# Anal Sex



## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

changos said:


> Well the comparison between both sensations, vaginal vs anal. Vaginal sex wins in my case, I like it better. I don't really know how to explain it but I get better physical sensations. Emotionally and psychologically it was as exciting as the first time vaginal sex (curiosity, exploring, etc). I'll stay with the V


I relate to this. There's just a "fits like a glove" feeling about vaginal sex that seems missing from anal.


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## Hruberen (Jan 2, 2012)

I'd consider it if the girl asked for it, and I admit that I am a bit curious, but I don't think i'd ever ask for it. There are other things i'd rather do.


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## niffer (Dec 28, 2011)

tanstaafl28 said:


> I relate to this. There's just a "fits like a glove" feeling about vaginal sex that seems missing from anal.


This is interesting, because I've heard from some that it feels similar to the vagina, but smaller. To me that sounds more like a "fits like a glove" feeling.

I'd be interested in hearing the opinions of men who think that anal feels better than vaginal.


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## All in Twilight (Oct 12, 2012)

Most guys just wanna do anal so they can add you and that to their trophy list. Pathetic really.

I'm not up for it but I'm not up for anyone or anything. Call me arrogant but in this case I'm the trophy.


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## niffer (Dec 28, 2011)

All in Twilight said:


> Most guys just wanna do anal so they can add you and that to their trophy list. Pathetic really.
> 
> I'm not up for it but I'm not up for anyone or anything. Call me arrogant but in this case I'm the trophy.


Is this you inviting me to anal you? :crazy:

Brb while I search for my 15" strap on...


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

when I hadn't done it, I wanted to try it.
I tried it a few times.

Not a huge interest to do it again, but some women really like it, and i'd do it again for them.


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## Sun Lips (Jan 28, 2013)

Tried it a total of three times. One of those times was "successful" and actually somewhat enjoyable for me. I was able to have a really different type of orgasm from it. The other two times were disastrous. I don't even think I can give full disclosure there, LOL. In my experience, there is a bit of.. messy cleanup involved in anal sex. And you have to use SO much lube, which I personally dislike even for vaginal sex.

My boyfriend says he didn't care for it much, either. He didn't seem to think it felt too different from my vagina, and he was apparently turned off by me crying and saying "ow" during sex. 

For me, there was just too much to it. You have to get all prepared, get lube everywhere, it's messy, it hurts. Sex is best when it just happens organically, in my opinion. I'm sure it can be really enjoyable for people that want to do it. But I was never really that interested and I think my boyfriend and I both just wanted to be able to say we had done it. We've done it. We'll probably never do it again and I'm fine with that.


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## niffer (Dec 28, 2011)

SpiritedAstray said:


> Tried it a total of three times. One of those times was "successful" and actually somewhat enjoyable for me. I was able to have a really different type of orgasm from it. The other two times were disastrous. I don't even think I can give full disclosure there, LOL. In my experience, there is a bit of.. messy cleanup involved in anal sex. And you have to use SO much lube, which I personally dislike even for vaginal sex.
> 
> My boyfriend says he didn't care for it much, either. He didn't seem to think it felt too different from my vagina, and he was apparently turned off by me crying and saying "ow" during sex.
> 
> For me, there was just too much to it. You have to get all prepared, get lube everywhere, it's messy, it hurts. Sex is best when it just happens organically, in my opinion. I'm sure it can be really enjoyable for people that want to do it. But I was never really that interested and I think my boyfriend and I both just wanted to be able to say we had done it. We've done it. We'll probably never do it again and I'm fine with that.


I guess this is a bit personal, but random question: Do you normally orgasm during regular sex with your boyfriend?


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## KSKatze (Nov 15, 2012)

It seems to me that the experience you had the first time you did it really forms your opinion. If you go slowly, use lots of lube and trust the person (very important otherwise if it goes wrong it feels rape-y) it can be amazing.. the sensation rips through your whole body and mind- think it's the one time i am not thinking about something else. However I only tend to do anal if i've been with the person at least a few months as i feel self conscious otherwise.

