# Do I Seem Like an Fi or Fe User?



## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

Sorry if this is too long. Please help me out if you can or if you feel like it. Please also give detailed explanations about whatever you may decide & please be nice & respectful. <3

I know that I'm a Feeler but I can't tell what kind of Feeler I am.

I'm private & I'm not outwardly emotional. My decisions are largely & naturally made with other people in mind if the situation involves other people ( or one other person ) in any kind of way. I have values that I live by, those values are consideration, kindness, respect, sincerity & fairness. I like to be there for people & help them but the help I give isn't always obvious. For example, if I'm in a group discussion & I notice that someone got cut off or it seems like they might feel left out, I'll ask that person a question or something just so they feel heard & included. I also can be helpful in a more tangible way too. I seem to feel responsible for helping other people if I know I'm able to. For example, if someone is saying out loud that they need money, whether they're saying it directly to me or not, I'll feel like I have to give them some of my money if I have enough to give. Now this is done willingly on my end but it also does feel like a responsibility in a way but not in a negative way. There are times when I'm helpful just by being there for people, just listening to them & being accepting. Sometimes I'll let compassion dominate logic. For example, let's just say someone impulsively spent all of the ( spending ) money they had & they saw something else that caught their eye that they REALLY wanted but couldn't buy it due to irresponsible spending. I would most likely give the person some money if I had it, even though they were irresponsible.

Sometimes I can have a problem with the whole tit for tat thing. For example, I don't automatically return inconsideration with inconsideration unless I get REALLY irritated or just plain sick of it. I may do the whole tit for tat thing but I usually don't because of who *I* am. I'm not an inconsiderate person so it would be harder for me to be inconsiderate, even if it's deserved. 

I'm the type of person to withhold something if I know that the people around me don't like it or people in general have a negative view about it. For example, if I like rock music but people are talking bad about rock music, I'll just keep the fact that I like it to myself. I won't lie & say that I don't like rock music, I'll just stay silent. I don't know if that has anything to do with either F though. I care a great deal about what other people think of me & other people's opinions affect me.

Maybe this doesn't have anything to do with either F function but I'm super sensitive & I pay great attention to what is said & the way it's said. I don't like a negative tone. I also don't like when people say rude or mean things to other people & then say they were just being "honest" or "real." I can't stand bluntness, tactlessness & impoliteness. 
This is minor & it doesn't upset me too much but I also don't like it when someone is given a compliment & they don't say thank you.

Last thing, I also like to align myself with whoever I'm with. So for example, if someone & I are going somewhere together & I'm with a person who likes to talk, I won't put my headphones in because that seems rude to me. However, if the person that I'm going somewhere with puts in their headphones & starts listening to their music first, I'll feel free to do the same.

Sorry if anything was confusing or seemed all over the place, please ask any questions if you have any. <3


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## November Rose (Jan 16, 2017)

*Hmm, well you seem Fe to me. I pretty new at this, but things like keeping silent if you're with someone who doesn't like rock music seems Fe. I'm Fi, and I'll say upfront what I like and dislike. I'll be interested to see what other people say.
*


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

November Rose said:


> *Hmm, well you seem Fe to me. I pretty new at this, but things like keeping silent if you're with someone who doesn't like rock music seems Fe. I'm Fi, and I'll say upfront what I like and dislike. I'll be interested to see what other people say.
> *


Thank you so much for replying. <3

I could see how that would maybe look like Fe but the thing that confuses me is that I don't lie & go along with the crowd, I just keep it all inside. I can't tell what that is because it doesn't seem to be going one way or the other. :/


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## crazitaco (Apr 9, 2010)

November Rose said:


> *Hmm, well you seem Fe to me. I pretty new at this, but things like keeping silent if you're with someone who doesn't like rock music seems Fe. I'm Fi, and I'll say upfront what I like and dislike. I'll be interested to see what other people say.
> *


I'm an Fi user and I would just remain silent, silence is a sort of neutral action where I wouldn't have be dishonest with myself or cause conflict. I don't think that's a real indicator of Fe'ness.

I got an Fi vibe from OP, personally. Especially the part about not reacting to inconsideration with more inconsideration because _that's not who they are_. That's something an Fi user would say. Fe tends to "keep tabs" on others and remembers when others aren't pulling their weight. Fe expects for everyone to be on the same page more or less, one person bringing the group down will be seen as disrupting the harmony or "social code."


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

crazitaco said:


> I'm an Fi user and I would just remain silent, silence is a sort of neutral action where I wouldn't have be dishonest with myself or cause conflict. I don't think that's a real indicator of Fe'ness.
> 
> I got an Fi vibe from OP, personally. Especially the part about not reacting to inconsideration with more inconsideration because _that's not who they are_. That's something an Fi user would say. *Fe tends to "keep tabs" on others and remembers when others aren't meeting their expectations.* Fe expects for everyone to be on the same page more or less, one person bringing the group down will be seen as disrupting the harmony or "social code."


I do kind of feel like that too though. :/ I feel like I naturally notice unbalances in things such as who didn't do what for me compared to what I've done for them. I'm not sure if that's what you meant or not.

I definitely see what you mean about me, that statement I made definitely does sound Fi-ish.


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## crazitaco (Apr 9, 2010)

xoElizabethxo said:


> I do kind of feel like that too though. :/ I feel like I naturally notice unbalances in things such as who didn't do what for me compared to what I've done for them. I'm not sure if that's what you meant or not.
> 
> I definitely see what you mean about me, that statement I made definitely does sound Fi-ish.


If its something that comes naturally to you, then you probably use Fe. I do notice when others aren't doing enough for me in return, but I feel that its more of a learned behavior because my Fe mother and sister tends to think that way and I've sort of picked up on that line of thinking from them over the years. But that way of thinking doesn't come naturally to me, and I feel like a jerk and mildly ashamed just for thinking about it and hold little desire to uphold social code on anyone else.


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

crazitaco said:


> If its something that comes naturally to you, then you probably use Fe. I do notice when others aren't doing enough for me in return, but I feel that its more of a learned behavior because my Fe mother and sister tends to think that way and I've sort of picked up on that line of thinking from them over the years. But that way of thinking doesn't come naturally to me, and I feel like a jerk and mildly ashamed just for thinking about it and hold little desire to uphold social code on anyone else.


It is something that comes natural to me but I need to explain to you exactly what *I* mean.

I don't necessarily "keep tabs" on people but I do naturally notice imbalances. For example, if I end up getting the lower end of the stick when I know I always look out for other people, I'm going to notice that & possibly get offended by it. Now, I NEVER do things to get something in return BUT I'm going to notice if a person isn't delivering what I deliver or what I know I'd deliver. I hope you understand what I mean. <3


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## TornadicX (Jan 7, 2015)

Sorry if this is too long. Please help me out if you can or if you feel like it. Please also give detailed explanations about whatever you may decide & please be nice & respectful. <3

I know that I'm a Feeler but I can't tell what kind of Feeler I am.

*I'm private & I'm not outwardly emotional. My decisions are largely & naturally made with other people in mind if the situation involves other people ( or one other person ) in any kind of way. I have values that I live by, those values are consideration, kindness, respect, sincerity & fairness. I like to be there for people & help them but the help I give isn't always obvious. For example, if I'm in a group discussion & I notice that someone got cut off or it seems like they might feel left out, I'll ask that person a question or something just so they feel heard & included.*


1. Fe - The first thing that screams Fe to me is the fact that you said, your decisions are largely and naturally made with other people in mind. (How is this going to affect other people?) Fi would ask first, how is this going to affect me, then look outwardly to see how the situation wouldn't affect THEM and other people. Fe, I think will say, how will this affect other people, then worry about how it's going to affect them. (Which one do you do over the other, if you know?) 

*Last thing, I also like to align myself with whoever I'm with. So for example, if someone & I are going somewhere together & I'm with a person who likes to talk, I won't put my headphones in because that seems rude to me. However, if the person that I'm going somewhere with puts in their headphones & starts listening to their music first, I'll feel free to do the same.
*

2. Fe - The other thing that hits me like Fe is being aware of the way others may feel in a conversational setting where someone gets cut off. You are accommodating in group conversations and in one on one settings. If someone doesn't have headphones while you're out, then you take yours out, too. This is very Fe to me because you are not worried about listening to your music... as much as you are about the other person feeling alone in not having theirs to listen to. Fi wouldn't mind so much, a mismatch like that but Fe works so there's harmony. (Not harmony as in opposed to conflict).. but more like harmony where everything matches up with the other. (Sort of like in a musical piece where all people sing in harmony.) 

*I also can be helpful in a more tangible way too. I seem to feel responsible for helping other people if I know I'm able to. For example, if someone is saying out loud that they need money, whether they're saying it directly to me or not, I'll feel like I have to give them some of my money if I have enough to give. Now this is done willingly on my end but it also does feel like a responsibility in a way but not in a negative way. There are times when I'm helpful just by being there for people, just listening to them & being accepting. Sometimes I'll let compassion dominate logic. For example, let's just say someone impulsively spent all of the ( spending ) money they had & they saw something else that caught their eye that they REALLY wanted but couldn't buy it due to irresponsible spending. I would most likely give the person some money if I had it, even though they were irresponsible.*

3. Fe - You will give of yourself, regardless if you agree with how irresponsible the person was or not. A Fi user might say, I'd never spend all of my money like that, then beg people for something, so I don't think I should give someone my money. (Although Te is the Fi user's inferior/tertiary, it still might show up in the way someone thinks. So, we might see this person as being irresponsible the way we'd see ourselves as irresponsible and therefore, we see ourselves as undeserving of the money.) Fi is empathetic and it likes to think of, "If I was in that situation, what would I do?" Fe, on the other hand is compassionate and doesn't think of itself first. It sees that someone needs help and wants to help without processing anything first. [/B]


B]Sometimes I can have a problem with the whole tit for tat thing. For example, I don't automatically return inconsideration with inconsideration unless I get REALLY irritated or just plain sick of it. I may do the whole tit for tat thing but I usually don't because of who *I* am. I'm not an inconsiderate person so it would be harder for me to be inconsiderate, even if it's deserved. [/B]

4. Fi - Not changing who you are due to what someone else is doing, this is a Fi thing. I agree. Overall, Tit for Tat is a T thing to do. I don't think this is very F in the first place. T functions seem to lean on being 'fair' and that's what Tit-For-Tat is. (If the Tit For Tat is spiteful, then it might be an unhealthy Fe thing. "You didn't do for me what I did for you and I want you to know that I noticed it, so I'm gonna spite you!")

*I'm the type of person to withhold something if I know that the people around me don't like it or people in general have a negative view about it. For example, if I like rock music but people are talking bad about rock music, I'll just keep the fact that I like it to myself. I won't lie & say that I don't like rock music, I'll just stay silent. I don't know if that has anything to do with either F though. I care a great deal about what other people think of me & other people's opinions affect me.*

5.Fe - To me, this sounds Fe but it could also be a Fi user with an Enneagram 9 or someone who doesn't like conflict. The real test/way to tell the two apart would be to ask yourself - If you had no choice but to play the music you wanted to listen to at that moment. Imagine everyone being asked what their favorite music is, one by one.. sitting in a circle. Let's say, you know without a shadow of double that yours is Rock... What would you say? If you everyone was ordered to listen to their favorite music, out-loud, what would you play? Fe users would probably conform and lie as a means to fit in and not be different from the crowd. Fi would probably just go ahead and decide to say Rock and play Rock because it's what they enjoy and Fi wants to be authentic. 

