# A question for the virgins



## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

Don't get me wrong, it does take time, but seriously you live once and it can end at any time, what could possess you from wanting to feel the ultimate pleasure in life?


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## Donkey D Kong (Feb 14, 2011)

- I don't really care enough to try.
- I'm not attractive enough.
- I'm not a social drone that does what everyone wants me to do, which makes me unlikable.

I think I've spoken for a lot of people with this.


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## Who (Jan 2, 2010)

Because I'm lazy and cheap. Why go out and spend my time and money on a date or hooker when I can get something pretty close to the same thing with my hand for free? Sure, it may not feel quite as good but at least I won't accidentally make a baby or catch an STD.


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## Olena (Jan 2, 2011)

because I tend to find people repulsive and I don't like being touched so easily.

I prefer people keep their distance unless they're close to me.

But I guess this is an...'INT' thing?

I also have this issue with...well...I don't want to contract an STD that ruins my sex life permanently so I'm quite content on waiting til I find a trustworthy partner I can have sex with.

I'm aware condom exists but I'm not particularly interested in them and they do not protect 100% against things like Herpes. Herpes you can get from kissing or oral sex even.


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## nádej (Feb 27, 2011)

Because, silly as it may seem, I want to be in love when I have sex.

And at this point I honestly don't think I've ever been in love.


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## ALNF1031 (Jul 27, 2011)

Thomas D M Thompson said:


> Don't get me wrong, it does take time, but seriously you live once and it can end at any time, what could possess you from wanting to feel the ultimate pleasure in life?


Because what ultimate pleasure is, is subjective to the person.


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## Narrator (Oct 11, 2009)

I'd have to feel the right way about someone, and to be dating them, and dating/intimacy of that kind isn't my cup of tea -- too overwhelming.


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## heartturnedtoporcelain (Apr 9, 2010)

I don't want to have sex - simple as that.


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## kristle (Oct 21, 2010)

*You can't miss something you've never had. *

Or at least that's the way I view it. Obviously I don't qualify for the virgin part of this, but it's the same concept as someone asking why I've never tried drugs, ect. and my answer is always the same. I don't see it as something that's to die for because I'd have to experience it to feel that way about it. Otherwise, it's just one more thing that people spend their money on that I don't have to be concerned about.


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## Bast (Mar 23, 2011)

You may be shocked to find out that some people simply have no desire at all to have sex.

ETA: Or that some people who have had sex don't think it's "the ultimate pleasure in life" and couldn't care less about it.


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## viva (Aug 13, 2010)

What an ignorant question. :bored:


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## GoodOldDreamer (Sep 8, 2011)

Hmm... that's funny, the ultimate pleasure in life for me is being in love with someone. I don't particularly care if sex is ever involved in that, because it really can't compare. But, maybe that's just me.

And no, I no longer hold the v-card, so I do know and my view hasn't changed.

Anyway, why does this matter to you? Clearly it's not something you're still holding onto or anything. P Any reason I can think of for virginity is a legit reason, and should be respected. If more people would hold on to it, there'd be less teen pregnancies, abortions, and STDs in general. -_-


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## Adrian Acclaim Cooper (Aug 16, 2011)

All I can say is I'm an Incel and some of us can't get laid due to reasons that seem kinda beyond us.
Like sometimes I think its not entirely my fault because girls don't want me or whatever, i'm just not attractive enough, the social situation I have gotten myself into (one which lacks girls) and the fact that I just never got "lucky" with a girl.

But I am also waiting for the right one and my NF morals tell me not to waste it on a girl who doesn't deserve me. It's about it being entirely special the first time,I guess being 23 now has made me solidify the notion that I should keep my standards intact and not lower them for a girl just because I'm 23 and still haven't gotten it. Like I'm not biting the bullet with a girl I don't really find attractive and such unless she approaches me and does some/most of the work, and then I'd only do it because I'm too nice and want to reward her for her efforts but giving her at least some sort of chance.

And yes I tears me up and destroys me that I'm 23 and can't get laid, but honestly I would hate my options just being as big as my social/work/school circle and I know that with my effort and putting in all the work I can totally push my self and learn to become the high quality guy that gets women he wants. So I know once I start getting laid and getting whaat I want it'll be all worth it.


