# Ladies, What Kind of People Trigger Attraction?



## incision (May 23, 2010)

This includes LGBT ladies as well as hetero ladies. Doesn't matter if you take this thread as indicative of physical attractiveness, personality or both.

I find high fluid intelligence but bound within logical frameworks, attractive in males. That combined with nerdishness (not geekiness) and gentleness/kindness with animals, children and myself of course, to be the 'slay me' trifecta.


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## dulcinea (Aug 22, 2011)

I mentioned this in another thread, but the first thing that catches my attention with a guy is how he's dressed. Then it's manners. I like good manners, and a nice smile, and a positive manner. I, personally prefer a full head of hair to bald. I know some women who prefer bald men, so I guess there's an audience for all types of guys XD.

The thing that catches my eye the most is the eyes. I like expressive eyes. I really don't care the color. I seem to typically attract guys with blue or green eyes though, which is nice . I just tend to prefer large eyes. 

Personality wise, what catches my attention are: positivity, radiance, someone who likes to make jokes and make everyone smile. Someone who can take things in stride and doesn't get angry or lose their temper easily. There is nothing that turns me off more quickly than seeing a man being unecessarily critical of people or losing their temper too quickly.


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## Squirt (Jun 2, 2017)

I am attracted to highly intelligent, fucked up men that don’t fit in to society. Same for women really, even though I am heterosexual.

A similar idea for a thread, if it is ok to dovetail with an example section: One day I was talking with an acquaintance and she said as a child she was attracted to the character Scar in the Lion King movie. That was one of the most bizarre attractions I heard from someone, but honestly I had some weird ones myself. Can we have a list of your weird childhood fictional character attractions that can really distill what you go for?

-Beetlejuice (cannot tell you why six year old me had a thing for that nightmare)
-Metal Sonic (because obviously)
-Spock and Data from Star Trek
-The Joker (that one is pretty popular at least)
-Jeff Goldblum in anything


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## Electra (Oct 24, 2014)

respects my family, non cheating, kind, flirty, empathic, looks good in my eyes, long term guy, not fake, likes to have fun, etc.


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## C00lCatNaps (Apr 30, 2018)

It don't cost to keep it real, love yourself before you love anyone else & find someone who brings the most best out of anyone situation - own it shawtyy'


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## C00lCatNaps (Apr 30, 2018)

dulcinea said:


> I mentioned this in another thread, but the first thing that catches my attention with a guy is how he's dressed. Then it's manners. I like good manners, and a nice smile, and a positive manner. I, personally prefer a full head of hair to bald. I know some women who prefer bald men, so I guess there's an audience for all types of guys XD.
> 
> The thing that catches my eye the most is the eyes. I like expressive eyes. I really don't care the color. I seem to typically attract guys with blue or green eyes though, which is nice 🙂. I just tend to prefer large eyes.
> 
> Personality wise, what catches my attention are: positivity, radiance, someone who likes to make jokes and make everyone smile. Someone who can take things in stride and doesn't get angry or lose their temper easily. There is nothing that turns me off more quickly than seeing a man being unecessarily critical of people or losing their temper too quickly.


All eyes on you 😏


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## C00lCatNaps (Apr 30, 2018)

Do opposites attract? Sometimes having the same routine can get boring. . Switch things up and see what you like. Isn't that what life is about? I know we all live to die, but aren't we atleast born to be different


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## ukulele (Jan 3, 2017)

Focused, intelligent, high morals, soft inside, sensitive, curious, knows what he wants, thinks independently from the crowd and is not afraid of it, doesn't have to be liked by everyone, nor wants to conform (I've recently realized how seeking a normal path, being preoccupied with a career (not passion) and earthy life is a big turn off), knows (prefers) how to be alone, has a little child inside, not perfect, self-aware, keeps improving but inherently *fucked up*.

It won't hurt if he's tall and masculine. Can be "ugly" otherwise.


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## Dare (Nov 8, 2016)

Men who trigger attraction in me cover a wider range compared to the average in several ways: 
1. 'Masculine' + sensitive/deep. 
2. Forward looking, big picture, independent 'thinker' who is high functioning & 'present'. 
3. Serious/driven/responsible as a whole but still enjoys a bit of humor/playfulness/time to relax. 
4. Gifted intelligence but doesn't 'wear' it -- isn't arrogant or insecure or self-identifies as (only) a 'brain'.
5. Has a wide range of interests/knowledge or very deep in a few.

Then there are some basics:
6. Surprises me somehow (keeps me guessing a little)
7. Internally motivated for personal growth, positive & open generally
8. Taller than me
9. Nothing 'wrong' with him physically (not obese, fit, in my age range etc)
10. Values me (I can only get attracted to men who are attracted to me and for the 'right' reasons)


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## Blue Ribbon (Sep 4, 2016)

I tend to like people with some kind of violent passion to them. I don't care much for intelligence, but I love a partner who can put up a fight. I remember being violently turned on by a girl who told me she would kill me if she could. That was something.


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## Ariviel (Jun 30, 2017)

Deep,
Compassionate, 
Cold exterior with a soft heart,
Philosophical, 
Have the courage to be himself no matter what the consequences will be,
Doesn't kiss ass, has his own values,
Doesn't flirt or date with whomever is available, preferably monogamous, seeks for 1 true solid sincere relationship,
Empathic, open-minded, respectful to all.


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## caity811 (Feb 9, 2015)

Someone who is: 
- Intelligent. Doesn't have to be highly educated necessarily, but enjoys learning new things about various topics and figuring out the world. Doesn't settle.

- Keeps their appearance and clothing well kept.

- Confident in themselves and who they are, but isn't cocky.

- Funny. Has a sense of humor and makes you laugh.

And attraction wise for romantic partners: 
- Very romantic. Writes you love letters and little notes to remind you how much they care. Enjoys holding hands, dancing with you, and little touches. Likes going on walks with you. Gets you very thoughtful gifts for special occasions, not the typical superficial products. Desires long-term relationships, not casual dating.


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## Scarlet_Heart (Oct 11, 2014)

When you say "trigger attraction" that suggests that I notice them in a significant way. Since there is no way i can size up their entire personality in that short amount of time, I'll say that confidence is immediately appealing. As is restraint, and what I mean by that is, they aren't all over the place, running their mouth about things they don't know much about, sloppy drunk, etc. Someone who is collected and confident triggers my attention and I am drawn to that.


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## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

I know this male-humanoid. Very complimentary. Not that intelligent; not all that studious, not a logical guy whatsoever. However, deeply emotionally profound - sometimes, so emotionally intuitive - I was concerned for his well-being. He was that passionate; empathetic, contradictory, clumsy thinking, _feverishly _illogical, lost in his creative realm of the world. We spoke different dialects, and still, I understood. And that, is _quite beautiful_, quite beautiful, _indeed_.