*Maybe this doesn't have anything to do with either F function but I'm super sensitive & I pay great attention to what is said & the way it's said. I don't like a negative tone. I also don't like when people say rude or mean things to other people & then say they were just being "honest" or "real." I can't stand bluntness, tactlessness & impoliteness. 
This is minor & it doesn't upset me too much but I also don't like it when someone is given a compliment & they don't say thank you.*

6. I think that sensitive people in general may pay attention more to tone so I don't think that has to do with a function or that it can't be tied down to a function. Fi users and Fe users might dislike mean or rude people.. bluntness or tactlessness seems like it would come from a Ti/Te dominant or aux.. I don't know if either F would like that. 

Overall, I'd say that you are a Fe user because I see more of that in what you wrote. Most of your paragraph contained more Fe substance than Fi in my perspective. :happy:





*Sorry if anything was confusing or seemed all over the place, please ask any questions if you have any. <3*

I asked questions before I read this. LOL...


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## Ksara (Feb 13, 2014)

xoElizabethxo said:


> Last thing, I also like to align myself with whoever I'm with. So for example, if someone & I are going somewhere together & I'm with a person who likes to talk, I won't put my headphones in because that seems rude to me. However, if the person that I'm going somewhere with puts in their headphones & starts listening to their music first, I'll feel free to do the same.
> 
> Sorry if anything was confusing or seemed all over the place, please ask any questions if you have any. <3


Ok overall I think you are a feeling type as you seem concerned with the human factor.

This, which I have quoted, to me highlights Fe. You are aware of other peoples likes/dislikes and you are adjusting yourself to your environment.

You also mention impoliteness. I think an awareness and adherence to politeness is an Fe characteristic as what is polite is determined by cultural values (this is external to the self).

Also other peoples opinions affect you. Seems you consider what others find acceptable.


I do have a few questions.
Do you find you are quite aware of the mood of the room? If so do you tend to influence this mood (create harmony, but you could also cause tension or change things up quite easily if you chose)?

Are you aware of social roles and do you tend to act within this role as it is appropriate?
An example would be you behave different if you were interacting with your boss vs interacting with your friend.

Are you more often than not adjusting to you group of friends/family/social group/society to figure out what is the right thing to do? Or are you more aware of whats going on within yourself?


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## BlueWings (Jan 27, 2015)

xoElizabethxo said:


> I'm private & I'm not outwardly emotional. My decisions are largely & naturally made with other people in mind if the situation involves other people ( or one other person ) in any kind of way. I have values that I live by, those values are consideration, kindness, respect, sincerity & fairness. I like to be there for people & help them but the help I give isn't always obvious. For example, if I'm in a group discussion & I notice that someone got cut off or it seems like they might feel left out, I'll ask that person a question or something just so they feel heard & included. I also can be helpful in a more tangible way too. I seem to feel responsible for helping other people if I know I'm able to. For example, if someone is saying out loud that they need money, whether they're saying it directly to me or not, I'll feel like I have to give them some of my money if I have enough to give. Now this is done willingly on my end but it also does feel like a responsibility in a way but not in a negative way. There are times when I'm helpful just by being there for people, just listening to them & being accepting.* Sometimes I'll let compassion dominate logic. For example, let's just say someone impulsively spent all of the ( spending ) money they had & they saw something else that caught their eye that they REALLY wanted but couldn't buy it due to irresponsible spending. I would most likely give the person some money if I had it, even though they were irresponsible.*


Seems more like Fe to me because your reasoning provided here seem to imply a Ti principle of rational reasoning that get’s overwritten by Fe’s wish to accommodate peoples immediate needs for the sake of keeping people happy and thereby upholding stable social harmony and connection. 



> Sometimes I can have a problem with the whole tit for tat thing. For example, I don't automatically return inconsideration with inconsideration unless I get REALLY irritated or just plain sick of it. I may do the whole tit for tat thing but I usually don't because of who *I* am. I'm not an inconsiderate person so it would be harder for me to be inconsiderate, even if it's deserved.


Another Fe-Ti principle of «fairness» i.e «someone might deserve inconsiderate treatment, but Fe compels me to ignore reason (Ti) to a certain extent in order to maintain external harmony». While Fi would be more like: «if i’m personally bothered by that persons inconsiderateness Fi might compel me to bite back in order to defend my own (or others) integrity». 



> Maybe this doesn't have anything to do with either F function but I'm super sensitive & I pay great attention to what is said & the way it's said. I don't like a negative tone. I also don't like when people say rude or mean things to other people & then say they were just being "honest" or "real." I can't stand bluntness, tactlessness & impoliteness.


Very Fe resisting the bluntness of Ti. 

Fi values honesty and authenticity above all else, so even though insecurity might make Fi-doms shield themselves from external judgement (inferior Te), they wouldn't compromise what they believe or what they value for the sake of "smoothing over" the atmosphere like Fe does. 

So yeah I'm pretty sure you're an Fe user. Your standpoints in this post at least don't seem very Fi at all.


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

Ksara said:


> Ok overall I think you are a feeling type as you seem concerned with the human factor.
> 
> This, which I have quoted, to me highlights Fe. You are aware of other peoples likes/dislikes and you are adjusting yourself to your environment.
> 
> ...


I'm very much tuned in to the mood of things period, so I'd have to say yes to the first half of your question. As for the second half of your question, I wouldn't say that I tend to influence the mood of a room. I'll pick up on the mood but I won't do anything about it. I'm not really a person who likes to initiate things period or put myself out there.

I do think I'm aware of social roles & tend to act appropriate within those roles. I'm kind to everyone but I'm not going to speak to an authority figure as if they're a friend.

Hmmm, that last question is hard to answer. I feel like I'm aware of what's going on inside of myself but I'm also aware of what's going on outside of myself, especially when it comes to other people & I may respond. I do have my own inner values though that I live by so I guess I'd answer your last question with a no. 

Do you think Fe should manifest in the same way in Dom & Aux personality types? Like do you think an introvert with Fe should look pretty similar to an extrovert with Fe?


Thank you so much for responding.


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

BlueWings said:


> Seems more like Fe to me because your reasoning provided here seem to imply a Ti principle of rational reasoning that get’s overwritten by Fe’s wish to accommodate peoples immediate needs for the sake of keeping people happy and thereby upholding stable social harmony and connection.
> 
> 
> Another Fe-Ti principle of «fairness» i.e «someone might deserve inconsiderate treatment, but Fe compels me to ignore reason (Ti) to a certain extent in order to maintain external harmony». While Fi would be more like: «if i’m personally bothered by that persons inconsiderateness Fi might compel me to bite back in order to defend my own (or others) integrity».


The thing about it though is that I find it hard to repay inconsideration with inconsideration because that's not who I am. Does that make a difference to you? Also, are you saying that Fi would be more likely to speak up about the inconsideration than Fe? 



BlueWings said:


> Very Fe resisting the bluntness of Ti.
> 
> Fi values honesty and authenticity above all else, so even though insecurity might make Fi-doms shield themselves from external judgement (inferior Te), they wouldn't compromise what they believe or what they value for the sake of "smoothing over" the atmosphere like Fe does.


I see what you mean with this & I agree.



BlueWings said:


> So yeah I'm pretty sure you're an Fe user. Your standpoints in this post at least don't seem very Fi at all.


Thank you for your input, I truly do appreciate it. <3


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

darkhippie said:


> 1. Fe - The first thing that screams Fe to me is the fact that you said, your decisions are largely and naturally made with other people in mind. (How is this going to affect other people?) Fi would ask first, how is this going to affect me, then look outwardly to see how the situation wouldn't affect THEM and other people. Fe, I think will say, how will this affect other people, then worry about how it's going to affect them. (Which one do you do over the other, if you know?)


For the most part, I think I make decisions based on how they'll impact others over how they'll impact me.





darkhippie said:


> 2. Fe - The other thing that hits me like Fe is being aware of the way others may feel in a conversational setting where someone gets cut off. You are accommodating in group conversations and in one on one settings. If someone doesn't have headphones while you're out, then you take yours out, too. This is very Fe to me because you are not worried about listening to your music... as much as you are about the other person feeling alone in not having theirs to listen to. Fi wouldn't mind so much, a mismatch like that but Fe works so there's harmony. (Not harmony as in opposed to conflict).. but more like harmony where everything matches up with the other. (Sort of like in a musical piece where all people sing in harmony.)


This makes sense. 



darkhippie said:


> 3. Fe - You will give of yourself, regardless if you agree with how irresponsible the person was or not. A Fi user might say, I'd never spend all of my money like that, then beg people for something, so I don't think I should give someone my money. (Although Te is the Fi user's inferior/tertiary, it still might show up in the way someone thinks. So, we might see this person as being irresponsible the way we'd see ourselves as irresponsible and therefore, we see ourselves as undeserving of the money.) Fi is empathetic and it likes to think of, "If I was in that situation, what would I do?" Fe, on the other hand is compassionate and doesn't think of itself first. It sees that someone needs help and wants to help without processing anything first.


This also makes sense. Someone else told me that this is Fe over Ti which makes sense to me since Fe is about external harmony & Ti is more about being rational & logical. 



darkhippie said:


> 4. Fi - Not changing who you are due to what someone else is doing, this is a Fi thing. I agree.


I think this is very Fi as well. 



darkhippie said:


> Overall, Tit for Tat is a T thing to do. I don't think this is very F in the first place. T functions seem to lean on being 'fair' and that's what Tit-For-Tat is. (If the Tit For Tat is spiteful, then it might be an unhealthy Fe thing. "You didn't do for me what I did for you and I want you to know that I noticed it, so I'm gonna spite you!")


This makes sense & I agree with this.



darkhippie said:


> 5.Fe - To me, this sounds Fe but it could also be a Fi user with an Enneagram 9 or someone who doesn't like conflict. The real test/way to tell the two apart would be to ask yourself - If you had no choice but to play the music you wanted to listen to at that moment. Imagine everyone being asked what their favorite music is, one by one.. sitting in a circle. Let's say, you know without a shadow of double that yours is Rock... What would you say? If you everyone was ordered to listen to their favorite music, out-loud, what would you play? Fe users would probably conform and lie as a means to fit in and not be different from the crowd. Fi would probably just go ahead and decide to say Rock and play Rock because it's what they enjoy and Fi wants to be authentic.


I would probably try to find another type of music that I like & say that one to be honest. If everyone was ordered to listen to their favorite music out loud & mine was rock while everyone around me hated rock, I would play something else that I like.
I don't like conflict, I'm not sure what my Enneagram type is though. I do think it could be 9, 6 or maybe even 4.



darkhippie said:


> 6. I think that sensitive people in general may pay attention more to tone so I don't think that has to do with a function or that it can't be tied down to a function. Fi users and Fe users might dislike mean or rude people.. bluntness or tactlessness seems like it would come from a Ti/Te dominant or aux.. I don't know if either F would like that.


You're right, I agree.



darkhippie said:


> Overall, I'd say that you are a Fe user because I see more of that in what you wrote. Most of your paragraph contained more Fe substance than Fi in my perspective. :happy:


Thank you for responding, EVERY OPINION counts. <3




darkhippie said:


> I asked questions before I read this. LOL...


LOL, I know you did!.. :tongue:


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## Ksara (Feb 13, 2014)

xoElizabethxo said:


> I'm very much tuned in to the mood of things period, so I'd have to say yes to the first half of your question. As for the second half of your question, I wouldn't say that I tend to influence the mood of a room. I'll pick up on the mood but I won't do anything about it. I'm not really a person who likes to initiate things period or put myself out there.
> 
> I do think I'm aware of social roles & tend to act appropriate within those roles. I'm kind to everyone but I'm not going to speak to an authority figure as if they're a friend.
> 
> ...


To me this strongly suggests you use Fe quite a bit.

I think you may be Fe aux. I'm basing this on you don't seem to influence the mood of the group.

Dominant Fe is highly aware of the mood of the group is is very able to influence the emotional energy (it's like they are one with it), and in turn influence peoples actions. These people can be very expressive emotion wise.

