# \ o / omg touching and uncomfortable emotionalism from Fe users WHYYY!?



## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

ThatOneWeirdGuy said:


> I totally thought you were a woman before you mentioned the beard in that post.


No offense to freebeer but I did too.


----------



## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

Lol, I am so amused that people mistake him for a woman. I didn't think of him as that feminine, but then I remember him from when he used to be called Grim, which is kind of a manly nickname (not that Freebeer is _that _girly either, though).


----------



## HighClassSavage (Nov 29, 2012)

Nonsense said:


> Lol, I am so amused that people mistake him for a woman. I didn't think of him as that feminine, but then I remember him from when he used to be called Grim, which is kind of a manly nickname (not that Freebeer is _that _girly either, though).


Not the guy to be correcting this, but, it was Rim, not Grim, lol. Grim was an ENTJ/INTJ.


----------



## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

Gentleman Bastard said:


> Not the guy to be correcting this, but, it was Rim, not Grim, lol. Grim was an ENTJ/INTJ.


Tsk. Well still. Semi-baddass name, I guess. =P Or maybe that is just me.


----------



## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

There is this teacher who is so sociable and she's not even our teacher but she comes up to kids in my class and talks to them and touches them like they are some kind of close family members.


----------



## Eggsies (Feb 5, 2013)

Your coworker obviously wants the D


----------



## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

MNiS said:


> No offense to freebeer but I did too.


XDDDDDDDDD

Dude, profiles have a gender icon ya know?



Eggsies said:


> Your coworker obviously wants the D


 she will have to do without.


----------



## ThatOneWeirdGuy (Nov 22, 2012)

FreeBeer said:


> XDDDDDDDDD
> 
> Dude, profiles have a gender icon ya know


We don't pay enough attention apparently. xD


----------



## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

FreeBeer said:


> XDDDDDDDDD
> 
> Dude, profiles have a gender icon ya know?


I know, I was just teasing you.


----------



## Cantarella (Sep 3, 2010)

Um... am I the only person who likes this sort of thing? Lol! I used to have this SEI coworker who would randomly start singing and petting/playing with my hair. Just thinking about it makes me want someone to play with my hair some more!

Actually, I knew an EIE who would do this kind of stuff too, like offer to dress me up, do my hair and the like, and I will shamelessly accept! Really, I have no issue with being touched. I just wish people would do it more often! Sometimes I ask my EIE coworker for hugs because her hugs are no joke. They are REAL hugs, lol.


----------



## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

Cantarella said:


> Um... am I the only person who likes this sort of thing? Lol! I used to have this SEI coworker who would randomly start singing and petting/playing with my hair. Just thinking about it makes me want someone to play with my hair some more!
> 
> Actually, I knew an EIE who would do this kind of stuff too, like offer to dress me up, do my hair and the like, and I will shamelessly accept! Really, I have no issue with being touched. I just wish people would do it more often! Sometimes I ask my EIE coworker for hugs because her hugs are no joke. They are REAL hugs, lol.












o.o maybe its just preference. I'm a rather friendly yet distant & cold person. ^^; as far as I know everyone who I have introduced to MBTI so far has told me that I'm a T (because I'm not the feely type) ...I beg to differ...I just don't ever show feelings unless I'm pised and out of control and I don't experience them internally strongly enough to act on them most of the time.

....so I never really feel like hugging anyone except my non existent gf.


----------



## Vermillion (Jan 22, 2012)

Cantarella said:


> Um... am I the only person who likes this sort of thing? Lol! I used to have this SEI coworker who would randomly start singing and petting/playing with my hair. Just thinking about it makes me want someone to play with my hair some more!
> 
> Actually, I knew an EIE who would do this kind of stuff too, like offer to dress me up, do my hair and the like, and I will shamelessly accept! Really, I have no issue with being touched. I just wish people would do it more often! Sometimes I ask my EIE coworker for hugs because her hugs are no joke. They are REAL hugs, lol.


No, no, you're not alone. I love when people aren't afraid to touch me or play with my hair or whatever. (Well, appropriately, but that goes without saying, I hope :tongue A lot of people think I look so fucking serious and unapproachable all the time, so when people actually don't mind transgressing physical boundaries that way, I feel so comfortable with them lol. I mean, I know this EIE I dislike a great deal usually, but we were walking somewhere in a crowd, and so that she wouldn't lose sight of me she held onto my shoulder and hand and that was enough to make me hate her less for a while. Wtf is wrong with me, I guess xD 

Seriously though, if you're not afraid to touch me and my things, I love you a little more. I'd love to be a little touchy with people too, but I usually repress that quite a bit because I know most people don't appreciate it :crying: So I wait for them to indicate they're ok with it before getting that way.


----------



## Word Dispenser (May 18, 2012)

I'd be uncomfortable with it at first, but I'd think of it as novel and not unappreciated... From others ladies, of course. Like: ''Well, that's refreshing.''

