# Int/fj?



## birdsintrees (Aug 20, 2012)

*1. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.*
- 30 y/o female. Current state of mind: relaxed, at work and taking my sweet time writing this. I am in a phase of life where things are calming down. I live in a place where I really only know my partner. My closest friends and my family live a few continents away from me. I'm in a good place in life. Few minor annoyances but nothing that really influences my day to day life.
*
2. Study these two images here and here. Which one do you prefer and why? How would you describe it?*
picture one: Aurora Borealis or Aurora Australis. Probably the first. Awesome sunset on a beach. Definitely prefer this one over the other because of the atmosphere it generates. It generates a sense of tranquility and unity. I'm a big fan of nature.

The other picture is simply a lady eating a croissant. I guess I do like her dress.

*3. Please describe yourself as a person if you were to introduce yourself to someone else like in a cover letter. What kind of person are you and why?
*I suck at writing these things.. So I will stick to the basics. I am an introvert: I very much enjoy being by myself or being around my partner and don't often feel the need to socialize. I am a daydreamer: I enjoy being able to drift off in my thoughts and not having to interact with people on a daily basis. At work I am the quiet type with earphones in. I suck at small talk and am generally awkward when I can't 'prepare' for the interaction. This is different for interactions where I can talk about a fact that I know about or in any case something that doesn't involve having to share my own opinion on something. I have a tiny inner circle: to those people I am warm and affectionate and I am able to share my silly and caring side with them. I am loyal and stick to my promises. I can be quite sarcastic, it's my preferred sense of humour and I love hanging out with people that can appreciate sarcasm. 

*4. What kind of person would you LIKE to be? Why? What kind of person would you NOT want to be? Why?*
If anything I would like to be a bit more assertive. I dislike conflicts and confrontation and avoid them at the cost of my own succes. 
I would not like to be clingy and needy and boastful and overbearing. Because if I would be aware of that in the case that I were like that, I'd be pretty embarassed about myself. I don't like people who have these personality traits.

*5. Do you think there are any differences to how you described yourself and how people actually perceive you? How do you think others would describe you? If there are any discrepancies between these two that are you are aware of; do you know why exactly that is?*
- Yeah I'm not too sure how people perceive me, I don't pay enough attention to it to be aware
- Others that are part of my inner circle: would describe the warm side of me
- Others that are not part of my inner circle: would describe the aloof, objective side of me

*6. What in life do you find to be of importance? Why? If you are unsure you can always take the Value Test and post the results here. Do note that it helps if you narrow it down to 20 or ideally 10 values as suggested at stage *
- My home life is important to me. That is my primary focus in life and I will never sacrifice happiness at home for a career.
- I believe in the principle of Karma and what goes around comes around. If you do good, you will meet good. If you do the wrong thing, you'll pay for it at some point.
- I strongly believe in individualism: I should never be able to tell you what to do or what to think and you certainly won't ever tell me what to do or think.
- Respect for your environment: I hate it when people litter streets or nature or kill animals just for the sake of killing an animal. 
- If you're going to do something, commit to it and put some effort in it. Or just fess up that you don't want to do it.

*7. How do you react to new situations in your life? Can you describe an event in your life where you were in an unknown situation? How did you deal with it?*
- A little less than a year ago me and my partner migrated to the other side of the planet to a place where neither of us had lived before (his native country but far far away still from the place he calls home) and it's been stressful. I enjoy having a (rather large) degree of control over my circumstances and things haven't always gone as planned in the last 8 months. I don't necessarily find the newness of a situation stressful but I do need control: I need to be able to control the outcome of the situation. So before we arrived here I had job interviews lined up and had thoroughly researched the housing market etc. etc. 
*
8. Please describe yourself when you are in a stressful situation. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.*
A bit over a year ago I had a break down that was stress related. To the point where I didn't sleep anymore and suffered a couple of public panic attacks. Can't recommend it. This was caused by a strainuous job that was a long drive away every day where I was constantly put in an extrovert position. My relationship wasn't functioning properly, some childhood demons showed up and I felt responsible for the entire world to keep turning. As I didn't deal with the early signs properly it came to an outburst in which I made the executive decision that my relationship was over and threw out my partner. I fled into finding online comfort with an ex and started planning my new life (to the point where I was shopping for a new appartment and was thinking about the type of furniture it should have) I completely and totally disconnected from any form of love I felt for my partner. This is an extreme example of stress. 

