# the worst job interview question!



## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

I screwed up that "what is your weakness" question so bad the last time! I remembered that someone told me to put a positive spin on it, and then I got confused and it came out as, "I'm a perfectionist - you know, nit-picky and stuff. But I mean it could also be a strength! I guess.."


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

I have no idea how I would answer the weakness question. If I was honest, nobody would ever hire me, but I can't lie. 

I suppose I'd be like, "It would be hard to describe them all. I'm introspective and mostly self-aware, so I have them all categorized in my head. Would you like to hear about my social troubles, my problems with authority, my fear of conformity, my unpredictable homicidal panics that are only kept in check by my moral pacifism, or how I cry uncontrollably when criticized and have panic attacks when shamed for it, when I am expected to be able to just choose to stop doing it as though it was something I was doing willfully? How about my need to withdraw when overstimulated, especially when I have to be around other people for more than a few hours at a time, or the fact that I might have some kind of depersonalization disorder that makes me forget I have a body and neglect basic hygiene and survival needs, or how I have been called "possibly psychotic" by two different mental-health professionals? 

Do you want to hear about my spiritual troubles, and how I am always doomed to be a hypocrite because of my unwavering idealism, how I am unable to love my enemies despite my values? Do you want to hear about how I tend to form creepy bonds with anyone I can even slightly relate to as an attempt to remedy some kind of unfulfilled childhood need to feel connected and included, or how I fight everyone I meet, no matter how much I like them, because I feel threatened by most disagreements and terrified of abandonment? Which flaw do you want? 

How about the fact that I tend to over-share trivial details about myself and tell people everything I am feeling, regardless of the social rules and expectations, which are completely alien to me and impossible to remember? How about the fact that I can't fill out forms because I have no memory for anything involving numbers or dates? How about the fact that if I have to wake up at the same time every morning, it screws up my natural sleep cycle so badly that I will be cloudy-headed and irritable, perhaps to the point of being incompetent, until my sleep patterns cycle around again? 

Perhaps you want to hear about how uncommon my values are and how I feel like I am always swimming upstream, passionately lashing out against everything around me so that I am under constant stress and live in a state of perpetual defensiveness, how I feel oppressed for every detail of who and what I am. Perhaps I should tell you about my addiction to masturbation which I have repeatedly and unsuccessfully attempted to break, or how I have intrusive, obsessive thoughts when I feel even slightly accepted by someone I think could handle me. 

Perhaps I should mention how awkward I am when I try to communicate in actual words instead of just typing, and how I find it impossible to relax around other people. Maybe you want to hear about how I feel unsettled inside when I have to be in one location for more than a year at a time, when I am expected to live according to any kind of routine. Perhaps you want to know how I am completely incapable of organizing anything even when I try as hard as I am able. Which flaws would be most relevant?"


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## Shemp (Mar 29, 2011)

Shemp said:


> While being interviewed for a position at Walmart the manager asks the question, "How can we be certain that you aren't just using this job as a springboard into another job?" I looked him dead in the eye and said, "Because I've always wanted to be a cashier at Walmart. While other children were pretending to shoot each other, play tag and eat bugs I was memorizing product codes, aisle numbers and practicing my accuracy with a target gun." There was a long moment of silence before he said he'll call if I get the job.


 Just to be clear, I got the job. He liked my enthusiasm and attitude.


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## Nadine M. Viores (May 24, 2011)

I usually try to research the company I apply for before going because otherwise the question "how do you think you can benefit this company?" creeps up on me and without knowing the companies weaknesses that I can help improve, then its like uhmm let me tell you what's wrong with this company without actually knowing and how I can fix the imaginary issue I just made up because I really have no idea! Usually improving communication and morale seems to be an overall issue in most companies. I do however love the job I have now. (^.^)


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## Nadine M. Viores (May 24, 2011)

Shemp said:


> Just to be clear, I got the job. He liked my enthusiasm and attitude.


