# Guys: Do You Like Directness?



## sparkles (Mar 2, 2011)

Please give your MBTI and/or Enneagram when you answer.

Example of directness: "Hey, I think you're cute. Here's my number. We should go out sometime." 

Example B: A girl is about to watch a soccer game. She says to you, "Watching those soccer players gets me really hot, so I will expect some sex with you after the game. Be ready."


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

Yes.

INTP (usually). 

I should add that I wouldn't want that exclusively. There's a lot of fun to be had in indirect banter, flirting and double-entendre. But yes, if you really want something and don't feel like playing coy, I definitely like that. It's a turn on.


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## perennialurker (Oct 1, 2009)

I like directness in example A but not in example B. Actually something like B really happened to me, only there was no soccer match involved. I thought she was attractive at first, but then her being so direct about sexuality was a complete turn-off. Sadly I have never experienced anything like example A in real life.

I am a 5w6 INTJ though I have no reason to believe that my answer to this question is in any way representative of either most 5's or most INTJ's.


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## StElmosDream (May 26, 2012)

Perfectly fine although example B could be better worded as indirect suggestion as @*redmanXNTP *suggested, I can't help but find it a bit tiring knowing that people expect to be asked first when males are supposed to be the thoughtless ones or mind readers in the case of example A.

INFJ

6w5


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## sparkles (Mar 2, 2011)

StElmosDream said:


> I can't help but find it a bit tiring knowing that people expect to be asked first when males are supposed to be the thoughtless ones or mind readers in the case of example A.


What exactly are you saying here? I'm having a little trouble getting it.


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## sparkles (Mar 2, 2011)

So far, you guys are saying you totally dig example A but don't like example B as much. Would that be equally true with a purely sexual partner, a newly acquainted person, and an established relationship partner?


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## StElmosDream (May 26, 2012)

sparkles said:


> What exactly are you saying here? I'm having a little trouble getting it.


I suppose I was trying to convey the confusion of gender led dating roles, where different personality types may expect someone to 'notice' a willingness to date with or without offering indications and how this expectation can be haphazard or convoluted to both genders.

Not for initiating casual encounters, I'd feel rather over sexualised (feeling the male need to perform on command then refusing) seeking to know the true person not their projections or needs alone although I don't mind other alternatives, assuming there is no major expectations from the start.


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## bigtex1989 (Feb 7, 2011)

ENTP 7w6 so/sx

I love the directness exemplified in both examples but in different ways. The first example would make me feel good overall, although I might make the girl do more before I agree to go out. Unless she is leaving, I'd have her sit with me and chill for a little bit, make her flirt with me, etc.

The second example would make me laugh my ass off. I would probably say something like "oh really??" and try to engage in some banter. That being said, if a girl came up to me and said "nice shoes. wanna fuck?" I probably couldn't help but say yes. I can appreciate getting to the point XD


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

sparkles said:


> So far, you guys are saying you totally dig example A but don't like example B as much. Would that be equally true with a purely sexual partner, a newly acquainted person, and an established relationship partner?


I was assuming what you said was with an established, romantic (meaning, not just sexual) relationship. I suppose it would work if someone was a NSA sex partner. 

Anything else and that starts to get a little awkward.


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## Inphamous (May 10, 2011)

Im an INTJ who also borders on aspergers lvls of empathy so directness is not only desired, it is required. I will not be sure enough of any subtle hints to act on them. So yea both examples are great but i have never met a woman that would consider saying either to a completely strange guy even if he were in the top 1% in terms of physical attractiveness (and associated first impression characteristics).


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

perennialurker said:


> I like directness in example A but not in example B. Actually something like B really happened to me, only there was no soccer match involved. I thought she was attractive at first, but then her being so direct about sexuality was a complete turn-off. Sadly I have never experienced anything like example A in real life.
> 
> I am a 5w6 INTJ though I have no reason to believe that my answer to this question is in any way representative of either most 5's or most INTJ's.


However, that was exactly the way my INTJ ex felt.


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## Mountainshepherd (Feb 23, 2012)

INTJ type 5.

Example A is great, if more women did that kind of thing we'd have a more balanced dating environment. 

