# What can I do having intellect and nothing else, no option of gaining complex skills?



## Arzazar Szubrasznikarazar (Apr 9, 2015)

Just checked my old psychological opinion and I think it outlines my career potential pretty well.

I tend to have high levels of stress and have high anxiety in contact with external world and react with hostility, need a lot of warmth and approval, I have very poor grapho-motor control - I was diagnosed with dysgraphia but I most probably have dyspraxia - they failed to check my general motor control beyond writing :/ .

It obviously makes me completely uncompetitive in customer service, sales and physical jobs, a.k.a. all the shit that is available to uneducated people. I also find lots of manipulation tactics used by sales people absolutely repulsive.

On the other hand, I have very high intelligence with very high level of abstract thinking, logical-conceptual thinking, analytic-synthetic thinking. Don't know how I can use it without gaining complex skills, though.
Can't get any complex skills until my situation stabilizes. Right now the filthy subhuman social Darwinist cockroaches are using terrorist threats of starvation against me which puts me in such extreme stress that most of time I can't study at all.

My dream job would be a propagandist of some kind of a cool and virtuous regime, writing hate propaganda to prepare for extermination of certain groups or something. Though I'm not sure if I could write Wh40k-level stuff :/ .


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## CyborgSirenSong (Sep 4, 2016)

Arzazar Szubrasznikarazar said:


> My dream job would be a propagandist of some kind of a cool and virtuous regime, writing hate propaganda to prepare for extermination of certain groups or something. Though I'm not sure if I could write Wh40k-level stuff :/ .


No understand what does this mean?


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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)

Ha ha, like marketing and graphic design?

Work for a large media company and make all the propaganda you want?


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## bigstupidgrin (Sep 26, 2014)

Arzazar Szubrasznikarazar said:


> Just checked my old psychological opinion and I think it outlines my career potential pretty well.
> 
> I tend to have high levels of stress and have high anxiety in contact with external world and react with hostility, need a lot of warmth and approval, I have very poor grapho-motor control - I was diagnosed with dysgraphia but I most probably have dyspraxia - they failed to check my general motor control beyond writing :/ .
> 
> ...


Flip a coin. Heads write as a feminist, tails write as a MRA. Either way if you insult enough you should make a living.


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## Arzazar Szubrasznikarazar (Apr 9, 2015)

Meteoric Shadows said:


> Ha ha, like marketing and graphic design?
> 
> Work for a large media company and make all the propaganda you want?


It has to be hateful ideological propaganda. Corporate stuff is absolutely repulsive.



bigstupidgrin said:


> Flip a coin. Heads write as a feminist, tails write as a MRA. Either way if you insult enough you should make a living.


People get paid for this shit  ? How? Could my writings against suitism and fashion-cosmetic industrial complex be monetized?



CyborgSirenSong said:


> No understand what does this mean?





> Yes it is true what you may have heard whispering amongst the catacombs betwixt the night and nether-night! Why not say it out loud for all to hear. Let the fools doubt and sneer, it matters not. Be proud of your humanity and keep it unsullied and blessed.
> 
> This is as my Master told it to me and now I tell it to thee.
> 
> ...





> To be Unclean, That is the Mark of the Xenos
> To be Impure, That is the Mark of the Xenos
> To be Abhorred, That is the Mark of the Xenos
> To be Reviled, That is the Mark of the Xenos
> ...





> With the bolter, cleanse the unclean
> WE WILL CLEANSE!
> With the flamer, purify the unholy
> WE WILL PURIFY!
> ...


I can't write stuff like this  .


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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)

Arzazar Szubrasznikarazar said:


> It has to be hateful ideological propaganda. Corporate stuff is absolutely repulsive.
> 
> 
> People get paid for this shit  ? How? Could my writings against suitism and fashion-cosmetic industrial complex be monetized?
> ...


Corporate is about as hateful as you can get XD
Hate the environment? check.

Hate poor and repressed minorities? check.

Hate equality? check?


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## CyborgSirenSong (Sep 4, 2016)

Arzazar Szubrasznikarazar said:


> It has to be hateful ideological propaganda. Corporate stuff is absolutely repulsive.
> 
> 
> People get paid for this shit  ? How? Could my writings against suitism and fashion-cosmetic industrial complex be monetized?
> ...


do you write scifi?


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## Arzazar Szubrasznikarazar (Apr 9, 2015)

CyborgSirenSong said:


> do you write scifi?


Tried to. I can't write stories longer than 500 words or so, though.


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

I think writing is a great window of opportunity for you. I was a writer for awhile (though I didn't get paid) because I was sort of in the same situation as you with a disability and only having intelligence going for me. But the pressure of making money from writing got to me. It was more work than fun and I got burnt out, drained of energy. It's a lot of work so if you plan on writing, take my advice and keep it fun for you. 

