# Women staring at men



## ficsci (May 4, 2011)

:laughing:

So of course there's a bad history of men staring at women, that whole "instead of listening to what she's saying, he's staring at her lips/boobs."


So I'm a heterosexual girl, but sometimes I do the same to guys (not the boobs, duh)... I'm especially obsessed with sexy lips (o__o . Feel pretty guilty, but I was wondering whether other women do it too.


But you know how there's often that middle school legend of, "you know that a girl likes you when she often looks at you." Shouldn't that legend be perpetuated to adulthood? Or is it and am I just not that aware of this?

By the way, I think I heard this from a Discovery Channel documentary, but their research reveals that men look at women's faces during sex more than women look at men's faces. It might surprise you if you assume the stereotype that, in sex, men are more physical and women are more emotional. But the hypothesis is that women actually try to look pretty, while men (because of the male-dominated society of our day and age) aren't much to look at :laughing: . But of course I think there are exceptions :blushed:


----------



## Levitas (Sep 27, 2009)

I do. I am terribly obvious when I stare at men also. My gaze tends to go straight to his ass.


----------



## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

@ficsci

_No way in hell_ am I taking a photo without a shirt _now_, regardless of my heavy sleep deprivation....


I feel so.... _Dirty_.....


----------



## ficsci (May 4, 2011)

@MissJordan wrong thread? right thread? lol


----------



## BxR (Jun 15, 2011)

I don't mind being stared at by women who are my own age. It does make me feel a little self-conscious, but it's good to know I'm worth looking at. It gets awkward when I catch them, though. It's like, "hey I just caught you staring at me! ...Now what? I guess we'll just pretend that didn't happen."


----------



## Eerie (Feb 9, 2011)

* eyerapes @timeless *


----------



## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

Eerie said:


> * eyerapes @timeless *


Is that like Eskimo-kisses on someone's genitals?


----------



## eQGatsby (Jun 17, 2011)

Before we begin, I must issue a warning. I am not saying that by dressing a certain way, men are asking for stares, I am saying that by dressing a certain way, they should expect it whether they like it or not. 

Anyway, with the logic of most people here, men should be able to walk around naked without eliciting the fabled Batman Sound Effect Dem Abs & Dat Dick Salute which is absolutely not going to happen. If you want to avoid stares, wear less provocative clothing, end of story, and don't dare come back with some quip about it being the woman's problem. It isn't. End of story. With everyone and everything else in the world, you have to take the good and bad into account. Let's say, 'side effects'. Why the hell should men be excluded from the universal law of taking the good and bad into account? Because you're part of the 49% of the world with genitalia that don't cave in? That's a pretty harsh double standard for the cavers right there. They probably don't appreciate it. 








Originally Posted by *Nobody* 
Maybe men like to wear nice clothes so they FEEL good when they wear it, not to attract stares from women.



Well, heroin addicts take heroin because it makes them FEEL good when they take heroin, _but the side effects are addiction, itching, slurred speech, vomiting_... and so on.
So men wear provocative clothing because it makes them *FEEL* good, but they also get the appreciation and stares of women. 

Deal with it or don't 'take the drug', so to speak. It is your choice, not ours. Nobody has to accommodate you, this is simply not how the world works. It is not how it ever worked. You are not that entitled, or entitled at all. 








Originally Posted by *daydr3am* 
Yes, it is totally the man's fault for wearing clothes she feels comfortable in and being rudely stared at for it.



Damn straight it is. 



Finally, I'm sure many women will agree, if you dress anything remotely like this, women are going to stare all. They. Want:



















Originally Posted by *unknown*
[ . . . ]sexual harassment[ . . .]



I DARE YOU to call the police on the next woman who stares at you in a bar. I bet the receptionist hangs up on you.








Originally Posted by *unknown* 
The cold hard reality is that a man can dress however he wants and expect not to be ogled at.....because it's rude.



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NO. In some backwards 'perfect' world, yes, but here... HA! Nope! Dress in a designer suit and get those stares. 

*







Originally Posted by Unknown
a man not being able to wear what he wants equals a man's body not being her own*


I'm not allowed to wear a white coat inside a hospital. I can't wear suits every day. I went to a school with uniforms once. 
Do these three reasons mean that my body isn't mine?
Pleeeeeeease. 
------------------------------
This thread is a hilarious thrill ride for me... Oh God, as if one single _stare_ is bad. Do you people think that women are Medusa or something? All they're doing is looking, Jesus. Pipe down and thank whatever deity you pray to that a slap on the ass means "Sue me" now instead of "Good job".



