# Which do you value more: Intelligence or Kindness?



## nO_d3N1AL (Apr 25, 2014)

I saw this question in an MBTI test and I was surprised by my answer. I feel like I may not be a true INTJ (or NT) for this, but I value kindness over intelligence personally. I was wondering what everyone else thinks of this?


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## creationsh (Jun 3, 2015)

Kindness. Intelligent bitches with no shread of kindness can live on an isolated island with bars around them for all I care. 

Sent from my Nexus 6 using Tapatalk


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## Mr Oops (Jun 29, 2016)

Intelligence from myself. Kindness (Fe) from others.


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## Aladdin Sane (May 10, 2016)

Kindness.

But I can't imagine that someone who is kind could be unintelligent. I can't think of anyone like that or imagine what that looks like.


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## L'Enfant Terrible (Jun 8, 2014)

nO_d3N1AL said:


> I saw this question in an MBTI test and I was surprised by my answer. I feel like I may not be a true INTJ (or NT) for this, but I value kindness over intelligence personally. I was wondering what everyone else thinks of this?


Why do I have to choose? 

Do people somehow think these two cancel each other or something?

The kindest people I've met were also the most intelligent people I've met.

I prefer both to be present at least to some extent because intelligence without kindness is dangerous and kindness without intelligence is blind.


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## probablyINFP (Aug 6, 2016)

The difference is, kindness is a choice, while being intelligent is not. What do I value more? Kindness!


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## Aladdin Sane (May 10, 2016)

L'Enfant Terrible said:


> Why do I have to choose?
> 
> Do people somehow think these two cancel each other or something?
> 
> ...


I agree with this, especially the bolded part. I think the two go hand in hand. There are also certain people I know who are considered to be 'intelligent' because they have a degree in Math or whatever but they are assholes, I wouldn't think of someone as intelligent just because they have a high IQ or did well in school. It There are different kinds of intelligence / different definitions, but when I think of intelligence, I mostly think of kind people.


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## Aladdin Sane (May 10, 2016)

probablyINFP said:


> The difference is, *kindness is a choice*, while being intelligent is not. What do I value more? Kindness!


It isn't. Some people are genuinely kind and others just act like it. Those people are 'nice'. It's different from being actually kind.


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## probablyINFP (Aug 6, 2016)

Aladdin Sane said:


> It isn't. Some people are genuinely kind and others just act like it. Those people are 'nice'. It's different from being actually kind.


So, you mean someone forced them to be kind? I don't think so. At some point in their live they choose to be that way.


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## Aladdin Sane (May 10, 2016)

probablyINFP said:


> So, you mean someone forced them to be kind? I don't think so. At some point in their live they choose to be that way.


OK.


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## L'Enfant Terrible (Jun 8, 2014)

Aladdin Sane said:


> I agree with this, especially the bolded part. I think the two go hand in hand. There are also certain people I know who are considered to be 'intelligent' because they have a degree in Math or whatever but they are assholes, I wouldn't think of someone as intelligent just because they have a high IQ or did well in school. It There are different kinds of intelligence / different definitions, but when I think of intelligence, I mostly think of kind people.


Exactly. Well, intelligent people can be downright evil, I guess what we both mean is that we prefer wise people - no wise person would deem fair to be anything but kind.


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## Aladdin Sane (May 10, 2016)

L'Enfant Terrible said:


> Exactly. Well, intelligent people can be downright evil, I guess what we both mean is that we prefer wise people - no wise person would deem fair to be anything but kind.


Yeah, I mean, someone could be intelligent in the sense that they have a Phd and won a national Physics competition but what if they are a racist for example? I couldn't consider someone irrational like that intelligent just because they have superior mental capabilities in some aspects.


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## Glenda Gnome Starr (May 12, 2011)

I would value kindness over intelligence because... well, who wants to be around mean people? It is no fun to be belittled or personally attacked by a mean person, even a very smart mean person. I agree with the previous poster, who said that being kind is a choice.


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## nO_d3N1AL (Apr 25, 2014)

L'Enfant Terrible said:


> Why do I have to choose?
> 
> Do people somehow think these two cancel each other or something?
> 
> ...


