# would you date a feminist?



## doineed1 (May 25, 2014)

Well would you?


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## doineed1 (May 25, 2014)

Hmm.. yes.. even though the last one I dated tried to poison me.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

As a feminist, I prefer feminists.



doineed1 said:


> Hmm.. yes.. even though the last one I dated tried to poison me.


I guess then you wouldn't ever date anyone with the same nationality as that person, or some other group they are a part of, then?


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## doineed1 (May 25, 2014)

skycloud86 said:


> As a feminist, I prefer feminists.
> 
> 
> 
> I guess then you wouldn't ever date anyone with the same nationality as that person, or some other group they are a part of, then?


Lol not a chance. Heck we are even still friends.. I just don't let her bring me anything I will ingest. Lol


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## Wellsy (Oct 24, 2011)

Sure, lot of lovely women happen to identify as such.
Why limit my options


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## TootsieBear267 (May 30, 2014)

I'm currently dating a "proud brown woman" right now. So yes I would and I like it. She's adorable as a button, with the personality of a firecracker.


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## OutOfThisWorld (Nov 4, 2013)

I think it would depend on the values of feminism they hold. 

If they are radical, then no dice. I'm all for females being brought up to the level of males on a social standing, but I don't want to be with someone who puts me down just because I belong to the male gender. 

While I can acknowledge the privileges (I hate this word used in social context so much...) I have as a male, calling me out on it when it was unprovoked is just plain rude and shows me that they are delusional.


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

That's like asking would you date a vegan or a Christian. Would you not date someone based on their beliefs? Just wondering.


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## doineed1 (May 25, 2014)

isingthebodyelectric said:


> That's like asking would you date a vegan or a Christian. Would you not date someone based on their beliefs? Just wondering.


It depends on the beliefs. Also it would depend on how much they respected me for my beliefs.


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

I did. And I'm pretty sure she was of the SJW variety. Not as extreme as others, but still a bit up there. She would regularly say she hated white people, even though she was white. And she thought people drawing fanart renditions of the Lion King that were white was whitewashing.

I didn't mind that so much, though. A dealbreaker for me would be if she wore her sexuality as an "I deserve to have this awesome thing!" (Yeah, sexuality isn't some magic fairy pixie dust), thinks that flirting with the same sex is harmless, acted hateful against straight people, or thought stupid bullshit like 99% of rapists are men.

Feminists, great! Most feminists are great people, and we do live in a patriarchal society. SJWs, not so much.


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## DualGnosis (Apr 6, 2013)

I used to date a girl who went to a women's university. I think they subliminally turn their students into feminist (though this is merely speculation) because the girl I dated did have fairly strong feminist-leaning opinions, though she never openly said she was a feminist.

That being said, she was a lovely and pleasant lass though we did disagree about a few things. So I guess as long as you have mutual attraction and trust, any kind of relationship can work out.


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## Chesire Tower (Jan 19, 2013)

There's a rumour going 'round that feminists have supposedly more liberated vaginas . . . jus' saying.


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## Cephalonimbus (Dec 6, 2010)

Sure, i don't see why not.

Of course i wouldn't want to date a crazy SJW tumblr feminist who acts like a victim and propagates the idea that the world is one giant oppressive rape fest, but TBH i get the feeling those people only exist on the internet, or at least in some kind of invisible fringe subculture i never come into contact with.

Really, i never meet people like that and sometimes i get the impression that at least half of them are trolls anyway. The women i talk to IRL aren't usually so hung up on their oppression/patriarchy/rape culture and if gender/sex-related issues even come up at all, they typically have very reasonable beliefs: ie. the philosophy that men and women should get equal rights/opportunities/responsibilities, which i totally agree with. I don't remember ever meeting a feminist who was remotely as crazy as some of the people i see online. I'm not sure where those folks hang out when they're not caught up in internet shitstorms... but i definitely don't want to go there.



Torai said:


> I did. And I'm pretty sure she was of the SJW variety. Not as extreme as others, but still a bit up there. She would regularly say she hated white people, even though she was white. And she thought people drawing fanart renditions of the Lion King that were white was whitewashing.


Ugh... nope, that woud be a total dealbreaker for me. Radical feminists may be unpleasant and hateful, but at least they don't hate themselves. Good thing i'm white, so women like that stay the hell away from me 

BTW the Lion King is rumored to be based on a cartoon called Kimba the White Lion. Dun dun dunnn :shocked:


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

Most people who decide to firmly stand or identify with anything but themselves are typically too opinionated and need to get over themselves.

In short: Too bothersome :mellow:


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## Bugs (May 13, 2014)

I probably wouldn't date a hardcore feminist and she wouldn't date me either. I'm far too dominant in intimacy for their taste.


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## Playful Proxy (Feb 6, 2012)

I joke occasionally, but I'd actually prefer if I dated someone who at least acknowledged the disadvantages still present.


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

Cephalonimbus said:


> Ugh... nope, that woud be a total dealbreaker for me. Radical feminists may be unpleasant and hateful, but at least they don't hate themselves. Good thing i'm white, so women like that stay the hell away from me
> 
> BTW the Lion King is rumored to be based on a cartoon called Kimba the White Lion. Dun dun dunnn :shocked:


I'm white, too. I don't know if she hated them, per se... 

