# Women cope better with being single than men?



## doublejm1 (Sep 2, 2012)

Interesting post I wanted to share:





The post is essentially saying that men don't cope as well because they want sex more. Meanwhile, women can use hobbies and activities (cooking, kids, etc.) to get their minds off being single.


While it may be true in some cases, it all depends on the person. Some women hate being single and will do anything to get with someone, while some men are OK with a solitary life. 


What do you think?


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## IDontThinkSo (Aug 24, 2011)

I read somewhere that men's sex drive tends to decrease with prolonged abstinence, whereas women behave oppositely. From my own experience, most people are too horny for their own good and can't stand being single anyways.


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## Derange At 170 (Nov 26, 2013)

Assuming that this is true; I think women cope with it more because they receive a lot more open romantic interest than men generally do. Just look at dating sites; men may get the occasional message, but for the most part do the messaging. Whereas women's inbox tends to brimming with interest.

Secondly, men are affection starved compared to women. Women are encouraged to be affectionate with each other, and also receive more affection as children than men do. Whereas men are a lot more reluctant, or even scared, to be really that affectionate with other men.

So if your only source of potential affection is from a romantic partner, then you're gonna be much needier of a partner than the opposite sex.


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## Laze (Feb 19, 2015)

Gender does have some effects but I strongly doubt that's the main factor to determine how well a person handles being single. There are too many variables to take into considering when thinking about this, for example: how they are nurtured, what personality type, whether or not they are conventionally attractive, past experiences with other relationships, the level of emotional support available to them, the list goes on.

Even things like that culture would play a factor, as relationships work in differently within different societies, as do gender roles. There is so much detail that you would have to go into to genuinely understand this, especially not a few minutes of introspection and slapping the conclusion you came to on every person on the planet—that's ridiculous.


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## EccentricSiren (Sep 3, 2013)

The idea that men want sex more than women is actually a relatively new idea. In medieval times (according to the book Life in a Medieval Castle), women were seen as being the more sexual gender. I think a person's temperament would have more to do with how well they did with being single than their gender. I've known both men and women who always HAD to be in a relationship and both men and women who weren't in relationships, may or may not have wanted to be, but were still emotionally stable.
That being said, I think men and women face different pressures to get into relationships. Men are told they need to have sex and that having sex means that they are "real men". Women are told that they need to find a relationship so they can have children before it's too late.


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## Biracial (Sep 8, 2010)

Sounds like bullshit to me.


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## doublejm1 (Sep 2, 2012)

EccentricSiren said:


> The idea that men want sex more than women is actually a relatively new idea. In medieval times (according to the book Life in a Medieval Castle), women were seen as being the more sexual gender. I think a person's temperament would have more to do with how well they did with being single than their gender. I've known both men and women who always HAD to be in a relationship and both men and women who weren't in relationships, may or may not have wanted to be, but were still emotionally stable.
> That being said, I think men and women face different pressures to get into relationships. Men are told they need to have sex and that having sex means that they are "real men". Women are told that they need to find a relationship so they can have children before it's too late.


Very interesting


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## TheProphetLaLa (Aug 18, 2014)

Not sure if this is true or not but I, personally haven't had much of a problem being single and don't really understand people who are incapable of staying single or without sex for any period of time.


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

TheProphetLaLa said:


> Not sure if this is true or not but I, personally haven't had much of a problem being single and don't really understand people who are incapable of staying single or without sex for any period of time.


Says the one with near constant access to suitors.


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## TheProphetLaLa (Aug 18, 2014)

Agni of the Wands said:


> Says the one with near constant access to suitors.


Well, I was more speaking from the perspective of people who do have the opportunities for dates and such . Both the women and men around me do. I guess we're a good-looking bunch. ^.^ 

Some people just can't seem to stay out of a relationship or without sex. 

But that would be another thing to consider. It is different when its your choice to not be in a relationship and when its "forced" upon you.

Also, I'd like to remind you that not all women have near constant access to suitors. Or there may be a conflict of interests, like some of those "suitors" only wanting sex. Its not quite that simple.


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

TheProphetLaLa said:


> Also, I'd like to remind you that not all women have near constant access to suitors. Or there may be a conflict of interests, like some of those "suitors" only wanting sex. Its not quite that simple.


That is more the entire point. Some have their stomachs growling, and some want to vomit at the thought of having another bite.


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

But here's what I don't understand... you _can_​ have sex by yourself. Why do you absolutely need a human being to do it? If I understand correctly, you can get the sensations on your own (or through toys I guess).


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## TheProphetLaLa (Aug 18, 2014)

Agni of the Wands said:


> That is more the entire point. Some have their stomachs growling, and some want to vomit at the thought of having another bite.


