# bucolic's "type me" journal



## bucolic (Apr 4, 2017)

Figured I would start a "type me" journal, where I put my very fragmented thoughts down hoping that a broader pattern will emerge. First fragmented thought for this thread? When I select a personality type, I feel envious of the other types I am missing out on. All those closed off horizons seem like missed opportunities. Seems like I'm stuck in purgatory.

Types that I see myself in? ENTP/ENFP/INFJ (for some reason, but it could be the mystique of the type that keeps me coming back rather than me having anything in common with INFJs). I'm very people focused, but also have a tendency to think about concepts until I feel like I have mastered them. 

This is a very sparse amount of information, and I plan to add to it when the mood strikes. Feel free to ask questions, etc.


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## bucolic (Apr 4, 2017)

I'm almost thinking INFJ would be perfect in some ways. (Fe) + (Ti) + (Se), except Ne is absent, which I do very much identify with.


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## bucolic (Apr 4, 2017)

INFJ? ENFP? Why do both types resonate?


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## bucolic (Apr 4, 2017)

Decided to fill out another questionnaire

*1) What aspect of your personality made you unsure of your type?*

Probably the Ni/Ne or Fi/Fe. For the former, it's due to the fact that I use Ne to ferret out new possibilities almost constantly, and very rarely follow through with them. Fi/Fe: Caught between authenticity and harmony. In some ways I don't think they are mutually exclusive. 

* 2) What do you yearn for in life? Why?*

To have some financial independence, a decent circle of friends that prove to be reliably interesting/insightful, and to be under the same roof every day with my partner. Having a wide selection of very superficial acquaintances would be nice too. 

* 3) Think about a time where you felt like you were at your finest. Tell us what made you feel that way.*

Can't say a specific moment stands out. Generally, it's when I'm around people and am making them laugh/I feel a vague sense of camaraderie. 

* 4) What makes you feel inferior?*

If I'm not mastering a concept perfectly, then this will make me feel inferior. Sometimes, I will have a sense of inferiority around people, but that's more centered on a lack of financial independence/not being at where I want to be career wise. 

*5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.)*

People weigh on my decisions fairly consistently, but I also try to be conscious that whatever decision I'm making makes the most sense in the moment. 

* 6) When working on a project what is normally your emphasis? Do you like to have control of the outcome?*

Making sure the project meets the minimum standards for whatever mundane benchmarks that are set. After the unpleasant mundane stuff is out of the way, I like to focus on creativity and controlling the outcome (because if control is removed, then creativity can suffer). 

* 7) Describe us a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it? *

Always times that I'm with my partner. She really is something. No particular moment stands out, but there's a holistic view of many amazing moments we've had. When I recall those times, I'm focusing on her, and the environment almost takes on the quality of a surreal painting. When I remember a fond memory, the people I'm with and atmosphere are a large part of it. 

*8) When you want to learn something new, what feels more natural for you? (Are you more prone to be hands on, to theorize, to memorize, etc)*

I like to theorize mostly. There are times when "hands on" learning is preferred. I get anxious if I feel like the person isn't explaining things that helps to facilitate my understanding of whatever principle they're trying to convey. 

*9) How organized do you to think of yourself as?*

Room is a mess with clothes scattered around. I'm always on time for appointments, like to stick to plans if any are made, etc. I wouldn't say I'm very organized, but sticking to a plan _when there is a plan _is a priority. 

* 10) How do you judge new ideas? You try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense or do you look for information that supports it?*

Both. Something has to seem logical, but other evidence to buttress those conclusions is preferred. But I guess if the conclusions are sound, further evidence isn't necessarily required. My preference though is to look for further evidence. 

*11) You find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself?*

I don't always find these things as separate. I suppose if I had to pick, probably authenticity, but usually don't approve of the typical presentation of "authenticity." 

* 12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions?*

Probably the latter. I prefer a free-flowing style of talk, but don't necessarily put a lot of stock into what I say. 

