# Unsure of something that seems so sure.



## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

Hi all. I am interested in a ISTJ. He is extremely shy, and quiet. However I have known him for about a decade and we just started hanging out again. The first night we hung he talked about how he does not do games and I replied that I do not pick up on cues (I really don't, even if it was staring me in the face I would fail to see it). I am generally good at "reading people/vibes". However with him I can NOT get a read for the life of me! (aggravating it is, Yoda I am lol).
Any who, he was giving me gifts, and the next time we hung ou;t we were driving around and I was just rambling not even paying attention to what I was saying about "If we could drive around and do a figure 8". Later driving around he did a figure 8 (going around streets and what not) and said there that is the closest you will get to one. We ended up walking on the beach during a sunset. He kept having me touch his hand because it was cold (he NEVER gets cold, he is a furnace if I ever knew one). Clue? Did he want me to hold his hand? Then the night was ending and we were not sure what to do so he said the only thing we haven't done is eat. I responded that I have no money, he said that I never have to worry about that with him.
This past weekend his friend and his friend's g/f came down for the weekend. He ended up texting me first that day (which has never happened) and asked me to come along with them. He ended up paying for me even[ though I said I could pay for myself (did I mention that he is a REALLY nice guy and will do anything for his friends? So how do I know that he likes me instead of just being a nice guy?]) When they dropped me off he made sure that I knew that our hang out night was still open to do so (and he always gets out of the car to give me a hug good bye or even hi, and sometimes he laughs which I still don't understand).
So here is the kicker and yes I still doubt it, this past hang out we walked out to my truck, I got my coat and he asked me something about if I was cold/freezing I responded my arms were. We did are usual hug goodbye (I have not really seen him hug/ touch anyone either), and as I am letting go to turn to my truck he keeps one arm around my waist. As I fail to notice this I am trying to get away (not in a I hate him because I really don't) and he kind of pulls me/ keeps me in his arm. I start to kind freak/ramble and not look at him because I freak when I like someone and it is not stated if both of us Like each other (even it is it stated that we like each other I still freak). Any advice? Does he like me or is it all in my head? Help....please.....


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## Parade of Sparrows (Mar 16, 2010)

A guy hardly ever pays for someone they aren't interested in... He invited you out with another couple...He hugs you everytime he drops you off. 

Seems like he likes you to me unless you are exaggerating some things.


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## Weiss (Aug 1, 2013)

Yeah I think he likes you as well. I'd only do stuff like that if I were into someone and was trying to get them to like me back. See if you could reciprocate what he does a little and see what he does!


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

talon235 said:


> A guy hardly ever pays for someone they aren't interested in... He invited you out with another couple...He hugs you everytime he drops you off.
> 
> Seems like he likes you to me unless you are exaggerating some things.


Hey Talon, thanks for the advice, and no I am not exaggerating anything


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## Maye (Feb 15, 2015)

I'm an ISTJ and am quite shy as well. I don't know if its just me, or if all ISTJs are like this, but since I am shy and quiet, I don't just hang out with friends all the time. If I specifically planned a get together with a friend of the opposite sex, I wouldn't take them on something that even _looks_ like a double date, unless I was interested in them romantically and trying to get that across. 

I can't tell you for sure that he _consciously_ likes you, or if you are just a friend that he has some romantic feelings for but doesn't _actually_ want to be more than friends with. 

The only way you can know if he is interested in being more than friends is to bring it up. You could ask him if there's any girls he likes or if he's ever had a crush, or what he thinks about love or something, just an idea. Or say it however you want. (just realized you are gen y, so maybe don't use the word "crush" hahaha unless you think he's a romantic and he likes that word)


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

Maye said:


