# How can an INTP become more like an ENTJ?



## sometimes (Dec 26, 2013)

It seems like a lot my problems would be solved if I was more like an ENTJ. I wallow in the past, figuring out my feelings etc. instead of just getting on and doing things to progress. I am too susceptible to be influenced, abused and manipulated by others even though I know what they're like and what I really think. 

How do I become more like an ENTJ?

It's interesting because ENTJ has the shadow functions of INTP which are meant to be strong in an INTP just not preferred. So who do I get my brain to automatically prefer the ENTJ functions and use them instead more often?


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## xdae (May 14, 2015)

You don't become an ENTJ. ENTJs are very confident, diligent, sociable, and successful. However, ENTJs can also be very domineering, controlling, ruthless, stubborn, impatient, narrow minded, and egotistical. 

If you want to be more like an ENTJ you're going to have to adopt the cons along with the pros. I believe what you really want is to be more confident in yourself. This can't be obtained easily through some magical forum words in a day. But if you work at it slowly, you can see great improvement over time.

My suggestion is to get some self-improvement/empowering books and actively practice their guidelines. The Charisma Myth is a good start if you're clueless. The author has a nice pdf with all her suggested exercises to practice on her website. 

One exercise that she discusses is to fully submerge yourself in discomfort. When conversing with others, challenge yourself to look people in the eye without taking your gaze off. When you enter an elevator or crowded bus, instead of facing away from people face towards them. The moment when the discomfort hits you, carefully recognize exactly what sensations you are feeling and why. Understanding and delving into your social discomfort will help you eventually overcome and master what previously made you uncomfortable.

I know this barely scrapes the path towards self-assurance, but it's small strides like these that will pay off in the end. No words on MBTI forums will help you now, only your actions will decide your improvement. So I challenge you to take your first step right now.


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## sometimes (Dec 26, 2013)

xdae said:


> You don't become an ENTJ. ENTJs are very confident, diligent, sociable, and successful. However, ENTJs can also be very domineering, controlling, ruthless, stubborn, impatient, narrow minded, and egotistical.
> 
> If you want to be more like an ENTJ you're going to have to adopt the cons along with the pros. I believe what you really want is to be more confident in yourself. This can't be obtained easily through some magical forum words in a day. But if you work at it slowly, you can see great improvement over time.
> 
> ...


I don't really want to be more self confident in social situations. I just want to learn to stop wallowing in the past and sorting out my feelings of guilt, shame, anger over the past etc. before I get on with anything and can feel like myself. ENTJ's don't seem to care about that stuff. Like how does an ENTJ deal with those emotions? How do they just seem to put them aside or ignore them or not have them in the first place and just get on with things instead? 

I just want to learn to think like an ENTJ in that regard so I can use it to look after myself and get on with what I want and ignore my feelings in a way. I want to be able to use that quality that ENTJ's have for the reasons I need to but I don't want to be like one in general and I don't wish to act like one in social situations really unless there is a confrontation that I can't run away from for example. It's more learning how to deal with my feelings and get on with my life and concentrate on myself and look after myself.

ENTJ's don't seem to sit around over analysing and seem to easily just look after themselves and do what they need to.


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## Necrilia (Jun 26, 2011)

pippylongstocking said:


> I don't really want to be more self confident in social situations. I just want to learn to stop wallowing in the past and sorting out my feelings of guilt, shame, anger over the past etc. before I get on with anything and can feel like myself.


That's doable, but not through changing your personality type (which is impossible), but with personal growth.


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## sometimes (Dec 26, 2013)

Necrilia said:


> That's doable, but not through changing your personality type (which is impossible), but with personal growth.


I know that but you can learn from other personalty types to be more like them in certain ways. I have said I don;t want to be an ENTJ. Just to be more like them in certain ways.


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## Necrilia (Jun 26, 2011)

pippylongstocking said:


> I know that but you can learn from other personalty types to be more like them in certain ways. I have said I don;t want to be an ENTJ. Just to be more like them in certain ways.


That is a challenge for an INTP, but still doable to some extent. 

The focus is always on efficiency and what's important in the long run. A more assertive approach could help you attain that.


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## sometimes (Dec 26, 2013)

I just don't understand how they do it. Like how do they deal with emotions and push them to the side or whatever? How do they not seem to care about all the things that I obsess over which get in the way? How do they deal with it when they make a mistake or when someone emotionally destroys them? Is it even possible for an ENTJ to make all the dumb mistakes I do and let themselves be emotionally abused or taken advantage of?

