# Is "I'm never going to date or have sex with X race" racist?



## Blessed Frozen Cells (Apr 3, 2013)

Before yelling "this is madness! Stop with the PC!" lol Hold onto your horses.

I'm not saying having preferences is racist. I live in Asia and all I see and interact is Asian people 99% of the time. I've dated mostly Asian but I've never thought of it like "I will only date Asian people. No Blacks. No Whites. No Latino. Etc." I haven't date any Latino so far and all Latinos I've seen were only on TV. 

However, I'm not the best source to rely on because I don't experience sexual attraction. For myself I'm basing this on aesthetic attraction I've experienced and people I've dated. I want to hear from sexual people about what they think on this subject.

I do think it's ok to prefer one race over the others but it's a bit ridiculous when people go and eliminate races from the dating pool "I'm never going to date or have sex with X race" because there are attractive people everywhere from every race.


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

I think you might appreciate this article, which sums up my views on a topic that's been discussed ad infinitum:

‘No Blacks’ Is Not a Sexual Preference. It’s Racism - The Daily Beast


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## Blessed Frozen Cells (Apr 3, 2013)

WamphyriThrall said:


> I think you might appreciate this article, which sums up my views on a topic that's been discussed ad infinitum:
> 
> â€˜No Blacksâ€™ Is Not a Sexual Preference. Itâ€™s Racism - The Daily Beast


I really liked this part 


> “While it may feel like our desires are our own, in reality they are influenced heavily by social norms,” explained Callander. “For me, the findings of this study are a reminder that even though society and individuals may actively reject racism, racial prejudices are increasingly subtle and they can find their way into even the most private and personal corners of our lives.”


Thanks. Because the first time I came across this "never with X race" mindset is from an individual who is not at all racist in other ways. I thought they were the last person who would say this kind of stuff. It really surprised me.

I rarely find anyone of any race aesthetically attractive and even I have these moments of "Wow, that person is really good looking" from time to time, I don't see how it doesn't work this way for sexual people.


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## Mair (Feb 17, 2014)

No , it's a preference.


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## DemonD (Jun 12, 2012)

Yes it's racist.

Saying "I've never dated or slept with [insert race here] and there are no indications that I ever will." is not racist, that's a preference or conclusion.


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## Kyandigaru (Mar 11, 2012)

Mair said:


> No , it's a preference.


exactly. 

After looking at my own life and the men i am around. I find that black men for me are not at all where i see myself marrying. I prefer latino or white. They are sexy and alluring to me.


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## Blackknight72 (Jul 19, 2015)

Mair said:


> No , it's a preference.


Well, a racial preference is racist by definition, is it not? I have nothing against racial preferences btw.


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## kirakishou (Sep 1, 2015)

I wouldn't go out purposely looking for a race I am not really attracted to, but if one of them won my heart, I wont deny them. That would be dumb as shit.


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## Cephalonimbus (Dec 6, 2010)

So what if it is racist? Nobody owes anyone sex, and it's irrelevant what your reasons are for not wanting to fuck someone. I personally think it's weird to dismiss an entire race like that, but that's just me. If people want zero black dicks in their life then that's their right. I know it's technically not on the list of universal human rights, but it might as well be if we start villifying people for having sexual preferences.


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## Alpha_Orionis (Jan 18, 2015)

I think that it is ok if someone says that they would not date any person from a specific race. For example, i know that i would never date someone who is black or has slightly darker color then the average caucasian. But i am not racist. I respect all races and judge people for their personality. That is simply my preference.It is not different then someones preference for not dating fat, short, tall or skinny people.


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## Ziwosa (Sep 25, 2010)

Going of on the racism definition as on https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Racism

Then yes, it would be racism. Because you're dismissing something based solely on race. A prejudice.

Note that that doesn't mean someone can ask you to sleep with them and use the racist card in a defense when rejected.


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## Sunn (Mar 12, 2014)

Kyandigaru said:


> exactly.
> 
> After looking at my own life and the men i am around. *I find that black men for me are not at all* where i see myself marrying. I prefer latino or white. They are sexy and alluring to me.


I'm curious how you came to acknowledging this/what caused it.


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## stiletto (Oct 26, 2013)

Yes it's racist because your preference is influenced by social norms.
But it's okay because it's your body and choice. As long as you aren't hurting others with your rights. 

Additionally, just be aware of your lens. With the influence of the media and past generations, there are little to no people that live without a racial bias somewhere in their minds.


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## kirakishou (Sep 1, 2015)

stiletto said:


> Additionally, just be aware of your lens. With the influence of the media and past generations, there are little to no people that live without a racial bias somewhere in their minds.


Well I dunno, I find certain aspects/features of certain races to be 'ugly' and it gives them a -5 on Reaction Rolls. But it isn't influenced by media at all, I just don't like it. I grew up with a nazi skinhead father and luckily didn't take after him or his friends.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

Preference.

I also usually don't like pale, light haired and eyed men either, doesn't mean I'm racist against white people lol


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## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

Maybe, but this seems impractical in terms of racial concerns. There's not any real way to force people to be open to dating all groups. Ensuring legal equality and trying harder to integrate (looking at you, US school system) and teaching children about and from different cultures and perspectives will inherently influence people to be more open to other races. 

(The thing that's racist is not the physical preference but that the person saying this is seeing race first instead of individuals first. If you've never felt attracted to anyone of [x] race before then that is what it is, but writing the whole race off up front is what's problematic - arguably the same for any physical feature.) 

Now, if you want to be stereotypical, I guess that's your choice, but I get the distinct suspicion that a lot of people saying stuff like this are the ones who are then turning around and whining about how hard it is to find a good partner.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

angelfish said:


> Maybe, but this seems impractical in terms of racial concerns. There's not any real way to force people to be open to dating all groups. Ensuring legal equality and trying harder to integrate (looking at you, US school system) and teaching children about and from different cultures and perspectives will inherently influence people to be more open to other races.
> 
> The thing that's racist is not the physical preference but that the person saying this is seeing race first instead of individuals first. If you've never felt attracted to anyone of [x] race before then that is what it is, but writing the whole race off up front is what's problematic.


It seems the same to me as not wanting to date short men, for example.


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## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

If seems incoherent.


Let this represent pure sexual attraction and nothing else; since the question seems to revolve around purely on visual arousal and stimuli.


If you're refusing to have sexual relations (physical intimacy), with an *entire* race: because of said race, while still holding sexual attraction to the people of that race, then list your ''reasoning'' for this that is not a dense generalization or empiric nonsense, and supported by fact - to why you won't engage with only: *physical relations *with said person of one race, while being attracted to said race.

This may be racist and it is also a *preference*.

Regardless, people are able to have preferences, and if they just happen to be racist preferences, there is no reason to share / voice them - since there are currently no* ethical *arguments in favor of racism.

However, if there is* no* said attraction - then there is no said leeway for racist sexual preferences. (facepalm).

Which is why ''homosexual men'' aren't ''sexist'' to women.


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## Kito (Jan 6, 2012)

This is a ridiculous thing to have to justify. So what if someone doesn't find themselves attracted to an entire race? That's not anyone's personal problem and they can't help themselves for it. I swear this is just digging for problems where there are none.


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## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

Living dead said:


> It seems the same to me as not wanting to date short men, for example.


Right, you might be biologically wired to a certain extent, or it's just your choice. Both are fine. 

But race is a little different. Consider... 

"White":
















"Black": 
















"Latina":
















"Asian":
















Race is so incredibly varied as to be almost pointless as a grouping. It's not like saying "I don't like men shorter than me". It's like saying "I don't like this whole group of people with some physical resemblance and some suggestion of certain ethnic backgrounds". I mean, much of the time you have no idea what a certain individual has in their background. I look white as can be but we have at least one documented black ancestor in my family. So someone doesn't date black people... at what percentage? 3/8ths?



Kito said:


> This is a ridiculous thing to have to justify. So what if someone doesn't find themselves attracted to an entire race? That's not anyone's personal problem and they can't help themselves for it. I swear this is just digging for problems where there are none.


Personally, I don't care what random people like, but this one seems like a pretty lucid line of questioning to me. Why does one not find themselves attracted to an entire race? Is it that they don't find themself attracted to dark hair (ok!), or are they making sociocultural assumptions? 

I really hate PC stuff in general but this one is a good question, IMO. Writing off an entire race is weird. It's not the same as just saying you're not attracted to green eyes or tall people. It's not the same as not being attracted to male physical features. It's not one biological set. Race contains incredible variation, and is often more cultural than physical. So too are people's dating preferences - which, hey, if you don't want to date someone from Chinese culture, that's your choice, but I think it's valuable to be real about it being the culture and not the physical appearance.


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## Purple Skies (Aug 31, 2015)

How is it racist to not want to sleep/have a relationship with someone you're not attracted to? 

Being an attractive person ≠ attracting all people. 

I've watched lots of Bollywood films, and they sometimes have very attractive male leads but I know had I been in a situation where someone that attractive was at my work place or even there during high school years, I wouldn't like them cause I just don't find Indian men appealing in the romantic sense. The same goes with biracial guys like Chris Brown and Jesse Williams, no denying they're handsome, but I'm not drawn to them like that. 

