# How to bring out INTx male's wild side



## ThisProtest (Apr 29, 2009)

Nyx said:


> Alcohol delays achieving orgasm in males.
> 
> Students > Alcohol's Effects > Alcohol's Effects on the Mind and Body
> Alcohol and sex - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
> ...


Thanks, Nyx!

The problem is that his nerves affect whether he can keep an erection. Much of the energy that could go into being with each other in the moment instead goes into him going into his mind to either keep going or recover. 

I get that it isn't a type thing, but since he's so very INTx and on top of that feels inexperienced (I've never claimed to be more experienced or said that I think he is less so) it makes for a complex mix.

Also, aside from the occasional problem (he was fine for a while), I'd really like to make more of a connection, if that's possible with this individual.



NephilimAzrael said:


> But he may get an appetite for the sensation.. Hmm.


He definitely has an appetite "for the sensation." He's very interested in having sex with me however where there was once a feeling of connection there isn't so much now. 

(Sorry for posting 2X, I just saw this after replying to Nyx.)


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## MajesticPlayer (May 13, 2009)

Forget Drugs and alchol this aint a one night stand.... Music is the soul of what your looking for... you can dance around... romantic then prob progress it to dirty dancing and pronto.. next day you both wont know wat hit you.


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## ThisProtest (Apr 29, 2009)

MajesticPlayer said:


> Forget Drugs and alchol this aint a one night stand.... Music is the soul of what your looking for... you can dance around... romantic then prob progress it to dirty dancing and pronto.. next day you both wont know wat hit you.


I _really_ like this. At the very least, if he isn't into it, I'll have fun and the enjoy the sensuality :wink:


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## Oracle (May 13, 2009)

sorry majestic, but no, no music for intx; maybe some music but you can forget about the dancing, INTx tend to be the black sheep in the horde of the adepts on kinematics, plus the music would distract them, since the "analyze in progress" tatoo hidden on the back of the retina is roughly old but still in condition to be read.

The answer you seek is Get in his MIND; he is expecting or picturing what he is doing during sex, this means he is just intrigued by his sensations and feelings. his research in "never-ening" basically the most hated expression, idea or possibility any INTx's could think of. Because he lacks information from you, he is concerned with interpreting what you are sensing and feeling at the time he is enjoying; for if you weren't then it would be unfair, and he could find himself carring a big fat sack of guilt, while he acts as nothing happens. And being obligated to accept the fact he is not fit to please; mostly the thoughts could come and go, and the ideas shiver between individuals, but the principle is if you tried to ask him what he most likes while you are doing it, and likewisely encourage him to explore while you show him what you like, then his mind would be occupied entirely in your pleasure as well, at some point having much more understandiong of the act and so being encouraged and thirsty for more knowledge. 
BEWARE: this could boost his ego


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## MajesticPlayer (May 13, 2009)

lol oracle why not jus tell her to have cyber sex with him


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## slowriot (Nov 11, 2008)

lol yeah man :crazy: 

cause estp's are so much like intx's


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## ThisProtest (Apr 29, 2009)

Oracle said:


> sorry majestic, but no, no music for intx;


The music part would be true for both of us however I was thinking of slow dancing with no music while putting his hands on me. Y'know, "Feel my hips moving like this..."




> ...he is expecting or picturing what he is doing during sex, this means he is just intrigued by his sensations and feelings.
> 
> ...his research in "never-ening" basically the most hated expression, idea or possibility any INTx's could think of.


Can you explain this more? 


> Because he lacks information from you,


...I'm not so sure that he does, unless you're implying that the act itself allows little chance for an INTx to feel s/he understands what is happening.


> he is concerned with interpreting what you are sensing and feeling at the time he is enjoying; for if you weren't then it would be unfair, and he could find himself carring a big fat sack of guilt,


This may be the problem. I know he's had sex with at least two other women (I've never met them) but sometimes it seems like it's more work or more annoying for him to have me there. 



