# How do you deal with feeling lonely?



## ScarlettHayden (Jun 8, 2012)

Pseudonimum said:


> I think you'll have to seek for the true motivations behind your self imposing loneliness. Nothing comes out of nowhere, everything has a reason. Perhaps you're not aware of the causes of a specific symptom and the symptom itself looks like disconnected from any cause-and-effect relation, but there's no such thing as an effect with no cause.
> 
> If you agree you build walls to keep others away, then you have to focus on the reasons why you built 'em. Like @_boogie_ said, it is also true that we born and die 100% alone, but you shouldn't use this as a means to justify yourself. If being alone bothers you, do not settle until you solve your problems, for while you don't pay them the due attention, they won't go away. Like you said, you keep people away and think that opening yourself is pointless, and on the other hand you desperately want to not be so alone. That's inconsistent. Why do you want something and on the other hand do what'll prevent you from getting what you want? Think about it calmly, always trying to look at it as straight as possible, being aware of the fact that increasing your life quality will probably demand from you a general life approach change.


Mmm.. I know the reasons why I do it. But it's not something that can be changed over night. I feel like it's going to take me my whole lifetime to rebuild my views on this. I also see the inconsistency and it's frustrating. I can't directly just 'change', so for now I feel like I'm stuck, regardless of whether I am actually moving or not.


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## Dental Floss Tycoon (Apr 4, 2011)

ScarlettHayden said:


> Mmm.. I know the reasons why I do it. But it's not something that can be changed over night. I feel like it's going to take me my whole lifetime to rebuild my views on this. I also see the inconsistency and it's frustrating. I can't directly just 'change', so for now I feel like I'm stuck, regardless of whether I am actually moving or not.


Nope, it can't be changed over night. However, humans are not as different as we think we are from other animals, which means we also respond to conditioning, positive and negative reinforcement. You show a few dysfunctional behaviors and thoughts, which causes you a great deal of emotional stress; it means you'll have to accustom your mind to new behaviors. I believe that changing a pattern of harmful behavior is like to stop being alcoholic, it takes long and demands a great deal of effort, but there's hope. Just keep on insisting and don't give up.


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## princeharvey55 (Sep 16, 2013)

If you are lonesome and wanting to know an answer to cure it by yourself. Then i'm afraid you can't find some answer on your on. Cause the main reason you are feeling the way you feel right now is because you are lonely. So i suggest its either you buried yourself with doings like plans and job, etc. Or find some companion if not romantically then just those who share some of your hobbies and enjoy your company. ^^ That i guess will make you feel good.


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## Mandy Meister (Jan 7, 2014)

Lately, I've been having a bit of a problem. I wake up everyday with this sinking kind of feeling in my heart because I really want someone to be close to. I have friends, but they won't talk about or give any of my interests a try, (because my interests are "weird"), and whenever I really need someone to talk to it feels like they're never there.

And even more recently I've begun to crave a romantic relationship. I want someone to hold, someone to talk to, someone to comfort when they're sad, and someone to comfort me when I'm sad. It's really becoming a struggle to deal with the fact that I don't have someone like that...

So I how do I deal with this? Or, how do you deal with this? Some advice would definitely be appreciated.


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## Velasquez (Jul 3, 2012)

I am always lonely all of the time, it's just a constant background noise for me, and I'm fairly convinced that there's no cure and it'll stay the same for the rest of my life. If I want to reduce my loneliness, what seems to work for me is just isolating myself from the world as much as possible and not talking to anybody. I can go for two weeks without talking to anybody and feel far less lonely than I do if I spend two weeks talking to loads of people. Don't do that yourself though, it's not good advice.


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## 0vercast (Sep 24, 2012)

I've been lonely for much of my time. For a while now I've been working on changing ''how to think'', and one way is trying to find the positive in everything, no matter how bleak it might seem. I think of my alone time now as a chance to better understand and balance myself.


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## angeleyes (Feb 20, 2013)

Myself? Find a bunch of guys who dress alike and follow them around.


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