# In doubt: INFP 4w3?



## Cel (Apr 2, 2011)

I have lurked these forums for quite a while, reading about the different personality types, but I can't seem to come to a conclusion as to what I am. I believe I am an INFP (possibly ISFP) 4w3sxso, but I keep doubting my own judgement and would like some second opinions.

I often challenge myself to learning things (sometimes that others think I can't do) or set very high goals for myself
I sometimes go out of my way to help people (though I don't think they realize it)
I am often obsessed with various TV-shows or actors or whatnot
I am very competitive
I am easily hurt, and will dwell upon these feelings and analyse them
I am unable to let go of hurtful feelings - I will bring them up again as soon as something similar happens
I act introvert around extroverts and extrovert around introverts or close friends
I am often called weird
I want my friends to text me or chat with me on Skype but I am annoyed when they do
I am a perfectionist but not detail-oriented
I will research or nurture my newest interest for hours at end
I flee from responsibilities yet I feel bored without them
I hate it when someone overestimates their own ability and becomes arrogant
I believe that everyone are good at their core; I dislike the black and white-view. I can't bring myself to think that anyone are behaving badly for its own sake.
I can't stand it when my friends laugh at someone behind their back, just as much as I don't want to be laughed at myself
I will only act according to the normal social rules among people I don't know well and authorities - otherwise I follow my own set of rules that I have noticed to be a bit unique
I believe in action rather than words
I am very lazy, but hard-working once I get started
I never miss a deadline set by an authority; I often miss deadlines set by myself or friends
Most of my ideas just stay in my head
I seek out strong feelings - usually love or sadness
I see everything that could go wrong
I will express strong negative feelings by jokingly complaining about whatever caused them
I feel better having one very close friend than lots of "shallow" friends
I am practical
I love to analyse behaviours
While I had no problem spending 3 weeks constantly in the company of my best friend, I will tire of hanging out in my group of friends within a few hours
I usually say something general, then give an example to clarify
I am very empathetic
I prefer to learn by trial and error, unless it's at work or something similar
I want to know the reasons
I often buy, bring or do things "just in case"
I can quite easily grasp general concepts
I have a horribly detail memory
I like to plan what I want to do, but I don't have to follow my plans
I am very bad at everyday life maintenance, but I am almost obsessive-compulsive with my computer keyboard being clean (my friends seem to find this funny)
I often catch myself buying stuff just because I want them, without really planning to do anything with them (mostly books)
I keep things even if they are of no use to me. I am very careful with all of my possessions - I don't really like the thought of breaking them through excessive use.

I fear..:
Realizing who I thought was my friend actually doesn't like me at all
Not living up to expectations
Never being anyone's first choice of company
Overestimating my own abilities
To be misunderstood
Being laughed at

I want..:
To be seen as kind and deep/hard to understand
To be understood
To impress with skills and niceness
To be seen as humble
To be truly helpful to the emotional well-being of friends
To be able to, without fear, be myself with one person
To be seen as authentic
To be accepting
To be interesting
To do things well

I need..:
Reassurance that I'm liked
To have time for myself
Something to obsess over
To have someone who is very close to me

My friends have called me: 
Kind
Selfish
Cute
Weird
Good at everything
Annoying
Smart
Quiet

I hope I didn't write too much >_o


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## erasinglines (Sep 1, 2010)

Nah, it's not too much. I'm a slow reader, but more information is good for me. Especially since it helps give me a clearer picture.  I'm probably more than capable of being completely and horribly wrong about these sorts of things, but I'll take a shot in the dark and see what I can do.

The first preference I get a strong feeling about is introversion. You seem to consistently value a close-nit group of friends, and when those friends might choose others to hang out with maybe it gives a chance to question the closeness of your relationship. (Probably, it's okay though.)

I.... almost get the feeling that perhaps you have tendencies towards judging preferences? It seems that you have a scale of deadline seriousness. And I can understand that, because I'm very much the same way. I don't turn in things late, but I'm often running behind my own schedule.

I almost want to say that there's some Fe in there too, suggesting INFJ, but that doesn't.... I don't know if that seems like a right fit. Or maybe it does. I dunno.

When you give examples after following general statements, what sort of examples are they? My examples tend to be very ambiguous, whereas my sister's examples are very detailed and usually illustrate a specific instance.


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## Paradigm (Feb 16, 2010)

I'm thinking you might be an ISFP, as there looks to be Fi and Ni in there. 

Why do you think of yourself as 4w3? And why sx/so?


