# Threesome



## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

The title says it all, well, not really, it just gives you a general idea of where this is going, honey-buns. I'm starting this thread as I've seen "threesomes" mentioned occasionally in these threads, either because it's a fantasy or out of curiosity. I will add a poll so users who want to remain anonymous can put their opinion out there.

There are varying types of threesomes, there's MMF, FFM, FFF, and MMM (F=female, M=male). I can't speak for any other gender, as I unaware the acronym. 


Have/would you ever participate in a threesome?

What type was it/would you like (MMF, FFM, FFF, or MMM)?

Did you enjoy it? Explain. [only answer if you have participated]

Would you do it again? Explain. [only answer if you have participated]


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## viva (Aug 13, 2010)

I only get to answer the first question... womp womp.

*Have/would you ever participate in a threesome?*:
Nope. I'm pretty open-minded when it comes to sex, but that's because I think it's an awesome way for two people to express their love for one another. That's kind of hard to do when a third person gets all mixed up in there.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

I see there are a couple people that have participated in a threesome but didn't enjoy it. You can keep you anonymity, but I _am_ curious.


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## Darkestblue (Apr 19, 2010)

I'm not sure. My idealized imagination of it is nice, but who knows what it'll be really like. Hell, I don't even know what sex with one person is like.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Jazzanova said:


> I'm not sure. My idealized imagination of it is nice, but who knows what it'll be really like. *Hell, I don't even know what sex with one person is like.*


It's awesome. Sex + foreplay + all that jazz. Or...all that _Jazzanova_ :wink:

Would you have any preference such as, yourself and two females or you, a male, and a female? I like to know that kind of stuff.


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## Darkestblue (Apr 19, 2010)

Fizz said:


> It's awesome. Sex + foreplay + all that jazz. Or...all that _Jazzanova_ :wink:
> 
> Would you have any preference such as, yourself and two females or you, a male, and a female? I like to know that kind of stuff.


I'd only do MFF. And maybe MFM-FT, if the M-FT was really attractive. Man, that could be hot.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Jazzanova said:


> I'd only do MFF. And maybe MFM-FT, if the M-FT was really attractive. Man, that could be hot.


T= Transsexual (SRS)? And MFM-FT?...female transsexual (Male to Female)?


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## Darkestblue (Apr 19, 2010)

Fizz said:


> T= Transsexual (SRS)? And MFM-FT?...female transsexual?


m-ft = male to female transsexual


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Jazzanova said:


> m-ft = male to female transsexual


You into some _freaky stuff_ Jazz :crazy: I don't hate :tongue:


NOTE: I don't think transsexuals are "freaky", I am making a joke. I put warning here for people who don't understand that I'm completely fine with _human beings_. I'm glad they are living their life in a way that makes them happy.


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## Darkestblue (Apr 19, 2010)

Fizz said:


> You into some _freaky stuff_ Jazz :crazy: I don't hate :tongue:


i'm somewhat adventurous.:wink:


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Jazzanova said:


> i'm somewhat adventurous.:wink:


That's an attitude I welcome :wink:


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## Hokahey (Oct 8, 2010)

It would only have to be in a "casual" relationship, one basically only built on sex. I wouldn't want to share my SO with anyone, even if it was another hot woman. I would probably only do a MFF as well, as selfish as that sounds (sorry) just would feel insecure with another man there. Not to mention I think a lot of men are assholes. haha.....


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## lifeisanillusion (Feb 21, 2011)

I think a threesome sounds interesting, but not sure how things would work out after. Sounds like something you would really need to talk with your partener about before trying it. See where you both stand.

Being bi curious, I think I would actually prefer to try a MMF thressome first. The thought of kissing another guy grosses me out, but I would be interested in trying to give a blowjob or handjob to another guy. The thought of watching another guy pound my girlfriend really turns me on as well, (especially if he is hung) although I am not sure how I would handle it after the fact, bit too insecure at this time.

As for FFM, it would be totatlly awesome to be with two girls, but at the same time extremely intimidating. Would love to watch two girls go at it, but I would need to gradually mix myself into the equation. Once I would be able to relax, I think it would be something that would be very enjoyable. Especially seeing two girls kissing each other, that is so beautiful.

If two of the people are in a romantic relationship together, what does the third person do after? Do they just leave? I would think it would feel weird to cuddle or just with the person, if you don't love them? Maybe threesomes are something that should be more casual rather than something you do with someone who you actually love?


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

lifeisanillusion said:


> Being bi curious, I think I would actually prefer to try a MMF thressome first. The thought of kissing another guy grosses me out, *but I would be interested in trying to give a blowjob or handjob to another guy.* The thought of watching another guy pound my girlfriend really turns me on as well, (especially if he is hung) although I am not sure how I would handle it after the fact, bit too insecure at this time.


That's hot :wink:

Take it or leave it, gentlemen.




lifeisanillusion said:


> If two of the people are in a romantic relationship together, what does the third person do after? Do they just leave? I would think it would feel weird to cuddle or just with the person, if you don't love them? Maybe threesomes are something that should be more casual rather than something you do with someone who you actually love?


There is actually threesome etiquette online. It is recommended that the third partner that is not a part of the couple is supposed to leave. It's not really appropriate for the partner to stay the night or cuddle with the couple.

And deciding whether to have a threesome with your lover or in a casual relationship is up to the couple. If they can handle it, that's for them. Some people, like @Hokahey mentioned, he would not want to be in a committed relationship with someone and to share them. It's just a preference. I think I could handle either.


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## Eerie (Feb 9, 2011)

Only because I've had experience with this, I will say that even being the single person involved in with a couple can be complicated. When their relationship fell apart I was blamed, I tried to not take it personally since I believed it was something they both wanted. It was just drama. Never again.


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## etherealuntouaswithin (Dec 7, 2010)

With my Significant,No.I dont share-and I dont fuck around with intrusions,women as well as men.As to casual relationships...probably not.Not from a lack of curiosity...i just couldn't get into it.I prefer an exploration of One to One experiences and become uncomfortable/angered with anyone's prodding.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

*QUESTION FOR EVERYONE:*

I would also like to ask contributors, how would you feel if your SO had participated in a threesome in the past?

Would you be upset or jealous?
Would you not mind?
Would it turn you on/off?
Would it matter who was involved? (Friends, strangers or # of males, # of females, # of _other_)


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## etherealuntouaswithin (Dec 7, 2010)

Hmm...Idk,I dont think i'd be particularly moved by it.What matters is what is happening *Now*,In the moments that you and I share,have shared and will share.So,as long as she didn't speak of it all the time,I couldn't care less about what was done before we found each other.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Eerie said:


> Only because I've had experience with this, I will say that even being the single person involved in with a couple can be complicated. When their relationship fell apart I was blamed, I tried to not take it personally since I believed it was something they both wanted. It was just drama. Never again.


