# Unusual Crushes



## mia-me (Feb 5, 2021)

Spock (Nimoy) and Data, especially since they unconsciously leak emotion while trying to keep it under wraps. Too cute.


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

Mark R said:


> Though I'm white, I've rarely dated (or married) other than black women. Maybe BernNadette Stanis (Thelma) forever affected my perception of beauty at an impressionable age. My ex-wife of a 17-year marriage is black, and I have a mixed-race son. I do love big natural hair too, but I have heard that it is considered less professional by society. It does take a lot of care, and natural conditioning products are expensive.
> 
> This is an unusual tangent, but maybe some forum members of African ancestry have some insights why natural hair isn't more popular.


You pretty much nailed it. The upkeep to even be able to wear your curls naturally is so time consuming and expensive. Not only that but natural black hairstyles (twists, locks, fros, etc.,) are often considered unprofessional at best case, dirty at worst case. All due to white people's beauty standards. For example, white women will mock black women for not washing their hair regularly as though it's a hygiene issue but if they had to sit there for 6 hours to make their hair manageable after a wash, they'd be chopping all theirs off too, or looking for chemical ways to make maintenance easier/quicker, while still trying to look "presentable". 

It's an awful thing, because I too love natural hair. So something just very sexy about it. Maybe it's the no apologies that comes from it, but I also LOVE me some ridiculous truths. Lol


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## mia-me (Feb 5, 2021)

Ms. Aligned said:


> You pretty much nailed it. The upkeep to even be able to wear your curls naturally is so time consuming and expensive. Not only that but natural black hairstyles (twists, locks, fros, etc.,) are often considered unprofessional at best case, dirty at worst case. All due to white people's beauty standards. For example, white women will mock black women for not washing their hair regularly as though it's a hygiene issue but if they had to sit there for 6 hours to make their hair manageable after a wash, they'd be chopping all theirs off too, or looking for chemical ways to make maintenance easier/quicker, while still trying to look "presentable".
> 
> It's an awful thing, because I too love natural hair. So something just very sexy about it. Maybe it's the no apologies that comes from it, but I also LOVE me some ridiculous truths. Lol


To be fair, white people with very curly hair do the exact thing with their hair so IMO, it's not a racial issue. But it is a cultural issue, since western culture appears to value neatness of presentation and wild hair for women has a sexual connotation to it and wild hair for men, has a 'bad' connotation to it.


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

There are some things black women will never experience, like a man slowly running their fingers across their head, and through their hair (unless they keep short hair). Life like that for a black woman with natural hair would be like, ""Omg this is so sexy, Oh wait, I think it just snagged!" "No I can get it out! _wiggles fingers more_." "No YOU CAN't Mother fucker! I told you NOT TO touch my hair! Your wriggling fingers do NOTHING for this hair!" While she's sitting there with a crooked neck. 

I love african american hair. It's unruly by nature, unchecked, strong as fuck( as well as the people who wear it)


mia-me said:


> To be fair, white people with very curly hair do the exact thing with their hair so IMO, it's not a racial issue. But it is a cultural issue, since western culture appears to value neatness of presentation and wild hair for women has a sexual connotation to it and wild hair for men, has a 'bad' connotation to it.


No, curly haired white women RARELY have the same curls black women/men do. It's coarse, spiraly and thick (more hairs per sq/in of the head. Or something like that. Black hair is NOT even slightly comparable to a fine girl's time to shine. Black hair is hard. If a white girl with curly hair had a soft perm it would probably wouldn't burn her scalp off, much less her hair. 

It's not the same at all.


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## mia-me (Feb 5, 2021)

Ms. Aligned said:


> No, curly haired white women RARELY have the same curls black women/men do.


Let's examine the subset of white women with extremely curly hair, never mind how so many 'white' people have some black genetics (~30%) which might manifest in the same hair as blacks. Would you say they have the same or similar struggles with their hair?