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## Cel (Apr 2, 2011)

I would give an example of something that's actually happened, I think. That way, I would make sure I wouldn't give "my view" of how I am but rather just an action and let someone else see it from their point of view. And you're very right about the friend thing xD

Well, I really relate to the 4 personality descriptions I've read, and the 4w5 seems to be a bit less energetic than I am. Also, the contradicting side of 4w3 I can really relate to, though I think my wing would be really weak in that case. I might have misread some of the information though. The 4sx/so was the description I related to most. Otherwise I would have said sp as first, but I read that they are often risk takers and that is the complete opposite of me. 

Having read a bit more about the types I'm thinking type 6? 

Thank you very much for your help!


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## Paradigm (Feb 16, 2010)

Cel said:


> Well, I really relate to the 4 personality descriptions I've read, and the 4w5 seems to be a bit less energetic than I am. Also, the contradicting side of 4w3 I can really relate to, though I think my wing would be really weak in that case. I might have misread some of the information though. The 4sx/so was the description I related to most. Otherwise I would have said sp as first, but I read that they are often risk takers and that is the complete opposite of me.
> 
> Having read a bit more about the types I'm thinking type 6?
> 
> Thank you very much for your help!


I'll let others handle the MBTI. To be honest, I'm not confident enough in that theory to give more than a guess. :crazy:

As for the Enneagram... You seem more 3 or 6 to me, yes. I would say you're a self-pres 6. You mentioned relating to the contradictions of 4w3; Sixes are nothing but contradictions! You're hardworking, prone to preventing worst-case scenarios, obsessive, authority-oriented. The contradictions Sixes are known for mean they can also be the complete opposite of their traditional traits at times.

A lot of people relate to E4, superficially. E4 is the embodiment of Fi, as well, making it even more likely for FPs to misidentify. It's actually really hard to be a Four. They feel different from the people around them, but on a fundamental level. They feel ostracized, even if they aren't truly.


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## erasinglines (Sep 1, 2010)

I have a really good friend who feels quite similarly to you about friends, I think. So being on the other side of it, I can tell you that even if I hang out with other people sometimes, I consider my close friends as every-weather-true-blue friends.

As far as the examples, I was thinking that maybe it would be a good way to tell the difference between S and N? I'm not sure though. I tend to illustrate my general ideas with figurative examples, even if they're based off of actual experiences. I can dress it up and say that I want to make it illustrate the patterns that I see, but sometimes it's as simple as I couldn't think of actual examples. XD My sister (ISTP), on the other hand, tends to use examples of things that actually happened. She's always poking holes in my examples, and it's kind of awesome and hilarious. So I'm not sure if that would actually work with S/N though, and perhaps then you might be an ISFP?

And yeah... I was probably wrong about Fe and judging? I'm not very good at categories myself, so a lot of it is often guesswork which can sometimes be sketchy.

But both type 4 and type 6 are awesome. I'm not too knowledgeable about Enneagram, though. I just have general impressions. In reading over your first post again, I think I can understand where type 6 might fit too. :3


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

You seem to be a J, not a P first of all. Also, you seem to use Ni with Fe. I'm saying that you are an INFJ. In terms of enneagram, you seem to be an enneagram 6. I am also a 6 and can relate to a lot of the statements that you just made. You also seem to have a strong 3 image fixture. You are probably a 6 w/ 7 head type, 3 w/ 2 heart type, and I have no idea what gut type you are, but most likely 1 w/ 9. That is my theory.


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## caramel_choctop (Sep 20, 2010)

Definitely introverted. I'm not sure of much else though.

I agree with everyone else re the Enneagram. I don't get 4ish vibes from you, and 4s are often quite distinctive. I'm inclined to think you're a 6 as well.


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## Cel (Apr 2, 2011)

Paradigm said:


> As for the Enneagram... You seem more 3 or 6 to me, yes. I would say you're a self-pres 6. You mentioned relating to the contradictions of 4w3; Sixes are nothing but contradictions! You're hardworking, prone to preventing worst-case scenarios, obsessive, authority-oriented. The contradictions Sixes are known for mean they can also be the complete opposite of their traditional traits at times.
> 
> A lot of people relate to E4, superficially. E4 is the embodiment of Fi, as well, making it even more likely for FPs to misidentify. It's actually really hard to be a Four. They feel different from the people around them, but on a fundamental level. They feel ostracized, even if they aren't truly.


Now I'm pretty sure I'm a 6  Though in that case, the authority-seeking thing is completely unconcious.

