# Are you nice to people?



## Krelian91 (May 2, 2012)

I always try to be, as much as possible. Being kind to another person doesn't cost anything and can only bring positive results to both sides (you may gain a friend and the other person feels better), so there's no reason not to be.


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## nehzuhs (Mar 4, 2013)

I think I'm quite aloof though I try to be nice. It's hard though. Some people just seem so desperate to hasten the shortening of my fuse.


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## Eos_Machai (Feb 3, 2013)




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## TrailMix (Apr 27, 2011)

I always try to be nice and polite or at least genuine enough to ensure others that I mean no harm. I think the only time I am not nice is when I think people are not listening to me or do not value what I say. Then they have unleashed the beast haha. I can be kind of harsh but I always feel really bad later even though I don't often apologize. I usually hold back as much as I can but tend to let slip some snarky or rather rude comments when I get annoyed enough


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## Aware (Mar 26, 2013)

Yes, I'm nice by default. There's no poing in making enemies and I frankly hate people who are pointlessly rude.


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## nyummy (Mar 26, 2013)

Not in the slightest.

(Jk.. _maybe_)


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## Tophthetomboy (Feb 18, 2012)

I am not naturally "outgoingly nice" but I try to be nice anyway when necessary. It would be unnecessary to act unkind to someone, even if I don't feel the best at the time, I don't want to cause any unnecessary trouble or tension. But if you want me to be truly honest, it's not in my nature to be beaming niceness by default though, lol, unless I'm interested in the person, they share an interest, or they're a good friend or acquaintance of mine. 

:ninja:


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## Shazzette (May 26, 2012)

Yes and they don't appreciate it.

Usually they just think it gives them a licence to walk all over me. Then they see how nasty I can get ...


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## CaptSwan (Mar 31, 2013)

I'm usually a victim of myself. I'm a really nice guy; but because people who don't know me see me all serious; they think I bite or something, which I only do when requested. The only time I lose my usual charming self is when I see someone being an unfounded egotistical ass; then my serious face usually represents what I think of you. But, 95% of time; I'm quite charming and amusing.

BTW: To thread starter, nice avatar. Hadn't seen the Quadratic Formula in years.


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## TheProcrastinatingMaster (Jun 4, 2012)

Polite, yes.
Nice, not really.


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## Konigsberg (May 10, 2012)

I'm nice to people within my own terms of what is being nice.

For me it's to tolerate and respect them. Their beliefs, decisions (as long as these don't hurt someone else), personality, personal space. To be honest and non judgmental with them.
But apparently for most people being 'nice' is being warm and fuzzy and pretending interest. :dry: In fact, some would rather prefer you'd lie to them out of 'niceness'. That's not nice to me and I'm not gonna change my conception. I'm fine as it is, even if everybody else deems me cold.


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## hidden_thinker (Apr 2, 2013)

Once I realized that generally all people are good, it became easy to be nice. I try to focus on the goodness of the person rather than judging some specific action I may disagree with. There is no harm in saying please, thank you and holding the door. That being said, i can still be reserved and aloof. In times of stress and/or unhappiness my negatives do come out. I can be too judgmental and the minus of being relatively smart and good with words is that it's way to easy to descend into being a condescending dick.


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## surra (Oct 1, 2012)

I can't be very jolly because I'm depressed. I can be a straight shooter sometimes. :blushed: In general I'm not mocking anybody or anything I'm just weird sometimes. I also have a fear of people so I'm a very anxious person. I lack people skills also and have spent years alone on my own and can be very rusty with social amenities that were relatively handled years spent. I'm not very verbal and quick.


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## Helios (May 30, 2012)

I tolerate most people, so whether that is interpreted as niceness or not is something I'm terrible at pinpointing. I will say that I don't go out of my way to be rude to people. Lol.


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## PowerShell (Feb 3, 2013)

surra said:


> I can be a straight shooter sometimes.


That's the best way to do it though. If people want my advice, I give them a straight answer on what I observe. I see this is being nice and not sugarcoating stuff. Here's your problem and here is how you go about fixing it. Yeah a lot of people view this as being an asshole but there's people who do actually listen and it helps them. I know I had one friend who said 99% of everything you say is dead accurate.


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## Elistra (Apr 6, 2013)

I genuinely try to be. I find that overall, "being nice" is more productive than being an asshole, especially in the long term.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

I am nice as long as I'm not given a reason NOT to be.


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## Pogona Vitticeps (Mar 18, 2013)

Yes, I´m nice to people, I don´t have any use of getting into fights as soon as I open my mouth.