This reminds me of the movie _Chasing Amy_ and that whole "I'm not your whore" scene.



etherealuntouaswithin said:


> Hmm...Idk,I dont think i'd be particularly moved by it.What matters is what is happening *Now*,In the moments that you and I share,have shared and will share.So,as long as she didn't speak of it all the time,I couldn't care less about what was done before we found each other.


And your response reminded me of this part of the movie:


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

@pinkrasputin I didn't care for the movie that much and I really don't like Ben Affleck, but I do like the message of the scene.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Fizz said:


> @pinkrasputin I didn't care for the movie that much and I really don't like Ben Affleck, but I do like the message of the scene.


Oh sorry. I just wanted a thread devoted to the movie. 

Continue.


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## viva (Aug 13, 2010)

Fizz said:


> *QUESTION FOR EVERYONE:*
> 
> I would also like to ask contributors, how would you feel if your SO had participated in a threesome in the past?
> 
> ...


The thought of my current SO having previously participated in a threesome just produced a gigglesnort.

Dammit, I wish I could contribute more to this thread. Hahaha


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Does being a proxy count?


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> Oh sorry. I just wanted a thread devoted to the movie.
> 
> Continue.


It is relevant to the topic though :crazy: I just can't handle the actress's voice sometimes. Who am I to complain, I don't like my voice either.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> Does being a proxy count?


How would that work with a threesome?


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Fizz said:


> How would that work with a threesome?


That's what I was asking you. _Technically_ it's not really a threesome if you're just standing in for someone else.

Also, what if the person you're standing in for isn't there, but is on webcam? 

We can get very technical with threesomes now a days.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> That's what I was asking you. _Technically_ it's not really a threesome if you're just standing in for someone else.
> 
> *Also, what if the person you're standing in for isn't there, but is on webcam?*
> 
> We can get very technical with threesomes now a days.


That's an excellent way to practice safe sex :crazy:

And I don't think a proxy would work because how can you stand in for someone but give credit to someone else? I'm sure somewhere, someone has done that.


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## Mysthalin (Apr 2, 2011)

Not only did I participate in a threesome, it was also where I lost my virginity. Seriously. I had not even been given a blowjob/handjob previous to that - only snogging.

It was two guys and one girl - and to be fair it was really quite a bit of fun. I did enjoy it a lot, even though it was just a teency bit awkward.

To be fair, one of the main reasons why I agreed to do it like that is for the pure shock factor the story of me losing my virginity has . Awesome when meeting new people(generally guys, of course) at flat parties and such .


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Fizz said:


> That's an excellent way to practice safe sex :crazy:
> 
> And I don't think a proxy would work because how can you stand in for someone but give credit to someone else? I'm sure somewhere, someone has done that.


If you (A) have sex with someone(B) for someone else(C) who watches on webcam.

Don't judge. Long distance relationships can be a bitch for certain people so they sometimes need proxies. :tongue:

Maybe this doesn't qualify as a "threesome". Maybe it's just a "funsome" ? :crazy:

All I know is, if you're my boyfriend and I say I want to see you sleep with someone else, _I don't love you._ And I'm probably also trying to get rid of you. 

I know 2 women who asked their husbands to bring in a 3rd at first. They were hiding the fact that they were already sleeping with someone else. It made them feel less guilty. But it destroyed the relationships eventually anyway.


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## Hokahey (Oct 8, 2010)

Would you be upset or jealous? Jealous a little maybe
Would you not mind? No
Would it turn you on/off? Neither
Would it matter who was involved? (Friends, strangers or # of males, # of females, # of other) Probably not, if it was two guys and she constantly thought about that idea I might have an issue. Again I don't share.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Fizz said:


> *QUESTION FOR EVERYONE:*
> 
> I would also like to ask contributors, how would you feel if your SO had participated in a threesome in the past?
> 
> ...


I broke up with a guy because he couldn't shut up about his threesome he had with his wife. It backfired on him big time apparently. It was a really sad story. But I wasn't above judging. 

I didn't break up with him because I was jealous, I broke up with him because I thought he was stupid.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> I broke up with a guy because he couldn't shut up about his threesome he had with his wife. It backfired on him big time apparently. It was a really sad story. But I wasn't above judging.
> 
> I didn't break up with him because I was jealous, I broke up with him because I thought he was stupid.


Stupid for having a threesome? Or just plain stupid?


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Fizz said:


> Stupid for having a threesome? Or just plain stupid?


Stupid for having a threesome while he was married. Stupid that he couldn't see through his ex wife's bullcrap because apparently it was "her idea". Stupid that he got "lured" into it. (She ended up sleeping with his best friend eventually). Stupid that there was a worry that he may have gotten the 3rd party pregnant (what?) Stupid that he couldn't foresee the problems it was going to cause in his relationship.

Stupid for telling me, because it's SO not a turn on for me. It only makes me anxious. Stupid for him not understanding I didn't want to hear about his wife's vagina. 

Just stupid. Stupid, stupid, STUPID. 

He regretted it big time. In fact he was the person who gave me the movie "Chasing Amy". I had never scene it before. But really the guy was stupid for telling me about all his drama. Ugh.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> Stupid for having a threesome while he was married. Stupid that he couldn't see through his wife's bullcrap. Stupid that he got "lured" into it. (She ended up sleeping with his best friend eventually). Stupid that there was a worry that he may have gotten the 3rd party pregnant (what?) Stupid that he couldn't foresee the problems it was going to cause in his relationship.
> 
> Stupid for telling me, because it's SO not a turn on for me. It only makes me anxious. Stupid for him not understanding I didn't want to hear about his wife's vagina.
> 
> ...


People like that make me want to strictly date people who can't speak my language and that I can't understand theirs.

We can get by on charades.


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## SlowPoke68 (Apr 26, 2010)

This should probably be cross-posted to the funny sex experiences thread, but here goes:

It was with a brunette and a blonde and both of them were my sister's bridesmaids. It happened in a hotel room after her wedding reception.

Or it didn't quite happen because blondie was a bit too inebriated to join in much, so she just kinda draped her arm over us and made gurgling noises while singing softly. Annoying. I scooted her to her side of the bed and tried to carry on with the brunette, but then blondie started rolling to the edge of the bed and I was concerned about her falling and getting hurt, so I grabbed her and tried to move her back to the center of the bed. Then the brunette started laughing and I got frustrated and the whole adventure fell apart.