I can feel like that for a little bit or if I plan it. but to really do it with much effect is difficult for me. Not caring about all the things which bring me down and not over analysing everything feels unnatural or shallow to me. But I don't think ENTJ's are shallow for just getting on with their life and not wallowing in emotions and unnecessary analysis. So how do they do it? I've never had a close ENTJ friends to model it for me so i can really understand. I've just observed acquaintances and ENTJ characters.


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## JT Cove (May 21, 2015)

xdae said:


> If you want to be more like an ENTJ you're going to have to adopt the cons along with the pros.


False



pippylongstocking said:


> I just don't understand how they do it. Like how do they deal with emotions and push them to the side or whatever? How do they not seem to care about all the things that I obsess over which get in the way?


You have a common INxP problem of not engaging your Ne sufficiently in life. Aside from that, any INTJ/ENTJ would tell you that you make changes to your life by *just doing it* so *just do it* or you get what you get


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## reptilian (Aug 5, 2014)

pippylongstocking said:


> I don't really want to be more self confident in social situations. I just want to learn to stop wallowing in the past and sorting out my feelings of guilt, shame, anger over the past etc. before I get on with anything and can feel like myself. ENTJ's don't seem to care about that stuff. Like how does an ENTJ deal with those emotions? How do they just seem to put them aside or ignore them or not have them in the first place and just get on with things instead?


ENTJs dont have time to deal with such things, they are too busy thinking about other stuff. The question who am I, or what do I feel is irrelevant. Get your mind to focus on your future goals, how to achieve them, what is the best next step, what is my mindset and most important: the will to power.
I would also recommend some dopamine enhancing drugs. Drugs are very important.

But be careful not to become possessed by your shadow.


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## Emerl98 (May 10, 2016)

Their approach to feelings is different because their inferior function is different. They have inferior Fi and we have inferior Fe. They are very different. And hence, they do not suffer the same emotional problems that we do. Rather than try to become more like them in this aspect, you should try to find ways to deal with your own feelings. 

As said before, ENTJs will probably tell you to get over your emotions, or to just focus on something else, because that exactly how they see emotions themselves. They see them as something unimportant that can be pushed aside. It is not so easy to adopt such a mentality.

As an INTP I'd say the best way to deal with emotions is to let them pass and not fret over them. The more you think about them the more annoying it gets and you start to feel even more emotions. Also, try to find an outlet, like music or something.


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## Dude Guyson (Jul 25, 2016)

The odd part that I find about this post is that you've already stated what you need improvement on, I'm assuming you just don't know how to do it. 

Basically all you need to do is not muck about in analysis that won't change anything.

I realize that it's very terse advice but you should try this self-help.

If you begin to wallow in analysis and self-pity, just tell yourself "*this is not helping me, I should stop this and do something productive*". While it may be difficult in the beginning; it will greatly benefit you in the long term.

Implementing that thought process would probably give you similar results to what you want without it actually being as arduous as changing your whole personality type.


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## darkmatter (Jul 18, 2016)

I've been trying to figure out this question for awhile now myself. I have an ENTJ friend who seems unaffected by emotions, and is always happy. I thought I was the most rational/level headed person until I met him. I think I have an answer to this though, ENTJ's are not in their heads as much as INTP's and INTJ's. We think too much, over-analysis things and hold off on taking action. This makes us prone to a general feeling of melancholy. I think the solution to this is to somehow get out of our heads and stop thinking so much. Maybe do more activities that will develop our Se.


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## rookthecrook (Aug 3, 2016)

pippylongstocking said:


> It seems like a lot my problems would be solved if I was more like an ENTJ. I wallow in the past, figuring out my feelings etc. instead of just getting on and doing things to progress. I am too susceptible to be influenced, abused and manipulated by others even though I know what they're like and what I really think.
> 
> How do I become more like an ENTJ?
> 
> It's interesting because ENTJ has the shadow functions of INTP which are meant to be strong in an INTP just not preferred. So who do I get my brain to automatically prefer the ENTJ functions and use them instead more often?


Apparently it takes roughly 21 days to act like someone else and for your neural connections to strengthen and eventually naturally prefer that style of behaviour.. look at Maxwell Maltz Psycho-Cybernetics book.

