# Small talk, like it or get bored by it?



## WickedQueen (Jun 1, 2009)

Depends on my mood. 
My best record was 9 hours non-stop small talks.


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## NewSoul (Mar 27, 2009)

WickedQueen said:


> Depends on my mood.
> My best record was 9 hours non-stop small talks.


 I would have died right there.


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## de l'eau salée (Nov 10, 2008)

I like talking about whatever interests me, small talk or not. I find it hard to say I do or don't like small talk because some I do enjoy and some I don't, it just depends on if I find the certain topic interesting.


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## Sidewalk Balloonatic (Mar 10, 2009)

I just don't understand it. Like what am I supposed to say when people ask "been busy?" I just use stock answers like "I'm never busy." I think it's a necessary evil though. You have to start somewhere I guess. I'm not a good conversationalist whatever the nature of the topic so whatever.


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## stellar renegade (Jun 28, 2009)

Roland787 said:


> Now of course its different with you 'annoying':tongue: extroverts, all wanting to 'connect n shit' with ppl. We introverts dont see any enjoyment or accomplishment/achievement in such lame conversations.


haha. Yeah, well I get enjoyment out of talking with people because it enables me to read them better. I know a whole lot more about them, and know more about people in general, and thus am able to move/influence/mobilize people more efficiently when I want to. I know what makes them tick.

I hope others don't see that as me finding ways to manipulate or 'use' other people, because that's not really what I'm saying. I don't see people as means to an end, I see people as enjoyable in and of themselves, but my interaction with them is enjoyable because it enables me to get "inside" them and kind of be intimate through moving them, through influencing them. I don't really have an "end" in mind, and I'm not trying to serve my own goals really, I just like to be able to do that for it's own sake.

In a strange way I feel closer to them because of it.


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## matilda (May 21, 2009)

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

You get accustomed to it sooner or later, I guess.

But then you meet Person A and you realize what you've been missing out on. 

Curse you, Person A, curse you.


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## εmptε (Nov 20, 2008)

EDIT: Oh No! I'm starting to go insane. I thought she said 'No talking.' I should go to sleep. It's 10AM here.


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## Kevinaswell (May 6, 2009)

Oh yea.

What I said earlier wasn't meant to imply that I'm no good at small talk. I'm actually incredibly great at it. It's the easiest shit in the God damn world >.< You all can do it. Just SAY anything at all. You don't even have to put thought into it. It's so stupid. Just. Anything about anything. Look around. See a table? Say something about it.

Whenever I'm forced to do it my cynical ass is always mentally in my head all "oh man I can't believe I'm saying this bullshit and it's working."

Generally, I instead opt going straight for more interesting shit. "Like video games? What kind? Oh yea? That game isn't too good. This is why. You'd like this one more probably. Ever heard of the LHC?"

Not suggesting I'm always a forcefully opinionated asshole, that was just a simple example >.< 

Most often I've found that even small-talk-loving extroverts who just feel like socializing will accept a conversation like that from a stranger, they may react a bit strangely though depending on the person.


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## matilda (May 21, 2009)

Kevinaswell said:


> "oh man I can't believe I'm saying this bullshit and it's working."


Hahhahahahaha. There ya go. :crazy:


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## timtom (Jul 6, 2009)

i'm either walking away or pacing out (or falling asleep... it happened only once or twice) but it might be just my ADD

i used to say stuff like "let's talk about politics" when the conversation started becoming unbearable but i stopped with it when i realized that it always worked no matter how sarcastically i said it

i could've written these myself:


 "oh man I can't believe I'm saying this bullshit and it's working."
 "I feel like an idiot ... People think i'm aloof and weird, but I just don't enjoy connecting on that level. I would like to enjoy it, seems to make socializing so much easier."
 "I try and I try but I'm no good at it so it always comes across as forced which for some reason always makes people think oddly of me."
 "yeah, i should really do some research on how to get good at small talk, like openers, funny quotes, topics etc. but it's so uninteresting that i have never really gotten myself to do it. i swear, one day i'll look into it..." _-- i thought i could become more "sociable" this way, but fortunately couldn't get myself do it either _:laughing:
 "hate it and i suck at it. ... i stare blankly and have an obvious "who gives a shit?" expression on my face. ... i excitedly make some sort of strange connection ... and they stare blankly and have an obvious "wtf?" expression on their face."


