# Are you close with anyone that has Bipolar?



## chickydoda (Feb 12, 2010)

What have been your experiences? Do you think the negative stereotypes are fair?

Related thread: http://personalitycafe.com/general-chat/95526-grr-discriminary-terms.html


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## Ace Face (Nov 13, 2011)

I am close to a few. The stereotypes aren't at all fair in my opinion. They're not lunatic crazy or anything like that at all. I consider a couple of them the best people I have ever known. They truly are  They have very beautiful hearts.


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## nádej (Feb 27, 2011)

Yes, a few. Unfortunately quite a few of these people are not good examples of people with Bipolar that still lead functional lives.

Two of them are my cousins. One just attempted suicide for the eighth time in the past year and a half. He is 28 and brilliant musically, but is now in a state institution because there was just no other safe place for him to be anymore. 'Safe' meaning for both him and those around him. The other is 25, living at home, and just couldn't ever finish his degree and hasn't been able to hold a job due to difficulties managing the Bipolar. He's repeatedly 'let go' from jobs because he cannot meet all their expectations due to the degree of his disorder. He and his parents are trying to figure out where to go next.

A third is my godmother, and that's a whole mess. She's been in and out of institutions for the past eight or nine years now.

One of my aunts also had Bipolar, but when I was eleven she ran her car into a telephone pole and killed herself.


I do know though that some people are able to have Bipolar Disorder and lead completely productive, safe, and meaningful lives. I have a couple friends and a couple other cousins (it runs in my family) who have milder forms of Bipolar, and they are doing quite well with proper support.


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## Ace Face (Nov 13, 2011)

I am close to a few. The stereotypes aren't at all fair in my opinion. They're not lunatic crazy or anything like that at all. I consider a couple of them the best people I have ever known. They truly are  They have very beautiful hearts.


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## chickydoda (Feb 12, 2010)

I have bipolar, but I'm not doing that well. I'm on the verge of getting my first proper job *fingers crossed*, but besides that, I've never completed any study outside of high school or been in a serious relationship, even though I would love to get married tomorrow, if I was in a relationship with the right guy. I feel like I'm way behind for a 22 year old.

Besides me, I know at least three other people with the illness. I don't feel comfortable writing about it here, because I haven't exactly made myself annoynomous on this site.


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## chickydoda (Feb 12, 2010)

@Ace Face double post


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## basementbugs (Apr 5, 2012)

My neighbour upstairs has bipolar. We're not best friends or anything, but she's told me a fair amount about her experiences with it. It sounds like a living nightmare. I've only ever known her when she's been stable, and she's a very compassionate, fun and positive person to be around.

My husband's cousin was bipolar... and unfortunately, that story isn't so happy. He committed suicide in his late teens.

I have BPD, severe depression and several other mental health issues, so while I can't relate directly to the experience of being bipolar, I can very much relate to struggling with mental illness. It's a hell I wouldn't wish upon anyone.


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## Ntuitive (Jan 6, 2012)

I have bipolar 2. In my junior year of high school I suddenly went into a major depressive episode just weeks after being in a hypomanic episode. It was a very sudden change and I couldn't even function at school. I didn't want to do anything and was failling all of my honors classes. The year prior to that I was making straight A's. I ended up having to transfer to an alternative self-pace high school to graduate. I don't even know how many times I called the suicide hotline. I almost committed suicide twice and ended up in this hospital rehabilitation program for teenagers. I took medicine at first but it didn't seem to be working. I was kind of in denial and I stopped taking it and tried to figure it out on my own. All throughout college until my senior year I was suffering the whole time to some extent. I went into some sort of hypomanic state and could barely sleep for a month until I just sort of lost control. Too many details to describe but I ended up getting back on medicine again and realized that the problem was beyond my control. It actually helped me a lot. I wouldn't say my case is that serious, but I've struggled a lot emotionally with depression and anxiety.


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## intrasearching (Jul 15, 2011)

I just want to say... I send my love and best wishes to all of you and all those you know who struggle with bipolar/mental illness. Reading these has brought me to tears. I can't explain to you how awful it feels to me that so many struggle with this. I struggle emotionally, but I don't have any mental illness aside from ADD. I do have PTSD, though, which surely contributes to much of my struggle, but I think a lot of it is just related to being an INTP. We often don't have nice experiences when our emotions come out. But the point of my post is to say I wish nothing but the best for all of you. I wish there was something more tangible I could offer, but I hope knowing that at least one person sincerely wishes well for you will feel good in some way.

<3


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## Jewl (Feb 28, 2012)

My brother. 

I dislike stereotypes. A lot of the time they aren't true (pretty much all the time, really). 

It has been hard for our family. It took such a long time to get a diagnosis. I could write pages and pages of all my feelings and experiences and worries and hardships, but I won't. But I will simply say that yes, I am close to somebody with bipolar disorder. And I hate negative stereotypes.


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## Bel Esprit (Aug 2, 2011)

Ace Face said:


> I am close to a few. The stereotypes aren't at all fair in my opinion. They're not lunatic crazy or anything like that at all. I consider a couple of them the best people I have ever known. They truly are  They have very beautiful hearts.


 Do they take medication, may I ask?




The only experience I've had with someone bi-polar was incredibly bad and had a big impact on my personality as well as my life. 
Growing up, my mom was in a relationship with them for about seven years of my life. My mom and them fought constantly. Verbally and physically. And both me and my mom went through emotional and physical abuse. I loved them very much and I still do although I'm no longer in contact with them, but I was a kid, love kinda came with the package.