Look bruh. I've never been in a relationship my entire life so I understand. For all intents and purposes my stomach is growling. As a matter of fact, I might just take a bite out of your head.

Having been single for so long. I don't understand people who are incapable of it for any period of time. Being in a relationship I'm sure is a beautiful thing. But there are a lot of other important aspects to life IMO.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Metasentient said:


> But here's what I don't understand... you _can_​ have sex by yourself. Why do you absolutely need a human being to do it? If I understand correctly, you can get the sensations on your own (or through toys I guess).


Well you'll never understand because you're not a male. Ahahahaha you lost. No empathy


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

TheProphetLaLa said:


> Not sure if this is true or not but I, personally haven't had much of a problem being single and don't really understand people who are incapable of staying single or without sex for any period of time.


That's because you need more empathy in your lifestyle.


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> Well you'll never understand because you're not a male. Ahahahaha you lost. No empathy


Explain to the poor, tired, weary old wolf (I think I'm the only person who actually uses "weary" and "wary" right).


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## Psychophant (Nov 29, 2013)

No! I learned. I'm part of that exclusive club now.


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

Yomiel said:


> No! I learned. I'm part of that exclusive club now.


I quote this now so I can taunt you later, yes


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Metasentient said:


> Explain to the poor, tired, weary old wolf (I think I'm the only person who actually uses "weary" and "wary" right).


When you perform masturbation a lot, you need a better method, I personally enjoy an immense amount of friction. This can only be provided by a mattress, and understand some people prefer hardwood floors. The point being, too much of this masturbation will make my pee pee hurt and I wish I could just use a coarse vaginal envelope because nature naturally selected it as being the best surface for the task.


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## Psychophant (Nov 29, 2013)

Metasentient said:


> I quote this now so I can taunt you later, yes


What? Did I make a mistake somewhere?

Whoa, that's very.. forthright.


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## TheProphetLaLa (Aug 18, 2014)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> That's because you need more empathy in your lifestyle.


I'm a motherfuckin monster.


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

but there's other things...


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

Yomiel said:


> What? Did I make a mistake somewhere?
> 
> Whoa, that's very.. forthright.


Never mind. I uh... thought you were responding to the OP.


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## Psychophant (Nov 29, 2013)

Metasentient said:


> Never mind. I uh... thought you were responding to the OP.


Wow, mean.


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

Yomiel said:


> Wow, mean.


I'm sorry, I thought you said it!


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## TheProphetLaLa (Aug 18, 2014)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> When you perform masturbation a lot, you need a better method, I personally enjoy an immense amount of friction. This can only be provided by a mattress, and understand some people prefer hardwood floors. The point being, too much of this masturbation will make my pee pee hurt and I wish I could just use a coarse vaginal envelope because nature naturally selected it as being the best surface for the task.


I feel you my friend.

My clit always gets numb after I masturbate, especially if its taking a while. I don't understand women who can give themselves multiple orgasms?!! How you do eet? I know its a stereotype that women like to cuddle after they have sex with someone and men don't, so I'm going to add another stereotype on top of that and guess its because women don't orgasm as often during sex. Because after I'm done masturbating I'm always really tired. I get the best naps. I like my stereotypes with extra stereotypes on top. Deal with it you green bastard. 


(Dear Mods,

Me and yoda are friends. Don't give me an infraction for calling him a green bastard. I love how green he is. 

Love,

Lala)


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

TheProphetLaLa said:


> I'm a motherfuckin monster.


Your opinions are bad and you should feel bad!


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

TheProphetLaLa said:


> I feel you my friend.
> 
> My clit always gets numb after I masturbate, especially if its taking a while. I don't understand women who can give themselves multiple orgasms?!! How you do eet? I know its a stereotype that women like to cuddle after they have sex with someone and men don't, so I'm going to add another stereotype on top of that and guess its because women don't orgasm as often during sex. Because after I'm done masturbating I'm always really tired. I get the best naps. I like my stereotypes with extra stereotypes on top. Deal with it you green bastard.
> 
> ...


Why would you embrace someone after spilling out your bodily fluids onto their bed!? No sensible person would do that! As a collary, females are less sensible.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Yomiel said:


> Wow, mean.


I know that you're a doppelgänger, where's the real wolfie?


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## Xanthus Primus (Jan 24, 2010)

They pretend to cope. You don't fool me.


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## Psychophant (Nov 29, 2013)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> I know that you're a doppelgänger, where's the real wolfie?


What?


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Yomiel said:


> What?


Don't play Simpson on me, what'd you do?


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

I rather enjoy the umlaut you put there.


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## Psychophant (Nov 29, 2013)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> Don't play Simpson on me, what'd you do?


Whaaaa?


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Yomiel said:


> Whaaaa?