It's a bit extreme to say the word *never* cause there are people who don't look ''stereotypically'' like their race, but I don't think there's anything wrong with saying -I don't like this, I like that.


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

The problem is more that blindly accepting everyone's "preferences" basically justifies racist assumptions, even if the individuals behind them are not racist themselves. Writing an entire group of people off and broadcasting it on a public dating site makes entire populations feel unwanted, which might be fine for those doing the rejecting, but not so much for those who feel they need their own space, or to put up with the way things are. 

I'd argue that these preferences are socially conditioned for most, and should be examined, but I'm also not in the habit of telling others how to live their lives. If it wasn't reminiscent of "no blacks/dogs/etc" or aimed at races already deemed undesirable by society and the media, my views might be different. It's just hard to believe someone would be so flooded with messages from this or that race that they'd *have* to put a warning up to keep the undesirables away.

And if people are willing to acknowledge white people come in all sorts of shapes and colors, why can't they do the same towards blacks, Asians, Latinos/Hispanics?

Oh, and I hate it when people bring up homosexuality, which is more-or-less genetic and present from an early age, with something that hasn't been proven (there is no "I only date this race" gene or sexuality). A better comparison might be how *some* gay men react with disgust when discussing women's parts, or have a "no women allowed" mentality. Obviously sexist.


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## Kaisikudo (Mar 26, 2011)

Relevant:


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## Northcrest (Sep 21, 2012)

kirakishou said:


> I wouldn't go out purposely looking for a race I am not really attracted to, but if one of them won my heart, I wont deny them. That would be dumb as shit.


This. I've always had racial preference towards white and hispanic women. That doesnt mean im racist against my own race, i've had many crushes on black women before. And if i was to marry one i would be happy with that.


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## la_revolucion (May 16, 2013)

To flat out say that you would never date someone from a certain race is definitely racist to me. You can say something like.... I am not generally attracted to pale skinned, blonde haired and blue eyed men. That's an actual preference I have. However, my current boyfriend is all these things. He didn't fit into my normal type but I ended up falling in love with him and of course find him attractive. That's because I am not prejudiced against someone just because they look a certain way or come from a certain place.


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## aef8234 (Feb 18, 2012)

It's as racist as prefering a certain age is age..cist..?sist..iunno. Agist?Ageist.


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## Donovan (Nov 3, 2009)

i think there's a difference between realizing that a particular person is not the sort that immediately turns your head--as in, "your type"--and then ruling them out altogether if they're not. 
but people are going to see things in different ways, and to take something that must be partly inborn and heavily nuanced by the person from which it comes, and slapping a one-size-fits-all label on it when that initial urge is probably largely misunderstood in general... is kind of silly. 

for some people i think that inborn sense of "otherness" isn't socialized properly, and can progress to a level that we call "racist", and eventually can fit the social connotation of actual racism. 

but i'd say that's quite a range of "natural, potentially healthy human who's open-minded enough to overwrite animal urges and more or less mesh with their surroundings", all the way to being an all-out racist, and some of what we are calling preferences fall all along that spectrum--not just on either side, but, it's all still seen as "bad"... why? and it's only "bad" in use in much the same way, or in proportion to the gap between all people playing? 


in any case, it'd be great if people could just all end up seeing each other with different perspectives that weren't born from a lack of contact + sensationalist/stereotypical forms of media, but i hardly think the way to go about it is to insist that everyone's personal preference is flawed and needs to be changed immediately, as opposed to just educating and showing trends (maybe)--letting people know what their perception may not show them, and then hope that they are (again) open-minded enough to see others differently (but some people will still just have their preference regardless of what society says, for or against, and it has more to do with their psyche and things they experienced while young, and the younger the individual at the time of "said experience", maybe the more profound even?).


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## AmandaLee (Aug 13, 2014)

Yes, perhaps it is racist, but since no one is entitled to being a part of someone else's personal and/or intimate life, it is one area (perhaps the only one left these days) where one is allowed to be racist. And sexist. And ableist. And age-ist. And height-ist, and pretty much all the -isms you can think of. 

Denying someone a relationship based on certain - seemingly arbitrary - criteria might severely limit the dating pool, but that is solely the problem of the person with the preferences. You can't exactly cry discrimination if you're turned down by someone. LOL Well, you can, of course, but you'd be stupid to, as it's not exactly going to change things, and comparing it to institutionalized discrimination of minorites is just stupid.


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## sink (May 21, 2014)

This is so silly. Would you call a homosexual woman sexist if she says she would never have sex with/date a man? You can't help who you're attracted to, race included.


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## Gossip Goat (Nov 19, 2013)

Writing off an entire race because of their physical attributes is racist in my book.


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## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

I mean attraction is subjective and personal. I'm not sure how you could prove there aren't at least some people who legitimately just aren't attracted to certain races.

Although I don't really see the point of proclaiming this out loud to people. It does seem like it would be motivated by racism a lot of the times, if someone felt the need to constantly tell people "oh yeah, I don't date people of ____ race".


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## Blessed Frozen Cells (Apr 3, 2013)

Yeah, I think it's rude to say No (insert here) because that's like putting up a sign in front of a store not allowing certain groups of people to come in. You can just reject or in this day and age through apps, not respond to them at all. No X is saying you're rejecting them solely because of their race.


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

Sporadic Aura said:


> I mean attraction is subjective and personal. I'm not sure how you could prove there aren't at least some people who legitimately just aren't attracted to certain races.
> 
> Although I don't really see the point of proclaiming this out loud to people. It does seem like it would be motivated by racism a lot of the times, if someone felt the need to constantly tell people "oh yeah, I don't date people of ____ race".


Well, the fact that it's often times white people behind the whole "no blacks, Asians, Latinos" on certain hook-up apps should tell you something (and no, it's not that whites are objectively more attractive). And I've still yet to come across any study explaining that a gene or set of genes say, "You are attracted to this race, but not any others." Won't even get into how muddied the concepts of race are, anyway. 

Those who have never left their bubble tend to have more insular views. It's a lot easier to stereotype and write people off if you don't have to deal with them. You have plenty of stories of those who never thought they would end up with this person, or were actively against it, but later down the line took actions that went completely against that train of thoughts.

Are looks everything? My first girlfriend wasn't that attractive, but there was something about her personality that drew me in. Suppose someone isn't your physical "type" but you fall in love with their personality. 

Attraction is complicated.


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## SilverFalcon (Dec 18, 2014)

It is *racial discrimination* (in scientific, not legal definition), NOT *racism* (though racism may or may not be the reason behind it as much aesthetic preference or anything else).

Think about it.

Discrimination in (not only) sexual partner choice is something very natural and everyone does it big way. 

What is the social influence here is that once it's about race, it falls into vague waters of modern idea of "racism" which somehow transformed from state supported ideology of denial of equal human rights based on supposed superiority or inferiority of races to a thought crime in personal choices.


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

Well, as someone who thinks it is ridiculous to say that you would not date someone shorter than you, or of a certain hair color, etc, saying no to an entire race is definitely disconcerting to me.


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## Ermenegildo (Feb 25, 2014)

Threads of the type *“Should the action (or the omission of the action) x be called y-ism/y-ist?” *a) try to move the assessment of x from the respondents to the surrounding society which condemns or demands y and b) try to keep the respondents busy with the unattractive task of subsuming the clear action x under the fashionable but vague term y which isn't self-explanatory but defined by those who use it for their agenda. The same applies to the question “Is x moral?”.

Threads of the type *“Should I do (or omit the action) x?” *are preferable. Who cares how something should be called? But what I do matters. At least for me. And now _I_ am the judge. This question also invites the respondents to share their experience with x. Those who are interested in legal policy and criminal law can also ask: *“Should the action (or the omission of the action) x be punishable?”*


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## FlaviaGemina (May 3, 2012)

In a way it is racist, but on the other hand, it doesn't do any harm. The racist person is losing out on an opportunity to get to know someone they might be compatible with. So they are only harming themselves. The person of race X doesn't have to bother with the racist person, so they're not wasting their time.


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## Wellsy (Oct 24, 2011)

This is what they teach kids in Thailand. - 9GAG


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## Blessed Frozen Cells (Apr 3, 2013)

Wellsy said:


> This is what they teach kids in Thailand. - 9GAG


:shocked:


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## Wellsy (Oct 24, 2011)

Blessed Frozen Cells said:


> :shocked:


I don't get why its in English XD Unless that's some chart in room they learn English.


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## SpectrumOfThought (Mar 29, 2013)

All preferences are some -ist by definition. Geez.

Some people prefer dating people of their own race. This compulsion to date other races is nonsense and frightening to the point of propaganda. "I prefer people with a certain type" doesn't imply "I hate all others who don't look like this type", the latter being racism, the former not.

You guys are making issues out of nothing.


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## Aya the Abysswalker (Mar 23, 2012)

Like I said in the other thread, no, it's a preference. It's not hurting anyone.


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## Blessed Frozen Cells (Apr 3, 2013)

Lucifel said:


> Like I said in the other thread, no, it's a preference. It's not hurting anyone.


