# Money



## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

I was homeless for 2 years where I spent most of my time alone and hiding from people. I had a small amount of money, which I spent on socks and water and I even bought a tent which ended up getting filled with water. I spent my days hiding from the heat, from the rain, and from the cold. Exercise, meditation, and eating were my daily doses of reality. But I would spend much time in another realm. I would see ghosts and angels and even had the power of remote viewing where I could see other people. 

However I traveled back to my family after they would help me out financially. My grandma gave me a car and I got a job through connections my mom had. It paid 22 an hour and allowed me to pay rent for the first time ever. I'm in a place called homes of compassion where they give homeless ppl a place to pay rent. However they are in debt and it seems I'm the only one paying rent. The people who work here all seem like addicts and I think one even died. They didn't tell me how she died but she was in her 30s or 40s so I'm guessing she was murdered. Probably was in debt or was too fucked up on whatever she was addicted to. Anyway, with her gone I really don't want to pay rent anymore. 

But yeah I'm about to quit my job. People were calling me fatso, ******, and giving me bad looks. When driving a coworker pointed at the homeless camp and was like all negative about it like "why are we allowing this". Since I was homeless, I was deeply disturbed by her judgmental opinion toward people who are struggling financially. I'm quitting because I don't want to be around people who make me feel bad about myself. 

So yeah I'm probably going to be homeless again. I gave this whole "work hard" thing a try but really it didn't change who I am: someone who doesn't tolerate people. And it's not worth it being around people just to make money. 

This place doesn't even allow cats. Can you believe that? It's called homes of compassion but no pets allowed! I've always wanted a cat but I'm too poor to afford one. 

I'm praying. Not for salvation. Not for money. I'm praying Russia will nuke me right where im standing. I'm in a prime location they would target. Right on a military base in the northwest where we have nuclear submarines. The radiation would spread east with the wind. My body is aching me so bad from overworking myself for years. I'm done. I want it all to end.


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## Schizoid (Jan 31, 2015)

That's a bad idea, you shouldn't think short-term, but you should think long-term instead.

You shouldn't leave your job because of some assholes, but you should only leave your current job because you've found your dream job.

If you leave this job because of some assholes, what if your next job is filled with assholes too?

So it's important to leave a job for the right reasons.

Anyway, why don't you use the money from this job to further your education in a career field that you wanted to work and then once you've attain the certificate you start applying jobs to that field and leave this job once you've found a job in your field?


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## Winter-Rose (Jul 20, 2021)

I think that one reason why you shouldn't quit your job and hide is what you have lived. You are more aware of the reality of sacrifices and difficulties while as you said many people aren't. You can offer a point of view to those who don't know and you can also help who is in need. Maybe that job shouldn't be your final destination but a way to achieve something near to your predisposition. You aren't the one who should feel the need to hide, but those people that carry on the prejudices. 
We live in a society where money has the power to give you a voice that other people will hear, it's sad but it goes in this way and so even if you have an humanitarian predisposition or a creative one, you have to fight for your small space in the world and to change something, even if it is really small. It isn't pleasant this reality but that isn't a valid reason to shut you up. Will you leave the chance to express and to talk, to change things only to those who are full of prejudices and didn't fight that much to be where they are? That's not fair for you and other people. 
You can't easily choose your colleagues, but you can find other people who are different and will understand and substain you. There's a lot of shit in the world, but not everything is involved, it's just that what is nice is hidden by that pile of shit. Hard work. So, if you, someone than could be nice, hide as well under the shit, you are just making more complicated to other nice people to find you. What if all the people that have something important and sensible would hide? You are needed.


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

The thing is my body is literally sick from these people. I feel like vomiting and shitting my pants just thinking about going in to work. Knowing that people don't care about life makes me want to die. I want them out of my system. Being around them has picked up their energy and it's sickening.


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## ENFPathetic (Apr 3, 2018)

Purrfessor said:


> I was homeless for 2 years where I spent most of my time alone and hiding from people. I had a small amount of money, which I spent on socks and water and I even bought a tent which ended up getting filled with water. I spent my days hiding from the heat, from the rain, and from the cold. Exercise, meditation, and eating were my daily doses of reality. But I would spend much time in another realm. I would see ghosts and angels and even had the power of remote viewing where I could see other people.
> 
> However I traveled back to my family after they would help me out financially. My grandma gave me a car and I got a job through connections my mom had. It paid 22 an hour and allowed me to pay rent for the first time ever. I'm in a place called homes of compassion where they give homeless ppl a place to pay rent. However they are in debt and it seems I'm the only one paying rent. The people who work here all seem like addicts and I think one even died. They didn't tell me how she died but she was in her 30s or 40s so I'm guessing she was murdered. Probably was in debt or was too fucked up on whatever she was addicted to. Anyway, with her gone I really don't want to pay rent anymore.
> 
> ...


