# How do you deal with there is another woman after your man?



## DayLightSun (Oct 30, 2008)

Well Now that everything has cleared up... I should explain what actually happened. My BF has a PHd in chemistry is a INTJ type 5. Awesome to hang around with I have tons of fun with him. We were watching Dr Who. The Jazz singer comes in and starts to say. Oh I love Dr Who. Who ever is watching. Then she left and came back. I'm pretty sure she is a ESFP. Then she starts to smile at him and starts to ask all kinds of questions on Dr. Who. and Smiles her body movement is very flirtatious. I'm in the back ground getting puzzled. I tried to talk to her but she totally ignores me. This pisses me off. 
After this... seeing how Evil comes to easy for me. 
I look for her on face book. Turns out shes married. 
I asked my BF if he thought she was flirting he says no. She was only asking about Dr. Who. 
I don't know if it was just me. But the vibe I got from this girl was the opposite. 
Anyways now my BF says I need to stop being jealous. I told him he's not being fair. I let him look at trees! He has girl friends too. I don't get jealous at them. Just this girl man.
How this woman looked like.
Shes older then I am skinny. Nice face and smile.


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## KrystRay (Jun 16, 2010)

You're the woman. If your boyfriend doesn't have the wherewithall to stand up for you and your relationship, then you're probably better off without him. I'd pretty much mind my own business and let him deal with it. Tell him it makes you angry and let him handle the situation like a man. I had to do this all the time when guys would hit on me. "Thank you but no thank you," and "no means no."


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## KrystRay (Jun 16, 2010)

And yeah, you are kind of being a little possessive. It was rude of her to ignore you, but that's on her character flawed personality. Don't sweat it. Take it as a compliment that you've got a fun hot guy!


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## Trauma (May 7, 2010)

bionic said:


> I make out with him in front of her or grab his crotch WHILE kissing him. IF the bitch still doesn't get it then I will deck her in the face.


I thought you would get your robot man remote control unit and make him go terminator on her ass... but that works too.


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## DayLightSun (Oct 30, 2008)

I do recognize I was being possessive. It is a flaw I am quickly working on improving because I really don't like the feeling. I really don't like it at all.


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## sayalain (May 1, 2010)

let them be. it's not like i can stop that girl from liking him. i won't warn her, that's not my way of doing things, rather i would observed them. it's not like i don't feel jealous, but this is the part whether your man truly loves you or not. 

as i won't prey on other guys when i'm in a relationship, i hope that my partner would do the same too. of course, if other guys is interested in me when i'm in a relationship, i would flatly reject him. and i don't understand why my partner can't do the same.

once i knew he's interested in that girl, i would dump him. there's no future in our relationship once i have lost my interest. i dislikes drama.


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## Blue Butterfly (Sep 19, 2009)

I back away and let the man decide if he wants me or her. I have never met a man yet that is worth a fight.


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## CuritadeRana (Mar 19, 2010)

DayLightSun said:


> Well Now that everything has cleared up... I should explain what actually happened. My BF has a PHd in chemistry is a INTJ type 5. Awesome to hang around with I have tons of fun with him. We were watching Dr Who. The Jazz singer comes in and starts to say. Oh I love Dr Who. Who ever is watching. Then she left and came back. I'm pretty sure she is a ESFP. Then she starts to smile at him and starts to ask all kinds of questions on Dr. Who. and Smiles her body movement is very flirtatious. I'm in the back ground getting puzzled. I tried to talk to her but she totally ignores me. This pisses me off.
> After this... seeing how Evil comes to easy for me.
> I look for her on face book. Turns out shes married.
> I asked my BF if he thought she was flirting he says no. She was only asking about Dr. Who.
> ...



Sounds like this lady was getting off on the fact that you were getting upset more than any attention your man was giving her. Some people (because men do this too) are screwed up that way. They just can't or don't know how to enjoy a normal healthy relationship. The funny thing is your INTJ man would most likely not even pick up on it and would be more annoyed at you for pointing something like this out 'cause he just don't get it and he really is into watching his Dr. Who. I will tell you a secret...many married couples are not happy in their marriage so you have every reason to be upset because then they try to leach the happiness out of your healthy relationship. If you have to have continued contact with this woman it is hard to say what to do because this is usually where I let intuition take over. Honestly if I saw her do an outright physical/verbal boundary infraction I would be all over her like white on rice until she didn't have a hair follicle left in her head. I don't have a good temper when it comes to such things. I seriously considered pushing a woman down the stairs because she was out and out flirting with my friend's husband while staying in her home when my friend wasn't in the room. I could see the stress she was putting on my friend and their relationship. I did put all her clothes in trash bags one weekend when she was away and was about to toss them when my friend stopped me. Oh, did I mention my friend also had a daughter? :sad: This lady was also playing her mind games on me with unhappy results. Of all things she tried to get me to sit next to my friend's husband in the car when there was plenty of room in the back. I was glad I was there because my friend was unable to go to the function that night. She's the one reason why I don't trust skinny girls, she was probably acting crazy because she needed to eat something which she constantly denied herself. 

