# Influence of parents' types on children's type development



## William I am (May 20, 2011)

My immediate family have been posting their results from this MBTI knockoff test. I think it's interesting because I'm an ENTP, I have a sister who tested ENTP (I thought she was ESTP), another brother who is an ESTJ (odd one out), a sister who is an ISFJ, and another brother who I suspect is an ENTP or maybe an INTP/J.
My mom just tested as an INFJ (Thought she was an ISFJ), and I'm pretty sure that my dad was an ENTP. He has dementia and probably wouldn't be able to finish the test. Anyway....

Are there theories circulating on the influence of parents' types on children?

To make it easier to look at, this is what I have:
Dad Mom
ENTP INFJ

Siblings in order of age:
ENTP female - 36?
Unknown(INTP?) male 33?
ISFJ female 30
ENTP male 26 (mel)
ESTJ male 23


So I'm wondering if there's any theory that might make some correlation between parent and child personality types. It's pretty unusual to have 2 ENTPs in a group of 7 people, and it seems even more unusual to have 3 NT's in a group like that, though my parents were both pretty scholarly (dad had a PhD, mom has a master's and teaching credential).

It's also interesting to see the changes as the influence of my dad trailed off and the influence of my mom became more intense. I know a lot of people think type is inborn, but I think there is some aspect to it that changes depending on environment.

Cheers


----------



## Brianna1 (Oct 22, 2013)

My dad has probably influenced me a lot we're both INTJs. My mom and sister are pretty similar too, mom's and ENFJ and sisters an INFJ.

We're all intuitive and judging so it could've come from either parent for me and my sister but I got thinking and introversion from my dad and my sister got introversion from my dad and extroversion from my mom.

Parents: INTJ ENFJ

Me: INTJ
Sister: INFJ


----------



## question my existence (Sep 18, 2013)

I do think that a parents type can influence the child yes but on a differing aspect I also believe that children are born with a unique personality. Traits from the parent can be carried on to the child, without the childs personality type changing, if that makes sense. Having said that, I have a lot in common with my dad (ENFP) and am nothing like my mother (ESFJ). I've been an INFP for my entire life save for maybe 2 moments where my shadow dominated. :bored: 


I hope that wasn't confusing. :blushed:


----------



## Sun Lips (Jan 28, 2013)

It seems to me that most online MBTI tests are particularly inaccurate when it comes to N/S and tend to be very generous with iNtuition, so it does not surprise me that many of your family members were aligned with your suspected type except that the test gave them N instead of S.

Anyway. My mom is an ISFJ and my dad is an ENFJ - both tested/confirmed, though I predicted their types beforehand. They are both outstanding, highly-developed examples of their type so it wasn't that difficult.

I am so like my father, except in his extraversion, that I would have pinned him for an ENFJ even if I hadn't known anything about cognitive functions. He is just the friendlier, more energetic version of myself. I am the quiet, shy version of him. Although I always felt largely misunderstood by most people, my dad easily "got" me. Sometimes, growing up, it was like we could read each other's minds. Now as an adult, I see more and more of his mannerisms in myself all the time. I act like him. I have his sense of humor. I adopted many of his quirks. (Sometimes I'll tell him about it, and you can tell it just tickles him pink.)

My mother, on the other hand, is like the perfect person I could never really be. Even though we share auxiliary Fe and tertiary Ti, we do not operate very similarly at all. I would describe myself as structured, but she is impeccable in practically everything she does. While I am naturally more like my father, I have always striven to be like my mother. She definitely influenced me in that way, because I always wanted to imitate her and handle life the way she does. Like a tree rooted to the ground. I've never been able to match up, though; perhaps an inherent difference between Ni and Si.

Either way, the fact that both of them are such incredible people probably had a more profound effect than anything. My younger brother (age 18 now) is an INTP and he is a lot like my mother.


