# Why do a lot of people seem to dislike Type 4s?



## Arya (Oct 17, 2012)

Kink said:


> Hmm, I wonder how well my flaws fits in.
> 
> 
> Uh... o.o


are you disagreeing or what?


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## HellCat (Jan 17, 2013)

Arya said:


> well I guess it depends what you mean by emotional difficulties. An unhealthy six is going to have severe difficulty being emotional and may even get to the point of being somewhat sociopathic if they're really bad off. I would say that's just as extreme as what a four goes through, although different, because they don't come across as emotional in the same way, even if their behavior is very destructive.


Even healthy sixes have issues being emotional lovey. It has to do with giving up your fucking security and waiting for them to murder you. I do not mean physically.


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## Arya (Oct 17, 2012)

LeoCat said:


> Even healthy sixes have issues being emotional lovey. It has to do with giving up your fucking security and waiting for them to murder you. I do not mean physically.


I'd say that's more average behavior than healthy. I'd argue that healthy sixes are not so stuck in a box of fearing for their security. But I'm not there so what do I know....


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

Arya said:


> are you disagreeing or what?


Heh, I'd say I tend to be rather emotional myself.^^;


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## Golden Rose (Jun 5, 2014)

LeoCat said:


> Not just the young ones.. just attention whores in general are annoying, not always fours.
> 
> so far I like your posts, you fascinate me lady.
> 
> I can tell you are one of the stronger females on perc.


Of course. But between all of those hormones and peer pressure, teenagers tend to be moodier on average.

I am extremely flattered and by that I mean internally screaming, I'm familiar with many of your posts in both this and the gossip section and I honestly enjoy your posts. 
I'm not used to receiving much attention so I'm not gonna lie, it feels good. 
Though I'm still wondering where is the catch, I haven't even done your homework yet!

I don't see myself as particularly strong but I know I have to be if I want to thrive and pull through.


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## HellCat (Jan 17, 2013)

Shamy said:


> Of course. But between all of those hormones and peer pressure, teenagers tend to be moodier on average.
> 
> I am extremely flattered and by that I mean internally screaming, I'm familiar with many of your posts in both this and the gossip section and I honestly enjoy your posts.
> I'm not used to receiving much attention so I'm not gonna lie, it feels good.
> ...


Pm me and we can talk on skype sometime. Thank you so much I am blushing.

I am a weird eccentric persnickety aspie nerd under the comic book heroine personality. I am sure we have similar experiences.. with people going oh my god you have a brain too? and being afraid of our humor. Call it a feeling.

hehe internally screaming. I love it!

I have to swim now but I will get back to you when I am done training for the day. 

When I say strong I don't necessarily mean kung fu chick. Though some of my friends on here are.. or even amazon bad ass. I mean strength of character, integrity, conviction, wisdom, a passion for knowledge.. and I see that in you, thusly you are strong to me.

You have a good spirit. 

I don't say that often.


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## Golden Rose (Jun 5, 2014)

LeoCat said:


> Pm me and we can talk on skype sometime. Thank you so much I am blushing.
> 
> I am a weird eccentric persnickety aspie nerd under the comic book heroine personality. I am sure we have similar experiences.. with people going oh my god you have a brain too? and being afraid of our humor. Call it a feeling.
> 
> ...


I was already pondering about making a PerC skype so I will definitely get back on that.
Let's keep trying to get to know each other, my shell takes a bit to crack but you're well on your way!

I'm ambiguously high functioning aspie (never been tested, a whole carousel of mixed feelings about it) and definitely persnickety and nerdy, although more in the traditional sense. Not geeky enough for the nerds, too weird for the other plain vanilla people.
Your feeling was extremely spot on! This brings back memories, although I still have trouble connecting with people with sounding too dark without meaning to (it's biology, of course it's crude), turning into a quirky, overeager tween or being just plain quiet, shy and blunt. Amy Farrah Fowler is definitely my spirit animal.

