# What Makes You Horny?



## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

The horse/rider analogy is better.

@Six seems to think @ENIGMA2019 is trying to steal his horse.

But really, horses need to be let out to run and pasture too. She's describing enjoying that--it doesn't mean she's hostile because she likes to see a horse run and eat and enjoy life like the animal it is sometimes.

Giving a horse a carrot doesn't mean you're trying to get the horse to buck off and trample its rider.

I've never understood heterosexual men who compete for power, against women, for no discernable reason. I have noticed that insecurity drives many people to embrace traditional power dynamics...and a desire for power (if that person fits the right role). That isn't something that happens to many romantics or pleasure-seekers though. It's not how everyone values relationships.

I did think the horse/rider analogy was good--but do not agree with some of the rest, as it seems to me to be coming from some kind of fear of scarcity or loss of power. I don't think sexuality needs to be politicized so much either, or blamed for economic inequality (or seen as a solution to it).

I was going to say--there are some lines of thought about orgasm or sexual encounters stealing life force, I think--like with tantra. I can see how being in control of one's self is valuable and important, so it could be a metaphor for that and a warning against that. But in general, I do not think many women are approaching men for boxing matches. That's usually something men do together.

But who knows--I don't fight people for sexual satisfaction. It's usually to protect others who are more vulnerable, which is supposedly some masculine role, though women have always been responsible for protecting vulnerable things as well in traditional gender roles. And there have always been men and women who aren't good protectors.


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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)

WickerDeer said:


> The horse/rider analogy is better.
> 
> @Six seems to think @ENIGMA2019 is trying to steal his horse.
> 
> ...


Yes, why take something. It can be given freely or not at all. People interpret things as they want to. Surface level on most and that is fine. I do enjoy when the different interpretations on deeper levels occur. I 💗 yours here!!! 
Sometimes misinterpretation can happen. I will try to explain~ especially if asked to elaborate. Also, if people want to play games~ I will play back. _shrugs_ My intent is not bad in that form either. More entertainment wise. People and the way they think fascinate me.

"I was going to say--there are some lines of thought about orgasm or sexual encounters stealing life force, I think--like with tantra. I can see how being in control of one's self is valuable and important, so it could be a metaphor for that and a warning against that. But in general, I do not think many women are approaching men for boxing matches. That's usually something men do together."
Iniquities? You share energy/blend energy and people should be mindful of who they share their energy with in intimate sexual encounter(s).

Also, yes @Paradox3


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## Six (Oct 14, 2019)

WickerDeer said:


> The horse/rider analogy is better.
> 
> @Six seems to think @ENIGMA2019 is trying to steal his horse.
> 
> ...


If @ENIGMA2019 was into stealing horses - to start getting really bogged down in metaphors - it would be on the "teenager trying to find a weed dealer to impress cool kids" end of a spectrum ranging from that to the city professional who does a cheeky bit of MDMA when she's out clubbing to let her hair loose up to your solid heroin addict.

Now with a certain amount of self-control there's maybe nothing wrong with a little amount of consciousness-altering chemical use, and likewise for seduction or using that power - if you want, under self-control and with a little direction towards constructive purposes that's fine too - my issue with it is when I can't see where it's coming from...






*I just want to say that you are a horrible, HORRIBLE person.*
_Pardon me?_
*You say you love this man, and yet you're about to ruin the happiest day of his life. I'm afraid I have to agree with your friend "Pheebes". This is a terrible, terrible plan.*
_But he HAS to know how I feel!_
*But why? He loves this Emily person - no good can come of this...*
_Well I think you're wrong._
*Oh no...*

One should be suspicious of one's capacity to discern what's good for a person if that discernment just happens to align with one's own personal benefits, impulses or aspirations (you know, assuming you should know how my horse needs things more than I do for instance..)

I've seen women who have friends living a life they want to have with their boyfriends and so they'll flirt with the boyfriend - why? Because they want that life and there's something in them which wishes they were able to destroy it so as to show themselves they are the better and slightly more entitled party to it - simply as a matter of self-esteem...