Daily stress drives me to want to control things: money stress? > check bank account daily and create step-by-step plans on how to keep ahead of any problems.

*9. Please describe yourself when you are in an enjoyable situation. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.
*I very much enjoy being at home with my partner. Just us, sitting on the balcony. Chatting a bit or doing our own thing (which for him includes pulling apart a fishing reel and for me reading a book or reading my news websites or looking at what the birds are doing)


*10. Describe your relationship to socialization. How do you perceive one-on-one interaction? How do you perceive group interaction?
*One on one: depends who I'm with. When I'm with my partner or a close friend or family member I will be relaxed and at ease. I will enjoy talking about topics that interest me. I enjoy a good political debate and I enjoy sharing views on current affairs. It doesn't cost me too much energy. When interacting one on one with someone I don't know so well I have to really make an effort to keep the conversation going and tend to present myself more extroverted than I am which means that I don't really talk about topics that I have a strong opinion on but instead keep it very much on the surface.

Group interactions:
I actually dont' mind 'em as long as the situation allows me to slip into the background and observe the interaction between the members of the group. If I'm forced to participate I'll find it very difficult to establish my position in the group and to get in the group synergy. 

*11. Describe your relationship to society. What are the elements of it you hold important or unimportant (e.g. social norms, values, customs, traditions)? How do you see people as a whole?
*I want the freedom to be my own person and live my life as I see fit on the premiss that I don't harm any other person because of it. And because of that I believe my neighbour has that exact same right. I believe in a set of basic human rights that include freedom of speech, freedom of love, freedom of thought, freedom of religious beliefs and autonomy of the body. 

People as a whole.. hm. Although I believe that the individual is essentially good, I don't have much faith in how we act as the entity of humanity. We are self destructive and destroy our habitat. We are aware of that and don't do anything about that. ... that's pretty sad.

*12. Describe your relationship to authority. How do you perceive authority? What does it mean to you, and how do you deal with it?
*lol.
It's not so much that I challenge authority, it's more that I am just not bothered much by authority. I'll respect the rules in general because I dislike having to get into conflict but I will bend and break rules so as long as I can fly under the radar and do my own thing. I don't believe that anyhuman being is any better or worse than me in the basics and I guess that makes it difficult for me to truly respect authority. Only following authority when you agree with the decision isn't respect for authority imo. I respect intelligence. I can't accept authority from someone whom I consider to be less intelligent. Sure, I'll smile and nod but I'll do it my own (imo better) way regardless. I have left jobs for this reason.

Teachers never really liked me. 

*13. Describe your relationship to order and chaos. What do order and chaos mean to you? How do they manifest in your daily life? 
*Chaos is just another pattern that appears random at first sight and maybe at second sight. I enjoy order in the sense that I like to feel in control over my circumstances and daily routine. I like order on my desk at work and to some degree at home. I like order when it comes to finding the most efficient way to deal with my time and activities. 

But order as a pattern can get very boring and predictable. I like the complexity of chaos.

*14. What is it that you fear in life? Why? How does this fear manifest to you both in how you think and how you act?
*- One of my fears would be to have no control over my circumstances. I'm being repetitive here but that's what the smaller fears come down to. It would stress me out when I feel that I can still exert some sort of control over it and I would become defeated when I really see no end in sight. 


*15. What is it that you desire in life? What do you strive to achieve? Why? Where do you think these drives and desires stem from or are inspired by?
*- I desire freedom. I want to be able to mentally, physically and emotionally have the space to be myself outside of the scrutiny of others. (living on the other side of the planet from my family might be related somehow..) I basically want people to leave me alone except for my partner. I want to have the freedom to disconnect and not having to bother so much with other people. I want to achieve being completely centered.

- I believe this comes from a love/hate relationship I have with caring about other people. From a very early age on I have been made responsible for the well being of other people. And that translated into a sense of guilt that I wasn't able to save everyone and I wasn't able to make it better. I don't like getting involved with people to a degree where this sense of responsibility is activated again. 

*16. a) What activities energize you most? b) What activities drain you most? Why?
*Energize: relaxing at home or going to the gym. Why: I don't have to interact
Drain: Parties, work functions. Why: I can't relax around other people and will spend a lot of energy to keep up appearances.