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## BelovedDay (Feb 7, 2013)

It depends if they're nice to me.


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## m12 (Apr 2, 2013)

I am polite


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## surra (Oct 1, 2012)

PowerShell said:


> That's the best way to do it though. If people want my advice, I give them a straight answer on what I observe. I see this is being nice and not sugarcoating stuff. Here's your problem and here is how you go about fixing it. Yeah a lot of people view this as being an asshole but there's people who do actually listen and it helps them. I know I had one friend who said 99% of everything you say is dead accurate.


I think Ti people understand this. To other people we look nosy or something.


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## TyDavis (Mar 8, 2013)

I try to be but I think I get misinterpreted because I have a crude and vulgar sense of humor, even though I rarely say anything with the intention of being malicious.


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## Garee (May 2, 2012)

Apparently I come off as a bitch, but maybe it's because I'm always sarcastic. I think I can be nice if I get to know the person. Although I can be intentional rude to certain people, but they don't deserve my respect so wth.


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## Opus101 (Feb 23, 2013)

Well, at least I try to be nice. lol. However when a person starts to get annoying, I try not to make a fuss, and just go somewhere else.


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## aliceinbrc (Sep 10, 2012)

I tend to be a little extra nice if I think it will give me a pass for being a huge smart-ass. I like the freedom to say what-the-f*ck-ever I'm thinking, so I pay it forward. This system has worked out pretty good, but it's good to save up some good will before pushing it too far.

At work I _always_ try to give credit where it's due. If a subordinate has gone above-and-beyond, I will write a memo to his/her personnel file. And if I get kudos for good work, I make sure to thank everyone who was involved. This practice has made me popular at work and has established me as a "good boss."

Like others have said, the best way to get me not to be nice is to not be nice to me. I rarely instigate a hostile confrontation (unless absolutely necessary), but if you draw blood first ... I tend to _over_-reciprocate. It's funny, it's almost as if I save up all my "nice" karma until someone does/says something sh*tty to me (or someone I care about), and then I explode.


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## Collie (Apr 15, 2013)

Yes, I'm generally decent and polite to people. It's the easiest way of getting through a task and avoiding awkward speed bumps along the way, but I'm only good at matching whatever feedback I receive; I can't force myself to be any nicer than someone is being to me.


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## Brixby Jones (Apr 7, 2013)

I am a self-proclaimed "equal opportunity offender". In other terms, everyone has the ability and is given the chance not to disappoint me and I welcome any form of judgment upon my person -- as long as it is accurate and warranted. I hold everyone to the same standard I hold myself, if they can't cut it, I don't bother with niceties of any sort. This supposed "derision" is the source of all my best (most interesting) interactions with the human race, so I don't see any outlying reason to change it.


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## Devrim (Jan 26, 2013)

I am nice to people for the most part 

It just makes me feel better for it!


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## heyimawkward (Jul 6, 2012)

I'm nice to people because it makes things simpler. It's easier to accomplish what I need to accomplish when I don't have to work around people who are pissed at me. I guess you could say it's more a strategic move than anything else.


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## Jetsune Lobos (Apr 23, 2012)

Sure, so long as they're not a piece of shit.


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

l think a tendency to want to take in a lot of information comes off as some sort of ''nice''. l'm open to people. And things.

Fe style niceness isn't really my thing, when it's applied liberally and indiscriminately. l don't think l'll ever understand being _nicey_ nice to everyone or trying to win a lot of people over. l tend to hide Fe, if anything.

Not really a small talk person. l will talk to lots of different people but l don't usually have appropriate small talk topics on hand. Kind of, ''we speak about what l want to speak about even if it's weird or you can fuck of'', l suppose :kitteh:

Now, for me being ''mean" or really even unpleasant knowingly is something l don't understand and l agree that positive energy is helpful for everyone.

The backlash from people who feel they're treated like doormats when they're ''nice'' is separate from being amiable. My brand of niceness doesn't lead anyone to believe l will be of any assistance to them.


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## sjack (Mar 18, 2013)

I'm very polite with strangers, but I'm much more frank and informal with my friends (i.e. swearing and sharing my warped sense of humour). I don't go looking for trouble when I engage with people on a daily basis, so at least I'm relatively easy person to deal with.


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## War pigs (Sep 12, 2012)

I TRY to be nice to people, really. It's not that I'm an asshole, it's just that I have to neglect a big part of my thinking and focus on the feels in a conversation for it to be descent, people don't always listen when I report facts. I don't mean to be an asshole when I do.


