# Personality Theory & Relationships



## Denature (Nov 6, 2015)

To what extent do you believe personality theory can help you find your ideal relationship?

Should you even consider personality type when dating?

Do you apply personality theory in your life?


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## SilentScream (Mar 31, 2011)

> To what extent do you believe personality theory can help you find your ideal relationship?


None. Though we met on PerC, we were both mistyped. We've been together for almost 9 years now and only recently realized what our types actually were and it really made no literal difference. Tyche has tuned out personality typing pretty much entirely over the last 7+ years (barely even thinks/talks about it). meanwhile I only use it as a means to engage in conversation with people who are interested in it. Once that conversation with people who into typology ends, I tune it out and forget it even exists - except for a few comments here and there post-humus of how something type related happened. It's not a predictive tool and shouldn't be used as one. 



> Should you even consider personality type when dating?


No. According to supposed type compatibility experts, my wife and I aren't supposed to be a common relationship type at all (ESTJ 3w2 and ENP 1w2) but we're a lot more compatible than ENPs and ESTJ's talk about each other. We're a functionality-first couple though which is an outcome of our types, but innate compatibility has very little to do with it. 

Type is merely a blueprint of a person's _potential _innate characteristics and we are far, far more than that by the time we get to the age of maturity for a stable relationship. If you're still largely governed by your innateness in your mid 20s and 30's, then you're probably doing something wrong. The innateness is too primal to be left ungoverned and uncontrolled by itself. It might be too chaotic for a relationship. You need to be more than your innate/primal nature - which is _all_ typology attempts to explain. 



> Do you apply personality theory in your life?


No. Not even remotely. I forget it exists once I stop talking about it. It's not a predictive tool but it's something I use to analyse what happened and why. Then I stop giving a shit about it.


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## ReliK (Feb 24, 2019)

Hasn't worked well for me. 

https://www.kgrierson.com/emotional-intelligence/projecting-an-idealized-other/


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