As for how 4s feel different from the people around them, I can relate to that as well - but mostly when I'm not balanced, and maybe not as much as a 4 would, but more in a low confidence-way.



erasinglines said:


> I have a really good friend who feels quite similarly to you about friends, I think. So being on the other side of it, I can tell you that even if I hang out with other people sometimes, I consider my close friends as every-weather-true-blue friends.
> 
> As far as the examples, I was thinking that maybe it would be a good way to tell the difference between S and N? I'm not sure though. I tend to illustrate my general ideas with figurative examples, even if they're based off of actual experiences. I can dress it up and say that I want to make it illustrate the patterns that I see, but sometimes it's as simple as I couldn't think of actual examples. XD My sister (ISTP), on the other hand, tends to use examples of things that actually happened. She's always poking holes in my examples, and it's kind of awesome and hilarious. So I'm not sure if that would actually work with S/N though, and perhaps then you might be an ISFP?


I'll keep that in mind next time I feel insecure about my friends  Thank you!

Hmm yes, I was thinking that as well. When I look at the S/N descriptions, I can't seem to decide which one I am, but it's leaning towards S, but if I read the ISFP/INFP descriptions I mostly relate to the INFP. Or maybe I just rather want to be INFP than ISFP xD



The Great One said:


> You seem to be a J, not a P first of all. Also, you seem to use Ni with Fe. I'm saying that you are an INFJ. In terms of enneagram, you seem to be an enneagram 6. I am also a 6 and can relate to a lot of the statements that you just made. You also seem to have a strong 3 image fixture. You are probably a 6 w/ 7 head type, 3 w/ 2 heart type, and I have no idea what gut type you are, but most likely 1 w/ 9. That is my theory.


I kind of... don't want to be a 3 xD (Mostly because I so much dislike pretentiousness in everyone else) Though I definitely recognize the 3ish competetiveness, and wanting to achieve recognition, in myself. There is, however, much in the 3 description that I don't relate to as my "normal" self. Being efficient, controlling emotions and putting on a facade, being outgoing and positive, having high energy... That only happens when I'm in an extremely good mood. I might very well be the person I know least in control of their emotions xD Though maybe, that's because I'm primarily a 6?

If I'm a J, I must be a very lazy J. I think I'm pretty balanced on the J/P, actually. I noticed I didn't put a lot of J/P indicators in the original text, so here are some more (I think xD):
I always start school assignments the night before they're due, but get them done (this might have to do with some kind of over-confidence in my abilities, though). I don't easily get stressed by time preassure. I never use routines in daily life - I usually do things whenever I feel like it.
I am never late for appointments with friends - actually I'm often a few minutes early as to make sure they don't have to wait for me. I rarely multitask, and I don't think I need a lot of variety.

Though I suppose, in the end, it's mostly about function preference?

Thank you for your input - I don't mean to tell you that you're wrong, just give you some more information to base your guesses on 



caramel_choctop said:


> Definitely introverted. I'm not sure of much else though.
> 
> I agree with everyone else re the Enneagram. I don't get 4ish vibes from you, and 4s are often quite distinctive. I'm inclined to think you're a 6 as well.


You're pretty much in the same position as me, then xD 

Yeah, you're probably right. Thanks for the input


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## Nomenclature (Aug 9, 2009)

I'm a 3w4 SX, INTP by preference, ISTP by function. Nice to meet you.



Cel said:


> I am very bad at everyday life maintenance, but I am almost obsessive-compulsive with my computer keyboard being clean (my friends seem to find this funny)


Lmfao, SP last, much?



> I often catch myself buying stuff just because I want them, without really planning to do anything with them (mostly books)
> I keep things even if they are of no use to me. I am very careful with all of my possessions - I don't really like the thought of breaking them through excessive use.


Scratch that...

Fears:
Realizing who I thought was my friend actually doesn't like me at all *Why?* *Fear of being disliked? Abandoned? Betrayed?*
Not living up to expectations *Could be 1, 3, or 4. Most likely 3.* 
Never being anyone's first choice of company *3 or 2-ish.*
Overestimating my own abilities *The 3's shame side*
Being laughed at *Related to 3, 4, 6, 9, social stacking*[/QUOTE]I want..:
To be truly helpful to the emotional well-being of friends *9, 2*
To be able to, without fear, be myself with one person *SX stacking*
To be accepting *9*
To do things well *1, 3, 5*

I need..:
Reassurance that I'm liked *SX or SO stacking, depending on context*
Something to obsess over *SX*
To have someone who is very close to me *SX*

My friends have called me: 
Good at everything *3! 3! 3! 3! 3! *

Sounds like SX/SP to me, and you don't sound 4-ish much at all. Just because the enneagram writers make 3's out to be arrogant snobs doesn't mean that they're one-dimensional.