You're not the real one. @Sporadic Aura 
Execute him, this line of questioning is terminated.


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## Psychophant (Nov 29, 2013)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> You're not the real one. @Sporadic Aura
> Execute him, this line of questioning is terminated.


We already duked it out the old-fashioned way.. playing chess over broadband.

I'm still confused, but ok.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Yomiel said:


> We already duked it out the old-fashioned way.. playing chess over broadband.
> 
> I'm still confused, but ok.


I'll tell you why it's not "ok", you bear the emblem of the polar canine. This is a great outrage to Wolfie, the owner of Antarctica.


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## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> You're not the real one. @Sporadic Aura
> Execute him, this line of questioning is terminated.


Only if you provide a guillotine. The French really knew how to execute people with style.


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

yom shud change his wolf avatar is the message i am receiving and transmitting
yes, by the order of alaska, i decree it


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## Psychophant (Nov 29, 2013)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> I'll tell you why it's not "ok", you bear the emblem of the polar canine. This is a great outrage to Wolfie, the owner of Antarctica.


But.. dogs are descended from wolves. Besides, I have a solid reason for liking this specific husky and it even happens to be purple, so I'm keeping it.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Metasentient said:


> Aryans can be fairies too


Stop hurting my feelings wolfie, after all of the songs I wrote


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> Do you have a license for that?


Some people here have concluded that I'm with the FBI, based on my posts, so perhaps in theory, I do.


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## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

She looks straight up albino, maybe its just the glow.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Metasentient said:


> I perceive a shift in the exhibited behavior of the GM Yoda function; indeed, this is inconsistent with my internal reference model.


Yoda=f(Wumbology)


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

yeah, even her dress is albino

singing can be done without a microphone but it sounds bad


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> Yoda=f(Wumbology)


omg math get it off


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Sporadic Aura said:


> She looks straight up albino, maybe its just the glow.


Perhaps you should correct your monitor, the tint is yellowish and I know because all models after the iPad 2 have near reference monitor color accuracy.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Metasentient said:


> Some people here have concluded that I'm with the FBI, based on my posts, so perhaps in theory, I do.


More like the KGB MR PUTIN


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Metasentient said:


> omg math get it off


This is what it all comes down to, anti feminists don't like math and draw poor conclusions because of it, nice job anti feminist


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## Psychophant (Nov 29, 2013)

Honestly, that avatar is unsettling.


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> More like the KGB MR PUTIN


don't make me sic the NKVD on you and ship you off to the gulags for misbehaving


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

Yomiel said:


> Honestly, that avatar is unsettling.


Yes.


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## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

So guys... your thoughts on whether women cope better? In my personal experience... HAHAHA JK as if this thread will ever get back on topic.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Metasentient said:


> don't make me sic the NKVD on you and ship you off to the gulags for misbehaving


I need to borrow your mattress and your most recently used pair of shoes for purely young male purposes


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> This is what it all comes down to, anti feminists don't like math and draw poor conclusions because of it, nice job anti feminist


that would explain a great deal of the stats and numbers coming from certain MRA blogs


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> I need to borrow your mattress and your most recently used pair of shoes for purely young male purposes


Socks will be more effective to that end, however, you shall have none of mine.

I'm sorry x3


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Sporadic Aura said:


> So guys... your thoughts on whether women cope better? In my personal experience... HAHAHA JK as if this thread will ever get back on topic.


Do you really think that females can cope better when they are naturally irrational and not robotic in nature? Don't they need a therapist for that? You need a therapist to transcend your animal deficiencies, would a female not need the same?


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Metasentient said:


> Socks will be more effective to that end, however, you shall have none of mine.
> 
> I'm sorry x3


Why are you doing this? It's only young male things, it's natural.


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

Well, I've met more ace women than men, soo my anecdata says women. Some openly lamented the fact that they needed a man to have a child, since they wanted a child and not the man. (No offense.)


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Metasentient said:


> that would explain a great deal of the stats and numbers coming from certain MRA blogs


And you should really stop reading those and only read from credible websites such as those that end in .edu .org or .gov


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

Flamingo said:


> Trust - I could find you a lonely desperate man that just wants a warm hole and a little giggly female showing him _any_ kind of attention for once.
> 
> If your standards are low enough.


maybe people don't want that? thats not the point. the point is what people want, not what they can lower their standards to get. i can be really horny and not want to be a prostitute, how silly.


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## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

Children Of The Bad Revolution said:


> maybe people don't want that? thats not the point. the point is what people want, not what they can lower their standards to get. i can be really horny and not want to be a prostitute, how silly.


Haha.. You're misunderstanding.

That's is the point. Like I said; if ANYONE (male or female) really - is lonely, or not getting any sex - it is by choice. (With exemption of those with disabilities and disorders).

