# Slept with an INTJ, is he just not interested?



## Nancy_n362 (9 mo ago)

ImpossibleHunt said:


> He could just be avoidant too. It's unfortunate, but it's not outside of the characteristics of people who have an avoidant attachment style. Lots of INTJs are said to have this problem.
> I'd honestly say to try and talk to him. If this is just due to miscommunication, then at least that's settled right? In that case, if you wanted something and him something else, you can try to move on from it.
> If not, maybe suggest doing something that is a focused activity but keep it casual, relaxed and low-risk. If you keep it intense like this, then he might want to distance himself for a while to recharge.


thank you for your advice, it is good advice. He very well could be avoidant - I suspect that. What do you think I should do if he booty call texts me? Doesn’t reply until Friday night comes around at 10pm, asking me to come over?


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## ImpossibleHunt (May 30, 2020)

Nancy_n362 said:


> thank you for your advice, it is good advice. He very well could be avoidant - I suspect that. What do you think I should do if he booty call texts me? Doesn’t reply until Friday night comes around at 10pm, asking me to come over?


Trust me, I’m in no way an expert in this field. However, if you don’t like his behaviour (or at the very least, it causes you this amount of stress), then maybe don’t reward that behaviour when he calls? Unless you’re fine with him being inconsistent, then I guess just respond to whenever he calls but then it’s partially on you too if this behaviour continues. It depends on what you want, and what you’re willing to compromise I guess. If you want something more meaningful and long-term than try to communicate a bit more next time you see him?


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## ESFJMouse (Oct 13, 2020)

Did you two work it out? You are really young, maybe it is helpful to talk to other men too to help you forget about this one, and also then you won't feel shy around men! You won't be so unsure of yourself, and your confidence in talking to men will improve.


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## Nancy_n362 (9 mo ago)

ImpossibleHunt said:


> Trust me, I’m in no way an expert in this field. However, if you don’t like his behaviour (or at the very least, it causes you this amount of stress), then maybe don’t reward that behaviour when he calls? Unless you’re fine with him being inconsistent, then I guess just respond to whenever he calls but then it’s partially on you too if this behaviour continues. It depends on what you want, and what you’re willing to compromise I guess. If you want something more meaningful and long-term than try to communicate a bit more next time you see him?


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## Nancy_n362 (9 mo ago)

ESFJMouse said:


> Did you two work it out? You are really young, maybe it is helpful to talk to other men too to help you forget about this one, and also then you won't feel shy around men! You won't be so unsure of yourself, and your confidence in talking to men will improve.


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## ESFJMouse (Oct 13, 2020)

Well you are being true to yourself and your values and this is all that matters!


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## ESFJMouse (Oct 13, 2020)

^and ordering someone an Uber is the height of good manners.


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