# The ENFP Female's True Character



## Windblownhair (Aug 12, 2013)

Alesha said:


> Do you teach? Math? What grade? Yes, my INTP turning -13 year old- tomorrow daughter loves Numberphile, we've watched a lot of those together. We also like Vie Hart videos. Her Fibonacci numbers in nature and her hexa-flexa-gons are what I would start with if you haven't seen Vie Hart.


High school maths, upper division. I like using videos if we’ve got a few spare minutes at the end of class. Numberphile, Computerphile, minute physics, and smarter every day are some of my favorites.

Awesome that your daughter is interested in math. There’s so much potential in the STEM fields.



Alesha said:


> I think I heard a highly likely and unhappy pairing is ESTJ and INFP.... awfulness. But maybe all the things "I heard" were actually from the book you're reading.


Maybe! I was thinking about it in terms of classic movies...it seems like for awhile the STJ/NFP pairing was really common.


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## ai.tran.75 (Feb 26, 2014)

Alesha said:


> Ai, you had such a lovely upbringing of a philosophical and loving ENTP and I think it prepared you to deal with many types. Kind of like my ISTP dad being my rock growing up-- I feel like I know how to act around that type, which is quite a bit quieter than I usually am. By now you definitely know how to be around a ISTP. I think this is the influence of having really good healthy people of all types around you, maybe. What do you think?


Yeah I think it's because I'm expose to many different personalities and people from different walks of life, I'm also intrigued with observing people . Your istp dad sounds sweet. My istp husband adores our daughter( I'm quite certain she's an intj, but she's barely 2 so I won't type her yet )- when you speak of your father , it reminds me about the interaction between my husband and our daughter . Yeah I'm very familiar with my husband- I understand his emotions inside out and can often cheer him up 
At what age did you figured out your kids mbti ? 

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## Llyralen (Sep 4, 2017)

ai.tran.75 said:


> Yeah I think it's because I'm expose to many different personalities and people from different walks of life, I'm also intrigued with observing people . Your istp dad sounds sweet. My istp husband adores our daughter( I'm quite certain she's an intj, but she's barely 2 so I won't type her yet )- when you speak of your father , it reminds me about the interaction between my husband and our daughter . Yeah I'm very familiar with my husband- I understand his emotions inside out and can often cheer him up
> At what age did you figured out your kids mbti ?
> 
> Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk


I had them take a freebie test about a month ago. They both skipped about 50% of the questions. The said the questions didn't make sense or they didn't know. I can tell James is still developing enough that I'm not sure yet. He is an NF. Theres Ne but he's more decisive than a P it seems to me. I wonder if he's developing J. I'm predicting ENFJ-- but we will see, he's still got a lot of room to grow. My daughter is going to be INTP for sure, I think. Its so strong already, her Ti and her Ne in that definite order--she's much more introverted. At age 3, it was very obvious about E or I. James got mad at me one morning when he was 3 because we weren't going to the park, "James--NEEDS!-KIDS!" He told me, purposefully using 3rd person--LMAO. And Kristine's Ti is so strong. We have a lawyer INTP friend who I think is one of the smartest people I know and he loves playing (and asking us all to play) strategy games. When Kristine plays him he watches her moves and I can tell he just is immediately following her thinking. Even at age 10 she and him would both start a sentence the same, using the same argument. Quite funny to watch and for me, gratifying. I think my kids are the best and the smartest things ever. @Windblownhair she watches all these math shows by choice at home. I think all the ones you list. She used to keep notebooks of math problems she would do for fun.


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## Llyralen (Sep 4, 2017)

ai.tran.75 said:


> Yeah I think it's because I'm expose to many different personalities and people from different walks of life, I'm also intrigued with observing people . Your istp dad sounds sweet. My istp husband adores our daughter( I'm quite certain she's an intj, but she's barely 2 so I won't type her yet )- when you speak of your father , it reminds me about the interaction between my husband and our daughter . Yeah I'm very familiar with my husband- I understand his emotions inside out and can often cheer him up
> At what age did you figured out your kids mbti ?
> 
> Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk


Ai, I feel like telling you about my dad. My dad was such a wonderful father all growing up, but I especially have sweet and wonderful memories of him playing with me when I was really young. He would push me in the swing for hours and pretend that I was kicking him over-- anything to make me laugh. Even until I was in my tweens my parents read to us. He would "fall asleep" reading and we would ask him silly questions because he was pretending to talk in his sleep and it was SO funny. He also would make up the best stories with Winnie the Ppoh, Big Bird, Bert and Ernie, Grover, Cookie Monster, Mickie Mouse and Donald duck... all our favorite characters would go walking in the forest together and have adventures! He would do every voice! Even when I was like 10-12 his stories he would make up were like finding the secret passageway into an undiscovered Egyptian boobytrapped ancient tomb and finding mummies and treasure. Best dad ever. Also, he had to take some of the emotional support role for me. My ENTJ mom is a bit unbalanced, so my cheerful dad always let me be who I was and always complimented me and always was "safe". My dad is still the one to tell me he understands me when my mom is being difficult. My dad is also very athletic (I didn't get that gene) and is like a chess master. I didn't mention his biggest talent. He can learn languages like nobody's business. He speaks 4-5 and when he travels he picks up a language for a "bit". Like I don't think he could speak Swedish well now, but after spending 2 weeks in Sweden he was speaking well with a terrific accent and he translated a letter we had from my Swedish great-grandfather. I don't think he could do that now-- but he's super quick to pick up languages. He's very physically capable-- so much so that we took it for granted. I thought he could do anything that took strength or mechanics and I hardly even thought about it. I called him to come push my car out of the mud at age 65. He built a patio with rock slabs (he had to carry them) a few years ago for my mom. He's slowing down just barely now he is 83.


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## sriracha (Sep 19, 2010)

Alesha said:


> I can only think of 1 type who would be bothered (and not admiring or grateful) by authenticity--ESTPs since from what I feel or understand from them they feel like there are 2 worlds that play out in a game of life--the "appearances/rules world" and the "break rules/don't get caught/what I want" world. Maybe another similar type feels that too? We would be a threat to all that-- but otherwise.....? Plus I now know a older ESTP who is wonderful-- his "underground world" is secret acts of service.


That's my experience with ESTPs (and ENTPs as well). Except I wouldn't call it two worlds. In my view, it's called being fake. There hasn't been a lot of discussion on the ENFP x ESTP clash, but if anyone has anything to add, I'd be interested.


Anyway, in response to the topic, I know a few ENFPs IRL. Some of them are just as you described: their authenticity may come off as scary to others. Some ENFPs are friendlier and more welcoming to people than others. An ENFP's curiosity can be attractive to others.

What your friend wrote though is something I haven't seen come to play IRL: "Since they are people focused types, they are quick to pick up the undesirable behaviors of others and quickly dismiss their enemies with their sharp witt." I know ENFPs have the ability to quickly know where someone is coming from, however I haven't seen an ENFP dismiss anyone yet... I thought that Ne would be open to understanding everything there is in the world. Maybe the ones I know are not argumentative?


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## Falling Foxes (Oct 19, 2016)

I think one point that also influences that survey (assuming that it is the survey I was thinking of) is that it was set up by an ENFP who regularly posts on the point articles about ENFPs so the people reading her content read it to understand ENFPs probably because they have an ENFP in mind when they do, or they are ENFPs themselves in which case if the ENFP doesn't know what they want they might vote for ENFPs being their best match because of familiarity.

You mentioned other surveys conducted yielding similar results but I believe that is, like you mentioned, because of the N(f) bias online.

It's strange how I've known a lot of ENFPs but I haven't found any of them personally appealing when it comes to sexual/romantic relationships (I'm talking purely in real life and not about the wonderful ladies I have gotten to know online). I can objectively say that some of them are handsome/beautiful and kind hearted people that I expect them to be able to find love easily. Some of them though are borderline insane so... too much of a mess that I actively root for their partners to leave them for both their health...

I think people are less likely to type the people who are unattractive to them. Maybe people find that one ideal ENFP and because they don't find the qualities the love about them in other ENFPs they don't type other ENFPs correctly.


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## Flaming Bassoon (Feb 15, 2013)

I agree. I actually was reluctant to type myself as an ENFP (vs my previous typing of INFP) because I don't fit the "manic pixie dream girl" stereotype; I'm quite droll and sassy in the subtle way an introvert is, not OMG AJFDKAJFDKLAJFLKD SO RANDOM XDDDD (which is really pubescent kids, anyway).










I really relate to this, except I do not dismiss my "enemies" (I haven't had such a thing since high school), but I have been called "savage" for my sarcastic comments towards people. A lot of guys like me as a friend because of this (I'm not trying to pull some "I'm not like other girls" bullshit), but might find that intimidating or off-putting. 

I feel like a ton of ESFJs who use Ne do mistype as ENFPs frequently, as do ESFPs (due to shitty descriptions of sensors) and ENFJs who don't feel like they're cult leaders or whatever. INFPs, too.