I'd be really offended if it were a guy, and I'd tell them what I thought of it, and probably avoid them afterwards.

Maybe that's showing a bit of a double standard, but I don't think that this is an unusual reaction.


----------



## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

.


----------



## Sixty Nein (Feb 13, 2011)

I think the touching bit has more to do with an archaic, less attended to sensation side to yourself than anything else. A classic case of inferior Si really.

To be honest I sort of wish I was touched more, and I love it when people mess with my hair or whatever. I just don't want it to come out of nowhere.


----------



## Cantarella (Sep 3, 2010)

Sixty Nein said:


> I think the touching bit has more to do with an archaic, less attended to sensation side to yourself than anything else. A classic case of inferior Si really.
> 
> To be honest I sort of wish I was touched more, and I love it when people mess with my hair or whatever. I just don't want it to come out of nowhere.


There was a movie with Hugh Jackman where the guy is rich and pays hairdressers just to tousle his hair on a daily basis. If I were rich that would so be me. Lol


----------



## Kizuna (Jul 30, 2011)

some people are kinesthetic rather than visual or auditory, and communicate most effectively when allowed into personal space, ideally with some touching or other sensory thingies. They are misunderstood way too often! But I must admit I'm also weirded out by it (because I'm all visual, to me a genuinely warm smile is more than a hug or comforting words.) My bodily-contact-rate with family members and friends is lower than 0 :laughing:


----------



## Elyasis (Jan 4, 2012)

I'm more okay with physical displays of affection these days than I used to be. Now I can't stand long, wordy displays of affection. It's like "Who are you trying to convince with that speech?" Eye contact and silent communication is still preferable to me, however.

If people show respect to me than I am more likely to be open with them.

If they force it though... that door is likely to be closed forever.


----------



## bombsaway (Nov 29, 2011)

lololololol my boyfriend is always complaining that I cuddle too much and stroke his beard too much etc. Often I'll stop talking to him and just cuddle because it's so nice and comfy and I can just curl up and take a nap and it pisses him off because he prefers to sit and chat :tongue:

I guess I obviously know him better than you know the woman who's stroking your beard though so it's not as creepy. But I'm always initiating group hugs with my friends. I think it's a special privilege, however. Like, I don't hug just anyone. If I'm overly huggy and touchy with you that means we're best friends for life.


----------



## Tridentus (Dec 14, 2009)

lol wut.. I'm an ENFP and I lurrrv me some touchy feely.

I wouldn't do it in a workplace though lol.. but touch is a big part of how I relate to people in general, for things like touching someone's arm while conversing, or giving a hug to a friend. When I was a teen, in my home town, everyone just used to hug people they met if they felt like they could be friends, that was just how it was.

Touch brings people closer together, and makes people feel connected. It's human nature. It also makes you happier and more fulfilled.

Don't get me wrong though, I wouldn't stroke some random's beard- unless it was at a party or something and we were both drunk.


----------



## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

bombsaway said:


> lololololol my boyfriend is always complaining that I cuddle too much and stroke his beard too much etc. Often I'll stop talking to him and just cuddle because it's so nice and comfy and I can just curl up and take a nap and it pisses him off because he prefers to sit and chat :tongue:
> 
> I guess I obviously know him better than you know the woman who's stroking your beard though so it's not as creepy. But I'm always initiating group hugs with my friends. I think it's a special privilege, however. Like, I don't hug just anyone. If I'm overly huggy and touchy with you that means we're best friends for life.


o.o hmm I love cuddling and all that too :| I'd say I REALLY like cuddling...with my girlfriend and it ends there. She can hug me, mess with my hair and do whatever she wants ^^;...with her I'm extremely affectionate in this manner...but only she and nobody else, not my family, not my friends and especially not acquaintances or strangers :\.

Hmm some days I'd prefer to spend hours in bed cuddling - teasing and talking :| (yeah that will eventually lead to sex and more cuddling afterwards)..so Idk why at least a fraction of this does not apply to other people.

I perceive physical affection from everyone else as one step over the line. They would be invading my personal space and its making me uncomfortable.

@Tridentus

 technically speaking I'm Ne-Fi IEE....I never tested as MBTI ENFP...more like xxxP tbh, sometimes INFP, sometimes ISTP.

Hmm could be my upbringing, thou my parents and most people around me were always affectionate and I never liked it \o/!!!

*Idk why this is the way it is, but I'd be interested to find out.*


----------



## Tridentus (Dec 14, 2009)

@_FreeBeer_

well considering mbti is about cognitive perceptions, i can't see how it might link to liking touch.

my parents were never particularly physically affectionate, although my grandparents definitely were lol.

being touchy-feely is something that I found out for myself during my teens. most of my closest groups during my teens hugged each other, and I always felt the most connected in my life with those groups. since then I've always been very comfortable with touch.


