# A Real Man.



## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

a male who has reached physical and psychological maturity. emphasis on the latter, it's not something that happens automatically


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## Jetsune Lobos (Apr 23, 2012)

noteworthy said:


> A real man: An organism that has proven itself to be of good character-through maturity, honesty, compassion, or other positive qualities- and identifies as a male.



What an incredibly vague set of things to list off.

What actions dictate a man to be mature? 

One side of a coin could read that it means to have a stark set of unshakable values, an austere sense of faith and devotion towards some simplified concept. While the other side could just as easily read that true maturity is the freedom from the notion that one needs to have a strict set of moralistic values and a narrowed resolve, and should rather keep an open and critical scope to all of the possibilities.

What gives a person their honesty? And when they have it, would a single white lie completely relinquish them of it?

What kind of passion should one be filtering out and seeking here? Is passion to serve your fellow man, even if it involves the gradual seclusion and alienation from your own race? Or is _real_ compassion simply playing the role that nature has carved out for you by serving your spouse faithfully and any offspring that result from said coupling?

This is why vague as fuck labels shouldn't be used, because it obscures the real meaning behind what a person is trying to say, and almost always purposefully at that. 

And that's most likely because on some level, they know their 'idea' of a _Man_ is just a bunch of contrived, generalized horseshit.


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## ajackson17 (Sep 6, 2012)

Its a vague phrase a lot of women want to impose on men. Sounds like manipulation and control.


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## noteworthy (Feb 6, 2013)

@Zippy BawBaw When I first read your post I was thinking, maybe you missed my point that the definition was supposed to be vague as possible and tongue-in-cheek, as I find the whole notion of a 'real man' to be ridiculous but then I realized I left out the word human in my first post so it was really confusing. Sorry about that. It was supposed to say "A real man: An organism that has proven itself to be human through good character- demonstrated through maturity, honesty, compassion, or other positive qualities- and identifies as a male. So my original point was really real man=human that identifies as male. The vague things in the middle were supposed to be characteristics of humans in general.
I meant them to be vague because humans are diverse but it's probably better to list things that would strip a person of their humanity because that would be a much shorter list. 
But going back to the OP's topic, I think the best definition of a real man would be 'a man that exists outside works of fiction'.
Why didn't I think of that at first?


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## Issmene (Jun 8, 2012)

I dislike the use of real. Does the term 'real man' imply that 'fake men' exist or something? What is that supposed to mean? And how do random good/preferred characteristics (like being mature, caring, strong, whatever) combine with/define being a man, a 'real man'? I think a real man is someone who identifies as a man, which in my opinion shouldn't have anything to do with certain characteristics, because, it seems, in that way, people are linking these characteristics with (society's current view on) masculinity, which doesn't have anything to do with how real or good or whatever someone is.


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## QueCueYew (Aug 20, 2010)

I believe Les Stroud qualifies as a real man. Or maybe a man's man is more accurate, like that one guy from that one commercial where he doesn't always but when he does he ends up always being the suave dude everyone wants to be. Yes.


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## Eos_Machai (Feb 3, 2013)

A "real man" sounds like an ideal to me. And ideals tend to pervert and oppress, by making people want to be something they are not.


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## King of Cynics (Feb 6, 2013)

An idealistic notion. Something that exists only in abstract thought, or in fantasy.


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## dizzycactus (Sep 9, 2012)

A man does not have to do or be anything to justify his own sex. That's just shaming language. 

You can judge men by your own criteria, and decide one is a better person than the other, but they still are all men, regardless.


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

No specific traits in relation to the person being a man.

l hate the "real man" thing, it just makes gender boxes more rigid, You wonder why so many people don't think fit into either of these boxes now, hurrr durrr.

BUT, there is such thing as a person of either sex being a loser lol. Sounds like what your mother is hinting, l consider anyone who is not dependent on others (unless disabled or for a short period of time) to not be a loser.


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

Candid Apple said:


> I believe Les Stroud qualifies as a real man. Or maybe a man's man is more accurate, like that one guy from that one commercial where he doesn't always but when he does he ends up always being the suave dude everyone wants to be. Yes.


l don't_ ALWAYS_ finish my sentences...


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## Dracarys (Dec 31, 2012)

Zippity Boppity Doop Dap said:


> No specific traits in relation to the person being a man.
> 
> l hate the "real man" thing, it just makes gender boxes more rigid, You wonder why so many people don't think fit into either of these boxes now, hurrr durrr.
> 
> BUT, there is such thing as a person of either sex being a loser lol. Sounds like what your mother is hinting, l consider anyone who is not dependent on others (unless disabled or for a short period of time) to not be a loser.


