# Help me find myself. (What's my type?)



## Libra Sun (Sep 7, 2012)

1) What aspect of your personality made you unsure of your type?
I’ve taken dozens of tests honestly. I’m ALL over the place. I really just want one solid direction. I’m seeking that one truth, I guess you could say. Too many options are making me crazy ha. Good god I’m difficult to type because I’m all over the place emotionally and personally. Not one type truly resonates. 

2) What do you yearn for in life? Why?
It’s funny, I was just talking about this with a friend. I miss when life was new, exciting, when I could play make believe and it not feel so heavy. I miss the creativity, and I feel like the monotony of everyday life has stifled that creativity. I’m drained by boring, everyday things like work, especially. I feel so unhappy in an office setting because I’m really not good with details in this capacity. I’m good with details when it comes to my thoughts and feelings, and if something has affected me deeply, but as far as the details of everyday life? I’d rather not deal. I yearn to be free of responsibility in all honesty. I yearn to live a life full of passion and poetry. 

3) Think about a time where you felt like you were at your finest. Tell us what made you feel that way.
When I’m connecting with people, that is when I’m in my element. Especially when it comes to my family. Actually, this past Easter will probably be the best example of when I felt at my finest. My sister, cousin, and I at my grandmother’s 90th birthday party – reminiscing, laughing until we cried.. it was a high unlike anything I felt. I wanted to bottle the feeling and keep it forever, because the crash from said high is painful, and it takes me awhile to pick myself up after I’ve fallen. 

4) What makes you feel inferior?
Gee.. what doesn’t make me feel inferior, honestly. I have this horrible, horrible habit of comparing myself to other people, especially other writers. I don’t feel like I’m enough in any capacity, so when I feel like someone is slipping away from me, I tend to pull further away instead of fighting to hold onto them. I used to be the opposite, but I feel like fading gives me more control, I guess you could say? I’m losing them on my terms instead of theirs, so I have more control over the pain. If I feel they’re better off without me or I can see they truly don’t need me, then I’m gone. I have the strongest desire to be more significant in a person’s life than is probably healthy. 

5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.)
Everything weighs heavily.. it’s nearly impossible for me to make decisions. If I don’t talk it out with other people, then I can’t get any clarity. I value other people opinions highly, and I know that’s because I don’t have confidence in my own mind. But I’ve always been this way. 

6) When working on a project what is normally your emphasis? Do you like to have control of the outcome?
Hmm… if it’s a work project I tend to drag it out as much as possible because it’s something I’m really not feeling. I don’t desire any control in that sense because being a leader isn’t something that comes naturally to me, nor do I care to take that role. If it’s a personal project, like a writing project… then I work in spurts. I can be feeling something one minute, the flame is intensely high, and nothing can fan it out.. but the next minute, it feels like a bucket of ice water put out my fire, and I have no explanation for it. This is why I don’t really stick to anything – it’s nearly impossible for me to feel passionate about anything longer than a day or two, or sometimes three.

7) Describe us a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it?
Going out shopping is so fun for me. I have a shopping problem, admittedly. I’m so addicted to buying things that make me feel good in the moment, and then sometimes I’ll think to myself “why did I spend all that money, I didn’t really NEED it.” So I guess in a tiny sense I can be impulsive? Nothing specific is really coming to mind for me at the moment, but shopping and dining and spending time with good friends and family is something I get a high from.

8) When you want to learn something new, what feels more natural for you? (Are you more prone to be hands on, to theorize, to memorize, etc)
It takes me a bit of effort to understand things, sometimes, especially if I’m intimidated by it. So.. I think a step by step approach and hands on is best for me to learn something new. I’m also very much a visual learner, so if you can show me in visualizations or provide solid examples of a theory, then it’s easier for me to fully grasp and understand.

9) How organized do you to think of yourself as?
This is what’s tricky – I’m meticulous about my personal space. I’ll go through spurts where I’m messy and I’ll toss things around my room, but then I’ll go through periods where I’m neurotic and everything has to be in its proper place. I go through cleaning sprees quite frequently – it’s emotionally healing for me, putting things in order and cleaning out the clutter. As far as work goes – I’m not really all that organized, and I think it’s because I don’t put very much of myself in my work. If it’s my own personal space, then I definitely care a lot more organizing it.

10) How do you judge new ideas? You try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense or do you look for information that supports it?
Hmm.. I can be pretty resistant to new ideas, especially if they clash with something I feel strongly about. For example, if someone were to try and convince me that flirting in a relationship is okay – then I’d probably go off about all the ways it’s not okay and not right, because it’s a personal trigger point for me. It would be harder for me to be open minded about something that’s already set in my brain. But if it were more along the lines of giving me suggestions on how to improve a plot or story, then I’d be much more open to it. It’s not that it’s less personal, but it’s less painful because it doesn’t tug on painful strings and open up a wound. (Even though it’s not something I’ve personally been through – but the idea of a significant other thinking that’s okay, makes me livid, that’s why I used that example.)

