# Help me! How should I improve my image?



## DasPhillipBrau (Apr 2, 2010)

I really want to look attractive you know? I consider myself to be an ugly guy...im 1,70mt im extremely slim, I have kind of a big nose, I have full lips and since im so slim they dont go with my face :S my hair is curly and is extremely hard to get a nice style on it and I have a HUGE adam's apple.
I would really love that females would stop considering me ugly, I mean that I dont get rejected by the girl I like every single fucking time I try...
so here are some pics of me in some angles




















































pls tell me with your most sincere opinion...which aspects should I try to improve??? also pls excuse me I know that the pics are extremely small, my webcam has terrible resolution


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## CuritadeRana (Mar 19, 2010)

First of all the most attractive part of a man....is his self-confidence. Even if you got the best haircut, or had a total body makeover....if that self-confidence is not there it is hard to attract a female and part of that is accepting yourself the way you are...."warts" and all. My first boyfriend was uglier than sin but he never had a problem attracting the ladies. He was very self-confident and found it easy to talk to women and relate to them. Unfortunately he was also ugly on the inside which was why I stopped seeing him. 
I just googled this under amazon books...
http://http://www.amazon.com/Teen-Love-Relationships-Book-Teenagers/dp/1558747346/ref=cm_lmf_tit_2/176-3431544-3746419

I figure it is pretty safe and practical advice since it's part of the Chicken Soup series. Personally I don't find anything wrong with your looks so the only other thing I would probably focus on would be practicing good hygiene and thinking about if you keep asking out the same type of girl over and over. You may want to try asking out someone who is different.


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## SlowPoke68 (Apr 26, 2010)

Yeah, what CuritadeRana said.

Your best investment is in yourself. I'm talking about developing your interests and thereby increasing your confidence. Activities like theater, sports, public speaking, other things that get you out in front of people and force you to be social. A skill that you can show off. . . something you can claim to have mastered in some way. These things help, and because they can't be purchased they are more "real" than anything quick and dirty. Girls can sense self-confidence and there is really not easy way to develop it for real. I mean--I guess you could have a beer--but that won't get you far.

A good haircut would help. Clothes and shoes--as long as they make you feel better about yourself and aren't just a costume you're wearing.

And, believe it or not--sometimes glasses help. Sometimes they can act like a mask that allows you to be more extroverted than you would be otherwise.


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## DasPhillipBrau (Apr 2, 2010)

CuritadeRana said:


> First of all the most attractive part of a man....is his self-confidence. Even if you got the best haircut, or had a total body makeover....if that self-confidence is not there it is hard to attract a female and part of that is accepting yourself the way you are...."warts" and all. My first boyfriend was uglier than sin but he never had a problem attracting the ladies. He was very self-confident and found it easy to talk to women and relate to them. Unfortunately he was also ugly on the inside which was why I stopped seeing him.
> I just googled this under amazon books...
> http://http://www.amazon.com/Teen-Love-Relationships-Book-Teenagers/dp/1558747346/ref=cm_lmf_tit_2/176-3431544-3746419
> 
> I figure it is pretty safe and practical advice since it's part of the Chicken Soup series. Personally I don't find anything wrong with your looks so the only other thing I would probably focus on would be practicing good hygiene and thinking about if you keep asking out the same type of girl over and over. You may want to try asking out someone who is different.


Yeah I was self confident at the beginning, but after being rejected over and over by girls (it was not only one girl...they were several) I couldn't help myself but to think that I was ugly and that no matter how self confident I was it was not going to change that.
So its kind of hard to be self confident in my case, as for "my inside" a lot of girls tell me that Im the guy with the biggest heart and soul, but I guess its too bad that they aint kissing a heart or a soul.

thanks anyway, btw I dont live in the US so I really wouldnt buy a book from amazon, thanks anyway.
btw are you saying that I am not hygienic??? :tongue:




SlowPoke68 said:


> Yeah, what CuritadeRana said.
> 
> Your best investment is in yourself. I'm talking about developing your interests and thereby increasing your confidence. Activities like theater, sports, public speaking, other things that get you out in front of people and force you to be social. A skill that you can show off. . . something you can claim to have mastered in some way. These things help, and because they can't be purchased they are more "real" than anything quick and dirty. Girls can sense self-confidence and there is really not easy way to develop it for real. I mean--I guess you could have a beer--but that won't get you far.
> 
> ...


Wow...I dont want to be extroverted...im introverted, I really dont wanna change that, I was once a "social butterfly" and then I realized the kind of shit that people was so I would feel disgusted most of the times I was near a lot of people, now I always try to avoid crowds or parties...thats why I kind of preffer girls who are not party animals.

I really dont think that being extroverted will make me more appealing to the ladiezz.

as for the haircut...its impossible to comb my hair, or to use hair gel (it looks terrible, I cant get any hairstyle done) and after cutting it, it grows like in 1 week so it doesnt look good for a period of 2 months after that because its in a middle point...
clothes are extremely hard to find because im very slim, so almost every t-shirt or pants I like are extremely big for me, and those few shirts that are my size are not very cool looking :/

Shoes I already have some, and same for collogne.
well thanks for the help so far guys


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## Just_Some_Guy (Oct 8, 2009)

The single most important thing you can do is to stop being concerned with your image. Everything else will fall in line if you do so.


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## nat2424 (May 3, 2009)

Lightleggy said:


> Yeah I was self confident at the beginning, but after being rejected over and over by girls (it was not only one girl...they were several) I couldn't help myself but to think that I was ugly and that no matter how self confident I was it was not going to change that.
> So its kind of hard to be self confident in my case, as for "my inside" a lot of girls tell me that Im the guy with the biggest heart and soul, but I guess its too bad that they aint kissing a heart or a soul.
> 
> thanks anyway, btw I dont live in the US so I really wouldnt buy a book from amazon, thanks anyway.
> ...


