# Adversarial relationships: [Enneagram type] vs. [Enneagram type]



## Animal (May 29, 2012)

I want to hear about your adversarial relationships. This can be anything from full-out enemies to adversarial friends to small friendly battles of the wit. It can be family, friends, SO, acquaintances, anything. I'm curious to hear about the dynamics between you and an adversary.

Feel free to write about as many of these as you wish, with as much detail as you're willing.

Here are some optional questions:

Who have you had adversarial relationships with? What was their enneagram type? How did this battle play out in your lives? Who won? How did each person win? What advantages and disadvantages did each side have? Did it end in friendship or did you part ways? What do you think of them now? Has this battle taught you anything about yourself, and do you think the other person learned from it? What aspect of this person did you find the most challenging?


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## Tharwen (Mar 20, 2013)

me, 4w3, he, entp so sx 6w7:

lets talk! 4w3: blbalbalbalb, he completely disregards and starts talking about a problem with a screw on his guitar, and endlessly blabbers about it.

6w7: lets play games!
4w3: ok!
6w7 (absorbed in the game)
4w3: UHH... this is BOOORING! something else?
6w7: just one more match!
4w3: *rolls eyes*

4w3 and istp sp so 6w5:

4w3:blabalbalabalbalablab
6w5: blabalbalabalbalabal
4w3:blabalbalabalbalablab
6w5: blabalbalabalbalabal
4w3:blabalbalabalbalablab
6w5: blabalbalabalbalabal
4w3:blabalbalabalbalablab
6w5: blabalbalabalbalabal
6w5: blabalbalabalbalabal
4w3:blabalbalabalbalablab
6w5: blabalbalabalbalabal

5 hours later: i shut up, realizing the convo isnt leading to anywhere.

4w3 and entp so sx 3w2
3w2 acts all charming and in his own worlds
4w3 tries talking, but hes still as unfocused as ever.
stops trying to talk, and starts to analyze his feelings instead.
analyzes them for 5 hours, realizing the other person is completely insane, and when ive resolved the problem, i say one hting, and hes like "YEAAH, i feel so much better now!"
but still hes pretty much stuck in his own world. -.- (seems to be an unhealthy entp so sx trait.) ive also came to an entp so sx 3w4, so the third entp so sx, but i find solving his internal problems much easier than the others, due 4w3 and 3w4 being so connected.


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## zinnia (Jul 22, 2013)

Hmm, cool question. Had to think about it for a while. 

6w7: A very good friend of mine but we would get into ridiculous arguments sometimes. She was in an abusive/unstable relationship but always gave the excuse that he was a nice guy whenever I would tell her to end it. She also has often gotten in her own way for things like jobs, because she wouldn't want to leave her boss out of loyalty. It would anger me because I saw how she was being taken advantage of and I was quite vocal with my opinions. Neither of us "won" because she didn't take my advice and got hurt in the end. We are still friends though not as close as we used to be.

I have had some relationships with others of various types, with problems ranging from them trying to change me, me not listening to anything they had to say, them being too passive, and on and on. I think I ended up winning as I basically gave up on all of them once I saw nothing would change. If I argue and fight with someone it is because I care; if not I would ignore.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

Mwahahaha! I will so post here later.


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## bombsaway (Nov 29, 2011)

I don't really have any enemies (such a 9 thing to say) but one person who I disagree with a lot is my brother. I think this is odd since he's a 1w9 and I'm a 9w1 and so you'd think we wouldn't be miles apart. Maybe the fact that we probably think / react in similar ways but come to complete opposite conclusions or have different priorities makes the disagreements seem worse (or maybe just the fact that we're forced to see so much of each other ) Usually arguments with him and me are so stereotypical of our enneagram types it's not even funny. Usually it starts with him criticising someone for whatever reason and I'll take a 'live and let live' approach. This will annoy him since he can't understand how I can stand by and not get worked up about the morally incorrect. It's more annoying for him when I agree that something is 'bad' such as hard core drug taking maybe but still believe you shouldn't judge other people if they want to do that. Then there's the fact that things that _do_ upset me and cause me to take a stand usually don't bother him, haha. We both see each other as having the wrong priorities, I guess. 