Example B, really depends on where and how and lets be honest it depends on the woman. If I'm attracted to a woman I'd generally be fine with that, if I wasn't it would just be bloody awkward. So its a bigger gambit. That one is also a mood/situation thing, I've had the sexual invite before and been flattered but not wanted to follow up on it for other reasons.


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## sparkles (Mar 2, 2011)

perennialurker said:


> I like directness in example A but not in example B. Actually something like B really happened to me, only there was no soccer match involved. I thought she was attractive at first, but then her being so direct about sexuality was a complete turn-off. Sadly I have never experienced anything like example A in real life.
> 
> I am a 5w6 INTJ though I have no reason to believe that my answer to this question is in any way representative of either most 5's or most INTJ's.


what turns you off about B?


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## Inphamous (May 10, 2011)

I should probably elaborate on my answer some. While im all for both approaches (as much in the name of sexual equality as anything) i would probably not agree to either in most cases becuase I highly compartmentalize my life. If im out of the house it is for a specific purpose and any distaction or deviation is undesireable (yes even sex). This is probably more of a mental illness than a type thing though. I would appreciate directness in general though so just some ellaboration i guess : )


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## Sovereign (Aug 19, 2011)

sparkles said:


> what turns you off about B?


Arrogance. 

Her: I would like to have sex with you, so obviously you'd like to have sex with me. So get ready, we're going to do it when I want.

My initial reaction would probably be to laugh my ass off. That's not just being direct, that's being socially inept.


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## AstralSoldier (Jun 18, 2012)

sparkles said:


> Please give your MBTI and/or Enneagram when you answer.
> 
> Example of directness: "Hey, I think you're cute. Here's my number. We should go out sometime."
> 
> Example B: A girl is about to watch a soccer game. She says to you, "Watching those soccer players gets me really hot, so I will expect some sex with you after the game. Be ready."


I'd rather a person just be themself; I'm not interested in people who put on a show for people, because I can instantly 'sense' when I'm getting fake vibes from a person, because I'm paying attention to the non-verbal as well as the verbal exchange...all I can say is the fake vibes just rouse suspicion. Just bring 'yourself' out on the table and be yourself. If you're direct, be direct, if your subtle, that's SEXY! when acting unlike yourself, I've seen people fail miserably at that. You can tell their either direct or subtle by the way they try to try their reverse function and their really no good at it...a direct person should be direct, and subtle person should be subtle, because the non-verbal cues to me signify you're 'being in your element' and confident about it, and not acting out of character. 

I'm an INFJ with an Enneagram type 1 with Sexual instinctual variant (although I STRONGLY identify with type 8) roud:


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

INFP. And your example of A is pretty much how my wife and I quit flirting and got serious about marriage (I was a muslim at the time, and instead of dating we had extended phone conversations before we decided to get married).

Example B is incredibly arrogant and domineering IMO, like @Sovereign pointed out. If someone's turned on by that then that's cool, I'm not.


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## Tristan427 (Dec 9, 2011)

sparkles said:


> Please give your MBTI and/or Enneagram when you answer.
> 
> Example of directness: "Hey, I think you're cute. Here's my number. We should go out sometime."
> 
> Example B: A girl is about to watch a soccer game. She says to you, "Watching those soccer players gets me really hot, so I will expect some sex with you after the game. Be ready."


Directness is preferred, seeing as the little signs women usually give are open to interpretation. Some women are naturally flirtatious, which can give guys the wrong idea. Directness leaves no room for interpretation, and is preferred.


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## GoodOldDreamer (Sep 8, 2011)

I love example A. I really wish it would happen more often.

Not a fan of example B though. I'm not some tool for your entertainment. Instant turn-off. "I expect sex with you." Gee, that's great, puppet master. Tell me how high to jump so I can reach all your expectations! 

I would personally be more interested in something along the lines of, "Watching this soccer game gets me really hot..." and leave the words at that, with maybe a sly grin, or a little squirm in her seat, maybe snuggling up close, her hands always touching me (like constantly rubbing my arm or hand or something like that).

You know, that sort of thing. Rather than try to drag me into something, draw me in. Just want me, rather than want me to perform.

Anyhoo. INFJ 9w1.

Edit/Addition: I should probably also add I'm a demi, so to me, example B will always take place within the context of an established relationship, if that means anything here.


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## CoakJoints (Feb 2, 2012)

directness makes my dick hard


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## perennialurker (Oct 1, 2009)

sparkles said:


> what turns you off about B?


