# Infp + i/entj=?



## Nightchill (Oct 19, 2013)

Tease 'INFP + I/ENTJ= baby' is not appreciated :tongue:


Many sources state that ENTJ and INFP can be a good match; as I understand mainly due to INFP's strong Fi that may bring out ENTJ's auxiliary Fi considering that Te and Ni as dom are kinda rigid.

I sense some potential for INFP and INTJ as well.

So, INTJs and ENTJs, what is your opinion of INFPs? Too much idealism, 'childishness'? What are cons and pros? How far are you willing to go? Can you imagine building a happy and harmonious future with an INFP?

Are there any people with INFP-xNTJ experience and stories to share? Especially, INFPs: do you find xNTJs to be too demanding/bossy/controlling/insensitive?


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## Red Panda (Aug 18, 2010)

I was with an INTJ for 3.5 years, it was an LDR but we still love each other. We're still friends, 5 years after we broke up.
Anyway, I was young then (15) and he helped me appreciate my Te, we were actually very alike in our thinking, thinking the same things etc. I think what I didn't like about him was Ni rather Te. He could barely explain anything to me, other than sciency stuff and even them he found difficult. He just "got" them and couldn't see how to explain them. And of course he wasn't very expressive of feelings, but rather what bothered me was that he wasn't in touch with them. He felt them but couldn't easily describe them, act on them etc. at least as much as I needed. Usually when he touched me it was in a sexual context, even if he wasn't meaning for us to have sex. His character is quite mild, he's very easy-going sometimes even more than he should, but he also hates losing and can get quite pissed about it, he punched his desk once and broke it a bit, another time he punched a wall and hurt his hand and one time he slapped me cause I teased him when he lost in WoW PvP. I think he was more shocked than I afterwards. Anyway, he's happily together with an INxP now and he's more expressive as I've seen, he learnt from my needs and evolved. I'm happy for him.
Overall, I think we've been better friends than romantic partners, the sex wasn't very good either.


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## aphinion (Apr 30, 2013)

I've gotten along well with the INFP's that I've known. However, I'm not really sure about how the pairing would be in a romantic relationship. 

I'm sure there's a lot of potential for growth in a relationship between an INFP and an I/ENTJ, but I feel like it would be a lot of work on both ends. The I/ENTJ would constantly have to remind themselves of the INFP's emotions, while the INFP would have to adjust to a less emotional partner that might not always meet their needs. 

I don't know, it might work well if both partners are well adjusted and prepared to make changes/compromises.


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## Nightchill (Oct 19, 2013)

Red Panda said:


> I think what I didn't like about him was Ni rather Te. He could barely explain anything to me, other than sciency stuff and even them he found difficult. He just "got" them and couldn't see how to explain them. And of course he wasn't very expressive of feelings, but rather what bothered me was that he wasn't in touch with them. He felt them but couldn't easily describe them, act on them etc. at least as much as I needed. Usually when he touched me it was in a sexual context, even if he wasn't meaning for us to have sex. His character is quite mild, he's very easy-going sometimes even more than he should, but he also hates losing and can get quite pissed about it, he punched his desk once and broke it a bit, another time he punched a wall and hurt his hand and one time he slapped me cause I teased him when he lost in WoW PvP. I think he was more shocked than I afterwards. Anyway, he's happily together with an INxP now and he's more expressive as I've seen, he learnt from my needs and evolved. I'm happy for him.
> Overall, I think we've been better friends than romantic partners, the sex wasn't very good either.


Oh, my. Ni is what I find the most intriguing and appealing in these types. Ne and Ne is like same current entwining until the point of the discussion gets lost to my frustration and disappointment and it's somehow dull. Ni is a new perspective. Ni is a stimuli.





> Anyway, he's happily together with an INxP now and he's more expressive as I've seen, he learnt from my needs and evolved. I'm happy for him.


Sorry if I'm poking at your wounds, but it's extremely sh*tty that he learned from your needs in order to please another woman, instead of you. 



> hurt his hand and one time he slapped me cause I teased him when he lost in WoW PvP.


.... 

Seeing this it's good that you got rid of him. 

Very insightful! Thank you!

Oh... and did you try giving him precise instructions on how to please you emotionally and sexually? (Te speaking out of me)




aphinion said:


> The I/ENTJ would constantly have to remind themselves of the INFP's emotions, while the INFP would have to adjust to a less emotional partner that might not always meet their needs.


You keep owl as your avatar. That's a good sign.


