# Personal Growth Questions



## Tips

Hi INFJs,

This is strictly for your type. This is to get you think about yourself. I was wondering (and you can just answer the questions you want):

(1) if you feel a walking contradiction, and why.
(2) how is it that you are able to predict the future? Is it based on small physical cues or is it something more?
(3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?
(4) How to get you to disclose the deeper aspects of yourself which you keep secret?
(5) How can people better relate to you? 
(6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?


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## Tips

Hi ENFPs,

This is strictly for your type. This is to get you think about yourself. I was wondering (and you can just answer the questions you want):

(1) why do a lot of you go through different phases in life? What is consistent about it?
(2) what methods do you employ to calm your mind and get into a groove? How does it feel like when your mind gets all scattered and chaotic with a flight of ideas?
(3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?
(4) How do you think the world can get better?
(5) How can people better relate to you? 
(6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?


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## Tips

Hi ENFJs,

This is strictly for your type. This is to get you think about yourself. I was wondering (and you can just answer the questions you want):

(1) how is it like to lose your identity sometimes and get caught up in what people are doing? How do you ground your identity?
(2) how do you employ your bird's eye view and ability to see the bigger picture to help others?
(3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?
(4) Why do you feel lonely even when you are with people?
(5) How can people better relate to you? 
(6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?


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## Tips

Hi ISTJs,

This is strictly for your type. This is to get you think about yourself. I was wondering (and you can just answer the questions you want):

(1) How does it feel/what is your state of mind like when you have a strong sense of duty? What makes you want to carry things out? 
(2) how does it feel like when you can't say no to work being given to you? how do you say no? how do you avoid being taken advantage of?
(3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?
(4) How do you bring out your inner eccentricity/risk-taker/spontaneous nature?
(5) How can people better relate to you? 
(6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?


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## zKyuu

*if you feel a walking contradiction, and why.*
I don't feel like a walking contradiction since I feel that living with what people may perceive as inconsistencies and following my own reasoning, which can be seen contradictory because we factor in so many perspectives in our decision gives me a sense of integrity.
*how is it that you are able to predict the future? Is it based on small physical cues or is it something more?*
I think i predict the future based on the flow of events preceding, it constitutes as a gut feeling that needs to be translated into human language, though not always a smooth thing. We predict ebs and flows in people best, it comes from the ability to enter your mental/emotional spectrum and understand intentions/motivations clearly, so it can feel like we're always at least one step ahead of what you're saying, thinking and feeling.
*What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?*
Absolutely nothing thought wise and immense and exuding sense of calm. I'm just acting completely in the moment and feel like I make no wrong choices. I'm also especially nice without realising, which people keep pointing out to me. Being excited, enthusiastic and happy aren't there when I feel this way.
*How to get you to disclose the deeper aspects of yourself which you keep secret?*
Complicated, to some extent understanding and care is needed but beyond that there's also what we expect of your response, if we don't like what we think we'll hear, we won't say anything. It's mostly because we hate platitudes/minimalisation/patronisation/unhealthy emotions etc., a bit perfectionism and probably most of all, we're used to people talking about themselves after opening up even a little. More often than not we just want to be heard and have our feelings validated and not have advice offered unless the other person has gone through something similar on the internal level.
*How can people better relate to you?*
For me, it's been in authenticity, being yourself around us lets us be ourselves. This usually means a lack of social conformity and saying what is true for you in the moment regardless of what other would think. Letting go of that social mask.
*How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?*
I spend a lot of time musing about how I feel myself, towards people and life in general and try to balance it with levels of analytical thought and empathy. Excess in any leads to detriments in my sense of balance. Lack of empathy makes me less nice, lack of my own emotions leads me into meaninglessness and without the ability to rationalise I can't find direction for me or anyone else.


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## Tips

Hi ISFJs,

This is strictly for your type. This is to get you think about yourself. I was wondering (and you can just answer the questions you want):

(1) I notice a number of you do not like your type description. What aspect of the ISFJ do you think the description does not convey?
(2) what drives you to task completion? How do you keep others from piling work on you?
(3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?
(4) How can I get you to express your inner feelings and know the conflicts you may feel?
(5) How can people better relate to you? 
(6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?


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## Tips

Hi ESTJs,

This is strictly for your type. This is to get you think about yourself. I was wondering (and you can just answer the questions you want):

(1) how does your more emotional side express itself?
(2) what advice would like give to others in order to live a healthy, productive life?
(3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?
(4) How do you develop the hidden and personal aspects of yourself?
(5) How can people better relate to you? How should people communicate with you?
(6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?


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## Tips

Hi ESJFs

This is strictly for your type. This is to get you think about yourself. I was wondering (and you can just answer the questions you want):

(1) how do you nerd out in your spare time?
(2) why are you so responsible? what state of mind are you in when you are dutiful?
(3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?
(4) How can you figure out when your actions are unethical or unjustifiable? I know usually ESFJs have a strong value system.
(5) How can people better relate to you? 
(6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?


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## Maker of helmets

Type Tips said:


> Hi INFJs,
> 
> This is strictly for your type. This is to get you think about yourself. I was wondering (and you can just answer the questions you want):
> 
> (1) if you feel a walking contradiction, and why.
> (2) how is it that you are able to predict the future? Is it based on small physical cues or is it something more?
> (3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?
> (4) How to get you to disclose the deeper aspects of yourself which you keep secret?
> (5) How can people better relate to you?
> (6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?


(1) yes, not sure
(2) I cannot predict the future. humanity is one organism. perceive clues which tell me
(3) rest, calm. 
(4) if I make you feel safe, so do I.
(5) depend on me for my strengths.
(6) having someone who wants to hear me, depending on someone who cares about me.


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## jcal

Type Tips said:


> (1) How does it feel/what is your state of mind like when you have a strong sense of duty? What makes you want to carry things out?


To me, it's not nearly as noble as "strong sense of duty" makes it sound. It's more about doing what needs to be done to _survive._ There may have been a time when physical survival was the goal, and that more or less still applies when we're charged with the protection of our more helpless clan/family/inner circle members. However, today "survival" usually has more of an economic connotation to it. People often say that SJs "enjoy" menial, thoughtless tasks. That's hogwash. We don't enjoy them any more than anyone else. However, we ARE more willing to do them when necessary to survive (economic or otherwise). Safety and stability are at the forefront for us... it's better to take on whatever task is required, no matter how inconvenient or unpleasant it may be, than risk losing what we've already attained.