> while he acts as nothing happens.


This part is accurate, and I'm not being catty. 



> And being obligated to accept the fact he is not fit to please; mostly the thoughts could come and go, and the ideas shiver between individuals,


I don't understand what you are trying to say here. 


> but the principle is if you tried to ask him what he most likes while you are doing it,


Am doing this and mostly he has no problem with telling me what is good or bad. 



> and likewisely encourage him to explore while you show him what you like, then his mind would be occupied entirely in your pleasure as well,


Have tried. 



> at some point having much more understandiong of the act and so being encouraged and thirsty for more knowledge.


Ah yes. My other INxx were like this and it was endlessly enjoyable and fascinating. 



> BEWARE: this could boost his ego


:laughing:

I hope I don't seem glib, but I'm just confused and frustrated (not sexually) because I've attemtped to make a connection so many times. Maybe I'm just in a bad mood.


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## Oracle (May 13, 2009)

> The music part would be true for both of us however I was thinking of slow dancing with no music while putting his hands on me. Y'know, "Feel my hips moving like this..."


might work; about 40% chance he is of a musical nature, could turn into two possible results, he might then get caught in the mood.


> Can you explain this more?


the idea is parted through your other quotes, but basically intx like to analyze, how is it being that they are performing and how well they understand whats going on; the lack of information is the result of his lack of your subjective perception of things; this is why anything that implies intrinsic realization of two or more individuals as interaction might be somewhat crossing the borderline where intx are most comfortable in.


> I don't understand what you are trying to say here.


Having to accept a truth or a belief that is negative for the intx will be the cause for a future internal issue the intx will be facing in discomfort, while struggling to block over-sensitivity from being observable or evident for others.

The image i gave you, was an example of how guilt on intx could overwhelm them, but the main idea is, the way of interpreting the deception has a much wider range which it is expressed in by intx individuals.


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## musicalpyramid (Feb 2, 2009)

ThisProtest said:


> I'm a sexually experienced ENFP woman who now has her first less experienced partner. Some other partners were I's, but all had been around the block a lot while this guy has only made a few trips. How can I help the INTx with inhibitions? When we have sex I think he's _thinking_ as we're doing it and not enjoying the moment. At times he psyches himself out.
> 
> Any suggestions from those who are this guy's type or from those who've enjoyed sex with this type?


It also might help a lot if you help him to feel at ease about the fact that you are more experienced than he is. I am not a T so I over feel rather than over think. But if I was him even as a T i would be worried that you would even unintentionally compare him and if he is inexperienced not only will he worry about satisfying you he will worry he compares badly to your previous partners. He may need 'technical help' but simply because he is a T wont prevent him _feeling_ insecure. He may need to know that the fact you are more experienced than him isnt something that counts against him or pressures him into trying to 'work out' how to be 'as good' as someone else...

This may help him to relax and be himself, rather than try to be someone he is not.


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## Oracle (May 13, 2009)

MajesticPlayer said:


> lol oracle why not jus tell her to have cyber sex with him


healthy relationships share bonds of coupling, while screaming might give you a general idea, it is subject to failure, of course a rapist wouldn't mind; on the other side mating trough the computer follows a depression curve on itself, since involving electromagnetic systems and corporal fluids has not shown such a prosper future for mankind.

In conclusion:

Dirty talking = Orgasmic glory
Cyber sex = New laptop 

orgasmic glory is considerably more rewarding, specially when the second option must be bought, and getting pleasure for paying is called prostitution, and it's illegal; ok lets say its a fun way of denigration.

of course choosing not to choose is always the third option; selecting between win, lose or draw might be the dilema.


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## N^G (Apr 30, 2009)

> Yes, in general we need to get him to a "clear head."
> 
> Unfortunately, I do think he stresses about helping me achieve orgasm too. It comes across as resentment, though I'm not sure if that's how he truly feels. It's added pressure for a man who is much more anxious and sensitive about sex than I realized.


