# Anxiety about sleep with sleep deprivation



## bearlybreathing (Aug 6, 2013)

I need some advice on this. I've been averaging 25-30 hours of sleep per week with lots of all nighters for the past two months (caused by a bipolar mixed episode) and lately when I start to fall asleep I start to panic and wake up. If I force myself to keep my eyes closed the anxiety just gets worse, like my anxiety's already pretty high but now that every time I shut my eyes and start to drift off I pop up like a fucking jack in a box feeling like I'm alone covered in salmon in front of a grizzly bear without bear spray or a gun or anything, I don't have much hope for getting over this episode any time soon. My nurse practitioner says to just take temazepam but that actually makes the sleep anxiety worse and it doesn't get me any more sleep either.

Any ideas or suggestions or thoughts? Any clue why this is happening? It happened with my last manic episode in January/February too but also a couple times at the end of last year when I was stable so I don't know the cause.


----------



## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

I'm no mental health expert and I would never recommend any course of action that wasn't also sanctioned by one. Have you explained to your NP that the Temazepam is making it worse? 
If you don't tell them, they can't help you.


----------



## bearlybreathing (Aug 6, 2013)

tanstaafl28 said:


> I'm no mental health expert and I would never recommend any course of action that wasn't also sanctioned by one. Have you explained to your NP that the Temazepam is making it worse?
> If you don't tell them, they can't help you.


I haven't had a chance to explain that the med's making it worse. I think I just realized that a couple nights ago and I'm waiting for them to call me and tell me I'm allowed to make an appointment.
I'm not looking for advice only a doctor could give out btw. Just looking for like, idk, thoughts I haven't thought of relating to this because it's weird to me just started having it last year.


----------



## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

bearlybreathing said:


> I haven't had a chance to explain that the med's making it worse. I think I just realized that a couple nights ago and I'm waiting for them to call me and tell me I'm allowed to make an appointment.
> I'm not looking for advice only a doctor could give out btw. Just looking for like, idk, thoughts I haven't thought of relating to this because it's weird to me just started having it last year.


Do you think maybe the pandemic has driven your anxiety? I know it has mine. My doc put me on Wellbutrin recently. I've had low-grade depression and ADHD all my life.


----------



## Celtsincloset (Feb 17, 2014)

You’re being way to reactive to your thoughts, it has come to this point. My advice is this, just stop thinking about sleep, and the whole dilemma you’ve created, and do this in a progressive way. You may be a victim of overthinking, and it does prevent people from sleeping, because when there’s bigger issues it is harder to sleep because your constantly thinking, conscious and therefore awake.

It’s poor time management, you need to push back thinking about bothersome things until after your rest: when you feel good and healthy.

When I lack sleep, I feel like sh*t, and therefore my thoughts are kind of negative, but not too negative, I’m upset amongst other things. And it actually becomes harder to sleep when I’m deprived of sleep for a day, because my body is more sore, especially when I’m suffering IBS, it’s hard to get into a comfortable position in bed. It takes time for my body to adjust, but it will, and therefore the only thing that stops me from sleeping in the end, is overthinking. About sleep, and about the dilemma, which causes me to over complicate things. There is no need.

Accept your feelings, save the bigger thoughts for when you feel healthier and stronger, and progressively stop over thinking.


----------



## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

Have you tried guided meditations for relaxation or sleep?

These are a couple that I used a lot for going to sleep--especially the first one. I have an app called "Lets Meditate" that used to have them.


----------



## MsMojiMoe (Apr 7, 2021)

I’ve been suffering from insomnia since I was 6. I’ve been to so many sleep studies and institutes. But mine isn’t from anxiety or depression. They tried to push depression on me but I was like I have interested and stuff I just can’t sleep. And until I was 33 my average sleep 20-40 hours a month. Yes a month. It was very normal to go whole weeks with no sleep. I could barely speak, seeing double or things just floating like street signs (stop sign) would be floating in the middle of the road or i would see it on the complete opposite side on the road.I couldn’t even dial a phone.

nothing ever worked …the meds only worked for a month or two and it would still take me a couple hours to fall asleep. And if I did fall asleep half the time I would be shocked awake. i had to create my own world…as I lay there trying to fall asleep….I wasn’t thinking about stuff that bothered me or anything.

i now sleep about 3-4 hours a day, usually. And I’m good with this. I have no problem with only this amount.