To be honest, I'm not really sure. I generally don't like too much overt sexuality from women; I'm just odd.


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## Aqualung (Nov 21, 2009)

I like directness. I'm fairly intuitive about a lot of things but I can't read minds or speak Rorschach. I've tried but usually failed. I'd gladly take A or B over what I'm used to hearing.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

pinkrasputin said:


> However, that was exactly the way my INTJ ex felt.


I'm curious - was your ex the kind of guy who liked to compete against other men?


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## goodgracesbadinfluence (Feb 28, 2011)

I'm a girl, but I think Example B is straight up creepy.


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## runnerveran (Dec 19, 2011)

Yes, I love it 

And I'm an INTP.


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## Hruberen (Jan 2, 2012)

My type and enneagram is in my sig

I'd like the first scenario, the second is worded too statically, if it was more creative than I would like it. I just want a girl to go after what she wants with passion, whatever it is. If it's sex with me, I would want her to actively approach that, same with a promotion, or asking a new guy out, if you want to do it, then do it.


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## Arrow (Mar 2, 2012)

INFP

I love direct people who make choices so Example A is awesome, it lets me know where I stand and now I can then make a choice about if I am interested and want to persue rather then testing the waters and doing endless litmus tests. Not a fan of example B though, it makes me feel like a show horse being expected to perform on demand. I would prefer for sex to just kind of happen, not to have to account and plan for it so awkwardly at least in my relationships.


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## Yardiff Bey (Jun 5, 2011)

ISTJ, 9w1, SX/SP/SO

Example A = awesome, the girl is very interested in me. May not lead to sex however the option is there.

Example B = 1/ in an established sexual arrangement is good, 2/ when not in an established sexual arrangement is bad (way too forward and assumes that I actually want to have sex with her at the drop of a hat - kind of creepy/stalkerish and makes me wonder if I want to get involved with this girl)

On the whole I like the "I'm interested in you" directness for a new person, and the "lets fuck right now" directness for an established relationship. Not so hot for the "lets fuck right now" directness for a new person unless in a bar scene and it was very obvious that she was wanting to get her rocks off immediately if not sooner - that'd be more expected and acceptable. Though I'd still worry about the chances for an STD, protection would be mandatory.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

redmanXNTP said:


> I'm curious - was your ex the kind of guy who liked to compete against other men?


I don't know. I just know he was a bit on the defensive. He wore multiple rings on his hands in order to intimidate someone that he could throw a punch if he had to. 

I don't think he appreciated my guy friends, nor do I think he cared for "Internet buddies". 



Yardiff Bey said:


> ISTJ, 9w1, SX/SP/SO
> 
> Example A = awesome, the girl is very interested in me. May not lead to sex however the option is there.
> 
> ...


For the record, if I overtly flirt with anybody it's either because I know I will never meet you or I really don't care for you and want to beat you at your own game. 

The men I date irl, never hear overt sexual gestures from me. But my boyfriends that I'm actually committed to may hear me say "Let's fuck." But that's usually after we've had a lot of sex and I've heard them mention that to me a few times. I would never pick up a stranger at a bar and I would most certainly never pick up a stranger in a bar for purely sexual relationships. 

And just because I drunkenly bring up my hooha on a post doesn't mean I have STDs or I assume we'd even have sex. Sometimes I just like to push buttons and speak my mind.


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## Yardiff Bey (Jun 5, 2011)

pinkrasputin said:


> For the record, if I overtly flirt with anybody it's either because I know I will never meet you or I really don't care for you and want to beat you at your own game.
> 
> The men I date irl, never hear overt sexual gestures from me. But my boyfriends that I'm actually committed to may hear me say "Let's fuck." But that's usually after we've had a lot of sex and I've heard them mention that to me a few times. I would never pick up a stranger at a bar and I would most certainly never pick up a stranger in a bar for purely sexual relationships.
> 
> And just because I drunkenly bring up my hooha on a post doesn't mean I have STDs or I assume we'd even have sex. Sometimes I just like to push buttons and speak my mind.


Understood, midear.

What hooha in a post? I think that it's well-established that you like pushing buttons and speaking your mind.


