# SPs and pride?



## EminentFate (Dec 26, 2013)

Dearest SPs,

Do you or have you ever had a problem with pride? (that you are aware of)

Sincerely, a humble NF.


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## Brian1 (May 7, 2011)

I would be lion if I told you I didn't have an issue with pride.

But seriously,yes, well I call it confidence, others see ego.


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## EminentFate (Dec 26, 2013)

What are the main reasons for your 'confidence'? 
Is it anything in particular, or just a world view?


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## SuperSoaker (Aug 19, 2013)

What do you mean with a problem with pride? I don't care so much for pride as long as people are fair with me. 

I see pride as more of a Feeling thing. To me my rules are pro ably what I use instead.


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## EminentFate (Dec 26, 2013)

Some problems with pride could include things like: showing off, giving out un-needed advice, thinking you know everything, your opinion is the only one that matters, showing off etc

Of course, I'm an NF so I see those things as problems. You may think of them as a part of life, what are your thoughts?


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## SuperSoaker (Aug 19, 2013)

EminentFate said:


> Some problems with pride could include things like: showing off, giving out un-needed advice, thinking you know everything, your opinion is the only one that matters, showing off etc
> 
> Of course, I'm an NF so I see those things as problems. You may think of them as a part of life, what are your thoughts?


I think you would have a problem finding an ISTP with those traits, but there are probably some that do.

Maybe pride manifests more in those ways you write with some extroverts? 

Edit: my ESTJ boss has those traits and they do annoy me.


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## EminentFate (Dec 26, 2013)

SuperSoaker said:


> I think you would have a problem finding an ISTP with those traits, but there are probably some that do.
> 
> Maybe pride manifests more in those ways you write with some extroverts?
> 
> Edit: my ESTJ boss has those traits and they do annoy me.


It could be common within SFs, because when I wrote this post, I had mainly ESFPs in mind, with ISFPs. So that's a good point, I havn't met an ISTP with 'prideful traits', ESTP yes, but not an ISTP.


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## SuperSoaker (Aug 19, 2013)

EminentFate said:


> It could be common within SFs, because when I wrote this post, I had mainly ESFPs in mind, with ISFPs. So that's a good point, I havn't met an ISTP with 'prideful traits', ESTP yes, but not an ISTP.


I think there's a difference if pride comes from the heart (enneagram 2) or just to inflate your ego. I find the latter more annoying and easier to spot. And those that use pride to inflate their ego are pretty easy to deflate as well...


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## VioletEvergarden (May 10, 2011)

No.


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## ferroequinologist (Jul 27, 2012)

EminentFate said:


> Some problems with pride could include things like: showing off, giving out un-needed advice, thinking you know everything, your opinion is the only one that matters, showing off etc
> 
> Of course, I'm an NF so I see those things as problems. You may think of them as a part of life, what are your thoughts?


What you are describing is observable behavior, not attitude. Pride is an attitude, and can exist without external behavior, and frequently, external behavior is an expression of something else, but has its motivations attributed falsely. For instance.

I know that I have been accused of all of these, but not by people that know me well. Weirdly enough, I seldom "extrovert" in these ways, except around people I know and trust--but sometimes others are there, and they misunderstand. Here's my perspective--and I should add that I have seen this in other SPs as well...

"showing off". We love to exercise our Se. For the ISFP, it is his primary way of expressing himself. But notice what happens when the performance is over. Watch some well-known ISFPs afterwards--Michael Jackson, Bob Dylan or David Gilmour. When they finish, they tend to melt away. But when performing, they are "all in". My youngest, and SP is like that too, but since she's more extroverted, she's much more comfortable with praise--and tends to soak it in--not that she's showing off--it's what she enjoys (and seems to need) In any case, that's our Se.

"giving out un-needed advice"... Well my INFJ daughter is _really_ good at this too. ;-) But in my case, it tends to come from an inferior Te under stress--you feel you need to do something more than just sit quietly. Because of my Fi, I have a hard time "emoting" with someone, so my attempts to help come off as cold advice. I try to not do this, but ask my kids--I do it far too often. ;-)

"thinking you know everything"... again, I think, in my case, it comes from my inferior Te--and again, from stress. What people seldom see, though, is that afterwards, I'll relive the scene over and over, feeling more and more stupid, and more and more self-critical. And I'll determine to never do it again--but it never works. Let the stress go up a bit... 

Also, there is something else that effects this. I have strong opinions, and I'm not afraid to defend them, but I'm also open to what other people have to say--but I won't necessarily just accept it on their word. I will need to verify, check, and then digest it for a while. But what stresses me the most, I would say, is when I feel misunderstood, or if I am unable to understand somebody else. So, if we are having a discussion and our views differ, I will try to get my point across. If I feel that I'm not communicating properly, I will try harder, and harder. Sometimes with different tactics, sometimes repeating myself with slightly different words--all in an attempt to be understood--it is not a matter of values or ideals, per se, but of simply being understood. Or if somebody is saying something I can't grasp, I will ask questions that are important to me, but the other person seldom sees the value in. I think this tends to happen most with people who have Ti. Because my Te is inferior, I struggle with them, trying to pull it all together. In these situations, I've been told I'm inflexible or a know-it-all--when that's not it at all. Usually when somebody says something like that, I will simply shut up, disengage, and shut down. That also seems to upset people. But really, did they really expect me to just accept what they were saying at face value when they couldn't accept me at face value? 

