# ISFP's for dummies: A manual



## Curlyque (Mar 14, 2014)

Hey guys! I figured that we could put together a user manual for people so that people can use this information to better understand their ISFP. I will ask some questions and hopefully you guys can answer. While everyone is an individual, maybe there will be some kind of pattern that can be used for the manuel.

1. How are you in relationships? 

2. How do you do in conversations?

3. What are your emotional needs?

4. What are your physical needs? (I.e, lots of freedom, etc)

5. How are you in social settings? 

6. How are you when you are upset?

7. How are you when stressed/sad?

8. What is your love language? 

9a. Do you like being alone?

9b. What do you do for fun?

10. What are your strengths/weaknesses? 

11. How to get on your good side?

12. What do you value the most?

13. What do you feel like is the biggest misconception of your type?

14. Bottom line about ISFPs?



Thanks in advance!


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## Sparkling (Jul 12, 2013)

Curlyque said:


> Hey guys! I figured that we could put together a user manual for people so that people can use this information to better understand their ISFP. I will ask some questions and hopefully you guys can answer. While everyone is an individual, maybe there will be some kind of pattern that can be used for the manuel.
> 
> 1. How are you in relationships?
> unsure about other person motivation, loyal, caring
> ...


answers included


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## demonblade (Dec 10, 2013)

*1. How are you in relationships?* 
I rarely take the initiative in a friendship. I can't speak for dating. I'll initiate casual conversation with many acquaintances, but I rarely will invite someone to spend time together. Frankly I don't think of it and it doesn't mean I don't like that person. I cancel plans 50% the time and I rather do things spur of the moment.

I tend to avoid conflict and problem areas. If someone has a problem and is awkward in a relationship I won't push too hard for them to tell me what's going on. I keep a distance between myself and others

*2. How do you do in conversations?*
Usually okay, unless the other party is awkward. I often talk to people casually if I'm in a normal to good mood (not all the time though). If I'm tired or upset I don't talk much.

*3. What are your emotional needs?*
I don't need to talk about my emotions often, only when they start to pile up because I haven't been dealing with them properly. My first function, Fi, is good at keeping my emotions stable. 
In friendships I need to feel valued. The best way to do this is with your actions rather than words. I don’t like gushy praise. Instead, honest compliments and simple loving acts are enough. I need harmony to feel happy, and plenty of space.

*4. What are your physical needs? (I.e, lots of freedom, etc)*
I *need* new experiences or I start to become depressed. I express myself artistically or in writing and if I don't I get stressed. Flexing my extroverted sensing is essential for me to stay on top of stress.

*5. How are you in social settings? *
I don’t do well in groups, so often I stay quiet or talk to someone one-on-one. Just like all introverts, spending large amounts of time in highly social settings saps all my energy.

*6. How are you when you are upset?*
Emotional, negative, hurt. Avoidance. I usually don’t express it outwardly and I’m more of a mess on the inside.

*7. How are you when stressed/sad?*
My self confidence is usually at its lowest when it gets like this. Again, I don’t express it outwardly. I might blow up or break down in front of a couple selected people. Avoidance to the highest.

*8. What is your love language? *
I’m not sure, but I don’t think it’s quality time. Probably acts of kindness, words of affirmation? I’m too tired to look up what they all are exactly.

*9a. Do you like being alone?*
Yes, it’s when I’m most at peace.

*9b. What do you do for fun?*
Drawing, writing/journaling, gardening, browsing the internet, and new things

*10. What are your strengths/weaknesses? *
_Strengths_: Resilience, kindness, friendliness, art, aesthetics, empathy
_Weaknesses_: Theory/step-by-step logic, change, rules, self-control

*11. How to get on your good side?*
Cut out the drama or manipulation. Talk in a friendly manner, but don’t afraid to be yourself with me. Be straightforward, honest, and truthful. Invite me to do cool, new things with you. Make sure it isn't in a large group of friends, and if it is don’t leave me alone once we hang out.

*12. What do you value the most?*
Freedom and individuality. My personal values, thoughts, and feelings. Family.