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## donkeybals (Jan 13, 2011)

@sparkles Both of your examples I would be bashful. :blushed: Most likely.

However, I will say this, that approach is so much better than indirectness.

Getting asked "Would you want to go see a movie sometime?" Or, "can I kiss you?" etc, is sexy to me.


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## William I am (May 20, 2011)

sparkles said:


> Please give your MBTI and/or Enneagram when you answer.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



ENTP, Enneagram - Enneagrams are BS.

Directness like in example A - yes. Directness like in example B - no.


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## MisterD (Feb 24, 2010)

ENTJ & 8w7.

Yes I do like directness. However, most of the fun is in the chase.


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## Master Mind (Aug 15, 2011)

Inphamous said:


> I should probably elaborate on my answer some. While im all for both approaches (as much in the name of sexual equality as anything) i would probably not agree to either in most cases becuase I highly compartmentalize my life. If im out of the house it is for a specific purpose and any distaction or deviation is undesireable (yes even sex). This is probably more of a mental illness than a type thing though.


No, it isn't "a mental illness," as I am similar and have no mental illness.

For example, one time a woman was talking to me--I later realized she was actually flirting with me as I later reflected upon the days events--while I was at the gym, but at the time I was kind of annoyed because she was cutting into my workout time. When I go to the gym, I go there to workout, not to talk to people or socialize. Since I'm paying for the use of the facility, when I go there, my mind is on doing what I'm paying them to allow me to do. The two are separate.


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## Master Mind (Aug 15, 2011)

Sovereign said:


> Her: I would like to have sex with you, so obviously you'd like to have sex with me. So get ready, we're going to do it when I want.


Didn't you know?

Men are supposed to always want it, and be in a perpetual state of horniness. Any "red-blooded male" would love for that to happen to him.

I'm afraid, sir, that I must now revoke your mancard.


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## Sovereign (Aug 19, 2011)

Master Mind said:


> Didn't you know?
> 
> Men are supposed to always want it, and be in a perpetual state of horniness. Any "red-blooded male" would love for that to happen to him.
> 
> I'm afraid, sir, that I must now revoke your mancard.


I'd give it to you, but it's been revoked for years. They sent me a letter after I refused to have sex with my first girlfriend. In my defense, she was crazy, but they revoked it anyway.

Edit: Oddly enough, her approach was rather like woman B.


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## Brian1 (May 7, 2011)

Both are I'm in. Yeah, directness works well for me. I don't want someone to beat around the bush on sex...no pun intended there. 

I'm an ESTP, and we look directness.

Edit: On second thought, after comparing posts, I would have to go with A. I can imagine someone giving their number to me,but I can't place myself at a tv watching soccer, unless it's a World Cup match. I would also have to say, B sounds more of a tease arrogance. You don't know if you are actually going to get sex, or just be pulled on a string, and can be said in an afterthought, not really honest way, but, A, the person has covered the phone number, so you know there's at least something there.


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## Impermanence (Apr 24, 2012)

Example A turns me on but example B would take me completely off guard. I like directness to a certain point.


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## searcheagle (Sep 4, 2011)

sparkles said:


> Please give your MBTI and/or Enneagram when you answer.
> 
> Example of directness: "Hey, I think you're cute. Here's my number. We should go out sometime."










> Example B: A girl is about to watch a soccer game. She says to you, "Watching those soccer players gets me really hot, so I will expect some sex with you after the game. Be ready."


Okay, INTJ Type 5.

Approach A, would really work, especially when the person is actually an acquaintance or friend. That being said, my first reaction would be disbelief, considering that I am not approached that way- ever. 

Approach B, would turn me off completely. For starters, the person is not interested in me but they are interested in a bunch of soccer players, and I'm just in the area. Second, they are only interested in sex, nothing more. I'm looking for something more.

Still I think the best approach is "call me, maybe." lol


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## WolfStar (Aug 18, 2009)

sparkles said:


> Please give your MBTI and/or Enneagram when you answer.
> 
> Example of directness: "Hey, I think you're cute. Here's my number. We should go out sometime."
> 
> Example B: A girl is about to watch a soccer game. She says to you, "Watching those soccer players gets me really hot, so I will expect some sex with you after the game. Be ready."


Sure. I like both, though. I like being able to switch between both roles. It keeps things interesting. INTJ/5.


