# How Does Your Type Offend People?



## Le9acyMuse (Mar 12, 2010)

How does being an XXXX offend other people, or others of the same type?

I've known INFJs to want to save the world, martyrize themselves, or delve into the mysterious. I predict it being taken as naïveté, neediness and incompetence of real-life. I can agree with this depending on what our focuses are. 

Despiting, other INFJs tend not to bother me a lot. I get along with them almost too easily, even though I seek more polarizing people without as much moodiness.


----------



## GundamChao (Jun 17, 2014)

ENFPs can be a bit... too much for people. We want to get out there, shine, have fun, gather others around the celebration train, but some people are just set in their ways, or are slow experiencers, or want to mope around, or want to fling dirt and anger at the happiest person in the room. Our job ain't easy! :frustrating:


----------



## MylesPrower (May 8, 2012)

ISFPs? We're generally pretty skilled at brainwashing others into liking us but:

- Unhealthier ISFPs can become dependent and clingy; this is annoying to the object of desire and painful for everyone in the room to watch. 
- Sometimes our modesty is just over the top. Some of us are highly insecure and we become our own worst enemies. I have been in far too many relationships in which the only thing holding us back were my own insecurities. (this drives Fe especially, batshit crazy)
- Our laziness factor can rival even the idle hands of INxP's. 
- Indecisive to the point where it's annoying
- We can be such pseudo-intellectuals, thinking we have it all figured out but really _knowing nothing_


----------



## Le9acyMuse (Mar 12, 2010)

GundamChao said:


> ENFPs can be a bit... too much for people. We want to get out there, shine, have fun, gather others around the celebration train, but some people are just set in their ways, or are slow experiencers, or want to mope around, or want to fling dirt and anger at the happiest person in the room. Our job ain't easy! :frustrating:


 I've seen that. Yeah, tough perspective there. For consolation's sake I'm a big fan of the wildest of you guys.


----------



## Devorah T. (Jun 2, 2014)

MylesPrower said:


> ISFPs? We're generally pretty skilled at brainwashing others into liking us but:
> 
> - Unhealthier ISFPs can become dependent and clingy; this is annoying to the object of desire and painful for everyone in the room to watch.
> - Sometimes our modesty is just over the top. Some of us are highly insecure and we become our own worst enemies (this drives Fe crazy)
> ...


I really couldn't have said this much better.

The brainwashing others into liking us thing is interesting. I didn't know that was an "ISFP thing," but I DO THAT!!! My husband used to always get on me about it...telling me that it was almost manipulative, that I had this power over people to make them like me...but I always responded that in order to be manipulative, it would need to be intentional, right? It's not intentional, but I do do the whole brainwashing thing...it's like I know what people want to hear, so I give it to them. It just makes everyone so much happier and things are so much more fun that way... 

Anyway, I don't think, for me anyway, that I am indecisive...it's more like I will think I want something one minute, and then that minute passes and I will change my mind and feel like something else. I am very decisive for the minute when I want something, but as soon as it's over, it was really just a passing phase, and I am onto something else. And I am this way about almost EVERYTHING. One day I am like, ready to drop everything to go off and become a professional origami artist, and the next day I decide that the meaning of life for me is to rearrange all of the furniture in the entire house. (Silly examples, not actual examples from my actual life, but it's kind of that extreme...)


----------



## MylesPrower (May 8, 2012)

Devorah T. said:


> I really couldn't have said this much better.
> 
> The brainwashing others into liking us thing is interesting. I didn't know that was an "ISFP thing," but I DO THAT!!! My husband used to always get on me about it...telling me that it was almost manipulative, that I had this power over people to make them like me...but I always responded that in order to be manipulative, it would need to be intentional, right? It's not intentional, but I do do the whole brainwashing thing...it's like I know what people want to hear, so I give it to them. It just makes everyone so much happier and things are so much more fun that way...
> 
> Anyway, I don't think, for me anyway, that I am indecisive...it's more like I will think I want something one minute, and then that minute passes and I will change my mind and feel like something else. I am very decisive for the minute when I want something, but as soon as it's over, it was really just a passing phase, and I am onto something else. And I am this way about almost EVERYTHING. One day I am like, ready to drop everything to go off and become a professional origami artist, and the next day I decide that the meaning of life for me is to rearrange all of the furniture in the entire house. (Silly examples, not actual examples from my actual life, but it's kind of that extreme...)


Yeah absolutely. At the end of the day, we do have an instinctual need to feel liked and respected with our peers and so that is the seed that we nurture. Fi combined with Se wants this constant state of well-being between friends and family, so much so that when we do experience rejection, we're ready to just cut it off, cut losses to return to our inner state of bliss. (which I suppose is why so many ISFPs are e9s)


----------



## Aelthwyn (Oct 27, 2010)

how would INFPs "offend" people? - most likely by not following social norms that we find silly or stifling of our personal ideals. In most cases INFPs try their best to not be offensive to anyone, but we're not prepared to give up who we are for the sake of norms that we consider pointless. 

Similarly, people may sometimes seem offended by what they see as our 'impracticality' which may 'waste' time or resources, but this may be due to having very different goals or values, and while our method may be efficient in reaching our own goal, it may go against the goals others think we ought to have. 