==========
Way too easy to copy and paste.


----------



## TheWaffle (Aug 4, 2010)

eQGatsby said:


> Before we begin, I must issue a warning. I am not saying that by dressing a certain way, men are asking for stares, I am saying that by dressing a certain way, they should expect it whether they like it or not.
> 
> Anyway, with the logic of most people here, men should be able to walk around naked without eliciting the fabled Batman Sound Effect Dem Abs & Dat Dick Salute which is absolutely not going to happen. If you want to avoid stares, wear less provocative clothing, end of story, and don't dare come back with some quip about it being the woman's problem. It isn't. End of story. With everyone and everything else in the world, you have to take the good and bad into account. Let's say, 'side effects'. Why the hell should men be excluded from the universal law of taking the good and bad into account? Because you're part of the 49% of the world with genitalia that don't cave in? That's a pretty harsh double standard for the cavers right there. They probably don't appreciate it.
> 
> ...


 Whaaaaaaat.

Why do you insist on bringing that trainwreck discussion to this thread?


----------



## eQGatsby (Jun 17, 2011)

I don't insist. I'm simply joking about how very similar the two threads have the potential to become.


----------



## 480 (Jan 22, 2009)

eQGatsby said:


> Before we begin, I must issue a warning. I am not saying that by dressing a certain way, men are asking for stares, I am saying that by dressing a certain way, they should expect it whether they like it or not.
> 
> Anyway, with the logic of most people here, men should be able to walk around naked without eliciting the fabled Batman Sound Effect Dem Abs & Dat Dick Salute which is absolutely not going to happen. If you want to avoid stares, wear less provocative clothing, end of story, and don't dare come back with some quip about it being the woman's problem. It isn't. End of story.



I like your posts. They're filled with instructions on not disagreeing with you. What not to respond back with. Warnings about what you're not saying. It takes all the guess work out carrying on a conversation with you. In fact; no conversation is needed. Your posts are so neat and tidy that I dont even have to read them.

Thanks a bunch.

I dont have a problem being looked at. Usually women are shy about it. Looking when they think I can't see them... or looking when I turn around. There's that cute little blush, and the eyes drop down. When I catch them at it, I'll give them a smile and say hi. No need for it to get awkward for anyone.

It's not like they're doing anything wrong.


----------



## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

Women stare at me all the time.

Though it's usually more _"What the fuck is wrong with you?"_


----------



## Nikolai (Jul 20, 2011)

When a woman stares at me, I find it best to let get it out. If you want to stare, by all means, stare. I've done more than my fair share of looking at women, so I don't see anything wrong with returning the favor


----------



## eQGatsby (Jun 17, 2011)

Grim said:


> I like your posts. They're filled with instructions on not disagreeing with you. What not to respond back with. Warnings about what you're not saying. It takes all the guess work out carrying on a conversation with you. In fact; no conversation is needed. Your posts are so neat and tidy that I dont even have to read them.
> 
> Thanks a bunch.


I didn't want you to read them anyway. Nor did I want to speak to you. I think we've come to an agreement. Neither of us want to read the other's posts, speak to the other, and neither of us like the other. 
Let's skip the formalities and let the "Fuck you"s begin to flow.


----------



## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

Every once in a while I'll get some cranky old lady staring at me at the store or on the bus, and I have no idea what their problem is. I usually stare back, and most times this solves it. With guys, there's the risk of it becoming confrontational, but even then I'll test the boundaries, and if they call it quits first, I'll follow immediately after. Though I'm generally too absorbed in my internal world to bother giving most people around me a second thought. 

And I'm actually pretty oblivious to subtle flirting techniques, so if I notice you gawking, I'm probably annoyed by that point, and you're doing something wrong. Same with guys who try to "mad dog" me. I'm not impressed or afraid; I think you're an idiot.


----------



## ItsEvan (Aug 4, 2011)

I wouldn't know if girls were staring at me because I'd be staring at them first, and if they glanced at me I'd immediately dart my gaze, so I wouldn't be able to tell if they were persistent in their leering.


