# Men-Post Sex Text



## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Men, how long does it take you to shoot your partner a "thank you" text after sex once you've parted? This text has many forms "Thank you for....", "Yum..","That was awesome...", "Have a good night/great day!", etc.

This question is not only for men in relationships, it also goes out to the playuhs. In many ways the playuhs are even better at this courtesy because they know what's up and want women to keep coming back to fuck them. 

Women, how long do you like waiting to get a "thank you" text after sex? Do you shoot one over to them after a certain period of time and not care if they respond? 

You do not have to have a hetero preference to answer this thread. In fact I'd like to hear from some lesbians on how long they wait after to contact their partner.

I usually like a give and take in a relationship. I will send over a short text to them sometime that day if I don't hear from them first and thank them for our sexy time. They usually respond. If they didn't sometime that day, I'd be really hurt. 

But if I notice I'm the only one doing it all the time in whatever relationship we have, it pisses me off. Ideally, I love getting a "Wow, babe that was wonderful, thank you for the yummy breakfast " within a few hours after their departure. But I'm happy receiving it before the sun goes down. Someone who doesn't write me at least a thoughtful text after and waits like days would be a piece of shit in my book. Fortunately that hasn't happened to me, but I have had to tell a couple of guys in my relationships that I'd like them to be more proactive in sending me a post-sex thank you text that day because it means a lot to me. 

In my opinion, it's like chores.,lol. Get it done right away before you forget. Text her once you get home. Or do it at your lunch break. Just do it before you fall asleep that night. Make it short, simple, and quick. "That was nice. TY ;-)" 
:wink:


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## Mountainshepherd (Feb 23, 2012)

Interesting question.
Personally I don't see sex as something you thank someone for, there are two parties involved the sex itself is kind of a thank you. Sex on your own is just masturbation and I don't thank myself for that, although that does sound like an idea for a new thank you card.

"Thank you for helping me relieve my tension, it really helped me clear my head"
Sincerely,
Your penis.

Hallmark better get on that......... by which I do not mean my penis.


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## JoeChip (Feb 28, 2012)

While I've been with my current SO for many years, when I was single I never was the one to contact afterwards.

I've always relied on the woman to contact me as that was my indicator that things were good. If she didn't call, leave a voice-mail, email, IM or text afterwards (and usually within a day or two, if not the next morning), then it meant it was only a one night thing to her or I didn't stack-up in some way.

To be fair, I have always been the aggressor and usually get with women that are rebellious, gave chase or put up resistance. Once you've gone through the efforts to seal the deal with them, they are usually VERY apt to check-in. I always got the feeling that those kind of women felt many guys were lacking as they never sealed the deal with them or were too chicken to push things aggressively against the constant tide they put up. So them calling me after all that effort only seems fair. 

When I DID get that contact, I always made sure she felt like she was the biggest love goddess that ever walked the planet and give fair warning that all the forces of nature would be needed to hold me back from trying to consume them whole the next time we met. It was never a "player" thing but just something that seemed natural, fun and what she wanted.

Way back in the prehistoric times and I was in my 20's.. contacting a woman the next day after sex almost always sealed the doom of the relationship. It was not "proper" as it made you too clingy or needy in their eyes. When we get older, of course this is likely not the case but we still play by what worked.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

JoeChip said:


> While I've been with my current SO for many years, when I was single I never was the one to contact afterwards.
> 
> I've always relied on the woman to contact me as that was my indicator that things were good. If she didn't call, leave a voice-mail, email, IM or text afterwards (and usually within a day or two, if not the next morning), then it meant it was only a one night thing to her or I didn't stack-up in some way.
> 
> ...


Omg!!! Thank you! You just interpreted a HUGE chunk of my love life! I'm amazed.


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## La Li Lu Le Lo (Aug 15, 2011)

This topic's romance ratings are dangerously low!

Why say 'thank you' when you can say 'I love you'? Why text when you can say it _right then and there?_


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## sleepyhead (Nov 14, 2011)

pinkrasputin said:


> Men, how long does it take you to shoot your partner a "thank you" text after sex once you've parted? This text has many forms "Thank you for....", "Yum..","That was awesome...", "Have a good night/great day!", etc.
> 
> This question is not only for men in relationships, it also goes out to the playuhs. In many ways the playuhs are even better at this courtesy because they know what's up and want women to keep coming back to fuck them.
> 
> ...