She seemed to be an image triad through and through, and I think she was a 3w2. She had a distinct preoccupation with impressing others and standing out. I heard some pretty horrible things from other people after the break-up, so my ex rage is just fueled with stories. One of my friends, who coincidentally has the same name as me, just got extremely frustrated with her and told me a bunch of shit that she did that I never witnessed, like the aforementioned "I deserve to be pan!" debacle, her speech about how "you should love yourself like Kanye West loves himself", and being "playful" with her boyfriend at the funeral of her friend. And I saw a picture of her on Facebook with her female friend's lipstick smears all over her face while she had the same boyfriend...


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## Hypaspist (Feb 11, 2012)

Nope. I also don't date people passionate about politics or religion. I've never had a positive experience with a woman who identified as a feminist, and when I did meet one, our interests and views were so wildly different without said feminism brought into the picture that things never worked out.


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## doineed1 (May 25, 2014)

Torai said:


> I did. And I'm pretty sure she was of the SJW variety. Not as extreme as others, but still a bit up there. She would regularly say she hated white people, even though she was white. And she thought people drawing fanart renditions of the Lion King that were white was whitewashing.
> 
> I didn't mind that so much, though. A dealbreaker for me would be if she wore her sexuality as an "I deserve to have this awesome thing!" (Yeah, sexuality isn't some magic fairy pixie dust), thinks that flirting with the same sex is harmless, acted hateful against straight people, or thought stupid bullshit like 99% of rapists are men.
> 
> Feminists, great! Most feminists are great people, and we do live in a patriarchal society. SJWs, not so much.


Sjw?


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

doineed1 said:


> Sjw?


Social justice warrior.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

I would.


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## doineed1 (May 25, 2014)

Promethea said:


> I would.


Prove it.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

doineed1 said:


> Prove it.


k


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## doineed1 (May 25, 2014)

Promethea said:


> k


Lol your awesome.


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## Moya (May 22, 2012)

I wouldn't date a woman who wasn't a feminist. Or a man, even if he prefers the term "egalitarian". I'm not going to become involved with someone who thinks that one group of humans is lesser than another.


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## doineed1 (May 25, 2014)

Moya said:


> I wouldn't date a woman who wasn't a feminist. Or a man, even if he prefers the term "egalitarian". I'm not going to become involved with someone who thinks that one group of humans is lesser than another.


So if a man doesn't label himself he obviously thinks another group of humans are lesser?


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## Devrim (Jan 26, 2013)

Totally,
To me that means we're all equal in the eyes of the law and society,
So if someone would like to tell me they don't agree,
Then I think there would be issues in our ideologies,
And therefore how we lead life


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## changos (Nov 21, 2011)

...


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## doineed1 (May 25, 2014)

changos said:


> ...



....


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## nuut (Jan 13, 2014)

isingthebodyelectric said:


> That's like asking would you date a vegan or a Christian. Would you not date someone based on their beliefs? Just wondering.


I wouldn't date someone based on their beliefs (depends on their beliefs though).


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## MindBomb (Jul 7, 2010)

Moya said:


> I wouldn't date a woman who wasn't a feminist. Or a man, even if he prefers the term "egalitarian". I'm not going to become involved with someone who thinks that one group of humans is lesser than another.


Wow, that was quite a leap.

In regards to the OP, I am not attracted to ideologues or people who are rigid and dogmatic, regardless of the beliefs involved. So, it depends.


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## Aya the Abysswalker (Mar 23, 2012)

Depends on how hardcore she is, but I've dated one. It didn't end well.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

doineed1 said:


> Well would you?


What's the alternative?


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## Donovan (Nov 3, 2009)

i honestly couldn't care less what a person identifies with, as long as "the morals of their decision" don't directly oppose another's rights. in the end, that's all that really matters (and not so much in what-exactly-a person's focus is, as that focus still not _them_entirely). 

and for any group that isn't openly about hate, you'll kind of always find a large segment within it that doesn't actually want to propel itself at the cost of any other. it's just that the focus is slightly more concentrated--this, along with _actual crazies_ unfortunately making up a portion of _any_ group--can easily make it seem otherwise. 


so yeah, i would. and i'd also date non-feminist, too. i can't help but see anything like this in a person's life (be it a stance on social issues, or their job, etc.) as being smaller than who they are to begin with--or more accurately, a facet to them--so, it would be more of a balance between this particular facet and the others they had to offer. 

shorter words: neutral, not a deciding factor.

edit: (in response to all the opinions on dating someone a little more "feverish" in their beliefs)

i always feel like those people are on a quest of sorts, one that has much more to do with them than it does the issue they're fighting for. that could be interesting in sharing in it with them, but the relationship wouldn't be fully "one + one" but a relationship of "one + one on the foundation of this ideal"... which may change in time.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

As long as she doesn't tell me how to act, I really don't need that.


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## Leaf on the Wind (Dec 26, 2013)

That depends on your definition. Are we talking militant feminists, which seems to be what comes to mind every time the word is uttered? (In which case, the deal-breaker wouldn't be beliefs, but the extremity of the beliefs. Even if I agree with someone's cause, anyone who is so locked-in that they can't see any other side or even consider another side isn't someone I generally like being around).

Or are we talking run-of-the-mill egalitarian "women should be equal" type, who aren't visible to the media, but describe a significant chunk of society (even those who would never say they're feminists?)? Because if that's the case, then that pretty much describes somewhere between 80-90% of the women I'm actually attracted to (with the other 10-20% split between "I was really young and stupid" and "well, I thought they were like that, but they weren't").

So, I'm going to go with yes.


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## BlackDog (Jan 6, 2012)

I find it interesting that so many people profess a dislike for those who are extremely militant or passionate in their ideologies and beliefs. 

