# Do you find it easy to make friends? How many close friends do you have?



## MaggieMay (Dec 27, 2014)

*Title says it all.

I ask because I find it very difficult not to simply "make friends" but to find people I actually like. As horrible as that sounds I take friendship seriously so I have to find someone I would fight for, in a sense, someone worth the pain that may ensue down the road.

When I meet strangers, online or reality, I feel like a rambling idiot. Sometimes I'm too quiet. I'm on the fence most of the time, I have to figure them out before I let them in. I get secretly get attached to these friendships because they end up meaning a lot to me where I can focus on nurturing the few I keep. I don't feel very genuine if I have several friends, almost as if they stretch me too thin because I pour into them trying to assist in whatever ways I can. **

My best friend (and only friend) is an ISFJ (although I suspect borderline ISTJ) and I love her. She gets me. 
We have invested a lot into our friendship and she feels the same way about what friendship means. She knows that I am both serious and reserved with others yet crazy and dorky and silly with her. We appreciate each other for our minds and hearts. It's the kind of friendship where you just can't ever doubt it's loyalty or endurance. She's my person. 

So, that leads me to wonder if any of you take your friendships to a more intimate level where you know nearly everything about the person and invest your time into said person and that's when it becomes a true friendship for you instead of simply someone you know and hang out with. Does that make sense? 

Late night thoughts. 
Let me know what you think & please answer:

Do you find it easy to make friends and let people in?
How many close friends would you say you have?

Thank you! *


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## C47 (Sep 30, 2014)

i can relate to your post.

it's easy for me to make acquaintances, but to have close, intimate friends? no, not easy at all.

i'm very picky when it comes to choosing who i can give all my efforts and love to. this is mostly due to trust issues, but... i just don't have the time and energy to waste it on people who i can already see myself separating paths with in the future. i mean, i _do_ believe that forming bonds with all sorts of people is important, but if i don't feel that "click", i can already tell there won't be much interaction between us. we'll probably be networking partners at most. 

i only have two close friends right now. one of them is my partner, and the other one i don't speak to for several months at a time (yet even so, when we do get the chance to catch up, it feels like not a moment's passed by. she feels very comfortable and safe).


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## MaggieMay (Dec 27, 2014)

Yes, yes & more yes! 
I'm glad someone gets it. 
I too, believe that some friendships are only meant to last a season but the time & energy at stake just doesn't make it worth the effort in my eyes. I can have people in my life I consider friends but it never goes beyond surface level. 

My partner is extremely quiet and my best friend I only see every month or so but it's the same for me as well.
Thank you for replying, I appreciate your thoughts!


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## Marvin the Dendroid (Sep 10, 2015)

This did bother me a bit in my teens, but over the years, I've realised I do best with just one close connection (currently my SO). Whenever I feel I need more, I'll reach out in some way and "pull" people into my life. There are so many ways; at one point, I hosted couchsurfers... However I rarely maintain these connections once I no longer feel the need to be social. Some may linger on for a while through an IM or e-mail, but most disappear relatively quickly. I'm very self-absorbed and my internal universe keeps me too busy to have energy for more than one Very Important Person and periodically a few less close connections.

I would like to have a small number (2-4) of cognitively highly compatible friends, but I've realised such minds are exceedingly rare and generally not found where I like to be. 

I tend not to become attached to people so it doesn't bother me much if there are none, unless I happen to be in a social mood - in which case I'll "manifest" just enough of them.


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## Marvin the Dendroid (Sep 10, 2015)

.


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## Carpentet810 (Nov 17, 2013)

No, minimal standards get in the way.


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## Weiss (Aug 1, 2013)

Me too. It's hard to find people that you would call familiar. Maybe I ask for too much? But I only ask for things that I would be willing to do for MY friends. Be caring, listen, be considerate, be trustworthy and others.

Thing is though, people are different. They go through different things, have different reactions, have different emotional levels and have different ideas of being caring, being considerate, etc. 