Some guys get off on being able to bring their partner to orgasm. Maybe he feels that you aren't enjoying the sex and that is affecting his performance?


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## Perseus (Mar 7, 2009)

INTPs only.

Don't expect him to be a member of the Cavalry (ESFJ) or an old Sea Dog (ISTJ). 

Don't do the Bear (ISTP) trick of hide and seek. Works with INTJs.

Side by side.

Or walk on the wild side (ESFP role play). So he will have to trust you. 

And don't forget to close the garage door. He will think you are a Leopard (ESTP) if you don't. 




ThisProtest said:


> He definitely has an appetite "for the sensation." He's very interested in having sex with me however where there was once a feeling of connection there isn't so much now.
> 
> (Sorry for posting 2X, I just saw this after replying to Nyx.)




I have been through this trip. If you have been with other Men in between, the enthusiasm wanes (Don't Look Back for INTPs) and the rivals know that and that is how they pinch the chicks (but not necessarily clever ENFPs) from the reticent Eagles. The ENFPs are known for getting distracted. That is how we can recognise them, although the flighty Butterflies (ESFP) and Cats (ISFP) can resemble them. 

The Eagle usually says "Thank God, that was a lucky escape!" I expect his heart is broken. It might take years to get it back. 

PS: Most of the replies are from males.

An Eagle INTP is acting normal if he appears detached. Your mission (this is the quite definitely the WRONG word) is to turn him into a Snake (ENTP). Snakes fear being run over by the Cavalry (ESFJ) and bitten by Dogs (ISTJ). 

The hidden agenda of the INTP Eagle is to Love. Ifyou have broken his heart, you will have to mend it. Or if it is just sex you want, get him in Snake mood and jestison his old tail. You should know vanity tricks, but the ones that work for the Dog won't necessarily work for an Eagle.

I walked away from the picnic. I was afraid of being barbecued.

The Messenger (INFJ) said, I would have to behave like a Bear (ISTP), but I just don't want to. "I gave her my Heart but she wanted my Soul".



Oracle said:


> healthy relationships share bonds of coupling, while screaming might give you a general idea, it is subject to failure, of course a rapist wouldn't mind; .



That is a Cat and Wolfman trick. And then the Cat sulks. It won't work. It would be a disaster!

He might as well cry Rape!


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## ThisProtest (Apr 29, 2009)

Perseus said:


> The Eagle usually says "Thank God, that was a lucky escape!" I expect his heart is broken. It might take years to get it back.


What makes you think his heart is broken?


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## Perseus (Mar 7, 2009)

ThisProtest said:


> What makes you think his heart is broken?


I have been there with an ENFP. They are too gullible. The Petrolhead (ESFJ) is a trophy hunter and mostly a bore.

The other gender is the Pony girl (ESFJ).


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## ThisProtest (Apr 29, 2009)

Perseus said:


> I have been there with an ENFP. They are too gullible.


Who is too gullible, the ENFP or the INTP? I think you mean ENFP and if so please elaborate but unfortunately your comparing other types for reference doesn't really help me because I'm so new to MB.

I can't see how or why you think he's somehow hurt by me. I'm just trying to help him stop thinking so much (if it's the thinking that is causing the problem) and allow himself to be in the moment.


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## Perseus (Mar 7, 2009)

ThisProtest said:


> Who is too gullible, the ENFP or the INTP? I think you mean ENFP and if so please elaborate but unfortunately your comparing other types for reference doesn't really help me because I'm so new to MB.
> 
> I can't see how or why you think he's somehow hurt by me. I'm just trying to help him stop thinking so much (if it's the thinking that is causing the problem) and allow himself to be in the moment.


One of the problem areas of the ENFP is they are so keen to get "experienced" that they can get tricked by the unscrupolous.I have seen this with ESFPs as well. 

