# Should I stay with my girlfriend?



## Andrewoo (Nov 15, 2009)

We've been dating for about two months now, shes thinks shes ENTP. I'm not sure that will help or anything. But anyway, I've always had a lot of doubts about this relationship. At the beginning I became frustrated because she didn't want to date when I was ready to. I kind of let it drop off and forget about it, but then two weeks later she says she misses me and wants to go out. That was pretty confusing in itself. 

I've always felt in a way that I connect more with my close friends and that with them I have a more exciting and crazy time than with her. They make me laugh and feel euphoric at times, although their is still the bad. With my girlfriend, I often feel restless and unsure of how I feel about our relationship - if I want it to continue, progress, or slow down. I've talked to others about this, and they usually tell me to just think about it, just live in the present, maybe its just a bad day or something. But I find that this feelings are becoming quite common.

I'm quite sure she likes me more than I do. She always wants to hang out, and usually I do. I can tell by the way she looks at me, and the way she makes subtle hints towards hanging out over the summer or whatnot. When I kiss her, it doesn't feel that great. Sometimes it feels like theres a spark, but often as it does it doesn't. Shes short, and its hard to hug her so it doesn't feel that great. It doesn't make me feel happy and it almost feels just like hugging a friend.

I've thought about breaking up with her, but it makes me nervous to even think about confronting her about it in real life, and I know it'd make her completely break down and sob. She's has relationship problems in the past, which might be the solution to the earlier problem before we started to date. I'm not very good with conflict, it makes me stressed and confused, espically face to face with a person. And the truth is I don't really know what I'd tell her, that I don't feel the connection? The chemistry? Shes the type to want to know the details. She'd try to improve it when in reality there might not be room for improvement. But its not only that, I think about doing things or just not seeing her anymore and it makes me sad. I kind of feel like im loosing something, well someone. I'm loosing someone that I've spent a lot of time with over the past few months, and I'm still not sure if I'm ready to let that go and move on or stay with her and possibly feel less and less towards her.

I'm sorry if I rambled. I need advice, and maybe you can give me some?


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## Lilsnowy (Sep 9, 2009)

So at first you wanted to date but she didn't, then when you did you realized there's very little chemistry. No chemistry this early in a relationship is not good at all, and staying with her isn't fair to her or to you, because of how you feel. No matter how much she might want to be with you now, if kissing her doesn't feel great, what's the point. There should be heat, excitement, dynamic attraction and sexual tension involved in kissing. Not "It doesn't feel that great." 

Even with a really short girl, if you have powerful attraction, height won't be a huge factor. Hard as it may be, if everyone else makes you feel happier than she does, and she seems like 'just a friend,' then it's comfort or fear of the unknown that is probably keeping you with her. 

I would say be compassionate with her and anitcipate that it will hurt her and anticipate that you will miss her, but break up. And then resist calling her when you have nothing else to do, because calling her after breaking up would be confusing.


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## The Proof (Aug 5, 2009)

most of your post is negative, you clearly want to end the relationship


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## KateAusten (Feb 6, 2010)

If you're asking a message board whether you should stay to your girlfriend, the answer is probably no. I don't think all this questioning happens when your heart is really in it. Not that you don't question at all, but you wouldn't feel restless and unsure so often.


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## Vanitas (Dec 13, 2009)

> I've thought about breaking up with her, but it makes me nervous to even think about confronting her about it in real life, and I know it'd make her completely break down and sob. She's has relationship problems in the past, which might be the solution to the earlier problem before we started to date. I'm not very good with conflict, it makes me stressed and confused, espically face to face with a person. And the truth is I don't really know what I'd tell her, that I don't feel the connection? The chemistry? Shes the type to want to know the details.


Man up? Respect her enough to make a clean cut out of it and not waste more of her time than you already have. Yours too, I guess. You'll have to deal with it sooner or later, your choice whether you want to do it now, or say.. 6 months in the future when she already embedded herself into your life and friends and it's even harder. 

Or you can always sleep with her best friend.


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## Ungweliante (Feb 26, 2009)

It can be hard to appreciate something that you take for granted.


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