BUT.. ENTJs are ruthless and although commanding (which may be why you envy this type..) lack perspective taking skills, and can be abrasive, rude and - generally speaking, their way is the highway.. many (not all) remain this way into old age.. 

I could punch out fact upon fact of peer reviewed research to an entj and I will cop rage and abuse about how idiotic or stupid, irrational etc I am to even believe such absurdity, then days later I will find a book in the post from said entj debunking and refuting everything I said. The book could easily be refuted by another book or journal.. however I don't bother because I can clearly see the entj is operating from a rageful, narrow minded perspective..(yes Im speaking from experience). I believe I have sustained an acquired brain injury in my dealings with them. Another one couldn't believe a lady on the bus opposite him was reading a paper he deemed to be bias (of course the paper's leanings politically misaligned with his views) so he pointed out how wrong the paper was and why etc to her. I mean.. who gives a toss if she reads it.. it is her RIGHT to whatever paper she wishes to read, even if I agree the paper is biased, however it is not the way to bring someone around to see your point of view.. They are truly some of the most undiplomatic types.

You are an INTP and are one of the most insightful, flexible and gifted types out there. You can look at all angles and make profound connections. ENTJs aren't capable of that, well ..some may be.. but I'm yet to see it. 

You need to ACCEPT yourself and not give a f*ck about trying to be anything other than who you are.. trying to be something you're not WILL lead to unhappiness. When I say accept yourself, I mean truly visualise cradling your beautiful baby self in your arms and apologising for trying to betray and contort to be something you're not. It may sound ridiculous, but it works wonders. You will cry.

Also, MBTI theory has since been thrown out in the scientific community, none of my psych books (2016 versions) have touched on it, and although it has its merits it isn't the be all and end all. Experiences, parenting, biology, confidence, personal goals etc all come into play and influences who you are to a large extent. 
Best thing you can do is set some goals and truly believe in them, that will lead you to success, but you've got to WANT the result. Maybe build up your confidence and think about where you want to go..study..work..values etc. I found volunteering shaped me and gave me perspective. 

Goodluck


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

I can relate a bit. I think rumination is more of a problem for introverts (it is a problem for extroverts when under extreme stress and they become basically damaged introverts). In terms of functions, what you describe is probably a Ti-Si loop and for me as an INTJ, Ni-Fi loop. I never really found the descriptions of breaking the loop satisfactory, though. Like what does it actually mean to let your aux function intervene and break the cycle? 

I think the key to breaking ruminating, overanalyzing the past etc. is to catch yourself doing it (I've been doing mindfulness exercises to help with this and actually got an app on my phone that asks me how I'm feeling every day, lol). It happens on autopilot because it's a habit. It might be more challenging for T types to even recognize it because we'll perceive it as "thinking" and not notice the underlying emotional significance. The extroverted types are better able to distract themselves externally from it, but that eventually backfires as well.


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## sometimes (Dec 26, 2013)

ninjahitsawall said:


> I can relate a bit. I think rumination is more of a problem for introverts (it is a problem for extroverts when under extreme stress and they become basically damaged introverts). In terms of functions, what you describe is probably a Ti-Si loop and for me as an INTJ, Ni-Fi loop. I never really found the descriptions of breaking the loop satisfactory, though. Like what does it actually mean to let your aux function intervene and break the cycle?
> 
> I think the key to breaking ruminating, overanalyzing the past etc. is to catch yourself doing it (I've been doing mindfulness exercises to help with this and actually got an app on my phone that asks me how I'm feeling every day, lol). It happens on autopilot because it's a habit. It might be more challenging for T types to even recognize it because we'll perceive it as "thinking" and not notice the underlying emotional significance. The extroverted types are better able to distract themselves externally from it, but that eventually backfires as well.


Yeah exactly I'm sick of sitting around ruminating wallowing in negative emotions. I don't want the bad aspects of being an ENTJ and I don't want to commanding or anything. I just want to get on with things, be successful and not ruminate over things which I don't want to. I want to just not let certain things affect me like things in the past. ENTJ's just seem to do what is best for them.

