# Do NTs tend to have a be insulted by these things of is it just me?



## Tea Path (Sep 5, 2012)

Yes to both. I also get pissed as hell when someone interrrupts me or thinks they know what I'm going to say. Usually, I only receive these reactions once due to what happens next.


----------



## Off The Hitch (Nov 9, 2012)

Being interrupted is very frustrating. However what really ticks me off is being told to do something more than once, which you mentioned in your OP. Personally I prefer not being told to do anything as I want to figure absolutely everything out on my own with no input from others but, unfortunately for me, that just isn't going to work.


----------



## EllieBear (Nov 8, 2012)

I dislike it when I get told to calm down when I'm being passionate about something. That really, really frustrates me. Especially in debates and arguments; surely you're supposed to be passionate...?

I also hate people saying I am wrong when I'm not. Or people making a big deal out of "that one time when you were wrong..." I don't like that. 

To me it's insulting to suggest I'm wrong when I've done a lot of research and the accuser has done none. I also find it rude to drag up the past; what's done is done, lets just move forwards. 

Being reminded to do things over and over again... sometimes I need a reminder, but often I will do it. Just not right this second.


----------



## Vexilla Regis (May 4, 2011)

DiamondDays said:


> 1) No, people should tell me to shut up more, not less. I talk too much and more than half i say is idiotic.
> 2) I've got no problem being told what to do repeatedly. Sometimes it's the only thing that works. What i do have problem with is people who presume to tell me what to think, as opposed to what to do. If ****ing hate being told what to think with a hot passion.


I'm right there with you. I HATE being told what to think or how to feel and love to pass out cups of shut the f up.


----------



## Vexilla Regis (May 4, 2011)

I'm very laid back, though I am annoyed by some things like people eathing with their mouth open ( I can just get up and leave the room, so no problem,) my blood boils like crazy when others insult my intelligence. Though, not that much, because I tend to consider the source. Personally, I believe all of us tend to be ignorant about something or there would be nothing new to learn, though some tend to take it to high places. /facepalm or *beat my head into the wall*


----------



## Cosmicsense (Dec 7, 2011)

I have both. People tell me to "calm down" pretty frequently actually. I simply get "charged up" by feeling the ability to bring out some of my thoughts to someone who seems to be interested in a complex topic. I seem to speak so quickly, that it may actually be I'm more ENFPish in this regard, than pure NTish. I honestly have no clue what my type is, LOL!


----------



## st0831 (Jul 13, 2010)

1. I do not mind, after all it creates the right atmosphere for more heated arguments. I like to get my point across, asked or not asked.

2. I am guilty of it myself. But when other people tell me to do things at once, I usually do them. If they have to remind me, I believe I have let them down. I also expect the same in return. So if that person is delaying what I need done, I confront them or do it myself while blacklisting them until they prove otherwise.


----------



## AJ2011 (Jun 2, 2011)

1. Asking people to calm down when they're emotionally charged to argue is the biggest troll (it's so awesome). I end up laughing usually, even if I am trying to make a passionate argument for one side. Besides, people need to make cogent arguments without so much emotional buildup; if not, there's all sorts of ways the situation could be manipulated.

2. People repeatedly asking me to do something is annoying. Deal with them by setting a schedule and tell them to stick to it. Reverse the command roles.


----------



## gammagon (Aug 8, 2012)

perennialurker said:


> Yeah, actually I have a big problem with people telling me to calm down, which is strange because I am an INTJ and always feel like the calmest person in the room. Unfortunately I have been told on many occasions that I come across as quite intimidating. Combine this with some topic I am passionate about and coworkers often freak out and start telling me to calm down, which is annoying to say the least because I am not angry (at least I wasn't before I was told to calm down!) because I am just really excited about some idea. "Don't they all see it!?? It's so obvious!"


Same! Except I'm an intp. I hate being told to calm down because I'm usually am calm, when I'm not it's usually someone intentionally trying to piss me off.

When I'm told to do something more than once it's usually because I forgot to do it even though said I would.


----------



## The Nightwalker (Oct 24, 2012)

Both yes, but isn't that just a human thing?


----------



## puppies454 (Nov 14, 2012)

Not insulted, just a little annoyed.. I don't get mad at stupid people or people who don't understand me. I tend to laugh it off or be like "alright" because it's their problem/their opinion. they might have their internal reasons or maybe they feel like crap inside themselves. so I like to be more logical about it. But I totally understand what you mean... ugh lol.


