# ENTP-INTJ compatability



## day_dreamer (Nov 8, 2010)

Ok I know this has been discussed before. But I can't help but post it again. I absolutely love everything about my INTJ partner, the only problem I find is he being very very sensitive to my mindless jokes. :sad:

And the reasons which I piss him off are so rationally explained that I have no where to die! :blushed: I just keep keep assuring him to take my jokes lightly but it doesn't seem to work with him. Also another problem is that, as soon as I open my mouth, he knows what I am going to say...which isn't bad...but it deprives me of the pleasures of my verbal diarrhea :crying:

Can someone conversant with INTJs guide me to manage this relationship? Honestly, he is one of the rare person whom I genuinely admire for his intelligence and supreme confidence, I don't wanna lose him....


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## 0 1 1 2 3 5 8 13 21 34 (Nov 22, 2009)

Usually I'm very tolerant towards jokes.Though there are a few things that it disgusts me for people to joke about, that makes me wonder if he's really not an INFP (This is the type I normally see being very very sensitive to jokes and some can seem like INTJs becuase of the Fi and Te.) 

Maybe it would make it easier to figure this out if you posted some examples of your jokes and what he said about them?


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## Monte (Feb 17, 2010)

Say something unexpected!


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## day_dreamer (Nov 8, 2010)

You don't want to know about the baaaaaaaaaaaad jokes I make...but he is not an INFP for sure coz of the characteristics I find described everywhere for INTJs suit him perfectly (apart from me forcing him to take the MBTI test). :crazy:
Usually I try to lighten the situation and crack jokes which are worse :blushed:

I don't know but I'm always on my toes in the fear of pissing him off for some reason or the other with things I keep blabbering...but he assures me that he wants me to be this way...except for the jokes or sometimes the mindless things I say when my ego is hurt :sad:


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## Jazzlee (Aug 28, 2010)

I'm very interested in hearing other people's take on it, too.

I've been in love with an INTJ for about three years now. Back in the days before he was diagnosed with a terminal (but thankfully not fatal) illness, he had a much higher tolerance for my immaturity (even if I was sort of overboard back then). He loved my weird jokes and how I was always teasing him, pushing his boundaries, challenging him to debates. As for the things I blurted out when my ego was hurt, he wouldn't mind them; he'd just brush them off and do everything he could to make me feel better, to say that he was sorry.

But ever since his illness, he's been extremely cold, even despite the fact that I'm nowhere as childish as before. Mindless jokes get on his nerves and playful teasing or debating is considered a waste of time. I have to act like some stiff robot to not get him annoyed, and then he dislikes how inflexible and unhumorous I am being.

At the end of the day, I think we simply don't match anymore.

The thing is, if you really like this guy, he should just try to accept you as you are. You shouldn't have to tiptoe around him so that he doesn't get pissy. In the long run, it's going to be extremely tiring. Do your best not to go overboard with your verbal diarrhea, but don't try to change yourself completely. But that's just my opinion.


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## day_dreamer (Nov 8, 2010)

Yeah even I think so....well I'll give my honest effort (which I usually never did with anyone else). If things have to work out,it will or else...I don't know :sad:


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## Magnificent Bastard (Sep 22, 2010)

Jazzlee said:


> I'm very interested in hearing other people's take on it, too.
> 
> I've been in love with an INTJ for about three years now. Back in the days before he was diagnosed with a terminal (but thankfully not fatal) illness, he had a much higher tolerance for my immaturity (even if I was sort of overboard back then). He loved my weird jokes and how I was always teasing him, pushing his boundaries, challenging him to debates. As for the things I blurted out when my ego was hurt, he wouldn't mind them; he'd just brush them off and do everything he could to make me feel better, to say that he was sorry.
> 
> ...


Sorry but he sounds like he'd be happier in a relationship with a cave wall. Abort ship, miss.


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## lirulin (Apr 16, 2010)

I don't find jokes a problem usually. I find people poking at me, trying to get a reaction, a problem. The jokes that bug me are the ones where my reaction is supposed to be the funny part. So instead I do deathstare. Anything that smacks of manipulation is a problem, really. Also jokes that have stupidity as its basis (=mindless, then?). Wit is fine, most humour is great, including random Ne craziness, but fwiw, those are the main types I dislike. Without more specific examples, I don't know if it is relevant - but I find NTPs do those kind of jokes a lot. I also find being expected to laugh annoying. ENTPs can sometimes treat me too much like an audience, rather than a friend, without necessarily meaning to.

Someone lashing out because their ego is hurt though...tiresome. If I care about someone I don't want to be forced to lower my opinion of them, and that does it. Plus I really hear the words - emoting is great and all, but if it is specific judgments and accusations, I will remember that more than the anger that is the real message - and pissy people on ego trips tend to be judgmental and unfair and just...inaccurate. Their point is to lash out, not to communicate. I have no use for that.

