# Anxiety and Grocery Store Checkout Lines



## Rose of Sharon (Dec 18, 2010)

I have decided to write about an event makes me extremely fearful and anxious... to the point of almost leaving the situation altogether due to my inability to adapt. 

Grocery store lines- Check out of death. 

These lines are perhaps my greatest source of anxiety so far in my life. I walk towards the checkout counter with trepidation, looking over all of my items in my cart... each one's presence making things more difficult. Why, oh why, did I need celery and pie crusts??!! They will be the end of me. First, it starts off with finding the right line. Do I want to stand behind the 40 year old woman with a screaming toddler or the 20 year old 'just got out of yoga practice' college girl? The first choice will likely annoy the hell out of me, although I will find great satisfaction in looking over her food choices... the likely reason for her burgeoning stomach and hyperactive child. The second choice will make me feel bad about myself. Why am I not taking yoga classes? Shit, she bought organic chicken broth. My eyes wander to my store brand chicken cruelty/ pesticide ridden can sitting in my cart. I knew I should've spent the extra 49 cents on making the world a better place. Look at me, now I'm just a hypocritical, stiff jointed 25 year old woman in a silly hat. I knew I shouldn't have worn this hat.

So I choose a line, the anxiety in me rises... I have to wait for the fat lady to move her cart before I can start the daunting practice of moving all my items from my own basket and onto the black conveyor belt. Of course, just like usual, the fat lady takes her sweet time moving out of my way and the conveyor belt becomes an empty landing strip, ready for my items to swoop in... but alas, I cannot reach! The smooth black surface reaches out before me but I cannot reach! Move lady! For the love of God, move! Now the whole process is fucked. If I'm going to do my part and keep this grocery store running as smoothly as a swiss clock I'll have to work twice as fast to move my items onto the black rubber and into the eager hands aisle 4's checkout clerk. Moving my items as quickly as possible I start to become aware of the people waiting in line behind me, looking over my culinary choices with distaste. Their eyes bore holes into me... sending silent signals that I'm taking too long, I should have had my shit together. Finally, I throw my last items onto the belt and flash my fellow grocery store peers a small smile, hoping to make up for my cart to belt anarchy. No one smiles back. Now, as I turn my head to my right I see that the bagger is bagging my food into plastic bags. Dammit! I forgot to hand over my cloth bags that I am clutching onto in my hands. My knuckles are white from the pressure on those damn bags. The clerk is now saying something to me but I cannot hear all of it... my mind is too busy coming up with ways to reuse those plastic bags later on in the week. Credit or debit? CREDIT OR DEBIT? The clerk is now practically shouting at me and all I can wonder is how he knows I'm not paying cash. Then I look down and realized that I already have my plastic card in my hand. Kudos to me! I'd thought of that earlier so I'd be ready when this time came... can't be too prepared. I swipe my card while staring straight ahead. I can no longer face those people waiting behind me. They hate me after all. I saw their frustrated stares. The receipt prints out and appears as a beacon of hope. I just might make it! Grabbing my cart, I smile widely at the bagger and tell him to have a good night, all the while trying not to look at the unorganized mess that appears in my cart. He's just a high school kid. He shouldn't be expected to know that a quart of oil weighs more than the pillowy loaf bread resting beneath it. So I roll my cart out... heading quickly towards the safety of my car. My heart begins to slow down and I know that I'm in the clear, until I run out of food again...but that's okay, I don't really have to eat... do I?


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

I have an issue with the checkout line also, but its a little different. I'll spare the details as they aren't my point - but basically, I've found that if I talk on my cell phone while I'm going throughout the process, its a piece of cake. MP3 player helps too. Something else that helps, as with any anxious situation, check out mentally - and go someplace else. You need to learn to "catch" yourself, when you have one of these anxiety spirals. I got to a point where I could flip it like a switch. -Off-. All the thoughts and emotions coursing through you grind to a hault for a moment, and you then need to slowly put yourself back on the rails. Choose thoughts that aren't about whats going on in your surroundings. Now, it will help to follow a shopping list so you can dissociate easier. I appear pretty clueless other than following my list, because I'm just not "there." And thats just fine. The goal is to get what you need and get out.

Overall, I would have to say talking on the cell phone is most effective for me. I start rambling on about something and before I realize it, its time to gtf out of that loathsome place.


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## white-knuckle (Mar 4, 2010)

Thank goodness Im not alone in this. Grocery stores in general stress me out. I like small grocery stores for that very reason. Though I once was a checker at a grocery store and that was all the more stressful. The fact that all the customers are in a hurry for some reason, the checker is in a hurry for thier entire 8 hour shift. You hear beeping all day long, customers being picky on how thier groceries are packed, and the worst is the managers at a grocery store. The unneccessary selling points that get added into the checkers jobs, could drive a girl mad. They even have secret shoppers and if you don't say the paragraphed dialogue the fits that get thrown over that.....ughhh so even worse than being a customer is being an employee at a super market.


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## sarek (May 20, 2010)

I am extremely clumsy. I am always nervous of holding people up. So I have my mind all prepped to efficiently take the articles out of my cart, move like hell to the end of the counter and swiftly load them all back in. 
Hopefully I am all done and I can produce my money in time before the lady finishes scanning everything.
The thing is, people in front of me are always slow getting out of my way so I can't move my cart forward in time. And by the time I reach the counter the game is already ahead of me. I hate it when that happens.


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

Rose have you ever tried writing....as a hobby?  thx for the wonderful read, you captured the moment really well.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

If I go to a shop for food (I buy everything else online), I always use the self-serve check out machines if I can. So much better than having to wait behind a load of people and so much better than having to talk to a stranger as they check out what I've bought.


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## deelo (Jan 31, 2011)

I have a 'serious face' too btw. I really enjoyed your blog about th e check out line! Get this, MAYBE this will make you feel better. I have no choice but to take my 3 kids (eight, six, and 3) into the grocery store. I am that person everyone really IS staring at, if anything they are thinking 'are those all hers' and 'they'd better not start crying or fighting' etc...

I often look frustrated at the check out line. I 'gently' (right) tell my oldest to grab her middle sisiters hand so she won't STEAL THE CANDY. and I don't care if anyone hears me say it. maybe embarrassing my child will nip this stealing thing in the bud.

as I 'm putting the stuff on the belt as fast as I can...the 3 year old is now climbing out of the cart...damn that woman behind me is eyeing me like it's my fault. I have 3 dammit! I'm not an octopus with eight arms! and oh, she's thinking 'my kids would never...' or 'If IHAD kids I'd never...' oh I hate judgers.

turn and deal with the situation, bribe her with something, tie her in whatever.
then my oldest is running off to look at a toy nearboy. the middle follows, they start the 'i wants'...God, I'm STILL in the LINE! and peops are staring. just how is this skinny bitch going to handle this. (at least I am entertaining).

Haul in the bunch, threats of no icecream or no movie - GIVE THE middle one a military style SHAKE DOWN, hands up...no candy in ur pockets? 

pay the cashier - try to be pleasant when I want to run - just damn exhausted from this one damn trip.

you feel better now? HA

Kids change perspective.


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