# I'm a woman - ask me anything



## Enfpleasantly

Snakecharmer said:


> Yes! Same here, and it is for the same reasons. My last boyfriend asked me about it once...he said, "Hey, who were YOU dreaming about last night?" Awkward.
> 
> Where the mind goes, the body follows.


Yes! stimulate my mind, the rest all falls into place. 

I had the most intense dreams when I was pregnant; they were either ridiculously sexual, or ridiculously violent. I remember one of them was literally just a constant curtain of pouring blood...just a screen of blood in my mind...I thought for sure I was going to deliver the child of Satan, haha!


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## pageofadiary

Snakecharmer said:


> LOL!
> 
> It seems mysterious, but think about it...I think this applies to men in a more obvious and intense manner, but when you think about something that turns you on, you have a physical reaction, right?
> 
> Well, back when I was really into hypnosis, I used to chat with other hypnotists online once in awhile. One of them was experimenting with hypnosis and human performance. Because I was very involved with weight lifting at the time, he asked me to participate in his research. We live very far apart, so all of our collaboration took place via phone. We got to know each other pretty well, so after awhile we ended up experimenting with sexual responses. He gave me some intense experiences.
> 
> I need to find his phone number...lol


Note to self: Find a hypnotist to "date". :laughing:

When I think about something that turns me on I do have a reaction but not an orgasm. That usually takes physical touch accompanied with concentration.

Were you able to reach that point without physical touch because of the study or is it something you are able to do without the help of hypnosis and/or the skilled hypnotist?


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## Snakecharmer

pageofadiary said:


> Note to self: Find a hypnotist to "date". :laughing:
> 
> When I think about something that turns me on I do have a reaction but not an orgasm. That usually takes physical touch accompanied with concentration.
> 
> Were you able to reach that point without physical touch because of the study or is it something you are able to do without the help of hypnosis and/or the skilled hypnotist?


I had the honor of very briefly dating my hypnotherapy instructor (LONG after completing my certification) and oh, how awesome he was. Sadly, he wasn't looking for a relationship at the time, and I'm not a casual sex kind of girl. 

Let the reaction go farther. It takes practice and I have found it works much better if I have someone else talking me through it. I have trouble doing it alone because I'm easily distracted. My mind will start to wander to non-sexy subjects, like all the things I need to accomplish at work the next day, or the laundry or whatever. lol


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## Enfpleasantly

@Snakecharmer, I used self hypnosis to deliver my youngest without any pain medication or an epidural. I was induced and had Pitocin going too. It was Hypnobabies I used, not sure if you're familiar with it. The mind is very powerful.


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## Snakecharmer

Enfpleasantly said:


> @Snakecharmer, I used self hypnosis to deliver my youngest without any pain medication or an epidural. I was induced and had Pitocin going too. It was Hypnobabies I used, not sure if you're familiar with it. The mind is very powerful.


That's awesome! I used Hypnobirthing too. My instructor was a student at the time, and he practiced on me when I was pregnant with my son. You were induced and had Pitocin and STILL didn't need pain meds? You are my hero. That's incredible, really. I planned to have a drug-free birth with my son, but he was breech so I ended up needing an epidural. But - hypnosis helped me through labor. I went into labor around 3:30 am. When I called the midwife, she said I sounded "too calm" and didn't think I was truly in labor (despite it being my second pregnancy and hey - I know MY body). 

When I got to the hospital, I was still completely calm. No one thought I was actually in labor. Well...I was almost completely dilated and fully effaced. lol They thought I was a freak!


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## Geodude

Liking this thread - really enjoying the open and honest discourse 

Question - do different guys taste different? I would guess they would, but lacking in a point of reference. 
Other Question - how inclined are you to do something you're not especially excited about sexually but your partner loves. From my point of view men seem fairly disinclined, but women seem more so, but would be nice to get the inside story?
When at school did you feel pressured into certain (gender stereotyped) careers?


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## pageofadiary

Snakecharmer said:


> I had the honor of very briefly dating my hypnotherapy instructor (LONG after completing my certification) and oh, how awesome he was. Sadly, he wasn't looking for a relationship at the time, and I'm not a casual sex kind of girl.
> 
> Let the reaction go farther. It takes practice and I have found it works much better if I have someone else talking me through it. I have trouble doing it alone because I'm easily distracted. My mind will start to wander to non-sexy subjects, like all the things I need to accomplish at work the next day, or the laundry or whatever. lol


Ah, I see. So basically talking through it with a partner where the focus is reaching orgasm without touch. Patience and concentration is key then.


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## Mr. Meepers

@Snakecharmer or anyone,

Have you ever gotten a man to orgasm without touching him?


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## Enfpleasantly

Snakecharmer said:


> That's awesome! I used Hypnobirthing too. My instructor was a student at the time, and he practiced on me when I was pregnant with my son. You were induced and had Pitocin and STILL didn't need pain meds? You are my hero. That's incredible, really. I planned to have a drug-free birth with my son, but he was breech so I ended up needing an epidural. But - hypnosis helped me through labor. I went into labor around 3:30 am. When I called the midwife, she said I sounded "too calm" and didn't think I was truly in labor (despite it being my second pregnancy and hey - I know MY body).
> 
> When I got to the hospital, I was still completely calm. No one thought I was actually in labor. Well...I was almost completely dilated and fully effaced. lol They thought I was a freak!


Haha thanks  Honestly, the hypnosis worked up until transition, but once transition hit, it all went out the window...but I still did good, and I'm glad I did it. I typically avoid pain like crazy...no tattoos, I don't like roller coasters, cringe at the idea of paintball, freak if someone tries to snap me with a rubber band, etc. so it meant a lot to me that I made it through the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life, voluntarily.


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## pageofadiary

Mr. Meepers said:


> @Snakecharmer or anyone,
> 
> Have you ever gotten a man to orgasm without touching him?


I've done it with just kissing. Without touch though... 

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! :laughing:


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## Snakecharmer

Woof said:


> Liking this thread - really enjoying the open and honest discourse


I'm glad. Me too. I hope more females chime in. 




Woof said:


> Question - do different guys taste different? I would guess they would, but lacking in a point of reference.


Ha - these questions embarrass me a little. I think mostly the same. I've mostly been in long-term relationships, so I don't have that many to compare.  I did notice variation in taste in the same man from time to time. I'm sure that was based on diet. 



Woof said:


> Other Question - how inclined are you to do something you're not especially excited about sexually but your partner loves. From my point of view men seem fairly disinclined, but women seem more so, but would be nice to get the inside story?


It really depends. Certain things are an absolute no, but I'm pretty open-minded. If he loves it and it isn't completely repulsive to me, then I'm down.



Woof said:


> When at school did you feel pressured into certain (gender stereotyped) careers?


Yes - mostly by my own mother, unfortunately. She meant well, though...she always told me to "be a secretary for the federal government and work your way up". I know WHY she said that - my father worked for the federal gov for his entire career (he's an engineer) and she associated it with stability and excellent pay and benefits. My father was the exception; he wanted me to get an engineering degree. 

I wanted to go to medical school to be a psychiatrist, though, and my parents talked me out of it. Most of the women I went to HS with are now stay-at-home moms or teachers. I don't know of any who became doctors, lawyers, or scientists. 

I'm glad that young women today have more resources to help them choose a career, and more social encouragement to pursue careers in math and science.


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## INTJellectual

Mr. Meepers said:


> @_Snakecharmer_ or anyone,
> 
> Have you ever gotten a man to orgasm without touching him?


Yes. By saying just lustful words and wearing sexy clothes.


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## Snakecharmer

pageofadiary said:


> Ah, I see. So basically talking through it with a partner where the focus is reaching orgasm without touch. Patience and concentration is key then.


If you have a very vivid imagination, you might find it easy to learn. My ADD or whatever it is kicks in and I lose focus. If you are able to stay focused, it will probably be simple for you. 

Maybe try listening to erotica?


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## Snakecharmer

INTJellectual said:


> Yes. By saying just lustful words and wearing sexy clothes.


^ This. I think it is far easier for a man to "get there" without physical stimulation. lol


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## Mr. Meepers

pageofadiary said:


> I've done it with just kissing. Without touch though...
> 
> CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! :laughing:





INTJellectual said:


> Yes. By saying just lustful words and wearing sexy clothes.



That is awesome ... this reaffirms my belief that women are made of magic :tongue:

Also, if someone needs a volunteer in order to complete a challenge ... I might be willing to volunteer :tongue:


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## Snakecharmer

Enfpleasantly said:


> Haha thanks  Honestly, the hypnosis worked up until transition, but once transition hit, it all went out the window...but I still did good, and I'm glad I did it. I typically avoid pain like crazy...no tattoos, I don't like roller coasters, cringe at the idea of paintball, freak if someone tries to snap me with a rubber band, etc. so it meant a lot to me that I made it through the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life, voluntarily.


Well, transition is crazy time. lol  

How many children do you have?


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## Enfpleasantly

Snakecharmer said:


> Well, transition is crazy time. lol
> 
> How many children do you have?


3...boys


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## Snakecharmer

Enfpleasantly said:


> 3...boys


I bet you are BUSY. lol I think boys are easier, though. My daughter was really high-maintenance when she was younger. She's ISTJ and is very independent now. My son is very easygoing and adaptable. Everything was drama with my daughter when she was his age.


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## Mr. Meepers

2 similar questions:

- If you knew you were going to be biologically a male for one day, what would you do?

- If you suddenly woke up as a man, how would you feel? After the initial shock and once you realized no one operated on you in your sleep or what not ... Do you think you would identify and/or feel like a man? Or do you think you would keep seeing yourself as a woman? ... Other than dating and sexual relationships, do you think it would affect your life?

Okay, that was more than two questions lol


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## Enfpleasantly

Bolded answers...



Mr. Meepers said:


> 2 similar questions:
> 
> - If you knew you were going to be biologically a male for one day, what would you do?* I would definitely want to experience sex, I would probably try out my strength, and play with my voice a lot...it would be fun to have a deeper voice for a day
> *
> - If you suddenly woke up as a man, how would you feel? After the initial shock and once you realized no one operated on you in your sleep or what not ... Do you think you would identify and/or feel like a man? Or do you think you would keep seeing yourself as a woman? ... Other than dating and sexual relationships, do you think it would affect your life?
> *
> Well, my Husband would likely leave me so that would suck, and my kids would probably freak out, along with everyone else who knows me, however, I think I would be fine. I'm pretty adaptable. I think I would definitely miss being a woman, but I would be able to live as a man if I had no other choice.
> 
> Eta: I actually think I could even identify as a man if I changed like that. It's hard to imagine, but I think I could. I think of that song "If I Were a Boy".
> *
> Okay, that was more than two questions lol


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## Wellsy

Is it the tone of voice, or what he says that is most appealing?

What kind of women did or do you look up to if any?

Even at this later stage in life, do you still find there's men who seem very much the same as teenage boys in their mentality?

Would you be willing to share one accident or amusing moment shared with someone in the bedroom?

Even though those who answer will most likely be heterosexuals, can you view a woman's body as beautiful?
That you can view a naked woman, not a bit sexually but still appreciate how wonderful she looks.

What is it about shoes that drives you mental? If this doesn't apply to you, skip 

Are you breasts/nipples somewhat sensitive?


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## Enfpleasantly

Wellsy said:


> Is it the tone of voice, or what he says that is most appealing? *Both. I will be honest, if the guy has a brilliant mind and amazing things to say, but he sounds like Fred, it would be hard for me to be attracted to him. I know that sounds shallow...but it wouldn't be impossible either. I like calm, steadiness in a voice. I'm pretty animated so I appreciate a laid back tone.*
> 
> What kind of women did or do you look up to if any? *Strong women who can not only stand their ground and have a voice, but also know when it's appropriate to let her man be a man. My Mother and Grandmother instilled some old fashioned values in me that would make a feminist wanna choke me out, but I believe those values actually help make a strong woman. My Grandma took pride in herself that she never denied her Husband sex. That might sound crazy to some, but if there is no legitimate reason to deny him, then I don't think you should. *
> 
> Even at this later stage in life, do you still find there's men who seem very much the same as teenage boys in their mentality?* I'm only 30, but yes...men and woman can act like 15 years olds at any age. *
> 
> Would you be willing to share one accident or amusing moment shared with someone in the bedroom? *No *
> 
> Even though those who answer will most likely be heterosexuals, can you view a woman's body as beautiful?
> That you can view a naked woman, not a bit sexually but still appreciate how wonderful she looks.* Yes, absolutely. *
> 
> What is it about shoes that drives you mental? If this doesn't apply to you, skip  *I have no idea, I just love them. The right style, height (I can wear them as high as I want since I'm only 5'2"), color, material...when it's all there in one shoe, I feel a rush through my body and adrenaline. It's kind of pathetic actually, haha! *
> 
> Are you breasts/nipples somewhat sensitive?


*Yes*.


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## petite libellule

Wellsy said:


> Is it the tone of voice, or what he says that is most appealing? The tone of voice, the volume and pace are all important. While I can follow a guy talking fast, I prefer them to speak slower than me. I then eventually mellow my pace to match theirs and everything is always racing in my head so fast that it makes me feel softer, and more comfortable. What he says is important. But what is even more important is if what he does matches what he says. When a guy has a deep voice (it's for sure attractive(Like Dustin Lynch) but interestingly enough, 2 of the 3 major relationships I've had in my life, the men had softer voices than average. I absolutely notice voice. Especially laughing. (from females too) Hearing laughter is like wrapping yourself with a blanket right out of the dryer while your standing in a freezing house with cold feet. I know. I'm weird :tongue:
> 
> What kind of women did or do you look up to if any?
> My Grandma from Ireland, my Nana, and I also had 9 great aunts growing up and 1 family friend who raised 10 children. All these women were pretty old school in their way of running the house. I absolutely admire(d) many of their attributes as women.
> 
> Even at this later stage in life, do you still find there's men who seem very much the same as teenage boys in their mentality? ABSOLUTELY!!! But I think it is fair to mention that I also know men who have matured into amazing men(not boys). I think the same could be said for women. Some are childish longer than necessary. We all figure it out eventually ... I hope
> 
> Would you be willing to share one accident or amusing moment shared with someone in the bedroom? I suppose both. As I've experienced both. I think those make for "charming" memories. And so typically when I go through a less than desired(embarrassing or want not) scenario, I usually smile or laugh at myself in hindsight - because I know that one day, all of this will be nothing more than a memory ...
> 
> There are two boxes in my head. "charming memories"
> and those yet to be figured out to be charming memories, called "lessons learned(learning/figuring.out) ...
> 
> Even though those who answer will most likely be heterosexuals, can you view a woman's body as beautiful? (yes)
> That you can view a naked woman, not a bit sexually but still appreciate how wonderful she looks.
> 
> What is it about shoes that drives you mental? If this doesn't apply to you, skip
> I have nooooo idea. I just like them a lot.
> Good Question! never really thought about it before ...
> 
> Are you breasts/nipples somewhat sensitive?


 yes


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## wiarumas

I had no idea. Now all those women commenting on my voice in the past seem less weird. 

What about hands/fingers? I still remember a girl telling me she loved my hands and fingers. I thought it hinted at a sexual reference amd probably was the wierdest compliment ive ever recieved. Can anyone explain that?


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## tanstaafl28

Snakecharmer said:


> We need this, right?
> 
> 
> :laughing:
> 
> I'll put myself out there and say that not only am I a woman, but an "older" one...not sure about _wiser_, but experienced, sure.
> 
> Ask away!



I can't think of anything to ask, but I wanted to post my support of all things women! 


:tongue:


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## Enfpleasantly

wiarumas said:


> I had no idea. Now all those women commenting on my voice in the past seem less weird.
> 
> What about hands/fingers? I still remember a girl telling me she loved my hands and fingers. I thought it hinted at a sexual reference amd probably was the wierdest compliment ive ever recieved. Can anyone explain that?


Yes, there is a certain male hand that I prefer, but I can't put my finger on what it is I like about them...haha, can't put my finger on it  I would say there is a certain balance between roughness and softness I like in them, I like being able to see veins, and I like them to look strong. I don't care for long slender fingers, but that doesn't mean I think there's anything wrong with them.

like these...


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## petite libellule

wiarumas said:


> What about hands/fingers? I still remember a girl telling me she loved my hands and fingers. I thought it hinted at a sexual reference amd probably was the wierdest compliment ive ever recieved. Can anyone explain that?


I've mentioned this a couple of times on the forum. And I really don't think I'm all that different(weird) aside from the fact that I actually think about all the things I like, and why I like them.  Anyways, I'm a fan of men. I like chest hair, I am severely weirded out when they trim their toe hair or wax/trim their chest and I love their hands. I think the hands are a major turn on. I notice them and I notice myself noticing them. (well, actually, that's my weirdness. I notice myself noticing stuff then ask why) so my "theory" is that I notice hands (when the guy opens a door for me or does things with their hands like fixing something, picking up something or whatever) I think I notice it because I feel like an instinctive "safety" feeling that typically accompanies it. Also I am "smitten" for lack of a better word , when I see all the things that men "create" with their hands. This isn't an adoration that is necessarily sexual. My cousin is a graphic artist and I love to see him draw. I am taken back by past boyfriend carpentry skills. Stuff like that. It puts me in a submissive mode kinda. But not powerless by any means. I hope that makes sense and doesn't sound too too weird :/


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## Monkey King

Wellsy said:


> Is it the tone of voice, or what he says that is most appealing?


Both. 



> What kind of women did or do you look up to if any?


A strong independent woman who wears her integrity like an impenetrable armor. My mother is an ESTJ type 3 sp/sx if that gives you any clue. She emphasized tradition, honor, intelligence, integrity, strength, work, and humility. 



> Even at this later stage in life, do you still find there's men who seem very much the same as teenage boys in their mentality?


I'm in my mid 20s but I find my age group still act like they're 18-21. I can understand those who are still single to act this way, but the ones who have family are questionable. 



> Even though those who answer will most likely be heterosexuals, can you view a woman's body as beautiful?
> That you can view a naked woman, not a bit sexually but still appreciate how wonderful she looks.


Yes. I like drawing women's bodies more than men. The curves are more interesting to lay lines to because it must convey a certain delicateness of form as oppose to men's rigid masculinity that one would have to portray on canvas. There is a more visceral thought process when it comes to drawing a man and more freedom of expression when it comes to a woman. Both are beautiful but in different ways. 



> What is it about shoes that drives you mental? If this doesn't apply to you, skip


Let me use something that you might understand. It's like driving a truck. The higher the heel---well you know. 



> What about hands/fingers? I still remember a girl telling me she loved my hands and fingers. I thought it hinted at a sexual reference amd probably was the wierdest compliment ive ever recieved. Can anyone explain that?


@wiarumas

It signifies protection and hard work. It could be sexual, but for me it's a metaphor for family. Ability to protect his family and how hard working he is etc.


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## Badassimus

I have some questions too and the courage due to the internet to ask 
1) Does sex hurt sometimes or only for the first time and then it becomes a harmless pleasure ?
2) Why do you think you appear or you really are more emotional.
3) Have you ever feared that men will do sexual harrasment to you?
Excuse me if i have any misspelling english is nt my native alnguage and i am a dyslexic.


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## Enfpleasantly

@_Monkey King and @Ningsta Kitty, _I feel the same about hands. Hands are probably one of the #1 things that say "man" to me. Does this happen to you?...It's like I see hands and imagine them going through everything in life...holding mine, holding a baby, working, protecting, loving, soothing, even sexual. It's like my mind takes me on a journey of the entire experience of what a life would be like with those hands, but it's very fast, like a flash. I think it's automatic even. Does that make sense? The weird thing about that is, I do have a specific taste in hands that tell me certain things that other hands wouldn't show. Can you relate?

ETA: I should clarify that I don't scope out hands like this for myself anymore, haha! I do this to size men up in general, or for example, if my Sister introduced me to a new boyfriend, I would imagine his hands going through life with her and it would give me an idea about him. Of course, this idea wouldn't be set in stone at all, and again, it's very quick, like instantly.


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## wiarumas

I typically don't notice the woman's hands until a couple weeks into the relationship lmao.


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## Monkey King

Enfpleasantly said:


> I feel the same about hands. Hands are probably one of the #1 things that say "man" to me. Does this happen to you?...It's like I see hands and imagine them going through everything in life...holding mine, holding a baby, working, protecting, loving, soothing, even sexual. It's like my mind takes me on a journey of the entire experience of what a life would be like with those hands, but it's very fast, like a flash. I think it's automatic even. Does that make sense? The weird thing about that is, I do have a specific taste in hands that tell me certain things that other hands wouldn't show. Can you relate?
> 
> ETA: I should clarify that I don't scope out hands like this for myself anymore, haha! I do this to size men up in general, or for example, if my Sister introduced me to a new boyfriend, I would imagine his hands going through life with her and it would give me an idea about him. Of course, this idea wouldn't be set in stone at all, and again, it's very quick, like instantly.


While I don't get that flash of life events I do think that hands in general say a few things about a person. It's like when you get an impression of someone by how they shake your hand. It's around the same category. 

A person who often uses his hands which requires heavy labor will have calloused, hard hands. 
A writer/artist may have a callouses on his fingers but softer in other areas 
A person who have relatively soft hands will signify that this person does not have manual hobbies or a job that requires manual work. 
A person with dirt underneath the nails will also say something about the person. 
A person who are heavy on their hands and a person who are light on their hands say something as well. (dentists and artists I've come across are light on their hands.) 
A man who gets manicures---well that says a lot with how he'd like to present himself, which areas he like to spend his disposable income on
etc...

I would not say this is one of the #1 things for me that conveys 'man' but it gives me information about the man, which I then use to see if it matches with the rest of him. I have met men who have hard hands and they treat women like they were still toddlers. I have met men who have soft, effeminate hands who treat women like a grown man. And I only notice these things when I am attracted to the man OR when it's obvious. 

While my first answer conveys how I feel, this is what I think. I separate the two. 



-----------
I have some questions. 

How is it like being a mother? 

Do you find it limiting? If yes, how so? If no, why not? 

To what extent in your life do you find this phrase true: " You are your mother's daughter." 

For those who are married or were married. If you had to pick one thing about your partner that made you say 'yes,' what was it?


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## Monkey King

Badassimus said:


> 2) Why do you think you appear or you really are more emotional.


Actually, men have accused me of being shut off/unemotional. When I was younger this made me think I was unemotional. Which is a bit funny because I've found my actions towards the men that judged me in this way as me being emotional. So what I can contrive from this experience is that I am not conventionally emotional or I refrain from showing emotions despite my perceptions of my own emotions toward person(s).

I can understand how limiting this can be to my own personal growth and character but have become more aware of myself that I know when to be more 'open' even when I think I am being open _enough_. ick. lmao 



> 3) Have you ever feared that men will do sexual harrasment to you?


I fear more that a stupid driver will kill me on my drive to work.


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## android654

wiarumas said:


> I typically don't notice the woman's hands until a couple weeks into the relationship lmao.


That's weird. Hands are the fourth thing I notice about a woman, almost right away.


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## wiarumas

android654 said:


> That's weird. Hands are the fourth thing I notice about a woman, almost right away.


Mine is something like - hair, eyes, smile, breasts, ass, legs... I think I'll notice calves, feet/shoes, and even arms before hands. And even then, I'm mostly looking at ring finger.


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## petite libellule

wiarumas said:


> Mine is something like - hair, eyes, smile, breasts, ass, legs... I think I'll notice calves, feet/shoes, and even arms before hands. And even then, I'm mostly looking at ring finger.


but you're not looking right. Because your married  Lol! :tongue:


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## android654

wiarumas said:


> Mine is something like - hair, eyes, smile, breasts, ass, legs... I think I'll notice calves, feet/shoes, and even arms before hands. And even then, I'm mostly looking at ring finger.


You notice breasts before legs? Hair before eyes? You sir are weird.


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## petite libellule

android654 said:


> You notice breasts before legs? Hair before eyes? You sir are weird.


while there are some women that I find "weird" ... ALL men are weird to me 

eyes, smile, height, shoulders, hands ... 
something like that I think ...


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## Enfpleasantly

Monkey King said:


> -----------
> I have some questions.
> 
> How is it like being a mother? *I adore being a Mom, but* *it's not all wonderful bliss, that's for sure. I love my kids, but they also drain me, so it's important to take time out for grown-up stuff. I tried a few years ago to be perfect, but it made me miserable. I'm a good Mom, even if I do get impatient, and mess up. When I do mess up, I have no problem telling them I'm sorry.
> 
> Motherhood is probably the most life changing thing I've ever experienced; it made the point of my survival no longer about myself because I need to be alive for them now. I felt this change even before they were born. When I was pregnant, I remember being scared for my well-being more than ever, because I was fearful my baby would die in my body as a result of my death or injury. I didn't become consumed in fear, I actually became stronger, and more tough. I'd do ANYTHING to protect them. I used to say I'd aim for a kneecap if an intruder came in my home, but when I became a Mom, I changed my mind...I'd aim for the head. I've also become more sensitive to suffering in general, and I'm much more aware of danger. Another funny change was when I have extra money to spend, I find myself shopping for them
> *
> Do you find it limiting? If yes, how so? If no, why not? *Yes because it takes a lot of sacrifice, but it really is worth it. They bring me so much joy that I honestly can't really remember what I did before I had them. *
> 
> To what extent in your life do you find this phrase true: " You are your mother's daughter." *I'm like her quite a bit when it comes to Motherhood, but I think I'm more of an outside of the box thinker as far as understanding my kids on an emotional level. She and I are pretty different...I have her smile though *
> 
> For those who are married or were married. If you had to pick one thing about your partner that made you say 'yes,' what was it?* I can't pick just one thing; it was the whole package. He pretty much has it all, but I would say the ability to make me laugh is the biggest thing. *


Bolded in the quote.


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## Sovereign

If women are that into hands, I'm boned.

I have dry skin, callouses, and bitten nails with dirt under them half the time. Why?

Other things are more important than pretty hands. By that I mean pretty much everything.


----------



## wiarumas

android654 said:


> You notice breasts before legs? Hair before eyes? You sir are weird.


I'm nearly certain hair is the most common among men. Not weird at all. That's one reason women's hair is long to begin with. It signals "I'm a female" from a distance. It also signifies so much about the woman.

The only times I notice legs before tits is when she's exposing them and that's mostly weather dependent. Breasts are almost always there either with cleavage or just general shape under tight fitting clothing. But when spring time hits and every girl in the world starts pulling out those skirts and dresses, it's borderline an unspoken holiday for men and I am definitely looking at legs in the top 3 if not #1.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Sovereign said:


> If women are that into hands, I'm boned.
> 
> I have dry skin, callouses, and bitten nails with dirt under them half the time. Why?
> 
> Other things are more important than pretty hands. By that I mean pretty much everything.


I'd rather hands like that than feminine hands...personally. I was thinking about this, and I think my vision of hands is tied very closely to my Father's. I look for hands like his. That sounds creepy, but I think mature people know what I mean.


----------



## petite libellule

Monkey King said:


> How is it like being a mother? It's like having a vital organ walking around in the world.
> 
> Do you find it limiting? If yes, how so? If no, why not? Yes. I absolutely do. I have to think of his happiness before my own. His care before my own. If I had only one thing to eat in the house, I'd go hungry (not that I'm starving). Just the point. This means I can't go out whenever. I am on call 24/7 (in reality). I have to manage my whole mind so as to be the best mom I can be which means I just can't "go with the flow" like a "leaf blowing in the wind" (no matter how much I want to sometimes). I need to know things are safe. And I think that is a normal instinct. Which limits the people I can allow into my heart. My kid deserves a happy healthy mom and to be in a happy and healthy environment.
> 
> To what extent in your life do you find this phrase true: " You are your mother's daughter." Actually, not as much as I hear "you are your fathers daughter" ... I absolutely have his sense of humor and a similar way of thinking. I think my mom is an ISFJ and my dad was an ENTP. But I could be wrong. I do worry a lot which is something she does and I have a pact w/ my best friend that if I were to ever turn into my mother .... and that if I should die, she is to fry my laptop and burn my diaries
> 
> For those who are married or were married. If you had to pick one thing about your partner that made you say 'yes,' what was it?


 He was my best friend ,,, there wasn't really one thing.


----------



## android654

wiarumas said:


> I'm nearly certain hair is the most common among men. Not weird at all. That's one reason women's hair is long to begin with. It signals "I'm a female" from a distance. It also signifies so much about the woman.


Meh, not crazy about long hair, guess that makes me atypical. And you're wrong hair's not a sexual descriptor we respond to, it serves a purpose not unlike dermis all over the body, it's got nothing to do with sex. Once upon a time we all had the same hair cut, shaggy.



> The only times I notice legs before tits is when she's exposing them and that's mostly weather dependent. Breasts are almost always there either with cleavage or just general shape under tight fitting clothing. But when spring time hits and every girl in the world starts pulling out those skirts and dresses, it's borderline an unspoken holiday for men and I am definitely looking at legs in the top 3 if not #1.


Do women even wear skirts anymore? Is there a place that sells dresses if it's not for a specific function like a wedding? Winter's better for me, tight pants make average legs look amazing with minimal effort. So it's a holiday for me all the year round.


----------



## Sovereign

Enfpleasantly said:


> I'd rather hands like that than feminine hands...personally. I was thinking about this, and I think my vision of hands is tied very closely to my Father's. I look for hands like his. That sounds creepy, but I think mature people know what I mean.


Imprinting. I probably subconsciously look for physical features like my mom's, but I haven't bothered to identify specific cases of this.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

@Ningsta Kitty

Omg, the vital organ thing....perfect answer!


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Sovereign said:


> Imprinting. I probably subconsciously look for physical features like my mom's, but I haven't bothered to identify specific cases of this.


Oddly enough, my Dad is ENTJ 163 and I married ENTJ 361. They are different, but the main qualities from my Dad that defines what a man should be (to me), they share.


----------



## petite libellule

Sovereign said:


> Other things are more important than pretty hands.


 I don't know what kind of hands other women are into. I'm not into "pretty" hands. I think that so long as you clip your nails, you're good  And WASH your hands for crying out loud. that too ... Men who metrosexually lotion their hands are disqualified  lol! ... Just don't be creepy with your hands. There's that too. Look with your eyes, not your hands. until you know it's okay


----------



## Sovereign

Enfpleasantly said:


> Oddly enough, my Dad is ENTJ 163 and I married ENTJ 361. They are different, but the main qualities from my Dad that defines what a man should be (to me), they share.


I like that phenomenon. I don't use it to play people, but it is handy to know what a woman is subconsciously looking for.


----------



## petite libellule

Enfpleasantly said:


> @_Ningsta Kitty_
> 
> Omg, the vital organ thing....perfect answer!




It's true ...


----------



## Sovereign

Ningsta Kitty said:


> I don't know what kind of hands other women are into. I'm not into "pretty" hands. I think that so long as you clip your nails, you're good  And WASH your hands for crying out loud. that too ... Men who metrosexually lotion their hands are disqualified  lol! ... Just don't be creepy with your hands. There's that too. Look with your eyes, not your hands. until you know it's okay


So THAT's why I can't get a date. You look with the EYES!

What was I thinking! D'oh....


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Ningsta Kitty said:


> I don't know what kind of hands other women are into. I'm not into "pretty" hands. I think that so long as you clip your nails, you're good  And WASH your hands for crying out loud. that too ... Men who metrosexually lotion their hands are disqualified  lol! ... Just don't be creepy with your hands. There's that too. Look with your eyes, not your hands. until you know it's okay


Lotion doesn't bother me if it's to prevent painful cracks, but if they are silky smoothe, I don't care for that...but it's not like it's a huge deal to me if they are. 

...I like a little metrosexual going on :blushed:

I just noticed I hit 3000 posts. Geezus I'm ridiculous, haha!


----------



## wiarumas

android654 said:


> Meh, not crazy about long hair, guess that makes me atypical. And you're wrong hair's not a sexual descriptor we respond to, it serves a purpose not unlike dermis all over the body, it's got nothing to do with sex. Once upon a time we all had the same hair cut, shaggy.
> 
> Do women even wear skirts anymore? Is there a place that sells dresses if it's not for a specific function like a wedding? Winter's better for me, tight pants make average legs look amazing with minimal effort. So it's a holiday for me all the year round.


No skirts, no dresses, what do women in your world wear? Nothing but pants?

I don't know much about women's clothing but I do know about summer dresses and how you can buy them literally in any store that sells womens clothing. Then there are all he different cut of cocktail dresses and stuff for evening wear.


----------



## petite libellule

Enfpleasantly said:


> ...I like a little metrosexual going on :blushed:


 LOL! I'm not talking about crazy chapped "ouchie" hands! lol! ... I just don't like it when a guy gets carried away. I had a friend in high school (who I never dated) who had to change his tire once, and he wiped his hands in the wet grass when we was done. He was also grossed out killing spiders. It's like that. The metrosexual thing just doesn't do it for me. Not that I wouldn't think they are awesome people Just that it's not a "turn on" so to speak ...


----------



## petite libellule

Enfpleasantly said:


> Lotion doesn't bother me if it's to prevent painful cracks, but if they are silky smoothe, I don't care for that...but it's not like it's a huge deal to me if they are.
> 
> ...I like a little metrosexual going on :blushed:
> 
> I just noticed I hit 3000 posts. Geezus I'm ridiculous, haha!


Aaaaawesome! :crazy::kitteh::tongue:


----------



## android654

wiarumas said:


> No skirts, no dresses, what do women in your world wear? Nothing but pants?


 That and shorts in the summer.



> I don't know much about women's clothing but I do know about summer dresses and how you can buy them literally in any store that sells womens clothing. Then there are all he different cut of cocktail dresses and stuff for evening wear.


I was being colorful with my language.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Ningsta Kitty said:


> LOL! I'm not talking about crazy chapped "ouchie" hands! lol! ... I just don't like it when a guy gets carried away. I had a friend in high school (who I never dated) who had to change his tire once, and he wiped his hands in the wet grass when we was done. He was also grossed out killing spiders. It's like that. The metrosexual thing just doesn't do it for me. Not that I wouldn't think they are awesome people Just that it's not a "turn on" so to speak ...


Well, when I say metrosexual, I mean in the style department. I like a guy who can dress well and I don't have to beg him to look nice when we go to a wedding. I know this is shallow, I can't help it, haha!

and as far as dresses that the guys are talking about, I love dresses. I live in them in the summer. They are so efficient! A entire outfit for like $20! Perfect


----------



## petite libellule

For single women, what does "Mr. Right" look like? 
(like 3-5 personality/physical traits)


----------



## Snakecharmer

Wellsy said:


> Is it the tone of voice, or what he says that is most appealing?


What he says, usually. Although...I tend to like a dominating tone of voice in the bedroom. 




Wellsy said:


> What kind of women did or do you look up to if any?


Women who are self-made and/or have overcome obstacles to success.




Wellsy said:


> Even at this later stage in life, do you still find there's men who seem very much the same as teenage boys in their mentality?


Of course. :wink: My last boyfriend is one of them. My ex-husband is too. Sometimes it is endearing, and other times it is freakin' annoying.



Wellsy said:


> Would you be willing to share one accident or amusing moment shared with someone in the bedroom?


Oh boy. I have the mother of all stories, but am scared to post it on a public forum. I'll think about it. It is very embarassing...involves a certain er...toy, that got stuck somewhere...



Wellsy said:


> Even though those who answer will most likely be heterosexuals, can you view a woman's body as beautiful?
> 
> That you can view a naked woman, not a bit sexually but still appreciate how wonderful she looks.


Of course. I've got a mad girl-crush on Mila Kunis. I also really admire the work and dediction female athletes put into their physiques. 




Wellsy said:


> What is it about shoes that drives you mental? If this doesn't apply to you, skip


I don't know! LOL I think it is that the right shoes always look good, even if I'm having an insecure body day. 




Wellsy said:


> Are you breasts/nipples somewhat sensitive?


Hahaha...yes. Nipple-gasm, anyone...?


----------



## petite libellule

Snakecharmer said:


> Hahaha...yes. Nipple-gasm, anyone...?


 *clears throat* ........... I haven't the faintest idea what you are alluding to. :tongue:


----------



## Enfpleasantly

RetroVortex said:


> What is the big deal with women toiletries!?
> 
> 
> I work in a supermarket and I have to pick this stuff all the time, and I'm struggling to understand what the actual differences these products have, (if they have ANY difference at all! (Shampoo is just shampoo to me! (I just grab whatever is on sale or popular! XD)))
> 
> 
> And those damn tights too! Takes me ages to find the right pair. So many different types with numbers and letters flying at me. It's so gosh darn confusing!



Some shampoo makes my hair feel nicer than others. My hair is not thin, but it's very fine, like toddler hair, so the wrong product can weigh my hair down and make it look icky. It can also knot easier if I use the wrong shampoo and conditioner. I don't like wearing hairspray or anything that takes away from movement and making it feel soft. I wear very minimal hairspray and I buy only salon grade hairspray for those reasons. 

Body wash I look for moisturizing and exfoliating. I use a lot of natural products I make on my own, like olive oil for moisturizer, brown sugar for exfoliating, baking soda, lemon, honey, etc. I also apply vitamin D oil to my face. 


I don't wear tights; I despise them. I love leggings though.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you read these words? I asked the men the same thing and I'm curious to see if there's a difference. 


Willow


Titillating


Sack


Lips


Hard


----------



## Rachel Something

Enfpleasantly said:


> What's the first thing that comes to mind when you read these words? I asked the men the same thing and I'm curious to see if there's a difference.
> 
> 
> Willow *(The character from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer".)*
> 
> 
> Titillating *(I dunno... lingerie, I guess.)*
> 
> 
> Sack *(A ball sack.)*
> 
> 
> Lips *(A nicely shaped female mouth wearing red lipstick, and doing something like sucking on a straw, or eating fruit or candy... I'm not sure why because I don't even like red lipstick all that much, but I guess some people can pull it off.)*
> 
> 
> Hard *(A boner.)*


My responses are in bold.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Here are my own answers: 


Willow: pussy willow, the tree

Titillating: tits

Sack: of potatoes

Lips: mouth

Hard: difficult


----------



## Rachel Something

RetroVortex said:


> What is the big deal with women toiletries!?
> 
> I work in a supermarket and I have to pick this stuff all the time, and I'm struggling to understand what the actual differences these products have, (if they have ANY difference at all! (Shampoo is just shampoo to me! (I just grab whatever is on sale or popular! XD)))
> 
> And those damn tights too! Takes me ages to find the right pair. So many different types with numbers and letters flying at me. It's so gosh darn confusing!


There are different products for different types and textures of hair, as well as dandruff, chemically treated and colour treated hair. The same thing goes for skin care products. Also, certain brands may achieve different results for different people. 

I agree that it can be confusing, particularly if you don't have a specific idea of what you need.

I don't wear tights, so I honestly don't know the first thing about shopping for that... but I don't mind leggings.


----------



## RetroVortex

Thanks for the replies gals! 
I was kinda half-joking, but the responses have been pretty insightful. (I live in a house with 4 guys and one gal, (me mum), so I never really learned about any of this stuff).
oh gosh! If I ever DO get a gal, I'm gonna look so daft about all this stuff!
(Well unless we just agree straight up to do our own toiletry shopping and not ask questions... XD)


----------



## Snakecharmer

William I am said:


> Why don't girls/women call back after swapping numbers with a guy?


We change our minds, maybe? It has been a long time since I've exchanged numbers with someone. The only reasons I can think of are that either something came up, I'm moody and don't feel like talking, or I changed my mind about the guy.


----------



## 2eng

Do you pee in the shower?

Do you pay attention to the type of car a guy drives?

What do you think of men that have foot fetishes? Btw I'm not one of them, to each his own... just not my thing

If you have ever received naked texts from your SO does it turn you on or do you just delete it and move on?

Have you ever had webcam sex?

This is good for now... if I think of more Ill ask.


----------



## chickydoda

Mr. Meepers

Why is the sky blue? Coz God liked that colour

What would you do if you were the first female president? Spin around in my chair behind my big fancy desk. 

Apple pie or Pumpkin pie? Which would you rather have? I don't know what I think about this dessert pie business. I don't tend to like most cooked fruit, but I've had pumpkin pie, and it was nice, although I don't usually like pumpkins.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? More than you

Which is cuter, kitties or puppies? Why? Kittens, puppies are kind of boring. Cats always win.

Meep? Moop.

[HR][/HR]
In the hypothetical you are still single (if you aren't) , w/ regards to a future SO (not a fling),
and you HAD to choose, just curious what the preference would be ... 


1. would you rather come home after work to a clean house, or a gourmet meal ? a clean house. We can order a pizza  A unclean house does my head in.
2. A smiley, happy, very average looking person, or a bipolar very sexy person? Probably the first one, based on the fact that I have Bipolar, and the idea of having two Bipolar people in one relationship is a bit crazy!
(as in the person of your pervy dreams)?
3. would you reject true love because the person didn't make enough money? No. I am planning to be the breadmaker in the family if possible, so it doesn't matter.
or wasn't up to par(in shape) as you would like? It doesn't matter, as long as health and fitness is a priority/goal

I skipped number 4 
Yes/No - Would you date a person who ...


5. Has a wooden peg leg who is crazy rich? Yes
6. bald person who has several very real looking wigs/toupees? no. Bald is fine. Balding is not.
7. an armless person who can play mozart w/ their toes. No. I want to be with someone that can hug me. Wow, I feel terrible...
8. a person w/ 20 rings on their neck, but gives phenomenal oral sex. No. Ick.
9. a severe burn victim who is a Boston marathoner personal trainer person. Probably only if I met them before the burns, I'm already high maintance enough, I don't like the thought of redoing someone's dressings and being their carer. If I already loved them, I wouldn't care.
10. a person with tattooed sleeves and piercings EVERYWHERE, but the person is as intelligent as they come. No. I'm ok with the tattoos, depending on what they are and how much skin they actually cover, but I don't like lots of piercings
11. a person who thinks he/she was King Tut/Cleopatra in their past life, but fits all other criteria of "the perfect man/woman". Yes.
12. a person who thinks he/she was Vlad the Impaler/Elizabeth Báthory in their past life, but fits all other criteria of "the perfect man/woman" No, because I'm not sure who those people are.

-Well that was fun


----------



## Jennywocky

android654 said:


> Do women even wear skirts anymore? Is there a place that sells dresses if it's not for a specific function like a wedding? Winter's better for me, tight pants make average legs look amazing with minimal effort. So it's a holiday for me all the year round.


I like dresses and skirts. I do wear jeans a lot, but especially when it's not freezing outside I'll wear dresses and skirts to work; in the winter, to pull that off, I have to wear thicker tights in order to stay warm, so pants (with socks and shoes/boots) are easier for me. But i like skirts more than slacks.

Few people have the perfectly sized body either, so dresses can sometimes be harder to size. It's easier to buy clothes when they're separates rather than one-piecers. Hence, skirts are a little better, because you can mix and match them with tops.



RetroVortex said:


> I work in a supermarket and I have to pick this stuff all the time, and I'm struggling to understand what the actual differences these products have, (if they have ANY difference at all! (Shampoo is just shampoo to me! (I just grab whatever is on sale or popular! XD)))


It depends on the item. For one, women's skin is generally thinner and more sensitive than men's skin, and the hairs are also not as thick/coarse -- hence "female razors". But even as far as shampoo, women's noses seem to be more sensitive over all, hence all the different scents. Also, there's various types of shampoo based on the oiliness and dryness of the hair, especially if you have longer hair. Different types of hair and different oil variants of hair need different types of shampoo to stay healthy and not get dried out.



> And those damn tights too! Takes me ages to find the right pair. So many different types with numbers and letters flying at me. It's so gosh darn confusing!


Heh, that is the different body types talking. We're all different heights, weights, and builds, and we need tights that fit accordingly. If you wear tights that are too small in the wrong spots, you're more liable to get runs, and it also can change the coloring of the rights where they are stretched too much. And baggy tights look really bad.


----------



## Jennywocky

2eng said:


> Do you pee in the shower?


I'll be honest: On occasional. Uhhhh.....saves on toilet paper. 



> Do you pay attention to the type of car a guy drives?


Only as far as it indicates his personality. I'm more apt to notice how clean or dirty he keeps the interior, and the basic type of car, as indicators.



> What do you think of men that have foot fetishes? Btw I'm not one of them, to each his own... just not my thing


I don't have a foot fetish and don't understand it. I'd rather he'd be into other parts of me that make me feel good, rather than just focused on my feet -- although I did have a toe sucker once and I was rather surprised as how good that felt. But it's not like I'm into needing my toes sucked.



> If you have ever received naked texts from your SO does it turn you on or do you just delete it and move on?


Haven't received any. If it was from a guy didn't know... kinda gross. If it was my SO, I'd probably laugh AND kinda find it provocative.

I'd consider sending naked texts to my SO just to surprise him; my main concern is making a mistake and sending it to my mother or something.



> Have you ever had webcam sex?


Not for money.
(j/k I've done it for money.)
((j/k j/k, no, seriously I've not done it for money or ever!))



Enfpleasantly said:


> Willow - *tree*
> Titillating - *stripshow*
> Sack - *potato*
> Lips - *vag*
> Hard - *penis*


see bold.

However, it was kind of unfair, as I had already been reading this thread, which was discussing sex. I'm not sure if my answers would all be the same if you caught me midday at work or something.



Enfpleasantly said:


> I don't wear tights; I despise them. I love leggings though.


Leggings rock. 




wiarumas said:


> Do you finish a bottle before moving onto the next or do you keep an inventory of half finished bottles scattered throughout the bathroom?


Haa, now I'm embarrassed. I try very hard to not leave half-finished bottles, so what I typically do now is every so often check everything and empty nearly empty bottles into the same bottle (since I typically buy some of the same things over time). 

However, I sometimes get sick of using a particular smell of soap or scrub and end up throwing it out before it's empty because I opened a bottle of a different smell for variety and am sick of having both around.


----------



## android654

chickydoda said:


> 12. a person who thinks he/she was Vlad the Impaler/Elizabeth Báthory in their past life, but fits all other criteria of "the perfect man/woman" No, because I'm not sure who those people are.


Really? Vlad Tepes is what we now know as Dracula and Elizabeth Bathory is like his female counterpart. They were both nobility who acted as warlords and killed countless numbers of people in order to dine, bathe and has sex in their victims blood I'm surprised you've never heard of either person.


----------



## Jennywocky

Wellsy said:


> Is it the tone of voice, or what he says that is most appealing?


It depends. Both can be. But I'm typically not into (1) guys who say smart things but are boring to listen to and engage and (2) guys who have a good voice but nothing worthwhile or intelligent to say. The abilities to express Intelligence AND to communicate in a way that leaves me feeling good about the interaction are both positive things.

As far as voice goes, I like guy's voices. They don't have to be amazingly deep, I just like the deeper quality to them.



> What kind of women did or do you look up to if any?


Typically thoughtful, transcendent, intelligent women. Some of them are writers (Madeleine L'Engle, Ursula LeGuin, Mary Roach, Virginia Woolf, Helen Keller, Anais Nin, Dorothy Parker, Anna Quindlen), actors (like Judy Dench, Uma Thurman, Meryl Streep, Katherine Hepburn, Jada Pinkett Smith, Angela Bassett), scientists (Marie Curie, Karen Horney), some are politicians or associated with politicians (like Hillary Clinton or Eleanor Roosevelt). I'm not sure "look up to" is the right word, I think a few of these women might even be younger than me; but these are brave, bold, competent, smart and snappy women who are just rather "out there" without apology or fear, and they do not use their womanhood as an excuse or as a source of shame, they embrace themselves and the world and engage. They believe in themselves and what they are doing.



> Even at this later stage in life, do you still find there's men who seem very much the same as teenage boys in their mentality?


Ha. Yes. 



> Would you be willing to share one accident or amusing moment shared with someone in the bedroom?


Besides breaking and/or falling off the bed in the middle of sex? 



> Even though those who answer will most likely be heterosexuals, can you view a woman's body as beautiful?
> That you can view a naked woman, not a bit sexually but still appreciate how wonderful she looks.


I'm not turned on by other naked women, but I'm artistic by nature and think the female body is beautiful. I think it's more attractive artistically than most men's bodies... until I see the right guy and then wham. 



> What is it about shoes that drives you mental? If this doesn't apply to you, skip


I... don't know. Shoes rock. I think it's because they are awesome accessories, there's SUCH variety compared with other types of clothes, and they can completely change the look of an outfit. They can also more readily embody personality.

If only they didn't cost so damned much. *arg*



> Are you breasts/nipples somewhat sensitive?


It depends on the right spot.  But I generally have sensitive skin, even my forearms.



William I am said:


> Why don't girls/women call back after swapping numbers with a guy?


Depends on the context of the exchange, honestly.

Sometimes I felt pressured to swap and wasn't really interested. Or I had doubts about the guy's authenticity to start with. Or I could go either way, and I want to see if he's going to call first. Or someone else beat him to it and I wouldn't be available.

There are aspects of dating that just suck. And everyone says that they have certain ways they want to be dealt with ("just be up front!") but then they bitch when someone is up front. I'm typically going by context, in terms of my response and in how I present a "no" response. Some guys, if you engage them with a "no" response, just take that as an excuse to argue and/or don't actually accept it. There are also some guys who are slick in a conversation, so you can swap numbers, and afterwards just feel like it's not something that's going to work (for whatever reason), but the guy is slick enough that you don't want him to coerce you into something you think is imprudent overall.


----------



## Jennywocky

Ningsta Kitty said:


> I've mentioned this a couple of times on the forum. And I really don't think I'm all that different(weird) aside from the fact that I actually think about all the things I like, and why I like them.  Anyways, I'm a fan of men. I like chest hair, I am severely weirded out when they trim their toe hair or wax/trim their chest and I love their hands. I think the hands are a major turn on. I notice them and I notice myself noticing them. (well, actually, that's my weirdness. I notice myself noticing stuff then ask why) so my "theory" is that I notice hands (when the guy opens a door for me or does things with their hands like fixing something, picking up something or whatever) I think I notice it because I feel like an instinctive "safety" feeling that typically accompanies it. Also I am "smitten" for lack of a better word , when I see all the things that men "create" with their hands. This isn't an adoration that is necessarily sexual. My cousin is a graphic artist and I love to see him draw. I am taken back by past boyfriend carpentry skills. Stuff like that. It puts me in a submissive mode kinda. But not powerless by any means. I hope that makes sense and doesn't sound too too weird :/


I like hands too. I like them capable and competent, yet also kind of accessible and articulate. Strong but not hard per se; sensual but not fragile. It's kind of hard to explain in words, but they're one way into a man's soul (IMO).


----------



## Jennywocky

Monkey King said:


> How is it like being a mother?


I never knew I was capable of loving another human being so much without expecting anything in return. Even when my kids have been obnoxious and frustrating to deal with, the love and "connection" never goes away. I would never say that my kid is not my kid, they will always be my child regardless.



> Do you find it limiting? If yes, how so? If no, why not?


It can be very limiting in regards to time, when you have children. Not just for moms, it happens for dads too, it's just that culturally the West (and many other cultures) still assume primary responsibility is the mother's. A lot of your life stops when you have children, until the children are gone or at least until they become older. THere are parts of having very young kids that I enjoyed, and parts that I hated.



> To what extent in your life do you find this phrase true: " You are your mother's daughter."


It's kind of funny. My mom and I in many ways have little in common. She's an ISFJ, and she's all emotion/heart and (seriously) almost no rationality; she has been capable of driving me crazy, she cannot navigate to save her life nor really understand a rational argument, and the only books she ever reads are The Bible and simplistic religious devotional style books -- feel-good things. When we get together, she typically can only really talk about all the people she's interacted with and the little details about their health, or what they ate for lunch, or what they're doing next week; minutia, to me. Our actual personalities are very different.

But in terms of how we engage people? I'm definitely more forward than my mother in the right environments, but what I have that is my mom's is that we both are listeners, we don't talk much if at all in mixed company, neither of us like conflict and will typically keep the peace (not keeping the peace is something I had to learn to embrace, when necessary), we can both be offended by how people treat each other but typically only speak up at the appropriate moment, and we both show grace and kindness to people. It's been an education for me learning how to be more blunt, and it only happens online when ideas are being exchanged. 

So I would say that I capture the "spirit" of my mother, even if I am a very different person. 

Also, I've noticed that I have her face from the mouth down. From the mouth up, I'm more like my dad -- and in recent years, I've become more outspoken when necessary, in a way like my dad does. (He's ESTP.) In a way, I guess that is appropriate: I "speak" with lips like my mother's, but I think more like my dad.



> For those who are married or were married. If you had to pick one thing about your partner that made you say 'yes,' what was it?


My ex wanted to be with me, and I kind of pulled the INTP thing and wandered into a marriage. We also shared a religious faith at the time, although that changed over the years. I always did appreciate, though, the consistency and stability of my ex; I knew what to expect.


----------



## Rachel Something

2eng said:


> Do you pee in the shower? *(Sometimes. Lol. I don't see what the big deal is... It's all going to go down the drain, and I'm going to get clean in the shower anyway.)*
> 
> Do you pay attention to the type of car a guy drives? *(Not so much. The type of car a guy drives really isn't high on my list of priorities.)*
> 
> What do you think of men that have foot fetishes? Btw I'm not one of them, to each his own... just not my thing *(To each their own... but I personally hate feet and I'm not too fond of people touching mine.)*
> 
> If you have ever received naked texts from your SO does it turn you on or do you just delete it and move on? *(Honestly, I've never received naked texts before. I don't really care for them, to be honest. I would probably just raise my eyebrows, delete the text and move on. I'm also a bit paranoid about other people finding stuff like that on my phone.)*
> 
> Have you ever had webcam sex? *(Nope. Can't say I'm interested in doing it either. I'm paranoid about that sort of thing too...)*
> 
> This is good for now... if I think of more Ill ask.


Interesting questions. Keep 'em coming... This thread is fun.


----------



## Jennywocky

@Mr. Meepers

*1. would you rather come home after work to a clean house, or a gourmet meal ?*
Uhhh... clean house.

*2. A smiley, happy, very average looking person, or a bipolar very sexy person?*
The first. I've lived with some out-of-whack people since my separation, and I never ever want to do that again.

*3. would you reject true love because the person didn't make enough money? *
If it was really true love, then money is not an issue unless we'd be living in Dumpsters.

*or wasn't up to par(in shape) as you would like? *
It depends on how out of shape. 

*5. Has a wooden peg leg who is crazy rich?*
Date? Yes.

*6. bald person who has several very real looking wigs/toupees *
Hell, yes.

*7. an armless person who can play mozart w/ their toes*
Yes.

*8. a person w/ 20 rings on their neck, but gives phenomenal oral sex*
where do you come up with this stuff?

*9. a severe burn victim who is a Boston marathoner personal trainer person*
I don't know. And it's not about appearance per se, that kind of accident creates many many health issues (mentally and physically) in a relationship, he would undergoing a lot of physical treatment to stay healthy and alive, so there are energy and stress concerns there. But at the same time, if he's still alive, he's a survivor and probably has a beautiful spirit, so ... it's possible. I've got enough skeletons in my closet, all of us do; when you find someone you really really think is beautiful and you love them, and they love you back, then isn't that what matters.

*10. a person with tattooed sleeves and piercings EVERYWHERE, 
but the person is as intelligent as they come*

ha, I love the assumption that tattoos = unintelligent.... tattoos and piercings in themselves are no big deal, I'm just not sure about the "all over the body" part and if they'd get in the way.

*11. a person who thinks he/she was King Tut/Cleopatra in their past life, 
but fits all other criteria of "the perfect man/woman"*

SO he's batty as a bedbug, except not?

*12. a person who thinks he/she was Vlad the Impaler/Elizabeth Báthory in their past life, 
but fits all other criteria of "the perfect man/woman"*

"I want you to sleep in this IRon Maiden, but I will make your life wonderful otherwise... in this one day we have together before I torture and kill you."

Ha.


----------



## WickerDeer

- What is it like having a vagina?
*It's good. Blood comes out of it every month. I like that because it's so vibrant, and a surprise every time. And it collects in the toilet bowl. It's as if my vagina is saying--"f you, I'm gonna bleed now and there's nothing any a yous can do ta stop me." Just like that, with a new york mobster accent. It's so incredibly inappropriate. That's why I have to hide it in my underwear--one just can't unleash this kind of badassness on society.*


----------



## downsowf

Why do women go to the bathroom together and have 30 minute pow wows in there? What do they talk about? Are they talking about my ass?


----------



## WickerDeer

downsowf said:


> Why do women go to the bathroom together and have 30 minute pow wows in there? What do they talk about? Are they talking about my ass?


Eugh--this is the most awesome thing about being a woman.

This is where we congregate whenever the world becomes off-balence. We do rain dances. We fight evil demons of the spirit world to heal the sick. We go into ecstatic trances where we discover the meaning of life, only to forget it when we wake up.

Seriously, I don't even know what we talk about but it's always fun! I love this activity. It's just indescribably wonderful!


----------



## Enfpleasantly

2eng said:


> Do you pee in the shower? *Yes*
> 
> Do you pay attention to the type of car a guy drives? *Not really. It catches my attention if he is driving something nice, but that's about it. *
> 
> What do you think of men that have foot fetishes? Btw I'm not one of them, to each his own... just not my thing. *I guess it's fine, but I would be pissed if I found out a man jerked off on or in my shoe. I'd rather he be into something more "fun" about my body
> *
> If you have ever received naked texts from your SO does it turn you on or do you just delete it and move on*? It doesn't do much for me, but I'm not visual. I would rather a description with words of what he has on his mind.
> *
> Have you ever had webcam sex? *Yes*
> 
> This is good for now... if I think of more Ill ask.





downsowf said:


> Why do women go to the bathroom together and have 30 minute pow wows in there? What do they talk about? Are they talking about my ass?


I'm not sure why we go together. The older I get, the less I go with a group of girls. The only time I go with a group to the bathroom is when we want to go there to talk. When there, we are usually feeling no pain and we talk about how much we love each other. It's pretty lame, haha!

Oh and we also tend to talk about an issue...like one of the girls being unsure about a guy, or her missing her ex. I just realized that I make sure I'm never the girl with the problem...I'm always trying to boost up someone else. Strange.


----------



## chickydoda

android654 said:


> Really? Vlad Tepes is what we now know as Dracula and Elizabeth Bathory is like his female counterpart. They were both nobility who acted as warlords and killed countless numbers of people in order to dine, bathe and has sex in their victims blood I'm surprised you've never heard of either person.


Oh that's weird. Where should I have heard it from? I did Art History, and I think Dracula/vampires were mentioned during the Romantic period, but I could be wrong.

In Elementary school, History and Social Studies were pretty much merged. Most of what we learnt was about wars, or NZ/Maori history. Not much else really.

History and Social Studies were somewhat optional in high school. We learnt about origins of World War 1, The Black Civil Rights Movement and NZ Politics.

It's a shame I don't know more, I find History/Literature/Art interesting, but I don't spend that much time on them.


----------



## Monkey King

William I am said:


> Why don't girls/women call back after swapping numbers with a guy?



Some people are probably gonna go dafuq with this but I'm so dense that when I swap numbers I'm under the impression they want friendship. >_> I mean it's not like I didn't call the guy 'dude' 80 times--- nothing about me calling you dude = I'm interested. Ive recently stopped doing this because of their misunderstanding.


----------



## Jennywocky

Enfpleasantly said:


> I'm not sure why we go together. The older I get, the less I go with a group of girls. The only time I go with a group to the bathroom is when we want to go there to talk. When there, we are usually feeling no pain and we talk about how much we love each other. It's pretty lame, haha!
> 
> Oh and we also tend to talk about an issue...like one of the girls being unsure about a guy, or her missing her ex. I just realized that I make sure I'm never the girl with the problem...I'm always trying to boost up someone else. Strange.


ha ha!

Yeah, I mean, it's just kind of fun to go together. And we just talk about shit. We hang out in there, it's a private spot... aside from other women walking in and out, but hey they're welcome to join in too. And it happens even at work, when I run into other women because we've happened to go at the same time without planning in advance; we'll sometimes hang out and talk. It's not even just at the sinks; if girls walk into together talking, it's not uncommon to keep talking even while they're in separate stalls.

It's especially good if we're with guys, and someone wants to get an assessment of what we all think about a particular guy, or what he might be thinking about the girl; or even if it's just an opinion about guys who don't happen to be around. And sometimes too we'll note that someone's makeup got smudged, etc., and let them know so they won't walk around like that all day. But it's really crazy. Just fun, though... kind of like confidantes. <-- that's the biggie, I think.

Because I've got that detached intellectualism thing going, sometimes I'll be laughing inside at the inane, superfluous, or relational stuff that comes up in the bathroom.


----------



## Monkey King

Enfpleasantly said:


> What's the first thing that comes to mind when you read these words? I asked the men the same thing and I'm curious to see if there's a difference.
> 
> 
> Willow--- that one movie called Willow.
> 
> 
> Titillating---- experience
> 
> 
> Sack--- just a bag
> 
> 
> Lips--- lipstick
> 
> 
> Hard--- mind in gutter


in quote


----------



## android654

chickydoda said:


> Oh that's weird. Where should I have heard it from? I did Art History, and I think Dracula/vampires were mentioned during the Romantic period, but I could be wrong.
> 
> In Elementary school, History and Social Studies were pretty much merged. Most of what we learnt was about wars, or NZ/Maori history. Not much else really.
> 
> History and Social Studies were somewhat optional in high school. We learnt about origins of World War 1, The Black Civil Rights Movement and NZ Politics.
> 
> It's a shame I don't know more, I find History/Literature/Art interesting, but I don't spend that much time on them.


I doubt most history classes would've covered it, but if you ever studied Gothic literature you would have come across Bram Stoker at one point or another. The entire template of Count Dracula was built off of Vlad. You also would have come across his name in Eastern European history where he's regarded as a folk hero in his success in keeping the Ottoman Empire out of out of countries like Romania and Bulgaria.


----------



## Monkey King

2eng said:


> Do you pee in the shower?
> 
> *Nope.*
> 
> Do you pay attention to the type of car a guy drives?
> 
> *I notice anyone who drive the cars I want. *
> 
> What do you think of men that have foot fetishes? Btw I'm not one of them, to each his own... just not my thing
> 
> *HILARIOUS! BFF made me look at some foot fetish porn (she wanted to scar me as her BF scarred her with the visual)--- that stuff was funny as hell.
> *
> If you have ever received naked texts from your SO does it turn you on or do you just delete it and move on?
> 
> *Delete.*
> 
> Have you ever had webcam sex?
> 
> *Nope. lol.*
> 
> This is good for now... if I think of more Ill ask.


in quote


----------



## Monkey King

downsowf said:


> Why do women go to the bathroom together and have 30 minute pow wows in there? What do they talk about? Are they talking about my ass?



I avoid this. But back in college when we club hopped we never really leave each other alone. There is usually a line in the bathroom and usually have 3-4 stalls. The line could be a 10 minute wait especially if someone's shitfaced drunk. Now if you have 4 chicks together the wait time increases. Also, if the bathroom is seat is sprayed with urine from other chicks--- one must find creative ways of pissing without touching the seat. Balancing on heels while on a squat position requires patience.


----------



## Wellsy

Does it resonate with youre experience that women do not like to go backwards in lifestyle and that man don't like to go backwards sexually? So you've experienced something better than before, its now your norm and you don't want to lose it.

Do bras bother you? Is shopping for them a bother?

Words of my Nan went something along the lines that a man who doesn't cook, clean or do housework is single or soon to be? Would you agree with this statement?

Do you enjoy a dick with a bit more than average girth more so than length?

Do you catch younger men still checking you out?

Would you agree it's a basic desire of all people to be wanted? The knowing or feeling that your partner or someone wants you, they want to taste, caress, laugh, live with you.


----------



## 2eng

@_Monkey King_ I'm not even sure I knew they had a porn dedicated to that haha. I should have assumed though, I think you could find porn for just about every type of fetish.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Wellsy said:


> Does it resonate with youre experience that women do not like to go backwards in lifestyle and that man don't like to go backwards sexually? So you've experienced something better than before, its now your norm and you don't want to lose it. *Hmm, I would say both of these apply to me. I don't like going backwards in anything. *
> 
> Do bras bother you? Is shopping for them a bother? *I think one of the greatest feelings is removing a bra at the end of the day. Shopping for them is a bother until I find a specific brand or style I love; then I mostly stick to it until I feel like trying something new.
> *
> Words of my Nan went something along the lines that a man who doesn't cook, clean or do housework is single or soon to be? Would you agree with this statement?* I take on most of these responsibilities because I'm a stay at home Mom, but he helps me anyway. I don't think I could tolerate a man who didn't help at all.
> *
> Do you enjoy a dick with a bit more than average girth more so than length? *I don't have enough experience to compare*.
> 
> Do you catch younger men still checking you out? *Yes.*
> 
> Would you agree it's a basic desire of all people to be wanted? The knowing or feeling that your partner or someone wants you, they want to taste, caress, laugh, live with you.


*
I don't know about all people, but it is for me. I can't get enough of being wanted by my Mr. 
*


----------



## WickerDeer

Does it resonate with youre experience that women do not like to go backwards in lifestyle and that man don't like to go backwards sexually? So you've experienced something better than before, its now your norm and you don't want to lose it.
*I think that everyone goes through a process of figuring out what they want, achieving it, and revising that desire. I don't think there is a big difference with lifestyle/sexualstyle and men/women. *

Do bras bother you? Is shopping for them a bother?

*Shopping for bras is a bother. It's just--women's breasts are different shapes. Most bras space the cups too far apart, and I just wish they had more support. What's with the thin straps? Is it REALLY the best design? Eugh--I hate bra shopping. *

Words of my Nan went something along the lines that a man who doesn't cook, clean or do housework is single or soon to be? Would you agree with this statement?
*
I think that sometimes couples explicitly agree on delegating responsibilities. But it shouldn't be a given that one partner is responsible for certain chores.*

Do you enjoy a dick with a bit more than average girth more so than length?

*Ahem--skipping this.*

Do you catch younger men still checking you out?

*Yeah--wait, what? *

Would you agree it's a basic desire of all people to be wanted? The knowing or feeling that your partner or someone wants you, they want to taste, caress, laugh, live with you.

*I would agree that a lot of people do desire this. But there are some people who desire other things above this. Be careful who you give your heart to.* * I think for me, one basic desire is to be accepted, which maybe is the step before wanted.*


----------



## SirDave

Snakecharmer said:


> We need this, right?
> 
> 
> :laughing:
> 
> I'll put myself out there and say that not only am I a woman, but an "older" one...not sure about _wiser_, but experienced, sure.
> 
> Ask away!


As an "elder" myself (I'm 71) what is a safe way (without connotation of seeming to excuse age) to tell an equally old woman that she is still beautiful, and say it without seeming to be pandering to age which is so obvious with all its physical manifestations?


----------



## Snakecharmer

SirDave said:


> As an "elder" myself (I'm 71) what is a safe way (without connotation of seeming to excuse age) to tell an equally old woman that she is still beautiful, and say it without seeming to be pandering to age which is so obvious with all its physical manifestations?


Just tell her she's beautiful...no other explanation or clarification is needed.


----------



## Monkey King

2eng said:


> @_Monkey King_ I'm not even sure I knew they had a porn dedicated to that haha. I should have assumed though, I think you could find porn for just about every type of fetish.


Yep. I was a freshman in highschool at the time--- it was a footjob while the guy was driving. That petrified my young self. lol that's not the weirdest Ive stumbled upon. Senior year highschool I was kickin it with my gamer friend, went through his external looking for his personal statement example for college. Saw a folder called 'sample.' clicked on it and it was anime anthromorph soft porn. I remember going dafuq????? That's a secret Ive kept and a visual I wish I've never seen. To this day he doesn't know I know.


----------



## Monkey King

Wellsy said:


> Does it resonate with youre experience that women do not like to go backwards in lifestyle and that man don't like to go backwards sexually? So you've experienced something better than before, its now your norm and you don't want to lose it.
> 
> *Maybe I'm not understanding your question but who wants to go backwards unless they're running from something?
> *
> Do bras bother you? Is shopping for them a bother?
> 
> *Yes. I just don't understand the price on them. It's like really, 80 for this much fabric??!!?? oh btw depending on cut/brand/material I'm all different sizes which makes shopping harder because I'm trying on a bunch of the same styles in 3 sizes. The thing is it wouldn't be so bad if bras last more than 6-9 months. I mean the sexy smexy bras usually chill in the drawer unless occasion calls for it but the daily bras need to be replaced 6-9 months. And Yeh,Yeh most women don't replace their bras every 6-9 months (9-12 for me) but my boobs are beasting and usually have to. *
> 
> Words of my Nan went something along the lines that a man who doesn't cook, clean or do housework is single or soon to be? Would you agree with this statement?
> 
> *Well, I would assume the man feels like he's above those things and well I'm not interested in a man-son arrangement*.
> 
> Do you catch younger men still checking you out?
> 
> *Well 19-21 year olds say wassup while I facepalm. Theres nothing wrong with the age group, but their approach is often elementary. *
> 
> Would you agree it's a basic desire of all people to be wanted? The knowing or feeling that your partner or someone wants you, they want to taste, caress, laugh, live with you.
> 
> *Sure. I think in some way shape or form everyone is trying to find that person that is willing to understand your being and whom you can allow to understand you.*



in quote


----------



## donkeybals

downsowf said:


> Why do women go to the bathroom together and have 30 minute pow wows in there? What do they talk about? Are they talking about my ass?





meltedsorbet said:


> Eugh--this is the most awesome thing about being a woman.
> 
> *This is where we congregate whenever the world becomes off-balence. We do rain dances. We fight evil demons of the spirit world to heal the sick. We go into ecstatic trances where we discover the meaning of life, only to forget it when we wake up.*
> 
> Seriously, I don't even know what we talk about but it's always fun! I love this activity. It's just indescribably wonderful!


I so friggin' knew it!


----------



## 7rr7s

This thread is awesome. I'm really learning alot here. XD However, one thing I'm baffled by is this,



Monkey King said:


> Also, if the bathroom is seat is sprayed with urine from other chicks--- one must find creative ways of pissing without touching the seat. Balancing on heels while on a squat position requires patience.


I thought this was just a male problem. I don't get how urine gets on the seat if you are sitting down, but I guess these things happen. Also, not that I go into women's rooms alot, but from what I've seen, they always look alot nicer then the men's rooms, which can get pretty raw at times. Are they always super nice?

More questions:

1. What did you want to be when you were a little girl?

2. For mothers and women who have been married: When did you realize you wanted kids/marriage?

3. Why do you like to dance so much after a long week?

4. You always seem so positive and supportive of one another. "Oh you look so good. I love that dress on you. You're not fat. ect." Guys are not like this. We joke with each other and try to challenge each other. "I bet you can't XYZ. Quit being a pussy. I can XYZ better than you can. ect." Is there any such equivalent with women? Do you guys try to one up each other too?

5. What do you like about romance novels/movies?


----------



## West Nile Virus

So i like this girl and every time i tease her she would always hit me really hard, which is fine by me XD. Of course I'm not going to hit her back, but let's say you do the same to a guy. How would want his reaction be? Would you want him to tickle you? grab you and lift you up? Any suggestions would be nice


----------



## perfectcircle

Mr. Meepers said:


> I have some questions ... You don't have to answer them all
> 
> - Have you ever had a multiple orgasm? What is that like?
> Uh I think I have had more than one orgasm in like an hour window. It was just kinda like.. more than one orgasm lol. My orgasms aren't very strong especially with a partner and I actually don't always like them cause then my pleasure, interest, & desire goes down afterwards a bit. I think i am unusual in this way tho. they just don't do all that much for me? except relax me which is nice.
> 
> - Do you like make-up? Or is it too much of a hassle? ... Was your first time putting on make-up messy (Ahhh, Lipstick went up my nose )?
> 
> I like make up. I also dislike the idea of "having" to wear it. It wasn't messy, it's kind of hard to be inept as to get make up all over your face, lipstick goes on lips, concealer on the skin, everything else on the eyes. Applying eyeliner can be messy until you get the hang of it. I think a lot of girls take time figuring out what color and amounts and areas to apply are most flattering tho.
> 
> - Have you been sexually harassed? Does it happen often? How does it make you feel?
> Um, I don't think so. I've been hit on but I don't really mind it as long as I don't feel threatened. The one time I felt really mad was when in a debate tournament, a judge told me guys could get away with being agressive but girls couldn't and i looked bitchy so i needed to tone it down and be more affable & I ignored her cause I was winning so eff that.
> 
> - Have you ever faced a "glass ceiling"? Or personally experienced social and economical discrimination due to your sex?
> I'm only 18 so not economic, but socially I do often feel men can be more aggressive and make more pointed humors or comments that would be considered "ohh he's stirring the pot" wheras if I did it'd be "what a bitch!" I also feel pressured to be beautiful. i also expereicne a lot of ppl judigning other women's sex lives but not guys and that is really hard.
> 
> - To steal a question from Ningsta Kitty, Do women have a consensus on a favorite sexual position?
> I prefer face to face guy on top generally but i like others too. sensitivity changes for some reason.
> 
> - What is it like having a vagina?
> I've always liked it. They are pretty cool. I just think they smell & look cool. And just the idea of them is cool. But penises are also cool. All genitalia is cool.
> 
> - What is something (somethings) you wish more men new?
> if you are playing with a girls clit make shapes and stuff, like the alphabet and be gentle but rub all over it, not just like repetitive friction. its like scratching someone's back they want it all over, not in one spot, cause it's really sensitive. pressure should be well dispersed, like the flat of your tongue, not like the tip "flicking". it hurts. also going at it for too long doesn't really do anything for the girl, we start to lose interest. vaginal sensitivity decreases the longer you're at it. more foreplay and less hammering unless you guys are really into it.
> 
> - Do you know women are awesome? ^__^ *giggle, blush*
> some of us do!


answers in quote


----------



## perfectcircle

1. would you rather come home after work to a clean house, or a gourmet meal ?
Gourmet meal as long as the general eating area was clean for mood setting  we can clean it together.

2. A smiley, happy, very average looking person, or a bipolar very sexy person?
Idk, that's too black and white. Some very happy people I don't really get along, we don't click & make eachother happy, even though I respect they are pleasant people. The degree of bipolar is important, would they damage my life or be a bit of an emotional storm, which I can handle fairly well? So I think third factors, like how well we click, is more important.

3. would you reject true love because the person didn't make enough money? 
No, I'd be willing to support a man if I loved him.

or wasn't up to par(in shape) as you would like? 
Depends if it was still cute. If not, probably not, I wouldn't fall in love with him in the first place.

5. Has a wooden peg leg who is crazy rich?
I wouldn't rule someone out on the peg leg. I think.

6. bald person who has several very real looking wigs/toupees 
why is this bothering me. I think the wigs/toupess are the bothersome part. just go bald dude, it's your reality, face it. it shows an insecure person. so maybe not.

7. an armless person who can play mozart w/ their toes
sorry i just don't think i could do the no arms

8. a person w/ 20 rings on their neck, but gives phenomenal oral sex
no not worth it

9. a severe burn victim who is a Boston marathoner personal trainer person
You know I wouldn't rule it out but I am not sure if I could.

10. a person with tattooed sleeves and piercings EVERYWHERE, 
but the person is as intelligent as they come

Depends if I think they are attractive tattoos & piercings & what kind of lifestyle. They could be super intelligent, but maybe we just don't have the same interests? with an appearance like that, they couldn't work a lot of jobs, so idk. But assuming they were perfect in every other way, sure.

11. a person who thinks he/she was King Tut/Cleopatra in their past life, 
No sorry that's weird



12. a person who thinks he/she was Vlad the Impaler/Elizabeth Báthory in their past life, 
but fits all other criteria of "the perfect man/woman"

No


----------



## perfectcircle

Is it the tone of voice, or what he says that is most appealing?
Idk because diff voices display different personality traits.

What kind of women did or do you look up to if any?
I look up to sincere, strong women who've made the kind of life for themselves they want without compromising themselves. I admire women who are clear in their beliefs & communicate themselves well. I admire women who've faced challenges but come through them, & those who help others. I admire women with a sense of humor & sense of self. I admire Amy Poehler a lot, and Sasha Grey, and Angelina Jolie, and mother Teresa, and a lot of authors, actresses. I admire women who think but like rise about that too. It's hard to explain what about them is appealing. Ok, it slike this, they've thought things through and face certain challenges, maybe how others percieve them, and they go on and put themself out there anyways and never waver. They've accepted their challenges.

Even at this later stage in life, do you still find there's men who seem very much the same as teenage boys in their mentality?
I'm only 18

Would you be willing to share one accident or amusing moment shared with someone in the bedroom?
um, some things are like awkwardly funny in retrospect
when i was trying to lose my virginity he couldn't get it and he tried SO long & then we gave up & drove home & it was like oddly humiliating somehow, like, "My vagina doesn't work... it's impenetrable..." Like I wanted to apologize somehow. He handleed it really well & didn't like make it a thing at all tho, even though if I was him it would have hurt my pride. Take II was successful thank god.

Even though those who answer will most likely be heterosexuals, can you view a woman's body as beautiful?
Yes of course I can though in general it doesn't give me the same feelings as a beautiful naked man. But I relate to women's bodies so they are very personal to me and of course beautiful, just not as sexual.

What is it about shoes that drives you mental? If this doesn't apply to you, skip 
Well good shoes make you look sexy & powerful which is attractive.

Are you breasts/nipples somewhat sensitive?
yes. sometimes they are more sensitive than my vagina in sex.


----------



## perfectcircle

What is the first thing you notice about a guy?
This will be a cop out answer but "his vibe". I think that could be broken down into
1. Attractiveness-- looks, attitude, life-style, posture, style, how he fits my world outlook
2. Comfortable Factor-- is he someone I could relate to, or does he seem to think he's better than me, how accepting or easy going does he seem, do we have stuff in common
3. Posture & demeanor & conversational choices- how does he choose to think about himself & the world around him (aka does he have unrealistic ideas about reality, or let himself be a victim? is he very insecure?= not interested)

Is foreplay not as good when it's predictable?
I split sex into two categories, "cheap motel" and "nice hotel". Cheap hotel is getting down and dirty and hard and fast and then yeah being too predictable might be a turn off, but I think the bigger issue is momentum. In cheap hotel mode if things get slacking, if he takes 20 minutes to get there, the condom can't get on, somehow the desire volume seems low during foreplay & not very frenetic, you lose interest. So cheap hotel is more about the "event of sex" & it has to be exciting. In "nice hotel", you want to make love & then slow love making with focused attention is important, and keeping it simple and even predictable is nice because it allows you to focus on your partner in a more tender way. Overall though, I think most sex is just "re-inventing the classic", it's always the same good thing but it feels different due to little variations each time.

How common is it that men are terrible at foreplay?
I haven't been with many men. Not terrible & but not stellar.

What was the best date you ever went on?
Oh I don't know, a lot of dates. The ones that were once we were really comfortable with eachother were much better than getting to know you dates, but those were more important in a different way, tho somewhat awkward. For some reason I don't want to share.

What was the most romantic thing someone has done for you?
Also don't want to share.

How long on average does it take you to pick out a card for your SO?
never had to do that.

What do you think is the most common fantasy for women?
Um probably someone being dominant with them. I think a lot of women want that but it's a hard thing to get because you also have to navigate finding safety & someone you trust too.

Was there anything a SO wanted you to do sexually that you absolutely refused to do?
No. There are things i WOULD refuse but they've never been asked of me.

Was there anything you wanted to do that your SO refused?
Hahaha yes but the conversation was very roundabout so also kind of no, but if i were to read subtext, yes.

Do women know when guys check them out?
yes

Do women know/care when their SO checks out other women?
we know and it depends on the caring part. the only time it's ever upset me is when it was a close friend of mine (or if it was my sister), for some reason that was very distressing & frightening to me, but if it's a stranger or a girl on TV or even someone from his life who I'm not close with, i'm just kind of amused & not at all worried cause he's with me. May be frightening with a friend because if anything happened I'd be twice betrayed as opposed to once, or because even the closest of girlfriends have unspoken rivalries with eachother? I think friends & sisters have a lot of similar qualtiies to me so I guess I lose my sense of competitive advantage.


----------



## perfectcircle

1) Does sex hurt sometimes or only for the first time and then it becomes a harmless pleasure ?
For me sex only hurts slightly when I start losing arousal & am no longer wet. It didn't hurt the first time for me at all. I wouldn't call it a harmless pleasure though, that makes it seem like picking a booger or something.

2) Why do you think you appear or you really are more emotional.
I may appear more emotional because I've been raised in a society that didn't teach me to censor that part of myself. I am not chastised or made to feel weak for crying. I also may be more emotional than some people because my family going back 3 generations on both sides of my family has various emotional disorders & I identify as an infp type four, so while I don't believe i have more emotions than other people besides people with emotional disorders who do not experience emotions, I may give my emotions more credence & use them to guide my life more than a thinker. more woman are feelers than men are, so this may explain that gender perception, but I am not sure if the F-T distribution is affected by society's views on the ideal man and woman. All in all this a issue that is not straightfoward.

3) Have you ever feared that men will do sexual harrasment to you?
No, although one time in my childhood I was in danger but was not aware of it before my father rescued me.


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## perfectcircle

What do you think the best parts of being a woman are?

-People are probably nicer to me.
-Being able to accessorize & experiment with my face and clothes in a way men can't.
-Menstruation. Unlike many women, I have always enjoyed & experienced pride for it.
-It is more generally permissible for me to express my emotions, weaknesses, and seek close, emotional bonds with others
-Having boobs
-Feeling desired & the sensation of being pursued as though you were rare
-Not having to 'talk myself up' which seems to be a common male thing in my culture & it really annoys me.
-Being treated gently & protected by the men in your life
-I am fairly certain people are more lenient with me for losing things, turning in things late, and expressing stress or scatter-brain-ness which isn't fair but it is an advantage
-In general it is more accepted for me to hug, cuddle, and say I Love you to my friends
-I feel women tend to be more flexible in their understandings & empathetic in general which is a quality I like in myself, but I could be projecting gender stereotypes onto women.
-I can have kids


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## perfectcircle

Do you think that the use of make-up and high heels are disingenuous and misleading or just another way to attract men? @MegaTuxRacer

Um this is a really good question.
I think this is complicated, because I've met men who don't care for these things & find them obstacles to a 'real women', or if used in the proper amount, enhance some spice & style to a guy. The fact of it is, it does make women look better, but I don't know if it is "disingenuous", because I feel on some level, women in societies all around the globe for centuries have "decorated themselves" to show desirability. we are the peacocks of the human race. The line between inventing attributes of health and enhancing attributes is kind of hard to tell as well. Is wearing high heels inventing a look of hips & a swaying walk to trick the man into believing she will be good at bearing children, or does it just draw attention to hips that were already there? However, I don't feel it is ingenuous because often it seems men EXPECT women to wear make up or high heels. I personally do not set about getting dressed up feeling, "I will trick people into thinking I am beautiful & men will falsely want me!", but instead, "This is a societal norm & if I don't men will tihnk girls who wear more make up are more beautiful than me." Often men can't tell when a girl is wearing make up or not, so to them make up is the norm, and without it she becomes ugly. So as woman that is basically trying to complete, I feel sometimes make up and artifice is something this culture has embraced and men too, so I personally don't feel I am tricking them, but merely trying to get by. I don't think it's mens fault, the TV shows that show a woman waking up fully made up contribute to this myth of female beauty that isn't achievable. Anyways, so when I wear make up, sometimes I feel I am lying to MYSELF or being forced to adapt in a way to society that I don't want to, and in that sense it is disingenuous, but I don't think I am doing it to snag a man but almost just to make it into the race because it is the norm. It seems necessary to get a job, for example, to be made up, or else you are not perceived as "professional", or show up to an interview or class that way or else you may look "lazy". So I would say make up can be both a way to attract men & fit into society, as well as make oneself mroe beautiful which has all kinds of advantages (which once again ties into what society values), and it can at once be disingenuous & misleading and also innocent. I think the disingenuous part comes into play when we can't recognize while it does look nice, it isn't real & it becomes an expectation as opposed to merely dressing up. When we do that, we are pretending how made up a woman is her actual face or a determinate of her character, as though she never takes it off, and that I find disingenuous.
I am sorry if this did not answer your question.


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## Enfpleasantly

In the quote...


KindOfBlue06 said:


> More questions:
> 
> 1. What did you want to be when you were a little girl? *A singer/ popstar like Madonna specifically, a children's book author and illustrator.*
> 
> 2. For mothers and women who have been married: When did you realize you wanted kids/marriage?* I've always known. When I was growing up, I used to make lists of goals I wanted to reach and by what age. I surprisingly did exactly what I wanted. I forgot about beyond kids though...I never really thought about what I'd want to do after I was done having them, so I've had to wing it, which has helped me become more in tune with my true self. I feel so *me*...more than I ever have, and it feels very liberating!
> *
> 3. Why do you like to dance so much after a long week? *I aways love to dance*.
> 
> 4. You always seem so positive and supportive of one another. "Oh you look so good. I love that dress on you. You're not fat. ect." Guys are not like this. We joke with each other and try to challenge each other. "I bet you can't XYZ. Quit being a pussy. I can XYZ better than you can. ect." Is there any such equivalent with women? Do you guys try to one up each other too? *I've heard women use phrases like "you bitch!", "you slut!" (in a girlfriend kind of way), but that's really not my style. Women one up each other? Yes! I think cattiness is what women typically do to try and one up another. Believe it or not, I don't play that game either because to me, it just shows your insecurity and weakness. I prefer to use confidence...I show confidence in myself by not being threatened by them in the least. *
> 
> 5. What do you like about romance novels/movies?* I'm not into them. I like romance movies like The Vow and The Notebook, although I do love Secretary...that movie is hot. I'm not a 50 Shades of Grey kind of girl though; I prefer reality with sexy ideas and images in my head. I do enjoy books that have a sexiness to them, just not all in your face. If the book uses words like clitoris during one of the steamy scenes, then it's a total turn off for me. I can't take stuff like that seriously..."she then stroked his glistening member"... no, just no *


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## perfectcircle

KindOfBlue06 said:


> More questions:
> 
> 1. What did you want to be when you were a little girl?
> For one weird year in first grade, I wanted to be a dentist, I think because they were really nice, gave me lots of free toothbrushes & toys, and my school would have presentations on dental hygiene so I'd get really into it, and I was told they were paid a lot. But by second grade, I wanted to be an author, and I think I wanted that till 5th grade.
> 
> 
> 2. For mothers and women who have been married: When did you realize you wanted kids/marriage?
> n/a
> 
> 3. Why do you like to dance so much after a long week?
> the end of my long weeks involve getting home shutting the door making coffee going "ahhhh. so alone. so quiet" & either reading a book, watching a comedy, or self care like painting nails/writing. so. idk.
> 
> 4. You always seem so positive and supportive of one another. "Oh you look so good. I love that dress on you. You're not fat. ect."
> 
> I think that's kind of a thing that depends on what group you travel in & your personal relationship. I've known some girls, like two intj best friends, or this one estj girl I knew, or my enfp friend to some degree, that would play "one upping games" where we'd be like "you bitch" "well no one likes you" kinda back and forth, but once we got close it would seem like that kind of relating got old or we'd tire of it quickly & want to be kind. I don't know why it's different in men & women. I tease my friends too but not in the way some men do to their friends. In my honest opinion, constant teasing in male friendships is to form intimacy when society makes them feel shy about showing tender kindness or love towards one another, so they develop another way to show friendship. It has an element of distancing to it. At the same time, girls are trained in society to be "nice" so a lot of time that combative edge to humor is ironed out of girls as "mean". Girls are really supportive of eachother, that's true, but if you knew a lot of girls groups closer you'd know there is a lot of cross-talking (everyone vents frustrations about girl A to girl B and then about girl B to girl A), underlying tensions, and covert competition, saying mean things in an undercut way, like, "Don't worry, I felt that way before I lost weight too", kind of things to say or hurting eachother through exclusion. Healthy girl groups aren't manipulative and sabotaging like that, but some of the more immature ones are. Even the healthiest, like my group of girlfriends, blows off steam by talking to eachother. However, we all know it happens, and we accept that, it is a coping mechanism that allows us to treat eachother kindly & get perspective.
> 
> 5. What do you like about romance novels/movies?
> I don't like most of them. I really hate romance movies/novels that seem like pure wish fufillment in place of reality or morals, like, idk, "the pure virignal girl who meets a dashing man who corners her into hot sex which she ends up loving" bodice rippers my mom loves, or romantic movies that are based on stealing someone from another girl or just really shallow & based on "love at first sight" or calling it love that's really based on appearances that overcomes all obstacles. I like some romantic moves that have other parts to them as well, that feel really "real". I think the cheesiest movie i like is Pride & prejudice or Yes Man. I guess the reason they are nice is they show positive aspects of human nature, you feel tender towards the characters, they feel empowering somehow, and it when it's realistic but kind it is kind of a stress reliever & maybe you put yourself in their shoes.


quotequote yay


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## Sina

Love this thread! :kitteh: I'll be back to browse and answer questions and ask some! Thanks @Snakecharmer, we did need a thread for the ladies.


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## perfectcircle

Does it resonate with youre experience that women do not like to go backwards in lifestyle and that man don't like to go backwards sexually?
I don't think this is gender based. The wording is poor. No one wants to go "backwards", but people may do so out of fear & unhealth, but I don't think they enjoy it. However, there is a value to finding things that work & are of value & sticking with them. I like trying new things sexual but I also think the basics are important. I think that's true in life as well. There is no point to escalating higher and higher sensations for shock value to the point the most meaningful, basic staples are no longer able to be enjoyed by you.

Do bras bother you? Is shopping for them a bother?
Shopping for bras can be a bother because you see all these cute ones & then they don't fucking fit and it's just a real pain.
But bras don't bother me. I know a lot of women who don't sleep in them because they find them uncomfortable, but my boobs aren't small & they are unusually sensitive, so I wear mine to bed. They don't bother me, they provide comfort for day to day stuff, it hurts to go without one.

Words of my Nan went something along the lines that a man who doesn't cook, clean or do housework is single or soon to be? Would you agree with this statement?
I think both parties need to feel the other person contributes, & what roles the couple assigns for themselves really depend.

Do you enjoy a dick with a bit more than average girth more so than length? 
Same as enfpleasantly, I don't have enough experience to compare. 

Do you catch younger men still checking you out?
I'm only 18 so this doesn't' really apply to me in the way I think you were asking, but yes, younger guys do check me out, I think they check everyone out.

Would you agree it's a basic desire of all people to be wanted? The knowing or feeling that your partner or someone wants you, they want to taste, caress, laugh, live with you

Yes, I think all people want to be wanted, although to varying degrees. It is a basic desire for me, yes.


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## perfectcircle

Do you pee in the shower? Yes

Do you pay attention to the type of car a guy drives?
No, except I immediately assume guys with big or cheesily decked out cars are tools or d-bags, who are probably compensating for not being very attractive.

What do you think of men that have foot fetishes?
I wouldn't judge but I don't really relate or "get it". 

If you have ever received naked texts from your SO does it turn you on or do you just delete it and move on?
I would like it. I don't think it would turn me on the way it would turn a man on; like i could send my SO a pic of my tits & he'd be so excited & get a hard on, and I don't think I'm that effected; but I would like it, it would kinda feel like flirtation & I think he's sexy so it's nice to look at, & if he's aroused that's like a compliment to me. So I wouldn't delete it.

Have you ever had webcam sex?
yes


Why do women go to the bathroom together and have 30 minute pow wows in there? What do they talk about? Are they talking about my ass?
Sometimes we go to gossip but more often than not I think girls go together, if they are in a new place, because it helps with a feeling of insecurity. I think girls learn pretty early going places alone can be risky.


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## perfectcircle

@wiraimus
"What about hands/fingers? I still remember a girl telling me she loved my hands and fingers. I thought it hinted at a sexual reference amd probably was the wierdest compliment ive ever recieved. Can anyone explain that?"

It's not intended to be sexual, lots of girls think that, I think it has a kind of aesthetic & instinctive appeal. Male hands are bigger than female hands & that is somehow attractive, it makes him seem really masculine. I personally like longer, well sculpted fingers that look more 'artistic' but some people like wider, more blunt fingers that look more "handy".


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## perfectcircle

What was your favorite penis from past relationships (description, length, girth, etc)? 

idk for some reason this feels like a betrayal of trust so i'll keep mum on this kind of thing

What is your confidence level that you accurately guessed the correct measurements lol?
Um I would say take .5 off whatever he says

When you dress up, are you attempting to impress men or deter women from judging you? 
I'm trying to impress _everyone_ & make me feel in control of myself.

Do you spend more time checking guys out or judging other women?
I don't judge other women, I assess competition, & there's a difference. The two go hand in hand.

A what part of your menstrual cycle are you most horny? 
Right before it and during.

How many times a week do you have and wish to have sex? 
Pretty much every day for me so it's too much to count.

On a scale 1-10, 1 being hideous and 10 being gorgeous, rate the male genitalia.
Gorgeous inst' the right word. Maybe like, sublime, when you have one that looks really good? I'd say 9 when looking 10 when interacting with it. An ugly one is like a 0 tho.

Same as above, but rate the female genitalia.
I like HAVING one but I'm really neutral to them sexually, like the idea of playing with another girl's vagina grosses me out a lot. So I'd say 3.

Do you have any stories of sexism in the workplace or in a relationship that you would like to share? 
Nothing very extreme or worth sharing, no.

Would you sacrifice the life of your child to save true love or vice versa?
I can only imagine I'd save the child over the man, but since I have no child, I can't say. I feel as if i sacrificed the child the man wouldn't love me anymore anyways so it'd be a moot point.

What is your immediate thought when you hear a crying child? A crying man? A crying woman? 
Comfort & love crying children
Crying adults my reaction depends a lot on how sympathetic I find them & how close we are. Sometimes it makes me uncomfortable, other times I want to comfort them, sometimes give them space but i feel bad.


Are you more emotional than the average man? Average female?
Um I'd say more so than the average person or maybe on par with the average female.

Name one manly characteristic about you and one feminine quality of your SO or past lover.

I'd like to argue & disagree with him & tease him a lot more than he teased me. He was also really unassertive sometimes and impractical. For example I needed a to go box once & he waited in a huge line of people for 25 mins. i didn't want to intervene for fear of embarrassing him but after awhile i couldn't take it, walked to the front of line, asked for a box, got it, went up to him and said, "hey we're ready to go!"
Feminine quality of past lover, a couple times I saw him cry and I'd hold him & comfort him & I really liked that, he was very vulnerable it made me love him very much, I think that is one of my most precious memories in the world.


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## perfectcircle

Ok, I think I should stop for fear of irritating ppl with my spam xD  thanks for humoring me


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## petite libellule

Wellsy said:


> Does it resonate with you're experience that women do not like to go backwards in lifestyle and that man don't like to go backwards sexually? So you've experienced something better than before, its now your norm and you don't want to lose it. I must admit I didn't really understand the question :blushed:
> 
> Do bras bother you? Is shopping for them a bother? Yes/No(It feels better w/ none, but some are really cute so yes and no) and Yes
> 
> Words of my Nan went something along the lines that a man who doesn't cook, clean or do housework is single or soon to be? Would you agree with this statement? No. Not at all. But of course, I was raised different. I always heard things like, "don't cry your husband's an alcoholic if you met him in a bar". OR "no man wants a woman poked more than a pin cushion". OR "look to see how his father treated his mother, as that is the best depiction as to how he might treat you". I was raised in a pretty traditional home. So I was raised to pay more attn to his capacity to provide & protect his home rather than to have a man pet.
> 
> Do you enjoy a dick with a bit more than average girth more so than length?
> yes. I would prefer to having orgasms, not to have my diaphragm poked
> 
> Do you catch younger men still checking you out? yes. sometimes it makes me feel good. sometimes it's annoying.
> 
> Would you agree it's a basic desire of all people to be wanted? The knowing or feeling that your partner or someone wants you, they want to taste, caress, laugh, live with you.


 I think that it's basic nature to be want to be loved and respected and, understood. Maybe that is the most craved feeling? to be understood, loved, adored, cherished. All that huggy face kissy bear jazz :tongue:


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## petite libellule

KindOfBlue06 said:


> I thought this was just a male problem. I don't get how urine gets on the seat if you are sitting down, but I guess these things happen. Also, not that I go into women's rooms a lot, but from what I've seen, they always look a lot nicer then the men's rooms, which can get pretty raw at times. Are they always super nice? Depending on the place of course. but if you are in a place with piddle on the seat, it's usually a bar or somewhere with a lot of people. And so women do this hover thing. If you're really drunk and won't be good for a froggy squat to pee, you just sit on your hands but the goal of the game is to NOT catch koodies. Pretty much  I myself hover or tp over the seat. I then use my shoe to flush. Always. Or in the case of the buttons they have for a flusher, I just bop it w/ the heel of my foot. TMI? LOL!:tongue:
> 
> More questions:
> 
> 1. What did you want to be when you were a little girl? A veterinarian and a writer. I wanted to join the peace core as soon as I knew what that was. and then in high school I wanted to major in zoology.
> 
> 2. For mothers and women who have been married: When did you realize you wanted kids/marriage? I realized I wanted kids super young, before puberty. I idolized the role (I had really good role models in that department). I remember dreaming of a loving husband, and a nice comfortable home that I could keep(meaning housekeeper/homemaker) and 5 kids. Plus a dog
> 
> 3. Why do you like to dance so much after a long week? *I don't!* After a long week I like to relax! I do however do a ridiculous happy dance if I receive exciting news, but by myself of course! lol!
> 
> 4. You always seem so positive and supportive of one another. "Oh you look so good. I love that dress on you. You're not fat. ect." Guys are not like this. We joke with each other and try to challenge each other. "I bet you can't XYZ. Quit being a pussy. I can XYZ better than you can. ect." Is there any such equivalent with women? Do you guys try to one up each other too? When I was about 14 I had a friend that would always go on about how far she got with boys. She would kind of tease me that none of the boys wanted to do "baseball bases" with me. Girls would make fun of me a lot up till about 6th grade, pretty harshly. So in Jr high I had my first boyfriend and l remember flaunting that I had kissed with tongue AND he touched my boobies, LOL!!!
> 
> I suppose the point is that yes, we have our version of it. It's usually associated with "are you good enough that you're wanted". In my early 30's now and I STILL get weird vibes, depending on the woman, being a single person. Women flaunt their cookie cutter scenarios all the time. I really don't care. My response is nearly always, "Good for you!" or "That's fantastic!" because I almost feel like they are looking for me to say that for them to feel better. It's weird. I'm rambling. So I'm leaving this question be ...
> 
> 5. What do you like about romance novels/movies?


 I like them because they're "dreamy" ... maybe the equivalent to why men like sports? But to be honest, I have a weird fetish for violence too. I HATE sports but I really like movies like 300, or old kung fu movies etc.


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## perfectcircle

If you knew you were going to be biologically a male for one day, what would you do?

Try masturbating and pee standing up.
Go hit on women, as a women I'd know what to say.
Walk around without a shirt cause that's something I can do.
Go into a public restroom & try a urinal. Stare really awkwardly at other dudes peeing.

....trying to think if there is some other benefit to being a guy

maybe go to the gym to test my strength
and eat food to see if it tastes different

- If you suddenly woke up as a man, how would you feel? After the initial shock and once you realized no one operated on you in your sleep or what not ... Do you think you would identify and/or feel like a man? Or do you think you would keep seeing yourself as a woman? ... Other than dating and sexual relationships, do you think it would affect your life?

I think i'd be really depressed & wait to become a woman again. If I one day became a man & could never turn back, I think I'd kill myself or get surgery. But maybe I'd take to it. idk. i've always felt like a woman & never wanted to be a man.


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## perfectcircle

o different guys taste different? I would guess they would, but lacking in a point of reference. 
Yes they do.

Other Question - how inclined are you to do something you're not especially excited about sexually but your partner loves. From my point of view men seem fairly disinclined, but women seem more so, but would be nice to get the inside story?
Hm I am willing to do it. Tbh.. hard for me to think of things I am not so excited to do? But yes I guess I will do things if they want because they makes it enjoyable to me. I'd do anything I felt wasn't demeaning, the important point is that it is my choice and I don't feel pressured to do it. But yes, very willing. there are a COUPLE things I couldn't do for anyone, like scat play/golden showers, & beastiality. I;m also iffy on the idea of a threesome or moresome.

When at school did you feel pressured into certain (gender stereotyped) careers?
Not really cause I wasn't interested in 'typically masculine' careers.


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## 7rr7s

@_Ningsta Kitty_ Hell yeah, I do the flush/shoe trick too! Fucking smart. That's interesting what you said about women trying to one up each other subtley like that. I guess I've seen that too now that I comie to think of it. 

More questions:

1. I've heard that after a breakup, women experience emotional pain more intensley than men do, but it doesn't last as long, and they can get over it quicker whereas guys don't feel it as intensley, but it takes longer for them to move on. Do you think there's any truth to that statement?

2. If you were in a marriage, and everythign was great, you have a loving husband, great kids, a stable carreer, ect. except you were not satisfied sexually, and your husband wouldn't/couldn't change, would you cheat even if it meant risking the breakup of your marriage? Would you feel bad about it?

3. Can you be in love with two men at the same time? How do you deal with that? Is there allways one you love more?

4. What makes a man masculine? What comes to mind when you picture a "manly man"? 

5. Do you think the United States will ever have a woman president? Do you think a woman would make a good president?


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## perfectcircle

downsowf said:


> 1. How would/do you react if/when women flirt with your SO while you're around?
> 2. Do you flirt with other men while in a relationship? Do you care if your SO flirts with other women (and that's as far as it goes)?


1. I think it's nice cause it shows he is desirable and they can't have him so they are trying for nothing. nya na na na. But if he started reciprocating beyond being polite & saving face I'd be upset. Ideally he'd like put his arm around me or introduce me & they'd feel uncomfortable. lol.

2. I have flirted lightly when in a relationship. It wasn't overt but more, I was attracted to the person & I'd get more humorous or my eyes would stray, but it was never out-there or intentional or sexual/flattering by any means, more just like eyes straying a bit too long or lingering smiles cause there was slight attraction. I think the level I was flirting at would bother or not bother me depending on how insecure I was in our relationship if I saw him behaving that way.


----------



## Jennywocky

Snakecharmer said:


> We are DEFINITELY talking about your ass.


Before anyone gets upset, I just want to state that I had NOTHING to do with those cell phone pics being passed around.


----------



## android654

Snakecharmer said:


> I have no idea. I wonder the same thing! I was a personal trainer, and one of my projects was getting women to weight train. I wrote a booklet about women and weight training and gave it to female members. Then I designed a weight training class for women. A lot of the women in the class said that they were afraid to use the weight room because they didn't know what to do and/or were intimidated by the men.
> 
> I've been lifting weights since forever, so I have no idea why women waste all that time on cardio...


It's not just weight training that scares a lot of women. A close friend of mine boxes on an amateur circuit and he's an instructor. From what I gather there are somewhere between 4-6 women who walk in looking to learn how to box. After their first week they have their first sparring match, not a fight, but fully padded and merely getting accustomed to taking a hit. Once that is over he's lucky if he's left with one female student. So that plus what I see at the gym makes it seem like a lot of women are fickle when it comes to working out. Sure there are women who do crossfit or try their hand and even excel at Olympic lifting and men are fickle too but they seem to do it too but they at least seem to feign some kind of effort, but women seem to wanna take it easy at the gym with more frequency. If you're just gonna walk, get a dog. /rant.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Wellsy said:


> Does it resonate with youre experience that women do not like to go backwards in lifestyle and that man don't like to go backwards sexually? So you've experienced something better than before, its now your norm and you don't want to lose it.


I don't want to go backwards in either area. 



Wellsy said:


> Do bras bother you? Is shopping for them a bother?


It is really, really hard to find bras that are comfortable AND pretty. The bra is the second thing that comes off when I get home after work. 



Wellsy said:


> Words of my Nan went something along the lines that a man who doesn't cook, clean or do housework is single or soon to be? Would you agree with this statement?


Sort of. LOL. Messiness is a deal-breaker for me. 



Wellsy said:


> Do you enjoy a dick with a bit more than average girth more so than length?


GIRTH. But it depends on what we are doing. lol




Wellsy said:


> Do you catch younger men still checking you out?


All the time. My daughter is 19 and some of her male friends comment that I'm hot or whatever. It makes me laugh. In your dreams, buddy! 




Wellsy said:


> Would you agree it's a basic desire of all people to be wanted? The knowing or feeling that your partner or someone wants you, they want to taste, caress, laugh, live with you.


I think so, yes.


----------



## 7rr7s

Enfpleasantly said:


> The Settlers of Catan with Gandalf and Aragorn, or
> 
> Candy Land with Buddy the Elf, or
> 
> Jumanji with Robin Williams, or
> 
> Hungry Hungry Hippos with Mike Tyson, or
> 
> The Settlers of Catan with anyone who wants to play...I love that game, I used to play it with an ENTJ and INTJ all the time.


One of the best answers in this thread. Brilliant! 

Okay, more questions:

1. How good are you at picking up subtle things in social interactions, and what do you look for? Can you tell just by looking at people, if they are single or taken, if they are with friends or people they just met, things like that?

2. Where do you experience emotions in your body?

3. Do you think books like _Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus_ and other books that explore the differences in gender give an accurate description of these differences? 

4. If a man you were seeing or interested in started crying infront of you, over something not that serious like at a movie or listening to a moving song or something like that, how would you react? In what ways would you view him differently?


----------



## Enfpleasantly

KindOfBlue06 said:


> One of the best answers in this thread. Brilliant!
> 
> Okay, more questions:
> 
> 1. How good are you at picking up subtle things in social interactions, and what do you look for? Can you tell just by looking at people, if they are single or taken, if they are with friends or people they just met, things like that? yes, I do this rather easily and with confidence too. I actually feel pretty confident that I could tell people something about themselves that they don't openly express or show...even people over the Internet.
> 
> 2. Where do you experience emotions in your body? In my chest and throat mostly. Sometimes in my hands.
> 
> 3. Do you think books like _Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus_ and other books that explore the differences in gender give an accurate description of these difference? I think they are a good general base, but not an absolute, for sure. I think they are written without taking feeler men and thinker women into consideration. At the same time, I think thinkers have more "feelings" than they like to let on here, and feelers can be more cold than they like to let on here.
> 
> 4. If a man you were seeing or interested in started crying infront of you, over something not that serious like at a movie or listening to a moving song or something like that, how would you react? In what ways would you view him differently?



I'm very understanding, so I would try to understand him and why he's upset, even if it wasn't in a way I would personally be upset...I mean if he's crying for a reason that's not obvious. When I was a teenager, I would've been turned off by this because I was too worried about what other people thought, and I wouldn't have wanted a "wimpy" boyfriend. I'm much more mature now...and smarter; I know now I would try to understand...but, if he was being a blubbering idiot and it was frequently, I wouldn't be able to handle it at all. I actually think a man who can get choked up over a movie or listening to a song that means something to him is a beautiful thing.


----------



## Jennywocky

Snakecharmer said:


> I have no idea. I wonder the same thing! I was a personal trainer, and one of my projects was getting women to weight train. I wrote a booklet about women and weight training and gave it to female members. Then I designed a weight training class for women. A lot of the women in the class said that they were afraid to use the weight room because they didn't know what to do and/or were intimidated by the men.
> 
> I've been lifting weights since forever, so I have no idea why women waste all that time on cardio...


I actually don't mind weights themselves (i've used them for multiple training periods over the years). I just tend to have a swimmer's build, and the last thing I like doing is adding any bulk to my top, I don't like how I look. I don't mind weights on the bottom half, though.

I plan to start up with hardcore exercise next month again, to lose some weight I've gained in the last two years, and will probably add leg and butt weight exercises to the mix.


----------



## Jennywocky

Enfpleasantly said:


> The Settlers of Catan with anyone who wants to play...I love that game, I used to play it with an ENTJ and INTJ all the time.


I've only played it a few times, but I REALLY like it. I'd play it more often for sure, if I had friends nearby who I could play it with as well as wanted to spend the money to get the base game myself; the expansions look interesting. It does tend to be one of the more expensive games though, to purchase.


----------



## Geodude

Snakecharmer said:


> It is really, really hard to find bras that are comfortable AND pretty. The bra is the second thing that comes off when I get home after work.


What is the first thing?


----------



## Geodude

@Enfpleasantly and @Jennywocky - I love that game too. A friend introduced me to it a month ago.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Woof said:


> What is the first thing?


Guess.


----------



## Geodude

Snakecharmer said:


> Guess.


Shoes? :wink:


----------



## Snakecharmer

Woof said:


> Shoes? :wink:


If I am not home alone, yes. LOL


----------



## Snakecharmer

KindOfBlue06 said:


> Okay, more questions:


Yay! Keep them coming 



KindOfBlue06 said:


> 1. How good are you at picking up subtle things in social interactions, and what do you look for? Can you tell just by looking at people, if they are single or taken, if they are with friends or people they just met, things like that?


I'm very good at reading people. I attribute that to a combination of natural ability, experience, hypnosis and NLP training, and lots of reading about body language and well...reading people. Sometimes it is scary...




KindOfBlue06 said:


> 2. Where do you experience emotions in your body?


If I'm worried, nausea...stressed, headache or nausea....have had lots of both in the last few weeks...going through some serious transitions and soul-searching...not getting much sleep lately either.




KindOfBlue06 said:


> 3. Do you think books like _Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus_ and other books that explore the differences in gender give an accurate description of these differences?


I think they are rubbish. lol



KindOfBlue06 said:


> 4. If a man you were seeing or interested in started crying infront of you, over something not that serious like at a movie or listening to a moving song or something like that, how would you react? In what ways would you view him differently?


It depends on the frequency. I don't have much tolerance for whiny people. If it is so often that I find myself thinking he needs a Manpon, well...


----------



## Geodude

Snakecharmer said:


> If I am not home alone, yes. LOL


And if you *are* alone? :kitteh:


----------



## TheProcrastinatingMaster

Is the implication of this thread title that we can ask you anything because you know everything? If so, are you really omniscient?


----------



## Snakecharmer

Woof said:


> And if you *are* alone? :kitteh:


Then, as my good friend Adrian says, "Pants off, Party on!"


----------



## android654

Who's your favorite comedian? Author? Musician/band?



Snakecharmer said:


> Then, as my good friend Adrian says, "Pants off, Party on!"


Adrian sounds smart.


----------



## Snakecharmer

android654 said:


> Who's your favorite comedian? Author? Musician/band?
> 
> 
> 
> Adrian sounds smart.



Favorite comedian: Ricky Gervais. Big fan of George Carlin and Jim Gaffigan too.

Favorite authors: Douglas Adams, David Sedaris, JK Rowling (STOP ROLLING YOUR EYES), Tolkien, CS Lewis.

Poets: (I know you didn't ask, but I felt compelled to add this): Sylvia Plath and Shel Silverstein

Musician/bands: Queen (IMO Freddie Mercury is the greatest male singer who ever lived), Fleetwood Mac (LOVE Stevie Nicks), Supertramp, Yes, Josh Groban, Yo Yo Ma, etc...lots of favorites in various genres...

Adrian is VERY smart, indeed!


----------



## 3053

android654 said:


> Who's your favorite comedian? Author? Musician/band?



Comedian: 
-Jack Whitehall just because I want to jump his bones 

Author: 
-Huxley! One of the _unique_ classics I think.

Musician/band, just gonna give my currents as i'd be here all night otherwise:
- Moon Pollen
- Azaelia Banks 
- Ben Howard
- XXYYXX
- Trentemoller 
- Douster
- Placebo
- Kendrick Lamar 
- Neon Indian
- Cypress Hill


----------



## Enfpleasantly

android654 said:


> Who's your favorite comedian? Author? Musician/band?
> 
> 
> 
> Adrian sounds smart.


I like Daniel Tosh a lot, but not his stand up.

J.R.R. Tolkien

The Head and The Heart, Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros, Mumford & Sons, The Avett Brothers, Florence & the Machine, and a gazillion others. I could never just name a few. I like a ton of genres, so it's hard to pick a favorite.


----------



## petite libellule

downsowf said:


> I know! Right?! It would seem like a natural topic that would come up. It's just so obvious.
> 
> And yes! I have matching pink glitter nipple tassles to go with my pink glitter speedo. Talk about a conversation starter.
> :laughing:
> 
> C'mon Ningsta! I lose a shoe when I'm sober  I know the real story. You fell down, did a tumble down the stairs, and fell on top of your boss breaking his glasses. His wife walks by and thinks he's cheating so then divorces him.


 SHHH! Hey Rockstar ... Don't ruin the image  LOL!!! ... naw actually. That is a true story. The ONLY other club I've been too I had some foreign guy try to depants me on the floor. -_- Don't ask ... 



android654 said:


> It could be argued that love and lust both originate from anima, since they're both ineffable and are more felt than understood. *nods w/ smile* Fair enough
> 
> There are worse ways to pass the time. Touche' ... Just remember though. One night stands are fleeting, herpes is forever  lol!


Good Call on the Song Choice


----------



## Enfpleasantly

KindOfBlue06 said:


> @_Monkey King_ @_Enfpleasantly_ Fuck yeah Wicker Park is an amazing movie!
> 
> More questions:
> 
> 1. Do you find yourself behaving differently in a group of just women, vs. a group with one or more male? I honestly don't think I do.
> 
> 2. Do you believe in love at first sight? Do you find you meet men and feel an instant spark and chemistry, or does it take more time for you to become attracted to a man? I do not believe in love at first sight, but I do believe instant attraction is possible.
> 
> 3. If a man made a bad first impression, how could he redeem himself to be considered a friend or a potential partner? I would say just making a good 2nd impression.
> 
> 4. How did you meet your best girl friend?1) Highschool, 2) Nursing school, 3) Through my Husband (he went to college with her).
> 
> 
> 
> 1. Do you find you often intimidate men? Why do you think that is, and what do you think it says about the man?I don't know if I do or not, to be honest.
> 
> 
> 2. Do you feel uncomfortable revealing your age to people? no problem with that at all.
> 
> 
> 3. What's the most important lesson you've learned from another woman? I couldn't just name 1 thing. I would say self respect is a big one, and how to love.
> 
> 
> 4. What's your favorite kind of milkshake? I'm not a huge milkshake fan, but I like twist ice cream a lot...chocolate swirled with vanilla. Myyyyy milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and...





android654 said:


> But what's love without lust? I think lust evolves in a relationship. Desire for my SO is very important to me and I want him to feel the same about me.


In quotes


----------



## Enfpleasantly

downsowf said:


> what is the drunkest you've ever gotten?


I'm not proud of this at all but, my ISTP friend served me Gatorade with what I thought was vodka in it...one glass later and I couldn't remember a thing. It was moonshine! The bastard! It wasn't very nice of him. Thank goodness for the Mr. that evening.


----------



## Jennywocky

KindOfBlue06 said:


> 1. Do you find yourself behaving differently in a group of just women, vs. a group with one or more male?


It depends on the women. Some women groups have more formalized interactions (not sure how to describe, but you'd recognize it if you saw it... kind of over produced). With guys, I tend to be more much go with the flow and casual about everything and just "hanging out" kind of style. Guys are kind of fun that way.



> 2. Do you believe in love at first sight? Do you find you meet men and feel an instant spark and chemistry, or does it take more time for you to become attracted to a man?


I'm SX variant, so yes, I typically either "click" or not. I can't tell if the click means long-term love, but it definitely means the potential for it. I've tried to make things work with SOs, and I was married to a self-Pres for years, but it just doesn't work for me; in the latter case, we developed a type of love for each other, which I am grateful for, but it's not the type of love that fulfills me. 

Anyway, my answer is that I can tell in five minutes or less whether I'm interested in even pursuing a LTR with a guy. 



> 3. If a man made a bad first impression, how could he redeem himself to be considered a friend or a potential partner?


I am actually pretty fair, I think; and I am capable of stepping back and framing a guy's behavior in context, so I do some self-correcting (in his favor) especially if I know context or can imagine reasons for him acting a certain way. I also am very open to what the guy says and future behavior; I'm open-ended. So basically, if you want me to read you differently, behave differently (and with more consistency), and I will accept it. And I'm really open with being friendly toward people, even if I'm not interested in someone as a romantic partner.



> 4. How did you meet your best girl friend?


I have a few different women I am close to. One, I met at work; we were both rather new, and on the same project, and we just really liked each other. We are also both accomplished musicians, in our own way, so we had music in common. She's an ENFJ; we both have gone through some radical changes in our lives, including divorce, and we had similar thoughts when going through it. it was empowering for both of us.

Another is an INTP woman; we met online, but live within driving distance. we don't get to spend a lot of physical time with each other, but when we're together, it's just grand. It's so nice to deal with another woman who just bluntly says what she thinks and yet it pretty flexible; we just get along well together and totally get each other.

There's another woman, an INFP, I met online; and we chat offline, but if we lived near to each other, we'd spend a decent amount of time together. We both "N out" easily with each other (Ne fun!), and we value each other's opposite approach (her F, my T).

And so it goes. I tend to not pick a "best" friend, I have a number of women in my life all of whom are a bit different and serve a different role in my life, and so I value them all somewhat equally.



downsowf said:


> I knew it! talk amongst yourselves ladies. talk amongst yourselves. i really have to filter out the ladies who just want me for my ass and those that want to really get to know me- though my ass has an abundance of personality


Oooh, you're very slick! Are you talking out of your ass right now? I need to be able to distinguish! 



> What is the drunkest you've ever gotten?


A few incidents spring to mind.

Uhhh.... in college, the only time I threw up in college, I had drunk so much that I lost count of how many White Russians I had had. Conferring with others later, I apparently was off by about three... not good. That's my only "memory lapse," I think, from drinking too much.

The only other time I threw up, years, later, it was on red wine. I threw up in a friend's front yard up in Wisconsin, on Fourth of July, then collapsed on their sofa... they were very sweet and took care of me, and I felt like crap about it, and kept apologizing to them. 

A few years ago, I got really drunk on pomegranite martinis and was going in online chat. everyone thought that was hilarious. I get pretty goofy when I'm drunk, then I can sometimes wipe near the end and become a little melancholy.

I seem to go in phases. I just tried to have a drink the other night, and it just didn't even sit well with me. Little buzz, and not much desire to drink anything. That's been the way of things for some months now. 

I think it would be fun to make love when buzzed, on occasion. I'm careful who I am with when I've gotten buzzed, because I do recognize it lowers my inhibitions.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Andddd I'm also listening to the Wicker Park soundtrack right now :kitteh:


----------



## petite libellule

What's your favorite chick flick ?

Mine: House of Flying Daggers.


----------



## Up and Away

What do you do if you're addicted to sex


----------



## Sina

@Jennywocky

I was reading your response to the first impressions questions. And, all of a sudden, my memory snapped back to the time you had said that you met some guy who was bald and said he had...been infected by flesh eating bacteria or something and still had them. 

That was among the funniest things I've ever read. :laughing: From what I remember, you were more amused than repulsed by the whole deal. I found the whole thing "cute".


----------



## Jennywocky

Boss said:


> I was reading your response to the first impressions questions. And, all of a sudden, my memory snapped back to the time you had said that you met some guy who was bald and said he had...been infected by flesh eating bacteria or something and still had them.
> 
> That was among the funniest things I've ever read. :laughing: From what I remember, you were more amused than repulsed by the whole deal. I found the whole thing "cute".


ROFL! I'm so pooped and kind of under the weather, my mind is kinda drifting. I totally forgot about that guy when I answered that question tonight. Yeah, he had had multiple surgeries on the top of his head to deal with that problem, and here he was telling me on the first 10 minutes of our first meeting, just to break the ice! It was the most surreal first date I've ever had. Those ENTJ guys... wow. I appreciated his chutzpah, I've never had another guy leap in like that....



Ningsta Kitty said:


> What's your favorite chick flick ?
> 
> Mine: House of Flying Daggers.


Great movie. I'm a fan of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and Hero as well.

For more traditional "chick flicks," I really like "My Best Friend's Wedding." For some fluffier chick flicks, I like "50 First Dates" and "Serendipity." 

But otherwise that is not a good genre for me. When someone says "chick flick," I immediately think "Mean Girls."


----------



## Sina

Jennywocky said:


> ROFL! I'm so pooped and kind of under the weather, my mind is kinda drifting. I totally forgot about that guy when I answered that question tonight. Yeah, he had had multiple surgeries on the top of his head to deal with that problem, and here he was telling me on the first 10 minutes of our first meeting, just to break the ice! It was the most surreal first date I've ever had. Those ENTJ guys... wow. I appreciated his chutzpah, I've never had another guy leap in like that....


:laughing: Oh lawd..I remember literally spilling my tea when I had burst out laughing reading your post. That is quite the "ice breaker". Plus, I commend you on your open-mindedness...and self-control. I don't know how you managed to keep a straight face throughout the date. 
LOFL! 

p.s. How did the rest of it go?


----------



## dottywine

Souled In said:


> What do you do if you're addicted to sex


Evaluate what void I am trying to fill. Then get to work making myself feel fulfilled in other ways.


----------



## Jennywocky

Boss said:


> :laughing: Oh lawd..I remember literally spilling my tea when I had burst out laughing reading your post. That is quite the "ice breaker". Plus, I commend you on your open-mindedness...and self-control. I don't know how you managed to keep a straight face throughout the date. LOFL!
> 
> p.s. How did the rest of it go?


If you can believe this, we drove around for three hours talking and having a good time. I mean, seriously, we talked non-stop, and I enjoyed it, and he seemed to as well. It was clear we were both very smart and inquisitive people.

Then he proceeded to go home and never call me again. 

THat was the biggest irony of the night -- after what he told me, you'd think it would have been reversed. I wasn't really attracted to him romantically anyway, I realized as we interacted (we met online, and he had persistently chased me), although I did enjoy talking to him. There was definitely a mismatch in our personal styles; he showed up on a Saturday night to a casual "hang out and talk" date in a three-piece suit and tie, without the jacket, and even one of those hats that goes with the suits... just because he "liked to dress that way." Meanwhile I was wearing jeans and a zip-up fleece. 

At least it makes a funny date story.


----------



## JaySH

Why do women ask " Do these pants make my butt look big" when, if they do, an honest answer only angers them? (Note: I like a "healthy" butt on the bigger side so, even a "yes" isn't usually a bad thing)

Why do women often try to find the negative in what we say or do and relate it to/make it about them....like, as if we are trying to purposely hurt, offend or upset you when often we are just "being"? An example: I'm stressed out with work and quiet/withdrawn. I'm not ready to discuss it because I am still making sense of some of it myself...so, I'm quiet. I explain it was a rough day and I'm stressed and it becomes " why are you ignoring me?" "Are we not talking now?" 

Why is it many women want a man to split household chores equally (50/50) even when the man works significantly more? Not to imply he shouldn't be doing some share, just, if his time doing so is more limited, (especially with all the "man" jobs there are on top of work) it would seem fair he do less. 

And, why is it fair that mowing the lawn, cleaning out the gutters, organizing the basement and/or garage, fixing the plumbing leaks, killing bugs, taking care of car issues, etc, etc...why are these all (or most) viewed by most women in relationships as "man jobs" but, for a man to refer to doing dishes, laundry, mopping floors, vacuuming, etc as a woman's job is sexist?

Why is getting a power tool (drill, skill saw, sawzall, drillpress,etc.) for a man to more easily do repairs/projects around the home considered a "good" gift but, getting a "domestic tool" (good vacuum, food processor, blender, etc.) for a woman to cook or clean more easily is considered thoughtless and offensive? 

Why do so many woman have so many double standards? 

I have more...but, for a later time


----------



## JaySH

This is not going to be popular but, it's true. Please answer honestly 

why do so many woman say " I am not the type of girl to sleep with you on the first/few dates", just before taking their clothes off and sleeping with us on/within the first/few date(s)? 

I tend to lose respect when this happens and they've sold themselves as being soooo against it...shows they lack conviction to their own morales. And...I am kindof sexy but, hardly irresistible ( though I've made the claim in jest).  

When having met and interacted a considerable amount before actually going on a date, I understand how an exception is made but, that is often not the case. When it is, a bond and attraction has already been formed so, that is completely different, in my eyes. 


Next question: why do women cheat? And, why when they cheat is it so easily excused by other women?- " it's not your fault he's never there...you were lonely", "maybe if he tried harder you wouldn't have had to look elsewhere", "obviously your emotional needs weren't being met and he is responsible for that". 

But, when a man cheats (and, for the record, I don't), it's judged so differently by women " he's a dog", " it's not you, he's just a no old p.o.s.", " don't you dare take responsibility at all...he chose this, not you" 

I have been exposed to conversations from both angles and...well, it is often very much like described. I will say cheating men often excuse their own cheating ways and condemn a woman for it but, most faithful male friends do not condone a man cheating anymore than a woman...no matter what the circumstances.


----------



## JaySH

Does size really matter? How much is too much? How little is too little?


----------



## Wellsy

I've been pulling at straws to think of questions, here I have this great opportunity to delve into the willing minds of women of varying ages and I just got nothing in mind.

Perhaps one atm.
Have you ever been attracted to a person who you were also slightly repulsed by in way? something about them worked you up but at the same time you can see this person is bad news.

Do you like to cuddle and talk after sex? Don't care but enjoy it? Don't enjoy it at all perhaps?

Do you have a thing about having your partner touch your ears in someway, perhaps using their mouth?

Do you still look at yourself in the mirror and think "Hot damn, still got it"? perhaps not those same words but you get the jist.

Is shopping a dopamine rush for you? not for food but things you like more so than things you need.

Have you ever seen snow before? What about the ocean?


----------



## JaySH

Why do women say they want men who are committed, trustworthy, sweet, etc but often fall for men who are unfaithful, dishonest, rude, etc. 

beyond the answer of "thinking you can change them".

why, even when an attraction is present, do the men who have the aforementioned qualities often get friend-zoned?


----------



## JaySH

How do you keep your farts so discreet? I swear...women are ass ninjas...or gas ninjas. I know you all do it...but...when, where?


----------



## Sina

JaySH said:


> Why do women ask " Do these pants make my butt look big" when, if they do, an honest answer only angers them? (Note: I like a "healthy" butt on the bigger side so, even a "yes" isn't usually a bad thing)


I can't speak for other women, and I am not the conventional woman anyway lol. Personally, I don't really ask such questions. And, my SO and I are really open and honest with each other. Neither of us has a problem with the other gaining some pounds. This is just not a sensitive issue between us. We joke about the size of my ass all the time. I can laugh at myself, and I am not insecure about my body at all. 

Women who ask such questions tend to be insecure, and I guess, their partners should answer in a way that doesn't worsen their insecurity. So, telling her that her butt looks big is likely not a good idea. Luckily, none of my girl friends are hyper sensitive about such things. If they were, I'd just spout some generic lines like, "Oh no! You look great!" and leave it at that.



> Why do women often try to find the negative in what we say or do and relate it to/make it about them....like, as if we are trying to purposely hurt, offend or upset you when often we are just "being"? An example: I'm stressed out with work and quiet/withdrawn. I'm not ready to discuss it because I am still making sense of some of it myself...so, I'm quiet. I explain it was a rough day and I'm stressed and it becomes " why are you ignoring me?" "Are we not talking now?"


Just like the above this is just a generalization. I've dated men who were like the stereotypical women you describe. Again, it's unhealthy and insecure behaviour that I have no patience with. When I return from work after a stressful day, I need silence and space. Assuming I don't care anymore or that I am ignoring the person is selfish and disrespectful. It's not all about the other person. I have a life. I have needs. And, it's a partner's job to respect these. Any person who does this, man or woman, needs to reassess their behaviour and show their partner more respect. 



> Why is it many women want a man to split household chores equally (50/50) even when the man works significantly more? Not to imply he shouldn't be doing some share, just, if his time doing so is more limited, (especially with all the "man" jobs there are on top of work) it would seem fair he do less.


You may be ignoring the hours that working mothers put in to raise children. Being a SHM is a full time job just like paid labour, and with that in mind, chores should be split 50/50. A couple can negotiate this in a way that it doesn't leave either party feeling invalidated and used. Now, if the woman were just a housewife and there were no kids involved, then yes, I'd expect her to do more around the house. 



> And, why is it fair that mowing the lawn, cleaning out the gutters, organizing the basement and/or garage, fixing the plumbing leaks, killing bugs, taking care of car issues, etc, etc...why are these all (or most) viewed by most women in relationships as "man jobs" but, for a man to refer to doing dishes, laundry, mopping floors, vacuuming, etc as a woman's job is sexist?


Relegating women to the "household chores" department has been, throughout history, a form of undermining their intellectual skills and capabilities. Because of male privilege and all that it entails, it makes sense to say that cooking etc. is a woman's job is sexist. A man's ability to do strenuous work around the house has been looked upon as a form of prowess/skill. Women's contributions to the household have been, historically, denigrated and diminished. 

That said, I don't see household chores as male/female specific. I have no trouble taking out garbage (in fact, I do this quite often) or mowing the lawn or whatever. When my partner is around (LDR), he volunteers to do certain chores (including cooking and other 'ladies' stuff like cleaning and laundry) and more strenuous chores depending on my schedule. I do more when he's busy. He is an athlete, and he enjoys physical activity LOL. He likes doing yard work and carpentry etc. In fact, he insists on it. To me, it's an efficiency thing as well. He does some of these more supposedly 'manly' chores faster than I do, so if he volunteers for them, I have no issues letting him do them. This has been my experience with men I've dated. They tend to volunteer for some of these chores, because they do, in fact, do them faster than I. It's a win-win situation. 




> Why is getting a power tool (drill, skill saw, sawzall, drillpress,etc.) for a man to more easily do repairs/projects around the home considered a "good" gift but, getting a "domestic tool" (good vacuum, food processor, blender, etc.) for a woman to cook or clean more easily is considered thoughtless and offensive?


I have never heard of this before. I love receiving "domestic tools"/practical stuff as gifts. There's nothing offensive about it. It takes a lot more than that to get my silken panties in a bunch.



> Why do so many woman have so many double standards?


I'd rephrase that..why do so many people have double standards?

They do because people are hypocrites, and it's easier to point fingers at others than to critically evaluate your own choices.



> why do so many woman say " I am not the type of girl to sleep with you on the first/few dates", just before taking their clothes off and sleeping with us on/within the first/few date(s)?


So many men do the same. This is not a man/woman thing, like many of your questions suggest. I have nothing against women or men who do this, though I accept that their words and actions are clearly inconsistent. Though, their sexual choices are none of my business, nor do I think there's anything wrong with having sex early on. 



> Next question: why do women cheat? And, why when they cheat is it so easily excused by other women?- " it's not your fault he's never there...you were lonely", "maybe if he tried harder you wouldn't have had to look elsewhere", "obviously your emotional needs weren't being met and he is responsible for that".
> 
> But, when a man cheats (and, for the record, I don't), it's judged so differently by women " he's a dog", " it's not you, he's just a no old p.o.s.", " don't you dare take responsibility at all...he chose this, not you"


There are a whole lot of rationalizations and justifications people, male or female, give for cheating. None of these are acceptable, regardless of sex. I, personally, do not and would never cheat. It is cowardly, despicable and disrespectful behaviour that I refuse to indulge. If I no longer care for a guy, I leave him. I don't disrespect myself and him by fucking around with other people. I hold others to similar standards, be they man or woman. I don't judge women who cheat lightly at all. Cheating men receive similar treatment from me. 

Anyone (again man or woman) who makes excuses for someone else's choice to cheat and placates said person is an idiot in my eyes. It's hypocritical and irrational. The only time I give some leeway in this matter is when a person in a highly abusive relationship cheats on a partner.

In my experience (my friend circle etc.), women are quick to criticize those who cheat regardless of sex. No one gets a pity party. Period.


----------



## perfectcircle

JaySH said:


> Why do women ask " Do these pants make my butt look big" when, if they do, an honest answer only angers them? (Note: I like a "healthy" butt on the bigger side so, even a "yes" isn't usually a bad thing)
> 
> Why do women often try to find the negative in what we say or do and relate it to/make it about them....like, as if we are trying to purposely hurt, offend or upset you when often we are just "being"? An example: I'm stressed out with work and quiet/withdrawn. I'm not ready to discuss it because I am still making sense of some of it myself...so, I'm quiet. I explain it was a rough day and I'm stressed and it becomes " why are you ignoring me?" "Are we not talking now?"
> 
> Why is it many women want a man to split household chores equally (50/50) even when the man works significantly more? Not to imply he shouldn't be doing some share, just, if his time doing so is more limited, (especially with all the "man" jobs there are on top of work) it would seem fair he do less.
> 
> And, why is it fair that mowing the lawn, cleaning out the gutters, organizing the basement and/or garage, fixing the plumbing leaks, killing bugs, taking care of car issues, etc, etc...why are these all (or most) viewed by most women in relationships as "man jobs" but, for a man to refer to doing dishes, laundry, mopping floors, vacuuming, etc as a woman's job is sexist?
> 
> Why is getting a power tool (drill, skill saw, sawzall, drillpress,etc.) for a man to more easily do repairs/projects around the home considered a "good" gift but, getting a "domestic tool" (good vacuum, food processor, blender, etc.) for a woman to cook or clean more easily is considered thoughtless and offensive?
> 
> Why do so many woman have so many double standards?
> 
> I have more...but, for a later time


I just say personally I don't relate to any of these xD as well as those in your follow up post. I think a lot of the stuff above is stuff that has to do with shifting gender roles so as things change they may happen lop-sidedly in individuals or groups. For example, my dad in my family is the one who won't LET us into the shed, I'd LOVE to clean it, but it's "his space". Both of them like cooking. My mom does his laundry. There are women who embrace the idea of "domestic duties" being their role, for example, & don't feel like men should also do them, and then there are those who want equality all across the board. part of the reason for things that may require expertise or strength is simply men were taught to do them but women weren't so it may seem simpler, not saying that it isn't a double standard, cause it is. but in general here I think there is a lot of factors going on, to the point I'm not sure this is 'all women' or some women, for who I can't really answer for. ~~~ I feel like this answer is a cop out but it's what I really think!!


----------



## Sina

Wellsy said:


> Have you ever been attracted to a person who you were also slightly repulsed by in way? something about them worked you up but at the same time you can see this person is bad news.


No



> Do you like to cuddle and talk after sex? Don't care but enjoy it? Don't enjoy it at all perhaps?


I like to cuddle, but I don't like to talk after sex. 



> Do you have a thing about having your partner touch your ears in someway, perhaps using their mouth?


 I wish. My ears are not exactly an erogenous zone. My neck is what he should be focusing on. 



> Do you still look at yourself in the mirror and think "Hot damn, still got it"? perhaps not those same words but you get the jist.


I am 24, and I look forward to aging gracefully. 



> Is shopping a dopamine rush for you? not for food but things you like more so than things you need.


It can be. Though, grocery shopping excites me as well lol. 



> Have you ever seen snow before? What about the ocean?


I have seen and love both.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Wellsy said:


> I've been pulling at straws to think of questions, here I have this great opportunity to delve into the willing minds of women of varying ages and I just got nothing in mind.
> 
> Perhaps one atm.
> Have you ever been attracted to a person who you were also slightly repulsed by in way? something about them worked you up but at the same time you can see this person is bad news. uhhh, yeah about that...you know how women tend to love a man in uniform? Well I do too, except I tend to like dark evil men in a uniform like this...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Do you like to cuddle and talk after sex? Don't care but enjoy it? Don't enjoy it at all perhaps? cuddle always, talk a lot of times, but not always.
> 
> Do you have a thing about having your partner touch your ears in someway, perhaps using their mouth? yes for sure! ear, neck, back, and creases behind my knees and at my elbows.
> 
> Do you still look at yourself in the mirror and think "Hot damn, still got it"? perhaps not those same words but you get the jist. sometimes, haha!
> 
> Is shopping a dopamine rush for you? not for food but things you like more so than things you need. shopping in itself is not, but finding something perfect that I was looking for is...like a hunt I suppose
> 
> Have you ever seen snow before? What about the ocean?


oh yes, every winter...except this one so far. I had a miniature snowmobile when I was a kid; I was out on it all the time  Yes, I've seen the ocean and I love it. If it were up to me, I'd live near the ocean. I'm a water person through and through.


----------



## carlaviii

JaySH said:


> Does size really matter? How much is too much? How little is too little?


Size is nice. Skill is better. Good chemistry can trump both.

And since all women are built differently, there's no one answer to what's too much or too little. 

To answer the rest of your posts and questions: no, I don't know why so many people are stupid. Women don't have a monopoly on it, of course...


----------



## petite libellule

JaySH said:


> How do you keep your farts so discreet? I swear...women are ass ninjas...or gas ninjas. I know you all do it...but...when, where?


OMG! Why am I not surprised at this question. LOL! EW! ...

Firstly, I don't think women produce as much gas. Boys and Men are just more gaseous creatures. Men are more careless about what they eat (generally speaking). And I was always taught to go to the bathroom. AND further more, I very rarely tell someone I'm going to the bathroom (unless it's a close person and I'm in their house). If I'm in public, esp. w/ a guy or one I've recently met for that matter ... I simply say, "please excuse me. I'll be right back". *ponders* omg! I just realized. Do you know how many men I might have put off by doing that?! I bet they thought I was calling another guy or something. Isn't that hysterical. And here all I was doing was ... going to the bathroom :blushed:




I'll answer the rest of the questions in a lil bit.


----------



## petite libellule

carlaviii said:


> Size is nice. Skill is better. Good chemistry can trump both.
> 
> And since all women are built differently, there's no one answer to what's too much or too little.
> 
> To answer the rest of your posts and questions: no, I don't know why so many people are stupid. Women don't have a monopoly on it, of course...


Good answer!


----------



## Jennywocky

*Have you ever been attracted to a person who you were also slightly repulsed by in way? something about them worked you up but at the same time you can see this person is bad news*
Yes. It's been on forums mostly, though -- guys who are really really smart, and for some reason the sparring/engaging generates interest from me, but at the same time I find them frustrating to deal with -- either they're completely enigmatic or they're arrogant, or some other quality I just know I wouldn't want to deal with. Yet, with the flying sparks, some type of attraction is being generated. (As a comparison, I found Sawyer on Lost attractive and not just from looks, yet totally know a relationship with a guy like that would be a lousy idea.)

*Do you like to cuddle and talk after sex? Don't care but enjoy it? Don't enjoy it at all perhaps?*
Generally like it, it's kind of off-putting to be so intimate during sex, and within 30 seconds after to just have your partner "vanish" so to speak. But I usually don't have to talk, I just want to stay close. I'm kind of flexy on the issue, I just don't like, "Okay, what's on TV now?")

*Do you have a thing about having your partner touch your ears in someway, perhaps using their mouth?*
Lol.. uhh.... yes. And the skin on the inside of my forearms, and the creases behind my knees and elbows, and my neck, and ... well, lots of places like that, some of which you might not even expect.

*Do you still look at yourself in the mirror and think "Hot damn, still got it"? perhaps not those same words but you get the jist.*
ha! Depends on the day. Some days I feel pretty sexy and pretty, other days I just want to crawl under a rock... and the thing is that it's not that my appearance really changes, it's just my mood and attitude that day. 

*Is shopping a dopamine rush for you? not for food but things you like more so than things you need.*
I'm a typical P (at least how I perceive P) in this regard -- I love shopping and get a rush when I buy something, and immediately after I buy something I get buyer's remorse and want to take it back. I have worked at giving myself a day to think about a larger purchase, just to make sure it's something I really want and need.

*Have you ever seen snow before? What about the ocean?*
Snow? Yes. I grew up in Pennsylvania, and I think snowfall was much deeper there when I was young.Winters seem to have been growing more and more mild, honestly, as I age, although when cold does happen, it feels harsher to me. (Aging. Yuck.)

I've never been a huge fan of the ocean and was acquainted with only the east coast shores, until I went to Oregon 2-3 years ago and immediately fell in love. Their ocean is wild, active, energetic, free. It was October, and in the space of 30 minutes, the temperature changed by about 20 degrees, snow flurries stopped, and the sun came out beating. I sat on the beach and watched storm patterns circulate -- patches of rain moving about at the horizon, hearing the surf beat at the sand and rocks and driftwood, and my attitude toward the ocean irrevocably changed. I don't much like to swim in it, still, but I'd consider moving to Oregon just to live near the coast.




JaySH said:


> How do you keep your farts so discreet? I swear...women are ass ninjas...or gas ninjas. I know you all do it...but...when, where?


I went to secret ninja training school. 

(Didn't you ever see Kill Bill? She just pretended to use the Five-Finger Heart Exploding technique. Bill's actual demise occurred from a killer far more insidious.) 

Honestly, though... Why draw attention to oneself? It just takes practice.


----------



## perfectcircle

1. Do you find yourself behaving differently in a group of just women, vs. a group with one or more male?
yes, and I think most of my girlfriends do too

2. Do you believe in love at first sight? Do you find you meet men and feel an instant spark and chemistry, or does it take more time for you to become attracted to a man? 
I don't believe in love at first sight, I think you get an idea and if further investigation proves pleasing then you confirm your earlier suspicion, known as confirmation bias, that initial impression isn't a real indicator of that person at all. But I do think there is an initial spark or chemistry that can be instant, yes.

3. If a man made a bad first impression, how could he redeem himself to be considered a friend or a potential partner?
Well, it depends how bad. There's like, "that was awkward" or "he seems slighly socially unskilled..." vs. "creepy" or "socially unskilled to the point of no return." I mean, I've been in both situations, where I guy weirded me out & there was no chance of redemption, and the situation where a guy acted a lil weird the first couple dates in some small ways but they were also endearing, so I went with it & it turned out to be great. The difference is at what point these weird things are going on, in the beginning I cut slack if they things that seem manageable, cute, or due to nerves. If it stayed that way or got worse, no.

4. How did you meet your best girl friend?
I don't think I have one best girlfriend.



1. Do you find you often intimidate men? Why do you think that is, and what do you think it says about the man?
I don't know if I do. I can't tell if I'm intimidating or weird. If they are intimidated i am flattered. If I am weird, I am sad.


2. Do you feel uncomfortable revealing your age to people?
No


3. What's the most important lesson you've learned from another woman? I couldn't just name 1 thing. I would say self respect is a big one, and how to love. 
Well, that's hard cause some lessons were really important to me but I also forgot them. Among them were how too apply make-up, how to be close to someone, not to think about social situations too much, & that it is your right to change your mind.


4. What's your favorite kind of milkshake?
Banana  If not that then chocolate. omg I want a milkshake now look what you've done.


----------



## perfectcircle

Have you ever been attracted to a person who you were also slightly repulsed by in way? something about them worked you up but at the same time you can see this person is bad news
Well the two questions aren't really related for me but both to yes.

Do you like to cuddle and talk after sex? Don't care but enjoy it? Don't enjoy it at all perhaps?
Yes I like to cuddle & sometimes talk but talking isn't really necessary, it'd be silly talk if so

Do you have a thing about having your partner touch your ears in someway, perhaps using their mouth?
not really but ears are funny to play with. i tried making it sexy once but it was just laughable.

Do you still look at yourself in the mirror and think "Hot damn, still got it"?
i'm only 18 so i sometimes feel i am just 'getting it'.

Is shopping a dopamine rush for you?
if you are finding cute things & you are in good shape, it's like, "This world is mine." If you keep trying on bad things & you look shitty in the mirror you kind of want to die.

Have you ever seen snow before? What about the ocean?
Yes and yes


----------



## petite libellule

JaySH said:


> Why do women ask " Do these pants make my butt look big" when, if they do, an honest answer only angers them? (Note: I like a "healthy" butt on the bigger side so, even a "yes" isn't usually a bad thing) We are measuring the mans intelligence  If he is smart he'd say something like, "I think that outfit looks flattering. Or, it's lovely but, what about that outfit over there. I LUV the way your bum looks in that one". LOL!!!!
> 
> Why do women often try to find the negative in what we say or do and relate it to/make it about them....like, as if we are trying to purposely hurt, offend or upset you when often we are just "being"? Do you not think men haven't a record for doing the same?
> 
> An example: I'm stressed out with work and quiet/withdrawn. I'm not ready to discuss it because I am still making sense of some of it myself... I can actually relate to that myself.
> 
> so, I'm quiet. I explain it was a rough day and I'm stressed and it becomes " why are you ignoring me?" "Are we not talking now?" Again, I think men do the same thing. I think that maybe people do this when they are feeling needy. Rather than crucifying ourselves or each other for being human, might we build our inner security by asking for what we need. "I'm feeling really nervous today, not sure why, and you being quiet is bothersome". or, "Things haven't been the greatest between us, and I don't want to assume, but your aloofness makes me feel all the more lonely." ... idk. Just a thought. I suppose I'm not really afraid to admit anything nor am I afraid to ask for what I need. I'd like to think we all figure it out in the end, eventually
> 
> Why is it many women want a man to split household chores equally (50/50) even when the man works significantly more? I think the problem with this statement alone is that you (or the woman in this example), is comparing apples to oranges. A stay at home mom (who takes that job seriously) is gonna work a long hard day as well. It's just different. You can't really compare. A better question might be, "why do women _expect_ a man to share 50/50 opposed to asking for help" ... I think both men and women have trouble managing their expectations of each other.
> 
> Not to imply he shouldn't be doing some share, just, if his time doing so is more limited, (especially with all the "man" jobs there are on top of work) it would seem fair he do less. Again, I think it's managing expectations. A man can't expect a woman to read his mind no matter how strong of intuition she might have. If he has less time, then might he tactfully explain how the request is unfeasible and then try to offer another solution to help so she might not feel overwhelmed. Also, you said "it would seem fair he do less" which tells me you compare. I think it's the most important of concepts to swallow that you just can not compare. It's apples and oranges. They may both be fruit, but NOT the same. I think that thinking this way is a waste of time. The moment you drop the comparing urge, you might have a whole new world of possibilities. Believe it or not, relationship is really not that hard.
> 
> And, why is it fair that mowing the lawn, cleaning out the gutters, organizing the basement and/or garage, fixing the plumbing leaks, killing bugs, taking care of car issues, etc, etc...why are these all (or most) viewed by most women in relationships as "man jobs" but, for a man to refer to doing dishes, laundry, mopping floors, vacuuming, etc as a woman's job is sexist? I don't think it's sexist personally. I think one takes more rigorous strength. The other not.
> 
> Why is getting a power tool (drill, skill saw, sawzall, drillpress,etc.) for a man to more easily do repairs/projects around the home considered a "good" gift but, getting a "domestic tool" (good vacuum, food processor, blender, etc.) for a woman to cook or clean more easily is considered thoughtless and offensive? I absolutely think this is all about what the person enjoys. If a female is super into baking, getting her a kitchen tool is okay. If she isn't that into it, then it's offensive. The same could be said of a woman buying a guy a tool (hoping he'll fix stuff around the house) when he isn't really that into handy man stuff. IF a guy is super into wood working, it's the same as the girl whose into baking ... It's more of an individual thing. And I think this in particular stereotype doesn't die because it's funny. You Tube: In the doghouse commercial , LOL!
> 
> Why do so many woman have so many double standards? MEN DO TOO!!!
> 
> I have more...but, for a later time


 awesome


----------



## petite libellule

JaySH said:


> why do so many woman say " I am not the type of girl to sleep with you on the first/few dates", just before taking their clothes off and sleeping with us on/within the first/few date(s)? I don't know ...
> 
> I tend to lose respect when this happens and they've sold themselves as being soooo against it...shows they lack conviction to their own morales. And...I am kind of sexy but, hardly irresistible ( though I've made the claim in jest).  :laughing: Well, to be fair .. I've been SUPER turned OFF by guys who are too eager to bang after just meeting. Which was ... most of them :/ THIS is why when I was doing the dating site thing, very few got past the first few dates. You DON'T HAVE to bust it out if you're making out. Seriously people. One time, it was like that Seinfeld episode with Elaine, "He took it ... out", "he took it out?", "out" - oooh, too soon, no good. ... SO! Why do men take it out so soon?! LOL!!!!
> 
> When having met and interacted a considerable amount before actually going on a date, I understand how an exception is made but, that is often not the case. When it is, a bond and attraction has already been formed so, that is completely different, in my eyes. So in other words ... you'll be taking it out? LOL!!! I'm just teasing you
> 
> 
> Next question: why do women cheat? And, why when they cheat is it so easily excused by other women?- " it's not your fault he's never there...you were lonely", "maybe if he tried harder you wouldn't have had to look elsewhere", "obviously your emotional needs weren't being met and he is responsible for that". Okay. NOT FAIR - Why do men cheat? And the same applies, I've heard of men HELPING other men cheat ... This isn't a very fair question. What you are asking is, "Why are some people shitty" ... because, God wanted to make it exciting  I don't know!
> 
> But, when a man cheats (and, for the record, I don't), it's judged so differently by women " he's a dog", " it's not you, he's just a no old p.o.s.", " don't you dare take responsibility at all...he chose this, not you" *shaking head* you know better than to venture into this category
> 
> I have been exposed to conversations from both angles and...well, it is often very much like described. I will say cheating men often excuse their own cheating ways and condemn a woman for it but, most faithful male friends do not condone a man cheating anymore than a woman...no matter what the circumstances.


 Same for women. A faithful woman doesn't condone that from other women either. Shit happens, I get that. I wouldn't want a female friend to not tell me if they needed someone to confide in (one time awful situation). But for the most part, people who cheat are not one timer cheaters. They're just shitty people.


----------



## petite libellule

JaySH said:


> Does size really matter? How much is too much? How little is too little?


If you have a 3rd leg = TOO MUCH. If I am not aware of the moment of penetration = TOO LITTLE.

Every woman's body is gonna be different.


----------



## Death Persuades

JaySH said:


> Why do women say they want men who are committed, trustworthy, sweet, etc but often fall for men who are unfaithful, dishonest, rude, etc.
> 
> beyond the answer of "thinking you can change them".
> 
> why, even when an attraction is present, do the men who have the aforementioned qualities often get friend-zoned?


I am baffled by this as well  countless times have I been dumped for some cool jerk... I guess they all were cooler than me... maybe being cool is better than caring.


----------



## petite libellule

Wellsy said:


> Have you ever been attracted to a person who you were also slightly repulsed by in way? something about them worked you up but at the same time you can see this person is bad news. Yes.
> 
> Do you like to cuddle and talk after sex? Don't care but enjoy it? Don't enjoy it at all perhaps? I LUV to cuddle. After sex? Depends, are we all sweaty and gross? meh, not as much. But overall the answer is yes.  Talking? Not really. If he wanted to talk I would. But I wouldn't really initiate.
> 
> Do you have a thing about having your partner touch your ears in someway, perhaps using their mouth? I think ears is a fairly common erogenous zone.
> 
> Do you still look at yourself in the mirror and think "Hot damn, still got it"? perhaps not those same words but you get the jist.
> I never really did that. I look in the mirror after dolling myself up and deem myself pretty. That's about it. Sometimes I deem myself tired, like this morning as I brushed my teeth. LOL!
> 
> Is shopping a dopamine rush for you? not for food but things you like more so than things you need. No. I love to get new shoes, that has a little rush to it. But shopping in general doesn't. I see it more like a mission. I go in, search for what I need then get out. I do do the browsing thing though. That is just a casual pass time cataloging all the things I'd like. I don't do it much.
> 
> Have you ever seen snow before? What about the ocean?


 I see the snow every winter. I have seen the ocean only 2 times in my life. Only swam in the ocean once. I remember it was super salty.


----------



## Jennywocky

@_JaySH_: Hope I am not reading too much into this, but many of your questions are worded in ways that suggest frustration with some women you've had the misfortune to deal with. I don't really identify with the behaviors you describe, nor do my female friends; they seem just like bad "human" behavior, honestly, and should be viewed in that light. 

What I can answer (and I might answer a few more later):

*Why do women say they want men who are committed, trustworthy, sweet, etc but often fall for men who are unfaithful, dishonest, rude, etc. beyond the answer of "thinking you can change them". why, even when an attraction is present, do the men who have the aforementioned qualities often get friend-zoned?*

Well, it's not uncommon for some women to have wishful thinking and believe they can change a partner, just like men often have wishful thinking that a girl will be interested in him if he just "proves" himself or "keeps on trying" like in the movies. There are many foolish, naive, and/or inexperienced people in the world in regards to relationships; and in fact we all start that way; some of us take longer to figure out how all this works than others do.

There are also men who I've met who I enjoy talking to but feel no attraction for. The last guy I tried to date (this past fall), I met online. We had decent enough conversations and shared some interests in movies and books, but I did not feel any kind of spark. To give things a chance, I agreed to meet him anyway instead of going by my instinct. I will stress that there was nothing wrong with him, we had a good time talking (and rarely had a lull), and it was really nice to meet someone who was intellectually on a similar level and who I could actually learn something from in areas I knew less about. (This is NOT the "bacteria beastie" guy, btw!)

But I felt NO romantic attraction to him. He was just a nice, smart, responsible, faithful guy who I liked on a personal level but felt he needed some other woman besides me to make him happy, nor was he a guy I would have been happy with long-term because there was no real attraction; I was very sure that as soon as someone else who "clicked" with me came along, I'd want to break things off with him. I spent 15 years of my life in a marriage that existed on the basis of "being faithful" without much connection and I always was, even when I was miserable; but I don't ever want to do that again. That wouldn't be fair to him, nor to me.

So, just to say "the river runs both ways," he bugged off in our second meeting abruptly (because of time constraints) and I didn't get to say it to his face (which I wanted to do), so I wrote him after and explained, because I didn't want him to keep investing time if he didn't want to, since the relationship wasn't going beyond friends. He had been very courteous during dating; but he never even wrote back to tell me he got my message. He completely just bailed. It kinda sucks that, if I don't end up getting amorous with a guy, he doesn't want to be friends either; he should have at least been classy about it and sent a note saying he didn't want to talk anymore, or whatever passes for class nowadays. I expect he's probably off complaining about getting "friend-zoned" unfairly, based on his response. 

But honestly, I think it's important to stress that getting friend-zoned often has nothing to do with you. Unless you are a complete asshat (and then it IS your fault!), it typically means one of two things: Either the woman is not ready for what you have to offer right then (and it's her mistake), or there is simply no attraction there because your personalities don't mesh correctly and she can't make a LTR work with you and it's no one's fault, it's just not a good match.


----------



## android654

These questions all have to do with works of *fiction*.

Which was the first character you found yourself having a crush on? Admiring? Despising? Empathizing with?

What work(s) of fiction, popular, contemporary and classical, do you think have something important to teach society and people?


----------



## petite libellule

JaySH said:


> Why do women say they want men who are committed, trustworthy, sweet, etc but often fall for men who are unfaithful, dishonest, rude, etc.
> 
> beyond the answer of "thinking you can change them".
> 
> why, even when an attraction is present, do the men who have the aforementioned qualities often get friend-zoned?



It's a balance. I do not think that men consciously fall for shitty women nor do women consciously fall for shitty men. I think that everyone generally puts their best foot forward and it's after time, that you see what a person is. Impatience is a bitch. If I want a relationship more than I want a man, then I'm gonna end up with the wrong man. I think it sucks but necessary for that time period to exist so that people can test each other. NOT in a malicious shitty way. But testing for strength of character. For example, if you can't trust a woman's no - how can you ever trust her saying yes? 

I think that when men are sour for being friend zoned - it tells me they were 'expecting'. It's a shitty feeling for a female when a guy doesn't really want to be a friend anymore when he doesn't get what he expected. It's like giving a gift but only because you will be getting one in return, as opposed to actually caring for the person and getting them a gift because you wanted to. I think that both men and women need to learn the difference between love and selfish love. selfish love is suffocating, not taking into consideration the other persons needs. selfish love doesn't communicate their needs as they want the other person to read their mind. I can go on and on ... real love is when each party maintains their autonomy and loves and cares for the other with no expectations and just enjoys the experience of the other. 

I think that both women and men have to go through a series of bad relationships to learn. This is natural and nothing to be resentful or sour about. It's more of a matter of letting go than anything else. It's only when we let go that we are free to grab on to what we really want in life. (both the goals we set for ourselves and the people we want in our world).


----------



## Jennywocky

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Only swam in the ocean once. I remember it was super salty.


That's one reason I do not typically like the ocean. I enjoy the Great Lakes much better -- they're like the ocean, but it's fresh waste. I feel gross with all that salt and mineral in the water.

(The other is that I just get scared, because I can't see what's around me under the surface. Irrational, probably; but it just kinda freaks me out. I actually do better where the water is clear and I'm under the surface and can see a decent distance.)



Ningsta Kitty said:


> I think that when men are sour for being friend zoned - it tells me they were 'expecting'. It's a shitty feeling for a female when a guy doesn't really want to be a friend anymore when he doesn't get what he expected. It's like giving a gift but only because you will be getting one in return, as opposed to actually caring for the person and getting them a gift because you wanted to.




Nice way to say it. See my last post. I was interested in meeting people and, if one was a "click," proceeding to love; but I just felt like I had little validity as a person unless I was gonna be this last guy's girl. It was about him having a girlfriend and being happier with his life, more than us finding love together. I felt pretty objectified. He "did everything right" but I was being the party pooper by not playing along. 

And meanwhile, I was taking his feelings hugely into consideration as much or as more than my own, even if he didn't see it. That was the irony. Oh well.


----------



## petite libellule

Jennywocky said:


> That's one reason I do not typically like the ocean. I enjoy the Great Lakes much better -- they're like the ocean, but it's fresh waste.


 :laughing: Except when they close the beaches for flesh eating bacteria! LOL!!! 

In either case, I love being on a boat. 
Seriously, LUuuuuuuuv being on the water in a boat. This of course eliminates all the yuck


----------



## petite libellule

Jennywocky said:


> Nice way to say it. See my last post. I was interested in meeting people and, if one was a "click," proceeding to love; but I just felt like I had little validity as a person unless I was gonna be this last guy's girl. It was about him having a girlfriend and being happier with his life, more than us finding love together. I felt pretty objectified. He "did everything right" but I was being the party pooper by not playing along.
> 
> And meanwhile, I was taking his feelings hugely into consideration as much or as more than my own, even if he didn't see it. That was the irony. Oh well.


 Oh I totally get it, the irony. But suffocating isn't loving. Not saying you were because there weren't any details. I myself have been on both ends of the spectrum. It took time to balance myself out. Luckily for me, I think as much as I do. I learn fast. Which of course has left me with a short string of ex boyfriends walking around on this earth who no doubt are whole heartedly convinced, that I ... am a crazy person  LOL!!!


----------



## Jennywocky

Ningsta Kitty said:


> :laughing: Except when they close the beaches for flesh eating bacteria! LOL!!!


You guys are NEVAH gonna lemme live that down, are ya??? ROFLMAO!

"Looking for Guy with flesh-eating bacteria. If no flesh-eating bacteria, please do not apply. If you do have bacteria, please indicate a body location so that I can rank you properly."



> In either case, I love being on a boat.
> Seriously, LUuuuuuuuv being on the water in a boat. This of course eliminates all the yuck


Boats can be cool.  I also like planes. 

And taking a train trip (something I've never done), like one of those European trains where you sleep in the compartment and everything is right there, would be pretty cool too.


----------



## petite libellule

Jennywocky said:


> You guys are NEVAH gonna lemme live that down, are ya??? ROFLMAO!
> 
> "Looking for Guy with flesh-eating bacteria. If no flesh-eating bacteria, please do not apply. If you do have bacteria, please indicate a body location so that I can rank you properly."
> 
> :laughing: I hadn't seen that before!
> 
> 
> Boats can be cool.  I also like planes.
> 
> And taking a train trip (something I've never done), like one of those European trains where you sleep in the compartment and everything is right there, would be pretty cool too.


 Oh I'd vote for train!!! I've never been on a really long train ride. (I'm not counting the train from the burbs to the city). I imagine it would feel like being in an old black and white flick. Classic.


----------



## perfectcircle

JaySH said:


> Why do women say they want men who are committed, trustworthy, sweet, etc but often fall for men who are unfaithful, dishonest, rude, etc.
> 
> beyond the answer of "thinking you can change them".
> 
> why, even when an attraction is present, do the men who have the aforementioned qualities often get friend-zoned?


Ask a woman who she wants to be with and she probably doesn't describe "committed & trusthworthy" alone. She may describe these qualities, they may be implied, but she probably said intellgient, interesting, funny, attractive. There are millions of committed and trusthworthy caring people out there, that doesn't mean you want to be have sex with or be with them. 
Also are you sure those guys are always jerks? Is the girl a jerk then? People tend to date alike. But maybe he isn't a jerk and is just "cool" or not a sensitive type. That doesn't mean he's a jerk.

The reason I say this I HEAR men talking about this phenomena on the internet but i never see it in real life. There were plenty of guys who liked me who were probably nice & faithful types but there were also awkward, intrusive, assuming, not intelligent, poor social skills, or not physically attractive. For some of these guys, they worked on themselves & they aren't like that anymore. Some of them I just wasn't attracted to. & some of them did try to guilt trip me and it made me look down on their character. I didn't think it was very mature.


----------



## ChuckS

I am dating. I have finally met some great woman. I have on that I knew since the summer that I adored and thought she wasnt interest. She(Lisa) is now really interested and in fact was intimate last week with me. 

The other (Beth) I have been dating for about a month and she is growing on me, she has her act together too.

I have been dating Beth and we have recently just started to kiss. Lisa has always talk to me via txt but i never took her seriously. Then two weeks ago Lisa ask if i would like to go out. The second time we went out Lisa asked me to pick her up, when we got back to her house. We where intimate.

I have been on a lot of dates with the Beth and she has been escalating her request to play around. Now that I have spent time with Lisa I feel guilty. But this is dating I am tring to figure out what I want.

I really like Lisa, she is a smart attractive woman who has an MS but doesnt have a lot of time. 1 time a week to see me. I here from her once a day. I beleive this will change as she is more confortable and she gets her new home in order for her kids.

Beth has all the time int he world and is a Director of a company. She also always keeps in contact with me. Her kids are all grown up. She is also very smart and knows that I am dating. we met on match. I think she senses I am dating another hense her request to cut that off.

My question is. I get confused I like both. I can do nothing and continue dating and let the cards fall where they land. But I know Beth is about to but me into a bedroom and have her way. I see that coming. Of course i can say NO but its coming.

Or i can be brutally honest with both.

Did I say I dont like dating ! lol because it is difficult in this situation and its difficult when someone walks away too!

advice? would really like the womans point of view!


----------



## Jennywocky

@JaySH

*Does size really matter? How much is too much? How little is too little?*

It depends on the woman, honestly -- not just her own size of what she can handle, but also on her preferences of how she wants sex to feel.

There is a physical component to sex for me, but also an emotional one. Unless you're so small a woman can't feel anything at all ("Are you in yet?"), I wouldn't worry So much about it. The emotional part helps some with that. And too big can be bad. I mean, I want a guy to be able to go in the whole way, and I don't think I can handle 8", as an example. 

It really depends on the woman, and the couple. Sorry that is not much of a "clear" answer, but at least it should set one's mind at ease. Play it by ear.


*why do so many woman say " I am not the type of girl to sleep with you on the first/few dates", just before taking their clothes off and sleeping with us on/within the first/few date(s)? *

Most women don't want to be viewed as sluts or be treated as if we're easy and/or pieces of meat. But people are people, and especially with sex both men and women tend to find themselves in a hot situation and throw caution to the wind. I mean, it's HARD to stop when you're actually wanting it. Why do you think teen pregnancy is such an issue?

Some people might be just all talk and no substance, but it's also likely that she's expressing one set of her feelings. She doesn't want to just "sleep" around; at the same time, maybe a few days in, she really finds herself into the thought of sex with the guy, or she just wants to feel close to someone, or whatever. Who knows?

*I tend to lose respect when this happens and they've sold themselves as being soooo against it...shows they lack conviction to their own morales. And...I am kindof sexy but, hardly irresistible ( though I've made the claim in jest).  *

I'm careful how I evaluate people, unless I know the specific context. 


*Next question: why do women cheat? And, why when they cheat is it so easily excused by other women?- " it's not your fault he's never there...you were lonely", "maybe if he tried harder you wouldn't have had to look elsewhere", "obviously your emotional needs weren't being met and he is responsible for that". *

As far as I know, we don't excuse other women. I hate cheating by either side. Usually genders cheat for different reasons, but it's still cheating. Women sometimes try to justify cheating because she's not getting attention or emotional affirmation from hubby, so he's 'being a creep.' Men sometimes try to justify cheating because she is not putting out enough for him or is too bitchy for him. Lots of reasons, none of which are good.

Or are you referring to teenagers, who are behaving like this? Since they have no idea yet how relationships work?

*But, when a man cheats (and, for the record, I don't), it's judged so differently by women " he's a dog", " it's not you, he's just a no old p.o.s.", " don't you dare take responsibility at all...he chose this, not you" *
Context. Not sure. Can't answer.


----------



## Snakecharmer

android654 said:


> Fear no more.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I've had the same problem forever, so I just stopped bringing it up. Funny thing about Wicker Park, I saw the French original before I saw Wicker park and even though *Vincent Cassel *and Monica Beluchi are in the original I


I need to watch that movie TONIGHT. I find Vincent Cassel incredibly hot. Did you know that he and Monica Bellucci are married?


----------



## android654

Snakecharmer said:


> I need to watch that movie TONIGHT. I find Vincent Cassel incredibly hot. Did you know that he and Monica Bellucci are married?



Good luck finding a copy. When you're done you should also see _Irreversible. _When I heard they were making a movie of _Paradise Lost_ I crossed my fingers hoping they would cast Cassel as Lucifer. In my mind he's one of the best method actors in film history and he doesn't get enough credit for it. 

I did know that and I think they've got the perfect setup for a marriage. He lives in London, she lives in Paris and they seem to live their separate lives while still being married.


----------



## Snakecharmer

I have a lot of catching up to do in this thread...whew! lol

I'll get back to it tonight or tomorrow...


----------



## carlaviii

ChuckS said:


> advice? would really like the womans point of view!


Honesty is always better. 

What do you know about Beth and Lisa's expectations for your relationships? Are they thinking this is an exclusive deal, that they're laying claim to you? That's something you should all be clear on, because there will be hurt feelings if they were expecting faithfulness. 

