# Singles... Why Are You Still Single?



## WickedQueen

Just curious.

I hangout with different circle of friends and dating with different male friends every weekend, but I'm still single.

What makes you still single?


.


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## Harley

Because the internet won't allow me.
That and the fact that I am _extremely_ slow to react in relationships.
I'm always stuck in this apathetic/sarcastic/witty/lazy/frivolous mood that makes it hard for people to gauge whether I'm serious or not, so they usually give up on me. 
Nobody has been able to figure out my paradoxical nature yet.
If you can tolerate me for more than a few months I'll give you free brownies, and a place to sleep beside me at night.​


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## knght990

had a smashed heart for awhile and was unavailable, but now im for sale


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## Decon

Because I choose to be. If I got into a relationship with someone right now, it would do more harm than good.


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## So Long So Long

Because nobody wants me. :sad:


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## Kevinaswell

Hmm.

Well.

Everyone is retarded.

I don't see how I have much of a choice.....


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## snail

Nobody wants you, So Long So Long? Awww, that's sad.  *hugs* You're an intellectual elitist, Kevin? As an idealist, I sort of relate to having once been dissatisfied with all of the options, so... that's sad too. *hugs*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WickedQueen

shakalaka said:


> Because the internet won't allow me.
> That and the fact that I am _extremely_ slow to react in relationships.
> I'm always stuck in this apathetic/sarcastic/witty/lazy/frivolous mood that makes it hard for people to gauge whether I'm serious or not, so they usually give up on me.
> Nobody has been able to figure out my paradoxical nature yet.
> If you can tolerate me for more than a few months I'll give you free brownies, and a place to sleep beside me at night.​


So, how can people tell when you're being serious or not? Any input for the guys? You seems like a hot catch.




So Long So Long said:


> Because nobody wants me. :sad:


I know what you mean and how you feel. Seriously.


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## Kevinaswell

snail said:


> Nobody wants you, So Long So Long? Awww, that's sad.  *hugs* You're an intellectual elitist, Kevin? As an idealist, I sort of relate to having once been dissatisfied with all of the options, so... that's sad too. *hugs*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I am far from dissatisfied with all of the options.

Which is a lie, because most options are completely fucking retarded.

I am actually only 100% satisfied with only one of them.

There is a GIANT difference, as you can imagine.


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## So Long So Long

snail said:


> Nobody wants you, So Long So Long? Awww, that's sad.  *hugs* You're an intellectual elitist, Kevin? As an idealist, I sort of relate to having once been dissatisfied with all of the options, so... that's sad too. *hugs*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


-hugs back- 

I don't really care about dating, though. I'd rather be by myself or with my friends. Plus, with all the relationships I've seen... there's always tons of drama and I definitely don't need that. And I've got plenty of time as I'm only fifteen years-old. But thanks snail. roud:

I think I just gave myself a pep talk... :mellow:


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## de l'eau salée

Well, besides the fact that I suck with relationships, I'm still in the closet in real life. Wooo, go me!


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## snail

Oh. So, there's one you want completely that you can't have, Kevinaswell? I can relate to that too, and that's even sadder.


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## Blueguardian

In regards to recent times...
I don't socialize much over all.
I haven't found anyone that has caught my eye in just the right way.
No one has shown interest in me along those lines (to my knowledge).
I refuse to actively look until I can find a job and transfer to which ever four year university that accepts me.
I wasn't ready because of a rough past relationship.


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## So Long So Long

Silhouetree said:


> Well, besides the fact that I suck with relationships, I'm still in the closet in real life. Wooo, go me!


-is in the same boat-


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## de l'eau salée

So Long So Long said:


> -is in the same boat-


Haha, go us .
*sigh* Do you ever feel like just randomly blurting it out?


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## So Long So Long

Silhouetree said:


> Haha, go us .
> *sigh* Do you ever feel like just randomly blurting it out?


Yes, we rock! 
And totally. Especially with my homophobic father. He's always going on and on about how he hates gay people and my gay friends and I just wanna go, "Hey dad, I'm gay!" Course then I'd get kicked out, but that's besides the point. 

I think what would be refreshing would be to go out in some secluded place and just shout it over and over again. Idunno. I guess I'll eventually have to come out in realife... -gulp-


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## snail

You poor, sweet little thing, Sillytree! Being an INFP male makes finding love difficult enough, and being gay must make it even harder, since it narrows down the options and throws all kinds of anxiety into the mix. Instead of just thinking "What if this person doesn't want me?," which is already scary enough to an introverted Feeler, you would also have to worry "What if this person isn't into other males at all, and gets weirded out or insulted by the fact that I am interested?," and "What if this person turns out to be aggressively homophobic and will hurt me, either physically, emotionally, or socially for being interested?" Now that I know this about you, I worry more for your safety and feel even more of an instinctive drive to be nurturing toward you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## de l'eau salée

So Long So Long said:


> Yes, we rock!
> And totally. Especially with my homophobic father. He's always going on and on about how he hates gay people and my gay friends and I just wanna go, "Hey dad, I'm gay!" Course then I'd get kicked out, but that's besides the point.
> 
> I think what would be refreshing would be to go out in some secluded place and just shout it over and over again. Idunno. I guess I'll eventually have to come out in realife... -gulp-


Yeah, I'm most nervous about coming out to my direct family. Although now that I'm not living with them anymore, it'd be _much_ easier to do. Hmmmm....*ponders*
But yeah, it'd be really refreshing, I think. It sure would take a mountain of courage, though. Maybe one day? :tongue:




snail said:


> You poor, sweet little thing, Sillytree! Being an INFP male makes finding love difficult enough, and being gay must make it even harder, since it narrows down the options and throws all kinds of anxiety into the mix. Instead of just thinking "What if this person doesn't want me?," which is already scary enough to an introverted Feeler, you would also have to worry "What if this person isn't into other males at all, and gets weirded out or insulted by the fact that I am interested?," and "What if this person turns out to be aggressively homophobic and will hurt me, either physically, emotionally, or socially for being interested?" Now that I know this about you, I worry more for your safety and feel even more of an instinctive drive to be nurturing toward you.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Haha, yeah, I'm nervous about that kind of thing happening. There is definitely a very small percentage of the population that I'm truly attracted to. But I'm sorta in that sticky sort of situation right now. I have a really good friend who I'm...attracted to, to say the least. He says he's straight, but people suspect he's gay...I hope he is. That'd be very nice...*grows devil horns.* I must find out! Although I don't know how to do so without bringing up the possibility of jeopardizing our friendship. I feel fucked up inside for secretly enjoying the few hugs we've exchanged and hoping for more. I blame my uncontrollable feelings! :tongue: 
*long, drawn-out sigh*
It's okay though, I'm less afraid of who I am and I think I'd have much less of a problem sticking up for myself than before. It's hard for me to have sympathy for assholes.


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## snail

Hugging the one you want is always amazing, isn't it?  I hope it works out for you, Sillytree. So Long So Long, I'm sorry to hear that your father is homophobic. That must make it hard to even think about coming out, and would create a horrible internal conflict between the desire for authenticity and the desire to be accepted. I am trying to imagine what that must be like, and the closest thing I have experienced is nowhere near as serious. I'm almost embarrassed to even compare the two, since your situation is so much more intense. My closest experience is this: my parents are severely anti-drug, so I can't tell them that the reason I don't have nightmares as often as I used to is that I sometimes smoke weed to prevent them. I hear about people with stoner parents and think about how much easier it would be if mine were more relaxed about such things, so I wouldn't have to worry about them catching me with it. My dad actually said once that everyone who has ever done drugs should get the death penalty, but he said it in his usual unemotional, softspoken way. He gets every bit as extreme about his values as I get about mine. He just does it more quietly. In fact, I think I get my enneagram type one qualities from him. I actually went for a walk so I could cry privately when he said that about drug users, though, so I guess your problem would probably feel sort of like if I were to multiply that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jochris

I'm single because I'm involved with another INTP, and two INTP's together take a long time to get anything started.


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## mcgooglian

WickedQueen said:


> Because you're being annoying. :laughing:



Then I've done my job.:tongue:


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## WickedQueen

mcgooglian said:


> Then I've done my job.:tongue:


Case closed then. :happy:


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## pianopraze

Speaking of case closed. Thank you all for your help. Love. And advice. I'm sorry I lost my equilibrium. You all are great. I'm going to take some time. And enjoy being single. Makes some more friends in real life and chill.


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## vanWinchester

WickedQueen said:


> *pinches mcgooglian*


Hrm. I'll just act like I didn't see that now. Even though I dislike when people touch him.



WickedQueen said:


> Seriously?? :shocked:
> No way, she's dating an INTP guy! *gossip mode: on*


Who spreads such stuff? Or better yet: How do people get that idea? INTP =/= I*S*TP



mcgooglian said:


> Seriously. You can ask anyone who followed our profile messages, and trust me, we had followers.:tongue:


You forgot to mention the people who directly asked us if it is true somewhen. Some were quick at noticing. And honestly, I was surprised people even cared. .///.


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## WickedQueen

vanWinchester said:


> Hrm. I'll just act like I didn't see that now. Even though I dislike when people touch him.


*pinches vanWinchester*




> Who spreads such stuff?


I just did that.




> You forgot to mention the people who directly asked us if it is true somewhen. Some were quick at noticing. And honestly, I was surprised people even cared. .///.


Why you guys are quite famous here.


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## Mutatio NOmenis

*Smacks everyone with a sledgehammer.* ALright, now this thread's back on course, resume posting why you can't get any.


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## Spooky

I'm single because I haven't found a woman who I trust enough to have an exclusive relationship with.

I'm sure there are some out there though.


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## Kokos

mortabunt said:


> Shut up, Frenchy.


:sad::sad::sad:


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## Mikbert

Why I'm still single?


I'm an INTJ, do I need to say more?


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## Banquo

All right, all right. The REAL reasons I can't get any...

- short
- ugly
- no personality
- boring
- poor
- no car
- lazy
- neurotic
- "doormat"

Is that what you wanted? Huh??? I feel so inadequate...


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## knght990

I'm in a male dominated industry, and im a guy. Susagefest limits my options. Where i live is also a limiting factor.

And the sledge hammer injury suffered in this thread this morning doesn't help any either.


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## OrangeAppled

-I don't connect easily to people and find myself having little in common with most I meet IRL.
-I am not a flirty, warm, or open woman, so it's easy to scare men off with a seemingly aloof exterior.
-I am shy and have a small network of friends/family, so meeting new people is hard. I should probably get out of the house more....
-I greatly prefer someone who has the same/similar values and morals, and that's hard to find.
-I will only consider someone that I am physically attracted to on some level.
-I often do not like the men who pursue me, and the ones I am attracted to are unavailable for some reason, do not pursue me, and/or intimidate me with their charm/looks/smarts so I won't pursue them.


So I suppose I have pretty high standards... and I'm not exactly beating men off with a stick. :tongue::sad::crazy:


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## docmcelroy

I am still single because I lost my partner and have not met anyone else.


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## PeacePassion

I'm a dating tard.


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## HollyGolightly

Well I don't really consider myself to be single right now but officially I am - and that's because I wanna be 
And all these people who are saying they are single because they are boring, ugly etc....what a load of crap....it's probably because you have a lack of self-respect and self-esteem. That old saying is true - if you don't love yourself nobody will. 
And for the record - nobody is too ugly to be loved.


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## InvisibleJim

Because I'm in a far flung land so my defenses are up. Also I'm an INTJ who works with and regularly meets approximately Zero attractive females a year.


