# Purging people out your life.



## dagnytaggart (Jun 6, 2010)

Anyone else sporadically go through times where they cut SEVERAL people out their lives?

Maybe it's because I'm an E9, but I usually just ignore people who cause problems, but eventually I get sick of it, and speak up.

It's my litmus test for dealing with people. If they hear me out and we settle on a solution like adults, great.

But often, people react in a way that implies, "how dare I try to speak up for myself!". That's when I end things with them.

It's like the Fi kicks in, my Ni goes from its default position, to the problematic people, and Te hacks, hacks, hacks people out my life with no hesitation.

Anyone else do this often?


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## wisterias (Jul 15, 2012)

If I find anyone is continually upsetting me a lot, I just flat-out cut them out without explanation. I've realized that people rarely change habits when they say they will so I just don't bother anymore.. my detachment makes this much easier to do, though, than say for a more emotional person. 

For me, I _think_ it's that Ne conjures the possibilities of what I could do, Fe realizes it can't help anything here anymore despite itself, and Ti analyzes the situation and eventually settles on the most _probable _logical and objectively painless way out (for both of us) based on whatever idea Ne's fed to it. 

e: I also have 9w1 in my tri-type.


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## Iustinus (Jun 13, 2012)

Yes, yes, yes.

The more I learn about people, the more I generally dislike them. So eventually they have to go.


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## Rauder (Jan 29, 2012)

Yes, I purged out several childish people some time ago. They weren't contributing at all in any positive way, just being a waste of time and energy.

Thus, all purged.


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## paccplayer11 (May 30, 2012)

Yep. It's actually pretty easy. When you realize that they're of no use to you and don't offer you anything as a person all bridges get burned.


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## Garee (May 2, 2012)

I've cut people out of my life all the time...some are permanent and some I do make up with, however that could take several years. I'm also a 9w1. 

I've stopped talking to my brother for about 4 years when I was 17. I made up him with him by picking him up at the airport, he was surprised.
I stopped talking to my college best friend b/c she's a cheap ass bitch, only to find out she's your friend when it's convenient for her.
I stopped talking to my gay best friend b/c he kept using me as a personal reference for a car and getting it repo'd like 5 times. Who gets his or her car repo'd 5 times within 6 years? One attempt at insurance fraud. Slept with a down low widowed pastor to get a car.
Blah...too many people I've cut out.


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## liza_200 (Nov 13, 2010)

Yes. Basically when they become unproductive and boring..I don't feel the urge to talk to people (calling them up and asking about their health etc) It's like I talk to them and then I literally keep don't keep in touch, unless I find them really interesting enough. For this reason, I've already lost a friend permanently. But it's not always that I really don't care for the other person, but it's just that..I don't feel like.


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## nujabes (May 18, 2012)

I do cut people out, but it's not a very conscious process. A lot of the time I'll end up thinking "man, i haven't seen x in a long time... thank god, i fucking hated him."


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## Fallen Nocturne (May 13, 2012)

I actively cut someone out of my life not that long ago because they had seriously offended me (and I'm not easily offended) and pissed me off to the point that I decided I was better off having no interactions with them at all. There are only a few people I'd have difficulty completely purging from my life; I tend to maintain a certain distance from most people partially so I can purge them from my life if necessary, and partly because I'm not that comfortable getting too close to people anyway. I'll probably have difficulty permanently purging the most recent offender on my list out, but that's more due to persistence on their part than weakness on mine.

While I have made efforts to remove people from my life in the past, I usually do it without realizing. If I start to find them boring or they're just not very positive to be around, I'll just not talk to them that much, if at all. Just sort of happens. I might catch on to what I'm doing at some point, but I'll also catch on to the reason I started ignoring them, so I just carry on!


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## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

I do occasionally remove people from my life if it seems that we're no longer compatible as people. It's usually permanent, as the reason I do so is because either I've changed or the other person has changed to the point where interaction with them wouldn't be satisfying or productive anymore. When it gets to that point though, the other person knows full well that we've simply become incompatible and it's best to just move on, so there isn't any drama. Thankfully, this doesn't happen often as I don't like to stop associating with people I consider friends.


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## Dark Romantic (Dec 27, 2011)

I've done this on multiple occasions, and it's usually when people begin to get poisonous or counterproductive. Generally speaking, if someone is constantly pissing you off and holding you back, it's best to get them away from you. I've had less final breaks with groups of people, but there are others who I've gotten rid of due to them contributing nothing positive to my life, and in those cases, the breaks are, so far, permanent.


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## Brainfreeze_237 (Oct 31, 2010)

I recently purged a friend of several years from my life. Somehow, the relationship had morphed into something that held no resemblance to what it used to be. I rarely go for permanent purges, but when it happens, there's no going back, no matter what.

Otherwise, if I find someone's company understimulating, boring, or exhausting, I slowly distance myself over time. Usually, they get the message about where they now stand as far as closeness to me is concerned. Not always a very conscious, willful act, but I'm aware of what it is I'm doing.

Other times, I just get carried away, being oblivious to the passage of time and all. Though in this case, I afterwards make some sort of an effort to compensate, one way or another, and bring it back to balance.

But yes! Purging. Righteous Ti judgment. When this happens, and it usually only happens after ample chances have been gambled away on their part, I make a point of stating how things now stand and what brought this about. Ne might try to find possibilities for improvement, but if it got this bad, at this low point, time to nuke the relationship. Purification by fire! xD


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## HippoHunter94 (Jan 19, 2012)

I cut people out when I get frustrated or bored with them. Very, very, very rarely do I do it because I think that they might benefit from me not being around. It's usually pretty easy, but it can take a lot of patience when they simply won't leave you alone.


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## illegal (Jul 27, 2012)

Yes. I do this easily and often. However, I don't bother with many people, so I'm mostly cutting out one at a time instead of several.


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## C. Cal. MindTraipse (Nov 13, 2011)

Definitely. If someone's too demanding on time, or there are too many people in my life all wanting to do time-consuming things, I'll disappear and see who's still around when I resurface. 

I'll purge people once the relationship moves out of context, as well i.e. we no longer have the same class or aren't roommates anymore (especially if there's no real intrigue value in the first place, but was a matter of circumstance).


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## NeedsNewNameNow (Dec 1, 2009)

usually it's because I neglected to keep in touch. 
If a person is more demanding of my time than I feel they deserve, I push back until we reach the 'right' level, those kinds of people are fine in the right dose.
Some people are no good in any dose and I will push them out of my life.


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## Zerosum (Jul 17, 2011)

I find it ridiculously easy to cut people out of my life and do it quite often. if I find someone is either bringing me down or if I "out grow" them, I will just walk away and actually not have any feelings of remorse.


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## dpt727 (Jul 16, 2012)

Wow, interesting thread... I am not that good at purging people. I don't find forgeting people easy, but painful. Hmmmmm.
stepping back, pondering NTs with respect.


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## entpIdeas (Jun 6, 2011)

yes, I have done it for five decades, never look back and never care to, for practically every reason in every previous post and sometimes just because I refuse to tolerate them anymore. I like being able to be emotionally detached. Never have to owe anyone anything.


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## Konigsberg (May 10, 2012)

Yes, although purging sounds quite nasty. I'd rather refer to it in a more violent way that satisfies my perception. English is not my main language, I'm looking for something like 'cut out' but that makes it sounds like I used an ax. 

I've left many people behind in my life, some I am not proud of, but I don't regret any and I've had more than enough reasons to do it. Maybe I wouldn't have to bother with new friendships/relationships if the ones that were there had not done something stupid. *_sigh_* Their stupidity and my arrogance, they're gonna be the end of all my relationships.


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