And since STDs are always a concern, that's another reason to have all cards on the table.


----------



## Jennywocky

Snakecharmer said:


> I need to watch that movie TONIGHT. I find Vincent Cassel incredibly hot. Did you know that he and Monica Bellucci are married?


Oh gee -- I didn't know that. Usually I pick up on those things.

Monica came on my movie radar with her appearance as Persephone in the Matrix movies, as well as being in The Passion of the Christ. She's so very beautiful.

I didn't know who Vincent was until Black Swan. Rather mesmerizing.


----------



## Jennywocky

ChuckS said:


> I am dating. I have finally met some great woman. I have on that I knew since the summer that I adored and thought she wasnt interest. She(Lisa) is now really interested and in fact was intimate last week with me.
> 
> The other (Beth) I have been dating for about a month and she is growing on me, she has her act together too.
> 
> I have been dating Beth and we have recently just started to kiss. Lisa has always talk to me via txt but i never took her seriously. Then two weeks ago Lisa ask if i would like to go out. The second time we went out Lisa asked me to pick her up, when we got back to her house. We where intimate.
> 
> I have been on a lot of dates with the Beth and she has been escalating her request to play around. Now that I have spent time with Lisa I feel guilty. But this is dating I am tring to figure out what I want.
> 
> I really like Lisa, she is a smart attractive woman who has an MS but doesnt have a lot of time. 1 time a week to see me. I here from her once a day. I beleive this will change as she is more confortable and she gets her new home in order for her kids.
> 
> Beth has all the time int he world and is a Director of a company. She also always keeps in contact with me. Her kids are all grown up. She is also very smart and knows that I am dating. we met on match. I think she senses I am dating another hense her request to cut that off.
> 
> My question is. I get confused I like both. I can do nothing and continue dating and let the cards fall where they land. But I know Beth is about to but me into a bedroom and have her way. I see that coming. Of course i can say NO but its coming.
> 
> Or i can be brutally honest with both.
> 
> Did I say I dont like dating ! lol because it is difficult in this situation and its difficult when someone walks away too!
> 
> advice? would really like the womans point of view!


I advise that you be more proactive than reactive; right now you seem to be taking advantage of their mutual interests in you and just enjoying the ride, without looking out for either of them. They also might not be clear on the fact you think it is okay to date two women to the point of sex simultaneously, whereas they might not be. Neither of them will be happy to discover this on their own. Either of them might be amenable to "just dating/sex" benefits if you are honest with them, but if you aren't honest and they're not okay with it, there will be drama. I suspect they will also view you more as a boy rather than as a man.

In addition, Lisa has kids but seems more willing to engage quickly. Beth seems free, no kids, but has taken things slower. I see her as more likely to have problems, which is why she is cutting you off. 

You need to take a proactive approach, be honest, decide which you want to pursue if you have to make a choice, and go from there.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Ningsta Kitty said:


> :laughing: Except when they close the beaches for flesh eating bacteria! LOL!!!
> 
> In either case, I love being on a boat.
> Seriously, LUuuuuuuuv being on the water in a boat. This of course eliminates all the yuck


I love boating too...we go to a lake in Pa camping every summer, it's one of my favorite places. I started going to that lake when I was 10  beautiful.


----------



## Geodude

Jennywocky said:


> Oh gee -- I didn't know that. Usually I pick up on those things.
> 
> Monica came on my movie radar with her appearance as Persephone in the Matrix movies, as well as being in The Passion of the Christ. She's so very beautiful.
> 
> I didn't know who Vincent was until Black Swan. Rather mesmerizing.


Monica is gorgeous. She is on my free pass list (my wife and I have a list of 3 each who if the opportunity ever arose we would be allowed to sleep with with no comeback). 

Ladies, who would be on your free pass list (limit of 3)?

Also, if you're hetero, who would you turn gay for? If you're gay, who would you turn straight for?


----------



## Jennywocky

Woof said:


> Ladies, who would be on your free pass list (limit of 3)?


You mean who I'd give my SO a free pass for? Or on my free pass?

And what do you mean three? After you've had one, how do you expect to stop at three? Nuts!


----------



## Geodude

Jennywocky said:


> You mean who I'd give my SO a free pass for? Or on my free pass?
> 
> And what do you mean three? After you've had one, how do you expect to stop at three? Nuts!


Oh, I meant who you would want a free pass to be with. Your SO can decide for him/herself 

3 - well, I'll admit it's arbitrary. But I think it's fun to show some restraint


----------



## carlaviii

Woof said:


> Ladies, who would be on your free pass list (limit of 3)?
> 
> Also, if you're hetero, who would you turn gay for? If you're gay, who would you turn straight for?


I know it shows my age, but I (still) want David Duchovny on my free pass list. I'd have to think about the other two. 

I'm very hetero. The only woman who would tempt me even slightly is Portia di Rossi.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Ladies, can any of you smell sex? I can't


----------



## android654

Enfpleasantly said:


> Ladies, can any of you smell sex? I can't


You can't?


----------



## Enfpleasantly

android654 said:


> You can't?


Omg you are the 3rd one! No I can't! I feel like a weirdo, there has to be someone else who can't! Haha! What does it smell like? That's probably hard to answer....Am I missing out??!


----------



## Jennywocky

Sex smells like... teen spirit? ha ha. No. I guess not.
I can't really describe it. 

The gender smells are related to the various musks of both genders though, especially in areas that get sweaty and, uh, err... (close your eyes if you don't want to read this) moist.


----------



## android654

Enfpleasantly said:


> Omg you are the 3rd one! No I can't! I feel like a weirdo, there has to be someone else who can't! Haha! What does it smell like? That's probably hard to answer....Am I missing out??!


I'm just a little surprised, it's the first time I've heard someone say that. You can't sense it either? 9 times out of 10 I can walk in a room and tell if someone just had sex there. I thought it was one of things everyone could do, like pointing with their index finger.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

android654 said:


> I'm just a little surprised, it's the first time I've heard someone say that. You can't sense it either? 9 times out of 10 I can walk in a room and tell if someone just had sex there. I thought it was one of things everyone could do, like pointing with their index finger.


I'm never really walking in rooms after people just had sex, but I have before and I can feel it...I just can't smell it :blushed:


----------



## Rachel Something

JaySH said:


> Why do women ask " Do these pants make my butt look big" when, if they do, an honest answer only angers them? (Note: I like a "healthy" butt on the bigger side so, even a "yes" isn't usually a bad thing)


 Insecurity, I guess. It makes sense that a lot of women would be insecure about their appearance, because society places a lot of emphasis on how a woman looks. Women are valued highly for their physical beauty. This sort of thinking has been so deeply ingrained in the minds of many women, often to the point where they still subconsciously base a large part of their value and self-esteem on their appearance even when they should "know better", so to say. As a result, women generally want to hear that they are attractive and beautiful, and when they don't hear that (or they hear what they believe to be the opposite) it hurts them, even if they asked for an honest opinion. What can I say? The truth can hurt sometimes... and not everybody knows how to deal with those feelings properly. I guess it's similar to when a guy asks his girlfriend to tell him which one, out of all her partners, was the best in bed... and then proceeds to get upset when the answer isn't him. Not that all guys do that sort of thing.


> Why do women often try to find the negative in what we say or do and relate it to/make it about them....like, as if we are trying to purposely hurt, offend or upset you when often we are just "being"? An example: I'm stressed out with work and quiet/withdrawn. I'm not ready to discuss it because I am still making sense of some of it myself...so, I'm quiet. I explain it was a rough day and I'm stressed and it becomes " why are you ignoring me?" "Are we not talking now?"


 There may be a lot of different reasons for this, depending on the person. It may be because she's a bit on the self-centered side, or it may be because she's on the insecure side... or heck, maybe it's even both. Or perhaps they just don't understand why you're acting the way you're acting, and they can't relate to it because they have different ways of dealing with their issues. Also, they could be projecting their own ways onto you - i.e. they become withdrawn or stop talking when they're upset with you/when something's wrong in the relationship, and so they believe that your actions must be indicative of the same thing. Men are guilty of this too, though.


> Why is it many women want a man to split household chores equally (50/50) even when the man works significantly more? Not to imply he shouldn't be doing some share, just, if his time doing so is more limited, (especially with all the "man" jobs there are on top of work) it would seem fair he do less.


 If the woman is a SAHM, then I think it's perfectly fair for the chores to be split 50/50 - especially if the children are very young. It's not like they're just chilling out and hanging with the kids. It can be very tedious and stressful. Those duties call for a lot of their time and attention, and it's pretty much all day - it doesn't end at 5:00 pm, or whenever your average work day ends. However, if the woman is a housewife with no children to take care of, then it makes sense for her to do most of the household chores.


> And, why is it fair that mowing the lawn, cleaning out the gutters, organizing the basement and/or garage, fixing the plumbing leaks, killing bugs, taking care of car issues, etc, etc...why are these all (or most) viewed by most women in relationships as "man jobs" but, for a man to refer to doing dishes, laundry, mopping floors, vacuuming, etc as a woman's job is sexist?


 It's not fair, and it doesn't even make sense to me. Some women are biased, I guess. Though, in some cases, I think it's possible that due to the way they were raised, they just never gained the skills to do those so-called "man jobs" like handy work and outdoor work - and they may also lack confidence in their ability to do it - so the guy in the relationship does the work instead... but they don't necessarily label those jobs as exclusively male jobs. I dunno... I believe there's a difference between acknowledging that men and women have a general tendency towards certain jobs (I'm not saying that this tendency is natural. Rather, I believe that it's more socially ingrained than anything.) and outright expecting men and women to fill those roles.


> Why is getting a power tool (drill, skill saw, sawzall, drillpress,etc.) for a man to more easily do repairs/projects around the home considered a "good" gift but, getting a "domestic tool" (good vacuum, food processor, blender, etc.) for a woman to cook or clean more easily is considered thoughtless and offensive?


 I wouldn't mind at all if I received an appliance of my interest as a gift. Key word: interest. My boyfriend gave me a small food chopper once and I loved it. I wasn't offended at all... it made things pretty convenient, and I had always wanted one. I guess a lot of women just don't want to feel like cooking/cleaning is expected of them just because they're women, that's all. Besides, not all women think the way you described anyway. Also, there are some women who may not like receiving a domestic tool as a gift, because they just don't like those kinds of gifts. They may be the kind of women who like gifts that are pretty, shiny, sentimental, etc... and not necessarily practical. It all boils down to personal taste, really.


> Why do so many woman have so many double standards?


 The same reason so many men have so many double standards, I would imagine.


----------



## Monkey King

KindOfBlue06 said:


> One of the best answers in this thread. Brilliant!
> 
> Okay, more questions:
> 
> 1. How good are you at picking up subtle things in social interactions, and what do you look for? Can you tell just by looking at people, if they are single or taken, if they are with friends or people they just met, things like that?
> 
> *Oh I'm a lot better than that. What do I look for? Depends on what I need.*
> 
> 2. Where do you experience emotions in your body?
> 
> *I don't understand this question. In my mind where it stays and makes me neurotic. Is this what you mean?*
> 
> 3. Do you think books like _Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus_ and other books that explore the differences in gender give an accurate description of these differences?
> 
> *I've never read any if those types of books so I wouldn't know but if you ask me there is always a margin of error.
> *
> 4. If a man you were seeing or interested in started crying infront of you, over something not that serious like at a movie or listening to a moving song or something like that, how would you react? In what ways would you view him differently?


*I would assume that the crying is not arbitrary and that something in the movie triggered a sensitive spot. I woud ask him what is up and not pry further if he waves it off. I would be incredibly curious but would try not to think about it too much. I don't think this warrants a new perspective unless he shares the reason he cried. *


----------



## Monkey King

KindOfBlue06 said:


> More questions:
> 
> 1. Do you find yourself behaving differently in a group of just women, vs. a group with one or more male?
> 
> *My crowd is usually a mix of both men and women and no I don't really act differently unless I'm trying to strategically get to know someone for networking purposes*.
> 
> 2. Do you believe in love at first sight? Do you find you meet men and feel an instant spark and chemistry, or does it take more time for you to become attracted to a man?
> 
> *Love at first sight doesn't exist in my book but could for others*. *It takes more time. The spark you speak of is superficial, I'm probably physically attracted to him that anything he says sounds like sweet chemistry*.
> 
> 3. If a man made a bad first impression, how could he redeem himself to be considered a friend or a potential partner?
> 
> *Give me your pitch and I'll see how much your word is worth.*
> 
> 4. How did you meet your best girl friend?



*Family just immigrated. It was my first day of school in first grade and she told me that I need to hang my coat in the closet and put my books in my cubby. She then told me who all the cool kids are. Who picks their nose, scabs and eats it. She told me what time recess is and to eat with her at lunch time. She also suggested I pick a different lunchbox than Barney (mom picked it >_>). We played tag with the guys at recess and won. It was the beginning of our reign. She's an ENFJ type 3w2 so/sx. Bitch quickly became my best female challenger and competitve partner. Lol, there was this one math competition Girls vs Boys thing and we totally won against the two smartest guys lmao. We developed a kiddy war against those two because we all ended up in the same cohort for the GATES Program. So we'd compete in those classes agaisnt the two guys which drew us to the BFF label.*


----------



## That One Guy

"A side note here: I'm a trained hypnotherapist, and something I've experimented with quite a bit is the mind-body connection. I've been able to reach orgasm many times without any physical stimulation whatsoever. I can go into that more if anyone has questions." 

Please go into that more. c: I'm very curious of how it's done and how it works.


----------



## Snakecharmer

KindOfBlue06 said:


> More questions:





KindOfBlue06 said:


> 1. Do you find yourself behaving differently in a group of just women, vs. a group with one or more male?


I'm quieter around women. I'm not interested in most of what they tend to talk about. I've always been able to relate to men far more. 



KindOfBlue06 said:


> 2. Do you believe in love at first sight? Do you find you meet men and feel an instant spark and chemistry, or does it take more time for you to become attracted to a man?


I wouldn't call it love at first sight...might be lust, or just chemistry. Yes to lust! lol



KindOfBlue06 said:


> 3. If a man made a bad first impression, how could he redeem himself to be considered a friend or a potential partner?


It depends on what he did or said. Certain things are dealbreakers. If he was a drunken idiot the first time we met, then it is going to be hard for him to recover in my eyes, for example.



KindOfBlue06 said:


> 4. How did you meet your best girl friend?


We worked together at a gym.


----------



## Snakecharmer

KindOfBlue06 said:


> 1. What did you want to be when you were a little girl?


An actress, a singer, or a figure skater. 



KindOfBlue06 said:


> 2. For mothers and women who have been married: When did you realize you wanted kids/marriage?


I thought I'd never have kids - I always imagined myself becoming a celebrity of some kind. My friends in high school joked about me living in NYC and driving around in a Ferrari, forever single. Well...I got pregnant while in college and I have to say that having children changed me for the better. I have a son now too.  I don't like being married, though...might just be that I haven't met the right person.



KindOfBlue06 said:


> 3. Why do you like to dance so much after a long week?


I only dance if I've had a bit to drink. It has been awhile, but I used to love to go to DC to dance at a place called Lulu's. We danced on the bar, and there was a Latino guy who was always there who didn't speak English and taught us how to do some cool stuff. Ugh, I am tired today...sorry for not being very articulate...




KindOfBlue06 said:


> 4. You always seem so positive and supportive of one another. "Oh you look so good. I love that dress on you. You're not fat. ect." Guys are not like this. We joke with each other and try to challenge each other. "I bet you can't XYZ. Quit being a pussy. I can XYZ better than you can. ect." Is there any such equivalent with women? Do you guys try to one up each other too?


Yeah, I act more like a dude in this aspect. Might be why I don't have many female friends. :laughing:



KindOfBlue06 said:


> 5. What do you like about romance novels/movies?


*gags* I don't like most of them. I will admit to enjoying The Notebook though, because RYAN GOSLING.

*just lost some street cred*


----------



## Snakecharmer

downsowf said:


> I knew it! talk amongst yourselves ladies. talk amongst yourselves. i really have to filter out the ladies who just want me for my ass and those that want to really get to know me- though my ass has an abundance of personality
> 
> -------
> 
> what is the drunkest you've ever gotten?


LOL


Ooo. That's a tough one. I drank a lot during my college years. Oops. Um...probably the time that we took a bunch of Marine friends out before they left for Saudi Arabia. I still can't drink Tequila...and that was 20+ years ago. Why I thought I could keep up with a Marine, shot for shot, is beyond me...I remember standing up to go to the ladies' room and falling over. I had to have a friend help me to the bathroom. I had to work the next morning...and I worked at a restaurant with a bar. Of course I had the bar section, and everyone was ordering blood Marys and things like that, and the smell of all that alcohol made me so, so nauseated...one of my managers told me to eat some crackers and drink ginger ale...and that made me hurl for the rest of the day. lol


----------



## Snakecharmer

Wellsy said:


> I've been pulling at straws to think of questions, here I have this great opportunity to delve into the willing minds of women of varying ages and I just got nothing in mind.
> 
> Perhaps one atm.





Wellsy said:


> Have you ever been attracted to a person who you were also slightly repulsed by in way? something about them worked you up but at the same time you can see this person is bad news.


Oh, yes. I have a tendency to be attracted to "bad boys". My last LTR was with a guy who has a Harley, lots of guns, and smokes. :shocked: He completely fits the ISTP stereotype, too. He's very intelligent (his dad is a physicist and Mensa member, and mom is a brilliant, fiesty woman), which is why I overlooked the smoking (which is normally a major dealbreaker for me - he's the only smoker I've dated and I will never date another). 

On that note, now I am looking for a NON bad-boy type. lol



Wellsy said:


> Do you like to cuddle and talk after sex? Don't care but enjoy it? Don't enjoy it at all perhaps?


It depends on where I am in the relationship and my mood. 



Wellsy said:


> Do you have a thing about having your partner touch your ears in someway, perhaps using their mouth?


Yes - the ears and neck...makes me crazy! :crazy:



Wellsy said:


> Do you still look at yourself in the mirror and think "Hot damn, still got it"? perhaps not those same words but you get the jist.


Haha...okay, sometimes, yes.



Wellsy said:


> Is shopping a dopamine rush for you? not for food but things you like more so than things you need.


Not really...it actually causes me some anxiety. 



Wellsy said:


> Have you ever seen snow before? What about the ocean?


----------



## Snakecharmer

Woof said:


> Monica is gorgeous. She is on my free pass list (my wife and I have a list of 3 each who if the opportunity ever arose we would be allowed to sleep with with no comeback).
> 
> Ladies, who would be on your free pass list (limit of 3)?
> 
> Also, if you're hetero, who would you turn gay for? If you're gay, who would you turn straight for?


Who are the other two on your free pass list?

Mila Kunis. There's something about her. Rawr.


----------



## Snakecharmer

I forgot to answer this:

Have you ever seen snow before? What about the ocean?

Yes and yes. I live on the east coast of the US. I grew up in Maryland, so I've seen plenty of snow. Now I live in coastal VA, so I am a few minutes drive from the Atlantic.


----------



## android654

Snakecharmer said:


> Who are the other two on your free pass list?
> 
> Mila Kunis. There's something about her. Rawr.





Snakecharmer said:


> Oh, yes. I have a tendency to be attracted to "bad boys". My last LTR was with a guy who has a Harley, lots of guns, and smokes. :shocked: He completely fits the ISTP stereotype, too. He's very intelligent (his dad is a physicist and Mensa member, and mom is a brilliant, fiesty woman), which is why I overlooked the smoking (which is normally a major dealbreaker for me - he's the only smoker I've dated and I will never date another).
> 
> On that note, now I am looking for a NON bad-boy type. lol
> 
> 
> 
> It depends on where I am in the relationship and my mood.
> 
> 
> 
> Yes - the ears and neck...makes me crazy! :crazy:
> 
> 
> 
> Haha...okay, sometimes, yes.
> 
> 
> 
> Not really...it actually causes me some anxiety.


You young lady have earned yourself some cool points with me.


----------



## Jennywocky

Snakecharmer said:


> Ooo. That's a tough one. I drank a lot during my college years. Oops. Um...probably the time that we took a bunch of Marine friends out before they left for Saudi Arabia. I still can't drink Tequila...and that was 20+ years ago. Why I thought I could keep up with a Marine, shot for shot, is beyond me...I remember standing up to go to the ladies' room and falling over. I had to have a friend help me to the bathroom. I had to work the next morning...and I worked at a restaurant with a bar. Of course I had the bar section, and everyone was ordering blood Marys and things like that, and the smell of all that alcohol made me so, so nauseated...one of my managers told me to eat some crackers and drink ginger ale...and that made me hurl for the rest of the day. lol


God. I hated that kind of feeling.... where just a whiff of the booze I used almost made me lose it again. lol. Usually I got over it in a few months though; that must have a hell of a lot of tequila!


----------



## petite libellule

I you were a parent (or if you are) and your husband was laid of and couldn't find a job and your children were babies/toddlers. And you both decided he be a stay at home dad ... would you expect dinner to be made after coming home from a long day at work?


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> I you were a parent (or if you are) and your husband was laid of and couldn't find a job and your children were babies/toddlers. And you both decided he be a stay at home dad ... would you expect dinner to be made after coming home from a long day at work?


Just an FYI, I can roast a duck that would make you lose your mind.


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> Just an FYI, I can roast a duck that would make you lose your mind.


Lol! Now THAT sounds delicious! I'll have to keep in mind  lol!


----------



## Jennywocky

Ningsta Kitty said:


> I you were a parent (or if you are) and your husband was laid of and couldn't find a job and your children were babies/toddlers. And you both decided he be a stay at home dad ... would you expect dinner to be made after coming home from a long day at work?


Probably that would be tweaked by how good a cook he was.... 

It depends. I'm flexible and don't really much care, as long as the entire workload feels fair to me. What would frustrate me is if that it was something basic (like a crockpot that he just had to turn on, or an easy casserole that he just had to toss together and throw in the oven), but he consistently just didn't do it because he was surfing online for two hours or something. (I don't mind the surfing -- just toss dinner in the oven at the right time.) Not all meals are complicate or need monitoring. 

I would hold myself to the same standard if the situation was reversed. Note again that I'm flexible; with babies/toddlers, I might expect basic picking up around the house but I have lots of experience with that, so I understand how difficult it can be to keep a house in shape. With our kids growing up, we had to accept our house would not really be "clean/uncluttered" until the kids left for college, regardless of how well we tried to train them to pick up after themselves. You learn to flex or you go bugnuts.


----------



## carlaviii

Ningsta Kitty said:


> I you were a parent (or if you are) and your husband was laid of and couldn't find a job and your children were babies/toddlers. And you both decided he be a stay at home dad ... would you expect dinner to be made after coming home from a long day at work?


FWIW, when I was a kid, my mother worked full time and my dad stayed home (it was very unusual, in the70s and80s). yes, dad had dinner ready when mom got home. And he was a good cook. :happy:


----------



## Snakecharmer

android654 said:


> These questions all have to do with works of *fiction*.
> 
> Which was the first character you found yourself having a crush on? Admiring? Despising? Empathizing with?
> 
> What work(s) of fiction, popular, contemporary and classical, do you think have something important to teach society and people?


Man, I had to search to find this post! I remembered it and wanted to answer these questions. Found it! lol


First character I had a crush on: Probably Peter from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. I admired his courage, protectiveness, and logical thinking.

I despised The White Witch, of course. Wow, why can't I get out of Narnia today? :laughing: 

Admire? Atticus Finch.

Empathize with? None that stand out right now, but there surely many...

Important works:
1984
Animal Farm
To Kill a Mockingbird
The World as I See It (Einstein)
Psycho-Cybernetics by Dr Maxwell Maltz
God is Not Great
The God Delusion


----------



## dottywine

*I you were a parent (or if you are) and your husband was laid of and couldn't find a job and your children were babies/toddlers. And you both decided he be a stay at home dad ... would you expect dinner to be made after coming home from a long day at work?*

Hell to the effin' yes. Or text me that we are going out for dinner.


----------



## Monkey King

downsowf said:


> I knew it! talk amongst yourselves ladies. talk amongst yourselves. i really have to filter out the ladies who just want me for my ass and those that want to really get to know me- though my ass has an abundance of personality
> 
> -------
> 
> what is the drunkest you've ever gotten?


Downed full red cup of soju filled to the brim after an hour had passed from taking 2 shots of whiskey. Soju when chilled at the right temperature almost has no taste--- I thought there was only a trace amount of soju in the cup when I was drinking it. 

Apparently I was on Te/Se-high. Won every drinking game, crazy dares infront of people, cracked jokes, stopped two dudes from fighting by going in the middle lecturing them about the ridiculousness of the misunderstanding as though I was sober, while two of the biggest guys (host of the party) pinned them down and separated the two guys in different rooms. 

ESTP close friend was watching out for me which gave me a lot of respect for him after that as he knew I would not be the type to carelessly drink. He knows my tolerance because I learned to drink 'correctly' from him. He checked on me every 30 minutes with some carb and a waterbottle. He gave me his room (he was the host and had a few people crash it so he thought it'd be safer than the couch; he took the couch ;P ) to KO for 3 hours. Surprisingly, I had no hang over. We both wrote our statistic midterm essay that following afternoon and help him research his 30 pager thesis. LMAO 



Ningsta Kitty said:


> What's your favorite chick flick ?
> 
> Mine: House of Flying Daggers.


What Dreams May Come



JaySH said:


> Why do women ask " Do these pants make my butt look big" when, if they do, an honest answer only angers them? (Note: I like a "healthy" butt on the bigger side so, even a "yes" isn't usually a bad thing)
> 
> *Haven't asked this question. I generally don't buy anything that doesn't flatter me. *
> 
> Why do women often try to find the negative in what we say or do and relate it to/make it about them....like, as if we are trying to purposely hurt, offend or upset you when often we are just "being"? An example: I'm stressed out with work and quiet/withdrawn. I'm not ready to discuss it because I am still making sense of some of it myself...so, I'm quiet. I explain it was a rough day and I'm stressed and it becomes " why are you ignoring me?" "Are we not talking now?"
> 
> *I got this from both my exes. It was quite opposite for me.....Interesting. *
> 
> Why is it many women want a man to split household chores equally (50/50) even when the man works significantly more? Not to imply he shouldn't be doing some share, just, if his time doing so is more limited, (especially with all the "man" jobs there are on top of work) it would seem fair he do less.
> 
> *Not applicable to me. Never lived with an SO. But I'd like to ask you, that should you both work the same amount of hours; would you then say splitting the chores equally be a fair request? *
> 
> And, why is it fair that mowing the lawn, cleaning out the gutters, organizing the basement and/or garage, fixing the plumbing leaks, killing bugs, taking care of car issues, etc, etc...why are these all (or most) viewed by most women in relationships as "man jobs" but, for a man to refer to doing dishes, laundry, mopping floors, vacuuming, etc as a woman's job is sexist?
> 
> *I don't hold these views. Maybe the bugs thing because just to kill a spider I lug the vaccum around. I used to use pledge and spray a grip load of that foam stuff on it to trap the spider (it moves slower) lol
> 
> I've been single for 1.5 years now and I do all you've listed on my own. Google and DIY articles are madly helpful. So when and if I marry, I'll probably request we tag team those chores. *
> 
> Why is getting a power tool (drill, skill saw, sawzall, drillpress,etc.) for a man to more easily do repairs/projects around the home considered a "good" gift but, getting a "domestic tool" (good vacuum, food processor, blender, etc.) for a woman to cook or clean more easily is considered thoughtless and offensive?
> 
> *lol Again I don't hold these views but I often think that some accusations of sexism as plain childish. I often bought my SOs what they actually like based on interest. My exes knew to buy me things that was practical. My vacuum broke once and ex bought me a kick ass portable vacuum. I was like YES! I can use this on my car too. *
> 
> Why do so many woman have so many double standards?
> 
> *I haven't caught myself having double standards but I think this is probably due to social structures at work and what is perceived as normal for each gender. It isn't necessarily the woman OR man at fault but social structures the majority adheres to. But a list would be interesting as this isn't a topic that I normally read into since I think most of it is silly. *
> 
> I have more...but, for a later time





JaySH said:


> Does size really matter? How much is too much? How little is too little?


*Girth matters. 
When it hurts too much. 
When it doesn't hurt at all. 
lmao.*



Wellsy said:


> I've been pulling at straws to think of questions, here I have this great opportunity to delve into the willing minds of women of varying ages and I just got nothing in mind.
> 
> Perhaps one atm.
> Have you ever been attracted to a person who you were also slightly repulsed by in way? something about them worked you up but at the same time you can see this person is bad news.
> 
> *Probably not. I don't remember these things. *
> 
> Do you like to cuddle and talk after sex? Don't care but enjoy it? Don't enjoy it at all perhaps?
> 
> *I'm into burying myself into my SO's embrace. Bear hugs and light kisses on skin.
> I talk only when I remember something really funny and have to share immediately because the moment may pass. I love laughing so some talking is good especially if funny. Hahahha *
> 
> 
> Do you have a thing about having your partner touch your ears in someway, perhaps using their mouth?
> 
> *Yep. *
> 
> Do you still look at yourself in the mirror and think "Hot damn, still got it"? perhaps not those same words but you get the jist.
> 
> *::looks at self:: HOT DAMN I still got it. *
> 
> Is shopping a dopamine rush for you? not for food but things you like more so than things you need.
> 
> *LOL. No. Buying things is a thrill but the actual activity of shopping is not fun. *
> 
> Have you ever seen snow before? What about the ocean?


*Yep, I just came back from my ski trip yesterday. Yep, I live in coastal CA. *


----------



## Wellsy

Monkey King said:


> *Yep, I just came back from my ski trip yesterday. Yep, I live in coastal CA. *


CA is California right?
So you've been down that massive highway right along the ocean!?


----------



## Monkey King

Wellsy said:


> CA is California right?
> So you've been down that massive highway right along the ocean!?


From San Diego to the Bay Area (SF)  Beautiful.


----------



## downsowf

Wellsy said:


> So you've been down that massive highway right along the ocean!?


I did that! Went on a road trip from san fran to oregon staying in towns along the way. Greatest trip I've ever taken. The frequent changes in the physical geography is simply amazing. Then on the way back to SF, I stopped at a bunch of wineries. I recommend the trip.


----------



## Jennywocky

downsowf said:


> I did that! Went on a road trip from san fran to oregon staying in towns along the way. Greatest trip I've ever taken. The frequent changes in the physical geography is simply amazing. Then on the way back to SF, I stopped at a bunch of wineries. I recommend the trip.


I've never had the fortune to do that trip (I'm on the East Coast), but I've been in stretch from San Diego to LA, and I've also driven from Portland (right at the northern border) down along part of the Oregon coast. Loved it. I'd love to do the entire Seattle to San Diego stretch, honestly.


----------



## Jennywocky

Woof said:


> Oh, I meant who you would want a free pass to be with. Your SO can decide for him/herself
> 
> 3 - well, I'll admit it's arbitrary. But I think it's fun to show some restraint



Okay, here's my current list:

Mathew St. Patrick
Chris Evans
Daniel Craig

Right now, it's all drawn from actors, it could change if I have time to think about other fields.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Jennywocky said:


> Okay, here's my current list:
> 
> Mathew St. Patrick
> Chris Evans
> Daniel Craig
> 
> Right now, it's all drawn from actors, it could change if I have time to think about other fields.


Good list. 

Mine:
Christian Bale (he's my favorite...dear gods)
Javier Bardem (Penelope Cruz is a really lucky woman)
Dylan McDermott


----------



## Death Persuades

To the women that have been pregnant... Are all these cravings I see in movies real? I've heard stories about women wanting to eat paper and dirt and pickles dip in peanut butter... Is this true?


----------



## Sina

@josue0098

I've wondered about that too. xD

Ok ladies. Here's a confession and a question. I've realized that I feel more comfortable, in public, when my arms/legs etc. are waxed. This is pretty annoying, and it's really not in line with my belief that a woman should not be under any pressure to conform to a certain beauty ideal. Part of my reason for waxing is that it hairy arms and legs make me feel a bit itchy. Smooth is better in that respect (easier to moisturize as well). But, I've realized that a much bigger reason is aesthetics. It does make me a bit of a hypocrite, and I am willing to accept that lol.

So, how do you feel about hair removal? What are your reasons? If you refrain from it, because you hold certain values, how do you manage to be so strong in your convictions? @snail may have a thing or two to say here.


----------



## Snakecharmer

josue0098 said:


> To the women that have been pregnant... Are all these cravings I see in movies real? I've heard stories about women wanting to eat paper and dirt and pickles dip in peanut butter... Is this true?


It is true, but I didn't really have any cravings that stand out. When people crave non-food items like dirt and clay that's a condition called Pica, which can happen during pregnancy. Some believe that people crave those things because they need vitamins or minerals contained in them. 

When I was pregnant with my son, I had terrible morning sickness for the first 3 months. My daughter was 6 at the time and wanted peanut butter & jelly for lunch every day. I love PB&J, but when I was pregnant with my son just the smell of it made me incredibly nauseated. 

That was a LONG 3 months...


----------



## Snakecharmer

Boss said:


> Ok ladies. Here's a confession and a question. I've realized that I feel more comfortable, in public, when my arms/legs etc. are waxed. This is pretty annoying, and it's really not in line with my belief that a woman should not be under any pressure to conform to a certain beauty ideal. Part of my reason for waxing is that it hairy arms and legs make me feel a bit itchy. Smooth is better in that respect (easier to moisturize as well). But, I've realized that a much bigger reason is aesthetics. It does make me a bit of a hypocrite, and I am willing to accept that lol.
> 
> So, how do you feel about hair removal? What are your reasons? If you refrain from it, because you hold certain values, how do you manage to be so strong in your convictions? @snail may have a thing or two to say here.


I don't think women should feel that they HAVE to remove hair due to societal expectations. I do shave my legs and armpits because I like that smooth feeling. When I was married to my ex, we had a lot of "hippy" friends who were really into natural living, and most of the women didn't shave. It is a personal preference - no big deal either way to me. 

I don't think your preference for being waxed makes you a hypocrite at all - it is your personal preference, and you don't seem to be judging others for removing or not removing hair.


----------



## Jennywocky

Snakecharmer said:


> Good list.
> 
> Mine:
> Christian Bale (he's my favorite...dear gods)
> Javier Bardem (Penelope Cruz is a really lucky woman)
> Dylan McDermott


Oh, wonderful list! 

And the part that made me smile? They were all in my top 7-8 names that I was mulling over. I was just watching reruns of AHS last night; I always thought McDermott was attractive since I saw him in "In the Line of Fire" years ago. It's not just appearance for me, it's the personality melded with it, plus being comfortable in one's own skin.


----------



## Jennywocky

Boss said:


> Ok ladies. Here's a confession and a question. I've realized that I feel more comfortable, in public, when my arms/legs etc. are waxed. This is pretty annoying, and it's really not in line with my belief that a woman should not be under any pressure to conform to a certain beauty ideal. Part of my reason for waxing is that it hairy arms and legs make me feel a bit itchy. Smooth is better in that respect (easier to moisturize as well). But, I've realized that a much bigger reason is aesthetics. It does make me a bit of a hypocrite, and I am willing to accept that lol.


I'm not sure why aesthetics is considered a bogeyman here. We decorate our house for aesthetics; we buy products for aesthetics, we like how they're designed; artists create things for aesthetic reasons. Aesthetics to me is different than mindless conformity. 

And going that far, I don't even see it as bad to do something the majority is doing, just in the process of fitting in; fitting in is not a bad thing either; I considering it a bad thing only if we are sacrificing our own moral principles in order to fit in. 

And going even further, if the issue is one that is not really that important to us or in the moral realm, then why not do something that better allows you to bond with the group? Fitting in better gives you more flexibility and sway within the group -- you are more likely to be helped in time of need, and you are in a better position to help others. I don't find purposeful conformity for positive benefit to be bad; we do it all the time when we move our homes or get a new job. 

I think my only question is, do you feel that you are being morally compromised by waxing? If you are feeling guilt over it yourself, then maybe it's something to reconsider; you want to be true to yourself here. But if you don't feel guilt? It's just hair, and it's your body. Do what you want, where it doesn't hurt another.



> So, how do you feel about hair removal? What are your reasons? If you refrain from it, because you hold certain values, how do you manage to be so strong in your convictions?


Personally, I don't like hair on my body (except on my head). I just don't like how it feels, and I don't like how it looks. I couldn't care less about what others do; I just don't happen to like it on me. I also love how smooth my body feels after I've shaved it off.

I'm too lazy to do consistent waxing, but I shave my legs at least weekly, shave my pits every few days, and shave anything else with hair that ends up growing that I don't like. It's just hair.


----------



## hela

Boss said:


> So, how do you feel about hair removal? What are your reasons? If you refrain from it, because you hold certain values, how do you manage to be so strong in your convictions?


I am a feminist and my sister is a feminist. I shave and she doesn't. For me, it's an equal balance of sensation and aesthetics: I prefer the look of smooth skin, and it feels nice. During the winter, this all goes out the window because my legs are always covered/I can't feel them anyway WHUPS SURPRISE BEAR SEX if I'm with anyone it's always hilarious.

For my sister, it's a statement about society. She hasn't shaved since she was thirteen. People gave her shit about it at first, but she ignored them and kept doing her thing. No one bothers her about it now.

With regard to other women shaving: I don't notice. It's more "hot legs" rather than "wow that girl is sporting some major fuzz."


----------



## Snakecharmer

Jennywocky said:


> Oh, wonderful list!
> 
> And the part that made me smile? They were all in my top 7-8 names that I was mulling over. I was just watching reruns of AHS last night; I always thought McDermott was attractive since I saw him in "In the Line of Fire" years ago. It's not just appearance for me, it's the personality melded with it, plus being comfortable in one's own skin.




Oh, he was so, so hot in AHS. 

Did you see Love in the Time of Cholera? 

Oh!
I need to add my list of favorite actors...notice a trend?
Hugh Grant
Alan Rickman (oh, that voice)
Colin Firth
Martin Freeman
Andrew Lincoln


----------



## Sina

@_Jennywocky_, @_Snakecharmer_, @_hela_

Thanks for your responses. I certainly don't look at aesthetics with contempt. The thing that intrigues me is that the only reason I find my waxed legs pleasing to the eye is because that's what society dictates as an ideal of beauty (and I have internalized it). I like hairy legs on men. So, clearly, I have no aesthetic repulsion to hairy bodies in general. I like the smoothness of my body when it's waxed, but personally, I wax *more *for reasons that have to do with (unconsciously at times) living up to a certain 'feminine aesthetic' that I don't personally care for and actually criticize at times. So, I do deem myself a hypocrite with good reason. I have been a positive body image advocate for a while, and I am comfortable with the hypocrisy I exhibit in my own choices. Of course, I am completely ok with women choosing to stay hairy (which I admire since it's something I haven't been able to overcome, not for moralistic reasons, but even for fun experimental reasons...I feel too 'self conscious' when I am all hairy, considering I am half South Asian, I get pretty fuckin hairy) or go hairless. It's a personal choice that I can respect. 

Now, I am not losing sleep over any of this. My own 'morals' (I don't hold fast to these much anyway) are not too deeply intertwined with this issue. Though, I am always impressed by women who have strong enough convictions that they refrain from shaving for reasons of principle.


----------



## hela

Snakecharmer said:


> Oh, he was so, so hot in AHS.
> 
> Did you see Love in the Time of Cholera?
> 
> Oh!
> I need to add my list of favorite actors...notice a trend?
> Hugh Grant
> Alan Rickman (oh, that voice)
> Colin Firth
> Martin Freeman
> Andrew Lincoln


If I ever meet a man with a voice like Rickman's, I'm taking him out of the dating game and locking the door behind me.


----------



## Jennywocky

Snakecharmer said:


> Oh, he was so, so hot in AHS.
> 
> Did you see Love in the Time of Cholera?


No, I missed that. But now that we're talking about him, I'm having to fight the urge to go back to the pilot and watch his cute little naked butt walking out of the bedroom in that one scene. Yeesh. 



> I need to add my list of favorite actors...notice a trend?


I'm thinking I do. 

Rickman's got a wonderful voice, I thought that as soon as I saw him in Diehard when it came out, where I had no idea who he was.

I need to dig up episodes of Sherlock, after seeing Freeman in The Hobbit; he seemed very cute there. Lincoln's kind of intriguing; I've been watching in Walking Dead (I'm only early into Season 2 at this point). He doesn't quite click with me personality-wise via his character in the show, but physically he's attractive .

Build's part of it, I want someone who is more my height / equal in terms of presence. There are younger guys like Ben Whisham and Cillian Murphy who I think are "beautiful" and transcendent, but who don't have the physical presence that appeals to me; if I were only 5'4", though, they might have made my list. They also have a different type of presence than the men currently on my list.


----------



## Dauntless

Jennywocky said:


> Rickman's got a wonderful voice, I thought that as soon as I saw him in Diehard when it came out, where I had no idea who he was.


I know, right?! 

I have a thing for voices as well :kitteh:


----------



## Jennywocky

hela said:


> If I ever meet a man with a voice like Rickman's, I'm taking him out of the dating game and locking the door behind me.


There's another fun question -- is voice as huge a deal for you as it is for me?

I wouldn't say I exclude men for having average voices, but an awesome voice just makes my knees weak. it has a much more profound effect on me than I ever thought it would. There was a guy on FaceBook I know, who was interested in me, but his political views annoyed me, average looks as well. I knew it wouldn't work because of the personality differences, but i let him call me once, for the heck of it and because he was persistent... and he had this amazing speaking voice. 

it was odd how much dominance that took in my consideration of him, because I found myself attracted just because of the voice, while my brain was saying, "What on earth are you doing? You KNOW you don't have anything in common with this guy at all." 

But I just wanted to hear him talk to me.

@_Introverted Innovator_: LOL! I just saw your post.


----------



## Snakecharmer

carlaviii said:


> often overlooked, the role that voice plays in sexiness... I couldn't help noticing *Benedict Cumberbach* has a sexy set of pipes on him. The next Rickman, perhaps?


OHMYGODS. How have I missed that? I just listened to part of an interview with him. He has a voice very much like Rickman's! Love it.


----------



## Snakecharmer

josue0098 said:


> I'm 21... and why are all the nice women on the internet, but not where I go in person? T_T


Good question. I guess you are exposed to a larger sample size on the internet? Or, maybe forums like this draw more intelligent people than those you are exposed to IRL.


----------



## Death Persuades

Snakecharmer said:


> Good question. I guess you are exposed to a larger sample size on the internet? *Or, maybe forums like this draw more intelligent people than those you are exposed to IRL.*


That's probably it.


----------



## android654

Snakecharmer said:


> Good question. I guess you are exposed to a larger sample size on the internet? Or, maybe forums like this draw more intelligent people than those you are exposed to IRL.


Way to pat us all on the back.

I've got a question. If given the opportunity to either pursue what you thought to be the most important relationship of your life or have the opportunity to pursue your life's work, which would you choose?

For those of you who are mothers and/or wives, if you knew now how things would have developed would you still have chosen to become mothers and wives or would you have driven your lives differently?


----------



## redmanXNTP

Enfpleasantly said:


> Oddly enough, my Dad is ENTJ 163 and I married ENTJ 361. They are different, but the main qualities from my Dad that defines what a man should be (to me), they share.


This is why it's typically better if your dad, at "best", only sort of likes your boyfriend but also doesn't like him. If he loves him, it probably means the boyfriend's submissive in your father's eyes, and you likely share a lot of the way your father views the world in that regard.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

redmanXNTP said:


> This is why it's typically better if your dad, at "best", only sort of likes your boyfriend but also doesn't like him. If he loves him, it probably means the boyfriend's submissive in your father's eyes, and you likely share a lot of the way your father views the world in that regard.


Lots of truth in this statement, for sure. 

I'm so fascinated by this stuff...how animal we are.


----------



## Dauntless

android654 said:


> way to pat us all on the back.
> 
> I've got a question. If given the opportunity to either pursue what you thought to be the most important relationship of your life or have the opportunity to pursue your life's work, which would you choose?
> 
> For those of you who are mothers and/or wives, if you knew now how things would have developed would you still have chosen to become mothers and wives or would you have driven your lives differently?



great question.


----------



## carlaviii

android654 said:


> I've got a question. If given the opportunity to either pursue what you thought to be the most important relationship of your life or have the opportunity to pursue your life's work, which would you choose?
> 
> For those of you who are mothers and/or wives, if you knew now how things would have developed would you still have chosen to become mothers and wives or would you have driven your lives differently?


Given that I tried the first and it hasn't gone so well... I'm inclined toward pursuing my life's work. Which I'm finally getting around to, at 41. 

If I'd known then what I know now...? I'd like to think I might have done differently, but it's hard to walk away from a relationship when everything in life is telling you there isn't likely to be another chance. The difference being that I know now that I don't need another chance. It's not something that's easy to take on faith; you have to know it in your bones.

I'm glad I didn't have kids, though. I got that much right.


----------



## hela

android654 said:


> Way to pat us all on the back.
> 
> I've got a question. If given the opportunity to either pursue what you thought to be the most important relationship of your life or have the opportunity to pursue your life's work, which would you choose?
> 
> For those of you who are mothers and/or wives, if you knew now how things would have developed would you still have chosen to become mothers and wives or would you have driven your lives differently?


If it's a definitive either or? My life's work. 

Neither a mother nor a wife, but I'm interested in seeing everyone's responses. I like this question.


----------



## WickerDeer

android654 said:


> Way to pat us all on the back.
> 
> I've got a question. If given the opportunity to either pursue what you thought to be the most important relationship of your life or have the opportunity to pursue your life's work, which would you choose?
> 
> For those of you who are mothers and/or wives, if you knew now how things would have developed would you still have chosen to become mothers and wives or would you have driven your lives differently?


That first question is hard. The natural answer for me is both. Ideally, the work would happen first, then the relationship would have to fit into the work schedule.

As a child, I never wanted to be a mother. I knew that motherhood meant sacrifice, sacrifice, and more sacrifice. My pregnancy, honestly, was an accident. It must have happened around our first dating anniversary, and I had been using a combo of spermicide, pulling out, and rhythm method (taking temperature and avoiding sex during ovulation). 

I had a choice. The father told me it was my choice whether or not to get an abortion (which also meant I would always own the responsibility for the choice--asshole ). Actually, he's not an asshole in that way. I guess that's the best a man can do right? It's your choice, I'll support you either way. You can live forever with the guilt of having an abortion, or for the guilt of getting pregnant as a teenager, and having a child out-of-wedlock like some kind of reality-show hussy (and believe me, people will judge you either way.) 

I asked myself if I could handle raising a child--if I could give the child the life it deserved. I knew it was my responsibility to make this choice, and that it was my mistake--not the child's, to get pregnant. I asked myself whether I would have preferred to be aborted or not, and since I almost was, this was a personal question. So I decided to go through with the pregnancy, and never to look back.

A few years later, I ended up leaving the father and I never regretted that. I may have sacrificed a lot when I chose to have a baby, but that doesn't include sleeping with a man who I couldn't stand. He still tries to make me feel guilty for it--and there are probably a lot of other people who would like to do that too--but i don't regret it.

My child is a wonderful, thoughtful person, and he's the most important thing in my life. I don't think things were meant to work out in any other way.

The idea of being a wife scares me. I've been engaged twice, and I've terminated the engagement twice. 

Jeezus, I'm such a scarlet woman.

I think that if I could do anything different, I would not have began dating again after leaving my son's father. I'd have blocked my ears to all that crap society slings around about people, and i would have done more of my own thing with my career and passions while raising my child.


----------



## WickerDeer

And I guess I should say that I was "married." We never got legally married, but we had a marriage ceremony. I was in a relationship with a man for six years after I left my child's father.

That was something I regret. I think now that romance is a nice ideal. It's a nice thing to dream about an ideal partnership--and to write about in fictional stories. But the love between myself and my child is much more real than anything I've ever had with a domestic partner. 

Also, I am definitely pro-choice.


----------



## snowbell

What is it like dealing with diets? I imagine there's a lot of social pressure to keep within a certain weight, etc - how do you do it and does it get to you?


----------



## Snakecharmer

snowbell said:


> What is it like dealing with diets? I imagine there's a lot of social pressure to keep within a certain weight, etc - how do you do it and does it get to you?


Good question.

Well...I'll admit some things here that I don't think I've shared on this forum before.

I am 5'1 and weighed around 110 until college, when I think my weight when up to about 120 or so. I'm petite and have to be very careful about my weight, not only because every extra pound really shows, but I start to feel uncomfortable.

I'm 42 now and stay in the 130s. I don't deprive myself entirely (I love chocolate and have it on a regular basis). I am pretty good about moderation in most things. I also work hard at it - I eat healthfully (no sodas, very little alcohol aside from occasional red wine, no fast food, and I watch my carb intake). I used to work out 5-6 days a week, but my work schedule has been interfering with that since March. I'm working on figuring out how to fit more in, though.

Honesty time: I was bulimic for years. I didn't break the cycle until my daughter was a toddler. I decided that enough was enough and that I needed to be a healthy role model. I stopped on my own, without help from anyone, and have never looked back.

It is sad, actually...when I was a teenager and young adult I was very healthy and looked great...I think fashion and fitness magazines and of course TV and movies always made me feel like I wasn't good enough. In reality, I was always fine. It took me a long time to get to this point, though...now I eat right and exercise for ME and really don't care what anyone else thinks. Love me or leave me, I am who I am. :happy:


----------



## Snakecharmer

android654 said:


> Way to pat us all on the back.


Hey, anytime. :tongue:




android654 said:


> I've got a question. If given the opportunity to either pursue what you thought to be the most important relationship of your life or have the opportunity to pursue your life's work, which would you choose?


A few years ago, I probably would have chosen the relationship option. Now it is the work option. I've been married and divorced (twice) and have two awesome children, and now it is time for me to focus on things I want to accomplish. I did things backwards, I think. lol



android654 said:


> For those of you who are mothers and/or wives, if you knew now how things would have developed would you still have chosen to become mothers and wives or would you have driven your lives differently?


Wife - NO
Mother - absolutely

There's one thing I would change if I could go back and do things over. I wouldn't have put grad school aside for my ex-husband...because I got nothing out of that deal. Long story, but...yeah.


----------



## WickerDeer

Do you find that you want sex more or less as you mature?

Do you feel that you are more or less satisfied with your sexual experiences now, or when you were younger?


----------



## hela

snowbell said:


> What is it like dealing with diets? I imagine there's a lot of social pressure to keep within a certain weight, etc - how do you do it and does it get to you?


Incredibly annoying. Diets are one of the most boring topics of all time, and in my area they're considered a "safe" topic (ala the weather) and a form of social bonding. I wouldn't care about it as much if this social expectation of women didn't lead to people questioning me whenever they see me eating brussels sprouts or something for lunch: Are you dieting? :angry: No, I just like to eat healthily. Maybe I just like brussels sprouts, they're good with olive oil and balsamic. Same goes for exercise: I ask someone if they want to work out with me, and it's all OH ARE YOU TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT??

No, asshole. It's the healthy thing to do. This shit is b-a-n-a-n-a-s 

It's never about women taking care of their health, but always about conforming to societal standards. There could be a 92-year-old grandmother on the treadmill and it'd be all ARE YOU TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT?? There needs to be more of a focus on women's overall health, rather than the vagina! or the waistline! Same for men, ty. But that's a different topic. 

The social pressure used to get to me when I was a kid, because the women in my family are all Kate Moss thin: 5'10", 110 lbs, etc. I ended up 5'6" with Hendricks ratios. This was a major source of conflict for a long time because they thought t&a would kill me and make me permanently unlovable (or rather, attract the "wrong kind" of attention). All of their attempts just ironically made me more rebellious, but I did try to get into Atkins in college. I quit bothering when I realized I wasn't ready for that kind of lifetime commitment to self-hatred.

Tl;dr: it gets to me in that it pisses me off, but I don't diet.


----------



## carlaviii

snowbell said:


> What is it like dealing with diets? I imagine there's a lot of social pressure to keep within a certain weight, etc - how do you do it and does it get to you?


LOL! I am fat. I have always been fat. I am going to die fat. In the last ten years, I have finally made peace with my body and grown enough of a spine to flip off the dieting industry without a second thought. 

I suffered enough, thank you. I spent far too many years buying into the bullshit and believing I didn't deserve love, or good sex, that I was weak and pitiable. Truth is, my body functions just fine. BP's normal, blood sugar is normal, my joints are good and years of yoga have helped me build up a useful amount of muscle mass. 

It's a bit of a sore spot for me. Eat as healthy as you can, treat your body well, and be whatever size you are. Life's too long to spend it miserable, hating yourself, and hungry. (and the sex is too good to miss :kitteh


----------



## Brian1

I grew up on cliches. I have the maxim "many hands make light work," pounded into my head through my dad saying it over the years. 

So I guess is it true what they say, that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? Are there women that you really don't want to see mad?


What is the Capitol of Luxembourg?

48 / 6 + 100 - 2

What is Sting's real name, and what poet does Huey Lewis pay tribute to with his name?

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if woodchuck could chuck wood?


----------



## Snakecharmer

meltedsorbet said:


> Do you find that you want sex more or less as you mature?
> 
> Do you feel that you are more or less satisfied with your sexual experiences now, or when you were younger?


More, but it comes in spurts (ha ha, no pun intended - I swear). Maybe I should have said "waves". 

I'm much more satisfied now, because I know my body and know what I like...and I'm pretty sure I know what men like.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Brian1 said:


> I grew up on cliches. I have the maxim "many hands make light work," pounded into my head through my dad saying it over the years.
> 
> So I guess is it true what they say, that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? Are there women that you really don't want to see mad?


Bitches be crazy, man. I do know some crazy women who have unpredictable mood swings. Whew. One of them is like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde when she drinks vodka. When she starts making martinis, it is my cue to head out the door. 



Brian1 said:


> What is the Capitol of Luxembourg?


Not cool, dude. :tongue:




Brian1 said:


> 48 / 6 + 100 - 2


NO. Not another ambiguous math problem!




Brian1 said:


> What is Sting's real name, and what poet does Huey Lewis pay tribute to with his name?


Gordon Sumner. I don't know the answer to the second part of your question. 



Brian1 said:


> How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if woodchuck could chuck wood?


How ever much the woodchuck wants to chuck. Hmmm


----------



## Up and Away

To what ratio should a guy be assertive vs humble?


----------



## Jennywocky

iamawolf said:


> To what ratio should a guy be assertive vs humble?


Well, I would say the guy should be able to be "other-centered" without being self-absorbed -- a guy who can acknowledge himself as a person like anyone else, but who has that understanding in context of the other people around him.

And that kind of grounding will end up being part of his expression of pride... he can be aware of and proud in a good sense about his accomplishments and skills, but meanwhile he will also know his limits and weaknesses and be humble rather than overbearing about what he can and cannot do.

I like a guy who has quiet self-confidence enough to go after what he wants without trying to force things to happen a certain way. He also is self-aware enough to know what he basically wants, or knows how to proceed in order to figure out what he wants. Neither extreme of the "arrogant guy" or the "guy who debases himself" are guys I have much interest in, because both are rather self-absorbed... one thinks too highly of himself, and one thinks too lowly, and both are a drain on a relationship and end up taking rather than giving.


----------



## Jennywocky

snowbell said:


> What is it like dealing with diets? I imagine there's a lot of social pressure to keep within a certain weight, etc - how do you do it and does it get to you?


I try to ignore it and base my behavior on my own concept of self, and also have forgiveness for myself.

For example, I'm not currently happy with how I look, and I know I can be slimmer than I am right now. (I don't look horrible, but I've looked better.) However, it's also been a pretty rough fall for me, emotionally, with some things that have happened in my life, so I've been forgiving myself and just not bothering to read magazines or look at certain people or beat myself up over it. I'm also an emotional eater which does not help, and I'm not naturally wispy-thin, I store fat easily.

My current plan is to start going on a "regular" diet after the New Year, and add regular exercising to my day since I have time, and seeing where that takes me. I need to plan my shopping/meals out better than shopping haphazardly, though, and have better snack food in the house.

Once I lose the weight I want to lose where I'm happy with my appearance and feel healthy, then I'll worry about how to keep it off. I don't need to be desperately thin, I just want to feel good about my health and body and not feel like my clothes are tight. I've also lost weight twice before and know what is reasonable for me.

One big thing is that I do not go by numbers (in terms of target weight) because I know for me, the BMI is really stupid and inaccurate. I'm going by overall look and feel, and overall health, and realistic eating and exercise patterns.



meltedsorbet said:


> Do you find that you want sex more or less as you mature?


I actually want more. But I was depressed through much of my 20-30's, but now am in an overall better place. Once my divorce finishes and I deal with the weirdness in my finances, I should feel a lot happier overall.

In the process of fixing things in my life and becoming "un-depressed," I find I also far more crave physical touch and connection than I did when younger. Sometimes it's pretty bad, and it surprises me after living such a cerebral, isolated existence for so long. I'd probably easily want sex a few times a week, and would be open to more, depending on who I was with.



> Do you feel that you are more or less satisfied with your sexual experiences now, or when you were younger?


Not sure, because I've only ever been with one person since my separation a few years ago. I think I'm happy with my body and would be more satisfied with the sex now. I definitely liked the sex better with him than with my marriage years ago, I felt loved regardless of what I looked like.


----------



## Jennywocky

Brian1 said:


> So I guess is it true what they say, that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? Are there women that you really don't want to see mad?


I'm too jovial to stay mad for long, but you don't want to see my INFJ daughter pissed off. She will cut you as much as look at you. 



> What is the Capitol of Luxembourg?


If you had asked about the Capital, I would have had to say, the letter "L".



> 48 / 6 + 100 - 2


Oh, 106 or something, I guess.



> What is Sting's real name, and what poet does Huey Lewis pay tribute to with his name?


Wiki has the answer to Sting's name; I had heard of it but did not recall it.

Rotten Tomatoes credits Lewis' name selection to his poet stepfather.



> How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if woodchuck could chuck wood?


Not sure, but it's probably correlated to how much spit that a woodchuck could spit after a woodchuck chucks some wood.


----------



## hela

iamawolf said:


> To what ratio should a guy be assertive vs humble?


100/100. 

A guy has to be able to hold his own in an argument and a relationship. Assertive has zero to do with being an arrogant, pompous dickwit and everything to do with being honest, speaking up for your needs, and not being ramrodded. It's backed by respect and genuine self-esteem and is not sheer bravado. 

Things that are not self-assertion:

- Bitch I'm a man! So we're doing it my way because my dick says so! 
- My cock is the size of the universe!!! FUCK THE WORLD THAT'S ADULTERY 
- Tantruming by punching things and throwing plates around in order to prove a point
- I'm the best! I'm the best! I'm the best! That bowl of froot loops I just made for you is the best, I'm a certified gourmet chef! My last shit was the best! Your last shit was awful! because I'm the best! No one can match me! Ever!
- Etc

Being humble, for me, means being able to admit when you're wrong and not be threatened by your mistakes: being able to say, yes, I fucked up. I'm not perfect. Being okay with fucking up and learning from it, etc. It has nothing to do with not recognizing your accomplishments.


----------



## Brian1

Is there a lot of uncontrollable bleeding when you use the bathroom, because I find a lot of blood stained tissues on the floor of the women's bathroom, everyday, I'm called to clean that bathroom more than the men's? Where's this blood coming from, can it be stopped?


----------



## Snakecharmer

Brian1 said:


> Is there a lot of uncontrollable bleeding when you use the bathroom, because I find a lot of blood stained tissues on the floor of the women's bathroom, everyday, I'm called to clean that bathroom more than the men's? Where's this blood coming from, can it be stopped?


Oh dear.

I'm...speechless. No idea. Yikes.


----------



## hela

Brian1 said:


> Is there a lot of uncontrollable bleeding when you use the bathroom, because I find a lot of blood stained tissues on the floor of the women's bathroom, everyday, I'm called to clean that bathroom more than the men's? Where's this blood coming from, can it be stopped?


It's coming from the vagina.

It cannot be stopped.


----------



## Brian1

Snakecharmer said:


> Oh dear.
> 
> I'm...speechless. No idea. Yikes.


I just googled it, and am reading a wikipedia article on Menstruation. Forget that I asked. If you don't want to reply, I just connected the dots, don't feel like you need, to I don't want to have people embarrassed. 

But a little explaining on my part. I was brought up in a not so coed environment.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Brian1 said:


> I just googled it, and am reading a wikipedia article on Menstruation. Forget that I asked. If you don't want to reply, I just connected the dots, don't feel like you need, to I don't want to have people embarrassed.
> 
> But a little explaining on my part. I was brought up in a not so coed environment.


Oh, no - it is fine that you asked - I'm just appalled that women are so messy. 

I don't menstruate anymore (yay, me), but even when I did I wasn't gross about it. LOL


----------



## Brian1

I have to wash my hands a lot after I clean that, to disinfect any disease/virus/whatever dried blood carries, contracted from the blood.


----------



## Up and Away

Jennywocky said:


> Well, I would say the guy should be able to be "other-centered" without being self-absorbed -- a guy who can acknowledge himself as a person like anyone else, but who has that understanding in context of the other people around him.
> 
> And that kind of grounding will end up being part of his expression of pride... he can be aware of and proud in a good sense about his accomplishments and skills, but meanwhile he will also know his limits and weaknesses and be humble rather than overbearing about what he can and cannot do.
> 
> I like a guy who has quiet self-confidence enough to go after what he wants without trying to force things to happen a certain way. He also is self-aware enough to know what he basically wants, or knows how to proceed in order to figure out what he wants. Neither extreme of the "arrogant guy" or the "guy who debases himself" are guys I have much interest in, because both are rather self-absorbed... one thinks too highly of himself, and one thinks too lowly, and both are a drain on a relationship and end up taking rather than giving.


Aren't all introverts more self introverted absorbed?


----------



## petite libellule

iamawolf said:


> Aren't all introverts more self introverted absorbed?


*giggling* :kitteh: Nooooooooooooo  

-_- self awareness sounds better, lol!


----------



## petite libellule

Brian1 said:


> Is there a lot of uncontrollable bleeding when you use the bathroom, because I find a lot of blood stained tissues on the floor of the women's bathroom, everyday, I'm called to clean that bathroom more than the men's? Where's this blood coming from, can it be stopped?


:shocked: Where do you work?!

That's repulsive! lol! Oh Gross! :x

seriously, this is not normal.


----------



## Brian1

Ironically I work at a grocery store. Blood Spattered tissues in the women's bathroom, and food, people buy to eat. I'm not sure when health inspectors come to visit us, but we would be ripe for some type of violation, if this behavior isn't normal.


----------



## android654

This thread now makes me frown.

OH! I've got a question. What do you guys think about women who get body mods (tattoos, piercings, branding, etc.)?


----------



## pinkrasputin

android654 said:


> This thread now makes me frown.
> 
> OH! I've got a question. What do you guys think about women who get body mods (tattoos, piercings, branding, etc.)?


Are you asking guys or women what they think?


----------



## hela

android654 said:


> This thread now makes me frown.
> 
> OH! I've got a question. What do you guys think about women who get body mods (tattoos, piercings, branding, etc.)?


They're hot.


----------



## Snakecharmer

android654 said:


> This thread now makes me frown.
> 
> OH! I've got a question. What do you guys think about women who get body mods (tattoos, piercings, branding, etc.)?


I have a tattoo and had a nose piercing (I let it close a few years ago). I don't mind body mods as long as it isn't too over the top.


----------



## android654

pinkrasputin said:


> Are you asking guys or women what they think?


You guys. You know, the one's with the ovaries.


----------



## petite libellule

Brian1 said:


> Ironically I work at a grocery store. Blood Spattered tissues in the women's bathroom, and food, people buy to eat. I'm not sure when health inspectors come to visit us, but we would be ripe for some type of violation, if this behavior isn't normal.


That makes it all the more repulsive and NOT the normal. (at least not where I live!)

Blech!!!!

- I feel your pain ... I'd also suggest you NOT purchase food @ work


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> This thread now makes me frown.
> 
> OH! I've got a question. What do you guys think about women who get body mods (tattoos, piercings, branding, etc.)?


I think of men and women the same in this regard. I think if tats are done tastefully, or they're meaningful, I like them. In other words, not a fan of a bunch of random home made tats here and there, all over their body. But I knew a girl whose whole back was done, it was beautiful! and one of my friends whom I used to work with has sleeves, and it looks good on her, it's also beautiful work and works. I happen to really like piercings. I always wanted to get my eyebrow or nose done when I was younger. NOT a fan of the discs in the ears though (not sure what they're called) And branding? never met anyone with that. Not sure if I'd admire it as much as tattoos. 

I don't judge people who do these things. If it's ALL OVER, I wouldn't judge them as a bad person. But it would affect the impression they would be giving off. maybe it would say to me that they are more of a rebellious spirit, that they like it and don't allow other people to dictate what they can or can not do to their bodied, esp. if it's something they want/like. I must admit I'm not attracted to it though. The 2 cases I spoke of were on women. I haven't known men to have that many tattoos. I've typically been attracted to the type of man that can acclimate himself in different crowds if need be.


----------



## remMUS

Hi I'm a man...


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> NOT a fan of the discs in the ears though (not sure what they're called)


Gauges. 



> And branding? never met anyone with that. Not sure if I'd admire it as much as tattoos.


It looks like this.









They essentially burn your skin in the desired pattern and you develop scar tissue that covers the design. This person's is still fresh.


----------



## petite libellule

@_android654_ weirdly, I only saw the pic once I quote. otherwise, the pic isn't displaying in your OP. not sure if it's as attractive as tattoos I still wouldn't think anything bad about them. Maybe that they have a fetish for pain more than the average joe(tattooed guy). btw, your new sig has me mesmerized. my eyes went blurry from staring at it too long :tongue:


----------



## carlaviii

meltedsorbet said:


> Do you feel that you are more or less satisfied with your sexual experiences now, or when you were younger?


Having been, as I mentioned earlier, fat all of my life, my relationship with sex was unhealthy and/or miserable for many years. Some bad experiences reinforced my belief that as a fat girl, I had to settle for whatever I could get and it was never going to be better. 

What changed? It's both hard to put a finger on and too complicated and personal to go into here. Let's just say I got in touch with my anger. And I made peace with my fat body, at the same time. Being comfortable in your skin and, dare I say, confident, is sexy. Even in a fat, middle-aged woman.

I'm glad to say it's been good, the last year or so. Better than good: it's been fantastic. I know that sounds like bragging, but it's actually amazement.


----------



## WickerDeer

Would you ever want to wear a bee blouse? I kind of would.


----------



## hela

meltedsorbet said:


> Would you ever want to wear a bee blouse? I kind of would.


I think you're both too badass for me.


----------



## WickerDeer

carlaviii said:


> What changed? It's both hard to put a finger on and too complicated and personal to go into here. Let's just say I got in touch with my anger. And I made peace with my fat body, at the same time. Being comfortable in your skin and, dare I say, confident, is sexy. Even in a fat, middle-aged woman.
> 
> I'm glad to say it's been good, the last year or so. Better than good: it's been fantastic. I know that sounds like bragging, but it's actually amazement.


 I was wondering about this because I read some study, years ago, that said that women tended to enjoy sex more after they were in their forties (or something). Thanks for sharing!


----------



## WickerDeer

hela said:


> I think you're both too badass for me.


That's a good point--I never thought of the badassness of it. You could get some serious RESPECT with that bee blouse. Pepper spray doesn't even compare. XD


----------



## hela

meltedsorbet said:


> That's a good point--I never thought of the badassness of it. You could get some serious RESPECT with that bee blouse. Pepper spray doesn't even compare. XD


My mental image was of Boudica riding against the Romans, wearing only bees.


----------



## Up and Away

Ningsta Kitty said:


> *giggling* :kitteh: Nooooooooooooo
> 
> -_- self awareness sounds better, lol!


Shutup and marry me already.


----------



## petite libellule

iamawolf said:


> Shutup and marry me already.


Oh My!!! :blushed: 

but you haven't even bought me sushi!


----------



## Up and Away

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Oh My!!! :blushed:
> 
> but you haven't even bought me sushi!


Just say yes and don't complain  :*


----------



## petite libellule

iamawolf said:


> Just say yes and don't complain  :*


Don't complain? ... awwww, I don't complain. I pout :kitteh::tongue:


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Darn, I come to this thread and Ningsta Kitty was already proposed too ... I guess I missed my chance :tongue: 

Darn :tongue:



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Oh My!!! :blushed:
> 
> but you haven't even bought me sushi!


For some reason I was thinking that if someone does not like sushi, it should be a deal breaker for me :tongue: //jk (although, I really like sushi ... even more than a lot of other foods )


----------



## Up and Away

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Don't complain? ... awwww, I don't complain. I pout :kitteh::tongue:


You can do whatever you want AFTER you say yes, lol. (Not before- hint hint)


----------



## Mr. Meepers

iamawolf said:


> You can do whatever you want AFTER you say yes, lol. (Not before- hint hint)


You are going to let her do whatever she wants ... @iamawolf, marry me instead ... so I can rob a sushi house and eat all the evidence :tongue:


----------



## Up and Away

Mr. Meepers said:


> You are going to let her do whatever she wants ... @_iamawolf_, marry me instead ... so I can rob a sushi house and eat all the evidence :tongue:


Or maybe you just have a crush on ningsta kitty


----------



## petite libellule

Mr. Meepers said:


> You are going to let her do whatever she wants ... @_iamawolf_, marry me instead ... so I can rob a sushi house and eat all the evidence :tongue:


:laughing: I am* SO* smiling right now!


----------



## Zilchopincho

WOMEN OF PERSONALITY CAFE!

What do you think when men who approach you out of the blue and hit on you/talk to you because they think you're like so totally hawt?

Would you be flattered? Turned on? Genuinely interested? 

Also related, what do you think about society's expectation that men have to do all the courting?


----------



## carlaviii

KindOfBlue06 said:


> 1. What makes for good oral sex? (man going down on you) How long is too long? Do you prefer it during foreplay or just on it's own? What would you want a man to know before he goes down on you?


I don't mind receiving oral, but it's not a huge deal for me. For me, good = not too gentle. Fingers are welcome. I may be odd, this way, so... anyhow, "too long" is directly related to how well your style matches mine. If I start trying to coax you back up, that means "let's move on to something else". 



> 2. Do get overwhelmed when picking out makeup or clothes? When I went Christmas shopping for my sister and there were SO many different brands. I didn't know where to begin and I was kind of intimidated. XD Does this ever happen to you?
> 5. Have you ever called up a girlfriend for a FASHION EMERGENCY?


Since I'm fat, the fashion world pays no attention to me. Therefore, I feel no need to pay attention to fashion. I'm a no-frills kind of girl anyhow, so it works. 



> 3. Were you a tomboy or a girly girl growing up? Did you play with barbies?


I was a shy, nerdy, fat girl with minimal femininity. Wait, why am I saying "was"? And yet, I am solidly hetero, so go figure. 



> 4. Have you ever had a one night stand or a fuck buddy? What was your experience with it?


... (much debate about how much I want to say) 

I prefer to call it FWB (friends with benefits), because if the guy isn't at least interesting to me, the chemistry isn't going to be good enough to make the sex worthwhile. There were some one-nighters as I figured that out. I'm in a complicated situation so far as relationships go. Let's not make this into a tl;dr. Yes, I have FWBs and it's working out embarrassingly well.


----------



## hela

KindOfBlue06 said:


> More questions!
> 
> 1. What makes for good oral sex? (man going down on you) How long is too long? Do you prefer it during foreplay or just on it's own? What would you want a man to know before he goes down on you?


Just don't follow that stupid DO THE ABCS WITH YOUR TONGUE! ;D trick. Google has plenty of advice for you. I have a long list of things that come before oral on my priorities.



> 2. Do get overwhelmed when picking out makeup or clothes? When I went Christmas shopping for my sister and there were SO many different brands. I didn't know where to begin and I was kind of intimidated. XD Does this ever happen to you?


No



> 3. Were you a tomboy or a girly girl growing up? Did you play with barbies?


I spent most of my time outside wading in creeks and most of my time inside writing stories and haunting libraries. I wasn't girly at all. 



> 4. Have you ever had a one night stand or a fuck buddy? What was your experience with it?


It was pretty great



> 5. Have you ever called up a girlfriend for a FASHION EMERGENCY?


I am way too lazy to have a fashion emergency



Zilchopincho said:


> WOMEN OF PERSONALITY CAFE!
> 
> What do you think when men who approach you out of the blue and hit on you/talk to you because they think you're like so totally hawt?
> 
> Would you be flattered? Turned on? Genuinely interested?


Turned on, no. Flattered, no. Genuinely interested... occasionally. 



> Also related, what do you think about society's expectation that men have to do all the courting?


>Insert apathetic feminist rant about normative gender roles and how the patriarchy is harmful to both men and women here.< I'm too sick to give much of a shit atm, but I am sure there are others who will have strong feelings on this issue.


----------



## Zilchopincho

hela said:


> >Insert apathetic feminist rant about normative gender roles and how the patriarchy is harmful to both men and women here.< I'm too sick to give much of a shit atm, but I am sure there are others who will have strong feelings on this issue.


I'm just getting over my illness that comes once every two years or so, I feel your pain. But yeah, as a man, I would love it if a woman told me if I was attractive or handsome, dashing even. One of my friends friends apparently told my friend that I have a cute face. That's just about the only compliment I have gotten from a girl my age, a hot one at that! Point is, it made me feel nice.


----------



## hela

Zilchopincho said:


> I'm just getting over my illness that comes once every two years or so, I feel your pain. But yeah, as a man, I would love it if a woman told me if I was attractive or handsome, dashing even. One of my friends friends apparently told my friend that I have a cute face. That's just about the only compliment I have gotten from a girl my age, a hot one at that! Point is, it made me feel nice.


You have quite the dashing avatar.  

In all seriousness, though, I've heard that from a lot of shy/quiet guys. They often value being recognized, so I usually apply that tactic when pursuing them. Cocky guys like it too, but it's applied entirely differently with them.


----------



## petite libellule

Zilchopincho said:


> WOMEN OF PERSONALITY CAFE!
> 
> What do you think when men who approach you out of the blue and hit on you/talk to you because they think you're like so totally hawt?
> 
> Would you be flattered? Turned on? Genuinely interested?
> 
> Also related, what do you think about society's expectation that men have to do all the courting?


I think it would depend on the person, but I wouldn't come off angry or anything.
It would be received as a compliment at the very least.

And the courting thing? I think I prefer the guy to do the pursuing. I think I've been in situations where I knew the guy was wanting me to chase him. I hated it. Passionaltely hated it. It felt like a disturbed game of cat and mouse. If the guy likes me, and is "chasing/pursuing" me, then he lets me know by saying, "Hey. I like you. I want to get to know you more. How do you feel about that?" . then I would say I feel like that or not. And we go get to know each other by doing something. And if he wants to get to know me more, he let's me know by how much time he spends pursuing that want. 

Mind you, I am courting in my part of the court as well. By being flirty, and so on ... 

pretty much I bat my eyes like an adorable anime cartoon 

I think the gender role argument is blown out of proportion. Everything in balance people. It's a balance ... I'm heterosexual. I'm a little on the tough side but this is why I all the more want a guy to make me feel like I don't have to be tough. If that makes sense. I just want to feel comfortable and relax and to not worry. So I suppose I like the traditional courting style so as then I don't have to worry so much. (Not that I like that they worry about it either. I guess I'd be most compatible with a guy who is up for that challenge or likes that role or whatever) ...


----------



## petite libellule

hela said:


> You have quite the dashing avatar.
> 
> In all seriousness, though, I've heard that from a lot of shy/quiet guys. They often value being recognized, so I usually apply that tactic when pursuing them. Cocky guys like it too, but it's applied entirely differently with them.


so you do the pursuing? then why the angry tone rant stuff when men want to do the pursuing? it's individualistic. I probably mis read your post. I suppose I feel a little confused when it comes to the feminist position. I feel like people want to blur the gender roles, only so they can establish the roles they like. Also, I'm just thinking out loud I guess. I give men compliments all the time but I don't consider that pursuing ...

OK, QUESTION FOR WOMEN OF PER C ...

Explain (if at all possible) In a Nut Shell ... Explain what feminism means to you. Why is it important. Why do you think I feel put off by it. And why are some women drawn to it passionately. Also, It's not my intention to start an up rawer offend or anything. Just, crash course style, help me understand better


----------



## Jennywocky

Zilchopincho said:


> WOMEN OF PERSONALITY CAFE!
> What do you think when men who approach you out of the blue and hit on you/talk to you because they think you're like so totally hawt?


Mostly turned off because of how they approach me. It's not the approaching, it's how it is done.



> Would you be flattered? Turned on? Genuinely interested?


I'm slightly flattered that someone would be interested in hitting on me, but if it's a douche, then I'm annoyed because now I have to waste energy extracting myself.... and if he had been paying any attention to me, he should have figured out beforehand whether his approach would be effective or whether we even had anything in common worth pursuing. When we have nothing obvious in common, it comes off as just an attempt for a one-night stand.

I do better with some low-key come-on's, casual, self-deprecating, and a guy who actually seems interested in my responses and there is no pressure to respond to him in any way... that I can walk at any minute and he won't badger me.



> Also related, what do you think about society's expectation that men have to do all the courting?


I don't really care about the social standard. I don't really ever directly approach a guy and "hit on him," but I will definitely position myself around an interesting guy and try to engage him, to see if there is anything in common, and to put myself on his radar. I guess conventional dating is not really how my brain works or what I am into; I'm more into meeting someone while actually doing something we both like or being at a place we both like; communicating; and seeing if anything comes out of it. I don't start with a goal of, "I need to win this man over tonight."

I think the social concept of "male initiate all courting" can be dumb if it is not helping the people it is supposed to bring together. For example, if a woman really is into a guy, why should she be pretending she's not, and just being entirely passive about it? She needs to at least be giving him cues so that he knows there's a chance.

At the same time, I think there's more of a tendency for a guy to want to just score for a night, and so while the man is vulnerable to being rejected outright by being refused a date, there's more chance for a woman to be hit on, used for sex with seeming possibility for more, then dropped. A man is more typically used for his power or money, I suppose. So both genders can be used, but for whatever reason the "being used for sex" and risking pregnancy and whatever else seems a bigger blow. A guy might be out $25 if a date doesn't turn out as planned, or just is told "no" and never gets the date, which seems lesser to me.

I think women let men initiate to help them feel more powerful (even if technically the woman has more power, because she gets to say yes or no, but the man is actively chasing after his fate), and to make sure the guy is really interested so she doesn't invest her heart in someone who doesn't even care. That's just a general comment, though; there is a spectrum of women's personality here and not all require that approach.


----------



## hela

Ningsta Kitty said:


> so you do the pursuing? then why the angry tone rant stuff when men want to do the pursuing? it's individualistic. I probably mis read your post. I suppose I feel a little confused when it comes to the feminist position. I feel like people want to blur the gender roles, only so they can establish the roles they like. Also, I'm just thinking out loud I guess. I give men compliments all the time but I don't consider that pursuing ...


It's about half and half. I'm not sure where I sounded angry about men wanting to pursue women (???) in that comment. I'm indifferent to individual preferences regarding sexual pursuit, it's just that, as you said--they should be individual. Not societally enforced. With regard to blurring gender roles, the point would be not to have normative gender roles at all, so that the individual can do what's best for themselves without societal pressure to perform according to x or y.


----------



## Snakecharmer

redmanXNTP said:


> Let's liven this up a bit.


:wink:




redmanXNTP said:


> What was the most surprisingly and enjoyable thing a partner has done to/for you during sex?


I briefly dated a much younger guy several years ago (he was 25, I was 35) and he made me er...squirt. :shocked: I don't want to go into detail, but I'd never experienced it before then. It felt incredible and different than a clitoral orgasm...but there was a lot of fluid, so we thought I wet the bed at first. :laughing: The conversation went something like this:

Me: Oh. What just happened?
Him: Um...I'm not sure...did you...pee? 
Me: Not sure...didn't feel like it...felt amazing, though...I think I...ejaculated or something
Him: ALRIGHT! roud:

And so on. Would have made a very comical scene in a movie. 



redmanXNTP said:


> Do you experience some pain during sex as being pleasurable? This seems to be more typically a trait of women than of men.


YES. 



redmanXNTP said:


> When (not "if" - everyone's had it happen to them) and where were you when someone walked in on you during sex?


*horrible memory flashback* In college - a boyfriend lived with his older sister and her husband...we were in the laundry room on the floor at like 3 am...and his sister opened the door. He kicked it shut and she freaked out. Oops. I never went to their house again.


----------



## Jennywocky

@_KindOfBlue06_

*2. Do get overwhelmed when picking out makeup or clothes? When I went Christmas shopping for my sister and there were SO many different brands. I didn't know where to begin and I was kind of intimidated. XD Does this ever happen to you?*

Yes. Especially with makeup. There are so many brands and ways to do things (for example, you can do hard eyeliner, liquid eyeliner, soft smeary eyeliner, and all different colors, and somehow it must all be matched up with other colors on your face... and now remember that we have eye shadow, foundation, powder, blush, lipstick, lipgloss, eyebrow liner, etc)... and makeup can be expensive depending on what you buy. It is an expensive experiment. I'm still learning.

This is why women's magazines and websites are actually helpful. many provide decent templates for colors and brands and combinations to try, right out of the box, so that you don't waste time and money making mistake after mistake. There is a method to our madness.

*3. Were you a tomboy or a girly girl growing up? Did you play with barbies?*

I was kind of andro growing up. I was not much into dolls or playing house or dancing; but I also wasn't into boy stuff really either. I did like to ride my bike alot, and I liked climbing trees, and I liked exploring the countryside since I grew up in a very rural area. I was very much an explorer. I did like writing and story-telling and drawing and artsy things, including poetry and music.I always thought Barbies were kind of silly because they didn't look normal.

I'm a weird mix nowadays. I don't like getting dirty (especially with mud or sand), but i don't mind sweating at all. I will drive cars fast, I've shot guns a few times and enjoyed it, I can enjoy sports although I only watch them with sportsy friends, I like first-person shooter videogames and some types of competing even if they aren't my favorite genres, etc. I like to wear makeup and dresses, but I also tend to wear a lot of jeans and snickers and t-shirts. I like jewelry... just not jewelry that is too expensive or gets in my way. I don't like to mess up my hair, although I still like feeling it blow around when driving fast on the highway.

*4. Have you ever had a one night stand or a fuck buddy? What was your experience with it?*

The first time I had sex, it was as part of a menage a trois. It was a looooong time ago. But typically no, I'm not into that. I got married in my 20's and that was my only sex partner until my separation five years ago, and I've only had sex with one other person since then, and it was a serious relationship.

*5. Have you ever called up a girlfriend for a FASHION EMERGENCY?*

LOL!!! No, I do not call my girlfriends for help. But when I go to work and feel unsure, I'll ask their opinion on outfit or makeup, and I've had them either volunteer help (like if something got smudged that I didn't realize) or ask me for advice.


----------



## redmanXNTP

Snakecharmer said:


> I briefly dated a much younger guy several years ago (he was 25, I was 35) and he made me er...squirt. :shocked: I don't want to go into detail, but I'd never experienced it before then. It felt incredible and different than a clitoral orgasm...but there was a lot of fluid, so we thought I wet the bed at first. :laughing: The conversation went something like this:
> 
> Me: Oh. What just happened?
> Him: Um...I'm not sure...did you...pee?
> Me: Not sure...didn't feel like it...felt amazing, though...I think I...ejaculated or something
> Him: ALRIGHT! roud:
> 
> And so on. Would have made a very comical scene in a movie.


I think we've found your new nickname. 

Squirting/gushing is definitely strange if you've never experienced it before, but from what I've gathered it's the very pinnacle of orgasms for a woman. Seems to me like you and your partner have to have anatomical conformity that's just right (the proverbial "hand in glove") and causes the penis to hit just the right part of, well, something inside the woman, and the woman also has to be very relaxed and comfortable with herself and her partner.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

KindOfBlue06 said:


> More questions!
> 
> 1. What makes for good oral sex? (man going down on you) How long is too long? Do you prefer it during foreplay or just on it's own? What would you want a man to know before he goes down on you? I want to answer this, but I don't at the same time...a little too personal for public forum format for me
> 
> 2. Do get overwhelmed when picking out makeup or clothes? When I went Christmas shopping for my sister and there were SO many different brands. I didn't know where to begin and I was kind of intimidated. XD Does this ever happen to you? I don't really get overwhelmed shopping because of the products; I get overwhelmed by too many people during busy seasons.
> 
> 3. Were you a tomboy or a girly girl growing up? Did you play with barbies? Both; I was a girlie girl and tomboy in one. I would climb a tree in a dress, play Barbies, then go pretend fishing in the ditch near my house.
> 
> 4. Have you ever had a one night stand or a fuck buddy? What was your experience with it? No, no, and n/a.
> 
> 5. Have you ever called up a girlfriend for a FASHION EMERGENCY?



No. I've had a fashion emergency, but I just ask my Husband what to do. He stays calm and makes suggestions that I usually reject at first, but then end up doing exactly what he suggested after I have a little bit of a freak out moment. Sometimes, all it takes is for him to say "it's going to be fine, you'll come up with something" and I do.


----------



## Snakecharmer

KindOfBlue06 said:


> More questions!
> 
> 
> 
> KindOfBlue06 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 1. What makes for good oral sex? (man going down on you) How long is too long? Do you prefer it during foreplay or just on it's own? What would you want a man to know before he goes down on you?
> 
> 
> 
> Oral is good anytime, before sex, after, whatever. LOL I like it down sort of slowly...okay, yeah...too shy to answer this. LOL
> 
> 
> 
> KindOfBlue06 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 2. Do get overwhelmed when picking out makeup or clothes? When I went Christmas shopping for my sister and there were SO many different brands. I didn't know where to begin and I was kind of intimidated. XD Does this ever happen to you?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> I hate shopping. I dislike most of what is available and have been thinking about designing my own clothes for years. I don't wear much makeup - just liquid eyeliner and eyelash extensions (instead of mascara) and occasionally lip gloss.
> 
> 
> 
> KindOfBlue06 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 3. Were you a tomboy or a girly girl growing up? Did you play with barbies?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> A bit of both. I had Barbies, but didn't really like the dolls - I liked setting up the Dream House, though.
> 
> 
> 
> KindOfBlue06 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 4. Have you ever had a one night stand or a fuck buddy? What was your experience with it?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Heh. Yes to both. The one night stand was after a Halloween party. We had a GREAT time - I think we did almost everything I'm comfortable with that night. :laughing: Having a f*ck buddy is fine, as long as there are ground rules.
> 
> 
> 
> KindOfBlue06 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 5. Have you ever called up a girlfriend for a FASHION EMERGENCY?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> NO. LOL
Click to expand...


----------



## Jennywocky

carlaviii said:


> Lube, lube, lube. You want thick, effective lube. Not hand lotion, baby oil is kinda marginal, Vaseline works well but only if you aren't using a condom (vaseline damages condoms.) I have a big tube of Astro Glide. Use plenty of lube and take your time. Start with small things, especially if you're new to this.


Agreed. I have lubricating jelly. it's good to be liberal, not skimpy.



> There may still be some mess. Soap and water will take care of that, unless you're suffering from dysentery or cholera or something, in which case why were you...?


I haven't really experienced much "mess" with it, but I'm very regular and don't really have anything down there between. It's as clean as clean goes for that body area, I suppose.



> Anal sex is about 80% psychological, IMO. It's very much about trust and surrender, being dirty and naughty and such. Rushing, or trying it with someone you don't entirely trust/want to surrender to, will make enjoying it difficult. So if you're on the giving side of this, be worthy of the trust.


When I've talked about it with female friends who hate it / won't do it, it's usually because "it's only supposed to be one-way!" and they're usually, well, anal-retentive. *doh* One has to be open, mentally and physically, and trusting of the process. One needs to relax and accept something inside. But totally agree, you have to trust your partner to go carefully, give you time to adjust, stop if you start putting out pain cues, etc. The thing is, it can also feel very good.

@redmanXNTP

*What was the most surprisingly and enjoyable thing a partner has done to/for you during sex? *

The most bizarre thing that felt good was having my toes sucked. I was shocked at how good it felt, even if it felt kind of weird for him to put my toes in his mouth. Sucking on my fingers also felt good, just not quite as much.

And since Hela admitted it, I'll also admit that I was shocked at how good being rimmed felt -- it's just that I kept flipping between, "OMG THAT FEELS SO GOOD!" and then "OMG HE'S LICKING THAT??" and back and forth the entire time. My brain just didn't know what to do with it.

i also like to be handled during sex. I'm an active responder, but I like to have something to "push" against or play off. Hold me down, push me against the wall, whatever. Don't give me a black eye (although that would make a great story, "Uh, no, Mom, I banged my head on, uh, the door handle by accident"), but otherwise...

*Do you experience some pain during sex as being pleasurable? This seems to be more typically a trait of women than of men.*

Yes, I find a bit of pain during sex to be pleasurable. I mean, there is a threshold where it is just pain and I don't like that, but I also like rough sex -- afterwards I might be sore, but during it, it feels good and I like the body contact. I mean, really, there's going to be a bit of pain, with something pounding into you, especially if you're still tight. But it can feel good, like stretching but moreso. And endorphins are our friend.

*When (not "if" - everyone's had it happen to them) and where were you when someone walked in on you during sex?*

I have been kind of careful so I haven't really ever been caught, but I was not with an extremely daring partner; I hope to be a little riskier in the future, it's kind of fun. 

In college, I had sex in my room with the door locked, and I had friends who would come up and knock and call my name, and we had to stop and pretend to not be there until they left their message on the door board and walked off. And I've had sex standing up in the woods before, where people have come walking nearby and we narrowly avoided being seen. 

On my honeymoon, we had sex standing in neck-high water offshore a little ways (from behind) so it looked like we were just standing there, but... well... That's about as daring as it got -- just those handful of incidents.


----------



## Snakecharmer

redmanXNTP said:


> I think we've found your new nickname.
> 
> Squirting/gushing is definitely strange if you've never experienced it before, but from what I've gathered it's the very pinnacle of orgasms for a woman. Seems to me like you and your partner have to have anatomical conformity that's just right (the proverbial "hand in glove") and causes the penis to hit just the right part of, well, something inside the woman, and the woman also has to be very relaxed and comfortable with herself and her partner.


One of my friends used to call me "Old Faithful". :laughing:

He used his fingers to make it happen, while I was in doggy position...he was behind me. That fella knew what he was doing and was damn proud of himself. Maybe I should look him up...:kitteh:

Yep - hitting the g-spot will do it. My last boyfriend was very good at hitting it during sex. His size might have had something to do with it too. :tongue:


----------



## carlaviii

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Explain (if at all possible) In a Nut Shell ... Explain what feminism means to you. Why is it important. Why do you think I feel put off by it. And why are some women drawn to it passionately. Also, It's not my intention to start an up rawer offend or anything. Just, crash course style, help me understand better


Nutshell: feminism means that women and men are equally important (though physically and mentally different) and should be treated equally under the law. 

Full stop. 

If I need to explain why it's important to not be legally and culturally discriminated against... I may not be the right person for that job. 

It seems to me, based solely on my own observations, that people get turned off by the forcefulness of some feminists and by how they seem obsessed with certain issues. Reproductive rights, for example. I think it should be borne in mind that forcefulness and obsession are _required_ if you're going to make huge social changes -- such as the concept that women are equal to men. 

I think we've forgotten, by and large, how bad it used to be. Back when the first wave of feminists were trying to prove women were not idiots and should not be treated like children all their lives. I thank God that we're in a position to forget that sort of thing. 

People are passionate because there's still work to be done on the equality front. And while some feminist concepts have taken root in society, they're not invulnerable. They need defending.

In the interests of keeping it short, I'll stop there.


----------



## redmanXNTP

carlaviii said:


> Nutshell: feminism means that women and men are equally important (though physically and mentally different) and should be treated equally under the law.
> 
> Full stop.
> 
> If I need to explain why it's important to not be legally and culturally discriminated against... I may not be the right person for that job.
> 
> It seems to me, based solely on my own observations, that people get turned off by the forcefulness of some feminists and by how they seem obsessed with certain issues. Reproductive rights, for example. I think it should be borne in mind that forcefulness and obsession are _required_ if you're going to make huge social changes -- such as the concept that women are equal to men.
> 
> I think we've forgotten, by and large, how bad it used to be. Back when the first wave of feminists were trying to prove women were not idiots and should not be treated like children all their lives. I thank God that we're in a position to forget that sort of thing.
> 
> People are passionate because there's still work to be done on the equality front. And while some feminist concepts have taken root in society, they're not invulnerable. They need defending.
> 
> *In the interests of keeping it short, I'll stop there.*


Much appreciated. I know how you women can go on and on.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Zilchopincho said:


> WOMEN OF PERSONALITY CAFE!
> 
> What do you think when men who approach you out of the blue and hit on you/talk to you because they think you're like so totally hawt?
> 
> Would you be flattered? Turned on? Genuinely interested?
> 
> Also related, what do you think about society's expectation that men have to do all the courting?


I don't mind when people talk to me. It is their approach that determines if I'm going to respond or make a sarcastic comment and walk away. I can't stand that "Heeeeyyy baby yer hot" kind of junk. No.

Is that still an expectation? No one told me. 

lol


----------



## hela

redmanXNTP said:


> Much appreciated. I know how you women can go on and on.


Oh, you.


----------



## JaySH

Yes for looks but...when he spoke it was obviously not him.....absolutely obnoxious.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Jennywocky said:


> Let's see: It's a Saturday night, and here I am sitting home alone in my PJs, rather cold, bored, and meh -- typing on the Internet.
> 
> So hell, yeah!!


*swoon*


----------



## hela

Snakecharmer said:


> *swoon*


I wish they would make him the voice for Siri


----------



## petite libellule

Snakecharmer said:


> *swoon*


 :laughing: LOL! Omg! seriously? He does it for you?! 

I can't passed the Harry Potter-ish-ness of him


----------



## petite libellule

hela said:


> I wish they would make him the voice for Siri


 Now THAT I'd be happy with :kitteh:


----------



## JaySH

Snakecharmer said:


> *swoon*


i liked "Yippy Ki-ay motherfucker" much better


----------



## Snakecharmer

Ningsta Kitty said:


> :laughing: LOL! Omg! seriously? He does it for you?!
> 
> I can't passed the Harry Potter-ish-ness of him


Oooh yeah BABY! I love him in HP! F*ckin Professor Snape...RAWR! lol


*drinking wine here *hiccup**


----------



## Jennywocky

JaySH said:


> Yes for looks but...when he spoke it was obviously not him.....absolutely obnoxious.


I thought he was amusing... but loud.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> :laughing: LOL! Omg! seriously? He does it for you?!
> 
> I can't passed the Harry Potter-ish-ness of him


LOL! He existed before Harry Potter, you know!!




Ningsta Kitty said:


> YEAH! I thought it was him, turned on the video and couldn't make it pass 12 seconds. Lol!


Flashbacks to Pitt in 12 Monkeys... lol. Except his eyes weren't crossed.


----------



## Resolution

I belong to stereotype X. If you belong to stereotype Y, please ask me anything about my ideas on stereotype X and Y, from the perspective of stereotype X! 

Oh, how enlightening :laughing:


----------



## 7rr7s

Reading this thread makes staying at home on a Saturday night not that depressing. XD 

Time for some more questions:

1. If you could live in any era, which one would you live in?

2. What one of your senses could you not live with? 

3. This one is for @_Ningsta Kitty_ : SUPERMAN OR BATMAN?!?

4. What's the worst date you've ever been on? What about the best one?


----------



## 2eng

Jennywocky said:


> Let's see: It's a Saturday night, and here I am sitting home alone in my PJs, rather cold, bored, and meh -- typing on the Internet.
> 
> So hell, yeah!!
> 
> EDIT: Did anyone else think that guy in the video kind of looks and sounds like Brad Pitt with long hair?


I did not watch it to hear his voice but he looks a little like Russel Brand to me. Can anyone else see it or am I just crazy?


----------



## All in Twilight

Could you give me a list of do's and dont's? Just make the list as long as you feel like. 

I am not sure if my question has been asked before here. If so, feel free to just give me the page number (or page number estimation) if you can remember the page.

Thanks!


----------



## downsowf

my next idea will incorporate the voice of Rickman with a vibrator. i'm wondering what i could do with this. ooh…what about a vibrator that hums something by Rickman? i'm trying to capitalize on all this info on here.


----------



## Jennywocky

@_KindOfBlue06_

*1. If you could live in any era, which one would you live in?*

Not sure. Either the future, or in Egypt 1000 BC. Or around Shakespeare times.

*2. What one of your senses could you not live with[out]? *

(I'm answering the question I thought you meant -- see correction.)

Hearing. Not that I want to part with touch or sight. But I've actually considered this question before, when trying to figure out whether I'd rather lose my sight or my hearing -- and the answer is that it's much more convenient to be able to see, but without my hearing the world is a DEAD place... a silent movie. I don't know why, but for me sounds are life far more than sight is. Sight without hearing is dead; hearing without sight is still alive. I can't imagine a silent world.

*SUPERMAN OR BATMAN?!?*

Probably Batman, he's more complex -- it's just nowadays he's too popularized. But there's been some interesting revisions of Superman, and I'm interested in seeing what they do with him in Man of Steel. 

*4. What's the worst date you've ever been on?*

I would like to say "flesh-eating bacteria" guy, but the worst probably was one I went on when I was in my early 20's, and my date just kept talking about the ex the entire night and bemoaning the loss of that relationship. Like WTF??? I don't know how I managed to be so patient and sympathetic; I should have walked out. Never went out again with that person.

*What about the best one?*

Probably when, before we got married, my ex took me flying for 45 minutes in an airplane. I had never been flying before, and I was amazed by how tiny and yet clear everything was, and I could see all the land formations.


----------



## Jennywocky

downsowf said:


> my next idea will incorporate the voice of Rickman with a vibrator. i'm wondering what i could do with this. ooh…what about a vibrator that hums something by Rickman? i'm trying to capitalize on all this info on here.


Probably it would be best to market a vibrator that had small pop-in-cartridges in the base, so you could just buy voice modules and pop in the one you wanted. A whole slew of voiceovers could be purchased. I think you are onto something big here.



2eng said:


> I did not watch it to hear his voice but he looks a little like Russel Brand to me. Can anyone else see it or am I just crazy?


I thought Pitt moreso, but I can understand why you thought Russell Brand



Btmangan said:


> I belong to stereotype X. If you belong to stereotype Y, please ask me anything about my ideas on stereotype X and Y, from the perspective of stereotype X!
> 
> Oh, how enlightening :laughing:



Oh come on, I know you want to play too! 


srsly, though, it's just a framework that provides easy excuse for people to make conversation, sometimes on topics that people don't feel comfortable asking questions about. Surely you can see that that's more what is going on here, rather than that any definitive answers can be given for a particular X(X) or X(Y).


----------



## downsowf

Jennywocky said:


> Probably it would be best to market a vibrator that had small pop-in-cartridges in the base, so you could just buy voice modules and pop in the one you wanted. A whole slew of voiceovers could be purchased. I think you are onto something big here.


This is ENTP/INTP collaboration at its finest.


----------



## Jennywocky

downsowf said:


> This is ENTP/INTP collaboration at its finest.


Now we just need an ESFP to promote it and and an ISTJ to do the accounting. *cough*


----------



## hela

KindOfBlue06 said:


> 4. What's the worst date you've ever been on? What about the best one?


I was going to answer your other questions, but @Jennywocky took all of my answers. Definitely the future, though.

Worst: When my partner at the time decided to wage PA warfare over dinner because of something I had said that I wasn't aware was an issue. I wouldn't classify it as awful, though. I haven't had any awful dates, I can usually find something amusing/good about them.

Best: We went to a haunted house and then talked and drove all night through upstate NY until we ended up at a cabin off of Lake Ontario.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Okay, so how do women (or at least the ones that answer this question) feel about sharing food with an SO at a restaurant? I mean like each partner setting aside a small portion of their dish so the other person could try it (tasting two meals each ^__^). Do you like to share OR do you like sticking to just what you ordered and telling your SO to step away from your food  ... Or does do you just like to share occasionally?






Ningsta Kitty said:


> @_INFJigsaw_ Thank you too!  I don't know why I didn't get your quote notification :/
> 
> ANOTHER QUESTION:
> 
> Do you think being sensitive is a gender thing or more of a type thing.
> I'm thinking it's more of a type thing.
> 
> Now when I say sensitive, I don't mean sitting on the pitty potty (oh woe is me!) no.
> I mean, someone is being 'not nice' and that that might be bothersome. So type thing, or girl thing?



By "sensitive" do you mean attune to what people are feeling? And knowing what someone might be more bothered by ... and noticing underlying emotional meaning?

Basically how this thread describes sensitivity (there are only 8 posts):
http://personalitycafe.com/infp-forum-idealists/109682-nature-sensitivity-very-misunderstood.html


----------



## petite libellule

I just caught up a little on this fast moving thread.

Can I just point out just how much COOLER the ask a woman thread is compared to the ask the man thread?

:tongue: <-- token silly face for those grumpy guys out there


----------



## searcheagle

Ningsta Kitty said:


> I just caught up a little on this fast moving thread.
> 
> Can I just point out just how much COOLER the ask a woman thread is compared to the ask the man thread?
> 
> :tongue: <-- token silly face for those grumpy guys out there


I think that's because the men are much better at asking questions than the women are. :tongue:


----------



## Mr. Meepers

searcheagle said:


> I think that's because the men are much better at asking questions than the women are. :tongue:


I thought it was because women are more interesting and sexier


----------



## Snakecharmer

downsowf said:


> This is ENTP/INTP collaboration at its finest.


Okay, so this is funny...

A few weeks ago I had a hilarious conversation on FB with my INTP friend.

We were talking about vibrators and dildos for some reason. Don't ask...I don't know. lol

Here is the conversation - thankfully I didn't delete it:

HIM: maybe it would be good to have like a deep voice that said, on each thrust, FUCK THE SHIT OUT YOU, YEAH BABY, YOU LIKE THAT

like those old GI JOe dolls with the string. 


ME: like a MR T voice

HIM: could have a switch too, go frenchie if you want.... ma baa bee,

or for those disturbed people, a date rape voice...

I know you want it, im the fucking quarterback, don't cry

that would fit the big dildo better

is that invention show still on?

ME: I dare you

HIM: I'd like to present CUMPHONICS talking dildo!

you could download new voices like a tom tom GPS

ME: you know what? you'd probably be a millionaire. Go on Shark Tank to pitch it

seriously. I think it is brilliant. Spencers would sell it


HIM: dildos are a good product, no one ever returns that stuff I'd bet

You know, Morgan Freeman didn't really sound like he does in the car commercial, was it really him?


ME: can you imagine working there, and someone tries to return a dildo

i don't know, but Morgan Freeman needs to be the voice of the CUMPHONIC

HIM: Oh man, Darth Vader for the nerd girls

The FORCE is strong in your *****, I am your fah-dah


HIM: Love your favorite rock band but don't have the time or circumstance to be a groupie. No problem. Cumphonics has all the major singers in our line up. Choose from Elvis, Kid Rock, Chris Brown (with complementary beating), Prince. Want to be the one woman to change Michael Jackson, heee heee heee, we got him! Cumphonics! 1-800-...

ME: LMAO. you'd have to offer customized voices too

HIM: Husband going away for a while, and still newleyweds, well just have him call 1-800-CUM-FONE and we'll have a customized dildo overnighted to you residence. Have more time, then order a plaster cast kit and the dildo will be just like your husband, even better cuz it will stay harder longer.

HIM: imagine the potential for creepiness

Cumphonics - Imagine the Samuel L Jackson version "holy shit Motherfucker"

you need Arnold too "I"ll be back, I'm back, I'll be back, I'm back I'll be back I'm back"

"Can you smell what the ROck is cookin'? Can you smell what the ROck is cookin"



...and then the conversation changed to chicken pox, shingles and pneumonia shots.


----------



## searcheagle

Mr. Meepers said:


> I thought it was because women are more interesting and sexier


Shhhh...... You can't let those secrets get out.....:frustrating:


----------



## petite libellule

All in Twilight said:


> Could you give me a list of do's and dont's? Just make the list as long as you feel like.
> 
> I am not sure if my question has been asked before here. If so, feel free to just give me the page number (or page number estimation) if you can remember the page.
> 
> Thanks!


Do's and Don't(s) depends on the type of person you want to attract. 

Keeping that in mind, for the sake of simplicity, I recommend the following approved reads ...

Top 10: Traits Of A Real Man - AskMen

http://www.youmightbeadouchebagif.com/

and remember ...

*JUST because you HAVE a dick, doesn't mean you have to BE a dick ... *

remember that, and you're all good


----------



## downsowf

@Snakecharmer

Fuck Feynman and Einstein. We're trying to revolutionize the vibrator here. It is a good idea though.


----------



## petite libellule

@Snakecharmer That is hysterical! :laughing:


----------



## All in Twilight

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Do's and Don't(s) depends on the type of person you want to attract.
> 
> Keeping that in mind, for the sake of simplicity, I recommend the following approved reads ...
> 
> Top 10: Traits Of A Real Man - AskMen
> 
> http://www.youmightbeadouchebagif.com/
> 
> and remember ...
> 
> *JUST because you HAVE a dick, doesn't mean you have to BE a dick ... *
> 
> remember that, and you're all good


I don't want to attract anyone, I was just curious so I was looking for personality traits a woman appreciates in a man but it doesn't need to involve romance. Anyway, it seems like I am not a real man. *cries and storms off*


----------



## petite libellule

KindOfBlue06 said:


> I will have to think of your questions for a little. but for now ...
> 
> 3. This one is for @_Ningsta Kitty_ : SUPERMAN OR BATMAN?!?


 Do I HAVE to choose??? Can't I just get into Poly?  lol!


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Do's and Don't(s) depends on the type of person you want to attract.
> 
> Keeping that in mind, for the sake of simplicity, I recommend the following approved reads ...
> 
> Top 10: Traits Of A Real Man - AskMen
> 
> http://www.youmightbeadouchebagif.com/
> 
> and remember ...
> 
> *JUST because you HAVE a dick, doesn't mean you have to BE a dick ... *
> 
> remember that, and you're all good



_*Trait No. 8: A real man doesn't look like a woman*_
_A real man doesn't have piercings and long hair, and he doesn't shave his chest. Manicures, however, are acceptable. Massages from female attendants are also tolerated. A real man knows that,* outside of his barber, all his personal hygiene needs must be taken care of by a woman.*_

Does this mean I'm not allowed to clean myself in the shower?!?!  .... Um Ningsta Kitty ... I was hoping to get clean, would you like to take care of my needs in the shower :wink: ... :shocked: ... :tongue:

...

Okay, I feel dirty after saying that lol


----------



## petite libellule

Mr. Meepers said:


> Okay, I feel dirty after saying that lol


 :blushed:


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Ningsta Kitty said:


> :blushed:


I'll take that as a maybe? 

Oh, wait.
*hands you a plate of sushi*


----------



## Snakecharmer

KindOfBlue06 said:


> Reading this thread makes staying at home on a Saturday night not that depressing. XD


I agree!



KindOfBlue06 said:


> Time for some more questions:


 :happy:



KindOfBlue06 said:


> 1. If you could live in any era, which one would you live in?


The 1940s. I'm not really a girly-girl, but I love pin-up girl style and the glamorous look women had in the 40s.

11 Tips on How to Be a Glamorous 1940s Femme Fatale - wikiHow



KindOfBlue06 said:


> 2. What one of your senses could you not live with?


Taste. That might actually benefit me - no more Nutella cravings! :laughing:



KindOfBlue06 said:


> 3. This one is for @_Ningsta Kitty_ : SUPERMAN OR BATMAN?!?


BATMAN, as played by Christian Bale. 



KindOfBlue06 said:


> 4. What's the worst date you've ever been on? What about the best one?


The worst date I can remember was in high school. Our date was planned for Friday night, but he didn't show up. Saturday night comes around, and guess who is knocking on my door?  I'm surprised we survived that night - he was a CRAZY driver and I was praying for my life (and I'm an atheist).

The best so far was with a guy I met on OkCupid (!!!!) two years ago. We went for coffee, then a walk downtown, then dinner and open mic (poetry reading) at a Caribbean restaurant.


----------



## redmanXNTP

downsowf said:


> my next idea will incorporate the voice of Rickman with a vibrator. i'm wondering what i could do with this. ooh…what about a vibrator that hums something by Rickman? i'm trying to capitalize on all this info on here.


Yeah, but I think you lose a lot of effect of Rickman's voice if all he's doing is making motorboat sounds.


----------



## redmanXNTP

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Can I just point out just how much COOLER the ask a woman thread is compared to the ask the man thread?
> 
> :tongue: <-- token silly face for those grumpy guys out there


----------



## Wellsy

Have you ever used a nerf gun as a tampon applicator? If not, why the fuck not? LIVE A LITTLE 

Ever surprised your partner when they got home from work by laying the seductive skills on pretty heavy?

Stockings comfortable to wear? Pros and cons.

Got any stories of an individual being creepy that is amusing?

Do you think the modern man is significantly different in some aspects than to a young man decades ago, well your experience with the opposite sex at least 18 years ago.


----------



## Zilchopincho

hela said:


> You have quite the dashing avatar.
> 
> In all seriousness, though, I've heard that from a lot of shy/quiet guys. They often value being recognized, so I usually apply that tactic when pursuing them. Cocky guys like it too, but it's applied entirely differently with them.


This thread is so fast.

My Avatar has got nothing on my jawline. Anyways, the difference I think between pursuing cocky guys and quiet guys is praise vs. compliments.


----------



## Zilchopincho

Ningsta Kitty said:


> I think the gender role argument is blown out of proportion. Everything in balance people. It's a balance ... I'm heterosexual. I'm a little on the tough side but this is why I all the more want a guy to make me feel like I don't have to be tough. If that makes sense. I just want to feel comfortable and relax and to not worry. So I suppose I like the traditional courting style so as then I don't have to worry so much. (Not that I like that they worry about it either. I guess I'd be most compatible with a guy who is up for that challenge or likes that role or whatever) ...


To each his/her own. I'm not a big proponent on the whole thing, I just think that a lot of people get too caught up in it. Personally, I don't go out and approach women I don't know. I've never wanted to really and I don't think I'm quite ready to be in a relationship yet. I'm looking for marriage material anyways.
@Jennywocky


> Mostly turned off because of how they approach me. It's not the approaching, it's how it is done.


So what would be a pleasing way of being approached?
@Snakecharmer


> I don't mind when people talk to me. It is their approach that determines if I'm going to respond or make a sarcastic comment and walk away. I can't stand that "Heeeeyyy baby yer hot" kind of junk. No.
> 
> Is that still an expectation? No one told me.
> 
> lol


I totally get disliking the approach with no tact. Plus it seems like you know what you want anyways, which is an attractive quality.


----------



## JaySH

All in Twilight said:


> I don't want to attract anyone, I was just curious so I was looking for personality traits a woman appreciates in a man but it doesn't need to involve romance. Anyway, it seems like I am not a real man. *cries and storms off*


That list, " Top ten traits....", is BS, sorry. There's a user comment after the article that is much better, in my eyes. My iPad wont let me "copy" it so, I'll be back with an edit to include it.


----------



## All in Twilight

JaySH said:


> That list is BS, sorry. There's a user comment after the article that is much better, in my eyes. My iPad wont let me "copy" it so, I'll be back with an edit to include it.


Like I care what a real man is, as long as my SO is hot.


----------



## JaySH

Ningsta Kitty said:


> In Quote ...
> 
> Which leads me to a question as well.
> 
> 
> Since there is no "Victor's Secret", what can us men do to dress up for a women in the bedroom that you'd find sexy?
> 
> 
> Silk boxers? (Hello wedgies)
> 
> 
> The penile towel rod? (That's sexy, right?)
> 
> 
> *What the hell is THAT?! -_- sounds painful
> 
> Man takes shower. Woman is in bed. Man gets out of shower thinking about woman said woman in bed. Man is horny and it shows. Man takes the towel he didn't dry himself off with and drapes over his fully erect penis and walks in to greet woman in bed...hoping she thinks it's cute and unveils it
> 
> p.s. never done this...just heard about it on a Jeff Foxworthy skit...yeah...you might be a *******...lol*
> 
> 
> A dress shirt with nothing else (it works for women to arouse men
> 
> 
> Good to know. I'll have to thing about that, I think it depends on the occasion.
> 
> 
> Cowboy boots and nothing else...wait...cowboy boots with spurs
> 
> 
> Ummm I kinda like the cowboy thing, lol!
> 
> 
> And, in terms of grooming, what do you prefer for the male pelvic region?
> 
> 
> The 'fro
> 
> 
> Slightly trimmed
> 
> 
> Short n neat?
> 
> 
> Bald?
> 
> 
> p.s. I have no clue if any of those names are true names for penis hairstyles...but...they made since to me.
> 
> :laughing: So long as I'm not hacking up a hair like a cat, lol!
> I don't know! I have never thought about it all that much ...


in quote


----------



## petite libellule

JaySH said:


> in quote


ummm ... no 

:laughing:


----------



## milti

Mr. Meepers said:


> Okay, so how do women (or at least the ones that answer this question) feel about sharing food with an SO at a restaurant? I mean like each partner setting aside a small portion of their dish so the other person could try it (tasting two meals each ^__^). Do you like to share OR do you like sticking to just what you ordered and telling your SO to step away from your food  ... Or does do you just like to share occasionally?


Well, I usually fall prey to the phenomenon where someone's else's food looks better than mine :tongue:

Also, I am a very poor eater. So if you and I were to eat together, I would expect you to help me finish up! :laughing:


----------



## JaySH

Ningsta Kitty said:


> @_JaySH_ no you're not! I think your charming :kitteh:


:blushed:Why, thank you


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Sorry, I missed these!



JaySH said:


> Which leads me to a question as well.
> 
> Since there is no "Victor's Secret", what can us men do to dress up for a women in the bedroom that you'd find sexy?
> 
> Silk boxers? (Hello wedgies)
> 
> The penile towel rod? (That's sexy, right?)
> 
> A dress shirt with nothing else (it works for women to arouse men
> 
> Cowboy boots and nothing else...wait...cowboy boots with spurs
> 
> Not really anything specific in the bedroom for me. I prefer boxer briefs on guys though. I would say a suit during the day gets my mind all excited for later. Any time he's wearing something that looks good on him. I'm not into make thongs or any of that personally.
> 
> 
> 
> And, in terms of grooming, what do you prefer for the male pelvic region?
> 
> The 'fro
> 
> Slightly trimmed
> 
> Short n neat?
> 
> Bald?
> 
> p.s. I have no clue if any of those names are true names for penis hairstyles...but...they made since to me.


No bald. I prefer slightly trimmed...more natural looking.


----------



## Jennywocky

android654 said:


> This article is hilarious.


Yeah, one of those SRSLY moments. 

I could see some value to some of the points, but not at all with some of the others. I had trouble telling whether it was supposed to be serious. Apparently men's magazines have as much crap in them as many of the women's mags do ("How to win your man! How to turn him on! How to be a woman!")


----------



## Jennywocky

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Do you enjoy "dressing up" ?
> Not for a wedding, but ya know ... "dressing up" for fun?



If I'm in the mood. Sometimes I like to go casual and feel comfortable, but sometimes it's fun to dress up. (Not much into dress slacks but I like skirts and dresses.)



Dashing said:


> Would you be okay with going after a career and letting your man stay at home watch after the kids and do the cleaning/shopping/cooking? (And all the other hidden tasks I have yet to notice)


I'm flexible. Very.

Oh wait, I guess you wanted an answer to your QUESTION....! 



> Please answer with your phone number.


If you really cared, you'd ask for an address.



Mr. Meepers said:


> Okay, so how do women (or at least the ones that answer this question) feel about sharing food with an SO at a restaurant? I mean like each partner setting aside a small portion of their dish so the other person could try it (tasting two meals each ^__^). Do you like to share OR do you like sticking to just what you ordered and telling your SO to step away from your food  ... Or does do you just like to share occasionally?


I like to share a taste of food. It's like getting to sample two meals for regular price. And sometimes I don't really WANT an entire meal of whatever he's getting, I just want to taste it. 

On occasion, sometimes we'll both see things we both like, so we'll do halvsies and split the meals when they arrive. That way we both get twice the fun for the same price.

I do not like it when someone drinks my booze, though. yes, I'll trade sips, but I don't expect it to be half-gone when I get back from the bathroom.


----------



## JaySH

​


> If I'm in the mood. Sometimes I like to go casual and feel comfortable, but sometimes it's fun to dress up. (Not much into dress slacks but I like skirts and dresses.)


 @Jennywocky

I believe she meant dress-up as in ....the bedroom.


----------



## hela

Wellsy said:


> Have you ever used a nerf gun as a tampon applicator? If not, why the fuck not? LIVE A LITTLE


No, but I have used a nerf gun full of bloody tampons to ward off Edward Cullen.



> Ever surprised your partner when they got home from work by laying the seductive skills on pretty heavy?


Yes. There were stockings involved.  



> Stockings comfortable to wear? Pros and cons.


In general they are very comfortable/I prefer stockings and leggings to pants. Have I worn tights as pants before? Not answering that question. 

There are no cons as far as I'm concerned. Skirts/leggings > pants. I don't know who these people are who find jeans and trousers comfortable, but they are not me. 



> Got any stories of an individual being creepy that is amusing?


Before I locked up my PMs on PerC, guys would message me all the time for advice on how to hook NT women. It was amusing because they treated it like unicorn-hunting. 



> Do you think the modern man is significantly different in some aspects than to a young man decades ago, well your experience with the opposite sex at least 18 years ago.


I have no idea. 

My experience with the opposite sex 18 years ago consisted of GET OFF YOUR BUTTS WE'RE GOING TO GO HUNT SNAPPING TURTLES


----------



## carlaviii

JaySH said:


> Silk boxers? (Hello wedgies)


Boxer briefs are better. 



> The penile towel rod? (That's sexy, right?)


Just get in bed, silly. 



> A dress shirt with nothing else (it works for women to arouse men


Now we're talking. Bonus points for a loosened necktie. Add a 5 o'clock shadow and you may have trouble getting rid of me. 

On a side note, a tidy, sharply pressed business suit is an invitation to muss you up. Same goes for men in uniform.



> And, in terms of grooming, what do you prefer for the male pelvic region?


Slightly trimmed, if you tend to be overly furry. But there's _supposed_ to be hair down there, so I don't object much.


----------



## JaySH

carlaviii said:


> Boxer briefs are better.
> 
> I agree...no pendulum effect when running it's all I wear
> 
> 
> Just get in bed, silly.
> 
> No argument here
> 
> 
> 
> Now we're talking. Bonus points for a loosened necktie. Add a 5 o'clock shadow and you may have trouble getting rid of me.
> 
> On a side note, a tidy, sharply pressed business suit is an invitation to muss you up. Same goes for men in uniform.
> 
> Good to know.
> 
> 
> Slightly trimmed, if you tend to be overly furry. But there's _supposed_ to be hair down there, so I don't object much.


yeah...trimming is a pain in the ass...nipping the ummm...pendulum...kindof...uhh ...SUCKS!


----------



## carlaviii

JaySH said:


> yeah...trimming is a pain in the ass...nipping the ummm...pendulum...kindof...uhh ...SUCKS!


Yeah, that's such a non-planar geography -- I wouldn't want to be shaving it. Nobody wants a do-it-yourself vasectomy... :shocked:


----------



## android654

carlaviii said:


> Yeah, that's such a non-planar geography -- I wouldn't want to be shaving it. Nobody wants a do-it-yourself vasectomy... :shocked:


That's why you either shave or leave it alone.

Two questions. 

1) How is your penmanship? Do you write in print or cursive?

2) DO you find you're easy to be convinced to do things sexually? Do you have a long track record of doing or trying something sexually you otherwise wouldn't have, but changed your mind after a conversation or two?


----------



## kindaconfused

Enfpleasantly said:


> Haha!
> 
> What kind of stockings do men like on women? Like the regular ole nude ones? or are we talking more like fishnets?


As long as the word "support" doesn't appear on the packaging, it will be perfect.


----------



## Jennywocky

JaySH said:


> I believe she meant dress-up as in ....the bedroom.​





LOL! So much for reading the thread backwards. *DOH*

Well, yes, I like doing that too. ​


----------



## Jennywocky

android654 said:


> 1) How is your penmanship? Do you write in print or cursive?


I typically print, I'm not a fan of cursive -- although when I print fast, sometimes some cursive artifacts sneak into my printing. Mine is not as consistent as I wish it was. I don't know how some people manage to make the letters exactly the same size and shape each time.



> 2) DO you find you're easy to be convinced to do things sexually? Do you have a long track record of doing or trying something sexually you otherwise wouldn't have, but changed your mind after a conversation or two?


I'm pretty open, actually, and don't need a lot of convincing -- the novelty is enjoyable. Any refusal would be based on consistent bad experience.


----------



## JaySH

Jennywocky said:


> LOL! So much for reading the thread backwards. *DOH*
> 
> Well, yes, I like doing that too.


Given the pace at which this thread is moving (which some of us are very thankful for:tongue, I am sure no one would blame you for reading it backwards, lol.


----------



## petite libellule

Jennywocky said:


> I had trouble telling whether it was supposed to be serious.


 Really? there were some inflammatory comments in there about money and power is better then women etc. ... do I *really* give the impression that I'd seriously consider that "Man" material? 

... I thought there were some valid points but like you said, the article was absolutely equivalent to something out of 
*insert popular female magazine. I'm drawing a blank here  *


----------



## JaySH

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Really? there were some inflammatory comments in there about money and power is better then women etc. ... do I *really* give the impression that I'd seriously consider that "Man" material?
> 
> ... I thought there were some valid points but like you said, the article was absolutely equivalent to something out of
> *insert popular female magazine. I'm drawing a blank here  *


Cosmopolitan!!!!


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> 1) How is your penmanship? Do you write in print or cursive?
> 
> Both. I actually mix print and cursive all the time. I went to catholic school and they had us learn nice penmanship. Just that, I guess that is the style I've developed in personal writing. A word starts in print and ends in cursive. *shrugs* It probably means I'm a wife beater or something
> 
> 2) DO you find you're easy to be convinced to do things sexually? No. Absolutely not. I don't like to do anything I don't want to do. I'm pretty stubborn. I am however an open person, so it's not that I won't do things. I just refuse to do anything I feel the other person is trying to manipulate me into doing. (hope that made sense). I have (true story here) I have actually told a guy once who said, "we only have right now", I told him .. "what is this? an after school special?!" and then I proceeded to laugh my ass off. Needless to say, it killed the mood. Lol!!!
> 
> Do you have a long track record of doing or trying something sexually you otherwise wouldn't have, but changed your mind after a conversation or two?


 No. Not necessarily. All the "trying" new stuff were of my suggestions. Interesting, I know.


----------



## hela

JaySH said:


> Firstly, you were baiting which was clarified in your post regarding cave women shaving with shards.
> 
> Secondly, you know nothing about me. I am far from sexist. I am as annoyed by the preconceived notion that women are better parents as you are that men re better at anything. I posted honest questions in this thread that many chose not to more to be safe. I don't value women any less than men. I am not so ignorant as to pretend there aren't noticeable differences between the 2 genders. However, I don't use it as a manner of judging either way.
> 
> Third, I'd ask if you consider yourself sexist. The last group of question you posted in the ask a man thread were regarding fist fights, and grunting while weight lifting. Some could argue it was in poor taste to ask this of men alone, as if to imply we are generally more aggressive, more prone to fighting and more prone to grunt. Personally, they are, on avg, fair assessments, in my eyes. But, I wouldn't assume a man was any of those traits just because he was a man, nor am I saying you would. However, your "knowing" I am sexist is from interactions within here which were not all that dissimilar.
> 
> Just because I've asked a question to females does not mean I do not think they would be consistent with men as well. I asked because I wanted female perspectives on female drive behind them. You've made gross assumptions due to that.
> 
> You're entitled to your opinion, as offensive as it may be to me, so, I digress.


The cave shards thing was a joke, bb.

With regard to you being sexist, I didn't actually think you'd be offended... I don't care if you're sexist, I'm just interested in how you arrive at those conclusions and how your mind works.

The grunting thing was also a joke. Was it misandrist? Nah, but I'll apologize if it offended you.

As to fist fights and favorite characters, I was going to ask the women the same thing today... Anyway lets not clog the thread. Feel free to bitch me out on my wall if you like.


----------



## JaySH

hela said:


> The cave shards thing was a joke, bb.
> 
> With regard to you being sexist, I didn't actually think you'd be offended... I don't care if you're sexist, I'm just interested in how you arrive at those conclusions and how your mind works.
> 
> The grunting thing was also a joke. Was it misandrist? Nah, but I'll apologize if it offended you.
> 
> As to fist fights and favorite characters, I was going to ask the women the same thing today... Anyway lets not clog the thread. Feel free to bitch me out on my wall if you like.


Naah, I'd rather call truce and let it be. I respect and agree with much of what you write. I wasn't offended by the questions on the man thread....I only used that as an example for how some could come to the same conclusion regarding you and sexism as you, seemingly came to with me. 

I truly didn't have an answer for you as I've never considered who valued consistancy and security more between the 2 genders. I did think there may be a commonality with one gender showing value more so than the other but would imagine it varies depending on what facet of life it's being viewed in. 

I apologize as well. Truce?


----------



## HonestAndTrue

@Ningsta Kitty You're making sense. You want to have your cake and eat it too!  Nah. You want a rubber band relationship. One where you both test and stretch the other, but also knowing both of you will relax before one of you makes the other one snap. 

Looking at your cute kid story, where was the perfect point to stop? Because I think it's between you saying "Stop! It's Santa!" and "I screamed". Tell me I'm wrong!


----------



## pinkrasputin

Ningsta Kitty said:


> OKAY!
> 
> QUESTION FOR THE LADIES!!!
> 
> Do you LIKE to give ya know, fallacio :blushed:
> 
> Or do you prefer to receive more?


I love both. I need a partner who can give and receive. For me, giving is another way of expressing myself.

However, my current partner _loves_ to go down, and will do it for hours and all over. He has me beat. And I really like that. I really, _really_ like that. After experiencing this with him the first time, I was certain I wasn't ever going to go anywhere. He has ruined me for all other men. That smart guy :wink:


----------



## Jennywocky

Ningsta Kitty said:


> QUESTION FOR THE LADIES!!!
> Do you LIKE to give ya know, fallacio :blushed:


Ummm.... welll.... yeah. *blush* 

I seem to have an oral fixation.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

hela said:


> Would you argue that men or women are more security-focused?





hela said:


> No no, not financial security. Are men or women more resistant to change? If you had to pick one or the other, of course.





JaySH said:


> I wouldn't argue.


I'll argue. Generally women are more security-focused. Couple minutes of lovin', nine months in the oven. Also overall more women are feelers than thinkers. Women more often than not are shorter, smaller shoe size, less aggressive, and thus less willing to actively resist. Broad generalization, one pun in ten did.

Men are more resistant to change. More often than not a woman will move halfway around the world for a man than the opposite. Her sidecar will hitch onto his cycle. She'll adapt, nurture, support. She'll take his name. She'll fake it. She won't speak up. She'll be content or find something elsewhere. She'll sacrifice herself.

I'm sure glad I'm not a woman, but I love that you are.


----------



## hela

HonestAndTrue said:


> I'll argue. Generally women are more security-focused. Couple minutes of lovin', nine months in the oven. Also overall more women are feelers than thinkers. Women more often than not are shorter, smaller shoe size, less aggressive, and thus less willing to actively resist. Broad generalization, one pun in ten did.
> 
> Men are more resistant to change. More often than not a woman will move halfway around the world for a man than the opposite. Her sidecar will hitch onto his cycle. She'll adapt, nurture, support. She'll take his name. She'll fake it. She won't speak up. She'll be content or find something elsewhere. She'll sacrifice herself.
> 
> I'm sure glad I'm not a woman, but I love that you are.


Exactly what I was looking for. What's your reasoning for feelers being more security-focused than thinkers?


----------



## HonestAndTrue

hela said:


> Exactly what I was looking for. What's your reasoning for feelers being more security-focused than thinkers?


Let's look at the four functions:
Te - Is doing this cost effective? Will it be useful?
Ti - I want to analyze the structure and placement of the fence.
Fe - How will it affect the neighborhood, and what will the neighbors think? 
Fi - I want it to be my own special fence that I can share with others over time

Much of thinking has a measurable answer. Either numbers or logic. You can connect the dots one to the other and communicate if it passes or fails. So then if it fails you cut it off for what passes. Like going to the store and picking between two of the same item based on price.

Much of feeling is added and possibly unseen value. It's not always direct, cold, sharp, computer ones and zeros based. It has to do with people as individuals and more than the current moment. Where thinking can flip back and forth based on the most current information, feeling is fluid and slow to change so rather than flip it may slide or drift. Like going to the store and picking between two of the same item based on brand.

Thinking: What do I feel like doing today?
Feeler: What do I feel like doing today based on what I did over the last ten years and what I will do over the next ten years?

So stereotypically guys as thinkers are always ready, and women as feelers as more security-focused will spend that extra hour of investment on her nails, hair, skin, cloths, and whatever else is done. Now a thinker will value the hour investment, but the investment doesn't benefit him near as much as it improves her internal security.

What say you?


----------



## petite libellule

HonestAndTrue said:


> Looking at your cute kid story, where was the perfect point to stop? Because I think it's between you saying "Stop! It's Santa!" and "I screamed". Tell me I'm wrong!


 LOL!!! :laughing: 

-_- I was young ... and maybe _too_ sensitive


----------



## hela

HonestAndTrue said:


> Let's look at the four functions:
> Te - Is doing this cost effective? Will it be useful?
> Ti - I want to analyze the structure and placement of the fence.
> Fe - How will it affect the neighborhood, and what will the neighbors think?
> Fi - I want it to be my own special fence that I can share with others over time
> 
> Much of thinking has a measurable answer. Either numbers or logic. You can connect the dots one to the other and communicate if it passes or fails. So then if it fails you cut it off for what passes. Like going to the store and picking between two of the same item based on price.
> 
> Much of feeling is added and possibly unseen value. It's not always direct, cold, sharp, computer ones and zeros based. It has to do with people as individuals and more than the current moment. Where thinking can flip back and forth based on the most current information, feeling is fluid and slow to change so rather than flip it may slide or drift. Like going to the store and picking between two of the same item based on brand.
> 
> Thinking: What do I feel like doing today?
> Feeler: What do I feel like doing today based on what I did over the last ten years and what I will do over the next ten years?
> 
> So stereotypically guys as thinkers are always ready, and women as feelers as more security-focused will spend that extra hour of investment on her nails, hair, skin, cloths, and whatever else is done. Now a thinker will value the hour investment, but the investment doesn't benefit him near as much as it improves her internal security.
> 
> What say you?


I say that I am way too lazy to bite the perfect man's head off right now.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

hela said:


> I say that I am way too lazy to bite the perfect man's head off right now.


What if you had a glass of milk?


----------



## hela

HonestAndTrue said:


> What if you had a glass of milk?


Dissolution before consumption, eh?


----------



## HonestAndTrue

hela said:


> Dissolution before consumption, eh?


Most women seem to prefer that order of things. 

I did a search and it didn't show me any results in this thread. I have both selfish and selfless reasons to ask, but a definitive answer to this question could potentially help all mankind. So, in the spirit of the new year.

How do you spot a woman faking an orgasm?

Have you been caught and called out during?

Have you stopped faking and turned honest?

If only we all could just be honest and true


----------



## mimesis

HonestAndTrue said:


> Most women seem to prefer that order of things.
> 
> I did a search and it didn't show me any results in this thread. I have both selfish and selfless reasons to ask, but a definitive answer to this question could potentially help all mankind. So, in the spirit of the new year.
> 
> How do you spot a woman faking an orgasm?
> 
> Have you been caught and called out during?
> 
> Have you stopped faking and turned honest?
> 
> If only we all could just be honest and true



And what if it means you were never as good as you thought you were? Could you handle that honesty?


----------



## HonestAndTrue

mimesis said:


> And what if it means you were never as good as you thought you were? Could you handle that honesty?


And what if it was a day that ends in y. Yes. Could you?

EDIT:
A true gentleman will do anything to make his girl happy.


----------



## mimesis

HonestAndTrue said:


> And what if it was a day that ends in y. Yes. Could you?


Oh I see, it's thàt hypothetical, huh...?

I must say, it has happened with a girl, that she made so much noise I found it hard to believe to be true. Did it make me work harder? Yes it did. roud: So, wtf?


----------



## HonestAndTrue

mimesis said:


> And what if it means you were never as good as you thought you were?





HonestAndTrue said:


> And what if it was a day that ends in y.





mimesis said:


> Oh I see, it's thàt hypothetical, huh...?


No. All days end in y. It's always true. There's always room for improvement.


----------



## carlaviii

HonestAndTrue said:


> How do you spot a woman faking an orgasm?
> 
> Have you been caught and called out during?
> 
> Have you stopped faking and turned honest?


1. Relaxed nipples
2. Nope, because:
3. I haven't faked.


----------



## Jennywocky

HonestAndTrue said:


> How do you spot a woman faking an orgasm?


She is the one moaning while crossing her fingers behind her back.


----------



## mimesis

HonestAndTrue said:


> No. All days end in y. It's always true. There's always room for improvement.


Some things just can't be improved.


----------



## sleepyhead

HonestAndTrue said:


> Most women seem to prefer that order of things.
> 
> I did a search and it didn't show me any results in this thread. I have both selfish and selfless reasons to ask, but a definitive answer to this question could potentially help all mankind. So, in the spirit of the new year.
> 
> How do you spot a woman faking an orgasm?
> 
> Have you been caught and called out during?
> 
> Have you stopped faking and turned honest?
> 
> If only we all could just be honest and true


I've never faked. If I can't get there I just say so and we move on.


----------



## sleepyhead

Wellsy said:


> How have ideals of masculinity influenced you as a woman?
> Have there been subtle things that you've expected once before of men because of the image of what men are said to be?


I was a Women and Gender studies major and spent 5 years deconstructing gender roles. Logically it made sense to me to find someone who was just comfortable being themselves, whatever that would mean, so I was really just looking for someone very genuine.

To the second question, no, but my partner had all kinds of expectations about what he was "supposed" to do as a boyfriend. Over the last 5 years those things have pretty much all broken down. We fulfill the roles that fit for us personally.



android654 said:


> Would it be condescending if your husband/boyfriend/father of your child strongly suggested you quit your job or career in order to raise your child or tend to your home. How would you react?


I would find it condescending if they assumed I would be doing it without first having a conversation about what each of us wants and envisions.

My partner and I have already talked about what we want when we have kids - I want to be a stay at home mom for as long as possible and my partner will hopefully be the primary breadwinner. But since I'm the one who already has a permanent full-time job what will actually happen will depend on our situation at the time.



whist said:


> How old were you when you figured out how to have an orgasm?


13, pretty much by accident.



Dashing said:


> Dirty talk.
> 
> Y/N?


Hell yes. Love it love it love it.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Do you LIKE to give ya know, fallacio
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Or do you prefer to receive more?


I'm very into both. Slightly more into receiving because I'm a bit selfish.


----------



## WickerDeer

redmanXNTP said:


> People have found evidence of early (wo)man's use of pigments as eyeliner. It didn't all start with Clairol. Step back from this season's latest fashions and take a gander at the bigger picture. Whether it's hairy legs or fishnets or feather boas, it doesn't matter. Those are the deck chairs on the sexual attraction Titanic.


I thought that there was evidence that women used eyeliner to ward of the evil eye or for other magical purposes (like in ancient Egypt). Is the purpose for feather boas, fishnets, and shaved legs equally magical? 

Can gender roles, which definitely have the capacity to be constricting and mundane, also become magical sources of power when designed intelligently and for fun? 

Also, hela's comment about cave woman shaving with shards was destructive...destructively funny! Yeah, too bad I'm not as good at making jokes. But that comparison was super-funny. It brightened my night.


----------



## Death Persuades

HonestAndTrue said:


> How do you spot a woman faking an orgasm?
> e


Orgasms tend to be accompanied by flushed skin, warmer body and erect nipples. 
Orgasms are always accompanied by the quite obvious sign of contractions all over the pelvic area, and can be felt on the penis as the vagina has its contractions... Now you can be disappointed next time.


----------



## redmanXNTP

meltedsorbet said:


> I thought that there was evidence that women used eyeliner to ward of the evil eye or for other magical purposes (like in ancient Egypt). Is the purpose for feather boas, fishnets, and shaved legs equally magical?
> 
> Can gender roles, which definitely have the capacity to be constricting and mundane, also become magical sources of power when designed intelligently and for fun?
> 
> * Also, hela's comment about cave woman shaving with shards was destructive...destructively funny! Yeah, too bad I'm not as good at making jokes. But that comparison was super-funny. It brightened my night.*


In other words, "Yay, girl power!"

Most fashion originates as some more utilitarian practice, or from the adoption of some utilitarian item. Also, Egyptians weren't the only ancient civilization to use eyeliner, so the fact that they used it for religious purposes didn't exclude other civilizations from using it for other, less formal reasons. 

The point is, those things I listed became fashion so that women could look more attractive (mostly) to men.


----------



## WickerDeer

redmanXNTP said:


> In other words, "Yay, girl power!"
> 
> Most fashion originates as some more utilitarian practice, or from the adoption of some utilitarian item. Also, Egyptians weren't the only ancient civilization to use eyeliner, so the fact that they used it for religious purposes didn't exclude other civilizations from using it for other, less formal reasons.
> 
> The point is, those things I listed became fashion so that women could look more attractive (mostly) to men.


Alright, and wtf about the "girl power" thing? Right--way to hit below the belt (as if I were as physically vulnerable there as you are).

My point is that most things have more layers of meaning than that of pure and obvious utility. Even with the example of the feather boa--more influences are at play here than just "men are attracted to dyed feathers, I better string some up and wrap them around my neck."

When I look back at all the crazy stuff ancient people did, I'm not going to agree that they did it all for pure utility.

Oh yeah, also, "Yay, girl power!" I just love that stuff.


----------



## Dragearen

Forgive me if any of these have already been asked:

Why do you wear high heels?* If you don't, why do you think other women do?

Same question, but with makeup.

What do you think of men with long hair?

What do you think of Bravehearts**?

_*Just a little tidbit, but the wearing of high heels actually originated in butcher's shops, so the butcher could walk around without getting his feet bloody.

**See Kiltmen.com - Bravehearts in Kilts_ _Bravehearts also include people_ _that wear MUGs (Male Unbifurcated Garments), and there is a subcategory of Ethnic Bravehearts, who wear only traditional MUGs, such as kilts, sarongs, fustanellas, etc._


----------



## redmanXNTP

meltedsorbet said:


> Alright, and wtf about the "girl power" thing? Right--way to hit below the belt (as if I were as physically vulnerable there as you are).
> 
> My point is that most things have more layers of meaning than that of pure and obvious utility. Even with the example of the feather boa--more influences are at play here than just "men are attracted to dyed feathers, I better string some up and wrap them around my neck."
> 
> When I look back at all the crazy stuff ancient people did, I'm not going to agree that they did it all for pure utility.
> 
> Oh yeah, also, "Yay, girl power!" * I just love that stuff.*


That must be why you protested about it being "below the belt" in the first place.


----------



## Villainous

What's your definition of a man?

Of a woman?


----------



## WickerDeer

redmanXNTP said:


> That must be why you protested about it being "below the belt" in the first place.


Well, it was partially a joke about carrying my gonads on the inside (if you know what I mean).

But really, I think and have thought deeply about gender issues, and I've noticed a "girl power" trend that's been capitalized on by well, capitalism. 
Most things that are brought into the corroding eye of materialism have sacrificed their meaningful depth for profitability. I have to say that girl power has become kind of cliche and that I've criticized the concept myself. 

I think that the true power which feminism aspired to was actually a "humanist" power, birthed by some women in a particular situation, and that it transcends the cliche that encircles "girl power." 

However, I also believe in taking back terms and so ultimately girl power isn't a bad thing, any more than "human power," which still can not convey the meaning that I see in the idea.


----------



## hela

Have you ever gotten in a fist fight? 

Who was your role model as a child?

Is Bella or Edward getting the worse deal?

What form of birth control do you use?


----------



## WickerDeer

Dragearen said:


> Forgive me if any of these have already been asked:
> 
> Why do you wear high heels?* If you don't, why do you think other women do?
> *
> I wore high heels once recently when I wanted to feel feminine. It was super hard--it's a skill to master.* * I didn't know about the butcher shop thing--I'll have to keep that in mind when I'm visiting the butcher. Other women do it because they're trying to steal my MAN--intolerable hussies (actually, how would I know why?).*
> 
> Same question, but with makeup.
> *
> Meh--similar. I wore makeup today because I thought--I will look rather uglier if I don't wear it. I read this magazine article that said women my age should wear eyeliner because our eyes will slouch into the basset hound position before you can blow a dog whistle, and makeup will somehow remedy this. (I'm nearly thirty). Also, my eyelashes will begin to fall out if I don't use this bizarre prescription medicine--and then men will mistake me for a dirty laundry hamper, apparently. That's what I got out of it at least.*
> 
> What do you think of men with long hair?
> 
> *men with long hair should probably brush it if they want it to be untangled.*
> 
> What do you think of Bravehearts**?
> *
> I didn't know about Bravehearts till now. I did know this one guy who wore a kilt, but I was suspicious of him because he seemed like he was on drugs and his wife was always complaining about how bad he was with the children. I think though, overall, it is commendable that some men are interested in embracing their recent ethnic heritage with kilts. I like it.*
> _*Just a little tidbit, but the wearing of high heels actually originated in butcher's shops, so the butcher could walk around without getting his feet bloody.
> 
> **See Kiltmen.com - Bravehearts in Kilts_ _Bravehearts also include people_ _that wear MUGs (Male Unbifurcated Garments), and there is a subcategory of Ethnic Bravehearts, who wear only traditional MUGs, such as kilts, sarongs, fustanellas, etc._


 Ta dah!


----------



## carlaviii

Dragearen said:


> Why do you wear high heels?* If you don't, why do you think other women do?
> 
> Same question, but with makeup.
> 
> What do you think of men with long hair?
> 
> What do you think of Bravehearts**?


1. I don't wear heels, but I read somewhere about how it makes your butt tilt just so. Which causes lower back problems in the long run, but hey! Lookit my butt! 
2. I don't wear makeup, but I can understand wanting to even out your skin tone and draw attention to the eyes and lips. 
3. LOVE men with long hair. And goatees/beards. 
4. LOVE kilts. I am a Scottish-based mutt. Pass the oatcakes and haggis, please. Excuse me while I go drool over the link.


----------



## Bat

josue0098 said:


> Orgasms tend to be accompanied by flushed skin, warmer body and erect nipples.
> Orgasms are always accompanied by the quite obvious sign of contractions all over the pelvic area, and can be felt on the penis as the vagina has its contractions... Now you can be disappointed next time.


I'd be careful about using that criteria to determine whether a woman is or isn't having an orgasm. I rarely flush and my nipples don't usually harden from orgasm alone, even when I'm having a multiple. I would find it highly annoying if I were in the middle of an orgasm and my partner suddenly stopped and accused me of faking it.

Plus, a woman who is faking it could be doing kegels to simulate the pelvic contractions.


----------



## Death Persuades

Bat said:


> I'd be careful about using that criteria to determine whether a woman is or isn't having an orgasm. I rarely flush and my nipples don't usually harden from orgasm alone, even when I'm having a multiple. I would find it highly annoying if I were in the middle of an orgasm and my partner suddenly stopped and accused me of faking it.
> 
> Plus, a woman who is faking it could be doing kegels to simulate the pelvic contractions.


Women who fake it are just ruining their own sex lives anyway. This says to the man "You're doing it right", when he is not.


----------



## Bat

josue0098 said:


> Women who fake it are just ruining their own sex lives anyway. This says to the man "You're doing it right", when he is not.


This conversation reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where Elaine tells Jerry she faked orgasm with him. "What about the breathing, the panting, the moaning, the screaming?" "Fake, fake, fake, fake."

Yes, I agree with you.


----------



## Jennywocky

josue0098 said:


> Women who fake it are just ruining their own sex lives anyway. This says to the man "You're doing it right", when he is not.





Bat said:


> Yes, I agree with you.


yes, it's not a very beneficial pattern to get into, from the woman's orgasmic POV (although maybe she is bartering her orgasmic potential for other benefits like security, money, prestige, etc., by bolstering the ego of the guy she is with, depending on his power and wealth).


----------



## carlaviii

hela said:


> Have you ever gotten in a fist fight?
> 
> Who was your role model as a child?
> 
> Is Bella or Edward getting the worse deal?
> 
> What form of birth control do you use?


1. No
2. Didn't have one. Do people really have role models? Why?
3. Didn't read _Twilight_, could not care less. Didn't read _Fifty Shades of Grey_ and _Hunger Games_ failed to impress me. I'm just contrary, yes.
4. Currently, rhythm plus condoms


----------



## Jennywocky

Dragearen said:


> Forgive me if any of these have already been asked:
> Why do you wear high heels?* If you don't, why do you think other women do?


I really like heels, but I'm very tall (5'11") and so I tend to not wear them often as I hate being taller than everyone around me. (I would rather be on eye level if possible, or not even further out of range.)

Shorter women can wear them to be more on eye level.

I do think they can be bad over time, based on the height of the heel, since they can create health issues. But at the same time I like them because for whatever reason I feel more feminine. I like how they look and how they make my legs look -- they add more curve to my body line. I like how I walk in them. They're fun. I'm not sure what else to say about it.



> Same question, but with makeup.


I like makeup because, if used correctly, it can emphasize the best qualities of what I already have and bring them out, and diminish the less-favored qualities. I look better with makeup (used correctly), while still looking "like me." I also appreciate the artistic skills I can develop, it's like practicing a craft. And I appreciate the ability to customize my appearance based on who I feel I am and how I'm feeling that day. *shrug*



> What do you think of men with long hair?


Well, they vex me immensely when their hair is prettier than mine.  But otherwise, I don't really tend to feel much either way. I tend to like guys with shorter hair, honestly. I like stubble too. And I think it would be fun to run my hands over a bald/stubbled head.



> What do you think of Bravehearts**?


Don't really care either way. it's not a point of attraction, I guess.


----------



## android654

Would you consider yourself a good person? Why or why not?

Would you consider yourself a bad person? Why or why not?


----------



## petite libellule

In Quote ...



Dragearen said:


> Why do you wear high heels?* If you don't, why do you think other women do?i
> I do if the occasion calls for it. Otherwise I don't. Heels make your ass look better, slims out the legs - it's a visual thing. Obviously fashionable as well. So overall, it's just another one of those things ... imo.
> 
> Same question, but with makeup.
> 
> I don't really wear make up on a regular basis at all. If I am having a bad complexion day I might wear foundation. I'm fairly lazy. So if it's more than foundation it's my eyes that are done which is for 1 of 2 reasons: 1) I want to feel pretty because of wherever I'm going. 2) I am sad and want to feel pretty and cheer myself up. I like wearing makeup but I just don't have the energy/time to have some daily ritual to look pretty. And honestly, I get hit on way more often when I have no make up on, my hair is sloppy and I'm in crappy lazy sunday clothes. wtf ?
> 
> What do you think of men with long hair?
> 
> I used to be attracted to it in high school. Not anymore. I'm also 33 though. So if a man was interested who had long hair, then they would really have to wow me with personality. because it just looks like they're trying to look young. idk ... I'd be friends with them, just I am not in particularly attracted to men with exuberant amounts of ink, crazy piercings or long hair.
> 
> What do you think of Bravehearts**?
> 
> what do I think of men in skirts? ... is he straight from Scotland? Why pigeon hold yourself? that is what I would be thinking. What's the point of making a fashion statement just for the sake of "not conforming" ? ... I am not a fan of men nor women who protest/or do things so as to appear (make a stand) about non conformity just for the sake of non conformity as if they're some _martyr_. How about not limiting/isolating yourself from the general public and use your mind to speak out and influence people to your way of thinking (opposed to being a walking billboard for a case no one cares about because no one is being taking seriously). It would be hard for me to take him seriously.
> 
> now if a man is wearing a skirt because he individually authentically wants to because he likes how the boys can feel the wind through their hair ... no problem then, whatever floats your boat


----------



## Jennywocky

android654 said:


> Would you consider yourself a good person? Why or why not?


Well, I think overall I'm a good person. My intentions are good, and I try to share who I am with others so that they might benefit. I do things that scare me sometimes, because I think they are important to do and/or someone else will benefit from them. I have also tried to maintain grace and respect for others even when I've felt like I've been unfairly treated. And it's not necessarily I'm trying to do a "good thing," I've just found over time that it's who I have become and want to be, it's who I am now. I can say I think about others rather than being absorbed in my own needs.

I also like seeing become who they are, sometimes at cost or inconvenience to myself.

But this does not mean I am perfect, and it doesn't mean I'm not flawed in some ways. I have things about myself that I'm disappointed about (my procrastination, my stinginess with resources at times, my desire to be accepted and thought well of, etc.) and that are sometimes a struggle for me to overcome. Yet the fact I'm struggling with them rather than just giving up or justifying those things also means I'm on the right road, in my view.


----------



## JaySH

When a man proposes, how much weight is placed on the size of the diamond engagement ring for you?

How small is too small?

How big is too big?

If the engagement is about love, and he has shown through both actions and gestures that he loves you, and you love him, why does the size if the diamond on the engagement ring matter at all? 

Shouldn't it be the thought that counts? 

Isn't the strength and purity of the love between you what matters?


----------



## petite libellule

hela said:


> Have you ever gotten in a fist fight? Lol! No! SO NOT in my character.
> 
> Who was your role model as a child?
> My Grandma from Ireland. Audrey Hepburn and Shirley Temple,
> (both of which have had amazing lives and were amazing people).
> 
> Is Bella or Edward getting the worse deal?
> 
> I had no idea what you were talking about until I noticed someone else answer. Twilight is the ONLY book I could not finish. I typically force myself through a bad book/movie because I started it and need to see it through (what if something changes half way through? ) Anyways, I announced that I hated the book and that it seemed like something written for a 13 yr. old. Abot 50 some middle aged people gathered as an angry mob with flaming pitchforks on my front lawn(FB Wall) ... It was hysterical! AND turns out ... IT WAS written for a 13 yr. old! LOLOL!!! :tongue:
> 
> What form of birth control do you use?


 I have had experience with a few types in my life. There are pros and cons to each type of contraception. That is all I have to say about that.


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> Would you consider yourself a good person? Why or why not?
> 
> Would you consider yourself a bad person? Why or why not?


 I would consider myself a good person even more so because I consider myself a bad person too. I am aware of my "bad" (dark) part of me (which everyone has) - I don't hate that part of me. But I try to balance it out I guess. I think we are what we do (at the end of the day). So I work hard to be a good person, not that I was born "good". I make the conscious choice to be good, therefore I do believe I am a good person. But I'm a person (human) which is to say, I'm bad(stupid) too ... all people are. I say this a lot because I feel it all boils down to this: I am as stupid as I have ALWAYS been. I promise you. Just that, I KNOW myself(my stupid) that much more every year ... How can you control something you are not consciously aware of ? (is fear a conscious choice? no. make it one and it'll be all good). That's just how I think regarding the "am I a good(bad) person" thing.


----------



## petite libellule

JaySH said:


> When a man proposes, how much weight is placed on the size of the diamond engagement ring for you?
> 
> How small is too small?
> 
> How big is too big?
> 
> If the engagement is about love, and he has shown through both actions and gestures that he loves you, and you love him, why does the size if the diamond on the engagement ring matter at all?
> 
> Shouldn't it be the thought that counts?
> 
> Isn't the strength and purity of the love between you what matters?



This is a difficult question. Jewelry is a personal thing. It's like glasses on your face (which take me forever to pick out!) because you wear it every day. So I would think it would be more important that she likes the style of the ring. But for the sake of all the guys on this forum asking this same question ...
Buying the Perfect Engagement Ring | The Art of Manliness 

however, imo, I think marriage is a huge step and not to be taken lightly. I think it is more important to make sure this is a relationship you want for the next 50 years or whatever. for me, while I keep in mind that tomorrow is promised to no one, I think as if I am going to live till 85. So with that said, if I were to marry at 35, that is 50 yrs with that person. 

So for me, the relationship in itself is way more_ important _than the ring. 

* I'm curios to see how the other women answer this question. *


----------



## Jennywocky

JaySH said:


> When a man proposes, how much weight is placed on the size of the diamond engagement ring for you?
> How small is too small?
> How big is too big?


While I like a ring and it would have meaning for me (I would wear it as much as I could), I don't require one. It's just a ring, and thus a thing, and nothing about which I need to sing.

"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing."

Rings have the potential to go the way of the Crack of Doom (or get lost between the front seats and gear shift of your car), but love ... oh, love endures.



> If the engagement is about love, and he has shown through both actions and gestures that he loves you, and you love him, why does the size if the diamond on the engagement ring matter at all?
> 
> Shouldn't it be the thought that counts?
> 
> Isn't the strength and purity of the love between you what matters?


At this point you have stopped asking questions and are starting instead to promote a particular viewpoint. Is there a reason you have done this?


----------



## petite libellule

Jennywocky said:


> At this point you have stopped asking questions and are starting instead to promote a particular viewpoint. Is there a reason you have done this?


 I wouldn't go as far as saying he was promoting. It's just a manner of speaking. It's an invitation as to whether you agree or disagree with that opinion.


----------



## petite libellule

JaySH said:


> If the engagement is about love, and he has shown through both actions and gestures that he loves you, and you love him, why does the size if the diamond on the engagement ring matter at all?
> 
> The ring IS about love. the size matters to me (yes, there are many women like @_Jennywocky_ who don't care about a ring at all. That is beautiful! but I'm sorry to say I am not one of those women.) As far as I see it, if I don't care about having a ring, then why would I care about the piece of paper.
> 
> Shouldn't it be the thought that counts?
> 
> It's the thought that counts applies to a home made gift. not a wedding ring. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh.
> 
> Isn't the strength and purity of the love between you what matters?


 ABSOLUTELY! But that statement could be applied fairly generously to a variety of situations and the perspective(tone) of the conversation can change. I think, it is the only thing that matters, marriage is the style one chooses to live. _The commitment is practiced more traditionally_. That's all. No more, no less.

Note: I think that the commitment being practiced more traditionally is the point here. It's not necessary to practice commitment in that way. I think a couples choice of how to practice their commitment to each other is gonna vary depending on the individuals as well as other outside factors.


----------



## Jennywocky

Ningsta Kitty said:


> yes, there are many women like Jennywocky who don't care about a ring at all. That is beautiful! but I'm sorry to say I am not one of those women.


Well, let me be really clear... I *really* would like a ring. *blush* And here is one of those weird moments when my vaunted independence takes a tumble... it's not really that the size of it matters much, it's that he loved me enough to give me one and that I want to wear it as a sign of signifying that we are part of each other... much like I'd wear my SO's shirt around the house. That kind of physical signifier of a relational connection actually holds some value to me.

But it's not going to change my commitment to or belief in the relationship, if we can't afford one. I might have starry eyes, but I'm also a realist.


----------



## Jennywocky

Ningsta Kitty said:


> I wouldn't go as far as saying he was promoting. It's just a manner of speaking. It's an invitation as to whether you agree or disagree with that opinion.


Meh. To me, it was a HUGE display of "begging the question."


----------



## sleepyhead

hela said:


> Have you ever gotten in a fist fight?
> 
> Who was your role model as a child?
> 
> Is Bella or Edward getting the worse deal?
> 
> What form of birth control do you use?


1) Nope.
2) When I was really young, probably my parents. When I was a teen, (slightly embarrassing), Bif Naked.
3) I don't know the story.
4) Currently, condoms. In the past, condoms, the pill, the nuvaring.



Villainous said:


> What's your definition of a man?
> 
> Of a woman?


For each, I have no hard set definition. I try to respect how each person wants to be identified, even if my immediate reaction is to label them as the opposite. 



Dragearen said:


> Forgive me if any of these have already been asked:
> 
> Why do you wear high heels?* If you don't, why do you think other women do?
> 
> Same question, but with makeup.
> 
> What do you think of men with long hair?
> 
> What do you think of Bravehearts**?
> 
> _*Just a little tidbit, but the wearing of high heels actually originated in butcher's shops, so the butcher could walk around without getting his feet bloody.
> 
> **See Kiltmen.com - Bravehearts in Kilts_ _Bravehearts also include people_ _that wear MUGs (Male Unbifurcated Garments), and there is a subcategory of Ethnic Bravehearts, who wear only traditional MUGs, such as kilts, sarongs, fustanellas, etc._


1) I don't. I'm only 4'11, but I've never found them comfortable and they just don't really fit with my style. For other women, i assume they like the look.
2) I genuinely like the way it makes me eyes look.
3) It completely depends on the guy. I dated a guy who had long hair all the way down his back and I thought it was sexy. My current boyfriend had long dreads before we met and I thought he looked cute with them. It just depends - on some men it just doesn't work.
4) I'd never heard of Bravehearts before - I kinda like it. My boyfriend played in a pipeband when he was 14 and he said he went into a store once after and these girls kept looking at him and smiling and he was sure they were making fun of him. I said they probably thought he was cute. Always loved a man in a kilt.



android654 said:


> Would you consider yourself a good person? Why or why not?
> 
> Would you consider yourself a bad person? Why or why not?


I don't really see people in such black and white terms, life isn't so uncomplicated. However, if I had to choose, I generally see myself as a good person because I'm true to myself, the people who are important to me, and I try to give back in ways that I can. I try try to acknowledge and work on my faults and respect myself and those around me.



JaySH said:


> When a man proposes, how much weight is placed on the size of the diamond engagement ring for you?
> 
> How small is too small?
> 
> How big is too big?
> 
> If the engagement is about love, and he has shown through both actions and gestures that he loves you, and you love him, why does the size if the diamond on the engagement ring matter at all?
> 
> Shouldn't it be the thought that counts?
> 
> Isn't the strength and purity of the love between you what matters?


My boyfriend and I have talked a lot about this and if we do get married (it's not really important to either of us) it will probably happen in about 10 years after we have kids. I would prefer no ring because I don't like the way they feel and I never wear them - likely we would both get something symbolic for each other. He says he may want a ring, but I'd more likely want a piece of art. We have love in our relationship, already own two cats, two cars, and a house and are planning to have kids in a year or two so an engagement at all doesn't matter to me. I don't think this will be the typical answer to this question.


----------



## android654

Jennywocky said:


> Meh. To me, it was a HUGE display of "begging the question."


Yeah, his wording made it seem like the question was quite personal.

I've got another question. What is your obsession with hands.


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> Yeah, his wording made it seem like the question was quite personal.


not wanting to start some ridiculous argument (not that you would) but out of sheer curiosity. How so? because there have been lots of questions I've posed that absolutely could have sounded personal (some were. others were not) all seemingly personal, maybe. and I guess the point I'm poking at here is that I didn't receive any flack for it. So I'm confused what the deal is?


----------



## Jennywocky

android654 said:


> I've got another question. What is your obsession with hands.


lol. Do I have an obsession with hands?



Ningsta Kitty said:


> not wanting to start some ridiculous argument (not that you would) but out of sheer curiosity. How so? because there have been lots of questions I've posed that absolutely could have sounded personal (some were. others were not) all seemingly personal, maybe. and I guess the point I'm poking at here is that I didn't receive any flack for it. So I'm confused what the deal is?


It's taking me a little time to know how to address your question, because when you asked it, I'm like, "How could you NOT read it that way?"

The initial question was very sufficient. The whole latter half of that post was redundant, extraneous, and was written in a way that suggested, "Why wouldn't you agree with this point of view?" It certainly wasn't an open-ended question. I felt like I was being told what answer I was supposed to give.

That wasn't the only post where things were phrased that way, and since I'm a pattern-person, I recognize the template.

Anyway, I thought it worth just dragging it into the open, so we could beat it to death.  Never let something fester!


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> What is your obsession with hands.


 oh I know we covered this. So I'll be sweet and quick about it. I luuuuvie men with strong hands. I luv to see what they can do(create) with them (whether it be drawing, music, carpentry) and It makes me feel small. As in more vulnerable kinda. (not in a negative weak way).


----------



## Jennywocky

Ningsta Kitty said:


> oh I know we covered this. So I'll be sweet and quick about it. I luuuuvie men with strong hands. I luv to see what they can do(create) with them (whether it be drawing, music, carpentry) and It makes me feel small. As in more vulnerable kinda. (not in a negative weak way).


I like hands too that way. I don't know if they would be a "selling point" for me. 

I don't particularly like knobby hands, though. Strong/firm is good, but I still like them to be dextrous and exquisite rather than large and powerful per se. I love watching artist/musician hands at work, and I like holding hands.


----------



## petite libellule

Jennywocky said:


> It's taking me a little time to know how to address your question, because when you asked it, I'm like, "How could you NOT read it that way?" Because I'm reading it the way an NF would(or rather, as THIS NF would). I have actually defended posts when people say "but that was implied! why would I have to say that so specifically/detailed?" ... because we all think different so take in info different and so on ..
> 
> The initial question was very sufficient. The whole latter half of that post was redundant, extraneous, and was written in a way that suggested, "Why wouldn't you agree with this point of view?" It certainly wasn't an open-ended question. *I felt like I was being told what answer I was supposed to give.
> 
> Fair enough, *I myself have been guilty of wording things in a way that made people feel like what I was telling them was really me telling them they're wrong (which is never the case). For me, (and I'm still working on this), I have to take more care in how I say things as I'm often misunderstood. *insert rambly stuff* lol!
> 
> That wasn't the only post where things were phrased that way, and since I'm a pattern-person, I recognize the template.
> I recognized that pattern. I also however recognize the pattern that things are taken too seriously It's just a question. I highly doubt they are implying that it directly applies to you specifically. I can see how the wording is off. But I would not entertain it so seriously as to let it irritate me. On the flip side 2 people had a spat yesterday that had me irritated and all in a tizzy. So I suppose it is what it is *shrugs with smile*
> 
> Anyway, I thought it worth just dragging it into the open, so we could beat it to death.  Never let something fester!


 I hate letting things fester. >.< That is why I'm saying something, I like your input very often so was just wanting to understand.

I also want to make note that that poster is asking questions I feel many men want to ask. Same as me asking lots of those questions on the man thread. Some felt a little embarrassing to ask, but I knew that I am not the only woman who wants to know. Or at least that is what I tell myself


----------



## JaySH

Jennywocky said:


> While I like a ring and it would have meaning for me (I would wear it as much as I could), I don't require one. It's just a ring, and thus a thing, and nothing about which I need to sing."If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing."Rings have the potential to go the way of the Crack of Doom (or get lost between the front seats and gear shift of your car), but love ... oh, love endures.At this point you have stopped asking questions and are starting instead to promote a particular viewpoint. Is there a reason you have done this?


Actually, there is a reason. I was not curious why a woman who marries for money, convenience, etc. would be concerned with the size of the ring. I would never be in a relationship such as that. I was curious why the size would matter for those who were in love and confident their SO loved them. This was actually inspired by a radio show in which this same topic came up (Rock 101/The Morning Buzz). The discussion was between 2 men and these are the questions and points that were raised. I was curious what the female perspective was on such questions so, I asked the question in "I Am a Woman- Ask Me Anything". Plain and simple. Nothing more. Thanks for your replies.


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> not wanting to start some ridiculous argument (not that you would) but out of sheer curiosity. How so? because there have been lots of questions I've posed that absolutely could have sounded personal (some were. others were not) all seemingly personal, maybe. and I guess the point I'm poking at here is that I didn't receive any flack for it. So I'm confused what the deal is?


Perhaps I'm assuming too much, but when I read it, it sounded like it was coming from some place personal. As in a personal experience that was exposed more and more as he wrote the question. At least that's how I saw it.


----------



## Jennywocky

JaySH said:


> Actually, there is a reason. I was not curious why a woman who marries for money, convenience, etc. would be concerned with the size of the ring. I would never be in a relationship such as that. I was curious why the size would matter for those who were in love and confident their SO loved them. This was actually inspired by a radio show in which this same topic came up (Rock 101/The Morning Buzz). The discussion was between 2 men and these are the questions and points that were raised. I was curious what the female perspective was on such questions so, I asked the question in "I Am a Woman- Ask Me Anything". Plain and simple. Nothing more. Thanks for your replies.


I wonder if the wedding thing has anything to do with the ring thing. (You know, where many women -- not every, but many -- have fantasized about having these beautiful weddings.) It's not that she doesn't love her guy and vice versa, but there's some weird desire there for things to fit some kind of personally idealized image.

You know, like what you might imagine the perfect man/woman might be, or what your first kiss should be like, or how magical prom should be (when you're in high school), or what your first time having sex should be like, or what kind of house you think would be perfect to live in. I think both men and women can experience this -- they can even have an idea in their head of the "ideal romantic partner" while simultaneously feeling very attached and happy with their actual, real-life lover.

Reality often does not conform to the expectation, and it doesn't mean you don't enjoy or appreciate reality; but it doesn't necessarily make that personal fantasy disappear.


----------



## petite libellule

Jennywocky said:


> Reality often does not conform to the expectation, and it doesn't mean you don't enjoy or appreciate reality; but it doesn't necessarily make that personal fantasy disappear.


I think this was really well put 


@_android654_ I guess my point was that I was aware that my inquiries on the man thread seemed personal as well. but they were of a different subject matter, or maybe men are more polite not to draw attention to me asking about my silly questions, lol!


----------



## Jennywocky

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Because I'm reading it the way an NF would(or rather, as THIS NF would). I have actually defended posts when people say "but that was implied! why would I have to say that so specifically/detailed?" ... because we all think different so take in info different and so on ..


LOL! Okay, I see now. You are reading it like an NF or an NF like you; I of course am reading it more like an INTP, where I'm seeing underlying structure and trying to interpret its meaning in the whole scheme of things, in the way that it would most seem to make sense based on word choice, context, positioning, etc. 



