# How can you distinguish social awkwardness from introversion?



## itsme45 (Jun 8, 2012)

Spades said:


> He also _does_ mention (at the end of Chapter 10?) that the majority of people belong to a "third category" which combines elements of introversion and extroversion. Perhaps a sentence in that massive amount of text; that's Ti for ya.


Now if it was dominant Ti it should've been able to emphasize such important issues better.




TreasureTower said:


> I do to; it's usually when I'm really nervous and I either say something incredibly inappropriate or I just don't know when to shut up; sometimes I sound just like the energizer bunny.


That bolded sentence I quoted from you 

If you want, write down some of the inappropriate stuff. 

Btw I had social anxiety at one point as a teenager but my reaction was the opposite to yours, I would just simply not say or do anything. Different from how I was before the issue started. Got past this social anxiety since then, though. (I just decided one day that I didn't want this, it wasn't me, I wasn't willing to put up with it and that's when I started fixing it)


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

<.< moar input on this plz. I was a very long time (more then 10 years) sufferer of Dysthimia and Social anxiety, initially very shy as well. One major problem still persists: I depend too much on other people's opinion. Going to crush this before the year is out thou.

The problem with I-E is that I don't gain energy from alone time nor from being with others. Quite frankly both can and will drain / depress me. I gain energy through discussing ideas, troubleshooting or through thinking about ideas, troubleshooting / problem solving alone. I always have to share any new discovery and then talk about it with someone else, its like a compulsion, but I detest socializing for the sake of it.

Interest and boredom seems to dictate my energetical state more then anything. I can be the energizer bunny if interested or boring/depressed and uncomunicative if I don't find something or someone nteresting. Its like a on-off switch and I'm socially awkward. I don't understand how others relate to me and worry constantly about failing socially, weary of strangers etc..

Socionics dichotomies point towards ENTp-ILE as my type, but MBTI and Big5 sais INFP, I test INFp even in socionics...BUT something is off, I'm not like the other INFPs.

Currently trying to figure it out through Model - A. I have a gut feeling, must follow.


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## KraChZiMan (Mar 23, 2013)

Extroverts *CAN BE* socially awkward. Social awkwardness *IS NOT EXCLUSIVELY* pre-packaged to affect introverts only. I know couple of extroverts personally that are even more socially awkward than the introvert me. Extroverts have another reasons to be socially awkward, like being afraid that their freedom of taking action or speaking out loud is being limited by a bunch of evil and heartless introvert bastards. Extroverts are socially awkward almost like American Idol contestants are afraid of Simon Cowell & co.

Introversion is simply that you prefer to sink in all the information and analyse it from within. Introverts are like the cavemen who sit in their caves and they get delivered the boxes of information, which they receive from a postman and after the postman is gone, they get right to it, unwrap it, make sure what is this and only then digest it. Extroversion means that you prefer to analyse the information directly from the source and let it sink in afterwards, when it's all digested. Extroversion is like eating information and puking it, and only later when you eat your own puke of information, you'll truly reflect on it when it's digesting in you. But when you choose not to digest your puked out information, what others see are just "acting out craziness" or "doing before thinking".


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## reckful (Jun 19, 2012)

KraChZiMan said:


> Extroversion is like eating information and puking it, and only later when you eat your own puke of information, you'll truly reflect on it when it's digesting in you. But when you choose not to digest your puked out information, what others see are just "acting out craziness" or "doing before thinking".


Jung explained that the dominant function, although not entirely removed from the unconscious, is mostly under the subject's conscious control.

So, for an extravert, extraversion would be more like spitting than puking, IMHO.

The uncontrolled, unconscious extraversion of an introvert is more like puking, which is why introverts get invited to fewer parties.


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## Dedication (Jun 11, 2013)

reckful said:


> Jung explained that the dominant function, although not entirely removed from the unconscious, is mostly under the subject's conscious control.
> 
> So, for an extravert, extraversion would be more like spitting than puking, IMHO.
> 
> The uncontrolled, unconscious extraversion of an introvert is more like puking, *which is why introverts get invited to fewer parties.*


I would like to disagree with your very last line, or at least I don't see the connection that you're making.


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## reckful (Jun 19, 2012)

Dedication said:


> I would like to disagree with your very last line, or at least I don't see the connection that you're making.


I was not making any serious connection.