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## Ace Face (Nov 13, 2011)

Existentialismz said:


> Do they take medication, may I ask?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I'm sorry you went through that. Yes, they take their medicines... except for a couple of them. In fact, I got into a physical altercation with one of them a couple of weeks back. She still denies her diagnosis. It's kind of sad actually. She's a great person when she's balanced. I have another friend who has been diagnosed but doesn't take her meds... she's very disciplined though. She does not believe in medication, and she keeps herself balanced through meditation. It's been a very interesting thing to witness, and funnily enough, she's one of the diagnosed people that I would consider one of the best people I know


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## Aqualung (Nov 21, 2009)

My ex wife told me she was bipolar about 8 years after I divorced her. I thought >BINGO!< it all makes sense now. Looking back ALL the signs were there, right in front of everyone. We were seeing a psychologist for 2 years for marriage counseling. I was studying psychology in college & we did a whole semester on bipolar. It never occurred to anyone she was bipolar! She was very charismatic & charming when she needed to be so she hid it very well. She went downhill after I left. Another divorce, cocaine use, credit card debts, arrested for stealing & writing hot checks, jail time, calling the cops after every fight with her next husband, getting knocked up twice from casual dates. Had she been diagnosed & treated from the beginning I might still be with her today.


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## Liontiger (Jun 2, 2009)

I've never been close with anyone who had bipolar disorder, but I did room with a girl who had it. As far as I knew, she had a strong support system and medication, so it was probably unnoticeable to most people. I know she struggled with it from time to time, but it never really held her back from anything.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

I've never heard anyone using "biopolar" in a derogatory way. I don't even know what the stereotypes are; I guess it's wild mood swings?

My sister has bipolar II, but a lot of my complaints about her are common to the SP temperament (she's an ESFP). She just seems MAGNIFIED with bipolar, as if all of her personality flaws are more defining than they should be. She doesn't have wild mood swings...it was more like deep depression & then a recklessness w/irritability. Our family never felt like we were dealing with someone _crazy_, just emotionally extreme at times.

I don't really hold this against her, but I do see times when she skews something in her favor by using it as a crutch of sorts (being a bit manipulative seems to be one of those traits that is magnified). I think she still needs to take personal responsibility at times, especially as her meds have her pretty balanced now. She's even admitted that a lot of what she needs now is to learn better coping skills, because even people without bipolar have stress, anxiety, low moods, etc. Dealing with the side effects of her meds is an issue also. She has chronic insomnia, among other things, and this is what is currently preventing her from functioning fully (holding down a job). Her moods are pretty stabilized.


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## paper lilies (Dec 6, 2011)

I have Bipolar 1 and I am close with myself because I am myself (laughs).
I have never really been negatively stereotyped. 
I have been asked if I was manic at a time I was talking a lot, when I just happened to have a lot to say.
I have been asked if I was taking my meds when I was upset for a legitimate reason.
Those were a bit silly but, all in all, nothing too bad to be honest with you.
The worst thing to date I've heard as a stereotype is someone who had been in a relationship with an individual that apparently had bipolar and this individual was abusive, so now this person believes everyone with bipolar is abusive, which is ridiculous. I haven't harmed anyone in my life and I specifically hate violence of any kind, I can't even watch it on television. It disrupts my inner peace. 
Abuse is a completely different thing all together.

In any case, when I finally "came out" about my diagnosis everyone close was accepting and thoughtful.

If people are using negative stereotypes, it's probably because they're uneducated about the disorder.
I wouldn't take any comment too personally. They can live in their land if ignorance if they feel so entitled.


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## dejavu (Jun 23, 2010)

My sister (ESFP). One day a few years ago, she decided she had to live in Hawaii. She uprooted her little boy and husband and off they went. She can't afford to live there but she can't bear the thought of leaving. She split from her husband and her son lives with him on the mainland now. My sister is now either in a state of extreme unhappiness because she isn't with her son, or in a state of bliss because she's "living the dream in paradise." (I mentioned she can't actually afford to live there, right?) She can't make decisions because what she wants changes a lot by the day. The fact that this came on so fast terrifies me.

My mother (ISTJ). She's a hardcore alcoholic and has episodes of mania every now and then. I can't see her bipolar disorder as well as I can see my sister's, but I've definitely seen some weird stuff. Like sometimes she'll go out shopping and fall for every offer a sales clerk suggests. It pisses me off that they'd prey on her in that state but yeah. One day a few years ago, she suddenly decided to redecorate the kitchen in a fish theme, which I think was very manic.

I don't exactly know what the negative stereotypes are, but I see nothing positive about it.


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## paper lilies (Dec 6, 2011)

dejavu said:


> I don't exactly know what the negative stereotypes are, but I see nothing positive about it.


I have done two months of university coursework in two days.
I pass all of my courses with flying colors when I'm hypomanic.
I'm witty, charming, hilarious, I have a comeback for everything and I'm the life of the party.
Hypomania is what got me through high school.
There's a few positives.

Until it takes a rocky turn to full blown mania, that's the negative outcome.
I tend to experience psychotic breaks during manic episodes.
However, what goes up must come down to bipolar depression which is the total shit end of the stick.

Also, I have never had any drug or alcohol problems in my life.
I refuse to drink or take any drugs of any kind. I don't even smoke.
I notice drugs and alcoholism being a common stereotype.
This may be true for some but certainly not all.


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## Agelaius (Apr 3, 2010)

Yeah, sorta... 

I am bipolar, specifically.




paper lilies said:


> I have done two months of university coursework in two days.
> I pass all of my courses with flying colors when I'm hypomanic.
> I'm witty, charming, hilarious, I have a comeback for everything and I'm the life of the party.
> Hypomania is what got me through high school.
> ...


I'm much the same way. I smoke on occasion and drink even less, but lately I've been extra wary since my moods have been getting a little more unstable. When I'm hypomanic life is AWESOME. When I'm manic? Ugh... talk about later regrets... Manic-depression? Now THAT'S a cruddy time. :frustrating:


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