> *Fair enough, *I myself have been guilty of wording things in a way that made people feel like what I was telling them was really me telling them they're wrong (which is never the case). For me, (and I'm still working on this), I have to take more care in how I say things as I'm often misunderstood. *insert rambly stuff* lol!


Communication is good, then, so things can be clarified before two people can end up thinking very differently things and not realizing it.



> I recognized that pattern. I also however recognize the pattern that things are taken too seriously It's just a question. I highly doubt they are implying that it directly applies to you specifically.


Well, to clarify, I wasn't thinking specifically about me. I just end up saying, "Okay, where does a question like that derive from?" I can't help doing that, that is what my mind does. Did you ever read The Elfstones of Shannara? The elfstones there were seeker stones, they search for the meaning/face behind things, like trying to get a sense of what iceberg might lie under the visual tip. My mind works like that, it just leaps around and behind things without me even having to think about it... it wants to grasp the underlying form and structure of what is seen.



> I can see how the wording is off. But I would not entertain it so seriously as to let it irritate me. On the flip side 2 people had a spat yesterday that had me irritated and all in a tizzy. So I suppose it is what it is *shrugs with smile*


It doesn't really tick me off. I just don't know exactly what is being requested, because the meaning/intent seems off. I do get based on your personality where you are coming from, your response makes sense now.



> I also want to make note that that poster is asking questions I feel many men want to ask. Same as me asking lots of those questions on the man thread. Some felt a little embarrassing to ask, but I knew that I am not the only woman who wants to know. Or at least that is what I tell myself


I don't mind the questions. I think the basic question itself was a great one, when it was asked. I enjoyed thinking about it and giving an answer. 



Ningsta Kitty said:


> I think this was really well put


Thank you. It was one of those things that sounded right to me once it came out, but the answer kind of surprised me as I was writing it, i had no idea where I was going!


----------



## searcheagle

At what age did you start planning your wedding? How often do/did you think about it before it happened? And for those married, how close was it to what you imagined?


----------



## sleepyhead

searcheagle said:


> At what age did you start planning your wedding? How often do/did you think about it before it happened? And for those married, how close was it to what you imagined?


Never did. Haven't thought about it. If I do get married to my partner, it will be after I have kids but neither of us really cares.

Also, if it was important to my partner I would do it, but I would want to elope or just go to city hall. I don't like being the centre of attention and the idea of a wedding gives me anxiety. I like going to other peoples though.


----------



## Dragearen

Ningsta Kitty said:


> what do I think of men in skirts? ... is he straight from Scotland? Why pigeon hold yourself? that is what I would be thinking. What's the point of making a fashion statement just for the sake of "not conforming" ? ... I am not a fan of men nor women who protest/or do things so as to appear (make a stand) about non conformity just for the sake of non conformity as if they're some _martyr_. How about not limiting/isolating yourself from the general public and use your mind to speak out and influence people to your way of thinking (opposed to being a walking billboard for a case no one cares about because no one is being taking seriously). It would be hard for me to take him seriously.
> 
> now if a man is wearing a skirt because he individually authentically wants to because he likes how the boys can feel the wind through their hair ... no problem then, whatever floats your boat


It would be a mistake to think that Bravehearts wear skirts only as a statement. That is certainly a part of it, yes. But the biggest reason is simply because they want to. I agree with you, there are some people who do things just for the sake of standing out, and it gets rather tiresome at times. But there are other people who may want to stand out, but mainly do it because they want to do it. Bravehearts are these kinds of people.


----------



## JaySH

android654 said:


> Perhaps I'm assuming too much, but when I read it, it sounded like it was coming from some place personal. As in a personal experience that was exposed more and more as he wrote the question. At least that's how I saw it.


Well, I can't say this subject hasn't come up in relationships but I have only purchased 1 ring. It was a 3 stone, white gold, platinum setting and total weight was just under 1 carat. She never complained and seemed excited about it, even though our relationship was more about trying to do what was right for our child (as much as we both tried convincing ourselves otherwise). 

My last relationship of 4 yrs was with a woman for whom it did matter to. But, she was pretty honest in answering me as to why it mattered to her. We never made it to engagement though...I couldn't afford it (jk, lol). It just didn't work out.

Honestly, it matters to me. I wouldn't want the woman I love looking at her ring and thinking she should be embarrassed to show it or being worried someone might make a comment such as "nice chip", so, I am not against it mattering. I was just curious what the different reasons behind it were, for those who were in love. 

I don't have any emotional scars regarding this and am not sure I see why it read that way but, obviously it did to some.


----------



## petite libellule

<--- address temporary derailment ticket to this posters wall 



Jennywocky said:


> Well, to clarify, I wasn't thinking specifically about me. I just end up saying, "Okay, where does a question like that derive from?" I can't help doing that, that is what my mind does. Did you ever read The Elfstones of Shannara? The elfstones there were seeker stones, they search for the meaning/face behind things, like trying to get a sense of what iceberg might lie under the visual tip. My mind works like that, it just leaps around and behind things without me even having to think about it... it wants to grasp the underlying form and structure of what is seen.
> 
> I look for underlying meanings too! but super differently. I look at word choice and structure (the sequence specifically) of how things are said and when. I sit back and absorb for longer periods of time to see patterns but absolutely always notice patterns. (I used to idealize them way more then I do now. I think about them more and use more logic then when I was young. which was yesterday ).
> 
> But the underlying "stuff" if you will, the stuff I look for is the meaning that has to do with feeling. Not so much concrete points. I look for the feeling and then judge the point accordingly (which may be a flaw now that I'm dissecting my thinking ) In other words, (example) there was a girl that threw up this crazy thread and everyone was in an emotional uproar. It was about offing disabled kids which irl, my son has autism so of course I'm not happy. But I came from the position of , _what is this meaning, _regarding the posters _feelings_.
> 
> Now a lot of people were arguing the concrete point. I wouldn't even entertain it because I knew the underlying meaning was "I'm angry and not feeling loved in this world. and why should we as a society put all this money and love towards kids that can't contribute to society. what about me?!" And low and behold, another thread was put up about her asking for just that, someone to care about her. for help.
> 
> sorry I'm rambling. the "concrete point" lol, the point I'm trying to make here (and why I would never be good at debating) is it's hard for my brain to entertain facts coming out of mouth of fiction. I always try to sift out the meaning regarding the persons feelings. No one is a robot. So how I proceed in thought about any said such scenario is tempered with "what is going on with that person" first. then I argue point. BLAH! It took me ten years to GET to a point! which I'm not even sure I communicated correctly! ... -_- this is why I'm not a "thinker"


----------



## petite libellule

Dragearen said:


> It would be a mistake to think that Bravehearts wear skirts only as a statement. That is certainly a part of it, yes. But the biggest reason is simply because they want to. I agree with you, there are some people who do things just for the sake of standing out, and it gets rather tiresome at times. But there are other people who may want to stand out, but mainly do it *because they want to do it.* Bravehearts are these kinds of people.


exactly, like I said. If they authentically want to that's awesome!

This is not to say I wouldn't tease them a bit  (not everyday. Just the once )
and if it were a man of character, he'd play into the teasing and win me over ... 

I really don't care what a person looks like, but I am human so I will notice. I tend to get to know people in a very deep connection NF-ish way. So after time, I wouldn't notice it being different - it would be chalked up as just another individual thing about that person. 

Out of curiosity, WHY do they want to wear them?


----------



## petite libellule

searcheagle said:


> At what age did you start planning your wedding? How often do/did you think about it before it happened? And for those married, how close was it to what you imagined?


I didn't start planning my wedding ever. What age did I start to first fantasize about it? maybe 10 or 11? Not sure. I remember the different scenarios I was stuck on. They changed throughout the years. I was married really young. I met him last yr. of high school pretty much. I started dating him at 17, married at 19. We ran off in _luuuuuuuuv_. NO WHERE NEAR the fantasy


----------



## Dragearen

Ningsta Kitty said:


> exactly, like I said. If they authentically want to that's awesome!
> 
> This is not to say I wouldn't tease them a bit  (not everyday. Just the once )
> and if it were a man of character, he'd play into the teasing and win me over ...
> 
> I really don't care what a person looks like, but I am human so I will notice. I tend to get to know people in a very deep connection NF-ish way. So after time, I wouldn't notice it being different - it would be chalked up as just another individual thing about that person.
> 
> Out of curiosity, WHY do they want to wear them?


Depends from person to person. Generally it's a matter of comfort. Skirts were designed for the male body, and they suit it better than on a woman (not necessarily in terms of appearance, but in terms of practicality). That is the other major reason, practicality.


----------



## android654

How does this quote strike you?

"Marriage, all in all, is a cowardly method that tries to subdue love through torture." - Kyoka Izumi


----------



## Perhaps

searcheagle said:


> At what age did you start planning your wedding? How often do/did you think about it before it happened? And for those married, how close was it to what you imagined?


I decided at a very young age that there would never be a ceremony, since I don't particularly like my extended family, and thus do not want to pay for the "privilege" of entertaining them while being stuck in an uncomfortable dress for an afternoon. Those thousands of dollars could be better spent in travel and hedonism.


----------



## All in Twilight

android654 said:


> How does this quote strike you?
> 
> "Marriage, all in all, is a cowardly method that tries to subdue love through torture." - Kyoka Izumi


That is what mostly happens but that is not its intention of course. Personally I'd like to stay detached and I don't want to impose restrictions on my partner. I think marriage is born out of fear. Fear of losing the other, fear of not getting the recognition you desire etc. This can not serve as a foundation for love of course.


----------



## Jennywocky

android654 said:


> How does this quote strike you?
> 
> "Marriage, all in all, is a cowardly method that tries to subdue love through torture." - Kyoka Izumi


*suspiciously tries to figure out what you mean by that*
^^^ ha ha 


I dunno. I laughed. I get the joke, although I think marriage also can create a protective boundary within which love can grow. It really depends on the couple.

... darn, and there I go overanalyzing it... *doh*


----------



## carlaviii

android654 said:


> How does this quote strike you?
> 
> "Marriage, all in all, is a cowardly method that tries to subdue love through torture." - Kyoka Izumi


I disagree with Izumi-san. And with All In Twilight. 

Marriage is a partnership for mutual support in facing the tribulations of life. That was the ideal I had at the time, at least. (no, didn't fantasize about the ceremony as a kid, didn't need a shiny rock) Needless to say, it's not what I got and... well, it's complicated. 'Nuff said.


----------



## hela

searcheagle said:


> At what age did you start planning your wedding? How often do/did you think about it before it happened? And for those married, how close was it to what you imagined?


I've never thought about it. Most of my friends are obsessed with planning their weddings on Pinterest, though. I don't get it... why are you cooing over paper lanterns and his and her bidets? 

I have never been married.


----------



## WickerDeer

JaySH said:


> When a man proposes, how much weight is placed on the size of the diamond engagement ring for you?
> 
> How small is too small?
> 
> How big is too big?
> 
> If the engagement is about love, and he has shown through both actions and gestures that he loves you, and you love him, why does the size if the diamond on the engagement ring matter at all?
> 
> Shouldn't it be the thought that counts?
> 
> Isn't the strength and purity of the love between you what matters?


So I've been proposed to twice.

The first time the man was so unsure of what I wanted for a ring that I ended up showing him a store (it was a store where local artists sold their hand-crafted stuff--economical but supporting the local artistic community.

He ended up choosing a blue sapphire ring--it had a large rectangular gem and the band was large. 

I was disappointed because it reminded me of a car headlight. I couldn't help but wonder at how he would think that that style was suited to me. I may be obstinate and stuff, but I am also delicate and I don't need to wear men's rings. 

This really reflected a bit on our relationship as he was always trying to get me to lead him (or he would try to lead me) and I didn't want to be in a relationship where one person led the other--people need to follow their own paths.

I ended up donating that ring to an auction to support refugees in Darfur. 

The second time I was proposed to, it was on top of a beautiful, sparkling, snow capped mountain. But then, he popped in this David Bowie song about wind and he gave me a ring that was really cheap. And I mean REALLY cheap. I am not super materialistic but I can tell when something is mass produced.

I ended up finally talking to him about how it bothered me (I felt uncomfortable wearing it in public because of how people would react--that people would look at it and realize how little he really thought of me. 

He told me it was less than $15 and that he did that as a "just in case" ring because he didn't know if I would accept or not. That he could just get me another one if I did. It's like--this man had spent THOUSANDS of dollars on his own sports equipment but he only spent $15 on his engagement ring? It really bothered me.

It is the thought that counts, and that thought can be displayed in a ring choice.

I've always wanted to craft a wedding ring (not engagement) that was a band engraved with "In perfect love and perfect trust." But I realized that none of my relationships have come close to that statement. 

It is the strength of love that matters--but in a formal ritual like engagement, people can stand to transmute some meaning into the materials. I'd spent hours of my life researching and cooking meals from his childhood culture. I'd spent hours cutting his hair. once I gave him a present of cut flowers that I'd spent hours arranging perfectly into a frame. I'd have liked a little thought put into the kind of engagement ring that would fit a marriage between us.


----------



## JaySH

meltedsorbet said:


> So I've been proposed to twice.
> 
> The first time the man was so unsure of what I wanted for a ring that I ended up showing him a store (it was a store where local artists sold their hand-crafted stuff--economical but supporting the local artistic community.
> 
> He ended up choosing a blue sapphire ring--it had a large rectangular gem and the band was large.
> 
> I was disappointed because it reminded me of a car headlight. I couldn't help but wonder at how he would think that that style was suited to me. I may be obstinate and stuff, but I am also delicate and I don't need to wear men's rings.
> 
> This really reflected a bit on our relationship as he was always trying to get me to lead him (or he would try to lead me) and I didn't want to be in a relationship where one person led the other--people need to follow their own paths.
> 
> I ended up donating that ring to an auction to support refugees in Darfur.
> 
> The second time I was proposed to, it was on top of a beautiful, sparkling, snow capped mountain. But then, he popped in this David Bowie song about wind and he gave me a ring that was really cheap. And I mean REALLY cheap. I am not super materialistic but I can tell when something is mass produced.
> 
> I ended up finally talking to him about how it bothered me (I felt uncomfortable wearing it in public because of how people would react--that people would look at it and realize how little he really thought of me.
> 
> He told me it was less than $15 and that he did that as a "just in case" ring because he didn't know if I would accept or not. That he could just get me another one if I did. It's like--this man had spent THOUSANDS of dollars on his own sports equipment but he only spent $15 on his engagement ring? It really bothered me.
> 
> It is the thought that counts, and that thought can be displayed in a ring choice.
> 
> I've always wanted to craft a wedding ring (not engagement) that was a band engraved with "In perfect love and perfect trust." But I realized that none of my relationships have come close to that statement.
> 
> It is the strength of love that matters--but in a formal ritual like engagement, people can stand to transmute some meaning into the materials. I'd spent hours of my life researching and cooking meals from his childhood culture. I'd spent hours cutting his hair. once I gave him a present of cut flowers that I'd spent hours arranging perfectly into a frame. I'd have liked a little thought put into the kind of engagement ring that would fit a marriage between us.


Thank you for sharing....those are great answers. $15? That guy sounds like a jackass...I was worried when I only spent well, it as more than that. You deserved better. 

"In perfect love and perfect trust"< that is beautiful. You'll find him eventually..and he'll be 1 lucky guy.

On crafting rings and things: when I was in first/second grade I made these rings out of tin foil (gemstone) and cut pieces of metal coat hangers (ring)...I put a lot of effort into them and gave them to the little girls who I thought were cool but seemed to be withdrawn and quiet, to make them smile (and cause I thought they were cute). I was so embarrassed doing it though..I was like beat red in the face. :blushed:

Anyway, thank you for sharing:happy:


----------



## RetroVortex

JaySH said:


> Thank you for sharing....those are great answers. $15? That guy sounds like a jackass...I was worried when I only spent $1400.
> 
> "In perfect love and perfect trust"< that is beautiful. You'll find him eventually..and he'll be 1 lucky guy.
> 
> On crafting rings and things: when I was in first/second grade I made these rings out of tin foil (gemstone) and cut pieces of metal coat hangers (ring)...I put a lot of effort into them and gave them to the little girls who I thought were cool but seemed to be withdrawn and quiet, to make them smile (and cause I thought they were cute). I was so embarrassed doing it though..I was like beat red in the face. :blushed:
> 
> Anyway, thank you for sharing:happy:


D'awww! That's so sweet!

I wouldn't have ever done that as a kid. Far too timid.
But I always made an effort to help people when they asked me.

Also that guy sounds like an ass! 
I mean if I ever wanted to get married, I would either just ask over dinner (if I didn't have any money, and even then, I'd likely hold off until I had enough to at least get a ring!) or find a more creative way of proposing.
I kind of like the idea of a hand-crafted ring though.
maybe make a nice temporary one out of wood,with engravings. 
Though knowing me I'd botch it up! XD
(Woodworks was never a good class for me! XD)

Or I dunno, find something my gal would be passionate about and try to incorporate a proposal into it.
(Then again. I've never been sure about marriage. It's not just an age thing, I just kind of feel its unnecessary. Monogamy? Yes. But Marriage can be messy legally too...

What do you gals think about it? Marriage? At the technical level.


----------



## VioletTru

hela said:


> Incredibly annoying. Diets are one of the most boring topics of all time, and in my area they're considered a "safe" topic (ala the weather) and a form of social bonding. I wouldn't care about it as much if this social expectation of women didn't lead to people questioning me whenever they see me eating brussels sprouts or something for lunch: Are you dieting? :angry: No, I just like to eat healthily. Maybe I just like brussels sprouts, they're good with olive oil and balsamic. Same goes for exercise: I ask someone if they want to work out with me, and it's all OH ARE YOU TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT??
> 
> No, asshole. It's the healthy thing to do. This shit is b-a-n-a-n-a-s
> 
> It's never about women taking care of their health, but always about conforming to societal standards. There could be a 92-year-old grandmother on the treadmill and it'd be all ARE YOU TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT?? There needs to be more of a focus on women's overall health, rather than the vagina! or the waistline! Same for men, ty. But that's a different topic.
> 
> The social pressure used to get to me when I was a kid, because the women in my family are all Kate Moss thin: 5'10", 110 lbs, etc. I ended up 5'6" with Hendricks ratios. This was a major source of conflict for a long time because they thought t&a would kill me and make me permanently unlovable (or rather, attract the "wrong kind" of attention). All of their attempts just ironically made me more rebellious, but I did try to get into Atkins in college. I quit bothering when I realized I wasn't ready for that kind of lifetime commitment to self-hatred.
> 
> Tl;dr: it gets to me in that it pisses me off, but I don't diet.


A little over 2 years ago, I attempted to work out on a regular basis in order to keep myself healthy, fit, and energized. I remember when the supervisor of the group that I used to volunteer for telling me, "You shouldn't work out; you're so skinny!" People really do mean well and are genuinely concerned. But no matter what size one may be, it is _always _important to get some form of exercise and eat healthily. Just as long as one doesn't overdo it, though.


----------



## Vanitas

searcheagle said:


> At what age did you start planning your wedding? How often do/did you think about it before it happened? And for those married, how close was it to what you imagined?


My plan is pretty much just one sentence : No kids allowed (or, leave your kids home). I'd rather have no wedding at all if that's not possible.

Ideal crowd is about 20-50, maybe.


----------



## petite libellule

meltedsorbet said:


> It's like--this man had spent THOUSANDS of dollars on his own sports equipment but he only spent $15 on his engagement ring? It really bothered me.


 omg! I think I KNOW that guy! LOL! No really, I DO! :tongue: (I loved that you shared that btw, and I smiled when you spoke about how the style was important for you. I mentioned that too. I think jewelry is a tough thing to buy unless you know that person well.) audrey hepburn said that you know what a man thinks of you by the earrings he buys you ... I always liked that thought. 




hela said:


> I quit bothering when I realized I wasn't ready for that kind of lifetime commitment to self-hatred.


 I SO relate to this statement. It's like, I want to look good and be healthy. But not THAT much! 

*
Random Set for the Ladies *

1. your guy gives you a blender for your birthday. what do you say/do?

2. your boyfriend of 2 yrs. forgets your birthday. what do you say/do? 

3. your guy friend forgets to pick up his (home made) birthday gift at the post office and it's returned to you. 
What do you say/do?

4. you go on a first date. and it's awesome. 
he drops you off at your door and drives away before you even got the keys out of your pocket.
Do you think about that?

5. the guy your seeing after 6 months decides to tell you of a shady past. do you stay?


----------



## hela

Ningsta Kitty said:


> *Random Set for the Ladies *
> 
> 1. your guy gives you a blender for your birthday. what do you say/do?


I'm excited.



> 2. your boyfriend of 2 yrs. forgets your birthday. what do you say/do?


This has happened before, it was nbd. I forgot his birthday, too. We made it up later.



> 3. your guy friend forgets to pick up his (home made) birthday gift at the post office and it's returned to you.
> What do you say/do?


Resend it.



> 4. you go on a first date. and it's awesome.
> he drops you off at your door and drives away before you even got the keys out of your pocket.
> Do you think about that?


Rude. If he contacted me after that, I'd say I wasn't interested in seeing him. 



> 5. the guy your seeing after 6 months decides to tell you of a shady past. do you stay?


It really depends on the definition of "shady." Pot dealer? Whatevs. Rapist? Please die.


----------



## mimesis

hela said:


> The social pressure used to get to me when I was a kid, because the women in my family are all Kate Moss thin: 5'10", 110 lbs, etc. I ended up 5'6" with Hendricks ratios. This was a major source of conflict for a long time because they thought t&a would kill me and make me permanently unlovable (or rather, attract the "wrong kind" of attention).


Kate Moss = 5'7"


----------



## hela

mimesis said:


> Kate Moss = 5'7"


----------



## WickerDeer

Ningsta Kitty said:


> omg! I think I KNOW that guy! LOL! No really, I DO! :tongue: (I loved that you shared that btw, and I smiled when you spoke about how the style was important for you. I mentioned that too. I think jewelry is a tough thing to buy unless you know that person well.) audrey hepburn said that you know what a man thinks of you by the earrings he buys you ... I always liked that thought.
> *
> I like that quote by Hepburn. And if you do know him--be aware! But one thing I've learned from talking in support groups for abuse was that there are many men who are similar and it's a good idea to look for that pattern.*
> 
> I SO relate to this statement. It's like, I want to look good and be healthy. But not THAT much!
> 
> *
> Random Set for the Ladies *
> 
> 1. your guy gives you a blender for your birthday. what do you say/do?
> *
> I like blenders--but sadly, I would probably wonder if it was the right blender. I would wonder if he got me the kind of blender that I really wanted because I'm pretty specific about my needs, blender-wise.*
> 
> 2. your boyfriend of 2 yrs. forgets your birthday. what do you say/do?
> *
> I would get upset at him and tell him how I felt. Then I would watch how he reacted and I would line that up with the other info I collected about him. Did he do that because he has a bad memory for it, or did he do it because he's a douchebag?* *And how did he react to being exposed to my feelings about it?*
> 
> 3. your guy friend forgets to pick up his (home made) birthday gift at the post office and it's returned to you.
> What do you say/do?
> 
> *I take it out of the box and use it myself * *And i think, man I made something derned awesome!*
> 
> 4. you go on a first date. and it's awesome.
> he drops you off at your door and drives away before you even got the keys out of your pocket.
> Do you think about that?
> *
> I think about his social aptitude. Does he seem like he's very nervous and might have just freaked out? Or does he seem like he knows how I would feel about it, and he's just blowing my personal safety off.*
> 
> 5. the guy your seeing after 6 months decides to tell you of a shady past. do you stay?


*
Good question. I think this is a good time to really look at my feelings. How do I feel about him? Do I feel like I trust him? Do I feel like I will ever be able to understand why or how he went through that? Is it that this particular incident is shaking my trust in him, or is it that it's confirming a growing doubt about him? I think that if it's confirming a growing doubt--better to explore that doubt, accept it, and use it to make my choice.*


----------



## sleepyhead

Ningsta Kitty said:


> *
> Random Set for the Ladies *
> 
> 1. your guy gives you a blender for your birthday. what do you say/do?
> 
> 2. your boyfriend of 2 yrs. forgets your birthday. what do you say/do?
> 
> 3. your guy friend forgets to pick up his (home made) birthday gift at the post office and it's returned to you.
> What do you say/do?
> 
> 4. you go on a first date. and it's awesome.
> he drops you off at your door and drives away before you even got the keys out of your pocket.
> Do you think about that?
> 
> 5. the guy your seeing after 6 months decides to tell you of a shady past. do you stay?


1. Pretending we don't already own a blender, I would probably like it. 

2. I wouldn't care too much, I don't mind when little fuss is made. Although with my boyfriend I seriously doubt this is ever a scenario we'll encounter. He often makes a bit more of a fuss than i want.

3. Call him up and ask what's up.

4. Assuming, like you said, the rest of the date was awesome, I probably wouldn't notice.

5. It would completely depend on the circumstances, what was confessed, why it was kept secret, etc.


----------



## Sina

@_Ningsta Kitty_
*
1. your guy gives you a blender for your birthday. what do you say/do?*

Say thanks. Inaugurate it with a green smoothie.
*
2. your boyfriend of 2 yrs. forgets your birthday. what do you say/do? *

Tell him I'm disappointed. I wouldn't be angry or anything, because the whole birthday thing isn't too important to me. But, I'd feel a bit bad. I'd wait until the next day or two after my birthday to see if remembers. I'd like to believe he just forgot, and maybe seeing his daily planner or whatever would remind him. If 2 days were to pass and he continued to remain oblivious, I'd tell him I was disappointed. I don't like to make a big deal of such stuff, and emotional hurt is hard for me to communicate anyway. 
*
3. your guy friend forgets to pick up his (home made) birthday gift at the post office and it's returned to you. 
What do you say/do?*

Call him and ask what's up.
*
4. you go on a first date. and it's awesome. 
he drops you off at your door and drives away before you even got the keys out of your pocket.
Do you think about that?*

Since the date went well, I wouldn't care.
*
5. the guy your seeing after 6 months decides to tell you of a shady past. do you stay?*

How shady? Where is he now? I don't mind a person who's made wrong decisions as long as they eventually found the right track, stuck with it, have demonstrated commitment to a better life and are firm on not repeating the mistakes of the past. Ex child molester/rapist/drug abuser would cause me to end it.

@_JaySH_



> When a man proposes, how much weight is placed on the size of the diamond engagement ring for you?
> 
> How small is too small?
> 
> How big is too big?
> 
> If the engagement is about love, and he has shown through both actions and gestures that he loves you, and you love him, why does the size if the diamond on the engagement ring matter at all?
> 
> Shouldn't it be the thought that counts?
> 
> Isn't the strength and purity of the love between you what matters?


I don't want a diamond ring. Anyone who dates me knows that I object to conflict diamonds, blood diamonds and the slavery and exploitation involved in the diamond trade. I refuse to contribute to the purchase of materials obtained by slave hands, only for a sparkling piece of rock and its superficial symbolic value. 

I don't want a platinum ring. I don't care much for jewels. They don't really do much for me. I do like this simple waveform design and find it romantic, and it's not very expensive either. It's creative. I'd like to scout around for more ideas, so I can find something spunky and off-beat. My SO and I make for an unconventional couple anyway lol.











And yes, in my life, action is eloquence. I want respect, love, admiration, commitment, honour, fortitude, honesty. As long as his actions meet the criteria shared and line up with his words, I don't ask for anything else. Romance has its place, but there are far more important things in life. 

If someone were more traditional and insisted on buying me a piece of jewelry, I'd tell them not to bother with diamonds. I'd ask for a simple gold ring, at most. And, I'd prefer they'd spend within their means. I don't like overspending, and I don't like my partner to overspend, especially not on things I care little for.


----------



## Jennywocky

@Ningsta Kitty
*1. your guy gives you a blender for your birthday. what do you say/do?*

OMG!!! You seriously don't know how much I've wanted a blender but just can't afford to get one right now.
I'd be ecstatic.

*2. your boyfriend of 2 yrs. forgets your birthday. what do you say/do? *

I wait until a few days after to see if he remembers on his own, then find some way to make a joke about it and remind me. Birthdays are a weird thing. On one hand, I don't even care that much about getting a present from someone anymore. On the other hand, typically all a SO has to remember is Christmas, birthday, and maybe anniversary. 

A joke is good. And maybe teasing him on his birthday later, by pretending I forgot.

*3. your guy friend forgets to pick up his (home made) birthday gift at the post office and it's returned to you. 
What do you say/do?*

Ask what's up and if he had trouble finding the PO after their big move and all.

*4. you go on a first date. and it's awesome. 
he drops you off at your door and drives away before you even got the keys out of your pocket.
Do you think about that?*

I'd tuck it away in my head in case he never ever wants to come in (and then it's like, "uh, why?") But otherwise, slightly disappointed, yet happy about the date.

*5. the guy your seeing after 6 months decides to tell you of a shady past. do you stay?*
Depends on what type of shady "shady" is and whether he has broken away from it.


----------



## Jennywocky

Edited: Dupe post... sorry.  mods remove?


----------



## WickerDeer

Boss said:


> @_Ningsta Kitty_
> *
> 1. your guy gives you a blender for your birthday. what do you say/do?*
> 
> Say thanks. Inaugurate it with a green smoothie.
> *
> 2. your boyfriend of 2 yrs. forgets your birthday. what do you say/do? *
> 
> Tell him I'm disappointed. I wouldn't be angry or anything, because the whole birthday thing isn't too important to me. But, I'd feel a bit bad. I'd wait until the next day or two after my birthday to see if remembers. I'd like to believe he just forgot, and maybe seeing his daily planner or whatever would remind him. If 2 days were to pass and he continued to remain oblivious, I'd tell him I was disappointed. I don't like to make a big deal of such stuff, and emotional hurt is hard for me to communicate anyway.
> *
> 3. your guy friend forgets to pick up his (home made) birthday gift at the post office and it's returned to you.
> What do you say/do?*
> 
> Call him and ask what's up.
> *
> 4. you go on a first date. and it's awesome.
> he drops you off at your door and drives away before you even got the keys out of your pocket.
> Do you think about that?*
> 
> Since the date went well, I wouldn't care.
> *
> 5. the guy your seeing after 6 months decides to tell you of a shady past. do you stay?*
> 
> How shady? Where is he now? I don't mind a person who's made wrong decisions as long as they eventually found the right track, stuck with it, have demonstrated commitment to a better life and are firm on not repeating the mistakes of the past. Ex child molester/rapist/drug abuser would cause me to end it.
> 
> @_JaySH_
> 
> 
> 
> I don't want a diamond ring. Anyone who dates me knows that I object to conflict diamonds, blood diamonds and the slavery and exploitation involved in the diamond trade. I refuse to contribute to the purchase of materials obtained by slave hands, only for a sparkling piece of rock and its superficial symbolic value.
> 
> I don't want a platinum ring. I don't care much for jewels. They don't really do much for me. I do like this simple waveform design and find it romantic, and it's not very expensive either. It's creative. I'd like to scout around for more ideas, so I can find something spunky and off-beat. My SO and I make for an unconventional couple anyway lol.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And yes, in my life, action is eloquence. I want respect, love, admiration, commitment, honour, fortitude, honesty. As long as his actions meet the criteria shared and line up with his words, I don't ask for anything else. Romance has its place, but there are far more important things in life.
> 
> If someone were more traditional and instead on buying me a piece of jewelry, I'd tell them not to bother with diamonds. I'd ask for a gold ring, at most, out of respect for them. And, I'd prefer they'd spend within their means. I don't like overspending, and I don't like my partner to overspend, especially not on things I care little for.


Those rings are awesome. Is there a reason why the gold one and the silver one have different waves? Are they a measurement of some word or just a pitch? Is it supposed to represent heartbeats? (I don't know much about sound waves).


----------



## Sina

@meltedsorbet

I'll link you to the site. They have all the details. 
Here: Sakurako Shimizu


----------



## Brian1

Maybe I'm buying into media hype, I guess I'm thinking of the material girl slant that Madonna gave us, but, if a guy isn't making enough money to buy you presents will you walk away from that, or are the Beatles on to something when money can't buy you love?

This of course implys shallowness on the female part. I'm not trying to suggest that,but we men have to treat you right, right, and money sometimes helps?


----------



## Jennywocky

Brian1 said:


> Maybe I'm buying into media hype, I guess I'm thinking of the material girl slant that Madonna gave us, but, if a guy isn't making enough money to buy you presents will you walk away from that, or are the Beatles on to something when money can't buy you love?


I'm not sure anyone here has demanded presents. 

One poster complained because she got a cheap ring, while her boyfriend would spend a buku amount of money on himself. It's the inequity -- and the fact that if he prioritized he even half as much as himself, she would have gotten a better ring -- that was the problem. He was cheap, but only with her. It would leave me wondering what it would be like if we were married; would he be taking all the money for his own things, leaving little resources for me? So it's a practical issue.

In a situation where you're both broke and don't have great jobs, I'm not sure bought gifts might even play a part. Some gifts do not cost anything. You can make gifts, if you have a talent. Or if you write, you can write a story or poem. Something that conveys you think your partner is special.

I can basically buy myself anything I need, so I do not NEED a present. But gifts (and not necessarily the prices, but what they are) can convey how well someone knows you and how much they care (if they invested time/energy in to the gift). I don't think there is a blanket rule.



> This of course implys shallowness on the female part. I'm not trying to suggest that,but we men have to treat you right, right, and money sometimes helps?


I'd like to make a joke about that, but it's too late and my brain is all fuzzy, like a cough drop that falls out my mouth by accident and rolls around on the carpet. (See? I'm tired!)

Money's nice, but it can also be a headache, and it's the context of the spending that says more, to me. And sometimes gifts are too extravagant. I mean, okay, what if you buy me a $45,000 engagement ring? Do you think I will be able to wear that around town or even the house, without constantly worrying about losing it or getting mugged by someone?


----------



## WickerDeer

Boss said:


> @_meltedsorbet_
> 
> I'll link you to the site. They have all the details.
> Here: Sakurako Shimizu



Thanks, it looks like maybe "I do" was used (because that was what the website cited)--but that is really exciting that they can etch any word into the ring. 

I also feel similar to you that the process of making the rings is important--no blood diamonds or unethically mined gold.


----------



## Sina

hela said:


> Have you ever gotten in a fist fight?
> 
> Who was your role model as a child?
> 
> Is Bella or Edward getting the worse deal?
> 
> What form of birth control do you use?



1. Yes, I have. 
2. Never had role models. Though, I was inspired by a couple of people-- my father topped the list when I was a child.
3. Never read Twilight. Don't care to.
4. I use an IUD. 



sleepyhead said:


> I've never faked. If I can't get there I just say so and we move on.


Same here. I suck at faking orgasms.




Dragearen said:


> Forgive me if any of these have already been asked:
> 
> Why do you wear high heels?* If you don't, why do you think other women do?
> *
> I usually don't. I have a balance disorder, and heels mess it up further. I don't find them very comfortable, anyway. Women wear them for aesthetic reasons.*
> 
> Same question, but with makeup.
> *
> I rarely use make-up. I am too impatient to do the whole nine yards lol. Though, I do like my waterproof mascara, lip gloss an kohl liner. I keep it simple. *
> 
> What do you think of men with long hair?
> *
> Love long hair on men.*
> 
> What do you think of Bravehearts**?
> 
> *Intriguing. I like them. *
> 
> _*Just a little tidbit, but the wearing of high heels actually originated in butcher's shops, so the butcher could walk around without getting his feet bloody.
> 
> **See Kiltmen.com - Bravehearts in Kilts_ _Bravehearts also include people_ _that wear MUGs (Male Unbifurcated Garments), and there is a subcategory of Ethnic Bravehearts, who wear only traditional MUGs, such as kilts, sarongs, fustanellas, etc._





android654 said:


> Would it be condescending if your husband/boyfriend/father of your child strongly suggested you quit your job or career in order to raise your child or tend to your home. How would you react?


 Tend to my home? Wtf? LOL He'd have to be a very silly man to say that tend to the home thing to me. 
The only time it would be sensible for my potential husband/current bf to say such a thing would be if he earned more than I do, had a more stable job at the time and could reasonably expect continued job security and higher income than I, and a child was on the way. I would only temporarily get away from my career to bear and raise a child. There's no way in hell I'd "quit" my career. Hell, I have a graduate degree and will end up with 2 more within 5-6 years. I've invested way too much time, effort and money into my education to "quit my career".


----------



## WickerDeer

Brian1 said:


> Maybe I'm buying into media hype, I guess I'm thinking of the material girl slant that Madonna gave us, but, if a guy isn't making enough money to buy you presents will you walk away from that, or are the Beatles on to something when money can't buy you love?
> 
> This of course implys shallowness on the female part. I'm not trying to suggest that,but we men have to treat you right, right, and money sometimes helps?


I think that you are missing how much meaning can be injected into a ritual like engagement. It's not about the physical value, but the value of the attention and thought. The idea, in my opinion, is to imbue some amount of care into an object--that object is to represent that meaning which it has been infused with. It is a means of COMMUNICATION (and hopefully an honest one).

I can see how it might be hard for some people to work with that kind of stuff--but as far as I'm concerned, the object and the ritual wouldn't be held higher than the individual I was in love with. And in a healthy relationship that love would be obvious and unshakable.

I don't know if your reply had to do with mine. I was only talking from personal example in my reply--it's not a rule. And it's not like I left him because of his ring. I finally left him because of ONE gift though. My birthday gift--he was making over five times as much money as me, and I had supported his acquisition of the job and his home life--and I asked one gift of him. 

(mad, slightly crazy looking face on) I asked him to be nice for an entire weekend--and that was it. I did not ask him to walk on eggshells because I was super easily upset--no, actually, by that time I had mastered the skill of keeping my emotions completely secret so that they couldn't be used against me and so that they wouldn't make him upset.

But by nice I meant, maybe he wouldn't flip out because the car radio was turned to a station he didn't like, AFTER I had asked him what he would like to listen to and he had whined that he didn't care...maybe he could forgive and forget because I offered to make him lunch instead of making it and putting it in front of him (as he asserted should have been done). MAYBE he would accept that if I ever dared to wear heels it wasn't because I was obsessed with having sex with any man who looked at me...(crazy face over).

But anyway--yeah, the material girl thing is a bunch of bolongi to me. But I did learn that maybe it is a good idea to measure a man's interest by measuring what he actually does--how much thought he puts into an important gift is one thing. But there are tons of other important things to consider. I am not the best judger. Appearances aren't always what they seem, and sometimes people might take advantage of others because they aren't particularly materialistic or status seeking (IMO). If I was the stereotypical pretentious snob, I doubt I would have gotten the situations I have.

Edit: and maybe to make the post more pertinent I should not use "pretentious snob." I may very well be that, but moreso I should use "materialist gold-digger" (like the Madonna song). I highly doubt I would have gotten in that kind of situation if I were motivated by materialism.


----------



## Wellsy

Have you at some point ever avoided something and blamed it on your period or something?
Eg Person asks you something you didn't do or were late for, something a rather and you just blamed it on lady issues.

Do you think men fully understand women's bodies in this way?


----------



## Sina

Wellsy said:


> Have you at some point ever avoided something and blamed it on your period or something?
> Eg Person asks you something you didn't do or were late for, something a rather and you just blamed it on lady issues.


Absolutely not. That's a pretty ridiculous cop out lol, unless you really were in a lot of discomfort. I do not recall (esp. needlessly) blaming anything on my period. 



> Do you think men fully understand women's bodies in this way?


Which way?


----------



## Jennywocky

hela said:


> My main problem is how they rule 34 the shit out of everything:


Sigh. First Mickey steamboated Willie, now Chuckie is motoboating.... who exactly? Twilight Sparkle? :shocked:


----------



## Vanitas

HonestAndTrue said:


> More concise:
> Contestant #1: I spent 10 hours over the last 5 girls, I know what works. No need to plan anymore.
> Contestant #2: What happens happens, no need to plan.
> Contestant #3: I'll study and plan 2-3 hours specific to the girl for every hour to make sure it's perfect for her.
> 
> If forced to pick, which of these three?


2. But I'll keep an eye on my wallet/belongings/safety.

1 would be boring and 3 is stalker and/or serial killer creepy. Also, 3 would have the most baggage / expectations for me-- what if he's wrong and it's not perfect? What if his sources are questionable? _Who are these sources, anyway? _


----------



## All in Twilight

Mr. Meepers said:


> What is love? ... baby don't hurt me, Don't hurt me ... no more :tongue:
> We already have a thread to that question and if you wish to know my personal concept of what I believe love is (and if you don't mind reading one of my longer posts, which there is a link to a post of similar length that talks about inner beauty as that relates to my concept of love), you may check out the link below: ^__^
> http://personalitycafe.com/critical-thinking-philosophy/105515-what-love-exactly-3.html#post2757861
> 
> Although, going by my own definitions/concepts love and hate (of the same thing) can't be together ... Love and anger on the other hand go together quite nicely. Well, let me clarify something, I believe (and I only hold myself to this as this is a personal moral) that I should try to love everyone, but but but I am okay with hating people's actions and intentions, but I still love the people themselves (and try to see the best in them ... I'm doubt I can truly do that, but that does not mean I should not strive to be like that). So, I suppose love and hate can exist together in a way towards someone.
> 
> Now, anger and love ... I have been angry at those who hurt the people I deeply love, but I have also been angry at the people I deeply love because I deeply love them and what they say and do matters to me so much more! If someone I deeply care about hurts me, it hurts so much deeper (if I did not have such strong feelings towards them, I might not even care) and I will get angry because I am hurt and disappointed in them, but I still care about them so much and I still want to see them be so happy. ... If someone I deeply care about hates themselves and refuses, absolutely refuses to help themselves, their pain will hurt me too and I may feel anger towards them (although, I may only show compassion at first, but I have shown "tough" love a couple times in my life).
> 
> You said, "I love my country and I will kill for it?" is not love ... What about "I love my family and I am willing to kill to protect them and bare the burden of living with myself afterwards"? ... The love might only be applied to the specific (Family), or there may be love towards the general (everyone) ... but such a person has placed a much higher value on his/her family than someone who is out to attack them. ... Perhaps we can love the specific and love the general (and we are put in positions that become so much harder and more heartbreaking to make).
> 
> Now I agree, with love comes forgiveness, but we also made to make decisions and we also should encourage others to grow ... just as others will encourage us to grow as well.
> 
> And we can love ourselves, by understanding ourselves and accept that we will always have flaws (and seeing that you are beautiful in your own way ... I think everyone has at least some beauty in them ^__^) ... but we can strive to be better by learning from our mistakes, listening (not necessarily believing) to others, and choosing to use our own pain to make us more compassionate and understanding ^__^
> 
> ^^ Well, that is my opinion at least ^__^
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> [HR][/HR]
> Note To Self: http://personalitycafe.com/sex-relationships/126961-im-woman-ask-me-anything-101.html


Thank you for your elaborate reply.

As for love and anger (or hate). Love is not the opposite of hate. Fear is the opposite of love. Out of fear, hate can be born. 
Ask yourself why they hurt you. It's mostly because they didn't get something they desired. They lashed out and they created division right there. If you understand this concept, you cannot get hurt ever. Let's say if you disagree with me now, and I get mad at you for disagreeing with me, then it was obvious that I wanted recognition for my intelligence so my act was selfish and the fault lies with me. I think you pitying me would be the most logical response and not feeling hurt. It's all about ego actually.

A country is abstract, made up by humans and their thoughts. Family members are not. I am not my country, I don't identify with my country. My country is killing in country X for whatever reason. That's not me. We made up borders (a thought) and borders can only lead to division among humans. 

The better you start to understand yourself, the easier it becomes to make peace with yourself. I grew up without love for example. I have no idea what it is to be loved by parents. A parent holding me telling me that he/she loves me is something I have never experienced. I do know that they are alcoholics with a temper.
later in my life I became prone to loneliness, anger, jealousy, scared to be abandoned when I was in a relationship and it ruined everyone of them. Now is that my parent's fault? No. It's mine. I wasn't able to overcome the split between subject and object. so my love for my SO was selfish. (See my post here addressed to Jennywocky, Ningsta Kitty and android654)
The reason my parents didn't love me was because they were tormented by their past as well. I pity them for they have never received love themselves. They weren't able to let go of that past and they trapped themselves withing that past never being able to see what is right in front of them. It's therefore crucial that you can distinguish your inferior emotions, observe them objectively and let go of them because they can only lead to destruction. A man not free of his past, can never be free. Can never understand the other because he can't see himself. 

Nowadays people can't hurt me no matter what. If I say the right words, I do the right things (no desires and expectations involved) without being trapped in my past or future, then the fault lies always withing the other and I serve as nothing more than their reflection. I have become their mirror.


----------



## All in Twilight

JaySH said:


> _Edit: I may agree with all of what you've written. I just know nothing of Buddhism and could, therefor, not honestly say that_.
> 
> I completely agree with the last 2 lines. Denying you feel them, denying yourself these emotions does not make you stronger or more evolved...it takes from you the opportunity to truly learn there are no limits to that which you can endure emotionally and the knowledge that hate and disappointment only enhance love and satisfaction/fulfillment , especially when it is for something you truly desire.
> @_All in Twilight_,
> 
> Your writing is beautiful and insightful and almost makes me want to agree with you. There may be a form of semantics going on here though, which, if it's the case, may mean I do agree with much of what you've written.
> 
> To me, it sounds as if you're stating you cannot have desire without expectation. I look at the 2 as separate things...I believe for desire you must have hope, but expectations must be managed in any and all things we desire. For many things in my life, I've aimed for perfection with the sincere gratification at reaching "damn close" to perfection. No disappointment ensued, though I did desire perfection, because I was fulfilled by what I achieved.
> 
> If I went to the beach on a rainy day, with the HOPES of recreating a past moment that did not include rain, I'd make a new memory (such as dancing and singing in the rain), for which I would hope to also recreate someday. But, if that was also thwarted by unforeseen circumstances I'd find other ways of being fulfilled! I wouldn't deny my desires...I just wouldn't let expectations for that which I desire control the memory I was making NOW.
> 
> And, for those desires and hopes for which I have no or limited control over, I want to feel pain and emerge a smarter, stronger and more enlightened me.
> 
> To never hurt and never fear,
> To never shed a single tear,
> This would mean I've never loved,
> Not deeply, honestly nor sincere
> 
> To deny desire and all hope
> Ignore my dreams just to cope
> This would mean I have not lived
> Or experienced all life has to give
> 
> 
> Sorry, seemed like a good topic for a short poem


I have no hope. Hope is not real. Hope is an illusion. There is only this moment. Me typing this gdrjgpafgp a gjb jn v to you. If you see something that was useful to you, then I am one happy dude. A journey of a 1000 miles starts with a single step of course.

I am strict, extremely strict and disciplined, but because I am already so familiar with this concept of mine, it has become easier to live up to it. For you this is all new. Start with a step and see where this will lead you.

Thank you for your poem. It's lovely. And believe me if I tell you that I have shed a lot of tears in my life and lived with my face thrown down in the mud. To build a solid foundation for the rest of your life, we have to understand what this mud is, remove this mud and we can start building on the perfect soil. The ornaments will follow in time.


----------



## JaySH

All in Twilight said:


> I have no hope. Hope is not real. Hope is an illusion. There is only this moment. Me typing this gdrjgpafgp a gjb jn v to you. If you see something that was useful to you, then I am one happy dude. A 1000 miles starts with a single step of course.
> 
> I am strict, extremely strict and disciplined, but because I am already so familiar with this concept of mine, it has become easier to live up to. For you this is all new. Start with a step and see where this will lead you.
> 
> Thank you for your poem. It's lovely. And believe me if I tell you that I have shed a lot of tears in my life and lived with my face thrown down in the mud. To build a solid foundation for the rest of your life, we have to understand what this mud is, remove this mud and we can start building on the perfect soil. The ornaments will follow in time.


You have given me something to think about when trying to understand others but...it doesn't apply to me. I respect you and your views, a lot, from what I've seen throughout the forum. That said, living life truly devoid of desire and hope sounds to me to be empty and lonely...although, from an emotional standpoint, safe. 

As stupid a relation as this is, I think of the 80's movie "My Stepmother is an Alien". In the end, when she is explaining to a fellow alien, and leader of her kind, why she wants to stay, she brings up many human vulnerabilities that, in her world, were so foreign to her. She desired all those things enough to leave her world.

I like that I can be strong yet still vulnerable to emotional pain and disappointment. A life without such things would not fulfill me. When I found out my mother had a lump on her chest and had not been seen by a doctor because she had no hope, I was crushed. She let it go too long but lived for 1 yr after diagnosis and probably wouldn't have made it 3 months without medical help. Her hope was limited to 5 yrs at best and 3 months at worst...but she fought. Still, something died inside her once she knew she would not live much longer. She had a very progressive stage 4 cancer and she was, in many ways, empty. I hoped she would live longer. I desired another 20 yrs with her...or at least the 5 they had said was possible. I managed my expectations though. I was still crushed...hardest thing I have ever, ever been through. And, I wouldn't give back all those feelings for the world...unless it meant I wouldn't lose her. 

So, yes, your insight is helpful. But, it just isn't for me, other than a way to relate to others.

For the women: 

Have you ever lost anyone close to you?

Do you think there are generally different roles for men and women (not written rules or expectations necessarily but, naturally occurring) when it comes to tragic loss, in terms of helping each other cope?


----------



## milti

JaySH said:


> So, moving on:
> 
> What is the absolute best date story you have, be it first, anniversary or random date with an SO?


Hmm... Wow, I'm really having to think here... I have more easily accessible "bad date" stories, LOL. Aah... Let's see. Does hooking up in the dark beside a mosquito-filled lake count? :tongue: 

My dates are really boring, to be honest. I'm a person who likes a quiet night, a long walk, un-hurried stuff like that. But one of my favourite times out with a boyfriend was (not a 'date' per se, just a day out) when we went to a fun park. :tongue: I'm serious. We took rides, we held hands on the ferris wheel rides, we rode horses, we did some cool stuff.

The other one I can think of is Valentine's Day 2011. We went out for dinner (planned) and he gave me a bouquet (I knew that was coming) but he also had a bag of Archie comics for me because he knew how much I loved them. We hooked up that night (bonus!) and that's when we decided we wanted to "go out" for real.

There's this one other time - I won't count it as the greatest date ever, but it was quite a moment. We were at a sports bar watching the final World Cup (cricket) match between India and Pakistan - and, well - India won. The celebrations that followed were pretty cool. I _think_ he had fun dancing on the streets?  (he's American) Lol, well, I'm not the greatest cricket fan but it was a pretty good date anyway.

Edit - So on further reflection, I realise that my happiest/best dates have been ones where we've literally done nothing. Sitting in a coffee shop chatting, flirting, making out when no one's watching (lol it seemed like so much fun when I was younger), taking random drives out of town... I like keeping it simple. I'm really just a fan of sitting in a nice hangout that has seating and A/C and talking the time away.


----------



## JaySH

milti said:


> Hmm... Wow, I'm really having to think here... I have more easily accessible "bad date" stories, LOL. Aah... Let's see. Does hooking up in the dark beside a mosquito-filled lake count? :tongue:
> 
> My dates are really boring, to be honest. I'm a person who likes a quiet night, a long walk, un-hurried stuff like that. But one of my favourite times out with a boyfriend was (not a 'date' per se, just a day out) when we went to a fun park. :tongue: I'm serious. We took rides, we held hands on the ferris wheel rides, we rode horses, we did some cool stuff.
> 
> The other one I can think of is Valentine's Day 2011. We went out for dinner (planned) and he gave me a bouquet (I knew that was coming) but he also had a bag of Archie comics for me because he knew how much I loved them. We hooked up that night (bonus!) and that's when we decided we wanted to "go out" for real.
> 
> There's this one other time - I won't count it as the greatest date ever, but it was quite a moment. We were at a sports bar watching the final World Cup (cricket) match between India and Pakistan - and, well - India won. The celebrations that followed were pretty cool. I _think_ he had fun dancing on the streets?  (he's American) Lol, well, I'm not the greatest cricket fan but it was a pretty good date anyway.
> 
> Edit - So on further reflection, I realise that my happiest/best dates have been ones where we've literally done nothing. Sitting in a coffee shop chatting, flirting, making out when no one's watching (lol it seemed like so much fun when I was younger), taking random drives out of town... I like keeping it simple. I'm really just a fan of sitting in a nice hangout that has seating and A/C and talking the time away.



Simple dates offer better connections between the 2...it isn't so much what you do as much as who you do it with, IMO. 

I am curious why yo mentioned he was American (not offended, just wasn't sure the relation or importance). 

Anywho, they sound like great dates, especially the second one :tongue: Jk. The first actually sounds like it was the most fun and memorable. 

Thanks for sharing :wink:


----------



## Mr. Nostalgia

I have a question for any/all women who participate:
What does sex feel like for a woman? I've always wondered that as a man, what do women feel/experience in it? It's utterly alien to me.


----------



## Jennywocky

JaySH said:


> Have you ever lost anyone close to you?


Good question. It's odd -- I've experienced much feelings of loss, though not necessarily via the death of someone I was close to. I don't think any of my closest friends of family have died. But I've lost relationships (including the ending of a marriage, as well as some life changes that led to loss of relationship between some friends and family despite my best efforts), and those things still rest heavy on me and color my perspective and expectations.

I've definitely had to deal with friends who have lost people they loved, so I got to be the sounding board and a pillar of support. One of my personal contributions (not really related to gender) is that I could give them a framework to explore their emotions at a time when some people don't know what to say or say things that might not be the best long-term.



> Do you think there are generally different roles for men and women (not written rules or expectations necessarily but, naturally occurring) when it comes to tragic loss, in terms of helping each other cope?


Typically women seem to have better social structures into place in terms of emotional support, and less restrictions on the sharing of emotions. I think it's easier for women to recognize their emotions overall, express them, and work through them. There is no stigma on us for engaging our emotions. Men don't really have as many avenues for that kind of thing.

however, maybe the male tendency to just go with things and not be caught up as emotionally within them might provide more stability in terms of getting practical things accomplished.

I have trouble telling which is better. It depends partly on what you need done. And of course there are individuals across the gender divide who might be better at things across the divide.


----------



## JaySH

Jennywocky said:


> Good question. It's odd -- I've experienced much feelings of loss, though not necessarily via the death of someone I was close to. I don't think any of my closest friends of family have died. But I've lost relationships (including the ending of a marriage, as well as some life changes that led to loss of relationship between some friends and family despite my best efforts), and those things still rest heavy on me and color my perspective and expectations.
> 
> I've definitely had to deal with friends who have lost people they loved, so I got to be the sounding board and a pillar of support. One of my personal contributions (not really related to gender) is that I could give them a framework to explore their emotions at a time when some people don't know what to say or say things that might not be the best long-term.
> 
> 
> 
> Typically women seem to have better social structures into place in terms of emotional support, and less restrictions on the sharing of emotions. I think it's easier for women to recognize their emotions overall, express them, and work through them. There is no stigma on us for engaging our emotions. Men don't really have as many avenues for that kind of thing.
> 
> however, maybe the male tendency to just go with things and not be caught up as emotionally within them might provide more stability in terms of getting practical things accomplished.
> 
> I have trouble telling which is better. It depends partly on what you need done. And of course there are individuals across the gender divide who might be better at things across the divide.



I will say, in my experience, men seem to seem less affected in social gatherings but, women seem to handle the day to day tasks of home better and I think it's a matter of returning to normalcy for them. I, as a man, went out, did projects, got super ambitious at work and let myself and my place/room go for a while...I was trying to not focus and needed more intense tasks to ignore it while the women (my sisters,namely) in my life tended to go at it more head on. They showed more emotion but dealt with it. I felt a lot of emotion but held it in. 

Initially I was trying to be strong for my sisters/brother with both the loss of my Grandfather and Mother. But...I remember 3 months after losing my mom, I broke down in the shower. I had a dream about her and, as much as I tried ignoring it, it all just came out...it was pretty pathetic..curled up in a fetal position in the shower after displaying "strength" for 3 months. 

I don't hold it in nearly as much now. Showing weakness to gain strength makes much more sense to me and, in my experience, women are far better at it. Similar to what you said, just from my own experience.


----------



## sleepyhead

HonestAndTrue said:


> It's the dating game. Three guys, pick which one you want to date.
> 
> Contestant #1: He's using a well rehearsed script. The last three women he's dated the first date has been to the same place, he asked the same questions, and each has lead to a second date but the relationships haven't lasted more than a few months at most.
> 
> Contestant #2: He shows up late and without a plan, what do you want to do? They usually find something to do. He says what he thinks but he's not the nicest to people. Did he just leave a tip and take money back thinking you weren't looking?
> 
> Contestant #3: A single rose. A great walk with stimulating conversation. Dinner at your favorite restaurant and he insists you order your favorite dish even if it is more expensive. He excuses himself to the restroom and you notice his phone unlocked. He's got a list of all of your interests, favorites, allergies, and a script specially designed for you that has been systematically but organically followed to the tee.
> 
> More concise:
> Contestant #1: I spent 10 hours over the last 5 girls, I know what works. No need to plan anymore.
> Contestant #2: What happens happens, no need to plan.
> Contestant #3: I'll study and plan 2-3 hours specific to the girl for every hour to make sure it's perfect for her.
> 
> If forced to pick, which of these three?


#3 sounds kind of scary. I wouldn't look at someone's phone anyway, but that would creep me out.

Probably between 1-2 but neither sound great. I hate when I end up on a date with a guy and he just keeps trying to figure me out and tries to mold their personality to fit mine. I don't want that - I want to know what _you_ like too - I don't just want to talk about myself and my interests.

In the concise examples, #2.



JaySH said:


> What is the absolute best date story you have, be it first, anniversary or random date with an SO?


There's a few good ones. On my boyfriends birthday a couple of years ago we were in Barcelona. We went on a bike tour that ended up just being us and two tour guides and they took us to a little streetside cafe and we drank two bottles of wine and after the tour the four of us grabbed some lunch. Then bf and I walked all over Barcelona and went to Parc Guell at sunset and walked to the highest peak as the sun went down. We walked around the streets back to our B&B and then found a restaurant and had a late night dinner and another bottle of wine and then just finished the evening by walking around our neighbourhood. It was just a really fun, low key, beautiful day.

On our anniversary we often will go check out antique stores or the farmers market and then drive outside the city to go for a hike or walk in the woods. There's some really beautiful places to walk in and outside of my city. We've typically ended the day with a nice dinner and dessert at home. I love these kind of days.

Other good dates are when we go hiking or skiing or bike riding through the city all day.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Do you like getting grossed out a little?
> Like when guys say gross jokes and it's gross but you laugh.


No, I don't. I don't like gross humour or jokes at all. My guy isn't that into them either, but he saves that stuff for his friends. 



Mr. Nostalgia said:


> I have a question for any/all women who participate:
> What does sex feel like for a woman? I've always wondered that as a man, what do women feel/experience in it? It's utterly alien to me.


In my conversation with other women, it's very individual. Some feel almost nothing, some feel like it's amazing, some can orgasm for intercourse, etc. 

For me personally, it feels very very good. There's no way I'll ever be able to have an orgasm from penetration alone, but that's fine by me (I can get off in other ways easily enough). I like starting with really slow movements that make me really aware of all the sensations - instinctualy, it just feels right. It feels like a fullness and almost an oversensitivity but in a good way. I really don't know how to fully put it into words.

My boyfriend hadn't had much experience when we got together and he couldn't understand why a woman would want to have intercourse if she couldn't have an orgasm from it - but it just feels sooooooo good, in a very different way from an orgasm.



JaySH said:


> For the women:
> 
> Have you ever lost anyone close to you?
> 
> Do you think there are generally different roles for men and women (not written rules or expectations necessarily but, naturally occurring) when it comes to tragic loss, in terms of helping each other cope?


The losses that have had the most impact on me (in order of most to least):
- my 19 year old cat (yes, she comes in first)
- my grandma
- my granddad
- my uncle

In my experience as a counsellor, it's an extremely individual experience that doesn't have much to do with gender. Some people can take it in stride and offer support to those around them. Some lose all sense of themselves and can't imagine offering support to others. Some lose a piece of their identities. Some lose virtually nothing. some go into denial. Some feel ashamed. It all just depends on the individual.

When my cat died, I was a wreck for a couple of weeks. However, I was prepared for and accepted that. I told my friends what I was going through, I told my partner I just needed him to hold me and listen to me and be prepared for random crying bouts. I wrote a lot in my journal and let myself sit in the sadness and when I felt the need to cry, I did. I knew grief as just something I needed to work through and there was nothing to be done about it.


----------



## Jennywocky

JaySH said:


> .I was trying to not focus and needed more intense tasks to ignore it while the women (my sisters,namely) in my life tended to go at it more head on. They showed more emotion but dealt with it. I felt a lot of emotion but held it in.


yes, I identify with that part.



> Initially I was trying to be strong for my sisters/brother with both the loss of my Grandfather and Mother. But...I remember 3 months after losing my mom, I broke down in the shower. I had a dream about her and, as much as I tried ignoring it, it all just came out...it was pretty pathetic..curled up in a fetal position in the shower after displaying "strength" for 3 months.


I'm sorry. That's hard... especially since it was your mom in the latter case and you were trying to be strong for everyone else. Although we all sometimes that. I remember when my dad almost died; I was in the room with him, and he had a cardiac arrest as I was holding his hand. So the staff coded him blue as I walked out into the main room, but my kids were there and I didn't want to scare them (they were much younger -- maybe the 5-9 years old range?) and I had to act like everything was okay. But it was very painful to have to stand there and hold things together while pretending everything was okay.

I was able to discuss it afterwards, though, which helped me work through it. I only had to hold it in temporarily.

To have to hold something in like that indefinitely would be horrific. It's no wonder your resolve finally gave out...


----------



## Jennywocky

Mr. Nostalgia said:


> I have a question for any/all women who participate:
> What does sex feel like for a woman? I've always wondered that as a man, what do women feel/experience in it? It's utterly alien to me.


For me, it's very intimate. The closeness of it is what amazes and attracts me. I mean, I enjoy orgasm; but like Sleepyhead said, orgasm isn't everything. The feeling of intimacy and closeness is a big deal to me. 

It's kind of hard to explain when I feel things are "in," if that is what you are asking. I can feel width more than length unless it's too long and bumps me. I think Redman also mentioned pain/pleasure being mixed and it's kind of that way at first, there can be discomfort as things stretch until I adjust to it.

Also, when things get pretty vigorous, I feel like I'm riding a wave and being buffeted about but in a good way, not a scary or bad way. (If I didn't feel comfortable with my partner, it could feel like a violent and scary experience; but that's what I mean about it being with someone I care about and trust -- because my feelings are positive, it's a wonderful and not scary experience.) sometimes I think I experience the repetitive hitting of two bodies more than the genital area per se, depending on angle.


----------



## JaySH

Jennywocky said:


> To have to hold something in like that indefinitely would be horrific. It's no wonder your resolve finally gave out...


Edit: forgot to say...thanks

Just to clarify, the length of time was more because of a very unsupportive SO, who made fun when I got choked up, and because of my son, who I didn't want to see me sad (he was only 3). Initially it was for my sisters but, they probably didn't need me to be. All are very strong people, especially my older sister (the oldest sibling). It helped me to think I was helping them though...even if it was unnecessary. 


Ok...moving on. 

How do you think the impact of "broken families" has affected youth who are a part of it?

How objectively do women look at men? Do abs, facial features and asses matter at all, very little or, not whatsoever? 

If there is one negative and one positive thing you think has come from all the societal changes in the last 30 yrs, what would each be? Explain please.


----------



## petite libellule

JaySH said:


> How objectively do women look at men? Do abs, facial features and asses matter at all, very little or, not whatsoever?


elaborating on this question:

Do you _feel_ like women objectify men in the same way men objectify women ?


----------



## JaySH

Ningsta Kitty said:


> elaborating on this question:
> 
> Do you _feel_ like women objectify men in the same way men objectify women ?


:tongue:


----------



## Jennywocky

JaySH said:


> Just to clarify, the length of time was more because of a very unsupportive SO, who made fun when I got choked up, and because of my son, who I didn't want to see me sad (he was only 3). Initially it was for my sisters but, they probably didn't need me to be. All are very strong people, especially my older sister (the oldest sibling). It helped me to think I was helping them though...even if it was unnecessary.


Your SO was making fun of you for being upset because your mom had died? 




> How do you think the impact of "broken families" has affected youth who are a part of it?


Well, it's complicated. A lot of "unbroken" families I think 50-60 years ago occurred because it was not profitable to get divorced. Instead you just had people living a charade, in situations where nowadays people would divorce. So I'm not sure whether that is good or bad overall. My parents stayed together, but I think my life would have been far better if my mother had divorced my dad and we had lived with her, in our situation. Maybe my whole thought here can be summed up as, "Just because the parents are together does not mean the home isn't broken."

Financially, broken homes can be hard on both parties, although the court systems try to make sure the kids are cared for money-wise.

Emotionally, both parents have to invest and work together to make sure the children still feel secure. That can be a chore, but it is essentially to make sure the kids are okay. However, in situations where the parents hate each other or there has been a violation of the marriage, well....

I do think that youths have been accepting that marriage might not last forever. I again can't say whether that's good or bad. However it can leave kids jaded; make them not want to commit as readily to a LTR; etc. 



> How objectively do women look at men? Do abs, facial features and asses matter at all, very little or, not whatsoever?


it depends on the woman. for me, usually I notice personality first. However on occasion, I'll notice a guy that's physically hot. Like Dylan McDermott walking nude out of the room in the pilot of AHS; cute butt. Or that scene in Thor where Hemsworth with his shirt off... just... uh... wow. So it really depends. But usually it's more the presence/personality for me.



> If there is one negative and one positive thing you think has come from all the societal changes in the last 30 yrs, what would each be? Explain please.


Uh... lots of things. Hard to pick the most/best/worst.

Women having options out of the home now means figuring out how to juggle our time, since with the economy the way it is, we often need to work but if there are children, they need our time too.

I think I most appreciate the opportunity that there can actually be a dialogue nowadays, as opposed to calcified roles. However, the dialogue still is not always happening; people feel threatened by change, and there are still many expectations for both genders, and no one is really sure what their "role" currently is. Note: It doesn't even have to be a gender-specific role per se... especially in the home. Both adults have to agree on what each does.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> elaborating on this question:
> 
> Do you _feel_ like women objectify men in the same way men objectify women ?


Not physically.


----------



## sleepyhead

JaySH said:


> How do you think the impact of "broken families" has affected youth who are a part of it?
> 
> How objectively do women look at men? Do abs, facial features and asses matter at all, very little or, not whatsoever?
> 
> If there is one negative and one positive thing you think has come from all the societal changes in the last 30 yrs, what would each be? Explain please.


1. I think it fully depends on the individuals and the families. I would say "it's complicated" probably applies to all situations. My parents are still together and happy so I have no experience myself. 

2. I can only speak for myself. I typically go for "average" body types - not really super fit but in decent shape. I've never looked at anyone's ass. Facial features matter but what's attractive to me isn't going to be the same as others. Personality can change the way someone looks - a bad personality can make someone you thought was attractive look very ugly.

3. I don't even know where to start. I may come back to this later.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

So this post is in context:



HonestAndTrue said:


> It's the dating game. Three guys, pick which one you want to date.
> More concise:
> Contestant #1: I spent 10 hours over the last 5 girls, I know what works. No need to plan anymore.
> Contestant #2: What happens happens, no need to plan.
> Contestant #3: I'll study and plan 2-3 hours specific to the girl for every hour to make sure it's perfect for her.
> If forced to pick, which of these three?





Ningsta Kitty said:


> contestant number 3.


Thank you. I'm a planner. 



Jennywocky said:


> If it was the longer descriptions, I'd pick #3 -- but [...] (2) I'd be a little weirded out by him putting all that stuff about me in his phone. I just want to make sure he's not a secret OCD/control freak guy, basically.





Vanitas said:


> 3 is stalker and/or serial killer creepy. Also, 3 would have the most baggage / expectations for me-- what if he's wrong and it's not perfect? What if his sources are questionable? Who are these sources, anyway?





sleepyhead said:


> #3 sounds kind of scary. I wouldn't look at someone's phone anyway, but that would creep me out.


Here's a story I heard a guy tell about being newly married. Him and his wife were looking for their first house and came upon their dream house. They didn't have any kids so it was too big and too expensive for the money he was currently making. He took note of it though. And five years later, making more money, with kids, the house went on the market. He'd been watching and they snatched it up and began living in their dream house. 

So, the source would be you. Perhaps in passing while talking about something else you included an interest, allergy, life goal, or preference between two things. And from that point forward he'd remember and help you avoid ordering a meal you're allergic to or in pursuing your life goal.

I think #1 and #2 are most common. #3 could be the best or the worst. Perhaps if you had one of the worst #3 you might not be as receptive to the best #3, at least early on.

Thank you everyone for answering.


----------



## WickerDeer

Mr. Nostalgia said:


> I have a question for any/all women who participate:
> What does sex feel like for a woman? I've always wondered that as a man, what do women feel/experience in it? It's utterly alien to me.


This is a really interesting question. I like Jennywockys answer.
There's something very fascinating about the act of sex. Usually we have layers to protect ourselves. We have shields and smoke and mirrors to move through social exchanges. And then with sex--two people naked and exposed, dealing almost exclusively with feelings, sensations, emotions, using their most intimate, hidden, parts to engage in a completely irrational activity. Think how funny it would be to see two people rubbing their index fingers together for hours every week...but sex isn't just that physical activity--it's a totally different place of mind. 

And then I think it's really interesting how with healthy sex there is a mutual goal to please the other person--and to take pleasure from pleasing them. There's something so empathetic about that. I think it's one of the acts where we get closest to reaching poetic empathy--or the joining of the experiences of two people. Building pleasure off of the pleasure of another person--that's a beautiful concept.

So, when I'm only partially engaged in sex sometimes I will have realizations, I will recognize feelings that I have for the other person, or images will come to the surface of my mind. I will realize concepts to think about later. Emotions might be amplified and more staunch. 

It's difficult to describe the times that are engaging--it's kind of full of feelings mixed with sensations, mixed with realizations, mixed with goals (like the goal to continue or increase pleasure).

I think that there is something especially vulnerable about being the person penetrated which is why I think closeness, trust, knowledge of the other person's character maybe becomes especially important during sex for me (and maybe other women). Knowing that my partner is trying to be aware of my physical likes and dislikes during sex is very important.

Physically--it's hard to say because the feelings take on a different tone during sex--it's like a physical pleasure may seem like a ball of light that moves up the body a certain way--or it might remind me of a concept like joining or perfect harmonizing for a moment. I think it's going to be different for everyone though--there's no one woman way of experiencing sex, and most sexual experiences for me are not similar either.


----------



## sleepyhead

HonestAndTrue said:


> Question:
> 
> I'm guessing most women go out in a group with one or more other women.
> 
> 1. How many do you go out in a group with?
> 
> 2. Would you say a guy has a better chance with you if he wins your whole group of women over first, and then shows specific interest in you, or, if he first shows specific interest in you (and can leave the group be, or also try to win them over second)?


1. Usually I go out either with 1 friend, or with my boyfriend and our 3 best friends, who happen to be women. I rarely hang out with just men or just women.

2. I never introduce a guy until I'm comfortable with him, so he'd better win me over first. I've never introduced a guy my friends didn't really like though.



JaySH said:


> How much influence/inspiration did your mother's and/or father's role in your life play?
> 
> Who do you feel was more influential?
> 
> What, if anything did you learn from the examples they set as individuals, as a couple and/or as both?
> 
> How, if at all, have you applied these in your life as an adult?



1. Very much from both of them. They've both been very present in my life. My mom was a stereotypical stay at home super mom. She built me dollhouses, re-upholstered all our furniture, re-finished the hardwood floors, maintained a beautiful garden, made us clothes, and made us a homemade lunch and dinner almost every day - we would walk home from school for lunch. My dad has always been very present. He coached my soccer and baseball teams, took us out fishing, the two of us used to go to antique stores and specialty food shops together and farmers markets. My childhood is full of memories with my parents and siblings camping, bike riding, going on picnics, visiting family. Both my parents are amazing role models, and generous, loving, kind, and accepting people. They've been married for 33 years and still seem very happy and very much in love. They both have had a huge influence on who I am.

2. I couldn't say one was more than the other - they kind of come in a package deal in my mind. I hang out with each of them on a solo basis and we have family dinners fairly often.

3. I learned from my mom that being a feminist means doing what makes you happy - for her, that was being a mom. For my dad, that was being a pilot. They both always taught me I could do whatever I wanted. They never treated me differently from my brothers and always made it clear that what we did with our lives was our choice and they would support us no matter what. They taught me how to think for myself and question what I'm taught. They taught me how to be financial responsible and not to rush into decisions. Their unconditional love and acceptance has always been felt for me and that's something I want the people in my life to feel.

In a few ways they've taught me the things I don't want to be - my dad has a bad temper and I feel he got irrationally angry at us more than I care to remember in my childhood. My mom can zone out a bit and go on autopilot when sometimes I needed her to really be present. But for the most part, they've really taught me to aspire to be the kind of people they are.

4. Just in the way I live - I don't let others tell me I can't do something. I'm always true to myself and honest with others. I love and accept myself and others. I have compassion and understanding. I've become a strong support and confidant to the people around me.


----------



## petite libellule

*How To Questions:*

1. How do you pick out a good perfume ?

2. How do you set the table ?

3. How do you make perfect scrambled eggs?

4. How do you change a tire ? (I don't know is an acceptable answer)

5. How do you choose a bra that fits you ? 

*Do You Questions:*

1. Do you keep change (penny's, nickel's, dimes & quarters) ? Where do you let it collect ?

2. Do you have more than one purse ?

3. Do you have a "Mr. Right" list (if not single, did you ever have one?) ?

4. Do you watch sports ? Do you like them ?

5. You are in a situation where you think you are right, you debate to the death, you throw your SO in the "dog house" only to later realize you were being a jerk. Do you ...

A) bluntly apologize and then forget about it. let's move on mentality.

B) Do you say you are sorry with some sort of gesture of affection 
(not sexual. more like cleaning his car or something.)

C) you may or may not apologize but get overly sexual (more than the usual) 
because you feel guilty and want to smooth things over.


----------



## carlaviii

Just answering the relevant ones...



Ningsta Kitty said:


> 3. How do you make perfect scrambled eggs?


Two eggs, dash of milk (maybe a tablespoon), blend well with fork or whisk. Pour into hot, cast iron pan that's got a dash of oil on it. Add a generous shake of ground black pepper. Give it a moment, then start scraping the eggs around with a spatula. Make them lumpy, break up big masses. I like mine moist (as opposed to dry) so I don't cook them long. 



> 4. How do you change a tire ? (I don't know is an acceptable answer)


Empty the trunk (hide any corpses) and get out the irons and spare. Kneel down beside the flat tire and feel around under the body of the car -- between the wheels -- for a solid place to put the jack. Place that and wind it up until it just touches the car. Loosen the lug nuts with the tire iron. This is the opposite direction from the way the wheel turns. I usually break off one lug; this is optional. Jack the car up until the wheel is off the ground. Take off the lug nuts and put them in a safe place. Pull the tire off and roll it aside. Put the spare on, put the lug nuts on and make them snug. Jack the car back down. Tighten the lug nuts in the direction that the wheel turns. Don't break another one, nobody needs that. Put everything back in the trunk. With any luck, you're minimally dirty and greasy. 



> 5. How do you choose a bra that fits you ?


Yes, I've read the instructions and they sound great, but above a certain size it gets trickier than that. (That size is DDD/F) Gravity and semi-fluid dynamics come into play. The only way to be sure is to try the damn thing on, and good luck finding a shop where you can try on a bra over DDD/F. Don't get me started on underwires -- they add another cup size, I swear. 



> 1. Do you keep change (penny's, nickel's, dimes & quarters) ? Where do you let it collect ?
> 2. Do you have more than one purse ?
> 3. Do you have a "Mr. Right" list (if not single, did you ever have one?) ?
> 4. Do you watch sports ? Do you like them ?
> 5. You are in a situation where you think you are right, you debate to the death, you throw your SO in the "dog house" only to later realize you were being a jerk. Do you ...
> A) bluntly apologize and then forget about it. let's move on mentality.
> B) Do you say you are sorry with some sort of gesture of affection
> (not sexual. more like cleaning his car or something.)
> C) you may or may not apologize but get overly sexual (more than the usual)
> because you feel guilty and want to smooth things over.


1. Yes, in my purse. Where I use it to pay for things. 
2. No
3. No
4. No, though I wish I could watch the Olympics. Long, boring story.
5. A


----------



## sleepyhead

Ningsta Kitty said:


> *How To Questions:*


*1. How do you pick out a good perfume ?*
I don't really like scent of any kind. I use unscented soap and such.
*
2. How do you set the table ?*
Like, for dinner? Place mat, plate on the mat, fork to the left, knife to the right, dessert spoon above, glass on the right. Napkin under the fork.

*3. How do you make perfect scrambled eggs?*
I can't eat egg yolks, so a bit of butter in a stainless steal pan, shake the carton of egg whites, put a tsp of milk in the pan, add the eggs, grate a bit of cheese on top, and let the eggs cook on medium for 2-5 minutes. Mix around with a spoon until they resemble scrambled eggs and are totally cooked. I like well done eggs.
*
4. How do you change a tire ? (I don't know is an acceptable answer)*
Open the trunk, take out the jack and donut and hope the instructions are in there. Jack it up, remove the bolts, remove the tire, put on the donut. I've only had to do this once and it was over 10 years ago so I'd probably be looking it up on my phone if I had to.

*5. How do you choose a bra that fits you ? *
I go to a specialty shop so I got sized a few years ago. Grab a few styles in my size and then see which ones fit - my shoulders are small so I can't wear a lot of styles. It has to be comfortable first and foremost.

*Do You Questions:*
*
1. Do you keep change (penny's, nickel's, dimes & quarters) ? Where do you let it collect ?*
Yes, I have a little change purse.

*2. Do you have more than one purse ?*
Yes, but I tend to use one exclusively for months and months. They're really big shoulder bags and less purse-like.

*3. Do you have a "Mr. Right" list (if not single, did you ever have one?) ?*
Nope, never did. I was looking for a feeling.

*4. Do you watch sports ? Do you like them ?*
I play soccer, so I occasionally like to play soccer. I've been to a few hockey games and they're okay but I'm not really into them.

*5. You are in a situation where you think you are right, you debate to the death, you throw your SO in the "dog house" only to later realize you were being a jerk. Do you ...*

*A) bluntly apologize and then forget about it. let's move on mentality.

B) Do you say you are sorry with some sort of gesture of affection 
(not sexual. more like cleaning his car or something.)

C) you may or may not apologize but get overly sexual (more than the usual) 
because you feel guilty and want to smooth things over.

*None of these are really me - I would apologize, explain what I realized, and maybe joke about it a bit. I'd try to be sincere because I hate when he begrudgingly apologizes to me.


----------



## Ever To Excel

Why do 99 percent of girls confuse confidence with cockiness.


----------



## sleepyhead

Ever To Excel said:


> Why do 99 percent of girls confuse confidence with cockiness.


You'd be surprised how many guys do too.


----------



## hela

Ningsta Kitty said:


> *How To Questions:*
> 
> 1. How do you pick out a good perfume ?


An ex bought me some that I ended up liking and I just keep buying that. 



> 2. How do you set the table ?















> 3. How do you make perfect scrambled eggs?


I don't eat scrambled eggs.



> 4. How do you change a tire ? (I don't know is an acceptable answer)


tirejack + lugwrench + lots of swearing



> 5. How do you choose a bra that fits you ?


Subtract band measurement from cup measurement. 

*



Do You Questions:

Click to expand...

*


> 1. Do you keep change (penny's, nickel's, dimes & quarters) ? Where do you let it collect ?


Yes. I have an empty jar of Kraken that I use as a loose change (including bills) collector. 



> 2. Do you have more than one purse ?


People keep giving me purses as gifts and like, I am not one of those women who has a purse for every outfit except now I do? Only I don't use them, so they're all stacked in the closet until I get my ass to Salvation Army. I have a leather messenger bag that I use for everything. 



> 3. Do you have a "Mr. Right" list (if not single, did you ever have one?) ?


1. Old, rich, dying, and grateful.



> 4. Do you watch sports ? Do you like them ?


I vacillate. Sometimes I'm like YEAAAAH SPORTS, most of the time I'm snarking on Tebow.



> 5. You are in a situation where you think you are right, you debate to the death, you throw your SO in the "dog house" only to later realize you were being a jerk. Do you ...
> 
> A) bluntly apologize and then forget about it. let's move on mentality.
> 
> B) Do you say you are sorry with some sort of gesture of affection
> (not sexual. more like cleaning his car or something.)
> 
> C) you may or may not apologize but get overly sexual (more than the usual)
> because you feel guilty and want to smooth things over.


If it was an actual fight as opposed to a debate, (b). If it was just a debate, (a). 

I really dislike the idea of using sex as an apology in that situation.


----------



## Ever To Excel

Why did you make this thread.


----------



## JaySH

carlaviii said:


> Just answering the relevant ones...
> 
> 
> 
> Two eggs, dash of milk (maybe a tablespoon), blend well with fork or whisk. Pour into hot, cast iron pan that's got a dash of oil on it. Add a generous shake of ground black pepper. Give it a moment, then start scraping the eggs around with a spatula. Make them lumpy, break up big masses. I like mine moist (as opposed to dry) so I don't cook them long.
> 
> 
> 
> Empty the trunk (hide any corpses) and get out the irons and spare. Kneel down beside the flat tire and feel around under the body of the car -- between the wheels -- for a solid place to put the jack. Place that and wind it up until it just touches the car. Loosen the lug nuts with the tire iron. This is the opposite direction from the way the wheel turns. <--- THAT MAY HAVE JUST BEEN A SLIP BUT, THAT IS ONLY TRUE ON THE PASSENGER SIDE OF THE CAR. IT'S ALWAYS COUNTER CLOCKWISE TO LOOSEN. ON THE DRIVER'S SIDE, COUNTER-COCKWISE IS (with the lug wrench facing up) TOWARDS THE FRONT OF THE VEHICLE, THE SAME DIRECTION AS THE WAY THE WHEEL SPINS(in drive, not reverse, of course) REMEMBER, WITH LUG WRENCH HANDLE FACING UP, LEFTY LOOSEY, RIGHTY TIGHTY (unless your driving an oooold dodge/chrysler product, 40's to 60's/70's as, some/most had reverse threads on the left side...same thing with late model Mitsubishi/Isuzu Box Trucks). I only mention so you, or someone reading the description as a guide (it's really detailed and accurate otherwise) don't get stuck on the left side doing what @_hela_ mentioned
> 
> I usually break off one lug; this is optional. Jack the car up until the wheel is off the ground. Take off the lug nuts and put them in a safe place. Pull the tire off and roll it aside. Put the spare on, put the lug nuts on and make them snug. Jack the car back down. Tighten the lug nuts in the direction that the wheel turns. Don't break another one, nobody needs that. Put everything back in the trunk. With any luck, you're minimally dirty and greasy.
> 
> 
> 
> Yes, I've read the instructions and they sound great, but above a certain size it gets trickier than that. (That size is DDD/F) Gravity and semi-fluid dynamics come into play. The only way to be sure is to try the damn thing on, and good luck finding a shop where you can try on a bra over DDD/F. Don't get me started on underwires -- they add another cup size, I swear.


Whoa- you have big..braas


----------



## carlaviii

JaySH said:


> Whoa- you have big..braas


Huge... tracts of land... 

Yeah, everyone thinks big boobs are such a thing. Meh. PITA.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

carlaviii said:


> Huge... tracts of land...
> 
> Yeah, everyone thinks big boobs are such a thing. Meh. PITA.


Two finite resources. Time and land. 

Another acronym: FLBP, thought it may already be that day.


----------



## carlaviii

HonestAndTrue said:


> Another acronym: FLBP, thought it may already be that day.


One of the many reasons I took up yoga.  ...and now if I skip a session, my shoulders get all tense and achy. Careful, kids, yoga is addictive.


----------



## Ever To Excel

Makes sense.


----------



## Jennywocky

Ever To Excel said:


> Why do 99 percent of girls confuse confidence with cockiness.


Hmmm.... I must be among the 1% that confuses it with cookie-ness. *nom nom nom*


----------



## Vanitas

*How do you pick out a good perfume ?*
I like the scent-- especially the base notes. 


*Do you keep change (penny's, nickel's, dimes & quarters) ? Where do you let it collect ?*
A bunny coin wallet. 


*Do you have more than one purse ?*
As in wallets or tiny bags? Both yes. 


*Do you have a "Mr. Right" list (if not single, did you ever have one?) ?*
Yes. Not much of a list, more like two sentences of things I really want/find important.


*Do you watch sports ? Do you like them ?*
No.


*You are in a situation where you think you are right, you debate to the death, you throw your SO in the "dog house" only to later realize you were being a jerk. Do you ...*
> Do you say you are sorry with some sort of gesture of affection (not sexual. more like cleaning his car or something.)


----------



## hela

What do you like about being a woman?


----------



## Vanitas

*1. How many do you go out in a group with?*
All girls? 3 - 4


*2. Would you say a guy has a better chance with you if he wins your whole group of women over first, and then shows specific interest in you, or, if he first shows specific interest in you (and can leave the group be, or also try to win them over second)?*
Honestly I don't know. I think I prefer a focused interest, but I ask my friends later what they think about him. If they're all against him, I'd probably write him off-- at least seriously re/considering it. My friends are my sanity/ good judgement check.


----------



## Jennywocky

Gosh, Ningsta, you're asking more questions than the guys are...!

*1. How do you pick out a good perfume ?*
I don't know. I don't typically have much money to spend trying out perfumes. But I'll sample stuff at the store or on the slips in magazines on occasion. I don't really use perfume much, honestly; I would just like some for special occasions.

*2. How do you set the table ?*
fork, plate, knife (blade in), spoon. 
Cup at top right.
Salad bowl at top left.
Napkin under the fork.

*3. How do you make perfect scrambled eggs?*
LOW HEAT.
You want them to curdle slowly. 
start stirring as they curdle.

Too much heat, they'll cook faster on bottom than top as a solid mass, or they'll burn.

I typically eat scrambled, omelets, or sunny side up with dipping toast. For my sunny sides, I'll actually grate cheese and add it to the pan and then crack the eggs on top, so there's cheese in the white of the egg. Yum!

*4. How do you change a tire ? (I don't know is an acceptable answer)*
low-cut blouse, short shorts, bend over a lot and look helpless, or stand staring into the trunk and looking confused.

More seriously, I've changed my own tire before, but it was horrible -- the maintenance guy did something evil and screwed the lugnuts on with a power socket drill. (I heard you're not supposed to do that, you're supposed to do it by hand.) I didn't loosen them before I had the car jacked up, and it was nearly impossible to get them loose. I'm still not sure how I did it. It took everything I had to get that tire on after the nuts were off and the old one removed, and I had grease on my old shorts and t-shirt by the end of the debacle. It was annoying to be doing this at an entry ramp in 85-degree heat with no one stopping to help, but oh well.


*5. How do you choose a bra that fits you ? *

Go to the store and try on bras. Each brand is different -- sometimes a particular size in one brand won't fit at all, while another brand will fit easily. Crazy. Clothing manufacturers hate women -- I am sure of it. Cup size is D/DD.



*1. Do you keep change (penny's, nickel's, dimes & quarters) ? Where do you let it collect ?*
Yes. In my car, it goes in the change area. In my house, they go into a jar or can.

*2. Do you have more than one purse ?*
yes, but I'm not a purse freak. 
I don't even like Coach, for goodness sake -- their bags are BORING.

I have probably 5-6 purses, of different colors and styles, and I swap them out when I get bored.

*3. Do you have a "Mr. Right" list (if not single, did you ever have one?) ?*
What, specific guys? Or just traits?

*4. Do you watch sports ? Do you like them ?*
I'm not adverse to sports, but I have things i love a lot more so I rarely track teams and players. I'm more apt to know the rules or strategies, while not even knowing who is playing. Typically I have a wonderful time watching them but only if I'm with people who actually like sports -- it is fun/bonding time for me, with munchies. Otherwise I don't much care.

*5. You are in a situation where you think you are right, you debate to the death, you throw your SO in the "dog house" only to later realize you were being a jerk. Do you ...

A) bluntly apologize and then forget about it. let's move on mentality.

B) Do you say you are sorry with some sort of gesture of affection 
(not sexual. more like cleaning his car or something.)

C) you may or may not apologize but get overly sexual (more than the usual) 
because you feel guilty and want to smooth things over.*

Well, for one, I do not throw people into the doghouse, nor do I withhold sex as a means of coercion. Arguments are all very mental/logical for me.

So I will always apologize with words if I realize later I was wrong or being mean. I take responsibility for my actions that way. I want to have the best perspective, and will admit when I missed something or wasn't being fair or considerate.

However, I firmly believe in the restorative powers of make-up sex. 
Or at least the fun of it.


----------



## Jennywocky

JaySH said:


> How much influence/inspiration did your mother's and/or father's role in your life play?


Not much.



> Who do you feel was more influential?


I can't say either one was. 

Have you heard of the Lost Child in the dysfunctional family? I did also play the "Golden Child" as the oldest, and expected to succeed, but I also felt very invisible and unknown, and that I had to fend for myself. neither of my parents really have ever understood me, even to this day; they both tend to see what they want to see, so the real me was left to figure things out on my own. 

Mostly I learned about life via experience as well as books. It is why I think as much as I do, because it was my only guidance growing up. It has changed me a lot so that I try to show my kids that I understand them; I don't want them to feel as alone as I did growing up.



> What, if anything did you learn from the examples they set as individuals, as a couple and/or as both?


I did not really gain much from my mother until maybe the last ten years. For a long time, I viewed her as weak and non-sensible and overly sentimental... and I do think she was. She let herself be the "passive/giver" end of the my dad's taker/alcoholism.

However, in the last ten years, I've realized that she has been willing to do some things that frighten her (even if they would not frighten me), and so I have come to see her as brave... especially because my father was not brave enough to do them. (As an example, my mother flew alone to Lithuania to see my sister, who was there for missionary work. My dad was too scared to go. But my mom loves us enough to be willing to do things that unsettle her.)

I have also grown to respect my mother's diligence/commitment to her responsibilities. 

And she has a lot of grace. i used to see her inability to say something mean or critical to someone as another weakness, because while being mean is not cool in itself, sometimes you need to call someone out or criticize a viewpoint/person's behavior if it's not positive. My mother is just not a fighter, though. She loves everyone and shows a remarkable amount of grace and patience. She wants to give them the benefit of a doubt as much as possible. I had for a long time felt she was weak for not leaving my father; but now I see it to be grace as much as anything else. She just loved him and wanted to be hopeful and faithful, so that he would have that opportunity to change, if it came.

My father, i am actually being as fair as I possibly can when I say that he pretty much has taught me through negative example, not positive. Yes, he does have some positive traits, but it grieves me to say that they've been kind of wasted because he's been in such a funk for years due to the chronic alcoholism. he is a tragic example to me of someone who cannot let go of conflict, cannot admit when he has been wrong, and cannot be vulnerable and accountable to others in his primary relationships. He has been given a number of wake-up calls over the years (jail time from DUIs, as well as a two-day coma and months of physical therapy) from the boozing, as well as the loss of his career years ago, but to no avail. He won't admit he has a problem and blames others for his mistakes. he seems very lonely and angry, no wonder; and the worst part is that it is a bed of nails he has created for himself. I wish he had not been such a coward.



> How, if at all, have you applied these in your life as an adult?


overall, my dad taught me what kind of person and parent I didn't want to be. I can still see his good qualities and miss that part of him. It is very important to me to be brave and honest; maybe in some way I can redeem my father's example and end that cycle in our family, for the sake of my children and those who come after. I wish I could have my dad back as the person he might have been.

My mom's grace has helped me lighten up a bit with the "rationality" part and sometimes just engage/give/do normal everyday things for people, and be kind to them regardless. I tend to over-complicate things and worry so much about nuance; she is much more simple; and sometimes I think that can be a good thing.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

Jennywocky said:


> Gosh, Ningsta, you're asking more questions than the guys are...!


Some questions never to ask a woman? Okay, I'll ask.

Did you get breast implants?

Do you wear a wig or have hair extensions?

If you have contacts do you wear your real eye color?

Do you spray tan?

Are your eyelashes fake?


----------



## WickerDeer

*How do you pick out a good perfume ?*
I've never owned a formal perfume. 

I make my own "perfumes" with essential oils. I use my nose to figure out which ones go together, and then I try to match them with a mood. 
Like--if it's winter time and I want to feel a little more confident and spicy I will wear clove mixed with ylang ylang. Recently I mixed orange oil, vanilla extract, and a little clove. 
I also wanted to feel a bit fresher so I mixed lemon oil and jasmine in coconut oil. Really, my nose isn't super particular but I can sense when I like something.


*Do you keep change (penny's, nickel's, dimes & quarters) ? Where do you let it collect ?*
Piggy bank.


*Do you have more than one purse ?*
No actually.


*Do you have a "Mr. Right" list (if not single, did you ever have one?) ?*
? Not really, but I am constantly adding to my idea. I kind of don't think Mr. Right exists at the moment.


*Do you watch sports ? Do you like them ?*
No.


*You are in a situation where you think you are right, you debate to the death, you throw your SO in the "dog house" only to later realize you were being a jerk. Do you ...*

Not sure about the given options--I apologize clearly and admit to doing something wrong, then I try to smooth things over by being nice. Then I feel extra affection when he forgives me and maybe get more sexual in response.

I like the question though--that's definitely happened to me.


----------



## hela

HonestAndTrue said:


> Some questions never to ask a woman? Okay, I'll ask.
> 
> Did you get breast implants?


Nope.



> Do you wear a wig or have hair extensions?


Nope.



> If you have contacts do you wear your real eye color?


Nope.



> Do you spray tan?


Nope.



> Are your eyelashes fake?


Nope.

hth


----------



## WickerDeer

HonestAndTrue said:


> Some questions never to ask a woman? Okay, I'll ask.
> 
> Did you get breast implants?
> *
> No*
> 
> Do you wear a wig or have hair extensions?
> 
> *Haha no*
> 
> If you have contacts do you wear your real eye color?
> *
> Yeah--I think most people do!*
> 
> Do you spray tan?
> *
> No, but I've used that cream tan before and probably will again occasionally. I don't go out in the sun to tan--I wear sunscreen to protect my skin. *
> 
> Are your eyelashes fake?
> *
> Not that I know of.*


Your post is funny--even though lots of women wear this stuff it's not that common. Also--probably most women who wear fake eyelashes also have real ones, right? But no, I don't wear fake eyelashes. I tried for Halloween, it's not very easy to do. 

Also, I've never had any kind of plastic surgery or injection. But I do use retinol and I have dyed my hair in the past...oh yeah, and one of my bras has about quarter inch of padding...does that cover everything?

Also, I cast a spell every Wednesday using the blood of infant platypuses to prolong my life--and to look like a cross between Angelina Jolie and Scarlett Johansson. (Just kidding--I don't look like them).


----------



## Eerie

*How do you pick out a good perfume ?*
I like most smells that are fruity, sweet. Sugary. The kind most other women seem to hate. But basically, I look at what bottles are the most pretty, open them up and smell them. Is it sweet? Than it's for me.

*Do you keep change (penny's, nickel's, dimes & quarters) ? Where do you let it collect ?*
Everywhere, I usually find money every time I fully clean my apartment. 

*Do you have more than one purse ?*
I have too many....

*Do you have a "Mr. Right" list (if not single, did you ever have one?) ?*
No, I never had a list. 

*Do you watch sports ? Do you like them ?*
_No._

*You are in a situation where you think you are right, you debate to the death, you throw your SO in the "dog house" only to later realize you were being a jerk. Do you ...*

I might apologize. It depends. I've never thrown my so in the "dog house" before anyway. Usually we mutually forget things like this. 


other questions - 

*Did you get breast implants?*
No, I'd like a lift though. Having a child and weight loss can take it's toll on the body. 

*Do you wear a wig or have hair extensions?*
Haha, no. ATM I have incredibly short hair.

*If you have contacts do you wear your real eye color?*
I have a phobia of contacts. 

*Do you spray tan?*
Nope, I would though. Maybe. 
*
Are your eyelashes fake?*
No, false lashes are so annoying to wear.


----------



## Jennywocky

HonestAndTrue said:


> Some questions never to ask a woman? Okay, I'll ask.
> 
> Did you get breast implants?
> 
> Do you wear a wig or have hair extensions?
> 
> If you have contacts do you wear your real eye color?
> 
> Do you spray tan?
> 
> Are your eyelashes fake?


Eeeep. Maybe I liked Ningsta's questions better!


----------



## HonestAndTrue

Jennywocky said:


> Eeeep. Maybe I liked Ningsta's questions better!



Does this mean there's a yes in there somewhere?


----------



## Jennywocky

HonestAndTrue said:


> Does this mean there's a yes in there somewhere?


Whew. At least he didn't ask me about the nose jo... ARGGGGG!! NOOO! 

I mean, no. Of course not.



EDIT: Just to clear the air. Yes, I've had breast implants (silicone). I prefer natural if at all possible, but I did not have a lot up top and got tired of that. They were supposed to be C cups, but I find myself buying bras in the D/DD range. You would not look at me and think my breasts were large, honestly. I just look normal.

As my "word of caution," I would just say that my only disappointment is sensation. There are various ways to insert an implant (through the nipple, under the breast, in the armpit), each with pro's and con's. The "under the breast" thing can leave scarring if not careful, but I wish I had opted for that approach now; I went through the armpit, and apparently nerves were cut that run through the armpit into the chest region. It has been over a year, and while some parts of my breasts are sensate, other parts are still numb. I don't know if the sensation will ever totally return. It can take some time, but still...


----------



## Vanitas

*Did you get breast implants?
*No.


*Do you wear a wig or have hair extensions?
*No. 


*If you have contacts do you wear your real eye color?
*I have both clear and colored contacts and wear them accordingly. 


*Do you spray tan?
*No.


*Are your eyelashes fake?
*Sometimes.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

hela said:


> What do you like about being a woman?



Here is what I like:






Oh wait, that was supposed to be a secret :blushed:


----------



## redmanXNTP

At what point does sex with Siamese twins become a threesome?


----------



## Vanitas

*At what point does sex with Siamese twins become a threesome?*

When they have 2 brains/ personalities. Having two 'hips' doesn't count.


----------



## WickerDeer

OK--I asked this question in the "ask me I'm male" thread, but I seem to be very interested as a heterosexual woman so I thought I'd open it up here.

If you had a penis, what kind of cool myth and name would it have?

Mine would be the "white snake." If you tasteth of it (no I can't talk like Shakespeare) it will imbue you with the power and knowledge of the speech of animalths (like in the Grimm's Fairy Tales).

Penis fantasies are welcome here, women.

Edit: It's harder for me to think up something like this for the vagina. If you can can think up an epic vagina identity then you get triple points.


----------



## nevermore

meltedsorbet said:


> If you had a penis, what kind of cool myth and name would it have?
> 
> Mine would be the "white snake." If you tasteth of it (no I can't talk like Shakespeare) it will imbue you with the power and knowledge of the speech of animaleths (like in the Grimm's Fairy Tales).


I kind of want one of those now...


----------



## JaySH

Jennywocky said:


> Not much.
> 
> 
> 
> I can't say either one was.
> 
> Have you heard of the Lost Child in the dysfunctional family? I did also play the "Golden Child" as the oldest, and expected to succeed, but I also felt very invisible and unknown, and that I had to fend for myself. neither of my parents really have ever understood me, even to this day; they both tend to see what they want to see, so the real me was left to figure things out on my own.
> 
> Mostly I learned about life via experience as well as books. It is why I think as much as I do, because it was my only guidance growing up. It has changed me a lot so that I try to show my kids that I understand them; I don't want them to feel as alone as I did growing up.
> 
> 
> 
> I did not really gain much from my mother until maybe the last ten years. For a long time, I viewed her as weak and non-sensible and overly sentimental... and I do think she was. She let herself be the "passive/giver" end of the my dad's taker/alcoholism.
> 
> However, in the last ten years, I've realized that she has been willing to do some things that frighten her (even if they would not frighten me), and so I have come to see her as brave... especially because my father was not brave enough to do them. (As an example, my mother flew alone to Lithuania to see my sister, who was there for missionary work. My dad was too scared to go. But my mom loves us enough to be willing to do things that unsettle her.)
> 
> I have also grown to respect my mother's diligence/commitment to her responsibilities.
> 
> And she has a lot of grace. i used to see her inability to say something mean or critical to someone as another weakness, because while being mean is not cool in itself, sometimes you need to call someone out or criticize a viewpoint/person's behavior if it's not positive. My mother is just not a fighter, though. She loves everyone and shows a remarkable amount of grace and patience. She wants to give them the benefit of a doubt as much as possible. I had for a long time felt she was weak for not leaving my father; but now I see it to be grace as much as anything else. She just loved him and wanted to be hopeful and faithful, so that he would have that opportunity to change, if it came.
> 
> My father, i am actually being as fair as I possibly can when I say that he pretty much has taught me through negative example, not positive. Yes, he does have some positive traits, but it grieves me to say that they've been kind of wasted because he's been in such a funk for years due to the chronic alcoholism. he is a tragic example to me of someone who cannot let go of conflict, cannot admit when he has been wrong, and cannot be vulnerable and accountable to others in his primary relationships. He has been given a number of wake-up calls over the years (jail time from DUIs, as well as a two-day coma and months of physical therapy) from the boozing, as well as the loss of his career years ago, but to no avail. He won't admit he has a problem and blames others for his mistakes. he seems very lonely and angry, no wonder; and the worst part is that it is a bed of nails he has created for himself. I wish he had not been such a coward.
> 
> Im sorry to hear that. While, it was my stepfather and it was for different reasons (physical abuse to my mother, older sister and myself as well as drug use), I learned for the same reasons as you. Drinking did take his life (car crash when i was 9)but, he wasn't a hardcore alcoholic. Just a child abusive, sexist, women beating drug user.
> 
> I will never be like him!
> 
> 
> 
> Overall, my dad taught me what kind of person and parent I didn't want to be. I can still see his good qualities and miss that part of him. It is very important to me to be brave and honest; maybe in some way I can redeem my father's example and end that cycle in our family, for the sake of my children and those who come after. I wish I could have my dad back as the person he might have been.
> 
> My mom's grace has helped me lighten up a bit with the "rationality" part and sometimes just engage/give/do normal everyday things for people, and be kind to them regardless. I tend to over-complicate things and worry so much about nuance; she is much more simple; and sometimes I think that can be a good thing.


We had similar experiences, although, you sound much more like my older Sister (that is not a bad thing), I can relate to much of this. Thank you for sharing.


----------



## JaySH

sleepyhead said:


> 1. Very much from both of them. They've both been very present in my life. My mom was a stereotypical stay at home super mom. She built me dollhouses, re-upholstered all our furniture, re-finished the hardwood floors, maintained a beautiful garden, made us clothes, and made us a homemade lunch and dinner almost every day - we would walk home from school for lunch. My dad has always been very present. He coached my soccer and baseball teams, took us out fishing, the two of us used to go to antique stores and specialty food shops together and farmers markets. My childhood is full of memories with my parents and siblings camping, bike riding, going on picnics, visiting family. Both my parents are amazing role models, and generous, loving, kind, and accepting people. They've been married for 33 years and still seem very happy and very much in love. They both have had a huge influence on who I am.
> 
> 2. I couldn't say one was more than the other - they kind of come in a package deal in my mind. I hang out with each of them on a solo basis and we have family dinners fairly often.
> 
> 3. I learned from my mom that being a feminist means doing what makes you happy - for her, that was being a mom. For my dad, that was being a pilot. They both always taught me I could do whatever I wanted. They never treated me differently from my brothers and always made it clear that what we did with our lives was our choice and they would support us no matter what. They taught me how to think for myself and question what I'm taught. They taught me how to be financial responsible and not to rush into decisions. Their unconditional love and acceptance has always been felt for me and that's something I want the people in my life to feel.
> 
> In a few ways they've taught me the things I don't want to be - my dad has a bad temper and I feel he got irrationally angry at us more than I care to remember in my childhood. My mom can zone out a bit and go on autopilot when sometimes I needed her to really be present. But for the most part, they've really taught me to aspire to be the kind of people they are.
> 
> 4. Just in the way I live - I don't let others tell me I can't do something. I'm always true to myself and honest with others. I love and accept myself and others. I have compassion and understanding. I've become a strong support and confidant to the people around me.


Thank you, for sharing so much. I think so many aren't even aware of, or pay no mind to, the impact, good or bad, that parents have had on their life. You are very aware, clearly, and that's awesome. Sounds like you have a really good family


----------



## carlaviii

HonestAndTrue said:


> Did you get breast implants?
> Do you wear a wig or have hair extensions?
> If you have contacts do you wear your real eye color?
> Do you spray tan?
> Are your eyelashes fake?


Nope on all counts. I'm also 41, 5'6", 275 lbs, and that would be a 42H that doesn't quite fit properly but I can't afford to go bigger. Damn things are $50 a pop at this size.


----------



## JaySH

carlaviii said:


> Nope on all counts. I'm also 41, 5'6", 275 lbs, and that would be a *42H* that doesn't quite fit properly but I can't afford to go bigger. *Damn things are $50 a pop at this size.*


*
*
I'm surprised they aren't $50 a cup:shocked:


----------



## milti

Ningsta Kitty said:


> *How To Questions: *


1. How do you pick out a good perfume ?

I usually just spray a ton of test perfumes on my wrist and make my friends smell it for me. :laughing:

2. How do you set the table ?

Umm, I put the place-mats first, then plates (each family member has their own special plate and glass), fill water in a jug and keep it somewhere on the table. The food is sitting on the kitchen counter waiting for people to go there and serve themselves, lol. I serve my grandmother, though, before anyone else. 

3. How do you make perfect scrambled eggs?

Umm, well, I'm not very good at them, but I like to use cream and milk and whisk it till it's REALLY bubbly (my arm gets tired, lol). I also like melting cheese into it. My family doesn't seem to like that. :crying: The best scrambled egg I ever ate was in America (the hotel we were staying at in NJ) and I asked the chef what his secret was and he grinned and said "LARD, my dear" - but I do hope he was kidding! :laughing:

4. How do you change a tire ? (I don't know is an acceptable answer)

I've seen my dad do it, LOL. Basically I think you use the jack to umm, lift up the car? And then... Oh, I dunno. Whenever I was with my dad and we had a flat tyre, we just pushed the car to the closest mechanic we could find, lol.

5. How do you choose a bra that fits you ? 

I have no clue how to decide what my size is. Mainly because I like buying those generic bras from Thailand with no standard size. My mother always embarrasses me terribly by taking my exact measurements and then doing loud calculations in the store, trying to find my closest fit. PS - I go bra shopping on my own too, but then I take a favourite comfortable bra for comparison, lol.

*Do You Questions:*

1. Do you keep change (penny's, nickel's, dimes & quarters) ? Where do you let it collect ?

I always need change. I need it for bus, rickshaw... Cigarettes and chewing gum, lol.

2. Do you have more than one purse ?

Yes, yes, yes. I LOVE collecting purses and bags. I have plenty of them and I like to rotate them based on my mood and the clothes I'm wearing.

3. Do you have a "Mr. Right" list (if not single, did you ever have one?) ?

I believe there's someone out there for every person. I think maybe I did find my Mr Right but he slipped out of my grasp, the sneaky. I'm not going to stop looking, though. :winking:

4. Do you watch sports ? Do you like them ?

Ummm I don't MIND watching SOME sports. So I straight up don't understand EPL football (lol) but I have watched local live matches. I am fond of watching cricket when my country is playing. And when it's playing Pakistan. Pakistan has some good looking cricketers. :blushed: 

5. You are in a situation where you think you are right, you debate to the death, you throw your SO in the "dog house" only to later realize you were being a jerk. Do you ...

A) bluntly apologize and then forget about it. let's move on mentality.

B) Do you say you are sorry with some sort of gesture of affection 
(not sexual. more like cleaning his car or something.)

C) you may or may not apologize but get overly sexual (more than the usual) 
because you feel guilty and want to smooth things over.[/QUOTE]

Erm... Probably A, because I'm direct and upfront and am simply not fond of hedging around what needs to said. Also, I'm not afraid to admit I was in the wrong (I think...)



JaySH said:


> How much influence/inspiration did your mother's and/or father's role in your life play?
> 
> Who do you feel was more influential?
> 
> What, if anything did you learn from the examples they set as individuals, as a couple and/or as both?
> 
> How, if at all, have you applied these in your life as an adult?


Wow, this is a long and tough answer.

I love both my parents. I honestly can't say which one I "like" more. They've both given me nothing but good all my life. I'm the baby of the family, and my parents have always treated me more kindly and delicately than they have my older brother. I was a fragile child, and my mother took great care to make sure I was healthy and ate well, and my father instilled in me a love for animals, nature, and a passion for taking treks/walks. I don't even know where to begin to answer this question.

I think I'll start with the obvious stuff. I inherit my looks from my father, and a personality that is more close to my mum's. When I was born, my mum fought all the odds to really give me a chance in life (I was born with many defects). My mother has always been the more gentle, understanding parent. She was a very hands-on mother and taught me early in life how to read and use my own imagination. I was a very happy baby because of my mother's great nurturing. She's an INFJ with a pretty high Fe and she used it all on me. While I was growing up, she always encouraged me to take part in fancy dress competitions, speech and elocution competitions, singing on stage, whatever was within my physical capacity. If I ever found a fault with her at all, it's the over-protectiveness she had with me when I was a child: "Don't scratch your knees, you'll bleed out", "Don't run", don't this and don't that. Despite her warnings, I had a pretty active childhood, filled with the usual climbing of trees, walls, playing tag, falling into a pond, roller skating down dangerous slopes, etc. One thing is I had a LOT of trouble at school because I was so poor at Maths, and my mum is the one who coached me patiently (and did most of my homework, lol). I don't think a single day went by from 6th to 10th that I didn't go to her for coaching in math, Hindi and physics (lol). She was (and still is) immensely supportive of whatever my hobbies are (writing, travelling) and sometimes even now secretly sends off my manuscripts to local zines for publication. She's I dunno, what can I say, an awesome mum. She can be really tiresome, naggy, screamy, emotional, NAGGY (did I already say that? lol) and sometimes her expectations are a bit unreasonable. But she is deeply religious and says that Jesus told her that I was a guest in her house and a gift from him, and she treats me very preciously.

My dad... Oh boy, I could write a book on my dad. Because even though he's the harder, more unreasonable, immovable parent, he and I probably get along the best at home. We are always laughing, making jokes, he respects my intellect and ideas (I think?) and loves hearing my stories. I think I become more loud and 'rowdy' when I'm with him. While I was growing up, he was a tough disciplinarian, cutting me NO slack and shouting at my mother for cutting me slack. He wasn't at home for a large part of my childhood (kept travelling) but strangely I never noticed when he was gone. :tongue: I do remember that I would wave bye at him when he would leave, and I would stand in the driveway wanting to cry but not knowing why the tears didn't come (lol). My father frowns on all emotional displays, and doesn't like it when I get "gossipy" (lol) and he and I clashed severely when I was a teenager. Over EVERYTHING. Nothing I did was ever good enough for him. He practically had me under a Taliban regime until I was about 16 or 17 and finally got sick of his random rules and began systematically (but silently) breaking every one of them. No wearing small Tshirts? I wore small SLEEVELESS tshirts! No boys calling up at home? I bought a cellphone! No meeting boys after school? I went out every evening with boys! No doing crazy teenage things like multiple piercings? I dyed my hair red AND got my ears multiple-pierced! I think i was when I finally started going out with a boy at 17 that he really disapproved of that he gave up. Ever since then, he's let me do whatever I like, and now he's almost like my partner in crime, lol. Now finally, at the age of 27 I can tell him absolutely anything and he's loosened up enough to accept it. 
After those awful mid-teenage years things really changed for the better. My dad and I started doing a lot of father-daughter stuff. We took treks together. He taught me how to drive his van and we used to wander around the countryside in it. He showed me how to do many things I wouldn't have otherwise learnt - how to start a fire, how to travel with minimum possessions, how to appreciate natural places and heritage sites, how to take a train, bus or plane on my own (lol), also how to do more mundane things like pay taxes and maintain a large house, and how to attend social dos without feeling completely awkward, lol. He was an important member of the forest ministry and was always being invited to important dinners where I would be his +1 (my mother never cared for them). So I would have to wear glittery things and float around being smiley and charming, and grew to really enjoy being daddy's girl. Today (I think) he's proud of me. He likes saying that I have moulded myself after him (lol) and that I am a capable young woman. He talks to his friends about me with pride. 
Wow, so I think I'd better stop. 
End note: I don't THINK I have a favourite parent, but I'm definitely very much daddy's little princess and I love it and revel in it. :tongue:


----------



## carlaviii

JaySH said:


> [/B]
> I'm surprised they aren't $50 a cup:shocked:


Well, if you want _lace_ or _leopard print _or to otherwise pretend you're sexy, then yeah...


----------



## carlaviii

> I asked the chef what his secret was and he grinned and said "LARD, my dear" - but I do hope he was kidding!




He wasn't. Lard is always better for pan-frying, but people freak out about it. Bacon grease adds a nice flavor to eggs, too...


----------



## Vanitas

*Leather or nylons?* Leather.


*Books or film?* Books.


*Pants or skirts?* Pants. 


*Sci-Fi or Fantasy?* ...Science-Fantasy. 


*Fish or chicken?* Chicken.


*Chopsticks or forks? *What's the food?


*Dogs or cats?* Cats.


----------



## Vanitas

*Do you smoke, or have you ever smoked? I* tried for about 2 weeks/ a month in highschool. Quit because I liked karaoke/singing better. 


*Do you do drugs, or have you ever done drugs?* Nope. Never, should be. 


*Have you ever had surgery on your nose?* No. 


*Have you ever been in the back of a police car?* No. 


*Are you sure you're not really a guy?* _Hmmmmmm_


*Did you know I knew we were meant to be together?* Aww.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

Hello lovely ladies of Personality Cafe, 

What movie(s), currently in theaters today, would be your first recommendation to:
1) See alone
2) See with your best friend only
3) See with multiple female friends only
4) See with multiple male friends only
5) See in a mix of multiple female and male friends
6) See on a date or with someone as more than friends

(Feel free to go 20/20 and say a movie you've already seen even if you wouldn't see it twice. The same movie may be used as an answer for all. Curious if there's any difference though.)



Jennywocky said:


> Just to clear the air. [...] I did not have a lot up top [...] parts are still numb.


Oh Oh Oh, Jenny Jenny, I just wanna give you a hug. ((Jennwocky)). So, what you're saying is, you, do have a lot down there? And that a guy with you can have some fun with you, without fear of waking you up?

New profile picture? *"I prefer natural if at all possible"* I agree. One way or another we all have changed ourselves though. I care who people were yesterday in so much as it has led them to be who they are today. Today is where it's at. Today I, we, they, get to determine what tomorrow brings. And of course knowing inside information like this one could decide to spend a little less time in the suburbs and a little more time downtown.

Oh, and friend, you've got ovaries for sharing.



android654 said:


> My god, am I really that transparent?


I can't even see you. And stop calling me His name. 



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Careful of those, "Supposed to(s)" & "Meant to(s)"


Thank you Thomas, with an H, though you didn't answer my question. 

Oh, I can touch my nose with my tongue. Just sayin'.



Jennywocky said:


> Have you ever had surgery on your nose?
> NO! ............lol


Got my answer! lol



Jennywocky said:


> PS. Do you own your own police car?


I purchased my current car new. It's the same make and model that's used as a police car though. So, it will feel realistic. 



Jennywocky said:


> Did you know I knew we were meant to be together?
> I won't believe you unless you say it with a Hallmark.


Well, that was easy.

A Hallmark E-Card from Honest



hela said:


> Are you sure you're not really a guy?
> I'm actually Prince Charming.


Identity Thief!



> Did you know I knew we were meant to be together?





milti said:


> If you knew that you and I were meant to be, then why are you there and me here?









Jennywocky said:


> I'm not much of a flirt. I wish I was. So the flirt end is pretty small for me







Interesting. So even with a few children the flirt end is..



Vanitas said:


> I liked karaoke/singing better.
> 
> *Are you sure you're not really a guy?* _Hmmmmmm_
> 
> *Did you know I knew we were meant to be together?* Aww.


Karaoke! I was singing, we'll not singing good, karaoke in the last few days that some other PerC people heard. Good times.

Should I do the dundee test?

:blushed:

Also thank you to: @carlaviii @Boss @sleepyhead @milti

HonestAndTrue


----------



## Jennywocky

HonestandTrue said:


> .Oh Oh Oh, Jenny Jenny, I just wanna give you a hug. ((Jennwocky)).


*sniffles*



> So, what you're saying is, you, do have a lot down there? And that a guy with you can have some fun with you, without fear of waking you up?


Down there, or up here? The stuff down there isn't numb.  You WILL wake me up! 
But yes, a sneaky person might be able to explore the higher-mountain terrain while I am zonked. 
Put another way: No bonking, just gronking, when Jenny is zonking.



> New profile picture?


I got bored with the old, so I cycle. I don't put myself because I forum at work and don't want people's eyes getting caught by a picture of me during the day as they walk by. They tend to mentally screen out other images.

That is my story, and I'm sticking to it. I'm not REALLY a little porcelain Death doll.
　


> "I prefer natural if at all possible" -- I agree.


I will say it's nice to have curves while wearing a bathing suit now, though.  And actual cleavage. But yes, hard choices.



> One way or another we all have changed ourselves though. I care who people were yesterday in so much as it has led them to be who they are today. Today is where it's at. Today I, we, they, get to determine what tomorrow brings. And of course knowing inside information like this one could decide to spend a little less time in the suburbs and a little more time downtown.


Thanks. I wish more people viewed the world as this. Who people are now, if they've changed and especially for the better, seems more important to me than who they were years ago. Change is inevitable. What matters is who we are and what we do with our lives. 

The past is over, the future doesn't yet exist, and the only moment we get to act in is the present.
　


> Oh, and friend, you've got ovaries for sharing.







> I purchased my current car new. It's the same make and model that's used as a police car though. So, it will feel realistic.


....Dreamy. Now we just need the handcuffs and night stick, and the fun can begin.




> Well, that was easy.


OMG. that was SOOO sappy... but yes, I'm smiling anyhoo.  It's the simple things...



> Jennywocky said:
> 
> 
> 
> I'm not much of a flirt. I wish I was. So the flirt end is pretty small for me
> 
> 
> 
> Interesting. So even with a few children the flirt end is..[liar liar]
Click to expand...

lol! Come on, test me! Come on to me, and I'll show you how I can't flirt back!
　
....heh.





hela said:


> I'm actually Prince Charming.


I need to pick a bone with you about you dumped Henry at the stables. That is not how you babysit your grandson, and Regina's Frankenstein boyfriend almost ate him. it almost ended badly. Why don't you take him out hunting, or down to the bar while you hang out with your drinking buddies and talk about the old days when you were besting giants every other weekend? That's the way most granddads do it!


----------



## petite libellule

Describe any of the following in your own words:

Brevity
Class
Poise
Honest
Sensuality
Warmth
Easygoing
Virile 
Femininity 
Power
Successes
Authenticity
Realistic
Fair
Empathy
Bravery


----------



## Jennywocky

@_HonestAndTrue_:

Movies questions:

Can't really answer as asked, because I don't much care who is with me, it's far more about the other people choosing to see a particular movie. Basically, I'll watch any movie with anyone, especially if someone else wants to pay: Yes, I am a bisexual multi-partnered cinema whore. 

For more info, though, I almost always go alone by circumstance... I love going to the movies, and I pick odd times to go because I hate crowds, and I don't have really anyone living near me who is single and can just go to the movies.

I tend not to see dramas in the theater (unless it's something I've been dying to see), because home viewing is much cheaper and I don't think the big screen offers anything substantial in the experience. I also don't care to watch the standard chick flick in the theater, although I would definitely go see Bridesmaids and things like that with my girlfriends in the theater -- that would be fun! 

Usually I'll watching scifi/fantasy, action, thriller, or 3D animated pics in the theater; horror can go either way.

For example, this season I saw movies like these alone at the theater:
Brave
Skyfall
Prometheus
Paranorman
Spiderman
The Hobbit
Cloud Atlas
Wreck-It Ralph
Sinister

I saw these with a friend:
Avengers
Argo

Les Miserables, Lincoln, Django, and End of Watch are on my "to see" list, but not at theater pricing unless some friends wanted to see them.

I should probably see Life of Pi in the theater, if I can. I will probably see Zero Dark Thirty in the theater as well.

Groups can be fun (I had the greatest time going to see Iron Man with a bunch of male friends a few years ago! They drooled over the cars, I drooled over RDJr  ), I just don't have people to go with.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

Round 3 of questions never to ask a woman. 

What's for dinner?

If you see her, has your mother aged well?

Would you say you will/have aged well?

Have you been to the rodeo? 

How many classes of jeans do you have today? (e.g. skinny)

Do the curtains match the drapes? 

How many text messages do you send daily?



Jennywocky said:


> Basically, I'll watch any movie with anyone, especially if someone else wants to pay: Yes, I am a bisexual multi-partnered cinema whore.


I wasn't going to say that, out loud anyway. 



Jennywocky said:


> For more info, though, I almost always go alone by circumstance... I love going to the movies, and I pick odd times to go because I hate crowds


I wouldn't mind not going alone, but there's the whole sync schedules thing, and as above, if it's a sheela I'd pay. And for whatever reason whenever I've gone to the movies with a woman we've never actually watched the movie, even if it is a horror. Single though one year I caught the 10am-11am Saturday morning showing over two dozen times.



Jennywocky said:


> I tend not to see dramas in the theater (unless it's something I've been dying to see), because home viewing is much cheaper and I don't think the big screen offers anything substantial in the experience. I also don't care to watch the standard chick flick in the theater


I consider part of the experience watching the experience of others between me and the screen. Say, a couple in the row in front of me. So I'll watch them and see if they look at each other with a nod or shake of the head, where which one laughs, etc.


----------



## Jennywocky

@_HonestAndTrue_:

*What's for dinner?*
Tonight? Not sure. I made a chicken parmesan sub last night. Tonight I have a bunch of romaine lettuce I need to use, so it's probably a salad with some chicken on it. 

*If you see her, has your mother aged well?*
Meh. She was very pretty when young, but she did age noticeably even by her 30's. What's odd is that she used to be overweight and had trouble keeping it off, but she's 70 now and has become tiny and small like her mother (my grandmother) was. I look much younger at my age than she did at the same age.

*Would you say you will/have aged well?*
Yes, I've aged very well. People think I'm a good 12-15 years younger than I am.
I think part of aging well is personality and adaptability, not just the physical genetics.

*Have you been to the rodeo? *
LOL WHUT?? Uh... ride 'em cowboy!

No.

*How many classes of jeans do you have today? (e.g. skinny)*
Bell bottoms. Boot cut. Straight. And skinny/tapered. 
Four?

*Do the curtains match the drapes? *
They will once the divorce finalizes and I have money for fun stuff!

*How many text messages do you send daily?*
Only about 5-10 nowdays. When I'm dating someone, or my kids are texting me, or I'm doing a periodic bing with a friend, a lot more.



> I consider part of the experience watching the experience of others between me and the screen. Say, a couple in the row in front of me. So I'll watch them and see if they look at each other with a nod or shake of the head, where which one laughs, etc.


See, that's fun and interesting. I just can do that in the food court and other public areas for free, rather than in the theater for cost. But often with my friends, the fun is not necessarily the movie but experiencing how my friends react to the movie.


----------



## carlaviii

HonestAndTrue said:


> What's for dinner?
> If you see her, has your mother aged well?
> Would you say you will/have aged well?
> Have you been to the rodeo?
> How many classes of jeans do you have today? (e.g. skinny)
> Do the curtains match the drapes?
> How many text messages do you send daily?


1. Shepherd's pie, from scratch.
2. Hard to say. She's in her late 60s, so I'll need a definition of "well." 
3. So far, so good. Do you want gruesome details? :angry: 
4. My double entendre detector is going off, but my google-fu fails me.
5. I own four pairs of jeans. They are jeans. 
6. Carpet. Not curtains. Except for the grey hairs, yes.
7. No cell phone.


----------



## hela

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Describe any of the following in your own words:
> 
> *Brevity*
> k
> 
> *Class
> *construct
> 
> *Poise*
> Hepburn
> 
> *Honest*
> potato
> 
> *Sensuality*
> liquid
> 
> *Warmth*
> mind
> 
> *Easygoing*
> water
> 
> *Virile*
> mafioso
> 
> *Femininity*
> hoops
> 
> *Power*
> define
> 
> *Successes*
> Cristal
> 
> *Authenticity
> *illusion
> 
> *Realistic*
> perpetuated
> 
> *Fair*
> random
> 
> *Empathy
> *gemini
> 
> *Bravery*
> piss





HonestAndTrue said:


> What's for dinner?


Salmon, avocado, and toasted pita bread



> If you see her, has your mother aged well?


y



> Would you say you will/have aged well?


I'm a child prodigy. 



> Have you been to the rodeo?


Do you want to be hog-tied? 



> How many classes of jeans do you have today? (e.g. skinny)


jeggings, straight leg, and leather



> Do the curtains match the drapes?


Currently a redhead. My natural is blonde. 



> How many text messages do you send daily?


A number[/QUOTE]


----------



## kelcey.l.williams

so i recently met a woman that i really like and i'm 24 and shes 25 and i'm very attracted to her. the night included us at the bar and we slow danced, i made her laugh so hard a couple of times she snorted, she grabbed my butt but playfully because we were trying to distract somebody, and i just felt like i had an awesome time altogether and it felt natural. she's one of my bestfriends sister and i've only seen (as in literally) on and off but not since high school. was she just being friendly or were there any sure indicators that i may have or may not have mentioned? i don't know what do you think?


----------



## HonestAndTrue

Are you okay?

Did you go shopping again?

Did you go to the gym this week?

Would you like to go to the ballet with me?

The Notebook: Good or Bad?

My last girlfriend used to make this meal.. Will you make it?
@Jennywocky

We had a similar dinner. Some romaine hearts cut with a little sweet and spicy French. Followed up by some rice with chicken.

If you look 15 years younger, and you have teenagers, let's do some math, that must make you about.. Well, a gentlemen never reveals a woman's age, now does he.



> Have you been to the rodeo?


*
LOL WHUT??*

*looks down* I don't think she knows what we're talking about. 
@carlaviii

Shepherd's pie, still haven't had that yet.

If you don't want to tell the gruesome details, that's perfectly fine. Say, I know where there's a table with some stirrups. I'm sure many details can be found without you saying a single word. 

You practice bad google-fu. Your double entendre detector is working though. Good google-fu after detecting a double entendre would be to add to the search the word sex.

I can respect a woman that would choose carpet. Seems so many today choose tile instead. I like to take off my shoes and socks, walk around barefoot and make fists with my toes. (Bonus points if you know what movie that is from.)
@hela

Salmon, excellent choice.

Hog-tied. Hmm. Have to add that to the list.


----------



## Jennywocky

@_HonestAndTrue
_
*Are you okay?*
Yes. No more, no less.

*Did you go shopping again?*
No. No shopping. never again. Shopping = BAD.

*Did you go to the gym this week?*
I'm starting back up next week after some lull.

*Would you like to go to the ballet with me?*

The closest I have been to the ballet is Black Swan. But I'd go. I've been the Metropolitan Opera and Carnegie Hall. Ballet fits right in.

*The Notebook: Good or Bad?*
Haven't seen it.



*We had a similar dinner. Some romaine hearts cut with a little sweet and spicy French. Followed up by some rice with chicken.*

That sounds nice. One can make decent enough coverage for rice and chicken by using cream of chicken/mushroom soup and adding appropriate seasonings.

*If you look 15 years younger, and you have teenagers, let's do some math, that must make you about.. Well, a gentlemen never reveals a woman's age, now does he.*

Well... you're assuming I'm human.

**looks down* I don't think she knows what we're talking about. *

The rodeo! That place where people dress up as clowns and have wild animals chase them, right??

here, I'll cheat and respond to this too:


> I can respect a woman that would choose carpet. Seems so many today choose tile instead. I like to take off my shoes and socks, walk around barefoot and make fists with my toes. (Bonus points if you know what movie that is from.)


it's a Christmas movie! (Ho Ho Ho)


----------



## carlaviii

HonestAndTrue said:


> If you don't want to tell the gruesome details, that's perfectly fine. Say, I know where there's a table with some stirrups. I'm sure many details can be found without you saying a single word.


The inquisitor may be kicked in the head, though. Doc says I can get away without pelvic exams now... though he added mammograms. Fun, fun, fun. :dry:

Yoga is an excellent encourager of Kegel exercises, if that's what you're getting at. And I never had kids. 

Google-fu results: I don't have a sister, firstly. Secondly, guys in that position have been known to gasp out "God, you're tight" as best they can.

Hey, you asked. (wow, am I actually blushing?)


----------



## HonestAndTrue

@_Jennywocky_

Did you go to the gym this week?
*I'm starting back up next week after some lull.
*Good for you! 

*Well... you're assuming I'm human.
*I do tend to make these wild assumptions. If you could give me a warning before you take your skin off it would be appreciated.

*The rodeo! That place where people dress up as clowns and have wild animals chase them, right??
*If you're a wild animal, which signs point to yes, that'd be an accurate description.

*here, I'll cheat and respond to this too:
it's a Christmas movie! (Ho Ho Ho)
*I like that Christmas movie. Oh, and the next one also a Christmas movie.

@_carlaviii_

I did ask. Thank you.


----------



## carlaviii

All right, no more posting after my nightly writing stint for me. Cougar needs to be more judicious with her claws.


----------



## mrscientist

If i chuck wood at a woodchuck in the middle of a forest, does he make a noise?


----------



## Dauntless

Good morning, SnakeCharmer, I would write to ask:

Why are my feet so sensitive? The nape of my neck?

Is the body just random as all hell, or what? :laughing:


----------



## Vanitas

*Did you go shopping again?
*Not yet this month. 

*Did you go to the gym this week?
*I exercise around the house/ the trip to the gym is more effort than the exercise itself. 

*Would you like to go to the ballet with me?
*Sure. 

*The Notebook: Good or Bad?
*Haven't watched it. Not interested to. 

*My last girlfriend used to make this meal.. Will you make it?
*Is it good? I have no qualms about stealing other people's recipes. If it's bad, no way.


----------



## Jennywocky

mrscientist said:


> If i chuck wood at a woodchuck in the middle of a forest, does he make a noise?


It depends on how good your aim is.


----------



## Jennywocky

@Ningsta Kitty

Brevity -- keep it short, stupid; the soul of wit.

Class -- what I try to have, a woman who is composed, floats above it all, and is not caught up in petty things that would threaten to pull anyone down. AKA walking through the mud without getting my feet dirty.

Poise - balance and beauty while dancing through life

Honest - is the best policy, although it doesn't have to be a club beaten over someone's head.

Sensuality - living through touch and vulnerability, and experiencing it all

Warmth - hugs... with the arms or even with the eyes.

Easygoing - go with the flow, steady as she goes girl! Don't fight it all, just ride the wave!

Virile - Men with purpose and energy, the flow of the geyser

Femininity - embrace, shape, coax, draw out; when I put my arms around you, I create a safe space in which you can become yourself and develop your strength as well 

Power - will

Successes - achieving one's goals even if they don't mean anything to others, being content in life

Authenticity - I am who I am, for good or bad, and I am not ashamed

Realistic - dream big and fly high, but always be aware of the landscape and weather conditions

Fair - everyone is treated with equal dignity and equal opportunities

Empathy - I feel you, I see through your eyes

Bravery - doing what I know has to be done (in pursuit of my vision and convictions), regardless of how scared I am


----------



## HonestAndTrue

@_Vanitas_

I have multiple methods of cardio at home, but the gym offers more weights than I'd invest in.

I enjoy the meal, though it is an acquired taste. More interested in if stealing and making it would be a constant reminder of the last one.

@_carlaviii_

Wait till the guys at the gym see my back.  I may feel this for days. I wonder if I'll get some scars. Chicks love scars, right?

Do you want gruesome details?


----------



## countrygirl90

How to take initiative with opposite sex without looking like an open book and how to prevent oneself falling for a wrong person.


----------



## hela

@countrygirl90

What's wrong with looking like an open book? If you like them, let them know. I'm not clear on what you're asking.


----------



## mimesis

hela said:


> @_countrygirl90_
> 
> What's wrong with looking like an open book? If you like them, let them know. I'm not clear on what you're asking.


----------



## hela

mimesis said:


>


My kryptonite ~~~~


----------



## Vanitas

HonestAndTrue said:


> @_Vanitas_
> I enjoy the meal, though it is an acquired taste. More interested in if stealing and making it would be a constant reminder of the last one.


The point is whether I/ the new girlfriend enjoy the meal. If they don't enjoy it, asking them to make it is, I think, out of the line. Also, if the guy only/ keep asking for that meal all the time, the guy deserves getting hit by a 5" wedge shoe.


----------



## carlaviii

HonestAndTrue said:


> Wait till the guys at the gym see my back.  I may feel this for days. I wonder if I'll get some scars. Chicks love scars, right?


_checks under her nails _
IIRC, you should rub ashes into the wounds for scars... good Lord, I'm such a nerd... :laughing:


----------



## android654

Vanitas said:


> 5" wedge shoe.


Sexy shoes.

Questions for the group. 

How would you describe your libido?

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where your sex drive was too high or too low for the other person? HOw was it remedied within the relationship?


----------



## milti

android654 said:


> Sexy shoes.


I LOVE SHOES. :crazy:
I love high heels, stilettos, I love the kind that lace up above the ankle, I love kitten heels, I love pumps, I love sneakers, I love flip flops, I love sandals. I love shoes. Put me in a shoe shop with a credit card and I can spend all day in there!


* *




PS I've never actually done this, but I'd like to have sex sometime wearing nothing but a pair of black stilettos. :blushed:






> Questions for the group.
> 
> How would you describe your libido?


High. Pretty damn high. I love sex, I can't imagine living a life without it. (I could if I wanted to, I just don't think I would like it much; I'd always think something vital was missing)



> Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where your sex drive was too high or too low for the other person? HOw was it remedied within the relationship?


No, not been a problem so far. If for whatever reason my partner isn't in the mood for sex, I won't complain or anything. I'll just do some other lovey-dovey stuff like take a walk with him, snuggle up with him, watch a movie together, have something to eat, just sit around talking or joking. I don't know how happy I'd be in a relationship where he completely lacked a sex drive or lost it. I think I'd feel pretty hurt and confused, or just plain cranky.


----------



## .17485

What is it like for a woman to be on your period?


----------



## mimesis

Q: Alternative words for this period?


----------



## hela

@android654
How would you describe your libido?
A beautiful butterfly quivering gently against a damp lotus

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where your sex drive was too high or too low for the other person?
It has been invariably too high. 

How was it remedied within the relationship?
I'd initiate most of the time, and we wouldn't have sex if they didn't want to. Not exactly a remedy to sexual frustration, but there are other outlets and I don't expect people to keep up with me.


----------



## sleepyhead

Tega1 said:


> What is it like for a woman to be on your period?


Another one that will vary a lot - for me, kinda gross, kinda messy, but short and fairly easy.

When I'm getting close to starting, my breasts hurt so badly - it hurts if my nipples get hard, it hurts if I walk up or down stairs, it hurts if I accidentally bump into something. I don't like wearing bras at home, but I usually do around this time otherwise I have to walk around holding my boobs. I only get cramps on the first day and they're brutal - just these sharp, stabbing pains under my belly button that come and go and make me feel a bit nauseous. I lose my appetite and get weird headaches, but it's never been too big of a deal because all of this is gone by day 2. Super heavy on day 1, practically non-existent by day 2 and 3.

I use a divacup so the mess is minimal and I often forget I'm even on my period. It lasts 3 days and I know I have it super easy compared to some other women.


----------



## sleepyhead

android654 said:


> How would you describe your libido?
> 
> Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where your sex drive was too high or too low for the other person? HOw was it remedied within the relationship?


1) Passionate, dirty, insatiable, a great deal of fun. Comes and goes in cycles.

2) Not really. My boyfriend and I struggled for a while - when I was in my late teens/early 20's I had such a high sex drive, it was on my mind all the time. The last few years life has changed a lot - I work full time, have bills to pay, my partner is working and going to school, we're talking about kids - neither of us makes a move as often as we used to.

He, more than I, struggled with being okay with the fact that _he_ didn't want to have sex all day every day. Sometimes we've gone a couple of weeks just because of life circumstances and it's not a big deal to either of us, but occasionally he still feels a bit like he's not a real man if he doesn't want it all the time. 

We talked about it a lot a couple of years ago but the last year it hasn't come up at all - we're both comfortable with what we've got going on.


----------



## Malkovich

Tega1 said:


> What is it like for a woman to be on your period?


I don't notice any difference in my emotions and reasonableness, which is that main stereotype. I just feel very horny all the time and my lower back hurts. Also my stomach occasionally and my vagina. And I get diarrhea the first day. That's about it.


----------



## Vanitas

Tega1 said:


> What is it like for a woman to be on your period?


No hormonal effects on personality/ bitchiness, but it does hurt. Any snappyness / impatience would be the result from ---well, being in pain.


----------



## carlaviii

Tega1 said:


> What is it like for a woman to be on your period?


I don't usually get PMS (I'm always cranky) but I do get cramps. The first couple days, I have to be careful when standing up after sitting for a long time. And when getting out of bed. I need to pee more often, too. 

Gruesome details: Clenching can help control the rush, but it won't stop it. Sitting for a long time can be uncomfortable, and walking a lot can shake things loose. Unpleasantly. Clots, chunks, blood running down my leg, yup, been there done that. Had to clean it up. Cold water gets fresh blood out, thank goodness. 

Alternate terms: that time of month, your monthlies, Aunt Flo's visiting, on the rag.


----------



## wiarumas

carlaviii said:


> I don't usually get PMS (I'm always cranky) but I do get cramps. The first couple days, I have to be careful when standing up after sitting for a long time. And when getting out of bed. I need to pee more often, too.
> 
> Gruesome details: Clenching can help control the rush, but it won't stop it. Sitting for a long time can be uncomfortable, and walking a lot can shake things loose. Unpleasantly. Clots, chunks, blood running down my leg, yup, been there done that. Had to clean it up. Cold water gets fresh blood out, thank goodness.
> 
> Alternate terms: that time of month, your monthlies, Aunt Flo's visiting, on the rag.


Just for future reference - In addition to cold water, your saliva/spit can clear up fresh blood stains in a pinch... As long as its small.


----------



## milti

Tega1 said:


> What is it like for a woman to be on your period?


Oh my god, it's hellish for me. I'm underweight and anaemic and simply don't take my period well. Also, right now they are irregular and erratic, sometimes very heavy and sometimes very light. You won't believe how uncomfortable _not _getting your period when you're expecting it is! 

Mine hurts a lot and lasts ages (6-7 days) and are like a freaking tsunami the first 3 days, lol. I usually have to manage it with painkillers, and I sleep a lot. Every joint in my body aches. Sometimes (usually) I have really bad cramps. I'm usually doubled over in pain, refusing food. It feels like someone reached in and started wringing my guts. It also feels like a knife in my abdomen. I usually describe it as a wave of pain hitting me every now and then. Physically, it gets bloody and messy. I try not to leave the house. When I was in 11th and 12th I remember there would be times I would lie on a bench and cry, clutching my tummy. I passed out from the pain a couple of times. (It's not that brutal now)

About a week before they're expected, I get very cranky, snap a lot, cry and cry, feel really tired all the time. I also get terrible cravings - sometimes for sour things and sometimes for sweet things - always something that's absolute junk that my mum usually doesn't like me having. Around Christmas we got a large X'mas rum cake and I gobbled up the whole damn thing in the same night. My mum was mad at me but I couldn't sleep with thoughts of rum filled cake filling my head, lol. I'm also very very horny. :crazy:

I snap at my family members very easily around the time of my period, and it angers me immensely when my brother says dismissively "she's PMSing again" - I once threw a glass of Coke in his face for his mean comments.
My period is tough and everyone at home knows when I'm on it.


----------



## infjjohnsmith

apples or oranges?


----------



## Jennywocky

infjjohnsmith said:


> apples or oranges?


Apples over oranges, orange juice over apple juice.


----------



## countrygirl90

hela said:


> @countrygirl90
> 
> What's wrong with looking like an open book? If you like them, let them know. I'm not clear on what you're asking.


By this I mean that for a sensitive person like me ,I like people who are honest in their intentions even if they say that you are not my kind of girl etc ,but some people like to manipulate your innocence for their selfish means and when you don,t agree with their plans they dump you for are slut who can fulfill their lust for them." I have some principles and morals of life which I don,t break for anybody . Like you said a manly man is who knows how to be responsible and honest with his actions, sometimes I think they are quite rare specie on earth now a days. Though I,m not a frigid kind of person, I,m passionate and too much honest when it comes to love something or someone but in the end it causes a lot of heartbreak when you feel betrayed .So to secure a piece of my heart has become necessary for me.


----------



## countrygirl90

kaleidoscope said:


> What's having boobies breasts like?
> 
> 
> 
> .. Come on, we all know guys are gonna want to ask that :tongue:


 ,At times I feel very sensual and beautiful , I,m very well endowed naturally but during hormonal changes or periods it causes some distress wearing bra .I enjoy wearing dresses that enhance their beauty ,I feel lucky and like them the way they are.


----------



## carlaviii

android654 said:


> How would you describe your libido?
> Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where your sex drive was too high or too low for the other person? HOw was it remedied within the relationship?


I held off on answering this because it hits a sore, complicated nerve. So I'll keep the answers simple. 1. Healthy. 2. Yes. 3. It is a contributing factor to the train wreck.


----------



## Eerie

infjjohnsmith said:


> apples or oranges?


Neither :tongue:


----------



## carlaviii

_pokes sleepy thread
_
I didn't answer the "How do women experience sex?" question either because there were a few nice posts about the romantic, spiritual aspects -- which are all well and good and I've been known to get gooey, squishy feelings too... but... 

I guess it falls to me to represent for the ladies who primarily experience sex as cutting loose from higher brain functions and rutting till the sheets are damp with sweat. 

_waves hello _We're in the minority, I suppose, but we exist.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

How would you respond to hearing the following. Agree, disagree? Feel free to elaborate to your heart's content.

A. "With great power comes great responsibility."

B. "Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all."

C. "Variety's the spice of life."

D. "That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

E. "I'll buy you 12 Roses; 11 real and 1 fake. And I'll love you until the last rose dies."

@_Vanitas_ Okay. Okay. I'll just share the recipe without mentioning the ex. If you like it you like it. Don't ask me where I got the recipe from then, because I won't lie to you.
@_milti_ :dry: You women, your shoes, and what you want to do with them.


----------



## milti

carlaviii said:


> _pokes sleepy thread
> _
> I didn't answer the "How do women experience sex?" question either because there were a few nice posts about the romantic, spiritual aspects -- which are all well and good and I've been known to get gooey, squishy feelings too... but...
> 
> I guess it falls to me to represent for the ladies who primarily experience sex as cutting loose from higher brain functions and rutting till the sheets are damp with sweat.
> 
> _waves hello _We're in the minority, I suppose, but we exist.


No, I am the same way (that's why I didn't respond :tongue: ) I really fail to see the deal with sex. Sure, it's supposed to be nicer with someone you love, etc, but honestly in the throes of passion my body doesn't _really _care who's doing the deed with it. If I let him into my life (and body) that far, it's a pretty safe bet I'll let him finish without counting the petals on the daisy.


----------



## countrygirl90

@HonestAndTrue

A. "With great power comes great responsibility."
I guess it refers to an individual if he/she is been gifted with a special ability or skill to use it responsibly and positively for the welfare of themselves and others . 

B. "Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all."
This phrase hits the sore point of heart, indeed its good to be loved truly by someone or to love someone even if once in a life time than merely wasting our soul in the crowd of strangers. 

C. "Variety's the spice of life."
Indeed variety is necessary for this world and of its survival, but that doesn,t mean we have to let go of something to have another new thing because that's where creativity and nature needs to work together to bring evolution to save resources and increase our pleasure .

D. "That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
this is very valuable phrase indeed, it means when life becomes so difficult or certain situations makes you weak or helpless but still you have that strong desire in you to overcome your odds and come out of it ,in the end when you achieve your success even if you had to sacrifice a lot for it ,you feel stronger from inside ,like a gold when heated at high temperature only becomes pure.

E. "I'll buy you 12 Roses; 11 real and 1 fake. And I'll love you until the last rose dies."
This phrase is quite puzzling to me , so I cannot answer it ,but I would like to know the meaning of it.


----------



## milti

@countrygirl90:


> E. "I'll buy you 12 Roses; 11 real and 1 fake. And I'll love you until the last rose dies."
> This phrase is quite puzzling to me , so I cannot answer it ,but I would like to know the meaning of it.


Basically would you prefer love that is fake and will never die, or do you prefer one real love that will die soon? Personally I would prefer NO rose over a 100 fake ones. But I don't mind fake flowers if they'll keep the real ones from being plucked and killed :crying:


----------



## countrygirl90

milti said:


> @countrygirl90:
> 
> Basically would you prefer love that is fake and will never die, or do you prefer one real love that will die soon? Personally I would prefer NO rose over a 100 fake ones. But I don't mind fake flowers if they'll keep the real ones from being plucked and killed :crying:


I would prefer the real rose even if it dies after few days because its perfume and essence will always be there and that is what really matters in the end .And I know how to preserve those roses for my pleasure and happiness even after they die.


----------



## countrygirl90

The last rose, the fake rose, will never die. If the last rose never dies, it means I'll love you forever. 


Thanks @HonestAndTrue.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

countrygirl90 said:


> The last rose, the fake rose, will never die. If the last rose never dies, it means I'll love you forever.
> 
> 
> Thanks @_HonestAndTrue_.


You're welcome @countrygirl90 and thank you for answering.

Turn that frown upside down @milti


----------



## JaySH

milti said:


> @_countrygirl90_:
> 
> Basically would you prefer love that is fake and will never die, or do you prefer one real love that will die soon? Personally I would prefer NO rose over a 100 fake ones. But I don't mind fake flowers if they'll keep the real ones from being plucked and killed :crying:


My interpretation:

That phrase is supposed to be sweet and metaphorical. It's a way to show love through the gesture of flowers but, by saying that phrase and adding the 1 fake rose which will never die, so will the writer's/giver's love live on.

The 11 roses symbolize love. The 1 fake rose symbolizes love's ability to last...to endure.

It's actually quite beautiful and poetic, in my eyes.


----------



## JaySH

HonestAndTrue said:


> You're welcome @_countrygirl90_ and thank you for answering.
> 
> Turn that frown upside down @_milti_


shit...I took too long to hit "post"...lol


----------



## HonestAndTrue

JaySH said:


> shit...I took too long to hit "post"...lol


No. ISTJ + ENFP means all the letters are covered. Maybe one of us will be believed. Besides, you said it differently and with more words.


----------



## JaySH

HonestAndTrue said:


> No. ISTJ + ENFP means all the letters are covered. Maybe one of us will be believed. Besides, you said it differently and with more words.


you said it more simply/efficiently... But, short and sweet has never been my strength


----------



## milti

Wow, differing perspectives then, @JaySH. I didn't know I was so cynical about love stuff! :shocked: The moment I see the word 'fake' I'm like OMG RUN RUN RUN!! :tongue:


----------



## carlaviii

milti said:


> No, I am the same way (that's why I didn't respond :tongue: )


Yeah, despite how far we've come there's that lingering nervousness about the Madonna/whore dichotomy. You can dress up the "I just like to do it" in ideas about being secure in your self-identity, ignoring social pressures, and a dash of rebellion but... that's not stuff you can just shrug off. It makes you hesitate to give people reason to label you.


----------



## carlaviii

FlightsOfFancy said:


> Is vaginal sex that rewarding to you?
> 
> I'm gay but it saddens me that women's most sensitive parts are external and largely ignored.
> 
> Do you find it annoying that men are guaranteed orgasms yet you are not?


1. Yes.
2. My most sensitive part is my brain, which is both internal and not ignored. 
3. There are so many mis-assumptions in this question that I'm not sure where to start.


----------



## hela

FlightsOfFancy said:


> I thought the majority of pleasure came from the clitoris/clirotal hood and that the vagina wasn't as sensitive?


What do you mean by this: 



> _Do you find it annoying that men are guaranteed orgasms yet you are not?_


_
_


----------



## FlightsOfFancy

carlaviii said:


> 1. Yes.
> 2. My most sensitive part is my brain, which is both internal and not ignored.
> 3. There are so many mis-assumptions in this question that I'm not sure where to start.


Perhaps, as I said, I'm gay and have never been with a woman. I thought that the majority of woman's orgasms were contributed to the outer portions of the vagina e.g. clitoris b/c it's more sensitive. Whereas, the male is inserting his most sensitive part and having it stimulated. 

Also, men seem to be 'guaranteed' an orgasm. Do you orgasm from vaginal sex in much the same frequency as your male partners?

I was talking simply about sexual pleasure; I'm aware that there is far more to woman.



hela said:


> What do you mean by this:
> 
> 
> [/I][/FONT]


above.


----------



## carlaviii

FlightsOfFancy said:


> Perhaps, as I said, I'm gay and have never been with a woman. I thought that the majority of woman's orgasms were contributed to the outer portions of the vagina e.g. clitoris b/c it's more sensitive. Whereas, the male is inserting his most sensitive part and having it stimulated.
> 
> Also, men seem to be 'guaranteed' an orgasm. Do you orgasm from vaginal sex in much the same frequency as your male partners?
> 
> I was talking simply about sexual pleasure; I'm aware that there is far more to woman.


I'm sure you're also aware that there's a lot more to sexual pleasure than orgasms, too. That's another layer of oddness on your question. 

I'm old enough that I've seen the mystery of Where Female Orgasms Come From swing back and forth from the vagina to the clitoris a few times... and it's entirely possible to orgasm without any genital stimulation at all. I've had wet dreams. 

I think the only thing that can be said for sure is that the brain is involved. 

As to the frequency, if he's doing a good job then I'm way ahead on the orgasm count.


----------



## Vanitas

*Through song describe your mindset when you're in an intense relationship. A toxic one. A relationship that feels a little more standard.*

My theme for the last 7 years concerning a particular ex (until recently. 3 weeks ago recently) was these; I suppose it's toxic, like gangrene is toxic.












Intense.. eh. These? 

















I'm not sure what you mean by 'standard'.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

FlightsOfFancy said:


> Is vaginal sex that rewarding to you?
> 
> I'm gay but it saddens me that women's most sensitive parts are external and largely ignored.
> 
> Do you find it annoying that men are guaranteed orgasms yet you are not?


Yes it is, and what is there to be sad about? We can receive pleasure via the inside, the outside, or both simultaneously. I'd say it's awesome. 

I'm more guaranteed than the average guy, because I can do it any time I want


----------



## Jennywocky

FlightsOfFancy said:


> I thought the majority of pleasure came from the clitoris/clirotal hood and that the vagina wasn't as sensitive?


Just curious: as a gay man, do you receive more pleasure from pentration which will involve stimulation of the prostate as well as feelings of fullness, or of direct stimulation of the penis? Or is this a loaded question, and the pleasure is different in both but still existent? or perhaps it can work in conjunction?

And do you always need to have an orgasm when your partner penetrates you, or is that pleasurable emotionally in its own way at all?


----------



## android654

Vanitas said:


> I'm not sure what you mean by 'standard'.


Exactly what the word means. You don't feel positively or negatively about the person or the relationship, you're just sort of together and that's how it is for the moment.


----------



## FlightsOfFancy

Enfpleasantly said:


> Yes it is, and what is there to be sad about? We can receive pleasure via the inside, the outside, or both simultaneously. I'd say it's awesome.
> 
> I'm more guaranteed than the average guy, because I can do it any time I want


That's hot; I always thought the vaginal was almost blah... good to know :crazy:



Jennywocky said:


> Just curious: as a gay man, do you receive more pleasure from pentration which will involve stimulation of the prostate as well as feelings of fullness, or of direct stimulation of the penis? Or is this a loaded question, and the pleasure is different in both but still existent? or perhaps it can work in conjunction?
> 
> 
> And do you always need to have an orgasm when your partner penetrates you, or is that pleasurable emotionally in its own way at all?


I would say it goes hand in hand, but the prostate stimulation can be quite satisfying. I'm on the fence as to whether it bests penile stimulation, as I've had both be intensely pleasurable. 

There is defintely an emotionality, knowing you are pleasing your partner and you are both in unison. 

Personally, I find the conjunction to be a bit overwhelming (the pressing of the prostate + penile stimulation seems to give me the feeling of needing to urinate) Some men, do not, however and enjoy it. 


Back to women: 

Does size in both length and/or girth matter in terms of your mental and/or physical arousal, vaginally or otherwise?


----------



## 7rr7s

hela said:


> bb if I get Obama to ride a moose, you better bet it's going to be on CNN





Jennywocky said:


> ROFL! Good point.
> But really. it would be worth $100 to have that break national news.
> 
> Maybe other people would like to chip in, to help me cover the bet.


As a News Junkie, and a huge fan of Teddy Roosevelt and Obama, I've got serious money on this.  I would LOVE to see Wolf Blitzer reporting this in The Situation Room! AND can you imagine Anderson Cooper's take on it? Would it make the actual news or the Rediculist?! Fuck the fiscal cliff, I want to see Obama on a Moose! 

Allright enough of the shenanigans, time for some more questions!

1. What's been your greatest accomplishment up to this point? 

2, What's the best Disney Movie? Give reasons! 

3. How attractive is a man with power? 

4. What parent had a stronger influence on you? 

5. Bubble bath with candles. For or against? Why? 

6. On a man: Clean shaven, or Serious mustache/beardage?


----------



## sleepyhead

FlightsOfFancy said:


> Is vaginal sex that rewarding to you?
> 
> I'm gay but it saddens me that women's most sensitive parts are external and largely ignored.
> 
> Do you find it annoying that men are guaranteed orgasms yet you are not?


I don't know if rewarding is the right word, I very much enjoy it though.

I am guaranteed orgasms - my boyfriend makes sure of that.

If a guy I'm with isn't willing to get me off, we probably won't be together very long.


----------



## hela

FlightsOfFancy said:


> Back to women:
> 
> Does size in both length and/or girth matter in terms of your mental and/or physical arousal, vaginally or otherwise?


I don't fantasize about cocks really, more what one can do with them. Girth > length, but if you're too short then you need to be able to use your fingers. 



KindOfBlue06 said:


> As a News Junkie, and a huge fan of Teddy Roosevelt and Obama, I've got serious money on this.  I would LOVE to see Wolf Blitzer reporting this in The Situation Room! AND can you imagine Anderson Cooper's take on it? Would it make the actual news or the Rediculist?! Fuck the fiscal cliff, I want to see Obama on a Moose!


How much money? 



> Allright enough of the shenanigans, time for some more questions!
> 
> 1. What's been your greatest accomplishment up to this point?


Giving INTJs pun-induced migraines.



> 2, What's the best Disney Movie? Give reasons!


_Beauty and the Beast_. Gaston cracks me up.



> 3. How attractive is a man with power?


I'm indifferent. 



> 4. What parent had a stronger influence on you?


Neither.



> 5. Bubble bath with candles. For or against? Why?


I like them occasionally. 



> 6. On a man: Clean shaven, or Serious mustache/beardage?


Clean-shaven is highly preferred. Beards can be cute, but beard burn is not fun. Same goes for mustaches.


----------



## milti

FlightsOfFancy said:


> Is vaginal sex that rewarding to you?
> 
> I'm gay but it saddens me that women's most sensitive parts are external and largely ignored.
> 
> Do you find it annoying that men are guaranteed orgasms yet you are not?


Yes, vaginal sex is rewarding, especially if I'm really into my partner. The feel of him throbbing inside me... And when I hold him close... It all contributes to very good sex for me. :tongue:

Well, if a guy is comfortable doing stuff that I ask for, I don't mind telling him where to focus...

Even if I don't reach orgasm while having sex (I always have though, lol), I can usually masturbate my way to it pretty quickly. Actually whether I have an orgasm or not doesn't really matter to me as much as the loveliness of being with someone I care about.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

hela said:


> Clean-shaven is highly preferred. Beards can be cute, but beard burn is not fun. Same goes for mustaches.


Are we talking stubble here, a few days of growth, or also months worth of growth, as in a serious mustache and beard? I can understand after a trim and when it's short as the freshly cut and short length will make it sharp and the ends pointy like a wire brush. But once he get some length I've been told it becomes less of an issue or even goes away entirely. 

Does the issue remain despite growth and length? Solutions to keep my beard and avoid beard burn?


----------



## hela

HonestAndTrue said:


> Are we talking stubble here, a few days of growth, or also months worth of growth, as in a serious mustache and beard? I can understand after a trim and when it's short as the freshly cut and short length will make it sharp and the ends pointy like a wire brush. But once he get some length I've been told it becomes less of an issue or even goes away entirely.
> 
> Does the issue remain despite growth and length? Solutions to keep my beard and avoid beard burn?


Longer beards are usually not as bad. If it's had a chance to grow out and not be prickly, it's okay; if it's a very light beard/stubble then it's like making out with sandpaper.


----------



## JaySH

hela said:


> Longer beards are usually not as bad. If it's had a chance to grow out and not be prickly, it's okay; if it's a very light beard/stubble then it's like making out with sandpaper.










Is this long enough?


----------



## hela

JaySH said:


> View attachment 59030
> 
> Is this long enough?


Slightly too short, tbh.. maybe another quarter inch or so


----------



## JaySH

hela said:


> Slightly too short, tbh.. maybe another quarter inch or so


Damn...that's as long as I let it get.  Hopefully not all women feel the same...or Im baby facing it....:tongue:


----------



## hela

JaySH said:


> Damn...that's as long as I let it get.  Hopefully not all women feel the same...or Im baby facing it....:tongue:


Yeah that's the issue, right? Because shorter beards are cuter, but the sandpaper aspect is ahhhhhh. I am sure not all women feel the same, though. Don't fret.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

JaySH said:


> View attachment 59030
> 
> Is this long enough?


I'm pretty sure it should be this long :crazy:


----------



## JaySH

hela said:


> Yeah that's the issue, right? Because shorter beards are cuter, but the sandpaper aspect is ahhhhhh. I am sure not all women feel the same, though. Don't fret.



I typically do a goatee except winter months. I let that get a bit longer and never had complaints...well, not usually. But, appearance wise, I think, especially after a fresh haircut, I look better with it trimmed fairly short. Between 5 o'clock shadow and the length in the pic is ideal, look wise, for me.


----------



## JaySH

Mr. Meepers said:


> I'm pretty sure it should be this long :crazy:



Phew...I could rock that shit!

I was thinking she meant...








Something like that


----------



## sleepyhead

hela said:


> Yeah that's the issue, right? Because shorter beards are cuter, but the sandpaper aspect is ahhhhhh. I am sure not all women feel the same, though. Don't fret.


It's true. I think my boyfriend looks so good with a bit of stubble, but it can really hurt, especially when he forgets that it can hurt and is overly vigorous.


----------



## hela

JaySH said:


> Phew...I could rock that shit!
> 
> I was thinking she meant...
> View attachment 59034
> 
> 
> Something like that


HAHAHA yeah no, only if you're from Middle-Earth. 



sleepyhead said:


> It's true. I think my boyfriend looks so good with a bit of stubble, but it can really hurt, especially when he forgets that it can hurt and is overly vigorous.


I find stubble really sexy, but it comes down to me choosing between "holy fuck I could take you right now" and "holy fuck my face." Have you found a solution, or is it just care on his end?


----------



## JaySH

JaySH said:


> I typically do a goatee except winter months. I let that get a bit longer and never had complaints...well, not usually. But, appearance wise, I think, especially after a fresh haircut, I look better with it trimmed fairly short. Between 5 o'clock shadow and the length in the pic is ideal, look wise, for me.


I sometimes use conditioner on my beard, which seems to soften it a bit. But, I don't usually share that so....I've had no outside perspectives to confirm it. Obviously...stubble is stubble..but a bit longer than stubble, and it might help.


----------



## perfectcircle

Ningsta Kitty said:


> 1. your guy gives you a blender for your birthday. what do you say/do?
> 
> "oh I guess you're making me a lotta mixed drinks!"
> 
> 2. your boyfriend of 2 yrs. forgets your birthday. what do you say/do?
> 
> cry & proclaim they do not know me at all
> then they will take me out and give me oral sex and let me pick all his back zits (jk...)
> 
> 3. your guy friend forgets to pick up his (home made) birthday gift at the post office and it's returned to you.
> What do you say/do?
> 
> wait till we hang out to give it to him or if we don't hang out much mail it to his house
> 
> 4. you go on a first date. and it's awesome.
> he drops you off at your door and drives away before you even got the keys out of your pocket.
> Do you think about that?
> 
> yes, unless the rest of the signals were really good, then i'd think maybe he's shy.
> 
> 5. the guy your seeing after 6 months decides to tell you of a shady past. do you stay?
> depends what kind of shady past


fgdfgd


----------



## Jennywocky

Mr. Meepers said:


> I'm pretty sure it should be this long :crazy:


I can crush on Al pretty easily. Even when he's Amish.



hela said:


> Yeah that's the issue, right? Because shorter beards are cuter, but the sandpaper aspect is ahhhhhh. I am sure not all women feel the same, though. Don't fret.


I actually really like stubble, and I especially love to run my hands across it. I prefer it to either totally clean or big bushy hair. I guess we all have our thing.


----------



## Jennywocky

FlightsOfFancy said:


> I would say it goes hand in hand, but the prostate stimulation can be quite satisfying. I'm on the fence as to whether it bests penile stimulation, as I've had both be intensely pleasurable.
> 
> There is defintely an emotionality, knowing you are pleasing your partner and you are both in unison.
> 
> Personally, I find the conjunction to be a bit overwhelming (the pressing of the prostate + penile stimulation seems to give me the feeling of needing to urinate) Some men, do not, however and enjoy it.
> 
> 
> Back to women:


actually, that was the context of my point. If you are a gay male and can appreciate various types of pleasure including direct stimulation as well as penetrative fullness, and the G-spot cells are essentially the same types of cells as the prostrate in the male, then use that as a way to view our experience. There's even just pure emotional satisfaction to be had in being close to someone and/or have them inside of you; it doesn't get any more intimate.

So that was my way of answering your question.



> Does size in both length and/or girth matter in terms of your mental and/or physical arousal, vaginally or otherwise?


Usually there is a sweet spot for me in width and length, where it fits in nicely and I can actively feel it, but it doesn't cause actual PAIN or bump into the end with each stroke. (I like something that can definitely go to the bottom and all the way in but where he also bangs into me at the end of the stroke.)

That physical fullness also gels with my mental/emotional satisfaction, in terms of expectations and seeing it, touching it, then experiencing it.


----------



## Jennywocky

@_KindOfBlue06_
*1. What's been your greatest accomplishment up to this point? *

Probably raising three kids and having them survive to adulthood.  My next great achievement is still being alive and happy, because for much of my life I was very depressed and didn't know if I'd make it; but instead of remaining passive, I made choices to change my life in ways that would make it more fulfilling, and I'm really proud of that now because it was very hard and very scary at times.

Talk to me at the end of 2013, and my plan is to tell you that my next greatest accomplishment was finishing a book.

*2, What's the best Disney Movie? Give reasons! *

Gosh. I'll always have a soft spot for Beauty and the Beast, because the characters resonate with me and seem real, and it deals with transformation and choosing to be brave and sacrifice something that you badly want, out of love and growth.

If I can chose Pixar movies, the movie that most fit my interests was The Incredibles, I saw that movie six times in the theater. From a heartfelt place, my favorite Pixar would be Up, because of the relationship between the Fredericksons. I cried at the beginning of the movie; I cried at the end; I cried because he felt so lost without her and trapped within himself, but when you see what she left him, it's so clear how much she loved him and the joy she found in being with him. And she never actually appears in the main timeline of the movie... which makes it even more amazing.

*3. How attractive is a man with power? *

Meh. For me, not very. Power means nothing. How a man chooses to use power (or restrain his power) means far more to me.

*4. What parent had a stronger influence on you? *

Don't like this question. My dad had the stronger influence, but as a negative influence -- I learned much of what I did not want to be, from dealing with him. It's sad. I still love him, but he really disappointed me, and none of my efforts to connect with him ever went anywhere. My mom, lesser influence, but overall more positive in nature.

*5. Bubble bath with candles. For or against? Why? *

I love it. I might do it tonight after this. I like to make the water as hot as possible, and since I have some allergy issues, I bought battery candles -- they really look just like the real thing, but they don't burn, they're batteries. And I put those on the tub. It just relaxes and soothes me and lets me clear my head without having to think of anything else.

*6. On a man: Clean shaven, or Serious mustache/beardage?*

As mentioned elsewhere, I preference it in this order: (1) Short/stubbly, (2) clean, (3) bearded. I think stubble is hawt. But facial hair is not a make-or-break for me.


----------



## perfectcircle

Ningsta Kitty said:


> If you were to be the first lady (presidents wife) what president would you choose to be your hunny? lol!
> 
> 
> hmmmmm probably Teddy Roosevelt, there are other presidents I like, like Abe Lincoln, even Clinton, & Obama, but I couldn't see myself wanting to be their wife
> 
> If you were to be poor, what generation would you prefer?
> 
> Maybe the 50s or 60s cause it seemed the social standards for a happy life were different, you could be poor and still do things like collect bottles or scraps for money, buy food at the local market, more of a small town ethic that might help neighbors help you out.
> 
> If you were to be a man, which country and what year would you want to have been born in?
> 
> hmm I guess Tibet or a similar kind of country that would value emotional expression or less restricting gender roles, and the year, one of peace xD


f


----------



## carlaviii

KindOfBlue06 said:


> 1. What's been your greatest accomplishment up to this point?
> 2, What's the best Disney Movie? Give reasons!
> 3. How attractive is a man with power?
> 4. What parent had a stronger influence on you?
> 5. Bubble bath with candles. For or against? Why?
> 6. On a man: Clean shaven, or Serious mustache/beardage?


