# SP - Inability to stand up to parental figures?



## Razare (Apr 21, 2009)

My ISFP ex had this problem, and just now I was reading a post in the ISTP forum about some guy finally deciding to move out of his parent's place... but he'd have to sneak out his personal belongings while they're gone because his parents were controlling/demanding over his life.

It just then struck me that perhaps this is a problem shared by the SP group itself? I'm not saying it is, I'm just curious if SP's agree or disagree with this.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

It's not related to type. I realized in my early teens that living with my mother didn't provide a stable environment or the ability to focus on my studies. I stood up to her and my dad got full custody. I still live with my father and we do not agree politically, I will stand up for what I believe in. I'm not a rebellious person per se because it conjures up images of immature pissy children in my mind. 

I have my own opinions and I'm entitled to that.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

I was very demure and well behaved and even fearful of rocking the boat as a child, but when I got to be about 13 or 14 years old all of that changed, so no I don't relate. No problems at all standing up to parental figures in the teens and beyond (though obviously I'm not rebellious as an adult like I was in high school).

I know an ESFJ who was more controlled by his mother well into his twenties, and I thought this had to do with Fe guilt and loyalty to family combined with that Si-related SJ discomfort with major change.


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## Le9acyMuse (Mar 12, 2010)

It used to hurt my feelings when my parents used to scold me for making mistakes. Even small ones. I shot back in my teens, too. I find my parents to be overbearing unto those they fall short of comprehending. Went against my 'code.'


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## Fleetfoot (May 9, 2011)

I wouldn't really stand up to my parents if I didn't have a reason to. If they were being inconsistent with anything, I'd call them out on it, and they respected what I said, so for the most part we got along really well for 2/3 of me living with them. Same went with any other person, adult or someone my age when I was younger. I'd have respect for anyone at first, but that respect would diminish if I called them out on anything, and proved to me that they didn't respect me back, or what have you, and I would give some teachers complete hell and shit sometimes because the amount of respect I had for them was null and void. 

I stood up to any authoritative figures whenever I felt like I needed to, but for the most part I wouldn't usually bother because it wasn't worth my time.


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## Lock (Sep 21, 2011)

I'm more than capable to stand up to my parents but the chances are it's probably something which I don't care too much about to begin with so I just don't bother.


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## dagnytaggart (Jun 6, 2010)

@Razare

The ISTP you mentioned was from my thread, I believe. I wouldn't say that this was an SP problem, because I know other SPs who were fine/assertive with their parents.

This guy was just brainwashed from birth to actually believe his parents when they degraded him. I think his parents are INTJ and ISFJ, as a guess - both types that can really get to people if they wish to.

Oh, and another atypical factor this ISTP faced - if he defended himself at all, the father would actually beat the shit out of him.


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## Ponzi (Oct 12, 2011)

My mother and I don't get along because she wants a submissive boy that she can control. Over time I've grown my own opinions and perspectives on life a
and she never adjusted to it.

I don't think she got past Year 13 in the Parenting Handbook


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## Zulu (Oct 15, 2011)

I would go against my parents almost every chance I had and even sometimes when I agreed with them, but don't get me wrong, I was always on good terms with my parents, until recently. I just like to make my own decisions and do my own thing.


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## L (Aug 12, 2011)

I don't see my so called parent as authoritative, so there was no problems standing up to her. 



Ponzi said:


> My mother and I don't get along because she wants a submissive boy that she can control. Over time I've grown my own opinions and perspectives on life a
> and she never adjusted to it.
> 
> I don't think she got past Year 13 in the Parenting Handbook


My mother never got passed 13 in the growing up handbook.

EDIT: she is ESFJ, which is why I have a very negative view of ESFJ's in general. Well...school really helped with that negative view too.


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## firedell (Aug 5, 2009)

If you ever met my brother, (ISTP) you would think differently. My brother loves standing up to my parents, he does it in such a rude way as well. Any chance he gets, he will challenge them.

I on the other hand, i'm more laid back, so I only stand up to them when I feel the need to. I prefer a peaceful atmosphere. What is the point in starting something when it could be solved by just getting over it?


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## Neon Knight (Aug 11, 2010)

I had very Te strong parents and one was extremely unhealthy and could be frightening at times and controlling the rest of the time. If it were anyone else I'd probably tell them to jump off a cliff or push them off one myself.


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## Field (Oct 5, 2011)

I have tested ES?P I currently live at my parents house . I get along well with my parents . We are good friends for the most part.


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