Fe aux can do this but not to the same degree. They are more focused on how things also impact themselves emotionally and rather than opt to influence the group, they may instead choose to remove themselves from a negative atmosphere than to directly influence it.

I do not expect an introvert with Fe to act in the same manner as an extravert with Fe. Introverts are attuned to whats happening within themselves first. This could be their thoughts, ideals, feelings, affects, ideas, imagination, etc. 
You do seem on the fence about being aware of what's happening within and outside of yourself. I'm leaning towards IxFJ who has developed their auxiliary function quite well.

I am curious, what aspects are you aware of internally about yourself?


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

Ksara said:


> To me this strongly suggests you use Fe quite a bit.
> 
> I think you may be Fe aux. I'm basing this on you don't seem to influence the mood of the group.
> 
> ...


That REALLY resonates with me. I'm more of the type to remove myself from a negative atmosphere or something than to directly influence it. As I said before, I don't really like to initiate things but when people directly interact with me, I start to use my Feeling function.



Ksara said:


> I do not expect an introvert with Fe to act in the same manner as an extravert with Fe. Introverts are attuned to whats happening within themselves first. This could be their thoughts, ideals, feelings, affects, ideas, imagination, etc.
> You do seem on the fence about being aware of what's happening within and outside of yourself. I'm leaning towards IxFJ who has developed their auxiliary function quite well.
> 
> I am curious, what aspects are you aware of internally about yourself?


I suppose I asked a stupid question when I asked you if you think Fe should manifest the same way in a Dom & Aux user of it. Obviously, an introvert is going to be more to themselves or perhaps more hesitant than an extrovert. The reason I asked the question though is because when I read about the Fe function on its own, it seems like a big part of it is engaging with people & creating social harmony. Not every website makes it a point to point out specifically how it looks in Dom & Aux users of it. I'm introverted so I don't go out of my way to engage with people that much. So then, that leads me to wonder how Fe would look in an IxFJ & if I'm an IxFJ or just an Fi user? It's so confusing to me. 

I used to think that I was an IxFJ. Now, I think I could be one out of three different personality types lol. -_-

What aspects am I aware of internally about myself? Sorry for being stupid but can you give me a specific example about what you mean by this? I'm asking because sometimes, external things give me an internal feeling or thought. 

Thank you for engaging with me on this. <3


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## myjazz (Feb 17, 2010)

xoElizabethxo said:


> That REALLY resonates with me. I'm more of the type to remove myself from a negative atmosphere or something than to directly influence it. As I said before, I don't really like to initiate things but when people directly interact with me, I start to use my Feeling function.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Fe Dom and Fe aux can be different and is just like a Inferior Fe can and is different.

ISFJ seems to fit, I am wondering what exactly is the confusion?


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

myjazz said:


> Fe Dom and Fe aux can be different and is just like a Inferior Fe can and is different.
> 
> ISFJ seems to fit, I am wondering what exactly is the confusion?


I know but I didn't understand exactly how.

Well, first of all, I'm confused about what type of Feeler I am. 

Second of all, I'm confused about what my dominant function is.

I do think I could be an ISFJ but I think I could be a few personality types at this point. ( ISFJ, INFJ, INFP, to a lesser degree, ISFP )

I'm just trying to get as much knowledge as I can so I can know what my type is, that's all.


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## Ksara (Feb 13, 2014)

xoElizabethxo said:


> That REALLY resonates with me. I'm more of the type to remove myself from a negative atmosphere or something than to directly influence it. As I said before, I don't really like to initiate things but when people directly interact with me, I start to use my Feeling function.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yes a lot of sites just focus on the function itself. Few look at it in-between the dom/inferior position.
Socionics gives good descriptions of the function in each position. It is however a different branch of typology.

You seem like an Fe user from what you have stated so far.

Hmm, well I guess this would be perception.
When your are turned inward what kinds of things do you notice? Do you see a lot of images? do you notice how things are similar/different? are you attuned to how the texture/taste/smell/feel of objects affect you? Are you aware of your sense of comfort? Are you lost in you imagination? are you running though events in your head before you do them?
It could be anything really.


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

Ksara said:


> Yes a lot of sites just focus on the function itself. Few look at it in-between the dom/inferior position.
> Socionics gives good descriptions of the function in each position. It is however a different branch of typology.


*Exactly.*



Ksara said:


> You seem like an Fe user from what you have stated so far.
> 
> Hmm, well I guess this would be perception.
> When your are turned inward what kinds of things do you notice? Do you see a lot of images? do you notice how things are similar/different? are you attuned to how the texture/taste/smell/feel of objects affect you? Are you aware of your sense of comfort? Are you lost in you imagination? are you running though events in your head before you do them?
> It could be anything really.


Oh okay, thank you for that, it really helps. 
I'm not that good with visualization & it's something that I wish was better. I don't get vivid images in my head. 
Yes, I really notice how things & people are similar & different. I kind of just notice changes period & these changes could be tangible or intangible. I'm the type to notice when the atmosphere has changed, when the mood has changed & when physical things have changed. If I'm used to something being a certain way or if I got comfortable with the way something has always been, I'm especially going to notice if it changed. 
Yes, I think I'm attuned to textures, tastes & smells. My sense of smell in particular seems to especially be a "thing" for me because certain smells can remind me of certain things or certain times in my life from the past. I feel like I'm almost always reminded of something else whenever I see, hear or smell something, the sense of taste doesn't often trigger anything for me. For example, I'm the type to hear a song & instantly be reminded of another song or someone will say something that instantly reminds me of someone else saying it from somewhere else. This gets heightened if I take a particular liking to someone. For example, if I really like someone & they say that they hate chocolate, any time someone brings up chocolate to me, I'm going to instantly be reminded of how the person I really like said they hate chocolate. This isn't always voiced but I personally feel like I almost always compare things to things I've seen, heard or experienced before.

I'm the type of person who starts to prefer what has been if it has been that way for a long time. The longer something has been a certain way, the more I'm going to prefer it to be that way. This can get confused for me "liking" certain things sometimes. I don't necessarily have to like something to prefer it. It's a comfort factor. I hope that makes sense. 

Hmmm. I'd say I'm also internally aware of what needs to be done in each day so I'll make a mental to do list in my head everyday. I absolutely hate disorganization & chaos in any form so I try to avoid it & having a mental list helps me to do that. 

Sometimes I also think about possibilities in my head, like I'll imagine certain things happening, I do have an imagination. I just don't have a very vivid imagination. 

I'm also VERY aware of people in every sense & I'm very observant in different ways. I don't always tell what I observe. I feel like I'm able to internally know what someone is trying to say even if they're not being straightforward or direct about it. 

I guess that's enough for now, sorry for the rambling lol. Please, if you have any further questions, don't hesitate to ask them.


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## myjazz (Feb 17, 2010)

xoElizabethxo said:


> I know but I didn't understand exactly how.
> 
> Well, first of all, I'm confused about what type of Feeler I am.
> 
> ...


Yes, I understand that and my apologies if what I said was taken the wrong way. I didn't mean anything negative by what I said. I was just curious if there might been a certain detail within this decision of your's. Don't let my comment mean to stop searching, keep pursuing the knowledge that you require 


My apologies again but please stop saying your stupid you seem very bright to me.


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

myjazz said:


> Yes, I understand that and my apologies if what I said was taken the wrong way. I didn't mean anything negative by what I said. I was just curious if there might been a certain detail within this decision of your's. Don't let my comment mean to stop searching, keep pursuing the knowledge that you require
> 
> 
> My apologies again but please stop saying your stupid you seem very bright to me.


Aw, thank you SO much. <3

You didn't actually say anything wrong, I'm just super sensitive so I can take things the wrong way sometimes.

I do think I should stop searching because searching for my type seems super useless but I'm just so darn interested lol.


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## Candy Apple (Sep 10, 2015)

@*xoElizabethxo* I have not read any of the responses here so I'm sorry if I'm repeating anything.

I know that I'm a Feeler but I can't tell what kind of Feeler I am.

I'm private & I'm not outwardly emotional. Introvert. My decisions are largely & naturally made with other people in mind if the situation involves other people ( or one other person ) in any kind of way. Fe - you have an ease for keeping others in mind; you're either an INFJ or ISFJ. Fi is _quick_ to think about their own views first and then they take others into consideration. I have values that I live by, those values are consideration, kindness, respect, sincerity & fairness. I like to be there for people & help them but the help I give isn't always obvious. For example, if I'm in a group discussion & I notice that someone got cut off or it seems like they might feel left out, I'll ask that person a question or something just so they feel heard & included. I also can be helpful in a more tangible way too. I seem to feel responsible for helping other people if I know I'm able to. For example, if someone is saying out loud that they need money, whether they're saying it directly to me or not, I'll feel like I have to give them some of my money if I have enough to give. Now this is done willingly on my end but it also does feel like a responsibility in a way but not in a negative way. Fe - paying particular attention to the circumstances around you (external environment). Fe focuses it's attention on the external environment - they look at what's going on and then decide what to do (usually in the moment). Fi looks internally, figuring it out - how does this situation fit in with my own values and what can I do about it? How can I make this right according to the standards I have set?

Fe has a sounding board outside and Fi has a sounding board inside.

There are times when I'm helpful just by being there for people, just listening to them & being accepting. Sometimes I'll let compassion dominate logic. For example, let's just say someone impulsively spent all of the ( spending ) money they had & they saw something else that caught their eye that they REALLY wanted but couldn't buy it due to irresponsible spending. I would most likely give the person some money if I had it, even though they were irresponsible. This is a good example and I see this kind of thing happening across the board for Fe users. In general I see that they're really catering to and for a person's emotional wellbeing. An Fi user is likely to take stances on certain things and work things out that way - usually by their own standards (so, it _can_ come across as harsh and judgemental but what they're really saying is, 'I've seen such and such happen; I think this is the best way forward _for you'_ by understanding what it would be like if they were in that position - notice how personal they've made it - it's really saying a lot in terms of how they care.

Sometimes I can have a problem with the whole tit for tat thing. For example, I don't automatically return inconsideration with inconsideration unless I get REALLY irritated or just plain sick of it. I may do the whole tit for tat thing but I usually don't because of who *I* am. I'm not an inconsiderate person so it would be harder for me to be inconsiderate, even if it's deserved. 

I'm the type of person to withhold something if I know that the people around me don't like it or people in general have a negative view about it. For example, if I like rock music but people are talking bad about rock music, I'll just keep the fact that I like it to myself. I won't lie & say that I don't like rock music, I'll just stay silent. I don't know if that has anything to do with either F though. An Fi user will feel more distressed about withholding something about themselves. Despite being private, they would like to have the freedom to share _who they are_ as this is something they allow others to do (respecting that everyone has their own values/interests which makes them unique / their own person). While I know an Fe user would love to talk about what they like when they're in the company of people who agree, the fact that they monitor how the people around them are responding to things for the sake of others is a reason they can deal with keeping things to themselves a lot better than Fi users can.

Fe users express emotions and feelings for the sake of the group/people (it also helps themselves) but Fi users want to express individuality - not that they need to stand out from everyone else, but what they want is to say, 'this is what I stand for and I hope you can accept me for who I am. Do you love _me_ as I am?'  Fi is like the core of a person... like concentrated cordial. Oh that was a terrible simile but teehee... 

I care a great deal about what other people think of me & other people's opinions affect me. Both can but the way you say it is like how Fe people say it. And they say it because they're going by external standards so the only way they know how they 'measure up' (sorry if that sounds... bad?) is to see what others think of them. It's a bit like a Te user - they go by widely known standards and procedures (external) and they know when they're not up to standard when what they're doing is not matching up with what is known to be done. So a Te user will weigh logic with external factors and an Fe user will weigh feelings with external factors.