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

alright

if i am walking in the hallway going to my class....dont come up to me and be like...."what are you up to?"


wtf...im going to freakin class like everybody else you idiot. 

k ...sorry i hate small talk


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## stellar renegade (Jun 28, 2009)

thehigher said:


> alright
> 
> if i am walking in the hallway going to my class....dont come up to me and be like...."what are you up to?"
> 
> ...


Hey, they probably think you might just be slacking off like "everybody else" and want to know if you want to go smoke a joint.


_...or hug very tenderly in front of the girls' locker room._ :wink:


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## roxtehproxy (Sep 9, 2009)

I'd rather be the listener, otherwise I hate small talk. Speaking of which, at the counter of a desolate dairy I paid for three energy drinks--A new guy was working there. Noticeably an Indian, but pertaining a small portion of Indian. Started some small talk, mind goes blank, Indian laughs genuinely and dismisses me. This was perhaps the most eccentric/outgoing man I've seen working in a dairy before. Nice to hear the talking, but I generally discard even the idea of thinking about talking.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

I get bored by it and generally do not partake in it, and when I do it's usually only out of politeness rather than genuine interest.


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## Aßbiscuits (Oct 8, 2009)

I hate it, unfortunately it's how you start a conversation xD.

God it's so boring. I rather go up to someone and make random noises in their face then embarrass myself with how bad I am with small talk because in some cases it's essential but it bores me too much to care about it even if it is essential.


Someone: "The weather is nice today, eh?"
Me: "Boop! bap! mlah!"

It's simple to talk about the weather, too simple and too trivial, too boring, too time wasting, too annoying.


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## The Proof (Aug 5, 2009)

assbiscuits said:


> I hate it, unfortunately it's how you start a conversation xD.


I think small talk is for extroverts who really need it, they just care about communicating, exactly what doesn't matter

you don't have to do it if you don't want to, but if you can, there are plenty of people who will like you for it

the above is not advice


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

Thracius said:


> I think small talk is for extroverts who really need it, they just care about communicating, exactly what doesn't matter
> 
> you don't have to do it if you don't want to, but if you can, there are plenty of people who will like you for it
> 
> the above is not advice


My enfj friend hates small talk. She always kinda puts me down whenever I start a conversation the normal way. She challenges me to be creative and actually say what's on my mind.


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## Anatta (Oct 8, 2009)

The I's there for a reason, I guess; conversation's not my thing. I try, eventually I just lapse into a silence and they assume they've done something to upset me. In a way, I am upset, but only because I can't make conversation and it makes me seem strange/aloof without wanting to. I try, I do give up, it's partly my fault for not keeping at it but I always just seem to humiliate myself.


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## entpreter (Aug 5, 2009)

assbiscuits said:


> I hate it, unfortunately it's how you start a conversation xD.
> 
> God it's so boring. I rather go up to someone and make random noises in their face then embarrass myself with how bad I am with small talk because in some cases it's essential but it bores me too much to care about it even if it is essential.
> 
> ...


LOL! I'll try that next time! I hate small talk. Sometimes I intentionally skip it, but I find that many people find that insulting as if I don't care about them or their lives and I notice that they back away, so I've learned to keep up with it--it's still a work in progress.


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

assbiscuits said:


> I hate it, unfortunately it's how you start a conversation xD.
> 
> God it's so boring. I rather go up to someone and make random noises in their face then embarrass myself with how bad I am with small talk because in some cases it's essential but it bores me too much to care about it even if it is essential.
> 
> ...


PLEASE do that


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## plzNthx (Sep 19, 2009)

when (inevitably) backed into small talk, if i'm interested getting an impression of the person i'm talking to, i tend to amuse myself more with the person's mannerisms and inflection, rather than the content-- at least until the conversation slides into something i find a bit more interesting. if not so interested, i usually growl or shuffle through my "important" documents. like last thursday's completed crossword.

i also get annoyed when people ask me something like "what ALL did you do today?", expecting me to draw out my day for them. it was boring enough the first time. thinking back through the awkward encounter i had with the old pharmacist at walgreen's is not my idea of an interesting way to fill the gaps. unless i get to bring up the story myself. with proper characterization. and story-telling hands.


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## Sily (Oct 24, 2008)

Love it. "It's cold out there.." "How about that wind!" "It's raining out there.." "Suppose to get colder tonight..." Connects me in a way to others, experiencing common conditions. We both know it's windy out but talking about it is cool, especially if a disaster is going on... "did you hear about the accident on ..." or "they are evacuating route 9 because of flooding..." 