I understood you meant strength of character, although I suppose I could pack a mean punch if pushed over the limit, but I genuinely think I'm not quite there yet. I'm confident about what I want to be but I'm a bundle of anxiety, worries and insecurities deep underneath. Even right now I'm questioning how fast can I defenestrate your initial good impression of me with all of this attention grabbing yet i feel confident about it too. It's weird but I'm learning to embrace it. Being both independent and co-dependent.

I like you. I don't feel under pressure and you're really easy to talk to.
Now let me melt into a huge puddle of fluff. *still grinning like a goof*


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

notalwayshuman said:


> I confuse 4s with 6s and both have a tendency to add wonder to my life or ruin aspects of it.



That seems ironically appropriate.


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## Watercolourful (Jan 12, 2013)

tanstaafl28 said:


> That seems ironically appropriate.


How so?


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

caramel_choctop said:


> Pay attn to the words _"a lot of people" and "seem to"_ in the topic line. This really isn't the problem you're making it out to be. And if you're that determined to believe it is, good for you, but why advertise the fact? No one is going to give you brownie points for being somehow above saying negative things about each type. There are plenty of people on this forum who understand that no type is superior to another. It's true that folks around here claim to be Fours (rightly or not) and then piss and moan about how speshul they are. But that doesn't exclude other types from having their own faults (Threes can be vainglorious, Nines passive-aggressive to a fault, Eights plain old aggressive). Fours are singled out only because they draw rather more attention to themselves online (at least, on PerC) and thus draw people's ire.
> 
> These are generalisations, yes, but on that basis you could fault everyone who's ever written about the Enneagram for typism. We _have to generalise_ if we're going to categorise anyone, ever.



Again, _that's the point_. This sort of thread, no matter how innocent the content may actually be, tends to perpetuate the overall assumption of typism; whether that was the intent or not. Instead of focusing the attention on why some people dislike fours, maybe instead ask people what their experiences with fours have been like: this is a neutral position. Some people may have had some negative experiences, but others may have had positive. Its even possible that some have had a mixture of both. 

My overall experiences with fours have been positive. There are two fours in particular with whom I have been working with on a local Enneagram group for over a year; and they are wonderfully creative, inventive, and have made positive influences in my life. I enjoy their company greatly. It might also be because, as a social 5, I have greater access to both wings, and both myself and my mother share 4 in our tritypes (I'm a 584, she's a 147). I am comfortable around fours. I understand their moodiness, soul searching, and desire for authenticity. I earned a minor in theater, and I suspect that's a huge draw for some type fours (if not on stage, then behind the scenes). My interests have always been nearly evenly split between the artistic and technical environments. I often feel like part of what I do is act like a "bridge" between the two.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

notalwayshuman said:


> How so?


Ones tend to have difficulty with change and disruptions to their carefully constructed routines. Fours and (particularly counter-phobic) sixes are likely to regularly introduce varying amounts of change and disruption into their lives, and the lives of those around them. It's not as bad as putting a one and a seven together, but it can be interesting.


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## Watercolourful (Jan 12, 2013)

tanstaafl28 said:


> Ones tend to have difficulty with change and disruptions to their carefully constructed routines. Fours and (particularly counter-phobic) sixes are likely to regularly introduce varying amounts of change and disruption into their lives, and the lives of those around them. It's not as bad as putting a one and a seven together, but it can be interesting.


Ha, I see.