----------



## lilysocks (Nov 7, 2012)

CaryGrant said:


> I can take just about anything from anybody and it slides right off, there are really only two things that really hurt my feelings and makes me want to punch people... so basically the two things are:
> 1) when people tell me to shut up or calm down right as a start talking (usually when I am in the mood for artificially heated intellectual debate..)
> 2) when people feel the need to repeatedly tell me to do something (If I said yes the first time, why do need to say it again? you are basically saying that I could not possibly remember what you said


Yes to both. 

1. I'm unnaturally good with words (apparently) and tend to express myself with a lot of precision,. For some reason this causes a lot of people to imagine I actually care, when all I'm doing is being clear. Having emotions attributed to me that I don't feel, and then being _condescended_ to for having these feelings that I don't feel, can send me mental if I don't keep a grip. I don't think any human likes being caught in a mindfuck.

2. Not just being told to do things, but any repetition of information I've already absorbed. I find most people do say things three or four times, and I know what upsets me about it. It's not that I feel insulted by some assumption I was too dumb to get it the first time. I realise it's just the way most people's minds work and nothing personal is intended. But it's the mindfuck again. When someone speaks there's an implicit assumption that you're going to do something with/about whatever they said. But if I've already given them all the response that feels logical to me, repetitions make my brain get all sweaty and cornered-feeling. It just can't figure out what _else_ the person is wanting from me. I try to short-circuit this early, before I'm so wound up that they get to use Mindfuck 1 on me too: 'Just calm down.' Saying things like 'I've already understood that' or 'yes, I heard you say that' in a certain tone seems to jam the brakes on. If I'm getting near the edge of pissed off I like to say 'Please stop telling me that' in the same tone. I think I tend towards a borderline-insulting tone that stops juuuuuust short of suggesting I'm having to say this to them - in this tone - because they're too stupid to work it out for themselves or too imperceptive to pick it up from more 'normal' discourse. Which they are. Which is why I very very rarely feel any guilt or regret for flirting with rudeness to them. 

And in really really extreme cases where I _am_ getting kind of wound up, I discovered that just telling the truth stops them dead. 'I heard you. I just don't understand what you want me to do about it.' Somehow that seems to bring most people to a realisation of what their own mouths are up to, and they shut up.


----------



## cristaunt (Oct 21, 2012)

1) I'm not into debate unless both parties are willing. So, I calm down rather quickly when I get the verbal cue.
2)Yes. Yes. Stop dissecting me.


----------



## AvocatInTraining (Nov 18, 2012)

CaryGrant said:


> I can take just about anything from anybody and it slides right off, there are really only two things that really hurt my feelings and makes me want to punch people... so basically the two things are:
> 1) when people tell me to shut up or calm down right as a start talking (usually when I am in the mood for artificially heated intellectual debate..)
> 2) when people feel the need to repeatedly tell me to do something (If I said yes the first time, why do need to say it again? you are basically saying that I could not possibly remember what you said)
> 
> I am ENTP and I don't know if other NTs are bothered by this, is this fairly common? or is it just me? because I think I am the only person at my school that has a problem with this, there are so many XSFX that I feel like shooting myself sometimes... (not really, maybe shoot other people, I mean the world would be a worse place if I were gone)


Omg it's like you read my mind, those things are especially the ones that get under my skin, or isf someone tells me they don't care about my opinion when I open my mouth, like grrrr


----------



## toffee (Nov 26, 2012)

Yes to both. 

I'd like to add that one thing that will REALLY insult me is passive aggressiveness. I can handle confrontation and I can handle constructive criticism but if someone makes a negative comment of me or something I told them in a roundabout way, I will get VERY annoyed. I'm ready to discuss things and make improvements but I can't stand someone who is sneaky about it.


----------



## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

CaryGrant said:


> I can take just about anything from anybody and it slides right off, there are really only two things that really hurt my feelings and makes me want to punch people... so basically the two things are:
> 1) when people tell me to shut up or calm down right as a start talking (usually when I am in the mood for artificially heated intellectual debate..)
> 2) when people feel the need to repeatedly tell me to do something (If I said yes the first time, why do need to say it again? you are basically saying that I could not possibly remember what you said)
> 
> I am ENTP and I don't know if other NTs are bothered by this, is this fairly common? or is it just me? because I think I am the only person at my school that has a problem with this, there are so many XSFX that I feel like shooting myself sometimes... (not really, maybe shoot other people, I mean the world would be a worse place if I were gone)


I'm pretty hard to insult. Most people who know me nudge me if I'm getting a bit too wound up. Sometimes I do need reminders to do things. I get sidetracked easily.


----------



## Little Light (Dec 2, 2012)

1) I'm never really been told to calm down or shut up on a regular basis, but when it does happen I normally ignore it - though it is annoying to me, personally. If I'm trying to talk it means I'm trying to make a point, telling me to shut up just makes me think the other party doesn't want to discuss the topic further; in my head this because a. They already see my side or b. They don't want to be convinced otherwise, in which they know I'm right.