I get a lot of "Hi. How you doing?" .... usually said when passing in halls at work. Usually my response is the same "Oh, hanging in there..." or if it's Thursday, everyone at work knows I'll answer "Happy Friday!" and then they'll say "it's thursday" and then I'll say "it's Friday for me!" 

The small talk usually lasts 7 seconds and I feel it's the least I can do for my fellow compatriots.


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## Irisheyes (Sep 11, 2009)

If someone stopped me in passing, I usually smile politely, nod my head and hope for an exit without appearing rude... When I really don't want to small talk, I'll see them in the corner of my eye and act like I didn't see them.:bored:


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## Ben (Aug 23, 2009)

I just don't do it. They usually start the small talk, and I skip to something more interesting or give them brief answers until we get to some other, more fun, topic.


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## Stars (Jul 23, 2009)

Small talk makes me die a little inside each time I engage in it. Come on, let's look a little deeper, shall we? Let's make this exciting and fascinating. Hell, sometimes I don't even greet my friends, I just launch right into what I want to say.


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## entpreter (Aug 5, 2009)

Stars said:


> Small talk makes me die a little inside each time I engage in it. Come on, let's look a little deeper, shall we? Let's make this exciting and fascinating. Hell, sometimes I don't even greet my friends, I just launch right into what I want to say.


OK, here goes it, "_How do you want to die_?" No, really. That's a hypothetical question, by the way.


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## BehindSmile (Feb 4, 2009)

I can't stand small talk.


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## Tantive (Dec 17, 2008)

To get things started, then it starts boring me.


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## Selden (May 24, 2009)

Actually maybe it's just me but I don't mind small talk. It can get annoying but I tend to enjoy people's company more than their conversation. As long as there's emotion and true want of connection put into the small talk, I'll deal with it. It's a lot better than a stranger/acquaintance going into deep talk.

Selden: Hey, how are you doing?

Person A: Oh I don't know. I'm feeling really shitty today and I hate everyone. I'm close to being an alcoholic and my parents say I'm not accomplishing anything. My uncle molested me twelve years ago, man those were strange times. Hey, do you want to talk about Zen Buddhism?

Selden: O.K...


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## Blue Butterfly (Sep 19, 2009)

Stars said:


> Small talk makes me die a little inside each time I engage in it. Come on, let's look a little deeper, shall we? Let's make this exciting and fascinating. Hell, sometimes I don't even greet my friends, I just launch right into what I want to say.


I agree with you Stars, small talk takes me days to recover and drives me into deeper introversion. If someone traps me into small talk I can guarantee that the friendship is over forever.

Maybe if someone that likes small talk can explain what they gain from it would help the rest of us to learn to appreciate it.


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## Selden (May 24, 2009)

Hurting said:


> I agree with you Stars, small talk takes me days to recover and drives me into deeper introversion. If someone traps me into small talk I can guarantee that the friendship is over forever.
> 
> Maybe if someone that likes small talk can explain what they gain from it would help the rest of us to learn to appreciate it.


It's a way of keeping up with someone (if you don't have the time to keep up with them). Sort of a way to not get forgotten after quite some time. As I said in the previous post, some people are better at picking up body language and vibes, so for them it's more about enjoying company rather than conversation. Personally, I do it when I first meet someone. Deep talk can be good but it can also turn things into a disaster. Slowly but surely I build up my conversations to those I know and trust. Slowly going from shallow to deeper waters. Rather than jumping into the deep end and suddenly finding out there's sharks. And Piranhas.


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## Blue Butterfly (Sep 19, 2009)

Selden said:


> It's a way of keeping up with someone (if you don't have the time to keep up with them). Sort of a way to not get forgotten after quite some time. As I said in the previous post, some people are better at picking up body language and vibes, so for them it's more about enjoying company rather than conversation. Personally, I do it when I first meet someone. Deep talk can be good but it can also turn things into a disaster. Slowly but surely I build up my conversations to those I know and trust. Slowly going from shallow to deeper waters. Rather than jumping into the deep end and suddenly finding out there's sharks. And Piranhas.


 
Selden, I love the way you put that. Small talk as a way to "enjoying company rather than conversation" is a good way to survive small talk.

I usually can just feel the sharks and piranhas before the conversation ever starts. So don't need small talk to discover that. I can feel the danger.


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## Selden (May 24, 2009)

Hurting said:


> I usually can just feel the sharks and piranhas before the conversation ever starts. So don't need small talk to discover that. I can feel the danger.