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## Marisa (Apr 26, 2012)

I'm not a malicious, rotten person... But I'm probably not very nice if I have to be honest with myself. I can be pretty sour and snarky and unless you're important to me I'm a fairweather friend.


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## Chaerephon (Apr 28, 2013)

Yes. I currently work in retail, I know what it means to actually be nice.


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## Marisa (Apr 26, 2012)

NameUser said:


> Yes. I currently work in retail, I know what it means to actually be nice.


I work retail too.

I wouldn't say I'm nice to customers, more like merciful.


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## Chaerephon (Apr 28, 2013)

Marisa said:


> I work retail too.
> 
> I wouldn't say I'm nice to customers, more like merciful.


Haha exactly, one of my jobs right now is at a meat market. People get feisty over their dinner.


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## Archetype (Mar 17, 2011)

What is the definition of nice? Some people can be seems nice to other but they don't really care about them. Is being polite equals being nice? Anyway, I always try to joke around with people and being friendly, I always try to not offend them.


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## BlackMoonlight (Oct 16, 2012)

Sometimes.


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## MissWendy (Jan 7, 2011)

Priva said:


> Feel free to answer without reading.
> 
> I don't engage in small talk more than I deem necessary-and I certainly don't enjoy it-but "getting on people's good side" has its benefits. I tend to act polite and don't say something I know will cause a debate (unless said person wants to!) I don't ever lie about my opinions, but if asked I will phrase them in a way that is entirely non-confrontational. I save my "interesting" discussions for the few I know will appreciate them. This way, people pretty much give me free reign, respect, etc. and although boring at times due to this, life is pretty good.
> 
> So-are you nice to people? Do you follow social conventions and reap the rewards and repercussions?



Am I nice? I can be very, depend on whom I interact with. Im a killer on one on one, I am average in group of people. 

I dont follow any social conventions unless I know it will give me a huge advantage. I am one of those who believe I can crack the code, doing the least and get the most. ( I really do, and I mostly do)

I took more of an active role for now, as much i respect silent I know building your image will give you strong advantage


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## Xavier (Sep 19, 2010)

Polite, not nice. Good manners builds sturdy walls.


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## bewu (Jul 14, 2013)

Yes, usually because there's no reason not to, and then people are nice back
If people are mean I'll just be the better man

I like the fact that every now and then an NF will post, and I have to wonder why..


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## brotherdarkness (Jul 18, 2013)

No, not really, I try to be polite when its called for but I'm pretty much a selfish person.


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## StarDust_Kraut (Feb 5, 2013)

i try to be polite and i dont like to hurt people. 
but i am often too inconsiderate and hasty in communication to be genuinely nice.


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## Goddess (Jul 21, 2013)

I don't think anyone's EVER called me "nice" in my entire lifetime, lol.

Polite, courteous..yes, for the most part. But I don't go out of my way to be. Granted, I also never go out of my way to be blatantly rude either, though I have no problem doing so if someone steps on my toes first.


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## Capsaicin (Jul 23, 2013)

I like to think I'm nice, but I may fall into the "polite and courteous" crowd because I tend not to go out of my way for others and can be abrasive. I did once chase after a woman leaving the store in front of me all the way into the parking lot because she left her change at the self-checkout machine, but the alternatives were taking the money, letting someone else take the money, or giving it to the store in the hope she'd get it back sometime.


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## Paq (May 19, 2013)

I'm nice to people I would consider aquantinces, but demanding and at times snappy to people I know well.


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## evilarchitect (May 20, 2010)

i can be extremely pleasant and charming, though i'm always on the more reserved side. but i have to be in the mood.

i can be pleasant while not in the mood and when that happens (often at work), i fear the bullshit smile will give way to a growl or impulsive episode...like going postal. being fake is not good for my health, or i suspect, anyone's.

methinks postal workers deserve a little bit of respect for at least being authentic about how they feel.


