# Seeing 20 somethings as childishly young



## Glenda Gnome Starr

You are right about the older people who act like zombies concerning their own health.
I am fortunate. My mother is not at all like that at the age of 90. When she was pregnant with her four daughters, she refused to take any medication at all, even though doctors encouraged her to do so. That was back in the 1950s, when very little was known about the effect of drugs on unborn babies.
My mom and I always read food labels. My theory about food is: if you can't pronounce the names of the ingredients, put that item back on the shelf! Better nutrition through chemistry is not a plan! 
I have learned, through two bouts of pneumonia and issues with cholesterol, that I have to take a leading role in ensuring my own health through diet and exercise. When I was little, many people believed that doctors were practically deities, that they could do no wrong. My mom never believed that, and she taught me a healthy skepticism.
You are never too young to take charge of your own health, as you have pointed out. Unfortunately, no one is too young to have serious health issues. 
And, you're absolutely right, there are a lot of problems with our food supply... environmental issues such as pollution and toxic waste and other issues, such as unnecessary growth hormones being fed to animals and genetically modified foods and other such stuff.
You have done sufficient research and no one has the right to assume ignorance on your part just because of your age. In my opinion, that is a form of prejudice.
walking tourist
p.s. I like your avatar. I too am a Doctor Who fan, and I really liked Tom Baker and his companions. Leela was one of my favorites!!!



LeelaWho said:


> I have a LOT of health problems. I'm very tired of older people who think they know everything because they've had a bypass surgery and pop a few pills for the diabetes/blood-pressure. They know nothing about health and only repeat "My doctor says...." like zombies who won't take the time to actually learn how their bodies work. They assume that I'm a hypochondriac moron who can't really be that sick just because I'm 20-something.
> 
> They're also less likely to read labels and analyze what they eat. They seem to be in complete denial about problems with our food supply and all the crap that gets put in our foods.
> 
> Several of my older family members and friends died because they treated their doctors like perfect little mini-gods. They didn't get second opinions, do any extra research, and they didn't listen to their bodies when the medication hurt them.
> 
> So, I'd rather be cynical and a bit narcissist. I do find the immaturity levels a bit annoying, but I'd seriously have that than the extreme naivete that my grandparents and parents have/had. If they get annoyed because I come off as a "know it all", it's usually because I DO KNOW more than they do because I take the time to research how my body works and what options I have with my health problems. They don't deserve my respect just because they're older.


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## Mind Swirl

natarichan said:


> I completely agree with the OP, times have changed and we 20 somethings are treated like we're still teenagers. Also maybe I'm hallucinating, but looking to pictures of 20+ people in the 60s and 70s they looked so much more mature than we do these days. I have friends two years younger than me who look like 12 year old kids and I don't look 25 at all either.
> So I don't know if it's the genes that changed first or social stereotypes or whatever else, but I feel that it's like everything moved a decade earlier. Like 30+ are the ones that are treated like 20+ etc.


Agreed, first off, that my grandparents looked much older when they were in their 20's. My grandma was 18 when she got married and she looked like today's 25-30 year-olds. 

There are few ideas I have about the age shift:

*Life expectancy:* People live longer. Each phase of life has been extended, so adolescence has been extended up to 30. People got married early in the 1800's; I believe their life expectancy was 40-50 if they were lucky. Today the expectancy is around 70-80. At 25, your life was more than half over in the 1800's. Twenty five today is 1/3 of your life. There may be a shift because of this. People see themselves as having more time to get things together. 

*Education/Job expectations:* My grandparents needed no education. They ended in high school. After that, they got married and few people went to college. These days, college is expected. Basically, add on 4-5 years of study or more, which is often extended adolescence because you are living in dorms; not starting a family and not always working a full time job (depending on the person). The job/career is postponed. 

*Parental Expectations:* I don't see as much expectation placed on 20-something to "grow up". My friend's parents put no pressure on them to get married or have kids. The Boomer parents I know seem to adopt the idea of "Be young and free while you can". 
I think this fits in with the OPs comment that people in their 20's aren't always expected to be full "adults" these days. 

*Economy:* It's hard to be stable with few jobs out there. Some live at home/dependent because they are unemployed or cannot make rent. 

Maybe all of these factors create an image of people in their 20's being younger than former generations.