> (2) how does it feel like when you can't say no to work being given to you? how do you say no? how do you avoid being taken advantage of?


Initially, it doesn't feel like anything. It's just normal... what we expect of ourselves, and others, and there is no sense whatsoever that we're being taken advantage of. When you do realize that the other lazy sacks of crap around you are not pulling their weight, you still tend to be proud of your own work ethic and carry on, but eventually you tire of it. 

The response I adopted long ago when asked to take something else on is this: "I already have A, B & C on my plate and I will finish them all by next Friday. Adding D will add another week. If you want to change the priorities, fine, let me know NOW, but it will still take the same amount of time to complete them all. YOU decide what order you want them in or if you need to reassign any of it." In this way, I'm not refusing to do the work, but I'm also giving them realistic expectations that can be met without killing myself.

In general, I tend to work between 45 and 50 hours a week, and I'm absolutely fine with that. If something truly extraordinary comes up that no one could have predicted or prepared for, I will do all-nighters if necessary, or put in the occasional 60 or 70 hour week. However, I will not do that for sustained periods and I will not ever work on weekends. My family knows this and that they can count on me to be around on weekends, always.



> (3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?


I'm not sure I've ever felt that. There's always another problem to solve.



> (4) How do you bring out your inner eccentricity/risk-taker/spontaneous nature?


Ha ha, you think you're funny, don't you.:dry::happy:



> (5) How can people better relate to you?


These may sound like semantics, but: 

Don't ask me how I 'feel' about something... ask me what I 'think' about it. 
Don't ask me how I would 'feel' in a particular situation... ask me what I would 'do' that situation. 
It's not that don't have feelings or that I wish to suppress them. It's just that my feelings are more like the idiot lights on the dashboard that let me know that something needs to be fixed. The indicator light itself is meaningless and I have neither the need, desire nor vocabulary to discuss the nuances of the indicator light. I am more than willing to discuss what caused the light to come on and how to fix it, but there is nothing worthwhile to be gained by discussing the damned idiot. It's has no intrinsic meaning outside the context of the underlying issue.

The other important thing to keep in mind is that we are not as opposed to change as most folks assume we are. However, we ARE cautious about it... we're big on looking before we leap. Sometimes, that takes time. If you propose something new to us, explain what problem it addresses and why you think your proposal will help that problem. Then give us some time to analyze it logically. If it makes sense and carries no undo risk, we can be big supporters and be very helpful in the implementation of your idea. If we agree on the problem but not the solution, we will offer suggestions or work with you to find alternate solutions that pose less of a risk. The only time you can truly expect us to flatly reject change is if you do not allow us that due diligence period to analyze the proposal. We would consider that a reckless, unsafe action and will reject it... not because we think it's a bad idea, but because we have not had the opportunity to verify that it's a good one. 



> (6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?


I have a very strong need/desire to learn new things. Allowing myself to continue that process keeps me sane and satisfied.


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## Vivid Melody

*(1) if you feel a walking contradiction, and why.
*Yes, I do. I've concluded that it has to do with being aware of paradoxes. So I guess it's not truly a contradiction then.

*(2) how is it that you are able to predict the future? Is it based on small physical cues or is it something more?
*I can't predict the future. I can give you my own projection of it - the more data I have, the more accurate it will probably be.

*(3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?

*




*(4) How to get you to disclose the deeper aspects of yourself which you keep secret?
*Genuine care, genuine interest and at least a desire to understand (better if you have the ability to understand as well). 

*(5) How can people better relate to you? 
*It's just something that either naturally happens or doesn't. The above qualities help. Sometimes it's just not possible and the person has to actually experience something before they can. 

*(6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?
*Listening to music to feel and release feelings, writing poetry, talking and listening to other people etc.


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## chanteuse

*(1) if you feel a walking contradiction, and why.*

Other ppl may see me so but I don't

*(2) how is it that you are able to predict the future? Is it based on small physical cues or is it something more?*

It's very logical. I read a person and based on this understanding I may predict how he/she would act or react in matters such as finance, career, interpersonal relationship, and self improvement/health. 

*(3) How do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?*

The world is pretty interesting because of ppl. I am not on top of anything but on the side watching, apparently INFJ's preferred position at parties.

*(4) How to get you to disclose the deeper aspects of yourself which you keep secret?*

I have to vet you out, like you, and trust you.

*(5) How can people better relate to you? *

Just be polite and respectful. I don't like having my arms twisted by ppl.

*(6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?*

I try to be self aware like a Fi user. If not, my mental and emotional state may veer off course.

To keep sane I look at the world at large, not at myself. Once I am not the center of universe, it's much easier to feel normal and able to relate to everyone else.


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## Magnetism

Type Tips said:


> Hi INFJs,
> 
> This is strictly for your type. This is to get you think about yourself. I was wondering (and you can just answer the questions you want):
> 
> (1) if you feel a walking contradiction, and why.
> (2) how is it that you are able to predict the future? Is it based on small physical cues or is it something more?
> (3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?
> (4) How to get you to disclose the deeper aspects of yourself which you keep secret?
> (5) How can people better relate to you?
> (6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?


. 1) different people perceive me differently, which gets me confused. I'm weak and passive to one woman. I'm strong and assertive to another man. I'm prudish and lesbianish to a few people, bc I "never talk about guys." I''m too sexually aggressive to the few people that I do open up too. I'm too private and secretive to some people, but then too heavy and overwhelming with my feelings to others. What exactly am I supposed to be then? I guess im just complex and have too many layers? 2) images come to my head, and then they sometimes turn out to be true. I think, "yeah, I saw that coming." Little cues here and there can help. 3) I try my best to help it whes and be happy. Self care is important, bc I get lost in worrying about others. 4) I have revealed myself under pressure and nosy questions, but that just made me resentful. I need to be around a Non judgmental and mellow person. 5) i connect with people on a friendly level. I respond to warm, engaging and fun people that know how to engage. 6) writing, venting, expressing...music...


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## AllyKat

Type Tips said:


> (1) How does it feel/what is your state of mind like when you have a strong sense of duty? What makes you want to carry things out?