Also I have an opinion that most guys should try being penetrated anally at least once (either by another guy or a girl with strap-on) as the sensation of being a receiver to sex is quite different to being the giver. Plus if you're straight it opens up a whole new world of pleasure with your girlfriend. :happy:


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## carlaviii (Jul 25, 2012)

My first attempt at anal was not very enjoyable... but with 20/20 hindsight, given the relationship that's not a surprise. Since then, I've found it's great with the right guy. Lube and mess haven't been a problem for me. 

I agree that the orgasm's got a slightly different "flavor" -- that's what I like about it.


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## All in Twilight (Oct 12, 2012)

niffer said:


> Is this you inviting me to anal you? :crazy:
> 
> Brb while I search for my 15" strap on...


Tough talk for such a little girl. I saw you! xD

Ok, I maybe axed for it perhaps.


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## Sun Lips (Jan 28, 2013)

niffer said:


> I guess this is a bit personal, but random question: Do you normally orgasm during regular sex with your boyfriend?


Yes.  Good stuff.


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## Nekomata (May 26, 2012)

I've had it done to me a few times. It was all horrible. Of course it was only with my boyfriend, but he didn't usually give me much choice in it, sometimes I've even ended up crying because it was so painful. A lot of the time it was done with lube but still, it was such a painful, uncomfortable and such an unenjoyable experience... I'll probably loathe it for as long as I live, not that I was ever wanting to do it from the start anyway xD


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

Nekomata said:


> I've had it done to me a few times. It was all horrible. Of course it was only with my boyfriend, but he didn't usually give me much choice in it, sometimes I've even ended up crying because it was so painful. A lot of the time it was done with lube but still, it was such a painful, uncomfortable and such an unenjoyable experience... I'll probably loathe it for as long as I live, not that I was ever wanting to do it from the start anyway xD


that fair lady is called rape. if your ex boyfriend lives anywhere near boise idaho, drop me a line and i'll go teach him some manners.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Nekomata said:


> I've had it done to me a few times. It was all horrible. Of course it was only with my boyfriend, but he didn't usually give me much choice in it, sometimes I've even ended up crying because it was so painful. A lot of the time it was done with lube but still, it was such a painful, uncomfortable and such an unenjoyable experience... I'll probably loathe it for as long as I live, not that I was ever wanting to do it from the start anyway xD


That's fracking WRONG. I hope that's why the jaggoff is your ex!


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## All in Twilight (Oct 12, 2012)

Nekomata said:


> I've had it done to me a few times. It was all horrible. Of course it was only with my boyfriend, but he didn't usually give me much choice in it, sometimes I've even ended up crying because it was so painful. A lot of the time it was done with lube but still, it was such a painful, uncomfortable and such an unenjoyable experience... I'll probably loathe it for as long as I live, not that I was ever wanting to do it from the start anyway xD


Of course not cool but the way you talk about it gives me a reason not to believe your story. It's like you don't really care about his immoral and rather crude behavior, you're extremely open and you don't seem too much bothered by it even though you're victimizing yourself. Are you just saying this to scare the OP?


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## Borrowed Lunacy (Sep 30, 2011)

All in Twilight said:


> Of course not cool but the way you talk about it gives me a reason not to believe your story. It's like you don't really care about his immoral and rather crude behavior, you're extremely open and you don't seem too much bothered by it even though you're victimizing yourself. Are you just saying this to scare the OP?


Are you sure you want to make that call? Rape is rape, and I'll trust Nekomata's judgment that it hurts, and she felt pressured into doing something that she really wanted to do. There's no need to cross examine people in a forum.


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## All in Twilight (Oct 12, 2012)

Borrowed Lunacy said:


> Are you sure you want to make that call? Rape is rape, and I'll trust Nekomata's judgment that it hurts, and she felt pressured into doing something that she really wanted to do. There's no need to cross examine people in a forum.


