# Fi intensity vs Fe casualness



## Peter (Feb 27, 2010)

Stevester said:


> Fe is definitely mistreated on forums like these I realize.
> 
> It's not chameleon-like
> It's not people pleasing
> ...


You make a look like the atitude of F, i or e, isn't a game changer,...... but it is, a huge game changer. So much even that people with these 2 different functions won't get along all that well. Try to make an INTP and an ENFJ be happy with eachother.... not an easy thing.

Why do you believe that Fi can't be outspoken? Try disagreeing with an INFP who's convinced about something. That gets ugly. Disagreeing with an ENFP,... not ugly, but you won't get anywhere either. You just don't know it. :smile:

Fe's morals change depending on who they´re with. That may make sense to Fe types, but to me, (INTJ, so Fi as third function and Te as second) that just means one thing: Not having morals.

And how is Fi romanticized? If you want romance, you´re better of with Fe.


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## charlie.elliot (Jan 22, 2014)

To the OP, I agree with a lot this. I was in a relationship with an Fi dom for 4 years so I can definitely relate to the hard dynamic. I'm not sure I break it down the same way you did (but I found your post very interesting nonetheless).

The biggest difference between Fi and Fe, I think, is that Fi-doms just feel their emotions. That's it. They know they can't change how they feel. They don't try. And because of this they probably actually express what they feel without worrying about it too much. (Note the "too much" on the end. I know Fi doms may worry about this but not as much as Fe users I suspect).

Fe users, on the other hand, think of emotions as communication. Everything means something. We don't necessarily express what we feel honestly because every emotional expression has a communicative intent. We can't express ourselves emotionally without afterward thinking "is that what I SHOULD be feeling?" To us, emotion, like language, is something shared between people. Like with language, there's a right and a wrong way to do it. 

One thing I figured out from many arguments with my ISFP is that Fi users don't bother wondering if they should be feeling what they're feeling; the fact that they're feeling it automatically makes it valid. 

Fe and Fi is such a bad clash that I almost wonder if they even belong in a relationship together... Especially two introverts. Maybe an I/E pair would work better? I definitely know some ENFJ/ INFP pairs that seem to work out.


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## Notanidealist (Jan 16, 2017)

charlie.elliot said:


> The biggest difference between Fi and Fe, I think, is that Fi-doms just feel their emotions. That's it. They know they can't change how they feel. They don't try. And because of this they probably actually express what they feel without worrying about it too much. (Note the "too much" on the end. I know Fi doms may worry about this but not as much as Fe users I suspect).
> 
> Fe users, on the other hand, think of emotions as communication. Everything means something. We don't necessarily express what we feel honestly because every emotional expression has a communicative intent. We can't express ourselves emotionally without afterward thinking "is that what I SHOULD be feeling?" To us, emotion, like language, is something shared between people. Like with language, there's a right and a wrong way to do it.
> 
> One thing I figured out from many arguments with my ISFP is that Fi users don't bother wondering if they should be feeling what they're feeling; the fact that they're feeling it automatically makes it valid.


It's really interesting to see this from then INFJ side. As an INFP, I can't even imagine changing my emotions based on whether I think I should be feeling a certain way or not, or that my emotions constitute a type of communication with others. 

I can certainly change my actions based on morality, or change how I feel based on new information or reflection (e.g. get angry with someone and then try to understand the situation from their point of view and change the way I feel about it), but I think you're talking about something different here.

I also find that with Fe users they ascribe way more intention to what I say than is actually there: it's like the Fe user will feel that there's this kind of meta level to our interaction that is constantly bringing us closer together or further apart. For me, once I've decided someone is a friend, we're good and all our interactions are predicated on that assumption. It takes a real betrayal for me to change the relationship status to 'not good'.

It's interesting how two types of feelers can feel things so differently.


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## charlie.elliot (Jan 22, 2014)

Notanidealist said:


> I also find that with Fe users they ascribe way more intention to what I say than is actually there: it's like the Fe user will feel that there's this kind of meta level to our interaction that is constantly bringing us closer together or further apart. For me, once I've decided someone is a friend, we're good and all our interactions are predicated on that assumption. It takes a real betrayal for me to change the relationship status to 'not good'.


