# Talkative Introverts



## teddy564339 (Jun 23, 2010)

All right, so it's always been conventional MBTI wisdom that introversion doesn't mean someone is shy and quiet, and extraversion doesn't mean someone is talkative.


However, I think that a lot of times this is the case. So I wanted to explore what makes the exception occur, and for this thread I want to focus on introverts.



I particularly want to focus on introverts that are talkative in group settings. I say this because for me, I can be very talkative in the right setting, and usually it's one-on-one. However, once I get into a larger group setting, particularly with people I don't know, I tend to become very shy and quiet.



So here's how it works for me. When I'm talking with someone one-on-one, as long as I find the person interesting and we can get a flow going, I can talk with them for hours on end. I can even get kind of excited and enthusiastic, sometimes to the point where I can't wait to speak. That's where I have some fantastic conversations.


Now, there have been times when the same thing has happened with more than one person. However, it's almost always only a few more people...either we're in group of 3, 4 or maybe 5. I think when it gets to 6, however, it's very unlikely that I will naturally be very talkative.

It's also extremely important for me to be comfortable with people. Even in a group of 4, if I'm not comfortable and familiar with the other three people, I'll be very quiet.


For me, the reasoning works like this; I really can only focus on one person at a time when we're talking about a topic. I choose my words carefully, and they're almost always aimed at one person. I do this because I don't want to bore people or say something awkward; the more people there are, the greater a chance at least one of them won't like what I have to say. 

So for me, my Si and Fe both play into why I'm so shy and quiet in groups.


This happened recently, and I noticed that in a group of about 10 people, most of the people in the group were talking a lot and joking around with no apparent apprehension. I wasn't dead silent, but I usually would only chime in every now and then with one quick little line. I wasn't telling long stories or making quick jokes like most people.

(A big part of it also probably had to deal with the fact that I was the only one in the group that hadn't been drinking, but I don't think that was the sole reason.)




So I was curious about whether or not these people being so talkative were introverts or extraverts. If any are introverts, I was curious to hear what made them more talkative when I'm not.




So if you're an introvert who has no problem being talkative in group settings, I'd like to hear kind of what goes through your mind and why you feel you are the way you are.


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## Svensenberg (May 13, 2012)

I can relate to a majority of what you said, especially about having a strength in one-on-one conversation but feeling a little lost in a large, impersonal setting like a party.

I can talk to someone I've just met for a long time, but only if it's required. I don't really seek out conversation while I'm in a group setting, but if someone seems to take a liking to me or I to them I don't have a problem with it. Given the choice, I would avoid these types of situations altogether if I could.

I find it very draining, because it seems that I distinctly try to be someone other than myself. The usual me is quiet and boring, and I try to counteract those tendencies as much as possible in order not to be seen as odd or standoffish. You would be surprised at how many people misinterpret quiet shyness as being aloof.

To answer your question more simply, I do well in group settings because it would be terribly inconvenient not to. I've always viewed talking with people as a skill that you can learn, no different from anything else. I have a mediocre grasp of it and I use it as best as I can.


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## inlovewithoblivion (Jul 14, 2012)

I can definitely relate. I can be pretty chatty when I'm comfortable, but I'm also the person reading in the corner at a party.


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## _selene_ (Jul 2, 2012)

i can relate as well..when i speak to ppl in a group that i've had one on one before.. it's amazing but if i'm in a group where i don't know anyone.. i need a drink.. normally the more the better.. but besides that .. im just quiet and I like to observe


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## PinkDolphin (Jul 7, 2012)

With my family, friends at work, or My sunday school class, I can talk a blue streak-when I feel like it. On the other hand, in huge groups or with strangers, I am, as my Mom says; "Quiet as a little church mouse"


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## teddy564339 (Jun 23, 2010)

Svensenberg said:


> I find it very draining, because it seems that I distinctly try to be someone other than myself. The usual me is quiet and boring, and I try to counteract those tendencies as much as possible in order not to be seen as odd or standoffish. You would be surprised at how many people misinterpret quiet shyness as being aloof.



For me, a lot of times this isn't as much of an issue, I think because I naturally smile a lot when other people are talking or telling stories. 

The thing is...this works so much better in one-on-one conversations too, because I know that the person is telling their joke or story to me specifically. If I don't feel like talking much, I can just show interest in what they're saying and ask questions and listen. 


The problem is when it's a big group of people all talking at once. It's not a big deal if it's a meal at a table or something...because then everyone is just talking to those right beside them anyway. It's moreso when people are just all kind of hanging out and talking all together, and there's no sort of rhyme or reason to it. 