I suppose so but...sometimes people, especially _some_ women (not saying it's any women here and it's certainly not Hurting), get hunches that some guys are danger when they aren't. And then some people trust some others simply by the way they present each other at first. Not saying we shouldn't use gut feeling or there are iffy people out there but...this is why most people shouldn't carry around pepper spray. For whatever reason, most people say that I look dangerous or whatever when they talk about their first impressions of me. I guess it's because I'm quiet, sit in the corner, and wear leather jackets/styled clothing. It gets annoying over time, I can understand it but I don't understand why being quiet suddenly makes me dangerous.


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## Dominguez (Oct 16, 2009)

Roland787 said:


> small talk? whats that? that must be what theyre doing when i walk away from them...


:laughing::laughing::tongue:


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## MasterDood (Oct 23, 2008)

As an INFJ, I hate small talk. If i have to have small talk with a friend, they are not likely my friend. Small talk does exist with my friends but it never goes much beyond saying, hey whats up? then it goes somewhere. I wouldnt let my friendships get to the point where small talk is necessary. I dont allow things to be open ended, so its a binary thing-yes or no? are we friends or not? being in between is a pain to me... thats why i rush into either having a deep friendship or avoiding the person altogether. I hate superficial crap and the millions of pointless conversations that are borne of them. excuse my language


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## Hiccups24-7 (Oct 17, 2009)

I've always been a listener, and I've always been horrible at small talk ack! I've always preferring something beyond the surface and avoided long conversations about nothing, it's painful, it's true. But I've found it to be important in life if you want to function you need to do it and your worth is in some way dictated by it. I've had a lot of people judge me based on small talk then later say how surprised they are once they go beyond the surface.. I hate that judgement with a passion, just because my small talk skills are cruddy. 
I don't socialise enough that's my problem, oh wait I do I just sit there and listen though especially when there are more than 2 people there.
But... I only dislike it because I'm crap at it, once I get better at it I'll ..... dislike it for new reasons. 
I aspire to be closer to extroverted!!! *falls off soap box*
S.


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## StephAnne04 (Oct 19, 2009)

There are pleasant kinds of small talk. I make small talk with the cashiers and waiters and what not of the world. But when it comes to talking to friends, no thank you. Besides the retail people, I only make small talk with people I don't feel comfortable with. I find it very awkward. I would much rather have a deep conversation about what a person believes or has opinions about then to discuss the weather.


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## phrancrizo (Sep 19, 2009)

I always have to start small talks at work...

nothing exciting.

(i try to get the customer out faster than expected to avoid the talks.)

I get annoyed when I say something like, "I like your shoes.." and they respond with, "Thanks I got them at so and so place when I was with blah blah doing things..." 
In my mind, i'm thinking, 'I didn't ask...' :mellow:


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## MasterDood (Oct 23, 2008)

phrancrizo said:


> I always have to start small talks at work...
> 
> nothing exciting.
> 
> ...


I know where you're coming from. I am always complimenting people, but I am not expecting a dumb conversation, usually it's to spark up something with a stranger-not that I actually CARE WHERE THEY got it from. hahaha


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## ChapterSeven (Oct 22, 2009)

I like small talk depending on the person or situation. Sometimes I get sucked into drawn out, heart felt conversations - even with strangers.


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## Think (Mar 3, 2010)

:bored:



I must post at least 10 characters.:tongue:


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## Mollynotdadog (Mar 14, 2010)

I'd rather small talk than suffer awkward silences. So they're good in a sense, but yes-boring.


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## cavarice (Jan 30, 2010)

I often find myself much more competent in small talk than I usually think I am. However, I find it annoying, and only see any value in it as a means to an end. My most common use of small talk is when I'm stringing someone along whom I'd rather not talk to, and where bluntness would have very negative consequences. With people whom I have actual relationships with, I much prefer silences when there is nothing to talk about.


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## Think (Mar 3, 2010)

cavarice said:


> I often find myself much more competent in small talk than I usually think I am. However, I find it annoying, and only see any value in it as a means to an end. My most common use of small talk is when I'm stringing someone along whom I'd rather not talk to, and where bluntness would have very negative consequences. With people whom I have actual relationships with, I much prefer silences when there is nothing to talk about.



This is the case with me too.. but, I get bored during the conversation and love to have silence instead of the small talk


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## fn0rd (Mar 21, 2010)

I abhor small talk almost as much as I do Sensors.


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## Litchi (Dec 2, 2009)

According to me I like samll talk which have complete message 

I get bored by it when the message is repeated somany times.


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## Jib (Nov 4, 2009)

I prefer silence to small talk. I think it'd be nice to just be able to go on a walk with someone and not feel a need to say anything at all.


