# Introversion: How would you describe that 'socially drained' feeling?



## Falling Leaves (Aug 18, 2011)

After any extended period of socialisation, my brain just shuts down. I will just lie on my bed and cry about nothing in particular. Or get hung up on something stupid and mull it over and over and over and over. Or both. Ho-hum. 

I don't know, I just feel really tired, anxious and sad if I flex my social muscles too much. God damn, I fucking love being alone. 

How would other introverts describe their introversion?


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## Wellsy (Oct 24, 2011)

There's been nights out with friends that go for hours, like we start of around 6-7pm but it'l end at 3am somewhere.
Some of nights I crash hard and I have ended up just sitting down blanked, when people try and talk to me I barely elicit a response. 
Generally after such nights I kind of hate social interaction for a week before I return to about normal, I feel like I spend the energy allocated to the rest of the week all in one night.

In this state I just get snappy to sound and people wanting to talk.


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## Afterburner (Jan 8, 2013)

> God damn, I fucking love being alone.


This.


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## TurtleQueen (Nov 8, 2014)

When I was happier, I had a lot more energy to do things. I could go out and do things that I wanted to do, but I would often want a little bit of time for myself after I had been around a bunch of people for a few hours. I didn't feel like jumping from being around people at school to being around other people, even if I lived with them. I'd like a little break, and then I could feel good about socializing. The only difference between me and my more extroverted mom and sister was this little break I would need. I liked going out and doing stuff but only if I thought it had a possibility of being more fun than usual. My mom and sister describe actually enjoying going out shopping for some mundane chore (like going with someone to buy groceries or pick up dinner). I guess I just don't like going out for the sake of going out. It has always made me feel a little tired even if I enjoyed the experience. I don't understand the point in going out unless it's going to be fun, but I guess other people are actually energized by going out even for something that doesn't seem to be intrinsically fun.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

I just feel tired and constrained like I need to get out.


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## Draki (Apr 4, 2014)

I would describe it as feeling very tired physically while you're with other people and as soon as you're alone you're happy and full of energy. But if you would go out to the others you would be tired again. 
I sometimes really think I'm tired when I'm around people and think that I'll go to bed immediately when I'm finally at home but when I'm alone the energy comes back very quickly. 

I also noticed that it's stressful to be outside or with other people. I don't notice it directly but the more time I spend with or around other people the more I feel tired, just wanna be alone and even really start to hate everything/everyone.


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## Wellsy (Oct 24, 2011)

I would also throw in that people I like least tend to be people who make me more tired and I think this is in part because I may not be as comfortable being my natural self and expend great deal censoring and considering things before doing them as to avoid exposing myself to unwanted judgment. 
So with people I like I can extend a great deal more time with but sometimes I tend to think it might also be because its so constant, like my example from 7pm to 3am, that's constant hours. Even days at work get a bloody break XD I sometimes feel like that's maybe a strategy that would help me if I could just take 30 mins somewhere quiet and return.


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## Psithurism (Jun 19, 2013)

I can talk with someone for hours if the connection is there. My social introversion is more related to high stimulation environments (lots of noises or socializing with too many people/small talk), where I tend to start to withdraw in my thoughts to feel more comfortable. Or retreat back home for quiet time of course.

I should add I feel I've improved in this area a bit these past years. Not sure why.


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## TurtleQueen (Nov 8, 2014)

My introversion attitude is, "I like you, but bye."

Other details: It's more draining to deeply engage with lots of people and really pay attention (like being in a discussion class). When you care more about the interaction or might talk occasionally, it's a lot more draining than being really quiet. I have no issue just sitting there listening to people talk about stuff if I don't think I would have anything to contribute to a conversation. Going to a bunch of places in one day is draining. I'm not sure if it was talking to people or going places that drained me when I trained to be a journalist. The more I'm responsible for going somewhere (driving or arranging some kind of transportation), the more I feel drained. Lots of lights and sounds with lots of people can be draining. At a concert, I don't have to interact with anyone very deeply, but I still feel drained afterwards. A job can be draining because you have to talk to people, act in a way that will make people like you, deal with any annoying stuff about the job or people and stay "pleasant," walk around in clothes that might be uncomfortable, and actually manage to get some work done despite all the other stuff. LOL :wink:


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## perpetuallyreticent (Sep 24, 2014)

Depends on who I'm with. If I like the people I'm with, I just get quiet and stop socializing and fall back on going into my own head while others are talking and doing their thing. If I'm with people that are just draining in general and I'm _okay_ being around them, I can start feeling very critical of the people around me and sort of cynical. But the main thing is, is I just stop involving myself with everything that's happening around me. I don't make any extra effort to 'get out', unless I'm really desperate for alone time/to be in my own, comfortable surroundings.