Lastly, what does it mean to be mature these days? Everyone seems to have a different opinion. Does it mean you have kids? Good finances? A house? A career? Age? You know how to cook and change a light bulb? A certain view on life? Taking responsibility for actions?


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## LeelaWho

walking tourist said:


> You are right about the older people who act like zombies concerning their own health.
> I am fortunate. My mother is not at all like that at the age of 90. When she was pregnant with her four daughters, she refused to take any medication at all, even though doctors encouraged her to do so. That was back in the 1950s, when very little was known about the effect of drugs on unborn babies.
> My mom and I always read food labels. My theory about food is: if you can't pronounce the names of the ingredients, put that item back on the shelf! Better nutrition through chemistry is not a plan!
> I have learned, through two bouts of pneumonia and issues with cholesterol, that I have to take a leading role in ensuring my own health through diet and exercise. When I was little, many people believed that doctors were practically deities, that they could do no wrong. My mom never believed that, and she taught me a healthy skepticism.
> You are never too young to take charge of your own health, as you have pointed out. Unfortunately, no one is too young to have serious health issues.
> And, you're absolutely right, there are a lot of problems with our food supply... environmental issues such as pollution and toxic waste and other issues, such as unnecessary growth hormones being fed to animals and genetically modified foods and other such stuff.
> You have done sufficient research and no one has the right to assume ignorance on your part just because of your age. In my opinion, that is a form of prejudice.
> walking tourist
> p.s. I like your avatar. I too am a Doctor Who fan, and I really liked Tom Baker and his companions. Leela was one of my favorites!!!


That sounds like a great Mom!!! You're very fortunate. :happy:


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## CoopV

Well I'm 22.. damn I just realized my age reading that XD 

And anyways it should be your choice how old or young or whatever you want to be. I consider myself more mature in many ways than my peers yet I can be a bit of a teenager in some ways. 

I think the most ridiculous thing is to expect that just because you're a year older you are magically a mature, grown adult. That's like just because you turn 21 you're magically responsible enough to be able to drink responsibly. Or when you turn 16 you can magically drive responsibly. 

If it works for you then be whatever age you want. In my head sometimes I'm a kid and sometimes I'm in my 30s. When I work I am as mature and serious as a 30 something but when I go out to clubs I'm 16-18.


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## Glenda Gnome Starr

I wonder why it is that people are mature enough to go to war at the age of 18 but are not considered adult enough to buy and drink alcohol until they are 21. Is that supposed to make sense???


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## JungyesMBTIno

Wow, it's funny, because I'm not even a 20-something yet, and I never thought of them as anything but young...not childish, but not like 30+ year olds either...young enough to still obsess over their own youngness, if you know what I mean, lol...it almost just seems to depend on their appearance to me (same goes with teenagers - some I know from high school look like they're in their mid-20s and have since they were 12, while others, like myself, have been told that they literally look like 12 year olds - in my case, it's true, LOL - I was recently comparing my appearance to that of some random 12 year old in a store, and yes, I really did look as young as her facially O.O).


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## Glenda Gnome Starr

I got into movie theaters for under twelve until I was twenty-five, lol.



JungyesMBTIno said:


> Wow, it's funny, because I'm not even a 20-something yet, and I never thought of them as anything but young...not childish, but not like 30+ year olds either...young enough to still obsess over their own youngness, if you know what I mean, lol...it almost just seems to depend on their appearance to me (same goes with teenagers - some I know from high school look like they're in their mid-20s and have since they were 12, while others, like myself, have been told that they literally look like 12 year olds - in my case, it's true, LOL - I was recently comparing my appearance to that of some random 12 year old in a store, and yes, I really did look as young as her facially O.O).


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## JungyesMBTIno

> I got into movie theaters for under twelve until I was twenty-five, lol.


LOL. No way! You didn't even look like a teenager at 25? That's amazing. XD


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## Glenda Gnome Starr

It helped that I was a short, skinny little runt. That made me look very young. I was barely five feet tall and I weighed under ninety pounds. 



JungyesMBTIno said:


> LOL. No way! You didn't even look like a teenager at 25? That's amazing. XD


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## JungyesMBTIno

Come to think of it, I find it rather hilarious when 20-somethings pretend to be super mature suddenly - kind of like the way teenagers do when they turn 13 and act like they're all grown up and entitled to be treated like they're special...gimme' a break. Nothing wrong with _true_ maturity, but seriously, a lot I know are actually extremely immature, because they have to pretend to be mature and act all pretentious and in-your-face about it, the same way I see 13 year olds (or younger) act (keep in mind I'm mainly talking about girls here). If you feel the need to keep informing someone of your own maturity, then you're probably not a mature person. If it were so obvious, why feel the need to reassure others so often...


