# Family life and educational/career outcomes



## Jwing24 (Aug 2, 2010)

Hi,

I'm curious, for those of you who pursued graduate degrees and beyond, how much of this was a by product of the way you were raised?

As a kid, I grew up in a low income area. However, my parents dragged me to church in an upper class neighborhood every Sunday.

So I lived around kids whose entire household income is probably ~30k/yr vs families who were probably 120k+/yr at church. 

This is like being part of a longitudinal study on environmental experiences and career outcomes. The kids in my neighborhood haven't fared well, the ones I've known. Many didn't go to college, one became a criminal, and many others I never heard from again. 

OTOH, the kids from my parents' church are engineers/doctors/accountants/etc.

Right now I'm prepping to apply to graduate school for occupational therapy after working in finance and wanting a career change. Compared to my neighborhood friends, I'm doing quite well. However, compared to the church kids, I'm just another joe schmoe. 

I know for a fact that seeing both groups influenced me greatly. I saw the lives the local families lived and didn't want to have that sort of life when I got older. I could also easily see the possible path towards the life the church kids lived, based in their parents emphasis to succeed in school (my parents and the neighborhood kids, not so much of a push).


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## Jwing24 (Aug 2, 2010)

Guess no one has this sort of experience. Interesting.


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## FallingSlowly (Jul 1, 2013)

I definitely think it influences us. How much probably depends on a few other factors as well.

My parents, especially my father, are/were both very intelligent and educated (my dad up to postgraduate level). We still lived in relative poverty because he couldn't hold any job for longer than a year, with long periods of unemployment in between, due to behavioural problems.

I grew up in council estates for most of the time. There were families around me who had even less than us (and _no_ education), families with alcohol and drug problems etc. It wasn't pleasant. My mum still made sure I went to a good school. I was one of the poorest kids there, and I was constantly surrounded by children who came from wealthier families. I felt ashamed on occasion - not for having little as such, but for coming from the area I came from, which had a bit of a reputation. 

I still ended up being one of the best students and going to University. I didn't choose the right profession first time around, but that doesn't matter in this context.

For me, school and Uni were the way out, despite not feeling comfortable at times. I didn't want the life I saw most of those around me leading, but deep inside, I also knew that there were no guarantees - especially looking at my father. 

So yes, it did influence me greatly. It made me work harder, but I also think it made me a bit insensitive to my own needs. By that, I mean that I had a "you need to pull through, no matter what"-attitude which occasionally gave me tunnel vision.

EDIT: As for financial security/earnings: I think that's much harder to answer because it depends on so much more than just family background. I don't earn millions, but I am very secure financially - I'd say I have a higher income than many other people working in the performing arts, but I also have a "portfolio career": I teach/lecture in HE, I write, I am a musician. I am doing well compared to some of the people I grew up with (even those at High School I'd reckon). Do I do better than all of them? Most certainly not.

In my first job, I started out earning pretty much the average for a postgraduate in research, which was okay, but not grand. It enabled me to save though.
When I changed careers, I had nothing again (we're talking as little as 4 figure sums a year, which just about enabled me to pay rent for a rather shabby apartment and existing on really cheap food), but it wasn't a problem for me that time round because I wanted the change so badly.
I was very lucky that my career developed the way it did, and that I am financially more than comfortable these days. I know a lot of people in my field of work aren't. I'd still do the same though if my income dropped to really low levels again, because I love what I do. Having a low income in a job I hate however would be something that would really get to me.

So not sure about the financial aspect. It has a lot to do with life priorities in general, not just family background (although the latter of course influences your attitude towards life).


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## Jwing24 (Aug 2, 2010)

FallingSlowly said:


> I definitely think it influences us. How much probably depends on a few other factors as well.
> 
> My parents, especially my father, are/were both very intelligent and educated (my dad up to postgraduate level). We still lived in relative poverty because he couldn't hold any job for longer than a year, with long periods of unemployment in between, due to behavioural problems.
> 
> ...


Thanks for sharing! Was trying to start a discussion and hear some other stories. I find this topic quite interesting.


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## pearlgirl87 (Oct 7, 2013)

My parents were refugees and came here with whatever education you could get back in Vietnam. They have amazing work ethic though and are by no means unintelligent because of their lack of formal education. I grew up in a suburb and there was a mix of families who made good money and those who were your typical lower-to-middle class families. 

I wouldn't say that I'm a scholar but I did well in school, in college, and now I'm currently a graduate student in psychology. 

My parents, of course, wanted me to be a doctor and they did want me to pursue higher education so that I could support myself easier and not toil as they did. 

Can't say that I'm much of person with earning potential. I have adopted the same work ethic my parents had and I work extremely hard, but I don't find value in making money and always having nice things and I pursue education for the opportunity to grow and learn (I only tell people it's because you can't do anything with a bachelor's, heh). I've been told it's an old soul type of mentality ... I just don't want to invest so much in the world that I spend my days working hard toward achieving a large salary. I'd love to be a clinical psychologist, but its not my main goal.