It didn't used to, I guess. But with the internet and online dating and all, we have profiles saying No Blacks, No Asians, etc. As I mentioned somewhere in this thread, it sounds like hanging a sign in front of a shop saying "No X people". That's just rude. Why put up stuff like this when you can reject or ignore someone as an individual. Nobody likes to be told "I don't like you because you are X race."


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## Aya the Abysswalker (Mar 23, 2012)

Blessed Frozen Cells said:


> It didn't used to, I guess. But with the internet and online dating and all, we have profiles saying No Blacks, No Asians, etc. As I mentioned somewhere in this thread, it sounds like hanging a sign in front of a shop saying "No X people". That's just rude. Why put up stuff like this when you can reject or ignore someone as an individual. Nobody likes to be told "I don't like you because you are X race."


I would say that's because they don't want to get answers from people belonging to that race. If their reasons are racists are not is another question. As far as I can say like that it's only preference.


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## Blessed Frozen Cells (Apr 3, 2013)

Lucifel said:


> I would say that's because they don't want to get answers from people belonging to that race. If their reasons are racists are not is another question.


But putting up a dating profile is the first place was to attract people. You want people to like you and message you. Putting up No X race is surely going to turn people from any other race off from contacting you. I've heard people say "If I see No X race on a profile and even if I'm not from that race, I'm not going to message this person." 

My opinion is you can always not reply people if you don't want to for any reason.


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## koalaroo (Nov 25, 2011)

Well, on my dating profile I once said, "I've never been sexually attracted to a black guy. You'd probably be wasting your time messaging me." Got a whole lot of flack about it from irate black men (and a lot of black men who messaged me saying it was because I hadn't met them); I still got a lot of messages from dudes of other races. What I'm generally attracted to is Mediterranean men, and I don't really deviate from that.


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## Aya the Abysswalker (Mar 23, 2012)

Blessed Frozen Cells said:


> But putting up a dating profile is the first place was to attract people. You want people to like you and message you. Putting up No X race is surely going to turn people from any other race off from contacting you. I've heard people say "If I see No X race on a profile and even if I'm not from that race, I'm not going to message this person."
> 
> My opinion is you can always not reply people if you don't want to for any reason.


I understand you and would do the same, but you know people aren't always like that. Some get angry easy when they get messages from people they're not interested in and go NO X PEOPLE CUZ I DO NOT LIKE.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Well if skin color is a physical characteristic and physical characteristics are part of what drives attraction then it's seems like a reasonable means to discriminate. Just like people say "I prefer dark hair and I hate blonde hair". Well skin also has a color.


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## Blessed Frozen Cells (Apr 3, 2013)

koalaroo said:


> Well, on my dating profile I once said, "I've never been sexually attracted to a black guy. You'd probably be wasting your time messaging me." Got a whole lot of flack about it from irate black men (and a lot of black men who messaged me saying it was because I hadn't met them); I still got a lot of messages from dudes of other races. What I'm generally attracted to is Mediterranean men, and I don't really deviate from that.


Why would you go through all the negativity though? That's that part I don't understand.


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## Blessed Frozen Cells (Apr 3, 2013)

Lucifel said:


> I understand you and would do the same, but you know people aren't always like that. Some get angry easy when they get messages from people they're not interested in and go NO X PEOPLE CUZ I DO NOT LIKE.


I'm glad that I don't have to go through all that trouble. Sounds like the wild out there.



Grandmaster Yoda said:


> Well if skin color is a physical characteristic and physical characteristics are part of what drives attraction then it's seems like a reasonable means to discriminate. Just like people say "I prefer dark hair and I hate blonde hair". Well skin also has a color.


But take Asians for example, some are very light skinned and others are dark skinned.


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## Aya the Abysswalker (Mar 23, 2012)

Blessed Frozen Cells said:


> I'm glad that I don't have to go through all that trouble. Sounds like the wild out there.


I heard it's wild.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Blessed Frozen Cells said:


> I'm glad that I don't have to go through all that trouble. Sounds like the wild out there.
> 
> 
> 
> But take Asians for example, some are very light skinned and others are dark skinned.


I know. I was just using one trait. There's in-group favoritism in this world. If you took forensics, you'd learn that people of the same "race" tend to recognize each other better based on individual characteristics while people of different races will use a stereotypical approach, instead of looking at individual things like hair color and eye color, a white person may look at an Asian and see they have different features in general.


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## koalaroo (Nov 25, 2011)

Blessed Frozen Cells said:


> Why would you go through all the negativity though? That's that part I don't understand.


Honestly, I don't care. Their anger is not my issue; it's theirs. It's not racism; it's sour grapes on their end.


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## ficsci (May 4, 2011)

Well honestly I don't know any black guys with a similar-enough background and personality as me. Honestly I don't even know many Asian guys with a similar-enough personality as me even though I'm Asian. But actually, I don't even know anyone with a similar-enough background and personality as me, so... yeah kinda screwed regardless of who I'm attracted to.

Sent from my GT-I8200N using Tapatalk


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## Vahyavishdapaya (Sep 2, 2014)

It's only racism if you deny somebody a job, a service, an opportunity, or something along those lines; because of their race. What you do as a private individual concerning who you befriend and who you seek as sex partners should entirely be up to you.






Ice Cube is a good example of a 'sex racist', he doesn't mind if white women listen to his songs or come to his concerts - he will not deny them service or opportunity for education/employment on account of their race - but he ain't fuckin' no cave bitch.

Disclaimer: I don't endorse his views at all, and I'm sexually attracted to all kinds of women.


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## Cover3 (Feb 2, 2011)

Spitta Andretti said:


> It's only racism if you deny somebody a job, a service, an opportunity, or something along those lines; because of their race. What you do as a private individual concerning who you befriend and who you seek as sex partners should entirely be up to you.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


He chooses not to associate sexually with others based on their race alone _a priori_, how is that so distinctly different from not wishing to associate with others in other ways(namely economical as you've said) based on their race, other than the legal impracticality involved?


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## Amelia (Aug 23, 2015)

It's a preference. 

For example, I have several black male friends. They're all hilarious and awesome, but I've never been sexually attracted to any of them. I guess they're not my type.


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## Hruberen (Jan 2, 2012)

Personally, it's not about race for me, as it is for race to determine the features I am attracted to. I like certain facial structures, The eye colors that aren't brown, pale skin, and freckles. I've seen attractive black people, but they were out of my league, and I've only seen 2.

That said something that is most definitely racist is when pale people and very dark people are together. The babies would not look very much like either parent.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

does that mean that I discriminate against brown eyes because I am only attracted to people with blue eyes? 

the question is: "_Why_ are you only attracted to Asians, Caucasians, etc?". If it's because you have fetishes for certain features which make you wet/give you a boner, then it's not racist, it's called biology. It becomes racism when you wouldn't date someone _despite_ being attracted to them because of being a certain race.

using myself as an example, _of course_ I would be open to dating a black guy if I found him attractive and we had chemistry. my dating pool is tiny as it is. if I were to limit my tastes deliberately based on something like that, it would be absurd. problem is....it's never happened, because I'm attracted almost exclusively to guys with light colored eyes and pale skin.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

People have physical preferences. They also have a right to cultural unity instead of forced multiculturalism. If you don't enjoy a certain physical type, how could that be "racist"...if you want to preserve cultural unity through your breeding, that may fall under some people's definition of racist, but I think it's bizarre to try to tell someone else how to socialize their family, that stinks of Marxism to me, just as much as intentionally taking children away from their parents during their formative years to "socialize them." I'm so glad I never went to daycare, even with years of public school and a liberal state college, I think it saved me from brainwashing. 

Just because you want to preserve cultural unity, btw, doesn't mean you necessarily don't allow other cultures to live in peace and keep their own ways as well. People really need to to expand these conversations beyond these simplistic left wing narratives.


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## Wartime Consigliere (Feb 8, 2011)

Of course it's racist. Any racial preference should be _quite obviously_ racist.

Whether or not this is understandable, or okay since their love/sex life is their decision is besides the point... Justifications for why you support this doesn't change the fact that it is a racist attitude. Discriminating against individuals based on race alone? Yeah, I think that counts as racism. LOL. Maybe we should just acknowledge how racist we really are, instead of insisting on pretending that we're not racist in any way.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

Spitta Andretti said:


> It's only racism if you deny somebody a job, a service, an opportunity, or something along those lines; because of their race. What you do as a private individual concerning who you befriend and who you seek as sex partners should entirely be up to you.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


You just called white women cave bitches. So I'm sure you won't mind if we call you the racial/sexual equivalent.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

Optimist Mind said:


> Of course it's racist. Any racial preference should be _quite obviously_ racist.
> 
> Whether or not this is understandable, or okay since their love/sex life is their decision is besides the point... Justifications for why you support this doesn't change the fact that it is a racist attitude. Discriminating against individuals based on race alone? Yeah, I think that counts as racism. LOL. Maybe we should just acknowledge how racist we really are, instead of insisting on pretending that we're not racist in any way.


Actually I think the correct term is racialist. A term very few people on the left seem to understand.


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## furryfury (Sep 20, 2015)

I won't have sex with someone of the same ethnicity as me, even if I find them attractive. Put simply, there are >800,000 of us in the world and we all have the same origins. I know that somewhere in the last few generations we'd have a common ancestor and that's a little too close to home for me.