I think INFPs can in fact be 'overly' practical about some things leading to ignoring 'rules' that strike us as needlessly hindering our goals. INFPs value of intentions - 'the spirit of the law', and disregard for details of 'the letter of the law' can strike others as defiant or arrogant. 

Being late due to distractibility, disorganization, or bad sense of time, and being forgetful are also ways we may offend others, despite having good intentions. 

Refusing to play along with social pressure to join in with 'fun' activities, a propensity to simply disappear when feeling overwhelmed amongst a group of people, not being able to contain ourselves when an emotional melt-down occurs, and awkwardness in social interactions by taking no interest in others or being 'too honest' rather than following conversational conventions can also offend others. 

also mentioned in some Fe vs. Fi thread it's possible that Fi's way of self-revealing as a way of connecting/identifying with others and encouraging others to feel comfortable sharing about themselves in return can sometimes register instead as simply being self-absorbed (a more literal invitation to share via asking questions seems to be preferred in this case).


----------



## ElliCat (May 4, 2014)

Using @Aelthwyn's points as a checklist:

- *not following social norms that we find silly* - Usually I'm a "snob" because I don't do small talk. It's not something that I feel comfortable doing, and I figure if people really want to get to know me they'll be happy to talk about things that are actually interesting to the both of us. 

- *our 'impracticality' which may 'waste' time or resources* - I don't think people have been offended by it but I'm sure it's a common complaint.

- *INFPs value of intentions - 'the spirit of the law', and disregard for details of 'the letter of the law' can strike others as defiant or arrogant.* - When people clash with me I'm called selfish and stubborn. No one's called me arrogant (at least to my face) but I think that's because they know that if anything I have low self esteem. 

- *Being late due to distractibility, disorganization, or bad sense of time, and being forgetful are also ways we may offend others.* - Again, a common complaint, but the only time I can think of it causing actual offense would be if I forgot someone's birthday when they expected me to make an effort for it. Maybe it's because most people I know well tend to be the same way. 

On the flip side, I get annoyed when people are flaky when it comes to actual commitments. It's a big deal for me to actually lock something in so if someone then backs out or keeps changing plans at the last minute I start thinking of all the things I could have been doing instead and get upset. So even though unreliability can be an INFP trait I try to go the other way and be super reliable. Doesn't stop me from missing trains by 30 seconds or forgetting the odd thing, but I will always honour at least the bare minimum of a commitment even if I'm not in the mood. 

- *Refusing to play along with social pressure to join in with 'fun' activities* - Often.

- *a propensity to simply disappear when feeling overwhelmed* - I'm trying to outline and enforce boundaries now but yes, very much guilty of this in the past.

-* not being able to contain ourselves when an emotional melt-down occurs* - Yes. Sometimes people can take it personally ("omg I said that comment and then she cried so that must mean she was offended by it HOW DARE SHE") and sometimes people are just at a complete loss. What makes it worse is that talking is either extremely difficult or just winds me up tighter when I'm in that state, so I can't even communicate and try to alleviate the situation until after I've calmed down!

- *awkwardness in social interactions by taking no interest in others or being 'too honest' rather than following conversational conventions can also offend others.* - Whoops.



> also mentioned in some Fe vs. Fi thread it's possible that Fi's way of self-revealing as a way of connecting/identifying with others and encouraging others to feel comfortable sharing about themselves in return can sometimes register instead as simply being self-absorbed (a more literal invitation to share via asking questions seems to be preferred in this case).


I do the same thing and am always worried afterwards about how it was received. Usually people figure it out pretty quickly but as a preemptive measure I will make sure to ask questions or say things like, "Well I don't know about you but I've found that..." to try to prompt a discussion.


----------



## SweetPickles (Mar 19, 2012)

INFP

By sticking my foot in my mouth...often.


----------



## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

I've heard people say ESFJs can be illogical and overbearing.


----------



## brajenful (Feb 16, 2014)

I could easily offend people by not doing anything. And then wonder why they got offended.


----------



## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

john.thomas said:


> I've heard people say ESFJs can be illogical and overbearing.


they weren't INTJ's were they? we pretty much say that about every body


----------



## aendern (Dec 28, 2013)

I offend people by saying things are stupid that other people like.

Of course, this is 100% their fault, though, because the only time I mention something is stupid _is when someone asks me my opinion about it_.


I can be kind of insensitive with my opinions _when people ask me for them_. Idk why -- despite my knowledge of the consequent -- I always naïvely think people want honesty when they ask for my opinion.

And so I always foolishly give it to them. And it feels *so good*, too. It's like I'm getting something off my chest, so to speak. It feels so good to honestly say that their dress is super displeasing to my eyes or I strongly dislike how they rearranged their living room and it was fine how they had it when I last visited. Or I never would have done what they did had I been in their situation... and how it seems to me that they made the worst possible decision they had the ability to make...

It just feels so good.

And I know that it probably offends a lot of people :/

But goddamnit they shouldn't have asked me in the first place if they couldn't take the truth.

I think it's feeling types whom I have the most trouble with in this respect -- It's like if they ask my opinion on anything -- no matter how unrelated to them it is -- if I reply with negativity, they'll take it as a personal attack on themselves.

(Does anyone else feel like that?) I feel like I have to tiptoe around them so as to not upset them.

I'm mostly speaking about my experiences speaking with my sister - enfp. She has come a _long_ way, though. She's way better at taking my honesty nowadays than she used to be. Honestly, I think exposing her to harsh truths and honesties has made her stronger as a person. So I don't regret it. I think she realizes this, too.. because for some reason she still asks me for my opinion on things.

