# Describe your best fuck ever



## Annie Anthonio (Sep 27, 2014)

Cagnazzo said:


> I think it might have disappeared when you deleted your extra Facebook. lol
> 
> And I don't think I ever got to see your ass. Maybe that'll change sometime?
> 
> ...


Since you have proven my true existence I will send you a picture of my ass. Check your inbox


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

It was superficially mundane and usual. But the reason why I consider it the best was that the lady was pregnant and I got away with it without having to pay child support.


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## Annie Anthonio (Sep 27, 2014)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> It was superficially mundane and usual. But the reason why I consider it the best was that the lady was pregnant and I got away with it without having to pay child support.


Then you were just being a piece of shit


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## piano (May 21, 2015)

Win Win said:


> Judging by your feminine aggressive style, I am hoping that you are a female


_well_...


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Win Win said:


> Thank you so much for your sharing, like a man. Unlike the other jerking off to each other's funny things. I will send you a picture of myself grabbing my ass with my panty half way down to you because I know for sure you are a straight man to like to fuck women and I am a woman who like to be fucked by real men


Settle down this is a family show.


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## Kito (Jan 6, 2012)

Win Win said:


> Since you have proven my true existence I will send you a picture of my ass. Check your inbox


Has anyone ever told you that you sound like a Skype bot?


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

Win Win said:


> Since you have proven my true existence I will send you a picture of my ass. Check your inbox


lol Which inbox?

Also, your ways seem to be pulling aggro.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Win Win said:


> Then you were just being a piece of shit


Maybe I just took custody of the child and I got paid the child support.
What's wrong with that? I know what's happening here, you think I'm inferior to single mothers. That's a darn shame.


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## piano (May 21, 2015)

Kito said:


> Has anyone ever told you that you sound like a Skype bot?


i think a skype bot did tell her that once actually but then she woke up and realised the skyle bot was in fact herself and in a fit of anger she had a mini existential crisis of the solipsistic variety before moving to guatemala to make guacamole for a living. there was a documentary special on it on animal channel not too many moons ago. i'd recommend watching it if it didn't suck ass


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## Annie Anthonio (Sep 27, 2014)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> Maybe I just took custody of the child and I got paid the child support.
> What's wrong with that? I know what's happening here, you think I'm inferior to single mothers. That's a darn shame.


Lighten up. I'm just messing with you. Who am I to judge. I don't know judge


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

i cant play the piano said:


> i think a skype bot did tell her that once actually but then she woke up and realised the skyle bot was in fact herself and in a fit of anger she had a mini existential crisis of the solipsistic variety before moving to guatemala to make guacamole for a living. there was a documentary special on it on animal channel not too many moons ago. i'd recommend watching it if it didn't suck ass


I think you are being told to say this by a computer.


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## piano (May 21, 2015)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> I think you are being told to say this by a computer.


close. skype bot


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Win Win said:


> Lighten up. I'm just messing with you. Who am I to judge. I don't know judge


Tell me about your most recent encounters with males of the insecure variety.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

i cant play the piano said:


> close. skype bot


No I'm not paying for the video.


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

Win Win said:


> Lighten up. I'm just messing with you. Who am I to judge. I don't know judge


It's a trap!

GM Yoda is always facetious. So you both are joking and being lighthearted and the force is balanced.


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## piano (May 21, 2015)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> No I'm not paying for the video.


sorry ma'am but we already took the money out of your bank account


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## Kito (Jan 6, 2012)

i cant play the piano said:


> i think a skype bot did tell her that once actually but then she woke up and realised the skyle bot was in fact herself and in a fit of anger she had a mini existential crisis of the solipsistic variety before moving to guatemala to make guacamole for a living. there was a documentary special on it on animal channel not too many moons ago. i'd recommend watching it but it sucked


Wait, so this is her?


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

i cant play the piano said:


> sorry ma'am but we already took the money out of your bank account


Why are you doing this sir?
You know I've been getting phone calls all day saying that I'm calling someone, but I'm not calling anyone!


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## piano (May 21, 2015)

Kito said:


> Wait, so this is her?


ooh you found a snippet from the documentary. no that's actually her mother but they are very similar, so good find.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Cagnazzo said:


> It's a trap!
> 
> GM Yoda is always facetious. So you both are joking and being lighthearted and the force is balanced.