An Fi user looks to their own standard (values) set by themselves to see whether what they're doing lines up. A Ti user will look at their own standard/system set by themselves to see whether what they're doing lines up with their inner logic.

Fi and Fe dom/aux will care about what others think of them but the reasons why they do are different and the ways they react are different. Extra info: an Fi user is prone to isolate themselves when they don't fit in.

Maybe this doesn't have anything to do with either F function but I'm super sensitive & I pay great attention to what is said & the way it's said. It has everything to do with the feeling functions but more so with Fe. While this would concern an Fi user as well, they're focused on the value/reason behind something more than how something is portrayed. Fe users are much more adapt at phrasing things just right for the other person because these are the things they pay attention to... they have different focal points. I don't like a negative tone. I also don't like when people say rude or mean things to other people & then say they were just being "honest" or "real." I can't stand bluntness, tactlessness & impoliteness. Yeah, priority plays a big part here but overall it takes a lot for a non Fe/Fi dom/aux to be tactful and polite in certain situations. xD
This is minor & it doesn't upset me too much but I also don't like it when someone is given a compliment & they don't say thank you. Fe.  It's common curtesy but also an Fe thing to want the goodness to be reflected back. Also, an Fe user will look for this kind of feedback to know where they stand or how they 'measure up' as I was trying to get to before (I don't mean this in a bad way).

Last thing, I also like to align myself with whoever I'm with. This is the external standard I was talking about earlier. So for example, if someone & I are going somewhere together & I'm with a person who likes to talk, I won't put my headphones in because that seems rude to me. However, if the person that I'm going somewhere with puts in their headphones & starts listening to their music first, I'll feel free to do the same.


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## myjazz (Feb 17, 2010)

Candy Apple said:


> Maybe this doesn't have anything to do with either F function but I'm super sensitive & I pay great attention to what is said & the way it's said. It has everything to do with the feeling functions but more so with Fe. While this would concern an Fi user as well, they're focused on the value/reason behind something more than how something is portrayed. Fe users are much more adapt at phrasing things just right for the other person because these are the things they pay attention to... they have different focal points.


I think this is more of a Fe/Ti situation, especially when the it is X-Fe-Ti-X


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## ferroequinologist (Jul 27, 2012)

myjazz said:


> I think this is more of a Fe/Ti situation, especially when the it is X-Fe-Ti-X


Much agreed. To me, what is said is all that matters, not how it's said, and the way it's said. In fact, I worked very closely with an ISFJ fellow, and we often had disagreements on this very line. It was one of the biggest items of tension between us, in fact, and considering how well we worked together, that's saying a lot! Although, to be honest, I'd throw in that it's more an Si-Fe thing That's how, looking back, it impresses itself on my memory.


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## myjazz (Feb 17, 2010)

ferroequinologist said:


> Much agreed. To me, what is said is all that matters, not how it's said, and the way it's said. In fact, I worked very closely with an ISFJ fellow, and we often had disagreements on this very line. It was one of the biggest items of tension between us, in fact, and considering how well we worked together, that's saying a lot! Although, to be honest, I'd throw in that it's more an Si-Fe thing That's how, looking back, it impresses itself on my memory.


imo, this happens mostly due to the fact that Feeling and Thinking is not suppose to intertwine this cause's conflict a lot of time. I agree with Jung that Feeling and Think is like enemies..within someone.

I am curious about the Si-Fe impression, is it possible that your Fi helped cause the implication for Si. In this I mean the Fi-Fe situation that accord was intriguing and different from your own view. Causing this to become associated with Si?


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

Candy Apple said:


> @*xoElizabethxo* I have not read any of the responses here so I'm sorry if I'm repeating anything.


It's okay, I don't care if you were to repeat anything because EVERY SINGLE opinion is truly welcomed by me.  Also, the more people are in agreement about something on here pertaining to me, the closer I feel to finding my answer(s). 



Candy Apple said:


> Introvert.


Yup, I'm a total introvert. :tongue:



Candy Apple said:


> Fe - you have an ease for keeping others in mind; you're either an INFJ or ISFJ. Fi is _quick_ to think about their own views first and then they take others into consideration.


This makes sense.



Candy Apple said:


> Fe - paying particular attention to the circumstances around you (external environment). Fe focuses it's attention on the external environment - they look at what's going on and then decide what to do (usually in the moment). Fi looks internally, figuring it out - how does this situation fit in with my own values and what can I do about it? How can I make this right according to the standards I have set?
> 
> Fe has a sounding board outside and Fi has a sounding board inside.


Yes, this also makes sense to me.



Candy Apple said:


> Sometimes I'll let compassion dominate logic. For example, let's just say someone impulsively spent all of the ( spending ) money they had & they saw something else that caught their eye that they REALLY wanted but couldn't buy it due to irresponsible spending. I would most likely give the person some money if I had it, even though they were irresponsible. This is a good example and I see this kind of thing happening across the board for Fe users. In general I see that they're really catering to and for a person's emotional wellbeing. An Fi user is likely to take stances on certain things and work things out that way - usually by their own standards (so, it _can_ come across as harsh and judgemental but what they're really saying is, 'I've seen such and such happen; I think this is the best way forward _for you'_ by understanding what it would be like if they were in that position - notice how personal they've made it - it's really saying a lot in terms of how they care.


I think I know what you mean here but can I please ask a question? Do you think in such a circumstance, an Fi user would be more likely to say something like "I'm not giving you any money because you were irresponsible" or would that be more of a T thing?



Candy Apple said:


> An Fi user will feel more distressed about withholding something about themselves. Despite being private, they would like to have the freedom to share _who they are_ as this is something they allow others to do (respecting that everyone has their own values/interests which makes them unique / their own person). While I know an Fe user would love to talk about what they like when they're in the company of people who agree, the fact that they monitor how the people around them are responding to things for the sake of others is a reason they can deal with keeping things to themselves a lot better than Fi users can.


This is confusing to me though because in such a circumstance, the Fi user & Fe user look just alike to me. Both are withholding something about themselves because of how others will perceive them? The only difference I see here is that the Fi user would be more likely to feel distressed about it but they're still choosing to do it because of the views of other people?



Candy Apple said:


> I care a great deal about what other people think of me & other people's opinions affect me. Both can but the way you say it is like how Fe people say it. And they say it because they're going by external standards so the only way they know how they 'measure up' (sorry if that sounds... bad?)


 This makes perfect sense & it doesn't sound bad to me. I know just what you mean.  



Candy Apple said:


> is to see what others think of them. It's a bit like a Te user - they go by widely known standards and procedures (external) and they know when they're not up to standard when what they're doing is not matching up with what is known to be done. So a Te user will weigh logic with external factors and an Fe user will weigh feelings with external factors.
> 
> An Fi user looks to their own standard (values) set by themselves to see whether what they're doing lines up. A Ti user will look at their own standard/system set by themselves to see whether what they're doing lines up with their inner logic.
> *Fi and Fe dom/aux will care about what others think of them but the reasons why they do are different and the ways they react are different. Extra info: an Fi user is prone to isolate themselves when they don't fit in.*


Sorry to be a bother but do you think you could give me a specific example of what you think an Fi user would care about ( regarding what other people think of them ) & why & how they'd most likely go about it?



Candy Apple said:


> Maybe this doesn't have anything to do with either F function but I'm super sensitive & I pay great attention to what is said & the way it's said. It has everything to do with the feeling functions but more so with Fe. While this would concern an Fi user as well, they're focused on the value/reason behind something more than how something is portrayed. *Fe users are much more adapt at phrasing things just right for the other person because these are the things they pay attention to... they have different focal points.*


I'm really like this.



Candy Apple said:


> Fe.  It's common curtesy but also an Fe thing to want the goodness to be reflected back. Also, an Fe user will look for this kind of feedback to know where they stand or how they 'measure up' as I was trying to get to before (I don't mean this in a bad way).


I know you don't mean this in a bad way, it's okay.  I completely understand what you're saying here. 

Thank you for your input! ^_^


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## BlueWings (Jan 27, 2015)

xoElizabethxo said:


> The thing about it though is that I find it hard to repay inconsideration with inconsideration because that's not who I am. Does that make a difference to you?


I mean, the reason we even have function preferences is because it is our main point of view of reality, and then we identify with that perspective. So in a way any function would say "that's not who I am" to their inferior counterpart (when resisting it). Fi isn't just about identity, and everyone has an ego. In my humble opinion, both F functions are equally likely to dislike people not considering the feelings of others, the angle of their perspective and the process behind what compels them to make a value judgement is just different. At the same time, in an unhealthy state, both F functions in a dominant position can also be inconsiderate themselves.



> Also, are you saying that Fi would be more likely to speak up about the inconsideration than Fe?


I think the example I used was more to how an Fi user would be defensive in a more unhealthy (inconsiderate) manner since that was the topic at hand. So no.

Analyzing behaviour in a very specific situation isn't exactly the easiest way to distinguish functions. If you're unsure about your dominant function (or auxiliary for that matter), you can make it easier by comparing the inferior ones to each other. It is also way easier to compare function pairs, e.g. Fi-Te vs. Fe-Ti. 



> Thank you for your input, I truly do appreciate it. <3


No problem. I'm no expert, but participating in forums is really just my way of solidifying my understanding of the theory.


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

BlueWings said:


> I mean, the reason we even have function preferences is because it is our main point of view of reality, and then we identify with that perspective. So in a way any function would say "that's not who I am" to their inferior counterpart (when resisting it). Fi isn't just about identity, and everyone has an ego. In my humble opinion, both F functions are equally likely to dislike people not considering the feelings of others, the angle of their perspective and the process behind what compels them to make a value judgement is just different. At the same time, in an unhealthy state, both F functions in a dominant position can also be inconsiderate themselves.
> 
> I think the example I used was more to how an Fi user would be defensive in a more unhealthy (inconsiderate) manner since that was the topic at hand. So no.
> 
> Analyzing behaviour in a very specific situation isn't exactly the easiest way to distinguish functions. If you're unsure about your dominant function (or auxiliary for that matter),


You're right. I guess I just need to stop nitpicking when it comes to this whole thing lol. I'm just so confused. Everybody has something different to say about one thing.



BlueWings said:


> you can make it easier by comparing the inferior ones to each other. It is also way easier to compare function pairs, e.g. Fi-Te vs. Fe-Ti.


I agree & I have tried to do this but perhaps not as much as I should.



BlueWings said:


> No problem. I'm no expert, but participating in forums is really just my way of solidifying my understanding of the theory.


I know what you mean & it's always welcomed & appreciated by me. <3


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## ferroequinologist (Jul 27, 2012)

myjazz said:


> imo, this happens mostly due to the fact that Feeling and Thinking is not suppose to intertwine this cause's conflict a lot of time. I agree with Jung that Feeling and Think is like enemies..within someone.
> 
> I am curious about the Si-Fe impression, is it possible that your Fi helped cause the implication for Si. In this I mean the Fi-Fe situation that accord was intriguing and different from your own view. Causing this to become associated with Si?


The reason I say Si is probably a bit different than you may be expecting. I say what I'm about to say from personal experience with the various types which exhibit the various perceiving functions, but it seems to hold true as I "test" it in real life. ;-)

I see that frequently the perceiving functions manifest themselves in people by their probing questions. One question that seems to rule in Si types, in particular Si dominants is this, "What should I do?" It focuses on the "proper" way of doing things. Not just socially proper, but, for instance, the one best way to load a dishwasher, and it will always strive to do this. (I do this too, but our dishwasher is small, and I learned over time that some things don't wash well if they are in a certain way or place, so experience has shown me the better way to do things... but I don't insist that my kids slavishly follow my example, as if it is the "one, true" way). I have observed that Si types build up a repertoire of actions and behavior and manners that tend to become the "shoulds" of doing. One of those that tends to exist across all SJ types is what @xoElizabethxo said, "Maybe this doesn't have anything to do with either F function but I'm super sensitive & I pay great attention to what is said & the way it's said." I've had ESTJ types say this sort of thing to me as well as ISFJs. 

