# Need help dealing with insecure ESFP



## Creativitron (Apr 30, 2015)

I'm an Entp/ Intp exchange student who's currently living in the U.S. With an ESFP host mother who's always insecure about how private I am. She wants me to babysit her child and watch Tv with her all the time, As an NT, hell no. I wanted personal space from her ISFP child with anger and anxiety issues, 
she bombarded me with insults with no logical explanation behind it. ENTP is superior in debating but I can't win her illogical argument and temper?


----------



## maust (Jul 14, 2014)

ueheum I feel bad that this hasn't gotten any responses but I don't know how to help. Try the ESFP forum?


----------



## sinaasappel (Jul 22, 2015)

Creativitron said:


> I'm an Entp/ Intp exchange student who's currently living in the U.S. With an ESFP host mother who's always insecure about how private I am. She wants me to babysit her child and watch Tv with her all the time, As an NT, hell no. I wanted personal space from her ISFP child with anger and anxiety issues,
> she bombarded me with insults with no logical explanation behind it. ENTP is superior in debating but I can't win her illogical argument and temper?


ask if you can make things better (its scary I know) 

or you could just try to have more conversation with them/spend more time with them 

or you could tell her that you need some time to yourself (make a schedule with her)
I think the third one is the best option so you both understand each other
(but be open minded if her child wants to talk to you when you want to be alone)

And she probably got defensive because she assumed that you didn't want to deal with her child that has anger/anxiety problems

She also probably wants to get her daughter less anxious around people (if its a social anxiety) so she wants you to spend as much time around her child to get her used to strangers

I guess it can also be stressful for parents with anxious children because anxious children can tend to be territorial usually because of worry and sometimes can be very angry/defensive when someone tries to intrude

They can also be kinda clingy to the parent so it may just take some time

sometimes there is also a lack of communication between anxious children and their parents (which may cause her to draw assumptions) 

so she could be frustrated by the lack of communication between the two of you

Sorry for the long post though I hope this helps (especially with her temper)


----------



## Judgment_Knight (Feb 1, 2015)

Whew, well you're under her house and she wants you to watch her child! The ESFP is probably going to think you're a little rude if you're saying no! Tell her you're an introvert and that you're bad at communicating with people. Maybe she'll give you some leeway.

Cater to her F side, throw in some compliments if you're feeling brave, and show that you can contribute to the house in different ways. Down the line, she'll be nice to you too. Hopefully.

Maybe try to get to know the kid? Read a book while the child is watching TV.


----------