As for a battle of the wit, my friend who I'd type as a 7w6 3w2 9w8 Sx/So is my favourite to do battle with. I think it might be because we're similar (I'm 9w1 2w3 7w6 So/Sx) so we sort of 'get' each other and thus know exactly how to push each other's buttons the wrong way and annoy the other without going too far like it does with me and my brother.

The last one I can think of is my friend who's a type 8 and either an Sx/Sp or Sp/Sx. We love each other in small doses. I guess it's a curiosity thing. We have no idea how the other person operates yet find them fascinating. I imagine we'd kill each other if we spent all day everyday together, though.


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## trifle (Jun 30, 2013)

There is a 3w4 who I've barely ever been very openly aggressive with, it's not tense, but I would consider us adversaries. I don't think the other party would, they are quite oblivious. In frequent small, fun arguments I think I've pretty much always 'won', but they wouldn't accept that if I said so or pushed for a conclusion. They always either got too huffy and hett up and went away to sulk and complain, or on a good day they would reluctantly agree with me, teeth gritted into a grin - reasonable in a way that was false and irritating. Having said this, for all their major faults and foibles, I found them sort of endearing. But only from a large distance. 

There was also a 3w2 who became an adversary of sorts. Gosh, I'm sorry if it sounds like I have it out for 3 types, or that I type those I dislike as 3s out of some kind of prejudice. At first we were very good friends, and then they did something very strange and awful involving spreading a rumour. Of course, I forgave them by my definition, after distancing myself as quickly as possible and trying to ignore them - the deed was done in such a devious way that I found out by accident, and I'm not sure if they know I know to this day. Thus; no big confrontations. But it gave me a new perspective on their character which made every single thing they said or did absolutely repulsive. Also another adversary who might not consider themselves an adversary - but they definitely were, because I think that practically the only time I ever spoke directly to them after that was to make small but potent and pointy jabs at them.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

I'll add more details later, but I've had adversaries from nearly all types thanks to my personality lol. So, I'll touch on some of my favourites.
*
Type 1:
*
There's always a TON of mutual respect between my Type 1 adversaries and I. There's an unwritten bond of honour and integrity there, that I have also noticed with 8 adversaries. The clash with 1s has usually been over values, with the 1 finding me hypocritical as fuck and shamelessly opportunistic. 

The best type 1 adversary I had was a friend turned 'enemy' back in high school. The roots of the conflict were along the lines of what I said above. But, I honestly never hated her. She never hated me either. Our year long stalemate ended when angered by a misunderstanding (Severe misunderstanding that blew her fuse right off, and this is a very self controlled person), she attacked me verbally and after I physically distanced myself from her (held her arms and moved her back), pushed me 10 times as hard LOL. And, that just pissed me the hell off since my gesture wasn't one of hostility. Then, I was in "bitch, you want a fuckin fight..I'll give you a fuckin fight" mode. Up until that point, my positive re-framing tendencies had me believe that things weren't quite as bad as they were lol. So, yeah, we were both trained martial artists. We came to blows, literally hahahaha! This was at my house, so it wasn't a public spectacle rofl. 

And, somehow, in the course of the fight, we ended up screaming ourselves hoarse, calling each other every name in the book and the misunderstanding was cleared up. It ended in laughter and hugs. We're still in touch. 
She's a 1w2 sx/so. She held it in for a long time, before she blasted my ass. :laughing: 
*
Type 2*

Hmm. Type 2 adversaries are very smooth, manipulative. I've never really had a serious type 2 adversary. Though, I've had bad experiences with some unhealthy 2s when they became too emotionally intrusive, guilt trippy and emotionally demanding. I was just very honest with them, and I saw some 8ish forcefulness from them in fights. They're relentless; let me tell you. Behind the gentle demeanour there's an iron will. They are not to be underestimated is the lesson I've walked away with lol.