----------



## Scelerat (Oct 21, 2012)

I think "dominant family type" can have an influence. For instance, my family is full of perceivers so that comes through in the organization of the house. A dislike of restrictions, being told what to do, lack of planning or adherence to schedules etc. I don't think it can change your type, and as far as I know the connection between genetics and MBTI is somewhat iffy (I think @_reckful_ posted something about it in a different thread). 

I do however think that your family type can influence the appearance of your type. A feeler raised in a house of thinkers, a thinker raised in a house of feelers, a sensor raised in a house of intuitives or an intuitive raised in a house of sensors may manifest differently than something who was raised in circumstances that better supported their type. 

Enneagram would without a doubt play a role in this as well. An image type may be more inclined to "play the role" where an ID type would be more inclined to rebel against it and a head type may analyze it. 

Then again, a Te type being motivated by effectiveness and efficiency may be inclined to "play along" for the sake of efficiency, an Fe type for social harmony, Se-Fi more inclined to be a rebel, Si - Fe more likely to play along and so on.

Other aspects of psychology play a role here, expectancy theory, Maslow's needs, hygines and motivators, behavioral modification and so on.


----------



## Damagedfinger (Oct 27, 2013)

My father is INTJ, and so am I.

My mother is ESTJ and one of my siblings is ESFJ.

I can see an influence there.


----------



## Tom Soy Sauce (Jul 25, 2013)

I think you're better off typing your parents yourself and just observing what functions they use, the tests are bogus and you can reach different results depending on your mood. But anyway, I'm an ENTP only child and my mother is an ISFJ and father ESTJ. From what I can tell there is no correlation between "dominant" family types because I live in an extremely SJ dominated family. Even my extended family is full of SJ's with a couple SP's sprinkled in here and there. I believe I have one intuitive in my family being my uncle who is probably ENTJ, and we get along great.

But it's really hard on your development if your parents are basically polar opposites of you and disagree with everything you have to say. This applies to my ESTJ father more who is so close minded and unwilling to compromise it's ridiculous. My mother can empathize with me but I can tell she's just humoring me and really thinks I'm weird/crazy.

For me I feel it kind of set me back a bit in life and probably had a lot to do with the identity crisis I had that I'm just coming out of. ENTP's are probably one of the most independent types out there, and SJ's value structure, authority, and responsibility (or what _they _consider responsibility). I mean it's kind of sad because I can't really see myself actually being close to my parents later in life, or at least not my dad. My mom always said she thought my dad would be the "cool" parent and I wouldn't get along with her, but it's really the other way around.


----------



## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

My experience is that parents don't impact type, but type differences do impact the relationship and impart skills. Usually the child feels squelched if the parent is of a different type and imposing their type upon them, but they are still who they are. And this isn't just about type, it's about personality; parents have to really have a keen sense of who their children are and take that into account when raising them. (I've raised three and they were all different.) Personally I think the goal is to foster who a child is, while at the same time presenting an open exchange where each person can learn from each other and become more well-rounded... but always freely.

In fact, my ESFP kid was the only E in a family of introverts, so we tried to impose Introversion on him (keeping him quieter, lower energy level, lower impulsiveness), and when he was 4-5 he got very depressed over it and we had to ease up. Some restraint was necessary for him to learn, but he was never going to be an introvert; he had an extrovert feedback system. Now that he's an older teen and has had experience living with people very different than himself, he's become more well-rounded, but he's still himself, and he changed us as well.

As far as my own experience with my parents, I had an ESTP dad, an ISFJ mom, and an ISFJ sister. I was the only N in the family, and it was a very lonely place to be, and I was not close to anyone in my family, especially my parents. They didn't understand me, and my dad could be a bully at times when I wasn't doing things the way he thought they should be done. My family's personalities did not change me to be like them; it only made my life hell.


----------



## Calvin (Jun 21, 2012)

Dad: ENFP 

Mom: ISFJ 

Me: INTP

They're both pretty cool. Mom laughs at my jokes, and Dad gets my intuitiveness. Not sure where I inherited the thinking preference though.


