# I think attractive people are generally nicer and kinder



## xEmilyx (Jan 3, 2011)

Um I can say yay and nay to this. I've seen plenty of good looking people in college....not be so nice. And I've seen some not as attractive people act very nice. 
*shrugs*
I guess it's just how they decided to deal with life and the problems that they've had....whether they want to become the victim or victor of their challenges.


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## Kriash (May 5, 2011)

I feel like all of your threads are about looks, or about being unhappy. I also feel they are directly correlated. 
There is more to life than attractive people. Sure, I think that a lot of attractive people have more confidence and thus might come off more friendly at first. However I feel like trying to set some sort of standard relating the two is shallow and pointless.
How you act toward someone largely contributes to how they react to you. I do wonder if it is possible that by assuming that skin deep beauty is the end-all you have alienated anyone you don't find physically attractive and therefor you are less receptive to them and thus find them cold, distant, or unfriendly.

This could be wrong of course, it's purely speculation. However- how we act and react plays a large part in how the world interacts with us.


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## gwennylou (Jun 19, 2009)

Kriash said:


> I feel like all of your threads are about looks, or about being unhappy. I also feel they are directly correlated.
> There is more to life than attractive people. Sure, I think that a lot of attractive people have more confidence and thus might come off more friendly at first. However I feel like trying to set some sort of standard relating the two is shallow and pointless.
> How you act toward someone largely contributes to how they react to you. I do wonder if it is possible that by assuming that skin deep beauty is the end-all you have alienated anyone you don't find physically attractive and therefor you are less receptive to them and thus find them cold, distant, or unfriendly.
> 
> This could be wrong of course, it's purely speculation. However- how we act and react plays a large part in how the world interacts with us.


I have to agree with this. People react to how they are treated. If they are constantly treated like they are worthless simply because they don't look like a model or are "attractive" on the outside, do you really think they'd respond in a positive way to you? The only reason attractive people are nicer or more friendly, is because they are put on a pedestal and worshiped as if they were gods. Yeah, they will react positively and nicely to that. Who wouldn't? It's ridiculous to claim that ugly or unattractive people are mean and generally not nice, because they are ugly or unattractive. It has far more to do with how society treats people who weren't graced with natural gorgeous skin/hair/body/teeth/smile. Rather than contributing to the problem of ugly people being mean, maybe people should start treating all people with respect and dignity regardless of their looks.


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## Aeloria (Sep 3, 2012)

Pretty much all the fat people I know are stereotypically jolly. I also know a number of gorgeous, hollow, bitter cannibals who make avid nihilists look like baptist care bears.

There is of course an effect on a person's self-esteem based on their physical appearance and the way they would rather look, but I've observed it to be more of a shyness than a meanness.

I mean, there is an actual stereotype of overweight people being excessively friendly. When you can't rely on your looks to make an impression, you have to put more into your communication and interaction with others. Extraverted less-than-good-looking people have the advantage of not being able to rely on their looks, in terms of interpersonal communication.

It sucks that you have encountered otherwise. It always sucks to encounter unpleasant people, regardless of their appearance. I honestly don't think there is any significant link between appearance and friendliness.


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## Trophycase (Dec 7, 2012)

I find that most "attractive" women aren't attractive at all. Maybe it's just my INFJ powers but I can look at them for 2 seconds and tell that they are superficial. Obviously, being treated well your entire life can have the effect of making you treat others better, while it could also make you very arrogant. On the other hand, as has been said, being unattractive can lead to developing interesting personalities.

Interestingly enough though, I find that someone's "subjective" attractiveness is completely proportional to their personality. I don't care if you're the best (physically) looking woman in the world, if you're obnoxious or stupid I won't even make a second glance at you.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

WHAT? I've met really attractive people who are absolutely vicious.

I think you might be confusing physically attractive with a person is mentally stable, educated, and well-groomed. Yes, people who are mentally healthy and educated enough to have proper hygiene and have poise and a good carriage, usually are more pleasant to be around than unhappy, mentally ill, or extremely ignorant people from very impoverished or abusive backgrounds.

The man you described with the "country accent" is probably from a working class or truly poor family, in which racism and bigotry is still a common social norm. He may not meet your standards for physically attractive, as he may not be able to afford the clothes and grooming products of your more privileged peers. 

I know what kind of correlation you're making but it has no real relevance to biological physical symmetry, and not even to being well-dressed, but to your probably limited life experience as a young person, comparing people from more privileged backgrounds (who were probably raised middle class and to be polite and socially mainstream) to people from less privileged circumstances.

Yes, poor people can be mean if they're pushed into a certain level of misery, and a hard life and crappy clothes can make a person seem "ugly" if you've been sheltered and had nice things your whole life, you may wonder why they're in such a bad mood, but I assure you, some of them have good reason.