It's funny how opposite from me she is, though .. if she doesn't like something, she will be super passive aggressive about it. She never tells you how she feels straight to your face. You have to like figure it out, and it's really draining.

Or she'll say something super annoying like if you ask her where she wants to go for dinner, she'll say "Oh, you know.. whereever. I don't care."

And if you pick the wrong restaurant, she'll be cranky and annoyed. Its like dealing with a 22 year old child in some respects.


----------



## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

I think honestly ISFPs offend people with their opinions, whether it's musically, artistic, or written...or humor.

Other wise IRL I have been called (I swear) "the nicest person in the world."


People love ISFPs until they realize they have opinions. Just ask Michael Jackson.


----------



## Reluctanine (May 11, 2014)

By being too cute. All INFPs are cute, even the gloomy ones.


----------



## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

Devorah T. said:


> I really couldn't have said this much better.
> 
> The brainwashing others into liking us thing is interesting. I didn't know that was an "ISFP thing," but I DO THAT!!! My husband used to always get on me about it...telling me that it was almost manipulative, that I had this power over people to make them like me...but I always responded that in order to be manipulative, it would need to be intentional, right? It's not intentional, but I do do the whole brainwashing thing...it's like I know what people want to hear, so I give it to them. It just makes everyone so much happier and things are so much more fun that way...
> 
> Anyway, I don't think, for me anyway, that I am indecisive...it's more like I will think I want something one minute, and then that minute passes and I will change my mind and feel like something else. I am very decisive for the minute when I want something, but as soon as it's over, it was really just a passing phase, and I am onto something else. And I am this way about almost EVERYTHING. One day I am like, ready to drop everything to go off and become a professional origami artist, and the next day I decide that the meaning of life for me is to rearrange all of the furniture in the entire house. (Silly examples, not actual examples from my actual life, but it's kind of that extreme...)


When my bff from high school found out I wanted to be a park ranger, she said yes I can see you outside in nature in a barefoot way, not a boots way, unless you wanted to do that. My own mother said I was such a sweet person until I was with my ex, and my ESFJ sister projects "lady" onto me.

It's so different from what I know about myself. I see myself as strong and offensive. My ISFP cousin started a Facebook page called Negative Nancy with off color offensive humor, and says if you don't like it fuck off, though she was always quiet and "harmless" wide eyed and earthy.

I have almost 400 friends on Facebook and am sometimes not sure why. I was "nice" or popular in high school but I feel my adult self is nothing like that. My ESFJ friend said when she met me she could see me feeding a deer and that I seemed very mature, but later she was shocked that I was OG or street.

I actually had some one once mistake me for an INFJ and I wonder if I initially come across as "this lady"- INFJ always seem like perfect ladies them and ISFJ, I am truly the opposite of that inside.


----------



## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

emberfly said:


> I offend people by saying things are stupid that other people like.
> 
> Of course, this is 100% their fault, though, because the only time I mention something is stupid _is when someone asks me my opinion about it_.
> 
> ...


You sound like an ESFJ.


----------



## Inveniet (Aug 21, 2009)

Conciously a way that stings really really bad.
Unconciously just pointing out the obvious that others tried hard to ignore.


----------



## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

INTP-Rudeness


----------



## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

ESTP 

- Being results oriented can be a problem. 

If we're at a party and you're contributing to a feel good mood, we're your best friend. If we're at a party and you're bringing down the mood, we're problem solvers and we'll solve the problem you create one way or another. If we respect you as an individual, this doesn't necessarily mean a bad thing. If we don't know you or don't like you, this will end badly because we won't think to care about how you feel. We'll care that you stop fucking up the party. If we're working on a project and you're contributing to finishing it, we're your best friend. If we're working on a project and you're holding things up by sticking to the letter of the law or an idea that isn't workable, we're problem solves and we'll resolve the issue you present one way or another. If we respect you as an individual, this doesn't necessarily mean a bad thing. But again, if we don't know you or don't like you, this will end badly. 

At the end of the day, it's best to have our respect. You don't have to be the strongest, smartest, fastest or best or most creative etc... to earn our respect. Be yourself, be authentic. We'll never respect you without it. It's better to have our respect than to be liked. I can like someone, find them funny, but not respect them. My respect is far more valuable to your well being than having me like you. I'm never sure why people waste time making sure people like them when they should be making sure that people respect them.


----------



## TootsieBear267 (May 30, 2014)

ENTJ

I can very bossy and argumentative. However, I see that as a positive for myself. Why do I say this? Because I love seeing people's true colors, and seeing how intelligent they are. 

I can also be very inflexible as a person.


----------



## Bugs (May 13, 2014)

ENTP - 

LOL, I guess I can make a laundry list! What people get the most annoyed with is that they feel that we think we are smarter than everyone else.


----------



## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

I can be kind of insensitive with my opinions - I wouldn't call it being insensitive but more like them being too sensitive 

It just feels so good.- it suuuuuure does

And I know that it probably offends a lot of people 

But goddamnit they shouldn't have asked me in the first place if they couldn't take the truth.- you want the truth ? you can't handle the truth

I think it's feeling types whom I have the most trouble with in this respect -- It's like if they ask my opinion on anything -- no matter how unrelated to them it is -- if I reply with negativity, they'll take it as a personal attack on themselves.

