# Sp/So vs Sp/Sx



## Arthrospira (Feb 18, 2020)

So I identify as an sp/so but a user has brought it to my attention that my posts don’t sound sx-blind at all. But I’m not certain as how I act online is much more different than how I act in real life. I’m definitely a sp-dom though, there are no questions regarding that.

Can someone compare the two in a non-stereotypical fashion? All the sx descriptions are basically “likes one-on-one interaction”. I mean no shit I like it, I’m an introvert.

https://www.enneagrammer.com/instinct-stacking

This link is also a huge reason why I identify that way as I have virtually no idea what any of that sx stuff means.


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## Karkino (May 25, 2017)

Arthrospira said:


> So I identify as an sp/so but a user has brought it to my attention that my posts don’t sound sx-blind at all. But I’m not certain as how I act online is much more different than how I act in real life. I’m definitely a sp-dom though, there are no questions regarding that.
> 
> Can someone compare the two in a non-stereotypical fashion? All the sx descriptions are basically “likes one-on-one interaction”. I mean no shit I like it, I’m an introvert.
> 
> ...


The blind part of the last instinct ist really a misnomer. It isn't that we cannot see it, but rather that we are immature about its component. We don't want to deal with it and we prefer focus our attention to the other 2 dominant instincts in our stacking.

Sexual instinct last doesn't mean that an individual don't want to seek intimacy and connection to some extent, but they seek it far less intensively than if it were in a dominant position. They are far less likely to be worried about their personal attractiveness and choosey about with whom they want to open their heart to. I've also noticed that people with the sexual instinct last are less consumed by a subject than others of maybe they don't have any particular passion in their life. There is a level of ''sacredness'' in sexual intercourse and intimacy in general with sexual doms that sexual last doesn't have.

Social instinct last is immature in the way they react and focus about social faux pas, hierarchy and group identity. They don't care as much as social doms if they don't act accordingly in a certain social setting and don't think much about their social image. Their overall level of tolerance for the way they and others act in society is much higher and less threatening. For social doms, their social position in life is very important and even if they don't appear ambitious, they seek recognition and social approval (even if they deny it ). Finally, social doms are a bit more rigid about how someone should conduct onself in society, depending on the setting.

I would also add that each enneagram number colors the instinct stacking immensely and that you can't isolate instinct and enneatype. They really create a new way of looking at the enneagram.

For example a social ONE is concerned about maintaining and cultivating the right image and set the example for others. They often have this teacher archetype ingrained in them. Getting out of character and letting out anger is very disturbing for them. This is also a cooler and more intellectual ONE regardless of tritype.

self-preservation ONE is more about making sure their environment is right and proper. This is a warmer ONE but also the true perfectionist. They manifest anxiety the most out of the three types of ONE and can look a bit like a 6 (sp6 and sp1 are REALLY easy to mistake as one another). What upsets the sp ONE the most is getting their financial and material security at risk.

sexual ONE is the countertype of the enneatype. They don't look as controlled and emotionally guarded as the other two ONEs. They express their anger more easily and are overall more emotional. They can be hard on their partner since they unleash their anger and neuroticism against any percieved imperfection their loved one have that they deem unacceptable. They can look like 8s.


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## Arthrospira (Feb 18, 2020)

@Karkino

I’m definitely certain that I’m a sp-dom 1. But regarding the others, I can still somewhat relate to both of the things you wrote.

Argument for sp/so: I care greatly about not looking like as if I’m immoral, braggart, attention seeking, weak, unsuccessful, loose, dumb or needy. I don’t really spend time on my appearance despite feeling unattractive. I don’t get passionate about people and can quickly break a relationship off if it is no longer satisfying to me. I dislike it when someone goes against the norm just to look speacial and draw attention. I get extremely furious and get into fights when people try to steal the labors of my work when I deserve the recognition. People think I don’t have emotions and I look cold&angry unless I’m talking to close friends. I’m terribly unflirty and had people think that I’m asexual.

Argument for sp/sx: I don’t really care about what people will think when I express my thoughts or skip a wedding/social meeting/picnic/some custom etc. I’m quick to anger and not afraid to show it be with my facial expressions or words, in fact I can’t hide it even if I want to. I can be hard on people close to me and can get tactless with them if I’m annoyed (as in telling them to shut up, stop visiting me or chewing loudly), but at the same time I’m extremely protective and can be a bit of a people-pleaser to them. I always protect my or the surrounding peoples’ rights by getting into fights. Sometimes people who don’t know me well think that I’m angry at them when I’m not. I’m bad at understanding social customs and don’t really care for them. A forum user thought that I’m this type because I’m good at making sexual jokes.


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## Full_fathom_4 (Jan 23, 2018)

from the ocean-moonshine site:

_Self-pres/Social

Enneatype One’s basic fear is of not being perfect, therefore, not being good enough. This manifests in the self-pres variant as the need to “fix” the environment.

This type is the most steady, organized, and practical. They prioritize time well, pride themselves on, for instance, finding the bargain, buying quality, putting forth their best effort. Perfection comes from dotting all the i’s. They tend to watch their health and to not overindulge. When healthy, their example of efficiency is inspiring. The pride they take in their work is commendable.