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## IonOfAeons (Dec 2, 2010)

The only situations where I've come close I've decided against it. It has to be more than just a spur of the moment thing. The idea of it happening when it's not something that I've built up to with the person is repulsive to me. This isn't much of a conscious decision, it's simply a gut reaction of 'no, I don't want to do this' whenever I can sense the possibility arising. Perhaps with a person in the future it will happen, but right now I'm happy as a virgin.


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## kudi (Sep 27, 2011)

Sex is worshiped to much. Its only inconceivable to you that someone would choose to be a virgin since you probably think about it a lot and is likely part of your own identity/ daily life. 
Its a choice, no different than choosing you don't want cable... I mean who can tolerate never watching TV??


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## GoodOldDreamer (Sep 8, 2011)

I never watch TV anymore. But then again, I have YouTube. Does that count? D


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## kudi (Sep 27, 2011)

GoodOldDreamer said:


> I never watch TV anymore. But then again, I have YouTube. Does that count? D


Heathen!! Convert! 

.....May ABC, CBS and Fox have mercy on your soul.


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## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

Well maybe should of stated sex with pleasure and not a one hit miss kind of obscure experience that left you wondering wtf was the point of that.


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## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

Bast said:


> You may be shocked to find out that some people simply have no desire at all to have sex.
> 
> ETA: Or that some people who have had sex don't think it's "the ultimate pleasure in life" and couldn't care less about it.


It's not that it's shocking or that I intend to troll people. From everything else I have had before it leads me to see it as the ultimate pleasure, with someone you love and have a genuine mind altering orgasm with as well.


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## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

kudi said:


> Sex is worshiped to much. Its only inconceivable to you that someone would choose to be a virgin since you probably think about it a lot and is likely part of your own identity/ daily life.
> Its a choice, no different than choosing you don't want cable... I mean who can tolerate never watching TV??


... you have ESP? Can read my thoughts somehow? /confused


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

To say that the religious reasons are invalid purely because religion is invalid isn't really exploring the reasons for those in religion. In examining the reasoning for certain things in Judaism for example, it seems that they had uncovered perfectly reasonable ways of going about things, not based on science - but people forget that science is but one way to reach a conclusion. I have seen several 'rules' in Judaism that appeal to me because they seem to touch on truths in humanity, and especially sexuality. 

I am not a religious person, and I am quite certain that I am not capable of believing that there is a 'god' however I was turned onto ancient Jewish mysticism because many of the philosophies were identical to what I had come to know through my experiences in life. These philosophies were beautiful and filled in a lot of gaps in my own reasoning. 

I am not writing this as a virgin, but as a person who seems to have more conservative sexual practices than many of those around me, that one could just as easily say are silly, and backed only by some religious crutch out of fear. And that couldn't be further from the truth. When I read the Kabbalah book of sex, it shed a whole new light on why I came to the conclusions I came to about the sacredness of sex - something that most people will never know. I never had such great sex until I experienced it this way, and only within the relationship. If I hadn't had all of those awful experiences that left me feeling like something was .. wrong (and this is no residual ex-catholic school girl guilt. My family was never even religious. It was becoming more in touch with the deeper parts of myself, my emotions, my -true- needs, desires.. happiness.. path to real actualization from what is internal.) then I wouldn't have had such a hands-on experience to learn the mistakes first hand -- but I did, and someday maybe I can find an eloquent way to tell those who are holding out for something special, that its indeed worth it. I felt so tarnished for such a long time, behaving promiscuously and I didn't even know why I'd felt that way. It was being out of touch with my actual desires - my true emotional fulfillment. I think that a lot of people are very disconnected from that within themselves for various reasons, and think that theres nothing separating human sexuality from the sexuality of beasts. Well, there are things that no scalpel can separate, because they are all intertwined - human emotion, human love, passion, creativity, imagination, rationale. No matter how many studies are done on the mating habits of monkeys, no one can take that away.. and sex with love is the ultimate expression of human sexuality.