*13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words?*

While I'm fairly impulsive, when it comes to new situations, I'd like to know where I'm jumping before leaping. 

*14) It's Saturday. You're at home, and your favorite show is about to start. Your friends call you for a night out. What will you do?*

If my partner is there, spend time with her. I do like spending time with friends, but I really like spending time with my partner vs. friends (but if I haven't seen friends in awhile, I tend to wilt).

* 15) How do you act when you're stressed out?*

Maybe a little neurotic. I'll doubt myself and try to think of other possibilities to get myself out of the mess I'm in, and rarely follow through with the ideas. Low self-image follows. But thanks to a short attention span, it doesn't last long.


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## bucolic (Apr 4, 2017)

Any thoughts?


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## SilentScream (Mar 31, 2011)

My earliest, most raw thinking is *possibly *stressed *ENFP*. 

I saw Ne over Ni definitely. Te over Ti (but not strong enough to be leading), some Si (which could be expressing itself as it's your inferior function) and fairly heavy Fi over Fe. 

I will break down the functions for you if you like.


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## bucolic (Apr 4, 2017)

Reap said:


> My earliest, most raw thinking is *possibly *stressed *ENFP*.
> 
> I saw Ne over Ni definitely. Te over Ti (but not strong enough to be leading), some Si (which could be expressing itself as it's your inferior function) and fairly heavy Fi over Fe.
> 
> I will break down the functions for you if you like.


The only thing I would contest with this is Fi or Fe. I feel like I use both. If Fe seeks harmony, then I've been a strong Fe user throughout the years (but this could be due to environment). 

Sure, break down the functions, if you wouldn't mind...


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## SilentScream (Mar 31, 2011)

bucolic said:


> The only thing I would contest with this is Fi or Fe. I feel like I use both. If Fe seeks harmony, then I've been a strong Fe user throughout the years (but this could be due to environment).
> 
> Sure, break down the functions, if you wouldn't mind...


Yeah. In Jung's theory (based on my interpretation), Fe and Fi are _not_ mutually exclusive since they're _both_ Feeling. It is the _preference_ of the attitude that determines which one it is and you show a preference for Fi over Fe. 

Ok. I'll do that tomorrow.


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## bucolic (Apr 4, 2017)

Also, what makes you think Ne over Ni? The answer will probably be obvious, figured I would ask anyway.


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## bucolic (Apr 4, 2017)

I'm not sure if I prefer Fi over Fe, but would be interested to hear your reasoning (and don't necessarily disagree).


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## bucolic (Apr 4, 2017)

Something I said recently: "I sent positive vibes out into the universe to help re-align your gut flora."


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## karlwozzek (Jun 30, 2015)

I think you are Enfj. The fact that not mastering a subject deeply makes you feel inferior is inferior Ti, since Ti governs over deep understanding of concepts. the fact your happiest memory is about another person, not yourself, is definitely Fe, not Fi. You may even be a Fe dom. So, my verdict is: Enfj.


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## karlwozzek (Jun 30, 2015)

Also, sorry for double posting but I wanted to say another thing. Enfj may seem like a cross between two types you are stuck between (Enfp and Infj) so it may fit, too.


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## bucolic (Apr 4, 2017)

karlwozzek said:


> I think you are Enfj. The fact that not mastering a subject deeply makes you feel inferior is inferior Ti, since Ti governs over deep understanding of concepts. the fact your happiest memory is about another person, not yourself, is definitely Fe, not Fi. You may even be a Fe dom. So, my verdict is: Enfj.


Well, the conclusion so far from you and Reap is ENF, so that's interesting! Could be inferior Ti expressing itself, I'm not sure, but that does make sense in MBTI terms. Ti inferiors do seem to be insecure when it comes to concepts. I would say I go the "extra mile" in understanding them, (as in, checking and re-checking my facility with any given concept, and it's hard to tell from my perspective if I've already understood and am just needlessly rechecking). 



karlwozzek said:


> Also, sorry for double posting but I wanted to say another thing. Enfj may seem like a cross between two types you are stuck between (Enfp and Infj) so it may fit, too.


