# Socionics Duality: SLE (ESTp) & IEI (INFp)... IS THIS TRUE?



## KanRen (Dec 17, 2014)

Stumbled over an article about SLE (ESTp) & IEI (INFp), here's the link: http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/373-Duality-Relations-ESTp-and-INFp-by-Stratiyevskaya

I am specifically curious regarding the part I pasted below. Does the information stated by Stratiyevskaya seem accurate, and does anyone have any opinion(s) of such article? Thanks!

Most often this occurs when the *IEI is a spoiled, over-pampered man with elevated self appraisal, while the SLE is a patient, loyal, selflessly devoted woman* who takes on the function not only of his wife but also that of his mother (we have already discussed such an example). It is clear from the first glance that this is not the most beneficial and successful coupling. *The situation is further aggravated the longer their relations remain ethically and socially uncertain.* Let's recall that the first mistake of the SLE woman in our previous example has been that she was in a hurry to legalize her relations. And she is not the only one who commits such a mistake. For a SLE woman, as for any other woman of logical-sensing type of the second quadra, it is very important to consolidate her relations with a certain social status. This is understandable: she strives to reinforce her weak ethical and intuitive aspects with her stronger aspects of sensing and "localized" logic of relations (logic of "systems" or "hierarchical structures"). That is, the reasoning here goes something like this: "It's not clear how our relations will develop, but at least there will be a stamp in the passport. Then he won't be able to simply leave me. I'll take it up to local union/court - I will find him anywhere ..." *Such a straightforward and ambitious partner may resort to any means and make any sacrifices and concessions in order to "get the man" that she wants. *
*But here the IEI won't be in a hurry, because it will be important for him to first secure his own influence. He finds himself in a situation where his every wish is being met, and even makes his partner beg him for this "favor". Acting in this manner he intuitively "out-plays" his partner, keeps her "on the hook", and sets his own pace and tone to the development of their relations.* At this stage, the IEI may be tempted to fall into a role of a pampered, moody child who pulls and pulls from his "good aunt/mother" (as much as it's permitted by his "intuition of possibilities" which outlines for him the "permissible limit" of what he can get).

Here it would be nice for the SLE to apply his "knowledge of life", to assess the situation from the point of view of "opposition of partners", to understand that he is being tested and invited to measured up his skill. This is the situation to use his authoritarian tone and to "show who's boss". And how could it be otherwise? Should he tolerate the tantrums of his dual? Give in to the demonstrative sentimentality? We have already seen where this will lead him. Here what is important is the level of development of SLE's normative "intuition of possibilities" (channel 3-7): will he pick up "which way the wind is blowing" and notice that his partner is testing him for how easily he will give in, by which the IEI also asserts his own rights to all-permissiveness? 

In the meantime, *the situation becomes more complicated ethically.* *The SLE becomes more and more ethically vulnerable to and dependent on the IEI. Besides, the SLE is very limited in his actions:* certain ethical inertness and straightforwardness typical of the representative of this type prevent them from changing their tactics at the right time (especially since they aren't always able to sense the "right time"). *Again, a SLE woman may decide to not force things due to gender roles: "a woman should not impose herself on the man".* In this respect SLE men have certain advantages: they can take their dual "by the storm" giving the IEI little time to think things over. SLE woman cannot press things in such a manner, especially if she holds herself to typical gender prejudices. *Thus, an IEI man is often able to "stretch out the time", and therefore subordinate his partner to his will and wishes and restrain her by fear: "who knows if we'll get married or not?"* *She, in the meanwhile, grows nervous and painfully aware of her ambiguous position* (in understanding of the second quadra), and at the same time she starts developing a way to "guarantee" her future; for example, she may even become pregnant to oblige him to marry her.


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## Graveyard (Oct 23, 2015)

This article is extremely biased against IEIs. Makes us seem like some sort of little devils trying to dry the SLEs until they drop dead, and we move on. One thing that really bothered me was near the end (I don't know if that specific part is on the link you provided, but I read the whole article somewhere else). It says that that the IEI expects a masterfully cooked dinner, but the SLE can't provide it, offending the IEI. Now, being serious, I couldn't care less about dinner. Sometimes, my dinner consists of bread an butter. So this could be actually about a conflict relationship between an EII and SLE.

But thinking of it, another point seems off.



> Thus, an IEI man is often able to "stretch out the time", and therefore subordinate his partner to his will and wishes and restrain her by fear: "who knows if we'll get married or not?" She, in the meanwhile, grows nervous and painfully aware of her ambiguous position


Isn't this rubbing the Fi PoLR of the SLE? "Oh, but I'm not sure of the state of our relationship!" That's... plain mean. 

I know an SLE-IEI couple, and they are incredibly adorable. She is the SLE, he is the IEI. And while I haven't seen them together that often, they get along perfectly. Since they met, she really toned down and he has been much more active. Can't really say, but this thing seems pretty unfair.


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## Captain Mclain (Feb 22, 2014)

The author is ESI. She is known to be bias and describing her own quadra in a positive light and the other quadra in a negative light. Many 'Socionics experts' have pointed this out. 

The authors relation with IEI is that IEI is benefiting from her. The authors relationship with SLE is that she supervise SLE.

And one last point is that she do not take into account that SLE tend to get bored once he or she have conquered their partner. 

When she write about SLE male and IEI female it sounds like IEI be the muse and SLE be the provider. But when IEI male and SLE female then IEI be abusive lier who only care for self and SLE be this poor women who try to do everything for this man. That said, many IEI and other people still find her descriptions and text very detailed and well written.


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## KanRen (Dec 17, 2014)

Captain Mclain said:


> The author is ESI. She is known to be bias and describing her own quadra in a positive light and the other quadra in a negative light. Many 'Socionics experts' have pointed this out.
> 
> The authors relation with IEI is that IEI is benefiting from her. The authors relationship with SLE is that she supervise SLE.
> 
> ...


What do you mean by "conquered"? Is a stable relation between an INFp male and ESTp female?


Within the article regarding the part I posted, it seems like Stratiyevskaya is describing the duality between an ethical subtype INFp male and logical subtype ESTp female.


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