# NF's and dealing with loneliness



## cappuccinocool (Aug 7, 2010)

XXXX said:


> Hey all you NF's,
> 
> How often do you ever feel lonely? How easy is it for you to overcome loneliness, and how do you go about that?


I feel lonely a lot. But lately I've come to accept who I am--I appreciate solitude and time to reflect. I've spoken to people who were more extroverted than myself and they say they feel bored when they're by themselves--I can honestly say I am NEVER bored because I'm so comfortable being alone. I have a 1up on them. 

On the same token, I have no one else to blame for my loneliness but myself. People are out there all around me. I just CHOOSE not to interact with them. I can have a booming social life if I desire it and am willing to try and fail then try and win. 


in those times of loneliness, we have to get out of the "woe is me" mentality. 
The world is full of interaction.


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## boredToDeath (Jan 3, 2010)

When I feel lonely I make music or watch TV. That way I'm really concentrating on something else. 

Anyways, I noticed that its the lack of a deep relationship with someone that causes this loneliness,not lack of communication.


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## JojoGopher (Aug 1, 2009)

I often feel lonely, even when surrounded by people. I find that the feeling stems not from the lack of company, but from a lack of intimacy with another human. When I feel this way, often something as simple as a hug from a close friend will wash the cold sensation away. Never underestimate the power of a simple touch. This doesn't have to be something sexual. Just having someone lean their head on my shoulder will make me feel a contentment that can't be duplicated. Physical contact is a basic, yet sadly overlooked need of all humans.


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## barbalootSuits (Sep 19, 2009)

cappuccinocool said:


> I feel lonely a lot. But lately I've come to accept who I am--I appreciate solitude and time to reflect. I've spoken to people who were more extroverted than myself and they say they feel bored when they're by themselves--I can honestly say I am NEVER bored because I'm so comfortable being alone. I have a 1up on them.
> 
> On the same token, I have no one else to blame for my loneliness but myself. People are out there all around me. I just CHOOSE not to interact with them. I can have a booming social life if I desire it and am willing to try and fail then try and win.
> 
> ...


Yeah, the "woe is me" mentality. That can get to be a downward spiral real fast and so easy to get into. But anyway, I liked what you said about the world being full of interaction. If only the lonely can remember that it's just a step out the door and maybe a simple encounter with a cashier or something, it can help to keep their heads above water


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## cappuccinocool (Aug 7, 2010)

Suck it up NFs! You'll be licking your wounds in solitude for the rest of your life. Enjoy the taste of your misery now while you still can


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## Unicorntopia (Jun 18, 2010)

I am lonely right now. It seems that whenever I find someone who makes me feel not lonely, they end up not wanting to interact with me anymore eventually. I want to crawl in a hole and cry forever but I can't because I have to work and run errands and put on a happy face for all the rest of the people. :sad:

I try to do things like exercise and eat healthy but nothing seems to be working. I must be doing something wrong.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

YouTube - The All-American Rejects - Move Along

I just get moving and find something to make me stop feeling the symptoms. Otherwise, it's like an all-consuming hunger that physically hurts and makes me feel like I'm freezing from the inside.


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## Jazibelle (Sep 3, 2010)

I accept it when it comes, analise it, try to make peace with what has brot it up.
I try not to nurture it so that it does not overwhelm me.
if the feeling persist, I wil stimulate my senses with music, movie, reading, go out
and take a walk and look at all that surround me, if I can I talk with friends and/or
family.

/hug


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## Blue Butterfly (Sep 19, 2009)

Loneliness is better than having your life’s energy sucked out of you from other people.


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## greatexpectations (Aug 28, 2010)

XXXX said:


> Hey all you NF's,
> 
> How often do you ever feel lonely? How easy is it for you to overcome loneliness, and how do you go about that?


i feel lonely often, not because i dont have any friends or family but because in my everday school day im in this environment where i am a complete contrast to my environment. sometimes i get sad and feel lonely because there is not one day where i dont get confirmed in how "weird i am".. like being called: weird, SO strange, SO funny weird, so this so that........ETC


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## Blueguardian (Aug 22, 2009)

XXXX said:


> Hey all you NF's,
> 
> How often do you ever feel lonely? How easy is it for you to overcome loneliness, and how do you go about that?


I am a little bit lonely at some point in the day, most of the time. However, usually it isn't anything to big and I brush it off. Sometimes, I feel exceptionally lonely and I can't just push it aside. In these instances I tend to do self reflection, talk to friends, or take a walk while listening to music. It can take a while to go away in these instances though. 

One added note... I seem to be more lonely during the evening hours than during the rest of the day.


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## Seventree (Jan 12, 2010)

I'm lonely often and I distract myself with knowing and believing in the times when there will be love in my life.


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## Miss Tfy (Sep 28, 2010)

My earliest childhood memories are those of loneliness. I remember waking up at the weekend and not feeling hungry, so I thought well hey there's no need to leave my room then? So I got dressed and played for hours in my room until I got into trouble... I wanted to have friends but I was terrified of everyone around me, adults and children.

