# "Foot in the mouth" disease



## day_dreamer (Nov 8, 2010)

How many of you suffer from it? I am a chronic victim of it. When I see someone making some statement that is notionally incorrect, I just blurt out in instinct and then regret it later. :sad: 

Like today was arguing with someone who posted a newspaper link that says the birth month can influence the job indicator of the child. He accepted it blindly without reasoning just because it has been endorsed by a newspaper which claims some government body have conducted a study. I said, it is too much of a generalization as there are multiple variable factors that can influence a person's career choice apart from just a birth month. Facts can be interpreted in different lights and even the best of us can err. Anyway, it ended up bitter, and I personally blame myself for initiating it.

People end up thinking that I am trying to prove my intelligence/superiority when I am actually willing to know the truth or arguing just for the fun of it or because I just can't help control myself from correcting. 

As a result, I make a lot of enemies. I don't know when am I even going to be successful in controlling it.

So have you been in that position often? How do you handle it?


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## Inveniet (Aug 21, 2009)

You could:
State your view as "oh you belive that? no kidding?! I don't. I've heard a lot of conflicting views on stuff like that."
or
Say "that look very interesting, touches on a lot of different issues, oh look at the time, got to go do whatever"


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## day_dreamer (Nov 8, 2010)

Even if I said what you said, he would have defended it with something which he used for me as well- THEY ARE QUALIFIED TO STATE SO, WE ARE NOT. Also it would imply that I am stepping back from my stance. People like him consider it weakness, or may be I am too egotistical. 

It is I who initiated it, because I was itching to point out the problems with such studies. It's really not his fault. I guess I am a natural troll. 

But have you ended up in a soup like this and regretted it?


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## MegaTuxRacer (Sep 7, 2011)

Since I am assuming this is the internet that this happened you could just not say anything. I mean it sounds like this person isn't going to accept what your unqualified opinion is since you aren't a newspaper, so why bother trying to correct the problem?

But yeah I have been in this situation before. I have just learned who is open to debate and who isn't.


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## Inveniet (Aug 21, 2009)

day_dreamer said:


> Even if I said what you said, he would have defended it with something which he used for me as well- THEY ARE QUALIFIED TO STATE SO, WE ARE NOT. Also it would imply that I am stepping back from my stance. People like him consider it weakness, or may be I am too egotistical.
> 
> It is I who initiated it, because I was itching to point out the problems with such studies. It's really not his fault. I guess I am a natural troll.
> 
> But have you ended up in a soup like this and regretted it?


Not sure I have ended up in a soup like that.
In fact I'm not sure I grasp what you are asking for here.
I was illustrating preventive measures btw, not how to fix things after the fact.
I have no idea about how do damage control in areas like that.


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## day_dreamer (Nov 8, 2010)

I was asking you of your experience if any and how you handled it.


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## Inveniet (Aug 21, 2009)

Not any experience at all in making enemies over saying I disagree.
I hope I never have experience in that field.
Good luck with that... XD


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## SPtheGhost (Apr 26, 2010)

every perceiver i know has this problem


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## Juan M (Mar 11, 2011)

Well, i had suffer it a lot of times trought my life, certainly we are perfectionist when its about the truth yeah, but i have learnt that i will correct people when it affects me in a way and when i do it i use my "MBTIknowledge" to deal with people, i mean if there is an strong Si that trust facts i dont make a conceptual definition, i just present him a fact.

And when i try to communicate with a Se i do it trought body language, you know like the cheers, i put my arms over my head and scream hard AAAAAAAAAAAAA, BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII (because Se likes to get everything with the sense so if you scream harder he will get you more easy), or dancing, you know if you want that an Se girl understand that you wnat to have sex with her, you can just move your body (like in sex) and watch her DIRECTLY to her eyes... moaning.

Lol, but seriously you can "judge" people until certain point with MBTIknowledge but its not perfect, so its just an idea that works for me in those cases (except the Se "example" off course).


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## Chaotic_Stupid (Jun 15, 2011)

Yes, I have had this problem. 

My advice:

Just keep your mouth shut.

