# Ne Exercises for a Depressed INFP stuck in the FiSi loop. Help appreciated.



## Ishiko (Dec 31, 2009)

Hi Everyone, ENFP here! 
*
STRAIGHT TO THE POINT: *I would love some suggestions on ways to exercise Extraverted Intuition, in ways that are fairly benign so that they do not impede on the sensitive Fi of a developing INFP. 

*Here is why I am asking:* I have a close INFP friend who means a lot about me. However, he is at a very gloomy point in his life right now. He is quite depressed, and is quickly hurt. Despite his age (29), he is still very much in his head and has trouble communicating with others. He displays the many signs of being in an Fi-Si loop, casting self blame and ruminating on recent and long-ago disappointments from the past. I know that if he is able to re-engage in extraverted intuition (or to be comfortable with it in the first place, when he takes the keys2cognition test, he scores quite high on Fi and Si, but lower on Ne) he will be able to get to "a better place." While I am an ENFP (tried an true!), my current natural ways of reaching for Ne in his current situation more directly address the things that are making him feel 'blue.' It has been many years since I blasted my friends with in your face Ne, and while I am sure I will come up with ways on my own, I am not infallible. Thus, I seek your help in creating Ne driven conversations for the 'in your head too much' INFP. 

*Some more details: *At this point in his life, he is quite resistant to the idea of being 'categorized.' He has no meta-knowledge of the MBTI, but consistently tests as an INFP. Eventually, I think knowledge of the cognitive processes, mindfullness exercises, and critical self exploration will be good for him. But, too much at one time can be a burden, and at the end of the day, he does need time and space to process. 

*Why you should help me, even if you do not care about helping me: *At the core, I am really asking about the essence of Ne.Being able to apply the use of Ne appropriately can involve a further knowledge of how Ne relates to other cognitive functions (such as Fi and Te), and how it is used divorced or in-sync with those options. 


Thank you everyone,
Ishiko


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## Drecon (Jun 20, 2016)

I think for INFP's, Ne is mostly about keeping an open mind about things. If you want to exercise it, brainstorming can help, without thinking of how the possibilities will impact your life at first. Si can keep you thinking about how things were in the past and an Fi-Si-loop can often focus on self-blame and revisiting old situations, overthinking everything that you should have done differently. 
I'm not an INFP myself, so I have no experience with this specific case, but I'd suggest trying to take time to freely associate and learn to let go of how other people say it "shoud be". 

Of course, if there's an actual depression going on or something... you might have to ask a professional. I'm just some random guy on an internet forum.


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## ButIHaveNoFear (Sep 6, 2017)

If he's resistant to being categorized, don't categorize him!roud:

Fi feelings are very strong and hard to label. 

I remember when I was a teen and hadn't developed my Ne. I typed as an ISFJ or ISTJ it was so bad! Ne was a source of fear and hypochondria. It was all the bad what-if questions! 

What hobbies does he have? What does he do in his free time? Does he _have_ free time? Does his job suck?

For me personally, I have new passions and desires each day, thanks to my Ne. It is a source of hope and experimentation. It's a desire to explore and see what is out there and what is possible. I'm only 21 though. If he's 29, this could be his Si tertiary starting to develop, like a midlife crisis type of thing. 

I feel most depressed and useless if I sit at home, do introverted things all day, and live without anything to look forward to that day. He needs something he can look forward to every day. If he ruminates on the past, that isn't looking forward. It's not even looking at now. Si dominants even use the past to determine what they should do in the present.

Your friend needs to resume the search for meaning. Unfortunately, Fi doesn't want anyone else involved. I get resistant when people tell me what to do, and if I do heed their advice, I often keep it a secret. 

Don't give up on him. Warring with his past and feelings will probably make him more sour though. When I matured and got un-messed up, it was very much an internal decision, a conscious choice. I chose to be optimistic, and I work to make it my habit every day.


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## TalNFJ (May 5, 2017)

Ishiko said:


> Hi Everyone, ENFP here!
> *
> STRAIGHT TO THE POINT: *I would love some suggestions on ways to exercise Extraverted Intuition, in ways that are fairly benign so that they do not impede on the sensitive Fi of a developing INFP.
> 
> ...


I'm also dealing with a close INFP friend stuck in a Fi-Si loop or at least stuck with Mental/Feelings problems. To be honest we clash quite a lot in terms of values and I think it's also why we're attracted a lot to each other, but when it comes down to it whenever he comes anywhere for advice or just emotional support (which happens rarely) he comes over to me and I try to help him.

I think the main 2 basic things to use Ne are creative outlets and going outside, does he have any activities connected to those two?


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## joup (Oct 5, 2014)

You first have to take care of the INFP's personal value needs, e.g. what ever they are complaining about, you need to emotionally support them, then you will be able to suggest an alternative to what the INFP thinks currently.


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## aquasoul (Aug 31, 2015)

I think one really basic way to exercise the Ne function is to do a bit of objective association. One thing that I find is the most prominent part of extraverted intuition is its ability to connect ideas together but remain rather objective in the process. I think if he is very much stuck in this phase of heavy judgement (Fi) and guilt (Si), try to take him outside and focus on the things in the immediate environment. Make him get into the habit on whenever there is these negative ideas bubbling up, revert back to looking at the environment in which he finds himself, as well as try to connect parts of the world to his preconceived knowledge. For a Ne kickstart, try something new, even as much as going to a restaurant or a part of the city you've never been to, I also find that reading or consuming scientific/factual based knowledge as tends to rip you out of the Fi/Si headspace and puts you into this situation where you have to use your Ne information connotation processing.


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## Ocean Helm (Aug 25, 2016)

Tell him to see a therapist. There is no proof that such a thing as a "Fi-Si loop" exists, and that it can be cured by "reaching for Ne". MBTI is fun but it shouldn't be used like this.


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## psyche (Jan 5, 2011)

Something that helps me is to try to conjure some sense of meaning out of my feelings associated with the past that are haunting me, in a way that links to the future and its possibilities... Also I like to be kind of...I don't know, I just feel comforted bringing weird metaphysical stuff into it... Eg, it's been a hard year for me and I've tended to get too withdrawn, but I sort of comforted myself watching the new Twin Peaks this year and all the insane amount of symbolism in it was actually relatively easy and fun for me to speculate on because I could apply it to what I've been going through... Ugh I hope I am explaining this in a way that makes sense. I guess when I can make everything a bit more n-ish rather than s-ish it makes life feel a bit more meaningful? Like it's not just a tangible deadly material plane to slug through or something, that's how it feels to me I suppose. That kind of thing almost always helps me when I get too withdrawn.


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