# Enneagram Theorizing & The Three Types of Self-Centeredness



## Mereallysmart (Jun 7, 2011)

I've developed somewhat of an interest in the 3 aspects of self-centeredness, and I've found that they seem to connect to the Enneagram. Here are the three aspects:

*PRIDE
COMMON MANIFESTATIONS OF PRIDE:*


too high an opinion of myself
annoyance with those who contradict me, brooking no contradictions
anger if I don’t get my way or am not taken into account
easily judgmental, putting others down, gossiping about them
slow to recognize my own mistakes, or to see when I hurt others, and inability to seek and give forgiveness
rage when others don’t thank me for favors
unwillingness to serve, rebellion against what I don’t like
impatience, distance, brusqueness in my daily contact with others
thinking I am the only one who knows how to do things right, unwillingness to let others help
inflated idea of my own intelligence and understanding, dismissing what I do not understand or what others see differently
nursing grudges, even in small matters
never taking orders
inflexible in preferences
always putting myself and my things first, indifference towards others and their needs, never putting myself out for them
centering everything (conversation, choices..) on myself and my likes
calculating in my relations with others

*VANITY
**COMMON MANIFESTATIONS OF VANITY:
*

always seeking admiration and praise, worrying about not getting it
excessive concern about physical appearance
being guided by the opinions of others rather than principle (this is sometimes called “human respect”)
some types of shyness
sacrificing principles in order to fit in
placing too much a premium on popularity and acceptance
easily discouraged at my failures
taking pleasure in listening to gossip and hearing about others’ failures
always wanting to be the center of attention, at times stretching the truth, or lying outright, or being uncharitable in my words in order to achieve this
*


SENSUALITY*
*COMMON MANIFESTATIONS OF SENSUALITY* 


laziness
always the most comfortable, what requires least effort
not going the extra mile for others
procrastination, last-minute in everything
shoddiness, complaining, excessively affected by minor discomforts
inability to sacrifice
not doing my part at home
expecting everyone else to serve me always
behavior and decisions ruled by my feelings and moods instead of my principles
daydreaming a lot with self at center
unable to control my thoughts when they attract me, even if they are not good
doing only what I enjoy (choice of food, work, etc)
uncontrolled and overpowering curiosity, wanting to see and experience everything and every pleasure
my senses and impulses overrule what I know is right and wrong
acting out my feelings (frustrations, desires…) with no regard for my conscience, God or others
only working with those I like, being easily hurt
fickleness and inconstancy
can never finish what I start







*Enneagram Type** Most Likely Weaknesses (most likely listed first)*TwoVanity, PrideThreePride, VanityFour Vanity, SensualityFiveSensuality, PrideSixVanity, SensualitySevenSensuality, PrideEightPride, SensualityNineSensuality, VanityOnePride, Vanity
 *




I've noticed somewhat of a pattern here. It's not a perfect pattern, but it is almost consistent throughout. Each type shares at least one common weakness with each type in its triad. Plus, each weakness has six types that are likely to have it. I realize this theory is not perfect, so I posted it hoping all of you could help me figure this out. Please feel free to share any comments or opinions or criticism!

*


----------



## RepairmanMan Man (Jan 21, 2012)

I've never heard of the 3 aspects of self-centeredness before. I can certainly attest that my biggest weakness lies under Sensuality, followed at a distance by Pride. Except for a couple of statements, Vanity was more a matter of WTF?

With the little chart you made, though, it seems like the key weaknesses of 2 and 3 should be reversed. Just a thought.


----------



## Mereallysmart (Jun 7, 2011)

holyrockthrower said:


> I've never heard of the 3 aspects of self-centeredness before. I can certainly attest that my biggest weakness lies under Sensuality, followed at a distance by Pride. Except for a couple of statements, Vanity was more a matter of WTF?
> 
> With the little chart you made, though, it seems like the key weaknesses of 2 and 3 should be reversed. Just a thought.


Great! I'm really glad the chart described you well! 

That's an an interesting thought about type 2 and 3. I've always debated on whether or not 3's were more likely to be dominant vanity rather than pride. I'm hoping I can get some more feedback so I can see what most opinions agree on! But I will definitely consider your suggestions when I'm ready to make revisions.


----------



## Dark Romantic (Dec 27, 2011)

Yes, I've got both pride and sensuality in spades. Not sure about vanity (at least, not under this definition).


----------



## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

I think this applies to levels of unhealthiness, but I suppose that's what you mean by "weakness". But yes, when I'm unhealthy, I do display both vanity & sensuality. Works for me - except for a few things:

*- Always wanting to be the center of attention, at times stretching the truth, or lying outright, or being uncharitable in my words in order to achieve this.
- Excessive concern about physical appearance.
- Being guided by the opinions of others rather than principle (this is sometimes called “human respect”).*

This is more 4w3 than 4w5. So I suppose wings must be taken into consideration in this. I think it's a little too simple, but still generally, it works, at least for me


----------



## aconite (Mar 26, 2012)

Yep, pride and sensuality seems right. I think I'm pretty vain, but I don't fulfill most of those vanity criteria.


