# "Small talk" - do you enjoy it?



## suicidal_orange (May 6, 2010)

It seems from my travels around this forum that a significant number of people claiming to represent each type dislike small talk. This got me wondering - is the whole concept of small talk just an invention by those in power designed to distract us from having the meaningful conversations everyone desires or do some people actually enjoy it? The poll is anonymous so no-one will know to hate you for perpetuating this unpopular ritual, but I'm interested in the results :laughing:


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

I guess it depends upon what you define as "small talk" and who I am speaking to. If it's a casual stranger, I'm rarely ever in that mood TBH. I'm an extrovert and all but that doesn't mean I love talking at all. Even when I'm with other people, I'm completely fine not talking. Some may think it's awkward but I see no reason to talk constantly. I think being in someone's company is stimulating enough.


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## hoom (Jan 22, 2011)

I did a survey with my school this year, and small talk preferences involved one of the questions. Unfortunately I worded it poorly I think, and didn't realize after the fact and couldn't change it with my short timeframe, but suffice it to say that there were vague indications that E's find it more bearable than I's, and that that letter had the strongest division. Note that I say vaguely here, because like I said, particularly on this question, the data was iffy.


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## TARZAN (Jul 5, 2011)

No type will universally like anything.....because everybody, even those of the same type, are different

-Will


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## Turelie (Jul 22, 2010)

I dislike it, but it seems to be necessary. I view it like a separate language I have to speak.


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

Things I would classify as 'small talk', I can rarely find my place within...I have no idea what to say. And it's not stimulating, of course, so no, I don't enjoy it.


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## Ontheroadway (May 1, 2011)

Small talk is good to ease getting into the main topic, but for THE topic? No way ...boring as hell


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## sleepykitty (Apr 18, 2011)

I like it as a challenge...like, what could I possibly think to talk about with this random stranger? If I'm able to find something to chat about it gives me a little thrill. But I don't really enjoy small talk for its own sake. It's more like I'm impressing myself if I can do it.


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## Sheppard (Jul 4, 2011)

INFJ voted yes

I used to dislike it immensely. I saw it as a waste of time. But my ESTJ friend is really big on it, and I sort of found a meaning in it that I can work with. What we talk about is not important. That we're talking in itself is. It's not very deep, it's not profound, but it's a connection that I treasure.


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## n2freedom (Jun 2, 2011)

Nope, I hate it. I will engage in it with strangers to a certain degree. But, I prefer to not waste my time with small talk. I enjoy stimulating, meaningful conversation instead.


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## Plaxico (Dec 11, 2010)

I don't mind listening to small talk i just don't like to small talk myself.


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## FreeSpirit (Jun 1, 2011)

I enjoy a reasonable amount of small
talk, now.

This is because, though the subject
of discussion may be boring to me,
participating in friendly chatter makes
people feel good. 

I like making people feel good, especially
when it is as easy as small talk.


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## suicidal_orange (May 6, 2010)

TARZAN said:


> No type will universally like anything.....because everybody, even those of the same type, are different
> 
> -Will


True, that was a bad choice of words. Thanks for pointing it out - I'll amend the OP :happy: 

@Sheppard - is your friend a self declared ENTJ or is this your typing of him/her?


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## Azure Bass (Sep 6, 2010)

I don't enjoy small talk. It's a good way to move around a crowded room, or building on rapport with people you see on a regular basis, but aside from the ways it can be utilized I really don't prefer it. I mean if I wanted small talk, I'd spend more time on facebook trying to talk to IRL friends I never see because everyone wants what they won't first give to those they automatically expect the same effort from to begin with.


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## Zster (Mar 7, 2011)

How weird - I LOVE idle chit chat with anyone who seems to be into it. I am surprised to see so many so negative about it.


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## Esilenna (Jul 10, 2011)

I dislike it. In fact, one of my pet peeves is when strangers try to engage me in conversation. Most such encounters end in awkward silence.


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## r00bic0n (Apr 27, 2011)

In my view, a waste of time. But I think the perception of what small talk is, is the most important thing.

I.e. small talk for me encompasses everything that is simply observational that does not lead onto reflection or meaningful discussion. Simply discussing the properties of something and describing the feeling one gets from it, with no though as to why, or what kind of implications this has...is small talk to me.

For example: 

P1: Hey, how are you?
P2: Good thanks, you? Oh and how was the festival?
P1: Yeah I'm great - the festival was so much fun. Lots of good music and people I like.
P2: Aw that sounds funnn, I like festivals and good music and friends.
P1: It's the best way to have a good time. How was that wedding you went to?
P2: It was great. The bride had cold feet at first - we didn't know which way it was going to go, but it was alright in the end.
P1: Phew! Thank god for that.
P2: Yeah. We were all really glad.

I mean, even if that story about the wedding were a lot more entertaining and elaborative, and P1 laughed as a result, this is surface level interaction that I can take in short bursts, but would drive me crazy in the end.

If we started talking about why marriages do/don't work, and the principles ruling these occurrences, then I would be a lot more engaged.


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## Nomenclature (Aug 9, 2009)

Azure Bass said:


> I don't enjoy small talk. It's a good way to move around a crowded room, or building on rapport with people you see on a regular basis, but aside from the ways it can be utilized I really don't prefer it.


This. It's NOTHING to do with enjoying it or talking to hear my own voice, but if I'm alone with a person, I'm not just going to sit there and twiddle my thumbs or pretend that I'm busy. "Hey, how are you?" is a nod of acknowledgment.

