# "Feelers are not more sensitive than Thinkers": Discuss



## stormingheroine (Feb 1, 2012)

Hello.

Yesterday I was talking to my sister, an INTJ with strong Feeling. During the conversation she said this:

'I have just as much/as strong emotion as you, and Thinkers have just as much/as strong emotion as Feelers. The only difference between us is that we can sort it out on our own, but you need help.'

I found it quite hard to hear her say that.

But then I thought, maybe she's right. After all I do know very emotional/volatile thinkers, and very 'stable' feelers. 

However, it has always seemed to me as though I and the other Feeler in my family are powerfully emotional, extremely sensitive and unstable in comparison to the Thinkers. I assumed the reason for this must be that they did not feel emotions in such intensity. I am saying neither that they are unemotional (I know they have very deep emotion) nor that all Thinkers are less emotional than all Feelers.

She doesn't want to talk any more about it, so I wondered if anyone here felt like answering some questions...

First of all, do you agree that there is no correlation between T/F and strong emotionality?

If you believe you are a highly emotional Thinker, do you often feel so overwhelmed by emotion that you simply must write it down, take action, or express it in some way? Do you regularly swoop from despair to ecstasy in one day, or do you tend to feel 'stable' throughout the day?

Does emotion regularly interfere with your ability to perform or behave normally? If not, why not?

I hope I did not offend anyone, if so I'm sorry, I am very ignorant about all this.

Thank you for any feedback.


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## ai.tran.75 (Feb 26, 2014)

I agree - I find myself to be a lot less emotional than many of my thinker friends, I believe feelers are more likely to be sensitive compare to thinker bc we have Fi or FE as our judging functions however it depends on how one uses it . My xstp partner(who's quite unemotional compares to most ) is more sensitive than I am and often complains that I'm too carefree or wonders why I don't care enough - I have an estj friend who's more sensitive than my INFP BFF . However stereotypically speaking I still see that thinkers are more likely to be less sensitive than feelers - but of course there's also more than quite a few individual who stands out differently .


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## XZ9 (Nov 16, 2013)

Feels are more sensitive to conflict.


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## knife (Jul 10, 2013)

The way I find myself seeing it is that Feelers aren't just more in touch with their feels -- they've learned to work with them, make them their own. But Thinkers are apart from feels. So Thinkers are highly sensitive to feels triggers, and have much "purer," more naïve feels when they do. This makes Feelers much more naturally stable in the grip of emotion, but such a thing shuts a Thinker down.

Think of it like this. A feel is like an inch of snow in Buffalo, to a feeler. As nothing. But that same inch shuts the city of Atlanta down. This is how Thinkers relate to feels.


Kitty Sith Lord


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## ai.tran.75 (Feb 26, 2014)

Great_Thinker said:


> Feels are more sensitive to conflict.


I would say most feelers but not all - after all these are just which cognitive functions we use and how we apply it .


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## Agelastos (Jun 1, 2014)

I don't think NTs are "apart from their feels", I think we just don't act on our "feels" (or at least I don't) without carefully dissecting them first. 
To intellectually detach from your emotions and attain equanimity (apatheia/ataraxia/upekkha/whatever), you first have to be aware of them so that you can take a step back and analyze them rationally. Of course, you don't want to overanalyze your feelings (which a lot of NTPs, myself included, tend to do) either, or you'll never get anything done.


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## knife (Jul 10, 2013)

@Agelastos I don't disagree with that. I didn't mean it to come out as "we don't have them", I was wanting to draw attention to the divide. Feels just don't normally motivate us, even when we're emotionally attuned.


Kitty Sith Lord


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

@_excalibird_

Being a feeler or thinker doesn't have anything to do with whether one has or the other has more emotions or less. All it indicates is whether you prefer to evaluate/judge things through how you feel about them. Thinkers prefer to evaluate/judge things through how they think about them. That's all.


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## aendern (Dec 28, 2013)

excalibird said:


> First of all, do you agree that there is no correlation between T/F and strong emotionality?


Nah, there probably is one. Though I think Fe users will be the most sensitive. Extraverted Feelers will place more importance on how others' view them compared to Introverted Feelers (who mostly only care how they view themselves).

Your sister said something pretty nasty to you. It's easy to see why it would hurt your feelings.