*13. What do you feel like is the biggest misconception of your type?*
Probably when we drop off the grid and have no contact with people for long periods of time. Sometimes it happens when I'm stressed or sometimes I just don't feel the need to stay in touch, or sometimes I don't even think of it. Just because this happens doesn't mean I don't care about my friends or family I haven't contacted, and I want to pick right up where I left off.

*14. Bottom line about ISFPs?*
We love to understand ourselves, and inner harmony is important to us and gives us joy. We value individuality and independence.


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## yuzu (Apr 5, 2014)

1. In relationships I am mostly quiet. People who don't know me well tend to leave in a form of an excuse etc. Me and close introverted friends tend to appreciate the silence and talk a little here and there. Close extravert friends are comforting because they start the convos which is all the time and I don't mind it mostly unless I feel tired of if I'm trying to work on something. Overall I am quiet, I talk a lot if you decide to confide in me ans I won't be harsh/sarcastic or direct with you.

2. In conversations I answer modestly haha. With strangers it's polite, friendly and enthusiastic. With peers it's curt and friendly. With close friends i'm either loud and energetic or kind and jokingly. I can sound awkward since it's difficult to explain passionately at times. 

3. I like people who try to see why someone is feeling a way instead of judging them. I like people who are tact in words, considerate and polite, friends who don't lose their attention on me esp. in group convos. I like to be talked to tactfully not harsh and loudly. I like acts of friendship such as sharing food or taking selfies...haha. I am close to hating gushiness, I don't like insults like bitch or whore as friendship nicknames. I don't like jokingly rejection. I like people who like to discuss anything w me.

4. Dry warmth. Comfy bed. Meals when i'm hungry. Comfortable clothing. Art supplies! Alone time! Single bed in a single room I can't stand other noises esp snoring. 

5. I'm modest and polite in social settings, I know the norms. I lose this with family haha. I like small groups where everyone can see eachother and shouting replies isnt necessary. 

6. When i'm upset i'm blank, empty. I just let it go and lose myself. I become stubborn and am willing to leave right away in whatever condition. It's impulsive. When upset I need to get away immediately. I turn curt, irritated, i won't talk.

7. Stressed: irritated, curt, can turn sad, tight expression, tired, hot skin, blow up easily
Sad: need to get away from people, urge to cry is strong, more sensitive, quiet, won't talk

8. Friends: subtle touching like leaning, legs on eachothers, detailed compliments, sharing food
Partner: pecks on cheek nose forehead lips etc, leaning, sharing food, spending time together, appreciation on intereststhoughts etc

9a I like quality alone time on drawing, researching, music, napping etc. Too much though can irritate me bc I like sun and going out and being productive in a way

9b. drawing, watercolour, writing, researching-->history, personalities, fashion etc, fashion, making colour palettes, listing

10. Strengths:
accepting, good listener, friendly despite situation, empathetic, focus easily on whatever is happening, understanding, modest/humble, detail oriented, strict moral code
Weaknesses: 
Disorganized, not always punctual, kinda carefree, sensitive, shy, can be confused and awkward easily, little impulsive at times

11. Stop joking all the time, dont criticize on everything i do wrong even subtle things goodness, dont be obnoxious or forceful or clingy, respect my morals space and interests, sarcasm no, stOP joking all the time, stop judging others critically leave them be and dont try to make a big scene over little things omg.

12. I value people who are patient with me (this!!!!!), art, emotions in art writing films etc, close friendships, peaceful moments

13. not always quiet or awkward it depends on the ppl tbh. Sometimes i'm just admiring the scenery while you're worrying what to say. Tbh i'm not sure what else.

14. ISFP's like those who accept them, are patient with them, talk to them like real friends and dont talk loudly harshly and critically at them. We are very appreciative and accepting people! We strive for harmony and understanding. We like if you like what we like! Talk to us and we'll listen.


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## mikan (May 25, 2014)

I just squeezed my mind into this post.

1. How are you in a relationship?

I'm not a relationship type person. I guess I'm very picky and my expectations are very unrealistic. I'm very conscious and I take relationships very seriously. Usually it's the other person who has a crush on me, but I never had a crush ever in my life. I don't know how people can have crushes so easily and instantly. One NT had a crush on me and he's the only one who's acting like a "girl" he's the one who's being overly girlishly dramatic for not texting him back because I was busy. I don't know, he's okay but I don't have any feelings for him, he's just a friend to me. I don't know if ill ever actually experience "love", It's my very picky Ti showing up whenever I think of relationships.