Of course, most people won't reduce themselves to prostitution or cum-dumpsters; because they don't want it. 

Indeed, your standards just aren't low enough. Even for the sometimes cat ladies.


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## TheProphetLaLa (Aug 18, 2014)

Flamingo said:


> Trust - I could find you a lonely desperate man that just wants a warm hole and a little giggly female showing him _any_ kind of attention for once.
> 
> If your standards are low enough.


How enticing. I've always wanted to be just a warm hole for someone.


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

so its by choice if you don't want to pay a prostitute for an orgasm? er


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## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

TheProphetLaLa said:


> How enticing. I've always wanted to be just a warm hole for someone.


OH, there are plenty of lovely disabled men willing to offer you more than just sex. You just don't _*want*_ them.

Stephen Hawking is a nice example.


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

Flamingo said:


> OH, there are plenty of lovely disabled men willing to offer you more than just sex. You just don't _*want*_ them.


how do you know what i want or dont want?

stephen hawking? isnt he married with a family?

how random tbh


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## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

Children Of The Bad Revolution said:


> how do you know what i want or dont want?
> 
> stephen hawking? isnt he married with a family?
> 
> how random tbh


......

I have determined that any further discussion with you is pure idiocy.

Discussion is now closed.


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

Flamingo said:


> ......
> 
> I have determined that any further discussion with you is pure idiocy.
> 
> Discussion is now closed.


no need for ad hominem because you're talking rubbish, is there?


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## The_Wanderer (Jun 13, 2013)

Children Of The Bad Revolution said:


> because you're talking rubbish, is there?


There's still no real need to continue discussion when _you're_​ the one talking rubbish, though.


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

The_Wanderer said:


> There's still no real need to continue discussion when _you're_​ the one talking rubbish, though.


Okay, I'll bite and temporarily go back to school:

How was _I_ talking rubbish?


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## Aelthwyn (Oct 27, 2010)

I think a significant factor is that the level and type of closeness women are allowed with their friends seems to be greater than what is culturally expected for men, allowing women to have more of their needs fulfilled through other relationships, minus the sex, while it seems likely that men will miss out on more beyond the lack of sex. It's generally more acceptable for women to be affectionate with their friends, hugging and being touchy is not looked upon as awkward the same way it is between men. It's also generally more acceptable for women to share their weaknesses, concerns, feelings with other friends, whereas for men there seems to be a greater need to look competent and independent, to not burden their friends with their needs or not appear vulnerable/weak to other guys, meaning they may not have the emotional support or place to be really open without a close relationship with a female. Of course some guys do have really close, supportive, and affectionate friendships, but it does appear to be a cultural trend that women are allowed to be more intimate with their other female friends than men are with their other male friends. 

It also seems to me like men are a little more likely to blame themselves for not finding/succeeding in obtaining a romantic partner, whereas while women Do feel that way too it seems to me that they're a little more likely to say it's just bad luck, or there just aren't any 'good' men around, rather than feeling like a failure themselves. But then being a girl myself I've certainly heard more from women on the matter than men anyways, so my information obviously isn't balanced.


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

Poor babies.


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## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

Metasentient said:


> Poor babies.


Nah, I'm pretty sure babies cope pretty well with being single.


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

I chuckled a bit.


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## doublejm1 (Sep 2, 2012)

Sporadic Aura said:


> Nah, I'm pretty sure babies cope pretty well with being single.


 lol


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## AriesLilith (Jan 6, 2013)

doublejm1 said:


> The post is essentially saying that men don't cope as well because they want sex more. Meanwhile, women can use hobbies and activities (cooking, kids, etc.) to get their minds off being single.


What kind of hobbies are these??! I can't imagine myself doing some cooking to cope with being single (not single thought).  These hobbies sounds so relationship oriented too.



As for the thread topic, which sounds like it's been deviated many posts ago lol... Meh, it depends on many factors, culture and personality. It seems that people who are not confident enough or have enough self-worth tend to be more dependent of someone else to get these; but then we all grow up being told that we all need to marry or have a meaningful relationship, which can make us feel unworthy if we can't achieve it like everyone else.

And why are we generalizing so much about guys here?? As if they are all just looking for sex in relationships. If so they don't need a relationship, sex buddies or other ways could be an option while remaining single anyways. Many women opt for these too.


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## Stelmaria (Sep 30, 2011)

doublejm1 said:


> What do you think?


[citation needed]

Talking about a few anecdotes on your blog doesn't provide much in the way of rigor or deep insight on the human condition.


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## doublejm1 (Sep 2, 2012)

Snowy Leopard said:


> [citation needed]
> 
> Talking about a few anecdotes on your blog doesn't provide much in the way of rigor or deep insight on the human condition.


