# ENFP female in love with INFP male best friend



## america (Dec 14, 2015)

Hey guys! I really would love to hear from some incredible INFP guys. 

I've only just discovered INFP males and how incredible you are! I never thought men could have such beautiful hearts and such intoxicating depth. I applaud you for being this way so please, do everyone a favour and just do you. 

My mild issue...Ive recently discovered that i am in love with my best friend.

The issue is, is that he broke up with his ex of two years, and may I add first serious relationship too (living together) almost three months ago in the most horrid way possible. She cheated on him with her friend. 

Now, we became best friends whilst i was was an ear to listen to his heart ache, then i discovered that he liked me (or what i thought he did).

He is 100% open with me. He said he wanted to come stay with me during christmas, he said he wanted a tattoo that symbolised me on him, he shows me that silly part of him that dances and giggles that many girls would be turned off by but i LOVE. He shows me where he comes from, is dying to tell me little details of his private life. He would text me everyday without fail (<3). 

THEN.... he starts telling me all about these girls that he likes and one in particular that we both know who he is now texting. I am completely off his romantic radar, just like that. It was after this party and i left because i felt uncomfortable as girls were flirting with him and he said "don't go, i need you to protect me" and i responded "you arent mine to protect" then must have looked tragically sad as he said "don't look so sad". And i left. 

Now back to 100% friends. (although he is touching me more? maybe as their is no romantic pressure)

Anyway.... 

Do you guys friendzone? or just tell me what you think pleaseeee. Much love and courage to you INFP. 

<3


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## Mr. CafeBot (Jun 13, 2009)

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## hksfdgknsjbdklrafbku (Jan 2, 2015)

america said:


> Hey guys! I really would love to hear from some incredible INFP guys.
> 
> I've only just discovered INFP males and how incredible you are! I never thought men could have such beautiful hearts and such intoxicating depth. I applaud you for being this way so please, do everyone a favour and just do you.
> 
> ...


hi, welcome to personality cafe  hope you like it here!

I'm an INFP male although I haven't had a girlfriend since I was 12 so I guess I'm kinda lacking on that front badly, but I would say it seems 50/50 on whether he likes you or not. I think he seems to know that you like him though, because otherwise he would be more concerned when you looked really sad when you left him at the party I think

It also doesn't seem like he's particularly scarred from his break up if you ask me (like he was flirting with girls and you didn't say he seemed to have changed his behaviour) (thanks to your help maybe? ) so I think you shouldn't see that as an issue, and I'm sure he would perfectly able to let you know he's not ready yet if you misjudged how he felt.

Again I have tiny experience with this kind of stuff, but to me it seems like if you can muster up the courage to tell him how you feel, I don't think anything very bad could come of it, just to me it sounds like your friendship is strong regardless. I really hope you do and it goes well for you cause you seem very into him its cute haha ~ hope that helps


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## CosminThunde (Dec 11, 2015)

I'm an INFP , i don't want to scare you but my ex bff (female) was ENFP.I was open to her , liked spending time togheter , she looked nice but i just didn't like her personality enough too feel an attraction. I knew that she liked me and somehow she told me but in a very hostile way .. that ended our friendship , we don't talk anymore . What i want to say is that if you really like him you should tell him in a nice way and ask for an honest answer and tell him that if he feels otherwise you'd still remain bffs because if he doesn't like you and you seem mad because of it , it's over. I'd say telling him is better than flirting with him , since INFPs can be very private on their feelings and feel too shy to answer with the same level of affection , at least in the begining . Good luck , let us know what happened! you should tell him!


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## Notus Asphodelus (Jan 20, 2015)

Just for once, ask him earnestly this question: Do you like me as a friend or more than that? 

All these other girls, and many of them too.. they are just numbers. He's searching for more than just a listening ear. He's looking for someone to love. Go ask him at least once to express to him that you are open for a deeper relationship. He can either take it or leave it. At least with his answer , you would know where you stand with him.


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## america (Dec 14, 2015)

Hey pearslug! Thank you so much for taking the time to respond! 

Thats a very good point, he definitely knew that I liked him or else he would have responded differently. good observation.

I actually think he is pretty hurt but i think (perhaps with my influence) has gained an incredible amount of confidence since we became close and is discovering that being true to who he is, he is attracting many girls.