(Does anyone else feel like that?) I feel like I have to tiptoe around them so as to not upset them.- I don't tip toe I feel that every one else has their say yet when I have mine they get upset with me. like I always say'' if you didn't like the answer then you shouldn't have asked the question. I believe people think we are going verify their answer and when we don't stroke their cock they get pissed

I'm mostly speaking about my experiences speaking with my sister - enfp. She has come a _long_ way, though. She's way better at taking my honesty nowadays than she used to be. Honestly, I think exposing her to harsh truths and honesties has made her stronger as a person. So I don't regret it. I think she realizes this, too.. because for some reason she still asks me for my opinion on things.



Or she'll say something super annoying like if you ask her where she wants to go for dinner, she'll say "Oh, you know.. whereever. I don't care."

And if you pick the wrong restaurant, she'll be cranky and annoyed. Its like dealing with a 22 year old child in some respects.[/QUOTE]
I love my family very deeply but if they were not related then we probably would not speak


----------



## tantomoriremotutti (May 7, 2014)

INTJ: the worst way I usually offend people is bad-looking when they talk to me and ignoring later...


----------



## WardRhiannon (Feb 1, 2012)

As an INFP, I've offended people in several different ways. 

1. My sense of humor is dry and sarcastic and can be dark and inappropriate. If people don't know that I'm joking, my jokes and comments can be taken the wrong way and then I have to explain. 

2. I can be too sensitive to other people and their comments/criticism. I've been working on my reactions, though, and I've been getting better at least hiding what I feel and at being more objective. 

3. I tend to ignore social norms sometimes and having to do things because everyone else does them. I tend to suck at things like sending cards. Fe also tends not to compute in my head. 

4. I've been lectured for not being bubbly. 

5. I can get so wrapped up in my opinions/values that I can't see the other person's point-of-view, though most of the time I'm willing to listen or consider the opinions of others.


----------



## TootsieBear267 (May 30, 2014)

WardRhiannon said:


> As an INFP, I've offended people in several different ways.
> 
> 1. My sense of humor is dry and sarcastic and can be dark and inappropriate. If people don't know that I'm joking, my jokes and comments can be taken the wrong way and then I have to explain.
> 
> ...


I can't believe how true this is for the INFPs in my life. Bizzaro world!


----------



## WardRhiannon (Feb 1, 2012)

TootsieBear267 said:


> I can't believe how true this is for the INFPs in my life. Bizzaro world!


At least I'm not the only ones with these problems.


----------



## LostFavor (Aug 18, 2011)

I can be offensively ignorant at times. Like if I'm learning something new, someone whose brain moves really fast isn't going to have a lot of patience with me because I have a lot of questions and some of them are going to look really stupid. It's like a tortoise - slow and steady. I enjoy teasing friends with this, too; exaggerating just how ignorant and slow I am. 

- poke holes in things when people don't want holes poked in them (like when watching movies). 

- am too idealistic concerning life and end up giving people the impression that I'm not practical (which is pretty laughable from where I'm standing). 

- swearing around religious family members, especially using words like "god" or "jesus" and then having to explain that the words don't have the same meaning to me

That's all I can think of for now. I don't think I'm very good at offending people on the whole.


----------



## MightyLizardKing (Jun 7, 2014)

Apparently I have the tendency to dismiss feelings as a valid form of judgment. I also argue too much and don't care about how it effects people, but its not MY fault you're too sensitive


----------



## Moya (May 22, 2012)

Personally speaking,
* It really bothers me when I hear someone say something blatantly false or illogical - to the point where I have to hold myself back from correcting strangers who I was eavesdropping on. It usually doesn't go over well when I do that.
* People think I'm constantly trying to "start fights" when really I just want to work through things with reason. If someone say something that pisses me off, I'm going to tell them, because what good is it to bottle it up and cause a bigger blow out down the line?
* I'm very inconsistent in my interactions with people. If the mood strikes, I'll be chatty and sociable, then two hours later I'll purposefully avoid everyone just so I can do things by myself. It's actually pretty impressive the amount of tactics I've used to avoid socializing with anyone, even people I enjoy talking to. 
* I'm generally quite controlled emotionally and careful about which emotions I show to which people, so when something strikes a nerve, it immensely surprises most people. Most things don't elicit a major emotional response from me, so when someone hits my "berserk button", it can be a little terrifying.
* I don't like jumping into things unless I know exactly what I'm jumping into - _exactly _- and it can be a pain in the ass when I ask for a detailed explanation from someone who thinks I should just see what happens. If my only option is to "see what happens", I probably won't do it.
* I'm not good at expressing how I feel, but I do have a need for intimacy like anyone else, even when platonic - so while you might think showing that you care is buying me flowers, _I_ think showing you care is actually listening to what I say and not judging me for it or imposing your opinion on it...and if you do the former and not the latter, I might suddenly become very passive aggressive or touchy. My bad.


----------



## Squirrel (Jun 14, 2014)

By talking.
Especially to F's, anything we say is just offensive and they'll take everything literally; even when you're joking.


----------



## Cellar Door (Jun 3, 2012)

By saying offensive things all the time. I don't really think it's possible for me to be offended, so in general it's a reaction that I don't really understand.


----------



## Golden Rose (Jun 5, 2014)

Seconding 'by talking'.