*17. Why do you want to know your type? What type do you think you are? Why this/these type(s)? Is there a type that appeals to you, to your self-perception, that you would like to be? Why? If you know your **enneagram**, please post this here. If you have done any online function tests such as the **Keys2Cognition**, it helps if you post these results here as well.
*I have always typed as an INFJ with a stronger Fi than Fe and lately I have become more and more sceptic about my use of Fe. Especially in my current situation, being away from my comfortable few friends I have started realising that I really hardly make use of it outside these five people. Also when I look at INFJ's here on the sub forum I feel unable to relate to the emotional side of many. I have looked into enneagram and after plenty of testing and by elimination I am leaning towards a 5w4 and possibly a type 9 in the tritype. 


Edit: Also, I feel so much less F than the other F's in my life (both Fi and Fe).

I'd rather not post my cognitive test results here: they are all over the place with the only consistency being a very dominant Ni and a negative result on Se. 

I am a bit stuck on deciding my type and feel like I'm going in circles. I'd appreciate external input from people who can give me some more insights to consider in the big picture.

*18. Finally, is there something else you find to be of importance you want to add about yourself you think might be of relevance when helping to type you?
*Ehm. .... I bake a mean red velvet cake?


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## Ellis Bell (Mar 16, 2012)

Yeah, the tests are kind of shite... I score highly on Ni, but that's because of how they're worded.

You might be going through one of those loop things. I'm not tally convinced of the loop theory. I'm not totally sure about INFJ, either. I have an idea, though, but it's half baked. how are you with Te? Is there a love-hate relationship? Can you identify or misidentify with it at all? how about Fi? Can you elaborate?

Random question: do you ever find that you're a little... too reliant on your partner sometimes? I mean, you're nearly alone in a strange place, it's natural that you might come to rely on him a little more than you might otherwise. You mention him constantly, that's why.


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## birdsintrees (Aug 20, 2012)

To answer your random question first: My partner is the only person I interact with on a daily basis. That doesn't automatically lead to (co-)dependency. We do our own thing but he's the only reference point I have in my current situation. Which doesn't really bother me. We rely on eachother as much as we did when we lived closer to friends and family. Only now we don't have to deal with so much external pressure to socialize. Needless to pointout that he's an introvert as much as I am.

I'll have to read some more into Te to really say something meaningful about that. I have spent most of my time focussing on the Fi/Fe difference. And Fi has always been stronger. Fe has been that annoying habit to feel obliged to be polite. I must admit that I've always operated on the prejudice that poor ability in beta subjects = not aux Te. 

I disagree with the possibility of a Ni-Ti loop: I actually feel relieved that I don't have to worry about Fe anymore. Ni-Ti loop is generally a negative death spiral. I am certainly not in a negative death spiral.


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## NighTi (Jan 1, 2013)

Usually, I take my time but I'll jump to a conclusion here: INFP. You're definitely not an Ni dominant. Your response to the pictures was far too tame and looks like Si to me. Your impulsiveness has the character of auxiliary Ne. Most of all, your independence and sensitivity reflect strong Fi.

As further evidence, inferior Te emerged under stress as a focus on logistics (apartments and furniture)

FiNeSiTe = INFP


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## birdsintrees (Aug 20, 2012)

lol. I am not an INFP. Not by a long shot. I am not questioning my dominant Ni and do not consider this to be under scrutiny here. I appreciate the input but I am not an F dom. Certainly not a Fi dom. It's been researched before and dismissed on a complete lack of identification with the INFP subtype. 

Ni dom / Se inferior is the one stable factor in my entire functional stack. 

What I am wondering, if made insufficiently clear in the posts above, is if my current situation has lifted the Fe-'guilt' off my T preference as I am now experiencing less and less external pressure to conform. Or, if I am simply developing my Ti more given the life stage that I am in. 

lol. INFP. No offense but.. really?


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## NighTi (Jan 1, 2013)

@Ava82, you know yourself best, of course. I don't see it.


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## birdsintrees (Aug 20, 2012)

ok and given that you've known me for all of 2 posts I don't really need the approval for me knowing that I am Ni over Fi by approximately 30 lightyears.

[Edit - add] As for your suggestion of Si: again.. Ni dominant has been clear since the first time I took an MBTI test (self tested and tested at work) I appreciate the fact that you shared your opinion but it's not based on any solid information provided in this post. I deliberately didn't spend a whole lot of time on this question as it is not the focus of my request for input. 

If you'd have any input on the original question, Fe-Ti or Te-Fi, it would be welcomed.


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