Svensenberg said:


> To answer your question more simply, I do well in group settings because it would be terribly inconvenient not to. I've always viewed talking with people as a skill that you can learn, no different from anything else. I have a mediocre grasp of it and I use it as best as I can.


I guess a lot of it depends on who's in the group as well. I think the problem in the situation I described earlier was that I couldn't really relate to the topics being discussed.


But I also think that I'm kind of over-worrying about the situation. I don't think in this particular situation anyone cared that I wasn't talking...they probably didn't notice me, or maybe even just appreciated that I was there listening and laughing. I think I just get overly self-conscious sometimes and feel like they'll think I'm awkward for not talking. But I think this is something that's much more in my head than is present in actuality.


I've noticed that I have a huge natural tendency to do this....to be so self-aware and self-conscious about things that no one else notices. I don't know if it's my Si or not, but I think I just think people are focusing on me when they're really not...they're just having a good time or focusing on what they're saying. 


So I think my issue is as much about what's going on inside of my own head as it is anything else. I think I probably do fine in group settings, but I feel like I don't because I expect too much of myself.


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## AstralSoldier (Jun 18, 2012)

I fly by moods, sometimes I'll talk just to see what the other person knows in reference to a question; fortunately for me as an INFJ, I have people smarts, and I know HOW to communicate to just about anyone, but there are some people that annoy, or bore me to tears, I just have a good intuitive feel for what people's likes and dislikes are, and can generalize, or elaborate on what I'm given from there. I mean, if the conversation is interesting, than I'm all for it, but if it's not I disengage and AUTOMATICALLY go into my thoughts I just get bored talking about stuff that is concrete, and doesn't require much thought/analysis.

I also learned that however some people aren't intellectuals, and I can either deal with them as needed (like I do) or if I consider them being a friend I had learned to enhance my socializing skills by stepping down my conversation with some people at times; some people just can't handle talking about polynucleotides and their role genetic expression, or psychology...so I keep it broad and general to avoid the dazed looks of confusion I used to get when I talked about this stuff.

In terms of being talkative, meh, I suppose I could be talkative, I'm friendly enough, and can talk to people and be cool with it, if I'm in the mood and am not stewing over something that's got me emotionally fixated, but sometimes I just rather keep to myself because I need quiet/peaceful down time if I'm to keep on socializing because if I don't get it, whoa...duck....the Jerk Comes out in me...like with people who talk at extended length and don't let up, and just like to hear themselves talk...they annoy me...the fact that the fill the air with absolute nonsensical drivel makes me gag at times; I like having my mind expanding, and moving with a purpose, but some people just sit, and piss the day away, well step aside, I'm trying to get a head in this world, and me sittin' and pissin' ain't gonna get it.


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## StellarTwirl (Jul 1, 2012)

Oh god, I just shut down completely in group situations. At best, I'm the one who throws out some random one-liner that makes everyone laugh. Other than that, I pretty much spend the whole time wishing I weren't there.

One-on-one is completely different ... I never shut up. And I have to be careful not to interrupt.


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## electricky (Feb 18, 2011)

Speaking sort of from the other end of this: yes, some of you just go on and on and on, especially on one-to-one. Almost kind of tires me out at times because I just can't focus on one thing for that long, including people and conversations.


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## WickedQueen (Jun 1, 2009)

I had 3 other co-workers who work with me before they resigned: INFJ, ENFJ, and INTP. Interestingly, it were the INFJ and INTP who talked so much during work hours, to the point where I find them annoying and disturbing my concentration. When they went home and there's only me and the ENFJ, we talk very little, and it was her who usually start the conversation first.


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## teddy564339 (Jun 23, 2010)

ElectricSparkle said:


> Speaking sort of from the other end of this: yes, some of you just go on and on and on, especially on one-to-one. Almost kind of tires me out at times because I just can't focus on one thing for that long, including people and conversations.



Some of this might be related to you being a P, but for me, this inspires an interesting question: I've always assumed that extraverts (generally speaking) prefer to be involved in discussions a lot because it energizes them. But is it possible that extraverts are more energized by a greater number of people?

Basically...do extraverts in general enjoy one-on-one conversations? Or would they rather prefer group situations where there's a lot of different social stimuli? Maybe extraverts would generally prefer a lot of different short conversations with a lot of people rather than one long conversation with one person. I had always assumed that for extraverts they were one and the same, but maybe there's more to it than that.


But like I said, I think some of this is related to you being a P, and your Ne needing a lot of different places to bounce ideas off of. But it does get me thinking. Perhaps introverts have an easier time in certain one-on-one lengthy conversations than extraverts do.