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## Katie Tran (Apr 8, 2017)

ai.tran.75 said:


> I guess I fit the stereo type of manic pixie dream girl ( adolescent- mid twenties). I don't mean to toot my horn but I've always had guy friends imagining that they're in love with me- I'm often described as the ideal girl . Don't think I sound like an enfp though- this is why they like me
> I ask them questions that amuse them and Im curious and often intrigued by their answers ( people love talking about themselves) I'm not needy or emotional , I'm very feminine but not girly - I get ready in under 5 minutes - I'm independent and can take care of myself- I'm interested in something that nobody else beside them likes, for some odd reason I bring out the extroversion in people(even the shyest introvert are comfortable around me in real life), I have a wide range of interests.
> 
> What's even weirder is that the best friend of every guy I dated develop a crush on me- even the ones with girl friends.
> ...


Okay but how you described yourself sounds exactly like the stereotypical ENFP gal.
But yeah, it's true about ENFJs.
My mom had much more admirers than I ever did for her personality alone.
An INTP guy yesterday even said that between his ENFP and ENFJ girlfriends, it was the ENFJ he really fell head over heels for.


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## HumanBeing (May 28, 2014)

Time for me to ask something, lol. For a person whose identity is so strongly tied into their personal values, and who have the ability to adapt to a lot of environments, how do you expects to find a true character? The only seemingly reliable way to understand if someone is an ENFP (that I've found), is to get close to them, and talk to the "real" person. The image ENFP's seem to project into day-to-day life can easily hide their true feelings.


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## ai.tran.75 (Feb 26, 2014)

Alesha said:


> Ai, I feel like telling you about my dad. My dad was such a wonderful father all growing up, but I especially have sweet and wonderful memories of him playing with me when I was really young. He would push me in the swing for hours and pretend that I was kicking him over-- anything to make me laugh. Even until I was in my tweens my parents read to us. He would "fall asleep" reading and we would ask him silly questions because he was pretending to talk in his sleep and it was SO funny. He also would make up the best stories with Winnie the Ppoh, Big Bird, Bert and Ernie, Grover, Cookie Monster, Mickie Mouse and Donald duck... all our favorite characters would go walking in the forest together and have adventures! He would do every voice! Even when I was like 10-12 his stories he would make up were like finding the secret passageway into an undiscovered Egyptian boobytrapped ancient tomb and finding mummies and treasure. Best dad ever. Also, he had to take some of the emotional support role for me. My ENTJ mom is a bit unbalanced, so my cheerful dad always let me be who I was and always complimented me and always was "safe". My dad is still the one to tell me he understands me when my mom is being difficult. My dad is also very athletic (I didn't get that gene) and is like a chess master. I didn't mention his biggest talent. He can learn languages like nobody's business. He speaks 4-5 and when he travels he picks up a language for a "bit". Like I don't think he could speak Swedish well now, but after spending 2 weeks in Sweden he was speaking well with a terrific accent and he translated a letter we had from my Swedish great-grandfather. I don't think he could do that now-- but he's super quick to pick up languages. He's very physically capable-- so much so that we took it for granted. I thought he could do anything that took strength or mechanics and I hardly even thought about it. I called him to come push my car out of the mud at age 65. He built a patio with rock slabs (he had to carry them) a few years ago for my mom. He's slowing down just barely now he is 83.


Your dad sounds wonderful. Very affectionate and sweet. Yeah the feeling of safety is important. I think I mentioned in another thread that I rather have my kids trust me than fear me . Ah he played pretend with you - that must be so much fun ! I loved playing pretend as a child . It's cool how he can impersonate voice ( Se tend to do well with impressions) . Which languages does your dad speaks ? How about you ? I find language fascinating - however I took Vietnamese ( they have it as an option in my high school) 
You were raised by 2 thinking Dom- what was that like ? 
It's hard to watch our love one ages . I mentioned this before, but I love inferior fe for I find the function to be quite altruistic and in a way Ti dom have this inner childlike ( not childish ) quality to them that endears me - it's softer . 
Spatial awareness is something I'm horrid with as well . I'm also extremely clumsy . My husband is very athletic and handy . It's nice to have him fix things around the house - I have to search for online videos to learn how to fix things (smh) . 
My husband plays pretend with me and my crazy imagination- it's what made me fell for him- we were conversing I brought up something random he rolls along with it and make the scenario even more hilarious . 
With our kids- he also does whatever he can to make them laugh- faking that he's asleep and started sleeping walking like a zombie to chase them . He's very affectionate with our kids , something I didn't expect but it makes me love him even more 

I'm sorry that your father health is declining- my entp father is very fragile as well( still humorous and talkative though) 



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## ai.tran.75 (Feb 26, 2014)

HumanBeing said:


> Time for me to ask something, lol. For a person whose identity is so strongly tied into their personal values, and who have the ability to adapt to a lot of environments, how do you expects to find a true character? The only seemingly reliable way to understand if someone is an ENFP (that I've found), is to get close to them, and talk to the "real" person. The image ENFP's seem to project into day-to-day life can easily hide their true feelings.