I really don't know how other SPs come across, but this is how it works for me, when others accuse me of these things. Can these things be a sign of pride? Yes, of course, but pride is an attitude, not behavior. I think it exhibits itself in different ways with different folks. Worse, the way one person perceives prideful behavior is another's acceptable behavior. It's hard to look beneath the surface, but it's worth trying. That's what I always try to do--not that I succeed every time. It's easier to just let people be themselves, even if I don't like it. ;-)


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

EminentFate said:


> Some problems with pride could include things like: showing off, giving out un-needed advice, thinking you know everything, your opinion is the only one that matters, showing off etc
> 
> Of course, I'm an NF so I see those things as problems. You may think of them as a part of life, what are your thoughts?


Showing off is fun. People are free to take the piss out of me. It's all in good fun. 

Giving advice assumes I have enough interest in a person to waste time thinking about their problems. If someone asks me for advice and I think they might actually listen, I'll share it. I'm not interested in other peoples problems, I have enough of my own to solve. 

Thinking I know everything? I do know everything. But seriously, I haven't had anyone accusing me of being a know it all. I get a lot of mileage out of feigned arrogance for comedy, but it is quite obviously not true to such a degree that I don't see a point in warning people that I'm joking. 

Do I have pride issues? Not that I see.


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## bearotter (Aug 10, 2012)

I'm going to say if you're typing by functions and view SP as aux/dom Se, then this is not related to pride. Se is raw sensation.


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## LittleOrange (Feb 11, 2012)

EminentFate said:


> Some problems with pride could include things like: showing off, giving out un-needed advice, thinking you know everything, your opinion is the only one that matters, showing off etc
> 
> Of course, I'm an NF so I see those things as problems. You may think of them as a part of life, what are your thoughts?


No, I don´t think these traits are type related....I know some ENFJs who act that way too....And I don´t see it as part of life, I see it as annoying.


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## Sultanim (Feb 4, 2014)

I take pride in the stuff I've created. It's just the fact that I could materialize or finish whatever I had in mind makes me happy and the realization of it makes me more aware of my abilities and the potential I have. It happens with my paintings, grades, etc.


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## uncertain (May 26, 2012)

EminentFate said:


> Some problems with pride could include things like: showing off, giving out un-needed advice, thinking you know everything, your opinion is the only one that matters, showing off etc
> 
> Of course, I'm an NF so I see those things as problems. You may think of them as a part of life, what are your thoughts?


I hate it when people behave like that. It bugs me. That is part of life but a lot of those behaviors should not exist.

And like, some people post pictures of their food on Facebook all the time, or tell everyone which restaurant they are eating at. It's so annoying. I am tired of it.

I hardly do those things, and because of that people usually don't notice/ don't think about me. I don't feel like I need to, anyway, so no I don't have a problem.

My opinion is important to myself though. I usually stick with my belief since that's like the thing I use to guide myself through life. I think people should stand up for themselves when needed and state their opinion if they think it's important.


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## EminentFate (Dec 26, 2013)

Interestingly no ESFPs have replied to this thread..


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## demonblade (Dec 10, 2013)

I've never though of myself being prideful or having a problem with it. If anything I could probably take _more _pride in my work and what I do. I don't show off and I know I don't know everything. I can be pretty critical of myself.


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## dinkytown (Dec 28, 2013)

I have strong confidence in myself, but Ti doesn't let pride blind me into stupid situations. In life, I know when to fold 'em and when to play 'em. If I'm dealt a bad hand, or have very poor odds at success in a situation, I'll quickly cut my losses and avoid losing it all or making myself look like a damn fool. I'll purposely let others win an argument if I feel that doing so betters my chance at achieving my end goal. That's not to say I can't be stubborn if I know I'm right or think I can succeed, but I'll never wade into long-shot situations for the sake of pride alone.


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## Stribog (Jul 13, 2012)

My family has always seen me as prideful; perhaps they are right. However, truly looking at what pride is, I don't feel that I'm prideful. I do however, actively _actively_ _*actively*_ avoid shame...it's a touchy internal thing maybe stemming from growing up poor or something. In practically running away from the potential of feeling shame, I can seem prideful I suppose.


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## boogel (Jul 5, 2014)

EminentFate said:


> Some problems with pride could include things like: showing off, giving out un-needed advice, thinking you know everything, your opinion is the only one that matters, showing off etc
> 
> Of course, I'm an NF so I see those things as problems. You may think of them as a part of life, what are your thoughts?


Hmm. My pride "issues" are more like sticking to my guns when debating and not be able to admit until the next day that the other person's point of view might be better than mine... Or if I have accidentally insulted someone about something that I feel is overreacting I get confused and apologize but definitely not start begging if that person doesn't accept my apologizes.

And I think I'm ESFP.


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