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## zinnia (Jul 22, 2013)

reckful said:


> So, for an extravert, extraversion would be more like spitting than puking, IMHO.
> 
> The uncontrolled, unconscious extraversion of an introvert is more like puking, which is why introverts get invited to fewer parties.


Ha. I find I am to myself 99% of the time and then suddenly I lose it, just start spewing out stuff nobody knew was even possible for me, and then back to quiet.

It is like puking.

But I do get invited to parties because I will end up saying things nobody else wants to admit. People find it amusing. Sigh.

@_FreeBeer_: that sounds like extraverted intuition to my understanding. The focus on ideas and wanting to share them, as well as focusing on new discoveries and interest/boredom... but you've been around here far longer than I have so maybe I am missing the whole picture. =/


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## Kabosu (Mar 31, 2012)

If you challenge an extravert to look inside and be focused on that for awhile, it feels laborious.
If you challenge an introvert to look for extended periods on the outside, they probably get overwhelmed.

I can be a shy extravert at time but others might be better at describing how it makes me look.


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## Chesire Tower (Jan 19, 2013)

atypeofuser said:


> If you challenge an extravert to look inside and be focused on that for awhile, it feels laborious.
> If you challenge an introvert to look for extended periods on the outside, they probably get overwhelmed.
> 
> I can be a shy extravert at time but others might be better at describing how it makes me look.


Do you mean cognitively or socially?

I prefer to spend time alone but I really enjoy analyzing people, places and situations, etc.



itsme45 said:


> TreasureTower said:
> 
> 
> > I do to; it's usually when I'm really nervous and I either say something incredibly inappropriate or I just don't know when to shut up; sometimes I sound just like the energizer bunny.
> ...


I'm flattered?


:kitteh:



zinnia said:


> Ha. I find I am to myself 99% of the time and then suddenly I lose it, just start spewing out stuff nobody knew was even possible for me, and then back to quiet.


Well, first off, I totally relate to this! I sometimes think, that people wish that they could shoot me with a tranquilizer gun when I do that.



itsme45 said:


> If you want, write down some of the inappropriate stuff.


Oh okay. Well, once at university, this guy was really in to me and I just felt extremely confused, flattered and kept on saying all of the extraneous things, making me sound like a complete idiot. He just gave me this "are you for real" kind of look and abruptly got up and walked away. I also used to stutter and stammer something awful. I considered speech therapy but figured out how to do it on my own, lower my register and not speak while I think.


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## Ember (Feb 11, 2012)

FreeBeer said:


> <.< moar input on this plz. I was a very long time (more then 10 years) sufferer of Dysthimia and Social anxiety, initially very shy as well. One major problem still persists: I depend too much on other people's opinion. Going to crush this before the year is out thou.
> 
> The problem with I-E is that I don't gain energy from alone time nor from being with others. Quite frankly both can and will drain / depress me. I gain energy through discussing ideas, troubleshooting or through thinking about ideas, troubleshooting / problem solving alone. I always have to share any new discovery and then talk about it with someone else, its like a compulsion, but I detest socializing for the sake of it.
> 
> ...


I should keep track of you. What you said applies to me very much. You can see how I score in my signature. It's really crazy. Have you taken this test? http://personalitycafe.com/cognitive-functions/142053-sensing-vs-intuition.html what did you get?


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## idoh (Oct 24, 2013)

well introverts and extroverts both socialize because if you don't then you are antisocial :happy: the difference is that introverts have a smaller social drive... maybe after a few hours they are done and ready to go! whereas extroverts could be talking all the time, even once they get tired they will talk about how tired they are. and if you are socially awkward it just means you are afraid to go out and talk, which is a completely different topic and can happen to anyone!


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## Judson Joist (Oct 25, 2013)

I'm an introvert _*and*_ I'm socially awkward, but I love mixing and sharing energy with other people, especially when I'm manic.
:kitteh::crazy:


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

Angst said:


> I should keep track of you. What you said applies to me very much. You can see how I score in my signature. It's really crazy. Have you taken this test? http://personalitycafe.com/cognitive-functions/142053-sensing-vs-intuition.html what did you get?