11) You find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself?
This is so so tough for me because I think it varies. There will always be a part of me that will desire peace and harmony in my environment, but I find the older I’m getting, the more I’m realizing my true motivations for that. It’s not so much because I want them to be happy (well, of course I do, but it’s not the core reason), it’s more about being true to myself or wanting to feel harmonized internally. For example, I sometimes don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings because it’s not who I am or who I want to be. Yet at the same time, I can empathize with how they may be feeling by putting myself in their shoes, and imagining how I’d feel in their situation. 

12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions?
It all depends on how I’m around. Sometimes I have a tendency to blurt things out without really thinking, if I’m around a close friend or my significant other. Other times I over think before I speak or even after, because I’m so worried about the impressive I’ll make or have made. I prefer one-on-one communication because I tend to feel overshadowed in group discussions. I don’t feel entirely comfortable hearing my own voice, voicing my own opinions around too many people. 

13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words?
Sometimes I have a tendency to jump too quickly. Often I hear myself saying “…yeah, I didn’t really think that through…” And other times I pick apart everything, examine every angle, and don’t move into action at all. My fear of change keeps me stagnant sometimes, yet there’s another part of me that feels the need to jump out of the confines of my skin and fly.

14) It's Saturday. You're at home, and your favorite show is about to start. Your friends call you for a night out. What will you do?
I’d probably go unless I just wasn’t in the mood to socialize. If I was already in a headspace where I was ready to relax and curl up with my favorite show, then I’d probably make up an excuse, but I’d be as nice as possible about it, because I wouldn’t want them to see through me or feel I didn’t want to be bothered with them.
15) How do you act when you're stressed out?
Insane. A mess. I have extreme tunnel vision when I’m stressed. All I can see is the current situation, nothing more. You can’t talk to me or I’ll dissect every word you say and spin it into the worst possible scenario or meaning. 

16) What makes you dislike the personalities of some people?
I feel extremely comfortable and at home with gentle and sweet souls, more like my own. But I’m drawn to opinionated feeling types who are bold in their delivery – yet I’ll most likely watch them from the sidelines because I’m too intimidated to approach them. I dislike those who have no regard for other people’s feelings, though. Bad manners, inconsideration… Ugh. I get so irritated by those things. I do have a tendency to view people through my own personal lens, so if I can’t relate to them or their actions, then I’ll fault them because they’re not acting or handling things in a way that I would. I never really used to be like that, though. I used to see the good in everyone, but I guess growing older makes you jaded.

17) Is there anything you really like talking about with other people?
Poetry, astrology, MBTI, numerology, experiences, deep emotions. I really, really, really dislike boring small talk.

18) What kind of things do you pay the least attention to in your life?
Hmm.. probably getting my own apartment and finding my own footing. I think somewhere I’m deeply attached to my inner child, and I’m scared to leave the nest. I feel a sense of security living at home despite the need for freedom. Reality tends to take a backseat. I’d rather put it away and not deal.

19) How do your friends perceive you? What is wrong about their perception? What would your friends never say about your personality?
I’m honestly not sure without really asking them? But I’d say most likely slightly guarded and quiet. There are so many aspects of my life that I don’t speak about, because either I don’t want to delve into them or I don’t want them thinking badly of me. That perception isn’t wrong, but some of them may feel that I’m too focused on what other people think of me. Which is true – but I don’t think they realize how much I don’t want to be that person, that I don’t want to rely on external validation as a crutch. My friends would probably never say that I’m bossy or uncaring.

20) You got a whole day to do whatever you like. What kind of activities do you feel like doing?
The PERFECT day consists of sitting outside with my significant other, coffee in hand. Musing about our dreams and desires. Finding some time alone to write and connect with my inner thoughts and feelings. Maybe do some shopping – retail therapy does wonders. Then just cuddle with my SO, her running her fingertips on my skin, meditate on her touch, and my soul being sent to a whole other galaxy. I don’t get to feel her touch enough, and if I could just spent some time sinking into the heat of her touch and melting, I’d combust happily.


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## NeedsNewNameNow (Dec 1, 2009)

I would say xNFP. 

Question #2 suggests you are strong with extroverted Intuition- desiring creativity, not liking monotony, not being good with details. 

I see introverted feeling in several answers: #11- the need to be true to yourself. #10 - being resistant to ideas that go against your values, and hints of it in a few other answers.

