# Do you care about what others think of you as a person?



## Happy (Oct 10, 2008)

Just wanted to know if you care about what others think of you.
http://personalitycafe.com/forum/


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## mcgooglian (Nov 12, 2008)

No, I don't care as much about what people think about as why they think that way about me. Someone could tell me that they thought i was a jerk and I wouldn't care, but if they told me why in a reasonable way, then I'd be willing to listen.


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## matilda (May 21, 2009)

I do, but I pretend that I don't. That's bad, isn't it? :|


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## de l'eau salée (Nov 10, 2008)

I don't care when it comes to aesthetics, but when it comes to character, yes, I do. I wish I didn't care about that so much though.


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## carolina24 (May 8, 2009)

Depends on the person and sometimes circumstance. 

Whenever I meet someone that I don't know, I get to be myself.With people that are in my "inner circle" I tend to become another person. I become whatever they need or want me to be.(Or, what I pressume they want me to be.) sad but, true. Accepting that I was good enough to start with does not come to mind whenever beginning well, maintaining a relationship. So, you could say that I care what my "inner circle people" think. I could care less what someone who doesn't know me thinks. I'm an actress in the movie called "life"


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## Kevinaswell (May 6, 2009)

No.

I actually really enjoy making people believe wildly outlandish things about me.

Highschool was A LOT of fun for me.

I didn't do it nearly the way I was suppose to, though. Good times, good times. Idiots.


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## mcgooglian (Nov 12, 2008)

Kevinaswell said:


> I actually really enjoy making people believe wildly outlandish things about me.


Me too, it's gotten to the point where people never seem to know when to take me seriously or not.


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## de l'eau salée (Nov 10, 2008)

mcgooglian said:


> Me too, it's gotten to the point where people never seem to know when to take me seriously or not.


Haha, but that can be a little frustrating if I'm using it in the same context as you are. Joking around is fun, but not being able to tell when you're serious can cause some unintended uh-oh's, and I'd feel too afraid to tell you anything personal because I dunno if you'd take it seriously. This is generally speaking, though.


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## Kevinaswell (May 6, 2009)

mcgooglian said:


> Me too, it's gotten to the point where people never seem to know when to take me seriously or not.


I know. 

Which is SUCH A FUN POINT.


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## mcgooglian (Nov 12, 2008)

Silhouetree said:


> Haha, but that can be a little frustrating if I'm using it in the same context as you are. Joking around is fun, but not being able to tell when you're serious can cause some unintended uh-oh's, and I'd feel too afraid to tell you anything personal because I dunno if you'd take it seriously. This is generally speaking, though.


It can be frustrating at times since I can rarely have a serious discussion with people though I mostly take advantage of it and mess around with people. Only my dad has told me stuff that was really personal (and even then he'd had a bit to drink), usually I'm the one people go to for help.


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## mcgooglian (Nov 12, 2008)

Kevinaswell said:


> I know.
> 
> Which is SUCH A FUN POINT.


Definitely, I just love their reactions when they try to figure out what I'm actually being serious about (especially since I speak the same way all the time, unless I'm being very serious).


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## Kevinaswell (May 6, 2009)

mcgooglian said:


> Definitely, I just love their reactions when they try to figure out what I'm actually being serious about (especially since I speak the same way all the time, unless I'm being very serious).


Check and check.


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## vanWinchester (May 29, 2009)

Honestly, I am not sure what to pick in the poll; because it depends. 

I do care what my close friends think (especially if they would tell me that I have been acting off or something); but I do not really care what the mass thinks. BUT I am interested to know WHY they think so. Just for kicks. 
And I am especially interested to know WHY people think so, if it is something completely off and untrue. I then am curious how *they* came to think so. Then again, mostly it is because their pride is hurt or something like that. As in: them trying to *punish* me with that. Yeah, good luck. =P


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## thewindlistens (Mar 12, 2009)

mcgooglian said:


> Me too, it's gotten to the point where people never seem to know when to take me seriously or not.


This applies to me so much... It isn't even funny anymore.


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## Closet Extrovert (Mar 11, 2009)

I definitely don't care what people think of me. I live for *ME*, and *NO ONE* else!


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## Sleepy (Jan 18, 2009)

I want everybody to like me.


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## Bean (May 29, 2009)

carolina24 said:


> Depends on the person and sometimes circumstance.
> 
> Whenever I meet someone that I don't know, I get to be myself.With people that are in my "inner circle" I tend to become another person. I become whatever they need or want me to be.(Or, what I presume they want me to be.) sad but, true. Accepting that I was good enough to start with does not come to mind whenever beginning well, maintaining a relationship. So, you could say that I care what my "inner circle people" think. I could care less what someone who doesn't know me thinks. I'm an actress in the movie called "life"


Yeah, that.

