# 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻: 𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝗘𝗾𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗜𝗻 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗵 | 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲 | 𝗜𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗝𝗼𝘆



## X10E8 (Apr 28, 2021)

𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻:𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝗘𝗾𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗜𝗻 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗵 | 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲 | 𝗜𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗛𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀💜















































*The previous generations had it a lot worse, when it comes to abuse and trauma. While this is true, it does not prevent people from experiencing what they are experiencing. *

*In the good old days, the majority of populations were enslaved or enlisted in endless wars, while the rest were slitting each other’s throats in the night for this or that tyrant. Death was ubiquitous. Most people didn’t live past, like, age thirty. And this was how things were for the majority of human history: shit and shingles and starvation.*

*It's time to **heal, to be present, and to show ourselves the Self-**Compassion and love that we so **urgently needed.*

*You will be on our level once you have healed your trauma. Many of these older folks are unhappy because they have experienced trauma that needs to be healed. They won't be able to be joyful until their wounds have healed.

Many older people have envy issues toward the younger generations; they are the ones that prevent the younger generations from progressing and strive to keep them at their own wretched level. Self compassion is the only way to process and heal from this.*

Life is full of reminders of what we lack. There is always someone who is more successful, more talented, more attractive, or more advanced in meeting milestones than we are.

We encounter these people every day—in fact, they are often our friends, family members, and colleagues. Sometimes these encounters can leave us with a bitter taste in our mouths and a green glow in our eyes.









Envy is a state of desiring something that someone else possesses. It’s a vicious emotion that can crush self-esteem, inspire efforts to undermine others’ successes, or even cause people to lash out violently. It also just feels horrible.

So what can we do to disarm the green-eyed monster when it strikes? Here are five suggestions.

*1. Acknowledge envy*

Admitting that we are experiencing envy can be very threatening, because it means acknowledging our own weakness and insecurity.

The first clue that envy is lurking may be irrational feelings of hostility towards the object of our envy. Just the sight of them might make your skin crawl, even though they have done nothing wrong that you can put your finger on.

We are better off unravelling this form of vague resentment and identifying its green-colored root before it gets the better of us and damages our relationships. Paying attention to bodily cues may also be helpful, as certain forms of envy can trigger a “fight-or-flight” physiological response involving symptoms like increased heart rate, clenched muscles, and sweaty palms.

*2. Recognize that pride is just the flip side of the envy coin*

It is tempting—but generally unhelpful—to try to counteract envy with pride. “Sure, he has a nice car, but I’m better looking” is not going to get you very far. You might feel vindicated in the moment, but sooner or later someone is going to come along who has a nicer car than you and is better looking.

In other words, reassuring ourselves about our own enviable traits is unlikely to be sustainable, and it maintains the same unstable social comparison hierarchy where someone else needs to be put down in order for us to feel boosted up, and vice versa.

Instead of responding to the pain of envy with efforts to bolster your self-esteem, try self-compassion instead. Acknowledge that it is hard to see someone do well when you’re floundering, and remind yourself that you are very much not alone in your feelings of inadequacy. Even the most successful people suffer from self-doubt at times. Being imperfect is synonymous with being human.

*3. Replace envy with compassion*

Although envy seems almost like a compliment, it can be quite dehumanizing. It reduces the object of envy to something very narrow and masks the full picture of who they are and what their life is like.

Have you ever envied someone who seemed to to have the perfect life, only to find out later that they were in fact suffering in a very major way?

These cases are more common than we might think—we just don’t have the opportunity to learn about someone’s difficulties when we’re mired in envy of their seemingly charmed life. (New research finds Facebook does not help things, by the way.)

It’s not that we should seek out others’ suffering, searching for ****** in their armor, but rather we should be open to seeing them in a fuller way, a way that will inevitably include both strengths and weaknesses, joys and sorrows. Doing so will allow us to notice things we may have otherwise overlooked—and as a result, be there for them when they are in need.

Appreciating a person in their fullness can also help us feel genuinely happy for their successes, a form of positive support called “capitalization” that has been shown to promote relationship well-being.

*4. Let envy fuel self-improvement—when appropriate*

When our envy is rooted in things we cannot change about ourselves, such as a difficult childhood, a traumatic event, or certain health conditions and disabilities, using envy to motivate self-improvement is more likely to dig us deeper into frustration and self-blame.

But sometimes envy alerts us to things that we want in life that are potentially attainable, if we’re willing to make certain changes.

For example, if you envy your productive colleague, you may find that you could be more productive yourself if you learned to manage your time better. You may even be able to get a few tips from him or her—upward social comparison can be a source not only of motivation but also of useful information.

*5. Don’t forget to count your own blessings*

As the saying goes, envy is counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own.

Counting our blessings isn’t the same as boosting our ego by reminding ourselves how we’re better than others, as in the nice car/good looks example above. It’s more about refocusing on what is really important in life, and on the sometimes intangible or invisible things we do possess—and that are less dependent on social comparisons, like a strong spirit, a diversity of life experiences, or just the simple fact of being alive.

The bottom line: Envy drains our happiness and saps our energy. It’s appreciation that reveals abundance in places where we might have failed to look.








Five Ways to Ease Your Envy


What can we do to disarm the green-eyed monster when it strikes?




greatergood.berkeley.edu





*“Happiness is found when you stop comparing yourself to other people.” ~Unknown*

Throughout this year I’ve noticed myself feeling envious of other people. Particularly, I would feel envious of the famous people that I would see on television, read about in magazines, and follow on social media.