Yeah that's a really insightful thing to pick up on, and definitely true (for me at least). Every interaction means something more than what's there on the surface... at least in my mind it does.... I've had to realize over the years that other people may not be experiencing the same meaning that I am experiencing... sometimes you have to step back and remember that it's probably just in your head. 

It also can be electrifying to hang out with other Fe-users.... it can be tense, but it's also fun. Sometimes I find other types lack something that only Fe-users have. Like I often think of jokes that I find hysterical but I know only other Fe-users would understand. But, it can also be really relaxing and peaceful to hang out with INFPs for example. They mostly get you, even if not completely, and you don't have to worry about anything... My INFP friend is a lot like what you said... once you're friends, you're friends, until something terrible happens. That's really relaxing and nice to find in a person.


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## Cobble (Dec 6, 2016)

As an INTP, I will only speak about how *my Ti/Fe* works. 
I won't dare to speak about Fe/Fi when they are only my 4th and 8th functions...


* *




• When I want to connect with people, I don't necessarily show the "super pure authentic me" : Ti-dominant is too repulsive for social interaction so I strongly smooth my hard edges. Not a lot of people wants to begin an interaction with a strong dose of Ti-bluntness. When I use Fe, I'm still being genuine but I prioritize the creation of an environment where people can show their best, authentic sides. I usually create this kind of environment with an extend use of emotional connections : I consider emotions as a method of communication, as an useful tool to navigate through the world, and as a tool to model the world. 

• I have my feelings, and I'm conscious of my feelings. But. My Ti strongly tells me to : "Never depend on a partial feeling" in order to make my life choices <because I believe they won't lead me to the best choices>. As a result, I don't connect my identity with my emotions, I treat my emotions the same way as I treat hunger. I listen to them, I feed them so that they don't go wild... and that's it. That makes me kind of emotionally though in most situation but with times I noticed that people weren't like me. Especially Fi-users. So in some situations, I'll use my Fe and I'll stick to other people (usually Fi users)'s convictions (even when I don't emotionally agree with them.), try to help them in their mission, while providing Ti-Fe guidance. I DO have feelings and convictions, but they are at the bottom of my priority list.

• My Ti strongly tells me to : "Rely on yourself". I respect people who rely on themselves even if it means they'll betray me. If I had to respect the "Treat people the same way you would like to be treated", I wouldn't mind "betraying people", since I don't mind "people betraying me". But I know that even though it doesn't bother me personally, it would hurt other people and would lead them to make crappy choices because led by negative/destructive emotions.
So here comes the "chameleon + adapt to other people's value" thing. (MY Fe) Depending on who I interact with, I'll change my attitude. If I'm working with someone who can't stand people who arrive late, I'll avoid arriving late (even though, I don't care about lateness.) If I date someone with a strong sense of loyalty (often Fi ter/inf), I'll act with the same strong sense of loyalty so that he never ever feel betrayed -even if I don't care that much about loyalty-. And so on.

In my priority list : Other people's emotions and values are more important than mine. (As long as my Ti doesn't disagree.)​



• In a nutshell, my Ti/Fe works like that :

*(Ti 1st)* <Rely on yourself / Don't be swayed by emotions >
*(Fe 4th)* <Take care of other people's emotion, create an environment where people can rely on each other.> 

_"I don't trust emotions in order to make decisions. 

As a result, I want to take care of other people's emotions so that their emotions don't lead them to any destructive decision. Instead, I want to provide a positive emotional mood to people - so that their positive mind can lead them to the most positive decisions and lead us to the most positive outcome."_​

note : Probably why I tend to be invested with Te-dom/aux. When their emotions go wild, they can be super destructive. When their emotions are alright, they do great stuffs for everybody. I must admit there's one sense of power and control over the world with the use of Fe, even if it's indirect. When I invest myself with people, I feel like people's success or failure, is indirectly mine.

I would be curious to know how it would look like from the Fi/Te or Te/Fi side.
^ @Stevester @Handsome Jack , any input about this ?


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## Handsome Jack (May 31, 2015)

Lynway said:


> As an INTP, I will only speak about how *my Ti/Fe* works.
> I won't dare to speak about Fe/Fi when they are only my 4th and 8th functions...
> 
> 
> ...


