# ENTPs in High School



## SomeOtherName (Apr 17, 2018)

Hello, fellow ENTPs.

I was wondering if you guys could be so kind to share your high school experience with me, whether you've already graduated or are currently enrolled.

I personally was a major outcast and gravitated towards the quiet nerdy kids that usually wound up being INTPs. I could get along with any group of people except one; the 'popular' girls hated me and I didn't like them back. They had no reason to, really, to my knowledge, but that's just the way it was. I was the only extraverted 'outcast' and usually said the things the shy ones wanted to... maybe me voicing my opinion that went against theirs is what made them dislike me so much. It's a mystery to me.

Anyways, I fit in everywhere but belonged nowhere. I was the kid who knew everyone, but nobody really _knew_ me. They knew _of_ me, but they didn't actually bother to get to know who I really was, with the exception of a few shy quiet kids. I kind of forced them to get to know me, though; I would talk their ear off because they were the only ones who truly listened, and after awhile, they would start answering and we would have a wonderful friendship.

At my second high school, I found a group of kids that were the kind of social misfit I was; we had the same interests and humour. I was estatic. I thought I had finally found a friend group. but they wound up being almost worse than the popular preppy girls; they spoke poorly about me behind my back, saying I was only hanging out with them because I felt bad for them, which was in no way the case. I stung. One even said I didn't look the way they did, so I couldn't hang out with them... ???who??says???that?????

I also had quite a few issues with some of my teachers. If I didn't agree with their methods, I told them. They didn't like that at all - which, while understandable, bothered me, because they punished me for it and both them and I knwe that deep down, them punishing me was their attempt at silencing me because we both very well knew that what I was saying was the truth.

Anyways... any other ENTPs have a high school experience different from the average? :tongue:

Edit: Other NTs are very welcome to answer! I realized right after I posted it that other NTs can very well experience the same thing (I knew an ENTJ that had similar struggles to me, but not quite to the same extent) and therefore didn't change the title... but yeah. Any and all NTs, feel free to share


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## Marshy (Apr 10, 2016)

I wish I could be as unique as you


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## SirCanSir (Mar 21, 2018)

Marshy14 said:


> I wish I could be as unique as you


because nothing matters?


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## SirCanSir (Mar 21, 2018)

Nothing special about me overall, as ive said in other threads i had a hard time in my teens because my overall personality would be "too adaptable" and insincere.

I made good friends inspite of all of that though, actually somehow i believe thats the only field i succeded so well.
My current charachter is completely different than the teen me, the teen me was full of insecurities and was too closed to be called ENTP, but would still show some signs of it. Poor Fe might be the reason. If I am ENTP that is.
Right now im the opposite actually, got over many insecurites i had back then (mainly because we lived far from town and i was too much blocked from teen society ways. Like when in elementary school i would hang out every day with people because i lived nearby them. I was happy and healthy. When in my teens (especially my early ones) i would be quite, withdrown and sensitive. You could say i was a true misfit.
Later on i got some courage and started socialise again but i faked a lot and i came to hate that part of myself. Now i somewhat understand that i actually cared for other people more than myself with all that unhealthy shitty and wimpy behavior.
When i left highschool i came to understand myself and accept me somewhat, though im still sure i havent yet got to understand everything about me. 

This happened and i transformed into someone selfish who cares about himself more, but will try to compromise if needed for the greater good. Someone free with huge goals without much depression on his back anymore.
As for friendships, as i said i made some good ones, i can relate to your part mostly in elementary school where i was more open, but im into misfits in general was and still am. I like the weird and it likes me back because im weird too.

I dont know about the school "divas" and how they work never really got that close to the kind if it existed in my school. 
I could talk with anyone but i would have only some friends back then where i could share more. Still with my fake self i mostly shared some common interests. Personality wise i didnt share a thing and even now that im open and sincere i doubt there is actually anyone out there who i ve shared my whole self with. Even in my relationships i dont think i went that far. Its because of that chameleon attitude where you adapt somewhat and only show the interests of yours that could work with the person at hand.
Thats a sad thing about ENTPs. or maybe my 8 enna wing is just kicking in here. I ve always cared too much for respect and strength so i just recently made peace to be able to show weakness. Still its like that aint default for me so i try to avoid it a lot. I could joke about my weaknesses at most. Getting into deep talks about them would require someone close to me or else i doubt i would do it.

