# Isn't there any place to interact safely, in this world or the real one?



## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

If there is, I would like to go there. Is there any refuge for people too sensitive to deal with others who aren't? We should buy an island.


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## T-Guy (Nov 4, 2008)

I'm pretty sure there is no such place Snail. Whenever there are a group of people, someone is bound to hurt others unintentionally because each of us is different and not everyone can agree on everything.


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## Ikari T (Nov 1, 2008)

there is, because there are such people out there. The only thing left to do is to organize a group of people that are like that and have the money to be able to travel to a specified place where we can meet up.


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## NephilimAzrael (Oct 26, 2008)

No place is ever totally safe. Regardless of the ideal scenario, one cannot always maintain a non-conflicting community. You can try, and I hope ye do. It would be an honourable attempt.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

Every utopia inevitably fails. My mother burned that into my brain when I was little. She had already done the research because she had been hoping for the same thing all of her life. It would still be worth trying, because there is more honor in failure than in giving up before an attempt is ever made.


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## Ikari T (Nov 1, 2008)

I still think it's very possible. You just need to organize a group. If each of us will chip in some money, we can make it happen. THINK INFINITE POSSIBILITIES PEOPLE. Don't let logic and reality blur it. With that negative thinking, nothing can be achieved. You think those Breast Cancer donation organizations just pop out of nowhere? 

Also, a good example of a specific refuge is called the Mensa Group, or something like that. They allow people over 130 IQ to meet in groups. That's one. It sounds bizarre, but it exists in multiple towns within the states. That's not impossible now is it? 

So to answer your questions, yes, it is 100% possible to have such a refuge. We can make it happen. 

We don't need to buy an island though...that's too much money. We need a good budget.


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## T-Guy (Nov 4, 2008)

Who's is going to be in charge of this? Who is going to set and enforce the rules when you get there? If everyone is so sensitive to others' opinions, then nothing will get accomplished.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

If you are willing to take charge of the planning, I will participate. I'm not much of a leader, but I have a valid dream to pursue. Thank you for giving me hope, Ikari T.


T-Guy, I'm sure there will be plenty of highly sensitive INFJs and other organized types there to plan things. People who care about the feelings of others almost always have internalized value systems and do not require laws or enforcement. I ignore laws and live according to what I feel is right. I do not require a fear of artificially imposed consequences to keep me in line because I attempt to be kind out of love for others.


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## cryptonia (Oct 17, 2008)

quite honestly... sensitivity trumps rules. At least the ones I think you mean.

that said... what do you even mean by sensitivity? My first thought on reading this was "sigh... someday, if I haven't already I want to find a way to show you that you don't have to be sensitive to be good," but I'm only insensitive depending on what you mean by the word.


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## NephilimAzrael (Oct 26, 2008)

One word fault T-Guy: ENFORCE.
This is problematic to begin with, if you wish for a safe and non-caustic society, enforcement and coercion need to be a primary moot point. 
Mediative agents can be called in to settle disputes. I refer my point to Irish pre-Imperial order.. Brehon Law.


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## Ikari T (Nov 1, 2008)

snail said:


> T-Guy, I'm sure there will be plenty of highly sensitive INFJs and other organized types there to plan things.


Yeah, let the INFJs do all the work...I mean...let's all organize this..."refuge". roud:


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

Okay. We can organize it together. I was just letting the ESTJ know that some of the J types would have a place there.


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## NephilimAzrael (Oct 26, 2008)

Begs Administer to Brehon Law!!


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## T-Guy (Nov 4, 2008)

Ok, what happens when there are two different values amongst this group of people who want to respect others' values. Which value is the group going to choose when there is a dispute?


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## Happy (Oct 10, 2008)

The only Utopia that never fails is heaven.roud:


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## Ikari T (Nov 1, 2008)

T-Guy said:


> Ok, what happens when there are two different values amongst this group of people who want to respect others' values. Which value is the group going to choose when there is a dispute?


Whenever there's a group effort. Everybody would have to give up a little of something in order to work together. Otherwise, any organizations simply fall apart. This refuge, however, would only include similar people. Sure everyone's different, but I'm pretty sure the situation can be easily compromised. We're not there to achieve anything. It's just a social gathering.


