# Sex and the INFJ



## GreenCoyote

Zalithian said:


> I have not had sex in 5 years. It doesn't really bother me, not doing it. I mean I'd love to have sex again. It's great, but I haven't really been close enough to anyone since then that we've done it. When I do get close enough to a girl again, well - she won't be needing to seek sex elsewhere.


DANGGG!!!!!

five years?
whoa.
hold the phone.
at least you masturbate right?

sex is good friend.
gotta get it. get it. get it.


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## Navis Amoris

Like some other people have mentioned; once I'm married it's go time. Still a virgin now (religious reasons), but as you all know men experiment with themselves, so I have a pretty good grasp of how strong my libido is. Let's just say the girl behind the counter's jaw dropped when I told her how many condoms I wanted. :mellow: I'm in a long distance relationship so I'll have to squeeze a year's worth of sex into 7 weeks, as well as making up for the last 4 years.

I don't think I'll be seeing much of the country this time.


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## Wulfdot

vel said:


> creativity … yes … I like … my partner must be able to pain Klimt's Kiss on my stomach using nothing else but two celery stalks, a cup of leftover coffee, and whatever makeup I have lying around to qualify ... we INFJs have high standards in this respect as well roud:


That is quit simple. I will also do it with no hands while tying a cherry stem, using my tongue, into a dinosaur. Interested?


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## Wheelie

All this talk about sex is making me hot! LOL 

lets get to DETAIL!

Are you (INFJ) the one to initiate sex or do you wait for your partner to do it?


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## fillet

I haven't been in any serious relationships before, but I do fantasize that when I'm in one, that I'd love it every morning. Doing it late at night makes me extremely tired the next day :sad:. If that wasn't the case, multiple times a day sounds pretty fun lol.




Willy said:


> All this talk about sex is making me hot! LOL
> 
> lets get to DETAIL!
> 
> Are you (INFJ) the one to initiate sex or do you wait for your partner to do it?


I'd have no problem initiating, seducing is fun. Also I think it would be a turn off if I had a partner that never initiates.


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## INFJGirlie

Willy said:


> All this talk about sex is making me hot! LOL
> 
> lets get to DETAIL!
> 
> Are you (INFJ) the one to initiate sex or do you wait for your partner to do it?


 
Oh no I am not shy with my partner, I always want to explore his body, but his only, my love has my full attention. I love slow sensuous sex to very hard and fast animalistic sex. I love to learn about what my partners fantasies are, and I asked a lot of questions even before we got to the sex. I think INFJ are very sexual, passionate and creative people. We love to please our partners because we see it as just another level of deeper intimacy with them. I do need to feel him in me everyday, and several times a day. I love his penis, I love his body, well I just love everything about him and always want him. I want/need him to make me climax over and over again everyday. I use to think before coming to this forum that I was very different, but hearing from all the other INFJ's about their high drives I don't feel odd anymore.


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## TeeJay

...honestly, if I were married I could think of better things to do than having sex that often... :dry:

Expressing a lot of affection in various ways: yes. This being sex all the time: please no, sounds incredibly boring.


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## INFJGirlie

TeeJay said:


> ...honestly, if I were married I could think of better things to do than having sex that often... :dry:
> 
> Expressing a lot of affection in various ways: yes. This being sex all the time: please no, sounds incredibly boring.


Being in love is never boring sir, it's a gift from God. :laughing:


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## Wheelie

fillet said:


> I haven't been in any serious relationships before, but I do fantasize that when I'm in one, that I'd love it every morning. Doing it late at night makes me extremely tired the next day :sad:. If that wasn't the case, multiple times a day sounds pretty fun lol.
> 
> I'd have no problem initiating, seducing is fun. Also I think it would be a turn off if I had a partner that never initiates.





INFJGirlie said:


> Oh no I am not shy with my partner, I always want to explore his body, but his only, my love has my full attention. I love slow sensuous sex to very hard and fast animalistic sex. I love to learn about what my partners fantasies are, and I asked a lot of questions even before we got to the sex. I think INFJ are very sexual, passionate and creative people. We love to please our partners because we see it as just another level of deeper intimacy with them. I do need to feel him in me everyday, and several times a day. I love his penis, I love his body, well I just love everything about him and always want him. I want/need him to make me climax over and over again everyday. I use to think before coming to this forum that I was very different, but hearing from all the other INFJ's about their high drives I don't feel odd anymore.


Hallelujah!


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## Zomboy

ThatGuitarGuy said:


> I believe sex is sacred and should be shared between two married individuals that love each other deeply and want to express that through sex. Sex bonds people together whether we want to think/believe it or not.


This is what I believe. Well said.



INFJGirlie said:


> There is nothing wrong with being a virgin at all. I am sure there are many people on this broad who have never had sex and there is nothing wrong with that. You will have sex one day, so don't worry or rush yourself until you are ready. Well I have said this before to you, I am not sure you are an INFJ, but perhaps an ENFJ. I know several INFJ's with a history of sexual abuse and it was very hard for them to open up to the possibility to trust enough to give themselves sexually. Touching, to being touched can be almost impossible when you can't trust anyone, for INFJ's trust = Intimacy. It can be worked through but it takes the right partner and a lot of time.


I was sexually abused by both my classmates in elementary school as well as camp counselors in cub scouts. That coupled with all the beatings I've ever been through makes physical contact a no-no. My roommate is a big guy and he tries to give me hugs all the time, but I get scared and jump out of the way. It's my survival reflex, and I don't think I'll ever get rid of it. > <

As for the ENFJ thing... Well, by my stats I could either be ENFJ, ENFP, ENTP, INFP, or INTP (considering E/I, T/F, and J/P are almost even) but out of all the types I've researched, I can identify with INFJ the most. Besides, if that's what the test says, I'll just go with it. Easier that way, no?


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## INFJGirlie

Willy said:


> Hallelujah!