Some honest yet 'diplomatic' communication seems to work well with 2s. 
*
Type 3:*

I have had tons of type 3 competitors. There's been mutual respect here as well, unless unhealthy 3s were involved. They are sore losers of the worst kind. Some of them have tried to play dirty with me, and I have given them a dose of their own medicine x10. It's been fun. Type 3 adversaries can bring out a side of me that is hostile, unforgiving, callous and hellbent on ensuring their defeat. I admire their insatiable drive. It's rare for me to have a solid friendship with a 3 in my profession, anyway. Surely, this is the case with younger, low-average health 3s who haven't come into their own yet. I actually get along very well with older, mature type 3s. 3w2 is one of my favourite types. 

I've had some iffy experiences with 9w8 fixed 3w4s online, and they just elicit my pity honestly. I see them as pissy lil fucks with little going for them; and consequently, I enjoy making them targets of my mockery. 
*
Type 4*

I've only ever had a bad experience with one or two 4s. I've found these 'adversaries' as pitiable as the 3w4-9w8 types I mentioned above. They're insecure, talentless fuckwits with jealousy issues who are basically total failures at life. 

Their (the ones I am talking about not 4s in general) inconsistent ineffectual competitiveness and push-pull emotional games as well as self-loathing make them a total waste of time to even deal with. I just let them impale themselves upon their own swords. 

*Type 5*-- No adversaries here.

*Type 6*

Phobic 6 'adversaries', in my life, if I can even call em that lmfao are the worst breed of snakes in the grass. The self-victimization and all the poor mez banding together to try (and royally fail) and take down a threat stunt is one that has been done to death. I attract 6 adversaries in a big way. They find me an unscrupulous bully. That's the most common complaint I've heard. The ones I've dealt with have been spineless indirect lil idiots. They're very sly and stealthy, but they haven't exactly been particularly sharp. A lot of shit is started behind my back, while I go around considering them friends/acquaintances. The dishonesty that they have displayed in their dealings with me has always caused me to rain down on them extra hard, if I decide it's even worth my time to drive the final nail through the coffin of their petty persecutorial delusions and dramaz. Again, keep in mind this is based on my own experiences with p6s 'adversaries'.

I like battling an equal or one superior in skill, but the phobic 6s that have been silly enough to play dumb tricks on me have always found in me a willing participant in their games after a point. It just ends badly for them. I've run off more of these than I can even count on my fingers. 

Cp 6--

Confident cp6s make excellent adversaries. They're honest, assertive, openly challenging and very good strategists. It's always a challenge, a worthwhile challenge to have a strong cp6 adversary. I quite like them actually. They keep me on my toes. The unhealthier ones are mostly bark and little bite, which is the case for unhealthy folk of many types. They're just scattered and very easy to play into making an ass of themselves. It gets more and more comical as time passes. 

A few of my tiffs with cp6s (almost always initiated by the 6 lol) have ended in warm friendships, which I value to this day. 
*
Type 7--*

I've had type 7 competitors, but I've never had an actual adversarial relationship with a 7. They do come up with the most hilarious and creative insults. I have to give them that.

*
Type 8*

Like Type 1 and some cp6 adversaries I have known, there's always a thread of mutual respect between type 8 adversaries and I. A couple of these erstwhile adversarial relationships have ended in friendship. What I like about 8 adversaries is their honesty, brashness, level of comfort with disagreement (unlike unhealthy 6s, 8s actually are not averse to being disagreed with, as long as you are NOT eluding them or giving them mixed messages) and their stamina in a fight lol. Oh, unless they deem you insignificant, they can keep going at it. I like that they know where they stand what they want. This actually helps in resolving conflict effectively.

What I dislike about 8 adversaries is the fact that they can, at times, make hasty judgments about situations which they are not willing to re-evaluate, easily enough. They can be very stubborn and resistant because of this, but if you approach them with respect, honesty and even genuine vulnerability (not referring to kissing ass or throwing a pity party, btw), they can be surprisingly open hearted. They also overestimate themselves relative to their opponents and can be easy to blindside, but that deficiency works in your favour if you're an adversary. 
*
Type 9*

lolzno sorry. I've never had a type 9 adversary. :crying:


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

Boss said:


> *Type 5*-- No adversaries here.


Well then you cannot _possibly_ be a core 1. Every self-respecting 1 has a type 5 adversary.

