# Giving A Guy a Friendship Bracelet



## bluejeansandcoffee (Nov 23, 2013)

First off, I'd like to apologize if I could have put this thread in a better place. I'm still learning the ropes around here 

I have a close male friend who I have developed romantic feelings for. I was going to say 'fallen in love with' but that sounded a tweensy bit drastic.

He's an INFJ. I read that INFJ's like homemade presents or anything with a lot of thought put into it. I gave myself a little pat on the back when I read that, because I spent the last month tying him a friendship bracelet while I watch television. I was going to give him it for Christmas. Don't worry, it's totally manly. It's, like, moss green and brown and tan with a thick band and NO sparkles or anything ridiculous like that.

Okay, so honestly, I'm a little worried about the 'manly friendship bracelet'. I'm afraid I'll give it to him and he'll think "Wow...this is weird. And now I have to wear it to not hurt her feelings."

What I'd like to happen is him to have him think, "Wow...this is great. She spent so much time on this and it looks really cool and masculine. I'll always think of her when I look at it and I'm never taking it off, ever." 

I thought about not giving him anything, but I've already told him I'm getting him something. And now he's going to think he has to get me something. This is probably really petty, and I'm freaking out over nothing.
Any advice?


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## Volant (Oct 5, 2013)

I had the same situation with an INTJ I know. I'd make him all sorts of cool stuff because I didn't know how else to show him that I liked him, and he always felt awful that he had nothing to give me in return, because he was neither artsy nor crafty, and he didn't know how to reciprocate my affection. However, I told him to be honest with me and told him to tell me straight-up whether he liked what I made for him. He always did, and I told him I didn't expect anything in return (although in my head I thought it would be nice to get something back, but that's only human, to want to exchange gifts instead of freely giving/receiving them). 

Just give it to him and expect nothing in return. That way, if he does give you something, it'll be even more of a surprise. And if he seems to recoil at the thought of a lovingly-handmade, manly bracelet, offer to make another one in pink sparkles and glitter. XD Naw, he should like it. If I was a guy and a girl gave me a friendship bracelet I'd be flattered. 

Best of luck!


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## bluejeansandcoffee (Nov 23, 2013)

Volant said:


> And if he seems to recoil at the thought of a lovingly-handmade, manly bracelet, offer to make another one in pink sparkles and glitter. XD


Lol, that put things in perspective.  Thanks for the advice, I'll need it.  Maybe I'll just give it to him, but call it a 'wristwatch band with no place to put the watch' X)


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## stiletto (Oct 26, 2013)

As long as he doesn't think it's a Friend-zoned bracelet.


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## bluejeansandcoffee (Nov 23, 2013)

stiletto said:


> As long as he doesn't think it's a Friend-zoned bracelet.


Ouch. I didn't even think of that. Any ideas on how to avoid making it seem like a friend-zoned bracelet?


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## Scelerat (Oct 21, 2012)

bluejeansandcoffee said:


> Ouch. I didn't even think of that. Any ideas on how to avoid making it seem like a friend-zoned bracelet?


Get a metallic clasp of some kind and engrave it with "Not a friend-zone bracelet, wink wink"


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## bluejeansandcoffee (Nov 23, 2013)

Scelerat said:


> Get a metallic clasp of some kind and engrave it with "Not a friend-zone bracelet, wink wink"


I don't know if I'm quite brave enough.  Although, with this guy, it's either that or engraving "I like you (in more than a friend way)" on his forehead and signing my name. Thinking on it, the metallic clasp isn't such a bad idea...


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## Velasquez (Jul 3, 2012)

Haha, I remember your INFJ friend. The only thing I'll say is, as a male INTP, I'd love it if one of my friends made me a friendship bracelet <3


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## Scelerat (Oct 21, 2012)

bluejeansandcoffee said:


> I don't know if I'm quite brave enough.  Although, with this guy, it's either that or engraving "I like you (in more than a friend way)" on his forehead and signing my name. Thinking on it, the metallic clasp isn't such a bad idea...