I mean, I'm not exactly an exception. I couldn't date someone who had different beliefs than me if they spent all their time trying to shove them down my throat (for example, I am atheist but I would date a Catholic on the condition they didn't put up anti-abortion signs on our lawn or petition against gay marriage, etc. - and I would expect them to have similar expectations of me). 

However, we seem to admire these militant and passionate individuals when we view them through literature or history books. People make history and social change by being _that person_ - you know, the one who has to bring up their mission in every situation, or picket and protest publicly, or go on hunger strikes, or refuse to conform under any circumstance. 

I'm hesitant to compare modern (Western) feminism with this, but just to better explain my point: I bet a lot of people were annoyed when Rosa Parks wouldn't just keep her trap shut and go to the back of the bus. It's just a bus, what's the problem with just sitting where she is supposed to? I bet she made a lot of people late for work and got under more than a few people's skin. In the grand scheme of things though - who cares? She contributed to a broad social change that we now view as extremely positive and beneficial. Nobody remembers that she was annoying. 

I think in day-to-day life most people don't want to be bothered, they just want to live their life in peace and get along with people. 

Just interesting, that's all.


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## somnuvore (Sep 27, 2013)

No; egotism and victim mentality are huge turn-offs for me. If I wanted to have a relationship with a person who was inferior to me, I'd adopt.


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## Satan Claus (Aug 6, 2013)

I'm a feminist and if you don't want to date me that's your loss I guess.


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## doineed1 (May 25, 2014)

tanstaafl28 said:


> What's the alternative?


That is a dam good question.. hmm maybe a Turkey grinder extra cheese?


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## doineed1 (May 25, 2014)

Satan Claus said:


> I'm a feminist and if you don't want to date me that's your loss I guess.


Fine.. I will date you.. but we split the bill.. and I get to pretend I picked the movie out..


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## Satan Claus (Aug 6, 2013)

doineed1 said:


> Fine.. I will date you.. but we split the bill.. and I get to pretend I picked the movie out..


Nah, I'm taken.


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## doineed1 (May 25, 2014)

Satan Claus said:


> Nah, I'm taken.


Lol so am I.. I was just teasing


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## Satan Claus (Aug 6, 2013)

doineed1 said:


> Lol so am I.. I was just teasing



Yeah, I know lol. By the way, what kind of dog is that? He looks like a mix of something.


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## doineed1 (May 25, 2014)

Satan Claus said:


> Yeah, I know lol. By the way, what kind of dog is that? He looks like a mix of something.


He is mostly wolf.. and 100% pain in the ass. Lol


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## Agelastos (Jun 1, 2014)

Depends. What kind of feminist?


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## Mr. Meepers (May 31, 2012)

Meep yes I would  I would marry a feminist  I mean we would already have a lot of shared values ^__^


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## doineed1 (May 25, 2014)

Agelastos said:


> Depends. What kind of feminist?


A angry one. Lol


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## Agelastos (Jun 1, 2014)

doineed1 said:


> A angry one. Lol


Then no.


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## doineed1 (May 25, 2014)

Agelastos said:


> Then no.


Its not as bad as it sounds I am sure.


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## Agelastos (Jun 1, 2014)

doineed1 said:


> Its not as bad as it sounds I am sure.


Is she a misandrist (man-hater)?


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## doineed1 (May 25, 2014)

Agelastos said:


> Is she a misandrist?


I have no idea what that is.. but I am going to say yes.


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## Mr. Meepers (May 31, 2012)

Snowflake Whisperer said:


> There's a rumour going 'round that feminists have supposedly more liberated vaginas . . . jus' saying.


I'd like to revise my answer from meep yes to meep meep meep yes  I don't think there are enough keeps in the world to express how much yes I want to say :kitteh:


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## Agelastos (Jun 1, 2014)

Then no.


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## RandomNote (Apr 10, 2013)

Nah i dont really feel like being blamed for everything cause im male, if im gonna be blamed its gonna be cause i did something and or did it for fun.


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## doineed1 (May 25, 2014)

RandomNote said:


> Nah i dont really feel like being blamed for everything cause im male, if im gonna be blamed its gonna be cause i did something and or did it for fun.


So what you are saying is that you want to be held accountable for your actions alone and not the rest of the males that have lived on this earth over thousands of years? 

Wtf man.. what about the bro code!?!


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## RandomNote (Apr 10, 2013)

doineed1 said:


> So what you are saying is that you want to be held accountable for your actions alone and not the rest of the males that have lived on this earth over thousands of years?
> 
> Wtf man.. what about the bro code!?!


Not mah code! id rather be blamed for something i did(and or did for fun) than be blamed for some guy at some point in time, in some place on earth using girl a and b as a table and chair.....respectively!


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## doineed1 (May 25, 2014)

RandomNote said:


> Not mah code! id rather be blamed for something i did(and or did for fun) than be blamed for some guy at some point in time, in some place on earth using girl a and b as a table and chair.....respectively!


Not my code either. Lol


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## dragthewaters (Feb 9, 2013)

Cephalonimbus said:


> Of course i wouldn't want to date a crazy SJW tumblr feminist who acts like a victim and propagates the idea that the world is one giant oppressive rape fest, but TBH i get the feeling those people only exist on the internet, or at least in some kind of invisible fringe subculture i never come into contact with.


Lucky you. Half the people who I went to high school with have somehow become this person in the past year or so. They hang out at grad programs in small liberal arts colleges, just so you know what to avoid.

Also, everyone: all that "feminism" means is "the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities and be treated equally." It doesn't mean "man-hating." It would be a deal-breaker for me if my significant other wasn't a feminist.


