# Number of personal interactions on PerC /total posts and Fi



## Mr inappropriate (Dec 17, 2013)

Now it may sound crazy but I was really surprised to notice people with a rather high number of posts here DO have regular skype etc interactions with others and actually made friends here. I did connect it to Fi, not necessarily valuing but the dimension of it. Its how Fi, in Socionics, is associated with ability make friends easily for Fi-creatives especially. Maybe, its me having selective bias but the example of people I checked seem to fit this pattern so far, higher the Fi, higher the number of friends(Except ENTPs for some reason). I also see this place a very good simulation of my IRL in terms of socialization.

Any ideas, what do you think ?


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## Felipe (Feb 25, 2016)

Hmm, could be. But I always associated making friends easily with Fe.


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## Korra (Feb 28, 2015)

I had gotten involved in a Skype group chat a few months back, but it has since died out. I'm rather skimpy on the personal interactions with individual members; I'm really bad at it. I'm more at ease within the actual forum where multiple members can contribute to discussion vs me going one-on-one with someone.


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## counterintuitive (Apr 8, 2011)

I have a lot of forum buddies. I don't know about "friends" per se, but I definitely have forum buddies who I chat with on here via VM/PM and just around the forum who I look forward to talking to again.

It's similar to IRL for me too actually. IRL I have lots of casual acquaintences/friends who I see often enough (1-2x per week) in a group setting and I look forward to talking to them again.

In both cases (IRL and here) it's a rather superficial interaction and I don't intend to get to know the person "deeply" or whatever, it's just an interaction that I find fun/interesting/informative/etc. It's also often in a group setting IRL - I do better in groups than 1-on-1, which I've seen associated with extraversion and with Fe>Fi too.

I do think it's an Fe thing for me lol. Extraversion (associated with initiating rather than responding) + valued Fe is a pretty good friend-making combo, lol, Fi's assistance is not needed.  I would think xLEs (1D Fi) would have no particular trouble making friends, at least casual acquaintence-ish friendships (which are all I have tbh lol, even IRL).

I'm not in any Skype groups though, I just chat on the forum itself.


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## bleghc (Jan 2, 2015)

Yeah. I've been in and out of PerC Skype groups and currently staying in one. When it comes to my interactions with some of the members, like @Korra said, I prefer being in a group over individual setting. The latter, I find is generally more awkward and uncomfortable... especially if it's a member I've never talked to prior or a member I've seen here and there but never approached. Less awkward in a group setting because people have the option of choosing whether they can respond to some of my comments and I wouldn't know, haha. 

I don't necessarily believe functions are related to whether or not we join a Skype group. Some people might have just interacted very well with some of the members and decided they might've wanted to take that to a more personal level.


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## Vermillion (Jan 22, 2012)

Don't know about this. Anyone would agree I got super high Fi, but I typically have a very sparse number of friends, both online and offline. If there's a trend in this direction, then I'm not a part of it.


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## Graveyard (Oct 23, 2015)

Ah, well, recently I've been talking a lot with @myst91 and hell is she interesting! 

But other than that, I haven't made many friends here. @counterintuitive is another one I talk to regularly.

And I'm sure I have a 4D Fi to combo with 3D Fe, so I don't think high ethics (overall) are related to the amount of friends you have. It depends on other factors. Making friends easily is a skill, rather.


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## Jeremy8419 (Mar 2, 2015)

Think you may be missing something from the equation. People with excessive amounts of time on here are generally people who want to make friends but have difficulties so they seek social interaction online as a replacement for actual social interactions. The Catch 22 is that if there aren't people who are _not_ like this, who are specifically trying to help such people, present then it becomes a scenario of a vicious cycle of reaffirming maladaptive and antisocial behavior. E.g., two people who have social issues that prevent healthy relationships irl interacting online and convincing each other that their social issues are "good" qualities of theirs.


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Jeremy8419 said:


> Think you may be missing something from the equation. People with excessive amounts of time on here are generally people who want to make friends but have difficulties so they seek social interaction online as a replacement for actual social interactions. The Catch 22 is that if there aren't people who are _not_ like this, who are specifically trying to help such people, present then it becomes a scenario of a vicious cycle of reaffirming maladaptive and antisocial behavior. E.g., two people who have social issues that prevent healthy relationships irl interacting online and convincing each other that their social issues are "good" qualities of theirs.


What does that make you with 3k posts on this place in about 9 months (excluding 3 month ban time)?


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## Jeremy8419 (Mar 2, 2015)

Felipe said:


> Hmm, could be. But I always associated making friends easily with Fe.


Partially accurate. Fe would be the act of making friends, as emotiveness is used as a signaler for continuing interactions or not. Fi would be the underlying understanding of "friends."