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## Midnight Runner (Feb 14, 2010)

Mollynotdadog said:


> I'd rather small talk than suffer awkward silences. So they're good in a sense, but yes-boring.



I feel the exact same way, except I suck at small talk so I end up with awkward silences on top of the boring small talk.:dry:


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## GrimmTeather (Mar 3, 2010)

Small talk is like torture. I can't friggin stand it. Whenever I do it, I sum things up quickly and tie up loose ends.. it doesn't give the other person space to add anything.


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## iDane (Mar 25, 2010)

I am not one for small talk myself. More often than not I find it uncomfortable and rather useless.


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## littlelight (Mar 27, 2010)

I like small talk but nothing about work or telling me what to do. lol


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## mdawn (Mar 30, 2010)

read below...


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## mdawn (Mar 30, 2010)

matilda said:


> I have this habit of skipping small talk (with acquaintances). Both sides end up disappointed.


 
i would definitely have to agree with this. small talk is tedious. fake almost. its filler for when one of the parties is feeling awkward in the silence. for example: when hairstylists insist on catching up on the lastest gossip. thats when im sitting there thinking "for God's sake. shut the hell up". Im an INTJ. and i think i can speak for most INTJs when i say that small talk is tedious, and insignificant..and only used in awkward moments of silence between 2 or more people. and INTJs love silence. which is why we HATE small talk. i rest my case entirely.


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## MasterDood (Oct 23, 2008)

mdawn said:


> i would definitely have to agree with this. small talk is tedious. fake almost. its filler for when one of the parties is feeling awkward in the silence. for example: when hairstylists insist on catching up on the lastest gossip. thats when im sitting there thinking "for God's sake. shut the hell up". Im an INTJ. and i think i can speak for most INTJs when i say that small talk is tedious, and insignificant..and only used in awkward moments of silence between 2 or more people. and INTJs love silence. which is why we HATE small talk. i rest my case entirely.


This is interesting to hear. I speak when I get uncomfortable to break the silence, but you say you enjoy the silence. I get uncomfortable when there's silence-to me that means something is wrong. But I hate small talk and its incredibly awkward, and sometimes even moreso than if I just left my big mouth shut. I just have this desire to please everyone around me, and if someone isn't happy in my presence i want to change that.


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## twisted4000 (Mar 31, 2010)

small talk is something that just comes to naturally. i can try and fake it but it gets too exhausting after awhile and i sure cant hang out with a group making small talk. i will have to dominate the convo or absolutely shut up. no half measure for me!!


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## fn0rd (Mar 21, 2010)

Utterly bored.

Occasionally, *rageface*


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## HraP (Apr 4, 2010)

I don't just get bored by it, I get frustrated by it. People should just shut up if they haven't got anything to say. Nothing is as horrible as someone going all "hey the weather's nice don't you think" on me.


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## The Shaktus (Apr 19, 2010)

Bores me half to death.
Can we talk about something interesting?
No, I don't wanna talk about Jersey Shore.
I'll talk about your sudden interest in de Sade.
No, I don't wanna talk about your lower back tattoo.
.....
All right, I'll bite. Why is Kobe Bryant so horribly overrated? (basketball or sports in general is my one true weakness.)


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## Numbers Guy (Apr 23, 2010)

Hate it. This actually happened to me today. I was in the check-out line at the grocery store and this woman just randomly asks me "hey do you think my makeup looks okay?" Well, it looked fine...and I told her so. However, she kept talking, telling me about why she rushed to put her makeup on this morning, how her girlfriend did so and so, so she had to race to the store before work for so and so. :dry: 

Homegirl just kept going and going. Generally, I hate when complete strangers approach me when I'm trying to get s**t done. Well, I just hate talking to complete strangers, as bad as that sounds, but I usually have a focus when I'm out in the middle of the morning. If I am going to the store, on my way to work, going to mail something off etc...I just don't have time for needless banter and distractions. That is, unless its a potential love interest, in which case I turn into jelly. Sometimes my heart talks a teeny bit louder than my brain.


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## tskim (Mar 2, 2010)

I hate small talks!
sure it gets the conversation going, but what else? I realized that there's more to a conversation than a simple talk. Other than being friendly and asking how you are, it's always good in the end. I want a real conversation out of a friend. An acquaintance or a stranger, I don't mind. I've gotten used to it so it's not like asking how you are bothers me anymore even though we all know the answer is good and rarely bad or so so.


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