# (ladies) How do feel about being called a "girl"?



## Snowflake Minuet (Feb 20, 2016)

I remember how my riding instructor was once telling me about how when she was in college, she would always get so annoyed when people referred to her and her friends as "girls." "We were _women_!" she said, feeling very strongly that it was sort of--belittling I suppose?--to be called a girl.

I'm much closer to that age now, and I don't mind being called referred to as a girl at all. I'm an INFJ, and my riding instructor is supposedly an introvert and I believe an Fi-user.

I'm organizing the poll based on dominant cognitive function, as there weren't options of course for doubling the sixteen types. 

My question to PerC ladies is simply whether you mind being referred to as a girl? Expand in any way you like!

Thank you!


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## Librarylady (Mar 11, 2017)

Don't really care. Some people overthink it.


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## Jaune (Jul 11, 2013)

I don't care at all and it sort of baffles me how something minuscule like that could offend someone.


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## Kittens Are Awesome (Jun 11, 2017)

I am a girl. And a woman. I don't get offended by things like this, because it is very subconscious, and most of the time it is not personal, and getting offended at things like this, could offend the other person more, because they cannot type/write/speak properly, and because the person may have said/wrote/typed something good and you diminish their efforts and criticise them for a really minor and almost unnoticeable, mistake? 

I guess ignorance really is bliss, but this is a time where it is bliss for everyone.


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## Flamme et Citron (Aug 26, 2015)




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## Queen of Cups (Feb 26, 2010)

I really don't care as long as its not being used pejoratively.


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## Snowflake Minuet (Feb 20, 2016)

Jaune Valjaune said:


> I don't care at all and it sort of baffles me how something minuscule like that could offend someone.


I know, right? I'm glad to see I'm not alone in thinking so, lol!


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

Librarylady said:


> Don't really care. Some people overthink it.


Definitely. I've heard arguments that it's politically incorrect, is meant to keep grown women in the role of children, etc.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...-blogs/201006/politically-correct-rock-n-roll



> When I heard a male professor once say, "When the baby is a woman....," since he was so fearful of inadvertently using the word "girl" inappropriately, I realized that the time had come to hang up the chalk.





> Then there's the whole "girl" issue. The Beatles, who broke up in 1970, when the PC movement had barely started, used this word in many of their songs, and these will have to be completely revamped. I'll just give a few examples here of what the new lines would look like: "For I have got another woman," "You're going to lose that woman," and "All I have to do is thank you, woman, thank you, woman."


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## Miss Bingley (Jun 28, 2013)

Some people use 'girl' as an insult. Is it supposed to insult me? Yes, I'm a _girl, _​and I'm proud to be a girl.


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## charlie.elliot (Jan 22, 2014)

I like being called girl and I'd rather be called girl than woman or lady. I don't think it makes me sound young; I think it sounds sporty, cool, and strong. I know that some people don't like being called girl because they think it sounds infantalizing and they point out that men aren't called boy... But for some reason it's never bothered me. The word "girl" just doesn't sound that way to me. I like it.


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## Silent Theory (Nov 1, 2014)

It really depends on the context. Most of the time though, whatever. There are much worse things to be called.


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## Eternally Changing (Nov 15, 2013)

Tricky question. Now that I'm 30, I've noticed that being called a 'girl' does seem to trigger something in my mind, a subtle question of "am I really a 'girl', per se? or should they be calling me a 'woman'?" It's not that it actually bothers me, but it does trigger a slight doubt in my mind. At the end of the day, I really don't care


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## Winter Queen (May 16, 2017)

Miss Bingley said:


> Some people use 'girl' as an insult. Is it supposed to insult me? Yes, I'm a _girl, _​and I'm proud to be a girl.


Absolutely, much like "girl power" I would say to own it and don't allow it to be used against you.


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## Introvertia (Feb 6, 2016)

When I worked in the office (as younger female), elder male workers would initially call me "girl". As a new, temporary summer worker I thought I'd not stay there long enough to care. I was wrong. I stopped reacting to that word and they had to learn my name. I don't care to be called a woman, either. I have a name for a reason and if one wants to catch my attention, they are to use it.


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## Cherry (May 28, 2017)

Depends who says it and how and what context.

In general I don't really care at all and probably wouldn't take note of it, unless it was done in an intentionally condescending/belittling way


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## Glenda Gnome Starr (May 12, 2011)

It doesn't matter to me. If people want to call me a "girl," that's OK. I might not answer them, however, since "girl" isn't my name. Neither is "ma'am." I definitely respond faster to people who say my name.:jupiter:


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## Turelie (Jul 22, 2010)

It doesn't matter one bit.