I've seen women who have had affairs with men who are married and have kids and a house who don't care about the fabric of that family they're putting in jeopardy because "hey they know best what the horse wants and it wants suger lumps..." (really starting to regret that analogy now...)

I've stared into the faces of women who have jokingly called me a "pussy" for not wanting to engage in acts which I have seen them decry openly by saying western society is a white male rape culture patriarchy (which I don't mind because in those instances the ones I was associated with were at least somewhat knowing to their own madness - simply laughing at their own lack of accountability to it or lack of reason inside it.

But that instinct is a very consistent thing - underlying all of it - and I think Dave Chappelle is a guy who's sort of on the same wavelength as me at least in smelling this stuff even if it's not the same subject matter - how hard it is to actually articulate...






*I was doing sketches that were funny... but socially irresponsible... 

There was a guy laughing who was white who was laughing in such a way - I know the difference between people laughing with me and people laughing at me - and it was the first time I had ever had a laugh that I was uncomfortable with... not just uncomfortable but; should I fire this person... ?*






*I'm one of those people who's so smart that I'm uncomfortable in this world... and I'm scared to live: I'm not scared to live but it's scary out here God damn - I can see how flimsy this shit is, I can see through this shit - I can see the truth - there's an animal inside each and every one of you.*

And I am accommodating of that fact, of the chaos in people, I do want to cultivate it in the right and appropriate way because I do believe that chaos is the source of people's vitality and what makes them Alive. I accommodate mischief in children far more than I've seen ENFPs or ESFPs (who you'd think would be all on board for it) do for example - same with animals, and with women - however I want to know it's a socially responsible thing how I'm applying or pushing or preventing those instincts in people which they've barely got control of themselves because I answer to instincts and principles which are very hard to see and keep me in line with what I see as being the right way of things unfolding - it's why I've never ever taken part in any activity peripherally or directly which I see as aiding rent-seeking or rentier sector activity - I don't care if it makes me seem stupid or it's personally extremely costly because I'm paying for a clear conscience...






_What I remember is irrelevant Bernard. If the minutes don't say that he did, then he didn't._
*So you want me to falsify the minutes?*
_I want nothing of the sort! It's up to you Bernard, what do you want?_
*I want a clear conscience!*
_A clear conscience..._
*Yes.*
_...when did you acquire this taste for luxuries...?_

I don't see how this instinct plays out - not clearly, not fully, I see it in evolutionary terms, sociological and cultural terms but I don't see it as a FELT thing as I can and would having my foot on the clutch of a car or something like that which is truly instinct - like I wear the ESTP mask here:

I know how to be the right sort of asshole - not too much, not too little - just enough to be sufficient exfoliant without hopefully erring so much that I end up having people believe I'm actually an asshole who's just trying to hurt - when I'm not - I think I have more or less hit the balance right sufficient such that a majority of people here would say I'm an asshole however it's not a totally irredeemable case (which is where you'd want it).

And you know women enjoy assholes, I don't find that paradoxical because I understand it as a mechanism but also as a FELT thing - I do not understand this instinct fully though, and that's why I'm cautious - I don't want to misapply how I react to it or indulge it - because I know I'm not an asshole and my nature is actually to be very kind and accommodating - because of that - I don't mind play-acting as one, however because I don't understand what this other instinct is or whether it's simply extension of the same issue beyond my capacity to model - I don't want to explore it without having that felt understanding - I'm still pursuing insights into it and I am getting closer to it as I go along.

But the boxing analogy is the closest thing I can find to a respectful approach: You're the one who assumes it's good to approach someone as an animal - but the paternalistic / maternalistic nature of that is still looking down upon something as of inferior capacity to understand - I don't want to approach it that way and as I said - in boxing there is also an element of attempting to loosen the other side to make them lose control, however at least that is treating the other side as a fully intact human who is able to exert self-control instead of assuming they are powerless to resist becoming reduced to an animal predictably anticipated via its instincts.

I still have another way to access this thing I'm trying to understand - it's just the psychological proximity of it seems almost too hard to approach because it serves only to remind how little I actually understand this...