It's only through reading about MBTI that I've found reference to having a "strong sense of duty". I suppose this is how others view it, but I never really saw it as duty. I believe you should take responsibility for yourself and your actions and that you should stay true to your word. If I see something as being my responsibility or if I have previously agreed to do something then I will do that thing. I'm not sure it's a dutiful thing as much as a need to maintain my personal integrity for myself. I guess that sounds self-righteous (it probably is!) but I operate under this principle. It's the just and honourable way to be and I would find it difficult to respect myself if I didn't at least try to be that way. I would be very unforgiving to myself if I didn't make the effort to be 'fulfill duties' to the people I cared about for example. I would feel unworthy for the things they would do for me. 



> (2) how does it feel like when you can't say no to work being given to you? how do you say no? how do you avoid being taken advantage of?


I take the approach that if someone gives you a job to do, it's because they want _you_ to do it - either because they think you're the best person for the job or because it's part of your job description in the first place or similar. It's not really about saying 'no', it's just kind of the way it is. 

When it gets too much I do much the same as @jcal above. I explain that I have A+B+C to deal with etc and that if you want me to do D as well, something will have to slide to fit it in. I'm not superhuman so don't expect miracles. If I think you're taking advantage on purpose, your job will automatically go to the back of the queue, although this is more the case with people that demand that you do their job immediately and expect to you to drop everything. Seriously, if it's so important, do it yourself. If you think I have something extra to offer, then surely it's worth waiting a little longer for. 



> (3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?


I'm not really sure I can think of an example on this one. When something starts coming together, it gets pushed towards the background and subconsciously monitored while I focus on the next thing to fix or improve. It's a cyclic process so you never really hit the top because something else will come along for you to focus on. 



> (4) How do you bring out your inner eccentricity/risk-taker/spontaneous nature?


Any eccentricity I have tends to be of the atypical British type which, as a Brit, makes me pretty non-eccentric in the grand scheme of things. I don't bring it out really. You might get the odd one liner, and if you walked into my home you'd probably think it was a little eccentric, but it isn't 'brought out'. I probably just like quirky things - they make me curious!

There is no inner risk-taker. And my idea of spontaneous is having a free Saturday afternoon and deciding _that morning_ that I'll use it to go shopping. 



> (5) How can people better relate to you?


By gaining my trust by being consistently genuine and then asking me suitable questions to get to know me better. By suitable I mean ask things that you genuinely want to know the answers to. I'm pretty good at spotting when someone is being genuine or not and I don't tend to entertain those that aren't. I take people for what they are and work with that. I suppose I kind of expect for others to do the same. 

Patience is key as I'm unlikely to open up quickly. 



> (6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?


By frequently analysing and looking for self-improvement. Understanding personality typing better has helped in this area. I tend to keep sane by making sure there's always something in the future to focus on. I find planning therapeutic and it gives me a sense of moving forward. 

While I don't outwardly look the most active of people, if I spend too long without doing something productive (which can often be an introverted thought process rather than a physical action) it gets me down.


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## Copper North

*(1) if you feel a walking contradiction, and why.*

Sometimes. Others are always giving me compliments, but I'm not good at accepting any of them.

*(2) how is it that you are able to predict the future? Is it based on small physical cues or is it something more?*

I used to think that it was a matter of having so many, many things drifting through my head at once (that it would seem like coincidence to have one of them manifest themselves in real-time).
Most times, I think it is just sub-conscious observations (along the lines of a particular busy intersection full of cars and seeing a lot of close calls). All of the small details we've processed suddenly tell us, "This spot is an accident waiting to happen".


*(3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?
*

Relieved for the fact that I trusted the laws of karma and balance, and the idea that "all things happen for a reason".
It might take months to see the opposite end of a stressful situation, and to have a moment of clarity to see that having Person A go to Place B allowed Person B to get to do this ____, and that this allowed Person C to finally get to accomplish this ____, etc.
Hindsight can be very soothing. roud:

*(4) How to get you to disclose the deeper aspects of yourself which you keep secret?*

Very rarely (this forum is the place to do so at least 90% of the time).
I often feel like I'm annoying others with my viewpoints (or that I'm not on the same page as anyone around me), so my deepest thoughts go out to one or two co-workers, and the rest to about 45 of you here in the forum.


*(5) How can people better relate to you?*

When they need to laugh, be cheered up, or feel appreciated, they will come to me. They can go to anyone, but I must come across as more sincere or natural (that's the only way I can do it). Sometimes, being there so often can put me in the role of a counselor (which can drain my batteries down if it goes on and on all day). 


*(6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane? *

I try not to look at the big picture if things are in a depressing mode. I feel better at limiting myself to the next five days ahead and keeping the stress level down.
I try to accept compliments, try to reward myself with a day at the beach, or let myself leave work 10 minutes earlier than usual, but (in most cases), I still find myself doing less for myself and more for others. Sometimes, I can catch myself, and change course. :happy:

The weight of loneliness eases a lot when I'm reading, writing, drawing or daydreaming (I can often spend three hours thinking about what I'm wanting to draw, and I still consider it to be quality time).
I still haven't determined whether or not it has kept me sane. I've been of the mind that (being an INFJ) maybe I'm not. :laughing:


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## spyderdude

(1) How does it feel/what is your state of mind like when you have a strong sense of duty? What makes you want to carry things out? 

*My state of mind in having a sense of duty is being given a task or tasks and expected to complete said task(s) and if I don't do it or do it wrong, then I'll likely beat myself up over it or blame external causes. I've had employers fire me because I was incompetent in certain job related tasks. Well I felt as though I wasn't provided enough details on how to do the job right the first time! Often times it makes me not wish to pursue further time spent on the job/task at hand. *

(2) how does it feel like when you can't say no to work being given to you? how do you say no? how do you avoid being taken advantage of?

*Often times I have trouble saying no so I just say "I will see what I can do for you" and get around to it when I have time. I am forever juggling tasks and re-prioritizing. I just try to take it one thing at a time and see each thing I need to get done to completion then move on from there. I mean I did grow up being told what to do in school with all the assignments and if I didn't do what I was told, it would reflect badly on my grades and of course my parents wouldn't be happy. Sometimes I do get stressed because I have trouble saying no to people. 
*
(3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?

*The world is far too complicated IMO to really make sense of it all. Its taken me this long to figure myself out, forget the world filled with different people from various backgrounds and viewpoints. *

(4) How do you bring out your inner eccentricity/risk-taker/spontaneous nature?

*I weigh the pros and cons of something then select the best option based on my knowledge and real world facts. I've never been a big risk taker. I am the "better safe than sorry" type for the most part. 
*
(5) How can people better relate to you? 

*Often times people are unable to relate to me except maybe fellow introverts.* 

(6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?