One example of this was when I went out really late with a friend and her boyfriend. We drank some, stayed up until 3-4am and all that jazz. The next day I had no ride home. They didn't want to 'waste the gas' and I was stuck there for 2 nights and 2 1/2 days. It was awful. By the second day in the evening I was beyond ready to go home and I just stopped talking with the people around me and complained here and there. They kept wanting to cheer me up, but I insisted I was fine and just wished I could go home and relax.

Never. Again.

Once I got home I felt great, though. Just really exhausted.


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## Rice (Apr 27, 2014)

I feel physically drained. I get tired, my head hurts, I'm tense and stressed, I have less control over my emotions and I get crabby and whiny and generally not fun to be around after a certain point. I get the same way to a certain degree when I try to have multiple conversations online at the same time. I just get overwhelmed and stressed out and want to get away from everyone.


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## sassysquid (Jul 16, 2014)

It's the feeling of wanting to go home, to my room, where my comfy bed is. I just want to get away from any and all external stimuli, and I can't really think of any clever things to say at all. If it happens when I'm around others, I completely withdraw and only really input when I'm required to. This usually leads to a lot of "are you okay?" questions, which make the situation worse. This doesn't happen when I'm with my best friend, though. Because I feel like she is an extension of myself, she does not drain my energy. She is inside my energy bubble. My best friend is an INFJ.


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## 121689 (Jun 21, 2014)

Hmm, I find when my energy bar is drained, I completely zone out and become sort of robotic-like; going through the motions. I can still talk with people and be around them if I need to, but I'm nowhere in the present time or place . It is pretty draining physically. Then a day or 3 to recharge, and I'm fine again, usually XD.


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## Bahburah (Jul 25, 2013)

Just wanting to chill and be left alone.

That doesn't necessarily mean I have to be out of company, just not expected to be anything.


I just want to be able to sit there and just be, without being asked if I'm bored, upset, told I look lost, or whatever.

I also start to zone out and just want to focus on one thing.


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## Sonny (Oct 14, 2008)

As a withdrawn type who craves a lot of solitude despite being extroverted and it draining me I see it as the same kind of issue in both directions, just with opposite needs.

I liken it to quicksand, the lack of external stimulation for extroverts or lack of solitude for introverts starts to feel like sinking in quicksand when the need to re-energise isn't being met, everything becomes harder to move in, if one is unable to re-energise via stimulation/solitude you will eventually be engulfed and too lethargic to be able to function at all.


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## Kavik (Apr 3, 2014)

My worst point of being socially drained was freshman year when I was stuck in social hell. AKA a dorm with paper thin walls and a potluck roommate who was an extreme extrovert. I was in the dorm for a year and during that time I could never get away from all the random people, ever. I started having insomnia, breakouts, bloat, headaches, bouts of severe rage and depression/breakdowns, and I was constantly unhappy and making everyone's lives around me miserable. Hell is a tame word for the experience. It wasn't even the classes or the fact I was in a new place that stressed me out. As soon as I got my own apartment all of that went away and I become normal again.

NORMALLY I just get a little cranky and have an urge to find a quiet place.


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## outofplace (Dec 19, 2012)

When I've been in a social situation for more than a couple of hours, I start to get really irritable and begin to snap at people for little things. That's when I know it's my cue to leave and go home to recharge.


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## 45130 (Aug 26, 2012)

Wellsy said:


> Generally after such nights I kind of hate social interaction for a week before I return to about normal, I feel like I spend the energy allocated to the rest of the week all in one night.


Yep, that.


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## boogiestomp (Jan 7, 2014)

It's that moment of feeling like you've just finished taking the SAT and you don't want to think or move.


