# ESXP signs of attraction in a classroom/workplace setting?



## Appi (Sep 3, 2014)

Signs of attraction towards classmate/coworker? Just wondering. Think primarily whether if an increase in class participation and looking down when facing crush, even if you're looking at someone between you, signify anything. Do you guys even notice people not in your friend group? Also if people around you you had an affinity with loosely flirted with and found this person attractive. Leaving class early because crush normally does vs. sticking around because you think crush might. Looking for hyper-sensitive small signals, if there are any  Also this would be someone you had never spoken to, so does that in itself signify disinterest (small classroom/workplace)?


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## Appi (Sep 3, 2014)

I mean, there have got to be some...


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## something987 (Jul 20, 2014)

Appi said:


> an increase in class participation


not for me but maybe


> and looking down when facing crush, even if you're looking at someone between you, signify anything.


no, I like to look at my crush's pretty face, but maybe they are shy


> Do you guys even notice people not in your friend group?


depends, but generally yes, otherwise we would have no friends


> Also if people around you you had an affinity with loosely flirted with and found this person attractive.


not sure what this means


> Leaving class early because crush normally does vs. sticking around because you think crush might.


maybe, but I think it's a good idea to stay in class to um, pass the class, so I probably wouldn't... but someone who doesn't care about school might


> Looking for hyper-sensitive small signals, if there are any  Also this would be someone you had never spoken to, so does that in itself signify disinterest (small classroom/workplace)?


I don't know about small signals, I am usually pretty obvious when I like someone. Like very obvious. I will talk to them more than normal and make efforts to get involved in their conversations and their group. And be very friendly and smiley around them. I would definitely speak to them though. I mean I'm more reserved than many ESFPs I've known but even I would have a hard time *not* talking to someone I like. I think this goes for all xSFPs, from my experience, we are quite intent on getting what we want. I assume ESTPs would be too. So...if this person has not talked to you and doesn't seem like they're going to, I would say they are not attracted to you.


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

I stopped 'crushing' on people when I was 13. When I was single, if I was attracted to someone, I was pretty direct.


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## f8alz28 (Nov 13, 2014)

I'll answer your questions first before going on my own rambling.



Appi said:


> Signs of attraction towards classmate/coworker? Just wondering. Think primarily whether if an increase in class participation and looking down when facing crush, even if you're looking at someone between you, signify anything. Do you guys even notice people not in your friend group? Also if people around you you had an affinity with loosely flirted with and found this person attractive. Leaving class early because crush normally does vs. sticking around because you think crush might. Looking for hyper-sensitive small signals, if there are any  Also this would be someone you had never spoken to, so does that in itself signify disinterest (small classroom/workplace)?


Increased participation might be a sign if they're trying to show off.
Looking down might be an indicator of interest if it was in the, "I just got caught staring, I better look down" sense. It can also indicate being shy.
Looking at someone between you might be an attempt to sneak a look at you.
I know some people don't really notice anything around them, but I always notice the people around me.
I too don't understand what you mean by affinity with loosely flirted such and such.
Leaving early meaning, cutting class? If so, that's obsessive. If you mean, class is dismissed and they rush or lag to time their exit together, it might be an indicator.
I don't know what you mean about hyper-sensitive small signs.

Some people are explicit with showing attraction, they'll tell you or ask you out. Some people are expressive with showing attraction by doing things for you or ask you out.

It depends really. I differentiate between crush and attraction; ... and ... love? This is how:

A crush is when you're really into someone, acting on it is not necessary, and quite often it's physical in nature. They tend to pass, "It was just a crush."

Attraction is when you're into someone, for a variety of reasons, and must act on it. It doesn't have to be purely physical though.

Love is ... sickening by most people's definitions. To me it's having enough *mutual* trust with a person to let your guard down without feeling so exposed and vulnerable; along with attraction; and ... affection.

I'm faced with a situation where I guess I'm into this one chick in class. She's attractive, she's smart, she's cool; body, brains, and awesome. I've even jokingly told one of my friends while gesturing at her, "I can commit, she's my next ex-wife." Problem is, I'm going to be stuck in the same program with her for 4 years, and if she gets hurt it's going to suck (which is never my intention) because we're going to be exposed to each other, mutual friends, and classmates for 4 years. I want to act on my impulses and normally I would, but I'm not sure if grad school is the best place for that; stakes are higher. Someone convince me I should go for it, lol. So I distract myself with other nice ladies, and try to convince (... deceive) myself that this is just a crush, and so it will pass. This is contradicting my "Just Do It!" attitude. So am I just another ESTP fearing commitment in this case?


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## Acadia (Mar 20, 2014)

my ex was either an esfp or an enfp, and he was tremendously direct, even as a teenager. it wasn't so much an 'in front of everybody else' sort of thing, it was private {possibly because I'm introverted} but also obvious. there was little guess-work to be done--until, oddly enough, we had been together for a long while. go figure


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## lumostartarus (Apr 1, 2014)

Throw a paper plane with no context at you. You turn around and study their body language and facial expressions as to find out what they want from you. 
They later tell their friends you was trying to flirt by staring at them.


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## Choice (May 19, 2012)




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