# Are lesbians virgins?



## kudi (Sep 27, 2011)

This is a random question that I thought off when I was reading an article about a 28 year old virgin, in it she had gotten hot and heavy, but never actually did the penis in vagina part. And lesbians well just are not born with the equipment to do that. So that would mean most lesbians are ...virgins. How does everyone else define virginity, should its definition be expanded and how far? 

I sometimes see the notion that sex is sooo much better if you wait, I think that is a load of bull. Waiting doesn't guarantee anything, its a personal choice of your own choosing nothing more nothing less.


----------



## Harley (Jul 5, 2009)

The only lesbians who are virgins are the ones who have never had any sexual intercourse of any kind. Outside from that group, no lesbians are not virgins. If your idea of losing your virginity is penis-in-vagina than a large majority of gay men would be virgins too because last time I checked most gay men don't have vaginas. I don't want to get too deep into the definition of virginity except that it is wrapped up in so many layers of societal expectations of sex and gender roles that there really is no finite concrete definition of virginity.


----------



## Disfigurine (Jan 1, 2011)

No.


10char


----------



## twoofthree (Aug 6, 2011)

Harley said:


> The only lesbians who are virgins are the ones who have never had any sexual intercourse of any kind. Outside from that group, no lesbians are not virgins. If you idea of losing your virginity is penis-in-vagina than a large majority of gay men would be virgins too because last time I checked most gay men don't have vaginas. I don't want to get too deep into the definition of virginity except that it is wrapped up in so many layers of societal expectations of sex and gender roles that there really is no finite concrete definition of virginity.


what she said


----------



## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

kudi said:


> I sometimes see the notion that sex is sooo much better if you wait, I think that is a load of bull. Waiting doesn't guarantee anything, its a personal choice of your own choosing nothing more nothing less.


I don't think it's the "waiting" that makes it better, I think it's simply being in the proper state of mind to approaching sex in a way that maximizes what you get out of it. For some, this might mean waiting longer than others, whether for the right person, or the right situation, or the right mindset.

The first time I had sex ends up being a great story, but I wish I hadn't done it. It was much more special with other people / after I acquired more life knowledge.

As far as lesbian virgins... well, like other views here, sex is sex to me. I might distinguish a bit between fellatio versus pentrative sex (where a man's penis is involved), but lesbian sex where they're not just using hands to genitals but mouth and/or whatever else, well, it seems to fit the definition of typical sex to me. And maybe I should include hands too.


----------



## knittigan (Sep 2, 2011)

No, lesbians are not virgins. 

Experiencing penetrative sex is not what defines someone as a virgin or not. The loss of one's virginity is the act of engaging in sexual activities with a partner as opposed to alone. Different sexual acts obviously hold different meanings for different people and that's fine, but there isn't really a lot of validity in saying that someone is or is not a virgin because they have only participated in certain sex acts with a partner and not others. 

Unfortunately, a lot of people still do believe that this is the case, but that simply reflects the fact that most people have a very narrow definition of sexuality, i.e. a heteronormative one whereby the only kind of sex that matters or counts is of the heterosexual variety.

Even if you do want to describe virginity as solely referential to penetrative sex (which I wouldn't really encourage, but whatever), there are plenty of ways to be penetrated without a penis and without a man... just saying.


----------



## antiant (Jul 4, 2010)

*blank stare*


----------



## tattoolady (Sep 29, 2011)

Sex is Sex. so no.


----------



## KINGoftheAMAZONS (Jun 21, 2011)

Honestly, I think it's a bit insulting for society to assume that there has to be a penis involved for 'real sex' (I'm not saying you've insulted me OP). And that's basically all what it comes down to when people assert that lesbians are still virgins even if they've had sex with other women. Most people don't tell sexually active gay men that they are still virgins. In my opinion this is another form of lowering women into an inferior status, because basically what is being implied is that women don't have the power or capability of taking someone's virginity away. That 'power', 'honor' and 'privilege' is exclusively reserved for men. And it also implies that lesbian sex is automatically inferior and 'not as effective' because a man isn't involved. This kind of rationale puts men into a superior status, as it gives them more power than women in the bedroom, and gives the control of a woman's sex to a man, because if women want to have 'real sex' then they have to let a man put himself inside of them (Not that there's anything wrong with penis/vaginal intercourse. Just that it's not for everyone). But to answer the OP's question, no lesbian is a virgin that has consensually had sex with another woman (even if she's only had sex with women).


----------



## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

KINGoftheAMAZONS said:


> Honestly, I think it's a bit insulting for society to assume that there has to be a penis involved for 'real sex' (I'm not saying you've insulted me OP). And that's basically all what it comes down to when people assert that lesbians are still virgins even if they've had sex with other women. Most people don't tell sexually active gay men that they are still virgins. In my opinion this is another form of lowering women into an inferior status, because basically what is being implied is that women don't have the power or capability of taking someone's virginity away. That 'power', 'honor' and 'privilege' is exclusively reserved for men. And it also implies that lesbian sex is automatically inferior and 'not as effective' because a man isn't involved. This kind of rationale puts men into a superior status, as it gives them more power than women in the bedroom, and gives the control of a woman's sex to a man, because if women want to have 'real sex' then they have to let a man put himself inside of them (Not that there's anything wrong with penis/vaginal intercourse. Just that it's not for everyone). But to answer the OP's question, no lesbian is a virgin that has consensually had sex with another woman (even if she's only had sex with women).


You said what I was going to say. Because the OP is directing it at lesbians (females) not homosexual males. No one really ever questions homosexual males about whether they're virgins or not. There's something about penetration that people anoint with all this "power" as you said.