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## Aelthwyn (Oct 27, 2010)

I think you're really onto something, teddy, with the observation about wording things for specific people. I think that plays a huge part in my having a hard time talking to both strangers and groups. With people I know well, particularly one on one, I have to spend less energy gaging their reactions and generally gathering information about them, which enables me to feel more free/easy with talking myself. I find it is my default mode to focus on interpreting someone, taking down all the subtle cues about their oppinions, the topics they find interesting, their general atitude toward life, their expectations of me and other people, their way of expressing themselves, the way they naturally phrase things - all of this is important information so that I can effectively connect and communicate with someone, and without it I feel lost and incapable of speaking. I try to focus on topics they are interested in so I don't bore them, I try to phrase things in a way that I think they will follow, I try to steer clear of sensitive points that could create hurt conflict or misunderstanding, I try to express my emotions in a way/level that they will be comfortable with and understand, etc. etc. 

I can talk a lot, and talk loudly, and enjoy it when I'm in a small group of people I know well, or one on one, because I already know I'm accepted and don't have to worry too much about figuring out their impressions of me, I already know what they like and their opppinions on things so I don't have to worry about stepping on people's toes accidentally, I already know they have an interest in hearing what I have to say because they care about me and if we're close they probably share similar interests. It's just SO much less to think about in the back of my mind so I actually CAN think about what I want to say without being 10 steps behind in the conversation. 

In groups it can help when the setting is more structured, when I know my role, when I know that others are supposed to be paying attention to me, when I've got some plan as to what I'm going to say. In more informal settings when people are just milling about socializing I tend to just assume I don't have anything to say that anyone would be very interested in hearing, and I'm not about to put any effort into trying to attact and maintain attention. I will speak if someone willingly gives me their attention, I may talk their ear off then, but if they don't show interest in listening to me I won't trouble them. 

Additionally group settings often do not lend themselves to very interesting topics in my experience because more often than not you end up going through the basic getting to know you questions with new people, or talk about things going on in the direct environment, and there is frequently too much commotion or turn-over in the people within ear-shot to maintain any topic for long or in depth with more than one or two of them anyways. I like conversations that are fairly focused (even if they do wander over time), and large groups just tend to be harder to keep 'on track' when so many different people are participating, interrupting, interpreting things differently, pushing their own agendas, etc etc. 

I feel like for Introverts there really are two diferent socializing modes - one for the inner circle or one-on-one and one for people at large - they are very different situations for us.



ElectricSparkle said:


> Speaking sort of from the other end of this: yes, some of you just go on and on and on, especially on one-to-one. Almost kind of tires me out at times because I just can't focus on one thing for that long, including people and conversations.





teddy564339 said:


> But is it possible that extraverts are more energized by a greater number of people?
> 
> Basically...do extraverts in general enjoy one-on-one conversations? Or would they rather prefer group situations where there's a lot of different social stimuli? Maybe extraverts would generally prefer a lot of different short conversations with a lot of people rather than one long conversation with one person. I had always assumed that for extraverts they were one and the same, but maybe there's more to it than that.


This seems to match with my limited observations of people. I have often felt like conversations with Extroverts seem to move on and switch topics much more quickly and I often want to drag the conversation back a few steps and discuss something a little more thoroughly than it seems they are interested in. Granted I don't know a lot of Extroverts, nor a lot of people's specific types in general. My impression has been, though, that Extroverted conversational groups tend to want to keep things moving, whereas Introverted conversational groups tend to want to 'Steep' themselves in the topic a bit more like sitting over a cup of tea  

Also I remember observing a friend's child who very noticably gained energy and enthusiasm with the number of people present. My speculation was that he's an ENFJ, though of course I don't know for sure. It was pretty amusing though because you could almost feel the energy bubble around him as more people came on the scene - he was such a little entertainer. I got the impression that he didn't have half as much fun playing when nobody was in the room watching him do it.


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## elenien (Apr 20, 2012)

teddy564339 said:


> But like I said, I think some of this is related to you being a P, and your Ne needing a lot of different places to bounce ideas off of. But it does get me thinking. Perhaps introverts have an easier time in certain one-on-one lengthy conversations than extraverts do.


I've noticed this a bit with the extroverts I know. Actually, if I'm honest, I've noticed this with EVERYONE I know. I tend to be able to talk about the same topic for days, long after I've lost the attention of everyone else...

Like most introverts, I'm best in one-on-one conversations with people I'm comfortable with. From there it slowly gets worse. At the other extreme, I'm terrible at unstructured large parties where I don't know many people. I suspect part of that is shyness and another part is no understanding of 'small talk' or conversation starters. I will almost never approach anyone else and only talk when spoken to. That is, when I actually bother to go at all.

