# Avoiding conflict. Fi or Fe?



## uncertain (May 26, 2012)

From my experience on this forum, a lot of ISFPs are not good with conflict, but I have also heard that FJs would try not to make a fire in order to keep peace, or that's last thing they want to do. I relate to both, and it also depends, but my reason for avoiding conflict is almost always afraid of getting into trouble later on. I don't give a shit about how the other person feel if I think I am right about it and he/she is wrong and especially more so if he/she being an ass. If I know me and the other person are more or less equally powerful, or under other circumstances where I know I wouldn't get into trouble later on then I don't really hesitate to argue or condemn.

But mostly I walk away instead of fighting against, which I know is pretty bad... but sometimes I also regard that a wise thing to do. Btw, that's why I prefer to live in an environment where I won't feel threatened/intimidated so that I can feel free to speak up instead of not and feeling like a coward about it.

So would this be Fi or Fe? I used to think that's more Fi but later on I am not quite sure about what does it mean for FJs to avoid conflict in order to "keep peace." Is it solely about not hurting other people's feeling, or is it actually how I am?


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

Fi for timidity, Fe on principle.


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## uncertain (May 26, 2012)

of cups. said:


> Fe on principle.


What does that mean?


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## Peter (Feb 27, 2010)

of cups. said:


> Fi for timidity, Fe on principle.


No no no no!

Fi is all about right and wrong. So as long as fairness isn't at play, Fi avoids conflict.

Fe is about relationships which means they will try to keep the peace when they´re there. But have absolute no problem with raging war on people if they don't have to pull the trigger them selves.


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

uncertain said:


> What does that mean?


As in, it is more their M.O. in a way. The sentiment is more of an afterthought it seems, while with Fi, it is the source.


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## uncertain (May 26, 2012)

Peter said:


> No no no no!
> 
> Fi is all about right and wrong. So as long as fairness isn't at play, Fi avoids conflict.
> 
> Fe is about relationships which means they will try to keep the peace when they´re there. But have absolute no problem with raging war on people if they don't have to pull the trigger them selves.


Can you explain both more?


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## Schizoid (Jan 31, 2015)

uncertain said:


> From my experience on this forum, a lot of ISFPs are not good with conflict, but I have also heard that FJs would try not to make a fire in order to keep peace, or that's last thing they want to do. I relate to both, and it also depends, but my reason for avoiding conflict is almost always afraid of getting into trouble later on. I don't give a shit about how the other person feel if I think I am right about it and he/she is wrong and especially more so if he/she being an ass. If I know me and the other person are more or less equally powerful, or under other circumstances where I know I wouldn't get into trouble later on then I don't really hesitate to argue or condemn.
> 
> But mostly I walk away instead of fighting against, which I know is pretty bad... but sometimes I also regard that a wise thing to do. Btw, that's why I prefer to live in an environment where I won't feel threatened/intimidated so that I can feel free to speak up instead of not and feeling like a coward about it.
> 
> So would this be Fi or Fe? I used to think that's more Fi but later on I am not quite sure about what does it mean for FJs to avoid conflict in order to "keep peace." Is it solely about not hurting other people's feeling, or is it actually how I am?


It depends on why you walk away from the conflict. 
I use Fi myself and I walk away from conflicts because conflicts makes me feel bad as it tends to disrupt my sense of inner peace. 
In conflicts, I don't really care about how other party feels, but instead I tend to focus more on how I feel. I walk away from conflicts because it makes me feel bad. I think Fe types would walk away from conflicts too but they would probably have a different reasoning as me?