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## caramel_choctop (Sep 20, 2010)

Cel said:


> Hmm yes, I was thinking that as well. When I look at the S/N descriptions, I can't seem to decide which one I am, but it's leaning towards S, but if I read the ISFP/INFP descriptions I mostly relate to the INFP. Or maybe I just rather want to be INFP than ISFP xD


Hey, ISFPs are awesome! 
Do you use Se or Ne more? If you use both, which comes more naturally to you?

http://personalitycafe.com/infp-forum-idealists/57790-what-makes-you-different-isfp.html

Also, if you're a Sensor, you should be able to make your mind go blank quite easily, without having to actually concentrate too much.
An INFP would have trouble with that because of all that Ne jumping about in their head.


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## Nomenclature (Aug 9, 2009)

caramel_choctop said:


> Also, if you're a Sensor, you should be able to make your mind go blank quite easily, without having to actually concentrate too much. An INFP would have trouble with that because of all that Ne jumping about in their head.


Disagreed. Ne as a second function still has an "off" switch.

A certain someone whose name shall not be mentioned wrote a series of articles on functional breakdowns for each type (I'll PM you if you want). Yeah, they're biased, but you should definitely read over them to the functions into the big picture. I ended up settling with ISTP partially because of the articles.


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## caramel_choctop (Sep 20, 2010)

Nomenclature said:


> Disagreed. Ne as a second function still has an "off" switch.
> 
> A certain someone whose name shall not be mentioned wrote a series of articles on functional breakdowns for each type (I'll PM you if you want). Yeah, they're biased, but you should definitely read over them to the functions into the big picture. I ended up settling with ISTP partially because of the articles.


Interesting. I didn't think of that, but then I don't know much about Ne.

PM would be great.  Thanks!


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## Cel (Apr 2, 2011)

Nomenclature said:


> I'm a 3w4 SX, INTP by preference, ISTP by function. Nice to meet you.
> 
> 
> Lmfao, SP last, much?
> ...


Nice to meet you too!

Hmm, I'm not sure, but I would find that devastating. I suppose it's a mixture of feeling abandoned and ashamed because I misread their signals. I can handle being disliked, but only by those I don't like.



caramel_choctop said:


> Hey, ISFPs are awesome!
> Do you use Se or Ne more? If you use both, which comes more naturally to you?
> 
> Also, if you're a Sensor, you should be able to make your mind go blank quite easily, without having to actually concentrate too much.
> An INFP would have trouble with that because of all that Ne jumping about in their head.


Yes they are! I'm not sure why I don't want to be one xD

Hmm, probably Ne. And I definetely can't make my mind go blank. So that means INFP?


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## caramel_choctop (Sep 20, 2010)

Cel said:


> Yes they are! I'm not sure why I don't want to be one xD
> 
> Hmm, probably Ne. And I definetely can't make my mind go blank. So that means INFP?


Muahaha, join usss. XD
Those two things combined probably mean INFP, yes. If you're quite sure on the Fi part, that is.

Nomenclature just sent me two excellent articles on ISFP and INFP. Reading the ISFP description told me I was ISFP for sure. Would you like me to PM them? I can't link them here because PerC doesn't allow them.


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## Cel (Apr 2, 2011)

caramel_choctop said:


> Muahaha, join usss. XD
> Those two things combined probably mean INFP, yes. If you're quite sure on the Fi part, that is.
> 
> Nomenclature just sent me two excellent articles on ISFP and INFP. Reading the ISFP description told me I was ISFP for sure. Would you like me to PM them? I can't link them here because PerC doesn't allow them.


 No, I'm not too sure on the Fi, actually xD I'm not too knowledgeable about the functions at all, though, so I might be more sure when I've read a bit more.
Yes please!


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## erasinglines (Sep 1, 2010)

Cel said:


> I'll keep that in mind next time I feel insecure about my friends  Thank you!


You're welcome~! :3



> Hmm yes, I was thinking that as well. When I look at the S/N descriptions, I can't seem to decide which one I am, but it's leaning towards S, but if I read the ISFP/INFP descriptions I mostly relate to the INFP. Or maybe I just rather want to be INFP than ISFP xD


It's entirely possible. When I first read ENFJ descriptions, I kind of accidentally skipped over the important parts. So when I was recently trying to figure out my type, it took @caramel_choctop and a few others to point out the important parts I hadn't read. I may have to have a look at both INFP and ISFP profiles when I have a bit more time.



> If I'm a J, I must be a very lazy J. I think I'm pretty balanced on the J/P, actually. I noticed I didn't put a lot of J/P indicators in the original text, so here are some more (I think xD):
> I always start school assignments the night before they're due, but get them done (this might have to do with some kind of over-confidence in my abilities, though). I don't easily get stressed by time preassure. I never use routines in daily life - I usually do things whenever I feel like it.
> I am never late for appointments with friends - actually I'm often a few minutes early as to make sure they don't have to wait for me. I rarely multitask, and I don't think I need a lot of variety.