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## JungyesMBTIno

Also, I think people are just beginning to "see the light" really in viewing 20-somethings as younger than they used to. I mean, what's the point of adolescence if you're suddenly expected to change after it (like, oh my, someone transitions from 19 to 20 overnight - adolescence suddenly disappears and the person is some higher form of perfection - give me a break). I thought "adolescence" was stereotypically supposed to be the time of great change, not the time when you don't change, but suddenly, when the numerology changes, your forced to change (teens to 20s). Something's way off about that perception imo. If most adolescents don't really experience much as adolescents, why are they expected to change? Back in the day, marrying at 14 was quite a feasible prospect. People had to grow up earlier - and they did without any major issue so far as I know from researching those times...the perceptions are all just societal expectations, and I think people are just beginning to see through them more as a lot become less necessary.


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## OrangeAppled

Mind Swirl said:


> *Economy:* It's hard to be stable with few jobs out there. Some live at home/dependent because they are unemployed or cannot make rent.


I see this as a big factor in the criticism towards Gen Y (people in their 20s now). I think many people in their 20s are frustrated by the limited options out there for them. They want to work & earn things (not be handed anything, despite what may say about GenY being entitled) & be independent, but it's like there's not enough to go around right now. To not see any fruits of your efforts is frustrating. Which leads to next development I'm seeing: rejection of the old system.

There's a rejection that being an adult & being happy means a career & a house (or living alone or w/peers & not family). People are calling this a return to traditionalism - living with the family into adulthood, making family & personal life a priority over career, & small business entrepreneurship over corporate jobs. Instead of being praised for questioning the status quo & creating another route, GenY is criticized as being self-absorbed (wanting fulfilling work & a personal life- gasp!) & entitled (leaning on family until they can establish themselves independently in the way they want). The reality is that there is a generation gap when it comes to values. 

Every generation gets this sort of criticism while in their 20s.... the older generations always gripe about the younger ones.


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## CoopV

OrangeAppled said:


> I see this as a big factor in the criticism towards Gen Y (people in their 20s now). I think many people in their 20s are frustrated by the limited options out there for them. They want to work & earn things (not be handed anything, despite what may say about GenY being entitled) & be independent, but it's like there's not enough to go around right now. To not see any fruits of your efforts is frustrating. Which leads to next development I'm seeing: rejection of the old system.
> 
> There's a rejection that being an adult & being happy means a career & a house (or living alone or w/peers & not family). People are calling this a return to traditionalism - living with the family into adulthood, making family & personal life a priority over career, & small business entrepreneurship over corporate jobs. Instead of being praised for questioning the status quo & creating another route, GenY is criticized as being self-absorbed (wanting fulfilling work & a personal life- gasp!) & entitled (leaning on family until they can establish themselves independently in the way they want). The reality is that there is a generation gap when it comes to values.
> 
> Every generation gets this sort of criticism while in their 20s.... the older generations always gripe about the younger ones.


I love what you just said. This sums me up perfectly. I hope my generation can change the system then. From what you're saying I think we will demand the system be changed. And really I much prefer all these values we have over a career. I'm working to have both but well you can't always have it all I guess.


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## prplchknz

I'm 25 but look 18, and get asked when i'm going to graduate highschool. I have't been in highschool for 5 years. It's annoying but i do look and act young for my age. i've always looked younger than I am, for the longest time I looked 12 than i took up smoking, and added a few years on to my appearance. probably not a good reason to start smoking, but looking older was one. i keep my expired id on me as well as my valid id so if anyone's like that's fake i can pull out the old one and be like nope. I get carded for everything, and I know people who are 23 and don't get carded at all.


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## iinnffpp

The older generations have to understand that it's more difficult than ever to make a real living-wage income in your twenties. To get a job or career that will give you true independence is not as easy as it was when they were "kids". It's not a coincidence that as the economics get shittier for the 20-somethings, their social status also slides into the more "infantile" stage.

So before you point fingers please put yourselves in our shoes. What the elderly took for granted we cannot.