And I don't feel that Fe shy away from conflicts. In fact, some of the most confrontational people I ever met are actually ExFJ.
They can be so expressive about their feelings that I end up shying away from them because I feel uncomfortable with all those emotions from them. My mom is an Fe dom for example, and she is just so expressive about her emotions, if she is angry, the entire world will know about it. She isn't conflict-avoidant at all. On the other hand, if I am angry, I tend to hide my emotions and then avoid the person who upset me. I don't really like confronting the other person about my feelings, because it makes me feel uncomfortable to talk about my feelings. I don't like being around so much emotions, it makes me feel uncomfortable. The same thing goes when I care about someone. I tend to care about people secretly rather than openly. Like if a friend is crying, I am not very good at saying comforting words to them, but I will stay by their side and be their listening ear. So this is one example of how I tend to care about people secretly than openly. I also tend to care about people without any expectations that they will ever reciprocate back. To me, love comes from myself. When I love someone, I already felt loved in return. So why does my love need to be reciprocated? Fe types are different from me in this regard. They care deeply about people too, but they expect their efforts to be reciprocated back, or else they will start sulking away. Like my mom who is an Fe dom will often say, "I care about everybody but nobody cares about me!" 

So I believe both Fe and Fi types are actually capable of walking away from conflicts, but whether you are Fe or Fi depends on why you walk away from those conflicts.


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## uncertain (May 26, 2012)

Thanks! That explains a lot.


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## uncertain (May 26, 2012)

@*Schizoid *
Can someone's sense of "inner harmony" actually be the result of internalizing his/her sense of outside harmony so much to the point where they are not aware of its nature? Can that be Fe-type faking it and not knowing? Like feeling disrupted/uncomfortable/depressed because two people are arguing and yelling at each other as hell.

Not sure if that make sense


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## sicksadworlds (May 4, 2015)

Both Fi and Fe avoid conflict. When they do, it's for different reasons:

Fi: to maintain inner harmony 
Fe: to keep a positive environment


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## Quernus (Dec 8, 2011)

Neither, it depends on other factors in the person.

A Fi-user may hate conflict and avoid it for the discomfort, because it feels wrong. Or they may welcome it because they feel at war with the world, or because conflict makes them feel alive. Or, because they simply don't see it as a negative thing, therefore it doesn't make them uncomfortable, but is rather a means to an end that feels more right.

An Fe-user may hate conflict because blabla they want to do the social peace blabla thing. They may welcome it as a way to be engaged with another person, and to play with or affect the dynamic.

I will say from anecdotal experience that Fe-users appear to wiggle out of conflict more often, seemingly because it's not the appropriate way to deal with something when there's a smoother and more socially sensitive route. Fi users tend to avoid conflict when it's personally troublesome, but we'll accept conflict as "needed"; I think this is partially because Fi-users tend to be less socially graceful, and don't see many other options to maintain congruence with our values once they're challenged. 

Like, Fe is better at smoothing things over and reaching mutual satisfaction before conflict escalates too much. Fi is more focused on achieving personal satisfaction at all costs based on an internal frame of reference, one which may not be as relevant or obvious to the other person.


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## Psychopomp (Oct 3, 2012)

uncertain said:


> From my experience on this forum, a lot of ISFPs are not good with conflict, but I have also heard that FJs would try not to make a fire in order to keep peace, or that's last thing they want to do. I relate to both, and it also depends, but my reason for avoiding conflict is almost always afraid of getting into trouble later on. I don't give a shit about how the other person feel if I think I am right about it and he/she is wrong and especially more so if he/she being an ass. If I know me and the other person are more or less equally powerful, or under other circumstances where I know I wouldn't get into trouble later on then I don't really hesitate to argue or condemn.
> 
> But mostly I walk away instead of fighting against, which I know is pretty bad... but sometimes I also regard that a wise thing to do. Btw, that's why I prefer to live in an environment where I won't feel threatened/intimidated so that I can feel free to speak up instead of not and feeling like a coward about it.
> 
> So would this be Fi or Fe? I used to think that's more Fi but later on I am not quite sure about what does it mean for FJs to avoid conflict in order to "keep peace." Is it solely about not hurting other people's feeling, or is it actually how I am?





of cups. said:


> Fi for timidity, Fe on principle.


