# How do you know, if you've made a best friend?



## Silvem (Jun 3, 2010)

Hey forum.

How do you know, if a friend of yours is suddenly your best friend? Can there be multiple best friends? 

2 years ago i was befriended with my previous best friend and we did lots of stuff together. I don't recall doing much with him, but it was fun. So recently he turned quite dull and passive, so i havent been hanging out with him a lot. At the same time, i've made some new friends and I enjoy their company a lot. I think i have made a new really good friend, but he\she doesnt seem to think the same of me. Do you think you can only have a best friend, if the person, who you think is your best friend, also thinks, that you are his\her best friend? Should I go asking: " Iz i your bestest friendz?" Or is it OK, if i think of him\her as of my best friend without him\her knowing? 

Probably not, but i'm looking forward to your ideas. Also, how many best friends do you have? What do you do with them?


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## Liontiger (Jun 2, 2009)

You can tell if you are a best friend to someone by their actions. In general, they'll tell you things that other people don't know about, actively seek you out to spend time with you, and be there for you when you're having a tough time with something. It usually comes down to how much you trust one another. The thing is, you may never really know if someone considers you their best friend. If you really care about a person, then go ahead and show it. If they don't return the feelings just yet, maybe they will. Relationships don't always form at the same pace for both sides.

I have about 5 best friends, but everyone's different. You may have just one, or you may have more than 5. But generally, I think people tend to keep it in the single digits. There's nothing wrong with having more than one best friend, and I'd go so far as to say it's healthier than having just one. Being able to successfully juggle close relationships is a good skill to have.

As for what I do with my best friends, we pretty much do anything and everything. When we're at college, we eat lunch together, hang out in each others rooms, and go out together. I think what really makes it a best friend relationship is when you can be with a person, not really doing any specific activity, and still have a good time. Just being in their presence can have the effect of making you feel more grounded and happy. You feel comfortable around them, able to let your guard down.

This is all from my personal experience, though. There are bound to be other types of close friendships, as people are all different.


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## Silvem (Jun 3, 2010)

Thanks, i recognized quite a lot from your talk to be as it is with my best friends^^ I've been thinking about this subject for the whole day when i was out with my friends and i feel like my problem has been resolved ^^. I now know who means more than just a friend to me. Thank youu ^^~


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## Outcode (Nov 28, 2009)

I don't think I have any best friends since I moved and I don't think anyone considers me to be their best friend. I keep my distance so nothing bad can happen but at the same time it's kind of saddening.


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## Liontiger (Jun 2, 2009)

I'm glad I could help, Silvem.



Outcode said:


> I don't think I have any best friends since I moved and I don't think anyone considers me to be their best friend. I keep my distance so nothing bad can happen but at the same time it's kind of saddening.


I can tell you that you're missing out. I used to be the same way, having people that I saw casually but didn't share a real connection with. I saw this as a positive thing because it meant I could be flexible and not have to rely on any specific person. When I moved away to college, I made the choice to let people in, and it's been the best thing that's happened to me in a long while. I realize now that the life I led before was incredibly numb, and I wouldn't want to go back to it.


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## Silvem (Jun 3, 2010)

Outcode said:


> I don't think I have any best friends since I moved and I don't think anyone considers me to be their best friend. I keep my distance so nothing bad can happen but at the same time it's kind of saddening.



I don't understand, why one would want to keep distant from other people. I mean, we all need someone to share our happyness or problems with. If you get to trust one as much, that you can share your secrets with him\her, he\she wont turn against you.


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## Angel1412kaitou (Mar 30, 2010)

Silvem said:


> I don't understand, why one would want to keep distant from other people. I mean, we all need someone to share our happyness or problems with. If you get to trust one as much, that you can share your secrets with him\her, he\she wont turn against you.


Bad past experiences, possibly? 
Anyways, a best friend can come from anywhere, even online. 
Lol, when I was numb, that's what I did.


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## Kittie (Jun 5, 2010)

You'll just know when that person's always been there..never was mean to you and all that good stuff. You can have as many best friends as you want. It's different for everyone though..you'll just know in your heart when the time comes.


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## kiwigrl (Apr 27, 2010)

The thing is that I have always been told by friends that I am their best friend, I have not been the one to label it that way, but I'm like well if you like me that much I'm happy. I think we have close friends, casual friends and aquaintances.

A real friend is loyal to you, will want the best for you and the relationship is based on give and take. Communication is important.


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## Socrates (Feb 1, 2010)

If they make you in their top four on MySpace. That's always a good indicator.


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## Outcode (Nov 28, 2009)

Lightning said:


> I can tell you that you're missing out. I used to be the same way, having people that I saw casually but didn't share a real connection with. I saw this as a positive thing because it meant I could be flexible and not have to rely on any specific person. When I moved away to college, I made the choice to let people in, and it's been the best thing that's happened to me in a long while. I realize now that the life I led before was incredibly numb, and I wouldn't want to go back to it.


I let people in, just not all the way. I know what you're talking about, it feels nice.




Silvem said:


> I don't understand, why one would want to keep distant from other people. I mean, we all need someone to share our happyness or problems with. If you get to trust one as much, that you can share your secrets with him\her, he\she wont turn against you.


I share my happiness and problems with some of my friends, however, there isn't one person that I share all of it with.


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## Indigo Aria (Jan 12, 2010)

Silvem said:


> I don't understand, why one would want to keep distant from other people. I mean, we all need someone to share our happyness or problems with. If you get to trust one as much, that you can share your secrets with him\her, he\she wont turn against you.


It's an ISxP thing. We don't generally trust other people and *intensely* dislike dealing with other people's shit.

However... I have stumbled upon two people I can call my best friends...who happen to be an ISTP and an ISFP (?) not sure about the ISFP. But I can't deal with just anyone and was very lucky to find these two. I find that I can't deal with any other people for longer than a short time.


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## Linnifae (Nov 13, 2009)

I have a hard time with this too. I have several friends that I get along with well am able to confide in and it definitely seems like they confide in me too, but I don't think I'm the only friend they have like that, so am I their best friend, or among their best friends? I don't know, but I think I'm happier when I encourage myself not to lable things and just be happy I have people in my life that I can turn to and be there for.


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