Some of the posts are anecdotal while others use research to back up facts.


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## doublejm1 (Sep 2, 2012)

Snowy Leopard said:


> [citation needed]
> 
> Talking about a few anecdotes on your blog doesn't provide much in the way of rigor or deep insight on the human condition.


Some of the posts are purely anecdotal while others use research to back up facts.


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## Kyusaku (Mar 18, 2014)

Being single is the default state of people. Even if you are in a relationship, even if you are married, nothing is definitive in life. Both genders want to be in a relationship very dearly at my age (25-30) because people start getting married and those that are still single feel too self conscious I think. I had my share of relationships, some long, other less so, I don't feel like it's especially amazing, vital or necessary, having great friends is just as beneficial. The older I become the less interested I am in romance, and the less of a sexual drive I seem to have. I want people I can trust, people I can have pleasure sharing my life with, I don't want a lover, I don't want jealousy, I don't want efforts, compromises and all sorts of arguments. 

So, as a men, I don't have problems coping with celibacy, or lacking intimate relationships. It's not different that smoking, drinking, or eating in excess, at first you might think it's impossible to pass one day without smoking, then it becomes natural and you wonder how you could have ever been addicted to nicotine. Sex and romance are just the cherry on top of the friendship cake, in my eyes at least. You can live without the cherry, because there's still a delicious cake beneath it.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

Metasentient said:


> But here's what I don't understand... you _can_​ have sex by yourself. Why do you absolutely need a human being to do it? If I understand correctly, you can get the sensations on your own (or through toys I guess).


seriously? think of the best masturbation you've ever had. now think of the best sex you've ever had.

.....notice the difference?


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> seriously? think of the best masturbation you've ever had. now think of the best sex you've ever had.
> 
> .....notice the difference?


Never had sex, or wanted to.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

Metasentient said:


> Never had sex, or wanted to.


then of course you're not going to get it.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

TheProphetLaLa said:


> Look bruh. I've never been in a relationship my entire life so I understand. For all intents and purposes my stomach is growling. As a matter of fact, I might just take a bite out of your head.


as someone who shares your tastes for the twinky white boyz, that makes a lot of sense (I know I have to hunt like a friggin tiger to get laid, cuz there's just so few of them  )


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## TheProphetLaLa (Aug 18, 2014)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> as someone who shares your tastes for the twinky white boyz, that makes a lot of sense (I know I have to hunt like a friggin tiger to get laid, cuz there's just so few of them  )


Ha! For your information I like twinky asian boyz too. I'm not racist like you Mana. Get rekt.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

TheProphetLaLa said:


> Ha! For your information I like twinky asian boyz too. I'm not racist like you Mana. Get rekt.


then what are you waiting for? go out there and chow down on some golden egg rolls!


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> then of course you're not going to get it.


That still doesn't tell me anything.


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## Aelthwyn (Oct 27, 2010)

Kyusaku said:


> . . . So, as a men, I don't have problems coping with celibacy, or lacking intimate relationships. It's not different that smoking, drinking, or eating in excess, at first you might think it's impossible to pass one day without smoking, then it becomes natural and you wonder how you could have ever been addicted to nicotine. *Sex and romance are just the cherry on top of the friendship cake, in my eyes at least. You can live without the cherry, because there's still a delicious cake beneath it.*


Exactly. I think the 'meat' of a romantic relationship is a good friendship, that's what it's really about, the romance/sex is just extra garnish on top. Without the meat it wouldn't be worth all that much, but the meat without the sauce is still sustaining (and arguably no less tasty). 

Personally I feel like people/culture stir up people's desire for romance/sex unnecessarily, yes it goes both ways - people think of it a lot so it comes out in culture, but because it's everywhere in culture people think about it a lot more, and I suspect that if they weren't constantly 'fanning the flame' many people would find it wasn't quite as much of a priority after all. There's just so much of the message that you're life is lame without a romantic/sexual partner I think it makes people take for granted the other ways in which their life and other relationships are fulfilling.


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## bender477 (Aug 23, 2010)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> seriously? think of the best masturbation you've ever had. now think of the best sex you've ever had.
> 
> .....notice the difference?


yes, my vibe, unlike all men, knows how to make me come


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## Kyusaku (Mar 18, 2014)

Aelthwyn said:


> Exactly. I think the 'meat' of a romantic relationship is a good friendship, that's what it's really about, the romance/sex is just extra garnish on top. Without the meat it wouldn't be worth all that much, but the meat without the sauce is still sustaining (and arguably no less tasty).
> 
> Personally I feel like people/culture stir up people's desire for romance/sex unnecessarily, yes it goes both ways - people think of it a lot so it comes out in culture, but because it's everywhere in culture people think about it a lot more, and I suspect that if they weren't constantly 'fanning the flame' many people would find it wasn't quite as much of a priority after all. There's just so much of the message that you're life is lame without a romantic/sexual partner I think it makes people take for granted the other ways in which their life and other relationships are fulfilling.