Neither avoid conflict, per se, other than that Fi implies introversion, and introverts probably avoid the sociality of conflict more than extraverts.

I can say that Fi types, in a conflict, tend to be more petulant and impressionistic. When they do deign to justify themselves, it is with Te. A very objective and straightforward assessment of the realities of the situation. The actual moral judgment portion of their view tends to remain implicit. It is difficult for Fi to render into objective terms the abstract and impressionistic sense of right and wrong they feel. 

Fe has no such difficulty or hesitation. They are crusaders who are most comfortable with laying out moral judgments in the most objective and present terms. However, since Fe is always terribly aware of the effects of their words, they tend to shy away from real polemics. They thus mollify and judge in the same breath. Words are measured, and can seem disingenuous. Under the gaze fo Fe, one feels very politely condemned... and not on principle nearly so much as on actual effect. "You hurt his feelings, don't oyou think you should apologize?" It is all about the objective effects. They kind of want to have their cake and eat it too when it comes to both judging and keeping everything harmonious. 

It is Kurt Cobain (clear Fi-dom) and Martin Luther King Jr (clear Fe-dom). Who was more avoiding of conflict? One could say that MLK avoided conflicts religiously, always finding the compromise and the friendly middle ground... the unifying view. Cobain was constantly getting into feuds and was famous for snide remarks about people. 

But, MLK was a social warrior - and willingly created conflict, and stirred up dissension on a massive scale. Kurt's main concern was simply to have a harmonious life with those he valued, and was no crusader at all. 

So, who avoided conflict? Both. Neither. 

These strong contrasts are a great study in the real differences in Fi and Fe. The Petulant Poet and the Coddling Crusader.... so to speak.


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## UnicornRainbowLove (May 8, 2014)

Most feelers avoid needless conflict as much as possible because it is painful. Another person gets angry at you, and if you don't keep up the constructive perspective it will feel or look like you scorn him. Having too many conflicts means that either a) you're a thinker who just has no clue about other's emotions, or b) you're in a terrible state where stress and fear have taken over and made you bite any hand that comes near you.


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## Schizoid (Jan 31, 2015)

uncertain said:


> @*Schizoid *
> Can someone's sense of "inner harmony" actually be the result of internalizing his/her sense of outside harmony so much to the point where they are not aware of its nature? Can that be Fe-type faking it and not knowing? Like feeling disrupted/uncomfortable/depressed because two people are arguing and yelling at each other as hell.
> 
> Not sure if that make sense



Hmm this sounds more like an enneagram 9 thing than an Fe thing actually. I think people with 9 somewhere in their tri type are prone to experiencing these sort of feelings, so I would look more into enneagram for this.


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## Eikichi (Feb 15, 2014)

Enneagram 9, not related to a cognitive function.


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## NeedsNewNameNow (Dec 1, 2009)

Fe is extroverted judging, so it's more conflict prone almost by definition.

Introverted judging - you judge things for yourself
Extroverted judging - you judge for the people around you, or submit to the judgements of other Fe 'leaders'. Fe people tend to fall in line with the group sense of right/wrong, but end up in conflict with people who aren't so big on Fe, or are Fe but from another group.


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## Kynx (Feb 6, 2012)

Both avoid conflict for the same reasons. Feeling is one function. The evaluation process is the same for Fe and Fi, only the standard measure which they use to determine their judgements is different.


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## Yumiko (Sep 20, 2015)

I feel like if it was T > F, it wouldn't make a difference since they would go into conflict anyways. Though, I guess F > T would prefer to not? It's rare for both Fi-doms and Fe-doms to get into conflict anyways.

Fe-dom is more likely to avoid conflict hands down. This is because they don't want to be thought of the wrong way by other people. They're super sensitive to other peoples' feelings. One scratch and bam, they break and go into internal crisis mode for a long while. This is especially to Fe-doms who don't have much Ti to help them pull back. Unless their Fe isn't very developed, in which case, nothing would happen. Fe-doms especially hate conflict because they'll think they'll be hated or something. They're also very swayed by other peoples' opinions.