> I'm an ISTJ and am quite shy as well. I don't know if its just me, or if all ISTJs are like this, but since I am shy and quiet, I don't just hang out with friends all the time. If I specifically planned a get together with a friend of the opposite sex, I wouldn't take them on something that even _looks_ like a double date, unless I was interested in them romantically and trying to get that across.
> 
> I can't tell you for sure that he _consciously_ likes you, or if you are just a friend that he has some romantic feelings for but doesn't _actually_ want to be more than friends with.
> 
> The only way you can know if he is interested in being more than friends is to bring it up. You could ask him if there's any girls he likes or if he's ever had a crush, or what he thinks about love or something, just an idea. Or say it however you want. (just realized you are gen y, so maybe don't use the word "crush" hahaha unless you think he's a romantic and he likes that word)


Thanks Maye, its a tough subject. He has (as far as I know) never had a girl friend and is still a virgin. Which I find attractive. He has told me that he brought one girl out for her birthday to a concert and another to..I dn where but he did not consider them dates. When we talked once about g/fs and b/fs he stated that need never felt a void in that part of his life. So it's a if his actions are speaking the complete opposite of his words.


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

Weiss said:


> Yeah I think he likes you as well. I'd only do stuff like that if I were into someone and was trying to get them to like me back. See if you could reciprocate what he does a little and see what he does!


I bought him something that I thought he would like. The next time we hung out he did that hold on to me with one arm thing after out goodbye hug. However it was a tough day for me too.


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## Parade of Sparrows (Mar 16, 2010)

Good, now time to flirt! Why was it a hard day?


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

talon235 said:


> Good, now time to flirt! Why was it a hard day?


It was a hard day for me, since my mother and I argued, and blames me for everything (literally). It hurt a lot, after that meeting with my mom and my doc, I went to go see my cat (that is boarded near him), and then I saw him. I was emotional (more than usual).
We now just spent the afternoon and evening together. We went for a long walk at a park, and then talked by his car for hours. He then brought me out to eat (which took a while for us to decide where to go), however it was a great day.
He is just SO vague when asked direct questions even if I say I need a yes or no answer. I really like spending time with him. I get nervous right before we spend time together. He makes me laugh like no other (seriously). 
I don't want to be direct, since I have read that it can scare ISTJ's away, since they have trouble some times dealing with emotions, and have to think about it before they respond. From what I can tell he does have trouble with emotions, we were even talking about it today. For instance how he said he does not know how to even comfort a person. I told him that guys are different than girls. Some guys sometimes don't need anything and some girls sometimes just knowing you are there is enough, and sometimes its the opposites....He is a VERY hard read for me (and I can read almost anyone I have come across in my life). I fail to read him in any sense unless I look him directly in the eyes on certain things. 
For instance the second time we started hanging out again; he was talking about how he just hangs out with people after a long time of not talking to be nice and its hardly ever because he wants to spend time with/ see them. I was like "So did you let me come over because you wanted to see me or because you were only being nice?" He said nothing besides "What do you think?" I looked him dead in the eyes, and I think his pupils dilated and I could just tell that he wanted to see me. He would not tell me, so I go home and later that night he texted me because that it was he wanted to see me. 
Other times he makes these "hmm" noises to answer a question (with a smirk usually on his face), and I just can't tell. I can barely look him in the eye (for an extended period of time), because I am afraid he would be able to tell that I like him.
I held on to him longer tonight with my head on his shoulder..even though I am an "extrovert" I REALLY do not act like it around a guy that I like. People in the past had NO idea that I liked a certain someone because I am so scared of showing that I do. 
I am afraid of being rejected frankly. It's not that I get so emotionally attached, it is that I am happy and I want to stay that way, and bringing up the situation can make all of it disappear.


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## Parade of Sparrows (Mar 16, 2010)

> It's not that I get so emotionally attached, it is that I am happy and I want to stay that way, and bringing up the situation can make all of it disappear.


Welp. I guess you have your answer then. Only time will tell if this ever turns into anything more than a strangely intimate platonic friendship between a boy and a girl. Some people like the slow build.


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

talon235 said:


> Welp. I guess you have your answer then. Only time will tell if this ever turns into anything more than a strangely intimate platonic friendship between a boy and a girl. Some people like the slow build.