Our friend is upset and we're supposed to listen to them and make them feel better right? We can at least try and show them that we care. But perhaps the way they handle situations makes them express themselves in a way we can't handle. It's too intense. It drives us away from the friend and we don't end up caring the way our friend expects us to. Or maybe we don't KNOW what exactly to do in a certain situation. And in that case, again we don't give care in the way that is required. Does that mean we're bad friends? 

A lot of things come into play. We all might be doing the same thing, just in different ways. So in the end, what it comes down to I guess is emotion and openness. Specifically appreciation. Any relationship is a two way street. I'll be as open as I can with anyone and whether or not they appreciate it is up to them. I can only do my part. And the same with on the other end. This I think decides or shows compatibility.

One thing I've noticed is that we aren't open enough to each other. We have defenses and walls and I get it. There ARE useless people in the world. People that can't make people want to be friends with them and make lasting relationships because they're too into themselves and it harms others. We've been hurt enough by such people to learn we need walls, but how much? How thick? Because sometimes too many walls makes it hard for a person to really see how you feel or see how you "actually" are and as far as I know, seeing you feel something is something people want from each other. 

But y'know, sometimes we only THINK we're dealing with these useless kinds of people when we have our walls built. Maybe they weren't when they "hurt" us. Maybe it was a misunderstanding. We should take more time into giving people a chance, just to verify, just to know that a particular person isn't a jackass. To identify what this person is: someone that's awright, but I can't be friends with, someone I can't be friends with because they're a sack of trash, someone I CAN be friends with etc. But that part, giving someone a chance, it will require patience and consciousness. Knowing what you're doing and watching your behavior while knowing this person MAY not be the right person to put your hope into or give your heart to, just in case it turns out to be that you're right.

Another thing I've noticed is we're not giving as much as we could. Being nice to each other as much as we could, being caring etc. And again, I get it. It's energy perhaps, and most of time is, destined to be wasted on people that don't appreciate what we do or maybe they don't recognize it as what we'd hope them to recognize it as. But if we all stop giving, who will give us what WE need? Being the change you want to see in the world I guess.

In conclusion, a number of things need to change which I've listed, but in order to actually DO these things, we have to focus on self improvement. Our parents asked us this before: so if Peter and Lisa jump off a bridge, are you going to do it too? We have to be better than these people we are so scared of and been hurt by AND we have to be strong enough to handle having to DEAL with these sort of individuals. Avoid them if you've identified one. As much as you can. I'm not saying put yourself in room with them on your own, no, but you SHOULD be strong enough and be able to deal with them for a certain amount of time if need be.


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

People have a hard time understanding me so it's difficult for people to get to know me before I get too frustrated explaining who I am. Some people get it (they are rare) and others just ask so many questions and make me just want to not be around them. I'm also looking for highly motivated people to be deep friends with. Any other friends I make are problems for me so I try to rarely talk to them. 

Right now my close friends are my mom (INFP), my best friend (INTP), my other best friend (INFJ), my brother (ISTJ), and a friend I made who doesn't talk to my anymore  (INFP). These people I consider real friends because I can spend time around them always without feeling bad, bored, or drained. Everyone else I try to be respectful toward but if they get in my way I have no problem letting them know.


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## ObservantFool (Apr 1, 2015)

The type of relationships you're describing are also the ones I prefer, but in my experience, it has been difficult to find people who want that same emotional connection, who like/accept me, and who are willing to invest in me without demanding too much too quickly. Other than that, my own standards are not very specific--I am interested in many types of people (actually, I have a stronger desire to understand the inner workings of people I'm fond of so that I can support and uplift them, than a desire to reveal things about myself), but people are sometimes so impatient and dependent on me to constantly provide _them _with a certain feeling or experience that they just move on when I want to continue to cultivate our _bond_ over time, so when I sense that flightiness and self-centeredness in other people, I shut down because I don't want to waste my energy on them. It hasn't been easy for me to make friends at all, yet I have two intimate friendships in my life, which I am extremely grateful for. My friendship fantasy has always been to be part of a small, tight-knit group of people who are able to be independent as well. I don't want to feel like we're attached at the hip and have to be "deep" all the time, but there has to be some degree of vulnerability, stability, and a lack of ego-centricism.