What was your experience like?


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

Sadly (I guess?) my best experiences having sex is when I'm in love with someone. 

Like, if I break up with someone and am not in love with them anymore, the times I had with them are kind of reduced to just an experience, and then the next person I'm in love with, our sex becomes the best and not comparable. So, I mean, I could describe a previous experience, but in my head, it feels kind of gross and uncomfortable now. xD


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## howlingjack (Nov 11, 2015)

Win Win said:


> Oh no. Now it really hurts my feelings when YOU take a side.


I didn't know who it was directed at. I just like dark humour. I'm a sailor. Sailor's like to be mean. It's character building. :smile:


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## Annie Anthonio (Sep 27, 2014)

Antipode said:


> Sadly (I guess?) my best experiences having sex is when I'm in love with someone.
> 
> Like, if I break up with someone and am not in love with them anymore, the times I had with them are kind of reduced to just an experience, and then the next person I'm in love with, our sex becomes the best and not comparable. So, I mean, I could describe a previous experience, but in my head, it feels kind of gross and uncomfortable now. xD


Me too. I am not being serious. I'm an INFP


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## piano (May 21, 2015)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> You seem to be giving yourself too much credit. Even if we put aside the fabrication about you being young, well I would never prey on someone in your pitiful league. Lousy failed pianists.


wow... just wow.


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## Annie Anthonio (Sep 27, 2014)

howlingjack said:


> I didn't know who it was directed at. I just like dark humour. I'm a sailor. Sailor's like to be mean. It's character building. :smile:


Oh yea? Have you loving this show I stirred up yet?


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## Annie Anthonio (Sep 27, 2014)

Win Win said:


> Me too. I am not being serious. I'm an INFP


Fuck I mean I AM being serious.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

i cant play the piano said:


> wow... just wow.


I just wanted to be friends, but then you started saying some things.


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## howlingjack (Nov 11, 2015)

Win Win said:


> Oh yea? Have you loving this show I stirred up yet?


It's actually stirred up quite the debate here at sailor school.

I really did not need to hear about every drunk person at this table's best 'fuck'. :shocked:


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

Win Win said:


> Me too. I am not being serious. I'm an INFP


Oh, sorry. Haha I should had read all the other replies before replying myself.


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

There are a lot of irreverent people in this thread.


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## Annie Anthonio (Sep 27, 2014)

Cagnazzo said:


> There are a lot of irreverent people in this thread.


Yea right? What happened to all the sex stories?


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## Annie Anthonio (Sep 27, 2014)

howlingjack said:


> It's actually stirred up quite the debate here at sailor school.
> 
> I really did not need to hear about every drunk person at this table's best 'fuck'. :shocked:


Yea, mine is boring. That's why I am here to find inspiration.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Cagnazzo said:


> There are a lot of irreverent people in this thread.


Why do you believe that? 
You shouldn't make such snap judgments.


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

Win Win said:


> Yea right? What happened to all the sex stories?


You are too overt and it makes people act strongly. 

Like, I would think twice about taking you into a store.

You would have to stay outside on a _leash_ until I got back out.


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> Why do you believe that?
> You shouldn't make such snap judgments.


There is empirical evidence.

Not that you'd know anything about that, you inductive fuck.

(Did I use the INTP language right?)


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## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

Win Win said:


> Really


Of course.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Cagnazzo said:


> There is empirical evidence.
> 
> Not that you'd know anything about that, you inductive fuck.


Don't even.
You Kant even. Stupid Kant.
You have to alternate between the pronunciations.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Sporadic Aura said:


> Of course.


You have only given birth to a neckbeard and it was very malnourished.


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## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> You have only given birth to a neckbeard and it was very malnourished.


It was literally just a beard not a human. I also gave birth to a fedora.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Sporadic Aura said:


> It was literally just a beard not a human. I also gave birth to a fedora.


You are a fedora. So says Wolfie. She is having severe mental complications. For example, she said they you are unfair and unbalanced.