But the converse is true. There are many "beautiful people" in L.A. who are complete pieces of shit as human beings. Are you from a small or medium sized town in the South by any chance?


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

Trophycase said:


> I find that most "attractive" women aren't attractive at all. Maybe it's just my INFJ powers but I can look at them for 2 seconds and tell that they are superficial. Obviously, being treated well your entire life can have the effect of making you treat others better, while it could also make you very arrogant. On the other hand, as has been said, being unattractive can lead to developing interesting personalities.
> 
> Interestingly enough though, I find that someone's "subjective" attractiveness is completely proportional to their personality. I don't care if you're the best (physically) looking woman in the world, if you're obnoxious or stupid I won't even make a second glance at you.


No I don't think it has anything to do with being an INFJ, it has to do with the ability to discern whether a woman's attractiveness is largely due to grooming.

Wealth is considered beautiful in the U.S. and things which are associated with wealth in the U.S. are: either a thin or muscular "gym body" and usually a spray or tanning bed tan on white women, having hair and nails done, etc.

There's actually this thing on-line that says "any woman can be beautiful" and they make over some plain women to look like beauty pageant contestants. 

All of that is achieved by money, and money on top of youth? Even more convenient.


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## SuperDevastation (Jun 7, 2010)

Attractive people aren't nicer and kinder. In fact a lot of them are stuck up and arrogant. The worst ones can get people to do and believe what they want, at least certain kinds of people.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

Nick Carraway said:


> as humans, aren't we all superficial to an extent?
> 
> I have met a lot of shallow people with average looks, these days average looking women feel entitled to a brad pitt. Don't believe me? Look at online dating.


Brad Pitt is old. Don't you mean Channing Tatum? Or Ryan Gosling?


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

Dylio said:


> In my experience, I find gorgeous guys to be typically nicer than pretty girls...


I find that men who are more comfortable around women are also less "picky." I've noticed a strange tendency for a lot of sweaty, overweight men with halitosis, or underweight pale nerds to be the meanest about how they think women should look, which is a bizarre irony. "Oh, only Jessica Biel for me!" says the obese man with greasy hair whose tie is askew. "ALL MEN LIKE VERY SKINNY WOMAN" says the eating-disorder perpetuating dork who always complains about how he can't get a proper date. 

This could be what the OP is talking about, he could be talking about how guys who are ...gosh, they don't even have to be "gorgeous"...they can just be kind of cute and confident or outgoing...tend to have an easier time getting girlfriends, because they like a wide variety of women, and they weirdly seem less inclined to have harsh standards. It's never ceased to amaze me how some of the homeliest men think they deserve a much better looking mate than themselves.

ON THE OTHER HAND...there are also really well-groomed, upper middle class handsome men who expect all of their girlfriends to look like this month's cover of Elle.

It's more like it's a personality defect, because some people who seem very "attractive" actually just exercise more, or get more sun, or are just happier and more confident people.

I don't know where I'm going with this, but I've honestly noticed even as a woman it's much easier to seduce a confident, athletic man than a nerd. You'd think the nerd would be more appreciative, but it's actually the jock who isn't so insecure that he thinks the entire town might scorn him if he dates a woman who isn't a size 0. 

We can make these kinds of generalizations, but it still doesn't make sense of those uber-conceited dudes who spend thousands of dollars on their suits and grooming products who may look like walking, talking Ken dolls and are complete fucking MONSTERS as human beings.

Those guys are just as mean, or meaner, than those pretty girls who you mentioned.

And this sort of attractiveness I'm alluding to is mainly focused around image and money, not a genuine biological superiority in looks.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

Nick Carraway said:


> A study has proven that bullies are often people who were bullied themselves.
> 
> On the other hand someone who has been surrounded with so much positivity in their life would not need to bully or do any of that. Now we are saying generally speaking here too, so a good looking person who has been treated like dirt their whole life may display the same thing I was talking about ugly people displaying.


Beautiful people can be bullies.

Do you leave the house much?


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

fourtines said:


> I find that men who are more comfortable around women are also less "picky." I've noticed a strange tendency for a lot of sweaty, overweight men with halitosis, or underweight pale nerds to be the meanest about how they think women should look, which is a bizarre irony. "Oh, only Jessica Biel for me!" says the obese man with greasy hair whose tie is askew. "ALL MEN LIKE VERY SKINNY WOMAN" says the eating-disorder perpetuating dork who always complains about how he can't get a proper date.
> 
> This could be what the OP is talking about, he could be talking about how guys who are ...gosh, they don't even have to be "gorgeous"...they can just be kind of cute and confident or outgoing...tend to have an easier time getting girlfriends, because they like a wide variety of women, and they weirdly seem less inclined to have harsh standards. It's never ceased to amaze me how some of the homeliest men think they deserve a much better looking mate than themselves.
> 
> ...