Yes, I call and I raise you with 200. I think there is something not right with her story. 

And if her story was true, then I wouldn't want to call it rape since she didn't mention that - it happened several times (why didn't she go to the police if it was rape after the first time?) I would at most call it an abuse of the emotional that ended up in a physical act that was uncool; abuse of power but not strong enough to call it rape. Maybe she didn't dare to say no even though it hurt just to please him because she loved him? Things aren't always that black and white (and this coming from a type 1)


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## Borrowed Lunacy (Sep 30, 2011)

All in Twilight said:


> Yes, I call and I raise you with 200. I think there is something not right with her story.
> 
> And if her story was true, then I wouldn't want to call it rape since she didn't mention that - it happened several times (why didn't she go to the police if it was rape after the first time?) I would at most call it an abuse of the emotional that ended up in a physical act that was uncool; abuse of power but not strong enough to call it rape. Maybe she didn't dare to say no even though it hurt just to please him because she loved him? Things aren't always that black and white (and this coming from a type 1)


I only mentioned rape because the context I have placed on the subject is that a very high number of rapes goes unreported. Often, people feel like they can't say no in a relationship, sometimes they hear horror stories of Police action, and there's a view in society that victims shouldn't have done certain things. God help you if you take your rape to court: you'll be made to relive the events over and over, you'll have to deal with threats from families, accusations from your own family, and you'll be made to feel very alone.
Maybe she could have communicated more, but many times in dysfunctional relationships there is a power imbalance, and if you voice a concern, you feel like it opens you up to even more abuse. We don't know the context of this young lady, but I see a need in general to give people the benefit of the doubt.

The boys jailed for rape recently made me evaluate what I can do in general to help someone if it came up, and that is to be more supportive than ever of the person involved. You could be right, but like I said, pointed questions I feel are more suited to general arguments on the subject, or belong in a court. I don't think it fits in a forum where really everyone is anoymous and we can't get the full context of what happened.


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## All in Twilight (Oct 12, 2012)

Borrowed Lunacy said:


> I only mentioned rape because the context I have placed on the subject is that a very high number of rapes goes unreported. Often, people feel like they can't say no in a relationship, sometimes they hear horror stories of Police action, and there's a view in society that victims shouldn't have done certain things. God help you if you take your rape to court: you'll be made to relive the events over and over, you'll have to deal with threats from families, accusations from your own family, and you'll be made to feel very alone.
> Maybe she could have communicated more, but many times in dysfunctional relationships there is a power imbalance, and if you voice a concern, you feel like it opens you up to even more abuse. We don't know the context of this young lady, but I see a need in general to give people the benefit of the doubt.
> 
> The boys jailed for rape recently made me evaluate what I can do in general to help someone if it came up, and that is to be more supportive than ever of the person involved. You could be right, but like I said, pointed questions I feel are more suited to general arguments on the subject, or belong in a court. I don't think it fits in a forum where really everyone is anoymous and we can't get the full context of what happened.


I absolutely agree with the above. And I am very much against an intrusion of personal space/boundaries - emotional space or physical boundaries, don't get me wrong here. But I just feel that there is something is not right with her story. The tone and vibe is not ok and I have proven to be very good at sniffing things like thit out.


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

All in Twilight said:


> Yes, I call and I raise you with 200. I think there is something not right with her story.
> 
> And if her story was true, then I wouldn't want to call it rape since she didn't mention that - it happened several times (why didn't she go to the police if it was rape after the first time?) I would at most call it an abuse of the emotional that ended up in a physical act that was uncool; abuse of power but not strong enough to call it rape. Maybe she didn't dare to say no even though it hurt just to please him because she loved him? Things aren't always that black and white (and this coming from a type 1)


Well, again--she never called it rape.