As an Fi user, I would just think "you're stupid . . . " (in response to your sister's comment) and it wouldn't even affect me emotionally . . . 

But then my Ni would start working because now I'm curious why she she felt the need to say something like that. She must be really annoyed about something. I wonder what it is. Does she want to upset you? Is she mad at you? It sounds like she had this built up annoyance at how you might possibly overreact to things, and now she finally told you about it. No doubt in a harsh way (because she was feeling *emotional*).



> If you believe you are a highly emotional Thinker, do you *often *feel so overwhelmed by emotion that you simply must write it down, take action, or express it in some way?


No.



> Do you regularly swoop from despair to ecstasy in one day, or do you tend to feel 'stable' throughout the day?


Stable. Unless increased happiness counts as unstable. I never go the other direction. But I always feel an increase in happiness when I drink coffee or alcohol.



> Does emotion regularly interfere with your ability to perform or behave normally? If not, why not?


No.

Why not? Um.. because I rarely feel emotions that strongly? Or if I do, I fail to see how they would prevent me from functioning normally?


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## Zeke (Sep 20, 2014)

Agelastos said:


> I don't think NTs are "apart from their feels", I think we just don't act on our "feels" (or at least I don't) without carefully dissecting them first.
> To intellectually detach from your emotions and attain equanimity (apatheia/ataraxia/upekkha/whatever), you first have to be aware of them so that you can take a step back and analyze them rationally. Of course, you don't want to overanalyze your feelings (which a lot of NTPs, myself included, tend to do) either, or you'll never get anything done.


I couldn't say this any better! Every sentence is right on the money. I do feel strong emotions. I just don't act on them. I just think there are time when emotions have to be kept in the side and do the things you're ought to do. But of course, keeping it to oneself is going to be a big trouble if you keep doing it every time.


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## Zeke (Sep 20, 2014)

emberfly said:


> Why not? Um.. because I rarely feel emotions that strongly? Or if I do, I fail to see how they would prevent me from functioning normally?


In my case, it could have affected me in some way but think it would be too complicated if that did happen. Hmm.. functioning normally. Let's say I love somebody, a colleague perhaps. You'll be dreading in the dilemma of asking her out or following the rules about being together with the people you work with. I don't even know why I did this. hahaha


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

tanstaafl28 said:


> @_excalibird_
> 
> Being a feeler or thinker doesn't have anything to do with whether one has or the other has more emotions or less. All it indicates is whether you prefer to evaluate/judge things through how you feel about them. Thinkers prefer to evaluate/judge things through how they think about them. That's all.


This is what I was going to say. I feel extremely strongly. But I won't make decisions based on how I feel about things. I need to know that it's a logical decision and not just what feels right. Ultimately, my thoughts on a topic are more important than I feel about it. Just because I think X about a topic many have nothing to do with how I feel about it. I've been accused of being cold and detached, but really I'm just practical. I'm not going to give money to a charity that has a bad track record when I look at their financial analysis regardless of how "touching" their pleas are. I give to the charities that have a good track record and will make better use of my money. 

I was extremely sensitive and emotional as a young child. I put a lot of work into learning how to control myself and not to trust my emotions to make my decisions for me.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

hammersklavier said:


> @_Agelastos_ I don't disagree with that. I didn't mean it to come out as "we don't have them", I was wanting to draw attention to the divide. Feels just don't normally motivate us, even when we're emotionally attuned.
> 
> 
> Kitty Sith Lord


I think there is probably a motivational factor. Meaning, how much we weigh our own emotions as being significant is different.



> First of all, do you agree that there is no correlation between T/F and strong emotionality?


Probably not so much the magnitude as, like I said, our emphasis on it.



> If you believe you are a highly emotional Thinker, do you often feel so overwhelmed by emotion that you simply must write it down, take action, or express it in some way? Do you regularly swoop from despair to ecstasy in one day, or do you tend to feel 'stable' throughout the day?
> 
> Does emotion regularly interfere with your ability to perform or behave normally? If not, why not?


^Most of the time I feel stable. If any of that ever happens I feel unstable or crazy, like I can't think or act clearly until it "passes", etc. I don't know that it happens regularly because if it did it probably wouldn't come as such a shock to me when it does. My main issue with emotions is that I don't like extremes. 