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## JungyesMBTIno

At this point, I think it depends a lot on what is defined as "childish" - does society view teenagers as "childishly young?" Is the idea of 20 somethings living with their parents into their late 20s what makes them seem "childishly young?" Personally, I don't think so - I think this might be something of an illusion brought on by how pointless childhood has become these days, based on how poor use parents make of it for their kids (the being your kids' best buddy mentality you get with parents these days). I'm not sure what the OP has in mind - the depiction of 20-somethings on television or some real life observation...


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## Tasnia

Silt said:


> Again, just to clarify that the OP is less about your actual age than how that age is perceived. For example, I don't know why it's important or necessary to feel "young" to enjoy my life and age. I am not cool or hip and don't want to be. I'd rather enjoy my age whatever it is, however I feel comfortable doing so. Insisting that a particular demographic conform to a particular view of what it means to be younger or older is annoying. People need to define age for themselves, not for everyone else.


20 something year olds are all different. Some are immature, some are not. You can't look at 20 somthings, 30 somthings etc. as one group. Some people will be immature all of their life. People of all ages are of different types. We all should know this better than others. The SPs in their 20's may party, party, party. And there are a lot of them. They did that in the 50's, the 60's, the 70's...it's their nature. The SJs were responsible and mature and did so in their 20's, etc. You really can't peg anything on an age. But you can peg a few things on type. But just a few.

It's not necessary to feel young to enjoy your age.Some types or individuals may want eternal youth. As an INFP, I strive for meaning in life. I am far from hedenistic. I have always hung around people much older than I and away from those party animals, whatever their age. I don't think your age defines you as much as type does.


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## Sonne

I think feeling older is a personal thing. It's not a matter of life experience, or only talking with people who are older, or trying to be or appear older or more mature. 

I just feel older just because I do, a feeling only I can define for myself. Someone will always see youth, if you look young. They don't know you the person until they get to know you. Very few today take the time to get to know someone because they assume they already know who that person is based on looks, appearance, or demeanor. They miss out on getting to know someone really amazing.


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## Steel Magnolia

LeelaWho said:


> I have a LOT of health problems. I'm very tired of older people who think they know everything because they've had a bypass surgery and pop a few pills for the diabetes/blood-pressure. They know nothing about health and only repeat "My doctor says...." like zombies who won't take the time to actually learn how their bodies work. They assume that I'm a hypochondriac moron who can't really be that sick just because I'm 20-something.
> 
> They're also less likely to read labels and analyze what they eat. They seem to be in complete denial about problems with our food supply and all the crap that gets put in our foods.
> 
> Several of my older family members and friends died because they treated their doctors like perfect little mini-gods. They didn't get second opinions, do any extra research, and they didn't listen to their bodies when the medication hurt them.
> 
> So, I'd rather be cynical and a bit narcissist. I do find the immaturity levels a bit annoying, but I'd seriously have that than the extreme naivete that my grandparents and parents have/had. If they get annoyed because I come off as a "know it all", it's usually because I DO KNOW more than they do because I take the time to research how my body works and what options I have with my health problems. They don't deserve my respect just because they're older.


I can relate to this. I've been sick since I was 25 (now 30). MDs that I have encountered have been very ageist towards me. And my mother said, "When you get older, you'll know what physical pain is like." Well, I didn't have that luxury.  And, I believe my local pain clinic denied me pain control- in part- because I am under 40. If you're under 40-45, it can be tough to get pain meds (or sufficient doses of them). No age group has a monopoly on sickness or wellness.

Whatever you have, I hope you can overcome (or successfully control) your health condition(s). Best wishes.


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## Glenda Gnome Starr

I've never had a real living wage income in my life. These days, it's hard to get a decent job that pays well. Too many businesses are treating employees as disposable, which is a big problem. Starting your career in these times is, for sure, a nightmare. I hope that's not encouraging more 20-somethings to go into the military and get sent off to war. 




iinnffpp said:


> The older generations have to understand that it's more difficult than ever to make a real living-wage income in your twenties. To get a job or career that will give you true independence is not as easy as it was when they were "kids". It's not a coincidence that as the economics get shittier for the 20-somethings, their social status also slides into the more "infantile" stage.
> 
> So before you point fingers please put yourselves in our shoes. What the elderly took for granted we cannot.


