# 3w4 or 8w9 or 8w7?



## Belledonna (Mar 7, 2018)

Hi there!

I am curious whether I am 3w4 or 8wx as I can relate to both of them. A while ago I thought I was 9w8 because of spirituality and low energy. But as I grow and move to more healthy environment, I feel like I am not 9 and 9 is my 'dead' state.

Now I can relate to both 3w4 and 8 of some wings. Ambitions and power are what define me as much as spirituality and believes do. So it's pretty hard to pin down (or this might be just my Ne-ness) My tritype is the solution master (either 385 or 835 with 5w4 as a last fix)

So can you help me?

I can relate to 3w4:
- I am quite image conscious. I know what I must do to gain access to leadership and further to gain access to valuable allies or friends. All to further my goals.
- I love admiration yet I love criticism. I want to be perfect and precise.
- I don't know if this is 3 things, but I never care much about my appearance. Image I try to project is the image of my true self (intelligence, spirituality, priestliness, cunning, power and leadership) All of which have nothing to do with appearance.
- From above, I see them as a symbolic interpretation of myself. They are me.
- I care about how people perceive me and can be quite sensitive.

I can relate to 8w9
- I waffle between inwardness, passivity, compliance and defiance, aggressiveness, outwardness.
- Emotions are not my expertise, and I tend to suppress them at times. Despite being feeling type.
- I will never ever go down without a fight. Yet I am not aggressively butting head. Most of the time, I react calmly. 
- There are some sort of nervous energy I hold. Like a ... suppressed energy. Calm yet possessing high energy. Speak softly and harshly in the same sentences. Defiant in compliant way or vice versa
- I hate anybody imposing power on me, I am the one with power not vice versa.
- It's either me leading or pulling strings or I leave.
- Unless people earn my respect, I won't compromise. 
- I have reformer streak inside of me, I want to control and change the world. To certain extent.

To both
- I am on the more 'hardcore competence, ambitious' side of Enfp scale. And it applies to 3 and 8 emotional suppression in favour of strategic thinking.
- Ambitious
- Control-seeking
- Independent
- Sort of go-getter Achiever

Not to both
- Tender-hearted and sensitive (yet hard-nosed and strategic)
- Spiritual and priestly

I can relate to some characters like Elizabeth I, Isabella of Castille, Genghis Khan, Lozen and more fictional ones like Melisandre, Jaqen H'ghar, William Wallace. By 'relate' I mean, I understand their thinking and I'd have done so the same should I stay in the same position with them. 

My instinctual variants stack is So/Sx

If anything I wrote here looks like other enneagram entirely, tell me.


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## SolMoon (Oct 4, 2018)

Belledonna said:


> ...
> - I don't know if this is 3 things, but I never care much about my appearance. Image I try to project is the image of my true self (intelligence, spirituality, priestliness, cunning, power and leadership) All of which have nothing to do with appearance.
> ...


3s care about physical appearance very much. This sounds like an 8 thing. Most if not all of what you wrote for 3w4 can be true for 8s as well.

---

Btw a difference between 3s and 8s is that 3s like to comply to rules, or break them if they don't like them, but don't like creating them. 8s on the other hand want to create rules to be sure they are 'safe', and hate complying to someone else rules (even though they may comply when they are dominated - when the one with the rules is stronger).



Belledonna said:


> Tender-hearted and sensitive (yet hard-nosed and strategic)


This can be true for 8s, they are sensitive even if they don't admit it, and they are tender-hearted when they move towards integration.

All in all I think you are an 8. You may have a 7 wing if you think you might be a 3, but that's just a guess.


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## Belledonna (Mar 7, 2018)

SolMoon said:


> 3s care about physical appearance very much. This sounds like an 8 thing. Most if not all of what you wrote for 3w4 can be true for 8s as well.
> 
> ---
> 
> ...


I think you are right.

I just discussed this over with an 8w9 and I think I am an 8 instead. My image focus is rather low compare to other 3s. And, though I care about people, it's not really the case. I don't do to please people, but to please myself how I wish it to be. 

About rules, yep. I enjoy rules I can control and willing to break if it slips any holes. If necessary. And quotes on complying, you just wrote out my life!! I hate complying to someone else's rule but do so if necessary to avoid potential conflicts (it's tiring) And usually I react passively rather than head on aggression. I just don't have 8w7 zeal...

But I think I am wing 9. The 8w9 I talked to happen to know enneagram stuffs. Talking to him helps me realize that I am more "Power for peace!" than "Power for power and more power!". Si vis pacem, para bellum.

Thanks for your response!


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