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## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

And that is why sex has no intrinsic meaning. You have to "create" that meaning yourself; and I will keep my foreskin thank you very much.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

Thomas D M Thompson said:


> And that is why sex has no intrinsic meaning. You have to "create" that meaning yourself; and I will keep my foreskin thank you very much.


Lol @ foreskin comment. 

I can't say for certain if everyone would enjoy sex more, with the type of meaning I speak of.. however I certainly _suspect_ that can be unlocked at some point, and that it would be so much better. But, thats from my personal observations, which won't resonate with some individuals for one reason or another. Different stages in development, from different perceptions, different life experiences. I think everyone reaches a point though, where they start to ask.. am I -really- happy. Is -this- really making me happy. The process illustrated in the book I mentioned makes sense. It gets into the psychology of 'meaningless' sexual encounters, the emptiness eventually felt in connecting.. with.. no connection. 

I also think a lot of these virgins perhaps feel more content in waiting for someone special, for similar reasons as to why I changed my habits to only wanting sex with that connection. 

There is also a type of meaning in 'meaningless' (was perhaps not the best word. I think that what I am touching on here is greater meaning, not lesser meaning, in the hierarchy of desires..) sex, where a person is in pursuit of it for various more superficial reasons: proving something to oneself like gaining commodity, or resource - one can acquire a lay in a carnal and primitive way, where they feel like they have conquered something. I find this one is common, and I see it as unhealthy because in this practice, they are obscuring a more healthy purpose for sex. I have read a few articles on sexual practices becoming habit, not simply a thing thats done sometimes, and sometimes this habit cannot be reversed because its an entire attitude that develops toward sex. 

For example, more and more men are having erectile problems because of internet porn habits. It causes many men to not be able to function normally for -real- sex. Now, given the option to go down either path, I'd say that if they knew better, they probably wouldn't have chosen the porn addiction over being able to function without performance anxiety or just a loss of appetite for real flesh.

Many sexual attitudes seem to embrace sexuality as commodity attainment. Status can be tied into the hunt. I think theres much more in the psychology of promiscuous sex than 'it feels good to get off' -- for some, self-esteem is tied into it. 'I can "get" this person in the sack.. therefore I am.. '

Anyway, theres probably a meaning attached to it every time, more than simple physical pleasure. The truth is that it is indeed some kind of connection with another person, whatever that connection means to the individual, and I think its better to reach for a truer sort of long-term happiness in a more healthy sexual attitude, than to just treat it like a sport where one becomes less able to reach their potential for being in a fulfilling relationship, which we are emotionally designed for if we can manage to get there.


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## Jwing24 (Aug 2, 2010)

My personal beliefs. Also, never had a girlfriend and I am not up for cheap sex and a one night stand.


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## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

There is nothing funny about cutting a mans private parts! Joking aside, I've found it to be true from my experience as well that having a connection with the person is important and can lead to greater sex. What astonishes me though is that virgins just keep at bay the emotional connection all for the crux of not being married yet to that person by the societal pressure of their family. In some cases it turns them off completely from experiencing it at all. Although the dogma of having a connection isn't true for all. Some enjoy only the physical aspect of sex without the emotional connection due to previous headaches in other relationships (women call them assholes for lack of a better term). Social prowess, and conquests are still meaningful, although probably not as romantic in definition to the meaning of sex and are still derived from personal experience, not an innate trait associated with sex.


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## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

Jwing24 said:


> My personal beliefs. Also, never had a girlfriend and I am not up for cheap sex and a one night stand.


 A girlfriend is the cheapest kind of sex, walk in the park, maybe 3.50$ for some ice-cream if you go dutch.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

Thomas D M Thompson said:


> There is nothing funny about cutting a mans private parts! Joking aside, I've found it to be true from my experience as well that having a connection with the person is important and can lead to greater sex. What astonishes me though is that virgins just* keep at bay the emotional connection all for the crux of not being married yet to that person by the societal pressure of their family. In some cases it turns them off completely from experiencing it at all. *Although the dogma of having a connection isn't true for all. Some enjoy only the physical aspect of sex without the emotional connection due to previous headaches in other relationships (women call them assholes for lack of a better term). Social prowess, and conquests are still meaningful, although probably not as romantic in definition to the meaning of sex and are still derived from personal experience, not an innate trait associated with sex.