So yeah, it's awkward and ruins relationships.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

SlowPoke68 said:


> Or it didn't quite happen because blondie was a bit too inebriated to join in much, so she just kinda draped her arm over us and made gurgling noises while singing softly.


I see no difference between this and the proxy situation I described.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

@SlowPoke68 You need to share more often.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

@pinkrasputin AH-HA! I get it, the proxy, I know how it works after you reply to SlowPoke68. If only one person in the threesome basically touching everyone else, and two don't touch each other at all... I can see how this would work. They're just sort of there, but not actively participating with everyone.


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## SlowPoke68 (Apr 26, 2010)

Fizz said:


> @SlowPoke68 You need to share more often.


Yes, I am such a shrinking violet. . . . ;-)


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

I'm curious about the one person who enjoyed the threesome. Have you shared yet?


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Fizz said:


> People like that make me want to strictly date people who can't speak my language and that I can't understand theirs.
> 
> We can get by on charades.


 Yeah. Who wants to hear someone else's sexual drama? That's what forums are for. :tongue:


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> Yeah. Who wants to hear someone else's sexual drama! That's what forums are for. :tongue:


I'm fine listening to friends and people online. But when I'm about to get down with someone, it's TOO distracting. Then I start thinking about it and then the whole mood is ruined.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Fizz said:


> I'm fine listening to friends and people online. But when I'm about to get down with someone, it's TOO distracting. Then I start thinking about it and then the whole mood is ruined.


Lol. My ex boyfriend would always say "because we know I'm the only guy you've ever been with". And I'd always respond "Yes sir!" or "Of course!" :wink: Haha. We were both divorced (him 3x). And he was 50 and had a grown daughter. :crazy:

Once you're a certain age, divorced and with kids it's pretty much accepted to have a past, but we just don't really need to talk about it. What is important is now. I'll be honest if asked, but I find that most guys don't really care. They know I'm not a whore or they wouldn't be with me.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> Lol. My ex boyfriend would always say "because we know I'm the only one you've ever been with". And I'd always respond "Yes sir!" or "Of course!" :wink: Haha. We were divorced (him 3x)and he was 50 and had a grown daughter. :crazy:
> 
> Once you're a certain age, divorced and with kids it's pretty much accepted to have a past, but we just don't really need to talk about it. What is important is now. I'll be honest if asked, but I find that most guys don't really care. They know I'm not a whore or they wouldn't be with me.


I think when people are around my age (in their 20s), they can be insecure, even if they plead that they aren't. I believe the insecurity stems from the possibility that they are jealous, feel inadequate, or inexperienced. So they take that situation and try to make the "experienced" partner feel guilty for what they have done.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Fizz said:


> I think when people are around my age (in their 20s), they can be insecure, even if they plead that they aren't. I believe the insecurity stems from the possibility that they are jealous, feel inadequate, or inexperienced. So they take that situation and try to make the "experienced" partner feel guilty for what they have done.


 Yeah, well I'm here to change all that. :crazy::laughing::tongue::crazy:


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## .jennifer. (Feb 11, 2011)

I have once. I answered, "I didn't enjoy it". It wasn't all bad, Its just I prefer meaningful sex and relationships. I enjoyed the spontanious idea of it. It was much too awkward for me. I prefer the meaning behind sex, not just the lust part of it.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

.jennifer. said:


> I have once. I answered, "I didn't enjoy it". It wasn't all bad, Its just I prefer meaningful sex and relationships. I enjoyed the spontanious idea of it. It was much too awkward for me. I prefer the meaning behind sex, not just the lust part of it.


If you don't mind divulging, what combo was it? FFM, MFM, FFF?

I understand why one-on-one is overall preferred, as it's more intimate for some. I'm sure others could argue that threesomes are more intimate to them than just two people, but they haven't spoken yet.


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## Aßbiscuits (Oct 8, 2009)

*Have you ever participate in a threesome?*

A lot of people see me as someone who's closed minded when it comes to sex (just because I have a sexual preference and I don't like pain and I think talking instead of moaning during sex is awkward, these are reasonable boundaries if you ask me) but I have in fact had a threesome. 

*What type was it?*

MFF (M stands for me! ). 

*Did you enjoy it?* 

It was awesome but confusing. I was young though (fifteen) so I wasn't sure about what to do, luckily one of the girls knew what to do and when I don't know what to do I get really, really flabbergast which is what happened until the experienced one told me what to do without it refraining it's sexiness. For the first half of it, it was a third wheel, at one stage one of the girls was just like a "page turner", taking off out clothes for us etc so I felt as though she was being left out a lot and that kind of spoiled it. It was just like she had first and second base the whole time until she swapped around. If that was me now I'd think of more things we could all do together and I wouldn't be afraid to express my sexual creativeness . Oh and one of the girls kept their bra on throughout which was weird. 

*Would you do it again?* 

If the opportunity came up again and I was single, definitely. I have a lot more experience now as well and maybe I can take charge this time. But not since discovering the strap-on strapless dildo  unless we could incoperate that into it, I'm sort of addicted. One of the girls was some sort of whorish "fluctuating" bisexual who leaned towards boys far more and the other one was straight, I'm just not interested in all that effort anymore of trying to get them into bed. Just thinking about it makes me feel drained of all energy and motivation. If there's sexy bis or lesbians who wanted to then hell yeah. For some reason I can't help but think this is unlikely.


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## Mysthalin (Apr 2, 2011)

Fizz said:


> I'm curious about the one person who enjoyed the threesome. Have you shared yet?


Yeah I have. Page 3 .


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Mysthalin said:


> Yeah I have. Page 3 .


I can't believe I missed your post. That is an incredibly interesting story. Thanks for sharing :happy:


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Aßbiscuits said:


> *Have you ever participate in a threesome?*
> 
> A lot of people see me as someone who's closed minded when it comes to sex (just because I have a sexual preference and I don't like pain and I think talking instead of moaning during sex is awkward, these are reasonable boundaries if you ask me) but I have in fact had a threesome.


A lot of people see me open minded when it comes to sex. But I have never had a threesome, nor would I ever desire one.


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## Aßbiscuits (Oct 8, 2009)

pinkrasputin said:


> A lot of people see me open minded when it comes to sex. But I have never had a threesome, nor would I ever desire one.


I think it's great that so many view threesomes this way. 

However I've actually denied doing it before (even when asked directly) because it made me feel sleazy for desiring such a thing. Goddam double standards. Admittedly I was surprised by people's reactions. I thought it would make me a legend, I couldn't have been more wrong. Now I don't think I could give less of a shit if people look down on me for enjoying something harmless.

I don't think I'd be able to have a three way while in a relationship though.