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## ScientiaOmnisEst (Oct 2, 2013)

Nopity nope. For a number of reasons.

I seem rather torn between wanting and not wanting friends. On one hand, there's a part of me that gets lonely, that wishes I could interact well with real people instead of just online. I fantasize now and then about being social, having an actual personality and being engaging and enjoying the company of others from time to time.

On the other hand, I'm so used to having loads of time to myself that a social life sounds...draining. As does maintaining friendships (something I've never been able to do). I'm not really used to making time for others like that, selfish as it sounds. It almost doesn't seem worth it. 

I say I want friends, yet my go-to method of being around people is to only interact as needed. At work and school I've always followed the method of "Go in, work as necessary, talk to no one unless it has a reason, leave." Anything else feels like a resource-sapping intrusion. I honestly don't know whether I "truly" want to figure out the social life thing or just be solitary forever. Especially because I often am quite content to be around people without interacting - I find it's actually kind of necessary for my psychological well-being.

No, I don't know what the problem is. Yes, I realize I seem to want two totally different things.


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

Geveerda said:


> The type of relationships you're describing are also the ones I prefer, but in my experience, it has been difficult to find people who want that same emotional connection, who like/accept me, and who are willing to invest in me without demanding too much too quickly. Other than that, my own standards are not very specific--I am interested in many types of people (actually, I have a stronger desire to understand the inner workings of people I'm fond of so that I can support and uplift them, than a desire to reveal things about myself), but people are sometimes so impatient and dependent on me to constantly provide _them _with a certain feeling or experience that they just move on when I want to continue to cultivate our _bond_ over time, so when I sense that flightiness and self-centeredness in other people, I shut down because I don't want to waste my energy on them. It hasn't been easy for me to make friends at all, yet I have two intimate friendships in my life, which I am extremely grateful for. My friendship fantasy has always been to be part of a small, tight-knit group of people who are able to be independent as well. I don't want to feel like we're attached at the hip and have to be "deep" all the time, but there has to be some degree of vulnerability, stability, and a lack of ego-centricism.


I knew you were a 6 dom just reading this post.  Btw it's not self-centeredness when people are like that - they are just looking for people to connect with in a different way is all. They're not looking for somebody to give them a certain experience, they're looking for someone to share a certain experience or feeling. It's about sharing with these people. If someone isn't interested in sharing what they want to share then to them there is no room to connect/bond.


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## ObservantFool (Apr 1, 2015)

Stelliferous said:


> I knew you were a 6 dom just reading this post.  Btw it's not self-centeredness when people are like that - they are just looking for people to connect with in a different way is all. They're not looking for somebody to give them a certain experience, they're looking for someone to share a certain experience or feeling. It's about sharing with these people. If someone isn't interested in sharing what they want to share then to them there is no room to connect/bond.


I still think it's seeking validation of one's own views and feelings, rather than an attempt to understand and relate to different kinds of people and perspectives, so to me it's a self-centered, narrow form of bonding.


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

Geveerda said:


> I still think it's seeking validation of one's own views and feelings, rather than an attempt to understand and relate to different kinds of people and perspectives, so to me it's a self-centered, narrow form of bonding.


One can say it's narrow bonding to seek the broader variety of people as well, limiting the experiences. :/ There's narrowness in every relationship in some fashion, focusing on that only leads to a lack of focus on what is meaningful in the different types of relationships.


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## ObservantFool (Apr 1, 2015)

Stelliferous said:


> One can say it's narrow bonding to seek the broader variety of people as well, limiting the experiences. :/ There's narrowness in every relationship in some fashion, focusing on that only leads to a lack of focus on what is meaningful in the different types of relationships.


