# The Sexual Frustration Thread



## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I used to get like this

Eh I do not like setting myself up for disappointment however at this point in time. Too much high hopes & pressure sucks. (To me that is). 

Eh but I do need to get laid sooner then later by the random casual dude I am seeing. I do not think thats quite what was being talked about here tho.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

kaleidoscope said:


> I don't know if it's about being 'authoritative', or even a male vs female thing, but more the contrast. I don't perceive him as having control over me, but control over himself. It's that he can fuck with me, get me all flustered, and be okay himself - while I'm a horny, panting mess. At the same time, I also adore the opposite: getting _him_ turned on, and making him slowly lose composure and control. Maybe that's the switch in me, lol.


I wonder how much of the 'control' aspect of D/s dynamics is about who has control over themselves, and how much is about controlling another person (which I guess in reality means yourself + another person) vs. being controlled. 

But that is OT.. or is it? :wink:


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## ECM (Apr 8, 2015)

star tripper said:


> .
> 
> This company is shady as hell lol.


Lol, I would not be able to deal with that sort of environment or type of system. Just... ugh makes me cringe at the shade and dirt in that place. I'd be slapping all the managers for lack of humanity and morals. 

I think I'll stick to trying to become an author... lol


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## Jamaia (Dec 17, 2014)

ninjahitsawall said:


> I wonder how much of the 'control' aspect of D/s dynamics is about who has control over themselves, and how much is about controlling another person (which I guess in reality means yourself + another person) vs. being controlled.
> 
> But that is OT.. or is it? :wink:


I'd imagine being able to control self is the prerequisite for being dominant, period.


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## Hypaspist (Feb 11, 2012)

Curves that would make a race car driver blush. If I got that wrong, I don't bloody care. Damn!

I want to make the moves like on a ficus, but I never once figured out how to suggest sex/get that far in a relationship/get in a relationship/schedule a time we're both free/find a single girl.


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## Sylarz (Sep 4, 2014)

Well, yes, I suppose I can let my secret out here since it doesn't matter anyway.

I'm nearly at 5 years. So that speaks for itself lol.

For some of that time, I did have a girlfriend, but she wouldn't make love to me unfortunately. I thought if I showed her how much I love her, eventually she might. Well now she's gone, I still love her deeply. I think I always will. And I kind of hate myself for that. I feel like I learned a lesson. Maybe I was too ugly, I don't know. She was quite out of my league.

Basically I'm trying to accept it, but it still hurts deep down daily to be such a reject. 

It's weird to see my friends pick up so easily. I'm not jealous, it just makes me feel a bit worthless sometimes. But I try to focus on my interests, and block it out.

My only real plan is to get skinny/ripped. I might become attractive that way.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

Jamaia said:


> I'd imagine being able to control self is the prerequisite for being dominant, period.


So it's necessary, but is it sufficient?


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## Jamaia (Dec 17, 2014)

ninjahitsawall said:


> So it's necessary, but is it sufficient?


No, you'd need another person who you can affect and who's less able to control themselves. And then to make it more than a vague reference to that type of dynamic, you probably need to be able to speak the same language in order to control the force and direction of the dynamic.


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## bknight554 (Sep 25, 2012)

I had a 3 month thing with a then 18 year old who was stunning. I mean, Model stunning. We did all sorts all over the place In the back of my Car :O

It's been 2 years since then and I've been dry ever since.

I really need to sell my car..


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## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

ninjahitsawall said:


> I wonder how much of the 'control' aspect of D/s dynamics is about who has control over themselves, and how much is about controlling another person (which I guess in reality means yourself + another person) vs. being controlled.
> 
> But that is OT.. or is it? :wink:





Jamaia said:


> No, you'd need another person who you can affect and who's less able to control themselves. And then to make it more than a vague reference to that type of dynamic, you probably need to be able to speak the same language in order to control the force and direction of the dynamic.


Lol, Jamaia xD I don't think it's as simple as that, at all. There is a great deal more going on psychologically in a D/s dynamic besides control. I also completely disagree that being submissive is about having less control over yourself. It's about relinquishing that control and giving it up to someone else, rather than an inherent lack of personal self-control. I do agree that part of being dominant is about being able to control yourself, but that's the tip of the iceberg, an external manifestation of a dynamic that goes way deeper than that. 

Not gonna go into detail though because there's literally an entire thread dedicated to this, lol. You called it, ninja


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## Jamaia (Dec 17, 2014)

kaleidoscope said:


> Lol, Jamaia xD I don't think it's as simple as that, at all. There is a great deal more going on psychologically in a D/s dynamic besides control. I also completely disagree that being submissive is about having less control over yourself. It's about relinquishing that control and giving it up to someone else, rather than an inherent lack of personal self-control. I do agree that part of being dominant is about being able to control yourself, but that's the tip of the iceberg, an external manifestation of a dynamic that goes way deeper than that.
> 
> Not gonna go into detail though because there's literally an entire thread dedicated to this, lol. You called it, ninja


I need a smiley that is glaring suspiciously, hang on. Closest one -> :numbness: (imagine a unibrow)


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## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

Jamaia said:


> I need a smiley that is glaring suspiciously, hang on.


