# Dating Your Own Type



## ajackson17 (Sep 6, 2012)

I never dated another type, but it's something I would go for. I would say I can become a responsible INTP and I will clean up, I just procrasinate, but if I'm in the mood everything will be spotless and I will do what I have to do. Don't like being broke, don't like living on the street, etc just to keep me happy and allow me to to be in my thoughts, etc. I think I would need another rational to keep up with me. SP's are too hard to keep up and interest both ways, SJ's are too standarized. NF's could be a great match and NT's are probably another great match.

As long as everything is kept rational and research is done, I don't really care what you believe in and creating free thinking children is a great thing.


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## Choice (May 19, 2012)

Raichu said:


> Too much competition.  .


What competition? I'm not competitive at all :O

I think the main problem with dating another ESTP is that I like to barrage people with questions and I'd be pretty pissed if they fail to give me an alternate ( as in very different) perspective on things all the time.


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## JungyesMBTIno (Jul 22, 2011)

It would probably be like dating anyone else - depends on the individual and how you personally relate to them. This is exactly what Jung meant by using this stuff as a "parlour game" - it was not meant for this, nor would it tell you anything about this. I mean, there might be people here married to people with the same type, and they may not even realize it (it would depend on their own self awareness). I mean, I know people of my type IRL I do relate to, and I don't relate to. It comes down mostly to persona, NOT type (that would be the equivalent of saying that you tend to be attracted to people who share your belief in religious salvation or something from the Jungian perspective). And no, not wanting to date someone of the opposite type from you does not necessarily make a person "immature" either - sexual attraction is just sexual attraction - I honestly wouldn't blame someone for wanting to avoid their opposite if they don't think that's going to bring enough mutual understanding to the relationship - it would HEAVILY depend on whether or not both parties are extremely mature or not (less likely in younger people). It might depend on how you lived your life as well - if you're an intuitive who had sensation parents, it's really likely you probably won't gravitate easily to dominant sensation types, depending on what you're looking for in someone on the personality level.


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## discoriver (Jan 9, 2013)

removed


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## cuzicouldyay (Jan 10, 2013)

@discoriver I majored in physics and minored in chemistry, by intellectual do you mean an interest in intelligent things? Or do you mean logical in one's thinking? I'm just curious, it seems like the first definitely crops up in Feelers as well as Thinkers. As for the second, I'm definitely not logical, so I'll stop now.


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## ajackson17 (Sep 6, 2012)

cuzicouldyay said:


> @_discoriver_ I majored in physics and minored in chemistry, by intellectual do you mean an interest in intelligent things? Or do you mean logical in one's thinking? I'm just curious, it seems like the first definitely crops up in Feelers as well as Thinkers. As for the second, I'm definitely not logical, so I'll stop now.


Pretty much intuitives want to play around with their ideas and not have much small talk, but talk about big ideas, etc. Not too big talking about how pretty this color is or that or this.


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## discoriver (Jan 9, 2013)

I may have sounded snooty like, "I like talking about smart things," but that's not what I meant. I like continuously learning and having someone I can talk to about what I learn. Things such as the hard sciences, new technologies, psychology, and the nature of reality are a few examples of topics that interest me. It seems to me that a lot of people I know and meet don't want to talk in a great deal of depth about complex stuff. They'd rather keep things lighter.


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## cuzicouldyay (Jan 10, 2013)

@discoriver Ah okay. Just want to throw out there that NFs are still an option. We may be feeling like mad, but we sure can think a lot too. 
@ajackson17 I look at a green leaf and think just how amazingly beautiful it is. It's amazing how all the science and things have come together to make this universe. I usually don't tell people about it much unless they comment on the color first though, depending on the company. For the most part, I try not to bury people in my feelings. But then again, I'm an intuitive too.