You could say that. I wouldn't say that because I personally do not feel it is limiting to me. My post was not meant to challenge anyone else's preferences. That's just how I perceive them and how it affects me when trying to build relationships.


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## stiletto (Oct 26, 2013)

Easy to make friends? Yes.

Easy to form and maintain friendships with a deeper emotional and intellectual connection? No.


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## The Hammer (Aug 24, 2015)

1- I find I can be regular friends with anybody I want, the question is whether I want to and how much freedom I get in it (hence why I don't stay friends with needy people). 

2- I have two close friends only. I don't let many people in.


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## snowbell (Apr 2, 2012)

I'm another who finds it hard to become friends with people. I think part of it is that I also tend to have high standards for the term - I feel like a friend is, simply, someone you can count on when the chips are down and I've found that often people are happy to have you there for them, but won't be willing to do the same, for whatever reason. 

I mean, sure it's easy to find acquaintances and they come by pretty easily, but they also go by easily. I'd prefer to spend my time with a few people if it means I am safe around them and the relationship has a track record of stability.



Weiss said:


> Me too. It's hard to find people that you would call familiar. Maybe I ask for too much? But I only ask for things that I would be willing to do for MY friends. Be caring, listen, be considerate, be trustworthy and others.
> 
> Thing is though, people are different. They go through different things, have different reactions, have different emotional levels and have different ideas of being caring, being considerate, etc.
> 
> ...


Thanks for this post. There's a lot of wisdom in here. Going to put it in my journal.


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## MaggieMay (Dec 27, 2014)

snowbell said:


> I'm another who finds it hard to become friends with people. I think part of it is that I also tend to have high standards for the term - I feel like a friend is, simply, someone you can count on when the chips are down and I've found that often people are happy to have you there for them, but won't be willing to do the same, for whatever reason.
> 
> I mean, sure it's easy to find acquaintances and they come by pretty easily, but they also go by easily. I'd prefer to spend my time with a few people if it means I am safe around them and the relationship has a track record of stability.
> 
> Thanks for this post. There's a lot of wisdom in here. Going to put it in my journal.


I relate to this. Most of my "friendships" are all give-give and superficial. The support is not reciprocated and they only come to me when they need something or advice. I have nearly given up on having someone I can count on no matter what. 

Sucks.


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## snowbell (Apr 2, 2012)

MaggieMay said:


> I relate to this. Most of my "friendships" are all give-give and superficial. The support is not reciprocated and they only come to me when they need something or advice. I have nearly given up on having someone I can count on no matter what.
> 
> Sucks.


Yeah it is really frustrating. The thing is - there are people out there, but finding them is quite a long and arduous task... I guess if you find one it makes you appreciate them more, though, but I do with there was an easier and more helpful answer to the whole thing.


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## MaggieMay (Dec 27, 2014)

snowbell said:


> Yeah it is really frustrating. The thing is - there are people out there, but finding them is quite a long and arduous task... I guess if you find one it makes you appreciate them more, though, but I do with there was an easier and more helpful answer to the whole thing.


Agreed, it is quite daunting at times to find someone who believes in friendship and loyalty and is willing to return your sentiments. I would say it does, I have one friend and I, unfortunately, live a state away but I know I can call her and she'd come running in a heartbeat. 

I wish us both luck in our future endeavors, regarding friendship.


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## Elspeth (Jan 24, 2013)

Ditto. I make what I would call "acquaintances" quite easily. But CLOSE friends? As in people I TRUST and would tell anything to? I have only one.


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## Karolina (Sep 30, 2015)

I'm used to spending most of my time alone. I'm sure it's difficult for me to make friends, but I haven't tried for years. I just have my SO and my family. Thinking of it, I no longer know how to do so.


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## 1000BugsNightSky (May 8, 2014)

PerC tells me i have 30 friends. Thank you friends, for being my friends.


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## Gossip Goat (Nov 19, 2013)

Do you find it easy to make friends and let people in?