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## Glenda Gnome Starr

Oh my gosh! That is terrible. There is no excuse for doctors behaving that way and showing that sort of attitude. That also was a very insensitive sort of thing for your mother to say.
Hugs and best wishes to you.




LittleB81 said:


> I can relate to this. I've been sick since I was 25 (now 30). MDs that I have encountered have been very ageist towards me. And my mother said, "When you get older, you'll know what physical pain is like." Well, I didn't have that luxury.  And, I believe my local pain clinic denied me pain control- in part- because I am under 40. If you're under 40-45, it can be tough to get pain meds (or sufficient doses of them). No age group has a monopoly on sickness or wellness.
> 
> Whatever you have, I hope you can overcome (or successfully control) your health condition(s). Best wishes.


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## Steel Magnolia

walking tourist said:


> I've never had a real living wage income in my life. These days, it's hard to get a decent job that pays well. Too many businesses are treating employees as disposable, which is a big problem. Starting your career in these times is, for sure, a nightmare. I hope that's not encouraging more 20-somethings to go into the military and get sent off to war.


It's even harder when sick. But for me, staying at home is making me more sick. I cannot find work- nobody even contacts me. And the last interview I got, I was *so sure* I'd get the job. And I didn't. But that may be a good thing, because that workplace is extremely dysfunctional. First interviewer told me 5 times in 3 minutes: "I think you should consider a different job." I pushed on. She said, "Okay, well, I still don't think you should take the job, but it would be fair to grant you the second interview". I got the second interview- it went really well. Ten days later, what do I get? A rejection letter! And that hurt, because I was extremely qualified.

So now, the plan is to go back to school. I want to be a legal assistant. And that job, unlike the one I recently got rejected for, is one that I would really enjoy (and I think the field suits me, based on me research and interaction with various schools). Hope my disability doesn't screw this up for me.


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## Steel Magnolia

walking tourist said:


> Oh my gosh! That is terrible. There is no excuse for doctors behaving that way and showing that sort of attitude. That also was a very insensitive sort of thing for your mother to say.
> Hugs and best wishes to you.



Yeah, I filed a complaint against the clinic. No disciplinary action whatsoever against the staff. Dumbass administrator basically presented me with a "He said-She said" scenario. I know the real truth, though. You cannot, cannot recover your health with such "doctors". They are sabotaging patients when they repeatedly tell them that they will *never* get well (as I have been), and when they refuse to provide them medical care.


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## LeelaWho

LittleB81 said:


> I can relate to this. I've been sick since I was 25 (now 30). MDs that I have encountered have been very ageist towards me. And my mother said, "When you get older, you'll know what physical pain is like." Well, I didn't have that luxury.  And, I believe my local pain clinic denied me pain control- in part- because I am under 40. If you're under 40-45, it can be tough to get pain meds (or sufficient doses of them). No age group has a monopoly on sickness or wellness.
> 
> Whatever you have, I hope you can overcome (or successfully control) your health condition(s). Best wishes.


Thank you. I hope that you can find out what's wrong and overcome crap moron doctors too. 

(((Hugs)))


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## Steel Magnolia

LeelaWho said:


> Thank you. I hope that you can find out what's wrong and overcome crap moron doctors too.
> 
> (((Hugs)))


I know what's wrong with me, but I'm hard to treat, so the jerk MDs basically write me off as "unhelpable". I bet, if I hadn't had so many negative messages thrown my way from these subhumans, I probably would have responded better to treatment. Mind and body are definitely connected, and those who are emotionally sensitive (like me) seem to end up in worse pain, if they have chronic pain, when they are upset (I certainly do). Again- if you tell your patient the same disaster scenario over and over again, then the risk of a self-fulfilling prophecy occurring is extremely high. Even with the severe doctor shortage in Canada, if a doctor *refuses* to help you, you are better off dumping them. I think it can be worse to have an uncaring doctor who won't treat you, than to have no doctor at all for a while during the search (and it's a long one, here). At least without the unhelpful MD, you won't be getting upset all the time, and stress management is important for pain control, imo.

((((Hugs)))) back.


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## Noctis

I cannot completely say that I am the most mature, but I do think that 20 somethings in the mainstream culture are too dependent on the media, and stereotypically are much more brash in their style of clothing, and mannerisms, and there is little individuality in what men and women should wear, hairstyles, and attitudes in the mainstream culture of people in their early 20s.