I think I see it a little differently though; all the "parts" I play are a part of my personality. If I need one "part" for a certain person, say, my best friend needs someone to hit the bars with, I can do that. My husband needs some extra ego stroking, I can do that. I don't feel like it's sad, I feel like it's a strength of my personality. What's hard is having the strength to take time for myself when I need it.


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## kph5034 (Jun 2, 2009)

In my opinion, it is impossible to not care what others think of me. It could just be my enfj type personality that causes this, but I am constantly aware of what others may think of me. I'm always out to get people to like me, and if they don't then I am consumed by guilt. I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE MAD AT ME... for any reason. I also don't handle criticism very well, it's something I'm working on. Everytime someone says something that hints at the idea of them having a negative opinion about me i breakdown... usually not knowing what to say in return.

Almost any time I'm in a social setting I'm wondering what people are thinking. I don't only wonder what they are thinking about me, but also things like how comfortable they are, if they are enjoying themselves, and I also try to see what people think about other people. 

Also, one more opinion of mine... It's impossible to go through life never caring what people think about you. At one point or another your going to try to impress someone somehow... that means you care about their opinion of you. In today's socially connected and demanding world, it's necessary to give two shits and a fuck. =)


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## TreeBob (Oct 11, 2008)

I'm with vanShotgun, I don't care what strangers think of me and usually not even my friends but I care if I make them upset. I am the centre of attention roud:


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## eccentricvirgo8 (May 31, 2009)

I used to care more when I was younger, but over time I've cared less and less what most people (except for those who are around me quite a bit) think, because I have started evaluating who they are and whether their opinions really matter that much. I am obviously not going to listen to the criticisms a dirtbag has about me since that person can't make the effort to improve. Sometimes it's fun making strangers think things that are totally off - most of the replies in this thread are similar to how I act when it comes to strangers. 

I actually just hate criticism in general if it's not constructive. It is not that I take negative, hurtful criticism personally, it's that I usually find it illogical, and know that if I bring it up to the person that they are not being logical or they should cut their crap, they're only going to make an even bigger overly emotional display of negativity which is just going to annoy the hell out of me. I would just rather they not talk at all!


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## slowriot (Nov 11, 2008)

I care about what people mean of me but still am not too worried if people dont like me. The saying "life is too short for grudges" (or what it says) says it best.

It depends on circumstances and who they are. I was also more aware of it at a younger age, but now I've come to the conclusion you cant please everybody and there will always be someone that dont like you.


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## kiwigrl (Apr 27, 2010)

Hell yeah! I'm ENFJ, I want to be everybody's friend! :crazy: I can't stand it if I feel that people don't like me. I usually win them over though. :wink:


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## cavarice (Jan 30, 2010)

I care much more about the _consequences_ of what people think of me, than the opinions _in and of themselves_. I don't internalize the value systems behind people's negative judgments about me. However, when people in general dislike you, it can have real-world consequences that are tangible far beyond the level of "oh, they don't like me."

Outside of situations with real consequences, I'm pretty apathetic. I am EASILY hurt by people whom I've formed relationships with, but that's a trait most people have.


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## Nasmoe (Nov 11, 2009)

Yes, somewhat. I don't want people to think negatively of me and I never try to be off putting or something like that to anyone, but then again I can't help what people think so it doesn't really matter.


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## Alima (Mar 28, 2010)

To be honest, I think it depends on my mood. Sometimes I really don't give a shit about what others think, and sometimes I'm really paranoid.


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## jack london (Aug 27, 2010)

I know that I don't mean anyone harm so if you don't like me its sounds like its your problem and not mine. :dry:


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## Kilgore Trout (Jun 25, 2010)

I choose a cool, calm, _no_, instead of _Hell No!_

_Hell No!_ seems like a defense mechanism of misplaced insecurity. 

Why would somebody scream Hell No! at a computer screen unless there was an ulterior motive? Why is the response so enthusiastic, angry, upset, or passionate?


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## The Proof (Aug 5, 2009)

it'll be a cold day in the congo before I start giving a damn


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## yumiii (Sep 5, 2010)

Well, if it's the people who matter to me, then of course I care. Too much sometimes, perhaps.
If it's just someone I don't even know, then I don't think I do at all. Unless he/she can give me proof that I am what they say I am. It takes more than one mere meeting and one situation to know a person, I believe.


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

I do.... trying to figure out the root of the problem


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## SuperunknownVortex (Dec 4, 2009)

To some extent I do.