No, I almost never feel a connection with someone, and I think its mutual. People don't connect with me either. But once it happens I let them in, I'm generally an open book.

How many close friends would you say you have?
I have about 6, haven't been in contact with like 4 of them but it's one of those relationships (I hope) where you can rekindle things when you get the chance to hang out.

I'm only reallllllly close with my best friend.


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## sereneone (Aug 1, 2013)

MaggieMay said:


> *Title says it all.
> 
> I ask because I find it very difficult not to simply "make friends" but to find people I actually like. As horrible as that sounds I take friendship seriously so I have to find someone I would fight for, in a sense, someone worth the pain that may ensue down the road.
> 
> When I meet strangers, online or reality, I feel like a rambling idiot. Sometimes I'm too quiet. I'm on the fence most of the time, I have to figure them out before I let them in. I get secretly get attached to these friendships because they end up meaning a lot to me where I can focus on nurturing the few I keep. I don't feel very genuine if I have several friends, almost as if they stretch me too thin because I pour into them trying to assist in whatever ways I can. *


INTJ and INFJ people are very similar and very particular. They like like logic and thoughtfulness and depth. Relationships without these things seem empty to them. That's why I personally prefer INFJ friends, because we tend to just get each other. INFJ tend to bring out my own feeling better, but I get along with both types.

The problem isn't being friends with other INFJs. The problem is FINDING them. At 1% of population, INFJ people are very hard to locate. If you meet someone at work who is an INFJ, are you going to ask them to take a 60 question test to better confirm that they are a good target for friendship? You rarely meet each other, and when you do meet each other you probably do not even realize it happened. Maybe we should all walk around with MBTI tattoos on our necks. I mean seriously. 

P.S., your videos do not present you as a rambling idiot. lol You present as emotionally open and present and honest.


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## Danse Macabre (Oct 30, 2009)

MaggieMay said:


> *
> 
> Do you find it easy to make friends and let people in?
> How many close friends would you say you have?
> *


I am pretty aloof unless I get a good feeling about someone, in which case I open right up. But it's not often that I do. 

I consider five people I know to be absolute best friends. So I guess I have a lot? My attitude is that I have enough friends and don't want any more, so I don't really ever try to make friends.


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## peter pettishrooms (Apr 20, 2015)

Counting all my yearbook signatures would make six. That's right. I was so popular only the best could sign it.

Surprisingly I wasn't close to the other orchestra members. Everyone was so introverted and reserved while I befriended most of the extroverted band geeks who approached me.


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## Korvyna (Dec 4, 2009)

There's a running joke that I make friends everywhere I go. I have one of those love me or hate me personalities. I pretty much put it all out there. If someone can't handle anyone who is blunt, then they are probably not going to like me at all. I'm also only serious when I have to be. The rest of the time it's a guarantee that I'm cracking jokes and being sarcastic about everything. 

I've developed a pretty wide range of friends over the last few months. My nights pretty well consist of me texting at least 3-4 people unless I'm out and about. I've been kind of down and out for awhile, but here lately I've been back on my game... So I'm ridiculously social again. 

I think I'm kind of odd in that when I first meet certain people I'm crazy shy...but I get over it pretty quickly. At least, I used to be this way. Lately, I've been that person that stops and chats with anyone that looks like they'll give me the time of day. Ha!


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## starscream430 (Jan 14, 2014)

I don't find it easy to make friends, but I do have a lot of acquaintances. Overall, I have very few close friends.


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## Enxu (Dec 14, 2012)

What you are going through with friendships are perfectly normal. We cannot possibly connect to every person in this world, so if we find the rare few its already a gift. Some people never find connections with anyone. 

I get along well with people in general ie. many acquaintances (except those who aren't my type which I either ignore or use sarcasm on and then kick them out of my life), but I have few close friends. I know there are 2 people who do consider me as life long friends, and they all have admirable personalities which I look up to and identify with. I also have other people whom I look up to, but its more difficult to become close friends when we don't have common social circles and they already have tons of friends to talk to. 