In summary: anyone want to talk quantum chemistry? I absolutely _love_ running computations on that stuff, it's been far too long.  ;D


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## WOLFsanctuary (Sep 19, 2012)

JungyesMBTIno said:


> It would probably be like dating anyone else - *depends on the individual and how you personally relate to them.* This is exactly what Jung meant by using this stuff as a "parlour game" - it was not meant for this, nor would it tell you anything about this. I mean, there might be people here married to people with the same type, and they may not even realize it (it would depend on their own self awareness). I mean, I know people of my type IRL I do relate to, and I don't relate to. It comes down mostly to persona, NOT type (that would be the equivalent of saying that you tend to be attracted to people who share your belief in religious salvation or something from the Jungian perspective). And no, not wanting to date someone of the opposite type from you does not necessarily make a person "immature" either - sexual attraction is just sexual attraction - I honestly wouldn't blame someone for wanting to avoid their opposite if they don't think that's going to bring enough mutual understanding to the relationship - it would HEAVILY depend on whether or not both parties are extremely mature or not (less likely in younger people). *It might depend on how you lived your life as well - if you're an intuitive who had sensation parents, it's really likely you probably won't gravitate easily to dominant sensation types, depending on what you're looking for in someone on the personality level.*


With me, it's the OPPOSITE  I can easily gravitate toward Extroverted Sensors because I grew up with an ESTJ mother and an ESTP father. In my early and mid 20s, I primarily dated men who were Introverts. It was so hard to keep the conversation going and when it eventually died, it was like pulling teeth to revive it. Now in my 30s, I enjoy Extroverted men so much more ;-) Any communication between us is fun and exciting! Even if we had fallen out in the past, we can always just pick up right where we left off (with the same speed and intensity) 

If I had to choose between "TOO much conversation" and/or "NOT enough conversation", I would go for the BIG Talkers any day of the week ;-)

By 4w3 SX/SP


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## hela (Feb 12, 2012)

I think it would be fine, although tbh I'm not usually attracted to other ENTPs--it's more of a brother-in-arms/knowing nod thing


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## Perhaps (Aug 20, 2011)

hela said:


> I think it would be fine, although tbh I'm not usually attracted to other ENTPs--it's more of a brother-in-arms/knowing nod thing


Yeah, I kind of feel this way about other INTJs. IN THEORY I would date one but I can't see things moving towards attraction from general camaraderie.


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## hela (Feb 12, 2012)

Perhaps said:


> Yeah, I kind of feel this way about other INTJs. IN THEORY I would date one but I can't see things moving towards attraction from general camaraderie.


Yeah. With other ENTPs I'm all WE'RE GOING ON A BEAR HUNT 

they are not the bear


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## ajackson17 (Sep 6, 2012)

cuzicouldyay said:


> @_discoriver_ Ah okay. Just want to throw out there that NFs are still an option. We may be feeling like mad, but we sure can think a lot too.
> @_ajackson17_ I look at a green leaf and think just how amazingly beautiful it is. It's amazing how all the science and things have come together to make this universe. I usually don't tell people about it much unless they comment on the color first though, depending on the company. For the most part, I try not to bury people in my feelings. But then again, I'm an intuitive too.
> 
> In summary: anyone want to talk quantum chemistry? I absolutely _love_ running computations on that stuff, it's been far too long.  ;D


I need to understand the computations the math portion to fully undertand physics and how scientists calculate their information, but I love to play with the theories.


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## ajackson17 (Sep 6, 2012)

Now you having me rethink my opinion on dating another intp lol, but I need an N. I been with enough sensors I do not get what I truly want out the relationship as far as communication and relating purposes. I talk like an intuitive and it takes a lot out of me to talk in a sensing mode. That's why I talk deeply with my only N friend who is an INTJ. It's great, I think I would prefer an INTJ wife more. I think that would be perfect as long as she is willing to share her inner world and I'll do the same no matter how crazy and insane it is. I think it would be for the best.


