# How to communicate to S's if you are an N



## zynthaxx (Aug 12, 2009)

unleashthehounds said:


> I don't think this is N vs S, more like P vs J. SJs do plan ahead quite a bit in my experience


I think my example was badly worded; the key point being about preparing for problems that might not even happen. Yes, my SJ sister is a pretty planning person, but her plans are always rooted in the ground, based on concrete and realistic thoughts of what might actually happen.

The "problem" with immature iNtuitives, is that they often value what might become higher than what is, leading to them spending time on contingency plans for extremely improbable events, or even completely missing what's currently important in a picture. I put the word problem between quotation marks because I realise that this is just one of many possible results of a different point of view.

This XKCD strip pretty much sums it up from my PoV: xkcd: DFS


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

unleashthehounds said:


> I understand what S-types are saying to me. What I don't always understand are their motivations.


I feel what you do and that I have to give them a freaken documentary on the subject I want to talk about before they can even know what I'm saying. I frequently have to give a lot of explanation or else most S people literally cannot keep up with me. This shows up in my writing, because I have to make sure that S people (the biggest market share) can understand the action. I've included an intellectual bonus for N's and the learnered, but that's merely to add more depth to the cerebral reader.


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## Van (Dec 28, 2009)

Talking to strong Si users makes me feel like a rambling idiot. I try to mentally rehearse which points I will make and in what order before I speak. Then I start checking that I'm not about to say anything insensitive or stupid. Eventually, I end up not saying anything at all.


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## firedell (Aug 5, 2009)

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> I feel what you do and that I have to give them a freaken documentary on the subject I want to talk about before they can even know what I'm saying. I frequently have to give a lot of explanation or else most S people literally cannot keep up with me. This shows up in my writing, because I have to make sure that S people (the biggest market share) can understand the action. I've included an intellectual bonus for N's and the learnered, but that's merely to add more depth to the cerebral reader.


Wow, you are poor.


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## Karot (Jun 25, 2010)

The other day I wrote a poem written for 80% in words I didn't know the meaning of. After looking them up in a dictionary it all made sense.

So don't say we don't speak your language, we merely might have some trouble understanding certain things.

PS: the words had more than 2 syllables.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

inebriato said:


> Wow, you are poor.


And you are lethargic. I make concerted efforts. Here's something you probably didn't know: I have a very high N score.


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## HandiAce (Nov 27, 2009)

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> I feel what you do and that I have to give them a freaken documentary on the subject I want to talk about before they can even know what I'm saying. I frequently have to give a lot of explanation or else most S people literally cannot keep up with me. This shows up in my writing, because I have to make sure that S people (the biggest market share) can understand the action. I've included an intellectual bonus for N's and the learnered, but that's merely to add more depth to the cerebral reader.


That's always helpful. I tend to need a lot of disambiguations to know what anyone is talking about. It's not that I don't like interests intuition users pursue. I just need to put a foothold on wherever I go when a discuss on new ideas arise.

If I can understand anything you say/do, it would be your motives for rick rolling me :crazy:


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## cardinalfire (Dec 10, 2009)

Oh I had this thought last night, and I just wanted to bring it up and see what you guys thought.

I remember at school, when we did Shakespeare, a lot of people didn't understand what the guy was saying and for me, I found it easy. I knew exactly what he was saying and a lot of people say that Shakespeare is hard or difficult to read. A lot of it is in metaphor. Perhaps this may require someone to have their N higher to be able to grasp what the guy is saying. Maybe other authors are the same.


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## NeedsNewNameNow (Dec 1, 2009)

cardinalfire said:


> Oh I had this thought last night, and I just wanted to bring it up and see what you guys thought.
> 
> I remember at school, when we did Shakespeare, a lot of people didn't understand what the guy was saying and for me, I found it easy. I knew exactly what he was saying and a lot of people say that Shakespeare is hard or difficult to read. A lot of it is in metaphor. Perhaps this may require someone to have their N higher to be able to grasp what the guy is saying. Maybe other authors are the same.


I always found that I could not read Shakespeare, but if someone read it too me, especiially someone who knows how it's supposed to be read, then it all make sense.


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## Memphisto (Jan 27, 2010)

Thank you for this thread... I have several sensors in my life and rather than carry on having communication issues I've decided to try to understand them. Yes, it would be awesome if they to bothered trying to understand me too but I don't see that happening anytime soon...so....it is what it is. Some very helpful tips some of you have shared... thank you.


