# I'm about to cheat on my girlfriend



## Hruberen (Jan 2, 2012)

Ignoring everyone I went ahead and cheated on her with my ex girlfriend.

I didn't feel awful like I thought I would. I just felt this inexplicable pull to do it, even though I thought it was going to hurt.

That being said I have absolutely no reason to ever do it again. Completely forgettable and a waste of time, along with being unfaithful.

It really made me appreciate my girlfriend and made me remember why were dating in the first place.


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## BlackDog (Jan 6, 2012)

Hruberen said:


> Ignoring everyone I went ahead and cheated on her with my ex girlfriend.
> 
> I didn't feel awful like I thought I would. I just felt this inexplicable pull to do it, even though I thought it was going to hurt.
> 
> ...


Now you try to salvage your integrity by telling your girlfriend immediately. Accept whatever the consequences may be.


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

Hruberen said:


> Ignoring everyone I went ahead and cheated on her with my ex girlfriend.
> 
> It really made me appreciate my girlfriend and made me remember why were dating in the first place.


She'll find out. That's how life works. Then she'll go have sex with someone better looking than you who might just make more money too 

I wouldn't feel too good about "why you're dating" as it won't probably last long and will likely end in an ugly way. If you had to cheat to figure out that you appreciate her she'll probably feel it and realize that she doesn't appreciate you either.

You're a douchebag :kitteh:


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## Night & Day (Jul 17, 2010)

Well I'm glad you feel better now, Mr.Cheater.


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## Yuugi (May 13, 2014)

BREAK THE FUCK UP WITH HER. If you're even THINKING if cheating, then there's something wrong with the relationship you're in.


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## Kyora (Mar 17, 2013)

Hruberen said:


> Ignoring everyone I went ahead and cheated on her with my ex girlfriend.
> 
> I didn't feel awful like I thought I would. I just felt this inexplicable pull to do it, even though I thought it was going to hurt.
> 
> ...


Ok you really are not nice, are you even sure you deserve her? 
I was cheated on two years ago, I had to break up since I don't believe a cheater that cheated once won't cheat twice. I still can't forget it and now have troubles with relationships as I do not want to trust men anymore! You will be doing just the same to that poor girl. ARe you even a 9w8? Don't you have some senses? And are you really a sx that is lost in his lovers? I can't see that!

I don't like judging people but I can't help on this one, I'm ashamed....


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

tanstaafl28 said:


> Go for it. Perhaps once you've made a mess of things and have to live with the consequences, you'll give greater consideration to what it means to have integrity


I couldn't help but smile at the sweet ironic truth within these lines.

Karma, thou art a bitch. 

Enjoy it and the mess you've degraded yourself into :mellow:


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Erbse said:


> I couldn't help but smile at the sweet ironic truth within these lines.
> 
> Karma, thou art a bitch.
> 
> Enjoy it and the mess you've degraded yourself into :mellow:



Aw shucks.:blushed:


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## Magnus von Grapple (May 8, 2014)

Pretty despicable, OP. I hope she finds out so that she is hurt, and through her pain I hope you will learn something. 

What you did was wrong, stupid, and selfish.


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## Blueseph (May 29, 2014)

Bazinga187 said:


> I think she does deserve better. I think cheating is selfish. I think cheating purely for sex is even more selfish. He's thinking very intently about cheating on her. No, he hasn't actually done it yet, but equally if I knew that my boyfriend had thought that hard about the pros and cons of cheating on me, I'd think that I deserved better. "I didn't cheat on you even though I really wanted to!" isn't good enough.


I understand that, and I don't blame you for viewing it this way, however he did not come on this forum looking for help just to be ridiculed by people. If he wanted that, he could have simply asked his friends or people close to him. Can you not see the good in what he is trying to do? At least he is trying to be loyal, and that's more then I can say for most guys I know. This does not make it right or justify it in any manor, that's not my point. My point is focusing on the bad is not why he came here calling for help.




Hruberen said:


> Ignoring everyone I went ahead and cheated on her with my ex girlfriend.
> 
> I didn't feel awful like I thought I would. I just felt this inexplicable pull to do it, even though I thought it was going to hurt.
> 
> ...


I'm extremely disappointed to hear this. What will stop you in another 6 - 12 months? Will you need another "wake up call"? If you think this was morally alright, I suggest you re-evaluate your morals my friend. In any case, why would you post that you did that here? Were you expecting everyone to back lash at you for doing this? Have you simply made this whole case up just to get some attention from people? It all seems a bit fishy to me..


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## Sixty Nein (Feb 13, 2011)

At least you learned something from all of this?

Whatever the fuck it is.

@Kyora

baby 9s can be assholes, just flat-out mean spirited individuals. Like I had a few people outright call me a sociopath because I saw an opportunity to make light of someone's plight via a joke, and I have issues empathizing with other people.

On the other hand I don't really consider cheating to be that big of a deal. Like you fucked someone else? So what? I mean I'd rather be with a cheater than someone who is a national socialist.


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## Kyora (Mar 17, 2013)

@_Necrophilous_

Well I know that 9's can be assholes but I just don't understand why someone would be that cruel :/ You might not know the big deal I made out of it, but I value relationships. For me if you are in a relationship, you care about that person. And if you care about that person, you're not trying to hurt them, you're trying to please them so that they are happy. Because if they are happy, you can also be happy. That's how I view it. 
But here, he says he values his girlfriend, yet cheated on her with his ex-girlfriend. If he really valued if girlfriend, wouldn't he had better talk to her? Try to tell her how he feels? Isn't a relationship based on loyalty, mutual trust, friendship and love? Or am I just a stupid girl trying to find beauty in this world? For me, realtionships are like a bond, and what he did was break it. That's how I view it.
I wouldn't choose between a cheater and a national socialist. I wouldn't want to choose between two types of people I don't like. I would prefer being forever alone. 
I went out with a cheater, and that left a scar deep in my heart, I refused men to approach me, them touching me, them loving me. That's because, my ex broke the trust I had in him. Broke my heart by cheating, lying and making a fool out of me trying to lie to my face. And now that boy did that to his girlfriend, even if she's a bitch or unhealthy or whatever, she could be deeply hurt and that takes time to heal, once she will know, and she will trust me. The longer he hides it, the worst it will be for her, as she will start thinking about all the time he could have done it, what she could have done to avoid it, what is not good about her. 
I know some people are mean, bad and everything, but fuck it, I used to trust everyone. I used to trust that people were genuinely good. And I miss that, that's my scar. And his girlfriend might just not care or might, in the end be completely broken. 

