# Male INFP + Female INTP?



## Spooky (Oct 30, 2008)

There's probably already been a thread about this combination, but I'm too lazy to look it up. What are your thoughts? Is it worth my time pursuing? She says that she's a low T.


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## Perseus (Mar 7, 2009)

*Spare Change ?*



Shadow said:


> There's probably already been a thread about this combination, but I'm too lazy to look it up. What are your thoughts? Is it worth my time pursuing? She says that she's a low T.




Money will be the problem, not enough of it, methinks! Disorganised mess ?


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## Spooky (Oct 30, 2008)

When in doubt, YouTube it.

YouTube - INTP and INFP


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## Happy (Oct 10, 2008)

I'm not sure about this combination. If it was an INTP Male and an INFP female it would be compatible. I seriously don't know about this one. Ask the intp females. haha:laughing:


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## MiasmaResonance (Jul 18, 2009)

I was in a "relationship" with an INFP male at one point. Though, it was more of a one-sided thing; he liked me and was a tad clingy. I found him to be very, very emotional and always wanting 'together time' which, for any INTP, is ok. However, INTPs, regardless of gender, do sometimes go off for long periods of time to think and work things out inside of their head, as to not have any subjective feelings come into play. This can be difficult for the INFP to understand. In the end, I couldn't bear the clingy behaviour and constant need for emotional support. Just my two cents.


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## Leahrachelle (Dec 9, 2009)

Uhmmm I would like to add my touch on this. I am an INTP female. I know a guy that was an INFP. He was attracted to me but was married. Claimed he did not let many people into his world. He thought of me as a great friend. Does not used the phone b/c he is isn't a phone person. Could not hang out with me b/c he was married and had a jealous wife. So being the INTP this annoyed the hell of out me b/c he said we were tight but never proved himself in any way that we were. I think the INTP would get offended that the INFP is this way and needs so much time alone. The INFP is also crazy about obsessing about numbers and figures. Statistics. They don't settle for less.....which can be good or drive the INTP nuts. I say they will get along and get each other but the INFP has so many feelings and gets hurt easy....the INTP woman....haha will hurt the INFP male. I've seen it. I've done it.


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## Alchemical Romance (Nov 26, 2009)

Not gonna happen...why? Because


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## Nightriser (Nov 8, 2008)

Alchemical Romance said:


> Not gonna happen...why? Because


Um, have you seen my room? Obviously not.


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## Alchemical Romance (Nov 26, 2009)

Nightriser said:


> Um, have you seen my room? Obviously not.


There's unorganized, and then there's pure chaos. I challenge you to a picture contest, may the worst housekeeping win. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Alchemical Romance (Nov 26, 2009)

Nightriser said:


> Um, have you seen my room? Obviously not.


There's unorganized, and then there's pure chaos. People say they need a shovel to move the books around at my place. I challenge you to a picture contest, may the worst housekeeping win. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Nightriser (Nov 8, 2008)

Alchemical Romance said:


> There's unorganized, and then there's pure chaos. People say they need a shovel to move the books around at my place. I challenge you to a picture contest, may the worst housekeeping win.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Oh, the irony. I just cleaned a few days ago (my Te is growing). I swear, it was awful. If you want an idea for how bad it gets, look at my most recent pictures in the member portraits thread. 



Fine, I'll post here. 










I use that because my camera is out of batteries and I'm too lazy to get more.


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## Alchemical Romance (Nov 26, 2009)

Nightriser said:


> Oh, the irony. I just cleaned a few days ago (my Te is growing). I swear, it was awful. If you want an idea for how bad it gets, look at my most recent pictures in the member portraits thread.
> 
> Hey at least everything's on the table. :crazy: I'll post my picture on monday cuz i'm away for the weekend on tour so I don't have the respources necesary. But seriously now, INTP's are probbably the best talkbuddies i ever had...but don't see how a relationship can be possible (long term i mean)...never had the chance though...therefore i can only imagine...guess i'm afraid i'd bore to death a INTP girl with my romantic talks and all that love NF mushy talk, relationships and all that, phylosophy...although having a debate partner for life near you does sound rather appealing. What do you think?


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## Leahrachelle (Dec 9, 2009)

As an INTP I would get bored with the mushy talks. If it's too much I would definitely be like GAWD. Romance is good like in spur of the moments when she isn't expecting things. Yup...you CAN find something to make her tick.

Talk buddies......is that why everyone calls me and tells me their problems.....hmmm.

In a relationship I would have to disagree with not being able to have a long term relationship with an INTP.


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## Alchemical Romance (Nov 26, 2009)

Leahrachelle said:


> In a relationship I would have to disagree with not being able to have a long term relationship with an INTP.



The post was about INFP and INTP...of course you can have a long term relationship with a INTP...but not be INFP at the same time...at least this is how I think the issue..as I said I never tested so i won't bet my life on it.