I can't say this is something I have ever really done or ever really received or ever really wanted. In relationships, if we've had sex and then parted ways, I usually won't talk about it at all after. We'll either talk on the phone and there's no mention of it, or we'll just see each other the next time we see each other and there's no mention. Directly after (like still lying in bed) we might talk about how it was good but that's about the extent of it.

In casual sex relationships, I don't really want to hear from the guy too soon after. The only time that I did anything like this was when one particular fellow and I were sending dirty emails back and forth - but I don't think that's what you're talking about. 

Texting doesn't really come into it for me because I'm just not someone who uses the text function very often. 

I don't really feel the need to "thank" anyone after sex and I don't like my space invaded on so I usually withdraw for a few days after as well. Well, except now because I live with my partner.


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## Paradox1987 (Oct 9, 2010)

Thinking on it, I believe that I complete the "what a wonderful time" formalities the morning after.


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## geekofalltrades (Feb 8, 2012)

Why would I send a text to someone thanking them for sex? Why would I thank someone for sex at all, as though they were doing me a favor or inconveniencing themselves by having sex with me? Two people are involved in sex (more if you're into that), and they both get something out it: they get _sex._ I despair of the mindset that requires thanks for sex.


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## Siren (Jun 25, 2011)

I don't like to be thanked after sex.


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## Nomen Nescio (Feb 13, 2012)

Wait, am I suppose to text people after sex? Is this some sort of norm I'm totally unaware of?


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

I have never sent a "thank you" text after sex, nor have ever I received/expected such acknowledgment. I find it awkward and unnecessary. Then again, I haven't really had casual sex. In the context of a relationship, it would be a pointless formality. It doesn't mean anything to me. Anyway, it's an interesting concept. @JoeChip, that was an informative post.


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

Huh, this is a concept i'm not familiar with, i'm befuddled. :shocked:
Who does that ? Really, anyone.? This is a first for me, i've never heard of
such a thing. If i was having casual sex and someone called or texted
me just to say thanks, i would die laughing. And no, i wouldn't ever text/call
anyone to say thanks for the booty, i've never had these kinds of expectations
from others or for myself. 

Sorry LMAO just thinking about it, how awkward would that be. Then again casual sex
isn't something i favored. Just to make it clear
incase anyone gets silly ideas, no this is not a
ENFP thing, Lolz


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## Eerie (Feb 9, 2011)

After I have sex, I snuggle my boyfriend and tell him I love him. I might also call him the clit commander. Then I pee and fall asleep. Or who knows, maybe a round two. :tongue: It would be awkward to text him, yanno... with us both laying in the same bed and all.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

I think theres at least an obligatory effort to contact someone after.. and not too long after, or it seems like a "booty call" (dear lord.. did i just say booty call.. lol). 

It doesn't have to be a thank you per se.. but just.. something. I think a lot of people are shy about talking about the sex, but to just call and chat for a while soon after, to keep the connection going, thats appropriate. Maybe call on the way home.. or text something sweet.. or the next day for sure, no later. It lets you know it wasn't casual and meaningless.


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## Cheveyo (Nov 19, 2010)

Why would I thank them?

That sounds like something you'd do with someone you're not actually in a relationship with, but are simply having casual sex with.


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

Promethea said:


> I think theres at least an obligatory effort to contact someone after.. and not too long after, or it seems like a "booty call" (dear lord.. did i just say booty call.. lol).
> 
> It doesn't have to be a thank you per se.. but just.. something. I think a lot of people are shy about talking about the sex, but to just call and chat for a while soon after, to keep the connection going, thats appropriate. Maybe call on the way home.. or text something sweet.. or the next day for sure, no later. It lets you know it wasn't casual and meaningless.


Isn't that what casual sex is, casual. It doesn't have to be meaningless, and in some cases it is. What i mean by meaningless is there are no expectations attached. Maybe different people have different ideas of what it means to have casual sex, for me it was just that , casual with nothing attached, including validation of what it meant to X. I was never under the understanding that there was any kind of connection to keep up. If there was this expectation of connection, then it wouldn't be casual. Having these expectations from men/women who are only looking for something casual is putting pressure on them . heh, booty call, yes. Casual sex in my mind are boody calls, nothing more or less. Enjoy, if they call to say they enjoyed the night great, but to have expectations to have this confirmed is a bit _needy_ in my opinion.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

I don't want to be thanked for sex, ever, unless I just gave a spectacularly good blow job, then you can thank me right then and there, in person. 