I wouldn’t even be envious of them for the things one might expect. It wasn’t because they were famous or wealthy. It wasn’t because they had millions of followers on social media. And it wasn’t because they were good looking.

Still, I would find myself feeling envious of an actress if she had a better personality than I did. I would feel bad about myself for not being as outgoing or bubbly or expressive. I would feel like I wasn’t as likeable for being quiet and an introvert.

I would feel envious of another celebrity for her ability to live a fun and impulsive life. I would see the way someone else could take risks and not seem to worry about the future. This made me feel like I was too cautious, and that it would keep me from having an exciting life.

I would feel envious of a musician for the level of success she achieved. This would be especially true if the singer was close to my age. I would feel as though I was wasting my life away, while other people my age already had careers.

Whenever I felt this way, I always wanted to try to understand these feelings. Not only did I want to understand them, I wanted to make them go away.

*I didn’t want to feel envious of the people that I looked up to. I wanted to feel happy for them.*

So, I would think about the person that made me feel this way and I would try to figure out what specifically made me feel envious. I would try to list my own strengths. I would try to see that this person wasn’t so different from me.

When that didn’t work, I would try to ignore the feelings. When that didn’t work, I just hoped these feelings would just fade over time. But I couldn’t seem to get the results I wanted.

It became clear to me that I would have to learn to embrace my feelings instead. One thing I’ve come to realize is that you can’t really control how you feel. Feelings are not inherently bad. But you need to look within to understand what is causing them.

By embracing my feelings, I realized that I would become envious of different people for similar reasons. I was envious of the person with a more outgoing personality because I wanted people to notice me.

When I thought I was envious of someone’s success, I realized I was envious jealous of the friends she made along the way.

*Most of my envy came from a desire to make more friends and have more fun.*

On this path toward understanding envy, I remembered a time when I was younger when I would always get envious of my friends when they won trophies. I didn’t participate in sports, so there wasn’t any chance of me getting a trophy of my own.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize that trophies and awards don’t matter all that much. They can certainly help a person to feel good about his or her hard work. But what really matters is the journey.

What matters is playing the sport, or playing the music, or performing in the plays, or solving the equations. What matters is growing and becoming better than you once were. What matters is doing something you love to do. The trophy is really just a symbol of the journey.

If a person had a trophy, I would feel like she was better than me. I didn’t have one, so I would feel worthless. I didn’t realize that it represented something deeper. I didn’t understand the hard work or the journey.

Now that I’m older, I realize that I don’t get envious of people who win trophies or awards anymore. Coming to this realization gave me hope. It made me realize that envy is something we can outgrow.

Still, time is not the only remedy for unwanted envy.

*5 Tips For Overcoming Envy*
*1. Look beyond the surface.*

If we feel envious of someone, we’re probably only seeing what’s on the surface.

It might seem like a person has easily acquired success, love, and quite frankly, happiness, while we struggle to achieve any one of those things. However, it’s important to remember that life is a journey.

If a person has success, there is a journey that led up to it. If a person has love, there is a journey that led up to it. These things don’t happen overnight. They take time. And you have to give yourself time to achieve them, too.

*2. Take some time to unplug.*

Social media makes it so easy for us to see the best parts of other people’s lives. It can make it seem like everyone else is happy and successful, while we are struggling to keep up.

If you feel envious of someone, take some time to just focus on youtself. Do things that will make you happy, like taking a nice bath or drinking tea or going for a bike ride. Take some time to focus on things that make you feel good about yourself.

*3. Look within.*

If you are envious of someone, take some time to understand _why _specifically you are envious of him or her.

Maybe you’re envious of the person’s career or appearance or abilities. Why do you feel envious of that particular thing? Maybe it would bring you happiness. Maybe it would give you independence. It could be that the thing you really want can be achieved in a variety of different ways.

*4. Know that your feelings do not make you a bad person.*

When I’m envious of someone it can be frustrating, because I usually just want to be happy for that person’s success. So then, not only do I feel envious, but I also feel guilty.

We feel the things we do for a reason, and oftentimes we have to dig deep within to understand the true source of those feelings. Be patient with yourself.

*5. Know that you are valuable.*

If I feel envious of someone, it’s usually because I believe she is better than me. I’ll be envious of one aspect of that person’s life and think I am worthless because I don’t have that one thing.

The truth is that we are all valuable. You may not have everything you want in your life right now, but that does not take away your worth. You don’t need to compare yourself to others because you are perfect the way you are.








5 Ways to Deal With Envy So It Doesn’t Steal Your Happiness


When we compare ourselves to others we feel bad about ourselves and our lives. Here's what's helped me move past envy.



tinybuddha.com




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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Deleted to be respectful to the thread, and community.


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## X10E8 (Apr 28, 2021)

0.M.I.A.0 said:


> WTF?
> 
> Cherry picking.
> 
> ...


Uhh, this isn't about you lol. 

I found a new topic


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## X10E8 (Apr 28, 2021)

0.M.I.A.0 said:


> WTF?
> 
> Cherry picking.
> 
> ...


Understand, that I like you.


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## Eren Jaegerbomb (Nov 13, 2015)

Of course everybody of every generation is valuable. I think most people don't take the generation labels seriously. Just for fun.


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