Looking back over this thread, I noticed a statement, also by @xoElizabethxo, regarding listening to music. I wanted to share an illustration from my daughter. She's an Fe-dominant--ENFJ. She's engaged to an ISFP. Sometimes, when getting in the car, if he's listening to music she doesn't like, she'll change it. I don't know if she asks or not first--knowing her, she does, but changes it anyway. But one day, after doing this, he asked her, "Do you know what of your music I don't like?" She thought a moment, and realized no, and said so. He answered, "precisely." 

This may take a bit of unpacking, so let me explain. As ISFPs, we treasure our freedom, but we also treasure your freedom. We won't tell you what to do, but we expect you to honor that same respect in regards to us. Now, to understand this a little bit better, let me phrase it this way. To Fe types focus on external harmony or vibes. To them, the the environment around them is where their focus is. For Fi types, it is internal. 

So, an Fe type will focus on what is happening around them, so, for instance, if someone is playing music that they think others won't like (or they, themselves), they are more likely to ask--or to want to ask--the person to turn it off, change it or turn it down, and if they don't feel free to ask, that will interfere with their mood. They will feel awkward and constrained. Here is where there is a difference between Fe dominant and auxiliary types. The Fe dominant seldom fears expressing their desires and wishes. They just assume that others, once they know, will be willing to comply, whereas introverted Fe types may hesitate to speak up, or simply not, and suffer, but their attention is taken by the outer turmoil, or rather, the turmoil between the outer and inner. 

Fi-dominants, on the other hand, consider it a person's prerogative to listen to what he or she wants, so long, for instance, as they are the driver, or one who has a right to choose. (for instance, I don't know many Fi dominants who would want to listen to a loud boombox in a bus). They also consider it the same prerogative of others in the same situation. You could say that they would prefer the external chaos or lack of harmony between the inner and outer, in order for others to be given the same respect they would expect to receive. In fact, for myself, at least, if I felt it necessary to speak up, and ask someone to turn down the music, it is this _act_ that would make me feel guilty, as I would be placing myself above the other person. And then, in the ensuing silence, that silence would continue to add to my guilt. Thus, in such a situation, the turmoil is now reversed! There is now outer peace or harmony, but inner turmoil because of the enforced peace. 

The problem comes with IXFJs, because they are far less likely to speak up--just like an Fi dominant won't speak up, but causes of the inner turmoil that is vastly different--diametrically opposite, in fact. HTH


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## Candy Apple (Sep 10, 2015)

xoElizabethxo said:


> I think I know what you mean here but can I please ask a question? Do you think in such a circumstance, an Fi user would be more likely to say something like "I'm not giving you any money because you were irresponsible" or would that be more of a T thing?


I think that's quite a harsh response if that's the first time it happened (but it's hard to read the tone from writing ). I think it's a Te response in terms of practicality but the harshness of it is from Fi (just because a person is an Fi dom/aux doesn't mean they're going to be nice all the time xD). There are much more useful Te responses they could come up with, like a feasible plan to get them out of such a situation or to prevent it from happening again. Fi and whatever other functions they have would come up with a nice way to communicate that plan to the other person. Of course I'm saying plan because... I use Te... and my Te is higher up in my stack than Fi... so if you were talking about what an Fi dom/aux would do - I don't know but I'm sure they would definitely try to help the person out, but most probably in a different way to an Fe user, or at least what they address immediately might be different - in the end, who knows, they might both fork out money. 

When Fi doms don't want to do something yet think they should do something, there's quite an evident look of turmoil on their faces. Fe users don't come across that way to me. Fi doms have this... uncomfortable look to them when they're struggling internally - even when they don't want to show it. Fe doms have more ease with expression - even if they're trying to tell you they don't want to do something and even if they think it's going to hurt you - they'll be very careful but they won't come off looking 'pained'.  You've got to see it to know what I'm talking about. 



> This is confusing to me though because in such a circumstance, the Fi user & Fe user look just alike to me. Both are withholding something about themselves because of how others will perceive them? The only difference I see here is that the Fi user would be more likely to feel distressed about it but they're still choosing to do it because of the views of other people?


(I think the Fi user might keep quiet because they don't want to feel judged but an Fe user might want to keep quiet because of what the group thinks about it in general and they're surveying group atmosphere and thoughts/cares.)

Yup, but an Fi or Fe user could still choose to speak up because Fi or Fe can't tie a person down to act a certain way all the time as Fi and Fe just indicate certain preferences or thought processes but the circumstance a person is put in can call for them to choose whatever option of doing or saying something, despite their function.

So overall it doesn't really matter if an Fi user ends up looking like an Fe user on occasion - overtime you can notice the thought patterns they go through because of the actions they make and what you hear them voice as their concerns and that will help you determine whether someone uses Fi or Fe.

The positions of Fi and Fe change the "appearance"/"attitude"/"demeanour" of a person. Ah but I'm too lazy to go into detail... maybe someone else can tell you what these people appear like... but like... a dom Fe user is going to behave very differently to an aux Fe user.



> Sorry to be a bother but do you think you could give me a specific example of what you think an Fi user would care about ( regarding what other people think of them ) & why & how they'd most likely go about it?


(I'm not sure if what I've written is specific enough.)

I'll talk about INFPs. They're sensitive to people's feelings and some of their concerns are like those of Fe users but when it comes to how they are perceived by others, they want to feel 'unconditionally' accepted for who they are (like their uniqueness) and they want to feel understood (as they are). In a sense, they want to be different but at the same time, accepted and 'fit in' - just not into other people's molds. They want to stand up for what they believe in, and want others to stand up for their own beliefs.

Fi doms usually concentrate their care on selected groups of people or individuals who are close to them so you might find them rallying for certain humanitarian causes or standing up for minorities. They stand up for things that are important to them (the values they hold dear). An INFP who chooses not to use Te very much is likely to sprout off ideas (Fi-Ne) of how to stand up for these groups or support them but won't take much 'real' action - mostly words (that's the way it comes across to me as a Te aux user). You might find them posting things on Facebook.

Fe on the other hand is not so selective. They generally want emotional connections with others and go about surveying and affecting interpersonal feelings and the emotional atmosphere around them. Fe doms are usually open to connecting with anyone (in general, not as specific as Fi users) but Fe aux users go about this in a slightly different way to Fe doms because Fe aux users have a dominant introverted function. An Fe aux user is going to try to be nice to everyone in general but who they spend their time on and care for is 'selective' (in a different sense) because they can only spend so much time with so and so before they need to recharge again (but they're quite selfless people in general). Fe is more about 'feels' expressed in a way that is seen as acceptable to society. An Fi user can be as weird and personalised as they want (not that they can't be normal). 

_From my experience_ with INFPs (their combination of Fi-Ne makes them seem quite different to ISFPs but I won't focus on ISFPs because I don't know too much about them) and Fe dom/aux users, INFPs show critical harshness towards themselves when they're not living by a certain value of theirs and show a lot of self-doubt when they perceive they aren't living up to others' expectations of them. They don't really seem to bring up this topic in a 'let me check with you way and believe what you say' - it's more like they're already convinced that this is so and they're just stating to you how they think you perceive them. Their thoughts keep bouncing back to themselves - they are their own sounding board - not you.

Fe users frequently check up with how other people observe them, wanting to make sure they said something in a nice and considerate way. When they ask they actually take on board what you say - people are their sounding board. Here's part of a conversation I picked up yesterday... 
INFJ: Did that sound mean?
ISFP: *long pause* are you even capable of sounding mean?
//me sitting in the background overhearing// 'So INFJ. :tongue:'


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## myjazz (Feb 17, 2010)

ferroequinologist said:


> The reason I say Si is probably a bit different than you may be expecting. I say what I'm about to say from personal experience with the various types which exhibit the various perceiving functions, but it seems to hold true as I "test" it in real life. ;-)


Actually I got CF's mixed up, sorry about that >.<


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## ferroequinologist (Jul 27, 2012)

Candy Apple said:


> There are much more useful Te responses they could come up with, like a feasible plan to get them out of such a situation or to prevent it from happening again. Fi and whatever other functions they have would come up with a nice way to communicate that plan to the other person. Of course I'm saying plan because... I use Te... '


ISFPs repress Te, so coming up with a feasible plan is not going to be their "go to" response. I would just tell them they were irresponsible, and they should have thought ahead and not been so careless. 

Edit: I should have added that I would probably also add that they should learn a lesson from this for the future.  But I tend to express myself verbally (at least spoken language) far more harshly than what I feel. I could be feeling really sorry for the bloke, and really want to be helping him, but I'd still say what I said above.


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## Candy Apple (Sep 10, 2015)

ferroequinologist said:


> ISFPs repress Te, so coming up with a feasible plan is not going to be their "go to" response. I would just tell them they were irresponsible, and they should have thought ahead and not been so careless.
> 
> Edit: I should have added that I would probably also add that they should learn a lesson from this for the future.  But I tend to express myself verbally (at least spoken language) far more harshly than what I feel. I could be feeling really sorry for the bloke, and really want to be helping him, but I'd still say what I said above.


I was thinking about what I said about Te (for the INFP part further down) I knew I didn't phrase it right... but couldn't think of a better way. xD Talking about how Te is repressed would have been a good way to go about it.

Thanks for the info!


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## ferroequinologist (Jul 27, 2012)

Candy Apple said:


> I was thinking about what I said about Te (for the INFP part further down) I knew I didn't phrase it right... but couldn't think of a better way. xD Talking about how Te is repressed would have been a good way to go about it.
> 
> Thanks for the info!


I'm ashamed to say that I didn't even read your whole post... which was breaking a kind of a cardinal rule of mine, to always read a post to the end, and make sure I understand it before responding. Sorry. But I didn't really try to even read your post. The part I quoted caught my eye, and I could see that you were trying to say something, so I thought I'd toss in my half-a-cent. But in the end, it dovetails nicely, it seems, with the whole tenor of your post (now that I've read it). So I guess--and hope--no harm done. :blushed:


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## Candy Apple (Sep 10, 2015)

ferroequinologist said:


> I'm ashamed to say that I didn't even read your whole post... which was breaking a kind of a cardinal rule of mine, to always read a post to the end, and make sure I understand it before responding. Sorry. But I didn't really try to even read your post. The part I quoted caught my eye, and I could see that you were trying to say something, so I thought I'd toss in my half-a-cent. But in the end, it dovetails nicely, it seems, with the whole tenor of your post (now that I've read it). So I guess--and hope--no harm done. :blushed:


No harm at all! I'm glad you responded and I've always enjoyed reading your posts.


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## Depth (Jan 31, 2017)

I think you are a Fe user.


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## Ksara (Feb 13, 2014)

xoElizabethxo said:


> *Exactly.*
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Ok so you seem very aware of your sense. And you seem very aware of people.
Now you seem aware of sense perception in regards to how physical states change and you seem aware of what is comfortable (and this is distinguished from like). You also seem very aware of personal details (such as your friend really liking chocolate). I'm getting Si which fits well for ISFJ.

Also MBTI wise, your mental to do list and wanting to be organised seems like a J trait.


Do these possibilities tend to take on a negative light? Such as when things go wrong and you feel stressed, do you tend to imagine worst scenarios? To the point where after the event has passed you realise it wasn't as bad as you thought it was going to be?