Fi-dom likes to avoid conflict too, however, if their ideals/morals are being attacked, they aren't afraid to lash out on other people and stand up to what they think is right. If their Te is too weak to balance their Fi, then they'll bounce into battle even if the person didn't mean to offend their morals. (Trust me, I've seen so many dominant/secondary Fi-users who just lash out like crazy.) They're pretty stubborn, but if they're balanced, they'll be swayed. (I gotta say, bless you Fi-users who are balanced. You are a blessing to this world.)

However for Fi, I guess it just really depends on their viewpoint for conflict. In the end, Fi is just being able to recognize what you like, don't like, and why. Some Fi are like "Oh conflict. I don't really like fights because it causes disorder, so I'll just watch or something." and others are like "!!! Something I know that is bad? Engage in combat?!"

So for my answer, I'd say equal chance.


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## FearAndTrembling (Jun 5, 2013)

sicksadworlds said:


> Both Fi and Fe avoid conflict. When they do, it's for different reasons:
> 
> Fi: to maintain inner harmony
> Fe: to keep a positive environment


But then it just becomes a philosophical question. Why does Fe want to keep a positive environment? The most obvious answer to me is: to maintain inner harmony. lol. Why else would anybody give a fuck?

Everybody actually "judges" with feeling. Reason or thought is like the cherry on top of a sundae. What about the rest of the sundae? All the rest that can't be put to thought or reason.


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

Schizoid said:


> It depends on why you walk away from the conflict.
> I use Fi myself and I walk away from conflicts because conflicts makes me feel bad as it tends to disrupt my sense of inner peace.
> In conflicts, I don't really care about how other party feels, but instead I tend to focus more on how I feel. I walk away from conflicts because it makes me feel bad. I think Fe types would walk away from conflicts too but they would probably have a different reasoning as me?
> 
> On the other hand, if I am angry, I tend to hide my emotions and then avoid the person who upset me. I don't really like confronting the other person about my feelings, because it makes me feel uncomfortable to talk about my feelings. I don't like being around so much emotions, it makes me feel uncomfortable.


Good observation on Fi. I didn't realize how self-centered Fi was in this aspect (self-centered in the fact that it's oriented towards the self, not selfish). But it does ring true after reflection.

Thanks for the insight.


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## nO_d3N1AL (Apr 25, 2014)

I would definitely say Fi. My mum is definitely Fe and she seems to seek conflict by being very opinionated (although definitely tries to avoid it with guests). My best friend is Fi and he seems to rarely get in a conflict. I think Fi is more likely to avoid conflict - Perceivers tend to be more agreeable - whereas Judgers are far more confident and opinionated, so will stand their ground. Fi has its own opinions but due to its introverted nature, won't feel the need to express them to others or convince everyone else to "accept" their opinion/preference/viewpoint as being "correct". A Perceiver (Fi) will accept others' views as "different", whereas Judgers need some form of validation (i.e. who's "right").


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## Zamyatin (Jun 10, 2014)

Avoiding conflict has nothing to do with Fe or Fi. It's mostly individual personality characteristics that aren't modeled by the MBTI. However, being conflict-averse can suggest that you don't have Se in your stack, as Se is the function that values being able to push the environment in a way that gets you what you want.


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## uncertain (May 26, 2012)

Zamyatin said:


> However, being conflict-averse can suggest that you don't have Se in your stack, as *Se is the function that values being able to push the environment in a way that gets you what you want.*


Interesting, I definitely value such power and I really wish I could do that but most of the time I am not able to, haha. That's the problem which create emotional pain for me, since I fail to do what I ideally should be doing. I would try other ways of achieving the same goal to avoid getting into conflict in person. I am fine with people secretly swearing at me. I don't care.


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## Schizoid (Jan 31, 2015)

Zamyatin said:


> However, being conflict-averse can suggest that you don't have Se in your stack, as Se is the function that values being able to push the environment in a way that gets you what you want.



