# NF: I told my friend i was tired of him and needed a break



## gvsunde (Nov 14, 2008)

Once in High school when i was 17 i was living in an apartment with two other dudes.. one was probably ISTJ and the orher was probably a ENFJ

I told my ENFJ friend i was tired of him and needed a break...

i told my family (ENTJs) this and they were angry at me.. 

im i a bad person?


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## starri (Jan 23, 2009)

Yes. Go make up with him.:bored:

I have that feeling around alot of people, and alot are close. I suggest you take diplomatic talk lessons.


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## Viktoria2 (Feb 15, 2009)

starrynights said:


> Yes. Go make up with him.:bored:
> 
> I have that feeling around alot of people, and alot are close. I suggest you take diplomatic talk lessons.


No, it doesn't make him a bad person at all, starry.
It just depends on the reason why he decided to tell his friend they weren't friends anymore. 
Maybe they got into a fight, or he was doing something that was morally wrong. 

What happened that you told him that anyway? surely there's some sort of a reason.


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## starri (Jan 23, 2009)

Viktoria said:


> No, it doesn't make him a bad person at all, starry.
> It just depends on the reason why he decided to tell his friend they weren't friends anymore.
> Maybe they got into a fight, or he was doing something that was morally wrong.
> 
> What happened that you told him that anyway? surely there's some sort of a reason.


Ok, I'll humor you. Let's have the reason.


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## Happy (Oct 10, 2008)

Yes. Please state the reason so we can evaluate the situation.


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## gvsunde (Nov 14, 2008)

*reason*

me being an introvert and at the time struggeling with low self-esteem, i never dared to tell him i needed space. the problem was nothing more than that i was "tired of his extroverted babbling" - to say it in a bad way..

i just had no place to recharge my batteries at the time, so i just nodded to all he said and felt that i was very drained. till i one day told him i think we could have a temporary break in our friendship.. it was a stupid way to tell him.. i didnt know myself at the time and i have always been a strange person in social settings..

he didnt do anything wrong.. he is just very extroverted.. and i am very introverted.. 
the reason for me reacting to him like this was that i was not the type to tell him i needed space, and it all came out in an implosive way.

btw this is 4 years ago and we have moved to different univerities.. we dont keep touch.


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## Viktoria2 (Feb 15, 2009)

gvsunde said:


> me being an introvert and at the time struggeling with low self-esteem, i never dared to tell him i needed space. the problem was nothing more than that i was "tired of his extroverted babbling" - to say it in a bad way..
> 
> i just had no place to recharge my batteries at the time, so i just nodded to all he said and felt that i was very drained. till i one day told him i think we could have a temporary break in our friendship.. it was a stupid way to tell him.. i didnt know myself at the time and i have always been a strange person in social settings..
> 
> ...



Hmm...its probably a good idea to try to get back in touch in with him and tell him your sorry. Explain that you didn't know yourself too well. He'd probably understand, and if not, at least you can say you tried.

and i understand, us extroverts can be very overbearing sometimes.


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## starri (Jan 23, 2009)

Viktoria said:


> Hmm...its probably a good idea to try to get back in touch in with him and tell him your sorry. Explain that you didn't know yourself too well. He'd probably understand, and if not, at least you can say you tried.
> 
> and i understand, us extroverts can be very overbearing sometimes.


thankyou for acknowledging i was right :tongue:

and as for gvsunde, the reason im suggesting you contact him is that if you dont you will live with this, eating at u , forever. it will eat ur soul! see its been 3 yrs and u still think about it and seek advice. whatever confrontation occurs, even if he threw pebbles at you, it will relieve you.


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## εmptε (Nov 20, 2008)

*I think you're an idiot, but If it was me I still wouldn't say I'm sorry. Anyway, from what I can tell you were just being an INFP. Thus no need to say sorry. :happy:*


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## de l'eau salée (Nov 10, 2008)

BadWolf said:


> * Anyway, from what I can tell you were just being an INFP. Thus no need to say sorry. :happy:*


Explain yourself.


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## Dr. Metallic (Nov 15, 2008)

It's healthy to express what we need. But when with our friends, we need to approach potentially sensitive topics with what is appropriate and kind in that particular relationship.

An apology is probably not necessary. Getting back in touch (if you still like this guy) is.


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## monk (Feb 6, 2009)

I am doing this all the time though sometimes it's difficult to never see a person again. it's liberating, or maybe it's just walking away from problems.


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## Decon (Dec 9, 2008)

My thinking is now look at how you could've improved that communication, and then apply what you learned to the same situation the next time it comes up.


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## matilda (May 21, 2009)

What Wolfe said. 

I can totally relate. But in my experience, I just kept quiet. I cut him off slowly, gradually. Yes, I am a bad person. 

Now before you go telling me off, I would just like to say, that in my defense, I _suffered_ while I was in that friendship. We just weren't in the same wavelength anymore. Selfish? I honestly thought so, yes. But I was done playing martyr. I needed to stand up for myself a little more, I realized. I felt guilty for a while, but then I learned to let it go.


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

I don't know..... Are you a bad person for saying that? 

You shouldn't ask others. You know if you shouldn't have done that or not. We don't have your psyche. We don't know your situation. We don't know that enfj. We don't know those entjs. Our inner compasses aren't pointing in the same direction. Follow your path not anyone elses.


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## NephilimAzrael (Oct 26, 2008)

This thread is dead, gvsunde has not been on for a very very long time (relative to this forums age)..


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## Kevinaswell (May 6, 2009)

I've totally told friends they need to peace out and I'm sick of them.

It's a necessary evil people gotta do sometimes. For the good of everyone.


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