# INFP Males - ENFJ females



## ThirdArcade (Aug 1, 2010)

I read that my best match are INFPs or ISFPs. INFPs (female/male) What are your experiences with ENFJs (male and/or female)? I have trouble distinguishing between introverted thinking males versus introverted feeling males. Any quick way spot the difference? So what is up with the INFP guys and ENFJ gals? What makes them compatible? :blushed:


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## thor odinson (May 21, 2011)

WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? MAN!?!?!?!?!?!?

Why hasn't anyone posted back to this, this is truly one for conisderation.

Rant over

Hi, by the way I am an INFP male and despite the fact that people say stuff like don't date based on type I would love to go out with an ENFJ girl

I think type is not something you should completely ignore nor completely depend on, but definitely use it to help you examine a possible dynamic

Difference between Ti Dom males and Fi Dom Males, Ti are reserved and unemotional and this is pretty much what they're like on the inside

Fi males are reserved and unemotional on the outside but that is only skin deep, completely different on the inside

It's not that we're fake or putting on an act, it's just a defense mechanism probably due to dom Fi making us sensitive or whatever


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## ThirdArcade (Aug 1, 2010)

Fi males are reserved and unemotional on the outside but that is only skin deep said:


> Thanks for the reply Thor Odison. I always want to break these Fi males out their shells. I feel like it could be a beautiful. Why are you attracted to the idea of dating an ENFJ girl? If possible, I would be delighted to hear your response on my most recent post under the thread "INFP males: signs he likes you (more than) a friend". I am trying to figure this INFP guy out...


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## Razvan (Dec 17, 2009)

thor odinson said:


> WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? MAN!?!?!?!?!?!?
> 
> Why hasn't anyone posted back to this, this is truly one for conisderation.
> ................................................


Lol, you dug out a thread from one year ago :crazy:...and further more, the ENFJ is still here and answers. :laughing: That's so rare... :happy:



ThirdArcade said:


> I read that my best match are INFPs or ISFPs. INFPs (female/male) What are your experiences with ENFJs (male and/or female)? I have trouble distinguishing between introverted thinking males versus introverted feeling males. Any quick way spot the difference? So what is up with the INFP guys and ENFJ gals? What makes them compatible? :blushed:


My experience with ENFJs...there is definitely some chemistry there, communication can be great is both have common interests and values. Introverted thinkers are a bit more blunt, more direct, while introverted feelers try as much as possible to express the same emotion in a warmer, softer shell. I would say that's a way you can differentiate a Thinker from a Feeler. 

What makes us compatible...I think with any NF there are these warm emotions going from one to another. We all communicate in a warm, fuzzy feeling like style and give positive affirmations to each other when we feel those are due to give. What makes them really compatible though is more than just the personality type, it's also sharing a common ground, like same values, same view of life, same hobbies, same humour...I think humour is a very important part too...I met ENFJs that I didn't feel we were on the same page with things I thought were important to my lifestyle. (like not smoking, or sports, or going into nature) Usually I try to follow my heart, I generally feel strongly about those I am attracted to, but if I can't, like I'm undecided, I fall on my Thinker skills I guess, I have a 3 things rule. If I can find 3 things I really like, I go for it, if I can find 3 things I don't like, I stop....and if I find both I stay a bit more withdrawn and add the pluses and the minuses and search fore more things, try to get that person better.


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## thor odinson (May 21, 2011)

ThirdArcade said:


> Thanks for the reply Thor Odison. I always want to break these Fi males out their shells. I feel like it could be a beautiful. Why are you attracted to the idea of dating an ENFJ girl? If possible, I would be delighted to hear your response on my most recent post under the thread "INFP males: signs he likes you (more than) a friend". I am trying to figure this INFP guy out...


Why I like ENFJ girls

- NF in common leads to great understanding. Very considerate of each others feelings not just in awareness (F) but also and perhaps even more importantly, where they're coming from (N). Lot of problems and breakups that needn't be because people can't understand each other which is even more sad when there's a family with kids. Irreconcilable differences is one thing, lack of communication possibly due to inability to communicate is just sad.

- (E) will get me out of my shell and getting out is good for things like you know, YOUR SANITY lol xD

- (I)'s make great confidante's, we're excellent with one on one conversations we value more a few close friends than many acquaintances, we prefer depth of relationship over frequency of encounters with many people, quality over quantity, so our time, care and effort is divided amongst fewer people so your more likely to get most of our concentration and attention especially if something bothers you. And this division of attention comes not from a lack of opportunity to talk to many people so we just give all our attention to the ones we have because we've got no one else, but because we prioritise a special few above many others

- (J) I desparately need structure in my life whether or not I like it lol

- (P) Can help you chill out and realise if something doesn't go according to plan then it may not be such a big deal. This also makes us whimsical and some people find that amusing I guess