----------



## Zster (Mar 7, 2011)

Good heavens! I am fairly certain that members of both genders enjoy looking at each other (between and among the genders as we have attractions both ways). For me, as I already alluded to on the other thread, it boils down to how tastefully it is done. If one's tongue is lolling halfway down their chest and the drool has soaked their shirt clear through, chances are I wont be overly flattered by it - amused perhaps, but probably not turned on.

Likewise I can admire many people for being beautiful specimens and NOT want to jump their bones - sort of an artistic thing if you will. 

This topic makes me feel like a trip to campus for some art appreciation. It's been awhile. (;


----------



## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

Zster said:


> Good heavens! I am fairly certain that members of both genders enjoy looking at each other (between and among the genders as we have attractions both ways). For me, as I already alluded to on the other thread, it boils down to how tastefully it is done. If one's tongue is lolling halfway down their chest and the drool has soaked their shirt clear through, chances are I wont be overly flattered by it - amused perhaps, but probably not turned on.
> 
> Likewise I can admire many people for being beautiful specimens and NOT want to jump their bones - sort of an artistic thing if you will.
> 
> *This topic makes me feel like a trip to campus for some art appreciation. It's been awhile. (;*


:sigh:

@nottie


----------



## DustyDrill (May 20, 2011)

Stop undressing me with your eyes! I feel so violated! *sob* I wear jeans that are tight on my ass for me, not you! I'm not your whore!

Seriously though, if I catch a woman checking me out I act like a true gentleman and leer at her boobs.






This is what I look like.


----------



## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

Not because I'm attracted - but I do accidentally set my gaze on people in public. People often think that I'm probably checking them out because of it, and sometimes they perk up and get really interested, like ooo she thinks I'm cute - even women often seem to feel a bit flattered by it. My reason for looking is something like my mind goes totally idle, and I passively notice things often with a fixed stare. I try not to let it fall on people because I have found that they will sometimes take this as an invitation to strike up a conversation, which I'm just not usually in the mood for. Anyway, no one seems to mind it. I think because theres just so many damn people, maybe it makes them feel kinda special that the would be the one who catches someones attention in some way. But then again I'm not the creep eyeballing someones naughty bits _in particular_, so maybe its different.


----------



## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

Shoot. I feel cheated. I can't see too well (I'm legally blind and special contact lenses are too expensive). If I put on my Urkel glasses, my eyes literally magnify, so it'd be too obvious even if I wanted to stare at a guy. I can't gawk for that reason.

When I can stare at a guy, it's usually his hands for some reason. I like man hands. Not too rough like a timberwood cutting man. Not too soft either. And if his pinky finger nail's too long? Naw.


----------



## Mr.Xl Vii (Jan 19, 2011)

I get starred at from time to time, but rarely is it from girls my own age. Younger girls check me out, and older women check me out. Girls my age check me out I suppose, but they do it in a more subtle mannor because they're supposed to act like they dont see me. But moms and high school girls fucking love me. College age girls are like "well, he's cute I guess, but he's not my type"

I like older women anyway.


----------



## laxlax10289 (Jul 18, 2011)

Levitas said:


> I do. I am terribly obvious when I stare at men also. My gaze tends to go straight to his ass.


lol :tongue:
What kind of asses on men do you find attractive?
Tiny but firm? Larger but more muscular?

This intrigues me beyond all measure.


----------



## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

I stare at anyone I find attractive. Men, women, whatever someone might label themselves as. I also stare at people I think look weird, act weird, or if I like/dislike what they're wearing.

Some of the titles of these threads should be more welcoming to people who aren't just heterosexual.


----------



## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

Fizz said:


> I stare at anyone I find attractive. Men, women, whatever someone might label themselves as. *I also stare at people I think look weird, act weird, or if I like/dislike what they're wearing.*
> 
> Some of the titles of these threads should be more welcoming to people who aren't just heterosexual.


*Stares back*


----------



## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

WamphyriThrall said:


> *Stares back*


Fur is murder! I can't believe you have an entire lynx coat and mask *humph*


----------



## Mendi the ISFJ (Jul 28, 2011)

theres nothing wrong with men or women staring at one another IMO. When i find a man attractive in any given place i will look at him and make note of where he is in the room. Its just displaying interest and its harmless and natural. Its only when staring becomes stalking or moving in too close that it starts to be unhealthy.


----------



## velvet (Nov 26, 2010)

I don't care so much for the upper body of a guy, except for nice hands and nice veins. I usually look at the guys calves, legs, and booty. Its rare to see a guy with a nice popping booty, but its a nice a view and you get less caught :wink:.