Disappointed might be the word. I am not sure if he is hurt at all. You will have to ask him. INTPs hurt rather easily. He might be too hurt to even be coherent. Depends what he thinks you have been up to. Don't lie as he will see through it and get hurt even more. But then lies of omission don't count and you are afterall a free agent unless you were engaged. Legally, he will reluctantly understand this. 

Because INTPs have difficulty letting go, (JNFPs may be worse?) they get hurt oif their partner sleeps with somebody else. Other types do, but they do not lose any sleep over it. 

One of the problems young men face is young girls getting pregnant by another and then they find they need a marriage partner. 

A lot of this is supposition. Thinking is what INTPs do. I am not even so strong on this. The N means he does not live for the moment but thinks of the future. High perceivers do not sleep around. Especially, if they know the hurt of break-ups. INTJs are not so worried about such things. They think more of their careers than relationships. 

Beware of female Cats (ISFP). Their malicious gossip can poison a young INTP.

Most of the weaker characteristics found in ENFPs are due to their dominant Extraverted Intuition overshadowing the personality to the extent that they don’t apply judgement to anything. Or, they may use their primary judging function (Introverted Feeling) to support the agenda of Extraverted Intuition, i.e. to rationalize and support the idea of welcoming all experiences and accepting all individuals. In such cases, an ENFP may show some or all of the following weaknesses in varying degree:
·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]May be what many would call a “sucker”; vulnerable to schemers and con artists.
·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]May get themselves into dangerous situations because they’re too eager to push the envelope of their understanding, and not willing to apply judgement to anything.
·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]May feel intense anger towards people who criticize them or try to control them. But will be unable to express the anger. Left unexpressed, the anger may fester and simmer and become destructive.

ENFP Personal Growth


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## ThisProtest (Apr 29, 2009)

Perseus said:


> Disappointed might be the word. I am not sure if he is hurt at all. You will have to ask him. INTPs hurt rather easily. He might be too hurt to even be coherent. Depends what he thinks you have been up to. Don't lie as he will see through it and get hurt even more. But then lies of omission don't count and you are afterall a free agent unless you were engaged. Legally, he will reluctantly understand this.
> 
> Because INTPs have difficulty letting go, (JNFPs may be worse?) they get hurt oif their partner sleeps with somebody else. Other types do, but they do not lose any sleep over it.


I think you've misunderstood: I haven't slept or even flirted with anybody else since I met this INTx. 

Funny about the word "hurt." He doesn't use such language. He gets "mad" but claims not to get hurt although some of his actions and reactions make me think they were done to protect himself against pain.



> The N means he does not live for the moment but thinks of the future. High perceivers do not sleep around. Especially, if they know the hurt of break-ups.


This is me too.


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## Perseus (Mar 7, 2009)

They may be completely unaware of the type of communication that is often desireable and (to some degree) expected in an intimate relationship. If they are aware of the kinds of things that are appropriate to say and do to foster emotional bonding, they may be unable to appreciate the value of such actions. They may feel too vulnerable to express themselves in this fashion, and so reject the entire idea. 

# If pushed beyond their comfort level to form commitments or emotional bonds, they may reject a relationship entirely.
# Under stress, they may show intense emotions that seem disproportionate to the situation.
# They may not recognize basic social principles, such as appropriate dress and general behavior. 

http://www.personalitypage.com/INTP_per.html

Relationships are difficult. I am an INTP and I have never succeeded in one. ESFJ and ISTP were failures. Lack of confidence is one problem. The other problem has been rivals and social circumstances. I feel deprived right now.


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## ThisProtest (Apr 29, 2009)

Two nights in a row of "sex," and completely one sided. He's selfish. He's also lucky he had any contact with me for so long. For a while he seemed to care about us and me but he doesn't any more. Actions speak loudest.


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## decided (May 17, 2009)

Don't convince yourself he doesn't care - it's most likey not true!

I think you might need to relax about it, just hang out and let him know that not doing something is okay. Of course, this would take a lot of patience, which you might be running out of.