I like the slow build. I like the fact that it feels like he cares and wants to be around me, and cares to listen to what I have to say. It just building my patience (Which is ok) to let things just be slow and unspoken. Which is completely ironic since this is ALWAYS what I wanted yet. I read into things way beyond what they should. I am working on that, I have stopped alot of the "reading into things" that I use to do years back. He is also the only guy I have truly opened up/let get close to to in 3 years.


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## Maye (Feb 15, 2015)

Jddadio85 said:


> Thanks Maye, its a tough subject. He has (as far as I know) never had a girl friend and is still a virgin. Which I find attractive. He has told me that he brought one girl out for her birthday to a concert and another to..I dn where but he did not consider them dates. When we talked once about g/fs and b/fs he stated that need never felt a void in that part of his life. So it's a if his actions are speaking the complete opposite of his words.


Yeah, I'd say you can't really know if he was hinting at something, like that he wasn't interested, or if he just wanted to tell you about that, simply because it was interesting. I really can't tell. _How_ does he talk about that stuff, like anything to do with love or relationships? I don't know how much insight I will be able to offer, as a gen. z girl, but let me know if you can describe it.


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

Maye said:


> Yeah, I'd say you can't really know if he was hinting at something, like that he wasn't interested, or if he just wanted to tell you about that, simply because it was interesting. I really can't tell. _How_ does he talk about that stuff, like anything to do with love or relationships? I don't know how much insight I will be able to offer, as a gen. z girl, but let me know if you can describe it.


It was brought up/catching up with each other the first time was hung out again. How his friends thought they were dates but he did not. He was stating after how he is not one to play "games" with other people and he never understood the concept of it all. I went in to saying how I am not one to pick up on "ques". That is all that I really remember. Another thing that baffles me is this weekend we went for a nice long walk together in a state park, and I ended up letting a dog drink from my water bottle. We then walk for I dn a while longer by ourselves. We stop and he takes a sip of his water, and as I am popping a cough drop in my mouth; offers me his water bottle. I know as for me and myself I really do not do that with anyone and I am a E. I only have done that with the person I am with and have kissed.


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## Maye (Feb 15, 2015)

Jddadio85 said:


> It was brought up/catching up with each other the first time was hung out again. How his friends thought they were dates but he did not. He was stating after how he is not one to play "games" with other people and he never understood the concept of it all. I went in to saying how I am not one to pick up on "ques". That is all that I really remember. Another thing that baffles me is this weekend we went for a nice long walk together in a state park, and I ended up letting a dog drink from my water bottle. We then walk for I dn a while longer by ourselves. We stop and he takes a sip of his water, and as I am popping a cough drop in my mouth; offers me his water bottle. I know as for me and myself I really do not do that with anyone and I am a E. I only have done that with the person I am with and have kissed.


My guess is he would have offered you water anyways. He wouldn't want to drink water in front of you knowing you didn't have access to any. So it can't really be taken as a sign of any sort. 

What you said about him telling you how he did not consider his friends to be dates sounds to _me_ like he was trying to indicate a lack of romantic interest. However, you have to think about the total of things he's said, because I don't know all of them. I would say continue to stay his friend and just figure it out if he has romantic interest in you. 

Would you want to be his friend even if there was no chance of anything else between you? If you genuinely value the friendship as it is, and if you are the type of friends who really get along and have a healthy relationship, then keep it up and maybe you will in the future. I've never dated (at all), or been in a really close with any of my guy friends, or even very romantically interested. But I think that I could tell if we were a good team from the friendship itself, and then date later if we both wanted to.


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## Weiss (Aug 1, 2013)

Jddadio85 said:


> I bought him something that I thought he would like. The next time we hung out he did that hold on to me with one arm thing after out goodbye hug. However it was a tough day for me too.


"No, don't leave. Stay with me longer" is basically what he's saying. XD


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

Weiss said:


> "No, don't leave. Stay with me longer" is basically what he's saying. XD


I thought that too. However his actions are speaking differently than what he is saying. I have decided to take a few steps back and see what happens.


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## Weiss (Aug 1, 2013)

Jddadio85 said:


> I thought that too. However his actions are speaking differently than what he is saying. I have decided to take a few steps back and see what happens.