I second that brother Willy!!! LOL


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## INFJGirlie

Zomboy said:


> This is what I believe. Well said.
> 
> 
> 
> I was sexually abused by both my classmates in elementary school as well as camp counselors in cub scouts. That coupled with all the beatings I've ever been through makes physical contact a no-no. My roommate is a big guy and he tries to give me hugs all the time, but I get scared and jump out of the way. It's my survival reflex, and I don't think I'll ever get rid of it. > <
> 
> As for the ENFJ thing... Well, by my stats I could either be ENFJ, ENFP, ENTP, INFP, or INTP (considering E/I, T/F, and J/P are almost even) but out of all the types I've researched, I can identify with INFJ the most. Besides, if that's what the test says, I'll just go with it. Easier that way, no?


 I am so sorry that happen to you. Have you thought about therapy?


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## Zomboy

INFJGirlie said:


> I am so sorry that happen to you. Have you thought about therapy?


I've been through so many psychiatrists and counselors that it just started seeming like a lost cause.

I did send one high school counselor to the looney bin, though. That was fun.


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## Wheelie

Zomboy said:


> I've been through so many psychiatrists and counselors that it just started seeming like a lost cause.
> 
> I did send one high school counselor to the looney bin, though. That was fun.


You need something Psychologist call extinction learning. 

To put in short, you've someone emotionally anchored the stimulus (hugs and physical affection) to PAIN. Im sure your ENFJ friend won't harm you, but take advantage of his hugs and slowly the anxiety and trepidation of physical affection will go away.


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## Unicorntopia

Willy said:


> Are you (INFJ) the one to initiate sex or do you wait for your partner to do it?


I would say I initiate about 33%, partner about 33% and who knows who started it the other 33% of the times!:laughing:


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## TeeJay

INFJGirlie said:


> Being in love is never boring sir, it's a gift from God. :laughing:


Would you agree that being in love is something a lot broader than just having sex :wink: ?


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## NightSkyGirl

Ah, sex. Haven't had it.

Hmm...

Yeah, I really don't have much to contribute, apperantly...

......

Well then, that will be all.

Yup.

Okay, I'm really leaving now.

Gah.


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## Goodewitch

Well, okay, I'll be the first here to say that I'm probably distinctly 'average' in that department, maybe even below average. whatever average is.
I dont wanna hear about his fantasies..(probably end up feeling insecure)
I dont wanna do anything that would result in severe injury, chafing, or needing a chiropractor.
I dont want to wear stupid shit to get him going,..
and vanilla is my only flavour.
There, someone had to be real.
G. x


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## Navis Amoris

Goodewitch said:


> Well, okay, I'll be the first here to say that I'm probably distinctly 'average' in that department, maybe even below average. whatever average is.
> I dont wanna hear about his fantasies..(probably end up feeling insecure)
> I dont wanna do anything that would result in severe injury, chafing, or needing a chiropractor.
> I dont want to wear stupid shit to get him going,..
> and vanilla is my only flavour.
> There, someone had to be real.
> G. x


You seem to be implying that people who have above average sex drives aren't being 'real'? Maybe I'm misunderstanding you.

Anyway, I think the amount of sex I'd want in a relationship really depends on who my partner is. I'm getting married to an ISFP, and because it's difficult for her to understand abstract concepts and analogies (which constitutes about 90% of my thoughts), our connection is a lot more physical than it probably would be if she was, say, INFJ or INTJ. The fact that I'm at my sexual peak and am in a long distance relationship with long periods of not being able to even touch does wonders for the libido too...

Aside from that, the answers given in this discussion are subject to what one considers sex. For some people that's just the penetration phase, and for others it's a whole event that can last hours, including cuddling and talking afterwards.


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## Goodewitch

SLN said:


> You seem to be implying that people who have above average sex drives aren't being 'real'? Maybe I'm misunderstanding you.
> 
> Anyway, I think the amount of sex I'd want in a relationship really depends on who my partner is. I'm getting married to an ISFP, and because it's difficult for her to understand abstract concepts and analogies (which constitutes about 90% of my thoughts), our connection is a lot more physical than it probably would be if she was, say, INFJ or INTJ. The fact that I'm at my sexual peak and am in a long distance relationship with long periods of not being able to even touch does wonders for the libido too...
> 
> Aside from that, the answers given in this discussion are subject to what one considers sex. For some people that's just the penetration phase, and for others it's a whole event that can last hours, including cuddling and talking afterwards.


 No SLN, I was not implyig they arent real. i was implyig that all this 'Oh I have /want sex a trillion times a day' and its all jolly andmarvellous and wonderful,.. is sorta funny to hear, because it always strikes me as if the people are trying to in some way 'brag' about how virile or minxy they are. maybe not so much on this thread, but crtainly in the sex and relationship threads theres a lot of braggarding going on. it just makes me laugh.
I sorta dont get the grandstanding about your sex lives... its something I would'nt have thought INFj would do really, but there ye go, you learn something new every day 
g. x


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## Humilis Curator

I wouldn't say I have a high SEX drive but I have a high drive for honest exchange of emotion and passion with my beloved. For me is it not the physical part, it is the emotional connection and the passion that comes with the physical part, I could care less about getting off physically. I often just like to spend time with my significant other, when I have one, alone and close in the forms of cuddling or just spending a day alone in a quiet place getting that emotional connection, that bond. 

I think a lot of INFJs have a high drive for sex because we are very emotional people, we have a lot of raw emotion just simmering and sex is a time for us to release and let it flow, oh dear me I am making all sort of unintentional innuendos....ANYWAY....back to the topic at hand. As mentioned above we get that chance when we are ALONE(we are introverts and it is a common that we do best one on one or in small groups) with our partner to openly let loose all of our raw powerful emotion(we have Fe as a function so we have a lot of emotion) because of the way we are. Also, if we had just a straight physical sex drive, the ones with such wouldn't mind out of relationship hanky panky but people have mentioned that a relationship is key, a connection to the person EMOTIONALLY. 