Yeah, the whole getting out of a Ti-Si loop by using more Ne again does make sense to a certain extent. Like, I will often feel better from being in a new environment or having new experiences as long as they are positive ones obviously. But banishing the past etc. is not always that easy. Then the next thing just goes wrong anyway.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

pippylongstocking said:


> Yeah exactly I'm sick of sitting around ruminating wallowing in negative emotions. I don't want the bad aspects of being an ENTJ and I don't want to commanding or anything. I just want to get on with things, be successful and not ruminate over things which I don't want to. I want to just not let certain things affect me like things in the past. ENTJ's just seem to do what is best for them.
> 
> Yeah, the whole getting out of a Ti-Si loop by using more Ne again does make sense to a certain extent. Like, I will often feel better from being in a new environment or having new experiences as long as they are positive ones obviously. But banishing the past etc. is not always that easy. Then the next thing just goes wrong anyway.


I don't think we can banish the past, just not be as affected by it. I usually get stuck ruminating when I (subconsciously) want some kind of closure or explanation of something.


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## janpers (Jul 10, 2016)

A) Put a time limit on it by allowing yourself 5 minutes a day only (or 15 minutes or whatever) to spend on wallowing in the past, on your feelings related to it, etc. If you want to wallow more, just say to yourself that you can get to do it again tomorrow, but not today.


B) Dilute it by taking on one more project or activity. Volunteering, as mentioned by rookthecrook, would be worthwhile. I recommend it as well. Sign up for a course somewhere. If you like, you can say to yourself, "The ENTJ isn't wasting his/her time, why should I ?" or something to that effect.


C) Are there mementos around your house that remind you of the past events that you don't want to wallow in ? If so, put them in a cardboard box out of sight. If you have friends that remind you, you can say what Abraham Lincoln said once about his duel (source).

Lincoln did not like to talk about the duel. An officer once asked him, in the Oval Office, if it was "true…that you once went out, to fight a duel and all for the sake of the lady by your side?" Lincoln replied, “I do not deny it, but if you desire my friendship, you will never mention it again.”​

D) There's something called "mis lit". I can't say I recommend it, but I put it out there as an option. 

E) What you said about the next thing going wrong 



pippylongstocking said:


> Then the next thing just goes wrong anyway.


suggests to me that something went wrong in the past. Maybe if you analyze the past situation and come up with one or more alternatives as to what you could have done instead/better, so the next time the same situation comes up, you are already prepared. Then that could put your mind at rest.


F) An ENTJ can make dumb mistakes, but they don't spend too much time feeling bad about it because it doesn't help them attain their next goal. If you want to try making vision boards or things like that, that could come close to simulating having the next goal constantly on your mind.


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## LeadIzolatorz (9 mo ago)

xdae said:


> You don't become an ENTJ. ENTJs are very confident, diligent, sociable, and successful. However, ENTJs can also be very domineering, controlling, ruthless, stubborn, impatient, narrow minded, and egotistical.
> 
> If you want to be more like an ENTJ you're going to have to adopt the cons along with the pros. I believe what you really want is to be more confident in yourself. This can't be obtained easily through some magical forum words in a day. But if you work at it slowly, you can see great improvement over time.
> 
> ...


Tested and proven. i just become very warm and sociable to people the next day after attempting to join groups even where i suspect they think im irritating. Did have a headache in the first day. In the next day, I love the adrenaline and my confidence was very high. Unlike when i was typed an intp who was just depressed and nihilistic. I do have nihilism but at least my ambitious personality came back after many years of self pity. "yay"


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## Antiparticle (Jan 8, 2013)

I think they are very similar, at later point in life (and for developed types), almost difficult to distinguish them. Intp is reversed entj, so maybe will sound much less opinionated (because of the introversion), but deep down as much as opinionated or higher.


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## Antiparticle (Jan 8, 2013)

sometimes said:


> It seems like a lot my problems would be solved if I was more like an ENTJ. I wallow in the past, figuring out my feelings etc. instead of just getting on and doing things to progress. I am too susceptible to be influenced, abused and manipulated by others even though I know what they're like and what I really think.
> 
> How do I become more like an ENTJ?
> 
> It's interesting because ENTJ has the shadow functions of INTP which are meant to be strong in an INTP just not preferred. So who do I get my brain to automatically prefer the ENTJ functions and use them instead more often?


No, your functions are fine as they are. 
What makes INTPs grow is their ability to lead people, so this is basically the main difference that makes ENTJs stand out earlier in life. INTPs should strive to take higher positions and manage/lead many people in parallel, they are the best type for this role (long-term), while ENTJs can be short-term leaders (easily transferable to other groups, companies etc.)


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