----------



## Yardiff Bey (Jun 5, 2011)

Levitas said:


> I do. I am terribly obvious when I stare at men also. My gaze tends to go straight to his ass.





velvet said:


> I don't care so much for the upper body of a guy, except for nice hands and nice veins. I usually look at the guys calves, legs, and booty. Its rare to see a guy with a nice popping booty, but its a nice a view and you get less caught :wink:.


You girls can check out my ass at any time. I'm told that I have a nice booty. :wink:



strawberryLola said:


> And if his pinky finger nail's too long? Naw.


That is technically referred to as a "cocaine nail". Don't blame you for going "naw". <_<


----------



## Levitas (Sep 27, 2009)

laxlax10289 said:


> lol :tongue:
> What kind of asses on men do you find attractive?
> Tiny but firm? Larger but more muscular?
> 
> This intrigues me beyond all measure.


I just like a nice round ass on a man. Large...firm...whatever..
I like something I can grab :tongue:


----------



## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

Levitas said:


> I just like a nice round ass on a man. Large...firm...whatever..
> I like something I can grab :tongue:


I don't have much of an ass (blame my mother), but somehow I've had mine grabbed in class back in high school by some girl. By the time I turned around to see who had done it, she was already running across the classroom giggling.


----------



## Levitas (Sep 27, 2009)

WamphyriThrall said:


> I don't have much of an ass (blame my mother), but somehow I've had mine grabbed in class back in high school by some girl. By the time I turned around to see who had done it, she was already running across the classroom giggling.


You know it's very tempting to be that giggling girl every once in a while but somehow I manage to refrain from sexually harassing the male population. Some of my friends on the other hand are more bold. My best friend decided to grab my english teacher's ass on our graduation day. I was jealous!


----------



## heartturnedtoporcelain (Apr 9, 2010)

In all honesty: I stare at everything and anything. My eyes wander and there is no real intent behind it.





Fizz said:


> Some of the titles of these threads should be more welcoming to people who aren't just heterosexual.


This


----------



## Pam (Jul 19, 2011)

I find it interesting that the editors here are happy with your post when they closed mine. I make a difference between looking and staring and specifically asked my question to men who stared. I was asking about cat-calling and also specified that it was neither a vanity question, nor a man-hating one. But over-sensitive people overlooked the question and got all touchy. I was asking only those who stare to creep women out or make us feel dirty. I asked it in the INTJ forum because being an INTJ I knew they would try to answer it logically rather than make douche-baggy comments like - be grateful you are pretty. Then it was moved it to the more "romantic" section. I wonder why the association. I clearly did not see it in the sex and relationship section. It is a social issue that does not need to be romanticized. I hope you don't mind me putting my point here but it seemed like the next best place now that they closed my thread. 

To answer your question...In my experience women don't stare and offend as much as they just look and appreciate for a split second. But one cannot generalize about the entire gender. As long as you don't make your subject feel uncomfortable, looking is okay, I believe. And that goes for both genders. But it never matters what the person is wearing.


----------



## sprinkles (Feb 7, 2010)

We don't 'stare'. _We get enthralled_.


----------



## LittleHawk (Feb 15, 2011)

I don't mind a man looking at my boobs/butt if he wants to. My problem is when it's done distastefully, for example I'm trying to talk to him and he can't focus properly. I think the same applies to women - in context there's no problem with enjoying the view.

And during sex I can't remember ever trying to look pretty, I'm usually too busy enjoying myself. I will say I have noticed my boyfriend does tend to look at my face at this time though. So that is interesting, thanks for posting.


----------



## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

ficsci said:


> So I'm a heterosexual girl, but sometimes I do the same to guys (not the boobs, duh)... I'm especially obsessed with sexy lips (o__o . Feel pretty guilty, but I was wondering whether other women do it too.


I'm not as cued in visually, but on occasion I will run across a guy with certain aspects of his body and/or his proportions being "just right" where I'll try to inconspicuously take more looks. It can be forearms, it can be face, it can be his butt, it can be "the whole package." But it's rare enough that I remember it when it happens. (I know I've joked about Thor a few times, but he was definitely one of the "personality bores me, but wow was he hot," things -- his torso was the right proportion of muscle and thickness to just really grab my attenton.)

