# Instinctual type: sx (can it be more emotional than sexual?)



## Ember (Feb 11, 2012)

> Sexual (aka "Attraction") (SX) Instinct
> Many people originally identify themselves as this type because they have learned that the Sexual types are interested in "one-on-one relationships." But all three instinctual types are interested in one-on-one relationships for different reasons, so this does not distinguish them. The key element in Sexual types is an intense drive for intimacy and a constant awareness of the "chemistry" between themselves and others. Sexual types are immediately aware of the attraction, or lack thereof, between themselves and other people. Further, while the basis of this instinct is related to sexuality, it is not necessarily about people engaging in the sexual act. There are many people that we are excited to be around for reasons of personal chemistry that we have no intention of "getting involved with." Nonetheless, we might be aware that we feel stimulated in certain people's company and less so in others. The sexual type is constantly moving toward that sense of intense stimulation and intimacy in their relationships and in their activities. They are the most "energized" of the three instinctual types, and tend to be more aggressive, competitive, charged, and emotionally intense than the Self-Pres or Social types. Sexual types need to have deep intimacy in their primary relationships or else they remain unsatisfied. They enjoy being intensely involved—even merged—with others, and can become disenchanted with partners who are unable to meet their need for intense energetic union. Losing yourself in a "fusion" of being is the ideal here, and Sexual types are always looking for this state with others and with stimulating objects in their world.


What about a 7:3 ratio of emotional needs to sexual needs?
For me, being emotionally intimate is more important than being sexually/physically intimate.


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## SweetPickles (Mar 19, 2012)

I concur...


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## Dark Romantic (Dec 27, 2011)

I would say it's a combo; calling it the sexual instinct is quite apt, because Sx-doms are essentially looking for a climax in everything they do. So, a physical climax is just part of it; an emotional climax would be sought after as well.


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## TreeBob (Oct 11, 2008)

It isn't either or for me. Like Dark Romantic said it's a combination of the two. Maybe if you are a feeler the ratio changes?


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## Ember (Feb 11, 2012)

TreeBob said:


> It isn't either or for me. Like Dark Romantic said it's a combination of the two. Maybe if you are a feeler the ratio changes?


I just might be a feeler, I don't know. I always score xNTP on Type Me threads and INTP in those million tests I have taken before. ENTP in the cognitive function tests.

But yep, the ratios vary.


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## NT the DC (May 31, 2012)

The talk of fusion is funny. I once told my ex gf that I thought the ultimate form of love is kind of like "Lawnmower man" when they are in virtual reality and they kind of twirl together and become one being. God I'm freaking weird LULZ.


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## aconite (Mar 26, 2012)

Dark Romantic said:


> I would say it's a combo; calling it the sexual instinct is quite apt, because Sx-doms are essentially looking for a climax in everything they do. So, a physical climax is just part of it; an emotional climax would be sought after as well.


Seconded. Although being a Sx-dom is not only about intimate relationships - I'm passionate about everything I do, it's like I'm in a constant state of infatuation. I can fall in love with ideas, with visions of future etc. Emotions are enhanced - I'm not simply in love, I'm madly in love. I'm not just bored, I'm dying of boredom. I'm not happy, I'm bursting with joy (although it might be a side-effect of my heart fix). Although it might be different for you, @Skream - the same instinctual stacking isn't expressed the same way in all nine types.


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## Ember (Feb 11, 2012)

aconite said:


> Seconded. Although being a Sx-dom is not only about intimate relationships - I'm passionate about everything I do, it's like I'm in a constant state of infatuation. I can fall in love with ideas, with visions of future etc. Emotions are enhanced - I'm not simply in love, I'm madly in love. I'm not just bored, I'm dying of boredom. I'm not happy, I'm bursting with joy (although it might be a side-effect of my heart fix). Although it might be different for you, @_Skream_ - the same instinctual stacking isn't expressed the same way in all nine types.


Is there a description of (sp/sx) (sp/so) (sx/sp) (sx/so) (so/sp) (so/sx) anywhere on the internet? Ha, you seem to have a fun life, especially since you're an INTP.


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## aconite (Mar 26, 2012)

Skream said:


> Is there a description of (sp/sx) (sp/so) (sx/sp) (sx/so) (so/sp) (so/sx) anywhere on the internet? Ha, you seem to have a fun life, especially since you're an INTP.


Here you are:
Socionics - the16types.info - Instinctual Stackings

There are sticky threads in every type subforum, too.

Why do you think that my life is fun since I'm an INTP?


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## Ember (Feb 11, 2012)

aconite said:


> Here you are:
> Socionics - the16types.info - Instinctual Stackings
> 
> There are sticky threads in every type subforum, too.
> ...


"I can fall in love with ideas, with visions of future etc. Emotions are enhanced - I'm not simply in love, I'm madly in love. I'm not just bored, I'm dying of boredom. I'm not happy, I'm bursting with joy (although it might be a side-effect of my heart fix)." 