*I like to go on nature walks/hikes and I keep myself occupied with my work, Youtube videos, and online interaction with friends. I also enjoy writing my thoughts out. 

*I hope this helps!


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## earthtopaige

1. Personally, I don't like the stereotype that comes with the ISFJ name. That we're all fluffy, quiet, cute little babies who wouldn't harm a fly and all that other flowery crap. (This may apply to some ISFJs but definitely not me) I can be extremely vicious, and I'm strong, not weak.

2. I like setting goals and success. I love the feeling of seeing my work finished no matter what it is, so it helps me finish any tasks. Depending on the person, I will either tell them I have a lot on my plate or make up an elaborate excuse that would make them change their mind about piling work on me so I don't have to tell them it's too much for me.

3. This is a really broad question. I'm usually thinking about tasks I need to complete (including within relationships) or about things that are exciting or worrying. When everything makes sense in the world, like anyone else I'll feel very happy and relaxed. Being a person with an anxiety disorder, this is a rare thing and I cherish it while I can, helping those around me while I have the energy to do so.

4. It's kind of like "Sorry, you must reach level 10 friendship to get this information". I must feel very comfortable and safe with the person. I want to make sure they wouldn't use my deep thoughts and opinions against me or look down on them. It's very rare that I find people that I can share my feelings and troubles with that are bringing me down

5. Usually I try to find common interests between those I interact with so that people can relate to me and I to them. Whether it's music, TV shows, common people that annoy us, places I've been, personality, etc etc, I try to find something I can talk about with people to entertain not only them but me. Otherwise I tend to avoid people who I have very little in common with and can keep a conversation with. Passionate and funny people are my favorites. Especially when they appear to have an interest in what I'm saying and talk about their similar experiences.

6. I better relate to myself when I'm alone and with my thoughts. When I'm going through what I've experienced recently or not so recently I try to check in with myself and find where I stand with myself and other people. How do I keep sane? Well I'm a very unhealthy person so I usually avoid my problems, or I write in a journal/draw/make music. Outlets are key to keeping me in line.

That was a lot longer than I intended sorry! :frustrating:


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## Sygma

Type Tips said:


> Hi ENFPs,
> 
> This is strictly for your type. This is to get you think about yourself. I was wondering (and you can just answer the questions you want):
> 
> 
> 
> 
> (1) why do a lot of you go through different phases in life? What is consistent about it?
> 
> 
> 
> Isn't it the only thing that is consistent in life, that you ll go through a lot of different versions of yourself ? I mean look at how it happen on so many different levels such as it is painted in the media. Breaking Bad for example, is the story of that dude which contained is whole goddamn life and just let it all go right ?
> 
> It might be necessary to constantly be on the move when you think about it. Some people are perfectly happy by stayin where they are, and they'll go through "phases" with all the experiences that are all around. If you stay the same person its time to be sorry for your ass, honestly. Same if you get into a self destructive behavior
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> (2) what methods do you employ to calm your mind and get into a groove? How does it feel like when your mind gets all scattered and chaotic with a flight of ideas?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Observer did a very wise reminding : SPORT. Sport help tremendously with keepin yourself in check since it generate mother's nature prozac (aswell as gettin us in that "are you stoned or something mate ?" state that people seem to observe when one NF is well, absolutely cool, calm and collected, lol.).
> 
> How does it feel when the mind get all chaotic and stuff ?
> 
> Like this ->
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> (3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> I'll let you know when I'll be at the top of the Himalaya with a shaman buddy or something
> 
> 
> 
> 
> (4) How do you think the world can get better?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> DAT TRAP THO.
> 
> With love. With a hell lot more of love. By gettin rid of these absolutely disgusting assholes that appear to be nice, want to take responsabilities and shit, say they ll do things but end up deceiving fucking everyone and shit on the values of the institution they re now responsible of.
> 
> The world need more selfless person. The world need more persons that aren't power driven or shit and that still know what the most basic form of happiness actually mean and how irreplacable it actually is. World definitely need more hippies that are cool and would fucking give their shirt to the person next to them if she's feelin cold.
> 
> The world need more humans that would actually be human beeings. And its a lost cause, lets just face it. So for those who still want to be in the happiness, just do as they say : to live happy, live hidden.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> (5) How can people better relate to you?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> By just digging through. Like seriously. How often do you hear people actually doin that, askin the relevant and more personal questions instead of fucking judging a book by the cover. I swear I don't bite. I look an alone quirky lunatic but I really accept anybody who want to chat and smile.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> (6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> When I'll figure that out I'll let you know aswell
Click to expand...


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## hppygrl

(1) if you feel a walking contradiction, and why.
I would echo the others here who already posted about being aware of paradoxes.

(2) how is it that you are able to predict the future? Is it based on small physical cues or is it something more?
People tell you A LOT about themselves if you pay attention. People tend to have patterns and we all have habits. Many, but not all people, seem to make their decisions based on the same principles so over time, their actions don't surprise me unless they have decide to change, which a lot of people don't really do much of it seems after a certain age. 

(3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?
Good.
(4) How to get you to disclose the deeper aspects of yourself which you keep secret?
that question made me nervous because if the goal is to get the disclosure, I'm not sure if that is a good goal. 

(5) How can people better relate to you? 
I think by being self-aware and healthy enough themselves that they are able to value me as an individual. 

(6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?[/QUOTE]
Being healthy. Finding ways to live my principles and values. Getting enough rest. The basics really. 

I have a question for the OP - what if anything strikes you as different from how INFPs would answer these?


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## Tridentus

lol thanks for the attempt to be my EQ teacher, but believe me I have plenty of this internalisation going on in my own life already, as do most ENFPs, and certainly the vast majority of ENFPs who would be on this forum.

I will answer in short-hand though- I think my life has most often been about a balance between my subjective interpretation (applying meaning to life/events) vs objective observation (almost-scientific analysis of reality/situations). That applies to pretty much all of your questions.


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## Teal

(1) how is it like to lose your identity sometimes and get caught up in what people are doing? How do you ground your identity? I have my own identity? oops sorry sometimes i forget, I dont think i ever lose it just forget / dont realize key characteristics of me which makes me me 
(2) how do you employ your bird's eye view and ability to see the bigger picture to help others? varys on the situation and who it is
(3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?
(4) Why do you feel lonely even when you are with people? Depends, if they dont care / i dont feel comfortable with them than its just like being alone if not worst
(5) How can people better relate to you? I dont want people to know all my secrets all the time im fine with relating to them and helping them out vs the other way around  Ehhh i cant really think of a good way to answer this question, why do i want peopleto relate to me again? It would take away my uniqueness that makes me me  
(6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane? this question confuses me aswell sorry!