However, as the thread has displayed, we are all different, we are all people before we are INFJ so there is of course going to be variation, there are exceptions to every rule. Does not mean either is better then the other, just different and different life experiences that mold them as such to create a different person that is an INFJ or just any type in general because this goes for all types.


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## ENTrePenuer

Of course it was a joke.
How could you possibly misread that?


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## Female INFJ

ENTrePenuer said:


> Of course it was a joke.
> How could you possibly misread that?


ENTrePenuer - thanks for replying - i suppose i had a slight moment of sensitivity! i kind of get into protector mode, and want to look out for my INFJs! not that they need it. but honestly, sometimes it is hard to tell a joke or not! no harm meant. i guess it is kind of hard to communicate some humor in written word - and have it come across clearly...we're cool. say since you are here - do you like INFJs? have you had an INFJ lover? what are ENTPs like? How do they differ from ENTJs? if you care to elaborate...since you are here...


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## myjazz

Talk about a 360 :crazy:


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## vel

ENTrePenuer said:


> Of course it was a joke.
> How could you possibly misread that?


my guess would be because you forgot to make it funny :tongue:


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## ThatGuitarGuy

Oh snap! :tongue:


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## ENTrePenuer

Female INFJ said:


> ENTrePenuer - thanks for replying - i suppose i had a slight moment of sensitivity! i kind of get into protector mode, and want to look out for my INFJs! not that they need it. but honestly, sometimes it is hard to tell a joke or not! no harm meant. i guess it is kind of hard to communicate some humor in written word - and have it come across clearly...we're cool. say since you are here - do you like INFJs? have you had an INFJ lover? what are ENTPs like? How do they differ from ENTJs? if you care to elaborate...since you are here...


I have an INFJ now, she's precious to me.
She loves sex but won't bring it up.

She gets hurt easily and I have to coax it out of her to talk to me.
She trusts me but it's clear that she hates it and doesn't know why.
We're opposites in almost every way except for the N wierdness.
She's nasty in a good way.

oh and her home is her little hideaway.

She comes up with elaborate social scenarios in her head that I find amusing.
She's gentle outside but I suspect if prodded too hard she could be become nasty.
Luckily I know just how hard to prod


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## ENTrePenuer

vel said:


> my guess would be because you forgot to make it funny :tongue:


Wasn't it enough that I said it


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## myjazz

Sounds like you are talking about your pet dog ENTreP.

I think I might like this ENTP style of sense of humor.


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## ENTrePenuer

myjazz said:


> Sounds like you are talking about your pet dog ENTreP.
> 
> I think I might like this ENTP style of sense of humor.


Yeah I think I might keep her.

See?
You never what you might like until you've let me have sex with you.

wait, I mean tried it.


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## Goodewitch

ENTrePenuer said:


> I have an INFJ now, she's precious to me.
> She loves sex but won't bring it up.
> 
> She gets hurt easily and I have to coax it out of her to talk to me.
> She trusts me but it's clear that she hates it and doesn't know why.
> We're opposites in almost every way except for the N wierdness.
> She's nasty in a good way.
> 
> oh and her home is her little hideaway.
> 
> She comes up with elaborate social scenarios in her head that I find amusing.
> She's gentle outside but I suspect if prodded too hard she could be become nasty.
> Luckily I know just how hard to prod


Now who sounds insecure..projecting much?
All in fun of course,..just my lttle joke :tongue:
What you did get right there, was a display of classic INFJ Fe heroism from Female INFJ.
Thank you so much my sister for your support and for defending me. You're right of course , I never took that quip seiously.
But now Im more concerned about ENTrePreneur's little problems that he's having with this INFJ that might at any minute turn feral and bite him.
I would say if shes not interested in talking to you about certain things sexually, then maybe she's not interested in them, and wants you to refrain from pushing either a conversation about it, or the issue itself.
maybe,..she doesnt quite trust you... maybe she wonders why your online persona might be at odds with the face you present to her IRL.
theres a lot of maybes..who can say for sure
G. x


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## ENTrePenuer

You've read her all wrong.
She's nervous because she likes me... alot and she knows that I know it.
She's scared to have sex with me because she likes me alot and seems to think that as soon as I get it I'll leave.
Insecure about the quality of the goods I suspect.

She doesn't know about this website, or any websites i use for that matter.
Unless of course you know something that I don't?
Tell me! I have ways to make you talk.


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## Goodewitch

ENTrePenuer said:


> You've read her all wrong.
> She's nervous because she likes me... alot and she knows that I know it.
> She's scared to have sex with me because she likes me alot and seems to think that as soon as I get it I'll leave.
> Insecure about the quality of the goods I suspect.
> 
> She doesn't know about this website, or any websites i use for that matter.
> Unless of course you know something that I don't?
> Tell me! I have ways to make you talk.


 
Being nervous because she likes you, and reluctant to sleep with you in case you run off straight away, is an INFJ being cautious. Shes just using her head and being clever really. If she's afraid you'll run off that speaks off lack of trust, not insecurity.
If she is indeed nervous about how you'll 'view the goods' I would imagine she has reason to beleive you might have times when you can appear shallow or critical,, even if its a throw away remark about another girl, or an actress on TV or something. Something you say or do in that respect is making her beleive that you have high physical standards for women..be honest now,..its not many young men who can say that they've never passed a judgemental remark about a womans body,..and some are even stupid enough to do it within a gf's hearing. if you've ever been critical of other women in front of her, she's gonna naturally assume you will make the same judgements on her.
You'll find, when someone is comfortable with you, thres no insecurities. You're gonna have to look at your own behaviour to see why she's so wary of trusting you.
Putting verbal pressure on her, or doing that 'confuddling' ENTP thing will not work to your advantage. the more sharp and slick you are, the more wary of you she'll be. You'll be making things worse. I'd back off asking why she wont sleep with you etc etc..let her come to you in her own time. Shes gotta be sure of her decision. If ye cant/wont wait, and wont give her time to know you really are trustworthy, then you may as well find another girl, and save you both some of her 'nasty' side.
G. x
G. x


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## vel

Here's a wild thought - may be this has something to do with her being unable to trust you:



ENTrePenuer said:


> ... right now I'm between three friends and it's trivial to feed each of them peices of information that both makes the other women look like jealous catty man-stealing bitches. They are ISTJ, ESFP, And INFJ respectively. I speak of the bad sides of each to the others and outright lie occasionally to each one as needs be. I will occasionally flirt with one in front of the other in subtle ways to keep them at each others throats. ...