Most people don't give a crap about logic and reasoning

Correcting people can and will piss them off.

:crazy:

If it's REALLY bothering you, use humor. Keep in mind: If you obviously completely bombed a joke you will look pathetic.


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## Penemue (Feb 23, 2010)

Some people don't mind being corrected as long as it's done politely, but other people will bust a nut if you attempt to correct their grammar. If people don't want to listen to logic then they wont and all you'll do is exhaust yourself and your will to live trying to teach them.

I frequently put my foot in my mouth and then have to spend the next ten minutes trying to dig it out. Just apologise and say it was an accident. My family understands my mouth is in no way connected to my brain. I tried to compliment my sisters t-shirt and somehow called her ass massive.


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## day_dreamer (Nov 8, 2010)

PenemueINTJ said:


> I tried to compliment my sisters t-shirt and somehow called her ass massive.


LOL happened with so many times that now I don't even bother.


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## Penemue (Feb 23, 2010)

day_dreamer said:


> LOL happened with so many times that now I don't even bother.


Trust me, i wouldn't but it's a catch 22. Say nothing and she assumes you're agreeing that her bum_ does_ look big in that, try to disagree and accidently call her fat and you _will_ feel her fist.


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## DeductiveReasoner (Feb 25, 2011)

I've had foot in mouth disease since I could talk. Half the time I don't even realize that I've said anything offensive until someone confronts me about it.

A more comical moment had this scenario:
Me: *sees serious looking group of people decides to lighten mood* "Who died?"
Woman in group of people: "My grandmother..."

harsh, but classic nonetheless


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## TPlume (Aug 27, 2011)

day_dreamer said:


> How many of you suffer from it? I am a chronic victim of it. When I see someone making some statement that is notionally incorrect, I just blurt out in instinct and then regret it later. :sad:
> 
> Like today was arguing with someone who posted a newspaper link that says the birth month can influence the job indicator of the child. He accepted it blindly without reasoning just because it has been endorsed by a newspaper which claims some government body have conducted a study. I said, it is too much of a generalization as there are multiple variable factors that can influence a person's career choice apart from just a birth month. Facts can be interpreted in different lights and even the best of us can err. Anyway, it ended up bitter, and I personally blame myself for initiating it.
> 
> ...



I knew exactly what you were gonna talk about when I saw the title. I'm gulty of it too, enough negative experiences should fix the problem eventually 

On a more serious note, I think I've reduced it when I started to think a little bit more... ya know pause a tiny weeny bit before blurting it out.


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## absent air (Dec 7, 2010)

I would appreciate having ''foot in mouth'' people around me to correct me.

Helpful ciritisizm right?


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## day_dreamer (Nov 8, 2010)

absent air said:


> I would appreciate having ''foot in mouth'' people around me to correct me.
> 
> Helpful ciritisizm right?


I am sure even they won't realize it and think it is ok


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## The Proof (Aug 5, 2009)

I don't see the OP's problem, I do that all the time and people don't like me any less, if they do, they can go simonize themselves for all I care hah!

OP, if it does bother you, just try being less analytical when you're in a social setting, you don't really need to examine everything


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## day_dreamer (Nov 8, 2010)

The Proof said:


> I don't see the OP's problem, I do that all the time and people don't like me any less, if they do, they can go simonize themselves for all I care hah!
> 
> OP, if it does bother you, just try being less analytical when you're in a social setting, you don't really need to examine everything


I was absolutely hopeless until one ESTP took up as his job to explain me where I am doing wrong. I used to open my mouth and the smile from someone's face would vanish.  That makes me unpopular and difficult to get things done by people.


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## Bogspirit (Jun 24, 2011)

day_dreamer said:


> I was asking you of your experience if any and how you handled it.


Hi DD, I used to end up in these situations more often when I was younger, but then I drifted into a trade where I didn't have to deal with people so much, so avoidance rather than dealing with them. I will especially tend to get into arguments with people who rely on particularly annoying fallacies (such as appeal to the masses, appeal to authority or appeal to tradition) or OTOH people who are disseminating information that could cause "dumb mob behaviour" (sometimes these conflict, LOL). 

