# ENTJ disappearing acts



## 11omen (Jun 2, 2011)

I'm an ENTJ. Yesterday I read this post on ENTJs having the habit of running away, or disappearing without any notice. I found it funny cos I do that alot. . . for many of the times I just feel that their not worth my time (lol) but even with relationships that to me is going so great but I just have the urge to take control of my emotions before they take control of me... That's when I just stop talking to the person out of the blue... and come back like nothing happened. idk why I do that.... is it just me or is it my temperament?....


----------



## Monkey King (Nov 16, 2010)

I've dubbed that the "M.I.A-phase." 

I don't intentionally disappear on someone. I just get consumed with other things in my life that maintaining consistent communication with someone is difficult. It's nothing personal. 

When I reappear in someone's life, it really is like no time has passed. It's become a way for me to pinpoint who my real friends are.


----------



## Mr.Adrian (Oct 11, 2010)

Same here. But I am not used to the fact I was doing this. My esfj mom said that I zone out a lot. I used to get pissed, but it didn't take long to know how to explain my behaviour. I said to her. "to get to her point immediately or I will zone out. This is the way my brain works and deal with it." It works actually.

Nuance is I explain this to my friends only. The rest I do care less about their opinion on this.

cheers


----------



## JackSparroww (Dec 10, 2010)

Aila8 said:


> I don't intentionally disappear on someone. I just get consumed with other things in my life that maintaining consistent communication with someone is difficult. It's nothing personal.
> 
> When I reappear in someone's life, it really is like no time has passed. It's become a way for me to pinpoint who my real friends are.


^^ This 100%. I wonder if this a phaenomena exclusive to entjs ?


----------



## Siggy (May 25, 2009)

Its my defense mechanisms kicking in. I hate commitment, any kind, so when things get close; and i use the term close very loosely, I'm out of there. Its sort of a reflex action.


----------



## JackSparroww (Dec 10, 2010)

I thought similiary but I am not so sure if its only about comitment for me. I usually pride myself in being comitted and dedicated think for me its really more about just forgetting about some people. 

I was always impressed by people who get called on their phones by like 50 different persons a day and they can smalltalk with anyone. I do that to but with business partners and we talk about tasks and appointments.


----------



## 11omen (Jun 2, 2011)

Dear Sigmund said:


> Its my defense mechanisms kicking in. I hate commitment, any kind, so when things get close; and i use the term close very loosely, I'm out of there. Its sort of a reflex action.


OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! that's how it feels like!... I would date a guy but as it's progressing he would start taking it too seriously and I would bounce...


----------



## 11omen (Jun 2, 2011)

entropie said:


> I thought similiary but I am not so sure if its only about comitment for me.* I usually pride myself in being comitted and dedicated* think for me its really more about just forgetting about some people.
> 
> I was always impressed by people who get called on their phones by like 50 different persons a day and *they can smalltalk with anyone. I do that to but with business partners and we talk about tasks and appointments.*


I second that. I'm committed at what I do especially school and work. I get that done, it always comes first. Not with boyfriend/girlfriend relationships... that annoys me and scares me at the same time...

Small talk is easy... i can small talk with anyone. but expressing myself and telling someone else how i feel about them blabla... partly because I don't want my emotions taking over. I hate that. and my commitment issue.. i don't wnat them to start thinking i'm committed to them because I runaway alot >.<


----------



## Monkey King (Nov 16, 2010)

> I do that to but with business partners and we talk about tasks and appointments.


Yes, it usually is that. But sometimes, small talk about [insert something] can create a "friendship." Though the friendship is typically superficial, it makes communicating a lot easier.


----------



## n2freedom (Jun 2, 2011)

11omen said:


> I'm an ENTJ. Yesterday I read this post on ENTJs having the habit of running away, or disappearing without any notice. I found it funny cos I do that alot. . . for many of the times I just feel that their not worth my time (lol) but even with relationships that to me is going so great but I just have the urge to take control of my emotions before they take control of me... That's when I just stop talking to the person out of the blue... and come back like nothing happened. idk why I do that.... is it just me or is it my temperament?....


I'm not ENTJ but can relate to the disappearing without notice. I think I tend to act this way when I need to regroup and try to figure out my own emotions. OR, when I perceive someone is attempting to take advantage of me. AND/OR taking too many liberties with me and I don't think they are appropriate for the level of friendship/relationship that I have with them. OR, if I feel that someone is trying to control me *<====* especially this one.


----------



## Aaron Boal (Jun 2, 2011)

Nighty88 said:


> I zone out a lot. I used to get pissed, but it didn't take long to know how to explain my behaviour. I said to her. "to get to her point immediately or I will zone out. This is the way my brain works and deal with it." It works actually.


As an INTJ, I zone out a lot when I am thinking about something intently. So much so that I can walk down the street, deep in thought, that I can be back at home without even realising it.


----------



## Sketchy Cadet (Jan 8, 2011)

When I move to a new envornments, I have yet to keep in contact with anyone from the old. It's precisely because I'm so buisy, and then I eventually (accidentally) forget about them alltogether.

I got a Facebook this year, I doubt that will solve this non-issue.

Oh, and it's also very easy to intnetionally cut out "bad people". If I have no contact for aproxamately two weeks, it is as if the emotionally festering problem's solved. Three months later, it's properly stored away, and I can even have a short conversation with them and have "no hard feelings" and whatnot.

You're not alone.


----------