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## incision (May 23, 2010)

Forgot one more very important trait so it's a quadfecta not a trifecta. Wonder.


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## Darkest NiTe (Mar 3, 2013)

Squirt said:


> I am attracted to highly intelligent, fucked up men that don’t fit in to society. Same for women really, even though I am heterosexual.
> 
> A similar idea for a thread, if it is ok to dovetail with an example section: One day I was talking with an acquaintance and she said as a child she was attracted to the character Scar in the Lion King movie. That was one of the most bizarre attractions I heard from someone, but honestly I had some weird ones myself. Can we have a list of your weird childhood fictional character attractions that can really distill what you go for?
> 
> ...


So, I think you and I would get along quite well. 

As a child, my parents thought something was wrong with me because I tended to gravitate towards the villain (something that's mostly true today, provided that the villain is very dynamic).

Also, my gf thinks I'm messed up. She's a little sensitive to horror/terror, so told me she was making the "terrible decision" of starting Criminal Minds, and asked I watch it with her. I insist we skip the "boring" episodes where there isn't a messed up serial killer with a really terrifying MO.

I've also taken a serious interest into the Golden State Killer.

Do I pass your test?


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## Darkest NiTe (Mar 3, 2013)

Catwalk said:


> I know this male-humanoid. Very complimentary. Not that intelligent; not all that studious, not a logical guy whatsoever. However, deeply emotionally profound - sometimes, so emotionally intuitive - I was concerned for his well-being. He was that passionate; empathetic, contradictory, clumsy thinking, _feverishly _illogical, lost in his creative realm of the world. We spoke different dialects, and still, I understood. And that, is _quite beautiful_, quite beautiful, _indeed_.


Is this man your sub?


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## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

Darkest NiTe said:


> Is this man your sub?


He is quite vanilla.


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## Darkest NiTe (Mar 3, 2013)

Catwalk said:


> He is quite vanilla.


Once in a while, we do need a scoop of vanilla to balance out all the intense flavors going on in our lives.


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## Kelly Kapowski (Apr 26, 2018)

Sense of humor :hearteyes::hearteyes:
Intelligent :hearteyes:
Confident :hearteyes:
Kind ::hearteyes:
Humble:hearteyes:





Squirt said:


> I am attracted to highly intelligent, fucked up men that don’t fit in to society. Same for women really, even though I am heterosexual.
> 
> A similar idea for a thread, if it is ok to dovetail with an example section: One day I was talking with an acquaintance and she said as a child she was attracted to the character Scar in the Lion King movie. That was one of the most bizarre attractions I heard from someone, but honestly I had some weird ones myself. Can we have a list of your weird childhood fictional character attractions that can really distill what you go for?
> 
> ...


The entire cast of 21 Jump Street
C to the O to the B-R-A = Cobra Commanderrrrrrr

*Beetlejuice* :laughin: He was such a boob it just may have worked for him :shocked:


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## ponpiri (Apr 30, 2017)

MUST-HAVES: intelligent, thoughtful/introspective, considerate, decent manners, nice eye brows, neat and self-contained

extras for men: FULL lips, slightly effeminate look/none of that "masculine" bullshit, sensitive and confident

Honest and forthcoming if we're talking friendships and relationships. I don't really care about that if it's just a wham bam and done.


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## ButIHaveNoFear (Sep 6, 2017)

Hmm... Well, I'm 5'4", and what catches my eye instantly is a man who is not the tallest in the bunch and is sturdily built. Honestly, a big and tall guy can intimidate me. (And would his child actually fit through my pelvis??) Good figure and nice thighs. Clothes can help a lot with that. It's pretty nice if his face is more angular than round and his eyes are on the smaller side. ...But I haven't been attracted to a guy based on pure looks in quite a while. If he is healthy, any of these additions is a perk. I definitely like strong/confident posture.

The kind of people who trigger attraction are generally the ones who are attracted to me after we casually know each other for a while. When they're attracted to me, they initiate communication, and I get to actually see what kind of person they are. It's not likely for me to be attracted to a total stranger. I need to see them interact with someone else to see how they act. 

I like when a guy observes and thinks about things—always learning. Because I'm always learning. It stops me in my tracks _dead_ when someone tells me something I haven't considered before, some new place for my mind to go. I can hardly form a response to something like that! It's very humbling and even a bit uncomfortable as my brain shifts everything around to accommodate this new concept. I need it to happen more often, I think. Challenges are good. I was talking to someone I like, and he brought up the quote "don't accept what you can't change; change what you can't accept." It still floors me. I haven't always been living out this idea, but I would like to _very much_. And now I feel hungry for more conversation with him, almost a dependency—because who else would I be able to go on this journey with? Mad respect. Even without him I might never be the same.

If we have some major interests in common, we have a common language. That's really important. And, of course, having similar values to mine. Like not hurting others and trying to help people.

TL;DR: I'm attracted to my masculine physical complement who is comfortable with himself and has common ground with me, and who then inspires me to improve myself.


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## Fox hidden in the woods (Dec 10, 2017)

ponpiri said:


> MUST-HAVES: intelligent, thoughtful/introspective, considerate, decent manners, nice eye brows, neat and self-contained
> 
> extras for men: FULL lips, slightly effeminate look/none of that "masculine" bullshit, sensitive and confident
> 
> Honest and forthcoming if we're talking friendships and relationships. I don't really care about that if it's just a wham bam and done.


im all that!


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## Senah (Oct 17, 2017)

Confident and intelligent - like they want to eat me alive.


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## marybluesky (Apr 23, 2012)

Tall, willowy stature
Big, shining eyes
Nice face
Glimpse of childlike behavior and enthusiasm
Gentleness


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## Wellsy (Oct 24, 2011)

Like wellsy but better


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## Sunempress90 (May 20, 2018)

hmm, 

Well first off I usually listen to my gut, usually I can tell skmehow if someone shares the same interests as me before I even know them (double attraction points if you completely fool me until after i know you) 
I like men that have a sense of style, are kind, friendly, and have an artistic streak to them. Body type and stature doesnt mean much to me, as long as it isnt anything at one extreme or another. 
I generally like more medium/longish hair and am not typical attracted to bald or closely shaved headed men (I'm a former hairdresser so that probably has something to do with it)


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

I find attraction to be kind of mysterious.

Physically, I've been attracted to tall and my height guys (which is probably short for a guy). I've been attracted to pale men and men with more melanin. I would say that all the men I've been attracted to have been intelligent--at least as intelligent as me (so not geniuses, necessarily b/c I'm not).

Most have been atheists or agnostics. This might be the most obvious distinction, though I've known plenty of atheists who I wasn't particularly attracted to. 

I don't consider myself an atheist, but the people who I've been most attracted to have been atheists or not really religious.