Thanks for the tag, @Lynway.

The difference, again, is that Fe is externally sourced and Fi is internally sourced. Fe uses social rules and systems as a starting point and reference ("What I know to be appropriate," "actions that I've seen used for this situation"). Fi uses internal rules and conduct ("What I would want someone to do for me," "actions that I think should be used for this situation").

Let's say a high Fe user and high Fi user have a mutual friend whose mother just died. They both want to show this mutual friend their love and support.

*High Fe user:* "Based on what I know about grief, what people have wanted when they're mourning, and what I know about this friend, I'll buy flowers, send my condolences, prepare food for the family, and cater to this friend's needs in case they need a shoulder to cry on." (externally sourced)

*High Fi user: *"Based on what I know about grief, what I'd want if I lost my mother, and what I know about this friend I'll send my love and offer to listen but ultimately leave them alone to process their sadness because that's what I would want." (internally sourced)

Both have their pros and cons, but both can misunderstand the other's intentions and actions:

*High Fe user:* "Fi, why would you leave someone who's sad alone? Why wouldn't you show your love and support for them during this difficult time? You're selfish, you're giving them what you would want and not what they would want or need."

*High Fi user:* "Fe, why would you smother someone who's sad when they haven't processed their grief? Why wouldn't you give them time and space to mourn privately during this difficult time? You're fake, you're giving them the generic stereotypical treatment instead of what they want or need."

It's not a question of who's correct and who's sincere-- both can be correct and both are sincere, but like Te vs Ti, Fe and Fi often misunderstand each other while trying to accomplish the exact same goal only with different methods.

Mirroring that on the Te/Fi side:


* *






*Te (1st):* Absorb, analyze, and utilize external information and data to objectively make decisions to achieve an end goal. Don't be swayed by subjectivity or bias.
*Fi (4th): *Take care of your own emotions and recognize that not all subjectivity is bad. Preferences, exceptions, etc. are inevitable-- including that of your own.

High Te users, just like high Ti users, don't trust emotions to make decisions but high Ti's distrust is more focused on external social rules and conduct (Fe) while Te's distrust is more focused on internal rules and conduct (Fi). 

High Ti resists and resents small talk, focus on appearance and presentation, catering to social events, etc (Fe) and all the social foreplay needed to build and maintain relationships until they develop their inferior Fe and understand communication and interaction facilitate that. 

*High Ti and low Fe learns, with time:* people and their societal constructs don't always make sense but they still matter.

High Te resists following illogical impulses like quitting a six-figure job that provides stability, growth, and fulfillment of professional goals to run away and become an actor or oil painter (Fi) until they develop their inferior Fi and understand personal fulfillment and needs are just as important as meeting objective standards of success, security, and progress.

*High Te and low Fi learns, with time: *I can check every box on my checklist on what I _need _to do in life (Te) but now it's time (and it's okay) to do what I _want _to do (Fi).


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## Psychopomp (Oct 3, 2012)

* *






eloquentmuse said:


> My best friend (INTP) and I (ENFP) have been discussing MBTI in detail as of late and have come to some revelations about Fi vs Fe to share. I'd also like to get your opinions and advice on it if possible.
> 
> It's common to hear that Fi's think Fe's come across as fake and vice versa. My INTP and I expressed how we perceive the other as 'fake' when greeting a new person for the first time. We drilled this down to Fi-users coming across as too intense, focussed and using the same approach each time (the way they'd want to be treated) and Fe-users coming across as too casual, distant and changing their approach each time (to fit the environment). I said *Fi came across as genuine* whereas *Fe came across as comfortable*. I wonder if you guys have found this too?
> 
> ...





I don't believe that this is true, no. 

It might be best to say that Fe simply seeks to entangle itself with the Object... where Fi seeks to do the opposite—to disentagle itself—when making value judgments of any sort. 

The Fe, in order to make value judgments, needs to co-exist with the Object, to keep it near, to interact with it as much as it can. The Fi, in order to do the same, instead seeks to ferret away whatever stimuli it has into itself, to cut the cords that strings of that data and to view it all in a principled 'void', where the Objects involved cannot interfere. 