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## elixare (Aug 26, 2010)

I'm very nice to people who are beneficial to me

For those who are not beneficial to me, well, first of all I won't even notice their existence...and if they do try to make their existence felt by bothering me in any ways I will most likely end up barking at them


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## lilysocks (Nov 7, 2012)

i hate bullies, and i hate psychological stupidity. and selfishness. so i think i come off as extremely 'nice' in a really low-key lateral kind of way, because i tend to go out of my way to interfere with that kind of shit when it tries to go on where i can see it. i'm not sure most people even really register why they feel they 'like' me, but really i think i've seen a lot of expressions that look like unexpected relief and/or gratitude, just because if someone else is trying to hang you from some subtle psychological hook, i'm likely to come along for no reason at all and take the ground out from under them.

but nah, i'm probably not 'nice' really, or if i am it's only ever for reasons entirely my own. got way way too much when i was younger of people projecting their own expectations of how 'nice' i should be onto me, and then punishing me for not living up to those demands. it's a bit of a hot-button issue for me, even now. took me quite a long time to work out how to be 'nice' on my own recognizance and according to my own internal morals and ethics on it, and i'm pretty ferociously territorial about that right to define it all for myself, even now.

edit to add: i guess the simplest way of describing the expectation-control problems is: most people seem to associate 'niceness' with empathy. i don't actually feel much of a personal connection with anyone who i don't know, so my form of 'nice' is pretty cold-blooded when you try to measure it in those terms. it's just as real, but it's drawn out of something more abstract. it's more like ethics.


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## VamPie (Dec 25, 2012)

freddo said:


> Polite, not nice. Good manners builds sturdy walls.


Exactly. And I hate when people behave like I owe them kindness. I don't. Sometimes I am kind, but I don't have to be kind towards strangers.

'Nice' is a little ambiguous word, as some people understand is as polite, some as kind/friendly. 


Some people see me as nice and some not. It's in the eye of beholder.


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## Raziel (Jun 12, 2013)

Context is everything. I'm nice to whomever I expect to meet again (obviously for practical reasons), or who impresses me in some way. To everyone else, I'm kind of a dick.

I don't generally like to be _called _"nice" though, as it just sounds so terribly boring.


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## Lunexia (Aug 6, 2013)

I definitely try to be nice to people, even when I'm not feeling good.


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## Mikasa (Jun 15, 2013)

I see no reason to create a negative atmosphere, so I generally give a nice (or at least neutral polite vibe) towards the majority of people I come across. If I really can't be bothered, then I will usually avoid people entirely. The times I can be considered "mean" usually only occur when others insist on forcing interaction with me when I'm actively trying to avoid them. 

Even towards the few people that don't like me for whatever reason, I would say I am a 'cold neutral'. I can still work with them drama-free to get a job done if it's for an overall greater benefit, but I will not do so any more than is necessary before I go back to doing my own thing. 

I guess in my ideal situation, I prefer being simply 'neutral'. In some ways, that lets me fly under the radar to avoid both drama _and _expectations of constant socializing.


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## Debaser (Jul 17, 2013)

I'm nice to people who aren't idiots. Those who are idiots are passive-aggressively mocked, and the beauty of it is they don't even realize it because they're idiots. Well, I'll also sometimes be a dick just for the lulz.


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## remmycool (Apr 10, 2013)

Debaser said:


> I'm nice to people who aren't idiots. Those who are idiots are passive-aggressively mocked, and the beauty of it is they don't even realize it because they're idiots. Well, I'll also sometimes be a dick just for the lulz.



I love the rush of excitement I get when I realize I'm talking to a mean idiot. Toying with nice idiots feels cruel after a while, and being rude to smart mean people can backfire big time, but a mean idiot is just a perfect target. No guilt, no repercussions, no gloves needed.

Sometimes, I wish I could rent people like that. Like, "this guy parked sideways across three handcapped spots, and then blamed it on Obamacare. You can verbally abuse him for $2 a minute." God damn that would be sweet.


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## Zero One (Nov 30, 2009)

I'm polite to almost everyone, at first. Where it goes form there depends on them. Am I nice to everyone? I can be nice to strangers. I'm definitely not mean.


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## Caged Within (Aug 9, 2013)

I'm a savage, but I try to be nice to folks. I try to give firm handshakes, give direct eye contact, listen to people when they have something to say, make jokes, and try to understand where people are coming from, even if it's from a worldview that I don't agree with or understand. I also tend to say "sir" and "ma'am" a lot. Even though I prefer to come out with the truth, I try to handle it based upon my knowledge of the person I'm talking with. It's not that I'm concerned with my image. People just tend to have feelings, and I'm not a guy whose out to hurt anyone. Plus, I only like my conflict, when it comes with sparring gear.


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## anon1234 (May 15, 2013)

I'm kind, but I'm not nice.


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## DylanA (Apr 25, 2013)

I'm blunt so that alone scares people away. I'll be nice for the most part to most acquaintances (still blunt though). To people I don't like I make it clear and say things like "I don't like you", "get out of my face", etc. Then there's random people I generally don't like who I ridicule & mock, mainly to watch them freak out. I'm probably meanest & nicest to my friends.


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