Hmm, that's odd of him... I agree with your decision.


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

Weiss said:


> Hmm, that's odd of him... I agree with your decision.


And today he gave me a MP3 player with music on it. I AM grateful, since I do not have to put the music on my old phone but just confused.


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## Weiss (Aug 1, 2013)

Jddadio85 said:


> And today he gave me a MP3 player with music on it. I AM grateful, since I do not have to put the music on my old phone but just confused.


What the... An MP3 player? Yeah, I'd be confused too. I am ACTUALLY confused. What kinda music was on it?


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## niss (Apr 25, 2010)

You're over thinking this. Sure, give it time and play it cool, but I'm not sure he could make his feelings more obvious - assuming he is typed correctly.


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

Weiss said:


> What the... An MP3 player? Yeah, I'd be confused too. I am ACTUALLY confused. What kinda music was on it?


 Bands he knows I like. As well as some bands he thought I might be interested in. Mainly metal/punk, and a few other bands or musicians that are not in those categories.


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

niss said:


> You're over thinking this. Sure, give it time and play it cool, but I'm not sure he could make his feelings more obvious - assuming he is typed correctly.


So even though he states that he never had the relationship "void" to fill, his actions are stating the opposite? that is why I am confused.
What confuses me the most is that his personality has always been a very nice guy. SO I never know if he is doing things or giving me things because he is being nice, or because he has feelings.


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## niss (Apr 25, 2010)

Jddadio85 said:


> So even though he states that he never had the relationship "void" to fill, his actions are stating the opposite? that is why I am confused.
> What confuses me the most is that his personality has always been a very nice guy. SO I never know if he is doing things or giving me things because he is being nice, or because he has feelings.


Ask him what he means by "void." Expect an answer involving being complete.

Yes, he is being nice, but he is definitely interested.


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

niss said:


> Ask him what he means by "void." Expect an answer involving being complete.
> 
> Yes, he is being nice, but he is definitely interested.


Kind of already did, that day. I stated after that there is nothing wrong with two people that know who they are being in a relationship...got nothin'


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

Also keep forgetting to state that I met him through an ex years ago. However The ISTJ I am referring to is "Tired" of my ex and they barely talk, if at all. I guess my concern is: Is that something that would stop him (if he ikes me) from moving forward (in time)?


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## niss (Apr 25, 2010)

Jddadio85 said:


> Kind of already did, that day. I stated after that there is nothing wrong with two people that know who they are being in a relationship...got nothin'


Didn't require a response. You threw out an opinion with which he couldn't disagree, and still be a reasonable person.

Remember this about ISTJ's: In a discussion we only communicate to share data points, or information. IOW, there has to be a purpose; else we will maintain silence. So if you state an opinion, with which we agree or see no problem, then a nod will probably be the extent of our response. 

To continue the discussion, make your statement into a question, and draw an answer or response from him.



Jddadio85 said:


> Also keep forgetting to state that I met him through an ex years ago. However The ISTJ I am referring to is "Tired" of my ex and they barely talk, if at all. I guess my concern is: Is that something that would stop him (if he ikes me) from moving forward (in time)?


"Tired" probably means too much drama, or not worth the effort, but it could also be a red flag for your romantic relationship. 

He has to want the relationship as much as you do, and vice versa. If that desire isn't in balance, then you are headed for trouble.

Relationships are delicate things that can be easily damaged or destroyed - particularly in the early stages when people are feeling vulnerable. So don't want this more than he does, but don't push him away, either. Be confident (a really desirable trait), but don't let it become arrogance. 

Trust your intuition. Before you posted this thread, you already knew he was interested, but you over analyzed his actions and created doubt in your mind. Don't want this relationship so bad that you do that - it leads to conforming to him to the point where you can feel that you are losing your identity, which will eventually cause you to resent him.

The attitude that you want to have is along the lines of, "I'm going places in life and it would great to share my life with you. Are you coming with me?" 

Read Steve Harvey's book, "Think Like A Man, Act Like A Lady." He's spot on about 90% of the time.