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## Annie Anthonio (Sep 27, 2014)

Sygma said:


> But you share hot pictures ? interesting. Not that I mind, I like watching great asses but I guess it sound wrong in that context. Sense of shame ? definitely
> 
> Taboo ? definitely ²
> 
> ...


Judgy judgy. Have you been married?


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## Annie Anthonio (Sep 27, 2014)

sweetraglansweater said:


> If I share my story will you send me a pic too?


Depend on how sincere and authentic you are. I hate pretentious people


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

Win Win said:


> Depend on how sincere and authentic you are. I hate pretentious people


Don't trust her. She's a wily one.


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## Annie Anthonio (Sep 27, 2014)

Cagnazzo said:


> Don't trust her. She's a wily one.


You are still my one and only here. No one has seen my pictures beside you


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## joshman108 (Apr 14, 2014)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> As a young female such as yourself you ought to know my activities. They are found in nearly any police database thank you very much.


Funniest shit right here. Good form. 




Cagnazzo said:


> There is empirical evidence.
> 
> Not that you'd know anything about that, you inductive fuck.
> 
> (Did I use the INTP language right?)


Why are you highlighting certain words? In the spirit of openness, I will say that it's pissing me off.


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## Sygma (Dec 19, 2014)

Win Win said:


> Judgy judgy. Have you been married?


Why judgy ? just writting down thoughts, I still have a pretty naive, pure kind of thing going in my mind ya know. My experience regarding relationships is also quite small.

It just seem alien to me is all. I mean, I really don't mind what you re doing, since it's a way to spice things up I guess ? 

But my story was sincere. Really had the best, most intense sex I ever had and it all began by a kiss and then a pretty hardcore bj. Was half choking / half spanking her on the couch, but gently. It was good ... a bit rough and loving.


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## Annie Anthonio (Sep 27, 2014)

Sygma said:


> Why judgy ? just writting down thoughts, I still have a pretty naive, pure kind of thing going in my mind ya know. My experience regarding relationships is also quite small.
> 
> It just seem alien to me is all. I mean, I really don't mind what you re doing, since it's a way to spice things up I guess ?
> 
> But my story was sincere. Really had the best, most intense sex I ever had and it all began by a kiss and then a pretty hardcore bj. Was half choking / half spanking her on the couch, but gently. It was good ... a bit rough and loving.


I loved being choked by the cock of the man I deeply in love with.


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

joshman108 said:


> Why are you highlighting certain words? In the spirit of openness, I will say that it's pissing me off.


I almost got you confused with the alpha guy and wrote you off, haha.

Its an aesthetic thing. If everything is black, nothing pops out and comprehension is a slog.


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## piano (May 21, 2015)

the activity on this thread is all thanks to me


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

i cant play the piano said:


> the activity on this thread is all thanks to me


You aren't even a real person


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## Annie Anthonio (Sep 27, 2014)

i cant play the piano said:


> the activity on this thread is all thanks to me


Who is that woman in your avatar? So are you a lady or not?


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## joshman108 (Apr 14, 2014)

Cagnazzo said:


> I almost got you confused with the alpha guy and wrote you off, haha.
> 
> Its an aesthetic thing. If everything is black, nothing pops out and comprehension is a slog.


I presume you are a visual learner then. It's nothing but distracting and irrelevant to me.


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## Sygma (Dec 19, 2014)

Cagnazzo said:


> You're silly. lol


i'm serious. I m puzzled with possibilities that are against what is morally "acceptable" ? because, what is morally acceptable to begin with


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## Annie Anthonio (Sep 27, 2014)

Sygma said:


> i'm serious. I m puzzled with possibilities that are against what is morally "acceptable" ? because, what is morally acceptable to begin with


Don't try to find the absolute. It's what dumb people do.


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## Sygma (Dec 19, 2014)

Win Win said:


> I loved being choked by the cock of the man I deeply in love with.


You re intriguing. So it's not a problem for you to share bits of your body ?

I love that sensation you know. The eyes, when she knows she's owned by it, in her mouth, and she enjoy it. She deserve some more after


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## Sygma (Dec 19, 2014)

Win Win said:


> Don't try to find the absolute. It's what dull people do.