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## Goodewitch

vel said:


> Here's a wild thought - may be this has something to do with her being unable to trust you:


 
Thanks for that Vel, I never saw that thread.. well, 3 girls on the go,.. playing them all off against ecah other..and you wonder why she doesnt trust you?
Oh..you're a bloody joker man..
G. x


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## amanda32

Goodewitch said:


> Thanks for that Vel, I never saw that thread.. well, 3 girls on the go,.. playing them all off against ecah other..and you wonder why she doesnt trust you?
> Oh..you're a bloody joker man..
> G. x


Interesting...this explains why he's so quick to throw around the "slut" word -- because *he *is one.


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## vel

eh, ENTPs .... always trying to get more for less, something for nothing

that's why he's been lurking about our forums - trying to find information to see if he can wear her defenses down and gain her trust
it does sound like she is confused - the moment I see an ETNP start playing stupid games like this that forever puts him into my black list, apparently she has not figured it out yet


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## ENTrePenuer

vel said:


> that's why he's been lurking about our forums - trying to find information to see if he can wear her defenses down and gain her trust


I have to admit, you guys have been a great help, it's great to know how she'll feel about something I do before doing it.


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## ENTrePenuer

but don't confuse the means with the ends, I do like her alot.


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## amanda32

ENTrePenuer said:


> I have to admit, you guys have been a great help, it's great to know how she'll feel about something I do before doing it.


I feel sick to my stomach.


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## vel

ENTrePenuer said:


> I have to admit, you guys have been a great help, it's great to know how she'll feel about something I do before doing it.


I have nothing against ENTP/INFJ relationships as I think both people can grow a lot through it. Just make sure you don't end up hurting her too much in the process.


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## Goodewitch

amanda32 said:


> I feel sick to my stomach.


Oh dont worry Amanda,.. In the big scheme of things.. between an INFJ and an ENTP,.. even if he 'wins'...he loses... :crazy:


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## amanda32

vel said:


> I have nothing against ENTP/INFJ relationships as I think both people can grow a lot through it. Just make sure you don't end up hurting her too much in the process.


Well since he's playing three girls off each other my guess is, the end result won't be good for her.


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## Unicorntopia

ENTrePenuer said:


> but don't confuse the means with the ends, I do like her alot.


It does not matter how much you like her. She can sense you will not be gental with her heart. You may not be able to understand how her heart could be so sensitive since you are most likely in denial of your own. 



ENTrePenuer said:


> I have to admit, you guys have been a great help, it's great to know how she'll feel about something I do before doing it.
> [/quote
> 
> In order to decide whether or not you are being nice to her, you should decide based on how she feels about it and thinks about it, not on how you would feel about it if it happened to you. :bored:


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## vel

amanda32 said:


> Well since he's playing three girls off each other my guess is, the end result won't be good for her.


In which case she will have a chance to learn something from it and not let it happen to her again.
ENTP/INFJ relationships can be very difficult but there is usually huge potential for learning and growth, especially for the INFJ.


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## amanda32

vel said:


> In which case she will have a chance to learn something from it and not let it happen to her again.
> ENTP/INFJ relationships can be very difficult but there is usually huge potential for learning and growth, especially for the INFJ.


And maybe me to, I should thank him for reminding me there are such people in the world.


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## myjazz

I am sorry ENTrep for the confusion the reason my two statement are separate is because they are. 
In another words I wasn't joking about you treating her like a dog. 
You have much to learn about healthy balanced INFJ's. And for the fellow INFJ's and INFP you have to really tune your BS detector's and notice how unbalanced and unhealthy NT's are. 
This is the second time I pointed out ENTrep BS, but one way people can become more balanced is if they learn for themselves......It has been fun watching him around the INFJ forum though


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## amanda32

myjazz said:


> I am sorry ENTrep for the confusion the reason my two statement are separate is because they are.
> In another words I wasn't joking about you treating her like a dog.
> You have much to learn about healthy balanced INFJ's. And for the fellow INFJ's and INFP you have to really tune your BS detector's and notice how unbalanced and unhealthy NT's are.
> This is the second time I pointed out ENTrep BS, but one way people can become more balanced is if they learn for themselves......It has been fun watching him around the INFJ forum though


Thank God for NF men.


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## myjazz

Aw shucks you shouldn't have, B.O.N. A32 :tongue:


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## Unicorntopia

Female INFJ said:


> ENTrePenuer - thanks for replying - i suppose i had a slight moment of sensitivity! i kind of get into protector mode, and want to look out for my INFJs! not that they need it. but honestly, sometimes it is hard to tell a joke or not! no harm meant. i guess it is kind of hard to communicate some humor in written word - and have it come across clearly...we're cool. say since you are here - do you like INFJs? have you had an INFJ lover? what are ENTPs like? How do they differ from ENTJs? if you care to elaborate...since you are here...


 
Female INFJ,

After reading the couple of pages of posts after this one, I have decided that I don't think it was you being too sensitive. I beleive your INFJ insticts were on target. :happy:

And isn't it interesting how your last comment ultimately coherst the truth into light... 

ENTrePenuer, 

You may not want to underestamate your INFJ girlfreind. Check out the Cobra section of "The Many Faces of INFJ" thread.


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## INFJGirlie

ENTrePenuer said:


> I have to admit, you guys have been a great help, it's great to know how she'll feel about something I do before doing it.