I am my true self in every situation( I assume this is the same for other enfps as well). The Ne in me makes me interest in a lot of things hence I connect and adapt well in most situation. I don't feign my emotions- however different environments brings out different part of my personalitirs- different individual brings out different part of me. If you're observing me from afar then yes- it may be difficult to know who I am. But if you were to interact with me in any of those situation you will realize that I'm still the same person . 

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## Judson Joist (Oct 25, 2013)

Wait, so you're saying female ENFPs aren't really "*Manic Pixie Dream Grrls*?"
:tongue:
Guess that means male INTJs aren't really "*Dizty Geniuses*."
:wink:
So does that mean we get to play the role of "Manic Pixie Dream Guys" for a change?
:crazy:


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## Fennel (Jan 11, 2017)

Alesha said:


> @*Sei35* @*HumanBeing*
> I think everyone should watch this. Probably start at around 4:30 minutes in if you're on a time-crunch.


Wait whut? :shocked: What is that? Why am I being dragged into this thread? 
I'm too tired to watch a video right now... _(Says that then goes to watch Three Kingdoms, but that's kind of my religion right now.)_


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## ai.tran.75 (Feb 26, 2014)

Alassea said:


> Okay but how you described yourself sounds exactly like the stereotypical ENFP gal.
> But yeah, it's true about ENFJs.
> My mom had much more admirers than I ever did for her personality alone.
> An INTP guy yesterday even said that between his ENFP and ENFJ girlfriends, it was the ENFJ he really fell head over heels for.


Yeah Enfj are more warm - I don't think fi is warm. My mother pointed this out to me . Fi can be comforting but it doesn't scream warmth . My Enfj friend just needs to smile or look at you and the room will radiates with her welcoming presence. And she truly is the definition of perfect - not the fake perfect that annoys you - but as in wow- how can such an amazing person exist

I notice Infp/isfp ( well the ones I know) prefer fi over fe ( they tend to crush on exfp) but that's about it 


I haven't met an enfp Irl yet- but I tend to crush on enfp actors. So I understand the appeal. 

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## ai.tran.75 (Feb 26, 2014)

Judson Joist said:


> Wait, so you're saying female ENFPs aren't really "*Manic Pixie Dream Grrls*?"
> :tongue:
> Guess that means male INTJs aren't really "*Dizty Geniuses*."
> :wink:
> ...


Hahaha I've been on this forum long enough - intj are the manic pixie dream guy to enfps

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## Katie Tran (Apr 8, 2017)

HumanBeing said:


> Time for me to ask something, lol. For a person whose identity is so strongly tied into their personal values, and who have the ability to adapt to a lot of environments, how do you expects to find a true character? The only seemingly reliable way to understand if someone is an ENFP (that I've found), is to get close to them, and talk to the "real" person. The image ENFP's seem to project into day-to-day life can easily hide their true feelings.


Exactly. So my question is basically after having gotten to know those ENFPs lol!


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## Katie Tran (Apr 8, 2017)

Judson Joist said:


> Wait, so you're saying female ENFPs aren't really "*Manic Pixie Dream Grrls*?"
> :tongue:
> Guess that means male INTJs aren't really "*Dizty Geniuses*."
> :wink:
> ...


We should have a day where we switch roles to scare everyone


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## Katie Tran (Apr 8, 2017)

Update on other input:


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## Katie Tran (Apr 8, 2017)

sriracha said:


> That's my experience with ESTPs (and ENTPs as well). Except I wouldn't call it two worlds. In my view, it's called being fake. There hasn't been a lot of discussion on the ENFP x ESTP clash, but if anyone has anything to add, I'd be interested.
> 
> 
> Anyway, in response to the topic, I know a few ENFPs IRL. Some of them are just as you described: their authenticity may come off as scary to others. Some ENFPs are friendlier and more welcoming to people than others. An ENFP's curiosity can be attractive to others.
> ...


Yeah, you've been lucky with the ones you've known.
My INTP friend was talking about me and her other ENFP friend. I've also known several other ENFPs who are very quick with their tongue when someone oversteps boundaries or just flat out annoy them haha.


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## Katie Tran (Apr 8, 2017)

Update on why in INTP's experiences, we're most popular with NTs over any other :tongue:


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