# SJ's, what do you think of NF's ?



## rawrmosher (Apr 22, 2013)

I guess this question has been a long time in the making >.< half my family and a fair number of my friends( and even an ex ) have been SJ's, so I guess my question is what do you think us as friends or family members, or what do you think we contribute to society?

I've found my SJ friends appreciate my caring side, but my slightly different side, not so much


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## StaceofBass (Jul 1, 2012)

This will be an interesting read. Subscribing now... xD


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## Hollow Man (Aug 12, 2011)

Hmmm...as a whole, I have no idea. I may have a couple NF friends...as a matter of fact, I type my good friend as an INFP. It kind of sucks to work with him because I feel bad when we slack off and talk. Otherwise, he lightens things up and does seem to listen really well. I feel relaxed around him and we talk about deep stuff and have a lot of similar interests. He seems placid a lot of the time. He's definitely one of my best friends. I find him to be naive sometimes though...I think he wants to do all these things, but he never really has any specific plans...it grates on me sometimes to be honest(I don't usually tell him directly). He thinks I am paranoid...I say I'm realistic...it's a good relationship though...:crazy:

Another person I really like is an ENFP. She's really fun too in a loud kind of way...she's often vulgar and has an extreme style with her clothes and green colored hair. However, I find her endearing, and I wish I had such conviction and audacity at times. She likes a lot of cool bands and has great taste in things too. Her cooking skills make me feel like a novice and uninspired....she goes all out with ingredients and when she was with my roomie, she often wouldn't start dinner until 10 pm or later...I never have the paitence to wait for it, but she offered me some every time. And it was always awesome! I am not as close with her as the INFP....so I'll not make any negative judgments.

I may have another friend who's an enfj...oh the dominant Fe...He's always asking if everyone is OK, and I feel he really likes to know that everyone's OK or else he will not be. He's very intelligent and driven for his dreams too! He's so expressive and opinionated, it's really charming and inspiring. Often, I am not too good at the hypothetical situations which are his favorite to ask about, and this guy will talk about theories and opinions on things at large for over an hour....very easily...He's a very balanced person too. He thinks I stay in too much, and "need to get out there more". Which is true! 

I don't know if I know any INFJs for sure...I guess I am skeptical everytime I hear someone say he or she are an INFJ...

I think NFP and NFJ are pretty different...


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## dawilliams (May 15, 2012)

Read Keirsey's book. It will blow your mind. 

In short, SJs and NFs get along because they both like to be cooperative. SPs and NTs are both uncooperative (haha) and also get along well (have you ever noticed that much of Hollywood romance, when not playing to the incestuous SP on SP romance, tends to be between SPs and NTs? I find it very irritating.)

However, this "slightly different side" of yours? That's your N. Keirsey posits that the S/N dichotomy divides the world into people we can communicate with fluently, and people with whom learning a second language is required. N and S are like two different languages, and we will always come across with an accent when we are trying to speak the one not native to our own.

Of course, it helps if you grow up with parents or siblings who speak a different language--or not. My husband is an INTJ and his mom was an ISTJ (just that one letter difference!) and their relationship growing up was bitter and full of anger, perceived wounds, and bone-deep resentment. They're always addressing the same thing, but in antipodal ways! It's better now, but it still takes a lot of work for both of them.

Keirsey's research has found that the most successful marriages occur between SJs and SPs, or NFs and NTs. Any other pairing has a greater risk of failure. Moreover, he finds that the ideal match is when the other two letters also compliment one another. So, you and I--ENFPs (awesomeness)--our ideal compliment would be the brooding, grounded INTJ. I married one of those (before I knew about the theory) and I highly recommend it. He's so stable and strong--I can be my crazy, overshook-champagne self around him and he loves it.


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## Pinion (Jul 31, 2013)

I talk to an INFP a lot. He's always being delicate with me when I'm in no way offended or fazed. It's a little irritating.


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## Shale (Jan 17, 2012)

I've only had one solid experience with an NF and that's because he is my son. (I have a thread about him asking advice on how to be a more effective parent with him, so no need to repeat everything there.) My sweet ball of sunshine lives with three ISJs, so I do my best to provide an environment and give him opportunities that fit his own personality. I can always rely on him for affection and hugs. Honestly, as he gets older I don't think this will ever change. He feels my feelings, and that can be a good or a bad thing. Otherwise the main problem with him is his low level of impulse control. I want him to be himself, but he also HAS to learn certain behaviors in order to deal with society ... otherwise he'll be in trouble in school everyday for talking or messing around. It's also difficult for me to understand his way of thinking, so at this point I don't even try to understand ... I'll ask him a couple of questions, but it always seems so far out in the left field. 

I'm not too certain I could be "friends" with certain NF types because overall they are too idealistic for my liking. I live in reality, and I would rather be productively accomplishing my goals rather than dreaming (or whining) about what I could do.