Wait ...I just figured out what this is...people who consider themselves to be of average attractiveness and who are confident and comfortable with that will be open to other people they consider of average attractiveness who are confident and attractive in other ways...people who consider themselves to be "above average" (even if the only thing giving them this "above average" status is money) are going to be nastier and pickier...and maybe also people who consider themselves below average?

Is it easier for people who are reasonably confident who consider themselves to be average or slightly above average attractiveness to find mates or to date than for people who are OVERLY or UNDER confident, who consider themselves to be well above average or even slightly below average?

Is this just a self-perception of being average attractive and accepting other average attractive people?


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## All in Twilight (Oct 12, 2012)

FindingPurpose said:


> Studies show women find serious men more attractive then smiling men however the opposite applies to men. And women say they're attracted to 'nice guys' but that's not true, they like arrogant cocky dicks like myself. In my experience, I've always attracted girls I didn't like and actually drove away the girls I did like into the 'friend zone' because I used to be really nice to them because I liked them but to be honest I'm a bit of an arrogant cock and generally a bit of a dick and despite what women say they find that attractive.


Yes and no. They love cockiness and playfulness but no one likes a dick unless you 're dating a woman with no self respect. I don't date women with no self respect. But then again, I am not dick, I am just awesome and super sexy. And oh, I'm also a nice guy and I have never been friendzoned


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## Sonny (Oct 14, 2008)

@Nick Carraway

I like to link all of the threads you start together into one epic giant thread in my mind, this one has just made it more awesome. Anecdotal evidence is anecdotal goodness. 

Also, I am clearly too fucken hot!


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## Nowhere Man (Apr 22, 2012)

Society gives them endless perks, so they'd damn well better be nice and kind!


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## MrShatter (Sep 28, 2010)

JGL is my idol.


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## countrygirl90 (Oct 11, 2012)

FindingPurpose said:


> Studies show women find serious men more attractive then smiling men however the opposite applies to men. And women say they're attracted to 'nice guys' but that's not true, they like arrogant cocky dicks like myself. In my experience, I've always attracted girls I didn't like and actually drove away the girls I did like into the 'friend zone' because I used to be really nice to them because I liked them but to be honest I'm a bit of an arrogant cock and generally a bit of a dick and despite what women say they find that attractive.


I specially like teaching arrogant dicks ,lesson on how to be a human being,because I despise their lack of conscience and show off attitude .I don,t think that looks decide whether a person is nice or kind ,I know several people who are also my friend ,are not good looking or even smart in modern sense but they are beautiful,kind and good nature from heart and intelligent from brain.Looks and beauty are superficial factors ,they cannot be used as parameters to judge whats actually inside the heart of a person ,its true that things of beauty are usually pleasing to eyes ,but not everyone knows that true beauty resides insides the soul of a person .In business and professional world, you have to show off your goodness to get your ways ,beautiful or not beautiful it doesn,t matter .Real deal is how much accepting a person is about himself/herself ,how much confident ,humorous ,intelligent and easy going is he/she in their day to day life .People who know that they are not perfect similarly as others ,who are forgiving and accepting in nature, are generally nicer and kinder in my opinion .


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## Nick Carraway (Feb 11, 2013)

Haven't had the time to check this thread all week, been that busy with my life but now I am back to it. Fourtines, with your rude, arrogant, condescending tone you do not even have the right to talk about being nice and kind. End of story, I could imagine how bad you are in real life but that isn't even the problem. Problem is you act like I was raised in the riches, before you let crap leave your mind and put it up for others to read on the keyboard maybe you should do a little research on the person you are saying that to. I have volunteered in poor areas and have friends that have lived in complete ghettos, not to mention I was born in a 3rd world country, didn't know that did you princess? 

*Reality is you cannot form a coherent argument or debate so you attack the person stating something you disagree with. We know you aren't lasting long in a civilized society.*


Don't preach to me about not knowing what shoes someone comes from and being sheltered in my view. The kid I was talking about came from a decent family and went to a good high school. 

And what part of GENERALLY SPEAKING can you people not understand? 

*See here is the problem, a guy like me starts a thread getting relevant discussion going and someone comes along with their personal grudge on the topic and attacks the OP rather than debating like a civilized person who has a brain.*

Ya beautiful people can be bullies.
Yes, rich people can commit bank robberies.
Yes, obese people can run 5 miles.

Get the pattern?

Learn the meaning of generally speaking, and get an education before you even bother to debate with someone.


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## Nick Carraway (Feb 11, 2013)

And yes, some morons will come into this thread and attack me when she was clearly the first and ONLY person on this thread to take personal shots at someone. Get a brain and some people skills, you obviously don't get out much yourself.


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## scorpion (Dec 8, 2012)

It's cause they've had an easier life. often, they've seen kindness and it shows on their faces. one could even extend this to intelligence as the why.


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