The rest depends entirely on how comfortable I am or how confident I am with the subject matter being discussed in the group. If I feel like I know what I'm talking about and the group is comfortable enough (friends, work meetings, or smaller classes), then you can have a hard time getting me to shut up and I act far more dominant than I normally do.


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## teddy564339 (Jun 23, 2010)

Aelthwyn said:


> I think you're really onto something, teddy, with the observation about wording things for specific people. I think that plays a huge part in my having a hard time talking to both strangers and groups. With people I know well, particularly one on one, I have to spend less energy gaging their reactions and generally gathering information about them, which enables me to feel more free/easy with talking myself. I find it is my default mode to focus on interpreting someone, taking down all the subtle cues about their oppinions, the topics they find interesting, their general atitude toward life, their expectations of me and other people, their way of expressing themselves, the way they naturally phrase things - all of this is important information so that I can effectively connect and communicate with someone, and without it I feel lost and incapable of speaking. I try to focus on topics they are interested in so I don't bore them, I try to phrase things in a way that I think they will follow, I try to steer clear of sensitive points that could create hurt conflict or misunderstanding, I try to express my emotions in a way/level that they will be comfortable with and understand, etc. etc.
> 
> I can talk a lot, and talk loudly, and enjoy it when I'm in a small group of people I know well, or one on one, because I already know I'm accepted and don't have to worry too much about figuring out their impressions of me, I already know what they like and their opppinions on things so I don't have to worry about stepping on people's toes accidentally, I already know they have an interest in hearing what I have to say because they care about me and if we're close they probably share similar interests. It's just SO much less to think about in the back of my mind so I actually CAN think about what I want to say without being 10 steps behind in the conversation.


I find this interesting, because I had kind of just chalked this up to my Fe. It's interesting to hear that you as an Fi user also feel the same way I do. I guess in some ways it's just general human nature...but I don't think it is because in so many of these situations it seems like there are so many people who just say whatever they feel in the same way regardless of who they're around. I mean, obviously in different social situations people will choose their topics more carefully. But I mean in regards to the personalities and interests of those around them...some people seem to be the same no matter who they're talking to. 




Aelthwyn said:


> In groups it can help when the setting is more structured, when I know my role, when I know that others are supposed to be paying attention to me, when I've got some plan as to what I'm going to say. In more informal settings when people are just milling about socializing I tend to just assume I don't have anything to say that anyone would be very interested in hearing, and I'm not about to put any effort into trying to attact and maintain attention. I will speak if someone willingly gives me their attention, I may talk their ear off then, but if they don't show interest in listening to me I won't trouble them.
> 
> Additionally group settings often do not lend themselves to very interesting topics in my experience because more often than not you end up going through the basic getting to know you questions with new people, or talk about things going on in the direct environment, and there is frequently too much commotion or turn-over in the people within ear-shot to maintain any topic for long or in depth with more than one or two of them anyways. I like conversations that are fairly focused (even if they do wander over time), and large groups just tend to be harder to keep 'on track' when so many different people are participating, interrupting, interpreting things differently, pushing their own agendas, etc etc.


See, that's exactly the way it was in the situation I described in the OP. I think part of it was also that I was meeting a lot of these people for the first time, and a number of them already knew each other. But yeah...they just seemed to enjoy being able to bounce around from person to person and from topic to topic, whereas I wanted to kind of pin it down.

It's interesting, because I had thought that maybe this was just part of the J in me, maybe through Si. It's interesting to hear you express similar thoughts as an INFP. It makes me think that this E vs. I thing may be very pronounced.





Aelthwyn said:



> This seems to match with my limited observations of people. I have often felt like conversations with Extroverts seem to move on and switch topics much more quickly and I often want to drag the conversation back a few steps and discuss something a little more thoroughly than it seems they are interested in. Granted I don't know a lot of Extroverts, nor a lot of people's specific types in general. My impression has been, though, that Extroverted conversational groups tend to want to keep things moving, whereas Introverted conversational groups tend to want to 'Steep' themselves in the topic a bit more like sitting over a cup of tea
> 
> Also I remember observing a friend's child who very noticably gained energy and enthusiasm with the number of people present. My speculation was that he's an ENFJ, though of course I don't know for sure. It was pretty amusing though because you could almost feel the energy bubble around him as more people came on the scene - he was such a little entertainer. I got the impression that he didn't have half as much fun playing when nobody was in the room watching him do it.