But the rational part of me would tell you that it is more important to talk to your partner about how you feel when you are in a calm and rational state of mind. Even if the woman is naturally flirtatious it's important to let your partner know how insecure that makes you feel because of the lack of respect for your sacred bond/relationship and has nothing to do with his character. It may be hard for him to understand but it is important for you to put it out there. Trust your intuition on this one though he just may not "get it".


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## DayLightSun (Oct 30, 2008)

CuritadeRana said:


> Sounds like this lady was getting off on the fact that you were getting upset more than any attention your man was giving her. Some people (because men do this too) are screwed up that way. They just can't or don't know how to enjoy a normal healthy relationship. The funny thing is your INTJ man would most likely not even pick up on it and would be more annoyed at you for pointing something like this out 'cause he just don't get it and he really is into watching his Dr. Who. I will tell you a secret...many married couples are not happy in their marriage so you have every reason to be upset because then they try to leach the happiness out of your healthy relationship. If you have to have continued contact with this woman it is hard to say what to do because this is usually where I let intuition take over. Honestly if I saw her do an outright physical/verbal boundary infraction I would be all over her like white on rice until she didn't have a hair follicle left in her head. I don't have a good temper when it comes to such things. I seriously considered pushing a woman down the stairs because she was out and out flirting with my friend's husband while staying in her home when my friend wasn't in the room. I could see the stress she was putting on my friend and their relationship. I did put all her clothes in trash bags one weekend when she was away and was about to toss them when my friend stopped me. Oh, did I mention my friend also had a daughter? :sad: This lady was also playing her mind games on me with unhappy results. Of all things she tried to get me to sit next to my friend's husband in the car when there was plenty of room in the back. I was glad I was there because my friend was unable to go to the function that night. She's the one reason why I don't trust skinny girls, she was probably acting crazy because she needed to eat something which she constantly denied herself.
> 
> But the rational part of me would tell you that it is more important to talk to your partner about how you feel when you are in a calm and rational state of mind. Even if the woman is naturally flirtatious it's important to let your partner know how insecure that makes you feel because of the lack of respect for your sacred bond/relationship and has nothing to do with his character. It may be hard for him to understand but it is important for you to put it out there. Trust your intuition on this one though he just may not "get it".


INFJ's are goood!


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## waterviolet (Apr 28, 2010)

Well, my thought is this. Why in the heck would you worry unless *he* gives you a reason to worry?


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## SaraBell (Jun 3, 2010)

I just sit back and laugh to myself, enjoy the show...whenever one of us gets hit on we always joke about it later together.


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## CuritadeRana (Mar 19, 2010)

waterviolet said:


> Well, my thought is this. Why in the heck would you worry unless *he* gives you a reason to worry?












http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessed_(2009_film)

Movies are exaggeration but it's just to illustrate a point. Something "innocent" can get real ugly fast. Like I said in my post, I don't think the guy even really noticed the flirting or even cared. What about the person we didn't talk about in the story....the woman's husband. How do we know how he would react? There are plenty of true life stories of people getting killed in a jealous rage. What if this woman is not mentally stable and becomes obsessed? I knew a girl in elementary school of all places who became obsessed with my guy friend and displayed some disturbing behavior because he had a girlfriend and didn't give her the time of day. One day she was so angry/upset about the situation she was just drawing unending spirals of circles on her page until her pen tip broke through the page and then gave a disturbing little giggle. We were in the 5th grade together. 

In relationships we are each other's protection from the things that we are aware of and the things we are not aware of. If DayLightSun senses something different after being exposed to what is normal I support her feelings. I really like SaraBell's answer in the way that they fortify their relationship against such stupidity by laughing at it together. In this way they are constantly assuring each other. It is harder for me to have that sense of comfort about the subject because I have been exposed to a lot of aggressive people who many times do not take no for an answer. Sometimes all it takes is an arm around your sweetheart to let an inappropriate lady/man know "do you really want to go there?" Hahaha I remember even as children how we would protect our parents in public. Sometimes even more alarming is a man/woman in emotional pain seeking comfort than a flirt. We are all human and we have our weaknesses. I think a partner that is aware of that is more fortified against these kinds of issues than someone who is in denial.


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