Even if she did have anal sex with him for other pressures (other than that she actually wanted it)--which is basically what she said (disregarding parentheses, which aren't grammatically correct).

Oh yeah--she still didn't call it rape herself, and it doesn't mean it didn't hurt her a lot (maybe as much as rape hurts some people).

I know, and this is TMI, that I won't have anal sex because one of the most painful experiences I've had (emotionally) was during anal sex.

I'm not going to identify it as rape--but it was painful and humiliating (and honestly, I know that rape victims sometimes won't identify the act as rape for years). I think it is nice to hear people acknowledge Nekomata's pain because it's not always easy to vent it into the open, regardless of how it's classified.

What is your issue with this though? I agree that there is something I don't understand about her story--but there are still lots of possibilities for why that is. It is true that it might not be classified as rape--though personally, I would still classify his actions as douchebaggery. I don't see why the line between douchebaggery and rape has to be so cleanly cut.

Edit: and i also appreciate that you don't feel all of her story smells right.


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## niffer (Dec 28, 2011)

All in Twilight said:


> Yes, I call and I raise you with 200. I think there is something not right with her story.
> 
> And if her story was true, then I wouldn't want to call it rape since she didn't mention that - it happened several times (why didn't she go to the police if it was rape after the first time?) I would at most call it an abuse of the emotional that ended up in a physical act that was uncool; abuse of power but not strong enough to call it rape. Maybe she didn't dare to say no even though it hurt just to please him because she loved him? Things aren't always that black and white (and this coming from a type 1)


She didn't call it rape herself at all. That was a statement made by other posters after her. I don't see anything wrong with the post she made.

You're right, it would be extreme to go to the police just for someone giving uncomfortable anal sex, especially if it wasn't bad enough to want to say no. Perhaps it would be considered rape because things aren't black and white as you said, but that would be a call for her to make, not us, because we don't know what her exact situation is like.

Anyway, this is off topic. @Nekomata Thank you for contributing... if you are still together with this guy, I hope you get help if he is doing things that make you uncomfortable.


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## All in Twilight (Oct 12, 2012)

meltedsorbet said:


> Well, again--she never called it rape.
> 
> Even if she did have anal sex with him for other pressures (other than that she actually wanted it)--which is basically what she said (disregarding parentheses, which aren't grammatically correct).
> 
> ...


You're trying to tell me something but everything you mentioned is something I already discussed and I already drew those lines you mentioned but that was not what I am after. Just because you didn't read those lines, doesn't mean I think about it in a different way than you do. Just ask questions instead of making indirect assumptions. But if something nasty happened, then I don't want to label it anyway. I can't feel what she felt.


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

All in Twilight said:


> You're trying to tell me something but everything you mentioned is something I already discussed and I already drew those lines you mentioned but that was not what I am after. Just because you didn't read those lines, doesn't mean I think about it in a different way than you do. Just ask questions instead of making indirect assumptions.


I am only assuming that you felt there was something off about her post.

I don't have an issue with that. 

BUT I believe in being more flexible when it comes to stories like this. If they are true, then the person might really need to heal from them. If they aren't, then what does it matter to you? On the internet I always assume that someone will think I am lying. It's fine--but maybe instead of following your own assumptions, you can follow your advice of asking questions rather than making direct assumptions.

Also, I don't think there is anything wrong with the people calling it rape. I think it is right to denounce the use of anal sex in the way she described, whether or not it is called rape. I don't think people are saying that anal sex is wrong in itself, but that it is wrong to have sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex.


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## chimeric (Oct 15, 2011)

Anal sex should be approached, every single time, with the care that one would have while taking someone's vaginal virginity. Slow, caring, checking in repeatedly, lots of preparation, etc. Maybe a massage beforehand. Lots of cuddling afterwards and kisses during. It's too bad that anal is seen as taboo and rough and porny, because that means people approach it in a way that is damaging. One does not slam into an anus and pound away. Just...no. no. no. It's physically sensitive and emotionally vulnerable.


