# What are the best subjects to talk with SJs?



## DoNotKnown (Jul 21, 2019)

What are the best subjects to talk with SJs? I have a big problem to talk about something interesting with SJs - maybe it's because every SJ I know is only talking about daily life and it's so annoying for me.


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## Suntide (Dec 22, 2018)

Whatever their interests are. It helps a lot if we have them in common. You'll have to drudge through some small talk to find out what someone's interests are though, unless you already have a little bit of background on them. Keep in mind that SJs of different age demographics are going to have pretty different interests. A college-age SJ probably won't care about the same things as a 50 year old SJ.


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## Zeri (Jan 23, 2018)

Politics, relationships, work, family - real-life topics like those.


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## Zeri (Jan 23, 2018)

DoNotKnown said:


> What are the best subjects to talk with SJs? I have a big problem to talk about something interesting with SJs - m*aybe it's because every SJ I know is only talking about daily life and it's so annoying for me*.


May I ask what your type is? 

It's true we do talk about daily life happenings mostly, which I know can be annoying to intuitives....


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## DoNotKnown (Jul 21, 2019)

Zeri said:


> May I ask what your type is?
> 
> It's true we do talk about daily life happenings mostly, which I know can be annoying to intuitives....


I'm INxP


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## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

The S/N meeting place is application of concept.


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## jcal (Oct 31, 2013)

angelfish said:


> The S/N meeting place is application of concept.


^THIS^

Rather than trying to chat me up about your idea sitting in its own little vacuum, ask me how I would implement it. Ask me how to solve an issue you're struggling with. Your idea on its own may attract some interest on my part, but all by itself it will become quite boring to me in relatively short order. Sustained interest requires a combination of practical application, problem solving and detailed system/process tweaking.


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## Bunniculla (Jul 17, 2017)

Depends heavily on the demographics of the SJ you are talking to, as Suntide has mentioned. Somebody that is as old as a grandpa is going to have different interests than somebody as young as a college student. So while the older SJ might fit into more of the stereotypical traditional, conservative mold that a lot of people think of when they think of SJs, the younger SJ might surprise you with how different from this stereotype they are. I am not saying all older SJs are like this - I am simply providing an example. 

SJs might actually be interested in a lot of the same topics as NTs or NFs but the way they perceive the information just differs. This doesn't mean the result of talking about the same topic differs, and you could have an Intuitive that might not be interested in the same topics as you. Behavior isn't always caused by cognitive functions. 

Personally for me, I loathe the daily gossips, newspaper articles, the how tos of doing things that people think of when they talk about SJ interaction. I much prefer talking about theory, the deeper meanings of what was said, inner musings, the driving force behind actions and the possibilities that could be instead of what just is, and I am an SJ.


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## Foxyfox (Oct 21, 2016)

Money


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## Bunniculla (Jul 17, 2017)

Foxyfox said:


> Money


What about money?


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## Foxyfox (Oct 21, 2016)

Bunniculla said:


> What about money?


 lol I dunno i'm only good at making it not managing it so I couldn't elaborate.. But SJ's love talking about money *Shrugs*


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## Ziegel (Feb 11, 2019)

The sponduli.


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## Kn0wB34 (Sep 2, 2016)

Family and relatives for sure—particularly with xSFJs. In terms of the xSFJs that I've hung around, they bought up topics about their family before I even cared to ask. I just further expand the conversation about their family once they bring it up. Many of them also seem to enjoy talking about major attractions or personal experiences in their hometown.


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## orion83uk (Mar 13, 2018)

Talk to me about cars or/and computers and I'll happily blab on all day.


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## Shale (Jan 17, 2012)

Depends. Do I have to be PC or will your feelings be hurt? lol


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## Foxyfox (Oct 21, 2016)

Shale said:


> Depends. Do I have to be PC or will your feelings be hurt? lol


No eggshells here please tell lol


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## MonarK (Jul 27, 2018)

Asking about their favorite whatevers and hobbies tends to get the ball rolling.


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## Folsom (Jun 20, 2018)

I don't like small talk and I will happily talk about strange and wacky concepts, but I'm going to take a very sceptical and grounded view of said wacky thing which might make the discussion awkward for N types.


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## Shale (Jan 17, 2012)

Subjects depend on my mood at the time and who I am with. I sort of have a sick pleasure out of talking about gross things just for the shock factor ... I regret for maybe a moment, but then that's just who I am. *shrugs*


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## nblu (Aug 10, 2016)

Bunniculla said:


> SJs might actually be interested in a lot of the same topics as NTs or NFs but the way they perceive the information just differs. This doesn't mean the result of talking about the same topic differs, and you could have an Intuitive that might not be interested in the same topics as you. Behavior isn't always caused by cognitive functions.
> 
> Personally for me, I loathe the daily gossips, newspaper articles, the how tos of doing things that people think of when they talk about SJ interaction. I much prefer talking about theory, the deeper meanings of what was said, inner musings, the driving force behind actions and the possibilities that could be instead of what just is, and I am an SJ.


This is spot on for me, as a 25-year old ISFJ. 

I would add something else from an ISFJ perspective. This is about controversial topics (related to politics & morality, for example):

If I have enough background information about someone, especially if we are good friends, I feel the most comfortable to talk about controversial issues with them. I do like to explore controversial topics if I'm talking with someone whose opinion is somewhat known to me, if I know sort of what to expect. 

I believe that this stems from Fe as a secondary function, because disagreeing with someone who I am not 100% comfortable around causes me a lot of stress.

So yeah, do not ask as ISFJ (well, do not ask ME) about my opinion on some controversial issue if we've been talking for only five minutes, haha.


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