I have a pretty low J preference myself. I tend to not use routines very much either. I'm terrible at multitasking myself, and I don't like to since the quality of my work usually goes down a lot. And being late or not for appointments is actually not usually a good indicator, since you have to look at _why_ the person is early or late or on time - what they were thinking and feeling. I'd say the best indicator is not feeling stressed by time pressure. It sounds very much a P preference sort of thing, though I could be wrong on that too. XD

But in looking over a few things again and examining it more on a cognitive function scale, Fi is probably the primary function. So it's again IxFP. Which means that the main difference is Se or Ne, as some have said.


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## Cel (Apr 2, 2011)

erasinglines said:


> It's entirely possible. When I first read ENFJ descriptions, I kind of accidentally skipped over the important parts. So when I was recently trying to figure out my type, it took @caramel_choctop and a few others to point out the important parts I hadn't read. I may have to have a look at both INFP and ISFP profiles when I have a bit more time.
> 
> I have a pretty low J preference myself. I tend to not use routines very much either. I'm terrible at multitasking myself, and I don't like to since the quality of my work usually goes down a lot. And being late or not for appointments is actually not usually a good indicator, since you have to look at _why_ the person is early or late or on time - what they were thinking and feeling. I'd say the best indicator is not feeling stressed by time pressure. It sounds very much a P preference sort of thing, though I could be wrong on that too. XD
> 
> But in looking over a few things again and examining it more on a cognitive function scale, Fi is probably the primary function. So it's again IxFP. Which means that the main difference is Se or Ne, as some have said.


 Typing is pretty hard.. xD I find it hard to figure out just how J a J would act, if you know what I mean. But I suppose I'm a well-planned P then? 

While I think I use both, Ne would be my preference. At least I can think of examples of me using Ne faster than I can think of me using Se. But maybe that's not a very good indicator? xD


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## Cel (Apr 2, 2011)

caramel_choctop said:


> Muahaha, join usss. XD
> Those two things combined probably mean INFP, yes. If you're quite sure on the Fi part, that is.
> 
> Nomenclature just sent me two excellent articles on ISFP and INFP. Reading the ISFP description told me I was ISFP for sure. Would you like me to PM them? I can't link them here because PerC doesn't allow them.


 I couldn't answer the PM because I have too few posts so I'll just answer here instead. Thanks for sending me the links!

Having read them, I found that the Ni/Si descriptions most gave away whether I am ISFP or INFP. I'm pretty sure I'm INFP now. Though, I'm pretty tired at the moment, so I'll read through the entire descriptions again tomorrow in case I missed something.


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

*I kind of... don't want to be a 3 xD (Mostly because I so much dislike pretentiousness in everyone else) Though I definitely recognize the 3ish competetiveness, and wanting to achieve recognition, in myself. There is, however, much in the 3 description that I don't relate to as my "normal" self. Being efficient, controlling emotions and putting on a facade, being outgoing and positive, having high energy... That only happens when I'm in an extremely good mood. I might very well be the person I know least in control of their emotions xD Though maybe, that's because I'm primarily a 6?*

*If I'm a J, I must be a very lazy J. I think I'm pretty balanced on the J/P, actually. I noticed I didn't put a lot of J/P indicators in the original text, so here are some more (I think xD):*
*I always start school assignments the night before they're due, but get them done (this might have to do with some kind of over-confidence in my abilities, though). I don't easily get stressed by time preassure. I never use routines in daily life - I usually do things whenever I feel like it.*
*I am never late for appointments with friends - actually I'm often a few minutes early as to make sure they don't have to wait for me. I rarely multitask, and I don't think I need a lot of variety.*

*Though I suppose, in the end, it's mostly about function preference?*

*Thank you for your input - I don't mean to tell you that you're wrong, just give you some more information to base your guesses on *

Well, your J and P seem to be pretty balanced. The main reason I thought that you were a J is because you said this.....

_*Most of my ideas just stay in my head
*_
This is an Ni trait, and would make you a J. If you were indeed a INFP, then you would have Ne as your auxiliary function. In that case your mind would be bouncing all over the place. You would have a very hard time focusing on one thing. 

You seem to be a 6 as your core type, and seem to be a 3 heart type. Don't worry about this however, because I myself can relate a lot. I am an ENFP 6 w/ 7 9 w/ 8 3 w/ 2. So I see a lot of myself in you.


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