2. How do you do in conversations?

I'm usually the one who's listening. I comment a lot, but definitely not the one to be talking on some long subject, def not a speaker. Ive been told I'm a good listener by my talkative INFP friend. I have a bad habit that upsets my friends, I interrupt people a lot to comment on what I think. I'm also the to be laughing the most if it was about something funny, if say I laugh a lot, it might be my way of responding to people. My voice is naturally not very loud, just a little below average but I guess it's normal, it's not causing me any problems so far. I sometimes get ignored a lot because I'm not really that interesting in conversations, I have nothing to say actually. My mind goes blank and I forget. If I'm tired from having a conversation or just generally tired I'll be quiet and not pay attention and not care to actually talk.

3. What are your emotional needs?

I need to be appreciated, not ignored. I want to be loved as well, but it's difficult for me fall in love. I don't don't want to be stressed, I don't like careless and destroying people. I also don't want to be used, or anyone invading my privacy or freedom. Routine makes me stressed and bored.

4. What are your physical needs?

I don't like control. I don't want to be controlled at all. I want to be appreciated as an individual and given plenty of freedom, not pressure and expectations. I want a good and supporting atmosphere.

5. How are you in social settings?

I'm the one who listening and laughing, I'm very physical and I like to move. I use hand gestures and moves when I'm talking about something funny. I comment a lot, all that only when I'm with my friends. I react a lot. I also love going to parties for the loud good music, not for people. If it were my friends then it's a no problem.
When I'm with people I don't know I'm quiet and I'm kinda nervous. I observe how they talk and I try to get used to them. I'm polite and friendly, also easy-going.

6. How are you when you are upset?

I'm physical. I raise my voice a little but not talk much. hold my anger until I can throw and break and flip literally everything in my way, literally. Slam doors really hard too. I remember once I was in rage mode and I broke 2 vases, 4 cups and 2 medicine bottles. I sit down and cry. I don't know but I always seem to cry when I'm angry and I can't hold it. Once I was having a argument with my friend and I ended up crying. I always take things personally and I naturally do not like to fight or argue, I don't like doing something against my nature, too overwhelming for me. I also do not want people to touch me when I'm angry. I want to be alone for a while, I don't want to do or say something I will regret. And I'm likely to never forgive you if you have put me in a problem, no matter what and avoid you at all costs.

7. How are you when stressed/sad? 

If I'm in a pinch literally sit down in a corner and cry. When I'm stressed I become slower, don't want to do anything anymore. I feel hopeless and angry on the inside. It might seem funny, but I look out the window and imagine myself as a bird. I want to be as free as one, no schedule no shit. If I'm sad I like to draw. I like to express everything I feel through a drawing while listening to music that matches my mood. It gives me energy and confidence. To say, I realized that when I'm experiencing strong emotions I always tend to draw. It happens instantly, I want to express and reflect my feeling I'm experiencing onto something, which is a pure joy for me. I think all the ISFPs will agree on this, it doesn't have to be art though. I'd call it a passion, I like to see my feelings before my eyes reflected into a painting, because for me words are not enough to describe my emotions, I'm not good at using words.

8. What is your love language?

If I had a crush or lover, I'd look at them all time. Think of them all the time. Want to be with them forever. My eyes would be sparkling when I'm looking at them. I'd have a difficult time expressing my love through words. I'd feel intense, I want to just be there with them all the time and cuddle and have a good time, visit places together, have walks holding hands. I want to surprise them. I feel more comfortable giving presents, or any service or help. I guess love restores my happiness and inspires me.

9a. Do you like being alone?

I do not feel lonely when I'm alone. Rather, I find it calming and relaxing, a way to be creative and think clearly.

9b. What do you do for fun?

I like the outdoors, if only there were not many people. I like having walks in a good weather, walking a dog for instance. Walking alone is more enjoyable than with someone else. I like calming atmospheres. I really love listening to music and dancing is one of my favorite things to do. I have a passion for music, it controls my emotions instantly, it also boosts my mood the most than any other things. Ive always loved drawing as well, I've been drawing ever since I was a child in kindergarten. Fashion is very enjoyable for me, I'm very good in putting things together and matching them perfectly. I find it enjoyable. I also enjoy doing new stuff, talking to people on the internet, video gaming and singing, even if I lack vocal talents. I secretly really, really like to sing.

