# My Sister is in a Cult



## Slider (Nov 17, 2009)

It all started when she moved to San Diego.

Things were fine for a while, until she started quitting jobs.

Then she started looking for a purpose. She became obsessed with Yoga.

From that point, her associations with Yoga turned into relationships with strange people.

She stopped working and became dependent upon people for guidance and acceptance.

I never knew my sister was a Follower. I thought she was a Leader and I was the Follower.

Long story short, for the past few years she has been regressing and becoming more and more strange. 

Finally culminating in an exceptionally odd Facebook post. She travels around with this cult or group of extraordinarily bizarre people is currently in Norway for some reason. Our only communication with her seems to be through Facebook.

Last night, this was brought to my attention by a family friend who is now astutely aware of how weird she is.

My sister has over 1,000 friends on Facebook and many of them are people who we have known for over 20 years. They can see everything she posts.

I informed my mother that nothing will change unless her life becomes so miserable and convoluted that she seeks out the help of her family. In order for that to happen, she has to hit bottom.

Do you have any experience with this sort of thing? I really don't want to live a lifetime knowing that I have this bizarre sibling running around somewhere.

I suppose things could be worse, but we have always been a close family. Nobody really knows what to do.


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## DAPHNE XO (Jan 16, 2012)

How do you know it's a cult?

She could just be tagging along on some crazy-ride?


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## lightwing (Feb 17, 2013)

I don't have personal experience. I suggest educating yourselves on everything you can that has to do with the cult. If in communication she catches someone with something that was unknown about what she's in to, that could be construed as ignorance and help to bias her against any efforts to help.

People can be more receptive to opposition when it's demonstrated that the opposition completely understands its opposing point of view.


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## Shaolu (Jul 1, 2014)

Does it appear to be a high control group? Test your observations of this group to see how well it matches up with the BITE model: https://freedomofmind.com//Info/BITE/bitemodel.php

If you get alarm bells in your head when reading through this, you might want to look into exit counseling in order for you to help your sister. It's a difficult issue that has to be handled delicately, but if your sister truly is being manipulated, then getting her out of this thing would be for the best.

Hopefully it's just a whacky religious movement with some eccentricities (that every religion has in some measure). Although, the fact that you're posting here about it already seems to suggest that you have some good reason to be suspicious.


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## Lemxn (Aug 17, 2013)

If she unhappy? Because if she's not...there's isnt a problem, at least, not for her.

People who is in a cult will never listening to they ones around, as you said, they may only realize about it when the hit bottom and become miserable. 

So no matter how they control her, if that's the case, she will not listen to your ideas. Most of those people even dissaper from everything because of brainwash they do to them.

If she is a happy girl and do not see anything bad, just let her.


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## Slider (Nov 17, 2009)

JungleDelRey said:


> How do you know it's a cult?
> 
> She could just be tagging along on some crazy-ride?


Crazy sums it up.


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## Slider (Nov 17, 2009)

lightwing said:


> I don't have personal experience. I suggest educating yourselves on everything you can that has to do with the cult. If in communication she catches someone with something that was unknown about what she's in to, that could be construed as ignorance and help to bias her against any efforts to help.
> 
> People can be more receptive to opposition when it's demonstrated that the opposition completely understands its opposing point of view.


Nobody understands what she is doing, because it is so bizarre. Nobody can relate.

My friend's father contacted me and said that it was one of the most bizarre things he has read on the internet. Haha.


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## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

Wow... That is quite selfish of you. Essentially, you seem to be embarrassed she's your sister and is doing something you find ridiculous. Why can't you let her find her own path? I agree it sounds crazy, too, but I would never tell my sister to stop or wish she hits rock bottom.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Slider said:


> Nobody understands what she is doing, because it is so bizarre. Nobody can relate.
> 
> My friend's father contacted me and said that it was one of the most bizarre things he has read on the internet. Haha.



Do they have a name? Do they call themselves something?


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## Slider (Nov 17, 2009)

Diligent Procrastinator said:


> Wow... That is quite selfish of you. Essentially, you seem to be embarrassed she's your sister and is doing something you find ridiculous. Why can't you let her find her own path? I agree it sounds crazy, too, but I would never tell my sister to stop or wish she hits rock bottom.