First, I suspect quite strongly that Fe, in and of itself, is the INTENSE function when meeting people and that Fi is distintly NOT INTENSE. Jung himself more or less says this in Psychological Types. He says that the Fi will seem aloof/detached/introverted but pleasant so long as the Object does not try to exert itself too much on them in the realm of value. Fe, conversely is entirely willing to impose itself and to try to enmesh itself with the Object in whatever way it can. Fe types are thus very often seen as gossipy or busybodies or whatever... while Fi types are often seen as aloof or even apathetic. 

To your list:


> I (Fi-user) need to know how I feel at all times, how I relate to everyone and how they relate to me. It makes me feel stable. I feel extremely uncomfortable when I don't know how I feel about something.
> They (Fe-users) don't really know how they feel on the inside and if they do it takes them forever to figure it out. Therefore they absolutely hate being asked things like 'how're you' or 'what're you feeling' because they don't know and, furthermore, don't want to know.
> Fi is consistent, if I decide I like you then I will like you no matter. It's always there.
> Fe is inconsistent, it changes depending on their mood and environment etc. It waxes and wanes.
> ...


1. Uhm, yes and no. Introversion does indeed cause a warping of the Object, pushing it from the Self further into Other that can cause this sort of paranoia or neurosis or whatever you want to call it. Fe types, in particular dominant Fe types are so enmeshed with the Object that there is nothing monstrous about it to them, nothing alien or distant. The Object is rendered as-is and is not warped and thus this uncertainty might not exist. However, I wouldn't necessarily say this is Fi, just Introversion in general... but the fact that it occupies you does indeed hint that you are oriented toward Feeling. Still, I could see an Introverted Fe type (IxFJ) having similar feelings? In fact, I would more readily expect it in that case... as the Fi doesn't have the same NEED for enmeshment as the Fe. You see the paradox in the case of the Fe, where Fe supplies the need, and the feeling of being lost without that entanglement, but Introversion in general denies it and causes the warping of perception that undermines it.

2. Fe users do indeed know how they feel on the inside. They are perhaps the most strident about such feelings, especially when Fe is strong. They are the CRUSADERS and would probably benefit from LESS certainty in this regard. Their value judgments are based closely off the Object and seek intensely to reflect themselves back as immediately as possible. They can really make big mistakes here as they don't always have all the information before they pick up their pitchforks.. too influenced by stimulus and too willing to see their judgments reflect into the world. The Fe feels how the Object dictates it to feel. Asking the Fe-dom if they are fine is like asking "Are the things you care about fine?" If their family is good, or their community, or their Cause, or whatever, they they too are good. They have enmeshed themselves with it... made themselves a champion for and an avatar of it. 

3. Since Fi remains fairly free of excessive influence from the Object, I suppose this is indeed true. They won't change their value judgments without first internalizing and ruminating on the new information - usually at length and usually not objectively. 

4. I wouldn't say on their mood... at least not in a normal healthy person. That is to say, if it is their mood, it is not a function of Fe but of the unhealth of the individual. In its essence, Fe is simply in tune with the Object and is thus strongly influenced by it. It is thus more at-the-ready than Fi. It will adapt to stimuli in an objective and fluid way.

5. This is a function of Introversion in general, I'd say.

6. I see what you did there. But, no, I don't think that is particularly true. I am not sure how that is a feature of Fe. 

7. First of all, Fi/Fe is more about value judgment rather than emotion or mood. Mood and emotion aren't the same thing and the cognitive process by which one judges value is yet another thing... though they definitely all influence one another to a great degree. "Figure out why they feel" sounds like Thinking to me. Thus a Thinker wants to figure out why they feel, or, rather, Thinking itself wants to do that. Fi and Fe both often take strong cues from emotion to do their work, and I think it can be easily said that both WANT to feel... whereas Thinking often seeks to scour the influence of emotion, because unlike Feeling it is often undermined by it.


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## Daiz (Jan 4, 2017)

Peter said:


> Fe's morals change depending on who they´re with. That may make sense to Fe types, but to me, (INTJ, so Fi as third function and Te as second) that just means one thing: Not having morals.


Wat.