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## AriesLilith (Jan 6, 2013)

Family background matters, as it shapes our personality and life goals too, but in the end it has a lot to do with how we are and what we want.

Personally, I grew up influenced that college is almost a must in order to have better career and life. Families of our cultural background would expect their kids to go to college, and it's also some sort of pride for them (Eastern Asian influence ).
My parents didn't even have high school, they were not ambitious and are simple but principled people. They often told me and my brother that we have to study hard and get a degree so that we can have a better life, thought they were not too demanding, as they have let us take care of the studies by ourselves and only asked how things were going at school from time to time.

I guess that I've got into college since I saw it as a way everyone goes to in order to have a good life, and I have been lucky to be able to do it without much difficulty.

But as I'm an adult now with my own life and home (house, husband, dog ), I do feel glad that I have a college diploma and have the life I have now. Maybe it also depends on the country we live in, but here in my country and in some other European countries, a degree in relevant fields do make a difference (I'm a programmer), and my degree allowed me to have a stable and a financially fine life. My husband doesn't have a degree (he's a systems admin), so he has a harder time to find good opportunities (thought he has a very stable job and we receive pretty much the same).

But gee, it's when we have bills to pay that we realize the difference it makes... Unfortunately, the finances in my country are not going well, but I'm very glad of our income and the possibility of having a stable life style compared to many people. I do believe that it's more about our skills and attitude than having a degree, thought a degree matters where we live and unfortunately, not everyone can be Bill Gates or Steve Jobs. Thought I guess that a degree matters for employers, as it shows that we have satisfied certain knowledge requirements and could deal with the expectations.

On a more idealistic side, I do think that pursuing further studies is a good thing, and that everyone should have the opportunity to do so in their favorite fields, if that is what they are interested in. I know someone who is a great student, and she is pursuing phD instead of simply starting a career with a great job, as she would have been more than able to do so. But she is doing so coz that is her passion.


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## daddyjordan22 (Aug 13, 2013)

My wife comes from a high emphasis on education background and most of her family has a master's degree or higher. Some have several masters in various fields. Both her parents have master's degrees in several fields I think. My family side has a lot less emphasis on education, most don't even have a bachelors degree and I think only a handful have a master's. Both my parents for example have no college degree. The environment you are raised from I think does impact you greatly, I for one will make sure I encourage and promote academics to my children and hope they all eventually get a college degree. I think where the economy is at now it is becoming necessary to ensure a good quality of life to have a college degree. But aside from getting a good job and such, I think education is a wonderful personal growth experience (similar to traveling to me too), and I want my children to experience a wide range of ideas, views, and lifestyles and cultures as they grow up into adults.

For me it was always a goal of mine to have a college degree. I wanted that for my own personal goals and also to walk the talk I planned on giving my children one day.


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## AriesLilith (Jan 6, 2013)

There are two points I want to add that I think might be relevant:

I have mentioned in my previous post that after having a home and bills to pay, I have realized how relevant it is to have a better job/career and better pay check. I want to emphasize this point, as I think that young people might not have enough perception about the importance of this (my own younger self in the past included), specially for those who always had a stable life without financial worries. Sometimes, they can be tempted to simply drop school to work, specially when they receive the first pay check from some part time or so, but don't be blinded by this sense of new money power - it really can make a difference between getting better jobs and getting average jobs. And I'm not just talking about pay check value - I know someone who just ended high school, and she doesn't seem to have much career plan. She started doing some part-time, and now is going to have full-time in an electronics store in a mall, but aside of a small pay check she's getting, the work conditions and the work itself are hard and unstable. The type of contract she signs doesn't give her any guarantees as the traditional contract would give (can be terminated easily), and this will have more impacts later when she has her own family, like her chances of getting a loan to get a car or house (banks assess the risks of a loan contractor by evaluating their chances of unemployment and how much income they have). So while now what this person receives as income might seem a lot as she doesn't have bills to pay, it might be very hard later when she is ready to have her own family and even kids.

That is why it is important to think long term and not simply short term. School might suck and not everyone is good at studying, but don't be too fast to drop out, as life often is not easy and we have to face some hard situations before we can achieve the good stuffs.
Even if we can't get a degree, at least we can try to improve our chances in other ways and try to study in other ways.


Another thing I wanted to point out is that the type of degree we get is also relevant, that simply getting a degree in any field is not a guarantee for success. Anyone who is thinking about pursuing a degree must try to evaluate the prospects of the fields where they live or intend to live, or in which countries it might have good prospects.
Don't simply believe in what the university says about their degrees, they wouldn't be telling anyone to not attend to their courses even if there are not much employment in their fields anyways. We need to see for ourselves, maybe do some online research of personal experiences and such, to see if it's really worth taking.