Plus, geeky white boys *swoon*


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## Wartime Consigliere (Feb 8, 2011)

Thalassa said:


> Actually I think the correct term is racialist. A term very few people on the left seem to understand.


Interesting term, but it still doesn't mean this isn't racist.

Racialism notes distinctions and differences between races, but personal preferences are another thing entirely.

Taking the easy example to illustrate my point:
"I tend to be attracted to Black men because I find huge penises attractive" would be a racialist statement.
In contrast, "I'll never date a White man because they have small penises" is racist.

Prejudice that dismisses the possibility of individuality disproving a racialist assumption is still racist.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

furryfury said:


> I won't have sex with someone of the same ethnicity as me, even if I find them attractive. Put simply, there are >800,000 of us in the world and we all have the same origins. I know that somewhere in the last few generations we'd have a common ancestor and that's a little too close to home for me.
> 
> Plus, geeky white boys *swoon*


Just out of curiosity, did you know out breeding can cause issues just like inbreeding? Also, some people think it's cruel to force a child to belong to a dual culture or deny a part of themselves in favor of the other. 

While I can follow the reasoning behind what you're saying, there's actually very little that is great about intentionally avoiding people of your own ethnicity, if you find some attractive. It's misguided, imo. ..and it still makes you a racialist.


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

So, to skip to the end of how this works, those who are more privileged will take the side of "No, that isn't racist, you can't force me to have sex with someone I'm not attracted to", while those less privileged will say "Yes, there is no way around the fact that this is a racist attitude, no matter what the justification." People will defend their self interest, as always.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

Optimist Mind said:


> Interesting term, but it still doesn't mean this isn't racist.
> 
> Racialism notes distinctions and differences between races, but personal preferences are another thing entirely.
> 
> ...


I don't know how refusing to have sex with or spend your life with someone is the same as subjugation of another race socially. I fail to see the logic in these kinds of claims...if anything, intentionally avoiding your own ethnicity could be viewed as an attempt to undermine the cohesion of that culture in favor of socialist pluralism.

Also I think you just gave a terrible example, all black men don't have huge penises, just as all white men don't have small ones.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

of cups said:


> So, to skip to the end of how this works, those who are more privileged will take the side of "No, that isn't racist, you can't force me to have sex with someone I'm not attracted to", while those less privileged will say "Yes, there is no way around the fact that this is a racist attitude, no matter what the justification." People will defend their self interest, as always.


Less privileged? At what? Having sex with white women?


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

Thalassa said:


> Less privileged? At what? Having sex with white women?


Less white and/or less universally attractive. Those who more people are culturally adapted to finding attractive.


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## Wartime Consigliere (Feb 8, 2011)

Thalassa said:


> I don't know how refusing to have sex with or spend your life with someone is the same as subjugation of another race socially. I fail to see the logic in these kinds of claims...if anything, intentionally avoiding your own ethnicity could be viewed as an attempt to undermine the cohesion of that culture in favor of socialist pluralism.
> 
> Also I think you just gave a terrible example, all black men don't have huge penises, just as all white men don't have small ones.


I never said that all black men have huge penises, or that all white men have small ones. You don't need to say that as if you're educating me.

The example illustrates the _racialist_ distinction that in terms of ratios, black men more often do have huge penises than white men. It's not a rule that applies to entire races by any means, but it's a realistic, racialist distinction. Only the latter quote was racist, as the first still implies ("*tend* to be attracted to") being open to the possibility that the cause for the attraction can apply to men outside that race as well. It's the dismissiveness in the latter which undermines individuality and possibility to be wrong that is racist here, which goes beyond being just racialism.

Also, you don't need to subjugate an entire race socially to be racist. Minor examples of racism are still examples of racism, even if you don't deem them to be very important when compared to bigger issues of racism.


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## furryfury (Sep 20, 2015)

Thalassa said:


> Just out of curiosity, did you know out breeding can cause issues just like inbreeding? Also, some people think it's cruel to force a child to belong to a dual culture or deny a part of themselves in favor of the other.
> 
> While I can follow the reasoning behind what you're saying, there's actually very little that is great about intentionally avoiding people of your own ethnicity, if you find some attractive. It's misguided, imo. ..and it still makes you a racialist.


I feel like I've really benefited from being mixed-race, best of both cultures in a bi-cultural country. My culture also doesn't dilute with each generation, there's no blood quantity required, so my children will be Maori regardless, if they identify with that culture. 

To put it in context, we have a complex system of tribal adoption that can obscure parentage. My own grandparents were married with four children before they found out that they are actually first cousins, despite growing up in completely different areas. 

I'm totally fine with being labeled a "racialist", just trying to present a different perspective.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

of cups said:


> Less white and/or less universally attractive. Those who more people are culturally adapted to finding attractive.


But it's pretty much the equivalent of saying it's a privilege to have sex with white women. Or far east Asian women. Which is all kinds of creepy and disturbing. I see you identify as a man, and I am not sure you understand what you are saying. I have no obligation to breed with black or Arabic men to be a nice liberal white woman. 

That's not racism. I guess men from cultures where they seek to conquer Europeans could see not being able to have sex with European women as detrimental to their grand plan, but if they play the race card in doing so, we are just enabling vile stupidity to agree with them.

It's like dude if you hate white people so much just go away.


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## Wartime Consigliere (Feb 8, 2011)

of cups said:


> So, to skip to the end of how this works, those who are more privileged will take the side of "No, that isn't racist, you can't force me to have sex with someone I'm not attracted to", while those less privileged will say "Yes, there is no way around the fact that this is a racist attitude, no matter what the justification." People will defend their self interest, as always.


I would like to think the struggles of the less privileged are not championed by the less privileged alone. There were many white protestors to racism in the civil rights era, and now there are many straight people protesting homophobia.

And even with it being a racist attitude, it's still their freedom to date/have sex with whoever they want. It doesn't grant entitlement. Getting people to have sex with them shouldn't be the goal for the less privileged here, it should be the acknowledgement that it is still racism.


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

Thalassa said:


> But it's pretty much the equivalent of saying it's a privilege to have sex with white women. Or far east Asian women. Which is all kinds of creepy and disturbing. I see you identify as a man, and I am not sure you understand what you are saying. I have no obligation to breed with black or Arabic men to be a nice liberal white woman.
> 
> That's not racism. I guess men from cultures where they seek to conquer Europeans could see not being able to have sex with European women as detrimental to their grand plan, but if they play the race card in doing so, we are just enabling vile stupidity to agree with them.
> 
> It's like dude if you hate white people so much just go away.


But it isn't a matter of being able to attract Europeans. I'm saying white is like the center, and and most roads are drifting towards the center here. It seems that 'white' is the most commonly attractive in general, not just to whites. A bigger overarching problem is the need to classify and drift towards that which we have preconceived to be attractive. Attraction should not require a point of reference. Part of why I like the internet and forums. I don't have to see peoples' faces, and I judge on better factors.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

Optimist Mind said:


> I never said that all black men have huge penises, or that all white men have small ones. You don't need to say that as if you're educating me.
> 
> The example illustrates the _racialist_ distinction that in terms of ratios, black men more often do have huge penises than white men. It's not a rule that applies to entire races by any means, but it's a realistic, racialist distinction. Only the latter quote was racist, as the first still implies ("*tend* to be attracted to") being open to the possibility that the cause for the attraction can apply to men outside that race as well. It's the dismissiveness in the latter which undermines individuality and possibility to be wrong that is racist here, which goes beyond being just racialism.
> 
> Also, you don't need to subjugate an entire race socially to be racist. Minor examples of racism are still examples of racism, even if you don't deem them to be very important when compared to bigger issues of racism.


Well you and I are going to disagree...the comedy here being you saying "well you don't have to tell me that like you're educating me"...yet you sweep in here with your stupid liberal pronouncements about sexual preferences being racist, so we should all listen up and admit it...lol.


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## Wartime Consigliere (Feb 8, 2011)

Thalassa said:


> Well you and I are going to disagree...the comedy here being you saying "well you don't have to tell me that like you're educating me"...yet you sweep in here with your stupid liberal pronouncements about sexual preferences being racist, so we should all listen up and admit it...lol.


Could you at least offer a counter-argument if you're going to label mine as stupid?


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

of cups said:


> But it isn't a matter of being able to attract Europeans. I'm saying white is like the center, and and most roads are drifting towards the center here. It seems that 'white' is the most commonly attractive in general, not just to whites. A bigger overarching problem is the need to classify and drift towards that which we have preconceived to be attractive. Attraction should not require a point of reference. Part of why I like the internet and forums. I don't have to see peoples' faces, and I judge on better factors.


You sound demisexual.


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

Optimist Mind said:


> I would like to think the struggles of the less privileged are not championed by the less privileged alone. There were many white protestors to racism in the civil rights era, and now there are many straight people protesting homophobia.
> 
> And even with it being a racist attitude, it's still their freedom to date/have sex with whoever they want. It doesn't grant entitlement. Getting people to have sex with them shouldn't be the goal for the less privileged here, it should be the acknowledgement that it is still racism.


Digging into the motives of those who are not necessarily championing their own cause is another conversation entirely. 

