# Reverse mirroring



## Caelestis (Oct 3, 2012)

Something interesting that I catch myself doing frequently while socializing is a sort of "reverse mirroring." For some reason I seem to take on the opposite behavior of the person I'm socializing with. If I'm with a quiet, emotionally stiff person, I morph into a more talkative, lighthearted persona. And when I'm with an energetic, emotive person, I become more laid back with a frequent ironic sense of humor. When I'm with a fearful person, I become more daring, with a brave person, more fearful. 

Some of this might resemble type 6, when I think of it, but I'm curious to hear thoughts on this and if there's been any talk of it in Socionics circles or whatever.


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## Vermillion (Jan 22, 2012)

Huh, I do the same thing quite often. I'm extremely attuned to people's moods and tones and I'll adapt to become the sort of person that would best fit the conversation. Like, with a badass SLE, I can be sweet, shy, and giggle a lot. With some closed off introvert, I'll become more jumpy and adventurous. (What do you like to do? We should totally try X new thing!)

But I can also mirror a person's attitude and values directly, if that seems like a better option. Ultimately, I really like to get along with people and let them have a good impression of me.

Eventually my normal personality, which is actually a mix of ALL these things, will show itself when I become comfortable.

I can definitely see it being an attachment triad thing, since it's all about relations and connections to the outside world, its people, and its norms. We have totally different Sociotypes so maybe it is not related to that after all.


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## Serpent (Aug 6, 2015)

I do this as well. I'm a type 3. I become very reticent and guarded in the company of someone who has a strong presence or is very talkative. On the other hand, when I'm hanging out with a quiet guy, I am very energetic and assertive. I've noticed that I can be the most extroverted guy in the room if we're doing something I enjoy. For example, playing soccer. During the walk to the field, my friends would be socializing while I would rarely say a word. Then, as soon as we hit the field, I would become very outgoing or even take charge. Complete 180.


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## Caelestis (Oct 3, 2012)

So far, two 6s and one 3 have experience with this sort of thing. It being a part of the attachment triad has that going for it at least.

In some ways I can see it as a sort of compensation for what is lacked in the atmosphere. Even if I'm perfectly comfortable with the other party, I still find myself acting contrary to them. It's less pronounced with my really close relationships, but still there.



Night Huntress said:


> I can definitely see it being an attachment triad thing, since it's all about relations and connections to the outside world, its people, and its norms. We have totally different Sociotypes so maybe it is not related to that after all.


Yeah. For the most part it can also be chalked up to just standard behavior adjustments around other people that almost everyone does, but looking around I found that most talk was about standard mirroring, not this weird contrarian pattern I find myself doing almost exclusively. 

I'm not entirely confident about my type though, so if it may be related to some sort of function I'd be interested in how. I remember reading that something similar to this applies to the super-id and that one may attempt to "supply their dual function" if they don't get an adequate amount of it in the environment.


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## Lord Fenix Wulfheart (Aug 18, 2015)

Caelestis said:


> Something interesting that I catch myself doing frequently while socializing is a sort of "reverse mirroring." For some reason I seem to take on the opposite behavior of the person I'm socializing with. If I'm with a quiet, emotionally stiff person, I morph into a more talkative, lighthearted persona. And when I'm with an energetic, emotive person, I become more laid back with a frequent ironic sense of humor. When I'm with a fearful person, I become more daring, with a brave person, more fearful.
> 
> Some of this might resemble type 6, when I think of it, but I'm curious to hear thoughts on this and if there's been any talk of it in Socionics circles or whatever.


Well, for Socionics this sounds Dynamic. Specifically, Fe. Its regulating the emotional atmosphere kinda thing, you know? If you are more energetic, you bring the other person's energy level up as they mirror you. By doing this you are altering the atmosphere. The question is if it is on purpose and intended that way. Why do you do this? What are your intentions?

Is this always conscious for you? Or a new discovery? If its usual and conscious, you may be an Fe Ego (or Super-Ego if you think its a bad thing).


