# ENTJ - ENFP Relationship - Help! Should I confess my Feelings?



## suncherries (Jul 3, 2015)

Hi  
I am brand spanking new to this community, and joined in hopes of some advice with a budding relationship. I am a female ENFP (who identifies strongly with not only the ENFP personality but with MBTI in general) and I have started dating a male ENTJ. I will give a bit of background to my story, hopefully without writing too much and going into unimportant "feeling" details. 

I am visiting another country and have been here for 2 months. During my stay here I began dating this ENTJ male. It seemed as though we both knew that our dating was to be kept casual (although never outwardly spoken) because I would be leaving after two months and we would have to part ways. 

After dating for one month I left on a trip to another state and actually decided to return back to the state where the ENTJ male resided because I really wanted to see him again. Upon my arrival we got together and one night after having sex I found my emotions uncontrollable and began to tear up (I was overcome with loving feelings). I tried to leave the room and pull myself together because I knew that we both wanted to keep things casual - unfortunately for me it was impossible not to wear my heart on my sleeve and he knew something was up. He encouraged me to tell him how I was feeling and so I did. I explained that even though my intentions were to stay casual, that I couldn't help but realize that strong feelings for him were slowly creeping up on me and that I was starting to care for him. And that even though I knew it was impossible for us to have a relationship because of the long distance (10hr car drive/ 2hr expensive plane ride) I couldn't help feeling sad because I knew we had little time left together and I was really starting to like him.

To my surprise (my ex was INFP and very expressive with his feelings) he reacted extremely collected and rational and said that he found my feelings very "sweet" and that he does like me, however he knew all along that it was not possible for us to really have a future. Although I also kept this in mind during our time spent together, I still felt conflicted because rationally understanding something to me doest mean that I don't have feelings and won't be sad that I have to leave someone who I am starting to really care for.

Anyway, the next day he called me and apologized and explained that he does like me a lot and that this "lack of emotion" has been a problem for him in past relationships, and although he may not have expressed it well enough, that he wanted to reassure me that he really does like me, and that I helped him to realize some feelings that he was repressing or in denial of.

It turns out that we also are both extremely on guard of our hearts because we both previously got out of long term relationships that ended due to being cheated on by our partners.

Taking into consideration the long distance between us and the fact that we are both experiencing some trust/intimacy issues from our previously cheating partners, not to mention our huge difference in Ne and Te (that is becoming evidently clear) I still feel like I am falling for him. 

Now my question is: since continuing to talk/date would be extremely irrational, do you think there is even a purpose in telling him that I am falling for him? I mean, I already told him that I have real feelings for him - so he knows that much and seemed to have reciprocated it in his own "ENTJ type of way". I would be willing to tell him if his reaction was to profess the same feelings and perhaps want to continue dating/having some sort of relationship. However if he is going to react unemotionally and say that it doesn't make sense to continue things then I don't see the point in baring my soul. My intuition is screaming that he is feeling the same way... But he is so sensible! If he were to react unemotionally at first but then come around (like how he called the next day before) it might be okay.

What should I do?!


----------



## stiletto (Oct 26, 2013)

You already told him you had feelings for him. Keep the "falling for him" part to yourself for a bit until you both can figure out what to do from here.


----------



## Pifanjr (Aug 19, 2014)

Since he already knows you have feelings for him and he admitted to liking you too, I'd suggest talking to him about how viable it is to make a relationship work. Would you both be interested in a long distance relationship, how long would it be before either of you could potentially move to be closer to the other person, etc.


----------



## Kingdom Crusader (Jan 4, 2012)

I don't see the harm in taking a leap like this. Life is short and I'm assuming you don't want to have regrets later on, asking yourself, "what if I had..."


----------



## QuiteCharmed (Oct 10, 2014)

"Why don't you just suck it up and get an ENTP. They're better" ~ @Magic Micah 
;P


----------



## zandelle (Jul 11, 2015)

I'm INTP, and for what it is worth, if anything, I would appreciate someone telling me plainly and directly how they feel. Trying to figure that out is maddening !



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

Pifanjr said:


> I'd suggest talking to him about how viable it is to make a relationship work. Would you both be interested in a long distance relationship, how long would it be before either of you could potentially move to be closer to the other person, etc.


Ditto this. At this point it's sort of all or nothing - why not give it a real chance before you leave?


----------



## Summer Nights (Jun 19, 2015)

stiletto said:


> You already told him you had feelings for him. Keep the "falling for him" part to yourself for a bit until you both can figure out what to do from here.


I say - listen to the ENTJ, they know what they're saying...

Although, what I'd like add to that is - I think you should actually try to _figure out what to do from here_, as in, see if he has thought about making this a long-term relationship, if it's at least crossed his mind and what are his views on it, does he think it possible... Like Pifanjr and angelfish said, you've already told him what you feel like, and he says he likes you too - I think it's worth a shot.


----------