ENTrePenuer said:


> but don't confuse the means with the ends, I do like her alot.





amanda32 said:


> I feel sick to my stomach.





Goodewitch said:


> Oh dont worry Amanda,.. In the big scheme of things.. between an INFJ and an ENTP,.. even if he 'wins'...he loses... :crazy:





amanda32 said:


> Well since he's playing three girls off each other my guess is, the end result won't be good for her.


She's an INFJ she'll figure it out and shut you down. In the end you will lose because you''ll have lost her forever. All your two face ways only proves you're a moron to all of us. ENTrePenuer you said "I do like her alot" I don't think you do, because from what you are doing seems like revenge of some sort and it will end badly for you I feel.


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## myjazz

The Cobra is one of my favorite's, and duh I thought everybody knew he wasn't joking just as I wasn't.


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## INFJGirlie

myjazz said:


> The Cobra is one of my favorite's, and duh I thought everybody knew he wasn't joking just as I wasn't.


I have known dogs like him, I can spot his breed a mile a way they smell of BS. LOL


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## Icarus

amanda32 said:


> Thank God for NF men.


lol I was going to say that, well for NF women anyways.
I personally need a NF, other types doen't quite understand?

Side note: Anyone else feel like the protector vibe lol:tongue:


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## myjazz

...................


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## ThatGuitarGuy

I'm realizing more and more that I want an NF woman. I thought the "ideal" would be ENTP for me as it would balance me out, but I'm realizing that NF's think a lot anyways and tickle my theological/philosophical buttons =)


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## amanda32

myjazz said:


> Aw shucks you shouldn't have, B.O.N. A32 :tongue:


B.O.N ?? I don't know what that meeeeans!


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## myjazz

come on ninja girl think.............


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## INFJGirlie

Thank you all for being so open, I found what I was looking for some answers to help me heal, I hope the for all of you and best of luck. Bye:happy:


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## echo

Currently, I have enjoyed one partner exclusively for three years and he has a sexual history similar to mine. We're very compatible and happily enjoy an active and fun sex life.


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## Hokahey

vivacissimamente said:


> For future reference, I volunteer to have sex with as many INFJs as necessary (purely for research purposes)
> 
> All for my love of... uh... science?


I'd volunteer except you would be busy moving from person to person, I don't want just one encounter, that's like the worst tease, like when a woman pretends to put her face in your lap but never does anything that is suggested, meh hate that. Suspense is only good when the end result actually finally happens. Anyways got off track but yeah, once I start again I don't want it to end in one day, almost like a drug once it happens it has to continue for a long time until no longer compatable if that happens. Oh and I like to cuddle and watch movies, sorry I'm picky. LOL....


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## JoetheBull

vivacissimamente said:


> For future reference, I volunteer to have sex with as many INFJs as necessary (purely for research purposes)
> 
> All for my love of... uh... science?


This kind of makes me wish I was an INFJ. But don't think I can give up my INTP personality for one very few remote chances of sex. I have grown too attached to being this personality type:laughing:. Good luck if you choose to go ahead with the experiment.


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## Goodewitch

I think we INFJ's suffer from our image,.. who wants to have sex with Jesus ..or Ghandhi, or Mother Theresa, Or a saint? Except for the occaisional depraved ENTP or INTJ, we seem to be viewed as pretty sexless. meek and mild, and probably like damp squibs sexually.
We really need some seriously sexy INFJ role models to dispel this image problem we have.
Nice guys and Nice Girls always have that semi neutered feel about them.
Its only when ye get past the inital reserve, you see that what ye see, isnt what you get 
x


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## Hokahey

Goodewitch said:


> I think we INFJ's suffer from our image,.. who wants to have sex with Jesus ..or Ghandhi, or Mother Theresa, Or a saint? Except for the occaisional depraved ENTP or INTJ, we seem to be viewed as pretty sexless. meek and mild, and probably like damp squibs sexually.
> We really need some seriously sexy INFJ role models to dispel this image problem we have.
> Nice guys and Nice Girls always have that semi neutered feel about them.
> Its only when ye get past the inital reserve, you see that what ye see, isnt what you get
> x


Definetly agree with this, I've been told by women that I'm "too nice" to date. Like it would be a sin for them to "taint" me in some way even though I am just looking to date. The funny part is knowing how balance works, if we are timid outside, we are wild inside. I agree we need a serously sexy INFJ role model.


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## Goodewitch

mrniceftw said:


> Definetly agree with this, I've been told by women that I'm "too nice" to date. Like it would be a sin for them to "taint" me in some way even though I am just looking to date. The funny part is knowing how balance works, if we are timid outside, we are wild inside. I agree we need a serously sexy INFJ role model.


Ach, God damn it! I've been wracking my brains of all the famous INFJ's , and i cant think of one that I'd say was sexy. Beautiful, yes, pretty, yes, charismatic yes, intense yes, but sexy? Nope.
I'm really trying to think about this now.
I actually have an INTJ freind who confirmed this image of INFJ's to me recently. he did say he views us as meek and mild, lovely people, but lacking in sex appeal or erm..how did he put it? oh yes..he said lacking in 'Badass-ness'.
Now whats on the inside of INFJ's would surprise people, as I'm sure many INFJ's can attest,.. but showing that inner sexuality on the outside does seem tricky for INFJ's.

Edit. regarding trying to be a sexy INFJ.....Jeez, I have to do everything myself, lolz..xx


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## Vaan

yeah its a bit of a problem considering for some reason almost everything i do has to turn someone on even though 99.99% of the time thats the opposite of what i want XD..... how do i get people to stop doing this? needs help because it is rather bothersome


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## SassyPJs24

I'm too sexual for my own good...O


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## amanda32

Goodewitch said:


> Ach, God damn it! I've been wracking my brains of all the famous INFJ's , and i cant think of one that I'd say was sexy. *Beautiful, yes, pretty, yes, charismatic yes, intense yes, but sexy? Nope.*


Charismatic, intense and intelligent ... hm... but NOT sexy?? Whaaat???? What makes "sexy" if not those qualities?? I'm confused!