I try not to get into conversations with those types of people. 

2) I really dislike that, it's extremely frustrating for people to repeat themselves if I've already responded. I've acknowledged it, I agreed . . . it'll get done!


----------



## Kizuna (Jul 30, 2011)

1) Yes, it's one of the few things that can and do really hurt me. I'm used to it by now, as my parents and a sister (2 feelers and an arrogant thinker in all) tend to shut me up after a sentence or even a few words, simply because they hate reason and logic.Some friends that I really love(d) used to do that as well, although they knew I was calm and dead silent 99,5% of the time and only opened up to them. I can imagine that, if you're not in the mood or worried about something personal, it can be tiring to listen to someone talking about stuff you may find irrelevant. But it still is extremely disrespectful and traumatizing when the few times I actually do open up, my ideas are entirely dismissed as trash. One of the reasons I prefer not to speak at all 
2) This one is annoying as hell, you're so right :mellow: Especially if you were planning on doing the task shortly anyway.


----------



## Koyan (Dec 4, 2012)

I don't get told to calm down, but being told to do something multiple times after already agreeing to do it has pissed me off to points where I completely shut down and leave the area... After doing it, of course...


----------



## heyimawkward (Jul 6, 2012)

I'm not usually insulted by being told to calm down (thought I can be), but I too tend to get irrationally upset when people feel the need to constantly repeat instructions to me.


----------



## Epicness1000 (Nov 11, 2015)

1) Not too bothered by this, but it is a bit of a nuisance.
2) A bit annoying, but once again, doesn't really affect me.
Although, someone can really piss me off if they say I am stupid, and I rarely ever get pissed off.


----------



## sinaasappel (Jul 22, 2015)

I have a prob with both


Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk


----------



## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

No, I hate it more when someone tells me (well, suggests, usually) that I'm not ___ enough (excited, happy, etc.) Why do I have to put on fake emotional expressions to appease someone else? So selfish. Fuck you. lol. 

I've struggled with anxiety for a large part of my life so I'm kinda used to the "calm down" thing, it's a cliche for people with anxiety "if I knew how to calm down I wouldn't have this problem!!" 

However I get really pissed off at hypocrisy and people who are blind to their own double standards. Like if someone who tends to overreact a lot tells me to calm down the one time something is actually *important*...yeah, that pisses me off.


----------



## SouDesuNyan (Sep 8, 2015)

I have negative feelings toward people who tell me to calm down because of my big ego. It feels like they are trying to control me, and my ego just wouldn't allow it. I would think negatively about them to justify that I am right. Thoughts such as "I am the logical one, and they are illogical" or "How dare they act so rude to me" would surface, and generate more resentment. Because they told me to calm down, and I am bothered by it, they actually have control over me. But, my mind would try hard to deny this.


----------



## huhh (Apr 15, 2015)

I agree with both, annoying.

however I get filled with murderous rage when rationality does not work in interpersonal communication or when you are dealing with something created by mankind, let it be a system or a certain object (objects rarely make me furious though but in theory it could). 

"angry about having to get angry"


----------



## ENTPness (Apr 18, 2015)

I hate it when people don't get I'm joking or think I'm getting worked up when really I'm just into an argument but am totally calm inside.


----------



## Xerosis (Dec 5, 2015)

1. I can't relate to this because I never get heated during conversations. People have actually gotten very mad at me for being too calm during arguments because they think I'm doing it on purpose to make them more angry or mock them (which makes no sense). 

2. This is sort of annoying, but I do constantly forget to do stuff so I understand why they do it.


----------



## Sapphire Sage (Jun 11, 2015)

I'm not an NT, but if anyone's curious.
1. I'm usually aware of my environment and I don't speak more than I need to. But I do meet the occasional interesting person and get carried away in conversation, but will stop talking when I know where I am.

2. It's annoying, but not as annoying as when people tell me what "should" be done without offering me an explanation as to why. (Tradition, etc)


----------



## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

CaryGrant said:


> I can take just about anything from anybody and it slides right off, there are really only two things that really hurt my feelings and makes me want to punch people... so basically the two things are:
> 1) when people tell me to shut up or calm down right as a start talking (usually when I am in the mood for artificially heated intellectual debate..)
> 2) when people feel the need to repeatedly tell me to do something (If I said yes the first time, why do need to say it again? you are basically saying that I could not possibly remember what you said)
> 
> I am ENTP and I don't know if other NTs are bothered by this, is this fairly common? or is it just me? because I think I am the only person at my school that has a problem with this, there are so many XSFX that I feel like shooting myself sometimes... (not really, maybe shoot other people, I mean the world would be a worse place if I were gone)


Calm down. It's you. You'll figure it out.