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## Monte (Feb 17, 2010)

LMAO.

I finally got around to reading this thread and I'm pretty sure there are some Ss that want to beat the fuck out of some of us Ns.

Wtf? Seriously, I'm all for making people feel stupid, bit this is a little ridiculous, some of you are acting like you training a dog to sit or something equally minuscule. I know as Ns we have a tendency to be arrogant, but holy fuck.

Ss aren't retards you guys, I think some of us are forgetting that.


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## IamOpening (Nov 18, 2009)

Yeah, sheesh. Let's not be so mean to each other...
My girlfriend is a sensor, my mother is a sensor, and a few of my very good friends are sensors. Now, I do notice that I don't have conversations that go as deep with them as I can have with some of my N friends, but that doesn't mean I think my S friends are inferior in any way. I do agree with what some here have said about needing to speak in specifics, because I have noticed that with my girlfriend. My mother can definitely have abstract thoughts and ideas, but she also butts heads with my INFJ dad, due to misunderstandings. He speaks about spiritual things in terms that he and I easily understand, but she does not, and we need to tell her that we aren't speaking so literally as she thinks we are.
I am Not saying Sensors are inferior. They are just different from iNtuitives, and that is fine, and good! We need these different personalities to work together and balance each other out! My ISTJ girlfriend keeps me motivated and has sort of 'cleaned me up.' I cut my hair, I started showering regularly again, I cleaned my room, I wallow a lot less, and her personality just keeps me grounded when I am with her. I can be very down on myself and insecure about different aspects of myself and of people's opinions of me, and she so matter-of-factly laughs and says that those things are untrue and that I am wonderful, etc.
She is very supportive. INFPs and ISTJs can be a very good match, despite much of the opinions I've read here. Anyhow, I'm a little off topic there.


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## Who (Jan 2, 2010)

To be honest, I really don't talk to people differently based on their type. When a sensor starts talking to me, I don't automatically think "Oh man, looks like I'm gonna have to start using monosyllabic words and act like I'm speaking to a two-year-old." The only time I ever change that is if someone asks me to clarify myself. Even when that happens, I blame my own communication errors rather than the type of the person I'm talking to.

Of course, I do notice there's a few things I don't do near sensors that I do when talking to N types. For example, I tend to get more hypothetical with Ns and ask them more serious "what if" questions. Not because I think Ss are dumb or anything, but when I did that kind of stuff when it was younger, it seemed to be annoying to most sensors.


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## IamOpening (Nov 18, 2009)

Who said:


> To be honest, I really don't talk to people differently based on their type. When a sensor starts talking to me, I don't automatically think "Oh man, looks like I'm gonna have to start using monosyllabic words and act like I'm speaking to a two-year-old." The only time I ever change that is if someone asks me to clarify myself. Even when that happens, I blame my own communication errors rather than the type of the person I'm talking to.
> 
> Of course, I do notice there's a few things I don't do near sensors that I do when talking to N types. For example, I tend to get more hypothetical with Ns and ask them more serious "what if" questions. Not because I think Ss are dumb or anything, but when I did that kind of stuff when it was younger, it seemed to be annoying to most sensors.


Right, I don't change my language much around sensors, but I have had situations where I would try to talk to my ISTJ girlfriend about things that I can talk to about the iNtuitives I know and she will say "What?!"
She definitely is a smart person, no doubt about it, but I do need to be more concrete when I talk to her.
But, that's just one ISTJ. I'm sure there are others out there who can talk easily about more abstract, strange ideas.


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## Psilo (Apr 29, 2009)

:frustrating:

It's not uncommon for there to be a language gap between those who tend to use abstract information to understand the world and for those who use practical information, especially if either are particularly underdeveloped in the opposing function. 

It's not patronizing to remind the abstract people that they would be better understood if they smoke in more realistic, practical terms. 

It's also not patronizing to remind concrete people that the intuitives will get lost in details and will understand better with concept first. 

These topics should always include ways to bridge the gap rather than one side reaching to the other, because it will inevitably piss someone off and we lose another opportunity to look at a real issue that some people experience. 

This is interesting and relevant:
Truth-and-Language Exegesis

There are many many sensors who make me feel incredibly inept at life. Of course, in no more or less frequency than any other type. 

Type superiority is stupid.


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