I do agree with your point about how holding out simply for marriage because of some societal pressure can sort of cripple sexual desire. All of that restraint and being conditioned to think sex is bad and nasty and forbidden.. sure could take the wind out of the sails. Whos to say it will come back on the night of the honeymoon knamean x_x


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## kudi (Sep 27, 2011)

Thomas D M Thompson said:


> ... you have ESP? Can read my thoughts somehow? /confused


I don't have to read it, by your words you've told me whats on your mind. Intuition tells me to formulate a question takes time and therefore its been on your mind a while. 


> seriously you live once and it can end at any time, what could possess you from wanting to feel the ultimate pleasure in life?


How you set-up your question infers that others who do not think like you are irrational and labeling sex as 'ultimate' means it has a great importance in your life. I may not be spot on, but I think I've hit within the ball park. 

I don't know what your goal is, if your trying to convince others to share your view or want to simply want to learn then your strategy isn't a very effective one. I think your question needs to be refined, it looks like your mainly interested in the crowd that has chosen virginity for religious/cultural reasons rather than other reasons like personal choice, lack of opportunity, fear, etc. These are my observations, use them as a gauge and hopefully you'll achieve whatever you've set out to achieve.


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## Volis. (Oct 12, 2011)

Thomas D M Thompson said:


> So from what has been posted it has been perceived that religious obligation, fear of STDs, social awkwardness akin to depression or other mental illness is where the barrier lies. All of which are valid, however, religion is a social construct that really has no bearing on your present living, we all fear what is unknown and there are medications out there to get one out of depression and to become more social and also to eliminate self-consciousness to appearance and the like.


your experience you shared is valid (honestly, i'm happy for you), but this first part isn't. i appreciate your last sentence in your post but you say all given reasons are valid, but then continue with "however". it's contradictory. if they were valid there would be no reason to attempt to justify with personal opinion.

in response to everything excluding religious beliefs and customs, i think anyone who hasn't come to terms with their own sexuality and how it relates to their emotions and desires have to do it on their own time. sex and sexuality are beautiful. i only recently realized my femininity and it's refreshing and all new to me. and my experience falls under something you did not mention which was sexual abuse. which takes your initial belief/argument in your first post, saying how sex is "the ultimate pleasure in life" and flips it around. abuse really skews sex and perverts it in an unfair way in the abused persons' mind. it takes time to come to terms with it as well as to try to heal. and your near death experience may have sped things up for you or put your ideals/priorities/concerns into perspective much more easily for you, but for others it just takes some time.


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## V3n0M93 (May 20, 2010)

I don't care enough to lose it. 
Also, call me old-fashioned, but I think sex should be between two people who love each-other and one-night stands are sickening. The whole idea that virginity is something that has to be lost as soon as possible is really stupid.


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## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

Why?

10char.


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## Rick V. (Sep 27, 2011)

i agree with all who say u should be in love and with a person u truely trust


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## VenusianMizu (Sep 9, 2011)

1. It's a pride thing. I have to trust you and know you love me for me to even think about sleeping with you. If you take my virginity and drop off the face of the planet, and ultimately betray that trust you had to go through hell to get, I'd be not only devastated, but humiliated, in an angry way. And the way I take revenge _will_ scar you for life. 
2. I'm asocial, and I take life "a bit too seriously" for most people. They tend to keep their distance, so opportunities never present themselves, at least not outside of the context of a potential one-night stand (I don't believe in those)
3. There aren't any guys I care enough to WANT to sleep with in the first place. 
4. I don't know if this is an INFJ thing, but I don't understand the concept of 'getting it over with'. 
5. I'm patient. I'll wait as long as I have to. Sex isn't everything.