 Yup, because of INFJs aux Fe, it can be hard to tell the two types apart (at least when it comes to analyzing yourself). ENFJ is definitely a possibility. From what I've read on them though, they are champions of existing moral values, which I don't perceive myself as being. I've thought of ENFj before, and what always stops me from accepting that as my personality type is experiencing friction between society's value system and my own. I'm always second guessing my value system too.


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## SilentScream (Mar 31, 2011)

> *Figured I would start a "type me" journal, where I put my very fragmented thoughts down hoping that a broader pattern will emerge. *First fragmented thought for this thread? When I select a personality type, I feel envious of the other types I am missing out on. All those closed off horizons seem like missed opportunities. Seems like I'm stuck in purgatory.
> 
> Types that I see myself in? ENTP/ENFP/INFJ (for some reason, but it could be the mystique of the type that keeps me coming back rather than me having anything in common with INFJs). *I'm very people focused, but also have a tendency to think about concepts until I feel like I have mastered them. *
> 
> This is a very sparse amount of information, and I plan to add to it when the mood strikes. Feel free to ask questions, etc.


1st Bolded is Ne. Your approach to this is pretty much screaming dominant intuition to me. 
2nd Bolded is very scattered thinking, but to you it seems like the flow makes sense. To someone else it would make little sense for someone to jump from talking about people to objects. Your focus is on objects (others, things in the environment), not subject (yourself). 



> I'm almost thinking INFJ would be perfect in some ways. (Fe) + (Ti) + (Se), except Ne is absent, which I do very much identify with.


This in and of itself is Thinking. It's external oriented because you're looking a what makes up an INFJ and deciding that what you identify with is absent based on an external theory. You haven't developed an internalized theory like "Maybe I am Fe, Ti AND Ne". You're relying on external information. 



> Probably the Ni/Ne or Fi/Fe. For the former, it's due to the fact that I use Ne to ferret out new possibilities almost constantly, and very rarely follow through with them. Fi/Fe: Caught between authenticity and harmony. In some ways I don't think they are mutually exclusive.


You're so comfortable talking about possibilities and I can see it in how you convey your thoughts as well. You have pretty much no iNtuition (Ni). It's just not there. But you seem to be leading with Ne consistently. 

Fi/Fe authenticity and harmony can co-exist. But that depends on whether you value harmony or not. You said authenticity first. That alone to me is an indicator of what you prefer (authenticity) and what you value (harmony). This is Fi imo. 



> To have some financial independence, a decent circle of friends that prove to be reliably interesting/insightful, and to be under the same roof every day with my partner. Having a wide selection of very superficial acquaintances would be nice too.


Total extroversion. You can forget about the fact that you're an introvert. 



> *Can't say a specific moment stands out.* Generally, it's when I'm around people and am making them laugh/I feel a vague sense of camaraderie.


This indicates weak Si to me. Which would make sense for someone with an intuition preference. 



> If I'm not mastering a concept perfectly, then this will make me feel inferior. Sometimes, I will have a sense of inferiority around people, but that's more centered on a lack of financial independence/not being at where I want to be career wise.


That's weak Te. A lot of people associate conceptual thinking with iNtuition, but that's not actually right. Abstract and Conceptual _thinking _is _Thinking_. Someone without a T preference will struggle with concepts and will definitely feel inferior. This is something I've seen consistently as a pattern with EXFP's because their Thinking is lower down the order. 



> People weigh on my decisions fairly consistently, but I also try to be conscious that whatever decision I'm making makes the most sense in the moment.


This one is harder to break apart. Elaborate on this more. Just give me as many thoughts on this as you can. 



> Making sure the project meets the minimum standards for whatever mundane benchmarks that are set. After the unpleasant mundane stuff is out of the way, I like to focus on creativity and controlling the outcome (because if control is removed, then creativity can suffer).