In my case, because of excessive criticism and calling people out on the irrational things they say, being too emotionally unavailable before I get close to someone and too demanding once I do and using too much sarcasm and dark humor. I'm not one to fan the fires but at times people tend not to notice when I'm simply joking, especially those who take everything at face value.

Some of my habits can come across as weird too.


----------



## Recede (Nov 23, 2011)

I suppose I might offend people by expressing myself honestly, even if it means expressing disagreement or unpopular beliefs. For instance, if someone says "I believe X", I will compulsively respond by expressing my own belief in contrast.

People might also get annoyed by my self-absorption. I'm always talking about myself and my thoughts about my type, but I can't help it because that's what I think about and what can I express other than my thoughts? D:

And some people complain that I'm too quiet. Some take it personally and think I'm cold and don't want to talk to them. Sometimes that's true, but usually I just have nothing to say. And it doesn't really work to make an effort to be more talkative or bubbly because I can only keep that up for so long, and then when I go back to my usual quiet self, the person thinks something's wrong because I'm different from before. :/


----------



## kittenmogu (Jun 19, 2014)

Squirrel said:


> By talking.
> Especially to F's, anything we say is just offensive and they'll take everything literally; even when you're joking.





Cellar Door said:


> By saying offensive things all the time. I don't really think it's possible for me to be offended, so in general it's a reaction that I don't really understand.


If you can't converse with people without offending them, I am concerned. That is not a balanced way to live, even logically speaking. the same way F people engage with logic, T acquaint themselves with personal matters. Life requires both. It would not make sense for F people uncomfortable with logic to blame T people for a problem within themselves. So why would it make sense for F people to be responsible for T's discomfort with personal matters?

Also, to imply that T types do not have values or hold meaning in anything is inaccurate. Having emotions or values is a trait of people. If you are not offended by anything, it does not have anything to do with your type. Believing typing says anything about that is an indication of a lack of understanding of MBTI.


----------



## AquaBlue (Jun 23, 2014)

I guess coming off as lazy, self-absorbed and taking things too seriously. People think I'm too quiet.


----------



## Vegetables (Jun 22, 2014)

Bugs said:


> ENTP -
> 
> LOL, I guess I can make a laundry list! What people get the most annoyed with is that they feel that we think we are smarter than everyone else.


Know* not feel.


----------



## Cellar Door (Jun 3, 2012)

kittenmogu said:


> If you can't converse with people without offending them, I am concerned. That is not a balanced way to live, even logically speaking. the same way F people engage with logic, T acquaint themselves with personal matters. Life requires both. It would not make sense for F people uncomfortable with logic to blame T people for a problem within themselves. So why would it make sense for F people to be responsible for T's discomfort with personal matters?
> 
> Also, to imply that T types do not have values or hold meaning in anything is inaccurate. Having emotions or values is a trait of people. If you are not offended by anything, it does not have anything to do with your type. Believing typing says anything about that is an indication of a lack of understanding of MBTI.


You don't need to be concerned, I don't offend people very often, it's just that when I do that's usually the reason. I'm usually very cautions around people I don't know, or aren't on the same wavelength as me, so I can avoid offending people. 

I think MBTI can have a strong influence on how easy it is to offend someone. I can tell based on experience what is offensive and what isn't, and most INTPs probably can, but their threshold for offensiveness is way higher than most types. That really goes for ESTP, ENTP, and ISTP as well actually. It mostly has to do with undeveloped but still valued Fe, which can result in purposefully saying things that disgust others, get under their skin, or test their "detachedness". I think the FJs can take part a little bit or laugh a long, but generally don't whole-sale produce it on the same level.


----------



## kittenmogu (Jun 19, 2014)

Cellar Door said:


> You don't need to be concerned, I don't offend people very often, it's just that when I do that's usually the reason. I'm usually very cautions around people I don't know, or aren't on the same wavelength as me, so I can avoid offending people.
> 
> I think MBTI can have a strong influence on how easy it is to offend someone. I can tell based on experience what is offensive and what isn't, and most INTPs probably can, but their threshold for offensiveness is way higher than most types. That really goes for ESTP, ENTP, and ISTP as well actually. It mostly has to do with undeveloped but still valued Fe, which can result in purposefully saying things that disgust others, get under their skin, or test their "detachedness". I think the FJs can take part a little bit or laugh a long, but generally don't whole-sale produce it on the same level.


Ahh okay. Thank you for clearing that up.

As a result of joining this forum I have been able to converse with more INTPs, and it's given me a broader perspective from the ones I know. One actually has well developed Fe, the other one definitely fits the underdeveloped Fe bill. I notice awkwardness and discomfort from the one with low Fe, as well as a feeling of being isolated and unable to connect others. A socially awkward INTP. But there's no desire to purposefully say things to test others and she would hate to say something that offended someone else. Is that a possible manifestation of low Fe or could I be mistaking it for something else?


----------



## VioletTru (Jun 24, 2012)

CogFuncs, here we go...

When I'm using my Fe... and it "annoys"- "Don't worry about them, they'll be fine!" "Haha, no need to be so formal." "IT'S OK, I can get it on my own, you don't need to do that for me!" (But, but, I want to!)

When I'm using my Fi... and it "annoys"- "Pfft, so sensitive, was just a joke, gosh." (Well, actually... that's just YOU being an asshole. And not to mention other factors that contribute to this... nevermind.)