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## Angelic Gardevoir (Oct 7, 2010)

Promethea said:


> I do agree with your point about how holding out simply for marriage because of some societal pressure can sort of cripple sexual desire. All of that restraint and being conditioned to think sex is bad and nasty and forbidden.. sure could take the wind out of the sails. Whos to say it will come back on the night of the honeymoon knamean x_x


 This is a part of my reason for being a virgin. I was raised to believe that sex before marriage is immoral. As a result, I would feel bad if I violated this standard. At one point this would have been because of guilt, but now it's more in line with me not wanting to be seen as a lowlife, as I no longer view it as wrong.

That said, there are some other important reasons:

1. I find the idea of gratuitous sex rather shallow. I want it to be meaningful. Ergo, I would want to be in a relationship. 
2. That said, being in a relationship has never been my primary concern.
3. I've never been interested in any guys I know, and none of them have been interested in me. In fact, in high school, a few guys hit on me as a joke. (In fact, I would have to say that about 90% of the guys I went to high school with were morons.)
4. I've never actually had the opportunity to meet many other people.

As a result of the last two, I have zero dating experience.


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## MadGod (Oct 14, 2011)

I have an annoying habit of developing crushes on lesbians...

Probably not helping my own chances now that I come to think about it..


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## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

vivacissimamente said:


> What an ignorant question. :bored:


 what an arrogant answer


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## viva (Aug 13, 2010)

Thomas D M Thompson said:


> what an arrogant answer


Was it really necessary to quote me twice simply because I didn't bother responding to you the first time?


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## MXZCCT (May 29, 2011)

vivacissimamente said:


> Was it really necessary to quote me twice simply because I didn't bother responding to you the first time?


He wants your attention...

Hopefully he will realize this is PerC, not Match.com


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## MadGod (Oct 14, 2011)

Wait..this isn't match.com?

well there go all my hopes of meeting my perfect match *cries into pillow*


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## kudi (Sep 27, 2011)

Its ok MadGod, we'll get through this difficult time together. :tongue:


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## Brian1 (May 7, 2011)

So, I'm not a virgin, however, the OP seems to stress that if you don't have sex you're truly missing out on one of life's great pleasures. This thread was started in the month of October. What is October famous for? Halloween yes, but what else....Oktoberfest. Oktoberfest is held mostly all of the month of October in Germany. Big beer festival. One of the things I have to live with is how I'm missing out on one of life's great pleasures by not being a drinker. I would love to drink, but doing so might cause a seizure. If you haven't had one, consider yourself lucky. The actual drinking does not cause a seizure, it's if you've had three drinks and you've managed to get a hangover or drunk, and it's the coming out of that phase, that you're most likely to get hit with a seizure. This doesn't mean I don't drink. I do. I'm a casual wine drinker, but basically, I have to live with all these studies that show drinking red wine is good for your health, all these wine and beer festivals.....it's annoying. I was in a group that had a yearly outing to a wine festival, that's rough. So I can see why a person would not care if they were missing out on sex. You can't miss what you never had.


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## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

Brian1 said:


> So, I'm not a virgin, however, the OP seems to stress that if you don't have sex you're truly missing out on one of life's great pleasures. This thread was started in the month of October. What is October famous for? Halloween yes, but what else....Oktoberfest. Oktoberfest is held mostly all of the month of October in Germany. Big beer festival. One of the things I have to live with is how I'm missing out on one of life's great pleasures by not being a drinker. I would love to drink, but doing so might cause a seizure. If you haven't had one, consider yourself lucky. The actual drinking does not cause a seizure, it's if you've had three drinks and you've managed to get a hangover or drunk, and it's the coming out of that phase, that you're most likely to get hit with a seizure. This doesn't mean I don't drink. I do. I'm a casual wine drinker, but basically, I have to live with all these studies that show drinking red wine is good for your health, all these wine and beer festivals.....it's annoying. I was in a group that had a yearly outing to a wine festival, that's rough. So I can see why a person would not care if they were missing out on sex. You can't miss what you never had.


Although your point is sound, the example used is askew because sex itself has great health benefits, even if it's just masturbation.


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## Brian1 (May 7, 2011)

I know that, and I'm not saying people should refrain from having sex, I'm just saying I can see why it's hard to be for something if you've never experienced. I live on ice cream, Ben &Jerry's Haagan Daaz, I think the world of it. However,if people are lactose intolerant or can't have dairy, I can envision people not eating ice cream. I have a couple such friends. 



