# Should I suck it up and try to be a man?



## halfamazing (Oct 13, 2014)

johnson.han.3 said:


> honestly, do you have insecurity of being who you are? you seems to watch and project way too much in terms of "manliness". we all know those who does that often are the least secure.


This is a thread about manning up. I don't watch these videos. A quick google of a known athlete that I follow, who happens to receive these same questions from his followers, lead me to posting this.

Even if the OP is a woman, I will give the same advice. 

This is about an OP asking about if he or she should man up. Go to any other forum and he or she will get hammered for asking such a question.

It has nothing to do with insecurities. If that is the energy you get from me, then use your talents and understand where it comes from.


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## halfamazing (Oct 13, 2014)

Riven said:


> I want to know why guys are given so much crap for having an androgynous look. I see girls wearing long dyed hair and edgy accessories and almost no guy with the same.
> 
> Sent from my MotoG3 using Tapatalk


This is a fair question and again, very few masculine men would or even want to take the time to answer because they don't understand. Not only that, it isn't easy to articulate for many reasons. I can tell you some things about me that you would never believe. I am one of the more open minded people because not only due to my exposures, but because of my willingness to understand, and express what I have learned. This is why i have many problems with gay men. I can talk to a gay man and understand everything and anything but while being tough and hard on them when need be. This attracts them to me and ultimately attempt to "turn me". 

But to recap and answer your question- much of it is the unwillingness of most people to learn about certain subject matter and are just not willing to put in the effort. Couple that with peer pressure, fear of being hit on, etc.. There is so much more to it.

@- also, it comes down to authenticity. People have a great authentic meters (those who are less bias as we all are in some way). Tomboys are authentic and men accept them as who they are. I treat tomboys as if they were part of the boys. So if you come to me and you are a man but have feminine tendencies, i will treat you with tender tenderness. I will even test you with jokes to determine how far to address you. I have had many men tell me to take it easy and be less aggressive with them and so I adjust. I sometimes take it a bit too far in trying to relate to them and this can have a "leading on" effect- which then can cause them to chase me. It is not in any way manipulative but more so a way to better connect with them. It gets draining because that is not my natural state of being and I don't like being hit on by men. I find it very imposing but I don't react aggressively towards that approach- unless they take it to far. I have many gay men constantly apologizing because they send me all types of nude texts. it's their way of testing me.

A straight gay man *usually has it easier because people can have the choice. Also, quality men feel less threatened by gay men so they let their guards down. However, if confronted with the likes of those who aren't sure who they want to me, then


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## General Lee Awesome (Sep 28, 2014)

halfamazing said:


> This is a thread about manning up. I don't watch these videos. A quick google of a known athlete that I follow, who happens to receive these same questions from his followers, lead me to posting this.
> 
> Even if the OP is a woman, I will give the same advice.
> 
> ...


thats not the question.

Do you have it? this is not the first time o.o.

just curious.

Also this thread is not about how to man up, but whether he should follow this archaic beliefs or not...... read the thread title.


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## halfamazing (Oct 13, 2014)

johnson.han.3 said:


> thats not the question.
> 
> Do you have it? this is not the first time o.o.
> 
> ...


No, it is not insecurity- notice my response #22 response to the OP. However, your questions in general do not come from a place of sincerity but from a place of badgering. Now, with that being said, this is the advice center and not current events. If you really want me to elaborate and go into depth, then create a separate post and I will do so. But we will not deviate from the OP's question. You will see to it and respect the OP. 

Don't be selfish and rude. Is that manly enough for you thumper?


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## halfamazing (Oct 13, 2014)

@Riven

Pardon the slight disruption. Continue if and when you want to discuss more. Don't be afraid to ask anything.


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## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)

Man up and be what you want.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

Real men don't give a shit.
Seriously though, stop looking at it in terms of manning up and look at these things in terms of your goals. 



*Having short hair -* if you're trying to find employment and this is an issue, cut it.
*Being physically fit i.e. lifting weights -* exercise is healthy, if you want to improve your health this is an option. (Ironically, this makes you health conscious :shocked
*Not talking too much about emotions and sensations -* do what you're comfortable with.
*Looking like crap and not being health conscious for the sloppy i.e. smoking* - this is also a health decision.
*Having facial and body hair -* I don't think anyone cares about this much anymore because metrosexual is trendy, do whatever you want. There are so many men's grooming products out there you can't even argue that trimming/removing hair isn't manly anymore, lol.
*Being boring as hell for the more decent male role models -* not sure what you mean by this, unless you're saying the typical male role model is uninteresting to you?
*Having a boring wardrobe - *depends how you define boring... there are men who are "stylish".

Here's a man who doesn't look like crap, knows how to dress well and has an OCD grooming routine..


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## Riven (Jan 17, 2015)

ninjahitsawall said:


> Real men don't give a shit.
> Seriously though, stop looking at it in terms of manning up and look at these things in terms of your goals.
> 
> 
> ...


All my job applications have been online so far, so haircuts aren't yet an issue for me. I also just wouldn't want to have one. 
Sent from my MotoG3 using Tapatalk


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

Riven said:


> All my job applications have been online so far, so haircuts aren't yet an issue for me. I also just wouldn't want to have one.
> Sent from my MotoG3 using Tapatalk


In some fields it's seen as unprofessional. If it's not an issue there's no reason you need to have short hair.


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## General Lee Awesome (Sep 28, 2014)

halfamazing said:


> No, it is not insecurity- notice my response #22 response to the OP. However, your questions in general do not come from a place of sincerity but from a place of badgering. Now, with that being said, this is the advice center and not current events. If you really want me to elaborate and go into depth, then create a separate post and I will do so. But we will not deviate from the OP's question. You will see to it and respect the OP.
> 
> Don't be selfish and rude. Is that manly enough for you thumper?