I like this answer the best.


P.S. - I made that bit up about my mother. I wanted to show you guys what I meant though because I do hear that said often just not to me.


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

MyPrecious said:


> I like this answer the best.
> 
> 
> P.S. - I made that bit up about my mother. I wanted to show you guys what I meant though because I do hear that said often just not to me.


lol l am such a sucker. EVERY TIME xD punk ass triflin menz


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## Hunger (Jul 21, 2011)

MyPrecious said:


> What do you consider a "real man"?
> 
> Scenario:
> My mother: "Tsk, really? Him? Why don't you get yourself a real man not these triflin' ass bitches you hang out with."
> ...


Let's break the term "real man" down.

Real implies, honest, sincere, genuine, not pretending or following some fad or trend. Real means that you are in touch with yourself, you are human & you are your own being.

Man implies masculinity, a man who is not afraid to be a man, who isn't ashamed of his gender but embraces it. Masculinity implies traits such as provider, protector, warrior, king, adventurer, builder. It implies assertive & ambitious energy. It implies someone who physically works hard & fights even harder to protect & sustain to maintain his rights/family/children/lover/etc, someone who's not afraid to get his hands dirty & play rough. It also implies more testosterone & therefore greater sensual & sexual energy, more stamina, more kick, more punch. Men who are in touch with their masculinity are often Alpha kinds.

Now throw those two together & you have your idealist's vision of what a "real man" is. Fortunately society doesn't require real men any more, infact modern society doesn't require gender at all, nor does it require "real". Soon we'll be able to produce babies in labs & all sorts of scientific wonders. We have merged into a more practical vision, a sense of oneness with each other. There is no more yin and yang. You're mom possess an out dated & somewhat primitive mindset, she belongs in the past along with everyone else who thinks like her. Anyway society doesn't require you to think, so please stop overthinking things, just accept that the times are changing & barrier that is gender will soon be broken. Just accept & be at peace with those who still hold onto primitive ideals, for they do not see the grand vision of universal oneness, they do not see beyond the barriers of gender & real.


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## Hunger (Jul 21, 2011)

Eos_Machai said:


> A "real man" sounds like an ideal to me. And ideals tend to pervert and oppress, by making people want to be something they are not.


Would this not then imply that they already are? & that there is then no change of them becoming? Is it not also logical to assume that the denial of an ideal is simply the rigidity & small-mindedness of one's own ideal or the lack thereof? Or perhaps one could argue that the opposing of an ideal is the defence of one's unwillingness or laziness in becoming more than one is. Are we not all in the constant state of becoming & unbecoming? & furthermore who are we to decide who we are & who we aren't & where the limits of our capabilities lie?


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## Eos_Machai (Feb 3, 2013)

Gypsy said:


> Would this not then imply that they already are? & that there is then no change of them becoming? Is it not also logical to assume that the denial of an ideal is simply the rigidity & small-mindedness of one's own ideal or the lack thereof? Or perhaps one could argue that the opposing of an ideal is the defence of one's unwillingness or laziness in becoming more than one is. Are we not all in the constant state of becoming & unbecoming? & furthermore who are we to decide who we are & who we aren't & where the limits of our capabilities lie?



I believe that everyone's kinda got their own inner ideal, a positive potentiality that exist according to human nature and individual nature.

But I think that external, culturals ideals are of a different kind and tend to advance a development that is not necessarily affirming to our humanity and individuality. I don't think we had various gender ideal throughout history because it has been the best for the individuals but rather because it supported some social needs.

Not necessarily anything wrong with that. I'm not anti-social. Sociality is a central part of our nature but I think that society should harmonize with the individuals but so has not been the case because throughout (written) history human society has been a society of class and sex oppression and exploitation. Humanity have been divided into superiors and inferiors, exploiters and exploited, men and women.


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## donkeybals (Jan 13, 2011)

I don't like the phrasing, real man, to be honest. I prefer terms like loyalty, bravery, kindness, etc. The opposing gender can also posses these qualities and "real man" is just gender specific. I know typically, the man is suppose to be stronger in the relationship, but I also think the female should do her best to be strong also. However, when the girl is at a weak period, I think the man should always have the defaulted responsibility.


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