I don't care. You went halfway around the World. You spent a fortune. You did terrible things. Really terrible things Robert - and all for nothing!
*Nothing? You never understood why we did this: The audience knows the truth. The world is simple. Miserable. Solid all the way through - but if you can fool them, even for a second, then you can make them wonder - and then you got to see something very special. You really don't know. It was the look on their faces!*


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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)

Someone has a lot of time on their hands and should have posted in the vent thread instead? Seeing a wall of text that is too long to bother reading is not what makes me horny.


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## Six (Oct 14, 2019)

Paradox3 said:


> Someone has a lot of time on their hands and should have posted in the vent thread instead? Seeing a wall of text that is too long to bother reading is not what makes me horny.


Fortunately I don't need the opinions of people who find a half-page of text a little too hard to read I suppose... ? (Also you don't get points for not managing your time better...)


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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)

Six said:


> Fortunately I don't need the opinions of people who find a half-page of text a little too hard to read I suppose... ?


Do not quote me. You are childish. I could see you needed a bottle after the first few lines.


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## Six (Oct 14, 2019)

Paradox3 said:


> Do not quote me. You are childish. I could see you needed a bottle after the first few lines.


Does that make you horny baby... ?


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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)

Six said:


> Does that make you horny baby... ?


Are you an asshole or just an asshole in disguise? Either way- you quoted me again. I see you do not follow instructions.


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## Six (Oct 14, 2019)

Paradox3 said:


> Are you an asshole or just an asshole in disguise? Either way- you quoted me again. I see you do not follow instructions.


Name-calling...










...come on you can do better than that - and no, I don't "follow instructions" - you say that as if it's a demerit.


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

@Six Ah--I can see why you asked @ENIGMA2019 about it then. I do think that's the best as well, since she can better express how she experiences it. I think it probably varies a lot between people why "losing control" would be something they are attracted to. But I can see why you'd want to explore it more and understand why.

I would offer some other reasons why it might be common for women (and men) to express that (everyone is an individual though, so I think it's best that you had asked Enigma about it as she is going to be able to say more personal, specific reasons, whereas I'm just thinking of some general ones:

As you said--people are not really horses--we are animals, but we are human animals. And so a man losing control really IS a choice (unless you're talking about something really serious). Also, many men like to stay in control to some degree, and so it could also be rare, and so maybe a special thing that is shared between those individuals (the one losing control and the one who is encouraging them to). So that could be one reason.

Another is that imo men who have control over themselves are more attractive to many women, especially since often times the men who behave badly (raping people etc.) pretend it is because they lost control. So it could also be attractive if a man loses control in response to a woman's encouragement--if she is intentionally encouraging it. Because...idk...I lost that train of thought. I guess because he's normally in control and so again it's a specific behavior that is rare and so intimate because they are sharing something rare together, and because it is a choice and consensual.

I agree with you about those unhealthy situations in which people use that excuse "being out of control" to do things that are harmful to others. Also happens in more severe cases like spousal abuse and stuff--I guess that's a way to get a lighter sentence, right? To claim that one was out of control and so it wasn't pre-meditated. But really, it's meaningless what the intention was when the damage is done.

But there was nothing indicating any of that--again though, I can see why you would want to know more about it, and I probably shouldn't have butted in. I just disagreed with some of the other stuff.

There are also men and women who are turned on by the prey/predator dynamic (like not real pathological stuff, but just fighting or whatever--I lump it all together). I don't really understand that either. It's interesting how similar humans can be, and yet how much we can not understand about each other (and ourselves too, I guess). 

The Asshole thing about people being attracted to assholes--it is something that bothers me as well because I don't really understand it. But assholes tend to share the characteristic of being blunt or saying inappropriate things--the positive side of that is honesty and honest communication. And then willingness to even engage. 

I wonder if women sometimes end up wondering about the honesty of the people they are talking to--like if that person is just pretending to agree with them for some outcome (like to have sex with them or touch them), whereas perhaps it's rarer for women to find men who honestly engage with them as equals, and who are also attracted to them. So perhaps that is the appeal when there is some. 

