# Type your teenage years



## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> we do it they're hawt :tongue:


Not really.


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## Quernus (Dec 8, 2011)

So Four, such wing Five. 

The first half of my teenage years, I was a reclusive nerd. I also intentionally brought negative attention upon myself for being different because otherwise I was just ignored, so that's all I knew how to do. I was mystified by how drone-like everyone around me seemed (to my perception at the time). No concern for style or fashion whatsoever. Lived through novels, fantasy worlds I created in my mind, and the internet. 

Second half, around 16.5, I developed a serious eating disorder and everything changed. I was still very convinced that no one understood me, that I was an alien to my family and society. I started getting a lot of positive attention for my appearance, this was new for me, so I felt constantly like I was just hiding behind a mask. Very passionate about politics, resented everything to do with monotony and the status quo.

I'd say possibly my gut-type was more 9w8ish, 1ish. I was more confrontational and more willing to externalize my defensiveness. I also thought I had all the answers and that the world was falling apart due to everyone's cowardice and complacency. 

At first I thought maybe I seemed more six-fixish at the time, because I desperately yearned for some sort of guidance that I felt I lacked (in terms of passion and direction of my heart), but that may be a misunderstanding of Six. I was still very much in my own little world, my main fear being having my inner-resources stolen from me. That's all I felt I had against the cold world, just like now. However, I did seem more loyal and ready to commit to things, and interested in harmony and common humanity. Whereas now I'm very afraid of overcommitting and avoid it like the plague... etc.

SO BASICALLY while I suppose I've always been 459, my teenage years from a birds-eye view could be typed as 459/451/469/461 lol.


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## The Scorched Earth (May 17, 2010)

ElliCat said:


> Unhealthy 4 for sure, although I'm unsure of the wing. I did try on a few identities - first trying to fit in, then slowly getting into the whole "gawth rawk" thing, then moving into identifying as a metalhead - but they felt totally real at the time and I still retain bits of those inside me even though it definitely came across as trying too hard.
> 
> But oh gods the angst.... the* angst*!!!!!


What is it with 4s and goth? I never had much interest in it.


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## The Scorched Earth (May 17, 2010)

Cosmic Orgasm said:


> black men are rarely un-handsome. roud:
> XD


Maybe so, but quite a few tend to be fat. -_-


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Phoenix_Rebirth said:


> Title says it all. Let's see what you got. Explain your choises. :ninja:


"Insane" says it all.


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## FakeLefty (Aug 19, 2013)

I gotta think about this one. Weird shit happens when you're in your teenage years...


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

Cosmic Orgasm said:


> black men are rarely un-handsome. roud:
> XD


and of all the places you could live, you chose the UK? :laughing:
(the boyz here are more my cup of tea. so twinky and adorable :blushed:


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## chimeric (Oct 15, 2011)

Same type as I am now, just...more so, because hormones were out of whack.

In my head, stuck in daydreams. Reclusive, not trusting anyone. Intense emotions that I only expressed through writing and art. Cripplingly low self esteem, intense anxiety, violent self hatred. A belief that I was incompetent at everything, yet "deeper" than most people and fundamentally different. Fun four stuff.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

The Scorched Earth said:


> Maybe so, but quite a few tend to be fat. -_-


LOL  I don't mind a guy, black or otherwise, who's somewhat heavyset as long as he is physically strong and active. :kitteh: I do have a bit of a black men bias, though. :3 XD

I don't like slobs-- thin slobs and fat slobs. As for black men, the ones I've dated have, overwhelmingly, been athletic to the point where it gave me a complex about being lazy in comparison. :laughing: 
@_Swordsman of Mana_ has seen photos of my Ex.  He was very disciplined and pushed himself hard as a martial artist, football player and more. It showed in his build and his strength. He inspired me to get even fitter, through his example, though he was demi and size positive. <3 He was attracted to bigger women and thin ones and those in between. 

Also, SOM, there's no dearth of super sexy black men in the UK, I assure you.