I was tempted to say ENFP, but then question 19 indicates people see you as quiet, so perhaps INFP?


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## spaceynyc (Feb 18, 2017)

totally INFP.


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## Libra Sun (Sep 7, 2012)

NeedsNewNameNow said:


> I would say xNFP.
> 
> Question #2 suggests you are strong with extroverted Intuition- desiring creativity, not liking monotony, not being good with details.
> 
> ...





spaceynyc said:


> totally INFP.



I actually considered INFP at one point, but I don't feel like my sense of self is solid enough to be Fi. I require so much external validation, I don't imagine Fi would. Yet I do see Fi in me, like you said. Fe seems more society and group focused than I am. I don't know... it's all really confusing because I feel like a contradiction. Unless I'm misunderstanding the functions.


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## NeedsNewNameNow (Dec 1, 2009)

soul_searching said:


> I actually considered INFP at one point, but I don't feel like my sense of self is solid enough to be Fi. I require so much external validation, I don't imagine Fi would. Yet I do see Fi in me, like you said. Fe seems more society and group focused than I am. I don't know... it's all really confusing because I feel like a contradiction. Unless I'm misunderstanding the functions.


I've read that Ne requires external validation. Ne is my #2, and when I have intuitive insights, I usually feel the need to run them past others even though in general I don't seek much validation. So yes it creates a contradiction 

So you could be an ENFP then. They say Ne-dominated extroverts are the most introverted of extroverts, although the ENFPs I know seem very people focused.


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## Libra Sun (Sep 7, 2012)

NeedsNewNameNow said:


> I've read that Ne requires external validation. Ne is my #2, and when I have intuitive insights, I usually feel the need to run them past others even though in general I don't seek much validation. So yes it creates a contradiction
> 
> So you could be an ENFP then. They say Ne-dominated extroverts are the most introverted of extroverts, although the ENFPs I know seem very people focused.


Hmm, ENFP isn't a type I considered, but I'll look into it.


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## Libra Sun (Sep 7, 2012)

Anyone else? I'd appreciate any insight.


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## Libra Sun (Sep 7, 2012)

@Pastelle @Shroud Shifter @Maker of helmets @RexMaximus @tanstaafl28 @isuals @Turi
I'm not sure if you're still around but if you are, I'd greatly appreciate your valuable insight!


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## 460202 (May 22, 2017)

NeedsNewNameNow said:


> I've read that Ne requires external validation. Ne is my #2, and when I have intuitive insights, I usually feel the need to run them past others even though in general I don't seek much validation. So yes it creates a contradiction
> 
> So you could be an ENFP then. They say Ne-dominated extroverts are the most introverted of extroverts, although the ENFPs I know seem very people focused.


Ne is a perceiving function, not a judging function. It requires external stimulation in order to work but it does not does not require external _validation_ because the information is being perceived and not judged. An irrational / perceiving function cannot be validated. Te and Fe require external validation. Ne does not.

Anyway, OP, I think you're an FJ. Very strong conscious Fe. The answer to the last question in particular was bleeding emotion. It's like you were inviting everyone who reads this to feel the way you feel / want to feel. The last thing you were was inaccessible, emotionally. I'll give you a more detailed reply eventually. I can't decide between SFJ and NFJ for you, but I'm leaning towards the latter.


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## Libra Sun (Sep 7, 2012)

Flower Hat said:


> Ne is a perceiving function, not a judging function. It requires external stimulation in order to work but it does not does not require external _validation_ because the information is being perceived and not judged. An irrational / perceiving function cannot be validated. Te and Fe require external validation. Ne does not.
> 
> Anyway, OP, I think you're an FJ. Very strong conscious Fe. The answer to the last question in particular was bleeding emotion. It's like you were inviting everyone who reads this to feel the way you feel / want to feel. The last thing you were was inaccessible, emotionally. I'll give you a more detailed reply eventually. I can't decide between SFJ and NFJ for you, but I'm leaning towards the latter.


Thank you so much for clearing up the confusion with Ne. It's funny, I've tested as both INFJ and ISFJ. I don't feel like ISFJ is the right fit, yet I don't really understand Ni, so I'm not sure that it's my dominant function. 
Would you mind explaining why you see Fe in me and not Fi? Fi is another function that I have difficulty fully grasping, (as well as Si).


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## UnicornRainbowLove (May 8, 2014)

You're clearly an NF with your people-orientation and delight in thoughts and creativity. I would circumspectly suggest that you're a P type due to the lack of organization, often changing interests, tough time making decisions, and generally emotionally chaotic way in which you seem to prefer to live your life. 
E/I seem quite close, but a few of the things you said makes me think you're more extroverted than average on this site, so you might fit well with the ENFP description.