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## searcheagle (Sep 4, 2011)

Ningsta Kitty said:


> I wish this were a poll question!


I saw most of these results, and most men of the men who responded would prefer Option A to Option B. (Those some are fine with both.)


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## WanderingLucid (Jul 11, 2012)

Tristan427 said:


> Directness is preferred, seeing as the little signs women usually give are open to interpretation. Some women are naturally flirtatious, which can give guys the wrong idea. Directness leaves no room for interpretation, and is preferred.


That is true for me. I am a naturally friendly lady and usually do not realize the signals I may inadvertently give off. So either you have to take a chance and ask outright or I will at some point go from beating around the bush to a moment of spontaneity and make the move. Directness is hard for me though, don't know if it's an INFJ thing or not. I don't mean to be coy but with relationships I'm perplexed and the type to internalize and forget to say it out loud at all or in a coherent manner. Too much over-analyzing and I'm


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## Kabosu (Mar 31, 2012)

ENTP 6w7

Yes, but it does not have to be as blunt as the OP (I expect a certain level of depth). I hate mind games and the like (as far as relational attraction) because I never really acquired a skill for them. I still think they work best for arrogant douches.
I can understand if person is naturally shy or something like that.


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## JoetheBull (Apr 29, 2010)

INTP 5w(not sure) sp/sx

Kind of.
Example A I will be very suspicious. I had girls do this back in high school. It was a trick. Shouldn't have been surprised(but fell for it like a morn almost all the time). I have had this happen to me on several occasions.


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## sparkles (Mar 2, 2011)

JoetheBull said:


> INTP 5w(not sure) sp/sx
> 
> Kind of.
> Example A I will be very suspicious. I had girls do this back in high school. It was a trick. Shouldn't have been surprised(but fell for it like a morn almost all the time). I have had this happen to me on several occasions.


A trick? That's terrible.

I know several INTPs who have had women throw themselves at them!


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## Logical Ambivert Feeler (Aug 17, 2011)

INFP
Option A, yh why not, I prefer to get to the point
Option B sounds hot, but only if I could say it back when I felt like it


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## smrtrthnyou (Jul 15, 2012)

ENTP. I love the game. Directness is nice when it is appropriate but I have never had trouble telling when that is with the people I required it from. I think flirting etc... is all fair game. You smile, I come talk, you say gross, I go talk to someone else, no harm no foul.


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## Yardiff Bey (Jun 5, 2011)

JoetheBull said:


> INTP 5w(not sure) sp/sx
> 
> Kind of.
> Example A I will be very suspicious. I had girls do this back in high school. It was a trick. Shouldn't have been surprised(but fell for it like a morn almost all the time). I have had this happen to me on several occasions.





sparkles said:


> A trick? That's terrible.
> 
> I know several INTPs who have had women throw themselves at them!


Had such tricks played upon me as well, back in school. Some types of nasty bitches do it just to fuck you around, its like they got some warped sexual charge out of it.

Later on girls wonder why guys avoid them like the plague. Burned too many times, difficult to overcome that early avoidance-conditioning. V_V


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## searcheagle (Sep 4, 2011)

sparkles said:


> A trick? That's terrible.
> 
> I know several INTPs who have had women throw themselves at them!


I think many men are skeptical of physical complements from women for 1 main reason: We don't know WHY those comments are coming to us.

While it common for women to receive compliments, for men, it is much more rare. Therefore, when it happens we can suspect the worst when it comes out of the blue from a stranger: a prank? after money?


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## WanderingLucid (Jul 11, 2012)

searcheagle said:


> While it common for women to receive compliments, for men, it is much more rare. Therefore, when it happens we can suspect the worst when it comes out of the blue from a stranger: a prank? after money?


Most unfortunately and with much complication is the fact that one cannot know immediately. I've both seen and had so many examples of good and bad come-ons or flirting, pranks. It is annoying isn't it that we can't just tell from looking what it's gonna be. Are you playing me? Are you serious? Are you naturally silly? Are you one to give compliments all the time and this means nothing?
On a fun side note my friends and I have created this big list of things we want to do in the next 3 years. Big and small ranging from 'get into graduate school', 'write a book', 'go skydiving' to 'buy shoes', 'ask someone on a date', and 'go up to a random guy you think is cute and tell him so.' Perhaps there are more lists out there like this. And the list will include to be bolder from your lady interests!