I have tried many ways to connect to people, being open and vulnerable was one. But I realized that the world is more complicated than I anticipated and not all people receive you well when you expose yourself for who you are. At least in Asian culture, being vulnerable is not well accepted and people tend to keep distance from you when you are too keen to know them at the outset. So I've learned to use it only when the other party is also keen on connecting with me on a deeper level rather than exposing myself without knowing what the other person's intention is. 

I guess we have to accept the fact that we can't always expect people to reciprocate our sincerity and attempts at making connections. Just because we are keen in making friends doesn't mean the other party has the same mindset. I no longer waste my time on people who are out to use me because of my sincerity nor do I bother building connections with people who give me superficial attention. It is better to save my resources to help those who truly accept me for who I am, love me sincerely and share similar ideals and values than to pour myself out to everyone who comes my way. Its not selfishness or lack of empathy, its just the smart thing to do.


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## Shaunee (Oct 20, 2015)

Hi everyone! 

For me its a little different. To make friends is easy to me, but I do it in a way that is not exactly healthy. I always pretend to be weaker and less of a thread - works quite fine. The downside is that my new "friends" don't ever _really_ know me. As a plus I get bored very fast if I see a flaw or weakness in friends. And I am disturbingly attracted by domineering and powerful people whom I tend to forgive more mistakes.

I have a few close friends, but it always depends on how close it is right now. 

Anyone who relates to that?


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## Noordenwind (Sep 28, 2015)

friendships used to be a disaster. in highschool i had a best friend, who dropped me as soon as we were out of highschool. that experience marked me for a long time. for years, i was unable to make any new friends at all. 

then i got a good online friend. i remember it well. i was so happy. he was an awesome person, or so i thought, and then he did the exact same things as my highschool friend, knowing full well that that had happened to me before.

but i guess i have served my karmic sentence, because now i have an amazingly close and wonderful best friend. i also have one other female friend. 

it's easy for me to be social, even as an introvert, but i don't get close easily. there has to be a click and a definite mutual interest. otherwise, i won't tie myself to a person.


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## Notus Asphodelus (Jan 20, 2015)

I don't make friends easily, but the ones I have, I will keep for a long time.


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## Saturnian Devil (Jan 29, 2013)

I find it easy to make acquaintances, and I have many. We get along fine. Occasional misunderstandings, but that's about it. As far as actual friends (in which quality is a major factor), I have about 10. Out of those ten, only 5 (including my SO) are considered best friends, mainly because they know everything about me that the others do not.

With the exception of my SO, and my other 4 best friends, I don't talk to all my friends or acquaintances every day. My SO and I talk the most.


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## Jagbas (Jul 8, 2015)

I don't have problems socializing and meeting new people but i am really picky when it comes to real friendship. I chose my closest friends at elementary school and we are still here  No one else survived school or uni or time.


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## MaggieMay (Dec 27, 2014)

sereneone said:


> INTJ and INFJ people are very similar and very particular. They like like logic and thoughtfulness and depth. Relationships without these things seem empty to them. That's why I personally prefer INFJ friends, because we tend to just get each other. INFJ tend to bring out my own feeling better, but I get along with both types.
> 
> The problem isn't being friends with other INFJs. The problem is FINDING them. At 1% of population, INFJ people are very hard to locate. If you meet someone at work who is an INFJ, are you going to ask them to take a 60 question test to better confirm that they are a good target for friendship? You rarely meet each other, and when you do meet each other you probably do not even realize it happened. Maybe we should all walk around with MBTI tattoos on our necks. I mean seriously.
> 
> P.S., your videos do not present you as a rambling idiot. lol You present as emotionally open and present and honest.