I agree, but there's definitely some kind but not very smart people out there, and some real brainboxes that are arrogant assholes. The question is more about each one in isolation - i.e. if you could be dumb but kind or smart but selfish and inconsiderate, which you would rather be?


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## L'Enfant Terrible (Jun 8, 2014)

nO_d3N1AL said:


> I agree, but there's definitely some kind but not very smart people out there, and some real brainboxes that are arrogant assholes. The question is more about each one in isolation - i.e. if you could be dumb but kind or smart but selfish and inconsiderate, which you would rather be?


Obviously every sane person would choose to be smart but inconsiderate but for others to be dumb but kind.


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## sometimes (Dec 26, 2013)

I can't really answer this question because my definition of *true* intelligence includes *true* kindness. But intelligence is more of an main overarching value for me so it includes many other values including kindness. So intelligence is a main value of mind whereas kindness is more of a sub-value but *my* definition of intelligence I can't really seperate it from kindness and vice versa. I guess I would have to pick intelligence though as it my main value which includes kindness... I've met a lot of people who think they value kindness but are not intelligent and actually just come across as fake over the top 'kind'. So by that standard I'd definitely value intelligence. I can't stand stupid people who think they are so nice but are actually horrible and there are plenty of them so I choose intelligence as it covers everything for me if its true intelligence by my standards.


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## nO_d3N1AL (Apr 25, 2014)

L'Enfant Terrible said:


> Obviously every sane person would choose to be smart but inconsiderate but for others to be dumb but kind.


Perhaps "sane" is the wrong word here. "Rational" (in the classical economic "optimizing agents" sense) might be a better fit.


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## L'Enfant Terrible (Jun 8, 2014)

nO_d3N1AL said:


> Perhaps "sane" is the wrong word here. "Rational" (in the classical economic "optimizing agents" sense) might be a better fit.


Yes, rational is a better fit.


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## SimplyRivers (Sep 5, 2015)

Why would intelligence = meanness? 

Unless, you're saying that one is exchanging their kindness so they can be intelligent. However, kindness and intelligence are interchangeable, they're traits.


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## Asmodaeus (Feb 15, 2015)

L'Enfant Terrible said:


> I prefer both to be present at least to some extent because intelligence without kindness is dangerous and kindness without intelligence is blind.





L'Enfant Terrible said:


> Obviously every sane person would choose to be smart but inconsiderate but for others to be dumb but kind.


I pledge myself to your wise teachings :kitteh: :laughing:


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## CHLOELILI (May 25, 2016)

If you are kind that means that you try To understand people and use your intelligence.


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## lavendersnow (Jan 13, 2016)

Kindness easily. Wasn't even a competition to me. I can't stand to be around smart people who can't carry on a good conversation, be pleasant or kind. You may as well not be human, but a computer.


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## Derange At 170 (Nov 26, 2013)

I think kindness has far more utilitarian value than intelligence. Speaking of both concepts within the context of humanity. Obviously, if we were 'robbed' of our intelligence (as in, our hyper-intelligence as a feature compared to other species of animal), we would also be robbed of our humanity. But I'm talking more about intelligence as a feature of individuals of an already intelligence species.

Kindness, towards our children, family, peers, loved ones, etc. encourages the well being of humanity. Whereas intellingence may play a part in realizing that well being (i.e. problem solving skills that could solve problems that cause suffering, could help end that suffering), it is not necessary for well being.

Kindness in its purest form (this doesn't include unkind act _in the name of_ kindness; imperialist wars fought in the name of liberating others) pertains to human wellbeing per definition. Intelligence does not.

If I were to look at it egotistically, then too kindness is of more value. Because a kind person would not treat me badly. Whereas an intelligent person may or may not.

So yeah, kindness.



SimplyRivers said:


> Why would intelligence = meanness?


Nowhere in the OP was it stated that these were supposed to be mutually exclusive.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

L'Enfant Terrible said:


> Exactly. Well, intelligent people can be downright evil, I guess what we both mean is that we prefer wise people - no wise person would deem fair to be anything but kind.


