# Why is depression more common than anger?



## sweetraglansweater (Jul 31, 2015)

Rydark said:


>


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

sweetraglansweater said:


> stupidbabygif.jpg


None of this in my anger thread.


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## TheProphetLaLa (Aug 18, 2014)

Anger is rare? I'm really surprised by the amount of people who think this. Anger and sadness are both very common emotions. They're both included in every list of basic human emotions I've seen.


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

TheProphetLaLa said:


> Anger is rare? I'm really surprised by the amount of people who think this. Anger and sadness are both very common emotions. They're both included in every list of basic human emotions I've seen.


I'm catching up to you in posts. Never would have thought that would be possible. lol


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## TheProphetLaLa (Aug 18, 2014)

Agni of Wands said:


> I'm catching up to you in posts. Never would have thought that would be possible. lol


Its starting to become time for me to slowly fade away from this site. I can feel it coming on.


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## JacksonHeights (Nov 6, 2015)

Depression don't get you into prison, anger does. I've done some things when I was angry that I probably wouldve been arrested for if I was over 18. My anger comes in short bursts but they're really intense, like for five minutes I want to punch everyone around me in the face and flip every bed I see


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## Fumetsu (Oct 7, 2015)

TheProphetLaLa[I said:


> [/I];23864138]Anger is rare?


This _is_ the Internet, where anger and outrage is the default. We are probably just used to it that we fail to notice it once we return to the real world.


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## Evolvenda (Aug 10, 2015)

sweetraglansweater said:


>


Fine! But remember the 2.5 sec rule!


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## MisterPerfect (Nov 20, 2015)

Agni of Wands said:


> Anger seems far less disabling and a much more potent motivator than a sadness response. The successful seem to respond in anger more often than sadness. It almost seems like a little healthily cultivated hatred would be constructive to a lot of peoples' lives. Righteous anger, self affirming... Why is this response _rare_?


Anger is danger. Some people take things inward which create sadness and self loathing. Anger is when you take that and direct it outward.

Anger: My girlfriend dumped me I will stab her to death 
Sadness: My girlfriend dumped me I going to go wallow in self pity(Also a lot of times sadness disables your ability to act. Its must safer than Anger) 

A lot of people who get dumped say stuff like "I going to kill myself" but they often dont and seriously if you are that depressed about a break up you might just not even have the motivation to go through with it. So depression is far less dangerous. Furry is blind, depression is disabling.


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## MisterPerfect (Nov 20, 2015)

Rydark said:


> Fine! But remember the 2.5 sec rule!


LOL, What is this baby doing?


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## Monsieur Melancholy (Nov 16, 2012)

Depression has been described as anger turned inward.

I'd say from personal experience the reason is that the world around you doesn't tolerate anger the way it does depression. It's a world that very much wants you to keep your stuff to yourself and expressing anger can often impose on or disturb the rights of others. I personally don't express anger toward others very often at all and if I do it's very passive-aggressive. I keep most of my emotions locked up inside my walls and I think much of society does that just to keep peace. In some ways I also think it's a more mature and sophisticated behaviour to bite the bullet and turn things inward than it is to fly off the handle at others. That's showing respect. Not saying that it's healthy to bottle things up but sometimes I do it just to maintain harmony.


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

Then what do phrases like "success will be the best revenge" come from?


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

Agni of Wands said:


> Anger seems far less disabling and a much more potent motivator than a sadness response. The successful seem to respond in anger more often than sadness. It almost seems like a little healthily cultivated hatred would be constructive to a lot of peoples' lives. Righteous anger, self affirming... Why is this response _rare_?


Because ppl don't feel in control so helplessness combined with inner rage morphs into depression and burnout.

Getting angry and expressing it has negative consequences which can worsen an already bad situation. For example getting mad at your boss when he manipulates you into overtime and then doesn't pay for it can be hazardous in the situation where if you lose your job you are most likely not to find a better one, such as today's economy.

So feeling helpless you'd suck it up and accept the situation which is least bad, but in the process you die a little inside every time. Such situations are not good for anyone's self esteem / level of confidence, something which is needed if one desires to do anything with one's life.

Same could be applied to being stuck in a bad marriage, abusive relationships etc...