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## Scoobyscoob (Sep 4, 2016)

I'd say the most unusual relationship, in terms of being uncharacteristic for me, I've ever had (I don't remember my crushes and the ones I do remember were not unusual at all.) would be with a 'struggling artist' living in Venice, Los Angeles, way back before the city gentrified who at the time, looked a lot like Audrey Tautou in Amelie. She moved away from her well-to-do family on the East Coast to live in Socal, earning a living by taking on painting commissions. We went out for only a few months but we were pretty much opposites in terms how we viewed life, our ambitions (I was in my teens and she was in her early 20s). There was absolutely no fighting or violence between us and when the relationship ended we both implicitly knew it was over and just went on our own way.


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## mia-me (Feb 5, 2021)

A weird commonality among all my exs, is having some form of Catholic background whether they are/were Catholics or received a Catholic education.


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## Sily (Oct 24, 2008)

Bobby Sherman
Donny Osmond
"Caine" in Kung Fu (played by David Carradine)
Nico in a show called To Rome With Love

All these crushes were 1969 to 1975.


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

Sily said:


> Bobby Sherman
> Donny Osmond
> "Caine" in Kung Fu (played by David Carradine)
> Nico in a show called To Rome With Love
> ...


Omgekeerd I loved David Carradine as Kwai Chang Caine. Also Philipe in the New Adventures of Zorro was pretty hot too.


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

mia-me said:


> A weird commonality among all my exs, is having some form of Catholic background whether they are/were Catholics or received a Catholic education.


Same, No matter how much you hate the church, it is fascinating to find some resemblance of humanity there that speaks to some people.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Ada Lovelace. The absolutely brilliant daughter of a mathematical genius named Annabella Milbanke and the great romance poet Lord Byron? Yes please! 

Ada was born with the best of both worlds: A brilliant mind with the elegant soul of a poet, but unfortunately, she lived at a time when women were still considered second-class citizens. She would write the world's first computer programs (for a computer that only existed on paper) and the same principles that guided her programming logic is still being used today. In point of fact, there's a special general purpose programming language that's used around the world and it was named after her: ADA. I'd love to have tea with her and listen to her talk about just about anything she cared to share. 





















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Who was Ada? – Ada Lovelace Day






findingada.com









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Ada Lovelace | Babbage Engine | Computer History Museum







www.computerhistory.org









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Ada Lovelace: Founder of Scientific Computing






www.sdsc.edu


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

edit:

off topic

hm...what could be another unusual crush? I once got a crush on my boss, which was unusual--I am not sure why. I think in part because he was so nice and supportive--like there was this guy with social anxiety in the work group and the boss just like have him this big fist bump and special hand shake, and was like "it's okay you're doing great" and he wasn't ever critical or micromanaging.

It was terrible working for him though because every time I had to come in for a meeting I would have the most anxious response, and once I even accidentally sat in on the wrong meeting and didn't realize it for ten minutes, because I was so nervous.

The only thing unusual about it was the guy was a little bit younger than me, and he was my boss, and he was some kind of weight lifter so he was huge (I've never had a crush on anyone who had giant muscles before irl). He had a second job as a bouncer.


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

mia-me said:


> Let's examine the subset of white women with extremely curly hair, never mind how so many 'white' people have some black genetics (~30%) which might manifest in the same hair as blacks. Would you say they have the same or similar struggles with their hair?


Probably not. As white girl with some pretty tight curls...it's not the same at all. There is a difference between curls and coils. There is a girl where I work with the most amazingly beautiful hair, and it's roughly past her shoulders. While it appears to be a natural curl, I doubt it is and if you were to straighten her hair, it would probably go at LEAST down, if not past, her butt. But it's cut perfectly, and is like this lion's mane of gorgeousness around her face. I complimented her once, but don't want to ask further because I know it can be an off putting subject, and I don't want to seem like one of those white people mesmerized by black hair. 

If I had to guess though, I think she might go to a stylist that works at, or was trained by, Ouidad. Kind of looks like this:









Lower left. I suspect her hair is either treated, or she's bi-racial. Otherwise, I would expect to see something like upper left.