Agreed! 
Any INTJ I've met I have instantly felt comfortable around and I enjoy talking to them very much. They have depth. 
I have also met a few "INFJ" who I believe are mistyped, so it is hard to say. It would be quite funny but I would say not. 
YES! I am all for the neck tattoo, it would help finding friendships easier without having to endure the awkwardness that comes with meeting new faces to try and figure them out.
Aw, well I appreciate that. Thank you. I suppose it is my nervousness that makes me feel so.


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## BumbleBree (Nov 4, 2015)

I can actually make acquaintances fairly easily if I put effort into it, but I don't really call people my 'friends' as often. People tend to place value on my relationship with them faster than I do (I'm almost always surprised when they refer to me as their friend and occasionally even their 'good/best friend' when I'd never thought of them in that way...), and it usually takes quite a while before I actually consider someone my friend. Even then, I never fully open up to casual friends. I can list all of the people I feel completely open and comfortable with on one hand.


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## Act of Sensation (Apr 19, 2010)

Danse Macabre said:


> I am pretty aloof unless I get a good feeling about someone, in which case I open right up. But it's not often that I do.


Really? That's surprising. I'm more proactive about that... instead of me getting a good feeling about them, I want to be a good facilitator in the group. I want people to feel like I get where they're coming from... even if I don't necessarily like that person's aura. I want to be like the way the liver is in the body... you facilitate everything that comes in so everything is running smoothly, even if something shitty comes in like junk food the person ate lol.

Why is it that I'm INFP, you're ENFP, but I seem to have the E more than you do? Haha.



> My attitude is that I have enough friends and don't want any more, so I don't really ever try to make friends.


This thing from Seinfeld really fits here haha.

When you're in your thirties it's very hard to make a new friend. Whatever the group is that you've got now, that's who you're going with. You're not interviewing, you're not looking at any new people, you're not interested in seeing any applications. They don't know the places. They don't know the food. They don't know the activities.

If I meet a guy in a club, in the gym, or someplace, I'm like "hey look, I'm sure you're a very nice person. You seem to have a lot of potential... we're just not hiring right now. 

Of course when you're a kid, you can be friends with ANYbody. Remember when you were a little kid, what were the qualifications? If someone's in front of my house NOW, that's my friend, they're my friend, that's it. "Are you a grown up? No? Great! Come on in! Let's jump up and down on my bed!"

And if you have anything in common at all... "you like cherry soda? I like cherry soda!! We'll be best friends!!"


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## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

No - I never made friends easily. 

I have no interest in them - as they have no interest in me, either.


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## Danse Macabre (Oct 30, 2009)

Act of Sensation said:


> Really? That's surprising. I'm more proactive about that... instead of me getting a good feeling about them, I want to be a good facilitator in the group. I want people to feel like I get where they're coming from... even if I don't necessarily like that person's aura. I want to be like the way the liver is in the body... you facilitate everything that comes in so everything is running smoothly, even if something shitty comes in like junk food the person ate lol.
> 
> Why is it that I'm INFP, you're ENFP, but I seem to have the E more than you do? Haha.


I'm pretty sick of people I don't click with. I feel like I was over saturated with them at work and in hospital. In group therapy, there are a whole load of lonely, abused people who meet an intelligent genuine person and think WOW you're amazing! And then I'd open up about my stuff because it's therapy, and they'd go "WOW that's how I feel we should be friends". NO. I'm not here to make friends. They'd be all over me like ants. And then, when I said I'm not interested in connecting, they'd try even harder. Like "Oh come on, don't be shy" - I'm not being shy - I don't want to talk to you. 

I can socialise all day and not feel tired, I love my friends and I love working in customer service because I can talk all day, but hell no I'm not being especially friendly towards anyone unless 1. It's my job or 2. I really, really like them

I am sick of people feeling closer to me than I feel towards them. It really gets on my nerves because then I have to be deliberately cold and uninterested just to make them go away, and I don't like doing that. 

My whole life, I've had so many people who gravitate towards me because they're a little weird and I accept them....but just because I accept them doesn't mean we'd make good friends. And they don't seem to realise that. 

/Rant


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