# Are rationals and idealists truly the best for each other?



## bizarreusername (Apr 22, 2011)

Keirsey's PersonalityZone - Personality and Your Relationships
I'm a female INTP, and I find myself attracted to ENFJ-type males, so maybe Keirsey's onto something.

What do you think? (Anecdotes help.)


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## ProfessorLiver (Mar 19, 2011)

The only two relationships I've had with NFs ended badly, so I don't know. It's one of those things that up to individual variation. I prefer SPs myself.

Edit: I like how the protray the INTP as being always right


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

I'm an intp, and my experiences with Ss have always been that we won't form the kind of connection that I'm looking for, because we won't fully understand one another. With nfs, invariably I'm going to end up working them into a state of depression from my insensitivity (and I end up angry all the time, feeling like I'm backed into a corner by their emotions). With other nts its been more varied. They speak my language, at least. That gives us something to work with.


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## Mr.Xl Vii (Jan 19, 2011)

NFs are the only girls that fall for me. ENFPs can't get enough of me, my only INFJ female friend seems to enjoy my company, but she probably doesn't think I'm mature enough to actually date. She's gorgeous though and I could see something forming. I've had a couple of ENFJs fall for me, but I've never dated one. INFPs cant stand me, I'm too insensitive.

I have a thing for NT girls as well. ENTP girls are goddesses, but it's hard to break through that all too familiar emotional distance. NTJ girls are uptight and sexy, but it takes a while for them to fall for my charm. I dont know any INTP girls.

The NT/NT thing works because we're both emotionally distant, so we get each other. The NF/NT thing is awesome for us NTs, but I dont know how the NFs feel. I could imagine our distance might be bothersome to them, but at the same time I know they like our wit and stuff so who knows.


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## Pillow (Apr 17, 2011)

The main problem with the theories of which types go well together is that there is so much variation within a type. My husband is ENTP with F tendencies, so he is similar to ENTP stereotypes in some ways, but very different in others. I think broadly speaking you can say, for example, Ns and Ss tend to have difficulty communicating but I know a number of successful N-S marriages so I'm not sure to what extent these ideas are accurate.


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## counterintuitive (Apr 8, 2011)

I am naturally fairly 'cold'. I have many layers of detachment and emotional distance. I would guess (having never been in a relationship) that NFs would try to bridge that distance and (over)compensate for my coldness, whereas other NTs would be similarly distant themselves, resulting in the NT-NT 'ice age' relationship.


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## TiNeSi (Jan 10, 2011)

I'm less and less convinced by temparement theory. The more it goes, the more I find that I have an easier time communicating with other good Ti users (Ti dom, aux or tertiary).


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## HarpFluffy (Feb 15, 2011)

Which one is the rational and which is the idealist?


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

HarpFluffy said:


> Which one is the rational and which is the idealist?


Him=idealist
Her=Rational


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## Monkey King (Nov 16, 2010)

HarpFluffy said:


> Which one is the rational and which is the idealist?


 Her holding the heart can lead people to believe she's the idealist. I've done things like that before as a means to poke fun at mooshy stuff.......


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## suicidal_orange (May 6, 2010)

TiNeSi said:


> I'm less and less convinced by temparement theory. The more it goes, the more I find that I have an easier time communicating with other good Ti users (Ti dom, aux or tertiary).


I agree with this, all three of the "INFJ"s I got talking to on here now consider themselves Ps - Fi/Te users as I am. I'd quite like to talk to an XSFP to see if the N matters as much as it's supposed to...


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## day_dreamer (Nov 8, 2010)

I personally get feel very comfortable with NFs, but I tend to hurt them unintentionally with my in-sensitiveness (and feel bad about it later)


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## mockingbird girl (Apr 26, 2011)

day_dreamer said:


> I personally get feel very comfortable with NFs, but I tend to hurt them unintentionally with my in-sensitiveness (and feel bad about it later)


I am concerned about doing this too. I can be fairly clumsy at times with people's feelings. It seems to me that NTs have a little more pause in them. What I mean is that, I might ask a question that could be taken as offensive or accusatory and the NTs seem to wait just a bit for me to clarify. They then realize maybe I worded it poorly or 
I just am looking for information, not attacking them. Nice and smooth communication, not defensive. It can be a bit cool though.
I wonder how the NFs react. I don't know enough in real life to get an accurate sampling.


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## Innovatrix (Mar 16, 2011)

I feel an automatic love connection with NFs. I can pick one out quicker than I can find any other type. All of my best friends have been NFs, and NFs and NTs just get me. I don't have to explain my motives (most of the time I don't even know what they are) as often, and N-types get subtlety a hell of a lot easier than S-types. I swear, every S I've tried to hint at something with just doesn't get it. And I know a girl ISFJ who literally has NO imagination. (Also, she's a bitch and I hate her.) I understand she's an extreme example of all S-types, but that's my main fear with SJs and SPs.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

INTP and E/INFJ seems like a potentially VERY good combo if the INTP lets him/herself to be drawn out the way that the E/INFJ naturally wants to do. Both types would understand the need for alone time, particularly the I-I combo. 

If the INTP is immature, then the emotional distance would kill things; if the E/INFJ is immature, then the constant attempts to "break into" the INTP's shell would be resented as nagging. 

Given that both types are a bit hesitant about initiating, it might take decades to get started. :wink:


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## WildWinds (Mar 9, 2010)

The only NF's I've really felt connections with are INFP's. I have a close INFP friend who is by far one of the most intellectual people I know. He gives most NT's a run for their money. He's really into studying philosophy and religion and science, I just love talking to him. Totally different perspective on things, we can just get so much out of each other. I think a relationship with an intellectual INFP would be pretty fulfilling.

Other than that, I think my best match is probably another NT. Ideally, INTJ. But I think INTP would work as well.


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## nevermore (Oct 1, 2010)

Yes, according to Kiersey we have more in common with NF's than SJ's and SP's (who are supposed to be the most dissimilar to us, though I would say that depends on the type of NT), and while I disagree with him on several points I am on his side for this one. However, quite naturally the greatest similarities _tend_ to be between other NT's, and I suspect people of similar "middle letters" (NF, NT, SF, ST). Functionally this doesn't seem to make sense, but I think just having logical and intuitive functions in strong places implies similarity in lifestyle, which matters a lot when it comes to getting along in a relationship.

I would take an NF over a Sensor though, just based on experience I have less in common with them. As I and others have noted several times, it's the N/S function that seems to make the greatest difference, even if like me you aren't N/S dominant.


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## House (Jun 18, 2011)

I think you might just be right bizarreusername


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## House (Jun 18, 2011)

nevermore said:


> Yes, according to Kiersey we have more in common with NF's than SJ's and SP's (who are supposed to be the most dissimilar to us, though I would say that depends on the type of NT), and while I disagree with him on several points I am on his side for this one. However, quite naturally the greatest similarities _tend_ to be between other NT's, and I suspect people of similar "middle letters" (NF, NT, SF, ST). Functionally this doesn't seem to make sense, but I think just having logical and intuitive functions in strong places implies similarity in lifestyle, which matters a lot when it comes to getting along in a relationship.
> 
> I would take an NF over a Sensor though, just based on experience I have less in common with them. As I and others have noted several times, it's the N/S function that seems to make the greatest difference, even if like me you aren't N/S dominant.


I completely agree with you.
You saved me the hassle of explaining this lol.


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## nevermore (Oct 1, 2010)

House said:


> I completely agree with you.
> You saved me the hassle of explaining this lol.


lol, thanks :happy:


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