Sexual promiscuity is cultural yes, especially when you live in big cities and get out during week ends, at parties or something else. Sex on its own gets dull rather fast which is why you have to change partners regularly to keep the excitement high. But just like everything that is nice and pleasurable, like tasty food, too much exposure makes you become numb to it. But in many occasions there's not much else to share with people than sexual intimacy. This is more male centric, but having regular sex is seen has being healthy, while if you aren't interested in it as a guy you are either gay, asexual, or you have psychological problems (or you're plain undesirable).

So a sizable number of people (mostly extroverts) expect to get laid on week ends. If you go to certain places (night clubs etc) it acts more like a marketplace where people become products, and the best products are "acquired" right off the bat, and as the evening takes its course less and less quality "products" are available, and the remaining people are so utterly wasted due to drug or alcohol consumption that anything goes. If you hang out with a certain crowd you hear awful tales of borderline rapes, or just weird stuff in general, and people think it's normal because culturally it is. Young healthy people party hard and stuff happens.

People make themselves miserable and it's saddening. That's why I prefer hanging out with good friends now, avoid drugs, alcohol and casual sex. Find pleasure in simple things, and grander stuff is left for rare occasions. A balanced life is deceptively simple to lead actually. Just like food, after you've spent time eating lettuce, a nice juicy burger becomes all the more pleasurable.


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## doublejm1 (Sep 2, 2012)

Metasentient said:


> Never had sex, or wanted to.


How come?


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

doublejm1 said:


> How come?


I'm either asexual or demisexual (which is technically "sexual" but very muted). Some people don't think these orientations exist, but they're both listed here on PerC's orientation dropdown.


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## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

Metasentient said:


> That still doesn't tell me anything.


Sex is not purely a physical experience, which is why its not comparable (for lots of people) to masturbation, especially sex within the context of a relationship. Theres a large emotional aspect to it as well as the enjoyment of sharing the experience with someone you really like.

If we are talking from a strictly physical stance, orgasms from sex are immensely more pleasurable than orgasms from masturbation.


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

Sporadic Aura said:


> Sex is not purely a physical experience, which is why its not comparable (for lots of people) to masturbation, especially sex within the context of a relationship. Theres a large emotional aspect to it as well as the enjoyment of sharing the experience with someone you really like.
> 
> If we are talking from a strictly physical stance, orgasm from sex are immensely more pleasurable than orgasms from masturbation.


jfc somebody explains it, thank you.


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## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

Metasentient said:


> jfc somebody explains it, thank you.


Sure.

Its interesting to me that you weren't able to look past your perspective as an asexual and make such connections earlier. Its not very complex.


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

Sporadic Aura said:


> Sure.
> 
> Its interesting to me that you weren't able to look past your perspective as an asexual and make such connections earlier. Its not very complex.


It honestly still doesn't make sense to me, but I didn't feel like asking for the technicalities of how that works.

And I thought there could have been some psychological/reward-based component to it -"Yeah, I'm finally getting laid!" for men that doesn't exist for women, but I could be wrong about that. You mentioned an emotional attachment which isn't the same (and in the context of this debate, would likely be true for both men and women). So since I'm only looking at the physical now, that just goes back to my first sentence.


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## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

Metasentient said:


> It honestly still doesn't make sense to me, but I didn't feel like asking for the technicalities of how that works.
> 
> And I thought there could have been some psychological/reward-based component to it -"Yeah, I'm finally getting laid!" for men that doesn't exist for women, but I could be wrong about that. You mentioned an emotional attachment which isn't the same (and in the context of this debate, would likely be true for both men and women). So since I'm only looking at the physical now, that just goes back to my first sentence.


Don't have time for a longer response right now, but I was talking from the perspective of everyone, not strictly men. I don't really see a reason the emotional aspect of sex would be different for men and women (regardless of what the stereotypes would be). I don't really agree with the premise of this thread, just was answering your direct question.


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## Juggernaut (Jul 9, 2012)

Just jumping in here, I came across this video just recently.





They brought up "Error Management Theory" and how men over perceive to increase their chances of reproduction while a woman under perceives to avoid an unwanted pregnancy without a mate. If that were so, could that be linked with a woman's ability to cope with being single better than men? A man instinctively feels the woman as a lost opportunity and a woman sees the loss of a man as an opportunity to seek out a potentially better mate?