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## WanderingLucid (Jul 11, 2012)

searcheagle said:


> While it common for women to receive compliments, for men, it is much more rare. Therefore, when it happens we can suspect the worst when it comes out of the blue from a stranger: a prank? after money?


Most unfortunately and with much complication is the fact that one cannot know immediately. I've both seen and had so many examples of good and bad come-ons or flirting, pranks. It is annoying isn't it that we can't just tell from looking what it's gonna be. Are you playing me? Are you serious? Are you naturally silly? Are you one to give compliments all the time and this means nothing?
On a fun side note my friends and I have created this big list of things we want to do in the next 3 years. Big and small ranging from 'get into graduate school', 'write a book', 'go skydiving' to 'buy shoes', 'ask someone on a date', and 'go up to a random guy you think is cute and tell him so.' Perhaps there are more lists out there like this. And the list will include to be bolder from your lady interests!


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## Rayne (Apr 28, 2010)

Search Eagle is totally right.

I don't even remember the last time somebody that wasn't my girlfriend said something nice about me or my appearance.
Probably why I have such low self esteem.]

I get dressed up and people just do not give a fuck.


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## searcheagle (Sep 4, 2011)

Rayne said:


> I get dressed up and people just do not give a fuck.


Thus why I never get dressed up!


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## The Whirlwind (Jun 1, 2012)

INTJ Type 5.

I prefer directness in most cases. When it comes to social crap, I'm kinda inept at picking up hints, so I tend to piss off some people (esp. girls) when I literally can't "take the hint". What I DON'T like is the kind of directness that's assertive. I don't want to feel like I'm out of control / being told what to do.

The good: "Listen, I want to talk to you about... (insert subject here)" <<< As opposed to brushing it off or hoping that I know exactly what I mess up and when.
The bad: Soccer example OP listed pissed me off a bit. I wouldn't mind as much if I knew the girl really well, but if things were just getting started it'd seem like a depraved move.


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## Enkidu (Apr 19, 2010)

Yes and No. 

INFJ 4w5

I can appreciate directness for clearness of intent and honesty, not for brashness and lack of tact. More specifically, if a person means to say something or convey a message through body language even, it should match their intentions - but done with consideration of the other person's feelings. For example, two of my co-workers (an xNTx of some sort and an obvious ESTJ) communicate in decisive, linear ways. To put it another way, there is no subtlety of action, planned care, or roundabout approach in speech or action. (This was just to cite two types of personalities - for reference.) When it comes to courting or just simple flirting, directness from a woman is often a huge relief for men. It takes the pressure away from them to perform and act the dominant role of pursuer. Romantically speaking, this is often a curse in disguise - when one partner takes the aggressive role and the other submits, the result is an imbalance of respect (power) in that relationship. Personal preference aside, it's important that two people are able to balance their communication styles, that is, conform to the needs of their partner. In doing this, two personalities undergo a kind of fusion and essentially meet in the middle, so to say. This is the function of _change_ and _difference_ in romantic relationships - it's growth potential. 

To be clear, directness is essential, but not every person you meet will be comfortable with that style of communication, all the time. People need to be sensitive to this. As with behavior, it should be a mode that can be switched ON/OFF when appropriate.


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## 29885 (Nov 29, 2011)

I feel I must move through some phases to appreciate directness.

When encountering someone for the first time, I almost certainly require them having a sense of constraint. I will hastily know if I tolerate the person or not, not that my opinion can't change later on. It is however a good guideline. If someone comes on too fast, I'll probably ignore her or show little interest in our socializing - I basically shut down. I'm not direct in that sense that I shove the person away, I like sensing and testing the waters - perhaps the person is drunk or just doing something unnatural for her, I'll give it some time. I don't want to be wrong, maybe she's just friendly or whatnot, so I chill. Physically touching me is a no-no if I don't like her, but as long as she keeps her hands within limits, I'm cool with it. Ladies who act entirely on their physique/are touchy are probably doomed with me. Flaking every asset you have from the get-go is a few steps too many ahead for me, you don't jump into the race half-way through without checking with the official first. 

