# Emotivist; Interacting with Negativists



## Raawx (Oct 9, 2013)

Lately, I've realized something about myself: when one of my parents brings up issues relating to myself that tend to be S/Si in nature (job finding, self-maintenance, etc.) I've gotten to become very defensive. And I think the reason for this is that they're both negativists, or at least, very negative people.

When they talk about anything that is inherently dealing with the senses, an area which I know I lack, in a negative manner, I automatically become defensive. I'm not sure why that is, other than that it could be me perceiving emotion based on the language they're using. 

So, in this argument that we just had, I asked them that when they feel the need to comment on things that I'm sensitive about (aka everything to do with Si and Se) that they frame it in a positive manner, such that conversation can be productive.

Has this been the experience of any of you who are also emotivists?


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## Ixim (Jun 19, 2013)

Raawx said:


> Lately, I've realized something about myself: when one of my parents brings up issues relating to myself that tend to be S/Si in nature (job finding, self-maintenance, etc.) I've gotten to become very defensive. And I think the reason for this is that they're both negativists, or at least, very negative people.
> 
> When they talk about anything that is inherently dealing with the senses, an area which I know I lack, in a negative manner, I automatically become defensive. I'm not sure why that is, other than that it could be me perceiving emotion based on the language they're using.
> 
> ...


Negativism != negative behaviour/pessimism. I thought that even sparrows on a branch(sorry for a local figure of speech!) knew that by now. Negativism = the ability to spot absence-simple as that. The difference? Here:

Pessimism: "So you went on a job interview? If god wills it, you will get it. Praise be when you get it; (but you most likely won't now)
Negative reinin: "So you have no job? Eliminate those you don't want/aren't qualified to do and find the one you can! (Get rid of the "I can't do/There is no" mentality)"

bracketed parts are either said or implied, depends from a person to person.

The same applies to positive reinin and optimism really.


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## Valtire (Jan 1, 2014)

Raawx said:


> And I think the reason for this is that they're both negativists, or at least, very negative people.


Positivist here. I'm a very negative person. The wiki really doesn't help the misconceptions. Although, on that note, I can be extremely positive at times.


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## Word Dispenser (May 18, 2012)

Positivist hee-yah. And though I _can_ come across as a bottle of sunshine and rainbows, people can complain about me being negative. 

Just, uh... Not at work. 

Man, I love my job.


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## Ixim (Jun 19, 2013)

Fried Eggz said:


> Positivist here. I'm a very negative person. The wiki really doesn't help the misconceptions. Although, on that note, I can be extremely positive at times.


Yeah, you are negative because you DO notice all the flaws, all the crimes, all bad things in general. That's just it.

I'm a negativist and I'm fairly optimistic(tho I prefer to be realistic, ok somewhere in between). Why? Because I notice the lack of all the bad things. One very simple way to determine whether someone is a + or - is to simply ask him "What's the weather outside?". Of course, you'll get a mixed answer, but what is interesting is THE VERY FIRST THING he/she said. If it was "it's cloudy/sunny/etc" -> + . Otoh, if it was "it's not windy/raining/etc" -> - .


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## Recede (Nov 23, 2011)

Raawx said:


> Lately, I've realized something about myself: when one of my parents brings up issues relating to myself that tend to be S/Si in nature (job finding, self-maintenance, etc.) I've gotten to become very defensive. And I think the reason for this is that they're both negativists, or at least, very negative people.


Not sure what job finding or self-maintenance have to do with Sensing. Those just sound like the kind of chores no one likes to do. Also, parents tend to nag about these things in general (not all parents but many) simply due to their protective, parenting role, and I also don't think anyone likes wording that implies you haven't done something you're supposed to do, so I'm not sure how much that has to do with type either.


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## Raawx (Oct 9, 2013)

Silveresque said:


> Not sure what job finding or self-maintenance have to do with Sensing. Those just sound like the kind of chores no one likes to do. Also, parents tend to nag about these things in general (not all parents but many) simply due to their protective, parenting role, and I also don't think anyone likes wording that implies you haven't done something you're supposed to do, so I'm not sure how much that has to do with type either.


Well, yes. They are chore that we all have to do, but Sensing types are much, much better equipped for whatever reason to handle them. 

Self-maintenance is inherently related to S, which for me manifests itself in Si. In pursuit of Ne, Ne-doms often neglect and misinterpret their internal states. For instance, in pursuit of a momentary passion or whim, an ENFP will forget all tiredness or anxiety in pursuit of that goal. They will neglect good sleeping habits and self-maintenance in order to feel more mentally balanced and satisfied at having met their desires. It is the characteristic of an Ne dom to struggle with this; in consideration of multiple alternatives, the individual remains stagnant, where the sensor often does not. The sensor is much more inclined to act. I mean, that is what Si inferior deals with, inherently, no? 

Gym, food, hygeine, sleep, work; they're all, more or less, seen as replaceable or undesirable, which often results in the lanky Ne-dom that you interact with awful consistency.

I said job finding because, for me, it has been a place of anxiety, which I imagine is a result of inferior Si. This isn't to say that all ENFPs experience the same thing; only that it something that could become potentially stressful if circumstances shape up to support a deficiency in job experience. Finding a job is, perhaps, intimately tied with sensation. Se doms seem to have no diffiiculty applying and acquiring jobs; it feels as though it comes natural to them. Which makes sense--their direct force and overall nature makes that job their goal. I imagine Se doms, tend to be very single-minded and focused when they are so impassioned. As an ENFP, though I will be impassioned, it's not nearly as permanent nor is it the same. I find that though I may be passionate, that passion never seeks to manifest on the sensual plane; the Se dom, by contrast will have no problem manifesting that passion. The thought*is *the experience.