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## Siggy

Commitment. Dont want it. I value my independence.

No husband, No children, No regrets.


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## Perseus

Because the girls I get a chance to meet are more trouble than they are worth, or because of their Guards SJ male friends (very often)! or Hedges (potential Mother-in-Laws) or because it is not really my first choice plan. Getting money comes first.

Or because I do not look at lawfully connected women (most are) or ones that are not clear. 

I do not value my independence, but I do need personal space, not tolerating clingers or Hamsters (ISFJ), Mustang (ESFJ) and I can't get on with Cats (ISFP). I won't put up with abuse (ESTJ) and I get bored Dogs (ISTJ). I am afraid of Spiders (ESFP dark side). 

Tried Bears (ISTP) without success. So it is Introspectives (Aliens) only.


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## Briggs

Being single is a beautiful thing.........


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## Loke

I don't know. I know there are a few girls interested in me, but I think they only want casual sex. The one girl I want doesn't seem interested in relationships at all.

I actually really want a stable relationship, but it just doesn't seem to work out that way for me. I dunno, maybe I'm too flirty.


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## ginz

Unsung said:


> YouTube - Bob Marley - No Woman No Cry
> 
> im too shy, but have also enjoyed being single after being in 2 and half year relationship. but mainly cuz im shy -.- thats the only problem rly. oh wait sry, i dont have a job. ye thats why:happy:
> 
> enjoy life while ur youngroud:


... but im beginning to feel old D;!


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## Reality Soldier

I've only met two girls that I'd want to date. However, one is in a relationship (and has been for almost as long as I've known her) with another guy and I'm kind of friendzoned with the other.


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## ginz

Reality Soldier said:


> I've only met two girls that I'd want to date. However, one is in a relationship (and has been for almost as long as I've known her) with another guy and I'm kind of friendzoned with the other.


time to be the badass type?


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## vt1099ace

because no one wants a gimpy, cynical guy whose dating experiences are what made him cynical and who is still struggling with baggage/ghosts/demons from my past that haunt me to this day....


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## Mutatio NOmenis

vt1099ace said:


> because no one wants a gimpy, cynical guy whose dating experiences are what made him cynical and who is still struggling with baggage/ghosts/demons from my past that haunt me to this day....


 That describes me perfectly.


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## Ninja

Basically I'm too large in the britches.


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## Totally T Rex

Because, I can't get the formula right to bring this chick back from the dead.


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## Selden

LOL, I love when people ask that question. It's like when people ask others "why are you lazy?" I guess I'm single but I'm not taking it as bad as I used to (not like I'm older than 22). Whatever, I'm just taking it easy right now. Still, I wish I had a sister (have none) my age who could hook me up with one of her friends. My best friend has a sister around his age and she always introduces him to nice girls. Lucky bastard:angry:


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## ginz

Selden said:


> LOL, I love when people ask that question. It's like when people ask others "why are you lazy?" I guess I'm single but I'm not taking it as bad as I used to (not like I'm older than 22). Whatever, I'm just taking it easy right now. Still, I wish I had a sister (have none) my age who could hook me up with one of her friends. My best friend has a sister around his age and she always introduces him to nice girls. Lucky bastard:angry:


my sister doesnt do that to me DX~!


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## plzNthx

the whole "you have to love yourself before..." issue was the first hurdle. before i started clawing my way out of that little hole, i just kinda sat there waiting for someone to come along and show myself. to myself... flawed. while i wouldn't say i'm completely enthralled with who i am now, i've definitely come a long way from the intense self-loathing (although it is wonderful fun to wallow in every once in a while). :dry:

i want a loving, working relationship, which takes a combination of realism and high standards (a precarious balance). this poses a problem when college is supposed to be all about easy scores, and most 20something <strikethrough>men</s> boys just want a quick lay. that's a service i can't provide.

so basically, i'm young, i don't do casual, and i don't want to have to tell my grandchildren that i met their grandpa while he was doing a keg-stand. he was just <i>so strong</i>.


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## Allium

Harley said:


> I'm always stuck in this apathetic/sarcastic/witty/lazy/frivolous mood...​


And what's wrong with that? To me you sound like you could be a very interesting person with the ability to do some seriously funny one-liners while being cool.
However "I" would probably be very quiet and shy so you wouldn't probably notice "me", taking notice of you. At least the first months hahahaha :laughing:


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## Matt

because girls dont _really_ like me. They just think they do for a little while, then forget me


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## Tkae

Because I couldn't be able to offer anything of value to someone, so I choose not to abuse myself by trying.


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## AdAstraPerAspera

Because I'm going through a massive breakup and I'm an absolute mess. I can barely sleep, can barely eat, rarely have the energy to get up in the morning..


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## Tal

For some reason I always end up with SP's...totally not what I'm looking for...opposites sure do attract. Where are all the NF girls?


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## Essay

a) I come off too strong when I'm interested. Certain types don't realize that I don't have to be gravely, deathly serious about a relationship to write them a little love poem. Meh, the whole process is fun for me at least.

b) I've been associating with travelers for the last 6 months. Every girl I become interested in leaves for their homes in Britain, USA, or Brazil within 2 months of me meeting them.

c) Generally low libido. This is offset by a deep-rooted desire to please, but I guess that doesn't stand out in the same way for some.

d) My ex is still a big part of my life. She's one of my best friends for Pete's sake. Maybe this keeps me from looking very hard.


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## Mutatio NOmenis

Matt said:


> because girls dont _really_ like me. They just think they do for a little while, then forget me


This happens to me all the time. It's why I've never even held a hand or hugged, or kissed.


