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## bifurcations (Jan 31, 2021)

How do I gently get this person to leave me alone?


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## Handsome Dyke (Oct 4, 2012)

If he approaches you again, just say, "I don't ever want to interact with you again."

And don't ever approach him. Just ignore him if you see him around town.


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## bifurcations (Jan 31, 2021)

Saiyed Handsome **** said:


> If he approaches you again, just say, "I don't ever want to interact with you again."
> 
> And don't ever approach him. Just ignore him if you see him around town.


Yeah.


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## LatteAway (Sep 1, 2021)

Be blunt. That works every time for me.


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## Rathalos (Aug 25, 2021)

bifurcations said:


> I used to be friends with this guy who had traits that slowly got on my nerves and after he asked to hang out and then dodged the question when I asked what time he wanted to hang out, I blocked him from my social media and my phone, hoping he would get the message: I don't want to associate with him anymore.
> 
> Well, he approached me at a cafe recently, and I always stop whatever I went to the cafe to do for about 2 hours at a stretch to talk, and I didn't feel as though he was as awful as I remembered (he has a charm to him), so I said we could be friends on social media again.
> 
> ...


Are you by any chance a woman? or feminine? Cause men don't ever feel the need to ask for these unless it's in the point where they'll brawl everytime they meet.


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## bifurcations (Jan 31, 2021)

Rathalos said:


> Are you by any chance a woman? or feminine? Cause men don't ever feel the need to ask for these unless it's in the point where they'll brawl everytime they meet.


I'm a woman. I definitely feel as though gender plays into this somehow.


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## Rathalos (Aug 25, 2021)

bifurcations said:


> I'm a woman. I definitely feel as though gender plays into this somehow.


yes because men won't have this problem, we know how to deal with it either vocally or physically.


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## islandlight (Aug 13, 2013)

If you're not comfortable with ignoring or confronting, be minimally polite. Nod or say hi, but avoid/break eye contact, keep walking, etc. If he tries to sit with you in a cafe while you're on your laptop, say you're busy and can't talk. Or say you have to leave, and leave.

He will fade away from your life. Good luck.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

bifurcations said:


> I used to be friends with this guy who had traits that slowly got on my nerves and after he asked to hang out and then dodged the question when I asked what time he wanted to hang out, I blocked him from my social media and my phone, hoping he would get the message: I don't want to associate with him anymore.
> 
> Well, he approached me at a cafe recently, and I always stop whatever I went to the cafe to do for about 2 hours at a stretch to talk, and I didn't feel as though he was as awful as I remembered (he has a charm to him), so I said we could be friends on social media again.
> 
> ...



Yeah, just be brutally honest and let him know exactly what you think of him.


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## bifurcations (Jan 31, 2021)

tanstaafl28 said:


> Yeah, just be brutally honest and let him know exactly what you think of him.


I don't want to hurt his feelings. I feel as though part of my problem is that I can see why he is the way he is, and it's just another way of being, but it's a way of being that has very, very serious drawbacks that don't fit in with how I believe you should treat other people. I don't think it's a way of behaving that will achieve happiness and stability for yourself or others. _shrug_ But if he's willing to make sacrifices in that area to get other things, okay.


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## Rathalos (Aug 25, 2021)

bifurcations said:


> I don't want to hurt his feelings. I feel as though part of my problem is that I can see why he is the way he is, and it's just another way of being, but it's a way of being that has very, very serious drawbacks that don't fit in with how I believe you should treat other people. I don't think it's a way of behaving that will achieve happiness and stability for yourself or others. _shrug_ But if he's willing to make sacrifices in that area to get other things, like free time. Okay. Whatever. I've got things to do though.


Ah yes the all woman go to reason: I don't wanna hurt his feelings. 


Do him and all us a favor and just hurt that feelings


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

bifurcations said:


> I don't want to hurt his feelings. I feel as though part of my problem is that I can see why he is the way he is, and it's just another way of being, but it's a way of being that has very, very serious drawbacks that don't fit in with how I believe you should treat other people. I don't think it's a way of behaving that will achieve happiness and stability for yourself or others. _shrug_ But if he's willing to make sacrifices in that area to get other things, like free time. Okay. Whatever. I've got things to do though.


I'm guessing he's interested in you. If you "friendzone" him, you're stuck with him. If you don't shut him down, he's going to keep trying. I don't see any way around it but to shoot him down, and unfortunately, it's likely to hurt his feelings no matter what you do. In the long run, you're better off doing it now before he becomes even more invested.


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## Rathalos (Aug 25, 2021)

tanstaafl28 said:


> I'm guessing he's interested in you. If you "friendzone" him, you're stuck with him. If you don't shut him down, he's going to keep trying. I don't see any way around it but to shoot him down, and unfortunately, it's likely to hurt his feelings no matter what you do.


Up! Yep the only way to not be rude is to be rude in a sense that you're gonna end something you don't want to begin with.

And when you do friendzone him or whatever never gonna chat him again.


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## Queen of Cups (Feb 26, 2010)

Be blunt and even rude if the person will not take the hint.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

@bifurcations

"Look, I've tried to be nice about this, but I don't know what else to do here. You do not seem to be taking a hint, so let me be clear: I'm simply not interested in you as a friend, or anything else. I'm sorry if I gave you any other impression."


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## Rathalos (Aug 25, 2021)

tanstaafl28 said:


> @bifurcations
> 
> "Look, I've tried to be nice about this, but I don't know what else to do here. You do not seem to be taking a hint, so let me be clear: I'm simply not interested in you as a friend, or anything else. I'm sorry if I gave you any other impression."



This is awesome, i kinda pity that guy too tho, this OP seems to be a karen but i can't assume stuff. Just a gut feeling


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## Queen of Cups (Feb 26, 2010)

Living in a small town is like living in a fishbowl. Everybody knows everybody knows everything about everybody……

And I also don’t like hurting people’s feelings, but sometimes it’s the only way to avoid an even bigger headache. 
The estj once told me don’t feel the need to Justify, Argue, Defend or Explain yourself. No is a full sentence.


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## bifurcations (Jan 31, 2021)

Rathalos said:


> This is awesome, i kinda pity that guy too tho, this OP seems to be a karen but i can't assume stuff. Just a gut feeling


Well, I have a feeling that you're a misogynist.


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## Rathalos (Aug 25, 2021)

bifurcations said:


> Well, I have a feeling that you're a misogynist.


of course you do. haha


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## mia-me (Feb 5, 2021)

Just ice him out by giving him one word responses, then needing to leave everytime he engages.


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