# The Internal Ramblings Of An ISFJ



## Tripwire_Desire (Jul 8, 2017)

I've often thought about doing this before... but never really took the time to choose my words and patiently transfer them from thought to empty canvas. Today, I'm choosing this time to transfer my thoughts (and feelings) to an empty canvas on an online personality forum. Why? I don't know. But maybe... just maybe, some good will come of it that I'm not yet aware of.

The year is 2020 and the month we currently live in is June. We reside in a world where racial tensions are at an all time high, corona virus (or Covid19) is killing the ignorant (and the arrogant) by the hundreds, and social justice warriors run amok (oftentimes just making bad things even worse). In the meantime, I sit here before you, on my laptop... attempting to "reflect" on the mere existence of a single soul's "struggles". Struggles which are detrimental to the mental health of an individual, but in no way, shape or form detrimental on a physical level... unless you take into consideration the factor of 'suicide'; which in part, is carried out on a physical level... but is manifested on an intense mental level.

I am currently 34-years of age. I work as a security guard and I work the night shift at an undisclosed location. The facility is empty, except for me of course, and the only thing I can hear at the moment is the air conditioning bouncing off the windows from the front lobby entryway. I just got back from a foot patrol in which I have a tendency to think, and overthink, about things as I check the overall integrity of the building and just about all of it's contents. One thing I often find myself ruminating about is the unnecessarily traumatic experiences I was forced to endure as a 14-year old child while going to school. I think about a particular girl I developed feelings for. I think about how much I thought of her then and how things really haven't changed now that It's 20 years down the line. I think of how little she must of thought of me and how she never thinks of me now. I think about the "bullies" I've encountered during that particular time frame. I think of the "teachers" and how they really weren't any different then the pieces of crap that were supposed to be my supposed "cohorts". I think of my co-workers and how my sense of professionalism seems to exceed them all combined.

These things (all but the last one of course) happened to me over 20 years ago and yet they all seem to reside within me as if I had experienced them just yesterday. It's humbling, yet nerve-racking simultaneously. I strangely find peace (and solidarity) in thinking about these things, yet they cause me great dismay at the same time.


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## Neetee (Sep 24, 2019)

Internet Forums Are, Generally Speaking, Long Dead; Don’t Do Them



Tripwire_Desire said:


> Today, I'm choosing this time to transfer my thoughts (and feelings) to an empty canvas on an online personality forum.


Writing down your thoughts clarifies them and turns them into objects of your critical examination, and interactivity admits additional examiners. You could limit yourself to thinking about one topic per night and then write about it the next day. With more than 1,000 posts you probably already know that multi-topic threads are unpopular here because they are not ideal for small talk, and that there are not many posters left. Beware of further frustration experiences, you can't afford them. I guess you already know these sites which are more targeted to the discussion of psychological problems:

Psychcentralforums
Psychforums








> I think of my co-workers and how my sense of professionalism seems to exceed them all combined.


Very SJ.



> social justice warriors run amok (oftentimes just making bad things even worse)


Demanding submission is indeed a very effective way of ruining a cause.


I see the following *problem areas*:

1) Suffering from being stuck in the past

2) Suffering from your experiences as a 14-year old boy:

a) Your crush

b) Your peers

c) Your teachers

3) Suffering from your job:



> The facility is empty, except for me of course, and the only thing I can hear at the moment is the air conditioning bouncing off the windows from the front lobby entryway. I just got back from a foot patrol in which I have a tendency to think, and overthink, about things as I check the overall integrity of the building and just about all of it's contents.


a) Your job doesn't satisfy you (“check … just about all of it's contents” – you are a Feeler in a building full of things but empty of people: DESERTED.)

b) And again no connection to your peers

4) Suffering from or, in less dramatic terms, lack of enthusiasm for the current political situation, probably as the quintessence of the world around you

5) Suicidal thoughts as a result of the deserted world only filled with traumatic memories which contribute to further disconnection = alienation from your environment


*You urgently need:*

A) A dog who loves you 

B) A girlfriend

C) Friends who are more than glorified acquaintances

D) A job without night and weekend work in order to get B) and C)

E) A job that is satisfying because it requires most of your skills (→ flow experience)

F) A job with coworkers you care about and who care about you










G) A list of your talents that you would like to use in your job

H) A list of people who can help you with A) to I), H) included

I) Psychoanalysis to cope with your past, or a functional equivalent


I think it is best for you to begin writing about the topics 2) a – c.


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## Tripwire_Desire (Jul 8, 2017)

You've given me much to think about. Thank you.


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