I switched over my interests, burned my books, and now focus most of my energy on developing my physical body / motor skills. I'll turn it into a career as a personal trainer and I'll gain fulfillment by being an activist for victims, physically helping out where I can. It's a lot of work but I know how to have fun with it and that means I can do it without getting burnt out.


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## CyborgSirenSong (Sep 4, 2016)

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” ~Arthur Ashe

my friend gave me that and it can help me.


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## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

> On the other hand, I have very high intelligence with very high level of abstract thinking, logical-conceptual thinking, analytic-synthetic thinking.


Have you looked into/do you have any interest in any kind of IT, graphics, computer/software-related stuff? If you have interest and internet access, there is so much educational material online that you can teach yourself to the point of complex skills.


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## Arzazar Szubrasznikarazar (Apr 9, 2015)

angelfish said:


> Have you looked into/do you have any interest in any kind of IT, graphics, computer/software-related stuff? If you have interest and internet access, there is so much educational material online that you can teach yourself to the point of complex skills.


I can't teach myself anything complex while these filthy subhuman starvation worshipping cockroaches are threatening me with starvation. There would need to be a return to the arrangements from 2010/2011 school year when I was receiving scholarship/my mother's company had 4x more income than now, so that I would be safe and I wouldn't have to worry about other stuff.

I don't really have interest in IT and I have trouble maintaining focus for most of time because of the constant extreme threat and the irrational hostility of all that inhuman slime. It's an extreme situation. I never know how long I have left to live. Lately foreseeable future has only length of a few months.

I have textbooks and I just finished a community college in the end of August. After the first semester I was passing from semester to semester only because of open book exams that allowed to use internet and textbooks because the filthy subhuman terrorist cockroaches didn't allow me to have peace to study.

My main interests are military history, fantasy, sci-fi and mass murderers. I used to want to be a game developer but I have found programming un-interesting and generally hard to concentrate on - have problems learning specific details.
Most of time when I read about history I instantly forget names, dates, numbers, etc. only sometimes I can memorize them. Like:
I was reading a book about development of Schneider CA and St. Chamond and remember that Estienne (don't remember his name - Auguste) was born in 1860, finished artillery school in Fountainbleu in 1880 and entered military service, moved to airforce in 1909 in order to facilitate cooperation with artillery, since 1912 was pioneering observation of artillery fire from air, when war started in 1914 he was commanding an artillery battalion in 6th infantry division, soon was a commander of whole divisional artillery. On 25h august 1914 after battle of Chorloi he came to conclusion that the first world power that will mount a 75mm gun on an armoured all terrain vehicle will win the war.
Then he started looking for ways to create such vehicle.
He took part in battles one the border, retreat from Sequana, battle of Marne and battle of Verdun. In late 1915 he was visiting English artillery unit and saw a Holt tractor. He immediately realised that it's the basis for the vehicle that he was thinking about. In December 1915 he requested a meeting with General Joffre the commander of French army and he met with his adjutant on 10th December. That's all I remember.
Let's check - there are some errors - he finished the school in 1884. It was battle of Charleroi. He fought in battles in Belgium, retreat to Seine, battle of Marne and battle of Verdun.
But generally, I remembered from it a lot of detailed information.

I'm not usually capable of this, though. Usually, I just forget everything except general sense. The problem with IT is that it's composed of layers of layers of details and it requires constant focus and lots of studying. Found it difficult but doable when in 2010/2011. But after that I was under threat most of time and I could barely focus on learning since then.


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## Ubermeister Of Bogdoglin (Sep 12, 2016)

It sounds like you are experiencing a lot of difficulty right now, you really want some help & support, like things used to be in 2010 & 2011. It sounds like you were just about managing back then, but things are much more difficult now, a lot more stressful & more worry.

Also, I think you are really angry at some people because they aren't supporting you in getting the kind of food you would like. And they are being angry towards you, which is upsetting. I am guessing that you are wanting the situation to be more fair? It sounds like a very extreme situation for you to be in, very distressing.

I'm also getting that you have really enjoyed learning about history, fantasy, sci-fi, etc, lots of interests, I am imagining that you really like getting immersed in thinking about those things, what it must have been like, and maybe what it was like if you were there? It sounds like fun. Also, you enjoy studying, I'm guessing you have got a sense of mastery, accomplishment out of learning new things, but now you are feeling really frustrated because all of the anxiety you are experiencing is making that really difficult for you to do that now.

It sounds like it is really important to you to be able to find some sort of way to contribute that you feel okay about doing (even good about doing)?

When you mentioned the idea of writing hate propaganda for a regime being your dream job, you said you wanted it to be a virtuous regime, so I am guessing that you would like to create some standards for fairness in the world? It sounds like there are some things you value very highly, and you would like to see them shared & embraced more widely. And in terms of it being hate propaganda, I'm guessing there are things that some people do that you find very upsetting, disgusting, even. You'd like to be able to have some control over that kind stuff? You'd really like your voice to be heard?

It mostly sounds like you want some care in a way that you aren't getting right now.

Have I got that about right?


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