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## doublejm1 (Sep 2, 2012)

Sporadic Aura said:


> Sex is not purely a physical experience, which is why its not comparable (for lots of people) to masturbation, especially sex within the context of a relationship. Theres a large emotional aspect to it as well as the enjoyment of sharing the experience with someone you really like.
> 
> If we are talking from a strictly physical stance, orgasms from sex are immensely more pleasurable than orgasms from masturbation.


I agree 100%. Orgasms from masturbation are better than nothing, but they get old.


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

Juggernaut said:


> Just jumping in here, I came across this video just recently.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Oh sheesh, the tone of that video...


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## The Capture of Time (Sep 24, 2015)

Have you noticed everyone is different? I have, and everyone should know it's a fact because, everyone deals with things differently, everyone has a high or small level of sensitivity, hobbies and being alone.


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## Schizoid (Jan 31, 2015)

Lol I have to agree with this.

As a woman, I can actually go single for years without feeling lonely. How did I managed to do this?
I channel all my attention and all my energy into my hobbies and career pursuits. When I am busy pursuing goals in life, I won't have much time to think about relationships.

I guess it also depends on what a person prioritizes in life. There are some people who prioritize relationships, while there are others who prioritizes their hobbies/passions/dreams in life.


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## Kytaari (Mar 14, 2011)

Schizoid said:


> Lol I have to agree with this.
> 
> As a woman, I can actually go single for years without feeling lonely. How did I managed to do this?
> I channel all my attention and all my energy into my hobbies and career pursuits. When I am busy pursuing goals in life, I won't have much time to think about relationships.
> ...


false. most women i have met in rl need emotional and physical intimacy, men just need physical intimacy. this is like the most untrue thread i've ever read in my life. 

1. sex is dirt cheap 2. platonic love is a lie 3. plenty of women seek casual sex and you just need average social skills to get a dose 4. people who have hobbies and don't put sex on a pedestal don't give a shit about sex anyway. there have been plenty of male scientists and artists who have had long lives and never had sex at all


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## Schizoid (Jan 31, 2015)

Kytaari said:


> false. most women i have met in rl need emotional and physical intimacy, men just need physical intimacy. this is like the most untrue thread i've ever read in my life.



Not all people are the same though. It still depends on what sort of person they are and what they value in life etc. 
For example, monks and nuns doesn't need physical or emotional intimacy. All they need is inner peace and getting in touch with their spiritual side. 

People often look outside for emotional and physical intimacy, but the truth is, intimacy can only be found inside us. Why do people yearn for physical and emotional intimacy? Because it makes them feel positive emotions, even though those positive emotions are only temporary. 
But have you ever wondered why people always end up saying, "I am married for many years, I have a loving husband/wife, a great sex life, I have everything in life, but why do I still feel so lonely?" 
Because they are seeking the wrong things to fill up their loneliness! Instead of looking at the inside, they chose to look outside for their happiness. They use sex to fill up their yearnings for physical intimacy, and they use other humans to fill up their yearnings for emotional intimacy. But there is actually no difference between emotional and physical intimacy, they coexist together.
It's in our soul, it's in our subconscious and we just have to dig deep within us to find it. And once we managed to find it, we will no longer feel lonely anymore. Once a person learned how to approach everything from a spiritual perspective rather than a 3rd dimensional perspective, you will start to realize that not everybody requires physical/emotional intimacy to be happy in life. And that there are indeed some people in this world who are able to remain single and happy at the same time.


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## Swede (Apr 2, 2013)

doublejm1 said:


> I agree 100%. Orgasms from masturbation are better than nothing, but they get old.


I don't know... I use masturbation for a completely different reason than sex with a partner.

To me, the former is simple and often rather practical. It can be used as a stress reliever, a way to get rid of excess energy, a way to fall asleep more quickly at night, a way to escape reality for a short period of time.
It is also easier in many ways - like most things are when only one person is involved in decision making, schedule, etc.
For a straight woman, masturbation is also significantly less messy (literally speaking), which can be a huge bonus.

I have always used masturbation, no matter what dating status I have had.


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## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

Hmm, maybe my statement was too generalized and it depends on the individual. If we're just isolating the orgasms alone (not looking at other differences between masturabtion and sex) my orgasms for sex are more intense and pleasurable. Not to say orgasms from masturbation are not pleasurable, just that there is a clear difference to me between the two.

I also masturbate even when I'm in a relationship. It is a stress reliever and a release of energy.


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## SuperDevastation (Jun 7, 2010)

From what I've heard women are more distraught after being dumped then men.


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## gmaslin (Feb 28, 2015)

There is nothing more depressing to a woman who has known the proper service from a man than masturbation. I don't like diddling at all, there are too many times when I start and can't even finish. I can't speak for everyone, man or woman but for me, life without a real flesh and blood man sucks wet fart.


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## Swede (Apr 2, 2013)

SuperDevastation said:


> From what I've heard women are more distraught after being dumped then men.