But people don't always agree who is an asshole, and so it's really hard to talk about that since there's such a broad spread of behavior that is considered being an asshole. Like when I'm an asshole, it's often when I'm being protective (I am naturally kind of a white knight and it's got nothing to do with wanting something from women--like sex--I think there are probably also men like this, though they might not be seen as assholes, but if they overreact they could be). It's very different than someone being an asshole in the way of speaking up because they disagree with something (like not morally disagree, but because they just think it's wrong or irrational or stupid). But both could be seen as assholes in different ways, and both behaviors could also be attractive to different types of people. 

I also think that there might be something to complementary attraction--being attracted to someone who's more of an opposite. Because I do sometimes see the most caring, sweet, thoughtful women getting in relationships with men who are not. And I think perhaps sometimes those women need to learn to be a bit more like an asshole, and the asshole needs to learn to be a bit more like the empath. But that's also really scary when you think of dynamics between narcissists and really empathetic people. ugh.

So I also find it unsettling--more than the losing control thing.

I think one of my first videos I ever saw--probably one of my first introductions to what sex or romance is, was as a child seeing a Paula Abdhul videos--so maybe it's burned into my consciousness. It doesn't really make that much sense aside from offering the opportunity to learn about your weaknesses or from others strengths.









Paula Abdul - Opposites Attract (Official Music Video)


REMASTERED IN HD!!Official Music Video for Opposites Attract performed by Paula Abdul with an appearance by MC Skat Kat.Follow Paula Abdul:Instagram: https:/...




www.youtube.com





At the same time--I can see the reasoning for this as well, since men and women have historically been socialized very differently. So the idea of opposites attracting, and also being able to peel off the layers of socialization to get to a point of deeper connection makes sense--for a meaningful (and actually friendly) relationship between a man and a woman. Because underneath gender we are all people and we are individuals. 

And then, I do want to say some women (and men) may have an unconscious hatred or anger towards men who they ruin the lives of. Like they don't really just want to give the horse sugar--that is an excuse. Really, they are angry or they at least lack some empathy. If it were a true friend--like a best friend, you wouldn't want to destroy their dreams. It's more so out of selfishness or anger, and perhaps unconscious. Perhaps they had been hurt by men in the past. Though this seems better to ask a counselor or therapist about. Though I also feel like single people are just less responsible (at least I am when I'm single) and since they aren't defending their own relationship they aren't really in the same mental place or mode as someone who's in a long term relationship (should be.) I know I don't really like hanging out with people who are in a relationship when I'm single. I feel like I have to be really careful not to do something disrespectful of their relationship on accident.

But this is all kind of off topic. Regarding the losing control--the most meaningful thing it signifies to me is as a metaphor for the physical act of orgasming because orgasming involves involuntary physical um...processes? Stuff that you really are not mentally in control of like physical spasms or whatever makes men ejaculate...probably some muscle somewhere (sorry--I'm not a doctor). So that's always what I think of with such a metaphor.

It really is something I'm uncomfortable with too though, even down to that aspect. And I didn't realize it or really know why, and I still don't. I suspect it does have to do with vulnerability though, and intimacy, and reason.

But it was a good idea to ask Enigma directly since everyone's different. I will hand this thread back over to the horny. Though it was good to think about.


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## Vasiliev (Dec 4, 2020)

Anything involving dubious consent or noncon.


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## Crowbo (Jul 9, 2017)

Nice, voluptuous curves


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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)

Six said:


> Name-calling...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I can but, it is not for me to answer. Yes, name calling was out of line. I should have read the whole thing and then responded appropriately if- at all.

If your poking is in a negative context though- what would that make you?


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## Flabarac Brupip (May 9, 2020)

Vasiliev said:


> Anything involving dubious consent or noncon.


You like nonconsent? Hmm........Nice guy.


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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)




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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)

Do I sound turned on or switched off?


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## impulsenine (Oct 18, 2020)

A hot rational girl playing hard to get


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