----------



## Aizar

Type Tips said:


> Hi INFJs,
> 
> This is strictly for your type. This is to get you think about yourself. I was wondering (and you can just answer the questions you want):
> 
> (1) if you feel a walking contradiction, and why.
> (2) how is it that you are able to predict the future? Is it based on small physical cues or is it something more?
> (3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?
> (4) How to get you to disclose the deeper aspects of yourself which you keep secret?
> (5) How can people better relate to you?
> (6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?


1) Sort of, but not really. I think all humans are walking contradictions to some degree, as is the world. It's natural, so it's not so much of a contradiction...if that makes sense and doesn't contradict itself. :wink:

2) Experience, mainly. Sometimes the cues are tiny, sometimes they're gigantic but still only manage to hit me on the head after the fact. Some of my cues include: change in punctuation or grammar from a person's normal ways of speaking (online), tone of voice, where the eyes are pointing and how "restless" they might be, how a person is carrying themselves, how others nearby are acting, tallying up in my head what happened in the past.

3) Like everything is made of crystal; that I dance and the world is dancing with me, I just want to sing, sing, sing. I feel "high". Most often comes when I think about the beauty of the landscape, the sunlight, the knowing of all the good things that are waiting for me, either in the place I call home or in the future. 

4) Disclose them to who? I disclose to friends only when I trust they will not use the knowledge wrongfully, and gaining that trust depends on the person. Disclosing to myself? Nothing speeds that process along, really, except trying new approaches to life, and finding the courage to let my mind investigate all the possibilities, not just the ones that make me feel good. Even then, somethings just don't hit you until they hit you, you know?

5) Understanding that while I do dumb things sometimes, it's with good intention. I want the best for all, really, truly...though I may think some need a kick in the butt from time to time.

6) Reminding myself of who I am in all aspects of life, remembering how it felt to be loved by friends and family, whether still here with me or left behind at some point. Or just forgetting all the introspection and doing something in the moment that's uplifting, like volunteering, having a casual outing with friends, working out, cooking a good healthy meal, saying hi to someone I haven't seen in a long time.

EDIT: Adding to #3. Tasting really good food also sends me in this state. Eeeeee...


----------



## Kyrielle

Type Tips said:


> Hi INFJs,
> 
> This is strictly for your type. This is to get you think about yourself. I was wondering (and you can just answer the questions you want):
> 
> (1) if you feel a walking contradiction, and why.
> (2) how is it that you are able to predict the future? Is it based on small physical cues or is it something more?
> (3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?
> (4) How to get you to disclose the deeper aspects of yourself which you keep secret?
> (5) How can people better relate to you?
> (6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?


1. I don't. If you mean, do I feel as if I have various complementary aspects/dualities, then yes. But then, everyone has those. But duality doesn't mean one is exclusive of the other. It just means that one is an aspect of the whole, which includes the other.

2. By examining the pattern of current events, attitudes of involved parties, and prevailing assumptions about human behavior/thinking, then projecting that understanding forward. It's the same method used by weather forecasting models, really. Nothing special, just algorithmic thinking.

3. Excited. Like, way excited. I love it when something suddenly starts making sense and starts flowing nicely. It's such a nice ego boost.

4. I...don't know. I really don't. I suppose I have to know you won't judge me no matter what I tell you, but that requires consistent evidence and proof that that is the case. I have a very hard time trusting people not to judge me, so I generally don't tell people about things. The biggest thing I hide from others is how I feel about something in regards to relationships. But then, that's due to a whole other historical pattern that has absolutely _nothing_ to do with type.

5. Speak to me as an individual and value the fact that I am an individual. Be straightforward. And be a generally decent human being. I don't ask for much.

6. I pay close attention to moments when I'm emotionally overwhelmed and actively try to dissuade over-emotional thoughts. Otherwise, I do things that are enjoyable, and make a point to reward myself (verbally, generally), even if it's for the smallest of tasks. I surround myself with people who are supportive and understanding.


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## guardian.bunny

(1) how is it like to lose your identity sometimes and get caught up in what people are doing? How do you ground your identity?

Many ENFJs are described to care about others to the degree of making their problems problems of our own. I'm not sure that I've had specific experiences with this, but I tend to see the mistakes others make and worry about making them myself, because we're all imperfect people. I forget that I'm a different person sometimes, and that I won't necessarily make the same mistakes as others.
It's not that I lose my identity sometimes, but more like I act differently with different people. I have friends with different interests, so I talk about different things with different people. Some people see me as a person who is always energetic and has a positive attitude, while others see me as a chill person (even dull sometimes). It's all a matter of how the other person makes me feel. Sometimes I'm more of a listener, other times I'm more of the speaker.
As for grounding my identity, I would say that all of these variations of me still hold commonalities. It's not really strange, everyone else does it to some degree (but I guess I do it more than most).

(2) how do you employ your bird's eye view and ability to see the bigger picture to help others?

I'm good at helping teams get along, especially if I happen to get along with everyone. I can anticipate what peoples' strengths and weaknesses are and try to get them to do that to the best of their abilities. MBTI also helps me a lot with this too haha. I try to encourage people to work together and contribute to team ideas because teams are AMAZING and do so much better than one person can on his/her own.

(3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?

sorry, don't quite understand the wording of this question.

(4) Why do you feel lonely even when you are with people?

Because people don't always share the same viewpoint as me about caring for other people. I feel lonely when I care a lot about some individuals who will never seem to care about me in the same way. Sometimes when I'm in a crowd, I feel lonely because I don't feel like I have enough in common with the others. Their interests are all different, and sometimes they are all wonderful people, but I will have a really hard time making friends with people who aren't quite the same.

(5) How can people better relate to you? 

You all have some people who you love and would do a lot for. The next time you are angry or bored with your lives, rather than think about how upsetting everything is, focus on doing something for others.

(6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?

Uh... I relate to myself just fine. In fact, I'm kind of you know... am myself. 

As for insanity, don't think I deal with insanity any better than everyone else, despite what it might seem like.
"How do I deal with being upset and angry and sad?"
Answer: You don't. You cry, you get angry, you want to scream. But in no way do you deal with anything.