Don't sleep with him to keep him or get him - it doesn’t work. You want commitment, not a series of monogamous relationships. Love is a commitment - that's what you want. 

Good luck.


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## Weiss (Aug 1, 2013)

Jddadio85 said:


> Also keep forgetting to state that I met him through an ex years ago. However The ISTJ I am referring to is "Tired" of my ex and they barely talk, if at all. I guess my concern is: Is that something that would stop him (if he ikes me) from moving forward (in time)?


Hmm, I don't think so. Especially if he's tired of your ex.


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## Weiss (Aug 1, 2013)

Jddadio85 said:


> Kind of already did, that day. I stated after that there is nothing wrong with two people that know who they are being in a relationship...got nothin'


It's possible that he just took your words are information. And so he'd just think about it briefly and carry on. But, if he did get what you were trying to say, something's preventing him from moving forward. He could be worried about a consequence that might occur. If so, it's a personal thing he needs to sort out.

Instead of trying to get responses out of him, try learning more about him. Ask him questions and make him think. Try to understand his beliefs and opinions. Take his answers and understand him with them. If you haven't done this already that is.

If I know ISTJs well enough, the more important bits of info that will paint a much clearer picture for you of how they're thinking once it's mentioned are the ones that can only be obtained by asking the right questions. In the end, you may have to ask him directly what he feels about you and what he wants if the other methods just aren't working.


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

So today we went on our usual adventure of walking, then out to eat. When we were coming out of the restaurant (I forget how exactly it happened) I believe he asked me if I was cold. I said yes. He put his arm around me! I ended up wrapping my arm around his waist and putting my head on his shoulder. Patience seems to be the hint here  If I am reading this correctly.


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

@Weiss So I told him that I like Him tonight as he was dropping me off (I ended up sleeping over his house in a different room on a adifferent floor), He ended picking me up last night as well. We went out for lunch. Then when we were giving each other a hug good bye I rested my head on his shoulder like I always do, and he did the same, I did not fell the rush to let go. When we were done I ended up saying something like" I dont know how you are going to respond but I need to tell you that I like you. He laughed and smiled. Then I said and hanging out tomorrow is totally up to you if you want to or not. He responded "I dont care". Any Advice?


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## Weiss (Aug 1, 2013)

I was actually wondering how it was going with you and your ISTJ. ^___^ And now I see you guys are resting your heads on each others' shoulder and sleeping at his house. Niiiiiice. XD

Whoa, awesome, so you told him you liked him? =O Did he say it back? Because he needs to say it back. I mean seriously. Don't like... rush him to say it, because when he finally does decide to say it, I'm sure it's gonna be the most amazing thing for you to hear in a long time. ^___^ Give him like... a week? to give him a chance to tell you he likes you back, but after that, assume something is up. =/ He could be unsure of his feelings or he's considering something he didn't consider before. You can then start asking him about his feelings for you. Because for someone to say that they like a person is a really big deal. =/ It means you want something more serious and concrete right? So he needs to take it seriously. And you need to bail if he isn't doing exactly that.

When he said that he doesn't care, I think it was probably because you told him you liked him, so he was flattered and/or excited. Those kind of emotions would mess with my head and prevent me from thinking straight and so giving the actual message in the right way. XD So what I interpret from him saying he "doesn't care" is not really that he doesn't care, but that he's basically saying "it's up to you". BUT, I would only do that when I feel comfortable enough with the person and care enough about the person to "let them take full control" of the situation. So if I'm correct, he wants to give you what you want, so if you want to meet up with him, it's cool, if not, it's also cool, because his concern is about what YOU want and what makes YOU happy. 

Jddadio, please don't put too much faith in my analysis, it's just my understanding of the whole thing, I could always be wrong. ^____^ So take what I explain with acknowledgement that the situation may actually be something else and be cautious for your emotions sake. It's not over till it's over and that's when you two get together.