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## bjoh249

I guess it is just that the lifespans have gone up vs 30 or so years ago. People are younger at 20 than they were 50 years ago. Same with 30s. Before long 30 somethings will be acting like 20 year olds are acting. It all comes down to maturity with living longer than previous generations.


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## ibage

prplchknz said:


> I'm 25 but look 18, and get asked when i'm going to graduate highschool. I have't been in highschool for 5 years. It's annoying but i do look and act young for my age. i've always looked younger than I am, for the longest time I looked 12 than i took up smoking, and added a few years on to my appearance. probably not a good reason to start smoking, but looking older was one. i keep my expired id on me as well as my valid id so if anyone's like that's fake i can pull out the old one and be like nope. I get carded for everything, and I know people who are 23 and don't get carded at all.


Oh man, I feel your pain. I'm 24 and I look 16 spare for standing at 6'2. If only I could grow a beard, that'd show them! I've always acted about ten years older than I actually was though. I never liked being treated like a kid and I can't help but feel this is some iteration of hell because I'll always seem to look like one...


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## castigat

KaylRyck said:


> Fascinating.
> 
> I'm 20, and feel as if I'm entering adulthood, but the longer I am in my third decade, the more my eyes are opening to the childishness of young adulthood. Once, I had a bit of respect for them, simply because of their age seniority. Now I'm not so sure.
> 
> Coincidentally, right now on the radio = I'm hearing the song "Highschool Never Ends".


Ironic song.

However, essentially the above, but I have to add that fifty-year-olds probably think of thirty-somethings as childish too, you know.


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## Glenda Gnome Starr

Nope, not at all. Most thirty-somethings are far more mature than I am now.
Sigh.
My maturity program came without a start button.
And now, at my greatly advanced age, I can't replace it. The warranty has expired.
:crazy:



Iseoxe said:


> Ironic song.
> 
> However, essentially the above, but I have to add that fifty-year-olds probably think of thirty-somethings as childish too, you know.


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## Boolean11

I look down on most people nowadays especially those my age, I don't why but there is just something wrong with a lot of folks.


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## StElmosDream

Boolean11 said:


> I look down on most people nowadays especially those my age, I don't why but there is just something wrong with a lot of folks.


I think so too (just too much dislike for 18-30 party 'lifestyles' on my part); its as if some people have no responsibilities besides working or paying rent with any job, while true maturity or real life issues have become trivialised by a 'live fast, die young' attitude that sets some apart as outcasts for being raised with 'old common sense values and principles' of mutual/professional courtesy level respect for your fellow man. 

What's one to do or say though, when every generation sees itself as more capable or mature than the last* ?


*(I've always felt 5-15 years more mature than most 20-something's but society disagrees or says that qualifications outdo life awareness or intangible skills - just because its not the norm to mature faster than some people in the 30-40 range)


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## 39471

KaylRyck said:


> Fascinating.
> 
> I'm 20, and feel as if I'm entering adulthood, but the longer I am in my third decade, the more my eyes are opening to the childishness of young adulthood. Once, I had a bit of respect for them, simply because of their age seniority. Now I'm not so sure.
> 
> Coincidentally, right now on the radio = I'm hearing the song "Highschool Never Ends".


I think people in their 20s are appreciating the idea of being youthful, not that they want to remain foolish youngsters. Life is too short to be stuck on "growing up" in ways that make people feel their lives are boring and meaningless. It could be a result of a more immature era, but it's also an new era that has come out of previous eras of human history. So there is a consequential reason why people live in this way and not in the way of previous generations.


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## Shinji Mimura

Here's my 22 year-old perspective...

For me, 22 is really a coming-of-age year. 18-21 were rather party/free years (by free, I just mean without too much seriousness). However, 22 is that year where many people graduate with bachelor's degrees, or when people like myself don't quite have bachelor's due to various circumstances, but aren't too far from their goal, and thus need to start buckling down and becoming more serious. So, now, while I have no regrets about my younger years, nor do I view myself as some crotchety old man, I'm definitely at a point now where I'm primping myself for the "adult life" that I'm about to incur.

...however, I know I am not a majority. I spent all of high school being unlike the rest. Instead of partying, doing stupid things, worrying more about my social status, relationships, and the other lot of stereotypical behaviors high schoolers get involved with, I was more concerned about maturity, personal discovery, growth, experience, learning, things that would overall add to my being.