As far as your second point, you are speaking of what should be, when I am speaking of what is. At least from my perspective, that is the reality I see here.



Thalassa said:


> You sound demisexual.


I'm not much a fan of contemporary labels, but a strong case could be made against that claim, just as well as for it.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

Optimist Mind said:


> Could you at least offer a counter-argument if you're going to label mine as stupid?


I have. I explained to you that racism is the social subjugation of another race, or the belief in the superiority of a race. It doesn't mean that you have to be attracted to all physical types or cultures to not be racist. You may be racialist, but not racist. Many people who are not from the West actually try very hard to marry within their own culture. This is one of the reasons European nationalists are angered by what they see as forced multiculturalism or attempts to guilt people into out breeding. It's just as sick to try to create one big swath of light brown people as it is to only want to mastermind Aryans.


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## Fumetsu (Oct 7, 2015)

Mair said:


> No , it's a preference.


Right, the preference not to date someone who will refer to me as "Bitch" like it's in the dictionary, consume media that porteys white women, sorry. "Bitches" as a tool to get back at ******. Or have an obsession with sticking their dick in the wrong hole.

I do recognize that this is a very particular sub-culture of a race. I have met quite a few very respectable black men that I imagine threat their ladies very well.

I do admit to an odd bias:" Not-quite-man-stachest." I recognized that waiting for a bus at my school. A dark-skinned man with one of these was standing next to me. Living in a very multi-cultural area this typically wouldn't be worth notice- until I saw his half-grown in, patchy mustache and I immediately backed away.

I thought to myself " Oh God am I racist against Hispanics!?" a few minutes later another man with a similar mustache came by and I had the same reaction.
He was Asian.

I don't know why, but there is something very skeevy about those mustaches to me. If my boyfriend starts to grow one I wont fuck him until he shaves it off.



Ziggurat said:


> Hilarious concept. How is it that me being extremely confident that I'll not find someone in a particular race attractive hurting anyone? If this is racism then racism isn't a bad thing. Just like when Feminists claim that cat-calling is rape. They're just making a mockery of a serious issue.


I agree but could you not call them "Femmenists"? Those are what we refer to as "Crazy-bitches" and are the reason we feel dirty about being Feminist, and we shouldn't.


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## Ziggurat (Jun 12, 2010)

Fumetsu said:


> I agree but could you not call them "Femmenists"? Those are what we refer to as "Crazy-bitches" and are the reason we feel dirty about being Feminist, and we shouldn't.


Unfortunately since academic and mainstream Feminism is exactly that, the movement has been co-opted. The term has been abandoned by 82% of Americans in favour of Egalitarianism, etc.


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## Eska (Aug 18, 2014)

"Races", often, seem to be pivot points for particular characteristics, whether they are physical and/or behavioral.

It is usually associated to a bundle of features, and these bundles can be relative to particular area, and may not apply to another.

Ex;

"_I do not like black people, due to their recurrent behaviors linked to hip-hop/hood culture_" could apply in certain areas of the US (ex; Detroit), although, it could not apply to the 'black' population of Papua New Guinea, where hip-hop/hood culture is likely not present.

Physical characteristics can constitutes things such as facial structure, facial features, bone length, muscle tone, etc.

Ex;

'Black' people's particular hair texture, nose bridges, nostril width, lip thickness, mouth size, cranial shape, etc.










Not every 'black' individual fits every single feature, although, through generalization, particular features are recurrent enough to be noted within this race's general profile.

Thus,

If you live in a certain part of the US, such as Detroit, and you are not attracted/repulsed by behaviors that are related to hip-hop/hood culture, as well as a certain texture of hair, a certain size of lips, a certain cranial shape, a certain nasal characteristics; you might end up being not attracted/repulsed by the average description of 'black' people, in that particular area.

Characteristics precede 'race'.

The most common denominator, or the broadest categorization (to a reasonable extent), would be by 'race'.

If you had a "veil of ignorance" which renders you unable to perceive "race", and you were asked to name your most favorite and least favorite features, it is possible that these features might heavily 'play for' or 'play against' a particular 'race'.

Thus, it is, technically, racism.


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## Maiko_Hima (Jul 12, 2015)

If it's sex for purely physical reasons, no it is not racism.
If you absolutely love blondes with blue eyes then you probably won't drool over the asian woman in front of you at the bus station.
That does not mean you will treat them with less respect or much differently (maybe I am being incredibly naive) or that you have some sort of deep disgust for the "race".
If you wouldn't due to views you hold about behavior of members of that "race" then yes, it is racism.

I've been attracted to men from every single race. I guess I like easily "found" traits?
Last person I kissed was from singapore. He was not drunk and was amazed that I would be attracted to an asian man.
He was indian and chinese mixed down the line I believe. I've been attracted to a korean man and a man from the Philippines recently.
I've dated white blonde-blue/green eyed men and very "black" featured very dark skinned men.

Looking back these men had "body" shapes that were somewhat similar but their faces and skin tones couldn't be more different.

I am not offended if someone doesn't find my skin color beautiful.

Their loss .


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## Cbyermen (Nov 28, 2014)

It's definitely racist. You yourself might not think you're a racist, and maybe you aren't, but that comment definitely would be.

I mean, you could still be extremely respectful and kind to everyone outside of it, but you're basing your entire "preference" on something that might not even be true, just because of what their race is. That's racism.


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## Aya the Abysswalker (Mar 23, 2012)

tummyboxes said:


> It's definitely racist. You yourself might not think you're a racist, and maybe you aren't, but that comment definitely would be.
> 
> I mean, you could still be extremely respectful and kind to everyone outside of it, but you're basing your entire "preference" on something that might not even be true, just because of what their race is. That's racism.


Why? Because I happen not to find them attractive?? That is a very weak thing to base racism on.


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

ITT: I'm in the right = not racist.
lol Being right or justified doesn't make your actions not racist.


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## Aya the Abysswalker (Mar 23, 2012)

Chasing Nereids said:


> ITT: I'm in the right = not racist.
> lol Being right or justified doesn't make your actions not racist.


I. Do not get it. Really. Wht is prefence racist? I do not find Asians attractive that is it. I am not discrimitating them, I simply do not find them sexually attractive.


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

Lucifel said:


> I. Do not get it. Really. Wht is prefence racist? I do not find Asians attractive that is it. I am not discrimitating them, I simply do not find them sexually attractive.


From Google, "Discrimination is treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing is perceived to belong to rather than on individual merit." You are discriminating.


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## Aya the Abysswalker (Mar 23, 2012)

Chasing Nereids said:


> From Google, "Discrimination is treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing is perceived to belong to rather than on individual merit." You are discriminating.


So straight people are discrimiating too because they cannot be sexually attracted to the same sex?


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## Purple Skies (Aug 31, 2015)

^^What?? How am I discriminating someone by not finding them attractive? 

How on earth does a lack of sexual attraction equate to racism. In order for me to not be racist, I'd have to like at least one person from every race? Sexual attraction isn't something that can be faked, in that case I have to accept I'm a racist and there's nothing I can do about it. People are judging others on features, not on race. Does every black/white/Asian etc person look the same? No, but there are commonalities between them that a person might not take a liking to. Honestly guys, it's not that serious. Damn.


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## Purple Skies (Aug 31, 2015)

Lucifel said:


> So straight people are discrimiating too because they cannot be sexually attracted to the same sex


I guess I'm a racist and a sexist too.


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## Laguna (Mar 21, 2012)

I have never ever consciously excluded an entire race as potential dating material. But no question- I am attracted to certain physical traits for whatever reason that I am. Can't really explain why you are attracted to one thing and not another. Personality and chemistry definitely takes the lion's share of building attraction. But there are definitely some famous "hot" guys that women go nuts for that do absolutely zilch for me. ehh


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## Aya the Abysswalker (Mar 23, 2012)

Luna Medlock said:


> I guess I'm a racist and a sexist too.


Well we tried :')


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

Lucifel said:


> So straight people are discrimiating too because they cannot be sexually attracted to the same sex?


Yes.


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## Aya the Abysswalker (Mar 23, 2012)

Chasing Nereids said:


> Yes.


Why? Sexual orientation isn't something you can fake or control.


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## Fumetsu (Oct 7, 2015)

Chasing Nereids said:


> Yes.


Lol. No that's called biology.

You know who I do love? Seventies black guys.p:


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## Cbyermen (Nov 28, 2014)

Lucifel said:


> Why? Because I happen not to find them attractive?? That is a very weak thing to base racism on.


Because it's generalising that entire race. Saying that means all people of a certain race looks the same to you, or have the same physical characteristics, which, obviously, is true for many, but certainly not all. Like I said before, I'm not saying you are a racist. You seem like a very fair person, but the comment itself is just generalising a whole group of people. 

It's absolutely not racist to say you're attracted to a certain set of traits, but remember that these traits can honestly belong to anyone.

And it's _not_ the same as a straight person being discriminatory towards LGBT people because they aren't attracted to the same sex. That's called sexuality. You can't say "all people who are not X race" is your sexuality.

Besides, you never know. Maybe you'll meet an Asian who you find extremely attractive someday.