----------



## Turgidson

*(3) What do you think about and how do you feel when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?*

These moments are ephemeral for me. It's just a moment, and then it becomes a sort of sense memory. There is a momentary clicking, a type of cohesion. It feels like a single moment to realize the cohesion, and serves as a kind of temporary rest. Then it's over and the uphill climb continues. It feels major in the moment, but the shock of it is easily forgotten/discarded; what is kept is the 'data', and that will be pulled out later for further play.

*(4) How to get you to disclose the deeper aspects of yourself which you keep secret?*

Being asked the right question, the right way, at the right time, (usually by the right person): this is like a magical key that I didn't know existed. The way someone asks questions tells me everything I need to know about them ... and when their questions seem designed just for me in that moment in time, it's like falling in love through time and space. Certain people asking certain questions aren't asking at all; they're telling you something about yourself. Even if it's a strangers on a train situation, I will love them forever, because they momentarily transmuted themselves into a key for me. I want to say that it was an encounter with God. I hope to be that key for someone someday.

I've only known one person who has done this for me, and they did it almost immediately upon our first meeting that I cannot not believe in reincarnation anymore.

*(5) How can people better relate to you? *

Patience. I always appreciate patience, and when I encounter genuine patience I am more willing to open up and relate back. Also, this: what you're doing. Asking us well-designed questions. It's so lovely. Thank you.

*(6) How do you better relate to yourself?*

I honestly don't know how I better relate to myself. Racking my brain = nothing. 

*(6b)What strategies do you use to keep you sane?*

Depends on the situation. I can usually sort through most things on my own. Alone time is the best strategy for me. Walking alone is even better.

But sometimes I need to talk things out, so I'll meet up with a trusted friend.


----------



## Kelly Almqvist

Type Tips said:


> Hi ENFJs,
> 
> This is strictly for your type. This is to get you think about yourself. I was wondering (and you can just answer the questions you want):
> 
> (1) how is it like to lose your identity sometimes and get caught up in what people are doing? How do you ground your identity?
> (2) how do you employ your bird's eye view and ability to see the bigger picture to help others?
> (3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming togetherp and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?
> (4) Why do you feel lonely even when youare with people?p
> (5) How can people better relate to you?
> (6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?




1 
We do our own thugs so much that we get bored by going our own way that we try go other peoples ways just for fun.
2
We see right in peoples hearts I can see someone on the street and kinda know how they feel the key to this is to try to be human and not so yeahh you know
3
When i feel everything coming together i feel that nothing ever will be hard to deal with and that i have done something good
4
Because I value sharing values with others,if we don't feel the same about stuff it will be hard.
5
I feel a bit miss understood because all we want is to get a world where we don't treat each other like crap
6
Sometimes I feel like " am I the only one thinking we should live like this" therefore I am very involved in politics


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## Kelly Almqvist

Teal said:


> (1) how is it like to lose your identity sometimes and get caught up in what people are doing? How do you ground your identity? I have my own identity? oops sorry sometimes i forget, I dont think i ever lose it just forget / dont realize key characteristics of me which makes me me
> (2) how do you employ your bird's eye view and ability to see the bigger picture to help others? varys on the situation and who it is
> (3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?
> (4) Why do you feel lonely even when you are with people? Depends, if they dont care / i dont feel comfortable with them than its just like being alone if not worst
> (5) How can people better relate to you? I dont want people to know all my secrets all the time im fine with relating to them and helping them out vs the other way around  Ehhh i cant really think of a good way to answer this question, why do i want peopleto relate to me again? It would take away my uniqueness that makes me me
> (6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane? this question confuses me aswell sorry!


I can soooo relate to number 4


----------



## Kelly Almqvist

guardian.bunny said:


> (1) how is it like to lose your identity sometimes and get caught up in what people are doing? How do you ground your identity?
> 
> Many ENFJs are described to care about others to the degree of making their problems problems of our own. I'm not sure that I've had specific experiences with this, but I tend to see the mistakes others make and worry about making them myself, because we're all imperfect people. I forget that I'm a different person sometimes, and that I won't necessarily make the same mistakes as others.
> It's not that I lose my identity sometimes, but more like I act differently with different people. I have friends with different interests, so I talk about different things with different people. Some people see me as a person who is always energetic and has a positive attitude, while others see me as a chill person (even dull sometimes). It's all a matter of how the other person makes me feel. Sometimes I'm more of a listener, other times I'm more of the speaker.
> As for grounding my identity, I would say that all of these variations of me still hold commonalities. It's not really strange, everyone else does it to some degree (but I guess I do it more than most).
> 
> (2) how do you employ your bird's eye view and ability to see the bigger picture to help others?
> 
> I'm good at helping teams get along, especially if I happen to get along with everyone. I can anticipate what peoples' strengths and weaknesses are and try to get them to do that to the best of their abilities. MBTI also helps me a lot with this too haha. I try to encourage people to work together and contribute to team ideas because teams are AMAZING and do so much better than one person can on his/her own.
> 
> (3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?
> 
> sorry, don't quite understand the wording of this question.
> 
> (4) Why do you feel lonely even when you are with people?
> 
> Because people don't always share the same viewpoint as me about caring for other people. I feel lonely when I care a lot about some individuals who will never seem to care about me in the same way. Sometimes when I'm in a crowd, I feel lonely because I don't feel like I have enough in common with the others. Their interests are all different, and sometimes they are all wonderful people, but I will have a really hard time making friends with people who aren't quite the same.
> 
> (5) How can people better relate to you?
> 
> You all have some people who you love and would do a lot for. The next time you are angry or bored with your lives, rather than think about how upsetting everything is, focus on doing something for others.
> 
> (6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?
> 
> Uh... I relate to myself just fine. In fact, I'm kind of you know... am myself.
> 
> As for insanity, don't think I deal with insanity any better than everyone else, despite what it might seem like.
> "How do I deal with being upset and angry and sad?"
> Answer: You don't. You cry, you get angry, you want to scream. But in no way do you deal with anything.


Who are you!
I feel the exact same I did'nt know there were anyone like me!


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## Sophi

(1) We are not doormats.Actually, I think we have a fairly hearty constitution.  I for one am very good at saying no (but that could be because I'm a middle child). Also, when descriptions say we like routines...I personally like useful and time effective routines. That doesn't mean I'm against changing them, and sometimes I like to shake things up. If I'm typing them correctly, most ISFJ's I know are pretty easy going and want to have fun like everyone else. 