----------



## DustyDrill (May 20, 2011)

I love the technicalities of virginity. It's humorous to me.

I heard about this girl who would only do anal because she wanted to stay a virgin. I also hear this is popular among retarded Christian girls. Bitch, you're so far gone from virgin when you take a dick in the ass it's not even funny. Your V-Card isn't just stamped, it's got a fucking grave stone. 

Jennifer's Virginity
1995-2011


----------



## KINGoftheAMAZONS (Jun 21, 2011)

Fizz said:


> No one really ever questions homosexual males about whether they're virgins or not.


Not only that, but every time someone hears the phrase 'gay sex', most people automatically think of a man who is anally penetrating another man. Most scientific studies on homosexuals are done specifically on gay/bisexual men. It's almost as if lesbianism is only important when it occurs for the voyeuristic pleasures of the male population. Anything beyond that, and it's an irrelevant part of human sexuality. How many lesbian/bisexual/pansexual women here have been told that they are not physically capable of pleasuring a woman like men are? The more simplistic view to all of this is "no one can have a good or real sex life without dick".



> There's something about penetration that people anoint with all this "power" as you said.


It's an ancient belief to worship the penis. It is this same ideology that leads us into sex/gender role schisms like 'penetrator/penetrated', 'active partner/submissive partner', and 'top/bottom'. These roles introduce power and superior/inferior statuses into human sex acts. When society proclaims that a penis (in the act of penetrating) is necessary for real sex to take place, then that automatically gives the position of power and superiority to all those people who have a penis, men. 

This is why 1) women are automatically seen as inferior in the scheme of sex/gender roles, 2) why lesbian sex is not considered to be 'real' like gay male and heterosexual intercourse, and 3) why society scoffs at the idea of a man being penetrated, because then that would mean that he is lowering himself into the inferior status reserved for women. The most influential Western source of this kind of thinking is that of ancient Rome.


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

kudi said:


> This is a random question that I thought off when I was reading an article about a 28 year old virgin, in it she had gotten hot and heavy, but never actually did the penis in vagina part. And lesbians well just are not born with the equipment to do that. So that would mean most lesbians are ...virgins. How does everyone else define virginity, should its definition be expanded and how far?
> 
> I sometimes see the notion that sex is sooo much better if you wait, I think that is a load of bull. Waiting doesn't guarantee anything, its a personal choice of your own choosing nothing more nothing less.


You need to brush up on your anatomy...pay particular attention to the online lessons from Dr. Hymen.


----------



## Kr3m1in (Jan 16, 2011)

No, but this section of the forum is 18+.

I am Jack's broken record.


----------



## knittigan (Sep 2, 2011)

KINGoftheAMAZONS said:


> It's almost as if lesbianism is only important when it occurs for the voyeuristic pleasures of the male population. Anything beyond that, and it's an irrelevant part of human sexuality. How many lesbian/bisexual/pansexual women here have been told that they are not physically capable of pleasuring a woman like men are? The more simplistic view to all of this is "no one can have a good or real sex life without dick".
> 
> It's an ancient belief to worship the penis. It is this same ideology that leads us into sex/gender role schisms like 'penetrator/penetrated', 'active partner/submissive partner', and 'top/bottom'. These roles introduce power and superior/inferior statuses into human sex acts. When society proclaims that a penis (in the act of penetrating) is necessary for real sex to take place, then that automatically gives the position of power and superiority to all those people who have a penis, men.
> 
> This is why 1) women are automatically seen as inferior in the scheme of sex/gender roles, 2) why lesbian sex is not considered to be 'real' like gay male and heterosexual intercourse, and 3) why society scoffs at the idea of a man being penetrated, because then that would mean that he is lowering himself into the inferior status reserved for women. The most influential Western source of this kind of thinking is that of ancient Rome.


This. All of it. This.

I think I love you.


----------



## Master Mind (Aug 15, 2011)

Ignorant question. Lesbians have sex.


----------



## Brian1 (May 7, 2011)

Porn, solves this question. There are too many to name videos out there of women being in compromising positions with women, and enjoying the pleasure pleasurable company of the other. I fail to see how these experiences make these people virgins, after everything they do.


----------



## Hardstyler (Sep 4, 2010)

Logically no because of penis penetration .
Mental and Emotionally yes.
Same as Gay Guys technically they haven't put there penis into a vagina so logically there virgins as well.


----------



## Sheppard (Jul 4, 2011)

As if lesbians weren't hot enough already, now you have planted this in my mind


----------



## Eric B (Jun 18, 2010)

KINGoftheAMAZONS said:


> It's an ancient belief to worship the penis. It is this same ideology that leads us into sex/gender role schisms like 'penetrator/penetrated', 'active partner/submissive partner', and 'top/bottom'. These roles introduce power and superior/inferior statuses into human sex acts. When society proclaims that a penis (in the act of penetrating) is necessary for real sex to take place, then that automatically gives the position of power and superiority to all those people who have a penis, men.
> 
> This is why 1) women are automatically seen as inferior in the scheme of sex/gender roles, 2) why lesbian sex is not considered to be 'real' like gay male and heterosexual intercourse, and 3) why society scoffs at the idea of a man being penetrated, because then that would mean that he is lowering himself into the inferior status reserved for women. The most influential Western source of this kind of thinking is that of ancient Rome.


 Yes, it stems from a male dominant perspective where a woman is "tainted" or "used" if had by another man. So either the hetero "technical" stuff, or lesbianism portray a woman who is being sexual without being "occupied"/"claimed" so to speak, by a man.

Irony is, that most lesbians report having been with men at some point, and those who haven't (the "goldstars" are still said to be rare. So the issue is more moot than it seems.


----------

