# Being stupid about feeling stupid.



## Radiant Flux (May 7, 2010)

So, In just went and for my badge thing from PersonalityPage, and I came out with an 89 N and 89 T. I know this may seem dumb, but I feel less INTP-ish knowing that, and thought about not putting it in my signature. I do this alot, with alot of different things. I'll feel inadecuate when really, I'm either not or there is nothing I can do to change it.

An example is when I was in school last year, and this girl [most likely ESTJ or ENTJ], would always get math work done faster and would always score close to or an actual 100, where as math is not my best subject so my grades would go from low 90s to high 90s, and I would be fast but not quite as fast as her. This seemed stupid to anyone with an average lower than mine, because they thought, why complain when you're already so smart? But in truth, I felt as if she was much smarter than me [the fact off her showing off didn't help], and I was a bit intimidated.

And though I value more revolutionary thinking, I still coulsn't help but feel as though she was better than me, even if she was a bit ordinary in her thinking. I still feel like she has a higher IQ than me, and this scares me a bit. I don't know which would be worse honsetly. Being smarter than every body in your school or being average, because I'm sure that she has a hard time connecting intellectually with other kids [so perhaps that's why she has this rebellious, skater girl attutide?]. I would love to go up and talk to her and discuss all sorts of intellectual things, but she seems to think that I'm odd [or perhaps it's me thinking that she thinks I'm odd], and so when ever I muster up the courage to go up to her, I end up feeling very ackward and say stupid obvious things [like, you seem very organized (deeeerrrr)].

Perhaps it's an introvert thing, or maybe I just have low self-esteem, but I seem to be very self consciece of my intelligence and I feel that it's threatened whenever someone smart comes along.

I was wondering if any of you guys do this too, and what I mean by this is, thinking that you are dumb or inadequate when you really aren't.

**sorry for the long post and I can't be bothered to correct grammatical or spelling errors as I've just woken up, so I apologize for them**


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## Knives (Jul 22, 2010)

I think you should just talk to her and get her to tell you her secrets! 

Honestly though, it does sound like you are a little bit shy, and unfortunately there isn't much I can do to help you there. I say just talk to her, what is the worst she can do? But I understand that not everyone has this mentality.

I am competitive myself, and often was that kid that raced to finish exams. However, I have learned that comparing myself to others is ultimately more detrimental than useful.


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## Shmo (Aug 17, 2010)

I'm 63/84/84/89 and I still feel 100% INTP

I think extreme proximity to 100% in any of the four letters indicates either an unbalanced personality or - more likely - that you were subconsciously fishing for your type and thus were not 100% honest.

P.S. Yes, that was rather tangential but that's what happens when you read the majority of the OP after responding.


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## zephryi (Aug 17, 2010)

I can definitely relate to the whole "feeling dumb when you aren't" thing... I tend to do fairly well in my classes and I do the whole "rush to finish a test" thing, so I'm normally the first or within the first few people done. However, I don't try in school and find my grades tend to be lower than my of my peers. It's still pretty hard for me to not to get defensive about it and start babbling about test scores...;

I'm not really sure what to say about your specific dilemma, because trying to talk to someone no matter who it is is still something I avoid... Just, I guess, try not to think about a possible intellectual gap and just talk to her about something she seems interested in, or maybe an interest you might share (I find this helps with the awkwardness thing, if the other person is interested), or just about math class... Not the greatest of advice, but just a thought.


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## Nitou (Feb 3, 2010)

This reminds me of a time when I was in college studying in the coffee shop. Some other students sat at my table when I had gotten up to get something, but my things were still there so I just returned to my seat. They were computer science students speaking this language I couldn't understand and I felt a little intimidated. Then they saw that I was studying biochem and they were the ones who said, "oooh ahhh you're smart." LOL. (I didn't tell them how much I struggled with it.)


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## Psilocin (Feb 23, 2009)

Man, that's just a low self-esteem right there.

Just chillax and do what you do. It'll come naturally and your talents will flourish. You're still a kid and growing. Don't put yourself down for not being four letters man. That's just unhealthy. It's comparing yourself to some ideal of what a kind of type is supposed to be. You're not a type. You're a person. 

Just do your best to be who YOU want to be. Don't only think "Who do I want to be?" but also "What attributes are needed to achieve this?" And don't beat yourself up about failing. That's life. Get over it. That'll teach you to either try harder next time or change your strategy.

I urge you to take some time in thinking about those two questions up there. 'Specially the first one.


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## Skum (Jun 27, 2010)

Dude. I know. Except with me it's skills...and knowledge. I'm really immature about it. 