Now, a simple approach sure to get my attention is no more complicated than a smile and hello. It's not "fuck me bebeh", but still nothing too hard to figure out. That way you monopolize other things that otherwise could go unnoticed. Every dude knows how to check a girl out, you don't need to bury our faces between it. If I tolerate you, chances are your approach will make me like you in a short while if you act and talk like a decent person. I'll smile, joke, tease and flirt if I like you, that comes naturally, and I think that's straight-forward. Having warmed up to each other, then maybe I'll pop a more intimate question, or go in for something/ask for your number etc. In summary, I need time to warm up to you, but I don't like mind games but playfulness.

Directness enters the equation when and if we have been physical.

Not sure of my type. INFP/ENFP perhaps? The enneagram has turned out different all three times I've tested myself, so.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

ENFP 7wB Sp/Sx
yes. I prefer the other person to be the initiator, though I generally end up doing it myself


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## stone100674 (Jun 22, 2012)

ISTJ
I love directness, can't really explain why. Maybe cause it saves time


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## Lawless Land (Jul 10, 2012)

INFP 
Dear god yes I love directness I am terrible at reading signals and the direct approach is something that I can understand without having to try.


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## psychologicalDan (Apr 1, 2012)

INFJ
A: Responce: Shy smile, with an eyebrow raise (I like it)
B: Responce: (1) Just avoid like I would a crazy person or a politician (2) Reply "go fuck that guy over there, he looks like an asshole" (If I'm tired and I don't give a shit)


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## sparkles (Mar 2, 2011)

Yardiff Bey said:


> *takes hand*
> 
> *heads for hotel*
> 
> (I a littlezonked from it being 1am and having a bad head-cold.)


Another totally workable response! No words needed. :wink:


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## Cerebro (Jul 30, 2011)

sparkles said:


> Please give your MBTI and/or Enneagram when you answer.
> 
> Example of directness: "Hey, I think you're cute. Here's my number. We should go out sometime."
> 
> Example B: A girl is about to watch a soccer game. She says to you, "Watching those soccer players gets me really hot, so I will expect some sex with you after the game. Be ready."


INFJ Type 1w2 here.

Example A: ABSOLUTELY! I think it's cute, sincere, and frankly, I'm a little uneasy to approach girls, since I always doubt they will be interested. 
7 years ago, in sixth grade, some people at my class table told me they knew someone (one of their cousins) that they thought I would like. So they showed me pictures, told me so much about her, and even showed me something she made for me: her picture, with some interesting things about here on the piece of paper attached, written in pink marker. She was beautiful, and we had so much in common. I was always a freak, especially back then, so I was in love. Needless to say, they made her up. I think that always scarred me. 
On top of the fat stage I went through, and my nerdy, eccentric ways (especially in comparison to my "cooler" twin brother), I never expect that a girl likes me. So if she comes out and says it, I warm up quick. I'm just afraid I'll express interest, and once again, I won't be worth her time.

Example B: While my very strict Type 1 moral code prohibits me from premarital sex, if there were a more toned-down alternative, then I would LOVE it. If a girl was sitting beside me in a movie theatre, a street show, or something on TV at a pub (I'm not into sports, so I'm trying to find another example, but failing), and she said something along the lines of "Just so you know, if I get scared, I may pull myself close to you so you can protect me", then I'm. In. Love.

Basically, if a girl is forward in a way I find tasteless (like proposing sex), I'm turned off quickly. But if it's something harmless like kissing me on the cheek, grabbing my arm, or giving me her number, I'm smitten, especially if she emanates a sort of sweetness. I love when girls are direct, it allows me to be comfortable, and know I'm worth her time.


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## Shinji Mimura (Aug 1, 2012)

ENTP. 3w2 (it was called "The Charmer", whatever that means).

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!

If you're not being direct what are you doing? You're beating around the bush, that's what!

I mean, some might argue there's a middle ground, and I mean...okay, yes, there is some middle ground between the polar opposites, but...whatever. I'm pretty direct, risky, etc, so I'd expect the same (or more) from my lover.

Tact is a necessary skill, duh, but if a girl says "Hey I think you're cute, here's my number" or "soccer games get me hot so be prepared for sex" as suggested in the OP, she's not only a keeper, but I don't know why we aren't married yet.


