# Grudges



## PennyLane4 (Dec 14, 2016)

Introvertia said:


> I think I hold grudges more than the average.
> It only takes one mistake to end up being removed from my life permanently.
> 
> I don't know how to forgive certain things. I've tried. I can say I forgive someone, I can even think I have forgiven someone, until I meet them again and notice strong feelings refire as if their betrayal had just happened, although it could have been years ago.
> ...


This is me. ISFJ, and _I think_ 9w1. I still try very hard to be kind to people who have upset me in the past, but internally I'm still steaming about whatever has been done to me in the past, and I can be very passive aggressive towards them if I'm around them for too long. 

I'm not happy with it, but it's the unfortunate truth.


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## Yamato (Dec 21, 2014)

sometimes said:


> Mbti and enneagram if you know them in comments. And add any further information on it if you want obviously.[/QUOT
> 
> ISTP Enagram 6 wing 7 , i somewat live by the rule(s) i dont forget , i dont forgive and i always hold grudges .
> Aldo when i am angry or hold a grudge i ussaly forgot about wat but i do know im angry at someone and that i hate them . i also know if im like that to someone they deserve it , despite me forgeting wy .
> ...


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## Dragoncress (Jul 11, 2016)

INFP 
I hold less grudges than other people.

I try to understand where they come from and I think I'm pretty forgiving?
It takes a lot for me to hate someone.
I don't make a lot of grudges because I usually confront them personally and talk about why they did a certain thing. I usually just get really annoyed and angry with them because what they did was 'wrong'. 

I remember the things a person does mostly.


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## mOchO (Mar 3, 2011)

I don't have the time nor the energy to hold grudges. Never had. It doesn't last longer than a few days, and then that person vanishes from my head, becoming a stranger with whom I might need to talk to (ex.: work, neighbour, etc.). The worst person I've met in my life regarding grudges is my Wife (lol)! I get tired just from listening her spitting off snakes from her mouth (not to me)! I don't know how she can handle it! This feeling (to this extent) was completely unknown to me until I met her. The funny thing is she saying she's not like that (I only told her this once - I'm afraid of making the same mistake again - LOL)!


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## OHtheNovelty (Aug 14, 2016)

ISTP

I eat something, pass my time doing something, and just like that, I'm over it. No point in dwelling on it. What happened, happened. And if it isn't life-threatening or important, then no point in keeping a hold on negative feelings.


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## zerouva (Mar 25, 2017)

Depends on how much I care about the person and how much they screwed up. 

My dad cheated on my mom, when I was 11 and I will never look the same at him, but I don't hold a grudge anymore. Maybe when he does me wrong, then I'll remember it, but that's it.


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## Nekomata (May 26, 2012)

INFP. I hold grudges more than most people. People piss me off too much xDD. Grudges for me could last for years xP


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## ArmchairCommie (Dec 27, 2015)

INTP 6w5
Even though I can be extremely forgiving at times I'll never stop holding some sort of grudge towards people who have betrayed me, I just hate it when people turn their backs on me.


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## Gossip Goat (Nov 19, 2013)

Even if I don't like it, I can't help but not be able to let things go. Even if I couldn't really know what the average amount of holding grudges is in the population, I still think I do it a lot.


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## MolaMola (Jul 28, 2012)

ENFP
If I recieve an honest apology, it is almost impossible for me to hold a grudge. It's very hard for me to stay mad at people for long, unless they've done something extremely awful. I'm way too forgiving, tbh.


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## Caveisier (Dec 14, 2016)

INFP.
I usually hold a grudge to someone that I hate and always remember it, but strangely I easily to forgive them when they ask for apology or when they're not doing the bad things like before anymore.


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## Nixu (Jun 2, 2010)

I voted _other_ because I'm not sure how to classify it. Is it a grudge if I just decide the person is not worth my time, and eventually even forget the actual reason for this? As I don't keep a Book of Grudges, I won't remember why I dislike the person, but I know I do so for a reason.
Then, the ones I _do_ hold a real grudge against...that grudge is deep. It takes a lot to get on that list, and thus, it only has a few people on it. Latest of whom is my mum.
My grudges tend to be passive. I cut ties in, often in a most hurtful way, and then refuse to acknowledge their existence. I won't block them in email, phone or anything, I just mark everthing as read without reading it. I get a certain satisfaction in them knowing their messages were succesfully delivered, yet remain unanswered.

INFP, enneagram type 2 (can't remember more about enneagram, sorry).


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## outofplace (Dec 19, 2012)

As I've gotten older, I tend to hold on to grudges less and less. If someone wronged me without any remorse or apology, they cease to exist in my life.


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## lifeisanillusion (Feb 21, 2011)

I hold grudges and I think I hold them about as much as most people. I am an INFJ and Enneagram Type 4.


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## Doccium (May 29, 2016)

It really depends on the person. If they irrationally have treated me like I was a mouse and they were hungry cats then it is way more likely for me to be angry at them until the end of time though when I have the assumption (or when I know) that they themselves have to deal with a lot of stress then I'm willing to not hold a grudge.

I remember getting my heart broken by someone and I ended up forgiving and even feeling sorry for them because I suspected that their life was not the best either - despite the fact that everyone around me told me not to be nice to them.


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## crazitaco (Apr 9, 2010)

INFP. I hold a long, deep grudges until the person who has wronged me proves to be sincerely sorry about it.
Sometimes they don't actually have to directly apologize, sometimes I'll change my mind if I can clearly seee the offending behavior has improved.
I can pretty easily forgive when I feel they deserve it, but I have the memory of an elephant when it comes to people hurting, angering, or betraying me.


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