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## Third Engine (Dec 28, 2009)

To be honest, I've never had much interest in a threesome, and I'm a guy. It would just be pointless. If sex is lovemaking between two people, how does the third person? Does it become a love triangle? I'm not really into that, but that's my personal preference. I have no problems with other people doing it (as long as it's not the person I'm seeing).


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Aßbiscuits said:


> I think it's great that so many view threesomes this way.
> 
> *However I've actually denied doing it before (even when asked directly) because it made me feel sleazy for desiring such a thing. Goddam double standards*. Admittedly I was surprised by people's reactions. I thought it would make me a legend, I couldn't have been more wrong. Now I don't think I could give less of a shit if people look down on me for enjoying something harmless.
> 
> I don't think I'd be able to have a three way while in a relationship though.


The double standard is what bothers me. If someone is going to judge harshly, would they be harder on someone who had slept with a total of 5 people (only one-on-one) or harder on someone who slept with a total of 5 people (but one of those times was a threesome). It's the same amount but the context changes and lends to judgment.

If someone wants to judge me harshly for anything I've done, they can seriously go f*ck themselves. I'm not a fan of moral superiority and especially when it comes to something that doesn't harm anyone (well, sometimes emotions, but I'm not concerned about those).


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## Lyssah (Mar 30, 2010)

I've had the opportunity, but couldn't make myself go through with it.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Lyssah said:


> I've had the opportunity, but couldn't make myself go through with it.


What was it that stopped you?


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## jack london (Aug 27, 2010)

Fizz said:


> The title says it all, well, not really, it just gives you a general idea of where this is going, honey-buns. I'm starting this thread as I've seen "threesomes" mentioned occasionally in these threads, either because it's a fantasy or out of curiosity. I will add a poll so users who want to remain anonymous can put their opinion out there.
> 
> There are varying types of threesomes, there's MMF, FFM, FFF, and MMM (F=female, M=male). I can't speak for any other gender, as I unaware the acronym.
> 
> ...




Let see? Would you think less of me? Hmmm. Probably not so...

In college I was throwing a going away party and my soon to be roommate invited her cousin. that makes it FMF. 

It was more like one after another so it was more awkward pretending that no one knew what was going on. We were all in the same bed but the girls never touched each other. I think PJ (roommate) just wanted her cousin to see what college was like so that is why she let her stay and participate.

I'm too old and boring to do anything like that again.


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## Lyssah (Mar 30, 2010)

My pride really...

There was a boy I was really into, he was my BFFs next door neighbor in college...
We had been flirting for a few weeks and finally made out one night after coming home from the bar.
I went over to his house saturday night since he was having a house party hoping for more fun after everybody left...
While I was there he had struck up a flirtation with another girl. Since I'm pretty openminded I asked her if I could kiss her. she said yes and we kissed in front of him and about 10000 other people. 
He obviously liked it and after the kiss she was pretty friendly...but...he was mire into her that night than me. Since I was still hoping for fun I hung out until everyone left. He and her had started making out hardcore and it was getting really awkward for me and becoming an obvious third wheel situation. I started to leave and they both came up to me. She started kissing me and he stood behind me and began kissing my neck. 
She decided she wanted to go back to her place so they got in her car and drove to her place, I followed in my car...(they were trashed, wasn't going to ride w them).
When we got there they got out of the car and started making out in the parking garage. I had already started feeling like a third wheel and they were basically ignoring me so I begged off and went home.
I know its selfish but if I was going to do something like that, I needed a little more enthusiasm on their part...

Sorry so long.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Lyssah said:


> My pride really...
> 
> There was a boy I was really into, he was my BFFs next door neighbor in college...
> We had been flirting for a few weeks and finally made out one night after coming home from the bar.
> ...


It's understandable why you left. Your presence wasn't going to stop them from having sex, either way. If it was a take it or leave it attitude with me, I wouldn't want to stay. Desire is important, even in threesomes.


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## Halcy0n (Aug 24, 2009)

One of my (many) fantasies is sex with more than one person because I would love the feeling of double penetration, of many hands on me (rubbing smacking, ect) and the general frenzy that it might create. So, I would like to participate in a threesome someday...however, just the one time. I try my hardest not to be jealous, but to see someone enjoying sex with my SO would hurt me...it just would. I would do my best to hide it, especially if they wanted to experience sex with another, but it would suck. Then again, if I were to have a threesome, I would need to quell that feeling, because any SO I had might not exactly be crazy about seeing me have sex with another person either.

Eugh. I would enjoy it, but probably have some reservations at the same time. All the same, I would like to try it someday.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Halcy0n said:


> One of my (many) fantasies is sex with more than one person because I would love the feeling of double penetration, of many hands on me (rubbing smacking, ect) and the general frenzy that it might create. So, I would like to participate in a threesome someday...however, just the one time. I try my hardest not to be jealous, but to see someone enjoying sex with my SO would hurt me...it just would. I would do my best to hide it, especially if they wanted to experience sex with another, but it would suck. Then again, if I were to have a threesome, I would need to quell that feeling, because any SO I had might not exactly be crazy about seeing me have sex with another person either.
> 
> Eugh. I would enjoy it, but probably have some reservations at the same time. All the same, I would like to try it someday.


I understand your feeling of not wanting to share your partner too much. I think I would be fine with MFM, but sometimes I would be iffy about FFM. I can't say I would do that with a SO, I like being the focus. Anything with two guys, the female will be the focus and that is a turn-on. If it's FFM, I feel like I'm sharing the male. I'm not good with sharing.

I'm so distracted by the cat in your signature.


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## Halcy0n (Aug 24, 2009)

Fizz said:


> I understand your feeling of not wanting to share your partner too much. I think I would be fine with MFM, but sometimes I would be iffy about FFM. I can't say I would do that with a SO, I like being the focus. Anything with two guys, the female will be the focus and that is a turn-on. If it's FFM, I feel like I'm sharing the male. I'm not good with sharing.
> 
> I'm so distracted by the cat in your signature.


Ah, I would probably enjoy the FFM, though, because I go for girls too.  But I totally understand what you mean. It would be tough to share the SO with someone else and be generous in that way...hehe.

Ah, I love that cat.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Halcy0n said:


> Ah, I would probably enjoy the FFM, though, because I go for girls too.  But I totally understand what you mean. It would be tough to share the SO with someone else and be generous in that way...hehe.
> 
> Ah, I love that cat.


If the SO was my woman and then her and I shared a man, I could see that working. I wouldn't want a woman intruding upon a male SO and I. Weird how that works, I guess.


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## Halcy0n (Aug 24, 2009)

Fizz said:


> If the SO was my woman and then her and I shared a man, I could see that working. I wouldn't want a woman intruding upon a male SO and I. Weird how that works, I guess.