----------



## RepairmanMan Man (Jan 21, 2012)

Mereallysmart said:


> Great! I'm really glad the chart described you well!
> 
> That's an an interesting thought about type 2 and 3. I've always debated on whether or not 3's were more likely to be dominant vanity rather than pride. I'm hoping I can get some more feedback so I can see what most opinions agree on! But I will definitely consider your suggestions when I'm ready to make revisions.


Well, according to Enneagram theory, Pride is the vice of 2s, and a lot of what's listed under that seems to correlate--being unable to ask for help, rage at not being repaid for favors, etc. And 3s tend to see their worth according to outward measures of success, many expressions of which are seen under Vanity.

There aren't that many 2s or 3s on the forum ( @Boss and @_Jawz_ and @_paper lilies_ are 3s. I dunno any 2s). You may wish to ask specifically for feedback in the 2 and 3 forums. I'd be interested in seeing whether or not they corroborate.


----------



## SilentScream (Mar 31, 2011)

holyrockthrower said:


> There aren't that many 2s or 3s on the forum ( @Boss and @_Jawz_ and @_paper lilies_ are 3s. I dunno any 2s). You may wish to ask specifically for feedback in the 2 and 3 forums. I'd be interested in seeing whether or not they corroborate.


As far as I'm concerned, my vanity is more readily seen by others than it is seen by myself - and that in itself is a very strong clue that I'm a 3. It's just there and it's there with regards to my achievements, my accomplishments, my intelligence, my family .. heck even my hair. There's very little I don't feel somewhat vain about. The thing is that as a 3, I know what it takes to achieve something - to get to the top time and time again and therefore that feeds the vanity. 

It takes a very self-aware 3 to become conscious of their arrogance and vanity - and even then, they can go 1 of 2 ways --- either they will project a more humble persona, or they will learn to accept their arrogance and gladly project that. IMO, both versions are just as healthy because in both cases the 3 has something very real to feel arrogant about. Very rarely do 3's feel arrogant when they have not yet achieved something in life. 

Personally, people have been calling me arrogant since I was as young as 12 --- but I never really cared. There was a time when I would feel hurt and turn around and say that "I'm not arrogant." -- but the label stuck and slowly, I stopped giving a damn. I realized that I'm perceived as arrogant by those who totally envy my success [and can't achieve it themselves] and that I have very, very real reasons to be arrogant as I have persistently worked damned hard to achieve that level.

No success in this world comes on a silver platter. You have to work extremely hard to get to the top --- and work even harder to sustain it. 

As far as pride is concerned. I take pride in certain things of course [kinda like a 2]. I feel proud of my parents more than anything else because I admire them as individuals. They are both well-balanced, and highly successful individuals, so I look up to them and admire them. However, yeah -- arrogance lies at my very core --- but I've achieved a lot to be arrogant about. But at the same time, I also continue to feel a little flawed .. imperfect ... [kinda like a 4] but there is a desire to achieve some level of true perfection by overcoming the imperfections [in my image] because that would be the ideal place to be and perceived by others. In the end, that's why I believe that I'm mostly a balanced 3 with a slight deviation towards the 4, but strong 2-ish tendencies as well.

Edit: Also, most 3's [especially 3w4's] want to excel in their own minds. So there's this constant inner chatter going on. Pep talks. Self-appreciation. Self-validation. "Booyah! I did this .. yess .. I'm the greatest!". Things like fist pumping in front of a mirror rather than in a group of people is much more common for 3w4's. It's more silent self-praise than actual seeking of praise from others.


----------



## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

I will highlight parts that apply. Not all of the vanity criteria, you've provided, applies to me, however. 



Mereallysmart said:


> I've developed somewhat of an interest in the 3 aspects of self-centeredness, and I've found that they seem to connect to the Enneagram. Here are the three aspects:
> 
> *PRIDE
> COMMON MANIFESTATIONS OF PRIDE:*
> ...


I relate heavily to the Pride section. I don't relate to the parts of the Vanity portion that I didn't bold. 
- i am not shy
- i am not overly concerned with physical appearance.
- i don't care for acceptance/social approval. but, i do like to hog the limelight. I CAN'T stand the thought of sharing the spotlight with anyone. I am very territorial about making sure that no one else grabs an ounce of attention that I have my eyes on. 
- i sacrifice principles to get ahead, not to fit in. i've always known that i stood apart from people. 