I think I agree with what you wrote here. 

I actually know an ISFP in real life who would start a conflict with her boyfriend all the time, conflicts seem to fuel her. I can't imagine myself getting into conflicts with people who are close to me. The closer someone is to me, the more I will try to avoid conflicts with them. I have Se in my shadow and too much aggressiveness in my surroundings tend to drain me out. And I actually had "instant connection" with that ISFP the first time we met, but eventually we ended up clashing because of my peace-loving nature vs her aggressive nature. She just has this certain bluntness in her speech that rubbed me the wrong way at times, like she would jokingly make fun of my fashion sense, and the way I eat and everything. 
I know she is only joking, but her jokes can be really blunt at times and it hurt my feelings. :dry:


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## uncertain (May 26, 2012)

nO_d3N1AL said:


> I would definitely say Fi. My mum is definitely Fe and she seems to seek conflict by being very opinionated (although definitely tries to avoid it with guests). My best friend is Fi and he seems to rarely get in a conflict. I think Fi is more likely to avoid conflict - Perceivers tend to be more agreeable - whereas Judgers are far more confident and opinionated, so will stand their ground. Fi has its own opinions but due to its introverted nature, won't feel the need to express them to others or convince everyone else to "accept" their opinion/preference/viewpoint as being "correct". A Perceiver (Fi) will accept others' views as "different", whereas Judgers need some form of validation (i.e. who's "right").


Hmm... I think both Fi and Fe can be very opinionated. I don't see how Fi can't be opinionated when the function is subjective value reasoning. I know I am quite subjective and opinionated.

I doubt if you mom think she seeks conflict. She is probably just trying to argue and have a conversation. I know I sometimes get into discussion and even debate about certain topic and that doesn't feels like conflict to me as long as I don't detect the other person being mean and angry (scaring!). But why can't Fi be firm on his ground if he thinks he is right? It just means he/she is defending his/her viewpoint, and doesn't mean trying to force or change the other person's mind, right?

Yes sometimes others' views are different from mine and I accept this reality although sometimes I can't help but think some people being an idiot and their point not valid. But why would a Judger get into conflict which is disagreement when he/she is seeking validation?


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## uncertain (May 26, 2012)

NeedsNewNameNow said:


> Fe is extroverted judging, so it's more conflict prone almost by definition.
> 
> Introverted judging - you judge things for yourself
> Extroverted judging - you judge for the people around you, or submit to the judgements of other Fe 'leaders'. Fe people tend to fall in line with the group sense of right/wrong, but end up in conflict with people who aren't so big on Fe, or are Fe but from another group.


I just keep staring and laughing at your avatar, every time. Love it.


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## dancingcarrot3 (Aug 5, 2015)

I also wanted to add that Fi is intensely personal and does not like to be in plain sight. Fi HIDES. It is also a judging function, and almost always is overly embellished with either good or bad (meaning that Fi is at its core concerned with ethics and morals, but that almost every Fi user on the planet has no idea how to use it and attaches judgment of the person or activity as either good or bad, based upon the Fi user so there's no way to objectively parse things out). 

Having Fi in my tertiary, it doesn't affect me as much. However, when it does come, it almost never wants attention but sucks my energy dry. Lately I've been learning how to identify what emotion is coming on and what triggered it. Often it's some expectation that I had unconsciously built up and don't actually need to be attached to. 

In the primary and secondary positions, however, it is much more overzealous. From what I've talked about with my INFJ friend, lead Fi users are almost always swimming in their embellished value systems, but hide it pretty well from most of the world. Secondary Fi users can be found just feeling things and making decisions based off of what they feel as it has taken over them. 

Basically Fi has a lot of power and it can be difficult to parse out and realize what it is in its true form because of its overwhelming nature. It is entirely subjective and does not like to be exposed. Exposing it is akin to calling into question that person's very being.