Perhaps you could try masturbating together, and talking to each other about how you're feeling etc. He might relax more and eventually get more into it.

Good luck!


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## ThisProtest (Apr 29, 2009)

decided said:


> Don't convince yourself he doesn't care - it's most likey not true!
> 
> I think you might need to relax about it, just hang out and let him know that not doing something is okay. Of course, this would take a lot of patience, which you might be running out of.
> 
> ...


I appreciate what you have to say but it was over 3 weeks ago that he last showed interest in pleasuring me. We've been sleeping together for over 2 months and after the first few times he stopped trying until I brought it up and I'm not kidding, it took two discussions about it before he tried. 

So, I feel quite embarrassed too :blushed:

As you can see from the thread, I cared for him so I assumed the best. I still think he's insecure for the reasons stated but truly, he's selfish too. I almost feel like he's withdrawing and wants me to complain again.


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## decided (May 17, 2009)

I still think you should assume the best, ie. he adores you, but he does need to be brought around!

I can kind-of relate to your predicament a bit. My husband is an INTJ, and thinking about being sexual is not a natural thing for him. We completely love each other and we have a great sex life, and he is very attentive, but his brain does sometimes get stuck in Neutral.

I have a habit of incorporating fun and not-so-subtle hints throughout the day, to boost his ego and get his brain thinking the 'right' way. Subtlety really does NOT work! Doing this generally means that he's keen to initiate things himself later on, without me having to nag or 'surprise' him.

Wow, I just realised that I enjoy and am so used to flirting with him and encouraging him throughout the day that I had forgotten that I had actually needed to learn to do it! :laughing:

You could try things like that...?

... And I'll let you know if I think of any more ideas.


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## Syn Exquisite (May 18, 2009)

Hrmm he's selfish? Does he lack creativity and technique in the sack?

Suggest watching porn with him, talk dirty, find out what he likes, and turn him on with what you like such as reverse cowgirl or whatever. 

I am an INFP, and a i think a lil INTP b/c I am a science major. But I always make sure the girl is satisfied first and I really love to get freaky like spanking, and rough sex. Grrr baby very GRRRRRR!

My father is an INTJ, and had a huge porn collection. I found it when I was 6 yrs old and thats why I am a horndog.





decided said:


> I still think you should assume the best, ie. he adores you, but he does need to be brought around!
> 
> I can kind-of relate to your predicament a bit. My husband is an INTJ, and thinking about being sexual is not a natural thing for him. We completely love each other and we have a great sex life, and he is very attentive, but his brain does sometimes get stuck in Neutral.
> 
> ...


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## decided (May 17, 2009)

Hehehe, oh I may have somewhat misexplained what my hubby's like. He is very sexual, but if there's other things on his mind there's other things on his mind. It used to hurt my feelings, but I'm overly sensitive, so I figured out a way to make sure that the other things don't take up his brain-space all the time. I'm pretty sure he's thankful I make sure to unleash his inner 'horndog'. :wink:

I agree with the suggestion to talk dirty - another way to make sure his brain is in focus!


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## Perseus (Mar 7, 2009)

*Star Trekkers*



Syn Exquisite said:


> My father is an INTJ, and had a huge porn collection. I found it when I was 6 yrs old and thats why I am a horndog.




INTPs and probably all Questor NPs are Star Trekkers, warily wishing to explore new worlds ..... but beware of Klingons! Now she won't let go!


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## Syn Exquisite (May 18, 2009)

There were some hot klingons in the Next Generation series and movies. They were stacked. I'd hit it.



Perseus said:


> INTPs and probably all Questor NPs are Star Trekkers, warily wishing to explore new worlds ..... but beware of Klingons! Now she won't let go!