IDK, I think that it depends on how it depends on so many factors. The personality of the person getting dumped, the relationship, the way the break-up was done, etc.

I'd also take into account that women and men are 'allowed' to express sorrow in different ways. Maybe many men just hide the fact that they are distraught? 
Btw, that's how most INTJs would act, independent of gender. Stoicism above all. Hold your head high. Don't let them see you crying. Bury the hurt. Survive.


I must also say that I have only been dumped once and that was by far the easiest breakup I've ever gone through. The lack of power in the situation was very calming in a way. Being the one who initiates the breakup is so much harder; you become the 'bad guy', the one who has to take responsibility and be strong for both, you have to stand your ground and face the other party's reaction, etc. 

I think that a lot of people would rather be dumped than dump, which is also why (IMO) some people prefer to drive their partner to a point where the partner essentially have no choice but to break up. Basically passive-aggressively push boundaries. I've been in this type of relationship more times than I would have preferred.


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

Jeez... "proper service".


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## Fumetsu (Oct 7, 2015)

All the men I know are total nerds. In their case it's because they cannot take care of themselves and need a mommy.


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## gmaslin (Feb 28, 2015)

Metasentient said:


> Jeez... "proper service"


I guess that does sound crueler than it was meant. More specifically, a man who performs coitus in a spirited and purposeful manner is too often under appreciated. Most of you women will come to know this unfortunate truth as your age reaches mine.



Fumetsu said:


> All the men I know are total nerds. In their case it's because they cannot take care of themselves and need a mommy.


Alot of this is the result of social engineering and the feminist movement. We women are killing the very testosterone we crave in our men with all our gender equality nonsense. It is so much more natural for a woman to trust in and be validated by her man than the other way around. Yes, it sucks to know that your man might want to fuck your best friend too but many will tell you this is less worse than having a man who always needs coaxing to fuck you. I've had both kinds of relationships and hands down, give me the man who presents his ready pecker over the man who needs some sort of preamble before the act. A woman has a unique power of choice but many will shy away from those that are hard to handle. Those men are typically not going to hang around women too long without some conclusion. You may consider that the kind of man you seem to want is probably in your purview but you're too busy with your nice and manageable nerdy boys to notice them.


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

gmaslin said:


> I guess that does sound crueler than it was meant. More specifically, a man who performs coitus in a spirited and purposeful manner is too often under appreciated. Most of you women will come to know this unfortunate truth as your age reaches mine.


Nah, I didn't think it sounded like a negative at all; I would describe it as a powerful, charged statement. "Enticing" or "tempting" might also be fitting terms. But I liked it.


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## Fumetsu (Oct 7, 2015)

What the fucking hell are you talking about?!


They aren't _my _nerdy boys. " I have my own _man_, thank you.

and..no, I don't have to explain anything to you why don't you do some damned research before you com in here flapping your mouth about shit you know nothing about.


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## Toru Okada (May 10, 2011)

swordsman of mana said:


> seriously? Think of the best masturbation you've ever had. Now think of the best sex you've ever had.
> 
> .....notice the difference?


#teamfap


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## Psychophant (Nov 29, 2013)

Huh, hadn't seen this in a while.. always a joy to read.


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## gmaslin (Feb 28, 2015)

Fumetsu said:


> I have my own man, thank you.


Judging from the response I just got from you, probably not for long. I guess _your man_ doesn't fall into the category of _all the men I know_. Am I the only person who sees a problem with that? An artful woman can be crass and still be charming. Read my posts and get a lesson.



Metasentient said:


> "Enticing" or "tempting" might also be fitting terms. But I liked it.


Are you flirting with me? Naughty, naughty boy.


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## Fumetsu (Oct 7, 2015)

We've been together for five years. 

You're assumptions are based on nothing.

I don't know why you are even attacking me in the first place. I've done nothing to provoke you. Take your. misplaced aggression some place more deserving.


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## He's a Superhero! (May 1, 2013)

"Women cope better at being single than men"? Seems like a blanket rule, and I don't generally like blanket rules.

What I would say is the reality: Some women would cope better than other women (of course), and some men better than other men...Some women cope better than most men, and some men cope better than most women. Sure tho, the percentage could in fact be in favor of more women being more likely to cope better than men, but it doesn't take into account every person.


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## gmaslin (Feb 28, 2015)

@Fumetsu
You don't sound like you're in a normal state of mind. When you come to your proper senses, review your post and my reply. Then reconsider which post started the aggression. My reply was perfectly responsive and logical given the context of your post. You claimed "all the men I know are total nerds" so how was I to assume you were married from that? Do you see your fault now? By the way:



Fumetsu said:


> We've been together for five years.


Your countdown has started, LOL


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