That is kind of the definition of Te. But you don't like it so you have to infuse your creativity into it. This is Te focus, but Ne is preferred so it wants to control it for satisfaction and to relieve the stress of relying on a weaker function. Ne-Te 



> Always times that I'm with my partner. She really is something. No particular moment stands out, but there's a holistic view of many amazing moments we've had. When I recall those times, I'm focusing on her, and the environment almost takes on the quality of a surreal painting. When I remember a fond memory, the people I'm with and atmosphere are a large part of it.


Ne/Si 



> I like to theorize mostly. There are times when "hands on" learning is preferred. I get anxious if I feel like the person isn't explaining things that helps to facilitate my understanding of whatever principle they're trying to convey.


Elaborate on this more. Think of a concept and just talk about it freely. How do you feel about say "The stars are fireflies stuck on a canopy" 



> Room is a mess with clothes scattered around. I'm always on time for appointments, like to stick to plans if any are made, etc. I wouldn't say I'm very organized, but sticking to a plan when there is a plan is a priority.


Ne-Te. 



> Both. Something has to seem logical, but other evidence to buttress those conclusions is preferred. But I guess if the conclusions are sound, further evidence isn't necessarily required. My preference though is to look for further evidence.


Te. You want verification of your beliefs through external information. 



> I don't always find these things as separate. I suppose if I had to pick, probably authenticity, but usually don't approve of the typical presentation of "authenticity."


Fi. 



> Probably the latter. *I prefer a free-flowing style of talk*, but don't necessarily put a lot of stock into what I say.


Absolutely Ne



> While I'm fairly impulsive, when it comes to new situations, I'd like to know where I'm jumping before leaping.


That's not Se at all. This is Ne because you're considering possibilities of what could happen as opposed to just engaging being in the moment. I do before I think. You seem to consider what could happen before doing. 



> If my partner is there, spend time with her. I do like spending time with friends, but I really like spending time with my partner vs. friends (but if I haven't seen friends in awhile, I tend to wilt).


Yeah. Forget about thinking that you're an introvert. You're not. Rule them all out pretty much imo. 



> Maybe a little neurotic. *I'll doubt myself and try to think of other possibilities to get myself out of the mess I'm in, and rarely follow through with the ideas.* Low self-image follows. But thanks to a short attention span, it doesn't last long.


Absolutely struggle between dominant Ne and inferior Si. Si being the practical function that makes someone stay grounded and rooted to acting practically upon the best possibility.


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## bucolic (Apr 4, 2017)

Reap said:


> Total extroversion. You can forget about the fact that you're an introvert.


I keep getting this from people, so at least in terms of a social pattern, it's holding firm. 




> That's weak Te. A lot of people associate conceptual thinking with iNtuition, but that's not actually right. Abstract and Conceptual _thinking _is _Thinking_. Someone without a T preference will struggle with concepts and will definitely feel inferior. This is something I've seen consistently as a pattern with EXFP's because their Thinking is lower down the order.


Yeah, it's possible. However the one thing that should be ferreted out is whether or not a correlation between self-doubt about concepts and poor concept building exists. 




> This one is harder to break apart. Elaborate on this more. Just give me as many thoughts on this as you can.


It's friction between impulse control and trying to think independently. I'd say other people stimulate a feeling impulse in me, and I try to marry that to semi-rational thinking. Again, I can see the flaws in the moment when I let other people steer my views, but have a difficult stopping myself. 




> Elaborate on this more. Think of a concept and just talk about it freely. How do you feel about say "The stars are fireflies stuck on a canopy"


I'll try to avoid thinker-y cliches here, as in "why are the fireflies up there? what are their mating patterns? the sociological implications, etc" How do they survive? What else exists on the canopy? Do the fireflies inspire religions below them? If so, how many? How long on average does it take for those religions to terminate? Will billionaires reach that canopy before the rest of the human race? 