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## nonnaci (Sep 25, 2011)

I'm a second generation Asian where my parents immigrated from China through my father's graduate studies in the states. We've started in lower-mid class and moved our way up to higher-mid class where I would have attended a somewhat affluent school system. Ironically, I tested into and decided to attend a magnet program that was located in a ghetto district (placed there to raise test scores) and had always felt a sense of prejudice towards rich folks in my local neighborhood. I chalk this up to my aversion towards their sense of entitlement/expectations which I normally subvert. Even more ironic, the decision to attend the program despite the odd circumstances was probably due to the need to feel special (to strike out on my own accord). Part of this may have been due to the lack of integration with myself to my peers during middle school. A Freudian would probably say I'm stuck fighting some Oedipus struggle against my father. A modernist perspective would be that specialness is a reaction to anomie, especially for immigrants.

My current views on education is that one can become self-taught due to access to resources (internet) if they are driven and disciplined; this is somewhat contrarian to my family's perspective that placed formal education on a pedestal. As to why education is important, my view is that knowledge as self-knowledge is the potential to enrich life (the premise); this is the counter-side of my parent's Confucian viewpoint of knowledge as sole means of economic security (the end) (they lived through cultural revolution). Neither perspectives are unexpected given the differences in our life circumstances/experiences.


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## StElmosDream (May 26, 2012)

Based upon family histories coming from a long line of housewives, cleaners, handy odd job men, and, builders and factory workers education has always been seen as a lower priority than earning a wage - any wage, with a cousin that completed anatomy training seeking to become a coroner at one point, as the first to even graduate past High School let alone to Postgraduate level about 4 years before I even started my degree (now she assists in a vets and works within the tourist industry in Vietnam seemingly disinterested in the significance of higher education). 

At times battling such undercurrents of 'be educated but don't become too successful in life' can be very tiring, when I aspire to one day self fund postgraduate studies in a different subject to what I even started higher education in (a variety of Computer Science), knowing that I am breaking preconditioned moulds outlined when my upbringing instilled a likelihood of 'failure' when in reality degree level education provides more upward mobility and social freedoms compared to previous generations. Growing and getting the sense that progression and accomplishments were never actually expected, creating a multi faceted generation divide of sorts when education standards and thinking styles so often conflict whenever time is taken to discuss personal lives or life challenges.

Insomuch as @nonnaci noted varying generational applications for education, my parents saw education as more useful if universal trade skills were learned, while I as the early World Wide Web generation learned early that knowledge and by extension formal education would become all the more necessary in a changing world being incrementally taken over by technological and information led advancements, in areas such as self guided home study and quicker access to global communications rather than static local-regional knowledge exchange alone.


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## Hypaspist (Feb 11, 2012)

Half of my family (and their friends) tend to be nicely educated, sometimes having 2-3 degrees and a master's or PhD and make fat incomes. The other half consists of a fair amount of military personnel (or retired personnel) and business owners. I have lots of motivation every time I meet up with them and that's pushed me to a "anything less than college is unacceptable" attitude. My high school, in stark contrast, was full of people who were exhilarated when they had a D on their report card because it was "above failing". When I got to college, the high school environment seemed to have won out shown by a clear lack of drive and motivation to achieve results. I did manage to dig myself out of a very deep hole, but only after working a full time job (prior to graduating college) and because of the job, I put together a string of solid semesters earning no less than a B in any class I took. What was at that job? People with PhDs, master's degrees and multiple BS degrees who made me look like a 5 year old when in an intellectual conversation. These people traveled regularly and had a wide range of experiences ranging from truck driving to serving in the military. 

High school screwed me over royally, it actually made my first 2 years in college a living nightmare, but the family and friends with high standards (numerous professors and even diplomatic staff) have motivated my thirst for understanding of the world and intellectual pursuits. I'd be in college binge drinking and crashing cars like there was no tomorrow if high school was all I had to motivate me.


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## Parking fine (Oct 4, 2013)

pearlgirl87 said:


> My parents were refugees and came here with whatever education you could get back in Vietnam. They have amazing work ethic though and are by no means unintelligent because of their lack of formal education.



I love these kind of stories


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## Northcrest (Sep 21, 2012)

Both of my parents were born and raised in Africa and traveled to the U.S. Both of them are very intelligent my mom has a masters in social work while my dad has from what I've been told a 3.7 gpa but he didn't go to college afterwards. They've been struggling to make ends meet for quite a while but it wasn't prominent till about after the family trip to Africa and even worse when both my older sister and I started going to college. Money is such a big issue here its annoying. I originally wanted a degree in CS because I wanted to have a stable job when I got out of college. I quickly realized how much I disliked programming. It wasn't fulfilling and was boringly tedious for me. Now I want a studio art degree, something I've been doing near all my life and enjoy tremendously. I know I'm worried about ending up poor with coming out of college, but I don't want to think what if my whole life. Both my parents had to give up a lot of things when they chose to have kids. I can tell (especially with my dad) that they haven't done everything they wanted to do, even to end up in the situation that they are in now. So im going to do what I can before I regret everything and maybe even help them if time lets me.


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