That's how I think of intelligence too, more like wisdom. Otherwise I don't think of it as intelligence as a general trait, but more like selective intelligence. Whereas a person with wisdom has the potential to apply both intellect and kindness to many situations when it's called for. 

I value intelligence more in myself - it serves my motivations and such more than kindness would (people want to be around you more if you're kind and I can't tolerate much of that  Also not great at the "love your enemy" thing). In others I value them more or less equally. Even though how they manage it is a bit of a mystery to me.


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## L'Enfant Terrible (Jun 8, 2014)

ninjahitsawall said:


> That's how I think of intelligence too, more like wisdom. Otherwise I don't think of it as intelligence as a general trait, but more like selective intelligence. Whereas a person with wisdom has the potential to apply both intellect and kindness to many situations when it's called for.
> 
> I value intelligence more in myself - it serves my motivations and such more than kindness would (people want to be around you more if you're kind and I can't tolerate much of that  Also not great at the "love your enemy" thing). In others I value them more or less equally. Even though how they manage it is a bit of a mystery to me.


Most people want to be around you if you're kind in order to use you. However there are those people who genuinely like kindness. Most often then not these are the people that are genuinely kind themselves.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

L'Enfant Terrible said:


> Most people want to be around you if you're kind in order to use you. However there are those people who genuinely like kindness. Most often then not these are the people that are genuinely kind themselves.


Sometimes people who don't really have much experience being kind (except to get approval from others or be liked), think kindness is naivety. I've noticed it because there are people who will say I'm "nice" and then they start to treat me like I'm naive and say condescending things. Something to the effect of "be careful what you do on internet", like I seem like the type that needs to be warned of getting taken advantage of, lacks 'street smarts' (are there internet street smarts?) etc. Then I start to feel like I have to distance myself from these people because for some reason they are drawn to my "niceness" and to treating me like a child. They also (maybe not consciously) act in ways that seem like they themselves are trying to manipulate you. 

These are the people I've come to avoid. :dry: Intelligence OTOH can intimidate people, even though that's not any more valid than assuming naivety from kindness.

I guess this thread is a bit like asking if it's better to be feared or loved.


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## L'Enfant Terrible (Jun 8, 2014)

ninjahitsawall said:


> Sometimes people who don't really have much experience being kind (except to get approval from others or be liked), think kindness is naivety. I've noticed it because there are people who will say I'm "nice" and then they start to treat me like I'm naive and say condescending things. Something to the effect of "be careful what you do on internet", like I seem like the type that needs to be warned of getting taken advantage of, lacks 'street smarts' (are there internet street smarts?) etc. Then I start to feel like I have to distance myself from these people because for some reason they are drawn to my "niceness" and to treating me like a child. They also (maybe not consciously) act in ways that seem like they themselves are trying to manipulate you.
> 
> These are the people I've come to avoid. :dry: Intelligence OTOH can intimidate people, even though that's not any more valid than assuming naivety from kindness.
> 
> I guess this thread is a bit like asking if it's better to be feared or loved.


Feared, definitely.


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## SilverKelpie (Mar 9, 2015)

Kindness, unquestionably. I'd be happy enough around a sweet person who isn't very bright. I would not be happy around an intelligent person who is unkind. 

I'm a bit puzzled by the people in this thread who insist that you have to be intelligent to be kind, and if you aren't kind, you aren't intelligent. Seems like equating two different traits because they are both valued and people would prefer to think they always go hand-in-hand.


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## furryfury (Sep 20, 2015)

I'm going to go against the grain here and say I value intelligence over kindness. Sure, kindness is nice and has some social currency, but intelligence has more applications and is a lot more advantageous. At most junctures in my life where I've had to choose between doing the nice/generous/considerate thing and doing the smart thing, I've chosen the latter.

"And World Peace".


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## avgsuperheroine (Aug 26, 2016)

In others, I admire someone who is interesting and has a good sense of humor the most, and I think both of those things require intelligence. And for some reason when I look back, most of my SOs and closest friends have a little bit of a mean streak to them. Maybe I'd call it snark.