:laughing:




> *Type 9*
> 
> lolzno sorry. I've never had a type 9 adversary. :crying:


Luring a type 9 into becoming an adversary is an interesting challenge in and of itself. :crazy:


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## Napoleptic (Oct 29, 2010)

Boss said:


> *Type 9*
> 
> lolzno sorry. I've never had a type 9 adversary. :crying:


Fuck you.

What can I say, you left yourself wide open! XD


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## Chesire Tower (Jan 19, 2013)

I do my best to avoid having enemies. That said, I have a couple of exbfs who I think are 3w2s. One of them was extremely emotionally abusive and controlling; the other one I believe is some sort of sociopath. Both of them are narcissists extraordinaire.

In the first case, he kept calling me and I just had to get a way from him for awhile, just to get him out of my system. During our relationship, he would call me on the phone non-stop, until I answered; like he was keeping tabs on me or something. One time, he brought me to this club and introduced me to one of his "friends". When he was absent for a moment, the "friend" - a woman, came up to me and asked me what I was _doing_ with him. :laughing:

The other one, I met during a very difficult time in my life: my beloved father was dying. I would have never given this dufus the time of day, had I not been so vulnerable at the time. He conned me into letting him move in with me. I found out that he had been - without my permission - racking up huge long distance charges to a few different countries. I was afraid of him; since he would yell a lot and smack his head whenever he got angry; so I tricked him into buying me a hot chocolate and locked him out. I eventually had to get a restraining order against him, to get him to leave me alone and to stop leaving me harassing voicemails.


Then there's my wackjob germaphobe neighbour who lives across the hall from me - a 6w5???. He has confided really moving personal sentiments, such as: when I complained about him kicking his door in, yelling like a coyote and doing Exorcist impersonations, he lovingly assured me that I had absolutely nothing to fear from him, since he is not violent. In fact, if he ever wanted to hurt me, he would just consult with a hit man; like he did to the - his words - "bitch" who got him fired, but he only "talked" about it 'though. Also, in not-so-rare moment of verbal diaherra, he affectionately confessed his fear that "If something were to happen to me" he would be blamed for it, since he's "the quiet guy" rolleyes who lives down the hall.

He started screaming and cursing at me once in the hallway at a high decibel pitch for about five minutes. I asked him if he was "threatening me" he responded: "make of it what you will". I called the cops on him. He is kind of a recluse and talked to them behind his door. He actually flirted with the pretty female cop and when they wanted to leave, he wouldn't stop yakking. They finally had to tell him: "look Sir, we really have to go; we have _rea_l criminals to catch".:laughing: 
As far as the resolution: well, I've had to write several letters to the management to keep him in line when he goes into Jack Nicholson/Linda Blair mode; plus, he is still breathing, so . . .


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## Lotan (Aug 10, 2012)

Boss said:


> I've had type 7 competitors, but I've never had an actual adversarial relationship with a 7.


That's because we make rivalry fun so even our rivals like us.

Everyone is my adversary, they just don't know it :wink:


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## The Scorched Earth (May 17, 2010)

Boss said:


> I'll add more details later, but I've had adversaries from nearly all types thanks to my personality lol. So, I'll touch on some of my favourites.
> *
> Type 1:
> *
> ...


Don't you have a type 1 boyfriend?


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

Ice Ghost said:


> Don't you have a type 1 boyfriend?


Why yes, I love em type 1 boyfriends.


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## The Scorched Earth (May 17, 2010)

Boss said:


> Why yes, I love em type 1 boyfriends.


If you don't mind me asking, what's his instinct? I'm trying to determine just how much diversity there is within the type 1.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

Ice Ghost said:


> If you don't mind me asking, what's his instinct? I'm trying to determine just how much diversity there is within the type 1.


1w9-6w5-4w5 sx/so


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## Chesire Tower (Jan 19, 2013)

I've recently made an adversary of yet another Cp?6/I(xx)J woman, who I am forced to deal with on occasion. What are the odds? 

The most recent one: 

All you need to say to _this_ person to set them off is: 

"I think that there may be a storm approaching."

Her: "What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?"