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

Nekomata said:


> I've had it done to me a few times.
> but he didn't usually give me much choice in it,
> not that I was ever wanting to do it from the start anyway xD


Rape. definition.
the unlawful compelling of a person through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse. 
to force to have sexual intercourse. 

She did not call it rape. I did. 
And my offer stands. 

What this jerk did is a very very bad thing. And any defense of it is ignorant. And questioning the statements the lady made are indefensible.

Consensual sex is one thing. Non consensual sex is called rape.

No means No. 

Black. White.


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## Nekomata (May 26, 2012)

All in Twilight said:


> Of course not cool but the way you talk about it gives me a reason not to believe your story. It's like you don't really care about his immoral and rather crude behavior, you're extremely open and you don't seem too much bothered by it even though you're victimizing yourself. Are you just saying this to scare the OP?


His moral standards are rather messed up. Even during normal sex and I say that it's rape, he just replies "so long as it doesn't hurt you it's not rape." ......Well anyway, he doesn't listen to the word 'no'. He never stops until he gets the job done. Hell, I'm pretty sure if I called the police on him again he would be sent to prison this time and I don't especially want to condemn him. Either way, I guess I just don't care that much anymore... but as this thread is about anal, I know for sure that it's not going to happen again otherwise I wont be the one getting injured.

And yeah, I didn't really call it rape, he always resorted to bribery to get this end of sex done. Bad, I know, but... *sigh* it's a complicated situation I guess. *rambles on* lol.


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## All in Twilight (Oct 12, 2012)

Nekomata said:


> His moral standards are rather messed up. Even during normal sex and I say that it's rape, he just replies "so long as it doesn't hurt you it's not rape." ......Well anyway, he doesn't listen to the word 'no'. He never stops until he gets the job done. Hell, I'm pretty sure if I called the police on him again he would be sent to prison this time and I don't especially want to condemn him. Either way, I guess I just don't care that much anymore... but as this thread is about anal, I know for sure that it's not going to happen again otherwise I wont be the one getting injured.
> 
> And yeah, I didn't really call it rape, he always resorted to bribery to get this end of sex done. Bad, I know, but... *sigh* it's a complicated situation I guess. *rambles on* lol.


I see you're using the present so does this mean you two are still together(?) I can tell you this and that but I am sure you already know these things. But this is not normal and I don't think you should take all this for granted. Why are you still with him? And why is it so complicated? There is no judgment from my side since I don't think you'd benefit from that right now. But I'd like to see you care though.


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## Nekomata (May 26, 2012)

All in Twilight said:


> I see you're using the present so does this mean you two are still together(?) I can tell you this and that but I am sure you already know these things. But this is not normal and I don't think you should take all this for granted. Why are you still with him? And why is it so complicated? There is no judgment from my side since I don't think you'd benefit from that right now. But I'd like to see you care though.


I do care, and each time it happens I told him it makes me hate and resent him more and more and that I hope he's willing to live with that. I've tried to break up with him over that and other reasons but he'd have none of that. Generally, I hate any kinds of sexual contact now and he thinks the problem is mostly on my end. But meh, we're going off topic now XDDDD

Either way, I'm sure anal sex can be pleasant or less so depending on the person. One person's experiences may be horrible, other people's may not be, or some people may not be willing to try it at all (I certainly wasn't, the mere idea of something going up there was... no xD). So yeah, wasn't really trying to scare the OP, they'd probably have a better time at it anyway x__x but who am I to say really.


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

@Nekomata, your guy is a self centered, piece of crap predator. 

The sooner you can get him out of your life, the sooner you can find you and realize what a bright, caring, loving person you are, and the sooner you can learn to demand a quality guy who can appreciate you.

It is complicated, but it really is not. You have friends. He is a Piece of Crap. 

I wish you the best, and I wish I could help more. He is not "normal".