1. Self-publishing. 
2. _Aladdin_. Because he wins by being clever. Close second: _Mulan_, for grrl power.
3. Can't say that I've met a guy with real power yet...
4. Tough call, but personality-wise I'm more like my father. 
5. I don't have anything against it, but I'll probably be bored in about two minutes. 
6. Beard, beard, beard. I am the pro-beard lobby, here. Mustaches on their own are lonely. It doesn't have to be a long beard. Goatees are fine. Tidy, either way. Beards aren't _required_, but...


----------



## Enfpleasantly

KindOfBlue06 said:


> As a News Junkie, and a huge fan of Teddy Roosevelt and Obama, I've got serious money on this.  I would LOVE to see Wolf Blitzer reporting this in The Situation Room! AND can you imagine Anderson Cooper's take on it? Would it make the actual news or the Rediculist?! Fuck the fiscal cliff, I want to see Obama on a Moose!
> 
> Allright enough of the shenanigans, time for some more questions!
> 
> 1. What's been your greatest accomplishment up to this point? *Wow, I'm not sure. I would say a lot of things. I have a lot of determination, and that is definitely tied to my greatest accomplishments.
> *
> 2, What's the best Disney Movie? Give reasons! *Tangled...I just love it. I think if I were a Disney Princess, I would be a weird hybrid of Rapunzel, Ariel, Belle, and Merida. *
> 
> 3. How attractive is a man with power? *VERY...I melt...like putty. It's funny, I don't want power directly, but I like to be close to it; that is of course only if he's admirable as well. *
> 
> 4. What parent had a stronger influence on you? *Both, but probably my Dad. *
> 
> 5. Bubble bath with candles. For or against? Why? *Sure, but not all the time because it makes me cold. I know that's a weird answer, haha!
> *
> 6. On a man: Clean shaven, or Serious mustache/beardage?


*I like stubble on some faces, clean shaven on others. On my Husband I like stubble. *


----------



## carlaviii

FlightsOfFancy said:


> Does size in both length and/or girth matter in terms of your mental and/or physical arousal, vaginally or otherwise?


Well, it matters in that something on the large side is going to need me to be more aroused... okay, I'll admit there's a little extra roud: to meeting an unusual cock, but that would include _anything_ unusual.


----------



## WickerDeer

android654 said:


> Exactly what the word means. You don't feel positively or negatively about the person or the relationship, you're just sort of together and that's how it is for the moment.


I thought of a good song for this--Bjork's Hyperballad





That being said, I don't know if I've ever been in a relationship with a person who I felt neither positively nor negatively about.


----------



## Jennywocky

Enfpleasantly said:


> *[Rapuzel]*


Totally forgot about Rapunzel, but that's a really great movie and easily one of the best "princess" movies Disney made.

Plus, it always hits me hard to see her dad so sad about her disappearance and needing to be consoled. He really loved his baby girl; it was endearing. I don't think I've ever seen a father be given freedom to do that in these kinds of movies.


----------



## WickerDeer

KindOfBlue06 said:


> Allright enough of the shenanigans, time for some more questions!
> 
> 1. What's been your greatest accomplishment up to this point?
> *
> Oh my goodness--I guess just being myself and being alive? I have so many things I want to do. I've always wanted to be a champion of all the wonderful creatures of nature who cannot speak. I want to be a famous painter and a famous writer. I think it would be awesome to be some kind of icon like Cleopatra--but I have to admit that I'm just me and that's kind of an accomplishment IMO--because it's not always been easy. *
> 
> 2, What's the best Disney Movie? Give reasons!
> 
> *Aladdin because it would be awesome to ride on a flying carpet.*
> 
> 3. How attractive is a man with power?
> 
> *Personal power? A man who has power over his life and his self and his own happiness, and who doesn't strive to usurp power from others? Very attractive.*
> 
> 4. What parent had a stronger influence on you?
> 
> *Hard to say. My mom probably, as she raised me. My dad who I saw rarely was kind of like the movie heroes of my imagination--he will forever hold the influence that characters like Batman, James Bond, and the Cowboys of the Wild West do. Both of them hold influence.*
> 
> 5. Bubble bath with candles. For or against? Why?
> 
> *For--except I think it's best if candles are made from natural beeswax. I'm currently trying to make a candle out of coconut butter mixed with shea butter that can double as a massage oil--but I'm worried it will catch on fire. Still--I have to paint the cups that I will pour the candle into, so it's taking longer than I thought.*
> *
> If you want to get all environmental about the bath--what about a bath that pours out into the garden as greywater? Wouldn't that be great?! You could heat it with a passive solar water heater or with a fire. When I was staying at this organic farm/sustainable technology resource center/hippy commune, they had both--and I thought the idea of having an outdoors bathtub that was heated with a wood fire was pretty romantic.*
> 
> 6. On a man: Clean shaven, or Serious mustache/beardage?


The cool thing about clean shaven is that it quickly turns to stubble (which is awesome). But I've never been much for a beard--I believe in the idea of beards but I also like to see face.

Also, answers in bold.


----------



## Sina

Who are your favourite designers? roud: lol


----------



## hela

Boss said:


> Who are your favourite designers? roud: lol


Alexander McQueen.


----------



## Up and Away

When a woman says she wants a knight in shining armor to protect her, what does that mean?

Does she really want protection, or does she just want someone to be positive and hold her?

Or does she want someone that she knows could protect her in any situation. Oh, yeah this one must be it.

But, is the image just as important as the inner man, then?

Is the projection of strength, so important to a woman?

I for example am a big baby, but im a trained fighter, etc...

*shrugs, women.


----------



## Sina

KindOfBlue06 said:


> Allright enough of the shenanigans, time for some more questions!
> 
> 1. What's been your greatest accomplishment up to this point?
> *
> No such thing as the "greatest accomplishment"*
> 
> 2, What's the best Disney Movie? Give reasons!
> 
> *The Lion King; it was beautiful. I don't have the words to explain why I love it. But, I do. *
> 
> 3. How attractive is a man with power?
> 
> *Very ; it doesn't have to be monetary power. *
> 
> 4. What parent had a stronger influence on you?
> 
> *My father*
> 
> 5. Bubble bath with candles. For or against? Why?
> *
> For. The water temperature would need to be just right. Too hot makes me uncomfortable and cold would cause an allergic reaction (cold urticaria lol). *
> 
> 6. On a man: Clean shaven, or Serious mustache/beardage?
> 
> *If a beard suits him, then I'd like a beard. *





Morpheus83 said:


> Do you prefer "women", "womyn" -- or yet another spelling alternative? Any reasons for your personal preference? How much does this matter to you?
> 
> 
> *I don't care. It really doesn't matter.*





Ningsta Kitty said:


> Texty Questions:
> 
> 1. How attached to your phone are you?
> 
> *A bit*
> 
> 2. What would you do if it fell in the toilet (minus the obvious) ?
> *
> Shout, Swear*
> 
> 3. Have you ever sexted ? Do you like it /hate it/ find it awkward ?
> 
> *I have, and I am good at it. I churn out erotic couplets on the damn spot. I am a pro. xD*
> 
> 4. Have you ever had a man send you a penis pic? Were you happy about it?
> 
> *Yes and Yes *
> 
> (I'm NOT talking boyfriend. I'm talking someone you are getting to know)
> *
> Oh in that case No.*
> 5. What has been the most uncomfortable scenario you've been in involving texting?
> (this can be left as an open ended question)
> 
> *NA*


asdjkl;tyqw


----------



## WickerDeer

iamawolf said:


> When a woman says she wants a knight in shining armor to protect her, what does that mean?
> 
> Does she really want protection, or does she just want someone to be positive and hold her?
> 
> Or does she want someone that she knows could protect her in any situation. Oh, yeah this one must be it.
> 
> But, is the image just as important as the inner man, then?
> 
> Is the projection of strength, so important to a woman?
> 
> I for example am a big baby, but im a trained fighter, etc...
> 
> *shrugs, women.


For me, what this comes down to is intent.

I have been exposed to various aspects of male aggression. I kind of think of it in ancient terms. Like, there are some men who will come to your village and they will try to use their male aggression to rape you and kill your children (and your other loved ones). 

And then there is the opposite aspect of male aggression, in which a man will try to protect people who he loves or who he respects (or who he just cares for).

So, to me it's not about the amount of strength a man has, or if he could protect her in any situation, but who's side is he on? 

I really do think that running is an important and logical thing to do, but you can run with your comrades to help protect them. It's about knowing that someone is loyal to you and will care for you in the way they can, just as you are loyal to them and will care for them as you can. 

It's not about the power or ability to protect, but the intent to do so. It's about a woman knowing that you wouldn't use whatever power you have to hurt her or her loved ones, but that you would use it to care for those you love.

And in this way it's not a gendered thing about man saving woman, but a human thing about friendship and betrayal.


----------



## Up and Away

meltedsorbet said:


> For me, what this comes down to is intent.
> 
> I have been exposed to various aspects of male aggression. I kind of think of it in ancient terms. Like, there are some men who will come to your village and they will try to use their male aggression to rape you and kill your children (and your other loved ones).
> 
> And then there is the opposite aspect of male aggression, in which a man will try to protect people who he loves or who he respects (or who he just cares for).
> 
> So, to me it's not about the amount of strength a man has, or if he could protect her in any situation, but who's side is he on?
> 
> I really do think that running is an important and logical thing to do, but you can run with your comrades to help protect them. It's about knowing that someone is loyal to you and will care for you in the way they can, just as you are loyal to them and will care for them as you can.
> 
> It's not about the power or ability to protect, but the intent to do so. It's about a woman knowing that you wouldn't use whatever power you have to hurt her or her loved ones, but that you would use it to care for those you love.
> 
> And in this way it's not a gendered thing about man saving woman, but a human thing about friendship and betrayal.


Thanks, and that makes sense, but, women always wanted the knights, but women dont seem to want the "nice guys" like me, even though im strong, good looking, a trained warrior, lol, etc... 

Is it because, since I'm shy, they think that I couldn't use my power, or, is it just that they want to see me in action more to get turned on or something? I mean I'm a proven warrior, been in actual battle with the military. But, unless I stick my chest out and act like I don't care as much about spirituality, I just get dumped.


----------



## INTJellectual

JaySH said:


> How much influence/inspiration did your mother's and/or father's role in your life play?
> My father has influenced me greatly and I guess he contributed what I am as a whole, personality and interests and mindset. My mother never, but I resemble a lot like her and my brother told me that me and my mother are alike, and I didn't like that xD.
> 
> Who do you feel was more influential?
> Father. I think he's the best dad in the world. I think he's an INTJ, but a lot more argumentative than I am.
> 
> What, if anything did you learn from the examples they set as individuals, as a couple and/or as both?
> Respect and equality. We live in a double-standard community where the woman serve the husband (cooks for him, do laundries, serve the meal, obey the husband), but my father never demanded anything. And my mom's personality is strong and dominant and achiever competitive like and she tells me to stand up on my own and be independent.
> 
> How, if at all, have you applied these in your life as an adult?
> I think I haven't. Situation is different. If I'm being this strong-minded, loud-mouthed, self-centered, not submitting lady, conflict always arises between me and my husband. He's a heavy Thinker and Extrovert. ESTJ Type 3 Te-dom, and you can never really dominate a person like that. So what we do is, acknowledging each other's needs and wants and giving mutual benefits to each other in order to work. He wants control and order and socialization, I want free time, alone time, good food, indulgences, internet, and care and attention from him. He gives me what I want, and I sacrifice inertia. I serve him meals and food. We're happy if our needs are being met.


Answers in red.


----------



## Jennywocky

iamawolf said:


> Thanks, and that makes sense, but, women always wanted the knights, but women dont seem to want the "nice guys" like me, even though im strong, good looking, a trained warrior, lol, etc...
> 
> Is it because, since I'm shy, they think that I couldn't use my power, or, is it just that they want to see me in action more to get turned on or something? I mean I'm a proven warrior, been in actual battle with the military. But, unless I stick my chest out and act like I don't care as much about spirituality, I just get dumped.


I would have to see the specific relationship to provide feedback like that. I mean, as meltedsorbet kind of suggested, women typically respond to men who use their strength in ways that let her know he loves her and will spend that strength to protect her rather than to just gratify himself or hurt others. When you use the term "nice," well, do you think women would rather have "mean" guys to be in relationships with? No.

Also, women are very different in their preferences. Some women like more gentle men; some like more active/combative men. It just really depends on the women. So my question for there, is what type of women are you trying to attract? Are they women who value who you are naturally, or are you approaching women who are looking for guys who are different than who you are?

As far as the shy thing goes, well, personally, I don't like "loud" men that much, or the braggart types, or the ones who have a lot of ambition for tangible things. That's not really my preference. I do like men who I consider brave and strong -- in fact, I require that, as timid men are not a source of attraction to me -- but the way I define brave and strong are men who choose to engage even when they are not sure of themselves, or happen to be scared. They see that someone they love needs them, and they love that person enough to step in even if they're afraid of failing or aren't sure what to do; their love is stronger than their fear or discomfort. So "shy" in general isn't a big deal to me, as long as he is bold in our relationship.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

iamawolf said:


> Thanks, and that makes sense, but, women always wanted the knights, but women dont seem to want the "nice guys" like me, even though im strong, good looking, a trained warrior, lol, etc...
> 
> Is it because, since I'm shy, they think that I couldn't use my power, or, is it just that they want to see me in action more to get turned on or something? I mean I'm a proven warrior, been in actual battle with the military. But, unless I stick my chest out and act like I don't care as much about spirituality, I just get dumped.


It may be either the type of woman that you're going after or the type of women that you're attracting. One of the biggest lessons I'm taking from this thread is that though in some ways all women are alike, and in other ways there are general similarities, in other ways there are types of women, and ultimately each woman is unique. Which also means that one man being himself will not be successful with all women, or even most women. And one man not being unique will not be successful with any woman. As one woman said:



Jennywocky said:


> I guess we all have our thing.


Though I'm always looking for more all and most of the time things. And some people here are or will be book writers. Perhaps eventually we can get a user manual? After all the male user manual is just one line: "Touch penis to turn on." Who'd have thought that one rib could be so complicated.


----------



## WickerDeer

iamawolf said:


> Thanks, and that makes sense, but, women always wanted the knights, but women dont seem to want the "nice guys" like me, even though im strong, good looking, a trained warrior, lol, etc...
> 
> Is it because, since I'm shy, they think that I couldn't use my power, or, is it just that they want to see me in action more to get turned on or something? I mean I'm a proven warrior, been in actual battle with the military. But, unless I stick my chest out and act like I don't care as much about spirituality, I just get dumped.


I don't think I have the answer to your question. For one thing, women want different things. Women are humans just like men. Women have different tastes. On top of that, there are so many factors that influence how you appear to a person. Also, people's desires change with their life experiences.

So basically, the reason why you haven't had success finding your partner is because you're a human being interested in relationships with other human beings.

I'm sure people misread me all the time, and even when they do read me correctly and decide I am not compatible for them--I may not always be in the position to understand why. Plus, I am not even looking for most of them. 

People don't always want your specific variety and there's nothing wrong with that. It's not about being your type of man, but being an individual on their own path of realization. Most people get rejected for a partner by most people (OK--I didn't check the statistics on that but I'm willing to bet). 

If you want to become some kind of homogenized love bait then I'm sure you can--but finding a partner who is fitted to you isn't easy for anyone.


----------



## Up and Away

Jennywocky said:


> I would have to see the specific relationship to provide feedback like that. I mean, as meltedsorbet kind of suggested, women typically respond to men who use their strength in ways that let her know he loves her and will spend that strength to protect her rather than to just gratify himself or hurt others. When you use the term "nice," well, do you think women would rather have "mean" guys to be in relationships with? No.
> 
> Also, women are very different in their preferences. Some women like more gentle men; some like more active/combative men. It just really depends on the women. So my question for there, is what type of women are you trying to attract? Are they women who value who you are naturally, or are you approaching women who are looking for guys who are different than who you are?
> 
> As far as the shy thing goes, well, personally, I don't like "loud" men that much, or the braggart types, or the ones who have a lot of ambition for tangible things. That's not really my preference. I do like men who I consider brave and strong -- in fact, I require that, as timid men are not a* source of attraction to me -- but the way I define brave and strong are men who choose to engage even when they are not sure of themselves, or happen to be scared. *They see that someone they love needs them, and they love that person enough to step in even if they're afraid of failing or aren't sure what to do; their love is stronger than their fear or discomfort. So "shy" in general isn't a big deal to me, as long as he is bold in our relationship.


Got ya, that's fantastic. Can you please provide more about what I bolded there!? 

Examples would be great..


----------



## WickerDeer

I am unable to edit my post for some reason--but I'm serious about clarifying that I don't mean that no one can end up together, but that it's fucking hard to do it for most people. And now, after rewriting that a trillion times, it sounds crappy.


----------



## Jennywocky

iamawolf said:


> Got ya, that's fantastic. Can you please provide more about what I bolded there!?
> 
> Examples would be great..


Well, I'm going to go to bed and will give you more feedback tomorrow, but a quick example is when you see that I'm upset about something, and you're not sure why and you don't even know what to say to me, so the easiest thing for you to do would be to ignore it unless I bring it up; but instead, you actually take the initiative and ask me about it, even when you end up being clumsy with your words.

I mean, I cannot speak for other women, and people are all at different levels of maturity; but for me, that is letting me know that you not only care, but that you cared enough to engage me in an area you are uncomfortable and unsure in... because you love me. When you do stuff like that, I know I can trust you and that you care, and it encourages me to open myself up more.


----------



## Sina

iamawolf said:


> When a woman says she wants a knight in shining armor to protect her, what does that mean?
> 
> *
> Lol. I don't need protection, nor do most women or men. Most of us are not living in a war zone. I don't know what it means besides she's looking for someone strong and reliable? As for me, if my partner is a "knight" (for the sake of argument) ...I view myself similarly. I see us as a team; we're both warriors. We nurture each other, and if the situation calls for it, we will protect each other. It's not exclusively his preoccupation. I am a very protective person myself. I am not smothering in the least, but if someone fucks around with my man, I get enraged. He fights his own battles, but if someone really steps over the line, I am bound to excuse myself, from my partner, and kick ass. That's just my personality. We're not neck deep in each other's business, and we, as I said, fight our own battles, but if push comes to shove, we can bloody well fight next to and for each other.
> *
> 
> 
> 
> Does she really want protection, or does she just want someone to be positive and hold her?
> 
> 
> 
> *
> I would assume that most women are looking for a dependable partner who can be expected to stick around when the shit hits the fan. I am going to assume that men are also looking for that kind of 'protection'--- who doesn't want a strong, consistent, stable and reliable partner? *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Or does she want someone that she knows could protect her in any situation. Oh, yeah this one must be it.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> *
> Well, if the situation calls for it, regardless of sex, you're supposed to stand by your partner and even protect them if needed. I would do it for my SO, and he'd do it for me. It's not gendered.
> *
> 
> 
> 
> But, is the image just as important as the inner man, then?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> *
> I didn't get your point there. What's the inner man?*
> 
> 
> 
> Is the projection of strength, so important to a woman?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> *
> I value strength, integrity and honour in a person, regardless of what's between their legs. *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I for example am a big baby, but im a trained fighter, etc...
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> *
> I am a trained fighter too . My SO and I are both martial artists. *
Click to expand...

asdfjkl;asjskdjlsadohnopostnao!


----------



## Sina

Boss said:


> Who are your favourite designers? roud: lol


I'll take my own question xD (might even ad photos of some favourite dresses later ):

1. Alexander McQueen

2. Naeem Khan

3. Ritu Kumar, Sabyasachi , Abu Jani and Sandeep for Indian clothing

4. John Galliano

5. Zuhair Murad

6. Tom Ford


----------



## Vanitas

*2. What's the best Disney Movie? Give reasons! *
Lion King. Scar. 


*3. How attractive is a man with power? *
'Power' is just an aspect, and what kind of power, how much it corrupts the person/ makes it inconvenient (like, when that power requires the person to be workaholic paranoid), how precarious is that power, whether the man is attractive in the first place for me-- soo.. it depends. 


*4. What parent had a stronger influence on you?* 
Both, in different ways. 


*5. Bubble bath with candles. For or against? Why? *
I'd take the bubble bath but without the candles. I prefer non-bubble as in milk/tea/concoction/herbal/spices bath, though. Bubble baths are slippery and rather sticky-- unless that's exactly what you're going for. 


*6. On a man: Clean shaven, or Serious mustache/beardage?*
Whichever fits him better.


----------



## Vanitas

*1. your guy gives you a blender for your birthday. what do you say/do?*
Thanks. I'll actually use it, ...though if I already have a fully-functional/ serviceable blender and he gifted me a new one.. I'd probably think he's rather weird. 


*2. your boyfriend of 2 yrs. forgets your birthday. what do you say/do? *
It's more likely I'd be the one who forgets. So. It's okay. It happens. We can celebrate the next chance we have time off. 


*3. your guy friend forgets to pick up his (home made) birthday gift at the post office and it's returned to you. *
*What do you say/do?*
Re-send it then call/remind the person to pick it (though next time I probably won't bother to send things). That gift, if homemade, is probably won't be of much use for me/ can't be gifted to other people. Otherwise, I'd give it to someone else/ use it myself. 


*5. the guy your seeing after 6 months decides to tell you of a shady past. do you stay?*
If it's law-breaking and/or abuse-related, to be honest, more likely not.


----------



## carlaviii

Boss said:


> Who are your favourite designers? roud: lol


I'm fat. Liking designers would be useless. 

And the following is not directed at anybody here, just the world in general: believe me, if it really was as simple as _calories in: calories out_, nobody would be fat. Metabolism is a complex, sensitive system that's evolved over millions of years to maximize scarce food supplies. To think you can just beat it into submission is both arrogant and ignorant. There's so much we still need to learn about human biology that it's not even funny.


----------



## carlaviii

iamawolf said:


> When a woman says she wants a knight in shining armor to protect her, what does that mean?
> 
> Does she really want protection, or does she just want someone to be positive and hold her?
> 
> Or does she want someone that she knows could protect her in any situation. Oh, yeah this one must be it.
> 
> But, is the image just as important as the inner man, then?
> 
> Is the projection of strength, so important to a woman?
> 
> I for example am a big baby, but im a trained fighter, etc...
> 
> *shrugs, women.


Kinda pulling together what others have said... yes, being bold enough to take those little risks like asking what's wrong even if you fumble the words a bit. Because yes, I may see the bravery in that -- or I might be cranky at you now and not see it until later. 

It's not being afraid of the little bumps and scrapes of life. Everybody fears those big, heart-breaking disasters and there's nothing wrong with that. It's the ones who are too delicate to risk even asking "what's wrong?" that... well, it just turns into a mess eventually. See that Depeche Mode video re: words left unspoken.


----------



## petite libellule

I seriously have to catch up with this thread 




iamawolf said:


> When a woman says she wants a knight in shining armor to protect her, what does that mean?
> 
> For me, the cliche of a night in shining armor has the meaning of someone who would fight for her. This might mean giving up certain things in life such as excessive alcohol, gambling or women(obviously). This also could mean trying to be a healthier person if she were to have a problem with a 7 day menu plan of nothing but red meat. Fighting for her is essentially (to me) allowing her to influence you. Fighting your urge to be defiant for the sake of being defiant. I think the trick all boils down to finding quality people who will influence you in positive ways to be successful in life as a whole.
> 
> The notion of having a man to protect her, has to do with security. Because I live in America, I think the notion of safety and security has more to do with financial security. Personally, it matters more what a man does with what he has. Because I've seen some people with money go seriously broke and I've seen some broke people make some serious money. There is always money there to be made. No need to go cold hearted cut throat about it, imo.
> 
> Does she really want protection, or does she just want someone to be positive and hold her?
> 
> Both. I'm not walking down dark alley ways by myself. But again, I think this kinda relates to what was mentioned above. I think women want to influence as much as they want to be influenced. I know I want an SO who would influence me to be a better/stronger person. There is an element of protection there.
> 
> Or does she want someone that she knows could protect her in any situation. Oh, yeah this one must be it.
> 
> I disdain men who try to save me from my female feelings. So no. Not in any situation. I'd prefer him to be aware of who I am, what I've been through, to forgive over reactions due to "trigger" situations. And to most importantly, have faith in my capacity to manage my own emotions. I would rather be single than have someone trying to pander to my insecurities etc. I would rather have someone "protect" me by letting me know that they are there if I need them but to have faith in me so I might have the strength to handle things on my own. All of life is not about walking through dark alley ways nor shopping for new clothes (protecting me from the elements of weather). Don't forget, some people are unprotected literally in that they can't even afford a winter jacket.
> 
> But, is the image just as important as the inner man, then?
> 
> Image means nothing for me. It's curious why I so called "intimidate" men (or so I've been told). I think much of this has to do with the fact that I am NOT impressed by job titles (you could be a drunk for all I know) or by fancy cars (you could be making obscene payments with outrageous interest for all I know) or by clothes. This is not to say I am not impressed by someone who has good hygiene and puts effort into how they look. But there is absolutely a limit. I seriously have a keen sense when someone is over compensating. I don't care if you have a horse penis. You could be nothing but a big ball of baggage for all I know. And THAT is the shit that should be "checked" before boarding the plane(relationship).
> 
> Is the projection of strength, so important to a woman?
> 
> The only thing that is projected is self esteem and confidence. That is strength.
> Narcissism will only pass as such for so long.
> 
> I for example am a big baby, but I'm a trained fighter, etc...
> 
> Dear ... ALL men are babies
> 
> the whole "protection" thing is not just for women.
> I think both parties protect each other by filling in each others weaknesses.
> 
> *shrugs, women.


 *shrugs* silly men.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

Not to steal thunder from @_iamawolf_, and thanks for everyone answers.

So there's one side of one coin:

@_Jennywocky_ "take the initiative and ask me about it"
@_carlaviii_ "take those little risks like asking what's wrong"
@_Ningsta Kitty_ "letting me know that they are there if I need them"

I take from this three initiatives.

1. Make himself available.
2. He can tell there is a problem.
3. He asks what the problem is and/or he asks how he can help.

And then there's the other side of that coin:

@_Jennywocky_ "it encourages me to open myself up more"
@_carlaviii_ "I might be cranky at you now and not see it until later"
@_Ningsta Kitty_ "but to have faith in me so I might have the strength to handle things on my own"

I take from this three responses.

1. She may share what the problem is and/or how he can help.
2. She may say not right now and later on share.
3. She may say she doesn't need to talk, doesn't need help, and go on her own.

Bringing in the knight.

1. Allows the knight to take up his sword, enter the castle, slay the dragon, save the princess in the tower, and they live happily ever after.
2. The knight is unable to enter the castle, the dragon free to destroy, and the princess hiding to stay alive, until finally the knight can (See previous)
3. Knights need not apply

@_Ningsta Kitty _I don't think "intimidate" is the right word. I think it's a question of what could a man bring to you that you'd receive aside from physical and financial security. Aside from the external world. Aside from 911 and a check.

And bringing in @_Boss_ for my questions.

As a preface, I'm not interested in similarities between men and woman and things that we both do well. I'm interested in shining the light on what men or women uniquely or exceptionally do that the other does not or possibly cannot. In that state of mind:

1. What that is non-physical and non-financial but instead internal can a man provide to you as a woman that another woman cannot provide?

2. What strengths that you as a woman lack can only be provided in full to you by a man?

3. What strengths that you as a woman have can only be provided in full from you to a man?

4. What is the purpose of man, the reason a man exists?

5. What is the purpose of woman, the reason a woman exists?

And for good measure:

6. What is the meaning of life?


----------



## Jennywocky

Wonderful post, Ningsta...!



Ningsta Kitty said:


> ...The notion of having a man to protect her, has to do with security. Because I live in America, I think the notion of safety and security has more to do with financial security. Personally, it matters more what a man does with what he has. Because I've seen some people with money go seriously broke and I've seen some broke people make some serious money. There is always money there to be made. No need to go cold hearted cut throat about it, imo.




I agree with that too -- that in the US, it's usually more financial security (where in some other countries, it can also involve physical and other aspects). But I don't expect a guy to be rich and gratify my whims; I just need to know I can count on him to do his part in keeping us afloat, just as I am. As much as he doesn't want to have a woman who drains his bank account dry for her own pleasure, I don't want some guy who will leave me to be responsible for all of our finances and I have to cover his sorry ass. "Protective" in this sense for me means he engages and actively makes sure we've got stuff covered for the month before spending money on personal toys, etc.

(Note: I'm assuming we're in a serious relationship at this stage, and living together.)



> Does she really want protection, or does she just want someone to be positive and hold her?
> 
> Both. I'm not walking down dark alley ways by myself. But again, I think this kinda relates to what was mentioned above. I think women want to influence as much as they want to be influenced. I know I want an SO who would influence me to be a better/stronger person. There is an element of protection there.




Same. One of my problems now is that I've been through so much in my life, I've grown a lot, and I'm scared I won't find a guy who will have gone through an equal degree of growth. I want someone who can challenge me to be better while still loving me as I am, and that's what I offer in return. I like a guy who can "look out for me" that way. he's guarding the me he knows I can be.

But I also enjoy the protective arm and feeling physically safe. 



> I disdain men who try to save me from my female feelings. So no. Not in any situation. I'd prefer him to be aware of who I am, what I've been through, to forgive over reactions due to "trigger" situations. And to most importantly, have faith in my capacity to manage my own emotions. I would rather be single than have someone trying to pander to my insecurities etc. I would rather have someone "protect" me by letting me know that they are there if I need them but to have faith in me so I might have the strength to handle things on my own.




Beautiful. Yes.




> Image means nothing for me. It's curious why I so called "intimidate" men (or so I've been told). I think much of this has to do with the fact that I am NOT impressed by job titles (you could be a drunk for all I know) or by fancy cars (you could be making obscene payments with outrageous interest for all I know) or by clothes. This is not to say I am not impressed by someone who has good hygiene and puts effort into how they look. But there is absolutely a limit. I seriously have a keen sense when someone is over compensating. I don't care if you have a horse penis. You could be nothing but a big ball of baggage for all I know. And THAT is the shit that should be "checked" before boarding the plane(relationship).




Same. I don't care if a guy sports a high-ranking job title, fancy cars, fancy houses, or whatever passes for status. It doesn't really mean much. I mean, money is nice, and I want enough to feel secure (to afford the basics + a little bit left over for fun and to chase some dreams), but I just don't care about all those status symbols. I just want an authentic guy who is quietly confident in who he is and knows who he is, and can thus give to others, who I can "be" with and enjoy each day with.



> the whole "protection" thing is not just for women.
> I think both parties protect each other by filling in each others weaknesses.


Great point.


----------



## Up and Away

Wow such great insights in here! @_HonestAndTrue_ you really tied it together so well, wow.

The problem for me is definitely shyness. I guess it's that simple really.

I appreciate what you all are saying about being willing to be vulnerable, however, you have to realize that small things might make me feel vulnerable, but you might not notice how much I'm jumping out of my comfort zone, because people normally typically are not bothered at that level. (Jerry Maguire syndrome)

Ironically, i CAN provide emotional, physical, security, success, etc... however, i often don't, do to being overwhelmed with shyness.

Until the last moment, when it is make or break time, then I really never fail. When it truly counts, I calm down and perform to the best of my ability, but, *shrugs, women want someone that makes their lives better day to day, not just someone that is there in a crisis, lol.

So, for me, its a step by step process where I become more outgoing, eventually getting more dates, and only really getting to the third or 4th date as of now. 

*shrugs, what can i say, thanks everyone for helping me understand all this. Empathy kicks some serious ass.


----------



## hela

HonestAndTrue said:


> 1. What that is non-physical and non-financial but instead internal can a man provide to you as a woman that another woman cannot provide?
> 
> 2. What strengths that you as a woman lack can only be provided in full to you by a man?
> 
> 3. What strengths that you as a woman have can only be provided in full from you to a man?


I can't think of anything male-specific or female-specific that cannot be provided to me as an individual by other _individuals_, rather than by specifically a male or specifically a female. I can't think of anything in particular that men offer that I cannot get from a woman, and vice versa. 



> 4. What is the purpose of man, the reason a man exists?
> 
> 5. What is the purpose of woman, the reason a woman exists?


Procreation. 



> And for good measure:
> 
> 6. What is the meaning of life?


42.


----------



## petite libellule

hela said:


> 42.


awww, I was gonna say that! :tongue:

@_iamawolf_ you're fine.  shy or not, the fact you think about the things you do puts you ahead of the game on many levels. some people never even _wonder_. what a horrible existence that would be to never wonder about life, love and our place w/in it.

@_Jennywocky_ thank you ) all of what you touched upon resonates with me as well.

@_HonestAndTrue_ I'm afraid you misinterpreted me. 


HonestAndTrue said:


> I take from this three initiatives.
> 
> 3. He asks what the problem is and/or he asks how he can help.
> 
> For me it's really all about finding someone who is 1) willing 2) wanting 3) and ready, to be there for me.
> 
> And then there's the other side of that coin:
> 
> @_Ningsta Kitty_ "but to have faith in me so I might have the strength to handle things on my own"
> 
> I take from this three responses.
> 
> 3. She may say she doesn't need to talk, doesn't need help, and go on her own.
> 
> yeah, kind of like a cat  Not that I want to go on my own separately.
> But I must admit. I am the type of person that needs space in order to be fully productive/functional/at my best.
> 
> Bringing in the knight.
> 
> 3. Knights need not apply :sad: But then I have no one to love and adore & admire
> 
> @_Ningsta Kitty _I don't think "intimidate" is the right word. I think it's a question of* what could a man bring to you that you'd receive aside from physical and financial security*. Aside from the external world. Aside from 911 and a check.
> 
> He’d keep me from falling in spaces not meant to be occupied. He’d share in all the unique, beautifully bitter sweet and ridiculously silly existence(challenges) of my life. He’d remind me to hold on tight; because I am young and so I do(would), but I forget so he hugs me often so as to remind me. He could bring me courage in packets of no worries. There’s nothing to it remarks scratching up my worried look. he’d give me assurance in shrugs or at least the sun. It could shine really bright while we’d walk down, then up, then down, then up again, till he’d say let’s stay awhile;with his eyes, that would break up into a million butterflies blotting out the sun he gave. It would be a language only I would understand, so I’d curl up into a little ball, falling in his chest, warm in his heart where blood stained hands would stitch my soul with silver linings. Finally after I caught the clouds that fell from his dreams, he’d bring me dirty shoes and pockets full of sand and memories. Memories of purple slurpies and lots and lots of brain freeze, breaking up my secrets like shattered glass. Which would cause me talking about my thinking about me talking about my thinking about my talking about thinking about nothing until he would place his hands on my shoulders and say _stop_. And I, would be so thankful(happy) he was there.
> 
> A man could bring me love, laughter, emotional connection. He could help me to step out of my head.
> 
> And bringing in @_Boss_ for my questions.
> 
> 1. What that is non-physical and non-financial but instead internal can a man provide to you as a woman that another woman cannot provide?
> 
> Friction. Men have a different PoV often times. They think different. Their way of being is by and large different. I crave that friction (resistance) (push and pull) of relationship. But I'd like to make note that both my male and female friends are all capable of bringing me the experience of who there are, which in turn creates the opportunity for us to share the experience of life. We share our happy and remind each other those sad moments will move out of the way for future happy(nesses).
> 
> 2. What strengths that you as a woman lack can only be provided in full to you by a man?
> 
> Aside from the obvious physical strengths, advice. I tend to respond softer to the advice of men than from women. Men have me at more 'full attention' mode. I think much of that has to do with the fact that I'm quite often the 'wiser' or fair weather friend that my female friends go to for advice or counseling. However, I do recognize there are many many women much wiser than my self. I'm speaking of irl experience.
> 
> 3. What strengths that you as a woman have can only be provided in full from you to a man?
> 
> I am not sure, what I could offer a man would be of great value to some and not so for others. I suppose I specialize in emotional well being in a way. I very much do reflect that cliche of INFJ in that I'm somewhat of a naturally inclined "counselor". Being happy and finding peace is somewhat of a preoccupation for me. I suppose I just share that; huggy face kissy bear stuff
> 
> 4. What is the purpose of man, the reason a man exists?
> 
> I think that the purpose of man is what he chooses it to be. I think that all in all, life is but a game. And it's called by your name. I think that time and money are your only currencies to purchase your wants. I think that the team your on is on you. How you keep the people you do while you learn, grow and re-meet you is a skill. Like patience. To be practiced & perfected every day.
> 
> 5. What is the purpose of woman, the reason a woman exists?
> 
> see above.
> 
> And for good measure:
> 
> 6. What is the meaning of life?


To maintain your homeostasis of happy.


----------



## Vanitas

*1. What that is non-physical and non-financial but instead internal can a man provide to you as a woman that another woman cannot provide?* Other than societal infrastructures? Nothing. I believe beside obvious physical differences, the merits of heterosexual relationships (compared to homosexual ones) is pretty much just the recognition/ preference/ socialization for it that the world (still) have. 


*2. What strengths that you as a woman lack can only be provided in full to you by a man? *Opening jars.


*3. What strengths that you as a woman have can only be provided in full from you to a man? *I.. have no idea. Normally it'd be bearing his kids, but I'm childfree. 


*4+5. What is the purpose of man, the reason a man exists?* *What is the purpose of woman, the reason a woman exists? *Because apparently some great ancestor/life/universe considered gender split/ merging of genes by sexual reproduction necessary/ it seemed like a good idea at the time.


----------



## Sina

@_HonestAndTrue_



> As a preface, I'm not interested in similarities between men and woman and things that we both do well. I'm interested in shining the light on what men or women uniquely or exceptionally do that the other does not or possibly cannot. In that state of mind:


I'll have to be honest. I don't believe that any of this is male/female specific. It really is dependent on the individual and varies from person to person (regardless of sex). There's no such thing that I can only get from a man and can't from a woman (aside from sperm for procreation purposes lol) and vice versa. I will answer your questions from the standpoint of what my partner (biologically male) can give me, and how he complements me. And, I am sure a woman could provide the same were I to look for one, assuming sexual attraction to other women.



> 1. What that is non-physical and non-financial but instead internal can a man provide to you as a woman that another woman cannot provide?


My partner provides a kind of dignified patience that I don't always have. He is accepting, understanding and flexible in ways that I am sometimes deficient in. He provides a gentle strength (and he is an assertive person who doesn't suffer fools gladly, so he has this interesting duality that I like [@iamwolf, my SO is INFJ which is the same as your type if I remember correctly]) and sensitivity. He humanizes me.

He encourages me to relax when I am in workaholic mode, and he brings a lot of sensuality to my otherwise staid life at this time xD. He is a man of principles, fortitude and integrity, and I look up to him. We look up to each other and are constantly inspired by each other. We often joke that he'll teach me patience, and I'll end up teaching him the fine art of retaliation. I like that he has a soothing presence, and that I can drop my guard and be vulnerable before him. I like that I can trust him to never kick me when I am down and never abuse the trust I place in him when I open up to him emotionally. 

He has made me a more sensitive, happier, more inspired and more humane individual. I am grateful for that and a lot more I can't condense in a post. 




> 2. What strengths that you as a woman lack can only be provided in full to you by a man?


I will again emphasize that strength distribution is not gendered. If I lack any quality, it has nothing to do with being biologically female, and if there are qualities a man possesses, it has nothing to do with his being biologically male. 

The qualities I lack which my SO provides are:- patience (except when it comes to focusing on my goals, then I am very patient), sensitivity, forgiveness, flexibility




> 3. What strengths that you as a woman have can only be provided in full from you to a man?


As a person of my word, I bring a lot of solidity, stability, commitment, strength, honesty, generosity, humour, resilience, lust, poetry and drive to a relationship. My partner enjoys my so-called forceful nature, and he sees it as a strength as opposed to a source of insecurity for him. My partner is a strong, principled person as well. Though, his patience and sensitivity help smoothen my rough edges.

If he wants children like I do, I can provide my uterus in full for 9 months to accomplish this task. And, only he, as a male, can provide sperm for this undertaking. 



> 4. What is the purpose of man, the reason a man exists?


Procreation and the sexual fulfillment of my 'unbridled' heterosexual desires xD



> 5. What is the purpose of woman, the reason a woman exists?


Procreation et. al


> And for good measure:
> 
> 6. What is the meaning of life?


Pleasure, Generosity, Ambition


----------



## carlaviii

HonestAndTrue said:


> 1. What that is non-physical and non-financial but instead internal can a man provide to you as a woman that another woman cannot provide?
> 2. What strengths that you as a woman lack can only be provided in full to you by a man?
> 3. What strengths that you as a woman have can only be provided in full from you to a man?
> 4. What is the purpose of man, the reason a man exists?
> 5. What is the purpose of woman, the reason a woman exists?
> 
> And for good measure:
> 
> 6. What is the meaning of life?


I was here last night and started to write an answer, but I had just posted something very melancholy over in the INTJ forum and it all came out in a depressing hash... so I tossed it and figured I'd try again in the morning when my brain has rebooted itself. 

Yeah, I still don't have much of an answer. :dry: I'm still heavily under the influence of my current train wreck and not able to see that I "need" anybody (of either gender) in my life right now. I'm not in the market for a(nother) long term relationship.

Intellectually, I would say that it's the other-person-ness that people need, whichever gender it is that they prefer. Which other posters have already said. I would probably also point out that the physical and financial benefits are not insubstantial, seeing as how men still earn about 30% more for the same job and they do tend to be larger/stronger than females. 

Aside from that, it's a matter of what each individual "needs," so far as strengths, in their partner. So there are as many answers for #2 and 3 as there are people. 

#4 & 5 -- biology or religion, take your pick. Or combine them.


----------



## petite libellule

what do you think of the following (cumbersome) statements: These are pretty negative sounding statements. Putting whatever your feeling might be of them aside, what do you think about them ?

1. There are 2 kinds of people in this world: Users and Losers

2. Nobody likes a bleeding heart

3. Money can't buy you happiness, but at least you can choose your misery

4. The whole world is singing the same song, "Hooray for me! Fuck you."

5. When in doubt, move a pawn.

6. There are 3 types of people in this world: Those who think and those who calculate.


----------



## Jennywocky

Ningsta Kitty said:


> what do you think of the following (cumbersome) statements: These are pretty negative sounding statements. Putting whatever your feeling might be of them aside, what do you think about them ?


*1. There are 2 kinds of people in this world: Users and Losers*
Wow. Sounds like everyone sucks.

*2. Nobody likes a bleeding heart*
Wow. Not allowed to express emotions/compassion anymore either.

*3. Money can't buy you happiness, but at least you can choose your misery*
Wow. All outcomes suck.

*4. The whole world is singing the same song, "Hooray for me! Fuck you."*
I bet they're not even singing in tune. 

*5. When in doubt, move a pawn.*
That doesn't really help; we're all pawns.

*6. There are 3 types of people in this world: Those who think and those who calculate.*
Amusing, since the third is missing. The "calculate" is negative.


... not sure what you were hoping to get. They all seem to be rather cynical, which leads me to dismiss them even though I can laugh at them as jokes and say, "Yup, sometimes it feels that way." But it's not, really; the world is more complex.


----------



## petite libellule

Jennywocky said:


> ... not sure what you were hoping to get. They all seem to be rather cynical, which leads me to dismiss them even though I can laugh at them as jokes and say, "Yup, sometimes it feels that way." But it's not, really; the world is more complex.


Thank you! We're in agreement 

I wasn't looking for anything in particular. And I wouldn't be upset if anyone found anything I haven't already found within those statements. That is why I suppose I put them on the table.


----------



## petite libellule

Another set of statements, what are your thoughts:

1. Trust everyone and the world will destroy you. Trust no one and you'll save them the trouble.

2. There are 2 types of people in the world: Users and Losers and then there are those superior. 

3. Never make eye contact whilst eating a banana 

4. Money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you a chair to be unhappy on.

No statement, Just question:

Is there a difference between a bleeding heart and an open heart? If so, what is it?


----------



## carlaviii

Ningsta Kitty said:


> 4. Money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you a chair to be unhappy on.


4b. Money can't buy you happiness, but it will pay for internet access. 

Given how tight my budget has been, and for how long, I'm willing to argue with the "money doesn't buy happiness" idea. It sure does raise the floor on how miserable you can be.


----------



## Jennywocky

carlaviii said:


> 4b. Money can't buy you happiness, but it will pay for internet access.
> 
> Given how tight my budget has been, and for how long, I'm willing to argue with the "money doesn't buy happiness" idea. It sure does raise the floor on how miserable you can be.


I'm not looking to "money" to bring meaning to my life, but after being in some really crappy circumstances that last 6-8 months, I definitely can see a minimal amount of money as necessary to reduce stress and provide opportunities that one can invest in to achieve some level of contentedness. When you're worried about a roof over your head and food on the table all the time, that does NOT bring happiness; and money can alleviate that feeling of impending doom that sours even the positive moments.


----------



## petite libellule

Jennywocky said:


> I'm not looking to "money" to bring meaning to my life, but after being in some really crappy circumstances that last 6-8 months, I definitely can see a minimal amount of money as necessary to reduce stress and provide opportunities that one can invest in to achieve some level of contentedness. When you're worried about a roof over your head and food on the table all the time, that does NOT bring happiness; and money can alleviate that feeling of impending doom that sours even the positive moments.



Maslow's hiearchy of needs ...


----------



## Jennywocky

Ningsta Kitty said:


> 2. There are 2 types of people in the world: Users and Losers and then there are those superior.


Finally! A quote that is all! about! me! *Galinda beams*



> 3. Never make eye contact whilst eating a banana


It depends on what you're trying to accomplish with the eye contact. 

It reminds me of the shrimp scene from "Flashdance."



> Is there a difference between a bleeding heart and an open heart? If so, what is it?


My personal perception is that a bleeding heart is actually more about the person who is empathizing; they enjoy feeling the intensity of what they feel when they perceive someone else's pain, and it makes them feel good about themselves to help them and be recognized by others as a compassionate individual. it also seems that they cannot handle the thought of pain actually being a positive motivating force in the growth cycle either; it must simply be stopped immediately. Also, rationality tends to go out the window; wanting to help someone is only half the battle, coming up with a realistic plan that actually accomplishes the goal is also necessary.

An open heart is much more reasonable, thoughtful, and other-centered, IMO. It doesn't determine that it must fix everyone's problem as some personal mission of charity; but it listens, it observes, it offers advice, it engages, it gives options, it cares. But it's not nearly as desperate as the bleeding heart.


----------



## nevermore

What do you think about men who are too afraid to make the first move?

What has your experience been with the male ego?

How do you deal with a difference between sex drives in relationships? If a man had a lower sex drive than you, would it bother you more?

If a man sucked at something he was passionate about, would you tell him?

Would you date a man who'd had sex with men (if he was committed to you)?

Do you find men tend to have have different tastes in food than women?

Why do you think many women say they are bothered by men who "spend longer than they do getting ready in the morning" or "own more beauty products than they do"? Can you relate to these statements?


----------



## sleepyhead

@nevermore

*What do you think about men who are too afraid to make the first move?*
I understand it. I've been there too. It can be cute, but it can also be frustrating. Really depends on the circumstances. My boyfriend was afraid to on our 1st and 2nd date, so at the end of the 2nd one I said, "So can we kiss now?" I think it's a cute story and I think he kind of liked that I just put it out there.

*What has your experience been with the male ego?*
Mixed. Sometimes it doesn't come in at all. Sometimes it's all about the ego. It really depends on the person.

*How do you deal with a difference between sex drives in relationships? If a man had a lower sex drive than you, would it bother you more?*
I haven't really had to deal with this. If it's an issue, we would talk about it but who can say what the outcome would be. If someone was pressuring me to have more sex than I wanted, that would be a major issue for me. If he has a higher drive but is okay helping himself out, then I'm fine with that too.

*If a man sucked at something he was passionate about, would you tell him?*
A random man? No. My partner? Yes, but not so outright - I'd try and support him but also troubleshoot and problem solve as much as we can. Ultimately, what he does is his decision though.

*Would you date a man who'd had sex with men (if he was committed to you)?*
I haven't but I don't think I'd have an issue with it.

*Do you find men tend to have have different tastes in food than women?
*I don't think this has anything to do with gender or sex at all. This is an extremely individual thing.

*Why do you think many women say they are bothered by men who "spend longer than they do getting ready in the morning" or "own more beauty products than they do"? Can you relate to these statements?*
I can't really relate. My boyfriend does take longer than me and does own more products than me, but I don't really care. The only time it annoys me is when I'm ready to go and he needs 10 or 15 extra minutes, but by now I'm used to it.


----------



## Vanitas

*What do you think about men who are too afraid to make the first move?*
They're not interested enough. 


*If a man sucked at something he was passionate about, would you tell him? 
*Unless I'm his boss/supervisor and it's my job to, no. 


*Would you date a man who'd had sex with men (if he was committed to you)?
*No/depends. But likely no, though I haven't thought about it. 


*Do you find men tend to have have different tastes in food than women?*
In general, no. Though usually the ones who care about calories and nutrition are women.


----------



## hela

nevermore said:


> What do you think about men who are too afraid to make the first move?


I don't have a problem with it, but they need to be aware that many women will and that not making the first move might stretch out their timeline for romantic loooooooveeeeeee. 



> What has your experience been with the male ego?


It sometimes needs stroking. 



> How do you deal with a difference between sex drives in relationships? If a man had a lower sex drive than you, would it bother you more?


Mine is pretty high, so I just drop to whatever they're comfortable with (provided it's a compatible level). All of my bfs have had a lower sex drive than me. It's nbd. 



> If a man sucked at something he was passionate about, would you tell him?


Depends... does he want to get better at it, or does he just want to have fun with it?



> Would you date a man who'd had sex with men (if he was committed to you)?


Sure. 



> Do you find men tend to have have different tastes in food than women?


No.



> Why do you think many women say they are bothered by men who "spend longer than they do getting ready in the morning" or "own more beauty products than they do"? Can you relate to these statements?


Traditional gender roles say that the woman should be the high-maintenance partner in the relationship. I don't relate to either of those statements.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

Just two open questions.

Completely known as in the entirety of the actions you have taken in life, everything you have heard, seen, thought, felt is known. No secrets, no shadows, nothing private, nothing held back. 

1. Have you before, do you today, or are you open to a future where you are completely known by another person?

2. Do you or would you want to completely know another person?

--



Boss said:


> my SO is INFJ [...] He humanizes me.


He's doing quite a good job. With this post I can now see you as human too. Thank you for sharing.

--


Ningsta Kitty said:


> @_HonestAndTrue_ I'm afraid you misinterpreted me.


I'm sorry. Wasn't the first time. Won't be the last time. But always feel free to set me straight. I'm just a silly man after all.:happy:

*yeah, kind of like a cat  Not that I want to go on my own separately. *

So some women are like cats. Understood. And then you lost me again in the next sentence. Is not 'on my own' going separately?

3. Knights need not apply :sad:* But then I have no one to love and adore & admire 

*Catch 22. As I see it, women, and men, must choose between these two:

A) Being accepted as they are today. Unwilling to change and grow. Unwilling to let go of their individuality and independence for a duality and interdependence. No knight.

B) Being accepted for the journey they are on. Willing to change and grow. Willing to let go of their individuality and personal independence for a duality and interdependence. Knight is welcome.

In some ways like @_Boss_ said above, on the same team. Though when I read @_Boss_ words I read two people on a team filling the same role. Whereas I see two different roles. Thinking back you and I are in agreement on this from another thread. Maybe I'm looking so detailed I'm seeing differences in our opinions where perhaps no differences exist.




Ningsta Kitty said:


> ^ THIS.
> 
> I am no longer feeling confused. You made it make sense, perfectly ...


*

[...]

**he would place his hands on my shoulders and say stop. And I, would be so thankful(happy) he was there.**

A man could bring me love, laughter, emotional connection. He could help me to step out of my head.*

I understand this perfectly.

Man->Woman: *Friction, advice*

Yup.

Woman->Man: *I am not sure*

How I heard one guy put it, man is nothing and woman is everything. So what a woman can give a man is herself, and thus everything.

*I think that the purpose of man is what he chooses it to be.*

Yup.

5. What is the purpose of woman, the reason a woman exists?

see above.

:sad: Almost. To me only when she can see the purpose of a woman different than the purpose of a man is she then a woman ready for a knight to act knightly. Taking from the other thread I could take that you see a different purpose and just didn't choose to share it again here.

Thank you. You've brought much clarity.

I guess what I take from this and previous posts is this. What women say they want and what women really want often times are not the same thing. A man is to find inside one woman who she really is. A woman is to allow one man to find inside her who she really is. And a knight is a man who does this with the same one woman every day.


----------



## android654

HonestAndTrue said:


> 3. Knights need not apply :sad:* But then I have no one to love and adore & admire
> 
> *Catch 22. As I see it, women, and men, must choose between these two:
> 
> A) Being accepted as they are today. Unwilling to change and grow. Unwilling to let go of their individuality and independence for a duality and interdependence. No knight.
> 
> B) Being accepted for the journey they are on. Willing to change and grow. Willing to let go of their individuality and personal independence for a duality and interdependence. Knight is welcome.


And that's why relationships don't work out.


----------



## Vanitas

*1. Have you before, do you today, or are you open to a future where you are completely known by another person? *No.
*2. Do you or would you want to completely know another person?* No. 


To know everything, I believe, is to become them. To stay separate/ be your own self, there are parts that are yours alone. They cannot and should not be shared. I'm not interested to be a part of a hive mind. I will never completely understand another person and that is fine.

<-- a 3, touchy about (sense of) identity.


----------



## nevermore

Vanitas said:


> *To know everything, I believe, is to become them.* To stay separate/ be your own self, there are parts that are yours alone. They cannot and should not be shared. I'm not interested to be a part of a hive mind. I will never completely understand another person and that is fine.
> 
> <-- a 3, touchy about (sense of) identity.


Interesting. I've thought philosophically about the bolded before and come to the same conclusion. I'm a 3 too, so that may be a part of it...


----------



## Enfpleasantly

android654 said:


> What would define as a typical man's idea of "sexy?"
> 
> Do you find yourself more interested in men physically that you would characterize as sexy or cute?


A man's idea of sexy? Well, that will be different for each man, but I would guess it would be whatever says "woman" to him the most. Woman in mind, body, and spirit is probably sexy to him. 

Sexy


----------



## android654

hela said:


> Who says I'm joking?


Well look who's interesting.


----------



## 2eng

OK I have a couple...

If something were to happen to you would you be ok with your SO getting with your best friend?

Do you enjoy driving?

When your SO goes out for "guys night" would you be ok with him going to the strip club? Why or why not?

What do you think of strip clubs for women (if you've been to one)? Sexy? Funny? WTH is the point???

Have you ever tried to lick your own nipples?

If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?

If there was one thing you could change about the world what would it be?

If you were given the opportunity to go into outer space would you take it?


----------



## hela

2eng said:


> OK I have a couple...
> 
> If something were to happen to you would you be ok with your SO getting with your best friend?


Sure. 



> Do you enjoy driving?


Especially at night. 



> When your SO goes out for "guys night" would you be ok with him going to the strip club? Why or why not?


I don't have a problem with it, I don't view it as cheating or anything other than a fun thing to do. 



> What do you think of strip clubs for women (if you've been to one)? Sexy? Funny? WTH is the point???


I've never been to a male strip joint.



> Have you ever tried to lick your own nipples?


Yes.



> If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?


Explore everything, always and forever. 



> If there was one thing you could change about the world what would it be?


Erase Oreos from the universe. Disgusting. 



> If you were given the opportunity to go into outer space would you take it?


In a heartbeat.


----------



## carlaviii

2eng said:


> If something were to happen to you would you be ok with your SO getting with your best friend?
> Do you enjoy driving?
> When your SO goes out for "guys night" would you be ok with him going to the strip club? Why or why not?
> What do you think of strip clubs for women (if you've been to one)? Sexy? Funny? WTH is the point???
> Have you ever tried to lick your own nipples?
> If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?
> If there was one thing you could change about the world what would it be?
> If you were given the opportunity to go into outer space would you take it?


1. I have no problem with it, but I doubt it would happen -- neither of them is gay 
2. Yes, I love it. Stick shift. 
3. The idea of my SO going to a strip club is funny beyond the telling of it. He'd never make it through the door.
4. Never been to one. Would, if I had the chance.
5. Of course. 
6. Pay everything off, and then make some major changes.
7. Reset the wealth distribution to a uniform density. It wouldn't last long, I know, but it sure would shake things up. 
8. In a heartbeat.


----------



## Jennywocky

@2eng

*If something were to happen to you would you be ok with your SO getting with your best friend?*
Of course I'd want two of the most important people of my life to be happy, and if they were together, that's even better.

*Do you enjoy driving?*
Yes. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to run a car on a track... fast.

*When your SO goes out for "guys night" would you be ok with him going to the strip club? Why or why not?*
It depends on the shape of our relationship. If I felt like he was going to a strip club to avoid hard work in our relationship, I'd be pissed; otherwise, if we had a great relationship and a great sex life, I wouldn't much care.

*What do you think of strip clubs for women (if you've been to one)? Sexy? Funny? WTH is the point???*
What do you "wth is the point"? I'm not sure the point for guy clubs is any better than the one for girl clubs.
I think it would be kind of fun (never gone yet), but it would be more about laughing with my girlfriends and sharing the experience, than necessarily oogling the guys on stage.

*Have you ever tried to lick your own nipples?*
Hee. Now that's the million-dollar question, isn't it? 

*If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?*
Pay off all my bills. Get a decent place to live and pay it off. Pay my kids' college tuition. Once all that was squared away, I'd see what I had left, figure out what to stick in retirement funds, and start having fun with the rest. Some of it would go to travel, some toward projects of mine, and some to causes I care about. And a fast car. 

*If there was one thing you could change about the world what would it be?*
Since you said "one thing," I can't answer this without more thought.

*If you were given the opportunity to go into outer space would you take it?*
It's not even a question: Yes.
In fact, I'd even consider going on a long-term space flight where I might never see people I knew back on earth in my lifetime.
If you've seen Jodie Foster in "Contact"... well, that's very much me.
I have to see, explore, and know -- and the thought makes my heart leap.


----------



## Sina

2eng said:


> OK I have a couple...
> 
> If something were to happen to you would you be ok with your SO getting with your best friend?


Assuming you mean I were to die or be comatose for an indefinite period of time lol, yes I would be totally fine with that.



> Do you enjoy driving?


I used to. And, I will start enjoying it again after a balance disorder has been sorted out.



> When your SO goes out for "guys night" would you be ok with him going to the strip club? Why or why not?



Yeah, I would be ok with that. Though, my SO is against going to strip clubs for ethical reasons lol. 



> What do you think of strip clubs for women (if you've been to one)? Sexy? Funny? WTH is the point???


I've never been to one. I'd like to check one out though.




> Have you ever tried to lick your own nipples?


No 



> If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?


Invest. 
Buy my dream houses, at least one in each continent lol.
Travel the world
Set some aside for charity



> If there was one thing you could change about the world what would it be?


There's more than one.
Eliminate hunger, inequality, child abuse and mindless violence



> If you were given the opportunity to go into outer space would you take it?


Yes


----------



## Vanitas

*If something were to happen to you would you be ok with your SO getting with your best friend?*
Depends. If it's too soon and/or under certain kind of circumstances, it's probably best for everyone if I cut off relations with both of them. 

*When your SO goes out for "guys night" would you be ok with him going to the strip club? Why or why not?*
I'm probably okay with it. I think he hates that sort of place more than I do. (no, seriously) 

*What do you think of strip clubs for women (if you've been to one)? Sexy? Funny? WTH is the point???*
In general, I don't find looking at naked male bodies appealing. I draw and I have to look at nude references sometimes (often of models, since they're all over the internet), and still don't get why people squee at this.

I might go if my girlfriends drag me into one, though. Then be uncomfortable all night. 

* If you were given the opportunity to go into outer space would you take it?*
Sure.


----------



## Diamondeyes

Women, do you masturbate? What's your personality style and age?

Have you ever had an orgasm?

Girls that don't or haven't may lie or just not answer, the results may show only girls who do and have - throwing the true answers and results off?


----------



## carlaviii

Diamondeyes said:


> Women, do you masturbate? What's your personality style and age?
> Have you ever had an orgasm?
> Girls that don't or haven't may lie or just not answer, the results may show only girls who do and have - throwing the true answers and results off?


1. Yes. I'm an INTJ and I'm 41. 
2. Yes. Quite a few. 
3. _shrugs_ There aren't any honesty police. Then again, what do we gain by lying here? vs. telling the truth?


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> How do you define cheating?
> when someone is sexually intimate with someone other than their SO if and only if the people have NOT discussed boundaries that are out of the traditional norm. I'm not saying that non traditional boundaries/relationships are not okay, I'm just saying that I feel it respectfully reasonable to consider traditional monogamy to be the "default" mindset and therefore appropriate to communicate other needs/wants that either of the parties wish to have that deviate from the norm. (hope that made sense).
> 
> How would you feel if you uncovered your SO had been lying to you? About something little? Something large? An affair? Depends, irritated for the most part. But I'd overlook it and let it go if it was obvious they were trying to spare my feelings (in attempts to b sensitive) or something like that. Something big? More than irritated. Frankly speaking, I'd be turned off. I'd think they were a pussy for being too afraid to be honest. Affair? Hypothetically as I've never really been in the position. I suppose I'd feel incredibly betrayed and crushed. More so if it were an emotional affair.
> 
> Is there anything a SO could do that you would consider to be unforgivable? Something that would be cause to terminate the relationship?


 habitual cheating for sure. If it was a one time thing, idk. Emotional affair. Stealing. Smoking crack, robbing banks and forgetting to splurge on me with the profits . etc.


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> What would define as a typical man's idea of "sexy"
> I think that varies greatly depending upon the man. Way too vague of a question I'm afraid.
> 
> Do you find yourself more interested in men physically that you would characterize as sexy or cute?


 not necessarily.


----------



## petite libellule

Diamondeyes said:


> Women, do you masturbate? What's your personality style and age?
> yes. INFJ. 33.
> 
> Have you ever had an orgasm?
> yes
> 
> Girls that don't or haven't may lie or just not answer, the results may show only girls who do and have - throwing the true answers and results off?


 what?


----------



## HonestAndTrue

Ningsta Kitty said:


> what?


Well they haven't faked it with me.


* *


----------



## petite libellule

2eng said:


> OK I have a couple...
> 
> If something were to happen to you would you be ok with your SO getting with your best friend?
> am I dead? Sure. If I had little kids and was dead or on my way out, I would prefer it.
> What other scenario do you mean?
> 
> Do you enjoy driving?
> absolutely!!!
> 
> When your SO goes out for "guys night" would you be ok with him going to the strip club? Why or why not?
> yes. Because I'd be the one to benefit when he came home. If it were a habit, no. If he went out of his way to go, no. If he came home and his kiss tasted like a glitter bratz doll, NO! If he came back "not in the mood" , wtf.
> 
> What do you think of strip clubs for women (if you've been to one)? Sexy? Funny? WTH is the point???
> the point is women are sexual being too. The mere fact you asked what the point is irritates me. Nothing personal. Just felt like letting u know  personally, I'm pretty inexperienced with them. I've been to 2 bachelorette parties and not such a fan. But I am a fan of seeing my friends have a blast before they marry.
> 
> Have you ever tried to lick your own nipples? lol!!!! Funny.
> 
> If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?  Love this question! But I'll have to get back to it. On my way out. But I do so luv this infamous hypothetical
> 
> If there was one thing you could change about the world what would it be?
> I'd outlaw pig butt , I mean bacon
> 
> If you were given the opportunity to go into outer space would you take it?


of course!!! I'd b crazy not to!!!


----------



## Nastorm

2eng said:


> OK I have a couple...
> 
> If something were to happen to you would you be ok with your SO getting with your best friend?


They don't get along but yeah.


> Do you enjoy driving?


I don't have a car to drive.


> When your SO goes out for "guys night" would you be ok with him going to the strip club? Why or why not?


Sure, if the guys night stopped being endless Fifa. Nbd.


> What do you think of strip clubs for women (if you've been to one)? Sexy? Funny? WTH is the point???


Haven't been in one. I think it's silly.


> Have you ever tried to lick your own nipples?


No, but now I will try out of curiosity.


> If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?


It's a long list, but the main idea is spend it.


> If there was one thing you could change about the world what would it be?


Replace all the weird and scary bugs with normal bugs.


> If you were given the opportunity to go into outer space would you take it?


Are ya kidding?


----------



## Jennywocky

Diamondeyes said:


> Women, do you masturbate? What's your personality style and age?


yes, although I think about it more than I actually do it -- I just get caught up in other things. 

INTP, 44



> Have you ever had an orgasm?


Lol. What do you think?


----------



## stardeep

android654 said:


> How do you define cheating?
> 
> How would you feel if you uncovered your SO had been lying to you? About something little? Something large? An affair?
> 
> Is there anything a SO could do that you would consider to be unforgivable? Something that would be cause to terminate the relationship?


my partner has chosen to repeatedly cheat on me emotionally since very early in our relationship: phone sex with others, sex chat rooms, an abundance of porn instead of sex with me.

in the beginning I was too insecure, too needy of validation (and unwilling to self confront just how NOT validating his choices were) to leave. He's stopped, as far as I know, with interactivity with other women. But the porn has remained, to the detriment of any healthy sex life.

now I don't need the validation. I stay because I made a commitment to this, and figure from it all comes growth. I've stopped trying to fight for a healthy sex life with someone who clearly has different needs and preferences than I. I accept now that's how he is, and I have chosen to focus my energies elsewhere.

it's made me a pretty jaded and sad INFJ.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

@_stardeep_ Some of the details may vary, but it's a common story I've heard from multiple INFJs on here. Curious what his type is.

Multiple Questions:

At what stages of a relationship do you make what levels of commitment to another person? Examples may be spending extra time, sharing more than you do with friends, exclusivity, etc.?

Have you ever been dating more than one person at a time? Had feelings for more than one person at a time? Did you continue dating two people who you both had feelings for? Did you, and how did you, decide to pick one over the other?

At what stage do you use the titles "boyfriend" and "girlfriend"? Do you use them if you haven't physically met yet?

Did you say "I love you" first or did they say it first? How long into, at what stage into the relationship, and how was it first said?

If you have kids that require a babysitter, for a first date, would you expect him to pay for the babysitter? Would you allow him to? Would you not accept him paying? How about after the first date?

Is dinner, a movie, and drinks after too boring?


----------



## countrygirl90

@Diamondeyes



> Women, do you masturbate? What's your personality style and age?


yes ,ESTJ, 22



> Have you ever had an orgasm?


 yes



> Girls that don't or haven't may lie or just not answer, the results may show only girls who do and have - throwing the true answers and results off?


don,t know exactly what this question means ............


----------



## carlaviii

HonestAndTrue said:


> 6. Generally how long does foreplay last, how long do you want it to last, and how long does intercourse last?


Does the 45 minutes of talking nerdy to each other count as foreplay? roud:


----------



## Enfpleasantly

HonestAndTrue said:


> Kissing:
> 1. When you start to kiss do you turn your head to the right or left?
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 2/3 of couples turn their head t othe right.
> 
> 
> 
> *To the right*.
> 
> 2. How many hours of your life have you spent kissing? (Best guess.)
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The average person spends 336 hours.
> 
> 
> 
> *I have no idea, a lot? I like kissing*.
> 
> 3. How many men did you kiss before you got married?
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The average woman kissed 29 men before she got married.
> 
> 
> 
> *Ummm...6 I think*.
> 
> Sex:
> 4. Have you had a one-night stand?
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 58 percent of singles have
> 
> 
> 
> *No.*
> 
> 5. Have you had sex on a first date?
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 55 percent of singles have
> 
> 
> 
> *No*.
> 
> 6. Generally how long does foreplay last, how long do you want it to last, and how long does intercourse last?
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Generally foreplay lasts 12 minutes, people want it to last 18, and intercourse lasts 5-7 minutes.


* It varies...sometimes we don't have time for extra stuff, and I am fine with that. I can operate perfectly fine without foreplay; I think I'm like a guy in that aspect. Other times we have a lot more time, which is always nice. The actual deed varies as well, depending on me. 
*


----------



## hela

HonestAndTrue said:


> Kissing:
> 1. When you start to kiss do you turn your head to the right or left?


Left 



> 2. How many hours of your life have you spent kissing?


100+, I have no idea



> 3. How many men did you kiss before you got married?


Never been married



> 4. Have you had a one-night stand?


Yes



> 5. Have you had sex on a first date?


Yes



> 6. Generally how long does foreplay last, how long do you want it to last, and how long does intercourse last?


It depends. Sometimes there is no foreplay. Other times it may last for hours. My preference depends on mood

For intercourse: depends on if I'm with a man or a woman


----------



## Mr. Meepers

carlaviii said:


> Does the 45 minutes of talking nerdy to each other count as foreplay? roud:


I say yes .... Especially if it is dirty nerd talk


* *





A Mathematician's Pick Up Line:
I wish I was your Derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves

A Biologist's Pick up line:
If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes

*starts making them up and they are lame now*
Physicist:
You must be negatively charged ... Because I find myself positively attracted to you

Okay, I got nothing 
^^ That should be what a string theorist says XD


----------



## milti

HonestAndTrue said:


> Kissing:
> 1. When you start to kiss do you turn your head to the right or left?
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 2/3 of couples turn their head t othe right.


Right.



> 2. How many hours of your life have you spent kissing? (Best guess.)
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The average person spends 336 hours.


Not a lot :crying: I've forgotten the number, even, but it's probably close to 20. So 20 kisses in ten years (lol) that's two kisses a year, and how many times can you kiss the same person? NOT GOOD! :laughing:



> 3. How many men did you kiss before you got married?
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The average woman kissed 29 men before she got married.


I'm not married and the number is something like 19 or 20. Soooo. 20+ by the time I am married (hopefully, lol)



> Sex:
> 4. Have you had a one-night stand?
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 58 percent of singles have


Yes



> 5. Have you had sex on a first date?
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 55 percent of singles have


Yes



> 6. Generally how long does foreplay last, how long do you want it to last, and how long does intercourse last?
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Generally foreplay lasts 12 minutes, people want it to last 18, and intercourse lasts 5-7 minutes.


Errr, foreplay is long enough for my liking. I don't know how to put a time to it, maybe I should set a stopwatch next time. 
Intercourse has always been very quick. Usually because (1) I was doing it out in the open, (2) I was doing it in secret with someone I shouldn't have, and (3) I was doing it out in the open. I learnt how to be discreet about it and my philosophy is "just do it asap and get the hell out of there."


----------



## HonestAndTrue

Hmm...

Are you right-handed or left-handed?

Eliminating butt, breasts, and the boneyard, where does touch have the most effect on you?

What's your shoe size?

How many hours of social time do you average a day?

If I asked you to go home with me, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this one?

How many hours of sleep do you average a day?


carlaviii said:


> Does the 45 minutes of talking nerdy to each other count as foreplay? roud:





Mr. Meepers said:


> I say yes .... Especially if it is dirty nerd talk


Programmer:
I checked your syntax and found no errors. Wanna go compile?


----------



## Enfpleasantly

HonestAndTrue said:


> Hmm...
> 
> Are you right-handed or left-handed?* Right handed, right footed, right eared, Left eyed. *
> 
> Eliminating butt, breasts, and the boneyard, where does touch have the most effect on you? *Neck, back, ear, collarbone, in creases of elbows and behind knees. *
> 
> What's your shoe size? *7-7.5*
> 
> How many hours of social time do you average a day? *Uh, if this place counts, a ton...if not, then not much. Weekends are different though. *
> 
> If I asked you to go home with me, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this one? *What? *
> 
> How many hours of sleep do you average a day? *8*
> 
> 
> 
> Programmer:
> I checked your syntax and found no errors. Wanna go compile?


Does it make me boring if I say no? I feel like my answers are always really boring :/


----------



## HonestAndTrue

Enfpleasantly said:


> Does it make me boring if I say no? I feel like my answers are always really boring :/


Isn't saying no saying you're not bored, and thus that you're not boring? You're answers are fine. I think the questions are really boring, and thus the person asking the questions is boring.


----------



## sleepyhead

*Are you right-handed or left-handed?*
Right.

*Eliminating butt, breasts, and the boneyard, where does touch have the most effect on you?*
I honestly have no idea what "the boneyard" is. Neck, back, particularly the sides, my feet, ears.

*What's your shoe size?*
Sometimes I can fit a small women's 5, but I often buy kids shoes usually in size 2-3, depending on style and brand. 

*How many hours of social time do you average a day?*
As in seeing others? Outside of work? I would say 5-7 hours a week.

*If I asked you to go home with me, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this one?*

*
How many hours of sleep do you average a day?*
Usually around 8 - I find it's typically not enough.


----------



## carlaviii

HonestAndTrue said:


> Are you right-handed or left-handed?
> Eliminating butt, breasts, and the boneyard, where does touch have the most effect on you?
> What's your shoe size?
> How many hours of social time do you average a day?
> If I asked you to go home with me, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this one?
> How many hours of sleep do you average a day?
> Programmer:
> I checked your syntax and found no errors. Wanna go compile?


1. Right-handed
2. Neck. Spine. Palm of my hand.
3. 9 1/2, wide. 
4. If the internet doesn't count, just about none. If the internet does count, then four or five hours a day.
5. 
6. I suspect it might.
7. According to your syntax, I hope you and Mr. Meepers have a good time... :kitteh:


----------



## Jennywocky

@_HonestAndTrue_

*Are you right-handed or left-handed?*

Practically speaking, I am right-handed.
But I found out in my 30's that I tried really hard to be left-handed as a child and my parents kept forcing me to use my right hand. 
I wondered why my handwriting has never been steady.
I honestly was really upset when I found out that they did that, and they never told me. It was a violation of sorts to me.
(So technically, I should be a lefty.)

*Eliminating butt, breasts, and the boneyard, where does touch have the most effect on you?*
nape of neck, inside of forearms, inside of thighs. In my last relationship, when my bf stroked my forearms, I'd actually kind of get dizzy. It was really funny.

*What's your shoe size?*
 Now you're getting a little personal, aren't you?

*How many hours of social time do you average a day?*
What is "social time"? If online time counts, then I'm socializing on and off all day. 
I get tired if i have to socialize too long IRL, depending on who I am with.
However, I do have RPG groups I spend a few hours with at a time, and have fun.

*If I asked you to go home with me, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this one?*
I guess it depends on what I'd be doing.

*How many hours of sleep do you average a day?*
4-5 during the week (last night I only got about 3). On the weekends, probably 8-9 hours.
Yes, I know that's not good for me. It's the perils of being a night owl in a morning-person's world.

*I checked your syntax and found no errors. Wanna go compile?*
As long as my browser doesn't crash because of a bad connection!


----------



## Jennywocky

@_HonestAndTrue
_*Kissing:
1. When you start to kiss do you turn your head to the right or left?*

I honestly have no idea. I tilt my head to the right, I guess. I'm too focused on the soft whisper of our lips upon each other, my hands running through his hair, his hands stroking my face gently and pulling me in closer, bodies starting to rub gently against each other, fitting into each other's, the small tentative tap of his tongue on mine, slowly moving around each other, teasing, imploring, begging....

Should I really know what direction I turn my head?

*2. How many hours of your life have you spent kissing? (Best guess.)*
Gawd. I would have liked to spend a lot more than I *have*, I know that much. I like kissing almost as much as sex.
Probably 150 or something.

*3. How many men did you kiss before you got married?*
How many altogether? 
7, I think, including my spouse, before marriage.
9 altogether, now.

*Sex:
4. Have you had a one-night stand?*
No

*5. Have you had sex on a first date?*
No.

But my first sex experience was a menage a trois. Go figure. I guess I'm the sort who just jumps right in the deep end!

*6. Generally how long does foreplay last, how long do you want it to last, and how long does intercourse last?*
For foreplay can last anywhere from 15-60 minutes. Technically, even just interacting during the day can work as "foreplay," because it turns on the heat for me. it really depends on my mood. Sometimes I just want to go straight into it, hard and fast; other times I want to take time and move slow. 

Intercourse, hmm, that can go anywhere from 5-10 minutes to maybe 30 minutes, I guess. but I start to get sore at some point even with lube.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

@HonestAndTrue, thanks...and your questions aren't boring!


----------



## qingdom

How to maintain showing a woman a good time on any kind of social outing (date/excursion/gathering/function/ball/gala/etc) should conversations falls to awkward silence?


----------



## HonestAndTrue

Not sure if anyone saw this below. Your thoughts?


* *













Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/21/n...ase-date-me-sign-in-search-for-love.html?_r=1


----------



## carlaviii

qingdom said:


> How to maintain showing a woman a good time on any kind of social outing (date/excursion/gathering/function/ball/gala/etc) should conversations falls to awkward silence?


If you figure this out for guys, please bottle it.


----------



## carlaviii

HonestAndTrue said:


> Not sure if anyone saw this below. Your thoughts?


Sympathies, but not really thoughts.


----------



## milti

HonestAndTrue said:


> Hmm...
> 
> Are you right-handed or left-handed?


Right handed



> Eliminating butt, breasts, and the boneyard, where does touch have the most effect on you?


Neck/throat, collar bones, hip bones!! :crazy: Inner thighs.



> What's your shoe size?


I have no idea what US sizes are, but mine is a 7. (US, I think?)



> How many hours of social time do you average a day?


If I'm not online, I'm on the phone. If I'm neither online or on the phone, I'm outside. If I'm none of those three, I'm asleep. Soo - the majority of my day is spent talking to people, meeting friends, or chatting online with them.



> If I asked you to go home with me, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this one?


 
*blank stare*
*still trying to figure the logic out* 














> How many hours of sleep do you average a day?


Not much. Maybe 6-7 hours.


----------



## milti

qingdom said:


> How to maintain showing a woman a good time on any kind of social outing (date/excursion/gathering/function/ball/gala/etc) should conversations falls to awkward silence?


I hate awkward silences on a date. >.< 

I guess you can turn it around by bringing the topic back to her. "What do you think of ___?", "What do you like?" Also, one thing which I think many introverts fail at is keeping a conversation _going_. We are good listeners, but showing that we care what the other person is saying is important too. I use a lot of gestures, a lot of exaggerated "really?!", "wow!" and exclamations like that to keep a conversation moving and show the other person I'm really registering what they say. I think about it and make observations.

People tend to find me warm and trusting because they can see I'm truly interested in getting to know them, whether the end result is a date-like encounter or just friends. Everyone is a potential good friend - even that really cute guy I'm scared of approaching. 

Hope this helps!


----------



## Jennywocky

milti said:


> I guess you can turn it around by bringing the topic back to her. "What do you think of ___?", "What do you like?" Also, one thing which I think many introverts fail at is keeping a conversation _going_. We are good listeners, but showing that we care what the other person is saying is important too. I use a lot of gestures, a lot of exaggerated "really?!", "wow!" and exclamations like that to keep a conversation moving and show the other person I'm really registering what they say. I think about it and make observations.


I agree about your assessment of introverts, and just bringing up questions that might seem general but actually to me are just part of the art of conversing. It's good to always keep a number of questions like that in mind, in case conversation falters.

I'm not sure of the degree you mean when you talk about the gestures and comments you make in a conversation. I *have* actually modified / grown my conversational approach to externalize more than I would do in general, because I realized I had to give people cues that I was either interested in what they were saying or that I wanted to be talking to them (if you don't show anything, people might not realize you're actually enjoying yourself). I'm just careful not to overdo it.

There is currently a radio ad about some place that helped a woman save $25,000 on her federal taxes, and the interviewer guy drives me nuts -- every little pause in her canned speech, he is interjecting some useless irrelevant word, like he's just waiting to make some noise every little time she pauses. I want to scream at him on the ad to just shut up, lol! But of course he can't hear me. So I'm careful not to OVERDO my cues because it can sound fake sometimes. But I definitely would suggest that introverts imagine how the other person might be reading them and what level of interaction they are offering, so that we can then give some signals that we are indeed participating in the conversation...


----------



## Ellis Bell

surra said:


> Hello ladies! What do you think about masturbation with your partner and do you ever do in it secret or are you open about it?


I think I might do it in front of a partner--depending on if they're comfortable with it. I'd do it so he can see what gets me off, how he can improve what he's doing, etc.


----------



## Swordsman of Mana

I'm sure 100 people have already asked this, but I'm going to anyway. do you masturbate?


----------



## All in Twilight

Swordsman of Mana said:


> I'm sure 100 people have already asked this, but I'm going to anyway. do you masturbate?


No, they don't masturbate and they don't pee and poo. I saw it.

You know Swordy, *places cute little Swordy in lap* when I was young, all my fantasy women never had to use the bathroom. I kid you not. Nowadays when I hear my gf, pee, it's exit. Sometimes they do that, leaving the door open, start peeing and talking to you at the same time. They call this multitasking. I mean, what the hell is that all about? No, it's not sexy, it's disgusting. It's sexy if you let me believe that you don't pee and poo. And you can only masturbate if I can watch for strategic entertainment purposes and to scare off cats and my friends in some cases.


----------



## Jennywocky

All in Twilight said:


> I kid you not. Nowadays when I hear my gf, pee, it's exit. Sometimes they do that, leaving the door open, start peeing and talking to you at the same time. They call this multitasking. I mean, what the hell is that all about?


Lol. Yeah, conversations don't necessarily end just because someone is in the bathroom. 

Realistically, I guess if you bled 20-25% of the month and had to go though pregnancy and also clean up the body fluids and solids of little kids for a prolonged period of time, you'd get used to body functions as just another messy part of human existence. It just is what it is. 



> And you can only masturbate if I can watch for strategic entertainment purposes and to scare off cats and my friends in some cases.


My cat never seems to get scared. He just stares intently, like he's trying to figure out what to make of it. He's supposed to be neutered, but now I suspect they didn't get it all.


----------



## All in Twilight

Jennywocky said:


> Lol. Yeah, conversations don't necessarily end just because someone is in the bathroom.
> 
> Realistically, I guess if you bled 20-25% of the month and had to go though pregnancy and also clean up the body fluids and solids of little kids for a prolonged period of time, you'd get used to body functions as just another messy part of human existence. It just is what it is.


That's why! How am I supposed to know these things? My relationships don't last longer than app 40 minutes. And then I'll pay them and send them home again. 



Jennywocky said:


> My cat never seems to get scared. He just stares intently, like he's trying to figure out what to make of it. He's supposed to be neutered, but now I suspect they didn't get it all.


Do you talk to your cat while playing with yourself? Why am I asking you this? Well, I felt awfully prudish when I was reading your reply and now I am trying to hide this by cracking a lot of jokes. Why can't I just lie like everybody else? I have no idea. *blushes violently*


----------



## Jennywocky

All in Twilight said:


> That's why! How am I supposed to know these things? My relationships don't last longer than app 40 minutes. And then I'll pay them and send them home again.


I must be in the wrong business. I don't get paid for two weeks at a time.



> Do you talk to your cat while playing with yourself? Why am I asking you this? Well, I felt awfully prudish when I was reading your reply and now I am trying to hide this by cracking a lot of jokes. Why can't I just lie like everybody else? I have no idea. *blushes violently*


Sometime I just leer at him back momentarily if he's sitting there watching.

Sometimes I lock him out of the room because he creeps me out. But then he will scratch at the door to be let back in, which breaks the mood. Wow, this story is getting even creepier, the more I talk about it. If a guy did that, I'd definitely send him home after 40 minutes.


----------



## All in Twilight

Jennywocky said:


> Sometimes I lock him out of the room because he creeps me out. But then he will scratch at the door to be let back in, which breaks the mood. Wow, this story is getting even creepier, the more I talk about it. If a guy did that, I'd definitely send him home after 40 minutes.


*laughs*

Yeah, I used to scratch my parent's bedroom door to get a piece of the action. But don't forget, I was only 16 at that time.


----------



## wiarumas

Valentines day is approaching. Omitting your situation or opinions on it (no 'I'm single' or 'we/I don't celebrate because romance is 365/24/7'), what is the ideal valentines day gift? What gift, if any, is unwelcomed or unappreciated (ie, flowers are cliche, lingerie implies a sex demand, etc).


----------



## Enfpleasantly

qingdom said:


> How to maintain showing a woman a good time on any kind of social outing (date/excursion/gathering/function/ball/gala/etc) should conversations falls to awkward silence?


I'm in a long term relationship, so silence is fine with me once in a while. I would say just being genuinely interested in each other and having a truly good time is what will feed the most energy. 



HonestAndTrue said:


> Not sure if anyone saw this below. Your thoughts?
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/21/n...ase-date-me-sign-in-search-for-love.html?_r=1


Well, I value people who think outside of the box and are cool with putting themselves out there. I wouldn't necessarily reject a person doing this, to be honest. 



Swordsman of Mana said:


> I'm sure 100 people have already asked this, but I'm going to anyway. do you masturbate?


What do you think???



wiarumas said:


> Valentines day is approaching. Omitting your situation or opinions on it (no 'I'm single' or 'we/I don't celebrate because romance is 365/24/7'), what is the ideal valentines day gift? What gift, if any, is unwelcomed or unappreciated (ie, flowers are cliche, lingerie implies a sex demand, etc).


I like the cliche gifts, but with a twist. I also appreciate some tradition...for instance, it's the one day I get my favorite chocolate covered strawberries, which is special because it's only 1 of 3 times of the year the chocolate place makes them. So I appreciate something like that. I love flowers, but I don't like that they die and I can't keep them, so bulbs of my favorite flowers would be an awesome spin on this...then I could plant them and keep them year after year. Lingerie is nice, but I would rather he pick me out a cute casual dress, or maybe something else that I would look forward to wearing out (new pair of heels, handbag, etc.) then we go to dinner, and then go shopping together for lingerie and play with it later. 

At the same time, a laid back quiet evening in where we cook a wonderful dinner and dessert together, have wine, listen to music, and watch a movie snuggled on the couch would work just fine for me. 

I could come up with a gazillion of these scenarios. I'm not sure there would be a gift I wouldn't like unless it was something totally not me, but even something not me might turn out to be something I end up loving.


----------



## milti

Jennywocky said:


> I agree about your assessment of introverts, and just bringing up questions that might seem general but actually to me are just part of the art of conversing. It's good to always keep a number of questions like that in mind, in case conversation falters.
> 
> I'm not sure of the degree you mean when you talk about the gestures and comments you make in a conversation. I *have* actually modified / grown my conversational approach to externalize more than I would do in general, because I realized I had to give people cues that I was either interested in what they were saying or that I wanted to be talking to them (if you don't show anything, people might not realize you're actually enjoying yourself). I'm just careful not to overdo it.
> 
> There is currently a radio ad about some place that helped a woman save $25,000 on her federal taxes, and the interviewer guy drives me nuts -- every little pause in her canned speech, he is interjecting some useless irrelevant word, like he's just waiting to make some noise every little time she pauses. I want to scream at him on the ad to just shut up, lol! But of course he can't hear me. So I'm careful not to OVERDO my cues because it can sound fake sometimes. But I definitely would suggest that introverts imagine how the other person might be reading them and what level of interaction they are offering, so that we can then give some signals that we are indeed participating in the conversation...


I am a huge gesturer, lol. That's how everyone speaks here. It's a bit subtle when I talk in English, but if I have to talk in any Indian language I need to use a lot of gestures to get my point across because my vocabulary sucks. Also, another tip, speak loud and clear. Many introverts I know mumble and it can be hard to understand them, let alone respond.
I live in a VERY extroverted culture, I had to learn the tricks of the game.


----------



## Huxleic

Which is more important- the size of the boat or the motion in the ocean?


----------



## Jennywocky

Huxleic said:


> Which is more important- the size of the boat or the motion in the ocean?


I feel like I need to wear a rain jacket to deal with all the inevitable "froth" jokes... *doh*


----------



## carlaviii

wiarumas said:


> Valentines day is approaching. Omitting your situation or opinions on it (no 'I'm single' or 'we/I don't celebrate because romance is 365/24/7'), what is the ideal valentines day gift? What gift, if any, is unwelcomed or unappreciated (ie, flowers are cliche, lingerie implies a sex demand, etc).


_fighting to be specific..._ Flowers are all right, actually. Bonus points if he took the time to find out I prefer humble and/or different flowers (daisies, irises, etc.) Going out to dinner a notch above our usual price range. Seeing a movie we've been meaning to catch, on DVD at home with a full spread of popcorn, candy, and ice cream on hand.


----------



## carlaviii

Huxleic said:


> Which is more important- the size of the boat or the motion in the ocean?


I'll quote myself: Size is nice. Skill is better. Good chemistry can trump both.


----------



## countrygirl90

@KindOfBlue06



> 1. What's been your greatest accomplishment up to this point?


Apart from scoring highest marks in exams and winning some school awards ,its my confidence and self realization which I felt lacking in me ,most of my life .



> 2, What's the best Disney Movie? Give reasons!


Aladdin ,because It was full of adventures,mysteries and sweet love story of jasmine and Aladdin .And The Jinn ,whose antics used to make me laugh all the time.



> 3. How attractive is a man with power?


Very attractive, only if he is as fearless and man of his words too.



> 4. What parent had a stronger influence on you?


My father had strong influence on me ,because I have always been his favorite child and since I,m the only daughter in my family , he has always been as protective and caring towards me as possible.My mother always says that I,m as proud and stubborn as him ,usually when she gets pissed off by me . 



> 5. Bubble bath with candles. For or against? Why?


 For ,because it creates a sensual and relaxing atmosphere ,which helps in relaxing and relieving tension or stress.



> 6. On a man: Clean shaven, or Serious mustache/beardage?


I like clean shaven men that look young( between 20-30) ,but for middle aged and rugged personality men I like mustache or trimmed mustache and slight beard .Sometimes it depends on build of man too ,for large frame men ,I like Mustache , for lean and less muscular men ,I prefer clean shave.


----------



## ValK

Purely out of curiosity: Why do girls have such a huge sense of vanity?


I don't even know if I asked it right


----------



## carlaviii

ValK said:


> Purely out of curiosity: Why do girls have such a huge sense of vanity?


I'd have to be completely delusional to be vain, after growing up as a fat girl. It's taken a lot of work to convince myself that I'm not actually hideous.


----------



## Infermiera

wiarumas said:


> Valentines day is approaching. Omitting your situation or opinions on it (no 'I'm single' or 'we/I don't celebrate because romance is 365/24/7'), what is the ideal valentines day gift? What gift, if any, is unwelcomed or unappreciated (ie, flowers are cliche, lingerie implies a sex demand, etc).


Nice thread. I wonder what questions lie within these pages. I'll read through this later. I want to answer this one though. For me, Valentines day is all about flowers. They are only cliche if they're not well thought of. A few years ago, I got interested in poetry and came across this poem. 

A White RoseTHE red rose whispers of passion,
And the white rose breathes of love;
O, the red rose is a falcon,
And the white rose is a dove.

But I send you a cream-white rosebud
With a flush on its petal tips;
For the love that is purest and sweetest
Has a kiss of desire on the lips 


John Boyle O'Reilly


I think the sweetest gift someone could give me is a a white rose with a touch of red on the tips. I know it's cheesy but when my guy friends ask me what they should give their significant other I always suggest this. A single rose along with a copy of this poem. They thank me a lot on the 15th so it probably works.

The worst would be anything unromantic like a can of beans or something. With lingerie, at least your SO is thinking of love making which means they find you desirable. What woman won't want that?


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Huxleic said:


> Which is more important- the size of the boat or the motion in the ocean?


He has both...so both works for me!! 



ValK said:


> Purely out of curiosity: Why do girls have such a huge sense of vanity?
> 
> 
> I don't even know if I asked it right


I'm going to answer this as honestly as possible with hope that I don't sound awful. Being pretty has always been a part of my identity; when I was little, I was always told how pretty I was...it seemed to be all I really needed to be to anyone, just pretty. As I grew up, I realized that people tend to separate beauty from brains, especially if you're smiley and bubbly, which is absolute crap. I refused to abandon one over the other even though part me had always felt a little awkward getting myself prettied up the way I wanted to, for fear of being judged as the ditzy blonde, or for fear of being at the receiving end of catty women criticism. I wouldn't allow myself to fall into the ditzy blonde role that society seemed to want to peg me in, either (only responsibility in this world: looking pretty and shopping while being confused by big words). 

My point is, maintaining a certain level of vanity is important to me because it's my way of staying true to myself by saying "I can be pretty AND smart, as well as many other things".


----------



## HonestAndTrue

What days of the year do you expect a gift/something extra special?

Say you've just met and connected. How soon after do you expect the gift/something extra special to start?

What is the biggest mistake that people make on a first date?

If you are/were not in a relationship are you more reluctant to enter into one in the weeks or days leading up to certain days on the calendar?

If you are/were not in a relationship would you see others being reluctant to enter into one with you in the weeks or days leading up to certain days on the calendar?

Why is six afraid of seven?

Is it the thought that counts?


----------



## carlaviii

android654 said:


> How do you address your parents? By their first names? By parental titles?
> What would you do if tomorrow you were forced to start a completely new life, abandon the life and the people you have now and with a completely new identity? Where would you go? Who would you be? How would you live your life?
> Do you follow a religion? If so, why?
> Have you ever been curious about experimenting with the same sex (if you're straight) or the opposite sex (if you're gay)? IF you haven't what stopped you? If you have what compelled you to take the first step?
> Do you have a particular talent that you could capitalize on but haven't? Are there factors keeping you from doing so?


1. Mom and Dad
2. Forced? Well, it would take force to leave the cats behind... I would live alone in a small apartment, be the reclusive hermit writer that I'm halfway to being already. Somewhere in the northeast US. Smallish town. 
3. Yes. Because I believe it's right. It might be true, too.
4. No. Oddly, I've never been the least bit curious about lesbianism. 
5. Dammit, I'm trying to capitalize on it! Art just doesn't pay well.


----------



## milti

android654 said:


> How do you address your parents? By their first names? By parental titles?


Mum, Dad - most commonly. But also:
Mummy, Daddy
Amma, Appa (Tamil) (when we are with extended family and I should be talking in our language)
Ma, Papa (Hindi) (when we use Hindi)
Mother, Father when I'm being silly
"Sir" when my father is really, really really fucking MAD at me. - eg. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING, YOUNG LADY?!!!" - "y-yes, sir." (That's been happening more and more lately!) :/ 



> What would you do if tomorrow you were forced to start a completely new life, abandon the life and the people you have now and with a completely new identity? Where would you go? Who would you be? How would you live your life?


Wow... I would probably wander about for a bit feeling lost, then get to a place with a beach and chill out. I'd be a model if I could. I'd be the sort of girl who can wear a swim suit with ease, who can afford high fashion, who really cares about doing her nails and everything. Who lounges around on the beach with skimpy clothes, cute flip flops and a sarong, and puffs away at her joint without any worries, can easily down huge amounts of alcohol, and later retreats to a hotel room to do whatever the hell people do with cocaine. Who has long flowing hair and a beautiful figure that people are jut dying to be seen with. Who has giggly girl friends and flirty boy friends. Who has a couple of piercings in each ear, microdermals in her skin, maybe a tattoo or two, and highlights in her hair. I'd use it as an opportunity to live out my current fantasy of singing at local clubs with local bands.  Also, just to see what a non-mundane life can be like, and whether being pretty really makes things easier for you in the world.

Or... y'know... Just take off into the wilds of whatever and talk to the gorillas. I'd love that too.



> Do you follow a religion? If so, why?


I was brought up as a Hindu, so I guess I'm a Hindu. I don't really do anything in particular that would mark me out as a Hindu, though, apart from staying off meat and not wearing leather. I don't go to temples or pray or anything.

It was different when my grandmother was alive. I had to touch her feet to seek her blessings and bow in front of all her gods every time I visited. I didn't mind, though, because - well - she was my grandma after all.



> Have you ever been curious about experimenting with the same sex (if you're straight) or the opposite sex (if you're gay)? IF you haven't what stopped you? If you have what compelled you to take the first step?


Some friends and I were having a girls' night out vodka party in my hostel room and we got a bit drunk and rowdy. One friend dared me and this other girl to make out. We said we'd make out only if they shut the lights. So the other girls switched off the lights and we made out (the place was lighted by their cellphones.) But then, the next day, we all had a terrible hangover and it took us all a while to remember what had happened. She and I have never brought up the subject again, and, in reality, I am not even sure if it was like a full make out or just a peck on the lips. 



> Do you have a particular talent that you could capitalize on but haven't? Are there factors keeping you from doing so?


I'm a good writer, but I haven't published. (I'm lazy)
I'm a good singer, but haven't sung in front of a large gathering since I was like 14. (I decided I have stage fright)
I think I would love to learn how to play the piano but I've not gone beyond Grade 1 because - well - I'm lazy.
I would be good with teaching. I am taking steps to secure that kind of career for myself.


----------



## WickerDeer

wiarumas said:


> In lieu of some other threads on the topic, what perfume do you wear? What perfume would you recommend to others (preferably a light, flowery one that is subtle, simple, and well received for valentines day haha?)
> 
> *I use essential oil combinations as perfume. I would recommend Ylang ylang for what you described or maybe some kind of Jasmine oil (real Jasmine is super expensive). Ylang Ylang is not really light but intoxicating, emotional, and flowery.
> *
> What cologne, if any, is your favorite on men?
> *
> IDK--but I like those stinky male deodorants that smell like shaving cream.*
> 
> If your SO was turning into a zombie, how long would you hesitate to kill them? (Ie, until they were fully turned, still human, never)
> *
> Until they were half-turned. Maybe sooner, depending on the SO.
> *
> Do you feel guilty, empathy, etc when killing insects?
> *
> I don't kill most insects or arachnids. I do kill fleas and mosquitos though and i think about it quite a lot which makes me think--guilty.* *I catch and release spiders and any other insect though.*
> 
> How large is your purse? Name some random crap you store in there that you probably take out.
> *
> Not really large. I store such random crap--makeup and random papers (like pay stubbs or bill statements) that I need or may need. I don't have anything really cool in my purse right now.* *I guess my favorite thing in there is a burts bees merlot colored chapstick. *
> 
> What do you sleep in? (Nude, underwear, fleece pajamas, flannel, lingerie, etc)
> *
> Usually I sleep in the minimal required for the situation.*
> 
> What is your alcoholic beverage of choice?
> *
> Probably white wine.* *I've experimented and tried different recipes--mulled wine is good. I like the description of Enfpleaseantly's mojitos which I've made (not her's but similar), but I would probably still go for the easy, sustainably grown, white wine.* * I do like experamenting though--I was on an eggnog kick for a few years, but not so much anymore.*
> 
> What do you typically order at a coffee shop?
> *
> Seasonal specials they have--like pumpkin flavored latte or something (the coffee shop and the bar are similar--I often ask the barrista what she likes and then I try it). I only go to coffee shops when someone gives me a gift certificate. Otherwise I make my coffee and if I want something extra I put a dash of almond extract, cinnamon, cocoa, or vanilla extract. (I've been known to add copious amounts of Ovaltine to coffee though). *
> 
> Are there any foods you refuse to eat?


No, not really. I dislike things that are heated in plastic.


----------



## WickerDeer

android654 said:


> How do you address your parents? By their first names? By parental titles?
> 
> *Mom and Dad.*
> 
> What would you do if tomorrow you were forced to start a completely new life, abandon the life and the people you have now and with a completely new identity? Where would you go? Who would you be? How would you live your life?
> 
> *I would be fine--in fact, sometimes I scare myself by feeling some desire for it. But no, I have a life I care for deeply. But I would go to another country.*
> 
> Do you follow a religion? If so, why?
> *
> I guess. I call myself a pagan. I decided upon it after reading Starhawk and deciding that I do like the idea of a God who i can identify with. I want to talk to a higher power, but they can't be judgmental and angry. And I love nature. It's more complicated then that, and would take too long to talk about.*
> 
> Have you ever been curious about experimenting with the same sex (if you're straight) or the opposite sex (if you're gay)? IF you haven't what stopped you? If you have what compelled you to take the first step?
> 
> *I've experimented because it just seemed right. And it was.*
> 
> Do you have a particular talent that you could capitalize on but haven't? Are there factors keeping you from doing so?


Oh--meh--horrible--I am a pretty talented artist. But I don't know why, I am just not interested. It's just too easy. I feel like I have to earn my talents and it always came so naturally. I also don't know "what's the point?" I am always trying to find a connection between art and my ideals--to save the world with art. To make all those cute little animals and the big old mossy trees' lives better with my art. Then there's the issue with how to produce art without contributing to the destruction of the forests or the planet in general. And then, who's going to buy it? Some rich person who won't learn anything from it anyway? I haven't quite figured it out. I am coming to a place in my life where I am accepting that I will never have these answers though, and that maybe I just need to do things anyway--because if I don't I may just die.


----------



## countrygirl90

@android654


> How do you address your parents? By their first names? By parental titles?


Maa or Mommy for my mother and paa for my father .



> What would you do if tomorrow you were forced to start a completely new life, abandon the life and the people you have now and with a completely new identity? Where would you go? Who would you be? How would you live your life?


I would feel sad and broken for a while but I would move on and make a new start with positive thought .I would go to some place which is tranquil and close to nature like countryside, hills or forest .I would own a plantation land or business related to agriculture .I would live a life where I get to understand myself and beauty of life more and more day by day ,where I feel that really my life is worth it to live for .



> Do you follow a religion? If so, why?


 I,m a Hindu and yes I follow my religion but I don,t follow superficial formalities or false facade related to my religion like going to temples ,keeping fast or wearing some locket around around my neck or arm .I feel religion as a part of my spirituality,I like reading religious books both of mine religion as well as others , I believe in power of Vedic mantras ,I meditate sometimes and listen to classical devotional songs .I follow my religion because it is part of my identity ,culture and traditions ,the wisdom and teachings of my religion has always inspired me to be a good human being and believe in the positiveness of universe .



> Have you ever been curious about experimenting with the same sex (if you're straight) or the opposite sex (if you're gay)? IF you haven't what stopped you? If you have what compelled you to take the first step?


 I would be honest here ,I felt infatuated to few females I met in my life ,but I never made a move of take initiative with them ,mostly because homosexuality is a taboo in our society and also the other person might not be interested in that kind of thing .I don,t know if I,m straight or Bi, and I haven,t experimented too much about my sexuality . I,m dominant in nature and sometimes when I meet a female whom I feel attracted not just physically but also on inner level I start having those kind of thoughts ,then I just chide myself for having such thoughts because they make feel guilty and a little pervert I guess .LOL.



> Do you have a particular talent that you could capitalize on but haven't? Are there factors keeping you from doing so?


I have three talents that I can capitalize on ,Cooking ,Singing and Being a beautician .The only factor keeping me from doing all this ,is that, My family don,t want to see their money, spent on my education to get wasted on such things ,because they believe that setting up a business or venture needs planning ,maturity and lots of money .I can,t take loan because I don,t want to spent my life repaying it .Though they have agreed that I can do all I want from my own hard earned money once I get employed to a good position and job .I think after I would retire from my job around 40 or 45 something I would open my own restaurant .I,m a part time beautician and I enjoy making people look beautiful .I,m also a dress maker, mostly I make traditional Indian dresses, frocks and garments for small children .


----------



## android654

countrygirl90 said:


> I would be honest here ,I felt infatuated to few females I met in my life ,but I never made a move of take initiative with them ,mostly because homosexuality is a taboo in our society and also the other person might not be interested in that kind of thing .I don,t know if I,m straight or Bi, and I haven,t experimented too much about my sexuality . I,m dominant in nature and sometimes when I meet a female whom I feel attracted not just physically but also on inner level I start having those kind of thoughts ,then I just chide myself for having such thoughts because they make feel guilty and a little pervert I guess .LOL.


It's a shame that we allow others or society as a whole to influence our actions in life.

A few more questions:

Are there components of your identity that you would consider to be stereotypically masculine?

Are there things you used to enjoy when you were younger that you are embarrassed of now?

Do you have habits that others find irritating or bothersome? Do they point it out to you? Have you addressed it in some way?

What's your opinion of people with a "victim complex?" Do you think that some people are justified in feeling persecuted? Do you think they are merely victims of their own inaction?

Have you experienced "crowded loneliness?" That would be where you feel isolated while still being in close proximity to a lot of people.

What are your opinions on someone who contemplates or commits suicide?

Cookies or Muffins? (Yes this one is just to brighten the mood of my questions.)


----------



## countrygirl90

@android654


> It's a shame that we allow others or society as a whole to influence our actions in life.


I think that you cannot have everything at once ,there is time and place for everything .We should take things forward step by step .I can take responsibility for my actions but I cannot force someone who is less confident to do something that she is not comfortable with .May be in coming years I would become more confident and sure, to handle things in a more perfect way and make my fantasy come true :wink: Also their are matter of priorities ,which we have to choose , set and work for ,we cannot distract ourselves with something that is less important right now ,I still have 50 to 60 years more to live and to do all those things that I dream about .


----------



## Enfpleasantly

android654 said:


> A few more questions:
> 
> Are there components of your identity that you would consider to be stereotypically masculine? *Yes. I guess my sexuality, my aggressiveness in certain situations, and some of my interests....I was in to watching rare Earth minerals stocks for a bit as one example. Although of course, what makes those stereotypically "masculine" anyway? *
> 
> Are there things you used to enjoy when you were younger that you are embarrassed of now? *Eh, not really...I liked New Kids On The Block as a kid; that's facepalm worthy.
> *
> Do you have habits that others find irritating or bothersome? Do they point it out to you? Have you addressed it in some way?* I interrupt people when I'm really excited; no one has ever come out and said it, but I feel it. I've improved greatly and I'm still working on it. I'm also terrible about answering texts and calls recently. I read a text when I'm busy then forget I didn't respond. I know it probably drives my TJ and FJ friends crazy. I never used to do that, I used to text right back every time, so it's just a weird habit I'm in right now. *
> 
> What's your opinion of people with a "victim complex?" Do you think that some people are justified in feeling persecuted? Do you think they are merely victims of their own inaction?* Little to no patience for them. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop blaming others and the world around you, and make changes if you aren't happy. Hold some accountability for your own life. *
> 
> Have you experienced "crowded loneliness?" That would be where you feel isolated while still being in close proximity to a lot of people. *Yes I have, but not often. *
> 
> What are your opinions on someone who contemplates or commits suicide? *I feel for them and want to help them. If they continue these thoughts without considering others, I can become a little angry. I understand these things aren't cut and dry, so my patience can be rekindled when I remember that. If a Parent commits suicide, I can't help but think of them as a selfish asshole...it's the ultimate abandonment of their children and it's absolutely disgusting IMO. If a person threatens suicide as a manipulation to control others, I have little to no patience for that and empathize with the people they hurt while doing this.
> 
> What I think people forget is, it's not just about loved ones missing the person who committed suicide that causes pain, it's that the person might be leaving those behind with major emotional damage, like guilt for their inability to recognize signs, or their inability to stop the person, or they might feel they weren't good enough, or didn't make the person happy enough, etc. etc. That's an awful wake to leave behind.
> *
> Cookies or Muffins? (Yes this one is just to brighten the mood of my questions.)


Both, but I like cookies better....especially soft cookies or cookies and milk. Yum.


----------



## Jennywocky

android654 said:


> How do you address your parents? By their first names? By parental titles?


Mom and Dad, always.



> What would you do if tomorrow you were forced to start a completely new life, abandon the life and the people you have now and with a completely new identity? Where would you go? Who would you be? How would you live your life?


Having done this (or close to it) once before, out of necessity, I have confidence I could do it again. I just don't know if I'd want to. There are people I do care about, who I don't want to lose. There are many things I'd like doing. I could go to space and explore the cosmos; I could live alone in Europe on a high mountaintop with valleys and fields; I could move to Alaska, to see the mountains; I could find someone and live a happy little content life, writing in coffee shops overseas; I could be a research scientist or psychologist.

*Do you follow a religion? If so, why?*

I was born and raised more traditional Christian, although I veered more into the mystical and thinking elements of the faith (stuff that appeals to my N and T sensibilities). I really wanted to "find God," and tried so hard to make it work, but I ended up becoming more agnostic. I'm someone who wants to believe and is always looking for deeper meaning, but so far I haven't seen a lot of evidence of any real "supernatural" influence.

I am thus open to religious people who lived good lives and treat others with respect, without judging them for not sharing their beliefs. And I am open to faith, if I find something that seems true to me.

*Have you ever been curious about experimenting with the same sex (if you're straight) or the opposite sex (if you're gay)? IF you haven't what stopped you? If you have what compelled you to take the first step?*

I have been involved with both genders at times in the past, but women just don't really work for me.

*Do you have a particular talent that you could capitalize on but haven't? Are there factors keeping you from doing so?*

I'm a decent writer, and I'm a very good musician, among other things. The problem is that mostly a practical one -- I can't easily find people to play with or help me do something with the music. For the writing, it's a matter of getting enough focus and discipline to beat out drafts and then of course there's the whole publishing thing -- I actually get depressed going to bookstores, because there is so much crap on the shelves. How do you get something to stand out in that environment? It's definitely the practical stuff that confuses and depresses me. I've also had experiences with agents and music/book publishing before, so it's not just unrealistic fear... it's knowing how the system does work, and it sucks.


----------



## Jennywocky

@android654:

*Are there components of your identity that you would consider to be stereotypically masculine?*

- "Thinker" sort, and I can detach in some ways very well (although some things, I can't detach from). I like the detachment of logic, philosophical thought, etc. I can definitely hold my own in a debate. (Not that women cannot, but many women seem to back down on the "philosophical style debates as a matter of politeness.) I will be polite, typically, but I will pick truth over just being nice.
- I like computer games of all sorts -- MMOs, adventure games, multiplayer shooter games, racing games -- and I can be competitive (but usually not "mean" competitive). Not that women don't do this too, but it's more rare... hence the "gamer girl" meme. I actually like all sorts of games, and I'm good at understanding and exploiting the rules and strategies. 
- I can fix things on my own and tend to be independent rather than "helpless" when something breaks. (Again, women don't need to be helpless, but there's a cliche of women needing men to fix things for them...)
- I am excellent at 3D spatial tasks (even by male standards) that most women don't seem as good at or care much for... I'm also a great navigator and typically can get to my destination without a map, just by keeping a sense in my head of what direction I am going!
- I like hard liquor and meat! .. not into beer though.

*Are there things you used to enjoy when you were younger that you are embarrassed of now?*
- Star Trek
- Having little toys all over my work cube. (I still have a few, just not so many.)

*Do you have habits that others find irritating or bothersome? Do they point it out to you? Have you addressed it in some way?*
I think a long time ago I used to cut people off in conversation sometimes, or didn't give them cues back so they knew I was listening, and I used to "twist conversations" around to talk about things only I wanted to talk about, but I don't really do that anymore. I also only get "argumentative" when I know the other person is open and it's an appropriate conversation to do that in.
　
I also could procrastinate and/or just not get things done on time (because I would just agree to a date to make the other person happy while not prioritizing it). At this point, I either say "no" or I negotiate a better date and stick with it.
　
When I play the piano by ear, I will "space out" -- if someone is standing nearby, I can be looking right at them but I'm really looking "through them" and not even seeing them because I'm lost in the music, but a few of them used to be freaked out by that.
　
I wouldn't return phone calls / get back to people / answer the phone. Nowadays, I try to respond within a reasonable time, at least, rather than just withdrawing if I don't know what to say. This would happen with chores/problems too; if I could not make a decision or wasn't sure of the answer, I just wouldn't respond. Nowadays I can make decisions even when the answer is not clear, even if I don't prefer it.

In general, I actually look for ways to improve my relationship with people and not do things that annoy them, if possible. I mean, I want the relationship to be "fair" to both of us. And I even think about these things on my own, without being told. I'm sensitive to others. (And normally if I piss them off and don't change the behavior on my own, then I have a reason I'm doing it.)
　
*What's your opinion of people with a "victim complex?" Do you think that some people are justified in feeling persecuted? Do you think they are merely victims of their own inaction?*
　
Well, there are all types of people. I think some people are victimized unfairly, other people make themselves into victims so that others will gratify them, and then there are people who are victimized but respond in a way that makes them more likely to be victimized more.
　
In the end, what I have learned in life is that if I do not fight for myself, no one is obligated to fight for me. (Some kind people might, but I cannot depend on it.) I have to take responsibility for my own safety and sanctity. Viewing oneself as a victim might make one "guiltless" but also renders one powerless.


*Have you experienced "crowded loneliness?" That would be where you feel isolated while still being in close proximity to a lot of people.*
　
God, yes. All the time. Not as bad nowadays, but typically the loneliness can be even worse than while just being "alone" physically. All those people around me, yet no real intimate connection. It's just rubbing salt in already open wounds.


*What are your opinions on someone who contemplates or commits suicide?*
　
It depends on the reasons. I think contemplating it from time to time is natural. And some people are in really bad situations, so they will contemplate it more often and might even seem to have better reasons than others. But it's much like the "victim" question above. There might be more and less legitimate reasons to consider self-termination, but in the end we have to do whatever we can to educate, empower, and care for ourselves... whatever that is. 


*Cookies or Muffins? (Yes this one is just to brighten the mood of my questions.) *
　
My rucksack is big enough for both. 
Just sayin'.


----------



## carlaviii

android654 said:


> Are there components of your identity that you would consider to be stereotypically masculine?
> Are there things you used to enjoy when you were younger that you are embarrassed of now?
> Do you have habits that others find irritating or bothersome? Do they point it out to you? Have you addressed it in some way?
> What's your opinion of people with a "victim complex?" Do you think that some people are justified in feeling persecuted? Do you think they are merely victims of their own inaction?
> Have you experienced "crowded loneliness?" That would be where you feel isolated while still being in close proximity to a lot of people.
> What are your opinions on someone who contemplates or commits suicide?
> Cookies or Muffins? (Yes this one is just to brighten the mood of my questions.)


1. I'm an NT, so I do stoic pretty well. I'd rather talk about thoughts than feelings, and about how we're going to fix something rather than who we're going to blame for it. 
2. (shrugs) Not really. I suppose I'd be embarrassed if someone dug out my old Duran Duran fedora. I was a teen in the 80s, what do you want. 
3. I'm sure I do. I know I have a problem with being mumbly, but I don't get called out on it. 
4. These people are annoying. Yes, some people genuinely are persecuted. The ones who complain the loudest generally aren't, though. 
5. I always feel isolated in a crowd. It doesn't necessarily register as loneliness, for me. 
6. Mixed. That tends to put me in "how do we fix this" mode, but I know that often isn't what suicidal people want to talk about. I try to take a more "you're not alone" approach. 
7. Sure! I have good recipes for both. And pie.


----------



## WickerDeer

android654 said:


> It's a shame that we allow others or society as a whole to influence our actions in life.
> 
> A few more questions:
> 
> Are there components of your identity that you would consider to be stereotypically masculine?
> *
> I think there are but it's hard to put a finger on them. IDK--I've always had fun dabbling in that gender whether it's putting a large rock in the front of my pants and pretending to stroke an erection while gawking at a female friend (freaking her out but making her laugh) or wearing man deodorant because I like the smell (which I don't do anymore).*
> 
> Are there things you used to enjoy when you were younger that you are embarrassed of now?
> *
> Yeah. Like imagining animals singing and dancing to music. * *Dressing up my cat and taking pictures of her.*
> 
> Do you have habits that others find irritating or bothersome? Do they point it out to you? Have you addressed it in some way?
> 
> *I often try to pry criticism out of people, but ultimately the only person who knows how I should be is me. I should be the authority on what is annoying or not (after all, I have to live with myself more than anyone).* *It takes a lot of effort to change, and it's even harder to do it for someone else.* *Plus, sometimes it's best to ignore those who get irritated by things that aren't directly effecting them.*
> 
> What's your opinion of people with a "victim complex?" Do you think that some people are justified in feeling persecuted? Do you think they are merely victims of their own inaction?
> 
> *I don't know what a victim complex is. But it sounds like something that is harmful and so my opinion is that I hope people with it can work through it for their own benefit.  I have heard of learned helplessness and I think it's a very unfortunate condition. I think that you have to walk a fine line between taking personal responsibility for everything in your life--and also being receptive to the effects that externals have on you. If someone is using victim-hood as an excuse not to do something good for themselves then I think that's sad because they are robbing themselves of the ability to solve their problem. But I am usually against simplifying societal problems by calling on individual responsibility--however I believe that individuals benefit from a sense of individual responsibility and agency.*
> 
> Have you experienced "crowded loneliness?" That would be where you feel isolated while still being in close proximity to a lot of people.
> *
> Yeah. *
> What are your opinions on someone who contemplates or commits suicide?*
> 
> My opinion is that it's sad. I think that shame is a big reason why people do this. It bothers me that some people who hurt others the most will not consider suicide, while others who are generally nice and intelligent will. Not saying it's a rule--but it happens. Ultimately, suicide is an option people consider when they do not know how to cope with the pain they are in. It makes sense, but there are other options that can not always be seen when one is suicidal. *
> 
> Cookies or Muffins? (Yes this one is just to brighten the mood of my questions.)


Cookies.


----------



## milti

android654 said:


> A few more questions:
> 
> Are there components of your identity that you would consider to be stereotypically masculine?


I'm not too sure. I have a loud voice. I have a very direct, blunt way of saying stuff. And I like getting dirty :shocked: I mean like with gardening, lol. Also, I think I can be quite 'rowdy' and noisy. I make all sorts of faces and stupid 10-year-old boy jokes. :tongue:
Yeah... I'm not always dainty. 



> Are there things you used to enjoy when you were younger that you are embarrassed of now?


Hah, I used to have this big Backstreet Boys poster up in my bedroom. I really REALLY wish my mum would take it down (it's used as a guest room now) but she won't, and whenever I spot it, I cringe a bit, lol.
I still fit into certain tshirts and tops I wore at 16 but I really hate some of them now. I wear them around the house because they do fit and my mum doesn't want to hear about giving them away.



> Do you have habits that others find irritating or bothersome? Do they point it out to you? Have you addressed it in some way?


The one thing other people HATE about me is my picky eating behaviour. Not only am I super choosy, I literally pick at my food and I never finish in time with everyone else. It gets my friends so aggravated; they have to sit watching me choke down my food for ages. Sometimes they get frustrated and leave, lol.

Another thing some of my friends complain about is my hair. It's always in a mess. The words "don't you have a hair brush?" are always being used on me. 

I cry at the drop of a hat. If I take offence to something or am upset for some reason, tears will fill my eyes and I'll have tears hanging off my eyelashes. Yeah, it seems to annoy people. Lol. 



> What's your opinion of people with a "victim complex?" Do you think that some people are justified in feeling persecuted? Do you think they are merely victims of their own inaction?


Oh my GOD, I know a couple of people like that. I just feel that most of the time they have nothing to complain about. 
I just hate whiny, hypochondriac people, and people who "hate life" just because they feel things haven't gone their way or they're not getting the recognition they deserve. But I do get into my self-pitying mode sometimes too, and then I guess I can be a pain.



> Have you experienced "crowded loneliness?" That would be where you feel isolated while still being in close proximity to a lot of people.


Yes, but I don't actually see it as loneliness. I love crowds, I like just being a follower. I like knowing I'm one among a sea of people.



> What are your opinions on someone who contemplates or commits suicide?


I've felt that way before and it's not healthy. They should stop kidding themselves and seek help, go on medication.
Also, if it's a matter of emotional blackmail, then I don't think anyone should take it seriously. 



> Cookies or Muffins? (Yes this one is just to brighten the mood of my questions.)


Neither. A slice of blueberry cheesecake any day! :kitteh: Or a chocobar (a popsicle with vanilla and chocolate) :shocked:


----------



## Infermiera

HonestAndTrue said:


> Spontaneity or stability?
> 
> What is your favorite color? Explain why.
> 
> Why is lingerie so popular if love is blind?
> 
> Where's Waldo?
> 
> What was the last book you read?
> 
> What was the last movie you watched?


1. More stable than spontaneous.
2. I like earth tone colors like brown, tan, warm gray,green, white, reds etc. I can't pick a specific color among what I've mentioned because they all look good together blended in nature. 
3. Because desire has a 20/20 vision :tongue:
4. In the cupboard under the stairs disguised as Harry James Potter
5. Wound care by Lippincott
6. Argo. It was really enjoyable. I was riveted up until the end. I even sat through after the last scene when they showed pictures and footage of the real event with some scenes in the movie alongside them.


----------



## Codger

Snakecharmer said:


> We need this, right?
> 
> 
> :laughing:
> 
> I'll put myself out there and say that not only am I a woman, but an "older" one...not sure about _wiser_, but experienced, sure.
> 
> Ask away!


... what's your phone number?


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Codger said:


> ... what's your phone number?


867-5309

Oops, wrong thread >.> <.<

*whispers* Call me :wink:


----------



## Codger

Mr. Meepers said:


> 867-5309
> 
> Oops, wrong thread >.> <.<
> 
> *whispers* Call me :wink:


One is intrigued enough to consider firing up skype.


----------



## Codger

Mr. Meepers said:


> 867-5309
> 
> Oops, wrong thread >.> <.<
> 
> *whispers* Call me :wink:


One is intrigued enough to consider firing up skype, but do I have to call you Jenny?


----------



## Jennywocky

Mr. Meepers said:


> 867-5309
> 
> Oops, wrong thread >.> <.<
> 
> *whispers* Call me :wink:


Hey, you bums! That's MY number!!!! --jenny


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Codger said:


> One is intrigued enough to consider firing up skype, but do I have to call you Jenny?


Depends on what I'm wearing :wink:

But I'm always wearing the same type of outfit

* *

















So Yes!!!!



Jennywocky said:


> Hey, you bums! That's MY number!!!! --jenny












Creepy responses go in spoilers 

* *





Oh ... um, I never broke into your house when you were not home so I could listen in on all your calls did not have to pay the telephone company ... I'll, um, give him my "real" number in a private message


----------



## Codger

Mr. Meepers said:


> Depends on what I'm wearing :wink:
> 
> But I'm always wearing the same type of outfit
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ]


Take me, big boy.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

Mr. Meepers said:


> 867-5309
> 
> Oops, wrong thread >.> <.<
> 
> *whispers* Call me :wink:





Jennywocky said:


> Hey, you bums! That's MY number!!!! --jenny


I just called it. No answering machine. No voice mail. It just rings and rings. I think you're all a bunch of liars.


* *






I can just put this song on repeat.










* *




Guess I better set an example of how to be honest and true.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

HonestAndTrue said:


> I just called it. No answering machine. No voice mail. It just rings and rings. I think you're all a bunch of liars.
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I can just put this song on repeat.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Guess I better set an example of how to be honest and true.



You got ringing right? And not a "this phone number is no longer in service" or something like that message? ... It just means we have not hooked up our answering machine yet


----------



## android654

If you could commit any crime, with the knowledge that there would be no legal repercussions, what crime would you commit? Why?

Is there any woman (if you're straight) or man (if you're gay) that you would have sex with even though it does not line up with your orientation? Why?

If you were chosen by god(s) to decide how humanity must come to an end, which method of destruction would you use? Why this particular method of destruction?

In the event that your country is enveloped in another world war and you're given the option to be drafted or to seek refuge in another country which would you opt for? If you chose to fight, why? If you chose to run, why?

Do you or have you ever thought of owning a gun for your own protection? Was there a particular event that made you consider it as necessary?

What are three novels you would recommend a person to read if they wanted to get an in depth picture of who you are?

If you could become any mythical creature (vampire, siren, ghost, minotaur, etc.) which would you pick and why?


----------



## Enfpleasantly

android654 said:


> If you could commit any crime, with the knowledge that there would be no legal repercussions, what crime would you commit? Why? *Um, maybe I would count cards at a casino and win a ton of money...probably because I see casinos as a total rip off and a waste, so it wouldn't hurt them any for someone to take advantage of them the way they do to people every day. *
> 
> Is there any woman (if you're straight) or man (if you're gay) that you would have sex with even though it does not line up with your orientation? Why?* I honestly can't really think of anyone. Maybe Mila Kunis?
> *
> If you were chosen by god(s) to decide how humanity must come to an end, which method of destruction would you use? Why this particular method of destruction?* The Earth would instantly explode into dust...none of us would know what hit us and no suffering would occur. *
> 
> In the event that your country is enveloped in another world war and you're given the option to be drafted or to seek refuge in another country which would you opt for? If you chose to fight, why? If you chose to run, why? *Seek refuge, because I'm a Mother and my life is important for my children.
> *
> Do you or have you ever thought of owning a gun for your own protection? Was there a particular event that made you consider it as necessary? *I own guns and grew up around guns, I have no issues with them when competent people are in possession of them and respect their power. *
> 
> What are three novels you would recommend a person to read if they wanted to get an in depth picture of who you are? *It might sound weird, but Old Man and The Sea for some reason, Eat Pray Love as cheesy as it sounds because of the growth, and probably The Vow...as another cheesy one. The Vow not because of the love story, but how the girl changes before her accident. She becomes her true self instead of who her Parents wanted her to be...I relate to that very much, and even in the ways she specifically changed.
> *
> If you could become any mythical creature (vampire, siren, ghost, minotaur, etc.) which would you pick and why?


Mermaid, but not a siren...I wouldn't want to hurt anyone. Maybe I would lure them in to do good by them, but not to hurt them.


----------



## Jennywocky

@_android654_
*If you could commit any crime, with the knowledge that there would be no legal repercussions, what crime would you commit? Why?
*
From a practical standpoint, I'd probably embezzle millions of dollars from rich corporations. Then I'd give some of the money to charity / enterprises I believed in and use the rest as I saw fit. 

But for kicks, I'd try to figure out a complicated crime (kind of like Ocean 11), then find a way to try to accomplish it without being caught. If I failed, it wouldn't matter; but it would be fun to just apply my brain in a way to see if it could be done. That would be the funnest part of being a criminal, honestly; trying to figure out whether you could actually do something / coming up with the strategy. It's disappointing nowadays that many crimes are just solved by forensics, by stuff that is difficult to dodge (DNA evidence, fibers, whatever else). Even robbing banks is not nearly as much fun as it used to be.


*Is there any woman (if you're straight) or man (if you're gay) that you would have sex with even though it does not line up with your orientation? Why?
*
I honestly don't know. I mean, I know long-term I'm not happy with being with another woman, but for a one-night fling? Anything is possible, I suppose. It would have to be someone I found attractive and engaging, however, on a personal level. It was funny watching Beyonce doing her halftime show last night. There were a number of men in the room, and I'm sure based on their responses you could have turned off the sound and they'd still be going nuts over her; I enjoyed the half-time show, but when I looked at Beyonce, all I could think was, "I wish I looked more like that." Lol. She definitely looked great, and was really good at what she was doing, in a way I could never be. 


*If you were chosen by god(s) to decide how humanity must come to an end, which method of destruction would you use? Why this particular method of destruction?*
　
I would probably make human beings be born and live in a world where they grew up and needed each other to survive but would have to negotiate some way to interacting without destroying themselves and each other in the process -- where there is some hope that perhaps they might avoid their fate if merely they could rise above their animal natures....
　
.... hey... wait a moment....!
　
Barring that, I guess having the planet earth crushed to pieces between three elephants at the height of the planet's orgasm would probably do.


*In the event that your country is enveloped in another world war and you're given the option to be drafted or to seek refuge in another country which would you opt for? If you chose to fight, why? If you chose to run, why?*
　
I would do what I felt was best for my kids. If there was another safe country out there that I didn't think would be in dangerous and that was something we could adjust to, and I didn't feel that we would win the war, I'd probably just go there with them.
　
If I didn't have my kids to worry about, I'd probably fight if I believed in my country and considered it worth dying for. I'm more liable to fight if I don't have other people to take care of. As soon as I have people who are depending on me for their survival (and survival is more likely through another choice besides fighting), I would stop risking my life unnecessarily.


*Do you or have you ever thought of owning a gun for your own protection? Was there a particular event that made you consider it as necessary?*

I've thought about it, but don't really have the time to invest learning how to use it or the money in buying it, and I've never really needed it since I'm a risk manager and don't typically go places I consider dangerous.


*What are three novels you would recommend a person to read if they wanted to get an in depth picture of who you are?*
- A Wind in the Door by Madeleine L'Engle
- The Second Chronicles of Thomas Covenant by Stephen R. Donaldson
- The Tombs of Atuan by Ursula LeGuin

The first describes how I tend to frame the world, in terms of learning and teaching and looking under the surface. The second tends to very well describe my personal views about the nature of the world, of good and bad / health vs unhealth, realism vs idealism, the tangible world vs the spiritual world. The third describes how I've felt on my own journey from darkness to life and reclaiming myself as a person.


*If you could become any mythical creature (vampire, siren, ghost, minotaur, etc.) which would you pick and why?*

I identify strongly with the "popular" notion of vampire in terms of a dramatic character, but they're truly the damned, and they also cannot survive without living off other people -- which is something antithetical to me. I don't want to live at the expense of others. You lose your humanity after awhile.
　
I might update this answer later once I have more time to consider my options. In general, I appreciate unicorns because they're beautiful and fast, and they can be a healer and source of light, but are also deadly when they need to be. Their horn is a two-edged sword that way.
　
If I was more human-centric, you can just look at my avatar -- Death. Not to take life from others, but to connect with them and lead them forward to a new strange land that they need to confront, as part of the human condition. I don't mind (and even like) entering that space with them and figuring out how to frame things in a way that will empower and encourage them to embrace what has happened. And it's a reason to meet and know a huge variety of people (well, ALL of them!) on a very personal and intimate level, not just a social one (which I don't really enjoy as much).

...You ask the best questions, btw.


----------



## android654

Jennywocky said:


> If I was more human-centric, you can just look at my avatar -- Death. Not to take life from others, but to connect with them and lead them forward to a new strange land that they need to confront, as part of the human condition. I don't mind (and even like) entering that space with them and figuring out how to frame things in a way that will empower and encourage them to embrace what has happened. And it's a reason to meet and know a huge variety of people (well, ALL of them!) on a very personal and intimate level, not just a social one (which I don't really enjoy as much).


That sound's like Neil Gaiman's _The Sandman_. It's interesting to see how a person would react while being ushered to through their dreams and gain glimpses of the person they truly are.



> ...You ask the best questions, btw.


You just love to flatter me, don't you? Not that I'm complaining, I'm pretty sure I could live with more compliments.


----------



## wiarumas

Jennywocky said:


> Even robbing banks is not nearly as much fun as it used to be.


Just wanted to jump in and say that bank robbery makes no sense to me. Unless they do some sort of sophisticated oceans eleven type deal with the vault, they typically only grab only about several hundred to several thousand or so from the tellers. Rarely anything over $20k. Talk about poor risk vs reward. You would need to rob hundreds of banks for it to yield anything substantial.

Then again I'm also not addicted to drugs, so that might have something to do with it.


----------



## android654

wiarumas said:


> Just wanted to jump in and say that bank robbery makes no sense to me. Unless they do some sort of sophisticated oceans eleven type deal with the vault, they typically only grab only about several hundred to several thousand or so from the tellers. Rarely anything over $20k. Talk about poor risk vs reward. You would need to rob hundreds of banks for it to yield anything substantial.
> 
> Then again I'm also not addicted to drugs, so that might have something to do with it.


The vast majority of crimes are committed out of desparation. 20K might not be worth it to someone who's well adjusted in a comfortable life, but to someone with nothing to lose, 20k could solve a lot of problems.


----------



## wiarumas

android654 said:


> The vast majority of crimes are committed out of desparation. 20K might not be worth it to someone who's well adjusted in a comfortable life, but to someone with nothing to lose, 20k could solve a lot of problems.


My point is that 20k only offers a temporary fix. There is an underlying root cause to their desperation and that would remain unfixed. 20k won't last long. Then what? Another bank? To what end? It's not sustainable. You would have to rob hundreds of banks over the course of your life. Each with compounding risk.


----------



## Jennywocky

wiarumas said:


> Just wanted to jump in and say that bank robbery makes no sense to me. Unless they do some sort of sophisticated oceans eleven type deal with the vault, they typically only grab only about several hundred to several thousand or so from the tellers. Rarely anything over $20k. Talk about poor risk vs reward. You would need to rob hundreds of banks for it to yield anything substantial.
> 
> Then again I'm also not addicted to drugs, so that might have something to do with it.


 totally agree. Too much risk, not enuf payoff. Makes no sense to me anymore either. But people still do it...and have occassionally gotten away with it multiple times before being caught.
Go figure.


----------



## android654

wiarumas said:


> My point is that 20k only offers a temporary fix. There is an underlying root cause to their desperation and that would remain unfixed. 20k won't last long. Then what? Another bank? To what end? It's not sustainable. You would have to rob hundreds of banks over the course of your life. Each with compounding risk.


No argument here, but when you think there's no remedy to your problems planning a month in advance feels like a lifetime. So most people in that situation will settle for planning to next week.


----------



## .17485

Are men from mars and women from venus?


----------



## Jennywocky

Tega1 said:


> Are men from mars and women from venus?


Oh.....
Consider yourself banned from this thread for life, under threat of painful execution...!!!


----------



## .17485

Lool I was just kidding. I'll think of another thing to say.


----------



## .17485

When u like a guy are u interested in looks, personality or if you have similar interests like computer games, anime, films, religion


----------



## sleepyhead

Tega1 said:


> When u like a guy are u interested in looks, personality or if you have similar interests like computer games, anime, films, religion


Looks first, as that's the first thing I see, then personality - if it doesn't match the looks then there's no attraction.

Similar interests are important to a point, but they certainly don't need to be identical.

I'm attracted to people who visibly have self-awareness. It's fairly easy for me to spot self-aware vs. non-self-aware folks.


----------



## .17485

sleepyhead said:


> Looks first, as that's the first thing I see, then personality - if it doesn't match the looks then there's no attraction.
> 
> Similar interests are important to a point, but they certainly don't need to be identical.
> 
> I'm attracted to people who visibly have *self-awareness*. It's fairly easy for me to spot *self-aware vs. non-self-aware folks*.


How can you spot a person who is self-aware vs non-aware? Is it their Individualist and not worry what people think of them if their views are difference? A guy who is true to themselves


----------



## sleepyhead

Tega1 said:


> How can you spot a person who is self-aware vs non-aware? Is it their Individualist and not worry what people think of them if their views are difference? A guy who is true to themselves


I don't exactly know what it is that makes it obvious to me...it's a sort of instinctual thing, and I can admit that sometimes I get it wrong. 

I dislike when guys are overly confident or cocky. Confidence is nice, that's for sure, but it can very easily cross the line into being self-absorbed but also being able to see they don't know that's the image they give off. My body language can very clearly be saying, "You are bothering me and I'm not into you" but it's like they have no radar for that and continue to only notice how I'm making them react, rather than how they might be coming off to me.

I think people who are more self aware, you tend to be able to notice them assessing the situation more, tell that they're reflecting on how they're coming off, or are quicker to notice if they cross a line or can see they've made you uneasy or uncomfortable. 

It just feels more genuine.

Sorry I can't give you a more detailed answer.


----------



## Jennywocky

Tega1 said:


> When u like a guy are u interested in looks, personality or if you have similar interests like computer games, anime, films, religion


Usually "looks" is the last thing I am aware of, unless someone is very handsome or very ugly. (Money isn't high up on the list either, although I appreciate an average level of income.) Typically other things catch my attention far more.

Personality is a big deal -- open, self-aware, intelligent, funny, connects well. But yes, I'm also into "hobby" stuff. I would be disappointed if I enjoyed who a guy was but we would have little/nothing in common. I like a guy who I share a few interests with, at least; we don't have to share all interests, which gives us new things we can 'bring back' to our relationship, but there should be a few strong shared interests + appealing personality.

I was married to someone who was very religious for a long time. I don't think I can date/marry someone who is fervently and conservatively religious. I like someone who can embrace mystery and be open about things, but more "median" in terms of view. (I happen to be more agnostic/absurdist with interest in spirituality.)



Tega1 said:


> How can you spot a person who is self-aware vs non-aware? Is it their Individualist and not worry what people think of them if their views are difference? A guy who is true to themselves


Non-self-aware guys tend to just respond to events and do things without really considering how those things impact others or what the likely results will be. They seem to have no real ability to step outside themselves and look at who they are and see themselves as other are seeing them and understand how they are coming across.

Self-aware guys have themselves in better perspective. THey are more balanced, can tailor their behavior to accommodate others, are aware of other's probable feelings, can make room for opposing ideas, are aware of their own mistakes, etc.

I agree with Sleepyhead, it's more a "vibe" thing. I can just tell when I meet someone what type of angle they have on themselves.


----------



## .17485

Jennywocky said:


> Usually "looks" is the last thing I am aware of, unless someone is very handsome or very ugly. (Money isn't high up on the list either, although I appreciate an average level of income.) Typically other things catch my attention far more.
> 
> Personality is a big deal -- open, self-aware, intelligent, funny, connects well. But yes, I'm also into "hobby" stuff. *I would be disappointed if I enjoyed who a guy was but we would have little/nothing in common.* I like a guy who I share a few interests with, at least; we don't have to share all interests, which gives us new things we can 'bring back' to our relationship, but there should be a few strong shared interests + appealing personality.
> 
> I was married to someone who was very religious for a long time. I don't think I can date/marry someone who is fervently and *conservatively religious*. I like someone who can embrace mystery and be open about things, but more "median" in terms of view. (I happen to be more agnostic/absurdist with interest in spirituality.)
> 
> 
> 
> Non-self-aware guys tend to just respond to events and do things without really considering how those things impact others or what the likely results will be. They seem to have no real ability to step outside themselves and look at who they are and see themselves as other are seeing them and understand how they are coming across.
> 
> Self-aware guys have themselves in better perspective. THey are more balanced, can tailor their behavior to accommodate others, are aware of other's probable feelings, can make room for opposing ideas, are aware of their own mistakes, etc.
> 
> I agree with Sleepyhead, it's more a "vibe" thing. I can just tell when I meet someone what type of angle they have on themselves.


I didn't understand the part I put in bold. 'I would be disappointed if I enjoyed who a guy was but we would have little/nothing in common'. How was it like dating someone who is conservatively religious? Is like various things you can or can't do in relation to the bible? Like a set of rules. I know some rules about drinking alcohol or going to parties only doing christian related things.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

What topics do you think you have a good amount of knowledge in? Do people you know seek you out for guidance in that particular area? 

What are you passionate about? Aka what makes you light up?

What is your favorite part/s about yourself?

Do you practice any alternative methods to remedy certain ailments? If so, what? 

If you're a Mother, what do you think are your strengths in parenting? Weaknesses?


----------



## Jennywocky

Tega1 said:


> I didn't understand the part I put in bold. 'I would be disappointed if I enjoyed who a guy was but we would have little/nothing in common'. How was it like dating someone who is conservatively religious? Is like various things you can or can't do in relation to the bible? Like a set of rules. I know some rules about drinking alcohol or going to parties only doing christian related things.


We were actually married twenty years and are almost divorced now. What is funny is that while dating, we didn't really have issues with any of that. But things just got more stringent later, especially after we separated -- at that point, we stopped influencing each other's direction, so I got even less religious and my ex got moreso.
　
I guess some people have those stringest external rules (don't do this, don't do that). It's more the principles that impacted our relationship, especially during the separation and with kids being raised. For example, one of my sons got dragged to a 'religious conference' about teenage sexuality, which is the last place he wanted to go with a parent. *doh* He's also a pretty level-headed kid and not the sort to get into that kind of trouble anyway, but he still had to go. Lots of stuff the kids didn't need or like, but they still got stuck doing it anyway. 
　
I think the most notable thing is where money gets spent and what is prioritized. Neither of us have money to spend at the moment, but my ex still managed to dump $5000 into tithing last year alone. (Personally I don't care, except for the fact that the kids could have used that money for things they needed.) Also, it influenced my ex to send one of our children to christian boarding school, in a timeframe where I had a LOT of pressure put on me to agree by family, the old church, and my ex, and I didn't get to properly vet the place... and then I found out my ex had lied about the cost, which was far more money than either of us could afford... but "God would provide." Well, God didn't provide, and the court said we each had to pay half, and I've on the verge of bankruptcy because of that... and my ex wouldn't relent and pull her out. I no longer trust my ex because of that experience. 

Sorry to drag up "personal stuff" but that's an example of what happens when one person is religious and the other is not -- they disagree on the basic foundation of their decision-making. In this case, I feel my ex was extremely irreponsible financially (which impacts not just me but all of our kids), using God as an excuse, and it will impact the future of our other children, who needed that money to attend college. But when someone believes God wants them to do something, there is no way anything can be discussed. 

i don't want to deal with that again. I'll date someone I view as reasonable and balanced, sure, but not someone who is virtually unapproachable because of their faith.

But looking back, we didn't have a lot in common anyway, in terms of interests. We just both have very different ways of looking at the world, and it impacts the things we like, how we vote, what we want to support, how we raise kids, etc.


----------



## carlaviii

*What topics do you think you have a good amount of knowledge in? 
*
urf. Well, Photoshop. Graphic design/desktop publishing/prepress and such. I like to think I know a thing or two about writing, but that's in the eye of the beholder. 

*Do people you know seek you out for guidance in that particular area? *

:laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing: ... no. Well, my writing friends do keep asking me to crit their stuff, so I must be giving them something useful.

*What are you passionate about? Aka what makes you light up?*

Writing. That's about all that's left. 

*What is your favorite part/s about yourself?*

I'm'a gonna skip this one, on account of being really Fi right now.

*Do you practice any alternative methods to remedy certain ailments? If so, what? *

If it could be proven that the yoga was helping maintain my eerily regular menstrual cycles, I'd say that. I was completely and totally unpredictable for years and years. But I'm not about to stop the yoga to see if it would all go haywire again.


----------



## mirrorghost

*What topics do you think you have a good amount of knowledge in? Do people you know seek you out for guidance in that particular area? *

i dunno, i think i have moderate knowledge in a lot of areas. people usually come to me for advice and to tell their feelings, actually. (typical INFP, or?)

*What are you passionate about? Aka what makes you light up?*
love, amazing art, music, literature & films. the esoteric and elusive.

*What is your favorite part/s about yourself?*
physically, my lips and the color of my eyes. non physical- my dreaminess and my kookiness in regards to my way of showing affection to significant others, friends and animals.
*Do you practice any alternative methods to remedy certain ailments? If so, what? *
not sure what is explicitly meant by this, but i have had an interest in alternative medicine and am trying to learn more about it. i want to learn about natural methods for helping underactive thyroid, for one thing. i also recently bought a book on ayurveda in order to learn more about it.

*If you're a Mother, what do you think are your strengths in parenting? Weaknesses?*
i am not a mother and do not want to be, but i think i'd be too moody and too accepting (if that's possible.) but who knows, motherhood might've changed me


----------



## Death Persuades

How much effort are you willing to put into a relationship with a man who occasionally becomes stubborn and overly sensitive to pretty much everything, but he also puts in as much effort as is possible to him at any give time?

Would you be freaked out or something similar if one day your partner asks you to tuck him in bed, and read him a bedtime story?

Would you allow your partner to drink your breast milk, from your breasts?

Do you like eggs?


(I ask because I am/have/want/like these things, but have never really asked about it... and now I wanna know different opinions  )


----------



## carlaviii

josue0098 said:


> How much effort are you willing to put into a relationship with a man who occasionally becomes stubborn and overly sensitive to pretty much everything, but he also puts in as much effort as is possible to him at any give time?
> Would you be freaked out or something similar if one day your partner asks you to tuck him in bed, and read him a bedtime story?
> Would you allow your partner to drink your breast milk, from your breasts?
> Do you like eggs?


1. I spent way too many years putting up with something like that -- except that he was _always_ overly sensitive and didn't put out much effort on his part. So I'm short on patience right now. Though if he had a history of being there for me... well, tough to say for certain how I'd react.
2. If he was miserably sick, I'd be willing to do something like that. Otherwise, it would be a strange request.
3. Sure. I would want a taste, too.
4. Yes.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

josue0098 said:


> How much effort are you willing to put into a relationship with a man who occasionally becomes stubborn and overly sensitive to pretty much everything, but he also puts in as much effort as is possible to him at any give time?
> 
> *I can handle any of those things as long as he realized he was that way and worked to improve it...and improvement came. Effort is important, but results are key. I have a lot of patience for self aware people. *
> 
> Would you be freaked out or something similar if one day your partner asks you to tuck him in bed, and read him a bedtime story?
> *
> I would laugh because I would think he was joking. If he was serious, I would wonder if he was wanting to do it to be silly and fun, or if he had some fetish for being a child and I'm like...his Mommy. I would be a little weirded out by the latter. *
> 
> Would you allow your partner to drink your breast milk, from your breasts?*
> 
> Again, if it was to act like a baby and I Mommy, then no, but if we were in the middle of getting it on and he did it, I wouldn't think anything of it...as long as it was just like a quick thing. Full on latch and guzzle would weird me out a little. *
> 
> Do you like eggs?
> *
> Yes, but I get grossed out when I think about what they are. I eat organic, free range eggs *
> 
> 
> (I ask because I am/have/want/like these things, but have never really asked about it... and now I wanna know different opinions  )


In quote.


----------



## wiarumas

@josue0098 you got some heavy Freudian stuff going on. I'm almost tempted to ask you about your relationship with your mother.


----------



## Death Persuades

Enfpleasantly said:


> In quote.


Lol i don't have that fetish. Its just something i would enjoy. and as for the milk... Im just curious.


wiarumas said:


> @josue0098 you got some heavy Freudian stuff going on. I'm almost tempted to ask you about your relationship with your mother.


why do you think so? i don't know mine... o_o


----------



## wiarumas

josue0098 said:


> Lol i don't have that fetish. Its just something i would enjoy. and as for the milk... Im just curious.
> 
> 
> why do you think so? i don't know mine... o_o


Two of your questions suggested you wanted a girl to act the role of your mom - tucking into bed, a very intimate mother/son moment, and then followed up with a breast feeding question. I'm not here to judge you, I just found it curious. People's questions sometimes have motives that suggest things. Maybe not literally, but it seems that had some sort of unspoken thing concerning a mother/son dynamic.


----------



## Death Persuades

wiarumas said:


> Two of your questions suggested you wanted a girl to act the role of your mom - tucking into bed, a very intimate mother/son moment, and then followed up with a breast feeding question. I'm not here to judge you, I just found it curious. People's questions sometimes have motives that suggest things. Maybe not literally, but it seems that had some sort of unspoken thing concerning a mother/son dynamic.


 i ways just thought i was odd... they just seem like nice things.


----------



## android654

Some questions:

What are your opinions of taciturn men? Or women if you're gay or bi. How do you, or would you, react to being in a relationship with a person who's reserved and keeps much of themselves to their self?

If you were forced to move out of your home and into a different city or town, where would you go? 

You've been poisoned by an exotic toxin, doctors are operating on you and inform you that your eyesight, ability to speak and hear are all in jeopardy and they can only save two. At the end of the operation you'll either be blind, deaf or mute and each condition so severe that no prosthetic could aide them. Which disability would you choose to live with?

Someone breaks into your home and massacres everyone inside but leaves you alive. You know the person who did it and the police are taking their time as they meticulously investigate the home invasion. What do you do?

You discover your estranged father was secretly the head of an organized crime family. After his death the family names you his successor. How do you react to the news?



wiarumas said:


> @_josue0098_ you got some heavy Freudian stuff going on. I'm almost tempted to ask you about your relationship with your mother.












Couldn't help myself.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

@josue0098, Maybe because you don't know your Mom, you have maternal needs that were not met? I don't think you're odd. Sending you hugs.


----------



## Jennywocky

@_josue0098_

*How much effort are you willing to put into a relationship with a man who occasionally becomes stubborn and overly sensitive to pretty much everything, but he also puts in as much effort as is possible to him at any give time?*

I'm forgiving and understand my partner is human, and so I'm always willing to work with a partner who perceives there is a problem and is working to better himself. At the same time, the phrase "puts in as much effort as is possible to him at any given time" is rather vague; in the end, there's also a minimum bar that has to be crossed. For example, if my boyfriend is beating me or my husband cheating on me, I'm going to call things off regardless of "how much effort" he is putting (or not putting) into things. Even for something more mundane (like constant depression/avoidance), it could severely weaken and kill the relationship.

Just because someone is doing his best (for him) doesn't mean it is still acceptable for the relationship to work.

*Would you be freaked out or something similar if one day your partner asks you to tuck him in bed, and read him a bedtime story?*

It's kind of odd to me. I guess on rare occasion, with the right context, it could work; but typically what I'd expect to see would be me and my SO snuggling in bed reading stories to each other... kind of like equals. The bedtime story thing sounds far more like what a boy would want his mom to do.

*Would you allow your partner to drink your breast milk, from your breasts?*
See above. I mean, stuff happens during sex, and I'm cool with a lot; but if he had a fixation on this, I'd be kind of concerned...

*Do you like eggs?*
Yes.


----------



## Eros_Passion

Fine.

What makes you, you?


----------



## Death Persuades

Jennywocky said:


> @_josue0098_
> 
> *How much effort are you willing to put into a relationship with a man who occasionally becomes stubborn and overly sensitive to pretty much everything, but he also puts in as much effort as is possible to him at any give time?*
> 
> I'm forgiving and understand my partner is human, and so I'm always willing to work with a partner who perceives there is a problem and is working to better himself. At the same time, the phrase "puts in as much effort as is possible to him at any given time" is rather vague; in the end, there's also a minimum bar that has to be crossed. For example, if my boyfriend is beating me or my husband cheating on me, I'm going to call things off regardless of "how much effort" he is putting (or not putting) into things. Even for something more mundane (like constant depression/avoidance), it could severely weaken and kill the relationship.
> 
> Just because someone is doing his best (for him) doesn't mean it is still acceptable for the relationship to work.
> 
> *Would you be freaked out or something similar if one day your partner asks you to tuck him in bed, and read him a bedtime story?*
> 
> It's kind of odd to me. I guess on rare occasion, with the right context, it could work; but typically what I'd expect to see would be me and my SO snuggling in bed reading stories to each other... kind of like equals. The bedtime story thing sounds far more like what a boy would want his mom to do.
> 
> *Would you allow your partner to drink your breast milk, from your breasts?*
> See above. I mean, stuff happens during sex, and I'm cool with a lot; but if he had a fixation on this, I'd be kind of concerned...
> 
> *Do you like eggs?*
> Yes.


I don't hit people or constantly avoid them but sometimes, no matter how hard i try to feel better, i feel down.


----------



## Death Persuades

Jennywocky said:


> @_josue0098_
> 
> *How much effort are you willing to put into a relationship with a man who occasionally becomes stubborn and overly sensitive to pretty much everything, but he also puts in as much effort as is possible to him at any give time?*
> 
> I'm forgiving and understand my partner is human, and so I'm always willing to work with a partner who perceives there is a problem and is working to better himself. At the same time, the phrase "puts in as much effort as is possible to him at any given time" is rather vague; in the end, there's also a minimum bar that has to be crossed. For example, if my boyfriend is beating me or my husband cheating on me, I'm going to call things off regardless of "how much effort" he is putting (or not putting) into things. Even for something more mundane (like constant depression/avoidance), it could severely weaken and kill the relationship.
> 
> Just because someone is doing his best (for him) doesn't mean it is still acceptable for the relationship to work.
> 
> *Would you be freaked out or something similar if one day your partner asks you to tuck him in bed, and read him a bedtime story?*
> 
> It's kind of odd to me. I guess on rare occasion, with the right context, it could work; but typically what I'd expect to see would be me and my SO snuggling in bed reading stories to each other... kind of like equals. The bedtime story thing sounds far more like what a boy would want his mom to do.
> 
> *Would you allow your partner to drink your breast milk, from your breasts?*
> See above. I mean, stuff happens during sex, and I'm cool with a lot; but if he had a fixation on this, I'd be kind of concerned...
> 
> *Do you like eggs?*
> Yes.


I don't hit people or constantly avoid them but sometimes, no matter how hard i try to feel better, i feel down.

also... i already want to read stories to my partner. i wa just wondering how women feel about it.


----------



## qingdom

How to properly determine when and where to go on a vacation with your SO when there are other priorities at hand?

I mean, does it get to a point where you just say 'fuck it, let's go' and to hell with the world or .... play it safe and just play along with the game of life?

The pros and cons are... by saying fuck it and go, you're living the moment... by waiting, as each day, each hour, each minute goes by, you won't be able to go backwards and make up for lost time.

without SO is easy, you would be single. you make your own choices. with SO, with kids, or with SO+kids just adds 2+ more heads you may have to worry about UNLESS that's what you want. to spend more time than the little you already have with them because they mean much to you.

the 'other priorities' at hand could be one of many things... it could be life changing, it could be financial burden, etc. All those are obstacles that you just want to 'pause' and gather yourself... but since there's no 'pause' for most people in real life, you have to make do.



thoughts?


----------



## Jennywocky

josue0098 said:


> I don't hit people or constantly avoid them but sometimes, no matter how hard i try to feel better, i feel down.


Depression is depression. If you're getting treated and are trying to get better, then that is a positive. (I actually had a history of depression and anxiety myself and had some dark years of my life that impacted my family.) It depends on the specific circumstance as to whether the relationship can maintain itself, as well as the resources and needs of your partner.



> also... i already want to read stories to my partner. i wa just wondering how women feel about it.


Well, I'm fine if he wants me to read to him, and he wants to read to me the same amount; but I think that is a little different from "tucking him in and reading him a bedtime story" on a semi-regular basis.


----------



## Sina

ISFjosue0098 said:


> What do you think about super muscular guys?


not a fan


----------



## petite libellule

ISFjosue0098 said:


> What do you think about super muscular guys?


 Not a fan either. I like chest and shoulders and being held and feeling that they're strong. but seriously, if the guy goes to the gym more than his day job? need not apply


----------



## android654

Do you know yourself? Do you think you have a good grasp of who you are as a person?


----------



## milti

android654 said:


> Do you know yourself? Do you think you have a good grasp of who you are as a person?


Yes.
Yes.


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> Do you know yourself? Do you think you have a good grasp of who you are as a person?


yes and absolutely!


----------



## countrygirl90

ISFjosue0098 said:


> What do you think about super muscular guys?


If you mean guys who have excessive bulging muscles ,eww......... they look gross, I think they should donate those muscles to skinny guys ,just kidding :laughing:.Excessive of things make them ugly .........


----------



## qingdom

Why does a confessing interest in a person to the person (regardless of gender) have to change the dynamic of a friendship (be it already existing or recently established)?

Communication, shared stories, and cherished moments of things prior to confession _seemed_ to have went steady, then *brickwall*....

silence and distancing ensues ... to almost the extent where one of either party hides to severe such a connection?

Space and time will fill that gap, but I strongly believe the silence and distancing is so unnecessary. Leads to doubts, wild assumptions, invalid conclusions, or what have you.

Would it have been better had the confessor kept his/her mouth shut or better to have said it than to let mixed signals interfere with all things blah?


Usually I just shrug it and bottle it all under 'This must be some twisted endurance test.' and fill it there.... *proceed with continued waiting for an answer*... but time will tell that I am/was/is delusional... and pretty much sound and so... every.single.damn.time.


----------



## petite libellule

qingdom said:


> Why does a confessing interest in a person to the person (regardless of gender) have to change the dynamic of a friendship (be it already existing or recently established)?


I know it's not fair. But it's reality. Some things just are. If you are professing feelings, then you are proposing to do something with those feelings. So let's say a guy tells a female friend he has interest. Now what? Sometimes you have strong feelings for another person, but that doesn't mean you want to do anything with those feelings. 

So I think you need to accept the reality that if you are confessing interest to the other person, you are changing the dynamic. What do you want the other person to DO with those feelings? Maybe their silence and distance is them not knowing what to do with those feelings. Because they don't know what you want. Or maybe they don't know what they want.

*I think the lesson here is to be direct.* Don't profess your feelings unless you want to take them somewhere. Such as, you tell the person how you feel, you directly ask if they share those feelings and if so, if they're interested in dating (whether seriously or casually). This way there is no waiting game. 

If you express you have feelings without expressing what you want ... THAT is where the problem is, imo. Keeping things ambiguous is great. But you can't go back and forth. You can lead the friendship to a "relationship" (of casual or serious) Or you can lead the friendship into the deadzone. OR, you can always lead a relationship into a brick wall. That's always fun  

I know it's not fair but life's not fair. SOMEONE is going to be the leader of the relationship, whether it be the girl or guy. Eventually that relationship can become an authentic partnership. But algebra before calculus ya know. Don't confess feelings if you don't want the partnership of a platonic friendship to change (and just because you can't have something now, doesn't mean you can't have it in the future. So mind your timing. Timing is very important.)

This is all just opinion of course. And I could be reading this entirely wrong too. 

You were fairly vague/ambiguous w/ your post which is ironically, case in point. 

Sorry if this was rambly. Just some thoughts off the top of my head, that's all. 
Hope it wasn't too confusing! LOL! Best wishes :kitteh:


----------



## Jennywocky

ISFjosue0098 said:


> What do you think about super muscular guys?


Gross.

I mean, being trim and fairly well-built is good, but I'm not into the hard-cut look. Chris Evans in his Cap America role is probably as hard-rock as I'd like.



android654 said:


> Do you know yourself? Do you think you have a good grasp of who you are as a person?


I used to feel like I did, but I was also kind of stuck in a rut and very depressed with life and trying to adapt to too many conflicting needs of other people. The last few years have been a real awakening experience for me.

I have a really good sense of the broad aspects of myself, so I do feel like I "know me" -- but at the same time I feel like I'm constantly learning something new -- my likes and dislikes, who I want to spend time with and who I don't, how much organization I enjoy and benefit from, what I'm good at and bad at, etc. 

Also, with feeling more free socially without having to adhere to certain behaviors, I find myself playing more and responding in ways I didn't expect. Sometimes it's good stuff, sometimes it's bad. I don't feel as "nice" as I used to think I was... or, to put it another way, I'm still a "good" person but sometimes now I bite. Kind of like when Aslan is referred to as not being a "safe" lion.

@Ningsta Kitty: Great comments about disclosure. I agree. There can be confusion about what people want, by even making it a conscious topic of conversation, and sometimes people aren't even sure themselves. Also, taking responsibility. Don't bring it up unless you think the risk is worth it. If you don't necessarily want anything different, maybe it's not worth bringing it up.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

ISFjosue0098 said:


> What do you think about super muscular guys?


 They are not for me. 



android654 said:


> Do you know yourself? Do you think you have a good grasp of who you are as a person?


 I feel like I do know myself and I have a good grasp on who I am as a person, yes, but...I'm also always growing and changing, so with that, I am always striving to understand myself. I actually have very little patience for people who don't try to see themselves...especially people who won't face their bias and the pain of admitting their own ugly. 



qingdom said:


> Why does a confessing interest in a person to the person (regardless of gender) have to change the dynamic of a friendship (be it already existing or recently established)?


 Because it could alter their motives, which could lead to destruction if there are certain boundaries that need to be maintained.


----------



## LadyO.W.BernieBro

how is babby formed.

how girl get pragnent


----------



## JaySH

OMG WTF BRO said:


> how is babby formed.
> 
> how girl get pragnent


----------



## qingdom

Ningsta Kitty said:


> This is all just opinion of course. And I could be reading this entirely wrong too.


Does this mean I ruined a perfectly normal friendship just by opening that door; that it can never stabilize? And I cannot get the person to ever talk to me again? Or do I wait a while before saying 'hi' again?




Enfpleasantly said:


> Because it could alter their motives, which could lead to destruction if there are certain boundaries that need to be maintained.


Alter whose motive? destruction of where and to what boundaries? 


Isn't this where communication plays key? I'm making the effort and attempt to explain myself and open up, but if they turtle up, I'm as confused as to what I ever did wrong or incorrectly. And ... I want to know where I went wrong so that I can correct myself. Sadly, there's no answers I could obtain otherwise.

If I become persistent in making an attempt to converse, and there's more distancing, what I'm thinking is that I'm being more annoying to said person; making the situation worse than better. So the question is keep being persistent, wait a while to give them time/space to dwell, or give up entirely?

"Live and learn" does not apply here, because I haven't learn anything at all from situations like these/this.


----------



## petite libellule

qingdom said:


> Does this mean I ruined a perfectly normal friendship just by opening that door; that it can never stabilize? And I cannot get the person to ever talk to me again? Or do I wait a while before saying 'hi' again?


 No. not necessarily. Law of attraction. The more you focus on her leaving, you set yourself up for a self fulfilling prophecy. Take your time. She's not going anywhere. Woman is not a hot commodity. She's a person. I'm sure she valued your friendship. Give it space and time and how you try to re-open, mend, strengthen that friendship entirely depends on what personality type she is (I think). I say that because I've found that many of the females I enjoy and interact with here, they like to be approached and handled differently than I do. So one way isn't better than another way, more like, whatever way suites her style of being. I hope this isn't getting more confusing! Lol!


----------



## Enfpleasantly

qingdom said:


> Alter whose motive? destruction of where and to what boundaries?
> 
> 
> Isn't this where communication plays key? I'm making the effort and attempt to explain myself and open up, but if they turtle up, I'm as confused as to what I ever did wrong or incorrectly. And ... I want to know where I went wrong so that I can correct myself. Sadly, there's no answers I could obtain otherwise.
> 
> If I become persistent in making an attempt to converse, and there's more distancing, what I'm thinking is that I'm being more annoying to said person; making the situation worse than better. So the question is keep being persistent, wait a while to give them time/space to dwell, or give up entirely?
> 
> "Live and learn" does not apply here, because I haven't learn anything at all from situations like these/this.


Sorry, I answered the question by putting myself in the situation, not by considering your specific situation, so my answer reflects that; I'll try to explain...For me, being friends is fine, but if the person told me he had stronger feelings for me than that, it would change things because I would no longer see our interactions as innocent and fun. I might even wonder if he is trying to wedge his way between myself and my Husband, which is crossing boundaries. I hope that made sense. Is your friend involved with someone? 

Another scenario could be that when you tell her you are interested in more than a friendship, she may feel you are expecting more from her than she is willing to give, and this could also change things in the dynamic. 

I suppose I would just try to hold off longer on telling them how you feel. Maybe wait for signals that she is also interested in more than a friendship.


----------



## Up and Away

How do you feel when a man slips his opinion into you, and you sort of disagree with it but decide it would be more fulfilling to go with it


----------



## petite libellule

Master Wolf said:


> How do you feel when a man slips his opinion into you, and you sort of disagree with it but decide it would be more fulfilling to go with it


I wouldn't think it more fulfilling if I'd disagree. I think it sounds like the person is using the guy. Why else would a woman go along with an idea she disagreed with. She's either in love or using the guy. Interesting choice of words btw


----------



## Jennywocky

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Interesting choice of words btw


Yeah, what was up with that? 

Just because a guy manages to blow his wad without argument doesn't mean that his opinion wasn't seriously deficient, and if he puts it out there too much, eventually he might find his ego shrinking.


----------



## Up and Away

You both seem to be agreeing nicely. You are so similar, it's almost like you are inside eachother


----------



## petite libellule

Master Wolf said:


> You both seem to be agreeing nicely. You are so similar, it's almost like you are inside eachother


There you go again you perv! :laughing:

you're just trying to get the "ask the woman" thread to turn into some pillow fight. :tongue:


----------



## WickerDeer

Wellsy said:


> Growing up were there things that were teachings of how to treat some men?
> I know generally parents are teaching their kids to treat people with respect.
> But I was just thinking how growing up there was information passed down as a boy of how I was expected to treat girls and women.
> Just wondering if there was a same deal with girls growing up on how they were expected to treat guys.
> I was thinking about this after remembering how many men actually hire high end sex workers to talk about their familiy and other things, to have someone listen. It seems weird to me but I guess I was wondering if women are taught that men aren't just sex fiends, I know women on this forum are smart enough to know that but early on in life did you hold such a view? That men weren't emotional beings and all they cared about was sex? If so, what changed this view?


The only teachings I got were:

My grandmother told me to be careful about who I married because some men seem nice at first and then they turn mean.

My mother told me to keep my legs crossed.

Eventually I learned that men were individuals, separate from the experiences of myself of my family. I think I always knew that and had faith in that, but I learned to individually blame rather than incorporate those experiences into the same personal general perspective. (also, I guess individually accept/praise).

I grew up in a family where men were basically under-represented though--at least in my deeper emotional connections. Still, I feel a strong bond to my dad even if I do have memories of his gf screaming at me and telling me he hit her (and calling me a chicken, and blaming me because I hid during their fights). But I like him--I just had to learn to see him as something deeper--as an individual. And this mirrors my general gender growth, or that growth towards understanding and incorporating the other gender into my identity and my important views of the world.

This seems to stand in contrast to what I was talking about before--like my need to place personal blame. But I think that's the term--personal--that is important. My dad is more important to me so I can afford to figure out his perspective, influences etc. Some people are less important than him, so I can give them a cheaper title (like, douchebag--one of my current favorites). This frees up the majority of men from the same title.

IDK if it's working--it seems to be, but it's still a work in progress.


----------



## android654

Why do so many women seem to hold some kind of rape fantasy?

In a scenario where you meet another version of yourself do you think you'd be attracted to yourself? Sexually? Emotionally? (For the purposes of this question you should try and ignore your orientation if you're not normally attracted to your own sex.)


----------



## carlaviii

android654 said:


> Why do so many women seem to hold some kind of rape fantasy?
> 
> In a scenario where you meet another version of yourself do you think you'd be attracted to yourself? Sexually? Emotionally? (For the purposes of this question you should try and ignore your orientation if you're not normally attracted to your own sex.)


1. I don't know. I mean, I can understand the attraction of a guy wanting you so badly, aggressively gotta-have-you-right-now along with rough handling. Yeah, that's something I'll daydream about. It's not rape, though; I'm a willing participant.

Wishing he'd stop, being terrified, wanting to curl up and disappear... no. Been there, done that. Not doing it again.

2. Let's say I met some male version of myself... lol. Well, he'd be intellectually interesting. It would make for good conversations, and since we'd want the same things sexually that could be interesting -- but not a relationship. I'm pretty flaky.


