# Relations of activity and duality, close relationships



## finesthour (Jun 12, 2014)

@ cyamitide (and others)
I have nothing against Socionics as a general rule, but seriously FUCK ACTIVITY RELATIONS in a close relationship. And to a slighlty lesser extent FUCK DUALITY. Are you fucking serious Socionics? Ego similarity tends to be a GOOD THING, and maturity helps similar people be different but the same. 

I'm genuinely interested in what your experience is. I'm also wondering if me being an INFP for example makes an activity/ISTJ interaction uniquely problematic.


----------



## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

It helps to approach the topic with no pre-judgement. Otherwise your biases are going to taint everything about the subject. Maybe cyamitide will have more to add.


----------



## The_Wanderer (Jun 13, 2013)

What the flying fuck are you on about, @finesthour?


----------



## Vermillion (Jan 22, 2012)

The_Wanderer said:


> What the flying fuck are you on about, @_finesthour_?


Sanest possible reaction.

But really, I'm curious too. @finesthour, can you clarify what you meant?


----------



## Word Dispenser (May 18, 2012)

I think I see what he's getting at.

I try not to take Socionics relations _too _seriously, and I don't think anyone else should either. I think Duality is something which rarely occurs properly, to be honest, _if _it has any merit, because there are so many variables that are dependent upon its success. 

For example-- The two people probably need to have similar interests. They also need to have similar life goals. 

That could very well be impossible in most cases, because: Si worldview is very different from Ne worldview. Se worldview is very different from Ni worldview.

These variables apply to _any _successful relationship, as well. No one is saying that the relationship would be easy.

And I bet that if all of the variables are in place, a perfectly acceptable and 'magical' conflictor relationship is possible, even if improbable.


----------



## Captain Mclain (Feb 22, 2014)

Yes, you cant just meet an other person and everything magically works out because of type. It is mostly that your communication is effortlessly/gaining for both. Doesn't mean that the person is any good for you in other areas. Your dual can still say things to hurt you by choice but your dual should not hurt you unless intended which can be the case of conflicting relations. 
@finesthour where are you getting? That socionics relations doesnt work or that type relations overall cant be said to have specific properties?


----------



## Typhon (Nov 13, 2012)

Its the power of suggestion. If you start to think "this person is my dual, it needs to work out" you're going to be dissapointed by the speedbumps in the relationship(that happen in _any _relationship).

If I start approaching all ESIs not out of personal attraction or necessity, but out of wanting a dual relationship(attracted to the abstract idea) the psychological distance I excercise in said relationship will be off, and they will wonder why I am so close to them. That in and of itself is enough to screw up a relationship.

Its also true of supposedly incompatible relations. If I start saying "this person is my conflictor", I will approach the relationship with a negative mindset, and it'll screw things up.

The best thing is to approach relationships by letting your feelings(not just immediate emotions/impulses but also your "gut" and your common sense.) guide you.


----------



## finesthour (Jun 12, 2014)

MNiS said:


> It helps to approach the topic with no pre-judgement. Otherwise your biases are going to taint everything about the subject. Maybe cyamitide will have more to add.


OK fine. I was less than 100% serious. However I have a couple of lifelong issues that have a true relationship to the whatever you want to call the Socion.


----------



## finesthour (Jun 12, 2014)

Amaterasu said:


> Sanest possible reaction.
> 
> But really, I'm curious too. @finesthour, can you clarify what you meant?


I don't think I really can because it's about complicated things that came out through sociotypes and became worse. On the more humorous side, I really have no idea what any of the Youtube duality videos are talking about. I was kind of driven over the edge by something Mylia Noir said in her comment box in her ENTP video. 

I technically meant it when I made fun of Socionics. That's NOT THE SAME as being against anyone's relationship. It's about "Activity" being a euphemism for "nothing in common." Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe all MBTI intjs think that esfps will save the world!


----------



## finesthour (Jun 12, 2014)

Captain Mclain said:


> Your dual can still say things to hurt you by choice but your dual should not hurt you unless intended which can be the case of conflicting relations.


"hurt you by choice" lolz. 

I think there is always something to be learned by from the extrapolations, but duality and activity are just so bad. Can't they just be neutral. If I was a psychologist I would consider that to be a more ethical approach. 

So, outside of everyday life how do you experience duality in a close friendship. Is it the bees knees?


----------



## Captain Mclain (Feb 22, 2014)

finesthour said:


> "hurt you by choice" lolz.
> 
> I think there is always something to be learned by from the extrapolations, but duality and activity are just so bad. Can't they just be neutral. If I was a psychologist I would consider that to be a more ethical approach.
> 
> So, outside of everyday life how do you experience duality in a close friendship. Is it the bees knees?


Ye hurt you by choice. Then there are miss-communication that can hurt. I think dual is very neutral. Only in times of need duality stand out as the strongest relation.


----------



## finesthour (Jun 12, 2014)

Captain Mclain said:


> Ye hurt you by choice. Then there are miss-communication that can hurt. I think dual is very neutral. Only in times of need duality stand out as the strongest relation.


Duality is neutral with overtones pointing to "I'm going to kill you and make it look like you were choking yourself"


----------



## Captain Mclain (Feb 22, 2014)

finesthour said:


> Duality is neutral with overtones pointing to "I'm going to kill you and make it look like you were choking yourself"


sure you are not miss-typed? Or miss-typed that estj? Estj can look like estp and infj can look like infp. estj-infp dual. Estj-infj conflict. estp-infp conflict. estp-infj dual.

Also, nice "friend".


----------



## finesthour (Jun 12, 2014)

Captain Mclain said:


> sure you are not miss-typed? Or miss-typed that estj? Estj can look like estp and infj can look like infp. estj-infp dual. Estj-infj conflict. estp-infp conflict. estp-infj dual.
> 
> Also, nice "friend".


1. I am sure I'm not mistyped. 

2. I was joking so the other person doesn't exactly exist.

3. As for estp, I once had one following me around in his truck for no good reason.


----------



## Captain Mclain (Feb 22, 2014)

finesthour said:


> 1. I am sure I'm not mistyped.
> 
> 2. I was joking so the other person doesn't exactly exist.
> 
> 3. As for estp, I once had one following me around in his truck for no good reason.


So all types hate you?


----------



## finesthour (Jun 12, 2014)

Captain Mclain said:


> So all types hate you?


of course


----------



## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

the perhaps the problem isn't with the "duality"...


----------

