# I'm not doing well with my mental health



## Conspiracy (Dec 1, 2013)

I have depression and anxiety and drink too much alcohol to cope. It's obviously difficult to see a doctor/therapist right now due to the lockdown. I'm crying a lot and have nothing to live for right now. Alcohol is the only thing that numbs any of this. I don't drink every single day but drink most days. I just don't know what to do. Are there any online support groups I could go to? I'm not doing very well financially either so I can't pay a whole lot. 

I'm not suicidal or anything (I fear death too much to kill myself) but I'm just in a really dark place right now.


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## Lovable (Apr 1, 2017)

You can go online and find an AA group. 

https://alcoholics-anonymous.eu/online-meetings/

It's free and everyone is welcome.Don't be afraid to reach out, they can be really nice


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

:hugs::hugs::hugs:


Conspiracy said:


> I have depression and anxiety and drink too much alcohol to cope. It's obviously difficult to see a doctor/therapist right now due to the lockdown. I'm crying a lot and have nothing to live for right now. Alcohol is the only thing that numbs any of this. I don't drink every single day but drink most days. I just don't know what to do. Are there any online support groups I could go to? I'm not doing very well financially either so I can't pay a whole lot.
> 
> I'm not suicidal or anything (I fear death too much to kill myself) but I'm just in a really dark place right now.


:hugs::hugs:


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## Rascal01 (May 22, 2016)

Talk helps. You did the right thing by coming here and speaking up.


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## Conspiracy (Dec 1, 2013)

Thanks guys <3 and thanks for the link. I'm pissed off at myself for getting to this stage. I can't really remember how it happened. I didn't drink alone for years but suddenly started buying bottles of wine to drink alone at weekends. I just thought to myself that I'm an adult and women drinking wine alone is normal, right? It just slowly got out of hand. I started replacing wine with vodka and started drinking in the week. I'm drunk right now. I know this isn't normal or healthy but it feels so good. I'm an overthinker and sadly it helps, I wish it didn't. I'm obese because of this and I'm sick of hangovers. I haven't had any serious health scares yet but I know it will happen. My uncle died of alcoholism and that should scare me enough to quit but it doesn't.


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

Have you called your doctor?
Is is there anyone you can talk to?
Posting about it here was a good start

Alcoholics Anonymous is a good place once this is all over
My mother was a member for 35 years before she died of cancer
She never fell off the wagon


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## Conspiracy (Dec 1, 2013)

I honestly need to change doctors once all of this is over. I've told him that I drink too much and he just told me not to and that was it. I've had the same doctor since I was a kid and he has always been awful. I had appendicitis as a kid, my mother phoned him saying I was seriously ill and he told her she was an "over-reactive mother" Thankfully she practically begged him to give me a home visit, and once he did he immediately called an ambulance. He's incompetent and doesn't take me seriously at all. I'm on antidepressants but that's as far as he's willing to go.


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## Laguna (Mar 21, 2012)

There are a lot of free phone numbers / help lines out there. Not just for alcohol- but anxiety and depression- even Covid related. Do not be angry at yourself. Most of the population deals with these issues at some time in their lives- and some all of their life. Everyone copes differently. You are not alone. Call one of the free numbers. Google- they are everywhere. What the hell---- these are trained professionals sitting and waiting for you to call them. What do you have to lose? Don't give up on yourself. This pandemic has a lot of people out of sorts. You'll get through.


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

I have a drinking problem that's past what yours is now. But if you continue to drink as your primary coping skill, it could get a lot worse. My best friend who almost killed herself while drinking described alcoholism as a 'progressively bad disease.'

Anyway--I find I have to really try to think of ways to deal with anxiety and depression, in order to replace alcohol. It's harder to do this once you've developed a really ingrained habit.

Some things that help with anxiety and depression for me: 

Meditation and visualization. There are a lot of free meditation and visualization tools out there--check them out.

Nutrition and supplements. If you can--perhaps try out some nootropics like l-theanine. And melatonin can help you sleep at night. I would suggest more, but the ones I'm thinking of are mostly to address the withdrawal of alcohol, and I'm not sure if you go through that or not. 