SO If you want to cheat, just break up nicely or talk but don't act on it without thinking that it is only your problem. IT IS NOT

And I know this post is too sentimental, too stupid too self centered, but you know what, I don't care... Just don't take it personally Necrophilous, it's just my view on this subject. Just a biased and subjective view of a pissed off 9


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## BlackDog (Jan 6, 2012)

@Necrophilous 

Cheating is less about sex and more about trust. I have zero respect for OP because he has no honour and has proven himself to be disloyal. That is the ultimate sin in my book. 

Don't people have the right to decide what kind of relationship they are in? What if OP's ex girlfriend (who he just slept with) has chlamydia - or worse - and now he is going to pass it on to his girlfriend. What is she going to think? Is that fair? OP entered into a relationship with her and either implicitly or explicitly stated that he did not want to sleep with anyone else. Why should he lie? There are plenty of people out there who would be fine with an open relationship. OP is being selfish and greedy.

I got a little carried away with this post, but people like him piss me off. I mean, have a shred of self respect or even just respect for your girlfriend. Go sleep with hookers for all I care, just don't let somebody think you're being monogamous if you're not. Its really not that hard.


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## changos (Nov 21, 2011)

Hruberen said:


> I'm torn up and constantly thinking about cheating on my girlfriend. Ideally I would just be with her, but that's not possible for a long while. So now i'm left with the options to wait for her to become available again, or cheat on her and hope she doesn't find out, and in all honesty she probably won't.
> 
> In support of waiting there is:
> -Not being a cheater
> ...


Why are you with her? your reasons seem... unrelated to... anything, let her be. I would say the same if you were a woman and this: why not staying single, there are plenty women (as men) who are open to share time, sex etc with no attachments. *Otherwise why getting into a relationship? you know the terms*.


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## Brian1 (May 7, 2011)

Masturbate until you do see her again. It might not be the perfect sexual release, but at least you'll have a clean conscience, that you didn't cheat on her with another woman. 

People say break up with her,just because you break up with someone, doesn't mean two days later you'll find an exciting woman who will want a one night stand or a relationship like _9 and 1/2 Weeks_ ,you already have an advantage by being in a relationship. Wait the drought out, then reap the rewards later. Unless of course there's a pattern of not being sexually fulfilled by your partner, then it might be better to break up with her, and go hunting.


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## Surreal Snake (Nov 17, 2009)

have fun


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## Shadows10Girl (Aug 11, 2013)

If you wanted to cheat you would of done it by now. Don't just cheat for the sole reason of cheating. Cheating is not a get out of jail free card and you don't just risk hurting your girlfriend but the person you do it with. Just wank. U.U


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## BlackDog (Jan 6, 2012)

Shadows10Girl said:


> *If you wanted to cheat you would of done it by now.* Don't just cheat for the sole reason of cheating. Cheating is not a get out of jail free card and you don't just risk hurting your girlfriend but the person you do it with. Just wank. U.U


He did.


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## koalaroo (Nov 25, 2011)

If there was a pictorial dictionary somewhere, "scumbag" would have your picture by the entry, OP.


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## Shadows10Girl (Aug 11, 2013)

BlackDog said:


> He did.


... wait. So he starts a thread asking for advice on cheating. Then ignores all the advice. Post it back onto here. And anyone who has some mediocre sort of intelligence would know it would lead to internet beats.
I mean, why? Like okay, cheating. I get it. Scumbag. Whatever. But then posts it onto here, that just baffles me.


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## BlackDog (Jan 6, 2012)

Shadows10Girl said:


> ... wait. So he starts a thread asking for advice on cheating. Then ignores all the advice. Post it back onto here. And anyone who has some mediocre sort of intelligence would know it would lead to internet beats.
> I mean, why? Like okay, cheating. I get it. Scumbag. Whatever. But then posts it onto here, that just baffles me.


I'm not sure what his problem is. Getting caught up in the moment, or getting drunk and cheating then regretting it - bad, but okay it happens. Premeditating the act, asking for advice and being told what a douche it would make you, then doing it anyway and saying you don't even feel bad/guilty?

I agree, something is amiss. He comes off as immature or an attention whore. Maybe both. Either way, he is selfish and dishonest. I sincerely hope he at least has the balls to tell the poor girl.


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## Shadows10Girl (Aug 11, 2013)

BlackDog said:


> I'm not sure what his problem is. Getting caught up in the moment, or getting drunk and cheating then regretting it - bad, but okay it happens. Premeditating the act, asking for advice and being told what a douche it would make you, then doing it anyway and saying you don't even feel bad/guilty?
> 
> I agree, something is amiss. He comes off as immature or an attention whore. Maybe both. Either way, he is selfish and dishonest. I sincerely hope he at least has the balls to tell the poor girl.


It's people like this that confuse me. I'm sorry but I'm not sure what OP was trying to achieve by starting this thread, getting caught in the moment is one thing, planning it is another.


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## FakeLefty (Aug 19, 2013)

BlackDog said:


> I sincerely hope he at least has the balls to tell the poor girl.


He doesn't.


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## Lemxn (Aug 17, 2013)

> I'm torn up and constantly thinking about cheating on my girlfriend





> Ignoring everyone I went ahead and cheated on her with my ex girlfriend.





> *It really made me appreciate my girlfriend and made me remember why were dating in the first place.*


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)




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## MissyMaroon (Feb 24, 2010)

I don't think having sex with someone else while you're in a relationship is the worst thing you can do, by yourself or someone else. It's the breach of trust that's bad. You should have discussed this with your girlfriend before doing anything. Maybe she would have allowed it. You didn't, so you're in the wrong here. I hope you tell her soon. People cheat. It happens. We're human. I'm not going to demonize someone for following their biology, but do listen to your conscience, too, and be fair to this girl at least once and tell her what happened and how you feel now. The rest is up to her... Don't count on the relationship lasting, but at least you'll have owned up to it.


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## Hruberen (Jan 2, 2012)

Yes I am all the things BlackDog listed: Selfish, Immature, dishonest, and an attention whore.

I started this thread because I was torn up on the inside as to what I should do. I ignored everyone because my best friend was supporting me and it felt like i've walked too far down the road to cheating to turn back.

I agree that cheating isn't the worst thing that you can do to someone but its pretty high up there. If I could have gained the knowledge that I got from the act without committing it, then I wouldn't have done it. But I valued the knowledge too much. I also agree that the right thing to do would have been to discuss it with her beforehand and potentially break up, and to tell her now that i've done it, but I don't see how that helps anyone.