Sometimes the world makes me really angry. Especially when I see how people who are struggling are treated. I remember when I was a child my mum told me that as long as a man can afford breakfast, there will be no shortage of people willing to buy him lunch. And I said it would make more sense to buy lunch for the man who cannot afford breakfast. Almost 3 decades later, I can't believe just how accurate her words were.

I get that people can be shit. But fuck em. This is your life man. Work hard for your benefit. Save up as much as you can. Learn how to code in your spare time. And look forward to the day where you can live in a descent place where cats are allowed. Life is suffering. If you're going to suffer anyway, you might as well make your suffering work for you. Sacrifice a few years of your life and you will reap the rewards for decades to come.


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

Schizoid said:


> That's a bad idea, you shouldn't think short-term, but you should think long-term instead.
> 
> You shouldn't leave your job because of some assholes, but you should only leave your current job because you've found your dream job.
> 
> ...


I don't have any money. According to my calculations, I should have a decent supply of money as I didn't spend top much. I worked for a year and literally have 20 dollars I just borrowed from my mom. They are shutting off my phone service soon. It makes no sense to me. Also I never got my tax return even though I filed my taxes months ago. It should be like 2300 dollars. Instead I'm yet again getting fucked over financially because apparently I don't deserve money. I guess hard work DOESNT pay off. Anyway, never getting a job again. Total waste of life.


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

ENFPathetic said:


> Sometimes the world makes me really angry. Especially when I see how people who are struggling are treated. I remember when I was a child my mum told me that as long as a man can afford breakfast, there will be no shortage of people willing to buy him lunch. And I said it would make more sense to buy lunch for the man who cannot afford breakfast. Almost 3 decades later, I can't believe just how accurate her words were.
> 
> I get that people can be shit. But fuck em. This is your life man. Work hard for your benefit. Save up as much as you can. Learn how to code in your spare time. And look forward to the day where you can live in a descent place where cats are allowed. Life is suffering. If you're going to suffer anyway, you might as well make your suffering work for you. Sacrifice a few years of your life and you will reap the rewards for decades to come.


My entire year of hard work has earned me literally 0 profits.


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## islandlight (Aug 13, 2013)

Hard work never paid off for me either. When I retired, after 49 years of supporting myself, I was still making the equivalent of minimum wage (averaged out per year). Then the government messed up my pension.

At least I learned how to make a living without (much) people bs. For the last 15 years of my working life, I worked from home, for people who appreciated my work and treated me with respect. Because I was a freelancer, I could "fire" undesirable clients. I could also refuse to do things that were distasteful to me, such as talking on the phone or having a resume.

When I started out, I didn't even have my own computer. I used my boyfriend's computer. He wanted to be able to use the computer whenever he wanted, so for a while I could only work at night when he was asleep.

At another time in my life, I was cooking hamburgers. Just 5 hours per day, but it took all my energy. I made less than a person on welfare, but I had to pay income tax, etc. After 9 months there, I had $100 to my name. I realized that if I worked there forever I'd still never have more than $100. I quit that job, stumbled around a bit, and started sending resumes to every business in the local yellow pages. 

Within a couple of weeks I was given a temporary job that paid really well and required almost no work. One of those situations where government money was being thrown around. A "team" needed a warm body on short notice, and I was available. It was only for a few weeks, but it was enough for a new start.

I'm not saying that anything similar is possible or desirable for you. I am also aware that things are extra hard for young people now. But maybe you can think of something.

I get the impression that you live in an expensive area. If you don’t want to (or can't) throw yourself on your mother's mercy, would it be possible to move to a cheaper area? Last year I moved to a "depressed area" because it was the only place in Canada that had affordable rents. I think there are still some cheap places the US.

Another idea is working for room and board. Organizations like WWOOF specialize in this kind of thing. You might not want to do it forever, but it will expose you to different people and places, and can lead to other things.

Good luck.