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## Serpent (Aug 6, 2015)

In my case, it's organic. It just happens. There is no motivation behind it, I don't intentionally alter my persona. When I'm in the presence of a subdued and quiet person, I just feel more assertive and confident, occasionally I even feel like I have power over him. As in, the dynamic of our interactions is such that I'm in the dominant position. Likewise, I have this prevailing feeling of inferiority in the presence of certain people which is why I become more reticent and aloof around them. I have noticed this in interactions with my friends, some friends I can talk freely and comfortably with while some just seem to dominate me. It's more of a case of me unconsciously altering my state depending on my company than me attempting to influence the atmosphere.


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## Vermillion (Jan 22, 2012)

Caelestis said:


> So far, two 6s and one 3 have experience with this sort of thing. It being a part of the attachment triad has that going for it at least.
> 
> In some ways I can see it as a sort of compensation for what is lacked in the atmosphere. Even if I'm perfectly comfortable with the other party, I still find myself acting contrary to them. It's less pronounced with my really close relationships, but still there.
> 
> ...


Yeah, I "supply" my superid whenever I feel like it's completely absent in the environment. But if I'm with actual Ni/Te egos, I love absorbing what they have to say instead of dominating the conversations with my own opinions in that (Ni/Te) area. In that situation I prefer emphasizing my own ego block more and trying to ground the conversation some more.

I don't experience any serious deficit of understanding in any information aspect though, not even my superego -- it annoys me, but I don't feel inadequate. All in all I feel competent in being a variety of different personalities, adopting different mindsets, and accomplishing different types of goals -- I can be a diplomatic communicator as much as I can be an efficient strategizer. It aaalll depends on the situation and what I feel I need to make up for in the environment. It's a bit weird, because I think I mask my own emotions under that anxiety of sleek and _effective _adaptation, and it really takes a while for everything about me to emerge. Gosh, what an overflow of my 3 fix :dry:


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## Mr inappropriate (Dec 17, 2013)

Very good example for *negativist* reinin.


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## Caelestis (Oct 3, 2012)

Fenix Wulfheart said:


> Well, for Socionics this sounds Dynamic. Specifically, Fe. Its regulating the emotional atmosphere kinda thing, you know? If you are more energetic, you bring the other person's energy level up as they mirror you. By doing this you are altering the atmosphere. The question is if it is on purpose and intended that way. Why do you do this? What are your intentions?
> 
> Is this always conscious for you? Or a new discovery? If its usual and conscious, you may be an Fe Ego (or Super-Ego if you think its a bad thing).


Unconscious. I don't know if I think think of as a bad thing per say, but it is frustrating mostly because I don't know where it comes from. I appreciate it because when I shut my brain off and stop being anxious, it comes automatically and makes socializing a lot less draining. But I definitely don't like how, when it does happen and I'm with a certain person (my close friend for example), I become almost rambly to the point of sounding like a ditz and being way too compliant compared to how I'm usually like. I'll assert my opinions always, but I'll run loops with words to soften the perceived blow when I really just wanna say "fuck you, you're wrong, here's why" like an annoyed backseat driver. 

If I do it to influence the atmosphere, It would mostly be to get an active stream of interaction flowing because I'm easily bored. If I'm with a shy, quiet person, I add wood to the fire, and if I'm with someone who obviously carries enough of that them self, I'll adjust myself to not feed it and even temper it if it comes down to it.



Serpent said:


> In my case, it's organic. It just happens. There is no motivation behind it, I don't intentionally alter my persona. When I'm in the presence of a subdued and quiet person, I just feel more assertive and confident, occasionally I even feel like I have power over him. As in, the dynamic of our interactions is such that I'm in the dominant position. Likewise, I have this prevailing feeling of inferiority in the presence of certain people which is why I become more reticent and aloof around them. I have noticed this in interactions with my friends, some friends I can talk freely and comfortably with while some just seem to dominate me. It's more of a case of me unconsciously altering my state depending on my company than me attempting to influence the atmosphere.