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## cosmia (Jan 9, 2011)

Hruberen said:


> ....and to tell her now that i've done it, but I don't see how that helps anyone.


You don't see how that helps anyone?

She has the right to know the truth about your relationship and she has the right to decide herself if she wants to break up with you or not. By not telling her, you're depriving her of that choice, and essentially saying you know what's best for her and the relationship.


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## Magnus von Grapple (May 8, 2014)

Necrophilous said:


> On the other hand I don't really consider cheating to be that big of a deal. Like you fucked someone else? So what? I mean I'd rather be with a cheater than someone who is a national socialist.


And that's fine. But if you enter a relationship with another person and the expectation is that the relationship will be monogamous, that is how it should be. It's called respect.

OP broke that trust and, if she finds out, possibly her heart.



Hruberen said:


> I also agree that the right thing to do would have been to discuss it with her beforehand and potentially break up, and to tell her now that i've done it, but I don't see how that helps anyone.


Had she cheated on you secretly, would you want to know? Do you believe keeping secrets is conducive to a healthy and open relationship?

Perhaps you have already answered that for us.


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## Hruberen (Jan 2, 2012)

At this point in the relationship I would not want to know if she cheated on me, normally I would so I could have the choice of breaking up with her or not, but right now it would not alter my decision in any way. I believe everyone has their secrets that they will never tell anyone, and some of them have happy relationships, I don't think it would help, but it doesn't hurt all that much either.

As of right now it doesn't effect her, and she won't find out of her own accord. So by telling her all I do is hurt her and force her to make a very difficult decision, and risk breaking up with her.


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## FakeLefty (Aug 19, 2013)

Hruberen said:


> As of right now it doesn't effect her, and she won't find out of her own accord. So by telling her all I do is hurt her and force her to make a very difficult decision, and risk breaking up with her.


If you actually cared about her you would have never cheated in the first place.


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## cosmia (Jan 9, 2011)

Hruberen said:


> At this point in the relationship I would not want to know if she cheated on me, normally I would so I could have the choice of breaking up with her or not, but right now it would not alter my decision in any way. I believe everyone has their secrets that they will never tell anyone, and some of them have happy relationships, I don't think it would help, but it doesn't hurt all that much either.
> 
> As of right now it doesn't effect her, and she won't find out of her own accord. So by telling her all I do is hurt her and force her to make a very difficult decision, and risk breaking up with her.


Oh my god lol you are acting so gross right now. 

*It does affect her.* You are misleading her. When you both entered the relationship, there was the understanding that it was monogamous. You broke that contract and you are forcing her to stay in the relationship while she falsely believes that this contract is still being upheld.

You're going to hurt her. If not in this situation, it will be something else, because you obviously have little regard for her emotions, time, or agency. Things end. Things hurt. It happens. You're acting like a coward.


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## Night & Day (Jul 17, 2010)

Hruberen said:


> As of right now it doesn't effect her, and she won't find out of her own accord. So by telling her all I do is hurt her and force her to make a very difficult decision, and risk breaking up with her.





FakeLefty said:


> If you actually cared about her you would have never cheated in the first place.


^^^ This. All this says is that, what you truly care about right now is yourself. Honestly, you don't care if she would be hurt when she finds out, it's just that you don't want to face the consequences of your actions, and YOU don't want to feel hurt. All I feel for you is shame.


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## Magnus von Grapple (May 8, 2014)

Hruberen said:


> As of right now it doesn't effect her, and she won't find out of her own accord. So by telling her all I do is hurt her and force her to make a very difficult decision, and *risk breaking up with her*.


Time to man up and stop being so selfish. Do you not see the problem here? You are still focusing on how telling her will affect YOU; do you even care about her well-being?

Obviously she will be upset. Yes, you run the risk of breaking up with her. That is the point. Frankly I hope she does, because she deserves much better. By telling her, you can at least salvage whatever semblance of your self-respect remains. 

How unfortunate. But perhaps we simply hold different standards of morality.


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## Kyora (Mar 17, 2013)

Hruberen said:


> At this point in the relationship I would not want to know if she cheated on me, normally I would so I could have the choice of breaking up with her or not, but right now it would not alter my decision in any way. *I believe everyone has their secrets* that they will never tell anyone, and some of them have* happy relationships,* I don't think it would help, but it doesn't hurt all that much either.
> 
> As of right now it *doesn't effect her*, and she won't find out of her own accord. So by telling her all I do is hurt her and force her to make a very difficult decision, and risk breaking up with her.


Ok, use your brain dear. Ok so everyone has their secrets, yes of course everyone has, but they shouldn't keep them from their lover... Shouldn't your lover be more than a body? Shouldn't you be able to talk to them about your flaws and everything? 
I sincerely believe that a relationship can only work if you treat the other like you would like to be treated, and that love is also based on trust and the knowledge of the other. You should be able to tell all your dirty secrets to her if you really love her because you know that the other will be able to help you and be there for you. 
Happy relationships? based on lies? Yeah right, it seems they have a happy relationship but just remembr when the truth will come out, they will be broken, because they have a lack of communication and TRUST.

OK have you read my posts? it doesn't affect her??? BULLSHIT, you liar, you don't even use your brain or your heart. You unhealthy stupid guy. You fucked it up. It will affect her you're just too stupid to see it. And sorry for telling for once what I really want to tell.


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## Reluctanine (May 11, 2014)

Hruberen said:


> At this point in the relationship I would not want to know if she cheated on me, normally I would so I could have the choice of breaking up with her or not, but right now it would not alter my decision in any way. I believe everyone has their secrets that they will never tell anyone, and some of them have happy relationships, I don't think it would help, but it doesn't hurt all that much either.
> 
> As of right now it doesn't effect her, and she won't find out of her own accord. So by telling her all I do is hurt her and force her to make a very difficult decision, and risk breaking up with her.


She's going to find out. Or if she doesn't, you're going to be burdened with the anxiety that she will find out. This will leak out into the dynamics of your relationship as you worry over it. And you are worried over it, otherwise you wouldn't be talking to a bunch of internet strangers and reading all of our opinions.

And you're also going to wonder every day for the rest of your life if she's ever cheated on you or if she will cheat on you and you were just too blind to see the signs. I mean, if she can't sense that you cheated, you might have the same blind spot yourself, right?

I feel sorry for her, wasting her time on someone so self-centered as you. If you have any shred of decency in you, please tell her because she deserves to be happy. Do you feel that knot in your stomach? That's your self-respect and self-esteem twisting itself up. You'll never be rid of it until you tell her. That's why you're acting so defensively here and trying to reason your way through this. But that twisted ugliness inside will never go away. Please stop denying both you and her the truth!