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## LyeLye (Apr 24, 2014)

tanstaafl28 said:


> Again, _that's the point_. This sort of thread, no matter how innocent the content may actually be, tends to perpetuate the overall assumption of typism; whether that was the intent or not. Instead of focusing the attention on why some people dislike fours, maybe instead ask people what their experiences with fours have been like: this is a neutral position. Some people may have had some negative experiences, but others may have had positive. Its even possible that some have had a mixture of both.
> 
> My overall experiences with fours have been positive. There are two fours in particular with whom I have been working with on a local Enneagram group for over a year; and they are wonderfully creative, inventive, and have made positive influences in my life. I enjoy their company greatly. It might also be because, as a social 5, I have greater access to both wings, and both myself and my mother share 4 in our tritypes (I'm a 584, she's a 147). I am comfortable around fours. I understand their moodiness, soul searching, and desire for authenticity. I earned a minor in theater, and I suspect that's a huge draw for some type fours (if not on stage, then behind the scenes). My interests have always been nearly evenly split between the artistic and technical environments. I often feel like part of what I do is act like a "bridge" between the two.


Perhaps you're right that it would have been better to take a more neutral stance on it and ask what people's experiences with 4s have been in general; indeed, I somewhat regret not doing so. But the reason why it was phrased that way was because I had a specific question in mind. However, I honestly don't think it has devolved into typism. There has been no bashing, everyone has been respectful and, even if the question was phrased in a negative manner, I've felt that the atmosphere of this thread has been positive. I know that I've learned a few things and I genuinely enjoyed reading the comments. If you would like, I could make another thread that allowed people to discuss their experiences, positive and negative, with all types.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

notalwayshuman said:


> Ha, I see.


I have tremendous respect for ones. My mother is a one.


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## Watercolourful (Jan 12, 2013)

tanstaafl28 said:


> I have tremendous respect for ones. My mother is a one.


Honestly, I'm thinking lately that I'm probably mistyped. It's cool, though, that your mother is a one. I don't know that I have respect for any personality type in particular. My respect is extremely individual based.


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## LyeLye (Apr 24, 2014)

I rather like 1s as well, though I can clash with that Type. I had the person the person I'm in a relationship with take the test and he scored as a 1. Actually, he had me guess what he'd answer and if I was wrong I'd change it. (I wasn't often wrong). But yeah, I think he'd agree to me being disruptive in his life (of course, it goes both ways), but I guess only he could say whether it was positive or negative, haha. I enjoy how objective 1s try to be, though in my experience it can be frustrating to, since not everything is objective.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

LyeLye said:


> Perhaps you're right that it would have been better to take a more neutral stance on it and ask what people's experiences with 4s have been in general; indeed, I somewhat regret not doing so. But the reason why it was phrased that way was because I had a specific question in mind. However, I honestly don't think it has devolved into typism. There has been no bashing, everyone has been respectful and, even if the question was phrased in a negative manner, I've felt that the atmosphere of this thread has been positive. I know that I've learned a few things and I genuinely enjoyed reading the comments. If you would like, I could make another thread that allowed people to discuss their experiences, positive and negative, with all types.


I could have worded my post better as well I did not mean to seem overly critical. I am sensitive to typism because I think of it along the same lines as bullying. I don't think this particular thread has devolved, but I suspect that you could have gained a broader audience with a more neutrally phrased title. Some people will avoid threads that they associate as potentially typist. I've made positive contributions to the thread myself. I invite you to continue to explore your curiosities, as that is something that our types have in common, being "next-door-neighbors" and all.


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## LyeLye (Apr 24, 2014)

notalwayshuman said:


> Honestly, I'm thinking lately that I'm probably mistyped. It's cool, though, that your mother is a one. I don't know that I have respect for any personality type in particular. My respect is extremely individual based.


Oh! What Type do you think you might be, then?


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

notalwayshuman said:


> Honestly, I'm thinking lately that I'm probably mistyped. It's cool, though, that your mother is a one. I don't know that I have respect for any personality type in particular. My respect is extremely individual based.


What in particular leads you to think you're mistyped? How can we help?


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## Watercolourful (Jan 12, 2013)

LyeLye said:


> Oh! What Type do you think you might be, then?





tanstaafl28 said:


> What in particular leads you to think you're mistyped?



I actually am not sure yet. I'm considering 6, though. I posted a questionnaire here if you're interested. And I think I may be mistyped because I don't struggle with or fight anger and don't have the self control of a one.


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