# ISFJ or ESFJ



## TrueHeartMila (May 11, 2010)

I was introduced to the MBTI by a dear friend of mine...but I have had so much trouble distinguishing my type. First, I thought I was an idealist, but finally realized that I am a traditionalist. 

I have a lot of trouble telling the difference between introvert and extrovert. I think for some people it is easily to tell, but for me it isn't, or at least for myself. Friends of mine as well as fellow classmates all seem to think that I am introvert. The only reason I believe they say that though is because I am very shy. I do know that you can be a shy extro though.

I believe I am kind, harmonious, and sensitive to other people's feelings. I usually do not express how I feel and keep many things to myself. I only have a couple of close friends, but even then I won't reveal too much about myself to them. I get along very well with other SFJ's as well as intuitive feelers. Many people enjoy being in my company, but I tend to isolate myself, which causes me to lose friendships.I also tend to worry about what other people think of me.I enjoy helping other's and helping them realize their potential! I am stuyding psychology/sociology. I hope to get into counseling in the future. I also really enjoy interior decorating, but a friend suggested that I should get into fashion design. 


Can someone help me? Or perhaps help me distinguish the two types? Thank you..  I appreciate it very much...


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## Grey (Oct 10, 2009)

The basics of extroversion and introversion have to do with energy gain: would you say that you have sustained energy after spending a large amount of time with friends in an activity you enjoy, or would you find your energy wanes over time (more mental exhaustion than anything), even if you would like to continue? Another thing to consider is that xxFJs tend to seem very extroverted even if they are introverted, due to their feeling function being outwardly focused (Fe, if you have a knowledge of the functions), and not inwardly focused, as with xxFPs.


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## Cookie Monster (Nov 6, 2009)

Hi, I would say you are more introverted, but you could be on the borderline. Most introverts really like to have a few close friends rather than a ton of acquaintances. Introversion is not really about shyness...I actually do know several shy extroverts who desire to be around people so much, but have abandonment issues and are afraid of rejection.


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## HandiAce (Nov 27, 2009)

I would be annoyed having to deal with different people calling me all the time.


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## TrueHeartMila (May 11, 2010)

Grey said:


> The basics of extroversion and introversion have to do with energy gain: would you say that you have sustained energy after spending a large amount of time with friends in an activity you enjoy, or would you find your energy wanes over time (more mental exhaustion than anything), even if you would like to continue? Another thing to consider is that xxFJs tend to seem very extroverted even if they are introverted, due to their feeling function being outwardly focused (Fe, if you have a knowledge of the functions), and not inwardly focused, as with xxFPs.


 
Thank you for reply Grey! I would say that if I am around people they drain me.. I enjoy being by myself.. maybe too much hehe.. but I have heard that even extro's could be loners and not have very many friends...
I was considering what you said about extraverted feeling, so, that can be a possibility of why I am confused on both preferences...I am very friendly, I smile and laugh easily with others, so maybe to me that could seem like I am acting extro when infact I might be intro..
I have read both profile types over and over.. All in all, I think I can relate more to ISFJ...


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## Angel1412kaitou (Mar 30, 2010)

You sound very ISFJ, and seem introverted by your description. However, you could be a shy extrovert too, I dunno. Maybe INFP by a random chance?


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## TrueHeartMila (May 11, 2010)

Thank you for your input Angel! )) I think it is kind of difficult for me to tell because I am very shy and have anxiety disorders, so, yes, I could possibly be a shy extro..
ehehe INFP! Awww that is my favorite type! I think you are all so kind and understanding.. I feel very connected to INFP's..


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## Peanut Brittle (Dec 6, 2009)

TrueHeartMila said:


> Thank you for your input Angel! )) I think it is kind of difficult for me to tell because I am very shy and have anxiety disorders, so, yes, I could possibly be a shy extro..
> ehehe INFP! Awww that is my favorite type! I think you are all so kind and understanding.. I feel very connected to INFP's..


ISFJ is my favorite type! I really feel most natural with ISFJs. I also really feel I can give back a lot of advice and myself to help the ISFJ out, as they have the uncanny ability to make me feel at home. roud:

Anyways you do sound very ISFJ. I do know shy ESFJs but they tend to blend into crowds nevertheless and find many acquaintances. ISFJs are more prone to a few really good friends. Also, ESFJs tend to hang with people similar to them, particularly those more extraverted. ISFJs seem to have a pattern of finding more diverse people to spend time with, and enjoy the meaningful conversations that help them understand these new people. ESFJs seem more self-assured while ISFJs seem more insecure...in the end, it's about where your energy is directed.


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## monsterravingloony (May 24, 2010)

Quite clearly an ISFJ. An ESFJ doesn't keep her feelings to herself so much.


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## JTG1984 (May 25, 2010)

You seem very ISFJ to me as well.


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## firedell (Aug 5, 2009)

ESFJ hosts the party, ISFJ enjoys going to the party.


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## JTG1984 (May 25, 2010)

ISFJ thinks before they speak, ESFJ does not.


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## danicx (Dec 5, 2009)

You're right that lots of extroverts can seem introverted, but with E/ISFJ's it tends to be somewhat more obvious. Think about what makes you happiest, or the times in your life when you have the most energy and you love what you're doing. Does it involve actively seeing lots of friends and being busy with your social life? This isn't an extrovert vs. introvert question, I'm thinking specifically of SFJ types. ESFJ's are very socially oriented. They can be very sensitive and removed when they're sad (they're hurt by rejection), but they still would like to have a close friend to quietly spend time with them and talk about things with. ISFJ's, when they're sad, can retreat completely and need to turn to something else such as a personal hobby to heal themselves. They love people (especially family) and some ISFJ's might have a lot of friends, but all the ISFJ's I've known need to be given a lot of space on a regular basis or else they become stressed and irritable.


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## adeline (Jun 11, 2012)

hey! im a shy extrovert. i have social anxiety , i NV ever like staying at home, so being so extroverted and having this anxiety makes me suffer like mad. sometimes i can be so responsive and loud, other times i 'freeze' and cant even smile. 

basically if u feel very happy being alone then ure an introvert. for me i really have this adrenaline rush when theres an event going on hehe.


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## Gossip Goat (Nov 19, 2013)

TrueHeartMila said:


> I was introduced to the MBTI by a dear friend of mine...but I have had so much trouble distinguishing my type. First, I thought I was an idealist, but finally realized that I am a traditionalist.
> 
> I have a lot of trouble telling the difference between introvert and extrovert. I think for some people it is easily to tell, but for me it isn't, or at least for myself. Friends of mine as well as fellow classmates all seem to think that I am introvert. The only reason I believe they say that though is because I am very shy. I do know that you can be a shy extro though.
> 
> ...


are you my soul mate? you just described how I am too, like everything. Literally everything.


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