I can't see myself with someone who was super religious either, so it makes sense, but still kind of a weird detail and not really what I think distinguishes attraction.


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## SevSevens (Aug 5, 2015)

It's interesting to see so many women here into dark chocolate.

IF I were a woman I would be attracted to Mandigo...as he is a legend.


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## RubyRalph (May 24, 2018)

I lovee tall guys!!


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## RubyRalph (May 24, 2018)

Beard is a must. It can be stubble or even a goatee


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## SomeOtherName (Apr 17, 2018)

I don't wanna mention too many things because this isn't Build-a-Boy workshop, but I'll name a few things... 

Someone respectful. in other words, someone who is comfortable with me having more 'masculine' interests (I once had a guy tell me I knew too much about hockey for a girl, and that a girl should never know more about hockey than any male. like... really???), and doesnt say stupid shit like, "she must be on her period". I can joke about stuff like that lightly (yes i know that i probably shouldn't but honestly i'm here for a good not a long time so i dont have time to waste on filtering my sense of humour) but when I know they mean it and honestly think that just because a girl isn't acting the exact way she 'should', she is on her period... I lose my shit. and respect for them. guys who disrespect their mothers without reason also have a very special place in my heart... right next to people who kick kittens and puppies. I just can't deal with them.

I also like me a dude who can take care of himself; not just physically, but mentally, financially, and just in life in general. a guy who doesn't live at home until he's 30, a guy who knows how often to shower, a guy who can hold a steady job, a guy who doesn't depend on others for e v e r y t h i n g.

Bonus points go to guys who dress well. that definitely is something that catches my eye first; a well dressed average looking guy will probably be more attractive to me than a guy who looks homeless but has a nice face. I am aware that style is something you can 'fix', but honestly if it's their way of expressing themself, I don't want them to change it (unless it's terribly rude). I don't like when girls start dating guys and suddenly the guy has a new haircut, a new wardrobe, new friends... etc. Don't fix what isn't broken, I say. There's a fine line between motivating a guy to 'better' himself, and making him change altogether.

Good humour and conversational skills is probably the last vital thing for me. A guy who can make me laugh and keep a good conversation is a big plus. Humour is attractive. So are conversations that make it past what I did today and how the weather has been lately.

Good manners is probably the last thing that I would gravitate towards. If a guy knows how to properly use a fork and knife... damn. I love it. Being polite and not a pig is free and makes a guy SO much more attractive.

Those are the major things... there are likely other things, but they probably aren't that important to me, given I couldn't remember them off the top of my head.


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## andreasdevig (Apr 12, 2017)

Kelly Kapowski said:


> Sense of humor :hearteyes::hearteyes:
> Intelligent :hearteyes:
> Confident :hearteyes:
> Kind ::hearteyes:
> Humble:hearteyes:


I have all of those, except 'Intelligent', 'Confident' and 'Humble'.


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## Kelly Kapowski (Apr 26, 2018)

andreasdevig said:


> I have all of those, except 'Intelligent', 'Confident' and 'Humble'.



Haha 
+10 for sense of humor


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## Fiel (Mar 23, 2010)

People who exude confidence in themselves as they are and show others the same acceptance to just be. People who are complete within themselves and have no "needs" to fill, only desires to play with. People who have no need for social convention or belief, but choose instead to experience what they want, giving others the same freedom. 

I think I'd want to play with that person for a while.


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## Cthulhu And Coffee (Mar 8, 2012)

Well, there's a difference between sexual attraction and potential boyfriend attraction, for me. I'm not sure if this is because I'm sx-first, but there are definitely people I'd just wanna smash vs. people I'd actually want to get to know better.

In regards to sexual attraction:

-Tall
-Tatted 
-Good bone structure in the face.. and other places OBVS.
-Doesn't talk much, but is friendly in a conventional and sort of forced way (think Alex from Clockwork Orange, when he's not letting his psychopathic tendencies show.)
-In great shape. The more buff they are, the better
-Within my age group (21-31)
-Stoic facial expression (other than a small smile/smirk,) and a stoic look of the eyes. I think out of everything on the list, this does it most for me. I would say it's most definitely an XSTP or XXTP thing. I think I like it so much because it gives me this impression that they would incorporate very little emotion into sex and are just focused on making it physically feel amazing. I like emotional sex okay, but it's not as good as great sex with someone who knows what they're doing whether there are feelings involved or not.

....and yes, I had someone in mind when writing this lol. He's a customer I see pretty often where I work. v_v It'll never happen but the fantasies are awesome enough.

-----------------------

Potential boyfriend attraction:

-My height, give or take a couple inches
-Not too concerned with fashion, but they should have a bit of style that makes them stand out.
-Openly sweet and friendly to me and others they might not know very well. I like them to have great manners. Basically southern hospitality.
-Decently attractive
-Can be slightly overweight or underweight, but preferably in the middle. I don't care if they're athletically built or not.
-Within my age group 
-Offbeat sense of humor that makes me laugh hysterically, but also think.
-I like a lot of facial dexterity and an overall energetic persona. Think Fred Armisen.

Ideally this person would still be pretty great in bed, despite being more emotional than the former. But I'm not expecting porn star status.


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## NT the DC (May 31, 2012)

SomeOtherName said:


> I don't wanna mention too many things because this isn't Build-a-Boy workshop, but I'll name a few things...
> 
> Someone respectful. in other words, someone who is comfortable with me having more 'masculine' interests (I once had a guy tell me I knew too much about hockey for a girl, and that a girl should never know more about hockey than any male. like... really???), and doesnt say stupid shit like, "she must be on her period". I can joke about stuff like that lightly (yes i know that i probably shouldn't but honestly i'm here for a good not a long time so i dont have time to waste on filtering my sense of humour) but when I know they mean it and honestly think that just because a girl isn't acting the exact way she 'should', she is on her period... I lose my shit. and respect for them. guys who disrespect their mothers without reason also have a very special place in my heart... right next to people who kick kittens and puppies. I just can't deal with them.
> 
> ...


Stop describing me - your ideal man.
I have gf.
Oh the temptations of the woooorld
:wink:


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

Genuineness.

Genuineness relates to honesty. Honesty requires one to be honest and faithful to oneself and others. 

Honesty requires truthfulness, seeking answers. Open-mindedness, perseverance.

To seek truth, requires courage. And in the words of Maya Angelou "Courage requires kindness."

So, #1- I love genuineness. There's a vulnerability to it that's humbling, and allows for the possibilities of introspection and personal growth to occur, the ability to be love, feel passion, ignite joy in self and others, to and be an all around well-rounded smart and _simple_ human being. A *W*i_s_e _*S*oul._


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## Potatooesunshinerays (Dec 26, 2017)

I like those who have a fatherly, caring vibe from them.