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## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

Still a 3 but completely disintegrated to 9. I hated everything and everyone during my teen years. I think psychologically in shambles would be a good way to describe my mental state then. :\

I kind of wonder how I managed to grow out of that phase into the kick ass person that I am today. :mellow:

;D


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## Ace Face (Nov 13, 2011)

I don't know how to type myself as a teenager. Maybe after I talk things through on here, I can come to a better conclusion. 


* *




At the core, I am a very happy, bubbly loving person. I thoroughly enjoy life, and am optimistic to a fault at times. 

During my teenage years, I was dealing with conflict pretty much everywhere I went. My home was divided. Both of my parents found other partners, and I didn't like either of them. I wanted to like them; that is my nature. There were things about their personalities that really clashed with mine, and that made living under the same roof tough at times. My blood parents always felt caught in the middle when I would have disagreements with my step-parents. My step-parents would complain that I was out of control, when in reality, I was being controlled, and to quite a degree. I was a caged animal, and all I craved was freedom. I was never afraid to voice my opinion, but I was often treated poorly for doing so. I usually faced all the conflict at home head-on, but when it was all said and done, I was often very hurt by what my parents said and did. I would pretend I wasn’t. I would often try to distract myself from the pain. I would drown in and live vicariously through my music. I would fantasize about what I would do when I was free. I would also try to rationalize, minimize really, what was going on. I would treat the conflicts like they weren’t a big deal, convince myself I was being dramatic when I felt hurt and that everything was okay. I would find something to do... something to focus on. I would often throw myself into creative projects. And while most teens with rocky home lives found comfort in going to school, I did not, not really. Back then, I denied how much pain I was in at school… how much pain some of the people there caused me. 
Everywhere I went, things were rocky. I had attended the same school from the time I was ten until I graduated when I was eighteen. I was around the same people, had the same teachers every year, etc. This school was a private school that was run and owned by a local church, so even on the weekends, I went to church and had to see all the same people... my teachers, my classmates, the underclassmen, the upperclassmen... EVERYONE. I never got a fucking day off from dealing with idiots, lol. I got sick of doing the same damn thing, and hearing the same damn sermons at church and at school. I got sick of people twisting Scripture and ostracizing anyone who brought up a valid point when challenging what was being preached or taught. And of course, when my teachers did or said something incorrectly, I jumped in to correct them and make them look like idiots in front of my classmates. I enjoyed this very much. These people, leading these mindless teenage bozos no less, were teaching material that was incorrect, and twisting Scripture to gain control of people. It was a cult of its own, and I was stuck right in the midst of it. I mean, what do you even do when you see so much wrong happening, and you have no escape? Well, I did the best I could. I repressed my pain and my sadness. Little did I know, that pain and sadness would turn into anger, and that anger would turn into hate. This all because I had not properly acknowledged my pain. I felt stuck. I had nowhere else to go. I dealt with most things by taking them head on. At home and at school, I was verbally abused, physically attacked, and the list goes on. It bothered me though, that after time, few people saw me as a person. Here I am, at the core, this really happy, sensitive, kind, intelligent young lady with a huge heart, and everybody hates me. And this was not imagined or exaggerated hate. I was hated by many, and some were so bold as to voice it to my face. As odd as it sounds, I had respect for that. I had made many enemies by voicing my opinions, by attempting to correct what was incorrect, by making my observations known. At the same time though, I had also gained respect from unexpected people. It was an interesting dynamic. There were those who adored and practically worshiped me. The underclassmen in high school, some of the junior high kids, and even many elementary kids absolutely loved me--they saw me for who I am. They saw… they saw my heart. It intrigued me because everybody else saw me for my critical thinking. These kids treated me like a person, like an equal. The younger ones would often call out my name anytime they saw me walk by. I always embraced the children. I fell in love with their sweet innocence and their desire to be loved and be treated nicely... I tried to oblige them as often as I could. I knew many of those sweet little babies had parents who were... less than conventionally good parents. I wanted the kids to know that somebody loved them, and that they had someone they could talk to if they needed it. I reached out to many younger kids with varying age ranges. I would encourage the kids and teens to write me notes if they needed me. There were days in which I received up to twelve notes in one day. I was very diligent about responding to each one, and making sure that I provided each person with the same quality of attention. I was active in my community, and did many positive things for the school despite the fucktards that worked there. I coached the elementary soccer team and the elementary volleyball team. I also tutored underlcassmen, and it was all voluntary. I developed some really deep, intense relationships with certain people… some younger, some older. I craved that intimacy very greatly. 