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## Coopsickle (Sep 12, 2014)

I get a head ache and very short tempered. I get really tired and tend to be even more flippant and dismissive than normal.. in fact I just become quite rude really. I can't even bring myself to be polite once I have been around people too long, especially when they want to talk to me... I give very short answers and wont look at them at all. I usually leave at this point (or hopefully before) and go and sit somewhere silent, like in my car in the middle of no where. By that point I'm just frustrated and tired, I just need to chill before I go to bed otherwise I will be a bitch in the morning.

I generally don't go out really... maybe once every 3 or 4 months but I get like this at work a lot.


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## Bahburah (Jul 25, 2013)

Kavik said:


> My worst point of being socially drained was freshman year when I was stuck in social hell. AKA a dorm with paper thin walls and a potluck roommate who was an extreme extrovert. I was in the dorm for a year and during that time I could never get away from all the random people, ever. I started having insomnia, breakouts, bloat, headaches, bouts of severe rage and depression/breakdowns, and I was constantly unhappy and making everyone's lives around me miserable. Hell is a tame word for the experience. It wasn't even the classes or the fact I was in a new place that stressed me out. As soon as I got my own apartment all of that went away and I become normal again.
> 
> NORMALLY I just get a little cranky and have an urge to find a quiet place.



That sounds like absolute hell. I always think about this when considering moving out with roommates. They would have to be just as introverted as me, since even some people that are typed as introverts still want you be be active around them.

I feel for you. Home is the introverts sanctuary and shouldn't be invaded by so many extroverts lol.

They probably thought you hated them, and I'm sure at times that was slightly true.


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## kannbrown (Oct 3, 2014)

Literally tired, feeling trapped and trying to find the exit. Sometimes I can find something to occupy my brain so I can sort of create a 'bubble' around me like I'm alone...if people LEAVE me ALONE, that is. I get more and more monosyllabic in my answers if they keep trying to talk to me....polite, but barely.


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## 1000BugsNightSky (May 8, 2014)

I usually don't feel drained if I am enjoying with some friends, but I do need time alone every once in a while. I love privacy and need some time to be to myself.


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

my brain goes numb
my temper short
exhausted 
senses become sensitive to the point of light&sound become very painful


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## kal.liope (Nov 9, 2014)

I can't tell that I don't like social interactions. I have few close friends and I really enjoy the quality time spent with them BUT I really need to protect my space, even when I'm involved in social situations. I hate when people force me to say something or require to extend my statement. I immediately close in myself and need to retreat. 
I think mt introversion is also recognized in my preferable way of rest. I gather energy from myself in the adorable silence of my home. I'm the most productive and creative when I alone just because my thoughts are not intruded by others.


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## DemonD (Jun 12, 2012)

Like claustrophobia, but for the brain. The more I am around people, especially socially, the more trapped I feel.

People block my natural thought outlet, which causes problems when the system starts overloading.

Different people block different amount. I could hang out with my friend for an entire day without much problem(some, but not much). An annoying or socially oppressive person can drive me to the brink of insanity within the hour.


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## Kavik (Apr 3, 2014)

Bahburah said:


> That sounds like absolute hell. I always think about this when considering moving out with roommates. They would have to be just as introverted as me, since even some people that are typed as introverts still want you be be active around them.
> 
> I feel for you. Home is the introverts sanctuary and shouldn't be invaded by so many extroverts lol.
> 
> They probably thought you hated them, and I'm sure at times that was slightly true.


I wish I could apologize to those people, especially my roommate. They didn't deserve my wrath. I bet they did think I hated them and did not understand why I was so on edge and acting like a caged animal all the time. 

The home really is the introvert's sanctuary. I couldn't even relax in the dorm room because I knew my roommate could walk in at any moment, I couldn't stop them. The space wasn't really mine so I was always uneasy and unable to recharge.

I know what you mean, too. Compatible roommates are really hard to find and often you don't get the luxury of choice. I always wish people the best of luck with finding one.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

@Falling Leaves 

It seems to me like all that "external chatter" cuts you off from your own _internal dialogue_. That's what really keeps introverts grounded and energized, doesn't it?


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## Bahburah (Jul 25, 2013)

tanstaafl28 said:


> @_Falling Leaves_
> 
> It seems to me like all that "external chatter" cuts you off from your own _internal dialogue_. That's what really keeps introverts grounded and energized, doesn't it?