Oh, I get glares from ENTPs now. Terrifying..


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## mangodelic psycho (Jan 12, 2015)

I'm sure it's only the females that glare, the males must be getting pretty sexually frustrated seeing your avatar.


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## UraniaIsis (Nov 26, 2014)

Three months dry spell since getting my cherry popped for the first time five days shy of my 30th b-day. I regret nothing. Wished my ex had the patience to conquer all the cherries I had to pop, but I digress. Sexting and my toys can only do so much. Gaahhh! :crying:










My sentiments exactly!


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## star tripper (Sep 1, 2013)

I love how I thought I'd be among the most sexually frustrated here because I've only had sex ~40 times in the past four months.

Damn, y'all need a good fucking.


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## ECM (Apr 8, 2015)

star tripper said:


> I love how I thought I'd be among the most sexually frustrated here because I've only had sex ~40 times in the past four months.
> 
> Damn, y'all need a good fucking.


Yes, yes we do. I haven't had any sexual activity since my break up which was last December. And encounting till I find love again.


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## ECM (Apr 8, 2015)

My spanking hand is itchy.


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## Angina Jolie (Feb 13, 2014)

Arrgghh


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## Jamaia (Dec 17, 2014)

star tripper said:


> I love how I thought I'd be among the most sexually frustrated here because I've only had sex ~40 times in the past four months.
> 
> Damn, y'all need a good fucking.


That's a terrible thing to say in a sexual frustration thread :laughing:


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## Meliodas (Nov 16, 2016)

Well would anyone actually consider meeting up? Like we could easily have a couple of speed dating events for PerC members. 

I am being absolutely serious here.

P.S. It could probably be done online, like over Skype.


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## SgtPepper (Nov 22, 2016)

star tripper said:


> I love how I thought I'd be among the most sexually frustrated here because I've only had sex ~40 times in the past four months.
> 
> Damn, y'all need a good fucking.


Way to rub it in.


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## Macrosapien (Apr 4, 2010)

You know what, I'm good. I have not had sexual relations in a year honestly. I havent tried honestly, I was talking to different women, but just wasnt trying to go that far. im pretty good without the need for sex, atm. there was frustration, but I seek quality, and learned my lesson, so the frustration, as it will manifest from time to time, is necessary for me.


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## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)

Rock Of Ages said:


> Well would anyone actually consider meeting up?


<-yurofgt: Yes.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

kaleidoscope said:


> Lol, Jamaia xD I don't think it's as simple as that, at all. There is a great deal more going on psychologically in a D/s dynamic besides control. I also completely disagree that being submissive is about having less control over yourself. It's about relinquishing that control and giving it up to someone else, rather than an inherent lack of personal self-control. I do agree that part of being dominant is about being able to control yourself, but that's the tip of the iceberg, an external manifestation of a dynamic that goes way deeper than that.
> 
> Not gonna go into detail though because there's literally an entire thread dedicated to this, lol. You called it, ninja


The dungeon didn't elucidate this issue for me last I was in there. Maybe I need a better flashlight. 

But isn't it really just a more depraved version of this thread? 



EccentricM said:


> My spanking hand is itchy.


Might be time to shave.



Macrosapien said:


> You know what, I'm good. I have not had sexual relations in a year honestly. I havent tried honestly, I was talking to different women, but just wasnt trying to go that far. im pretty good without the need for sex, atm. there was frustration, but I seek quality, and learned my lesson, so the frustration, as it will manifest from time to time, is necessary for me.


Before I read this I was ready to ask if people here actually experience frustration as a continuous thing. I think of it as just a higher degree of horniness (higher than normal). That is easily fixable lol. But if it's not horniness and it's something that's always there, then wouldn't the frustration be more emotional?


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## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

The sexual frustration is unreal for Kalei. It's so intense and pervasive now, and _everything_ he does turns me on. I was on the phone with him, and he was just telling me about stuff going on at work, and I started playing with myself just listening him, and trying to be subtle. I wish he was actually there, I have a feeling he would've pounced on me the moment he realized what was going on.


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## perpetuallyreticent (Sep 24, 2014)

So as it turns out, I'm not going to be getting that sex I was promised in a few weeks.

Fuckin A

Sent from my 5054N using Tapatalk


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## ECM (Apr 8, 2015)

I was moved to make this;


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## camous (Jul 12, 2015)

I am super frustrated atm. First I am really attracted to someone I am not dating, and after a while of not seeing her, I am seeing her quite often atm and she is still so attractive and a very sensual person so... my brain goes blank when I see her!
I don't feel attracted towards other women enough atm to want to have sex with them. Plus I just started therapy and dealing with old sexual abuse trauma so not sure that casual sex would fit for me rn, hence no release but also I am terrified of being intimate with people I love (and I can't have them anyway so) vicious circle U_U life is killing me


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## star tripper (Sep 1, 2013)

My boss was not scared straight. He came up to me today and said, "So I'll be officially moved out by tomorrow."

