# Compliant Types (1, 2, 6) = Good Children?



## Tater Tot (May 28, 2012)

Nah. 6's have the counterphobia thing going on, so there would be some rebellion. I can see a 1 actually starting to try and parent the parent. 2, maybe, but 2's can get pretty vindictive and manipulative if they feel like it. I think the withdrawn triad would actually be the easiest to handle... except 4, since it's the reactive withdrawn type. But 5 and 9 are pretty low-maintenance.

1, 2, 6 - The Adult-like Child (May think they know better than the parent, etc)
3, 7, 8 - The Child-like Child (Not afraid of receiving attention and expects to be taken care of)
4, 5, 9 - The Elderly-like Child (lol because they're usually pretty experienced and wary, seem fragile and fatigued)


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## The Scorched Earth (May 17, 2010)

Tater Tot said:


> 4, 5, 9 - The Elderly-like Child (lol because they're usually pretty experienced and wary, seem fragile and fatigued)


I like this designation. I was mostly withdrawn growing up, but still a handful. And I didn't really relate to people my age; I preferred being around adults.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

RoSoDude said:


> Oh yeah. So much so that my mother's idea of my teenage "rebellion" phase was my failure to get straight A's due to lack of motivation. I was so well-behaved that my parents were practically spoiled by my lack of boundary-pushing. Hence, my getting the occasional B in high school was not due to motivation, confidence, or issues with depression, but _clearly_ because I must be finally going against them...? Or something?
> I always based my behavior on what I was supposed to do, and always thought in terms of my parents' expectations for me. I may have misbehaved in very small ways (like eating candy when I wasn't supposed to or whatever), but even then I felt bad because I was going against what I was supposed to do, and I just viscerally knew that was bad. It went against a sense of internal conscience that has always been a part of me.


^this is a perfect example of why I was never a "good" kid and never tried to please authorities. all that happens is that they end up expecting more from you, so I just did the minimum required in order to avoid being punished and exerted the rest of my energy selfishly.


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Yes and no. I got good grades but I was in constant conflict with my stepmom and I was far more transgressive with my identity expressions than my brother. I just never cared about to conform to someone else's idea of who I should be. I will always remain myself and walk my own path.

Then I essentially figured out that my tritype is being as much id as one can possibly be without being an id type, so go figure.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

ephemereality said:


> Yes and no. I got good grades but I was in constant conflict with my stepmom and I was far more transgressive with my identity expressions than my brother. I just never cared about to conform to someone else's idea of who I should be. I will always remain myself and walk my own path.
> Then I essentially figured out that my tritype is being as much id as one can possibly be without being an id type, so go figure.


if that were the case, you would be 3 fixed rather than 4 fixed


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## Zebro (Sep 5, 2013)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> if that were the case, you would be 3 fixed rather than 4 fixed


Striving to maintain autonomy is 5-ish/6-ish. Not an image thingy.


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> if that were the case, you would be 3 fixed rather than 4 fixed


The 3 wing still influences, and I have a double connection to two id types from my core with 8w7 as second fix. So yes, a lot of id in there even if I am a core ego type.



Zebro said:


> Striving to maintain autonomy is 5-ish/6-ish. Not an image thingy.


SoM was addressing my claim about being as id one could be without being id, and suggested that if that's true, I must be 3-fixed instead of 4.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

Ice Ghost said:


> A question for 1's, 2's, and 6's (the "compliant" types). Were you all good children growing up?
> 
> I ask this especially of the 1's, because if there's one trait of the 1 that absolutely DO NOT relate to, it's that 1's were model children. I was only a model child in that I got good grades in school. Behavior-wise, I was a problem; I didn't get along with other kids because I was too "different" from them and the teachers didn't know what to do with me because I always acted out during class.
> 
> So any well-behaved Compliants here?