I would agree with this, minus a couple exceptions. If I feel I have more power over another person, I'll become much more bold and assertive, but in the same token, more compliant, almost as if I have to coddle their feelings. My close friend that I've mentioned above tends to be the most active recipient of my behavior changes, funnily enough, even though I'm definitely comfortable around them, and we're on completely equal playing fields.




Night Huntress said:


> Yeah, I "supply" my superid whenever I feel like it's completely absent in the environment. But if I'm with actual Ni/Te egos, I love absorbing what they have to say instead of dominating the conversations with my own opinions in that (Ni/Te) area. In that situation I prefer emphasizing my own ego block more and trying to ground the conversation some more.
> 
> I don't experience any serious deficit of understanding in any information aspect though, not even my superego -- it annoys me, but I don't feel inadequate. All in all I feel competent in being a variety of different personalities, adopting different mindsets, and accomplishing different types of goals -- I can be a diplomatic communicator as much as I can be an efficient strategizer. It aaalll depends on the situation and what I feel I need to make up for in the environment. It's a bit weird, because I think I mask my own emotions under that anxiety of sleek and _effective _adaptation, and it really takes a while for everything about me to emerge. Gosh, what an overflow of my 3 fix :dry:


I've experienced this as well. Assuming that I'm actually an SLI, I can count numerous times that I may have tried to supply Ne with my more grounded friends, and then completely took a seat back and let my Si/Te flourish with my brother, who I suspect is IEE. 

Heh, yeah. I think that most Socionics descriptions focus too much on incompetence in the 1d/2d blocks in the form of concrete skills. For a while I was confused over whether or not someone could be skilled in all aspects of life and not be some mutant in socionics or something. The superego is painted as a dramatic Achilles heel that we're fated to be terrible at and hate forever, even though it's ultimately about cognition and cognition only. Your view of the world, not how you perform in it. That's more of a potential consequence, but definitely not the root itself.



crashbandicoot said:


> Very good example for *negativist* reinin.


Elaborate?


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## Lord Fenix Wulfheart (Aug 18, 2015)

Hm. Sounds like Contact Ethics. Not Inert. Changes based on Contact with the conversational other. May not be Fe after all. IEE does this too, sometimes. IEE is more rules-based with it, though, I think. Can articulate how and when to do it and why according to Fi concerns.


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## Jakuri (Sep 7, 2015)

Caelestis said:


> crashbandicoot said:
> 
> 
> > Very good example for *negativist* reinin.
> ...


I think he meant this: negativists tend to focus what is opposite to what's being presented (To quote Wikisocion's Positivist/Negativist page: "Figuratively speaking, if Positivists are shown the front side then they will be looking at the front side, while Negativists will try to look at its inverse."), and the reverse mirroring you are talking about does exactly that.


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## Mr inappropriate (Dec 17, 2013)

Jakuri said:


> I think he meant this: negativists tend to focus what is opposite to what's being presented (To quote Wikisocion's Positivist/Negativist page: "Figuratively speaking, if Positivists are shown the front side then they will be looking at the front side, while Negativists will try to look at its inverse."), and the reverse mirroring you are talking about does exactly that.


Exactly ! Thank you for finding this article, i was having trouble accessing it, so i would have given a very short explaniation.

Especially read the additional notes part.


> ...Thus Negativists do not seek to present a "negative" or "pessimistic" view of things, but simply the inverse or the alternative one. It is precisely due to such mental preference that a Negativist type such as ILI voices pessimistic predictions upon hearing optimistic forecasts. From a Negativist's point of view, he or she is not being a downer, but *rather restoring the balance by pointing out the opposite. Since Negativist types are inclined to look for the inverse, if they are presented with pessimistic information they start searching for its alternatives, for what is absent and not there, such as a more optimistic interpretation.* If the same ILI is told that everything is bleak, he or she will proceed to look for evidence that the situation is really not as bleak as it could have been. This distinguishes socionics trait of Negativism from manifestations of personal traits such as pessimism, depression, or propensity...


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