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## Notus Asphodelus (Jan 20, 2015)

Not a big issue. "Bitch" on the other hand, though.. :laughing:

However, in a workplace, I would initiate an introduction immediately whenever I meet people I might work with regardless of whether they are temporary workers or not. Every colleague needs to refer one another by name.


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## ponpiri (Apr 30, 2017)

I have a habit of saying girls. If the woman is much older, I will call her a lady. As for how I feel about being called girl, it depends on who is saying it and in what context.


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## cooldudez (Jun 13, 2017)

I'm a guy but i'll vote  anyways, people still call me a little boy even though i'm not little anymore... It's really annoying and my mom still treats me like a child :dry:


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## dulcinea (Aug 22, 2011)

I think it's cute.


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## brightflashes (Oct 27, 2015)

INTJ don't mind at all. I'm in my mid thirties and it makes me feel young lol. When I was younger, though, it didn't bother me either.


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## FlaviaGemina (May 3, 2012)

INTJ
I actually prefer being called "girl" to being called a woman, although I'm not girly at all. I can be very childlike and playful though, so what I like about being called a "girl" is that it sounds younger. A "woman" sounds like some serious, frumpy old matron. (I am serious in an INTJ kind of way, but not in a prissy, bitter, grown-up way). 
Also the word "woman" is loaded with so many bizarre associations along the lines of "Woe is me for I am a woman!" and I don't identify with that at all.


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## Ttalkkugjil (Feb 1, 2017)

While I'm okay about being called a "girl," I do greatly prefer being called a "woman."


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## Kittens Are Awesome (Jun 11, 2017)

FlaviaGemina said:


> INTJ
> Also the word "woman" is loaded with so many bizarre associations along the lines of "Woe is me for I am a woman!" and I don't identify with that at all.


The woe is me thing is like Romeo


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## FlaviaGemina (May 3, 2012)

Kittens Are Awesome said:


> The woe is me thing is like Romeo


?
"Woe is me for I am Romeo"?
"Oh Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo"?


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## Kittens Are Awesome (Jun 11, 2017)

FlaviaGemina said:


> ?
> "Woe is me for I am Romeo"?
> "Oh Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo"?


Lol thanks for helping me revise. I wish you could bookmark answers or something like that.


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## FlaviaGemina (May 3, 2012)

Kittens Are Awesome said:


> Lol thanks for helping me revise. I wish you could bookmark answers or something like that.



What is it you need to revise? Or do you just mean in general?


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## Kittens Are Awesome (Jun 11, 2017)

FlaviaGemina said:


> What is it you need to revise? Or do you just mean in general?


Oh it was for the book Romeo and Juliet. The test is in a year, so I'll need to come back to it regularly, and I like it when I get surprised with videos/posts in my feed about information for my subjects. I don't like following channels or blogs which are about studying because that does not help me revise ironically.


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## FlaviaGemina (May 3, 2012)

Kittens Are Awesome said:


> Oh it was for the book Romeo and Juliet. The test is in a year, so I'll need to come back to it regularly, and I like it when I get surprised with videos/posts in my feed about information for my subjects. I don't like following channels or blogs which are about studying because that does not help me revise ironically.


I see. 
They give you a whole year to study Romeo and Juliet? That's quite generous.
I guess channels about studying can be quite "meta", e.g. "learning how to learn". That can be quite useful sometimes, if it actually suggests concrete techniques. If it's just all about the joys of learning, it can be a waste of time because you could spend that time revising instead of emoting about how you love learning.

OK, so what does Juliet mean when she says "Wherefore art thou Romeo?" - Answer without googling anything.


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## Kittens Are Awesome (Jun 11, 2017)

FlaviaGemina said:


> I see.
> They give you a whole year to study Romeo and Juliet? That's quite generous.
> I guess channels about studying can be quite "meta", e.g. "learning how to learn". That can be quite useful sometimes, if it actually suggests concrete techniques. If it's just all about the joys of learning, it can be a waste of time because you could spend that time revising instead of emoting about how you love learning.
> 
> OK, so what does Juliet mean when she says "Wherefore art thou Romeo?" - Answer without googling anything.


Thou means you. Art mean are. I think she says this is Act 2 scene 2, so I would say she means are you Romeo? Which was when she was trying to change her identity or Romeo's so she could marry him without any conflict.

Now lets check if I am right. At first I thought I got it wrong, but then I realised I got it right! Yay!


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## martinkunev (Mar 23, 2017)

I often prefer to use _girl_ for female humans (when it wouldn't sound weird, of course). I have seen female humans who get offended for being called woman, because of association with being called old.


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## Wisteria (Apr 2, 2015)

"Girl" isn't usually insulting is it? It depends on what they were intending when they call me it, always seems harmless, just another way of addressing someone who happens to be a girl. I hate it when men use "woman" in a sentence as an insult, you know those generalising statements, like "that's typical of men/women".