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## Dashing (Sep 19, 2011)

dickhole


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## Boomerang (Apr 3, 2013)

This is the OP


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## Agelastos (Jun 1, 2014)

Have some fucking self-discipline, man! Are you a slave to your baser urges? If so, you're pathetic!


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## eulersline (Dec 27, 2013)

Why?


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## Polemic (May 22, 2013)

Fuck op. 


Break up with her. Don't tell her that you are a cheating piece of shit, you're only going to hurt her and leave scars. You're not a stand up guy, but you can at least end this relationship without hurting her more. 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk


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## wyldstyle (Feb 21, 2014)

Polemic said:


> Fuck op.
> 
> 
> Break up with her. Don't tell her that you are a cheating piece of shit, you're only going to hurt her and leave scars. You're not a stand up guy, but you can at least end this relationship without hurting her more.
> ...


The hottie Polemic has said it perfectly. Yep, you already instinctively know the relationship is doomed. Just let it go.

Telling her that you cheated doesn't do anything but hurt her. You wouldn't have cheated if you really believed there was a future. Once you know this you need to let her go, and not be selfish about keeping her for yourself.

Plus, do you have something against masturbation? I hear the flashlights work phenomenally well as simulating things. And, yeah, I know it is not the same, but pleasure is still pleasure and you can still enjoy yourself without a woman.


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## koalaroo (Nov 25, 2011)

OP, you're a pretty despicable human being. Break up with her now because you don't respect her one iota. Anyone deserves better than what you've done to her.


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## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

I feel bad for the girlfriend.


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## StaceofBass (Jul 1, 2012)

Hruberen said:


> As of right now it doesn't effect her, and she won't find out of her own accord.


That's what my ex thought too. Do not underestimate her.


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## Night & Day (Jul 17, 2010)

@*Hruberen *You know what? You're such a low life. You lied to your ex to have sex with her and now you're lying to your current GF to have sex with her in the future. Don't fucking have children if you're going to be constantly cheating because you're going to be a horrible father. You already are a horrible BF.


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## 67536 (Nov 9, 2013)

Hruberen said:


> At this point in the relationship I would not want to know if she cheated on me, normally I would so I could have the choice of breaking up with her or not, but right now it would not alter my decision in any way. I believe everyone has their secrets that they will never tell anyone, and some of them have happy relationships, I don't think it would help, but it doesn't hurt all that much either.
> 
> As of right now it doesn't effect her, and she won't find out of her own accord. So by telling her all I do is hurt her and force her to make a very difficult decision, and risk breaking up with her.


You broke up with her when you cheated on her. You already made the decision. 
"Huh? But she still doesn't know. I do and I have all the power and control. I can do whatever I want and have no consequences."

Go live a lie. Be selfish. You're already being hurtful whether she knows it or not. You feel proud? 

I really hope it eats at you. 

Being unfaithful is wrong for me, so maybe I see it so harshly. But I really feel like you should too. You chose to be with someone else. Are you really with her? How is that honest at all? How do you continue on? Ignore, forget, meh whatever it just was that. Having such a nonchalant attitude about such a matter doesn't express healthiness. I want to betray someone just for the heck of it? Maybe be true to yourself and true to her verbally, and get out of it, and learn to love someone properly and faithfully because you care, have respect, and are a better person.


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## Bat (Jul 21, 2012)

Hruberen said:


> As of right now it doesn't effect her, and she won't find out of her own accord.


Or so you hope. Of course, there's always the possibility your ex-girlfriend might decide to have a little chat with your girlfriend, or that you get a call explaining how you've been exposed to an STD, or that you get served with papers informing you that you're expected to pay $xxx.xx per month in child support.

What did you say to your ex-girlfriend, by the way? Was she aware this was just a hook-up for old times' sake or was she under the impression it was something more?


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## Devrim (Jan 26, 2013)

I don't think I even need your reasoning to tell you this:

-If you cheat on her,
You've proven yourself to be a weak,
Weak,
Weak human being,
It's alright to have the thoughts,
But to actually begin to throw the plans into action,
Just because you want to satisfy the most primal need is....
I can't say the words so I'll put this smiley ''.

If you're going to fuck someone else,
Be a big boy and break it off,
She deserves to know,
She deserves to have a choice,
She deserves not to have your dick inside of her,
When you've fucked someone else,
And although you may have tested,
You're still putting your partner at risk,
Which is SELFISH.

There's not more to say on the matter,
Your reasoning isn't good enough to cheat, 
It never is,
And if she is cheating,
Then be the better guy and be honest,
Otherwise you'll be JUST as bad as her(If she is even cheating at all),
Though people tend to worry their partner is cheating when they see the trait in themselves,
So I'd be careful to check if you're just projecting your own needs onto her.


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## LostFavor (Aug 18, 2011)

Hruberen said:


> Yes I am all the things BlackDog listed: Selfish, Immature, dishonest, and an attention whore.
> 
> I started this thread because I was torn up on the inside as to what I should do. I ignored everyone because my best friend was supporting me and it felt like i've walked too far down the road to cheating to turn back.
> 
> I agree that cheating isn't the worst thing that you can do to someone but its pretty high up there. If I could have gained the knowledge that I got from the act without committing it, then I wouldn't have done it. But I valued the knowledge too much. I also agree that the right thing to do would have been to discuss it with her beforehand and potentially break up, and to tell her now that i've done it, but I don't see how that helps anyone.


Everyone does things they regret in varying degrees - the fact that you feel guilty at all is a good sign (it means you have empathy). You may have done a bad thing, but that doesn't make you a bad person (in other words, you cheated - you are not "a cheater"). 

Just strive to do better next time and be honest with yourself about what puts you in these sort of situations. 

As far as telling her goes, you probably should for both of your sakes, and out of respect for her; she should have the right to decide how she wants to handle the situation (by not telling her, you are robbing her of that choice). There is always the possibility that she will be more understanding than you would expect and you will never know if you aren't honest with her.

If you never tell her, it will probably eat at you in little ways. If you don't tell her and she finds out later without you having told her, it will only be worse. There's a good chance that you will break up if you tell her (depending somewhat on the strength of your relationship), but that honesty alone is worth more than a relationship that is laced in a lie.

Good luck. :happy:


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## Ubuntu (Jun 17, 2011)

angelfish said:


> I feel bad for the girlfriend.