Granted, I never simply answer "good, how are you," but I try to branch it off into something I did recently or my latest project or recent FML moment.


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## Ontheroadway (May 1, 2011)

at the place I work at from time to time, most of the "small talk" is about church or so-and-so ... or about their kids or "Oh, let's go shopping! Look what i bought!!!!"

I have no interest in any of these things whatsoever. 

Other places, like with strangers, I find small talk is their way of not being able to handle silence and being by themselves. (Bus stop, good example)

Friends over a meal, meh ... it's ok but must i be surrounded all the time with small talk and conversation that doesn't have any focus? Where's the meat in conversation?


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## whist (Apr 16, 2011)

I'm fine with it. I don't really feel the need for deep, meaningful conversation with random strangers.
Small talk can lead to interesting topics if the other person is open to it, I don't view it as a dead end.

That said, I only do small talk in a situation where I need/want to make friends. If the person is already my friend then I have no idea why any of our conversations would be small talk.


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## SnowFairy (Nov 21, 2011)

I'll do it if I haved to, but I usually do not like it.


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## benoticed (Nov 14, 2012)

Since im British, i will have to be polite unfortunately whether you like it or not. 
But i will post brutal reaction gifs to defend my real mood





































I DONT ENJOY IT


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## Glenda Gnome Starr (May 12, 2011)

It doesn't bother me. Sometimes, chatter about what seems to be nothing turns into a really good conversation about things that matter to people. The talk of today's weather could become a conversation about bees or plants or memories of good days gone by or hopes for things yet to be. Sometimes chatter is just chatter. But that's OK, too. People need to make connections, small or large.


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## Cephalonimbus (Dec 6, 2010)

Sometimes.

I had a surprisingly nice chat with a stranger a few days ago... some kid asked me for a cigarette (and called me sir, so i immediately felt very old XD), but he turned out to be a cool dude and we ended up talking for 10-15 minutes.

I guess it just depends on how i'm feeling, and whether or not we can find some common ground fast enough so we don't have to be talking about things that interest neither of us. But that doesn't mean things have to get super deep either.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

Sometimes its worth seeing if it's going to go somewhere.


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## Everyday Ghoul (Aug 4, 2009)

If I'm honest, I love any and every opportunity, excuse, whatever to talk to another person. I love interaction and I am starved for it. That being said, I pity anyone who attempts small talk with me, right now. Since this manic episode has started, I cannot shut up, once I start. To make matters even better, I talk so fast and I'm so animated while doing so, I look like a Jack Russel on crack.


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## JackCoates (Mar 1, 2013)

I tend to enjoy it but it just depends on when, where and who with.


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## NChSh (Jan 2, 2013)

I hate small talk with a passion. When I'm not lecturing or instructing (which I thoroughly enjoy), I need some sort of connection with a person for conversation to be pleasant. I love to talk and love interacting with people, but small talk always seems forced.


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## Nowhere Man (Apr 22, 2012)

Only when I'm drunk enough.


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## Maru the Gingerhead (Apr 25, 2013)

I don't mind friendly small-talk at all, unless the conversation involves gossip.


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## bobdaduck (Apr 24, 2010)

if 90% of the population detests small talk, it seems logical that small talk would not exist.


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## Vines (Sep 27, 2011)

oh wow, i'm somewhat surprised by these results. i voted for disliking it,but didn't suspect so many would share that point of view,especially not nearly 90% of people... how odd then that smalltalk is so common and sometimes difficult to avoid


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## MooseAndSquirrel (Apr 10, 2012)

This (Ralphie) pretty much sums up what I think of small talk...


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## Saira (Feb 2, 2012)

So, nobody likes small talk, but we still constantly insist on it? Is it really that necessary for normal conversation, then?


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## Sara62097 (May 16, 2013)

I view small talk as a meaningless conversation with someone I don't or barely know.
That sounds worse than ripping apart butterfly wings :bored:

Now, if I were talking causally with a friend or high-leveled acquaintance then I wouldn't mind it and if I were in the right mood may quite enjoy it.


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## ForsakenMe (Aug 30, 2010)

I dislike it. I'm more of a deep-in-a-serious-conversation type of gal.


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## DandyAndCheese (Nov 16, 2012)

But... but... I like it :sad:
Why does everything always have to be meaningful.
I love talking about useless and stupid stuff...
:sad:


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## AccioCookies (May 12, 2013)

I kind of enjoy small talk. You can pick up on things about people that you're around regularly even with simple banter. People I don't know are generally another story and unfortunately tend to latch on and not let go. This has led to a general hatred of airplanes. Really, lady? I love that you're going to see your daughter who you haven't gotten on with for the last ten years, but I'd really like to hide in my book right now, thanks.


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## athenaowl (Apr 22, 2013)

I loathe small talk. It is tedious and annoying and I find that it rarely serves any purpose (that I can detect). I prefer talking about focused subjects.


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## Bluity (Nov 12, 2012)

I dislike small talk because it's usually stating the obvious: "It's raining today, isn't it?" Well no shit. But I do acknowledge that it can close the gap between strangers while still maintaining distance. Its a way to keep the atmosphere positive without getting too deep. I wouldn't appreciate strangers asking me about my views on abortion, politics, genocide in Africa, etc when they sit next to me on a train.


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