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## gintariukeas (Feb 8, 2013)

Idealistics, who dont care about facts. Proves, research results? Who needs them.

If we exclude that exess idealization of theirs, they'd become my ideal. Oh well. I admire them anyways, they are cute and charming.


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## earthtopaige (May 12, 2013)

I think NF's are absolutely great in my opinion. I have quite a few NF friends actually, and they bring me out of my "stuck in the now" and make me theorize a bit more. Although, I'm not a big fan of NFP's, more NFJ's. My INFP friend is a little too messy and unorganized for my taste and I swear it's like this giant rainbow threw up on her haha. One of my best friends is an INFJ and it's really awesome, because we both have this sense of caring for others. (I guess that's Fe that I relate to with her.) Anyway, NF's are really fun and optimistic people, and whenever I'm looking for a good time, I definitely know I need to call them up.


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## Xenograft (Jul 1, 2013)

I'm currently dating one and it's an incredibly eye opening.


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

I don't mind the healthy ones.


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## Lady Mary (Aug 7, 2012)

*I tend to love NFs! I share their idealism actually, and I admire their passion.
They say SJs normally date\marry SPs, but I'm usually drawn toward NF men, especially INFx! *:tongue:


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## CPK (Sep 12, 2013)

I guess I'm kinda out of place replying here, but for what it's worth...

I'm an INFP and I was raised in a family of seven different types. My parents are ISTJ and ISFJ. All five children are xxxP.

I get on really well with them both but I honestly think I must frustrate the hell out of them. They love to help me but I just resist them as soon as I think of a "better" plan. Their plan is always perfect though - they're SJs. In a lot of ways, I feel as if they didn't leave me enough room to be myself and let me decide what I wanted to see from my life. That's left me with a little resentment towards them, unfortunately...

My Grandma is an ESFJ (I think) and, interestingly, I'm one of her favourites.


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## Adrift (Apr 5, 2011)

I'm thinking of that line in "As Good as it Gets":

receptionist: How do you write an NF so well? 
Melvin: You think of an ST and you take away reason and accountability.

no offense intended, btw


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## Jaime91 (Jul 16, 2013)

I absolutely love NFs, I dont really like the rigidness of SJs much which is kind of ironic. My two favorite personality types are enfps & infps. I guess it's because I've always felt like they got be better than anyone else. It's like they understood where I came from. I'm not sure if NFs could say that same about SJs, or ESFJs for that matter. I think it's because I have a well developed N, if that makes any sense.
Hope this helped

xo


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## Aenye (Jul 13, 2013)

'If I were you, I'd kill myself' 

'You're all soft and whiny' (though I almost never cry and rarely complain)

- my xSFJ mother


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## Curlyy_friess (Apr 16, 2013)

As an ENFP, I find I get along with SJ's. My favorite types are IxxJ's because they really help to balance me out, and their normally so grounded and notice things that I don't. I have a few ISxJ friends, and I really like them too.


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## chimeric (Oct 15, 2011)

eve91 said:


> I absolutely love NFs, I dont really like the rigidness of SJs much which is kind of ironic. My two favorite personality types are enfps & infps. I guess it's because I've always felt like they got be better than anyone else. It's like they understood where I came from. I'm not sure if NFs could say that same about SJs, or ESFJs for that matter. I think it's because I have a well developed N, if that makes any sense.


My experience with ESFJs has been feeling deeply cared for, treasured, and taken care of, but sometimes patronized/stifled (which I know has been unintentional on their parts). I think there is a lot that ENFPs can learn/gain from close, positive relationships with ESFJs; I know this has been the case for me. Being around an ESFJ, I often have this snuggly "nothing can go wrong" feeling, because I know they care, are loyal, and are stable/practical. A common problem for ENFPs is a need for constant reassurance that they're loved (from people they care about). ESFJs are great at providing that.

At their worst, ESFJs can be pretty bossy, condescending, and closed-minded. Since ENFPs value freedom and often have unconventional ideas/lifestyles, that can be an area of contention.


[There are a couple ESFJs who have touched my life deeply who I have immense love and respect for. That's probably evident in everything I've said.]


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## rawrmosher (Apr 22, 2013)

ESFJ's are awesome too <3 my twin brother is one and he's awesome, really clever and an incredibly nice guy too. he can be a little TOO controlling but it's always obvious he means well, and he's really good to his friends. He's a great guy =)


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## Das Brechen (Nov 26, 2011)

I'll pass on the NF population as a whole, thanks.


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## Shale (Jan 17, 2012)

I don't think an NF should ever be in a position of power or leadership unless they have enough S/T balance. I have direct experience of an NF gone rogue, who made a decision out of her own personal embarrassment and didn't think about the repercussion of her action (instead of making a decision based on policy or written protocol.) She wanted to be everyone's friend, but in positions of leadership you cannot worry yourself with making everyone happy, especially in matters of injustice. She has been a prime example of the instability of emotional decision making.


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