# Would you leave the one you love if you thought it was for their own good?



## Pete The Lich (May 16, 2011)

Yes :crying:


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## Bebito (Nov 26, 2012)

Dashing said:


> Did you guys agree on how long or just until you are ready again? Then again I don't know how I would handle a 'pause', probably worse than a true break-up. It's like you're being put on hold.
> 
> And for my situation... I'm not sure, I've probably fucked it up by waiting so long.


We did not agree on a date. Sometimes you can't put a date on things. I believe its only to late when one of the two dies. Looks like you need total closure.


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## ecstasy (Nov 5, 2012)

Bebito said:


> Some people just have an inability to make or commit to a decision.


It's just lack of willpower. Won't say I haven't been in the situation, but I accepted the consequences, and blamed no one but myself.


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## unINFalliPle (Jul 8, 2012)

No. Maybe that's selfish of me. But if I love, I love and I want to show that person. If they knew I wasn't for their own good, they could leave me. Maybe it depends on the situation. If the relationship was too destructive, I might. I've never left anyone before. I would try to be good for them. I'm thinking of the movies, where their life would be threatened if I didn't leave them or something. I think I'm a big fighter when it comes to the ones I love. But wouldn't that mean selfless caring? It depends. I believe my ex may have done this to me. There was destructiveness. I guess love conquers all. Just kidding. I'm being weird now.


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## BooksandButterflies (Jul 26, 2012)

*I'm not so good at that "tough love" stuff. If my husband were hurting my children, I'd leave him..in ICU! Otherwise, probably not.*


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## bales33 (Aug 8, 2012)

No I would not... it's that simple. It might be for their own good but if I loved them I would justify staying with this person.


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## Thief Noctis (Jan 6, 2012)

I voted no because it really just depends on the situation. If it was life or death then obviously, but if it was something like 'his friends don't approve of me and are making him choose' (with the result being he loses me or his friends) then no, unless it was his choice. There's a point where you love someone so much you just can't let them go.


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## Fukushim (Nov 29, 2012)

If I were completely sure about this I would leave them. It's just important to choose one option and live with it. It could be tough at first, but what doesn't kill us, certainly makes us stronger. In order to move on with our lives. Being a dreamer in this situation is, in a way, helpful as we can always create new visions in our minds. It's all in the mind.


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## Bebito (Nov 26, 2012)

In my case, our relationship has been put on a pause due to certain situations on my part that are emotionally killing my gf. I told her that I will resolve my issues as soon as I can so that we can be back together in full swing. She is an ISFJ so situations without out a definite end date are torturous to her. So imagine, a bf with a situation with no end date, and a pause with no end date. :*( 

Her family doesn't even recognize her. She is a shadow of her former self. She is going to therapy to learn to handle her emotional state. She spends all of her energy loving me, making love to me, ensuring that I am ok, but when the reality of my situation rises, she goes bonkers. 

She doesn't trust me as far as she can throw me. She always has a "gut feeling" on what I am doing which is always negative. She cries herself to sleep every night because things are not the way she envisioned it to be. She has a hard time accepting things. Her ideal man is a guy that comes home and stays home. I have a day job plus I am a working musician. I always have something to do and she doesn't like that. 

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving she was fighting with me about the situations. She told me that she envy her sister and she wishes I was like her sister's man who is the kind of guy she likes. She went on to other things and I got nervous, and when I get nervous, I smile. She smack the shit out of me during and we were at her sister's house. Thankfully, there was no one in the room when that happened. Hours later she apologized but I don't think she was really sorry about it.

Right there end then I had the feeling that I wanted to end it. I told myself that I will give her the best next few days we ever had then pause to fix what I need to fix. I did not know when I was going to do it though. She had the feeling that I was going to do this the Friday after Thanksgiving. 

We had a great Thanksgiving, and on Friday we went home. From Thursday-Sunday it was pure bliss. Nonstop "sex-a-thon," went to the movies, ate out, had a Breaking Bad marathon. Go to sleep cuddling and wake up cuddling. Love. No fighting, cross words, or disagreements. All was good. 

Then on Sunday I had that feeling again. Nothing had sparked it. I just knew it was time. Around 8PM I got the feeling and I was really sad. She asked me what was wrong and of course I told her I was ok. I was dying on the inside. We were playing Scrabble and when it was over I wanted to play again. I knew what I was going to do. We went to her room and thats when I told her. The look on her face is forever burned into my memory. 

She said "you are going to do this now right before the holidays?" and other things.....

So you see, I believe what I did was for the greater good. In my eyes, once my situations are totally cleared, we can worry about things such as what is for dinner and where and when is my next public gig. I believe I did the right thing, even it hurts a lot.


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

Yes. I've done this before.


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## Danah (Sep 15, 2012)

Very difficult question... I'll go for no.
I would if I was sure we're wrong for each other, but I wouldn't just leave or lie about why. I'd talk with him about it.
Also if he wanted to leave, I'd wish him happiness and let him go, even if it'd be painful.

If I love someone and they have feelings for me too I don't give up, doesn't matter what gets in our way. Feelings are more important than any seeming obstacle; if two are in love there MUST be a way to be together, if we can't see it's only because we didn't look well enough yet.


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