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## Aya the Abysswalker (Mar 23, 2012)

tummyboxes said:


> Because it's generalising that entire race. Saying that means all people of a certain race looks the same to you, or have the same physical characteristics, which, obviously, is true for many, but certainly not all. Like I said before, I'm not saying you are a racist. You seem like a very fair person, but the comment itself is just generalising a whole group of people.
> 
> It's absolutely not racist to say you're attracted to a certain set of traits, but remember that these traits can honestly belong to anyone.
> 
> ...


I have said before, in another posts and I don't find most attractive, but I'm ready to be proven wrong.


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## Caveman Dreams (Nov 3, 2015)

So what, we force people to date people from other races in the name of "equality".

Cool, those stating that this is racism can lead the way and set a good example.


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## Caveman Dreams (Nov 3, 2015)

Mzku said:


> i come bearing the gift of correctons.
> 
> you posted a bunch of your agenda jargon long before the other user showed up. not even to mention you essentially goaded the reply out of him.
> 
> ...


Im just stating my views on enforced dating. As stated:



> So what, we force people to date people from other races in the name of "equality".
> 
> Cool, those stating that this is racism can lead the way and set a good example.


Well should we? Please answer Yes or No.
If someone creates this sort of society should they be exempt? Yes or No



> his stuff actually scares me.
> 
> How long is it until the Feminazi's try to line everyone up and do forced dating.
> 
> ...


Its only Feminists I have seen going on about this sort of thing in general. OK this is based totally on my personal experiences. I may be wrong I may be right.

I dont date feminists, thats a fact.




> On a personal view, Im more concerned with the implications when people ask these questions.
> My question is what is the OP trying to get out of this. WHat is their motive, what is their agenda.
> 
> If the OP just wanted to date, then surely they would just be looking for a person who is compatible as opposed to starting debates on things such as dating habits.
> ...


Again as stated, I am wondering what the ramifications/outcomes/how people will react and act. Use a fucking dictionary if you cant comprehenda English.




> So then do you think if someone does not want to date X race, that they should be forced to?
> 
> Or do we leave people free to make their own choices.
> 
> What is your purpose/goal?


I was asking a question, they are the only two possibilities I see. I was asking what the over all goal was. 

Kinda what it says.

Again use a dictionary.



> Honestly? Yes. But I know it would be an extremely unpopular opinion.
> 
> Maybe if European/Western beauty standards didn't dominate the media, minorities weren't seen as being more sexually depraved, violent, and untrustworthy, and this country didn't have a long and pervasive history of racial segregation, I wouldn't be so suspicious of these preferences being just that: a natural set of preferences.
> 
> ...


Hmm, there he admits he wants to force people to date who they dont want to



> Only reason Im getting defensive is because if someone chooses to limit their dating pool, I dont honestly see how that is anybodys business. And then another user openly said he thinks people should be forced to date people of other race, although to be fair he did say it will probably be an unpopular opinion.


Again, if people are offended by people having choices. Then the only way around it is to force somebody to do something against their will. 

Its like if you say to me "I wont ever get on a plane". I will never put you in a situation regarding planes. I dont attack you because of your views on planes.

Or maybe your from a community where the man is right and woman is meant to do as man expects so your not used to people saying NO.

Go find some woman who dosnt want tod ate you, beat her a bit and rape her or something.

Thats another solution to the issue at hand.


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## Caveman Dreams (Nov 3, 2015)

Blessed Frozen Cells said:


> I didn't say anything back or question that person's choices. I just nodded and said ok and never mentioned about it again. You're right. It's none of my business and I've always stayed out of anyone's dating life but I was shocked to hear it from this particular person because I wasn't expecting this statement from them. They are usually very open-minded and I kinda look up to them on many different aspects. So it got me wondering and reflected on people around me. My parents are also pretty open-minded about things but when it comes to dating, they are so racist about it. Talk about someone dictating dating life of others. It's not people like me who's doing that. It's the racist ones.


Apologies if you took my comments personally, they wern't aimed at you specifically.


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## Mzku (Nov 4, 2015)

Blessed Frozen Cells said:


> Shush! You're exposing my world domination plan with super intelligent mixed-race babies!


evil. the purest of evil  i knew you couldnt be trusted all along!


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## Aya the Abysswalker (Mar 23, 2012)

Mzku said:


> faking is faking.
> 
> acting is faking. 'portrayals' is faking. kids playing cops and robbers are faking.
> 
> but more importantly, you're still not addressing the fact that you can fake anything you want. where is this make believe world that things cannot be faked? what do you think lies _ARE_?


It depends on the lie. Some people say that hidding the truth is a lie even though you said or faked nothing.
Lying is playing a role to please others or reach a goal. I have never seen that many people truly able to hide or fake their sexual orientation for long. You say that you're not gay but your lie will soon fall flat on its ass.. Not even married men are able to lie to themselves.


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## Caveman Dreams (Nov 3, 2015)

Lucifel said:


> It depends on the lie. Some people say that hidding the truth is a lie even though you said or faked nothing.
> Lying is playing a role to please others or reach a goal. I have never seen that many people truly able to hide or fake their sexual orientation for long. You say that you're not gay but your lie will soon fall flat on its ass.. Not even married men are able to lie to themselves.


The person you have quoted is an INTJ. @Mzku please feel free to correct me here. This is just my understanding and not facts. So I may be way off the mark here.

Based on my understanding Introverts focus more on their inner world (still ensure what that is, never been given a logical answer), and change their perception of the outer world to suit that. Whilst I am not saying that this lying, if they spend more time in this, things like personal views of themselves and personal beliefs are more of a reality than the outer world.

You and myself are Extroverts, which again, this is only based on my understanding. We process the outer world and use that to shape our inner world. 

SO where this relates to your little debate here, is you and me we look at what happens and make views based on that. IE, I say I am popular, to you and me this is measurable. Either your popular and have some external proof that you are popular (ie lots of friends and aqquatiences) or if this is not the case the person is lying.

However I think Introverts, take the belief they are popular and live in that belief. Whether they actually are popular or not does not matter to them. As they live within that belief. 

Nowto me, I would class this as a lie, just because someone thinks they are popular does not make them popular.

But I think that for an introvert, its the way they define their inner world so it must be true (to them it its).

So lying and so on is differnet to them, as unlike some extroverted people they dont base beliefs on external facts and events. They dont need proof as such. 

Anything that happens externally they reframe to suit their inner world belief.

As for the "I am popular" for me. If I were to believe this, it would only be believable for me if I really was popular and had plenty of friends. If I wasnt externally popular, then in my eyes I wouldnt be popular.

Thats how I see it. Not sure if that makes sense.


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## Mzku (Nov 4, 2015)

Lucifel said:


> It depends on the lie. Some people say that hidding the truth is a lie even though you said or faked nothing.
> Lying is playing a role to please others or reach a goal. I have never seen that many people truly able to hide or fake their sexual orientation for long. You say that you're not gay but your lie will soon fall flat on its ass.. Not even married men are able to lie to themselves.


dont get me wrong, im not talking about prolonged lifelong lies people carry with them. im not even talking about lies people tell themselves that they bury deep down.

you said people cant fake orientation. even if its for a dumb immature idea that may/may not even be necessary people can fake anything is all im saying. anything. for how long, probably just depends on how patient the person is.


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## Mzku (Nov 4, 2015)

cybersloth81 said:


> This is just my understanding and not facts. So I may be way off the mark here.


mm nope o.o for once, i _completely_ agree with you :wink:


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## Caveman Dreams (Nov 3, 2015)

Mzku said:


> mm nope o.o for once, i _completely_ agree with you :wink:


Thanks.

Im actually envious of you Introverts because of that very thing at times.

I was not at all aware of this when I was younger and probably was a bit unstable and pinging off the environment at times.

It took a fair bit of meditation and a reading of "Mastering Your Hidden Self" to get a basic understanding.

I do see the power of this though. 

But I think you guys are more balanced as I think Introverts are Forced to interact with the outer world.

Where as us Extroverts are not forced to interact with the inner world.

So creating powerful beliefs does not come natural to us.


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## bruh (Oct 27, 2015)

It's not racist. It's "you're only looking to date someone for their looks." Yeah, pretty much depends on what kind of relationship you want. If you want to love someone's personality, their looks wouldn't mean anything to you.


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## Aya the Abysswalker (Mar 23, 2012)

Mzku said:


> dont get me wrong, im not talking about prolonged lifelong lies people carry with them. im not even talking about lies people tell themselves that they bury deep down.
> 
> you said people cant fake orientation. even if its for a dumb immature idea that may/may not even be necessary people can fake anything is all im saying. anything. for how long, probably just depends on how patient the person is.


What I meant is that people cannot fake it to themselves.


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## Aya the Abysswalker (Mar 23, 2012)

cybersloth81 said:


> The person you have quoted is an INTJ. @_Mzku_ please feel free to correct me here. This is just my understanding and not facts. So I may be way off the mark here.
> 
> Based on my understanding Introverts focus more on their inner world (still ensure what that is, never been given a logical answer), and change their perception of the outer world to suit that. Whilst I am not saying that this lying, if they spend more time in this, things like personal views of themselves and personal beliefs are more of a reality than the outer world.
> 
> ...