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## MusiCago (Jan 3, 2017)

Welcome back  you are definitely an IFJ, it was proven on my thread too based on how you talk (or type I should say) and your attitude toward decisions. For instance, you said you really hate leaving things unfinished and you like to get things decided, only to second guess yourself afterwards (very Je like.) The last step to determing your type is if your are a Ni-Se user or an Si-Ne user. What do you do in your day to day life? How do you see the external world? What do you feel like you're unconsciously doing most of the time?


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

Candy Apple said:


> I think that's quite a harsh response if that's the first time it happened (but it's hard to read the tone from writing ). I think it's a Te response in terms of practicality but the harshness of it is from Fi (just because a person is an Fi dom/aux doesn't mean they're going to be nice all the time xD). There are much more useful Te responses they could come up with, like a feasible plan to get them out of such a situation or to prevent it from happening again. Fi and whatever other functions they have would come up with a nice way to communicate that plan to the other person. Of course I'm saying plan because... I use Te... and my Te is higher up in my stack than Fi... so if you were talking about what an Fi dom/aux would do - I don't know but I'm sure they would definitely try to help the person out, but most probably in a different way to an Fe user, or at least what they address immediately might be different - in the end, who knows, they might both fork out money.
> 
> When Fi doms don't want to do something yet think they should do something, there's quite an evident look of turmoil on their faces. Fe users don't come across that way to me. Fi doms have this... uncomfortable look to them when they're struggling internally - even when they don't want to show it. Fe doms have more ease with expression - even if they're trying to tell you they don't want to do something and even if they think it's going to hurt you - they'll be very careful but they won't come off looking 'pained'.  You've got to see it to know what I'm talking about.
> 
> (I think the Fi user might keep quiet because they don't want to feel judged but an Fe user might want to keep quiet because of what the group thinks about it in general and they're surveying group atmosphere and thoughts/cares.)


This makes sense to me.



Candy Apple said:


> Yup, but an Fi or Fe user could still choose to speak up because Fi or Fe can't tie a person down to act a certain way all the time as Fi and Fe just indicate certain preferences or thought processes but the circumstance a person is put in can call for them to choose whatever option of doing or saying something, despite their function.
> So overall it doesn't really matter if an Fi user ends up looking like an Fe user on occasion - overtime you can notice the thought patterns they go through because of the actions they make and what you hear them voice as their concerns and that will help you determine whether someone uses Fi or Fe.


So all in all, you'd have to really observe a person to know for sure and/or ask them what their motivations/intentions are. 



Candy Apple said:


> The positions of Fi and Fe change the "appearance"/"attitude"/"demeanour" of a person. Ah but I'm too lazy to go into detail... maybe someone else can tell you what these people appear like... but like... a dom Fe user is going to behave very differently to an aux Fe user.


This makes sense & haha, all good. 



Candy Apple said:


> (I'm not sure if what I've written is specific enough.)


You're good. 



Candy Apple said:


> I'll talk about INFPs. They're sensitive to people's feelings and some of their concerns are like those of Fe users but when it comes to how they are perceived by others, they want to feel 'unconditionally' accepted for who they are (like their uniqueness) and they want to feel understood (as they are). In a sense, they want to be different but at the same time, accepted and 'fit in' - just not into other people's molds. They want to stand up for what they believe in, and want others to stand up for their own beliefs.
> 
> Fi doms usually concentrate their care on selected groups of people or individuals who are close to them so you might find them rallying for certain humanitarian causes or standing up for minorities. They stand up for things that are important to them (the values they hold dear). An INFP who chooses not to use Te very much is likely to sprout off ideas (Fi-Ne) of how to stand up for these groups or support them but won't take much 'real' action - mostly words (that's the way it comes across to me as a Te aux user). You might find them posting things on Facebook.


All of this makes perfect sense to me, especially when I compare it to what I know & read about the functions. 



Candy Apple said:


> Fe on the other hand is not so selective. They generally want emotional connections with others and go about surveying and affecting interpersonal feelings and the emotional atmosphere around them. Fe doms are usually open to connecting with anyone (in general, not as specific as Fi users) but Fe aux users go about this in a slightly different way to Fe doms because Fe aux users have a dominant introverted function.* An Fe aux user is going to try to be nice to everyone in general but who they spend their time on and care for is 'selective' *


Hmmm, I feel like I relate to this VERY well.



Candy Apple said:


> (in a different sense) because they can only spend so much time with so and so before they need to recharge again (but they're quite selfless people in general). Fe is more about 'feels' expressed in a way that is seen as acceptable to society. An Fi user can be as weird and personalised as they want (not that they can't be normal).


Let me ask you a question though. If someone is very kind to everyone & they share their things with everyone but go a little bit further for those in their inner circle, does such a person seem more like a Dom Fi user or an aux Fe user? I'm asking because I'm like this. I know either can probably be like that but who do you think is more likely to be like that? Maybe I'm being too particular again lol. :/



Candy Apple said:


> _From my experience_ with INFPs (their combination of Fi-Ne makes them seem quite different to ISFPs but I won't focus on ISFPs because I don't know too much about them) and Fe dom/aux users, INFPs show critical harshness towards themselves when they're not living by a certain value of theirs and show a lot of self-doubt when they perceive they aren't living up to others' expectations of them. They don't really seem to bring up this topic in a 'let me check with you way and believe what you say' - it's more like they're already convinced that this is so and they're just stating to you how they think you perceive them. Their thoughts keep bouncing back to themselves - they are their own sounding board - not you.
> 
> Fe users frequently check up with how other people observe them, wanting to make sure they said something in a nice and considerate way. When they ask they actually take on board what you say - people are their sounding board. Here's part of a conversation I picked up yesterday...
> INFJ: Did that sound mean?
> ...


The things people say matter to me more than they might be aware of. I hear what people say, read what people say & start considering making adjustments to my inner world or I'll seriously ponder or think about what was said. For example, when society decides that wearing something isn't cool anymore, I start to feel personally targeted if I still wear that thing they no longer think is cool. Then, I'll start to feel like maybe I should stop wearing it. People seem to have this way of making me feel stupid & inferior even if they're not trying to but that's probably because I'm too sensitive & have a poor sense of self to some degree.

This is kind of off topic but I wanted to share this. There was one day when I was talking to someone about how they should & shouldn't act & after a while, they kind of saw it like I was trying to control them or dictate to them what to do. I made it clear that wasn't my intention at all, I just cared about them so I was trying to help, I wanted them to stop doing certain things so that they'd have an easier time with others. Does this seem more Fi or Fe to you on my end? ( There I go, being all particular again lol. )

Thank you so much for taking time out to respond to me. <3 I know I'm not the easiest to talk to sometimes because I can ask too many questions & I don't understand things as fast as I should sometimes.


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

Depth said:


> I think you are a Fe user.


 Thank you for this input! <3


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

Ksara said:


> Ok so you seem very aware of your sense. And you seem very aware of people.
> Now you seem aware of sense perception in regards to how physical states change and you seem aware of what is comfortable (and this is distinguished from like). You also seem very aware of personal details (such as your friend really liking chocolate). I'm getting Si which fits well for ISFJ.
> 
> Also MBTI wise, your mental to do list and wanting to be organised seems like a J trait.
> ...


I don't really think I tend to imagine worst case scenarios that much unless I'm faced with an unknown or unfamiliar situation. Then again, I'm kind of out of touch with myself so I can't even say for sure. Now in such times, sometimes I do find that things weren't as bad as I thought they'd be BUT sometimes I can also find that I had every right to be scared lol.

I just got reminded of something, I don't know if it'll help or not but I'll share it anyway just in case. I absolutely HATE when I have to face an unfamiliar or unknown situation & no one is there to help me or guide me along. I know this makes me sound like a child lol but I'm just being honest. It's like someone just pushes you out in the middle of NOWHERE & says "FIGURE IT OUT." Omg, I HATE that.

Also, back to your question about possibilities taking on a negative light, I guess they can sometimes. One of my biggest fears is being randomly attacked by someone & this fear is irrational in the sense that such a thing never happened to me before to make me have such a fear. However, the world is crazy & spontaneous so you never know what could happen. I'm kind of paranoid in that way, like, I don't like to be completely alone out of fear that someone might try to attack me & sometimes it gets irrational on my end. So I guess that's an example of possibilities going haywire? However, I also see possibilities in a healthy way as well. For example, if someone says they think someone did something for a certain reason, I'm the type to say something like "well, you don't know if they did it for that reason, they could've done it for another reason" or something like that.

Thank you for your help. <3


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

MusiCago said:


> Welcome back


Thank you. <3



MusiCago said:


> you are definitely an IFJ, it was proven on my thread too based on how you talk (or type I should say) and your attitude toward decisions. For instance, you said you really hate leaving things unfinished and you like to get things decided, only to second guess yourself afterwards (very Je like.) The last step to determing your type is if your are a Ni-Se user or an Si-Ne user.


Yeah see, I don't know. :/ 



MusiCago said:


> What do you do in your day to day life? How do you see the external world?


Sorry but I don't know exactly what you mean by this? Do you think you could be a bit more specific? Sorry, I hate it when I can't understand what a person is saying. :/ What do you mean by how do I SEE the external world? 



MusiCago said:


> What do you feel like you're unconsciously doing most of the time?


 As for this question, it's kind of hard to answer because of the very definition of the word unconscious. If I'm unconsciously doing something, I'm probably not going to be able to consciously detect it, right? I guess I can kind of answer this question. There have been times when I'd be in my head in such a way where I'm imagining certain things happening that haven't happened before, like a scenario of some sort. Then, I'd catch myself doing it & try to stop lol. Is that what you mean?


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## Ksara (Feb 13, 2014)

xoElizabethxo said:


> I don't really think I tend to imagine worst case scenarios that much unless I'm faced with an unknown or unfamiliar situation. Then again, I'm kind of out of touch with myself so I can't even say for sure. Now in such times, sometimes I do find that things weren't as bad as I thought they'd be BUT sometimes I can also find that I had every right to be scared lol.
> 
> I just got reminded of something, I don't know if it'll help or not but I'll share it anyway just in case. I absolutely HATE when I have to face an unfamiliar or unknown situation & no one is there to help me or guide me along. I know this makes me sound like a child lol but I'm just being honest. It's like someone just pushes you out in the middle of NOWHERE & says "FIGURE IT OUT." Omg, I HATE that.
> 
> ...


hmm.
I'm essentially probing for inferior Ne. This may be apparent when you are in a completely new situation. Ne dom would love such an opportunity as it is new, unstructured and uncharted. Anything is possible.
You seem more at the opposite end where you prefer what is familiar and comfortable to you. New is scary as you don't have that map of what 'should' be done.

This could point towards ISFJ in mbti.

However your are able to see things from other peoples perspective (or entertain the possibility).

Lets see which you relate more to:

Do you relate to having an extreme dislike for uncertainty, find it difficult to adjust to unforeseen changes, can be annoyed by indecisive individuals, and prefer a lifestyle that is stable? Do you also find it difficult dealing with situations that have many possibilities involved? You prefer things straight forwards and grounded, avoiding what is highly conceptual? 

or

Do you relate more to finding it difficult to make judgments based on how efficient things are? That is you prefer to work at your pace and really struggle with assimilating lots of factual information? Do you find you are just uninterested in methodical details and much prefer to focus on the emotional experience? Do you find you are skeptical of the knowledge others have that don't come from their own personal experience?


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

Ksara said:


> hmm.
> I'm essentially probing for inferior Ne. This may be apparent when you are in a completely new situation. Ne dom would love such an opportunity as it is new, unstructured and uncharted. Anything is possible.
> You seem more at the opposite end where you prefer what is familiar and comfortable to you. New is scary as you don't have that map of what 'should' be done.
> 
> ...