Thomas D M Thompson said:


> Although your point is sound, the example used is askew because sex itself has great health benefits, even if it's just masturbation.


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## kudi (Sep 27, 2011)

I only focused on school education since that is the other source besides our friends that we bother to get this information from. I can't agree with general knowledge the average education level in america is 5th grade level and health care coverage is spotty resulting people only meeting their doctor when they got a problem. Fear isn't all bad, a healthy amount will motivated people to learn more and to do that things you suggested.

Lets say I learn that looking both ways reduces my chances of getting hit by a truck, but that doesn't mean my fear of getting hit is totally gone. That fear insures that I look both ways every time, so that I may relax and cross the street without getting hit. What I'm saying is that feeling scared is not silly and is valid not matter how knowledgeable you are.


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## QuirkyQ (Oct 8, 2011)

You look both ways before crossing the street. You finally cross the street because you were careful. You live. Same goes for sex, same goes for anything. If you use common sense and take precaution - use birth control, plus condoms, plus get screened with your partner, plus use something called communication with said partner - why should you still have that fear?



> I can't agree with general knowledge the average education level in america is 5th grade level and health care coverage is spotty resulting people only meeting their doctor when they got a problem.


Where are your sources for this? Because in fact, 85.3% of Americans have attained at least a High School diploma, 27.9 with Bachelor's degrees. Source: http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/2012/tables/12s0233.pdf. And where do you live? Have you not heard of free clinics? Free care as a college/university student? Free sex education seminars at universities (some may be open to the public)? Free hotlines for teens where they can find an affordable or free place to learn and get tested/care? Places like Planned Parenthood (that I already mentioned in the previous post)? You don't need an appointment or have to exchange money to pick up information pamphlets from said places, and you can ask if they have any classes/seminars, or to speak with someone one-on-one. Hell, there are commercials, posters, all kinds of advertisements warning people to practice safe sex, get screened, etc. I have no job, no health insurance, but I get myself taken care of and find my information. If one person can do that, so can everyone else.

School is the other source to get information from besides friends? Laughable. There are clinics, doctors, parents, responsible adults, libraries, and the thing that you use to write on this forum - the internet.


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## QuirkyQ (Oct 8, 2011)

> In the church I believe there is a misconception and fear about sex, sexual attraction and linking all carnal desires to the devil. The results are uneducated youths and marriages with unsatisfying sex.





> By having an open dialogue with church members and offering education I believe we can have more sexually educated youth and more sexually satisfying marriages.


Quotes from your sex and relationship blog, Kudi.


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## kudi (Sep 27, 2011)

roud: Oh snap, I got caught with bad stats. I relent. Your very thorough :happy:.


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## Aish (Oct 28, 2010)

GoodOldDreamer said:


> Hmm... that's funny, the ultimate pleasure in life for me is being in love with someone. I don't particularly care if sex is ever involved in that, because it really can't compare. But, maybe that's just me.
> 
> And no, I no longer hold the v-card, so I do know and my view hasn't changed.
> 
> Anyway, why does this matter to you? Clearly it's not something you're still holding onto or anything. P Any reason I can think of for virginity is a legit reason, and should be respected. If more people would hold on to it, there'd be less teen pregnancies, abortions, and STDs in general. -_-


I agree totally with this statement. 
For some people experiencing love is far more passionate than sleeping with someone.
and for my own personal values, I would never sleep with someone unless I was married to them
and I would never marry them unless we both truly loved each other.
call me an idealist


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## Darkestblue (Apr 19, 2010)

Because I don't care anymore.


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## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

Aish said:


> I agree totally with this statement.
> For some people experiencing love is far more passionate than sleeping with someone.
> and for my own personal values, I would never sleep with someone unless I was married to them
> and I would never marry them unless we both truly loved each other.
> call me an idealist


I'd call you one hell of a gambler


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## Aish (Oct 28, 2010)

what do you mean by that? ^^


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## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

Aish said:


> what do you mean by that? ^^


To wait around without an inkling of making love to find someone to spend the rest of your life in order to do so is a gamble, a huge one, stakes so high it's indescribable


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## Fleetfoot (May 9, 2011)

Disregard my post here.