Why do you feel bad for the girlfriend? I would feel bad for her if she ever suspected or found out or was indirectly harmed by his affair in some way - which I wouldn't assume is unlikely - but I don't understand the concept that someone can be 'affected' by something they do not experience. Harm is _felt. _How do people rationalize 'feeling sorry' for someone who isn't in pain? It seems to me that you wouldn't be feeling with the person, you'd be feeling about them.



> You're already being hurtful whether she knows it or not.


How can she be hurt despite not knowing it?




> Everyone does things they regret in varying degrees - the fact that you feel guilty at all is a good sign (it means you have empathy).


If cheating on someone warrants feeling guilty it's because you were willing to risk harming them for your own selfish reasons, not because you had sex with someone else without your partner's permission per se. The biggest problem I have with cheating is that people who cheat don't let their partners have the same sexual freedom they enjoy (this wouldn't apply to those people who cheat who don't bring up an open relationship only because they believe their partners wouldn't be interested and would uncompromisingly prefer a monogamous partner or even that they might not go for being given permission to have multiple partners despite their partner agreeing to remain monogamous) but this is really no worse than a monogamous person who 'blackmails' their partner into not acting on their attraction to other people by threatening to leave them if they do. The experience of having a partner you believe is monogamous who isn't is identical to the experience of having a partner you believe is monogamous who is. There is no altruistic reason to feel guilty for anything other than not caring about someone else's pain or happiness. The non-felt frustration of their preference for a monogamous partner or the fact that their choice to be with someone is uninformed is immaterial to them regardless of what their opinion on cheating is. Cigarettes are bad for your health regardless of what your opinion is, experiencing happiness and avoiding pain is the only thing that benefits a person regardless of their opinion on what is in their best interests. We can know this because we actually experience the value of emotional states, the idea that I could be harmed by my wife cheating on me despite it not affecting me emotionally in any way is completely detached from any concrete reality. 






> and out of respect for her


I don't think respecting someone means accepting their preferences or choices. And I definitely don't see how it would be compassionate for him to tell her _if _he has good reason to believe she'll never find out and it will never be an issue if he doesn't bring it up.



> she should have the right to decide how she wants to handle the situation (by not telling her, you are robbing her of that choice)


But he wouldn't necessarily be robbing her of something that actually benefits her.




> As far as telling her goes, you probably should for both of your sakes




Maybe he should tell her, because it will hurt her more if she finds out otherwise or something like that,



> If you never tell her, it will probably eat at you in little ways. If you don't tell her and she finds out later without you having told her, it will only be worse.




but telling her because not doing so will eat at him isn't a her oriented reason to tell her.




> that honesty alone is worth more than a relationship that is laced in a lie.



In my view, that 'honesty' (or literal truth telling) isn't worth anything. Telling the truth has instrumental value, sometimes it's good and it's sometimes it's bad and sometimes it's neutral but it's not something you should do for it's own sake. What shouldn't be a lie is what matters - his caring about her (her actual experienced well-being).


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## theflame (Apr 12, 2014)

Sounds like an unhealthy relationship built on deceit. Way to go.


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## L (Aug 12, 2011)

I'm honestly a little more worried about the massive amount of name calling in this thread. 

Did he mess up? Probably. 

But let he who is without fault cast the first stone.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

StaceofBass said:


> That's what my ex thought too. Do not underestimate her.


Yup.

What an asshole-ish thing this whole cheating garbage was has been covered to death. So, let me say this. Firstly, it's an incredibly fuckin stupid idea to start a thread about wanting to cheat on your partner (and then pompously declaring you have cheated on her) on a public forum that she can access, especially considering you don't want her to know. Should have covered your bases if the secrecy was that important. Now, you may wonder how she might chance upon this. OP's ex, the woman with whom he cheated on his gf, is right fuckin here on the forum. :laughing:

She started a counter-thread of sorts, and honestly, she has every right to make a few clicks and send his gf proof. It's not that difficult to match someone's forum history with their IRL history, particularly when a hurt woman (the one he fucked, indirectly insulted right on the forum in one of his posts and left like she meant less than shit) is involved and active on the forum. 

So, if he thinks, there's no way in hell she would find out, he's deluded as hell. Starting this thread, with the 'other woman' right on this forum, was a terribly derpy idea. I would love for it to bite him in the ass, with the gf somehow finding out, because he sure lacks the balls to be honest with her and admits as much.




L said:


> Did he mess up? Probably.
> 
> But let he who is without fault cast the first stone.


if your answer to did he mess up is 'probably', your wishy washy and lame attitude needs no further proof. 


Nice try, though I am sure most people who were incensed at the cheating haven't necessarily thrown that particular stone in their lives. :3 

Calling bullshit where it's due doesn't require flawlessness as that religiously motivated hogwash would suggest. That's a very lame guilt trip. See if you can come up with better.


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## koalaroo (Nov 25, 2011)

Cosmic Orgasm said:


> So, if he thinks, there's no way in hell she would find out, he's deluded as hell. Starting this thread, with the 'other woman' right on this forum, was a terribly derpy idea. I would love for it to bit him in the ass, with the ex somehow finding out, because he sure lacks the balls to be honest with her and admits as much.


He's absolutely retarded if he thinks his girlfriend isn't going to find out. When I saw the "other woman" thread, my jaw just dropped. And, yeah, I really want this whole situation to bite him in the ass. The girlfriend has every right to know what a skeeze he is, because she has every right to know that he's 100% untrustworthy. Like, how fucked in the head do you have to be to have "Cheat on SO" on your bucket list?


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## FlaviaGemina (May 3, 2012)

LOL, this thread is amusing. 
I don't often visit the Sex and Relationship forum, but on the rare occasion that I do, it's great entertainment. It would be hilarious if the gf found out (well, not so much for her, but it would serve the guy right.). 
Also, why are most of his recent threads in the sex forum?


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

koalaroo said:


> He's absolutely retarded if he thinks his girlfriend isn't going to find out. When I saw the "other woman" thread, my jaw just dropped. And, yeah, I really want this whole situation to bite him in the ass. The girlfriend has every right to know what a skeeze he is, because she has every right to know that he's 100% untrustworthy. Like, how fucked in the head do you have to be to have "Cheat on SO" on your bucket list?


Yes, when I saw that thread, I had to stop and ask the woman if the guy was right on this forum. When she said yes, I literally had nothing much left to say because I was so taken aback by the absurdity and foolishness of it all. I mean..she's right here. And still, he made this thread? What..the..fuckity..fuck. XD

The gf certainly deserves to know she's with a total coward and a shameless (albeit derpy) liar, so she can move on and not live a lie because he's a chickenshit.