I think it comes down to "choosing people smart enough to accept that they may not be right" and this is where you picked the wrong person to argue with and probably put his back up, or caught him sticking his neck out on something he couldn't prove. but was happy enough repeating it hearsay because he trusted the source.

I know a guy who calls folk wisdom/imaginative theorizing "legend"/"useless speculation" and totally disses it. Puts my back up making ME feel like a useless airy fairy - and the first impulse I have is to let him know what a troglodyte I think he is. I try not to let this seep out and instead switch to the attitude of "what can I learn from this person". So I would have abandoned the line of thinking that has to destroy the dude (like "just because some institution emits some bullshit doesn't make it true - institutions are simply mobs operating at an exalted Establishment level; beliefs evolve over time, and so too do these institutions")

Really it's best, once you realize you are dealing with one of "these", to just back out and find something better to do. Say, "Sorry to disagree, I am sure we will both be interested to see more information come out on the subject". Then unplug.


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## luemb (Dec 21, 2010)

Sometimes I wonder if people around me who have put their foot in their mouth are aware that they are doing it or not. 
I don't normally end up with my foot in my mouth, strangely enough. Normally my mouth is closed though, so that helps. However, that leads to its own kind of social awkwardness. 

However, there was one time when I was sitting with a small group, maybe three or four engineering guys, and their conversation got around to anal sex. Normally I wouldn't care a bit, and I'm just working away on homework or whatever, but then one of the guys somehow involved me in it by implicating that I wouldn't mind it or something. Bad choice. I'm pretty sure conversation nearly froze after that. I'm not sure how anyone would be expected to get out of a situation like that, but normally an apology, or a clarification, or at least an awareness of an incorrect choice, would work wonders. 

There seems to be two guys that I know that seemed prone to this sort of thing happening, and I think they did a lot of back-pedaling at times. In general, the "keep the mouth shut" trick works, although this can be hard for an extrovert. In which case, "Keep the mouth shut until thoughts are fully processed" is a good variation of the rule. 

To get out of tricky situations, calm down, take a deep breath, apologize, and move forward again slowly. Both the people I knew tended to act before thinking, so just trying to pause a moment will make you look cool, calm and collected before trying to extricate yourself. Think ISTP


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## absentminded (Dec 3, 2010)

PenemueINTJ said:


> My family understands my mouth is in no way connected to my brain.


This sentence encapsulates my social life.


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## Drowning_Zora (Sep 15, 2011)

I don't really think I have "foot-in-mouth disease" but I have "stuck my foot in my mouth" before.

One day I was in class do a project ith some of my friends, I dunno how we got on the topic of pregnancy, but then I blurted out:
"Yeah pregnancy is for squares." 

Then I just remember I had a pregnant classmate who was glaring at me.

I don't regret what I did. The girl was a kind of a slattern anyway; not saying all pregant teens are slatterns though.


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## Kilgore Trout (Jun 25, 2010)

Hey-a, guys! So, who here likes watching zebra/giraffe gang-bangs?

No one, huh? Well... eh...

** awkwardly steps out of thread**


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## day_dreamer (Nov 8, 2010)

Kilgore Trout said:


> Hey-a, guys! So, who here likes watching zebra/giraffe gang-bangs?
> 
> No one, huh? Well... eh...
> 
> ** awkwardly steps out of thread**


Bad attempt, it didn't land your foot in mouth. :laughing:


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## Kilgore Trout (Jun 25, 2010)

I am now convinced that I have no place on the site, Facebook. I've tried to act normal but have failed every attempt. My entire experience: one insensitive sarcastic joke after another, fumbling around the comments section with strange observations, posting videos about science and philosophy which only I enjoy, shredding somebody's argument with super-serious Ti... only bad things have come from this...


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

Foot in mouth can be a painful disease

Still waiting for a cure


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## foobar (Sep 22, 2011)

Depends on combination of several factors: Do I like this person at all? How absurdly wrong are they? And probably most importantly, how bored am I?