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## 460202 (May 22, 2017)

soul_searching said:


> Thank you so much for clearing up the confusion with Ne. It's funny, I've tested as both INFJ and ISFJ. I don't feel like ISFJ is the right fit, yet I don't really understand Ni, so I'm not sure that it's my dominant function.
> Would you mind explaining why you see Fe in me and not Fi? Fi is another function that I have difficulty fully grasping, (as well as Si).


It's difficult to explain. I got the impression of somebody who is in touch with their emotions, but doesn't necessarily dig and dig and dig deeply into them. You were also very open about your emotions, and when you spoke about your emotions, you didn't express them flatly through Te, like, "I felt happy," but you instead painted a picture and almost put us in your shoes. Basically, you were adept at dealing with them externally. With Fi types, emotion is seemingly drawn _away_ from the object. I did not get this from. Your emotions weren't locked up in a box and stored away, and when you shared your emotions, you were doing more than merely stating them. Emotion was flowing out of you in all directions. Reading your answers was like listening to a Taylor Swift song. Very openly emotional. An invitation to share emotions. 

You did remind of an INFJ I used to know, so perhaps subjective experience is clouding my judgment.

As for functions...

Sensing refers to the experiential, the physical, the aesthetic and the literal. It refers to what _is_, in simple terms. At least, this is how it's interpreted today. Intuition refers to the conceptual, to patterns and meaning, to that which cannot be seen or felt physically but can be perceived via intuition / thought. Feeling is judgments in morals and value, but also refers to how one deals with their emotions and judges information in accordance to it. Thinking is basically the same thing, but in the realm of logical thought and data.

Introverted functions are deep, independent, subjective and dealt with internally. They pull away from the object in order to decide how the person should perceive or judge it. Extroverted functions are broad, objective, flow outward and dependent on the external, in comparison. 

Knowing these basic definitions, you can basically figure out for yourself how each function works. For example, Si is the subjective perception of the physical object, while Ni is the subjective perception of the meaning / concept of the object.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

I'll try to get back to you. I'm sort of busy.


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## Maker of helmets (Sep 8, 2014)

I would say possibly INFJ


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## Turi (May 9, 2017)

ENFP.

If there's one thing that sums you up from that entire post, it's Ne.
You don't know wtf you are. Can't make decisions. Worry about a billion different things. You get way into things, probably on an obsessive level and then drop it a couple of days later - typical Ne from what I've read.


Your Fi comes through in that you want time alone to connect with your feelings and thoughts. 
The story you tell in question 3 is Fi to the core - yes it's a shared experience with your sister and cousin etc, but it's very much about how you felt. Your feelings. It sounds very much like some repressed Fi - probably from your ordinary life.
This is bang on where you need to be. You need to take steps to keep your Fi happy.

Your Fi comes through further when you say you want a life of no responsibilities - you want to follow your poetry, you want to follow your passions - no rules, no authority - you want to do what YOU want to do, and nothing else.
That is pretty much a description of Fi verbatim and IMO it sums you up.

You mention you love shopping and can be a little impulsive - you see something, you want it, you get it, and you feel a little iffy afterwards sometimes. This is your undeveloped inferior Si. Si can be very materialistic. 
As it's your inferior function it also explains why you dislike mundane things as well.


With how you deal with stress - that's your Ni coming in to play, which is almost as strong as Ne in ENFPs (from what I've read) but it's not used in a positive way. You narrow in on one thing, and everything you take in gets misinterpreted and spirals out of control into worst case scenarios - you're not pulling these scenarios out of thin air, which is what Ne might look like in this situation - you're pulling them from things that are happening, things that are being said to you, as you're trying to focus on the one thing (Ni).


Your dislike for authority and rules etc is not only Fi, but it could actually stem from your tertiary Te which is likely underdeveloped - how old are you?
If you're a teen, or even in your 20s, I imagine your Te will have quite a lot of developing to do - and when it does, you'll start to appreciate systems, laws, policies, things like that.. you might not love them, but at least you'll tolerate them and perhaps understand them and what they're trying to achieve.


The fact that you need to bounce ideas off people, and require external validation from people, confirms you're not an introvert - you might be shy, you might be reserved, you might be quiet, but your brain is not wired to be an introvert.

Also, having Te as your tertiary function explains why you sometimes can be so impulsive - when you bypass your Fi - you go straight from Ne to Te.
This means you're probably going straight from an idea, to putting the idea into action through Te without any real thought as to whether it's actually the best thing for you to do - you're bypassing your Fi when you do things like buy stuff, and then feel bad about it - it was only a good idea in the moment - that moment when you bypassed what feels right for you - and went straight from idea (Ne - you like those cool shoes) to the underdeveloped, logical problem-solving Te (buying the shoes solves the problem, it makes the Ne idea come to fruition).