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## SA1988 (May 25, 2012)

Haha. 'Curious about anal' thread becomes 'what is/isn't anal rape' thread.

Anal sex is glorified and made utopian by porn. The reality is kind of like, "Right ok there's the hole.. hmm. Why is it less dramatic and exciting to look at in real life? Might there be poo on the inside? Ok I've touched it. Should I smell my finger to get an idea of what the sex will be like?"


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

Nekomata said:


> His moral standards are rather messed up. Even during normal sex and I say that it's rape, he just replies "so long as it doesn't hurt you it's not rape." ......Well anyway, he doesn't listen to the word 'no'. He never stops until he gets the job done. Hell, I'm pretty sure if I called the police on him again he would be sent to prison this time and I don't especially want to condemn him. Either way, I guess I just don't care that much anymore... but as this thread is about anal, I know for sure that it's not going to happen again otherwise I wont be the one getting injured.
> 
> And yeah, I didn't really call it rape, he always resorted to bribery to get this end of sex done. Bad, I know, but... *sigh* it's a complicated situation I guess. *rambles on* lol.


Well I agree that that is clearly rape. 

It does sound like a complicated situation.

I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for years and sex became complicated.

Your story reminded me of one of my own least favorite experiences. My ex is from another country, and I went with him to visit his family. 

One night we began talking about my sexual history (just him and I--alone). Even though it wasn't a secret, he acted like I had kept the amount of sexual partners I've had from him (more than five, less than ten). 

(now this is part of backstory, but most of my sexual partners were from within two years after I lost my virginity to a date rape. As an adult, I've realized that part of the reason I was open to having one night stands at that time was because I was trying to re-claim my agency, and to deny that I had lost my agency when I lost my virginity to the rape). 

But anyway, so it's a sensitive subject for me. And he began slut shaming me (even though I am completely open and honest about my sexual history--or was, now I'm a bit more guarded.) He called me disgusting and he treated me like I was a liar, tricking him into believing I was some "pure" person, when I am not.

I began crying, and he stonewalled me. I didn't have anywhere to stay other than his parent's house, and I didn't speak the language there--I felt really alone. So we walked back to his parents house.

When we went to bed, he was still not talking to me and I was still crying. Then he laid on top of me and had sex with me. He told me that because I had tried it before (once), with another man, that he also deserved to have it (that it was owed to him). I was relieved that he was no longer angry at me, but the event still remains to be one of the most emotionally painful things I can remember.

Eventually I left him because I realized he was abusive. I am happier being alone than in an abusive relationship--it's amazing what being in any kind of abusive relationship will do to your psychology, your sense of identity and self. Your boyfriend is abusive because rape is abuse. In fact, I think it's some of the worst kind. 

You are probably in a sort of shell shock state because of the traumatic nature of rape. But if you even want to get out of the relationship, don't hesitate to ask for help from a local domestic violence organization because rape is domestic violence.


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

Melted, thank you very much for sharing that incredibly powerful experience. 

This is an MBTI site. We all come with different strengths. I am the kind of person if I see something like this, I am equipped to go bury the dude doing it, but I have very little I feel I can do for the victim. I can acknowledge the victim, I can encourage the victim this is not normal, but I am scared to do much more for fear of making the victim's reality worse.

I would ask if you and some other women reading this who have similar experiences perhaps could private message the lady and offer to talk things over with her. 

Finding you are not alone and this is not normal is maybe the first step towards getting help. 

Again, I am trying to help. Let me know if I am not, or what I can do to help more.

thank you.


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## All in Twilight (Oct 12, 2012)

Nekomata said:


> I do care, and each time it happens I told him it makes me hate and resent him more and more and that I hope he's willing to live with that. I've tried to break up with him over that and other reasons but he'd have none of that. Generally, I hate any kinds of sexual contact now and he thinks the problem is mostly on my end. But meh, we're going off topic now XDDDD
> 
> Either way, I'm sure anal sex can be pleasant or less so depending on the person. One person's experiences may be horrible, other people's may not be, or some people may not be willing to try it at all (I certainly wasn't, the mere idea of something going up there was... no xD). So yeah, wasn't really trying to scare the OP, they'd probably have a better time at it anyway x__x but who am I to say really.