With that said, imo its still our responsibility to make the decision and depression is the wrong decision, because the situation which leads to depression is always the one which narrows your list of choices, hence the helplessness part. Whats worse, getting fired and the potential of not bouncing back short term or surefire suicide long term if you don't manage to spend the cash you earn at the job towards a shrink and medz?

The Japanese for example even have a catch phrase for this learned helplessness: "Shikata nai" aka "It can't be helped.. " and look at how screwed up Japanese society is. Getting really mad is some kind of tabu there.


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## Miniblini (Jun 4, 2014)

Monsieur Melancholy said:


> Depression has been described as anger turned inward.
> 
> I'd say from personal experience the reason is that the world around you doesn't tolerate anger the way it does depression. It's a world that very much wants you to keep your stuff to yourself and expressing anger can often impose on or disturb the rights of others. I personally don't express anger toward others very often at all and if I do it's very passive-aggressive. I keep most of my emotions locked up inside my walls and I think much of society does that just to keep peace. In some ways I also think it's a more mature and sophisticated behaviour to bite the bullet and turn things inward than it is to fly off the handle at others. That's showing respect. Not saying that it's healthy to bottle things up but sometimes I do it just to maintain harmony.


I agree with your statement about depression being "anger turned inward." In the same vein I feel that Anger can also be symptom/sign of depression, since depression can take many forms. *BUT* it can be debated that Depression can be just as stigmatizing as Anger (maybe more in some places, though that is not to say Anger isn't worse in some ways either). 

Like, For the longest time in America, and even worldwide mental illness was considered a joke. I think it is only recently ( 10-20 years maybe? I don't have exact numbers, just relaying the info remembered) that Depression was considered a viable disability to receive SSI. Even then, people with physical impairments often have priority and receive more money, probably based on the fact that physical impairment is something you see.

Though times are changing in regards to acceptance, I still see people with a relatively low opinion of Depression. A few years ago I went to a hospital to finally get help, and it wasn't uncommon for people to relay their stories about how their families disapproved of them getting help, shunned them, and in rare cases outright disownment (though I have only heard the latter from stories). Their reasoning? 
"Mental illness isn't real"
"It couldn't possibly happen to our family because we are better than other people!"
"You're just faking (or trying to get attention)"
"you are an embarrassment to the family." (This last one came up a lot surprisingly. Disgusting, right?).

Anger in a way is socially more acceptable (in milder forms), because often times people just assume you're an ass or have an attitude problem. They don't usually associate excessive aggression as mental illness. In extreme cases ( Like when it escalates to criminal behavior) then I would agree that Anger is WAY more socially unacceptable (especially if you get caught).

So, I guess what I am trying to say that depression is usually more socially unacceptable whereas Anger is more... polarized(?). Or maybe it's like comparing Apples to Pineapples :tongue:


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## Pangelicus (Mar 26, 2015)

I think it stems from how you take it. If you resist or reject some situation, and are ready to act until it changes, that can lead you along healthy motivations, to anger at the extreme.

If you accept a situation, perhaps thinking you can't change it, or there is no point in trying, you may become saddened, all way to depression at the other extreme.

I agree with other posters, that anger - when it is directed at other people - provokes an instant response, so tends to get stymied. Whereas depression is non-threatening, so people don't react strongly to it, and are more willing to not care, or think it is the person's own fault (as a way of easily disposing of the idea).

But there is also the systematisation of society, to a point where people get ingrained with the idea of conforming and succumbing to whatever society demands of them. It begins with pre-school - play with the prescribed toys, don't have tantrums (to many supervisors, tantrums indicate an emotional "problem", rather than indicating a situation that needs to be changed). Then you go to school, and you have to sit in a chair for 6 or 7 hours a day. Not too much talking, everybody concentrate, no excessive emotions like happiness or energy. Everybody do as they are told. After about 12 years of that at a formative age, people are numb to it and thoroughly conditioned. The instincts for acting to change their situation have been mostly suppressed out of existence.