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## vt1099ace

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> This happens to me all the time. It's why I've never even held a hand or hugged, or kissed.


for me It's that 'lets be freinds' crap...or the 'I like you like a brother' crap....nothing is more spiteful to do to a guy...:angry:


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## phrancrizo

I'm too 'complicated and unemotional'.......


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## Heather

Because no guy ever seems right enough. And the older I get, the scarier it becomes to make that jump into intimacy.

Also, apparently you need to "love yourself" before anyone can love you.. *rolls eyes*


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## Mutatio NOmenis

vt1099ace said:


> for me It's that 'lets be freinds' crap...or the 'I like you like a brother' crap....nothing is more spiteful to do to a guy...:angry:


All the girls I ask out don't even maintain our relationship afterwards. All they do is say no then avoid me as much as possible.


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## Robatix

I ran out of space in my freezer.


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## Buffichar

I watch. All i ever do is watch. I've spent my entire life proving that I can stand on my own. Hmm I guess i never really considered it a possibility which made the conversation with my Mom recently kinda funny. I am who I am and I just get nervous and uncomfortable when someone has their sights on me. I like people and can be social when in the right company but once that magnifying lense gets set on me i get all hot uncomfortable and feel like throwing up or running away. But sitting watching people is quite fun. When I'm not wallowing in people telling me how much i'm not like them by wanting the same things they want or being just like them. I just sit and smile and enjoy the world around me including all you lovely souls doing what you do so well.:happy:


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## vt1099ace

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> All the girls I ask out don't even maintain our relationship afterwards. All they do is say no then avoid me as much as possible.


Sorry if I came off sounding bitter and cynical...it's more of a frustrating and dejected thing mostly. If all the girls really did 'think of me as a brother' I'd have more siblings than john-boy walton _(old TV series, some of you may get it, if you do explain it to those that don't...)_


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## Moon Pix

Im very independent. I really dislike being told what to do by anyone. On top of that a lot of girls my age are shallow. If they don't think you are attractive they won't even talk to you.


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## Lady K

I've been single for about a year and half now. I honestly wish I wasn't. It's not entirely easy to date when you're a single mom though, and quite frankly, my depression gets in the way. I self-isolate a lot these days. It's a vicious cycle I suppose. I miss love and romance, movie dates and cuddling. Sometimes I think it's over for me though. I can't imagine trying to start a relationship with someone while I have a three year old in tow. She's my priority, and I don't want anyone who isn't going to love her. Guys my age aren't generally ready to be that kind of person, and older men that are, are generally unavailable.


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## Bastable

Why am i single? i guess it's because i want what i can't have and disdain what i can for some reason...


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## teflon

I'm aromantic

not "a romantic" but aromantic

it means having no desire for romantic relations with others.


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## NARCO

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> All the girls I ask out don't even maintain our relationship afterwards. All they do is say no then avoid me as much as possible.


Exactly! They pull the "let's just be friends so we don't ruin our friend relationship" line.... then they end up avoiding you. :frustrating:

The friendship ultimately gets destroyed anyway.


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## vt1099ace

NARCO said:


> Exactly! They pull the "let's just be friends so we don't ruin our friend relationship" line.... then they end up avoiding you. :frustrating:
> 
> The friendship ultimately gets destroyed anyway.


THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SAY! 

(that and eveyone I would like to have an interest in just looks at me and says EWWWW!..see "who would you date" thread)


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## NARCO

vt1099ace said:


> THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SAY!
> 
> (that and eveyone I would like to have an interest in just looks at me and says EWWWW!..see "who would you date" thread)


Yes, I would like to hear the female side of this as to why they start avoiding us. It doesn't seem fair! :frustrating:


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## Mutatio NOmenis

So, start answering!


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## natashasghost

Ninja said:


> I am never alone even though I was born as an individual into the world. A multicellular individual, with the many parts of me working together for us to live. Like a jelly fish that is made of hundreds of tiny little creatures working together to function effectively for defence and feeding like my fingers that ball into my palm to make a fist, or my teeth working with my tongue to eat and speak. I am composed of many Like the demon legion from the bible who was cast into the swine. who said before running off the cliff in the form of many pigs. "Our name is legion for we are many", while occupying the body of a single man. Because I talk like this to people


It's not creepy or weird...it's true, and really beautiful thanks


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## natashasghost

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> So, start answering!


 
Hmmm...I didn't notice you there. um..Because you guys sit in front of the computer for so long that when you finally do talk to a girl you send vibes that immediately tell her you are probably going to skin her and arrange her bones on an altar? :laughing:


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## Chilln

natashasghost said:


> Hmmm...I didn't notice you there. um..Because you guys sit in front of the computer for so long that when you finally do talk to a girl you send vibes that immediately tell her you are probably going to skin her and arrange her bones on an altar? :laughing:


That's a convincing argument for celibacy ^
What if it's the girl who's sitting in front of the computer all the time and it's the dude who's super social (I've seen it happen). Or what if they both just hate socializing and want to get straight to the fun part :crazy:


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## LeafStew

Either because I'm scared of woman or because I dont have a clue about life.

Which is worst?


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## Aerorobyn

I don't know? Maybe I'm unattractive and have a bad personality that scares people away.  It's possible. 

Other than that, maybe I just kind of like being single? It actually is very refreshing. I like being able to be free and talk to whomever I want and whatnot, without having someone get all jealous and insecure and shiz. 

Also, it seems if I chase a person and finally catch them, I generally don't want them. It's like I was just in it for the chase, and that's all that really mattered. But then there are those select few who I do really, really want - and I'm sure I'd still want them even if I caught them - but I don't seem to ever catch them. :sad:

Want what you can't have, get what you don't want. :mellow:


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## AirMarionette

Because I like being a flighty kite, weightless and unbounded.