I expect to be thanked for things like lap dances, massages, and web cam shows. But that's not sex, that's PERFORMING. 

As far as contact after sex, yes, not calling or texting for days on end for any kind of acknowledgment is weird and wrong.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

LaLiLuLeLo said:


> This topic's romance ratings are dangerously low!
> 
> Why say 'thank you' when you can say 'I love you'? Why text when you can say it _right then and there?_





Siren said:


> I don't like to be thanked after sex.


. 



geekofalltrades said:


> Why would I send a text to someone thanking them for sex? Why would I thank someone for sex at all, as though they were doing me a favor or inconveniencing themselves by having sex with me? Two people are involved in sex (more if you're into that), and they both get something out it: they get _sex._ I despair of the mindset that requires thanks for sex.



Ok people, don't take the "thank you" remark so concretely. How about just a thoughtful text to send to someone after sex so they don't feel like a whore or a piece of meat? Even with an FWB, you can honor them as a person this way even if you did just use their body to masturbate. 

It just lets them know you are not taking them or their time for granted. I mean, there are other people your partner could choose to fuck. 

As a musician, I thank other ensemble members who performed with me after a performance even though we are all reaping the benefit and getting paid. I enjoyed working with them and appreciate the time spent. We make good music together, let's do it again soon.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

Cheveyo said:


> Why would I thank them?
> 
> That sounds like something you'd do with someone you're not actually in a relationship with, but are simply having casual sex with.


Or having a performer/client relationship with.

Thanking someone for sex, in my mind, would put sex on the level of a house chore, like I was doing my "duty" as a woman. I don't want my sex life to ever be like that, no siree bobbykins.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

MuChApArAdOx said:


> Isn't that what casual sex is, casual. It doesn't have to be meaningless, and in some cases it is. What i mean by meaningless is there are no expectations attached. Maybe different people have different ideas of what it means to have casual sex, for me it was just that , casual with nothing attached, including validation of what it meant to X. I was never under the understanding that there was any kind of connection to keep up. If there was this expectation of connection, then it wouldn't be casual. Having these expectations from men/women who are only looking for something casual is putting pressure on them . heh, booty call, yes. Casual sex in my mind are boody calls, nothing more or less. Enjoy, if they call to say they enjoyed the night great, but to have expectations to have this confirmed is a bit _needy._ in my opinion.


If I did something that casual, without wanting a connection, then I suppose no txt message would be best. Why bother.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Promethea said:


> I think theres at least an obligatory effort to contact someone after.. and not too long after, or it seems like a "booty call" (dear lord.. did i just say booty call.. lol).
> 
> It doesn't have to be a thank you per se.. but just.. something. I think a lot of people are shy about talking about the sex, but to just call and chat for a while soon after, to keep the connection going, thats appropriate. Maybe call on the way home.. or text something sweet.. or the next day for sure, no later. It lets you know it wasn't casual and meaningless.


My god, I feel like you're the _only_ person who understood what I was talking about.

But for others who have posted- for the record, I don't have casual sex and I do not like being reduced to a "booty call" within a relationship. And if a guy lacks manners to contact me in some way for a couple of days, I will quickly question his ability to be in a relationship with me. I don't like being treated as if I'm a piece of ass. I want a relationship with refined men who don't treat me like they are using me for one thing. It's not hard to find a man who only wants to fuck me. Moreover, I can only be your private whore if you don't treat me like one. 

But you know what? I also don't like being with men who open their mouth when they chew food or fart at a dinner table. But if that's your thing- go for it.

You can forget about a hooker once you've fucked one. She in no way is going to bitch about you not contacting her afterwards. In a FWB situation, I still think you can share a thoughtful note. Aren't you at least grateful that neither of you had to pay? Isn't nice to at least give your wrists a break?


