# This is offensive and personal



## The Hungry One (Jan 26, 2011)

what_if said:


> Very interesting insight! Thank you! My intention was not to offend you, I just wanted to understand more of this feeling, what I am so often wondering about. I find it interesting, that you compared your feelings to a physical room and people messing it up.
> 
> So being offended is kind of like 'revenging' or correcting people, who are stepping into your "feelings room", which you feel is a sign of disrespect and people doing that is frustrating and that is what causes the feeling?


I'm not sure it's revenging as much as it's just an uncontrollable feeling of annoyance as Another Lost Cause said. I think it's possible that people who are easily offended just care more about things and are more easily annoyed.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

I'm defended by all of this.


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## Solrac026 (Mar 6, 2012)

There are so many factors that play into this; how and when criticisms are delivered, the type of person that is at the receiving end of the comments, etc. You also have to consider that many are happy where they are and do not plan on improving themselves. I myself keep my own feedback to other NTs that have the maturity to withstand hard critiques and close friends. However, I was recently promoted and now have to give feedback to my "underlings". For this, I'll practice in advance what criticisms I need to provide and also balance out with good stuff and praise. Thankfully, I work with competent people, so it shouldn't be impossible.


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## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

what_if said:


> I really want to understand the concept, of why people take things personal, when they actually shouldn't. One interpretation on mine is a lack of self-awareness and self-confidence of these people.
> 
> When someone starts to criticize me, I take that feedback, evaluate it against my own opinion&facts of the situation and my behavior and then make a decision about being upset or not. If the offender is right, and I agree that something was not perfect from my part, I'd like to thank him for pointing that out, so that I can start having some thoughts on how to change things and improve. If I don't agree with the feedback, I just continue being awesome! It's only one opinion out of many with maybe a intention of getting a reaction out of me, so why would I give them that pleasure?
> 
> ...



Be careful, it is only a matter of time before your persona is attacked and/or you must cater to the _sensibilities_ of everyone under the sun, that is - or you are inhuman; or just ''being yourself'' is a direct attack on humanity + them, themselves, thus you must '_reform_'.

I call people in their perpetuating of uselessness + laziness. They seek me for help; then deny it. My time is wasted - either they want a cure / solution or they do not. They must interpret this; or they will remain in their failure - there are individuals that correct; and there are individuals that dismiss. 

Useless > Useful - That is how it works - negativity are formers; thus we must address them.

And, _oh goodie_ - you've already ''offended'' a few by merely a thread - 

Many human animals have innate inferiority complexes - there is _nothing_ you can do; only ignore - you cannot cater the sensibilities of others, definitely not those who reject to understand your persona + compromise; *we must move on*, not reason with them.

Many will remain in the pit to sob - I have better things to worry about; you cannot help the _unwilling_.


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## Stickman (Sep 30, 2012)

The Hungry One said:


> Then what would the feeling of not accepting a terrible thing be called, if not offense?


You can accept that terrible things exist without accepting them as normal. For me, the feeling associated with that is sadness.


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## Stickman (Sep 30, 2012)

ScientiaOmnisEst said:


> I've read this multiple times trying to make sense of it. Because it doesn't make sense to me if we're talking about offense in relation to personal criticism. I'd buy this explanation when it comes to say, social justice-style "offense" that freaks out over every minuscule nuance in modern society, but getting hurt by personal criticism because boredom? Makes no sense unless the person is genuinely mentally troubled.
> 
> Granted, being hurt or otherwise emotionally affected by criticism is, for me, such an automatic response that the idea that I (or anyone who experiences something similar) am simply feeling that way to "pass the time" sounds kinda absurd. Yes, I fully admit to my own self-reference here.


My post does refer to the 'social justice-style "offense"' kind of offense.

Actually getting offended by something that's specificaly targeted at you is an entirely different matter.


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## ScientiaOmnisEst (Oct 2, 2013)

Stickman said:


> My post does refer to the 'social justice-style "offense"' kind of offense.
> 
> Actually getting offended by something that's specificaly targeted at you is an entirely different matter.


I see. Because the OP sounded like it was talking more about personal offense, so your post looked a little off to me .


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## Kynx (Feb 6, 2012)

I've lost count of the amount of times that NT's have assumed I'm taking something personal when I'm not. 
Basically, they don't understand my reasoning and therefore decide that the only explanation is that I'm offended. 

Consider that at times you're likely perceiving your own inferior projections in the behavior of others, rather than what's actually there.


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## 0+n*1 (Sep 20, 2013)

If I get offended it's out of insecurity. Definitely. With insecurity there's lack of self-awareness. I don't like getting offended because I know it speaks more about the way I see myself. I'm talking about those cases where the offense shouldn't be taken but is. The problem with getting offended is focusing on the offender rather than the source of insecurity that made you feel offended in the first place. I get offended to protect me from thinking I'm imperfect and not the person i want to be, the ideal. From feeling wrong, from feeling like shit. This hinders progress. Some people just want to get a reaction from me but, if I feel offended, what matters is not that they are shaking me and somehow have an influence on me but that I'm not the person I want to be and I should focus on that instead. The moment you get mad at them, you lose their game, but more importantly you hinder your progress. Never stop directing your every thought and feeling to yourself.


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