Signs that an INFP likes you

- Can't speak for others but for me

- Look for non superifical, informal dialogue. We're not fake with other people we're just courteous and like to make an effort as people do so with us. But for people that really peak our interest, we become more playfull, testing the waters before we up the ante. They're might be joking around, to teasing (playfully ofcourse our Fi keeps us in check), and based on receptivity of yourself or whoever it is we're interested in, increasing physical contact i.e. more hugs, more meaningful and heartfelt thugs

- I also try to make eye contact with her during initial stages to see if she reciprocrates and if she does I'll usually smile to break the ice and then all the above takes off from there


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## dreampolice (Sep 7, 2010)

As an INFP, I'll date most NFs; with the right person, it's also possible to maintain a relationship with ISFPs or ENTP. But that's little harder than relating to NFs. 

I'm very independent and I'm a little careful when dating J types, as I have a strong preference to keep things open ended than structured. While I have never dated an ENFJ or know any ENFJs that I interact with on a regular basis, the few ENFJs I have met lead me to believe that I'm far more likely to be receptive towards them (of all J types) as their natural demeanor is very disarming. 

Signs that I might like you (more than a friend):

- if you're an NF, you will pick this up, you will know, naturally. If you're not an NF, this might be tough to spot. 

- we can be pretty open with people, but we can also be pretty reserved about certain topics. If you see an INFP opening upto you on a topic he doesn't discuss with his regular friends, that's a good sign. 

Let me explain. While I try to be nice to everybody, I don't trust very easily. So even with friends, there's likely to be a wall. So the best sign of me liking a girl more than a friend is that I let them in. Intimacy. 

I think it's in our (INFP) nature to desire connecting at every level and not hold anything back. But it's easier said than done.


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## dreampolice (Sep 7, 2010)

thor odinson said:


> But for people that really peak our interest, we become more playfull, testing the waters before we up the ante. They're might be joking around, to teasing (playfully ofcourse our Fi keeps us in check), and based on receptivity of yourself or whoever it is we're interested in, increasing physical contact i.e. more hugs, more meaningful and heartfelt thugs


I agree about the increasing level of playfulness combined with deep, heart-to-hearts. You may not notice this playfulness on the first date (or interaction) and you will never see it until we've had a deeper conversation.


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## Razvan (Dec 17, 2009)

I completely agree with @*thor odinson* and I would add besides what was posted here, I generally avoid eye contact with people, but I can keep eye contact with people I have no feelings for, however if I feel the slightest emotion, I wouldn't be able to. I will look for you with my eyes, than when I find your eyes, I will take a look and then look in a different place. After we become closer, I wouldn't have this problem as strongly, but at the beginning it would be like playing ping-pong with my eyes. 

I also test alot the person I like, but that depends on the situation I can give some example, but can't make a general pattern here because it can be very random.


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## Adasta (Nov 22, 2011)

The faces of ENFJ women are instantly engaging. It doesn't matter if I personally find them attractive, I am always drawn to them.

I've found that they are usually very flirty, are good dressers, and love a bit of INFP brand flirting.


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## Michael82 (Dec 13, 2010)

I think the best thing about male INFP and female ENFJ is that you can have a dynamic relationship. But I also think it should make few difference who is the male and who is the female, as long as it's enfj-infp.

I was in a relationship with an enfj for two years. It was kind of odd since I was way taller than her, but she got the upper hand. Next to that I'm Dutch and she's Chinese. Speaking of differences.. But i don't know, what can I say? it just works. When someone asked why I loved her I said I don't know. I just did.

I got a compliment from someone saying he found us such a dynamic couple. I guess that may say something about me being a little dominant at times, even as an INFP, while she was still ENFJ. I found that dominance the hardest thing in the relationship, and I'm afraid it was actually the reason why we broke up even though it made us a dynamic couple (which was a positive thing). She did say at times I lacked self-confidence and lacked in being a man. But in the end for INFP-ENFJ it should not be about looks, postures etc. as much as about feelings and intuition.

Also I chat with 2 ENFJ's sometimes on msn, and well, we just loooove chatting *giggles*. It is innocent! But what I notice is that I feel very comfortable letting the my chatfriends take the lead. I don't feel bad about them leaving or not being in touch with me for a while, whereas with other personalities I mostly have to rethink about why they say and do certain things.


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## Up and Away (Mar 5, 2011)

I love enfj females. They don't usually require that I make every flipping decision, and they are often quite adventurous and understanding.


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## GraphicallyAlex (Jul 23, 2010)

I would love to at least try to date an ENFJ girl.
The only real problem is that both must be openminded. 
Which is definatley not always the case. 
They must both make an effort to understand one another.
And the ENFJ cannot be gender roled, 
And the INFP cannot be overly negative, or elitist.

Those things said, I believe it could really work well. 

 that is my piece. lol


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