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## Leahrachelle (Dec 9, 2009)

I saw what the post was about....since I have reread this post several times and have already commented on it. I was just playing off of what you said....and was throwing out my INTP feelings on the matter.


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## SpankyMcFly (Oct 8, 2009)

Spooky said:


> When in doubt, YouTube it.
> 
> YouTube - INTP and INFP


*twilight zone music* I actually looked that very same video up a few weeks ago. I have about a dozen other links you'd find useful.

I've spent a couple hundred hours researching the INTP schematic as pertains to a possible coupling of a male INFP + female INTP for romantic purposes, leading to mate bonding. I've looked at attraction, conflict resolution, views on relationship philosophies, i.e. monogamy & trust/loyalty, sexual compatibility, world view dynamics as it pertains to a romantic involvement, i.e. ethics/morals/values, companionship, long term viability and especially the over arching "themes" of the two types.

At what stage in the assessment are you at? What is the nature of your relationship with her at this time? Are you friends? Does she suspect your interest in her? How old are you? How old is the INTP? What sort of relationship experience do you have? How about her? How is her Fe? Are you familiar with MBTI development theory, as pertains to age?

Granted, we are all complex amalgams of many factors and a mere type out of 16 possibilities doesn't do the human mind justice. That said, there are commonalities that I see trending and would be happy to share my insights and preliminary conclusions to date with you. There is just too much information for me to possibly list and I'm lazy and don't really want to type it all out :tongue:. May I suggest a chat in vent? PM me if you would like to set something up.

When something interests me I can become positively OCD about the subject. Sometimes it lasts a few days, other times it lasts weeks, only ending when my curiosity is sated. This is especially the case when it pertains to human interactions. Surly you can appreciate this .


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## Alchemical Romance (Nov 26, 2009)

Leahrachelle said:


> I saw what the post was about....since I have reread this post several times and have already commented on it. I was just playing off of what you said....and was throwing out my INTP feelings on the matter.


Look theoretically it can be possible but there are too manny variables to ba taken into account. You have to have a balanced INTP with a individuated feeling function also a INFP with a well individuated feeling function. Also there is the matter of society expectations, where men are expected to have a thinking function and women a feeling functions therefore both must be willing to step over these borders because the question was the possibility of relationship between a INFP male and an INTP female. Sure anyone can develop secondary functions, but first they have to be aware of such things. The great majority of the world doesn't have a clue about these things, be they INFP or INTP, so they naturally don't hold an open ear to alternative modes of perception, therefore always tend to form little armies fighting eachother rather then stable couples that try to learn form each other. I for one want to learn more about the types so i can be able to understand more the world i live in.


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## Spooky (Oct 30, 2008)

SpankyMcFly said:


> *twilight zone music* I actually looked that very same video up a few weeks ago. I have about a dozen other links you'd find useful.
> 
> I've spent a couple hundred hours researching the INTP schematic as pertains to a possible coupling of a male INFP + female INTP for romantic purposes, leading to mate bonding. I've looked at attraction, conflict resolution, views on relationship philosophies, i.e. monogamy & trust/loyalty, sexual compatibility, world view dynamics as it pertains to a romantic involvement, i.e. ethics/morals/values, companionship, long term viability and especially the over arching "themes" of the two types.
> 
> ...


I haven't talked to her in a long time, but we're still friends. She's in college, far, far away.


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## Leahrachelle (Dec 9, 2009)

Alchemical Romance said:


> Look theoretically it can be possible but there are too manny variables to ba taken into account. You have to have a balanced INTP with a individuated feeling function also a INFP with a well individuated feeling function. Also there is the matter of society expectations, where men are expected to have a thinking function and women a feeling functions therefore both must be willing to step over these borders because the question was the possibility of relationship between a INFP male and an INTP female. Sure anyone can develop secondary functions, but first they have to be aware of such things. The great majority of the world doesn't have a clue about these things, be they INFP or INTP, so they naturally don't hold an open ear to alternative modes of perception, therefore always tend to form little armies fighting eachother rather then stable couples that try to learn form each other. *I for one want to learn more about the types so i can be able to understand more the world i live in.*






Understood and I agree. That will take some time. I already have a pretty good understand of INFP b/c I know a guy that is. To sappy for me....I like that he is patient and very caring but he is overboard with lots of things.


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## blackandindie (Nov 30, 2009)

I was extremely attracted to a female INTP. Definitely the type I'm looking for.


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## Alchemical Romance (Nov 26, 2009)

Leahrachelle said:


> [/b]
> 
> 
> 
> Understood and I agree. That will take some time. I already have a pretty good understand of INFP b/c I know a guy that is. To sappy for me....I like that he is patient and very caring but he is overboard with lots of things.