It depends on what you mean by compliant. I sought out adult approval, but I wasn't willing to tolerate unfairness in order to do so. I tried to be a good child, but I recognized very early that being good wasn't just about following rules. I knew that "legally right" was less important than "actually right." There were times when I gave in and succumbed to control because I felt helpless, but I regret it now and see it as evidence that I was damaged by my school experiences. I got good grades, followed all of the rules that were worth following, and tried not to make trouble unless something was important to me. When something was important, I had a tendency not to back down, even if I was in so powerless a position that standing my ground required prolonged passive-aggressive expressions of discontent.

Example: In one of my classes, a teacher punished the whole class with extra homework because one student got up to sharpen his pencil during a lecture. The situation was unjust on so many levels that after he refused to discuss it further, I turned in every assignment written upside-down and backward from that point on.

I wasn't popular with the other kids. The teachers either loved me or hated me, depending on their tolerance for being challenged when wrong, and whether they respected creative, personalized interpretations of their assignments.


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## Aenye (Jul 13, 2013)

RoSoDude said:


> Oh yeah. So much so that my mother's idea of my teenage "rebellion" phase was my failure to get straight A's due to lack of motivation. I was so well-behaved that my parents were practically spoiled by my lack of boundary-pushing. Hence, my getting the occasional B in high school was not due to motivation, confidence, or issues with depression, but _clearly_ because I must be finally going against them...? Or something?
> 
> I always based my behavior on what I was supposed to do, and always thought in terms of my parents' expectations for me. I may have misbehaved in very small ways (like eating candy when I wasn't supposed to or whatever), but even then I felt bad because I was going against what I was supposed to do, and I just viscerally knew that was bad. It went against a sense of internal conscience that has always been a part of me.



Same here, except that I didn't base it on what they wanted me to do. It was in my nature.

My mother got spoiled this way too...the way she once attacked me when I stayed 30 minutes longer than I was allowed (I was 13 or 14 at the time and my grades were nearly impeccable - nearly all A) and that right in her line of sight on playground right in front of the building. I chased my friends, while other 13/14yo chased cock. It wasn't good enough. She started hitting me hard, clawing at me and when I told her to leave me be and blocked her, she started screaming and crying that she'll call police because I'm molesting her...all the while trying to hit me more.

Later on she got chance to see some real teenagers - slutty, loud, pompous she said something like: 'uuuh, I'm so lucky you're not like them' aaand after few seconds in ISFJ/ESFJ's brain this gratitude and impression of value faded and was forgotten.

Also she was out of her mind that I ate cookies/chocolate twice/thrice each week (it was essential for me then to eat it) claiming I was sick/mad.

I think I may have gotten off the course.


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## QueenOfCats (Jan 28, 2011)

I was both a bad and good child. I always got good grades because I had to be good at something and was fairly serious about school. I was a bit of a teacher's pet and well-behaved in class. But I could be temperamental, rambunctious, and was very confident about what I felt was fair, right, wrong, etc. I would never budge when it came to that and when I did find myself doubting my moral compass, I would just read a book or an article about what I was doubting.


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## Cantarella (Sep 3, 2010)

Definitely. I was such a good kid that my mom bragged about it. I did everything she wanted in exactly the ways she wanted, even functioned as a human alarm clock for her and made her coffee every morning. But underneath the "good kid" exterior I had so many issues. For one, I felt like I was #2 in the house and clung to that role. I HATED the idea of my mom dating or remarrying (she never did though, too much of a workaholic and the guys who liked her never really caught her interest even though there were a lot of them) because I didn't want to be replaced or stop being needed. I felt like being needed gave me a lot of power and I enjoyed that. Being needed made me feel safe in an increasingly dysfunctional home.

When I got older though I started to resent how much control she thought she had over me. When I wanted to change certain things in my life she was VERY critical of those things and didn't want me to stop being her crutch, but when I turned 18 she also wanted me to get out of the house and stop being a financial burden. To be honest, being such a "good kid" did not prepare me for adult life, even though it kept me safe until I was old enough to leave the nest, and as much as I try to accept and embrace my nature I also sort of wish I had been a 1 or a 3... Someone who put more stock in success as a means of survival than simply being loved, because love isn't enough.


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## Hanaseru (May 29, 2013)

I'm primarily a 6, and I do find myself to be an "obedient" child 99% of the time.


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