Lately though i seem to not give much of a damn. Its pretty much relieving.


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## SomeOtherName (Apr 17, 2018)

Marshy14 said:


> I wish I could be as unique as you


I'm sure you're very special yourself


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## SomeOtherName (Apr 17, 2018)

SirCanSir said:


> Nothing special about me overall, as ive said in other threads i had a hard time in my teens because my overall personality would be "too adaptable" and insincere.
> 
> I made good friends inspite of all of that though, actually somehow i believe thats the only field i succeded so well.
> My current charachter is completely different than the teen me, the teen me was full of insecurities and was too closed to be called ENTP, but would still show some signs of it. Poor Fe might be the reason. If I am ENTP that is.
> ...


I'm realizing the way I initially worded my thread makes me sound like a pretentious, high on herself asshole lol
It's whatever
I think people get the message, no matter how irritating it makes me seem

But I definitely do think that ENTPs are major chameleons. I don't know why, but I always have been that way myself, and think other ENTPs can relate to it...


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## SirCanSir (Mar 21, 2018)

assholekkonen said:


> I'm realizing the way I initially worded my thread makes me sound like a pretentious, high on herself asshole lol
> It's whatever
> I think people get the message, no matter how irritating it makes me seem
> 
> But I definitely do think that ENTPs are major chameleons. I don't know why, but I always have been that way myself, and think other ENTPs can relate to it...


Yes dont worry im not judging, i can tell some impulsive behavior of you is because you are still 18. I could be way more jumpy and immature back then. Actually no i wouldnt even care about psychology, i was just into having some fun with my friends outside, watching game of thrones and playing some game.


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## Marshy (Apr 10, 2016)

SirCanSir said:


> because nothing matters?


!


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## Cal (Sep 29, 2017)

I am more so just lonely. I go to a pretty small single-sex high school, filled with extroverts and I only have 3 friends(though two of them are slowly gravitating away from me, and are beginning to blend in with the other girls at our school). My grades have also been falling(dramatically) due to stress, lack of sleep, shorter attention span, forgetfulness, and me not being able to cope with the changes. I have also now been having more depressing thoughts than before too. I have been getting drained more than last year, due to how noisy the girls are at my school. The kids at my school are nice to me, as are the staff, but they are also very uncomfortable to be around. I am mainly lonely in all of my classes, except for math, where I sit beside one of my friends. The kids at my school are oblivious to the world around them, and most of the information they share is usually flawed and comes from biased sources or blogs. I do not fit in very well, due to me being more private, having a different personality and understanding of the world, not having social media, not obsessing over celebrities, etc. For the most part, I do not feel like I am apart of their "community", but it doesn't really matter. You don't go to school for that crap, but to instead receive some of the utmost crappiest learning experiences ever(well, at least for me, anyway).


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## SirCanSir (Mar 21, 2018)

Cal said:


> I am more so just lonely. I go to a pretty small single-sex high school, filled with extroverts and I only have 3 friends(though two of them are slowly gravitating away from me, and are beginning to blend in with the other girls at our school). My grades have also been falling(dramatically) due to stress, lack of sleep, shorter attention span, forgetfulness, and me not being able to cope with the changes. I have also now been having more depressing thoughts than before too. I have been getting drained more than last year, due to how noisy the girls are at my school. The kids at my school are nice to me, as are the staff, but they are also very uncomfortable to be around. I am mainly lonely in all of my classes, except for math, where I sit beside one of my friends. The kids at my school are oblivious to the world around them, and most of the information they share is usually flawed and comes from biased sources or blogs. I do not fit in very well, due to me being more private, having a different personality and understanding of the world, not having social media, not obsessing over celebrities, etc. For the most part, I do not feel like I am apart of their "community", but it doesn't really matter. You don't go to school for that crap, but to instead receive some of the utmost crappiest learning experiences ever(well, at least for me, anyway).


I ve told you before but you are way too mature for your age. I understood that you would have this kind of problem the moment you told me you are still in highschool, but i didnt imagine that you could be suffering from depression back then.
Its also the fact that you go to all girls-school that could be hard for you. You could relate more if there were boys and more options for you to around. I ve got some friends from highschool who would operate exactly the same manner you do right now. Back then it hit them a great deal like none in the world would understand them. I had something similar but i was faking too so my problem was on a level of its own. 
You on the other hand think like its not bearable, like its the end of the world and you will never find someone to share a geneuine relationship with and be able to feel happy. Let me tell you that this is just temporary. When you get in collage you are going to understand the world is far more vast than you have ever imagined. You will find people who share your interests or way of thinking and these people will open up to you the same way you are going to open up to them. Then maturity hits. Everyone you think as dumb unrealistic kid living in his own world will come to understand reality. You will feel them closer to your perceptive.
They will understand you more and you will understand them too. 