And i have the courage, especially following your advice! wish me luck


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## america (Dec 14, 2015)

CosminThunde said:


> I'm an INFP , i don't want to scare you but my ex bff (female) was ENFP.I was open to her , liked spending time togheter , she looked nice but i just didn't like her personality enough too feel an attraction. I knew that she liked me and somehow she told me but in a very hostile way .. that ended our friendship , we don't talk anymore . What i want to say is that if you really like him you should tell him in a nice way and ask for an honest answer and tell him that if he feels otherwise you'd still remain bffs because if he doesn't like you and you seem mad because of it , it's over. I'd say telling him is better than flirting with him , since INFPs can be very private on their feelings and feel too shy to answer with the same level of affection , at least in the begining . Good luck , let us know what happened! you should tell him!


Hey! thanks for your story, was great to hear! what in particular is a turn off for INFP guys would you say ? 

Im going to tell him! But need to wait till after xmas. hopefully he will miss me (fingers crossed)!


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## america (Dec 14, 2015)

LuvGen said:


> Just for once, ask him earnestly this question: Do you like me as a friend or more than that?
> 
> All these other girls, and many of them too.. they are just numbers. He's searching for more than just a listening ear. He's looking for someone to love. Go ask him at least once to express to him that you are open for a deeper relationship. He can either take it or leave it. At least with his answer , you would know where you stand with him.


Direct, no bullshit response. I love it. a milliion thank yous!


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## hksfdgknsjbdklrafbku (Jan 2, 2015)

america said:


> Hey pearslug! Thank you so much for taking the time to respond!
> 
> Thats a very good point, he definitely knew that I liked him or else he would have responded differently. good observation.
> 
> ...


Good luck! 

(in my opinion you shouldn't be too direct as he might feel under pressure and have an unnatural response, but you know him better than me of course)


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## CosminThunde (Dec 11, 2015)

A turn-off in my opiniong is making an INFP take risks involving relationships.. at least for me.. i really hate that , it makes me feel uncomfortable as i rarely innitiate in a relationship , i also see risk-taking breaking the touch barrier , i'm very nervous. However i could tell what i like in girls. I like girls that are shy , sociable , visionary .. however even though a girl would completely fit my "type" of perfect personality , looks really matter , for instance if a girl looks amazing i care less about the personality which makes me think that if i'm in a relationship with a girl with good looks and bad personality traits , it won't last long.. however i'll try to change her.. to show her the dreamy side of the world. If it's something i like about people in general is seeing those " sparkly eyes " which inspire me imagination , curiosity and willing to learn . Hope i've been clear enough as english's not my mother tongue.


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## Blue Soul (Mar 14, 2015)

@america Welcome to the forum! Like others said, ask him straight up where you two are. If he's not 100% in it for you, stay friends. Rebounds are dangerous, take it slow.


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## sudo (Dec 8, 2015)

Welcome!






america said:


> Hey guys! I really would love to hear from some incredible INFP guys.


A not incredible INFP here.




> I've only just discovered INFP males and how incredible you are!


*blush*




> I never thought men could have such beautiful hearts and such intoxicating depth


We also have a dark and antagonistic side - at least I do, but I might be more of a hybrid! :shhh:





> I applaud you for being this way so please, do everyone a favour and just do you.


It's Fi (or in my case Fi + 4w5) that makes us unable to be anything other than ourselves. 




> My mild issue...Ive recently discovered that i am in love with my best friend.


Platonic relationships, especially among heterosexuals of the opposite sex, can often lead to romantic ones.



> The issue is, is that he broke up with his ex of two years, and may I add first serious relationship too (living together) almost three months ago in the most horrid way possible. She cheated on him with her friend.






> He is 100% open with me. He said he wanted to come stay with me during christmas, he said he wanted a tattoo that symbolised me on him, he shows me that silly part of him that dances and giggles that many girls would be turned off by but i LOVE. He shows me where he comes from, is dying to tell me little details of his private life. He would text me everyday without fail (<3).


I can't speak for all male INFPs, but if he is genuinely open with you (while concealing that part of himself to others) it means that he most certainly trusts and cares about you. Personally, I could NEVER reveal my entire self (display all dimensions of my personality) to anyone unless I completely and utterly trusted and cared about them.



> THEN.... he starts telling me all about these girls that he likes and one in particular that we both know who he is now texting. I am completely off his romantic radar, just like that. It was after this party and i left because i felt uncomfortable as girls were flirting with him and he said "don't go, i need you to protect me" and i responded "you arent mine to protect" then must have looked tragically sad as he said "don't look so sad". And i left.


Okay, this makes me think you guys are really young, or he might be playing mind games or trying to make you jealous. Could he be testing you?



> Do you guys friendzone?


I do, despite the stereotype that "all men just want sex".


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