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## contradictionary (Apr 1, 2018)

Where is mr. nice guy in this thread. Return his kindness and show him some love, ladies...


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## SirCanSir (Mar 21, 2018)

contradictionary said:


> Where is mr. nice guy in this thread. Return his kindness and show him some love, ladies...




I see we are both peeking at the same places.


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## Kenkao (Dec 18, 2016)

I am attracted to intelligence. It's actually the first thing I see. No matter how handsome, pleasing in the eyes you are, if I'm not impressed with your intelligence,. I'm so sorry but there is no way that I'll get attracted.

Second is kindness and gentleness. Ok granted you're the most intelligent man in the world that I've met but you're arrogant, uhmm, sorry but bye bye ️

Third is proper grooming. You don't have to look like an actor but at least dress and smell neatly 

The rest will be about the personality. Do we jive? Are you polite and respectful? Do we have the same view about sex? Etc.

Sent from my ONEPLUS A5000 using Tapatalk


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## Fiel (Mar 23, 2010)

contradictionary said:


> Where is mr. nice guy in this thread. Return his kindness and show him some love, ladies...


Mr. Nice Guy has a lot of beliefs and insecurities often in my experience. They ascribe to a certain belief system that tells them what a "Good person" does and says and what that "Good person" deserves as a result of all their striving and hard work to unnaturally fit their genuine self into a cookie cutter shell made out of a collection of beliefs passed down from authority, previous generations, celebrity, general consensus, etc...

In the end, I want a connection with someone who speaks and acts as a human free from authority and belief. I want genuine and I don't need someone to take care of me as "Mr. Nice Guy" feels he must. I want to enjoy moments of this life with people knowing we're both free and doing exactly what we want and enjoy together without regard to "should", "need", "must", "right", "wrong", rules...


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## SomeOtherName (Apr 17, 2018)

NT the DC said:


> Stop describing me - your ideal man.
> I have gf.
> Oh the temptations of the woooorld
> :wink:


AND you're an NT?? oh come on...


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## Marshy (Apr 10, 2016)

*puts on makeup* 
rawr *smooches you*
I like fat disgusting stupid pieces of shit that can't take care of themselves. Preferably over 600lbs and can possibly be featured on "my 600 lb life." Oh I love when the dead skin rises to the top, that's the best part! And the way they order me around gets me sooooo hawt if you know what I mean 










Pretty hot, huh?
After all opposites do attract


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## Marshy (Apr 10, 2016)

Blue Ribbon said:


> I tend to like people with some kind of violent passion to them. I don't care much for intelligence, but I love a partner who can put up a fight. I remember being violently turned on by a girl who told me she would kill me if she could. That was something.


Im going to shoot you in the face.


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## Blue Ribbon (Sep 4, 2016)

Marshy14 said:


> Im going to shoot you in the face.


Oh baby <3


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## amanda32 (Jul 23, 2009)

People who talk about deep things, how they really feel and what they really think. 
People who aren't people pleasers.
And above all, men who are kind and who have integrity.

There's nothing hotter than that.


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## S7xM5x (Jun 4, 2018)

Confidence and presence, someone who knows their strengths (as well as weaknesses), most importantly open minded.


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## mightyoak (Feb 1, 2017)

This kind...


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## cardinalfire (Dec 10, 2009)

I want to ask a question here I think I already know the answer to.

So I nearly asked some girl at work out today, only to find out she had a partner *phew that could have been awkward* - kind of bummed out but then I was like 'i'm sure she was checking me out loads before, and kept staring at me like all the time'. To the point where i'm like kind of surprised, but maybe that's a common thing, I just don't really notice? Though explains I guess the kind of sometimes mixed vibe I got.

What do you guys think, she just liked my pretty face? :tongue: Maybe I just triggered attraction but there has to be more for things to be serious? Idk. I'm just speculating here.


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## contradictionary (Apr 1, 2018)

SirCanSir said:


> I see we are both peeking at the same places.


Well hello there, sirpeepingsir :blushed:

Are you a nice guy, sir?


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## SirCanSir (Mar 21, 2018)

contradictionary said:


> Well hello there, sirpeepingsir :blushed:
> 
> Are you a nice guy, sir?


Not as much as I used to be. I prefer the neutral lifestyle. Got to feed an ego, but we may discuss some kind of agreement :heart:.


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## SirCanSir (Mar 21, 2018)

Fiel said:


> Mr. Nice Guy has a lot of beliefs and insecurities often in my experience. They ascribe to a certain belief system that tells them what a "Good person" does and says and what that "Good person" deserves as a result of all their striving and hard work to unnaturally fit their genuine self into a cookie cutter shell made out of a collection of beliefs passed down from authority, previous generations, celebrity, general consensus, etc...
> 
> In the end, I want a connection with someone who speaks and acts as a human free from authority and belief. I want genuine and I don't need someone to take care of me as "Mr. Nice Guy" feels he must. I want to enjoy moments of this life with people knowing we're both free and doing exactly what we want and enjoy together without regard to "should", "need", "must", "right", "wrong", rules...


So in general you dislike your man to be submissive because its your role?
Every woman is like "I need a badboy to change into a sweatheart for me" and then they get the badboys, but they rarely change them into anything. So they just enjoy submission to avoid the nice guy who is like a servant. 

Am I the only one who finds this weird? I guess thats where the "women dont know what they want" comes from.


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## Wisteria (Apr 2, 2015)

Same as the OP actually. I'm drawn to those who make me feel like a better person, if that makes sense? Also have a soft spot for nerdiness. Honestly masculinity as well, both personality and appearance wise, but it's also attractive when they have typically feminine traits like kindness, modesty and admitting weaknesses. Physically it's better that they are taller than me, but other than that I don't care unless they look outright weird or have bad hygiene. 

This feels shallow though, and I have been attracted to different kinds of people. These things are more what attracts me to them at first sight. Really though I'm drawn to people who are similar to me, just like everyone is. People who are attracted to someone merely by their appearance, race, masculinity/femininity etc are either unaware of why they are really attracted to them or are superficial.


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## Loaf (Mar 27, 2014)

Not me at the moment it seems :laughing:


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## Daiz (Jan 4, 2017)

Guys who are confident and kind.


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## Fiel (Mar 23, 2010)

SirCanSir said:


> So in general you dislike your man to be submissive because its your role?
> Every woman is like "I need a badboy to change into a sweatheart for me" and then they get the badboys, but they rarely change them into anything. So they just enjoy submission to avoid the nice guy who is like a servant.
> 
> Am I the only one who finds this weird? I guess thats where the "women dont know what they want" comes from.


Not at all, actually. I see no need for role reversal as I see no need for roles at all. I'm speaking of freedom and complete individuality, coming together for no reason other than desire to share some life experiences together. No rules, no labels.