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## natashasghost

Chilln said:


> That's a convincing argument for celibacy ^
> What if it's the girl who's sitting in front of the computer all the time and it's the dude who's super social (I've seen it happen). Or what if they both just hate socializing and want to get straight to the fun part :crazy:


Lol...you make me laugh. I don't think I could breath if we hung out  Where oh where can we find some girls like this for these poor dudes? I've got rope, anyone have any ruffies?


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## HannibalLecter

Because I'm a mean old INTJ!


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## jdmn

Cause right now.. I'm really not interested in romance, I'm more interested in have good and long lasting friendships, they're more important in my late teens as well as my family. They're my top concern now.

And I really don't attract people romantically, I'm not and have never been a flirter, so I'm never considered!


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## Deja Vu

I'm not sure what I want out of life.


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## obz900

I'm single because I was hurt too badly in my last relationship to even _begin_ thinking about another one right now. Also because I have more important and fun things to be doing right now.


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## Ormazd

Because I don't know anybody and I am really bad at getting to know people.

Because I'm picky.

Because most people find my personality to be unattractive I guess. *shrugs*


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## sushi

because, 6 billion people in the planet and i can't pick any special one that i can be myself with.


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## KyojiK

Because by random chance, all six girls I've dated were ISFP. It truly boggles my mind.


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## Rayne

Most people just end up disappointing me so I figured it's probably best not to go after someone, as they'll just disappoint me. That and I'm probably not attractive to most women. And even if I am my personality would probably scare them off.


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## JoetheBull

no girl I asked out said yes except a stripper one time but she never returned my call. recently the main reason is I have no real means of meeting girls except anime conventions and when I am forced to go to the bars with my friends. The bar is less so since I am bored to tears when ever I am there so I usually avoid talking to people there.


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## pinkrasputin

Because I want to be.


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## Zic

Ormazd said:


> Because I don't know anybody and I am really bad at getting to know people.
> 
> Because I'm picky.
> 
> Because most people find my personality to be unattractive I guess. *shrugs*


Kinda the same here. Looks like I'm too unconfident and shy.


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## thisisme

just got out of a relationship after having just got out of a relationship after just having got out of a relationship...so...i think i'm going to try not being in one until i'm exactly where i want to be all by myself.


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## pinkrasputin

thisisme said:


> just got out of a relationship after having just got out of a relationship after just having got out of a relationship...so...i think i'm going to try not being in one until i'm exactly where i want to be all by myself.


Whoa, I was beginning to think I was the only one..


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## thisisme

pinkrasputin said:


> Whoa, I was beginning to think I was the only one..


yeah? maybe being single will be cool.


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## kyebosh

Because the kind of girl I'm attracted to deserves & desires far more than I can offer


----------



## NinjaSwan

Because I'm a picky bastard, and most people are stupid and piss me off.

:laughing:


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## laly37

Because I haven't met a person I would like to be with who was single as well.
I am also a dominant freak so I haven't met anyone I could feel I respect enough to lead me. I feel like all men are carpets.


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## thisisme

laly37 said:


> Because I haven't met a person I would like to be with who was single as well.
> *I am also a dominant freak so I haven't met anyone I could feel I respect enough to lead me. I feel like all men are carpets.*


says the estj! how funny! :laughing:


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## WickedQueen

laly37 said:


> I am also a dominant freak so I haven't met anyone I could feel I respect enough to lead me. I feel like all men are carpets.


Yeah, agreed. Guys are ego maniac morons. They bored me to death.


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## missred

because its impossible to meet people my own age when i never leave the house. 
all the boys i rejected when i was with my ex seem to have moved on or away.


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## Wheelie

meeting the right people seems to be the major challenge. High School and Uni good for meeting people. IN addition to that, talking to someone random without coming of a freaky random creep is a challenge and art of its own. In the end it become too emotionally draining.


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## thestrangewarrior

Just plain choice. It would be nice to be with someone someday, but I don't think I'm mature enough yet despite being in my 20's. I still have to be happy with myself and get myself through college.


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## pacifythis

Just got out of a serious relationship.

Taking things day by day now :wink:


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## laly37

Willy said:


> meeting the right people seems to be the major challenge. High School and Uni good for meeting people. IN addition to that, talking to someone random without coming of a freaky random creep is a challenge and art of its own. In the end it become too emotionally draining.


I have done a lot of internet dating, and I go out clubbing a lot and I have the same problem, meeting up with random strangers is very time consuming and with no feedback you never know what went well or bad. witout mentioning the pure waste of time bad dates.
I would so much prefer to date a friend's recomendation...:mellow:


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## Jinxies

Well... I went single after my first marriage due to boredom and stagnation. I had lost the connection. Part of it was that the marriage counselor said we had turned from a partner/partner relationship to a mother/child relationship. It really hurt our relations. 

Second time around. I couldn't stand his annoying tendencies to focus on all the little things... and his inability to be flexible. So I told him we were over... of course, he killed himself over it... so I suppose I am doubly single after that one. 

Now, I just prefer to be on my own. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want and if I want to sit in pajamas and play video games or read a book or not eat dinner... I am free to do whatever pleases me most.


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## JoetheBull

laly37 said:


> I have done a lot of internet dating, and I go out clubbing a lot and I have the same problem, meeting up with random strangers is very time consuming and with no feedback you never know what went well or bad. witout mentioning the pure waste of time bad dates.
> I would so much prefer to date a friend's recomendation...:mellow:


Internet dating I have had the worst luck in. And I hate go out clubbing because I get bored and drained in a matter of secs. I fear recommendations from friends since he would set me up with some one I have no interest just to watch me squirm (or so I believe). The only time I asked out a girl and got a yes was at a strip club. I wouldn't suggest asking out strippers. I got a yes but never a call back. I think she was just trying to be nice.


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## Outcode

I'm shy, have low self-confidence, and a fear of rejection; plus I never make the first move. That's why I'm still single


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## Preeb

Neither the time nor the place is right... besides that, I'm usually not in a position to meet nice girls, hahaha!
Then I guess there is the issue with my poor confidence, meh.


