# How would you know if you have found a LGBT NT?



## Vexed (Jan 28, 2012)

Any outward things that make it apparent? Anything that one would do or say that makes it know or hint at their non-heterosexual inclination?


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## Whippit (Jun 15, 2012)

Vexed said:


> Any outward things that make it apparent?


If you spend enough time in the LGBT community, you'll quickly learn that you can't count on being able to tell anyone's sexual orientation based on their looks, or even their behaviors... unless of course the behavior is putting the moves on someone.


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## Vexed (Jan 28, 2012)

Whippit said:


> If you spend enough time in the LGBT community, you'll quickly learn that you can't count on being able to tell anyone's sexual orientation based on their looks, or even their behaviors... unless of course the behavior is putting the moves on someone.


Hence why I added the following sentences to not limit it to appearances, but conversation.


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## Whippit (Jun 15, 2012)

Vexed said:


> Hence why I added the following sentences to not limit it to appearances, but conversation.


I will append.. even conversation.


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

It was always the "E = MC[queered]" button that tipped me off.

Honestly, there are all types of gay, lesbian, bi, and transpeople out there, and they don't necessarily look different from het and cisgens. Type is a side factor to that; it's probably easier to recognize type vs preference/identity.

There is no secret handshake, no secret code word, no secret bar code on the scalp under your hair. Especially when (like with transpeople) it might even be in their best interest to be forward about something like that.


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## Vexed (Jan 28, 2012)

Whippit said:


> I will append.. even conversation.


 How soon?


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## knittigan (Sep 2, 2011)

For myself, I'm not likely to volunteer that information unless it's immediately pertinent, eg. if someone assumes that I'm heterosexual or says something homophobic, if we're discussing something pertaining to LGBTQ issues. 

In short, you're not likely to know something that personal that about me unless I decide to tell you.


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

Ask them about their natural receptiveness to pheromones. If they say, "What?" they're not an NT. If they say, "I'm gay," then they're a gay NT.


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## Jetsune Lobos (Apr 23, 2012)

As a single, gay male (who loves the outdoors and works out daily [just throwing that out there...]) I just advertise this sorta thing and see what I get. Nothing too flaunty, but I try to raise the question the best I can with as much tact as I can for any other single dudes currently looking.

i.e. I wore this LGBT Pride! winter hat that was sporting a pretty lengthy, multi-colored mohawk -- complete with rainbow wing-strings - every time I left the house. And out of season I just wear an "I Love Balls!" bracelet that seems to get the job done at the local B&L.

If they wanna be found, you'll find 'em.


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## Vexed (Jan 28, 2012)

Zippy BawBaw said:


> As a single, gay male (who loves the outdoors and works out daily [just throwing that out there...]) I just advertise this sorta thing and see what I get. Nothing too flaunty, but I try to raise the question the best I can with as much tact as I can for any other single dudes currently looking.
> 
> i.e. I wore this LGBT Pride! winter hat that was sporting a pretty lengthy, multi-colored mohawk -- complete with rainbow wing-strings - every time I left the house. And out of season I just wear an "I Love Balls!" bracelet that seems to get the job done at the local B&L.
> 
> If they wanna be found, you'll find 'em.


 And if they are in their batcaves?


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## Jetsune Lobos (Apr 23, 2012)

Vexed said:


> And if they are in their batcaves?


Well, then they're probably hanging out at places such as these...


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## KINGoftheAMAZONS (Jun 21, 2011)

If you're into queer women just start talking about the L word (the t.v show). A simple declaration of "_I hate Jenny_" or "_Bette is fucking hot_" should do the trick :wink:. Or you could casually bring up political issues that pertain to the LGBT community. Pay attention to how people react when you mention these things, and use this as a way to try to subtly learn more about their inclinations.


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## Vexed (Jan 28, 2012)

KINGoftheAMAZONS said:


> If you're into queer women


T
ak
e out the wo-


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## KINGoftheAMAZONS (Jun 21, 2011)

Vexed said:


> T
> ak
> e out the wo-


Haha well in that case, just go with the casual mentioning of LGBT political/social issues. Use your Ni while you're having these conversations. It has served me well in the past. I'm afraid the only way you'll know if an NT you're talking to is gay, is by taking the time to get to know him. Yes, you'll have to go the old fashioned route. I hope all goes well for you


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## Vexed (Jan 28, 2012)

KINGoftheAMAZONS said:


> Haha well in that case, just go with the casual mentioning of LGBT political/social issues. Use your Ni while you're having these conversations. It has served me well in the past. I'm afraid the only way you'll know if an NT you're talking to is gay, is by taking the time to get to know him. Yes, you'll have to go the old fashioned route. I hope all goes well for you


Topics have come up about LGBT but not about orientation.

Is there any signs of attraction, especially when there's hesitance in just outright asking since that would show interest in someone that way but not knowing if it's even compatable


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## KINGoftheAMAZONS (Jun 21, 2011)

Vexed said:


> Topics have come up about LGBT but not about orientation.


Then this is where you need to lead the conversation, sort of speak. In my own life, when a topic comes up about these kinds of things, I merely try to gauge the other person's reaction by asking something like "Can you imagine being attracted to someone of the same sex, and having to live in a world that labels you as a pervert because of it?". This is usually followed by me subtly declaring my sexuality, and then asking even more questions in an attempt to put the person I'm talking to inside of the shoes of a same-sex loving individual (I want them to empathize). 

After I say that I'm a lesbian and lead the conversation into this subject matter, people usually just start sounding off on their respective sexual orientations. Granted, most people tend to use the statement "I'm straight but...". However, there was still many times where I did get some people that said "I'm queer/bi/gay", or the ever infamous, "I'm just _me_". Just be genuinely interested in what they have to say, and make sure that your demeanor allows them to feel relaxed around you. I hope this makes sense. It did in my head...



> Is there any signs of attraction, especially when there's hesitance in just outright asking since that would show interest in someone that way but not knowing if it's even compatable


Well with women, the signs could be prolonged eye contact, double-takes, unusual touching and caressing, being slightly aggressive in their attempt to know everything about you, etc. I'm not sure if men are the same. I do know that when men hit on me, they are pretty much blunt about it. And the gay men I know are mostly upfront when they are attracted to someone as well. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help


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## Vexed (Jan 28, 2012)

You've been plenty of help!

I'm more or less scared of comin out to someone and having them assume me telling them means I am attracted to them (isn't always the case).


KINGoftheAMAZONS said:


> Then this is where you need to lead the conversation, sort of speak. In my own life, when a topic comes up about these kinds of things, I merely try to gauge the other person's reaction by asking something like "Can you imagine being attracted to someone of the same sex, and having to live in a world that labels you as a pervert because of it?". This is usually followed by me subtly declaring my sexuality, and then asking even more questions in an attempt to put the person I'm talking to inside of the shoes of a same-sex loving individual (I want them to empathize).
> 
> After I say that I'm a lesbian and lead the conversation into this subject matter, people usually just start sounding off on their respective sexual orientations. Granted, most people tend to use the statement "I'm straight but...". However, there was still many times where I did get some people that said "I'm queer/bi/gay", or the ever infamous, "I'm just _me_". Just be genuinely interested in what they have to say, and make sure that your demeanor allows them to feel relaxed around you. I hope this makes sense. It did in my head...
> 
> ...


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