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## Miss Bingley (Jun 28, 2013)

It's like the question on the 16personalities test - would you rather have your child be kind or smart?. I hate that my initial reaction is intelligence, but I would choose kindness over intelligence any day. Kindness and compassion has meant more and more to me as time goes on.


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## olonny (Jun 9, 2014)

Probably it depends on the context.... I do apreciate intelligence over a lot of things though


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## Marshy (Apr 10, 2016)

creationsh said:


> Kindness. Intelligent bitches with no shread of kindness can live on an isolated island with bars around them for all I care.
> 
> Sent from my Nexus 6 using Tapatalk


you don't sound very kind


Hmm, intelligence or kindness.
That's a tough one... I feel as if most people that blindly value intelligence over kindness aren't intelligent enough to actually see the benefits that are reaped from being a kind person. Maybe they value intelligence wholly because they themselves lack it. Or maybe everyone wants to be smarter than they already are no matter how smart one actually is.


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## JayShambles (Aug 9, 2016)

Well, I know I can be a real arrogant prick a lot of the time and a "Mr. Think I know it all". 
But in my heart I truly desire to be kinder.. I value loving kindness over everything.


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## Marshy (Apr 10, 2016)

JayShambles said:


> Well, I know I can be a real arrogant prick a lot of the time and a "Mr. Think I know it all".
> But in my heart I truly desire to be kinder.. I value loving kindness over everything.


Arrogance doesn't equate to intelligence though. It sounds as if you're confusing intelligence with blind confidence


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## JayShambles (Aug 9, 2016)

Marshy14 said:


> Arrogance doesn't equate to intelligence though. It sounds as if you're confusing intelligence with blind confidence


No, people don't see arrogance as kindness.. And thinking i know it all doesn't make me intelligent.. 

I wanted to clear up that I maybe a little hypocritical before I decide what I value. 

Yay, nay? 

I answered the question didn't I?


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## creationsh (Jun 3, 2015)

Marshy14 said:


> you don't sound very kind
> 
> 
> Hmm, intelligence or kindness.
> That's a tough one... I feel as if most people that blindly value intelligence over kindness aren't intelligent enough to actually see the benefits that are reaped from being a kind person. Maybe they value intelligence wholly because they themselves lack it. Or maybe everyone wants to be smarter than they already are no matter how smart one actually is.


Not trying to be kind, just being real and being firm about my position. People who can't live in harmony with others, shouldn't live in the same area as people who do.


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## Marshy (Apr 10, 2016)

creationsh said:


> *Not trying to be kind*, just being real and being firm about my position. People who can't live in harmony with others, shouldn't live in the same area as people who do.


Why cant you just live in harmony :'(


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## Clare_Bare (Apr 6, 2015)

I am an ENTP and responded with intelligence.
But that does not imply that I have no kindness!
It's more that I tend to convey my kindness in practical ways that are more relevant to the person's circumstances - and I use intelligence to determine those perameters.
My Fe is also very weak, so I am not naturally 'emotionally' expressive although I would like to be ...


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## creationsh (Jun 3, 2015)

Marshy14 said:


> Why cant you just live in harmony :'(


#2 given that you can only have one or the other. a double standard must take place. 

Sent from my Nexus 6 using Tapatalk


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## HGy (Jul 3, 2016)

Those results were predictable


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## kimpossible119 (May 15, 2014)

nO_d3N1AL said:


> I saw this question in an MBTI test and I was surprised by my answer. I feel like I may not be a true INTJ (or NT) for this, but I value kindness over intelligence personally. I was wondering what everyone else thinks of this?


I'm an INTJ, but I would say kindness as well. Intelligence is great, but if an intelligent person lacks kindness, they become irritating as shit.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Exquisitor (Sep 15, 2015)

Kindness I can go without. If you put something like decency, idealism or ethics I might have a hard time choosing, but kindness, like niceness, can be this false useless thing that glorifies irrational feelings and gets in the way of achieving the best outcome for the sake of feeling "right". For me the concept doesn't really capture the important emotional/meaningful aspects of not being a pointlessly asocial human calculator.