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## LostFavor (Aug 18, 2011)

Ubuntu said:


> I don't think respecting someone means accepting their preferences or choices. And I definitely don't see how it would be compassionate for him to tell her _if _he has good reason to believe she'll never find out and it will never be an issue if he doesn't bring it up.
> 
> But he wouldn't necessarily be robbing her of something that actually benefits her.
> 
> ...


That's the point though. Respecting people means treating them like the adults that they are - people who can handle bad situations and bad emotions. Compassion is great and all for minor things (I'm not advocating that relationships have to be 100% honesty _and_ openness 24/7) but when it's something that is so strongly tied to the basics of the relationship, it's kind of important to choose honesty.

In other words, what I was trying to advocate is not about _benefitting_ her, it's about _respecting_ her. I mean, I can't speak for everyone, but I would feel incredibly disrespected if someone held back such a thing from me and I later found out - like they think I'm some sort of fragile, glass statue that will break if not handled carefully. And I would probably struggle to buy into a reason like "to protect you," even if it was genuine. It would just look like an excuse in the face of someone who went behind my back.



Cosmic Orgasm said:


> Nice try, though I am sure most people who were incensed at the cheating haven't necessarily thrown that particular stone in their lives. :3
> 
> Calling bullshit where it's due doesn't require flawlessness as that religiously motivated hogwash would suggest. That's a very lame guilt trip. See if you can come up with better.


Here's better: Publicly flogging someone for wrongdoing doesn't encourage the person to do better next time. It just satisfies the crowd and cements the idea in the offender's mind that he/she not only has committed a "crime" but is also a _criminal_.


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## L (Aug 12, 2011)

Cosmic Orgasm said:


> if your answer to did he mess up is 'probably', your wishy washy and lame attitude needs no further proof.


Very true, I try to be as middle of the fence about things as I possibly can be. The simple matter of the fact is that I don't have all of the facts in this story. I don't know if he truly values the relationship, or if maybe the girlfriend is just an evil person. How am I to know that and so much more? 

Cheating is wrong though, it's stabbing someone in the back, but maybe she deserves it because of karma? I don't know and even more is that this story doesn't affect me emotionally at all. I also think it's rather amusing that it affects so many people here that they get angry and have to call him names, and I haven't seen one infraction yet (then again I haven't looked lately). 

The reason I'm like this is because of my own situations, even on here. I've been called disgusting by people who weren't punished, which means that they were in the right? No, they didn't know all of the facts and are so hellbound on seeing my flaws and pointing them out which is rather annoying. So I try my very best to not do that to other people because it annoys me. It's why I also try not to get involved in these 'type battles' because how am I to know? Although I'm ashamed to admit that there is one I can think of that I did get involved with and even a few when I was new here... but I try not to do that anymore. 




> Nice try, though I am sure most people who were incensed at the cheating haven't necessarily thrown that particular stone in their lives. :3


They don't have to be cheaters to be hypocrites in this particular situation. If you have hurt someone then who are you to point your finger at someone else' mistake and make them feel like shit? 

I have my own private thoughts about the OP and this situation but why voice them? It accomplishes nothing but a very self-serving motivation. I just see people who go out of their way to get angry at something that doesn't involve them at all a little immature. Furthermore I can identify with OP in the fact that all of these people ganging up on him because of something that doesn't involve anyone but him, his girlfriend and his ex (in other words, the characters in the story). 

He did something that has the potential to hurt his girlfriend greatly. But what does it say when other people jump on the bandwagon to try and hurt the OP? Is that not also wrong? 



> Calling bullshit where it's due doesn't require flawlessness as that religiously motivated hogwash would suggest. That's a very lame guilt trip. See if you can come up with better.


I'm not particularly religious either and probably have a lot of the same opinions as you concerning Christianity, but having said that I love the idea behind Jesus. 

I know very little about him but I do know that it doesn't matter if he's real or not, his lessons are very real. He lived his entire life without doing any harm to anyone else, and was unbiased in all things. He didn't allow other people to effect his own emotions. 

From that particular quote, the story is that some lady was an adulterer so a bunch of people brought her before Jesus and he said 'let he who is without sin cast the first stone'. He himself was without sin and didn't feel the need to cast any stones, instead he lifted her up and helped her. 

I can't remember the name, but I remember reading a practical application of this in an African tribe. Instead of shaming and punishing someone for making a mistake they instead gather around and tell the offender of all that is good about them. I have no idea if it's true or not, and the personal skeptic in me says it probably isn't. But imagine how much better life would be if it was...

EDIT: a quick Google search because I'm in a little bit of a hurry suggests that the tribe is indeed fiction, unfortunately.


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## L (Aug 12, 2011)

LostFavor said:


> Here's better: Publicly flogging someone for wrongdoing doesn't encourage the person to do better next time. It just satisfies the crowd and cements the idea in the offender's mind that he/she not only has committed a "crime" but is also a _criminal_.


Very true and I have personally been in a situation almost exactly like that. A lot of people in my school class had me convinced that I was undeserving of life simply because they did not like me. 

What good did any of it do? What good does any of this produce? 

Not one single iota.


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## cosmia (Jan 9, 2011)

L said:


> Cheating is wrong though, it's stabbing someone in the back, but maybe she deserves it because of karma?


This thread....

I'm amused as hell.


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## koalaroo (Nov 25, 2011)

cosmia said:


> This thread....
> 
> I'm amused as hell.


It certainly delivers.


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## Night & Day (Jul 17, 2010)

L said:


> ...


Sounds like a lack of empathy & morality to me. The OP is about cheating, not about what people have done to make you feel a certain way in other situations. His ex made her own thread BTW. She was used and lied to, by this guy. Look at the way he talks about her here, and look at her thread. Now this guy is proven to be a selfish person (he admitted it), and he also doesn't want to tell his current GF. What more proof do you need to at least recognize that what he did is wrong? No one here is bashing on him to make ourselves feel better. These are only replies to his OP, he asked for advice, then ignored it and did it anyway. It's what this thread is about, lol. I don't understand why you're bringing irrelevant experiences into it. If it's that important, you should know that probably everyone here has gone through what you have, maybe worse.