When I'm using my Ne... and it "annoys" - "Um, you okay? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING?" "Wow, you have a great... imagination." "Umm, calm down, stop thinking about these things and focus." (Well, EXCUUUSEE ME, princess!)

When I'm using my Te... and it "annoys" - "Wow, you're scary." "Not everyone can be like you, OKAY?" "Hey, that was mean, no need for that." (Whoops, gotta tone it down a bit.)

When I'm using my Se... and it "annoys" - "So hyper!" "Ohmigoodness, we have to go NOW!" "Umm... that was random." "...Don't do that, it's dangerous." (Hey, hey, don't ruin my moment here!)

When I'm using my Si... and it "annoys"- "....how the hell do you remember ALL those things?" "Why are we just focusing on THAT?" "It's okay, there's no need to do it again...come on now...." "Ughh, FINE, I'll clean it." (You'd better.)

When I'm using my Ti... and it "annoys"- "So insensitive." "How dare you..." *tears sobbing, door slam* (... uhh, well glad that's over.)

.... ok, fine, that was mostly in jest (yes, not tht srs mkay?) but you get the general idea. 

xNFP muthafuckas! With awesome Se/Si and DEADLY Fe/Te. And introducing Ti! Ni coming next year to a store near you.


----------



## Satan Claus (Aug 6, 2013)

ENFP's might be a little bit in your face with our.....hugs and cuddles.


----------



## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

Satan Claus said:


> ENFP's might be a little bit in your face with our.....hugs and cuddles.


Really? o.0 I would never force my Love onto others if they didn't want it. :tongue:

Saying, "LET ME LOVE YOU" seems more like an Fe or even an ExTP thing. )


----------



## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

MNiS said:


> Really? o.0 I would never force my Love onto others if they didn't want it. :tongue:
> 
> Saying, "LET ME LOVE YOU" seems more like an Fe or even an ExTP thing. )


I agree with you to some extent. I have an ENFP friend who will pull the "let me love you" act when she knows the person she's showing affection for actually appreciates it (even if they're not outwardly weeping with delight).

But she wouldn't try it on someone she knew actually did not appreciate it or want it.


----------



## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

Marlowe said:


> (even if they're not outwardly weeping with delight).


I'd be much less likely to trust someone who wept easily unless I knew the person and I knew that to not be the case. I've met just a few too many women and men who could turn their tears on and off like a faucet. I find that type of emoting to be manipulative.


----------



## Iskandarani (Jun 7, 2014)

Being the "know it al" XD


----------



## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

MNiS said:


> I'd be much less likely to trust someone who wept easily unless I knew the person and I knew that to not be the case. I've met just a few too many women and men who could turn their tears on and off like a faucet. I find that type of emoting to be manipulative.


...hyperbole?


I haven't met many people who can work the crying angle on a manipulative level. I don't think it would work on me...I tend to just go into Mama Bear mode. Either that or freeze up and start trying to mentally plan out a way to appear sympathetic and understanding. Not very good at that last one.


----------



## L'Enfant Terrible (Jun 8, 2014)

Idk what type I am but I offend people like this


----------



## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

Marlowe said:


> ...hyperbole?


No, I'm being serious.



> I haven't met many people who can work the crying angle on a manipulative level. I don't think it would work on me...I tend to just go into Mama Bear mode. Either that or freeze up and start trying to mentally plan out a way to appear sympathetic and understanding. Not very good at that last one.


I met them mostly in grade school. I think once a person matures they learn that crying or throwing a tantrum to get their way is immature and wrong unless they have legitimate grievances.


----------



## Tezcatlipoca (Jun 6, 2014)

Every way imaginable. Arrogance, selfishness, hatred, laziness, insulting. Just a few of my personality flaws. I fight very hard to find a balance between being overly active which makes me angry, selfish, and vain and apathy which makes me lazy and useless. When I am active and feel people resent me or are using me then I go to a very dark place. When I am lazy and "good" ie not really good just bullshit better than thou stuff then I become depressed and feel shame for my actions and the powerlessness over the situation. Meditation helps keep my head straight, as well as doing charitable deeds like volunteering or helping others learn from my many MANY mistakes. I have trouble admitting my mistakes and apologizing. I get very emotional in those moments. I need to do this though, but have you ever felt like the number of enemies you have is ridiculously high and honestly you kind of don't blame them? But at the same time you empathize with yourself and have to maintain composure so what do you do? This is the problem I am facing right now


----------



## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

MNiS said:


> No, I'm being serious.


Haha, I meant I was using hyperbole in my original parenthetical statement. I wasn't sure you'd caught that...



> I met them mostly in grade school. I think once a person matures they learn that crying or throwing a tantrum to get their way is immature and wrong unless they have legitimate grievances.


You'd be surprised. I know many adults who will throw tantrums at the drop of a hat. Only they don't cry-- they scream and throw things.


----------



## ChocolateBunny (Aug 5, 2013)

INTP.

Maybe the most I would do to offend people would be being apathetic...or if I'm caught laughing at something like the death of a dog I don't like. Or saying, "Finally," when it finally dies. In general I wouldn't be caught laughing or saying that out loud. I try not to offend people. I've been told that I say things "[the person] doesn't want to hear" in a nice enough way that it doesn't sound offensive/mean/etc.

