# Keeping Promises and MBTI



## Aha (Mar 6, 2014)

State your mbti
Do you keep your promises?
Is it something sacred for you?
How do you feel if you didn't keep your promise?
What, in your experience, is the most/least trustworthy mbti type?


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## Aha (Mar 6, 2014)

Aha said:


> State your mbti
> Do you keep your promises?
> Is it something sacred for you?
> How do you feel if you didn't keep your promise?
> What, in your experience, is the most/least trustworthy mbti type?




ENTP
Yes, of course
Yes, my word is my law and I do not want to let down anyone
I feel like sh*t
I know that idealistic types can be very trustworthy, especially those with strong Fe. Also, Si-users are quite uncompromising in this question. Least? I know of one INTJ who almost never keep promises.


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

State your mbti *ESTP* 
Do you keep your promises? *Yes, but you'll find I very rarely make promises. Easy to keep promises if you only make them when you know you can deliver. * 
Is it something sacred for you? *Sacred? No. But your word is the most valuable asset you have in relationships (friendships, family, business etc...) and you lose considerable face if you don't follow through. * 
How do you feel if you didn't keep your promise? *I can't think of any promises that I haven't kept. But I've been told getting a promise out of me is like pulling teeth. * 
What, in your experience, is the most/least trustworthy mbti type? *Depends on what I'm entrusting them with and the relationship I have with them. *


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## StunnedFox (Dec 20, 2013)

monemi said:


> Do you keep your promises? *Yes, but you'll find I very rarely make promises. Easy to keep promises if you only make them when you know you can deliver. *


Just about sums it up for me. I don't plan on giving you my word in any situation where I might not, for any reason at all, be unable to keep it.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

•INTP
•Yes
•No
•Nothing
•can't say no experience


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## O_o (Oct 22, 2011)

State your mbti : *ENTP*
Do you keep your promises? : *No... I'm very aware of this, therefore I try not to make any. *
Is it something sacred for you? : *Nope. *
How do you feel if you didn't keep your promise? : ... *Apathy yet.. frustration with myself occasionally*
What, in your experience, is the most/least trustworthy mbti type? : *Solely from personal experience... I'm not.. even really sure. I think the most was an ISFJ former friend of mine.*


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## spookyfornever (Jun 5, 2013)

Aha said:


> State your mbti
> Do you keep your promises?
> Is it something sacred for you?
> How do you feel if you didn't keep your promise?
> What, in your experience, is the most/least trustworthy mbti type?


Honor is the one code I will never violate. 
It is beyond sacred, so if i make a promise i will maintain it, even to my last breath.


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## 90626 (Apr 17, 2014)

State your mbti- ESFJ
Do you keep your promises? Absolutely. To the best of my knowledge I have never broken one as an adult.
Is it something sacred for you? Yes, it's my word.
How do you feel if you didn't keep your promise? I would be immensely disappointed in myself and would avoid it at all costs.
What, in your experience, is the most/least trustworthy mbti type? I think this can largely depend on the individual not the mbti....but in my personal experience there have only been two relationships in which a promise was not kept...one with an intj and entp


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## B3LIAL (Dec 21, 2013)

State your mbti - INTP
Do you keep your promises? - Usually. But I usually don't make promises.
Is it something sacred for you? - No.
How do you feel if you didn't keep your promise? - Pondering if breaking the promise will lead to harm.
What, in your experience, is the most/least trustworthy mbti type? - STP's are, in my experience, the least trustworthy, but I give everyone a chance based on their individual personality.


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## Tranquility (Dec 16, 2013)

Aha said:


> State your mbti INTP
> Do you keep your promises?
> Is it something sacred for you?
> How do you feel if you didn't keep your promise?
> What, in your experience, is the most/least trustworthy mbti type?


Yes, when I remember.
No.
Horrible.
Least: ENFP Most: ENFJ


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## Quernus (Dec 8, 2011)

*State your mbti *INFP




*Do you keep your promises? *I try to.
*Is it something sacred for you? *I don't know about sacred. I'm not overly hung up on it as a point of honour (well, I'm generally just not hung up on honour)... but I definitely don't want to let people down or hurt them needlessly, or possibly wreck relationships. However, I'm also terrified of overextending myself, so I don't make many promises in the first place. I don't like being counted on, too much.
*How do you feel if you didn't keep your promise? *It depends, but generally I feel pretty embarrassed. Ashamed. Guilty. Empathetic or sympathetic, if the other person is suffering for it.
*What, in your experience, is the most/least trustworthy mbti type? *I don't know. I have not noticed a pattern. P's may end up breaking more promises out of forgetfulness or something...