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## perfectcircle (Jan 5, 2011)

There is no point in having sex just to have it. That's negative pleasure.


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## Tofu99 (Jul 22, 2011)

adverseaffects said:


> There is no point in having sex just to have it. That's negative pleasure.


I see nothing wrong with it, as sex can be just sex, for pleasure alone.

Myself? I don't chase after sex because I don't have primary sexual attraction. People's physical features, and whatnot just don't carry any influence on me. Not that the act isn't interesting, I just don't find people worth chasing after for sex. too much work for pleasure when I could just do other things I enjoy.


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## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

adverseaffects said:


> There is no point in having sex just to have it. That's negative pleasure.


Quite the oxymoron you created. What's next, double-speak?


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## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

CKTofu said:


> I see nothing wrong with it, as sex can be just sex, for pleasure alone.
> 
> Myself? I don't chase after sex because I don't have primary sexual attraction. People's physical features, and whatnot just don't carry any influence on me. Not that the act isn't interesting, I just don't find people worth chasing after for sex. too much work for pleasure when I could just do other things I enjoy.


People can be attracted purely off of intellect. I had a great night with a 60 year old once. Probably the best sex I ever had in fact.


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## La Li Lu Le Lo (Aug 15, 2011)

Thomas D M Thompson said:


> Quite the oxymoron you created. What's next, double-speak?


Makes sense to me. If you're not interested in sex, and have it just because someone pressured you, would you still enjoy it?


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## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

LaLiLuLeLo said:


> Makes sense to me. If you're not interested in sex, and have it just because someone pressured you, would you still enjoy it?


I took what he said as any pleasure will be negative in regards to sex, not necessarily the same thing. Unless he wants to be more specific.


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## WickedQueen (Jun 1, 2009)

Thomas D M Thompson said:


> So from what has been posted it has been perceived that religious obligation, fear of STDs, social awkwardness akin to depression or other mental illness is where the barrier lies. All of which are valid, however, *religion is a social construct that really has no bearing on your present living.* I suppose when one is faced with death, you immediately lose regard for risk or social constructs anymore since the fact that you will one day die and that all to be experienced in life will go with you, it is then imperative to get busy living life and taking risk than fearing and dying not knowing what it was like to live.


As a religious person, I find your words remarkably shallow. Not because it is illogical, but because of how ignorant and condescending it is towards other people's principles and belief. Keep living with that kind of thought, and I bet someday people will find your dead body in a dark ally, beaten to death by people who felt insulted by your 'my-way-of-life-is-best' arrogance. 

Religion is a social construct to _you_. Not everybody thinks like this. And just because they don't think like you do, doesn't mean they are _wrong _and you are _right_. For some people, religion is the ultimate meaning of life, that made them see sex as unimportant and uninteresting. Buddha left his royal status, his wives, and all the pleasure he had, only to find a greater meaning of life. Look how great his impact is on modern live and to people's lives.




Thomas D M Thompson said:


> This is why I lost my virginity after having a near death experience requiring full resuscitation to come back to life and out of all the life experiences, the drugs I've taken, and the times I've had, sex/love whatever you think of it as, is the best feeling to have. Faced with your mortality can you only then wake up to the harsh reality, and for me it was there is no life after death. Keep believing it will go on forever but know that it really wont, this at least pushed me out of that "zone".


Who cares? Do you really think thinking like that makes you smarter and better than those who don't? LOL.

Personally, I find your 'belief' of 'experience-sex-before-you-die-or-else-you'll-regret-it' is completely shallow. It shows that you know nothing about the purpose of life, has no deeper sense of being a human, and have no other better things to do in life beside sex. 

You are a pathetic slave of your own animal desire, not knowing that some people have greater purpose in life that has nothing to do with sex, not knowing that some people striving to find the meaning of being human and how to contribute as a part of the universe.

I truly feel sorry for you. You will never be able to see life beyond your own penis range.


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