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## telepariah (Jun 20, 2011)

To add to @Rydark's excellent post, I would also note that the amygdala is not a conscious part of the brain. It is not capable of rational thought. It only reacts to perceived threats. As such, the amygdala does not know or care about the difference between waking and dreaming, or truth and lies. When we have experienced trauma and then remember it, we surely don't remember it with 100% accuracy, but the amygdala could really not give a fuck. It's job is to protect and it does this by enabling that hyper-focus while also creating the other necessary chemical environment to see the crisis through. THe problem with anger in our daily lives is that the things that trigger the limbic response are usually not actual threats, just events that remind us of a past experience that is not even a true event in our memory in the first place. 

So, how do we short circuit the limbic response? I've learned directed exercises in a form of meditation that consists of rewriting the stories of our past in our brains so that there are alternative neural pathways we can follow to prevent the amygdala from taking over and controlling our behavior without our conscious direction and maintaining control in the prefrontal cortex, where we have astounding powers of forethought, prediction, and conscious control over our behavior. The awareness of my limbic response is just the first step towards regaining control over my reactions and the exercises grow stronger the more I use them, so I can deal more effectively with the stress that threatens to drive me to anger. It still happens, but I do notice that there are times when it doesn't and I can build on those experiences to create more alternative responses in my brain.


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## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

Agni of Wands said:


> Anger seems far less disabling and a much more potent motivator than a sadness response. The successful seem to respond in anger more often than sadness. It almost seems like a little healthily cultivated hatred would be constructive to a lot of peoples' lives. Righteous anger, self affirming... Why is this response _rare_?


Who said depression can't exist alongside anger? In fact, depression often leads to irritability, which in turn often leads to anger. 

Do you even know what depression is?


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

Death Precedes said:


> Do you even know what depression is?


It is what I feel after you talk to me like I'm stupid. ;~;


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## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

Agni of Wands said:


> It is what I feel after you talk to me like I'm stupid. ;~;


You don't know, then...


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Agni of Wands said:


> Anger seems far less disabling and a much more potent motivator than a sadness response. The successful seem to respond in anger more often than sadness. It almost seems like a little healthily cultivated hatred would be constructive to a lot of peoples' lives. Righteous anger, self affirming... Why is this response _rare_?


Some people drive their demons outwards in anger, others drive them inwards in depression. We're conditioned to not make a big deal about our own problems.


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## Westy365 (Jun 21, 2012)

Depression is often anger turn inwards. If someone doesn't want to do something they'll regret towards someone else, or doesn't wish to cause disharmony in others, then they won't take it out on anyone. 

Depression can have several causes, but it is common for it to stem from anger turned to grief and resentment. When anger is bottled up and never let out, it "ferments" into depression.


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

Death Precedes said:


> You don't know, then...


Comically Missing the Point - TV Tropes


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## koalaroo (Nov 25, 2011)

Depression is an affective state. Sadness is an emotion. These things are not synonymous.

That said, anger is also an emotion.


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## SevSevens (Aug 5, 2015)

First we fail to mourn. We fail to be vulnerable and cry. when our tears of sadness freeze we become spiteful, regretful, hateful.

When the hate builds it turns to anger.

Once one experiences the consequences of unleashing anger, one goes inwards, and it turns to depression.

We are depressed because we were born to serve and then die.


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## Hero of Freedom (Nov 23, 2014)

flummoxed said:


> Tell that to all the people in prison for violent crimes.
> 
> Anger isn't a good driving force though, it blinds you against logic. That makes you less productive, not more productive.


Not really. I've once went after someone out of anger to a point of "inhuman" for a month to months and finally when I got him the taste of vengeance was so sweet. I felt very elevated like nothing I've ever felt before. Once you get the opportunity for payback and the anger is on the feeling is very elevated/sweet. It can be kept inside for motivation and you are willing to do nearly every single thing for payback, you become so desperate sometimes that you are willing to learn some new skills to do it. If you keep it and go get payback and it lasts for awhile they also will not suspect you coming.


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## flummoxed (Jun 29, 2015)

Dawn of the Light said:


> Not really. I've once went after someone out of anger to a point of "inhuman" for a month to months and finally when I got him the taste of vengeance was so sweet. I felt very elevated like nothing I've ever felt before.


You don't sound like a very good person if this is true.


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## Hero of Freedom (Nov 23, 2014)

flummoxed said:


> You don't sound like a very good person if this is true.