Oh don't get me wrong. Only my ideas are naive. Acts are the complete opposite. I m a switch / dom and I very much enjoy it ... it's just that, I tend to be contained, but I always do in the end


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

Sygma said:


> i'm serious. I m puzzled with possibilities that are against what is morally "acceptable" ? because, what is morally acceptable to begin with


Your attempt to make sense of it will only make it more confusing.


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## Sygma (Dec 19, 2014)

Cagnazzo said:


> Your attempt to make sense of it will only make it more confusing.


Seem like it. So where is my pic then, heh. But as you probably noticed, connection with this one begin mentally. I truly don't give two fucks about a gorgeous body if there isn't a great mind behind


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## Sygma (Dec 19, 2014)

Win Win said:


> I loved being choked by the cock of the man I deeply in love with.


I love the smell of fresh cum in the morning.


Fucking hell, I should win a pulitzer with that


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## sweetraglansweater (Jul 31, 2015)

howlingjack said:


> I didn't know who it was directed at. I just like dark humour. I'm a sailor. Sailor's like to be mean. It's character building. :smile:


All the sailors I ever worked with had so many uniforms they could have started their own fashion show...


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## howlingjack (Nov 11, 2015)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> The jerk is 5.5 m/s/s/s


What does that mean exactly?
I'm the 'jerk'?


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

howlingjack said:


> What does that mean exactly?
> I'm the 'jerk'?


Change in acceleration is called jerk.


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## sweetraglansweater (Jul 31, 2015)

i cant play the piano said:


> i love you too sweetie but that is no excuse


Imagining sex with a green muppet is the highlight of my day. Don't steal that from me just cause you can't play a preccussive instrument!


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## Dasein (Jun 11, 2015)

sweetraglansweater said:


> Imagining sex with a green muppet is the highlight of my day. Don't steal that from me just cause you can't play a preccussive instrument!


How about a visit from someone dressed up in a Kermit the Frog costume?


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## piano (May 21, 2015)

sweetraglansweater said:


> Imagining sex with a green muppet is the highlight of my day. Don't steal that from me just cause you can't play a preccussive instrument!


wow... just wow.


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## piano (May 21, 2015)

all anyone on this forum ever does is poke fun at me for not being able to play an instrument!

SO SCREW YOU GUYS I'M GOING HOME


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## Annie Anthonio (Sep 27, 2014)

howlingjack said:


> What does that mean exactly?
> I'm the 'jerk'?


These are kids. Like born at 1998. And they are just having fun playing poking each other penis. Don't mind them. Nothing is personal kids are dicks. I have just been fucking around so don't take me seriously neither. I was just bored.


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## Nightmaker81 (Aug 17, 2013)

Win Win said:


> These are kids. Like born at 1998. And they are just having fun playing poking each other penis. Don't mind them. Nothing is personal kids are dicks. I have just been fucking around so don't take me seriously neither. I was just bored.


I'm an alpha male


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## howlingjack (Nov 11, 2015)

Win Win said:


> These are kids. Like born at 1998. And they are just having fun playing poking each other penis. Don't mind them. Nothing is personal kids are dicks. I have just been fucking around so don't take me seriously neither. I was just bored.


I didn't take anything serious; it's all good! :smile:


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## B3LIAL (Dec 21, 2013)

Only had sex with one girl in my life. Happened several times in a few days span. And that was like 2 years ago now... *cries inside a little*.

So not much experience, but one of the experiences was out of the norm, in a bad way and good way, I suppose.

It was the first time doing doggie style. It felt incredible, and as I gained speed I kind of let my self go a bit too much and spanked her. 

I thought she was crying at first and that I'd totally fucked it up, but then she said do it again...

And again... and again, harder....

I didn't know how to feel, but eventually I just started to spank her without care, and it felt amazing.

It took me a few days to come to terms with the fact that I'm somewhat of a sadist. I look back on it and laugh on my innocent self.

But yeah. That was a great fuck, in a way. I now know that I like to give my partner the treatment that they deserve!


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## Annie Anthonio (Sep 27, 2014)

B3LIAL said:


> Only had sex with one girl in my life. Happened several times in a few days span. And that was like 2 years ago now... *cries inside a little*.
> 
> So not much experience, but one of the experiences was out of the norm, in a bad way and good way, I suppose.
> 
> ...