I will say that there's a lot of evidence that milk thistle helps preserve the liver from alcohol damage--so if you have a propensity to binge drink or drink problematically, I highly recommend you look into milk thistle, even if to just help you preserve your health while you're trying to figure out how to address your depression and anxiety in different ways. 

Exercise helps with pretty much everything (though there is some possibility that vigorous exercise can aggravate bipolar disorder). Exercise is best earlier, so that your evening can be more focused on relaxing and getting ready for bed.

And then just creature comforts--routine can help with anxiety. So having a cup of tea or a cup of warm milk in the evening can help, at least for me. Sometimes it's just being grounded in physical reality and seeing that it is safe that helps. And little rituals can help with that. Or even just giving yourself permission to watch TV or play video games in the evening, instead of drinking.

Cognitive behavioral therapy. There's a great book called the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, that I think has good suggestions not only for anxiety, but also negative thinking associated with depression.

These are just a few suggestions, but I hope they show that there are lots of different possibilities out there for you.

I think you should listen to yourself about alcohol. Not only is alcohol considered a depressant (so can aggravate depression) but it also increases anxiety on the days after you drink--this becomes stronger the more it becomes a habit. People sometimes end up using alcohol to medicate anxiety, but they end up have worse anxiety because of the alcohol, especially the day after drinking.

It's not worth it. There are so many better coping mechanisms you can learn other than alcohol. So good for you for listening to yourself.

Also, antidepressants can have negative side effects when mixed with alcohol--all the more reason to replace alcohol with a better coping mechanism that makes you feel good, and that you choose for yourself.


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## Lovable (Apr 1, 2017)

Conspiracy said:


> Thanks guys <3 and thanks for the link. I'm pissed off at myself for getting to this stage. I can't really remember how it happened. I didn't drink alone for years but suddenly started buying bottles of wine to drink alone at weekends. I just thought to myself that I'm an adult and women drinking wine alone is normal, right? It just slowly got out of hand. I started replacing wine with vodka and started drinking in the week. I'm drunk right now. I know this isn't normal or healthy but it feels so good. I'm an overthinker and sadly it helps, I wish it didn't. I'm obese because of this and I'm sick of hangovers. I haven't had any serious health scares yet but I know it will happen. My uncle died of alcoholism and that should scare me enough to quit but it doesn't.


It is really important that you don't blame yourself. Accept you did something that you are not happy about but don't punish yourself with wicked thoughts or stuff like that. You need yourself to be kind towards you or it will just make it all worse.

I really do hope that you reach out. If you join the program you can find a sponsor who can help you deal with your emotions and frustration. 

Believe that you will get better and don't loose hope. I'm really proud of you admitting your problem, remember to be proud of yourself too. You have taken a big step towards getting better


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## Buttahfly (Jul 30, 2013)

I would advice you to look for a psychotherapist.
Doctors and psychiatrists usually aren't the best regarding mental health issues. Understanding and caring at best, in my experience. A psychotherapist can help you to find different coping mechanisms and to find the root of that pain that you are trying to numb.


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## Rascal01 (May 22, 2016)

Negative behavior will not yield positive results.

You are not likely to move foreword in a favorable manner while in this state. If you want better, you need to do better.

Here are some ideas:

Get a shower and clean yourself up.

Let some fresh air and sunshine into your living space.

Pick up your stuff and tidy up a bit.

Plan right now to drop down one dress size. When the planning is out of the way, act on the plan.

Cut your weight by cutting down alcohol consumption. Do that by planning your consumption. Reduce intake by setting an acceptable amount over a defined period of time.

The obvious alternative is to stop consuming alcohol.

If you cannot control you’re drinking contact AA and participate in the program. Be your own best friend and save your own life.

If you are in trouble and can’t cope, see a mental health professional. This is a good time as lots of people are reaching out for help during the pandemic.

Your focus should be getting back up on your feet and getting your dignity back.

We can talk but you are going to need to make an effort to improve your lot in life.

Don’t linger long in your present state. It’s unhealthy.


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## Fennel (Jan 11, 2017)

Welcome to the depression club. I have to say, I like your username. I don't know about alcoholism, but I'd abused my meds a few times. It scared me how much I could hurt myself just to escape my problems.

There are some free resources here - https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself

What's got you down? I mean, what caused your depression or triggers it?
And, perhaps more important, what gets you up? What interests you, makes you smile?