I am fair to those who are fair but unfair/cruel to those who are unfair/cruel. Its called an eye for an eye. The person who I got vengeance on once, was a horrible person that did a couple of horrible things to my friend(s).


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

Agni of Wands said:


> Anger seems far less disabling and a much more potent motivator than a sadness response. The successful seem to respond in anger more often than sadness. It almost seems like a little healthily cultivated hatred would be constructive to a lot of peoples' lives. Righteous anger, self affirming... Why is this response _rare_?


two words: learned helplessness


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## koalaroo (Nov 25, 2011)

Dawn of the Light said:


> I am fair to those who are fair but unfair/cruel to those who are unfair/cruel. Its called an eye for an eye. The person who I got vengeance on once, was a horrible person that did a couple of horrible things to my friend(s).


That doesn't make you a good person, for what it's worth.

"Eye for an eye" is a pretty shitty code of justice.


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## dragthewaters (Feb 9, 2013)

Because you're not allowed to be angry in modern society.


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## 95134hks (Dec 20, 2015)

Agni of Wands said:


> Anger seems far less disabling and a much more potent motivator than a sadness response. The successful seem to respond in anger more often than sadness. It almost seems like a little healthily cultivated hatred would be constructive to a lot of peoples' lives. Righteous anger, self affirming... Why is this response _rare_?


I suspect it all depends on whom you hang around with.

I had some work colleagues who used to make me angry all the time with their politics, incompetence, demands, and mistakes.

Since cutting them out of my life the anger frequency has gone away.

People who make you angry should not be a part of your life.

But also people who make you depressed also should not be a part of it.

You need to filter things out of your life so that you can keep an even keel.

And if you are stuck in a relationship that you cannot change, like parent-child or child-parent, you need to endure that until emancipation (that's when the child gets to leave home).

I never realized what a terrible parent my mom was until I finally left home. It was good riddance.


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## 95134hks (Dec 20, 2015)

dragthewaters said:


> Because you're not allowed to be angry in modern society.


Well anger is certainly not encouraged nor often tolerated. But it still happens, it only becomes more quietly expressed.

But you can still get very angry. Nothing has changed about that.


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## 95134hks (Dec 20, 2015)

Dawn of the Light said:


> I am fair to those who are fair but unfair/cruel to those who are unfair/cruel. Its called an eye for an eye. The person who I got vengeance on once, was a horrible person that did a couple of horrible things to my friend(s).


That's actually called "borderline personality disorder."

Normal people do not strike back, normal people practice avoidance.


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## dragthewaters (Feb 9, 2013)

95134hks said:


> Well anger is certainly not encouraged nor often tolerated. But it still happens, it only becomes more quietly expressed.
> 
> But you can still get very angry. Nothing has changed about that.


No you can't. Most people automatically turn against you and refuse to listen once you get angry at them, even if your anger is justified.

For example, a couple of weeks ago, I had to call customer service for my phone company because they charged me 5x for my monthly phone bill and still claimed it hadn't been paid. The dude refused to help and hung up on me because I was angry. They charged me like $150 and they were going to cut off my service for an unpaid bill anyway, why would I NOT be pissed off?

Technically you can be arrested just for expressing anger (disorderly conduct). That never used to be the case until the last few decades.




95134hks said:


> That's actually called "borderline personality disorder."





95134hks said:


> Normal people do not strike back, normal people practice avoidance.




See, this is exactly what I'm talking about. Throughout most of human history and even today in most countries, it would not be the case that someone can fuck your shit up and you would just be expected to let it go. This is a modern, Western notion because of our cultural fear of anger.

You also know nothing about borderline personality disorder, so don't pretend like you do.


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## 95134hks (Dec 20, 2015)

dragthewaters said:


> No you can't. Most people automatically turn against you and refuse to listen once you get angry at them, even if your anger is justified.
> 
> For example, a couple of weeks ago, I had to call customer service for my phone company because they charged me 5x for my monthly phone bill and still claimed it hadn't been paid. The dude refused to help and hung up on me because I was angry. They charged me like $150 and they were going to cut off my service for an unpaid bill anyway, why would I NOT be pissed off?
> 
> ...