So, by the time I was 18, I was already more than ready for adults. However, my college freshmen weren't on my level. They had spent their high school years being immature, and most of them expected to just drag their immaturities with them to college and infect the waters.

The problem is that while freshman year does tend to weed-out the non-serious from the serious, you can be a passing student and still be grossly immature and childish.

That said, I'm far enough in college now where all my classes henceforth will be upper-divisions with prerequisites, so my expectations are higher. But...I know enough about people to know this is more wishful thinking than anything else.

Having said that, I honestly think it's foolish to give credibility to beginning 20 year-olds. I mean, I am indeed including 18 and 19 year-olds in the equation, even though they aren't 20s, simply because they are the most common entrance age for college students.

I would like to think that by your early 20s you've grown into somebody prepared for responsibility, education, so on and so forth, but I know this just isn't always the case. A great many people acknowledge that they AREN'T in college for learning, but rather for a degree that will get them a job. They will be a straight C student if that is all that's demanded of them.

In short, they aren't out to treat life seriously, so why are we to treat them seriously?


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## Caterell

Hehe. I'm 17, and I was thinking: "Yes!! When I get to uni next year, everyone will be older and more mature, and more civilised." Then I stayed in one of the halls of residence over the summer, and saw the graffiti all over the walls... on the desks... in the cupboards... and I saw the state of the kitchen and the sink and everyone's stuff everywhere, and I realised, actually, maturity levels don't really go up that fast, do they?  It was just like being in the school hostel, but people had more freedom lol.


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## tanstaafl28

Cedar said:


> I've noticed that in the last two or three decades, there is a tendency to see twenty somethings as younger and younger, at an almost childish level. There is a need to reduce this age group to infantile status. This is strange to me because growing up, a lot was expected of us, and once we were in our teens, we were treated as adults, with high expectations of responsibility and maturity, which today seems almost non existence today. By the age of 21, you were considered and treated like grown adults. Today, in this culture, it seems 20 somethings are treated, expected to behave, or act like immature adolescents who are expected to be irresponsible and immature until they reach the age of 30. I'm over 30 but it seems you spend most of your 20s being expected to reflect what the society or culture feels is typical 20-something behavior even if you never fit.
> 
> I mean, self fulfilling prophecy much? If you keep expecting and treating a group in a particular way, are they just going to fulfill those expectations in the end?
> 
> Thoughts?


At 42, I know just how childish and stupid I was in my 20's.


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## CoopV

I feel like both a child and old/mature and I'm 23. I don't know what to say...

I'm more mature than alot of people I see older than me yet I look and sometimes feel like a teen. I don't know how to explain it lol it's a paradox. 

I'd say my generation acts more mature than those that were our age in the 90s. Mostly because after this economy tanked our parents suddenly slapped us in the face with "ok you have to grow up overnight and go get a full-time job (which finding one is a full-time job) and move out and follow politics because the world's ending."

Anyways maybe some other people my age have parents that can support them while they can keep acting like teenagers but in my case both my parents moved into their siblings homes because of finances and now I'm all on my own. I spent the past year applying and interviewing and having the world grind me into pulp. Tried twice to relocate only to have everything I did fail. And now that I finally got a job I work night shift and have no time for anything or anyone.

My life is essentially living on my own, work, sleep, and nothing more. So no I don't consider myself immature. But I see kids my age who's parents still have a home and they basically work part time (if they find anything), live with their parents, don't pay for anything, and party with their high school friends when they have time. 

And yea a part of me wants to act like a damn child sometimes because reality has become so drastically different from the life my generation both had and was promised.


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## Death Persuades

I'm 21 and I sometimes act childish. I choose to do so, though... It's not that I don't have a choice, but after a long, stressful day... Nothing beats acting like a kid to unload all that stress. I don't go around braking laws and picking fights, though... Mostly, I just watch cartoons and eat junk food and disagree with people online.