For EII/ESI (in context of society at large) have full conscious understanding of relationships, and, as such, use restriction of Fe in favor of what is practical. For myself, I cannot possibly maintain all the relationships that I am easily capable of forming, because I simply don't have time to talk to hundreds to so many people (Fe blocked with Ni). For ESI it would probably be due to Fe blocked with Si, not being practical to make such large social group get along.


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## Jeremy8419 (Mar 2, 2015)

Entropic said:


> What does that make you with 3k posts on this place in about 9 months (excluding 3 month ban time)?


Bored at work, consciously aware of the problem on here, and a nature of helping others. I've stated numerous times that I would prefer y'all get offline and go work on relationships irl. What is being discussed in this thread as being "good at relationships" is beyond unhealthy.


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## soseductive (Jan 5, 2016)

I don't really have a lot of friends. Every time i make friends (especially on forums) i feel like we are not close enough, our relationships are empty and i need to do something about it. When i feel like that i am "attacking" them in some way to clarify our feelings towards each other, but they usually just ran away and i left sitting all alone. I wish i had friends that would have balls to be my friends :crying:


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## Jeremy8419 (Mar 2, 2015)

soseductive said:


> I don't really have a lot of friends. Every time i make friends (especially on forums) i feel like we are not close enough, our relationships are empty and i need to do something about it. When i feel like that i am "attacking" them in some way to clarify our feelings towards each other, but they usually just ran away and i left sitting all alone. I wish i had friends that would have balls to be my friends :crying:


Well, _why_ do you not have a lot of friends? Speaking from an adult perspective, not many people have a lot of friends. They may say "friends" for acquaintances that they are friendly with on a regular basis, but actually talking to outside of the situation that has them as acquaintances or hanging out with, are few. Most adults have life to tend to; e.g., work, family, kids. If someone has "lots of friends" as an adult, and legitimately hangs out with and maintains these relationships, they're most likely either 1) basically family, 2) family friends that are beneficial to the kids, or 3) irresponsible.


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## soseductive (Jan 5, 2016)

Jeremy8419 said:


> Well, _why_ do you not have a lot of friends?


Well, i've explained it in the post above. Everytime i read your posts i feel like it's hard for me to understand your thought process. -_-



Jeremy8419 said:


> Speaking from an adult perspective, not many people have a lot of friends. They may say "friends" for acquaintances that they are friendly with on a regular basis, but actually talking to outside of the situation that has them as acquaintances or hanging out with, are few. Most adults have life to tend to; e.g., work, family, kids. If someone has "lots of friends" as an adult, and legitimately hangs out with and maintains these relationships, they're most likely either 1) basically family, 2) family friends that are beneficial to the kids, or 3) irresponsible.


If you ask me what i mean by saying "friends", then i mean people with indestructible bonds that could die for each other.


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## Jeremy8419 (Mar 2, 2015)

soseductive said:


> Well, i've explained it in the post above. Everytime i read your posts i feel like it's hard for me to understand your thought process. -_-
> 
> If you ask me what i mean by saying "friends", then i mean people with indestructible bonds that could die for each other.


So what you lack is validation. Since the first way you described isn't working for you, have you simply tried asking the person? Maybe they like you, maybe they don't, but if you have a hard time discerning the difference, your ability to discern the difference won't ever grow unless you simply start asking people. Over time, you can use the history to help you determine without asking.

As in the second quote of mine in your post, you may simply be mistaking that they have other things to do besides just being your friend. Typically, when people display signs of lacking affirmation/validation, I just tell them what I am going do and why, even if it is short; e.g., conversation tapers off, person appears to think I don't like them, so I say "okay, bored of talking about this now, I'm going to go do X right now," and such is generally enough.

Not questioning your type, but there's sections of SLI in (I think) the dimensionality article that sounds basically exactly like what you're saying.


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## Mr inappropriate (Dec 17, 2013)

Jeremy8419 said:


> Think you may be missing something from the equation. People with excessive amounts of time on here are generally people who want to make friends but have difficulties so they seek social interaction online as a replacement for actual social interactions. The Catch 22 is that if there aren't people who are _not_ like this, who are specifically trying to help such people, present then it becomes a scenario of a vicious cycle of reaffirming maladaptive and antisocial behavior. E.g., two people who have social issues that prevent healthy relationships irl interacting online and convincing each other that their social issues are "good" qualities of theirs.


Thats assuming they dont have healthy normal relationships IRL. How do you know that ? We got smartphones and stuff, you dont need to be a hermit to be active on forums. 
And also how can people who are unable to form relationships irl, can do it on forums? 

I was thinking of some old members btw, posts numbers +1000 and at least 1 year of history. Its like they formed a kinda friends circle here. I'm also excluding groups dedicated to "typing" matters, as, in that regards this is kinda a hobby-ist forum.