I would say try to learn some of the *specific* things that bug him (jokes is too broad to give you useful information) - and then work on those. But do not go overboard, try too hard, because then it will look like mockery almost, like you don't understand what he's asking, like you're placing him in the bad guy role. He just doesn't want to be hurt - if you act in such a way that you're making it about him 'controlling' you than no matter how good you are at avoiding his triggers, he will not feel understood or like you take him seriously. Also, INTJs are not, always, the most flexible people in the world - the healthy ones will therefore understand that some things _you _cannot change. If what he is asking for feels too much, or too big, then explain _why._ Knowing why makes all the difference. Come to the negotiation as an equal, rather than treating his demands as if he wants them to be orders, and you can probably find a middle ground. I've noticed a tendency in a lot of people around me to think I am more rigid than I am - the reason I don't bend on things is if I see no good reasons to. Just tell me the reasons and I will. Everything is negotiable - but for some reason I never give off that impression. Again, don't know how much of this applies to your situation.


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## day_dreamer (Nov 8, 2010)

The funny thing is that I am the only person whom he 'cares' to listen to and abide by...not coz he loves me...but coz i speak logic. yeah about the joke,i dont expect him to laugh..but i dont want him to get annoyed either.actually I know its mainly my fault as I always slice his viscera and play around with his delicate organs (not to hurt him but coz I keep doing that to myself and consider it to be a fun game).

today I just spoke to him.you know whats the best part of being rationals? its that we settle disputes like gentlemen rather than emotional outbursts or anything. he is the only person who has seldom seen my ego except for the one or two times when I got frustrated by his icy aloofness. but i just communicated what irks me and he did the same, and now we are back on track again. another problem solved. :laughing::happy:


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## Cheveyo (Nov 19, 2010)

I figure ENTP+INTJ would be a good match.

And frankly, I'm terrified at the idea of you breeding. I mean, what kind of devil spawn will you two create?


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## day_dreamer (Nov 8, 2010)

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL :crazy:


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## DarkRyder (Dec 16, 2010)

*Hello from the INTJ*

sorry about reposting. shitty internet!!!


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## DarkRyder (Dec 16, 2010)

*Hello from the INTJ*

Hi all,

This is the INTJ in question. First post here. I was amazed at the result i got when i took the test a few weeks back, but i guess psychology is also kind of a science. :laughing:

Actually i have been in very few serious relationships, but i think i have seen a few girls in my time. I think this is the relationship in which i am most confident of success. I feel that we are very compatible especially when it comes to solves our misunderstanding and we have the same ways of showing that we love and care for each other. ( **whispers She has a gun to my head lol )

@ Cheveyo : you are right  DEVIL SPAWNS 

Hope to be posting again soon


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## day_dreamer (Nov 8, 2010)

> I feel that we are very compatible especially when it comes to solves our misunderstanding and we have the same ways of showing that we love and care for each other. ( **whispers She has a gun to my head lol )


ooooo like you said "we have the same ways of showing love", then u must b throwing hand grenades?:crazy:

Lol our kids will probably cause hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions and tsunamis :laughing:


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## InvisibleJim (Jun 30, 2009)

day_dreamer said:


> Ok I know this has been discussed before. But I can't help but post it again. I absolutely love everything about my INTJ partner, the only problem I find is he being very very sensitive to my mindless jokes. :sad:
> 
> And the reasons which I piss him off are so rationally explained that I have no where to die! :blushed: I just keep keep assuring him to take my jokes lightly but it doesn't seem to work with him. Also another problem is that, as soon as I open my mouth, he knows what I am going to say...which isn't bad...but it deprives me of the pleasures of my verbal diarrhea :crying:
> 
> Can someone conversant with INTJs guide me to manage this relationship? Honestly, he is one of the rare person whom I genuinely admire for his intelligence and supreme confidence, I don't wanna lose him....


Context is everything; if you seek to embarrass your INTJ with a joke in front of others he will mind, if you joke about in private he probably won't. Introverts are much more contextually sensitive; I have noted that ENTPs love to do everything with everyone, INTJs.... not so much. 

In addition you should be careful not to attack an INTJs causes/morals/feeling of competence, but a personal dig is generally more accepted (Fi response). This can fire a bit randomly.

I'm don't know if that's the case but with so little complete and manageable details I can't offer anything accurate.


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## Jerick (Mar 19, 2010)

Cheveyo said:


> And frankly, I'm terrified at the idea of you breeding. I mean, what kind of devil spawn will you two create?


Probably ENTJ (Stalin) or INFJ (Hitler)... or maybe even an ESFJ (too many to list).


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