----------



## Jennywocky

carlaviii said:


> 1. I don't know. I mean, I can understand the attraction of a guy wanting you so badly, aggressively gotta-have-you-right-now along with rough handling. Yeah, that's something I'll daydream about. It's not rape, though; I'm a willing participant.


That's basically it. It looks like a rape fantasy on the surface, so for sake of labeling that's how it's referred to, but it's not really about being rape.

I was watching this movie called The Unfaithful last week w/ Diane Lane, and there was a scene in there that left me both aroused and disturbed at once (it was the sex scene in the hall, the last one she has with her lover, where she started by saying she was breaking things off but he is very aggressive and she ends up doing it anyway) -- it totally walks into that uncomfortable area where you know she wanted to have sex physically (she was craving the experience) but mentally/emotionally she did not because she was trying to save her marriage before she totally killed it. So that was too far, IMO... he crossed a line. But there's still a turnon when you are desired by someone who you trust and do want. 

Sex and/or sensuality also can naturally have aggression in it. I don't know if it's the greatest example, but like with my cat -- if I pet him too much (and he's obviously liking it a great deal), at some point it's common for him to change from sensual affection to starting to bite at me, and it can happen in a second, so that I'm careful now and watching for signs. It's almost like he's not even aware of the shift, he's just responding to it instinctively -- but stimulation like that can basically convert and/or mix with something else when it becomes too intense. I think that is the appeal of rough sex in general, it lives in that gray area.


----------



## carlaviii

Jennywocky said:


> That's basically it. It looks like a rape fantasy on the surface, so for sake of labeling that's how it's referred to, but it's not really about being rape.


I agree. I can see why it gets labeled "rape fantasy" since it's rough, it could involve a stranger, she might be saying no and meaning yes (it does happen, as in your movie example)... it sure does look like rape. But there's an underlying caveat of being attracted to the man doing it, and an underlying consent. 

Heh, and my cat does the same thing. We say things like "Careful, he's all revved up..." when he's about to switch into attack mode.


----------



## .17485

What do you think of online dating sites? Have you met a guy through OKCupid, Plenty of fish, Facebook, E-harmony? I met a girl through Plenty of Fish when I was in university. She lived in the city I was living in. She was a few years older than me. Went to a pub. Lol I didn't say much. I was just trying to know her. I think you meet funny people on the sites.


----------



## Snakecharmer

ilphithra said:


> I have a basic knowledge of the mind-body link but I haven't dug deeper into it although I know for a fact that it works, and in some women it's very strong to the point they do it without even training it.


I miss playing around with that. I need to revive my relationships with my hypnosis friends. 



ilphithra said:


> My question, from one woman to another: why are you (women) do confusing? I don't get women at all. :tongue:


:laughing: I don't think I'm confusing at all. I've been told I have "boy brain", though. I'm pretty blunt and open. No games here. 



ilphithra said:


> And a second one: Have you even been kicked in the clitoris?
> I have, during a martial arts class. My sparring partner managed to get her big toe right* in there* somehow. I swear I never sang soprano so good... all the while being torn between singing some more and laughing my brains out at the ridiculous of the situation...


Hmm, maybe? I can't remember. Maybe a light kick? :laughing:


----------



## Snakecharmer

Tega1 said:


> What do you think of online dating sites? Have you met a guy through OKCupid, Plenty of fish, Facebook, E-harmony? I met a girl through Plenty of Fish when I was in university. She lived in the city I was living in. She was a few years older than me. Went to a pub. Lol I didn't say much. I was just trying to know her. I think you meet funny people on the sites.


I've used OkCupid on and off. I've met nice fellas there, but dating tires me. I'm very wishy-washy about relationships. I have my outgoing, flirty times and times when I just want to be left alone. 

I'm still friends with two men I met on OKC. I'm at a funny stage in my life...I'm divorced and doubt I'll ever get married again. I'm not having more children. I know what I want in a relationship and it is hard to find. At this point, I want someone very laid back who likes to travel and has his sh!t together for the most part.


----------



## .17485

Snakecharmer said:


> *I've used OkCupid on and off. I've met nice fellas there, but dating tires me. * I'm very wishy-washy about relationships. I have my outgoing, flirty times and times when I just want to be left alone.
> 
> I'm still friends with two men I met on OKC. I'm at a funny stage in my life...I'm divorced and doubt I'll ever get married again. I'm not having more children. I know what I want in a relationship and it is hard to find. At this point, I want someone very laid back who likes to travel and has his sh!t together for the most part.


Was it a guy close to where you living or someone living in another country?


----------



## Snakecharmer

android654 said:


> If you could commit any crime, with the knowledge that there would be no legal repercussions, what crime would you commit? Why?


I'd rob a bank, but not via violent means. I'd never harm anyone. But I'll admit it would be fun to never have to worry about $$$$ again. I'd use some for myself and my family, of course, but I'd also help a LOT of people. I have an idea for a non-profit, and I'd use most of the $ for that. 



android654 said:


> Is there any woman (if you're straight) or man (if you're gay) that you would have sex with even though it does not line up with your orientation? Why?


Yes. I generally consider myself straight, but I have experimented with one woman, years ago. Every once in awhile, I come across a woman and think _Could I? Maybe..._



android654 said:


> If you were chosen by god(s) to decide how humanity must come to an end, which method of destruction would you use? Why this particular method of destruction?


Hmm. Something quick and painless. Not sure. Will have to think on that...



android654 said:


> In the event that your country is enveloped in another world war and you're given the option to be drafted or to seek refuge in another country which would you opt for? If you chose to fight, why? If you chose to run, why?


I'd seek refuge in another country. I'm very anti-war and there's no way I'm getting involved in that.



android654 said:


> Do you or have you ever thought of owning a gun for your own protection? Was there a particular event that made you consider it as necessary?


I have taken a gun safety class and have logged many hours of training and practice. I did own a gun - until someone broke into my house and stole it (safe and all) back in December. I have not replaced that gun yet, but plan to. Just haven't gotten around to it yet. I see gun ownership as a necessary evil - the "bad guys" are always going to have guns and/or other weapons; why shouldn't I?

What are three novels you would recommend a person to read if they wanted to get an in depth picture of who you are?[/QUOTE]

This is tough. I mostly read nonfiction. I'll have to think on this one and get back to you.

If you could become any mythical creature (vampire, siren, ghost, minotaur, etc.) which would you pick and why?[/QUOTE]

A mermaid - no question! I love the water and swam competitively for 11 years. Seems like a peaceful existence.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Tega1 said:


> Was it a guy close to where you living or someone living in another country?


Local.

Did you meet someone online who lives far away?


----------



## Snakecharmer

android654 said:


> Do you believe in the existence of a soul? If so do you think you have the ability to influence it somehow or is it merely driving you to an uncontrollable end?


Unfortunately, I believe that after we die, that's it. I don't think there's anything else...I hope I'm wrong. This might be a bad time for me to respond to questions like this, though, because I seem to be in the throes of an existentialist crisis.



android654 said:


> Have you ever found yourself forcing emotions in a relationship? Such as forcing the acts of love but not truly feeling the emotions of it.


Yes. I'm not sure if it is just my personality, or if I haven't met the "right" person yet. Clock is ticking...



android654 said:


> Ever had a relationship so intense or passionate that all others fail to make a connection because they can not meet the same standards?


This is sort of sad, but I don't even remember. When I moved a few months ago, I went through old boxes and found love letters and cards from my ex-husband. I think we were fairly passionate at some point...long time ago.


----------



## .17485

Yeah I meant someone who lives in another country but you speak online


----------



## Snakecharmer

carlaviii said:


> Just want to agree with Jennywocky -- I'm 41, and I've noticed the same thing. There's just something about guys over 50. No thanks. I've had much better luck with guys less than 5 years older than me, or as much younger as care to ping me on dating sites. (I was kinda surprised that I managed a decent conversation with an early 20-something, even.)


Hmm, I dunno...I have a male friend who is 60 and he's gorgeous. He takes VERY good care of himself and looks better than a lot of men half his age. He's very intelligent, too. 

I'm at a crossroads in life...I'm almost 43 and am not having more children. Most men my age are married, divorced with young children, or want to have kids (I am physically unable to have more). I'm starting to think I need 50+ to find someone with whom I have things in common.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Tega1 said:


> Yeah I meant someone who lives in another country but you speak online


Sounds like fun, but will you be able to meet eventually?


----------



## Snakecharmer

android654 said:


> Is there something you want to or wanted to pursue in life but for one reason or another feel too old or ill equipped to attempt to pursue it?


So many things, yes. Medical school is a big one. I was seriously considering a physician assistant program, but the local medical school eliminated their part-time program this year. 



android654 said:


> Is there a trait or traits you find alluring in a person that others might demonize or steer clear of?


Ballsy-ness? :laughing: I like people who are outspoken and honest. I'm not very affectionate, so I prefer to be around people who aren't touchy-feely types. 



android654 said:


> Are there thing you do, things that you enjoy doing or feel compelled to do that you have no explanation for?


Procrastinating. Sometimes it pays off, sometimes I drive myself crazy. 



android654 said:


> When faced with the choice between rationality and passion, which do you more enthusiastically choose? Why?


Rationality. Probably no surprise, based on my answers to previous questions. :laughing: But...some passion might be a nice change...getting older and I'm sort of bored lately...


----------



## .17485

Snakecharmer said:


> Sounds like fun, but will you be able to meet eventually?


Hmm maybe not. I would just meet someone local.


----------



## JoetheBull

If a guy lost his virginity to a prostitute in his mid 20's. Should he try to hide it for the rest of his life and just say he is a virgin to others, especially any women that he may have a romantic interest in? Or eventually confess to being even more pathetic then a 90 year old virgin? 

And yes I am asking because I unfortunately have seen a prostitute before and prostitutes are possibly the only means of sex in my entire life. Which I have some very small glitter of hope that will not be the case.


----------



## carlaviii

JoetheBull said:


> If a guy lost his virginity to a prostitute in his mid 20's. Should he try to hide it for the rest of his life and just say he is a virgin to others, especially any women that he may have a romantic interest in? Or eventually confess to being even more pathetic then a 90 year old virgin?


He could just say it was a one-night stand, if asked. I don't see any reason to deny that he's had some experience -- it's the details of who she was that's the problem.

Because yes, there's some ick factor involved in having patronized prostitutes... but I'm not the best person to gauge the "normal" female reaction against.


----------



## Snakecharmer

JoetheBull said:


> If a guy lost his virginity to a prostitute in his mid 20's. Should he try to hide it for the rest of his life and just say he is a virgin to others, especially any women that he may have a romantic interest in? Or eventually confess to being even more pathetic then a 90 year old virgin?
> 
> And yes I am asking because I unfortunately have seen a prostitute before and prostitutes are possibly the only means of sex in my entire life. Which I have some very small glitter of hope that will not be the case.


I wouldn't hold it against you, all other things being considered. But then...I'm pretty open-minded. I had a long-term relationship with a guy who had REALLY experienced a lot sexually (been with men and women, prostitutes, hired a woman to hit him, etc). He was a nice guy, seriously. One of the best boyfriends I've ever had.

That being said - I'd get to know someone very well before sharing that, if you share it at all. I generally do not talk about my past sexual experiences with new SOs. No reason to, IMO.


----------



## smallpeas

Boss said:


> Really get to know yourself, your limitations and strengths, what you want from a relationship, what you can offer, what your requirements and deal-breakers are. Be confident in yourself. Love yourself, as cheesy as it sounds. Know what you want; be flexible but don't settle for someone who doesn't respect you and/or isn't the kind of person you can see yourself with, long term.
> Make sure to have your own hobbies and interests. Don't look for someone to "complete" you. Look for someone who complements you. Get comfortable with vulnerability, because relationships require a lot of that. Have realistic expectations of yourself and potential partners without compromising on your happiness, self respect and peace of mind. Don't fear heartbreak. As painful as it is, you will walk away wiser if you stop to reflect on it. Don't give up. *You'll find someone who's right for you.* Take your time.


What do you say to someone who agrees with everything written here as a (healthy, self-positive) way of being but _does not_ agree with the assertion "you (general) will find someone right for you"?


Someone--yes. Someone decent--yes. Someone somewhat compatible--quite probably. Someone "right for you" (& mutually so)--not necessarily.


----------



## Sina

smallpeas said:


> What do you say to someone who agrees with everything written here as a (healthy, self-positive) way of being but _does not_ agree with the assertion "you (general) will find someone right for you"?
> 
> 
> Someone--yes. Someone decent--yes. Someone somewhat compatible--quite probably. Someone "right for you" (& mutually so)--not necessarily.


It depends on how you define "someone right for you". It's not impossible to to find someone "right for you and mutually so". And, the likelihood of finding that person is more important to focus on than the possibility of not finding that person. The search will have been worth it anyway. Many times, when a person doesn't find someone that's best for them, they have a big role to play in this. You may try your best and fail, but you should walk into it fully expecting to find someone that is right/best for you and mutually so. Self fulfilling prophecy et al.


----------



## countrygirl90

Athena Avril said:


> Would you mind giving me some advice on whether I should give up on love, continue searching, or just accept whoever comes to me?


 Well of-course you should not give-up on love but love is not something you need to search for,love starts from us and ends with us ,don't just bottle and lock it up for someone special ,share it with people and things you love.Because in process of doing so you,ll feel more freedom and happiness from inside and you won't have to depend on just one person for your happiness. Love will indeed come to you if you continue with your life with positive attitude and focus on over-all progress of your life . People might be externally attractive but internal beauty is what makes a long lasting relationship work .:happy:.I truly believe that god has made someone for everyone in this world and by the time we meet that person ,we had already suffered through enough experiences to know how to value and cherish that person and his/her love for whole life.So no need to feel panic or worried about your love life.


----------



## Aquamarine

smallpeas said:


> What do you say to someone who agrees with everything written here as a (healthy, self-positive) way of being but _does not_ agree with the assertion "you (general) will find someone right for you"?
> 
> 
> Someone--yes. Someone decent--yes. Someone somewhat compatible--quite probably. Someone "right for you" (& mutually so)--not necessarily.


I don't believe in a Mr. Right or Miss Right either. I think what she's trying to say is that I can find someone who loves me as much as I love him.


----------



## Aquamarine

countrygirl90 said:


> Well of-course you should not give-up on love but love is not something you need to search for,love starts from us and ends with us ,don't just bottle and lock it up for someone special ,share it with people and things you love.Because in process of doing so you,ll feel more freedom and happiness from inside and you won't have to depend on just one person for your happiness. Love will indeed come to you if you continue with your life with positive attitude and focus on over-all progress of your life . People might be externally attractive but internal beauty is what makes a long lasting relationship work .:happy:.I truly believe that god has made someone for everyone in this world and by the time we meet that person ,we had already suffered through enough experiences to know how to value and cherish that person and his/her love for whole life.So no need to feel panic or worried about your love life.


Thank you for sharing your perspective. Although I don't believe in 'everyone having someone made for them', I find what you say comforting.


----------



## smallpeas

Boss said:


> It depends on how you define "someone right for you". It's not impossible to to find someone "right for you and mutually so". And, the likelihood of finding that person is more important to focus on than the possibility of not finding that person.*The search will have been worth it anyway.*


_Impossible_ isn't the same as _not necessarily_. 

Is it against something in human nature to simply not assume that there has to be someone "right for you"? [This is abstracting away from assuming that even if there is someone "right for you," you may never encounter or be able to be with that person.]

Why is the search worth it anyway?


----------



## carlaviii

smallpeas said:


> Why is the search worth it anyway?


Change vs. attempted stasis. Personally, I see change as being inevitable -- time goes on, we all get older, we all change -- and trying to avoid it will fail. So take the journey, and meet the change rather than hiding from it.

Do I think there's a "perfect soulmate" out there? It's possible, but not likely. There's nothing wrong with that, and it doesn't mean there isn't somebody that I can be happy with. Or that I shouldn't search for that perfect soulmate.


----------



## smallpeas

carlaviii said:


> Change vs. attempted stasis. Personally, I see change as being inevitable -- time goes on, we all get older, we all change -- and trying to avoid it will fail. So take the journey, and meet the change rather than hiding from it.
> 
> Do I think there's a "perfect soulmate" out there? It's possible, but not likely. There's nothing wrong with that, and it doesn't mean there isn't somebody that I can be happy with. Or that I shouldn't search for that perfect soulmate.


My original question is theoretical. It's about whether it is genuinely part of the human condition to believe that there is someone "right for" each of us or whether that is a sprinkle of fairy tale we've "all" somehow come to believe. Is this an innate human belief and drive or is it social conditioning? [Why does there need to be someone for each of us?]

Someone you can be happy with--I feel like that's not too difficult. The person "of your dreams"--a little harder.


My 2nd question came about because I don't understand what "journey" has to do with my 1st Q. What journey are we talking about? The journey of dating or social relating? (Was I to read social "journey' as a journey of self-exploration?) [While I do agree learning about others teaches you about you, it seems a little beside the point. Are we here to learn about ourselves or to relate to others?] Again, _I_ personally wonder if this isn't more social ritual than something primal.


----------



## carlaviii

smallpeas said:


> My 2nd question came about because I don't understand what "journey" has to do with my 1st Q. What journey are we talking about? The journey of dating or social relating? (Was I to read social "journey' as a journey of self-exploration?) [While I do agree learning about others teaches you about you, it seems a little beside the point. Are we here to learn about ourselves or to relate to others?] Again, _I_ personally wonder if this isn't more social ritual than something primal.


I was aiming big and meaning the general journey of life. Which includes self-exploration, learning about ourselves, and relating to others. Finding acceptance -- socially, sexually, what-have-you -- by others is part of that. 

Primally speaking, humans are pattern-seeking apes designed to live in family-based troupes and be mostly-but-not-quite monogamous. I do think the need for social interaction and acceptance is built into humans at a deep level. We'll seek it with non-human pets, even objects. While the concept of a soulmate is a social construct, it's got solid roots in our psyche.

IMO.


----------



## Sina

smallpeas said:


> _Impossible_ isn't the same as _not necessarily_.
> 
> Is it against something in human nature to simply not assume that there has to be someone "right for you"? [This is abstracting away from assuming that even if there is someone "right for you," you may never encounter or be able to be with that person.]
> 
> Why is the search worth it anyway?


I know the difference. It's tautological that you won't "necessarily" find someone that is best/right for you. Quite obviously, you may not find this person. If so, why? What role did you have to play in this? Surely, there's a crap load of people to choose from. Were your expectations too high? too low? Did you know what you were looking for? Do you know yourself well enough to be ready to find someone best suited for you? Many questions arise. I am not saying there "has to be" someone right for you, but it's extremely likely that you will meet someone who complements you and with whom you'll be happy etc. The likelihood of this is greater than the likelihood of never finding anyone, and for someone looking to learn how best to approach dating or what have you (which is the question I responded to), it's best to focus on what you more than likely can have, assuming you approach it realistically and maturely, than the prospect of remaining unfulfilled because you may not "necessarily" find someone. There are no guarantees in life. If you don't, tough shit. 

You're reading naively idealistic undertones into my response. I am not talking about some vague ideal of the "one" Mr/Ms. Perfect. The very idea is ridiculous to me. 

The search for personal fulfillment, for understanding, companionship, sexual gratification and more is "worth it" to a person who seeks all of this and more. Whether or not you end up with someone, you will have learnt a lot about yourself and hopefully had a variety of fulfilling (or not so fulfilling..these have their use) experiences along the way.

As for human nature, part of this search for a person to complement us has to do with the fundamental human desire (fundamental to most anyway) to seek pleasure (including sexuality), companionship etc. Social constructs have their role, as well.


----------



## smallpeas

Warning for Romantics: my post isn't very romantic



carlaviii said:


> I was aiming big and meaning the general journey of life. Which includes self-exploration, learning about ourselves, and relating to others. Finding acceptance -- socially, sexually, what-have-you -- by others is part of that.






carlaviii said:


> Primally speaking, humans are pattern-seeking apes designed to live in family-based troupes and be mostly-but-not-quite monogamous. I do think the need for social interaction and acceptance is built into humans at a deep level. We'll seek it with non-human pets, even objects. While the concept of a soulmate is a social construct, it's got solid roots in our psyche.


I think humans are a (communal) social species by necessity, but I don't know that that translates into the notion of each single human having a correlate (or several) of another "perfect for you" human in the romantic realm. I'm not sure the idea is even useful to society or individuals. If instead of working on forging relationships with people we are compatible with for long-term companionship we're all looking out for THE PERFECT ONE who fills our every single desire, many of us are will miss out on potential stable, satisfying rapports. Yes, some of us can find both those things in the same person who also feels the same about us & at the same time, but for much of humanity, this sort of thing was never even a focus. We don't go about friendship thinking, "There's one perfect friend out there for me who's going to be my best friend and I hers/his. (And I'll need no other friends.)"

So, does the pair-bonding/mating aspect of the (chemical) experience of love somehow make humans strive for this "perfect connection"? Is it a genetic competitiveness compulsion? If simply genetic competitiveness, couldn't I just find the mate I'd like to have offspring with and then raise the child with the person (or persons) I find (more suitably) compatible for long-term caring of the child & myself? [e.g. I have "Brad Pitt's" baby but go raise him with "Joe Average but Father/Husband Wonderful"?] Is the "ideal" part about the DNA & the care coming from the same person really more of a benefit to the man? (Lest he risk not having access to his descendants.)

Sorry, I really am deconstructing it like this.


----------



## BarryO

I know you girls pee in front of one another, but do you also poo together too?


----------



## Aquamarine

BarryO said:


> I know you girls pee in front of one another, but do you also poo together too?


Maybe there are girls with a fetish for that, but not every female does that because I've never heard of it.


----------



## Aquamarine

smallpeas said:


> I think humans are a (communal) social species by necessity, but I don't know that that translates into the notion of each single human having a correlate (or several) of another "perfect for you" human in the romantic realm. I'm not sure the idea is even useful to society or individuals. If instead of working on forging relationships with people we are compatible with for long-term companionship we're all looking out for THE PERFECT ONE who fills our every single desire, many of us are will miss out on potential stable, satisfying rapports. Yes, some of us can find both those things in the same person who also feels the same about us & at the same time, but for much of humanity, this sort of thing was never even a focus. We don't go about friendship thinking, "There's one perfect friend out there for me who's going to be my best friend and I hers/his. (And I'll need no other friends.)"
> 
> So, does the pair-bonding/mating aspect of the (chemical) experience of love somehow make humans strive for this "perfect connection"? Is it a genetic competitiveness compulsion? If simply genetic competitiveness, couldn't I just find the mate I'd like to have offspring with and then raise the child with the person (or persons) I find (more suitably) compatible for long-term caring of the child & myself? [e.g. I have "Brad Pitt's" baby but go raise him with "Joe Average but Father/Husband Wonderful"?] Is the "ideal" part about the DNA & the care coming from the same person really more of a benefit to the man? (Lest he risk not having access to his descendants.)
> 
> Sorry, I really am deconstructing it like this.


I don't believe in 'the Perfect One' either. To each its own, if that's what they believe in, that's their choice I suppose.


----------



## Luke

What's a good way to send a girl an initial message on an internet dating site? Is complimenting her, by saying she looks beautiful in her photos, a good idea, or is it coming on too strong?


----------



## carlaviii

smallpeas said:


> So, does the pair-bonding/mating aspect of the (chemical) experience of love somehow make humans strive for this "perfect connection"? Is it a genetic competitiveness compulsion? If simply genetic competitiveness, couldn't I just find the mate I'd like to have offspring with and then raise the child with the person (or persons) I find (more suitably) compatible for long-term caring of the child & myself? [e.g. I have "Brad Pitt's" baby but go raise him with "Joe Average but Father/Husband Wonderful"?] Is the "ideal" part about the DNA & the care coming from the same person really more of a benefit to the man? (Lest he risk not having access to his descendants.)


I would caution against reading too much into DNA-based motivations, when it comes to humans. And I say that as someone who focused on molecular genetics in the course of getting a biology degree. Those urges go through a _lot_ of filtering and cross-hybridizing before they reach the "surface" in the form of words and behaviors.

As far as real relationships vs. soulmates -- do you "believe in" the "perfect cup of coffee"? Ideal versions of mundane things?


----------



## carlaviii

Luke said:


> What's a good way to send a girl an initial message on an internet dating site? Is complimenting her, by saying she looks beautiful in her photos, a good idea, or is it coming on too strong?


Personally, I look for signs that he actually read my profile and understood what I said in it. But I'm an NT, so...


----------



## Death Persuades

Luke said:


> What's a good way to send a girl an initial message on an internet dating site? Is complimenting her, by saying she looks beautiful in her photos, a good idea, or is it coming on too strong?


Do not comment on how she looks. Women on dating sites tend to care more about other things. Read her profile and use that to start a conversation. OR tell her how good she looks and never hear from her again. I'm sure she's heard the same thing from the last 100 men. Be memorable.


----------



## Death Persuades

BarryO said:


> I know you girls pee in front of one another, but do you also poo together too?


Must.... Not... Feed....


----------



## Luke

Diligent Procrastinator said:


> Do not comment on how she looks. Women on dating sites tend to care more about other things. Read her profile and use that to start a conversation. OR tell her how good she looks and never hear from her again. I'm sure she's heard the same thing from the last 100 men. Be memorable.


What are some of the main things they do care about, if you don't mind me asking?


----------



## Aquamarine

Jennywocky said:


> That's probably a better way to say it.
> 
> There's the idea of being compatible. However, some of the relationship is also defined by commitment and the choice to love.
> 
> I also think that if I'm going to search for someone, I need to maintain a positive outlook. if I go into it thinking about how I won't find someone, I tend to miss opportunities. maintaining a positive outlook helps me maximize my possibilities, rather than limit them unnecessarily, even if realism might not think the odds to be stellar.


Thank you.

There is a difference in between both examples. A compatible couple is more likely to fall in love, while the committed couples are more likely to stay together.

I agree very much with staying positive when looking for a partner. It's similar to the law of attraction: a positive person is more likely to attract other positive people. Nevertheless, it's still important to be vigilant and realistic about expectations.


----------



## Jennywocky

illow said:


> Whats the best way to resolve a problem with a women? and in the womens defence....erm i think its my fault.
> 
> Oh by the way shes INTP.


if she's INTP, then you likely discuss the problem rationally and don't try to justify your choices or cover things up. Honesty and candor wins points. Try not to take criticisms personally, they're typically meant impersonally as a way to fix a problem. 

That all hinges on maturity level with both parties.


----------



## Jennywocky

Diligent Procrastinator said:


> Hahaha I can't believe Barry O actually thinks I'm a girl. I observe them a lot, though... :ninja: I enjoy observing quiet girls because I can learn a lot more from what a quiet girl DOES than from what a non-quiet girl says.


Well, you do have a female gender marker in your profile. If you don't want to be seen as a girl, why use a girl flag? It's confusing if someone doesn't know you.


----------



## Death Persuades

Jennywocky said:


> Well, you do have a female gender marker in your profile. If you don't want to be seen as a girl, why use a girl flag? It's confusing if someone doesn't know you.


We had talked before I changed it, though... o: and I changed it as a small experiment... I hypothesized that girls got more friend requests and messages and likes from men than men received from everybody. I was right xD lots of needy guys out there.


----------



## Jennywocky

Diligent Procrastinator said:


> We had talked before I changed it, though... o: and I changed it as a small experiment... I hypothesized that girls got more friend requests and messages and likes from men than men received from everybody. I was right xD lots of needy guys out there.


ROFL!

yeah, I didn't really know who you were until now, so... i was like WTH?

you'd be amazed at how different it is. you are far more visible, IMO.

Same thing with MMOs, although there some people can be jaded because so many males play women in MMOs. Still, when you're a bona fide woman, you'd be surprised at how people's attitudes can change, both good and bad. I've had female friends who would play male characters so they would be left alone.


----------



## qingdom

Jennywocky said:


> Same thing with MMOs, although there some people can be jaded because so many males play women in MMOs. Still, when you're a bona fide woman, you'd be surprised at how people's attitudes can change, both good and bad. I've had female friends who would play male characters so they would be left alone.



random tidbit, in korea, players are almost always tied to their gender upon registering with their ID/SSN equivalent. If male, must stick to male-based char. If female, must stick to female-based char.

must suck a lot for girl gamers in korea unless they play a genderless game or stick to offline titles.


----------



## Jennywocky

qingdom said:


> random tidbit, in korea, players are almost always tied to their gender upon registering with their ID/SSN equivalent. If male, must stick to male-based char. If female, must stick to female-based char.
> 
> must suck a lot for girl gamers in korea unless they play a genderless game or stick to offline titles.


Oh, Korea -- how have things come down to this?


----------



## .17485

Where do you women go to meet guys? Do you meet at a nightclub, through a friend, religious place e.g. church, etc


----------



## Aquamarine

Tega1 said:


> Where do you women go to meet guys? Do you meet at a nightclub, through a friend, religious place e.g. church, etc


For me, I meet guys through friends, shared interests (eg. same classes, same clubs, etc.) and via the internet (I never meet them, though). It's mostly platonic, so I don't know much about dating this way.


----------



## Jennywocky

Tega1 said:


> Where do you women go to meet guys? Do you meet at a nightclub, through a friend, religious place e.g. church, etc


I was trying to meet them online, but without much luck. 

Now I'm simply trying to hang out with groups of people interested in the same kinds of things I am, and maybe I'll run into someone there. Also trying to not just turn every interest group into a dating pool, trying to be happy with myself and what I'm doing with my life.


----------



## petite libellule

How do you feel about giving gifts to guys? I tend to really enjoy giving little quirky gifts or creating things or surprises. I was just curious what other women thought about this type of expression of affection. I'm not talking about extravagant gifts or anything, just little things.


----------



## Sina

Ningsta Kitty said:


> How do you feel about giving gifts to guys? I tend to really enjoy giving little quirky gifts or creating things or surprises. I was just curious what other women thought about this type of expression of affection. I'm not talking about extravagant gifts or anything, just little things.


It's lovely. If I were creative :laughing: outside of poetry/theatre, I would've made quirky gifts for my SO. But, since I am more of a poet, I have gifted him a collection of 100 poems that I wrote just for him. As for other stuff, I've never attempted anything else besides a handmade card that was atrocious, but he liked it and thinks my artwork was hilarious. Yeah, my point is this is a great idea.


----------



## countrygirl90

Ningsta Kitty said:


> How do you feel about giving gifts to guys? I tend to really enjoy giving little quirky gifts or creating things or surprises. I was just curious what other women thought about this type of expression of affection. I'm not talking about extravagant gifts or anything, just little things.


 About gifts ,so far I haven't met a single men who likes taking gifts ,from men in my family to my ex-boyfriend.Even I asked them many times if I wish to gift them something what would they like ,they just shrugged off and said that they only like the way I treat them with love and care .Later on I came to know what that care actually meant, for my father and brothers it was 'good home cooked meal' ,they are die hard foodie ,they don't care if you buy them new shirts ,jeans or other accessories etc and it is easy to bribe them with delicious food ,to get your way with them ,:laughing: but for my ex-boyfriend it was to spend unlimited time with him holding hands and singing romantic songs to him all the time .:blushed:,it is a beautiful memory ,even though I don't feel about him the same way I used to at that time .


----------



## Pyromaniac

Be honest, do you sometimes talk about men in a condescending way with other females?


----------



## Up and Away

What do you think of my dance video?





What about my guitar video?


----------



## petite libellule

Master Wolf said:


> What do you think of my dance video?


*1.* I think you're very handsome and have experience as a mac daddy :blushed:

*2.* I think your shirt must have been itchy, or maybe it was too hot.
Next time try cotton so you don't have to air out your stinky pits so much :tongue:

*3.* I think you need to get a GIANT decorative mirror behind the couch. 
And then some framed photo's on the wall as well. 
And there are some really creative solutions that can be found on pinterest
for your slip cover on the main couch. :kitteh:

THAT'S what I think! :laughing:


----------



## petite libellule

Master Wolf said:


> What about my guitar video?


I think that it was lovely but that the vent above your head kept distracting me :tongue:
And I think that the bed wasn't made in the room with the door open too, lol!!!


----------



## carlaviii

Pyromaniac said:


> Be honest, do you sometimes talk about men in a condescending way with other females?


(shrugs) It's been a long time, but it has happened. 



Master Wolf said:


> What about my guitar video?


Pearl Jam, excellent choice. You're too cool for me.


----------



## Up and Away

Ningsta Kitty said:


> *1.* I think you're very handsome and have experience as a mac daddy :blushed:
> 
> *2.* I think your shirt must have been itchy, or maybe it was too hot.
> Next time try cotton so you don't have to air out your stinky pits so much :tongue:
> 
> *3.* I think you need to get a GIANT decorative mirror behind the couch.
> And then some framed photo's on the wall as well.
> And there are some really creative solutions that can be found on pinterest
> for your slip cover on the main couch. :kitteh:
> 
> THAT'S what I think! :laughing:


Hahaha I love you!!!


----------



## Up and Away

carlaviii said:


> Pearl Jam, excellent choice. You're too cool for me.


Thank youuuuu. Big confidence boost! I'm sure you are cool enough to make a video with no one you know watching though!!! hahaha


----------



## Pyromaniac

milti said:


> Yes, of course, whenever a guy is being painful and doing unfathomable stuff, or is just plain difficult to deal with.
> 
> I usually cry to my friends about a guy when he and I have fought and I am angry, or when he's being mean and I'm miserable, or just insult the guys I know in general to assure myself that they are creating the problem, not me.
> 
> An ex of mine once remarked about one of our friends, "She hates every single guy that doesn't love her." I defended her (I still would) but maybe he had a point.


I meant in a general sense, i.e the classic "all men are the same".


----------



## Pyromaniac

Jennywocky said:


> If you didn't get my point earlier, this is a thread where men are supposed to be asking women for answers about things they're curious about regarding female experience that they would not have had the opportunity to experience themselves due to their maleness in society (the counterpoint to the "ask a male" thread); but you seem to be here to politicize some malcontent you possess towards women in general because you think they are bashing men. You should step outside your comments and reexamine them for tone and meaning in context of the rest of the discussions here.
> 
> Arguing sexual politics and pointing fingers violates the spirit of this particular thread (as well as the other if the problem would arise there), and it would be nice if you took it elsewhere.


What seems is not always what is. I honestly only intended to confirm my suspicions, and I believe you only formulated such an interpretation when I debased your justification.


----------



## Pyromaniac

carlaviii said:


> Neither of these things is gender-related.
> 
> I'm not questioning the accuracy of your observations, I'm just saying you have too a limited data pool to draw such conclusions.


I don't believe, I suspect, which is why I ask.

Then what is it relative to?


----------



## Pyromaniac

snail said:


> Check your privilege. It's hard for me to imagine someone not seeing that we are living in a patriarchy, but I know it can be difficult to recognize if you have always grown up with the advantages of the privileged class. Admittedly it took me a while to realize that racism was still a problem that occurred as much through oversight and subtle non-inclusion as through the more blatant forms of discrimination. I was already an adult by the time I realized that most "flesh colored" bandages were made for light-skinned people, or that white people were disproportionately over-represented on television, let alone the fact the people of color tend to make less money than white people. I had thought that we were all doing pretty well because everyone could vote and run for office, but the reality is that most people in positions of power in America are white men. Everyone else is under-represented.
> 
> If you are blaming women for being more sexist than men in their conversations, it is probably because you don't see all of the ways that men are trained to be more sexist in their everyday actions: to feel entitled to women's bodies; to define their masculinity by their level of dominance over others; to take for granted not having to deal with certain confidence-crushing annoyances that we have to put up with every day, such as being exposed to constant reminders that only one very specific body type is acceptable if you are a woman while men are not expected to look any certain way or retain an impossibly youthful appearance indefinitely. I get upset by the very idea that our value is dependent on our appearance or our sexual utility to heterosexual men. Women are considered lazy if we don't have paying jobs, but selfish if we don't also take on the burden of doing most of the housework and/or raising children. Women tend to make less money than men, and are considered less promotable than men. Most of our political leaders, religious leaders and bosses are male. We have to live in constant fear of being sexually attacked by men. We are blamed for anything bad that men do to us, and are then told that men are only blaming us (for not being careful enough) because they care about protecting us (from the choices they make). They feel personally attacked and accuse us of sexism when we say we are afraid of the very real threats they pose to our safety. They accuse us of sexism for problems we are trying to eliminate, such as the emotional invalidation of boys or the tendency to save women and children first in emergencies, which are problems caused by the expectation of male dominance, then claim that the patriarchy doesn't exist. Can you see why we would be a little upset?
> 
> When women badmouth men, such complaints are usually a way of coping with the imbalance of having been treated in a sexist manner on a regular basis, and living in a sexist society that makes us feel powerless. Some women cope by venting frustration.
> 
> This is different from your male friends being cheated on. Women can get cheated on without becoming sexists, too. It is systematic oppression that embitters so many of us.
> 
> Sure, at least one of the women I know who engages in male bashing does so because of personal experiences, but if she hadn't been female, these things wouldn't have happened to her. From the time she was a child, every man in her life sexually violated her, physically abused her, or put her down, and the messages she received externally about a woman's place in society only confirmed what she suspected about her perceived value to men. She felt hated from every direction. Eventually she found a man who wasn't abusive or controlling and didn't treat her like a mere sex object (which is a lot harder than you might think) and married him because she saw him as the _only_ exception she had ever met, but she was still wounded by everything that had happened to her. She was still hurt by the more general forms of inequality. She still makes "stupid male" jokes because it makes her feel just a little bit less helpless. I know it isn't right, but try to have a little empathy. In her position, wouldn't you feel even a little bit tempted to do the same?
> 
> I, too, have had bad things happen to me at the hands of aggressive men, and I blame them individually. I was lucky enough to meet enough nice men to keep me from losing faith in their existence. Even so, I am cautious around all men, not because I blame them all, but because I can't know which ones are dangerous, and I know that if I happen to be hurt by another of the dangerous ones, most people will think less of me for "letting it happen" than they will think of the man who hurt me. I don't feel the need to badmouth men in general, but I am quite aware of the ways society is still tilted in their favor, or at the very least in a way that gives them more power.


Don't have too much time on my hands right now, but do shoot me a PM if I don't reply in a couple of weeks.


----------



## carlaviii

Pyromaniac said:


> Then what is it relative to?


Maturity level, personality type, upbringing, past experiences... developing more sexist opinions can be a phase in response to trauma, and may wear off with time and good experiences... there are plenty of variables in play.


----------



## Jennywocky

Pyromaniac said:


> What seems is not always what is. I honestly only intended to confirm my suspicions, and I believe you only formulated such an interpretation when I debased your justification.


No, but let's just drop it.... I don't care to pursue this line of discussion anymore; hopefully someone else can provide you with some information you deem useful.


----------



## smallpeas

Is there a "Relationship Confessions" thread around these parts? Or only a "Sexual Confessions" one?


----------



## Blacktide

Are you happy being a woman? Or would you rather have been born a man?


----------



## littleblackdress

Blacktide said:


> Are you happy being a woman? Or would you rather have been born a man?


Yes and no. For some things it would be easier being a man - for example, waiting at the checkout lines with kids - the fathers get all the smiles, and, well, women are pressured to have their kids under control. Society expects less of men - if my husband's and my house is a disaster, I am the only one who gets the pressure to tidy it - he gets "sympathy" for having such a lousy housekeeper for a wife. As the breadwinner, I don't get to ease up on the household. Outside of the work sphere, society awards men for participation... women on the other hand, are expected to master whatever sphere they participate in... That said - I don't have nearly the pressure on my wardrobe that men do... I can wear a dress, pants or whatever, in just about whatever colour I want, and I will only get slack if it is inappropriately revealing. For men, wearing certain colours MEANS something, wearing a skirt would be an enormous statement - surprisingly even if it is a kilt, though the statement is different. I can also stay home with kids and the world doesn't wonder what is wrong with me... So - when it sucks to be a woman, I notice how green the grass is on the other side... but, that doesn't mean that it doesn't suck to be a man, too... And, as a woman, I do like the 10 year longer life span and better health to boot...


----------



## LadyO.W.BernieBro

Blacktide said:


> Are you happy being a woman? Or would you rather have been born a man?


On one hand, l think l'd feel more normal being a man. Having male friends, not being trolled the way you are when you're female and not being socialized like one. l think l've acted more reserved with my emotions and thoughts in way that could be perceived as masculine since childhood. Had l been male, it would have been normal but l had people fawning over me like l was depressed or just rude/mean and even getting male family members involved to help me.

l still feel like an alien in a girl's body sometimes and think people should react to me like l'm male...which to me, l guess would be, leaving me alone in retail stores, not trying to make chit chat with me, not holding doors open for me from way too far away, etc. Underlying theme of _getting away from me_.

Often, l haven't even noticed when people were treating me "like a girl'' and it's partially because it doesn't happen that much and partially because l can't pick up on it, l don't really know what it feels like to feel like a girl but with age l've seen the patterns.

But l like the package l came in. l don't see how wrong you can go with the average female body, l wouldn't swap it.

l don't know that l'd want to own a man ass lol.


----------



## searcheagle

smallpeas said:


> Is there a "Relationship Confessions" thread around these parts? Or only a "Sexual Confessions" one?


Not a woman, but I don't this question needs one.  Nope, but you can create one!


----------



## Jennywocky

Blacktide said:


> Are you happy being a woman? Or would you rather have been born a man?


Well, most people essentially are in sync with their biology, especially because you don't know what it feels like to be another gender, just as if you'd be born with four arms in a race with four arms, you'd feel happy with four arms. 

So then it comes down to more perceived benefits within a particular cultural setting or in a particular environment, from having a particular physique and social identity. I think there's probably more useful benefits for an NT to be male in Western culture. 

However, i don't want to be anything other than what I am; I'm happy being female in terms of that's how I identify and perceive myself regardless, and being male socially and physically would be a horrific cage for me. I'm satisfied and happy as who I am.


----------



## Brian1

What's the worst stereotype of being a woman you don't like in your opinion, that you try to combat through your actions?


----------



## carlaviii

Brian1 said:


> What's the worst stereotype of being a woman you don't like in your opinion, that you try to combat through your actions?


That women are shallow, vapid cowards who are obsessed with shoes and status symbols.


----------



## PrimroseMind

Yes! Someone made this thread.  Can all girls answer?


----------



## carlaviii

PrimroseMind said:


> Yes! Someone made this thread.  Can all girls answer?


Jump right in


----------



## smallpeas

searcheagle said:


> smallpeas said:
> 
> 
> 
> Is there a "Relationship Confessions" thread around these parts? Or only a "Sexual Confessions" one?
> 
> 
> 
> Not a woman, but I don't this question needs one.  Nope, but you can create one!
Click to expand...

 It was a leading question. I was hoping someone else would bump or create.


But since asking this, I've already divulged my "relationship confessions" elsewhere on these forums. It is out of me!


----------



## nevermore

What do you think of the perception that women "aren't funny"?


----------



## Killbain

Which is more important....




Family
Health
Sex
Chocolate
SHOES!!!!!


----------



## Snakecharmer

Wellsy said:


> Do you have a moment where you said something funny that just killed, that everyone was cracking up because it was delivered perfectly? If yes, do explain the story of how it happened.


Honey, I do this every day. :wink:




*but usually people laugh at me when I wasn't intending to be funny*




:laughing:


----------



## JaySH

Snakecharmer said:


> Honey, I do this every day. :wink:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *but usually people laugh at me when I wasn't intending to be funny*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :laughing:


And this, this is why I love you (in a completely platonic, Internet friend kinda way:tongue


----------



## Snakecharmer

Tega1 said:


> Which are you attracted to and why extroverted guys or introverted guys?


The best relationship I ever had was with an INTP. If he hadn't started drinking a lot, we probably would have stayed together. 

It has been a long time since I've been involved with an extrovert. Hmm. Hard question to answer at this time..


----------



## Snakecharmer

JaySH said:


> And this, this is why I love you (in a completely platonic, Internet friend kinda way:tongue


Right back at ya :wink:


----------



## Sun Lips

nevermore said:


> What do you think of the perception that women "aren't funny"?


To be completely honest, I just don't understand it. I think plenty of women are funny. Both women I know and female comedians/writers/actresses. I have heard people say that women "just aren't funny" and I just think it's.. odd. Men and women both have the potential to be funny.

I'm not necessarily offended by it. Just because some people think it's true doesn't make it true.

The weirdest thing to me is that I just don't know where it would come from. I guess women weren't a huge part of the comedy scene until more recently, but I don't see why that should make a difference. I don't know. It's just a silly way to think. If it's someone's true and honest opinion, they have a right to that, but I wonder if they aren't being closed-minded for some reason. It's difficult for me to believe that a person who says that has honestly never found a woman funny.


----------



## Hypaspist

Do you consider a guy dressed in clothing a little loose fitting and looking like he's about to fall asleep at any given second unapproachable? At what point does clothing make a guy approachable (regardless of sleep situation)?

I'm referring to the ones that just have that look about them that they haven't slept in days.

[I hope this makes sense.]


----------



## countrygirl90

Made Man said:


> Do you consider a guy dressed in clothing a little loose fitting and looking like he's about to fall asleep at any given second unapproachable? At what point does clothing make a guy approachable (regardless of sleep situation)?
> 
> I'm referring to the ones that just have that look about them that they haven't slept in days.
> 
> [I hope this makes sense.]


 ,I personally don't find Laziness or untidiness attractive in a guy or any person .Clothing plays a vital part of attractiveness in guys for me , although without them ,too would work for me :wink::laughing:,just kidding.
One should wear clothes that are of their size and that they smell of fresh soap or laundry.I find the discipline ,freshness , cleanliness and clothes which reflect these attributes in men high turn on .


----------



## countrygirl90

Killbain said:


> Which is more important....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Family
> Health
> Sex
> Chocolate
> SHOES!!!!!


I think its quite obvious ,HEALTH ,coz without good health I won't be able to enjoy or look after any of the rest .


----------



## countrygirl90

Blacktide said:


> Are you happy being a woman? Or would you rather have been born a man?


Most of the time, yess!!! even if I have to suffer through the demands and obligations of being a female ,because I feel we females are blessed and gifted more than males by the nature .We can cope with so much trauma and still believe in positivity ,we are emotionally strong,we are far more independent and brave than men .We bring a new life to this world and that is the greatest feeling of love only a woman can feel from her soul, even after bearing so much pain and suffering during child birth. Women don't need to love any one in particular because their heart is always full of love and compassion and that is what makes them so beautiful and adorable .
But lately I"m feeling this strong desire to be a man ,specially when in my sexual fantasies I crave to fuck my lover ,like I want to mark and dominate them with this masculine trait ,:wink: , but otherwise I love way god created me as a female .


----------



## Killbain

countrygirl90 said:


> I think its quite obvious ,HEALTH ,coz without good health I won't be able to enjoy or look after any of the rest .


 Awwwww....come on, we all KNOW it's SHOES!!!!!


----------



## countrygirl90

Killbain said:


> Awwwww....come on, we all KNOW it's SHOES!!!!!


I'm fond of many girly things but shoes are not one of them because 
1. Shopping for shoes causes a lot of frustration for me because I have big feet and I can't get the right size for me most of the times even after searching all malls and footwear shops.Foot size of women in India is generally small ,that is why the stock of shoes or fashion footwear for women is available in limited size range here. 
2. I prefer flats and comfort footwear, than fashionable ones ,so I buy them only when I'm in need of them for either party ,function or day to day going out etc kind of shoes or sandals, keeping the comfort factor in my mind .Also it rarely happens that I find a shoe or sandal of my liking available in my size :frustrating:.


----------



## littleblackdress

nevermore said:


> What do you think of the perception that women "aren't funny"?


I remember reading that what men find attractive is women who find MEN funny, and that funny women often don't get the man - because social pressure is for the guy to be funnier than the woman... So, I think that a lot of potentially funny women stop being funny when they realize that this is a social no-no. That said, I do find that many women are funny. And, well, I am hilarious!


----------



## nevermore

countrygirl90 said:


> Women don't need to love any one in particular because *their heart is always full of love and compassion* and that is what makes them so beautiful and adorable


I actually do wish I was a woman a lot of the time and strongly value these traits but...what?

For better and for worse, women (and men) are a lot more interesting than that.


----------



## Pyromaniac

carlaviii said:


> Maturity level, personality type, upbringing, past experiences... developing more sexist opinions can be a phase in response to trauma, and may wear off with time and good experiences... there are plenty of variables in play.


Good points. However, I suspect that it has become the norm for many females to develop sexist tendencies. Most women formulate such a bias at an age of 4, the few males who do at 8. I'm quite young myself, and have grown alongside females who have been much to young to have experienced life's darker side without the signs manifesting themselves, or for a depth of character to develop. My point is that many women seem to be embracing the social acceptance of reverse sexism out of pure conformity to the norms.


----------



## phony

how different does a g-spot orgasm feel from a clitoral orgasm?

(lol this has prolly been asked before, but i don't want to page hunt sorrehh)


----------



## Snakecharmer

phony said:


> how different does a g-spot orgasm feel from a clitoral orgasm?
> 
> (lol this has prolly been asked before, but i don't want to page hunt sorrehh)


G-spot is more of a full-body experience...


----------



## Snakecharmer

Pyromaniac said:


> Be honest, do you sometimes talk about men in a condescending way with other females?


What? No. I generally get along better with men and have more male friends than female, so no.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Brian1 said:


> What's the worst stereotype of being a woman you don't like in your opinion, that you try to combat through your actions?


That we are overly emotional, manipulative, and moody. That anytime we are annoyed, it is "that time of the month". That if we are assertive and speak our minds, we are "bitches". 

I don't try to combat them; the perceptions of others are their own. I'm me, I do what I do, and that's it.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Killbain said:


> Which is more important....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Family
> Health
> Sex
> Chocolate
> SHOES!!!!!


Family
Health
Knowledge
Success
Being a good human & helping others
Sex is in there somewhere...it moves up and down in this hierarchy (no pun intended)
Shoes
Chocolate


----------



## countrygirl90

Snakecharmer said:


> G-spot is more of a full-body experience...


Yeah ,I agree with you Snakecharmer ,its like clitoral orgasm lasts only for short time while G-spot orgasm leaves you dazed and disoriented for much much longer time ,you won't be able to remember where you are or what time it is ,literally :kitteh:.


----------



## Jennywocky

countrygirl90 said:


> Yeah ,I agree with you Snakecharmer ,its like clitoral orgasm lasts only for short time while G-spot orgasm leaves you dazed and disoriented for much much longer time ,you won't be able to remember where you are or what time it is ,literally :kitteh:.


oh dear. I already have that problem. 

Maybe more G-spot orgasms will just make me sane instead.



Pyromaniac said:


> My point is that many women seem to be embracing the social acceptance of reverse sexism out of pure conformity to the norms.


That part remains to be shown. 

Again, why are you derailing our thread by posting this here? It should be in another thread that you create, if you care to discuss it in such detail.



Made Man said:


> Do you consider a guy dressed in clothing a little loose fitting and looking like he's about to fall asleep at any given second unapproachable? At what point does clothing make a guy approachable (regardless of sleep situation)?
> 
> I'm referring to the ones that just have that look about them that they haven't slept in days.
> 
> [I hope this makes sense.]


How often do you fall asleep at work anyway? :tongue:


----------



## Jennywocky

carlaviii said:


> That women are shallow, vapid cowards who are obsessed with shoes and status symbols.


Just because I like shoes doesn't mean I'm shallow and vapid. 



nevermore said:


> What do you think of the perception that women "aren't funny"?


Not true, although there might be different flavors of funny that men and women tend to gravitate towards. I mean, there seems to be far less "stand up" comedians who are female. There's an interesting discussion to be had. There are also some women stand-ups who seem to have a more masculine sense of humor, and a few guys (like Gaffigan?) who are softer and kind of goofy-silly. Why should that be labeled "feminine," though? Well, add that to the list of more topics to discuss. 

I think one large detriment in Western culture is that women traditionally have been assigned the role of more "practical" one in relationships and in caring for the home base. Comedy is a performance, and men are taught to perform and excel in their performance. In a relationship, females are kind of expected to be the grounded ones, make sure things stay on track, keep things from getting too crazy -- i.e., lending stability. It's not that you can't be funny in that social context, but it's a different type and extent of funny. 

There's also a social deference thing that permeates female peer groups. I've even been in legal counsels before where when the group is all female, the tone and attitudes and interactions are much different than if you put a male lawyer or two into the mix. There's kind of a "social grease" that culturally females are still expected to manage and indulge in, that sometimes can be annoying but otherwise prevents disruptions from derails. That same mentality I think filters into female attempts at public humor; both men and women have expectations for female behavior.


----------



## Hypaspist

Jennywocky said:


> How often do you fall asleep at work anyway? :tongue:


An office is a very good cure for insomnia. roud:


----------



## Jennywocky

Made Man said:


> An office is a very good cure for insomnia. roud:


Hey, no arguments there.
Especially long meetings in little rooms with shut doors and no ventilation. Oy!


----------



## qingdom

Is it rude and/or awkward to ask a person to seek a means of closure?


For instance, if there was an instance where whatever friendship or fling there once was, is no longer; that never got anywhere, such that the distance between the people developed and grew, then somewhere recently down the line, one of the two people tosses a random "Hey, how are you? I miss you / I was just thinking about you the other day?" out of nowhere.


As a result, this throws mixed signals. Is there / was there even an ounce of friendship or a relationship to salvage in there somewhere?

It's often like, "hey! I got over you! but you hit me with a snowball for no apparent reason.... what the hell gives?"


Friendship doesn't have to lead to something romantic, but to have an absolute understanding of where things stand would be nice.


If there isn't a romantic bond (now or at all ever) or if they just want things to remain platonic / neutral but don't make any mention of it, is there any chance presenting / confronting / asking said person for a means of closure for some answer from the person?


----------



## Snakecharmer

qingdom said:


> Is it rude and/or awkward to ask a person to seek a means of closure?
> 
> 
> For instance, if there was an instance where whatever friendship or fling there once was, is no longer; that never got anywhere, such that the distance between the people developed and grew, then somewhere recently down the line, one of the two people tosses a random "Hey, how are you? I miss you / I was just thinking about you the other day?" out of nowhere.
> 
> 
> As a result, this throws mixed signals. Is there / was there even an ounce of friendship or a relationship to salvage in there somewhere?
> 
> It's often like, "hey! I got over you! but you hit me with a snowball for no apparent reason.... what the hell gives?"
> 
> 
> Friendship doesn't have to lead to something romantic, but to have an absolute understanding of where things stand would be nice.
> 
> 
> If there isn't a romantic bond (now or at all ever) or if they just want things to remain platonic / neutral but don't make any mention of it, is there any chance presenting / confronting / asking said person for a means of closure for some answer from the person?


I don't think it is rude at all.

If people communicate openly right from the beginning, it will prevent a lot of regret, resentment, and heartache, won't it?

By asking, what do you have to lose? Seems to me that you have far more to gain. :happy:


----------



## Jennywocky

I actually like it when someone tells me how they're feeling, as long as it's not an attempt at coercion or manipulation. I don't like walls of unnecessary distance.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

phony said:


> how different does a g-spot orgasm feel from a clitoral orgasm?
> 
> (lol this has prolly been asked before, but i don't want to page hunt sorrehh)


I agree with @Snakecharmer, gspot is more full body. I would also describe it as "heavier" feeling. It comes from within your body instead of from the outside, so it feels that way too, if that makes sense. 

There's another that's different too..vaginal. In my experience, vaginal comes from within the body, but lacks the full body feel that gspot does. 

Clitoral is surface and a "quick fix" to me.

BUT, when it's all said and done, I don't notice that much of a difference between them. I like them all


----------



## Recom

Enfpleasantly said:


> I agree with @_Snakecharmer_, gspot is more full body. I would also describe it as "heavier" feeling. It comes from within your body instead of from the outside, so it feels that way too, if that makes sense.
> 
> There's another that's different too..vaginal. In my experience, vaginal comes from within the body, but lacks the full body feel that gspot does.
> 
> Clitoral is surface and a "quick fix" to me.
> 
> BUT, when it's all said and done, I don't notice that much of a difference between them. I like them all


vaginal? you mean the a-spot? because the g-spot is vaginal, too.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Recom said:


> vaginal? you mean the a-spot? because the g-spot is vaginal, too.


I've never heard of an a-spot. I know gspot is vaginal, sorry for the confusion...I just don't know what to call the other one :/

I experience 3 different types; clitoral, which I described as a quick surface fix, vaginal is basically like clitoral but with a fuller feeling. With vaginal, I would say the gspot is likely involved somewhat, but not solely like it is with an actual gspot O. With the complete gspot O, it is full body and also makes..other things happen.


----------



## .17485

What hobbies do you women have?


----------



## .17485

Who do you think should make the first move, a guy or a girl?

Traditionally it's the guy


----------



## spada

Have you ever felt instantly attracted to a guy just by looking in his eyes?


----------



## Recom

Enfpleasantly said:


> I've never heard of an a-spot. I know gspot is vaginal, sorry for the confusion...I just don't know what to call the other one :/
> 
> I experience 3 different types; clitoral, which I described as a quick surface fix, vaginal is basically like clitoral but with a fuller feeling. With vaginal, I would say the gspot is likely involved somewhat, but not solely like it is with an actual gspot O. With the complete gspot O, it is full body and also makes..other things happen.


sounds like the a-spot to me.



> _"The A-Spot, AFE-zone or Anterior Fornix Erogenous Zone. Also referred to as the Epicentre, this is a patch of sensitive tissue at the inner end of the vaginal tube between the cervix and the bladder, described technically as the 'female degenerated prostate'. (In other words, it is the female equivalent of the male prostate, just as the clitoris is the female equivalent of the male penis.) Direct stimulation of this spot can produce violent orgasmic contractions. Unlike the clitoris, it is not supposed to suffer from post-orgasmic over-sensitivity."_


 from Desmond Morris: The Clitoris, A-Spot, G-Spot and U-Spot

I've heard about quite a few "spots", but only _knew _that the clitoris and the g-spot work. the female orgasm is a complex art form


----------



## Snakecharmer

Tega1 said:


> What hobbies do you women have?


Weight lifting, kettlebell workouts, reading (non-fiction), and blogging. That's about it right now. When I move back to MD this summer, I'll probably get back into horseback riding and yoga.

I'm taking a project management class right now, so that is taking up a lot of my free time. 

I lead an exciting life. lol


----------



## Snakecharmer

spada said:


> Have you ever felt instantly attracted to a guy just by looking in his eyes?


Yep.  Eye contact can be very powerful.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Recom said:


> sounds like the a-spot to me.
> 
> from Desmond Morris: The Clitoris, A-Spot, G-Spot and U-Spot
> 
> I've heard about quite a few "spots", but only _knew _that the clitoris and the g-spot work. the female orgasm is a complex art form


Thanks for the info! It looks as though I am familiar with all but the a-spot! I think I have a new mission! 

There are too many damn spots in there, ffs :/


----------



## littleblackdress

spada said:


> Have you ever felt instantly attracted to a guy just by looking in his eyes?


Well, I have felt instantly UNATTRACTED to a guy by looking in his eyes...


----------



## bombsaway

Tega1 said:


> Who do you think should make the first move, a guy or a girl?
> 
> Traditionally it's the guy


I usually leave the main first move to the guy but I tend to put myself in an appropriate position for him to do that. For example, I might make the first move in talking to him or complimenting him or might just hang around with him a lot and flirt.



spada said:


> Have you ever felt instantly attracted to a guy just by looking in his eyes?


Usually I'm attracted to the guy first and then the eyes. For example, I might not pay much attention to the eyes if I wasn't already attracted. I think the eyes can up the level of attraction, though. This one time I was quite interested in a guy but unsure and then we made eye contact across the room and he doesn't have particularly interesting eyes but his stare is very intense so when we locked eyes it was _very_ hot.


----------



## qingdom

What's your opinion on the following:

- would you allow the guy/partner to ask for the permission to kiss you?
- would you allow the guy/partner to sneak a kiss with you?
- would you want it from the guy/partner to take/steal a kiss from you?

all scenarios count. same guy/partner, could be different situations. preference? and any positive/negative reactions to any?


----------



## Infermiera

qingdom said:


> What's your opinion on the following:
> 
> - would you allow the guy/partner to ask for the permission to kiss you?
> - would you allow the guy/partner to sneak a kiss with you?
> - would you want it from the guy/partner to take/steal a kiss from you?
> 
> all scenarios count. same guy/partner, could be different situations. preference? and any positive/negative reactions to any?



I would allow my partner to do all three. hehehe I have a particular guy in mind and I wouldn't mind him doing all three in any situation, anytime he wants. :wink:


----------



## JoetheBull

Apparently at work, one of the women there has been asking my father(he works there too) if I am going to the company party. Does this mean she might be interested in me or something? She does usually seem happy to see me. But I usually get smiles from many of the women at my work and I am pretty sure she is completely out of my league.


----------



## qingdom

How do you choose which of your plethora of carrying companions (purse), be it its' color, its size, and what are the items that you MUST include in it [no and's, if's, or but's about it] that you should not leave home without?

they could and may be but not excluded to the following:

- small purse
- medium purse
- large purse
- extra large purse
- small wallet
- medium wallet
- large wallet
- small booklet
- medium booklet
- large booklet
- book
- pouch
- dates' cargo pants
- messenger bag
- backpack


----------



## carlaviii

qingdom said:


> How do you choose which of your plethora of carrying companions (purse), be it its' color, its size, and what are the items that you MUST include in it [no and's, if's, or but's about it] that you should not leave home without?


I own one purse for the things I need whenever I leave the house. This includes: my wallet, sometimes a checkbook, my prescription sunglasses, car keys, a pair of gloves, a comb, some pens, a pack of wet-wipes, and some private things in the zippered compartment. Sometimes my cell phone gets thrown in there too, occasionally a paperback book. It's not a large purse: it's about as wide and tall as an iPad (which fits nicely in it).

I am a minimalist with regards to purses, though. One is plenty.


----------



## wiarumas

The things you like sexually, how did you "discover" them? Was it your SO? We're you reluctant? On your own? Stories from friends that made you interested? Pornography or those novels? Etc.


----------



## carlaviii

wiarumas said:


> The things you like sexually, how did you "discover" them? Was it your SO? We're you reluctant? On your own? Stories from friends that made you interested? Pornography or those novels? Etc.


Mostly in the heat of the moment. Some of the sexual positions I read about in books/magazines/inscribed on stone tablets (oh, those crazy pre-internet days) and then wanted to try them out. 

Then there's anal, which I was reluctant to try at first, didn't like it as a result, and it wasn't until years later when I came back around to it on my own by way of... well, porn was involved, and tremendous frustration, and a toy, but I'm not clear on the exact sequence anymore. 

The most unusual discovery process had to be the whole cougar thing, though. I found out about that by way of my email box on OKC being full of notes from young guys.


----------



## Hypaspist

Loaded question time since I know sometimes women don't understand other women's motives, but nonetheless :

Why do some women _enjoy_ leading on men?


----------



## Jennywocky

Made Man said:


> Loaded question time since I know sometimes women don't understand other women's motives, but nonetheless :
> 
> Why do some women _enjoy_ leading on men?


Speculation here....

Aside from the "revenge" motif, it can be a real rush when you don't have much power in life to feel attractive/desirable and to be able to get men to do what you want them to do. And then to be envied by other women.

It can be a kind of security/egobooster.



wiarumas said:


> The things you like sexually, how did you "discover" them? Was it your SO? We're you reluctant? On your own? Stories from friends that made you interested? Pornography or those novels? Etc.


Uhhh... 
- stories
- porn
- books
- playing around on my lonesome *cough*

I'm more adventurous than my ex.

(Although I guess I learned a few things from my later boyfriend... things I had strong mixed feelings about.)


----------



## Jennywocky

qingdom said:


> How do you choose which of your plethora of carrying companions (purse), be it its' color, its size, and what are the items that you MUST include in it [no and's, if's, or but's about it] that you should not leave home without?


I am kind of lazy and cheap, so I only have a few purses, although they're of all types and qualities so that I might always have one that could fit a situation. However, I rarely swap out on a day to day basis. I usually swap when I get bored.

I have really big purses. I also have tiny purses, in phases where I wanted to be more minimalist.

My current purse is medium/slightly larger.

I always carry in it: 
cell phone
pens
makeup kit
asthma inhaler
tylenol/ibuprofin
iPod
phone charger
hairbrush
coin purse
little wallet
checkbook
kleenex (both for sneezing and also if the public toilet is out of paper)

It's also has more room in it, so I can toss a notepad, paperback book, mini-umbrella, small pop bottle, and other things in as needed.


----------



## LadyO.W.BernieBro

qingdom said:


> How do you choose which of your plethora of carrying companions (purse), be it its' color, its size, and what are the items that you MUST include in it [no and's, if's, or but's about it] that you should not leave home without?
> 
> they could and may be but not excluded to the following:
> 
> - small purse
> - medium purse
> - large purse
> - extra large purse
> - small wallet
> - medium wallet
> - large wallet
> - small booklet
> - medium booklet
> - large booklet
> - book
> - pouch
> - dates' cargo pants
> - messenger bag
> - backpack


:frustrating:l have a pretty plain but nice looking black bag l can use most of the time and it's the only purse l use.

l don't have kids which is probably the main culprit behind a woman's giant purse lol. So. My stuff, credit card, lady ''personals'', laptop. Whatever else l need or want.


----------



## pinkrasputin

wiarumas said:


> The things you like sexually, how did you "discover" them? Was it your SO? We're you reluctant? On your own? Stories from friends that made you interested? Pornography or those novels? Etc.


Masturbation and my SOs. I don't believe anything I read or see because I know my body way better than someone else's words or manufactured cries. 

I remain open to my partner and very present in the reality he may expose me to some new thing that really gets me off. So in a nutshell, I'd say- personal experience. As long as it jives with my personal set of values, I don't know it until I try it. And I may experience it differently with a new partner.


----------



## .17485

I'm 22 and never had a girlfriend or dated, would you women consider that to be normal?


----------



## carlaviii

Tega1 said:


> I'm 22 and never had a girlfriend or dated, would you women consider that to be normal?


It's unusual, but I wouldn't call it "weird".


----------



## .17485

carlaviii said:


> It's unusual, but I wouldn't call it "weird".


Y is it unusual?


----------



## carlaviii

Tega1 said:


> Y is it unusual?


Most people start seeking relationships as teenagers, whether for LTRs or sexual experience. If you've deliberately held off, that's unusual. If it was lack of opportunities, it's merely unfortunate.


----------



## .17485

carlaviii said:


> Most people start seeking relationships as teenagers, whether for LTRs or sexual experience. If you've deliberately held off, that's unusual. If it was lack of opportunities, it's merely unfortunate.


When I was a teenager my parents would have been protective about girls. A girl on the phone who I speak to online phoned and my mum thought she was my gf was just a friend. In university I mainly stayed indoors. I think I'm just put off and think a girl would act funny or I'm just insecure


----------



## Schweeeeks

Are you in a relationship or single?
If you are single, did you ever enjoy it?
And how did you get there?
I'm in pain almost all the time because of "singlehood" and it's starting to become a problem. Future is feeling hopeless. I have to stop myself from bitterly attacking anyone that says "when you stop caring, the right one comes along." It's a little psycho honestly. I don't like being this way. 
Feels like asking a fish to fly. "Stop caring" Yeah. I've tried just about every possibility you can think of to make that happen. A lot of girls would tear my eyes out if they heard me talking about this. I do take good care of myself and flirt for fun. I just can't seem to find the connection I am looking for and being with someone just to be with someone isn't going to work.

Edit:


Snakecharmer said:


> Weight lifting, kettlebell workouts, reading (non-fiction), and blogging. That's about it right now. When I move back to MD this summer, I'll probably get back into horseback riding and yoga.


Kettlebells! <3


----------



## Jennywocky

OMG WTF BRO said:


> :frustrating:l have a pretty plain but nice looking black bag l can use most of the time and it's the only purse l use.
> 
> l don't have kids which is probably the main culprit behind a woman's giant purse lol. So. My stuff, credit card, lady ''personals'', laptop. Whatever else l need or want.


Yeah, with N kids you're packing for N + 1. Maybe +2, to cover a lame-o spouse, lol...


----------



## LadyO.W.BernieBro

Moop said:


> Are you in a relationship or single?
> If you are single, did you ever enjoy it?
> And how did you get there?
> I'm in pain almost all the time because of "singlehood" and it's starting to become a problem. Future is feeling hopeless. I have to stop myself from bitterly attacking anyone that says "when you stop caring, the right one comes along." It's a little psycho honestly. I don't like being this way.
> Feels like asking a fish to fly. "Stop caring" Yeah. I've tried just about every possibility you can think of to make that happen. A lot of girls would tear my eyes out if they heard me talking about this. I do take good care of myself and flirt for fun. I just can't seem to find the connection I am looking for and being with someone just to be with someone isn't going to work.
> 
> Edit:
> 
> 
> Kettlebells! <3


Are you in a relationship or single?

Single.
If you are single, did you ever enjoy it?

Yes. l really think the only reason most people don't go long stretches without dating is because they're willing to date people they aren't crazy about. Sort of it let it happen as it will...which l will not do lol. So l've never dated the way my friends have. l could see problems in their relationships before they could but maybe they just didn't care.

And how did you get there?

Dunno:kitteh: l guess l'm less interested in the companionship part of dating. Just looking for an actual connection so l can last a lot longer without having that person that some people want to be there for more mundane things.

l've found nearly every time l've forced myself to become extremely social l've met someone who things could have worked out with and tried it a few times.


----------



## Jennywocky

*Are you in a relationship or single?
If you are single, did you ever enjoy it?
And how did you get there?*

I am single. (Well, technically, I'm still married, but we've been separated 5+ years and it should be an official divorce this summer when it clears.)

I liked being on my own for the first year or two, overall; I had freedom. The remaining time has been harder: I'm getting older and I feel like my prospects are diminishing, I just wish I had someone I could share my life with, and I'd like to have some support from and support FOR someone else in dealing with both our problems and our dreams.

At the same time, I don't want to just latch up with someone who I don't want to be with day in and day out; I want a good connection, vs my old relationship where we both tried hard but we were just very different in our perspectives and approaches to life and even at our best had trouble making things work.

At the moment, I am trying not to get too focused on the alone-ness but just find goals and dreams to chase after, and I figure the more I connect with the kind of people I'd find on that journey, the more chance there will be to find someone anyway. I haven't had a lot of luck on dating sites. I would say each day is a practice in trying to be content where I am (vs needy) and finding the good in what I have (freedom, flexibility, etc.) vs getting caught up in the relationship I do not have.


----------



## carlaviii

Moop said:


> Are you in a relationship or single?
> If you are single, did you ever enjoy it?
> And how did you get there?


How to explain... married 15+ years, realized about 18 months ago that it was dead and began the process of making my other half realize this without destroying the fragile progress he's made against his depression. I seem to have managed that much, so far.

He knows I have FBs/FWBs. That was a necessary step, as it has now been about six years since he's touched me at all. *EDIT:* He agreed that I should be allowed FBs/FWBs. Boy, that came out wrong the first time.

So I'm in a relationship, still living under the same roof, but in some ways I act single. I'm more content now than I have been in a long time, despite the complexity of the situation.

Which doesn't answer any of your questions about enjoying being single or finding someone... sorry.


----------



## ghostly

Moop said:


> Are you in a relationship or single?
> If you are single, did you ever enjoy it?
> And how did you get there?
> I'm in pain almost all the time because of "singlehood" and it's starting to become a problem. Future is feeling hopeless. I have to stop myself from bitterly attacking anyone that says "when you stop caring, the right one comes along." It's a little psycho honestly. I don't like being this way.
> Feels like asking a fish to fly. "Stop caring" Yeah. I've tried just about every possibility you can think of to make that happen. A lot of girls would tear my eyes out if they heard me talking about this. I do take good care of myself and flirt for fun. I just can't seem to find the connection I am looking for and being with someone just to be with someone isn't going to work.


I'm currently between a relationship and being single. I'm in limbo!
I LOVE being single though, I really do. I mean, I love being in a relationship, but I also love being single. I love having total freedom, nobody to answer to, no social obligations... It's very liberating.
I'm *technically* single right now because my SO broke up with me again. He doesn't always treat me nicely which is a whole other topic that I neither need nor want advice or discussion about, but right now we are in that together-but-not-together limbo because he broke up with me a week and a half ago.

If at all possible, I really recommend trying to change your perspective on relationship! There's always time for relationships and finding love is mostly inevitable - I mean think about it, very few people go their whole lives without falling in love. So enjoy what you have right now, as much as you can. I understand wanting to find someone but there's pros to being on your own too! Sorry if this is not helping you at all, haha.


----------



## Schweeeeks

ghostly said:


> I'm currently between a relationship and being single. I'm in limbo!
> I LOVE being single though, I really do. I mean, I love being in a relationship, but I also love being single. I love having total freedom, nobody to answer to, no social obligations... It's very liberating.
> I'm *technically* single right now because my SO broke up with me again. He doesn't always treat me nicely which is a whole other topic that I neither need nor want advice or discussion about, but right now we are in that together-but-not-together limbo because he broke up with me a week and a half ago.
> 
> If at all possible, I really recommend trying to change your perspective on relationship! There's always time for relationships and finding love is mostly inevitable - I mean think about it, very few people go their whole lives without falling in love. So enjoy what you have right now, as much as you can. I understand wanting to find someone but there's pros to being on your own too! Sorry if this is not helping you at all, haha.


That's great! I hope it works out with this new person. People who enjoy being on their own before being with others have the most fun. Real chance at a connection. 
Yes there are definitely pros. I'm sorry, I know it's childish for me to harp on this kind of stuff.
As my friend said "being single is a very short period in most people's lives."
If I do get married and have kids, there are a lot of things I won't be able to do anymore that I am free to do now.

The problem is I can't seem to ENJOY being single. Despite all its pros and all the things I am attempting to do to enjoy it. 
I was in a relationship for 6 years prior to this past year. Same man. Rare at my age, so that is probably part of it too. 
Do you have a lot of friends? Do you hang out with people? I wonder if that's part of it too. As of right now, I'm still kinda alone. No roommates. I go out by myself sometimes, but still haven't found anyone to hang out with. I do way better when I get to chill with others 1-2 times a week.


----------



## unINFalliPle

What form(s) of birth control have you used?
Which would you recommend?


----------



## carlaviii

unINFalliPle said:


> What form(s) of birth control have you used?
> Which would you recommend?


I was on the pill for many years, both for BC and to control my crazy periods. It worked, but it may have contributed to my lack of libido and creativity for those years. (there were many other complicating factors in both.) 

Currently using condoms plus rhythm, as my cycles are regular. I've used it in the past, too, and I've never had any serious scares. I put a five-day hands-off window around my likely ovulation date (14 days after period starts), and use condoms the rest of the time.

Don't know if either would be right for you, so I can't recommend.


----------



## unINFalliPle

carlaviii said:


> I was on the pill for many years, both for BC and to control my crazy periods. It worked, but it may have contributed to my lack of libido and creativity for those years. (there were many other complicating factors in both.)
> 
> Currently using condoms plus rhythm, as my cycles are regular. I've used it in the past, too, and I've never had any serious scares. I put a five-day hands-off window around my likely ovulation date (14 days after period starts), and use condoms the rest of the time.
> 
> Don't know if either would be right for you, so I can't recommend.


Thanks. My friend was at the clinic this morning for it, so I was wondering what would be good for her. And for me, possibly, in the future. 

I used to be on Yaz. But I feel like that made me sleepy and very moody. I barely had a period. There are a lot of problems with it, so I'm glad I got off it. 

I still don't know what I'll do if I decide to have sex again. I don't like the idea of pills.


----------



## wiarumas

What was the most you paid for a haircut (or styling or whatever it's called)?

Then, was it worth it?


----------



## Jennywocky

wiarumas said:


> What was the most you paid for a haircut (or styling or whatever it's called)?


I've paid $120 to have my hair colored on occasion. And the last time was a damned good job (and with a unique shade of red), so as far as coloring goes, it was worth it -- vs paying less or trying to do it myself and butchering my hair or the color job. It lasted a long time too.

But I don't like spending that amount of money on hair, I typically go as cheap as I can while still looking nice.

EDIT: Actually, since I had my hair cut at the same time, it was probably only about $80-90 for the coloring


----------



## ghostly

Moop said:


> That's great! I hope it works out with this new person. People who enjoy being on their own before being with others have the most fun. Real chance at a connection.
> Yes there are definitely pros. I'm sorry, I know it's childish for me to harp on this kind of stuff.
> As my friend said "being single is a very short period in most people's lives."
> If I do get married and have kids, there are a lot of things I won't be able to do anymore that I am free to do now.
> 
> The problem is I can't seem to ENJOY being single. Despite all its pros and all the things I am attempting to do to enjoy it.
> I was in a relationship for 6 years prior to this past year. Same man. Rare at my age, so that is probably part of it too.
> Do you have a lot of friends? Do you hang out with people? I wonder if that's part of it too. As of right now, I'm still kinda alone. No roommates. I go out by myself sometimes, but still haven't found anyone to hang out with. I do way better when I get to chill with others 1-2 times a week.


It's not childish, it's human! 
I do have a lot of friends right now and I have to say, it helps a LOT. I'm an introvert so I like to stay at home by myself, but when I am single - and especially after a big breakup - I push myself to spend a lot of time with my friends. Like, several times a week, sometimes almost every day. It helps a whole lot. Studies show that friends are better for your psychological health than any level of SO is. Without my friends, I don't think it'd be nearly as fun to be single.
Maybe you should go out and try to meet people! Okay, I know you've probably already done that haha. Have you tried something like okcupid? It doesn't have to be used to necessarily date, you can use it to find friends as well. That's how I met one of my best friends.


----------



## ghostly

unINFalliPle said:


> What form(s) of birth control have you used?
> Which would you recommend?


I've used the pill, the patch, and the shot. I recommend the shot most of all, if it's a good option for you. Unfortunately my body reacted negatively to it and I had to stop using that form, but it was by far the most convenient and I miss it! The patch was fine but annoying to have on my body at all times, and I only recommend it as a last resort because it releases 3x as much estrogen as the pill, making you about 3x more likely to experience blood clots. The pill is probably the most all around fitting for everyone but I often think about switching to an IUD.


----------



## carlaviii

wiarumas said:


> What was the most you paid for a haircut (or styling or whatever it's called)?


$30? $40? I hate paying for something I could do myself -- I'm a strictly wash-and-wear type.


----------



## Schweeeeks

wiarumas said:


> What was the most you paid for a haircut (or styling or whatever it's called)?
> 
> Then, was it worth it?


$45.
Yes. I love my hair and I want someone that will cut it right.
The months of waiting for my hair to grow back are far more expensive than paying up front.


----------



## snowbell

What is it that makes women's hair wispy? Like, where the strands kind of separate from the main body of hair and kind of show on their own but stay near the main body of hair?

It's kind of similar to what it looks like after being blow-dried?


----------



## Hypaspist

- rescinded -


----------



## carlaviii

snowbell said:


> What is it that makes women's hair wispy? Like, where the strands kind of separate from the main body of hair and kind of show on their own but stay near the main body of hair?


Dryness? Not using styling products? (shrugs) Mine wisps all the time, but I never blow-dry because my hair has enough problems already.


----------



## snowbell

carlaviii said:


> Dryness? Not using styling products? (shrugs) Mine wisps all the time, but I never blow-dry because my hair has enough problems already.


Dryness??? Could it really have been that simple??? 

Thank you SO MUCH! Are the wisps annoying?


----------



## carlaviii

snowbell said:


> Dryness??? Could it really have been that simple???
> Thank you SO MUCH! Are the wisps annoying?


Well, a bit. You go through the work of braiding your hair and it starts wisping instantly... close-up it looks a little untidy.


----------



## qingdom

On a scale of 0 to 10, where 10 is you do it all yourself and 0 where you find someone else to do it for you just because you have no experience / other option / curiosity / will to tackle the problem yourself.

where do you find yourself in the following areas:

- home repair (basic) - faucet leak, clogged toilet
- home repair (intermediate) - fixing garage door malfunctions, adding another room extension to the house
- home repair (advanced) - fixing central air unit, refrigerator compressor, circuit breaker, running electrical line extension
- car problems (basic) - tire rotation
- car problems (basic) - checking and topping vehicular fluids for minimal levels (washer, engine oil, battery life; besides fuel tank)
- car problems (intermediate) - aesthetic mods
- car problems (advanced) - engine mods, performance mods
- computer problems (basic) - file backup
- computer problems (intermediate) - virus / malware / spyware removal
- computer problems (advanced) - hardware swap, operating system install



So basically, I'm listing items where I have observed most women would ask a professional to do. Usually, those professionals turn out to be men. But then I ask them if they would want to learn. They ponder on the offer, but hardly ever get back to me either because 1) they don't have the patience, 2) they don't have the time, or 3) fear they might break something. And if they do, there's no follow up with additional learning or questions. 

The impression I get is they feel they learned enough about the subject and that's already too much for them to want to stay and learn, such that there's more interesting things they could be doing with their time than learning / dealing with such stuff rather to leave it for the pros to take care of... cuz that's why they're there and get paid for.

What's your take on this one? Personal experiences and stories appreciated.


----------



## LadyO.W.BernieBro

l'm not mechanically inclined _at all _but have never viewed computers or video games that way...l do notice some people who are exceedingly skilled in ''hard mechanics'' if you will fail to grasp software related endeavors.

So...pretty much 0 for everything you listed besides the clogged toilet, and 10 for most of those computer related issues.


----------



## LadyO.W.BernieBro

snowbell said:


> What is it that makes women's hair wispy? Like, where the strands kind of separate from the main body of hair and kind of show on their own but stay near the main body of hair?
> 
> It's kind of similar to what it looks like after being blow-dried?


lol. er, yeah l would say dryness.


----------



## Jennywocky

@_qingdom_;3863001

*- home repair (basic) - faucet leak, clogged toilet* 6

*- home repair (intermediate) - fixing garage door malfunctions, adding another room extension to the house *6 (I actually did a bunch of rewiring in our first home after we got married, including installing a three-way switch. I don't remember much now, but I'm sure I could figure it out again. But it was kind of boring once I understand how to make the connections, the actual work is just boring.)

*- home repair (advanced) - fixing central air unit, refrigerator compressor, circuit breaker, running electrical line extension*
4 ... I can do the electrical line extension and add a circuit breaker, but have no idea about the other things.

*- car problems (basic) - tire rotation* 5... I could figure it out and, but why would I do it if I can pay someone else?

*- car problems (basic) - checking and topping vehicular fluids for minimal levels (washer, engine oil, battery life; besides fuel tank)*
8

*- car problems (intermediate) - aesthetic mods*
What? I guess a 0 or a 1, I have no idea what mods to do.

*- car problems (advanced) - engine mods, performance mods*
LOL. 0

*- computer problems (basic) - file backup*
10

*- computer problems (intermediate) - virus / malware / spyware removal*
10

*- computer problems (advanced) - hardware swap, operating system install* 10 

(For starters, I was assembling my own do-it-yourself systems back in the early 90's. It's actually easier now, with many more plug-and-play devices and compabilities in place.) But I also work in tech, deal with code, and solve production issues in our live systems.




> So basically, I'm listing items where I have observed most women would ask a professional to do. Usually, those professionals turn out to be men. But then I ask them if they would want to learn. They ponder on the offer, but hardly ever get back to me either because 1) they don't have the patience, 2) they don't have the time, or 3) fear they might break something. And if they do, there's no follow up with additional learning or questions.


I'm a little scared to break something. On occasion I have broken things. (I even fried a $160 CPU before, because I missed a step. Sigh. Never made THAT mistake again!!!)

Most of this stuff, I will do if I want to save money and if I have the time, but I don't really enjoy it. I had to change my own tire once along a highway on-ramp because it went flat. I did it, but it was nasty because the garage apparently had tightened the lugnuts with the power socket instead of by hand, and because stupidly I jacked up the car before loosening the nuts, and it was a tedious mini-jack that took me a good 15 minutes to lift the car and exhausting my wrist so I didn't really want to try to lower and raise it again. I had to literally lean into it and throw myself at the wrench to get the lugnuts to loosen. It was hot, I was sweaty and covered with grime after the 30 minutes it took, and I just don't see the point in doing it unless I need to, if someone else is willing. [I also was really hoping some guy would take pity on me, looking so pathetic  but no one coming up the on ramp stopped to help. Meh.]

I have also changed my own oil years back, a number of times, but it's the same thing -- if I can get someone at Jiffy Lube to change it for $15-20, and the filter and oil cost me $12 or so at least anyway, well, heck... I'm not that strapped for cash that I need to do it by myself.



> The impression I get is they feel they learned enough about the subject and that's already too much for them to want to stay and learn, such that there's more interesting things they could be doing with their time than learning / dealing with such stuff rather to leave it for the pros to take care of... cuz that's why they're there and get paid for.


That's how I feel. Computers are a little different, because I have always felt empowered by understanding computer tech in a way that mechanical and electric work does not leave me feeling. And it doesn't get me all gross and disgusting either. I don't mind sweat so much, but grime and dirt annoy me.


----------



## Hoff

Snakecharmer said:


> Because someone might lose an eye if I don't.


Best way to lose an eye.


----------



## Wellsy

What have your life experiences taught in terms of: Work vs play, relationships, managing day to day upkeep.
With maturity do you think you've garnered a mental resilience to stressful events?
Is it a problem if your partner is completely independent of you in how they live?
When was one of the happiest moments in life experienced excluding giving birth?


----------



## Bloodbraid

What do you think about having sex on your period? Do you do it? If not then why?


----------



## qingdom

Is complimenting a woman on her looks mandatory and required without her asking regardless if on dates, simple meet up, and/or random encounter?

I mean, beyond physical features, there are qualities that makes a person genuine, unique, beautiful, and attractive. 

To confirm and verify physical allure based on her own personal effort and time used to apply make up, pick out an outfit, matching clutch/purse, is all fine and dandy if it matters to a guy who cares about physical outer looks.

But to attempt to explain to a woman from a guy who doesn't care much about physical outer looks who wants to convey the attraction is to persona and the non-physical attributes, seems... i dunno... the woman doesn't want to hear or acknowledge any of that... in what? fear? denial?

Seems fake to give such a false answer... well... not false, not fake, not forced... but ... mmm... for a lack of a better description... let's use "expected"... 

So I've been reading all over that a woman wants to be told she's beautiful (physically) so that she can feel special... but why do women deny men who look past physical attraction during her "I wanna have fun stage" until it's too late and guy moves on or the woman drives the guy to move on until she shocks herself that she may have drove the wrong guy away AFTER the fact?

This falls pretty much on the human flaw of "telling them what they want to hear." (applies to both men and women) just so they can feel at ease.


Multi-question post here... didn't want to create a new thread. didn't know how to reword it to be any more simpler than how it is explained above. Thoughts and insights please? Thank you.


----------



## Jennywocky

qingdom said:


> Is complimenting a woman on her looks mandatory and required without her asking regardless if on dates, simple meet up, and/or random encounter?
> 
> I mean, beyond physical features, there are qualities that makes a person genuine, unique, beautiful, and attractive.
> 
> To confirm and verify physical allure based on her own personal effort and time used to apply make up, pick out an outfit, matching clutch/purse, is all fine and dandy if it matters to a guy who cares about physical outer looks.
> 
> But to attempt to explain to a woman from a guy who doesn't care much about physical outer looks who wants to convey the attraction is to persona and the non-physical attributes, seems... i dunno... the woman doesn't want to hear or acknowledge any of that... in what? fear? denial?
> 
> Seems fake to give such a false answer... well... not false, not fake, not forced... but ... mmm... for a lack of a better description... let's use "expected"...
> 
> So I've been reading all over that a woman wants to be told she's beautiful (physically) so that she can feel special... but why do women deny men who look past physical attraction during her "I wanna have fun stage" until it's too late and guy moves on or the woman drives the guy to move on until she shocks herself that she may have drove the wrong guy away AFTER the fact?
> 
> This falls pretty much on the human flaw of "telling them what they want to hear." (applies to both men and women) just so they can feel at ease.
> 
> 
> Multi-question post here... didn't want to create a new thread. didn't know how to reword it to be any more simpler than how it is explained above. Thoughts and insights please? Thank you.


I'm sorry, I still found it kind of confusing and am not sure what you are asking, unless you just mean, "Do women want to be told they are beautiful/attractive, regardless of their relationship to a guy, and seem indifferent to other forms of compliments? And then why do they change their minds later?"

It also seems like you're assuming a certain mentality based on your experience (?), but I'm not sure that your assumption is true. For me personally, for example, I only like compliments on my appearance based on context; you can pretty much be assured if you are a stranger sending me a "Hi, you have beautiful <body parts> or look pretty" note with no other content, I not only delete your note but I feel irked. I suppose it feels more positive if I know you have no other motive (like, just in passing) or if you are already someone I know and who I know knows me aside from my physical appearance. On a date, I care less about being told I'm pretty per se, I care more about how the date goes; I also assume I am attractive to him in some way, since he showed up.

However, some women seem to be different, and it's based on personality style, not gender. it's the same as having expectations for men paying for the date or holding up a door for the woman, to me. For some people, that is comfortable; for some, it means little either way; for some, it's annoying. It also sounds like you are talking about younger women in the "I wanna have fun" stage. I would chalk that up as more probably a form of immaturity, of wanting to have your cake and eat it too. People are still learning about what they want, what they like, what they need. Feelings might still be confusing long-term. You make mistakes and don't realize what you had until it's gone.

I mean, if I go on a date, it's affirming to hear I'm pretty in terms of how I can get down on myself for not looking that way I'd like. If I'm into him, I appreciate knowing that he is attracted to me when he looks at me, but I would also hope (since looks are so variable especially over time) that he likes me for something deeper. That might seem contradictory with what i said earlier. But it just tells you how muddled it can get.

The question here sounds like it has some personal relevance for you -- as in, it's happened to you before. If so, I'm sorry.


----------



## carlaviii

Wellsy said:


> What have your life experiences taught in terms of: Work vs play, relationships, managing day to day upkeep.
> With maturity do you think you've garnered a mental resilience to stressful events?
> Is it a problem if your partner is completely independent of you in how they live?
> When was one of the happiest moments in life experienced excluding giving birth?


1. urf, that's a huge topic. Play is a vital part of life. Relationships are more important than money, but they don't pay the bills. Daily upkeep is less of a hassle than letting it go and having a disaster later on. 
2. Yes. Surviving stressful events puts things into perspective very efficiently. 
3. There are too many variables involved to really answer that, I think. I'd think it could become... expensive? How independent are we talking here?
4. There've been a few instances where complete, total strangers have told me they loved my book and were looking forward to the next one. The joy/euphoria/gratitude from that was amazing.


----------



## carlaviii

Bloodbraid said:


> What do you think about having sex on your period? Do you do it? If not then why?


Why not? It's messy, obviously. If I'm crampy or feeling bloated I'm generally not in the mood for sex. But that clears up, for me, after a day or two and then if we're both up for it, sure. I've done it a few times.


----------



## Bloodbraid

carlaviii said:


> Why not? It's messy, obviously. If I'm crampy or feeling bloated I'm generally not in the mood for sex. But that clears up, for me, after a day or two and then if we're both up for it, sure. I've done it a few times.


My girlfriend has the libido of a 14 year old boy soooooooo yeah.


----------



## Wellsy

carlaviii said:


> 3. There are too many variables involved to really answer that, I think. I'd think it could become... expensive? How independent are we talking here?


hahah I'm good at asking very open ending and ambiguous questions.
I'm thinking live together, but there's more of a focus on doing what each wants with their own time than working as a team to spend time together. May come together at times but for the most part it's a relationship with almost half of free time spent away from one another.


----------



## TWN

Bloodbraid said:


> What do you think about having sex on your period? Do you do it? If not then why?




I am currently bleeding out like an animal, so I feel especially qualified.

Today I took off my undies, removed the pad and was greeted with what looked like human flesh. It was not blood; it was the lining of my sugar walls.

Little pieces of thick, pink flesh just sloshing around in my vagina.

That's why.

Because not matter how many periods we have, most females will never get used to how their body disposes of the unused portion of their internal "lady bits".


----------



## Bloodbraid

TWN said:


> I am currently bleeding out like an animal, so I feel especially qualified.
> 
> Today I took off my undies, removed the pad and was greeted with what looked like human flesh. It was not blood; it was the lining of my sugar walls.
> 
> Little pieces of thick, pink flesh just sloshing around in my vagina.
> 
> That's why.
> 
> Because not matter how many periods we have, most females will never get used to how their body disposes of the unused portion of their internal "lady bits".


Mmmmmmmm...fetus food. Tasty.


----------



## carlaviii

Wellsy said:


> hahah I'm good at asking very open ending and ambiguous questions.
> I'm thinking live together, but there's more of a focus on doing what each wants with their own time than working as a team to spend time together. May come together at times but for the most part it's a relationship with almost half of free time spent away from one another.


It could work. It would be tough to maintain a sense of connection, over time, since you're staying apart on top of the work and commute separation. Maybe texting and phone calls can maintain that, nowadays.


----------



## Jerzy Urban

Odyssey said:


> If youre in a boyfriend girlfriend relationship, as a young adult, teenager would you ever consider and think about different men ? Be honest ! ^^


Bump bump.


----------



## Peripheral

Bloodbraid said:


> My girlfriend has the libido of a 14 year old boy soooooooo yeah.


Nice problem to have.


----------



## Bloodbraid

Peripheral said:


> Nice problem to have.


It is a source of never ending comedic value. The funny part is that we essentially reverse gender roles because she is always horny and I'm always too tired. I laugh at my own feminine traits hahaha


----------



## carlaviii

Odyssey said:


> If youre in a boyfriend girlfriend relationship, as a young adult, teenager would you ever consider and think about different men ? Be honest ! ^^


Back when I was a college student, yes, I did cheat on one boyfriend.


----------



## Murky Muse

Odyssey said:


> If youre in a boyfriend girlfriend relationship, as a young adult, teenager would you ever consider and think about different men ? Be honest ! ^^


No. Not only is it against my personal moral code, but I find it difficult to be strongly attracted to more than one person at once. I mean, I could look at a guy that's not my boyfriend and think "oh, he's handsome/cute/whatever" but there's no real attraction.


----------



## wiarumas

Can a man's orgasm be sexy? (His O face, noises, maybe the location or how he comes, etc)


----------



## milti

wiarumas said:


> Can a man's orgasm be sexy? (His O face, noises, maybe the location or how he comes, etc)


It's sexy for me to have his sweat drip onto me. 
No, I'm serious. _I _made him sweat. _I _made his breathing quicken. _I _made his pulse race. And that to me is confirmation enough that he enjoyed it immensely. :wink:


----------



## milti

TWN said:


> I am currently bleeding out like an animal, so I feel especially qualified.
> 
> Today I took off my undies, removed the pad and was greeted with what looked like human flesh. It was not blood; it was the lining of my sugar walls.
> 
> Little pieces of thick, pink flesh just sloshing around in my vagina.
> 
> That's why.
> 
> Because not matter how many periods we have, most females will never get used to how their body disposes of the unused portion of their internal "lady bits".


Okay, you're brave, because the first time that happened to me, I locked myself in the bathroom for a while and sobbed in absolute panic. It only happened once - after a prolonged non-period time (freaks me out because I'm regular like clockwork) - and I thought my body was turning inside out and miscarrying a baby I hadn't even made lol (I wasn't sexually active for the previous 6 months, but hey stranger things have happened :tongue: )

ANYWAY, in answer to the original question: Sex on your period? Well, yes, I would, and I have. But not if it's extremely heavy or painful because no, I just feel so non-sexy the first few days.


----------



## carlaviii

wiarumas said:


> Can a man's orgasm be sexy? (His O face, noises, maybe the location or how he comes, etc)


Good God, yes. The rough moans, hissed breaths, feeling him grind deep and throb inside me -- it can put me right over the edge.


----------



## Imverypunny

Are male colognes actually attractive to you?

If so,what scents?

....Ladies I know you know my intentions.


----------



## Jennywocky

carlaviii said:


> Good God, yes. The rough moans, hissed breaths, feeling him grind deep and throb inside me -- it can put me right over the edge.


ROFL.... I almost went over the edge just reading this, without even having to do it.


----------



## carlaviii

Jennywocky said:


> ROFL.... I almost went over the edge just reading this, without even having to do it.


LOL. Why am I wasting my time with F/SF, I ought to be writing erotica... :laughing:


----------



## Jennywocky

carlaviii said:


> LOL. Why am I wasting my time with F/SF, I ought to be writing erotica... :laughing:


Or f/sf erotica!

Edit: just none of that furry smut.


----------



## DemonD

There's 200 pages, so these may been brought up in some form. 

Regarding orgasms, what is the ratio of importance between clitorical and vaginal stimuli?

Can you get horny without lubricating?

Do you sense a change in libido depending on "cycle-stage"?

Is it accurate that women are more aroused by emotional stimuli than visual(which ofc is go to for most men)?

Do you believe in the G-spot?


----------



## carlaviii

DemonD said:


> There's 200 pages, so these may been brought up in some form.
> 
> Regarding orgasms, what is the ratio of importance between clitorical and vaginal stimuli?
> 
> Can you get horny without lubricating?
> 
> Do you sense a change in libido depending on "cycle-stage"?
> 
> Is it accurate that women are more aroused by emotional stimuli than visual(which ofc is go to for most men)?
> 
> Do you believe in the G-spot?


1. If we knew that, we'd all be rich. 
2. I have, but that's not a good thing.
3. When I'm ovulating, I'm ridiculously horny. 
4. In general, yes. Visual stimuli are still much appreciated, though.
5. Yes, as it seems I have one. It's entirely possible that not all women do.


----------



## DemonD

Is waxing(any part) really worth it?

I can't really imagine thinking "Ugh, so much hair..._*I should rip it all out from the roots!*_"


----------



## Jennywocky

DemonD said:


> Is waxing(any part) really worth it?
> 
> I can't really imagine thinking "Ugh, so much hair..._*I should rip it all out from the roots!*_"


It's painful, but it gets rid of even the wispy light hairs (that would otherwise not be removed) for about 6-8 weeks, so yes -- no maintenance. 

Also female hair is thinner and not as coarse as male hair overall (hair thickness and density is impacted by hormones) and even the density is less across the body, so it's not like what happened to Steve Carell in The 40 Year Old Virgin.

Also worth it on the browlines, for the same reasons... but you have to really trust the person doing it.


----------



## RetroVortex

Is it really that easy for you women? XD
(Just like, in general!)


----------



## carlaviii

RetroVortex said:


> Is it really that easy for you women? XD
> (Just like, in general!)


AHAHAHAHAHA... (smack your ass) Get me a beer, you silly thing. And a sammich.


----------



## HouseOfFlux

Will you swing my way babeh?


----------



## RetroVortex

carlaviii said:


> AHAHAHAHAHA... (smack your ass) Get me a beer, you silly thing. And a sammich.


I guess that answers my question.


----------



## carlaviii

RetroVortex said:


> I guess that answers my question.


Phew! (lol)


----------



## Bloodbraid

Jennywocky said:


> It's painful, but it gets rid of even the wispy light hairs (that would otherwise not be removed) for about 6-8 weeks, so yes -- no maintenance.
> 
> Also female hair is thinner and not as coarse as male hair overall (hair thickness and density is impacted by hormones) and even the density is less across the body, so *it's not like what happened to Steve Carell in The 40 Year Old Virgin*.
> 
> Also worth it on the browlines, for the same reasons... but you have to really trust the person doing it.


I would like to disagree here. I remember screaming a lot. I'm pretty sure my roommate thinks that my girlfriend and I are into BDSM because I was screaming so much.

Its like getting shot with paintballs. It hurts enough to MAKE SURE you know you were hit but not so bad that you would not want to do it again.

I think the thickness of male and female hair might be a difference that might be important in the pain factor.


----------



## dragthewaters

How do I approach women and get them to want to be friends with me? (I'm a girl, btw) I haven't made any new female friends since high school and I really need to start learning how to do this since most of my friends moved away.


----------



## Jennywocky

Bloodbraid said:


> I would like to disagree here. I remember screaming a lot. I'm pretty sure my roommate thinks that my girlfriend and I are into BDSM because I was screaming so much.


of course it did. You're a guy. Steve Carell is a guy.

I was referring to women with my post -- this is the "Ask a woman" thread. I was not referring to guys.

If you're a guy, it's likely to hurt more due to the density of the hair field and the thickness of the hairs themselves, as you went on to say. Even try waxing your beard? Don't. Besides it probably not working, you'll damage your face AND it will hurt like hell.



thismustbetheplace said:


> How do I approach women and get them to want to be friends with me? (I'm a girl, btw) I haven't made any new female friends since high school and I really need to start learning how to do this since most of my friends moved away.


I guess the easiest ways I can think of:
1. Neighbors.
2. Coworkers.
3. Shared interests

i.e., it's common for women to say hello to their neighbors, give them a gift, etc. If you gel, you can keep talking.

Coworkers can be similar -- asking to eat lunch together, hanging out on breaks, doing happy hour, etc.

For shared interests, you can ask around, look on bulletin boards, go on meetup dot com, and trying to find groups you can join in your local area doing things you enjoy, and hopefully you'd meet other women who you like and who like you.

A fourth option, if you're religious -- start visiting churches (or whatever type of gathering your faith involves) and talk to people there. Religious groups typically try to foster relationships in the group.


----------



## qingdom

How to recognize or find out whether a woman cares about their biological clock or not? "Does not care" is the preferred scenario; i.e. prefer not to have children or indifferrent / don't care much to look forward to children... all without asking straight forward to inadvertently insult them or put them on a spot. And how to know whether they're lying or not?


----------



## petite libellule

A glimpse of some of the questions I had on the car ride home this evening w/ my INFP friend. enjoy! :tongue:

1. would you rather date that famous black midget guy from comedies (I forgot his name ) 
or, that insanely tall dude who does motivational speeches?

2. would you rather be in a relationship with a man who liked his toes sucked on, or who hated head ?

3. would you rather date a manager of walgreens, or a gas station cashier ?

4. would you rather run off to nigeria and elope, or mail order a husband from china ?

5. would you rather have your boyfriend have a nipple on his elbow, or have a third nut ?

6. would you rather marry a man who ate nothing but garlic bulbs all day every day, 
or who smelled and tasted of curry 24/7 ?

7. would you rather have a dude with a foot fetish, or a guy who liked to have his nipples electrocuted ?


note: SO NOT MEANT TO BE OFFENSIVE! *I'm sorry if it is for some people*


----------



## PeterPan

Do you sometimes think when you see a guy: "I need to get fucked by him!"? I've always wondered if women have the same kind of sexual thoughts when they see someone attractive.


----------



## Jennywocky

Sadly, I don't really know.

And while I seem to naturally go for guys who seem happy in their own skin and kind of position themselves as more male to my female, I tend to view my partner as more similar to me than different. Aside from the basic gender difference, in the specifics I just see men as people.

I don't know. Maybe it would explain why I'm not interested in most guys or why I am not in a relationship. Maybe there is something I'm not understanding. Not sure.


----------



## Aenye

android654 said:


> What do you think men want from women? From themselves? From life?
> 
> Before you answer, know that I'm curious about your actual opinions, not claims of men's individuality, which is applicable but no good for wide ranging questions such as these.


Sex, pleasure and to spread their genes.


Interesting cat, btw.


----------



## Accidie

android654 said:


> What do you think men want from women? From themselves? From life?
> 
> Before you answer, know that I'm curious about your actual opinions, not claims of men's individuality, which is applicable but no good for wide ranging questions such as these.


A replica of their mother, or who they wish their mother had been like, + sex. To be successful, in whatever way they define success. A chance to leave their mark, like dogs on trees.


----------



## Wellsy

When raising kids what expectations or misconceptions were broken down by the experience?
What's your approach to raising kids? 
Do you have moments of doubt to whether you could've been a better parent?
Do you have moments when you celebrate internally about how good a parent you are?


----------



## Christie42476

Wellsy said:


> When raising kids what expectations or misconceptions were broken down by the experience?
> What's your approach to raising kids?


I tried to go into it with as few expectations as possible - because that could lead to biases and a sort of "blindness" that I feared would sabotage my parenting - and this attitude prevented misconceptions.

My approach was that they are individuals, wholly separate from me, and my job was to learn who they are, what thay need and want, and then tailor my parenting accordingly. I'm not their owner or the "master template" for who they are and should be...I'm just their guide until they're mature enough to find their own way in this world. My job was to equip them, not mold them.



Wellsy said:


> Do you have moments of doubt to whether you could've been a better parent?


Of course. You can never be perfect, which means you can always do better. How can you learn from and improve upon your mistakes if you won't even entertain the possibility that you've made them?



Wellsy said:


> Do you have moments when you celebrate internally about how good a parent you are?


No. I do have moments when I internally celebrate how well my kids are turning out, though. But since I don't believe children come into the world as blank slates and I do believe that much of who and what you are is the product of your own choices, I take very little personal credit for that. I'd like to think that my support and guidance makes it easier for them to make good choices, but the ultimate credit for them doing so goes to them.


----------



## Bago

android654 said:


> What do you think men want from women? From themselves? From life?
> 
> Before you answer, know that I'm curious about your actual opinions, not claims of men's individuality, which is applicable but no good for wide ranging questions such as these.


Good question. 

It is one of those things that you think about, regardless of whether you are a man or a woman. To me, I knew that I was brought up a certain way, and I knew that I was seen more of a baby machine than anything. I also knew that, the guy does not necessarily love me in a deeply soulful way. (My ex was an example, and he was Chinese, and I felt so horrible, cos there was pressure from his parents that we will marry and I will give them a son. To him, he was delighted that I ticked all his boxes. Educated good girl, no drugs, no past bad history etc. I really rejected this, and I realised that they did not care for me so. They "wanted" something, and is going to get it.) To me, I knew he was not a Man. He was a child, and he was also a boy. 

But saying this, I came to realise that, this isn't the case, as I am muddling through life, other guys are also the same too. It just means that men and women want to settle down and have somebody whom they can care by, and cared by, and enjoy life's experiences together. It is better if you are not pushy either way. i.e. the guy should never pressurise the girl, and nor should the girl pressurise the guy too. It should be equal. If it's equal, then that is when you become a man and a woman!  

Some men or women want to challenge themselves, in order to get a mate. Whether it is to preen oneself in the most beautiful way, or if they achieve this by what they do as a job, a career. Both do need love. To me, I have come to realise that "No Man, (or woman) is an island." I really really believe this now.


----------



## Christie42476

android654 said:


> What do you think men want from women? From themselves? From life?
> 
> Before you answer, know that I'm curious about your actual opinions, not claims of men's individuality, which is applicable but no good for wide ranging questions such as these.


From women (for those who are attracted to women): 

* Someone they can talk to/do things with without getting bored. A healthy, fulfilling bond.
* Quality sex with the desired frequency, which varies from man to man. Minimal sexual rejection.
* Understanding, acceptance, and respect for who they are as men AND for their boundaries.
* A partner, however they define that, rather than someone who's a drain, hindrance, or trial.

From/for themselves:

* Fulfillment of their needs, whatever those might be. 
* Healthy, rewarding relationships, be they platonic, professional, familial, and/or romantic. Needs there vary.
* Success as they define it...to make some kind of impact in their chosen endeavors and to grow/become wiser from their efforts.

From life:

* Satisfaction: of their needs, from their accomplishments, with who they are as men.


----------



## monemi

Bago said:


> It is one of those things that you think about, regardless of whether you are a man or a woman.


This isn't of the things I think about at all. I'll ask: what do you want ___________. But men in general? No. It's not relevant to me.


----------



## monemi

Christie42476 said:


> *"lol so you don't like me huh?"*
> 
> _*Womanese: *_ "Thats mean lol." => _*English: *_ *Oh, frick, he just put me on the spot and I have no idea what to say but he's expecting a response of some kind, so I have to text back _something_. Feeling a teensy bit pressured, which makes me feel nervous and maybe a bit uncomfortable.
> 
> Either (a): I don't like him but I don't want to hurt his feelings OR
> 
> (b): I'm not sure if I like him (or how much) so I don't want to be locked into anything yet, but I don't want to alienate him, either OR
> 
> (c): I like him but I'm not ready for him to know it yet because he's way more confident than I am and it's intimidating and makes me feel all awkward and tongue-tied, and I'm not sure if he's just out to bone me or if he really actually likes me.
> _
> I'll just text something ambiguous that sounds like banter so he'll hopefully drop it._*
> 
> *"lol how's that mean?"*
> _
> *Womanese: *_*silence* _*=> English: **_Damn, he didn't drop it. Now, I feel even more pressured and have zero idea how to respond without (a) hurting his feelings OR (b) committing myself prematurely/alienating him and losing any chance with him OR (c) putting myself out there and getting rejected or used and then discarded and ultimately humiliated. I just want this thread of the conversation to be over.*
> 
> /end translation
> 
> Based on the information at hand, that's my read on her reaction and possible reasons. Odds are good that you're more confident than she is, so unless you're open and direct about your intentions, you're probably not going to get a straightforward reaction from her, for good or for ill. It's not necessarily game-playing, as in deliberate behavior. It seems more "self-protective in the face of uncertainty" to me. Just my take on it.
> 
> Good luck!



I'd say this is a very accurate translation.

Actually, I'd say in most cases, when dating women usually have a defensive way of dealing with things. I don't see very many women "playing" men.


----------



## JoetheBull

what chances does a 31 year old man with no career(has a fulll time job and goes to school) or career plan, have with dating? Note also no experience with dating or relationships.


----------



## Jennywocky

JoetheBull said:


> what chances does a 31 year old man with no career(has a fulll time job and goes to school) or career plan, have with dating? Note also no experience with dating or relationships.


ROFL! That was very direct and honest.

Well... depends on the woman, and it depends on your chemistry with her, I guess.

As far as I go, here are the concerns:

1. If you haven't dated much, not a big deal. A little concerned, though, if you're 31 and have had no relationships to speak of. Why, exactly? The level of concern depends on the answer to that question. If you have decent reasons, then it's just a matter of you not having experience in the ups and downs of a relationship, so I'd just be kind of wary that you might overreact to things that people with more relational experience might take in stride.

2. Have you lived with your parents the entire time? Not a plus, if you answer yes. If not, where do you live and how do you pay for it without a full-time job?

3. Have you ever had a career, or jobs? Why have you spent so much time in school? what is your goal / purpose with all the education and not yet entering the work force? Again, my level of concern would be based on the answers to those questions. I'd be concerned about the total debt you might have accrued over that time, especially if you have no plans by which to pay it off once you have decided you're done with schooling. I'd also have to determine whether I'd be expected to be the income-provider full-time if we would become a thing and you would be depending on my salary; it reduces my flexibility and determines what we can do together.

Those are the kinds of questions I'd ask if I had the opportunity to date someone in your situation. It's not necessarily a death knell to any relationship, but there are concerns that need to be explored and addressed -- you could potentially be a big risk for a woman.


----------



## carlaviii

JoetheBull said:


> what chances does a 31 year old man with no career(has a fulll time job and goes to school) or career plan, have with dating? Note also no experience with dating or relationships.


Yeah, that's a tough one. If you have no career plan, what are you in school for?


----------



## Bago

JoetheBull said:


> what chances does a 31 year old man with no career(has a fulll time job and goes to school) or career plan, have with dating? Note also no experience with dating or relationships.


Then you got to find somebody who is in a similar situation as yourself and make promise to one another and help one another grow and build a future together? How can anybody ever be together? Think about the poor countries, people still hook up. Not everybody chooses somebody to use them. SOME people STILL have loyalty and that they still want somebody that treats them well and see each other and support one another. It doesn't matter when.. just do not forget to add time to the relationship, which is the important thing I think. Especially since from what you say, your plate seems rather full. You have to make some sacrifices somewhere. That was one of my own regret, cos someone adviced me this and I did not listen to them cos I did not know how to juggle it... and now when I took timeout to reflect on things, they were right. I should've fought harder for my relationships, which I did not. 

I would start to go out on casual dates, or start to befriend people that you see on a daily basis and see if it develops more. i.e. coffee shops, or people in your school... You may or may not like them too. But at least understand whether the connection was a good one or not, and then understand yourself more, cos then you will know if that person is right for you or not. You do not necessarily need to be in a relationship to learn to know what you like and dislike too.


----------



## JoetheBull

carlaviii said:


> Yeah, that's a tough one. If you have no career plan, what are you in school for?


I mainly in school to help keep my sanity and to force myself to be around people since I work midnight shifts, it kind of takes it tolls on possible social life. 

Currently though I am going to school to take classes in drawing to try to get my drawing skills up so I can possible draw comics/graphic novels I have thought up over the years and have been frustrated that I can't even attempt to do anything with them. I don't consider this a career plan because a career will most likely not come from this. My skills and experience is too little to actually create anything good imo. 

I have thought about trying to get my drawing skills high enough to go into animation but I doubt I even have a chance. Even if I did from what I hear the pay and the very little spare time makes dating seem impossible.

Any career idea or goal I some times want to try seems like you should be preparing for back in middle school or earlier and should just ignore dating/relationships and get used to the ideal I will never experience these things. 

Thank you jennywocky, carlviii, and bago.


----------



## carlaviii

JoetheBull said:


> Any career idea or goal I some times want to try seems like you should be preparing for back in middle school or earlier and should just ignore dating/relationships and get used to the ideal I will never experience these things.


It's never too late to start a new career -- if anything, it's becoming more common to switch careers at least once in your life. I'm doing it now and I'm 42. 

If you love art, pursue it. Whether it brings you money or not. 

As for whether you'll be able to have relationships -- you will. It's good to not obsess over finding them, but don't write them off as a lost cause. They will turn up when they turn up.


----------



## loving2011

Snake charmer-Do you get jealous of other women? Do you think all women are innately jealous, even of their female friends?


----------



## drmiller100

why do women return to men who have beat them?


----------



## Accidie

drmiller100 said:


> why do women return to men who have beat them?


There are many reasons. You can read most of them off the first results page of a Google search. But, Google can not understand it for you.

I've heard this question a lot. And that's the vibe I get. That if you understood the insidious nature of power and control, you wouldn't need to ask the question. Because the answers are not likely to make sense to you unless you've actually been trapped in that hell.

I think, what's most important here, is that if you know someone in this situation, the solution begins and ends with them. There is nothing you can do for them if they're not willing to sacrifice everything to start over anew.

That's how it was for me after I left for the final time. It was like being born again, like learning to walk again, learning to talk again. If you had asked me what my interests were, I couldn't tell you because my entire identity had been tied to him. Abusers do that. They do everything in their power to cut you off from the world outside of them.

I was lucky to have family to take me in, because I started over with nothing. Worse than nothing. He'd ruined my credit, ruined my rental history. Done his damndest to ruin my self-worth. I'd been unable to keep a job or go to school while I was with him, so I was years behind all my peers. 

It was not easy. I still have not recovered from it, in many ways. Support, but never judge.


----------



## drmiller100

thank you @Accidie. Let me try another question. What can i do to help the woman in leaving?


----------



## finically

Snakecharmer said:


> We need this, right?
> 
> I'll put myself out there and say that not only am I a woman, but an "older" one...not sure about _wiser_, but experienced, sure.
> 
> Ask away!


Could you suggest something potentially inspirational, life-changing, motivating etc. (a book, a story from your life, a song, etc.) for a 20-y-old college student who had to take a semester off from college and is experiencing demotivation and a difficult time at home, etc? You could even bring up something from your own life. Thank you!


----------



## Sina

@Naama

25; 125 pounds..about 55 kgs I think.


----------



## finically

Jennywocky said:


> ...it's hard to give advice without really knowing the context for what your family can expect if she refuses treatment and what type of role you play in the family / how you ended up in that role.


Thank you for your kind and thoughtful response. Mum has endometrial cancer, and part of the problem is that she refuses to talk about it, and share any information. I have no idea about the severity and prognosis, except that she probably requires a hysterectomy at this stage. Mum is in her early fifties, and does not want to have more children. 

I suspect that she has an extreme fear of surgery. My grandfather first lost a kidney from a botched surgery, contracted hepatitis from another, and then died from another one. Surgery also adversely affected my aunt and gave her hepatitis too.

Mum forbade me to tell my sister and aunt about her cancer (didn't listen to that). I might not have known either had I not pestered her after seeing her take days and weeks off work, lying in bed, clearly in extreme pain. She has to take a lot of painkillers to go to work. Initially we agreed that she would start treatment/get surgery back in June (she vaguely said that it was critical for her to get care by that date). It's almost Sep now.

My sister is never at home and is going through a phase of teenage rebellion, and my aunt is disabled and unemployed. Since mum is often sick, and brings work home (sometimes I help her complete her officework and do paperwork for her), I am helping to hold the fort down in the house. I took a semester off from college, but I have to go back in two weeks. This makes me even more worried about how my family is going to hold things together.

At this point, I am just so confused about how to get through to mum. She won't even tell me how she is or refuses to talk. The women in my family have a tendency to keep everything to themselves. My grandmother died at the age of 60 from a heart attack, and we never even knew that she was so ill.

All I know is that mum needs help. I know that she's rather superstitious and somewhat religious, but I also know that cancer doesn't heal through miracles and faith.


----------



## carlaviii

finically said:


> At this point, I am just so confused about how to get through to mum. She won't even tell me how she is or refuses to talk. The women in my family have a tendency to keep everything to themselves. My grandmother died at the age of 60 from a heart attack, and we never even knew that she was so ill.


(nodding) In my family, it's I'M FINE I'M FINE I'M -- _drops dead_. 

You've already tried logic and reason. Emotions can be a valid argument too. Bring up how traumatic it is for someone to abruptly drop dead. You're worried that you'll come home from college and find her. You want her to meet her grandchildren someday. 

And ultimately... you can't force her to seek treatment. One of my grandmothers was diagnosed with lymphoma and chose not to fight. I'll never know why, at this point, but it was her choice to make.


----------



## Jennywocky

finically said:


> Thank you for your kind and thoughtful response. Mum has endometrial cancer, and part of the problem is that she refuses to talk about it, and share any information. I have no idea about the severity and prognosis, except that she probably requires a hysterectomy at this stage. Mum is in her early fifties, and does not want to have more children.


I just looked at the Wiki, the first paragraph is here:


* *




*Endometrial cancer* refers to several types of malignancies that arise from the endometrium, or lining, of the uterus. Endometrial cancers are the most common gynecologic cancers in developed countries,[SUP][1][/SUP] with over 142,200 women diagnosed each year.[SUP][2][/SUP] The incidence is on a slow rise secondary to an increasing population age and an increasing body mass index, with 39% of cases attributed to obesity.[SUP][2][/SUP] The most common subtype, _endometrioid adenocarcinoma,_ typically occurs within a few decades of menopause, is associated with obesity, excessive estrogen exposure, often develops in the setting of endometrial hyperplasia, and presents most often with vaginal bleeding. Endometrial carcinoma is the third most common cause of gynecologic cancer death (behind ovarian and cervical cancer). A total abdominal hysterectomy (surgical removal of the uterus) with bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy is the most common therapeutic approach...

Endometrial cancer - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia




So yes, it looks like a total removal of the uterus is the typical approach.



> I suspect that she has an extreme fear of surgery. My grandfather first lost a kidney from a botched surgery, contracted hepatitis from another, and then died from another one. Surgery also adversely affected my aunt and gave her hepatitis too.


That makes sense; I could understand her concern after having suffered those losses. I have also had a few surgeries in my life; none were life-threatening or disabling, really, and I even had decent recoveries, but they were still tedious to deal with and a bit unnerving. One of my children is very emotional and reacts poorly to medical procedures. There is such a range of human response to these kinds of things.



> Mum forbade me to tell my sister and aunt about her cancer (didn't listen to that). I might not have known either had I not pestered her after seeing her take days and weeks off work, lying in bed, clearly in extreme pain. She has to take a lot of painkillers to go to work. Initially we agreed that she would start treatment/get surgery back in June (she vaguely said that it was critical for her to get care by that date). It's almost Sep now.


So it is pretty clear that she really just would rather suffer silently and hope for the best, rather than be more public about it (partly to avoid dragging others in and partly to continue to control her own life) and take potentially painful steps to resolve the problem.

My mom is also a silent sufferer, but she does go to the doctor on her own when she has issues.



> My sister is never at home and is going through a phase of teenage rebellion, and my aunt is disabled and unemployed. Since mum is often sick, and brings work home (sometimes I help her complete her officework and do paperwork for her), I am helping to hold the fort down in the house. I took a semester off from college, but I have to go back in two weeks. This makes me even more worried about how my family is going to hold things together.


I'm sorry. I mentioned before how it was unfair to you in some ways. I think you're showing a lot of commitment and love to your family putting your life on hold for awhile to hold things together; it's hard to know how to balance that, though, when the others are unable or won't invest the same amount. You have your life that you need to look after as well. Who took care of your aunt before your mom got sick? Do you all share a living space?



> At this point, I am just so confused about how to get through to mum. She won't even tell me how she is or refuses to talk. The women in my family have a tendency to keep everything to themselves. My grandmother died at the age of 60 from a heart attack, and we never even knew that she was so ill.


Have you been close in the past? It sounds like she trusts you to help her with work now, but it also sounds like you might not have been emotionally close in the past and been able to share openly about feelings and things.

My father is very closed off in a similar way and is beyond communication (he's 70 and in terrible health and isolated from me). But he never talks about his issues, health included; his father died of a second heart attack at 69, his mom died on his birthday in her 50's when he was 33 or so. he never got over it. I get the idea that he was devastated, but he never could share his feelings. he just seems very scared too, like your mom -- and what comes across is that they feel if they don't actually talk about it, then things might turn out okay, but talking about it is what makes it real. (he also has trouble dealing with change.) Unfortunately, running from it ensures that their health will deteriorate.



> All I know is that mum needs help. I know that she's rather superstitious and somewhat religious, but I also know that cancer doesn't heal through miracles and faith.


Is it possible for you to tell her any of what you said here? And how you're worried about her, and what her loss might mean to you and the rest of the family? And maybe talk about how she might feel afraid/hurt because of what happened in her family already?



carlaviii said:


> (nodding) In my family, it's I'M FINE I'M FINE I'M -- _drops dead_.
> 
> You've already tried logic and reason. Emotions can be a valid argument too. Bring up how traumatic it is for someone to abruptly drop dead. You're worried that you'll come home from college and find her. You want her to meet her grandchildren someday.
> 
> And ultimately... you can't force her to seek treatment. One of my grandmothers was diagnosed with lymphoma and chose not to fight. I'll never know why, at this point, but it was her choice to make.


I agree with that, in the end no one can force anyone to do anything. We can just give each other reasons to live, but we can't take responsibility for someone else's choice to give up or not get treated.

With my dad, it all just seems like a terrible, pointless waste; but there is no way anyone can save him, if he does not save himself.


----------



## Kingpin

What do you like in a man and what don't you like ??? Relationship wise I mean


----------



## Sina

Kingpin said:


> What do you like in a man and what don't you like ??? Relationship wise I mean


*Like*

1. Passion
2. Integrity, compatible values
3. Great sense of humour
4. Ambition, drive and persistence
5. Sensitivity 
6. Acceptance and Chemistry (not just physical)
7. Emotional maturity
8. Reciprocity; putting effort into the relationship consistently
9. A difficult past that he has come to terms with
10. Political compatibility
11. Compatible Life Goals
12. Directness and assertiveness
13. Adventurousness
14. Size and sex positivity

*
Dislike:*

1. Passive aggression, guilt trippy cowardly garbage
2. Abusiveness and Disrespect in general
3. Fiscal irresponsibility, lacking direction in life
4. Insecurity, jealousy
5. Passiveness, OTT displays of aggression that are clear overcompensation. 
6. Moodiness and emotional instability; Immaturity
7. Constant breaks in connection/intensity; not setting time aside for the relationship (I am busy as fuck and very successful, and if I can do it, your ass better reciprocate)
8. Poor communication skills, conflict avoidance, rigid adherence to shit like gender roles


----------



## Bago

CaptSwan said:


> I have a question. How much impact does a religious upbring have on a woman's sexuality? I'm curious because, I've seen women, friends of mine; who've had a religious upbringing and seem to have some problems reconciling their sexuality with their beliefs; so, I want to know if these are isolated incidents or a more general situation.
> 
> To those who choose to answer, feel free to share as much as you feel comfortable sharing, and; thanks in advance for the answer. Have a great day.


I do not quite understand the question entirely. I presume you mean how much does religion affect someone's behaviour and so forth ? I am an INFP by the way. The way I see things is that, religion is all encompassing. There are so many parallels and common denominator's between different religions. Finding one which one feels comfortable is the key. i.e. finding a group of people who can do similar things, is the main key. 

To me, sexuality reaches a point, if and when the woman feels comfortable. Some people like to associate and listen to other factors like their own religion or that they like to associate this in their own minds, but the truth is that, everybody is supposed to have a "free will". Meaning, they can choose either to have sex or not. Inside of religion or outside of it. Some chooses to adhere to this, others don't. There are many more religious entities that teaches about sex. But the reality is that, many people do not go and search and find answers for themselves, so therefore they blame religion instead. For me, I found out about sex by bombardments of what comes out of school, what comes out of educational teen website. What comes out of women's magazines. What comes out of religious text like the karma sutra. Listening to your partner, knowing your own body, and how it feels, connect yourself spiritually to it as well. 

Also in long term relationships, most people help one another learn about their own bodies, and about themselves, and about their sex lives as well... So why is there a definite need to share with others, or strangers, or necessarily to broadcast it? If you cannot trust your partner with your body, then why be with them ? 

"Sexuality" to me means a whole different kettle of fish. It is a self discipline thing, that one can indeed expose to something in order to reach a certain point etc... To me, it means also sharing this with my partner, and not with random strangers, for that closeness and intimacies. I lead with Fi... in INFP...so. 

Some people who are brought up with religion may not necessarily be confused with their own sexuality and religion per se, in an intrinsic way, but more that they did not know themselves regardless first and foremost any way. Cos as you start to differentiate the different things, impact in your life, then you will know the truthful answers. 

A lot of religion itself show and asks others to abstain from sex, is because when you do have sex, you do have an increased level of hormones, or oxytocin. In Christianity, you are asked this, because it is to allow one to have also a clear mind too in order to think straight sometimes. In the East, it does not ask you to abstain from sex, but it increases the level of foreplay and most people are more docile and kind. Cos in a way, this enables them to actually be considerate first and foremost than before they think. 

I think that the longer a person do not have sex, the more angry they become, and also the more thinking they achieve.. and this is not necessarily good.


----------



## Bago

finically said:


> ....
> What would you suggest to a 20-y-old college student who finds herself as the de facto head of the family, and who is struggling to convince her mother to get treatment for cancer? For the last few months, I have tried everything from kindness, calmness, rationality, firmness, a little anger, etc.
> 
> (Dad is not around. The family comprises of mum, my younger sister, and a disabled aunt. My sister and aunt are unwilling to get involved in the discussion.)


Is your mom an empath ? NF ? There is no discussion needed, you just need to get her to go into hospital asap.. Coax her, continuously... coax her.... 



> Mum has endometrial cancer, and part of the problem is that she refuses to talk about it, and share any information. I have no idea about the severity and prognosis, except that she probably requires a hysterectomy at this stage.


If she is an empath, she will not talk about it so openly. Partly maybe you are looking for information which she herself may not know, or wants to relay on because it is such a private thing for a female to accept emotionally. You mentioned that she may be religious, I wondered if she is in some kind of denial in a way. 

I want you to do things behind her back, and if there is a family doctor or a nurse helpline that you can ask for further information. Maybe your mom will also require this information any how. Just so that she knows what is going to happen, how, and everything else. She may need a lot of love, and support emotionally. Share the information with your aunt if need be and at least allow her to talk her around too. 



> Mum forbade me to tell my sister and aunt about her cancer (didn't listen to that). I might not have known either had I not pestered her after seeing her take days and weeks off work, lying in bed, clearly in extreme pain. She has to take a lot of painkillers to go to work. Initially we agreed that she would start treatment/get surgery back in June (she vaguely said that it was critical for her to get care by that date). It's almost Sep now.


When she is in pain, get her pills for her, give her water, and reassure her that things will be okay. Asks her questions to re-evaluate her situation. i.e. "has the pain gone now?" Hug her, hug her often, and a lot more. Hold her hand til the pain passes. 

Remind her. Be her timekeeper. Always beg her to go for the operation "please mom". Guilt trip her if you must. 
Also, if and when she goes into hospital, ensure that you got a plan in place. How she gets there, when the operation happens, and who deals with things at home, and who cooks, clean, and if your sister goes to school. Also, get your sister to help out too, and get her to make food parcels to take for hospital visits. Definitely visits each day if you can. Asks for your sister to help you too. Tell her your plans, and asks her to support you in your plans. Tell her off if you must. i.e. "You're grown up now, and I need your help too!" She too could be scared of what the situation means. Bring her back this way from doing silly things at this stage of her life. Reassure her too. 



> At this point, I am just so confused about how to get through to mum. She won't even tell me how she is or refuses to talk. The women in my family have a tendency to keep everything to themselves. My grandmother died at the age of 60 from a heart attack, and we never even knew that she was so ill.
> 
> All I know is that mum needs help. I know that she's rather superstitious and somewhat religious, but I also know that cancer doesn't heal through miracles and faith.


You have to reassure her that you can take care of the household while she goes to hospital, and that she must also fight for herself and for you guys too. Say these words if you must. This is persuasion. Also, reassure her that you will be there with her always. Tell her how much she means to you. She is not likely to talk to you because she does not want to burden on you. This is her mothering protective side, but if you tell her that you found out a lot of information anyway, and that you know what can happen and so forth, and that you will go through the whole thing with her and be there for her, then she may tell you more about her feelings. The main point at the moment, is for her to literally submit herself into the hospital. She is not likely to go there if she realises that her household will fall apart. She has to let go of the household responsibilities for a single moment, as a mother, in order for her to focus her own strength onto herself, and her current situation. By doing a little bit more things for her and be a bit more responsible for a short period of time, it will ensure her to go forth to deal with her situation. Get more people to persuade her if you can. Remember, persuade, coax, not argue... 

She is in some kind of denial... She is not looking towards faith for miracles and cures. She is looking to religion for peace, and an answer. A decision point. But truthfully and realistically speaking, she has to trust science now. I want you to persuade her, and tell her information to persuade her. Tell her that you know about cancers cos you searched online, and that it is of different stages. Tell her these information and persuade her. cos she may not realise the time factor. If you must, then sneakily, especially if she attends church, or whatever, then find a more trustworthy similar NF priest or woman to persuade her to go for the operations. You need to find her someone to talk to. Maybe someone similar to her age, and also can really talk to her in a reflective manner in order to make her decision to go forward. So that she can feel more comfortable going forward etc. There are so many support group out there, and cancer survivors as well. You may be able to contact someone, who can talk to her and maybe answer her questions too ? Do this only if your mom is an NF. 

The technical information for your own understanding. Cancer has 4 categories, level 1, 2, 3 and 4. Your doctors will diagnose this for you. 

http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/can...questions/how-many-stages-of-cancer-are-there 

1 and 2 is easily treatable. The cancer cells are isolated in a single area, and removal of the whole organ usually reduces the risk. 
3 and 4 is harder, cos the cancer cells have started to mobilise onto other areas. Treatment must occur asap as so not to let the cancer spread. If you are at this stage, then you are fighting against time here. Do NOT wait. 



My own father also died of cancer, this is why I know this kind of thing. I also have friends and their relatives also going through cancer too. So I know it well. We shared information and so forth about treatments and we did support one another which was quite important in the end...I broke down so much, but I came back up, cos my friends supported me. BUT, we all shared information PRIVATELY... and at the time, I am sure that there is a lot of different emotions going through the cancer patient's mind ? So, it does not help to add to their burden, but if you can find out information and give them options, and remind them to take it, and hold their hand through the process and so forth, then maybe this will encourage them to come forward for treatments ? 

If you need any information or is curious about your options, or need someone to talk to, then please do not hesitate to PM, ok ?


----------



## Kingpin

Do you have a partner with all of those positive traits and who also lacks all the negative traits. If not do you think it's likely that you'll find it


----------



## tangosthenes

do you find misogynistic comments sexy? if so I have a kitchen with teeming with the quantum potentiality of sandwiches.


----------



## carlaviii

Kingpin said:


> Do you have a partner with all of those positive traits and who also lacks all the negative traits. If not do you think it's likely that you'll find it


1. No. 2. No, I'm a realist. 



tangosthenes said:


> do you find misogynistic comments sexy? if so I have a kitchen with teeming with the quantum potentiality of sandwiches.


If you wait long enough, the sandwiches may form on their own. Though IIRC you can't actually look in the kitchen or you'll ruin it.


----------



## tangosthenes

carlaviii said:


> 1. No. 2. No, I'm a realist.
> 
> 
> 
> If you wait long enough, the sandwiches may form on their own. Though IIRC you can't actually look in the kitchen or you'll ruin it.


I like how you think.


----------



## Kingpin

Are you an ESTP Enneagram 8 by any chance ?


----------



## carlaviii

Kingpin said:


> Are you an ESTP Enneagram 8 by any chance ?


Me? No. INTJ, 5w6.


----------



## Blazy

Dear beautiful women of PerC,

Did a guy ever steal a kiss from you? Tell me more.

Wh1zkey


----------



## Aenye

What do women gain from dressing up, applying make up etc. almost every day? (even when they don't 'have to')


----------



## monemi

tangosthenes said:


> do you find misogynistic comments sexy? if so I have a kitchen with teeming with the quantum potentiality of sandwiches.


I've heard that Jesus can do some fantastic things for you. Maybe he'll make you some sandwiches?



Wh1zkey said:


> Dear beautiful women of PerC,
> 
> Did a guy ever steal a kiss from you? Tell me more.
> 
> Wh1zkey


A boy at school when I was about 7 or 8. We were playing tag and I'm pretty sure I said something mean. He pinned me to the ground and kissed me. I couldn't figure out why it made me so fucking mad and I wasn't a happy camper. 



Aenye said:


> What do women gain from dressing up, applying make up etc. almost every day? (even when they don't 'have to')


I enjoy it. It's like face painting except it's socially acceptable to do every day. My mother used to put mascara on me when I was a little kid. I can and do go out without make-up. But I'd call it a hobby. I could give you a tiger face if you want. I'm very good.


----------



## Murky Muse

Wh1zkey said:


> Dear beautiful women of PerC,
> 
> Did a guy ever steal a kiss from you? Tell me more.
> 
> Wh1zkey


Nope. I'm a recluse and when I am out most guys seem to know better than to mess with me. Apparently I give off a "I don't put up with that shit" vibe. Or at least that's why I never got a date in highschool. 



Aenye said:


> What do women gain from dressing up, applying make up etc. almost every day? (even when they don't 'have to')


My everyday make up is just some foundation, which I wear to even out my skin tone. If I'm staying at home, I see no reason to put on even that. However, there are some random days where I will feel like dressing up and doing the eye shadow/eyeliner/lipstick deal. It can be fun and gives a confidence boost. I think for the women that wear it everyday do so for the same reasons, and possibly also because of habit. It's just routine and normal for them.


----------



## Bago

Wh1zkey said:


> Dear beautiful women of PerC,
> 
> Did a guy ever steal a kiss from you? Tell me more.
> 
> Wh1zkey


 


So I was with this INFP guy.... and he knew I was mad...we were walking... in the rain... and then he was telling me things.. and I was pondering over this.... and then *kiss*..... I was surprised..... but I smiled. We continued to walk on.


----------



## Jennywocky

I don't wear makeup every day. I think my face actually looks better with some eyeliner (otherwise visually the eye is not drawn to anything), so I do wear that even on weekends. I'll also use foundation during the workweek to even out my skin tone (people notice the difference on the days I do and don't wear it, even if they don't recognize what they're seeing), and I'll use a brow pencil too.

Why? because when it's used correctly, it helps things look better and I like what I look like. It's also kind of fun and artsy, to see what you can do.

But like I said, I go without depending on what else I'm doing. Wear makeup to the gym or grocery shopping? haha.


----------



## carlaviii

Aenye said:


> What do women gain from dressing up, applying make up etc. almost every day? (even when they don't 'have to')


Beats the heck out of me. I don't.


----------



## carlaviii

Wh1zkey said:


> Did a guy ever steal a kiss from you?


Not that I recall.


----------



## Bago

Aenye said:


> What do women gain from dressing up, applying make up etc. almost every day? (even when they don't 'have to')


Well, I have psycho-analysed the clothing angle for sooo many years. From rebelling, and body rejecting, to now. Whether I like it totally or not, I think it really does express who you are and what you are. 

Maybe I used to reject it a little bit because of how my mother used to pamper me and bully me into wearing certain things without making myself associate my identity to my clothing such that I would actually reject it. But to me now, I have gone through so many style, and I finally found the way I like to dress, and represents who I am. It feels good to be able to show your identity. Some people say that clothing can make you look a certain way and so forth and some say they don't. But to me, it is now a sociological thing, as well as an identity thing. It is taking back the control, and being me.  

To me, it is about "respect". It is not the same if someone respected you and thought you looked good just because of how you dress, but to me, it is good to respect yourself, but do so in a way which is also appropiate to your environment. I now associate some of my clothing to where I work. This is really important. Cos if you do not even and cannot even be bothered to dress appropiately when working with them, then it just means you think that they are a joke etc. 

I wouldn't do make up every day. I have thrown this out of the window now, but yes, I am slowly seeing that certain make up and some make up DOES make a lot of difference. 

[Added] Oh, I don't do this a lot, but I like to get back into the practice of. I used to wear in a seasonal way with regards to clothing. I did once love the changing of the season and I put away clothes hoping that the season will come out again and I will wear it again.  As an NF, I like to feel the mood, and the comfortableness of the clothing etc.


----------



## DemonD

Do you _like_ makeup?

If you don't wear make up, do you receive any flak for it?

If you do, is it more from men or women?


----------



## monemi

DemonD said:


> Do you _like_ makeup?


Yes



DemonD said:


> If you don't wear make up, do you receive any flak for it?


I get zero compliments and people who are used to seeing me wear make-up ask if I'm tired. 



DemonD said:


> If you do, is it more from men or women?


Men. Women seem to know that I'm just not wearing make-up. Men don't recognize that I wear make-up most days unless I do something fun with it.


----------



## android654

What's your opinion on PDA (public displays of affection?)


----------



## FallingSlowly

DemonD said:


> Do you _like_ makeup?


Yes. I just don't like it if you can see it from a mile away. I'm more of the subtle kind. Sneaky sneaky...



> If you don't wear make up, do you receive any flak for it?


I wouldn't call it receiving flak, but people notice, much in the same way that @_monemi_ describes.



> If you do, is it more from men or women?


Men. They seem to underestimate my general make-up sneakiness (I swear I don't look like John Turturro) and immediately wonder if I'm sick. Could be the polite way of saying: "Jeez, you're ugly" of course...


----------



## Jennywocky

*Do you like makeup?*

Yes.

*If you don't wear make up, do you receive any flak for it?*

Not really, although I notice I'm completely ignored by guys without makeup on. (So much for, "Oh, I like the _natural _look.")

Women have never commented on a lack of makeup, because we all know the scoop, the constraints, the PitA aspect, etc. I did comment on when I did have my makeup nicely done, and someone wanted tips, though.



android654 said:


> What's your opinion on PDA (public displays of affection?)


As long as you don't mind standing there and filming it on my phone to post on YouTube or FaceBook, have at it.


----------



## carlaviii

DemonD said:


> If you don't wear make up, do you receive any flak for it?


Honestly, nobody has ever mentioned it to my face.


----------



## Accidie

DemonD said:


> Do you _like_ makeup?
> 
> If you don't wear make up, do you receive any flak for it?
> 
> If you do, is it more from men or women?


I don't dislike it. I just wish I didn't feel like I needed it, or wearing it was expected of me.
I think it's a fact that the better you look, the nicer most people are to you. Makeup is a big part of that for us women.
It's not like people come up to your face, "You're a horrible excuse for a woman because you're not wearing makeup!" If it's unusual for them to see you without it, they'll wonder if you're tired or sick.













android654 said:


> What's your opinion on PDA (public displays of affection?)


I don't mind doing it/seeing it, as long as no one gets in anyone's way.


----------



## psych9000

What is your opinion on feminism?


----------



## Murky Muse

DemonD said:


> Do you _like_ makeup?
> 
> If you don't wear make up, do you receive any flak for it?
> 
> If you do, is it more from men or women?


I can like it on occasion, but not as a regular thing. The flak I get for not wearing make up is from my mom, and that's because she wanted a bubbly social butterfly type daughter while I am most definitely not. No one else seems to notice all that much. Or if they do, they don't say anything about it.


----------



## Bago

psych9000 said:


> What is your opinion on feminism?


Zzz..... haha... Sorry, I'm too old now to care for this kind of thing. 
Call me dumb if you like.


Zzz....


----------



## carlaviii

psych9000 said:


> What is your opinion on feminism?


It's a very necessary movement that still has important work to do, but due to extremists it has lost a lot of traction in popular culture. 

Kind of like the environmental movement lost traction in the 70s and 80s. Hopefully feminism will get back on track.


----------



## monemi

psych9000 said:


> What is your opinion on feminism?


It is about equality for the sexes. It is about choice for everyone. The extremists get the attention. There is a lot of work to do still as things currently aren't fair for men or women.


----------



## phony

Wh1zkey said:


> Dear beautiful women of PerC,
> 
> Did a guy ever steal a kiss from you? Tell me more.
> 
> Wh1zkey


No, but a girl has. She was my first kiss. We were at the pool and she found out I hadn't had my first kiss (I was 15) and she went "Dawww..." and she kissed me. I had my eyes open lol. I was sort of annoyed, I thought my first kiss would be ≈special≈


----------



## phony

Aenye said:


> What do women gain from dressing up, applying make up etc. almost every day? (even when they don't 'have to')


I try to dress nice for school most days now because I'm trying to look presentable now. Last term I used to just wear whatever because I didn't even want to go to school, this is me trying to put in effort I guess. People have really noticed, it's sort of nice when people tell you they like your skirt or "you look nice". I don't wear make up. I'm trying to learn how lol but it's not working out so well.


----------



## phony

DemonD said:


> Do you _like_ makeup?
> 
> If you don't wear make up, do you receive any flak for it?
> 
> If you do, is it more from men or women?


No I don't like it because it's so fucking hard to put on. I think it's really cool when a girl can put makeup on and look good because THAT TOOK TIME AND EFFORT MAN. It's even worse when you have to take it off ugh. I wear make up very rarely. I don't wear any to school.

I don't really receive flak for it, sometimes people say I have nice skin and ask if it's because I'm wearing make up.


----------



## monemi

phony said:


> No I don't like it because it's so fucking hard to put on. I think it's really cool when a girl can put makeup on and look good because THAT TOOK TIME AND EFFORT MAN. It's even worse when you have to take it off ugh. I wear make up very rarely. I don't wear any to school.
> 
> I don't really receive flak for it, sometimes people say I have nice skin and ask if it's because I'm wearing make up.



I was playing with make-up when I was 6 and asking my mother how to do it properly. By the time I was a teenager, I had been experimenting with colours and techniques for years. I think it's better to play around with it when you aren't planning to go anywhere and just figure out what works and what doesn't. That's if you want to. It's like learning how to do a ponytail or put braids in your hair. You aren't born with this knowledge. A lot of girls "play" (practice) doing this growing up and gain dexterity over time. KWIM?


----------



## phony

monemi said:


> I was playing with make-up when I was 6 and asking my mother how to do it properly. By the time I was a teenager, I had been experimenting with colours and techniques for years. I think it's better to play around with it when you aren't planning to go anywhere and just figure out what works and what doesn't. That's if you want to. It's like learning how to do a ponytail or put braids in your hair. You aren't born with this knowledge. A lot of girls "play" (practice) doing this growing up and gain dexterity over time. KWIM?


ohhhh yeah that makes sense. but it's so hard ugh, like it takes a lot of effort lol. they should sell eyeliner stamps or something because i can never get them even


----------



## monemi

Wellsy said:


> What's something you wish more men understood?
> And
> What's surprised you about men you know.


That they can say things that are more damaging than anything any women has ever said to me. 

That two confident, feeling men were the ones who taught me to express my feelings growing up and as an adult. I hadn't realized that until I reflected on that recently. I just hadn't made that connection after hearing a lifetime of women complaining about men being insensitive.


----------



## monemi

phony said:


> How different does sex feel with/without a condom?
> 
> Did penetrative sex hurt the first time? Did it hurt after the first time?
> 
> Also, do you think think this girl is being too paranoid? Pill + Condoms = Effective Enough? | Scarleteen
> Because lol that's pretty much how worried I am about sex.


I didn't have sex without a condom until I was 22. I'd been sexually active for years before that. I preferred extra thin Japanese condoms because they conduct heat better. The difference isn't good enough that I'd recommend sex without a condom unless you are confident without one. 

I'm probably not the best person to answer the second question due to sexual abuse. 

I don't think pills + condoms is being paranoid.


----------



## carlaviii

Wellsy said:


> What's something you wish more men understood?


Silence is worse than a "No."



> What's surprised you about men you know.


After some thought, everything boiled down to the fact that I've been living with a not-so-good example of the male population for far too long, so my perceptions have been skewed. Maybe that's what has surprised me -- the reminder that different people are different. 

Which sounds stupid, I know, but...


----------



## monemi

carlaviii said:


> After some thought, everything boiled down to the fact that I've been living with a not-so-good example of the male population for far too long, so my perceptions have been skewed. Maybe that's what has surprised me -- the reminder that different people are different.
> 
> Which sounds stupid, I know, but...


I had some great examples of men growing up. It was a shock running into bad examples once I was out on my own. I had theoretical knowledge of how shitty people can be, but it was so much worse than I'd imagined.


----------



## HellCat

Wellsy said:


> What's something you wish more men understood?
> And
> What's surprised you about men you know.


I wish they would understand how fragile trust is for a woman. You mess with her vulnerability once and shes likely to never trust you again. And that having the same organs, does not make us all "the same" 

I am surprised by how respectful and gentle, loving, empathetic and compassionate to women my brother is, I am so proud of him. He even waited until he was married at 21 to hook up with his wife. I can't say I have ever had the same self control. They had been together from age 15. My uncle did the same thing waited til he was 24. 

My brother also loves to make female friends and counsel them and his wife, trusts him implicitly. Its beautiful.


----------



## .17485

What's your favourite hair color and hairstyle?


----------



## monemi

Tega1 said:


> What's your favourite hair color and hairstyle?


On a man?

Short hair that's still long enough to run my fingers through and mess up. 











Colour? Natural. Colour doesn't really bother me.


----------



## Wellsy

Not sure how this will be recieved as is rather prying into the private but imagine it could have some heart warming results.

What's been your favourite moment of non-sexual intimacy? How/why was that experience so special?


----------



## petite libellule

Wellsy said:


> What's something you wish more men understood?
> And
> What's surprised you about men you know.


*Things I wish men understood (a list):*

1). I wish men understood what it's like to have a period, hormones and super painful cramps.

2). I wish men understood what it's like to have a person growing inside you, how uncomfortable and painful it is to carry and bring that person into the world, and how intense it feels to have a vital organ walking about in the world that you're entirely responsible for in each and every way until such a time that person is capable to take responsibility for themselves ...

3). I wish men understood JUST how much influence they have with women(depending on).

4). I wish men understood how incredibly capable and awesome their potential is(depending on).

5). I wish men understood JUST how painful it can be to wear heels. 

6). I wish men understood how to express and share their feelings.

7). I wish men understood that their words and actions REALLY DO matter in this world to those around them.

8). I wish men understood that their gestures of affections are equivalent to inhaling a balloon of orgasm. 

9). I wish men understood that to ask for directions or to ask for advice or help, is OKAY. 

10). I wish men understood JUST how IMPORTANT they are ....

_*This really should have been a thread. good question!*
_

*What has surprised me about men I've known (a list):*

I'm afraid I haven't ever really been surprised by men that I've known. I've been pleasantly surprised by certain individuals integrity and character. I could create lists of things I respect, admire and marvel on .. but nothing in particularly "generic" that could be applied to ALL men. 

*I guess maybe men have surprised me in their ability to understand ... *
(though for whatever reason they often times prefer to play dumb because it's safer and less committal )


----------



## petite libellule

Wellsy said:


> What's been your favourite moment of non-sexual intimacy? How/why was that experience so special?


staring into the other persons eyes and literally feelings tingly all over under my skin, as if my whole being weren't alive prior to that moment. It was so special because I hadn't ever felt that before, to have my physical body be effected from nothing but my mind. the only other things that I must admit are incredibly my favorites but are totally non-sexual are to hold hands. bear hugs is a close second but that could be experienced with a lot of people. holding hands is deeper intimacy by far ..


----------



## petite libellule

Tega1 said:


> What's your favourite hair color and hairstyle?


brown hair. not sure why and nothing against anyone with blonde hair but I'm not attracted to blonde hair at all, or black. brown hair is my favorite hair color I guess. hairstyle is whatever suits that person best. 

I don't really have a particular hair style preference.


----------



## Cetanu

I'm curious to see what a woman thinks being a man is like.

Try to be detailed.

Maybe cover the following topics:

- In a committed relationship
- In a sexual relationship
- Career
- General life walking around in shops, cafes, public transport, streets at night
- While out clubbing or at a bar
- When it comes to gym/exercise and eating healthily
- When it comes to interacting with women in general, and men in general, in conversations

Maybe try to talk about your own ideas first, and then cover the following ideas:

- What is our inner monologue like in each of the above situations
- What do we think of ourselves in each of the above situations
- What emotions would we have, in each of the above situations?
- What kind of man would you be, what would you look like, how would you act?
- I hate the word, but would you be an alpha? or some other thing?

Thanks for your time


----------



## monemi

Wellsy said:


> Not sure how this will be recieved as is rather prying into the private but imagine it could have some heart warming results.
> 
> What's been your favourite moment of non-sexual intimacy? How/why was that experience so special?


I don't cry often, but I've always found it embarrassing. It's something I've saved for later to do in private and then pretend like it never happened. I was just always secretive about it. It was a big step for me to not hide tears from my husband. It's still a little embarrassing. But it feels extremely intimate to share that with him.


----------



## monemi

Cetanu said:


> I'm curious to see what a woman thinks being a man is like.
> 
> Try to be detailed.
> 
> Maybe cover the following topics:
> 
> - In a committed relationship
> - In a sexual relationship
> - Career
> - General life walking around in shops, cafes, public transport, streets at night
> - While out clubbing or at a bar
> - When it comes to gym/exercise and eating healthily
> - When it comes to interacting with women in general, and men in general, in conversations
> 
> Maybe try to talk about your own ideas first, and then cover the following ideas:
> 
> - What is our inner monologue like in each of the above situations
> - What do we think of ourselves in each of the above situations
> - What emotions would we have, in each of the above situations?
> - What kind of man would you be, what would you look like, how would you act?
> - I hate the word, but would you be an alpha? or some other thing?
> 
> Thanks for your time


The default perception in most movies and television and books is male. And if it isn't, more often than not it's written off as a chick thing and ignored by the male population. The male experience is the predominant experience.


----------



## carlaviii

Tega1 said:


> What's your favourite hair color and hairstyle?


Color isn't too important, though I tend toward dark hair. I'm a sucker for long hair on a guy, though -- when it's well maintained.


----------



## Cetanu

monemi said:


> The default perception in most movies and television and books is male. And if it isn't, more often than not it's written off as a chick thing and ignored by the male population. The male experience is the predominant experience.


Are you saying that in order to see what women imagine men's experience to be like, I have to look at movies, television and books?

Don't you think that undermines, I don't know, the entire female population, just a little bit? Have you seen most movies?


----------



## monemi

Cetanu said:


> Are you saying that in order to see what women imagine men's experience to be like, I have to look at movies, television and books?
> 
> Don't you think that undermines, I don't know, the entire female population, just a little bit? Have you seen most movies?


No. I'm surprised you took my meaning that way. I'm saying women don't need to imagine what life is like for men. Men write about their lives in mainstream movies, television and books. Most authors in television and movies and books are male. We already hear it right from the horses mouth.


----------



## Cetanu

monemi said:


> No. I'm surprised you took my meaning that way. I'm saying women don't need to imagine what life is like for men. Men write about their lives in mainstream movies, television and books. Most authors in television and movies and books are male. We already hear it right from the horses mouth.


But these are fantasies and exaggerations, not actual reality. I was asking what women think reality is like for men.


----------



## petite libellule

Cetanu said:


> I'm curious to see what a woman thinks being a man is like.
> 
> Try to be detailed.
> 
> Maybe cover the following topics:
> 
> - In a committed relationship.
> I think it would be like being trapped in a cage so with that being said, I think I would take my time making sure that bird cage was a fucking HAVEN. note that the idea of being in a committed(seriously committed) relationship feels much the same for me, so I do my best to make sure that man is like, THE MAN. lol!
> 
> - In a sexual relationship
> I have no idea what it would be like to be a guy in a sexual only relationship(no mind stuff). I suppose if it was something on going it would be like having a 'buddy' with boobs who would rub their genitals with mine every so often for fun
> 
> - Career
> Jesus! I think it would suck! probably comparable to what I'm experiencing now. nothing but stress and turmoil over the pressure for success. I think men might get off on it slightly though. if they trip themselves out with competition or something to motivate their testosterone? *shrugs* ugh ... being a man in the rat race probably sucks. but then again, it does for women too and we're expected to maintain femininity during the whole process too.
> 
> - General life walking around in shops, cafes, public transport, streets at night
> I think it would be like having tuna squished in a can keeping your junk all tidy for no chafe. LOL!
> gross.
> 
> - While out clubbing or at a bar
> Like a kid in a candy shop with all the eye candy. I'd probably be imagining my penis out of my pants a lot too. therefore it would be difficult maintaining eye contact during conversations which would mean that I'd have NO game, whatsoever.
> 
> - When it comes to gym/exercise and eating healthily
> Easier than it would be for a woman. It would feel good because I'd know it was more of an option and less mandatory. Women are by far more forgiving than men imo. the last guy I was smitten over looks great but I have to admit, I kinda found him more attractive when he was a little less in shape, lol! I don't know why. the latter made me want to bite him more. but being in better shape is good too. so essentially if I were a guy, I'd probably be cocky as fuck while working out knowing that I was doing it to look good for me, knowing it doesn't hold as much weight for women as it does when the roles are revered. not sure if that was worded good but, there ya go.
> 
> - When it comes to interacting with women in general, and men in general, in conversations
> I think for a man it would be sizing up the man in conversation to see what he's got so to speak. with women I would imagine it to be majorly different depending on the woman. *see food comparison list below*
> 
> super hot woman with no brains. -> would be like talking to super fattening cheesecake.
> 
> super ugly woman with or without brains -> talking to dry toast, burnt if there's no brains.
> 
> super fat woman with or without brains -> talking to a stick of butter, or margarine.
> 
> very attractive woman, not the brightest bulb in the bunch, but has some brains -> talking to a hand bag.
> 
> very attractive woman, intelligent -> talking to a bright light turning me into melting butter.
> 
> I might even resent her for it
> 
> Maybe try to talk about your own ideas first, and then cover the following ideas:
> 
> - What is our inner monologue like in each of the above situations
> - What do we think of ourselves in each of the above situations
> - What emotions would we have, in each of the above situations?
> - What kind of man would you be, what would you look like, how would you act?
> - I hate the word, but would you be an alpha? or some other thing?
> 
> Thanks for your time


my inner monologue would no doubt often berate myself for talking out of my ass or for being a pussy for not talking at all. I would think of myself as probably dumb, I'd see myself as a kid playing the part of an adult, as I do as a woman. emotions would be a lot of frustration and irritation as women experience it but just for different issues. I'd feel probably more anger vs. fear and I'd probably be an alpha male but not an arrogant asshole or anything. I'd probably regard myself as a man of great integrity and strive to be successful in all pursuits in my life. I would expect my friends to punch me in the face when I behaved like a moron. 

stuff like that ...


----------



## monemi

Cetanu said:


> But these are fantasies and exaggerations, not actual reality. I was asking what women think reality is like for men.


Not all stories are fantasies and art and life often shadow each other.


----------



## Villainous

To all women here, have you ever done any of these things?: 10 Cruel things women do to men - The Times of India

If so, how many times?


----------



## carlaviii

Villainous said:


> To all women here, have you ever done any of these things?: 10 Cruel things women do to men - The Times of India
> 
> If so, how many times?


I've never done any of those things -- I'm assuming that attempting to offer constructive criticism in public is not the same as #5.


----------



## Cetanu

monemi said:


> Not all stories are fantasies and art and life often shadow each other.


Maybe so, but would you trust a commercialized film or television show, arguably created to make a profit, to be accurate to the feelings and experiences of the person that initially came up with the idea for it?


----------



## carlaviii

Wellsy said:


> What's been your favourite moment of non-sexual intimacy? How/why was that experience so special?


There have been some moments, with a particular one of my FWBs, when he's confessed things to me... and everything about his body language shouted that he was terrified to say them aloud. He was quite drunk, each time, and I knew he'd never talk about such things sober. 

Which broke my heart, because one of those things was "I love you." But I went into this knowing that I wouldn't get to keep him, and that he'll leave a scar when he goes. 

I wouldn't say they're my favorite moments, but they're precious to me.


----------



## Cetanu

Ningsta Kitty said:


> my inner monologue would no doubt often berate myself for talking out of my ass or for being a pussy for not talking at all. I would think of myself as probably dumb, I'd see myself as a kid playing the part of an adult, as I do as a woman. emotions would be a lot of frustration and irritation as women experience it but just for different issues. I'd feel probably more anger vs. fear and I'd probably be an alpha male but not an arrogant asshole or anything. I'd probably regard myself as a man of great integrity and strive to be successful in all pursuits in my life. I would expect my friends to punch me in the face when I behaved like a moron.
> 
> stuff like that ...


Your post is so interesting that I might do a video response on it, to reveal my actual experiences and make comparisons to your ideas.
I think it would be eye-opening for some people. I'll keep you posted.


----------



## monemi

Villainous said:


> To all women here, have you ever done any of these things?: 10 Cruel things women do to men - The Times of India
> 
> If so, how many times?


That started badly. Yeah, I have given fake numbers when the guy wouldn't take no for an answer. They called that cruel? Shit. I don't know how many times I've done that. Hasn't everyone? 

I've accepted drinks. I didn't use any 'feminine wiles' to get free drinks. I brought money to buy bottled water so I didn't get dehydrated, not to get drunk. A couple of drinks on top of that didn't seem like a big deal. I didn't go in planning to drink or with the purpose of getting free drinks. That's just what happens when you go out dancing. 

Never kept placeholders. That's just obviously cruel. 

Emotionally manipulate men? Tears no. I have stared cluelessly at my car when I didn't want to get dirty changing the tyre on the side of the road or needed a jump start. I didn't think that was cruel. I don't know how many times I've done variations of this. But I've never used tears or looked very upset. My acting probably wouldn't be that good anyway. 

I don't hit people.

Me and my husband tease each other in public. It's never nasty or extreme. We know where the lines are and we make each other laugh. We've both at different times cracked up laughing after a derogatory comment (not mean spirited) and conceded defeat because it was damn funny. 

I've never concealed my relationship status to people. 

With holding sex to control partner isn't as affective long term as TALKING to my partner. I don't want control over my partner and I don't want to be controlled. 

I don't test my husband. He lives with me, that's a test of his patience right there. 

No, I don't try to inspire jealousy in my husband or in previous relationships. I just communicate with my husband.


----------



## monemi

Cetanu said:


> Maybe so, but would you trust a commercialized film or television show, arguably created to make a profit, to be accurate to the feelings and experiences of the person that initially came up with the idea for it?


Taken individually or all within one genre, no. But as a body of information starting from documentaries to history books to drama's and even action movies, when combined with the men I know and love in my life, I think I have a decent understanding of what life is like for them. Like women, men aren't made from a mold. There are wide variations of normal.


----------



## petite libellule

Cetanu said:


> Your post is so interesting that I might do a video response on it, to reveal my actual experiences and make comparisons to your ideas.
> I think it would be eye-opening for some people. I'll keep you posted.


really???  I'm so excited!! 

I hope you don't forget to keep me posted. >.<


----------



## HellCat

10. * They don't pick up the phone 

Only when its someone who knows they should not be calling me because I made it abundantly clear I had tired of them. 


*
*9.  Use men for free drinks

I loathe clubs and social bars. I like jazz bars. Will I let guyfriends buy me drinks when they would drag me to the simpleton's bars hoping to get me topless and dancing on a table.. yes. 


*
*8.  Use men as placeholders 

No they know they are fuckbuddies.


7. Emotionally manipulate men.

No! I can barely share human emotion with a man as it is. Purposefully contriving some to get my way is loathsome.


*
*6. Use physical violence  

For fun. I lean toward dominatrix and chaotic neutral on the spectrum. I slap, I punch, I smack, I leave scars.. for fun, never in anger, unless its my brother and ex whose like a brother-they don't count and love to provoke me into beating them.. I also do several martial arts and love to box and spar. 


*
*5. Criticize their men in public 

Not even privately, it would hurt my spirit too much to harm someone lucky enough to be in my inner circle. 


*
*4. They don't disclose their relationship status  

Only when its ambiguous at best. But I am rarely attracted to a man beyond the primal enough to speak with them as it is. One in a hundred if that. 

*
*3. They withhold sex  

What is this sorcery? I just learned in another thread women have emotional needs and now I hear they withhold sex on PURPOSE! Esfp confused, hides in corner, hugging knees and rocking. 


*
*2. They test their men  

Never ask a question you do not want the truth. Why plan to hate them and be disappointed on purpose? No thanks. Trust is difficult enough without personally fucking it up for the sake of drama and theatrics.. and to later use it to control and manipulate them. 

**1. They flirt to inspire jealousy

No. I don't flirt. Only when I have decided I will sleep with them. Leads to too many angry men and hurt feelings, drama and emotions on their behalf. **



*


----------



## Sina

This is a stupid sexist article, but I'll respond, for I am bored, anyway. "Feminine wiles" :dry: lolz



> 10. * They don't pick up the phone *
> While men feel good as they manage to take the girls' phone number, the girls often give them a fake number or don't pick up the call.


If I have given you my number, rest assured, I want to talk to you. If you have acquired my number through round-about ways and are not keeping your distance when asked or getting obsessive, your calls will be put on ignore as they should. No one likes insecure clingy idiots, regardless of sex/gender. 



> 9. * Use men for free drinks *
> Some women go out never planning to spend any of their own money on drinks at the bar or club. Instead, they count on their feminine wiles to convince guys to shell out for their libations. While some of them might begin to get to know him, the cruel and heartless ones will take that drink, flirt a little and move on.


I don't drink. If I were into alcohol, I'd sure as fuck pay for my own drinks. 



> 8. * Use men as placeholders *
> If she is a decent person, she'll just get it over with and dump the boy, but if she's cruel, she'll hold on to him for a while until somebody new comes along. These girls don't like to be alone and without a relationship, so instead of putting you out of your misery and ending it, she'll string you along until she meets someone to replace you.


Men do this too. Anyone that isn't secure enough to cut ties would do such a thing. It has nothing to do men or women. It's just cowardly and opportunistic behaviour. 

Never done this.



> * 7. Emotionally manipulate men *
> Men don't like to see women cry and some cruel women take advantage of the fact and use it to get what they want. A few tears would make men do anything to get it to stop.


This is too stupid for words. It's pervasive shit like this that perpetuates emotional abuse. Many men don't like to see women cry because they don't like being accountable, not because they have big goooey generous hearts. There are men and women out there who will use emotional manipulation and guilt tripping to get their way. The problem here is a lack of self assertion, and the behaviour is ridiculous regardless of what's between a person's legs. 

Hell, I am stoic as fuck. I can't cry on command. I am too direct. I've never done this. 



> * 6. Use physical violence *
> 
> While men hitting girls are often termed nasty, some cruel women feel it's perfectly acceptable to hit their boyfriends, as he would never hit her back. This type of woman feels like she can inflict any kind physical pain on him without fear of repercussion.


Yes, violence directed at men (from women) is grossly trivialized socially. 
I agree with this point. It angers me greatly. I have never physically attacked my partner or anyone else I have dated. I might playfully spar with my partner, but that's about all. 

Of course, there's the obvious point re: men and the widespread physical abuse/sexual violence directed at women in a patriarchal culture that condones victim blaming. 



> * 5. Criticize their men in public *
> Cruel women criticize and humiliate their men in public places. They often poke fun at her man or even soundly debase him.


Cruel people debase their partners in public, yes. No man or woman should put up with this. I have never ever done this to a partner, and if I were to do so (that I wouldn't but for the sake of argument), I'd hope they'd dump my ass on the spot. That's what I'd do to them.



> * 4. They don't disclose their relationship status *
> It's certainly not the worst thing a woman could do to a man, but it is annoying when she's already in a relationship and lets you assume that she's available so that she can enjoy the man's flirtation and flattery.


This is dishonest and misleading. It's repulsive, and obviously, both sexes do this. I have never done such a thing and never would.



> * 3. They withhold sex *
> This is a time-tested, and frequently used, cruel thing for women to do to men. For most men, sex is as important as breathing, so withholding it in order to get something she wants or simply to punish her man for his transgressions is a pretty awful thing to do, even if it is effective.


Men also withhold sex from their partners. Sex is important to anyone who isn't asexual, whether they're men or women. This is a passive aggressive, abusive and underhanded strategy that I have no patience or tolerance for, in anyone. I am far too mature and have far too much integrity to do this to a partner. And, I love (and value) sex too much to use it as a bargaining chip. 




> * 2. They test their men *
> You're all ready to go for a night out with your friends, when your girlfriend calls and asks you to change your plans to be with her instead. She doesn't have any particular reason; she just wants to see you. She knows that you had plans to meet up with the guys, but if you really loved her, you'd come over to her place instead. If her request comes with an "if you really loved me," then it's a test. If you choose anything other than immediately rushing to her side, you're going to fail. This kind of testing in a relationship is indeed cruel and petty.


People who do this are insecure, immature and too imbecilic to be in a relationship. I have never done such a thing, and this is not gendered. 