I know that tests are unreliable but ISFJ was the very first personality type that I ever got on a test & I remember relating to the description. It's not that I don't relate to ISFJ, it's just that I relate to other personality types as well & I can't tell which I relate to the most. :/



Ksara said:


> Lets see which you relate more to:
> 
> Do you relate to having an extreme dislike for uncertainty, find it difficult to adjust to unforeseen changes, can be annoyed by indecisive individuals, and prefer a lifestyle that is stable? Do you also find it difficult dealing with situations that have many possibilities involved? You prefer things straight forwards and grounded, avoiding what is highly conceptual?
> 
> ...


I think I'd have to agree with the first paragraph more than the second paragraph. I'm a little anxious to see what each one corresponded with.

I seem to have a love/hate relationship with possibilities. On the one hand, I can see things from another person's perspective & entertain possibilities in a healthy manner but on the other hand, possibilities can be very irritating when there are too many. I'm a person who wants closure so that's what I seek to get but then annoying possibilities get in the way. -_-
Too many possibilities make me feel like I can't make a decision & therein lies the problem due to my hunger for closure.


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

Ksara said:


> hmm.
> I'm essentially probing for inferior Ne. This may be apparent when you are in a completely new situation. Ne dom would love such an opportunity as it is new, unstructured and uncharted. Anything is possible.
> You seem more at the opposite end where you prefer what is familiar and comfortable to you. New is scary as you don't have that map of what 'should' be done.
> 
> ...


Also, I wanted to add one more thing. I'm the type of person who needs clear, detailed instructions on how to do something. I'm not sure if that's helpful or not but hopefully it is.


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## Ksara (Feb 13, 2014)

xoElizabethxo said:


> Also, I wanted to add one more thing. I'm the type of person who needs clear, detailed instructions on how to do something. I'm not sure if that's helpful or not but hopefully it is.


MBTI wise I am leaning towards ISFJ for you.

Not N. The iNtuitive type is much more at home with the 'what ifs'. They prefer to infer or fill in the gaps. Paying attention to details and following a straight forwards proceeder is constricting and suffocating for them. 
Those who favour Ne will likely deviate from the procedure and experiment to see what happens and create something new.
Ni is likely to guess what the end of the procedure is supposed to look like and follow their own path to achieve this.

Wanting to make a decision is a J tendency.

I'm getting Ne is a pain in the butt for you, but you don't completely avoid it.

How do you feel about ISFP or ESFJ? Do you find you relate to these types as well?


I was looking at what you find as the 'bane' of your existence. More so PoLR from a socionics point of view.

Hmm, do you relate more to missing the connection between things. Like if things aren't laid out in order or something is missing, this frustrates yo to no end? Do you also find it irritating or anxious when people aren't focussing on what's happening in the here and now? It's even also really annoying when people can't follow a schedule, and are late, or you can find it difficult to estimate how long something will take so you always leave plenty of time and arrive really early to things?


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

Ksara said:


> MBTI wise I am leaning towards ISFJ for you.
> 
> Not N. The iNtuitive type is much more at home with the 'what ifs'. They prefer to infer or fill in the gaps. Paying attention to details and following a straight forwards proceeder is constricting and suffocating for them.
> Those who favour Ne will likely deviate from the procedure and experiment to see what happens and create something new.
> ...


ISFP is one of the personality types that I think I could be but it's to a lesser degree than the other three types I think I could be. I'm not an extravert/extrovert so I don't think I'm an ESFJ & I definitely don't think I'm an Fe Dom. 



Ksara said:


> I was looking at what you find as the 'bane' of your existence. More so PoLR from a socionics point of view.
> 
> Hmm, do you relate more to missing the connection between things. Like if things aren't laid out in order or something is missing, this frustrates yo to no end?


I suppose I relate to this somewhat but not too strongly. It depends on exactly what you mean by this. 



Ksara said:


> Do you also find it irritating or anxious when people aren't focussing on what's happening in the here and now?


I can be like this but it's not a "thing" with me.



Ksara said:


> It's even also really annoying when people can't follow a schedule, and are late,


I don't necessarily expect people to follow a strict schedule. However, I do expect people to do what they say they're going to do when they say they're going to do it. For example, if I want to do something at a certain time & another person tells me they were planning on doing something at that same time, I'd go ahead & let them do whatever they said they were planning on doing. I'll get irritated if that time rolls around & the person is procrastinating & not doing what they said they were going to do because it throws me off. I don't like unexpected upsets & changes to plans unless they're super minor, _maybe_. 



Ksara said:


> or you can find it difficult to estimate how long something will take so you always leave plenty of time and arrive really early to things?


I relate to this a bit, yes.


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## MusiCago (Jan 3, 2017)

xoElizabethxo said:


> Also, I wanted to add one more thing. I'm the type of person who needs clear, detailed instructions on how to do something. I'm not sure if that's helpful or not but hopefully it is.


Me too so don't worry! I could improvise easily, its just I'm afraid of messing up so when someone wants me to do something I would rather be safe than sorry and do it right. However if its something I'm doing on my own/for myself, I typically don't care much for instructions (unless it is cooking related.)

As for my earlier questions. When you're at school/work/home, what are you doing most of the time? Are you in tune with your environments or not so much? Also what is your most pronounced function in key2cognition or celebritytpes? To give an example as an Ni Dom, I'm either A) analyzing people and trying to read them or B) analyzing things in my mind or remembering things/making connections. Si Doms are most likely to be preoccupied with the sensations they are feeling and perceiving things according to their past and present sensations. Si doms do not look very detached from the world and are much more aware of the here and now. Which one do you relate to? Also how long did it take you to really get into mbti and cognitive functions/Jung theory after you first heard about it or took the test? INFJs are MUCH more likely to jump right into it because it's so intuitively fascinating. ISFJs will tend to not care so much at first and it usually takes a big intuitive leap for an ISFJ to really get into typology.


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## narawithherthought (Jun 10, 2014)

You are really considerate person. but I am not sure either you are Fe or Fi user. But I feel that you are Fe user because of your avatar, your structure of sentences and how you create your post. 



November Rose said:


> *Hmm, well you seem Fe to me. I pretty new at this, but things like keeping silent if you're with someone who doesn't like rock music seems Fe. I'm Fi, and I'll say upfront what I like and dislike. I'll be interested to see what other people say.
> *


I also felt her as Fe type when I read that part but then I remember that I also DID the same thing too. My close friend said to me that she really really hates blue. The fact is that I really really love blue. Then, I was just being silent time for time. How I can say to her that I really like blue when she told me that she really hates blue. But, gladly, I found the chance to say that in the end.


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## Ksara (Feb 13, 2014)

xoElizabethxo said:


> ISFP is one of the personality types that I think I could be but it's to a lesser degree than the other three types I think I could be. I'm not an extravert/extrovert so I don't think I'm an ESFJ & I definitely don't think I'm an Fe Dom.


Well looking at ISFJ, INFJ, INFP, and lesser degree ISFP, You so far seem to fit ISFJ the best.



> I suppose I relate to this somewhat but not too strongly. It depends on exactly what you mean by this.
> 
> I can be like this but it's not a "thing" with me.
> 
> ...




Which sounds more like you:

Systematic and thorougher
Carry responsibility well
Hardworking and practical
Outwardly you can be seen as matt-of-fact, yet internally find yourself entertained by your reactions to your sensed impressions
Are very patient and pay attention to detail
Like and adapt easily to routine
Able to absorb and use an immense number of facts/details

or

Value harmony in the inner life of feeling
Your best work is focused on your personal values
You have deep feelings of inner tenderness and passion which masked by a reserved repose
You tend to maintain independence from the judgment of others as you focus on your own moral code
You have a strong sense of duty and faithfulness to obligations, but no desire to impress or influence

or

Value above all else harmonious human contacts
Are best at jobs dealing with people and in situations where needed cooperation is won by goodwill
Are friendly, tactful, sympathetic, and able to almost always express the feelings appropriate to the moment
Are sensitive to praise and criticism, and anxious to conform to all legitament expectations
Can be perceived as outwardly judgmental, and likes to have things decided and settled
Idealistic and loyal
Are persevering, conscientious, orderly even in small matters, and inclined to insist others be the same


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## Candy Apple (Sep 10, 2015)

xoElizabethxo said:


> Let me ask you a question though. If someone is very kind to everyone & they share their things with everyone but go a little bit further for those in their inner circle, does such a person seem more like a Dom Fi user or an aux Fe user? I'm asking because I'm like this. I know either can probably be like that but who do you think is more likely to be like that? Maybe I'm being too particular again lol. :/


Aux Fe. Fi doms want to get away from people most of the time.  And remember, they're more selectively kind. While they can be, or are nice, they are more prone to 'mood swings' that show.  



> The things people say matter to me more than they might be aware of. I hear what people say, read what people say & start considering making adjustments to my inner world or I'll seriously ponder or think about what was said.


This is Fe (the way you're saying it).



> For example, when society decides that wearing something isn't cool anymore, I start to feel personally targeted if I still wear that thing they no longer think is cool.


This is Fe. Fe goes by societal standards/norms. 



> Then, I'll start to feel like maybe I should stop wearing it. People seem to have this way of making me feel stupid & inferior even if they're not trying to but that's probably because I'm too sensitive & have a poor sense of self to some degree.


Sensitivity may be a part of it but aside from that an Fe user measures themselves by the way society is and that's why they pay particular attention to what people think and are affected by what people think. So, while someone might not target you intentionally or at all, the fact that a lot of people are in agreement about a certain thing is what catches your attention. You're good at spotting social norms. So, if you behave differently to this norm, your own awareness of it is what causes you to want to change - so that _you_ are behaving within societal norms.



> This is kind of off topic but I wanted to share this. There was one day when I was talking to someone about how they should & shouldn't act & after a while, they kind of saw it like I was trying to control them or dictate to them what to do. I made it clear that wasn't my intention at all, I just cared about them so I was trying to help, I wanted them to stop doing certain things so that they'd have an easier time with others. Does this seem more Fi or Fe to you on my end? ( There I go, being all particular again lol. )


It's actually not off topic. This is Fe. As Fe goes by societal norms, they help others to be aware of these norms in order to make it easier for that person to fit in.

Te and Fe go by external standards (systematic logic and societal norms respectively) - they follow them but also enforce it / put it into place / are concerned about it and others following it (it's supposed to be a group solution - what's best for 'everyone'). By those same standards, they judge themselves. It makes sense though right? What you view as important, is a quality that you'd also want out there in the world for people to share and for people to support. If you yourself are not abiding by it, you feel pressure because you know what the standard is and know what you're doing is contrary to it.

About what you said - that's the same thing I do but with Te concerns via Te and it upsets a lot of people.  You can do it as kind and caring as you know how but not everyone will see it that way so sometimes you just have to... stop or _try it another way.  
_


> Thank you so much for taking time out to respond to me. <3 I know I'm not the easiest to talk to sometimes because I can ask too many questions & I don't understand things as fast as I should sometimes.


It takes a long time to understand MBTI... it took me a long time and I'm still going! It's all good.


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

MusiCago said:


> Me too so don't worry! I could improvise easily, its just I'm afraid of messing up so when someone wants me to do something I would rather be safe than sorry and do it right. However if its something I'm doing on my own/for myself, I typically don't care much for instructions (unless it is cooking related.)


For the most part, whenever I do something for the first time, I feel the safest using instructions period, researching whatever it is or asking someone how they handled things. When I feel like I got the hang of things, then I'll maybe improvise more or add some kind of change. 



MusiCago said:


> As for my earlier questions. When you're at school/work/home, what are you doing most of the time? Are you in tune with your environments or not so much?