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

islandlight said:


> Hard work never paid off for me either. When I retired, after 49 years of supporting myself, I was still making the equivalent of minimum wage (averaged out per year). Then the government messed up my pension.
> 
> At least I learned how to make a living without (much) people bs. For the last 15 years of my working life, I worked from home, for people who appreciated my work and treated me with respect. Because I was a freelancer, I could "fire" undesirable clients. I could also refuse to do things that were distasteful to me, such as talking on the phone or having a resume.
> 
> ...


I have worked for room and board before. I cooked at a Cafe to feed homeless people and I did weekly hours of chores as well to get a bed, a shower, etc. I got paid no money and they wanted me to apply for jobs in my free time. This was tricky because I had a schedule where I had to do chores there so getting a work schedule would create conflict. I did manage to get a job at a chicken factory but it was SO HARD. Lifting 75 lbs boxes 8 hours a day. I did it for 5 days and my body gave up on me. Made like 400 dollars. But yeah the manager lady in charge had the audacity to call me LAZY. Lol yeah cuz working my absolute ass off until I collapse is lady. I didn't have a car either I had to walk. You know what she does? Sits at a computer and drives to work. Yeah IM LAZY THOUGH. Stupid bitch. She was a white lady who was into black men so yeah I imagine her calling me lazy is just her white supremacy talking. I used the 400 Dollars to leave to Chicago...

Yeah the problem is consistent: people. They always always always fuck me over. They're racist, they're bigoted, they're greedy, they're cheaters, they're mean, and they don't care. Bullshit, scammers, bad deals. That's what I deal with.

Moving locations might be for the best because the problem might just be living in a democratic/liberal environment. However, I don't really have the funds to relocate.

I do have a laptop. What sort of online work is available?

Edit: BTW my rent was 750 a month. It's not too expensive where im at currently but most places around here are like 1100 or 1200. I'm close to Seattle and they definitely gentrified the neighborhood.


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## leftover crack (May 12, 2013)

idk i would go to the west coast at least its warm there if you do end up homeless, there was this dude who lived in a cave somewhere near the canyons.

maybe relocate to europe?


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## Schizoid (Jan 31, 2015)

Purrfessor said:


> I don't have any money. According to my calculations, I should have a decent supply of money as I didn't spend top much. I worked for a year and literally have 20 dollars I just borrowed from my mom. They are shutting off my phone service soon. It makes no sense to me. Also I never got my tax return even though I filed my taxes months ago. It should be like 2300 dollars. Instead I'm yet again getting fucked over financially because apparently I don't deserve money. I guess hard work DOESNT pay off. Anyway, never getting a job again. Total waste of life.


What are some bad financial decisions that you've been making so far?

I noticed that during those times when I've been financially poor, it's because I've been making some bad financial decisions in life, such as quitting jobs impulsively when I had some asshole bosses yelling at me. If I had stayed in those jobs for at least a few years before quitting, I might have been more financially stable now.


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## leftover crack (May 12, 2013)

Schizoid said:


> I noticed that during those times when I've been financially poor, it's because I've been making some bad financial decisions in life, such as quitting jobs impulsively when I had some asshole bosses yelling at me. If I had stayed in those jobs for at least a few years before quitting, I might have been more financially stable now.


I second this my last job was a very risky one and I was treated like dog shit but I guess I've been blessed with steel nerves or something. It paid well and I had a lot of money saved up.


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

leftover crack said:


> idk i would go to the west coast at least its warm there if you do end up homeless, there was this dude who lived in a cave somewhere near the canyons.
> 
> maybe relocate to europe?


I wish I could relocate to Europe... 

BTW I am on the west coast.


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## islandlight (Aug 13, 2013)

I did copyediting. I looked into online teaching, but at the time (20 years ago) I didn't think it would work for me.

One idea is online English tutoring through italki or some other app/website, or even on your own. People all over the world want to learn English. This is piecemeal though (maybe $15 here, $15 there) and is very people intensive. As you know, some people can be rude, demanding, unreliable, etc.

Once when I was stumped for ideas for making money, I was in West Virginia. I was geographically isolated and couldn't even work legally. A neighbor told me about a friend of his who made money selling Civil War uniform buttons online. He'd buy them by the thousands, put four of them on a nice card, and sell them for a nice profit. Since I'm from Canada, where we aren't much into history or patriotism, the whole idea was unfathomable to me. But hey, you never know.

I think it's important to say no to things you won't tolerate, whether that's racism, lifting heavy objects, or whatever. Whatever is left might be tolerable.