> * 1. They flirt to inspire jealousy *
> Maybe she's feeling underappreciated, maybe you've just had a big fight or maybe she just enjoys the tortured look on your face. For whatever reason, girls who flirt obviously with other guys in front of their boyfriends are immature and manipulative.


Again, insecure and immature tools flirt to inspire 'jealousy'. Men and women do this. 
Sure ain't how I function, but I see this bullshit from men as well. 


The whole list applies to both men and women.


----------



## HellCat

Wellsy said:


> Not sure how this will be recieved as is rather prying into the private but imagine it could have some heart warming results.
> 
> What's been your favourite moment of non-sexual intimacy? How/why was that experience so special?


Getting so engrossed in studying someones face we barely spoke the whole time and didn't realize it. It was a very highschool moment, blushing and laughing. I am normally very guarded stoic/bitch faced, a lionfish with poison spikes.


----------



## Wellsy

What's been the most atrocious behaviour you've witnessed in person?


----------



## FallingSlowly

Wellsy said:


> What's been the most atrocious behaviour you've witnessed in person?


Sexual assault.


----------



## petite libellule

Wellsy said:


> What's been the most atrocious behaviour you've witnessed in person?


Me and a few of my cousins were in a bar, sitting at the bar. I was left, two female cousins to my right. So my cousin all the way to the right was turned towards me, and I her so we all could see each other and converse .. This guy maybe mid 50's sat behind my cousin to the far right and was literally leaning in to smell her hair and he was staring at me constantly. I eventually asked, 'can I help you?' And he got a little fussy that I was rude but within that one sentence he was interrupted by a worker there. 

Apparently we weren't the only females he was creeping out that evening and he was at that point asked to leave. He stood up completely inebriated and starting confronting the woman in her mid 20's fairly aggressively. She was wiping the spit from her face because he was spitting his words out, slurring his words and was just disgusting to look at. Finally a male bartender came over to step in and his behavior was worse. He knocked over a glass all pissed off that spilled along the bar (we got up to move by this point) and everyone was watching the shit show he was putting on completely shit faced. He was eventually escorted out by the police. 

It was actually more sad to witness than anything else ..


----------



## HellCat

Wellsy said:


> What's been the most atrocious behaviour you've witnessed in person?


A guy downtown cornering my 13 yr old sister and groping her behind my back. She was mute with fear. I had been leaving the gym and this homeless guy I sometimes got subs for was talking to me about a job prospect of his and this creep cornered her. I pulled him off and my homeless friend knocked him out. The police actually applauded him for it.


----------



## monemi

Wellsy said:


> What's been the most atrocious behaviour you've witnessed in person?


Aside from sexual assault. I saw a guy from school shove his mother down a stairwell. On purpose and she was obviously scared of him. I was pretty much done with hanging out with him after I saw that. 

I saw a woman slap a little girl across the face hard enough to make the kid stumble. A couple of us started yelling at her and we were the ones that the shopping center escorted off the property. I was pissed off.


----------



## Jennywocky

Wellsy said:


> Not sure how this will be recieved as is rather prying into the private but imagine it could have some heart warming results.
> 
> What's been your favourite moment of non-sexual intimacy? How/why was that experience so special?


- Laying on a blanket outside, touching each other's face, staring into each other's eyes.
- Curled up on the sofa together, watching Olympic hockey.
- Playing music together ad lib, listening to each other and responding to each other each moment

I guess it's just the spontaneity of it, coupled with the lack of fear / total openness.


----------



## Uralian Hamster

Wellsy said:


> What's been the most atrocious behaviour you've witnessed in person?


One time while riding a cramped bus, there was a couple standing in front of me. The guy was behind the girl and was sort of grinding her the whole way. It was a bit unwholesome, even by city bus standards. 

...so he pulls the cable thing to get off then as he's walking out the door, he grabs her ass. She never got off the bus because they weren't a couple. Yup.


----------



## Wellsy

What do you want? TELL ME! WHAT DO YOU WANT!?

Now real question.
What has the journey of your relations to the opposite sex been like?
What i'm interested in the kinds of people you invested in across the years and whats changed in the kinds of people you choose to invest yourself in.


----------



## L

Why do you say you're interested in a guy to a mutual friend, knowing that, that mutual friend will tell the guy and when he pursues you don't act interested and you're always too busy for a date!? 

Sincerely,
The guy that feels like a bigger dumbass than usual


----------



## HellCat

L said:


> Why do you say you're interested in a guy to a mutual friend, knowing that, that mutual friend will tell the guy and when he pursues you don't act interested and you're always too busy for a date!?
> 
> Sincerely,
> The guy that feels like a bigger dumbass than usual


Either shes shy or messing with your head to feed her ego..


----------



## HellCat

Wellsy said:


> What do you want? TELL ME! WHAT DO YOU WANT!?
> 
> Now real question.
> What has the journey of your relations to the opposite sex been like?
> What i'm interested in the kinds of people you invested in across the years and whats changed in the kinds of people you choose to invest yourself in.


Intelligent, highly guarded and very shallow with eccentric and high standards. Because when you spend ages 4-25 cornered, chased, grabbed, kissed without permission, groped, almost abducted sometimes you are veryfucking picky about who touches you.. or thinks they will get to

I don't really invest. I ask myself are they witty, interesting, athletic with good stamina and will the sex be brutal and satisfying? 


I prefer a modicum of humility, compassion and a hell of a lot of wisdom in that mix now as well. I would much prefer to be treated like a best friend, bitched at sometimes, no censoring- no princess/special snowflake shit, its venom, its flattery to control and smother. Its veiled hatred.- than pursued like some prized endangered species to be broken and mounted, caged.


----------



## L

LeoCat said:


> Either shes shy or messing with your head to feed her ego..


She doesn't seem shy so... fml...


----------



## HellCat

L said:


> She doesn't seem shy so... fml...


I'm really sorry. Sometimes someone may not seem shy at all but be hiding it really well. I will say and do ANYTHING.. except in that matter. I get very aloof and standoffish and scared. So.. it might be a timing thing why not try being her friend first?


----------



## L

LeoCat said:


> I'm really sorry. Sometimes someone may not seem shy at all but be hiding it really well. I will say and do ANYTHING.. except in that matter. I get very aloof and standoffish and scared. So.. it might be a timing thing why not try being her friend first?


Now she doesn't even seem interested in talking to me, that's why.


----------



## L

L said:


> Now she doesn't even seem interested in talking to me, that's why.


And now I know why, apparently she got back together with an ex just a few days ago...


----------



## HellCat

L said:


> Now she doesn't even seem interested in talking to me, that's why.


If the mutual friend is not lying.. then shes probably freaked out her privacy was violated. I would be.. in fact I might never talk to that friend again for doing so.. Also.. she is probably shy.


----------



## L

LeoCat said:


> If the mutual friend is not lying.. then shes probably freaked out her privacy was violated. I would be.. in fact I might never talk to that friend again for doing so.. Also.. she is probably shy.


Nope...



L said:


> And now I know why, apparently she got back together with an ex just a few days ago...


fml... 

I guess I was just an ego boost while she negotiated things with her ex... Not sure why she couldn't just tell me instead of just shutting me out entirely but... fine, whatever... 

I sincerely hate anything dating related... nobody can be straightforward, wait, no, actually there is one niche where you can be straightforward, too bad they call it prostitution and outlaw it.


----------



## HellCat

L said:


> Nope...
> 
> 
> 
> fml...
> 
> I guess I was just an ego boost while she negotiated things with her ex... Not sure why she couldn't just tell me instead of just shutting me out entirely but... fine, whatever...
> 
> I sincerely hate anything dating related... nobody can be straightforward, wait, no, actually there is one niche where you can be straightforward, too bad they call it prostitution and outlaw it.


ewwwww
your better off without one of those needy types anyway.. anyone who chases a guy they just met while negotiating with another..is a needy vampire.


----------



## L

deleted


----------



## Sara Torailles

L said:


> fml...
> 
> I guess I was just an ego boost while she negotiated things with her ex... Not sure why she couldn't just tell me instead of just shutting me out entirely but... fine, whatever...
> 
> I sincerely hate anything dating related... nobody can be straightforward, wait, no, actually there is one niche where you can be straightforward, too bad they call it prostitution and outlaw it.


Sorry to hear that.

The best thing to do in a situation like that is to keep your self-esteem as far away from her as possible. She is a user, and it says nothing about you that you happened to be her victim.


----------



## Hypaspist

Part of what will become a rare trip into this subforum, but here goes nothing :

Can having "good hands" make up for not wanting to "go oral" for stimulation below the belt?


----------



## android654

Naukowiec said:


> Part of what will become a rare trip into this subforum, but here goes nothing :
> 
> Can having "good hands" make up for not wanting to "go oral" for stimulation below the belt?


Not a lady, but just wanted to point out that supplementation isn't a replacement--eat pussy.


----------



## drmiller100

Naukowiec said:


> Part of what will become a rare trip into this subforum, but here goes nothing :
> 
> Can having "good hands" make up for not wanting to "go oral" for stimulation below the belt?


This is puzzling to me. IN the first place if you don't want to, then don't do it. Be honest about it.

Second place, I love this, and cannot imagine not wanting to, EXCEPT for a few women who just don't smell/taste good to me. 

What part don't you like? Just curious.


----------



## Sina

@_Wellsy_



> What's been your favourite moment of non-sexual intimacy? How/why was that experience so special?


Lovely question

Hmmm..it's hard to pick. Physical intimacy of any kind, for me, has almost always involved some sexual touch. However, there was an instance of emotional intimacy with my partner that I can never forget. I was going through a pretty fucked up personal crisis, and I am not used to crying around people or showing vulnerability. I was distressed to the point where I could barely form words. I was just staring ahead with hardly any expression on my face. I tried to speak a few times, but I couldn't get myself to talk or express any emotion whatsoever. However, his sensitivity, gentleness, sincerity, patience and love...drew me out in ways I had never thought possible. After a point, I put my arms around him, edged closer, and rested my head on his shoulders (instead of pushing him away or leaving which is what I'd have done generally), and he stroked my head and told me he loved me. I don't know why but the tears started to flow, and I cried for a long time. I had never, in my life, felt so accepted, loved, cherished, desired and even respected (my humanity had been acknowledged, for a change, instead of my being treated like a machine or a beast to be feared). 

He didn't try to get me to stop. He didn't try to make light of things, which is a very stupid fuckin thing to do. He just let me be, and he stayed attentive, emotionally available and receptive. He was affectionate and understanding, without being smothering. In those moments, and several others I won't get into here, he embodied perfection. I am not one to seek that in a partner or even care for it in general, outside of professional competence, but the only thing that came to mind was..this man is perfect. I had marveled at his existence, daily. That incident drove the point home even further.

I will never forget what he did, for as long as I live. @_LeoCat_ knows who I am talking about.  I do not take it for granted. I refuse to, especially in light of my life experiences. On that note, I have no tolerance for those who either can't be emotionally available like grown ass people are supposed to or who take such sincerity and compassion for granted.


----------



## HellCat

Cosmic Orgasm said:


> @_Wellsy_
> 
> 
> 
> Lovely question
> 
> Hmmm..it's hard to pick. Physical intimacy of any kind, for me, has almost always involved some sexual touch. However, there was an instance of emotional intimacy with my partner that I can never forget. I was going through a pretty fucked up personal crisis, and I am not used to crying around people or showing vulnerability. I was distressed to the point where I could barely form words. I was just staring ahead with hardly any expression on my face. I tried to speak a few times, but I couldn't get myself to talk or express any emotion whatsoever. However, his sensitivity, gentleness, sincerity, patience and love...drew me out in ways I had never thought possible. After a point, I put my arms around him, edged closer, and rested my head on his shoulders (instead of pushing him away or leaving which is what I'd have done generally), and he stroked my head and told me he loved me. I don't know why but the tears started to flow, and I cried for a long time. I had never, in my life, felt so accepted, loved, cherished, desired and even respected (my humanity had been acknowledged, for a change, instead of my being treated like a machine or a beast to be feared).
> 
> He didn't try to get me to stop. He didn't try to make light of things, which is a very stupid fuckin thing to do. He just let me be, and he stayed attentive, emotionally available and receptive. He was affectionate and understanding, without being smothering. In those moments, and several others I won't get into here, he embodied perfection. I am not one to seek that in a partner or even care for it in general, outside of professional competence, but the only thing that came to mind was..this man is perfect. I had marveled at his existence, daily. That incident drove the point home even further.
> 
> I will never forget what he did, for as long as I live. @_LeoCat_ knows who I am talking about.  I do not take it for granted. I refuse to, especially in light of my life experiences. On that note, I have no tolerance for those who either can't be emotionally available like grown ass people are supposed to or who take such sincerity and compassion for granted.


Anytime you want to update me on that..please do babe. and ..that is very touching.


----------



## FallingSlowly

Naukowiec said:


> Part of what will become a rare trip into this subforum, but here goes nothing :
> 
> Can having "good hands" make up for not wanting to "go oral" for stimulation below the belt?


First of all, no one needs to do anything they really, really don't want to do (goes for men and women alike). So if you really don't want to, don't feel pressured. It also wouldn't be a very pleasurable experience for the woman if you did it, but you could hardly stop yourself from gagging 

Also: It's a myth that _all_ women are insanely desperate for oral sex. Here's one who isn't - there, I said it. I personally prefer the real thing (and hands) over oral, although I cannot say I hate it either. I just don't get the major fuss about it, never did.
I even know women who don't like oral at all, and they're 100% not prude because of it. Some men go: "Oh, you just haven't met _me_ yet" because they think they're God's gift to women's sexual fulfilment. Bollocks, it's simply a sexual preference. Not more, not less.

Then: If you or your partner think it should somehow be part of your relationship, you could of course ask yourself why you have an aversion. Is it visual? Is it related to smell or taste? Don't overanalyse it, just think about what puts you off, and if anything can be done about it.
If not - don't feel you need to.

So can hands make up for it? Yes and no. No because it feels totally different, yes because it's just not that important to all of us...


----------



## Wellsy

@Jennywocky @FallingSlowly @Cosmic Orgasm @Ningsta Kitty @LeoCat @monemi @carlaviii

Would like to thank you all for your answers and all that you've been willing to share. 
So thank you.


----------



## HellCat

@Wellsy anytime.


----------



## Hypaspist

drmiller100 said:


> What part don't you like? Just curious.


To be honest, mainly cleanliness and sanitary reasons, it doesn't seem the most sanitary thing to use tongue down there. I'd honestly feel good about just washing my hands afterwards, and since I have very good hands, I feel confident in being able to work a little more magic with said ability.


@_FallingSlowly_ - Thank you for being open and honest.


----------



## carlaviii

Naukowiec said:


> Can having "good hands" make up for not wanting to "go oral" for stimulation below the belt?


It can. Talented fingers plus good making out can be very nice.


----------



## WildImagineer

How would you define attraction? What are the most strikingly "sexy" things a man can do to woo a woman?

Do you drink water regularly? Who do you think drinks more water, men or women?

When you are on a date with a man do you prefer traditional dates (e.g. movie and dinner) or more spontaneous unique dates?

How do you feel about a guy who doesn't like to have sex right away? Honestly.


----------



## carlaviii

WildImagineer said:


> How would you define attraction? What are the most strikingly "sexy" things a man can do to woo a woman?
> 
> Do you drink water regularly? Who do you think drinks more water, men or women?


Yes, I do, mostly for health reasons. I have no idea who drinks more, though. 

Defining all attraction is a bit much for this early in the morning... lol, can I get back to you?



> When you are on a date with a man do you prefer traditional dates (e.g. movie and dinner) or more spontaneous unique dates?


I don't think I've ever been on a fully traditional date. I'd much rather do something different that we're both interested in. 



> How do you feel about a guy who doesn't like to have sex right away? Honestly.


I respect that. I feel like I give off a predatory vibe here sometimes, but honestly yes, I'll respect his boundaries. Just ask my FWB who's only kissed me maybe three times in six months. That's a damn hard boundary to hold to, but I've mostly managed it.


----------



## Spiffymooge

What is, in your opinion, the "best" way to start a conversation with a woman? A conversation that they will most likely reply to and how do I keep this conversation going?

Note, I have no trouble making conversation but as soon as I develop in said woman, my conversational skills dramatically falls because my penis is making the decisions.


----------



## HellCat

WildImagineer said:


> How would you define attraction? What are the most strikingly "sexy" things a man can do to woo a woman?
> 
> Do you drink water regularly? Who do you think drinks more water, men or women?
> 
> When you are on a date with a man do you prefer traditional dates (e.g. movie and dinner) or more spontaneous unique dates?
> 
> How do you feel about a guy who doesn't like to have sex right away? Honestly.


Intellectual, fiery, equally athletic, violent and hyper.. someone who can keep up intellectually and in the realm of wit and banter. 

Fight with her. I am not the romcom sort. I need to be bested in the arena. 

I drink 2 quarts a day minimum. I think women drink more while out dining and men drink more when training in the gym. Balanced. 
spontaneous, adventurous and violent. 

Baffled since they try pawing me when I met them ordinarily and fail. I think its because I have kind of a slutty bitch face naturally.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Do any of you ever feel like a man who is pursuing you is out of your league? Are there certain men you avoid for that reason? 

When certain kinds of men flirt with me, I'm skeptical. I know I'm okay looking, but men in my age range (40s) could probably date women in their late 20s - early 30s, so why would they want me? 

I think mid-forties is a tough age for women.

I'm cautious and I don't date much, despite being asked quite a bit.


----------



## Snakecharmer

I said mid 40s. I'm 43. LOL


----------



## Cetanu

Snakecharmer said:


> Do any of you ever feel like a man who is pursuing you is out of your league? Are there certain men you avoid for that reason?
> 
> When certain kinds of men flirt with me, I'm skeptical. I know I'm okay looking, but men in my age range (40s) could probably date women in their late 20s - early 30s, so why would they want me?
> 
> I think mid-forties is a tough age for women.
> 
> I'm cautious and I don't date much, despite being asked quite a bit.


I find the concept of "leagues" odd.

If two people like each other and want to form a mutually beneficial relationship, where both parties intend to contribute joy and their own values and principles to each other, they should do it.


----------



## FallingSlowly

Snakecharmer said:


> Do any of you ever feel like a man who is pursuing you is out of your league? Are there certain men you avoid for that reason?
> 
> When certain kinds of men flirt with me, I'm skeptical. I know I'm okay looking, but men in my age range (40s) could probably date women in their late 20s - early 30s, so why would they want me?
> 
> I think mid-forties is a tough age for women.
> 
> I'm cautious and I don't date much, despite being asked quite a bit.


I've been in a relationship for years, so I'm a bit out of the dating game. If I was available though, I'd date. I feel "worthy". I know I can't compete with women in their 20s in certain ways, but I have an edge over them in others. And the man who wants to date me obviously sees it the same way, so no reason to beat myself up and ask myself: "Why me?" Per default, no one is "out of my league".

I'm 38, and I still get male attention, both from older guys and, due to my work, sometimes from men a lot younger than myself. 
I mean, why wouldn't we? It's not that we have an expiry date or something. If we have that idea in our own head, we've already lost. I am actually a lot more confident today than I was in my early/mid 20s. Generally, I wouldn't care about age one bit if I was still available, only about chemistry, level of maturity and being emotionally in the same space.
You get it with some people, with others, you immediately know: "Nah, wouldn't lead to anything more than rolling in the hay for a bit." 

So yes, I guess in that way, it's important to be vigilant and have a very clear idea about your own expectations. Finding someone just for sex is an awful lot easier than finding "relationship material". If you're looking for the latter, you'd have to weed out a certain kind more carefully, I absolutely agree.

If a man us interested in you, that's that though. They already chose you over someone else, so that answers the question why they didn't go for the younger woman - because they saw something in you they didn't see in someone else. What exactly that is will probably depend on the man, and it's of course a good idea to align your own expectations with theirs. If they're too different, it won't work, but that's not really specific to age.

So go for it, date!


----------



## carlaviii

Snakecharmer said:


> Do any of you ever feel like a man who is pursuing you is out of your league? Are there certain men you avoid for that reason?


I'm always skeptical when a guy flirts with me, but you have to assume that nobody is putting a gun to his head and forcing him to. Seriously, if he doesn't want to he won't. Second guessing everybody doesn't earn you anything but angst and stress.



> I think mid-forties is a tough age for women.


Right there with you. I thought it would be tougher, to be honest.



> I'm cautious and I don't date much, despite being asked quite a bit.


Nothing ventured, nothing gained...


----------



## phony

Did sex hurt the first few times for you? When did it stop hurting? Do you have any tips for it to hurt less?

Also. Is anyone allergic to water-based lube here?


----------



## HellCat

Snakecharmer said:


> Do any of you ever feel like a man who is pursuing you is out of your league? Are there certain men you avoid for that reason?
> 
> 
> I think mid-forties is a tough age for women.
> 
> I'm cautious and I don't date much, despite being asked quite a bit.


No but I am baffled when some little baby out of high school starts in.. I just want to say do you have a mommy complex, You can't even drink yet! I'm thirty and have always related to MUCH older. Wisdom is so rare now. 

I think "dating" is a mistake.. people showing a romantic interest in one another without even knowing each other on a friendship level first. Its a recipe for disaster, going in putting your anima/animus on someone. This is coming from someone very aloof who doesn't ordinarily let a man know her at all. I have somewhat changed my M.O the last few months.


----------



## carlaviii

phony said:


> Did sex hurt the first few times for you? When did it stop hurting? Do you have any tips for it to hurt less?


Sex hurt the first time. After that, it only hurt when I was not sufficiently warmed up/turned on for it... and maybe once or twice due to penis size issues, but those can be fixed with sufficient warming up/turning on. So assuming that there isn't something physically wrong (waves *see a doctor* flag) down there, slow down, relax, more foreplay and intimacy before starting anything penetrative.


----------



## Codger

Snakecharmer said:


> Do any of you ever feel like a man who is pursuing you is out of your league? Are there certain men you avoid for that reason?
> 
> When certain kinds of men flirt with me, I'm skeptical. I know I'm okay looking, but men in my age range (40s) could probably date women in their late 20s - early 30s, so why would they want me?
> 
> I think mid-forties is a tough age for women.
> 
> I'm cautious and I don't date much, despite being asked quite a bit.





Snakecharmer said:


> I said mid 40s. I'm 43. LOL


Pffft, still one of the hottest pieces of ass on this forum. 

Said with all gentlemanly respect.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Codger said:


> Pffft, still one of the hottest pieces of ass on this forum.
> 
> Said with all gentlemanly respect.


LOL! Thanks


----------



## qingdom

How many stuffed animals do you possess? 

And has there been a time where you "grew out of it" or perhaps never did and you still have whatever childhood stuffy with you still due to sentimental values such that you do not discard it?


----------



## Jennywocky

qingdom said:


> How many stuffed animals do you possess?


When I was growing up, I had a number of stuffed animals, and they all had a designated place around me while I slept. (One of them even slept on my stomach.) One of my favorites, though, was one I had made in Home Ec, from a kit: A fuzzy green T-Rex. I think by high school, they were all moved, except for a few favorites who stayed in the room somewhere.



> And has there been a time where you "grew out of it" or perhaps never did and you still have whatever childhood stuffy with you still due to sentimental values such that you do not discard it?


I'd like to see if my mom still has them, since she'll be selling the house within a few months... especially my T-Rex.

I actually have a few stuffed animals here (odd ones) that I love, although they don't sleep on my bed.

I gave away my orangutan, but I still have a large fuzzy elephant that sits in the corner, and I have this huge great white shark I bought at IKEA (he's 3-4' long, I think.) The cat keeps his paws away from the shark's mouth. I tend to like the quirky ones.


----------



## HellCat

qingdom said:


> How many stuffed animals do you possess?
> 
> And has there been a time where you "grew out of it" or perhaps never did and you still have whatever childhood stuffy with you still due to sentimental values such that you do not discard it?


I have random beanie babies lizards, lion, skink, parrots decorating my room which is like a jungle. 

I really miss my mermaid. My grandmother crocheted me a mermaid doll when I was six. She was three ft long, had a hard doll body and doll hair and a soft plushy green and sequined tail I used to beat my brother with and I told her every thought because I was not much of a talker. I lost her at 20 and it was somewhat traumatic. Because it was the only tangible evidence I have had of someones affection. 

I still have my very first Easter bunny, its missing an arm, an ear.. a soft yellow with pastel belly and white furry feet.


----------



## Jennywocky

Snakecharmer said:


> Do any of you ever feel like a man who is pursuing you is out of your league? Are there certain men you avoid for that reason?
> 
> When certain kinds of men flirt with me, I'm skeptical. I know I'm okay looking, but men in my age range (40s) could probably date women in their late 20s - early 30s, so why would they want me?
> 
> I think mid-forties is a tough age for women.
> 
> I'm cautious and I don't date much, despite being asked quite a bit.


A lot of the hits I get on OKC, etc., are from guys in their mid/late 40's and older. I know i get them because I look a lot younger than my mid-40's, and my age is there as part of the site... so of course they think I'm in their age league, but I typically don't find them interesting in terms of personality, my personality meshes better with people in their 30's. 

I haven't really had any "clicks" and I don't care enough to invest the time anymore to date unless it's someone who shares interests with me, and a lot of the guys don't -- they just write me when they see my face, and it gets old.


----------



## carlaviii

qingdom said:


> How many stuffed animals do you possess?
> 
> And has there been a time where you "grew out of it" or perhaps never did and you still have whatever childhood stuffy with you still due to sentimental values such that you do not discard it?


I have one bear, Nick, who was my last teddy bear. I bought him in high school and slept with him through college. A few years back, I knit a bunch of sweaters for him and now he sits on the chair in my bedroom keeping an eye on things. 

My childhood animals are probably somewhere in my parents' house, but I don't know where.


----------



## drmiller100

Snakecharmer said:


> Do any of you ever feel like a man who is pursuing you is out of your league? Are there certain men you avoid for that reason?
> 
> When certain kinds of men flirt with me, I'm skeptical. I know I'm okay looking, but men in my age range (40s) could probably date women in their late 20s - early 30s, so why would they want me?
> 
> I think mid-forties is a tough age for women.
> 
> I'm cautious and I don't date much, despite being asked quite a bit.


I am 46. From one of my personal ads. 
***********
I dream of finding a brilliant, confident, powerful woman who chooses to spend time with me. She will be mature, probably in her 40's or early 50's, and has her life put together.
She is proud of her accomplishments, is comfortable discussing issues, and can respect differing opinions. She cares more about how she is treated than my income, she loves her job, and walks away from toxicity. She volunteers quietly to help others, and is happy single. However, she is healthy enough she would consider spending time with a special man to see how things go.
***********

There is no one within 300 miles of me. There is one in Florida, 2 in Canada, one in southern Cal, 3 in the midwest.

I have two more years here, then I will take my search nation wide, and start travelling. I'm not in a rush. The lady I look for is probably an INFJ, ENFJ, or possibly an ENTP.

Snakecharmer. You are a rare creature, but you do need to internalize how special you truly are and gain the arrogance and confidence which you deserve.


----------



## drmiller100

LeoCat said:


> I Because it was the only tangible evidence I have had of someones affection.
> 
> I


Hugs


----------



## Snakecharmer

drmiller100 said:


> I am 46. From one of my personal ads.
> ***********
> I dream of finding a brilliant, confident, powerful woman who chooses to spend time with me. She will be mature, probably in her 40's or early 50's, and has her life put together.
> She is proud of her accomplishments, is comfortable discussing issues, and can respect differing opinions. She cares more about how she is treated than my income, she loves her job, and walks away from toxicity. She volunteers quietly to help others, and is happy single. However, she is healthy enough she would consider spending time with a special man to see how things go.
> ***********
> 
> There is no one within 300 miles of me. There is one in Florida, 2 in Canada, one in southern Cal, 3 in the midwest.
> 
> I have two more years here, then I will take my search nation wide, and start travelling. I'm not in a rush. The lady I look for is probably an INFJ, ENFJ, or possibly an ENTP.
> 
> Snakecharmer. You are a rare creature, but you do need to internalize how special you truly are and gain the arrogance and confidence which you deserve.


That ad is brilliant.

And thanks :wink:


----------



## drmiller100

Snakecharmer said:


> That ad is brilliant.
> 
> And thanks :wink:


Are you pretty? Are you smart? Are you kind?


----------



## Snakecharmer

drmiller100 said:


> Are you pretty? Are you smart? Are you kind?


Not sure - I think I'm usually sorta dorky

Yes

Most of the time


----------



## drmiller100

Snakecharmer said:


> Not sure - I think I'm usually sorta dorky
> 
> Yes
> 
> Most of the time


2 out of three. The first you are wrong. Until you fix that you will date dipshits.


----------



## petite libellule

What is the most irritating thing(s) that men do or don't do in your world ?

What is the most irritating thing(s) women do or don't do in your world ?


----------



## drmiller100

NK said:


> What is the most irritating thing(s) women do or don't do in your world ?


Self bash about looks. 
dang near all women do it. Pisses me off to no end.

i give them the important opinion. Why do they argue?


----------



## HellCat

drmiller100 said:


> Self bash about looks.
> dang near all women do it. Pisses me off to no end.
> 
> i give them the important opinion. Why do they argue?


LOL your so arrogant. Hugs!


----------



## Shale

NK said:


> What is the most irritating thing(s) that men do or don't do in your world ?


He eats everything. It's annoying, but not that big of a deal. I'm glad this is all I could think of. LOL


----------



## HellCat

NK said:


> What is the most irritating thing(s) that men do or don't do in your world ?
> 
> What is the most irritating thing(s) women do or don't do in your world ?


1. Trust me. They never trust me. Always think I'm some evil black widow fucking succubus. 
2. Gossip and act like hateful catty bitches. Yes even unattractive very out of shape women can wound deeply to someone more symmetrical and dedicated to their fitness level.


----------



## Bloodbraid

What does it mean to be feminine?


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Bloodbraid said:


> What does it mean to be feminine?


Hard thing to define. 

I guess it's not as simple to say 'one who has a uterus' because those who may have uteruses and breasts and 'feminine' parts may not feel like a girl/woman at all. I think femininity is different to every one. Just like what it means to be masculine is different to every one. To me to be feminine is to be graceful and classy in every day life but I think everyone should aspire to be so..really. Sorry, that reply didn't help at all haha


----------



## Cetanu

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Hard thing to define.
> 
> I guess it's not as simple to say 'one who has a uterus' because those who may have uteruses and breasts and 'feminine' parts may not feel like a girl/woman at all. I think femininity is different to every one. Just like what it means to be masculine is different to every one. To me to be feminine is to be graceful and classy in every day life but I think everyone should aspire to be so..really. Sorry, that reply didn't help at all haha


How would you respond if an all-male group tried to redefine what femininity is for the world?


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Cetanu said:


> How would you respond if an all-male group tried to redefine what femininity is for the world?


In terms of looks or...? I don't really understand your question sorry.


----------



## drmiller100

LeoCat said:


> LOL your so arrogant. Hugs!


Takes one to know one!!!!!
hugs back


----------



## Bloodbraid

Nearly everyday I shake my head, sigh, or scratch my head in an attempt to understand something about women. What is the point of women's clothing? I see little function since most pants only have about enough room to fit a pack of gum in them. 

I've heard that women wear stuff like that to look more attractive, but doesn't that just make you into an object or an one dimensional being that current feminism is trying to stop from happening?


----------



## HellCat

Bloodbraid said:


> Nearly everyday I shake my head, sigh, or scratch my head in an attempt to understand something about women. What is the point of women's clothing? I see little function since most pants only have about enough room to fit a pack of gum in them.
> 
> I've heard that women wear stuff like that to look more attractive, but doesn't that just make you into an object or an one dimensional being that current feminism is trying to stop from happening?


No function-pockets make hips look wide. Your only an object or one dimensional being if you are dressing up to attract men. Some of us do it for ourselves. Same reason we played with Barbies. The fashion was fun.


----------



## Bloodbraid

LeoCat said:


> No function-pockets make hips look wide. Your only an object or one dimensional being if you are dressing up to attract men. Some of us do it for ourselves. Same reason we played with Barbies. The fashion was fun.


So it makes you look cool?


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Bloodbraid said:


> Nearly everyday I shake my head, sigh, or scratch my head in an attempt to understand something about women. What is the point of women's clothing? I see little function since most pants only have about enough room to fit a pack of gum in them.
> 
> I've heard that women wear stuff like that to look more attractive, but doesn't that just make you into an object or an one dimensional being that current feminism is trying to stop from happening?


Well, you're presuming these women are dressing for men's attention. Maybe they find that more comfortable. I don't know. I personally don't like wearing tight clothing or anything partly 'cause I don't like the attention they bring and it's not comfortable for me.

I feel the same way when I see women walking in ridiculously high heels. Why? They look so painful.


----------



## Snakecharmer

stargazing grasshopper said:


> I'm curious how you'd describe an erotically fulfilling evening? I'm not seeking a detailed description of acts performed but rather your state of mind & body, is your soul content.
> Do you feel as though your being has been completely satiated or are you denied erotic pleasures which you secretly desire?


Good conversation, a little wine, nice atmosphere, slooooowwwww build up to the good stuff. 

It's been a few months though, so yeah. lol


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

Jennywocky said:


> Considering it's been over three years since i had sex.... well. ha!


You're an informed, witty & funny gal on these threads. 
Those qualities are desirable in a partner, so unless you're an inmate at a women's correctional facility (LOL just kidding) I can't imagine you're not getting your needs met.
I suspect you're putting me on?


----------



## Snakecharmer

NK said:


> What is the most irritating thing(s) that men do or don't do in your world ?
> 
> What is the most irritating thing(s) women do or don't do in your world ?


How much time do you have? :laughing:

Men: 

I don't like it when they: Treat me like a potential hookup. Try to sext me. Think I'm stupid and that they are going to get one over on me (ain't gonna happen). Whine. Complain. Bitch about my schedule. Complain about me not watching sports. Try to get me to drink more/more often. Assume I'm like every other woman they've dated, or like a "stereotypical" female.

I don't like it when they don't: Listen to me when I'm talking to them. Follow through. 

Women:

I don't like it when they: Are catty, bitchy, gossipy. Talk about soaps or the Kardashians or whatever celebrity they are obsessed with. Bring down other women. Attention-whore. Rely on men to make them feel good about themselves or for stability. 

I don't like it when they don't: Value themselves and their intelligence and strength.


----------



## Jennywocky

stargazing grasshopper said:


> You're an informed, witty & funny gal on these threads.
> Those qualities are desirable in a partner, so unless you're an inmate at a women's correctional facility (LOL just kidding) I can't imagine you're not getting your needs met.
> I suspect you're putting me on?


... well, I know one way for you to make sure it's not true. :laughing:


But no, I don't know anyone I'm interested in, and my social life at the moment is work and going home.


----------



## Jennywocky

isingthebodyelectric said:


> I don't think it's good if men are presuming women are dressing for them.


^That.
^That.
^That.

I'll wear what I want for me, because I happen to like what I'm wearing or I'm comfortable in what I'm wearing.


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

Snakecharmer said:


> Well, walking around naked is sorta frowned upon in most places.


I'll assume you've never been to Vermont. The first time I went camping in Vermont was an "eye opener" & the term "ski-bunnies" takes on a whole new meaning over there . 
Public nudity is legal in Vermont, though not disrobing in public.[SUP] (meaning that you or I could legally walk nude into a shopping mall but we'd receive a ticket for disrobing within that same mall)[/SUP] Within the State, thousands of nudists and skinny dippers gather for non-sexual nude recreation each year.
Since 2005 Vermont hosts an annual nude bike ride through the streets of Burlington, there are some gorgeous friendly people but there's also the occasional need for eye-bleach LOL.


----------



## drmiller100

Snakecharmer said:


> We do it because society has set unrealistic standards for female beauty.
> 
> See Why We Have An Absolutely Ridiculous Standard Of Beauty In Just 37 Seconds




I really don't give a flying fuck about society.


----------



## drmiller100

stargazing grasshopper said:


> You're an informed, witty & funny gal on these threads.
> Those qualities are desirable in a partner, so unless you're an inmate at a women's correctional facility (LOL just kidding) I can't imagine you're not getting your needs met.
> I suspect you're putting me on?


Puzzling to me. Smokin' brilliant, sexy ladies who don't have decent guys.

hmmmmm.............


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Yeah that really bothers me about them. A lot of them just look at us like 'parts'


You've got us guys pegged all wrong. Though some of us possess the attention span of a caveman & are capable of only focusing upon one aspect of your beauty at a time, the vast majority of my gender seriously appreciates all which comprises a woman. 
I've exhibited isolated incidents of ignorance over the years but I love most everything regarding a woman's mind, body & spirit. 
Though I despise sports bras for depriving me of potential notable memories, please don't consider all of us to be jackasses that are only concerned with your girl parts. 

Thanks for your consideration


----------



## .17485

Hi women, I want to get your opinion about my OKCupid Profile. I've had it for a while now. Here's the link OkCupid | Tega4u / 22 / M / New Cross, United Kingdom I put some of my key interests and hobbies. I just want to know what are the good points and bad points of my profile. Is it good enough to get a date or attract the type of woman I want to meet?


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

What type of woman do you want to meet? 

I would take out the 'you ladies would like to meet' part. It's somewhat declarative. I like your picture. You write really well so that's great to see and like explaining stuff you like, which is great. Good points is that you seem like a friendly approachable person. Bad points is maybe take out some of the MBTI stuff? Some people might not be interested in it maybe? 

But I like your profile on the whole


----------



## iloveusarita

What is your honest view of modern dating culture?

Do you think modern concepts of gender relations a paradox? By that, I mean we rightfully value gender equality, but do women still see us men as being the "leaders" in relationships?


----------



## carlaviii

askneelsa said:


> What is your honest view of modern dating culture?
> 
> Do you think modern concepts of gender relations a paradox? By that, I mean we rightfully value gender equality, but do women still see us men as being the "leaders" in relationships?


I'm still a noob to modern dating culture, so I don't know if I can say anything useful about that. 

Modern gender relations are, I think, more personality-based than gender-based -- which is good, but more complicated than the old stereotypes. Having the old ways hanging around doesn't help, either, but people can only change so fast. It's interesting, I think, how dependent relationships are on good communication now, when we are both far more able to communicate (through technology) but our socialization is changing in ways that make it more difficult to communicate (social isolation because of our technology.)


----------



## android654

How similar is too similar? Meaning: How similar to you does someone have to be for you to consider them as friends or partners? How different?



stargazing grasshopper said:


> Though I despise sports bras for depriving me of potential notable memories, please don't consider all of us to be jackasses that are only concerned with your girl parts.


FWIW sports bras look better more often than not.


----------



## Jennywocky

drmiller100 said:


> Puzzling to me. Smokin' brilliant, sexy ladies who don't have decent guys.
> 
> hmmmmm.............


I guess I don't need to be in a relationship unless it's someone I'm really into. 

I know some guys I consider "nice" -- they are decent, smart guys -- but I've tried dating men who I just find "nice" and there is no attraction. It's not fair to them nor to me to waste our time, if I can sense they want a romantic relationship. After my experiences casual dating, I don't tend to do that; I can tell how I interact with someone whether I'm attracted to them. Typically if I go out, I'm no more attracted to them, and then I'm stuck in the position of having to break things off after they might think I'm interested because I bothered to go out with them at all. 

The last person I actually was attracted to was the person I was with 3-4 years ago, and I just haven't met someone who (1) I'm attracted to and (2) who is available at this point. I'm not a 20-something; many people in my age bracket are already hitched.


----------



## Jennywocky

askneelsa said:


> What is your honest view of modern dating culture?
> 
> Do you think modern concepts of gender relations a paradox? By that, I mean we rightfully value gender equality, but do women still see us men as being the "leaders" in relationships?


I think that is a good question, it's just hard to formulate an answer. I'm going to ramble a bit. Maybe I will go somewhere, maybe I won't. 

Yes, foundationally, I believe people (including both genders) are fundamentally equal in relationships, yet equal doesn't necessarily mean things look alike or both people do the exact same things / perform the same functions in the relationship. 

I'm not sure that "leader" is the best word, as there are various ways to lead and it automatically adds a hierarchy to what should be a mutual relationship. Would "initiator" be an acceptable term instead? There does seem to be a male disposition to engage, act, initiate. There seems to be a tendency among women to initiate in other ways and appear more receptive. Is it cultural or innate? I don't know, as both influence the other. I also see situations where women indirectly initiate and where men kind of drift along, wanting to look like the initiator but typically waiting for impetus from the female partner.

It wouldn't be surprising if there were some inherent drives, as humans are creatures, and in the animal kingdom, in mating, we also see various patterns in a species that are gender-defined. One gender is more colorful or attracting, or one gender initiates and the other is more the responder, etc. I guess with human beings we fear losing out on that sense of "equal" if we admit there could be differences.

For me personally, I don't put it past myself to initiate something or express interest in a guy if I find him attractive, although I tend to do it more indirectly by responding to his cues in very positive ways. (It really depends. I've found I can't really put myself in a box, I adjust to a situation. If there is something I want and it isn't going to happen otherwise, I will come out and just state it.) If I'm not sure or I'm not interested, my responses are muted / non-existent. So maybe I expect him to initiate / show interest at least as an equally interested party.

In my last relationship, the growing interest was mutual, but I was actually the one who took the first step to move it into a romantic relationship. I didn't mind at the time, and it was even rather a rush. At the same time, it wasn't all positive; one thing I didn't like about my partner was the timidity, I felt like he was the more fragile one and was more prone to avoid hurt, and I felt like I had to initiate things and take the risks. However, he felt comfortable, he was good at caring for me. So it kind of worked for the amount of time it did.

I don't know if that answered anything. I can't really speak for others. We're all different. For me, I like some initiative from my partner, but I also hate feeling like he's pushing me around all the time and constantly putting me in a position where I either have to go along or stand him off; "equal" partners and respect is important. I need him to be able to handle any times where I initiate.


----------



## drmiller100

Tega1 said:


> Hi women, I want to get your opinion about my OKCupid Profile. I've had it for a while now. Here's the link OkCupid | Tega4u / 22 / M / New Cross, United Kingdom I put some of my key interests and hobbies. I just want to know what are the good points and bad points of my profile. Is it good enough to get a date or attract the type of woman I want to meet?


from a marketing standpoint, you have a couple of typos, which bug me. and get a better pic with no hat, and a smile.


----------



## drmiller100

Jennywocky said:


> I
> 
> I know some guys I consider "nice" -- they are decent, smart guys -- but I've tried dating men who I just find "nice" and there is no attraction. It's not fair to them nor to me to waste our time, if I can sense they want a romantic relationship. After my experiences casual dating, I don't tend to do that; I can tell how I interact with someone whether I'm attracted to them. Typically if I go out, I'm no more attracted to them, and then I'm stuck in the position of having to break things off after they might think I'm interested because I bothered to go out with them at all.
> 
> The last person I actually was attracted to was the person I was with 3-4 years ago, and I just haven't met someone who (1) I'm attracted to and (2) who is available at this point. I'm not a 20-something; many people in my age bracket are already hitched.


I have been studying Chakra's. My throat is well developed, my gut well developed, and my heart is stunted. I am working on it.

If I could find a confident, strong woman as a friend, I would like to learn more about my heart. In return, I could help the friend develop her throat or her gut.


----------



## Jennywocky

drmiller100 said:


> I have been studying Chakra's. My throat is well developed, my gut well developed, and my heart is stunted. I am working on it.
> 
> If I could find a confident, strong woman as a friend, I would like to learn more about my heart. In return, I could help the friend develop her throat or her gut.


That's great for self-enlightenment and improvement, as well as for friendship; it just doesn't necessarily a romantic relationship make, in my experience. (Been there, done that.)


----------



## drmiller100

Jennywocky said:


> That's great for self-enlightenment and improvement, as well as for friendship; it just doesn't necessarily a romantic relationship make, in my experience. (Been there, done that.)


of course. It does NOT make for romantic at all ever.
Did you see my comments on truth in the other thread?


----------



## Vic

Helluva dream.

What do you ride/plan to ride?


----------



## phony

Do you want to have children? Why or why not?

What are your thoughts on adoption?


----------



## FallingSlowly

Vic said:


> Helluva dream.
> 
> What do you ride/plan to ride?


I ride a Honda CBR 600RR at the moment, which is more of a sports bike. Not the best for trips like that (mainly considering the riding position now, the rest can be dealt with). I'd probably do my back and my wrists in


----------



## carlaviii

phony said:


> Do you want to have children? Why or why not?
> 
> What are your thoughts on adoption?


I've always been very lukewarm on the idea of children. While I was married, that became a "no, bad idea, not going to happen" but now that I'm on my way out of that... I'm back to lukewarm. At my age, it's late to start being a mom. It's a _lot_ of work, though I get that it's extremely rewarding too. I don't have reliable income and not much in the way of assistance, but I know there are worse things in the world than growing up poor. 

So no, I don't particularly want children. 

Adoption ought to be easier, IMO. There are zero checks for competency, income, or anything else on biological parents so I'm not clear on why adoptees need to jump through so many hoops. Some are necessary, yes -- don't want hoarders or abusers to have victims on tap -- but the length of the process seems ridiculous to me.


----------



## .17485

Can a man and a woman only be friends?


----------



## Wellsy

A series of questions from French series "Bouillon de Culture" with Host Bernard Pivot, now well know to be used by James Lipton on Inside The Actors Studio at the end of each show.

1. What is your favorite word?

2. What is your least favorite word?

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

4. What turns you off?

5. What is your favorite curse word?

6. What sound/noise do you love?

7. What sound/noise do you hate?

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

9. What profession would you not like to do?

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

*1. What is your favorite word?*
Slumber.

*2. What is your least favorite word?*
I'm not sure..

*3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?*
Kindness, genuinity, intelligence.

*4. What turns you off?*
Arrogance, no intellectual curiousity, people who are willing to go through life ignorant and dumb.

*5. What is your favorite curse word?*
Bollocks.

*6. What sound/noise do you love?*
My favourite music, children/people laughing.

*7. What sound/noise do you hate?*
Anyone/thing in pain. Any alarm clock.

*8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?*
Psychology.

*9. What profession would you not like to do?*
Anything athletic. 

*10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?*
I don't believe in any God so I can't say..


----------



## peabrane

*1. What is your favorite word?*
Fun.

*2. What is your least favorite word?*
Rape.
*
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?*
Engaging stories, emotive music, fresh smells, interesting facts and ideas, humor, stormy weather, unusualness, beauty.
*
4. What turns you off?*
Cruelty, negativity, bad smells, pushiness, dishonesty, arrogance, crassness.

*5. What is your favorite curse word?*
Fuck.

*6. What sound/noise do you love?*
Wind, rain, waves, rustling leaves, thunder, laughter, purring, music.

*7. What sound/noise do you hate?*
Construction work, vacuum cleaner, snoring, alarm clock, crying, screaming, nails on glass.
*
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?*
Driver, librarian, actor, EMT, pilot, research psychologist.
*
9. What profession would you not like to do?*
Judge, lawyer, salesperson, grief counselor.
*
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?*
Don't care. As long as it's not something like "well Heaven isn't quite as nice a place to live as Earth". Unless that's followed by "psych! It's the most awesome place ever".


----------



## HellCat

Wellsy said:


> A series of questions from French series "Bouillon de Culture" with Host Bernard Pivot, now well know to be used by James Lipton on Inside The Actors Studio at the end of each show.


1. What is your favorite word?

enchanted

2. What is your least favorite word?
Pop. I do not like the hard P sound. I say soda instead. 

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Being bested intellectually. wit and humor. Beautiful landscapes with ferns, blue green foliage, moss, waterfalls and stones. I love moss. 

4. What turns you off? willfully stupid people. 
Lying! Secrets! being treated like a dangerous controlled substance and not a person. 

5. What is your favorite curse word?
cunt! I love the hard K. Also fuck! I swear worse than most pirates. 

6. What sound/noise do you love?
my aquarium. my parrot blowing kisses

7. What sound/noise do you hate?
static noises, ticking clocks drive me insane, the loud fan on my pc but I am getting used to sleeping with it. 

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
personal trainer. 


9. What profession would you not like to do?
mathematician 


10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
We DO have a tree house up here.


----------



## Sina

A series of questions from French series "Bouillon de Culture" with Host Bernard Pivot, now well know to be used by James Lipton on Inside The Actors Studio at the end of each show.

* 1. What is your favorite word?*

Inquilaabi (revolutionary in farsi/urdu)
I love how it sounds. I like the words "sensual" and "aroused", as well. 

* 2. What is your least favorite word?*

horny 

"tits" a close second
*
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?*

Creatively - well written poems with strong sexual themes, politically conscious poetry and art in general, the sound of percussion instruments

Spiritually - tantra, Vajrayana Buddhism

Emotionally - Sensitivity, Receptiveness, Attentiveness, Empathy, Great Listening Skills, Nurturance (not smothering)

* 4. What turns you off?*

Unprovoked cruelty, Intellectual laziness, Lack of objectivity, Prejudice, Insecurity culminating in flaily aggression or cowardly withdrawal, indirectness, country music, wannabe variety of western 'hindus' and 'buddhists' -- predominantly young white college age hipsters who don't have a damn clue what these philosophies truly constitute, the opposite of what turns me on emotionally, immaturity, talking big delivering little to nothing, lack of intensity/passion and strong opinions, pig-headedness
*
5. What is your favorite curse word?*

cunt

* 6. What sound/noise do you love?*

I love the sounds of rain on a tin roof, crackling fire, a stream, a partner moaning in ecstasy. 

* 7. What sound/noise do you hate?*

Death metal
Nails on a chalkboard

* 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?*

Lead an army 

Write award winning erotic thrillers lolz

Professor of Political Science

* 9. What profession would you not like to do?*

Flip burgers, clean bathrooms, clean stables and ..the list is rather long
*
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?*

God: "Mmmm...I'd smack that."

Then, I'd whip out my strap on and do things to God (the Abrahamic God anyway) he wouldn't care for. 
:laughing:


----------



## carlaviii

Wellsy said:


> A series of questions from French series "Bouillon de Culture" with Host Bernard Pivot, now well know to be used by James Lipton on Inside The Actors Studio at the end of each show.


*1. What is your favorite word?
*I like a lot of words. Pickle. Continuum. Reticulation. Discombobulated.

*2. What is your least favorite word?
*I've never liked the sound of "bow" as in "take a bow." The archery weapon is, however, no problem.

*3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
*Hope. I think that's the common root in faith, desire, and the need to create.

*4. What turns you off?
*Lack of feedback. You can tell me no, you can insult me all you like, but lack of context is what will bother me.

*5. What is your favorite curse word?
*"Unclefucker" still makes me laugh

*6. What sound/noise do you love?
*Purring. The swish of dry leaves as I walk through them. The crunch that dry snow makes. 

*7. What sound/noise do you hate?
*Beeping alarms, screaming, phones ringing.

*8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
*OK, try not to laugh: courtesan

*9. What profession would you not like to do?
*Working in a call center, whether sales or customer service, would be my own special hell. I'm not fond of phones to begin with (and the feeling is mutual) and I don't like listening to people complain. 

*10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
*"I'm going to explain everything" would be a good start, lol. "All your cats are waiting for you over by the knitting emporium and the whisky-tasting lounge" sounds good too.


----------



## Christie42476

*1. What is your favorite word?*

I don't have just one, as I _love _words. Some favorites: _transcendent, serene, catharsis, discombobulated, connection, perspicacity, vivid, visceral, erotic, power, affinity, synergy, expression, animated, juxtaposition, effervesce, sinuous, intensity, vivacity, love. _

*2. What is your least favorite word?*

They are many and vile, but I'd prefer not to type them because, well, they're gross. But worse to me than particular words are the manipulative and abusive things people sometimes do with them. Any word that gets hurled at you as an unfavorable label in order to intimidate you out of voicing your true feelings or opinions makes my "least favorite" list.

*3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
*
_Creatively_: Dark themes with tinges of light that you see only if you're really looking for them.

For both "_spiritually_" and "_emotionally_," the answer is much the same: a sort of "connectedness" that doesn't come at the expense of one's individual self; that precious balance between being the essential you, but still being deeply bonded to or even interwoven with someone or something else. 

Spiritually, that tends to come to me more as a "We're each an integral and yet separate part of a greater whole" feeling, while, emotionally, it's more about there being an intensity, fluidity, and authenticity of connection with another person.

*4. What turns you off?*

Disloyalty, breaches of trust and other acts of significant dishonesty, excessive crudity (some crudity is fun and funny but too much is just gross), cruelty, being embroiled in public spectacles of any kind, and romantic contrivance. That last bit is because I perceive it as anathema to authenticity, as being far less sincere and meaningful, and as potentially harboring an ulterior motive -- as perhaps being about "impressing" the person you claim to love and/or the other people in your lives instead of about demonstrating your affection. So I'm put off by major, orchestrated "displays" of love and devotion. I prefer smaller, subtler expressions done, if not always spontaneously, then with less grand premeditation.

*5. What is your favorite curse word?*

Fuck, of course. Versatile, cathartic, intense. Love that word. Sometimes, no other word will do.

*6. What sound/noise do you love?*

People laughing, especially little kids and particularly when they've really lost it. So adorable and funny.

Rain. Thunder and lightning storms. The ocean. The wind when it's snowing.

Anything erotic.

Great music. Unusual and raw singing voices. Violins, acoustic guitars, and pianos.

Wolves howling. There's just something kind of mournful and lonely in the sound that deeply moves me for some reason.

*7. What sound/noise do you hate?*

Screaming and/or tantruming. 

Dogs barking or growling. 

Fingernails on a chalkboard. 

Screeching tires.

Grief-stricken sobbing.

Silence, with that weird undercurrent of almost electrical-like humming that comes with it. 

*8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?*

Author. 

Criminal profiling. 

*9. What profession would you not like to do?*

Anything involving sales or aggressive physical contact with other people.

*10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
*
"Your life was just Phase 1. Time for Phase 2."


----------



## WillyT

This is NOT a troll post. I too am older. I'm asking due to a generational divide. How do you keep your pubic hair?


----------



## monemi

Looks like a backlog of questions people have been waiting with baited breaths. :tongue:



qingdom said:


> How many stuffed animals do you possess?
> 
> And has there been a time where you "grew out of it" or perhaps never did and you still have whatever childhood stuffy with you still due to sentimental values such that you do not discard it?


I don't own any stuffed animals or teddies of any kind. I didn't play with stuffed animals as a kid and oddly enough, my kids have never shown any interest in stuffed animals anyone's bought for them. They're really not interesting. 



NK said:


> What is the most irritating thing(s) that men do or don't do in your world ?
> 
> What is the most irritating thing(s) women do or don't do in your world ?


Long discussions about their bowels. I don't give a fuck about your bowels and I don't find them funny.

Gushing about something they're excited about. Enthusiasm has limits. 



Bloodbraid said:


> What does it mean to be feminine?


Femininity is a social construct outside of biology. It isn't uniform in nature, much as masculinity isn't uniform. A general preference in interest for people, nurturing, softness etc... It varies by person and culture and therefore isn't static. 



Bloodbraid said:


> Nearly everyday I shake my head, sigh, or scratch my head in an attempt to understand something about women. What is the point of women's clothing? I see little function since most pants only have about enough room to fit a pack of gum in them.
> 
> I've heard that women wear stuff like that to look more attractive, but doesn't that just make you into an object or an one dimensional being that current feminism is trying to stop from happening?


Some of us just didn't grow out of dress up. What's the point of batman's costume? He can't turn turn his head. What's the point of ties? What's the point of men's fashions? 



isingthebodyelectric said:


> Well, you're presuming these women are dressing for men's attention. Maybe they find that more comfortable. I don't know. I personally don't like wearing tight clothing or anything partly 'cause I don't like the attention they bring and it's not comfortable for me.
> 
> I feel the same way when I see women walking in ridiculously high heels. Why? They look so painful.


How high is ridiculous? I like being tall. The more nervous I was, the more likely I am to pick out my highest heels. I don't like being towered over. Plus they look pretty.


----------



## monemi

1. What is your favorite word? *Yes. I love getting what I want. :happy:*

2. What is your least favorite word?* Should. "You should do this or you should do that." Did you just should me? Go should yourself. *

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? *People. Is there anything more inspiring than people? Interacting with them via talking/dancing/arguing/laughing/crying/running/walking/drawing/writing with them? People give me my best ideas and push me to do more. *

4. What turns you off? *Being trapped. I can handle small spaces, as long as I know I can get out. I don't like being trapped by circumstance, people or whatever else. *

5. What is your favorite curse word? *Fuck. Who doesn't like fucking? Who doesn't enjoy fucking with people? I disagree that fucked should be used to describe negative things. Fuck is great! Fucking eh!
*
6. What sound/noise do you love? *Birds chirping. I like figuring out the species by sound. *

7. What sound/noise do you hate? *Crying. *

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? *Professional climber. *

9. What profession would you not like to do?* Teacher*

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? *An apology for being the cruelest jerk in existence. 
*


----------



## monemi

WillyT said:


> This is NOT a troll post. I too am older. I'm asking due to a generational divide. How do you keep your pubic hair?


Just wax bikini line.


----------



## qingdom

Do you use Bad Date Rescue Calls?

Do you help your girlfriends out with Bad Date Rescue Calls?

Have you ever been rescued from a bad date with a planned call?

Has there been times when the bad date rescue call didn't work?

If you never had used a bad date rescue call, would you consider it now that you do know?


----------



## WillyT

....


----------



## WillyT

monemi said:


> Just wax bikini line.



Yes, that's hot.


----------



## phony

Wellsy said:


> A series of questions from French series "Bouillon de Culture" with Host Bernard Pivot, now well know to be used by James Lipton on Inside The Actors Studio at the end of each show.


*1. What is your favorite word?*
"Mesh", "Petulant" or "Fuck".

*2. What is your least favorite word?*
"Bertha". "Rules".

*3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?*
Honesty, connection, sincerity, openness.

*4. What turns you off?*
Pretentiousness, apathy, ignorance.

*5. What is your favorite curse word?
*"Fuck" because I think it's a pretty word.

*6. What sound/noise do you love?*
My boyfriend's noises, bed creaking, the sea, (some) laughs.

*7. What sound/noise do you hate?*
Clocks ticking (UGHHH), when you scratch styrofoam.

*8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
*Lol I don't work :/ I'd like trying to be an au pair, a personal assistant, a party planner.

*9. What profession would you not like to do?*
Anything to do with economics or finance. "Business", like whatthefuckdoesthatevenmeanman. Being a soldier.
*
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?*
"Surprised?" or "Saved you a seat".


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

DemonD said:


> Is there a difference in the levels of pleasure received from pressure applied to the..."ceiling"(no idea what word to use) vs. the bottom of the vagina? Sides?


I'm no expert or wannabe know it all regarding women, in my experience you'll need to adapt to each woman's preference because every woman is unique in some subtle way. Individual preferences are a good thing if you're willing to learn a woman's body rather than just screwing her for your pleasure. 

I was never too inhibited to ask a woman for direction if she wasn't responding, I appreciate a woman's guidance rather than she endure my inexperience.

The women that I've been intimate with appeared to immensely enjoy having their g-spot caressed & stroked while receiving oral.
If you take your time warming a women up, help her reach trembling orgasms, she may then enjoy the intensity of having her cervix stimulated during intercourse.

If she's inexperienced or otherwise unable to vocalize what gets her purring, you've stumbled upon the opportunity to explore together.


----------



## Jennywocky

emy said:


> Have you ever wanted to be with another woman?


On occasion, there might be someone I'd like to kiss, but overall not in a romantic relationship, it doesn't really work for me. However, I can experience very deep feelings of connection to my closest female friends.


----------



## monemi

emy said:


> Have you ever wanted to be with another woman?


Yes and I did. I've had 2 short relationships with women.



DemonD said:


> Is there a difference in the levels of pleasure received from pressure applied to the..."ceiling"(no idea what word to use) vs. the bottom of the vagina? Sides?


I prefer girth to length. I don't like too much pressure against the cervix (ceiling) because it feels uncomfortable for me. Too long is a problem for me. I'm not sure if that answers your question.

I'd say this is highly variable given that vagina's, like penis's vary in size and shape.


----------



## drmiller100

monemi said:


> Yes and I did. I've had 2 short relationships with women.
> 
> 
> 
> .


Pics?


----------



## monemi

drmiller100 said:


> Pics?


Pics of what? Girls hanging out? Yeah, those wouldn't be interesting enough to find, scan and post without their permission.


----------



## petite libellule

monemi said:


> Pics of what? Girls hanging out? Yeah, those wouldn't be interesting enough to find, scan and post without their permission.


don't mind him. he's just trying to make ends meat. 
on occasion doc spams up the forum attempting to sell pics of his ham.

you just need to slap his hand and say, NO! No spamming your ham!

then he'll go away for about 3-6 weeks until he runs out of cash again.

best just to be compassionate about these things and not take personal offense or anything.


----------



## HellCat

NK said:


> don't mind him. he's just trying to make ends meat.
> on occasion doc spams up the forum attempting to sell pics of his ham.
> 
> you just need to slap his hand and say, NO! No spamming your ham!
> 
> then he'll go away for about 3-6 weeks until he runs out of cash again.
> 
> best just to be compassionate about these things and not take personal offense or anything.


Hes in enamored with you because your his equal @monemi. I agree doc needs to be smacked sometimes. Thats what hes looking for.. . I'm onto you doc.


----------



## drmiller100

NK said:


> not take personal offense or anything.


I think it is time you and I no longer respond to each other's posts. 

I wish you the best,
D


----------



## drmiller100

LeoCat said:


> Hes in enamored with you because your his equal @_monemi_. I agree doc needs to be smacked sometimes. Thats what hes looking for.. . I'm onto you doc.


Indeed, Leocat says Truth. Alas, @monemi is taken. Sigh. I looked into it, and she is even happy with her guy.

Sigh.

I'm not certain I'd get along with an ESTP long term, but Monemi has power, confidence, intelligence, and strong Fe, an ever so sexy combination for me. @LeoCat is similar, but a tad young for me.


----------



## HellCat

drmiller100 said:


> Indeed, Leocat says Truth. Alas, @_monemi_ is taken. Sigh. I looked into it, and she is even happy with her guy.
> 
> Sigh.
> 
> I'm not certain I'd get along with an ESTP long term, but Monemi has power, confidence, intelligence, and strong Fe, an ever so sexy combination for me. @_LeoCat_ is similar, but a tad young for me.


Except Im Fi! wait I don't believe in mbti or functions YOU TRICK ED ME


----------



## petite libellule

drmiller100 said:


> I think it is time you and I no longer respond to each other's posts.
> 
> I wish you the best,
> D


Okay. I was just joking.


----------



## MNiS

NK said:


> don't mind him. he's just trying to make ends meat.
> on occasion doc spams up the forum attempting to sell pics of his ham.
> 
> you just need to slap his hand and say, NO! No spamming your ham!
> 
> then he'll go away for about 3-6 weeks until he runs out of cash again.
> 
> best just to be compassionate about these things and not take personal offense or anything.


Much like how you train a Child.


----------



## drmiller100

LeoCat said:


> Except Im Fi! wait I don't believe in mbti or functions YOU TRICK ED ME


You are fe. Sorry


----------



## HellCat

drmiller100 said:


> You are fe. Sorry


No I am not. I just took a cognitive function score. I got 100 Ni. 95 FI, 85 Ne 75 Se and TE and Si Fe 20 Ti was 45. wrong wrong wrong. Learn what Fe is! Did you mistake me for a sweet submissive woman who would just meekly say yes sir. you're always right doc. 

Hahahaha


----------



## drmiller100

LeoCat said:


> No I am not. I just took a cognitive function score. I got 100 Ni. 95 FI, 85 Ne 75 Se and TE and Si Fe 20 Ti was 45. wrong wrong wrong. Learn what Fe is! Did you mistake me for a sweet submissive woman who would just meekly say yes sir. you're always right doc.
> 
> Hahahaha


 An 8/7 enfp.

wow. hugs


----------



## FallingSlowly

I always knew PerC was an online dating site, albeit heavy on MBTI weirdness.
*rofl*


----------



## HellCat

drmiller100 said:


> An 8/7 enfp.
> 
> wow. hugs


Im kind of tied. With a few of them. See why I don't like boxes!!! I can't put myself in one or label. I am either too fucking aspie to be typed properly or too balanced mentally. 

(cries in the corner softly)


----------



## HellCat

FallingSlowly said:


> I always knew PerC was an online dating site, albeit heavy on MBTI weirdness.
> *rofl*


mbti cult worship should be done away, same with enneagram bigotry! But they won't listen to me I am labeled a heretic.


----------



## d e c a d e n t

LeoCat said:


> No I am not. I just took a cognitive function score. I got 100 Ni. 95 FI, 85 Ne 75 Se and TE and Si Fe 20 Ti was 45. wrong wrong wrong. Learn what Fe is! Did you mistake me for a sweet submissive woman who would just meekly say yes sir. you're always right doc.
> 
> Hahahaha


I would say tests don't matter _that _much, but from what I've seen of you, you do seem more Fi imo. 

(I don't necessarily think that being mentally balanced is something to be sad about, though)


----------



## misterjc0612

In your opinion, and maybe based off what you have observed, what are the top 3 most attractive personality traits in a man?


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

drmiller100 said:


> Three rounds of WHAT?????
> 
> (Big grins!)


Have you a one track mind?
I suspect you need to get laid more often, at least once a year LOL.


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

Anon317 said:


> i like freecell,... i call it the organising game XDDD .. i usually play it when i have nothing left to organise ..
> but seriously ... i like playing norwegian whist , and puzzles ... "anything that makes me think"


Freecell was one of those games that came loaded on the software package of box store computers, it's one of those games you can't lose.


----------



## carlaviii

stargazing grasshopper said:


> Is anybody giving odds who'd win 3 rounds between those 2?
> I'm thinking smart money is on the cat.


I just hope she leaves something for the rest of us.


----------



## carlaviii

stargazing grasshopper said:


> There's a version of Sudoku named "Killer", it's not as boring.
> Freecell is a mind numbing game.
> 
> Have you ever considered online poker?


I went though a solitaire stage, yes. I liked Spider variants... blackjack's all right, if there's no money involved. Poker would take too much thinking. 

Oh, and I have a very old fondness for mah jongg. REAL mah jongg, not the solitaire version, not the Americanized version.


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

carlaviii said:


> I went though a solitaire stage, yes. I liked Spider variants... blackjack's all right, if there's no money involved. Poker would take too much thinking.
> 
> Oh, and I have a very old fondness for mah jongg. REAL mah jongg, not the solitaire version, not the Americanized version.


I discovered Mah jong tile games last year, this one was is my favorite.
Mahjong at FREEGAMES.WS - Play free Mah-Jong, a solitaire game online


----------



## monemi

drmiller100 said:


> Three rounds of WHAT?????
> 
> (Big grins!)


Water fight. Obviously. Right? I mean, what else could they mean?


----------



## drmiller100

Jennywocky said:


> I am starting to think you only have three things on your mind.
> (1) Sex, (2) sex, and (3) ... well, what do you think???
> 
> :laughing:


Men have two feelings. 

If we don't have a boner, put a sandwich in our mouth.


----------



## drmiller100

stargazing grasshopper said:


> Have you a one track mind?
> I suspect you need to get laid more often, at least once a year LOL.


I Got laid. I am mellower.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

What is it like being a good-looking/beautiful woman?


----------



## StandardLawyer

isingthebodyelectric said:


> What is it like being a good-looking/beautiful woman?


Don't you know how its like to be good-looking/beautiful?

I'm for sure good-looking/beautiful.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Swish3Six said:


> Don't you know how its like to be good-looking/beautiful?


Nope. And I know life is different to those who are so, as they are treated differently. But also I just wanted to know how 'they' felt within themselves.


----------



## StandardLawyer

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Nope. And I know life is different to those who are so, as they are treated differently. But also I just wanted to know how 'they' felt within themselves.


I'm pretty sure they feel the same way you do.
Groggy in the morning, hungry during lunch hours, sleepy at night.
Rrrightt? :tongue:


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Swish3Six said:


> I'm pretty sure they feel the same way you do.
> Groggy in the morning, hungry during lunch hours, sleepy at night.
> Rrrightt? :tongue:


Implying that they are not treated differently because of their looks or beauty would just be lying, though.


----------



## qingdom

If a person (non gender specific) asks and offer you an experimental foot rub massaged to orgasm, would you allow and indulge them?


----------



## Jennywocky

qingdom said:


> If a person (non gender specific) asks and offer you an experimental foot rub massaged to orgasm, would you allow and indulge them?


Is someone offering? :tongue:


----------



## Jennywocky

drmiller100 said:


> Men have two feelings.
> 
> If we don't have a boner, put a sandwich in our mouth.


That's so much to remember. I hope I don't mix them up.


----------



## monemi

isingthebodyelectric said:


> What is it like being a good-looking/beautiful woman?


How does anyone answer that without being completely full of themselves?


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

Jennywocky said:


> That's so much to remember. I hope I don't mix them up.


I can assure you that Dr X doesn't speak for men in general but very likely only for himself.

Speaking for myself; "Boners" (13 year old description?) dont account for half of my "feelings" nor have 
I any need for a mother figure to cook for & feed me.
The majority of men are quite self sufficent & exist upon a very different plane than Dr X's caveman outlook.

Please don't judge the rest of us based upon one confused mamas boy.


----------



## monemi

qingdom said:


> If a person (non gender specific) asks and offer you an experimental foot rub massaged to orgasm, would you allow and indulge them?


No one touches my feet. I'm very ticklish. I get nervous when someone talks about touching my feet.


----------



## drmiller100

stargazing grasshopper said:


> I can assure you that Dr X doesn't speak for men in general but very likely only for himself.
> 
> Speaking for myself; "Boners" (13 year old description?) dont account for half of my "feelings" nor have
> I any need for a mother figure to cook for & feed me.
> The majority of men are quite self sufficent & exist upon a very different plane than Dr X's caveman outlook.
> 
> Please don't judge the rest of us based upon one confused mamas boy.


Sigh.


----------



## android654

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Is water wet?


That's very generalized and really unfair. There are plenty of women who get neglectful after they get what they want.


----------



## sraddatz

I don't think I could wait any longer in between. We are both in our mid-30's and I can count on one hand how many times each year we have sex. Been that way our whole marriage- 11 years. I've given up trying to initiate because of years of rejection.


----------



## android654

sraddatz said:


> I don't think I could wait any longer in between. We are both in our mid-30's and I can count on one hand how many times each year we have sex. Been that way our whole marriage- 11 years. I've given up trying to initiate because of years of rejection.


Not a woman, but have you considered being direct with her about it, present it as the real problem that it is?


----------



## HellCat

sraddatz said:


> I don't think I could wait any longer in between. We are both in our mid-30's and I can count on one hand how many times each year we have sex. Been that way our whole marriage- 11 years. I've given up trying to initiate because of years of rejection.


Wow. I am so sorry. That must be very frustrating. Is she depressed or something?


----------



## sraddatz

Tried that on many occasions over the years. She is a typical ESFJ, and is extremely sensitive. That conversation usually doesn't last long before she shuts down.


----------



## sraddatz

She had been depressed, but is now on medication to help with that. She says her libido is returning, but have yet to see the results.


----------



## monemi

sraddatz said:


> She had been depressed, but is now on medication to help with that. She says her libido is returning, but have yet to see the results.


One hand in 11 years? Oh wow. I mean, we went through dry spells post-partum and after I had my gall bladder taken out and after he had a hernia repair. But otherwise, sex has played a big part in our marriage. Have you considered the possibility that she's asexual? That's an extremely low sex drive. Could you guys see a marriage counselor? Or maybe a sex therapist?


----------



## sraddatz

No. Not that bad, but it feels like it. Less than 5x per year. I've thought about seeking counseling, and brought it up in the past. Maybe try again?

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## monemi

sraddatz said:


> No. Not that bad, but it feels like it. Less than 5x per year. I've thought about seeking counseling, and brought it up in the past. Maybe try again?
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


5x per year is 0.41 times per month. Maybe her sex drive really is that low. But something's gotta change. It's not right to have one partner happy and the other miserable. But then, I wouldn't want to back her into a corner on this. Is the frequency of your sex life making you miserable? Because if it is, it might be time just deliver the facts and ask her if that's what she wants. Is her goal to make you miserable or does she just not care about you? Because if she actually cares about your happiness, she'd listen and actually want to do something about this. Like seek marriage counseling.


----------



## sraddatz

Yes, it makes me unhappy, though not miserable. I feel bound by duty to my wife and kids. We have a counselor in our church, but I don't want someone we know well knowing all our intimate details. We will have new insurance in January, and we are moving in 2 weeks. I think I'll look for a counselor here in kc.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


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## monemi

sraddatz said:


> Yes, it makes me unhappy, though not miserable. I feel bound by duty to my wife and kids. We have a counselor in our church, but I don't want someone we know well knowing all our intimate details. We will have new insurance in January, and we are moving in 2 weeks. I think I'll look for a counselor here in kc.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


Then maybe tell her you're unhappy in January when you can get it covered by insurance? Also, you could get a referral to a counselor through your family dr or workplace human resources department.


----------



## sraddatz

You are awesome! Thanks for your help!

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

To women who like having casual sex or/and have had many sexual partners, how do you ignore or what do you say to people who judge you and call you names? How do you feel about being an apparently bad person for 'sleeping around' and the double standards with this?


----------



## carlaviii

isingthebodyelectric said:


> To women who like having casual sex or/and have had many sexual partners, how do you ignore or what do you say to people who judge you and call you names? How do you feel about being an apparently bad person for 'sleeping around' and the double standards with this?


TBH, very few people know about my dating habits. Mostly because of the ages of the guys I've been seeing -- being a cougar isn't illegal, of course, but it'll still get you frowns and odd looks. The number of my FWBs does make me say "I should slow down" every so often, too. 

Am I overcompensating? Yeah, probably. I had a fucking miserable sex life for over 20 years. It's not an excuse, but it's a reason. 

Someone getting in my face and calling me a slut would probably hit a nerve. It would hurt. But I can usually shake off that sort of thing, thanks to a lifetime of being fat. I've been told I'm weak, disgusting and undesireable for a long time. Doesn't make it true.


----------



## Wellsy

How would you describe your social circle/life?


----------



## carlaviii

Wellsy said:


> How would you describe your social circle/life?


Compartmentalized, lol. I know that this is increasingly normal as the internet permeates deeper into society and maintaining several distinct identities becomes more common, but for me it still feels strange. Vaguely dishonest. Probably my age showing. 

My family, my IRL acquaintances, my FWBs, online acquaintances on PerC, Reddit, my writing/publishing circles... very little overlap between them. I try to be careful about what I talk about with who. Even though I technically know a lot of people, I still feel relatively isolated because there's nobody that I tell everything to.

I'm mostly okay with that, though. It's good writing fodder.


----------



## Jennywocky

Wellsy said:


> How would you describe your social circle/life?


Various rings. 

1. Close family/kids
2. Work
3. Local friends
4. Internet friends

My actual social life is boring. I had a few years where I'd socialize a lot more and now I've dropped back into my old routine where I need far more alone time and don't have the energy or money to get out much -- it was a lot of expenditure for me.

So I go to work. I talk to people in the course of my job, and I have a few close coworkers who I will occasionally hang out with and chat. Then I go home and essentially hang out all night with my cat, doing things on my own. The weekends can be spent similarly.

I spend some time online and connect with my online friends there. In the summers, I usually go hiking, but by myself. On occasion, I will go to friend gatherings/dinners. I also am part of two RPG groups, one weekly and one biweekly.

I don't really have anyone within a few minutes to go spend time with. All of my friends IRL live about 30 minutes away and/or have families of their own, so they have schedules to adhere to. it's easier just to do my own thing... and I just don't feel like I have the energy right now at this time in my life to do all the running.


----------



## monemi

@_isingthebodyelectric_ it doesn't bother me because it's not true. True, I'm comfortable with casual sex. But I don't think I've had a significant number of partners. I've known enough women that don't do casual sex but went through men faster than I have. I've been accused of being cold. I'd say I can be cold when I need to be. 



Wellsy said:


> How would you describe your social circle/life?


1. Immediate family
2. Family in Europe that I skype
3. In laws
4. Friends through work/business 
5. Friends through sports/camping
6. Friends through volunteer work
7. Friends through kids school
8. Old friends that pop up
etc...

Aside from online, there is a lot of overlap, but I compartmentalize a good deal still. It's pretty much family and everyone else but not vs everyone else.


----------



## HellCat

Wellsy said:


> How would you describe your social circle/life?


I am extremely picky about people who take my time alone away. So family and inner circle. I do not bother with people I do not absolutely adore and trust with my life. Too much energy used for such endeavors. I also introduce them to one another. Sometimes friends even meet through me and marry. No compartmentalizing if I think they will like each other. 

Two of my guyfriends have married my sisters and I am counting on a third someday.


----------



## FallingSlowly

isingthebodyelectric said:


> To women who like having casual sex or/and have had many sexual partners, how do you ignore or what do you say to people who judge you and call you names? How do you feel about being an apparently bad person for 'sleeping around' and the double standards with this?


I've had casual sex for a while, but I wouldn't necessarily say I've had many sexual partners. I can still count them on both hands despite my grand old age (I mean, what's "many"? More than one? More than 10? More than 100? ). 

I'm actually monogamous by nature, but there was a (short) time in my life when I couldn't emotionally commit, and it was actually better that way for everyone involved (instead of offloading and projecting my problems onto them). 

Back then, I was pretty straightforward about it and made it very clear that there was no scope for a relationship, and the men were okay with that. I didn't feel negatively judged; it was a win-win situation, so to speak. We both got out of it what we wanted. No one has ever accused me of sleeping around, or being a bad person. For that to happen, people probably would have to have known (so maybe I was just discreet enough ). And even if someone had called me a slut, I probably wouldn't have cared to be honest. It's my life, and if people whom I haven't invited feel the need to get involved into it, I usually assume they are either jealous or have problems of their own they need to distract themselves from. Bitching about others makes these people feel better for a while before they have to return to their own sad lives I guess...



Wellsy said:


> How would you describe your social circle/life?


1. Partner and his family (mine doesn't exist anymore. My dad's still alive, but we have virtually no contact)
2. Closest friends (one male, one female) and their families
3. Friends (good ones, but not necessarily the ones I'd share everything with and see more like family like 2.)
4. Work acquaintances I can have a good time with (usually artsy folk)
5. Work colleagues I wouldn't necessarily spend private time with, but whom I can still find intellectually stimulating
6. Students (I have to spend a lot of time with them, and the relationships are also somewhat closer due to the field of work. There is a lot of trust and emotional openness involved, so I couldn't leave them out)


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

LeoCat said:


> because girls are hot.. if they have good personalities looks at @_Cosmic Orgasm_ and @_Animal_ longingly...plus boobs!


Girls are hot but not all girls have boobs, just sayin' is all. :laughing:


----------



## Sara Torailles

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Girls are hot but not all girls have boobs, just sayin' is all. :laughing:


I would thank you, but it would break the 666.

EDIT: Right after I made this post... Goddammit LeoCat.

In other good news, my post count now ends with 69!


----------



## HellCat

Torai said:


> I would thank you, but it would break the 666.
> 
> EDIT: Right after I made this post... Goddammit LeoCat.
> 
> In other good news, my post count now ends with 69!


smart ass. What is it with you and numbers?


----------



## carlaviii

sraddatz said:


> Do you find you are happier now that you are in control? I've had a terrible sex life for a while as well.


I am happier, yes, but tbh I don't know how much real control I have? My bad sex life was really just a symptom/result of other problems I had. That's a common thing, for bad sex. I have changed and am changing, which is a good thing. That, I have some control over. The rest of what makes me happier about my sex life now -- the reassurance that I'm attractive, my partners, etc -- are good fortune more than a result of anything I can control.


----------



## Sara Torailles

LeoCat said:


> smart ass. What is it with you and numbers?


I see what you referenced there.










People pay attention to me!


----------



## sraddatz

carlaviii said:


> I am happier, yes, but tbh I don't know how much real control I have? My bad sex life was really just a symptom/result of other problems I had. That's a common thing, for bad sex. I have changed and am changing, which is a good thing. That, I have some control over. The rest of what makes me happier about my sex life now -- the reassurance that I'm attractive, my partners, etc -- are good fortune more than a result of anything I can control.


I think that is the issue in my marriage. I think my wife has profound self esteem issues, although I'm not mentally abusive. What did you do to change? Was it just a conscious decision?


----------



## FallingSlowly

Wosush said:


> Okay, yesterday I've got into an polemic with my bodybuilding buddy. And I'm gonna also ask you dear PerC ladies.
> So what's bigger turn on on a guy? Having well-built muscular body, or playing guitar? And why?


Neither on its own, and I'm saying that being both a musician and a sporty person myself.

I find _overly_ muscular, bulky guys off-putting - not attractive to me at all. I find guys who play the "sensitive musician"-card as a trick to get into your pants equally off-putting (and I've met a few of that kind over the years).

As clichéd as it may sound: The whole package has to be right, and that can involve the well-built muscular body, the guitar, both or neither. Impossible to answer...


----------



## carlaviii

sraddatz said:


> I think that is the issue in my marriage. I think my wife has profound self esteem issues, although I'm not mentally abusive. What did you do to change? Was it just a conscious decision?


I started doing yoga and got serious about my faith. The yoga in particular helped me to realize that I actually have an ordinary, functional body -- I've been fat all my life, so I don't need to explain where my self-esteem problems came from. Regular yoga sessions _proved_ to me that my body was not some horrible, contrary-minded thing. With practice, I improved in flexibility, strength and focus just like anybody else would. 

For the first time in my life, I called a truce in my cold war with my body. And once I'd made peace with myself, everything else started looking a whole lot more do-able. 

I'm glad to give more details, if anybody reading this wants them. Internal peace makes a huge, huge difference in tackling life's problems. A house divided cannot stand, as they say.


----------



## phony

Wosush said:


> Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?


I'm in a LDR so IRL - whenever we're both ready to go


----------



## drmiller100

carlaviii said:


> I started doing yoga and got serious about my faith. The yoga in particular helped me to realize that I actually have an ordinary, functional body -- I've been fat all my life, so I don't need to explain where my self-esteem problems came from. Regular yoga sessions _proved_ to me that my body was not some horrible, contrary-minded thing. With practice, I improved in flexibility, strength and focus just like anybody else would.
> 
> For the first time in my life, I called a truce in my cold war with my body. And once I'd made peace with myself, everything else started looking a whole lot more do-able.
> 
> I'm glad to give more details, if anybody reading this wants them. Internal peace makes a huge, huge difference in tackling life's problems. A house divided cannot stand, as they say.


Your post triggered something for me. I have a HUGE pet peeve about women who bash their bodies. And I guess it goes deeper than that. 
Some people have come to terms with their physical bodies. Most have not. Most want to worry and thrash and nit pick about how things could be better and how they could look better. 

I am not interested in dating someone, or even listening to someone who is not there. I have a very few friends who have these insecurities, and their good points out weight this bad point. 

But even at that, I won't listen to it. And I'm good with that.

Thank you for helping me understand me.


----------



## Space Ryder

I've known this one (single) lady to which I've talked to. I admit I'm interested to get to know her better, but I've not told this to her, rather having just expressed my interest by trying to have conversations with her.

We've had some decent conversations based on my "initiatives". They could be better, but it's a start. However, she doesn't really start conversations on her behalf.

Is she playing hard-to-get, or is she just not interested?


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Space Ryder said:


> I've known this one (single) lady to which I've talked to. I admit I'm interested to get to know her better, but I've not told this to her, rather having just expressed my interest by trying to have conversations with her.
> 
> We've had some decent conversations based on my "initiatives". They could be better, but it's a start. However, she doesn't really start conversations on her behalf.
> 
> Is she playing hard-to-get, or is she just not interested?


Maybe she is shy. I find it hard to start conversations with people, even when I have something to say to them. Maybe give her more opportunities to add something to the conversation? If she doesn't, then you can presume she's not that interested.


----------



## Space Ryder

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Maybe she is shy. I find it hard to start conversations with people, even when I have something to say to them. Maybe give her more opportunities to add something to the conversation? If she doesn't, then you can presume she's not that interested.


You could be right at that, and she is at least somewhat introvert. Still, she's quite determined in her willpower(Just as I am), so I would think that by any logic she would have been willing to continue the conversation later on. This hovewer, has not happened.

_She is really puzzling.._

Then again, it could be that she's just an INTP like me , and doesn't like those smalltalks.(She could be INxx, is artistical and likes to delve into things to what she's interested of). I don't like smalltalks either, but I feel that they are simply a gateway to the deeper conversation. You can't simply go and ask, "So what are your thoughts on the United States deepening economy crisis?"


----------



## drmiller100

Space Ryder said:


> You can't simply go and ask, "So what are your thoughts on the United States deepening economy crisis?"


Sure you can.

i do it.


----------



## .17485

Hi women. I want to use a example message I sent to a woman on OKCupid on this thread. If you were in this girls shoes would you replay back? Just need some feedback. Not sure if I going the right way when I send messages to women on OKCupid. I normally look to see if I share any interests and hobbies. 

Example of a message I sent today 

*''Hi Cat how is it going? Film and Television Studies that's cool. I did media studies in sixth form. I love film and tv. My favourite film genre is comedy and action. Which university are you studying it at? I've been to america. I went four years ago. I went to florida for seven days. It was really fun. I would say travelling to different places would be fun. Hi my name is Tega.''*


----------



## monemi

Tega1 said:


> Hi women. I want to use a example message I sent to a woman on OKCupid on this thread. If you were in this girls shoes would you replay back? Just need some feedback. Not sure if I going the right way when I send messages to women on OKCupid. I normally look to see if I share any interests and hobbies.
> 
> Example of a message I sent today
> 
> *''Hi Cat how is it going? Film and Television Studies that's cool. I did media studies in sixth form. I love film and tv. My favourite film genre is comedy and action. Which university are you studying it at? I've been to america. I went four years ago. I went to florida for seven days. It was really fun. I would say travelling to different places would be fun. Hi my name is Tega.''*


Well, I'm not her, so I don't share her interests. Hard to say. But some suggestions? Your name should be in the first sentence. I would skip pointing out that you love film and tv given that you studied it and you're telling her what your favourite genre's are in the following sentence. America and Florida should be capitalized. You could make the sentences flow better. 'I went to America 4 years ago. I was in Florida for 7 days and enjoyed it.' And I would suggest saying that you would like to travel more in the future. Finish with letting her know that you look forward to hearing back from her. 

Try to make your writing patterns less stilted with more of a flow. Not that I'm an expert on any of this. I feel a bit funny giving advice on this.


----------



## iloveusarita

OK, everybody is different, but then if you know this woman, like her as a person and want to ask her out for a fun/platonic date, and you know she doesn't do much for fun, is it right to ask?

this sounds very strange granted, but then we're casual friends and am not sure if it's the time to ask her out.


----------



## android654

What is your opinion of women who use the "sexy baby" voice? Infantile, adult women?

For those of your fortunate enough to not have experienced this, here's an example:






And in case you're wondering, yes, it is a real thing.


----------



## FallingSlowly

android654 said:


> What is your opinion of women who use the "sexy baby" voice? Infantile, adult women?


If it's put on, I find it comical but naff. If it's real, I'd assume it's a speech pathology or some sort of physical defect (unless the woman is roundabout 4 foot or smaller). To clarify: I'm strictly speaking of voices like the one in the video. Fundamental speaking pitch can be high in some women, and that's not what I'm referring to.

I don't know why anyone would put on a voice like that for anything else than comical effect on stage or screen. I'm not a guy obviously, so if there's any appeal in it, I fail to see it.


----------



## HellCat

android654 said:


> What is your opinion of women who use the "sexy baby" voice? Infantile, adult women?
> 
> For those of your fortunate enough to not have experienced this, here's an example:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And in case you're wondering, yes, it is a real thing.


I naturally have a sexy baby voice. My mother has smoked two packs a day for 30 yrs and sounds like a fucking power puff girl. So I LOWER it a register, to be taken seriously. The only thing its good for is when I want to play stupid to get out of something.

Also, <3 30 [email protected]


----------



## carlaviii

android654 said:


> What is your opinion of women who use the "sexy baby" voice? Infantile, adult women?
> 
> And in case you're wondering, yes, it is a real thing.


It's one reason I don't watch hentai -- can't stand the female voices. The girls sound like a squeaky toys.


----------



## monemi

android654 said:


> What is your opinion of women who use the "sexy baby" voice? Infantile, adult women?


I don't know who's putting it on and who isn't. You can't presume anything. If they're doing it on purpose, it suggests they have very little going for them and they had to make a handle. Which is just sad. Some women just really do talk that way. Unless I know otherwise, I just accept that some women talk that way.


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

I was mildly shy when I was a freshman in high school & I had a crush on a beautiful blonde art teacher. I'm sure my attraction was obvious the moment I stood up but an adult shouldn't encourage a youngsters infatuation.

Cut to the chase; During the winter months I stayed after school to work on my lack of artistic talent (really to be near her). 
While we were alone at school or on the way home she'd flirt with me in a voice as though she were a young teenage girl.
Luckily I was too shy to do anything when her breast rubbed against my shoulder or when she touched me inappropriately on the way home while speaking in that innocent young teenaged girl voice.

I think that some woman which revert to speaking with the voice of a 14 year old girl may have a tendency to blur the lines of appropriate behavior with teenaged boys. I'm not indicating their sexual predators but rather that they (subconsciously?) revert to behavior from their youth. 
Anyhow: Beware an adult woman that speaks like a young teen girl while in the presence of young teen boys.


----------



## drmiller100

stargazing grasshopper said:


> I
> Cut to the chase; During the winter months I stayed after school to work on my lack of artistic talent (really to be near her).
> While we were alone at school or on the way home she'd flirt with me in a voice as though she were a young teenage girl.
> Luckily I was too shy to do anything when her breast rubbed against my shoulder or when she touched me inappropriately on the way home while speaking in that innocent young teenaged girl voice.
> 
> I think that some woman which revert to speaking with the voice of a 14 year old girl may have a tendency to blur the lines of appropriate behavior with teenaged boys. I'm not indicating their sexual predators but rather that they (subconsciously?) revert to behavior from their youth.
> Anyhow: Beware an adult woman that speaks like a young teen girl while in the presence of young teen boys.



that is fucked up on her part.


----------



## android654

FallingSlowly said:


> If it's put on, I find it comical but naff. If it's real, I'd assume it's a speech pathology or some sort of physical defect (unless the woman is roundabout 4 foot or smaller). To clarify: I'm strictly speaking of voices like the one in the video. Fundamental speaking pitch can be high in some women, and that's not what I'm referring to.
> 
> I don't know why anyone would put on a voice like that for anything else than comical effect on stage or screen. I'm not a guy obviously, so if there's any appeal in it, I fail to see it.





LeoCat said:


> I naturally have a sexy baby voice. My mother has smoked two packs a day for 30 yrs and sounds like a fucking power puff girl. So I LOWER it a register, to be taken seriously. The only thing its good for is when I want to play stupid to get out of something.
> 
> Also, <3 30 [email protected]





carlaviii said:


> It's one reason I don't watch hentai -- can't stand the female voices. The girls sound like a squeaky toys.





monemi said:


> I don't know who's putting it on and who isn't. You can't presume anything. If they're doing it on purpose, it suggests they have very little going for them and they had to make a handle. Which is just sad. Some women just really do talk that way. Unless I know otherwise, I just accept that some women talk that way.


Just to clarify, sexy baby voice does not solely rely on pitch and tone, which can vary by any person for a number of uncontrollable reasons. SBV does include a childish form of speaking and behaving, a tailoring to one's speech to try and sound infantile and insipid, and it is supplemented by either having or adapting a tone that sounds child-like.

Speech pathologists have a term for it: vocal fry, a one-time speech disorder like a lisp or stammer. And when vocal fry is adapted with a high-pitched voice, you get SBV. Think Kim Kardashian's pattern of speaking.

New speech pattern of young women:

http://news.sciencemag.org/social-sciences/2011/12/vocal-fry-creeping-u.s.-speech

It has actually reached epidemic status.


----------



## HellCat

android654 said:


> Just to clarify, sexy baby voice does not solely rely on pitch and tone, which can vary by any person for a number of uncontrollable reasons. SBV does include a childish form of speaking and behaving, a tailoring to one's speech to try and sound infantile and insipid, and it is supplemented by either having or adapting a tone that sounds child-like.
> 
> Speech pathologists have a term for it: vocal fry, a one-time speech disorder like a lisp or stammer. And when vocal fry is adapted with a high-pitched voice, you get SBV. Think Kim Kardashian's pattern of speaking.
> 
> New speech pattern of young women:
> 
> 'Vocal Fry' Creeping Into U.S. Speech | Science/AAAS | News
> 
> It has actually reached epidemic status.


scary


----------



## monemi

android654 said:


> Just to clarify, sexy baby voice does not solely rely on pitch and tone, which can vary by any person for a number of uncontrollable reasons. SBV does include a childish form of speaking and behaving, a tailoring to one's speech to try and sound infantile and insipid, and it is supplemented by either having or adapting a tone that sounds child-like.
> 
> Speech pathologists have a term for it: vocal fry, a one-time speech disorder like a lisp or stammer. And when vocal fry is adapted with a high-pitched voice, you get SBV. Think Kim Kardashian's pattern of speaking.
> 
> New speech pattern of young women:
> 
> 'Vocal Fry' Creeping Into U.S. Speech | Science/AAAS | News
> 
> It has actually reached epidemic status.


Oh that. Those are two different things in my opinion. One is intentionally trying to be infantile. The other is just a speech pattern and I doubt these women even notice that they're doing it.


----------



## monemi

stargazing grasshopper said:


> I was mildly shy when I was a freshman in high school & I had a crush on a beautiful blonde art teacher. I'm sure my attraction was obvious the moment I stood up but an adult shouldn't encourage a youngsters infatuation.
> 
> Cut to the chase; During the winter months I stayed after school to work on my lack of artistic talent (really to be near her).
> While we were alone at school or on the way home she'd flirt with me in a voice as though she were a young teenage girl.
> Luckily I was too shy to do anything when her breast rubbed against my shoulder or when she touched me inappropriately on the way home while speaking in that innocent young teenaged girl voice.
> 
> I think that some woman which revert to speaking with the voice of a 14 year old girl may have a tendency to blur the lines of appropriate behavior with teenaged boys. I'm not indicating their sexual predators but rather that they (subconsciously?) revert to behavior from their youth.
> Anyhow: Beware an adult woman that speaks like a young teen girl while in the presence of young teen boys.


Wow, that was in appropriate of her. I would have appreciated if you'd reported her, but I'm guessing teenagers generally don't report that sort of thing.


----------



## android654

monemi said:


> Oh that. Those are two different things in my opinion. One is intentionally trying to be infantile. The other is just a speech pattern and I doubt these women even notice that they're doing it.


Well, according to the pathologists who've tracked the trend of this speech pattern being adopted, vocal fry has spread as the result of media influences--copying celebrities, tv, and movies. They track it as an emulation of what is seen to be receive untold amounts of attention from the media and, more importantly, the opposite sex. I agree that they may not be "aware" that they've adopted it in their day-to-day lives, but to never notice that you're consciously doing something, and don't notice the recurring patterns in those around them and the celebrities they're emulating, are simply put on an act.


----------



## monemi

android654 said:


> Well, according to the pathologists who've tracked the trend of this speech pattern being adopted, vocal fry has spread as the result of media influences--copying celebrities, tv, and movies. They track it as an emulation of what is seen to be receive untold amounts of attention from the media and, more importantly, the opposite sex. I agree that they may not be "aware" that they've adopted it in their day-to-day lives, but to never notice that you're consciously doing something, and don't notice the recurring patterns in those around them and the celebrities they're emulating, are simply put on an act.


They don't bother me if it's just something that they pick up. If it has become a part of the culture for that age group, it's not surprising many pick it up subconsciously. I've picked up accents from different countries without meaning to. It's hard not to.


----------



## FallingSlowly

android654 said:


> Just to clarify, sexy baby voice does not solely rely on pitch and tone, which can vary by any person for a number of uncontrollable reasons. SBV does include a childish form of speaking and behaving, a tailoring to one's speech to try and sound infantile and insipid, and it is supplemented by either having or adapting a tone that sounds child-like.
> 
> Speech pathologists have a term for it: vocal fry, a one-time speech disorder like a lisp or stammer. And when vocal fry is adapted with a high-pitched voice, you get SBV. Think Kim Kardashian's pattern of speaking.
> 
> New speech pattern of young women:
> 
> 'Vocal Fry' Creeping Into U.S. Speech | Science/AAAS | News
> 
> It has actually reached epidemic status.


Yes, I train actors in speech and singing, and it is indeed a problem for some of the ladies to onset any type of note with anything other than a creak. And it's definitely getting worse. Not all of them use baby voice though (I think I would need heavy sedation to do my work in that case ).

Having said that, most modern speech and language therapists only consider vocal fry as a pathology if you have no control over it (and in singing, it's actually a legitimate register). For most, it's just a really bad habit that needs pointing out and can be broken. 

Regarding the whole behavioural thing that comes with it: Maybe it's some sort of kink for some people, then okay if it happens in their relationship and both are fine with it. But in everyday situations? *shudders*


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

monemi said:


> Wow, that was in appropriate of her. I would have appreciated if you'd reported her, but I'm guessing teenagers generally don't report that sort of thing.


I never had much need to tell secrets, always seemed to be a betrayal unless all involved shared the secret. Who'd believe a 13-14 year old boy that's infatuated with a beautiful adult? Besides the very likelihood of being ridiculed out of school, nothing much occurred other than her flirting, limited touching & my squirming due to the "boner" in my jeans. I kicked myself in the ass upon realizing a couple years later that I'd been too chicken to act upon an opportunity but years later thanked myself for being too chicken. 

I'm not suggesting she was evil but rather that for some unknown reason a very small sect of women (maybe subconsciously) revert to behaving as though they're 13-14 year old girls in the presence of teen boys that are obviously attracted to them.


----------



## monemi

stargazing grasshopper said:


> I never had much need to tell secrets, always seemed to be a betrayal unless all involved shared the secret. Who'd believe a 13-14 year old boy that's infatuated with a beautiful adult? Besides the very likelihood of being ridiculed out of school, nothing much occurred other than her flirting, limited touching & my squirming due to the "boner" in my jeans. I kicked myself in the ass upon realizing a couple years later that I'd been too chicken to act upon an opportunity but years later thanked myself for being too chicken.
> 
> I'm not suggesting she was evil but rather that for some unknown reason a very small sect of women (maybe subconsciously) revert to behaving as though they're 13-14 year old girls in the presence of teen boys that are obviously attracted to them.


That behaviour from a male teacher wouldn't be tolerated and shouldn't be from a female teacher either. In the old days, kids were required to mature more rapidly because it was necessary. If a 14 year old's father died, he became head of the household (Take Jefferson for example). That level of responsibility isn't required of teenager's in western society today. With the addition of high school, maturity has been delayed (not knocking it). That makes it unethical to make sexual advances toward an underage adolescent. What your teacher did was wrong.


----------



## Jennywocky

monemi said:


> That behaviour from a male teacher wouldn't be tolerated and shouldn't be from a female teacher either. In the old days, kids were required to mature more rapidly because it was necessary. If a 14 year old's father died, he became head of the household (Take Jefferson for example). That level of responsibility isn't required of teenager's in western society today. With the addition of high school, maturity has been delayed (not knocking it). That makes it unethical to make sexual advances toward an underage adolescent. What your teacher did was wrong.


She was also in a position of authority, which is an imbalance of power in the relationship which she potentially was exploiting.


----------



## monemi

Jennywocky said:


> She was also in a position of authority, which is an imbalance of power in the relationship which she potentially was exploiting.


I thought that too, but forgot to mention it.


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

These days a teacher/authority figure admits to inappropriate behavior with a student & the community supports the teacher rather than calling for their head upon a pointy stick.

See: Staggering: Mich. Family Violently Targeted After Standing Against Teacher Who Molested Their 8th Grade Son | TheBlaze.com


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## stargazing grasshopper

Maybe


----------



## Sina

android654 said:


> Well, according to the pathologists who've tracked the trend of this speech pattern being adopted, vocal fry has spread as the result of media influences--copying celebrities, tv, and movies. They track it as an emulation of what is seen to be receive untold amounts of attention from the media and, more importantly, the opposite sex. I agree that they may not be "aware" that they've adopted it in their day-to-day lives, but to never notice that you're consciously doing something, and don't notice the recurring patterns in those around them and the celebrities they're emulating, are simply put on an act.


Very interesting! 

I find "vocal fry" quite annoying, yes. If a woman has a naturally playful personality and is in touch with her child-like side, that can be very attractive as long as she speaks in her natural voice. But, naah, the vocal fry is irritating. 

@_FallingSlowly_

Thanks for that informative post. Do you think Michael Jackson did the "vocal fry" when he spoke? I am very unfamiliar with speech therapy related terms. I am just curious since he spoke in a strangely (and artificially) higher pitch at times. He was soft-spoken, but his voice was deeper than he was often heard speaking in. 

I wonder what kind of voice I have. It's in the deeper registers, for sure. Mmm..I am so fascinated with voices. I connect with people through their voice, so if someone's voice turns me off, it gets hard to take them seriously lol.


----------



## FallingSlowly

Cosmic Orgasm said:


> Very interesting!
> Thanks for that informative post. Do you think Michael Jackson did the "vocal fry" when he spoke? I am very unfamiliar with speech therapy related terms. I am just curious since he spoke in a strangely (and artificially) higher pitch at times. He was soft-spoken, but his voice was deeper than he was often heard speaking in.
> 
> I wonder what kind of voice I have. It's in the deeper registers, for sure. Mmm..I am so fascinated with voices. I connect with people through their voice, so if someone's voice turns me off, it gets hard to take them seriously lol.


He didn't really use fry, not that I'm aware of (maybe he creaked occasionally). He actually spoke higher to protect his falsetto range for singing, and the saying goes that Seth Riggs actually advised him to do so. 
Seth Riggs is a celebrity vocal coach and the founder of Speech Level Singing. Speech Level Singing is controversial amongst vocal coaches. Some love it, some loathe it, but if you go to voice conferences, many people fall into the latter category these days. Hasn't always been thus, but what we know about the voice has developed so much over the last one or two decades, so one could say we simply know better these days. Some people, however, decide not to move on...

His books on vocal technique are, IMHO, small on content and big on patting himself on the back (they usually contain long lists of the people he worked with, and more quotes of said people than actual information on singing technique). 

I personally would never advise a singer to alter their speaking voice UNLESS they have bad speaking habits. Michael Jackson had, as far as I'm aware, a perfectly healthy, normal speaking voice, and I'll never get why he did what he did from a vocal hygiene point of view. 

I love voices, too (comes with the territory I guess). I have a pretty low speaking voice, and I also have a preference for lower speaking voices in men (both singing and speaking). I'm just very aural, can't help it 

Can I hear your voice somewhere? :kitteh:


----------



## carlaviii

android654 said:


> It has actually reached epidemic status.


Yeah, I'll keep working on my dark & sultry tone, thanks. Counter-programming FTW.


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## HellCat

snowbell said:


> I am compelled to ask - is it true that yoga pants are really comfy?


Yes and if you get a decent brand that are a sturdy material and not painted on they can be worn anywhere and do not have that cheap "leggings" look. I wear mine as business attire and nobody can tell they look like boot cut knit ponte pants from afar.


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## sraddatz

stargazing grasshopper said:


> Is it because those guys clean off their screens before any stickiness becomes permanent?
> 
> Just kidding LOL


That's funny, and pretty gross. it would be quite impressive to make it all the way to the screen, keyboard more like it.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


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## stargazing grasshopper

Wireless keyboard/mouse rig? 
I wasn't specifying anybody, but your reply may be an indication that somebody experiences weak ejaculation. Maybe due to a lack of lubricating fluid (prostrate) or weak (orgasm) muscle contractions.

While laying in bed you ought to be able to hit the wall behind the bed or at least the headboard. If not, you might consider seeking medical advice but at least you won't shoot an eye out LOL


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## sraddatz

Maybe when I was younger. Thanks for making me feel bad about myself.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


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## Jennywocky

stargazing grasshopper said:


> While laying in bed you ought able to hit the wall behind the bed or at least the headboard. If not, you might consider seeking medical advice but at least you won't shoot an eye out LOL


It burns... it burns!

Srsly. Don't ever let someone shoot that stuff in your eyes.  (Even if it's yourself.)


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## FallingSlowly

Damn, I can't get the image of guys with shooting targets on their headboards out of my head now. Bullseye!


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## sraddatz

Where were all you dirty girls before I got married? Dammit!

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


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## stargazing grasshopper

sraddatz said:


> Maybe when I was younger. Thanks for making me feel bad about myself.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


Aw jeez sorry if I struck a sore nerve, most of my comments are light hearted & not to be taken so seriously.


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## sraddatz

I know you're joking. That's impossible, right?

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


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## stargazing grasshopper

Jennywocky said:


> It burns... it burns!
> 
> Srsly. Don't ever let someone shoot that stuff in your eyes.  (Even if it's yourself.)


Yeah I wasn't planning on ever letting somebody cum in my general direction.

Here's a funny that typifies California's big government ideology.


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## stargazing grasshopper

sraddatz said:


> I know you're joking. That's impossible, right?
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk



No comment.


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## sraddatz

stargazing grasshopper said:


> No comment.


Wow, I really feel like crap now. Have I mentioned I'm a bit out of practice? I think I did way earlier in the thread.l


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## Jennywocky

sraddatz said:


> I know you're joking. That's impossible, right?
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


Do you mean hitting the wall/headboard?
I've seen guys do that if they haven't ejaculated for two days.

(Does anyone know a good place to purchase body armor?)


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## sraddatz

Jennywocky said:


> Do you mean hitting the wall/headboard?
> I've seen guys do that if they haven't ejaculated for two days.
> 
> (Does anyone know a good place to purchase body armor?)




Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


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## sraddatz

Jennywocky said:


> Do you mean hitting the wall/headboard?
> I've seen guys do that if they haven't ejaculated for two days.
> 
> (Does anyone know a good place to purchase body armor?)


That's exactly what I mean. I'm blaming this one on the Paul. 

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


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## sraddatz

Paxil, not Paul.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


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## Jennywocky

sraddatz said:


> Paxil, not Paul.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


I hate phone spellchecks, doh! 

Yeah, if you're on some kind of anti-depressant meds, sexual response can be thrown off /deadened...


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## stargazing grasshopper

Maybe that explains it, I've never taken any medication except an occasional Motrin.


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## snowbell

LeoCat said:


> Yes and if you get a decent brand that are a sturdy material and not painted on they can be worn anywhere and do not have that cheap "leggings" look. I wear mine as business attire and nobody can tell they look like boot cut knit ponte pants from afar.


That's awesome haha. 

Thank you so much to all the contributors in this thread. It's really really helpful to those of us curious people, especially for those things that tend to be less conventional...


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## drmiller100

ejaculation power, trajectory, and energy depends on a lot of different variables. some shoot far, some not so far. some have more volume, some less.

paxil delays orgasm - makes you last longer before coming. supposedly viagra/paxil is the killer combo - hard forever and never cum, although i don't see the point.


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## sraddatz

stargazing grasshopper said:


> Three times annually doesn't sound very giving, I had the impression of withdrawn indifference.


There is indifference. I still have this idea of how a sex life could and should be. Most of the infrequency is due to her lack of libido. I haven't given up all hope that it will return.


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## carlaviii

sraddatz said:


> Most of the infrequency is due to her lack of libido.


I swear, lost libido in women is an epidemic... first person to bottle a fix for it will make a mint.


----------



## Versatility

Being very stereotypical was does a NT female look for in men? What catches your eye the most ( whether it be physical traits or the way some one acts)


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## Jennywocky

Lord hemmingway.. the 3rd said:


> Why the hell do girls check you out, you know they were checking you out (reflection in window for example), you look at them and they look away like they are too cool for school lol WTF! I see this all the time.


Because we're not sure and we don't want to commit to anything / give you accidental cues that you might take as permission to approach? 

I dunno. I know I'm careful about how "open" I leave myself, even if I'm curious about someone.


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## monemi

Lord hemmingway.. the 3rd said:


> Why the hell do girls check you out, you know they were checking you out (reflection in window for example), you look at them and they look away like they are too cool for school lol WTF! I see this all the time.


They could be shy. 
They could have concluded they're not into you. 
They could just suck at flirting.


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## carlaviii

Versatility said:


> Being very stereotypical was does a NT female look for in men? What catches your eye the most ( whether it be physical traits or the way some one acts)


Must be:
inquisitive/curious
open-minded
able to communicate clearly and effectively

The physical package that's wrapped up in is much less of an issue, as long as he's clean and looks like he paid some attention when he got dressed. Personally, I'm fond of glasses, beards, and long-ish hair...


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## Jennywocky

carlaviii said:


> Must be:
> inquisitive/curious
> open-minded
> able to communicate clearly and effectively


Those qualities appear on my list too. The "communication" thing is really important to me, personally; he has to be able to articulate himself, for me to connect. I have found that "nice guys" with hearts of gold but who just don't communicate well hold no real interest for me.


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## Psydog

Could you help me to analyze the behavior of my crush?

During December, she would always flirt with my friends (more than 5) who I talk with, then she would giggle with her friends but I just ignore her. On the past Monday, she flirt with a guy in front me for a few days (Only when I was there). On Wednesday, I become impatient and confess to her on the bus. 

She still talk with me but didn't give me the answer to my confession. She did tell a few of her friends about my confession. After I confess, she stop flirting with my friends but she does trying to give me the signal of being rejected (inviting my friends to her birthday party, in front of me). Some of her friends tease me for being reject, while some of her "close/best" friends trying to getting know more about me. I also caught her looking at me secretly a few times.

Yesterday, I speak with one of her (used to close) friend. They become a bit distant as her friend goes to another states for her further studies. She looks very depressed, then she tries to avoid me although she keep checking on me when I am not looking at her.


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## carlaviii

@Psydog - I think your confession surprised her and she doesn't know how to respond to it. You may have to try talking to her again and get a clear answer.


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## sraddatz

Psydog said:


> Could you help me to analyze the behavior of my crush?
> 
> During December, she would always flirt with my friends (more than 5) who I talk with, then she would giggle with her friends but I just ignore her. On the past Monday, she flirt with a guy in front me for a few days (Only when I was there). On Wednesday, I become impatient and confess to her on the bus.
> 
> She still talk with me but didn't give me the answer to my confession. She did tell a few of her friends about my confession. After I confess, she stop flirting with my friends but she does trying to give me the signal of being rejected (inviting my friends to her birthday party, in front of me). Some of her friends tease me for being reject, while some of her "close/best" friends trying to getting know more about me. I also caught her looking at me secretly a few times.
> 
> Yesterday, I speak with one of her (used to close) friend. They become a bit distant as her friend goes to another states for her further studies. She looks very depressed, then she tries to avoid me although she keep checking on me when I am not looking at her.


Try a romantic gesture. Flowers, asking her out, something small she might like that shows you know a little about her, but would like to learn more. These small gifts might buy you time to talk with her and clarify if anything is progressing between you two. And the most important part: be confident! A lack of confidence is a huge turn off for almost any female.


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## DemonD

The toilet seat being up, is that really a problem?


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## FallingSlowly

DemonD said:


> The toilet seat being up, is that really a problem?


No, but pissing/spraying all over the place is


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## carlaviii

DemonD said:


> The toilet seat being up, is that really a problem?


It's annoying. 

There's a trend lately for people to put the lid down, which amusingly for me has always been code for "out of order, you don't want to see the disaster in here". I always cringe a bit when I have to lift the lid.


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## DemonD

FallingSlowly said:


> No, but pissing/spraying all over the place is


I would hope so.


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution

DemonD said:


> The toilet seat being up, is that really a problem?


It's extremely annoying and inconsiderate but not a 'problem' in the grand scheme of things lol.


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## MindBomb

isingthebodyelectric said:


> It's extremely annoying and inconsiderate but not a 'problem' in the grand scheme of things lol.


I know, because making the guy have to pick the seat up every time is enjoyable and considerate. But, I agree with you that it's too minor to even care.

I avoid the whole issue by sitting most times when I pee ... mainly because I am the one who usually cleans the bathroom and standing while you pee inevitably produces a mess. Laziness for the win!


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## WamphyriThrall

What is the mathematical formula used to determine the area inside of a pentadodecahedron?


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## FallingSlowly

DemonD said:


> I would hope so.


Many people would hope so, alas they're not aware they're actually doing it - @MindBomb sort of explained it perfectly


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## sraddatz

The lid is always up at our house, but the seat only goes up when I pee, and goes right back down afterwards. That's an easy compromise. If you want to talk about dishes, that's another story.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


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## monemi

WamphyriThrall said:


> What is the mathematical formula used to determine the area inside of a pentadodecahedron?


Why are you asking trick questions?


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## sraddatz

monemi said:


> Why are you asking trick questions?


I think the answer is "who gives a crap?" ...and I'm a math geek.


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## monemi

sraddatz said:


> I think the answer is "who gives a crap?" ...and I'm a math geek.


Not a math geek here and it reminded me of being asked the airspeed velocity of an African Swallow carrying a coconut.


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## drmiller100

WamphyriThrall said:


> What is the mathematical formula used to determine the area inside of a pentadodecahedron?


----------



## monemi

drmiller100 said:


>


Are we measuring volume or area?


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## sraddatz

monemi said:


> Are we measuring volume or area?


I could be wrong, but I think it's a 3 dimensional shape, so it would have to be volume. Right? if it's 2d, since there are so many sides, you could state that it's approximately equal to the area of a circle using pi r2. Told you, I'm a math geek. I'd like to think my skills have more practical applications, though.


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## FallingSlowly

monemi said:


> Are we measuring volume or area?


I think that's exactly where the "trick question" comes in (I worked as a Geologist in a former life, so I used to do okay with advanced maths). And of course you can measure the surface area of a three-dimensional object, so the question doesn't have to relate to volume just because it's 3D (this one however is not regular, so it is most likely volume we're talking about if I remember it correctly. It was long ago though ).

But honestly - who cares? Are we trying to make a point that women are crap at maths, or that they can't read a question properly? Or do we need help with our homework?


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## FallingSlowly

WamphyriThrall said:


> What is the mathematical formula used to determine the area inside of a pentadodecahedron?


I think it's actually a solid, therefore @drmiller100 is right giving you the formula for volume (but I won't crosscheck if the actual formula provided is right ).


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## stargazing grasshopper

FallingSlowly said:


> I think it's actually a solid, therefore @_drmiller100_ is right giving you the formula for volume (but I won't crosscheck if the actual formula provided is right ).



We could offer an exterior surface area measurement of a pentadodecahedron but AFAIK an interior surface area measurement is inapplicable.
We could measure the interior surface area & planes of either a pentahedron or a dodecahedron but a pentadodecahedron being a complex polyhedron requires a measurement of volume rather than surface area.


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## Surreal Snake

Cardassian or Wraith Ladies?


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## petite libellule

Surreal Snake said:


> Cardassian or Wraith Ladies?


Huh? That's my answer. Seriously. Lol!


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## sraddatz

NK said:


> Huh? That's my answer. Seriously. Lol!


Neither. I like intelligent women that aren't skin and bones. Can't stand Kim K.


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## Surreal Snake

lol a good couple you two would make


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## petite libellule

Surreal Snake said:


> lol a good couple you two would make


I don't even know who wraith ladies is! Lol!! I know who the other character is. I've heard people talk about her enough. But even so, I have no idea why she's famous.


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## Surreal Snake

:tongue:Wraith are characters from Stargate Atlantis...Cardassians from Star Trek.


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## petite libellule

Surreal Snake said:


> Wraith are characters from Stargate Atlantis...Cardassians from Star Trek.


I thought you were talking about Kim Cardashian , that famous girl I have no idea why she's famous. Lol! :tongue:


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## Surreal Snake

Hheheh nah weird space dudes/dudettes..


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## JoetheBull

would a women date/have a relationship with a guy who hates his job? kind of a dumb question, but I have worried that it is one of the things holding me back. That and having no career(reason I work in the job I hate)


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## sraddatz

JoetheBull said:


> would a women date/have a relationship with a guy who hates his job? kind of a dumb question, but I have worried that it is one of the things holding me back. That and having no career(reason I work in the job I hate)


I think any woman worth anything would see potential, not where you are right now. Now is just temporary.


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## petite libellule

JoetheBull said:


> would a women date/have a relationship with a guy who hates his job? kind of a dumb question, but I have worried that it is one of the things holding me back. That and having no career(reason I work in the job I hate)


I've known men who have a heart of gold but because they struggle with goals and directing their career , or managing money, or settling rather than always pushing their limits ... I've no interest. However, some woman don't care because they're career minded women themselves who are competitive in those ways etc. So for me, it wouldn't be that you're in a bad spot. It would be probably that you haven't a plan and are stagnant. I need direction. I can't date someone who has the same struggles I do! Lol. But for other woman it might not matter at all ... It's all relative I guess.


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## sraddatz

sraddatz said:


> I think any woman worth anything would see potential, not where you are right now. Now is just temporary.


I had a job I absolutely hated a few years ago. The job was in my career field, and id spent a lot of time and money to get there. I didn't care: I just wanted out. I did a lot of soul searching. One of the most important things is to visualize what your ideal job would be. What would you wear to work? What Wolff your schedule be? What kind off life outside of work would you have? Dream big, then take steps to make that a reality. Be more afraid of staying where you are than making the leap!


----------



## carlaviii

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Oh no no not laughing at you! Just a question like that to me is laughable but I'm sure you're not disgusting or a whale at all!


No worries. I mean why laugh at the original question? With all the conflicting messages women are given about their bodies, it's not simple to just feel sexy.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

carlaviii said:


> No worries. I mean why laugh at the original question? With all the conflicting messages women are given about their bodies, it's not simple to just feel sexy.


Oh I only meant if it were to be aimed at me but I do agree with you definitely.


----------



## Wellsy

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Dunno if this is ask all women thread or just the one user but lowl. Have to laugh at your question sorry.


I was intrigued by the thought that some people would value being sexy and there would be a want of feeling like they were but not sure how such a feeling would occur in someone. As I imagine it comes from some sort of not only acceptance but appreciation of themselves because sometimes it would seem the sex appeal one exudes can take a few different forms depending on the person and the person perceiving 

I imagine it feels empowering for a person to feel as such, I imagine it comes down to satisfying the want of being wanted and who doesn't want to be wanted in some degree as it might validate someone's ego of being somewhat significant.
As for the aiming of the question, why not you to? You are a woman. hahaha


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## sraddatz

What do you find sexy in a man? 

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Wellsy said:


> I was intrigued by the thought that some people would value being sexy and there would be a want of feeling like they were but not sure how such a feeling would occur in someone. As I imagine it comes from some sort of not only acceptance but appreciation of themselves because sometimes it would seem the sex appeal one exudes can take a few different forms depending on the person and the person perceiving
> 
> I imagine it feels empowering for a person to feel as such, I imagine it comes down to satisfying the want of being wanted and who doesn't want to be wanted in some degree as it might validate someone's ego of being somewhat significant.
> *As for the aiming of the question, why not you to? You are a woman. hahaha*


It's a feeling I've never really felt tbh. I don't feel I look like a woman. I obviously am one inside with the working parts but I don't believe I'm feminine, pretty definitely not sexy.

I can get envious of women with sex appeal like anyone can, I know ill never have that. I try to deal with it, not everyone can be attractive let alone sexy. It'd take a lot for me to look and feel sexy. Just not me. :/


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## Wellsy

@isingthebodyelectric
Perhaps someday you will. 
Either way thank you for participating


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## drmiller100

isingthebodyelectric said:


> It's a feeling I've never really felt tbh. I don't feel I look like a woman. I obviously am one inside with the working parts but I don't believe I'm feminine, pretty definitely not sexy.
> 
> I can get envious of women with sex appeal like anyone can, I know ill never have that. I try to deal with it, not everyone can be attractive let alone sexy. It'd take a lot for me to look and feel sexy. Just not me. :/


Being feminine and sexy to me has almost nothing to do with looks. It is more if a woman has been treated like a lady, and enjoys it. 

I am sapiosexual, and the personality, general intelligence, and kindness are what I find sexy. You are strong in all of those.

If you want to try being feminine, then try it. IF you are happy and feminine is not your thing, then great. 

Confidence is sexy IMO.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

drmiller100 said:


> Being feminine and sexy to me has almost nothing to do with looks. It is more if a woman has been treated like a lady, and enjoys it.
> 
> I am sapiosexual, and the personality, general intelligence, and kindness are what I find sexy. You are strong in all of those.
> 
> If you want to try being feminine, then try it. IF you are happy and feminine is not your thing, then great.
> 
> Confidence is sexy IMO.


Nice post but I feel when people talk about sexiness, they are 99% of the time talking visually but I liked what you wrote there.


----------



## drmiller100

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Nice post but I feel when people talk about sexiness, they are 99% of the time talking visually but I liked what you wrote there.


let me try this. As a male, I am somewhat visually attracted to a pretty woman. A pretty woman smiles, is confident, has her shoulders back, engages in conversation.

Do I notice a great ass or boobs hanging out? You bet. And I will look at those no doubt about it.

But for me sexy and feminine is how she carries herself.

There are MANY men who have the same attitudes I have.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

drmiller100 said:


> let me try this. As a male, I am somewhat visually attracted to a pretty woman. A pretty woman smiles, is confident, has her shoulders back, engages in conversation.
> 
> Do I notice a great ass or boobs hanging out? You bet. And I will look at those no doubt about it.
> 
> But for me sexy and feminine is how she carries herself.
> 
> There are MANY men who have the same attitudes I have.


But you probably would prefer those physical attributes rather than them not being there which is where a lot of women feel like they fail.


----------



## carlaviii

isingthebodyelectric said:


> But you probably would prefer those physical attributes rather than them not being there which is where a lot of women feel like they fail.


I know this line of thinking too well to try and talk anybody out of it. Question whether your assumptions are helping you or limiting you, that's all I'll say.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

carlaviii said:


> I know this line of thinking too well to try and talk anybody out of it. Question whether your assumptions are helping you or limiting you, that's all I'll say.


How do you mean, carlaviii?


----------



## carlaviii

isingthebodyelectric said:


> How do you mean, carlaviii?


I'll use myself as an example, since I know the data (lol). 

I spent most of my life being able to rationally explain, with data, why I was a disgusting fat whale that nobody would ever find attractive. This was all rooted in the assumption that I was right, the logic was sound, and my perceptions were accurate. Being and INTJ, that comes very easily, lol. 

This line of thinking may have protected me from heartbreaks, bad relationships, etc., for several decades... it also kept me shy, insecure, unconfident and *that* hampered many things. Not least of them being my professional career -- feel free to note my lack of one. Another being my inability to end a miserable marriage until very recently. From my perspective now, it's easy to see how these assumptions did far more harm to me than good. 

Nobody could have convinced me I was attractive, five or ten years ago. Nobody. I even assumed my husband was mildly delusional for being with me. I could defend my position to the bitter end. So I know better than to argue with someone that's in the same trap. They are the only people who can extricate themselves. 

I hope that makes sense.


----------



## drmiller100

isingthebodyelectric said:


> But you probably would prefer those physical attributes rather than them not being there which is where a lot of women feel like they fail.


Do you have boobs? do you have an ass? Do you have a coochie? 

If so, then you have the physical attributes I require.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

drmiller100 said:


> Do you have boobs? do you have an ass? Do you have a coochie?
> 
> If so, then you have the physical attributes I require.


They're there but they are nothing noteworthy lol



> Nobody could have convinced me I was attractive, five or ten years ago. Nobody. I even assumed my husband was mildly delusional for being with me. I could defend my position to the bitter end. So I know better than to argue with someone that's in the same trap. They are the only people who can extricate themselves.
> 
> I hope that makes sense


It does. It sounds exactly like me. But, how does one know the difference between low self esteem and self hate to admitting the truth to yourself? Would an outsider have to confirm you're (not you, I mean in general or I) ugly and you're not imagining things? It's hard to tell, because you're you and nobody else is you.

:\


----------



## drmiller100

isingthebodyelectric said:


> They're there but they are nothing noteworthy lol
> 
> 
> :\


Sigh.

I've got bad news for you. 

The only thing which makes ANY ass, coochie, or set of boobs noteworthy is who they are attached to and whether I'm allowed to play with them.

When you figure out you are valuable, sexy, and feminine you will BE those things.

It starts with you valuing yourself.


----------



## FallingSlowly

Wellsy said:


> Have you ever felt that you were sexy?


Yes. These days more often than not. BUT... 

It's really tricky to say "You need to find this within yourself". Whilst it is true to an extent, it's not as simple as that either, because the feedback you get, often from a very young age, defines how you feel about yourself. You can't just erase that, no matter how much you try to rationalise it. Doesn't matter if it's related to looks, intelligence, success/career....

I was a real late bloomer physically, and I lived through many years of bullying because of that. Then I developed into someone who seems to be perceived as reasonably attractive (that development happened within a relatively short timeframe), and I couldn't deal with it, because the former experience made me think people must be blind or liars. 
I was also unhappy in my job because I was surrounded by very levelheaded people who just thought that an artistic streak is nice as a hobby, nothing more. So no confidence in what turned out to be my calling for a long time either. No confidence = not feeling sexy. Absolutely true in my case.

I can honestly say that I didn't start to feel sexy up until my late 20s, and that transition was a very slow one. It took a lot of letting go, building on positive feedback, getting a bit more open an adventurous because of it (and often going back to square one in the process), taking risks, getting positive feedback again, being happier with my career - and also seeing myself through the eyes of my partner. Might sound odd, but it's the truth. However, I possibly wouldn't be with him if I still had the mindset of my 20 year old self. I was already a lot more confident when we met. It is true though: I feel sexy because of the way he looks at me, and I won't deny it.

I will be 39 this year. I feel a lot sexier than I did at 19, or even 29, for all the reasons mentioned above. It is a process that has a lot to do with how I see myself, but this is also linked to how other people see me. Bit of a chicken and egg situation


----------



## Dragearen

What might be going through a woman's head when she is very interested in talking to you, and you have deep conversations, and then all of a sudden starts avoiding you? No conflict, no moves, nothing, just sudden avoidance?


----------



## carlaviii

isingthebodyelectric said:


> It does. It sounds exactly like me. But, how does one know the difference between low self esteem and self hate to admitting the truth to yourself?


Low self esteem and self hate are joined at the hip. Can't have one without the other. 



> Would an outsider have to confirm you're (not you, I mean in general or I) ugly and you're not imagining things?


Getting confirmations that you're not attractive is the easiest thing in the world. If you mean would outside confirmation that you're attractive change things... no, not on their own. Because compliments will just bounce off your ears if you're certain that you're not attractive. 

What happened to me was a fundamental break in that confidence that I was perceiving reality correctly. I could no longer ignore that I had been lying to myself for years about being happily married and that things were getting better. Worse, that *nothing* was going to change unless I did it myself -- and it was going to be an uphill fight out of the pit of despair. 

That was a bad day, as you can guess. But it broke a lot of my assumptions and left me open to possibilities. The first new idea I got was by way of a regular yoga practice -- that my body is actually quite functional and normal. Wild idea, right? 



> It's hard to tell, because you're you and nobody else is you. :\


Very true. But you're also the only person who can forgive you for not being perfect. And you're the only person who will survive what the world throws at you.


----------



## sraddatz

Carlavii, do you still have an extremely negative self image? I'm sure you're an attractive woman with a few attributes that men enjoy. even if you're heavy, if you present y yourself well, that's really sexy, too! It shows confidence! 

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## Jennywocky

Dragearen said:


> What might be going through a woman's head when she is very interested in talking to you, and you have deep conversations, and then all of a sudden starts avoiding you? No conflict, no moves, nothing, just sudden avoidance?


- She likes talking to you, then gets a vibe from you she doesn't like and decides to pull away. This could be something you said or did, or some attitude you hold that she doesn't like, or she feels you are getting too close and not respecting her boundaries.

- She likes talking to you, realizes she likes you, but for some reason of her own doesn't want things to proceed past that. For example, she's interested in someone else; she's already involved and doesn't want to confuse her SO or look tied down; she's had bad experiences and is suddenly feeling vulnerable; she plans to move or can't invest as much time as she did, etc.

Also, the unexplained pull-away is more typical of women, I think, and in the space before a relationship occurs; part of it is because of female interaction styles which tend to minimize overt conflict/disagreement and preserve a veneer of politeness, it's "safer" for women to not be blunt or to minimize conflict especially in how to deal with a man she's not in a mutual relationship with or knows super well. (I think females can be far more combative once in a committed het relationship with a guy, once she knows him; and at that point, he's more the one to avoid conflict and not want to get into personal spats.)

I know I've had to be careful at times how I engage men I meet simply due to the sexual attraction factor. Specifically, I can enjoy my female friends as much as I like, but depending on circumstance, it's very easy to just enjoy a time with a guy and then suddenly find him interested romantically/sexually when I wasn't interested in that at all and now I have a problem to deal with. Personality styles differ among women, some are more blunt or more skilled with that kind of thing, and other women just feel more uncomfortable and don't like dealing with it. So as a woman I have found I need to be aware of where things are going and might go, and cut off any signals ahead of time, to prevent misunderstandings. It kind of sucks, but I have to be conscious of it.


----------



## carlaviii

sraddatz said:


> Carlavii, do you still have an extremely negative self image? I'm sure you're an attractive woman with a few attributes that men enjoy. even if you're heavy, if you present y yourself well, that's really sexy, too! It shows confidence!


No. I like to think I've found a balance, mentally. I see myself as a mix of positives and negatives -- and I believe that's as it should be. I'll never be perfect and there is nothing wrong with that. There are men who find me attractive and there are men who don't. There's nothing wrong with that. 

Confidence is very sexy, I know we can all agree on that! It definitely makes a difference among guys who aren't categorically opposed to my body type...


----------



## Wellsy

What's your thoughts on people who destroy property or assault their partner because they find out they cheated?


----------



## Superfluous

Wellsy said:


> What's your thoughts on people who destroy property or assault their partner because they find out they cheated?


"Coulda saw that coming."
I don't like the assault issue at all, and I rather the house be burned down than you assault your partner. 
I never been on any side of that situation, or near it, but if they hurt you because you hurt them, well.. It's a crime of passion usually, and most of the time, understandable. just burn the house down if you must, key their car, but dont beat down or do anything worse to your partner.


----------



## Jennywocky

Yes, from a deterministic perspective, if you cheat on someone, it sets events in motions of which assault and destruction of property are two of the outcomes. I can't say I would be surprised at those outcomes.

However, they are still negative harmful acts in themselves that trigger their own cycle of outrage and violence. (Note that legally we don't make excuses for people who have been cheated on either; arson, vandalism, and physical assault are still crimes regardless of whether you were cheated on or not.)

Also, if someone who is angry is capable of destroying property or hurting another human being, that unsettles me and leaves me wary of being close to them. Either they were reacting spontaneously, which means if I get too close to them and accidentally trigger anger, I could be hurt since they don't have the force of will or desire to stop themselves; or they planned it all out, which renders it even less excusable to me, as it shows vindictiveness and again not a "good risk" for me to get close to such a person.

I think as the party who was betrayed, they do have every right to feel hurt and anger and seek compensation/resolution for the harm done to them, it's just that becoming a "hurter" in turn doesn't help them or anyone else -- it damages themselves and others.

I will also say that someone who actively betrays someone else in a relationship, persisting in a lie or not simply leaving a relationship they no longer wish to be in and thus taking advantage of an unknowing partner, also loses my respect.


----------



## Animal

Wellsy said:


> ..


*Have you met, or know many men who you consider honorable men?*
Yes. I have met just as many honorable men as honorable women, and I've met dishonorable men and women too. Sadly dishonorable people are more common.

*If you've had any children, what was pregnancy like?*
Never had.

*Are you more in control of your orgasm, that it's easier to achieve it as you understand and control your body better?*
Easier, yes. Better? No. The intimacy and emotional experience and lack of complete control… the _vulnerability_.. makes it better with someone else.

*What do you think the best parts of being a woman are?*
That I am in control of whether I carry out a pregnancy or not.

I don't want to have kids. If I were a straight man I would constantly be worried that my woman would get pregnant and decide to keep it and then my whole life would be out of my hands. I would do the right thing, step up, and put that child before anything else - but it would not be my choice or under my control. As a woman I have control over this. I also have more control over whether I get pregnant in the first place (my preferred method).

Aside from that, I would be just as happy to be a man or a woman. I'd be myself either way. There are aspects of my personality that I think most people would honor more deeply if I were a man. For instance my hopeless romanticism. In a woman, getting on your knees to declare your love for a man is 'desperate' but if a man does it, it's 'romantic.' Etc. But I ignore it , and be myself, and people can take it or leave it. That being said, outside of my fantasies, I have yet to get down on my knees and declare love, yet many have done it for me. So maybe I am better off as a woman after all.


----------



## phony

How much does it hurt to wax your labia? :/


----------



## Wellsy

Is there a difference between flirting and joking around/banter?
Or are they the same but the intention that changes it?

Yes I can imagine this is a prick of a question to try and define in words


----------



## Superfluous

phony said:


> How much does it hurt to wax your labia? :/


You get used to it??? ahaha
I would suggest waxing a friend's testicles & mentally documenting his reaction. 
It's good fun!


----------



## phony

Superfluous said:


> You get used to it??? ahaha


So... a lot? 




> I would suggest waxing a friend's testicles & mentally documenting his reaction.
> It's good fun!


LOL WHY


----------



## Superfluous

phony said:


> So... a lot?
> 
> LOL WHY


I take valium before I go. Hurts like bitch. 
A little less and less everytime.

I dont know, sounds kinda funny ahaha
whatever his reaction is, I can bet it reflects a girls first time at the wax salon.


----------



## phony

Superfluous said:


> I take valium before I go. Hurts like bitch.
> A little less and less everytime.
> 
> I dont know, sounds kinda funny ahaha
> whatever his reaction is, I can bet it reflects a girls first time at the wax salon.


oh my god i am never going ever. do they ever tear skin off by accident? does it hurt more than waxing legs and shit


----------



## Superfluous

phony said:


> oh my god i am never going ever. do they ever tear skin off by accident? does it hurt more than waxing legs and shit


if my wimpy ass can go, you can go xD and with waxing thats always a risk but if theyre professionals, then hardly. 
ofc it does.. thats a fragile area! lolol


----------



## phony

Superfluous said:


> if my wimpy ass can go, you can go xD and with waxing thats always a risk but if theyre professionals, then hardly.
> ofc it does.. thats a fragile area! lolol


UGHHHHHH i have such a low pain tolerance lol. How long does it stay hairless?


----------



## Superfluous

phony said:


> UGHHHHHH i have such a low pain tolerance lol. How long does it stay hairless?


Lol youre cute, about 6 weeks or so. Much better than shaving all the time!


----------



## phony

Superfluous said:


> Lol youre cute, about 6 weeks or so. Much better than shaving all the time!


yes, my pain and crying is cute :,l

i had to get a bloodtest last year, my mum held my hand AND i cried :<


----------



## Superfluous

phony said:


> yes, my pain and crying is cute :,l
> 
> i had to get a bloodtest last year, my mum held my hand AND i cried :<


Awh, youre so precious! Trust me, it gets better with time. If you wanna skip all that, just use nair - no pain! And to make sure your downstairs doesnt get burned by the chemicals, it's best with the clay version of nair - its the one that claims is shower proof.

And sorry, I thought you were a boy, dont watch your friends get his balls waxed ! omg


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## sraddatz

So what is the best way to maintain the "hair down there"?

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


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## phony

Superfluous said:


> Awh, youre so precious! Trust me, it gets better with time. If you wanna skip all that, just use nair - no pain! And to make sure your downstairs doesnt get burned by the chemicals, it's best with the clay version of nair - its the one that claims is shower proof.
> 
> And sorry, I thought you were a boy, dont watch your friends get his balls waxed ! omg


wtf you do it yourself? D: how does it not hurt? OH WAIT is nair the cream?


----------



## carlaviii

Wellsy said:


> Is there a difference between flirting and joking around/banter?
> Or are they the same but the intention that changes it?


Innuendo is the difference... the grey area comes from innuendo being so open to interpretation. Or, in the eye of the beholder.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

I have a question, after watching a Metro PCS commerial about "Period Power", what were your thoughts? Did any of you question whether this company forgot women existed when they compared their contract to a period? lol

I'm just wondering because every time I see that commercial, I question the sanity of the people who made it.


----------



## carlaviii

sraddatz said:


> Are any of you ladies familiar with "love languages"? I do a lot of things for my wife in the form of work. I fix things to give her a nice home and keep her car in shape. I've started doing the laundry, and I am the one that really keeps the house clean. I really feel like I don't get much in return,.especially when it comes to sex. Could it be her love language is so different, she doesn't understand thus is how I show I love her?


It's entirely possible. I'm not an expert on the love languages stuff, but I seem to recall the test saying I wanted the "quality time" expression of love -- true enough, meaningful conversations are very important to me. And I sure wasn't getting that from my husband, for the last 5-10 years of our marriage. I couldn't tell you what his love language is.


----------



## sraddatz

carlaviii said:


> It's entirely possible. I'm not an expert on the love languages stuff, but I seem to recall the test saying I wanted the "quality time" expression of love -- true enough, meaningful conversations are very important to me. And I sure wasn't getting that from my husband, for the last 5-10 years of our marriage. I couldn't tell you what his love language is.


We really struggle with conversations sometimes. Most of the time, it's ok. Like when were talking about the kids or our finances. Yes we actually agree on where or money should go. 

I think the education gap is huge for me. We got married before I finished college and got my masters. My wife is smart. I wouldn't have married her if she wasn't. She is working on her associates. My interests were changed drastically from my education. She's totally bored by the things I find most exciting. I understand that all or interests don't line up.


----------



## Falling Leaves

Mr. Meepers said:


> I have a question, after watching a Metro PCS commerial about "Period Power", what were your thoughts? Did any of you question whether this company forgot women existed when they compared their contract to a period? lol
> 
> I'm just wondering because every time I see that commercial, I question the sanity of the people who made it.


I have never seen that advert before, but holy fuck, am I now baffled. 

Ugh. I've always hated ads which talk down at women having periods - have a happy period, while we pretend it's some wonderful and empowering thing to bleed out of your vagina every month onto our products. 

Contrary to popular belief, periods don't stop women from living their everyday lives as normal - yes, we can still leap and dance about - it's just companies like to pretend it's some horrible debilitating thing so we'll buy their products to feel 'normal'.


----------



## Falling Leaves

DemonD said:


> This may be a silly question.
> 
> But foreplay, is that to "warm up"(in lack of better words) the lady parts?
> 
> To get the ball rolling so to speak?


Yes. Physically, women are more similar to men than we give credit - they _typically_ need arousal to reach orgasm, it's just there's not so much a clear visual indicator (so to speak).

Imagine someone giving you a blowjob from the point of nonarousal. Now imagine getting a blowie after someone has really, really turned you on. 

Which one feels better? Which one makes you come more easily? Women work the same - believe me, so long as you spend enough time warming up the engine, you'll have no problem getting it roaring away :wink:


----------



## snowbell

*wants to ask dumb question*
*location is in public leading to certain future embarrassment*
*can't stop wondering*

.


----------



## sraddatz

Ask away. The ladies on here are quite understanding.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## carlaviii

snowbell said:


> *wants to ask dumb question*
> *location is in public leading to certain future embarrassment*
> *can't stop wondering*





sraddatz said:


> Ask away. The ladies on here are quite understanding.


He knows that. Come on Snowbell, don't be shy. :happy:


----------



## virtual

Monistat 1, 3, or 7?


----------



## monemi

virtual said:


> Monistat 1, 3, or 7?


3. I don't trust 1 to work but hell if I wanna do that 7 times.


----------



## snowbell

sraddatz said:


> Ask away. The ladies on here are quite understanding.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


Indeed! This thread is incredibly helpful... And thank you again to all the contributors: it's really really appreciated



carlaviii said:


> He knows that. Come on Snowbell, don't be shy.


I umm... Erm...

Okay here goes... What is it like to have boobs in day to day life? Like, are they annoying for some reason? Do you have to have any special considerations? Do you do anything with them? How often do you notice them? Do they obscure the view of your feet?


----------



## FallingSlowly

:laughing:
Okay...


snowbell said:


> What is it like to have boobs in day to day life?


Most of the time, they're pretty good to have I guess. I like my boobs, I think they look good. They don't feel like a major nuisance to me, they're part of my womanly essence 



> Like, are they annoying for some reason?


Very occasionally, when I suffer from PMS and they hurt. That's about it though.



> Do you have to have any special considerations?


Hand on tit and aimless nipple-tweaking don't necessarily do the trick; it's not hot by default and can actually be uncomfortable. Listen and learn 



> Do you do anything with them?


Put them into nice underwear/clothes. Get them out of nice underwear/clothes. Flash them at my partner. Use them for various pleasurable activities in various ways.



> How often do you notice them?


When they hurt, when people look at them, when I use them for aforementioned activities.



> Do they obscure the view of your feet?


Nope, I'm tall, slim and have moderately sized boobs, so I think they'd need to grow considerably to obstruct any views on anything...


----------



## monemi

snowbell said:


> Indeed! This thread is incredibly helpful... And thank you again to all the contributors: it's really really appreciated
> 
> 
> 
> I umm... Erm...
> 
> Okay here goes... What is it like to have boobs in day to day life? Like, are they annoying for some reason? Do you have to have any special considerations? Do you do anything with them? How often do you notice them? Do they obscure the view of your feet?


I have smallish breasts. Not really a problem. I find it awkward in tight crowds. I tend to carry a drink or something in front of them so I don't squeeze by people pressing my tits against them. Or bring my arms up either side. First because it kinda hurts if you get an elbow to the boob and people are prone to swinging elbows around at just that height. Second because touching my breasts against strangers is just a bit too intimate for my tastes. 

Do I do anything with them? Like what? I put them in bras and they play a role in sex. 

How often do I notice them? How often do you notice your balls? I'd hazard the guess about the same. I noticed them a lot when I was breastfeeding. I caught a round of mastitis, with fever and chills and immense burning pain. Yay anti-biotics! 

Do they obscure the view of my feet? If I'm laying flat on my back with my head resting, I can see my toes if I look straight down.


----------



## sraddatz

monemi said:


> I have smallish breasts. Not really a problem. I find it awkward in tight crowds. I tend to carry a drink or something in front of them so I don't squeeze by people pressing my tits against them. Or bring my arms up either side. First because it kinda hurts if you get an elbow to the boob and people are prone to swinging elbows around at just that height. Second because touching my breasts against strangers is just a bit too intimate for my tastes.
> 
> Do I do anything with them? Like what? I put them in bras and they play a role in sex.
> 
> How often do I notice them? How often do you notice your balls? I'd hazard the guess about the same. I noticed them a lot when I was breastfeeding. I caught a round of mastitis, with fever and chills and immense burning pain. Yay anti-biotics!
> 
> Do they obscure the view of my feet? If I'm laying flat on my back with my head resting, I can see my toes if I look straight down.


Mastitis, ow! we read about that before our first. We were lucky to dodge that bullet.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## monemi

sraddatz said:


> Mastitis, ow! we read about that before our first. We were lucky to dodge that bullet.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


I had major oversupply issues. You know when people assume bigger breasts mean more milk and smaller breasts mean less milk. Crock of shit. Oversupply issues lead to mastitis. My Grandad's cows used to have that problem and that's all I could associate it with. :blushed:


----------



## sraddatz

I remember coming home to my wife on the couch with the pump hooked up on more than one occasion. I'm a city boy. It reminded me of the state fair.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## monemi

sraddatz said:


> I remember coming home to my wife on the couch with the pump hooked up on more than one occasion. I'm a city boy. It reminded me of the state fair.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


Sexy ain't it? 

My mother's family are rural and my father's family are urban. I'm an army brat that's lived a lot of both. I tend to think of myself as a city girl, but I've done more than my fair share working on that farm during summers growing up.


----------



## carlaviii

snowbell said:


> I umm... Erm...
> 
> Okay here goes... What is it like to have boobs in day to day life? Like, are they annoying for some reason? Do you have to have any special considerations? Do you do anything with them? How often do you notice them? Do they obscure the view of your feet?


Well, I've got pretty large ones so yes, they do get in the way sometimes and they can be annoying. It's a constant fight to keep all my shirts from having spots in the upper quarter or so where food falls on my "shelf." Anything that falls down my cleavage could be in there a while. And finding a bra that fits properly... 

I don't see my feet often, no. The yoga helps with that. 

I mostly keep them under wraps, but sometimes I'll show the cleavage off a bit. They are not very sensitive, so they are easier to ignore than you might think.


----------



## Sina

snowbell said:


> I umm... Erm...


:laughing: It's okay. XD



> Okay here goes... What is it like to have boobs in day to day life?


It's great. They're there, and I love em. I have very sensitive ones, and I find them quite sensual. I love boobs. <3 




> Like, are they annoying for some reason?


Mine hurt on my period, and they also get tender and swollen at the time. My bras get tighter, and it's just painful all around. 

Oh, sometimes, when I am sleeping next to someone, my boobs get pinched by their arm if they're placed in a certain position.

Hmm..getting elbowed in the boobs when in a queue is also quite annoying. I just end up shielding them with my arm or something.



> Do you have to have any special considerations?


Like what? lofl No. They're a bit big (36DD), so I'd like the _special consideration_ of people not looking at me with dollar signs in their eyes. 




> Do you do anything with them?



I stuff them in and out bras (though, I stay bra less at home and go out bra less when I can and its practical to do so). I dress them in sensual clothes and, at times, plain comfy clothes. 
I can orgasm from breast stimulation alone, so I use them for my daily doses of cosmic orgasms. :laughing: 
I use them to put on fancy nipple clamps.
I enjoy feeling mouths and hands on them, and enjoy all kinds of sexy stuffs done to them, where a lover is concerned. So, I flash em and present em for aforementioned use to my partners. 
I look forward to breastfeeding a child or children some day. 

Etc. etc..



> How often do you notice them?


Sometimes



> Do they obscure the view of your feet?


No, they do not. Though, I expect them to grow to a nice 36 F whenever I get pregnant. I am going to troll this prissy ass world, so bad..when that happens. And yeah, that obscuration of view, you mention, would be a trip. XD


----------



## drmiller100

Cosmic Orgasm said:


> :laughing:
> I can orgasm from breast stimulation alone, so I use them for my daily doses of cosmic orgasms. :laughing:
> I use them to put on fancy nipple clamps.
> I enjoy feeling mouths and hands on them, and enjoy all kinds of sexy stuffs done to them, where a lover is concerned. So, I flash em and present em for aforementioned use to my partners.
> D



Pics? 

Please?

Nipple orgasm is cool shit. Seen it a few times. Cool stuff.


----------



## Sina

drmiller100 said:


> Pics?
> 
> Please?


Disappointingly inappropriate remark coming from you, neither clever nor funny.


----------



## sraddatz

Cosmic Orgasm said:


> Disappointingly inappropriate remark coming from you, neither clever nor funny.


the thought of boobs tend to eliminate all humor and intelligence from even the most educated men. Wait, what was I saying?


----------



## ENTrePreneur

carlaviii said:


> He knows that. Come on Snowbell, don't be shy. :happy:


Um. Can you post one more time? The fact that you're 1 post away from being VIP is annoying me.. XD :kitteh:


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## ENTrePreneur

Um. Ok. So which do y'all prefer.. a romantic date by candlelight and fancy stuff and stuff... and the guy is willing to spend anything for you, and while he isn't necessarily awkward, the entire date is silent...

Or maybe a not - so romantic date.. that's a bit more on the cheap side, but where every moment is spent discussing like.. important things and stuff? 

Did I explain well? I don't know..


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## drmiller100

Cosmic Orgasm said:


> Disappointingly inappropriate remark coming from you, neither clever nor funny.


was meant as a joke. should have put a smiley on it.


----------



## Sina

ENTrePeneur said:


> Um. Ok. So which do y'all prefer.. a romantic date by candlelight and fancy stuff and stuff... and the guy is willing to spend anything for you, and while he isn't necessarily awkward, the entire date is silent...



No way dude. 

I don't care about the guy spending blah blah blah. This is a terrible idea. 



> Or maybe a not - so romantic date.. that's a bit more on the cheap side, but where every moment is spent discussing like.. important things and stuff?
> 
> Did I explain well? I don't know..


Affordable and fun, where we get to know each other and focus on each other is the best kind of date. :3


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## ENTrePreneur

Cosmic Orgasm said:


> No way dude.
> 
> I don't care about the guy spending blah blah blah. This is a terrible idea.
> 
> 
> 
> Affordable and fun, where we get to know each other and focus on each other is the best kind of date. :3


Yes! Yay! I am awesome!


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## carlaviii

ENTrePeneur said:


> Um. Ok. So which do y'all prefer.. a romantic date by candlelight and fancy stuff and stuff... and the guy is willing to spend anything for you, and while he isn't necessarily awkward, the entire date is silent...
> 
> Or maybe a not - so romantic date.. that's a bit more on the cheap side, but where every moment is spent discussing like.. important things and stuff?
> 
> Did I explain well? I don't know..


Yes, you explained well. I would definitely prefer the latter, having fun and getting to know each other. Dates are about connecting as humans! 

Let me enjoy the symmetry of my 999 posts for a moment...


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## monemi

ENTrePeneur said:


> Um. Ok. So which do y'all prefer.. a romantic date by candlelight and fancy stuff and stuff... and the guy is willing to spend anything for you, and while he isn't necessarily awkward, the entire date is silent...
> 
> Or maybe a not - so romantic date.. that's a bit more on the cheap side, but where every moment is spent discussing like.. important things and stuff?
> 
> Did I explain well? I don't know..


Fun date would be my preference. Talking about 'important' things? Depends if I find what he has to say interesting.


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## HellCat

ENTrePeneur said:


> Um. Ok. So which do y'all prefer.. a romantic date by candlelight and fancy stuff and stuff... and the guy is willing to spend anything for you, and while he isn't necessarily awkward, the entire date is silent...
> 
> Or maybe a not - so romantic date.. that's a bit more on the cheap side, but where every moment is spent discussing like.. important things and stuff?
> 
> Did I explain well? I don't know..


Neither. Fancy is boring. More of a beer and chili dogs girl and great banter, fighting, witty conversation, passionate discussions about film/music/art/etc. I have no idea what you mean by important things, sounds like code for "female talk" No thanks. I avoid that torture until necessary.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

snowbell said:


> Okay here goes... What is it like to have boobs in day to day life? Like, are they annoying for some reason? Do you have to have any special considerations? Do you do anything with them? How often do you notice them? Do they obscure the view of your feet?


I forget I have them because they're so small lol. At least they're not going to get ogled.  They're nothing special, don't get the fascination (in general).


----------



## HellCat

snowbell said:


> Indeed! This thread is incredibly helpful... And thank you again to all the contributors: it's really really appreciated
> 
> 
> 
> I umm... Erm...
> 
> Okay here goes... What is it like to have boobs in day to day life? Like, are they annoying for some reason? Do you have to have any special considerations? Do you do anything with them? How often do you notice them? Do they obscure the view of your feet?


Its nice. They make a great accessory. 

They can be annoying if you inadvertently pull down a cami walking through a store, carrying a big box of paper, flashing the world til you feel the icy wind on them and your sister in law is dying laughing after she realizes why everyone you passed was gaping or glaring at you.

Special considerations? Um I double or triple up on sports bras just for walking. 

I notice them all the time, I am quite fond of them. 

I used to cover them up with a huge cardigan in jr high until my english teacher wrestled it off me. Told me to stop being a freak and hiding a very generous gift from nature.

I like to stare at them in the mirror. I am not discussing my sexual practices here. 

Yes they obscure the view of everything. 

My parrot, my siamese cat and my very strange niece all love to motorboat me, push on them and watch them bounce up at times. They also work nicely at winning in debates. 

I also suspect my straight girl friends passion for and love of me has to do with wanting to bounce them at times.

looks shiftily @Cosmic Orgasm


----------



## sraddatz

What do you ladies wish your SO's would do for you that doesn't happen as often as you like? Can be sexual, but I'm thinking more in general terms.



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## Snakecharmer

Snakecharmer said:


> It's been like Jerry Springer. LOL
> 
> I'm dropping the relationship, yes, but it is going to be really hard...but I know it is for the best. I'll keep myself busy and distracted.


An update, for those who were following my posts about my insane, lying, cheating, control-freak boyfriend:

I finally ended it. I kept trying and he kept talking me out of it...reminding me of all the ways he's changed so far, etc...reminding me of our passion and how I'm the love of his life, etc...

Well, two nights ago, I was lying in bed, thinking...and I just couldn't shake this feeling that he was probably still flirting around on Facebook even though he swore he wasn't (because, as we all know, his word means nothing). I remembered this one girl flirting with him quite a bit on his wall a while back. She moved out of state, but I just had this nagging feeling that they were still talking and there was probably some flirting going on on her FB wall.

So, I went to her wall and sure enough...she posted a picture of her holding her baby (yeah, she has a baby but is single...not sure what the story is with that). You can't see much of the girl - it is mostly the baby. My scumbag (ex)boyfriend "liked" the pic and then commented, "Wow, what a cutie...but we need to see more of mom in that pic  "

But I was forbidden from commenting on men's pictures, winking at any posts or comments, "liking" comments from men, interacting with men in any way (on FB or otherwise), and forbidden from visiting forums (HA).

If a male friend winked within a comment on FB, I was forbidden from "liking" that comment, no matter what the subject was.

Whenever I went to the gym without him, I was questioned about who I talked to there. I'm buddies with two male trainers there and he couldn't stand that.

He was projecting.

He's a pig. He called women at the gym "fat" all the time. He ran into a female friend at his gym and told me "She's huge!" How cruel! 

He tried to push me to use steroids, too. What is WRONG with him?

So, after I saw that FB comment he made on that girl's picture, I texted him and said this:

"This relationship is over. You are a lying hypocrite control freak. I want nothing to do with you. You are now free to flirt with whomever you'd like on Facebook."

His response (it was around 12:30 am and he takes sleeping pills, so I know he was out of it):

"Who did I flirt with"

My response:

"LOL. It doesn't matter. You are a lying hypocrite. I don't even want to talk to you - ever. Don't contact me."

I've heard nothing since.

We have a mutual friend who I'll call "M". She dated him briefly a few years ago and knows him pretty well. I decided to send her a message on FB to let her know we broke up, because she sometimes sends us group texts and I didn't want things to be awkward.

I kept it simple and didn't say anything negative about him - until she did. She was shocked that I ended things. I told her I didn't want to say anything negative since they are close. She said, "Oh my God, he is such a jerk...what did he do to you? Wait - was it other women? He hasn't changed!"

I said, "Yes, there was a lot of flirting, and he refused to change his FB relationship status because he claimed he didn't want to rub it in his ex's face since they still live together."

Her response: "Oh my God, they still live together? He told me he moved out a long time ago and lives in C___ now!"

So, he is even lying to friends about where he lives!

I told M that yes, he still lives with her, and he was still sort of in a relationship with her when he started things with me, and that his now-ex messaged me on FB and that's what led to them actually breaking up (supposedly). She was stunned.

She said he's always been a huge liar and she has never approved of how he treats women. 

Thank God I finally got this train wreck out of my life.

I feel so free now.


----------



## Sina

@_Snakecharmer_

What a filthy fuckin pig! Spineless lil shit, don't...even pardon my french. Ew esp. @ fat shaming, curbing your freedoms and fuckin forcing you to take stereoids...*SMH* 

I am so glad you're no longer in that toxic and abusive situation.

p.s. will respond to PM response soon. i forgot all about it.


----------



## sraddatz

Snakecharmer said:


> An update, for those who were following my posts about my insane, lying, cheating, control-freak boyfriend:
> 
> I finally ended it. I kept trying and he kept talking me out of it...reminding me of all the ways he's changed so far, etc...reminding me of our passion and how I'm the love of his life, etc...
> 
> Well, two nights ago, I was lying in bed, thinking...and I just couldn't shake this feeling that he was probably still flirting around on Facebook even though he swore he wasn't (because, as we all know, his word means nothing). I remembered this one girl flirting with him quite a bit on his wall a while back. She moved out of state, but I just had this nagging feeling that they were still talking and there was probably some flirting going on on her FB wall.
> 
> So, I went to her wall and sure enough...she posted a picture of her holding her baby (yeah, she has a baby but is single...not sure what the story is with that). You can't see much of the girl - it is mostly the baby. My scumbag (ex)boyfriend "liked" the pic and then commented, "Wow, what a cutie...but we need to see more of mom in that pic  "
> 
> But I was forbidden from commenting on men's pictures, winking at any posts or comments, "liking" comments from men, interacting with men in any way (on FB or otherwise), and forbidden from visiting forums (HA).
> 
> If a male friend winked within a comment on FB, I was forbidden from "liking" that comment, no matter what the subject was.
> 
> Whenever I went to the gym without him, I was questioned about who I talked to there. I'm buddies with two male trainers there and he couldn't stand that.
> 
> He was projecting.
> 
> He's a pig. He called women at the gym "fat" all the time. He ran into a female friend at his gym and told me "She's huge!" How cruel!
> 
> He tried to push me to use steroids, too. What is WRONG with him?
> 
> So, after I saw that FB comment he made on that girl's picture, I texted him and said this:
> 
> "This relationship is over. You are a lying hypocrite control freak. I want nothing to do with you. You are now free to flirt with whomever you'd like on Facebook."
> 
> His response (it was around 12:30 am and he takes sleeping pills, so I know he was out of it):
> 
> "Who did I flirt with"
> 
> My response:
> 
> "LOL. It doesn't matter. You are a lying hypocrite. I don't even want to talk to you - ever. Don't contact me."
> 
> I've heard nothing since.
> 
> We have a mutual friend who I'll call "M". She dated him briefly a few years ago and knows him pretty well. I decided to send her a message on FB to let her know we broke up, because she sometimes sends us group texts and I didn't want things to be awkward.
> 
> I kept it simple and didn't say anything negative about him - until she did. She was shocked that I ended things. I told her I didn't want to say anything negative since they are close. She said, "Oh my God, he is such a jerk...what did he do to you? Wait - was it other women? He hasn't changed!"
> 
> I said, "Yes, there was a lot of flirting, and he refused to change his FB relationship status because he claimed he didn't want to rub it in his ex's face since they still live together."
> 
> Her response: "Oh my God, they still live together? He told me he moved out a long time ago and lives in C___ now!"
> 
> So, he is even lying to friends about where he lives!
> 
> I told M that yes, he still lives with her, and he was still sort of in a relationship with her when he started things with me, and that his now-ex messaged me on FB and that's what led to them actually breaking up (supposedly). She was stunned.
> 
> She said he's always been a huge liar and she has never approved of how he treats women.
> 
> Thank God I finally got this train wreck out of my life.
> 
> I feel so free now.


Good for you. Find yourself a nice nerd with a huge shlong and tons of money. You deserve it!

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## sraddatz

Cosmic Orgasm said:


> @_Snakecharmer_
> 
> What a filthy fuckin pig! Spineless lil shit, don't...even pardon my french.
> 
> I am so glad you're no longer in that toxic situation.
> 
> p.s. will respond to PM response soon. i forgot all about it.


Don't apologize. Not to me at least. I cuss like a drunken sailor.

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## Sina

sraddatz said:


> Don't apologize. Not to me at least. I cuss like a drunken sailor.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


LOL that was a joke 

And, yes, I do too lol. Though, my repertoire of cuss words is much larger in my native language .


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## sraddatz

I'm such a rational! I miss the sarcasm sometimes.

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## snowbell

OMG 6 replies! And I still have all my limbs! Wow... Thank you all so very much - I *truly* appreciate the response, as strange as the question may have seemed...



FallingSlowly said:


> :laughing:
> Okay...
> 
> Most of the time, they're pretty good to have I guess. I like my boobs, I think they look good. They don't feel like a major nuisance to me, they're part of my womanly essence
> 
> 
> Very occasionally, when I suffer from PMS and they hurt. That's about it though.
> 
> 
> Hand on tit and aimless nipple-tweaking don't necessarily do the trick; it's not hot by default and can actually be uncomfortable. Listen and learn
> 
> 
> Put them into nice underwear/clothes. Get them out of nice underwear/clothes. Flash them at my partner. Use them for various pleasurable activities in various ways.
> 
> 
> When they hurt, when people look at them, when I use them for aforementioned activities.
> 
> 
> Nope, I'm tall, slim and have moderately sized boobs, so I think they'd need to grow considerably to obstruct any views on anything...


Haha I like the term "womanly essence". I'll hazard a guess that they can be a source of insecurity for some females?

Ouch that must be painful and annoying to deal with :sad:. 

Ah fair enough... 

I take it it doesn't take long for you to notice someone's staring at them? 

I must say I'm surprised though. Like it seems all of you don't really do anything special with them. It's kind of like they're there, but eh. I'm surprised by that, since I'd always imagined there was something special done with them - what I don't know. 



monemi said:


> I have smallish breasts. Not really a problem. I find it awkward in tight crowds. I tend to carry a drink or something in front of them so I don't squeeze by people pressing my tits against them. Or bring my arms up either side. First because it kinda hurts if you get an elbow to the boob and people are prone to swinging elbows around at just that height. Second because touching my breasts against strangers is just a bit too intimate for my tastes.
> 
> Do I do anything with them? Like what? I put them in bras and they play a role in sex.
> 
> How often do I notice them? How often do you notice your balls? I'd hazard the guess about the same. I noticed them a lot when I was breastfeeding. I caught a round of mastitis, with fever and chills and immense burning pain. Yay anti-biotics!
> 
> Do they obscure the view of my feet? If I'm laying flat on my back with my head resting, I can see my toes if I look straight down.


Oh! Oh yeah I can see why that'd be an issue. 

As I said above, I don't know haha. I have been convinced there was something that was done with them. Something mysterious haha.

Well, to be frank, rather often. Like, to use your examples of moving around, if I'm in an area where there's a tight crowd or I have to move around, that's going to (automatically) be my first consideration - given how sensitive they are I obviously don't want to bump into something or be bumped into something. Also sometimes the position they rest in can be uncomfortable which would lead to me noticing them. 

And ouch :sad:. 

Another thing - do you (this is directed at everyone) have a preference? Like, do you prefer the right one over the left, or is it like ears where both of them work in tandem and you kind of forget they're in a pair?



carlaviii said:


> Well, I've got pretty large ones so yes, they do get in the way sometimes and they can be annoying. It's a constant fight to keep all my shirts from having spots in the upper quarter or so where food falls on my "shelf." *Anything that falls down my cleavage could be in there a while.* And finding a bra that fits properly...
> 
> I don't see my feet often, no. The yoga helps with that.
> 
> I mostly keep them under wraps, but sometimes I'll show the cleavage off a bit. They are not very sensitive, so they are easier to ignore than you might think.


What do you mean? And as a general note, are they difficult to take care of? Like washing, moisturizing, etc? And are bras hard to fit or something? Is there a comparable experience that I might understand better?

Yoga?

See there it is again. You don't seem super concerned haha.


----------



## FallingSlowly

snowbell said:


> Haha I like the term "womanly essence". I'll hazard a guess that they can be a source of insecurity for some females?


They can be as much a source of insecurity as any other physical attribute, only that they're a secondary sex characteristic. Therefore, some people seem to place an awful lot of importance on them when they're just normal really, no matter what shape or size they come in.

I had literally no boobs until I was 15/16, and I got bullied for it (more by girls than by guys btw). It wasn't just my tits however - I was just not "stereotypical" in many ways (not only related to looks), so I guess that was just an easy one to zoom in on.

It all changed, they just grew a bit later I guess. The problem aren't really the boobs - it's stupid behaviour of some people, and listening too much to those morons, that causes insecurities. Or caring too much about "what a woman has to look like".



> Ouch that must be painful and annoying to deal with.


It's painful at times, but nothing that can't be dealt with. Nutrition plays a major part in keeping these effects as low as possible. My boobs let me know straightaway if I haven't taken care of what I eat. Magic 



> I take it it doesn't take long for you to notice someone's staring at them?


Wouldn't you notice if someone _stares_ at your crotch?

The funnier ones are the guys who _think_ they're just casting a subtle glance. It's all good though, it's just biology. I look, too 



> I must say I'm surprised though. Like it seems all of you don't really do anything special with them. It's kind of like they're there, but eh. I'm surprised by that, since I'd always imagined there was something special done with them - what I don't know.


I really don't know what else one would do with them. I mean, every now and then, I have to squeeze them in a vice-like instrument to get a mammogram, but I'd gladly do without that because it f... hurts. So no, that's not special at all. Just too important not to have it done sadly.

If I start using them to play ping pong, I'll let you know 



> Another thing - do you (this is directed at everyone) have a preference? Like, do you prefer the right one over the left, or is it like ears where both of them work in tandem and you kind of forget they're in a pair?


I don't prefer one over the other, but they can feel differently on any given day, and if they're sore, the left one usually gives me a bit more trouble than the right.


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## sraddatz

Ok so I have a lot of questions about the fairer sex. Here are a few more. If you are a mother, is it exhausting? Do you have a partner to help raise your children? How do you balance making time for that partner and your kids? Do you work outside the home? Does that add to your stress, or help alleviate it? I know these are a lot of questions. I am trying to get a better understanding of what it's like on the other side.

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## Sina

Noctis said:


> What is it like having a vagina? Is it comfortable or uncomfortable? It must be a problem when guys ogle at a woman's boobs in public and at times treat them as sex objects rather than people. Do you have to put up a hard front when dealing with such pests?


A vagina is everything @_monemi_ described lol. I've never found it uncomfortable. 
A vagina is just..there and it gets nice and lubricated during arousal and certain times of the month. At those times, it's great fun LOL. I've never thought about the vagina. It's never really caused discomfort, except maybe the very first time I had sex and wasn't totally relaxed. It hurt a bit, initially and that was about it. 

