# Most Easy & Most Difficult Types to Befriend



## Starflakes (Sep 13, 2009)

A thread in the enneagram 4 section got me thinking about this. In my personal experience so far, 9's have been the easiest to befriend and 4's have actually been the most difficult. Most of my friends are 5's and 9's with one or two 6's and 7's. I've been almost friends with several 2's but they're so elusive.

What about you? Your experiences?


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## Dangerose (Sep 30, 2014)

For me I think 1s, 2s, and 6s are the easiest
7s and 3s the most difficult
The others are kinda a mixed bag, it all depends of course


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

I have a terrible habit of not choosing my friends. I sort of do my own thing and people who like me make an effort to connect with me. I might increase or decrease the amount of time I give them later on after I've spent some time with them, but I rarely ever initiate relationships.

I tend to attract threes and sixes, but I get along with ones and (some) fours as well. Sevens (that I know) are fun but we tend to not be on the same page (they're far more outgoing). Nines are the only ones I consistently don't get along with. I just don't enjoy nines.

But it really comes down to the individual instead of the type.

I tend to enjoy people who are a little more uptight in general. They're fun because I can drag them out of their comfort zones and dirty them up a bit.


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## Starflakes (Sep 13, 2009)

Coburn said:


> I tend to enjoy people who are a little more uptight in general. They're fun because I can drag them out of their comfort zones and dirty them up a bit.


Hahaha. I like this answer.


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## Dyidia (May 28, 2010)

Hmm, I'd have to say for me I tend to make casual friendships mostly easily with 5s and 6s but lasting friendships more with image types (esp 3s). Weirdly, even though I get along and relate most well with 8s and 9s I'm having trouble thinking of a gut-type that I'm still friends with.


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## Schmendricks (Apr 16, 2016)

Coburn said:


> I have a terrible habit of not choosing my friends. I sort of do my own thing and people who like me make an effort to connect with me. I might increase or decrease the amount of time I give them later on after I've spent some time with them, but I rarely ever initiate relationships.
> 
> I tend to attract threes and sixes, but I get along with ones and (some) fours as well. Sevens (that I know) are fun but we tend to not be on the same page (they're far more outgoing). Nines are the only ones I consistently don't get along with. I just don't enjoy nines.
> 
> ...


Ha, seconding @Starflakes re: that answer.

As for me, I personally get along best with 7s and 2s (those being the types of the family members I'm closest to could easily help there) and tend to either gravitate towards or clash with 8s, 1s, and other 3s depending on particulars.


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## Quernus (Dec 8, 2011)

I seem to have difficulty making friends with other image types, although two of my closest friends (if not THE closest) are both image types; 2 and 4 respectively. 

Though, I've made several good friends _online, _who are 4s, including the aforementioned (she is now my roommate). But I'm thinking about initial encounters that are in-person.

I get along famously with 5s, generally. Head types in general are easy for me to get along with, now that I think of it.

1s are either hit or miss, right off the bat. Ha. No pun intended but I'll like it. 

9s are easy to get along with but harder to develop deep or lasting connections with. Too easy to fade out or get distracted and then do nothing about it. Most of the friendships I maintain are because other people initiate contact more often than I do, I'm sad to say. 

I don't think I've ever been close to an 8.


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## mushr00m (May 23, 2011)

1's.
If you aren't a serial violator of most of their standards. Friendship would probably be out of the question if so. 

Immature 5's are just difficult to approach, I don't want to scare them or anything but it seems like I have gone overboard with them so have to be careful with that. But it's a real treat when we share a lengthy discussion. I feel privileged! 

2's.
These people come to you for contact, they put themselves out there for you without the same level of self consciousness than say the 4's. I find they are good at drawing others out their shells. 

6's.
Guards up or scaredy cats. Not often do first interactions become fireworks, a lot of trying to find each others hot buttons, might provoke a little bit to test the waters. Phobic 6's apologise unnecessarily if they think they may have pissed you off. Either way, it can take a long time to truly come into their inner circle. Sometimes years.

4's.
They want deep, genuine connections not as many friends but much deeper in quality as a result, I get validated for being completely genuine, unlike the outer world which condemns me for being so, 4's just like the very act of organic thought being expressed from a place of trueness. I wish they would stop navel gazing quite so much though. 

9's easygoing, you'd think they would all tend to make easy friendships but they aren't necessarily the deepest of friendships. This has been my personal experience. They don't deal well with those who have high expectations of them. 9w8's seem to deal better with reactiveness than the 9w1's.


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## Epic Love (Dec 30, 2016)

I think 2 and 9 are the asiest to be friend and the hardest ones are probably 4 and 8.