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## Daydream Believer

To begin with I don't have many opportunities to meet new people at the moment. I'm finishing up at a community college and my life basically consists of going there for classes and spending time with my family, unless I'm working. The few people I have met aren't exactly the kinds of people I want to get to know further, even just as friends. I don't mean to sound rude, we're just not the same kinds of people at all. I don't have any friends I hang out with even outside of school since I've kind of drifted away from the ones I had once high school ended, so I wouldn't have anyone to introduce me to people. I talk to a few friends online, one who actually does want to date me and is transferring to the same university I am this fall, but I'm really not interested in him that way at all anyway. Even if there was someone else who wanted to date me that I was interested in, I'd just want to spend some time getting my bearings and establishing myself in my new life after I transfer before I'd really consider dating anyone. In addition to all of this I'm someone who doesn't take relationships lightly. I usually like to be friends with someone for a while before dating them. I've been in a transition phase for a long time. By distancing myself from everyone and even completely severing my ties with those I didn't really want in my life I've been able to just focus on me. I haven't really missed being in a relationship at all. When I _do _date someone again I think I'll feel strong about who I am, be able to understand/ask for what I deserve in a relationship, and be able to offer the other person everything they deserve as well.


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## Lestroe

I'm really oblivious to my surroundings. I never notice someone is interested in me. I just don't pick up those signals that everyone else understands.


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## soulstice

I want and fear intimacy.
I'm picky.
I'm not very socially and emotionally intelligent.
I need to put myself out there more.


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## Wheelie

Jinxies said:


> Well... I went single after my first marriage due to boredom and stagnation. I had lost the connection. Part of it was that the marriage counselor said we had turned from a partner/partner relationship to a mother/child relationship. It really hurt our relations.
> 
> Second time around. I couldn't stand his annoying tendencies to focus on all the little things... and his inability to be flexible. So I told him we were over... of course, he killed himself over it... so I suppose I am doubly single after that one.
> 
> Now, I just prefer to be on my own. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want and if I want to sit in pajamas and play video games or read a book or not eat dinner... I am free to do whatever pleases me most.


Wait did I read that right? HE killed himself? Like suicide?


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## Who

Right now, I really don't have much time to socialize/maintain a relationship.

In the past, though, I never had a girlfriend in high school for a couple reasons. For one, the girls I had a crush on tended to just see me as a friend and nothing more. Besides that, I knew high school relationships rarely work out (sure, sometimes they do, but statistically speaking, it's far more likely for it to end after one or two semesters or grades). Plus, I admit, I was also more or less paranoid about a couple things.


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## thisisme

Willy said:


> Wait did I read that right? HE killed himself? Like suicide?


i know! god that's awful.


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## laly37

JoetheBull said:


> Internet dating I have had the worst luck in. And I hate go out clubbing because I get bored and drained in a matter of secs. I fear recommendations from friends since he would set me up with some one I have no interest just to watch me squirm (or so I believe). The only time I asked out a girl and got a yes was at a strip club. I wouldn't suggest asking out strippers. I got a yes but never a call back. I think she was just trying to be nice.


Internet dating is a difficult one. But with a few rules I managed to sort the weid out.
1. Meet after 5 emails (or phone calls)
2. Always meet in a public placee
3.Only meet for a drink (You can run after just the one if it is too painful :crazy
4. Do not date just one person at a time


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## laly37

Outcode said:


> I'm shy, have low self-confidence, and a fear of rejection; plus I never make the first move. That's why I'm still single


I have been asked by shy people, maybe you haven't met the right girl.


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## laly37

Daydream Believer said:


> To begin with I don't have many opportunities to meet new people at the moment. I'm finishing up at a community college and my life basically consists of going there for classes and spending time with my family, unless I'm working. The few people I have met aren't exactly the kinds of people I want to get to know further, even just as friends. I don't mean to sound rude, we're just not the same kinds of people at all. I don't have any friends I hang out with even outside of school since I've kind of drifted away from the ones I had once high school ended, so I wouldn't have anyone to introduce me to people. I talk to a few friends online, one who actually does want to date me and is transferring to the same university I am this fall, but I'm really not interested in him that way at all anyway. Even if there was someone else who wanted to date me that I was interested in, I'd just want to spend some time getting my bearings and establishing myself in my new life after I transfer before I'd really consider dating anyone. In addition to all of this I'm someone who doesn't take relationships lightly. I usually like to be friends with someone for a while before dating them. I've been in a transition phase for a long time. By distancing myself from everyone and even completely severing my ties with those I didn't really want in my life I've been able to just focus on me. I haven't really missed being in a relationship at all. When I _do _date someone again I think I'll feel strong about who I am, be able to understand/ask for what I deserve in a relationship, and be able to offer the other person everything they deserve as well.


Wow a point for deep focus. I have never thought that much about when to date someone.


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## Count Dusseldorf

Dexter said:


> Because nobody wants me. :sad:


I know that feeling, it sucks, I ask women out on occasion (but since i'm not 21 (i'm only 19) yet I cant go to bars looking for women :angry: ) and usually get some kind of lame ass excuse, I'm slightly overweight but not a bad looking guy, I'm definatly not as bad as some of the other people out there, I guess I just have to lower my standards since I like to ask out the uber-hotties.


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## Outcode

laly37 said:


> I have been asked by shy people, maybe you haven't met the right girl.


I wouldn't ask anyone out unless I know for sure that they like me.

How do I know who's "the right girl?" :|


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## soulstice

Outcode said:


> I wouldn't ask anyone out unless I know for sure that they like me.
> 
> How do I know who's "the right girl?" :|


They don't need to be the right girl... most relationships end up breaking up anyways... its all about experiencing.. through relationships you can learn what you need(if you don't know already). Go out and learn!