Dawn of the Light has BPD no doubt in my mind.

To so casually brag about revenge is BPD.

So unless you want to get on the ignore list don't be telling me what to say or do.

I know your parents talk to you like that but you are not a parent and this is not your house.

I already feel sorry for your kids.


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## Hero of Freedom (Nov 23, 2014)

95134hks said:


> That's actually called "borderline personality disorder."
> 
> Normal people do not strike back, normal people practice avoidance.


It depends on what is done to you. If it's an argument then it's normally avoidance but if it's an action that hurts then avoiding is a sign of weakness. Justice must be delivered. All the people I know when they are really hurt they seek revenge. It's cowardice to give in to your enemy.


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## 95134hks (Dec 20, 2015)

Dawn of the Light said:


> It depends on what is done to you. If it's an argument then it's normally avoidance but if it's an action that hurts then avoiding is a sign of weakness. Justice must be delivered.


It does NOT depend on what is done to you.

You are BPD.


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## Hero of Freedom (Nov 23, 2014)

95134hks said:


> It does NOT depend on what is done to you.
> 
> You are BPD.


It is weak and cowardice to not strike back. They will just get out and do it again. Every single person I know when wronged/hurt majorly want revenge. Howcome wars often start then by "normal" people who want to strike back like WWI and WWII? Gang wars also happen in the name of revenge. If someone murders one of the don's people he would pay to have the person "whacked". Some people do have it, if you don't take revenge you let them get away with what they have done.






Sometimes dictators get killed in revolutions out of revenge.


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## 95134hks (Dec 20, 2015)

Dawn of the Light said:


> It is weak and cowardice to not strike back. They will just get out and do it again. Every single person I know when wronged/hurt majorly want revenge. Howcome wars often start then by "normal" people who want to strike back like WWI and WWII? Gang wars also happen in the name of revenge. If someone murders one of the don's people he would pay to have the person "whacked". Some people do have it, if you don't take revenge you let them get away with what they have done.


You are just piling up more evidence that you are BPD.

What you absolutely need to do is explain these feelings to a counselor (MD or PhD) and get professional advice.

Nothing you have said so far is true it is only a manifestation of the psychosis.

The danger of BPD is that you will mis-perceive all sorts of imagined offenses and you will lash out against them.

It's not just that you have an inability to forgive, you have an inability to perceive correctly.

Get the counseling.

I'm putting you on the ignore list in the meantime because BPD's are awful people in public especially on internet website.

Don't bother to reply because there will be no audience from me.


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## Hero of Freedom (Nov 23, 2014)

95134hks said:


> You are just piling up more evidence that you are BPD.
> 
> What you absolutely need to do is explain these feelings to a counselor (MD or PhD) and get professional advice.
> 
> ...


Actually its been proven I don't, just "anger management". So why don't you go call every single person who wants revenge "BPD"? Because its happens everyday. Are the mobster leaders all "BPD" by your definition since they would put alot of effort in tracking you down if you "wronged" them? Are all people who start wars for payback "BPD"? Are all people who want social justice in which the group gets payback "BPD"? "All revenge is BPD" in your eyes, you don't even know me irl so. Stop thinking you are a god who knows every single thing.

Actually I don't "misperceive" I look at the proof first and what has occurred, and determine/calculate the damage/loss done.

Never get feeling of "self-hate" but plenty of self-love. Which is why I hate being trod on. Well go ahead and "ignore" because you are just proving your arrogance if you do so and everyone will see.

*Ignoring all the cases and example in history that occur because people strike back.

*Ignore the fact that everybody striked back in the early 1900s and all the years in history before. Some people fighting to death even.

*Ignoring today's examples of people striking back. Third world terrorists wanting revenge on the U.S for taking their oil.

*Ignore the fact all the people I met desire revenge behind their enemy's backs and sometimes ask me for help.

All humans desire eye for an eye given enough hurt is done and the chance. Also revenge is possibly a survival instinct to eliminate someone who is a potential threat to society in humans. One person kills some other person you love, or steals your stuff. Think about it, if you got payback you would neutralize them from doing harm to others.

In the school I went to all cases of conflict where a person is harmed tended to turn into a punch-out where all watched until somebody was down.


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