# Why do some men desire to be 'incels' these days?



## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)

If incel is short for 'involuntary celebacy' ... then I am an incel for most of my life. What's the deal? Is there some sort of additional cultural label to it? The word itself do have a 'cool' sound. I know it seems to be a cultural label, with it's own subculture of men funnily enough giving way to 'voluntary celebacy' due to members giving up. The reinvented monks (without the religion)!


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## Myrkur (May 6, 2018)

Probably because of the possibility that women will hurt their feelings, make them feel stupid, break their fragile ego, etc.


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## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)

[poop post]


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## Richard (Aug 16, 2011)

Just here to say that I myself am involuntarily celibate but I do not in any way identify with the incel movement. It would be absurd to blame the opposite sex for my disposition. Some people just end up being rather universally unappealing, I have to take responsibility for that and find my own way to have a fulfilling existence. We're don't all end up bitterly going full fucknuts.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Duo said:


> As a guess, there's likely significant correlation between incels and autism.


Autism is just as bad psychosis in terms of family relations. I wouldn't marry an autistic person, shame on anyone who would marry me.


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## incision (May 23, 2010)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> Autism is just as bad psychosis in terms of family relations. I wouldn't marry an autistic person, shame on anyone who would marry me.


Don't feel that way. There's new research on autism where science is getting closer to figuring it out. While there's likely a genetic component to it, there's also a real possibility of treatment once it's figured out.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Duo said:


> Don't feel that way. There's new research on autism where science is getting closer to figuring it out. While there's likely a genetic component to it, there's also a real possibility of treatment once it's figured out.


Hopefully the cure will not damage my multiplication tables. I worked many hours on them.


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## incision (May 23, 2010)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> Hopefully the cure will not damage my multiplication tables. I worked many hours on them.


lol, having been drilled on them for weeks as a punishment for arguing with and offending a teacher on what apples and oranges look like on a test in grade 2 (teacher was the worst artist hence making apples look like oranges), I hear you about the value of multiplication tables.


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## fieryelf (Mar 28, 2016)

I thought that the "Incel" definition applied to me for the most part but turns out I don't resent women even though I've been single my entire life so I'm just a guy who doesn't get it I guess :/


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## Sybow (Feb 1, 2016)

Witch of Oreo said:


> Desiring to be INCEL is impossible.
> 
> Is not something desired. It's just something that some people bitch about.


Reminds me of the friendzone thing, lol


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## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

They are psychologically unwell, bordering insane. Unlearning delusions is more difficult that just surrounding oneself with similar-minds. This is not the work of a "healthy" mind, insofar as it is sadistic not only to women, but masochistic to oneself (actively diminishing female and male health). The "Incel" definition is clearly useless because it says nothing informative about these specimens (_we know who_), nor the actuality of their circumstances, so I do not know why it is being utilized as a shorthand for "_involuntary celibacy_". Incel is much more than merely _involuntary celibacy_, it is also voluntary lunacy.


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## Tropes (Jul 7, 2016)

Catwalk said:


> They are psychologically unwell, bordering insane. Unlearning delusions is more difficult that just surrounding oneself with similar-minds. This is not the work of a "healthy" mind, insofar as it is sadistic not only to women, but masochistic to oneself (actively diminishing female and male health). The "Incel" definition is clearly useless because it says nothing informative about these specimens (_we know who_), nor the actuality of their circumstances, so I do not know why it is being utilized as a shorthand for "_involuntary celibacy_". Incel is much more than merely _involuntary celibacy_, it is also voluntary lunacy.


What does it say? I am actually not at all clear about the definition here. Does it require virginity? Can people be incels between sex? If it requires that sex would be completely inaccessible? Does that mean only people who can't hire a prostitute count? Alternatively, if it requires simply that there would be a reason beyond your control for not having sex right now, does that mean that if I would be having sex if Kate Upton showed up naked and willing in my office, and thus the reason for me not having sex right now is the complete lack of Kate Upton in my office, is that Involuntarily Celibacy? Do they ask you those things before they let you in? Is there a club? What do they do in the club?


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Duo said:


> lol, having been drilled on them for weeks as a punishment for arguing with and offending a teacher on what apples and oranges look like on a test in grade 2 (teacher was the worst artist hence making apples look like oranges), I hear you about the value of multiplication tables.


There used to be a mean substitute teacher in elementary school. She used to yell a lot and was very strict. One day she came over to my day and yelled at me to tell me that I was doing good work. I went into the hallway with the assistant teacher and cried. I recall always having the best relationships with the assistant teachers. Except for kindergarten where three of them ganged up on me and tried to force me to eat lunch in front of other people. Come to remember it, I don't think I started regularly eating my lunch until late in elementary school, I would usually drink the juice and throw away the sandwich. Eventually, I became disappointed with myself for someone had been nicely making me all of those sandwiches, I eventually gave in and did the moral thing by eating them.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Trivia for all, did you know that the r/incels subreddit was closed due to threats of violence against women?