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## meridannight (Nov 23, 2012)

i don't have adversaries. i have conflicts. the conflicts are either resolved, or if they can't be resolved i have to drop the matter and let it go. adversary, in my view, is some one person you're constantly fighting with. i don't have anyone like that. sure, i have occasional arguments and fights and i run into conflicts with other people ever so often, but that is not something that would make me consider a person an adversary.


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## Paradigm (Feb 16, 2010)

I've never had any real enemies or adversaries, partly because I don't care to put that much energy into a long-term argument. What can I say, I'm a 1w9-fixer, it's only worth it if it's moralistic.

In a weird twist of fate, I seem to have the most conflict with type 2. It's not always limited to _core_ 2s; the worst have all been male. They tend to expect me to be far more emotional, grateful, and "polite" than I actually am. When I'm not, they start guilt-tripping and/or acting like they know best; when those tactics don't work, they start playing the nice-guy martyr. It's like they think I'm some damsel in distress and start freaking out when I refuse to play the role. The most annoying thing is that the only solution I've found is walking away altogether; being (kindly) honest has rarely worked, it seems to just go in one ear and out the other since they're being _so helpful_.

I haven't had particularly brilliant relations with the other power-oriented types of 5 and 8, either... But they're not half as numerous as 2s, so I can't rant about them for as long


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## DoubleDare (May 15, 2013)

Boss said:


> *Type 6*
> 
> Phobic 6 'adversaries', in my life, if I can even call em that lmfao are the worst breed of snakes in the grass. The self-victimization and all the poor mez banding together to try (and royally fail) and take down a threat stunt is one that has been done to death. I attract 6 adversaries in a big way. They find me an unscrupulous bully. That's the most common complaint I've heard. The ones I've dealt with have been spineless indirect lil idiots. They're very sly and stealthy, but they haven't exactly been particularly sharp. A lot of shit is started behind my back, while I go around considering them friends/acquaintances. The dishonesty that they have displayed in their dealings with me has always caused me to rain down on them extra hard, if I decide it's even worth my time to drive the final nail through the coffin of their petty persecutorial delusions and dramaz. Again, keep in mind this is based on my own experiences with p6s 'adversaries'.
> 
> ...


I have a bit of a different take on this. The behavior of phobic sixes you describe I've seen more from the fives I know (but maybe 6w5 can do it, too?), though I can imagine that fours have similar capacities. The fives I know generally have a live-and-let-live attitude, but if they see someone as a threat (especially a "bully", a term I hear them use a lot, too), I know of no one who can plot and scheme and hold a grudge like a five, resulting in lots of attacks from the shadows and from behind peoples backs. They work slowly and subtly (or, sometimes, not so subtly) to undermine their adversary, and for those who aren't privvy to what is going on (me and my circle of friends, in one instance), they can do a lot of damage before it is realized.

The difference between fives and sixes, in this regard, is that I don't think sixes can't stay with a conflict for as long as fives can. Sixes, being doubtful and suspicious, start to question the conflict, whether it is worth it, even whether they are right or wrong (maybe the problem is with me?), and will usually either try to make nice (or at least negotiate a truce) if they are operating phobically, or flip the switch and go full-on counterphobic confrontational to get the matter resolved right then and there. Sixes are reactive, so if the threat isn't immediate, they tend not to focus on it. 

Sixes are, above all, afraid of getting hurt. So their first priority is to protect themselves. To accomplish this, phobic sixes try their best to make everyone like them, even when it's obvious to others that they probably should stick up for themselves instead. When it becomes clear to them that that approach isn't working, they will run away and avoid so they aren't a target anymore. If they get cornered, however, or if one of their loved ones is in danger, even phobic sixes can "flip the switch" and counterphobically go for the throat to resolve the tension. I think most counterphobic sixes are just phobic sixes who have learned to flip the switch at much lower levels of anxiety, lol. As they say of sixes, sixes are either at your feet or at your throat. Not much room for elaborate attempts at sabotage and treachery, attempts that sixes can quickly determine to be potentially dangerous, since they might go rapidly south in unexpected ways. Better to stay safe than rely on a plan that could fail...