----------



## hailfire (Dec 16, 2012)

Hmm in my family it doesn't seem to be too apparent:

Mom: ENFX
Dad: ESTJ
Oldest Sis: ISTJ
Me: ISTP
Brother: ESFP
Lil Sis: ESFJ


----------



## Visby (Jun 24, 2013)

Dad: ISTJ | Mum: ENTJ

It's a mystery how I turned out the way I did, really. My father and I tend to get along well, though in all honesty - we rarely talk despite living in the same house. While it's obvious he sometimes thinks my feelings are irrational, he does respect and value my viewpoint. My mother on the other hand, has very low tolerance for introversion and inefficiency. (Hey, I like to take things easy!)

My only theory is that two TJs became too much for the inherently Four-ish child, so naturally, I went in the opposite direction :-D


----------



## Violator Rose (Sep 23, 2011)

I don't think your parents can influence what type you will grow up to have. I believe your type is something you're born with. However, I also believe that growing up with certain individuals can affect how you see the world, despite your type.

On a different note, sometimes I wonder if your personality type has anything to do with genetics. Probably not though, because in my immediate family, our types are quite varied.

Mom: ISTJ
Dad: ENTP
Me: ENFP
My sister: ESFJ

Clearly I get my intuitive perceiving from my dad, and my sister gets her sensing and judging from my mom. Aside from that, there's not much else. Neither my sister nor me are introverted, like my mom. Also, I don't know where we get our strong feeling functions from, since both my mom and my dad are strong thinkers.


----------



## Chocolava (Dec 10, 2013)

Mum's an INFP, Bro's an ESFP


----------



## FakeLefty (Aug 19, 2013)

Mom: INTJ
Dad: ISTJ
Brother: INFJ
Me: ISTP

The one consistent common thing within my family is that we're all introverts, although I'm the least introverted one in my family. Interesting that I'm the only perceiver in my family and my brother's the only feeler in the family.


----------



## KSKatze (Nov 15, 2012)

Mom: INFP
Dad: XNTP
Me: INFJ
Brother: ISTP

No one has any idea where my brother got his solid practicality...


----------



## FluffyTheAnarchist (Sep 9, 2013)

I have a somewhat strange family situation, I don't speak to my father (as he has a very toxic personality), my mom and uncle are the family members to whom I relate the most, though I was raised mostly by my grandma.

Mom: ENFP (textbook ENFP)
Dad: ISFJ (controlling, manipulative, toxic)
Grandma: ESFJ (dogmatic, kind and caring)
Uncle: INFP (tends to act more T than F)

Me: ESFP (barely E over I, and S over N)
I believe that my mom's, my uncle's and my relatively well-developed Fe are a product of being raised by an ESFJ, however, Si is my weakest function (which somewhat weakens my previous statement). Can't quite assess the amount of Si my mom and uncle have, uncle probably has more of it than my mom, while my own Si is nearly non-existent. 

Back to Fe, If we indeed develop some shadow functions to bond with our primary care-givers, wonder how do we subconsciously pick which ones to develop? Most likely, based on validation levels. I remember being taught to never take the last piece of food left on a platter all for myself, even if it's ridiculously tiny, it must be shared with everyone at the table. Hospitality was very big in my grandma's house, for instance - a guest always gets the most comfortable bed. My grandma truly believes (to this day) that a mother must not praise her children, but strive for OTHERS to praise them (very Fe, and unhealthy in my opinion). Lots of Fe rules in my childhood.

It could, of course, also be that the 3 of us were born with substantial amounts of Fe -- I know, however that on the inside "Fe" feels more like an acting job for us. It's obviously a secondary process. Definitely an interesting case of nature vs. nurture to ponder.