Off topic or not, I am sure niffer doesn't really care about that. She'll understand.

Who are you to say? That is a good question. If you want, you can pm me and I can listen and hopefully help you out a bit. I want you to be in the position to tell me who is to say and I think you want that to. I think there is more going on than you have let us know so far. I can read between the lines.


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## mimesis (Apr 10, 2012)

SA1988 said:


> Haha. 'Curious about anal' thread becomes 'what is/isn't anal rape' thread.
> 
> Anal sex is glorified and made utopian by porn. The reality is kind of like, "Right ok there's the hole.. hmm. Why is it less dramatic and exciting to look at in real life? Might there be poo on the inside? Ok I've touched it. Should I smell my finger to get an idea of what the sex will be like?"


If you analyse it the way you do, I wonder if you can have any sex at all, since there's all kinds of bodily fluids involved with anything you do, starting with french kissing. 

My reality is clearly different from yours. I don't think it has much to do with porn. Sure, when people see (or hear) things it could make someone curious. But do you copy anything you see (or hear)? I'd say people had anal sex, way before there was even anything such as porn. There's even prehistoric evidence for that, unless you say that is porn too, haha. There have been many reasons to have anal sex, for instance, birth control and taboos on sex (virginity). 

I know quite a few women who actually like it, and want it. If you had any interest in the erogenous zones of your (future) partner you could at least have known that the anus is one of them, and arguably the most intimate. A woman once described it to me, as the 'ultimate surrender'. 

As with *any *erogenous zone, if you touch it the wrong way, it can be itchy, highly unpleasant or even painful. You need to be receptive to begin with. If your partner doesn't understand this, or has no interest in this and only cares about one's own pleasure, you're with the wrong person.


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## ilphithra (Jun 22, 2010)

surgery said:


> My experiences with anal have all been terrible  The guys who have tried it with me have basically just shoved it in all at once with no lube (just crappy lotion) and almost no prior stimulation (like just one finger for like less than a minute). It burned when they RAMMED it in all the way, all at once even though I clearly asked them to go slowly; it kind of like feeling you had a chili pepper explode inside you. I kind of felt like I was being raped, to be honest  The guys in porn make anal look so easy, but my experiences have really turned me off to the idea of intercourse. I will probably not attempt it again unless I'm totally in love with the guy and trust him to go slowly. In fact, it will probably take several attempts with fingers and toys over a long period of time before I feel ready again.
> 
> That being said, I have EVEN MORE compassion for women who give birth. I mean if a 6 inch penis hurts that much, I caaaaannoooot even begin to imagine what it's like to have a 8+ pound baby fall out of your vagina. Oh, Lord.


Hmm... porn makes it look easy because those women are so used up that they could cram a whole plane inside their ass. Honestly, don't look into porn to learn how sex should be... you're in for bad rides.

That being said; I hate anal as in, receiving anything inside me in that particular place _(I have very good reasons for it...)_ but if my SO asks for it, I don't have a problem doing it to her. 
Takes time to get the anal opening relaxed though and even then, lots of lub need to come into play and going slow. It's not just a "whambamthankyoumam" thing... not unless the moron doing that wants his/her SO to bleed or worse...


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## niffer (Dec 28, 2011)

mimesis said:


> If you *analyse* it the way you do


:crazy:


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## SA1988 (May 25, 2012)

mimesis said:


> If you analyse it the way you do, I wonder if you can have any sex at all, since there's all kinds of bodily fluids involved with anything you do, starting with french kissing.
> 
> My reality is clearly different from yours. I don't think it has much to do with porn. Sure, when people see (or hear) things it could make someone curious. But do you copy anything you see (or hear)? I'd say people had anal sex, way before there was even anything such as porn. There's even prehistoric evidence for that, unless you say that is porn too, haha. There have been many reasons to have anal sex, for instance, birth control and taboos on sex (virginity).
> 
> ...


