# Can you read people like a book?



## summersoccer14

I'm an ENFJ and i dont think it's reading.. i observ.. and i understand why people do things and where they are coming from.. more then anything.

I'm good at knowing why someone does something.. and i'm good at knowing their feelings and actions.. by observing though..


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## Ezmoed

I'm not sure if it's common for INFPs, but most of the time I'm able to read people very well. I believe it stems from my natural empathetic nature. It's quite easy for me to relate to people, even in the most extreme circumstances.


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## marked174

I'm currently writing a book on how to read people like a book. I'm fascinated by what I'm finding in my research.


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## kibou

marked174 said:


> I'm currently writing a book on how to read people like a book. I'm fascinated by what I'm finding in my research.


Mmarked174, I'd love to read it! What research are you using?


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## marked174

kibou said:


> Mmarked174, I'd love to read it! What research are you using?


 This forum has been very helpful, as is my experience with everyday people. I've found that there is so much material that I need to break it down into volumes. I'm starting with how to read peoples desires, dreams, and values. I think finding what is most important to a person is a good place to start when trying to understand them.


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## Electrical flOw

Yeah, I am very good at it.

I think I can read people very well, but it is distracting and overwhelming when you take all these people thoughts and feelings, especially if I am in crowded place. So now I try to ignore it and use my Te, I deal with people with the logic and keep the reading on the desk.


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## Dalien

murderegina said:


> Perhaps it is not about judging others as you put it. Maybe NFs not only read into their the information their Fi or Fe gives them and couple it with their Ni or Ne. Where does that leave you? With a good intuition of feeling. If you can empathize with someone truly, you put yourself so much in their shoes that it's hard NOT to get a good read on them.


 
Bingo! iNtuitive Feeling and add empathy.....well there you go!

I am an INFJ...I~~74% N~~100% F~~75% J~~68% and have very strong empathy. There is another Empathy that is different than the dictionary definition. I have that, as well~~empathic/psychic.


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## Caelum

I don't read people like books--I read them like pictures. It may be a problem because I take everything that people say and do at face-value, so I come off as very gullible when people lie to me. On the other hand it's a blessing since I can't get into trouble for not assuming. Anyway It's not that I can't read people, generally speaking, it's that I only choose to read (or accept) what I'm offered, and that is anything at face-value.


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## AgAu

Electrical flOw said:


> I think I can read people very well, but it is distracting and overwhelming when you take all these people thoughts and feelings, especially if I am in crowded place. So now I try to ignore it and use my Te, I deal with people with the logic and keep the reading on the desk.


OMG I totally relate to this! I used to doubt I was an extravert for that very reason. Dropping into a crowded scene with so much to digest is overwhelming. My particular strength is characterizing how each person functions within a group but too much too fast is intuition overload and I actually get physically jittery.

I do read people very well. Not so much as to predicting behavior, but more in terms of understanding what they value. 

These are fun gifts to have, but I do tend to surround myself most with people that I have a difficult time figuring out, they provide the randomness that I desire in life.


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## nikkigargin

Oh yeh big time. Im ENFP and i can pick up on atmospheres really easily as well, i just know if somethings not right. I can also tell alot about the emotions behind people by the words they use, words rather than sentances really stand out to me. also i can tell if someones lying 100% of the time, in turn i am a very good liar because i know how to hide it.

i think people know you can read them as well, because fake people tend to stay the hell away from me because i dont buy into there fake over friendlyness, and i tend be abit like hmmmm, and they soon go on to the next people and try it. i tend to get on with deep people who are themselves with anyone at anytime, people who dont give a toss basicly. even if they can be unpleasent, i trust them more because there honest about it.

i think how it weirdly works, is this -

you meet someone, who acts in a certain way, you assess what is motivating that action eg what are they trying to percieve or get, and then you assess why eg maybe insecurity, fear, jealousy and then you can make a judgement and watch it unfold before your eyes


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## Dalien

Rez said:


> everything one says can be supported or contridicted by their body language


Yes, that can be so very true. Some people are extremely well at hiding, as well.


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## GrannyWeatherwax

I think I was meant to be very good at it, but I killed a great part of it when I was little because it was better to assume that everything was all right (I have a very troublesome family).
I still notice that I'm really good at reading faces and reactions and sensing when something is not right, but some part of me is overly eager to assure myself that it's just my imagination.
(And then later it always turns out that my instinct was right all along.)
Besides, some INFP-ish part of me (?) always want to think the best of other people, so I can never get myself to suspect that other people are lying.
I'm learning, though. I've come to realize that most people are damn liars!! :dry:
But can usually spot when people are being false, and I keep as far away from them as possible.