Had you asked me then how I was at the time, I always replied that I was great and that I couldn’t complain. I was confident that I could handle anything that life brought my way. I was always smiling... always found reasons to laugh and enjoy life despite how fucking shitty it was at times. I had a small handful of friends, and we were the outcasts at school. We made the best of the hand we were dealt. We had a good time and had many good laughs at everyone else's expense on pretty much a daily basis. We were a bit elitist, but we were surrounded by completely fucking buffoons, lol. You couldn't make up half the shit we dealt with on a daily basis. We dealt with some seriously strange cult bull shit.




TL;DR

I was this happy, bubbly ball of energy. I was very engaging with most people most of the time, but I was often villainized for voicing my opinions. When I got into conflict with people I loved, I was sometimes very hurt by the things they did and said, but I would never acknowledge the pain. I would just keep going as if nothing had ever happened. I would rationalize, minimize, and downplay the situations. I would throw myself into projects and try to have fun and do something creative so I would have something to focus on other than my problems. I was very friendly, especially to those younger than I.

Yeah, I would type teenage me at 7w6, 1w2, 2w3 so/sx maybe?


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## ElliCat (May 4, 2014)

The Scorched Earth said:


> What is it with 4s and goth? I never had much interest in it.


But it's like, so _deep_ and _emotional_ and shit! And black's, like, slimming!

Actually I still like a darker edge to my music. And I LOVE the Victorian aesthetic. And I walk through graveyards for fun. But yeah... black's not really my best colour. And I don't do angst very well these days. I don't know, maybe it's because the typical teenage culture where I grew up emphasised fun and celebrities and sports and avoiding life's big questions like the plague, while I saw my body as a vessel for my tumultuous storm of emotions and wasn't afraid to dive deep into things that they were frightened of and felt like an outcast because of it. I can see exactly why a 4 teenager would be attracted to it, but I can also see why a 4 who wasn't "feeling" it would have no clue as to why anyone would want to be like that!


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## The Scorched Earth (May 17, 2010)

ElliCat said:


> But it's like, so _deep_ and _emotional_ and shit! And black's, like, slimming!
> 
> Actually I still like a darker edge to my music. And I LOVE the Victorian aesthetic. And I walk through graveyards for fun. But yeah... black's not really my best colour. And I don't do angst very well these days. I don't know, maybe it's because the typical teenage culture where I grew up emphasised fun and celebrities and sports and avoiding life's big questions like the plague, while I saw my body as a vessel for my tumultuous storm of emotions and wasn't afraid to dive deep into things that they were frightened of and felt like an outcast because of it. I can see exactly why a 4 teenager would be attracted to it, but I can also see why a 4 who wasn't "feeling" it would have no clue as to why anyone would want to be like that!


Aside from some truly unhealthy periods during high school and college, I never had much affinity with death and dying . I have too many goals for that.


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## Aha (Mar 6, 2014)

I had a pretty fighting childhood and I was confused when I get to middle school and had no fights afterwards. I still trained karate, taekwondo, judo but also I started to play football (european) with people and it consumed my energy to some extend (I played almost all the free time). 
When I first fell in love, I was not sure what to do with it (I was ashamed of myself, I had no idea what is happening, total confusion). I had no wish to contact with girls because they were still my enemy at the time (don't laugh). Well, you can laugh roud: So, I kept it inside for years and it kinda flourished inside me and transformed me from interior. And probably from that stemmed my 4-fix. I consider myself a romantic person. I will not elaborate more because of reasons.
Also, I've got the 7fix on me from my ENTPiness, of course, but also by influence of my friends. They were all 7s. I was not too much into traveling and degustating countless things but I was and am better/sharper at the humour part and seeing positive side in negative things.


