# Is it wrong that I prefer to stay home, read, listen to music and watch movies



## hellokitty (Jun 6, 2013)

I'm really introverted and my boyfriend is really extroverted. He thinks I read too much. He wants me to socialize more. He's very social and everyone loves him. In a social setting, I'm just kinda quiet. I don't know what to say. I have a lot of anxiety and negative thinking. I used to talk a lot when I was younger but my dad used to tell me that I said the wrong thing and basically told me to shut up since I made a fool of myself so I just kinda shut down after that. 

Now I spend my free time listening to music, reading a lot of news and watching movies. My bf is very outgoing and he thinks there's something wrong with me. He criticizes me when I don't talk much to his friends and family which makes me feel pressure to talk and sometimes I just say the weirdest thing. Is it just we're not compatible or should I really learn more social skills? Am I weird for being quiet?


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## The Wanderering ______ (Jul 17, 2012)

@*hellokitty *
..... I don't know what to say. Your life is in your hands blah blah blah. If you want to be introverted then that choice is yours if you want to be more outgoing than that choice is yours too. Do watchu Like.!! and P.s. if your boyfriend is picking on you for not being outgoing then you might want to dump him cuz it doesn't sound like he likes you for you.


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## Chaerephon (Apr 28, 2013)

Like most others will probably say, it is up to you. I look at this way, when your life is all said and done, what is it you'll have wanted to do. If you do want to be more social, find people that love culture and socialize with them.


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## Angelus (Apr 9, 2012)

Well that's not very fair. My boyfriend on the other hand wishes I was even less outgoing (and I'm an Introvert too...). He prefers the very silent and modest girls who don't talk much and just want to stay home so he doesn't have to watch over them all the time. x3 But you don't need to change into something that's uncomfortable for you. I think you already know the answer to your question.


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## Inguz (Mar 10, 2012)

Talk with him, not us. Even though being introverted is normal, that uneasiness in social situations I assume you would want gone with practice?


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## Monsieur Melancholy (Nov 16, 2012)

hellokitty said:


> I'm really introverted and my boyfriend is really extroverted. He thinks I read too much. He wants me to socialize more. He's very social and everyone loves him. In a social setting, I'm just kinda quiet. I don't know what to say. I have a lot of anxiety and negative thinking. I used to talk a lot when I was younger but my dad used to tell me that I said the wrong thing and basically told me to shut up since I made a fool of myself so I just kinda shut down after that.
> 
> Now I spend my free time listening to music, reading a lot of news and watching movies. My bf is very outgoing and he thinks there's something wrong with me. He criticizes me when I don't talk much to his friends and family which makes me feel pressure to talk and sometimes I just say the weirdest thing. Is it just we're not compatible or should I really learn more social skills? Am I weird for being quiet?


You are absolutely not wrong at all, dear. Be proud of who you are!

You remind me a lot of me. My girlfriend was similar to your boyfriend in terms of being extroverted and social. There's a whole bunch of people around me who think I spend too much time locked away, doing solitary activities and not engaging with other people. So I definitely know how you feel, but I assure you there's nothing wrong with you!


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## RandomNote (Apr 10, 2013)

Its not wrong that's how ya are no need to change that if it don't do no harm.


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## Flatlander (Feb 25, 2012)

hellokitty said:


> I'm really introverted and my boyfriend is really extroverted. He thinks I read too much. He wants me to socialize more. He's very social and everyone loves him. In a social setting, I'm just kinda quiet. I don't know what to say. I have a lot of anxiety and negative thinking. I used to talk a lot when I was younger but my dad used to tell me that I said the wrong thing and basically told me to shut up since I made a fool of myself so I just kinda shut down after that.
> 
> Now I spend my free time listening to music, reading a lot of news and watching movies. My bf is very outgoing and he thinks there's something wrong with me. He criticizes me when I don't talk much to his friends and family which makes me feel pressure to talk and sometimes I just say the weirdest thing. Is it just we're not compatible or should I really learn more social skills? Am I weird for being quiet?


A lot of people seem to pathologize ways of being that aren't their own. In many a case, like this one appears to be, it's a form of projection, be it from a cultural or personal standpoint. They are somehow insecure in their own right so you are clearly the culprit and must be brought down to their level. Disregard, go on with your own life.


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## Northwind (Jul 24, 2012)

maybe it's a good idea to educate yourself on introversion.

the introvert advantage is a good book. i hear suzan cain's book is good, too, but i haven't read that myself.

and not just for you, but for your boyfriend, too. it can't hurt to read up on these matters, even for extroverts.


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

It's totally seriously wrong and you have to adapt to social standards of what it means to be extroverted or forever live in your cellar of introverted doom, have no friends and suffer for eternity because clearly everyone is too cool for you.