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> My god, I feel like you're the _only_ person who understood what I was talking about.
> 
> But for others who have posted- for the record, I don't have casual sex and I do not like being reduced to a "booty call" within a relationship. And if a guy lacks manners to contact me in some way for a couple of days, I will quickly question his ability to be in a relationship with me. I don't like being treated as if I'm a piece of ass. I want a relationship with refined men who don't treat me like they are using me for one thing. I can only be your private whore if you don't treat me like one.
> 
> ...


My point was that I actually expect to be thanked under circumstances where I'm closer to being treated like a whore i.e. as an adult entertainer.

I mean, in your post you said you want to be contacted immediately by text, and if a guy waits a few days he's an ass. I would only agree with that statement if we're talking about a committed relationship.

I don't think your personal standard for expecting acknowledgment for sex right away is as standard as not wanting people to chew with their mouth open or fart at the dinner table.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

fourtines said:


> I don't think your personal standard for expecting acknowledgment for sex right away is as standard as not wanting people to chew with their mouth open or fart at the dinner table.


 I agree with you and it is why I made the thread. It's actually a good thing it's not as standard for all people because it can quickly filter out those I know I don't want to be with. 

Even though open mouth food chewing isn't in the same category for everyone, it's certainly the same thing for me, if not worse. 

In making this thread, I really wanted to understand others motivations for not doing it while also throwing my personal opinion out there. I mean as people in the world there is a tendency to cross paths at different points. It makes things a bit easier when we can understand why our differences cause so much frustration.

Btw, I certainly don't see it as "acknowledgment for sex" but rather "I respect you as a person. You mean more than the doorknob or Fleshlight I could have had."


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## Solrac026 (Mar 6, 2012)

What I don't get is why you don't thank each other right after sex instead of expecting a text later that day or the next day?? This is just my armchair speculation, but what it sounds like is that you are expecting more than just "friends with benefits." I thought the point of friends with benefits/causal sex is that there wouldn't be these kinds of expectations. In this case, maybe a steady relationship would better fit for your needs.

If I ever had casual sex, I would thank the woman right after it. I would NEVER send a thank you text out of fear that she will interpret that as me developing feelings and/or neediness, which would inevitably lead to the loss of intercourse with said woman.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> I agree with you and it is why I made the thread. It's actually a good thing it's not as standard for all people because it can quickly filter out those I know I don't want to be with.
> 
> Even though open mouth food chewing isn't in the same category for everyone, it's certainly the same thing for me, if not worse.
> 
> ...


Well see I don't immediately expect men to disrespect me or see me as a piece of meat, I guess? And I know how profusely men can thank women who perform "professional services," and that's because, in the man's mind, he's assuming she didn't want to do it.

And that's why I don't like it. It makes me think of a man being insecure that the woman didn't enjoy the sex like he did, like she's performing a service like a stripper, adult entertainer, whore ...or just a "dutiful" wife.

That is my personal connotation I have with being thanked for sexual acts, unless it's during or immediately after the act in person, and you were performing something that ONLY gave one person pleasure. In that context, it makes sense to thank someone if you're the only one who got off, or they worked hard to please you.

I don't presume men don't respect me if they don't text me after morning sex. I just don't have this state of mind.

I do, however, understand, that when dating someone in a more casual way or in the beginning of a relationship, that it is very important to have those follow up calls and texts within a couple of days, of course, sure.

But in an on-going relationship to act like every sex act was an event I should be thanked for makes me feel like Edith Bunker, or like I'm the sex slave of Hugh Hefner.

I also think it would be unreasonable for me to expect my partner to make a big huge deal out of sex every single time it happened if it happened regularly.

To each their own.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Solrac026 said:


> What I don't get is why you don't thank each other right after sex instead of expecting a text later that day or the next day?? This is just my armchair speculation, but what it sounds like is that you are expecting more than just "friends with benefits." I thought the point of friends with benefits/causal sex is that there wouldn't be these kinds of expectations. In this case, maybe a steady relationship would better fit for your needs.
> 
> If I ever had casual sex, I would thank the woman right after it. I would NEVER send a thank you text out of fear that she will interpret that as me developing feelings and/or neediness, which would inevitably lead to the loss of intercourse with said woman.


 There is no way in hell I'd ever be in a FWB situation. Not my style.