On the down side, they can become obsessive-compulsive. They can lose the forest for the trees in attempting to make their homes and environments perfect. They can also be very hard on themselves. The energy of this type is the most consistent. *When their ideal falls short, frustration usually turns inward. Anger is repressed, especially with the Nine wing.*

Self-pres/Sexual

This type is more fiery than the self-pres/social. They still have many of the same concerns of the first type, but there is this secondary energy that wants to throw all their repression out the window. This energy is mainly contained, but it’s there just under the surface. The focus of their perfectionism is on their loved ones. On the down side, they can be very critical of the people close to them. Although normally controlled, *this type is likely to erupt from time to time with those close to them. It’s an explosion of built up repression that has to be released*.

On the high side, this type can relax a little more than the self-pres/social, but* on the down side, they are more volatile*. They do share the inner conflict between their sexual and self-pres instincts with the sexual/self-pres, but the self-pres energy usually wins out. The instinctual energy of the sexual instinct is more apparent than with the self-pres/social. Despite being critical of their mates, they are usually very committed to their relationships. In the mind of the self-pres/sexual One, the judgmental criticality is a sign of commitment and love._

The bolding is mine. Perhaps one way to separate them more distinctly would be to un-focus toward the abstraction - convention vs. sensuality. If by making sexual jokes, that doing so is of good-natured 'guilty pleasure', that you are scratching the itch of desire or playfully dancing in and out of the game of attraction, 'mate shopping' as it were, then perhaps there is the higher sx. Both arguments also share some commonality, namely your orientation toward people, be it positive or irritating which possibly indicates a Soc component working adjacent to the Sp. The repression of anger in sp/soc tends to conflict with your observations though. From the same website that I cited, under the 4 stacks sp/soc is ascribed as being more content with the fantasy of a relationship than actually having them. Extend that line across the circle to 1 and it does sounds more familiar, being 'unflirty' and viewed of as 'asexual'. Anyway, food for thought, hope it helps.


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## Karkino (May 25, 2017)

Arthrospira said:


> @Karkino
> 
> I’m definitely certain that I’m a sp-dom 1. But regarding the others, I can still somewhat relate to both of the things you wrote.
> 
> ...


What further complicates the interpretation about instinctual stacking is twofold :

1. Like tritype, they are 3 ways of having an instinctual stacking :

a) You have a dominant instinct and the other two are really low. So let's make a visual example with numbers going 1, meaning very low influence to 10, meaning very high influence.
If i'm a sp/so/sx with this configuration, it would show like this : sp = 10 ; so = 2 ; sx = 1

b) Your dominant and secondary instinct are very high and the last one is very low : sp = 9 ; so = 8 ; sp =1

c) You have a cascading pattern : sp = 9 ; so = 6 ; sx = 3


Having the A configuration would likely be difficult to ascertain the second and last instinct in the stacking while having the B configuration would have the dominant and secondary instinct fighting for first place. I personally am either a A or C combination so I easily know my first instinct but can be unsure at times about the 2nd and 3rd one.


2. This is what is makes instinct assessment very tough imo : there are 2 polarities or ways to experience each instinct.

a) You either embrace its energy and experience it positively.

b) You face hardships regarding the instinct and it becomes really problematic.

Let me give you an example with the social instinct : a positively expressed social instinct will enjoy social gatherings and observing social traditions (even if 5!). They will still be worried if they make a social faux pas or something similar to this, but they will get over it much more easily than a negatively expressed social instinct, who will be more likely to become anti-social or rejecting social norms. The focus is still on the group, the herd, but the instinct is much more fragile and in a defensive mode.

Likewise, a self-preservation instinct with a positive attitude towards itself will be less concerned about financial security, hoarding, having the proper ressources, etc. and be more willingly available for others and generous of its time and material goods.

The sexual instinct with a positive attitude will embrace its attractiveness and need for intimacy than and negatively expressed one, which will be rejecting intimacy and fearing sexual activities.


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## Arthrospira (Feb 18, 2020)

@Full_fathom_4
Now that made me more confused about what I am. I refrain from being flirtious in real life to protect my reputation as I don’t want to be perceived as “slutty” and grew up in a household that forbade discussions regarding sexuality for religious reasons. I mean I’m unflirty even in video games and RPGs. But here nobody knows who I am and joking about that stuff has zero consequences so I don’t hold it back.
@Karkino
I’m like model A, very high sp but very low so and sx. I always type as sp/sx in tests but disregard that result since the questions are nonsensical. They are mostly “Do you like groups or few people?” etc. If I look at my attitudes:

*So:* I only like social gatherings if those don’t involve many people I’m indifferent to or dislike. If I’m going to attend something with close friends there must be no acquintances (complete strangers are more tolarable) or I refuse to go since I feel like I’m being watched but don’t care about what a complete stranger might think. I’m not accepting or rejecting any social norms for the sake of doing it but I can get very hung up on fighting things like sexism as they put me at a disadvantage.

*Sp:* Definitely have a negative attitude as I care a lot about being financially secure, I even chose my career with that in mind and never splurge.

*Sx:* If I have an attitude then it must be a negative one; I feel unattractive and don’t want to look as if I’m desperate to be with someone. I’m obsessed with being completely self-reliant should that whole relationship business not work out or I get betrayed. So I only let a relationship happen if I’m certain the other person won’t be able to hurt or dominate me. Though I guess this could also tie into having a negative sp attitude.


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## pyrrho (Aug 26, 2021)

Karkino said:


> They are far less likely to be worried about their personal attractiveness and choosey about with whom they want to open their heart to. I've also noticed that people with the sexual instinct last are less consumed by a subject than others of maybe they don't have any particular passion in their life.


There's no way you believe this. This don't even make any sense.


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