This didnt quote the whole thing, but OMG I loved your response to his question! Honestly, Im all for growth and development! lol... I get such a kick out of things sometimes (^.^)


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## Shemp (Mar 29, 2011)

Nadine M. Viores said:


> This didnt quote the whole thing, but OMG I loved your response to his question! Honestly, Im all for growth and development! lol... I get such a kick out of things sometimes (^.^)


Well it was me quoting me. The manager hired me mainly because I worked my ass off at the warehouses, that and he liked my upbeat attitude. For once making a sarcastic joke put me ahead of everyone else.


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## Nadine M. Viores (May 24, 2011)

Shemp said:


> Well it was me quoting me. The manager hired me mainly because I worked my ass off at the warehouses, that and he liked my upbeat attitude. For once making a sarcastic joke put me ahead of everyone else.


 
I know, but I mean when I clicked "reply with quote" it didnt quote the part of your message I loved and made me almost fall off my seat:laughing:, giggles. I'm really glad it helped you though! (^.^) People who work hard deserve more.


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## Annihilatron (Dec 11, 2010)

Me to potential employee: "Could you spit out that gum?"


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## FreeSpirit (Jun 1, 2011)

I hate the question (I paraphrase), "What salary do you expect?" Because it annoys me
that I can't ask, "Whatdoya got?" You can't be too funny in interviews. They'll think
you're a flake.


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## Nymma (Apr 24, 2010)

I loath being asked:

1) "Give me an example when you showed leadership in your life"--Um, how about this, I'm a horrible leader, have skipped classes just to avoid leadership positions, and I can only work well on my own.

2)"Give me an example when you overcome a stressful situation"--Yeah, because I'm going to spill my beans about my weakest moments just to get a job I will hate anyway...Not that I faced anything that would be considered, by the average person, as "stressful". Well, I suppose that getting lost with a friend at Central Park in a school trip would count, but because it reveals my marvelous skills of observation, it's obviously not going to impress the boss. 

3)"What's the best way you can learn?"--Well...let me put it this way: I can't learn by observation, I can't learn experimentally, I can't learn by memorizing,so basically, I can't learn....If I watch you show me how this and that is supposed to be done, I won't remember, or even understand how you did it. I am slow. My senses are not developped. I am not a visual learner, my spatial intelligence is crap,can't remember any order or direction expressed verbally, and I screw up anything that requires working with my hands, so...Tell me, how do I learn?

I learn by...reflecting, imagining possibilities, reading,connecting the dots, thinking things logically. That's it. All book Smart, zero Streets smarts. All summer jobs consist of using physical techniques, working with technological systems(which, btw, I am crap at, too!I am incompetent with machines)or following basic taks, which I'm incapable of. Oh, and before i forget, I'm extremly clumsy, so I will probably end up breaking valuable stuff and losing the store quite a bit of money. So, yeah...I'm going to be the most incompetent employee you have ever heard of, but p-p-p-uh-lease,hire me anyway.

Pff, I certainly wouldn't hire me if I was giving me an interview.


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## Heaven Star (Jun 18, 2011)

Interviewer: Why do you want this job?
In my head: Errr, cos I need the money mofo!
What I actually say: I feel that this would be a good opportunity for me to make use of my communication skills in a way that can blah blah blah blah (totally lying, I'm a total introvert, I don't have communication skills, and I hate people!!!)


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## USAdefender (Jun 20, 2011)

I know it's important for them to ask "So, why do you want to work for us?", but one of the most recent interviews I had they kept asking it because they didn't seem to like my first answer. I kept thinking, "Ok, look. I'm sorry I don't have your wonderful magic-word answer to your question, but don't ask me again because I told you the first time and it was my honest answer." Sheesh, folks! I thought honesty is what they want in interviews, especially in law enforcement.