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## SirCanSir (Mar 21, 2018)

Fiel said:


> Not at all, actually. I see no need for role reversal as I see no need for roles at all. I'm speaking of freedom and complete individuality, coming together for no reason other than desire to share some life experiences together. No rules, no labels.


So you just want equality and everyone to mind his own buisiness.


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## Wellsy (Oct 24, 2011)

Fiel said:


> Not at all, actually. I see no need for role reversal as I see no need for roles at all. I'm speaking of freedom and complete individuality, coming together for no reason other than desire to share some life experiences together. No rules, no labels.


Might consider the abstract individualism of anthony giddens idea of the pure relationship and its limits.
http://staff.um.edu.mt/aabe2/S99 Jamieson.pdf


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## General Lee Awesome (Sep 28, 2014)

I’m nice


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## Ravenetta (Oct 23, 2013)

Kind, unique, intelligent
I tend to like someone more skilled or accomplished than myself, so there's no competition.


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## mightyoak (Feb 1, 2017)

1. kind hearted
2. decisive (isn't wishy washy)
3. hard working
4. wise
5. doesn't do drugs
6. can express his emotions
7. loyal
8. isn't a people pleaser
9. doesn't follow the crowd
10. good sense of humor


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## Schizoid (Jan 31, 2015)

People who are consistent and reliable with me and doesn't go hot/cold on me. If I can ever find such a guy, I'll marry him.

So it really depends a lot on how a guy treats me. If a guy treats me nice all the time and is always consistent with his actions and also reliable and dependable, he will trigger attraction in me. 

On the other hand, if a guy is the sort who displays flakey behavior with me, cancel dates on me repeatedly, go hot/cold on me and give me lots of mixed signals, I'll start to lose interest in him immediately. I don't like to play guessing games with people, and if a guy tries to play guessing games with me, I'll eliminate him out of the game immediately.


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## Wellsy (Oct 24, 2011)

Wellsy said:


> Like wellsy but better


Well do you have the oomph effect?


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## Eugenia Shepherd (Nov 10, 2017)

In a man; docility, intellect, and nonchalance.
Those calm/levelheaded draw me in like a moth to open flame. 
I rarely notice physical appearance, ever, but a light, agreeable cologne is welcomed.


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## contradictionary (Apr 1, 2018)

Eugenia Shepherd said:


> In a man; docility, intellect, and nonchalance.
> Those calm/levelheaded draw me in like a moth to open flame.


Those are stereotype masculine, the obvious result of both genetic and/or lifetime practice of "restrain" since childhood.

Which so many people, women, and some men, hate nowadays. 

_Sent sans PC_


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## Marvin the Dendroid (Sep 10, 2015)

Wellsy said:


> Well do you have the oomph effect?


Vote Wellsy for more Woomph in your life!


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

The last guy that caught my eye was last week in passing. Waiting in line for service. I would really like to run into that dude again. Woah. 

He was such a nice blend of rugged but not too rugged. Muscles but not too much muscle. Perfect medium cream to tan complexion. Nice eyes. Really shiny well kept hair that looked dam good in a pnoy tail (not many men pull that off well and still look polished). 

I have not gotten laid in a while and I am probably ovulating so I am going to stop talking about that dude.


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## Forest Nymph (Aug 25, 2018)

Marshy said:


> *puts on makeup*
> rawr *smooches you*
> I like fat disgusting stupid pieces of shit that can't take care of themselves. Preferably over 600lbs and can possibly be featured on "my 600 lb life." Oh I love when the dead skin rises to the top, that's the best part! And the way they order me around gets me sooooo hawt if you know what I mean
> 
> ...


I laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants.


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## Forest Nymph (Aug 25, 2018)

If we are talking about the automatic irrational kind of trigger (rather than these wish lists for perfect husbands that are dominating the thread) I can honestly say that I'm a complete sucker for charmers. You know, banging a much younger ESFP with a free spirited easy going demeanor instead of having a normal relationship like a grown up. Speaking of grown up relationships, my longest was with an ESFJ who could sell snow to Eskimos when he was "on" and had a megawatt smile. I've crushed madly on an ENFJ asexual who was just a really pleasant and chatty person and not actually into me, and recently was attracted to a total space cadet who is all wrong for me because he had this beautiful face and was so sweet and charming the day we met. 

Physically I'm the opposite of wanting snappy dressers. I am that woman who will date a homeless looking man if he has beautiful eyes and lovely hair. Some of my boyfriends or crushes have perpetually dressed in beanies and flannels. Rawr lumberjack. For me it's really about their hair, face, eyes and sometimes body. I do like hair a bunch.


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## Wisteria (Apr 2, 2015)

They must have at least 5 red flags, that really does it for me <3


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## Adelis (Jun 1, 2019)

Attracted to. Well, if a person can make an apparently impossible situation turn out well, that will get my attention. For attraction to be built up, that has to simply continue.

Or progress. If theres clear genuine progress, then I would be attracted.

Lies have opposite effect.


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## meandshoe (Apr 6, 2019)

I tend to be attracted to intelligent, good looking guys who also have a sensual, calm aura about them. They are also kind and not selfish.


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## Katie Koopa (Jun 25, 2014)

Hot anime villains/anti-heroes.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

Squirt said:


> I am attracted to highly intelligent, fucked up men that don’t fit in to society. Same for women really, even though I am heterosexual.


:laughing: *waves*


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## Wellsy (Oct 24, 2011)

Veiny arms oomph


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## Squirt (Jun 2, 2017)

Wellsy said:


> Veiny arms oomph


Not... varicose veins? :smug:

https://dai.ly/x3os02c (8:36)


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## Wellsy (Oct 24, 2011)

Squirt said:


> Not... varicose veins? :smug:
> 
> https://dai.ly/x3os02c (8:36)


Hubba hubba dem wrigglies XD


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## Introvertia (Feb 6, 2016)

I like 'cold' people who don't show emotions openly and easily, take long time to warm up who end up being big passionate softies.


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## NIHM (Mar 24, 2014)

LIKES:

1. I'm normally attracted to intelligent men that don't mind bantering with me and bouncing ideas around. You can be highly intelligent but don't like to bounce ideas back. I need both.

2. I'm more attracted to ones that can support me with feedback about my work (math, writing, art, STEM) I prefer ones that are real about their evaluations but can still be positive about it. Someone saying "that sucks," offers little thought into it as much as someone saying "I liked that." I want to hear every thought process and then if there is something they didn't like provide a solution.

3. Ones that can go down the rabbit hole but still maintain a grasp on reality are a plus in my book. Like I love to daydream about going to Antarctica. A partner willing to sit around the computer looking up all the fun things to do, ships to book, and places to stay with me (even knowing we might never go) are fun adventure exercises to me.