The dog situation is merely hypothetical, though. That dog still lives.


----------



## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

Marlowe said:


> Haha, I meant I was using hyperbole in my original parenthetical statement. I wasn't sure you'd caught that...


You were clearly referring to me.



> You'd be surprised. I know many adults who will throw tantrums at the drop of a hat. Only they don't cry-- they scream and throw things.


I think that's more acceptable as an adult. Especially for the Fe-ego and possibly Se types.


----------



## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

MNiS said:


> You were clearly referring to me.


No! I totally wasn't! I swear! Cross my heart, hope to die.

(If you're being sarcastic, this is the point where I let you know I suck at detecting sarcasm). 



> I think that's more acceptable as an adult. Especially for the Fe types.


Hahahaha. You have a much wider tolerance level than I do. I find it totally unacceptable, especially having watched it in practice many, many times. Usually, the people who throw tantrums do so against those who are not in a favorable position to respond on equal footing. It's basically a chance for them to inflict their pain on people who are not deserving of such crap.


----------



## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

plisser said:


> INTP.
> 
> Maybe the most I would do to offend people would be being apathetic...or if I'm caught laughing at something like the death of a dog I don't like. Or saying, "Finally," when it finally dies. In general I wouldn't be caught laughing or saying that out loud. I try not to offend people. I've been told that I say things "[the person] doesn't want to hear" in a nice enough way that it doesn't sound offensive/mean/etc.
> 
> The dog situation is merely hypothetical, though. That dog still lives.


Kirito, is that you?


----------



## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

Marlowe said:


> No! I totally wasn't! I swear! Cross my heart, hope to die.
> 
> (If you're being sarcastic, this is the point where I let you know I suck at detecting sarcasm).


I'm still pretty sure you were referring to me. Hence the question mark. Also no, I dropped the sarcasm a long time ago once I learned that a large portion of the population don't understand it and tend to dislike people who use it freely. I almost always say exactly what I mean (or as clearly as I can communicate anyway) unless I'm joking or trying to be funny.



> Hahahaha. You have a much wider tolerance level than I do. I find it totally unacceptable, especially having watched it in practice many, many times. Usually, the people who throw tantrums do so against those who are not in a favorable position to respond on equal footing. It's basically a chance for them to inflict their pain on people who are not deserving of such crap.


Okay, I agree with you then. I think if someone throws tantrums at others out of malice against those who can't do anything back is a bit of a cowardly act.


----------



## awatchmakersdiary (Jun 17, 2014)

Only socializing with them when we feel like it and on our terms...i.e...turning down their plans to "go out" to sit on my couch eating mac & cheese and binge-watching Friday Night Lights in various states of undress.

Not caring about practical mundane things like checking the oil in cars, or watching the news, or getting the mail out of the mailbox before it's all jammed up.

Not responding to emotional questions or statements that fish for validation such as : "I could never wear that I'd look so fat", "do you think he's busy or is he just ignoring my text message? He probably hates me". Or being blunt with our honest opinions.

Talking about everything like we know the secrets of the universe and nobody else understands them. Or waxing scientific, philosophic, mathematic or poetic at inappropriate times.


----------



## ChocolateBunny (Aug 5, 2013)

Marlowe said:


> Kirito, is that you?


Do you mean my avatar? It's not Kirito. 

I believe the person in my avatar is Teito Klein from the anime 07 Ghost...and for some reason he's holding the scythe of a guy named Zehel.








^ That's the guy in my avatar.


----------



## kittenmogu (Jun 19, 2014)

Cellar Door said:


> I don't know the basis by which you've typed these people, but often times people mistype by mixing up enneagram stuff with MBTI stuff. I would say that a lot of INTPs are type 5, but a lot of other MBTI types can be type 5. There are a bunch of type 5 TJs, some NJs, and even some NPs. I think SFJ is probably the least common, but definitely not out of the question. I think that often times science/engineer INFPs can be type 5, which is going to make them come off Tish, if that makes sense.


Ahh. Knowing their enneagram would be helpful.

Most of my friends are artists, including the two INTPs. If people involved with science/engineering can come off as Tish, perhaps artists can come off as Fish. ...F-ish. That's something to ponder. The best I can do is give them more tests and continue to observe them as I have.

One of these days I'm going to offend someone by trying to analyze them ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


----------



## 1000BugsNightSky (May 8, 2014)

Intp:
By being blunt.
By being awkward.
By not knowing what to say or pretending not to hear.
By not revealing enough of their inner thoughts and feelings.
By being different from most people.


----------



## ninjamaster (Mar 20, 2014)

INFP
-not being clear / beating around the bush
-being too emotional / overly excited
-being too shy / quiet
-crawling into my shell
-escaping responsibility
-complaining


----------



## somebodysisyphus (Jun 18, 2014)

jim87 said:


> My apologies....that was pretty blistering.....I just assumed a male said it....I am truly impressed....I've never met a female INTP.. I don't think I've met any male INTP's either...hats off to you.


I'm reveling in your adoration. Congratulations on making your first connection with an INTP female. We're not all INFP's.