"How exciting."

"...I'm sad."

"Why?"

"You know why." He looked away and then batted his eyes at me.

"You have the power now, not me. We can stop laying low any time."

"I know, I know. I'm still scared though. Just give me a little bit more time. And stop teasing me with your clothes.... or don't."

Aaaaaaand I got wet at work. Again.


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## DualGnosis (Apr 6, 2013)

90% of the women I want to bang are either married or in relationships.

The other 10% are on instagram, and live on other side of the world.


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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)

It's really weird, I had sex with this one woman once and it was so intense it took away any desire for it completely but I have never quite experienced that to such a degree before.

We had lots of chemistry though, it was very sudden and unexpected.

Otherwise I guess I am always up for it:blushed:

I guess it's usually sort of the opposite like, "that's so good, I WANT MORE!!11" but instead it was like I had climbed the Himalayas, reached the peak of mount Everest and gained a state of enlightenment and nirvana. 

That being said, it makes me sad because I think we both almost fell in love or something. It was totally weird. Being in love is bad, it's like an axe that needs wood. I just cut things in half like I'm a lumberjack and I live in the woods. Live in the woods like a dirty animal!

Wait no, that's a horrible analogy.

I guess I'm just not meant for one night stands, I don't know.


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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)

Basically, I always feel like a bear who wants to put his hand in the honey jar : (

It's da, bare necessities, the simple bare necessities, don't worry bout' your problems and your strife

It's da, bea...r.....necessities :' (

bear....necessities..... '
'
 '


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## star tripper (Sep 1, 2013)

The sexual tension was so bad he ended up smacking and groping my ass at work while my coworker was in the backroom.

Safe to say we won't last like this and will simply have to carry on.


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## Tropes (Jul 7, 2016)

There is nobody in my life I am interested in, and I am not even sure to what extent I am still open to if I did meet someone I might be. I miss the hunger, I miss the intensity of the frustration, even unrequited love seems like a good idea right about now.

So here's my frustration at the lack of the right frustration.


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## mangodelic psycho (Jan 12, 2015)

star tripper said:


> The sexual tension was so bad he ended up smacking and groping my ass at work while my coworker was in the backroom.
> 
> Safe to say we won't last like this and will simply have to carry on.


You're pure evil. Diabolical. Satanic. Just. stop. 

(please carry on)


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## JoetheBull (Apr 29, 2010)

I wish I was born asexual. I am struggling to deal with being single my entire life and not having sex with hookers since it's mainly only good for parting with cash and feeling regret, guilt, and enforce the feeling of being a pathetic worthless loser. Sex (and intimacy) can't be that good of an experience that everyone claims it to be. Why the hell do I crave and want it? I have considered castration, but suicide might be more merciful considering about half of my life has already been wasted.


Sorry that rant went a little too dark there. lol.


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## ECM (Apr 8, 2015)

Had sex dreams about my ex... 

Havent dreamt about her in... well since I broke with her and was trying to get over her in the following months... 

Was searching in this city for her, found her apartment, I sneak in and she is in her room crying to herself. So I hide behind the door just trying not to be seen. Then I can't help myself and walk in. She looks at me and I expected her to be angry or wondering what the hell I was doing in there, but no.. she just stared at me, looking sad. She then asked me to sit on her bed and I wanted to ask what was wrong.

From what I gathered she was being treated badly by the guy she was with (the same guy she is with IRL, who she cheated on me with). i said to her "I was expecting you to be mad at me breaking into here and trying to look for you". She said nothing, but just told me to lie down. She began stripping me and took off her own clothes right down to complete nudity, then she mounts onto me, grinding on me and says "put it in me" whilst smiling at me. So I do, and she just sits down slowly, sliding down my shaft till it goes all the way in, then starts riding me very slowly, very sensual, placing her hands on my chest. I'm certain I came inside her, it felt like it... then I woke... with a huge hardon and also bewildered that I'd dream of her after all this time. It's left me feeling... odd/questioning my feelings. Though I'm guessing such is temporary, just Fi playing tricks through memory and feelings attached to those memories.


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## psykosi (Dec 4, 2016)

I can't remember the last time I felt spark for anyone. The feeling has been gone for quite some time.


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## Asity (May 12, 2014)

I met this guy during this summer. He wasn't someone I would normally even talk to, considering he was more of a loud, alpha-male type of person who had most fun leading the show and keeping everyone hyped up. I don't really understand why he chose to stay around me either, as I'm pretty much the opposite. On the second day one thing lead to another though. 