So my advice for now would be give him a chance to share his feelings when he's comfortable. He's probably thinking about something he didn't consider before. But it doesn't matter. Once someone says they have feelings for the other, the truth needs to be told and things need to be explained so no one gets hurt and no one wastes their time. So wait a week and then ask him about his feelings. But at that point, how you do it is up to you. Because at that point, it will be kinda awkward for the ISTJ. He'll be pushed into a corner, but he put himself there when he took this long to respond to your feelings and you need to know how he feels and what he's doing.


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

I figured I would give hi a few days or so to let him say how he feels. And your analysis seems to be pretty dead on about how he acts/says things. However I tend to ask him things to get clarity if need be. I think he just needs time to express in words what he wants or how he feels. which is one thing I have been waiting for, which is why I took the first step and told him since his actions are speaking louder than his words right now...Yea thank you @Weiss


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## Weiss (Aug 1, 2013)

You're welcome Jddadio. ^___^


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

@Weiss So today my cat got really sick and had to bring him to the Vet. Mischief my cat is in boarding near ISTJ dude. after the cat was done at the docs and ISTJ was done doing things with his parents I went over his house. We hung out with his parents like we always do, ate yada yada yada. We went downstairs to his living area and he kept showing me "honest Trailers" among other youtube videos/gamers that were funny. Gave him one of his Bday presents and we talked a little outside near my truck before I left. It got quiet so I said "Hug?" Something I usually dont do, but since what happened last night happened I wasnt sure on his stance. We hugged and it felt fine nothing weird then (or really at all tonight). However when I got home I asked if him and his rents wanted help tomorrow fixing up the things that are working on at the Beach House, and if he is not tired of me yet (since we have seen each other everyday since friday) and he said "ok" I responded a "ok as in?" He said "If you would like to come over feel free. we will be there." (we usually meet at his house and he drives us both other there) Any Advice? Sorry just really out of it today my cats blood draw did not come back good at all, and is really sick, like might have cancer sick so I want to spend time there because they all help me focus on other things beside my mind, but I dont want to over step my bounds.

Maybe just go to help out and then when they are done go to my house, instead of going other theirs?


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## Weiss (Aug 1, 2013)

Jddadio85 said:


> @*Weiss* So today my cat got really sick and had to bring him to the Vet. Mischief my cat is in boarding near ISTJ dude. after the cat was done at the docs and ISTJ was done doing things with his parents I went over his house. We hung out with his parents like we always do, ate yada yada yada. We went downstairs to his living area and he kept showing me "honest Trailers" among other youtube videos/gamers that were funny. Gave him one of his Bday presents and we talked a little outside near my truck before I left. It got quiet so I said "Hug?" Something I usually dont do, but since what happened last night happened I wasnt sure on his stance. We hugged and it felt fine nothing weird then (or really at all tonight). However when I got home I asked if him and his rents wanted help tomorrow fixing up the things that are working on at the Beach House, and if he is not tired of me yet (since we have seen each other everyday since friday) and he said "ok" I responded a "ok as in?" He said "If you would like to come over feel free. we will be there." (we usually meet at his house and he drives us both other there) Any Advice? Sorry just really out of it today my cats blood draw did not come back good at all, and is really sick, like might have cancer sick so I want to spend time there because they all help me focus on other things beside my mind, but I dont want to over step my bounds.
> 
> Maybe just go to help out and then when they are done go to my house, instead of going other theirs?


Oh wow, sorry for the late reply. =/ Been busy with stuff to do anything else.

Uuhm... In this particular scenario I don't really see anything wrong with asking him if you could help out. From my side, I'd be delighted if someone wanted to help me and the family with something. It means the boring just got a lot less boring. ^___^ Then again it depends on what it is. I would worry if she'd get bored so... I'd probably respond the same way he did. XD Because I wouldn't be sure what the "right" thing to do is so I'd just let her come if she wanted to. ^___^

But yeah, I understand your concern with overstepping your bounds. Ask him a few times with time intervals to allow him to ask you to come help and spend time with him and his family. It's really cool that his family knows you by the way. ^____^

I hope everything is okay with your cat. =/ I realize it's been a while since I last checked and responded so I may have missed a lot... But I hope everything is okay.