Feel free to message me about anything. I have a lot of free time atm because of lockdown.


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## Conspiracy (Dec 1, 2013)

Thanks everyone <3 There's just a lot right now. I haven't seen my boyfriend for two months because of corona, he lives with his mother because he's her carer (she has a lot of medical problems) and the doctors advised her to keep away from others outside the household. I don't want to see him in case I pass it on to him and he may pass it on to her. I just miss him. I'm talking with my one friend on facetime a lot but I'm still really lonely. 

I also have a lot of chronic pain due to Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Booze also helps with that.

I just came back home from a walk so I'm forcing myself to go outside more. We can go for two walks a day in Wales now so I may go for another later.


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## Dan E (Jun 15, 2012)

Conspiracy said:


> Thanks everyone <3 There's just a lot right now. I haven't seen my boyfriend for two months because of corona, he lives with his mother because he's her carer (she has a lot of medical problems) and the doctors advised her to keep away from others outside the household. I don't want to see him in case I pass it on to him and he may pass it on to her. I just miss him. I'm talking with my one friend on facetime a lot but I'm still really lonely.
> 
> I also have a lot of chronic pain due to Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Booze also helps with that.
> 
> I just came back home from a walk so I'm forcing myself to go outside more. We can go for two walks a day in Wales now so I may go for another later.


You are inspiring. As a lover of the sun but a fearer of all things people-related, I have been really conflicted during this pandemic and feeding into my isolationist tendencies. 
However, after reading your post, I am going to go on a bike ride and listen _only _to the music I want to listen to. I will skip 11 songs if I have to.

I'm so thankful to have caught your thread.


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## fihe (Aug 30, 2012)

I know you said you aren't doing well financially right now, but are you working? I felt the most depressed in my life when I was out of college and couldn't get steady work. The worst thing was that it left me with too much time to be sad. Even when I wasn't making much money, I didn't have as much time to be sad when I kept busy.

Make sure you're getting enough sleep. My doctor had me stop using a screen at least an hour before bed, which now forces me to use my last hour before bed taking a shower, washing dishes, preparing food, or...reading a book :O I've woken up feeling better since I've started this, and notice the difference when I don't do it. I'd recommend you try it to help you sleep.

Do you live alone or with family? Do you prefer being around other people or by yourself?


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## Senah (Oct 17, 2017)

Hang in there! I would recommend reaching out to local therapists/counselors, and see who is doing virtual sessions. Most places in the States are doing that, and it is great.

Another place is a support group. For people that don't have access to local groups, this is an awesome website:

Support Groups Central | Live Online Peer Support Groups for Life's Challenges

They do groups for rare disease, depression, bipolar, caretakers, etc. Often it is good to just be able to talk to people who understand what you are going through.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Conspiracy said:


> I have depression and anxiety and drink too much alcohol to cope. It's obviously difficult to see a doctor/therapist right now due to the lockdown. I'm crying a lot and have nothing to live for right now. Alcohol is the only thing that numbs any of this. I don't drink every single day but drink most days. I just don't know what to do. Are there any online support groups I could go to? I'm not doing very well financially either so I can't pay a whole lot.
> 
> I'm not suicidal or anything (I fear death too much to kill myself) but I'm just in a really dark place right now.


I've been there. I know how it feels to be depressed and not know what to do with one's self. This time is pounding on us like rain on a raw nerve. If you can find a form of self-expression, I humbly suggest you use that. Write, draw, paint, play music, code, whatever feels right to you. Let free your thoughts and feelings. Let them flow and don't judge them, just express them. Try to get out and do some physical activity if you can. Take a walk if nothing else. Things always seem better for me when I walk. 

Above all, don't give up. Come on here and tell us how you feel as you need to. People will respond. We will do whatever we can to support each other through this difficult time. We are a family. You are never ever alone! 💗


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## Sparky (Mar 15, 2010)

You can try listening to music that moves you and which you can listen to repeatedly. That will help lift your mood.

You can also play League of Legends, and learn the various champions and their play styles. 

Learning and doing something is better than just thinking how miserable you are. 

You can also release Emotional Repressions: MBTI+: Emotional Repressions, Developments, and How They...


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