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## energeticelephant

Because I'm looking for a husband and not a boyfriend :tongue:

I really want one of the former and have no interest in getting one of the latter. Maybe I should change my strategy, but I'm pleased with the way my single life is right now. Besides, after my last relationship I'm overly cautious about getting into another something terrible.

I'm looking for guys I can be good friends with, investigate their characters properly (without all that sex and "boyfriend/girlfriend" stigma) and make a decision based on that whether they're husband material or not.

That way I can leave my options open? :crazy:


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## thewindlistens

WickedQueen said:


> I would love to be your girlfriend... in another dimension where there is no religion so I don't have to bother to limited myself with only dating a Muslim guy.


Oh man, me and an ESTJ. Like an experiment to see how crazy a couple can drive each other. I can see it being fun. For science!


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## WickedQueen

Eh? But ESTJ and INTP is a good match.



> Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, ESTJ's natural partner is the ISTP, or the INTP. ESTJ's dominant function of Extraverted Thinking is best matched with someone whose dominant function is Introverted Thinking. The ESTJ/ISTP combination is deal because it also shared the Sensing way of perceiving the world, but the ESTJ/INTP combination is also quite good.
> 
> Source: http://www.personalitypage.com/ESTJ_rel.html


http://www.personalitypage.com/ESTJ_rel.html


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## WickedQueen

double post.


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## thewindlistens

WickedQueen said:


> Eh? But ESTJ and INTP is a good match.
> 
> http://www.personalitypage.com/ESTJ_rel.html


Hey, I said it would be fun. I tend to drive SJs crazy though, I've seen, and the feeling is usually mutual. Though I suppose, since I've never actually been in a relationship that lasted any real amount of time, I might have overlooked the fact that they're all about compromising...

Maybe that's a better reason for me being single than simply "I'm single because I'm single." like I said before.


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## thisisme

you don't like to compromise? that's your reason? :laughing:


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## Socrates

Not enough balls to ask someone out.
No idea where to go IF I could.
No clue how or when to make moves.
That's pretty much it, really. This list used to be a lot longer.


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## android654

-I'm fucked up beyond repair, and anyone who got too close to me would be damaged.

-I'm working on too many things right now to add more people to my life.


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## JJMTBC

Kevinaswell said:


> Hmm.
> 
> Well.
> 
> Everyone is retarded.
> 
> I don't see how I have much of a choice.....


haha, that's funny


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## JJMTBC

android654 said:


> -I'm fucked up beyond repair, and anyone who got too close to me would be damaged.
> 
> -I'm working on too many things right now to add more people to my life.


to the first, don't be such a daniel downer! just embrace the strengths and goodness that you do have!

to the second, I think that's always a good task!


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## Immortal Beloved

I'm single for the sole reason that I'm seriously career driven and have no time for a relationship. I hardly have any friends for that matter. Yes, I'm fine with admitting that I'm a workaholic! I'm constantly getting asked out and I do go on dates with some guys... but I always turn them down when it comes to commitment because I know I'm not able to commit fully to someone and that's just not fair for them.


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## JJMTBC

I'm too young for that shit- 23 is the time to live life, build my awesome career, and try to make a difference in this world in whatever minute way I can.. Plus.. most men don't like to play with fire :wink:


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## PorlockVisitor

I'm picky, picky, picky.
And lately I haven't had many offers...

Huh. I hadn't even noticed.


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## Coccinellidae

I'm single because I can't handle relationships or just say... I have hard times being in them.


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## android654

JJMTBC said:


> to the first, don't be such a daniel downer! just embrace the strengths and goodness that you do have!
> 
> to the second, I think that's always a good task!


I think the funniest part about that is my name is Daniel, and I'm a pretty big downer.


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## JJMTBC

android654 said:


> I think the funniest part about that is my name is Daniel, and I'm a pretty big downer.


haha, that is funny. Well, we should change your name to Uppity Ulric, then you can't be a downer anymore!


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## android654

JJMTBC said:


> haha, that is funny. Well, we should change your name to Uppity Ulric, then you can't be a downer anymore!


You ENFP's are always cheering people up.


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## JJMTBC

android654 said:


> You ENFP's are always cheering people up.



Hey, don't generalize me!

But,
Is there something wrong with that?


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## Socrates

JJMTBC said:


> Hey, don't generalize me!
> 
> But,
> Is there something wrong with that?


Sometimes.

I can't stand when people try to cheer me up over my fucked lovelife. I know there are more instances where it bothers me, but that's just the main one. :tongue:


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## JJMTBC

Clandestine said:


> Sometimes.
> 
> I can't stand when people try to cheer me up over my fucked lovelife. I know there are more instances where it bothers me, but that's just the main one. :tongue:




Dude, almost everyone thinks they're love-life is fucked. Even people in relationships. Just stop worrying about it and live.


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## Socrates

JJMTBC said:


> Dude, almost everyone thinks they're love-life is fucked. Even people in relationships. Just stop worrying about it and live.


I'm not worried about it.


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## Mutatio NOmenis

I can't find any girls willing to understand me and my insane but logical and frighteningly accurate thoughts. They hear "he has Aspergers" or "He has ADHD" and they think that I'm a little boy who is most likely going to hug a fun babysitter. I'm not and I'm way beyond that. I'm short (5'5"). I'm blond, INTP, male, 17, and a virgin. I'm too old to acceptably be single, but I'm too young to be in a good dating pool. I need to get off to college.


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## Oleas

Don't know. I haven't found somebody I'm interested in in ages. *frustrated*


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## limelight3

honestly...I just haven't found someone that I feel is a good use of my time. I'm very flighty, so I always feel bad for the other person cuz my attention span is about 5 minutes. It takes a lot for me to put effort into a relationship.


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## Paradox of Vigor

I don't enjoy talking to most people. Besides... money comes before women!