Wow thats so true, I never realized that but yes.
If I can freely do that then I can be around people for longer.


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## Aerosong (Nov 1, 2014)

It just feels like exhaustion, you cant think, or respond well to conversation anymore, you get withdrawn and depressed, a migraine develops. Suddenly you wish everybody would just shut their freaking mouths and die or something. If you can't go be alone after you start feeling this, prolonged overexposure makes you feel like you have a rage bubble of screaming insanity that could come out at any moment, you snap at people, you can't help the asshole comments that keep coming out since you no longer have the mental energy to beat around the bush with things like tact and niceties, pillowing people's feelings. 
You have to control the urge to slap people and it gets pretty hard, you might cry or scream out of discomfort and frustration, anger. You might actually say to everyone "OMG GTF AWAY FROM ME! /STFU/LEAVE ME ALONE, JESUS CHRIST." 
And your friends just think youre a psychotic selfish bitch who needs serious help.


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## Sourpuss (Aug 9, 2014)

It's a building anxiousness. Eventually I feel suffocated by the need to conform to social expectations, by the need to hide my true self. My imagination and thoughts are all constrained in a social setting because not only do I have to keep them inside, but I can't even devote all my attention to them. I have to focus on everyone and everything else, which is difficult because I'm no good at it anyway.

So when I finally get home and I can just relax and be myself it is a great relief.


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## Falling Leaves (Aug 18, 2011)

tanstaafl28 said:


> @_Falling Leaves_
> 
> It seems to me like all that "external chatter" cuts you off from your own _internal dialogue_. That's what really keeps introverts grounded and energized, doesn't it?


To be honest, it feels like I abandon my internal dialogue to focus on other people, the external realm. 

It feels like I'm letting go a little part of myself to do that. 

So when I retreat, my head is all like 'wtf are you doing?'


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Falling Leaves said:


> To be honest, it feels like I abandon my internal dialogue to focus on other people, the external realm.
> 
> It feels like I'm letting go a little part of myself to do that.
> 
> So when I retreat, my head is all like 'wtf are you doing?'


And without that internal dialogue, you have no energy, you're not grounded. It's like pulling the plug; or draining the batteries?


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## the_natrix (Aug 10, 2011)

What does it feel like? You know that scene in the first star wars movie (episode IV) where obi-wan is sneaking around the death star and he deactivates the tractor beam? You know that sound it makes? It's feels sorta like that.


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## ScientiaOmnisEst (Oct 2, 2013)

@tanstaafl28 and @Falling Leaves, I don't know about anyone else here, but you two have pretty much described my introversion. When I have to interact with others, I have to cut off my inner dialogue and focus on the other person in a way that's both frustrating and anxiety-inducing for me. It's actually pretty difficult for me to access my thoughts properly again while interacting, nothing flows mentally the way it does when I'm alone, which may even have something to do with why I'm so articulate in my head but stumble over sentences when speaking aloud.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Cutting off inner dialogue seems to be no problem. One dominates over another. Until the cord is cut and one is silenced. It returns after the other is silenced. It entirely depends on how much energy I already have and how invested I am in either location from which things taken to be processed.


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## AriesLilith (Jan 6, 2013)

In my case, while I enjoy socializing with interesting people, if I feel too drained I start to be less energetic and engaging, starting to space out and be less talkative (specially if in a group), then head starts to hurt and it starts to feel physically tiresome, then I get moody and less patient. 

I do need my own time to charge and such and without it I can get snappy. Sometimes I need a sleep, sometimes just spacing out in my head, alone, or even comfortably laid on my bed and daydream.


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## Ritual (Sep 17, 2013)

I don't socialise much at all, when I do, I'm usually doing something else anyway and the conversations don't last long, (unless I'm talking to an INTP then oh boy), I don't really get drained because the conversations are so short.


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## visionaryspirit (Nov 24, 2014)

When I'm going out with friends or having a party till early morning, there usually comes a point after several hours where I don't feel like talking to people anymore and all I feel like doing is heading home and unwinding for the night. If I don't go home soon after my energy diminishes, I'll start to become impatient and even sound irritated or rushed if someone tries to talk to me.