And even though it was just that one time, I sometimes think about it, because the way he kissed turned me on so hard. Even though it was a one-time thing, the kissing felt a lot more intimate than it 'should', and he was one of the best kissers I've had the fortune of locking lips with. Maybe also the fact that he was that loud, 'bad' boy dare-devil type who got all soft like that was sexy  Good thing to have hot memories on these cold nights.


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## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)

No-fap, no-porn, sex-mails sent out in advance-> expect mindblowing responses back, 10 days. It's fucking tingling EVERYWHERE after 20 hours! :shocked: (seriously, I love this feeling, can still control the cock  )


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## perpetuallyreticent (Sep 24, 2014)

I recently re-installed Tinder a few days ago... and I was talking with this guy that was looking for a FWB/sex positive thing. He was quite older than me (11 years older) but didn't really matter since it wasn't going to be a relationship. But a couple hours into texting, and he wanted to meet up tomorrow. I declined and unmatched. 

Random encounters for sex freak me out. I just want intimacy with someone. Sigh.


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## ECM (Apr 8, 2015)

Indeed, as sex mad as I am, I'd only do it with someone I'm in an authentic relationship with. Love first. 

I mean, to be honest I don't even watch porn or anything (anymore). Found it somewhat desensitising and slowly got me used to variety and "choosing" based on "body image". 

I have found whilst even more frustrating for me, it's also rewarding since sexual stories become even hotter, my fantasies double fold and someone I'm in love with... well it's like finding the end of the rainbow with the pot of gold when they strip down to "nothing" and get freaky with you. Oh and they can tell you've been deprived... in a good way  

Regular water in all flavours and it's a normality... put yourself in the desert and when you just find a puddle.... now that's what you call deliciously refreshing.


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## perpetuallyreticent (Sep 24, 2014)

EccentricM said:


> Indeed, as sex mad as I am, I'd only do it with someone I'm in an authentic relationship with. Love first.
> 
> I mean, to be honest I don't even watch porn or anything (anymore). Found it somewhat desensitising and slowly got me used to variety and "choosing" based on "body image".
> 
> ...


That's pretty hot. But I wholeheartedly agree, I can't do sex without some kind of bond. I strive for a sense of intimacy- maybe it's the sx in me. I don't know. But sex seems pointless if I don't genuinely want to please my partner. And I don't care to please strangers. No matter how hot they are, really. 

But I hate this. :crying:


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## ECM (Apr 8, 2015)

perpetuallyreticent said:


> But I hate this. :crying:


Yes, I often have sounds playing in my head consisting of slaps, spanks, pounds, slippery, wet things and moaning combined with imagined physical sensations. 

Right now I'm in a running my fingers through hair then pulling from behind type of mood... 

I do love a reversed curvature of the spine with her head pulled back whilst she's on all fours, it's a nice view... that or her head pushed downwards into the bed, hands tied/cuffed behind the back and ass remaining up, oooh such smooth skin to slide the hands across, over the rear cheeks and down her back, back up again followed by a spank, all whilst having simultaneously rhythmic, slow but hard pounding going on.... 

Yeeeah, that type of mood... x)


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## perpetuallyreticent (Sep 24, 2014)

EccentricM said:


> Yes, I often have sounds playing in my head consisting of slaps, spanks, pounds, slippery, wet things and moaning combined with imagined physical sensations.
> 
> Right now I'm in a running my fingers through hair then pulling from behind type of mood...
> 
> ...


......Yeah. About the same over here. 

Damn you. :blush:


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## ECM (Apr 8, 2015)

perpetuallyreticent said:


> ......Yeah. About the same over here.
> 
> Damn you. :blush:


You're welcome ;D

(Wow, I just had the most evil chuckle right now)


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## ECM (Apr 8, 2015)

Tell you another thing on my mind I also like doing. Tying her up to a wall and then having a window open on hot nights, just for a slight breeze. 

I like to lick my finger and run it down the center of her torso, starting from the neck, down between her breasts and stop right on the hood of the clit to tease.. juuust when she thought I was gonna go there. And the breeze? Well, it will highlight where my finger has been and where it was so close to going. 

Just leave that little tingle of frustration there and her unable to do anything being tied. Wait a bit, do the same process but with my tongue directly. Again, just stopping at the point. Of course this time staying down, and I work my way up from one of her inner thighs, starting behind the knee and dragging the tongue up, right into the crease of the groin and then "around" over the clitoral hood again, just missing it, but tantalising it, and back down the other groin crease and leg. 

Then finaally... "finally", from the center between her legs, just running my hands up both her inner thighs as I close my face in for the meal and dig in and give her what she (and I) have been lusting for. 


Mixing sensuality and kink is just a perfect mixture...


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## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

Shipping @EccentricM & @perpetuallyreticent. :3


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## CalamityBee (Dec 5, 2016)

@kaleidoscope lol i was about to say the same thing, it looks like quite an interesting conversation


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## ECM (Apr 8, 2015)

I have no idea what you are all on about...