I don't know if I'm easy or hard to read, but I very often experience that people misread me.
I dont think it's because I'm that poker-faced; I sometimes suspect that my body language for some reason beyond my control don't match my emotions and reactions at all...


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## HappiLie

GrannyWeatherwax said:


> I still notice that I'm really good at reading faces and reactions and sensing when something is not right, but some part of me is overly eager to assure myself that it's just my imagination.
> (And then later it always turns out that my instinct was right all along.)
> Besides, some INFP-ish part of me (?) always want to think the best of other people, so I can never get myself to suspect that other people are lying.


I get this too D: Like yur intuition sends you these distinctive vibes about a person, but when the vibes aren't necessarily positive, your optimistic perceiving side kicks in and your mind tries to censor the badness and give them the benefit of the doubt. 
But in the end, you find out your vibes were right :sad:
I have a really good INFP friend and he said this happens to him too.

I can pick up on things like sincerity, motivations, and honesty pretty darn easily but I don't bluntly point out that I do. It might just be a matter of maturity level, but I usually end up rolling with the optimism and sometimes that gets me hurt/in trouble. Some outside perspectives tell me "You're too gullable/didn't know better" but honestly, I did pick up on the person's nature from the start, I just decided not to judge them on it. 
It doesn't usually make me too sad though, cause I do find it interesting and refreshing getting to talk to people and see their minds, regardless of the vibes I get from them :wink:

I'm getting more of a grip on it all though. It's all just pretty strategic.


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## kibou

Great little NFP conversations here..I find at least with NFs the subconscious aspect of the conversation can be so powerful that what seems obvious to us can not be to the other person. But generally our ethics prevents us from judging too soon so we don't say what we're perceiving from the other person, and from experience we find if it's something we subconsciously pick up from the other person, it might not be obvious to them either, and possibly offend them to bring up. Also with NFPs I get the impression we are more geared toward unconventional, unagreed upon social & body signals while NFJs do better within the framework of the agreed upon customs? Maybe not? (I thought this might be an Fi-Fe difference)


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## Closet Extrovert

Sometimes, it depends on how well I know the person, or what I 'info' I can get from observing them. When I get an impression, I don't make a judgement immediately, I first observe the person and see if I still get the same impression about them after observing them awhile.


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## rocknroll_lover

Yeah, well I like to think that I'm able to, lol.


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## stillakidatheart

Kind of like books, I flip through a couple pages thoroughly and if there isn’t much, I don’t bother reading people. I’m not sure. I doubt my intuition that something is wrong and all. But then, I really like to know what/how/why people feel the way they do on certain things. Sometimes I get too absorbed, and it disappoints me as I think I can get too carried away with trying to observe people rather than just getting to know them. I observe a lot from people, strangers, acquaintances, but don’t interact much. When I am genuinely interested in a new/close friend, I find that I am able to read how they feel easily.


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## Random Ness

Nope. But I can make bad guesses.


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## Manhu

When introducing myself to a new person, I might completely miss his/her name when I'm focusing to all these movements, expressions and voice nuances. Then I have to apologize and ask their name again later, which can be embarrasing.
I can easily spot what is going on and start speaking accordingly in that situation. Sometimes I can just spot right away if I can or can not talk to this person fluently or if its going to be awkward.


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## remMUS

Not unless they have exposed tattoos that are words...


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## Lootosh

I'm a teenager and reading other people is what gets me through my day. I like to work out everything going on inside others minds. I've always found this to be the route of why I don't like many of them; they're so weak.


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## enigmawrappedinbacon

Artifice is particularly noticeable, or at least annoying  to me. Like when people are trying to manipulate others, trying to be seen in a certain way....blurgh. I might well not notice much of it but it bugs me when I do.

I think I have a decent handle on what people value in themselves/how they like to be perceived by others. And thus what I can compliment them on in front of other people to make them feel good, or say directly to them. (Not blowing smoke up skirts, not bullshitting, just social management when, for instance, socializing with a few people who don't know each other. Or when a friend is feeling depressed. I don't blow smoke and am always sincere with compliments and encouragement; it's the soft and fuzzy side of the double-edged sword of my ENTPness.)