I know yours is different, so it may not worked for me but it might for you …

1.
melatonin….with a prescription, high grade and more effected, but the over the counter stuff is ok….for me it still took hours to fall sleep (so take it early), but when I did I really went in deep and didn’t wake up, also, for some reason gives really awesome dreams (I usually do, anyways), but I heard other ppl say this, too. I was very groggy for hours after waking up and couldnt shake it….so it’s even harder to get up in the morning

2.
*polyphasic sleep (sleep serval times of days)*
This is what I do now. I don’t sleep all at once, I basically take naps like an hour and half here, 45 mins there etc. This is common in mammals.

also, during all my sleep tests I endured……they decided I’m a 3rd shifter meaning I sleep best and deep between the hours 7am-9am ( 3rd shifter are hours between 5am-12pm). Some ppl just have different rhythms (but this seems new for you) so it’s probably not this

also, if you are really serious….. I call it torture, it didn’t help me but mine is very different …so this might help you get back your sleep rhythm…..but you have to make yourself….I had to do it for 6 months before ….well, it was bad, but it has worked for many others, but my insomnia they never did figure what caused it.

3.
anyway….you have to set up a time schedule for yourself
so, you get about 3 hours of sleep now …then pick a time window where you only let yourself get 4-5 hours( you will slowly add more time)

example: I had to go to bed everyday at 2:30am, not before keeping myself awake all day no matter how tired I got. Then I always had to get up at 7:30am no matter what, even if I just fell asleep, or didn’t sleep at all, I still had to get up and keep myself up until 2:30am and repeat.

the idea is to tired your body out so your body will get use to sleeping at those hours and will start to associate that time with sleep. As you become able to sleep those hours you can add more time, but only to the front ….like instead of going to bed at 2:30, you can now go to bed at 1:30. And so on. 

Also, when awake, *spend as little time in the place where you sleep, don’t sit on your bed*…spend as little time in your room (assuming that’s where you sleep), you want your brain to only associate this place with sleep. Basically re training your brain. Don’t confuse it

it’s not fun and very hard, but when you don’t sleep it’s madness, and I was willing to try anything to stop the madness Even torture, I used to say, the differences between madness and insanity is that in madness you can feel your mind turning back on itself, where in insanity you not even aware that you’ve gone insane.

I remember once I hadn’t slept for weeks maybe an hour or two, but I was so desperate to sleep I would cry begging god to let me sleep, I remember this one time I had fallen asleep and I started to hav3 this nightmare and it kinda woke me up but I remember saying to god ….please let me sleep and would gladly dream the nightmare, just let me sleep.


----------



## islandlight (Aug 13, 2013)

My sympathies. I had insomnia for most of my life (since childhood) but not the bipolar. 

When you do sleep, can you stay asleep? If so, maybe you're nocturnal and could consider changing your work hours. Maybe you can change your lifestyle in other ways too, although I know it's not always possible.

With melatonin, I read that the dosage has to be pretty exact for each person. If you take too much, it can have the opposite effect and leep you awake. Apparently the over-the-counter pills contain way too much, so you could get a pill cutter and try cutting them in quarters or eighths.

I really hope you find a solution.


----------



## lilysocks (Nov 7, 2012)

Also not a mental health pro, and with diagnosed bipolar in there it's probably even more important you get that kind of care.

But with that said, is it possible your mania is the thing sabotaging/freaking out at the idea of sleep? I don't think major mental illness should be anthropomorphised, but it does sound like the way some aa-ers formulate their addiction as a distinct separate entity with agency and an agenda of its own. 'your addiction wants you to... ' sounds like your mania doesn't 'want' you to fall asleep.


----------



## BlackGoat26 (Jun 24, 2021)

I've known my friend since 3rd grade, when I transferred to his school. We've been friends all our lives, he's my best friend. When we were 16 years old we tried pot for the first time. Afterwards, we smoked it a lot for six months (smoked 3-4 times a week). At the age of 17 my friend started to feel much worse than before. He wasn't sleeping well, didn't want to do anything, panic attacks became part of his life. I should add that my friend's parents are divorced and live in a 4 bedroom apartment. The family includes his grandmother (now deceased), his mother, his sister, her daughter, and occasionally his sister's boyfriend lived there. Eventually we stopped talking for six months because my friend, being unable to convince his mom that he needed treatment (she couldn't believe it), started running to doctors himself and finding out. He was on different medications, then they took him to a mental institution and he was there for 3 months. He was injected with terrible things. When I saw him, his face looked like a dead man who hadn't seen the sun in 10 years. His eyes were frowning and his voice was sad. Surprisingly, he's much better now, thanks in large part to the fact that he's started doing yoga and getting outside more. People aren't nice everywhere, but if you pay attention to everyone, life is no fun. I recently found out that he bought himself a new mattress. He says he's sleeping a lot better. I decided to give it a try, too. The problem is that I never understood the difference between an expensive mattress and a cheap one. I found a website that explained the difference between mattresses. Without thinking long, I also decided to buy a quality mattress and have not regretted it. I bought a relatively inexpensive mattress. I will not recommend, because everyone fits his own mattress.