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

Oh, Mia-me. Not to mention white women don't go through what black women do to manage their hair. Their parents fuck it all up to make it more controllable (which is fair), but they get braided so tight it starts wearing away at their hairlines making them receed either due to breakage or follicle damage (from having those hairs pulled out over and over again over the course of their youth). All these things make beautiful, natural, african decent hair, seem like it's just too much too handle. The time, effort, cost, and maintenance....come on technology, SURELY we can make this easier than Brazilian blowouts, perms (soft curl or otherwise), knotting/braiding the hair as close to the scalp as you can get it, or having short hair, or being rich enough to afford the professional maintenance.


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

There are also natural things you can do like hair wrapping or finger waving, but all these take so much more time and effort than I could put into it. I have wash and wear (similar to lower left) with the right, and ridiculously expensive (get a discount), professional styling products.


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## daleks_exterminate (Jul 22, 2013)

Ms. Aligned said:


> There are some things black women will never experience, like a man slowly running their fingers across their head, and through their hair (unless they keep short hair). Life like that for a black woman with natural hair would be like, ""Omg this is so sexy, Oh wait, I think it just snagged!" "No I can get it out! _wiggles fingers more_." "No YOU CAN't Mother fucker! I told you NOT TO touch my hair! Your wriggling fingers do NOTHING for this hair!" While she's sitting there with a crooked neck.


I'm white (except to the people who are racist and classify Jewish people differently) , but I'll also never be able to experience that. My husband thought it was romantic to run fingers through hair..... Until his fingers got stuck in my hair and it hurt pretty bad. If i recall correctly we had to cut his fingers out. 

It's always been like that. I screamed every time my mom tried to brush it growing up, because that fucking hurt. I didn't know that i actually had curly hair until a few years ago when i went to a salon that told me that's why I looked like the before character in every 90s frizz city girl make over movie and had just cared for it wrongly my entire life thinking. I also have extremely thick, course hair, and technically a mutation that causes nearly double head and eyelash hair compared to normal people. 

My hair starts matting overnight. It doesn't matter if i wasted it that day and used a ton of conditioner. It's healthy just unruly. I can sleep in braids and that kind of works but then i have to get the mats out of the braids. The pineapple method has been pretty good as long as it doesn't come out somehow while sleeping but then it's just removing mats on the lower part in the morning which is more manageable. 

Regardless of skin color it shouldn't really be normal to touch someone else's hair without permission.


Edit: it's not as curly as bottom left though, just way more "bushy". Her hair is gorgeous. It is curlier than bottom right though.


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## daleks_exterminate (Jul 22, 2013)

Does Richard Ayoade count as an unusual crush? I kind of just assume that everyone has a crush on him. It makes sense. If it does though, he's my unusual crush.

He's hilarious.
Exhibit A:


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## arcticfox (Aug 27, 2019)

Jason Momoa.

And I'm not even gay. Go figure.


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

daleks_exterminate said:


> I'm white (except to the people who are racist and classify Jewish people differently) , but I'll also never be able to experience that. My husband thought it was romantic to run fingers through hair..... Until his fingers got stuck in my hair and it hurt pretty bad. If i recall correctly we had to cut his fingers out.
> 
> It's always been like that. I screamed every time my mom tried to brush it growing up, because that fucking hurt. I didn't know that i actually had curly hair until a few years ago when i went to a salon that told me that's why I looked like the before character in every 90s frizz city girl make over movie and had just cared for it wrongly my entire life thinking. I also have extremely thick, course hair, and technically a mutation that causes nearly double head and eyelash hair compared to normal people.
> 
> ...


Right, I know every white girl with difficult curly hair wants to make the leap into understanding. As an ex hairstylist, I'm telling you right here, right now, it is ABSOLUTELY not the same as coils. Though I have this coworker who keeps "flinging" my hair at her whim, "Such Curls!", and I'mma bout to bite her hand next time. Not because it's going to fuck my hair up, but I don't like people touching any part of me.


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

This girl at work keeps flipping my hair for me. She reminds me of the SNL skit of a man with the body of a baby. Don't do that shit, EVER!


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