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## JungyesMBTIno (Jul 22, 2011)

WOLFsanctuary said:


> With me, it's the OPPOSITE  I can easily gravitate toward Extroverted Sensors because I grew up with an ESTJ mother and an ESTP father. In my early and mid 20s, I primarily dated men who were Introverts. It was so hard to keep the conversation going and when it eventually died, it was like pulling teeth to revive it. Now in my 30s, I enjoy Extroverted men so much more ;-) Any communication between us is fun and exciting! Even if we had fallen out in the past, we can always just pick up right where we left off (with the same speed and intensity)
> 
> If I had to choose between "TOO much conversation" and/or "NOT enough conversation", I would go for the BIG Talkers any day of the week ;-)
> 
> By 4w3 SX/SP


Yea, well, I was just saying that because intuition is the opposite of sensation, so someone with a "dominant" intuition preference might feel very misunderstood around sensation types, especially if their sensation dom. parents interferred with their preferences for honest self expression to begin with (sensation types for me IRL are very much an all-or-nothing deal - I definitely don't . I suppose aux. N types might be okay with S doms - they don't actually really have legitimate issues around sensation at all - they can probably go either way with intuition/sensation fine.


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## Lyssah (Mar 30, 2010)

I have to drag the enneagram into this. I agree with the aforementioned posts about how similar but different is a great compliment to any relationship. You have to have some common ground to be able to relate and communicate with each other effectively, but if there aren't any differences, you could get bored and/or life could be more complicated because you are weak in the same areas. 
My boyfriend is also an INFP, and we are both 4's, but that is where the difference ends. He is a 4w5-5-1 and I am a 4w3-9-7. 
We can easily communicate and have a basic understanding of each other, but our differences through the latter parts of our enneagram really balance us out. It was harder in some areas to understand each other, but our conversations are never boring and there is never a lack of passion. I bring him up and out of his moods and he gives me depth and profound insight.

That all being said, I also think the "N" is the biggest thing to have in common for another "N". Communication and relating styles are too different in my opinion to make for an effective relationship if these aren't the same. Hard-won knowledge through years of dating. There can be an intense sexual connection with N/S, but I found the relationship aspect to be lacking.


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## Dewymorning (Nov 24, 2012)

A person is much more than their type.

The argument that dating your own type is like dating yourself is false. People within the same type can be very different, they just use the same cognitive functions to think with. This means that it is easier to understand one another than otherwise, and that is an advantage balanced out by having similar weaknesses.

As someone pointed out earlier, values play an important part. For an INFJ, finding a partner who shares the same values is very important, so an INFJ/INFJ match where values are shared could be very strong, while an INFJ/INFJ match where they are not would be difficult.

Enneagrams play a part to play too. I would not advise a relationship where two people had both the same MBTI type and the same enneagram type. Others might feel different, but I feel that this could only reinforce weaknesses and insecurities. However, two people with different, but compatible enneagrams, things could work.

Maybe there is just something about the INFJ/INFJ match in particular. It's just magical.


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## Naught (Jan 9, 2013)

This could reveal itself as interesting. Having the same thought process could lead to interesting conversations, however I don't really know if this could lead to a romantic relationship, and not just friendship. The thing is, "type" isn't the only thing that defines a person.

But hey, who am I kidding, I've never been in a relationship.


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## shakti (Oct 10, 2012)

I'm not attracted to my type as I don't find anything exciting or erotically stimulating in people that are too similar to me...it's like I'm thinking something along the lines of - if I wanted another ENFJ, I'd look in the mirror  It might be easier to be with somebody my type, yes, but differences are always more interesting...not too many differences though, just enough to spice things up! Somebody that is similar to me in some ways but completely opposite in others (e.g.INFP) fits the bill perfectly :happy:


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## bluekitdon (Dec 19, 2012)

Values first as mentioned earlier. I think having someone exactly the same as you might exaggerate aspects of your personality, good and bad, as they get reinforced by the other person. On the other hand, being someone that never wants to go out while your partner always wants to go party, being neat while your partner is a slob, etc wears on you. So I don't know that there is an exact answer. Think about what bugged you in past relationships and write down what you want and need and look for someone like that.


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