2) I like to finish things. I like short tasks best. I can get overwhelmed by too much, or super long tasks, but I'm learning to deal with that, and how to break down larger tasks.

3) Um...what do I think about when the world is coming together...well it's already together...sorry I personally tend to be overly literal. I think you mean how do I feel when all the little pieces line up? I feel wonderful. Interestingly, I think best right before I fall asleep and right when I'm waking up. Those two times are when I'm most likely to solve some big dilemma I've been mulling over.

4) I think this one varies from person to person. I for one don't mind telling you what I think and can be overly blunt at times...but what I feel is a different matter. If I want to tell you I will. If I don't then I won't. No amount of weediling will get me to open up. I think it's a matter of trust though. At a certain point in a friendship, I decide I want to be closer to someone, and then I start opening up more. It's a conscious decision on my part, and it's something I control.

5) Be interesting. If I'm not being talkative, then start talking. As long as your not one to make quick judgements, we'll probably get along.

6) I write. I write my moods and analyze them. When I feel uneasy or uncertain or unhappy, I stop and anaylze what made me feel that way. I treat my emotions like I do my five senses-they're telling me something my consciousness missed. Then once I know what it was, I can make a decision about it, and let it go. It's amazing how peaceful you can become when you don't letter your emotions get cluttered up.

By the way, if you scroll through some older posts, I believe there have been questionares in the past. You might want to glance through those as well.


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## Epicyclic

Type Tips said:


> Hi ESTJs,
> 
> This is strictly for your type. This is to get you think about yourself.


Given what you've typed, what is your purpose in asking us these questions?


----------



## Tsubaki

Type Tips said:


> Hi ESTJs,
> 
> This is strictly for your type. This is to get you think about yourself. I was wondering (and you can just answer the questions you want):
> 
> (1) how does your more emotional side express itself?
> (2) what advice would like give to others in order to live a healthy, productive life?
> (3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?
> (4) How do you develop the hidden and personal aspects of yourself?
> (5) How can people better relate to you? How should people communicate with you?
> (6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?


(1) Usually, it doesn't really express itself, although I may seem kind of emotional, when I'm with friends. I actually show a lot of "emotions", but those are actually more like reactions on certain circumstances, than really emotions. Like when someone is nice to me, I look like I'm happy, but in my mind I'm thinking about something like: "Well, he did me a favor. That's nice of him. He seems trustworthy. I think, if I get an opportunity, I need to do him a favor, too" 
The only moment, when I really show, what I feel is, when I'm really really sad or upset, but I try to avoid it, as it makes my arguments illogical, I often repeat myself and I often start crying, because I don't have another way to express what exactly I feel.

(2) Be concious about your duties and find the right time to complete everything, so that you don't get overwhelmed.

(3) I love to finish duties and it makes me really happy to see something work. I love maths for example and when I solve a difficult problem, I get a great positive feeling. The feeling when something makes sense is basically one of my main power sources.

(4) I'm not sure, if I understand the question, but I'll try to answer it... At my school, we have so calles "Peer mediators" who are older stundents who get special education to help younger stundents with their problems. (Either in coaching or mediations) I'd say, that it really helped me to emathize with other peoples, because as a mediator, feeling empathy is part of my job.

(5) People should be a bit more considerate and understanding about the way I show emotions. I'm really doing my best to show real emotions towards others, but I'm only able to show my appreciation through favors. For communication, I have to say, that I can't cope with people who are not willing to talk about a problem or just cry or sulk. I also have a problem, when someone questions my principes, because I sometimes value them higher than I show and get hurt if someone's not respecting them. Well, for how to communicate with me, I'd say, that it's important that someone respects my opinion and is able to understand, when something is important to me. It's also really necessary, that a person listens to me, if I tell them about my feelings, because that's the most personal thing I'd ever tell someone.
That may seem pretty selfish, but I try to honor this behaviour as much as I can by doing favors. My best friend (ISFJ) is the person who understands me the best and I protect her as much as I possibly can. 

(6) I really like talking to friends who understand me, because that way, I can put my thought in order. My "strategy to keep myself sane" is most of the time, just not to think about how to keep myself sane, because that way, it works best.

And by the way, it's pretty offending to say: "This is to get you think about yourself."
You're implying, that we are not concious about ourselves of should change ourselves.
I still answered the questions though, because maybe you'll be able to understand and respect us more, when you get opinions


----------



## Wavius

Type Tips said:


> Hi INFJs,
> 
> This is strictly for your type. This is to get you think about yourself. I was wondering (and you can just answer the questions you want):
> 
> (1) if you feel a walking contradiction, and why.
> (2) how is it that you are able to predict the future? Is it based on small physical cues or is it something more?
> (3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?
> (4) How to get you to disclose the deeper aspects of yourself which you keep secret?
> (5) How can people better relate to you?
> (6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?


1. Not really. I have developed strong, deep, values over time and generally stick to them, and live according to them. But for most of my life I was a chameleon, blending in to social situations and being what other people needed or wanted me to be. 

2. When I do successfully predict the future, it's not a random event but normally an accumulation of tens, hundreds, and thousands of data points, depending on how complex the situation is. Some information is gathered consciously through deliberate questioning, others passively. Each piece of insight slots into another piece and gradually, bit by bit a picture of the future forms. But it not a clear picture, like some kind of psychic, more of a hazy one - like you are looking through foggy glasses. 

3. This is a good question as it gets to the heart of what one of the few things makes us come alive. So, yes, I feel alive. 

4. IRL, not many people get to do this. If a secret, was say the size of a treasure chest, most won't even get to know what town the treasure is located in - but they might be let in on the city, or country. If you really want to know what street the treasure is on you, when I let you in on the country, you get to ask one question. Depending on what question you ask, and how you ask it (tone, body language, etc), you will get to know what city. At each level you get to ask another question. All the way down to city, town, village, street, house, and room. The difficulty level increases the closer you get to the treasure. Ask the wrong question at any stage and the game in over. 

5. To get people to relate to me at my level is not easy. To be able to connect well they must bring to the conversation a whole host of qualities - listening skills, intelligence, depth of knowledge, flexibility, curiosity, interest, intrigue, sensitivity, empathy. 

6. Relating to myself is more difficult than relating to others. In more recent years I have learnt to get my in touch with my feelings, and body, which were both important in developing a better sense of self-awareness. Keep balanced by creating new projects and committing to focus on them, not living an overly-packed life, and devoting time to delve deep into whatever new ideas that captures my fancy.