> Te. You want verification of your beliefs through external information.


Mostly in agreement here. 




> Yeah. Forget about thinking that you're an introvert. You're not. Rule them all out pretty much imo.


Like I said, the social pattern of being typed as an EN is holding up so far. Ne dom makes sense, because these types report a greater need to be alone than other extroverted types.


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## Lady of Clockwork (Dec 14, 2017)

I know it's just a journal, but there isn't much to go by. You could be any type. You talk about your use of Ne, but nothing in your answers expresses or elaborates any iNtuition. It's as if you see all these options and possibilities - concepts, as you call them - but you only stick to what's familiar with you; and your over-focus on these concepts and possibilities makes me think N is inferior to you, because those with strong iNtuition would experience it naturally and unconsciously, not needing to focus their attention on it. It's not unfamiliar territory to them, and will automatically be their basis for them to focus on things that probably don't come naturally to them. With this in mind, I get ESxx -- how anything is applied, you haven't elaborated.


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## bucolic (Apr 4, 2017)

Lady of Clockwork said:


> I know it's just a journal, but there isn't much to go by. You could be any type. You talk about your use of Ne, but nothing in your answers expresses or elaborates any iNtuition. It's as if you see all these options and possibilities - concepts, as you call them - but you only stick to what's familiar with you; and your over-focus on these concepts and possibilities makes me think N is inferior to you, because those with strong iNtuition would experience it naturally and unconsciously, not needing to focus their attention on it. It's not unfamiliar territory to them, and will automatically be their basis for them to focus on things that probably don't come naturally to them. With this in mind, I get ESxx -- how anything is applied, you haven't elaborated.


It's always unclear to me when people use the word intuition. I wonder if they confuse it with certainty (at least Ni).

I think you are right that I am focusing too much, but the reasons for that aren't very clear to me. I also wouldn't say this "hyper-focus" ends at concepts or possibilities. I seem to do this pretty universally. 

I'm not sure how much of what I've written is genuine. When I sit down to write about myself, I'm making an effort to cobble together a sense of self. It's very much in the moment and forced. In truth, I'm not very comfortable writing about myself.


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## bucolic (Apr 4, 2017)

"but there isn't much to go by"

I get this whenever I do a type me thing. "It's all so vague."


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## bucolic (Apr 4, 2017)

Now I'm stuck between INFj and ENFx. Meh. I think I should just "settle" on one for awhile.


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## Lunacik (Apr 19, 2014)

bucolic said:


> It just occurred to me that I might be an ISTJ wrapped in an ENTP being beaten to death by an ENFP.


Looool
let's go with that.

I'm rethinking INTP tbh. I do have some similarities, and it would explain my estranged relationship (lack thereof) with Fi. I relate to Inferior Fe issues also. And it's what I always get as results, I've never gotten INFJ throughout all these years until working on Fe more recently. And sharing personal things is uncomfortable, I'm more confident in my logic and can't confide in people easily. And I dislike / reject my feelings. IDK.


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## bucolic (Apr 4, 2017)

Yeah, it can be difficult to disentangle recent development from long-standing personality traits. You could be INTP, but I'm not sure I've seen enough of your posts to confidently assert that you are one.


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## Lunacik (Apr 19, 2014)

bucolic said:


> Yeah, it can be difficult to disentangle recent development from long-standing personality traits. You could be INTP, but I'm not sure I've seen enough of your posts to confidently assert that you are one.


Yeah, sometimes. IDK. I thought I was INTP until PerC started insisting otherwise n then had an epiphany where it all clicked with INFJ. For a while I was firm on it. Not sure.


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## bucolic (Apr 4, 2017)

Yeah, I'd say from what I've seen thus far INFJ (or xNFx) is a better fit, but again that's tentative. 

As far as my type, thinking about how the Ne/Si dynamic describes me pretty well. Now just trying to fill in what's in between.


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