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## Razare (Apr 21, 2009)

*Please give your MBTI and/or Enneagram when you answer.*

INFJ - Type 5

*Example of directness: "Hey, I think you're cute. Here's my number. We should go out sometime." *

Uhm! Whether I like that or not depends on whether I like the woman or not based on an opinion already formed in my head. This opinion becomes complicated if she asks, and I've decided I like her as a person but not in a relationship.... because I have trouble politely snubbing people whom I value.

If I like her already, then yes, it's great if she makes a move.

If I haven't thought about her one way or another, then it can't hurt her chances any to make a move, surprising me by asking actually works in her favor from my perspective because I'm more likely to go on a date with her then. If I'm given time to think about it, I'm more likely to nit-pick some quality in our dynamic that makes us unsuitable as a pair... and once I've decided that, it'll be a swift no.

*Example B: A girl is about to watch a soccer game. She says to you, "Watching those soccer players gets me really hot, so I will expect some sex with you after the game. Be ready."*

That's fine, but I'll just assume she's joking and laugh it off.

I've had a woman I liked say the oddest things to me years ago... out of the blue, she asked me to go on a trip with her to spend a week with her family in another state. Like we had never hung-out outside of work at that point... yeah we talked but that was it.

I couldn't tell if she was serious or not because it was the most illogical approach possible... I still have no clue what her intent was. I assumed she was joking at the time, but I gave her a serious no just in case she was serious... and she didn't allude it was serious or unserious. Like after I told her no, I couldn't really read her body language but if I had to guess it was, "Oh he thought I was serious!"... but that's only a guess. I have no idea.

I'm guessing it was purely friendly, but maybe she did want to start a relationship with me. She did say we should hang out sometime after that happened... but her problem with me was this: The first two times I asked her out, she snubbed me. After the second snub, I gave up on her and just stopped focusing on her completely... what was I supposed to do?

Then when she asked if I'd go spend a week with her and her family, it was too dramatic of a way to begin a relationship... whether friendship or romantic. Plus, it was left in a hazy zone where I couldn't distinguish her intent, whether friendly or romantic.

I had another woman make the same mistake of asking me on something too major for the first go... she asked me double date with her cousin involved, but the date lasted 8 hours .... O.O

Women need manuals on how to setup first dates with guys, I think. It's pretty much the same rules as a guy's, just they don't learn it as well, I think because they're not normally the ones to setup first dates.

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Oh and if I later found out that woman was serious about sex, it would depend upon about 100 different factors as to whether I went along with it or just rejected her and left.

Assuming I liked her and did want to be in a relationship with her, I might just give up on her if she tried that depending on my state of mind at the moment.... which really comes down to how long we've been "dating" and the strength of my sex drive at that moment which can overrule common sense.

Assuming there was no romantic interplay before that moment, and she wanted to begin things with sex... well, I don't date women like that so I don't have to worry. *shrugs* Pretty simple answer.  Couldn't even date them if I wanted to, someone that exciting would be bored by one look at me.


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

INFP

Yes. It just cuts through a lot of BS and dancing around the issue when there needn't be any dancing. Just come out, say it, and you can fast-forward through a period of empty gestures and move on to meeting the real person rather than spending weeks talking to a facade.


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## Malovane (Jul 12, 2010)

sparkles said:


> Please give your MBTI and/or Enneagram when you answer.
> 
> Example of directness: "Hey, I think you're cute. Here's my number. We should go out sometime."
> 
> Example B: A girl is about to watch a soccer game. She says to you, "Watching those soccer players gets me really hot, so I will expect some sex with you after the game. Be ready."


From an INFJ 9w8 sx/sp

Example A - Directness appreciated. Heightens interest.

Example B - Total turnoff. Implies id based behavior. Not worth my time.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

most definitely. I'm into younger guys, so generally I have to do the approaching, but it's really nice when they approach me instead roud:


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

my responses would be 


sparkles said:


> Example of directness: "Hey, I think you're cute. Here's my number. We should go out sometime."


"sorry hun, you're not my type. I'm flattered though" :happy:



> Example B: A girl is about to watch a soccer game. She says to you, "Watching those soccer players gets me really hot, so I will expect some sex with you after the game. Be ready."


"talk to me again and I'll slap the shit out of you" (crude, creepy AND full of expectation? you've got to be kidding me. honestly, it would probably piss me off a great deal if someone said something like this to me)


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