No, he simply misunderstood what I meant by you cannot fake sexual orientation because I didn't say to yourself.


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## Cthulhu And Coffee (Mar 8, 2012)

cybersloth81 said:


> Well I prefer Sarah Michelle Gellar over Rhianna.
> 
> To me that means I am more attracted to Sarah Michelle Gellar, but to some people it means I am racist apparently.
> 
> When I met one of my exes in a nightclub, if there was someone from a different race there at the same time and I did not get with them does that mean that I am racist.


So it's more about appearance? Or? I find this interesting. It makes more sense than it did to me earlier, so thanks for that. 

Regardless I don't see how it's racist. If I like blue eyes instead of green eyes, I'm not saying green eyes are just plain shitty. I'm saying they aren't for me. You can view something as equal to another without preferring it. Racism just means believing one race is truly BETTER than another and that something irrelevant to race is true for all based on their race ("one Hispanic person is stupid, so they're all stupid.")


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## Dante Scioli (Sep 3, 2012)

Racism is the belief in race theory. Race theory holds that races exist. Races are different human subspecies.

Discriminating your sexual or romantic preferences on the basis of race is an implicit endorsement of race theory; therefore it is racist.



Over the decades, as race theory became ubiquitously accepted while the question of superiority between races became ever more controversial, "racism" took on a new, more specialized meaning describing either the belief in racial superiority or even more specifically an antagonistic belief in racial superiority.

I don't believe sexual preference is necessarily "racist" under these more specific definitions.


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

it is racist if it discriminates _unfairly _against people of a race (it is possible to discriminate _fairly _on the basis of race, however, for example, by making beneficial public health decisions regarding diseases that themselves discriminate by race, so racial discrimination itself is not necessarily racist)...but the reason racism of this sort is not sanctioned is not that they are personal preferences, but that there is no way to enforce a law forbidding such discrimination--you can't force someone to date, much less marry, someone he or she doesn't like...someone like a business owner, otoh, might also have personal racial preferences, but it _is _possible to penalize him for his preferences and force him to do business with people he'd rather not do business with

so enforcement is the difference here, not preference


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## Caveman Dreams (Nov 3, 2015)

Salad Days said:


> So it's more about appearance? Or? I find this interesting. It makes more sense than it did to me earlier, so thanks for that.
> 
> Regardless I don't see how it's racist. If I like blue eyes instead of green eyes, I'm not saying green eyes are just plain shitty. I'm saying they aren't for me. You can view something as equal to another without preferring it. Racism just means believing one race is truly BETTER than another and that something irrelevant to race is true for all based on their race ("one Hispanic person is stupid, so they're all stupid.")


Yeah well for me its visual.

As a personal preference I prefer red heads.

So on an online dating site where there are hundreds if not thousands of women, there are bound to be red heads. So it is easy to be picky. I can filter the women who are red heads and if they message me, I am more likely to want to get to know them.

In bars and clubs women are more scarce, however there is normally enough variety and if there is a woman I like, I will talk to them and take it from there.

Now if however it was an end of the world scenario and there was say me and 2 women left, I dont think I would be as picky. Although if I was having a bad day I would probably end the human race there and then by refusing to mate.

But as far as online dating goes, I dont see it as racist. Its just the people who are making it about race. If I want to find a red head as I find them more attractive, sure it would be nice to have some filter that made evryone else invisible but if that isnt avaliable I will sate my preferences and stick to them.


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## SuburbanLurker (Sep 26, 2010)

Is it sexist if I don't want to have sex with other men? Sexual attraction isn't a conscious choice; we have no control over it. Using terms like racist or sexist to describe innate, unchangeable behaviours or feelings is counterproductive, and trivializes actual racism/sexism.


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## Blessed Frozen Cells (Apr 3, 2013)

cybersloth81 said:


> Apologies if you took my comments personally, they wern't aimed at you specifically.


I took it personally because you made comments about my personal life you know nothing about. No worries. Just another day on Perc lol


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## Blessed Frozen Cells (Apr 3, 2013)

SuburbanLurker said:


> Is it sexist if I don't want to have sex with other men? Sexual attraction isn't a conscious choice; we have no control over it. Using terms like racist or sexist to describe innate, unchangeable behaviours or feelings is counterproductive, and trivializes actual racism/sexism.


And we were debating that whether the attraction itself could have been influenced by cultures and media.


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## Cephalonimbus (Dec 6, 2010)

> So then do you think if someone does not want to date X race, that they should be forced to?





WamphyriThrall said:


> *Honestly? Yes. But I know it would be an extremely unpopular opinion.*
> 
> Maybe if European/Western beauty standards didn't dominate the media, minorities weren't seen as being more sexually depraved, violent, and untrustworthy, and this country didn't have a long and pervasive history of racial segregation, I wouldn't be so suspicious of these preferences being just that: a natural set of preferences.
> 
> ...


Oh boy...

I'm just going to assume you're being contrarian, because you generally seem like a pretty reasonable person, but what you're describing in the bold parts is meddling with people's personal lives to a much greater extent than any totalitarian regime has ever done in the history of mankind. Forcing people to date outside of their race? You have got to be fucking kidding me. If you're being serious, you're now officially a candidate for craziest person on PerC, and there's some stiff competition.


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## SuburbanLurker (Sep 26, 2010)

Blessed Frozen Cells said:


> And we were debating that whether the attraction itself could have been influenced by cultures and media.


No amount of LGBT propaganda is going to turn me gay, and likewise, no amount of _"black people are cool and white people are squares"_ propaganda is going to make me get a boner to black chicks. If genes didn't play a primary role in sexual attraction, interracial couples would be far more common than they are simply based on the fact that multiculturalism is shoved down our throats on a daily basis.

Anecdote: I had sex with a black girl a few years ago. It was the only time in my life I ever had trouble getting it up. She was very attractive, but I just wasn't into her sexually. That had nothing to do with culture or media.


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## Derange At 170 (Nov 26, 2013)

While I don't think that being unattracted to certain features, commonly shared by particular ethnicities, is necessarily racist at all. I find a strongly held and expressed distaste for particular races in that area still somewhat suspect and odd. And I'm not really the type who's quick to jump on that "that's racist" train.

A nuance hard to put into words, I suppose.


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## MajTom (Jun 18, 2013)

I won't say, outright, that it's racist, but I will say that I just don't understand that sentiment. I feel like "race" is just such an arbitrary categorization that excluding an entire group of people due solely to them being a member of one racial group or another just seems a bit foolish to me.


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## Bugs (May 13, 2014)

Having such a preference is not racist at all. On that note, I wouldn't distinguish by race. In fact the other day I saw a black woman that was a 10.


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## TheProphetLaLa (Aug 18, 2014)

The statement itself isn't inherently racist. There are some people who only date within their race because of family expectations or out of feeling a sense of solidarity with their own "kind". They want to preserve their legacy or what have you and race is a part of that for them. Or they don't want to deal with the difficulties that come with interracial dating. Relationships are already complicated enough and some people just don't want to deal with the extra baggage. Others are more attracted to a cluster of physical features that are associated with a certain race over others.

There are many different reasons. Can this statement come from a place of racism? Sure, but not always.


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## cinnabun (Apr 11, 2011)

I've been attracted to people of all different races. It's strange this isn't the case for everyone.

I don't look at people and see a black guy, white dude...I just look at them and see someone sexy and worth getting to know.


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## letsrunlikecrazy (Sep 21, 2015)

TheProphetLaLa said:


> The statement itself isn't inherently racist. There are some people who only date within their race because of family expectations or out of feeling a sense of solidarity with their own "kind". They want to preserve their legacy or what have you and race is a part of that for them. *Or they don't want to deal with the difficulties that come with interracial dating. Relationships are already complicated enough and some people just don't want to deal with the extra baggage.* Others are more attracted to a cluster of physical features that are associated with a certain race over others.
> 
> There are many different reasons. Can this statement come from a place of racism? Sure, but not always.


I was writing a huge rambling post explaining my viewpoint, but it was going nowhere and the bolded part in this post about sums it up. I agree with the other points made as well. 

I've been attracted to white guys, Asian guys, black guys, Hispanic guys, etc. I appreciate different types of aesthetics in art, and I can appreciate different types of looks in people as well. At the same time, I'd rather not date outside of my culture. (Note: I'm not into dating casually. The purpose of dating for me is to find a marriage partner.) I don't rule out the possibility of falling in love with and eventually marrying someone who's not of my culture and/or race. But I'd rather not. 

I've come across people in interracial marriages (specifically, Asian + non-Asian) before. Some were happy, some less so. Regardless, I never wanted to be in a similar situation because there are so many extra issues they have to deal with, e.g. culture clash, backlash from the community, their children having identity crises. Certainly, there are advantages to an interracial relationship but the disadvantages outweigh them in my view.


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## JacksonHeights (Nov 6, 2015)

Personally I think it is racist. There's one thing between having preferences, and completely different when you completely dismiss a certain race.