I've never met anyone sexier than the INFJs I've encountered in real life. I'm not blowing sunshine up INFJs tushes either -- IMHO INFJs are completely and utterly sexy to the point it's bloody brutal and bordering on unfair.

I've no idea what your friend is talking about...


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## Vic

SassyPJs24 said:


> I'm too sexual for my own good...O


This is a conclusion I have reached about INFJs as well.

And I absolutely appreciate it.


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## Oreocat

Well we ENFJ are about as passionate as it gets, unfortunately for this thread though I'm not an INFJ anymore :crazy:


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## Hokahey

amanda32 said:


> Charismatic, intense and intelligent ... hm... but NOT sexy?? Whaaat???? What makes "sexy" if not those qualities?? I'm confused!
> 
> 
> I've never met anyone sexier than the INFJs I've encountered in real life. I'm not blowing sunshine up INFJs tushes either -- IMHO INFJs are completely and utterly sexy to the point it's bloody brutal and bordering on unfair.
> 
> I've no idea what your friend is talking about...


Really??? I mean I know I'm a sexual tiger underneath but that's underneath, usually noone sees that on the surface. Normally I'm just a jeans and t-shirt guy that looks lake any other, always tripping over myself (not literally) but mentally and emotionally. I don't make grand entrances or exits like the "life of the party" guy. 

Btw, bravo Goodewitch for having the courage to become a sexual role model for INFJ's


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## Goodewitch

mrniceftw said:


> Really??? I mean I know I'm a sexual tiger underneath but that's underneath, usually noone sees that on the surface. Normally I'm just a jeans and t-shirt guy that looks lake any other, always tripping over myself (not literally) but mentally and emotionally. I don't make grand entrances or exits like the "life of the party" guy.
> 
> Btw, bravo Goodewitch for having the courage to become a sexual role model for INFJ's


 
Thanks very much MrNiceftw,.. that pic is just a very tongue in cheek bit of sillyness. lets just call it my warped humour.
I was'nt seriously trying to be the poster girl for INFJ smexiness, lol, but hey, I'll take compliments anywhere I can find them 
G.x


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## sea cucumber

@Goodewitch your awsome!! 

I have trouble geting intialy noticed becuase in a room full of SP E and ES types In comarison Im not acting sexy. But then guys that are noticing sex on a plate don't deserve what I have anyway. I only have sex in a relationship never one night stands.
Once they get to know me then Im seen as sexy. My last bloke said I was made of sex:crazy: I just am sex:crazy:
I dont know what that means but I think its good. I think your right about the INFJ to an extent the need for deepness and being on the quieter more introspective side and lack of 'badass' I dont have any 'badass' arn't the steriotype of sexy. 

Although I myslef feel very sexy and sexual Im not noticed comparitivly to other types when in the 'meat market' situations like a club where guys are going to pull. In other repects where Im able to shine more Im lucky I seem to get a lot of atention for being sexy but intialy even in that situation its the INFJness that seems to be the hook and sexy second.

I like my body its hourglass or egg timer shaped very curvy and I have decent boobage I have all the things guys are programed to like. I have to work hard at it but I like to have curves all nice and in check because it makes me feel good. I dont dress or act slutty and I think thats sexier. The thing is I think Im lucky but I hate the atention so I play it down a lot its seems superficial to be sexy. I want guys to want to date me and see if romance happens. Often they seem to like what they see and want a fling so they can say they have had it. when I realy like a guy they seem to like the ESP or SJ types.
So I would say Im a little bit clumsy with my sexyness I have it, but in the atraction phase I dont how to use it or atracts the wrong sort. If I was any good I would have more luck getting the guys I want instead of the guys I don't want


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## s0n1c800m

What's all this talk of illusory innocence and saintly affects? I must have missed that part of the INFJ training. :crazy:
Only complete strangers have ever mistaken me for innocent, and then only on the rarest of occasions. Most people assume I'm some sort of minx. It's not like I dress in a particularly revealing fashion or have an exquisite figure or anything. :blushed:
I asked a gay, male friend about it once, and he told me I "radiate sex." Other random people have said I just seem "very f*ckable." I'm not sure what that means, exactly, but I don't take it to mean I appear to be anything like innocent.


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## Resonance

blackandindie said:


> Oh man, I can't wait to be in a relationship. Sex this and sex that. Man oh man. Sure we may be reserved on the outside, but you get close to us and you'll find out what's really good.


No kidding!!!

It's always the quiet ones... well... almost always!


Sadly, I have not found anyone who I feel I can get close too.

It's frustrating socially and physically, but I would rather wait... but so frustrating... :bored:


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## Oreocat

I took this quiz and felt like putting it somewhere XD kinda funny just to see what they think of me

Your result for The What's your sexual style? Test ...
TYPE N
You scored 67 imagination, 58 confidence, 17 dominance, and 92 generosity!
You are a KINKY, CONFIDENT, SUBMISSIVE lover who prefers to GIVE. This means that: You like relatively kinky sex, and you have the great imagination that will always keep your partner guessing and excited! There's no getting bored with you around, you could never settle for dull sex, you want something fun and new all the time. You aren't afraid to try out anything you hear about. You might just be an intelligent lover who needs to be mentally engaged, or perhaps you have some dirty dark secret kinky desires, but either way, you're never boring. You are pretty confident in bed. This means that you know you can please your lover. Maybe you've read a lot of sex manuals, or have the experience from previous lovers, or just tend to be skilled at whatever you get your hands on, but you're good and you know it. You can really get results and know that you have pure talent, so you won't be hiding away shy, pretending to be all innocent. Your partners love your naughty self assurance, you don't hesitate and this makes you a sensational lover. You tend to be submissive in bed, so you prefer to go along with what your lover likes rather than your own plans. You might like being ordered around and acting out a slave/master fantasy, or perhaps you just get turned on by being helpless and unable to move. Or maybe it's as simple as you lacking courage so prefering firm instructions in bed to make sure you are doing things right. Either way, you won't be dominating your lover anytime soon, and might prefer the missionary position to any others. You prefer to give than recieve. This makes you a very unselfish lover, devoted to the needs of your partner rather than your own. You get your pleasure from seeing them get theirs, you are a model sex partner. I'm sure plenty of people would love to have someone like you in bed with them! Remember though that if your partner gets pleasure from returning the favour it's okay to let them, they might love giving as much as you do! WE SUGGEST YOU: Get crazy with the kissing. It sounds basic, but perhaps with all your wonderful kinky antics and games, you have forgotten how good it can feel just to kiss someone all over, and have the same done to you! Practise with different kissing styles, kiss your lover in places you've never kissed them before.