And you know what, it _is_ really hard to disassociate from this attitude. Because when it's something that matters to you, it's like an affront to your abilities and intelligence when you can't reach a bar you've set for yourself but you see another person getting there with barely any effort. Makes you feel like an idiot. And when you try harder you feel even more foolish. 

The only positive I can see from it is that it does make you work harder. In private of course.


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## Mendelevium (Jan 16, 2010)

I can relate. Since I rarely have the work ethic to study or do my homework properly, my scores are low to average and I get rather defensive when some people ask me why I do badly in school when I am so smart. I had an IQ test once, too, and only got 110, which, quite honestly, disturbed me because I thought my score should be much higher so I could live up to the genius status with which I am stuck. 

I think the drive for concise answers in NT's have something to do with it. Because I relate most with INTP, I must be 100 percent INTP or I might be...say, an INFP or an ENTP. I have to be a 5 because I might be a 9 or a 4 otherwise. I must have an exorbitant IQ score or I am not smart. Although I question the very premise if the systems I use, I still strive to fit in it.


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## Tad Cooper (Apr 10, 2010)

I was really bad about being called stupid for ages because my friend kept beating me in exams and saying I was stupid (I think he's an ExTP, haha). Now I dont feel too bad about it because I've proven to myself I can do pretty well if I apply myself and stop messing around (got really good results in my end of college exams and got into university!) 
You just need a confidence boost and to remember not to work for anyone but yourself. If you work to do better than others you'll always feel dissapointed because there's always someone better than you out there. I was really pleased with my results even though my sister did way better than me, but I was happy for her rather than being jealous or resentful. It's a much nicer feeling than I used to have, so maybe try that? (It's really freaking hard to stop comparing yourself but yeah).


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## Immemorial (May 16, 2010)

Yeah, I think of myself as being average at best to be honest.

I feel quite self-conscious about even the fact that the temperament title is 'The Intellects' when I feel as if I have the intellectual capacity of a lamppost.

Being on a forum full of intelligent people doesn't exactly help that insecurity! :laughing:


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## uplander (Aug 16, 2010)

I wonder if it's just an NT thing to be more aware of "what you don't know" than say SJ's who will seize the controls gladly irrespective and often quite oblivious to the possibility that they don't know what the hell they're doing?


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## Knives (Jul 22, 2010)

uplander said:


> I wonder if it's just an NT thing to be more aware of "what you don't know" than say SJ's who will seize the controls gladly irrespective and often quite oblivious to the possibility that they don't know what the hell they're doing?


I hate to stereotype anyone, but I will make an abstract statement.

Perhaps SJs are more likely to punish someone for what they don't know, while NTs are more likely to reward someone for what the do know.


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## alionsroar (Jun 5, 2010)

So this example is from a long time ago when I was in primary school. Everyone had to write something good about everyone else on sheets of paper which were passed around with people's names on them. When I saw my sheet, except for the teacher's comment about 'being a good listener', I saw every single one of the other comments said that how smart I was. I felt like crap. It was as though the only thing of value in me was being smart and without that I was nothing. Well that was wrong since I was more than just 'the smartest one'.

It's a good thing that you didn't get 100%NT. That would mean that you never use your sensing or feeling functions.

I think a lot of smartness comes from experience - knowledge only gets you so far. In the long term smarter people who never do anything with their knowledge don't have any advantage over less smart people who apply themselves more.

I think a lot of people don't know what they're doing but they don't use that as a reason to not do stuff. They just wing it and hope they don't stuff up, and if they do stuff up they learn from their mistakes if they are smart.


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## Tad Cooper (Apr 10, 2010)

pc3000 said:


> So this example is from a long time ago when I was in primary school. Everyone had to write something good about everyone else on sheets of paper which were passed around with people's names on them. When I saw my sheet, except for the teacher's comment about 'being a good listener', I saw every single one of the other comments said that how smart I was. I felt like crap. It was as though the only thing of value in me was being smart and without that I was nothing. Well that was wrong since I was more than just 'the smartest one'.
> 
> It's a good thing that you didn't get 100%NT. That would mean that you never use your sensing or feeling functions.
> 
> ...


Very good! I agree. If you can learn from your mistakes you show a higher level of thinking!


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## nothingnew (Aug 8, 2010)

To me, it is a balancing act, similar to a scale. I know five people I can think of at the moment that are self-made millionaires. That is the 'smart' I currently value and wish to foster within myself. Every one of them is very good at what they do, but their profession is often the only area they are really 'smart' in. They may not be good with people, know how to survive when camping, be able to swim, etc.; the list is endless. Life is what you make it, and you become good or smart at what you practice. Just because this girl is better at one thing than you, you likely are superior in many subjects to her. There is no reason to feel stupid. I think of it as being less knowledgeable on a subject than another.