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

@Weiss
No worries on the late reply, I understand that life gets busy to busy sometimes. 

One thing that keeps eating me away is on Sunday when I slept over last week, before his parents got home. ISTJ stated that he knew they would not be home that day to be able to go to the beach house and work there. So he never told me this when I said I wanted to help out there he just said ok.


Thanks for caring about Mischief, he is doing ALOT better, we have a follow up appointment tomorrow at 3.

I backed off and did not text him from Wednesday until he texted me on Saturday night. We are hanging out again tomorrow.

Everyone guy I basically talk to about this says to just kiss him already, but is it wrong to want him to state if he does or does not like me? I mean tomorrow will be a little over a week. How do I bring it up on if he does or does not?


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## Weiss (Aug 1, 2013)

Jddadio85 said:


> @*Weiss*
> No worries on the late reply, I understand that life gets busy to busy sometimes.
> 
> One thing that keeps eating me away is on Sunday when I slept over last week, before his parents got home. ISTJ stated that he knew they would not be home that day to be able to go to the beach house and work there. So he never told me this when I said I wanted to help out there he just said ok.
> ...


Glad to know Mischief is doing better. ^____^ May he continue to do so.

In regards to what he didn't mention when you wanted to help out, I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe he found out his parents weren't coming shortly AFTER you asked. But either way, I don't think it's something to be concerned with. What exactly is bothering you about him not mentioning that he knew his parents would not be home?

In regards to your guy friends telling you to kiss ISTJ already, you've already told ISTJ you like him and he hasn't given you a response. How would you feel if you tried to kiss him and he ends up telling you that he doesn't have feelings for you at that moment?

Been a little over a week huh? When you two are just chilling out, alone, bring it up. When you feel it's the right moment to talk about this, then do so. Trust your gut. Say something like,"Y'know, you never told me if you had feelings back for me when I said that I liked you." But don't say it so pushy like it sounds like to me in my head. XD In the end, you want to make it easy for him to admit his real feelings, so use some of that feminine softness to coax him. XD

If he does anything other than tell you how he feels about you, changing the subject or saying he doesn't want to talk about it, assume he's not serious or not ready. You can wait some more and attempt to ask him again, but I would recommend only once after you bring it up this time. A week is more than long enough.


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

@Weiss 
So I know this is going to sound weird but we were saying our goodbyes tonight and he did not hug me back, he just stood there like a rock. we have ALWAYS hugged goodbye. We did not argue or anything close to that we just talked tonight. It seemed awkward since I got to the house tonight. And his mom wants me to go out to dinner with them all on this coming Monday for ISTJ birthday. I dn what to do Advice?


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## Weiss (Aug 1, 2013)

Jddadio85 said:


> @*Weiss*
> So I know this is going to sound weird but we were saying our goodbyes tonight and he did not hug me back, he just stood there like a rock. we have ALWAYS hugged goodbye. We did not argue or anything close to that we just talked tonight. It seemed awkward since I got to the house tonight. And his mom wants me to go out to dinner with them all on this coming Monday for ISTJ birthday. I dn what to do Advice?


Nah, doesn't sound weird. To me anyways. He's an introvert. He's gonna want some time away from people at some point. I'm like that too. Even to family or to a girl I like or in a relationship with. ^___^. I will want to do something else with some other people. And after I'm done, I return. Like I'm bound. So don't take it like he's beginning to get bored of you or losing feelings. Just be cool, let him do whatever, for now. If I'm correct, he's begun to see you as a part of his life. So he will begin focusing on other things while focusing on you. His attention will begin to balance with things he's been neglecting while he's been spending all that time with you. I do that. So he might be doing the same.

Come to think of it... I do remember times where I was doing something like a habit, like always being the first to say goodbye or hello and then one day my energy was low... so I didn't. And I kinda wanted others to do the work for me. =/ Y'know like say hello and goodbye first instead of me doing it all the time. I was fine that they didn't though, I just overlook things a lot of the times anyway. He didn't hug you, meaning no one hugged right? If so it's fine. Not a big deal.