----------



## bearlybreathing (Aug 6, 2013)

In case anyone was curious here's a follow up:
I talked to my treatment team (kinda, anyways) and they say it's a mania thing and I have an appointment in three weeks (earliest "emergency" appointment) to talk directly to my med provider. The nurse really wants me hospitalized because she doesn't think I can make another three weeks safely as I have a pretty extensive history of doing stupid things. The lady covering for my med provider said to double my lithium which I started two days ago and now I've slept both nights (about 3 hours each), I still panic, but I can fall asleep just not stay asleep so I guess it's an improvement.


----------



## Scoobyscoob (Sep 4, 2016)

bearlybreathing said:


> I need some advice on this. I've been averaging 25-30 hours of sleep per week with lots of all nighters for the past two months (caused by a bipolar mixed episode) and lately when I start to fall asleep I start to panic and wake up. If I force myself to keep my eyes closed the anxiety just gets worse, like my anxiety's already pretty high but now that every time I shut my eyes and start to drift off I pop up like a fucking jack in a box feeling like I'm alone covered in salmon in front of a grizzly bear without bear spray or a gun or anything, I don't have much hope for getting over this episode any time soon. My nurse practitioner says to just take temazepam but that actually makes the sleep anxiety worse and it doesn't get me any more sleep either.
> 
> Any ideas or suggestions or thoughts? Any clue why this is happening? It happened with my last manic episode in January/February too but also a couple times at the end of last year when I was stable so I don't know the cause.





bearlybreathing said:


> In case anyone was curious here's a follow up:
> I talked to my treatment team (kinda, anyways) and they say it's a mania thing and I have an appointment in three weeks (earliest "emergency" appointment) to talk directly to my med provider. The nurse really wants me hospitalized because she doesn't think I can make another three weeks safely as I have a pretty extensive history of doing stupid things. The lady covering for my med provider said to double my lithium which I started two days ago and now I've slept both nights (about 3 hours each), I still panic, but I can fall asleep just not stay asleep so I guess it's an improvement.


Well, I'm by no means an expert on sleep and anxiety, but do you have the basics covered? Like getting enough exercise throughout the day so that you're tired enough to fall asleep, going to bed in a relaxed state (read a book or watch some TV beforehand), going to bed at the same time every night, try to relieve your anxiety? I've had problems with insomnia since I was fairly young and I find that not eating anything close to bedtime, keeping a regular sleep schedule and going to bed relaxed are the only things that work consistently. When it comes to anxiety, sometimes the only way to get through it, is to just ride out whatever wave you're being hit with. :\

Definitely keep us updated as to how you're doing though!


----------



## bearlybreathing (Aug 6, 2013)

I haven't slept in like four days (unless you want to count closing my eyes and opening them by the time whatever song I'm listening to is over as sleep) and I'm so fucking amped it's not funny. I temporarily give up on sleep. I exercise most days (injured atm so no 10 mile runs or kickboxing but I'm pushing it as much as I can), typically do a little bit of journaling and then some reading before bedtime- which when people aren't sprinkling my food with amphetamines is around 9:30-10pm. I can see things that other people can't see and I'm hearing whispering even when I'm alone. Tomorrow's gonna be a fun drive and chat with the nurse. If she wanted to get me admitted two weeks ago, she's really gonna push it now. The thing is now I don't want to sleep at all, I don't need it clearly.


----------



## bearlybreathing (Aug 6, 2013)

Well I was admitted. Mania mostly quelled, sleeping better now.


----------



## Ace Of Forests (Aug 22, 2021)

bearlybreathing said:


> I need some advice on this. I've been averaging 25-30 hours of sleep per week with lots of all nighters for the past two months (caused by a bipolar mixed episode) and lately when I start to fall asleep I start to panic and wake up. If I force myself to keep my eyes closed the anxiety just gets worse, like my anxiety's already pretty high but now that every time I shut my eyes and start to drift off I pop up like a fucking jack in a box feeling like I'm alone covered in salmon in front of a grizzly bear without bear spray or a gun or anything, I don't have much hope for getting over this episode any time soon. My nurse practitioner says to just take temazepam but that actually makes the sleep anxiety worse and it doesn't get me any more sleep either.
> 
> Any ideas or suggestions or thoughts? Any clue why this is happening? It happened with my last manic episode in January/February too but also a couple times at the end of last year when I was stable so I don't know the cause.


Is someone mixing anti-depressants into your stream? Those usually are SSRIs, and mania is usually caused by being too 'high' on serotonin. This can be from diet, anti-depressants, caffeine, sugar or recreational drugs like weed and other stuff I don't feel like verifying for this post. If your salmon is prescribed an anti-depressant, then ask your doctor about a mood stabilizer. I personally have had great success on Depakote, and have been sleeping shorter, restful nights instead of 9 hours of restlessness


----------