Can definitely agree here. Isn't that weird?! It's like we females are programmed to be suspicious/wary of other females in the vicinity of our men...but that's something I want to reject. :/ Jealousy isn't the greatest thing, that's for sure. A little goes a long way!


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## killerB (Jan 14, 2010)

I have never participated in a threesome. I have thought it would be interesting with an all female setup, however, I would not want to have someone that my wife or I would have to see again. So it would have to be a vacation fling type of thing, in another city.

I tend to be very open to new experiences and would be willing to try it, but my wife would have to be the one to bring it up. We did talk about fantasies when we first became intimate and was negotiating sexuality in our relationship (ah, life with an NT  ). We pretty much covered it all, to make sure we would both be satisfied sexually, and covered the threesome senario. She indicated that she was not interested in this, and I really don't care one way or another, so it never happened.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Halcy0n said:


> Can definitely agree here. Isn't that weird?! It's like we females are programmed to be suspicious/wary of other females in the vicinity of our men...but that's something I want to reject. :/ Jealousy isn't the greatest thing, that's for sure. A little goes a long way!


I'm glad someone understands my point :crazy: I have nothing against FMF, but it's just how the people are connected that would make a difference. I would be suspicious of her intentions, because it's not often that women just fling themselves toward a threesome couple. I would assume they have ulterior motives wiff mah man :angry: :tongue:


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## Halcy0n (Aug 24, 2009)

Fizz said:


> I'm glad someone understands my point :crazy: I have nothing against FMF, but it's just how the people are connected that would make a difference. I would be suspicious of her intentions, because it's not often that women just fling themselves toward a threesome couple. I would assume they have ulterior motives wiff mah man :angry: :tongue:


Heh, yes. At the same time, though, I feel compelled to reject that mindset...one, just to be different, and two, just because jealousy doesn't get you many places. Although I wouldn't blame someone AT ALL for feeling it, because it happens, I would want to stop myself from acting on it or showing it.


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## lifeisanillusion (Feb 21, 2011)

I had a SO that experienced a threesome before me and it didn't bother me. She use to tease me with it by not going into the details though.


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## JoetheBull (Apr 29, 2010)

Fizz said:


> *QUESTION FOR EVERYONE:*
> 
> I would also like to ask contributors, how would you feel if your SO had participated in a threesome in the past?
> 
> ...


I would be a little jealous. I pretty much have zero experience. so could make me depressed a little for reminding me .... light headiness is interfering with words.... sorry try to figure out late what I am trying to say
don't think I would. 
no idea
no idea


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

JoetheBull said:


> I would be a little jealous. I pretty much have zero experience. so could make me depressed a little for reminding me .... light headiness is interfering with words.... sorry try to figure out late what I am trying to say
> don't think I would.
> no idea
> no idea


Would you participate in a threesome? Or are you more or less concerned with what a future partner's stake in it?


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## Thrifty Walrus (Jul 8, 2010)

I haven't ever had a threesome myself, and I think I might with a couple strangers, but not with a SO. That tends to lead to jealousy, doubt, and trust issues in my mind.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Thrifty Walrus said:


> I haven't ever had a threesome myself, and I think I might with a couple strangers, but not with a SO. That tends to lead to jealousy, doubt, and trust issues in my mind.


Does it matter to you what sexes are involved? Such as, two females, one female + male.


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## ApplePixie (Mar 31, 2011)

MMF, and it was awesome.

one guy was my bf, the other friend i'd never met before but had talked alot with over phine internet ect.

i'm very adventurous, but i think it was made easiest because my bf had done things like that before meeting me. both guys were very very respectful.

we started out kinda like a date. they both took me out and spoiled me rotten. i felt very sexy, and very appreciated.

the actual threesome comprised of 90% foreplay.. the sex was good. there were lots of breaks for more foreplay and we were careful not to make me too 'tired'.

it was lots of fun, we filmed it, but i kept the only copy... i'd totally do it again.


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## abster (Feb 9, 2011)

never had a threesome. Its like a fantasy but it stops there. I wouldnt want to share my SO with anyone. To me it would be like a fantasy come true such as eating too much of the best and finest chocolate and feeling sick after, or having sex with the hottest guy in the world only to find out he may have stds or that he is a prick. For me, having a threesome would probably just end up in disaster in reality, being the monogamist that i am, i will get jealous, its just too weird with three ppl, whatever the combination maybe mmf, fff whatever. I cant do threesome casual sex either, ill just be paranoid about stds/stis, or what those ppl will be like after, are they going to be weird about it, will they pretend nothing happened, will they expect it to happen again? I think one person is enough or at least one at a time.


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## kindaconfused (Apr 30, 2010)

I would try an MMF/ FFM/ MFT, whatever. As long as the other two are relatively attractive and clean, I'm in.


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## Thrifty Walrus (Jul 8, 2010)

Fizz said:


> Does it matter to you what sexes are involved? Such as, two females, one female + male.


Hmmm, well for the SO it wouldn't matter, no kind of threesome would be cool with me.

For the casual one, I suppose either one would be fine, I'm more inclined to go with FFM, but I wouldn't completely rule out MMF either.


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## Tootsie (Mar 15, 2011)

Fizz said:


> I see there are a couple people that have participated in a threesome but didn't enjoy it. You can keep you anonymity, but I _am_ curious.


I voted that I have had one and I didn't really enjoy it. It was FFM and I didn't enjoy the lesbian aspect of it. I'm for certian not attracted to females and this just proved it to me.

I was very young...In my late teens and I think it was all just part of exploring my own sexuality.

No...I don't think that I would do it agian. First, my husband would never go for it. And if I ever did do it it would have have to be MMF. And even then I'm not sure. Gay men don't really turn me on. Maybe if they were both just interested in pleasing me and not each other??


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## Emerson (Mar 13, 2011)

MFF It was great, pretty awkward with my GF's mate for a bit afterwards though...


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## JoetheBull (Apr 29, 2010)

Fizz said:


> Would you participate in a threesome? Or are you more or less concerned with what a future partner's stake in it?


 I am more concerned with my future partner's stake in it. I will admit I am curious of what it would be like to be in a MFF threesome. But I am more concerned with having my curiosity of what regular one on one sex is like sated before concerning myself with something that is ungodly even more difficult.


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## Noble4 (Feb 1, 2011)

*Have/would you ever participate in a threesome?*
Nope. My friend gave me the opportunity not long ago.....but I was like "No Thanks"
He says the offer is there if I ever change my mind. 

I would maybe, probably, plausibly, do a threesome. If were talking about me , my significant, and someone else........yea alright. If she was ok with it. If she's not comfortable with it, no problem. Move on. It would really depend who the third person is though.