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## Voodo Chile (Jul 6, 2011)

I remember applying for a job once at this store and you had to do it online. And they had this really long process of elimination. You do stuff like choose what 'part of the team' you would like to be. would you like to be a 'stock import manager','clinical sales clerk','information shelf manager' and some other bullshit terms i've never heard of and then they had 2 really obvious choices which were 'checkout' and 'working in the basement'. 
And i was sitting there thinking, since when did the warehouse have a giant basement? Oh well sounds like a respectable position.

Then you have to phone up and talk to an answering machine. "tell us why you would want to work at the warehouse". 
"what makes you the perfect candidate for the job". The process of elimination sure worked though. The questions were the ones how you put bullshit in but in real life if you were bluntly honest you would answer all of them with "Becuase you are a chain company and you are able to hire multiple unskilled workers" and "the only reason i am working here is because i want money".
By the time i finished the phone call stage was over i was entirely convinced that i should not work there. And that i thought that rubbing oil on hairy fat guys chests was probably a less degrading job than applying for a job at the warehouse


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## Sheppard (Jul 4, 2011)

the worst question I have ever had, one that took me completely by surprise was

What are the three largest mountains in Europe and how tall are they?

What the what? 

This was a data entry job, by the way. It had ZERO relevance to the job.


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## silmarillion (Dec 11, 2010)

"Tell me about yourself."



"My name is XXX. I'm 18 years old. Not that you care, you're just out of questions, right? Oh, anyhow. I like strawberries and I read a lot of poetry. Sometimes I dance around in my flat pretending to be Michael Jackson. I like people, except some few kinds of people. They always like me though. And, by the way, my grades are awesome. It doesn't matter in this company because you don't care if I got an A in history, I'm just gonna sit in a counter and smile and count money, but you asked me a broad question, so blame yourself."


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## TARZAN (Jul 5, 2011)

4 pages in, I'm positive this has been said...

But the "what are your weaknesses" question is tough for me. I understand that I need to give an answer sufficient to prove that I can critique myself, but I don't want to show myself to be too weak for the position.

-Will


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## telepariah (Jun 20, 2011)

I think the 5 year question, the weakness question, and the tell me about yourself question are all indicators that the interviewer has put basically zero thought into how to interview for the job. I take them as huge red flags. My advice to anyone job hunting is arrive prepared with questions based on researching the company and that can lead the discussion to what you can contribute based on the experiences you have had and the good things you have done. Remember, you are interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you. If you ask enough good questions, maybe the lame ones will never come up. If you can accomplish that, you've had a good interview.

But the worst question I have ever heard in an interview was one in which my boss and I were interviewing a woman I worked with at another company. My boss asked her, "So when is your due date?" She just got up and left, saying, "I think I can show myself the door." and I sat there staring at my boss thinking, what a fucking tool!


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## telepariah (Jun 20, 2011)

Sheppard said:


> the worst question I have ever had, one that took me completely by surprise was
> 
> What are the three largest mountains in Europe and how tall are they?
> 
> ...


The scary thing is I think I know the answers. Not the exact elevations, but this is some of the useless trivia stored in my noggin. :laughing:


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## Figure (Jun 22, 2011)

For a finance job I was once asked to estimate the total value of the room I was sitting in. In management consulting interviews, they ask questions like "how many hamburgers are eaten in America in a year?" or "how much money does Fenway Park make in concessions sales for one game?" 

I actually enjoy them


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## Vtile (Feb 27, 2011)

> "Where do you see yourself in 5 years"?


Your side of the desk asking a new canditate the same question.



> "have you met anyone hard to deal with during job"


I'm sorry to say this, but you are the first one.



Annihilatron said:


> "Could you spit out that gum?"


You wan't some?



> "What salary do you expect?"


What do you have in your mind and add a 50% more?



> "For a finance job I was once asked to estimate the total value of the room"


Straring ..there is a pile of old junk and two morons it couldn't be much over ten bucks.

...I hate interviews, allways got my jobs from backdoor.


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