Perception of who is the coolest will change. You will find yourself on a side where many people will be interested to talk with you.
You will see that you are actually way better than you even thought about. Your confidence will rise and you are going to see the world from a whole new perceptive.
Asuming you move out from your home you are going to experience many new things. You will see yourself enjoying stuff you never thought you would. You will feel yourself desire things. Desire love, and exchanges that are going to make you change your standpoints. 
You are going to be open and free at the same time. Insecurities will fly away and interest for the new is going to replace them.

Thats how i see my collage experience untill now. Its been one hell of a ride. I made friends with people that i see as brothers now.
My previous-highschool friends all matured in a way we are all much closer. My friends who had the same problem as you? we are on the same page now.

What matters is if you got the time to wait for this new world. For the time being i would say that it would be good for you to try to open up. Dont keep things for yourself. You might think that none is interested but what matters to stupid humans is actually how much you can sell what you believe in. Find connections for your how your interests could apply to those girls. Speak more freely about them. Even if someone judges you its something temporary. Its better to have a strong charachter than being afraid and blending in. Well you need to blend in enough to sell yourself. But people are drown to those who are strong and arent afraid to show how they view the world. Because that takes some damn courage to do. 

My advice would be to use your chances as much as you can. See life as a game to get better at. It makes you excited. All those possibilites for you becoming successful. Its a great dopamine.

If you are bored talking with those girls try another kind. Im sure there is someone out there who you can relate with. Like i said this is going to become apparent later on but for now just use this childish society to your advantage. Make friendships, that you dont know what they are going to turn into in the future (when maturity kicks). 

Be yourself and by being selfish others will come to you. Thats what ive come to understand. Be proud of your personality.
Thats what makes you special.


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## Restless Thinker (Apr 23, 2018)

assholekkonen said:


> Edit: Other NTs are very welcome to answer! I realized right after I posted it that other NTs can very well experience the same thing (I knew an ENTJ that had similar struggles to me, but not quite to the same extent) and therefore didn't change the title... but yeah. Any and all NTs, feel free to share


Yay, I can post now. 

High school was a lot better for me than middle school was. I got glasses that I needed very badly (which I lacked in middle school) so I could finally read the freaking white boards and chalk boards — as a result my grades got a lot better very quickly, and for other reasons. My freshman year in high school was pretty much the moment I discovered the joys of cynicism (or rather became more deeply rooted in it) that came from a heightened social awareness, which, incidentally, made me immune to attempts from bullies and other bottom-feeders to take advantage of me (socially). 

There isn't too much I can say about my high school experience, at least compared to the OP and to SirCanSir: Until junior year (when I contracted senioritis), my grades were pretty good by and large despite the offset of my weaknesses (being a slow note taker (and test taker on written answers), losing interest in lectures sometimes, etc.) and I almost never got into any trouble with staff or peers. I was well received by peers and teachers in the classes I enjoyed and did well in (usually math and science classes, sometimes English classes) and was more or less a ghost in the classes I didn't care for, especially when I didn't particularly care for the teacher either. 

I never had what I would consider friends in high school, but I had some pleasant social interactions with some classmates during and outside of certain classes. I would describe my overall experience as socially isolated, but not unkind in general. Most students left me alone and the few who interacted with me (or mentioned me by name) were friendly or at least respectful. 

Relating to the OP slightly, I did challenge one teacher. Ever. That I can remember at least, and it was in high school coincidentally enough. Unfortunately, it was a subject I knew next to nothing about at the time, so I could not defend my position when I dared to break the class' conformity of agreeing with the teacher's personal point of view. 



Cal said:


> You don't go to school for that crap, but to instead receive some of the utmost crappiest learning experiences ever(well, at least for me, anyway).