10. What are your strengths/weaknesses?

My weakness is my low self esteem, I always think I'm not good enough, I don't like to miss things. I'm also hypersensitive toward criticism, I always take things personally. I don't like it when point out my weaknesses. I believe my strengths are my justness and being a good listener and my love for freedom. I know what's right and what's wrong and what should be done. I don't stay passive if somebody crosses the red line, I don't allow it.

11. How to get on your good side?

Appreciate my privacy, I don't like demanding and pushy people who put expectations on you. Those are the worst types that I don't like getting along with. Don't tell us what to do, we don't like to be told what to do.

12. What do you value the most?

I guess I value my own freedom and piece if mind the most. I wouldn't see a point in my life if I'll get controlled for the rest of my life. I don't like people putting expectations on me - and expect me to follow it. I do my own thing, I only do what I want to do, not what people want me to do. I also value every special person to me, but I don't usually put them before me. I appreciate what they have done to me.

13. What do you feel like is the biggest misconception of your type?

Kindness and/or sympathy for another
I guess we are not very kind, but I'll just talk about myself cause I can't generalize. It's the dominant Fi that makes us act in such way. If somebody were describing how rough their lives were, I'll most likely not care, and rather pretend to care in the sake of friendship. Because I honestly do not care, and I suck at talking to people into feeling better about themselves, because in my mind, I'm constantly judging them, I judge when in stressed, when I'm happy I don't care, during stress Fi switches into Ti and makes us judge on everything. I'd rather do or give something than talk to them into feeling better.

14. Bottom line about ISFPs?

ISFPs might look all boring but we are actually cool if you get to value us and appreciate us. We will be loyal and faithful and giving toward you, but don't cross the line or invade our privacy or freedom. don't be loud or annoying. We like cool, tasteful people.



((Holy crap, I can't believe I wrote all this on a phone.


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## uncertain (May 26, 2012)

1. How are you in relationships?
Unsure about things and insecure. Pretty quiet. Don't initiate. I like to be spontaneous and not to plan ahead for weekends or vacation or free times for fun. I am open to conversations but I am not patient with small talks and I often don't have much to say during those times. I am not thinking about dating and I probably don't want it if people ask me at this point.

2. How do you do in conversations?
Silent most of the time, until it's about something I am interested in/ know about, and then I can talk a lot.

3. What are your emotional needs?
Feeling confident, doing what I want and what I should according to my value. I tend to keep things to myself and like to figure things out on my own.

4. What are your physical needs? (I.e, lots of freedom, etc)
Yeah lots of freedom. Free of control, not being told what to do or how should I be. Getting outdoor everyday, seeing things, watching people, a good bed, a big table at home, some hot food at least once a day. Alcohol.

5. How are you in social settings?
Mostly quiet. Don't initiate. At the corner. Nice to people, friends or strangers.

6. How are you when you are upset?
I stay quiet. Can become cold. My face may show, too, idk.

7. How are you when stressed/sad?
Depressed. Start to drink more. Become even more quiet. May tend to sleep more.

8. What is your love language?

9a. Do you like being alone?
YES.

9b. What do you do for fun?
Drawing, take a walk, be outdoor, watch comedy, drink alcohol, browse the internet, etc.

10. What are your strengths/weaknesses?
Strength: resilient, independent, adaptable, nice, humble, authentic, art, accepting,
Weaknesses: Socially awkward and retarded, bad at communication, procrastinating, messy, not punctual, not empathetic (suck at talking to people to make them feel better), boring.

11. How to get on your good side?
Don't be judgmental. Don't tell me what to do. Don't tell me to smile. Be yourself and let me be myself. Be patient with me. Leave me alone.

12. What do you value the most?
Freeedom, authenticity, honesty, trust, privacy

13. What do you feel like is the biggest misconception of your type?
I don't know but I agree with @mikan on this

14. Bottom line about ISFPs?
Agree with everyone here


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