An NT also probably wouldn't say "sorry if I offended anyone, I didn't mean to" :tongue: because that's kind of irrelevant to the topic most of the time. And personally if I am offended by something my first reaction is to figure out why I took offense and work through it, so that my offense doesn't "get in the way" of my perception of reality, my thought processes, or my actions in the future. I also assume it's my issue and not someone else's.


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

Fe is the ability to feel an emotional climate better than non-Fe users.

As such, it makes you more "sensitive" toward the emotions in a room, just how a Se user would be more "sensitive" to the senses of the environment. 

Fe doesn't have to do with being an emotional person. However, for an INFJ, the combination of Ni-Fe causes us to internalize the emotions we've felt from others and incorporate them into ourselves--couple with our low Fi, it makes it harder for us to fully grasp our emotions, which is why your friend might say INFJs need help with their emotions...

Have to understand functions and the combination of functions.


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## Derange At 170 (Nov 26, 2013)

I experience the same intensity of emotions, I experience the same "overal sensitivity", but I express and work through my emotions more systematically, by myself and they affect my _outward behavior_ and _actions_ less. Nor do I let emotions influence my view on things, that's what logic is for. Emotions are a factor. And there are many factors within my decision making cycle.


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## Epicyclic (Aug 7, 2014)

Adding to the post that being a feeler or thinker merely indicates your preference for logic or emotions, let me add:

All humans have emotions, and they are sensitive to various stuff. Somehow, or another, these emotions must be expressed somehow. 

The analogy I'd like to use is a bin - it has to be cleared somehow. Some bins are bigger, they don't need to be cleared so often but when they do, the amount stuff to haul out is more. You might not see people clearing their dustbins so often, but maybe their dustbins are just bigger. 

As feelers tend to act out their emotions more, it's like the smaller bin + more frequent clearing analogy. Thinkers, because they act on their emotions less, tend to store it up a lot more. This is like the bigger bin + less frequent clearing analogy.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Thinkers try to detach themselves from a situation and make an objective and impersonal decision. Feelers make a decision by considering moral values and making the decision that probably helps everyone on a personal level. 
If I want to get rid of a few agents in the forest trying to hunt bears to protect the environment I could just kill them because it is quite efficient. Or I could strike a diplomatic deal and have them leave. No one is gonna be on either extreme and both are extreme.


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## adultchildofalieninvaders (Aug 29, 2014)

ninjahitsawall said:


> An NT also probably wouldn't say "sorry if I offended anyone, I didn't mean to" :tongue: because that's kind of irrelevant to the topic most of the time. And personally if I am offended by something my first reaction is to figure out why I took offense and work through it, so that my offense doesn't "get in the way" of my perception of reality, my thought processes, or my actions in the future. I also assume it's my issue and not someone else's.


This is spot on, thinking types are simply less likely to assume responsibility for someone else's emotional response.

I'm just as emotional as my NF partner, I don't see any difference there. We display our emotions somewhat differently, but I'm frankly not convinced that our decision making differs that much when you take it down to its component parts... but that might have more to do with how ENTPs and INFJs work than with T/F types on the whole.


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## Texas (Mar 24, 2013)

excalibird said:


> 'I have just as much/as strong emotion as you, and Thinkers have just as much/as strong emotion as Feelers. The only difference between us is that we can sort it out on our own, but you need help.'
> 
> If you believe you are a highly emotional Thinker, do you often feel so overwhelmed by emotion that you simply must write it down, take action, or express it in some way? Do you regularly swoop from despair to ecstasy in one day, or do you tend to feel 'stable' throughout the day?
> 
> Does emotion regularly interfere with your ability to perform or behave normally? If not, why not?


I actually agree with your sister, but I'm a little curious whether or not this has anything to do with gender. I dislike relying on gender stereotypes, but in this situation, since girls are usually conditioned from an early age to be more in touch with their feelings (as well as the feelings of those around them), it might be easier for females to distinguish between having them and processing them ourselves vs. ignoring them.

Either way, yes, I believe thinkers have just as many feelings as feelers do, and I agree that they are probably a bit more stable because we handle them differently, basically by logically processing them ourselves, rather than the tendency of Fe which is to have others help with the processing (and since those others are often other Fe types, it is usually processed from a feeler standpoint).