----------



## bombsaway (Nov 29, 2011)

FreeBeer said:


> o.o hmm I love cuddling and all that too :| I'd say I REALLY like cuddling...with my girlfriend and it ends there. She can hug me, mess with my hair and do whatever she wants ^^;...with her I'm extremely affectionate in this manner...but only she and nobody else, not my family, not my friends and especially not acquaintances or strangers :\.
> 
> Hmm some days I'd prefer to spend hours in bed cuddling - teasing and talking :| (yeah that will eventually lead to sex and more cuddling afterwards)..so Idk why at least a fraction of this does not apply to other people.
> 
> I perceive physical affection from everyone else as one step over the line. They would be invading my personal space and its making me uncomfortable.


I'm sort of similar in the sense that I don't hug a lot of people and aren't really affectionate with my parents. I've had people take the piss out of me before as well because sometimes someone will go in for a hug and I don't want one so I do those overly fake 'hollywood' hugs with one arm and as little contact as possible. It's not until recently I've been more okay with hugs and I think it's because my friendship group currently is very cuddly so that's our way of communicating. Any other group I tend not to. Boyfriend has to deal with all the cuddles though. I think I'm like you in the sense that all my touchy affections get loaded on one person, much to their annoyance in my case.


----------



## Dyidia (May 28, 2010)

I think a lot of it is just how we relate to various displays of affection.

I like when people I like are physically affectionate with me. I don't initiate it myself unless I know for sure the other person is cool with it (which is like one small group of friends so far), but it's probably the main way I show affection. If I think about it, it's sort of a failsafe for me. It's like the cats that jump up in my lap and just want me to pet them. I don't have anything to say to the cats, but they're welcome in my lap because I like them. So I guess it's something like... it's pretty rare for me to meet someone that really registers with me, so it's easy to run out of meaningful things to say, yet hugging/playing with hair/etc can create a form of psychological contact I find meaningful?

I've known a few people too who I never really talked to, but their body language was like... we're really aware of each other for some reason in a warm/awkward way. It's different, because it's sort of at a distance and kinda accidental, but it's the same in that there's nothing really specific there, yet it's still personal in a way.

Otoh, if someone got into the habit of idly playing with my hair all the time, I'd get annoyed. Then it's like "Hi!...Hi!...Hi!..." and doesn't really have any emotion to it. I also feel awkward being physically affectionate with people who are naturally stiff; I don't really get much out of that either. And if I don't like someone, it's very unwelcome.


----------



## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

Dying Acedia said:


> I also feel awkward being physically affectionate with people who are naturally stiff; I don't really get much out of that either. And if I don't like someone, it's very unwelcome.


o.o maybe this is it....I'm sort of easy to approach / look like a decent-nice person and I'm friendly :\. For example at work everyone knows me and I tend to get along with all of them ^^;..

Maybe I just have an inviting presence that is misleading! o.o I wouldn't say I come off as stiff at all.... my ex said I'm like a puppy...uh..>_> then she'd pet me and say "yosh yosh!" XD


----------



## Dyidia (May 28, 2010)

FreeBeer said:


> o.o maybe this is it....I'm sort of easy to approach / look like a decent-nice person and I'm friendly :\. For example at work everyone knows me and I tend to get along with all of them ^^;..
> 
> Maybe I just have an inviting presence that is misleading! o.o I wouldn't say I come off as stiff at all.... my ex said I'm like a puppy...uh..>_> then she'd pet me and say "yosh yosh!" XD


Haha, yeah what your ex did reads kinda like testing to me. I sometimes do something really playful/silly and then gauge the reaction of the person I did it towards. I could definitely see that invasive lady at your work feeling like it's okay because you gave no strong negative reaction, and now feels like you secretly like it or something.

I have a friend of a friend I met not too long ago, and he tried to fake-seductively stroke my face. My immediate reaction was to just laugh while pulling his hand away. I said something like "you're free to try stroking my face, I'm just going to pull your hand away." I don't know whether he seriously took a liking to me or not, but if I let him do that I'd feel like I'd sent the wrong message. 

I'm sort of naturally friendly as well, but my demeanor tends to sour pretty quickly when someone does something I don't like. I've had problems with people who just suck at reading emotions though, so I've had to learn to be more physical with my distaste sometimes.


----------



## Inveniet (Aug 21, 2009)

FreeBeer said:


> o.o yeah, I know other Fe users, IEIs to be specific and they don't do this lol. >.> wonder whats up with these people...


They are trying to get excuses to go meet that attractive dentist they met last week again.
Don't just stand there help them out. The more teeth on the ground the better. :angry:


----------



## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

hornet said:


> They are trying to get excuses to go meet that attractive dentist they met last week again.
> Don't just stand there help them out. The more teeth on the ground the better. :angry:


XD lmao!


----------