Throughout my life I occasionally get a glimpse of what it's like to have a few friends, but then events take a turn for the worse and I end up back on my own again for some reason. Going through yet another lonely phase right now. It is strangely calming though, because it feels so familiar, with being my earliest recollection.

I don't deal with it well. I daydream and sleep more than usual. But I imagine myself snapping out of it and that gives me hope, even though it can take an age for that to actually happen!


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## refugee (Mar 26, 2010)

yeah i feel lonely all the time...the only thing i can do is watch the second hand pass by


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## periculosa (Apr 3, 2010)

toocaring said:


> *1st time post! Yay! Lol*
> 
> It depends on what kind of "lonliness" you're refering to. Is it lonliness due to being single, or is it because you live alone?
> 
> For me, my lonliness comes from being single (without a companion/significant other) for such a long time. I overcome it by reading a book, watch some TV/news, just about anything that'll get my mind off of wishing I had someone special to talk to.


Hey...just wanted to welcome you to PerC!


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## boredToDeath (Jan 3, 2010)

Dealing With Loneliness

Very helpful...thought I'd share it:happy:.


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## Tal (Oct 19, 2009)

Interesting thread.

I'm personally lonely all the time. I think it would be good to define what loneliness is for me a little though, as most of the suggestions I've seen here, reading, writing, good movie etc., for me have more to do with boredom than lonliness (I'm always lonely, but rarely bored). Basically different ways to sidetrack/entertain yourself.

I can be sitting in a room full of people (although I prefer to be alone, or with small groups) and involved in all the conversations around me and still feel totally alone if there's no connection for me on a personal level (which is a very rare occurance). 

Most relationships haven't met the need either. Ha, probably because I almost always end up with SFP's, so that would explain never being bored but always being lonely :laughing: Actually I used to tell my last GF I was lonely while she was with me all the time, of course she never got it.

I guess for me it's about being with the RIGHT person, and being engaged on all levels.

Luckily I've had the odd occasion I've tasted what I'm looking for and felt the lonliness disappear...so I know it's out there somewhere, and I'm not willing to settle for less anymore as far as romantic relationships go...had enough of that.


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## periculosa (Apr 3, 2010)

Tal said:


> Interesting thread.
> 
> I'm personally lonely all the time. I think it would be good to define what loneliness is for me a little though, as most of the suggestions I've seen here, reading, writing, good movie etc., for me have more to do with boredom than lonliness (I'm always lonely, but rarely bored). Basically different ways to sidetrack/entertain yourself.
> 
> ...


Interesting that you try to "define" loneliness. I have no difficulty distinguishing it from boredom. I am rarely bored, because I am very busy and I have to try to function in spite of the strong emotions I feel most days.

But if I had to use a term other than loneliness for what I feel, then I would call it longing. I haven't had a satisfying intimate (both physical and emotional) relationship with another person in a very long time. I thought I had such a relationship with my husband and then I discovered that it was simply a self-sustained illusion. The loneliness I feel at times is almost a palpable thing; it sears through me. Sometimes I don't want to go out in public where I see couples, and would rather be out alone in nature. In those moments, paradoxically, I _don't_ feel lonely. When I am out in the woods I feel more a part of the world than when I am among people.

Hobbies or watching TV or listening to music isn't going to make this sort of longing go away. Sometimes, though, writing helps. On a lucky day I get involved enough in some activity or other and I manage to forget for a few hours. But lately most everything, even the things that I once got passionate about, simply seem hollow. I worry that I will be swallowed up my sadness and my loneliness.


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## Tal (Oct 19, 2009)

periculosa said:


> But if I had to use a term other than loneliness for what I feel, then I would call it longing.


I was just defining it for myself really, but longing is really spot on.



periculosa said:


> I thought I had such a relationship with my husband and then I discovered that it was simply a self-sustained illusion.


One of the biggest problems is projecting. I don't really do it anymore...ha...probably why I'm not with anyone. I won't let anyone do it with me either...ha...probably why I'm not with anyone.


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## PaintedMonk (Oct 27, 2010)

greatexpectations said:


> i feel lonely often, not because i dont have any friends or family but because in my everday school day im in this environment where i am a complete contrast to my environment. sometimes i get sad and feel lonely because there is not one day where i dont get confirmed in how "weird i am".. like being called: weird, SO strange, SO funny weird, so this so that........ETC


This is an interesting comment. I was talking to a friend who is also an NFer, and we both shared how "weird" is a word people tended to use for us. 

And I don't think it's a bad thing. It's because of, not despite, our strangeness that we can get through sometimes where conventional routes fail. And I think it's better to be weird than boring or simple or a lot of other things, eh?


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## pretty.Odd (Oct 7, 2010)

I feel lonely all the time, to the point that it's my default emotion. The worst thing for me to do when I'm lonley is to become a hermit and lock myself inside my house because it only fuels my loneliness and depression even more. Going outside and being with nature helps.


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