4. Normally they have to have some things in common with me, I find I need to date a nerd/geek. I'm a complete geek with a lot of things games, comic books, sci-fi, anime, and fantasy. I don't need them to like the exact tropes but be somewhere in the neighborhood to understand my excitement and compulsive odd side.

5. I'm a bigot to bigotry, irony at it's best. But they don't have to be a saint to certain individuals as long as that dislike is directed at that individual and not the group. Basically, I don't mind neutrality but common sense with a good heart goes a long way with me.

6. Makes me feel loved. I normally don't reciprocate feelings or even notice them until the gentleman shows affection towards me.

7. I have a hard time trusting and falling in love. I'm a ball of joy and sunshine 85% of my day. Still, I can have bad days. When I show those bad days to someone and they don't run away or worse throw and use my feelings against me, then I really start to bond to the person that last a lifetime.

8. Isn't jealous. This is such a turn on when he trusts me. I'm a very friendly person, someone that's with me needs to understand and trust me to make the right choices. They also can't get jealous if I'm off doing amazing things but supportive in my endeavors.

9. He respects me for who I am and doesn't try to change me. He understands I'll lose my keys, glasses, and purse pretty much every day but keeps his cool. He understands that I need days to ramble to him about the universe but also needs countless hours by myself with him nearby to lose myself in all my projects and hobbies.

10. Ultimately someone that makes me feel safe and creates a home, willing to compromise in disagreements.

11. They have to love dogs. It's a deal-breaker. If they kick my dog or hate dogs, I can't bring them in. I love puppies and pretty much all fur babies. They also have to be ok with beekeeping. I love my bees and my gardening.

12. Not wish/washy. That hot and cold stuff is a turn-off.

*INXJ* death stare, I don't know somehow that analyzing stare down is hot. I find once you have their trust, they are passionate soul searching, and devoted lovers.


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

^Wow--that was such a great response, I feel like revisiting the question now. Usually, I don't like these types of questions at all, as it feels so weird to narrow it down. But that was really thought-provoking.^

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Recently I've been thinking about exploration--I think I tend to be attracted to the prospect of exploring someone or exploring with someone. Perhaps an exploratory attitude is essential for attraction (I mean, for me to have that attitude).

For intellectual attraction, it might mean that the person has some interesting knowledge that I don't--like perhaps a hobby or an interest that they know a lot about. That prospect of learning can be attractive. I think even disagreements (not violence) can be attractive if they result in a deeper understanding (and mutual respect). Better than not knowing.

For emotional attraction, I suppose a man who is aware of other's emotions is attractive, who can accept and understand people different than him. That's always admirable. Who shares some values and who cares deeply about some things--even if they aren't exactly the same. But it's attractive. I'm always impressed by men who can understand others--who are less ignorant even if they haven't had those exact experiences because they are men. Something like being rude to a waitress would be a huge turn-off. I'm a little confused about this one, tbh.

Trustworthiness is super important--so being considerate of distrust and acting in a trustworthy way, especially for a man--so as in being respectful physically--not intimidating with violence or pushiness. That is probably part of physical attraction--I like when men are also understanding about boundaries and differences. Most attractive when you realize a man is someone you can trust to protect you with his strength, not hurt you or allow others to hurt you (I am the same way, but it's especially important with men as they usually are stronger than me).

Physical exploration is attractive--I think both exploring the environment and also the other person.

Idk--I tried.

Things that are a turn off:

Not listening to me or considering my view--if I'm wrong I want to know how and why and hopefully I will learn from it. Just ignoring my thoughts and views though, like they don't exist (or not being able to grasp them) is not attractive, especially if it results in something I value being ruined.

I mean, I don't need every single thought addressed. I talk a lot. but feeling like I am just being dismissed a lot--that is a problem. What would be the point of having a discussion if they don't find my contributions valuable? I am interested in mutual enjoyment, not just being tolerated (and vice versa). So I don't find being dismissed attractive. If I am ignorant or wrong about something, I want to learn why and more about it.

Violence of any kind. Rudeness to customer service workers. Bigotry and unnecessary rage towards vulnerable groups. Destroying things--especially living things--for no reason.


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## Handsome Dyke (Oct 4, 2012)

Self-possession; square, spare, clean-cut appearance, introversion, and a strong aversion to the feminine gender role.


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## Dezir (Nov 25, 2013)

incision said:


> This includes LGBT ladies as well as hetero ladies. Doesn't matter if you take this thread as indicative of physical attractiveness, personality or both.
> 
> I find high fluid intelligence but bound within logical frameworks, attractive in males. That combined with nerdishness (not geekiness) and gentleness/kindness with animals, children and myself of course, to be the 'slay me' trifecta.


I'm not a lady, but I think it's not about having money or looks, it's about the attitude. Don't get me wrong, money and looks matter, but the attitude is the most important. If you go on a date from the premise _"she won't like me"_ or _"I will make a fool of myself"_, that's all you will ever thing about during the date, as opposed to getting to know her or having a pleasant conversation.

Other than that, I would say be yourself, but in the limit of common sense. Now, there's a good question, be yourself vs be charming? If you try to be charming do you stop being yourself? It depends how much do you try to be charming. People are on their best behavior at the beginning, there's nothing wrong with being on your best behavior, it's part of that common sense mentioned above. But I don't think you should lie or use pick-up lines learned from others or the internet, because it's not really you. You may get the girl, and then what? have her realise it's not really you?

I've seen people who are either too self-centered and end up being jerks or not self-centered at all and end up being desperate or used. Try to make yourself feel good, without exaggerating, and without making the other person feel bad. There is nothing selfish with caring about yourself while respecting others. It's not selfish to make yourself have a good time, as everyone likes to have a good time and you shouldn't sacrifice yourself too much so you end up being used, as long as you don't make others have a bad time in the process.

Although there is the stereotype that _"jerks get the girls"_ it also depends what kind of girls they get and what king of girl you want. Just like there are different men there are different women. But in general, I would say women appreciate good character, being respectful and having dignity, this is about attitude. But at the same time, the conversation shouldn't be dull, you should have fun with each other, a good time. So it's important to be entertaining, smile, know how to joke without getting easily offended. This is more about learning skills than an attitude.

Ultimately, I believe you should work on yourself because relationships come down to a question: what do you have to offer? Let's skip the Hollywood image with guy walking from explosion without getting burned or instant and perfect love. If you love someone, you love that person because reasons, that person has something to offer, whether it's looks, having a good character, being funny, having a good reputation, being caring, or whatever is the reason why you like that person. If you like him or her, that person as done its part. If you want to be liked in return, you have to have something to offer in return. Your character, being considerate of the way other people feel, matters. Being funny is another perk in what you have to offer. Your attitude is another perk in what you have to offer. Your image is another perk in what you have to offer, would you date someone who has a reputation for being cruel or a jerk? Unsurprisingly, being handsome or good looking is a big step in what you have to offer, which is why 90% of people tend to take care of themselves to look as good as possible.