I do fall short in figuring out who's a total asshole. I can get a sense of jerk-ness but never figure that it's as bad as it sometimes is. On the other hand, people don't usually try shit with me that they try with other people so I'm not exposed to the Dark Underbelly. (Dark Underbelly? Sure, let's say that's a phrase.  )


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## Strand

Its hard to read people like a book. The fact that people usually hides their emotions and preferences. If i try reading them, its just the same as interpreting them base only on what i know but not the truth.


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## noelani887

To a certain extent, but I'm also against judging people and don't want to act like I magically know everything about someone when I don't because that's douchey.


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## question my existence

Yes, I'm fairly good at reading people but some are harder to read than others. Generally they give off some sort of energy though and their eyes reveal a lot.


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## lifefullofwords

I can read people very well, although it's nothing like reading a book... I'm really not a fan of that idiom. Anyway, some people are easier to read than others, and obviously the longer you have known someone, the easier it is to read him or her. With people I'm really close to I can practically read their minds. Sometimes I'm more aware of other people's emotions than they are, which not everyone appreciates.


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## Hanaseru

I am not the best at reading people, but I'm certainly not the worst either.

I can pick up on some things, but not everything. I can also get a "feeling" of when I think somebody feels sad, but I don't always trust that feeling.


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## masterchip27

I like to think I read people well, but I am terrible at conveying myself to THEM!


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## Kysinor

I'm like grandmaster in detecting whenever people are good or not. If that is what you mean by reading people...


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## Asid_Reighn

Hahah reading others is easy, figuring out motives, behavioral patterns, reasoning's, etc.. But somehow I can never convey myself to them in return... So maybe its more of a curse than a gift. You become so aware of others actions and interpreting them, you become overly aware of your self and never know how to convey yourself in the way you desire.... It sucks!!!


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## TheAccursedShare

I would have to say that it is a talent I have been blessed with. But being the high-minded type that I am, I find myself generally finding fault more than grace. Something to work on.


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## Aradella

I know this first thread is fairly old, but I'd agree with kitten about false conclusions. I can say I read people really well, but who would argue my statement or be there to support this belief of mine?

What I'm saying is that if someone claims to be able to know another person without *really* getting to know them, how do you prove this is truly a skill of yours?



Kitten said:


> I try not to, because all books have endings, and I don't want there to be a "finish" point with the people I know - I'd rather get to know somebody by swimming in their sea rather than reading their book. :3
> 
> And I'm afraid that if I developed too much confidence in because about to "read people like books", that I'd start to develop false conclusions about people too quickly. ^^;;


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## register

After knowing people for some amount of time I become quite good at identifying when they are out of their groove, so to speak. Its like reading thier aura, but is really more just that i have built up an internal template of sorts for what "normal" is for that person, by constantly surveying thier emotional fluctuations and finding a steady state of sorts. 

From there I can deduce if they are sad or mad or some other more complex emotion, that makes them not look like thier norm, although I tend to be hesitant to mention it to them overtly-Instead I sort of give them more space or indirectly try and give them support, unless I know them very well.

I am quite good at watching other people's microfacial expressions and seeing things. So when someone walks by my office, I can quickly glance up and take there feeling tone at that moment. Stress or hurt are especially instant for me to perceive. It weighs on me, as I cant screen this stuff out, so am constantly absorbing others emotions-for this reason I like to avid highly emotional people myself.

I am very poor at deducing motives though, so I try very hard not to go there-Ne tends to assume the worst and by the time I was 20, I learned not to trust it's answers on other's motives. Instead I assume best intent and seek clarification when uncertain.


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## Asid_Reighn

I've only found one person I can't read and easily understand what he is thinking... And Oddly its this fact that made me love him.. But he always said I was mysterious and he ended up pushing me away because of this.... Odd but fair


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## dizzymeup

i can accurately discern and see things about and on people. i have dreams and nightmares that actually happen. it's happened since i was a young girl. i saw a psych who had me keep a dream journal because of this. people were freaked out. i'm not very great at judging though because i feel inner guilt. i might know something but override it simply because i feel bad because in my world everyone should be given a chance no matter what. it's hard to comprehend people being evil.


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## allthatglitters

Yeah i'm very good at reading people.
Firstly I pick up on 'vibes,' like a negative or positive energy that they emulate...
But I feel like I have to back it up rationally, so I would usually match this with the persons tone, body language, behaviours...


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