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## VIIZZY (Mar 22, 2014)

State your mbti: intp
Do you keep your promises?: I'm prone to forgetting I ever made them so no. 
Is it something sacred for you?: No.
How do you feel if you didn't keep your promise?: Depends on who I made the promise to.


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## Lilsnowy (Sep 9, 2009)

Aha said:


> State your mbti ]
> Do you keep your promises?
> Is it something sacred for you?
> How do you feel if you didn't keep your promise?
> What, in your experience, is the most/least trustworthy mbti type?


*ENFP*

*Yes. *

*It's a matter of integrity.*

*Self recriminating and the rest would depend on why I was unable to keep it.*

*No idea. Untrustworthy people are found in all types.*


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## Psychopomp (Oct 3, 2012)

Aha said:


> State your mbti
> Do you keep your promises?
> Is it something sacred for you?
> How do you feel if you didn't keep your promise?
> What, in your experience, is the most/least trustworthy mbti type?


INTP

Er.... I try to... 

Uhm. Is 'it'? No. Some promises are sacred, though. 

Like shit. 

Te/Fi, I think, is most trustworthy. Fi/Te next. Sorry, Fe. You lose. Definitely. Too objective about it... which has it's own virtues. I can't decide if Fe/Ti or Ti/Fe is worse. This is a generalization of course. Any individual can oppose the generalization for one reason or another.


EDIT: Also, per @monemi, there is a certain integrity in being straightforward in your lack of built-in consistency. I am very frank about how and when I can be trusted. The ethical choice is not to enter into a situation where you can't be trusted. I strongly endeavor to do this.


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## Aelthwyn (Oct 27, 2010)

*State your mbti* INFP

*Do you keep your promises?*not always, but I also hesitate to make them because I feel like honestly doing so would require seeing the future. I also distinguish between a casual 'yeah I'll do that' and a _promise_. A promise, is a statement of intention, however something out of my control may intervene including things like my bad memory - even when i try really hard and make notes to myself and stuff like that I can still sometimes manage to forget at the critical moment that I was going to do something, so... because I know this about myself I don't like to make 'promises' to people who place a lot of importance on them. For me personally someone's _intention_ is the most important part so if they were honest about that, I'm not usually so bothered if they don't actually deliver - stuff comes up, we make mistakes, we get distracted, it's life and it's okay even if it sometimes sucks, I don't usually read it as a personal affront. However I know that some people place a lot more importance on the end result than on intentions ....and I kind of try to keep my distance from them because we clash. 

Even when I know someone probably doesn't really intend to follow through and are just making promises to placate me - because I recognize this I'm not really counting on them so... it's not really a big deal to me, it's not something I feel particularly offended over. I mean... sure I can be hurt and disappointed when people are flakes, but just not to the extent I've heard others complain about it. The importance of the promise also makes a big difference - you stand me up so I waste a couple of hours sitting around, it's really not a big deal. You say you're going to give me something and then change your mind, I'd be disappointed but unless my life depended on it and you knew that, I wouldn't think you're a horrible person. You promise to feed my pet while I'm on vacation and you don't and it dies while I'm away - now that would make me mad, I'd forgive you for forgetting but I would be pretty upset.

*Is it something sacred for you?* there are only a few contexts in which I would really see a promise as 'sacred' - but there _are indeed_ a few - marriage being one of them. 

*How do you feel if you didn't keep your promise?* an actual _promise_ I would feel terrible, but it would be feeling bad for the unhappiness you experienced more than it would be feeling like I'd betrayed myself, not that there wouldn't be some of that too, but I feel the point of focus there is a notable difference between people. 

*What, in your experience, is the most/least trustworthy mbti type?* In regards to promises I feel like in my experience both Fe and Te place a lot of value in following through with what you say you'll do. I couldn't really say one type is most reliable, especially since I'm not particularly well acquainted with someone of every type, but the ISFJs, INFJs, and ISTJs, I've known have seemed to hold keeping promises as a particular virtue. (yes I don't really know many Es). As someone else mentioned it also depends on what I'm trusting or relying on someone for - different types are better at following through with different types of things. My INFP friends are very trustworthy when it comes to being emotionally supportive, I can count on them for that, but I'm not surprised if they flake out on plans for activities.