Thank you for your sharing. I don't think you are a sadist.


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## Persephone (Nov 14, 2009)

Last night. 

I used to say my best fuck ever was with a one night stand. I didn't like him, but there was the danger and the excitement and man does he know how to turn on a girl. 

But lately I've been seeing this guy; the chemistry was insane from the first time we ever fucked. I'm still not sure how I feel about him but he's a great guy and one of my best friends in my new city, so there are some feelings there. Yesterday I was stressed about my academic and personal situation and not even sure if the man holding me from behind is doing this to get laid or if he really feels something for me. It's not that I want to be exclusive with him, but the uncertainty I've been facing in all aspects of my life was getting to me and I started crying a little. Then he started kissing the back of my neck in the most loving way possible. We came close to doing it several times but decided to finish the movie we're watching instead. 

That's when the emotional floodgates opened and all I could think of was regardless of whether or not we're going to be together as an official couple, having him in this confusing stage of my life is a real blessing. He was a crucial support for me at many points in the past two months and I owe much of my emotional stability during this time to him. That's when I moaned just looking at him. I think he caught onto the fact that the mood in the room had shifted and that night I think he was more emotionally open as well. We fucked, in other words, like rabbits. Having passionate sex with someone you know and sort of love is way better than any one night stand. The two of us were on fire, more turned on than we've ever been with each other (and we've always had a hard time keeping our hands off each other)

In other words, best sex ever.


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## piano (May 21, 2015)

well

backstory: my ex-boyfriend's roommates accidentally set their kitchen on fire when they were making rice and they needed a place to stay so they stayed over at one of the guy's ex-girlfriend's apartment. it was the most convenient/practical choice because she lived in the same building as them.

so for the next two weeks whenever we hung out it had to be at her place and it was really awkward for me because she and my ex's roommate would always get into arguments and... ANYWAY when i spent the night he and i had to sleep in the living room because it was the only room available... it was late and everyone was in their respective rooms getting it on when he looked at me and asked if i wanted to do the sex. i laughed, like... what if someone walks into the living room and sees us? he looks at me like i'm retarded... and he says... "they're all having sex, piano. they're not gonna wanna leave their rooms." i giggle again and say "ah, you make a good point! you're so smart, baby!" (stroking his ego) (foreshadowing me stroking his dick later)

we toy around with the idea for like 10-15 minutes before i give in because my hormones are going wild. we kiss a little and the kissing progresses to making out and then he puts his hand down my shorts and i'm like "ooh". we're confined to an L shaped couch though and we can't decide on which position we should do it in. keep in mind it's late so we're trying to keep quiet. hm. we start undressing each other and i grab his dick and jerk it off a bit, all while thinking about what position i want him to fuck me in. we try doggy and as per usual it feels great but it's just... too risky, and the couch just wouldn't stop squeaking, so we stop and sit on the couch naked (well, i still have my t-shirt on) thinking... when a lightbulb materialises above my head! i've got an idea! it's a position i've been meaning to try for a while but since we never have sex on couches i've never had the opportunity to suggest it before. i tell him to sit down on the couch as he usually would. he does. i put his dick in my mouth to get him hard...er. i hop on top of his lap facing him, my legs spread out on each side on his. imagery has never been my thing... so here's an illustration from google, to give you guys an idea of what it looked like:


* *















his legs weren't crossed, obviously. like i said, he was in a normal sitting position. he wasn't leaning back like that either. also, my boobs are smaller than hers. his back was resting against the couch cushion. i tried to illustrate it on paint, but...