Fives (and fours, too, I suspect) can brood and stew for seemingly ever, in my experience. Fives have a self-confidence (hubris, even) that sixes lack. Fives, when operating from their castle (on their turf, so to speak), can feel supremely confident in their ability to launch all kinds of attacks, from sarcastic insults to whisper campaigns to elaborately-staged takedowns. They can come up with a plan, get their circle of confidantes to support them, then fight the threat. This, of course, is the case with *unhealthy* fives. Healthy fives can also be very direct and particularly resilient when it comes to conflict.

I'm not as familiar with fours, but I can imagine that the "better than" elitism combined with the general hostility (envy) towards the other can make an unhealthy four a particularly unscrupulous adversary.

All healthy and mature types, however, tend to recognize the need to fight fair. 

On a related note, I have a friend who is a particularly phobic six (with probably a seven wing), and she goes out of her way to make nice with *everybody*. When she gets mad at someone and really lets them know what she thinks, we all tell her it's the cutest. thing. EVAH., 'cause she is always so ridiculously nice and almost never says anything mean about anyone (to be clear, it's not because she thinks others are so amazing, but rather because she doesn't feel like she has the standing to judge them - she questions herself too much to ever question someone else). We love it when she puts her foot down and stands up for herself, lol!


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

DoubleDare said:


> I have a bit of a different take on this. The behavior of phobic sixes you describe I've seen more from the fives I know (but maybe 6w5 can do it, too?), though I can imagine that fours have similar capacities. The fives I know generally have a live-and-let-live attitude, but if they see someone as a threat (especially a "bully", a term I hear them use a lot, too), I know of no one who can plot and scheme and hold a grudge like a five, resulting in lots of attacks from the shadows and from behind peoples backs. They work slowly and subtly (or, sometimes, not so subtly) to undermine their adversary, and for those who aren't privvy to what is going on (me and my circle of friends, in one instance), they can do a lot of damage before it is realized.



This is more the behaviour of phobic 6s I have known. Clearly, just about any type, with the possible exception of an 8 or 7w8 since they're far too direct to kiss your ass while 'scheming' behind your back. Scheme they may, but they're unlikely to act like the harmless little bestie while pulling tricks when your back is turned. 

In my experiences, the term "bully" is thrown around most by 6s, followed by 2s and 1s. They're far more perceptive of even subtle power imbalances than 5s. And, they can feel threatened/cornered/unsupported rather easily at times. If you notice what I said about the efficacy of the plotting lol, the phobic 6s I have known weren't "particularly sharp". There wasn't much follow through, again likely because of doubt. They backed off when confronted. But, the act of playing pleasantries while actually holding a grudge is far more a phobic 6 thing than a core 5 thing. 

As far as secretive plotting that actually causes real damage etc. is considered, I'd expect 5s and 6w5s mostly CP to be much better at following it through and causing tangible damage. With the phobic 6s in my experience, the point of annoyance has more been the dishonesty they have shown and the fact that they've avoided confronting me directly (which is not at all unusual for a phobic) in favour of banding up with other self-victimizing little fools behind my back. It was no elaborate scheme that resulted in any real damage, and I already pointed that out in my post. It's the underhandedness, passive aggression and *sugar coated* dishonesty, all of which phobic 6s that aren't particularly mature can easily display, that was the crux of my amusement/annoyance mix lol.

I know full well that phobic 6s will present a friendly, ingratiating demeanour so as not to be the targets of anyone's anger/displeasure, as well as to feel a sense of belonging and support for themselves. When they actually take the time to express displeasure, like with your friend, I find it very admirable. From observation and my study of the Enneagram, I know that it isn't easy for them. So, I appreciate it when they get out of their comfort zone and engage me forthrightly. It's when the overt pleasantness is mixed with backhanded behaviour (something I see in 2s as well), that's where I start losing respect for the person. 




> The difference between fives and sixes, in this regard, is that I don't think sixes can't stay with a conflict for as long as fives can. Sixes, being doubtful and suspicious, start to question the conflict, whether it is worth it, even whether they are right or wrong (maybe the problem is with me?), and will usually either try to make nice (or at least negotiate a truce) if they are operating phobically, or flip the switch and go full-on counterphobic confrontational to get the matter resolved right then and there. Sixes are reactive, so if the threat isn't immediate, they tend not to focus on it.