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## TracyCook21 (Sep 7, 2016)

Intelligence. Kindness can be bothersome in people. It can cause discomfort on my part. I'd rather talk for hours to an intelligent individual than listen to a kind person yammer on about saving the planet, starving children, and kids.


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## SouDesuNyan (Sep 8, 2015)

Intelligence implies kindness, otherwise you're just clever.


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## TracyCook21 (Sep 7, 2016)

SouDesuNyan said:


> Intelligence implies kindness, otherwise you're just clever.


I think kindness is unintelligent though. I think it's necessary to fake it to survive, but ultimately pointless.


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## SouDesuNyan (Sep 8, 2015)

TracyCook21 said:


> I think kindness is unintelligent though. I think it's necessary to fake it to survive, but ultimately pointless.


I'll try to make the connection between intelligence and kindness..

What is intelligence? A teacher teaches you something new. It's not simply a transfer of information from your teacher's brain to yours. The teacher is trying to convince you that the information is logically consistent. Ultimately, you are the one who determine whether the information is true or not. So, how does one determine whether something is true? No action is necessary-- the intelligence within you just "knows". Everything is subjective. How do you know that 1 + 1 = 2? Is it simply a repetition of what you have seen on a white board? Or, do you just know? When we say a teacher teaches you something, this is actually not very accurate. It's more like the teacher reveals to you what the intelligence already know. There's not much thinking involved.

So, what does this have to do with kindness? By going deeper into the aforementioned intelligence, you can slowly detach yourself from thoughts, feelings, memory, and senses. Notice that these 4 things are all involuntary, which means that they are not you. The thoughts flowing in and out triggered by senses and past conditioning, the body's reaction to your thought which we call feelings, they are all involuntary events, and thus, not you. You are actually the observer these events. Most of the time, we are so attached to our thoughts and feelings that it clouds our intelligence, i.e. our true identity. You might notice that everyone is suffering from this condition. This is where kindness happens, by seeing yourself in others and realize that everyone is suffering from this.

This is just a summary, and probably doesn't make any sense, so I'm just going to stop here.


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## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

nO_d3N1AL said:


> I saw this question in an MBTI test and I was surprised by my answer. I feel like I may not be a true INTJ (or NT) for this, but I value kindness over intelligence personally. I was wondering what everyone else thinks of this?


In an ''*idealist,*'' world - it would be Kindness™, in a 100%_ high-functioning_ ''_realist_'' [my world] it would be intellectualism™.

In ''this world,'' however -- neither prove to be beneficial, thus, I value intelligence [not-intellectualism], overall else - as intelligent species learn (&) thus, fetishize alturistic flourishing - which often, leads to kindness -- [Subset of intelligence].

Essentially, neither intellectualism nor kindness seem to keep me out of debt, nor without sufficient physical (&) mental illness - while intelligence (e.g., strategy - tact - navigation - problem-solving) all seem to.

[HR][/HR]


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## Caveman Dreams (Nov 3, 2015)

Too hard to answer. 

In regards to the workplace? (intelligence)
In regards to friendships? (actually prefer loyalty)
In regards to sexual relationships? (kindness over intelligence, but neither are are at top of list).


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## megmento (Jul 26, 2016)

Intelligence. Anyone can pretend to be kind but if someone pretends to be intelligent he rather looks otherwise. Though I'm more inclined to have the latter. 

Sent from my SM-E700H using Tapatalk


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## dawnriddler (Sep 14, 2016)

Intelligence


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## killemdeader (Dec 22, 2012)

Emotional intelligence or at least not being completely self-centered and able to understand that other people have feelings, is very valuable to me. There's plenty of people who mistake kindness for weakness or lack of intelligence, but some of the smartest people are feelers, and even NT/STs should be capable of at least base levels or attempts at empathy on a micro scale. Intelligence is relative and not a choice, kindness and empathy can be conscious decisions if you choose.


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## pinwheel (Sep 17, 2016)

It really depends on the situation, but to answer the question without any context whatsoever, I'd say that balance is the key. ) I'm not a firm believer in the either-or fallacy.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

creationsh said:


> Kindness. Intelligent bitches with no shread of kindness can live on an isolated island with bars around them for all I care.