----------



## AshtangiBear (Dec 27, 2014)

Meh, whatever. Doesn't bother me.
Does annoy me after a while, I'll prioritise it myself and it will get done. If I do not remember the task, I'll ask. Just do not nagg.


----------



## FullForce (Oct 31, 2015)

Both of those annoy me, especially the second one.


----------



## Clyme (Jul 17, 2014)

CaryGrant said:


> I can take just about anything from anybody and it slides right off, there are really only two things that really hurt my feelings and makes me want to punch people... so basically the two things are:
> 1) when people tell me to shut up or calm down right as a start talking (usually when I am in the mood for artificially heated intellectual debate..)
> 2) when people feel the need to repeatedly tell me to do something (If I said yes the first time, why do need to say it again? you are basically saying that I could not possibly remember what you said)
> 
> I am ENTP and I don't know if other NTs are bothered by this, is this fairly common? or is it just me? because I think I am the only person at my school that has a problem with this, there are so many XSFX that I feel like shooting myself sometimes... (not really, maybe shoot other people, I mean the world would be a worse place if I were gone)


I'm not bothered by those things, personally. The only thing that tends to annoy me is when people don't communicate things with me. If they feel a certain way but won't tell me, or if they have a grievance with me but won't discuss it, I tend to feel lightly annoyed. That's about the only thing that gets under my skin though.


----------



## WeirderThanYou (Oct 16, 2015)

1. YES! HELL YES! I think it's mainly an ENTx thing though.
2. My mom does this and I resent her for it. I think that's an SJ thing.


----------



## Endologic (Feb 14, 2015)

1. I don't feel insulted by #1, I just get a little frustrated and lose respect of the person talking so condescendingly towards me.

2. I don't care about this one, actually. I have a bad short term memory, and when I tell someone the same thing twice, I just want to be sure they didn't forget it like I would. It's empathy if anything.
I also ask people the same questions twice in case their opinion changed, because mine does frequently.


----------



## Mee Liesel (Sep 16, 2015)

CaryGrant said:


> I can take just about anything from anybody and it slides right off, there are really only two things that really hurt my feelings and makes me want to punch people... so basically the two things are:
> 1) when people tell me to shut up or calm down right as a start talking (usually when I am in the mood for artificially heated intellectual debate..)
> 2) when people feel the need to repeatedly tell me to do something (If I said yes the first time, why do need to say it again? you are basically saying that I could not possibly remember what you said)
> 
> I am ENTP and I don't know if other NTs are bothered by this, is this fairly common? or is it just me? because I think I am the only person at my school that has a problem with this, there are so many XSFX that I feel like shooting myself sometimes... (not really, maybe shoot other people, I mean the world would be a worse place if I were gone)


i could get annoyed with that...but i dont really want to punch ppl just bcuz of that


----------



## Alpha_Orionis (Jan 18, 2015)

1. Nobody ever tells me to calm down.
2. I do mind when someone is repetitive in any manner.


----------



## shazam (Oct 18, 2015)

1. I've been told to calm down a few times. When I get excited and talk it sounds like I'm angry lol. 
2. Yes that does annoy me quite a bit I must say.


----------



## shazam (Oct 18, 2015)

Double.


----------



## aphinion (Apr 30, 2013)

1) I'm not a fan of this. I really value a lot of the intellectual discussions I have, and it bothers me whenever people just assume that I need to talk at someone. I'm not just talking to hear myself talk, I actually care about what I'm saying and what other people are saying whenever we have debates/discussions. Also having someone tell me to calm down just doesn't really work. 

2) I sort of mind when people are repetitive to me, unless I've forgotten. Then its helpful. 


Maybe this falls into the second category, but one thing that really bothers me is when people constantly check my capabilities on something. Like I'll be in class and my group-mates will have to keep checking that I know how to solve a problem when I have _shown them_ that I know about a _million times_. Or when I was a nanny, and the parents would ask if I could handle (insert random task) like I hadn't been doing it _alone_ successfully for _months _already. Literally any circumstance where someone feels the need to check and recheck my abilities seriously pisses me off.


----------



## Mikasa (Jun 15, 2013)

I'm known as the "calm patient" one, so I rarely get told to calm down.

I don't mind if people are repetitive towards me, but if I happen to be in a more impatient mood, it's _me _that hates to repeat _myself_.

The thing that annoys me most is when my intentions or words get misconstrued.


----------



## Annzihana (Jan 29, 2016)

When people call me any adaptation of babe.(or it's more like it grinds my gears)
When people only compliment me for my appearance.


----------