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## incision (May 23, 2010)

Dezir said:


> I'm not a lady, but I think it's not about having money or looks, it's about the attitude. Don't get me wrong, money and looks matter, but the attitude is the most important. If you go on a date from the premise _"she won't like me"_ or _"I will make a fool of myself"_, that's all you will ever thing about during the date, as opposed to getting to know her or having a pleasant conversation.
> 
> Other than that, I would say be yourself, but in the limit of common sense. Now, there's a good question, be yourself vs be charming? If you try to be charming do you stop being yourself? It depends how much do you try to be charming. People are on their best behavior at the beginning, there's nothing wrong with being on your best behavior, it's part of that common sense mentioned above. But I don't think you should lie or use pick-up lines learned from others or the internet, because it's not really you. You may get the girl, and then what? have her realise it's not really you?
> 
> ...


Dude, this thread is for us hetero ladies or LGBTers, and what we want. It's not advice for hetero males. -facepalm-


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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)

Good core as long as you do not have to dig deep to see it. 

Dark sense of humor on the other hand _shrugs_


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## Dezir (Nov 25, 2013)

incision said:


> Dude, this thread is for us hetero ladies or LGBTers, and what we want. It's not advice for hetero males. -facepalm-


Even with that in mind, what I said still holds some weight regardless of combination. Attitude is the most important. It's not about having money or looks, it's about the attitude. If you go on a date with a defeatist attitude like _"he/she won't like me"_ or _"I will make a fool of myself"_, you will only think about that and not about getting to know him/her or having a pleasant conversation. It's also important to work for a relationship, so yes, work is important. I think this works for all combinations, but you had to focus on the fact that I told it from a hetero perspective completely oblivious to the fact it's not a hetero only thing, it's a human thing, so sorry not sorry.


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## letsrunlikecrazy (Sep 21, 2015)

I have standards, then I have triggers.

The standards are logical and straightforward. I want to be with someone that I can actually share a life with. That means he needs to be responsible, considerate, loyal, etc. etc. 

The triggers are irrational, emotion-driven, and I don't always fully recognize or understand them.

Some of the triggers:

When a guy has a crush on me and it's obvious. Even if I wasn't attracted to him before I'll get curious about him and start finding reasons to find him attractive.
When a guy inadvertently has a "pure" moment, e.g. smiling like a little boy at something that makes him happy
When he has a really gentle, soothing, calm voice
When his behavior challenges my understanding and makes me see things a whole new way
When he's a bit of a rebel. I'm not looking for a Bonnie and Clyde pairing or the Grease experience, but, well, I just generally prefer people who are comfortable being themselves and aren't afraid to ruffle some feathers.
When he's frank and open, to the point of rawness or TMI even


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## Dezir (Nov 25, 2013)

letsrunlikecrazy said:


> I have standards, then I have triggers.
> 
> The standards are logical and straightforward. I want to be with someone that I can actually share a life with. That means he needs to be responsible, considerate, loyal, etc. etc.
> 
> ...


Very good list. I wonder what it's like for women when it comes to being approached by men? Men usually give each other's advice, on how to attract a partner and so on.

Do women do the same or they try to be as good looking as possible and wait to be approached? Because, I got to be honest, I think guys care a lot more about looks then girls do, and girls know that, it's not like the majority of guys don't make it obvious.

When it comes to men talking how to attract a partner and so on, I have mixed feelings about it, you can talk about tactics all day long, but all the tactics in the world won't help you if you're not fundamentally an attractive person. Even if you'll be able to fake it with tactics for a while, you'll eventually be found out.

When I say attractiveness in this particular case, I don't mean facial symmetry and looking like a model. But even in that case, regardless of how naturally hot you are, you can do something towards making the most of your looks and having a look that conveys something about you.

I'm talking about: being in good shape, having a good haircut, a good style, and being a look which indicates that you are somebody, that you are succesful, that you are ambitious, that you have status. Because, as guys say, those are the type of things that a girl is looking for. Girls are looking for guys to be attractive, but not for the sake of looks themselves, but as a sign of who you are as a person.

So it's not about being physically good-looking in a genetic way, it's about making the most of your appearance and having a look.

Also, in caring yourself, posture is a huge part of how you look. How you move is a huge part of how you look, so being physically fit and athletic, having good posture, all those things are going to help. It's not like _"you are either born with it or not"_, you can make a ton of difference in your physical appearance. Better hairstyle, better clothes, can make a difference.

So attractiveness doesn't mean physical attractiveness, it means your look not your looks.

Beside attractiveness, an important trait for men is assertiveness. The ability to ask for what you want. The ability to go after what you want. The ability to stand up for yourself.

Why would this be attractive? If you do stand up for yourself and it wents well for you that means you have status. It means you are somebody. If when you ask for something you get smaked down and told no you probably stopped asking for things very very quickly. Also for the girl, it's nice to be around a guy who is going to stand up and ask for things every once in a while, because that means as a girl you don't have to. It fundamentally makes your life better, makes your life easier.

Even in the modern day, most men aside from any relation with attractiveness with girls, are fundamentally way too unassertive. Most people are unassertive and could probably do way better in life by being more assertive.

So assertiveness is a good trait to adopt in general, go after what you want, take a risk. Ask for what you want, stand up for yourself, make a firm decision. When a girl asks you a question: what kind of music do you like, the actual answer doesn't answer, but you trying to get the right answer looks really bad, you just having an honest answer looks much better.

Be assertive, trust yourself, go after what you want, stand up for yourself. Even if you don't feel like it, have the courage to just go for it.

The next trait is assuredness, which is similar to but not like assertiveness. Because they both seem to correlate with confidence. If you're confident you're likely to ask for what you want. Also if you're confident you're likely to act in an assured way, you're likely to assume you are right, you're likely to assume you are attractive, likely to assume the girl likes you, those kind of things. But they are disctinct.

For example: You could have someone who is assured but not assertive. Maybe they are afraid to go walk up and talk to someone, but if someone talks to them they can act confidently. You can also have someone who is assertive but not assured. They can have the guy who walks up to women and starts saying stuff depricating things and starts downplaying themselves. So they are not the same thing, they are 2 distinct things.

So what is assuredness? Assuredness is your belief that you are worth it. Your belief that you are worthwhile, that you are of value, your belief that you are right when you make decisions, your belief that she is going to like you. And if you don't believe it, how is anybody else going to?

When you go in and start talking to someone, you have a frame, an idea of what is true about the world, and you're trying to put that frame across to the other person and get them to buy into it. If your frame itself is not helping you, if your frame yourself is something that if true would get the girl to like you, that if it's making you an attractive person, you're just setting yourself up to fail.