Well sheesh you complain too much! I wouldn't want to date someone so negative either. But you look fine, your hair and clothes look good to me. Thats your style, so rock it and be confident!


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## On the road to Damascus (Oct 1, 2009)

Lightleggy - have you considered doing any volunteer work with other young people? I find that when I am united with other people for a common purpose to help others, I get great energy out of this and then you let your personality, confidence and happiness shine through. You then might be able to meet other young women and get to know them in a less pressure-filled social way and you might be able to ask them out for a casual get-together (date). They will have had the benefit of having met you during the volunteer activities so it would not be so awkward. 

As for your personal style, I find tall, slender men attractive and I'm sure that alot of other women do as well . If you find that you are looking very slender, try layering some clothes on the top. You could layer a long sleeved shirt over a t-shirt which will give you a bit more polished style as well as a bit more substance on the top.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

There is nothing wrong with your appearance. 

Many people are shallow, and can't think for themselves, and end up just going for what their culture/media tells them to go for. It doesn't mean that type is inherently more attractive. Its just what is popular at the time, in the culture. I don't know what the conventionally attractive standard is in your culture, but what I do know is that in every culture, there are people who are attracted to different sorts of people.

Maybe the problem is in what kinds of women you are going for. If you are going for the really normal ones, who all have the herd mentality, and like the same generic men, then that is a problem. You need to find a woman who is going to appreciate a slim NF guy. Sometimes the very normal people prefer other S types. Personality could be part of it. This isn't a problem with you though, as a matter of fact, it makes you special.. unique. A very unique person is going to have a harder time finding a partner who fits them. You are probably more complex than most of those around you, so finding someone who is the same species as you, mentally, will be more of a challenge - and worth the wait.

So far as appearance.. like I said, you aren't unattractive. If you are underweight by some medical standard, then there are ways to put on some weight in a healthy way.. but you are probably fine as far as that goes too. There is a whole wide range of what is considered a healthy weight for your height. I don't see why you are worried about your hair and nose, unless again, it doesn't fit whatever your culture's beauty standards are - in which case, find someone who is above those _nonsensical _standards.


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## Calvaire (Nov 14, 2009)

You're not ugly at all..
I find your features attractive.
Just know different people like different things.
The girls you went for could of been attracted to a certain type.
That yes was not you.
But so what? Find the type of girls that like you for you looks and all.
They're out there,don't worry so much.


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## DasPhillipBrau (Apr 2, 2010)

Thanks for the help guys (or girls mostly) I will try to be more self confident from now on 
btw how could I know what kind of guys did those girls liked? :S its not like they had "I LOVE SLENDER GUYS!" in their forehead...I was just going after the girls I found attractive :S (brown hair, not so tall, nice eyes, not curly hair, nice body, nice personality,very intelligent)


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## Scruffy (Aug 17, 2009)

Shorter hair, not close cut or anything just a little more under-control. Posture, stand up straight shoulders back. 

and of course, confidence. 




> The single most important thing you can do is to stop being concerned with your image. Everything else will fall in line if you do so.


Knowing your image helps with self improvement, both physical, intellectual, and emotional. Just make sure you give people yourself, not a fake.


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## thirtiesgirl (Jun 27, 2010)

I know it might not sound helpful, but I think you look just fine the way you are. What I see in your pics is a cute young guy. If I was in your age group, I'd probably go for you.



Lightleggy said:


> Yeah I was self confident at the beginning, but after being rejected over and over by girls (it was not only one girl...they were several) I couldn't help myself but to think that I was ugly and that no matter how self confident I was it was not going to change that.


Consider that you might be approaching the wrong girls. Maybe give some girls a chance that you might not have given a second look to and you might find someone who thinks you're the bee's knees and likes _all _of you - looks, brains, personality, the good stuff _and_ the hang-ups.



Lightleggy said:


> Wow...I dont want to be extroverted...im introverted, I really dont wanna change that, I was once a "social butterfly" and then I realized the kind of shit that people was so I would feel disgusted most of the times I was near a lot of people, now I always try to avoid crowds or parties...thats why I kind of preffer girls who are not party animals.
> 
> I really dont think that being extroverted will make me more appealing to the ladiezz.


There's a difference between being assertive and being aggressive. A lot of guys who are learning how to be assertive mistake it for aggression, so that may have been why you were turning some people off when you were acting more extroverted. Assertion is being able to show confidence, but not at the expense of others; being able to get what you want, without hurting other people. In other words, an assertive guy will notice a woman, pick up on her signals and if it seems like she wants to be approached, he will approach her and start a conversation. If she then expresses disinterest, the assertive guy will be disappointed but able to walk away without anger, and then approach another woman who's sending out positive signals. The aggressive guy will ignore a woman's signals, approach her even if she doesn't want to be approached, and try to convince her to have a conversation with him. That kind of approach will lose a woman's interest every time. ...In other words, extroversion doesn't mean aggression. It means assertion, confidence and enjoying the company of others. If you practice extroverting yourself a little when you're out with people, it will eventually become easier and you'll get better at it.

Of course, like all introverts, you'll need some good downtime to recharge after an evening of extroverting yourself. But it can be worth it in the end. You'll meet more people, which will up your chances of meeting the right girl for you, the more you get out of your shell.


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## Molock (Mar 10, 2010)

Calvaire said:


> You're not ugly at all..
> *don't worry so much*.


Truth. 

Stop worrying about your appearance. There was a time when I thought that I was ugly too. Now I realize that I was wasting my time focusing on irrelevant details. Just work on your demeanor and clear all the stupid preconceptions about what is and isn't attractive from your mind.


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