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## Perseus (Mar 7, 2009)

*I never figured her for a Klingon (=Vampire), but it is hard to know from the first kiss. *



ThisProtest said:


> I'm a sexually experienced ENFP woman who now has her first less experienced partner. Some other partners were I's, but all had been around the block a lot while this guy has only made a few trips. How can I help the INTx with inhibitions? When we have sex I think he's _thinking_ as we're doing it and not enjoying the moment. At times he psyches himself out.
> 
> Any suggestions from those who are this guy's type or from those who've enjoyed sex with this type?





He might have been with a Bear ISTP or God forbid a Bully/Cow ESTJ before. These animals are unpleasant. However, inhibitions are caused by the circumstances. If the watering hole is full of Guards SJ, any NP is going to feel uneasy. If there is dirty Rat ISXJ in the vicinity and the sweet nauseous smell of this rodent, beware it will take a day or two for homeostasis to return.


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## noosabar (Mar 14, 2010)

Just say Im yours, use me as you will. Damn Id go crazy


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

noosabar said:


> Just say Im yours, use me as you will. Damn Id go crazy


Really? That would make you go crazy? I would be totally put off sex if someone said that to me.


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## noosabar (Mar 14, 2010)

skycloud86 said:


> Really? That would make you go crazy? I would be totally put off sex if someone said that to me.


If I loose my inhibitions, and I know that its ok, and I dont have to stress about doing it right, or wrong, eliminate the room for error or awkwardness, I would relax and explore more openly Go crazy even.:laughing:
Yeah I think Im just a perverted weirdo.


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## pacifythis (Jul 16, 2009)

If he likes to drink, offer him a beer or two to loosen up. You don't want him to be TOO drunk or he may have trouble keeping an erection or possibly throw up on you lol.

But a little alcohol could help with the first few times, until he can get comfortable with you and sex being sober.

If you see that hes really in his head while your having sex I wouldn't ask him "Why are you thinking so much?" or anything along those lines. This could just make him retreat further into his mind and cause him to be paranoid that hes not doing it right. 

Maybe some more time with foreplay could help him loosen up to the idea of sex and help him get ready to clear his mind of any insecurities, doubts, worries, thoughts before things really start to get hot and heavy.:crazy:


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## timeless (Mar 20, 2010)

Very very simple. Sit on the bed, ask him to get something for you across the room. When he stands up, elbow him hard in the gut. I know what you're thinking - this is pretty extreme, but hear me out. He'll probably double over at this point, your goal is to knock the wind out of him. Once you've done that, push him on the bed, and get on top of him, and start kneeing him in the crotch repeatedly until he starts crying. Your goal here is to scare him into submission through physical violence.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

timeless said:


> Very very simple. Sit on the bed, ask him to get something for you across the room. When he stands up, elbow him hard in the gut. I know what you're thinking - this is pretty extreme, but hear me out. He'll probably double over at this point, your goal is to knock the wind out of him. Once you've done that, push him on the bed, and get on top of him, and start kneeing him in the crotch repeatedly until he starts crying. Your goal here is to scare him into submission through physical violence.


*Looks at Promethea suspiciously*


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## SlowPoke68 (Apr 26, 2010)

If he's anything like I was years and years ago, you back him into a corner and threaten to tell everyone that he's a lameass who can't even make a decision to fuck a girl who's throwing herself at him.

I eventually got better . . . . after cultivating my "E". :wink:


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

SlowPoke68 said:


> If he's anything like I was years and years ago, you back him into a corner and threaten to tell everyone that he's a lameass who can't even make a decision to fuck a girl who's throwing herself at him.
> 
> I eventually got better . . . . after cultivating my "E". :wink:


I wouldn't call him a lameass for that. What if the sexes were reversed, would she be a lameass?


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## SlowPoke68 (Apr 26, 2010)

skycloud86 said:


> I wouldn't call him a lameass for that. What if the sexes were reversed, would she be a lameass?


No, I think the preferred term is "cocktease", which is what I was kind-of being in my own particular way with her.

Pretty sure she was an xNTP, by the way.


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