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## sea cucumber

^ ENFJ the 'givers':tongue: lol


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## amanda32

mrniceftw said:


> Really??? I mean I know I'm a sexual tiger underneath but that's underneath, usually noone sees that on the surface. Normally I'm just a jeans and t-shirt guy that looks lake any other, always tripping over myself (not literally) but mentally and emotionally. I don't make grand entrances or exits like the "life of the party" guy.
> 
> Btw, bravo Goodewitch for having the courage to become a sexual role model for INFJ's


INFPs can easily see underneath. We have x-ray eyes that look right at a persons heart and soul. Sounds tacky but it's true and I suspect it's why I'm attracted to so few people and conversely why I adore INFJs.


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## Hokahey

amanda32 said:


> INFPs can easily see underneath. We have x-ray eyes that look right at a persons heart and soul. Sounds tacky but it's true and I suspect it's why I'm attracted to so few people and conversely why I adore INFJs.


/blush....... That's amazing though, I always feel noone really can ever see me or that I'm always unnoticed or like Goodewitch says, have an image of "not to be touched, too precious"


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## Vadim Fedorovsky

*sex sex sex*

I have had two sexual partners so far. And with them, I tried to be as creative and exploratory as possible. The first was an ENFP and the second was an INTJ. I definitely had a lot of good flow with the ENFP. She let me lead most of the time, but the passion and awareness was not lacking. With the INTJ, the leader position was more equal; since we were both types who loved control, we would switch back and forth as to who was dominating. I liked both of my experiences very much. 

I think it is safe to say that INFJs often treat sexual experiences as spiritual. They think of it as a spiritual bond between two humans. This is definitely how I have thought about it in the past. However, as of late, I have had some second thoughts on the matter. These thoughts have been influenced by the opinion of another person whose wisdom I have much respect for. The opposing way to think of sex is that it is not a higher understanding of the deity, but rather, and expression of love and authentic pleasure. By authentic pleasure, I mean pleasure which meets the moral standards of society (an example of inauthentic pleasure would be rape). 

What do you humans think? Do you think of sex as a spiritual experience or as simply an experience of pleasure and love? I should be a little more specific because the experience of love is obviously very spiritual for many people. When I say spiritual experience, I mean an experience of a state of awareness far greater than the human condition (i.e. enlightenment). Nevertheless, having just written this, I think I have convinced myself of the answer to my question (this is further proof that INFJs should write in order to work through their many questions but that is a topic for a different thread). When it comes to sex, I think that because it is such an animal act, we are not reaching enlightenment. Rather, we are physically expressing love and an attempt to connect in one of the most intimate ways possible. With that said, I can imagine a more profound connection between humans: the connection that is found between talking and writing to each other, the achievement of understanding each other, and the subsequent destruction of that cold alienation which is so prevalent within the trek of humanity! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, sex is an intense, beautiful, and magical deed! But it is not highest (and this is especially true because it operates within the sphere of temptation/desire), it is not the best we can do in regard to connecting with one another. For that, we can sit on stumps around campfires in dark forests in dying light and stare at stars and communicate (be it through words or body or both) in order to establish some form of understanding, some form of: "Hey there, human, I know you and I know your joy and I know your pain and I know that everything is going to be okay because I'm here and I've always got your back."


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## Oreocat

sea cucumber said:


> ^ ENFJ the 'givers':tongue: lol


XD haha I was thinking the same thing when I found out


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## Unicorntopia

Vadim Fedorovsky said:


> I have had two sexual partners so far. And with them, I tried to be as creative and exploratory as possible. The first was an ENFP and the second was an INTJ. I definitely had a lot of good flow with the ENFP. She let me lead most of the time, but the passion and awareness was not lacking. With the INTJ, the leader position was more equal; since we were both types who loved control, we would switch back and forth as to who was dominating. I liked both of my experiences very much.
> 
> I think it is safe to say that INFJs often treat sexual experiences as spiritual. They think of it as a spiritual bond between two humans. This is definitely how I have thought about it in the past. However, as of late, I have had some second thoughts on the matter. These thoughts have been influenced by the opinion of another person whose wisdom I have much respect for. The opposing way to think of sex is that it is not a higher understanding of the deity, but rather, and expression of love and authentic pleasure. By authentic pleasure, I mean pleasure which meets the moral standards of society (an example of inauthentic pleasure would be rape).
> 
> What do you humans think? Do you think of sex as a spiritual experience or as simply an experience of pleasure and love? I should be a little more specific because the experience of love is obviously very spiritual for many people. When I say spiritual experience, I mean an experience of a state of awareness far greater than the human condition (i.e. enlightenment). Nevertheless, having just written this, I think I have convinced myself of the answer to my question (this is further proof that INFJs should write in order to work through their many questions but that is a topic for a different thread). When it comes to sex, I think that because it is such an animal act, we are not reaching enlightenment. Rather, we are physically expressing love and an attempt to connect in one of the most intimate ways possible. With that said, I can imagine a more profound connection between humans: the connection that is found between talking and writing to each other, the achievement of understanding each other, and the subsequent destruction of that cold alienation which is so prevalent within the trek of humanity! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, sex is an intense, beautiful, and magical deed! But it is not highest (and this is especially true because it operates within the sphere of temptation/desire), it is not the best we can do in regard to connecting with one another. For that, we can sit on stumps around campfires in dark forests in dying light and stare at stars and communicate (be it through words or body or both) in order to establish some form of understanding, some form of: "Hey there, human, I know you and I know your joy and I know your pain and I know that everything is going to be okay because I'm here and I've always got your back."