Couldn't find an old one, idk if I tested before, but here is a new one: Social | 3D Psyche



idoh said:


> well introverts and extroverts both socialize because if you don't then you are antisocial :happy: the difference is that introverts have a smaller social drive... maybe after a few hours they are done and ready to go! whereas extroverts could be talking all the time, even once they get tired they will talk about how tired they are. and if you are socially awkward it just means you are afraid to go out and talk, which is a completely different topic and can happen to anyone!


antisocial means this: _Hostile to or disruptive of the established social order; marked by or engaging in behavior that violates accepted mores: gangs engaging in vandalism and other antisocial behavior._

<.< now while I may consider some of the social norms rather pointless and odd / not worth investing effort into compliance...I'm pretty sure I'm not actively working against society or the common good.

..now I had social anxiety and overcame it. Nowadays I'm kind of relaxed around people and only rarely get nervous enough to not interact (one can't fully break the instinctual fear pattern in any permanent way thou once it has been established as a well formed neural pathway) :\ but I'm still socially awkward and i still don't see the point in socializing for the sake of socializing. 

I understand ppl sharing a certain hobby, getting together and doing /talking about that activity or related topics or just simply debating and throwing ideas around....but to talk about the weather, neighbors and pointless day to day stuff is too boring imo. I don't get these ppl......*.how can they stand the pain of boredom?*

I NEED to THINK, to FEEL, to EXPERIENCE NEW THINGS. Going out into the woods and staying there longer with me exhausting the possibilities of interesting experience around half way turns the rest of the time spent there into a NIGHTMARE of boredom.


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## idoh (Oct 24, 2013)

idoh said:


> well introverts and extroverts both socialize because if you don't then you are antisocial :happy: the difference is that introverts have a smaller social drive... maybe after a few hours they are done and ready to go! whereas extroverts could be talking all the time, even once they get tired they will talk about how tired they are. and if you are socially awkward it just means you are afraid to go out and talk, which is a completely different topic and can happen to anyone!





FreeBeer said:


> Couldn't find an old one, idk if I tested before, but here is a new one: Social | 3D Psyche
> 
> 
> 
> ...


aww well going off of google definition is:

_*2.* not sociable; not wanting the company of others.

_which pretty much sounds like you... i think you have just been hanging around the wrong type of people. maybe you are just too smart for them? or you should just find similar minded people who also want to live on the edge but that sounds a little scary to me :tongue:


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## Chesire Tower (Jan 19, 2013)

Angst said:


> I should keep track of you. What you said applies to me very much. You can see how I score in my signature. It's really crazy. Have you taken this test? http://personalitycafe.com/cognitive-functions/142053-sensing-vs-intuition.html what did you get?


ExistentialExistencial | 3D Psyche


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

Social awkwardness in the Jungian sense is really more of a vampire thing. 
lt applies to werewolves in some cases, but the descriptions are not synonymous and shouldn't be treated as such.


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

idoh said:


> aww well going off of google definition is:
> 
> _*2.* not sociable; not wanting the company of others.
> 
> _which pretty much sounds like you... i think you have just been hanging around the wrong type of people. maybe you are just too smart for them? or you should just find similar minded people who also want to live on the edge but that sounds a little scary to me :tongue:


\ o / yeah find ppl with the same hobbies and interests, that is how socializing is done! XD

o.o interesting, why you'd find that extreme and scary? <.<...>.> i'm getting a feeling i wasn't properly understood. What is scary and "on the edge" about this?

...also thx for duh compliment...heheheh


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## Judson Joist (Oct 25, 2013)

FreeBeer said:


>


Maria McMorbid from deviantART. Her style is so Slave Labor Graphics.
roud:


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## Kabosu (Mar 31, 2012)

TreasureTower said:


> I prefer to spend time alone but I really enjoy analyzing people, places and situations, etc.


I was mostly pulling from cognitive introversion/extraversion. Well, I think Ni is supposed to makes its connections from people, places and situations and that they usually would rather observe those things than be part of it.


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## itsme45 (Jun 8, 2012)

FreeBeer said:


> The problem with I-E is that I don't gain energy from alone time nor from being with others. Quite frankly both can and will drain / depress me.


The same for me, depending...




> Interest and boredom seems to dictate my energetical state more then anything. I can be the energizer bunny if interested or boring/depressed and uncomunicative if I don't find something or someone nteresting. Its like a on-off switch and I'm socially awkward. I don't understand how others relate to me and worry constantly about failing socially, weary of strangers etc..