But I do have a couple playuh friends and swinger friends who will still aknowlege anybody they've just slept with. 

But thank you for defining FWB. It's hooker sex for the mutually poor?


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> But thank you for defining FWB. It's hooker sex for the mutually poor?


Um, no. 

You're pretty judgmental about sex acts I've noticed.


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## Hokahey (Oct 8, 2010)

Think about the carbon footprint though! :shocked:

They say that 80k+ people have sex everyday.

As far as the thread goes, the first girl I was with (very short fling, basically 4 days) well all 4 days we talked and I mentioned how I had a great time and hoped she did as well. Then my first real relationship she moved in with me and we lived together for over a year. Once in awhile I would text her talking about "our time" together, but not all of them, most of the words were spoken right after the event or even later on that day but we lived together so it wasn't texted often. I always told her I appreciated her so I guess I've never missed the opportunity to "thank" her.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

MuChApArAdOx said:


> Huh, this is a concept i'm not familiar with, i'm befuddled. :shocked:
> Who does that ? Really, anyone.? This is a first for me, i've never heard of
> such a thing. If i was having casual sex and someone called or texted
> me just to say thanks, i would die laughing. And no, i wouldn't ever text/call
> ...


What gave you the impression in my OP that this was about casual sex? 

Do I need the repost the OP? I'm pretty clear and have made allowances.


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## reletative (Dec 17, 2010)

fourtines said:


> Um, no.
> 
> You're pretty judgmental about sex acts I've noticed.


i think that was a joke? at least i read it that way.




Anyways, I think I understand the main point. There should be an emotional connection that keeps going after sex. Sex can be just a sexual act or it can be a way to create an emotional connection. If you are in it for the emotional connection, then you would definitely want that emotional need met in whatever form it looks like for you. WHether its a text later that day that lets the other person know they're love, or a prolonged hug goodbye, or i've even seen some guys send flowers after a big night. 

Everybody's emotional need is met a little differently, the important thing is that it gets met.


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## paper lilies (Dec 6, 2011)

As a woman in general... I'd honestly be scared if someone _thanked_ me for having sex with them.
How awkward would that be? Especially via text message.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

Khys said:


> i think that was a joke? at least i read it that way.


I hope it was a joke.

Hooker sex = man paying woman who doesn't really want to have sex with him, but only wants his money, and typically there's no kissing or other kind of real intimacy involved.

FWB = Can vary from situation to situation, but typically a greater level of trust and you actually do things like kiss, and are actually attracted to one another and want to have sex with one another without either party being paid. 

In EITHER situation there can be respect or lack of respect. There are women who are "kept women" by men that ADORE them, and always humbly thank them - and there are hookers which are treated very badly, usually at the level closer to the street.

There are FWB where there is mutual respect because the two people really are friends, and there are FWB where the two people aren't actually friends, and in that situation, respect may be lacking. 




> Everybody's emotional need is met a little differently, the important thing is that it gets met.


I agree with this.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

fourtines said:


> Um, no.
> 
> You're pretty judgmental about sex acts I've noticed.


Or I'm FUNNY. Meh, my excellent timing is so lost on these forums. :wink:

However, I don't want to lose credibility as a judgmental bitch. That way when I'm super nice, it's totally appreciated. roud:


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> Or I'm FUNNY. Meh, my excellent timing is so lost on these forums. :wink:
> 
> However, I don't want to lose credibility as a judgmental bitch. That way when I'm super nice, it's totally appreciated. roud:


lol okay sorry I didn't read it as a joke, and took it like you were calling FWB "hooker sex"


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## Hokahey (Oct 8, 2010)

fourtines said:


> Hooker sex = man paying woman


Hooker sex = person(s) paying person(s)


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

The last time I checked they said they wouldn't want to be thanked, makes them feel like a hooker but only cheaper.

Anyway, couldn't be arsed regardless. Neither would expect anything of the sort, either. The 10 cents that message would cost me could be better invested :mellow:


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## Up and Away (Mar 5, 2011)

I'd never thank someone for sex unless they were a whore, but I'd never see a whore.

I'd thank someone for a good and intimate time together.

Edit: If I was more okay with casual sex, then of course a thank you for sex would be more than appropriate.

I think hiding a flower with a thank you note would be even better either way.