We totally have morals! We're just...quiet about them. For instance, I am very left-wing but around a right-wing person, I'll keep silent about my views and appear to agree with theirs. I do this to avoid confrontation. 

Honestly, I'm surprised to hear you say Fe users have no morals...since if I had to pick one that seemed less moral, I'd choose Fi!  Putting your own feelings before those of others seems to be something Fi is known for, and that has always seemed less moral to me (although far more sensible and understandable, tbh). But why on Earth do you think we have no morals? I'm intrigued.


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## goodthankyou (Mar 25, 2016)

Stevester said:


> Fe is definitely mistreated on forums like these I realize.


Try heading over to Reddit. There seems to be an overall anti-Fi sentiment there compared to here.

Why the hate on Fi?


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## Peter (Feb 27, 2010)

Daiz said:


> Wat.
> 
> We totally have morals! We're just...quiet about them. For instance, I am very left-wing but around a right-wing person, I'll keep silent about my views and appear to agree with theirs. I do this to avoid confrontation.
> 
> Honestly, I'm surprised to hear you say Fe users have no morals...since if I had to pick one that seemed less moral, I'd choose Fi!  Putting your own feelings before those of others seems to be something Fi is known for, and that has always seemed less moral to me (although far more sensible and understandable, tbh). But why on Earth do you think we have no morals? I'm intrigued.


Oh wauw, lost of misconceptions. Let me try to do the best I can to show you how I see things.

Every normal mentally healthy person has morals. So don't worry. I don't think Fe dominant means not heaving morals. But they come from a different place and are applied in a different way, depending on type.

In it's basic form, a moral is about right and wrong. Over time,through experience, Fi develops a model of morals which it applies. When applied, the decisions made are based on this model. A situation is compared to this model and then the decision is made. (Ti is like this too, but with things that are important to T.)

Fe makes decisions in a totally different way. It looks at the outside world. It considers the best solution to the situation. The situation usually being the welbeing of a person or a group. It does this by looking at the world outside and then applies the best solution to that situation. (Te is like this too, but with things that are important to T.)

That does not mean that Fe users have no morals. For example, your left-wing preferences aren't the result of your Fe. They are the result of a combination of factors like for example your experiences since you were born, your exposure to different views and your own reasoning. The individual cognitive functions describe how you reason, but they don't describe / predict what you believe in.

You said it yourself that you "appear to agree with theirs" and you do this to "avoid confrontation". This exact behaviour is why you seem to have no morals from an Fi point of view. The way I have experienced this Fe behaviour is by going to an event, meeting someone you know (ENFJ), so you walk up to him to start a conversation only to be ignored and avoided during the whole event. Which is very confusion to say the least.

Then the next time I meet this same person, I notice a new strange behaviour. He's way more nice than the usual. Which made me realize he knows he was wrong. Then I realize that there were a bunch of his friends at that event that I didn't know, and I think he wanted to keep things that way.

Then going back in time, before I learned about the MBTI, it made me understand a lot of things. These kind of things have happened before,... now I know why --->>> Fe.


At the same time I have to say, if you take Fi dominants like INFP's. They sure sometimes seem to care about their own little emotional world a lot more than about anyone else's. From my point of view, INFP's can become prissoners of their own moral logical loops sometimes. It's ugly, but it's not an Fi thing. It's the combination of Fi and Ne together that causes a difficult loop to get out of sometimes.

I hope that helped. No worries. I don't think you are a creature without morals. :smile:


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## MusiCago (Jan 3, 2017)

Peter said:


> You make a look like the atitude of F, i or e, isn't a game changer,...... but it is, a huge game changer. So much even that people with these 2 different functions won't get along all that well. Try to make an INTP and an ENFJ be happy with eachother.... not an easy thing.
> 
> Why do you believe that Fi can't be outspoken? Try disagreeing with an INFP who's convinced about something. That gets ugly. Disagreeing with an ENFP,... not ugly, but you won't get anywhere either. You just don't know it. :smile:
> 
> ...