If it makes you feel any better, the thought of giving anal sex to a girl is a gigantic turn on for me. Because it's considered a little taboo. I'm just the king of over-analysis, that's all.


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## mimesis (Apr 10, 2012)

SA1988 said:


> If it makes you feel any better, the thought of giving anal sex to a girl is a gigantic turn on for me. Because it's considered a little taboo. I'm just the king of over-analysis, that's all.


Haha, I see. But I didn't say it is a huge turn on for me. I don't particularly favor it. Well, unless she is very explicit in expressing how much she wants it, in which case I am happy to oblige.


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## wiarumas (Aug 27, 2010)

One of the misunderstandings about anal sex is that you perform it just like vaginal sex. Most likely the fault of porn. Not the case at all from my experience. I've had anal with multiple women and have yet to thrust consistently or with a full stroke. Because of this, anal sex is mostly for the pleasure of a woman from my experience (if done right, the woman will definitely enjoy it while you kinda just go in slow motion... Which is why I think vaginal is preferable). 

Start with rubbing (during foreplay or sex) you can just end there if you or your partner wants), maybe slowly add a finger possibly in conjunction with other things going on (like oral or sex - I've had positive reactions from women during or near orgasm... Also, rarely go deeper than an inch or so. The entrance is the most sensitive part and less likely to cause discomfort), then maybe do some anal someday (typically only a couple inches of insertion while doing some clit or vaginal play). I've literally had anal which involved me leaving my half my dick in her while she had multiple orgasms with a vibrator on her clit. It can be fun for the guy too even if you can't thrust - a woman's ass does all kinda of crazy things during orgasm.

Use lube, wear a condom, go slow, don't cross contaminate.

Also, for any women in here with negative experiences : don't have sex with a man dry. For both vaginal or anal. Tell him to use lube, give more foreplay, etc... if he insists, tell him to go fuck himself.


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## LilyPhem (Mar 27, 2013)

I was raped that way for two years by a sex addict.

Never, ever again.

Ever.

I'm honestly sure it's good for other people, I don't doubt that.


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## isi1000 (Mar 31, 2013)

I really love my wife for everything she has done for me and in private, I always call mistress.
No, my wife took me and kept pristine thanks to the permanent chaseté.
Do not think that I am unhappy, on the contrary, I like it very much and I thank to all my life have kept me like that.


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## FlightsOfFancy (Dec 30, 2012)

isi1000 said:


> I really love my wife for everything she has done for me and in private, I always call mistress.
> No, my wife took me and kept pristine thanks to the permanent chaseté.
> Do not think that I am unhappy, on the contrary, I like it very much and I thank to all my life have kept me like that.


the fuck does this have to do with anal sex? at least troll properly.


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## Up and Away (Mar 5, 2011)

Lol you cant like... do it without... like.. what im trying to say is... nevermind.


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

LilyPhem said:


> I was raped that way for two years by a sex addict.
> 
> .


how far away is he from boise idaho? I have a short rope.


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## LilyPhem (Mar 27, 2013)

drmiller100 said:


> how far away is he from boise idaho? I have a short rope.



Hahahaha too far away dammit!! He was one of those partners that you need a restraining order to get rid of.

I hope my posting that didn't bring everyone down, I didn't mean it to. Wasn't exactly sure why I wrote the post anyways, its not something I tell people full stop.


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

LilyPhem said:


> Hahahaha too far away dammit!! He was one of those partners that you need a restraining order to get rid of.


Here in Idaho, we have a different idea of "restraining order...." We use a short piece of rope to restrain their neck to a tall tree.


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