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## ElliCat (May 4, 2014)

The Scorched Earth said:


> Aside from some truly unhealthy periods during high school and college, I never had much affinity with death and dying . I have too many goals for that.


If you're getting at idealisation of suicide, I was never into that either. I had that 7-ish "but there's something better after school! I can _feel_ it!" holding me back. But of course I was conscious of our mortality and what, if anything, might come after death and so on. 

Or if you're talking about cemetary, it's not such a big deal where I live. They're more like parks - lots of trees, small wild animals, flowers, etc - and I love to see the tombstone artwork and look at the names and imagine what sort of people they were and what their lives might have been like. I'm not the seance-in-the-graveyard-at-midnight type, and even when I was a teenager I probably wouldn't've done it, when push came to shove!


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## onyxbrain (Mar 30, 2014)

My "teen years"- were not too long back, as I currently am 21 (22 in December).
So, this is not a distant reflection. 
My teen years would not necessarily be best-described by any specific type. I suppose, if I had to use a representation, it would be the tri-type 5-4-8. Specifically sx 5-4-8.

I am sure that I read like a broken record sounds, every time that I mention I have an unhealthy 8w7 father. 

5-4-8: more reactive and temperamental, such Fives find it harder to control their emotions than other tritypes. They are basically sensitive, reclusive and ingenious, occasionally indulging in (romantic) day-dreams and fantasies, but once in a while their fierce, visceral side reveals itself explosively and gets to surprise people who don’t know them well. These Fives are usually selfish and whimsical, considering themselves entitled to special treatment which they will sometimes claim aggressively. They are prone to mood swings and rage outbursts.​
Initially, on pasting, I intended to "highlight that which applies to me," but it stands on its own. There is not any part I would emphasize more than the rest. That was my teenage years, up until I had my child (19). 

Some edge has been smoothed, and I can also resemble the 5-4-1, as I have become more withdrawn over the last couple of years. 5-4-8 still is apparent. It may come as surprising for those who have noticed me on this forum, but most people who have known me for years have suggested, or believe, that I am an 8. They, of course, are not well-versed on the Enneagram, and do not understand the inconsistencies. I have always had a tendency to be very independent, paired with a tendency to be a tyrant and dominating. I had significant rage issues in both my childhood and teenage years, but more so my teen years. My childhood consisted of me being isolated, with maybe two handfuls of times where I had violent outbursts. I did, however, (in early childhood) have a desire to control others.


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## ghostgirl (Apr 22, 2014)

ElliCat said:


> But it's like, so _deep_ and _emotional_ and shit! And black's, like, slimming!
> 
> Actually I still like a darker edge to my music. And I LOVE the Victorian aesthetic. And I walk through graveyards for fun. But yeah... black's not really my best colour. And I don't do angst very well these days. I don't know, maybe it's because the typical teenage culture where I grew up emphasised fun and celebrities and sports and avoiding life's big questions like the plague, while I saw my body as a vessel for my tumultuous storm of emotions and wasn't afraid to dive deep into things that they were frightened of and felt like an outcast because of it. I can see exactly why a 4 teenager would be attracted to it, but I can also see why a 4 who wasn't "feeling" it would have no clue as to why anyone would want to be like that!


Type 4 current teenager here... 
I feel like I have the tendency to be like that oh god *hides*. Well actually I'm not /that/ cringey (compared to the !!wow I'm so alternative XD!! scene kids online). More like- wow fall out boy lyrics really [get] me, ahh I need that brand new shirt and someone else will like them and we can fall in love n crap.

But- dude. Graveyards are so nice to walk through, I'm not religious or anything, but it's something about feeling connected to the life cycle and death not being scary an- oh dear I actually do sound pretty emo

I'll grow out of it.

Maybe.

x


Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

ElliCat said:


> If you're getting at idealisation of suicide, I was never into that either. I had that 7-ish "but there's something better after school! I can _feel_ it!" holding me back. But of course I was conscious of our mortality and what, if anything, might come after death and so on.
> 
> Or if you're talking about cemetary, it's not such a big deal where I live. They're more like parks - lots of trees, small wild animals, flowers, etc - and I love to see the tombstone artwork and look at the names and imagine what sort of people they were and what their lives might have been like. I'm not the seance-in-the-graveyard-at-midnight type, and even when I was a teenager I probably wouldn't've done it, when push came to shove!