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## Noctis (Apr 4, 2012)

L said:


> Very true, I try to be as middle of the fence about things as I possibly can be. The simple matter of the fact is that I don't have all of the facts in this story. I don't know if he truly values the relationship, or if maybe the girlfriend is just an evil person. How am I to know that and so much more?
> 
> Cheating is wrong though, it's stabbing someone in the back, but maybe she deserves it because of karma? I don't know and even more is that this story doesn't affect me emotionally at all. I also think it's rather amusing that it affects so many people here that they get angry and have to call him names, and I haven't seen one infraction yet (then again I haven't looked lately).
> 
> ...


The OP did do something hurtful: cheating, which is very harmful to the woman, actually both women, since one is his ex, the other his girlfriend. He clearly acted wrongly from a moral standpoint by assumedly sleeping with his ex and broke the rules of their relationship (assuming its a monogamous relationship). We all make mistakes, but this is serious because he broke the trust of his girlfriend by acting upon cheating. Originally he posted about feeling that he was going to cheat, which is pretty intense. It is natural for people to have sexual desires, but we also choose what is moral and what is not moral through our actions. He also described his girlfriend as demanding he pay her large sums of money, as well as wanting him to choose him taking classes in her own city, rather than him stay home. She seems very controlling. So there are two sides of the coin. Now, he can admit what he did was wrong, which he did, and own up to it, since he did hurt his gf. How could she deserve it? Yes, we do not know all of the truth of the matter, and that is something for him to disclose if he chooses. It is bad that he cheated, yes and he feels guilty, but, however he needs to tell his girlfriend the truth before keeping it mum makes him feel even more guilty. No one can be like Jesus, and I do not expect them to. You said something very wise, that there is more to this story.


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## Noctis (Apr 4, 2012)

Fine Shrine said:


> Sounds like a lack of empathy & morality to me. The OP is about cheating, not about what people have done to make you feel a certain way in other situations. His ex made her own thread BTW. She was used and lied to, by this guy. Look at the way he talks about her here, and look at her thread. Now this guy is proven to be a selfish person (he admitted it), and he also doesn't want to tell his current GF. What more proof do you need to at least recognize that what he did is wrong? No one here is bashing on him to make ourselves feel better. These are only replies to his OP, he asked for advice, then ignored it and did it anyway. It's what this thread is about, lol. I don't understand why you're bringing irrelevant experiences into it. If it's that important, you should know that probably everyone here has gone through what you have, maybe worse.


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I'm sentencing my girlfriend to 15 weeks without meI go to college in Arizona, but my family lives in Illinois, I met my girlfriend here and she is from Arizona as well. This summer I need to take classes so that I can graduate in four years.

Right now it's set up where I will be going to summer school at home for the majority of the summer and staying at my grandma's house for part of the week, because the class ends at 930pm and it is a 45 minute drive home. My grandma knows about this and is excited to have me there.

My girlfriend wants me to take my summer class in Phoenix and stay with her and her mom, so that we wouldn't have to spend the majority of the summer apart. As it stands she may be coming out for a week on my birthday, but its going to cost her between 400 and 500 dollars, not including the money she's not making from not being able to work. She is expecting me to spend this much on her for her birthday.

I will come out to stay at her house for the rest of the summer after classes are over and I go on my family vacation, which ends up to be 1 or 2 weeks.

I would rather stay home because I will be around my friends, pets, and family who I only get to see during summer and winter breaks, but it just hit me that we would be spending almost half of out relationship at that point apart, or an entire semester to look at it another way.

I would like to spend more time with her, but don't like the cost of being away from everything for longer than I would if I stayed, and having to convince my parents to let me go there, along with upsetting my grandma. I'm also afraid that if we don't work out for whatever reason, and I can't complete my summer course, that I will be stuck attending 5 years of college.

Should I switch my schooling to Phoenix, or keep it as it is near Chicago? I can provide additional information if needed.​


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## Noctis (Apr 4, 2012)

Fine Shrine said:


> Sounds like a lack of empathy & morality to me. The OP is about cheating, not about what people have done to make you feel a certain way in other situations. His ex made her own thread BTW. She was used and lied to, by this guy. Look at the way he talks about her here, and look at her thread. Now this guy is proven to be a selfish person (he admitted it), and he also doesn't want to tell his current GF. What more proof do you need to at least recognize that what he did is wrong? No one here is bashing on him to make ourselves feel better. These are only replies to his OP, he asked for advice, then ignored it and did it anyway. It's what this thread is about, lol. I don't understand why you're bringing irrelevant experiences into it. If it's that important, you should know that probably everyone here has gone through what you have, maybe worse.


Where does she post her thread in response to his cheating? I did not find it in the sex and relationships thread.


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## koalaroo (Nov 25, 2011)

Noctis said:


> Where does she post her thread in response to his cheating? I did not find it in the sex and relationships thread.


http://personalitycafe.com/sex-relationships/245393-i-other-woman.html


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## Noctis (Apr 4, 2012)

Fine Shrine said:


> Sounds like a lack of empathy & morality to me. The OP is about cheating, not about what people have done to make you feel a certain way in other situations. His ex made her own thread BTW. She was used and lied to, by this guy. Look at the way he talks about her here, and look at her thread. Now this guy is proven to be a selfish person (he admitted it), and he also doesn't want to tell his current GF. What more proof do you need to at least recognize that what he did is wrong? No one here is bashing on him to make ourselves feel better. These are only replies to his OP, he asked for advice, then ignored it and did it anyway. It's what this thread is about, lol. I don't understand why you're bringing irrelevant experiences into it. If it's that important, you should know that probably everyone here has gone through what you have, maybe worse.


I do not know if his girlfriend posted about him, but yes his ex did. I read it when koalaroo linked it to me. Makes a helluva lotta sense. 

​​


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## Noctis (Apr 4, 2012)

koalaroo said:


> http://personalitycafe.com/sex-relationships/245393-i-other-woman.html


That must be his ex (the one he had sex with when cheating on his girlfriend) since she mentions seeing his post on the website.


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## L (Aug 12, 2011)

cosmia said:


> This thread....
> 
> I'm amused as hell.


Really... ? After all I typed up you're going to focus on that one sentence that is completely out of context? 

Really?


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## L (Aug 12, 2011)

Fine Shrine said:


> Sounds like a lack of empathy & morality to me. The OP is about cheating, not about what people have done to make you feel a certain way in other situations. His ex made her own thread BTW. She was used and lied to, by this guy. Look at the way he talks about her here, and look at her thread. Now this guy is proven to be a selfish person (he admitted it), and he also doesn't want to tell his current GF. What more proof do you need to at least recognize that what he did is wrong? No one here is bashing on him to make ourselves feel better. These are only replies to his OP, he asked for advice, then ignored it and did it anyway. It's what this thread is about, lol. I don't understand why you're bringing irrelevant experiences into it. If it's that important, you should know that probably everyone here has gone through what you have, maybe worse.


