# Struggling INFP ISO college major and life advice



## svearose (Apr 29, 2010)

I spent two reasonably successful years at a notoriously difficult University and then, during my third year, everything fell apart. I've never been the perfect student. I procrastinate as a result of fear or failure and perfectionism. As a result I have always, to some extent, underperformed. But during my third year, I found every paper nearly impossible to complete at all, much less on time. It was excruciating an humiliating and a lot of other unpleasant things that end with -ing. Even though I have at certain points not lived up to my potential, I've never been the sort of person who doesn't do my work. There was a lot going on at home: my father was ill and my parents were struggling financially. Additionally, I found the pressure of finally having to commit to a major terrifying. So, I took a year off. I did some other things: I studied art which has always been a passion, got a job, tried to stop worrying so much. I'm glad I've taken this time, but I still feel much the same way I did at the end of last year: overwhelmed, struggling to complete simple day to day tasks that shouldn't be hard, and utterly paralyzed by the notion of committing to a field of study that may somehow guide my life in a direction that will make me miserable. I think too much, and realize this is mostly ridiculous. It is, nonetheless, something I have little control over. (I know I should see a therapist, but unfortunately my health care plan doesn't cover that and I can't afford it on my own.) 

When I took my leave of absence, I was an Anthropology major and a creative writing minor. I have since decided that Anthropology probably isn't for me, but I'd like to hang onto my writing minor. I need to graduate in the next two years at most, and I don't really have any more time to experiment with classes. I need to settle on something before I start again and stick to it this time. Deep down, I feel resigning myself to Visual Arts is the best option, because it won't be as stressful as a more academic field and creating has always made me happy. It should be simple, shouldn't it? However, I can't help but worry that if I choose Visual Arts, it will hurt my chances of getting into grad school (I've considered art conservation, historic preservation, psychology, architecture, photography, creative writing, or archaeology as potential future courses of study) should I want to pursue academia. I fear, more generally, that it will harm my chances of being taken seriously as an intellectual person period. (Yes, I realize this attitude is ridiculous and ill-informed--I also realize a lot of people ARE ridiculous and ill-informed.) Mostly, I want to ensure that I have the option, post undergraduate, to go on and do something that is engaging and exciting (and ideally pays well enough that I don't have to live in a box). Do any of you have any experience with this? Or advice on making important, scary life decisions? Or helpful tactics to push the fear out, and go on living life? Any insights would be appreciated really. Thank you and sorry for the long, rambling, somewhat incoherent post!


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## ledzeppy (Apr 29, 2010)

*difficult*

the main struggle i had in school was that since i was so quiet, everyone thought i was stuck up. oh well, you won't be thinking about it for long


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## Just_Some_Guy (Oct 8, 2009)

Holy smokes, you sound like my INFP college roommate, right down to the Anthro major. 

You need to make decisions. I understand that the INFP mindset is brilliantly capable of detecting seemingly each and every future possibility and outcome of every possible decision, but this awareness will cripple you. With my old roommate, I want to grab him by the collar and just yell at him for a while as he seems _incapable _of making decision about his future. 

This is the one ridiculous part of this mindset; the INFP can't seem to notice that if they don't make a decision, they go _no where_. Keep that in mind next time you just spin your gears for a while and see that as your future.


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## autumnbree03 (Mar 13, 2009)

Sometimes the craziness you are dealing with is the only way to sift through life and find what your calling really is. Sometimes the struggle IS the way you find your way, forcing you to ask questions you would never ask, go places you never would otherwise and end up finding things that change the way you see your world. 

I know that's not an answer, but I spent so long trying the same thing, jumping from one random class to the next and running around terrified that I would never find my place. But one day I picked up a book on type and though I'm still struggling to make sense of it all, I am so much farther than I've ever been and can finally breathe just a little bit easier.

You know what, the best choice I made in it all was when I walked into the career center at my university and sat down with the first counselor that I feel has ever really HEARD my story and stating that I didn't want to have to relay it all over again to someone else yet again... Sometimes, all it takes is the right guide. And the career center may not seem like the place to go when you're trying to figure out what classes to take or major to choose, but in the end that major is something you want to take you down the path leading to your career calling. I would say start there and don't let them try to get you to go to academic advising, find the right career counselor even if you have to see a couple to click, it really can make all the difference!

I hope this helps... If you need more, I can try to help as I work for the career center at my university now helping students just like you- in fact, that is my calling!!


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## Ungweliante (Feb 26, 2009)

Go back to your core questions. Do not think of what subject you have to choose, but what you truly want to find out. Ask yourself: "What are my primary wishes for life / what purpose do I vision for myself ?". Do not suppress thoughts that seem impossible. The only way you can find out what you want is by being absolutely honest with yourself.

My sympathies, as well as wishes of strength and depth of vision.


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