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## Aelthwyn (Oct 27, 2010)

I can't speak for people with Fe, but personally:

I avoid conflict when:
1. I'm intimidated by the other person and feel that I won't be given a fair hearing so there's no point in trying
2. I sense that if I approach the issue directly the other person will become cemented in their defensiveness or grossly over-react making matters far worse.
3. I'm too emotionally drained to deal with aggression from others and would just be triggering my own melt-down
4. I'm intimidated by the other person and feel that the risk of worse consequences for 'losing' is too high vs. the odds of convincing the other person to be reasonable
5. the time or place will not allow for a satisfactory chance to really address the issue, whether because of pressure, or distraction, or time limits, or an audience
6. the issue isn't worth the time/energy/uncomfortableness of arguing over it
7. I have experienced so much misunderstanding with the other person that I've given up on any complex communication because no clarity or understanding is ever reached so arguing is pointless
8. I sense the other person will view bringing it up directly as making it into a big deal and will deal better with it quietly/indirectly
9. I know the other person is probably just going to view it as a 'game' to try to annoy me as much as possible without actually taking the argument seriously
10. I sense the other person is really sensitive to conflict and will be much too hurt by it
11. I feel that I'm likely to just say something mean that I'll regret

However, I will enter conflict sometimes if:
1. the lingering tension in the air is getting to me and I just want to get this over with and resolved
2. I feel secure in my relationship with the person so I know that whatever arguments and clashing we may have we will still care about eachother 
3. the other person seems to have zero regard for others so my respect/concern for them kind of gets switched off in return
4. I'm standing up for someone else but not really threatened myself so I'm in a more confident and stable state of mind
5. I see that the conflict is built around, or being exacerbated by, misunderstandings so I am willing to get involved if I can shed some light that will help solve it quicker instead of just watching it blow out of proportion needlessly.
6. I'm bothered enough by what's going on that it really is worth the discomfort and effort, or I can't in good conscience not even say something or make an attempt even if I know it's probably going to be futile.
7. I'm super riled up and can't contain it any more.


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## Tetsuo Shima (Nov 24, 2014)

It's Fi. I hate conflict, and I'm pretty damn sure I'm an INFP.


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## The_Wanderer (Jun 13, 2013)

I always saw it as sensors vs intuitives.


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## frigus (Oct 4, 2015)

Since I'm still in the process of exploring the functions, I don't know what my dom/aux function is yet, but I do get the general impression that Fi might be one of them. 
I used to be pretty argumentative (though that could have been caused by, you know, being a teenager). But the reason I was like that was primarily because I had an incredibly short fuse. If someone pissed me off, I let them know immediately, in the most unpleasant, condescending way possible. Add to that the fact that I had a somewhat strong sense of what would offend/hurt a certain person the most (Ni?), and voila - a recipe for disaster. 
I have since learned to keep from doing that by means of asking myself "is this really a good enough reason to blow up or is there a nicer way to go about this?" I'm a lot calmer these days, and thankful for it.
Back then I didn't take other people's feelings into account (teenager, remember) but eventually learned that my words could _seriously_ impact some people, even if they were said merely because I was angry at the time. 
I also developed anxiety around the time, and once it had finally reached my brain that my actions have consequences, I started avoiding conflict as much as possible. Part of it was also the very strong realization that I am not always right (maturing basically), which automatically means that I shouldn't push a matter if I am not completely certain of it - and I am rarely completely certain.
I still, to this day, get into pretty aggressive arguments with people if they offend people I care about, though. 
On the upside this made me develop (or mimic? since I'm still not sure what my function stack is) Fe, and I make a point of making sure that I act in a way that will make people feel appreciated.


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## The Dude (May 20, 2010)

Both aren't confrontation and prefer peace, but will "attack" if somebody breaks a value (Fi) or disturbs the vibe (Fe).