And I agree. Nobody really likes that approach for parents. Though, I don't understand--where does the "defensive wall" that I have, come from? Not everyone has it when their parent talk to them. Some are great listeners and take their parents advice as truth. Some know how to "shut up" and listen even when they disagree. I am different; if I am made to feel guilty, I will react strongly and negatively. I don't think it is something that one can just construe as "part of life". I don't think that makes much sense. 

I think you're trying to blur the lines in a manner that is actually quite a bit more unhelpful than it is helpful.


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## Recede (Nov 23, 2011)

Raawx said:


> Well, yes. They are chore that we all have to do, but Sensing types are much, much better equipped for whatever reason to handle them.
> 
> Self-maintenance is inherently related to S, which for me manifests itself in Si. In pursuit of Ne, Ne-doms often neglect and misinterpret their internal states. For instance, in pursuit of a momentary passion or whim, an ENFP will forget all tiredness or anxiety in pursuit of that goal. They will neglect good sleeping habits and self-maintenance in order to feel more mentally balanced and satisfied at having met their desires. It is the characteristic of an Ne dom to struggle with this; in consideration of multiple alternatives, the individual remains stagnant, where the sensor often does not. The sensor is much more inclined to act. I mean, that is what Si inferior deals with, inherently, no?
> 
> ...


It seems to be a common misconception that all the physical tasks and chores people hate would be so much easier if one were a Sensor. I hate that stuff too and neglect it in favor of things I prefer. I'm aware of physical states and could describe them in detail, I just don't care that much and I'm usually not motivated to take action to change them. I've spent my whole life neglecting my physical appearance somewhat because I just wasn't very interested and I don't want to spend extra time and energy on it. I don't even know how to style my hair or get it to look nice, I never learned that and will probably continue neglecting it. And don't even get me started on house chores like those dishes that keep piling up in the sink and sometimes sit in there for weeks, eventually requiring intensive scrubbing that's especially exhausting for me because I'm chronically ill and standing can make me feel sick. Laundry sits in a pile on the floor. Empty water bottles and garbage pile up on my table and counter. Doing things we don't want to do is probably hard for everyone.

Now answer me this. How am I "better equipped" to take out the trash? Or take a shower? They aren't even skill-based activities, they're just simple, boring chores that most people don't like.

I also have a lot of career anxiety. I've had horrible summer job experiences that led to depression, and I'm not sure how I'm going to handle having a 9-5 job as I'm prone to burnout. I hope I've chosen the right career and that it will be fine for me, but I won't know until I actually finish school and start working. I also don't know how you think Sensing should make finding jobs easy. Job searching is one of my least favorite things in the world, along with interviews. They are hard, stressful, time-consuming, and not fun for probably almost everyone.

I'm not "blurring the lines" I'm showing you you're looking at the wrong line, that this isn't what separates Sensors and Intuitives. If you find reality-checking unhelpful, I don't know how to help you.


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

Raawx said:


> Lately, I've realized something about myself: when one of my parents brings up issues relating to myself that tend to be S/Si in nature (job finding, self-maintenance, etc.) I've gotten to become very defensive. And I think the reason for this is that they're both negativists, or at least, very negative people.
> 
> When they talk about anything that is inherently dealing with the senses, an area which I know I lack, in a negative manner, I automatically become defensive. I'm not sure why that is, other than that it could be me perceiving emotion based on the language they're using.
> 
> ...


You misunderstand socioncs negativist term.
*Example of what a negativist would say:* 

*_* awesome its not raining today and there are no louds in the sky!
 well at least I'm not sick!
etc..

I*ts not about being a negative person or a pessimist. (XD see what I mean?)* You have to remember ENFPs are negativists and the stereotype is that they see the silver lining in every cloud. ^^ I'm definitely not a negative / pessimist person (again  see what I mean?)

I'm also a emotive & consider the interaction wasted if it turns negative :/..so yeah.


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## The Exception (Oct 26, 2010)

Raawx said:


> Lately, I've realized something about myself: when one of my parents brings up issues relating to myself that tend to be S/Si in nature (job finding, self-maintenance, etc.) I've gotten to become very defensive. And I think the reason for this is that they're both negativists, or at least, very negative people.
> 
> When they talk about anything that is inherently dealing with the senses, an area which I know I lack, in a negative manner, I automatically become defensive. I'm not sure why that is, other than that it could be me perceiving emotion based on the language they're using.
> 
> ...


It's been my experience. I'm not sure how closely it ties in with positivism/negativism and constructivist/emotivist dichotomies though. Like what others have said, being a negativist does not imply being a pessimist and you can also have positivists in the Reinin sense who are pessimists. 

I am definitely put off by conversations that are overly pessimistic or with too much negative emotionality. I have told my parents when I'm about to say something or want to do something I'm not sure they will approve of, that they at least phrase it in a more pleasant, positive manner. 

I've read about both the negativist/positivist and constructivist/emotivist dichotomies and I consider myself on the fence for both of them. Although as an LII, in theory, I should be negativist and emotivist. One thing in particularly relate to in the emotivist description is 'if a conversation is negative, I consider it wasted.' But I also relate to the part of the constructivist description where it mentions that it's difficult for them to get out of a negative emotional state once they are in it.


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