If there's any truth to this, I would find it to be very fascinating. I may even make a thread about it if I can't find one that already exists. It would explain an aspect about the MBTI that I hadn't thought of, and it would be quite enlightening about extraverts.







elenien said:


> Like most introverts, I'm best in one-on-one conversations with people I'm comfortable with. From there it slowly gets worse. At the other extreme, I'm terrible at unstructured large parties where I don't know many people. I suspect part of that is shyness and another part is no understanding of 'small talk' or conversation starters. I will almost never approach anyone else and only talk when spoken to. That is, when I actually bother to go at all.
> 
> The rest depends entirely on how comfortable I am or how confident I am with the subject matter being discussed in the group. If I feel like I know what I'm talking about and the group is comfortable enough (friends, work meetings, or smaller classes), then you can have a hard time getting me to shut up and I act far more dominant than I normally do.



I think it's really interesting to hear an INTJ echo a lot of my own thoughts, because a lot of times I feel like ISFJs and INTJs are so different from one another. So it's cool to hear about how in these types of social situations we can have such similar experiences.


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## pinkblueberii (Jul 10, 2012)

I'm very talkative with my close cousins and mother and my best friend but mostly my mom. I don't really think some people deserve to see this side of me because then they won't appreciate it. Also, when I'm in a group setting I don't talk as much especially of I don't like the people I'm talking to. Sometimes I feel awkward having to work on projects in school with people I know who will not do as good of a job as me and if I just don't like them based on how I watched their behavior. Some people are just not worth socializing with. I also don't really talk to people because i believe some people have an ulterior motive when they are talking to you and they probably won't talk to you again tomorrow so it's like what's the point. Also If someone bores the crap out of me like when people start talking to me about their relationships with some boy or girl I'm thinking please shut up or of they talk about someone they know will never like them back it irritates me. That's why I somewhat prefer to talk to older people. When I was younger I was always more friends with my best friends mothers rather than them.


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## TiNeSi (Jan 10, 2011)

Aelthwyn said:


> This seems to match with my limited observations of people. I have often felt like conversations with Extroverts seem to move on and switch topics much more quickly and I often want to drag the conversation back a few steps and discuss something a little more thoroughly than it seems they are interested in.


I relate pretty much to the whole post, but yeah this, especially.


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## TiNeSi (Jan 10, 2011)

Aelthwyn said:


> This seems to match with my limited observations of people. I have often felt like conversations with Extroverts seem to move on and switch topics much more quickly and I often want to drag the conversation back a few steps and discuss something a little more thoroughly than it seems they are interested in.


I relate pretty much to the whole post, but yeah this, especially.


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## elenien (Apr 20, 2012)

teddy564339 said:


> I think it's really interesting to hear an INTJ echo a lot of my own thoughts, because a lot of times I feel like ISFJs and INTJs are so different from one another. So it's cool to hear about how in these types of social situations we can have such similar experiences.



I think a lot can be attributed to being introverts. There might be very different thought processes going on behind the scenes at times, but in the end it can often look very similar.


I have this annoying (and I do consider it very annoying) habit of getting extremely nervous in group social situations where I don't know everyone well. If anyone approaches me to be nice, I'll end up giving them tons of random details about my life. I will gladly tell you my life story, about my past pets, where I've lived, and keep randomly babbling until someone stops me. It makes me look like a very bubbly, friendly person, but make no mistakes... I'm nothing like that. I'm reacting out of sheer discomfort. It's like my mind says "I have no idea how to go about being appropriately social, so lets just babble." The more friendly I seem, the more uncomfortable I am. 

On the other hand, if I'm calm, mostly non-reactive, and contributing actual thoughts to a conversation, then I'm actually comfortable with the situation. In those situations my brain hasn't short circuited because of panic. (I don't have social issues... I promise.)




pinkblueberii said:


> When I was younger I was always more friends with my best friends mothers rather than them.



At 30, I still tend to do this. I've always had more in common with people older than myself.


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## teddy564339 (Jun 23, 2010)

elenien said:


> I think a lot can be attributed to being introverts. There might be very different thought processes going on behind the scenes at times, but in the end it can often look very similar.
> 
> 
> I have this annoying (and I do consider it very annoying) habit of getting extremely nervous in group social situations where I don't know everyone well. If anyone approaches me to be nice, I'll end up giving them tons of random details about my life. I will gladly tell you my life story, about my past pets, where I've lived, and keep randomly babbling until someone stops me. It makes me look like a very bubbly, friendly person, but make no mistakes... I'm nothing like that. I'm reacting out of sheer discomfort. It's like my mind says "I have no idea how to go about being appropriately social, so lets just babble." The more friendly I seem, the more uncomfortable I am.
> ...


