# NFs - Do you fit in with your Society and Culture?



## jasonm (May 24, 2010)

As we don’t really live in ideal NF friendly societies and cultures, I’m curious how well NFs feel you fit in. 

What are some of the challenges you’ve faced?

If you do fit in, have you always?

If you don’t fit in, have you ever? And do you feel you can?


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## Paradigm (Feb 16, 2010)

jasonm said:


> As we don’t really live in ideal NF friendly societies and cultures, I’m curious how well NFs feel you fit in.
> 
> What are some of the challenges you’ve faced?


-Mostly skeptism from other people. I tend to get more idealistic and more "flights of fancy" than the others I know, so they're always trying to keep me more realistic. It's not a good thing.
-Being lazy/unmotivated. My parents were always, "You should work harder!" And then they ignored the fact while I didn't care enough to be top of my class, I always managed to pass.
-People not understanding how I can be ambivalent on most things (Fi-dom). And then not understanding how I can be completely random at random times or see things differently than most (Ne poking its head out). And then not getting that I really do have strong feelings, I just don't like showing them (more Fi-dom).
-Right now I'm having trouble with watching violent movies, more than I did a couple years ago. Making that transition is confusing for those who go, "But you didn't mind it before!"



> If you do fit in, have you always?


Not really. Apparently my personality is too "out there" for people. I think, for peers, it's the not being expressive... Most of the female population is expected to be. And I don't conform to social norms, so that makes people go "...Ehhh..." around me. Plus, I don't know how to do small talk and I'm generally socially awkward as it is, so that doesn't help.



> If you don’t fit in, have you ever? And do you feel you can?


No. In school, I barely had any friends. I guess by now I don't really expect to, so it's fine by me. I'd like to find a couple of people to hang out with fairly regularly (for an introvert/for me, "fairly regularly" is probably like once or twice a week), but no luck so far. To me, having good, close friends is more important than fitting in.


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## Nasmoe (Nov 11, 2009)

I don't really fit in with my culture. Most people would call me odd simply based on the music I listen to. Plus there's a lot of sensors around me and they just don't understand my way of thinking. Also I'm around a lot of cynical people, so they don't seem to trust me often, like my feelings on some things don't seem genuine to them. I've never fit in. I've always been a loner and kept to myself. I used to be bolder about myself, but that changed over the years.


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## Closet Extrovert (Mar 11, 2009)

Society doesn't get my point of view.
I'm comfortable with how I present myself, but there's very few people around me that are comfortable with how I present myself. I prefer being real. It seems like most people wouldn't dare to be real, for fear of rejection. Maybe that's why people aren't comfortable around me. 
All I want to do is just show people that there's nothing wrong with being 'real'. That other people's opinions don't count as much as everyone thinks they do.
Lately, I've been wanting outlets as to how I'm really feeling...because I can't be sunny and happy all the time. But as always, most people wouldn't understand that. Right now, I want my surroundings (meaning my room) to reflect how I'm feeling. The closest I've gotten to this, is putting pictures on my wall (which I'm actually not supposed to do according to my dad) and listening to music, but now I need something more solid and permanent. So it does get difficult sometimes, and I can't just sweep it under the carpet and hope that it'll go away like people would expect me to.


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## rowingineden (Jun 23, 2010)

I'm queer in both gender and sexuality, I have punky red hair, I dress hippie-anachronistically, I'm an atheist, a feminist, a vegetarian, and a liberal, and I live in Alabama. So by my math, that adds up to never, ever fitting in at all.


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## OmarFW (Apr 8, 2010)

to put it shortly. no.

i fit in with my group of friends. that's about it. And even then, I don't assimilate into that group seamlessly, I simply play a unique role that most people cant and I am accepted because of it.


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## sleeping while awake (Dec 30, 2009)

Really the only place I feel comfortable at times is with my family, in otherwords the ones I grew up with. Hence they know Im a wierdo and I know a lot of their nuances that make them odd. Along with maybe some confided secrets. My closest family has a guardian, artisan, and a rational all under one roof and somehow we all naturally and before I found out about this sort of made our own groups. The artisan with the guardian and the rational with the idealist normally even though at any random moment that would suddenly changed and there would be an argument.
Outside of family I have a couple of friends that are kind of like orbiting comets that they are close somewhat on some days but can be lost rather easily for a long time or forever. Except for my bff who I dont care what type she is but she definitely understands my oddities and why I absolutely love that girl. roud: 
Im a bundle of conflicting thoughts so I dont know for sure if I want to fit in society. But there's a chance that it could happen for all I know. Maybe Infps will take over the world! Ahhh wishful thinking...:crazy:


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## Atenza Coltheart (Apr 19, 2010)

No, I do not fit in with my Society and Culture, nor do I try to fit in.


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## The Proof (Aug 5, 2009)

jasonm said:


> As we don’t really live in ideal NF friendly societies and cultures, I’m curious how well NFs feel you fit in.
> 
> What are some of the challenges you’ve faced?
> 
> ...


I stopped being an idealist, things have been great ever since


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## scarygirl (Aug 12, 2010)

jasonm said:


> As we don’t really live in ideal NF friendly societies and cultures, I’m curious how well NFs feel you fit in.
> 
> What are some of the challenges you’ve faced?
> 
> ...


I fit horribly.
My parents hate me, they don't really get me, my school fellow students say I'm crazy, and now I'm not bullied, but have been for a long time of high school. Boys used to beat me and insult me with anything, even stole my things because I had OCD, too, and that made it very funny to people.
They must think it's funny spending 2 hours to get dressed.