As you get older (you might already be older, I'm totally taking a guess here), your Te will develop and be more useful and you'll be able to put your ideas into action in a positive way - you need to filter your ideas through your Fi.

So combining your Ne with Te and Si (Si is the thing that makes the Ne idea seem like a good choice btw, when it's an inferior function) and not consulting your Fi.. failure is imminent.

Make sure the ideas you come up with actually FEEL like the right thing to do, BEFORE you put things into action.
Always turn to your Fi. Make sure things FEEL right.

You'll find that by doing that, and putting what feels right to you into action, will make everything feel a whole lot better for you.
It goes for everything in life. You personally, as an ENFP, as someone with Fi so high up in the cognitive functions stack, NEEDS to have time and space to do whatever the heck you want to do - no restrictions - nobody suffocating your creativity - nobody invading your personal space - you need time to do whatever YOU want to do.

This might not be sit around and have time on your own - IMO you're an extravert - but it can't be like.. work.. or doing things for other people. It's gotta be what YOU want to do.
And it needs to be something you can get creative with to satisfy your Ne, but IMO that will come naturally, you won't be drawn to things that aren't creative anyway.


Anyway that's my 2 cents.
Probably way off. That's how I read your opening post.


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## Libra Sun (Sep 7, 2012)

@Turi - Wow, thank you so much for your feedback. I can see how ENFP makes sense. I'm definitely shy, and I think that's why I've always identified as an introvert. I'm older than I most likely sound in my original post. I don't know what came over me, but for once, I wasn't overthinking and just let it flow. I wasn't consciously thinking about other people and their potential perceptions of me. This is why I second guessed INFP or ENFP before, because needing the reassurance and validation felt, to me, like Fe. However, I'll certainly consider ENFP, as you've given a very strong argument for it functionally. I really appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts.


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## Libra Sun (Sep 7, 2012)

Flower Hat said:


> It's difficult to explain. I got the impression of somebody who is in touch with their emotions, but doesn't necessarily dig and dig and dig deeply into them. You were also very open about your emotions, and when you spoke about your emotions, you didn't express them flatly through Te, like, "I felt happy," but you instead painted a picture and almost put us in your shoes. Basically, you were adept at dealing with them externally. With Fi types, emotion is seemingly drawn _away_ from the object. I did not get this from. Your emotions weren't locked up in a box and stored away, and when you shared your emotions, you were doing more than merely stating them. Emotion was flowing out of you in all directions. Reading your answers was like listening to a Taylor Swift song. Very openly emotional. An invitation to share emotions.
> 
> You did remind of an INFJ I used to know, so perhaps subjective experience is clouding my judgment.
> 
> ...


This makes sense too, especially the first paragraph. Maybe more so than ENFP. I don't know. I'm still very confused, but only because I'm trying to figure out which type's cognitive functions is the closest to who I am. I feel like I'm difficult to type because my feelings, thoughts, and opinions are constantly changing.


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## 460202 (May 22, 2017)

soul_searching said:


> This makes sense too, especially the first paragraph. Maybe more so than ENFP. I don't know. I'm still very confused, but only because I'm trying to figure out which type's cognitive functions is the closest to who I am. I feel like I'm difficult to type because my feelings, thoughts, and opinions are constantly changing.


I'm positive you're Fe, and therefore not an ENFP. You were so forthcoming with your feelings and so ostentatious in sharing them - this contradicts the definition of Fi. Emotion is absolutely _not_ drawn away from the object, with you. 

I also felt that the other user's arguments for Fi weren't arguing Fi at all. Being in touch with your feelings and judging things based on how you feel about them / their value point to a preference for Feeling over Thinking rather than Fi. Following your dreams and passions is a normal human trait. "Fe = sucking up to authority / conformist" is a stereotype.


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## Pastelle (Dec 12, 2016)

I still relevant to be mentioned? Sweet!
I sense more Fe. I thought Infj while reading the OP. Michael Pierce describes the Fe/Fi difference well 



.


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## NeedsNewNameNow (Dec 1, 2009)

Flower Hat said:


> Ne is a perceiving function, not a judging function. It requires external stimulation in order to work but it does not does not require external _validation_ because the information is being perceived and not judged. An irrational / perceiving function cannot be validated. Te and Fe require external validation. Ne does not.


Well there is at least one Ne description on this very site that describes Ne 
as needing external validation for its ideas. And that's one of the problems with typing confusion, everyone has a different idea of the details of how each function works. 