Most of the people in the INTP forum are depressed or not-happy.


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## aconite (Mar 26, 2012)

Skream said:


> "I can fall in love with ideas, with visions of future etc. Emotions are enhanced - I'm not simply in love, I'm madly in love. I'm not just bored, I'm dying of boredom. I'm not happy, I'm bursting with joy (although it might be a side-effect of my heart fix)."
> 
> Most of the people in the INTP forum are depressed or not-happy.


Oh, I see. My life isn't exactly rainbows and sunshine - I do have problems, it's just that I tend to deny them and pretend that I'm absolutely fine and that I can manage everything I face. Also, I spent a few years suffering from depression. Maybe it made me stronger and let me appreciate what I have - either way, Sevens usually seem much happier than they really are. Feel free to contact me via PM if you have questions.


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## Bumblyjack (Nov 18, 2011)

Skream said:


> Is there a description of (sp/sx) (sp/so) (sx/sp) (sx/so) (so/sp) (so/sx) anywhere on the internet? Ha, you seem to have a fun life, especially since you're an INTP.


Also take a look at this site. Look on the lefthand sidebar, they have descriptions of the stackings for the 9 different enneagram types as well.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

It's hard for me to have the emotional without the sexual. It is hard for me to go full blown emotional without the depth. I need intensity in the right direction. I want to tear things apart and master them, then throw them away. I want rawness in both emotional and physical. I want to rip my body open and expose myself. Usually whomever I am with will then do the same. And then once we are both ripped open, I want to sew the ripped edges of our skin together and become whole. And that's usually just a 15 minute coffee date with a friend. 

For me, the sexual instinct is about the need to expose myself in various ways and "become one" with what I believe in. My connection with an object outside of myself is to go inside of it. I like to "wear it". The level of intensity I give in any one direction makes it harder for me when I have more than one individual or interest, but that makes me get more creative in how I have to kick it up a notch to get under some skin. 

And it just so happens one of the best ways to expose one's self and feel fused with another is through sexual activity. I won't feel like I completely know a partner if we haven't exposed ourselves in this way. However, I can also see how my sexual instinct plays out with platonic friends, as a parent, in groups and activities. There is a common thread of "realness" and honesty in all areas of my life because it's very linked to pure exposure. And I challenge others to do the same.


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## Choice (May 19, 2012)

I thought the sexual variant meant intensity-seeking instead of anything hypersexuality-related. I lurk on lgbt forums and I'm pretty darn sure there are SX asexuals. Go ask them how much they wanna bump uglies with another human being


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Jiktin said:


> I thought the sexual variant meant intensity-seeking instead of anything hypersexuality-related. I lurk on lgbt forums and I'm pretty darn sure there are SX asexuals. Go ask them how much they wanna bump uglies with another human being


It doesn't mean that it can't manifest as hypersexuality either. Secondary stacking makes a difference as well as the E type, trifix, and level of health. 



> Sexual primary people are more likely to most of the time be intense, assertive, aggressive, impulsive, focused, idealistic, and relationship and adrenaline "junkies". When less healthy, they may be especially volatile, extreme, aggressive, attacking, addicted to alcoholism or drugs, promiscuous, sacrificing anything for a rush; or they may be psychotically experientially deprived, having especially dysfunctional and unhealthy attitudes towards sex and intimacy.
> 
> Sexual Primary / Social Support
> "The Sensual Player"
> ...


Here is a comparison of some E types with the sexual variants. I don't necessarily agree with them since as a 6, I can identify more with the 7,8, 2, and 9 description. However, I'm 6w7(sw7w8) with a 2 and 9 fix. Regardless, I wanted to show these descriptions in order to show possible variations within the sexual instinct. 



> *Sexual 2* - Seeking Intimacy/Intensity
> Udit Patel Craving Intimacy (Ichazo's "Aggression")
> 
> Sexual Twos feel that they will feel loved by attaining complete, profound intimacy with someone. Thus they are driven to be as close to their loved ones as possible. They attempt to win a place with people by focusing intensely on the other's needs, hopes, and interests. They enjoy the process of learning about potential partners and make it their business to become acquainted with the other's world. It is as if the Sexual Two was seeking to get "in synch" with the other in as many different ways as possible. Similarly, the Sexual Two will enjoy finding out what the other likes, whether it is a favorite food, cologne, style of music, or favorite place for vacationing. Needless to say, Sexual Twos will then do their best to provide these things for their intimates. Moreover, most people love to be the center of attention, and Sexual Twos know this, lavishing the other with attention, affection, and praise. In this sense, they are seductive-getting others interested in spending time with them by making the other their object of adoration. Sexual Twos also like to touch and be touched by the people they are drawn to, often initiating physical contact in a relationship—even in a friendship. When less balanced, Sexual Twos can become obsessed with a lover and can have great difficulty letting go of a relationship.
> ...


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

TreeBob said:


> Maybe if you are a feeler the ratio changes?


Not in my case.


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