# Depth and authenticity in a superficial culture?



## Stelmaria (Sep 30, 2011)

A new day, a new excuse.

"Don't worry too much about what is going on in the world".

We live superficially because that is the way it has always been.


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## hppygrl (Mar 22, 2015)

In the last 2 minutes since reading your post I made use of at least 4 resources available to me through the lottery of being in a rich country (clean water from the municipal not a well, electricity, coffee, refrigeration...). The list of consumer products that are produced by some unjust practice is enormous. What do we do when we know we are on the receiving end of all of these practices? It seems to me that it is along a continuum with maybe, buying free trade coffee on one end, and living off the grid with my own well water on the other. 

So far what I have come to accept is that feeling bad each and every day isn't the answer. 

As for what kind of person to be in a superficial culture? Well luckily the culture doesn't require us to be shitty to each other (or ourselves) every moment we are awake. So we still have a lot of control in our lives. If I stop reading superficial, trashy magazines that tell women they are never good enough, no one comes to the door to ticket or arrest me! In other words, you can ditch the superficial culture and you have your own life. Sure , the superficial people in your life may not have much in common with you, but if talking about the new and improved toothpaste was the link to them, there really wasn't much there anyways....

Here is what I ended up doing.

Step 1: find things to do that actually feel meaningful to you
Step 2: do those things
Step 3: get used to some people in your life being envious of you (you are now doing something with your life and they are confused / envious / angry)
Repeat. 
Step 4: Seek out others who are also doing something meaningful with their life (results may vary).


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## hppygrl (Mar 22, 2015)

One person's superficial is another person's comfort zone....meaning that lots of people find comfort in this current system.

I"m concerned about this struggle that a person faces when they find out their shoes and phone were made in a sweatshop (which is a moral dilemma). I don't have a prescription for that moment in a thinking person's life but I will say that I would be saddened if we had to say at the end "sigh, I wanted to live more authentically but I couldn't because of profit corp inc.'s practices". I wouldn't want all those thinkers to get stuck in their own lives because of the immorality we know to be occurring in our current institutions and systems. 

And I suspect someone else here on this forum has a much more helpful way of articulating that and can jump in because I can't articulate it very well, the need to live our lives despite what we know is going on "in the world". 



Snowy Leopard said:


> A new day, a new excuse.
> 
> "Don't worry too much about what is going on in the world".
> 
> We live superficially because that is the way it has always been.


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## Stelmaria (Sep 30, 2011)

Still trying to surf the occasional authenticity wave, while swimming in a superficial culture...


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## Ginnaynay (Jan 8, 2013)

I love this thread, we need more like it. I feel like this is what being an NF is about.

The problem is that the material world is limited, and most people never bother to look deeper at themselves than their base instincts of "secure as much as possible" to escape its limits. It's the instinct of every living creature, and is no more developed than a worm. The smartest and most base among us (intelligent psychopaths) will be consumed by this drive. As long as there is suffering in the world, there will be people who remove themselves from their human emotions, and as long as there are people who are divided from themselves like this they will always seek more material than they need. Globalization has made this worse because now those people can take from the whole world.

If we think about this for too long, we'll be sure to get depressed and angry.

My solution is to focus on what's unlimited: the feelings we can inspire in one another. If I'm with someone I love, I don't need anything else to feel happy. Nothing in the material world can satisfy me the way good conversation and and a sense of connection can. Social and personal love is the most healing thing a person can have. Since I came to this conclusion I've felt a lot more positive about the world. I don't have unlimited money to give away to those in need, but I can always lend an ear or hand and help anyone who is starting to break from themselves find their way back into fold of humanity, to help remind them of their value in simply existing as a feeling person.

Of course I don't have unlimited time or patience and can't help everyone in the world or even everyone I come across. Still, I hope that those that I do try to help will feel a little lighter, and their interactions with other people will be happier, and then those other people will also feel lighter.

I think that getting too caught up in the sad reality of the world will just makes things worse because it inspires anger. Anger has its place in helping us solve immediate problems and may be helpful if you are personally being denied basic security, but if you are angry at the existence of injustice you will always be angry. If you're always angry, you can't help spread happiness.

Once you feel that you can always find strength in your own happiness, authenticity will follow.


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

Snowy Leopard said:


> I know that many people on this forum either seek, or have a developed sense of identity and beliefs and wish to stay true to that. Many of us also seek something deeper from life, something more than the day to day struggles. Something more than that, which makes our lives worth living.
> 
> However society itself seems to be overly focused on these issues. That which is most valuable is apparently those objects with the highest price, rather than that which harmonises with our values and needs.
> The problem is that we get pulled in different directions. We may want to see a more ethically organised world. Perhaps a world more oriented towards human needs than national or corporate needs.
> ...


Great question! How to tread in a paradoxical world...

There is a sense of adapting to one's own environment. At the same time, I always value being honest. Even if it's the smallest thing I can do to combat the hypocrisy, I will.

You can start small by doing little things. Show by example, not by words, and people will follow. It's not so much about how fake one can be, but how real you can be so others start to question and introspect upon their own lives. At the same time, there is a time and place for all of the deeper issues to be said and addressed.

Actively partake on issues you feel are most ethical and valuable for you. There are also ways to give back in your own way. Giving back on a small scale contributes to the greater good, eventually.


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