It's interesting, because sometimes this is true for me and sometimes it's not. Sometimes I go into the same sort of mode you're describing where I can just babble on about things instinctively, and sometimes I just freeze up and get quiet, doing all of the listening instead. I think for me I just had a hard time thinking on my feet; it's so much easier if I can prepare myself.


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## blueandviolet (Feb 13, 2012)

Whoa, lots of folks speaking my mind here. Especially the parts about ..wait I'm a noob so I don't really know how to repost quotes here. Anyway.... As an INFP, these things are true about me and my different styles of conversing:


1. Have generally felt more comfortable talking with "the adults," one on one is best, with an adult whom I trust
2. Babbling out of intense social discomfort, and feeling like "whoa this isn't me, this isn't me, make it stop!"
3. Serious discomfort speaking up in big groups
4. Was fine speaking up in class in college, when I had a strong rapport with the prof, and was too excited about the material to care about what other students were thinking (until after the class, and the dreaded over-thinking.)
5. Can deal pretty well with sarcastic banter in social situations, especially if i can be snarky without feeling too mean
6. I really need to trust the group of people I'm with before I'll speak up, BUT sometimes this actually fails me, and I babble something silly out of discomfort. Immediately want to hide in the corner (but this has gotten better as I've gotten older.)

7. THIS ONE ** is interesting to me....Lately I've noticed that I behave really differently in conversations with different people. I'm not only a chameleon in terms of topics, gauging someones interests and comfort levels, but also THEIR style effects me a heck of a lot! I have been meeting a lot of what I believe to be INFJs lately, I'm very drawn to INFJs. But then when we get to talking, they seem to feel a lot more comfortable with the silences. And I respond with lots of chatter, later feeling as if I've dumped a lot on this person. I feel badly about it, and I also feel like crap for misrepresenting myself in all of this nervous talk. Dating INFJ & INFP guys is both wonderful, and very nerve wracking for me, at first. With INFJ female friends, I'm at risk for revealing too much too quickly, and interpreting silences as my que to EXPLAIN myself, for fear that I have done something wrong to cause their silences....

Hmm....


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## thestrangewarrior (May 5, 2010)

I'm an introvert and I can be quite talkative if I'm talking to someone I'm comfortable with and/or it's talking about something that I'm passionate about. If it's less interesting or if I'm not in the mood, I'm less inclined to talk or not use very many words.


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## Addie (Jul 23, 2012)

If it is something I am passionate about (especially History or literature...or baby names) and people seemed interested I could talk forever. I have had instances in the past that felt like once I got going people wanted me to shut up (I think it is called obsession vs extroversion lol) so that has made me more cautious. But when I say my ideal vacation is a month in a cabin alone, that proves to me I am such an introvert.


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## nakkinaama (Jun 20, 2012)

Well I talk alot because sometimes I get too excited, especially online! So then nothing can stop me, basically. xD 
Its like I would be manic, but slightly slightlier. Just stuff flashing in your brain nonstop, and its awesome.


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## Kito (Jan 6, 2012)

I can be very talkative, usually it's only after a social gathering that I realise I'm kinda burned out. My parents used to tell me that I need to learn when to stop talking.


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## elenien (Apr 20, 2012)

Addie said:


> I think it is called obsession vs extroversion


This made me laugh. It's so true though. When you get on certain topics it's not about being social or interacting with the outside world, but all about communicating everything that is going through your brain. I've somewhat learned not to do this, as in the end it just leaves me feeling awkward


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## Baby Spidey (Jun 4, 2012)

I am very talkative at times. It probably has to do more with my Enneagram tri-type 738, which is known as the extrovert.


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## mn_shore (Jul 19, 2012)

Hi! First off I'm naturally Introverted. However, I am quite talkative to people that I've known over a period of time. I also talk to people more if I naturally "click" with them. But otherwise I am not usually the type to start friendly conversation with strangers. Maturing and working in retail has really helped me open up and enjoy communicating with people more. But I always need my alone time to "recharge".


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## AngelOnHerFlight (Feb 26, 2012)

I'm an introvert and I can be obnoxiously talkative at times. I actually had doubts to whether I'm an introvert (even though I always score high on introversion). My mom says that I'm extraverted for this reason, but then she complains that I have "no social life." Everybody else I know sees me as an introvert.


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## renna (Jan 28, 2011)

Okay so what I'm gathering from all the introverts is that they can be quite the talkers - but you know there is a flip side to that, they can be quite the recluses too. After all, you can't have a burst of "talkative energy" and still be in "full charge" - you'll need to recharge aka introvert time. 

So what I'm concluding is, it all depends on the mood and setting for introverts.