*What type was it/would you like (MMF, FFM, FFF, or MMM)?*
I'll do MMF, and FFM. If I accepted the offer mentioned above, it would be MMF.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Fizz said:


> *QUESTION FOR EVERYONE:*
> 
> I would also like to ask contributors, how would you feel if your SO had participated in a threesome in the past?
> 
> ...


I wouldn't be upset. I mean I wasn't involved in her life at the time maybe? If that's the case then alright. If I was her friend or I liked her a lot before getting together with her.....I would probably be a little jealous. I mean I think a lot of people would get jealous if their SO had done this. Like it's not a bad thing. It just....it shows you care you know? 
In honesty I don't like the thought of my SO being penetrated by another. If she did it with 2 random guy friends of her then I kinda would be bothered. Same thing with 1 guy 2 girls. But if me and her are doing it with someone else, then that jealousy can change to a turn on. I like the idea of pleasing my woman with another guy. It's so hot.
I don't know why but if she had a threesome with all females, then I wouldn't mind.......
It's just the guy being in there that bothers me. Or you could say it gets me jealous.

I mean overall I don't think It would bother me. If anything, she is with me now and that's all that matters. If she had a threesome......well then I'll just make sure I'm the best she ever had.


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## ApplePixie (Mar 31, 2011)

Tootsie said:


> if I ever did do it it would have have to be MMF. And even then I'm not sure. Gay men don't really turn me on. Maybe if they were both just interested in pleasing me and not each other??


thats the way we did it.


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## SyndiCat (Oct 2, 2010)

*how would you feel if your SO had participated in a threesome in the past?*

Annoyed.

*Would you be upset or jealous?*

It would stay in the back of my mind, always, lining it up with other past, current and possible future events. Why? Because her character then says something about her character now and any possible future character she may turn into.

*Would you not mind?*

I would, keep it in mind.

*Would it turn you off?*

If I'm reminded of it, yes.

*Would it matter who was involved?*

Yes. If I find out that it was with one of her male _""friends""_ today I'll break up with her, purely out of principle. "Yeah, you know my best friend Bob? I used to have threesomes with him back in the days." WTF?

This is pretty much as stupid as telling me she called her ex-boyfriend and talked about how she used to give him blowjobs back in the days (I'm referring this to a certain retard -- I once knew. Talk about being an imperceptive airhead).


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

SyndiCat said:


> *Would it matter who was involved?*
> 
> Yes. If I find out that it was with one of her male _""friends""_ today I'll break up with her, purely out of principle. "Yeah, you know my best friend Bob? I used to have threesomes with him back in the days." WTF?
> 
> This is pretty much as stupid as telling me she called her ex-boyfriend and talked about how she used to give him blowjobs back in the days (I'm referring this to a certain retard -- I once knew. Talk about being an imperceptive airhead).


I missed your post here. So you dated a girl who actually recollected to you on the subject matter of giving blowjobs to her ex?


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## SyndiCat (Oct 2, 2010)

@Fizz She had a long comfortable conversation with her ex on the phone where they reminisced about having sex together, then mentioned it to me as if their conversation was the most natural conversation in the world given our circumstances.


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## sparkles (Mar 2, 2011)

Fizz said:


> 1. Have/would you ever participate in a threesome?
> 
> 2. What type was it/would you like (MMF, FFM, FFF, or MMM)?
> 
> ...


 1. Yes, twice.

2. FMF both times. One time the actions and focuses were split evenly. Another time it was more like me and my female friend were involved and my then-SO was left out at my friend's preference. He could look but couldn't play with her. 

3. Meh not really. Too much happening. I like to fully engross myself in a sensory experience and it was harder to do that. The off-balance one I enjoyed as the way we divvied things up made it easier to focus on the experience, but I didn't enjoy it from an emotional standpoint as I thought my friend was not being very fun to stonewall my SO's participation, and it led to some tenseness in the SO relationship as he was understandably jealous that I was able to connect with her. It rocked the foundation of that SO relationship. That foundation was flimsy anyway. It's hard to pull off as an encounter for a pair bond without making drama. So, not appealing to me, since I'm not into hooking up now and don't care to invite drama.

4. Probably not. Not appealing to me now. Too much to keep track of and too easy for it to mess things up. It works better (imo) when there's not any romantic type attachment with a monogamous flavor. So three people who just want to hook up will work better than three people where two are bonded in a monogamous sort of way. It can easily lead to jealousy and insecurity and possessiveness and bad feelings if there's love among the participants - unless it's more like a poly triad or V but I think in terms of potential for ick feelings a triad would be better than a V.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

SyndiCat said:


> @Fizz She had a long comfortable conversation with her ex on the phone where they reminisced about having sex together, then mentioned it to me as if their conversation was the most natural conversation in the world given our circumstances.


Who...in the ... *shakes head* - I'm sorry but I hope you're not with this person and if you are, please look for someone who has some capacity of intelligence and social grace.


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## sparkles (Mar 2, 2011)

SyndiCat said:


> *how would you feel if your SO had participated in a threesome in the past?*
> 
> *Would you be upset or jealous?*
> 
> ...


 More questions, squee!

1. Indifferent. It's the past. As long as they were safe or I know my SO is free of disease I don't care what they did before.

2. Unlikely but possibly, depending on when I found out and whether they were still talking with participants and how much trust was established in the relationship when I discovered it. But unlikely. Oh, if they waved it around for the purpose of making me jealous (yes I can tell when someone does that), then I'd be upset with them for acting that way but not about the threesome. I'd not stay long with someone who would resort to such manipulation.

3. Probably no, I wouldn't mind. It would be incredibly hypocritical of me to take issue with it.

4. Not necessarily. I like positive sexuality, so this would potentially suggest to me that my partner has positive views of sexuality. If it turned out to be motivated by unhealthy views of sex that were not processed adequately, then yes it would.

5. Maybe would matter, probably wouldn't. Easier to accept with no trouble if it was a fling sort of thing, and I'd be likely to accept it anyway because I'm not insecure or jealous like I used to be. If it did matter to me, I would prefer that my partner be understanding and accepting of my need to work through it to be okay with it. That could mean, for example, expressing a desire that they stop interacting with the person for a brief time until I've processed my feelings, if one of the participants was a close friend they still see regularly and said relationship had strong sexual undertones. It would be really shitty of a partner if I expressed this desire and they ignored it. But it's on me to communicate whatever I would need to be okay with it, if I needed anything to be okay with it.

I don't think it would matter, though. All depends on the circumstances, and like I said, it's about the past, and as long as the relationship of today is healthy and I can trust my partner to honor my preferences or make an effort to meet my needs when I communicate them, I don't think it would matter who it was.