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## Moya (May 22, 2012)

doineed1 said:


> So if a man doesn't label himself he obviously thinks another group of humans are lesser?


That's why I said "even if he prefers the term 'egalitarian'". Because men shy away from the term "feminism" for some foolish reason.
Regardless, he has to believe in the ultimate equality of the sexes. You're misconstruing what I said.




MindBomb said:


> Wow, that was quite a leap.


Uh...no, not really.


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## chimeric (Oct 15, 2011)

hubcap said:


> There are different degrees of feminism. At one extreme we see the feminists who believe anytime a penis enters a vagina it is rape, even if it is consensual, or if the woman initiated the intercourse. I would not date any feminist who was that extreme.


Odds are even better she wouldn't date you.


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## doineed1 (May 25, 2014)

chimeric said:


> Odds are even better she wouldn't date you.


Ten bucks says they so would lol


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## He's a Superhero! (May 1, 2013)

No, I'm not insane. I would never date a hardcore feminist.


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## Satan Claus (Aug 6, 2013)

doineed1 said:


> He is mostly wolf.. and 100% pain in the ass. Lol


He looks huge! 0_0


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## doineed1 (May 25, 2014)

Satan Claus said:


> He looks huge! 0_0


I think he was around 160 there. Now he is 175.. I weighed about 230 pounds in that picture. If that helps with perspective.


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## OutOfThisWorld (Nov 4, 2013)

Torai said:


> You wanna know why I use that term? It's not because I'm some anti-progressive little shit.
> 
> I'm bi. I want rights to marry whoever, be myself without judgment, be able to be seen as no less worthy than a straight person, not be seen as faking it.
> 
> ...


I agree. 

You know, I'm gay and I have gotten attacked by a few people from my own community about being a male or cis. 

While I try to understand where they are coming from due to them lashing out from personal experiences, I really don't think it's right to make broad, sweeping hate speech. The worst thing is that they try cover it up with excuses as being trans/genderqueer/etc-phobic. 

I find it quite condescending because they don't know the individual and their life story. For all they know, the individual could be poor, have 1 parent, has a mental disorder, etc, but they think it's okay to believe that individual has it easy due to X or Y privilege. 

What makes saying "I hate white people" okay, but "I hate black people" not okay? Because of the privileges? I call BS on it. Ultimately, hate is hate, regardless of social standing. I mean, I think it's okay to vent frustration from social oppression with people you trust, but saying it in front of a stranger is plain disrespectful. 

The sad thing is that those types of people are unable to break from their own self-perpetuated victimhood and will probably remain a martyr for a really long time. Unfortunately, they will be spreading their misery and hate to everyone they encounter, setting back the equality movement. I don't think those kinds of people realize that attacking people blindly is going to turn off whatever potential allies that could help with the cause.


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

How could a guy feel that women don't have equal rights than men? I wouldn't expect one to want to date some outlandish extremist but just the core basic belief? Who seriously can walk around and say a female can't work to better her situation because she's a girl. Who thinks that way? A Neanderthal , that's who


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## Thomas60 (Aug 7, 2011)

I'd be reprehensive, but mostly I feel this is from the stigma given to feminists.
Certainly wouldn't want my partner to feel it was her life mission, because it would spill over on me.


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## chicklit (Feb 28, 2014)

I wouldn't date someone who isn't a feminist. That doesn't include labeling themselves as one, but believing in the equality of *all* genders and that none of them is inferior to the others.



Bugs said:


> From a male point of view ( a male that isn't feminized)I think this song says it all:
> 
> _These days there's dudes getting facials
> Manicured, waxed and botoxed
> ...


more like _"thank god, I'm still a straight white texan *******"_.

songs like these are part of the reason I'm a feminist. believing that it's necessary to prove your manliness and that being "feminized" is even a thing. grow up, brad. masculinity and femininity don't exist, they're merely a social construct of annoying stereotypes.


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## Bugs (May 13, 2014)

ningsta kitty said:


> How could a guy feel that women don't have equal rights than men? I wouldn't expect one to want to date some outlandish extremist but just the core basic belief? Who seriously can walk around and say a female can't work to better her situation because she's a girl. Who thinks that way? A Neanderthal , that's who


Yeah but then let's open up a philosophical can of worms by asking 'Can we define equality?' Does this also apply to men when it comes to 'reproductive rights'? Men have limited rights in courts when it comes to divorces and virtually none in child custody and absolutely no legal say in abortion of their child. Yes these are touchy subjects but let's talk about equality then .


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## Bugs (May 13, 2014)

chicklit said:


> I wouldn't date someone who isn't a feminist. That doesn't include labeling themselves as one, but believing in the equality of *all* genders and that none of them is inferior to the others.
> 
> 
> more like _"thank god, I'm still a straight white texan *******"_.
> ...


Sure , you stereotype them as much as they stereotype you. Shit failed when society started believing 'being a guy' is a mere social construct that must be done away with and that masculinity and femininity don't exist LOLOLOL. Yes they don't exist when you feminize men , I'll give you that!


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## chicklit (Feb 28, 2014)

Bugs said:


> Sure , you stereotype them as much as they stereotype you.


I didn't stereotype the singer, but the song. It's just the general impression I got.


> Shit failed when society started believing 'being a guy' is a mere social construct that must be done away with and that masculinity and femininity don't exist LOLOLOL. Yes they don't exist when you feminize men , I'll give you that!


If they weren't only a social contruct the term "feminize" wouldn't be that insulting to most men. Gender stereotypes are harmful to people who don't fit them and songs like the one you posted are encouraging society's expectations of gender. If you label yourself as male, you are male, it's as easy as that.