* *















my hands were on the back of the couch most of the time (holding it to help maintain my balance or something), though sometimes i'd hold his cute little face with my hands when i kissed him. his hands were usually on my ass, maneuvering me around and shit. i hope this gives you guys an idea of what it looked like. it was essentially cowgirl, only difference being that it was in sitting position on a couch instead of him laid down on a bed.

so first we went up and down, like he would grab me and lift me then drop me and repeat. it's a few minutes before we're able to synchronise our movements but when we do i get the hang of it/we find a pace that works, it's good. this position doesn't do much for me, though, so i stop, sit on his dick for a bit thinking of a better idea, when, ah! a better idea hits me. we've done this before and we both love it but it tires his dick out if we go at it for too long  but i decide to do it anyway because fuck it. this is a common thing, it's not, like, weird.

so instead of going up and down, i move forward and back. i like it because my clit brushes against his lower abdomen when i move and it feels phenomenal. the faster we go, the better it feels... for the both of us. he surprises me by slapping my ass







and i freak out a bit because what the fuck man there's people in the room next to us. whenever he moans/says my name too loud i forcefully kiss him to make him shut the fuck up.

we go at it for what feels like forever. my t-shirt's still on but sometimes he'll sneak his hand up there to, you know... and it feels so fucking good, like i'm going crazy. there were several moments where i felt like i was going to explode. my body was numb, but in a good way. paralysis was slowly taking over my body. penetration AND clit action. it's every girl's dream. the only thing that sucked - besides me, that is - is that it felt just as good for him so we'd have to take breaks every once in a while so he wouldn't lose control and bust inside me. when i hopped back on, though... ooh wee. i nearly lost MY shit. it was such a tease, though, because just as i was about to reach orgasm, he'd have to stop. i had to fucking beg him to last longer... just a little longer. don't stop just yet, babe, 'cause i've gotta get mine. he was using such dirty language and for once i actually reciprocated. usually i hate talking like that but it felt so nice that i couldn't resist. at this point i would've done anything to cum. anything he asked, i would have done.

we were going so fast that i was gasping for air. i wasn't tired, it just felt so fucking nice and i was so turned on that i couldn't keep my mouth shut. i was so close to screaming. my finger nails were digging into his back/stomach/arms. he has nice long-ish hair (that he wears well) so there's a lot to grab onto for when i need a release/to calm myself down, which i definitely needed, because had it not been for that beautiful hair of his i would've woken everyone up.

we went for an hour/hour and a half, i think, with a couple 1-2 minute breaks. his hands were everywhere, as were mine. it's hard to stay quiet when you're having the best sex of your life, and with your favourite person, too. tingles all over my body. my mind was a... it was a mess, i couldn't think straight during, or even afterwards. i never ended up having an orgasm, unfortunately, but i got really, really, really, really close, and it felt consistently amazing from beginning to end so i still like to think of it as my first orgasm, even if it technically wasn't.

it was so hot. i still think about it sometimes. we had some good chats after it, too. it was really nice. perfect, really, but then i ruined the moment when i got mad. i don't remember why. maybe i did it to start shit? i was so hyped up on positive emotions, i probably wanted to throw some negative in there to restore balance. i threw around a few "I FUCKING HATE YOU"s and "i don't wanna date you anymore" or "go back to +insert girl's name here+!" we argued until 5/6 am. he got so frustrated that at one point he punched the wall. it turned me on so i stopped being mad, but that only lasted a few seconds before i started being a cunt again. i was being totally unreasonable and i was totally aware of it, too, so i'm really not sure why i continued. he said "okay sweetheart" and "okay princess" a lot, and "because you're always right and everyone else is always wrong, yeah?"

we stopped arguing at 7 am because i got horny again. i tugged at his shorts, insinuating i wanted to have ze sex again, but he was worn out, both emotionally and physically, so we didn't. i kissed him but i don't remember if he liked it or not. i got dressed, kissed his cheek, and left for work. we continued on as normal the next day.

so... there you have it, my best/favourite sexual experience.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Win Win said:


> These are kids. Like born at 1998. And they are just having fun playing poking each other penis. Don't mind them. Nothing is personal kids are dicks. I have just been fucking around so don't take me seriously neither. I was just bored.


An ageist. What else is new?


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## piano (May 21, 2015)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> An ageist. What else is new?


babies, the stork... it's a lie... all of it


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

i cant play the piano said:


> babies, the stork... it's a lie... all of it


Next thing you're gonna say is I came out of your uterus. 
This is all news to me.