It's much better in general to take the assumption that you are right and are attractive and people like you and the other side of the conversation can try and disprove if they like, but you may as well at least be on your own team in this case. Imagine going in and taking the opposite approach, it's just self-sabotage, it's just not going to work.

While attractiveness, assertiveness and assuredness are important and generally agreed upon by most men. The next trait gives somewhat of mixed feelings, some men like it, others don't, some see it as a good trait that makes you more attractive, others see it as exactly what is it to be avoided for it makes you a wuss or needy and so on. But the problem is not this 4th trait itself, but lack of the first 3 traits. If you have the first 3 traits as well and this 4th trait, you're good, it is a continuation. If you only have this 4th trait or overfocus on it to overcompensate then you're not good and in that needy or wuss point some men are talking about.

More specifically, the 4th trait can be a multiplyer if you already have those first 3 traits in place, don't overuse this trait at the expense of others. Attentiveness - being aware of what is going on with the girl, paying attention, remembering things, participating very actively in the conversation in the relationship, etc.

A lot of men, lacking in attractiveness, assertiveness and assuredness try to make up for it with attentiveness. They remember every little detail of the conversation, and to the girl who doesn't remember any of it it's just looks creepy and needy. It's like the stalker guy who doesn't have the courage to approach the girl but knows every little detail of her life, that's weird and creepy. Or the friend who has never expressed any sign of love because he's afraid to, but knows every little detail and obsesses over the girl. That's overlyattentive without value, that's all bad.

But, if you are attractive, assertive and assured, if you are triggering and sparking attraction in a girl, being attentive as well will massively magnify it. Here is why: girls have 2 reproductive strategies (1) sleep with the highest value guy no matter what (2) sleep with a guy who will stick around and help her raise kids. And the perfect mix is the high value guy that for some reason finds them special and cares about them and will stay around even though the girl doesn't deserve him.

And that's what you're doing if you're a high value guy and are also attentive. If you're also paying attention to her, if you're also aware of her needs, if you're also doing little things to make her experience better. Being attentive is going to help you in the sense of being present in the conversation and not in your head and all over the place, not focused on what happened 5 minutes ago and not focused on the agenda you have down the road. So it's going to make you more charismatic, more interesting, all those kind of things as well. Being attentive, showing that, whatever high value you have, there is an avenue to the girl getting it, showing that potentially there is something special between you and her, will help you, if and only if, you are already a high value guy. If you're a low value guy being attentive, it will probably come off as creepy. But that said, it is a massive massive useful trait and it's something that a lot of guys are missing.

A lot of guys know how to be attentive, but they don't know how to be assertive and assured. On the other side, a lot of guys know how to be cocky jerks, but they don't know how to be real, they don't know how to be genuine, they don't know how to actually connect with the girl. So if you have that as well, it's going to put you on a whole another tier in terms of the girls getting attracted to you and really falling in love with you.

The 5th and final trait is also one that can be easily overdone and that works better in conjunction with other traits, it is aliveness - the willingness to take risks, the willingness to do something crazy.

The reason you can take this too far, think about it like this, if you think _"class clown"_ is that a positive or negative label? not really entierly positive. Yes, it does have some positives to it, but it's not on the whole what you want. But think about this: you're at a party, and some people want to jump in the pool while other people are afriad to take their shirt off. They are afraid of getting in trouble with the police and stuff like that. Which guys are more likely to be found attractive? the ones that have no troubles jumping into the pool are the ones found more attractive.

First and foremost, the trait of aliveness is going to put you in a lot of good situations, it's also the risk-taking mentality, the risk-taking philosophy, that atttitude, if that's present in your interactions, it's going to the girls taking a lot more risks with you, which will lead to a lot more positive risks in your favor. In general, it is an attractive trait, risk-taking is an attractive trait. Why? It shows that when you've taken risks in the past it has worked out in your favor. It hasn't been punished, you're not dead from taking risks.

In a very real sense, things like riding a motorcycle, even worse riding a motorcycle without a helmet is dangerous and stupid, but girls do get attracted to guys who do it because they've done this stupid thing and lived. I'm not saying go buy a motorcycle, if anything I'd rather recommend you don't, I'm not encouraging risk death-defying risk-taking things, and getting dead, but I'm saying there is a correlation, so if you can in small ways indicate that you're willing to take risks, that is going to be perceived as a very positive thing. Take a risk to be a leader, take a risk to say something controversial, all these things are going to massively help.

Again, don't be crazy with aliveness and don't be just the guy who becomes the dancing monkey, the clown, the entertainer, you want to through these alive behavior also convey attractiveness, assertiveness and assuredness, those core high value behaviors. But again, aliveness is really going to put you on the radar, get you noticed and put you in a lot of great situations.

That's the complete list: attractiveness, assertiveness, assuredness, attentiveness and aliveness.

That's pretty much a summary of what men are thought when it comes to how to attract a partner, more or less, but the advice generally gravitates around this area. Is there an equivalent for women?


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## letsrunlikecrazy (Sep 21, 2015)

Dezir said:


> Very good list. I wonder what it's like for women when it comes to being approached by men? Men usually give each other's advice, on how to attract a partner and so on.
> 
> Do women do the same or they try to be as good looking as possible and wait to be approached? Because, I got to be honest, I think guys care a lot more about looks then girls do, and girls know that, it's not like the majority of guys don't make it obvious.
> 
> ...


tl;dr

I'm not answering your question because it's off-topic to the rest of the thread.


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## ponpiri (Apr 30, 2017)

ponpiri said:


> MUST-HAVES: intelligent, thoughtful/introspective, considerate, decent manners, nice eye brows, neat and self-contained
> 
> extras for men: FULL lips, slightly effeminate look/none of that "masculine" bullshit, sensitive and confident
> 
> Honest and forthcoming if we're talking friendships and relationships. I don't really care about that if it's just a wham bam and done.


Heh. After my last relationship, kindness/manners is 2nd to intelligence and another must-have is being happy with themselves. I guess that's confidence but people behave differently when they're actually happy with their lives.


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## 497882 (Nov 6, 2017)

incision said:


> This includes LGBT ladies as well as hetero ladies. Doesn't matter if you take this thread as indicative of physical attractiveness, personality or both.
> 
> I find high fluid intelligence but bound within logical frameworks, attractive in males. That combined with nerdishness (not geekiness) and gentleness/kindness with animals, children and myself of course, to be the 'slay me' trifecta.


Do you mean in general population or for individuals specifically? My type is problematic, destructive, chaotic and probably gonna stab me in my sleep. Also sexually provocative and overly flamboyant. Oh or a yandere. Yandere are so great.


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