Believe me I'm sincere.


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## Riven (Jan 17, 2015)

ninjahitsawall said:


> In some fields it's seen as unprofessional. If it's not an issue there's no reason you need to have short hair.


I find men's clothes rather boring as well, even if there's ones with great colours on them.

Sent from my MotoG3 using Tapatalk


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## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)

Riven said:


> As I see it, this is what I think being a man means:


As I wrote earlier:
- Man up and be what you want. (That's what men do.) 

Assert yourself in your eyes as first priority, then figure out what you need from everyone else and how to get it.


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## Aridela (Mar 14, 2015)

Riven said:


> As I see it, this is what I think being a man means:
> 
> *Having short hair -* this I don't want because I look horrible with it; unfortunately, the military (including those who deal with conscripts), fascist groups and current trends despite its liberalism like this on men, the former one for practicality and fascism because it fits with their schema for individuals as well as with the military's policy for buzzing men's hair off. My hair's too short to actually straighten it, but I don't want it cut any shorter than that, and it always just frizzes up and curls; I could have my hair done professionally by someone else, but that costs a lot and I won't trust them even if they kept it long since I hate slicked back hair on most people.
> *Being physically fit i.e. lifting weights -* I don't see many situations where I'll require this, except, say, in places where conscription is mandatory. It'd be nice, but I'm just not really interested; unless I saw any real progress (fortunately so right now), I'd rather be paid to exercise than pay to do so.
> ...


No, you should do whatever makes you happy. 

Personally I find a man who's the exact opposite of what you describe as 'ideal', well ideal.


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## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)

Riven said:


> I find men's clothes rather boring as well, even if there's ones with great colours on them.


Yes they are. I agree. I got a brave trick up my sleeve. FLOWERS!! Use them as accessories (AND gifts). You're stuck with a boring tux? Well, match socks+belt+pocket square(+glasses) with well placed, well seated matching flowers. And suddenly you'll get complemented and seen all evening. You might want to have a light fresh perfume that goes well with flowers. Details.


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## IDontThinkSo (Aug 24, 2011)

If you put all the contextual trends aside, being a man generally simply means being an adult. Someone with a good mental discipline, in control of oneself, morally reliable, and a constructive attitude that builds civilizations. Being a woman in opposition means to stay a baby, playing a role, and lacking heroism. That is the history of the term and its influence, man is a semantically non-gendered term that connects with human virtues : courage, intelligence, fertility... Woman means wif (feminine/gynoid gender) man, whereas wer (masculine/android) men are simply expected to be men. See, it's like *wo* is an excuse for not being men. Kinda _"are you sure it's a man? Well, it's a WO-man" _sort of misogyny. It's hilarious when the feminists throw a tantrum to being called womyn, because it just perpetuates the prejudicial nature of the term.

So in fact yes, everyone should man up. Or you can just stay a wer-man yourself, someone whose nature is an excuse for one's lack of mental maturity. It's ok not to be the ultimate model of virtue, unless you act all high and mighty, then it's not ok.


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## Riven (Jan 17, 2015)

pwowq said:


> Yes they are. I agree. I got a brave trick up my sleeve. FLOWERS!! Use them as accessories (AND gifts). You're stuck with a boring tux? Well, match socks+belt+pocket square(+glasses) with well placed, well seated matching flowers. And suddenly you'll get complemented and seen all evening. You might want to have a light fresh perfume that goes well with flowers. Details.


As much as I support environmental causes, I'm not really crazy about flowers, and the only ones I'm crazy about are lavenders because they apparently help with sleep problems

I'm also bored of sleeves. I'll only wear them if I really have to, so can't keep any flowers in there 

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## Riven (Jan 17, 2015)

IDontThinkSo said:


> If you put all the contextual trends aside, being a man generally simply means being an adult. Someone with a good mental discipline, in control of oneself, morally reliable, and a constructive attitude that builds civilizations. Being a woman in opposition means to stay a baby, playing a role, and lacking heroism. That is the history of the term and its influence, man is a semantically non-gendered term that connects with human virtues : courage, intelligence, fertility... Woman means wif (feminine/gynoid gender) man, whereas wer (masculine/android) men are simply expected to be men. See, it's like *wo* is an excuse for not being men. Kinda _"are you sure it's a man? Well, it's a WO-man" _sort of misogyny. It's hilarious when the feminists throw a tantrum to being called womyn, because it just perpetuates the prejudicial nature of the term.
> 
> So in fact yes, everyone should man up. Or you can just stay a wer-man yourself, someone whose nature is an excuse for one's lack of mental maturity. It's ok not to be the ultimate model of virtue, unless you act all high and mighty, then it's not ok.


Interesting bit of linguistics you raised there. I think this will help to better justify true gender blindness i.e. not wishing for more genders. Although I can understand the inner traits for a man, I'm a bit more fearful about getting used to the ideal male external appearance. As @ninjahitsawall said, I can't get employment unless if I cut my hair. It isn't long, but it isn't short, and it's hella messy.

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## Riven (Jan 17, 2015)

pwowq said:


> Assert yourself in your eyes as first priority, then figure out what you need from everyone else and how to get it.


My parents don't really like selfishness. I don't have to impress them, but they do have a point.

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## sweetraglansweater (Jul 31, 2015)

Riven said:


>


what this guy needs is a jewish woman. problem solved.


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## Aya the Abysswalker (Mar 23, 2012)

Be whatever you want to be, just don't be annoying about it.


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