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## piano (May 21, 2015)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> Next thing you're gonna say is I came out of your uterus.
> This is all news to me.


you did come out of my uterus though. you came out kicking like a pissed off horse, all the while screaming at the top of your fucking lungs like a gahd damn lunatic and no matter what we fucking did, you... wouldn't... fucking... stop. we tried to tranquilise you but you were kicking and screaming so violently that there was no way in hell we'd get anywhere near close enough to you to execute it properly. it was infuriating. you were infuriating. if the doctor hadn't stabbed me with the tranquiliser we set out for you i honestly would have just pushed you back up my vagina.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

i cant play the piano said:


> you did come out of my uterus though. you came out kicking like a pissed off horse, all the while screaming at the top of your fucking lungs like a gahd damn lunatic and no matter what we fucking did, you... wouldn't... fucking... stop. we tried to tranquilise you but you were kicking and screaming so violently that there was no way in hell we'd get anywhere near close enough to you to execute it properly. it was infuriating. you were infuriating. if the doctor hadn't stabbed me with the tranquiliser we set out for you i honestly would have just pushed you back up my vagina.


Well, well, well. It seems like we've reached an impasse.
What will you do?
Learn pianist. Learn!


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## piano (May 21, 2015)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> Well, well, well. It seems like we've reached an impasse.
> What will you do?
> Learn pianist. Learn!


impasse, eh? well i was never really sure who your father was (sorry) but in my time spent whoring around europe i _did_ sleep with a french man. his name was pier. or maybe it was pierre? yes, it was pierre, and we met at a pier. he was drinking perrier. he was beautiful in all the ways i never was... and that, that was why i loved him. in some ways you even remind me of him. he used impasse in a sentence once. just like you. the similarities are astounding. spooky, even.

pierrier... is that you? how come you never called me back?


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

i cant play the piano said:


> impasse, eh? well i was never really sure who your father was (sorry) but in my time spent whoring around europe i _did_ sleep with a french man. his name was pier. or maybe it was pierre? yes, it was pierre, and we met at a pier. he was drinking perrier. he was beautiful in all the ways i never was... and that, that was why i loved him. in some ways you even remind me of him. he used impasse in a sentence once. just like you. the similarities are astounding. spooky, even.
> 
> pierrier... is that you? how come you never called me back?


You disgust me. European men do not fascinate, only those of true American blood.
Ay! Why don't you move to France?


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## piano (May 21, 2015)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> You disgust me. European men do not fascinate, only those of true American blood.
> Ay! Why don't you move to France?


i actually almost moved there when i was 19 but unfortunately i had zero monies to my name. that, and getting a visa is damn near impossiblé


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## 66393 (Oct 17, 2013)

i cant play the piano said:


> his legs weren't crossed, obviously. like i said, he was in a normal sitting position. he wasn't leaning back like that either. also, my boobs are smaller than hers. his back was resting against the couch cushion. i tried to illustrate it on paint, but...


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH 

This picture made my day.


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## LandOfTheSnakes (Sep 7, 2013)

Ok so this was the greatest thing ever... So I was at my ex's school and we went to some stupid concert thing they had. We were both a little drunk and were basically all up in each other's shit very shortly after the concert started. Maybe about 20 minutes in, we decide to leave. So we were going to just go back to her place but nah, we wanted to fuck somewhere cool. So we were going to go into some office she thought she could get into in some other building. Well, we try and get in there and aren't even able to get outside.

So we walk like 20 feet around the building and find somewhere that's a bit hideden from any area with much foot traffic. Then I just throw her on the ground, pull her shirt up and take her bra off as she's undoing my pants and pulling them down. We're basically biting each other everywhere and I pull down her yoga pants (I always hated how often she worse those :laughing and begin to play with her clit and finger her. She started clawing into my back and pulled me close to her as she was on her back and I was on top. I began to go inside her and I don't know what it was, probably the thrill of having sex in a public place, but it was so fucking exhilirating. I'm basically thrusting, playing with her tits, kissing her, biting her neck as she's doing the same (besides playing with my tits lol). We got so into it and it felt so goddamn good and I slowed down for a second and just kind of whispered to her that I was going to cum inside her and her eyes just lit up in a way that I knew she was okay with it. It was the first time I'd ever came inside a girl without a condom and as if I wasn't already so caught up in the moment, that about sealed it. We just kind of laid there, dick still inside her, and made out for a few minutes before giddilly heading to her car and proceeding to fuck a couple more times in the back seat just for the thrill of it before heading back to her apartment. Definitely the best fuck ever.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

i cant play the piano said:


> i actually almost moved there when i was 19 but unfortunately i had zero monies to my name. that, and getting a visa is damn near impossiblé


Especially when you're a racial minority


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

I'm here for free pron. My inbox is empty.