I can be both quiet and very talkative in a group settings, but there are factors. My Fe could be drawn out and felt obligated to chirp in and keep the conversation going. If it is with good friends that I know very well, I don't feel as obligated to talk if I don't feel like it. Now if I have been alone most of the day, I'll be in a talkative mood because I feel refreshed enough to engage. I'm naturally enthusiastic and charismatic (hence my Fe) but I'll use my Ni to think of topics to discuss or ideas that relate to what is being said. 

Work setting it's completely different, most of the time I have to talk so I fake it no matter what mood I'm in (for customers). Although, I can have a short fuse with co-workers and don't mind telling them to leave me alone if I'm working on a solo project or not in the mood to talk. Usually, I like to work with little talking so I can focus and be in my own world with music playing. BUT if my Fe is going crazy and I feel the need to talk, I'll seek it out and engage.

Strangers - easy to ignore if I'm not in the mood or very easy to be charming and engaging if I'm in the mood. Yeah, I'm the one that chit chats with the cashiers when I'm in a good mood ;-)

So again, it's all about my mood and exhaustion level.


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## dhmitolo (Jul 29, 2012)

_selene_ said:


> i can relate as well..when i speak to ppl in a group that i've had one on one before.. it's amazing but if i'm in a group where i don't know anyone.. i need a drink.. normally the more the better.. but besides that .. im just quiet and I like to observe


I'm the exact same way!
Except for the once in a blue moon times or if someone is talking about something I have a great interest in. :crazy:


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## perfectcircle (Jan 5, 2011)

I'm really talkative. I just like to talk abotu what I like to talk about. I don't talk in a context where no one is interested in things i am, besides small jokes and small talk-- usually I'll just get them going and makes encouraging comments. I also have a harder time talking when I don't feel secure or that people will stop to listen, most of the time that means I want a situation with people I am initmate with.


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## Eric B (Jun 18, 2010)

For Behind the Scenes types (ISF/INP), the talkativeness could be, rather than from "expressiveness", a form of "responsiveness", which ties to what's called the "informing" communication, where according to Keirsey, they allow the other person to define the relationship. It's even referred to in the APS as "_responding_ as an extrovert".

Low expressive and high responsive, is actually the Supine temperament Temperament: Supine In Inclusion (BtS could also be Phlegmatic, which is more moderate in behavior). 
Fitting, that the OP is an ISFJ, which fits quite well Supine in the social area, and I also see a lot of INFP's and ISFP's.

Supines are reserved, and don't look like they want interaction, but when approached by others, if they feel secure with them, then they'll open up and can be chatty, like a Sanguine (ESF/ENP), who is simply the temperament's extroverted counterpart. 
I know I can be that way, when talking about interests.

Also, there's a third area not covered by Interaction Style and Keirsey temperament, where any introverted type (Including "directive" Chart the Course IST/INJ) can be a Sanguine, Choleric or Supine, and express and/or respond to close relationships in a chatty fashion.

Otherwise, a CtC (or Phlegmatic BtS) might become chatty at times when really excited about something. It's just not as often as someone who expresses or responds like an extrovert.


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## staticmud (Jun 28, 2012)

I am usually rather loud and talkative, though not compared so some people I know. I'm fairly social and good with people. I can handle one-on-one conversations and groups with ease and sometimes at parties I do the "social butterfly" thing and move from group to group. I have a lot of acquaintances and no close friends. I can do all the small talk and chit-chat with ease. I'm confident and people always think that I'm charming, but I'm still an introvert. The people I know who are into MBTI originally typed me as an extravert, though.

However, I know I'm an introvert because I need my "introvert time", some time alone to recharge.


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## DomNapoleon (Jan 21, 2012)

I can be the most talkative person - if I feel safe and secure in the environment where I am. If I feel that the environment isn't secure to speak up or that there is too much repression or critics I will not open my mouth. So my communication is dependent on the environment. :ninja:


I found an interesting post about INFJ and being talkative: 



> Despite their refined tastes, INFJs are typically not pretentious or excessively serious individuals. They regularly enjoy spending time with other people, listening to music, and watching movies (especially “classics”). Perhaps more than anything, INFJs love spending time engrossed in meaningful conversation. Because of their verbosity and enjoyment of others’ company, they can easily be mistaken for Extraverts.