I think I'm tuning in to my environment but especially when it comes to people. I'm in tune with how they treat me & how they react to me, I'm in tune with their vibes, body language & pretty much just everything lol. I'm in tune with the obvious & not so obvious. For example, while I'm listening to what someone is saying to me, I'm also naturally picking up on how they're speaking & what's not being directly said. Another example is, I can do a certain task & make sure I do it thoroughly & meticulously while also thinking of something in my head, these thoughts can be anything really. 
I need to make order out of chaos in my external world so I guess I'm also directly in tune with the way my external environment makes me feel in terms of comfort level.



MusiCago said:


> Also what is your most pronounced function in key2cognition or celebritytpes?


Well on Key2Cognition, I get Si Dom. I also got that on another functions test. CelebrityTypes is trickier. Recently, I got Fe Dom on there & I don't agree with that. Sometimes CelebrityTypes gives me Fi over Fe & sometimes it doesn't. I personally think tests in general are a bit shaky but I do also acknowledge that tests only give out what you put in too.



MusiCago said:


> To give an example as an Ni Dom, I'm either A) analyzing people and trying to read them or B) analyzing things in my mind or remembering things/making connections. Si Doms are most likely to be preoccupied with the sensations they are feeling and perceiving things according to their past and present sensations. Si doms do not look very detached from the world and are much more aware of the here and now. Which one do you relate to?


I'm sorry but I think I relate to all of that. :/ What also doesn't help is that I'm kind of out of touch with myself. :/ 



MusiCago said:


> Also how long did it take you to really get into mbti and cognitive functions/Jung theory after you first heard about it or took the test? INFJs are MUCH more likely to jump right into it because it's so intuitively fascinating. ISFJs will tend to not care so much at first and it usually takes a big intuitive leap for an ISFJ to really get into typology.


I think I got right into MBTI after learning about it, it didn't take long for me to get into it at all. Then again, don't you think that everyone has their own reasons for why they're into MBTI? I don't really think a person has to use intuition in order to be interested. Perhaps I'm misunderstanding you. I'm sorry if I am.

Honestly, you don't even have to reply to me anymore. I thank you for all of your help ❤ but I think I just need to let this thread die. I don't know, I'm kind of feeling like I'm just dragging things out now or something. I don't know. Plus, it seems like I'm just confused & always will be & I don't want to waste your time or anybody else's time. I don't know. I am genuinely thankful though. ❤ ( Why did I say “I don't know" so many times? I guess I really don't know! Lol. xD )


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

narawithherthought said:


> You are really considerate person. but I am not sure either you are Fe or Fi user. But I feel that you are Fe user because of your avatar, your structure of sentences and how you create your post.


Thank you. ❤
I think maybe I'll never know for sure what I am. :/



narawithherthought said:


> I also felt her as Fe type when I read that part but then I remember that I also DID the same thing too. My close friend said to me that she really really hates blue. The fact is that I really really love blue. *Then, I was just being silent time for time. How I can say to her that I really like blue when she told me that she really hates blue.* But, gladly, I found the chance to say that in the end.


Exactly. :/
Good on you for eventually being able to say you really liked blue.


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

Ksara said:


> Well looking at ISFJ, INFJ, INFP, and lesser degree ISFP, You so far seem to fit ISFJ the best.
> 
> Which sounds more like you:
> 
> ...


I'm sorry but to be honest, I don't know which description I relate to the most. :/ However, I'm tempted to lean toward the first description.

Thank you for all your help. ❤ I'm sorry for being so difficult. You don't have to try to help me anymore, I think I should just let this thread die.

I'm clearly just confused & probably will continue to be no matter what. I don't want to waste anyone's time or take them in circles all because I'm too ridiculous to understand things or be in touch with myself.


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

Candy Apple said:


> Aux Fe. Fi doms want to get away from people most of the time.  And remember, they're more selectively kind. While they can be, or are nice, they are more prone to 'mood swings' that show.
> 
> This is Fe (the way you're saying it).
> 
> ...


Yes, all of this makes sense to me. ❤



Candy Apple said:


> About what you said - that's the same thing I do but with Te concerns via Te and it upsets a lot of people.  You can do it as kind and caring as you know how but not everyone will see it that way so sometimes you just have to... stop or _try it another way.
> _


I'm curious about how your Te works but you don't have to explain it if you don't feel like it. I'm just genuinely curious & also, I'm trying to see if Te could possibly be my inferior function. I think if I can identify my inferior function at least, perhaps I can get closer to an answer although I'll probably always be uncertain & confused.
I had someone tell me that if they didn't know me, they'd think I was an ISTJ lol. 



Candy Apple said:


> It takes a long time to understand MBTI... it took me a long time and I'm still going! It's all good.


Yeah but I kind of feel like, knowing how I am, I'll never be certain about what my type is. I feel like I'm making things difficult for people here who are trying to help me & I don't want or mean to do that. 

Whatever the case, I do appreciate your feedback.  You don't have to answer if you don't want to though. I should probably let this thread die.


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## Ksara (Feb 13, 2014)

xoElizabethxo said:


> I'm sorry but to be honest, I don't know which description I relate to the most. :/ However, I'm tempted to lean toward the first description.


Ok, well if you are up to it 

Does the first description relate to you more or less than this next description?

Driven by your inner vision
can be determined to the point of stubbornness
Can be individualistic but try to harmonize this with the environment
you are stimulated by difficulties and are ingenious at solving them
are only willing to concede that the impossible takes a little longer
more interested in pioneering a new road than following the beaten path
motivated by inspiration
deeply discontent in a routine job that offers no room for inspiration
Can be very insightful.



> Thank you for all your help. ❤ I'm sorry for being so difficult. You don't have to try to help me anymore, I think I should just let this thread die.
> 
> I'm clearly just confused & probably will continue to be no matter what. I don't want to waste anyone's time or take them in circles all because I'm too ridiculous to understand things or be in touch with myself.


It's all good. I enjoy doing this.
I think what's important to remember there is no wrong answer at this point. It is about what best fits with you.
It's also completely normal to go around in circles. I've been on the forum for like 4ish years now and still display my type as unknown, so I can understand the going around in circles.

I am sensing something is up. Is everything ok? If there is something you want to talk about feel free to PM me


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

Ksara said:


> Ok, well if you are up to it
> 
> Does the first description relate to you more or less than this next description?
> 
> ...


Nope, I definitely relate to the other description more than this one. I actually didn't find myself relating to this description that much but I did relate to maybe one or two things.



Ksara said:


> It's all good. I enjoy doing this.
> I think what's important to remember there is no wrong answer at this point. It is about what best fits with you.
> It's also completely normal to go around in circles. I've been on the forum for like 4ish years now and still display my type as unknown, so I can understand the going around in circles.


I know but it sucks that I can't come to a conclusion about what best fits me. :/ I don't want anyone to feel frustrated because I'm a mess. Sometimes people who help others can get drained or annoyed when the person they're trying to help is too difficult to help. I just don't want that to ever be the case with another person & I. I don't want to feel like a responsibility EVER to others.
I really do appreciate everyone who has tried to help though. ❤ Maybe I'm making things bigger than what they are, I don't know.

This is kind of random but I'm curious about why you're unsure of your type? If you don't want to tell me, that's okay. ❤



Ksara said:


> I am sensing something is up. Is everything ok? If there is something you want to talk about feel free to PM me


You're sensing that something is up with me because it is. I don't feel very good today, emotionally. As a matter of fact, I haven't been feeling emotionally good lately period.
I appreciate the concern ❤ but I don't really like to go on & on about myself, especially my problems. Also, I don't even completely understand what's wrong. It's like I do but I don't. I seem to be more sensitive than normal lately although I am pretty sensitive anyway.


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

Ksara said:


> Ok, well if you are up to it
> 
> Does the first description relate to you more or less than this next description?
> 
> ...


I wanted to add one more thing, it's about my need for closure. Sometimes my need for closure can get ridiculous & it'll start bleeding into things that are suppose to be lighthearted & fun. For example, if I'm playing a game with a friend where you have to choose something over something else (this or that), I'll feel burdened if I can't choose one. It's SO minor, I know. -_-


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## Ksara (Feb 13, 2014)

xoElizabethxo said:


> Nope, I definitely relate to the other description more than this one. I actually didn't find myself relating to this description that much but I did relate to maybe one or two things.


Ok I think it's safe to cross INFJ off your list. I got these description from the book Gifts Differing.
The descriptions in order I presented them are for:
ISxJ, IxFP, ExFJ and INxJ.

You relating to the first description, but some of the others may suggest type ISFJ.
The ISxJ description didn't have as much of a feeling focus like the other two after it did.



> I know but it sucks that I can't come to a conclusion about what best fits me. :/ I don't want anyone to feel frustrated because I'm a mess. Sometimes people who help others can get drained or annoyed when the person they're trying to help is too difficult to help. I just don't want that to ever be the case with another person & I. I don't want to feel like a responsibility EVER to others.
> I really do appreciate everyone who has tried to help though. ❤ Maybe I'm making things bigger than what they are, I don't know.


Now I think what I'm about to say may come across as blunt. Please don't take it that way. I'm just trying to be clear about how you are not a burden on me 

Now I am quite able to take care of myself. This means I am quite able to communicate to you if things are too much for me. You will not be a burden on me unless I allow you to. This would make it my responsibility not yours 

If I did not want to help, or was unable to help, or if I felt overwhelmed, I would let you know I can't help or need a break. I am not going to be annoyed at you 

I do not expect you to manage my feelings. And I'm not going to hold you responsible for my emotion state. 
I hope I could put some of your worries at easy 





> This is kind of random but I'm curious about why you're unsure of your type? If you don't want to tell me, that's okay. ❤


I find it hard to distinguish which cognitive process is dominant within myself.
Looking at the MBTI dichotomies I can't determine thinking or feeling for myself. But I'm confitent with INxJ 

Also others perception of me tends to be inconsistent. IRL INTJ is suggested, online I get INFP, INFJ, INTJ, ISFP.

The inconsistency makes it difficult to be certain. It may be down to using different typology models.

Even when I decide it will likely take some time before I change it lol.


> You're sensing that something is up with me because it is. I don't feel very good today, emotionally. As a matter of fact, I haven't been feeling emotionally good lately period.
> I appreciate the concern ❤ but I don't really like to go on & on about myself, especially my problems. Also, I don't even completely understand what's wrong. It's like I do but I don't. I seem to be more sensitive than normal lately although I am pretty sensitive anyway.


The offer still stands. I am happy to be a listening ear if you need to bounce some thoughts around.

It's not about making it all about you, and it would not be a burden for me.
I just find some people need anothet person to bounce ideas off them. It helps them to figure out what they need and helps to them feel better.


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## xoElizabethxo (Jan 26, 2017)

Ksara said:


> Ok I think it's safe to cross INFJ off your list. I got these description from the book Gifts Differing.
> The descriptions in order I presented them are for:
> ISxJ, IxFP, ExFJ and INxJ.
> 
> ...


I never said you weren't able to take care of yourself nor was I trying to imply that. However, I do understand what you mean based on your perspective. 



Ksara said:


> I do not expect you to manage my feelings. And I'm not going to hold you responsible for my emotion state.
> I hope I could put some of your worries at easy


All good.



Ksara said:


> I find it hard to distinguish which cognitive process is dominant within myself.
> Looking at the MBTI dichotomies I can't determine thinking or feeling for myself. But I'm confitent with INxJ
> 
> Also others perception of me tends to be inconsistent. IRL INTJ is suggested, online I get INFP, INFJ, INTJ, ISFP.
> ...


I know what you mean. I tend to view inconsistencies as a sign that something isn't quite right.



Ksara said:


> The offer still stands. I am happy to be a listening ear if you need to bounce some thoughts around.
> 
> It's not about making it all about you, and it would not be a burden for me.
> I just find some people need anothet person to bounce ideas off them. It helps them to figure out what they need and helps to them feel better.


You're right. 

Thank you for the offer & thank you for all of the help & time you've so willingly given.


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