----------



## Oleas

limelight3 said:


> honestly...I just haven't found someone that I feel is a good use of my time. I'm very flighty, so I always feel bad for the other person cuz my attention span is about 5 minutes. It takes a lot for me to put effort into a relationship.


Same for me. I haven't found someone I'll be able to be myself with, and not feel forced to be with him. And I lose interest pretty fast! (not a good thing)


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## Doomjr

Lazy and shy!:laughing:


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## Vaka

I'm a bit shy and I usually prefer to do my own thing. Plus, I actually don't really feel like I can relate very well to many people my age...I'm only 17, though. But it seems like a lot of people have already had boyfriends/girlfriends. I don't really see the point, anyway. If I actually found someone who I loved in high school, I would either have to leave them or base some of my post-highschool plans around the relationship which just don't fly with me lol


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## Third Engine

Actually, I really don't know. I haven't felt like being in a relationship or dating anyone for a while, and I'm not sure why. I think this'll end soon though.


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## st0831

I get along with everyone until they find out what actually goes on in my head. It's hard finding a person that can ride my stream of thoughts and where I can ride theirs. If they do, it will be the best roller coaster they have ever ridden guaranteed. Roller coaster of Love :laughing:


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## amanda32

Honestly? Because most people are ... not very nice.


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## Selden

amanda32 said:


> Honestly? Because most people are ... not very nice.


Unfriendly Canadians??? What part are you in? Quebec?


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## amanda32

Selden said:


> Unfriendly Canadians??? What part are you in? Quebec?


Actually, I was just in Montreal and they were *really *friendly!

I mean, not trustworthy, selfish, disloyal, liars. That kind of thing.


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## mrscientist

Unlike some countries, where they greet you while stabbing you in the back, while stealing your car and baking you a cake.


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## reyesaaronringo

i've been single for several months and i love it. i'm using the KISS philosophy for the rest of the year.


----------



## Selden

reyesaaronringo said:


> i've been single for several months and i love it. i'm using the KISS philosophy for the rest of the year.


If that was true it'd be quite the opposite


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## Seeker99

Because I am unattractive, unconfident and dull.

And guys, especially my age, are shallow.


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## Outcode

Seeker99 said:


> Because I am unattractive, unconfident and dull.
> 
> And guys, especially my age, are shallow.


Your profile picture isn't unattractive. I can't really say anything about your confidence or your personality because I don't know you that well though :tongue:


I'm still single because I don't know how to ask people out. (The reasons listed on my previous post also still apply... :sad


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## Gaminegirlie

Harley said:


> Because the internet won't allow me.
> That and the fact that I am _extremely_ slow to react in relationships.
> I'm always stuck in this apathetic/sarcastic/witty/lazy/frivolous mood that makes it hard for people to gauge whether I'm serious or not, so they usually give up on me.
> Nobody has been able to figure out my paradoxical nature yet.
> If you can tolerate me for more than a few months I'll give you free brownies, and a place to sleep beside me at night.​


Exactly!! lol

But yeah I'm still single and may remain so for the rest of my life, cause i can't waste my energies on someone whom i can't respect his mind or can't respect mine. Its exhausting, plus i don't know if i could survive a heart-break


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## Aerorobyn

Seeker99 said:


> Because I am unattractive, unconfident and dull.
> 
> And guys, especially my age, are shallow.


You're not unattractive at all, so you can throw that one out the window! :tongue: As Outcode said, I don't know you well enough to say anything about the confidence and stuff, but I highly doubt you're dull!  


I'm single because, well... If I get into another relationship, I want to have complete confidence that it will go somewhere. I want someone who is actually serious about a relationship. I have people ask me out, but I'm not interested in them and/or I just don't see anything beyond a friendship with them... and then the ones I would like to see something happen with, they only see me as a friend. 

Sooo... basically it's just not the right time for me to be in one right now, I guess. Eventually, someone will come along and we'll look at each other from across the room, walk towards each other, and dance to some beautiful music. It will be like love at first sight. It will be a fairy-tale romance, that I will live through to come back to PerC and tell all of you fine folks about. *Sigh*

 The next time I say stuff like that, somebody shoot me.


----------



## Antithesis

I always thought it was because I was so fat - US size 10 at worst (I'm barely 5'3") but I'm now a US size 2-4 and still don't get any male attention, so it must be something else.


----------



## pmj85

For me, it's mainly because I was a little shy and too considerate towards other people's feelings when I was younger (for example, if a friend wanted to get with a girl even if the girl was interested in me, I'd step aside like an idiot).

Despite that, I had a fair few chances when I was in my teens (I essentially worked my way through all the girls in my social group systematically, ballsing it up royally each time). I'd get so far in to something then realise that there just wasn't a connection great enough to continue the relationship further... I guess you could say I've really upset some people along the way but never with ill intent, it's just the way I am. 

I've done a lot of growing up since then though; at the moment I'm on the lookout for that special someone, though I'm almost 25 so I need to get my arse in to gear


----------



## Immemorial

Never leaving the house can have its problems. :mellow:
A disinterest in people doesn't help much either. The majority of people I have met bore me.


----------



## Colombina

By choice; in a year I'll be studying abroad and I think I'll get more out of it if I'm uncoupled. As it is I don't have many strong emotional ties to home besides my family and I want as much freedom as possible while I'm away. Plus I'll get to flirt with the locals & other international students. :tongue:


----------



## Indigo Aria

I'm still single because I can't bring myself to talk to anyone let alone girls I find attractive. It's not that I'm shy, It's just that I never really developed small talk skills so I can't initiate conversation if I want to. Also I tend to be a bit picky.

Oh...not to mention I'm not living the life I'm built for and am constantly surrounded by people I couldn't give two shits less about. Where do the ENFP's in southwest PA hang out?


----------