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## Red Panda (Aug 18, 2010)

Nightchill said:


> Oh, my. Ni is what I find the most intriguing and appealing in these types. Ne and Ne is like same current entwining until the point of the discussion gets lost to my frustration and disappointment and it's somehow dull. Ni is a new perspective.


Ni is appealing but if the person can't explain to you it's kinda frustrating (for both I guess). It creates some distance between our types, at least from my experience. But of course each person is different, I'm sure there are Ni types who are better at explaining.



> Sorry if I'm poking at your wounds, but it's extremely sh*tty that he learned from your needs in order to please another woman, instead of you.


Well, it's not exactly that he learned from my needs, but that he learned from his mistake. His behavior towards me drove me away from him, I fell in love with another guy (INTP) so we had to break up. After a few months where he felt we could start talking more regularly again, he told me about this girl they hang out with and that he things he's in love with her and she was also sending some signals without realizing. So I told him to tell her, after a couple of attempts (she hadn't realized she was in love too) they got together. Looking back now, I just think we didn't fit as romantic partners that well, so I don't feel bad about what happened. We were both very young and each other's first serious relationship so it's understandable that we were immature at some things.



> ....
> 
> Seeing this it's good that you got rid of him.


It sounds worse than it was really. He is a very gentle guy but I think his inability to express emotion especially when it will lead to conflict makes him a bit unpredictable at times of anger. I forgave him because he wasn't abusive in any other way, and told him that if it were to happen again it'd be over. I think he was as shocked as I, or more, that he slapped me. Like I said, we're still good friends, talk almost every day etc. and it's better for both of us.




> Very insightful! Thank you!
> 
> Oh... and did you try giving him precise instructions on how to please you emotionally and sexually? (Te speaking out of me)



You're welcome!

I don't remember much now, but I think I tried especially at the sexual part, but I think our "chemistry" wasn't that good. As for the emotional, I hadn't realized that I needed more until it was too late.


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## Red Panda (Aug 18, 2010)

Now that I think about it, there was this one other time where he got very angry with me for a completely stupid reason, he told me to buy a couple of sodas with the money he had on his desk and turned out I took some new Euros that his grandma gave to him instead of the money he wanted me to take. So when I got back and he realized it he got very angry and he demanded that I go back to take them and I refused because I was embarrassed and had serious social anxiety,and he pushed me out of the house, which was scary as hell because there was a staircase behind me. I finally did it but stayed outside and cried afterwards until he came down and apologized and admitted that it was stupid. I hope he's learned a bit to control it, cause I don't want him to end up being abusive... perhaps I should talk to him about it :S


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## aphinion (Apr 30, 2013)

Nightchill said:


> You keep owl as your avatar. That's a good sign.


I don't know how to respond to this. I guess I'll keep it?


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## Nightchill (Oct 19, 2013)

aphinion said:


> I don't know how to respond to this. I guess I'll keep it?


 *hugs owl*


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## Seranova (Mar 1, 2013)

_This would also depend on low or high the feeling preference is in that certain INFP(and also enneagram and maturity level definitely comes into play). Granted, my F is fairly low, so I feel more comfortable with an NT partner as an individual. However, some INFP's may not find such a relationship to their preference. The best relationship I ever had was in fact with an INTP male. It also depends on how mature and balanced the I/ENTJ person is(or isn't). _


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## McSwiggins (Apr 2, 2013)

There are volumes written on the INTJ/INFP dynamic. The concensus among INTJs seems to be that these romantic relationships are basically emotional fool's gold. They initially appear enticing, but they always unravel, usually badly, for reasons that have been much discussed on PerC and other forums. Long term, harmonious INTJ/INFP romantic relationships seem to be the exception rather than the rule, but it can happen. Some, but not all, INTJ/INFP relationships are "benefit relations" under socionics. There are a lot of marriages that result from benefit relations -- how satisfying they are in the long run is another question.


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## tangosthenes (Oct 29, 2011)

Heh, I could tell what you meant just by the topic name. 

But, I think INFP and ENTJ couples are literally social change in the bedroom. You have someone thinking from the depth of their heart communicating to someone who has no heart. This is the townspeople to the Grinch. If you can stomach it, you can do a lot of good.

I have no advice for the emotional part of your situation. That is outside of the scope of MBTI- go with the flow, and trust your ability to feel the right answer. INFPs are good at that.


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## Tainted Streetlight (Jun 13, 2011)

Female supervisor suggests interest

Female benefitor mentions experience

Female supervisee rejects.

I still think no one sees the pattern but me. Woman are attracted to their supervisee, Men aren't in the same way. Anyone?


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