One of the places where the former inhabitants sought refuge is in the new subreddit called r/braincels. A reference to the idea that smart nerds don't get females. They consider themselves to be nonviolent.


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## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

Genghis Kohen said:


> What does it say? I am actually not at all clear about the definition here. Does it require virginity? Can people be incels between sex? If it requires that sex would be completely inaccessible? Does that mean only people who can't hire a prostitute count? Alternatively, if it requires simply that there would be a reason beyond your control for not having sex right now, does that mean that if I would be having sex if Kate Upton showed up naked and willing in my office, and thus the reason for me not having sex right now is the complete lack of Kate Upton in my office, is that Involuntarily Celibacy? Do they ask you those things before they let you in? Is there a club? What do they do in the club?


My post was fueled by the notion that the OP was incorrect in that one cannot desire to be an Incel, because of (X)-definition demonstrates otherwise.The definition that is mostly purported is "_involuntarily celibate men_". Which would include all specimen's that are supposedly "_involuntarily celibate_," (regardless of past circumstance). The definition does not work within the _contexts_ of the Incel community to which we observed (e.g., hostility, intimacy, et al), which also demonstrates it is not simply an involuntary phenomena. To be clear, I do not think "_involuntary celibacy_" exists in any reality (either male/female) - outside of cognitive dysfunction (lack of capacity/inability to consent). My point is that the Incel definition is irrelevant and should be expunged to observe/analyze the behaviors of the specimens that conjugate within the Incel culture or redefine it.


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## Lyzo (Nov 17, 2013)

Do they desire it? Isn't the definition of an incel _"a man who is in an involuntary celibacy"_?

Or did you mean to ask: _-"Why do some heterosexual men desire to never get into a commited relationship (marriage) with a woman?"_ 
E.g. there are movements advising heterosexual men against getting married/or similarly commited to a woman, simply because the cons outweigh the pros. Mostly based upon ideas that gender roles in western cultures are out of touch with biology and human evolution in general. These guys are not incels. They mostly get their "hanky-panky"-needs covered. For the most part, by means of random consentual sexual encounters. There are ofc. those who solely rely on paying for it. 

I'm happily commited to a woman (not formally married, but will grow old with her if she wants to). Hence I can't provide insight from a personal perspective. I will however advise women who are puzzled or somehow personally affected by this phenomenon, to change their focus. Perhaps it's not the men that have changed? Perhaps it's a better idea to start with questioning one self, before one starts questioning the other...?


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## Dare (Nov 8, 2016)

Who wore hysteria, hated towards "ALL" of the opposite sex and playing the victim better? Radical feminists or Incels?

"I'd love for the USA to pass a law where if a Stacy (a sexually active attractive young woman) refuses to fuck an Incel her clit would be removed by State doctors" -- some Incel

"Intercourse is the pure, sterile, formal expression of men's contempt for women" -- some radical feminist

"The government should issue girlfriends" & "Girls should be kept in government warehouses until puberty when fit to have sex with Incels"

"All men are trash"

"Round up all prime females (age 15-25) and force them to be sexual slaves"

"Sex is unnatural"

“The female part of our species, though technically human, completely and utterly lacks the essence of being that one would call humanity. By lacking all empathy, compassion, self-awareness, and capacity for logic or reason, there is little to separate the femoid from a beast of the field.”

"To call a man an animal is a compliment; he's a machine, a walking dildo."

"Instead of killing off the brainwashed women of the current generation why not be efficient and use them as sex slaves?"

"Overthrow the government and destroy the male sex" ("Destroy" meant kill, taken from The SCUM Manifesto)

"I prefer acid attacks to mass killings, they need to be in constant fear for every aspect of their life" (there were mass killings in the name of Incels)

----> While the Incels may have started as a sympathy/support group for the painfully shy and unlucky in love (for both men & women), it's pretty clear it devolved into a hate group (a terrorist group in it's most extreme form), as is the case with radical feminism. Angry miserable dysfunctional people who lack personal responsibility join hate groups bc it feelz good and supports their (conveniently) warped sense of reality. I wonder if the term "involuntary" itself was attractive to identify with for those with issues but who won't accept accountability. Fwiw I've always thought the term feminism wasn't a great choice either bc it attracted man-haters. Careful what you call something I suppose (the originator of 'Incel', a woman, abandoned her website after it got out of control). 

I assume it's just projecting sexual frustration onto the object to fuel anger. It's easy. It saves ego (and belies their deep sense of entitlement). It's simple to defend them by saying X (something legitimate) made them angry, but I'm not sure about that. I'm starting to notice a pattern in people who are oriented to the negative emotionally; they look for reasons to rationalize the way they feel ---> more responsibility shifting with the 'you made me feel' nonsense (never admitting this is their normal, some even seem to enjoy feeling that way, as counterintuitive as that may be). When onlookers start seeing the situation with 'well, there has been this shift in demographics', I wonder if they aren't (unwittingly) rationalizing for them. 