I sometimes have strong emotions and yes, I need to deal with them in some way. My usual way is through physicality (Se), usually walking, running, riding my bike, even cleaning at times, anything that allows me to move around will work. I can then more easily deal with the emotion rationally, figure out what went wrong and how to correct the situation, or plan ways to keep the situation from happening again. So, basically, problem-solving for negative emotions, laughing or sharing something humorous (emotions don't have to be negative), and yes writing if I just need to sort out the situation if it's very complicated. I've even been known to cry at times. 

No, emotions don't usually interfere with my ability to do things normally, but there have been a few times when I've been very angry that if I didn't leave I thought might start throwing things, or worse, say something very honest which could never be taken back.


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## Alayna West (Jan 14, 2014)

In certain circumstances, my emotions can be very powerful but usually I am able to detach from my emotions and logically analyze what I am feeling and why before I make any rash decisions based on them.


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## Alayna West (Jan 14, 2014)

In other words, we do feel passionate emotions, we would just rather deal with them ourselves.


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## Laeona (Feb 20, 2012)

excalibird said:


> 'I have just as much/as strong emotion as you, and Thinkers have just as much/as strong emotion as Feelers. The only difference between us is that we can sort it out on our own, but you need help.'


An INTJ has Fi. They internalize their feelings and work on it until they figure out what they are feeling and why, and if it's appropriate. They "sort it out on their own".

An INFJ has Fe. They process their feelings externally. Which means, you guessed it, they are going to need to talk about it to help sort it out.

Think about the converse: Ti processes information internally and Te needs to process it externally with other people. So the INTJ with Te will process information by talking about it with other people, where INFJ with Ti will process information internally, and doesn't need someone else to help them sort it.

It all balances out in the end


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## adultchildofalieninvaders (Aug 29, 2014)

Alayna West said:


> In certain circumstances, my emotions can be very powerful but usually I am able to detach from my emotions and logically analyze what I am feeling and why before I make any rash decisions based on them.


Exactly! I'll always acknowledge my feelings, but whether I'll act on them or not is another thing again. I think fast on my feet though, so what looks like impulsivity to some is just my having gone through the cycle of "what am I feeling - why am I feeling - what (if anything) should I do about it?" Feelings are simply how we react to stimuli or the absence thereof.


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## stormingheroine (Feb 1, 2012)

Hello, thank you very much for all the responses.

A general reply:

I believe my sister was making this statement with regard to my mother, who is a dominant Fi user. It was not necessarily about me. In contrast to what some suggested, I, with strong Fe, am probably better at not 'showing' my emotions than my mother.

Many people have been saying 'we do feel strong emotions' or 'Thinkers do feel just as strongly as Feelers'. 

Firstly, I share your belief that Thinkers have strong emotions.

Secondly - now, this is just a philosophical question - but how can you truly know that all Thinkers feel just as strongly as all Feelers? Look at the often-raised question of whether we all see the same colours. 

A few people have been saying 'the difference between Thinkers and Feelers is that Thinkers logically analyze their emotions' or something along those lines. The implication is that Feelers don't do this. I can't speak for all Feelers, but I certainly analyze my emotions, and I know my Feeler friends and family do. I am constantly logically working out why I am feeling the way I am and what exactly I'm feeling, writing about it, using other coping tactics that some people mentioned like exercising, distracting yourself.

For me, it is not a choice to be emotionally stable or unstable. Of course I would choose to be stable if I could. But your tactic of 'separating' from your emotions simply does not work for me or other Feelers I know. It becomes more of a repression, and only causes them to grow, rather like a pressure cooker.

In reply to a few specific commenters…
@_hammersklavier_ Thank you, that's an interesting idea and has made me look at the topic in a different way. 
@_Agelastos_ It's interesting that you suggest your desired state is apatheia. Feelers overanalyze their emotions too 
@_emberfly_ That's very understanding of you.  I believe she was annoyed, yes, but at my mother rather than me. You see my mother believes Thinkers have almost no emotion. I strongly disagree with her on this. Thank you for replying to my questions as well. 
@_Texas_ An interesting point about gender.


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## stormingheroine (Feb 1, 2012)

Now I just want to make some observations of differences between me and my three Thinking family members. Obviously we don't represent the whole population.

