# So, What Do Women Really Want?



## alice144 (Dec 31, 2009)

Mel Gibson thought he knew. I can't remember that movie much, honestly.


Someone on the INFJ forum stated that he had no idea what women actually wanted, but he figured that by visiting the gym fairly frequently, he was going in the right direction.

I was thinking about it, and I was like, hmm... what do women want? I really couldn't say. The girls I've known are so weird about relationships. Not all of them, but most of them. It probably doesn't help that I work with a bunch of guys. I've become alienated to my own sex!

The normal ones seem more sexually disinterested, come to think of it. Or maybe the term is sexually obsessed. I've known some of those too.

This is less a thread for women to fantasize about their ideal man, but rather for men to speculate on womens' prefererences. Yes, interestested ladies, you are invited too.



Shoot. Go for it.


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## Aerorobyn (Nov 11, 2009)

Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and moneyyyyy...... la la la la 

That's what Good Charlotte said.


Our wants are ever-changing. :wink:


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## mrscientist (Jul 4, 2010)

Depends if you mean about short term or long term relationships?
Short term it is the shallow thngs, just like men.
Long term? Someone who is a good person and can be a provider for a family.


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## Selden (May 24, 2009)

Aerorobyn said:


> Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and moneyyyyy...... la la la la
> 
> That's what Good Charlotte said.
> 
> ...


lol and how come your personality is ever changing. Your now what, ENTJ?


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## Hemoglobin (May 13, 2010)

Somebody that will play Guitar Hero with me 

(I will settle for Dance Dance Revolution though)


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## Miss Scarlet (Jul 26, 2010)

The thing I want the most from a man is honestly not love, not at first at least. I want respect. 

Women don't need men to protect them that is BULL. Women just need men to respect them.


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## Selden (May 24, 2009)

ENTJwillruletheworld said:


> The thing I want the most from a man is honestly not love, not at first at least. I want respect.


The difference between Ts and Fs for the most part. At least the honesty over love part.



> Women don't need men to protect them that is BULL. Women just need men to respect them.


Of course they don't need protection from a bull but what about other things?










But seriously, I know women don't need a man to protect them. But be honest, would you feel better walking through the streets of L.A at night with a man by you?


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## Selden (May 24, 2009)

hemoglobin said:


> Somebody that will play Guitar Hero with me
> 
> (I will settle for Dance Dance Revolution though)


What about someone who can actually play the guitar and play a song or two (or three) for you?


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## OctoberSkye (Jun 3, 2010)

*shrug*

A best friend that I also have sex with. It's that simple and that difficult.


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## Selden (May 24, 2009)

OctoberSkye said:


> *shrug*
> 
> A best friend that I also have sex with. It's that simple and that difficult.


I think everybody wants that.


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## OctoberSkye (Jun 3, 2010)

Selden said:


> I think everybody wants that.


I don't think so. I know plenty of people who don't think of their S.O. as their "best" friend. For me, when I'm with someone, I don't really require anyone else. And that's what makes it so difficult, because I'm seeking so many levels of compatibility. And I wouldn't even want to be friends with seemingly 99% of the people I meet.


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## Selden (May 24, 2009)

OctoberSkye said:


> I don't think so. I know plenty of people who don't think of their S.O. as their "best" friend. For me, when I'm with someone, I don't really require anyone else. And that's what makes it so difficult, because I'm seeking so many levels of compatibility. And I wouldn't even want to be friends with seemingly 99% of the people I meet.


Fine, than it's something _I_ want too.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

I want a man who understands me like no other person in the world. I want a man who can see underneath the layers and appreciate me for who I really am. I want a strong man who is not intimidated by a strong woman.


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## ApolloNoUta (Mar 22, 2010)

All I want is to be respected and loved. I don't give a crap about my S.O.'s money or material items; the only things I really need are emotional. Respect, love, affection, reassurance (not overly, but enough to keep me relaxed), encouragement. I strive to provide these things to my partner and they are what I at least hope for back. I am trying to get through college so I can support myself because I don't think anyone is obligated to help me out (and I feel guilty when someone does help).


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## Oleas (Jul 22, 2010)

OctoberSkye I agree completely.
A best friend you have sex with.

Also, what I value the most is trust.


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## KrystRay (Jun 16, 2010)




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## mrscientist (Jul 4, 2010)

Oh totaly forgot. Women want me to mow the lawn.


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## alice144 (Dec 31, 2009)

Selden said:


> I think everybody wants that.


Some people are confused. 




ApolloNoUta said:


> All I want is to be respected and loved. I don't give a crap about my S.O.'s money or material items; the only things I really need are emotional. Respect, love, affection, reassurance (not overly, but enough to keep me relaxed), encouragement. I strive to provide these things to my partner and they are what I at least hope for back. I am trying to get through college so I can support myself because I don't think anyone is obligated to help me out (and I feel guilty when someone does help).