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## Syncopy (Feb 20, 2014)

*State your MBTI:* INTJ

*Do you keep your promises?* Yes. That's why I don't make promises that I know that I can't keep. If there's any doubt at all I won't make a promise. 

*Is it something sacred for you?* Yes. My word means everything. Even if I promise something to a complete I will follow through with it.

*How do you feel if you didn't keep your promise? * Very guilty. 

*What, in your experience, is the most/least trustworthy mbti type? * I've fount that Ps are more likely to break promises/commitments.


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## Mamoru (Mar 30, 2014)

*State your mbti:* INFJ
*Do you keep your promises?* Yes
*Is it something sacred for you?* Yes
*How do you feel if you didn't keep your promise?* God-awful
*What, in your experience, is the most/least trustworthy mbti type? *Never had a bad experience with any other MBTI type


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

Aelthwyn said:


> *Do you keep your promises?*not always, but I also hesitate to make them because I feel like honestly doing so would require seeing the future. I also distinguish between a casual 'yeah I'll do that' and a _promise_. A promise, is a statement of intention, however something out of my control may intervene including things like my bad memory - even when i try really hard and make notes to myself and stuff like that I can still sometimes manage to forget at the critical moment that I was going to do something, so... because I know this about myself I don't like to make 'promises' to people who place a lot of importance on them. For me personally someone's _intention_ is the most important part so if they were honest about that, I'm not usually so bothered if they don't actually deliver - stuff comes up, we make mistakes, we get distracted, it's life and it's okay even if it sometimes sucks, I don't usually read it as a personal affront. However I know that some people place a lot more importance on the end result than on intentions ....and I kind of try to keep my distance from them because we clash.
> 
> Even when I know someone probably doesn't really intend to follow through and are just making promises to placate me - because I recognize this I'm not really counting on them so... it's not really a big deal to me, it's not something I feel particularly offended over. I mean... sure I can be hurt and disappointed when people are flakes, but just not to the extent I've heard others complain about it. The importance of the promise also makes a big difference - you stand me up so I waste a couple of hours sitting around, it's really not a big deal. You say you're going to give me something and then change your mind, I'd be disappointed but unless my life depended on it and you knew that, I wouldn't think you're a horrible person. You promise to feed my pet while I'm on vacation and you don't and it dies while I'm away - now that would make me mad, I'd forgive you for forgetting but I would be pretty upset.


Whether it's a solemn promise or a 'Yeah, I'll do it', I follow through. If I said I'm going to do it, then I'm going to do it. I show up when I say I'm going to show up. I ran the marathon I said I was going to run. I find the investors I need to bring the project to life. I do what I say I'm going to do. That's why I'm hesitant to promise anything. If I'm not sure if someone is just saying they will do it or if they will do it, I'll ask them straight out. I want peoples yes to be a yes and their no to be a no. But this is why I make money. Employers and people that have dealt with me before, know I deliver exactly what I say I'm going to deliver. I give realistic expectations and no false promises to them or their money. Same with my husband and kids. They can put their trust in me. I am dependable. If something happened to my husband, he knows I will take care of the kids and if something happened to me, I know he will take care of the kids. Neither of us is going to flake or crack under pressure. I know where my weaknesses are and don't put them under pressure where other people are depending on me to get it right. 

Standing me up would be a big deal. I'd be pissed. I would find that incredibly insulting. You'd be hard pressed to find words that would measure up to that insult. I doubt anyone could insult me the way the act of not showing up would insult me. I'd permanently write that person off. Let alone not feeding my pet after promising you would. Call me a bitch or whatever you want, I can shrug that off. But fail me and either not be friends anymore or worse you'll make an enemy of me. This is why I just don't trust many people. If they can't be trusted in action, they can't be trusted to have a deep conversation with. If I can't count on them for the little things, how can I trust they won't use my private thoughts and feelings against me later?


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## tangosthenes (Oct 29, 2011)

State your mbti: Unknown, but maybe INTP or INFJ or something




Do you keep your promises? As long as something more important didn't come up and I am physically able to




Is it something sacred for you? The right to fill air with words of your choosing




How do you feel if you didn't keep your promise? Anxious




What, in your experience, is the most/least trustworthy mbti type?
The types can all be losers at times, but the most consistent example of people that just don't care about telling the truth or having integrity would be ESTP and I think, some INTPs, and maybe ENTPs. Just going through a list of people in my head who were "free-spirited" aka irresponsible and quickly typing them. 