The stats aren't what Incels claim anyway (if someone has better stats I'd enjoy seeing them). *"Women remain about as (un)promiscious as they have for decades"* -- with a median of 3 sexual partners in her lifetime regardless of education. College educated men have 4, less educated men have 6 (US data). https://ifstudies.org/blog/nine-decades-of-promiscuity Given the increase in FWB culture it seems it's frequently a friend that a woman sleeps with before marriage (the opportunity being there due to people getting married later -- late twenties now, where it used to be early twenties historically, with women still getting married a couple of years younger than men). The 'sexual paradox' of millennials is they have sex more frequently but have fewer partners than previous generations (FWB is up, cheating & divorce rates are down). 

Incels seem to have their imaginations working overtime when it comes to what "slut" women are up to. Looking at the world through the lens of porn? Just because there has been a massive rise in _acceptance_ of premarital sex, doesn't mean a whole lot of 'experimenting' is going on for the majority of men & women. Perhaps being nice to a real live woman, friends even, would allow Incels to get a little more intimate with reality. But, of course, it's not really about solving their problem. I think everyone knows someone with unfortunate genetic luck who still managed to find a mate & marry. 'Braincels' are just as obvious. Since when is intelligence not prized, especially with the tech revolution? Why doesn't their intelligence help to solve their problems?

Perhaps the ugliest part of Incels is the fixation on the shallow (looks). _Everyone_ has to face the fact that life isn't 'fair' (inherited wealth, country/family of origin, face, inherited body/organ shape/size, intelligence, specific talent or lack of, weird something, genetic health issue etc). Healthy people get on with it, are grateful for what they've got, play to their strengths and accept their weaknesses rather than why-o-whine. It's immature, it lacks accountability and it's in poor taste to think you're a _special_ case deserving of sympathy (or a pity-fuck as the case may be).

Extra irony points for focusing on "prime" women rather than their true match, on "a lack of femininity in women today" while failing to see how non-'masculine' they behave and speaking about evolution in every way that suits them while ignoring the most obvious thing about evolution: competition. Having sex was never a 'right'. With such an attitude, and incredibly obvious character flaws, of course women aren't going to be attracted!

I'm particularly sickened by Incels attempting to legitimize/hide their radical position by aligning themselves with those who truly can't find a match (despite trying everything) and with some old-fashioned conservatism (PUA & Redpill does this too: "We just want it to be like the old days, now here's how to manipulate stupid women...") Like we wouldn't spot that one of these things is not like the other. It's incredibly simple; hating women feels good to these men, just as hating men feels good to radical feminists. That's why they do it. That's why they shouldn't be sympathized with. They are not victims. Some are criminals.


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## contradictionary (Apr 1, 2018)

Dare said:


> That's why they shouldn't be sympathized with. They are not victims. Some are criminals.


Owkaaayyy... so what are your takes on the whole phenomena of pua, redpill, mra/mrm, incel, mgtow. Internet medium aside, why are they brandishing now?

Are these movements really provoked into existence as reactionary force to the current 3rd wave feminism?


Sent using Tapatalk


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## SilverFalcon (Dec 18, 2014)

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.”
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Those who choose to be victims will always be victims of themselves. Those who embrace destructive thoughts will destroy their lives.


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## Aiwass (Jul 28, 2014)

Aren't there enough treads about incels/redpills/manosphere/feminism already? Holy shit. This is getting old fast.


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## Forest Nymph (Aug 25, 2018)

In my observations the lot of them are simply self absorbed and socially awkward due to a life indoors with a computer since age twelve. One of my original honest motives for studying environmental science was to get kids outside in the real world with earth science because as an SFP I don't have the math brain in the abstract to study physics and chemistry required to address climate change as a global model nor do I have the NF gift to politically talk people out of their trees. I said I can teach kids or plant trees or fight people. Grr.

But yeah these people are seriously damaged by technology and they're discussed extensively on a collegiate level.

You'll always have that smaller percent of priests, so to speak, though. Some people really are asexual or closeted gay and well bless them. The rest are societal victims though I would argue a few are just misogynistic assholes, but those are usually the volcels or MGTOWS, not the incels.

But the worse society has become and the more I see on the Internet the more I understand RADFEMS, a group I used to detest, so you have to ask what happened to these people. Sadly a lot is a reaction to the cold responses of others online or to the self absorbed laziness of American society.


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## Electra (Oct 24, 2014)

Forest Nymph said:


> In my observations the lot of them are simply self absorbed and socially awkward due to a life indoors with a computer since age twelve. One of my original honest motives for studying environmental science was to get kids outside in the real world with earth science because as an SFP I don't have the math brain in the abstract to study physics and chemistry required to address climate change as a global model nor do I have the NF gift to politically talk people out of their trees. I said I can teach kids or plant trees or fight people. Grr.
> 
> But yeah these people are seriously damaged by technology and they're discussed extensively on a collegiate level.
> 
> ...


I played computergames before I was twelve, possibly since I was a baby, I remember playing games in vic 20 and comodore style, and m not an incel at all. I am a feminist and I'm proud of it. I love men but I still fight for female rights.


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