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## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)

perpetuallyreticent said:


> Random encounters for sex freak me out. I just want intimacy with someone. Sigh.


What's wrong with random encounters for intimacy... sex optional. Weird guy you talked to. 

9 days.


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## perpetuallyreticent (Sep 24, 2014)

pwowq said:


> What's wrong with random encounters for intimacy... sex optional. Weird guy you talked to.
> 
> 9 days.


I already explained why. 

I require a connection of some kind. I don't like meaningless flings or meeting someone with the sole intention of just having sex with them.

Sent from my 5054N using Tapatalk


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## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)

perpetuallyreticent said:


> I already explained why.
> 
> I require a connection of some kind. I don't like meaningless flings or meeting someone with the sole intention of just having sex with them.
> 
> Sent from my 5054N using Tapatalk


As far as connections goes, holding hands is a start.


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## ECM (Apr 8, 2015)

pwowq said:


> As far as connections goes, holding hands is a start.


No nooo, she wants to be wooed, to spend time... to come together by authentic and natural means... not trying to "fall in love for sex" but falling in love... for falling in love and then the sex comes naturally. The former would only imply a fling, even if romance and connection was attempted and gained, because the "drive" for making that initial connection making was sex, which defeats her objective in the end.

"Why did you pick me...how did you fall in love with me?"

"Well you know, I just wanted dick in my vag, but I can't do it without love, so go figure". 

You know?


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## perpetuallyreticent (Sep 24, 2014)

EccentricM said:


> No nooo, she wants to be wooed, to spend time... to come together by authentic and natural means... not trying to "fall in love for sex" but falling in love... for falling in love and then the sex comes naturally. The former would only imply a fling, even if romance and connection was attempted and gained, because the "drive" for making that initial connection making was sex, which defeats her objective in the end.
> 
> "Why did you pick me...how did you fall in love with me?"
> 
> ...


Haha, exactly. 

Genuine intellectual, emotional connection and then physical.


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## TheJ (Aug 3, 2015)

perpetuallyreticent said:


> Haha, exactly.
> 
> Genuine intellectual, emotional connection and then physical.


The problem I see is that often the male mindset is as follows:

"Why did you pick me...how did you fall in love with me?"

"Well you know, I just wanted to put my dick in a vag, but I couldn't do it without making you fall inlove with me, so go figure".

Well, maybe it's not so much of a problem- after all this is why we make the effort to woo you and connect.


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## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)

EccentricM said:


> *fappery*
> You know?


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## ECM (Apr 8, 2015)




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## Hypaspist (Feb 11, 2012)

Another semester void of action. I think I've officially either stopped giving a shit, or stopped trying. Not sure which.


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## Headdesk (Jun 13, 2016)

Everyone I want to fuck lives in fucking South America or something and I'm surrounded by married, heterosexual women. Fuck.


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## TheJ (Aug 3, 2015)

Headdesk said:


> Everyone I want to fuck lives in fucking South America or something and I'm surrounded by married, heterosexual women. Fuck.


It's time to move.


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## Headdesk (Jun 13, 2016)

TheJ said:


> It's time to move.


But why can't I just have a harem of sexy Brazilian men here?


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## TheJ (Aug 3, 2015)

Headdesk said:


> But why can't I just have a harem of sexy Brazilian men here?


Immigration laws.


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## Headdesk (Jun 13, 2016)

TheJ said:


> Immigration laws.


:shocked:

:crying:

But I'd take good care of them...

It's not even 9am and I'm horny. Guess I'll go make coffee.


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## TheJ (Aug 3, 2015)

Headdesk said:


> :shocked:
> 
> :crying:
> 
> ...


Story of my life. Hope your coffee is good.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

TheJ said:


> It's time to move.


I agree, @Headdesk and I'm in a similar situation (long-distance problem, though not necessarily internationally lol).


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## Headdesk (Jun 13, 2016)

ninjahitsawall said:


> I agree, @Headdesk and I'm in a similar situation (long-distance problem, though not necessarily internationally lol).


Don't encourage me to go ravage Brazil lol.


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## ECM (Apr 8, 2015)

I highly empathise.


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## perpetuallyreticent (Sep 24, 2014)

TheJ said:


> The problem I see is that often the male mindset is as follows:
> 
> "Why did you pick me...how did you fall in love with me?"
> 
> ...


But the question is, is that the mindset of a pompous, douchey player or did the guy in that scenario also develop feelings? The motivations might be different for certain individuals. 

For me, I strive to connect with a person. I want strong intimacy, and sex is a bonus. Sex with someone you love and feel strongly for is a huge fucking bonus, actually. Lately, I've just been thinking about it so much because I'm recently single and I'm used to getting it. I simply miss the act of intimacy with someone I cared about, not necessarily the act in that of itself. Because sex with a hot stranger holds absolutely no appeal to me. None at all. 