Well, Mr. and Mrs. Perfect exist only in fairy tales, however this depends on user defined perfectness, that's actually the whole point of the compatibility issue, since there's no "the right way to be" different people have different expectations. That's why I said that, because of the common N, they're interest in abstract rather than concrete they are natural born debaters and explorers. However F vs T. An NF may fear the NT's detachment, and may find him/her to be cold. Also the NT may call the NF sappy, but what escapes both types is that all this is more or less a mind ilusion, usually shadow projection, when the person projects his inner opposites onto others, therefore the NT's shadow containing "sappyiness" and the NF's shadow coldness. Both NF's and the NT's (of course excepting those that know these things) "fear" the opposite, but this is pointless cause it's inside them as well within the shadow. I have been called sappy too, however never by women because of my attitude and my values. I respect the woman, give her a chance to talk and present her point of view, if I agree I agree, if not i present a counterpoint. However, because of societal standards society values men that "puts women in their place" --- never really understood what that means, because I am the respectful individual that opens the door in front of the lady, listens to what she has to say, present her with equal rights, and apply the same standards I apply to myself...usually high some men may think this is weak behaviour...well think what they may, i do nor really care. Well if that be called weak and sappy to love and respect, well then guilty as charged. And i'm damn proud of it too. Also it's a known fact that some females like that sort of alpha-male behaviour, never did understand why but...hey if people like to be bossed around all day...who am I to judge, it's a free country.:crazy:


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## Femme (Jul 12, 2009)

SpankyMcFly said:


> *twilight zone music* I actually looked that very same video up a few weeks ago. I have about a dozen other links you'd find useful.
> 
> I've spent a couple hundred hours researching the INTP schematic as pertains to a possible coupling of a male INFP + female INTP for romantic purposes, leading to mate bonding. I've looked at attraction, conflict resolution, views on relationship philosophies, i.e. monogamy & trust/loyalty, sexual compatibility, world view dynamics as it pertains to a romantic involvement, i.e. ethics/morals/values, companionship, long term viability and especially the over arching "themes" of the two types.


Spanky, do you think you can post a few wise words regarding those factors? I'm sure it would be much appreciated by many members.


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## sparrow (Jun 30, 2010)

This thread is not extremely old, so I hope it is all right to resurrect it. 

I am an INTP female. I am quite assured of this, though others familiar with MBTI are often surprised (frequently suspected of being as far off as ENFJ, even). 

I am currently broken up with my long-term (and LD) INTJ bf. We still talk, he still wants to get together again, but I'm keeping my distance. That is another issue but it's feeding some of my anxiety about the real reason I'm here. I started seeing a (male) INFP recently and I'm really falling for him. However the rational part of my brain is working overdrive on why it won't work out. He says he's totally in love with me and I believe him, and I'm also worried about hurting him.

So I guess I'm interested in any insights as you have in the pairing long-term. I'm almost never interested in short-term and certainly not with this guy. I think my major fear is that I've only known him a few months, I'm still in contact with my ex, which he knows about, but it's not a super healthy situation. I can't bring myself to coolly analyze my long-term happiness, because I find the number of unknowns >> knowns. These are the things that "sorting your feelings" is for and I don't know how!


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## timeless (Mar 20, 2010)

As a male INFP in a relationship with a female INTP, I can say that this is awesome.


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## sparrow (Jun 30, 2010)

Cool. The main thing I worry about is our Pness combining to form a ball of non-motivation where the bills never get paid and no one does the laundry. Ok, maybe not. Neither of us seems that bad on our own. But I am used to having my ass kicked every day by a J-type so the non-pressure is both freeing and scary. I can't tell if it's really good for us...


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

Spooky said:


> There's probably already been a thread about this combination, but I'm too lazy to look it up. What are your thoughts? Is it worth my time pursuing? She says that she's a low T.


Sigh. That's the relationship I just left.

I have good Feeling skills for an INTP, he has great Thinking skills for an INFP. We both tended to Ne a lot together and meet in the middle. I think our types were descriptive of the best part of our relationship. We could make each other laugh a lot when we "played" together, we delighted in those games, and we could both go anywhere in exploration.

I found it wonderful to have a guy who could initiate the relational aspects, since I'm a great responder but get drained if I'm left in charge of all the relational stuff; this left me to be myself, and he valued my clarity of thought on matters. We could have very deep discussions on a variety of topics, and both of us totally "got" each other.

Anyway... in the end, we broke up (my decision) because of a dealbreaker that we couldn't resolve (long story) and just not being in the same place in life right now.... but I wonder if I'll ever connect with anyone in the same way again.

So I'd just say the relationship has key fun/exploration connects with the Ne, and if both are mature and respect/understand alternate judging processes, Ti vs Fi won't really be too much of an issue. There's just such a great "big picture" sense in the combo. And because he was the more empathetic in terms of initiating things, and because I felt safe around him, I could just let myself feel whatever I was feeling and go with it and explore that part of me. Meanwhile, the INTP provides clarity and stability to a potentially emotionally volatile FP.


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