As for men and objectification, it's sleazy as fuck for people to do that (and other women do it too, at times very judgmentally) and really pathetic. They just get my poker face and get ignored or if I am in a really good mood, I might make them uncomfortable by staring back or laughing at them or whatever. 





Noctis said:


> My ex was emotionally and verbally abusive. I am relieved after the breakup, which was about 10 months ago. It took a bit to get over and realize that she would not respect me still if I was in a relationship with her again. She wanted a guy who could "handle" her bluntness and "dark side" and said that I "couldn't handle her" if I was hurt by what she said to me. It was an emotional roller coaster and off and on. She played hot and cold with me and I was not sure whether she truly loved me. I kept going back to her because I feared being alone. However, I eventually had the courage to threaten a break up after she hurt my feelings in a mean way and she eventually ended it. She later texted that she wanted to be friends, but she was still cruel to me, so I ended up blocking her because she was so hurtful and mean. I learned to love and respect myself enough to end contact with her.


I am glad you left her. She wanted to be friends so she wouldn't be 'lonely'. Based on your account, she doesn't give a fuck about you. It's great that you've learnt to love and respect yourself enough to cut her out of your life. 
@_snowbell_

Generally, bras are uncomfortable when they are the wrong size or when my breasts are larger thanks to hormonal changes. But, I find them uncomfortable overall. I'd rather not wear a bra, and I don't when I can get away with it. At home, I am almost always braless unless I have professional contacts/co-workers visiting.


----------



## monemi

sraddatz said:


> Ok so I have a lot of questions about the fairer sex. Here are a few more. If you are a mother, is it exhausting? Do you have a partner to help raise your children? How do you balance making time for that partner and your kids? Do you work outside the home? Does that add to your stress, or help alleviate it? I know these are a lot of questions. I am trying to get a better understanding of what it's like on the other side.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


This all depends on a lot of factors. In the under 5 crowd, it's exhausting. What I found interesting is that one child takes up a lot of attention because they lack distractions. So they depend on you for their entertainment. When there are siblings, there's more work to do because there are more kids, but you aren't the soul source of entertainment. So they require less undivided attention. In that way, I found it didn't get easier or harder going from one to two to three kids. One small child can be as time consuming as three small kids. Quite literally, you do not get a minute where you are off the clock unless someone else is looking after them and you remove yourself from your home. Can't take a piss without an audience or you have a kid outside the bathroom hammering at the door screaming because they can't see you. Even sleep isn't your own time because you have to get up when they wake up. I'd say those first 5 years in a child's life, are exhausting. 

You really need a partner who helps at this stage. If they don't help, what are they doing there? That just builds up a lot of resentment. I have a partner that helps. I had downtime. I've had friends whose partner weren't helpful and I just watched anger, bitterness and resentment heap up in record time. This is why I think so many divorces happen soon after they have kids. If the father doesn't pick up the slack, expect all hell to break loose. 

Somewhere around 4-6 years old, one day you just suddenly find they really don't need you so much. A lot of the things you've been teaching for years, start kicking in. Hopefully, if you've done a pretty good job, the hardest part (until the teens, I haven't gotten there yet) is over. 

I had my kids in Canada. Inside 5.5 years, I had 3 years parental leave. I got a pretty good look at life as SAHM vs WOHM. Going to work meant I got adult time. I looked forward to it and enjoyed working outside the home. But at the same time, there was a constant conflict of interest. Being pulled in opposite directions a lot of the time. And my career conflicting with my husbands. When my job is sending me to Vancouver and his job is calling him to New York over the same couple of days, who stays home? Plus, how shitty do you feel when you can't put your own kids to bed when you're not there? 

In my opinion, staying home will likely drive you mad from the lack of adult time. You need time away from the house. Working will cause conflict and guilt. There's a lot you miss out on in their day to day lives. I don't think working or staying home is a win. Something's going to be sacrificed either way. 

This is one long arse post. Sorry about that.


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## sraddatz

monemi said:


> This all depends on a lot of factors. In the under 5 crowd, it's exhausting. What I found interesting is that one child takes up a lot of attention because they lack distractions. So they depend on you for their entertainment. When there are siblings, there's more work to do because there are more kids, but you aren't the soul source of entertainment. So they require less undivided attention. In that way, I found it didn't get easier or harder going from one to two to three kids. One small child can be as time consuming as three small kids. Quite literally, you do not get a minute where you are off the clock unless someone else is looking after them and you remove yourself from your home. Can't take a piss without an audience or you have a kid outside the bathroom hammering at the door screaming because they can't see you. Even sleep isn't your own time because you have to get up when they wake up. I'd say those first 5 years in a child's life, are exhausting.
> 
> You really need a partner who helps at this stage. If they don't help, what are they doing there? That just builds up a lot of resentment. I have a partner that helps. I had downtime. I've had friends whose partner weren't helpful and I just watched anger, bitterness and resentment heap up in record time. This is why I think so many divorces happen soon after they have kids. If the father doesn't pick up the slack, expect all hell to break loose.
> 
> Somewhere around 4-6 years old, one day you just suddenly find they really don't need you so much. A lot of the things you've been teaching for years, start kicking in. Hopefully, if you've done a pretty good job, the hardest part (until the teens, I haven't gotten there yet) is over.
> 
> I had my kids in Canada. Inside 5.5 years, I had 3 years parental leave. I got a pretty good look at life as SAHM vs WOHM. Going to work meant I got adult time. I looked forward to it and enjoyed working outside the home. But at the same time, there was a constant conflict of interest. Being pulled in opposite directions a lot of the time. And my career conflicting with my husbands. When my job is sending me to Vancouver and his job is calling him to New York over the same couple of days, who stays home? Plus, how shitty do you feel when you can't put your own kids to bed when you're not there?
> 
> In my opinion, staying home will likely drive you mad from the lack of adult time. You need time away from the house. Working will cause conflict and guilt. There's a lot you miss out on in their day to day lives. I don't think working or staying home is a win. Something's going to be sacrificed either way.
> 
> This is one long arse post. Sorry about that.


It wasn't nearly as hard to go from 1 to 2 kids as it was to go from 0 to 1. Our kids are 6 and 8, so I can relate to the early years. 

Thanks a lot for your opinion. I couldn't imagine not taking a dump in private!

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## badwolf

What is a woman's first time like? I've heard there is lots of blood and I just need to know how to prepare in case I ever get married.


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## sraddatz

It's not like a slasher horror movie or anything like that. It doesn't spray everywhere. There's maybe a tablespoon of blood. You can just put a towel underneath her, and that should take care of it. Not a white one, either. I know that is entirely un-romantic, but it gets the job done. From what I know, not every woman bleeds her first time. 

When and if you have the chance to be intimate with a virgin, be gentle! Also keep in mind that your first time together just might be the worst sex you both will ever have. It only gets better from there.


----------



## Wellsy

What are your insecurities as a parent?
What do your internal thoughts say?


----------



## yentipeee

What's up with the little runway? Is it art, a girl thing or just fashion?


----------



## Effy

badwolf said:


> What is a woman's first time like? I've heard there is lots of blood and I just need to know how to prepare in case I ever get married.


Different depending on the woman and the circumstances. The hymen "breaking" is a myth - what it actually does (or should do) is stretch, and I think 'corona' is the modern medical term anyway. Basically, if there's tearing, something's going wrong.

The key is lots - lots - of foreplay, and also artificial lube is a really good idea. Go into it slowly, escalate gradually... good idea to use fingers first, for instance. Make sure she's really aroused, but also comfortable, and excited rather than nervous. Nervousness will make the vaginal muscles tense up and make penetration more painful. She will be tight, but that's why you need the foreplay and the lube.


----------



## monemi

badwolf said:


> What is a woman's first time like? I've heard there is lots of blood and I just need to know how to prepare in case I ever get married.


[video]https://edc2.healthtap.com/ht-staging/user_answer/avatars/296646/x_medium/open-uri20120712-25570-1lan2ob.jpeg?1386604561[/video]

Hymen's are not all exactly the same. Some almost completely cover the vagina, some have very little left. In some societies, girls didn't ride horseback or bikes or participate in sports at all. Activities that would aid in stretching the hymen. So at one time, it really wasn't unusual for there to be blood when a young woman had sex for the first time. Nowadays, it isn't so common for girls to bleed the first time, but not rare. If there is blood, there isn't a lot.


----------



## monemi

Wellsy said:


> What are your insecurities as a parent?
> What do your internal thoughts say?


Two very big questions. The biggest insecurity for me is finding balance in parenting. Much of the work you do, doesn't have immediate results. I suppose if you spank you produce immediate results. But I don't. I have a basic frame work of rules that I am consistent with, but mostly try to offer freedom to explore and learn and grow. But I find the results take time. Even the most laid back parent is going to be second guessing themselves.


----------



## yet another intj

Slightly interesting than "_I'm a human being - ask me anything_". Thank you for sharing your secrets with us as a member of such an exotic minority.

My question was about magnets but I will pass... By the way, I also want to thank you for reading my cynical crap.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Gah, another update. Mr Narcissist texted me today, asking for another chance, professing his love and sincere apologies for everything he did.

It took everything in me, but I took the high road and calmly explained the reasons I ended things and why I will not give him another chance. I also told him I'm not even ready to be friends yet - and may not ever be.

We went back and forth, with me explaining and him apologizing and saying he loves me.

I finally just stopped responding.


----------



## sraddatz

Snakecharmer said:


> Gah, another update. Mr Narcissist texted me today, asking for another chance, professing his love and sincere apologies for everything he did.
> 
> It took everything in me, but I took the high road and calmly explained the reasons I ended things and why I will not give him another chance. I also told him I'm not even ready to be friends yet - and may not ever be.
> 
> We went back and forth, with me explaining and him apologizing and saying he loves me.
> 
> I finally just stopped responding.


Good for you!

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## drmiller100

Snakecharmer said:


> Gah, another update. Mr Narcissist texted me today, asking for another chance, professing his love and sincere apologies for everything he did.
> 
> It took everything in me, but I took the high road and calmly explained the reasons I ended things and why I will not give him another chance. I also told him I'm not even ready to be friends yet - and may not ever be.
> 
> We went back and forth, with me explaining and him apologizing and saying he loves me.
> 
> I finally just stopped responding.


You'll be back in bed with him inside a week.


----------



## Wellsy

drmiller100 said:


> You'll be back in bed with him inside a week.


Not if she doesn't have problems with her memory hahaha
People don't forget so easily how you make them feel, unpleasant company gives an unpleasant feeling and that tends to stick.


----------



## drmiller100

Wellsy said:


> Not if she doesn't have problems with her memory hahaha
> People don't forget so easily how you make them feel, unpleasant company gives an unpleasant feeling and that tends to stick.


yeah, but he's beautiful.

and really really REALLY sorry.


----------



## HellCat

drmiller100 said:


> yeah, but he's beautiful.
> 
> and really really REALLY sorry.


Bad! Rather than saying something that will hurt her and shes been through enough.. you could say something uplifting to point out what a strong woman she is for standing up for herself against such a sick man.

It is difficult to untangle the web of guilt, insecurity and lies a narcissist can weave around someone. Two narcissist parents and a seriously bad ex husband. They leave your head spinning at times.


----------



## drmiller100

LeoCat said:


> Bad! Rather than saying something that will hurt her and shes been through enough.. you could say something uplifting to point out what a strong woman she is for standing up for herself against such a sick man.
> 
> It is difficult to untangle the web of guilt, insecurity and lies a narcissist can weave around someone. Two narcissist parents and a seriously bad ex husband. They leave your head spinning at times.



Yes, I'm a dick.

And she is a truly great, brilliant, wonderful, beautiful woman. 

And she deserves a hell of a lot more than him, and if my asshole comment causes her to hate me and fight to prove me wrong, I'm good with that.


----------



## HellCat

drmiller100 said:


> Yes, I'm a dick.
> 
> And she is a truly great, brilliant, wonderful, beautiful woman.
> 
> And she deserves a hell of a lot more than him, and if my asshole comment causes her to hate me and fight to prove me wrong, I'm good with that.


At least you admit it. LOFL


----------



## Snakecharmer

I'm definitely done with him. And texting him back and telling him - calmly - what it was that he did that was the last straw, and telling him he needs to learn how to be an honest man and stop being controlling and hypocritical before he gets in another relationship was very satisfying.



That was the closure I needed and I'm going to sleep great tonight.


----------



## g_w

Snakecharmer said:


> We need this, right?
> 
> 
> :laughing:
> 
> I'll put myself out there and say that not only am I a woman, but an "older" one...not sure about _wiser_, but experienced, sure.
> 
> Ask away!


I'm sure someone's already asked, but...

do you have a sister ? (ba-dum-BUM!)


----------



## sraddatz

Snakecharmer said:


> I'm definitely done with him. And texting him back and telling him - calmly - what it was that he did that was the last straw, and telling him he needs to learn how to be an honest man and stop being controlling and hypocritical before he gets in another relationship was very satisfying.
> 
> 
> 
> That was the closure I needed and I'm going to sleep great tonight.


If you feel the need to see that asshole again, just go buy a new electric friend. it should help you get by until you find someone. My mom always went back to my Dick of a father. Don't be like her.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## Snakecharmer

g_w said:


> I'm sure someone's already asked, but...
> 
> do you have a sister ? (ba-dum-BUM!)


LOL! Yeah, but she's 40. hahaaha


----------



## Snakecharmer

sraddatz said:


> If you feel the need to see that asshole again, just go buy a new electric friend. it should help you get by until you find someone. My mom always went back to my Dick of a father. Don't be like her.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


LOL! 

There is no way I'll go back - ever. There is nothing he can say or do to make me change my mind.  

I got the closure I wanted yesterday and I'm relieved. 

And thank you all for being supportive and listening to me vent, and for your advice. You all rock.


----------



## drmiller100

Snakecharmer said:


> LOL!



Hugs


----------



## g_w

Snakecharmer said:


> LOL! Yeah, but she's 40. hahaaha


 @Snakecharmer --

That's OK. I'm 50.

OTOH, I'm *quite* married, and not looking to trade in or anything.
(Decorous tip o' the hat, though, just for form's sake.)


----------



## Snakecharmer

drmiller100 said:


> Yes, I'm a dick.
> 
> And she is a truly great, brilliant, wonderful, beautiful woman.
> 
> And she deserves a hell of a lot more than him, and if my asshole comment causes her to hate me and fight to prove me wrong, I'm good with that.


I came back to read this again, because I really appreciate it. roud:

I needed to hear it.


----------



## Frenetic Tranquility

Snakecharmer said:


> I came back to read this again, because I really appreciate it. roud:
> 
> I needed to hear it.


Sorry, all I could think of when I read this exchange...two gay guys going back and forth "You are the bestestest!" "No, you are!" "Oh STOP it, *blush*, YOU are the bestestest!!"

Puke lol  It's a free country I guess!


----------



## Wellsy

What problems are present if you choose not to wear a bra?


----------



## monemi

Wellsy said:


> What problems are present if you choose not to wear a bra?


Depends on the size of your breasts. On the smaller side, running is uncomfortable. Some outfits work better without a bra if you're on the smaller side.


----------



## carlaviii

Wellsy said:


> What problems are present if you choose not to wear a bra?


On the large side, running is f*#^@%ing painful. They slide around and get in the way. Stairs are not fun either. And size + age = sag, so... yeah, let's not talk about that.


----------



## Noctis

LeoCat said:


> I am really sorry man. That is not "bluntness" and a "dark side" it is called being a bully.
> 
> Maybe you should look up materials on narcissists and the like. It sounds like you had a run in with someone with those tendencies. I hope you heal fully.


It took me a while to heal, but to be honest, I do not feel I have healed fully, as I still have emotional scars and flashbacks from time to time. I have been hurt in the past by another narcissist. I knew her in college and helped her when she appeared lost during a class trip and got to know her. After the trip, she asked me to have lunch with her. She at first compared me to her then boyfriend. Then she used me at times to complain about her boyfriend and ask me about my interests and complementing my appearance and personality (pretending to be interested). I used to have lunch with her everyday and talk about our interests and movie crushes (I opened up that i had a crush on Natalie Portman, which she revealed she admired) (she would brag about macho guys like Brad Pitt). When she asked me to go to a movie, I accepted. When I was strongly touched by the movie and cried, she seemed angry at me and then ignored me for other guys while playing the part of a "friend". Then afterwards she said she had to see her boyfriend. When I was giving a presentation and was nervous, she gave me angry stares and seemed to be annoyed at my nervousness. When I complained to a friend in private about her behavior and how she mistreated me, one of her friends, who I was not aware of, overheard and then she became angry and write an angry facebook message. I was devastated at the time. After a while she said that she had "girl issues" and that she wouldn't be seeing her often. When I tried talking to her, she rudely brushed me off and said mean things like "with a friend" all the while ignoring me and treating me like trash. One day I was sitting alone when she came and sat next to me and asked why I was sitting all alone. Then she started talking about her boyfriend, including meeting up with him, his body, their cuddling positions, his musculature, interest in MMA, his "confidence", his height (over six feet) and other "details". Then she asked me if i had muscles, since I do martial arts. When I tried showing her my muscles she said that I was "lean". Fast forward to after graduation and I keep on texting her and she keeps on using me. She would at those times say things about how her exes mistreated her and yet when I complained about women who hurt me to her, she would say things like "don't text me anymore" or "your're way too sensitive". Once on Facebook, I attempted to tell her my feelings for her, but she later unfriended me after I attempted defending her from a guy who I thought was insulting her. Luckily that moment brought me to my senses about what a royal bitch she was and I have not contacted her since, except in an angry email explaining how I felt used and hurt by her, which of course, which I expected, she did not reply to. I still have the emotional scars that bitch inflicted upon me to this day. I still from time to time have insecurities about my body image and height due to the pain she inflicted upon me.


----------



## Sina

Wellsy said:


> What problems are present if you choose not to wear a bra?


That depends on size in some ways, not all. With larger breasts, running is impossible without pain. Walking fast can cause them to bounce about lol, which can be uncomfortable. Then there's the usual...people ogle bra-free boobs. I like wearing pasties sometimes, and it reduces the number of scandalized stares at the starkest outline of a nipple. *shrugs* 

Professionally, I do wear a bra always. It's not worth the brouhaha not to.


----------



## Bloodbraid

Is it worth it to have larger boobs despite the problems that accompany them?


----------



## Sina

Bloodbraid said:


> Is it worth it to have larger boobs despite the problems that accompany them?


I love what I have, and I'd have loved an A cup as much. I find small breasts very attractive, as well. 
Women with very large breasts that cause severe backaches and other health problems, sometimes, get them surgically reduced. Larger breasted women who don't have health problems as a direct consequence of breast size tend to be fine with them.


----------



## wiarumas

While being in a relationship, how long could you go without sex before it would become an issue?

If you don't want kids, and later found out you can't have kids, would you be upset, and if so, why?

Would you be more inclined to have a threesome with another woman or another man and why?

What is more important to you in a vehicle - color or horsepower?

Would you rather date a man who doesn't listen or who doesn't stop talking?


----------



## Sina

wiarumas said:


> While being in a relationship, how long could you go without sex before it would become an issue?


Except under extenuating circumstances like illness or physical distance while a partner was away for a reasonable length of time, I'd be able to go without it for a few weeks. Though, routinely skipping sex for weeks, except under mentioned circumstances, would not be acceptable. 



> If you don't want kids, and later found out you can't have kids, would you be upset, and if so, why?


Well, if I didn't want kids and later found out that I couldn't have kids, I wouldn't be upset. Why would that be upsetting? It wouldn't change anything about my future plans.

Unless that was a typo and you meant "if you did want kids", in which case, I'd say I'd be quite disappointed and somewhat upset. Though, I'd proceed with adoption. It wouldn't cause my world to collapse or anything. I've wanted to adopt a child, for years, anyway. 



> Would you be more inclined to have a threesome with another woman or another man and why?


Mmm...with both, actually. Though, I am looking forward to having one with my best friend who is a woman and a partner (male). I likely have a preference for a woman partner, although a man would not be unacceptable. So, a threesome with a partner and another man I cared for deeply (like a good friend) would be interesting too. However, I would only involve people I was very close to in such an endeavour. No strangers or acquaintances lol. That wouldn't arouse me, in the least. I need the emotional intimacy to be pre-established, as I am somewhat demisexual leaning.



> What is more important to you in a vehicle - color or horsepower?


Horsepower 



> Would you rather date a man who doesn't listen or who doesn't stop talking?


One who doesn't stop talking is obviously a poor listener. So no. I have a strong distaste for poor listeners.


----------



## .17485

When given oral I read somewhere that a woman's vagina has a certain taste depending on the type of diet they have. For example if a woman as a salty food diet, when given oral it would have a kind of salty taste. Or If you eat fruits, vegetables as part of your diet, it has a sweeter taste. Is this true?


----------



## Wellsy

* *




I just thought of how to say what I want after all this writing hahaha I suppose i'll leave this here if anyone wants to read it.
I'm sure this will be a mess and I apologize as I don't know how to articulate the thought succinctly so I might go through my thoughts and then ask for your opinions from your experiences and perspectives.

I'm generally suspect of people selling things as the goal to be happy, but I have given some thought as to what would help in nourishing elements of myself to feel fulfilled.
After watching Into The Wild the thing that's stuck in my head the most is a part towards the end when Christopher McCandless is isolated in Alaska and he writes something along the lines of 'Happiness is only real when shared'. Now I'm well aware one can be quite fulfilled by being alone and enjoy things alone, I know I certainly do.
But I get the feeling that so much inherent to being human revolves around our part in the greater humanity, when I think of something being spiritual I think of it as being big picture thinking of belonging to more than those presently around us, feeling connected as opposed to some existential crisis.
So I come to the opinion that happiness is inherently tied to other people and I think of the situations of how that comes to be and it seems to me that one is happiest with being able to give to others. It seems fulfilling to be of use to others and making them happy which then washes back over oneself, it seemingly being easier to be happy by making others happy than it is to be self serving only.



How true to your life has it been that your happiest moments have been from giving to others or making them happy in someway?


----------



## Sina

Wellsy said:


> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I just thought of how to say what I want after all this writing hahaha I suppose i'll leave this here if anyone wants to read it.
> I'm sure this will be a mess and I apologize as I don't know how to articulate the thought succinctly so I might go through my thoughts and then ask for your opinions from your experiences and perspectives.
> 
> I'm generally suspect of people selling things as the goal to be happy, but I have given some thought as to what would help in nourishing elements of myself to feel fulfilled.
> After watching Into The Wild the thing that's stuck in my head the most is a part towards the end when Christopher McCandless is isolated in Alaska and he writes something along the lines of 'Happiness is only real when shared'. Now I'm well aware one can be quite fulfilled by being alone and enjoy things alone, I know I certainly do.
> But I get the feeling that so much inherent to being human revolves around our part in the greater humanity, when I think of something being spiritual I think of it as being big picture thinking of belonging to more than those presently around us, feeling connected as opposed to some existential crisis.
> So I come to the opinion that happiness is inherently tied to other people and I think of the situations of how that comes to be and it seems to me that one is happiest with being able to give to others. It seems fulfilling to be of use to others and making them happy which then washes back over oneself, it seemingly being easier to be happy by making others happy than it is to be self serving only.
> 
> 
> 
> How true to your life has it been that your happiest moments have been from giving to others or making them happy in someway?


Sometimes. I wouldn't say that it has been the case predominantly.


----------



## HellCat

Wellsy said:


> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I just thought of how to say what I want after all this writing hahaha I suppose i'll leave this here if anyone wants to read it.
> I'm sure this will be a mess and I apologize as I don't know how to articulate the thought succinctly so I might go through my thoughts and then ask for your opinions from your experiences and perspectives.
> 
> I'm generally suspect of people selling things as the goal to be happy, but I have given some thought as to what would help in nourishing elements of myself to feel fulfilled.
> After watching Into The Wild the thing that's stuck in my head the most is a part towards the end when Christopher McCandless is isolated in Alaska and he writes something along the lines of 'Happiness is only real when shared'. Now I'm well aware one can be quite fulfilled by being alone and enjoy things alone, I know I certainly do.
> But I get the feeling that so much inherent to being human revolves around our part in the greater humanity, when I think of something being spiritual I think of it as being big picture thinking of belonging to more than those presently around us, feeling connected as opposed to some existential crisis.
> So I come to the opinion that happiness is inherently tied to other people and I think of the situations of how that comes to be and it seems to me that one is happiest with being able to give to others. It seems fulfilling to be of use to others and making them happy which then washes back over oneself, it seemingly being easier to be happy by making others happy than it is to be self serving only.
> 
> 
> 
> How true to your life has it been that your happiest moments have been from giving to others or making them happy in someway?


I enjoy giving, I have given away tens of thousands over the years without a second thought. However, my happiest moments were doing something specifically for myself. I get no high from giving or anything. I just do it to show affection or empathy for someone.


----------



## carlaviii

sraddatz said:


> Blt soup? Recipe?


Fry up 5 slices of bacon in a big soup pot. Put bacon aside. Add 2 Tbsp butter/margarine to the fat and melt. Then add 3.5 - 4 cups shredded lettuce and sauté about two minutes. Sprinkle in 1/2 cup flour and stir to absorb all the fat. Cook two minutes. 

Add 3.5 cups of chicken broth (or water + bouillon) and a 14oz can of diced tomatoes with juice (or 28oz, if you like tomatoes). Spice with ground nutmeg (yes, really), black pepper, and cayenne pepper (to taste). Bring to a boil, let it simmer and thicken. 

Turn off heat. Add 1 cup half & half (or light cream) and stir in. 

Serve with crumbled bacon as a garnish. Great with fresh bread. Reheats well if you keep the bacon in a separate baggie.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Wellsy said:


> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I just thought of how to say what I want after all this writing hahaha I suppose i'll leave this here if anyone wants to read it.
> I'm sure this will be a mess and I apologize as I don't know how to articulate the thought succinctly so I might go through my thoughts and then ask for your opinions from your experiences and perspectives.
> 
> I'm generally suspect of people selling things as the goal to be happy, but I have given some thought as to what would help in nourishing elements of myself to feel fulfilled.
> After watching Into The Wild the thing that's stuck in my head the most is a part towards the end when Christopher McCandless is isolated in Alaska and he writes something along the lines of 'Happiness is only real when shared'. Now I'm well aware one can be quite fulfilled by being alone and enjoy things alone, I know I certainly do.
> But I get the feeling that so much inherent to being human revolves around our part in the greater humanity, when I think of something being spiritual I think of it as being big picture thinking of belonging to more than those presently around us, feeling connected as opposed to some existential crisis.
> So I come to the opinion that happiness is inherently tied to other people and I think of the situations of how that comes to be and it seems to me that one is happiest with being able to give to others. It seems fulfilling to be of use to others and making them happy which then washes back over oneself, it seemingly being easier to be happy by making others happy than it is to be self serving only.
> 
> 
> 
> How true to your life has it been that your happiest moments have been from giving to others or making them happy in someway?


I read the whole thing. I really like this quote about happiness and find a lot of truth in it:* "**Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."**-Mahatma Gandhi*

As for your question, yes, much of my happiness comes from giving, but I would say the sharing aspect of my personal happiness has been in sharing myself with others without apology. Sharing who I am and what I look like on the inside. Sharing the happiness I have strived for in making sure what I think, say, and do are in harmony. 

Sometimes I still mess that balance up, but it has been through sharing with others that I have learned how to do it in the first place. If I were all alone, would it really matter at all if what I thought, said, and did were not in harmony?


----------



## Wellsy

@Enfpleasantly
That quote has given me much to think about.


----------



## Forest_for_the_Trees

Wellsy said:


> Have you met, or know many men who you consider honorable men?
> 
> If you've had any children, what was pregnancy like?
> 
> Are you more in control of your orgasm, that it's easier to achieve it as you understand and control your body better?
> 
> What do you think the best parts of being a woman are?


No not many but I consider my uncles in laws (my mother's brothers in laws) fairly honourable men although they may irritate me sometimes, my uncles aren't bad either

No not in control of that stuff particularly but I do a lot of yoga these days to try and develop more awareness, 

Best part of being a woman is being fairly strong and having bunches of emotional support from other women, really the sisterhood rocks!


----------



## Forest_for_the_Trees

Wellsy said:


> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> How true to your life has it been that your happiest moments have been from giving to others or making them happy in someway?



* *






Interesting you talk about 'into the wild' actually I'm pretty happy in the environment, outside, at the beach atc in beautiful surroundings... hmmm... I beginning to sound suspiciously ISFP


----------



## Mammon

If (in a relationship) one were to express a hand fetish to you, would you be excited about it and let him do his thing? Or be too uncomfortable with its unconventionality and want him to keep to the ordinary fetishes(boobies, ass, legs, etc)?


----------



## Forest_for_the_Trees

Merihim said:


> If (in a relationship) one were to express a hand fetish to you, would you be excited about it and let him do his thing? Or be too uncomfortable with its unconventionality and want him to keep to the ordinary fetishes(boobies, ass, legs, etc)?


Hand fetish would probably be fine- I usually think more about the person than specific hang ups unless they offend my values in some way, hand fetishes do not offend my values.


----------



## phony

Do you know how to stop your teeth from hurting the inside of your mouth during blowjays? I get a mark in my mouth and it's really uncomfortable


----------



## phony

Merihim said:


> If (in a relationship) one were to express a hand fetish to you, would you be excited about it and let him do his thing? Or be too uncomfortable with its unconventionality and want him to keep to the ordinary fetishes(boobies, ass, legs, etc)?


I don't have a hand *fetish* but I loveee hands


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Merihim said:


> If (in a relationship) one were to express a hand fetish to you, would you be excited about it and let him do his thing? Or be too uncomfortable with its unconventionality and want him to keep to the ordinary fetishes(boobies, ass, legs, etc)?


I think I would be fine with that. I'd probably become very conscious of my hands, haha!


----------



## yentipeee

I asked a question a few pages back, but no answers, THE woman must have gone out for a wax job :tongue:


----------



## sraddatz

Enfpleasantly said:


> I think I would be fine with that. I'd probably become very conscious of my hands, haha!


A handy by a girl with a nice manicure is kind of hot. Not necessary, but it's nice.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## Noctis

monemi said:


> If we're getting bikini waxes, it's because we have pubic hair. Everyone single girl/woman that has entered puberty grows pubic hair.
> Androgenic hair - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Some women get boob jobs and I wouldn't go so far as to speculate why. Only that I doubt they give a shit about what you personally are looking at when they make that choice.
> 
> Things can and do go wrong with the pill. You need to take it the same time every day. You can't miss days. It's unreliable if you need to take anti-biotics. The pill is not 100% even when used perfectly correctly. The pill isn't a guarantee. Just because she has used it for years without incident, something could happen. I recommend using condoms as back-up or abstinence.
> 
> I can think of a few things I'd like to throw at your head. We can take a look see if I throw like my arm has been dislocated.


No chance in hell would I ever want a waxing. Besides, my hair is extremely thick and I prefer a natural look as opposed to an airbrushed look as a guy.


----------



## Noctis

Why is there such a pressure for women to have larger breasts and wider hips? Women of all body types are able to birth and nurse children if they are healthy.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Noctis said:


> Why is there such a pressure for women to have larger breasts and wider hips? Women of all body types are able to birth and nurse children if they are healthy.


Absolutely. People want a coke bottle figure but all women are womanly. People are just shallow. 

But then say they're not shallow for having preferences. Yes you are.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Absolutely. People want a coke bottle figure but all women are womanly. People are just shallow.
> 
> But then say they're not shallow for having preferences. Yes you are.


Depends what the preferences are.

Preferences for different personality characteristics is different from preferences for different physical characteristics.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

ENTrePeneur said:


> Depends what the preferences are.
> 
> Preferences for different personality characteristics is different from preferences for different physical characteristics.


Yeah. Personally I think having a 'preference' for big boobs/butts is shallow. People seem to be accepting it as okay like women can control these features. 

I mean you meet a nice woman, but she doesn't have big breasts or booty and then suddenly you're not interested in her anymore? It's inherently shallow because you've just judged her ability to be a good romantic partner on her appearance. 

Btw not meaning you as in *you*, just people.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Yeah. Personally I think having a 'preference' for big boobs/butts is shallow. People seem to be accepting it as okay like women can control these features.
> 
> I mean you meet a nice woman, but she doesn't have big breasts or booty and then suddenly you're not interested in her anymore? It's inherently shallow because you've just judged her ability to be a good romantic partner on her appearance.
> 
> Btw not meaning you as in *you*, just people.


I agree.


----------



## allisonivy89

In the end personality is *everything* :happy:


----------



## Surreal Snake

Who cuts your hair?


----------



## sraddatz

A great rack doesn't make a great wife. 

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

sraddatz said:


> A great rack doesn't make a great wife.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


Nope I'd imagine a pair of breasts wouldn't be lol


----------



## Noctis

phony said:


> Do you know how to stop your teeth from hurting the inside of your mouth during blowjays? I get a mark in my mouth and it's really uncomfortable


I think there are mouth filters similar to condoms for oral sex. Maybe check up with your dentist and ask if there is an infection or disease.


----------



## Noctis

sraddatz said:


> A great rack doesn't make a great wife.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


They only make great pillows if the wife has a Cersi Lannister personality.


----------



## carlaviii

Surreal Snake said:


> Who cuts your hair?


I do. Simple bob with basic layering.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

carlaviii said:


> I do. Simple bob with basic layering.


OMG CUTE!!!! :blushed: <3 xD


----------



## sraddatz

carlaviii said:


> I do. Simple bob with basic layering.


So you cut your own hair and cook? Will you call my wife and give her pointers? 

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## Effy

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Yeah. Personally I think having a 'preference' for big boobs/butts is shallow. People seem to be accepting it as okay like women can control these features.
> 
> I mean you meet a nice woman, but she doesn't have big breasts or booty and then suddenly you're not interested in her anymore? It's inherently shallow because you've just judged her ability to be a good romantic partner on her appearance.
> 
> Btw not meaning you as in *you*, just people.


I don't agree with this at all. It's normal and natural for a person to be attracted to some physical features more than others - that isn't in itself shallow. Almost everyone has a 'type' or two to some degree. And different people have preferences for different things. Would you argue that a guy with a preference for small breasts is shallow, too?


----------



## Sina

@_Effy_

I think I see your point. Rejecting someone or invalidating or disrespecting them SOLELY because of the size of their boobs is bullshit. I am a bi-leaning woman, and I have a "preference" for big breasts. 

Obviously, it doesn't mean I am not attracted to or would hurt women's sentiments over having small breasts. In fact, I find small breasts sexy too. I just like bigger ones more- a preference. 

Though, if I were attracted to a woman on the whole, none of this would matter. That's the case with reasonable and mature people who have a preference for big or small breasts. Sure, it might be considered "shallow". But, as long as there's no disrespect involved or outright rejection on this basis alone, it's not problematic.


----------



## petite libellule

sraddatz said:


> A great rack doesn't make a great wife.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


What does ?


----------



## petite libellule

Merihim said:


> If (in a relationship) one were to express a hand fetish to you, would you be excited about it and let him do his thing? Or be too uncomfortable with its unconventionality and want him to keep to the ordinary fetishes(boobies, ass, legs, etc)?


Would depend what that meant exactly. But tbh, I would probably be curious as opposed to uncomfortable.


----------



## Jennywocky

sraddatz said:


> A great rack doesn't make a great wife.


Are you holding out for a great apron as well? :laughing:











Noctis said:


> I think there are mouth filters similar to condoms for oral sex. Maybe check up with your dentist and ask if there is an infection or disease.


Dental dams, I think they are.


----------



## sraddatz

NK said:


> What does ?


Hmmm. I think a great wife would work hard in whatever she does, whether it be at home or in the workplace. She would be encouraging of my dreams. She'd also be assertive enough to convey her dreams to me. When we decide it best that i make a decision, not to second guess me. She would be happy to do things every now and again that are just for me. My love language is clearly "acts of service." Those are great traits. I know that's asking a lot.

P.S. Bonus points are awarded for excellent cooking skills and lots of sex.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## sraddatz

Jennywocky said:


> Are you holding out for a great apron as well? :laughing:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Dental dams, I think they are.


That is a great rack! 

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## ninjamaster

What do you look for in a man?


----------



## Effy

arkmabat said:


> What do you look for in a man?


This question is impossible to answer except on a personal/individual basis. It varies so much from woman to woman. It will also vary for any one individual woman, depending on where she is in life and what she's looking for. If she's young and playing the field for fun, she won't be looking for the same things in a man as she would if she were older and looking for to settle down in something committed.


I'm into tall, dark-haired, beardy guys with sharp senses of humour and just a touch of rough around the edges. I look for intelligence, quick wit, deep thinking... progressive/liberal, lots of interests... but somebody who has a lighter side, too, and will engage in a bit of silly verbal back-and-forth. I don't have a conscious preference but my track record disproportionately features tattooed smokers. I'm also more drawn to guys who have some melancholy, or are a little bit of a misfit in some way. Similar values, honesty, decency, empathy. A sharp tongue does a lot for me but there needs to be kindness underneath it. Respect is really important, particularly respect of boundaries - it's a make-or-break thing. Straightforward, frank, T-type communication. Physical chemistry is a big priority for me at the moment, but I also look for somebody who can keep up with me intellectually and has a compatible communication style. It's very difficult to find.

20 year old INTP gal, for what it's worth.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Effy said:


> I don't agree with this at all. It's normal and natural for a person to be attracted to some physical features more than others - that isn't in itself shallow. Almost everyone has a 'type' or two to some degree. And different people have preferences for different things. Would you argue that a guy with a preference for small breasts is shallow, too?


I just find it unfair for those who don't have those features, that may want to get some sort of attention from someone that is unfairly judging them as inadequate. Women who say they prefer big dicks are labelled as shallow, so why aren't men who say they want big tits?

I don't understand the fascination for big tits myself so I don't get any of it or why people discriminate on breast size. It's stupid.

edit: What becomes of a person who doesn't have those features? Big arses/tits what have you. Should they enhance their features to get attention because it's a person's preference?


----------



## FakeLefty

Effy said:


> This question is impossible to answer except on a personal/individual basis. It varies so much from woman to woman. It will also vary for any one individual woman, depending on where she is in life and what she's looking for. If she's young and playing the field for fun, she won't be looking for the same things in a man as she would if she were older and looking for to settle down in something committed.
> 
> 
> I'm into tall, dark-haired, beardy guys with sharp senses of humour and just a touch of rough around the edges. I look for intelligence, quick wit, deep thinking... progressive/liberal, lots of interests... but somebody who has a lighter side, too, and will engage in a bit of silly verbal back-and-forth. I don't have a conscious preference but my track record disproportionately features tattooed smokers. I'm also more drawn to guys who have some melancholy, or are a little bit of a misfit in some way. Similar values, honesty, decency, empathy. A sharp tongue does a lot for me but there needs to be kindness underneath it. Respect is really important, particularly respect of boundaries - it's a make-or-break thing. Straightforward, frank, T-type communication. Physical chemistry is a big priority for me at the moment, but I also look for somebody who can keep up with me intellectually and has a compatible communication style. It's very difficult to find.
> 
> 20 year old INTP gal, for what it's worth.


Wow, I fit a lot of these descriptions, sans the beard, tattoo, and smoking habits. :laughing:


----------



## Effy

isingthebodyelectric said:


> I just find it unfair for those who don't have those features, that may want to get some sort of attention from someone that is unfairly judging them as inadequate. Women who say they prefer big dicks are labelled as shallow, so why aren't men who say they want big tits?
> 
> I don't understand the fascination for big tits myself so I don't get any of it or why people discriminate on breast size. It's stupid.
> 
> edit: What becomes of a person who doesn't have those features? Big arses/tits what have you. Should they enhance their features to get attention because it's a person's preference?


Life isn't fair. We aren't entitled to somebody's attention just because we like them. If somebody's not attracted to you, move on to somebody else who is.

It's pretty unnecessary to presume that because someone isn't sexually attracted to you they're judging you inadequate. That's definitely a leap.

What becomes of a person who doesn't have those features? Well, the same thing as anyone else, really. You're talking about it as if these are universal preferences. They aren't. Individual people 'discriminate' on breast size, height, hair colour, eye shape, pitch of voice, _all kinds of things_. Some people are attracted to big breasts exclusively, some people are attracted to small breasts exclusively, and some people have no preference at all because that part of the body isn't one they focus on. Whatever you have going on, somebody out there is going to be into it. Different people are attracted to different appearances in the same way as we're all attracted to different personalities. You can't control what another person looks for. It's not worth sweatin'.

I'd even argue it isn't shallow to prefer big dicks. It's shallow if that's literally the only thing you look for in a relationship, but when does that happen? Having a physical preference isn't shallow in itself: it's how you act about it.


----------



## Effy

FakeLefty said:


> Wow, I fit a lot of these descriptions, sans the beard, tattoo, and smoking habits. :laughing:


Sorry man, the beard is non-negotiable. I wish I was kidding.


----------



## FallingSlowly

isingthebodyelectric said:


> edit: What becomes of a person who doesn't have those features? Big arses/tits what have you. Should they enhance their features to get attention because it's a person's preference?


No, they should just get on with their lives and accept that not everyone will feel attracted to them, as much as they probably don't feel attracted to every person on the planet either. Neither scenario is necessarily shallow or unfair.

They will most likely get attention from someone who actually likes their features instead, so why not just forget about the ones who don't? Wasted energy...


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

FallingSlowly said:


> They will most likely get attention from someone who actually likes their features instead, so why not just forget about the ones who don't? Wasted energy...


What if no one ever does? Then what?


----------



## FakeLefty

Effy said:


> Sorry man, the beard is non-negotiable. I wish I was kidding.












I wonder if it works on the chin :laughing:


----------



## Effy

isingthebodyelectric said:


> What if no one ever does? Then what?


Plenty of men like small breasts. If no one is ever attracted to this hypothetical person, her breasts aren't the problem.

If it is a matter of appearance, there are plenty of options open to improve that (hair/makeup/skincare/clothes/etc). But it might not be a matter of appearance at all. It could be coming across as unapproachable/unavailable. Or it might be that she doesn't often meet the right kind of men in the right kind of context. Or it might be that there _are_ people attracted to her, but she doesn't pick up on the cues, or those people don't make it obvious enough.


----------



## sraddatz

I'm shaving mine tomorrow. I've had it since October. It comes and goes with baseball season.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## FallingSlowly

isingthebodyelectric said:


> What if no one ever does? Then what?


I personally doubt this would be exclusively down to physical features in that case. 

If someone thinks they are not getting a partner just because of a small cleavage, it says more about their sense of self in my opinion. And possibly also that they are focusing more on their own physical traits than they'd like to let on, possibly even dislike them; otherwise they wouldn't care if some people have preferences that don't include their type.

We all have insecurities, some of them run deep, but telling other people what they should feel attracted to, or that they "should give everyone a chance as a potential partner" would be ridiculous imho.
At risk of sounding blunt: Who wants a date with someone who goes against what they feel attracted to (no matter if it's physical or personality traits)? I don't want people who are not really attracted to me to give me a "chance" out of some weird sense of self-righteousness, so they can prove to themselves and the world how morally superior and nice they are by giving it a try. In the process, they probably just get your hopes up, and it still won't turn into anything lasting. You can't rationalise attraction - you either feel it, or you don't.

All sorts of people have happy relationships, even the ones who are not stereotypically attractive (whatever that means anyway, I personally don't know).
All sorts of people find partners: Tall men, short men, bald men, hairy men, those with big penises and those with small penises. Women with big boobs, small boobs, skinny ones, overweight ones. People with disfigurements and disabilities.

I personally honestly don't care about the guys who like massive boobs (as long as their behaviour is not bullying or rude). Good for them, there are women out there who will be a good match. I probably won't be, but there are men out there who find me attractive the way I am, even without massive boobs. They're the ones who matter (provided I actually also like myself and don't just define myself by the amount of male attention I get, but that's another subject).


----------



## Wellsy

What made the most interesting person you've met so interesting?


----------



## carlaviii

Wellsy said:


> What made the most interesting person you've met so interesting?


Seeing such a range of him. From sober and composed to emotionally naked... unexpected, given that it's a casual relationship.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

carlaviii said:


> Seeing such a range of him. From sober and composed to emotionally naked... unexpected, given that it's a casual relationship.


Hm. Was it an ENTP? Because I can be like that. Or rather.. it was more likely an ENTJ/INTJ, am I wrong?


Because I tend to go from calm and witty to emotionally naked.


----------



## carlaviii

ENTrePeneur said:


> Hm. Was it an ENTP? Because I can be like that. Or rather.. it was more likely an ENTJ/INTJ, am I wrong?
> 
> 
> Because I tend to go from calm and witty to emotionally naked.


I could only guess what his type is. There was alcohol & sex involved in stripping him down... and his day job is something that would destroy most people emotionally inside of a week. Maybe an ENTJ...? What's the emotional resilience like on an ENTP?

Edit: on the other hand, it could be a massive capacity for caregiving. I really don't know.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

carlaviii said:


> I could only guess what his type is. There was alcohol & sex involved in stripping him down... and his day job is something that would destroy most people emotionally inside of a week. Maybe an ENTJ...? What's the emotional resilience like on an ENTP?
> 
> Edit: on the other hand, it could be a massive capacity for caregiving. I really don't know.


Hm. I think I want to lean ENTJ on this one, actually. I can be... relatively open about my emotions compared to other NTs, but I've found older ENTPs to be much much more resilient than I am, and I rarely understand my feelings, to the point of wondering if they're really all lies later. So I fake a lot of emotions. (on accident a lot of the time.. >.<).. I think he was probably an ENTJ, though,


----------



## qingdom

when a woman achieves orgasm be it through fingering or penetration, pushes away to shake it off or settle from it, is it okay or rude or whatnot to keep going at it to continue to give her that high before the climax wears off?

or hold her, leave her be until she's recovered?

I'm wondering if it's possible to have her reach that climax, pushes away slightly, continue and ride to reach a second climax back to back... 

but then, i this is all theory I'm running in my head. i know nothing of how the woman feels when orgasming... especially faking it.

yes/no/maybe/thoughts?


----------



## phony

qingdom said:


> when a woman achieves orgasm be it through fingering or penetration, pushes away to shake it off or settle from it, is it okay or rude or whatnot to keep going at it to continue to give her that high before the climax wears off?
> 
> or hold her, leave her be until she's recovered?
> 
> I'm wondering if it's possible to have her reach that climax, pushes away slightly, continue and ride to reach a second climax back to back...
> 
> but then, i this is all theory I'm running in my head. i know nothing of how the woman feels when orgasming... especially faking it.
> 
> yes/no/maybe/thoughts?



It depends on the woman. Ask her...


----------



## sraddatz

Communication in the bedroom is key! If she is comfortable with you, she'll let you know, and normally not in a shy way.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## sraddatz

It's also my experience that women rarely have an orgasm through traditional sex. It can happen, but it all depends on the woman. This is why foreplay is so important. Most of the time she will have her most powerful orgasms during that time. You just need to know how to get her there!

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## carlaviii

qingdom said:


> when a woman achieves orgasm be it through fingering or penetration, pushes away to shake it off or settle from it, is it okay or rude or whatnot to keep going at it to continue to give her that high before the climax wears off?
> 
> or hold her, leave her be until she's recovered?
> 
> I'm wondering if it's possible to have her reach that climax, pushes away slightly, continue and ride to reach a second climax back to back...
> 
> yes/no/maybe/thoughts?


I know the rhythms of my orgasms better than my partners -- so for me, when I ask him to change what he's doing, it's to maximize the effect.


----------



## Sina

qingdom said:


> when a woman achieves orgasm be it through fingering or penetration, pushes away to shake it off or settle from it, is it okay or rude or whatnot to keep going at it to continue to give her that high before the climax wears off?
> 
> or hold her, leave her be until she's recovered?
> 
> I'm wondering if it's possible to have her reach that climax, pushes away slightly, continue and ride to reach a second climax back to back...
> 
> but then, i this is all theory I'm running in my head. i know nothing of how the woman feels when orgasming... especially faking it.
> 
> yes/no/maybe/thoughts?



personally, i don't see a point to doing something after she's communicated, verbally and/or through body language, that she wants to recover. she may even do it to intensify the experience after a break. why would anyone 'keep going' in that situation? the woman would know her rhythm and know what works for her. capitalize on that. but, as a rule of thumb, always ask the lady directly. not every woman is the same. 

in another sense, it might even be a turn-off if she's too sensitive after orgasm, and you keep trying to stimulate her (esp clitorally, ugh i am not a fan of clitoral over-stimulation). if you match her pace and are responsive to her, achieving an orgasm becomes far more likely. 

it's probably better not to assume she's faking.


----------



## infpheart

What type are you? And do you like intense romance ie flowers, candle lit dinners, poetry, physical touch etc... Romeo and Juliet style or modern day- cinema and then grab a pizza?


----------



## phony

infpheart said:


> What type are you? And do you like intense romance ie flowers, candle lit dinners, poetry, physical touch etc... *Romeo and Juliet style* or modern day- cinema and then grab a pizza?


Lol Romeo and Juliet were dumb, horny, impulsive teenagers with serious communication issues. Not romantic at all


----------



## cannamella

infpheart said:


> What type are you? And do you like intense romance ie flowers, candle lit dinners, poetry, physical touch etc... Romeo and Juliet style or modern day- cinema and then grab a pizza?


I like flowers and poetry. I don't really like Romeo and Juliet due to Romeo's lack of courage but then it's a personal opinion after all.


----------



## Effy

infpheart said:


> What type are you? And do you like intense romance ie flowers, candle lit dinners, poetry, physical touch etc... Romeo and Juliet style or modern day- cinema and then grab a pizza?


INTP. I like romance _in some ways_ but not the ways you described. Flowers, candle-lit dinners and poetry make me cringe. I mean, I love poetry, I'm a literature student, but don't read it to me. Slow-dancing and the phrase 'making love' and things like that really kind of revolt me. I have a heavy dislike for sentimentality.

But I really, really like a more natural variety of the romantic. Things that don't feel contrived. Either actions or words that let you know that you're on someone's mind. I'd be more touched by catching someone gazing at me, or little touches like wanting to hold my hand or brushing hair out of my face, or even just having them send me a silly news article saying "I saw this and thought of you" - or picking me up when they kiss me, or telling me I'm beautiful or that they love talking to me more than anyone - even just leaning their head on my shoulder when we're on the bus. Any of those things mean a lot more to me than, for instance, presents.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

infpheart said:


> What type are you? And do you like intense romance ie flowers, candle lit dinners, poetry, physical touch etc... Romeo and Juliet style or modern day- cinema and then grab a pizza?


*What type are you?* ENFP 4 sx/sp/so

*Do you like intense romance...? *Yes, but not all conventional. For example, a candle lit dinner in a basket that we eat at the end of a long bike ride in the woods. I like flowers, but I prefer them as a plant so that I can keep them.

Romeo and Juliet do not impress me at all; that's not what love is, not in the least. To me, love is fierce, determined, and loyal...it refuses to quit (assuming it's real love and not dysfunction, like codependency or abuse).


----------



## ENTrePreneur

Enfpleasantly said:


> To me, love is fierce, determined, and loyal...it refuses to quit (assuming it's real love and not dysfunction, like codependency or abuse).


Dat's hawt. O_O

:kitteh:


----------



## Snakecharmer

I'm tired of men lying to me and screwing around.

Are any of the females here "players"? Because I think I'm heading towards becoming one. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right?


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Snakecharmer said:


> I'm tired of men lying to me and screwing around.
> 
> Are any of the females here "players"? Because I think I'm heading towards becoming one. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right?


Play them at their own game.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

Snakecharmer said:


> I'm tired of men lying to me and screwing around.
> 
> Are any of the females here "players"? Because I think I'm heading towards becoming one. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right?





isingthebodyelectric said:


> Play them at their own game.


Unfortunately, I think that would make a large number of guys happier than it would you. I mean.. I think what a lot of guys are looking for is a female player.. someone who sleeps with them one night and then never comes back.


----------



## Snakecharmer

ENTrePreneur said:


> Unfortunately, I think that would make a large number of guys happier than it would you. I mean.. I think what a lot of guys are looking for is a female player.. someone who sleeps with them one night and then never comes back.


Oh, I'm not going to sleep with any of them. 

I was being sarcastic, really. I'm sorta bitter right now (that is probably obvious).


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

ENTrePreneur said:


> Unfortunately, I think that would make a large number of guys happier than it would you. I mean.. I think what a lot of guys are looking for is a female player.. someone who sleeps with them one night and then never comes back.


At least she'd be happier knowing their intentions and maybe she wants to do that? I don't see how it's anyone else's business, though.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

Snakecharmer said:


> Oh, I'm not going to sleep with any of them.
> 
> I was being sarcastic, really. I'm sorta bitter right now (that is probably obvious).


Oh ok. XD That makes sense. Sorry about that. >.< 




isingthebodyelectric said:


> At least she'd be happier knowing their intentions and maybe she wants to do that? I don't see how it's anyone else's business, though.


True. Sorry about that. I'll shut up.


----------



## Snakecharmer

ENTrePreneur said:


> Oh ok. XD That makes sense. Sorry about that. >.<
> 
> 
> True. Sorry about that. I'll shut up.


Oh, no - it's okay! 

I am used to being in long term, monogamous relationships and the person I am currently seeing isn't ready for that, I guess...it is just sort of frustrating. I'm going to sound conceited, but ah, well...I'm used to men wanting the same, so this is new for me.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

Snakecharmer said:


> Oh, no - it's okay!
> 
> I am used to being in long term, monogamous relationships and the person I am currently seeing isn't ready for that, I guess...it is just sort of frustrating. I'm going to sound conceited, but ah, well...I'm used to men wanting the same, so this is new for me.


Ah, yes. That makes sense.


----------



## Winters

IMO people need to be honest with them self. 
If you want to be long term relationship that is monogamous, then be that and try to only get that.
If you want to sleep around, be honest with the people you meet and say listen I like you but i really just want sex.

It is not that hard to be honest with your self and people around you, sadly most people are not.

There is also limits, some people just can't do relationships they want to they just can't.



As a side not there have been studies that shown people that sleep around have higher chances of self harm.


----------



## infpheart

I don't think you was getting my point, Romeo and Juliet are fictional lol but i was more thinking intense love vs playful love, I just used them as an example.


----------



## infpheart

I do the things you said as well as the other stuff.


----------



## infpheart

The Romeo and Juliet reference was metaphoric for intense love, what you said classified as that, basically I've seen esfp in love and they seem to prefer lighthearted romance ie action movie at cinema and then pizza, they make out there and thats it, whereas I'm more poem and hugs, I need more than pizza and action movie.


----------



## Effy

Winters said:


> IMO people need to be honest with them self.
> If you want to be long term relationship that is monogamous, then be that and try to only get that.
> If you want to sleep around, be honest with the people you meet and say listen I like you but i really just want sex.
> 
> It is not that hard to be honest with your self and people around you, sadly most people are not.
> 
> There is also limits, some people just can't do relationships they want to they just can't.


I agree with you. I think it's incredibly important both to be honest with yourself and with the other person. Clear communication to make sure both people are on the same page, or someone will be getting hurt.


----------



## .17485

What do you think about speed dating to meet a guy?


----------



## carlaviii

Snakecharmer said:


> I am used to being in long term, monogamous relationships and the person I am currently seeing isn't ready for that, I guess...it is just sort of frustrating. I'm going to sound conceited, but ah, well...I'm used to men wanting the same, so this is new for me.


Hmm, I'm in the opposite boat: settled in the habit of casual/FWB relationships and met a guy who's thinking longer term. Told him I wasn't in the market yet, told him about the FWBs, told him I'm not giving them up... and he says he's okay with that. 

It's frustrating. Feels like a trap. I've hit that "I'm done with this" point several times and he's still around. Genuinely uncertain what happens next.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

carlaviii said:


> Hmm, I'm in the opposite boat: settled in the habit of casual/FWB relationships and met a guy who's thinking longer term. Told him I wasn't in the market yet, told him about the FWBs, told him I'm not giving them up... and he says he's okay with that.
> 
> It's frustrating. Feels like a trap. I've hit that "I'm done with this" point several times and he's still around. Genuinely uncertain what happens next.


slap his sorry butt into submission and send him away tail between his legs


----------



## foi_unbound

i have a question for you : ' do you believe we are still stigmatized just because we are women and that we are considered weak and that we need a man in our lives to give us strength just because we are the "reason for the fall" i'm throwing all old idealogy and ''theology" on your ass to see if there is a populace that wasn't responding to what we did in the sixties. men still abused us and took free love and free unpaid sex without having to go through a prostitute. now there is free love and people seem to understand but i'm still upset about the trauma to women because of this mentality that pervaded our whole existence. comment if you like please. i would love to hear from you


----------



## Snakecharmer

carlaviii said:


> Hmm, I'm in the opposite boat: settled in the habit of casual/FWB relationships and met a guy who's thinking longer term. Told him I wasn't in the market yet, told him about the FWBs, told him I'm not giving them up... and he says he's okay with that.
> 
> It's frustrating. Feels like a trap. I've hit that "I'm done with this" point several times and he's still around. Genuinely uncertain what happens next.


It sounds like your guy is willing to stick around to see if you will eventually commit.

Things are progressing with mine, but I'm not sure exactly what is going on yet. I'm a pretty laid-back person and just go with the flow, but he's even more relaxed about things than I am, and I'm not used to that.

I think this is good for me, though - I'm used to rushing in and regretting things later. I'm in no rush this time. There is another guy who is interested and I'm curious about him too, but the one I've been seeing is priority right now.


----------



## ninjamaster

Can a slutty girl change, or am I falling into her abyss?


----------



## ENTrePreneur

arkmabat said:


> Can a slutty girl change, or am I falling into her abyss?


----------



## carlaviii

ENTrePreneur said:


> slap his sorry butt into submission and send him away tail between his legs


He might enjoy that a little too much, lol. 



foi_unbound said:


> i have a question for you : ' do you believe we are still stigmatized just because we are women and that we are considered weak and that we need a man in our lives to give us strength just because we are the "reason for the fall" i'm throwing all old idealogy and ''theology" on your ass to see if there is a populace that wasn't responding to what we did in the sixties. men still abused us and took free love and free unpaid sex without having to go through a prostitute. now there is free love and people seem to understand but i'm still upset about the trauma to women because of this mentality that pervaded our whole existence. comment if you like please. i would love to hear from you


I think that mentality is always going to be lurking around the corners of society because of the physical and emotional differences between the sexes... and you don't just toss off thousands of years of societal structure in a couple generations. It will take longer than that. Things have improved immensely, don't get me wrong, but it's an ongoing process and things could start sliding the wrong way at any time. 

That's part of why I'm reluctant to criticize the more vigilant and vocal side of feminism... the proverbial feminazis... because without them we would not have come this far this fast. And without them, we could easily slide back into the old habits. 

Just my opinion.


----------



## Chest

1. why women cannot keep a secret no matter what?
2. why women lie to me when I ask the question above?
3. why women watch spoilers, why? why they ruin the ending of a book or movie for themselves?
4. why they never answer a question straight up, they always have to ramble and make up excuses? why? why? why?


----------



## ENTrePreneur

carlaviii said:


> He might enjoy that a little too much, lol.


:laughing: I was kind of talking metaphorically... (but would it hurt to take me literally? He'd leave happy. :kitteh


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

arkmabat said:


> Can a slutty girl change, or am I falling into her abyss?


How can a girl be slutty?


----------



## ninjamaster

She said it, not I.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

arkmabat said:


> She said it, not I.


But what does it _mean_​?


----------



## carlaviii

arkmabat said:


> Can a slutty girl change, or am I falling into her abyss?


As someone who's going through a slutty phase... she will change when she decides to and/or has a reason to change. Maybe that will be you. Maybe it won't. Don't fall into the abyss, rappel down in full harness with a safety line.


----------



## sraddatz

If you are able to have sex with someone and not have feelings for that person, I say go for it. If not, I'd say stay away. You'll only get your heart broken.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## ninjamaster

Yeah my emotions are way to high right now. It's a bad idea. And she really doesn't even care I don't think. She just wants to mess around. :/ Good advice. Where are all the good girls? Why do I attract crazies? Help... haha.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

arkmabat said:


> Yeah my emotions are way to high right now. It's a bad idea. And she really doesn't even care I don't think. She just wants to mess around. :/ Good advice. Where are all the good girls? Why do I attract crazies? Help... haha.


U gotta be like me to attract all the good ones.


----------



## sraddatz

arkmabat said:


> Yeah my emotions are way to high right now. It's a bad idea. And she really doesn't even care I don't think. She just wants to mess around. :/ Good advice. Where are all the good girls? Why do I attract crazies? Help... haha.


Crazy girls are usually pretty hot in bed, though. I think there's a direct correlation between how crazy they are and how good they are. The more a girl is really good for you, the more you're sacrificing that really hot bootie. Yes, I just said bootie.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## HellCat

sraddatz said:


> Crazy girls are usually pretty hot in bed, though. I think there's a direct correlation between how crazy they are and how good they are. The more a girl is really good for you, the more you're sacrificing that really hot bootie. Yes, I just said bootie.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


That is utter horse shit.


----------



## letter_to_dana

arkmabat said:


> She said it, not I.





ENTrePreneur said:


> But what does it _mean_​?


True. Its very important what it means. Especially if those words were used by her.
There are a few reasons a girl would say about herself that she's slutty. One of them would be that she just introjected something her ex-boyfriends told her repeatedly and started acting more like that.
Or another reason would be that she's going thrugh a dark phase in her life and she acts more slutty just to cover something painful.
Or ... the simple one ... she really is very slutty lol. In the way you think she is.
Its very important what is behind that word and anyway how do you perceive her ...


----------



## Winters

arkmabat said:


> Yeah my emotions are way to high right now. It's a bad idea. And she really doesn't even care I don't think. She just wants to mess around. :/ Good advice. Where are all the good girls? Why do I attract crazies? Help... haha.


Good women... women are only good in your eyes till you wronged them... Some of this video is relevant. from about 1:06





Also, and this is the darker side of things.
out of every 4 suicides 3 are men. SO for every 1 women 3 guys knock them self off.

And out of that go check the stats most are because of relationship of a women basically destroying a guy taking everything they and have then relentlessly going after what he has left. 

I can say a lot more about all this but I will just go on a rant. 
BTW I am not Jaded... I just work with a lot of men and women in groups.


----------



## phony

What do you think about big age gaps when it comes to dating/hooking up?


----------



## letter_to_dana

phony said:


> What do you think about big age gaps when it comes to dating/hooking up?


I once dated a 33 years old guy.
At that time i was 21.
For us it was a deep communication gap. He already had experience with lots of women and even if he repeatedly told me he wanted to meet the right woman to be his wife, he still was clearly into the adventurous things that placed him far away from that wish... I couldn't be whatever he wanted me to be but it was very interesting to be by his side. I saw how direct and open he could be and that's what I liked about him.
I guess you have to be very mature to be able to manage a big gap of age in your relationship and also you have to know very well what you want/need so that you can take the best from the relationship even if it won't last for long.

I'm not sure how many women can answer in this topic :tongue: I'm interested in other perspectives too.


How much time can you stay without sex? (if not in a relationship)

How do you perceive women who slept with more than 5-10 men? (for you does it matter the number only or the reasons she did that?)


----------



## Blazy

phony said:


> What do you think about big age gaps when it comes to dating/hooking up?


As long as they're hot.. s'all good


----------



## sraddatz

phony said:


> What do you think about big age gaps when it comes to dating/hooking up?


Are you talking about trying to get laid or actually looking for a spouse? Those are 2 different approaches. 

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## phony

sraddatz said:


> Are you talking about trying to get laid or actually looking for a spouse? Those are 2 different approaches.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


either, both, anything.


----------



## phony

Wh1zkey said:


> As long as they're hot.. s'all good


you're not a woman...


----------



## phony

letter_to_dana said:


> 1. How much time can you stay without sex? (if not in a relationship)
> 
> 2. How do you perceive women who slept with more than 5-10 men? (for you does it matter the number only or the reasons she did that?)


1. 18 years  I've had sex with 1 person because I'm not into casual because I think lots of people are stupid and make dumb decisions. I am really paranoid about getting an STI etc so it's a lot less weird to tell your boyfriend to get tested (which I did before we did anything that involved genitals), rather than someone I've just met lol.

2. It has nothing to do with me, so I'm fine with it. I had a friend who slept with 11 guys last year, it's pretty cool I guess, it's more experience. They only thing I can't help but judge people (not just women) about is cheating (even when they're the 'other'), pressuring someone to have sex, and not being safe.


----------



## sraddatz

phony said:


> either, both, anything.


I'm not a woman, but I think it would be easier if you were just looking for sex. I think young girls are attracted to older men because that's when our maturity level finally matches. It's also acceptable by society for men in their 40's and 50's to be considered sexy.

I also think there are generational differences that affect personalities. As a caveat, though, there are different personalities within every generation.

If looking to marry or commit to someone, as long as you two are compatible, go for it. 

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## carlaviii

phony said:


> What do you think about big age gaps when it comes to dating/hooking up?


(shrugs) Works for me, but I'm the resident cougar...


----------



## carlaviii

letter_to_dana said:


> How much time can you stay without sex? (if not in a relationship)
> 
> How do you perceive women who slept with more than 5-10 men? (for you does it matter the number only or the reasons she did that?)


1. Let's see, sexless marriage for about five years... took me three years to realize the relationship was dead, so about two years. 

2. Doesn't matter to me at all and it would be hypocritical if it did. How do you perceive me if I say I kinda lost count after 15?


----------



## Effy

letter_to_dana said:


> How much time can you stay without sex? (if not in a relationship)
> 
> How do you perceive women who slept with more than 5-10 men? (for you does it matter the number only or the reasons she did that?)


1. "However long I have to" seems like the only possible answer. So technically indefinitely. After 2 months I'm very frustrated, but if the circumstances aren't amenable to me doing anything about it, then the situation continues.

2. No differently from any other woman. I don't care.




phony said:


> What do you think about big age gaps when it comes to dating/hooking up?


Personally I'm not interested. I tend to be suspicious of the motives of any older guy who pursues me. It makes me assume women of his own age don't want him. The only thing I have to offer over them is naivety and inexperience, and attraction to either of those traits doesn't suggest anything good. Age gaps creep me out when the age difference comes with a power imbalance. But I'm not going to judge a well-suited couple because of an age gap - it seems to work for a lot of people.


----------



## sraddatz

carlaviii said:


> (shrugs) Works for me, but I'm the resident cougar...


all hail the resident cougar. Get it while you can.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## Noctis

LeoCat said:


> I am really sorry man. That is not "bluntness" and a "dark side" it is called being a bully.
> 
> Maybe you should look up materials on narcissists and the like. It sounds like you had a run in with someone with those tendencies. I hope you heal fully.


She often did this: Victim playing - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


----------



## sraddatz

How do I help create a healthy attitude about men and sex to my daughters? What do you wish your father would have taught you about those topics?

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## Winters

sraddatz said:


> How do I help create a healthy attitude about men and sex to my daughters? What do you wish your father would have taught you about those topics?
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


Well my rule is as long as no guy physical hurt my daughter or demoralize her, let it be.
We are human we all need want sex/companionship, heartbreak is part of being close to people it will happen and needs to happen.


----------



## Effy

sraddatz said:


> How do I help create a healthy attitude about men and sex to my daughters? What do you wish your father would have taught you about those topics?
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


I think it'll all fall into place automatically if you treat your daughter well yourself. Make her feel very secure in the idea that you love, like and respect her. I think I'd have a healthier attitude towards men, love and sex if my father hadn't been so hot-and-cold to me throughout my childhood. He was very critical, often pushed me away and intermittently refused the affection I needed, and so on. He was and is a great father in so many ways, but he really, really didn't make me feel emotionally secure. It's a psychological cliche, but it's true that what you experience in your family as a child creates the patterns you'll repeat in your relationships in adulthood.

My dad never actually talked to me about love or sex when I was growing up. Partly because I always had my nose stuck in a book as a teenager and it wasn't until I left home (though I'm boomerang-generation'ing my way back) that it actually became relevant to me. I don't really know where a father should start. I think an open attitude is the only healthy attitude - it shouldn't ever be something you're embarrassed or ashamed to talk about together. I think respect for herself, her body and for other people is the most important thing - and that saying 'yes' or 'no' is equally valid, it's the reasons/intentions behind it that count. Enthusiastic consent, and so on. And the exact same values that are getting taught to her brothers.


----------



## tanstaafl28

Chest said:


> 1. why women cannot keep a secret no matter what?
> 2. why women lie to me when I ask the question above?
> 3. why women watch spoilers, why? why they ruin the ending of a book or movie for themselves?
> 4. why they never answer a question straight up, they always have to ramble and make up excuses? why? why? why?


This is not a gender-specific set of questions. Not all women act this way and some men act this way.


----------



## Chest

tanstaafl28 said:


> This is not a gender-specific set of questions. Not all women act this way and some men act this way.


you just wanna piss me off I know it


----------



## tanstaafl28

Chest said:


> you just wanna piss me off I know it


You're already pissed off. Why not spread it around a little?


----------



## Effy

Chest said:


> 1. why women cannot keep a secret no matter what?
> 2. why women lie to me when I ask the question above?
> 3. why women watch spoilers, why? why they ruin the ending of a book or movie for themselves?
> 4. why they never answer a question straight up, they always have to ramble and make up excuses? why? why? why?


----------



## sraddatz

Snakecharmer said:


> I haven't seen him and don't plan to, but yeah...the thought crossed my mind.
> 
> I'm completely detached from him emotionally. I'm good at that, which is good in this case (and unfortunate in others).
> 
> I'll also admit I'm vulnerable now because the old friend I was starting to see hasn't been around much (I think he is still in love with his soon-to-be ex-wife anyway).
> 
> Forever alone, I think.


He's out there. He also is a kind, loving man with a lot of money and a huge unit. I'm sure of it.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## Snakecharmer

sraddatz said:


> He's out there. He also is a kind, loving man with a lot of money and a huge unit. I'm sure of it.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


You rock


----------



## drmiller100

why do some women have such poor opinions of themselves they think they are only worthy of abusive assholes?


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

drmiller100 said:


> why do some women have such poor opinions of themselves they think they are only worthy of abusive assholes?


They believe they can't get anyone better. You answered your question really.


----------



## drmiller100

so meanwhile there are a bunch of decent single guys who are not pushy, aggressive, and no dates.

Hmmmm............


----------



## sraddatz

drmiller100 said:


> so meanwhile there are a bunch of decent single guys who are not pushy, aggressive, and no dates.
> 
> Hmmmm............


It's the assholes that always seem to get laid, right?

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## drmiller100

sraddatz said:


> It's the assholes that always seem to get laid, right?
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


I can be an asshole and get laid as much as I want.

I have a bunch of buddies who are really nice guys but move slow and they mostly have given up.


----------



## phony

sraddatz said:


> It's the assholes that always seem to get laid, right?
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


maybe they are fucking female versions of themselves


----------



## shameless

What fountain of youth did you drink out of because I need to start now. I just can't believe you have children the ages they are. I hope I age as well as you.


----------



## letter_to_dana

drmiller100 said:


> why do some women have such poor opinions of themselves they think they are only worthy of abusive assholes?


That's a really complicated question!
There are lots of theories that tried to explain the reason behind this issue.
If you are interested you can read more in this study about attachment problems, introjections and dependency.

I recently read something about how those with borderline personality disorder (BPD) are behaving in a similar way.
While normal people want a good partner, a healthy relationship that will make them grow together, those with BPD (and woman who stay in abusive relationships) want the reverse of it. They have this need of being only with people who treat them badly...


----------



## Wellsy

If you were to write a book, what would it be like?

How would you describe your favourite person or one of your favourite people?

What is the worst nightmare you've had?

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

Do you have any cool scars?

What has been your most challenging life experience?


----------



## HellCat

Wellsy said:


> If you were to write a book, what would it be like?
> 
> How would you describe your favourite person or one of your favourite people?
> 
> What is the worst nightmare you've had?
> 
> Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
> 
> Do you have any cool scars?
> 
> What has been your most challenging life experience?


Please rephrase line four. I want to kill myself trying to decipher that sentence. Awesome questions. I want to answer them.


----------



## Wellsy

LeoCat said:


> Please rephrase line four. I want to kill myself trying to decipher that sentence. Awesome questions. I want to answer them.


Line 4 is a nonsense question, disregard :laughing:
Sorry to have made you suicidal over it.


----------



## HellCat

Wellsy said:


> Line 4 is a nonsense question, disregard :laughing:
> Sorry to have made you suicidal over it.


smartass. LOL But now I NEED to know what you meant.. because I am obsessive and crazy and need to solve things.


----------



## Wellsy

LeoCat said:


> smartass. LOL But now I NEED to know what you meant.. because I am obsessive and crazy and need to solve things.


It has no meaning, it's a terrible sentence that doesn't follow the rules of English. If it has any purpose it is to do just as it has done, to antagonize the mind when read.


----------



## HellCat

Wellsy said:


> If you were to write a book, what would it be like?
> 
> How would you describe your favourite person or one of your favourite people?
> 
> What is the worst nightmare you've had?
> 
> Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
> 
> Do you have any cool scars?
> 
> What has been your most challenging life experience?


1. A thriller with a lot of erotica, violence, twisted, perverse and fucking hilarious dry humor, just because. 

2. The most intriguing mind I have ever encountered. among other things.

3. My father took up ritual human sacrifice to "gain peoples powers" I woke up shivering.

4. I need to know what you meant here.

5. Yes. A crescent shaped moon on my forehead from waking someone up who attacked me. I had a concussion for three days. 

6. Moving out of the house at sixteen because my fathers a nutty cult leader. I consulted many attorneys and police agencies to make sure I would not be picked up for it. Then navigating their treachery for nine further until I wised up and cut them off for good. Ah I love peace. perfect shalom.


----------



## HellCat

Wellsy said:


> It has no meaning, it's a terrible sentence that doesn't follow the rules of English. If it has any purpose it is to do just as it has done, to antagonize the mind when read.


totally cruel man.


----------



## Wellsy

LeoCat said:


> totally cruel man.


I'm sure you can forgive me this once.


----------



## HellCat

Wellsy said:


> I'm sure you can forgive me this once.


It was a good troll move. bravo!


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

drmiller100 said:


> so meanwhile there are a bunch of decent single guys who are not pushy, aggressive, and no dates.
> 
> Hmmmm............


Don't start this 'Nice Guy' stuff, please. "Nice Guys" can become aggressive assholes, it's not like people have neon signs above their heads saying 'I beat women/men up. Avoid'. It's hardly anyone's fault if they pretend to be nice then turn angry.



> If you were to write a book, what would it be like?
> 
> How would you describe your favourite person or one of your favourite people?
> 
> What is the worst nightmare you've had?
> 
> Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
> 
> Do you have any cool scars?
> 
> What has been your most challenging life experience?


1) I've attempted writing books with different plot lines but I gave up because of the dreaded writer's block lol.

2) I think my favourite people tend to be extroverted. Totally different to me because I like seeing their differences compared to me. 

3) I had one about an apocolypse with skeletons riding on horses in flames. This was when I was like 12; I've always had vivid nightmares/dreams. That was intense and I was like wtf when I woke up lol

4) idgi?

5) I have a chunk of skin out of my eyebrow with a scar there now after cutting my eyebrow on a corner of a table when I was young. It hurt.

6) Trying to get along everyday with social anxiety is very challenging. I'd say school was very challenging for me, I never wanted to go but I forced myself to every day because it was awful so I'd say that was difficult for me.


----------



## VIIZZY

Wellsy said:


> If you were to write a book, what would it be like?
> 
> How would you describe your favourite person or one of your favourite people?
> 
> What is the worst nightmare you've had?
> 
> Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
> 
> Do you have any cool scars?
> 
> What has been your most challenging life experience?


1. They tend to explore the darker sides of human nature and just how badly a mind can break. 

2. Brilliant, flaky, exciting, sporadic, she has the type of personality that people get addicted to. 

3. I don't know, my nightmares tend to have common themes in them such as; trying to save others but they refuse to listen, reaching out for help and being impeded by physical obstacles. I had a sleep paralysis hallucination in which I felt like I was falling down a large chasm leading to hell; I'd been woken up by a banging sound to the left of my bed which is what led to the sleep paralysis. Till this day I don't know where the banging sound came from; my room is locked so no one could have been in their to make that happen. 

4. What? 

5. Define cool....I have a burn scar on my hand that's shaped like a 6 but initially it looked like a simple silhouette of a bear.


----------



## carlaviii

drmiller100 said:


> so meanwhile there are a bunch of decent single guys who are not pushy, aggressive, and no dates.


(shrugs) None of the guys I'm seeing are assholes. IMO. I suspect that's where the problem lies.



Wellsy said:


> If you were to write a book, what would it be like?
> How would you describe your favourite person or one of your favourite people?
> What is the worst nightmare you've had?
> Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
> Do you have any cool scars?
> What has been your most challenging life experience?


1. I've written many books, self-published some, was recently offered a contract on another. They're all different. 
2. I would describe him with very specific nouns so as not to rely on adjectives and adverbs. 
3. Worst fright I've had was when I opened my eyes, looked up and saw a pair of feet dangling over my bed. Looked farther up and realized it was someone I care about hanging over my bed with his head cocked to the side that way a hangman's noose forces it to -- I was up out of that bed like a shot, heart racing. Which was what made me really wake up. 
4. :frustrating:
5. No
6. (trying to think of one I don't feel like I've failed at..)


----------



## FakeLefty

Out of all the stereotypical guy behaviors, which one amuses you the most?


----------



## qingdom

Can the clitoris be tickled? or is it not that comfy and should never be tickled…. ever?


----------



## Snakecharmer

Wellsy said:


> If you were to write a book, what would it be like?


Fantasy or sci-fi, with unicorns, centaurs, fauns, and flying horses and stuff.



Wellsy said:


> How would you describe your favourite person or one of your favourite people?


Non-judgmental, creative, open-minded, free-thinking, laid-back



Wellsy said:


> What is the worst nightmare you've had?


Oh gods. :angry: I used to have this recurring dream where my teeth would fall out. I'd wake up in a panic and check to make sure they were still there.



Wellsy said:


> Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?


Yes. Yes, indeed. (LOL - I love that question and that you included it.) :laughing:



Wellsy said:


> Do you have any cool scars?


I have a few. I was in a bad car accident a few years ago, during which I broke the driver's side window with my head and left shoulder. I still have some glass embedded in my shoulder and upper arm. The scars have faded a lot and aren't really big, but I still think they are sorta badass. 

I've also had 3 abdominal surgeries and have what I jokingly call "Franken-belly". They've gone in through my belly button a few times, so it looks really funny now, with a line going down from it. There's a hernia repair scar right in the middle of my abs too.



Wellsy said:


> What has been your most challenging life experience?


Life.


----------



## carlaviii

qingdom said:


> Can the clitoris be tickled? or is it not that comfy and should never be tickled…. ever?


It depends on the woman. I probably wouldn't even notice.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Wellsy said:


> If you were to write a book, what would it be like?* It would be about a personal journey...overcoming, most likely. Or maybe a book of poems. *
> 
> How would you describe your favourite person or one of your favourite people?* I don't think I would need to...he is truly a person who walks the walk. He doesn't need to talk himself up in the least. People are drawn to him, admire him, and trust him. So basically, his actions speak better than any words I could ever come up with.
> *
> What is the worst nightmare you've had? *I'd say the worst one I can think of was when my first born was a newborn...I dreamt I was holding him on the shore of the ocean, wading in the water. A wave came and washed him out of my arms and I was frantically looking for him. I suddenly looked down as I was running through the water and saw a line of darkness where the sea floor dropped. My heart sunk and pain ripped through me. I woke immediately and looked into the bassinet next to me for my baby. I cried instantly from relief, held him, kissed him, and woke my husband to tell him my horrible nightmare.
> *
> Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like? *Always striving for make it up and after *
> 
> Do you have any cool scars?* I wouldn't call it "cool", but I have a rather large one on my chest. People ask me if I was stabbed more often than you'd think. *
> 
> What has been your most challenging life experience?


*Hmmm, I'd say, overcoming something that could've easily taken over me.
*


----------



## Snakecharmer

drmiller100 said:


> why do some women have such poor opinions of themselves they think they are only worthy of abusive assholes?


Because some of us have issues.  One of my friends is a medical professional with a background in psychology. We are a lot alike, and he's been helping me sort things out. Long story short, my attachment style is fearful-avoidant, and that helps explain why I have a history of being drawn to a certain type of man. I also tend to think I can fix people, I can be naive, and I'm too trusting.


----------



## Snakecharmer

drmiller100 said:


> I can be an asshole and get laid as much as I want.
> 
> I have a bunch of buddies who are really nice guys but move slow and they mostly have given up.


I'll be really honest here. I am drawn to bad boys...the adventurous types...if they move too slowly I'm likely to get bored and move on. Then again, going too fast freaks me out too.

Yeah, I'm a mess.


----------



## Hypaspist

Almost asked this to a classmate today outright. Curiosity beckons. Also I want to ask something that would involve a drastic suspension of inhibitions sometimes.

Does it hurt to get kicked between the legs?

I've heard the act get some comical names, and I've heard some theories.



Also a bit more serious question :

Is there a way of acting that comes off as "trying too hard", or sabotaging his chances because he's broadcasting he's taken when he's actually single?

Inquiring minds want to know. And apologies if some of this has already been answered. 335 pages is tl;dr territory for me.


----------



## HellCat

Naukowiec said:


> Almost asked this to a classmate today outright. Curiosity beckons. Also I want to ask something that would involve a drastic suspension of inhibitions sometimes.
> 
> Does it hurt to get kicked between the legs?
> 
> I've heard the act get some comical names, and I've heard some theories.
> 
> 
> 
> Also a bit more serious question :
> 
> Is there a way of acting that comes off as "trying too hard", or sabotaging his chances because he's broadcasting he's taken when he's actually single?
> 
> Inquiring minds want to know. And apologies if some of this has already been answered. 335 pages is tl;dr territory for me.



Being pushy is trying too hard. 

How does one broadcast they are taken but single? That would attract the wrong breed of women.


----------



## HellCat

drmiller100 said:


> why do some women have such poor opinions of themselves they think they are only worthy of abusive assholes?


Its more like we don't always notice they are abusive assholes. Its not about low self esteem as much as it is a frozen heart in my case. 

If you are logical and cold enough it just looks like a "bad day" kind of lashing out. Then you ignore it until one day you realize every day is a bad day. That not all people act like adult babies. 

I seriously have never noticed how narcissistic and like gaston from beauty and beast men are, until my friends or brother points it out and chases them off. Of course they were never stronger than me so I just kind of pity them and ignore it. Which is foolish of me.


----------



## Wellsy

How have your romantic relationships typically formed?
Was there a moment of formality, where it seemed to become official, "We're going out now".
Or was it just hanging out and things flowed from one thing to the next?


----------



## HellCat

Wellsy said:


> How have your romantic relationships typically formed?
> Was there a moment of formality, where it seemed to become official, "We're going out now".
> Or was it just hanging out and things flowed from one thing to the next?


I see you kindly refrained from the crazy question this time! 


Relentless pursuit and smart ass macho posturing. I am a notorious commitment phobe, I even had open marriages in the past. So it could best be described as.. chasing me like a satyr bugging a nymph who really just wanted to read her book, until I gave in and slept with them and then they would spend a week demanding a commitment until I got bored. Of course they could never outwit me. So it was a moot point.

Until I finally wasn't bored and was severely outwitted and outplayed.


----------



## Wellsy

LeoCat said:


> I see you kindly refrained from the crazy question this time!


Doubt I could trick you into reading it a 2nd time.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Wellsy said:


> How have your romantic relationships typically formed?
> Was there a moment of formality, where it seemed to become official, "We're going out now".
> Or was it just hanging out and things flowed from one thing to the next?


Usually online. Typically we start off as friends and things evolve. I like it that way.

I tend to be attracted to very assertive men who sort of take over control of how/where things are going, so I let them take the lead. I go with the flow, but if a guy moves too slowly, I'll get bored and move on.

I'm not a fan of dating more than one man at a time (and definitely will NOT be sexually active with more than one). I don't need full commitment right away, but I do need some indication that we both want things to move in that direction. I don't like games or casual dating.


----------



## ai.tran.75

FakeLefty said:


> Out of all the stereotypical guy behaviors, which one amuses you the most?


The rebellious type always manages to amuse me 


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## ai.tran.75

Wellsy said:


> How have your romantic relationships typically formed?
> Quite quickly- if I like somebody and they like me back we enter a relationship - I talk and then jump into the relationship - don't really date - guess I'm old fashion if we hold hands we're together
> 
> Was there a moment of formality, where it seemed to become official, "We're going out now".
> Or was it just hanging out and things flowed from one thing to the next
> 
> For me it's quite obvious when a relationship is being establish - there's always that connection moment that you just know - most if my bf asks me out . However I did date this really shy guy - and he never really asked me out- but when a friend of mine came up and ask him " are you guys together ?" He got very offended and said " what does it look like to you ?shes obviously my gf" I think you just "know "
> 
> 
> ?





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----------



## ai.tran.75

Wellsy said:


> If you were to write a book, what would it be like? It would be probably be a book about relationships/love advice or a comedic suspense thriller
> 
> How would you describe your favourite person or one of your favourite people?
> My partner - humorous, cunning, messy, artistic, rebellious, compelling, risk taker, deep thinker, charismatic , charming , loving, takes me for who I am, make me feel like the best version of myself when I'm around him
> 
> What is the worst nightmare you've had?
> Oh there are so many! But the most recent one is with me wandering around my old room and picked up a Victorian doll(one that my grandma gave to me) and the suddenly I feel her porcelain body move- I look down at her and her eyes went bright red and she smiled- I dropped her and she got back from the ground and started floating after me- I suddenly realize that I was dreaming and tried screaming or blinked to open my eyes, when she got really close to me I woke up! Funny to talk about it now but in my dream it was terrifying
> 
> Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
> 
> I don't understand this question -
> 
> 
> Do you have any cool scars?
> Yeah one on my knee from jumping the fence, and another on my elbow from a burn from the oven - they're pretty cool bc they make great conversation stories
> 
> What has been your most challenging life experience
> 
> The process of losing my aunt to lung cancer- the last 2 years of her life she was immobilized and was only able to blink or grasp a person hand lightly to communicate- definitely took a toll from me emotionally -
> 
> 
> 
> ?





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## Amacey

Why is my profile picture not showing plz tell meh


----------



## ai.tran.75

sraddatz said:


> What is the best dateyou've ever been on? I'm looking for something to beak the dinner and movie rut.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


Best date I've ever been on was when my partner decided to bring me and a group of friends to go to this Haunted Event at an Amusement Park- roller coasters , haunted houses to go to and zombies chasing us

Aquariums , art museum or archery would be fun dates ideas 


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## sraddatz

ai.tran.75 said:


> Best date I've ever been on was when my partner decided to bring me and a group of friends to go to this Haunted Event at an Amusement Park- roller coasters , haunted houses to go to and zombies chasing us
> 
> Aquariums , art museum or archery would be fun dates ideas
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Archery would be lots of fun, but my wife is accident prone. Nothing more romantic than a trip to the ER! Aquarium would be nice.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


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## kiwig0ld

If a girl sends me a naked pic, what does she want back? No matter how I frame it I can't get my dick pics right.


----------



## carlaviii

kiwig0ld said:


> If a girl sends me a naked pic, what does she want back? No matter how I frame it I can't get my dick pics right.


Send something with an equivalent amount of skin, as in: if her pic contains most of her body, your pic should also contain most of your body. If she sent just her nads, send just yours.


----------



## sraddatz

carlaviii said:


> Send something with an equivalent amount of skin, as in: if her pic contains most of her body, your pic should also contain most of your body. If she sent just her nads, send just yours.


Why don't I ever get naked pictures? Dammit!

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


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## Snakecharmer

I don't get the naked pics thing, unless it is someone you're already in a relationship with. Leave some mystery there!


----------



## sraddatz

Snakecharmer said:


> I don't get the naked pics thing, unless it is someone you're already in a relationship with. Leave some mystery there!


Might be a guy thing. We're always in the mood for nudity.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Definitely not just a guy thing.


----------



## sraddatz

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Definitely not just a guy thing.


Let me just say this is why this thread is important! It surprises me that women actually like that sort of thing. I think my wife would think I'm nuts (tee hee) if I sent her a picture of me. So some ladies actually like that?

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## Jwing24

A girl I'm seeing is not really interested in fitness/health and has very poor eating habits. It seems clear to me this is not going to change. I am the opposite (I exercise and watch my diet). We are together right now because we get along so well personality wise. 

However, because of their habits, all I see is them becoming more and more unhealthy. When I have brought this up, their response has been one of passive acknowledgement (oh yeah, you're right I will get on that). Or ignoring what I have to say ( OOO look chocolate cake! Want some?)

There really isn't a way for this to work is there? I can't change them and they don't want to change.


----------



## Jwing24

A girl I'm seeing is not really interested in fitness/health and has very poor eating habits. It seems clear to me this is not going to change. I am the opposite (I exercise and watch my diet). We are together right now because we get along so well personality wise. We enjoy each other's company.

However, because of their habits, all I see is them becoming more and more unhealthy (when I see our prospects of a relationship). When I have brought this up, their response has been one of passive acknowledgement (oh yeah, you're right I will get on that). Or ignoring what I have to say ( OOO look chocolate cake! Want some?)

There really isn't a way for this to work is there? I can't change them and they don't want to change.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

sraddatz said:


> Let me just say this is why this thread is important! It surprises me that women actually like that sort of thing. I think my wife would think I'm nuts (tee hee) if I sent her a picture of me. So some ladies actually like that?
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


Of course. Lol nice pun.


----------



## carlaviii

Jwing24 said:


> There really isn't a way for this to work is there? I can't change them and they don't want to change.


It can work, actually, if you accept that it's her body and she can feed it however she likes. As long as she isn't stopping you from eating as you choose to, this doesn't have to be a problem... and maybe in the long run you can have a positive influence on her. 

An anecdote example: a few years before I split up with my husband, I began to switch our food habits to a healthier style: whole grains, avoiding HFCS, avoiding processed foods in general, no more soda, etc. Since I was in sole control of the kitchen and its contents, I know that what I served my husband was healthy. If he went out and ate McDonald's for lunch, that was his business and he did it alone. We both still got healthier, which was the point anyhow.


----------



## sraddatz

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Of course. Lol nice pun.


My mind is blown now. 

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## ai.tran.75

Jwing24 said:


> A girl I'm seeing is not really interested in fitness/health and has very poor eating habits. It seems clear to me this is not going to change. I am the opposite (I exercise and watch my diet). We are together right now because we get along so well personality wise. We enjoy each other's company.
> 
> However, because of their habits, all I see is them becoming more and more unhealthy (when I see our prospects of a relationship). When I have brought this up, their response has been one of passive acknowledgement (oh yeah, you're right I will get on that). Or ignoring what I have to say ( OOO look chocolate cake! Want some?)
> 
> There really isn't a way for this to work is there? I can't change them and they don't want to change.


Perhaps try being optimistic and inspire her or take her to work out with you, if she's a girl and ur telling her to workout she may feel insecure, you can always add working out into dates- and eating healthy into a competition ? Make it a game rather than a concern for her - only she herself can make the decision of changing - but perhaps fun activities and competition may motivate her or let her watch Food Inc documentary - along that line. Good luck 


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----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

sraddatz said:


> My mind is blown now.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


Why?


----------



## sraddatz

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Why?


I didn't think that women would enjoy something so overtly sexual. A lot of my perceptions about sex are from my wife. She is kind of a prude. She is really the only woman I've had sex with in a ltr. I've had a couple other experiences, but they were kind of one-offs.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

sraddatz said:


> I didn't think that women would enjoy something so overtly sexual. A lot of my perceptions about sex are from my wife. She is kind of a prude. She is really the only woman I've had sex with in a ltr. I've had a couple other experiences, but they were kind of one-offs.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


People like different things. Women like sex and like to be sexual too, you know.


----------



## sraddatz

isingthebodyelectric said:


> People like different things. Women like sex and like to be sexual too, you know.


That is exciting and depressing all at the same time. I'm working in getting there with my wife. I think its going to take a long time.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## ai.tran.75

phony said:


> What do you think about big age gaps when it comes to dating/hooking up?


Depending on the persons age at the time, I'll be honest it's really weird to see a 20 years old dating a 45 years old man but my friend has been happily married with her husband for 6 years - so my view really changed after that . Now I couldn't care less 


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----------



## Wellsy

Snakecharmer said:


> I don't get the naked pics thing, unless it is someone you're already in a relationship with. Leave some mystery there!


What if you stick on a top hat and some googly eyes? hahaha


----------



## HellCat

Wellsy said:


> What if you stick on a top hat and some googly eyes? hahaha


I bet you have.


----------



## Wellsy

LeoCat said:


> I bet you have.


Only for a puppet show.


----------



## sraddatz

Makes me think of an Abraham Lincoln penis.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

sraddatz said:


> That is exciting and depressing all at the same time. I'm working in getting there with my wife. I think its going to take a long time.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


You can't change people, ultimately.

I have to ask...didn't you discuss this kind of stuff _before _you got married?


----------



## sraddatz

We didn't really discuss it before we got married, because our sex life was OK back then. We discussed the more practical things like, where do you want to live, how will household duties be divvied up, will she work outside the home, how many kids do you want, will we teach them about God, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny. (I'm not relating these, just paraphrasing conversations), you know, boring stuff. We used to have lots of fun together, but then the kids came, and it's like everything fun about my wife disappeared.


----------



## ai.tran.75

sraddatz said:


> We didn't really discuss it before we got married, because our sex life was OK back then. We discussed the more practical things like, where do you want to live, how will household duties be divvied up, will she work outside the home, how many kids do you want, will we teach them about God, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny. (I'm not relating these, just paraphrasing conversations), you know, boring stuff. We used to have lots of fun together, but then the kids came, and it's like everything fun about my wife disappeared.


Perhaps you should try to do a weekend together every other week or month or something - alone time without the kids should spice things up 


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----------



## sraddatz

ai.tran.75 said:


> Perhaps you should try to do a weekend together every other week or month or something - alone time without the kids should spice things up
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I'm all for that! We have friends at church that have offered to watch the kids. We need to take advantage if that.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## carlaviii

Wellsy said:


> What if you stick on a top hat and some googly eyes? hahaha





LeoCat said:


> I bet you have.


...I think I need to see this.


----------



## Wellsy

carlaviii said:


> ...I think I need to see this.


Well the next best thing is a performance called Puppetry of the Penis, legit dick tricks hahaha


----------



## carlaviii

Wellsy said:


> Well the next best thing is a performance called Puppetry of the Penis, legit dick tricks hahaha


Argh, I'm so easily teased... where's my INTJ detachment when I need it... :tongue:


----------



## Dashing

Why is the perfect place to leave your clothes EVERYWHERE IN THE HOUSE?


----------



## carlaviii

Dashing said:


> Why is the perfect place to leave your clothes EVERYWHERE IN THE HOUSE?


I don't -- *he* was the one leaving clothes everywhere!


----------



## ai.tran.75

Dashing said:


> Why is the perfect place to leave your clothes EVERYWHERE IN THE HOUSE?


Ah natural habit - please forgive me for being disorganize. My husband on the other hand doesn't mind so much bc he does it more than I do 


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----------



## ENTrePreneur

Why am I so insecure when it comes to .. girls?


----------



## ai.tran.75

ENTrePreneur said:


> Why am I so insecure when it comes to .. girls?


What do you mean by insecure ?


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----------



## ENTrePreneur

ai.tran.75 said:


> What do you mean by insecure ?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Um...

Not.. secure?

I don't know.. I tend to be unsure of myself when it comes to relationships.


----------



## ai.tran.75

Try getting comfortable around a person first and take it from there . Are you unsure as in shy and misreading signals ? Or unsure as in unwilling to commit 


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----------



## ENTrePreneur

ai.tran.75 said:


> Try getting comfortable around a person first and take it from there . Are you unsure as in shy and misreading signals ? Or unsure as in unwilling to commit
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Yeah.. I always misread signals.. misunderstand things.. Err.. and I just flat out don't get emotions. They scare me because I don't understand them and I don't know what to do with them.


----------



## ai.tran.75

ENTrePreneur said:


> Yeah.. I always misread signals.. misunderstand things.. Err.. and I just flat out don't get emotions. They scare me because I don't understand them and I don't know what to do with them.


Ah the thing with emotion is - just listen , you don't actually have to solve anyone's problem, if you are dealing with your own emotions - I suggest writing it out and list out the worst case scenario and the realistic results - that's what I do - 


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----------



## Spanks

xdollie. said:


> I'd have to disagree with that. I'd much rather watch Hunny Boo Boo than watch real live cannibal pussy eaters...but hey, to each their own!


oh wow where is the block button at because I know you did not just say that. is this a hallucination, a nightmare, or.

whatever it is, I'm going to take a nap and hope my eyes are deceiving me.


----------



## DeductiveReasoner

why hasn't this thread been stickied yet?


----------



## aaronjohnston

Very exciting this thread  just the type of thing an INTP likes to discuss lol. 

And by that I mean we like to discuss anything sexual. Correct me if I'm wrong here??? 

I think there many answers that can be given to the question of oral. As many of the lady's have already said, it's a case of whether they like it or not. 

But your not gona know if you don't ask, apart from taking the decision upon yourself, which is highly NOT recommended. 

Trail and error and practice makes perfect is the key if your allowed to go down. 

Sent from my GT-N7100 using Tapatalk


----------



## Snakecharmer

Wellsy said:


> When was the last time you laughed really hard and what provoked it?
> 
> And I mean, it almost killed you it was that hilarious
> 
> AND
> Thoughts on the phrase "I love you".
> Do you say it to anyone? What's the context that prompts you to say it?
> How do you feel when you say it? Have you had it said to you much in your life?


The last time I laughed really hard was at these Jay Z memes:





















This almost made me choke from laughing so hard (I think Kanye is a jerk and I could see him saying this):


----------



## Snakecharmer

Wellsy said:


> When was the last time you laughed really hard and what provoked it?
> 
> And I mean, it almost killed you it was that hilarious
> 
> AND
> Thoughts on the phrase "I love you".
> Do you say it to anyone? What's the context that prompts you to say it?
> How do you feel when you say it? Have you had it said to you much in your life?


Dang it. Premature send on the last reply to this :dry:

And this - I posted this on FB and had a conversation about it - in German - with two friends. One said "Die Katze wird Polen einzumarschieren." (The cat will invade Poland.) and I was in hysterics.









Okay, about "I love you"...

I say it to my kids, of course. I'm thinking you mean in a romantic context, though. All I can say is that I can't and won't say it unless I mean it. Saying it when I mean it and truly feel it? Feels great. :happy: Has it been said to me a lot? That's hard to quantify...compared to what?


----------



## Snakecharmer

sraddatz said:


> My mind is blown now.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


And the puns just keep on cumming


----------



## Snakecharmer

sraddatz said:


> Is anal sex a thing real women do, or is it just a porno thing?
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


Erm, *cough* some of us love it *cough*


----------



## cinnabun

aaronjohnston said:


> Very exciting this thread  just the type of thing an INTP likes to discuss lol.
> 
> And by that I mean we like to discuss anything sexual. Correct me if I'm wrong here???


Seeing as this thread _is _located in the 'sex and relationships' section, then yes, I would say you're free to ask us anything sex related. Like I said earlier, nothing is too "R rated". Don't be shy, we're certainly not shy about answering:tongue:.


----------



## aaronjohnston

xdollie. said:


> Seeing as this thread _is _located in the 'sex and relationships' section, then yes, I would say you're free to ask us anything sex related. Like I said earlier, nothing is too "R rated". Don't be shy, we're certainly not shy about answering:tongue:.


I do apologise lol, I did one of those INTP things and completely immersed myself in the R rated conversation in this thread. Which then kind of led to me forgetting what section of the forum I was in lol. 

And for the record I'm certainly not shy in the slightest  

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----------



## sraddatz

Snakecharmer said:


> Erm, *cough* some of us love it *cough*


really? Can you orgasm from it?

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----------



## Snakecharmer

sraddatz said:


> really? Can you orgasm from it?


Yes and yes.

I think a lot of women don't like it because they don't give it a chance, or are doing it wrong. You can't just, er, shove it in there and go at it, you know? Lube and patience are your friends. Teamwork is everything here, too...she has to be relaxed - the term "anal retentive" didn't come out of nowhere. lol

A drink or two before giving it a shot (ouch, bad choice of word there) might help her relax.

When I said I think some women don't give it a chance, what I mean is this: it usually DOES hurt quite a bit at first - she has to relax and get past that first few seconds or minutes (!) and then she'll likely be fine...and then she'll likely start enjoying it.

There are physical and psychological reasons people enjoy it...there are lots of nerve endings in there, and the feeling is...different, hard to explain. Plus, there's the feeling that you are doing something naughty and taboo, and also...the bond you feel with your partner for doing something so intimate and INTENSE together. There has to be trust there - a lot of it, IMO, as the er, recipient is in a very vulnerable position.

As for the orgasm? It's a full-body experience. Very intense, and different from a clitoral or g-spot orgasm.

Before anyone asks, in my experience, it is NOT messy. Never had an issue with that, ever. 

Okay. I'm going to crawl under the sofa and hide now. I can't believe I just wrote this on a public forum.

The things I do for humanity...


----------



## sraddatz

Snakecharmer said:


> Yes and yes.
> 
> I think a lot of women don't like it because they don't give it a chance, or are doing it wrong. You can't just, er, shove it in there and go at it, you know? Lube and patience are your friends. Teamwork is everything here, too...she has to be relaxed - the term "anal retentive" didn't come out of nowhere. lol
> 
> A drink or two before giving it a shot (ouch, bad choice of word there) might help her relax.
> 
> When I said I think some women don't give it a chance, what I mean is this: it usually DOES hurt quite a bit at first - she has to relax and get past that first few seconds or minutes (!) and then she'll likely be fine...and then she'll likely start enjoying it.
> 
> There are physical and psychological reasons people enjoy it...there are lots of nerve endings in there, and the feeling is...different, hard to explain. Plus, there's the feeling that you are doing something naughty and taboo, and also...the bond you feel with your partner for doing something so intimate and INTENSE together. There has to be trust there - a lot of it, IMO, as the er, recipient is in a very vulnerable position.
> 
> As for the orgasm? It's a full-body experience. Very intense, and different from a clitoral or g-spot orgasm.
> 
> Before anyone asks, in my experience, it is NOT messy. Never had an issue with that, ever.
> 
> Okay. I'm going to crawl under the sofa and hide now. I can't believe I just wrote this on a public forum.
> 
> The things I do for humanity...


Very interesting. No reason to be ashamed. 

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## drmiller100

for the guy, LOTS of patience. a few clitoral orgasms, a finger with GOOD lube, two fingers, more lube.

use silicon based lubes for this. they don't wear away, and alittle goes a loooong way so to speak.

when you begin to penetrate, patience. do NOT force it. let her settle, get comfortable. apparently bearing down like a bowel movement opens things up, and if she is in pain, she cant' do that.

once you play in the back door, do not switch to the front door with that appendage. nasty yeast icky stuff you don't want to learn about......


----------



## Brian1

Could there be a woman who is both alpha, and beta?


----------



## Spanks

Brian1 said:


> Could there be a woman who is both alpha, and beta?


I can't wait to see the utter bullshit somebody will actually bother writing up as a reply to this.

No.


----------



## JaySH

Spanks said:


> I can't wait to see the utter bullshit somebody will actually bother writing up as a reply to this.
> 
> No.


I'm actually curious as well. There are people, men and women, who, in their comfort zone, are very assertive and take leadership roles-Alpha. However, that same person, once in an area where they are not as comfortable/confident, they become less assertive. Also, many "alpha" women want to be less alpha in the bedroom. As much as they like to take charge, they prefer to more submissive when the clothes come off, in my experience.

So, I disagree..but I'm not a woman. Guess I'll wait to see what "bullshit" they say.


----------



## drmiller100

JaySH said:


> IThere are people, men and women, who, in their comfort zone, are very assertive and take leadership roles-Alpha. However, that same person, once in an area where they are not as comfortable/confident, they become less assertive. Also, many "alpha" women want to be less alpha in the bedroom. As much as they like to take charge, they prefer to more submissive when the clothes come off, in my experience.
> 
> So, I disagree..but I'm not a woman. Guess I'll wait to see what "bullshit" they say.


maybe the alphas become more confident the more fucked up and uncomfortable a situation becomes, and a beta becomes less so.
I also think people can be different roles in different situations and around different people.


----------



## Snakecharmer

JaySH said:


> I'm actually curious as well. There are people, men and women, who, in their comfort zone, are very assertive and take leadership roles-Alpha. However, that same person, once in an area where they are not as comfortable/confident, they become less assertive. Also, many "alpha" women want to be less alpha in the bedroom. As much as they like to take charge, they prefer to more submissive when the clothes come off, in my experience.
> 
> So, I disagree..but I'm not a woman. Guess I'll wait to see what "bullshit" they say.


I prefer not to be in leadership roles, but have ended up in them somehow more than once. I think on PAPER I appear to be someone who can manage people because I've owned two small businesses, and helped run a third (my ex-husband's practice). I do know how to run a business, but I prefer not to have to deal with employees and their associated issues. I will step up and do it if I have to (or if I'm paid well enough :wink: ). I have a very hands-off approach to management, though (as I do with parenting). 

I'm not convinced that anyone is truly alpha or beta, nope. I think it is role and situation-dependent.

I CAN be very assertive when a situation warrants. 

In the bedroom, I'm very much beta. I've been a single parent for a long time, and I've had to run every part of my life on my own for so long that it is nice to have someone else take over in er, certain situations.

*grabs popcorn*


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Brian1 said:


> Could there be a woman who is both alpha, and beta?


Really? Do people refer to people as these terms in real life?


----------



## aaronjohnston

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Really? Do people refer to people as these terms in real life?


Haha my thoughts exactly!  

Sent from my GT-N7100 using Tapatalk


----------



## ThatOneWeirdGuy

ai.tran.75 said:


> Im very sensual - I play with almost every part of my body
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Made my day.


----------



## cinnabun

ThatOneWeirdGuy said:


> Do you ever just play with your boobs when no one is around?


Hell yes. What's the use of having boobs and then ignoring them? That would be a waste.



aaronjohnston said:


> This just got interesting  are your inner thighs very sensitive?
> 
> Sent from my GT-N7100 using Tapatalk


Yes:tongue::blushed:.


----------



## aaronjohnston

xdollie. said:


> Hell yes. What's the use of having boobs and then ignoring them? That would be a waste.
> 
> 
> 
> Yes:tongue::blushed:.


I like that thought very much. Is it sensitive as you get down round to the round of your bum  ? 



Sent from my GT-N7100 using Tapatalk


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## FallingSlowly

@_Wellsy_
- If you were in the later stages of a chronic disease that left you incapable of caring for yourself in the most basic ways without extreme effort, would you consider euthanasia?
Generally yes, but I can't say for sure. Too many unknown variables.

- What have you learnt from your experiences with people that has surprised you?
That they treat me well when I least expect it, and that it's therefore okay for me to give most people the benefit of the doubt. Makes my life far less stressful, too.

- How well do you like your steak cooked?
Well done. Like incinerated.

- Have you ever slow danced? If yes, share opinion of the experience.
Yes. I like it a lot, provided it's with the right guy 

- How do I kill Batman?
Is your name Sidney Debris by any chance?
If it isn't (or even if it is ):
You don't: He's the goddamn Batman! And if you even so much as tried, I would like you a little less 

- What does the phrase "Baby Spawning" make you think?
Wut?! 
Here's the kit I suggest:










- What do you think of the black border on my avatar?
Yeeeeaaaahhhh... I don't know how to say this, but I'm the type of person who doesn't even notice stuff like that if you don't point it out.

- What makes a good massage?
Foot rubs! Back rubs! 
Not being too gentle actually (you can reserve that for other activities. Mind you - not always please )


----------



## ai.tran.75

Wellsy said:


> Oh Lady Oracles, lend me thine ears.
> 
> - If you were in the later stages of a chronic disease that left you incapable of caring for yourself in the most basic ways without extreme effort, would you consider euthanasia?
> I support assist suicide all the way but I think that I have to wait for it to happen to me to know the exact answer - for the most part yeah I'll most likely considered it if my family let me
> 
> - What have you learnt from your experiences with people that has surprised you?
> 
> I gain more emotionally intelligent through my experiences with knowing people the most shocking for me is that : not everybody dreams in color, and that most of the introverts that I know appears to be more extroverted than I am when alone with them or with good friends but turns quite silent at parties or social situation -quite interesting
> 
> - How well do you like your steak cooked?
> Rare medium if that exists - somewhere between rare and medium rare
> 
> - Have you ever slow danced? If yes, share opinion of the experience.
> 
> Many times, but my favorite memory of it was shared with an Ixfp friend of mine whom I used to have the biggest crush on. He was visiting home from college( he goes to Brown University ) and we were walking around my neighborhood at night bantering , he then asked me about prom (I graduate HS the year before ) and I told him I didn't go - he told me he never went to prom either , then asked me to dance with him . I told him there wasn't any music he asked if we needed any music , them he put his arm around my waste pull me closer and we danced for 10 seconds before bursting out laughing - corny I know but it's a memory that I'm quite fond of
> 
> - How do I kill Batman?
> Ok first you have to map out a plan to steal his girls heart then you use that to manipulate him to death
> 
> - What does the phrase "Baby Spawning" make you think?
> The first thought that came to my mind are bunches of tiny snakes dropping out from the sky
> 
> - What do you think of the black border on my avatar?
> 
> - What makes a good massage?


A good massage- depends on my mood but definitely from my partner and involving hot oil, candle light and lights off; for the hands to be soft but rough at the same time- for the massage to be quick like less than 6 minutes- 
For him to start from my shoulder to neck then down my back and spine , I don't want my legs or foot massage though- it feels weird 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## ThatOneWeirdGuy

aaronjohnston said:


> I like that thought very much. Is it sensitive as you get down round to the round of your bum  ?
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my GT-N7100 using Tapatalk


Take it to private messages.


----------



## sraddatz

Cosmic Orgasm said:


> dey all yours <3
> 
> 
> Absolutely. Voluntary Euthanasia Ftw!
> 
> 
> 
> Most people are fickle, lame and full of shit. Though, that was hardly surprising. :3 What's surprising is that there are some astoundingly wonderful people out there who bring hope, strength and love into our lives, who compel and challenge us to grow, and they must be cherished with the utmost passion.
> 
> 
> 
> Medium-Rare
> 
> 
> Yes, and I hate it. All it's good for is its soporific effects.
> 
> 
> 
> Lofl it sounds ridiculous.
> 
> 
> 
> Frames it well
> 
> 
> 
> Happy endings


Know any good places for said "happy endings"?

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## sraddatz

I'm a huge music nerd. I remember life events by songs that were playing at the time. It seems there is a huge difference in the sexes in musical taste. What are some of you're favorite artists or bands? 

PS. Is bad taste in music a major turn off? I don't think I could ever date someone that listened only to rap. I can't stand that shit.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## HellCat

Wellsy said:


> Oh Lady Oracles, lend me thine ears.
> 
> - If you were in the later stages of a chronic disease that left you incapable of caring for yourself in the most basic ways without extreme effort, would you consider euthanasia?
> 
> - What have you learnt from your experiences with people that has surprised you?
> 
> - How well do you like your steak cooked?
> 
> - Have you ever slow danced? If yes, share opinion of the experience.
> 
> - How do I kill Batman?
> 
> - What does the phrase "Baby Spawning" make you think?
> 
> - What do you think of the black border on my avatar?
> 
> - What makes a good massage?




1. - If you were in the later stages of a chronic disease that left you incapable of caring for yourself in the most basic ways without extreme effort, would you consider euthanasia?


~yes in a fucking heartbeat. A nice OD in a hot fudge brownie sundae and a lot of wine. 



2. - What have you learnt from your experiences with people that has surprised you?

~I am amazed how they can come through for me whenever I force myself to open up. Which terrifies me frankly I would rather be in a prison riot than admit a weakness or vulnerability.




3. - Have you ever slow danced? If yes, share opinion of the experience.

~That is one thing a guy who wants to keep my interest better learn how to do. Its very simple. You can do a box step and twirl and dip. 

My favorite memory of dancing was with someone obsessed with me, very handsome charming, mad as a fucking hatter in highschool. Hotel california was on the radio and the song creeps me out. So he pulled me up and waltzed with me to it, the patio was lit with twinkle lights and it was very dark out and just stunning. 

I also only dated my ex husband when I met him because he grabbed me and danced with me, In fact every single one who lasted at least a month, danced with me. Interesting. 

I will also sing to them while they dance with me, I used to be a performer and I only sing for guys when I know I want to keep them around because they would always get a tad obsessed with me. Something about a girl with a personality like rambo who has a voice like a disney princess.. Now I only share my voice if I Love them. 

Your questions always force me to learn something about myself.


4.- How do I kill Batman?

~Seduce him and steal his technology, beat him at his own game. No need to kill him. Just a deterrent so you can commit your crimes with less resistance. 

A nice virus in his system would slow him down. Maybe trash the batcave. Murders for the uninspired plebian criminal. 


5. - What does the phrase "Baby Spawning" make you think?

the nintendo game with the giant baby and killer zombies. Yes its as awesome as it fucking looks












6. - What do you think of the black border on my avatar?

I am sure its stunning. 


*How well do you like your steak cooked?*

Medium rare. Pink/red with a seared crust. Mmmmmm blood

7. - What makes a good massage?

Petrissage, tapotment, effleurage, scalp massage with fingernails, face massage with gel masks or oils, a full body happy ending for the right man. I'm a natural born dominatrix, torture is my bread and butter.


----------



## Jennywocky

*If you were in the later stages of a chronic disease that left you incapable of caring for yourself in the most basic ways without extreme effort, would you consider euthanasia?*
yes, I would definitely consider it. It would kill me to be so deeply dependent on others with no hope of recovery, and I would also feel terrible at what I put them through.

At the same time, those kinds of experiences can perfect and purify us and provide opportunities of love and sacrifice (if loved ones are in your life), which I see as meaningful. So although I would consider euthanasia, I can't say I would do it. depends on the situation.


*What have you learnt from your experiences with people that has surprised you?*
That people are surprising. The predictable ones do things that aren't predictable on occasion. And the unpredictable ones can sometimes do the conventional. Free will / Volition, you know.

Also, that people can be very weak or very strong, and you never quite know until the situation occurs.


* How well do you like your steak cooked?*
Medium rare.


*Have you ever slow danced? If yes, share opinion of the experience.*
Yes. Wonderful. I like being lost in his arms and looking into his eyes, moving as one while the world slowly spins around and music fills my ears. Warmth, gentle touch, pulsebeats in sync. I can lose awareness of anything else.


*How do I kill Batman?*
Method 1. Shame.
Method 2. Five jars of chunky peanut butter and an enema kit.
Method 3. Wallpaper the room in flypaper, then blast air horns when Batman comes in. 


* What does the phrase "Baby Spawning" make you think?*
Salmon.
But... ewwwww. Just... too much like a baby factory.


* What do you think of the black border on my avatar?*
I'll let you know once I turn on my avs. 


*What makes a good massage?*
Bare skin, warm hands, firm grip. Sensitivity / responding to whatever responses the other person provides. A decent foot massage makes my eyes roll back in my head.



ThatOneWeirdGuy said:


> Do you ever just play with your boobs when no one is around?


You know, you're OneWeirdGuy. 

Yeah. Sometimes for fun, sometimes crazy stuff because I'm weird (like having pretend conversations between them).

But heck, sometimes I flirt with my cat and jiggle them at him. He just looks at me and gets ready to run.


----------



## ai.tran.75

sraddatz said:


> I'm a huge music nerd. I remember life events by songs that were playing at the time. It seems there is a huge difference in the sexes in musical taste. What are some of you're favorite artists or bands?
> 
> PS. Is bad taste in music a major turn off? I don't think I could ever date someone that listened only to rap. I can't stand that shit.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


I'm a music nerd as well but I listen to pretty much anything favorite artists/bands - bob Dylan , Joni Mitchell , the Beatles, stars, pin back , metric, jewel , third eye blind, radio head, sonic youth, rem, enya, offspring, etc


Not sure about turn off - but if they were to be listening to Bruno Mars or the glee soundtrack I'll be weird out
It is a big turn on when they have good tastes in music- 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

ThatOneWeirdGuy said:


> Do you ever just play with your boobs when no one is around?


even if i had any i don't think i'd do that lol


----------



## Wellsy

Do you have many funny moments where you reflect on the past and think there might've been a possibility that someone was hitting on you or hinting at something more but in the moment you were completely oblivious?


----------



## HellCat

Wellsy said:


> Do you have many funny moments where you reflect on the past and think there might've been a possibility that someone was hitting on you or hinting at something more but in the moment you were completely oblivious?


Man I am so oblivious to that, they have to be disrobing or trying to push me into a corner. I consider every guy a potential platonic friend. If they have an interest in me I don't get it until there is aggression and a lot of pursuit. Prior to last summer, I had never developed any interest before on its own. 

I developed my ability to help people be introspective and attempt at communicating with them in a normal person's way, by reading a LOT of psychology/self help/emotions/relationships/love feelings books. 

My prior communication with the opposite gender. 

Surprisingly so, nobody outlasted a month.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Wellsy said:


> If you were in the later stages of a chronic disease that left you incapable of caring for yourself in the most basic ways without extreme effort, would you consider euthanasia?


Yes. And I think euthanasia should be legal. Here's why: I don't think a person who is terminally ill and suffering should have to continue living that way. My friend's mother had MS and it got so bad that she couldn't do much anymore. She shot herself in the shower, and my friend came home and found her.

My great-uncle had a stroke and couldn't really take care of himself anymore. He also shot himself. My grandmother (his SIL) found him.

It shouldn't have to be like that. There should be non-violent, peaceful means of ending one's life.



Wellsy said:


> What have you learnt from your experiences with people that has surprised you?


Nothing surprises me anymore, unfortunately. I'm a writer, and I mostly cover unpleasant news, so...there you go. Oh, I guess one thing does still surprise me: dishonesty. I don't understand how many people can look right at a person they supposedly care about and blatantly lie to them. 



Wellsy said:


> How well do you like your steak cooked?


Medium rare. 



Wellsy said:


> Have you ever slow danced? If yes, share opinion of the experience.


It's been a long time. Damn. Now I'm a little sad. Thanks, man! :laughing:



Wellsy said:


> How do I kill Batman?


What? No, why? :shocked:



Wellsy said:


> What does the phrase "Baby Spawning" make you think?


I've never heard that term before. It doesn't sound positive, though. Is what the kids are calling child rearing now? lol



Wellsy said:


> What do you think of the black border on my avatar?


You have an avatar? Just kidding. I don't know. I can't see it while I'm in here typing...will have to go back and look. But I'm sure it is a very nice black border. 



Wellsy said:


> What makes a good massage?


VERY FIRM pressure. I have lots of knotted muscles from years of weight training.

Oh, wait. Maybe the right answer is "happy endings." Do women get those, though?


----------



## carlaviii

sraddatz said:


> I'm a huge music nerd. I remember life events by songs that were playing at the time. It seems there is a huge difference in the sexes in musical taste. What are some of you're favorite artists or bands?
> 
> PS. Is bad taste in music a major turn off? I don't think I could ever date someone that listened only to rap. I can't stand that shit.


I've been on a techno/house/d&b kick lately, so I'm biased toward the local (DC) dj's that I've been following. Soundcloud links: Traxiom. Confetti. Phaydn. RND. 

I've got pretty flexible tastes in music, so if a guy's really into something I really don't like... it's probably not going to work, sorry. 

@_Wellsy_ some random answers: 1. Yes. 3. Rare 4. Nope 6. I was involved in the childfree community for a while, so "baby spawning" has a very specific meaning to me. I try not to be that dismissive anymore. 7. Could be a point heavier.


----------



## Schweeeeks

sraddatz said:


> I'm a huge music nerd. I remember life events by songs that were playing at the time. It seems there is a huge difference in the sexes in musical taste. What are some of you're favorite artists or bands?
> 
> PS. Is bad taste in music a major turn off? I don't think I could ever date someone that listened only to rap. I can't stand that shit.


I like indie rock and alternative a lot. Also industrial and anything with a surreal instrumental/voice blend feel.

Bad taste in music is a turn off, yes. Is it a deal-breaker? I'm not sure. Depends on what else we have in common. And also us not driving long distances at a time 
I used to think it was a defining factor on whether or not me and another person will mesh. Then I met quite a few people who were fascinating and awesome on their own, they just never took the time in that area. Maybe too busy with other things like sports, multiple jobs, etc:. Didn't meet other people that introduced them to it either.


----------



## Snakecharmer

sraddatz said:


> I'm a huge music nerd. I remember life events by songs that were playing at the time. It seems there is a huge difference in the sexes in musical taste. What are some of you're favorite artists or bands?
> 
> PS. Is bad taste in music a major turn off? I don't think I could ever date someone that listened only to rap. I can't stand that shit.


Hmm, I like almost anything except country (exceptions are _some_ Waylon Jennings, Merle Haggard, Johnny Cash, and Elvis).

Checking my playlist...yeah, this is going to sound odd, but I've got:
Sleigh Bells
New Order
Depeche Mode
Duran Duran
Karmin
Talking Heads
Tom Tom Club
Bad Suns
Big Data
Arctic Monkeys 
Radiohead
Phantogram
*cough* Iggy Azalea*cough*
KT Tunstall
New Politics
The Smiths
Stabbing Westward (I met them and ah, that's a funny story)
S.O.S Band
The Strokes
RAC
Royal Blood
Queen (my favorite of all time)
Cage the Elephant

No real favorites, aside from Queen and New Order, I guess...

Bad taste in music? Isn't taste subjective? Hmm. Well, if someone was really into Nickelback, I might question their judgement...:laughing:

I'm not a huge fan of rap, but I dated a guy who had a rap record deal when he was younger. He still writes raps and he's got a great voice, but his lyrics...:shocked: He claims he could have been one of the first famous white rappers if his immaturity didn't ruin the deal he was offered.

I'm gonna shut up now


----------



## Snakecharmer

carlaviii said:


> I've been on a techno/house/d&b kick lately, so I'm biased toward the local (DC) dj's that I've been following. Soundcloud links: Traxiom. Confetti. Phaydn. RND.


Have you heard this? I'm hooked:


----------



## sraddatz

Snakecharmer said:


> Hmm, I like almost anything except country (exceptions are _some_ Waylon Jennings, Merle Haggard, Johnny Cash, and Elvis).
> 
> Checking my playlist...yeah, this is going to sound odd, but I've got:
> Sleigh Bells
> New Order
> Depeche Mode
> Duran Duran
> Karmin
> Talking Heads
> Tom Tom Club
> Bad Suns
> Big Data
> Arctic Monkeys
> Radiohead
> Phantogram
> *cough* Iggy Azalea*cough*
> KT Tunstall
> New Politics
> The Smiths
> Stabbing Westward (I met them and ah, that's a funny story)
> S.O.S Band
> The Strokes
> RAC
> Royal Blood
> Queen (my favorite of all time)
> Cage the Elephant
> 
> No real favorites, aside from Queen and New Order, I guess...
> 
> Bad taste in music? Isn't taste subjective? Hmm. Well, if someone was really into Nickelback, I might question their judgement...:laughing:
> 
> I'm not a huge fan of rap, but I dated a guy who had a rap record deal when he was younger. He still writes raps and he's got a great voice, but his lyrics...:shocked: He claims he could have been one of the first famous white rappers if his immaturity didn't ruin the deal he was offered.
> 
> I'm gonna shut up now


I could get into some of that. I think cage the elephant is underrated. My faves are the classics. Dylan, zeppelin, Beatles, Hendrix. All time favorite is led zeppelin. I have the fallen angel tattooed on my right arm.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## BlackShugar

Is it true that most girls just talk shit about people ?


----------



## Snakecharmer

BlackShugar said:


> Is it true that most girls just talk shit about people ?


Maybe girls do, but not women.

Wait - no. Even when I was a "girl" I didn't do that. I abide by the adage "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

I've never associated with girls or women who gossip, either. There's no room for that in my life.


----------



## HellCat

On that note, I consider the ones who just talk shit "eternal girls"


----------



## petite libellule

ThatOneWeirdGuy said:


> Do you ever just play with your boobs when no one is around?


yes.


----------



## petite libellule

BlackShugar said:


> Is it true that most girls just talk shit about people ?


No.


----------



## petite libellule

Wellsy said:


> Do you have many funny moments where you reflect on the past and think there might've been a possibility that someone was hitting on you or hinting at something more but in the moment you were completely oblivious?


yes. (but in reality no. I just pretend I'm oblivious)


----------



## petite libellule

sraddatz said:


> I'm a huge music nerd. I remember life events by songs that were playing at the time. It seems there is a huge difference in the sexes in musical taste. What are some of you're favorite artists or bands?
> 
> PS. Is bad taste in music a major turn off? I don't think I could ever date someone that listened only to rap. I can't stand that shit.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


I'm obsessively eclectic with my music preferences. I think the sax sexy as hell, and string instruments play my heart strings. I seriously could find something within each genre to love I'm sure.


----------



## petite libellule

aaronjohnston said:


> This just got interesting  are your inner thighs very sensitive?
> 
> Sent from my GT-N7100 using Tapatalk


yes.


----------



## petite libellule

Wellsy said:


> Oh Lady Oracles, lend me thine ears.
> 
> - If you were in the later stages of a chronic disease that left you incapable of caring for yourself in the most basic ways without extreme effort, would you consider euthanasia?
> 
> - What have you learnt from your experiences with people that has surprised you?
> 
> - How well do you like your steak cooked?
> 
> - Have you ever slow danced? If yes, share opinion of the experience.
> 
> - How do I kill Batman?
> 
> - What does the phrase "Baby Spawning" make you think?
> 
> - What do you think of the black border on my avatar?
> 
> - What makes a good massage?


1) yes.
2) I've learned who they are.
3) Medium Rare. (which means it needs to bleed a little)
4) Yes. It's dreamy w/ the right person.
5) Unleash the Predator.
6) Spiders.
7) Black Borders are stifling.
8) A licensed massage therapist! :tongue:


----------



## carlaviii

Snakecharmer said:


> Stabbing Westward (I met them and ah, that's a funny story)
> 
> I'm gonna shut up now


No shutting up, must have story. 

Hadn't heard of XXYYXX but I like chillout & downtempo too. Thanks for posting it!


----------



## Snakecharmer

carlaviii said:


> No shutting up, must have story.
> 
> Hadn't heard of XXYYXX but I like chillout & downtempo too. Thanks for posting it!


Ha, okay. I went to see SW at the 9:30 Club in DC in the late 90s. Sponge played that night too, and I was standing right in front of the stage. The singer grabbed my hand and told the bouncer to let me on stage (he invited a few other people up there too). So, I got to sing with them, but I didn't know the song, so I had to make up lyrics. LOL 

I became pretty good friends with one of the guys who worked there, and he used to let us sneak upstairs to hang out with the bands sometimes. That night we got to meet SW, and the bass player and my friend hit it off, so they invited us to their hotel.

I was NOT a groupie and nothing happened between any of us - we all talked all night, about all sorts of interesting things. Chris Hall (singer of SW) was pretty shy and quiet, but he did agree to a photo with me:

Don't judge my blonde hair, okay? LOL Tiny pic, sorry - grabbed from my Photobucket...









We became friends on MySpace about two years later and he thought that picture was mortifying: "What the hell was I wearing?"


----------



## Bugs

Snake , threesome?


----------



## Snakecharmer

Bugs said:


> Snake , threesome?


Are you offering?


----------



## Bugs

Snakecharmer said:


> Are you offering?


Yep


----------



## Snakecharmer

Bugs said:


> Yep


:laughing:

What did I just walk into?

I'm a one-guy kind of girl, man. 

I have a feeling you might get some other offers, though...lol


----------



## ThatOneWeirdGuy

Jennywocky said:


> Yeah. Sometimes for fun, sometimes crazy stuff because I'm weird (like having pretend conversations between them).
> 
> But heck, sometimes I flirt with my cat and jiggle them at him. He just looks at me and gets ready to run.


Omg the mental imagery. XD


----------



## Wellsy

Lady Rainicorn said:


> 8) A licensed massage therapist! :tongue:


Remind me to make an appointment.


----------



## Blazy

Dating a cop: yes or no? Why?


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

M-f-f?


----------



## Bugs

Snakecharmer said:


> :laughing:
> 
> What did I just walk into?
> 
> I'm a one-guy kind of girl, man.
> 
> I have a feeling you might get some other offers, though...lol


I'm the only guy


----------



## petite libellule

Wellsy said:


> Remind me to make an appointment.


Great!! ) I charge 65$ or 85$ for house call. NO PERV STUFF!! Only Sports, Swedish, Thai or Aromatherapy. 

And if you still want to be my client next year I should have my prenatal cert. by then in case you get preggo :kitteh:


----------



## cinnabun

Wh1zkey said:


> Dating a cop: yes or no? Why?


Yes, it would make me feel protected:kitteh:.


----------



## Wellsy

Lady Rainicorn said:


> Great!! ) I charge 65$ or 85$ for house call. NO PERV STUFF!! Only Sports, Swedish, Thai or Aromatherapy.
> 
> And if you still want to be my client next year I should have my prenatal cert. by then in case you get preggo :kitteh:


I'm not that creepy of a person to try and be pervy though you you might have some difficulty waking me up if I get too relaxed.
Awesome, me and my hypothetical partner are planning to try for one next year


----------



## ai.tran.75

Wh1zkey said:


> Dating a cop: yes or no? Why?


No , they intimidate me - not in a good way 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## carlaviii

Wh1zkey said:


> Dating a cop: yes or no? Why?


Yes with reservations, mostly because of worrying about all the things that could go horribly wrong on the job.



stargazing grasshopper said:


> M-f-f?


M-M-F plz...


----------



## sraddatz

carlaviii said:


> Yes with reservations, mostly because of worrying about all the things that could go horribly wrong on the job.
> 
> 
> 
> M-M-F plz...


It's not gay if it's in a 3 way.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## Snakecharmer

Wh1zkey said:


> Dating a cop: yes or no? Why?


No. 

I dated one when I was in college, and he was crazy. He stalked me after I ended things - he came to my workplace (a SCHOOL - I was a teacher) and bothered my friends and family.

I finally told him I was going to get a restraining order. He said, "Who do you think they will believe?" 

I know that's one case, but...I am a writer, and I cover news...and that includes a lot of police brutality stories. I know that there are some very nice cops out there, but...not risking it.


----------



## ThatOneWeirdGuy

What's it like to have a complex life form growing inside of you that somewhat parasitically feeds off of your nutrients and will one day be a thinking, fully-grown individual with his/her own personality?


----------



## aendern

What is your favourite part of being a woman that men probably don't experience?

Conversely, what is something you think most men experience that you wish you (women) also experienced?

edit:

There are no wrong answers, btw - please answer honestly and don't try to censor yourself for the sake of political correctness or whatever


----------



## HellCat

emberfly said:


> What is your favourite part of being a woman that men probably don't experience?
> 
> Conversely, what is something you think most men experience that you wish you (women) also experienced?
> 
> edit:
> 
> There are no wrong answers, btw - please answer honestly and don't try to censor yourself for the sake of political correctness or whatever



Lingerie. I love dressing up and I would miss skirts and heels. 

Being thought of as immediately competent instead of as a sweet little thing, or a bitch, or a bimbo..etc.

Just judged on what I say, my professionalism, passion for the work and competence. Not my symmetry/body immediately determining my personality, worth etc.


----------



## thatdennis

Question:
If a woman stops texting you without anything happening, or she doesn't continue the conversation, has she lost interest?

Do most women generally looks for protection and confidence?

When a woman touches you a lot, or always sounds happy when calling your name, is she interested?


----------



## loving2011

Snake charmer-how often do you see girls switching partners every few months or be open to having sex with anyone? I've ran into a few women like this, and they question me for being particular about who I sleep with. My brain can't take dating numerous people, boyfriend hopping, and what not. I want to be with one special person. It makes me wonder if I'm the only oddball that still wants a traditional relationship. Do you relate or do you think most women today are partner/fling hoppers?


----------



## cinnabun

thatdennis said:


> Question:
> If a woman stops texting you without anything happening, or she doesn't continue the conversation, has she lost interest?
> 
> Do most women generally looks for protection and confidence?
> 
> When a woman touches you a lot, or always sounds happy when calling your name, is she interested?


1. Most likely. It's either one of two things: she's lost interest, or she's just really busy.

2. I don't like speaking for most women, but I would say yes for that. Although of course it depends on the type of relationship and the people involved.

3. Not necessarily, she could be doing it without realising it. I've been told on numerous times by my friends that I'm flirting with a guy by doing the things listed above, when I'm not, I'm just being friendly. I'm quite a touchy-feely person, so it's often mistaken for flirting.


----------



## ai.tran.75

thatdennis said:


> Question:
> If a woman stops texting you without anything happening, or she doesn't continue the conversation, has she lost interest?
> Most likely but if she's anything like me she probably lost her phone
> 
> Do most women generally looks for protection and confidence?
> Not sure about most women but I usually prefer gentlemen - confidence and protection yes - arrogance and possessive no
> 
> When a woman touches you a lot, or always sounds happy when calling your name, is she interested?
> 
> This really depends on the girl. I'm very friends and playful - you need to focus more on how she is flirting with you - it's hard to explain - I hug, grab a persons arms and if I like the person (non romantically) of course I'll be excited to see them- all of my guy friends knows I'm not attracted to them though
> 
> Notes- if I like somebody I'll make sure they know- not the type to keep it in
> Or if you're the only person she touches and she rarely even talk to boys then yeah.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## ThatOneWeirdGuy

No one's ever been pregnant?


----------



## ai.tran.75

ThatOneWeirdGuy said:


> No one's ever been pregnant?


I have but I'm not the best example nor am I typical compared to most pregnant women

First trimester (12 weeks) 
Physically - exhausted, constantly dizzy , nauseated, sensitive to smell - can't even walk from one room to another without feeling like I'm going to pass out ;suddenly develop a fear of sweets and tropical fruits (which I usually love) , only thing I was able to eat was minestrone soup a vs triscuit crackers and bagel with cream cheese only thing I'm able to drink is orange juice 
Dropped 5lbs which is A lot - bc I'm naturally quite thin, didn't show at all

Mentally- well I still finished my first year of law school 

Emotionally - don't feel anything / knows I should be excited but don't feel anything 

2nd trimester (13-27)
Physically 
Felt extremely healthy - like more than normal
Can eat again though I have no cravings my appetite changed big time - I hate everything that's even close to being sweet and all Asian food . Start running and doing Pilates . Gained the amount of weight but barely show at all- nobody can tell that I was pregnant ,

Mentally - the same
Emotionally- knows that there is something inside of me , knows that I'm having a son, but still felt nada

Third trimester - (28-38 weeks) 

Physically - extremely active , able to eat anything - no longer picky . Still workout . Stomach grew but unless I'm naked - nobody can tell that I'm pregnant 

Mentally - scared to death bc I still felt no connection to my son inside of me, start reading books to him nightly regardless 

Emotionally - start questioning on whether I'll love my son enough or not , scared that I won't be able to handle it bc I've never even held a baby before in my life 

38 weeks 1 day - child birth - best thing that has ever happened to me- the moment I went into labor I know i would die for whatever was inside of me. Quite a miracle if there's such. Never thought I could be that happy or in love and surprisingly - every day that has passed by I love my son even more 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## carlaviii

ThatOneWeirdGuy said:


> No one's ever been pregnant?


 @Enfpleasantly has kids, I think... 

I've never been pregnant.


----------



## loving2011

thatdennis said:


> Question:
> If a woman stops texting you without anything happening, or she doesn't continue the conversation, has she lost interest?
> 
> Do most women generally looks for protection and confidence?
> 
> When a woman touches you a lot, or always sounds happy when calling your name, is she interested?


Sometimes, they're waiting for the man to text ...unless you ignored her last text and she assumed you weren't interested. If you asked a question and she didn't respond, then she's probably not interested or busy with her own life (as someone said).


----------



## Snakecharmer

ThatOneWeirdGuy said:


> What's it like to have a complex life form growing inside of you that somewhat parasitically feeds off of your nutrients and will one day be a thinking, fully-grown individual with his/her own personality?


It's absolutely the most amazing thing ever.


----------



## Snakecharmer

emberfly said:


> What is your favourite part of being a woman that men probably don't experience?


Being able to have two different kinds of orgasms.

Being curvy, and dressing to accentuate said curves. Wearing lingerie. 




emberfly said:


> Conversely, what is something you think most men experience that you wish you (women) also experienced?


Being able to just shower and go, no routine necessary.


----------



## Snakecharmer

loving2011 said:


> Snake charmer-how often do you see girls switching partners every few months or be open to having sex with anyone? I've ran into a few women like this, and they question me for being particular about who I sleep with. My brain can't take dating numerous people, boyfriend hopping, and what not. I want to be with one special person. It makes me wonder if I'm the only oddball that still wants a traditional relationship. Do you relate or do you think most women today are partner/fling hoppers?


Well, most of my friends are married. But I do have one female acquaintance I've chosen to distance myself from because she is quite promiscuous (in my opinion), and she texted my ex-bf and asked for sex - while I was with him. She didn't know we were together, but still...that really changed my opinion of her and I still can't shake it.

Anyway, I don't boyfriend-hop either - I'm a one-guy kind of girl, and I don't date around. 

So, you aren't the only one - I want a traditional relationship, and so does my sister...and the few single female friends I have do as well.


----------



## Snakecharmer

thatdennis said:


> Question:
> If a woman stops texting you without anything happening, or she doesn't continue the conversation, has she lost interest?
> 
> Do most women generally looks for protection and confidence?
> 
> When a woman touches you a lot, or always sounds happy when calling your name, is she interested?


I'm sort of old-fashioned in that I prefer that men take the lead. So, I usually won't be the first to text and will wait to hear from him. I have what some might consider an odd guideline I follow: if I text last, I expect him to text the next time...a back-and-forth sort of thing. 

But I'm a bit shy, so...I might have an unusual approach.

****

Protection? Not necessarily. I can take care of myself. But I don't want a man who is timid, either.

Confidence? There's a fine line...being self-assured, yes - being cocky, NO.

****

I'm not a touchy-feely person (unless I've been drinking). Sounding happy when I hear from them, sure, that's a good sign.


----------



## carlaviii

thatdennis said:


> Question:
> If a woman stops texting you without anything happening, or she doesn't continue the conversation, has she lost interest?
> 
> Do most women generally looks for protection and confidence?
> 
> When a woman touches you a lot, or always sounds happy when calling your name, is she interested?


1. Maybe she did. Maybe she's like me and if you didn't give her something to respond to in your last text, she was searching for a what to say next... and then she got distracted.

2. I don't expect protection, but I'd want my guy to have my back. Confidence, yes, within reason. 

3. Probably. Some people are just touchy-feely, though.


----------



## Wellsy

Do you check yourself out much?


----------



## Snakecharmer

Wellsy said:


> Do you check yourself out much?


Not really, but sometimes at the gym I will catch a peek at my physique, just to make sure what I'm doing is working...but that is because there are mirrors around the perimeter of the gym and it is unavoidable. I prefer not to look. lol


----------



## FakeLefty

@Snakecharmer

I can't help but notice how your name is a euphemism :laughing:


----------



## Snakecharmer

FakeLefty said:


> @Snakecharmer
> 
> I can't help but notice how your name is a euphemism :laughing:



:laughing:

I'm a certified hypnotherapist (not currently practicing), and a friend came up with that as a nickname for me several years ago. She's clever. :tongue:


----------



## sraddatz

Snakecharmer said:


> :laughing:
> 
> I'm a certified hypnotherapist (not currently practicing), and a friend came up with that as a nickname for me several years ago. She's clever. :tongue:


So do you know how to make the"snake" obey your every command?

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## Snakecharmer

sraddatz said:


> So do you know how to make the"snake" obey your every command?


Apparently not, since I'm sitting here by myself. LOL


----------



## sraddatz

Snakecharmer said:


> Apparently not, since I'm sitting here by myself. LOL


Boo! There are plenty of guys out there to use your charms on. Which leads me to another question: once you're not in high school or college, where do you go to meet men? Is it really as easy for you ladies to get laid as we men think it is? Or is it an issue that you figure every guy is willing, but you have to be selective?

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

sraddatz said:


> Boo! There are plenty of guys out there to use your charms on. Which leads me to another question: once you're not in high school or college, where do you go to meet men? Is it really as easy for you ladies to get laid as we men think it is? Or is it an issue that you figure every guy is willing, but you have to be selective?
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


No it's not easy imo for a lot women. It's really annoying guys say this because a lot of the time it's not true.


----------



## Snakecharmer

sraddatz said:


> Boo! There are plenty of guys out there to use your charms on. Which leads me to another question: once you're not in high school or college, where do you go to meet men? Is it really as easy for you ladies to get laid as we men think it is? Or is it an issue that you figure every guy is willing, but you have to be selective?


I'm at a tricky age. Most of the men I encounter are either married or too young.

I also think I'm a hard match. 

Working from home doesn't help. The only places I go on a regular basis are the grocery store and the gym. The men who talk to me at the gym are either too young or too old for me (one was in his late 60s - nice fella, though). 

I'm afraid of online dating sites after a scary stalker incident. 

I don't think I'd have any trouble getting sex whenever I want it, as I have an ex-bf who is obsessed with me and would drop everything to meet me if I contacted him (the narcissist I wrote about before). 

Selective? YES. I NEED a mental connection...and that's hard to find, at least with anyone nearby...


----------



## ThatOneWeirdGuy

Snakecharmer said:


> It's absolutely the most amazing thing ever.


Is it weird when you feel him/her move around?


----------



## cinnabun

Wellsy said:


> Do you check yourself out much?


*Posing in front of mirror*


Sorry, did you say something?:shocked:


----------



## Snakecharmer

ThatOneWeirdGuy said:


> Is it weird when you feel him/her move around?


Yes. I hated being pregnant - it was SO uncomfortable - but worth it.


----------



## sraddatz

Snakecharmer said:


> I'm at a tricky age. Most of the men I encounter are either married or too young.
> 
> I also think I'm a hard match.
> 
> Working from home doesn't help. The only places I go on a regular basis are the grocery store and the gym. The men who talk to me at the gym are either too young or too old for me (one was in his late 60s - nice fella, though).
> 
> I'm afraid of online dating sites after a scary stalker incident.
> 
> I don't think I'd have any trouble getting sex whenever I want it, as I have an ex-bf who is obsessed with me and would drop everything to meet me if I contacted him (the narcissist I wrote about before).
> 
> Selective? YES. I NEED a mental connection...and that's hard to find, at least with anyone nearby...


You need to get out more! 

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## Snakecharmer

sraddatz said:


> You need to get out more!


I will - moving to a beachfront condo in early June.


----------



## sraddatz

Snakecharmer said:


> I will - moving to a beachfront condo in early June.


Gulf coast?

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## Snakecharmer

sraddatz said:


> Gulf coast?


Oh my gosh, I wish! I live in MD - so it's a condo on the Chesapeake Bay, right on the boardwalk.


----------



## sraddatz

Snakecharmer said:


> Oh my gosh, I wish! I live in MD - so it's a condo on the Chesapeake Bay, right on the boardwalk.


Never been up that way. Furthest east I've been is Cleveland. Are you looking forward to moving? Is it beautiful?

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----------



## sraddatz

You should be able to have quite a few more dating opportunities there.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## loving2011

Snakecharmer said:


> I'm sort of old-fashioned in that I prefer that men take the lead. So, I usually won't be the first to text and will wait to hear from him. I have what some might consider an odd guideline I follow: if I text last, I expect him to text the next time...a back-and-forth sort of thing.
> 
> But I'm a bit shy, so...I might have an unusual approach.
> 
> ****
> 
> Protection? Not necessarily. I can take care of myself. But I don't want a man who is timid, either.
> 
> Confidence? There's a fine line...being self-assured, yes - being cocky, NO.
> 
> ****
> 
> I'm not a touchy-feely person (unless I've been drinking). Sounding happy when I hear from them, sure, that's a good sign.


Same here. Men that are serious about you will find a way to lead. Even though guys say they like women to make the moves, I've see many examples of women pursuing men fail miserably. If a guy is not initiating at some level, the woman may assume "why bother? He's just not that into me."


----------



## loving2011

Snakecharmer said:


> Well, most of my friends are married. But I do have one female acquaintance I've chosen to distance myself from because she is quite promiscuous (in my opinion), and she texted my ex-bf and asked for sex - while I was with him. She didn't know we were together, but still...that really changed my opinion of her and I still can't shake it.
> 
> Anyway, I don't boyfriend-hop either - I'm a one-guy kind of girl, and I don't date around.
> 
> So, you aren't the only one - I want a traditional relationship, and so does my sister...and the few single female friends I have do as well.


Thanks. Maybe the ones like us are just more quiet about it. I don't feel the need to tell everyone about my love life, but promiscuous peeps may be more vocal. While I go on a lot of first dates, I trust my heart on whether it's the right fit. If it's not the right fit, there's no need to continue just for the sake of not being single. Having sex with the wrong guy just to fulfill urges won't help anything either.


----------



## Snakecharmer

sraddatz said:


> Never been up that way. Furthest east I've been is Cleveland. Are you looking forward to moving? Is it beautiful?


It is very nice, but...it is party central this time of year. I went down there Friday night to check things out, and had a couple of beers with some friends. 

I have a feeling the party crowd is going to get old really fast...in a few weeks I'm going to be like "HEY KIDS, get offa my lawn!"

No, seriously - I might actually have a social life soon - because suddenly all of my old friends want to visit...lol


----------



## Snakecharmer

loving2011 said:


> Same here. Men that are serious about you will find a way to lead. Even though guys say they like women to make the moves, I've see many examples of women pursuing men fail miserably. If a guy is not initiating at some level, the woman may assume "why bother? He's just not that into me."


Yes - I think we are used to being chased to some extent, so we do think they aren't interested if they don't initiate contact.

I'm not an assertive person at all, so even asking friends to do things is hard for me. I have to work up to it, and even then I'm like "Uh, hey - I think I'm going to Vera's on Friday night, so if you want to go, text me."


----------



## Snakecharmer

sraddatz said:


> You should be able to have quite a few more dating opportunities there.


If by "dating opportunities" you mean "drunk ********" then yes. :laughing:


----------



## loving2011

Snakecharmer said:


> Yes - I think we are used to being chased to some extent, so we do think they aren't interested if they don't initiate contact.
> 
> I'm not an assertive person at all, so even asking friends to do things is hard for me. I have to work up to it, and even then I'm like "Uh, hey - I think I'm going to Vera's on Friday night, so if you want to go, text me."


There are many men out there that also don't recommend women to chase, if they want a relationship. If a woman likes to chase, I would recommend that she have a strong backbone for possibly being dumped, rejected or having a man that doesn't want to commit. When a man puts effort, you know he's interested.


----------



## sraddatz

Snakecharmer said:


> If by "dating opportunities" you mean "drunk ********" then yes. :laughing:


There are ******** in Maryland? We have quite a few here in Mo. You mean you don't want a man in a camo Duck Dynasty t shirt?

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----------



## Snakecharmer

sraddatz said:


> There are ******** in Maryland? We have quite a few here in Mo. You mean you don't want a man in a camo Duck Dynasty t shirt?


:laughing:

There are, but I'm just being silly. :tongue:


----------



## sraddatz

You wanna go to the tractor pull in my pick up truck. Just don't drink my spitter.

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----------



## Wellsy

What justifies an insult?


----------



## FallingSlowly

Wellsy said:


> What justifies an insult?


Nothing.

A heightened emotional state, or being provoked/insulted first might _explain_ it, and we're all human, so we all probably did it at some point or another.
I personally like to take the high road and walk away, even if I'm provoked. Nothing good comes from trying to do the same.

I'm of course assuming we're aware of insulting someone. Cases where someone was offended due to something we said without intentionally trying to insult is a different subject altogether.


----------



## Wellsy

How much quality time do you expect/get with your partner?


----------



## carlaviii

Wellsy said:


> How much quality time do you expect/get with your partner?


The whole FBs/FWBs rigamarole I've been putting so much work into -- the point of that was to get me some nookie about once a week. That was my wildly slutty, dastardly plan: once a week. 

It's averaged out to maybe a bit more than once a week over the months. Less than twice a week, though. And that's very much an average. It's a feast or famine situation.


----------



## Sina

Wellsy said:


> What justifies an insult?


An insult of the severely disrespectful or severely corny variety. :3

A lot of shit can roll off my back. If you take the time to throw stones at every fuckin dog that barks in your direction, that'd be a terrible waste of stone.  This is part of where I agree with @_FallingSlowly_. Baiting and provocation is something I am likely to give a haughty dismissal (it blisters major ass in no time flat lemme tell ya XD) or indifference in the vast majority of cases, but if someone makes it a habit, I give them a "reaction" they don't forget.


----------



## Animal

I'm very difficult to offend. I'm more offended by intention than the action.

What I mean is- if someone inadvertently "insults" me but their intention is to help me, I won't be "offended." I might just tell them that makes me sad or it hurts to hear - if I know them well enough to communicate. Or I might feel bad about myself, yet understand that they said this to help me or whatever.

If someone has the INTENTION to insult me or hurt my feelings, I'm not going to take the insult/ criticism seriously. I'll just think "This person is trying to insult me." And that shows me who they are, and I build a wall so they can't affect me at all. How I react depends on my mood and whether I would get a thrill out of toying with them or not.


I don't insult people intentionally. When I'm angry I go into Echo/robot-mode, and usually this constitutes spouting out various things they have said and done, all in a row, to demonstrate their hypocrisy. When someone drives me to this point… I become another person… nothing can touch me, and I have tremendous clarity. The interaction is short and sweet, and the other person usually ends up crying very hard. I've made grown men cry from this. In most cases, someone can know me for my whole life and never encounter robot-mode. If someone pushes me to this point, they are probably on their way out of my life. The exception being a confrontation that needed to happen, to jolt someone out of a repeated habit that was hurtful to me and other people involved, but after the jolt the issue was resolvable. 

Make no mistake.. robot-mode comes straight from the heart. It is what happens when I've attempted to address something nicely, many times, and the person continues to be a hypocrite. I cannot force myself into this mode. It comes over me, like I'm hypnotized, and suddenly I'm succinct, on point, untouchable, and I cut to the heart of the matter like a sword.


----------



## ninjamaster

How do girls feel about dating a bad driver?


----------



## Wellsy

Do you have a favourite story that you often share?


----------



## BlackDog

arkmabat said:


> How do girls feel about dating a bad driver?


Bad!

I'm definitely not who the question was directed at, but I feel strongly about that. However, I've been in a serious car accident so perhaps I'm biased. Legitimately bad driver might make me nervous. A careless or reckless driver pisses me off. Drunk drivers need not apply.


----------



## HellCat

Wellsy said:


> Do you have a favourite story that you often share?


When I was 16, I was an actress. My father the cult leader, who was just a normal minister at the time decided drama was evil. So I went behind his back and got the lead of Salome, my response to being told my one true passion was evil, was to strip naked to a nude bikini and make out with the severed head of John the Baptist. I was excommunicated from a normal christian church when they busted me after I did the show. Grounded three months and moved out the day of my birthday. 

I don't regret a minute of it. When I got caught that night, my stepmother and father, both very hypocritical "what do you have to say for yourself, how could you do this to us! "
"go fuck yourselves I am moving out on my birthday so have fun torturing me while you can"


----------



## Wellsy

LeoCat said:


> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> When I was 16, I was an actress. My father the cult leader, who was just a normal minister at the time decided drama was evil. So I went behind his back and got the lead of Salome, my response to being told my one true passion was evil, *was to strip naked to a nude bikini and make out with the severed head of John the Baptist.* I was excommunicated from a normal christian church when they busted me after I did the show. Grounded three months and moved out the day of my birthday.
> 
> I don't regret a minute of it. When I got caught that night, my stepmother and father, both very hypocritical "what do you have to say for yourself, how could you do this to us! "
> "go fuck yourselves I am moving out on my birthday so have fun torturing me while you can"


:laughing: The response gave me giggles, that's a nice figurative middle finger.


----------



## ai.tran.75

Wellsy said:


> Do you have a favourite story that you often share?


9 years ago I was shopping at the mall and i accidentally left my cell phone on the counter and left . A few hours later my mom called and a guy named Brian answered telling her that he found the phone - my mom thought he was a friend of mine bc his voice was really young and have him my house number and told him to call me. He called and asked. "How the hell did you lose your phone ? " I thought he was the most humorous person I've ever talked to, I still do bc that guy is my husband 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Wellsy

ai.tran.75 said:


> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 9 years ago I was shopping at the mall and i accidentally left my cell phone on the counter and left . A few hours later my mom called and a guy named Brian answered telling her that he found the phone - my mom thought he was a friend of mine bc his voice was really young and have him my house number and told him to call me. He called and asked. "How the hell did you lose your phone ? " I thought he was the most humorous person I've ever talked to, I still do bc that guy is my husband
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


That ending was sweet, gave me a massive smile reading it. Was like PLOT TWIST! I married him hahaha
To think all I had to do was ask and i'm getting these golden anecdotes.


----------



## Thomas60

For those who have or had a consistent 'look' / preferred style of clothing.
Have you ever changed your look and stuck with the decision?
Why?


----------



## snowbell

I'm back with another (silly) question. 

Now that summer is coming around, I've seen more and more people out and about in pants like this, in length or style. 










Do any of you tend to feel self-conscious or anything about wearing such? I mean, it is rather a lot of leg to be showing, and oftentimes they don't seem to be that much below a t-shirt. Are they comfortable / constricting? Is it fair to assume that if one has scars on their legs/thighs (even small ones) they might dissuade the person from wearing such shorts?


----------



## Snakecharmer

snowbell said:


> I'm back with another (silly) question.
> 
> Now that summer is coming around, I've seen more and more people out and about in pants like this, in length or style.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Do any of you tend to feel self-conscious or anything about wearing such? I mean, it is rather a lot of leg to be showing, and oftentimes they don't seem to be that much below a t-shirt. Are they comfortable / constricting? Is it fair to assume that if one has scars on their legs/thighs (even small ones) they might dissuade the person from wearing such shorts?


I wear those kinds of shorts.

They are very comfortable, and I work out hard in the gym and eat right, so I feel confident wearing them. 

I don't have any scars on my legs...mine are on the back of my shoulder (car accident, embedded glass), my abdomen (three surgeries), and my wrist (cut myself being clumsy recently).


----------



## snowbell

Snakecharmer said:


> I wear those kinds of shorts.
> 
> They are very comfortable, and I work out hard in the gym and eat right, so I feel confident wearing them.
> 
> I don't have any scars on my legs...mine are on the back of my shoulder (car accident, embedded glass), my abdomen (three surgeries), and my wrist (cut myself being clumsy recently).


Thanks so much! What about being self-conscious because of people staring at your legs?


----------



## Snakecharmer

snowbell said:


> Thanks so much! What about being self-conscious because of people staring at your legs?


I don't notice anyone staring at them, but I do get compliments sometimes. I sort of like it.


----------



## RandomUsar

Boxers or briefs? Hah!


----------



## ai.tran.75

GaiaInTurmoil said:


> Boxers or briefs? Hah!


Boxers 


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----------



## RandomUsar

ai.tran.75 said:


> Boxers
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


:kitteh:


----------



## carlaviii

snowbell said:


> I'm back with another (silly) question.
> 
> Now that summer is coming around, I've seen more and more people out and about in pants like this, in length or style.
> 
> Do any of you tend to feel self-conscious or anything about wearing such? I mean, it is rather a lot of leg to be showing, and oftentimes they don't seem to be that much below a t-shirt. Are they comfortable / constricting? Is it fair to assume that if one has scars on their legs/thighs (even small ones) they might dissuade the person from wearing such shorts?


I don't wear anything less than knee long in public, where it's shorts or skirts. I'm more confident about my body than I used to be, but I'm still fat by anybody's standards. I don't like drawing negative attention, and being fat in public can do that. Wearing anything revealing increases that risk.

Other things that will dissuade you from wearing shorts in public include cellulite, spider veins, and varicose veins.


----------



## carlaviii

GaiaInTurmoil said:


> Boxers or briefs? Hah!


Whichever he likes. Nerdy boxers make me smile, though, like the pair one FWB has with Pacman ghosts all over them.


----------



## BlackShugar

Do women like weird introverted men ?


----------



## carlaviii

BlackShugar said:


> Do women like weird introverted men ?


Yes. They tend to be weird and introverted ones, though...


----------



## sraddatz

carlaviii said:


> Yes. They tend to be weird and introverted ones, though...


Is it the mystery that is attractive?

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## carlaviii

sraddatz said:


> Is it the mystery that is attractive?


Mystery and the kindred-spirit aspect.


----------



## ai.tran.75

BlackShugar said:


> Do women like weird introverted men ?


As long as they're amusing and not scary 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## cinnabun

BlackShugar said:


> Do women like weird introverted men ?


Define "weird". Weird as in a little kooky, amusing and unique? Then yes. Weird as in being a 40-year-old male living in his mothers basement and never been on a date? Then no.



snowbell said:


> I'm back with another (silly) question.
> 
> Now that summer is coming around, I've seen more and more people out and about in pants like this, in length or style.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Do any of you tend to feel self-conscious or anything about wearing such? I mean, it is rather a lot of leg to be showing, and oftentimes they don't seem to be that much below a t-shirt. Are they comfortable / constricting? Is it fair to assume that if one has scars on their legs/thighs (even small ones) they might dissuade the person from wearing such shorts?


They are very comfortable. However, I'm very picky about shorts. I don't feel like I have the figure for short-shorts so I tend to avoid them. Hmm probably, but I do know girls who have scars and don't feel the need to cover them up.



snowbell said:


> What about being self-conscious because of people staring at your legs?


Depends who's staring. If it's a young guy, I'd welcome the attention. If it's a creepy older guy, I'd feel very uncomfortable. Ageist? Perhaps.



GaiaInTurmoil said:


> Boxers or briefs? Hah!


Boxers 5eva.



Thomas60 said:


> For those who have or had a consistent 'look' / preferred style of clothing.
> Have you ever changed your look and stuck with the decision?
> Why?


I dress according to how I'm feeling. I like my clothes to represent my current mood, so due to that, I change my look frequently. Why? Well, why not? Change is good. Being the same all the time is booooooring!


----------



## ai.tran.75

snowbell said:


> I'm back with another (silly) question.
> 
> Now that summer is coming around, I've seen more and more people out and about in pants like this, in length or style.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Do any of you tend to feel self-conscious or anything about wearing such? I mean, it is rather a lot of leg to be showing, and oftentimes they don't seem to be that much below a t-shirt. Are they comfortable / constricting? Is it fair to assume that if one has scars on their legs/thighs (even small ones) they might dissuade the person from wearing such shorts?


I wear shorts like that at home or when I run out to In and Out late at night to grab some snacks .im not insecure about my legs - I'm an avid runner and have 14% body fat so I'm quite fit- I just don't enjoy showing too much of them off either- i have a scar on my knee (I'm almost always in dresses) and I don't mind people asking about it - it tells a great story .
I'm quite conservative when it comes to skin showing in public - unless I'm at the beach/a swimming pool then I don't mind being in a bikini 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Sina

@sraddatz

"if you don't know where the clitoris is, google it..." made me LOL. :laughing:


----------



## sraddatz

Cosmic Orgasm said:


> @sraddatz
> 
> "if you don't know where the clitoris is, google it..." made me LOL. :laughing:


I learned in biology class in college.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## carlaviii

Diligent Procrastinator said:


> Will you let me cook breakfast for you? :happy:


Yes, please. I spent six hours at Skrillex's Mothership tour last night and _everything_ is sore.


----------



## Death Persuades

carlaviii said:


> Yes, please. I spent six hours at Skrillex's Mothership tour last night and _everything_ is sore.


roud: Just stay in bed! *cooks french toast and eggs and cuts up some fruit*


----------



## carlaviii

Diligent Procrastinator said:


> roud: Just stay in bed! *cooks french toast and eggs and cuts up some fruit*


<3 <3 <3


----------



## sraddatz

Cosmic Orgasm said:


> @sraddatz
> 
> "if you don't know where the clitoris is, google it..." made me LOL. :laughing:


It's kind of hard to explain. A picture is much better.



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----------



## FakeLefty

sraddatz said:


> It's kind of hard to explain. A picture is much better.
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


LOL :laughing:


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

> Using a star as an example, based on interviews and word of mouth from costars..Jennifer Lawrence is someone I'd describe as not knowing she's beautiful...she doesn't seem caught up in her looks...but, she certainly has dressed as a knockout and it didn't change my opinion of her at all.


Of course she knows she's beautiful; she wouldn't be an actress and pose for magazines if she didn't know that.


----------



## Snakecharmer

sraddatz said:


> I learned in biology class in college.


A good understanding of anatomy & physiology has served me well too.


----------



## sraddatz

Snakecharmer said:


> A good understanding of anatomy & physiology has served me well too.


Don't forget the balls! We like that. 

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## Snakecharmer

sraddatz said:


> Don't forget the balls! We like that.


And pay attention to the "F spot" (frenulum) and the "P spot" (prostate).


----------



## sraddatz

Snakecharmer said:


> And pay attention to the "F spot" (frenulum) and the "P spot" (prostate).


What are you doing Friday, again? Seriously! =-O

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## Snakecharmer

sraddatz said:


> What are you doing Friday, again? Seriously! =-O


Hmm, I don't have plans...LOL


----------



## sraddatz

Snakecharmer said:


> Hmm, I don't have plans...LOL


I'll be in Colorado on vacation!

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## sraddatz

Snakecharmer said:


> Hmm, I don't have plans...LOL


I think men in general are done a large disservice by not currently making use of your "talents". That said, we need to find you a good man.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk


----------



## Snakecharmer

sraddatz said:


> I think men in general are done a large disservice by not currently making use of your "talents". That said, we need to find you a good man.


:laughing:

I'm glad someone thinks so! :tongue:


----------



## JaySH

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Of course she knows she's beautiful; she wouldn't be an actress and pose for magazines if she didn't know that.



First off, why quote my text but not include my name so I don't get the notification? Seems only fair I have the opportunity to respond. 

Secondly, I explained it is a figure of speech. It doesn't mean the woman doesn't actually know! It means she doesn't choose to place importance on it. If I say a woman is hot, would you expect to shake her hand and get burned due to her having an elevated temp? It isn't supposed to be taken literally, necessarily! Why is this so difficult to convey so it's understood? 


Its about not caring and just being who she is regardless of her beauty!


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

JaySH said:


> First off, why quote my text but not include my name so I don't get the notification? Seems only fair I have the opportunity to respond.
> 
> Secondly, I explained it is a figure of speech. It doesn't mean the woman doesn't actually know! It means she doesn't choose to place importance on it. If I say a woman is hot, would you expect to shake her hand and get burned due to her having an elevated temp? It isn't supposed to be taken literally, necessarily! Why is this so difficult to convey so it's understood?
> 
> 
> Its about not caring and just being who she is regardless of her beauty!


i don't understand any of that if I'm honest.


----------



## doineed1

Hmm.. what are your thoughts on Me as a human vs your thoughts on me as a man.. oh snap. No really though.. are they different?


----------



## Wellsy

What circumstances lead you to your current or longest long term relationship?


----------



## ai.tran.75

Michaelthemessiah97 said:


> Circumcised or not XP


Don't care ? 


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----------



## michaelthemessiah

It is a valid question hahah


----------



## Zayel

Okay, my dear. I need the answers to the following questions, since they´ve been bugging me my whole life:

1) Why are women so obsessed with beauty? (I mean, yes, there are men also having this kind of issue, but let´s stick to women)
Many of them are just fine the way they look. Why all the make-up, beauty surgeries and the anorexic behaviour? Is it really just 
because the media says so? Then again, if people wouldn´t look so much at the surface and concentrate rather at the personal 
qualities... Well, what would happen then, I guess?

2) Why do women like to gossip? Specially, when they can backbite another person. It´s even worse, when they group together
and whisper suspiciously around...


----------



## ai.tran.75

Zayel said:


> Okay, my dear. I need the answers to the following questions, since they´ve been bugging me my whole life:
> 
> 1) Why are women so obsessed with beauty? (I mean, yes, there are men also having this kind of issue, but let´s stick to women)
> Many of them are just fine the way they look. Why all the make-up, beauty surgeries and the anorexic behaviour? Is it really just
> because the media says so? Then again, if people wouldn´t look so much at the surface and concentrate rather at the personal
> qualities... Well, what would happen then, I guess?
> 
> 2) Why do women like to gossip? Specially, when they can backbite another person. It´s even worse, when they group together
> and whisper suspiciously around...


Your first question - women likes beauty and dressing up in the same manner that most guys care about their hair - I'm guessing it deals more with enjoying to dress up, put on makeup and feeling pretty - than to dress to impress guys. 
Surgery- well some people like beauty and in all honesty if the plastic surgery gives them more self confidence and make them look better then perhaps it's right for them.
With all of that said -
I take 3 minutes to get ready and I rarely ever wear makeup ( unless you count Chapstick) and I can still run out the house in a dress (if anything fastest with dresses therefore it's the main thing I wear) even guys can't compete with how fast i am . And no I'm not a tomboy and yes I find myself quite feminine - (not all girls take long to dress up ) but nothing wrong with prettying up- my INFP BFF takes 2 hrs to do her makeup and dress up daily and she's the sweetest and most innocent and humanitarian person I know - she didn't dress up to impress any men (I've seen her without makeup with her bf all couple of times ) but she does it bc it's fun to dress up
And it feels nice. 

Anorexia ? That's not as common as it sounds - 1-5 % of people has it and it's an ILLNESS and should be treated that way- I highly doubt any normal women wish to be anorexic or as skinny as an anorexic person .
Eating disorder it goes both way- obesity is an eating disorder as well and just as dangerous and I'm quite sure it's not the media that makes people want to get that big

2) gossip- both men and women gossip. Just look at the male population of paparazzi and reporters chasing after celebrities and collecting stories. I guess women and men gossip for the same reasons except guys call it "girl talking" I can't tell you how many times I hear a guy call another guy label another guy who gossip " he's such a girl"
Gossiping and back biting are disgusting habits - and should be looked that way- instead of stereotyping it as a women's trait. Why do they do it ? I'm guessing insecurity or jealousy 

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----------



## monemi

Wellsy said:


> When have you asked for help?