We're getting off topic.


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## Bugs (May 13, 2014)

chicklit said:


> I didn't stereotype the singer, but the song. It's just the general impression I got.
> 
> If they weren't only a social contruct the term "feminize" wouldn't be that insulting to most men. Gender stereotypes are harmful to many people who don't fit them and songs like the one you posted are encouraging society's expectations of gender. If you label yourself as male, you are male, it's as easy as that.
> 
> We're getting off topic.


Nah , the impression I get is you disapprove because the guy _dared_ to speak of some differences about men and women. He's basically saying he's a guy but to a feminist its like Neanderthals have been resurrected, lol. I typically don't like country music but I can't find anything I disagree with aside from the fact his lyrics also show he's a strong sensor ( which I relate less to) but the jist is spot on. I know some people dream of a post gender society but all I can say is dream on. I have no problem with people who don't identify with gender or are gender fluid as long as they reserve their judgments for themselves. Don't call my masculinity a 'social construct' lol.

To reiterate back on topic. I would not date an overt feminist who believes our perception of gender is a 'social construct'. Feminists have done well to combat legitimate inequality and misogyny in the past ( btw , tons of men fought for women's equality too) but then the movement... stuck around... got more powerful and it wasn't soon till masculinity was included into the definition of misogyny and started coming under siege. It went too far.


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## chicklit (Feb 28, 2014)

Bugs said:


> I have no problem with people who don't identify with gender or are gender fluid as long as they reserve their judgments for themselves. Don't call my masculinity a 'social construct' lol.


Oh, I have to correct myself: _People like you_ are part of the reason I'm a feminist.



> To reiterate back on topic. I would not date an overt feminist who believes our perception of gender is a 'social construct'.


(hint: they probably wouldn't date you either.)


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## Bugs (May 13, 2014)

chicklit said:


> Oh, I have to correct myself: _People like you_ are part of the reason I'm a feminist.
> 
> 
> (hint: they probably wouldn't date you either.)


I definitely won't lose any sleep over it. But you go ahead with your crusade to convince the world me being masculine is a 'social construct' and I'll just do something more fun and constructive with my life. We don't have to get in each others' way .


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## chicklit (Feb 28, 2014)

Bugs said:


> I definitely won't lose any sleep over it. But you go ahead with your crusade to convince the world me being masculine is a 'social construct' and I'll just do something more fun and constructive with my life.


I'm not saying that you can't consider yourself "masculine", I'm saying that it's not okay to tell other people they're not "masculine enough" to consider themselves male.

Oh, don't worry, I'm having fun.


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## Bugs (May 13, 2014)

chicklit said:


> I'm not saying that you can't consider yourself "masculine", I'm saying that it's not okay to tell other people they're not "masculine enough" to consider themselves male.
> 
> Oh, don't worry, I'm having fun.


You were just calling it a social construct as if it was some invalid concept. How do you define masculine even if you believe its an invalid concept? The song described some traits typically seen in newer generations of men which can be logically inferred to be associated with feminine behavior ( manicures , waxing , etc). It might be controversial but its true.


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## bombsaway (Nov 29, 2011)

doineed1 said:


> You don't sound like a feminist.


In what way?


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## Mutant Hive Queen (Oct 29, 2013)

The degree of a problem I will have with my date's feminism is directly proportional to the degree of a problem my date has with my writing, reading material, and other media I enjoy.


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## chicklit (Feb 28, 2014)

Bugs said:


> You were just calling it a social construct as if it was some invalid concept.


It's a meaningless concept, but people still hold value to it. They pointlessly attach stereotypical gendered meaning to clothes, hair, body and personality traits. It's meaningless, pointless and ridiculous.



> The song described some traits typically seen in newer generations of men which can be logically inferred to be associated with feminine behavior ( manicures , waxing , etc). It might be controversial but its true.


I just think it's amusing that he feels the need to prove how manly he is with his "honey yo, I don't straighten my hair, I'M SUCH A MAN lol."


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## Bugs (May 13, 2014)

chicklit said:


> It's a meaningless concept, but people still hold value to it. They pointlessly attach stereotypical gendered meaning to clothes, hair, body and personality traits. It's meaningless, pointless and ridiculous.
> 
> 
> I just think it's amusing that he feels the need to prove how manly he is with his "honey yo, I don't straighten my hair, I'M SUCH A MAN lol."


Why is it meaningless? If it's meaningless then why did you criticize me or the song for suggesting certain men weren't masculine? If its meaningless why would that question even matter to you? 

And part of the song was comical but in real life ( outside of the idealized feminist universe) some women wish to feminize their men by having them go to salons and get 'prettied' up.


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## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

Depends on what kinds of feminist you're talking about. A real feminist or a neo-feminist (female supremacist)?


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## chicklit (Feb 28, 2014)

Bugs said:


> Why is it meaningless? If it's meaningless then why did you criticize me or the song for suggesting certain men weren't masculine? If its meaningless why would that question even matter to you?





> people still hold value to it.


:kitteh:


> And part of the song was comical but in real life ( outside of the idealized feminist universe) some women wish to feminize their men by having them go to salons and get 'prettied' up.


Of course these women exist. I wasn't talking about "some women", but about my personal totally unrational and idealistic view on gender and society's stereotypes of them. I don't have the right to talk for every woman, obviously (hell, not even for every feminist).