- I get upset or overjoyed much more easily by others' actions (probably Fe).
- I get down more easily (but I don't think this is Feeling-related).
- I have 'turbulent' emotions. For example, I am constantly changing how I feel about people (quite violently - I HATE them, I think they're completely wonderful). I don't believe my sister has these 'waves'.

Some specific examples: 
- The Hunger Games book & film greatly disturbed and upset me. My INTJ sister could not understand why, saying 'but it's not real'. Perhaps some advice would be to detach from my emotions, but that's not possible in this case. They were too powerful. I had to leave the room.
- My father and brother have no interest in reading 'fiction' because, they have explained, they are not particularly interested in empathising with characters. They prefer to learn things. Whereas for me having characters to read about is an emotional need. I also feel a need for deep social connection.
- The Thinkers in my family don't seem to get emotionally involved in books and movies in the same way. For me, if I find them moving (most good films move me) I may have to be alone for the next three hours or so to process my thoughts and emotions about them. They will tend colour my world, dreams, thoughts, feelings for the next few days.

So perhaps this shows a pattern of less emotional_ sensitivity to stimuli_? A kind of contained emotion?

If so, I'm afraid I still don't understand at all. To me, having 'strong emotion' is synonymous with being sensitive to everything.

Any further thoughts are welcomed.


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## adultchildofalieninvaders (Aug 29, 2014)

excalibird said:


> So perhaps this shows a pattern of less emotional_ sensitivity to stimuli_? A kind of contained emotion?


Speaking as a T type who has hugely intense emotional reactions to everything -- I think I'm somewhat sensitive to stimuli and my reactions are intense -- who's married to a more even keeled F type... I wouldn't generalise and claim this is a T/F thing. Sensitivity and intensity are separate traits though, you can google "nine childhood temperament traits", that's some fairly fascinating reading on temperament traits measured in babies and how these tend to carry over to adulthood.

I think Thinking/Feeling is more likely to apply to decision making, not how you emote. I'm more concerned with making the 'right' decision than I am with making sure everybody is happy. My husband is the opposite. I think I deal better with the possibility that something I say or do can cause hurt in another person (not that I do this much intentionally, because that'd be a dick move) whereas my husband is much less comfortable with what I call collateral emotional damage. Although he's also better at being intentionally hurtful... man, I don't know. People are weird.


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

excalibird said:


> Now I just want to make some observations of differences between me and my three Thinking family members. Obviously we don't represent the whole population.
> 
> - I get upset or overjoyed much more easily by others' actions (probably Fe).
> - I get down more easily (but I don't think this is Feeling-related).
> ...


The question of think vs feeler isn't depth of emotion. It's: do you prefer to make decisions based on your thoughts or feelings? 

My emotions are strong. I take time to process a movie or book too. But I don't make decisions based on my feelings. My husband freely chooses to make decisions based on what feels right. I'm just not comfortable doing that.


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## stormingheroine (Feb 1, 2012)

@adultchildofalieninvaders It fascinates me that you are highly sensitive/intensely emotional, yet you say you are able to quickly analyse and act independently from your emotions. What do you think of this hypothesis: Thinkers are _better able to detach _from their emotions, whether strong or weak?

And would you mind providing an example of a time you had a strong emotional reaction to something, and how you dealt with that emotion at the time? Thank you!


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## starscream430 (Jan 14, 2014)

Maybe Feelers are most likely to act and showcase their feelings compared to Thinkers. In regards to the INTJ, we tend to suppress our emotions because we're not proficient in controlling it. In short, Thinkers have strong emotions, but we try not to act upon them since they are...well..."illogical :tongue:."

Citation :happy:: INTJ personality and emotions | 16Personalities


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## adultchildofalieninvaders (Aug 29, 2014)

excalibird said:


> @adultchildofalieninvaders It fascinates me that you are highly sensitive/intensely emotional, yet you say you are able to quickly analyse and act independently from your emotions. What do you think of this hypothesis: Thinkers are _better able to detach _from their emotions, whether strong or weak?
> 
> And would you mind providing an example of a time you had a strong emotional reaction to something, and how you dealt with that emotion at the time? Thank you!