If its a person I otherwise like and the thing they're wrong about is minor, I usually just keep my mouth shut.


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## Shane Ho (Sep 11, 2011)

Kilgore Trout said:


> I am now convinced that I have no place on the site, Facebook. I've tried to act normal but have failed every attempt. My entire experience: one insensitive sarcastic joke after another, fumbling around the comments section with strange observations, posting videos about science and philosophy which only I enjoy, shredding somebody's argument with super-serious Ti... only bad things have come from this...


I have to laugh. This describes my experience with FB to a T. I know I've touched a nerve when people respond to every post except mine.


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## day_dreamer (Nov 8, 2010)

Kilgore Trout said:


> one insensitive sarcastic joke after another, shredding somebody's argument with super-serious Ti... only bad things have come from this...


You should see my comments- people are either hurt or scared. They think I am a fascist because I argue with their stupidity all the time when I am bored.


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## dagnytaggart (Jun 6, 2010)

Two weeks ago:

"Your lovehandle's on my phone."

...yeah. My foot's still being digested.



day_dreamer said:


> How many of you suffer from it? I am a chronic victim of it. When I see someone making some statement that is notionally incorrect, I just blurt out in instinct and then regret it later. :sad:
> 
> Like today was arguing with someone who posted a newspaper link that says the birth month can influence the job indicator of the child. He accepted it blindly without reasoning just because it has been endorsed by a newspaper which claims some government body have conducted a study. I said, it is too much of a generalization as there are multiple variable factors that can influence a person's career choice apart from just a birth month. Facts can be interpreted in different lights and even the best of us can err. Anyway, it ended up bitter, and I personally blame myself for initiating it.
> 
> ...


Assuming you didn't do something NT-ish and call him an "imbecilic drone", I don't understand what you did wrong. I'm always doing that kind of thing, to me it's just discussion.


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## Chipps (Jun 1, 2011)

day_dreamer said:


> How many of you suffer from it? I am a chronic victim of it. When I see someone making some statement that is notionally incorrect, I just blurt out in instinct and then regret it later. :sad:
> 
> Like today was arguing with someone who posted a newspaper link that says the birth month can influence the job indicator of the child. He accepted it blindly without reasoning just because it has been endorsed by a newspaper which claims some government body have conducted a study. I said, it is too much of a generalization as there are multiple variable factors that can influence a person's career choice apart from just a birth month. Facts can be interpreted in different lights and even the best of us can err. Anyway, it ended up bitter, and I personally blame myself for initiating it.
> 
> ...


Whoa. STOP RIGHT THERE!

When did having an opinion become a disease? 

I say and do much worse and I don't bat a lash over it. I think its because I have made peace with how I am and life is really too short to not say it. I always like to say "I can't help it", but I obviously can its just that I don't want to help it. Honestly what will you gain by not saying it? I feel like I lose who I am by keeping my mouth shut just so I don't "upset" the peanut gallery. 

I spent the majority of the first 18 years of my life saying nothing and keeping my head low just to avoid a problem. Let me tell you I was nothing but miserable. It makes me happy to be honest. Regardless of what it is. I dont like social politics, I don't care to be politically correct, and I lack tact. Ive made peace with it. People are always talking about how short life is, so fuck it. Say what you want. At the end of the day its just an opinion and like assholes we all have one right?

I also think its funny that people thought you were trying to show how smart you were. Isnt that laughable? Excuse the fuck out of you for daring to use that squishy thing in between your ears. What is it there for anyway right? 

My advice: Don't worry about it. The only person you can be true to is yourself. Do what makes you happy. Your opinions can't hurt anyone and you are entitled to them. Some people don't get that. They aren't smart enough to grasp the concept. If someone is upset by your intellect then its their problem. I know what it feel like to "think" about things instantly and constantly be surround by people who don't. Guess its a hard knock life. 


p.s.

Why did you blame yourself? You did nothing wrong. It was them. Not you. I hate when people try to gang up on someone for being confident enough to question what lies in front of them. Nothing is above being questioned. No one is above being questioned either.


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