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

Bugs said:


> Yeah but then let's open up a philosophical can of worms by asking 'Can we define equality?' Does this also apply to men when it comes to 'reproductive rights'? Men have limited rights in courts when it comes to divorces and virtually none in child custody and absolutely no legal say in abortion of their child. Yes these are touchy subjects but let's talk about equality then .


what makes you think I would be against strengthening those rights?


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

it wouldn't be an absolute deal breaker, but by virtue of the types of gay men who tend to be feminists, I probably wouldn't be interested anyway. gay men with lots of female friends in general are too campy and ExFJ for me and not typically the types I would get along with socially, much less romantically.


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## Spider2YBanana (Jun 1, 2014)

I wouldn't have an issue with it at all. I'm very attracted to strong-willed women because I want to be with someone who I can see and who sees me as an equal. I'm reticent to call myself a feminist in public not because I don't support the movement, but more because there are some people who just attract unwelcome attraction with radical stances and I don't like that association. Though I do have several feminist friends who would probably gauge me as an unofficial feminist.

The only thing that I would worry about are some of my own mannerisms. I was raised fairly conservative so I have a few traditional masculine tendencies. I'm no chauvinist by any means. Just do things like pull out chairs or pay for dinners because I'm big into being polite to other people not just women. And some of my friends say that I come off as macho. I don't see it but that might be a turn-off for certain feminists.


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## doineed1 (May 25, 2014)

bombsaway said:


> In what way?



In what way do you?


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## Bugs (May 13, 2014)

ningsta kitty said:


> what makes you think I would be against strengthening those rights?


Oh damn , I can see how my reply came off as standoffish. No I'm not saying you would be against it. It's refreshing to see you would be real equality that than just promoting a single group of people. That isn't feminism though.


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## bombsaway (Nov 29, 2011)

doineed1 said:


> In what way do you?


In the way that I believe in equal rights for all genders and actively campaign for that? In the way that I spend most of my time arguing and discussing about feminism and rape culture and patriarchy etc? I'm confused as to how one can 'sound like' a feminist or not.


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## Chest (Apr 14, 2014)

I'd rather date a dog


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## Mee2 (Jan 30, 2014)

I think the real question is whether I'd ever date someone who isn't a feminist.


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## Nordom (Oct 12, 2011)

If we were playing spin the bottle and one of the eight women was a feminist, (in my dream it's just me and eight women, and spin the bottle has replaced beer pong) and it pointed at her, I would honor the laws of spin the bottle.

This is roughly about as much thought as I've given to this question.


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## lightwing (Feb 17, 2013)

I wouldn't want to date anyone with a superiority complex, feminist or no.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Just as I answered on the MRA question. I would date a non radical one. I would not date a man hating woman or a male that is radical either. 

I don't tend to like radicals on either side.


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## KINGoftheAMAZONS (Jun 21, 2011)

I would only date someone who identified as an "_*anti-racist/anti-imperialist/body-positive/sex-positive/intersectional*_" feminist (or womanist). I want someone who not only desires to engage in feminist discourse, but whom also has the courage to publicly label themselves as a 'feminist'.


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

So what is this "feminist" I keep hearing about?


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## Chesire Tower (Jan 19, 2013)

Mr. Meepers said:


> Hahaha I don't know if I have demonstrated anything (other than letting people know that I find female feminists very hot *swoon* :kitteh on this thread, yet.
> That being said, I suppose I am one of the few people on this thread that does not equate feminist with being a "militant feminist". Now, of course, as someone has said earlier, feminism casts a large net when it comes to social issues, so there are going to be many types of feminists focusing on different issues and even disagree with each other on things. That said, I can say that I have never met a "militant feminist" (I'm not saying that they don't exist, just that I think that there are probably so few of them that it does not make sense to bring them up when talking about feminists and I think the percentage that people claim is greatly exaggerated). I won't say that I supported feminism all my life (or that I know a lot about it), but as I get older I can't help but see things that I may not have noticed when I was younger, even if those things are really obvious. Well that and as I got older I think I realized that feminism and feminists are really misunderstood. For instance, I have read a few feminist articles online and, at first, I thought it was blaming men, but as I got older, I realized that it was actually more complex than that, it was blaming society for how we condition both men and women to treat men and women differently. It was an opportunity to see past the social norms I may have been taking for granted. Another example of feminists being misunderstood was that I had a friend in college, and she was considered "bossy" and a few guys did consider her to be a radical feminist and I'm a very shy, conflict avoidant person and, at first, I was a little nervous around her, but as I got to know her, I found out that she was a deeply sensitive and nurturing person. I also began to realize that the reason she seemed "bossy" was because she was more aware of the impact our language and actions had than we were and she did it out of love for her fellow woman/human being. She was very passionate about feminism, and to me, love and passion are things that make a persons soul look so beautiful, you know?
> 
> Well, I don't know if you agree with me or not, but, in the beginning, I think the reason I did not understand feminism was my own fault (although I was never anti-feminist. maybe because a Philosophy professor, my first semester of college was telling us about a book she was reviewing and said feminism is about equality. She told us this out of the classroom and it could have been another semester because I took 4 classes with her. I respected her deeply, plus she likes to call me "Matty" and I like when people have nicknames for me ^__^, it makes it more personal), but once I started listening and when I kept listening, I found myself agreeing.
> ...













You clearly possess a beautiful soul.


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## MidnightPicnic (Dec 14, 2013)

Man, I'd LOVE to date a feminist! 
( ⋆•ิ ᴈ-ิ(ᵕ❥ ᵕ⁎ ॢ)

I am a goofy, compassionate, *artistic* kind of feminist, and I only wish for the same freedoms for adults and children to be comfortable specifically with their creativity. I believe subjugating adults/children because they're too masculine or feminine stunts any creative growth in one's independence from societies' stronghold of what women and men are meant to *perform*. 

