# Introverted NT children vs "Asperger's" childen: Peer perception and social behavior.



## pushit (Dec 20, 2012)

*Introverted NT children vs "Asperger's" childen: Peer perception and social behavior.*

I've been thinking about this, especially since I even see a few information sites on the net suggesting that quiet, shy people occupying themselves with more personal things that aren't related to spontaneous conversation with peers, or sports suggests they have autistic tendencies (which obviously, isn't always true)

NTs, particularly ones with a weaker feeling function, are very honest and/or blunt, and in _the social motive, _can even resemble high-functioning autistics. One would think as children, they are overshadowed by their more extroverted peers. I want to confirm some thoughts, and maybe even get somewhere in my attempt to re-evaluate an AS diagnosis I received when I was four (which is causing me anxiety and distress in many areas).

Where did you stand in your social environment? Even broader, what were you like in school? What did teachers think of you? Peers? Did you have any other mental health issues that may have stood out, and how did you and other people deal with them? If so, did you even need certain accommodations at one point? 

An even better question: what would you say the fundamental difference is between INT social reasoning and autistic social reasoning?


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## Priva (Mar 6, 2013)

I think the difference between HFAs and INTxs is that the INT would be able to identify when the bluntness or honesty was appropriate (and wouldn't care if it was), whereas the HFA could not initially. This is assuming both would have some regular degree of social exposure.

For the record, I think I may have autism (Asperger's, if it was still a diagnosis). I've always had social difficulties although whether this is due to lack of exposure (and thus the lack of availability to "pick up" social cues) or the inability to pick up social cues I am not able to easily discern. 
_
What were you like in school?_ I was always very quiet and kept to myself. I enjoyed playing by myself and working by myself (and still do; even if I wasn't socially anxious I would opt to spend a good deal of my time alone). My mother emphasized the importance of doing well in school (even kindergarten), so I took my work seriously (until middle school, when I realized I could slack off and still get an A). I would finish before everyone else and read.

_What did your teachers think of you? _Most liked me. In lower grades, the ones that liked me would try to give me things to do if I was bored. They asked me to grade tests and prepare assignments, which I didn't mind because I enjoyed playing teacher. However on almost every progress report I've ever gotten, teachers always made comments such as, "Would love to see her come out of her shell," or "she should work on participation," etc. Same thing in middle school. I'm in high school now. I participate occasionally, do my work, and do well on tests, so teachers' perceptions of me are positive. 

_Peers?_ Many of my peers in grades K-5 didn't like me. I didn't talk to others much. When I did, it was usually to correct them. I didn't realize how this was perceived until the tail-end of my elementary years. However if someone asked me for help I was usually nice and polite, so those who did ended up realizing I wasn't rude or uppity. In middle school I really kept to myself (and stopped correcting people!); when I did interact it was usually for the purpose of group work and then I attempted to seem friendly. People liked me but were surprised to find how "smart" I was (as far as grades go) since I rarely spoke. It was mostly a time of observation for me, and it was there I learned generally what was socially appropriate and what wasn't, as well as the grey areas in between. High school, some peers like me, some don't. I'm on good terms with most, however I still come across as awkward. Also I now state my mind when so inclined; sometimes these statements can come across as offensive (even though this is unfounded)-ones critiquing the logic of an argument or giving an opinion in a political debate-and that has led to some occasional friction.
_Did you have any other mental health issues that may have stood out, and how did you and other people deal with them?_ I have prosopagnosia, which means I have lots of trouble identifying faces.Over time I learned to use cues, like hairstyle, dress, or gait, to help me identify people. If I see someone out of their usual place, it takes me a while to identify them, and if someone changes their hair, I almost don't recognize them (sometimes I don't at all!). It's embarrassing, but I've learned to laugh it off. Last year, my friend of ~8 months came to school out of uniform and with markedly shorter hair than when I had last saw her, and I didn't recognize her until she spoke! That rarely happens however, although when I was younger it happened a _lot_-even with my own mother! 
I also developed social anxiety at some point between 4th and 5th grade. I still haven't gotten rid of it (not that I tried very hard to until recently). I only participate in discussions when I am very well-versed in or have a very good comment/argument to make about the subject; this sometimes makes me appear argumentative. I do this because, when I am thinking of participating, I become very nervous and overanalyze my thoughts for fear of being misunderstood. This is illogical because I know, rationally, that even if I were to be misunderstood it would not be catastrophic--yet still the nervousness comes. I've actually started therapy to see if I can stop these mental responses. As far as accommodations go, I've had to speak privately with some of my teachers about my level of class participation. I've also had depressive episodes (which seem unrelated to situational events, though they do sometimes have a seasonal component) since around 3rd grade. 

That's much more than you need, I'm sure, but there you go. Perhaps you or others can relate. I'm not sure, as I said, whether my social problems were caused by mere introversion or some form of autism.


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

l only skimmed the above post and am replying as a non introvert, but yes, l would say the difference is that we_ know_ better.

l've never tried to pass any lack of social grace as off as a lack of comprehension on my part. lf there is a social ''rule'' l don't understand, it's probably because it's ridiculous. Presumably we don't experience difficulty with one or more of that major criteria that leads to poor social recognition (of facial expression and tone. 

Not sure what else to say, l understand that it's a spectrum disorder but as far as very easily identifiable traits like that, l can't see myself ''kind of'' not reading facial expressions or ''kind of'' not understanding tone. l appear to have an inherent ability to read such things.

:tongue:

That said, l've talked with a few Aspies who also say they sometimes know better and defy/ignore social convention anyway. At that point, it really is hard to tell the difference, but l suspect they learn later in life.


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## this is my username (Apr 15, 2011)

Asperger's isn't in the DSM anymore


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## pushit (Dec 20, 2012)

this is my username said:


> Asperger's isn't in the DSM anymore


Then Mild Autism works.


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## Scelerat (Oct 21, 2012)

For me it kind of comes down to the fact that I don't really bother with social niceties/small talk etc, because I prefer doing.. you know things that actually matter.


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## Judson Joist (Oct 25, 2013)

You can't spell "neurotypical" without "neurotic."
:tongue:


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## Bahburah (Jul 25, 2013)

High School was interesting for me. 

I when't to an art school so people where more chill and had intellects. 

I was seen as really cool to be honest, and I wasn't even aware of what people thought of me until I was out. 

What I think it is is that I only really using Ti so I would just do what I wanted and didn't care about other people. 

Most people thought I was a dick but didn't know me at all.

I guess going to an art school helped.


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