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## aendern (Dec 28, 2013)

Like my brain is a battery and socializing with others takes up charge. And when the charge runs out, I'm not a happy person.

I can't think on low charge. I can't make decisions. I can't even decide what I want to eat until I can just be alone.

Caffeine and alcohol help, though.


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## Ode to Trees (Aug 25, 2011)

Mental exhaustion mostly, and an unsettling feeling of anxiety. Mental fatigue feels different and worse to me than the physical one. When I am physically exhausted, I can rest better and get some sleep. When I am mentally exhausted, my brain is too stimulated to get the rest I need. Also, during socializing or just by being in an energetic and loud environment for a prolonged time, I suffer from a cognitive fog. It is a strange feeling of getting checked out from reality. I feel like I am in a middle of a tornado, and I cannot focus on simplest of tasks. This had happened to me in an overly noisy workplace. I also cannot stand taking for a long time, for example, a holding a lecture after lecture after lecture. Literally, I get tired of hearing myself speak. 
My memories of earliest childhood experiences are always about how something made me feel, not so much about the details of events. I remember being overwhelmed in kindergarten and barricading myself with a lot of chairs in the corner of a large room filled with annoying noises of other children's banter and crying.


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## DemonD (Jun 12, 2012)

DemonD said:


> *Like claustrophobia, but for the brain. The more I am around people, especially socially, the more trapped I feel.*
> 
> People block my natural thought outlet, which causes problems when the system starts overloading.
> 
> Different people block different amount. I could hang out with my friend for an entire day without much problem(some, but not much). An annoying or socially oppressive person can drive me to the brink of insanity within the hour.


Since this post(late 2014) I have sort of realized that the bolded is not due to my _introversion_ but more due to _social anxiety_.


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## islandlight (Aug 13, 2013)

I've only read about half of this long thread, but I identify with most of what's being said. 

I'm currently in a roommate situation. My understanding when I moved in was that I would have a lot of privacy in my part of the house, but as it turns out, people are in my face more than I expected. At first I was able to shrug things off and rationalize that this was just part of living with people, they don't mean any harm, etc. But then I reached a point where I don't even want to leave my room because I might have to smile or talk to someone. I've stopped using the area where I used to exercise, so my health is suffering.

I feel overwhelmed, hopeless, and victimized. Almost immobilized. I want to hide or run away. I have signs of depression (stay in bed, don't shower, etc.) that I didn't have before I moved in here. 

This is really bad for me, but I can't expect any of these people to understand, even though they used to be people who cared about my well being, and if you asked them now they would probably still say they care about me. All I do is think about saving enough money so I can get my own place and shut the door.

By the way, thank you for reading!


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## GoodOldDreamer (Sep 8, 2011)

It's like on Thanksgiving, where in the morning, you're getting together with friends and family, having a good time. But then at lunch you pig out on turkey, so by mid-afternoon you're really ready for a nap. The energy drain is like that, where at first you're having a good time around others, and as it goes on and on you notice more and more you're ready for a recharge.

Then like when you lie down for a nap, when you're by yourself you start gaining your energy back. That's kinda how I see it anyways. For me, I have social anxiety too, so I see myself as something similar to an old cell phone with a worn out battery, lol. My energy drains faster than the newer models. :tongue:


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## Rascal01 (May 22, 2016)

Socializing completely runs against my personal grain. It is a strain to be endured, most often forced by circumstance. Having to endure what is most heartily disliked negatively impacts my attitude. To be civil during artificial socializing requires a false front, which in and of itself is an unpleasant strain that, in turn, drains the spirit.

All I have ever asked or sought is to be left alone in peace and quiet. It is a simple goal difficult to attain. All I need is companionship with a woman who has brains, heart and an introverted personality.


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## Afterburner (Jan 8, 2013)

@DemonD I realized my anxieties fuel a lot of what I attributed to introversion too.