Yeah, pretty much. There was a time when I dreamed of reforming the school system when I was a slightly younger, more optimistic, person. I went so far as to take notes and draw up plans of the conceptual basis for the curriculum and how it would differ from the current models to be more challenging, stimulating, and ultimately more fulfilling and helpful to students in the long run. Less emphasis on rote memorization and busy work, more emphasis on a wider (and deeper) breadth of subject matter and critical thinking; that kind of thing.


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## Timelordvictorious (May 9, 2018)

I was top of the class. At first I hanged around with a group of people that was quite boring so I barely participated in the group. Finally some more interesting goth kids joined in my third year and I went straight to be friends with them, causing some sort of rivalry with the other group, but they sucked anyway. If anyone dared to bully or just bother me I had a free pass to be aggresive because I had a good grades, look like a saintly nerd, and so teachers didn't care about what I did. I considered my class really boring, hated pretty much everyone, so high school was an uneventful time for me, university was a lot more fun.


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## SirCanSir (Mar 21, 2018)

Timelordvictorious said:


> I was top of the class. At first I hanged around with a group of people that was quite boring so I barely participated in the group. Finally some more interesting goth kids joined in my third year and I went straight to be friends with them, causing some sort of rivalry with the other group, but they sucked anyway. If anyone dared to bully or just bother me I had a free pass to be aggresive because I had a good grades, look like a saintly nerd, and so teachers didn't care about what I did. I considered my class really boring, hated pretty much everyone, so high school was an uneventful time for me, university was a lot more fun.


Praise University!
You still got the doctor in your life anyway


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## SomeOtherName (Apr 17, 2018)

Cal said:


> I am more so just lonely. I go to a pretty small single-sex high school, filled with extroverts and I only have 3 friends(though two of them are slowly gravitating away from me, and are beginning to blend in with the other girls at our school). My grades have also been falling(dramatically) due to stress, lack of sleep, shorter attention span, forgetfulness, and me not being able to cope with the changes. I have also now been having more depressing thoughts than before too. I have been getting drained more than last year, due to how noisy the girls are at my school. The kids at my school are nice to me, as are the staff, but they are also very uncomfortable to be around. I am mainly lonely in all of my classes, except for math, where I sit beside one of my friends. The kids at my school are oblivious to the world around them, and most of the information they share is usually flawed and comes from biased sources or blogs. I do not fit in very well, due to me being more private, having a different personality and understanding of the world, not having social media, not obsessing over celebrities, etc. For the most part, I do not feel like I am apart of their "community", but it doesn't really matter. You don't go to school for that crap, but to instead receive some of the utmost crappiest learning experiences ever(well, at least for me, anyway).


I am very extraverted but high school kind of took that away from me. In school, I would have friends, but I was never really close with any of them, until grade 12... I met a girl who had very similar experiences to me; mostly bad ones. I had heard all about it from other people before moving back to that city (where I went to grade 9) for grade 12, and everyone was telling me that she had got 'weird' since I had moved. Her and I were not really friends in grade 9; I sat in front of her in math, and we chatted at times - always friendly - but we never hung out outside of class.
Then, in grade 12, it all changed, and we got really close. I was drawn to her because she seemed more mature and real than nearly everyone else in that grade. She at first tried to shut me out as she had with everyone else, but after only about a week, we had already become very good friends. We hung out multiple times every week, and only got closer... by then, she had kind of been drawn out of her shell, and eventually made other friends and kind of left me behind. It hurt, but I am not holding a grudge over it (any more); if she hadn't, I wouldn't have became as close with another friend who I am still most in contact out of all the people I met in high school to this day.
Because I was so extraverted, high school without any friends would have been extremely depressing because classes bored me to tears (no exaggeration there), but at the same time...
I guess what I'm trying to say in a roundabout way is that I needed to be social but I didn't really fit in anywhere. Everyone told me it would change as soon as I graduated and went to college/university, but now that I have graduated, I've moved away and started working straightaway and I'm a little regretful over it. I'm seeing all my friends complete their first year of post secondary while I'm on the other side of the world and I for some reason feel lonelier than ever. But for some reason, it feels like it wouldn't be any different if I would have gone to college or uni...

I don't know. I'm probably rambling because PerC is my place to escape and find people I can actually relate to (sorry for going on for so long). And I feel that NTs are my people that I can actually connect with; people that make me feel less alone (of all of the hundreds of people I'm exposed to on a daily basis, I only know 2 or 3 other NTs, and they're all years younger than me). So thank you for answering.


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