Even without this detail, I still see enough Ne in OP's post to say that is probably her top perceiving function.


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## Turi (May 9, 2017)

soul_searching said:


> @Turi - Wow, thank you so much for your feedback. I can see how ENFP makes sense. I'm definitely shy, and I think that's why I've always identified as an introvert. I'm older than I most likely sound in my original post. I don't know what came over me, but for once, I wasn't overthinking and just let it flow. I wasn't consciously thinking about other people and their potential perceptions of me. This is why I second guessed INFP or ENFP before, because needing the reassurance and validation felt, to me, like Fe. However, I'll certainly consider ENFP, as you've given a very strong argument for it functionally. I really appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts.


No worries, and no, requiring reassurance and validation isn't Fe.
Fe isn't concerned with that at all.

Fe wants to reassure and validate other people when used in a positive fashion, and it basically wants to brute-force-brainwash-beat-down people into how it thinks things should be when used in a negative fashion.

So while you're a feeler, it's more about.. you. You require validation and reassurance for your ideas.

Also. FWIW, Fi can feel like and act a whole lot like Ti IMO - for things to feel right, you'll probably wind up having to think about them, deeply. Fi is very analytical, as it searches for the truth, in a way that makes sense to you personally.
Ti is the same thing (imo) but searching for objective truths - unbiased (when used in a healthy manner).


For some weird reason, I've got it in my head that building your Fi is the key to confidence for you - it'd mean, in theory at least, that you're more confident in your Fi ideas, so when you're bouncing them off other people.. it's more to see how the ideas go down, rather than seeking validation or reassurance.


Also don't let me beat you back into overthinking what you say and type, sorry if I've made you feel that way, just be yourself, let it flow. Always best to be true to yourself, especially if you have Fi as your dominant function or auxiliary function - you'll probably feel suffocated, repressed and down if you don't be true to yourself and keep acting how you think society would prefer you to act.


Anyway that's my thoughts, I'm no pro, not even positive I know my own type but I do have a bit of fun reading up on it all and chipping in my 2p in peoples threads, @Flower Hat is probably right, my interpretation of Fi is probably way off - it's hard to tell on the internet, because people say things, more openly and honest than they would in person, how do we know that what you're saying isn't those thoughts and feelings that an Fi would usually not express in the real world?


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## 460202 (May 22, 2017)

NeedsNewNameNow said:


> Well there is at least one Ne description on this very site that describes Ne
> as needing external validation for its ideas.


I honestly cannot wrap my head around this. How could a _perceiving_ function require validation? It would require validation in order to be _judged_, and would be judged by a judging / rational function. To say that Ne requires validation is to directly contradict Ne as an irrational function. You gather information with Ne. You build on information with Ne. You do not judge information with Ne. 



> And that's one of the problems with typing confusion, everyone has a different idea of the details of how each function works.


I agree. However, I definitely believe that the description you're referring to clashes with the very (Jungian _and_ MBTI _and_ Socionics) definition of Ne as a perceiving function. I'd go so far to say that this is a logical inconsistency. 



> Even without this detail, I still see enough Ne in OP's post to say that is probably her top perceiving function.


I cannot wrap my head around Ne dominance (or even auxiliary) given her answer to question 10. Here's the exact quote:



> Hmm.. I can be pretty resistant to new ideas, especially if they clash with something I feel strongly about.


Complete opposite of Ne-dom. Pi > Pe.


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## NeedsNewNameNow (Dec 1, 2009)

Flower Hat said:


> I honestly cannot wrap my head around this. How could a _perceiving_ function require validation? It would require validation in order to be _judged_, and would be judged by a judging / rational function. To say that Ne requires validation is to directly contradict Ne as an irrational function. You gather information with Ne. You build on information with Ne. You do not judge information with Ne.


The way the description was written was that when Ne generates the idea/concept, it seeks to have others validate the idea, because since it's not a judging function, it's unable to judge the idea by itself. It was part of an explanation as to why Ne is "extroverted" while Ni is "introverted" (IE Ni doesn't care what others think of its concepts). I'll read other descriptions to see if it jives, but I do recognize this pattern in myself.. As soon as I have an interesting idea, I want others to know about it. But sharing my Ti-inner world? Not so much. 




> I cannot wrap my head around Ne dominance (or even auxiliary) given her answer to question 10. Here's the exact quote:


Ne generates ideas, but it won't accept just any idea if it clashes with the Ne/Ji framework. What she's saying is she rejects ideas that clash with Fi, which is to be expected. Now maybe that means her Fi is more dominant than her Ne, IDK.