I would add that 3s can get discouraged by significant failures, but they don't beat themselves up over minor ones. It's a pretty optimistic type. That said, anyone whose fixation revolves around vanity will not have an easy time with failure (and being perceived as a failure).

Overall, this is excellent. Some of the vanity stuff is more geared towards 3w2s (they're more other-oriented than w4s).


----------



## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

@Mereallysmart

my scores: 
Pride: 9/16 (56.2%)
Vanity: 2/9 (22.2%)
Sensuality: 11/18 (61.1%)

Sensuality>Pride>Vanity
the bold parts are not bad things

PS: a lot of the traits I didn't think were bad at all
- "trouble taking orders" duh, I'm an aspiring entrepreneur, nothing wrong with that lol
- "unwillingness to serve" service is for the weak and the financially stable, it should be the last thing on the mind of any young person who doesn't have their own life in order. 
- "daydreaming with a lot of self at center" um...how is this bad?
- "inflexible preferences" that's called be a hard bargainer. hard bargainers usually win, so this is a good trait, not a bad one
- "not going the extra mile for others" personally I think it's dumb to go the extra mile to help others when you do just as much good helping another person/group _without_ having to go the extra mile. the point of helping people is because you feel like it, so why go out of the way when you could help someone else at your convenience?


----------



## Tyche (May 12, 2011)

I will bold what I relate to, both currently and in the past. I am a 2w3. 



Mereallysmart said:


> I've developed somewhat of an interest in the 3 aspects of self-centeredness, and I've found that they seem to connect to the Enneagram. Here are the three aspects:
> 
> *PRIDE
> COMMON MANIFESTATIONS OF PRIDE:*
> ...


----------



## Mereallysmart (Jun 7, 2011)

Sometimes I wonder if my sensuality is stronger than my vanity- I care a lot about my physical appearance, but a lot of times I don't have the energy to wash my hair, put on makeup, shave my legs, etc. However, even when I'm alone at home and I'm looking 
extremely unattractive that day, it puts me in an EXTREMELY cranky mood.



Boss said:


> I will highlight parts that apply. Not all of the vanity criteria, you've provided, applies to me, however.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## madhatter (May 30, 2010)

I relate heavily to both Pride and Sensuality (and not at all to vanity), so you might be on the right track here. 



Mereallysmart said:


> *PRIDE
> COMMON MANIFESTATIONS OF PRIDE:*
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## Mereallysmart (Jun 7, 2011)

LOL I wish I could think like this. But you are _such _an Eight, LOL xD



Swordsman of Mana said:


> @_Mereallysmart_
> 
> my scores:
> Pride: 9/16 (56.2%)
> ...


----------



## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

Mereallysmart said:


> LOL I wish I could think like this. But you are _such _an Eight, LOL xD


actually, I'm a 7 :wink:


----------



## stephiphi (Mar 30, 2012)

Here's mine with some questions in blue. I'm a 2w1.



Mereallysmart said:


> *PRIDE
> COMMON MANIFESTATIONS OF PRIDE:*
> 
> 
> ...


Also, @Swordsman of Mana an ISFJ 7 or 8? A rare combination.


----------



## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

stephiphi said:


> Here's mine with some questions in blue. I'm a 2w1.
> Also, @Swordsman of Mana an ISFJ 7 or 8? A rare combination.


LOL I'm an ENFP 7 I'm trolling :laughing:


----------



## stephiphi (Mar 30, 2012)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> LOL I'm an ENFP 7 I'm trolling :laughing:


That makes more sense. I didn't recall you ever being in the ISFJ forum and... yeup.


----------



## Lotan (Aug 10, 2012)

Overall, Pride and Vanity do describe me the most. I exhibit a lot of the behaviors listed under Sensuality when I'm stressed out - makes sense as 3 disintegrates to 9. Both of those Pride and Vanity descriptions are ones I relate to well, although the bits about social acceptance and sacrificing principles to fit in under Vanity do not describe me at all. I do sacrifice principles, but more often than not it's to stand out, not fit in. Bringing up something else that Boss mentioned:



Boss said:


> *placing too much a premium on popularity* [being unpopular is fine too any publicity is good publicity


I agree 100%. I would much rather be unpopular than blend in. Obviously, being admired is the best possible option, but I'd rather stand out in a negative way than not stand out at all. To me, failure to stand out is worse than failure to be liked. I'd be curious to see how a 3w2 felt about that, though, as the 'always be an individual' mentality seems quite 4-ish.


----------



## Krelian91 (May 2, 2012)

mereallysmart said:


> *pride
> common manifestations of pride:*
> 
> 
> ...


Looking at the total question/answers ratio it goes: Pride>Vanity>Sensuality. Vanity used to be much higher once, when I was more unhealthy.


----------