Edit 2: Of course, when people meditate together, they aren't necessarily doing it "together," so you could call it casual meditation, and you could thank someone for "being next to you while you do it."

So I suppose, casual sex is sort of "sex" without closeness, and in that case, if you can thank someone for praying or meditating next to you, then you'd have to be able to thank for sex as well.

Otherwise I guess it would seem like people shouldn't pray next to eachother.

I suppose sex is like that for some people.

So for me, just because I personally wouldn't, it is because of MY addiction with sex.

If people are not addicted to sex, and simply like it, then that changes everything to a large degree.

Just because I would personally view a situation a certain way, does not mean I would illogically think someone else views it, or has the same addictions I do.

And I suppose when it really comes down to it, there probably was a bit of intimacy in it for someone, even if it was based upon a power dynamic or fetish, "using" someone as if they were the father or daughter, for example, in a subconscious attempt to "recover" what was once lost, and live a fantasy of the past being healed. Transference to a high degree.

We thank for less things in life. It is only that sex opens us up to the vulnerability of our past and repressed relationships, that makes us very aware of the void of intimacy.

So, not thanking might be some form of protest against accepting failure to grieve.

Thanking, on the other hand, might be accepting what is necessary to move on, to eventually be able to grieve, or it might be a denial of that fact.

It is hard to tell, so I can't make an ethical judgment on someone without knowing their particular values.

That being said, I have hardly even answered the question.


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## Siren (Jun 25, 2011)

pinkrasputin said:


> .
> Ok people, don't take the "thank you" remark so concretely. How about just a thoughtful text to send to someone after sex so they don't feel like a whore or a piece of meat? Even with an FWB, you can honor them as a person this way even if you did just use their body to masturbate.
> 
> It just lets them know you are not taking them or their time for granted. I mean, there are other people your partner could choose to fuck. .


I never have never felt like a whore after sex. That would imply that i thiught what i did was wrong. I choose to have sex based on my perceptions in a relationship. Anf my guys, historically have stayed the night, so i don't need to hear from them right away. He can show me he's not taking me for granted by letting me know he wants to see me again for dinner, movie, whatever. He can also show me by remembering things I told him and my likes/dislikes.

I've had guys thank me after sex. THAT made me feel more like a whore and I've askers them not to.


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## Cetanu (Jan 20, 2012)

Why would I say "Thank you" after sex? I do all the work.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

Promethea said:


> I think theres at least an obligatory effort to contact someone after.. and not too long after, or it seems like a "booty call" (dear lord.. did i just say booty call.. lol).
> 
> It doesn't have to be a thank you per se.. but just.. something. I think a lot of people are shy about talking about the sex, but to just call and chat for a while soon after, to keep the connection going, thats appropriate. Maybe call on the way home.. or text something sweet.. or the next day for sure, no later. It lets you know it wasn't casual and meaningless.


Well yes, this makes a lot more sense. The idea of thanking someone threw me off, but getting in touch with them the way you describe is definitely a good thing to do. It could demonstrate genuine interest and, perhaps, some level of sincerity.


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## paper lilies (Dec 6, 2011)

> Emma Franklin: Congrats? For what? Having sex with you?
> Adam Kurtzman: Yeah, you did a really good job so I thought you deserved a balloon.


A quote from the film _No Strings Attached_.
If you have seen that movie, you know how awkward that scene is.
I'd feel just as awkward if someone thanked me for having sex with them.

All in all I get what the OP was trying to say... I mean, if I got a text a couple of days later that said "how are you?" or something generic that would be fine. The fact that the actual sex part is over with, at least for me, means that it doesn't have to be revisited in a conversation later.


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## twoofthree (Aug 6, 2011)

I didn't realise you were supposed to send a text or get one. . .


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## Sonny (Oct 14, 2008)

Sex _is_ the thank you.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

I wouldn't have sex with someone unless I had been in a relationship with them for some time, so I don't think I would say thank you to them. Besides, it's something for both of the adults involved, not just the man.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

skycloud86 said:


> I wouldn't have sex with someone unless I had been in a relationship with them for some time, so I don't think I would say thank you to them. Besides, it's something for both of the adults involved, not just the man.


I don't have sex outside of a relationship either.

