# Women Bosses vs. Men Bosses



## 66393 (Oct 17, 2013)

Ulyana said:


> Personal opinion on this is likely dependent upon which parent you felt was the less threatening authority.


Hmm. You're close, but I'm pretty sure this is simply a manifestation of the sexual attraction OP has for his mother.


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## BlackMoonlight (Oct 16, 2012)

I'm more comfortable around men generally, so I prefer having male bosses. Also, the last female boss I had was a major bitch. The new female manager I work under seems to be very different, but overall, men are easier for me to relate to.


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## chanteuse (May 30, 2014)

Personality and maturity are more important than gender when it comes to managing people. 

I've been working full time for close to 30 years at various companies and have had many supervisors, male and female. The stereotypical impression that females (especially during PMS and menopause) are wacky and irrational isn't so for most of the female supervisors I've had. One or two emotional rollercoasters yes, but mostly the female sups are compassionate, patient, understanding, and fair.

Male are not always straight forward and logical. I've had a couple of male sups who are hotheads. One in particular would scream and yell when emotion overtook him. Did I get upset? No, because I knew he wasn't being mean. It's just his way to let out steam. 

The thing is, some people, no matter how hard you try, you will not like or get along with. I don't expect all my sups to like me or vice versa.

Whenever you have a difficult boss/sup, just remember that at least you are not married to him/her. That'd be a much worse fate don't you think?


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## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

I think this really depends on the individual. I've had one awesome female boss, one awesome male boss, one so-so female boss, and one so-so male boss. My current boss' boss, who has a lot of say over what I do, is phenomenal...he's a pleasure to work for.

There's also a degree to which personality/life experiences/preferences influences it. So where I saw the first two as awesome and the latter two as so-so, someone else may have the opposite view or a different view altogether.

I think it boils down to the individual.


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## Handsome Jack (May 31, 2015)

Main differences I've experienced:

Women bosses micromanage a lot. They get up all in your space, dictate your time, and follow you every step of the way to ensure the project is done to their liking and specifications. The upside is that ambiguity and confusion are minimized -- instructions are always clear and it's difficult to get lost. They are much more approachable with work related conversations than non-work related conversations.

Men bosses can't be bothered with the details and tend to be disorganized and rushed. They just want it done by any means but they don't want to spend time instructing you how to do it. You need to just 'figure it out' and if you don't it's your fault. The upside is that they're much more relaxed and low stress in general throughout the life of the project. They are much more approachable with non-work related conversations than work related conversations.

I've learned a lot more material from female bosses so I prefer them if I'm brand new to the subject matter. However, once I know the subject matter I prefer male bosses so I have the freedom to execute my work my way.


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## Biracial (Sep 8, 2010)

More about management style than any other factor.


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## Monty (Jul 12, 2011)

Imagine this thread topic being the other way around...


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## EccentricSiren (Sep 3, 2013)

I think it really depends on the individual boss. I've had both male and female bosses who've annoyed the living daylights out of me and both male and female bosses who I thought were great. I think I've also realized it's easier to like the boss if you also like the work. If I hate the job to begin with, when I start getting annoyed, everything about the job seems annoying: the clients, the company policies, the boss...If I like the work I'm doing, even if the boss does something I'd normally be bothered by, I'm willing to mentally let it slide, at least if it's something minor. 
I recently worked a seasonal job where I really liked the main boss (a man) and my immediate supervisors (mainly women). I liked them because they were willing to help me sort out the ins and outs of what I needed to do, they made it clear what they expected but were reasonable about it, didn't act like they were better than us, and were just generally very supportive. I felt slightly more comfortable around the women, but I think it had more to do with their position than their gender. I felt a little intimidated by the man until I knew he liked me as a person, but I think that was mostly because he was the main boss, not because he was male. (Even though, I think the fact that in some ways, he reminded me of another man I am very attracted to may have played into it as well, and that wouldn't have happened if he'd been a woman.)
Of the bosses I didn't like, I think the female boss that I found the most irritating was someone who tried too hard to be nice to me but came across as patronizing instead. Since she came across as nice and there wasn't something concrete I could point out, it was harder to call her on her behavior. The male boss that was the most difficult was just really volatile and I never knew what would piss him off.


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## bigstupidgrin (Sep 26, 2014)

I've had bad male bosses, bad female bosses, and good bosses of both genders. Bad bosses usually are micromanagers, conformity-pushers, who are too obsessed with what's correct for the moment and not building up their employees. 

Ironically both genders can display that "manning up" mentality that I hate. Which means I probably shouldn't call it "manning up" anymore. Equality...?


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## Morpheus83 (Oct 17, 2008)

No idea, but I remember once taking a postgrad library management class where more female students bitched about their horrible, horrible female bosses. One 'memorable' story: on the online class forum, a student posted about her female boss, who allegedly seduced and slept with just about every male subordinate. And the boss treated the female subordinates like dirt. Are people more likely to have issues with same-sex bosses?


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

this might come as a surprise given I grill people for being willfully ignorant of physiological gender differences, but honestly, I'd take a female manager any day of the week. they tend to be more gentle, cooperative, subtle, less trying to compete with you and manage you at the same time


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## He's a Superhero! (May 1, 2013)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> this might come as a surprise given I grill people for being willfully ignorant of physiological gender differences, but honestly, I'd take a female manager any day of the week. they tend to be more gentle, cooperative, subtle, less trying to compete with you and manage you at the same time


I'd take a good manager any day, regardless of their gender.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

My experience has been about even either direction. 

Albeit personality could have a play in this...

For example I would rather work under either a male or female that is going to excel and likely is more suited for leadership roles....
i.e. A healthy.... ESTJ, ENTJ, ENFJ, ENFP, ESTP (I think those specific types probably are good managers in different ways.) I would rather work under a healthy male or female of a type more inclined to excel in that role then under either gender in a not so leadership personality type. 