And of course you should go to his birthday dinner. ^___^

Do you and ISTJ talk about his personal feelings about general things when you guys talk? Is he open like that?


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

Well i hugged him. Asked him why he didn't hug back today and apparently it is becauseI have a sunny and he did not want to hurt me if he hugged me.

We talk about his feelings (or lack of) on a few things now and then. I asked him today through text how he feels toward me. He responded that he likes me and enjoys my company. I am unsure of which 10th of like he meant. I ended up making his stomach turn so I am trying to get him to give me a better courts of action to be able to discuss topics like this. Since Since is have have me to talk about this stuff in person. @Weiss


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

on a positive note. we talked through text message today. It was hard to try and find a way for him to express himself on how he felt emotionally, but we ended up with me asking Yes and No questions. I asked him is he likes me more than a friend he stated on some emotional level yes. I also asked if he ever thought of us holding hands he said "no" but I then asked if he would want to he said "it could be tired" so progress  thanks again @Wiess


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## Weiss (Aug 1, 2013)

^____^ No worries. Keep me updated.


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## Subtle Murder (May 19, 2012)

@Jddadio85 - It's pretty obvious that he likes you, but you're not getting the signals that _you_ need in order to confirm this. Just relax, go with the flow, allow things to progress naturally. All of the texting and second guessing his actions, trying to coerce the confirmation you need from him could drive him away. I think his actions were speaking pretty loudly (never mind what someone _says_: it's always their *actions* you should look for), and I get the feeling that if you keep pressing him for confirmation, you're not going to get it. You're going to get the opposite.  Give him the time and space he needs to test the waters.


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

@Subtle Murder I know that his actions are showing that he does care and or like me. However I am a person that need clarity and confirmation. I have assumed a person has liked me in the past that acted close to his ISTJ guy is and that person did not. I.E. why I need to ask.


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

@Weiss So. Update. We have held hands a few times. and He has put his arm around me in public. We have been talking through a lot of how he is and how I am and it just seems to be working. I have the wedding I am going to with him for his sister. We are going to be sleeping over the beach house afterwards. ISTJ guy has been great in all ways, holding true to his words and even more so surprising me in things I never thought of. We have been hanging out more and more even with his friends and mine. I can not express in words how happy he makes me.


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## Weiss (Aug 1, 2013)

@Jddadio85, wow, I'm really happy to hear that. =) I'm glad things are working out for you and your ISTJ and I want them to continue that way and to improve. ^____^


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

@wiess I will gladly keep you updated. Thank you for all your help. I hope everything is going well in your life. Here if you need an ear


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## Jddadio85 (Apr 20, 2016)

@Weiss Update 
ISTJ guy and I are dating as of the end of August. I got another PT job up his way and sleep over most nights of the week do to my work schedule. I have a draw for my clothes since I stay there so much (his idea). He has just been really great and I can not thank him enough. I had to put two animals down in the past 3 months and he has been there through it all. He just makes me smile..... His family is going away foir a week so he has the house to himself and his 2 guy friends are coming down for the weekend and he said I can stay too if I wanted to.


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## Weiss (Aug 1, 2013)

Jddadio85 said:


> @*Weiss* Update
> ISTJ guy and I are dating as of the end of August. I got another PT job up his way and sleep over most nights of the week do to my work schedule. I have a draw for my clothes since I stay there so much (his idea). He has just been really great and I can not thank him enough. I had to put two animals down in the past 3 months and he has been there through it all. He just makes me smile..... His family is going away foir a week so he has the house to himself and his 2 guy friends are coming down for the weekend and he said I can stay too if I wanted to.


Hey @Jddadio85! Sorry for the massively late reply! Can't believe how long it's been since I last signed in. =/ And I'm really happy to hear things are going great with you two. ^____^ Always nice to see a happy couple. =) And it seems you two are super comfortable with each other and enjoy each other's presence, which is amazing and important. =) Sorry about you having to put down 2 animals. =/ It's a hard and sad thing to do, I know... And your ISTJ was there to get you through it, awesome. ^____^


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