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## Jane Lane (Sep 21, 2016)

I go back forth on whether I use Fi or Fe . For myself I have noticed I try to avoid conflict maybe more than I should . The odd thing is growing up I didn't mind it so much . I could be amused by it , even enjoy it ( whether I was directly involved or not)
By about my mid teens that started to change. I'm not sure what changed . Maybe I saw how it sometimes ruined relationships or caused more trouble than it was worth. Then there are times you can't reason with the other person so why bother?

I think both types avoid it and my seek it out but for different reasons.


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## reptilian (Aug 5, 2014)

Avoiding conflict is an Fi-Ti thing, that doesn't mean you are automatically a P type.


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## Stevester (Feb 28, 2016)

Fe avoids conflict for the sake of harmony, Fi avoids conflict because it hates/is not good at dealing emotional confrontations.
'

Fe has a very short threshold when dealing with behaviors it doesn't like, and will usually do everything to put a stop to it ASAP or forever live passive-aggressively about it if there is no way for them to ''fix'' the problem. Think of someone who can't stand one of their inlaws but also knows they are stuck with them for the rest of their lives. They'll probably just be spiteful to them for years to come. Fe will instead prefer to just focus their energy on people they DO get along with and just ignore/bypass the object of their disdain. 

Fi OTOH, can repress their disdain somewhat easily for people they don't like for a LONG time. But when they reach their breaking point they will either walk out and never look back or will explode. At which point, God help you if you are the target.


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## Peter (Feb 27, 2010)

uncertain said:


> Can you explain both more?


I can, but help me out and ask a more specific question.


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## Azazel (May 27, 2016)

Let me;
Harmony seeker Fe type - Understand the individuals, focus on the atmosphere, they keep the individuals and the differences known and seen but kind of backgrounded compared to harmony and points of same values. Everyone is a color shade, but that shade becomes similar and similar to the other color shades it shares the life with.
Harmony seeker Fi type - Priorizes the individuals, they don't hold an atmosphere but their view is often more respectful, knowing the differences. Everyone is a color shade, which, as minimum as it is, it is still different to others.
Confrontational Fe type - If you don't want to go alone, I'll make you. Those are my friends and If you dare hit them, you dare hit me. They're known for being invasive, excesively protective and even tiranic.
Confrontational Fi type - My values are those and I'll bulk you out time to defend them. They're known for abusing ideals, morals or points of view.

I don't think, actually Fi works on timidity or Fe in harmony. Both can work on both. It is just more a matter of the own user.


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## Ride (Jun 30, 2016)

Fi user here and I also hate conflict because it really fucks up my inner peace. The feeling is it kind of takes over everything else and it is like something is constantly in your face taunting you. And it won't let up untill I have either adressed it or completely lash out and destroy whatever it is that's causing it. Adressing it is the preferable method because it's more diplomatic/peaceful and if we can't agree I can always avoid that person but If it builds up to the point I feel you are threating my inner peace and values it can get extremely ugly. I will either cut you off completely, at that point you could as well be air or we are gonna have war.

May be selfish but my inner peace and values always comes first because I know that if there's no harmony it will eventually start to have an effect on things around me and that is not sustainable.

These are examples of extreme cases, most of the time you can air out the issues without it going too far tho.


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## silikone (Sep 19, 2016)

I feel like I never want to be the one to potentially initiate a conflict. Even if I think I am in the right, I always hesitate to voice myself in case it escalates to something undesirable.
A recent example: Some people were smoking on a balcony with an open door, which is explicitly meant to be closed when there are smokers outside. I despise the smell, so I really wanted something done about it, but I had the feeling that they would stand up for themselves somehow.
Instead of confronting them myself, I asked a friend to deal with them. He said it straight forward and slammed the door with all of his might. I loved witnessing this, but I would never be able to do that myself.

What would the cognitive functions be in this case?


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## ferroequinologist (Jul 27, 2012)

silikone said:


> What would the cognitive functions be in this case?


Sounds like a classic POLR Se for an INTP to me.


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