When I was wearing something pretty and didn't want to get it dirty. I'm not typically good at asking for help but I hate to see good clothes get wrecked. I'm very attached to my clothes and shoes. 



Michaelthemessiah97 said:


> Circumcised or not XP


I can't actually tell the difference during sex and oral sex with a guy who's uncirc'd is the same as oral sex with a woman. Smegma doesn't bother me. 



Zayel said:


> Okay, my dear. I need the answers to the following questions, since they´ve been bugging me my whole life:
> 
> 1) Why are women so obsessed with beauty? (I mean, yes, there are men also having this kind of issue, but let´s stick to women)
> Many of them are just fine the way they look. Why all the make-up, beauty surgeries and the anorexic behaviour? Is it really just
> because the media says so? Then again, if people wouldn´t look so much at the surface and concentrate rather at the personal
> qualities... Well, what would happen then, I guess?
> 
> 2) Why do women like to gossip? Specially, when they can backbite another person. It´s even worse, when they group together
> and whisper suspiciously around...


1) Meh. I like pretty stuff. I wouldn't get surgery, but I like looking good. 

2) Men gossip. I've seen it enough times to know that men aren't any better about gossiping than women are. Somehow, it's acceptable when guys do it.


----------



## Wellsy

monemi said:


> When I was wearing something pretty and didn't want to get it dirty. I'm not typically good at asking for help but I hate to see good clothes get wrecked. I'm very attached to my clothes and shoes.


You make me laugh too easily monemi XD


----------



## cinnabun

Wellsy said:


> When have you asked for help?


In regards to personal things, I don't. I deal with those issues by myself, which usually does more harm than good.

With everything else, I ask for help right away xD.


----------



## monemi

Wellsy said:


> You make me laugh too easily monemi XD


With me, not at me right?


----------



## Wellsy

monemi said:


> With me, not at me right?


Well if you laugh too, always with you mang.
You don't really have misfortune to laugh except that one time when you were at a party and peeps be talking to you and you said you cant do two at once and the music stopped so everyone heard you and it was like a threesome joke, that time I did laugh at you XD


----------



## monemi

Wellsy said:


> Well if you laugh too, always with you mang.
> You don't really have misfortune to laugh except that one time when you were at a party and peeps be talking to you and you said you cant do two at once and the music stopped so everyone heard you and it was like a threesome joke, that time I did laugh at you XD


Unfortunately, that story has preceded me IRL. A lot of people have laughed at me and not with me over that one.


----------



## Sweetness394

Zayel said:


> Okay, my dear. I need the answers to the following questions, since they´ve been bugging me my whole life:
> 
> 1) Why are women so obsessed with beauty? (I mean, yes, there are men also having this kind of issue, but let´s stick to women)
> Many of them are just fine the way they look. Why all the make-up, beauty surgeries and the anorexic behaviour? Is it really just
> because the media says so? Then again, if people wouldn´t look so much at the surface and concentrate rather at the personal
> qualities... Well, what would happen then, I guess?
> 
> 2) Why do women like to gossip? Specially, when they can backbite another person. It´s even worse, when they group together
> and whisper suspiciously around...



1. Aside from self satisfaction I think people are obsessed with beauty because it is seen as advantageous. Whether you blame it on the media, the opposite sex, public opinion or evolution/biology, looking good can do a lot for a person (and I think I read somewhere that people who look better get higher pay on average, but alas I can't cite it >__<). I personally care about beauty, but generally it's things that have to do with the health of my body/hair/skin/etc. I have make up, I think it's pretty--an accessory of sorts? But I don't wear it that much because I would rather get 15 more minutes of sleep in the morning XD

2. I just think that certain actions carry certain attitudes when done by a certain gender. So girls gossiping is seen as messy, possibly catty but guys gossiping doesn't even get noticed. Likewise someone would give more thought to a man who tried to stay home with the kids, whereas mothers can more easily be seen as homemakers. (Okay, not too sure if that was the best example but hopefully you get my drift).


----------



## Hypaspist

Three questions : (brief and bite-sized for easy consumption)

1) What's more attractive? A guy who dresses to impress women, or a guy who makes everything he wears look like an Armani suit through confidence?

2) Has there ever been a time where you started talking to a guy almost on autopilot, just to realize that you've approached him without making a conscious decision to do so?

3) What's the obsession with certain women going out of their way to look as thin as humanly possible?


----------



## Lev

1)

Done through confidence.

2)

Of course, all the time.

3)

They have vested all self worth in an image and the misconception that being thin is equal to being worth something, if anything...

but the error is in the internal thought process, one's own confidence and security is invested in something that is tempermental anyways (image) - so they are always left wanting, and find themselves more and more thin in most cases...


----------



## Jennywocky

*1) What's more attractive? A guy who dresses to impress women, or a guy who makes everything he wears look like an Armani suit through confidence?*

Confidence.

*2) Has there ever been a time where you started talking to a guy almost on autopilot, just to realize that you've approached him without making a conscious decision to do so?*

yes.

*3) What's the obsession with certain women going out of their way to look as thin as humanly possible?*

I'm not one of them, but it's rather like #1 above IMO -- thinking that some kind of external/socially determined image can substitute for confidence and being fixated on it because it's something tangible and that you can get your hands on so to speak. ("If I do these things, i can be very skinny / be in control of my body, and if I am skinny / in control of body, then I can get the things i want and feel in control.") It's not a bad thing to be in shape, but at some point it becomes a substitute for self-confidence.




Wellsy said:


> When have you asked for help?


When there is something I realize I can't do on my own... or if I do try to do it, I won't have the energy / strength for other things I want to do. 

I am very self-sufficient and can do many things on my own, but I also am realistic and know when I can't. Also, sometimes I make space for people I care about (friends and family) so that even if I know I am capable of doing something myself, I know the shared experience will bring us closer together.


----------



## monemi

Naukowiec said:


> Three questions : (brief and bite-sized for easy consumption)
> 
> 1) What's more attractive? A guy who dresses to impress women, or a guy who makes everything he wears look like an Armani suit through confidence?
> 
> 2) Has there ever been a time where you started talking to a guy almost on autopilot, just to realize that you've approached him without making a conscious decision to do so?
> 
> 3) What's the obsession with certain women going out of their way to look as thin as humanly possible?


1) Really, it depends on the guy what he can pull off. 

2) Yes. I've gone on auto-pilot and talked to people without consciously deciding to approach them. 

3) They have eating disorders. Read up on it.


----------



## carlaviii

Naukowiec said:


> Three questions : (brief and bite-sized for easy consumption)
> 
> 1) What's more attractive? A guy who dresses to impress women, or a guy who makes everything he wears look like an Armani suit through confidence?
> 
> 2) Has there ever been a time where you started talking to a guy almost on autopilot, just to realize that you've approached him without making a conscious decision to do so?
> 
> 3) What's the obsession with certain women going out of their way to look as thin as humanly possible?


1. Confidence. The actual Armani suit doesn't hurt either, of course... 

2. No. It's always a decision, and an effort, for me. 

3. Societal pressure, self loathing, eating disorders. The sarcastic part of me is fairly sure women are deliberately put under such pressure to be thin/perfect so that we don't have any energy left over for asserting our rights as equal human beings.


----------



## BroNerd

My question!

If a girlfriend gives you the cold shoulder and won't tell you why she's doing it. What's the best way to approach that sort of situation?


----------



## Pom87

Do you ever feel like free-bleeding?


----------



## carlaviii

Pom87 said:


> Do you ever feel like free-bleeding?


It would make going anyplace outside the bathroom difficult.


----------



## Kyandigaru

BroNerd said:


> My question!
> 
> If a girlfriend gives you the cold shoulder and won't tell you why she's doing it. What's the best way to approach that sort of situation?


you said something or done something stupid. Give her some space and see if she willingly says the problem.


----------



## sraddatz

Naukowiec said:


> Three questions : (brief and bite-sized for easy consumption)
> 
> 1) What's more attractive? A guy who dresses to impress women, or a guy who makes everything he wears look like an Armani suit through confidence?
> 
> 2) Has there ever been a time where you started talking to a guy almost on autopilot, just to realize that you've approached him without making a conscious decision to do so?
> 
> 3) What's the obsession with certain women going out of their way to look as thin as humanly possible?


As a guy, I think the clothes you wear say a lot about you. It's not necessarily the clothes themselves, but if they are ironed and not tattered. There are minimum standards. How you present yourself says a lot. Shave everyday, don't wear clothes with stains on them, etc.


----------



## cinnabun

Pom87 said:


> Do you ever feel like free-bleeding?


Do you ever feel like having your penis bitten off by a wild animal?


----------



## cinnabun

TootsieBear267 said:


> I have a question! Why do women enjoy giving and receiving massages? Granted I love it when my girlfriend and I do it, but I noticed a lot of women love massages.


I do, it makes me feel loved, not to mention relaxedroud:.


----------



## sccountrygirl70

BroNerd said:


> My question!
> 
> If a girlfriend gives you the cold shoulder and won't tell you why she's doing it. What's the best way to approach that sort of situation?


She may be trying to figure it out for herself before she talks to you. Give her some space and a little time. If it's important she'll talk when she's ready. Sometimes we just get moody and realize it's for a stupid reason or none at all.


----------



## RetroVortex

It's always made me wonder when it comes to women, why so many women seem so resistant to get what they want, or just get to the point of what they want to say. 
Why is that? Why do many women act like their treading on eggshells all the time? 

I'm not saying every man is direct, of course not. (I know I'm pretty passive at times), but it just seems like most women act like they're just going along for the ride in life. Their reactions are so wishy-washy and hard to read into, like they're not really going out of their way to challenge or resist, or be proactive in grabbing what they like. 

It's like my mother, who's friends with another woman at work who's so wishy washy. I just wonder why she bothers being friendly at all to a woman who keeps changing her mind on who to side with when conflict occurs. My mum has moaned in the past about how this woman has irritated her, yet she still insists on being friends with her. Friends with almost everyone at work in fact.


----------



## carlaviii

RetroVortex said:


> It's always made me wonder when it comes to women, why so many women seem so resistant to get what they want, or just get to the point of what they want to say.
> Why is that? Why do many women act like their treading on eggshells all the time?


Because we are. Assertive women get a *lot* of push-back from the world. It's exhausting and makes you doubt yourself a lot. Coming at a topic tangentially, under the table, or passive-aggressively, cuts down on the drama.


----------



## RetroVortex

carlaviii said:


> Because we are. Assertive women get a *lot* of push-back from the world. It's exhausting and makes you doubt yourself a lot. Coming at a topic tangentially, under the table, or passive-aggressively, cuts down on the drama.


And that's kind of one of the reasons I don't make many women friends. Or even just struggle to approach a woman in general, because I can never tell if what they are saying is genuinely what they mean, or if it's just padded words and banter intended to avoid conflict. There's usually no "push" or "pull" action going there, and it feels like I'm interacting with town NPCs in an RPG. 

(Though to be honest, that's probably my fault at my lack of ability to read between the lines in what people say, and recognize their gestures. I'm unintentionally pretty brazen and honest about myself, but I also do have a tendency not to jump to conclusions these days because I realise many people aren't as open as I am, so I wait until I get 100% clarity. That being said, if someone I didn't like was talking to me, I'd be pretty blatant in my disinterest (sometimes gets me into trouble at work for being rude, but if I feel like they're being rude to me, I should automatically end up being rude back. It's like a reflex! XD))

I will also ask if that ever gets better with age? 
(because I just feel like, at 23, I'm not genuinely connecting to any women out there, barring the internet of course)


----------



## Wellsy

Ever fell in the toilet because you didn't check the seat?


----------



## ai.tran.75

Wellsy said:


> Ever fell in the toilet because you didn't check the seat?


No have you ?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Wellsy

ai.tran.75 said:


> No have you ?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Nope, I previously thought it was just typical everyone checked regardless.
But heard of people who lived in houses where it was mostly women or lived alone so the seat was always down and fallen in because someone left the seat up XD One of the funniest things I ever heard.
Poor ladies in a rush for the toilet.


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

Kyandigaru said:


> you said something or done something stupid. Give her some space and see if she willingly says the problem.


Why assume that he's the cause of his girlfriends behavior?
Yeah sure maybe he's an abusive asshole & she's withdrawing from the abuse, but maybe they've been dating a short time.
The issue could be that her best behavior is wearing off, he's getting a glimpse of who she really is & it will only get worse.

I wouldn't offer a guess based upon the very limited information that he offered.


----------



## Kyandigaru

stargazing grasshopper said:


> Why assume that he's the cause of his girlfriends behavior?
> Yeah sure maybe he's an abusive asshole & she's withdrawing from the abuse, but maybe they've been dating a short time.
> The issue could be that her best behavior is wearing off, he's getting a glimpse of who she really is & it will only get worse.
> 
> I wouldn't offer a guess based upon the very limited information that he offered.


whatever shit you're on Sir, PLEASE get off it....


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

BroNerd said:


> My question!
> 
> If a girlfriend gives you the cold shoulder and won't tell you why she's doing it. What's the best way to approach that sort of situation?



moved to PM.


----------



## cinnabun

Wellsy said:


> Ever fell in the toilet because you didn't check the seat?


Too many to count:sad:.


Men, please put the seats down, help prevent another woman falling down the toilet today!



RetroVortex said:


> And that's kind of one of the reasons I don't make many women friends. Or even just struggle to approach a woman in general, because I can never tell if what they are saying is genuinely what they mean, or if it's just padded words and banter intended to avoid conflict. There's usually no "push" or "pull" action going there, and it feels like I'm interacting with town NPCs in an RPG.


This kinda sounds like it's stemming from insecurity. Not saying it is, just sounds like it. Do you only encounter this problem with women?


----------



## cinnabun

Kyandigaru said:


> whatever shit you're on Sir, PLEASE get off it....


Omfg, I just lol'd.

Because seriously , wtf kind of response was that?


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

Kyandigaru said:


> whatever shit you're on Sir, PLEASE get off it....


Wasted keystrokes.


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

BroNerd said:


> My question!
> 
> If a girlfriend gives you the cold shoulder and won't tell you why she's doing it. What's the best way to approach that sort of situation?



Check this page out just for fun.
Is She a Crazy Bitch? A Quiz | A Shrink for Men


----------



## Flowerpot92

Wellsy said:


> Ever fell in the toilet because you didn't check the seat?


GAH ! I was JUST thinking about it yesterday ! My ex was my neighbor in our uni residency and we all had the same rooms, toilets, showers blabla. So I went to his toilets and machinally sat down. Only to gasp, fall and find my butt wet with toilet water. eeeeeek. 

Did my affair, washed my hands blabla. Then opened the door and called hubby. He asked 'why did you gasp?', I showed him the toilet seat, which was up. No reaction on his part. And then I said "I fell". And he laughed incontrollably.

I must admit it was pretty funny afterwards, but when it happened, I was pissed !! 

Funny memories.


----------



## carlaviii

RetroVortex said:


> And that's kind of one of the reasons I don't make many women friends. Or even just struggle to approach a woman in general, because I can never tell if what they are saying is genuinely what they mean, or if it's just padded words and banter intended to avoid conflict. There's usually no "push" or "pull" action going there, and it feels like I'm interacting with town NPCs in an RPG.
> 
> I will also ask if that ever gets better with age?
> (because I just feel like, at 23, I'm not genuinely connecting to any women out there, barring the internet of course)


I'm not much good at talking to or understanding women, either. They are strange creatures.

It can get better with age, though there's no guarantee. You generally find yourself running low on fucks to give and realize you need to save them for the truly important things. You also get more secure with who you are and you've established that "reputation" that people seem so hung up on.


----------



## RetroVortex

xdollie. said:


> Too many to count:sad:.
> 
> 
> Men, please put the seats down, help prevent another woman falling down the toilet today!
> 
> 
> 
> This kinda sounds like it's stemming from insecurity. Not saying it is, just sounds like it. Do you only encounter this problem with women?


I sometimes encounter it with guys too. But most dudes seem to convey that meaning when they say something. (with stronger body language usually)
(Or at least I can read it better. I mean you could be right, it could be just an issue I have due to some latent insecurity. Or maybe just inexperience with women. (I only really grew up with one friend that was a girl and she didn't act particularly feminine, and she definitely said what she meant and acted with purpose, and my mother doesn't act particularly feminine either, outside of stopping to talk to everyone she meets she half knows, and nagging at me for something I've forgotten to do! XD))


----------



## ENTrePreneur

Snakecharmer said:


> We can't help it. We were born this way. Just so full of awesome.


You especially, dear. :wink:



Bugs said:


> Not all of them are but the starter of this thread certainly is.





isingthebodyelectric said:


> I agree with Bugs. Not all of us are.


Oh dear. Am I generalizing again? I guess I simply spent too much time around INFJ ladies and starting assuming all girls were like them. I greatly apologize for my mistake. :wink:


----------



## intp_gurl

ENTrePreneur said:


> why are girls so attractive?


 because your straight. (I'm assuming you're a man)

If you weren't, you'd be asking a different question


----------



## ENTrePreneur

intp_gurl said:


> because your straight. (I'm assuming you're a man)
> 
> If you weren't, you'd be asking a different question


:laughing: Touche.


----------



## Leo Argent

This may be an odd question, but how do you women feel about body hair - and specifically chest hair?

I'm happy to get rid of mine if women don't like it. I just haven't bothered to get rid of it for a while since I'm currently single.

Basically, I'm just curious if there's a consensus about whether women prefer body hair or no body hair (as well as where hair might look good or bad). I figured I might as well go with the consensus for now.

I'm a bit of a perfectionist, so I want to look as good as possible!


----------



## phony

Leo Argent said:


> This may be an odd question, but how do you women feel about body hair - and specifically chest hair?


My boyfriend doesn't have chest hair and I'm fine with that. If he did have some I guess I wouldn't mind? I'm quite neutral about body hair.

edit: I've thought about it and I guess I prefer no chest hair.


----------



## Effy

Leo Argent said:


> This may be an odd question, but how do you women feel about body hair - and specifically chest hair?
> 
> I'm happy to get rid of mine if women don't like it. I just haven't bothered to get rid of it for a while since I'm currently single.
> 
> Basically, I'm just curious if there's a consensus about whether women prefer body hair or no body hair (as well as where hair might look good or bad). I figured I might as well go with the consensus for now.
> 
> I'm a bit of a perfectionist, so I want to look as good as possible!


Personally I'm a big fan. Neat'n'tidy, but very present.


----------



## Leo Argent

@phony
@Effy

OK, thank you both very much!!

Hm. So one of you is leaning towards "no chest hair" and the other one definitely likes it (so long as it's neat).

Sounds like there's no real consensus...for what it's worth, I definitely keep mine neat and tidy!

I guess I feel slightly awkward about it since my chest hair is mostly on the pecs rather than the area between them. So it always seemed like it looked odd. Of course, I'm a straight man, so what do I know? Haha! I like how women look so I can't really trust my own judgment about my own appearance.

I get the idea that I should just keep mine neat and then offer to shave if I start getting serious with a girl and she doesn't like it. Does that sound fair?


----------



## sraddatz

carlaviii said:


> Sure. Could use a hit of endorphins...


I'm "gifted", but not big enough to get all the way to where you are.


----------



## sraddatz

Leo Argent said:


> @_phony_
> @_Effy_
> 
> OK, thank you both very much!!
> 
> Hm. So one of you is leaning towards "no chest hair" and the other one definitely likes it (so long as it's neat).
> 
> Sounds like there's no real consensus...for what it's worth, I definitely keep mine neat and tidy!
> 
> I guess I feel slightly awkward about it since my chest hair is mostly on the pecs rather than the area between them. So it always seemed like it looked odd. Of course, I'm a straight man, so what do I know? Haha! I like how women look so I can't really trust my own judgment about my own appearance.
> 
> I get the idea that I should just keep mine neat and then offer to shave if I start getting serious with a girl and she doesn't like it. Does that sound fair?


I have chest hair. Men are supposed to have chest hair. Back hair, nose hair, and ear hair all have to go. Oh yeah, and you're supposed to have 2 eyebrows.


----------



## sraddatz

OK, ladies... I have a whole new question that I need your help with. Here goes.

My sister has been married for over 20 years. When she got married they were broke like everyone else. A few years after they were married my brother-in-law started to med school. He's been a Dr. for about 10 years and makes a shit-ton of money. And I mean a shit-ton! She moved to Mississippi about 4 years ago and has turned into a red-state nightmare. She has that Bible-thumping mentality, and has totally forgotten what it's like to struggle. She refers to the poor as "those people". I just have nothing to talk with her about. She lives in an entirely different universe. I actually find her quite repugnant as a person. Should I try to patch things up with her, or just forget it?


----------



## renna

Wellsy said:


> Ever fell in the toilet because you didn't check the seat?


I have in the middle of the night before, a couple times because I didn't check, I just assumed :laughing:


----------



## mony

Leo Argent said:


> This may be an odd question, but how do you women feel about body hair - and specifically chest hair?
> 
> I'm happy to get rid of mine if women don't like it. I just haven't bothered to get rid of it for a while since I'm currently single.
> 
> Basically, I'm just curious if there's a consensus about whether women prefer body hair or no body hair (as well as where hair might look good or bad). I figured I might as well go with the consensus for now.
> 
> I'm a bit of a perfectionist, so I want to look as good as possible!


On men, I love it. Just be yourself 

On myself, on the other hand, I hate it.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Leo Argent said:


> This may be an odd question, but how do you women feel about body hair - and specifically chest hair?
> 
> I'm happy to get rid of mine if women don't like it. I just haven't bothered to get rid of it for a while since I'm currently single.
> 
> Basically, I'm just curious if there's a consensus about whether women prefer body hair or no body hair (as well as where hair might look good or bad). I figured I might as well go with the consensus for now.
> 
> I'm a bit of a perfectionist, so I want to look as good as possible!


I prefer body hair. If I wanted to rub up on a smooth body, I'd be with another woman. :laughing:


----------



## mony

sraddatz said:


> OK, ladies... I have a whole new question that I need your help with. Here goes.
> 
> My sister has been married for over 20 years. When she got married they were broke like everyone else. A few years after they were married my brother-in-law started to med school. He's been a Dr. for about 10 years and makes a shit-ton of money. And I mean a shit-ton! She moved to Mississippi about 4 years ago and has turned into a red-state nightmare. She has that Bible-thumping mentality, and has totally forgotten what it's like to struggle. She refers to the poor as "those people". I just have nothing to talk with her about. She lives in an entirely different universe. I actually find her quite repugnant as a person. Should I try to patch things up with her, or just forget it?


I truly admire that you appreciate your relationship with your sister and wish to preserve it. That's not very common these days. 

That is a difficult situation. I would say patch things up and say call her every once in a while. I know it may be difficult, but you know her better than her husband and will be the person she goes to when she really needs you. One day, she might wake up from this fiasco and realize she can't act the way she does, but she will appreciate you caring for her and being patient with her.


----------



## Leo Argent

@mony @Snakecharmer

OK thank you very much! :happy: I guess I'll just stay as I am then!


----------



## Effy

Leo Argent said:


> @phony
> @Effy
> 
> OK, thank you both very much!!
> 
> Hm. So one of you is leaning towards "no chest hair" and the other one definitely likes it (so long as it's neat).
> 
> Sounds like there's no real consensus...for what it's worth, I definitely keep mine neat and tidy!
> 
> I guess I feel slightly awkward about it since my chest hair is mostly on the pecs rather than the area between them. So it always seemed like it looked odd. Of course, I'm a straight man, so what do I know? Haha! I like how women look so I can't really trust my own judgment about my own appearance.
> 
> I get the idea that I should just keep mine neat and then offer to shave if I start getting serious with a girl and she doesn't like it. Does that sound fair?


http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/dear-men-never-shave-your-chests

Just sayin'.

I'm going to give the same advice here that I'd give to a woman: it's your body, so you choose what you do with it. It's your business more than anyone else's. If you want to compromise to fit your partner that's great, but ultimately what they think shouldn't take precedence over what you think. So if you feel happier when it's there, keep it. If you feel happier when it's gone, get rid of it. Or anywhere in between. Other people's preferences are so varied that they're not really worth taking into account. More people than you'd think don't have much preference at all - or if they do have a preference, they may well overlook it in the moment. If they're seeing you naked, they're probably just excited that you're naked.

Stop worrying and you do you.


----------



## Leo Argent

@Effy

Thank you very much! roud:

I feel much better about myself! And I like the article! I'm glad that how I naturally look is actually attractive to girls :happy:

I don't know...I'll probably sound like a girl for saying this, but somehow even when girls say I'm "sexy" or "attractive" I have difficulty believing it.

So thanks again!

And I think I might return the favor by saying that your avatar is quite pretty! :happy:


----------



## Effy

Leo Argent said:


> @Effy
> 
> Thank you very much! roud:
> 
> I feel much better about myself! And I like the article! I'm glad that how I naturally look is actually attractive to girls :happy:
> 
> I don't know...I'll probably sound like a girl for saying this, but somehow even when girls say I'm "sexy" or "attractive" I have difficulty believing it.
> 
> So thanks again!
> 
> And I think I might return the favor by saying that your avatar is quite pretty! :happy:



You don't "sound like a girl" - it's a very human thing to be insecure about your attractiveness to others. That isn't restricted to one gender or the other.


My avatar is a picture of Kaya Scodelario. She's a real beauty.


----------



## Leo Argent

OK, that's good to know! Thanks! Sometimes it seems like guys aren't allowed to worry about their appearance. But it's good to know I'm allowed to be human too!

Oh haha! Here I thought it was a picture of you! I was trying to give *you *a compliment...I don't really keep up with actors/actresses much. I agree, she's beautiful!


----------



## entheos

Leo Argent said:


> This may be an odd question, but how do you women feel about body hair - and specifically chest hair


body hair --> must admit I'm turned off by hair in shoulders and back, sorry I wish I could control what turns me on/off because I relise logically that a person has no control over their hormones and stuff :/

chest hair specifically--> love it love it. In fact, lack of it makes me feel uneasy. It's a turn off for me when someone gets rid of it (sports, pure aesthetics...) I just don't like hairless chests or hairless legs or hairless armpits in men. I bet it's the animal in me who finds it "masculine" or something, it's so... unconscious and uncontrollable. I understand perfectly well that masculinity has nothing to do with what a body looks like, but still, can't control what certain bodies do to my brain. Hair-full bodies do good to my brain.



intp_gurl said:


> Why do women go to the bathroom together? Is it because you have to sync your pee schedule or to gossip in the restroom?
> 
> I don't do that, so whats the deal with it.


The only time I go with company is at the cinema and at home, when a really good conversation is happening. We don't realise we're going together haha, we're so immersed in conversation that we just gravitate to the same bathroom as we talk, and I just pull my pants down and start to pee, and we're still talking. I hate being forced to stop a conversation just because I need to pee, it's very inconvenient. This also happens at my house. If I'm talking to a roommate, they just come with me to the bathroom -or I go with him/her/them- and we pee as we continue talking.

In the case of night time and public places, it's a security thing. If there's no girl friend around I will actually grab a guy friend to come with me. If it's day time, or a restaurant, or lunch break at work, I go alone.


----------



## cinnabun

RetroVortex said:


> So you don't go there for drunken bum fights?


Only the ratchet bitches do >_>


----------



## Slider

I have been flirting with this girl for about 3 weeks.

We finally went on a date and I decided that I didn't find her attractive.

I spent the night at her place and made excuses for the horrible sex.

Apparently, she doesn't care that it was a total disaster, because she keeps asking when she can see me and kiss me.

What do I tell her? How do I tell her that I'm not interested without hurting her feelings too much?


----------



## ai.tran.75

Slider said:


> I have been flirting with this girl for about 3 weeks.
> 
> We finally went on a date and I decided that I didn't find her attractive.
> 
> I spent the night at her place and made excuses for the horrible sex.
> 
> Apparently, she doesn't care that it was a total disaster, because she keeps asking when she can see me and kiss me.
> 
> What do I tell her? How do I tell her that I'm not interested without hurting her feelings too much?


Tell her you can only see her as a friend, that you're not attracted to her, that way she'll have closure 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

Slider said:


> I have been flirting with this girl for about 3 weeks.
> 
> We finally went on a date and I decided that I didn't find her attractive.
> 
> I spent the night at her place and made excuses for the horrible sex.
> 
> Apparently, she doesn't care that it was a total disaster, because she keeps asking when she can see me and kiss me.
> 
> What do I tell her? How do I tell her that I'm not interested without hurting her feelings too much?


Be honest with her & then offer her a place within the Friend-Zone.


----------



## mony

Slider said:


> I have been flirting with this girl for about 3 weeks.
> 
> We finally went on a date and I decided that I didn't find her attractive.
> 
> I spent the night at her place and made excuses for the horrible sex.
> 
> Apparently, she doesn't care that it was a total disaster, because she keeps asking when she can see me and kiss me.
> 
> What do I tell her? How do I tell her that I'm not interested without hurting her feelings too much?


I agree with @ai.tran.75 and @stargazing grasshopper

Being honest will help her improve in the future. However, you should also ask her if she cared or noticed that the sex was a disaster. Perhaps it was a disaster for you instead of for her? We all make mistakes, but more often than not we do not notice them. 

Nevertheless, be as honest as possible so she doesn't make the same mistake again. Tell her you don't want to hurt her feelings but that the date was a clear indication that you two are incompatible as a couple.


----------



## Slider

mony said:


> I agree with @ai.tran.75 and @stargazing grasshopper
> 
> Being honest will help her improve in the future. However, you should also ask her if she cared or noticed that the sex was a disaster. Perhaps it was a disaster for you instead of for her? We all make mistakes, but more often than not we do not notice them.
> 
> Nevertheless, be as honest as possible so she doesn't make the same mistake again. Tell her you don't want to hurt her feelings but that the date was a clear indication that you two are incompatible as a couple.


Ugh.

I hate this part.

This is probably why I almost never end relationships.


----------



## ai.tran.75

Slider said:


> Ugh.
> 
> I hate this part.
> 
> This is probably why I almost never end relationships.


Hahaha I know what you mean - sometimes you just have to do it -a hand written letter would be more sincere 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## bknight554

Be blunt with me!

1. Chest hair: Leave as is, trim or shave off entirely?
2. I have a smooth face.. Should I grow a beard? I like the short trimmed beards and i think it may work for me ;-) - see HERE (Yes I have this jaw line and similar hair style)
3. Muscle wise: Big, tones, stocky or medium build? - I realise this is very preferential
4. Clothing stance: Modern or just well styled. what do you like?
5. Shower gel and smellies... Does the type of shower gel men use affect how you women "smell" and "perceive" men? Also, how much smelly stuff is too much / not enough?

Thanks peeps ;-)


----------



## ai.tran.75

bknight554 said:


> Be blunt with me!
> 
> 1. Chest hair: Leave as is, trim or shave off entirely?
> 2. I have a smooth face.. Should I grow a beard? I like the short trimmed beards and i think it may work for me ;-) - see HERE (Yes I have this jaw line and similar hair style)
> 3. Muscle wise: Big, tones, stocky or medium build? - I realise this is very preferential
> 4. Clothing stance: Modern or just well styled. what do you like?
> 5. Shower gel and smellies... Does the type of shower gel men use affect how you women "smell" and "perceive" men? Also, how much smelly stuff is too much / not enough?
> 
> Thanks peeps ;-)


Oh no really ?hmm this is so physical(most of my crushes are develop through what charmed my ears )

Chest hair - a little is fine (if you're cuddly) if you're lean or thin then shave it (my preference is quite differ from most )

2) depends - if you are artistic or dreamy I love facial hair and prefer facial hair - if you're more down to earth I like shave off

3) tone/lean/thin or soft average cuddly 
Muscle scares me 

4) hmm I like it when a guy dresses in layers - jacket over a plaid dress shirt and jeans. If he's flirty looking I like left ear pierce . 

5) I'm extremely turn on ( I actually get turn on) by the smell of polo sport cologne 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## carlaviii

bknight554 said:


> 1. Chest hair: Leave as is, trim or shave off entirely?
> 2. I have a smooth face.. Should I grow a beard? I like the short trimmed beards and i think it may work for me ;-) - see HERE (Yes I have this jaw line and similar hair style)
> 3. Muscle wise: Big, tones, stocky or medium build? - I realise this is very preferential
> 4. Clothing stance: Modern or just well styled. what do you like?
> 5. Shower gel and smellies... Does the type of shower gel men use affect how you women "smell" and "perceive" men? Also, how much smelly stuff is too much / not enough?


1. Leave as is unless you are in fact a yeti. 
2. I'm a beard fan, so I will always say go for it. 
3. IMO, just don't go overboard with the bodybuilding. 
4. Well styled: properly fit, half an eye on color co-ordination, clean and neat. 
5. Yes, it does. Personally, I prefer spicy/woodsy scents and I don't mind if a guy has been sweating a bit. If humans were meant to always smell like flowers and mint, we would already, you know? Too much: if I can smell you from a foot away or more.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

carlaviii said:


> 5. Yes, it does. Personally, I prefer spicy/woodsy scents and I don't mind if a guy has been sweating a bit. If humans were meant to always smell like flowers and mint, we would already, you know? Too much: if I can smell you from a foot away or more.


Make sure scents reach a maximum distance of 11 inches from my body.

Noted.


----------



## mony

Slider said:


> Ugh.
> 
> I hate this part.
> 
> This is probably why I almost never end relationships.


I know, I know...it sucks. The sooner you get it over with now, the sooner you can move on with your life. People also need wake up calls, so you are doing her a favor. I don't want to be with someone who is not interested in me or I'm not interested in. Who does?Don't be scared, just say it how it is and be done with it.

But...if she is willing to change and you want to give her a second chance, then go for it. If not, move on.


----------



## Slider

mony said:


> I know, I know...it sucks. The sooner you get it over with now, the sooner you can move on with your life. People also need wake up calls, so you are doing her a favor. I don't want to be with someone who is not interested in me or I'm not interested in. Who does?Don't be scared, just say it how it is and be done with it.
> 
> But...if she is willing to change and you want to give her a second chance, then go for it. If not, move on.


...except I don't find anything about her attractive or interesting.

I think I'll move on.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

Slider said:


> ...except I don't find anything about her attractive or interesting.
> 
> I think I'll move on.


Men.


----------



## Slider

ENTrePreneur said:


> Men.


We're bastards.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

Slider said:


> We're bastards.


Hey! Don't be sexist. :kitteh:


----------



## mony

Slider said:


> ...except I don't find anything about her attractive or interesting.
> 
> I think I'll move on.


You seem to be the type of person who knows exactly what you want. That's good, it saves time.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Slider said:


> I have been flirting with this girl for about 3 weeks.
> 
> We finally went on a date and I decided that I didn't find her attractive.
> 
> I spent the night at her place and made excuses for the horrible sex.
> 
> Apparently, she doesn't care that it was a total disaster, because she keeps asking when she can see me and kiss me.
> 
> What do I tell her? How do I tell her that I'm not interested without hurting her feelings too much?


Why did you decide to lead her on and use her for sex if you didn't even like her?


----------



## ENTrePreneur

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Why did you decide to lead her on and use her for sex if you didn't even like her?


:shocked: Plagiarism! Those are my thoughts!


ENTrePreneur said:


> Men.


----------



## Slider

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Why did you decide to lead her on and use her for sex if you didn't even like her?


I didn't climax.

Pretty sure she used me for sex.

I just wanted to go to sleep.

*edit*

She just sent me a text and is cool with being friends. Whew.

She also wanted to know if I had "enjoyed myself."

I lied and said, "Yep. I had fun."


----------



## carlaviii

bknight554 said:


> 1. Do you make yourself and your intentions known when flirting with guys? Can you prove this?
> 2. Are scars on a Mans face sexy? or are they a turn off?
> 3. How do you signal that you are interested in a man?
> 4. Attraction: Mind or Body or Neither?
> 5. How long does it take for you to open up to a Man you've gotten a little more serious with. (Ie 2 dates and kissing etc)
> 6. Generally when Women don't like a guy, why don't they just come out and say rather than A) not replying or B) Stringing him on?
> 7. Money / Looks / Brains?
> 8. In your own words, based on your life perception.. How would you want to be approached today, and where would that approach work best? Also, where do you frequent?
> Thanks Girlies :-3


1. Prove it how?
2. They're a story and I want to hear it
3. I'm attentive and involved in the conversation, sit/stand close by, maybe a little casual touching
4. Mind, then body. 
5. Several dates and seeing *him* starting to open up. 
6. Because men can take it badly and there's a long history of them taking it out on the woman who rejected them. 
7. Brains, looks, then money
8. I want to be approached intellectually with a dash of playfulness, based on common interests. Where...? (shrugs) When I'm on the prowl, I'm generally on OKCupid. Traditional real-world places, i.e. the meat market, don't work so well for me. I'd be stunned if someone actually approached me at a club or something.


----------



## entheos

bknight554 said:


> 1. Do you make yourself and your intentions known when flirting with guys? Can you prove this?
> 
> 2. Are scars on a Mans face sexy? or are they a turn off?
> 
> 3. How do you signal that you are interested in a man?
> 
> 4. Attraction: Mind or Body or Neither?
> 
> 5. How long does it take for you to open up to a Man you've gotten a little more serious with. (Ie 2 dates and kissing etc)
> 
> 6. Generally when Women don't like a guy, why don't they just come out and say rather than A) not replying or B) Stringing him on?
> 
> 7. Money / Looks / Brains?
> 
> 8. In your own words, based on your life perception.. How would you want to be approached today, and where would that approach work best? Also, where do you frequent?


1. I never flirt with strangers, only with people I'm actually pursuing for a serious relationship, which rarely happens cause I never like anybody. Do I make my intentions obvious? Yes, I tell them to their face that I like them, I'm blunt when I like someone. First I tell them that I like them, and if they blush and don't do anything, including they don't openly reject me, _then_ I'll start with the flirting. I just can't flirt without telling them the reason, I feel... stupid.

2. Depends how it looks. It's not a black & white thing 

3. I actually make prolongued eye contact when we're talking, and I do it consciously. I never look people in the eyes for more than 3 seconds when we're talking, it just doesn't happen. So in order to signal, I go out of my comfort zone. But honestly, I just tell them that I like them, I don't really signal much with body language. I wait for them to signal to me, and if I think they might like me, then I go and throw my cards on the table for them to see. Sometimes I read the signals wrong and that's okay.

4. Both. But you're leaving the heart out of the equation! It has to be heart, mind, body, in that order. But if one ingredient is missing then I'm not wasting my time, honestly. I'm an extremist. All or nothing. I have other things to do in life than pursue someone that doesn't convince me too much.

5. Depends how we met. Ime, I open up on date 1 because I only fall for my friends. So it's simply a matter of taking the relationship a step further, and by that time I go balls to the wall. I don't date random people _seriously_, but I do go on dates with random people. I'm an intense person, which means that even when I go on dates with random men I've just met, I'll be talking about my fears and hopes and dreams on date 1. Needless to say, they bore me cause they don't share anything interesting about themselves, it's all about how much money they make. I can't do superficiality and small talk, I just can't. I start with the "serious"/"profound" stuff on minute one. But that to me is not opening up, that's just normal conversation. If we make it to date 3, it ill be just more of what he tasted on date 1, a continuation. I don't consciously decide to open up, I just walk the intense route naturally.

6. It's not a women thing. Men do _exactly_ that to me. And I don't behave like that. I reply always, and reach out and explain, I'm very communicative. Why do some other women do that? I dunno. Why do men do it? Same thing. Each person has their own reasons.

7. Brains and looks together. Brains if we're going to be friends only.

8. On the internet, that's where I met all my dates, and most importantly my latest date (best date eveeer!!!) but we're only friends, nothing going on. We just couldn't stop talking, like long lost friends. So internet is brilliant. In other scenarios, a small social event such as a course or a bookclub or somewhere where we're both participating. I don't like to be aproached randomly, like in cafes or parties, it doesn't make sense to me why a random person would aproach me and I'd get defensive and close myself off. The only strangers I don't get defensive with is people like baristas, because you go to the same place often enough and you have chit-chat and it's like you sort of know them. In other words, I like being aproached by people I've seen repeatedly through time in public spaces, people that aren't complete strangers. It just doesn't make sense when a stranger aproaches you. It's uncomfortable.
Where do I frequent? The beach, bookclubs, classes, group activities via meetup.com, okcupid, PerC, facebook groups, and friends' houses...


----------



## ai.tran.75

bknight554 said:


> 1. Do you make yourself and your intentions known when flirting with guys? Can you prove this?
> 
> Yes I do , most of the time I'll send a really reserve vibe if I'm not attracted to you - the flirtation is still there but it's quite obvious that I'm not serious (i have never lead a person on or given the wrong message through flirting before )
> 
> If I like somebody - I'll alternate moods from serious to playful , I'll walk closer and I'll make sure the person knows that I'm attracted to them with my subtle cue.
> 
> If I don't like somebody and I sense that they're attracted to me - I won't flirt at all or I'll call them buddy
> 
> 2. Are scars on a Mans face sexy? or are they a turn off?
> Depends on how big the scar is and what type of look the guy carries( that sounds superficial sorry but I'm speaking strictly from a physical pov)
> 
> 
> 3. How do you signal that you are interested in a man?
> 
> I laugh more , I touch them , I sit closer to them, whisper in their ear,
> Joke around saying " I like you !"
> The last time I act this way was when I'm 19 though -
> 
> 4. Attraction: Mind or Body or Neither?
> 
> Chemistry connection . I don't want to say mind or body bc I don't know what attracts me to a person , there are many brilliant and gorgeous men in my life that I felt no attraction to at all / so I'll go with "connection"
> 
> However once the relationship develops and I get to know the person - then mind and emotion will occur
> 
> I never really paid much attention to looks - I think with women we like what we hear - so add charisma and charms into the
> 
> 5. How long does it take for you to open up to a Man you've gotten a little more serious with. (Ie 2 dates and kissing etc)
> 
> It took my partner 2 weeks to make out with me and I shoved him off the first time saying " no"
> I've only been in one sexual relationship (same guy for the last 9 years )
> 
> Quite sure my mind will change now but theory still applies I wouldn't hold hand with somebody unless they're my bf . I don't date (don't care if others do however )
> 
> 6. Generally when Women don't like a guy, why don't they just come out and say rather than A) not replying or B) Stringing him on?
> 
> I find this irritating. I've been in situation where I tell the guy I only see them as a friend - yet they think they could change my mind - so I ignore them all in general it's not call leading on
> 
> As to not replying and stringing along i can only guess that they're doing it bc they're assholes or maybe they're stupid and trying not to hurt your feelings
> 
> 7. Money / Looks / Brains?
> 
> First 5 seconds impression- looks
> 
> Over time brain
> 
> Think I answered this before I need connection
> 
> 8. In your own words, based on your life perception.. How would you want to be approached today, and where would that approach work best? Also, where do you frequent?
> 
> I'm married - haha so none
> 
> but if I'm single I guess I would enjoy it if I met somebody at the book store or at the park, or charity events - onto how - I like casual approach - like I'm not sure if he likes me or he finds what I'm saying amusing
> Most frequent I would say friends parties or online dating sites
> 
> 
> Thanks Girlies :-3


In quotes 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## HellCat

bknight554 said:


> 1. Do you make yourself and your intentions known when flirting with guys? Can you prove this?
> 
> 2. Are scars on a Mans face sexy? or are they a turn off?
> 
> 3. How do you signal that you are interested in a man?
> 
> 4. Attraction: Mind or Body or Neither?
> 
> 5. How long does it take for you to open up to a Man you've gotten a little more serious with. (Ie 2 dates and kissing etc)
> 
> 6. Generally when Women don't like a guy, why don't they just come out and say rather than A) not replying or B) Stringing him on?
> 
> 7. Money / Looks / Brains?
> 
> 8. In your own words, based on your life perception.. How would you want to be approached today, and where would that approach work best? Also, where do you frequent?
> 
> Thanks Girlies :-3



1. I rarely flirt. They chase me. 

2. sexy. I want to know how they got them. 

3. I rarely am but in the last case I wanted to chew on their brain for hours. 

4. Both are a necessity. Also spirit. Plenty of guys are witty and intelligent and perfectly symmetrical but have nasty spirits. No. just No. I will leave them for the maggot brained goldfish girls out there.

5. Depends on who. I can fuck guys I don't really trust for years and open up to someone who I connect with immediately. The latter has only happened once so far.

6. I do. I am very blunt..too truthful, gets me in trouble all the time. For the others, I would say cowardice or using them for something, personally. 

7. Brains. Money is fleeting and looks well, the more you are exposed to something the more one takes it for granted so beauty only goes so far in a long term relationship. Whereas every flaw physically can become something precious to your beloved.

I don't want to be. In the past the first thing I would start asking is favorite author, film etc. To get a feel for someones true self. I don't care about materialistic things. I care if I will be bored by your lack of passion for knowledge and a witless wonder who thinks his looks and money can buy him off someone not only attractive but "interesting" and good for dinner parties.


----------



## bknight554

Thanks Ladies, all of this has been very helpful! I'm a genuine guy, so I guess I should fair well on the field ;-)


----------



## Snakecharmer

bknight554 said:


> 1. Do you make yourself and your intentions known when flirting with guys? Can you prove this?


I'm pretty reserved, I think. But then, I don't go out and flirt with men, so...



bknight554 said:


> 2. Are scars on a Mans face sexy? or are they a turn off?


Very sexy. I like to touch and explore faces and appreciate uniqueness. 



bknight554 said:


> 3. How do you signal that you are interested in a man?


If I take the time to talk to him on a regular basis, odds are I'm interested in some way (could be just as friends, though). I don't over-think it and just let things happen.



bknight554 said:


> 4. Attraction: Mind or Body or Neither?


Mind first. My last LTR was with a guy I "met" online first, on a weightlifting forum. We gradually developed a relationship online, then moved to phone, and after a couple of months, we met in person. That relationship lasted 6 years. Oh - he was about 60 lbs overweight, but I didn't know until we met...and didn't care. The only picture I saw of him prior to meeting was of his eyes, but it didn't matter...I was already totally into him based on his personality. 

A similar thing happened with my current relationship. I fell for @Bugs based on his mind and personality first...the physical chemistry I have with him is just bonus. :wink:



bknight554 said:


> 5. How long does it take for you to open up to a Man you've gotten a little more serious with. (Ie 2 dates and kissing etc)


It really depends. What do you mean by "open up"? Emotional openness isn't usually my thing, but I'm fine with being open about my thoughts on issues and non-personal things. It takes a serious connection for me to open up emotionally - and even then, it is rare.



bknight554 said:


> 6. Generally when Women don't like a guy, why don't they just come out and say rather than A) not replying or B) Stringing him on?


I don't string people along. I'll just say outright that I would prefer to just be friends. If I don't like the guy at ALL (not even as a friend), I'll say that too. lol



bknight554 said:


> 7. Money / Looks / Brains?


Brains. Beauty fades, but stupid lasts forever. And I have my own money.



bknight554 said:


> 8. In your own words, based on your life perception.. How would you want to be approached today, and where would that approach work best? Also, where do you frequent?


Well, I'm not available, but when I was single I liked starting off with good conversation and seeing if anything grew from there.



bknight554 said:


> Thanks Girlies :-3


Anytime!


----------



## jacksonmic

what physically i can't understand


----------



## conscius

What a peculiar title. What makes you specially representative of the three and a half billion women, to be speaking on their behalf? Please photocopy your womanness documents, your passport, including appropriate pictures of genitalia and eyebrows and your purse, your seminal articles and books on wommaness and feminineness...double spaced and spellchecked (unlike me), and post them here. Thank you.


----------



## baby blue me

*1. Do you make yourself and your intentions known when flirting with guys? Can you prove this?*
Not intentionally most of the time but they show anyway. Proof? The way I look at him, the way I stroke my neck when with him, the things I say and do not say, and similar things. 

*2. Are scars on a Mans face sexy? or are they a turn off?*
Most scars I've seen aren't but sometimes they make the dude look bad boy-ish and that's hot.

*3. How do you signal that you are interested in a man?*
I don't most of the time. I don't speak with him and don't look at him. If we inevitably need to speak (like what happened between me and my Doctor) my eyes gave the flirty look unintentionally. I looked like a flirt, damn. It's not so nice. I don't usually do it. I only allow myself if I like the person and if he's flirty too. I tend to mirror the person.

*4. Attraction: Mind or Body or Neither?*
Both. If only one of them is present, no.

*5. How long does it take for you to open up to a Man you've gotten a little more serious with. (Ie 2 dates and kissing etc)*
Instantly if he feels like opening up to. I don't hide what I feel if he feels the same. I can open up quickly if I feel that the trust and respect is mutual and if the intention is serious. 

*6. Generally when Women don't like a guy, why don't they just come out and say rather than A) not replying or B) Stringing him on?*a) I've not replied to a guy once because I thought I was being polite which is wrong. 
b) Never did this.

*7. Money / Looks / Brains?*
BRAINS anytime. Brains with presentable looks and enough money precisely.

*8. In your own words, based on your life perception.. How would you want to be approached today, and where would that approach work best? Also, where do you frequent?*
Direct approach. I noticed you do this and that/you are this and tat.... For that/those I like you. If I may introduce myself, i'm (name) and I (brief introduction about self). I'm not interesting for everyone but I wonder if you're interested enough to go out with me. Do you want to choose the place and time?

I hangout here, libraries, at home, and at work. Sometimes I go to restaurants, coffee shops, and spa. I'm not so visible around. I only go out if someone asks me out or if I need to breathe from my lone time.

Great questions!


Pff. I hate envisioning the perfect date/approach/guy. They are so rare which makes me think they may not exist in my lifetime or for me. LOL.


----------



## baby blue me

ai.tran.75 said:


> In quotes
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


You're married? That's cool. Really nice.


----------



## Hosker

I represent half of Earth's population. Ask me anything.


----------



## Snakecharmer

conscius said:


> What a peculiar title. What makes you specially representative of the three and a half billion women, to be speaking on their behalf? Please photocopy your womanness documents, your passport, including appropriate pictures of genitalia and eyebrows and your purse, your seminal articles and books on wommaness and feminineness...double spaced and spellchecked (unlike me), and post them here. Thank you.


It was a play on the title of the "I'm a man, ask me anything" thread.


----------



## Leo Argent

So what do you think about relationships between Sensors and Intuitives? I read a lot of places that that's a real no-no.

Do you agree that Sensor-Intuitive matches are usually bad?

If they are workable, then what would make them good matches rather than just "workable"?

I find it intriguing that most people say it's fine to have an Extrovert and an Introvert, a Thinker and a Feeler, etc. but not a Sensor and an Intuitive.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Leo Argent said:


> So what do you think about relationships between Sensors and Intuitives? I read a lot of places that that's a real no-no.
> 
> Do you agree that Sensor-Intuitive matches are usually bad?
> 
> If they are workable, then what would make them good matches rather than just "workable"?
> 
> I find it intriguing that most people say it's fine to have an Extrovert and an Introvert, a Thinker and a Feeler, etc. but not a Sensor and an Intuitive.


I'm an intuitive and have found through experience that I do better with fellow intuitives. One of my LTRs was with an ISTP, and while he is very intelligent and we had interesting conversations, we really did see the world differently and didn't really "get" each other. 

My sister and mother are sensors and we do NOT get each other either...it's almost like we are speaking different languages at times.


----------



## ai.tran.75

Leo Argent said:


> So what do you think about relationships between Sensors and Intuitives? I read a lot of places that that's a real no-no.
> 
> Do you agree that Sensor-Intuitive matches are usually bad?
> 
> If they are workable, then what would make them good matches rather than just "workable"?
> 
> I find it intriguing that most people say it's fine to have an Extrovert and an Introvert, a Thinker and a Feeler, etc. but not a Sensor and an Intuitive.


I'm married to an istp - I'm an Enfp, he makes me laugh and charms me to no end - we've been together for 9.5 yrs married 3 


2. Hmm my case it is extrovert vs introvert , thinker vs feeler and sensor vs intuitive  

We're complete opposite with the same life value - i don't think my relationship is workable - I think it's "amazing " 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## FearAndTrembling

Why the name, Snakecharmer?

I really don't like snakes..


----------



## Snakecharmer

FearAndTrembling said:


> Why the name, Snakecharmer?
> 
> I really don't like snakes..


I was a member of a weightlifting forum several years ago, and one of the members there used to call me Snakecharmer because at the time, I was a hypnotherapist...and she also said I charmed men. lol

You don't like snakes? I'd take a snake over a spider anytime...


----------



## ENTrePreneur

Snakecharmer said:


> I was a member of a weightlifting forum several years ago, and one of the members there used to call me Snakecharmer because at the time, I was a hypnotherapist...and she also said I charmed men. lol
> 
> You don't like snakes? I'd take a snake over a spider anytime...


I got bit by a spider once.

A brown recluse. It wasn't attractive. It didn't charm women. :sad:


----------



## Snakecharmer

ENTrePreneur said:


> I got bit by a spider once.
> 
> A brown recluse. It wasn't attractive. It didn't charm women. :sad:


One of those bit my mother. She still has a scar.


----------



## ai.tran.75

Snakecharmer said:


> One of those bit my mother. She still has a scar.


I got bitten by one when I was 14, I still have the scar on my hip 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## conscius

I have a complex medical/scientific question.

Do women fart?

Also, are women butterflies?


----------



## ENTrePreneur

drmiller100 said:


> Epic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1


*takes a bow*

Common sense, FTW.


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

Every mammal that ingests organic matter is going to expel some type of gas from both the intake & exhaust systems.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

conscius said:


> I have a complex medical/scientific question.
> 
> Do women fart?
> 
> Also, are women butterflies?


yes

no?


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

I have a question for fellow smaller boobed ladies; how do you brush off people making fun of you? It's always happened to me. It's one thing to have men do it but when fellow women do it, it rather surprises me. What's your reaction?


----------



## Scarab

isingthebodyelectric said:


> I have a question for fellow smaller boobed ladies; how do you brush off people making fun of you? It's always happened to me. It's one thing to have men do it but when fellow women do it, it rather surprises me. What's your reaction?


I'm not a woman, but I can imagine they do it because they want to feel better about themselves. In the end you just have to remember that they are probably insecure about themselves...And that they are rather rude people -- which might be why they try to belittle others (few people really like who they really are).

The best you can do is to be confident in yourself; breast size doesn't matter.


----------



## ai.tran.75

isingthebodyelectric said:


> I have a question for fellow smaller boobed ladies; how do you brush off people making fun of you? It's always happened to me. It's one thing to have men do it but when fellow women do it, it rather surprises me. What's your reaction?


I laugh about it a lot and poke fun of myself. . I don't really take things as offensive . I was a 32 b back then ? Lots of teasing from girls - you're so tiny - small. Guys never poked fun at my breast- I think I would be more shocked if that happen to me - but again I'll find it funny . I get teased more from men after I gave birth to my son- I jumped from a 32b to 32dd
That's when all the jokes comes in - and being on the end of both sides I think I miss my small breasts  



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Snakecharmer

isingthebodyelectric said:


> I have a question for fellow smaller boobed ladies; how do you brush off people making fun of you? It's always happened to me. It's one thing to have men do it but when fellow women do it, it rather surprises me. What's your reaction?


Most women are bitches, so...

Kidding, sorta. But I do think that women who criticize or otherwise bring other women down are seriously lacking in character.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Snakecharmer said:


> Most women are bitches, so...
> 
> Kidding, sorta. But I do think that women who criticize or otherwise bring other women down are seriously lacking in character.


I don't think so. I just think they are brainwashed into thinking they are superior because of the size of their breasts I.e Kate Upton.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

isingthebodyelectric said:


> I don't think so. I just think they are brainwashed into thinking they are superior because of the size of their breasts I.e Kate Upton.


Well that's a stupid way to think.

Superiority comes from the brains, everybody knows that. If superiority came from breasts, Obama wouldn't be president. :kitteh:


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

ENTrePreneur said:


> Well that's a stupid way to think.
> 
> Superiority comes from the brains, everybody knows that. If superiority came from breasts, Obama wouldn't be president. :kitteh:


Not when you're a woman. Breasts are power. I'm only half joking lol.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Not when you're a woman. Breasts are power. I'm only half joking lol.


Nu uh. Look at Hilary Clinton.

Or Bloody Mary. Or Queen Elizabeth.

And wait.. a half joke? Is that like.. a half truth?


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

ENTrePreneur said:


> Nu uh. Look at Hilary Clinton.
> 
> Or Bloody Mary. Or Queen Elizabeth.
> 
> And wait.. a half joke? Is that like.. a half truth?


Is Hillary Clinton admired half as much as Upton? 

Yeah I guess lol.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Is Hillary Clinton admired half as much as Upton?


Who's Upton?

So.. No.


> Yeah I guess lol.


:shocked: So then.. did you lie? :shocked:


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

ENTrePreneur said:


> Who's Upton?
> 
> So.. No.
> 
> :shocked: So then.. did you lie? :shocked:


Kate Upton. I think she's a bully. 

Not a lie. ..a joke. .lol.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Kate Upton. I think she's a bully.


*googles*

Ewww.....



> Not a lie. ..a joke. .lol.


But telling a half joke is worse than telling a half truth, because nobody cares when people lie, but not being funny is punishable by death. :angry:


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

ENTrePreneur said:


> *googles*
> 
> Ewww.....
> 
> 
> 
> But telling a half joke is worse than telling a half truth, because nobody cares when people lie, but not being funny is punishable by death. :angry:


I believe you think that..


Not hahaha.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

isingthebodyelectric said:


> I believe you think that..
> 
> 
> Not hahaha.


You don't believe I think what?..


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

ENTrePreneur said:


> You don't believe I think what?..


'Ewww'.

I still like you even though you a liar haha.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

isingthebodyelectric said:


> 'Ewww'.
> 
> I still like you even though you a liar haha.


Liar? No, I'm saving that 'til marriage. :kitteh:


----------



## baby blue me

ENTrePreneur said:


> Nu uh. Look at Hilary Clinton.
> 
> Or Bloody Mary. Or Queen Elizabeth.
> 
> And wait.. a half joke? Is that like.. a half truth?





> Who's Upton?
> 
> So.. No
> 
> So then.. did you lie?





> But telling a half joke is worse than telling a half truth, because nobody cares when people lie, but not being funny is punishable by death.





> Liar? No, I'm saving that 'til marriage.


I wish I'm argumentative like this.

Why? For marriage.


----------



## Effy

Brian1 said:


> Yes to both, I want to know, is this possible or impossible?


This is so funny to me. Of course it's possible. Surely you must know some couples where one is a smoker and one isn't.


----------



## Effy

isingthebodyelectric said:


> I have a question for fellow smaller boobed ladies; how do you brush off people making fun of you? It's always happened to me. It's one thing to have men do it but when fellow women do it, it rather surprises me. What's your reaction?



I haven't had this happen to me since I was a teenager. My first thought reading that was "adults _do_ this?". Then I realised what people can be like and...yeah.

Honestly, if I were you, I'd go cold. If you're comfortable with it then there are all sorts of joking retorts you could make, but the fact that you're posting this shows that it bothers you. If it bothers you, then don't joke back. Nip it in the bud. Are you good at passive aggression and subtle disapproval? This is the most appropriate time for that. The idea is to make _them_ feel embarrassed. Go quiet, pause, and give them a disdainful look like:










I think I'd probably say something like, "You know, I always thought it was really inappropriate to comment on somebody's else's body like that." Or maybe not phrased like that, but something along those lines - something that highlights they're crossing a social boundary and making a faux pas. The tone is probably more important than the exact words, tbh. Keep it measured and don't show you're rattled. The point is that they're being super unclassy, not that they made you uncomfortable. Because seriously, no adult with any sense of manners or social norms is going to say something like that. They're making themselves look bad, not you.


I remember seeing posts from you before about being insecure about your body. You shouldn't be. I'm sorry people are being shitty to you at the moment, but that's because they're shitty people. Being small-busted is nothing that deserves being made fun of. There are as many people out there who'll think it's wonderful as who apparently think it's a drawback.


----------



## zaczacattack

Do women ever dress up just "for themselves"? as opposed to dressing up to attract guys.


----------



## ai.tran.75

zaczacattack said:


> Do women ever dress up just "for themselves"? as opposed to dressing up to attract guys.


Always- I think I dress up by mood not for men or women, I've been with the same person since 19 so I haven't really crush or paid any attention to anyone else since. But back on subject - I believe women dresses for themselves most of the time 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## cinnabun

zaczacattack said:


> Do women ever dress up just "for themselves"? as opposed to dressing up to attract guys.


Yes, many times when I go out clubbing, I'll wear a sexy dress for my own benefit. It makes me feel attractive and confident.


----------



## RaeLizz

isingthebodyelectric said:


> I have a question for fellow smaller boobed ladies; how do you brush off people making fun of you? It's always happened to me. It's one thing to have men do it but when fellow women do it, it rather surprises me. What's your reaction?


I can definitely relate to being treated that way by girls. It made me so bitter towards all of them. I still feel uncomfortable around 15 year olds even now that I'm 20. Sad, I know...
I agree with what was said, they do it to boost their confidence. And that's not just a saying to make people feel better. They get off on seeing you upset.
Laughing it off is probably the best thing you can do in the moment. If it really does hurt though, I'd talk to someone about it or even try to talk to them.
When I do that, it tends to end in them yelling, cussing me out, and making no sense at all. And I get to walk away knowing I was the rational one and they were bat sh*t crazy to begin with


----------



## cinnabun

RaeLizz said:


> I can definitely relate to being treated that way by girls. It made me so bitter towards all of them. I still feel uncomfortable around 15 year olds even now that I'm 20. Sad, I know...
> I agree with what was said, they do it to boost their confidence. And that's not just a saying to make people feel better. They get off on seeing you upset.
> Laughing it off is probably the best thing you can do in the moment. If it really does hurt though, I'd talk to someone about it or even try to talk to them.
> When I do that, it tends to end in them yelling, cussing me out, and making no sense at all. And I get to walk away knowing I was the rational one and they were bat sh*t crazy to begin with


OMG sorry this has nothing to do with the above, BUT YOUR AVATAR!!! ARE THEY YOUR PET RATS? THEY'RE SO KAWAII:crazy:<3.


----------



## RaeLizz

Lmao, yep those be my babies. They're almost 4 months old now, Hermes and Apollo <3


----------



## cinnabun

RaeLizz said:


> Lmao, yep those be my babies. They're almost 4 months old now, Hermes and Apollo <3


Aww, they are so precious. I have two rats as well, but they're just over two. I miss it when they're babies, they're so energetic and crazy. Glad to see there's more people on here who appreciate da ratties :3.


----------



## RaeLizz

Daw, I'm sure they're still adorable.
And ya they're so misunderstood  They're just like tiny dogs, way smarter than boring hamsters and gerbils.


----------



## sraddatz

Effy said:


> This is so funny to me. Of course it's possible. Surely you must know some couples where one is a smoker and one isn't.


I have been smoke-free for about a week now. I smoked from 19 to 27. I quit right before my oldest was born almost 9 years ago. I started again about 1.5 to 2 years ago. My wife has never smoked. I think she just put up with it because the rest of me is awesome.


----------



## daleks_exterminate

ai.tran.75 said:


> Do you have more male or female friends ?
> *
> Currently I'd say a 60/40 percent. 60 being female, 40 being male. This changes occasionally as I tend to choose friends based on individual personality and not gender in itself. I don't think I'm "one of the guys" and honestly, I'd rather not be.
> 
> *
> Is it easier for you to open up with the same sex or opposite?
> 
> *both/and. Again, gender doesn't really affect this for me. It's more about a connection. If we have fun together and I trust you, I'm more likely to open up.*
> 
> 
> Do you act differently when you talk to the opposite sex / same?
> 
> *well I do try avoiding conversation topics like periods around men. Other than that, no not really.*
> 
> 
> 
> What's your definitions of masculine and feminine?
> 
> *Easy! Women should always look perfect, smile, be quiet and cook. Men should always be go getters with forceful attitudes and be worksholics.  let's say femininity- isfj masculinity- entj :wink:
> 
> this is an incredibly difficult question. I don't think of masculinity as assertive and femininity as passive. I believe every person has masculine & feminine traits. I'm a feminist, and I admire and appreciate great men. I'm not one for traditional gender rolls, but have more of a "whatever individual is better at said task", so perhaps it's more of an energy? I consider myself feminine, albeit not very traditional.*
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk







bknight554 said:


> 1. Do you make yourself and your intentions known when flirting with guys? Can you prove this?
> *
> no not really. Although, if I thought a guy was into me and I wasn't at all interested I'd talk to him about it & not flirt. I don't really ask out men typically. I don't see anything wrong with it and I have told men that I was interested, but then the ball is in their court. Maybe my infj mom rubbed off on me. :wink:*
> 
> 
> 
> 2. Are scars on a Mans face sexy? or are they a turn off?
> 
> *They could be? Confidence is sexy, so depending on the man...*
> 
> 
> 
> 3. How do you signal that you are interested in a man?
> 
> *um... In person I usually don't. Or I may say that I find him intriguing if I do. I did ask a man out for drinks once, we became good friends. *
> 
> 
> 4. Attraction: Mind or Body or Neither?
> 
> *it's all mental for me. The right mind could likely make me fall in love with any body. I do appreciate both though.
> ....who's going to pick neither?! Haha
> ....my apologies, if you did in fact say neither, but what the hell?
> *
> 
> 
> 
> 5. How long does it take for you to open up to a Man you've gotten a little more serious with. (Ie 2 dates and kissing etc)
> 
> *open up in what way? *
> 
> 
> 
> 6. Generally when Women don't like a guy, why don't they just come out and say rather than A) not replying or B) Stringing him along?
> 
> *Some women do! For me if I'm A.) or B.) it's not ignoring... It's actually saying that I like him enough to consider it, but likely am waiting to see if red flags change/ or if I think it's worth trying. I'm assessing the situation to see. I think a lot of women likely do this.
> 
> If I was absolutely sure there was no possibility I'd tell him.
> 
> Ive had friends "string guys along" because they didn't want to hurt them by saying no. Ultimately, I find this most cruel.
> *
> 
> 
> 
> 7. Money / Looks / Brains?
> 
> *Money & looks can diminish but unchallenged stupidity lasts forever.
> 
> *
> 8. In your own words, based on your life perception.. How would you want to be approached today, and where would that approach work best? Also, where do you frequent?
> 
> *I frequent coffee-shops, book stores, hiking trails, the internet, game stores, college, parties (sometimes), a dock, and am impulsive & love fun so anywhere fitting that bill.
> 
> and honestly, I'm not sure. But I like surprises and mysteries. So lure me in with some kind of game. *
> 
> 
> Thanks Girlies :-3
> *absolutely!*







zaczacattack said:


> Do women ever dress up just "for themselves"? as opposed to dressing up to attract guys.


*Honestly, I pretty much ONLY dress up for myself.*


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

sraddatz said:


> I have been smoke-free for about a week now. I smoked from 19 to 27. I quit right before my oldest was born almost 9 years ago. I started again about 1.5 to 2 years ago. My wife has never smoked. I think she just put up with it because the rest of me is awesome.


Cangrats, keep at it.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

how do you kiss well?

What's the best kiss you've ever had?

Characteristics of a good kiss?


----------



## ai.tran.75

ENTrePreneur said:


> how do you kiss well?
> 
> What's the best kiss you've ever had?
> 
> Characteristics of a good kiss?


Use the tip of your tongue- and try to run that against the tip of the girls tongue - follow your instinct after 

Well my first kiss I didn't want - a girl kinda shove her tongue into my mouth without me knowing that I was getting kissed - that traumatized me

My first real kiss was with my istp partner - tingles from head to toe - I was inexperience but apparently I didn't need any experience ( he didn't know it was my first kiss !) but I do remember when the tip of his tongue touches mine - electricity was sent from head to toes - oh and that was the best kiss that I've ever had 

Character of a good kiss - good breath - not sloppy ....


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## ENTrePreneur

ai.tran.75 said:


> Use the tip of your tongue- and try to run that against the tip of the girls tongue - follow your instinct after
> 
> Well my first kiss I didn't want - a girl kinda shove her tongue into my mouth without me knowing that I was getting kissed - that traumatized me
> 
> My first real kiss was with my istp partner - tingles from head to toe - I was inexperience but apparently I didn't need any experience ( he didn't know it was my first kiss !) but I do remember when the tip of his tongue touches mine - electricity was sent from head to toes - oh and that was the best kiss that I've ever had
> 
> Character of a good kiss - good breath - not sloppy ....
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


*takes notes*

Uh huh...

Uh huh...

Ok cool! Thanks


----------



## HellCat

ENTrePreneur said:


> how do you kiss well?
> 
> What's the best kiss you've ever had?
> 
> Characteristics of a good kiss?


Sometimes the best way to know how to be good at something is how not to do it.

My worst. Was a guy eight yrs older than me who should have known better and was mashing his teeth against my very soft full lips, cutting and bruising me, and licking my face like a puppy.

It was his first and last night with me ever. 

Slow, exploring, soft, suck on the bottom lip, top lip, graze with your teeth a little if your feeling playful... SLOW SOFT .. build pressure. 



enjoy the sensations, hold her face, stroke her chin, side of face, run fingers through hair, play with hair, stroke collarbone, arms, thighs, soft, gentle sensations.. at first and build. Until you get really good 


The more meaningful and erotic..the more memorable.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

LeoCat said:


> Sometimes the best way to know how to be good at something is how not to do it.
> 
> My worst. Was a guy eight yrs older than me who should have known better and was mashing his teeth against my very soft full lips, cutting and bruising me, and licking my face like a puppy.
> 
> It was his first and last night with me ever.
> 
> Slow, exploring, soft, suck on the bottom lip... SLOW SOFT .. build pressure.
> 
> enjoy the sensations, hold her face, stroke her chin, side of face, run fingers through hair, play with hair, stroke collarbone.
> 
> The more meaningful and erotic..the more memorable.


Ok, cool, thanks.

And I imagine this is also something that might vary from girl to girl as well? What parts of this do you suspect won't vary much at all? All of it? None of it?


----------



## HellCat

ENTrePreneur said:


> Ok, cool, thanks.
> 
> And I imagine this is also something that might vary from girl to girl as well? What parts of this do you suspect won't vary much at all? All of it? None of it?


It doesn't vary that much. You will learn how to read her and figure out what she wants but you cannot go wrong erring on the side of gentle and erotic .. vs starving animal trying to suck or chew her lips off.


----------



## cinnabun

Wellsy said:


> How was your ideal for physical attractiveness as a young woman compared to your ideal, now that you're older?
> 
> I suppose i'm just thinking that one's less likely to be as typically in shape when they get older, do you find your tastes accommodating to these typical changes of age?


When I was younger, I was much more shallow. I would fall for people based on their looks alone, and I had a type: blonde haired, blue-eyed guys.

Now though, I don't have a type. There have been so many different people I've been attracted to, and they all look totally different from one another. The only thing in common they have is dark hair I guess, but that doesn't mean I would't be attracted to fair-haired guys. 

It also takes me a lot longer to find someone attractive, and 90% of the time it's down to personality I've met a lot of great-looking guys, but never felt attracted _to_ them because I didn't feel connected to them. I can admit someone is good-looking without having feelings for them.

In regards to being in shape, it doesn't bother me. I do like muscular guys, who doesn't? But the crazy, OTT body-building extreme shit? No, that shit be scary. I honestly have a specific body type in mind. I'm down with whatever, as long as they're not like morbidly obese or anything, since that's the only thing I wouldn't find sexually appealing.


----------



## ai.tran.75

Wellsy said:


> How was your ideal for physical attractiveness as a young woman compared to your ideal, now that you're older?
> 
> I suppose i'm just thinking that one's less likely to be as typically in shape when they get older, do you find your tastes accommodating to these typical changes of age?


I've been the same height and weight since I was 15 until now . 
At 15 I think my ideal body was to gain 10 lbs - now I couldn't care less anymore . I like my body better now - bc after I had my son my breast changed size and yeah that's about it  
I'm quite happy with my size all in general 
If we're talking about physical attraction towards opposite sex then my taste has changed quite a bit - in HS I liked boyish teenager now I'm
Attracted to older men - I have always been drawn to artistic lanky guys - however for me to actually like somebody - that's quite tough very tough (unlike my online persona where I like everyone ) within really I can only enter relationship if there's a "click" (son looks and personality don't count ) and that "click" or "chemistry" has only happened once to me - luckily I'm still with that partner  


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Wellsy

ai.tran.75 said:


> I've been the same height and weight since I was 15 until now .
> At 15 I think my ideal body was to gain 10 lbs - now I couldn't care less anymore . I like my body better now - bc after I had my son my breast changed size and yeah that's about it
> I'm quite happy with my size all in general
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I didn't word it clearly it seems XD
I was thinking more the type of people you're attracted to more so than your own physical attractiveness.
Suppose at the extreme I was thinking of how we all get older, typically wrinklier, saggier etc and thinking about really old people still loving one another physically, whether they don't feel attracted to people once such changes have occurred, ignoring potential change in libido.

Though glad to hear you're happy with your physical self


----------



## ai.tran.75

Wellsy said:


> I didn't word it clearly it seems XD
> I was thinking more the type of people you're attracted to more so than your own physical attractiveness.
> Suppose at the extreme I was thinking of how we all get older, typically wrinklier, saggier etc and thinking about really old people still loving one another physically, whether they don't feel attracted to people once such changes have occurred, ignoring potential change in libido.
> 
> Though glad to hear you're happy with your physical self


My bad - physical I never paid attention to - to be frank (I fall for people through connection or chemistry ) . 
But I suppose I look for different things as I aged - at 19 I wanted to be compel- intimidated- chased - now relaxing , humor and comfort is enough . Physical has never play that strong of a role but I was always drawn to lanky artists if that counts for anything 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## carlaviii

Wellsy said:


> How was your ideal for physical attractiveness as a young woman compared to your ideal, now that you're older?
> 
> I suppose i'm just thinking that one's less likely to be as typically in shape when they get older, do you find your tastes accommodating to these typical changes of age?


I didn't see myself as having the option of having a "type" when I was younger -- beggars can't be choosers, after all. I've always leaned toward darker hair/eyes in general, but it was never a specific type. 

Nowadays, yeah, if you got all my boytoys together you'd see that I've definitely got a type. "Scruffy" would be the word I think, and that can include any number of age-related details. Worth noting, though, that youth does not always equal slim/in shape, no hair in odd places, no receding hairline/high forehead etc. You don't get to choose your genetics.


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

**


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

oops


----------



## crumbs

Wellsy said:


> How was your ideal for physical attractiveness as a young woman compared to your ideal, now that you're older?
> 
> I suppose i'm just thinking that one's less likely to be as typically in shape when they get older, do you find your tastes accommodating to these typical changes of age?


Pinnacle of physical attractiveness is still the same hoodie and skinny jeaned, tousle haired geek he was five years ago. Personality wise, he has changed in that he can be anyone, but physically, that's still what I find attractive. That's what it was in elementary, middle school, and high school, and that's still what it is now. Physically, my own appearance has changed a lot (gained weight, grew out my hair, generally look a bit more mature), but it's still what I find myself naturally attracted to. I have a feeling I'll be fifty and still gawking at some twenty year olds with nice hair in hoodies and skinny jeans because I think they look cute. I will be a fabulous cougar.


----------



## sraddatz

xdollie. said:


> Excuse me?
> 
> I do not, I'm an angel. My mind is nothing but pure, as the rest of me is:kitteh:.


...and you can wear white on your wedding day, right?


----------



## sraddatz

Amaryllis said:


> Haha but you know actually I think you would be surprised by the number of women you know in real life who have a dirty mind. It is just that in a great forum like PerC where people share similar interests, it is easier to relax and talk about our sex life and fantasies.


Fantasies? Noone mentioned fantasies. Please proceed.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Wellsy said:


> How was your ideal for physical attractiveness as a young woman compared to your ideal, now that you're older?
> 
> I suppose i'm just thinking that one's less likely to be as typically in shape when they get older, do you find your tastes accommodating to these typical changes of age?


I've never cared about what kind of physical shape a man is in.

I've dated underweight men and very overweight men (one - he was nearly 70 lbs overweight when we met).

Beauty fades, but stupid lasts forever. I look for substance. I've dated ONE man who was in pretty good shape and he happened to be a flaming narcissistic asshat. Yuck. I'm not saying all men who work out are like that, but meh...I'm far more interested in having a strong intellectual connection.


----------



## Bugs

Snakecharmer said:


> I've never cared about what kind of physical shape a man is in.
> 
> I've dated underweight men and very overweight men (one - he was nearly 70 lbs overweight when we met).
> 
> Beauty fades, but stupid lasts forever. I look for substance. I've dated ONE man who was in pretty good shape and he happened to be a flaming narcissistic asshat. Yuck. I'm not saying all men who work out are like that, but meh...I'm far more interested in having a strong intellectual connection.


roud:


----------



## Snakecharmer

Bugs said:


> roud:



roud: <3


----------



## daleks_exterminate

Wellsy said:


> How was your ideal for physical attractiveness as a young woman compared to your ideal, now that you're older?
> 
> 
> I suppose i'm just thinking that one's less likely to be as typically in shape when they get older, do you find your tastes accommodating to these typical changes of age?


When I was younger, I dated mostly artists. I don't care about physical appearance (never really have). Personality is everything to me & I'm really attracted to passion. 


I go for personality because the type of guy I actually find most physically attractive are like 40year old outdoorsy men who kind of look like lumberjacks and like to kayak, rockclimb, hike, read poetry, smoke cigars, etc. 

and I can't date that man or it would be reallllllly weird. 

I pretty much agree with @_Snakecharmer_ about this. And even @_xdollie._ Because I've met many "attractive" men I was not into and men I found attractive that others didn't seem to.

bottom line- what's attractive to me- honesty, loyalty, passion, intelligence, determination, fun to be with, that_ spark_​...whatever that is.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Daleks_exterminate said:


> I go for personality because the type of guy I actually find most physically attractive are like 40year old outdoorsy men who kind of look like lumberjacks and like to kayak, rockclimb, hike, read poetry, smoke cigars, etc.


LOL! I have two friends I could introduce you to who both fit that description...oh, aside from the cigars, though.

:laughing:


----------



## daleks_exterminate

Snakecharmer said:


> LOL! I have two friends I could introduce you to who both fit that description...oh, aside from the cigars, though.
> 
> :laughing:


do it! Haha


----------



## cinnabun

Snakecharmer said:


> roud: <3





Bugs said:


> roud:


*Whispers* I ship it so hard:blushed:.


----------



## cinnabun

sraddatz said:


> ...and you can wear white on your wedding day, right?


Siroud::blushed:.


----------



## Snakecharmer

xdollie. said:


> *Whispers* I ship it so hard:blushed:.


What does "ship it" mean?


----------



## Scarab

Snakecharmer said:


> What does "ship it" mean?


Put it on a boat and ship it off to somewhere; like put two people on a boat with a lot of animals, and crazy stuff happens.


----------



## aeralin

HypoTempes said:


> What's the obsession with having a LOT of different outfits for social gatherings about ? (Dresses + shoes + clutches + accessories )
> 
> What's wrong with wearing the same stuff multiple times ?
> 
> (if this has been answered before sorry, just point me at "it" then)


I do not have multiple outfits for social gatherings. If the outfit has been worn and the same people will be there, than I get a new one. Girls wear dresses, whereas guys just wear a suit. So a guy can just wear a different dress shirt and it's considered a different outfit. 

Also, let's say out had two weddings in the same family to go to, well wearing the same outfit or dress, in pictures people can see, might be considered rude? This person doesn't care about my occasion enough to wear something different.


----------



## carlaviii

sraddatz said:


> Do I talk about sex too much?


You? :laughing:



HypoTempes said:


> What's the obsession with having a LOT of different outfits for social gatherings about ? (Dresses + shoes + clutches + accessories )
> 
> What's wrong with wearing the same stuff multiple times ?


(shrugs) The love of clothes shopping was beaten out of me at a young age, as a side effect of being plus sized back when fatties were only "allowed" to wear muumuus or potato sacks. Even now it's stressful, expensive, and time consuming so I don't do it much.


----------



## Golden Rose

HypoTempes said:


> Guess who ends up paying for it :laughing:
> 
> Seriously though "my" missus is willing to spend in excess of 900+ euros on one pair of shoes/bag/ dress item, which seems perfectly normal but if I want a new video game / Graphic card....:dry:
> 
> Love the garbage quote in your sig though roud:


Hahahaha I feel you :laughing:

Sometimes I go on binge shopping sprees too [not necessarily clothes related though] and at some point I'm like "wait what happened??? Where did all the money go??" so it ain't exactly something that'd make a husband too happy lol~ and thank you *♥* I love Garbage!!!


----------



## sraddatz

Hotaru said:


> Hahahaha I feel you :laughing:
> 
> Sometimes I go on binge shopping sprees too [not necessarily clothes related though] and at some point I'm like "wait what happened??? Where did all the money go??" so it ain't exactly something that'd make a husband too happy lol~ and thank you *♥* I love Garbage!!!


We're very easy to divert, though. Just make sure to add lingerie to the shopping binge.


Hotaru said:


> Hahahaha I feel you :laughing:
> 
> Sometimes I go on binge shopping sprees too [not necessarily clothes related though] and at some point I'm like "wait what happened??? Where did all the money go??" so it ain't exactly something that'd make a husband too happy lol~ and thank you *♥* I love Garbage!!!


----------



## sraddatz

carlaviii said:


> You? :laughing:
> 
> 
> 
> (shrugs) The love of clothes shopping was beaten out of me at a young age, as a side effect of being plus sized back when fatties were only "allowed" to wear muumuus or potato sacks. Even now it's stressful, expensive, and time consuming so I don't do it much.


I take that as a yes. So...what are you wearing? ;-)


----------



## carlaviii

sraddatz said:


> I take that as a yes. So...what are you wearing? ;-)


Lol. A tee shirt and leggings. Boring undies -- wasn't expecting company tonight :wink:


----------



## sraddatz

carlaviii said:


> Lol. A tee shirt and leggings. Boring undies -- wasn't expecting company tonight :wink:


Ooh baby. That's about as sexy as my Adidas workout pants with no shirt. I'm so not sexy.


----------



## carlaviii

sraddatz said:


> Ooh baby. That's about as sexy as my Adidas workout pants with no shirt. I'm so not sexy.


Lol. Works for me. Finding the flirty snarky sexy in unexpected places is more fun anyhow.


----------



## cinnabun

sraddatz said:


> Do I talk about sex too much?


Not enough.


----------



## Loaf

Can I lick your legs?


----------



## sraddatz

xdollie. said:


> Not enough.


Favorite position? Can it be too deep?


----------



## petite libellule

This thread got completely gross. :bored:


----------



## FakeLefty

ningsta kitty said:


> This thread got completely gross. :bored:


It's for science, of course!


----------



## sraddatz

ningsta kitty said:


> This thread got completely gross. :bored:


What would you like to discuss?


----------



## carlaviii

sraddatz said:


> Favorite position? Can it be too deep?


I'll have to go with ye olde missionary for ease, depth and intimacy. I've gotten my cervix pounded, always in doggy pose and that only needs a slight angle adjustment to fix.


----------



## cinnabun

sraddatz said:


> Favorite position? Can it be too deep?


The unicorn:crazy:.

And no, never.


----------



## sraddatz

xdollie. said:


> The unicorn:crazy:.
> 
> And no, never.


I had to Google that one.


----------



## sraddatz

carlaviii said:


> I'll have to go with ye olde missionary for ease, depth and intimacy. I've gotten my cervix pounded, always in doggy pose and that only needs a slight angle adjustment to fix.


That usually works best for the Mrs. it helps to put a pillow or two under your butt. It changes the angle for better g-spot stimulation.


----------



## Ephemerald

Has your vagina ever fallen asleep?


----------



## cinnabun

Ephemerald said:


> Has your vagina ever fallen asleep?


Yes, vaginas are _always_ asleep. They can only be awakened if you feed it a sausage.


----------



## petite libellule

sraddatz said:


> What would you like to discuss?


:mellow:


----------



## sraddatz

xdollie. said:


> Yes, vaginas are _always_ asleep. They can only be awakened if you feed it a sausage.


Chorizo?


----------



## cinnabun

sraddatz said:


> Chorizo?


:wink:


----------



## sraddatz

ningsta kitty said:


> :mellow:


Mellow? Marijuana? Wine? Those things make me mellow.


----------



## sraddatz

xdollie. said:


> Yes, vaginas are _always_ asleep. They can only be awakened if you feed it a sausage.


So are you hungry?


----------



## Wellsy

Do you have a perfect bra?


----------



## cinnabun

Wellsy said:


> Do you have a perfect bra?


Yes, and I bought one in every colour <3.


----------



## sraddatz

I know there is a separate forum, but do you ladies have any questions for me? I'm a family man in my mid-thirties. I'm an accountant by trade, and my wife is not working outside the home right now.


----------



## carlaviii

Wellsy said:


> Do you have a perfect bra?


Goddess underwires. Not only come in my size, but can handle my girls even on the dance floor. Slowly building my collection as I can afford to buy them.


----------



## FakeLefty

xdollie. said:


> Yes, and I bought one in every colour <3.


*Color

Because 'Murica!


----------



## sraddatz

FakeLefty said:


> *Color
> 
> Because 'Murica!


She at least has to have 3. One red, one white, one blue.


----------



## HypoTempes

Ok here's a serious gripe I have with women. 

WHY is it that when you/we have -insert random dress up event here- women change into young girls when their BFF's show up to get dressed ? (worst bit about this 9/10 times there's wine/spirits involved which only makes the behaviour worse) 

And even if "you lot" know about aforementioned event WELL in advance and your coven shows up somewhere around noon on the day itself we're STILL running late? 

Which is apparently perfectly normal and you as a man just have to "deal with this" ?! 

Are you scheming for your witchcraft or something? 

Since even though it's my apartment I'd better steer clear from my missus her "walk-in" where she's spending the rest of the day/evening with her "sisters".


----------



## carlaviii

HypoTempes said:


> Are you scheming for your witchcraft or something?


No, I get all of my scheming done in a timely manner and I'm professional enough to not need outside input. Plus, why should I risk my plans being leaked to the enemy? I'm in this to win it.


----------



## sraddatz

HypoTempes said:


> Ok here's a serious gripe I have with women.
> 
> WHY is it that when you/we have -insert random dress up event here- women change into young girls when their BFF's show up to get dressed ? (worst bit about this 9/10 times there's wine/spirits involved which only makes the behaviour worse)
> 
> And even if "you lot" know about aforementioned event WELL in advance and your coven shows up somewhere around noon on the day itself we're STILL running late?
> 
> Which is apparently perfectly normal and you as a man just have to "deal with this" ?!
> 
> Are you scheming for your witchcraft or something?
> 
> Since even though it's my apartment I'd better steer clear from my missus her "walk-in" where she's spending the rest of the day/evening with her "sisters".


I am guessing that I am a bit older than you. I can tell you this; man to man. You will spend half your life waiting on women. I am married, and the father of two girls. If all 4 if us are going somewhere, I'm now resigned to the fact that we will never be anywhere on time. If only we warlocks had a "hurry the fuck up"spell...


----------



## Jennywocky

FakeLefty said:


> It's for science, of course!


I can't believe how many times I've used that excuse this week.

Scientistas, unite!


----------



## Inveniet

What is the right thing to do? 
When tons of women want you and you just can't make up your damn mind cause you are a waffly ISFP. :wink:


----------



## ai.tran.75

hornet said:


> What is the right thing to do?
> When tons of women want you and you just can't make up your damn mind cause you are a waffly ISFP. :wink:


You sound like my best guy friend (he's also an isfp ) - do what feels right to you


----------



## Inveniet

ai.tran.75 said:


> You sound like my best guy friend (he's also an isfp ) - do what feels right to you


Well nothing feel purely right.
No matter what I end up doing, someone gets hurt.
No matter what I end up doing, hassles will ensue.
No matter what I end up doing, I will wonder if the grass is greener on the other side.

But I get what you are saying, pick the lesser evil if any.
I'm also struggling with the world not as clearcut as I was raised believing.
Like it isn't just boy meets girl, cause people seem to have every specter of the rainbow stances on relationships.
You try to do the right thing, but then she is a lesbian/christian/whatever and all your smart rules of thumb
have been made null and void, cause these people wasn't open from the start.
Then you start to think that maybe a take no hostages approach is the right thing.
But then you feel guilty thinking such thouhgts about other people.
But reality ain't giving you a break just because you have moral dillemmas and punish you for being passive.
Then you break and "bitchslap" some poor innocent that seem to fit the bill, making everything so much better... xD

It almost seem like just having a careless I don't notice anything else than myself is the best option.
Ignorance being bliss.


----------



## nO_d3N1AL

How would you respond to someone random asking you for a hug?


----------



## sraddatz

hornet said:


> What is the right thing to do?
> When tons of women want you and you just can't make up your damn mind cause you are a waffly ISFP. :wink:


As a fellow man, I tell you; date them all! You will regret it later if you don't. 

btw, there are worse problems to have. This is one issue I've never been confronted with.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

hornet said:


> Hmm well general situation is that I've just started uni.
> My class has 43 students of them about 7 are boys, this is similar for all 6 classes in my year.
> Not to mention the two years above us ++ all the other lines.
> Anyway I'm surrounded by tons and tons of women.
> 
> My problem if any is that I'm so perceptive to other peoples body language.
> I instantly know if a girl likes me and how badly.
> Add to that type knowledge and I pretty much know why they want me too... xD
> 
> Regardless this knowledge makes me feel almost cruel if I display interest in any direction.
> Cause I can see the pained expressions in the other girls faces.
> But hey what can I do?
> I have to interact with these girls, it isn't like I can leave them alone.
> So basically I'm put in moral dilemmas each day.
> In the end I think the only sane solution is to wash my hands and say that other peoples feelings
> are not my responsibility. That may sound harsh, but that is the only thing I can do.
> You can't save everybodys feelings. No matter how much outrage is directed towards you for
> running around being single and wanting to explore your freedom.


...no you don't know by body language if women want you. I wouldn't go around taking apparent body language as green lights if I were you.


----------



## Inveniet

isingthebodyelectric said:


> ...no you don't know by body language if women want you. I wouldn't go around taking apparent body language as green lights if I were you.


Making assertions about what a stranger on the internet know and don't is not very wise. :tongue:
What I'm noticing is based on years of experience not some article I read somewhere.
I know what I know, if you can't handle that, *that is your problem.*
The green light reference makes me wonder if you have the whole thing upside down.
I'm not debating if these are green lights, but *the dilemma of knowing that other people are hurt by your actions,
but proceeding anyway, cause if you don't you are a prisoner of others emotional whims.*


----------



## Jennywocky

hornet said:


> Making assertions about what a stranger on the internet know and don't is not very wise. :tongue:
> What I'm noticing is based on years of experience not some article I read somewhere.
> I know what I know, if you can't handle that, *that is your problem.*
> The green light reference makes me wonder if you have the whole thing upside down.
> I'm not debating if these are green lights, but *the dilemma of knowing that other people are hurt by your actions,
> but proceeding anyway, cause if you don't you are a prisoner of others emotional whims.*


I understand you feel you've had some legitimate life experience, but you're in a thread called "I'm a Woman - Ask me Anything" -- i.e., this is a thread about female perspectives. And it was bothersome to read a comment by a man saying:



> My problem if any is that I'm so perceptive to other peoples body language.
> I instantly know if a girl likes me and how badly.
> Add to that type knowledge and I pretty much know why they want me too... xD




That's really not a far cry from "She said no, but i could tell she really meant yes because I know what she REALLY wants." So don't be surprised if you get some pushback on a comment like that one.

But focusing on your main point here:

I think is important like you said (and it's not a point about the above, it's just a general life point), that you have to live your life regardless of whether you are complying with other people's desires or giving them what they want.

To take it out of the attraction context (which is more volatile), this could refer to not getting the career your parents want you to have because it's your life and you like something else; or it could mean choosing not to be in the group your friend really wants you to be in with them because you think your time is better spent elsewhere; or it could mean canceling a trip due to weather you're not comfortable in traveling in while running the risk of disappointing the person you planned to visit.... it's applicable across the board. In the end, those people are responsible for dealing with their disappointments in you not making the decision they wanted you to make, while you need to be able to live your own life as makes the most sense for yourself.


----------



## Inveniet

Jennywocky said:


> I understand you feel you've had some legitimate life experience, but you're in a thread called "I'm a Woman - Ask me Anything" -- i.e., this is a thread about female perspectives. And it was bothersome to read a comment by a man saying:
> 
> 
> 
> That's really not a far cry from "She said no, but i could tell she really meant yes because I know what she REALLY wants." So don't be surprised if you get some pushback on a comment like that one.


Yes I get that this is a touchy area.
People having different levels of power depending on their knowledge and experience can really be a tricky issue.

I will leave, if Jung has taught me anything it is that certain things *cannot and will not be resolved.*


----------



## sraddatz

hornet said:


> Making assertions about what a stranger on the internet know and don't is not very wise. :tongue:
> What I'm noticing is based on years of experience not some article I read somewhere.
> I know what I know, if you can't handle that, *that is your problem.*
> The green light reference makes me wonder if you have the whole thing upside down.
> I'm not debating if these are green lights, but *the dilemma of knowing that other people are hurt by your actions,
> but proceeding anyway, cause if you don't you are a prisoner of others emotional whims.*


So have you been able to have these girls make serious advancements towards you?


----------



## badwolf

*As much as people praise large breasts, and despite being attracted to them myself, I can't help but think that, when the time came, they would just be more of an obstacle than anything else. *

*Opinions? Experiences? *


----------



## carlaviii

tanstaafl28 said:


> Are underwires as uncomfortable as they look?


When they dig into your ribs or the ends randomly poke you in the arms, yes. But most of the time, they're reasonably comfortable. The improved support is worth it -- there's just no way a soft cup bra can do a proper job, above a certain size. (proper = the front center of the bra rests against your breastbone)


----------



## tanstaafl28

carlaviii said:


> When they dig into your ribs or the ends randomly poke you in the arms, yes. But most of the time, they're reasonably comfortable. The improved support is worth it -- there's just no way a soft cup bra can do a proper job, above a certain size. (proper = the front center of the bra rests against your breastbone)


Thanks for your input. I always wondered about that.


----------



## carlaviii

badwolf said:


> *As much as people praise large breasts, and despite being attracted to them myself, I can't help but think that, when the time came, they would just be more of an obstacle than anything else. *
> 
> *Opinions? Experiences? *


...nobody's complained yet, lol. Guys who like 'em big seem to like everything about them. What do you mean by "obstacle"?


----------



## Jennywocky

tanstaafl28 said:


> Are underwires as uncomfortable as they look?


It depends on the bra.
(Which is why it's important to try them on.)
I have found a few brands + models that do well for me.

The discomfort usually only shows up if it's going to after much of the day is over, and then it's nice to take it off when I'm alone.

Some people can get away without using heavy underwires.


----------



## tanstaafl28

carlaviii said:


> ...nobody's complained yet, lol. Guys who like 'em big seem to like everything about them. What do you mean by "obstacle"?


If large breasts are an "obstacle," I'm all for running the course. :tongue:


----------



## Mr.Venture

Oof! I'm sure there are many obstacles to running a well-done version of this, but is there a similar thread to "I Am A Guy - Ask Me Anything"? I'm asking here on the off chance that the posters on this thread might know just 'cause we're all interested in gender. I'd like to be a contributor, and maybe help keep the perspective on my gender 3-D.

Apologies if it ain't exactly on topic, but if there's more then one, I figure this also a good place to get a recommendation. Thanks all.


----------



## sraddatz

Mr.Venture said:


> Oof! I'm sure there are many obstacles to running a well-done version of this, but is there a similar thread to "I Am A Guy - Ask Me Anything"? I'm asking here on the off chance that the posters on this thread might know just 'cause we're all interested in gender. I'd like to be a contributor, and maybe help keep the perspective on my gender 3-D.
> 
> Apologies if it ain't exactly on topic, but if there's more then one, I figure this also a good place to get a recommendation. Thanks all.


There is a thread out there like you described. This one is a lot more fun.


----------



## Mr.Venture

sraddatz said:


> There is a thread out there like you described. This one is a lot more fun.


Ha 

Thing is, when I have a question, I already ask the women I know. That, or I just listen when they talk. I work in a field dominated by the opposite sex where people talk a lot as it is. ;-)


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

badwolf said:


> *As much as people praise large breasts, and despite being attracted to them myself, I can't help but think that, when the time came, they would just be more of an obstacle than anything else. *
> 
> *Opinions? Experiences? *


They're overrated imo. More trouble than they're worth. For me personally I don't get the fascination. Men always believe bigger is always better though. Boys and their toys.


----------



## badwolf

carlaviii said:


> ...nobody's complained yet, lol. Guys who like 'em big seem to like everything about them. What do you mean by "obstacle"?


Well, I have zero experience in this area, so forgive me if I sound naive, but it just seems to me like they would get in the way during sex, foreplay, etc.


----------



## sraddatz

isingthebodyelectric said:


> They're overrated imo. More trouble than they're worth. For me personally I don't get the fascination. Men always believe bigger is always better though. Boys and their toys.


It's true. so bigger isn't always better?


----------



## carlaviii

badwolf said:


> Well, I have zero experience in this area, so forgive me if I sound naive, but it just seems to me like they would get in the way during sex, foreplay, etc.


Actually, those are about the only times they don't get in the way. Or, it's not annoying that they do. 

Hey, give them a try if you get the chance and then decide for yourself. Nothing wrong with preferring small breasts.


----------



## Mystic MagentaRose

carlaviii said:


> Actually, those are about the only times they don't get in the way. Or, it's not annoying that they do.
> 
> Hey, give them a try if you get the chance and then decide for yourself. Nothing wrong with preferring small breasts.


My bra size is 36B and I'm pretty proud of them. :kitteh:


----------



## sraddatz

carlaviii said:


> Actually, those are about the only times they don't get in the way. Or, it's not annoying that they do.
> 
> Hey, give them a try if you get the chance and then decide for yourself. Nothing wrong with preferring small breasts.


I have my reservations about posting responses in this forum, mostly because I'm not a woman. I do have to say that when I was a teenager, I was all about boobs. They had to be at least a D for me to be interested. Now that I've grown a bit older and wiser, I realize there are tons of women with small breasts that are sexy as hell. What makes them sexy? Confidence! A woman that knows whatshe wants out of life and commands respect is so much sexier than a bimbo with huge boobs. 

PS I still love big boobs! They are lots of fun!


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

sraddatz said:


> It's true. so bigger isn't always better?


No.



> I do have to say that when I was a teenager, I was all about boobs. They had to be at least a D for me to be interested


See, I don't get that. People will say 'Oh, it's preference. People are allowed to have preferences for big breasts'. I think it's out of order to ONLY prefer big breasts; you're missing out on a lot of intelligent, worthwhile sexy women who have smaller breasts just because someone discriminates against them. There's preference and there's outright discrimination. We're not lesser because we have less.


----------



## sraddatz

isingthebodyelectric said:


> No.
> 
> 
> See, I don't get that. People will say 'Oh, it's preference. People are allowed to have preferences for big breasts'. I think it's out of order to ONLY prefer big breasts; you're missing out on a lot of intelligent, worthwhile sexy women who have smaller breasts just because someone discriminates against them. There's preference and there's outright discrimination. We're not lesser because we have less.


I agree. It just took me a while to get there. It's entirely possible for a woman with small boobs to be sexy as hell.


----------



## monemi

tanstaafl28 said:


> Are underwires as uncomfortable as they look?


Depends on the bra and the fit. Being the right size doesn't necessarily mean it will conform nicely to my body shape. The best thing to do is try on as many as it takes until you find the ones that are comfortable. And then, when you find the one that fits right, you marry it! Wait, no... You buy it!


----------



## tanstaafl28

monemi said:


> Depends on the bra and the fit. Being the right size doesn't necessarily mean it will conform nicely to my body shape. The best thing to do is try on as many as it takes until you find the ones that are comfortable. And then, when you find the one that fits right, you marry it! Wait, no... You buy it!


I like your avatar. Brash and humorous.


----------



## petite libellule

tanstaafl28 said:


> Are underwires as uncomfortable as they look?


Yes. Yes they are.


----------



## qingdom

qingdom said:


> How many stuffed animals do you possess?



So I asked this question last year, right.... I'm going to leave this one here... lalala~

http://www.costco.com/93-inch-plush-bear.html?langId=-1


----------



## monemi

qingdom said:


> How many stuffed animals do you possess?
> So I asked this question last year, right.... I'm going to leave this one here... lalala~
> 
> http://www.costco.com/93-inch-plush-bear.html?langId=-1


I don't own any stuffed animals. I don't really 'get' the point. None of my kids played with their teddy bears when they were babies, toddlers or now. So know one plays with them. No one holds them. People buy them, I wait for them to collect dust and then donate them. I didn't have dummy/pacifier/blankie/thumb sucking or anything like that. Neither did my kids. My husband apparently had a blankie according to his mother but she said he stopped using that as a toddler.

Stuffed animals and the like are foreign concepts to me.


----------



## nO_d3N1AL

What's the most annoying or incorrect stereotype men believe is true of women?


----------



## monemi

nO_d3N1AL said:


> What's the most annoying or incorrect stereotype men believe is true of women?


That all of us get PMS every month. I never had a regular period that shows up every month. I've had guys at work attribute a bad day to me having PMS and I hadn't had a period in 4 months and it took another 2 months before I had one. 6 months without a period and I was accused of having PMS? Usually it doesn't take that long to have a period, but when I'm experiencing too much stress, I don't have one. Even when I do have periods, their short and light without cramps. 

Some of us are pretty lucky and periods really aren't a big deal. And if it's bad timing (stress or haven't been taking good care of ourselves), our body just won't waste our resources on a period. I don't feel comfortable telling people this IRL when they assume to know what happens to every woman every month. Or that every woman experiences PMS. Some women do, some women don't. 

It's an annoying stereotype that indicates men don't actually know that not every woman's body has the exact same patterns.


----------



## Flowerpot92

How well do you cope with the pressure to be beautiful at all times?


----------



## carlaviii

Flowerpot92 said:


> How well do you cope with the pressure to be beautiful at all times?


It doesn't bother me at all -- I just ignore it.


----------



## Jennywocky

qingdom said:


> _How many stuffed animals do you possess?_
> 
> 
> 
> So I asked this question last year, right.... I'm going to leave this one here... lalala~
> 
> http://www.costco.com/93-inch-plush-bear.html?langId=-1
Click to expand...

I have a great white shark stuffed animal I bought at Ikea.
And I have an elephant.

I would like to pad this sick menagerie out with either a lemur, an orangutan, a walking stick, an anteater, or some other absurd creature.


----------



## petite libellule

Flowerpot92 said:


> How well do you cope with the pressure to be beautiful at all times?


Im actually Not. Some relatives give me shit about it. It's not that I don't know how. I clean up nice and do so when I go out. I love shoes and purses but I'm not blowing all my cash on that. I like heels because I'm short, but the fuck if I'm wearing those daily. I don't need to dress up for work and never have (always had a job that required scrubs). I throw my hair in a pony or sloppy bun daily. I bathe in sunscreen. That's as much pressure as I'll endure.  ok. I'm lying. I go through phases with that where I'm good and then not. I'm fair skinned and don't tan so don't really spend that much time in the sun. All that happens is ugly freckles are more noticeable. I had a lady try to sell me an 80$ product once to get rid of my freckles (that they would fade) when I bought make up last. I was like, lady. While I'm not a fan of my skin tone, I'm not hating on it THAT much. Besides. If I do a belly float in the pool, I look like a dead corpse with my skin so white in water. And then if someone were to jump in to save me, I could be like, "Ha!! Just joking!"


----------



## sraddatz

ningsta kitty said:


> Im actually Not. Some relatives give me shit about it. It's not that I don't know how. I clean up nice and do so when I go out. I love shoes and purses but I'm not blowing all my cash on that. I like heels because I'm short, but the fuck if I'm wearing those daily. I don't need to dress up for work and never have (always had a job that required scrubs). I throw my hair in a pony or sloppy bun daily. I bathe in sunscreen. That's as much pressure as I'll endure.  ok. I'm lying. I go through phases with that where I'm good and then not. I'm fair skinned and don't tan so don't really spend that much time in the sun. All that happens is ugly freckles are more noticeable. I had a lady try to sell me an 80$ product once to get rid of my freckles (that they would fade) when I bought make up last. I was like, lady. While I'm not a fan of my skin tone, I'm not hating on it THAT much. Besides. If I do a belly float in the pool, I look like a dead corpse with my skin so white in water. And then if someone were to jump in to save me, I could be like, "Ha!! Just joking!"


My youngest daughter has freckles and red hair. I just figure it's part of what makes her original. I think she's beautiful.


----------



## petite libellule

sraddatz said:


> My youngest daughter has freckles and red hair. I just figure it's part of what makes her original. I think she's beautiful.


*warm fuzzy* thank you.


----------



## Flowerpot92

@ningsta kitty, that was the cutest post ever !

Well I am not the most self centered person in the world but let's say my country is as bad as South Korea when it comes to attractiveness...


----------



## carlaviii

Freckles are awesome! Why would anybody want to get rid of freckles?


----------



## sraddatz

Can I ask about opinions on the supreme court hobby lobby ruling? Would you ladies rather stay out of all things political? I realize thus may be a hot button, so if you ask me to, I'll delete the question.


----------



## monemi

sraddatz said:


> Can I ask about opinions on the supreme court hobby lobby ruling? Would you ladies rather stay out of all things political? I realize thus may be a hot button, so if you ask me to, I'll delete the question.


I think it's foolish. Do you have any idea how much more expensive it is for a health plan to pay for a pregnancy, childbirth and a child? 

If a health plan doesn't cover birth control, they're idiots.


----------



## sraddatz

monemi said:


> I think it's foolish. Do you have any idea how much more expensive it is for a health plan to pay for a pregnancy, childbirth and a child?
> 
> If a health plan doesn't cover birth control, they're idiots.


The cost for our last child to be born was more than $15,000. We had awesome insurance at the time. Our copay was 500. I know you were being rhetorical, but it's just ridiculous.


----------



## sraddatz

monemi said:


> I think it's foolish. Do you have any idea how much more expensive it is for a health plan to pay for a pregnancy, childbirth and a child?
> 
> If a health plan doesn't cover birth control, they're idiots.


It's also important for a woman's overall health. To get the pills, you have to have annual check ups. Those visits are one of the easiest ways to detect cervical and uterine cancers.


----------



## monemi

sraddatz said:


> It's also important for a woman's overall health. To get the pills, you have to have annual check ups. Those visits are one of the easiest ways to detect cervical and uterine cancers.


I get those without being on the pill. It seems to me demanding full check-ups is holding birth control hostage from women. How many women won't go on the pill because they won't do the physical OB/GYN's demand go with it? If anything, they're limiting how many women are willing to go on birth control. How many men would go for anti-biotics if they knew they had to do a rectal exam first? One of the reasons for lower income women not using birth control is not submitting to pelvic exams.


----------



## sraddatz

monemi said:


> I get those without being on the pill. It seems to me demanding full check-ups is holding birth control hostage from women. How many women won't go on the pill because they won't do the physical OB/GYN's demand go with it? If anything, they're limiting how many women are willing to go on birth control. How many men would go for anti-biotics if they knew they had to do a rectal exam first? One of the reasons for lower income women not using birth control is not submitting to pelvic exams.


If I remember correctly, you currently live in Canada. Are things radically different there in regards to this issue?


----------



## petite libellule

Flowerpot92 said:


> @_ningsta kitty_, that was the cutest post ever !
> 
> Well I am not the most self centered person in the world but let's say my country is as bad as South Korea when it comes to attractiveness...


Uh. Listen to this one, about six years ago I was with a girl, who for whatever reason, whenever I meet new female friends, they treat me like some sort of doll, and she wanted to do my make up. At one point she stopped putting on the make up and said, hold on, you have something on your face. So there she was with the tissue in hand, wiping my face over and over really hard. Eventually I got super irritated and shooed her away like she was a bee or something. GTFO me. I sit up and look into the mirror. And I Said, thats a freckle!! 

True story.


----------



## Flowerpot92

ningsta kitty said:


> Uh. Listen to this one, about six years ago I was with a girl, who for whatever reason, whenever I meet new female friends, they treat me like some sort of doll, and she wanted to do my make. At one point she stopped putting on the make up and said, hold on, you have something on your face. So there she was with the tissue in hand, wiping my face over and over really hard. Eventually I got super irritated and shooed her away like she was a bee or something. GTFO me. I sit up and look into the mirror. And I Said, thats a freckle!!
> 
> True story.


Waaaaaow. That's just nuts. I would have disliked her on the spot...


----------



## petite libellule

carlaviii said:


> Freckles are awesome! Why would anybody want to get rid of freckles?


I'll sell you them one dollar per freckle. $10 for each dimple


----------



## Snakecharmer

nO_d3N1AL said:


> What's the most annoying or incorrect stereotype men believe is true of women?


That we are all overly emotional and dramatic.


----------



## Snakecharmer

ningsta kitty said:


> *warm fuzzy* thank you.


I have freckles and red hair too (well, auburn).


----------



## ai.tran.75

nO_d3N1AL said:


> What's the most annoying or incorrect stereotype men believe is true of women?


That we're all needy, jealous and fearful


----------



## Snakecharmer

carlaviii said:


> Freckles are awesome! Why would anybody want to get rid of freckles?


Years ago, I went to a Mary Kay lady's house with my friend because she was trying out makeup for her wedding. The woman looked at me and said "I can show you how to cover those up." I said, "Uh, cover WHAT up?" She said, "Your freckles, you know..."

I wanted to say "You live in a pink house and drive a pink car, and you have a problem with freckles?"


----------



## Snakecharmer

sraddatz said:


> Can I ask about opinions on the supreme court hobby lobby ruling? Would you ladies rather stay out of all things political? I realize thus may be a hot button, so if you ask me to, I'll delete the question.


I don't think any company should be forced to pay for anything for employees.


----------



## carlaviii

sraddatz said:


> Can I ask about opinions on the supreme court hobby lobby ruling? Would you ladies rather stay out of all things political? I realize thus may be a hot button, so if you ask me to, I'll delete the question.


I think that health insurance should have nothing to do with employment. Hell, there shouldn't even be health insurance. Healthcare should be socialized and paid for by the government. And since controlling ones family size is good for everybody's health, birth control shuld not even be an issue.


----------



## sraddatz

carlaviii said:


> I think that health insurance should have nothing to do with employment. Hell, there shouldn't even be health insurance. Healthcare should be socialized and paid for by the government. And since controlling ones family size is good for everybody's health, birth control shuld not even be an issue.


That's my take, too. The countries with socialized health care are, gasp!, fucking healthier than we are in America. I was just curious if women were really pissed off about that ruling.


----------



## carlaviii

sraddatz said:


> That's my take, too. The countries with socialized health care are, gasp!, fucking healthier than we are in America. I was just curious if women were really pissed off about that ruling.


I'm angry about it in that it's stupid and does not fix anything.


----------



## monemi

sraddatz said:


> If I remember correctly, you currently live in Canada. Are things radically different there in regards to this issue?


Either your family Dr will prescribe you the pill or will refer you to a gynecologist. And they're not any better than the US with regards to this here. A mistake if you ask me. The pill has a failure rate of 9% with typical use and condoms have a failure rate of 18% with typical use. Withdrawal has a failure rate of 22%. Comparison of birth control methods - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia The most effective methods of contraception are controlled by the medical community and those who could most benefit from contraception (living in poverty) whether you offer it low cost or free are the least likely to access it when required to submit to pelvic exams. I see that as mismanagement.

ETA: medication is paid out of pocket in Canada unless it's something like cancer drugs. The vast majority of employers have benefits that cover meds, but usually at 80% of cost. I might be wrong, but most employers cover birth control because it's not to their benefit if employees get pregnant. Mine certainly covered it. 

There's a combination of problems in low income neighbourhoods. Lack of access to birth control, plus those that are wary of doctors (authority figures) to start with.


----------



## sraddatz

monemi said:


> Either your family Dr will prescribe you the pill or will refer you to a gynecologist. And they're not any better than the US with regards to this here. A mistake if you ask me. The pill has a failure rate of 9% with typical use and condoms have a failure rate of 18% with typical use. Withdrawal has a failure rate of 22%. Comparison of birth control methods - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia The most effective methods of contraception are controlled by the medical community and those who could most benefit from contraception (living in poverty) whether you offer it low cost or free are the least likely to access it when required to submit to pelvic exams. I see that as mismanagement.
> 
> ETA: medication is paid out of pocket in Canada unless it's something like cancer drugs. The vast majority of employers have benefits that cover meds, but usually at 80% of cost. I might be wrong, but most employers cover birth control because it's not to their benefit if employees get pregnant. Mine certainly covered it.
> 
> There's a combination of problems in low income neighbourhoods. Lack of access to birth control, plus those that are wary of doctors (authority figures) to start with.


Yeah, sounds an awful lot like the US. Not very good. So women's health is an issue the world over. 

Maybe I could help out and offer free exams. I'm a fan of vaginas, you know! ;-)


----------



## monemi

sraddatz said:


> Yeah, sounds an awful lot like the US. Not very good. So women's health is an issue the world over.
> 
> Maybe I could help out and offer free exams. I'm a fan of vaginas, you know! ;-)


Just remembered a couple of differences here. Sterilization is covered and abortion is covered by provincial healthcare.


----------



## sraddatz

Is there a tactful way to ask her to "trim the hedges"? Clearly I was a little too blunt.


----------



## monemi

sraddatz said:


> Is there a tactful way to ask her to "trim the hedges"? Clearly I was a little too blunt.


Invite her to go swimming in public places. She'll need to trim for the swimsuit.


----------



## sraddatz

monemi said:


> Invite her to go swimming in public places. She'll need to trim for the swimsuit.


Genius!


----------



## Flowerpot92

How do you feel about giving birth? Because it effing scares me.


----------



## monemi

Flowerpot92 said:


> How do you feel about giving birth? Because it effing scares me.


I've done childbirth three times. The first time was the scariest. I learned to listen to my body during labour. I learned to relax and just let it happen. To work with it, not to block it out or try to control what my body is doing. To not let fear control me because during labour, fear is sinking sand. Don't try to tough it out, I found it was better to see it as letting the waves (contractions) picking me up and floating on them. 

I'm not a fan of childbirth. I'm not a fan of pain. But childbirth was okay and got easier when I let go of fear. The more fear, the more pain. The less fear, the less pain. At least, that's how it worked for me.


----------



## ai.tran.75

Flowerpot92 said:


> How do you feel about giving birth? Because it effing scares me.


Well with my son it was quite easy - I was in labor for 10 hours (i was induced) and he came out in 4 push - less than 5 minutes. The contraction were intense but the push didn't hurt much - I say the first trimester was most exhausting for me.


----------



## .17485

How do you feel about a guy approaching you on the street? For example if your waiting for the bus at the bus stop or just walking somewhere like the park or shopping centre.


----------



## ai.tran.75

Tega1 said:


> How do you feel about a guy approaching you on the street? For example if your waiting for the bus at the bus stop or just walking somewhere like the park or shopping centre.


Depends on the approach and if I feel any chemistry with the guy or not


----------



## 7rr7s

What is the cutest thing a guy has ever said to you? 

What do you feel is the most important element for a successful long term relationship? 

How do you feel about happy meals?


----------



## ai.tran.75

KindOfBlue06 said:


> What is the cutest thing a guy has ever said to you?
> 
> What do you feel is the most important element for a successful long term relationship?
> 
> How do you feel about happy meals?


Cutest thing a guy has ever said to me 
When my istp asked me out (this was more than 9 years ago- I was still in my teens ) 
"So what are we now?" He asked me 
" I don't know - whatever you want us to be"
" you sure about that"
" uh huh " I said
" ok , you can be my gf "
" ok" I told him
Then he laughed " oh my bad that's not a proper way to ask a girl out - ahem will you be my gf ?" 

I thought that was cute 

Trust and communication is most important for a successful long term relationship 

I collect the happy meal toys - now my son does


----------



## prplchknz

do you think the word woman came about cuz a man was around a woman he had recently pissed off, and he was all like "woah man. calm down" and it stuck?


----------



## Stendhal

prplchknz said:


> do you think the word woman came about cuz a man was around a woman he had recently pissed off, and he was all like "woah man. calm down" and it stuck?


That's so terrible it's almost awesome lol!


----------



## Stendhal

Is it strange that as I guy, I have always found it strange that men find women confusing?


----------



## prplchknz

Stendhal said:


> That's so terrible it's almost awesome lol!


wait terrible offensive? or terrible as in extremely lame?


----------



## donkeybals

^^ Terribly awesome. Maybe you are right, but always thought of it as a guy was impressed with the female body and was like "woah! man"

Glad I'm not the only one who thinks of things, although would be a lot cooler if I was. XD


----------



## prplchknz

donkeybals said:


> ^^ Terribly awesome. Maybe you are right, but always thought of it as a guy was impressed with the female body and was like "woah! man"
> 
> Glad I'm not the only one who thinks of things, although would be a lot cooler if I was. XD


could go either way, maybe a poll to get the humans opinions on which it is?


----------



## donkeybals

Why not? Unless you want your cat/chicken to take the poll as well.


----------



## prplchknz

donkeybals said:


> Why not? Unless you want your cat/chicken to take the poll as well.


done! hah! http://personalitycafe.com/member-polls/339370-origin-word-woman-more-likely.html#post10707842 in your face. boo yah!


----------



## donkeybals




----------



## Stendhal

prplchknz said:


> wait terrible offensive? or terrible as in extremely lame?


More terrible as in NNNOOOO! lol!


----------



## monemi

Tega1 said:


> How do you feel about a guy approaching you on the street? For example if your waiting for the bus at the bus stop or just walking somewhere like the park or shopping centre.


Are there other people around? If there are other people around, I'm fine. Alone, I get tense.


----------



## .17485

monemi said:


> Are there other people around? If there are other people around, I'm fine. Alone, I get tense.


Hmm that's a good question. Probably if she's just by herself and there's just passerby. I think it's harder if her friends are with her


----------



## monemi

Tega1 said:


> Hmm that's a good question. Probably if she's just by herself and there's just passerby. I think it's harder if her friends are with her


I'm fine if there are passersby around. Empty parking lot and the such is going to make me wary of any strangers approaching me. Women included.


----------



## Flowerpot92

KindOfBlue06 said:


> What is the cutest thing a guy has ever said to you?
> 
> What do you feel is the most important element for a successful long term relationship?
> 
> How do you feel about happy meals?


I don't have anything in mind right now. Guys don't usually say cute stuff. My ex sometimes called me honey bunny, and I loved it very much :3 . Oh yes! he said I was the kindest person he ever met and that he was amazed everyone I met always loved me. That was so very sweet...

Mutual acceptance, being on the same grounds financially and continually improving sex life. Those three put together are my definition of a functional relationship.

Happy meals? As in McDonalds happy meals? Boy I loved those, still do but I'm too scared to buy one for myself at 21... also when you discover independent burger restaurants with tasty tasty juicy juicy sweet incredible real gigantic burgers with goose fat fried potato chips (I am salivating), you cannot ever go back to regular burgers. You just can't.


----------



## Flowerpot92

Repost, sorry guys !

Girls, did you ever find a kiss-proof red lipstick?


----------



## sraddatz

I am a consensus kind of guy. I need some help on a situation I created. I was going to meet someone I met online that happens to live somewhat close to me. I didn't meet her from a dating site. This person happens to be a female. I told my wife about the meeting before I went. I wanted her to know so she wouldn't think I was trying to have an affair. Any way, she got really pissed. Any tips on how to smooth this over?


----------



## HellCat

sraddatz said:


> I am a consensus kind of guy. I need some help on a situation I created. I was going to meet someone I met online that happens to live somewhat close to me. I didn't meet her from a dating site. This person happens to be a female. I told my wife about the meeting before I went. I wanted her to know so she wouldn't think I was trying to have an affair. Any way, she got really pissed. Any tips on how to smooth this over?



You smooth it over realizing you fucked up by having a close female friend, close enough to want to meet in person. That you did not tell your partner about. It looks fishy. 

You have talked many times on here about issues with your wife. You guys already sound rocky when you discuss her. You might want to consider marriage counseling this time.

There has to be transparency, respect and accountability in a relationship.

Imagine how you would feel if she had a secret male friend she made plans to go meet. Without ever telling you he existed. That she was close enough emotionally to desire to hang out in person. 

I imagine you would be fuming. 

The only way to be in a relationship is absolute accountability, transparency and respect. Did you keep it from her out of fear? a need to keep a secret ? or because you did not think it was a big deal? 

She is likely freaking out that you could keep a friendship a secret at all.

I am very down to earth and self confident but I have to tell you. if a man did that to me I would divorce his ass.

I don't do disrespect. 

But if I was told hey I met this cool chick we have xyz in common, do you have any objections to her? I would have to vet her for myself first because some women are just shady, competitive and would try to drive a wedge or just cause drama. But if she was a decent one, there was a truly platonic b rother/sister vibe. There would be no issue.


----------



## ai.tran.75

sraddatz said:


> I am a consensus kind of guy. I need some help on a situation I created. I was going to meet someone I met online that happens to live somewhat close to me. I didn't meet her from a dating site. This person happens to be a female. I told my wife about the meeting before I went. I wanted her to know so she wouldn't think I was trying to have an affair. Any way, she got really pissed. Any tips on how to smooth this over?


Why is she mad ? If you have no intention on cheating or no attraction towards this other woman then you should be the one offended about her not trusting you . Perhaps switch the table around - how would you feel if your wife was to meetup with a male online friend ?


----------



## sraddatz

LeoCat said:


> You smooth it over realizing you fucked up by having a close female friend, close enough to want to meet in person. That you did not tell your partner about. It looks fishy.
> 
> You have talked many times on here about issues with your wife. You guys already sound rocky when you discuss her. You might want to consider marriage counseling this time.
> 
> There has to be transparency, respect and accountability in a relationship.
> 
> Imagine how you would feel if she had a secret male friend she made plans to go meet. Without ever telling you he existed. That she was close enough emotionally to desire to hang out in person.
> 
> I imagine you would be fuming.
> 
> The only way to be in a relationship is absolute accountability, transparency and respect. Did you keep it from her out of fear? a need to keep a secret ? or because you did not think it was a big deal?
> 
> She is likely freaking out that you could keep a friendship a secret at all.
> 
> I am very down to earth and self confident but I have to tell you. if a man did that to me I would divorce his ass.
> 
> I don't do disrespect.
> 
> But if I was told hey I met this cool chick we have xyz in common, do you have any objections to her? I would have to vet her for myself first because some women are just shady, competitive and would try to drive a wedge or just cause drama. But if she was a decent one, there was a truly platonic b rother/sister vibe. There would be no issue.


This all came about very fast. Within the span of a week or so. We haven't become close friends online. 

My intentions were entirely innocent. I think I was able to clarify to my wife tonight through our conversations. I just thought I was doing the right thing by telling my wife before we met. 

We have visited a counselor in the past. I think this event shows we might need to start that up again.


----------



## monemi

Flowerpot92 said:


> Girls, did you ever find a kiss-proof red lipstick?


Nope. But you can get cosmetic tattoo's. You could just get your favourite colour tattooed onto your lips. I've seen it with eyeliner and it's actually hard to tell apart from regular make-up.


----------



## sraddatz

LeoCat said:


> You smooth it over realizing you fucked up by having a close female friend, close enough to want to meet in person. That you did not tell your partner about. It looks fishy.
> 
> You have talked many times on here about issues with your wife. You guys already sound rocky when you discuss her. You might want to consider marriage counseling this time.
> 
> There has to be transparency, respect and accountability in a relationship.
> 
> Imagine how you would feel if she had a secret male friend she made plans to go meet. Without ever telling you he existed. That she was close enough emotionally to desire to hang out in person.
> 
> I imagine you would be fuming.
> 
> The only way to be in a relationship is absolute accountability, transparency and respect. Did you keep it from her out of fear? a need to keep a secret ? or because you did not think it was a big deal?
> 
> She is likely freaking out that you could keep a friendship a secret at all.
> 
> I am very down to earth and self confident but I have to tell you. if a man did that to me I would divorce his ass.
> 
> I don't do disrespect.
> 
> But if I was told hey I met this cool chick we have xyz in common, do you have any objections to her? I would have to vet her for myself first because some women are just shady, competitive and would try to drive a wedge or just cause drama. But if she was a decent one, there was a truly platonic b rother/sister vibe. There would be no issue.


I feel like I need to explain a bit more. I don't want you to think I'm a dirt bag, even though you might already.

The way this happened was this girl found out we live in the same city. Within the next day or two, we decided that a meeting would be a possibility. There really was no "get to know you" beforehand. I was going to do that over lunch. There was no emotional connection. 

I thought of inviting her out to my house to meet my family, but knew she'd have to be stupid to do that. I thought about asking my wife to join me, but who would watch the kids? How do you explain that to the MIL?!

that's why I decided it would be best to meet her alone, but tell my wife before I went. I've never met anyone in person that I've talked to exclusively online. I think this was just me learning a very important lesson. And I'll admit I'm naive, and a little stupid, when it comes to this stuff. I hope that makes it sound better.


----------



## HellCat

sraddatz said:


> I feel like I need to explain a bit more. I don't want you to think I'm a dirt bag, even though you might already.
> 
> The way this happened was this girl found out we live in the same city. Within the next day or two, we decided that a meeting would be a possibility. There really was no "get to know you" beforehand. I was going to do that over lunch. There was no emotional connection.
> 
> I thought of inviting her out to my house to meet my family, but knew she'd have to be stupid to do that. I thought about asking my wife to join me, but who would watch the kids? How do you explain that to the MIL?!
> 
> that's why I decided it would be best to meet her alone, but tell my wife before I went. I've never met anyone in person that I've talked to exclusively online. I think this was just me learning a very important lesson. And I'll admit I'm naive, and a little stupid, when it comes to this stuff. I hope that makes it sound better.


You don't "tell" your wife. You "ask" her. 

Marriage is a sort of contract where both have to remain accountable. You "own" each other. Adding something to the environment that could potentially imbalance it without consulting is never wise. 

I have a lot of male friends. I would never disrespect someone I actually committed to by hanging out with them without first asking if I were married. It is weird to me you did not want to bring your wife. 

Who cares if you need a babysitter. As for "what would I tell my mother in law" That is a suspicious argument. 

I hope you carefully examine your true feelings and what lead you to keep it from her, making plans without a discussion. Because nobody deserves to be in a marriage with someone who does not respect them and desire only them. Unless they are into poly.


----------



## monemi

sraddatz said:


> I feel like I need to explain a bit more. I don't want you to think I'm a dirt bag, even though you might already.
> 
> The way this happened was this girl found out we live in the same city. Within the next day or two, we decided that a meeting would be a possibility. There really was no "get to know you" beforehand. I was going to do that over lunch. There was no emotional connection.
> 
> I thought of inviting her out to my house to meet my family, but knew she'd have to be stupid to do that. I thought about asking my wife to join me, but who would watch the kids? How do you explain that to the MIL?!
> 
> that's why I decided it would be best to meet her alone, but tell my wife before I went. I've never met anyone in person that I've talked to exclusively online. I think this was just me learning a very important lesson. And I'll admit I'm naive, and a little stupid, when it comes to this stuff. I hope that makes it sound better.


It was probably a mistake. Each relationship has different comfort levels. I don't see it as me and my husband 'owning' each other. We do respect each others boundaries. I might push his buttons lots but there are certain things that just aren't okay. The meet up sounded pretty awkward. Clearly your wife didn't approve. So moving on, you'll know to discuss with her before agreeing to meet up with people.


----------



## sraddatz

monemi said:


> It was probably a mistake. Each relationship has different comfort levels. I don't see it as me and my husband 'owning' each other. We do respect each others boundaries. I might push his buttons lots but there are certain things that just aren't okay. The meet up sounded pretty awkward. Clearly your wife didn't approve. So moving on, you'll know to discuss with her before agreeing to meet up with people.


Exactly! It was a tough lesson to learn


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

I've had way too many sexual opportunities with young ladies this summer. 
It's kinda freaking me out & making me a little bit paranoid lately.
I've been pondering the chances of whether I'm being set-up to cheat & if so why.


----------



## TheProphetLaLa

stargazing grasshopper said:


> I've had way too many sexual opportunities with young ladies this summer.
> It's kinda freaking me out & making me a little bit paranoid lately.
> I've been pondering the chances of whether I'm being set-up to cheat & if so why.


Ahhhhh...my fickle pickle friend. I'll give you a gentle reminder that in the end the only person that can set you up to cheat is your own self. Don't lose sight of that and start weighing yourself down with pointless but potentially truthful conspiracies.


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

TheProphetLaLa said:


> Ahhhhh...my fickle pickle friend. I'll give you a gentle reminder that in the end the only person that can set you up to cheat is your own self. Don't lose sight of that and start weighing yourself down with pointless but potentially truthful conspiracies.


I've enjoyed the attention but haven't betrayed my marriage or dishonored myself. 
I've noticed that I'm becoming more insecure now that our children are grown.


----------



## TheProphetLaLa

stargazing grasshopper said:


> I've enjoyed the attention but haven't betrayed my marriage or dishonored myself.
> I've noticed that I'm becoming more insecure now that our children are grown & gone away to pursue their education. I'd guess that the thought my spouse could have done much better always lurked in the back of my mind & sometimes pondered whether our children were the glue that kept us tightly bound together.


Its not about dishonoring yourself though young grasshopper. Its about what you value, what makes you happy, and what you can live with. I wouldn't dare be so presumptuous as to assume I know anything about your situation whatsoever, but from what you've mentioned my suggestion would be to say these exact things that you're feeling to your wife. Will it make you look ridiculous? Maybe. Will you feel uncomfortable? I'm going to go with definitely. Either way you shouldn't forget that admitting your ridiculous insecurities to people are the things that bind you closer not some farce of perfection. If you're worried that your insecurities aren't ridiculous and she does in fact feel this way..I would say YOU are the one that deserves much better.


----------



## sraddatz

stargazing grasshopper said:


> I've enjoyed the attention but haven't betrayed my marriage or dishonored myself.
> I've noticed that I'm becoming more insecure now that our children are grown & gone away to pursue their education. I'd guess that the thought my spouse could have done much better always lurked in the back of my mind & sometimes pondered whether our children were the glue that kept us tightly bound together.


You've always thought she's too good for you, and somehow you won the lottery by marrying her? Do you feel unworthy of her? I think my wife feels that way sometimes. Seriously. 

Like you said, at the core of it all is insecurity. My wife is insecure, and always concerned about putting on appearances. I used to be, but as I've gotten a bit older, I came to realize that there are things about me that are quite exceptional. Can you say that for yourself?


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

sraddatz said:


> You've always thought she's too good for you, and somehow you won the lottery by marrying her? Do you feel unworthy of her? I think my wife feels that way sometimes. Seriously.
> 
> Like you said, at the core of it all is insecurity. My wife is insecure, and always concerned about putting on appearances. I used to be, but as I've gotten a bit older, I came to realize that there are things about me that are quite exceptional. Can you say that for yourself?


Physically & intellectually I'm moderately above average but far from exceptional.
I'd guess that my temperament, attitude & generosity are my best attributes but not worthy of being described as exceptional. I see friends splitting up after 15 - 20 years marriage & I wonder why they never saw it coming until their resentment had consumed their love for one another.




I'd guess that thinking of friends situation is causing me a bit of anxiety


----------



## sraddatz

stargazing grasshopper said:


> Physically & intellectually I'm moderately above average but far from exceptional.
> I'd guess that my temperament, attitude & generosity are my best attributes but not worthy of being described as exceptional. I see friends splitting up after 15 - 20 years marriage & I wonder why they never saw it coming until their resentment had consumed their love for one another.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'd guess that thinking of friends situation is causing me a bit of anxiety


So are you happy overall?


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

sraddatz said:


> So are you happy overall?


Sure I'm happy, hopefully I'm merely venting a bit of fear. I wasn't complaining regarding my situation but rather bouncing my anxiety off others to get their perspective. Thanks for the perspective.


----------



## sraddatz

stargazing grasshopper said:


> Sure I'm happy, hopefully I'm merely venting a bit of fear. I wasn't complaining regarding my situation but rather bouncing my anxiety off others to get their perspective. Thanks for the perspective.


So this is what's next, huh?


----------



## carlaviii

Wellsy said:


> What would you consider the ethics of sleeping with someone who shows clear signs of struggling to move on from a recently expired relationship?
> 
> Any thoughts on where the lines might be drawn.


If you're involved enough and care enough about someone's life to know both that they're struggling with a breakup and be concerned about their emotional state, I'd doubt it would be ethical to get sexually involved at all. That sort of rebound sex is better when it's with somebody who has no investment in the situation. Because sex with someone new can clarify one's feelings w/r/t an ex but it can go either way. You might get tossed aside... you might get latched onto like a life preserver to a drowning man.


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

Hypaspist said:


> Been there. Done that. I've seen women with mostly clean legs, but spots here and there missed. Didn't look too good and explains why I never saw them in shorts.


Thank God that I live in the US, women are usually either shaved or wear stockings.

Takes cover & ducks.


----------



## spylass

stargazing grasshopper said:


> Thank God that I live in the US, women are usually either shaved or wear stockings.
> 
> Takes cover & ducks.


Edit: I meant to quote @Hypaspist

Anyway, @Hypaspist how old are you? If I had to guess I'd say 15.


----------



## entheos

Wellsy said:


> What would you consider the ethics of sleeping with someone who shows clear signs of struggling to move on from a recently expired relationship?


Not sure if you mean my personal ethics, or universal ethics. In any case, I don't think it's wrong or right what other people do, meaning I don't think there's a universal moral thing where the person who senses that the one standing in front of them is struggling should do this or that.
For me personally, I wouldn't sleep with them. I'm not sure if it's tied to my ethics or not, I hadn't thought of it this way, it's just that my reaction to such a circumstances makes me feel compassionate for the person. I would be thinking that it's not fair or sane for either of us to get entangled like this, and I would encourage the person to deal with their stuff. And I'd walk away.


----------



## Hypaspist

spylass said:


> Edit: I meant to quote @_Hypaspist_
> 
> Anyway, @_Hypaspist_ how old are you? If I had to guess I'd say 15.


I kind of wish I could be that young and call mulligan on lots of things, but then again I'm glad I'm not that young anymore. I fall in the 21-29 age group.


----------



## Wellsy

So I found this thread and....

"Have you ever faked an orgasm? Why or why not?

Has your partner ever faked an orgasm (to your knowledge)? Why or why not?

Have you ever suspected your partner to have faked an orgasm? Why or why not?

How would you feel if your partner faked an orgasm during sex?

Would you ever tell your partner that you faked orgasms (if you had)?

Why would you fake orgasm (hypothetically)?

Why do you think people fake orgasm?

Would you ever fake orgasm?

What do you think of people who do fake orgasm?"


----------



## ai.tran.75

Wellsy said:


> So I found this thread and....
> 
> "Have you ever faked an orgasm? Why or why not?
> 
> Has your partner ever faked an orgasm (to your knowledge)? Why or why not?
> 
> Have you ever suspected your partner to have faked an orgasm? Why or why not?
> 
> How would you feel if your partner faked an orgasm during sex?
> 
> Would you ever tell your partner that you faked orgasms (if you had)?
> 
> Why would you fake orgasm (hypothetically)?
> 
> Why do you think people fake orgasm?
> 
> Would you ever fake orgasm?
> 
> What do you think of people who do fake orgasm?"


1. Yes - exhausted 
2.no - I have only had one partner and i know when he cums
3. Nope- It's quite obvious when he does
4.i couldn't care less - he's probably exhausted 
5. I have before when he asked me , don't think he cared nor was he surprised 
6. I'm guessing they're exhausted with sex or trying to make the other person cum faster 
7. Exhaustion - tired . 

--------------------------------------------------

Which mbti type/types are you most attracted to ?


----------



## entheos

Wellsy said:


> How would you feel if your partner faked an orgasm during sex?




Completely puzzled. I wouldn't _feel_ anything, it would be a mental thing, not emotional. I would just be confused as to why they thought they needed to pretend to be someone they're not -in this case pretend they're experiencing something that's not there- and wonder whether I played any part in this story they've created in their head. I would be interested in getting them to speak their truth at all times. I think my concerns with making sure the person can be true to themselves around me is because of the authenticity thing (infp, e4, blablabla)



> Would you ever tell your partner that you faked orgasms (if you had)?


Mmmmhhh yes but... given my lack of filters (as seen in PerC) and the extreme dificulty I have with lying or pretending, I don't think I'd ever be able to fake an orgasm. I mean... I'm extremely blunt in intimate scenarios, to the point of upsetting my partners and making them feel insecure. And I have no self control, I cannot pretend to save my life.




> Why would you fake orgasm (hypothetically)?


Ok, hypothetically... To not hurt their feelings.



> Why do you think people fake orgasm?



No idea, but my guesses are a.Obligation and 'let's get over this quickly', b.Not wanting to hurt feelings




> Would you ever fake orgasm?



_Ever_ is a long time. In this phase of life I would never, no. Ask me when I'm much older, tho, maybe my personality will evolve.. or something.




> What do you think of people who do fake orgasm?


Nothing. It's none of my business.




ai.tran.75 said:


> Which mbti type/types are you most attracted to ?


On paper:
NFs 
(NTs, SJs, SPs sound like nightmares)(keyword: sound)

What's happened in reality:
INFJ
INTJ
ENTP


----------



## qingdom

Some secrets are topics to never be discussed no matter the circumstance. True or False? Go.


----------



## ai.tran.75

qingdom said:


> Some secrets are topics to never be discussed no matter the circumstance. True or False? Go.


True


----------



## .17485

Why are two women kissing or doing each other a turn on for me?


----------



## Endless Rainbows

Tega1 said:


> Why are two women kissing or doing each other a turn on for me?


Because women have been objectified as sex objects in the western world.

Oh, sorry. *takes off feminist glasses*

Because women are hot. This turns me on too and that does not make me a lesbian. Women are soft and pretty and oh, so witty!


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Endless Rainbows said:


> Because women have been objectified as sex objects in the western world.
> 
> Oh, sorry. *takes off feminist glasses*
> 
> Because women are hot. This turns me on too and that does not make me a lesbian. Women are soft and pretty and oh, so witty!


I was about to applaud your post. Oh well.


----------



## .17485

Do you like spontaneity or do you like routine?


----------



## ai.tran.75

Tega1 said:


> Do you like spontaneity or do you like routine?


Spontaneity


----------



## .17485

ai.tran.75 said:


> Spontaneity


I bet the Perceiving types will pick Spontaneity and J types routine lol


----------



## ai.tran.75

Tega1 said:


> I bet the Perceiving types will pick Spontaneity and J types routine lol


I believe so as well - may explain why I'm more attracted to perceiving types


----------



## .17485

ai.tran.75 said:


> I believe so as well - may explain why I'm more attracted to perceiving types


But it's the opposite for IXXP and IXXJ. IXXPs are judgers while IXXJs are perceivers


----------



## ai.tran.75

Tega1 said:


> But it's the opposite for IXXP and IXXJ. IXXPs are judgers while IXXJs are perceivers


I don't really think so - I find a lot of isfp and istp more laid back and care less about order than istj and isfj


----------



## .17485

ai.tran.75 said:


> I don't really think so - I find a lot of isfp and istp more laid back and care less about order than istj and isfj


Yeah that's true. I think it's because SJs are more into Tradition. I'm not sure if I've met any ISFPs or ISTPs in real life. I think ISFPs and ISTPs would nearly be similar


----------



## ai.tran.75

Tega1 said:


> Oh ok cool : ). Do you remember what country the Formula one race was held at? I've never watched Laguna Seca.


Laguna Seca is a race track in California- where on certain time of the year - you'll be able to rent out a formula car to test out - they also hold races for bikers and import cars ( last time I went was 2009)

As for formula 1 race - I've only watched online never irl  what about you ? Do you race ?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## SilverFalcon

Tega1 said:


> I've noticed something with some of the girls who have had in interest in me. I'm able to express myself easily to them via instant messenger, what's app, online dating messages. But in person or the phone I rarely say much. I wonder why that is the case?


Well certain people have power of presence over us. One thing is that your focus on them might be distracting you from thoughts -> emotional overload that interrupts the process of expressing yourself. Or it might be the presence of someone focusing their interest onto you. 
When its over interface, the presence cannot interfere. That however also means that your communication is severely limited to verbal one.


----------



## Monty

women exist? well... this changes everything


----------



## Wellsy

Monty said:


> women exist? well... this changes everything


Yes Monty.
I exist.
:|


----------



## Metalize

Please tell me what you know about the effects of estrogen on your specific body, mood, cognition, etc. If you are able to feel it.


----------



## Monty

Wellsy said:


> Yes Monty.
> I exist.
> :|


i want to believe


----------



## Sygma

ai.tran.75 said:


> Yes ! And I have gone to Laguna Seca formula one events
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


That iconic super dangerous turn tho ! love that track. You re lucky ^_^


----------



## Laze

@Snakecharmer is your name a cheeky euphemism to say that you're well versed at making penises get long and hard?


----------



## Snakecharmer

Laze said:


> @Snakecharmer is your name a cheeky euphemism to say that you're well versed at making penises get long and hard?


:laughing:

I'm a certified hypnotherapist, and a friend on a fitness forum waaaay back used to call me a Snakecharmer.

But hey, whatever works. lol


----------



## with water

Open bobs?


----------



## Sygma

Laze said:


> @Snakecharmer is your name a cheeky euphemism to say that you're well versed at making penises get long and hard?


Come on, we all know what Aladdin secretly asked to the big blue guy. How in the seven hell would have he been so happy otherwise


----------



## .17485

ai.tran.75 said:


> Laguna Seca is a race track in California- where on certain time of the year - you'll be able to rent out a formula car to test out - they also hold races for bikers and import cars ( last time I went was 2009)
> 
> As for formula 1 race - I've only watched online never irl  what about you ? Do you race ?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Oh ok that sounds cool. 

I've been into formula one since I was around four or five years old. I've never watched it live. The nearest circuit is Silverstone or I think it's Brands hatch. I would love to go to the circult and watch it. 

I've driven a go-kart before. At the moment I'm learning how to drive. Maybe when I've passed I'll do street racing like in fast and furious lol . Just kidding


----------



## ai.tran.75

Tega1 said:


> Oh ok that sounds cool.
> 
> I've been into formula one since I was around four or five years old. I've never watched it live. The nearest circuit is Silverstone or I think it's Brands hatch. I would love to go to the circult and watch it.
> 
> I've driven a go-kart before. At the moment I'm learning how to drive. Maybe when I've passed I'll do street racing like in fast and furious lol . Just kidding


Hahaha...how's your driving lesson going ? 
Go karting is fun- haven't done it in ages  
What kinda cars do you like 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## .17485

ai.tran.75 said:


> Hahaha...how's your driving lesson going ?
> Go karting is fun- haven't done it in ages
> What kinda cars do you like
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


My driving lessons are going pretty good. I had one of my lesson today. Today was my 21st lesson. I mainly drive around my local area. Some of the areas I drive to, I've passed there walking or when other people were driving me there. Lol sometimes it seems like I might hit something when driving. My instructor says my driving is getting good. Sometimes I rush or panic 

I like ferrari, porsche cayman, lamborghini, mini cooper, ford mustang, audi There a few more but I can't remember. How about you? Any favourite cars. 

Yeah go-karting is fun. I did it three years ago.


----------



## .17485

@ai.tran.75 On the thread in game forum 'how do you think the person above will hook up with? I remember a few people saying ESTP. Is it because they're sensors like me or because they similar temperament to ISFPs? Do you see me hooking up with an ESTP?


----------



## ai.tran.75

Tega1 said:


> @ai.tran.75 On the thread in game forum 'how do you think the person above will hook up with? I remember a few people saying ESTP. Is it because they're sensors like me or because they similar temperament to ISFPs? Do you see me hooking up with an ESTP?


Estp wouldn't be my first choice but I can totally see it - I think you mentioned that you enjoy extreme sports and video games - and I think an estp girl would totally be up to try anything . As for me - from observing your posts and bumping into you in other forums- 
I would recommend esfp or entp
Esfp bc of the shared function and I also think that an esfp can help you to become even more spontaneous and since you mentioned you like space - although esfp are extrovert - they won't force or drag you along if you don't want to join N won't demand 24-7 of your attention bc they're out on the go 

Entp would be my 1st choice for you - basing on just what I've seen on forums and the question or answers you posted . 
I feel like she'll be able to excite you and talk to you about any subject that you're interested in ( the Ne makes you curious about everything ) she'll have tons of ideas up her sleeve and I think that you can play along with it and make it happen ( this is only my perception though ) 

What do you look for in a relationship and what's your type though ? 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## .17485

ai.tran.75 said:


> Estp wouldn't be my first choice but I can totally see it - I think you mentioned that you enjoy extreme sports and video games - and I think an estp girl would totally be up to try anything . As for me - from observing your posts and bumping into you in other forums-
> I would recommend esfp or entp
> Esfp bc of the shared function and I also think that an esfp can help you to become even more spontaneous and since you mentioned you like space - although esfp are extrovert - they won't force or drag you along if you don't want to join N won't demand 24-7 of your attention bc they're out on the go
> 
> Entp would be my 1st choice for you - basing on just what I've seen on forums and the question or answers you posted .
> I feel like she'll be able to excite you and talk to you about any subject that you're interested in ( the Ne makes you curious about everything ) she'll have tons of ideas up her sleeve and I think that you can play along with it and make it happen ( this is only my perception though )
> 
> What do you look for in a relationship and what's your type though ?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


That's interesting. Have you seen me in other forums other than Personality cafe? I know I'm in another forum to do with enneagram. 

What I look for in a relationship? Hard to say I've never had a girlfriend before. I would say someone who is funny, easygoing, adventurious, intelligent, is into video games, formula one, bubbly, kind and caring. Shares a few of my interests / hobbies. 

My type I've done a few quizzes about which MBTI are you attracted to. I get ESFP, ESTP, ENTP, INFP, ENFP and sometimes ISTP. I would say someone who is laidback so probably perceiving. I would say someone who is balanced between introverted and extrovert. Don't think I could cope with some very extroverted. Aren't ENXPs extroverted introverts? Both my parents are intuitives I think. So I probably would get along with a intuitive. My mum is an INFJ and dad INTP. 

Probably EXXP.


----------



## ai.tran.75

Tega1 said:


> That's interesting. Have you seen me in other forums other than Personality cafe? I know I'm in another forum to do with enneagram.
> 
> What I look for in a relationship? Hard to say I've never had a girlfriend before. I would say someone who is funny, easygoing, adventurious, intelligent, is into video games, formula one, bubbly, kind and caring. Shares a few of my interests / hobbies.
> 
> My type I've done a few quizzes about which MBTI are you attracted to. I get ESFP, ESTP, ENTP, INFP, ENFP and sometimes ISTP. I would say someone who is laidback so probably perceiving. I would say someone who is balanced between introverted and extrovert. Don't think I could cope with some very extroverted. Aren't ENXPs extroverted introverts? Both my parents are intuitives I think. So I probably would get along with a intuitive. My mum is an INFJ and dad INTP.
> 
> Probably EXXP.


Yes enxp are often the most introverted extrovert bc Ne gain energy through external ideas . I only read your post on perC - it's the only personality forum I'm in . I think those quizzes are quite on point - matching you with another perceiver . I think that Isxp are quite intuitive (bc your 3rd function is Ni) and I like the pairing of Ne and Se together ( despite what Jung says ) 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## MisterPerfect

Snakecharmer said:


> We need this, right?
> 
> 
> :laughing:
> 
> I'll put myself out there and say that not only am I a woman, but an "older" one...not sure about _wiser_, but experienced, sure.
> 
> Ask away!


What does the phrase "Does the Carpet match the drapes" actually mean? and are there actually people who look to see if the curtains match the rug in houses?


----------



## Popinjay

* *




Sorry...I can't believe in three years time I never used this for a joke.


----------



## carlaviii

LittleDicky said:


> What does the phrase "Does the Carpet match the drapes" actually mean? and are there actually people who look to see if the curtains match the rug in houses?


It's asking if the hair on your head matches your pubic hair -- not many people dye/color their pubic hair, so that can be assumed to be the real, natural color of your hair. 

In case anyone really didn't know.


----------



## DemonD

Periods staining the bed, or sheets I suppose, is that something that actually happens with any form of regularity or is it just something quietly perpetuated by media?


----------



## Xyte

Another question about periods... You know how people generalize women while menstruating to be some type of bipolar, emotional beast.. is that true? I hear it a lot.. so I kinda thought it was a stereotype?


Also, how do women have their "boners"?


----------



## Miss Anne Thrope

DemonD said:


> Periods staining the bed, or sheets I suppose, is that something that actually happens with any form of regularity or is it just something quietly perpetuated by media?


It happens but not regularly or even yearly... I guess for some women it may but then I would be wondering what the hell she is doing to have it happen that often.



Xyte said:


> Another question about periods... You know how people generalize women while menstruating to be some type of bipolar, emotional beast.. is that true? I hear it a lot.. so I kinda thought it was a stereotype?
> 
> 
> Also, how do women have their "boners"?


I think it is maybe because we are in pain, overall feel like shit and tired. When you feel like you are being murdered from the inside you tend to have a low tolerance for everything.
Again, I am sure some women do go psycho but I don't think it is true for every woman.
As for the boners question... Uh, I don't even know how to go about explaining that. How do men experience boners? What is that like?


----------



## Miss Anne Thrope

I had to answer those last two because not many males even feign fake interest on the topic of periods... Maybe they truly do have questions but are made to think it is taboo...


----------



## Catwalk

DemonD said:


> Periods staining the bed, or sheets I suppose, is that something that actually happens with any form of regularity or is it just something quietly perpetuated by media?


Once you have mastered _sideways_ sleeping + sleeping on thy stomach; all things are fine (re: sleeping in sweatpants) reduces this - it is not a common thing; I suppose depends on the woman + other varying factors.


----------



## DemonD

Lucy Furry Ann said:


> I had to answer those last two because not many males even feign fake interest on the topic of periods... Maybe they truly do have questions but are made to think it is taboo...


Oh yeah. As a man you do *not* fucking talk about periods...EVER!!!


----------



## ReverieInSight

DemonD said:


> Oh yeah. As a man you do *not* fucking talk about periods...EVER!!!


Why should you even. Do you have them? :laughing:


----------



## Miss Anne Thrope

ReverieInSight said:


> Why should you even. Do you have them? :laughing:


I don't have a dick... I'm still curious about certain aspects of having one. I have asked my spouse different things about them before.


----------



## Golden Rose

DemonD said:


> Periods staining the bed, or sheets I suppose, is that something that actually happens with any form of regularity or is it just something quietly perpetuated by media?


It's a very dramatic take on it.

Consider that the amount of blood produced cannot be too much before it starts feeling physically uncomfortable and there's usually layers of clothing in between a woman and the mattress. Even when sleeping in the nude, blood feel sticky enough to be annoying and alert you. I can genuinely say that it only happened as a teen or very rarely, even these days it was just a matter of spotting.

Of course, it can be hard to determine whether it's a period or cum but female orgasms are more watery in nature and generally periods have a different feeling to them. The media also tends to portray women with periods as borderline unable to function on a daily basis which is also incorrect in most cases.



Xyte said:


> Another question about periods... You know how people generalize women while menstruating to be some type of bipolar, emotional beast.. is that true? I hear it a lot.. so I kinda thought it was a stereotype?


There's an increase in estrogen levels which can make some women more prone to be emotional or emotionally irritable. It doesn't usually happen to me but I've noticed these days that unsolved issues + lots of alcohol + periods + a normally robotic kind of behavior + mental illness = strong increase of emotional sensitivity/focus. 

I suffer from bipolar and so does my boyfriend and it's nothing like that for either of us. I've met people with bipolar (or claiming so) who can have extremely dramatic mood swings but again, not in the nature of the illness as it has more to do with serotonin levels and contrast between emotional states/concrete judgment/energy levels. But this was just a metaphor, I know.



> Also, how do women have their "boners"?


We start leaking pixy stix and fairy dust from out vaginas.

Honest reply. I guess it manifests with wetness and a shivering kind of feeling. The so called "itch".
It has the same effect of cold air on the body so hardened nipples and the need for contact.


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

*


----------



## carlaviii

DemonD said:


> Periods staining the bed, or sheets I suppose, is that something that actually happens with any form of regularity or is it just something quietly perpetuated by media?


Accidents happen, yeah. The first time you get out of bed in the morning, early in your period, there can be a... tsunami...



Xyte said:


> Another question about periods... You know how people generalize women while menstruating to be some type of bipolar, emotional beast.. is that true? I hear it a lot.. so I kinda thought it was a stereotype?
> 
> 
> 
> It happens to enough women to support the stereotype. There are plenty of us who don't go insane once a month, though. Mostly, women are cranky during their period because of the cramps and the mess.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Also, how do women have their "boners"?
> 
> 
> 
> A throbbing feeling, some moistness... We can get "blue balls" too.
> 
> Click to expand...
Click to expand...


----------



## .17485

Are women naturally talkative than men? I think men tend to be quieter in terms of talking. I read from a young age girls learn to talk earlier than boys. I didn't start talking till I was three years old.


----------



## ai.tran.75

Tega1 said:


> Are women naturally talkative than men? I think men tend to be quieter in terms of talking. I read from a young age girls learn to talk earlier than boys. I didn't start talking till I was three years old.


I know a lot of talkative men and quiet women - guess it depends on the crowd ones hang with 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## .17485

ai.tran.75 said:


> I know a lot of talkative men and quiet women - guess it depends on the crowd ones hang with
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Yeah that's true. One's personal experience with either gender.


----------



## cinnabun

DemonD said:


> Periods staining the bed, or sheets I suppose, is that something that actually happens with any form of regularity or is it just something quietly perpetuated by media?


It happens. It depends on your cycle and the way you sleep. Some women have really heavy periods, so of course staining is bound to happen if they're not careful.

But even then, it's happened to me before even though I was well prepared lol. 



Xyte said:


> Another question about periods... You know how people generalize women while menstruating to be some type of bipolar, emotional beast.. is that true? I hear it a lot.. so I kinda thought it was a stereotype?


Not bipolar, just PMS-ing.

Premenstrual syndrome - NHS Choices



Xyte said:


> Also, how do women have their "boners"?


Not literally, obviously.



Tega1 said:


> Are women naturally talkative than men? I think men tend to be quieter in terms of talking. I read from a young age girls learn to talk earlier than boys. I didn't start talking till I was three years old.


Being chatty isn't gender related.


----------



## Debatelizard

Snakecharmer said:


> We need this, right?
> 
> If a man asked you to dress like wonerwoman and let him manhandle you sexually, would you go for it if you trusted him?
> 
> :laughing:
> 
> I'll put myself out there and say that not only am I a woman, but an "older" one...not sure about _wiser_, but experienced, sure.
> 
> Ask away!


Would you dress like Wonderwoman in a sexual encounter?


----------



## Fumetsu

DemonD said:


> Oh yeah. As a man you do *not* fucking talk about periods...EVER!!!


This will tell you everything.





As for myself, to be honest, the worst thing about it is no sex for a week...and ruining underwear.

But that's because I'm lucky and rarely get cramps or anything but I know some women who get incapacitingly sick all week. Sick as hell for entire week every. Month.Gotta suck.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Debatelizard said:


> Would you dress like Wonderwoman in a sexual encounter?


Sure, why not? LOL


----------



## .17485

What's your opinion on OKCupid? Have you met any guys from OKCupid?


----------



## Catwalk

Metasentient said:


> Quite a bit, for various reasons.
> 
> 
> And (serious question) do women actually feel sexual attraction/desire to have sex, or is it more of a desire to please/to secure a husband or boyfriend for emotional/financial reasons? Like having sex with someone to please them or because it's expected, for example, rather than genuine desire.


My vagina is capable of being aroused + filled with blood & lubricated + needs instant release for purely sexual means - sometimes, without even being mentally ''aroused'', how odd that financial + emotional factors are always incorporated.


----------



## Metalize

Catwalk said:


> My vagina is capable of being aroused + filled with blood & lubricated + needs instant release for purely sexual means - sometimes, without even being mentally ''aroused'', how odd that financial + emotional factors are always incorporated.


I'd rather it weren't true myself.

https://carlsonschool.umn.edu/file/54461/download?token=-SJTmYCN


----------



## Macrosapien

huh women get sexual desires, really? lol


----------



## Metalize

Macrosapien said:


> huh women get sexual desires, really? lol


A simpler stat.

Beauty Product Spending Increases During Economic Downturn

No need to get our panties in a tizzle over a question. roud:


----------



## Mange

Metasentient said:


> Thanks for actually giving me a thoughtful answer (and not an emotional outburst that nosedives past the question). That's a definite yes.


Not emotional so much as utterly aghast. Yes, women are capable of arousal. I think its funny so many men find that shocking. Can I ask you a question? How old are you/are you a virgin/where are you from?


----------



## Metalize

xrx said:


> Not emotional so much as utterly aghast. Yes, women are capable of arousal. I think its funny so many men find that shocking.


I'm biologically female. And as the question implies, still had the question.


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## Mange

Metasentient said:


> I'm biologically female. And as the question implies, still had the question.


Okay well I jumped to conclusions there but am now further confused .... You're saying this is an unconscious desire in women, possibly? We only want to have sex because of this unconscious need for family/and security...


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## ParetoCaretheStare

Do you know if you're a padmini, chitrini, hastini or sankhini?


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## Catwalk

_Essentially_, I have posited the same thing on another thread - as stated, within the articles (i.e,. common sense); it is not a _difficult _concept to grasp around, however, I thought it was notioned for ''sexual desire'' alone. 

As the female mating preferences are _rational_ (re: _weighing biological risks + optimizing well-being_), although it is subjective maladaptive ape-think / magical thinking.


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## Fumetsu

Metasentient said:


> No need to get our panties in a tizzle over a question. roud:


ugh dbl posts.

Yes, women can dbl post.


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## Fumetsu

Metasentient said:


> No need to get our panties in a tizzle over a question. roud:


..Then don't ask stupid fucking questions. Jeezus.

I'm genuinely curious to know why anyone would ask such a question.


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## Catwalk

xrx said:


> http://personalitycafe.com/general-...pressed-about-being-woman-2.html#post25328922
> 
> I just came across this :shocked: I've never been more disappointed in the women of PerC... How many feel this way?


To be fair, those two (proposing Female Inferiority™) have a history of _self_-proclaimed ''mental'' instability (i.e., suicidal) and/or submissive (via) previous threads / posts. Thus, I _comprehend_ were such notions emerge from, _however_, cannot relate / fathom their thought processing.


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## Metalize

xrx said:


> Okay well I jumped to conclusions there but am now further confused .... You're saying this is an unconscious desire in women, possibly? We only want to have sex because of this unconscious need for family/and security...


I somehow didn't see this quoted before.

I'm not really saying anything, I initially just wanted an answer to my question (given my personal experience) and then showed some arguments against the idea that it was a ridiculous question. As for if the need is unconscious, that doesn't really matter because it's the same for men (spreading genes and so forth).


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## Metalize

Fumetsu said:


> ..Then don't ask stupid fucking questions. Jeezus.
> 
> I'm genuinely curious to know why anyone would ask such a question.


Have you considered that maybe someone might just want to know the answer?

Really, the misguided rage is more telling than the direct answer was.


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## Fumetsu

Metasentient said:


> Have you considered that maybe someone might just want to know the answer?
> 
> Really, the misguided rage is more telling than the direct answer was.


What rage? This is astonishment.

Let me rephrase the question: how could you _not_ know the answer? What was it that made you think that women might be incapable of feeling arousal?

Did you read something that suggested so?


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## DemonD

Have you ever shied away from doing something you wanted to do just because it is too traditionally/stereotypically manly or too traditionally/stereotypically feminine?


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## Flamme et Citron

DemonD said:


> Have you ever shied away from doing something you wanted to do just because it is too traditionally/stereotypically manly or too traditionally/stereotypically feminine?


I don't care if others perceive me as manly/feminine. However I've always wanted to do MMA training (BJJ, boxing, muay thai, etc). There's a gym nearby but when I had the money to do it, I hesitated. I know that all the students there are male. Even with equal training I wouldn't be able to keep up to the same extent. There's a chance I could walk into a "bro" vibe/dynamic as well. The whole thing triggers all kinds of INTP overthinking/social anxiety, I've psyched myself out completely.


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## Vanitas

DemonD said:


> Have you ever shied away from doing something you wanted to do just because it is too traditionally/stereotypically manly or too traditionally/stereotypically feminine?


It's less about how it (the activity itself) is perceived but more about what kind of environment that activity would lead to.

Hyper (?) masculine/feminine interests draw certain types of crowds and sometimes I don't care to join them.


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## ai.tran.75

Metasentient said:


> Quite a bit, for various reasons.
> 
> 
> And (serious question) do women actually feel sexual attraction/desire to have sex, or is it more of a desire to please/to secure a husband or boyfriend for emotional/financial reasons? Like having sex with someone to please them or because it's expected, for example, rather than genuine desire.


I do so for pleasure and it's always genuine - if not I wouldn't ...I prefer him to be the same with me 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## ai.tran.75

DemonD said:


> Have you ever shied away from doing something you wanted to do just because it is too traditionally/stereotypically manly or too traditionally/stereotypically feminine?


No - hence the reason I never quite understood the term girly or tomboy - I'm both 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Deprecator

How come my questions are never answered in these AMA threads?


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## atamagasuita

Echoing Fear said:


> How come my questions are never answered in these AMA threads?


Because i haven't seen it. Don't worry ill dig the past.

What's ama btw? Is this thread ama?


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## atamagasuita

@newbie const

Are females feel sexual impulses more intensely than males?
- I actually don't know if I'm just too vocal about being horny or guys just all introverts when being horny.. But well, my ex-bf's penis is always hard when I'm always around. I don't know if I'm just hot or he's just really horny.

And..what is female masturbation like?
- Well our penises' head are in the form of clitoris. So try rubbing you penis head. Probably the same as rubbing our clit.. But our clit has thousands of nerve endings on it.. So much sensitive.. But vaginal penetration is something.. As for vaginal g-spot, it's probably like milking your prostate.


* *






http://www.prostate-treatment-options.com/images/prostatemilk.jpg






How is it different from male's masturbation?
- ask hermaphrodites.

Will think of some more if get good response from you..
- Think more.


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## Westy365

Have any of you ever breastfed upside-down (with you being upside down, not the baby haha)? 

Is breastfeeding upside-down even possible? 

I know it's a dumb question, but screw it, I'm curious!


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## atamagasuita

@Westy365

Have any of you ever breastfed upside-down (with you being upside down, not the baby haha)? 
- Yes. When i do woman on top. XD i love my boobs being sucked.

Is breastfeeding upside-down even possible? 
- Oh upside down? Well can you draw? Or show image?

I know it's a dumb question, but screw it, I'm curious!
- It's actually asking, have you been blowjobbed upside down? XD


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## atamagasuita

Oh fuck. XD Sorry. I thought that was sexual question. Hahahahahaha


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## pwowq

Do you know you have a C-spot?


* *





C = cervix.
Some or very few (unsure) women take huge pleasure in having a dick knocking on it.



Are you one of those? The general talk is "it hurts" but does it really hurt?


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## Cthulhu And Coffee

Totally misread this ^ So sorry. Please, someone else answer it. XD


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## atamagasuita

pwowq said:


> Do you know you have a C-spot?
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> C = cervix.
> Some or very few (unsure) women take huge pleasure in having a dick knocking on it.
> 
> 
> 
> Are you one of those? The general talk is "it hurts" but does it really hurt?


Guys with 5 inches penis cannot reach my C spot.. Yeah kinda. Its not my favorite spot


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## entheos

pwowq said:


> Do you know you have a C-spot?
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> C = cervix.
> Some or very few (unsure) women take huge pleasure in having a dick knocking on it.
> 
> 
> 
> Are you one of those? The general talk is "it hurts" but does it really hurt?


It fucking hurts, srsly, it feels like being banged in the head with a pan. I wish I was kidding. Except the head is inside your body. It's the most annoying experience, it actually makes me angry and puts me in a bad mood. Having someone hit your head repeatedly with a pan would too xD


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## ENIGMA2019

Nc0re said:


> Insertion.


More intense and gratifying with cock...for me anyway


----------



## ENIGMA2019

qingdom said:


> Some secrets are topics to never be discussed no matter the circumstance. True or False? Go.


True


----------



## nablur

Taco Bella said:


> How easily do you get an erection?


depends on the partner. if i am comfortable and relaxed - anytime anywhere man! if they are kinda dominant/controlling ... eh... boner killer (for me)... but im an 8 and i have control issues :Smilies1:


----------



## Cthulhu And Coffee

nablur said:


> depends on the partner. if i am comfortable and relaxed - anytime anywhere man! if they are kinda dominant/controlling ... eh... boner killer (for me)... but im an 8 and i have control issues :Smilies1:


That question was for my fellow ladies, who I'm positive have a harder time getting it up. Damn you 8s, always tryna answer for other people.


* *




So kidding


----------



## nablur

Taco Bella said:


> That question was for my fellow ladies, who I'm positive have a harder time getting it up. Damn you 8s, always tryna answer for other people.
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> So kidding


my bad.


----------



## Cthulhu And Coffee

nablur said:


> my bad.


:laughing: :happy:


----------



## ShyEclipse12

hm.. how was your day? =o


----------



## entheos

ShyEclipse12 said:


> hm.. how was your day? =o


Very caffeinated xD

Yours?


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## ShyEclipse12

entheos said:


> Very caffeinated xD
> 
> Yours?


really sad ='s i..kinda feel alone. Im trying to stay hopeful but depression is kinda setting back in.. thank you very muvh for asking, im happy youre all caffiened up X'D


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