I relate to much of this. Typing wise, I have a 4 wing on the 3 in my tritype. My response may or may not have anything to do with it lol. I had a deep fascination with death and grieving, especially how these were dealt with across cultures but also the felt experience. I was surrounded by incidents of violent death and sudden deaths from illness /political strife etc., so the deaths of the young, children etc. was obviously a trigger particularly with my PTSD. But, death as a concept has always fascinated me. I can't imagine romanticizing suicide, but there is a foreboding beauty to death, except when it's a child or a young person. You know, the obvious. 

I absolutely loved strolling through or just sitting by in graveyards, Muslim and Christian. I loved reading tomb stones, observing the general architecture, connecting, even briefly, with the humanity of the deceased. I also loved the general atmosphere of peace and resignation that seemed to hang over these places. I found them perfect also for poetic inspiration. Some of my favourites were conjured at graveyards and dealt with loss, death, suffering, longing for what has been lost and will never be and more. I still remember this grave in a London graveyard where a father and son were buried, aged 28 and 3 respectively. Apparently, they had died in an accident 40 years ago. I was informed that the wife/mother still visited and sat by their grave. I met her once. Of course, I didn't disturb her moments of privacy with her loved ones. I had my back to her for this reason. When I turned around, she looked up and smiled at me. She, then, started talking about them. So, I sat there and listened to her story for about half an hour. I sat there for about an hour afterwords, reminiscing over the death of my father and young cousins etc. That yielded a very powerful poem that I - only - show people with whom I am in love. It's extremely private, and it's a piece of me that's not up for exhibition.

I also agree that they are much like parks. I don't even find them all that depressing, or at times, even depressing at all lol. I can go on about death considering how much experience I have with it, how much I've indulged in the emotions, thoughts and complexes surrounding it. But, I shall stop here. Fun post. <3 Lolz @ midnight seances in graveyards. Lmao I would not be opposed to attending one, although I can't be expected to keep a straight face. XD


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

Almost makes me question my 4-fix. I mostly find the idea of death boring. :tongue: (I mean, it makes me sad, but I do believe once we're dead there's nothing more, which is like the opposite of fascinating for me.)


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## ElliCat (May 4, 2014)

ghostgirl said:


> Type 4 current teenager here...
> I feel like I have the tendency to be like that oh god *hides*. Well actually I'm not /that/ cringey (compared to the !!wow I'm so alternative XD!! scene kids online). More like- wow fall out boy lyrics really [get] me, ahh I need that brand new shirt and someone else will like them and we can fall in love n crap.
> 
> But- dude. Graveyards are so nice to walk through, I'm not religious or anything, but it's something about feeling connected to the life cycle and death not being scary an- oh dear I actually do sound pretty emo
> ...


Hey, don't even worry about it! Being a teenager is all about the angst - I'll mock myself a bit now that I'm on the other side but believe me, those feelings I experienced were very real and I kind of have a problem with adults who dismiss teenagers as being super dramatic and lacking depth. If it makes you feel better, AFI and Evanesence totally "got" me when I was around your age and I HAD to have a crappy Nightwish shirt I found in some shop somewhere even though I only wore it like 10 times before I got over the whole advertising-your-favourite-band thing. Although I still love Nightwish with the fire of a thousand suns whenever they release a new album, so, you know, whatever, lol.

I was thinking about 4 with a 3 wing in the sense of "trying on" identities I felt might describe me/help me find myself, but I'm not sure whether I have faulty understanding of what a 3 wing is compared to my 5. Which means I need to go do some reading. 

And probably the other wings in my tritype (7w6, 9w1) might have been a bit stronger, and same with my sx in second place. Everything's just amped up.

@Cosmic Orgasm That was beautiful. Thank you. And I'm like 99% sure a midnight seance would be hilariously full of nothing happening but there's that tiny part of me that keeps wondering, "but what if it DID....?!"


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