# Feelings for her persist, unsure what to do. (INFPxINTP)



## amanda32 (Jul 23, 2009)

myjazz said:


> Every time I hear your words my heart fills with joy and I do not want to stop listening to you.
> 
> (I think we are getting of subject here and I think Amanda32 just wants a male infj to flirt with her :tongue: )
> *note the old english victorian mode showing her admiration and playful side


Hey, I was just trying to "help the cause" -- If I had to "subject" myself to INFJ flirting well...so be it. Just taking one for the team:wink:

**note to OP, playful flirting works wonders.


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## Socrates (Feb 1, 2010)

Fail. I failed, like every other time. :frustrating:


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## JJMTBC (Jun 4, 2010)

Honestly, I think you're worth more than chasing after a girl who won't reciprocate your interest. Besides, what's your rush? Live your life and focus on what's most important to you that doesn't involve the companionship of a romantic relationship!


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## Socrates (Feb 1, 2010)

Fuck it.

In 20 years I'll be another dead rockstar, who needs this shit? 

:angry:


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## JJMTBC (Jun 4, 2010)

Clandestine said:


> Fuck it.
> 
> In 20 years I'll be another dead rockstar, who needs this shit?
> 
> :angry:


I'm confused, to what are you referring?


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## Socrates (Feb 1, 2010)

A lot of things.


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## JJMTBC (Jun 4, 2010)

Clandestine said:


> A lot of things.



You know, this shit happens. I remember I broke up with the guy I thought I was going to marry when I was 19... and I was sooo devastated, but life goes on, and I always was looking for things that were wrong in my life, and I was so determined to be in a relationship. It's been over 4 years, and I've been single ever since, and honestly, I've had time to really focus on the things I want to do (I'm a musician too). 
The thing I've realized is, we're so young, and we have our whole lives to be in a relationship. There are so many people who are twice our age who wish they would've enjoyed being young, single and free. 

I dunno, maybe this isn't helpful, but maybe it is. But for what it's worth, life really just isn't easy in any way at all, so we just have to make the best of what we have


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## Socrates (Feb 1, 2010)

Get famous, deliver some quality music, pull a Cobain. That's the plan. I've been here in this world far too long anyways. :dry:


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## JJMTBC (Jun 4, 2010)

Clandestine said:


> Get famous, deliver some quality music, pull a Cobain. That's the plan. I've been here in this world far too long anyways. :dry:


hmm, if only.. but i'm sure life will surprise you along the way.. and life can be good if you let it. 

The secret to life: you make your own decisions.. that's right, you can decide what you feel, you can decide how you spend you time, you can decide what you do.


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## Socrates (Feb 1, 2010)

Life will be. :bored:

(a growing pain in the ass, as is the pattern)


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## JJMTBC (Jun 4, 2010)

word......


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## Black Rabbit (Apr 15, 2010)

I just have a question regarding the OP. I was rereading it a few times and noticed you mentioned online interaction only. I know you live 25 minutes away but have you two met in person? This may be a dumb question but it might provide further insight if you haven't.


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

Clandestine said:


> *I came out with my feelings and she made note that everything depended on whether she decided if I were just lonely or really interested. *Somewhere along the way, Jim Morrison steps in. Jim Morrison lives 500 miles away and was apparently pretty damn neat. :dry:


This part makes me wonder if she's onto something. ARE you just lonely or are you really interested? Perhaps you are now interested. But is that just because she rejected you? Sometimes attraction comes when the one you adore is the one who holds your self esteem in their hand. When they decide to throw that self esteem that you let them have..... well..... you become seemingly dependent on them to repair your self esteem. 

I think what is happening.... and I could be wrong. Is that it's not so much her that you want.... it's you. You want to have your self esteem back. You may want her but I think a big portion of it may be an illusion. How well do you know her? Have you guys met in real life? 

You mentioned earlier signs that you weren't happy and joking about not going further. ....I can definitely identify with that. I mean sometimes the struggles of this life can be far too much. I think you should definitely stay though : ). I mean I think a lot of it.... if I may be candid..... is that you're just needing someone to appreciate you for you. We all do... and sometimes people are stubborn about giving love or appreciation in the slightest.... usually cause they are afraid it will not be reciprocated or it may make them vulnerable. 

But anyway.... know that (this is hypothetical if you are feeling how I think you are feeling) you have so much to offer and value yourself over. Don't let this girl hold your value. That's a lot of responsibility for someone and that's a lot of uncertainty for yourself. 

I will end this by saying I could be wrong.


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## Socrates (Feb 1, 2010)

Troisi said:


> I just have a question regarding the OP. I was rereading it a few times and noticed you mentioned online interaction only. I know you live 25 minutes away but have you two met in person? This may be a dumb question but it might provide further insight if you haven't.


Yeah, we did.



thehigher said:


> This part makes me wonder if she's onto something. ARE you just lonely or are you really interested? Perhaps you are now interested. But is that just because she rejected you? Sometimes attraction comes when the one you adore is the one who holds your self esteem in their hand. When they decide to throw that self esteem that you let them have..... well..... you become seemingly dependent on them to repair your self esteem.
> 
> I think what is happening.... and I could be wrong. Is that it's not so much her that you want.... it's you. You want to have your self esteem back. You may want her but I think a big portion of it may be an illusion. How well do you know her? Have you guys met in real life?
> 
> ...


You're probably right, actually. It makes a lot of sense. :bored:


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

Clandestine said:


> Yeah, we did.
> 
> 
> You're probably right, actually. It makes a lot of sense. :bored:


I suppose it doesn't help though eh?


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## Socrates (Feb 1, 2010)

thehigher said:


> I suppose it doesn't help though eh?


I don't know.

Explanations like that make me like INFPs, though. It's a nice balance.

It's another two months and ten days until I go back to college. There are a ton of women there, which is a good thing. The bad thing is the odds involved. Shitty odds. I'm fucked, not literally.

I think I'm going to start smoking. :frustrating:


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

Clandestine said:


> I don't know.
> 
> Explanations like that make me like INFPs, though. It's a nice balance.
> 
> ...


Well I'm kinda in the same boat with ya. My break up with my intp was pretty rough as well. I'm still getting over it so I feel your pain. Slowly getting better though. Self esteem and all of that doesn't get repaired over night. I'd say give yourself at least a year. Sound bad? It is. But it's worth it. You'll find your way out eventually. Just takes time and you getting a grasp on you. 

Don't start smoking. Do other addictive things.... like computer.... jackin off..... something that doesn't kill you in the long run. And know that you are filling a hole that will eventually be filled by something real.


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