# Extroverted Feelers



## brittauzenne (Feb 8, 2013)

Ive been thinking recently- I notice that extroverted feelers have quite a bit of social responsibility. 1 because we're feelers and then extroverts 2 because that makes us the loudest (aka the most heard). As an extroverted feeler have you considered this? Have you ever come to a point in your life where you realized you should do "better" because you immensely effect the people around you (whether you like it or not)? Lets talk!

Clarification: IM TALKING ABOUT ANY ExFx , not just Fe users sorry

So the question is for ESFJ, ESFP, ENFP, ENFJ


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## brittauzenne (Feb 8, 2013)

Clarified: the question is for any exfx


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## pmj85 (Jul 31, 2010)

Well, there are times when I - *looks at clarification*


.... ok :-(


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

l see all the lead Je types that way. 

Sometimes people will defer authority to a thinking type, especially an extroverted one. l don't see myself filling that role over an ENFJ, for example. ExFJ and ExTJ would be who l would look to...in my mind they are Alphas lol. l don't know if they feel like it or not.

l don't use that to mean ''bossy'', just more interested in leading and therefore probably better at it.


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## brittauzenne (Feb 8, 2013)

@_OMG WTF BRO_ interesting input. The reason why I said exfxs is because I notice especially esfps as of late seem to end up majorly influencing people in places like music/culture (which is very significant today). I still think any feeler is gonna have a bigger range of influence but I do understand what youre saying. I would say for tradition and stability I agree with you. 

And do I "feel" alpha lol, I feel like I have quite a bit of social influence and in very broad ways thats somehow built into every facet of my life but I dont know about other exfjs or extjs. I think you could call it alpha yes... but dont tell anyone!

@_pmj85_ Lol sorry feel free to share ideas anyway!


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## brittauzenne (Feb 8, 2013)

So I am talking more about cultural influence thru affecting attitudes...A feeler can do that like nobodys business. My dad is an estj, he didnt necessarily effect me culturally just my ideas about processes and stuff, if I can add.


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

I don't consider myself that loud, though I guess I still try to be mindful of how what I say and do can affect other people.


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

I"m not completely sure what you are asking here, was a bit confused with your post.  Fi from my perception is more related with cultural influences through personal creativity. Fe to me appears more about what is socially expected, obligated or acceptable rather than cultural. Again, not really clear what angle you're coming from. Sorry if it doesn't answer your question


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## brittauzenne (Feb 8, 2013)

MuChApArAdOx said:


> I"m not completely sure what you are asking here, was a bit confused with your post.  Fi from my perception is more related with cultural influences through personal creativity. Fe to me appears more about what is socially expected, obligated or acceptable rather than cultural. Again, not really clear what angle you're coming from. Sorry if it doesn't answer your question


Im saying, in my opinion, if youre extroverted AND a feeler you are going to be a natural effector of mood probably on a large scale...Maybe it is just Fe people but Ive seen ESFPs do alot of damage too and they're Fi users so...


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## shakti (Oct 10, 2012)

Omg yes, I feel a huge responsibility for the well-being of people around me...I love to help people and lead them, and my greatest pleasure is to see people develop and fulfill their potential 

On the downside, I have been accused of being a nazi at times :ninja:


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## brittauzenne (Feb 8, 2013)

Ah yes, comes with the territory sometimes, unfortunately. Its like parenting.


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## phoenixpinion (Dec 27, 2012)

d


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## brittauzenne (Feb 8, 2013)

My main point is that all feelers are in a better place to understand EMPATHY than a thinker and because of that they just effect more end of story. Regardless of e/i . Fi is different I know but its not totally cold at all.


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

brittauzenne said:


> My main point is that all feelers are in a better place to understand EMPATHY than a thinker and because of that they just effect more end of story. Regardless of e/i . Fi is different I know but its not totally cold at all.


I respectfully disagree.

empathy is to put yourself into someone else's shoes. Which is to say, you have to look to a problem and see their view with THEIR eyes, and way of thinking. Not your own. If you feel for them and the situation or what have you, what you are expressing is sympathy or compassion, not necessarily empathy. Compassion is to feel for that person or situation and do what you can to help or to at least contribute to the state so as to improve it if at all possible. Sympathy differs in you are willing to do things FOR the cause or person that otherwise could be done on their own. (this is often done so by feeler types imo because we want to help and so forth but operate from a more "feeler" point of view and therefore may over extend ourselves or what is reasonable. in essence, it's counter-intuitive because it produces enabling behavior when we're overly sympathetic for others.

Where on the other hand, a thinker type OR a well balanced, developed feeler type, would be able to distinguish boundaries so as to be capable of true empathy. To really feel for the other person and see it from that other persons point of view, not their own. It may be because they are not as attached to their own emotional state when thinking, necessarily. And so when they think of a situation that calls for an emotional response, their able to think through another emotional point of view. 

In my personal experience, more times than not, it is the thinker types who have been the most compassionate and empathetic. Feeler types, while more adept at providing emotional support, seem to be less able to give up their emotional point of view (whether Fe or Fi) and attempt to help/fix scenarios or people on an emotional level that's not within the bounds of what's appropriate (making situations worse) or over-dramatizing situations etc.

I do believe it took me a few light bulb moments of personal growth and "evolving"/maturing etc. for me to really be able to practice empathy and provide more authentic love and caring e.i. conscious relationship (w/ my self and others).

I do not think it's wise to assume that just because a persons temperament is that of a thinker would insinuate their less apt to generate empathy for another person or situation. SAME as I feel it would be foolish to assume that just because a persons temperament is that of a feeler, that they're less capable or at some sort of disadvantage of thought/comprehension etc.


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## SuperSoaker (Aug 19, 2013)

@Ningsta Kitty

I think INFJ type 7 could be very sweet as well! 

For empathy you have to have some kind of introspection and really listen to what the other person wants and not what you want to give. Otherwise it's just like when you get those socks on Christmas that you never use.

I think empathy and unconditional love is connected. If you can't love without conditions you can't have real empathy.


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## Scelerat (Oct 21, 2012)

I think it depends, I've not really interacted much with ENFJs, but the ESFJs I've had to deal with are generally very stuck in their perspectives, I.E. "I'm going to help you.. by doing exactly what I would want in your situation".


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## brittauzenne (Feb 8, 2013)

I still think general social responsibility is a feeler trait.


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

brittauzenne said:


> I still think general social responsibility is a feeler trait.


That's terrible! Lol! It's okay if you prefer to believe that but I can't help to think that's awful, because nothing could be further from the truth IMO. I think both feelers and thinkers have that trait. Rather they achieve it in different ways. It's just sad you'd discount an entire population as being socially irresponsible with no logical basis at all. Which is ironically, socially irresponsible! Lol!!


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## nonnaci (Sep 25, 2011)

Corporations are people too ;0 What happened to that good samaritan law?


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

brittauzenne said:


> I still think general social responsibility is a feeler trait.


Can you explain to us the meaning of a feeler ? And please provide a LINK from a reliable source ( Jung ) that explains in detail the meaning. I've been studying cognitive functions ( MBTI ) for many years now, and to my knowledge there is NO such thing as a feeler, or thinker for that matter. So please, it would be helpful if you could provide us with LINKS, ARTICLES, OR anything from MBTI to back up your theory that those who use Fe, or Fi are considered feelers.

Your thoughts about MBTI are very skewed and incorrect. I think perhaps you should take the time to do some studying, because reading your post tells me you are NOT EDUCATED in cognitive functions, nor are you educated with MBTI.


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