Then you don't understand.

Your opinion is appreciated.


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## Gossip Goat (Nov 19, 2013)

Hire a private investigator? You don't *really* know if she's in a cult. What weird things is she doing/saying? How long has it been since she's been with these people?


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

Hmm, ironic, I just finished watching the cult episode of Boy Meets World.

Cults ARE for people who hit rock bottom. It's not like their life is going oh-so perfectly, and they think it'd be even better if they joined a cult. Thus, her life getting worse would only enhance he desire to feel included there.

It's kind of hard now, but she needs someone(s) to accept her in person and drag her out of that cult. It's not the easiest thing to do; however, insulting her, or the cult, won't be the wisest route to follow. Everyone can get depressed, and everyone wants to feel included--it has nothing to do with being a follower or a leader. Humans just want to feel included. And if she was hitting rock bottom and was alone... well, then she only had one place to go to, because her family probably wasn't there for her.


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## dragthewaters (Feb 9, 2013)

Antipode said:


> Hmm, ironic, I just finished watching the cult episode of Boy Meets World.


TIL that Boy Meets World has a Very Special Cult Episode. The more you know....

Is the cult organized with a name, or is it just a group of assorted wacky people? Is there stuff on the Internet about it? Is she actually doing anything dangerous (like drug trafficking, Flirty Fishing, blood sacrifice, or what have you) or just having weird beliefs and saying weird things?

Honestly it sounds like prodromal schizophrenia more than cult influence to me.


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## DAPHNE XO (Jan 16, 2012)

Sorry!

I kept meaning to re-reply to this thread after I'd thought about it a little bit more. I imagined what I would do if my own sister was in a cult and I figured the best way to get her out of it was to treat her attachment to the cult like an attachment to an abusive, alcoholic,violent partner.

You have to slowly, reassure and reaffirm her cult friends and practises while subtley implanting the idea in her mind that she's better than them, and would do much better without them.

It's a very, very tricky thing to do, but I can't see any other way. If it's truly a cult she's in, these people define her now. They tell her what to think and how to live, if you undermine or invalidate her cult, she'll take it personally.

Reaffirm her, reaffirm her cult, but let her know she's better than all that, kinda like "I can see exactly why you'd join something like this! It seems like the sorts of things you're into, but have you ever considered what else you could do? Why limit yourself to one thing? There are plenty of other options available out there. I dunno man, the choice is yours, but I think you're selling yourself short."

It's very subtle "manipulation," but it's the only way to get round her self-defence: the ego.

Good luck!


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## noz (Dec 7, 2009)

Have you considered that she's developing schizophrenia? How old is she?


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## Eckis (Feb 7, 2013)

Reach out to her and let her know how much she's worrying you and your family. I don't have experience with this sort of thing, but I can imagine how difficult it is.


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## Word Dispenser (May 18, 2012)

I suggest joining in and infiltrating this cult, with the support of family members (So that if you get in too deep, you have contacts to pull you out). When you're in her proximity, tie her up, throw her in a van, and get the heck outta dodge.

More seriously though, by joining in, you can understand it from her perspective, and therefore she can't say, 'You don't understand'-- Because you do!


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## gestalt (Feb 15, 2011)

How do you know they are a cult exactly?


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## Emerald Legend (Jul 13, 2010)

As long as she's not serving as 213th wife of messiah's third coming who lives in a secluded wooden area where he stockpiled lots of ammo and given the males the task of defending the fort while he screws their wives (where your sis is number 213)- I see no problem with this..cult.


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## Surreal Snake (Nov 17, 2009)

CULT(Definition)

[kuhlt] 
noun
1.
a particular system of religious worship, especially with reference to its rites and ceremonies.
2.
an instance of great veneration of a person, ideal, or thing, especially as manifested by a body of admirers: the physical fitness cult.
3.
the object of such devotion.
4.
a group or sect bound together by veneration of the same thing, person, ideal, etc.
5.
Sociology . a group having a sacred ideology and a set of rites centering around their sacred symbols.


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