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## T-Guy (Nov 4, 2008)

Oh like a trip?


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## Ninja Nem (Oct 19, 2008)

Again, I have to agree with T-Guy's thoughts on this. Such a place, like any utopia, would fail. Even if all the inhabitants of the "island" were all similar there would still be differences and disagreements among them. Not everybody shares the same thoughts or opinions as everyone else, if they did, then the world would be a pretty bland place. These differences are what makes the world go round, not everybody agreeing all the time and avoiding stepping on people's feelings. Sometimes the feelings of others have to be hurt to get a message across or make a point because otherwise some people just would never get it.


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## Ikari T (Nov 1, 2008)

T-Guy said:


> Oh like a trip?


Yes. Mostly, we'll meet in a central area where all of us are travelling at a fair distance.


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## T-Guy (Nov 4, 2008)

I suppose, a one day trip could work


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

Being excluded isn't a punishment. Of course I would allow someone to see a sick friend if that were the person's purpose for visiting. I do believe in making exceptions when it is appropriate because of special circumstances. I don't intend to punish anyone. I just want to be able to avoid people who have a natural tendency to behave in ways that are harmful to me, and I would like to live among others who understand and share my needs. I'm not talking about throwing the people off of the planet for being less easily affected by things. I'm not saying that such people shouldn't exist. I'm just asking for a refuge, because they can be overwhelming and destructive for people like me.


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## NephilimAzrael (Oct 26, 2008)

Then it is an isolated refuge. Such a place is a retreat rather than a commune. I get what you mean now. But still, kicking others out is not so easy if their opinions cannot be wavered. Sensitives would find themselves hiding away again.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

NephilimAzrael said:


> Some that have low levels of compassion can be rather sympathetic also. Though they do not feel the pain of others, they understand how they feel, they merely attempt to help through alternative means.


I see no reason why people like that would be excluded, as long as they were willing to cooperate and play along. If you are arguing for the rights of the T types, who lack empathy but have plenty of sympathy to make up for it, I'm sure there could be such people on my island. I could allow them according to their behavior. I know that some T types, especially the INTPs and INTJs, can get overwhelmed sometimes, and might benefit from a refuge.


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## NephilimAzrael (Oct 26, 2008)

Well you can have your Island.. I have my island - Ireland, thats right its MINE. :tongue:


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

Fine. I've never been to Ireland, but I suppose you can have it. As ruler over all things, I give you permission to claim it. :tongue:


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## Happy (Oct 10, 2008)

Ya. It really does sound more like an island retreat. hehe. Maybe you should save up your money and purchase a small island. In the Philippines, there are 1000's of islands for sale.:wink:


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

I just might. It would be worth it, if I could make it work, but what I really want is a long-term living situation that offered opportunities for deep bonding experiences with like-minded people. I wouldn't want it to be a temporary retreat. I think I'd want it to be an actual community for people who share my special needs.


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## Ikari T (Nov 1, 2008)

Wow, Snail wasn't looking for a fight, or debate. Stop harrassing her. :dry:


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## slowriot (Nov 11, 2008)

Many have tried but few have succeded. I like the idea, but human nature and some peoples want to dominate always destroys such initiatives.

Freetown Christiania - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

That might be one of the few places that have worked the longest. But you need to form a 'decreed' of living pretty quickly and enforce it, so it will not be much more different than other forms of societies.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

slowriot said:


> Many have tried but few have succeded. I like the idea, but human nature and some people's want to dominate always destroys such initiatives.


I know. My mother had to keep repeating that to me when I was a child. You have quoted her almost word-for-word. Finally, I lost faith in the possibility, just as I was supposed to. Even without the belief that it could ever happen, I never lost hope. I can still want something that can never be. 

Thank you for the information about a successful example. I will look into that. It might not be impossible after all.


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## Ikari T (Nov 1, 2008)

No, I'm sure there's quite a bunch of us in the forums who are not interested in dominating. But instead, we want comfort each other in some ways. Use your emotions!


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

Yes, I think that some of us, by our very nature, tend to avoid dominating others. This, however, raises another question: is leadership necessary in order for a structured society to exist? If so, how could we ensure appropriate leadership. If not, how could we ensure cooperation?


