# Found my underwear in my dad's room... :(



## Monsieur Melancholy (Nov 16, 2012)

justjessie said:


> Posts like yours were all I was expecting unfortunately. What Id really like to know or read is an innocent perspective for why a parent might keep a child's underwear...is there any? And don't just fuck with me... I need the truth here


In all seriousness, I don't know what to tell you. This may be something that's a bit heavy for an Internet discussion forum with complete strangers. If I were in your position, I'd speak to a counselor of some kind about it and then go from there. Depending on whether or not you think it's an appropriate or safe idea, you could confront him about it. Whether or not he'll be truthful, however, is another story entirely. As long as your personal safety is ensured, don't jump to conclusions too early.


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

JungleDisco said:


> In all honesty, he's probably wanked in it and spoilt it with his seed. It's a man thing, some of them get off on that. I don't think you can blame him for his fantasies


Holy fuck you made me cry!


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

Monsieur Melancholy said:


> In all seriousness, I don't know what to tell you. This may be something that's a bit heavy for an Internet discussion forum with complete strangers. If I were in your position, I'd speak to a counselor of some kind about it and then go from there. Depending on whether or not you think it's an appropriate or safe idea, you could confront him about it. Whether or not he'll be truthful, however, is another story entirely. As long as your personal safety is ensured, don't jump to conclusions too early.


This.
@justjessie 
I too think its a bit much more than internet-forumers can help you with, mainly because I'm worried that their jokes and all their years of 4chan and desensitization on the internet are going to frighten you. There isn't a ton of empathy on the internet. 

I know that the worst case scenario here is one of the most disturbing things a girl can experience; its pretty serious -if- thats the case, but we don't know yet. I don't know, the other folks who posted here don't know.. the only one with any answers is your dad, so all you can really prepare for, for now, is how to approach the situation.

Is there someone close to you, who you can go to for support? I'd do that first, or sure, see a counselor, and then I would confront him. Theres no guarantee he will tell the truth, sure, but you know him and you will be able to tell by his reaction whether or not hes sincere. 

And seriously, it could be no big deal.. my laundry gets missing, resurrected randomly, tossed around, misplaced, and I'd never think its a big deal to find something has ended up in a wrong drawer; maybe the underwear was even found behind the dryer recently and tossed in with another load of laundry. And other possibilities that I can't even imagine, I'm sure. 

I'd also think that if someone was doing that taboo a perving, they'd hide it better than that.. 

But yeah, get some good support and then resolve it by just asking. This isn't the sort of question you want looming in the back of your mind.


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

Serious reply;

If he uses a PC try to check the history.

You know what I'm talking about.

If you find, what you might find... Get professional help.


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## justjessie (Oct 7, 2009)

Monsieur Melancholy said:


> In all seriousness, I don't know what to tell you. This may be something that's a bit heavy for an Internet discussion forum with complete strangers. If I were in your position, I'd speak to a counselor of some kind about it and then go from there. Depending on whether or not you think it's an appropriate or safe idea, you could confront him about it. Whether or not he'll be truthful, however, is another story entirely. As long as your personal safety is ensured, don't jump to conclusions too early.


I was thinking I'd get the most honest answers from strangers...but I know a lot of people aren't very sensitive. Thanks for the advice about the counselor though, definitely gonna use it.


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

justjessie said:


> I was thinking I'd get the most honest answers from strangers...but I know a lot of people aren't very sensitive.


Text based communication desensitizes people IME, but sorry for laughing.

I sincerely hope the situation isn't what you think it is.

And if it is, I hope I you able to find a way to cope... For some people a fantasy is just a fantasy.#

How old are you?


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## justjessie (Oct 7, 2009)

Thank you. This whole situation just disturbed me. Going to talk to a therapist about it. Thank you everyone who was supportive.


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

justjessie said:


> I could easily forget about it...but I'm tired of locking disturbing things or more like, events I can't process in a vault in my mind and forgetting about them and then having them creep up on me laater. I want to understand this.


True. It's just difficult to speculate on this particular issue.

I'm probably one of the older people in this thread right now (in my 40's), and your dad is twenty years older than me, he's of a different generation. He apparently hasn't been married for a long time. i don't know how his mom raised him, and he wasn't married long enough to pick up things from a spouse or an easily understandable method of organization, etc. he could just be non-sensible in how he handled what for many is a routine issue, or he could be getting his freak on. I dunno.
@Promethea spells it all pretty sensibly.


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## Schweeeeks (Feb 12, 2013)

justjessie said:


> Yeah it's just that they're in plain view. They weren't hidden in the back. I can see that though Moop. Thanks


Do you know what I do when I want to remember something?
I put it in plain view.

Like my textbooks. "Hey don't forget to study for this test."
I put directly on the table next to my laptop.
Know what I do next?

Forget to study. For 2 weeks. Until the zomgnooooo moment.
But it's there to constantly remind me. 
I do the same thing with items I need to return (gotten WAY better on this, it's just bad form to do that), etc:. Chores. I'll put the laundry bin RIGHT next to my chair. Cause how can I possibly forget it then? Four days later I assume there MUST be something wrong with me, because the laundry bin is still next to my chair and I haven't lifted a finger.
People do this with the mail too. They don't want to sort through it, but they go "Hey I'll leave right next to the table by the outside door so I do it immediately after I get home."