Beautifull!

Yes! Sex is just one of the many ways one can connect with another show love, receive love, and reach new spiritual levels. When both hearts mean to do this through the act then yes, it happens. :happy:


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## JoetheBull

Unicorntopia said:


> Beautifull!
> 
> Yes! Sex is just one of the many ways one can connect with another show love, receive love, and reach new spiritual levels.


I like to think of sex like this also. probably seems strange coming from an INTP:laughing:. But judging from my experience with sex I am guessing I didn't enjoy it at all because it wasn't personal and was slightly uncomfortable about having sex with them.


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## Unicorntopia

JoetheBull said:


> I like to think of sex like this also. probably seems strange coming from an INTP:laughing:. But judging from my experience with sex I am guessing I didn't enjoy it at all because it wasn't personal and was slightly uncomfortable about having sex with them.


It took me many years and a couple of partners to finally find one that I felt the connection and spirituality with. Now I am much better at choosing mates and facilitating the good stuff when I want it. It is most definitely about feeling comfortable with and trusting of who you are with - and yourself of course. roud:

EDIT: Oh yeah, I can't leave out the part where it is like any other activity. It takes time and practice to get good...


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## Vaan

yeah samewhen it comes to my INTP gf. i think thats why im a bit on the fence when it comes to me and my girlfriends intimate moments because i dont get any emotion and cant read her but im sure everything smooths out after time ^^


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## IdonttryIdoitlikeNike

Yes, I am very hot, I crave a relationship just to be able to let my self go and do everything once, twice .......ohh who am i kidding I want it & to give it 24/7 I cannot get enough!! I love being creative and yes if my partner does not match me in creativity or is inhibited they get dropped


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## Jwing24

I have never had sex. =/

That being said, I think after the first time I will want it. All the time. Haha


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## sbhamilton21

When I am with someone that I am in love with, I enjoy sex roughly 3 times a day or more. However, I have found that this often leads my partner into feeling as if it is more of a chore than a pleasure. When with someone that I am just getting to know, I actually prefer waiting and building up the anticipation. Casual sex, although sometimes fun, more often feels empty.


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## IdonttryIdoitlikeNike

sbhamilton21 said:


> When I am with someone that I am in love with, I enjoy sex roughly 3 times a day or more. However, I have found that this often leads my partner into feeling as if it is more of a chore than a pleasure. When with someone that I am just getting to know, I actually prefer waiting and building up the anticipation. Casual sex, although sometimes fun, more often feels empty.


Yes, I know how you feel. My ex always felt like my high sexual demand was a chore (& that it is very unladylike like) and knowing he felt that way let to the break up.


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## Oreocat

IdonttryIdoitlikeNike said:


> Yes, I know how you feel. My ex always felt like my high sexual demand was a chore (& that it is very unladylike like) and knowing he felt that way let to the break up.


Whats your number :wink: haha kidding, though I'm not so sure most guys would view that as a problem


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## skycloud86

Oreocat said:


> Whats your number :wink: haha kidding, though I'm not so sure most guys would view that as a problem


You would be surprised. Many men don't fir the stereotype of the perpetually sex-obsessed and sex-seeking male.


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## Oreocat

skycloud86 said:


> You would be surprised. Many men don't fir the stereotype of the perpetually sex-obsessed and sex-seeking male.


Eh I don't I'd be surprised, I myself have turned down the chance and really don't seek it unless a certain emotional need is met but once it is, watch out :tongue:


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## Vaan

same here, ive never understood why some guys find it to be their weakness, for me its like my mind presents it as an option, and from there i can choose whether or not to go further, but ive never actually felt that its something that i wouldnt be able to control and ive always been able to say no even when off my face drunk


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## Sea Cat

Possibly one of the most informative and most interesting threads I've ever read. Oh, scratch that- THE BEST thread I've ever read! This has made me love my type even more than I already do! roud: 
And it makes me want to look for a smexy NF man to love as well :laughing:


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## 18211

Sea Cat said:


> Possibly one of the most informative and most interesting threads I've ever read. Oh, scratch that- THE BEST thread I've ever read! This has made me love my type even more than I already do! roud:
> And it makes me want to look for a smexy NF man to love as well :laughing:


I wholeheartedly agree. I feel so proud to be an INFJ!


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## Torgirl

I love sex but I have to be in a committed relationship, but when I am it's no holds bar! :tongue:


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## Sali

To be honest I don't really like sex itself that much, I like the passion attached to sex though.


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## Vaan

i agree sali, i believe im a bit asexual, im never the first one to get turned on and it usually takes a long time for them to get me into a mood and even then i feel kinda uncomforatable and 'meh' about it, like its some unnecesary feeling that must be destroyed before it gets worse, but i must admit that having said that the passion of the moment is where i get the pleasure, not so much from the physical feeling, but im not sure if thats an INFJ thing or not?


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## Unicorntopia

Vaan said:


> i agree sali, i believe im a bit asexual, im never the first one to get turned on and it usually takes a long time for them to get me into a mood and even then i feel kinda uncomforatable and 'meh' about it, like its some unnecesary feeling that must be destroyed before it gets worse, but i must admit that having said that the passion of the moment is where i get the pleasure, not so much from the physical feeling, but im not sure if thats an INFJ thing or not?


Strange thing isn't it? I was thinking maybe we can separate the two where other types can't as well.


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## pukainthewall

Sex in a good committed relationship is awesome. Not only being able to share the physical side but the whole relationship in general is a turn on. I find being in the presence of your significant other without even speaking to one another is a great feeling, which eventually leads to hot steamy sex.


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