I don't act independently of my emotions, they're simply filed in as one factor that goes into my deciding what to do. I tend to go through a quick list of "What? Why? How? What now?" when deciding what to do. Say, if I'm angry with my INFJ spouse for something he did or neglected to do -- this does happen, we're very different people and sometimes the things he does seem utterly harebrained to me -- I'm fairly likely to express that, although sometimes I'll figure it's not the right time and file my emotional reaction away for later discussion. Or decide it's simply not worth the hassle, acknowledge how I feel and move on. My guiding principle is "do I want to change the status quo or am I content with the situation?" which I'll then apply to, well, everything. 

I don't detach from my emotions anymore, although I used to do that as a teenager and young adult so very likely you're onto something there. I think this could be an immature T problem. Because, well, that's not a healthy way to deal with feelings. Nowadays I acknowledge what I feel (to myself, at least, it doesn't always have to be expressed although being an extroverted type I'm likely to discuss the process if somebody I trust is around) and then move on. If I'm angry, or frustrated, or disappointed, well, these things happen. WHY am I angry, frustrated or disappointed is more important, likewise the HOW should I deal with this and WHERE to go from there and WHAT to do next. 

Very amusingly, back when we were still learning how to deal with each other, my INFJ spouse used to take any acknowledgement of "I'm feeling ____" as my blaming him for something or as a call to action ("She feels ____! Something must be done! Let's act on our feelings!") which isn't the case at all.

One of my best friends from times past is an INTJ (with some Asperger's traits, so her emoting works somewhat differently than in our neurotypical world) and she has tended to claim that I'm a "feeling person who relies strongly on logic." But 99% of the world is "too emotional and unreliable" according to her, so I take that with a grain of salt-- I tend to think I'm a logical person who relies strongly on feelings. It's about having a balance. And, logically speaking, being open to emotion but not overtly dependent on it is the smartest choice you can make with regards to how to deal with yourself and the world, so I've made a conscious decision to try and cultivate this behaviour in myself, becoming more open and accepting of my own emotional frailty, sensitivity and intensity while not getting led astray by it. 

Does this answer your question somewhat?


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## pernoctator (May 1, 2012)

excalibird said:


> 'Thinkers have just as much/as strong emotion as Feelers.'


Yes, but they try to detach from them more.



excalibird said:


> 'The only difference between us is that we can sort it out on our own, but you need help.'


That sounds more like Je/Ji than T/F.


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## Random Person (Apr 30, 2013)

This matter is complicated and goes beyond MBTI. Emotions, like logic, are not something you simply have. Emotional maturity must be developed through conscious effort just as a habit of truly logical thinking. It takes learning. A lot of it. And that is becoming increasingly more difficult. The natural expressions of logic - science and philosophy - are not that far removed from people. Although, I must admit that the latest trend in professional philosophy can be summarised as: "Let's just proclaim this complicated crap an illusion and grab some brunch already! We've been thinking for 1 hour straight!" Even so, old books and people with an actual interest in philosophy can be found with relative ease. Thus, logical thought can be more or less successfully practiced.

With emotional maturity, things are different. The medium for emotions is art in various forms. The old-school art used to be rich in it's ethical and aesthetical contents. The modern art, however... It'll make whatever sells best. And, unlike science and philosophy, which have to be sought after, it's a part of our everyday life. Sadly, the best-selling stuff is devoid of any deep content and is only fit for momentary, superficial entertainment. It's become a product of mass consumption rather than an attempt to express anything. As we are surrounded by this, our ability to grow emotionally is severely restricted. There's a lot less incentive to seek out quality art than there is to seek out quality philosophy/science. Ergo, we don't.

That was the environmental part. Brought into the context of MBTI in general and your question in particular, this leads to roughly the following conclusions: Feelers, due to their natural affinity, can develop far deeper emotional experiences. But that is in potentia. Actuality does not always correspond.Whether any given Feeler will succeed at harnessing their potential or not depends on how much they work to do so. It may well be, due to a multitude of factors, that certain thinkers will outrank the majority of feelers. It's like a contest between 2 boxers, one of which is well-trained with mediocre genes and the other has great genes and more beer belly than muscles. The former will surely win.

One thing I want to stress out is that to be emotionally well-developed does not at all mean being constantly moody, impulsive and irrational. Rather, it's the depth and variety of emotional experiences available to the individual. This depth is something feelers are pre-disposed to have more of. I take pride in having put great effort and made great progress in deepening my emotional side. But the gap between me and my well-developed feeler friends is beyond obvious. As is the gap between me and feelers who are immature.


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