So I'll date a feminist.. One that is compassionate, loves to challenge my thoughts and motivations encouragingly as his own, insightful, confident, supportive and likes support returned, who isn't afraid of touch and consistent true intimacy, one who understands the seriousness of inequality affecting children/adults everywhere and simply wants to have equality-for-all yet is not distracted or perplexed by the the tug-of-war between the garden variety of false-feminists and "anti-feminists", one who may or may not love Tim and Eric as much as I do (they make fun of everyone equally), that kind of male feminist. ^_^

That being said, I respect anyone, no matter how soft-spoken, crazy, angry, happy, whatever, if they're doing something that is evidently working for them and their cause and isn't hurting anyone or thing. 😎 I will leave with this; a drawing of duckman, just because. I made it nearly ten years ago and it kept coming to mind as I thought about this topic... I don't know why.. It may very well be irrelephant.


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## Mr. Meepers (May 31, 2012)

Snowflake Whisperer said:


> You clearly possess a beautiful soul.


:blushed: Thank you. That was very kind of you to say :kitteh:
*really, really, really, really, really big hugs* :kitteh:


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## School (Apr 29, 2014)

No, not really. Most males that are feminists seems to... talk about it... sometimes? I don't know. Sounds boring. No thanks. 

Hah, okay, I don't know. Depends. Probably not though.


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## Swede (Apr 2, 2013)

@_Bugs_, just wanted to say that all feminists are not dominants in the bedroom (assuming that this is what you meant by intimacy pages ago). I'm a feminist and a pretty clear sexual submissive. People generally want to simplify most things, but human beings are complex; A doesn't necessarily lead to B. 
My desire to have equal rights in my professional life does not dictate the way I enjoy sex, for example. As a matter of fact, it is not uncommon that men and woman who are strong leaders with high levels of responsibility in their professional lives enjoy being submissive in the bedroom. 

In addition, many feminists are more aware of inequality issues that men deal with than many other people, including men, are. I have personally created a few threads bringing up some of these issues here on PerC, such as cancer funding, the rights to frozen embryos after a divorce, etc. 
My observation is that the vast majority of people don't seem interested in debating/discussing on a deeper level which, to me, means that they are not really interested in collaborating on a solution.

There was a post a while back here on PerC about whether it is morally right to circumcise infant boys. As I recall, the most outspoken and well articulated opponents were pretty much all feminists (but all feminists were not opponents, depending on personal experiences with their own children). The most passionate proponents were all (I assume circumcised) men.


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## Uviteru (Jul 30, 2012)

Yes, I dated and married one and I couldn't be happier.


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## Cbyermen (Nov 28, 2014)

I'm a feminist, so you may say that this post is biased, but hear me out.

Alot of people confuse 'feminism' and 'overpowerment' for some reason. Feminism merely is the concept that all genders should be treated equally in every respect. We aren't overpowering. We aren't angry mobs of women who chase after men with pitchforks. We're normal people. In fact, I would _only_ date feminists. This isn't just limited to women, either. Men and other non-binary genders should be feminists.


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## galactic collision (May 1, 2014)

I wouldn't date someone who _wasn't_ a feminist.


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## Tetsuo Shima (Nov 24, 2014)

Maybe to enlighten her.

Question: Why do you hate men?

Possible Responses:

1. Women don't get to be as badass as men.
2. There aren't enough major female characters in fiction and they don't get enough character development.
3. Men are ugly, and women are pretty.

My response to any of those:
Do you even watch anime?

Honestly, as someone who is attracted to thin agile flat-chested badass pretty boys, I can't stand to see practically every badass anime character these days being female just for the sake of T&A. I kind of dislike women because they are proof that there is no such thing as intelligent design, so I'm definitely against feminism just because I would rather see sleek badass characters with streamlined male bodies. Not muscular or fat or anything like that. Just streamlined and not all curvy/lumpy/female.


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## galactic collision (May 1, 2014)

Xahhakatar said:


> Maybe to enlighten her.
> 
> Question: Why do you hate men?
> 
> ...


"i hate women because they don't fit my ideal cartoon aesthetic"


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## sockratees (Apr 7, 2015)

99.99% of the time - no. 


but after all it's just a word, it depends on how she defines it for herself and how she carries it


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

I mean, I wouldn't date a TERF, but thinking of women as walking vaginas isn't really feminist anyway.


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## Sovereign (Aug 19, 2011)

Possibly. We'd have endless things to talk about, which is a plus. She would have to be tolerant of my routine sniping of certain pillars that underlie her philosophy.


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## Pressed Flowers (Oct 8, 2014)

gosh no. the only type of man I respect is one who recognizes how irrational it is for me to have voting rights 

/ I am primarily a first wave feminist and so that's the feminism I'm referring to here. Sorry for being ridiculous and sarcastic /


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

Xahhakatar said:


> Question: Why do you hate men?


My response would be "Why are you asking a loaded question?"


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## mhysa (Nov 27, 2014)

i am and it's pretty awesome.



Xahhakatar said:


> Maybe to enlighten her.
> 
> Question: Why do you hate men?
> 
> ...


lmao


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## galactic collision (May 1, 2014)

alittlebear said:


> gosh no. the only type of man I respect is one who recognizes how irrational it is for me to have voting rights
> 
> / I am primarily a first wave feminist and so that's the feminism I'm referring to here. Sorry for being ridiculous and sarcastic /


bless your sarcasm! and off topic but i have to murmur it quietly to you: i can't believe you have 3,000 posts. impressed, jealous, bewitched, bothered, and bewildered. :tongue:


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## xisnotx (Mar 20, 2014)

I dont even know if there is one woman i would date, let alone a whole subset of them. Let me concentrate on finding one i can stand to tolerate first before I answer.