Sorry I do not want to work under a stereotype of a certain types that stand out I dont give a shit whether its a guy or a girl. I would guess an ISxJ in stereotype I mean by average would be a psycho with small man (or woman) complex, I would guess working under an INxP would mean following a yellow brick road of complete unproductivity. Of course there are exceptions I am generalizing here.


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## AriesLilith (Jan 6, 2013)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> this might come as a surprise given I grill people for being willfully ignorant of physiological gender differences, but honestly, I'd take a female manager any day of the week. they tend to be more gentle, cooperative, subtle, less trying to compete with you and manage you at the same time


I suppose that there are some physiological differences that can influence management styles and interactions, and then cultural baggage due to gender can have influence too. Thought personality and environment come into play too, and more than often empathy and assertivity levels of a manager as well as their personal experiences has a huge influence. I've seen female managers being more assertive in some cases, and male managers that are too gentle, a well as male managers that are heartless executioners.

IMO the best managers are both empathetic and assertive, as too much gentleness without the capacity to make what needs to be done happen can be very bad too.


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## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

Cinnamon83 said:


> My experience has been about even either direction.
> 
> Albeit personality could have a play in this...
> 
> ...


This is an interesting comment. You're right - certain types are much better suited to certain types of leadership than others, though of course there are always exceptions. I've personally found that ExTJs are usually pretty good, but have some micromanaging tendencies; NJs typically are good with strategic planning; NFJs are typically great interpersonally but have some tendency towards tunnel vision; SFJs are often quite competent but find leadership stressful; SFs are really good with human relations; INxPs can be good managers of small specialized domains but often dislike the interpersonal demands of leadership; ExxPs are typically great at fast-paced changing conditions but get bored with routine; STs are typically best at applied skill leadership.


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## pertracto (Sep 4, 2015)

I don't like to generalise, so what I'll say now is purely subjective and based on my personal experience. I must say I don't really care about the gender of my boss but I'd rather have one who isn't nagging me all the time and who doesn't try to be my friend (argh I hate familiarities on the workplace) and it seems that men bosses do it better.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

angelfish said:


> This is an interesting comment. You're right - certain types are much better suited to certain types of leadership than others, though of course there are always exceptions. I've personally found that ExTJs are usually pretty good, but have some micromanaging tendencies; NJs typically are good with strategic planning; NFJs are typically great interpersonally but have some tendency towards tunnel vision; SFJs are often quite competent but find leadership stressful; SFs are really good with human relations; INxPs can be good managers of small specialized domains but often dislike the interpersonal demands of leadership; ExxPs are typically great at fast-paced changing conditions but get bored with routine; STs are typically best at applied skill leadership.


I probably was not being very fair in my post at all. I thought of the healthy version of the types listed for pro, but the unhealthy stereotypes and associations of those I listed as likely not suited. Not exactly a good comparison, or reasonable. My apologizes because it was not a very fair comparison at all. For example I would rather work under you then many insane unhealthy versions of some of the types I listed based on what I have seen from YOU here. You probably generalized much better then me. :blushed: in your post as far as temperaments and pros and cons.


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## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

Cinnamon83 said:


> I probably was not being very fair in my post at all. I thought of the healthy version of the types listed for pro, but the unhealthy stereotypes and associations of those I listed as likely not suited. Not exactly a good comparison, or reasonable. My apologizes because it was not a very fair comparison at all. For example I would rather work under you then many insane unhealthy versions of some of the types I listed based on what I have seen from YOU here. You probably generalized much better then me. :blushed: in your post as far as temperaments and pros and cons.


Oh, well, thank you for the compliments! I thought you raised a quality point though! I just sat and thought about my reflections on it. You said yourself that there are many exceptions. I think often introverts and Ps are less interested in leadership, so naturally we have less examples of them leading, and probably more examples of them being stressed while leading.


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## Swede (Apr 2, 2013)

I've only had 4 direct managers since I graduated. 
3 men, 1 woman. 
2 really good ones and 2 really bad ones. 

The good ones have very different styles. 
- My very first boss ( who hired me on) was extremely detailed oriented and expected full reports that he commented on with a red marker. lol. Today, I'd probably hate his style, but I learned a lot from him. I must say that you really need to know and understand what the heck you are doing when you write a report. Plus as an INTJ, detailed reports can be something of a turn-on to write...
- My current boss is an INTP. He recognized pretty quickly what my unique strengths are and is using those to the max, which is funny since he is not a real INTJ cognitive functions admirer - he specifically hates detail oriented thinking. But since a lot of what we do is detail dependent, he puts me on those projects. Win-win for both of us. He does have clear favorites though, which is a bit of a turn-off. A lot of chit-chatting in the lab with his 'buddies'. 

The bad ones were sexist, and more concerned with their own sucking-up than building their department and invest in their people's development/careers. 
- The woman was absolutely worst - ugh! She pretty much got laid off. Sad that out of the very sparse amount of women managers we have in my company, they always seem to pick the most incompetent candidates they can find. Sometimes I wonder if it's not deliberate. 
- The man was extremely bad too - all women employers fled his department ASAP. I enjoyed kicking his ass a couple of times since - made him look utterly incompetent by totally out shining him in a few important meetings where we were presenting. Revenge is a dish best served by being superior in the kitchen. ;-)

tl;dr - IMO has less to do with gender of manager/employee than with
a) general competence of manager (and employee)
b) potentially also personality matches/vibes
c) ability of people to stay professional even though the situation might not be ideal


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## Wellsy (Oct 24, 2011)

Swede said:


> Revenge us a dish best served by being superior in the kitchen. ;-)


XD Gonna have to remember that one


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