There will always be people who will call you lazy, or tell you you're "crazy" for turning down an "opportunity." Ignore them. I've listened to such people, and really regretted it. Only you know what's right for you.


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

Schizoid said:


> What are some bad financial decisions that you've been making so far?
> 
> I noticed that during those times when I've been financially poor, it's because I've been making some bad financial decisions in life, such as quitting jobs impulsively when I had some asshole bosses yelling at me. If I had stayed in those jobs for at least a few years before quitting, I might have been more financially stable now.


I've made some stupid purchases yeah. 100 dollars for a music software I thought I would get into but spent 30 minutes on and gave up. Money on onlyfans just to talk to girls which I regret. Desperate move that one was. I've given a few hundred away to people who asked me for money which I also regret. Ate at fast food places a little too much. 

Some of this was just trying something I've never tried before to see what happens. What if I gave girls money and they would talk to me more / love me? Idk I never gave girls money before so I thought I'd try and see if that's what the missing ingredient was because girls just don't talk to me. What if I'd be a great musician? Thought I'd buy some software and give it a go. I also bought some wise investments like teeth whitening tools, quality shoes and clothes, and a laptop. I got nice jewelry too. My goal is to not feel like a homeless person anymore cuz yeah I may be living in an apartment but I still feel homeless. 

But yeah government owes me my tax return at least. Whatever fuck the government they can keep it. I hate them. 

But yeah I'm quitting the jobs because of the way I'm treated. Look I have deep sickness around people who don't treat others good. It's a physical gut reaction more than anything. It doesn't really feel like a choice but instead like I'm being manipulated to quit by their bad energy..


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

islandlight said:


> I did copyediting. I looked into online teaching, but at the time (20 years ago) I didn't think it would work for me.
> 
> One idea is online English tutoring through italki or some other app/website, or even on your own. People all over the world want to learn English. This is piecemeal though (maybe $15 here, $15 there) and is very people intensive. As you know, some people can be rude, demanding, unreliable, etc.
> 
> ...


Yeah it blurred out the word but I was called the N word by a group of black ppl. I quit that day. I hate racism. 

"Only you know what's right for you" yes that's what my mom says too. But I feel very strongly that what is right for me is to finally die.


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## islandlight (Aug 13, 2013)

I do understand that feeling. I've also found that unless you do actually die (somehow), living with that feeling becomes ever more painful. You feel like even more of a failure because you can't even die properly. So I try not to let myself go there.

I'm in a slump now. I moved to a very boring Norman Rockwell town. I coped by finding a few things to do, mostly online. One of them backfired on me, and now I don't want to exercise or brush my teeth or anything. Time to take another look and try to put things together a different way.

I'm old, and I know it will all end in death anyway. And it's mostly a downhill trip. So I can feel bad or not-so-bad, and find enjoyment where I can.

I don't understand the "work hard, hang in there, and get promoted" idea. It was certainly never that way for me. As I mentioned, I was flipping burgers in my 40s. When I was hired, I was promised a cashier job "as soon as one comes up." After a few months a cashier quit, so I was looking forward to the cashier job. Then they hired a young girl as a cashier. I talked to the boss about it, and she said, "I didn't think [new girl] could handle the grill." So I was punished for being able to do my job. I have a high IQ, I was hard working, good looking, and healthy, and I couldn't even get a friggin cashier job. That's why I've had to be creative and eventually make my own job.

I won't insult you by saying I know what you're going through. But I know life can be hard. I think the fact that you even posted here shows you still have some hope. I really wish you well.


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## ENFPathetic (Apr 3, 2018)

islandlight said:


> I don't understand the "work hard, hang in there, and get promoted" idea.


It's a ridiculous idea. I prefer "hang in there while you develop skills that people are willing to pay for and then quit".


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

islandlight said:


> I do understand that feeling. I've also found that unless you do actually die (somehow), living with that feeling becomes ever more painful. You feel like even more of a failure because you can't even die properly. So I try not to let myself go there.
> 
> I'm in a slump now. I moved to a very boring Norman Rockwell town. I coped by finding a few things to do, mostly online. One of them backfired on me, and now I don't want to exercise or brush my teeth or anything. Time to take another look and try to put things together a different way.
> 
> ...