Also, what a necro lol. Very uncomfy seeing my posts from years ago. Thankfully I said almost nothing here


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## Moo Rice (Apr 9, 2018)

little to no time for introspection, feeling obligated to keep up with too many irrelevant and uninteresting conversations, not knowing when i'm supposed to speak... all these things just get my brain overworked due to too much external stimuli.

i'm sure this is more of a social anxiety thing, but all the times i _had_ to go to parties (weddings, close friend's birthdays, my own birthday) or any crowded place i ended up dizzy, breathless and nauseated. this wasn't much of a problem when i was a child, since i could just fall asleep next to my parents/relatives until they decide to take me home, but after growing up i didn't have other options except throwing up and leaving before everyone else. i think that's the main reason why i avoid any "big" social event.
i'm not sure of what exactly causes those reactions, but i would guess it's the noise, too many voices at once hurt my head and disorientate me.


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## series0 (Feb 18, 2013)

To me the central truth of introversion is based soundly in the emotion of fear. Do not be put off by this assessment. Fear is fully 1/3 of love in my opinion and the entire source of order, and thinking. 

Fear is a pattern matching mandate. It focuses on the past and thus places its user in reactive mode, rather than active mode. The fearful are the done to, not the doers. As such, stimulus are necessarily more overwhelming to introverts, to fear types, than they are to anger and desire types. It is rather obvious if you think about it (but don't let it stress you out, lol). 

One of the big issues with fear is that it is an mandate as a style. It is always struggling to analyze ... EVERYTHING. Further, as mentioned by many in this and other threads, this mandate causes a predilection towards cutting off the input, in every way. This means denial of interest in many cases, which expands then into critique and dismissal. It leads to the innate duplicity of fear, simultaneously engaged and excited by any and all stimulus and frightened by all stimulus as well. Fear and desire both are disingenuous emotions. Fear is made so in an obvious way, by living in and coming from the past, rather than staying present. Of course, this has certain advantages, but to learn, to earn wisdom about the struggle, about suffering, we focus wisely on the ways in which our talents and predilections fail us.

Fear is also quite ordered. It is the source of order or vice versa, that distinction hardly matters. Order keeps trying to capture and contain it all. That effort, containment, is vastly more difficult than the live and let live honest of anger, or even the anything goes freedom of desire. These truths result in fear costing its user MORE effort and in a net feeling of fear as a lessening emotion. So the perverse status of the fearful is hyper-aware and proud of that fact, as well as possessed of an acute need to deflect the fear in order not to feel lessened by cowardice. 

Fear is a lessening emotion, especially at low functioning levels. It is the most maligned of the three major emotions because of this lessening feeling, because of cowardice. In truth fear is JUST an excited state, but again, that state is costly and draining. Hence the feeling many people have of being drained over time. Further this draining is exacerbated in the presence of ... presence, e.g. anger, and in the presence of chaos the diametric opposite of fear as order. Again, when you actually honestly consider these things, it is quite obvious. 

Amid social circles, all fear types and indeed introverts are indeed shunned a little. They are seen as a type of poison pill to the situation. Of course mature people do not do this, but unless you are tight friends with another young or immature extrovert (or non fear type) I promise you, you will be the victim of social shunning. Fear is most closely related to the self preservation essence. 

All in all these personality systems cross into each other and overlap very well and quite a bit. 

That draining feeling is ACTUALLY being drained from reacting over and over again to fear.


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## Ode to Trees (Aug 25, 2011)

There are indications that brains of introverts are neurologically different from brains of extroverts which might explain why introverts do not need as much social interaction and exhaust mentally after prolonged socializing. These are indications, and more research is certainly needed. However, the fact that more research is required does not mean that one should stop with further research. It would be very counterintuitive to explain the differences between introverted and extroverted individuals in a simplistic fashion.

https://www.medicaldaily.com/brain-introvert-compared-extrovert-are-they-really-different-299064



> In 2005, researchers concluded in a study that it all might be linked to dopamine — the reward system in the brains of extroverts responded differently than those of introverts. In the study, researchers used a brain scanner to examine responses from participants who were doing a gambling task. They found that when gambling brought positive results, the extroverts exhibited a stronger response in two regions of the brain: the amygdala and the nucleus accumbens, showing that they processed surprise and reward differently than introverts. If extroverts responded more strongly to gambling paying off, they probably would respond more strongly to adventures, social challenges, or taking risks.
> 
> A 2012 study completed by Randy Buckner of Harvard University discovered that introverts tended to have larger, thicker gray matter in their prefrontal cortex — a region of the brain that is linked to abstract thought and decision-making — while extroverts had less gray matter. Buckner concluded that this might be accountable for introverts’ tendencies to sit in a corner and ponder things thoroughly before making a decision, and extroverts’ ability to live in the moment and take risks without fully thinking everything through (which has its cons and benefits, of course).