----------



## Brian1 (May 7, 2011)

ESTP here, I just open my mouth, and say what's on my mind, and its like I farted, then let this massive belch, but, it only works if I'm around F types,because they can't comprehend the AWESOME, BAD ASS AWESOMENESS of my logic. How can I be so cold and logical. I'm the kind of person who will advocate what's got to be done, and I don't care how you do it


----------



## Leaf on the Wind (Dec 26, 2013)

INTP here.
We don't mean to offend. It's just that social mores don't come naturally to us and part of us always wants to tell the truth, even if the truth hurts. Actually, especially if the truth hurts (under the logic of "would you rather we lie and you keep on going, or find out how bad it is and change course?). And this leads to correcting people when they talk; we would rather the truth be out then perpetuate a lie or a mistake, even if it's annoying, aggravating and comes off as condescending.


----------



## MightyLizardKing (Jun 7, 2014)

Currently living with an ISFJ, 2 ESFJs and an ESTJ males who sublet from my friends. As an ENTP you can see the potential clashes. 

All four of them try really hard to be "normal" and I genuinely think they get offended when I so bluntly don't give a shit about being anything of the sort. I got into a huge argument with all of them about college GPA. They all pride themselves in having a high GPA and I just (not even meaning to start anything, lol) said "thinking you have a high GPA makes you intelligent proves you're not." It kind of just slipped out (#ENTProblems lol). One of the ESFJs and ESTJ flipped out at me.

They ended saying im just being jealous of their high GPA and when I pointed out that my GPA was higher than all of theirs they didn't say another word.

Another time one of the ESFJs got mad at the other ESFJ (the one I like) and was shit-talking him to the others and me by saying "you shouldn't play music at 9 in the morning with speakers in, that's disrespectful"

I replied by saying "It is also disrespectful to talk shit behind someones back" and then walked out of the room. He gave me the cold shoulder for a bit after that. lol.

The ESTJ also has an ESFP girlfriend and I clash majorly with her. We're both pretty obnoxious, lol, but I just shoot down everything she says (mainly because she's wrong). ESFPs shouldn't talk politics.


----------



## tantomoriremotutti (May 7, 2014)

Leaf on the Wind said:


> INTP here.
> We don't mean to offend. It's just that social mores don't come naturally to us and part of us always wants to tell the truth, even if the truth hurts. Actually, especially if the truth hurts (under the logic of "would you rather we lie and you keep on going, or find out how bad it is and change course?). And this leads to correcting people when they talk; we would rather the truth be out then perpetuate a lie or a mistake, even if it's annoying, aggravating and comes off as condescending.


Tell me something please. As INTP you avoid conflicts and don't tell always the truth to people because you don't want to hurt them, or because you don't want them to hurt you after you hurt them? 
In a different scenario, like on the web, do you have problems to cope with people? Do you care about not hurting people when there are no consequences?


----------



## Lucky Luciano (Nov 28, 2013)

We rob banks and blow stuff up


----------



## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Not giving a crap about progressing in a realistic way.


----------



## james087 (Nov 4, 2012)

I just open my mouth and then the cop wants to throw me in jail.. wut even. I try super hard to be nice guy too.


----------



## jim87 (Apr 17, 2014)

tantomoriremotutti said:


> Tell me something please. As INTP you avoid conflicts and don't tell always the truth to people because you don't want to hurt them, or because you don't want them to hurt you after you hurt them?
> In a different scenario, like on the web, do you have problems to cope with people? Do you care about not hurting people when there are no consequences?


For me....I love to avoid conflicts....I disagree with people all the time and keep it to myself to avoid conflict.....its not so much about not hurting or being hurt....its about avoiding a fracas....avoiding conflict...its much easier to let things slide...

But if I'm directly confronted....I'll speak my mind and let the cards fall as they may...I'm not that concerned with other's feelings when they are bold enough to challenge my beliefs.


----------



## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

by giving birth


----------



## Kizuna (Jul 30, 2011)

INFJ - had people of all ages hate me for what I thought was "no reason", but recently understood that they probably disliked my independence of mind. Many tried to convince me my religious faith was bluff, others tried to make me feel stupid, inadequate or inferior and some just plainly stated things like "I can't stand people like Miya" (very insecure social cases they were). Unfortunately they failed to achieve what they longed for, but it left me scarred because I assumed everywhere I went there would be people who hated me right from the start just for being me. I'm happy to say I meet much nicer and more open-minded people as I get older (maybe they're getting wiser?).


----------



## RedPhoenix (Jun 23, 2014)

Leaf on the Wind said:


> INTP here.
> We don't mean to offend. It's just that social mores don't come naturally to us and part of us always wants to tell the truth, even if the truth hurts. Actually, especially if the truth hurts (under the logic of "would you rather we lie and you keep on going, or find out how bad it is and change course?). And this leads to correcting people when they talk; we would rather the truth be out then perpetuate a lie or a mistake, even if it's annoying, aggravating and comes off as condescending.


Seriously! Doesn't it mean that I care more if I'm willing to tell you the truth so you can be aware? I just don't understand why you would coddle something that would only hurt in the long run....


----------



## ferroequinologist (Jul 27, 2012)

Cellar Door said:


> Sure and INTP can have some Fe development, but it's their inferior function which by definition means it has to be a weakness relative to their other functions. According to socionics model A, Fi is in the INTP's super-ego block, *which means they're actually not terrible at it* (Note LII = INTP in MBTI)


Do you know what that means in real life? It means INTPs express Fi focused feelings with Fe language, and that totally messes me up. ;-) I really can't explain it, so that's the best I can do at explaining it...


----------