But just out of curiosity, would you thank someone after a nice time on a date? You both enjoyed it. I receive those texts all the time and it puts those guys above the rest. I'm not sure why thanking someone for a nice time whether it includes sex or not wouldn't be appreciated? 

But then again, I'm very big on showing appreciation to others. I've been married 8 years before and showing appreciation for the little things shows you don't take the other for granted. It could be after you two have amazing shower sex "Wow, I'm still thinking about last night.." or "thank you baby for taking care of things and getting the kids off to school." , etc.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

pinkrasputin said:


> But just out of curiosity, would you thank someone after a nice time on a date? You both enjoyed it. I receive those texts all the time and it puts those guys above the rest. I'm not sure why thanking someone for a nice time whether it includes sex or not wouldn't be appreciated?


I would, yes.


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## Sonny (Oct 14, 2008)

pinkrasputin said:


> But then again, I'm very big on showing appreciation to others. I've been married 8 years before and showing appreciation for the little things shows you don't take the other for granted. It could be after you two have amazing shower sex "Wow, I'm still thinking about last night.." or "thank you baby for taking care of things and getting the kids off to school." , etc.


Sounds like words of affirmation is one of your stronger love languages, I hear what you're saying but not doing it isn't a sign of lack of interest or affection for everyone, different love languages would automatically consider different things as a sign of appreciation or affection.


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

pinkrasputin said:


> What gave you the impression in my OP that this was about casual sex?
> 
> Do I need the repost the OP? I'm pretty clear and have made allowances.


To be honest i was laughting so hard at these lines i must have missed the jest of it.

*Women, how long do you like waiting to get a "thank you" text after sex*

*Men, how long does it take you to shoot your partner a "thank you" text after sex once you've parted? *

Now according to other comments here, i'm certainly not the only one who got the impression this was something casual. Like me they probably couldn't get passed the " thank you " suggestion you made, LOL...i noted how you said after the fact in response to a posting how it shouldn't be taken so concrete, the thank you part, hum, if you really didn't mean it , you probably wouldn't have written it. Not once but twice.

And just to clear up the understanding of my post. It was less about the kind of sex and more about your expectations. If you were in some kind of committed relationship, i'm pretty sure you would have said so, as a matter of fact i'm pretty sure you would have stressed it like all your other relationships here at PerC. So unless you make yourself clear, which you didn't in my opinion, anything is possible. Anjywho, the thank you stuff took over, i literally had tears rolling down my face. Maybe we do things differently here in Canada.:tongue:

Regardless, these lines i posted from your OP will go down in history for me as the funniest i have ever read at personal Cafe LOLXz. Regardless if the sex was casual or not. LMAO.


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## twoofthree (Aug 6, 2011)

Why should a man thank a woman, or a woman expect thanks, for sex?!

That's the bit I can't get my head around.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

MuChApArAdOx said:


> To be honest i was laughting so hard at these lines i must have missed the jest of it.
> 
> *Women, how long do you like waiting to get a "thank you" text after sex*
> 
> ...


Please watch you are implying here and your assumptions are inaccurate. 

1. I don't always post threads in regards to my personal relationships. I am a teacher and I like to get people thinking.

2. "All" my relationships? That was an attack. And I have only been in one other committed relationship while on PerC. I'm in a committed relationship now. Please do not assume you know everything about me just because I sometimes post on a forum. This is in the same manner as there are many people here who know nothing about you. 



> Anjywho, the thank you stuff took over, i literally had tears rolling down my face. Maybe we do things differently here in Canada.:tongue:
> 
> Regardless, these lines i posted from your OP will go down in history for me as the funniest i have ever read at personal Cafe LOLXz.


Well, you're welcome. You are certainly an easy audience. I'm just sorry you didn't understand the depth behind what was written. 

But everyone is different. And by your laughter, I understand that it is a foreign concept to have anyone thank you after they've slept with you.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

twoofthree said:


> Why should a man thank a woman, or a woman expect thanks, for sex?!
> 
> That's the bit I can't get my head around.


Pink explained later that she wasn't just talking about a "thank you", but a more general level of reciprocation that would convey interest in ongoing communication and be a sign of respect. I paraphrase. A lot of posters were thrown off by the "thank you" part, including myself. That said, I now understand her point better.


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