And, yeah Fe can be more useful in starting a friendship/relationship but in the long run, what will happen ? Like you spending some good time with another person, but if you dont ask their phone numbers(or skype for forums), then it will be just that unless they ask for yours. Example, talking a lot with everyone in your class but after school is finished not finding anyone to spend time with.


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## soseductive (Jan 5, 2016)

Jeremy8419 said:


> So what you lack is validation. Since the first way you described isn't working for you, have you simply tried asking the person? Maybe they like you, maybe they don't, but if you have a hard time discerning the difference, your ability to discern the difference won't ever grow unless you simply start asking people. Over time, you can use the history to help you determine without asking.
> 
> As in the second quote of mine in your post, you may simply be mistaking that they have other things to do besides just being your friend. Typically, when people display signs of lacking affirmation/validation, I just tell them what I am going do and why, even if it is short; e.g., conversation tapers off, person appears to think I don't like them, so I say "okay, bored of talking about this now, I'm going to go do X right now," and such is generally enough.
> 
> Not questioning your type, but there's sections of SLI in (I think) the dimensionality article that sounds basically exactly like what you're saying.


Not really. I don't like status of our relationship. If you added yourself to my friends, then you should be my friend and act like my friend. You shouldn't just be there just to be there, i can find a million of "friends" who will silently lay on my friends list. There some other things that bother me about it, but it is the most common one.

I know that people have different things to do, but seems like in my case bonds>everything. If i can't sacrifice everything for my friend, then how he can be sure in my feelings for him.

WOW, someone is violating the rules, what a bad boy  To me it seems like just Leading Fi. I don't care if people are typing me, but it would be nice if people would clarify what i have as Creative, Se or Ne.


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## Jeremy8419 (Mar 2, 2015)

soseductive said:


> Not really. I don't like status of our relationship. If you added yourself to my friends, then you should be my friend and act like my friend. You shouldn't just be there just to be there, i can find a million of "friends" who will silently lay on my friends list. There some other things that bother me about it, but it is the most common one.
> 
> I know that people have different things to do, but seems like in my case bonds>everything. If i can't sacrifice everything for my friend, then how he can be sure in my feelings for him.
> 
> WOW, someone is violating the rules, what a bad boy  To me it seems like just Leading Fi. I don't care if people are typing me, but it would be nice if people would clarify what i have as Creative, Se or Ne.


"be my friend and act like my friend"
You need to determine the context of this statement, while also realizing that other people will have their own version that is not necessarily the same and they may think they are being your friend and acting like it. People show love in different ways. Just look at the various TIM's... That's how they express their love. SLE may seem like a butthole a lot of times to me, but that's just being him, and I know that his version of expressing his love, Se, simply doesn't work for me. It doesn't mean I necessarily like or dislike him, simply that I accept him for who he is.

No, I meant it as in... You are attempting to describe how you are with relationships, and the article's SLI portions have long descriptions that sound very similar. If you read them, it may help you describe what you're looking for better.


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## Jeremy8419 (Mar 2, 2015)

crashbandicoot said:


> Thats assuming they dont have healthy normal relationships IRL. How do you know that ? We got smartphones and stuff, you dont need to be a hermit to be active on forums.
> And also how can people who are unable to form relationships irl, can do it on forums?
> 
> I was thinking of some old members btw, posts numbers +1000 and at least 1 year of history. Its like they formed a kinda friends circle here. I'm also excluding groups dedicated to "typing" matters, as, in that regards this is kinda a hobby-ist forum.
> ...


It's not really "making friends," though. It's more like isolation with people highly like each other. In real life, people make friends by befriending people despite large differences, which allows people to not become isolationists. By only befriending people that share views near identical to their own, it leads to an ever more restrictive capacity for human relationships and a gradual decline into madness.


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## soseductive (Jan 5, 2016)

Jeremy8419 said:


> "be my friend and act like my friend"
> You need to determine the context of this statement, while also realizing that other people will have their own version that is not necessarily the same and they may think they are being your friend and acting like it. People show love in different ways. Just look at the various TIM's... That's how they express their love. SLE may seem like a butthole a lot of times to me, but that's just being him, and I know that his version of expressing his love, Se, simply doesn't work for me. It doesn't mean I necessarily like or dislike him, simply that I accept him for who he is.
> 
> No, I meant it as in... You are attempting to describe how you are with relationships, and the article's SLI portions have long descriptions that sound very similar. If you read them, it may help you describe what you're looking for better.


To me it's pretty obvious, so i don't feel like explaining it. They can have their own version of "be my friend and act like my friend" in some other places, i don't have time and nerves to try to understand them.

Well, thanks, but i don't feel like i am a SLI at all.


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