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## ApplePixie (Mar 31, 2011)

> Originally Posted by SyndiCat
> how would you feel if your SO had participated in a threesome in the past?
> 
> Would you be upset or jealous?
> ...


1) when i found out my So had participated in a threesome prior to meeting me, it freaked me out a bit. or a lot. the worst bit for me was that the girl involved (MMF) had a boyfriend that wasn't present. since having threesomes with my SO that have been, well really lovely, i'm ok that he had them before me. but the nature of the one he had, concerns me in regard to his moral judgement. if she had a bf who didn't know, why would be do those things with her... you know??

2) i don't really get jealous. my SO has been with alot of people prior to meeting me. it was something i had to come to terms with, knowing that he has had a threesome makes no difference to me.

3) i wouldn't mind

4) it turned me off knowing that she was cheating, and that he was happy to do those things to her because she 'liked' that her bf had no idea... its sickening to me

5) yes, i'm grateful that his threesome wasn't with any of his ex's. especially one he is still friends with. even though my SO and i have had a threesome, i wouldn't want to feel like because one or more of his ex's were up to it, then i should be too.... i'm glad it was never an issue, and our threesome was just about us.


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## kiwigrl (Apr 27, 2010)

No I haven't and won't.


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## napoleon227 (Jan 17, 2010)

I tried it twice, both times long before I was married. The first time my (then) girlfriend and I recruited another male friend of ours to participate but before things got serious, he passed out. So the two of us just shrugged and carried on alone. That one doesn't really count.

The second time was with two good friends, male and female (not a couple) and that time it worked and we all had a lot of fun. There were no hard feelings afterward and no problems resulted from it, so it was a positive experience.

I'm very open-minded and secure in my sexuality but I probably wouldn't try this again (although my wife and I have flirted and teased others before, just nothing happened). I don't like the dynamic of three people because one will usually feel awkward, especially if the other two are a couple. I think it's unfortunate that so many people seem hung up about this, but that's the way it seems to be.

We also tried swapping partners with another couple once. They were good friends, but not much ended up happening. We had a good time and laughed a lot about it but the other couple seemed to have a hard time dealing with it afterward (although we are all still friends). More hang ups... Oh well.

One thing that does bother me about this, and why I was hesitant to post this (and might still regret it) is that I really resent being judged. Some people simply don't want to believe that we're both open-minded and don't get hung up or bent out of shape about sharing a little bit of ourselves with others, or they just think it's wrong. To each their own. We don't do this type of thing every day, and obviously if and when it happens, it's with people we both like and trust. I just can't understand how this sort of thing should cause a couple to break up, but that's me. Most people I know seem extremely insecure when it comes to their own sexuality, and I think it's unfortunate. Just my $0.02.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

napoleon227 said:


> I'm very open-minded and secure in my sexuality but I probably wouldn't try this again (although my wife and I have flirted and teased others before, just nothing happened). I don't like the dynamic of three people because one will usually feel awkward, especially if the other two are a couple. I think it's unfortunate that so many people seem hung up about this, but that's the way it seems to be.


I think it's an experience that some just can't miss out on. It's great to read that your experience was positive. Even if it hadn't been, you won't look back on it and have regrets about what you may "miss out" on. Others may look at it with judgment and distaste, but that's their problem. They can judge you on based on morals, but it shouldn't effect you. As you said, people have hang ups that they just can't get over.




> One thing that does bother me about this, and why I was hesitant to post this (and might still regret it) is that I really resent being judged. Some people simply don't want to believe that we're both open-minded and don't get hung up or bent out of shape about sharing a little bit of ourselves with others, or they just think it's wrong. To each their own. We don't do this type of thing every day, and obviously if and when it happens, it's with people we both like and trust. I just can't understand how this sort of thing should cause a couple to break up, but that's me. Most people I know seem extremely insecure when it comes to their own sexuality, and I think it's unfortunate. Just my $0.02.


I'm glad you shared, I know a lot of members have been hesitant to be so open. As I mentioned above, I wouldn't take anything negative others say to heart. I think it's great when people embrace their sexuality and share with consenting partner or partners.


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## ApplePixie (Mar 31, 2011)

napoleon227 said:


> I tried it twice, both times long before I was married. The first time my (then) girlfriend and I recruited another male friend of ours to participate but before things got serious, he passed out. So the two of us just shrugged and carried on alone. That one doesn't really count.
> 
> The second time was with two good friends, male and female (not a couple) and that time it worked and we all had a lot of fun. There were no hard feelings afterward and no problems resulted from it, so it was a positive experience.
> 
> ...


Thank you, 

do you think the relationship dynamics that you and your wife have are much different from the relationships that can't experience the same things without getting 'hung up' or do you think that this capacity exists separately from that?

i only ask, cos you guys sound like you have it sorted. my SO are only 2 years old and just getting serious... i'm interested in how you guys are.


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## Neon Knight (Aug 11, 2010)

I said 'Yes but depends.' Explanation: I'm open to a MFM 3some quite easily but since I've never been with a female alone it might be awkward for a first 3some to be FMF for me if I had to have any sexual contact with the other F. I'm not opposed to it however, but I would prefer my first 3some to be MFM.


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## napoleon227 (Jan 17, 2010)

Fizz said:


> I think it's an experience that some just can't miss out on. It's great to read that your experience was positive. Even if it hadn't been, you won't look back on it and have regrets about what you may "miss out" on. Others may look at it with judgment and distaste, but that's their problem. They can judge you on based on morals, but it shouldn't effect you. As you said, people have hang ups that they just can't get over.
> 
> I'm glad you shared, I know a lot of members have been hesitant to be so open. As I mentioned above, I wouldn't take anything negative others say to heart. I think it's great when people embrace their sexuality and share with consenting partner or partners.


Well, you know, life is just a bowl of cherries, and you just have to spit the fucking pits out. What's the big deal? :crazy:

But seriously, I don't think I take it to heart so much as it irritates me that people feel so sure that their hangups should be mine. Many people really believe that these feelings of jealousy and awkwardness that they have are inherent human traits, when really they are not. Anyone who's read, for example, Margaret Mead's classic _Coming of Age in Samoa_ or any number of books by Havelock Ellis, or the Kinsey Report (let alone any _modern_ research) would realize that attitudes about sexuality are a product of society.

Not that I wanna get all academic on ya - I understand that peoples feelings are their feelings and every one of them is valid for that person. But I just think it's unfortunate that there is so much anxiety surrounding these issues that cause people a great deal of pain unnecessarily.