I haven't seen it. I have also said that what he did was wrong but how does all of the name calling and nastiness by everyone else make it any better?


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## L (Aug 12, 2011)

Noctis said:


> The OP did do something hurtful: cheating, which is very harmful to the woman, actually both women, since one is his ex, the other his girlfriend. He clearly acted wrongly from a moral standpoint by assumedly sleeping with his ex and broke the rules of their relationship (assuming its a monogamous relationship). We all make mistakes, but this is serious because he broke the trust of his girlfriend by acting upon cheating. Originally he posted about feeling that he was going to cheat, which is pretty intense. It is natural for people to have sexual desires, but we also choose what is moral and what is not moral through our actions. He also described his girlfriend as demanding he pay her large sums of money, as well as wanting him to choose him taking classes in her own city, rather than him stay home. She seems very controlling. _*So there are two sides of the coin.*_ Now, he can admit what he did was wrong, which he did, and own up to it, since he did hurt his gf. How could she deserve it? _*Yes, we do not know all of the truth of the matter*_, and that is something for him to disclose if he chooses. It is bad that he cheated, yes and he feels guilty, but, however he needs to tell his girlfriend the truth before keeping it mum makes him feel even more guilty. No one can be like Jesus, and I do not expect them to. You said something very wise, that there is more to this story.


Thank you! That's all I'm saying! That and all of the nastiness is uncalled for in this thread.


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## StaceofBass (Jul 1, 2012)

Cosmic Orgasm said:


> Now, you may wonder how she might chance upon this. OP's ex, the woman with whom he cheated on his gf, is right fuckin here on the forum. :laughing:












This suddenly got quite amusing.


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## Devrim (Jan 26, 2013)

L said:


> I haven't seen it. I have also said that what he did was wrong but how does all of the name calling and nastiness by everyone else make it any better?


Because people have REALLY been hurt by people who think this way,
Kindness shouldn't be reserved for actions that knowingly hurt someone,
You'd have to be a fool to not understand the implications of cheating.


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## L (Aug 12, 2011)

SirenOfTheGanges said:


> You'd have to be a fool to not understand the implications of cheating.



I have stated numerous times that I think cheating on someone is wrong, it's like stabbing them in the back. But how does going out of your way to hurt somebody else make it any better?



> Because people have REALLY been hurt by people who think this way,


Really? How? How have people been hurt by people thinking that people shouldn't gang up on other people for making a mistake that they regret? How has opposing a group of people similar to a lynch mob ever hurt anyone? 

Because I can tell you from personal experience that people have been hurt by people thinking _YOUR _way. 



> Kindness shouldn't be reserved for actions that knowingly hurt someone,


And who are you to draw that line? What makes you so special to pass this judgement?


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## Devrim (Jan 26, 2013)

L said:


> I have stated numerous times that I think cheating on someone is wrong, it's like stabbing them in the back. But how does going out of your way to hurt somebody else make it any better?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I didn't say you had said cheating wasn't good,
That was not what I meant or said,
I said that the reaction to this was expected.

And as of yet(I haven't read through the thread),
I have yet to see regret,
I only saw reasoning for 'why' it was somehow going to be alright to do it(The pros),
Some choice ones 'She'll never find out',
Etc.

And in the end my friend,
I am not here to keep everyones feelings,
I am not their mother nor am I this persons friend,
I grant respect and dignity to all,
But I do not promise my thoughts and ideals will mesh with theirs,
Let alone I will not promise to stand aside and keep quiet to an issue that I think is quite prevalent and pressing 

I can draw the line because THIS thread was put on a forum(Public may I add),
With the attempt of garnering attention to the question at hand,
If people are going to shed tears because they heard the public reaction,
Then I don't think you or the OP are mature enough to handle opinions that are not your own,
I don't support name calling,
And I don't support being mean,
But I don't think pointing out the fact this question is being asked,
Is symptomatic of a character issue to a large extent.

Did I say I was without my own character flaws?
No ways,
Did I say I was going to coddle the OP and try mince my words?
No.

Edit:
I just read the part where he admits to cheating,
Cry me a fucking river,
He deserves every ounce of hate he gets sent,
Want to make a mistake knowing of the pain it will cause someone else?
Seems like a pretty douchy way of doing something,
I don't think I could respect someone who knowingly will hurt someone they love,
So they can satisfy their own sexual needs.

Primitive,
Un-intellectual,
Weak,
Pathetic,
Entitled all seem to come to mind.

And you're kind of more irritating because all you can do is jump onto a high horse and try 'support humanity',
Puh-Leez,
Spare me the lecture.


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## L (Aug 12, 2011)

SirenOfTheGanges said:


> > And as of yet(I haven't read through the thread),
> > I have yet to see regret,
> > I only saw reasoning for 'why' it was somehow going to be alright to do it(The pros),
> > Some choice ones 'She'll never find out',
> ...


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## Devrim (Jan 26, 2013)

@ L

This is going to be a long one,
But here we go!

And this wasn't really attention seeking as much as it was just flippant,
You get the reaction you seek,
And this guy whole heartedly got it 

Your picking at the wrong argument kid,
I never mentioned that my line was the best one,
But it is my line,
And I don't really think you've got a better one,
Because tolerating this persons behavior,
To *me* is not on,
But you've got *your* lines,
I've got *mine*.

Remember to follow your own reasoning when trying to use such an argument.

Good you're only slightly peeved off,
But we're back to this not being about *you* only,
And how *you* feel about this 

I seriously am just going to have to go right back to you being the one complaining about how others reacted to this,
Can't handle it,
I mean I never claimed to be very accepting of other view points on this,
But you seem to,
Yet I see none of this 'openness' in how you address my thoughts :3

Eh you call it name calling,
I call it character hallmarks,
We can't all be happy now can we?

Regardless this is going to devolve quickly,
And seeing as me and you never see eye to eye,
I'm going to leave it right here!


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## Inveniet (Aug 21, 2009)

Whatever you do, do it to the hilt.
Be totally congruent and don't dilly dally around.
It isn't good for you to have conflicting values like this.


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## Aquamarine (Jul 24, 2011)

1. Break up with her
or
2. Wait for her
or
3. Suggest to make your relationship an open one. If she agrees, let her know that you want to sleep with someone else. May also cause the breakup, so suggest at your own peril.

What's with the long debate up there?


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