Not a bad idea. In my opinion every sex-ed class for women should start with the following poster:


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## girlinthemoon (Nov 12, 2013)

bluejeansandcoffee said:


> Ouch. I didn't even think of that. Any ideas on how to avoid making it seem like a friend-zoned bracelet?


Maybe just don't even title it a friendship bracelet? Just tell him "I made this bracelet for you." ?? Since you didn't make it to look girly, if you don't call it a girly or childish name, I can't imagine he'll be turned off by it.  And it's true, INFJs really appreciate thoughtful/handmade gifts. I'd rather wear the ugliest bracelet in the world that someone made for me (I'm not implying that your bracelet is ugly - I'm sure it's wonderful! I'm just referring to your fear of him feeling obligated to wear it) than the most expensive bracelet someone bought mindlessly.

I'm sure he'll love it.


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## dvnj22 (Apr 24, 2013)

Why don't you ask him out? It's very annoying when people do stuff like that, not the bracelet thing, I would like that. But if you like him don't play games, giving him stuff all the time hoping he'll finally notice.


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## bluejeansandcoffee (Nov 23, 2013)

@Scelerat Haha, I've been told that by a few guys. But there's always the opposite side of the spectrum, where you say or do something minor and the guy starts assuming you're into him. Some people mistake manners for flirting.
@girlinthemoon Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. It'll probably not be too awkward. I've given him weirder things. Like my half-eaten s'more. That's another, highly embarrassing, story. And thanks for the encouragement 
@Velasquez You remembered! Thanks, sometimes a guy's perspective is what's really needed in these situations. 
@dvnj22 Really, it's just a quirk with me, but I like to be the one asked out. I get kind of sick of doing the pursuing and if he wants to date me, I figure he would have asked me by now. This way it's still a friend thing, if that makes any sense. I don't mean to play games, either, I honestly just want to give him a present. It's hard for me though, because I've never given him anything before, except for the s'more (see above) and that was in a moment of brief weirdness and totally does not count as a present. XP


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## Scelerat (Oct 21, 2012)

bluejeansandcoffee said:


> @_Scelerat_ Haha, I've been told that by a few guys. But there's always the opposite side of the spectrum, where you say or do something minor and the guy starts assuming you're into him. Some people mistake manners for flirting.


Those are not opposite ends of the spectrum, the causality is linked. 

Case 1: Signals are sent but are not received by the receiver. 

Case 2: Signals are not sent but are perceived as being sent and received by the receiver. 

In both cases, the cause is a signal error, where the receiver misinterprets the signal. In case 1 as not being there and in case 2 as being there. Of course, the receiver could receive the signal and elect not to act on it, just as the receiver in case 2 receives a signal which isn't there and acts upon it. 

Now, in both cases the problem would be solved by the use of a green light for yes and red light for no. There could even be an addition of an orange light for "maybe" if you want to.


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## Alaya (Nov 11, 2009)

I'd feel really good if someone gave me a bracelet. More than the bracelet itself, it's the time it took you to do it which would mean a lot. If that INFJ friend of yours is anything like me, you'll receive nothing but hugs hehe


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## bluejeansandcoffee (Nov 23, 2013)

@Scelerat That's true. I meant on opposite sides of the Romantic Signals Miscommunication Error spectrum. You really just have to define the spectrum before you figure out the sides. If only people did carry traffic lights. Life would be so much simpler. Maybe not very mysterious or romantic, but a whole lot less frustrating. 

@Gnothi Seauton Is that your real name? Because it's really cool, and I might want to use an easier-to-pronounce version of it in a novel. Okay, sorry for the off-topic blurt there. Yeah, my friend is a hugger, so I can see that happening  I wonder if it's just something you have in common, or if it's an INFJ thing. I like making things, so I just wanted assurance he'd not be freaked out by it. Thanks for the encouragement


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