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## RedFairy (Aug 16, 2010)

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." 
-- Theodor Seuss Geisel 


That sums it up for me!


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## Gracie (Dec 13, 2009)

Good question, but the importance I place on what others think of me depends entirely on what I think of them. If I have nothing but contempt for a person, consequently, I really don't give a shit what they make of me. Someone I care about, though... I really do care. I will find it much harder, sometimes, to take criticism from someone I love than a complete stranger.


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## Steve MD (Jun 11, 2010)

Yeah, I do care...


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## Oleas (Jul 22, 2010)

I chose "yes, of course" but thought it was a bit exaggerated. I care about what people think of me, but not in every situation... I guess I should've chosen maybe!!

How can you not care at all? That sounds very arrogant to me. (no offense to those who chose Hell no)


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## Coccinellidae (Mar 16, 2010)

I wouldn't be honest if I say no. I also wouldn't be honest if I say only yes. I think the golden middle course is "I somewhat do, I somewhat don't."


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## naciketas (Jul 17, 2010)

This is a very good question, this has been one of the main problems that lead to conflicts and hatred among humanity. No, I would not give it a great thought.


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## Dalien (Jul 21, 2010)

I simply voted maybe. Too many intangibles involved.


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## PulpFictionFan (Jul 12, 2010)

I don't give a fuck about what others think of me. If people don't like me, they can kiss my ass.


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## weka (Sep 17, 2010)

Yeah I do, but not in the way you might think. I have this disconnect where you can call me all kinds of things and I'll agree with you and laugh and not blink an eye and tell you I'm much worse. But if you hit some old wound, I'll suddenly go quite calm and reserved and will only ever defend myself, like some kind of mental martial arts. Then later, if you or someone else demonstrates the behaviour that hurt me, I''ll involuntarily construct siuations were I can tear you apart. I do it without thinking or conscience. Sounds terrible doesn't it? And it matters to me because I don't want to live like that. That's just knee jerk dog eat dog stuff and life can be heaps better. The "shadow work" I've been doing over the past couple of years has been to address that.

On the positive side, I find an over-abundance of positive reviews to be distracting. (not that it's usually a concern :laughing: ) But I accept them graciously as they're usually more necessary to the person giving the review than me recieving it. I remember reading a trait of a character in Steinbeck's _Log from the Sea of Cortez_, where he says this guy said that recieving is more important and more difficult to do than giving. It takes more humility to accept than to give. 

It's nice to find people who can lay down a positive comment or review that meets a situation exactly, not overdone, not reserved and when it is the right thing to say at the right time. That's the flow of life I'm after.


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## USAirlinesLetter (May 25, 2011)

I really don't care about what other people are saying about me as long as i have nothing to be guilty about. As long as i am happy and contented with what i'm doing, it's good!


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

For the most part, no. Personal hygiene and self-care, yes.

If people want to judge, it truly usually is their own insecurities they are projecting.

So when I see people sit around and gossip, I say to myself, "How sad? Does that really bring happiness? Or is it a gigantic pity party?"

Sometimes, people like to make rationalizations about others to defend their own egos.

Those who are truly happy with themselves really do not feel the need to engage in such behavior, because they are so overjoyed with falling in love with life that nothing else (all the pattiness) really _doesn't matter!_ It is like being on a natural high. No need for intrusion from all the negativity. No thankyoumam!!


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## TheWaffle (Aug 4, 2010)

I say I don't, but 70% of the time, I actually do.


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## ctang15 (May 13, 2011)

Of course I do!.....to some point.

I don't because:
People already think I'm weird, and I take pride in that. It's actually rather amusing to watch what other people think of me as I am. I won't go out of my way to fit others' expectations.

I do because:
If they think I'm psycho/dangerous, I'll have even less freedom!:crazy:


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## GraphicallyAlex (Jul 23, 2010)

I think i do... but never enough to change....


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## Waveshine (Mar 18, 2011)

Not really. I think it's stupid to change who you are and neglect what you really need/want just to be socially accepted.


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## dagnytaggart (Jun 6, 2010)

Yes. Unfortunately, professional success isn't all merit-based. You need to maintain a positive image in order to ascend.


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## etherealuntouaswithin (Dec 7, 2010)

Certainly,though It's not at all as pressing as what I think of myself.


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## saffron (Jan 30, 2011)

It depends on whether I respect their opinions in regards to character and how much they actually know about me.


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## sprinkles (Feb 7, 2010)

Not really. In my experience, what they think is probably wrong. For the most part it isn't worth my time to worry about it. If they are receptive enough to see clearly, or better yet not think much at all, then they don't need my help to 'correct' any views. If they can't do that already then any effort I make is probably wasted.


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