If I get the feeling that's what someone is out for with me, I'm going to sense it and reject that person. All I want is someone to love and put time into, but also have great sex with because of that. :laughing:


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## TheJ (Aug 3, 2015)

perpetuallyreticent said:


> But the question is, is that the mindset of a pompous, douchey player or did the guy in that scenario also develop feelings? The motivations might be different for certain individuals.
> 
> For me, I strive to connect with a person. I want strong intimacy, and sex is a bonus. Sex with someone you love and feel strongly for is a huge fucking bonus, actually. Lately, I've just been thinking about it so much because I'm recently single and I'm used to getting it. I simply miss the act of intimacy with someone I cared about, not necessarily the act in that of itself. Because sex with a hot stranger holds absolutely no appeal to me. None at all.
> 
> If I get the feeling that's what someone is out for with me, I'm going to sense it and reject that person. All I want is someone to love and put time into, but also have great sex with because of that. :laughing:


Yes you're right, people do come into this situation with different intentions in mind.

And yes I can relate, I've recently really have gotten to understand just how much of a role this connection plays in enjoying sex, I mean if you don't actually like or care much for the other person, their enjoyment also doesn't matter nearly as much, and then the act of sex becomes sort of like masturbation with another person- which to be honest is more tedious and cumbersome than just masturbating by yourself. 

However I can't deny that what for starters makes me curious and wanting to go through the terribly awkward experience of making that initial contact is simply the prospect of having sex with this beautiful looking specimen of the female variant that I have encountered. I think attraction is a very primal thing.


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## perpetuallyreticent (Sep 24, 2014)

TheJ said:


> Yes you're right, people do come into this situation with different intentions in mind.
> 
> And yes I can relate, I've recently really have gotten to understand just how much of a role this connection plays in enjoying sex, I mean if you don't actually like or care much for the other person, their enjoyment also doesn't matter nearly as much, and then the act of sex becomes sort of like masturbation with another person- which to be honest is more tedious and cumbersome than just masturbating by yourself.
> 
> However I can't deny that what for starters makes me curious and wanting to go through the terribly awkward experience of making that initial contact is simply the prospect of having sex with this beautiful looking specimen of the female variant that I have encountered. I think attraction is a very primal thing.


Fair enough. I've always been amazed by people who go out primarily looking for flings/meaningless sex. Because I don't understand it at all, it's interesting to me that some people don't require that connection to thoroughly enjoy sex. For some reason beyond even my own comprehension, I find it rather pointless to put effort in to since I don't feel as though I'd get much from it. I think my enjoyment of sex is less of the act itself, and the level of intimacy it creates between two people.

It's hard to explain. Like, yes I obviously enjoy the physical act. It feels great. But when thinking about the idea of having sex with someone I'm in love with, or feel a deep connection with, I think about how good it'll feel to make them feel good and to be so close to someone and in tune with yours and their natural, primal instincts. Sharing that kind of connection with someone is special, and I love demonstrating to someone that I care for, just how deeply I care, through the act of sex.

I feel as though it's such an easy way for me to demonstrate my feelings and desires toward a person, personally.


----------



## camous (Jul 12, 2015)

This is getting ridiculous, I am supposed to have coffee with that girl I have a crush on and be like cool and you know all that thing because she needs "distance" atm after going through a fucked up break up (well she doesn't need distance from some of the guys she is hooking up with, like why she is even calling herself queer). So i am supposed to sit in front of her next week and be chill and pretend like all is cool and I have no attraction to her while in the back of my mind I'll be thinking " I had so many sex dreams with lately" but oh well... life is a joke I might as well laugh at it. I wish i could just ask her if she wants to fuck cause I am in such despair ughhh


----------



## star tripper (Sep 1, 2013)

The good news: He says he's ready to get back together. He did caution that if there's another scare, we have to halt it until I quit the job, but that's rational.
The bad news: It's finals week this week so I had to tell him we can't see each other until next week.

The agony.


----------



## StaticPulse (Nov 9, 2016)

Yeah, I'm experiencing some sexual frustration. Moved away to college in August and it has exacerbated a dry spell. More frustrating is that there's no shortage of single men, the problem is me. Normally I have sex once or twice a year and stick to masturbating for the most part. It had been awhile before I went to college. I didn't think about having a roommate and the social awkwardness of bringing a guy back just for sex. I got the reputation for school slut as a kid and even if I've grown a thicker skin now, it can hurt my credibility and opportunities here. 

I wonder if life would be easier if I just tried out the boyfriend thing. I'd get regular sex. But then I watch the boyfriend drama and realize I got no business dating. I don't have the first clue what I want in a relationship, I'm immature and selfish and lack of sex isn't a good reason to get into a relationship. 