Fi users aren't outspoken about their morals and values, that's because Fi is introverted. Fi types (especially Doms) hold fast to their values and will not impose them upon others, because they believe others have their own values as well. Fi types believe everyone is unique and special in their own way, and believe everyone has their own personal values just like themselves. Fi types will argue if you question their values, but will not purposely impose them on others like an Fe type would. As for Fe changing it's morals to suit others, we do this for a purpose. An unhealthy Fe type could compulsively change their morals for the sake of it depending on who their around and not get upset at anything because they want to get along with everyone (sort of like a really unhealthy ESFJ 9). However, to healthy Fe types, we have a purpose in changing our morals to suit the situation, typically for the greater good. There is logic behind Fe, which is Ti to help rationalize what is important for the Fe user. If my friends started all smoking crack for whatever the hell reason and they invited me in, of course I would say no; because it goes against my logic. You see, Ti can appear as Fi in a lot of circumstances, but the process behind this is what really makes the difference.


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## Peter (Feb 27, 2010)

MusiCago said:


> Fi users aren't outspoken about their morals and values, that's because Fi is introverted. Fi types (especially Doms) hold fast to their values and will not impose them upon others, because they believe others have their own values as well. Fi types believe everyone is unique and special in their own way, and believe everyone has their own personal values just like themselves. Fi types will argue if you question their values, but will not purposely impose them on others like an Fe type would. As for Fe changing it's morals to suit others, we do this for a purpose. An unhealthy Fe type could compulsively change their morals for the sake of it depending on who their around and not get upset at anything because they want to get along with everyone (sort of like a really unhealthy ESFJ 9). However, to healthy Fe types, we have a purpose in changing our morals to suit the situation, typically for the greater good. There is logic behind Fe, which is Ti to help rationalize what is important for the Fe user. If my friends started all smoking crack for whatever the hell reason and they invited me in, of course I would say no; because it goes against my logic. You see, Ti can appear as Fi in a lot of circumstances, but the process behind this is what really makes the difference.


Yes, the difference between Fi and Fe are huge. I get what you´re saying about Fe. It's not that different from Te and will addapt to the situation at hand. But Te doesn't deal with morality. And neither does Fe. So to expect moral judgements from Fe is wishful thinking. Like you said, your Ti somewhat acts like a moral compass. But obviously, it's not morals that it applies. It's rules that it applies. Rules for which you were conditioned while growing up (the word conditioned in this case should not be considered a negative thing, but just a normal way the brain develops while growing up.)

You would never smoke drugs, because it's a rule not to do that. But you don't feel it as a bad thing. I bet you can even empathize with your friends for their need to smoke weed and still say no to it when it comes down to smoking it yourself.


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## MusiCago (Jan 3, 2017)

Peter said:


> Yes, the difference between Fi and Fe are huge. I get what you´re saying about Fe. It's not that different from Te and will addapt to the situation at hand. But Te doesn't deal with morality. And neither does Fe. So to expect moral judgements from Fe is wishful thinking. Like you said, your Ti somewhat acts like a moral compass. But obviously, it's not morals that it applies. It's rules that it applies. Rules for which you were conditioned while growing up (the word conditioned in this case should not be considered a negative thing, but just a normal way the brain develops while growing up.)


Yes you are right on all of this. One thing I would like to add though is that Fe does have morality, it's in the way it works. All Fe users have a subconscious, yet strong use of Fi that isn't really valued on the conscious level (this is coming from Socionics theory), and it makes sense; I'll explain. So from a young age Fe types need to learn their morals from what their parents, elders, and peers teach them. Then on a daily basis Fe users are kinda shifting their morality to match the given situation, but some morals are subconsciously "absorbed" if you will, into Fi. These are what you could call _core_ values/morals; so an Fe user basically will have core values/morals that are more important than other morals, which is attributed to Fi in a sense. So unlike an Fi user, Fe sacrifices morals and values and beliefs to match a given situation on a daily basis, but there are some things that Fe users will not sacrifice (established by unconscious Fi). I wanted to add this to clarify any confusion about Fe morals compared to Fi values, because a lot of my family are high Fe users and we all have good "morality" I would say, it's just a different type of morals. That's why I attribute Fe to morality and Fi to values.



Peter said:


> You would never smoke drugs, because it's a rule not to do that. But you don't feel it as a bad thing. I bet you can even empathize with your friends for their need to smoke weed and still say no to it when it comes down to smoking it yourself.


