# Is this a sign of bad Se?



## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

So I have this odd situation where I find myself quite often in a specific situation which stresses me out, namely I often get caught between two bickering emotionally manipulative females who cause drama and they vent part of it out on me.

<.< I used to be slightly more tolerant ... however my reaction to this has always been at first a desperate need to get away, but since I can't, I experience the loss of emotional control, irrationality and a need to destroy stuff physically, to forcefully subjugate. I'm a 6 so flight or fight is normal I guess. The extreme reaction however betrays a certain vulnerability to Fe & Se?

 I guess ppl are lucky I can control the rage and at worst I'll smash something, yell, make threats and forcefully shut ppl down via intimidation, however I'm kenly aware that if someone decides to physically oppose me it could quickly escalate. Its rather violent defense mechanism -.-.. normally I detest violence.

This inevitably happens if I have to face a highly charged negative Fe situation.

Something like this:









People have told me that at those times I become quite scary and its something most ppl don't expect, since normally I'm calm collected and friendly even inf not emotionally expressive and a bit distant. :/ I do not like conflict.

Its not that I dislike that state... since I enjoy it quite a bit. Its like a release. I would love nothing more then to smash everything around me to pieces and subjugate everyone to my will by force :/... which is odd, because normally I'm live and let live / give me my space I give you yours.

I was wondering if this has anything related to m use of Se or I'm just barking mad and need anger management?


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## B3LIAL (Dec 21, 2013)

Sounds more like Inferior Fe to me since you're ISTP.

You're not used to dealing with these sorts of emotions often so you don't know how to deal with them.

I'm also ISTP and I can relate.

If people just got along you'd be completely fine. If people just calmed their bitch tits down and stopped being c*nts to each other, and everyone was respectful, everything would be ok.

But no. Some people's ego's are just too sensitive and they always feel the need to just bitch at someone who bitched at them, instead of just leaving it alone.

You feel bad for being like this, but sometimes you feel as if people just need a lord and master to get them to shut the fuck up. Once humans are ruled by someone who can shut them up, they will shut up and be good little boys and girls.

BUT....

Obviously we believe in freedom, like I do. 

Take comfort in the fact that the only reason you'd do this is because people are being dicks first. 

I personally practice meditation and it helps a lot.


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

B3LIAL said:


> Sounds more like Inferior Fe to me since you're ISTP.
> 
> You're not used to dealing with these sorts of emotions often so you don't know how to deal with them.
> 
> ...


Yeah, normally freedom, but when I'm like that its more like "submit or I will crush you or die trying".
Very negative emotional situations are unbearable as you say.


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## Sylas (Jul 23, 2016)

LibertyPrime said:


> So I have this odd situation where I find myself quite often in a specific situation which stresses me out, namely I often get caught between two bickering emotionally manipulative females who cause drama and they vent part of it out on me.
> 
> <.< I used to be slightly more tolerant ... however my reaction to this has always been at first a desperate need to get away, but since I can't, I experience the loss of emotional control, irrationality and a need to destroy stuff physically, to forcefully subjugate. I'm a 6 so flight or fight is normal I guess. The extreme reaction however betrays a certain vulnerability to Fe & Se?


This article Dimensionality of Functions by Eglit - Wikisocion mentions the same thing about 1-dimensional Fe of SLI: not knowing how to respond to emotional expressions. Congrats, you have found your Fe poLR!

"Misunderstandings occurs when a person, for example, sits and tearfully tells a story of how he was supposedly offended. This entire situation is such that help is not actually required, there's nothing to help with. But for some reason he is still telling about it! And often I find myself quietly falling into stupor, frantically trying to figure out what kind of response is required out of me. Obviously, no thoughts come to my mind, except: "Huh, so what do I do, what do you want?" All of this is reflected with corresponding expression on my face, and the person ... becomes angry, not seeing a sufficient response to his story.
(1-dimensional Fe : SLI "Gabin")
Stupor, desire to understand of how one should respond (norms), what is needed.​


> I guess ppl are lucky I can control the rage and at worst I'll smash something, yell, make threats and forcefully shut ppl down via intimidation, however I'm kenly aware that if someone decides to physically oppose me it could quickly escalate. Its rather violent defense mechanism -.-.. normally I detest violence.


I don't think anyone likes it when they blow up and use physical force and violence against other people. Even SLEs don't like situations like that, and they can blow up if you constantly point out and criticize their lack of Fi. It's not really a sign of being sensitive to Se. Se is static perception of objects - it isn't violence.


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

Sylas said:


> This article Dimensionality of Functions by Eglit - Wikisocion mentions the same thing about 1-dimensional Fe of SLI: not knowing how to respond to emotional expressions. Congrats, you have found your Fe poLR!
> 
> "Misunderstandings occurs when a person, for example, sits and tearfully tells a story of how he was supposedly offended. This entire situation is such that help is not actually required, there's nothing to help with. But for some reason he is still telling about it! And often I find myself quietly falling into stupor, frantically trying to figure out what kind of response is required out of me. Obviously, no thoughts come to my mind, except: "Huh, so what do I do, what do you want?" All of this is reflected with corresponding expression on my face, and the person ... becomes angry, not seeing a sufficient response to his story.
> (1-dimensional Fe : SLI "Gabin")
> Stupor, desire to understand of how one should respond (norms), what is needed.​


Hm idk, I'm fairly good at reading the emotional state of other ppl from body language alone and as far as I know I'm rather good at comprehending what they want or what is precisely going on, even when its not clear to them. Best guess is that growing up in a family environment where drama and emotional manipulation, guilt trips etc were common sort of trained me to "get" ppl and to be subconsciously aware of these subtle details. Distinguishing between them is imo rather easy. The necessity to be like this will make sense once I explain what the real issue is:

The real issue is with tolerance. Situations with a lot of emotional drama and conflict overload me so I either predict and escape or if I can't escape, I attack in order to subdue the situation by overpowering the source. The reason is probably because I can't handle it. This is ofc more of a knee-jerk reaction and not a actual solution.

Ofc, I don't know how to properly show sympathy or going through the motions of what would be required of me to actually give comfort to someone can be rather awkward and primitive, so I rather resort to fixes when I know the person wants actual solutions... but I'm often at a loss when they don't. So idk how to show sympathy and I can comprehend them in my head, but I probably don't feel for them either... so idk what to do and often get annoyed seeing it as whining. I have been criticized often for "behavior inappropriate to the situation", because idk how to respond, but its not the source of the reaction to strong negative Fe.

So its not like I'm trying to figure them out and I don't get them, scrambling for solutions. I know what they feel, what they want, what is happening, why it is happening and it either frustrates me that I suck at responding like that or annoys me because its just whining and the person really just needs a change in mentality. A lot of ppl just like feeling sorry for themselves and its a real damn shame they have that shitty narcissistic victim mentality.



> I don't think anyone likes it when they blow up and use physical force and violence against other people. Even SLEs don't like situations like that, and they can blow up if you constantly point out and criticize their lack of Fi. It's not really a sign of being sensitive to Se. Se is static perception of objects - it isn't violence.


Aham.


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