I feel like the fat kid left alone in the store room of a candy store and told don't touch. I want sex and there's not shortage of guys available. At home, my Mom doesn't give a crap who I bring home or how many I bring home. This wouldn't even be an issue if I weren't here. 

To summarize, I'm an idiot cock blocking herself and I'm not sure if I need to just get over myself or if this is another example where my ever shitty impulse control needs to be exercised. But hey, I've been setting new records for myself during work outs. Why can't I be one of those people with no sex drive?


----------



## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

^


StaticPulse said:


> I wonder if life would be easier if I just tried out the boyfriend thing.


FWB 

I'm a fairly regular rider on the frustration train because I have high drive and my SO has low/normal. He checks out medically, all well on the sexual front, but he has a sensory condition and I think it makes some of the ins and outs (ha) of sex (as well as some non-sexual activities) less instinctually pleasing for him - he obviously still enjoys it, but I think for him it's more of a plus/minus, whereas I pretty much find it a win-win for all areas of my life. And my love language is physical touch, because fuck me, I guess. Theoretically I suppose I could explore other avenues but I'm really stupid attracted to him. On the bright side there's something a bit fun (though torturing) about the anticipation, and personally I'd rather this than feeling chased and pressured.


----------



## StaticPulse (Nov 9, 2016)

angelfish said:


> ^
> 
> FWB
> 
> I'm a fairly regular rider on the frustration train because I have high drive and my SO has low/normal. He checks out medically, all well on the sexual front, but he has a sensory condition and I think it makes some of the ins and outs (ha) of sex (as well as some non-sexual activities) less instinctually pleasing for him - he obviously still enjoys it, but I think for him it's more of a plus/minus, whereas I pretty much find it a win-win for all areas of my life. And my love language is physical touch, because fuck me, I guess. Theoretically I suppose I could explore other avenues but I'm really stupid attracted to him. On the bright side there's something a bit fun (though torturing) about the anticipation, and personally I'd rather this than feeling chased and pressured.


FWB's are just that, friends. I don't tend to keep a lot of friends, but the ones I have are tight. I know this much about myself, if I'm sleeping with the same guy all the time, it's not just sex anymore. At least for me it wouldn't be. I'm not gonna screw with my head like that. 

How did you find yourself wind up in the craziness? This is an example why dating doesn't look like a good example. Finding yourself in a relationship at odds with their sex drive. Gahhh! I'm glad it works for you even if it is frustrating.


----------



## leictreon (Jan 4, 2016)

I like chubby girls with thick asses and cute personalities.

I can't find any chubby girl with a thick ass and cute personality that isn't taken (well, the chubby and thick ass parts are mostly optional but the cute personality is a must). Everybody's getting laid but me, this is ridiculous. I hate being a 21 year old virgin.

Also, my sexual desires towards my crush are intense. It's frustrating how she's taken and doesn't like me back.


----------



## g_w (Apr 16, 2013)

Rock Of Ages said:


> If it helps any, you currently have the sexiest avatar of anybody on PerC.
> 
> And I am also feeling an insane urge to fuck someone unconscious. So you wanna be my bitch? I'll have you screaming "YES DONALD!" to the sound of fascist war music momentarily. We can shitpost together afterwards.


The old Bloom County comic strip had a woman making out with a guy in which she said, "Just for me...talk like him again."
The guy starts impersonating Oliver North and ends with her getting so excited she exclaims, "Oh Ollie! Shred me!"


----------



## g_w (Apr 16, 2013)

mangodelic psycho said:


> I'm sure it's only the females that glare, the males must be getting pretty sexually frustrated seeing your avatar.


 @mangodelic psycho, @kaleidoscope --
Yeah, I know. I haven't read a good book to completion in _weeks_.


----------



## GoodOldDreamer (Sep 8, 2011)

The whole 'casual/stranger' sex thing boggles my mind. Some people act like if they don't 'get some', they're gonna die. Go to the bathroom, or bedroom, get your hands busy for awhile, then get on with life. Maybe addiction is more common than people would admit or something.

I'm a demi so I don't really have this kind of frustration I guess. I have a healthy libido when I'm with someone I'm connected to, sure. But outside of that, I couldn't care less, lol. We're sentient creatures. We're one of the few species on this planet not beholden to our biology and making dumb mistakes in the 'heat of the moment'. How hard is it really to rise to that?

I swear sometimes I feel like an alien, lol.


----------



## lil intro vert (Jan 14, 2016)

atamagasuita said:


> Yeah &#55357;&#56848;


Yeah what? lol


----------



## BereavedBlissfulness (Dec 10, 2016)

**sneaks into thread*
*quietly observes**


----------



## Ultio (Nov 22, 2016)

I have this scene in my mind that I would really like to try lol. It's difficult to explain. Here goes:

I want to go down on a girl and when she grabs my head and holds it tightly between her legs and is close to climaxing...grab her hips...quickly lift her up so she is literally sitting on my shoulder, and I am standing holding her...my face between her legs...eating her out...she grabs my head tighter...pushing my tongue deeper as she orgasms...and I slam her down on the bed...pull her legs close to my face so she is upside down now...increase the intensity of the tongue action...her eyes and mine meet...leading to consecutive orgasms! 