Source: http://personalitycafe.com/infj-articles/75929-most-accurate-analysis-infj.html#post1867791​

Besides this post may also seem interesting for many persons: Personality Type, Talkativeness, Sociability, Compatibility, & Relationships | Personality Junkie



> *1. Talkativeness: (E=N, J): *ENJs (highest), ENPs, INJs, ESJs, INPs, ESPs, ISJs, ISPs (lowest)
> 
> *2. Need for Social Activity (F, E): *EFs (highest), IFs, ETs, ITs (lowest)
> 
> *3. Interest in Conversation: (N=F, E, J): *ENFJ (highest), ENFP, INFJ, INFP, ESFJ, ENTJ, INTJ, ENTP, ESFP, ISFJ, INTP, ISFP, ESTJ, ISTJ, ESTP, ISTP (lowest)


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

I'm not really talkative in groups unless the group is like 4-5 people, or one on one as you said. But I do tend to just spit out jokes and sarcasm to make sure everyone else is in a good mood xD


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## ibage (May 5, 2012)

I can be very talkative but it has to be about something I like. For instance, last year when my friend was asking about buying a PC, he made the mistake of asking me for advice. That conversation went on for about an hour and was more or less very one sided. I tend to let loose when people ask for advice if they start dabbling in a hobby I enjoy. 

Aside from that, a buddy I used to work with was an ISFP and we'd be able to go on for a while. He was much more outgoing than I am but we'd start talking about something and it would last for a while. He and I were into WH40K. He'd talk about how he was modeling his army and I'd suggest strategies and such for how to run against other armies. We both gave the other interesting ideas and we'd usually be able to keep the talk going for a long while.

Yes, I can be talkative and I know other introverts can be as well. I know there are probably some too who don't know how to keep their mouths shut.


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## Yedra (Jul 28, 2012)

My thoughts are convoluted and when I try to imagine how to express them it is always too long, so I usually don't talk too much because I don't expect anyone to listen to me for long periods, that's why I don't bother most of the time. 

I like to observe people and learn as much about them as possible, so I will ask a lot of questions and that's how the conversation will develop because most people I meet or know like to talk about themselves. Some people are reserved and then it's me just asking questions and getting one-liners in response. When I notice that, I will soon stop and I'm not concerned about the silence that follows and I will not force a conversation.

I've noticed that I get into lengthy monologues while other people are eating. I don't know, maybe it's easier for me to talk more since people are not likely to interrupt me while they're eating, haha.


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## bookbutterfly (Jul 15, 2012)

I can be pretty talkative and even loud, especially when I'm with close friends, say two to four of them at a time. After that, I just feel drained. But when it comes to being in discussion sections (I'm in college, so this is common, unfortunately), where there are ten to thirty people at a time, I'm really shy and quiet...until we're told to split up into small group of five or so. And then I get chatty and tend to be the one taking charge (I'm not sure why this is...I always end up as the group leader *shrug*) and also throwing my Fe into action by being pretty talkative and trying to "take care of everyone's feelings".

Also, ever since I was in elementary school, I've always actually really enjoyed public speaking. I find it tedious having to prepare for it and everything, but I'm not really fazed at having to talk in front of hundreds of people. I had to give a little schpiel for something in high school a couple years ago for about thirty to fifty people, and the principal (who had told me I was chosen randomly to give the speech) CLEARLY expressed her doubts to me that I could even do it, in part because apparently one of my classmates said, "She won't want to do it, she's too shy!" *eye roll* It's really annoying. I guess I'm just really selective with who I open up to, and will appear shy to anyone else. Anyway, I had no problem giving that speech, and I actually enjoyed it...I think the principal was pretty surprised. 

But for some reason, when I was really little, I was PAINFULLY shy. As a toddler, I'd actually hide behind my parents' back whenever strangers would go up to me! And I was definitely not talkative then. But when I was in class, I was extremely Hermione-esque--you know, hand-raising all the time and blurting out the answers and throwing in random info I'd learned on my own (annoying know-it-all kid? heck yes!). Oddly enough, I don't do that anymore...I feel too shy and I'm always afraid I'm going to offend someone if I do that now...maybe it came with developing Fe? *shrug*


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## Kimalynn (Jul 26, 2012)

I'm pretty sure everyone can be talkative or not. We all, according to Jung, have two introverted functions and two extroverted functions, so we just have to draw them out from time to time. 

I tend to talk more when I feel there is a lack of leadership, or if I'm really nervous. 

At the same time, I've seen some quiet extroverts. Pe tends to talk in order to get people to give them more information, while Je likes to talk to express judgements. So my ESFP friend likes to talk about things I judge as "shallow" or "gossip" because she just wants more people to tell about their experiences and activities. My ENFP friends know how to get people to talk about their ideas and feelings. My ENFJ friends don't seem to need me to respond as much in conversation.


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## Madman (Aug 7, 2012)

This is a complex issue, as an Introvert I can be talkative, but the situations that I'm able to do so seems to have no pattern.


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