----------



## brianbsmiley

*(1) why do a lot of you go through different phases in life? What is consistent about it?*
I think mainly because there is so much to experience that when something happens whether it be good or bad, we like to really embrace it and say "Awesome, I went through that and now I am a better/stronger person." We like to experience it all to the extent of almost not getting anything productive done. Unfortunately, the daily routine of waking up and going to work 5 days a week for 8 hours a day is pretty consistent. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the paycheck and the fact that I am actually working for my own money, but man oh man...office work is just NOT for me. It is really brutal and I almost always have to distract myself and take little breaks here and there in order to get through the day...like signing on to PerC  
* (2) what methods do you employ to calm your mind and get into a groove? How does it feel like when your mind gets all scattered and chaotic with a flight of ideas?*
To calm my mind, I usually have to go for long drives or walks somewhere. I LOVE driving. It just takes me to new and interesting places and I don't care about how long I'm out or where I'll end up. That's the fun part of it. It's the time when I can really think to myself and not be distracted.
Normally my mind is all scattered and chaotic so I am so very much used to it XD It's almost like as if my mind isn't thinking of a million things at once then...wait that never happens haha!
* (3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?*
I think my mind kind of goes into a euphoric state. Like I just feel all happy and giddy and I can almost accomplish anything. I also have a sort of confidence about me that really shines through. My smile is wider, my eyes are brighter, and I'm warm and cuddly with people (probably scares some of them lol).
* (4) How do you think the world can get better?*
The world would only be able to get better IMO if people learn embrace the differences in other people. Not everybody is the same. We are all different. We all have different backgrounds and life experiences and if we learn to embrace that then we can all get along. So many poopy heads out there get so upset about anybody who is different than them and they flip out as if they are the boogey man or something. It's like calm down guys...let them live their life the way they want. Go away lol.
* (5) How can people better relate to you? *
I think people would be able to relate to me better if they learn to understand the fact that I really want to do what I want with no boundaries or rules. Understanding that is key to understanding how I am able to learn the best. I can spend hours a day in class or reading a book, but unless I go out in the real world and apply that or learn from real world experiences, I won't be able to really "learn" anything and my mind turns to sludge. 
* (6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane? *
I think self-reflection and future planning for my life have helped me tremendously in learning about myself. I look in the past to see how things went and I plan for the future to help me change that and work on organizing a better plan for that. It is extremely difficult, but when I do it successfully it helps a lot. It also keeps me sane that way my life has at least a little direction and I know where I am KIND of going haha


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## NorweegianGuy

1: The only part i particularly dont like about the "ISFJ" title, is the stereotypical doormat perception. I am under no circumstances a doormat, or have those tendencies. I will break the peace if I have to, but i prefer to keep it intact. 

2: I get practical tasks done easily. A sense of duty drives me to get it done.
I tell people no, and explain to them that i have enough already. This is were our type fail all too often. I like to pretend to be in the view of a 3 person, and watch the situation from that perspective. I give myself a "right" to say no when doing this.

3: I simply feel like the man, and will walk tall. I get this feeling everytime i have sorted ALL of my problems that bothers me. Its almost like a "high" i get. My mood is always stays on top when i have no worries, im on top of my world at this place.

4: If you show true interest, you may get that information. You also need to prove to me that you have a mind that can understand my problems and feelings. I will not share them with objective thinkers on first hand.

5: This question draws a complete blank in my head, lets skip it...

6: How do I relate to myself? I am impressed that someone could answer this question, cause it makes no sense to me 
What strategies to keep me sane... Hmm... I have never worried about this, being slightly insane makes character, and i like to stand out abit.


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## radu

Type Tips said:


> Hi ENFJs,
> 
> This is strictly for your type. This is to get you think about yourself. I was wondering (and you can just answer the questions you want):
> 
> (1) how is it like to lose your identity sometimes and get caught up in what people are doing? How do you ground your identity?
> (2) how do you employ your bird's eye view and ability to see the bigger picture to help others?
> (3) What do you think about and how do you feel like when the world is coming together and makes sense, and you are on the top of it?
> (4) Why do you feel lonely even when you are with people?
> (5) How can people better relate to you?
> (6) How do you better relate to yourself? What strategies do you use to keep you sane?


1. It can be overwhelming, especially if it feels like I'm fighting on multiple fronts (the people in question not being completely open to me helping them AND their problems being difficult). I find it helps to "ground myself" if I take a step back and go into a "let things happen as they may" mode.

2. I help them identify their strengths (and encourage them on them) and their weaknesses (and try to come up with ways to deal with them). Then I usually identify what drives them as a person and point out what I think would really make them happy.

3. I feel good for a short while, after which I feel like I should get back to work since the next great milestone is coming up and we have lots of work to do to accomplish it 

4. Lack of people who are willing to and can understand who I really am on the inside. Too many people taking, not enough giving, around me.

5. See behind my "masks", understand that I'm much more complex than I might seem on the surface. Be willing to listen and take my struggles seriously.


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## Tips

I don't disrespect you. I'm just trying to stir some reflection. I gave that statement to every type.


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## Tips

Great answers. I find this very useful.


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## Tips

Everyone's responses are helpful! Thanks.


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## inregardstomyself

Aizar said:


> 2) Experience, mainly. Sometimes the cues are tiny, sometimes they're gigantic but still only manage to hit me on the head after the fact. Some of my cues include: change in punctuation or grammar from a person's normal ways of speaking (online), tone of voice, where the eyes are pointing and how "restless" they might be, how a person is carrying themselves, how others nearby are acting, tallying up in my head what happened in the past.


This sounds more like Si?
Comparing present information to what has been observed/established in the past. Si is all about experiences.


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## Aizar

inregardstomyself said:


> This sounds more like Si?
> Comparing present information to what has been observed/established in the past. Si is all about experiences.


I'm not really one for function theory. But working within the confines of it...

I think I remember reading somewhere that Ni and Se work together, with Se supplying the cues Ni needs to work on. Somewhere else, that everyone has all 8 functions, some are just weaker than others. For an INFJ, perhaps because so much of Si is filtered through Ni, that Si becomes very downplayed as a result.

Or I might be ISFJ after all!

Those are my best guesses for what's going on. But certainly to me, Ni is fueled by past experiences/associations as well as picking up tiny cues. However, I have to consciously think to use past experiences that way...the cues and putting them all together are more unconscious and much easier.


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