ApplePixie said:


> Thank you,
> 
> do you think the relationship dynamics that you and your wife have are much different from the relationships that can't experience the same things without getting 'hung up' or do you think that this capacity exists separately from that?
> 
> i only ask, cos you guys sound like you have it sorted. my SO are only 2 years old and just getting serious... i'm interested in how you guys are.


I'm really not sure about the relationship dynamics of other couples because it's impossible to know, but I'd like to think that this capacity exists separate from that. I'm no scientist, but I spend a fair amount of time in various marriage and relationship forums reading what real people have to say about their own dynamics. One thing that seems apparent is that the myths and stereotypes that are so commonly believed are just not true. The variability of experience seems really wide based on what I've read.

All I can tell you with certainty is that it's very important to know each others boundaries and to not cross them or try to push them. That means if you like to experiment, you have to have a willing and open-minded partner or else you'll have trouble. So many people have mentioned either experiencing or fearing jealousy or possessiveness that it always has to be a consideration, even if you yourself don't feel that way.

I'll add one more thing, since you asked how we are. We don't have an "open" relationship. I know some people do, and that's cool, but for us it's all about shared experience, the same way we would (and do) try different bottles of wine or experiment with different foods. They're just no fun unless they are shared. The physical act of sex by itself, has no particular interest for us. It's not about that. That's why I don't think we would ever consider "sharing" with anyone we didn't know and trust.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

napoleon227 said:


> Well, you know, life is just a bowl of cherries, and you just have to spit the fucking pits out. What's the big deal? :crazy:
> 
> But seriously, I don't think I take it to heart so much as it irritates me that people feel so sure that their hangups should be mine. Many people really believe that these feelings of jealousy and awkwardness that they have are inherent human traits, when really they are not. Anyone who's read, for example, Margaret Mead's classic _Coming of Age in Samoa_ or any number of books by Havelock Ellis, or the Kinsey Report (let alone any _modern_ research) would realize that attitudes about sexuality are a product of society.
> 
> *Not that I wanna get all academic on ya* - I understand that peoples feelings are their feelings and every one of them is valid for that person. But I just think it's unfortunate that there is so much anxiety surrounding these issues that cause people a great deal of pain unnecessarily.


That's never a problem, I totally agree. I think a lot of people are ethnocentric and want to assume that their society's way is the only way to conduct life. There's some coming of age rituals in other cultures that would make most Westerners retch and scream. I would give examples, but I don't know the maturity level of the lurkers here.

I've used Margaret Mead as an example before on gender roles, so I'm aware of some of her work. I'm highly interested in cultural anthropology and human sexuality (Kinsey). They're some of my favorite subjects to learn about.


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## napoleon227 (Jan 17, 2010)

Fizz said:


> I would give examples, but I don't know the maturity level of the lurkers here.


LMAO! Too funny. But I'm interested, maybe you could send me some by PM sometime - my knowledge of anthropology is limited but I find it fascinating.



> I've used Margaret Mead as an example before on gender roles, so I'm aware of some of her work. I'm highly interested in cultural anthropology and human sexuality (Kinsey). They're some of my favorite subjects to learn about.


Me too. If you are interested in the early development of sex research, check out _The Sex Researchers_ by Edward M. Brecher, 1969. Certainly a lot has been learned since then, but it's really interesting to find out how much people like Havelock Ellis had discovered as early as the late nineteenth century. Kinsey merely confirmed a lot of what Ellis had discovered decades before (although the book has interesting chapters on Kinsey and Masters & Johnson as well). The really sad thing is that though Ellis was a true pioneer in this field and he was very open-minded and non-judgmental, he himself was never able to enjoy sex in his own life with the people who loved him due to the overwhelming influence of Victorian social mores - even though he was aware that they were wrong, he could never escape the sexual repression of his own time. I think that goes to show how much society and our environment can influence our thinking on these things.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

I said no, not interested, then I thought more, and decided maybe I should have picked "depends," because it depends on whether having someone watch and direct the experience counts as that person participating. I had someone do that once, back in my more experimental days. 

I'm definitely not into the idea of threesomes, and don't plan to have any.


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## Stephen (Jan 17, 2011)

Fizz said:


> Have/would you ever participate in a threesome?


I have not. I'm not interested. I only make enough room in my heart, head, and bed for one woman.



Fizz said:


> I would also like to ask contributors, how would you feel if your SO had participated in a threesome in the past?
> 
> Would you be upset or jealous?
> Would you not mind?
> ...


While I don't relate to jealousy anyway, I really can't understand feeling jealous over something like this that happened before you were part of that person's life. What someone has been or done in the past has everything to do with the person they've become, but what the person has become is my only concern, because that's who I'm with. As long as that resulting person is right for me, how they got there is not going to be something they'll get shit from me over. I've been surprised how often women have told me things from their past and expected me to run from them over it.



pinkrasputin said:


> This reminds me of the movie _Chasing Amy_ and that whole "I'm not your whore" scene.


Oh, great film. Hit me like a Greek tragedy. Quick short story here, I first saw that movie with my mother (ISTJ 1w9 I think) in the room, and after the big tragic ending, I was feeling so disappointed because of what Holden had discarded. I said to my mother, "wow, can you believe that?" And she says, "I know! Why would he want to be with a woman with a history like that?" I was so stunned at the difference in lesson that she and I had learned that I couldn't respond.



pinkrasputin said:


> If you (A) have sex with someone(B) for someone else(C) who watches on webcam.
> 
> Don't judge. Long distance relationships can be a bitch for certain people so they sometimes need proxies. :tongue:


Thanks for sharing this. It's a new concept that I will think of every time I have to reset the proxy on my mailbox on work. Things are going to get more interesting in my office.



pinkrasputin said:


> All I know is, if you're my boyfriend and I say I want to see you sleep with someone else, _I don't love you._ And I'm probably also trying to get rid of you.


Yeah. When an ex came to me with that conversation starter, it was definitely the beginning of the end.
If you wish to get rid of a boyfriend, why not simply break up with him?


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## pretty.Odd (Oct 7, 2010)

I have never and probably never will participate in a threesome. The idea of a threesome is pretty hot but if I was actually involved in one, it would be extremely awkward. It's hard enough for me to be physical with one person, adding another person in the mix will make the whole situatuion quite unbearable.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

I suppose I forgot to clarify why I'm not into threesomes. I think my previous post might have given the wrong impression.

I'm not into threesomes because I wouldn't be able to be in love with two people equally, and because a polyamorous marriage situation would be extremely awkward to me. At this point, I don't plan to have sex with anyone I don't intend to keep for life. Also, I wouldn't want my partner to love the other partner more than he loved me, but if he loved her less, I would empathize with her and I would feel bad anyhow.


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