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## Filo (Aug 11, 2010)

School is an S paradise. It's mostly about regurgitation, and precision. That gets you to a nice office drone position, but to make a difference, creativity is needed. I wasn't very good in elementary or high school, quite the contrary. It took grad school to really have to independence to Do My Thing and shine. I know for a fact I do a lot better than a lot of the peope who beat me in high school.


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## The Proof (Aug 5, 2009)

why exactly do you care? what have you got to prove?


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## Mendelevium (Jan 16, 2010)

The Proof said:


> why exactly do you care? what have you got to prove?


_That_ is exactly what pisses me off.


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## Tad Cooper (Apr 10, 2010)

Mendelevium said:


> _That_ is exactly what pisses me off.


Just wondering, why?

Oh and I agree that school is for S', all my S friends did so much better than me and then when we went to college me and my N sister did better, was kind of odd.


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## Psilocin (Feb 23, 2009)

tine said:


> Just wondering, why?
> 
> Oh and I agree that school is for S', all my S friends did so much better than me and then when we went to college me and my N sister did better, was kind of odd.


High-five for blanket statements found in anecdotal evidence!

You N's are so crazy.








(Btw, made a 1.0 GPA in high school. Didn't give a fuck enough about college to go longer than a few weeks.)


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## dagnytaggart (Jun 6, 2010)

I also score 89% N and 89% T... and as much as I hate to fall right into the stereotype, brilliance (which I define as intelligence AND creativity) is the #1 trait I covet. 

However, I've come to find that those who are successful in academics, etc aren't necessarily inherently brilliant. They've either got their tricks, have connections, or they put a lot more effort into studies at home than you do or might imagine.

So if you're getting 92% in math...but you're only skimming the textbook for 10 minutes before an exam, you are in effect more intelligent than the ESTJ getting 99% if she's studied 5 hours.

Rate of return...with higher baseline intelligence, one can exert a high "rate of return" (aka high grade) with only minimal effort. If you study one hour extra, you might already attain that 99%.

And then any studying after that will yield a diminishing marginal rate of return...or even negative ones, if you're straining your brain too much. :wink:

If I sound high, it's because I am. Drinkking two 5-Hour Energy Shots will NOT yield 10 hours of energy...timing determines the marginal rate of return for each shot sipped.


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## Mendelevium (Jan 16, 2010)

God said:


> I also score 89% N and 89% T... and as much as I hate to fall right into the stereotype, brilliance (which I define as intelligence AND creativity) is the #1 trait I covet.
> 
> However, I've come to find that those who are successful in academics, etc aren't necessarily inherently brilliant. They've either got their tricks, have connections, or they put a lot more effort into studies at home than you do or might imagine.
> 
> ...



Agreed. I found that out the hard way. Five shots of expresso will not energize me the whole day; it will only make me extremely hyper for an hour or two, especially since I have a low tolerance level for caffeine. The effects are simply not worth the rebound. 

As for the earlier question, I am better at manipulating/extrapolating from systems than single-handedly creating them. I cannot create my own social code and shun the other ones, simply because it would be very difficult for me to do so with considerable assistance. Very much in the way that I possess no personality of my own, only pieces of other ones.


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## TeeKwug (Jun 18, 2010)

Well I'm not an intellectual since I'm a feeler. Afterall, according to the name of this forum, you have to be an NT to be a part of the intellect clubhouse.[/blatantsarcasm] Nonetheless I will add my input! There are multiple intelligences. Verbal/Linguistics, visual spacial, emotional, etc. You're not going to be the king of all intelligences and you also won't fail at them all either. Thus you are probably more intelligent, and less intelligent, than that girl simultaneously. Another point I would like to make is that success comes when you are studying a topic of interest, or it does in my experience. I've been average throughout school (Bs and such). However, the moment I took a psychology class, I excelled more than I knew I was capable. I had a 100 overall average and even went as far as reading the entire textbook in my spare time. College will provide you with the opportunity to find your true intelligence as you study what you are interested in.

Also, as a sidenote: I used to be certain I was INTP. A little more research seemed to convince me otherwise. I was uncomfortable with the realization at the time but in reality, it is silly to hold pride in being a certain type. The MBTI DOES NOT measure aptitude, but rather preference of behavior and those percentages are only measuring the strength of your preference. No type/level of preference is better than another.

I hope these points will help with your self esteem. I know what it is like from experience.


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