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## Happy (Oct 10, 2008)

One day, the world will die and we will move out of this place and into a new one. Let us hope we learn from humanities mistakes.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

Yes, Lance, I understand that the bible mentions peace under Christ's leadership after the world undergoes a huge, horrific cleansing, but until then, we're stuck here. How can we make the best of it?


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## Happy (Oct 10, 2008)

Well with different personalities constantly clashing, this notion is impossible.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

That's why I was thinking that only the HSPs would be allowed. Then their differences in personality wouldn't matter so much.


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## Happy (Oct 10, 2008)

This is actually possible. You can build a club for people like this and kick people out that disobey the rules.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

Should I get a massive ESTP bouncer to throw out the ones who disobey? I don't know if the gentle people would be aggressive enough to keep order if a bully slipped in by mistake.


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## Ikari T (Nov 1, 2008)

snail said:


> Should I get a massive ESTP bouncer to throw out the ones who disobey? I don't know if the gentle people would be aggressive enough to keep order if a bully slipped in by mistake.


By all means, please do. As long as the ESTP doesn't turn on us. xD


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

Maybe an ESFP, then.


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## dealuna (Jan 27, 2011)

If Orwellian nightmares had Santa Claus, unicorns, or the Tooth Fairy as villains...and where anything short of gentleness and kindness and altruism were massively censored, yay, sign me up for Big Brother and the Farm!


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

Better idea: Buy some pepper spray. ^.^


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## Shadmax (Dec 27, 2011)

Quelzalcoatl said:


> Upon the poll question: voted *No* because if I buy an island, people will not be allowed on it, unless I sanction it, and the only reason I will sanction it is if they comply with all the conditions I put them under, e.g.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Haha That's great, I especially love the last one about talking. I have E friends who talk so much that one must interrupt to say anything at all. It wears me out quickly and then they wonder why I have no energy.


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## Wobzter (Jun 2, 2011)

I think I would fit the criteria and I do think it's possible for such an island to be born.
However, I'm not interested. As much as I dislike upsetting other people or doing anything that could potentially make that happen, I don't get upset easily at all, so I wouldn't really need such a safe haven. 
Yes, I do want to live in a peaceful place.... But I also want to be connected to the world - and I don't think I can live both on that island and still be connected. I mean, introducing the internet is introducing everyone to the island; including the people who aren't permitted.

Edit: Also, I'd love to learn more about the world. Spending time with like-minded people narrows down how much I can learn.


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## MonieJ (Nov 22, 2010)

Sorry I wouldn't buy a island.

I barely spend money on myself soo... *shrugs*


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## Rizzie (Nov 27, 2016)

Nope. All people can get offended. Unless you're talking/texting a bot. Those don't have feelings.


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## Endologic (Feb 14, 2015)

snail said:


> If there is, I would like to go there. Is there any refuge for people too sensitive to deal with others who aren't? We should buy an island.


HSPism is a myth - a fancy way to describe INxP oversensitivity, mainly used by INFPs, occasionally INTPs.

Sometimes also used by INTJs and INFJs, but mainly because they misinterpret "sensitivity".

Also, if every one of went to an island, you would all starve and die, because you're too shy to cooperate.

Heck, just go to New Zealand. "Too expensive" my ass. Fly to Australia and then to New Zealand.

There, you could survive WW3 if it ever happened.

_No, nevermind. You would just die because you're more sensitive to the radiation that barely even touches the islands._


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## versace (Jul 27, 2016)

Different opinions are great and it's what makes the world go round, but I can't stand people that have aggressive opinions. There's a difference between being passionate about your opinion and being a straight-up jerk. You can have an intelligent debate with someone, two sides being completely opposite, whilst having no one's feelings get hurt. I debate with my grandfather all the time and we can have very very different opinions when we debate politics, him being a conservative and me being a liberal, but the two of us always leave the conversation with huge smiles on our faces and feeling very fulfilled. As long as you know how to be respectful and listen to the other side with an open mind, then any place can be a safe place to interact. You just have to find people who are on board with being respectful and open-minded and then you're set.


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