But, besides from all the anger i could have, I'm very happy. I hate this society, which is the point I wanted to make, and would never want to fit, unless they were great people. This SJ world is sick to me, and although this is not an opinion I can usually voice, I hate SJs. They're gormless, and heartless.

The challenges I've faced are mainly my sexuality (I'm bisexual and not just that, but I have an affair right now with a man older than me), my introversion and my "darkness", and my mental illness.
People say I had a hard life. Well, some people do.

I want to define myself as a biting bitch towards everyone. But really I'm peaceful. I'm just angry at some things. That is.


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## scarygirl (Aug 12, 2010)

rowingineden said:


> I'm queer in both gender and sexuality, I have punky red hair, I dress hippie-anachronistically, I'm an atheist, a feminist, a vegetarian, and a liberal, and I live in Alabama. So by my math, that adds up to never, ever fitting in at all.


All hail the great people.
I'm queer too, I have pink streaks, I dress...strangely, I'm a believer but more new age than anything to people, and totally dissaproving of Church and its things many times, attempting to be vegan (FAMILY is my problem), and an anarchist in many of my views, when not all of them. Well, all of them.
And I'm an artist that draws very dark things at times, like gore scenarios of witchcraft and those things. Well, now I don't, but people never liked my art.


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## OmarFW (Apr 8, 2010)

Haplea The Mighty said:


> I stopped being an idealist, things have been great ever since


This pretty much applies to me too. I realized that my projected imagination and idealism doesn't have to apply to my entire life.

I haven't abandoned my internal values at all, but I definitely have a hard stance against emotion irrationality. And I still have the ability to apply my idealism to relationships, which is arguably the only place it belongs.

but overall, I have been a much more stable person


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## spook (Dec 16, 2009)

Hell no. Not outgoing, confident, driven/proactive or "down to earth" enough. I don't think I'm more unique than anyone else though, I'm just kind of invisible lol.


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## Blueguardian (Aug 22, 2009)

I do not fit with society or culture all that well. At a shallow glance though, I don't appear to be as different as I really am. This has helped me slip by unnoticed many times, even giving the impression of, "down to Earth."

I have never fully fit in, though I did more so when I was a lot younger: like 7 and under. I don't think I could fit in even if I tried ...not that I really want to. I enjoy being myself far too much to ever want to be something else simply to fit in.

I suppose the bigger challenges I have faced are; the in-acceptance of my true self while the same people are preaching about how "real" they are, double standards, not being picked at all for group projects in school, probably a few failed job interviews, and the lack of people I can find real potential connections with.


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## Tuttle (Oct 30, 2009)

I'm conventional in many ways, so yes, I do fit in with my society and culture. I'm not quite as conservative as most of my peers (I'm a libertarian in a mostly Republican county) but since I keep my politics to myself, I've found that hasn't been a hindrance to developing and maintaining friendships. 

Oddly, I feel the most out of place with other INFPs.


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## nikkigargin (Apr 25, 2010)

i like this question alot, and i can answer it from two angles, my lovely Ne always can 

Firstly, is yes i do. i can fit in with most people on a very shallow level, if it looks like it, talks like it and acts like it, then surely it is right?? no. no its not. i could have a chat with the scum of the earth and relate to them, i could also chat with miss to posh to push, and relate to her. this is on a very shallow level and eventualy we realise we are not alike.

Now, on a more personal level eg friends and relationships i rarely meet people who see things how i do, react to things like i do, let alone understand it. im more of a principle person, i will get angery over the principle, not the action it self, and then people get angery over things that i just dont see the big deal.

Ive always had a group of close mates in which i was very accepted and appreaciated, with the rest of the place thinking i was a dick lol but it never bothered me, as i didnt want to be accepted by them anyways.

So no, i dont fit it really, but those who get close to me soon realise they are not going to meet someone like me easily and accept me how i am, and those people i will give them my all, but everyone else?? not interested.


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## OmarFW (Apr 8, 2010)

lbrb said:


> Oddly, I feel the most out of place with other INFPs.


I don't feel so out of place as I do like I just don't want to be in that place. I get so sick of my own behavior that I don't want to be around more of it from other people like me.


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## Etchingsunderthecarpet (Dec 21, 2009)

this is a great topic-- kind of lifts me up a little. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this awful pressure. I tried when I was younger to fit in because, as a child, being myself proved to be so painful that it was ingrained in every fabric of my mind to conform. This led to horrible angst and a few years ago I've been slowly trying to row my courage to be myself in a very unaccepting world.

I hate the strange looks people give you when they are threatened by something different. I can be a bit bitter.


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## sarek (May 20, 2010)

When I was twenty something I described myself as a one person minority, and that is basically what I have always been.
I have met quite a few 'like-minded' or 'compatible' people who have become friends but never in real life anyone just like myself.

I can fit in and function if I try hard enough, although surviving in this harsh and cold competitive world is a daily struggle. Almost no one understands that pain though.

But underneath I feel less and less a member of this weird species. I sometimes see documentaries about Chimpanzee groups and that makes me reflect that we may be intellectually evolved but we have achieved very little in the moral sense.

Often when I promote my ideas of a world with greater equality, people in general are highly disapproving or even hostile toward the thought. As if people in trouble owe all their hardships to themselves. 

I find that others try to fit me into a nice little box that they can understand. By their mode of outdated thinking I must be socialist because only socialists say that kind of thing. If that is true I could make a case for Jesus being a socialist too!


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## Jwing24 (Aug 2, 2010)

I can appear to fit in at times, in short spurts. But I never really feel like I fit into the society or culture around me. I can't say that I believe I will feel I fit in later on in life either. I just can't see it happening.


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