Yes, I'd expect more relentlessness from a 5 than a phobic 6. 

While, a phobic 6 can act CP and a CP can display a Phobic side, there's definitely one basic orientation in which most 6s align for much of the time. I don't think being reactive has anything to do with taking their mind off threats that aren't immediate. In fact, 6s are vigilant or even hypervigilant to the emergence of new threats.



> Sixes are, above all, afraid of getting hurt. So their first priority is to protect themselves. To accomplish this, phobic sixes try their best to make everyone like them...they get cornered, however, or if one of their loved ones is in danger, even phobic sixes can "flip the switch" and counterphobically go for the throat to resolve the tension.



Obviously. Many phobics can display an aggressive side where they confront a threat directly when a loved one is concerned. 




> I think most counterphobic sixes are just phobic sixes who have learned to flip the switch at much lower levels of anxiety, lol. As they say of sixes, sixes are either at your feet or at your throat. Not much room for elaborate attempts at sabotage and treachery, attempts that sixes can quickly determine to be potentially dangerous, since they might go rapidly south in unexpected ways. Better to stay safe than rely on a plan that could fail...



No, it's possible that some self-typed cp6s are actually phobic. Though, I don't think that cp6s in general are just phobics who flip the switch earlier. 

I disagree with that false dichotomy and don't find it to be broadly applicable, considering the vast number of 6s actually find a balance between the so-called rebel and 'loyalist' or whatever silly term is in vogue these days. And, in their daily dealings, they don't seem to be either at people's throats or at their feet. I find that it's an oversimplification of how 6s function, and it best applies to 6s that aren't very self-aware and/or mature. The "at your balls or at your feet" theme is also far more likely to apply to unhealthy cp6s than 6s in general. 

There's plenty of room for sabotage and treachery if the 6 is CP and fully intent on facing the danger or uncertainty it takes to handle a threat once and for all. Phobics, as I've said above, are unlikely to follow through or even come up with something truly insidious lol. 




> Fives (and fours, too, I suspect) can brood and stew for seemingly ever, in my experience. Fives have a self-confidence (hubris, even) that sixes lack. Fives, when operating from their castle (on their turf, so to speak), can feel supremely confident in their ability to launch all kinds of attacks, from sarcastic insults to whisper campaigns to elaborately-staged takedowns. They can come up with a plan, get their circle of confidantes to support them, then fight the threat. This, of course, is the case with *unhealthy* fives. Healthy fives can also be very direct and particularly resilient when it comes to conflict.


Oh, I can certainly see that. I'd have a field day with a 5 bent on taking me down Mwahaha! :angry: LOL. 



> I'm not as familiar with fours, but I can imagine that the "better than" elitism combined with the general hostility (envy) towards the other can make an unhealthy four a particularly unscrupulous adversary.


The 4's envy is not a general hostility towards people. It is fueled by the belief that others are enjoying an emotional satisfaction that is being denied to the 4. It can manifest as a social climbing drive, but most often, it's a nagging dissatisfaction with what is easily attainable--seen as mundane. It's not the same as jealousy either. It's a deep awareness of what's lacking and a craving for that which couldn't be had (in the past) or seems unattainable in the future. It's interconnected with shame, feeling envious and being ashamed of feeling this intense sense of lack (envy). 

Though, the three image types do struggle with hostility when unhealthy. 



> All healthy and mature types, however, tend to recognize the need to fight fair.


Of course




> On a related note, I have a friend who is a particularly phobic six (with probably a seven wing), and she goes out of her way to make nice with *everybody*. When she gets mad at someone and really lets them know what she thinks, we all tell her it's the cutest. thing. EVAH., 'cause she is always so ridiculously nice and almost never says anything mean about anyone (to be clear, it's not because she thinks others are so amazing, but rather because she doesn't feel like she has the standing to judge them - she questions herself too much to ever question someone else). We love it when she puts her foot down and stands up for herself, lol!


That's always fun


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