Yes! I feel like I have to continually discourage men from being my rescuer! I just want someone nice by my side, for emotional support. All the things you said, Apollo. I am a giver, and most people just suck me dry. I need someone who is kind, and easy to be with. I don't expect anything more.


I was kind of hoping to hear from the other sex too, but I am really liking the way this thread is turning out.


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## Miss Scarlet (Jul 26, 2010)

Selden said:


> The difference between Ts and Fs for the most part. At least the honesty over love part.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Hahah Love the picture! Not really. I would feel equally as safe with either a woman, man, or pet bear!


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

mrscientist said:


> Oh totaly forgot. Women want me to mow the lawn.


Oops. I forgot to add that. :tongue:


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## Zic (Dec 30, 2009)

"Boys boys boys
We like boys in cars
Boys boys boys
Buy us drinks in bars
Boys boys boys
With Hairspray and denim
Boys boys boys
We love them
We love them!"

© Lady GaGa


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## AirMarionette (Mar 13, 2010)

Though some of us flourish as young debutantes, 
Some make a game out of finding prey to daunt 
Believe when I say that we're not nonchalant; 
Sometimes we can't help being idiot-savants
(By all means, men, too, have such stories to flaunt!) 
Yet amidst dilly-dallies of pleasure and jaunt, 
We only desire to know what we want.


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## Praxidike (Aug 6, 2010)

Honesty, Respect, Commitment! :happy:


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## Gaminegirlie (Jul 31, 2010)

_We_ want people to stop asking this kind of questions.
Because 'Women' is not 'Woman'
_Not that i can speak for everyone, ha!_


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## Selden (May 24, 2009)

Gaminegirlie said:


> _We_ want people to stop asking this kind of questions.
> Because 'Women' is not 'Woman'
> _Not that i can speak for everyone, ha!_


True but we were trying to find a common interest of all (most) women. That way we know what we can do to please:wink:


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## Aßbiscuits (Oct 8, 2009)

Zic said:


> "Boys boys boys
> We like boys in cars
> Boys boys boys
> Buy us drinks in bars
> ...


*Wow, they are the worst lyrics I have ever seen. That's something an eight-year-old comes up with. Seriously :crazy:

And don't take Gaga's word for it, it's a man.*


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## LadyCat (Aug 6, 2010)

ENTJwillruletheworld said:


> Yoghurt gums? What the heck is that?[/QUOTE
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## alice144 (Dec 31, 2009)

LadyCat said:


> How can one woman know what other women want? Not to talk about the fact that women are different (not only different types, but also you probably won`t find two INTJs that want completely the same thing).
> 
> I wonder what`s the point in speculating without facts to lean on? If every female user tells what she wants, then some sort of summary can be made. And then there is room for speculation (because I don`t think the thread gets enough replies to actually be sure about the results).
> 
> ...




Why not speculate.

We've all been around a pretty long time. You've probably drawn some conclusions by now.

If you don't know, don't say anything. I'm not.


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## darlarosa (Jul 20, 2010)

Why don't I don't know you go talk to a particular female and find out?

You'd be surprised how beyond the most obvious answers women are completely different. I mean there are the givens:

Respect
Honesty
Some kind of politeness
Commitment if shes looking for LTR(Long temr relationship)
Love( LTR dependent)

but even then it's diffrent for every woman.


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## LadyCat (Aug 6, 2010)

alice144 said:


> Why not speculate.
> 
> We've all been around a pretty long time. You've probably drawn some conclusions by now.
> 
> If you don't know, don't say anything. I'm not.


I don`t think 23 years is enough! And speculating without facts to rely on, in my opinion, is rather pointless and even stupid (when there is someone who might take speculating seriously as if it was means to get to the bottom of things). I need to specify that calling the act of speculation `pointless and stupid` does NOT mean I think you are pointless and stupid (for some reason most people can`t seem to look further than their own egos and therefore they find it personally insulting when I speak about actions, not their being. Just so we`re clear, I wanted to elaborate on that one :happy.
As for saying out what I think - I believe more people should speak out instead of staying quiet :happy: Many opinions equals a conversation, that leads to conclusions. The more opinions involved, the more the result can be trusted as being true :happy:

And the point of my text? I think you should say what you as an individual want when it comes to finding a partner in life (just my thoughts, no pressure):happy:


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## alice144 (Dec 31, 2009)

Ladycat, it is probably a fundamental difference in the way that we process information that my question would make sense to me and not to you. Which is kind of what PerC is all about, exploring these different ways of seeing the world, etc, etc...

Just from what I have seen so far I feel as if there is this strange mismatch between the sexes. Women will say that they want, "x, y, z" and either they don't really mean that, or men hear it and interpret it as something else.