A bit similar energy pattern to mine. I just don't know on exactly what it depends for me, I'm not so terribly dependent on avoiding feeling of boredom. (Are you sure you aren't a 7 in Enneagram?)
Maybe I can actually put this into words though, I think it's dependent on what I'm motivated to do. If I'm motivated for something then I'll do a lot and if not then nothing. 




> BUT something is off, I'm not like the other INFPs.


Not touchy-feely enough or what? 




KraChZiMan said:


> Extroverts *CAN BE* socially awkward. Social awkwardness *IS NOT EXCLUSIVELY* pre-packaged to affect introverts only. I know couple of extroverts personally that are even more socially awkward than the introvert me. Extroverts have another reasons to be socially awkward, like being afraid that their freedom of taking action or speaking out loud is being limited by a bunch of evil and heartless introvert bastards. Extroverts are socially awkward almost like American Idol contestants are afraid of Simon Cowell & co.


Haha well put.




> Introversion is simply that you prefer to sink in all the information and analyse it from within. Introverts are like the cavemen who sit in their caves and they get delivered the boxes of information, which they receive from a postman and after the postman is gone, they get right to it, unwrap it, make sure what is this and only then digest it. Extroversion means that you prefer to analyse the information directly from the source and let it sink in afterwards, when it's all digested. Extroversion is like eating information and puking it, and only later when you eat your own puke of information, you'll truly reflect on it when it's digesting in you. But when you choose not to digest your puked out information, what others see are just "acting out craziness" or "doing before thinking".


What is it if others see you overanalysing?




TreasureTower said:


> I'm flattered?
> 
> :kitteh:


My original point wasn't so much about that but hey yeah let's make it flattering. 




> Oh okay. Well, once at university, this guy was really in to me and I just felt extremely confused, flattered and kept on saying all of the extraneous things, making me sound like a complete idiot. He just gave me this "are you for real" kind of look and abruptly got up and walked away. I also used to stutter and stammer something awful. I considered speech therapy but figured out how to do it on my own, lower my register and not speak while I think.


What an idiot he must've been. Nice though about how you figured it out instead of going to (speech) therapy.




FreeBeer said:


> Couldn't find an old one, idk if I tested before, but here is a new one: Social | 3D Psyche


That test any good then? Sounds like IEE maybe? 




> I understand ppl sharing a certain hobby, getting together and doing /talking about that activity or related topics or just simply debating and throwing ideas around....but to talk about the weather, neighbors and pointless day to day stuff is too boring imo. I don't get these ppl......*.how can they stand the pain of boredom?*
> 
> I NEED to THINK, to FEEL, to EXPERIENCE NEW THINGS. Going out into the woods and staying there longer with me exhausting the possibilities of interesting experience around half way turns the rest of the time spent there into a NIGHTMARE of boredom.


So what kind of possibilities would you find in the woods that will run dry half way?


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

itsme45 said:


> (Are you sure you aren't a 7 in Enneagram?)
> Maybe I can actually put this into words though, I think it's dependent on what I'm motivated to do. If I'm motivated for something then I'll do a lot and if not then nothing.
> 
> Not touchy-feely enough or what?


*:\ neh I have more of an:* "I get it, I may not actually feel your pain, but I get it. Here is how we can fix it *insert solution*.  don't worry everything is fixable!"

I don't do the whole emotional comforting part..meh (to some degree that is scary and awkward imo). No but I'm ID-ish 6w7.


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## itsme45 (Jun 8, 2012)

FreeBeer said:


> *:\ neh I have more of an:* "I get it, I may not actually feel your pain, but I get it. Here is how we can fix it *insert solution*.  don't worry everything is fixable!"
> 
> I don't do the whole emotional comforting part..meh (to some degree that is scary and awkward imo). No but I'm ID-ish 6w7.


Why not 7w6???

But seriously. What's an ID-ish 6? Lol.


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## girasole (Dec 3, 2012)

TreasureTower said:


> I understand that in JCFs, introversion is defined, based on where you get your energy from and I do _understand_ the difference between a shy extrovert and an introvert but what, if someone views themselves as an introvert, based on preferring their own company; _due_ to the extreme stress of social awkwardness.
> 
> Dissuss.


I have the problem of being introverted and seeing little point in small talk (and being freaking horrible at it) but being mistaken for shy. Actually, I feel like it's more mistaken that I don't like the person I'm talking to I try sooooo hard to come up with things to say in small talk but I just don't find the weather either interesting or noteworthy:/


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## iloveusarita (Nov 9, 2013)

I don't think social awkwardness is psychologically valid IMO. If one is shy, then of course this should be a problem. But social awkwardness to me is just what others to say to people they feel uncomfortable around to make themselves feel better.