You should listen to @_Jennywocky_ too.
I can understand your fear, but try to bring yourself back to Earth. Get out of the house for a few days. Go to a friend and hang out. You don't have to talk about it. Just something to break up the pace of your mind.
After that, see how you feel about the situation.

Unless there are other warning signs. If your gut is telling you to leave, DO IT (esp if it has been telling you for awhile).


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## justjessie (Oct 7, 2009)

You should listen to @_Jennywocky_ too.
I can understand your fear, but try to bring yourself back to Earth. Get out of the house for a few days. Go to a friend and hang out. You don't have to talk about it. Just something to break up the pace of your mind.
After that, see how you feel about the situation.

Unless there are other warning signs. If your gut is telling you to leave, DO IT (esp if it has been telling you for awhile).[/QUOTE]

This. Thank you. gonna get some fresh air. Thank you for the clean perspective.


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## SirDave (Sep 1, 2012)

Very often when I carry my laundry into my room where I keep my clothes (my wife has full possession of the closets and dressers in our bedroom) I find her panties inside my clothes, up inside a sleeve of a sweatshirt for instance. 

Static electricity caused them to stick and then somehow get up inside a long sleeve. I've also found them inside a pair of denim trousers when I poked my leg through them. She gets a kick out of it and has fun with me when it happens such that she notices, if I don't put them directly back in her drawer and she notices.

I advise you to consider that possibility and her reaction.


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## ThatOneWeirdGuy (Nov 22, 2012)

Here's a thought: Ask him about it.


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## StElmosDream (May 26, 2012)

ThatOneWeirdGuy said:


> Here's a thought: Ask him about it.


@*justjessie*
Let us all be perfectly honest here, he is your Dad is there anything logically to suggest perversion to speak of that you recall?

_If yes_, seek professional support_ Else No_, simply ask him and let him justify your observation as 2 adults who love one another in a Storge sense without any inclinations towards Eros

Awkward conversation yes but you are his daughter, so there should be very little you need not be able to ask....


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## HighClassSavage (Nov 29, 2012)

Normally I'd say to just straight up confront him about it but there's a likely chance that he will either play it cool and lie or he will get extremely angry and defensive (assuming he's guilty), which I'm not sure you would want to deal with. Here's what I think you should do.

Remove the underwear from the dresser. Place it somewhere he could find it easily. Possibly somewhere where you could observe his reaction/behavior from a distance without him being able to see you. Now he has to confront you about it and if he doesn't, that's pretty indicative that he's being a fucking creep. I mean if he just puts it back in his dresser or anywhere else other than with your clothes, without mentioning it to you, that suggests he's got something to hide right? Of course he's going to know that you were rummaging through his shit but that's not as important as figuring out what the fuck is up.

Otherwise just ask him about it, only real way to find out.


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## Cetanu (Jan 20, 2012)

JungleDisco said:


> In all honesty, he's probably wanked in it and spoilt it with his seed. It's a man thing, some of them get off on that. I don't think you can blame him for his fantasies :/
> 
> I, personally wouldn't bring it up with my dad, I would rather gauge my eyes out, but if you feel like your personal values have been crossed, then tell him.
> What he did was wrong and disrespectful.
> ...


How can you say these things without even knowing the situation?

Have you talked to her father in advance of this thread to find out? Did you investigate somehow?

Or are you just spewing forth your own thoughts and prejudices?


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## jdstankosky (May 1, 2013)

Did you find them nicely laid out / folded purposefully? Were they just thrown in there randomly, albeit on top?

Have you considered swapping them for a different panty every day until he says something about it?

How about buying a larger pair of the one he had and sticking a sticky note on it that says, "<3 Thought these might fit better! "

How about just taking them back, inventory your wardrobe, and monitor whether or not another pair disappears?

How about completely swapping drawer contents so all that he has in his drawer is panties?

Man, soo many different practical jokes I wanna have you try...


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## justjessie (Oct 7, 2009)

jdstankosky said:


> Did you find them nicely laid out / folded purposefully? Were they just thrown in there randomly, albeit on top?
> 
> Have you considered swapping them for a different panty every day until he says something about it?
> 
> ...



If it was my step dad who I hate, I could see myself doing these things. But this is my dad someone I thought was the only person in my life who completely had my back.


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## justjessie (Oct 7, 2009)

justjessie said:


> If it was my step dad who I hate, I could see myself doing these things. But this is my dad someone I thought was the only person in my life who completely had my back.


And they were off to the side, set aside from his boxers but still touching them.


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## justjessie (Oct 7, 2009)

We are the only two in the house, he'd known I'd found them if I move them...and that's the last thing I want. Just going to have to figure out what his deal is through my therapist and accept it.


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## Cetanu (Jan 20, 2012)

justjessie said:


> If it was my step dad who I hate, I could see myself doing these things. But this is my dad someone I thought was the only person in my life who completely had my back.


Here's what I'd do:

1. Confront father about underwear in drawer without any prejudice in mind
2. Listen to explanation
3. Ask father if he would swear his house on the fact that he just told the 100% truth
4. If yes, believe him, if no, inquire further
5. Forgive father or ask for forgiveness (if assumption was wrong)
6. Be understanding, explain that you don't care but you would like him to tell you before doing things like that again.

and roll on from there. The key is not to have some weird shit in your brain, about how your dad potentially was doing creepy things, at the same time as doing the above steps.


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