And I'm not very trustworthy, 1)I'm very forgetful and 2)some people are in my "use and abuse" section of relationships, some people are in my "respect" section of relationships..and if I find someone contemptible(even if I outwardly get along with them), I'm a bastard to them. Two-faced, I think it's called. So whatever type I am.


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## Aelthwyn (Oct 27, 2010)

monemi said:


> Call me a bitch or whatever you want, I can shrug that off. But fail me and either not be friends anymore or worse you'll make an enemy of me. This is why I just don't trust many people. If they can't be trusted in action, they can't be trusted to have a deep conversation with. If I can't count on them for the little things, how can I trust they won't use my private thoughts and feelings against me later?


This is very interesting to see the difference here indeed. For me it's practically the opposite - calling me names would give me a much worse opinion of someone than forgetting plans we'd made, and it would hurt more sharply. For me being trustworthy with emotions and conversations is quite a different thing from being trustworthy to carry out an action. Not that feelings aren't involved in actions and promises for me, but just not to as great an extent. To me, canceling a plan at the last minute seems totally unrelated to one's tendency to gossip or manipulate, so I could still trust a 'flake' with my feelings if they were sympathetic in conversation and discrete about telling others, though I wouldn't turn to them when I needed someone to pick me up from the airport. 

This is one thing I noticed about people before getting into personality types - that there are certain people who place a lot of significance on showing up and on sticking to what you say as a sign of respect, while others don't always see it as carrying a personal message. And that touches on another difference I've noticed between people, those who don't accept 'excuses' and those who are happy to accept them. I might be upset before someone explains why they didn't show, but I want them to tell me and I do listen to them and once they provide their reasons I usually get over it (even when they weren't great reasons, just knowing somehow helps assuage my feelings). While other people seem to regard explanations as beside the point and attempting to offer them as a sign of being irresponsible. I think can understand a system of looking at things that makes someone feel this way, but it's totally foreign to me.

In any case, while obviously not as adamant about it as you are, I definitely favor non-committal responses and dislike people pressuring me to give definite answers when I don't feel prepared to give them (which is almost never). I usually sprinkle much of what I say with non-definite words and phrases like 'probably' 'I'll try' 'likley' 'hopefully' 'might' 'we'll see' 'maybe' 'possibly' and so on, though at least with many of my friends the tentative nature of things is largely understood, so for example when my friend says 'I'm planning on coming to your tea party on saturday and I'll bring blueberry muffins' I know it means 'I'd like to come to your tea party provided I hear my alarm and don't just sleep straight through till 3pm, and my allergies aren't so bad that I'm miserable, and I haven't forgotten anything that needs to get done before sunday, and I'm not so peopled out after the work week that I need to hide in a dark cave to avoid a nervous breakdown, and whatever I was going to do before the party doesn't take longer than I anticipate, and my car doesn't get towed because there weren't any available spaces so I parked illegally and didn't move it soon enough, and I don't realize that I haven't got enough flour to bake muffins until it's too late to go to the store _and_ get them baked before the party, etc. etc. etc.' I guess I feel that the uncertain nature of the future is a given so that it should be understood that 'I'll be there' includes an unspoken qualification of 'unless something beyond my control intervenes' (such as getting in a car crash. - and I realize that most of those other previous examples of possibilities _are_ in some way under one's control, though I don't expect people to actually foresee and be on top of all the interconnected variables in life that may lead to things such as sleeping through your alarm). 

Somewhat related to this is my experience with my ISTJ mom who always feels very obligated to stick to a plan - it's a little broader than promises, but similar. On the one hand I do really appreciate the stability of essentially knowing the future is set with her once she makes a plan, but on the other hand it's troubling to me sometimes to see her make a choice, then get more information that would indicate a different choice would be better, and though it isn't 'too late' (as in already past), she sees it as too late to change her decision and goes ahead with it anyways despite already regretting it... which strikes me as not terribly wise. Sticking to what you said you'd do is commendable, but not necessarily in every case if what you said you'd do isn't actually the best thing for you to do. Now, obviously this is a different matter than simply forgetting, or changing on a whim.


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