I am reserved and in honesty don't say much in social setings. However, I am not shy, and will readily speak with strangers when needs be. It's just that my mind goes blank and I can't think of things to say. not because I am fearful, but it's just how my mind works. Maybe it's because I'm an INTP, in that my mind works "inwards" instead of projecting to others, I don't know.


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## juliette_xo (Nov 9, 2013)

I think the difference is that people who are socially awkward may CRAVE social interaction, where as introverts are alone by choice.
Intraverted people are not 'awkward' as such, in fact, they are just as able as extraverted people to be so ail it's just they prefer to be alone, just like extraverted people are able to be alone, but they prefer to be around people.
Socially awkward people don't have much of a choice, whether they are intraverted or extraverted, they are awkward around people, in other words, they don't have much of a choice.


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

itsme45 said:


> Why not 7w6???
> 
> But seriously. What's an ID-ish 6? Lol.


Because my core worldview distortion is that of a 6 not a 7. I want safety and security and am willing to go to some rather extreme measures to assure that i have safety and security. Avoiding boredome is a secondary thing compared to that, but still important.

I can't deal with staying away from civilization for example. I need internet connection, hell I only feel okay if I have acess to a computer, digital camera, english plumbing...TECHNOLOGY...and through it other people, information, entertainment and the rest of the world. I would not be able to contend myself just with safety and security...there is a minimal lifestyle that I need to have otherwise I go crazy.

For me this is strongly IT related, I grew up with technology around me and entertainment, acess to culture: my own and that of other people.

I found this 7-ish side of me came out strongly today when we visited what i'd call a rather isolated and primitive side f the country and I realized today that I want out...the people here suck, the culture sucks and I'm very bored / annoyed / scared that I'll get stuck here and not in a more major cultural capitol in Europe.

A week long "cabin in the woods" excursion for me is 2 days fun and 5 days absolute torture and boredome.

*I basically went to a backwards ass town in the middle of nowhhere where the vilage drunkard threatened to tear my ear off with some rusty old pliers...>.> ...dafuck....*facepalm* I had to eat shitty food that looked like vomit (literally) in order to not be percieved as rude, there were drunk ppl, they smelled -.- like several barns full of animal shit.*


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## Brian1 (May 7, 2011)

I'm socially awkward,but I get energized by my clumsiness around other people. A T being around an F, is just an accident waiting to happen. So, I've put my foot in my mouth, once or twice, ten times...a lot.


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## itsme45 (Jun 8, 2012)

iloveusarita said:


> I don't think social awkwardness is psychologically valid IMO. If one is shy, then of course this should be a problem. But social awkwardness to me is just what others to say to people they feel uncomfortable around to make themselves feel better.


Please elaborate as to how it makes one feel better?? :O




FreeBeer said:


> Because my core worldview distortion is that of a 6 not a 7. I want safety and security and am willing to go to some rather extreme measures to assure that i have safety and security. Avoiding boredome is a secondary thing compared to that, but still important.


Alright...




> I can't deal with staying away from civilization for example. I need internet connection, hell I only feel okay if I have acess to a computer, digital camera, english plumbing...TECHNOLOGY...and through it other people, information, entertainment and the rest of the world. I would not be able to contend myself just with safety and security...there is a minimal lifestyle that I need to have otherwise I go crazy.
> 
> For me this is strongly IT related, I grew up with technology around me and entertainment, acess to culture: my own and that of other people.


Lol interesting...I also like IT and got deep into some areas of it I'm but not so dependent on it as you are.




> I found this 7-ish side of me came out strongly today when we visited what i'd call a rather isolated and primitive side f the country and I realized today that I want out...the people here suck, the culture sucks and I'm very bored / annoyed / scared that I'll get stuck here and not in a more major cultural capitol in Europe.


Yeah I wouldn't want to live in the middle of nowhere. Just no opportunities, no nothing.


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## iloveusarita (Nov 9, 2013)

er.. because they presume that others owe them their time. Nobody does, nor anything else for that matter.

If somebody is reserved, it's because they are tired, it's how they are, they don't like the conversation topic at hand, or they don't like you. Nobody has to like others.


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