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## Dasein (Jun 11, 2015)

Blessed Frozen Cells said:


> Before yelling "this is madness! Stop with the PC!" lol Hold onto your horses.
> 
> I'm not saying having preferences is racist. I live in Asia and all I see and interact is Asian people 99% of the time. I've dated mostly Asian but I've never thought of it like "I will only date Asian people. No Blacks. No Whites. No Latino. Etc." I haven't date any Latino so far and all Latinos I've seen were only on TV.
> 
> ...


Technically speaking, yes it is racist.

Let's generalize the statement from ...

Is "I'm never going to date or have sex with X race" racist?

to ...

Is "I'm never going to Y or have Z with X race" racist?

Fill in your "Y" and "Z".

Perhaps it is the word "never" that is racist?


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## Caveman Dreams (Nov 3, 2015)

Rinnie said:


> I've been attracted to people of all different races. It's strange this isn't the case for everyone.
> 
> I don't look at people and see a black guy, white dude...I just look at them and see someone sexy and worth getting to know.


What is it that makes them sexy though?


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## Caveman Dreams (Nov 3, 2015)

INTonyP said:


> Technically speaking, yes it is racist.
> 
> Let's generalize the statement from ...
> 
> ...


So if I said Im never going to murder and rape black people.

Thats racist?


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## Dasein (Jun 11, 2015)

cybersloth81 said:


> So if I said Im never going to murder and rape black people.
> 
> Thats racist?


Showing bias (positive or negative) based on race is technically racism. Affirmative Action (positive discrimination) based on race is racism. But if your thoughts include wondering who you are going to rape or murder, I would say you have bigger issues.


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## Caveman Dreams (Nov 3, 2015)

INTonyP said:


> Showing bias (positive or negative) based on race is technically racism. Affirmative Action (positive discrimination) based on race is racism. But if your thoughts include wondering who you are going to rape or murder, I would say you have bigger issues.


No one.

I was just exploring your logic process with different inputs.


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## Dasein (Jun 11, 2015)

cybersloth81 said:


> No one.
> 
> I was just exploring your logic process with different inputs.


And what is your conclusion about my logic process?

BTW, I'm not making a moral argument for or against racism. That is a different question. I'm just answering the OP question about if it is racism or not.


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## Blessed Frozen Cells (Apr 3, 2013)

Rinnie said:


> I've been attracted to people of all different races. It's strange this isn't the case for everyone.
> 
> I don't look at people and see a black guy, white dude...I just look at them and see someone sexy and worth getting to know.


That's similar to what I experience. Some people just pull you in.


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## Caveman Dreams (Nov 3, 2015)

Blessed Frozen Cells said:


> That's similar to what I experience. Some people just pull you in.


What makes them sexy though?


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## Blessed Frozen Cells (Apr 3, 2013)

cybersloth81 said:


> What makes them sexy though?


I'm asexual. I don't find anyone sexy. Aesthetically speaking I like people with androgynous look but however, that's not the type I always end up dating. I also date masculine men and feminine women. Race never really came up when it comes to finding someone attractive. Some people of all races just look attractive to me. It's been that way since forever.

It's a combination of someone as a person. Their look, personality, intelligence, humor, their life experience, etc that make someone interesting. They get more attractive once I get to know them better. Sometimes I admire their personality and over time I began seeing them as "wait, they are really good looking" all of a sudden. Race and ethnicity was never a factor of finding someone attractive. That's just how it is for me. Don't get me wrong because I'm very judgmental about so many things. I don't like 99% of people I know over small things but race is just not one of them.


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## Caveman Dreams (Nov 3, 2015)

Blessed Frozen Cells said:


> I'm asexual. I don't find anyone sexy. Aesthetically speaking I like people with androgynous look but however, that's not the type I always end up dating. I also date masculine men and feminine women. Race never really came up when it comes to finding someone attractive. Some people of all races just look attractive to me. It's been that way since forever.


Thanks, I just wanted an insight.

On a personal level, I am 33 years old, I know from past reference points, what I am attracted to (as I have been attracted to them) and I notice patterns so I can make fairly accurate statements on what I find attractive. Both physically and personality wise. However due to the topic of this thread I didnt think it was to do with personality so I have not mentioned those traits.


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## Dasein (Jun 11, 2015)

Blessed Frozen Cells said:


> I'm asexual. I don't find anyone sexy. Aesthetically speaking I like people with androgynous look but however, that's not the type I always end up dating. I also date masculine men and feminine women. Race never really came up when it comes to finding someone attractive. Some people of all races just look attractive to me. It's been that way since forever.


The definition of asexual is to have no sexual feelings.


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## Blessed Frozen Cells (Apr 3, 2013)

INTonyP said:


> The definition of asexual is to have no sexual feelings.


Slight but important correction. The definition of asexual is to have no sexual feelings* towards other people. *I do have (and many asexuals do) have sexual feelings. These feelings are, however, not directed towards males, females, intersexed people or anyone.


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## Dasein (Jun 11, 2015)

Blessed Frozen Cells said:


> Slight but important correction. The definition of asexual is to have no sexual feelings* towards other people. *I do have (and many asexuals do) have sexual feelings. These feelings are, however, not directed towards males, females, intersexed people or anyone.


If someone like to fuck dogs, but finds no people sexual, the person is still sexual.


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## Blessed Frozen Cells (Apr 3, 2013)

INTonyP said:


> If someone like to fuck dogs, but finds no people sexual, the person is still sexual.


That already has a name. It's called zoophilia. Sexual, yes but not straight or gay or bi or asexual.


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## Dasein (Jun 11, 2015)

Blessed Frozen Cells said:


> That already has a name. It's called zoophilia. Sexual, yes but not straight or gay or bi or asexual.


I think it is necessary to find a new or different word than asexual. Asexual has a specific definition.


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## Blessed Frozen Cells (Apr 3, 2013)

INTonyP said:


> I think it is necessary to find a new or different word than asexual. Asexual has a specific definition.


As I said in another thread a word can have several meanings. People are smart enough to differentiate them through context. And I have no control over what the official term should be for asexual people. The person (David Jay) who founded AVEN chose the word asexuality and it's already getting recognition in researches, studies and mainstream media.

I know it can get confusing because asexuality is a very board sexuality or lack of one and there are so many misconceptions around it. That's why asexuals like me try to reply to these threads as much as we can.

And this may sound rude but I personally don't want people jumping on asexuality because it's becoming popular. Even though it's getting recognition people tend to word the definition of asexual vaguely. I see 13/14 year olds and even grownups saying that they might asexual all the time but when I probe them more about what asexuality is, most often than not they give you some popular misconception about asexuality. People are already judging us a lot for using a "new term". Tumblr doesn't help either.


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## Caveman Dreams (Nov 3, 2015)

INTonyP said:


> And what is your conclusion about my logic process?
> 
> BTW, I'm not making a moral argument for or against racism. That is a different question. I'm just answering the OP question about if it is racism or not.


No conclusions really.

Im 50/50 about the OP's question. On the one hand I do agree that it is racist. But on the other hand peoples dating preferences are none of my business, so I shouldnt even be judging them. I feel very bad just for considering judging their dating views.


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## Dasein (Jun 11, 2015)

cybersloth81 said:


> No conclusions really.
> 
> Im 50/50 about the OP's question. On the one hand I do agree that it is racist. But on the other hand peoples dating preferences are none of my business, so I shouldnt even be judging them. I feel very bad just for considering judging their dating views.


And if someone made the statement ...

"I'm never going to hire or have a working relationship with X race"

Is this not just the same? A preference?

Again, I am not expressing my moral beliefs, but only the logic.


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## Caveman Dreams (Nov 3, 2015)

INTonyP said:


> And if someone made the statement ...
> 
> "I'm never going to hire or have a working relationship with X race"
> 
> ...


I find that totally different. There are laws against that kind of behaviour. 

But if someone dosnt want to have a working relationship on the other hand, that would need further description.

Not have a working relationship as in:

I will do as required for my job and role and I will act civil.
Or 
I will dsirupt work and jeperdise the company because of my views.

Tolerence is just that tolerence. People shouldnt have to like or agree with everything. But without tolerence things can get messy.


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## Dasein (Jun 11, 2015)

cybersloth81 said:


> *I find that totally different. There are laws against that kind of behaviour. *
> 
> But if someone dosnt want to have a working relationship on the other hand, that would need further description.
> 
> ...


I am not disagreeing with you on your views of tolerance. But deciding logic or one's moral views based on existing laws is irrational.


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## cinnabun (Apr 11, 2011)

cybersloth81 said:


> What is it that makes them sexy though?


I don't know. I'm a demi, so it's hard to describe. They just have this aura that shines brighter than everyone else in the room.


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## Caveman Dreams (Nov 3, 2015)

Rinnie said:


> I don't know. I'm a demi, so it's hard to describe. They just have this aura that shines brighter than everyone else in the room.


Fair enough, Im more of a visual person.


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## Caveman Dreams (Nov 3, 2015)

INTonyP said:


> I am not disagreeing with you on your views of tolerance. But deciding logic or one's moral views based on existing laws is irrational.


Well yeah any logic I use is in line with law.

As far as moral views go, as long as they are in line with the law, I dont really object. 

Everybody has different moral and ethical views, so I generally do not discuss those things as they are bound to be different and argument will ensure as it is something that is personal to each person.

As long as a person is breaking no laws, I generally say live and let live.


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