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## TheProphetLaLa (Aug 18, 2014)

Of course I would. And if the person didn't identify as a feminist they would have to at least believe that women and men should have equal rights. And not one of those "Men and women will never be equal but they both have 'value', like women knitting sweaters and men chopping wood in the forest." Yeah, I don't think so. Maybe next time Theodore.


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## g_w (Apr 16, 2013)

TheProphetLaLa said:


> Of course I would. And if the person didn't identify as a feminist they would have to at least believe that women and men should have equal rights. And not one of those "Men and women will never be equal but they both have 'value', like women knitting sweaters and men chopping wood in the forest." Yeah, I don't think so. Maybe next time Theodore.


Theodore? Why not Simon or Alvin? /Chipmunks>


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## TheProphetLaLa (Aug 18, 2014)

g_w said:


> Theodore? Why not Simon or Alvin? /Chipmunks>


I know who they are! You don't have to put "/Chipmunks>".

And because Theodore is the cutest. T.T But he isn't a feminist and I won't be swayed by cuteness.


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## g_w (Apr 16, 2013)

TheProphetLaLa said:


> I know who they are! You don't have to put "/Chipmunks>".
> 
> And because Theodore is the cutest. T.T But he isn't a feminist and I won't be swayed by cuteness.


*You* know, but I can't answer for all the lurkers. :kitteh:


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## Laze (Feb 19, 2015)

As long as they aren't bat shit crazy like Big Red then sure.


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## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

Sure.

Political/personal views aren't an issue with me, regardless of what they are. They really would only be an issue if they tried to force their views onto me.


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## Belrose (Dec 23, 2011)

Of course I would since I am one myself but I wouldn't give a TERF a snowball's chance in hell.


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## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

Xahhakatar said:


> Maybe to enlighten her.
> 
> Question: Why do you hate men?
> 
> ...


This is my favorite argument I've ever seen against feminism. Regardless of how serious you are or not.

I kind of wish you were being serious, because that would be even more hilarious to me.


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## Mair (Feb 17, 2014)

Would I date a feminist man ?

Well , no . I'm anti-feminism , pro-egalitarianism myself .


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## Macrosapien (Apr 4, 2010)

I'd date woman as long as she is open. If she has openness and doesn't think she knows it all, than she is fair game for me. I can't be with someone with a closed mind, I don't think it could ever work ever. But this thread seems to be about generalizations, and I dont think it is that easy, not everyone is the same, and the notion of this thread, seems to approach one who is a feminist from the perspective that she has to be a certain way. 

I guess for me, it would depend on what degree she is identified with her beliefs, how, and why. I think this would sum up everything. Openness is the key.


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## Tetsuo Shima (Nov 24, 2014)

Sporadic Aura said:


> This is my favorite argument I've ever seen against feminism. Regardless of how serious you are or not.
> 
> I kind of wish you were being serious, because that would be even more hilarious to me.


Idk what I'm being other than autistic and regretting every word I say.


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## EternalFrost (Jan 12, 2013)

I'm feminist and I dated another feminist but they were more left than I was and at times I felt like they were just lacking some logic?

For example, I said men are on average, are physically stronger than women. And they just went off on me like " Girls are just as strong as boys!" and I had to explain that some women are just as strong or stronger than a majority of men but they are a minority. And I made a comparison like " If I was born a man and did all he things in life the exact same and arm wrestled my female self, my male self would win because testosterone boost" 

And they were like " I guess...:/" like =_= The idea of feminism isn't to believe women are the same as men, its to appreciate the differences that men and women have and give equal opportunity based on those differences. Just facts man. 

Depends on their logic I guess. But that wouldn't turn me away from a date :] . TBH it was better than dating someone who wasn't a feminist who kept trying to justify their rape jokes after I told them to stop and then was passive aggressive about my ideals. =n=


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

sure. if she were smart, kind, and liked penis.


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## bigstupidgrin (Sep 26, 2014)

Dated one self-identified feminist. We didn't really talk about it all that much, it wasn't a really big deal. If some twist of fate meant I had to date again, it's too shallow to not date or to date based on that. 

TERFs though, didn't know that was a thing until now. Wow............


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## conscius (Apr 20, 2010)

Wellsy said:


> Sure, lot of lovely women happen to identify as such.
> Why limit my options


This is embarrassing, for some reason I thought you were gay, Wellsy. Don't know who I had got you confused with.... 



doineed1 said:


> Well would you?


Depends on the kind of feminist. If I'm seen as an oppressor just cause I'm a guy, then no. If she's a person who stands up for women's rights but also respects men's rights, then sure! I respect people who have beliefs and are committed to political causes, just I don't enjoy being demonized. Not saying all feminists do that or even if it's just the feminists (many different politically motivated groups have more extreme elements).


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## Wellsy (Oct 24, 2011)

conscius said:


> This is embarrassing, for some reason I thought you were gay, Wellsy. Don't know who I had got you confused with....


XD Well myth busted on that one.


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## aef8234 (Feb 18, 2012)

How the fuck would I even know? It's not like I go all "hai im jm are you a feminist? GREAT we'll bang later, okay?"
And then asking their interests would technically be a date anyways, so...
By technicality I already would've before deciding.


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