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## 460202 (May 22, 2017)

NeedsNewNameNow said:


> The way the description was written was that when Ne generates the idea/concept, it seeks to have others validate the idea, because since it's not a judging function, it's unable to judge the idea by itself. It was part of an explanation as to why Ne is "extroverted" while Ni is "introverted" (IE Ni doesn't care what others think of its concepts). I'll read other descriptions to see if it jives, but I do recognize this pattern in myself.. *As soon as I have an interesting idea, I want others to know about it. * But sharing my Ti-inner world? Not so much.


I understand what you're saying, but in order to validate an irrational function, one would have to reach down (or up) in order to validate the ideas / experiences using a rational function. So, in order to validate Ne based on the _external_, one would have to lean on their Je function - Te or Fe. 

The bolded part is not an example of your Ne requiring validation, but rather an example of your N function being, well, extroverted. It's your highest extroverted function, so it's easy for you to communicate using Ne. You get ideas and you want to share it, and in turn people will expand on it. That is not validation. It's stimulation.



> Ne generates ideas, but it won't accept just any idea if it clashes with the Ne/Ji framework. What she's saying is she rejects ideas that clash with Fi, which is to be expected. Now maybe that means her Fi is more dominant than her Ne, IDK.


You make some good points. However, I do still believe she's Fe. Fi is inaccessible emotionally, and soul_searching is not. I'll have to think about this.


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## daffodil (Apr 21, 2016)

I am no expert, but I've always seen you as an INFP like myself. People see Fe in me as well, but I think Fi is perfectly capable of creating a give and take conversation that draws others in and appreciates/respects others feelings. I don't think Fi is at all inaccessible. But I'm no expert.


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## daffodil (Apr 21, 2016)

Also, I think the level of sharing regarding personal feelings, the desire for external validation and the ability to converse in an engaging way.. has many other factors, such as level of extraversion, upbringing, insecurities, people pleasing, the desire to belong... on my personal opinion, any personality type (but more likely any feeling dom/aux type) can feel similarly even if they aren't Fe dom. Again, not an expert, but I don't see Fe as open doors and Fi as closed doors. I think there's a lot more to it.


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## 460202 (May 22, 2017)

SonicRainforest said:


> I am no expert, but I've always seen you as an INFP like myself. People see Fe in me as well, but I think Fi is perfectly capable of creating a give and take conversation that draws others in and appreciates/respects others feelings. *I don't think Fi is at all inaccessible*. But I'm no expert.


It's in the definition of Fi.


> It is principally among women that I have found the predominance of introverted feeling. 'Still waters run deep' is very true of such women. They are mostly silent, *inaccessible*, and hard to understand; often they hide behind a childish or banal mask, and their temperament is inclined to melancholy. They neither shine nor reveal themselves. As they are mainly guided by their subjective feelings, their true motives generally remain hidden. Their outward demeanor is harmonious and inconspicuous, giving an impression of pleasing repose, or of sympathetic response, with no desire to affect others, to impress, influence, or change them in any way.


Sorry if I come off as condescending. Just proving my point.


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## daffodil (Apr 21, 2016)

Flower Hat said:


> Sorry if I come off as condescending. Just proving my point.


No worries at all  everything I said was based off of my own observations of myself and from being in an INFP chat group. I'm not at all surprised to find my thoughts not aligning with definition! Hope I'm not just adding more confusion to the mix for soul_searching... I just relate to you. Best wishes in finding your type!


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## Libra Sun (Sep 7, 2012)

SonicRainforest said:


> I am no expert, but I've always seen you as an INFP like myself. People see Fe in me as well, but I think Fi is perfectly capable of creating a give and take conversation that draws others in and appreciates/respects others feelings. I don't think Fi is at all inaccessible. But I'm no expert.


I'm actually curious about your definition of Fi, if you don't mind elaborating. I'm also genuinely curious as to why you see me as INFP. Is it my being in touch with my feelings? I first tested as INFJ years ago, then ISFJ, and even sometimes INFP. I had some people say I could be ENFP or ESFJ as well. It's all very confusing to me.


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## Libra Sun (Sep 7, 2012)

Does anyone else have any input? I'd really appreciate it!


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## Maker of helmets (Sep 8, 2014)

soul_searching said:


> Does anyone else have any input? I'd really appreciate it!


Hey, wondering if this article resonates? It is about the social experience for INFJs in general, or at least one interpretation The Chameleon Effect | Jennifer Soldner


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## Libra Sun (Sep 7, 2012)

Maker of helmets said:


> Hey, wondering if this article resonates? It is about the social experience for INFJs in general, or at least one interpretation The Chameleon Effect | Jennifer Soldner


Hmm, that does resonate. I'll have to think about this.


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## Libra Sun (Sep 7, 2012)

Anyone else?