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## TheSunWay (Jun 8, 2013)

It all depends: Are you happy with your life as it is? The reason why your boyfriend may want you to socialize more with his friend and family, is maybe because he want to have a "serious"(it's problably already pretty serious, but you know what I mean, anyway) up running with you. I could imagine extraverted personalities also rate their family and friendships very high, and it's just easier if it all could be gatered into one community.


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

Maybe it's just me, but I thought relationships were about compromise. 

There's nothing wrong with being introverted or wanting to stay home, but life isn't all about you when you're trying to share it with someone else. Talk to your boyfriend and see what compromise you can reach. Maybe some days he'll stay in and others you'll go out.


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## thegirlcandance (Jul 29, 2009)

Well, he's not being very respectful and understanding to you by telling you that. Tell him that though you appreciate his concern, it is just in your nature and that you feel perfectly fine with it (that is, if you truly do feel perfectly fine with it... but that's for you and only you to decide).

Also, you might want to read the book "Introvert Power". I've found it pretty beneficial.


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## The Wanderering ______ (Jul 17, 2012)

I'm still confused.
why does it bother your boyfriend that you are an introvert? That aint yo fault.

I mean I'm an extravert technically. But I don't need to go out every day in order to feel my sense of self-worth. Hell if you told me years ago I that I was an extravert I wouldn't believe you. So seems to be the case when you have dominant Extraverted intuition. Anywho, I don't really understand the problem its not like introverted girls never like going out or extraverted girls always like going out. Most if not all people have a balance , a preference too, but a balance nonetheless. 

Seriously though I think you should just tell your boyfriend that this is who you are and that he should get over it. Besides its not like two of you can't find things to do at home alone together wink wink :wink:.


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## The Scorched Earth (May 17, 2010)

hellokitty said:


> I'm really introverted and my boyfriend is really extroverted. He thinks I read too much. He wants me to socialize more. He's very social and everyone loves him. In a social setting, I'm just kinda quiet. I don't know what to say. I have a lot of anxiety and negative thinking. I used to talk a lot when I was younger but my dad used to tell me that I said the wrong thing and basically told me to shut up since I made a fool of myself so I just kinda shut down after that.
> 
> Now I spend my free time listening to music, reading a lot of news and watching movies. My bf is very outgoing and he thinks there's something wrong with me. He criticizes me when I don't talk much to his friends and family which makes me feel pressure to talk and sometimes I just say the weirdest thing. Is it just we're not compatible or should I really learn more social skills? Am I weird for being quiet?


No.


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

The Wanderering ______ said:


> I'm still confused.
> why does it bother your boyfriend that you are an introvert? That aint yo fault.
> 
> I mean I'm an extravert technically. But I don't need to go out every day in order to feel my sense of self-worth. Hell if you told me years ago I that I was an extravert I wouldn't believe you. So seems to be the case when you have dominant Extraverted intuition. Anywho, I don't really understand the problem its not like introverted girls never like going out or extraverted girls always like going out. Most if not all people have a balance , a preference too, but a balance nonetheless.
> ...


I'm pretty sure being extroverted has nothing to do with a need to establish a sense of self-worth.


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## The Wanderering ______ (Jul 17, 2012)

Marlowe said:


> I'm pretty sure being extroverted has nothing to do with a need to establish a sense of self-worth.


I didn't say it did. She said her boyfriend said she needs to get out more. That mean her boyfriend values going out, and at the same time he believes other people need to go out too. Due to the fact that he values going out to the point that he told his own girlfriend that she also needs to be a person who is more outgoing even if its not her natural comfort zone, I came to the conclusion that he needs to go out regularly in order to establish a sense of self worth within himself. CheckMate!


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## Fern (Sep 2, 2012)

Heck, I wish there were *more *people like you! Don't change.


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

The Wanderering ______ said:


> I didn't say it did. She said her boyfriend said she needs to get out more. That mean her boyfriend values going out, and at the same time he believes other people need to go out too. Due to the fact that he values going out to the point that he told his own girlfriend that she also needs to be a person who is more outgoing even if its not her natural comfort zone, I came to the conclusion that he needs to go out regularly in order to establish a sense of self worth within himself. CheckMate!


Is that you, Tharwen? How did you manage to get out of your thread??


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## The Wanderering ______ (Jul 17, 2012)

Fern said:


> Heck, I wish there were *more *people like you! Don't change.


More introverts!!!... nah. I like variety.

I really want to meet an IXTP or IxFP 3-7-8. Most introverted introvert with the most extraverted enneagram tritype. 
Can you say MASSIVE Contradiction!?


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