I have had girls who are actually in relationships get really clingy with me in an almost sexual way because they weren't getting their needs met. I cannot speak for their relationships because I never saw them, but I was kind of disturbed by how hungry they were.

I think that what you are responding to, LadyCat (and please correct me if I am wrong), is that you do not feel that you fit into the blanket statements made about what women want. Personally, I am coming to wonder if anyone does. All the dating cliches: the nice guy, the femme fatale, the bitch, the player, it's all seems so stupid to me. I'm not saying that I have a whole lot of experience in this, I just know from what I have observed. And the weird thing is that people seem to respond very strongly to certain roles.

I think that kids my age watched too much tv growing up. That's my conclusion.

So yeah, in the end it is two people trying to figure each other out. And that is when personal preferences come into play. But before you have that, you do need (quoting darlarosa here) the honesty, respect, modicum of politeness. Sanity. (knew someone who dated a freak, oops)

But I still wonder why so many people are miserable with their relationships... or are miserable in trying to find a relationship. And the fact that not many people were able to respond to this prompt bothers me. This should be common knowledge.


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## LadyCat (Aug 6, 2010)

alice144 said:


> Ladycat, it is probably a fundamental difference in the way that we process information that my question would make sense to me and not to you. Which is kind of what PerC is all about, exploring these different ways of seeing the world, etc, etc...
> 
> Just from what I have seen so far I feel as if there is this strange mismatch between the sexes. Women will say that they want, "x, y, z" and either they don't really mean that, or men hear it and interpret it as something else.
> 
> ...



I have noticed that people often don`t know what they want (and I`m not so sure I know 100% what I want). They are also very mistrusting and that is why it`s often hard for men to understand what women want (and vise versa). 
I think people are somewhat miserable because they have a tendency to be. For some reason people just either don`t know how to be happy or don`t think they deserve it (and I do understand that, I can clearly remember subconsciously hating myself). People are much harder to read than technology. They are also more interesting. That is why I like to observe.

That someone who dated a freak - I`d like to know what made him/her a freak? I usually like people who are a bit unconventional :tongue:


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## The Proof (Aug 5, 2009)

speculate? I know what women want

women want (besides air and other obvious things) a man, a real man

a man who is constant and doesn't change from minute to minute; women can sometimes change their minds a lot in a short time, if men are constant, attraction appears because opposites attract

hell, sometimes not even women know what they want, which might be the reason for making this thread

women need to be able to rely on their man for direction (don't try to bother me by quoting this and making obvious points, I won't respond)

the man needs to know his purpose, he needs a solid direction in life, he knows what he wants and he will get it, without doubt; this is the same attitude with which he got the woman in the first place

this man puts himself first, not his woman; this man is not significantly influenced by his woman, he maintains his right to say no to his woman, if he deems it necessary; the woman needs to know that however much her man may care about her, if she were to end the relationship, or die, that he will move on, she needs to know that if she were to die, he'd be devastated, but eventually he'd move on

this man is not afraid to say what's on his mind, even if it may offend someone, he doesn't sugarcoat anything, unless the person hearing him is in a bad state, emotionally, in which case he will offer his support

beyond everything, this is a man who is unflinching, a man who takes the challenges of life head on, without undue fear, even if he becomes stressed, he has the internal resources to get himself out of it and continue his task, whatever that is

I could continue, but you get the point

note how I've not listed any physical attributes, like muscles, beauty, or money; that superficial stuff isn't really mandatory, it's nice to have them, in a shallow way; money is good if you're thinking about long term relationships where you support a woman, at least partially, but do not let money or looks fool you, they are not a requirement of being attractive to a woman

NOW then

tell me how right I am, go ahead


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## mrscientist (Jul 4, 2010)

So basically all women want a cowboy.
And yes, you are right, it is all so clear to me now. Ladies here i come!

And no Nate i am not cheating you with another advice giver, you are still #1 player


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## Isildin (Aug 4, 2010)

mrscientist said:


> So basically all women want a cowboy.
> And yes, you are right, it is all so clear to me now. Ladies here i come!
> 
> And no Nate i am not cheating you with another advice giver, you are still #1 player


I guess i have to go buy a cowboy hat and some boots


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## The Proof (Aug 5, 2009)

mrscientist said:


> So basically all women want a cowboy.


I didn't expect you to understand :wink:


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## LadyCat (Aug 6, 2010)

Haplea The Mighty said:


> speculate? I know what women want
> 
> women want (besides air and other obvious things) a man, a real man
> 
> ...



Seems to me that you described a careerist. Some of the characteristics were quite true (it`s not bad if a guy is stable), but on the whole I`d like to find someone with more depth :dry: I don`t think words are enough to describe what I mean. 
Whatever the case, women are different and I`m quite sure many women want a guy described in your post.


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