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## Nephandus (May 16, 2017)

FlaviaGemina said:


> OK, so what does Juliet mean when she says "Wherefore art thou Romeo?" - Answer without googling anything.


Wow, that's one of the OkCupid questions that I didn't care at all about beyond minor amusement but started to piss me off. EVERYONE assumed to know what wherefore meant but clearly never even bothered to google. All the theater chicks REALLY started pissing me off since they assumed to know better than most but clearly didn't even understand the scene. Finding him wasn't remotely a problem, even ignoring that he was skulking under her window, which they weren't likely to remember either.:angry:


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## Celtic Maiden (Jul 19, 2017)

You could say it in a demeaning way, just as you could woman, man or boy, but typically no. If I start taking myself that seriously then I've got the problem.


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## FlaviaGemina (May 3, 2012)

Nephandus said:


> Wow, that's one of the OkCupid questions that I didn't care at all about beyond minor amusement but started to piss me off. EVERYONE assumed to know what wherefore meant but clearly never even bothered to google. All the theater chicks REALLY started pissing me off since they assumed to know better than most but clearly didn't even understand the scene. Finding him wasn't remotely a problem, even ignoring that he was skulking under her window, which they weren't likely to remember either.:angry:


Doesn't it mean "why"? At least that's what I thought it means.

Sent from my EVA-L09 using Tapatalk


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## Nephandus (May 16, 2017)

FlaviaGemina said:


> Doesn't it mean "why"? At least that's what I thought it means.
> 
> Sent from my EVA-L09 using Tapatalk


Yeah, basically the sentence in context means "Why did you have to be THAT Romeo?". Completely rhetorical since she didn't know he was there yet.

I don't do theater, which is SO much of a bizarre thing to ever have to say where I'm from, and I don't recall ever seeing a real play (unless you count Patch the Pirate :crazy, but I did happen to read Shakespeare as a kid to see what the fuss was about. Got in trouble for Romeo and Juliet at the public library specifically around 3rd or 4th grade, IIRC. Southern Baptist aren't big on the classics... It's the mentality behind the OkCupid answers that started pissing me off. The logic questions were completely fucked. 6 chicks out of over 200,000 got the letter/number mapping question in a decade. Earth bigger than the Sun got old quick. OH, but they were all so mature and wise or educated and enlightened...


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## FlaviaGemina (May 3, 2012)

Nephandus said:


> Yeah, basically the sentence in context means "Why did you have to be THAT Romeo?". Completely rhetorical since she didn't know he was there yet.
> 
> I don't do theater, which is SO much of a bizarre thing to ever have to say where I'm from, and I don't recall ever seeing a real play (unless you count Patch the Pirate :crazy, but I did happen to read Shakespeare as a kid to see what the fuss was about. Got in trouble for Romeo and Juliet at the public library specifically around 3rd or 4th grade, IIRC. Southern Baptist aren't big on the classics... It's the mentality behind the OkCupid answers that started pissing me off. The logic questions were completely fucked. 6 chicks out of over 200,000 got the letter/number mapping question in a decade. Earth bigger than the Sun got old quick. OH, but they were all so mature and wise or education and enlightened...


Hey, don't mansplain that scene to me, I know exactly what it means. Er, shit, I did make it sound as if I was asking you a question.

I've never used OKCupid, so I don't really understand your post. Who is it that asks those questions? Is it a quiz? Or do members ask these questions?

Sent from my EVA-L09 using Tapatalk


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

It sounds like a maturity thing for them. When someone calls me a guy it sounds odd. I tend to dislike like it when people don't call me by my name when I'm talking to them, in spite of the fact that I usually only use names to get attention. Exclusively referring to me as "You" during a conversation seems somewhat condescending, it lacks a human touch which is the name. The name assigns individuality. "Guy" is much worse though. For example, "Who's that guy?" It's only said in the context of a background extra who nobody knows or really cares about. I have no problem being lumped into group known as "The Kids." Being called a random guy is such a role reversal, I am normally important and known to my group.


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## Nephandus (May 16, 2017)

FlaviaGemina said:


> I've never used OKCupid, so I don't really understand your post. Who is it that asks those questions? Is it a quiz? Or do members ask these questions?


The entire matching is based on match questions, ignoring the new paternalistic enforced "mutual fit" filtering. Some of the originals were staff written long ago, several turnovers and a buyout ago. Most are user submitted and quality went to hell several years ago, probably after the first turnover. They were tagged to also give you personality traits as positive vs negative binaries. I almost pegged "more aggressive" and "less trusting" as my top and bottom. Also, had the highest "more rational" and "less friendly" I ever saw.