You right  I guess I just believe when someone does these things it's because there is deeper pain they're trying to escape from, or they're a lost/broken soul.. I think this way because a lot of family has suffered from addiction and I learned from a very young age why people do these types of things. Thats a little personal, and not something I readily share with people in the real world, but I guess it's an INFJ thing where complete strangers might know more about us than close friends lol.


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## Varyafiriel (Sep 5, 2012)

I'm an INFJ and make make my own moral judgements every day. But unlike Fi-users, I'm very outspoken about them. For Fi-users, their values are something personal and every individual has it's unique values. They have more of a live-and-let-live attidude, while Fe-users are very outspoken about their morals (and values) and like to "change" the values of others or implement a specific moral as a kind of "general rule". I.e. I'm a vegetarian and like to talk about it and want to convince others that not eating is a morally right decision. Eating meat -for me- is not just a personal decision based in individual values, but it's something that should concern everyone. It's totally wrong to say Fe has nothing to do with moral judgements.


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## Wisteria (Apr 2, 2015)

Fi is not simply sincerity and being "true to the self" because everyone does this one way or another. Fe is more than just being aware of others feelings but not your own. The INFJ you describe actually seems more Fi to me, which I will explain.

An FJ strives for open and honest communication, believing that avoidant attitudes such as the silent treatment just make a problem worse. They are in tune with the emotional "flow" of their surrounding, and use expression to affect the feeling atmosphere (they extrovert feeling, quite literally). When you try to cheer someone up who is feeling down, you are using Fe. We all do it to an exten,the difference is FPs do not see this as a top priority despite realising it's value.

Fi is more intrapersonal. It's about measuring the subjective distance between people, deciding if you are drawn or repulsed by someone or something. They do express feeling and adhere to group values, but for the sake of creating closeness with others rather than the social I interactions of the group (fe). We all do this too, but again Fi types prefer to prioritise this over Fe.


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

alyara said:


> For Fi-users, their values are something personal and every individual has it's unique values. They have more of a live-and-let-live attidude,


I think this gets to the crux of the matter. It's easy to assume everyone else operates just like you. Perhaps not surprisingly, Fi-dominants are also perceiving types...

Ah, once again an INFJ explains better than I could how my own processes work! :laughing:


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

charlie.elliot said:


> To the OP, I agree with a lot this. I was in a relationship with an Fi dom for 4 years so I can definitely relate to the hard dynamic. I'm not sure I break it down the same way you did (but I found your post very interesting nonetheless).
> 
> The biggest difference between Fi and Fe, I think, is that Fi-doms just feel their emotions. That's it. They know they can't change how they feel. They don't try. And because of this they probably actually express what they feel without worrying about it too much. (Note the "too much" on the end. I know Fi doms may worry about this but not as much as Fe users I suspect).
> 
> ...


Hmm, I'm not sure there IS a "should" when it comes to feeling. They're like opinions: I might disagree with them, but who am I to tell you to change them? That's your own journey. Granted, there are times when things are going wrong, and I force myself to ask, "Why am I doing/saying/thinking this?" to try and step back to see how others see me. It isn't my first instinct, but something I've come to rely on as I get older.

I think there's a quiet "respect" between Fi types. If I know where someone stands, I won't push it. I also don't worry about things like lying about something important, since they tend to say what they mean. With Fe, I get a lot of "why" and pressure to explain and rationalize. I ask questions, too, but for the sake of gathering information, and not necessarily to do something with it at the moment.


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## Azazel (May 27, 2016)

Peter said:


> You would never smoke drugs, because it's a rule not to do that. But you don't feel it as a bad thing. I bet you can even empathize with your friends for their need to smoke weed and still say no to it when it comes down to smoking it yourself.


It's fine to specify that in this situations, Fi users have the highest likelihood to not to pursue the "incorrect" act and refrain completely from it because they're feeling it.
Fe users in a *wrong state* might swift the rule from not to smoke due to diplomatic purposes to be not only able but even pressured to smoke to the popular belief, let us remember that extroverted feeling is a rule follower, but not the defined rule follower but the social rule follower. There's a inner judgment behind it, it is complex and logical, but the superficial outcome may be seen as vague or scattered.


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