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## kryten5786

Remember that the term and class "teenager" is new to mankind only arriving with the onset of the babyboomers. Each generation after the next tweaks life stages to match the era. I'm 26, have seen war, come home and started my own company, own my own home and all that "adult stuff" but 50% of my friends still live at home, play videogames,(I still enjoy them too) dress like their still in high school( a major reason most of the girls I'm friends with date men old enough to be their father.... That's another generational topic for another time) but given the nature of society where everyone is trying to be young again spearheaded by the boomer mixed with a pampered childhood during the most prosperous peace time in american history (the 90's) you can't really blame them for being slackers add to that the minor depression that we're in and its only year 4 of a 10 year deleverage cycle that happens to every country in history that suffers a financial crisis. Yes 20's today is treated like you are a middle schooler but what do you expect when we have media ad's pushing the fact that 50 is the new 20? And that the world as we(all of us)know it has catered to the boomer since birth and 95% of the media is produced by them..... You think their gonna go away with out "shitting on" everyone else lol. By the end of this decade, by sheer numbers we'll be in charge (wait till you see congress go from ave age 67 to ave age mid 40's lol) and it won't the moron 20 something's sitting at the adult table. Yes I wear a "animal" from "the muppets" tee shirt and I like to drink a tall glass of cold chocolate milk on a Saturday morning while i watch cartoons and read the newspaper (on my tablet) but that same person also dresses in a suit, employs nearly 200 people and takes his job and the wellbeing of his workers very seriously. That's not the case with all 20somethings but a quiet a few. So..... Yes adolescences seems to be extended but our lifespan also increased 20years. Its all about the times you live in... And since I believe in historical cycles.. Let the child like 20somethings enjoy their time now cause we're gonna have a "all hands on deck" moment as a nation (maybe world?) and their extended teen years will be "checked" by life events. I truly believe that when our generation will prove itself. Many will learn that mom and dad won't be there to bail them out.... They will be mom or dad.


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## Younique

The more that time passes, the older you'll see immaturity settle in.
It's not getting any better, and it won't as long as mothers continue to resent their ignorant choice of raising children so early on in their lives when they're anything less then mentally ready and physically prepared..


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## Toru Okada

I'm 22 and still live at home, working on an associates degree, never owned a vehicle, I've held one job for about 5 years but I'm currently jobless. I definitely feel some shame for not being on par with what's generally expected by 22, but I also feel like I've matured a lot since 18 (mentally). It's mainly the lack of merit that worries me. I don't think anyone sees you as an adult til you're independent.


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## Bardo

As above, so below.

People's minds are a mess right now, which goes hand in hand with the change in the world. 20 somethings have less stability and measurable achievement than earlier people but more potential. 
With the internet you can have stoner layabouts who know stuff about quantum physics, the intricacies of obscure nations histories, health, science...what our parents and grandparents had growing up was like a 100th of what we have access to. 

True most choose to use that resource to drown in the concentrated trivia but there are a lot more brains ticking over than ever before, in ways far more diverse than what people had before. What that will mean when it's our turn to steer the world is anyone's guess, my guess is it's going to be crazy.


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## Eos_Machai

Cedar said:


> Thoughts?


Perhaps many of their parents felt bad about their own childhood because it was all authoritarian rules, choirs and duties and no fun. And since humans have a tendency to polar thinking they got it into their minds that their job as parents was to do the exact opposite: giving power to the children and assuming a supporting role oriented towards maximising the pleasure and minimising the pain for them. Happy kids became the ideal and the evidence of good parenthood. And that is understandable but stupid and destructive.


I believe that parents must be authorities to kids younger than 10-11, but personal authorities and that their primary job should be to get to know and understand their children as well as possible. And love, respect and support their growth as unique individuals. 
I also believe that children at the age of 10-11 are (or rather should be) capable of taking full responsibility of their lives. Fully capable of making descisions and choices. Fully capable of caring for their everyday life, cooking food etc. That there's non-retarded 25 years old that can't manage this today is quite sad.


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## skycloud86

As a 26 year I do find that people still see me as younger than I feel, act or am, although this may be due to both looking a few years younger than I am and being rather quiet.


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## Bardo

Just had a thought - if 20 somethings have had their progress capped by the way things are, what are the young kids going to be like when they get older?

Don't know about the U.S but here in Britain we've got some kids turning up for school at 3 years old not knowing their names, let alone how to count or spell anything. I was done with talking when I was like 2.

A woman I know works at a nursery and has confirmed for me a lot of the things I've read in the papers.

Some of these stunted kids can use the internet already and navigate smartphone menus.


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## Doll

People always think I'm in my early 20s, though based on looks - not behavior.


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