Feel free to contribute.

No penises.

Thanks!


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## B3LIAL (Dec 21, 2013)

imaPanda said:


> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
> 
> This picture made my day.


That looks like you're raping him in his sleep XD.


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

Erbse said:


> I'm here for free pron. My inbox is empty.
> 
> Feel free to contribute.
> 
> ...


Goddamnit, it does not work that way.

It actually kind of has been pissing me off that people have been popping by, not knowing her, expecting they get something from her.

If your post isn't in reference to OP, sorry. But it's been pissing me off that people think its just that easy to the point that such lazy behavior will be rewarded.


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

Cagnazzo said:


> Goddamnit, it does not work that way.
> 
> It actually kind of has been pissing me off that people have been popping by, not knowing her, expecting they get something from her.
> 
> If your post isn't in reference to OP, sorry. But it's been pissing me off that people think its just that easy to the point that such lazy behavior will be rewarded.


I don't expect anything.

An opportunist taking chances where he sees them 

P.S: Bewbs or butt, all is welcome.


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## piano (May 21, 2015)

Cagnazzo said:


> Goddamnit, it does not work that way.
> 
> It actually kind of has been pissing me off that people have been popping by, not knowing her, expecting they get something from her.
> 
> If your post isn't in reference to OP, sorry. But it's been pissing me off that people think its just that easy to the point that such lazy behavior will be rewarded.



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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

i cant play the piano said:


> * *
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Ha, fuck you. I just quoted it so I could skip past the tags. So fuck off <333


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## fr1cti0n (Dec 5, 2014)

My best fuck ever...hmm.

I guess the time when I shouted it really loud because of my sexual frustration.

But I have a lot of good "FUCK"'s.

That time I burned myself, or slipped and fell in the winter, or when I realized the life that I was taught in school was a lie.

But the sexual frustration one was pretty glorious. So close enough.


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## sweetraglansweater (Jul 31, 2015)

t0_0l said:


> My best fuck ever...hmm.
> 
> I guess the time when I shouted it really loud because of my sexual frustration.
> 
> ...



I'm just going to spam you with this timeless message until you do something:


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## Laguna (Mar 21, 2012)

I've not a laundry list of sexual partners, but I had memorable sexcapades with each. Emotional connection + arousal = mind blown. I wish these moments could be bottled.


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## bender477 (Aug 23, 2010)

had some interesting fun times with various characters over the years. nothing I'd call a "great fuck" tho. apologies to all you online voyeurs for the lack of graphic detail and general prurience.


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## AdroElectro (Oct 28, 2014)

I was at a national park with a FWB, and we decided to go off the beaten path to find a secluded area where we could fuck. We found this tiny little beach/alcove hidden away from view. There were boaters off in the distance, and I was a little nervous that they could see us, but that also made it a little more exciting too. She laid down on a fallen tree trunk and we went at it for a solid 30 minutes. She had tree bark bruises all over her back for a week after that, and it turned me on so much every time I saw them. It was like "yeah, I did that "


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## Wellsy (Oct 24, 2011)

It was fucking great


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## Fish Launcher (Jan 14, 2013)

It was quite simple. He had long, curly hair, so I just grabbed it and fucked his face.


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## MisterPerfect (Nov 20, 2015)

Im a Virgin.. Haha XD


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## Wellsy (Oct 24, 2011)

Fish Launcher said:


> It was quite simple. He had long, curly hair, so I just grabbed it and fucked his face.


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## Fish Launcher (Jan 14, 2013)

UchihaSqueaker said:


> It's sad because the only time I've ever fucked was when I was high  I need something real @_CapnSlapaHo_ wbu?


The first time I got high, I decided to fuck the dealer. It was actually pretty fun.

So yea, I lost my virginity when I was high too.


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