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## Libra Sun (Sep 7, 2012)

I'm pretty sure I've narrowed it down to INFJ or ISFJ, but I'm not 100% sure. I'd appreciate any input.


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## 460202 (May 22, 2017)

soul_searching said:


> I'm pretty sure I've narrowed it down to INFJ or ISFJ, but I'm not 100% sure. I'd appreciate any input.


I'd go with INFJ simply based on the "vibe" I got from you, but obviously that's a stupid way to type.

Here's something I wrote on Ni/Se not too long ago:



> I have two NJs to compare you with: my ENTJ (3w2) sister, whose functions you might relate to better, and my INFJ (2w3 or 3w2) ex, who is the only person I can refer to in trying to explain what inferior Se looks like in real life. Of course, I don't believe that they're the only two high Ni types I've ever known, but I don't go around typing everybody I meet. I must have met more NJs without realizing they were NJs.
> 
> Both my sister and my ex like "nice things." Maybe too much. They've got extravagant tastes, and are even willing to splurge on luxuries. My sister is incredibly practical and even rather prudent with money, but if she sees something "nice" (and it's marked down at least 10%), she will buy it. She's a lot more adventurous than he is. She's willing to try out something like skydiving or go-carting if it seems exciting. She likes good food, but isn't overly indulgent in it. She likes to exercise regularly to stay active, fit and to look good. She's good at seeing things for what they are without twisting them out of shape. Se is how she plays. She doesn't live with her Se the way my ESTP sister does, but she doesn't have zero control over it either. It's her Fi that has a life of her own.
> 
> ...


Here's a part of something I'd written on Si-Ne in comparison with Ne-Si:



> My ISTJ is one of the most intellectual people I know. He might be the only person who I can discuss books or movies with the way I want to. He gets very "meta," and loves to critique and consider different perspectives, but finds it hard to accept them if they don't fit into the world as he sees it. When he gets an idea, it grows and grows and grows and gets out of control. He starts writing a novel and the novel gets bigger and bigger, and three main characters turn into sixteen main characters, and several broad themes are explored, and his ideas will lead to more ideas, and he will abandon working on one story to work on another. Wash, rinse, repeat. Every now and then he'll look back at his old ideas. He'll revisit, expand and reinvent them.
> 
> He can spend hours online, researching things. He loves to discuss what he researches. He explores topics in terms of breadth rather than depth. He can riff off anything you bring up, although he's generally very quiet. He seems very much like a dominant or auxiliary Ne. I look at him and think, "I do those things too. My Ne works the same way. Maybe I'm Si-Ne too." But I'm not Si-Ne and he's not Ne-Si. His Ne is obvious, but it's not as much of a priority as Si and Te and Fi are.
> 
> When I suggest that I might be STJ, or worse, SFJ, he thinks I'm crazy, because while Ne looks very much the same in both of us, Ne runs my life while Si runs his. He's more commitment-phobic. He has an idea and he builds on that idea, but he doesn't act on it unless he is certain that he's willing to commit to it. A problem SJs often face in life is the reluctant to commit to something because they fear that if they do, and they lose interest, they will be "stuck." The higher Si wants their choices to last, and longs for stability. The low Ne tugs them to explore. He spontaneously considers leaving his job to go after something new. He considers until he decides that the risk might be worth it, and if it is, then he's committed to it. He follows through. He's not drained by the Si and the Te. They make his vision more real.


Hope this helps.


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## Libra Sun (Sep 7, 2012)

@Flower Hat - This definitely helps, thank you. I apologize for rehashing this, but I'm on a quest for a deeper understanding of self, and while finding my type obviously doesn't define me, I think it can lead me in the right direction. But as of right now, INFJ does make the most sense since that's what I originally tested as, and it seems to fit for the most part functionally.


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## Libra Sun (Sep 7, 2012)

I know this thread is nearly a month old, but I'd really appreciate more feedback. I'm still torn between types, and I'd like some insight. Thank you!


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## Libra Sun (Sep 7, 2012)

Hmm. Anyone?


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## robert666 (Mar 18, 2015)

soul_searching said:


> @Flower Hat - This definitely helps, thank you. I apologize for rehashing this, but* I'm on a quest for a deeper understanding of self, and while finding my type obviously doesn't define me, I think it can lead me in the right direction. *But as of right now, INFJ does make the most sense since that's what I originally tested as, and it seems to fit for the most part functionally.


Do you suppose this has something to do with your personality type...


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## Libra Sun (Sep 7, 2012)

robert666 said:


> Do you suppose this has something to do with your personality type...


Perhaps it does. I'm always flipping back and forth between things, so.. INFJ felt right at one point, and now I'm not so sure.


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