Usually I end up being attracted to the guy because of his personality or how he carries himself, and then I find myself examining his body with my eyes in order to acquaint myself with all of him. (For TV/movie personalities, I remember feeling this way about Robert Downey Jr and Scott McGillivray, for example, although the latter definitely caught my eyes too at the beginning.)



> By the way, I think I heard this from a Discovery Channel documentary, but their research reveals that men look at women's faces during sex more than women look at men's faces. It might surprise you if you assume the stereotype that, in sex, men are more physical and women are more emotional. But the hypothesis is that women actually try to look pretty, while men (because of the male-dominated society of our day and age) aren't much to look at. But of course I think there are exceptions


I didn't really think about that much, but typically I like looking into his eyes or running my hands over his face. Anyone I've been with usually seems lost in the experience much of the time.



LittleHawk said:


> I don't mind a man looking at my boobs/butt if he wants to. *My problem is when it's done distastefully, for example I'm trying to talk to him and he can't focus properly.* I think the same applies to women - in context there's no problem with enjoying the view.


ha. Yeah.  AKA the, "hello, my eyes are up here!" thing...



> And during sex I can't remember ever trying to look pretty, I'm usually too busy enjoying myself.


Same here, it's actually one of the things I like about sex, since I typically stop thinking about everything in life and just start living in the moment of the experience.


----------



## lirulin (Apr 16, 2010)

If I am actually staring, it is because I am not aware of what I am looking at. I space out. 

Looking...honestly, most of my life, I have mostly been too spaced out to really notice people - unless I expect them to be there, I don`t even recognise people I know. Recently I am a little more awake, and notice a little more. Something like after looking for an apartment, I notice more signs that apts. are available, since my attention is tuned into that. Similarly, now that I am dating, I sort of have an idea of what I like and very occasionally find myself noticing someone when I used to never be aware at all before. I don`t want anyone new - or a new apartment, for that matter - it is just that my attention expanded slightly. I would never want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, though, so I try not to stare, and I certainly wouldn`t _blame_ them for_ my_ actions... :dry: I think I look at women more, though. After years and years of never giving a shit about outfits, I need some ideas of work-appropriate clothing and, y'know, dressing like an adult, so I keep my eyes open for ideas of things I wouldn't hate.



Pam said:


> I find it interesting that the editors here are happy with your post when they closed mine. I make a difference between looking and staring and specifically asked my question to men who stared. I was asking about cat-calling and also specified that it was neither a vanity question, nor a man-hating one. But over-sensitive people overlooked the question and got all touchy. I was asking only those who stare to creep women out or make us feel dirty.


Yeah, I noticed you specified your target group, but apparently that doesn't matter. I mean, people are used to these things being a venting/trolling post, so I assume that was the assumption, despite all of your caveats. I can understand that to a degree, I suppose, but it all got much uglier than it needed to.
I also find it interesting that "women get creeped out by overt staring that lasts a while to the point it crosses a social boundary, most especially since they are taught to assess risk/fear rape&assault/& that it is their responsibility to control mens' actions" turned into "gosh, men are so hard done by, being treated with caution that way, so unfair!"


----------



## militaryinteldoesntequate (Jul 30, 2010)

I seem to have pretty good reviews with women pertaining to my butt. Yes, I do wear skinny jeans once in a while. I'm also a whore but that's for SOs. I also tend to dress nicer in the cooler months, but being in south Texas I wear simpler clothing like t shirts and shorts so I don't get as many looks.


----------



## Crystall (Mar 30, 2010)

A hot face and a cute butt is hard to resist. I don't think you can help but look if you see someone attractive, even if they are less attractive than your partner. I become somewhat oblivious to other guys when I'm in love though.


----------



## ItsEvan (Aug 4, 2011)

lirulin said:


> I read a study that said it doesn't work on people who have autism, but does on others - not 100% success, but, you know...
> I thought that was cool.


I'm pretty sure that the experiment on yawning concluded that it's contagiousness directly correlates with the empathy of those involved.

With that said, I yawn a lot.


----------



## Napoleptic (Oct 29, 2010)

Jennywocky said:


> ha. Yeah.  AKA the, "hello, my eyes are up here!" thing...


INTP buddy: You were sizing up that guy's brain just now, weren't you?
Me: Oh, please. I'm not *that* bad.
INTP: *raises eyebrow in a "you're kidding, right?" look*
Me: *sheepishly* ...Am I?
INTP: *gesturing from forehead to eyes* My eyes are *down here*.


----------