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## Starflakes (Sep 13, 2009)

mushr00m said:


> 1's.
> If you aren't a serial violator of most of their standards. Friendship would probably be out of the question if so.
> 
> Immature 5's are just difficult to approach, I don't want to scare them or anything but it seems like I have gone overboard with them so have to be careful with that. But it's a real treat when we share a lengthy discussion. I feel privileged!
> ...


Are you counter phobic?


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## yogimon (Jan 11, 2017)

I don't make friends easily and usually the friends I do make it takes a long time for me to really trust them. I generally do not initiate conversations but wait for people to come to me. I generally seem to attract 3s, 5s, and 9s...definitely do not get along well with other 4s because neither of us will initiate, haha. I'm sure if one of us did then we probably would but I often feel jealous of other 4s because they are so unique and I want to be the most unique. I know that sounds awful I just know that's the way I think... if I let myself.


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## Stellafera (Jan 19, 2015)

mushr00m said:


> 6's. Guards up or scaredy cats. Not often do first interactions become fireworks, a lot of trying to find each others hot buttons, might provoke a little bit to test the waters.


_Note: Not applicable to Sx-last 6s. May result in Sx-last 6 mistakenly believing you hate them. _

I do sometimes test new people internally ("Hm, they said X. Is that a good or a bad thing on my evaluation of them?") but I would never want to intentionally heat up a casual situation. That kind of intensity is weird and ugly for me. My walls weren't made to be broken.


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## Doll (Sep 6, 2012)

Easiest to befriend for me have always been 6s and 9s. I connect well with 4s and 5s, but 9s have a general easygoing and relaxed nature about them that I find very attractive.


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## mushr00m (May 23, 2011)

Stellafera said:


> _Note: Not applicable to Sx-last 6s. May result in Sx-last 6 mistakenly believing you hate them. _
> 
> I do sometimes test new people internally ("Hm, they said X. Is that a good or a bad thing on my evaluation of them?") but I would never want to intentionally heat up a casual situation. That kind of intensity is weird and ugly for me. My walls weren't made to be broken.


We all have our own ways of understanding the environment I suppose. But people I have witnessed on this were quite provocative. These people were absolutely 6's and it was related to their type. A number of them were sp first. Perhaps when it happened, it seemed more noticeable because they were sp firsts. A conflict between self preservation and cp maybe.


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## Stellafera (Jan 19, 2015)

mushr00m said:


> We all have our own ways of understanding the environment I suppose. But people I have witnessed on this were quite provocative. These people were absolutely 6's and it was related to their type. A number of them were sp first. Perhaps when it happened, it seemed more noticeable because they were sp firsts. A conflict between self preservation and cp maybe.


Yeah, might be a matter of different interpretation of the same situations.


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## Starflakes (Sep 13, 2009)

The Night's Queen said:


> For me I think 1s, 2s, and 6s are the easiest
> 7s and 3s the most difficult
> The others are kinda a mixed bag, it all depends of course


That's actually really interesting because everyone loves 2s! And I know two sets of friends were one is a 2 and the other is a 7. Although, I guess I don't know your reasons for why 3s and 7s are difficult for you to befriend. 

Also, I'm curious about 2-2 friendships. It seems like it would either be amazing or like you would both suck each other into a black whole of helpfulness and implode or something. Heh.


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## not enough (Jan 15, 2016)

I'm not sure, there are some types that don't seem to be common where I live (like type 1, 5 and especially type 8). I like 8s because they are so straightforward. But especially 8 is a type I nearly don't meet in everyday life. 

Most of my friends are 4s and 7s, 9s are easy to befriend and I have a few 2s in my life that are great emotional support.


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## Gilly (Apr 22, 2012)

I don't think there are any types that are uneasy to befriend. There may be types we don't -want- to befriend...
I find enneagram alone is hard to say for "we like each other".

I enjoy 7s and 8s for fun. I get along with 5's, 6's, and 9's. I can love or hate 3's.


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## shalomm (Feb 25, 2014)

7s are friendly but they are fair-weather friends, 9s are always easy to get along with, and 4s and 5s are the ones I can find deep lasting connections with.


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## Gilly (Apr 22, 2012)

shalomm said:


> 7s are friendly but they are fair-weather friends, 9s are always easy to get along with, and 4s and 5s are the ones I can find deep lasting connections with.


I disagree with 7s being fair weather friends. Although they often give off that vibe. 

I think 7s are the kinds of friends that will open a 6-pack and crack jokes while helping you bury the body. 
I always feel like 7s aren't the type that chooses to stay, they're just the kind that never leave. 

You know. If they actually dig you.


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