How kind of you


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## creationsh (Jun 3, 2015)

ninjahitsawall said:


> How kind of you


Thank you. 

Sent from my Nexus 6 using Tapatalk


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## nynaeva (Sep 28, 2016)

I truly value kindness in other people and in myself, I like the fact it's something we work on (kindness) and not something we are born with (intelligence).

Maybe it's a Fe ter thing and a age thing (I used to be much more arrogant when I was in my 20s), but I really enjoy working on myself to be a kinder, better, more grateful and positive person. 

Even if Ti can bit a bitch, I always see the flaws in things and people but I try to learn to accept them as it, and like people for who they are.


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## There4GoEye (Feb 13, 2015)

I would rather be kind than intelligent. 
In others: Intelligence without kindness = a threat to me. Kindness without intelligence = employment for me.


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## Mad Philosopher (Dec 14, 2015)

Picking kindness is the more intelligent choice


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

TracyCook21 said:


> I think kindness is unintelligent though. I think it's necessary to fake it to survive, but ultimately pointless.


But right now you are being pointless. What is your answer?


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## nynaeva (Sep 28, 2016)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> But right now you are being pointless. What is your answer?


It's so INTP of you to point out illogical answer ;-D


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## Warp11 (Jul 13, 2016)

like a few others stated, I wouldn't necessarily value one over the other. And they are not exclusive of each other. There are times when one of these qualities would prevail in a certain situation (E.g. are you buying a car based on the features and price? Or are you going to buy that car because you know the salesperson worked hard to get the sale and you want him to get the reward?) In this case, I would lean toward the former and the latter would just be seen as a bonus.


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## bluewolf30 (Jun 15, 2016)

Intelligence sparks my interest, kindness makes me stay.. so both..


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## lookslikeiwin (May 6, 2014)

I like kind people much more. I got annoyed by most of the Advanced Placement crowd in high school because they seemed to think too much of themselves.


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## atamagasuita (May 15, 2016)

Kindness. Because evil intelligent bastards annoys me. *there goes the guy in my neighbor who is moaning again. Should i shout and tell him i can hear him? Or should i moan with him?! Hahahahahahah!*


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## Cobble (Dec 6, 2016)

Intelligent kindness or kind intelligence.

Because. 
> Without kindness, I won't consider you intelligent.
> Without intelligence, I won't consider you kind.

So I can't prioritize any of those if they are considered alone. (Meaning also that I didn't vote)


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## stathamspeacoat (Dec 10, 2016)

So the assumption is that if you have one, you are devoid of the other? Or is it merely prioritized aka I possess both, just more of one. The phrasing of "value more" is interpreted by me as quantitative. 

I value kindness tremendously but also know that kind people, regardless of intelligence level, are often mistreated because they're an "easy target." There is pain that comes with that realization and I prefer to avoid that. I have had the opportunity to extend kindness but declined because I knew the request was manipulative and insincere. 

I'd rather have it 51/49 intelligence over kindness. I would like to be intelligent enough to appropriate my kindness to those who truly appreciate/deserve it.


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## SuperfluousNinja (Jul 26, 2015)

I don't think these questions are supposed to be "solved".

I absolutely value kindness over intelligence.


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## EpicKitty25 (Nov 28, 2016)

.


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## Handsome Dyke (Oct 4, 2012)

I voted intelligence. I interpreted "kindness" to mean something above and behind basic respect and politeness, not the opposite of "asshole."


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## principesa (Jul 4, 2016)

One without the other is never good enough. 
When you shoot for kindness- be wisely kind. 
When you shoot for intelligence - do it kindly


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## Felix5 (Apr 27, 2015)

A truly intelligent person should understand the need for kindness and a kind person should understand why intelligence is necessary for the betterment of humanity.

Why are these mutual exclusive traits and being pitted against one another?


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## B3LIAL (Dec 21, 2013)

The problem on this thread is that people are associating intelligence with coldness and kindness with stupidity/lack of intelligence.

I personally value intelligence more because you can do more with it.

My intelligence can resolve people's problems and my own and help people in a much greater and lasting way rather than simply being nice to make them feel good for a small period of time.


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