----------



## William I am (May 20, 2011)

Visby said:


> My only theory is that two TJs became too much for the inherently Four-ish child, so naturally, I went in the opposite direction :-D


Four-ish? What's that?




Violator Rose said:


> I don't think your parents can influence what type you will grow up to have. I believe your type is something you're born with. However, I also believe that growing up with certain individuals can affect how you see the world, despite your type.
> 
> On a different note, sometimes I wonder if your personality type has anything to do with genetics. Probably not though, because in my immediate family, our types are quite varied.
> 
> ...



Interesting mix. There is also genetic variation among siblings though. It's clear that one or the other of my parents' lineage is dominant in any one of my siblings. My dad's side's physical features are more prominent in my older brother, myself, and the younger of my two older sisters. The youngest and oldest are much more like my mother's family line.

So we've got:
Dad's side
Dad ENTP
Bro INTP?
Me ENTP
Sister INFJ


Mom's side:
Mom INFJ
Sister ENTP
Brother ESTJ

... Heh, there's less of a pattern than I though there might be there :laughing:


----------



## Visby (Jun 24, 2013)

William I am said:


> Four-ish? What's that?


In lack of a better word, I took to using the enneatype four as an adjective


----------



## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

mom: ESFJ 2w1 Sp/So
dad: INFJ 9w1 Sp/So
brother: ISTP 8w9/9w8 So/Sx
moi: ENFP 7w6 Sx/Sp

I see no correlation at all


----------



## googoodoll (Oct 20, 2013)

Well i'm the only N in my family, and it sucks, i'm also a loner because i'm too picky when it comes to friends and they usually abandon or betray me in some way, like siding with the masses.


----------



## EidolonAlpha (Aug 11, 2014)

Sorry for the thread necromancy, but I find this topic very intriguing and didn't want to create a thread about a topic that's already been discussed in another one.

Some users here seem to be influenced by their parents (or at least they share the personality type), others don't.
I find it very difficult to make a statement here. My dad is an ISTJ for 100%, I'm not sure about my mum, but I think, she is ESFJ. My sister did the test and got ESFJ which was pretty obvious to me. 
So _if_ parents really are an influence to your personality type, I wonder how I became an INTP - or in general, how some people become for example NT's with SJ parents. 
I found very few resources of _why_ you become this or that personality type, but there are few things in life which determine your personality like your parents, so I think there must be at least _some_ connection.

Maybe in my case the explanation for me being a P person is teenage rebellion, the desire to be different, but then again, why did I start to rebel at the first place? My parents both were really determined about "how things should be done properly", "how you should speak to people", even when I already moved out and this still spooks in my head. It's a cheap example, but at least it is one: I don't really care if my bed is made or if its a mess, because it's going to be messy again anyway. But on the other hand I really feel uncomfortable in untidy surroundings (which is why I only sleep in my sleeping room and the whole room is a mess) and if I don't make timetables, financial tables, lists and everything, like my father taught me, I'm going to be lost. So I figure, if I'd have "P"-parents, I would be much more than 10% perceiving.
Then for another example has Will I am many ENTP's in the family. ENTP is a quite rare personality type and I don't think that's just a coincidence.

What do you guys think?


----------



## Belleberry (Aug 26, 2018)

I know this is an old thread but this really interests me so i thought I'd comment.

I'm an ESTP. I was brought up by my grandmother an ENTJ (i think), my grampa an ISTP and my mum an INFP. 

I remember growing up in a really strict religious household. My grandmother had control over everything, she was either an ENTJ or a really narcissistic ENFJ. My poor grampa, he was always such a sweetheart.

Looking back i feel i was forced to be an ISTJ. I always had to be prim and proper. Never speak my mind, speak when spoken to and never to cry infront of people. But when spending alone time with my grampa and mum, i was allowed to be myself.


----------



## Eren Jaegerbomb (Nov 13, 2015)

My family has influenced me a lot, 3 ESTPs and 1 ExFP.


----------