The whole thing was perverse since the match percentage was altered to pretend people had meaninglessly higher matches; then, they started altering percentages just to experiment on users to collect stats to sell books.


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## Salmon (Jun 2, 2017)

I will admit I have the bad(?) habit of calling petite women "girls". I can't help it :laughing:


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## baitedcrow (Dec 22, 2015)

INTJ - I don't care for it when I think it's being used in an infantilizing way, but also recognize that it's _usually_ just used as an equivalent to "guy" because it's single syllable and starts with the same letter. So I won't normally make a big deal out of it, but I do appreciate people that think to use "woman"* or "gal" or something that doesn't imply or aggrandize youth in women instead, even if it comes across as quirky.

* Unless they're like a 40 year old man that insists on referring to highschool girls as "women" - different ballgame there.


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## god of whiNE and TIts (Jul 21, 2017)

I do mind. I'd much rather be called a "gril."

It's how my reddit brethren refer to me


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## Cthulhu And Coffee (Mar 8, 2012)

I lead with Fi and I don't mind. I guess maybe I should because I'm technically a woman. But I don't mind, because I don't feel like an adult. >_>


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## CrystallineSheep (Jul 8, 2012)

I find being called a girl patronising. I am an adult, not a child thanks.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I am not offended personally by it if it takes place like where I feel a need to raise issue or correct someone 

I prefer to be referred to as a woman tho

It is a bit patronizing in some contexts and yes I do actually believe it's rooted to underlined social psychological conditions but no I don't wish to inflate the issue by raising a stink about it. I would rather just refer to the man who calls me a girl as a boy to get the point across than to actually sit and squabble about terminology. 

I.e. A male says "that girl should smile" referring to me. Me... "you seem like a nice boy sure your intentions are well". Haha have a good day lil boy.


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## Monadnock (May 27, 2017)

I perceive many people in their 20s, both male and female, to still be kids. So I use "girl" and "boy" often. S'not necessarily a bad thing, childhood is supposed to be precious and timeless. If you still contain that part of your life, cherish it!


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## Younce (May 4, 2017)

I find it rather irritating being called a girl. Thing is, I look like I am 12, so I can't really get offended. 

I think being called a girl by those who are in my age range or younger is demeaning. If they were older by over 20-30 years, then I wouldn't find it offensive, I would be a child compared to them. I understand those who like being called a girl-- it makes them feel younger-- but I think "woman" harbors more respect and maturity. Of course, I am only 18, so I don't need to worry about looking old anytime soon. :laughing:


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## sweetbaby (Jul 25, 2017)

Um I get called a girl all the time by my family so I'm used to it and don't care


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## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

It is inappropriate.

I am not a "girl" nor "boy" nor "man/woman", nor an a-gendered reptilian specimen: The only "names" I respond towards:

_Catwalk, Cat, 'darling' 'babydoll' 'babe' 'hunnypie', 'beautiful' 'ms/miss', 'aye!' and '*excuse me*',_ 

(Except within professionalism/requirement where my formal name is used). There aren't other exception(s) that deviate from the above.


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## _XXX_ (Oct 25, 2014)

.


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## GoosePeelings (Nov 10, 2013)

I'd say I'm young enough to be called a girl without it being an insult, though I don't think I've ever been called that to my face. And I suppose I look quite young anyway.


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## JosiAtara (Aug 2, 2017)

I don't think I'm bothered by being called anything, as long as it's not said with malice. I've never really felt offended by being called any generic title. Girl, chick, dude, guy, hey you, "so-and-so's sister," "Mrs. so-and-so" "so-and-so's wife," Jennifer (which isn't my name some people see me as a Jennifer, which normally would bother me since I never cared much for the name, but when it happened more than once and only with that name, I found it amusing and not offensive).


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## incision (May 23, 2010)

Mostly don't care but if there's intent to condescend, I'll fire back 'pup' or worse yet 'kitten', lol.


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## Flaming Bassoon (Feb 15, 2013)

I'm okay with it because I'm young (20), and look even younger than that -- like, 16. That being said, calling clearly grown women "girls" annoys me, but there's bigger fish to fry.


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## Sylarz (Sep 4, 2014)

"Woman" is just older in my mind.


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## Exxe (Jul 25, 2017)

I'm only 18 so I suppose I'm still kind of in the "girl" category (even though I'm a woman physically and in the eyes of the law). It doesn't bother me a ton but I still voted that it bothered me because I'm still bitter about looking very young for my age.


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## caity811 (Feb 9, 2015)

I don't really care. I usually see "girl" as a word for a female child or a friend who's female, such as "hey girl." It definitely has a younger connotation, but it doesn't bother me, unless it's thrown around in a condescending way.


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## atamagasuita (May 15, 2016)

I don't really care. Call me a bitch, a whore, i don't mind


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