I don't want to exercise or brush my teeth either. I feel like that would just make me feel empty. And feeling empty is a strategy of mine so that I don't feel bad. But. I want to feel bad. I want to cry. I want people to know I'm hurt bad. Not so they can bully me harder, but so people know they did this to me and should stop blaming me for everything. I'm tired of the narrative "it's all my fault, only I am to Blame". That's just not true. There's only so much I can do. So yeah I'm mostly frustrated with feeling empty, drained, or used up. And I'd rather take the time to feel bad because it's a break from the emptiness. 

This might be a calm before the storm issue. Either that, or it really is the end.


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

Here's what my jobs were. Started out working at Wendy's WHILE HOMELESS. I literally slept in their lawn and then applied for a job the next morning. It was 11 an hour. It wasn't enough to get me off the streets, which was my goal. 

Next was stocking at a grocery store. Problem with this is I actually don't like grocery stores. When I go, I get overwhelmed by the advertisements. People advertise food like they are selling something more than what it is. I really hate that and I started getting triggered by the details. 

Next is driving. I was driving a big white van to deliver materials. The problem with this is blind spots and size of vehicle. I couldn't drive it that well. However with this job there was also computer work. Typing up receipts and such. I was good at this part. 

My favorite job was Wendy's because I got to smile at people and give them food directly... however this paid really really bad. The other jobs I had problems. 

Do you guys know any entry level computer work jobs? Operating the computer to print receipts felt good.


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## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

Purrfessor said:


> Yeah I think 8th function is only used in life or death situations!!!


Lol maybe, I think it's just negativist. Like I'll go into Ti when I have reason not to trust someone and I'll start thinking along the lines of "what advantage are they trying to gain" while they emote, instead of doing the Fi thing of viewing emotions as authentic expression.


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

intranst said:


> Lol maybe, I think it's just negativist. Like I'll go into Ti when I have reason not to trust someone and I'll start thinking along the lines of "what advantage are they trying to gain" while they emote, instead of doing the Fi thing of viewing emotions as authentic expression.


Well 4th is more negativity while 8th is sort of counter to that negativity. 4 will be "I wanna die" but 8 will be "I acknowledge I want to die but I won't". Still negative, but it seeks to overcome the negativity...


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

Purrfessor said:


> Well 4th is more negativity while 8th is sort of counter to that negativity. 4 will be "I wanna die" but 8 will be "I acknowledge I want to die but I won't". Still negative, but it seeks to overcome the negativity...


Similarly 1 is positivity and 5 is counter to that positivity - "oh you think you're so smart, mighty, good, etc well how about THIS" Then it's just something you are obviously not good at because you ignored it.


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## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

Purrfessor said:


> Similarly 1 is positivity and 5 is counter to that positivity - "oh you think you're so smart, mighty, good, etc well how about THIS" Then it's just something you are obviously not good at because you ignored it.


I can definitely see that.


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## SouDesuNyan (Sep 8, 2015)

Purrfessor said:


> But yeah I'm about to quit my job. People were calling me fatso, ****, and giving me bad looks. When driving a coworker pointed at the homeless camp and was like all negative about it like "why are we allowing this". Since I was homeless, I was deeply disturbed by her judgmental opinion toward people who are struggling financially. I'm quitting because I don't want to be around people who make me feel bad about myself.


It seems like your Te is pretty bad, perhaps in 4th, 7th, or 8th function? Why do you care so much about other people's opinions? Have you tried focusing on your job and ignoring others?


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

SouDesuNyan said:


> It seems like your Te is pretty bad, perhaps in 4th, 7th, or 8th function? Why do you care so much about other people's opinions? Have you tried focusing on your job and ignoring others?


It's 5th. 

And yes I've tried ignoring, I've tried being more assertive, I've tried distracting. But it catches up to me AT SOME POINT. I can laugh, brush it off, etc but eventually I'll wake up one day and cry because it got under my skin. 

5th function is supposed to integrate to 8 (fight) and disintegrate to 7 (flight) so my best strategy is to fight back in order to maintain the integration (staying a coworker). However, I did not do this soon enough and people slowly began building a repertoire around me that they can get away with more and more bullying. Eventually it was too much.


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

By the way guys I got my tax return. I was literally in the process of refiling when I discovered they dropped the money into my account on August 2nd. Funny timing. But yeah they were super late with it.


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## SouDesuNyan (Sep 8, 2015)

Next time, you can try using IRA website to check the status of your refund. I usually file mine early, like February, and I would get the refund within 2 weeks. I usually owe them though.


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