Also,

from
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-secret-lives-introverts/201708/why-socializing-drains-introverts-more-extroverts



> And socializing is actually draining for everyone eventually, according to a recent study. Researchers found that after three hours after socializing, participants reported higher levels of fatigue. Surprisingly, these effects were found to be hold for both introverts and extroverts. This makes sense, because socializing expends energy: You have to talk, listen, and process what’s being said, among other things.
> 
> Nevertheless, there are some very real differences between introverts and extroverts, and these differences come down to how they respond to rewards. Rewards are things like getting the phone number of an attractive stranger, getting promoted at work, or even eating a delicious meal.
> 
> According to the experts I spoke with when writing my book, The Secret Lives of Introverts, *extroverts have a more active dopamine reward system than introverts. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that helps control the brain’s pleasure and reward centers. Having a more active dopamine reward system means that extroverts get more energized and excited by the possibility of reward than introverts. *So extroverts are more driven to strike up a conversation with a stranger or hang out at the bar until last call.


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

When I am tired of being social, I either cease talking in the social setting or I get myself away from the social setting.

I think I would describe the feeling as "filled up." I have no more room for more, and I can't take anymore in if I try.


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## Aarya (Mar 29, 2016)

Rather than being "full", I feel more drained up.

It can happen with animals too... I went as a volunteer to this rescue center with some very bad cases. I felt so sorry for those poor souls. At some point though I felt this huge drain from all the dogs around me. It's not a joke... I'm pretty sure if one's not careful it might not end up well. I consider myself rather healthy though so as soon as I realised I started feeling weird I put myself back on track, was a matter of seconds I believe. But the sudden realisation was there. They wanted to be loved, they wanted attention, they seemed so deprived, despite the many people visiting the center.

You just sense that... but it's ok as long as you understand that to be able to help others giving in itself must be done... rationally. There must be some sort of boundaries and respect. Working as a high-school cover t. I also used to feel so tired, I decided it's not for me for the long run. Godo as experience only xD


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## L P (May 30, 2017)

When I'm talking to and dealing with other people I have to put off all the things that I want to personally do, that can't be done with others, like reading an article, playing a single player game, watching a video on a topic that is interesting to me but might not be to them, or drawing, if they don't draw it might not work, and if they watch you draw they might either get bored or ask questions which stop your train of thought when drawing. And when talking to other people I also have to put off reflecting on my own thoughts, which help keeps me sane. When I am alone I can do all these things that have been building up all day but unaddressed because I have had to entertain folks around me, and I can do these things without dealing with judgments of others thinking that I am weird or disagreeing with me, I can listen to music that people might think is weird or watch shows that people I know might not be into, without having to explain myself either, which is the best part, I can just BE. And the sensation simply feels like release, I can release the hold on all the things I have been putting off when around other folks, and just be natural, do what I want to do without any explanation or folks questioning me, (ew you play that game, ew you listen to that, ew you like that show) Shut up and leave!
There are times where I listen to african choir music because it's so beautiful, while I am at home alone, that shit would raise eyebrows for some folks, and has when I pulled it up in front of a friend, in that moment I instantly want that friend to gtfo lol. I have also danced to music in the dark in my house when alone, that shit would raise eyebrows, I don't want o have to hold that back in fear that it would raise eyebrows, there are no eyebrows to raise when I am by myself, just me and my impulses and its freaking great. I like to daydream too, and I can't do that if someone is talking to me. This is the reason I hate people coming over unnoticed, I will have impulses that I want to satisfy, and then knock knock someone comes over and I have to hold in all these impluses to entertain said folk, I don't dislike the person, though they may think that from my look of disappointment lol, but I definitely did want to just binge watch anime all day and here is my friend that loves football who decided to come over, and he wants to talk about God knows what. Thanks, when can you leave so I can watch anime, no I don't hate you, no I'm not kicking you out, but, when are you leaving? Ok great. We can hang out tomorrow though if you want. Leaves then calls me on the phone in the middle of an episode. :/


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