I want to try this!


----------



## atamagasuita (May 15, 2016)

TheProtagonist said:


> Yeah what? lol


Lol 😁 i just said yeah cus i don't actually understand the response. Hahaha. XD i don't know what to reply but i already hit the reply button. So i just said, "yeah" hahaha


----------



## lil intro vert (Jan 14, 2016)

atamagasuita said:


> Lol &#55357;&#56833; i just said yeah cus i don't actually understand the response. Hahaha. XD i don't know what to reply but i already hit the reply button. So i just said, "yeah" hahaha


Incredible lol.


----------



## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

All I have to say is ahhhhhhh! :1892:


----------



## Headdesk (Jun 13, 2016)

Got off twice today and might be up for a 3rd. Hit 6 last Saturday.

Shoot me. Fuck me. _Something_.

I have other things to do!


----------



## Nyanpichu (Jun 5, 2014)

BereavedBlissfulness said:


> **sneaks into thread*
> *quietly observes**


hey i see you c:
lets lurk together
*nonchalantly observes with bereaved*


----------



## Nyanpichu (Jun 5, 2014)

Headdesk said:


> Got off twice today and might be up for a 3rd. Hit 6 last Saturday.
> 
> *Shoot me. Fuck me. Something*.
> 
> I have other things to do!


In that order or?


----------



## Nyanpichu (Jun 5, 2014)

TheProtagonist said:


> Tell me about it. I'm also not masturbating as an experiment. I feel like hulk.... all. over. my. body. all over.


Yeah i tried that and when I did finaly have sex which was after a couple months of not masturbating
i felt like i didn't have as much stamina? Used to being able to get off mutliple times in one session
but then I could only get off once :/ it was weird cause people say you are supposed to feel the opposite 
effects right? 
might be tmi

* *





The only thing i did notice was a slight increase in girth and thickness


----------



## Headdesk (Jun 13, 2016)

Nyanpichu said:


> In that order or?


I'm not gonna kinkshame you


----------



## Nyanpichu (Jun 5, 2014)

Headdesk said:


> I'm not gonna kinkshame you


kinkshaming is one of my kinks :^)


----------



## lil intro vert (Jan 14, 2016)

Nyanpichu said:


> Yeah i tried that and when I did finaly have sex which was after a couple months of not masturbating
> i felt like i didn't have as much stamina? Used to being able to get off mutliple times in one session
> but then I could only get off once :/ it was weird cause people say you are supposed to feel the opposite
> effects right?
> ...


As far as the stamina I totally understand. Before when I tried it I went 14 days and then I masturbated and I didn't want to do it anymore after lol for a while. I'd rather get my stamina up with real sex though? Idk. 

I do also notice that too btw. You're not alone.


----------



## Queen of Cups (Feb 26, 2010)

One word: 

Children.

The irony that the product of the sex act can regularly and efficiently block said act.


----------



## BereavedBlissfulness (Dec 10, 2016)

Just going to leave this here...


----------



## ECM (Apr 8, 2015)

BereavedBlissfulness said:


> Just going to leave this here...


I can actually hear it.


----------



## BereavedBlissfulness (Dec 10, 2016)

EccentricM said:


> I can actually hear it.


:laughing:


----------



## atamagasuita (May 15, 2016)

BereavedBlissfulness said:


> Just going to leave this here...


Hahahahahhahahahah! 😁


----------



## perpetuallyreticent (Sep 24, 2014)

Just 4 days... Hallelujah. 

Sent from my 5054N using Tapatalk


----------



## sensorium (Oct 20, 2010)

A few weeks ago I was on the bus, and this girl sat next to me. I didn't find her attractive. She was very absorbed by the book she was reading, didn't seem to mind or even notice that her shoulder was pressing against mine. But the sensation of another human being in physical contact with me, it felt good. I felt my muscles relax and a warmth in my chest.

I didn't get a hard-on or anything, so I wouldn't say my frustration is necessarily 'sexual', but it would appear that I'm badly craving being touched.


----------



## ECM (Apr 8, 2015)

After the little talk in this thread; http://personalitycafe.com/sex-relationships/973954-how-not-horny-6.html

I really want to receive a BJ right now...


----------



## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

sensorium said:


> A few weeks ago I was on the bus, and this girl sat next to me. I didn't find her attractive. She was very absorbed by the book she was reading, didn't seem to mind or even notice that her shoulder was pressing against mine. But the sensation of another human being in physical contact with me, it felt good. I felt my muscles relax and a warmth in my chest.
> 
> I didn't get a hard-on or anything, so I wouldn't say my frustration is necessarily 'sexual', but it would appear that I'm badly craving being touched.


I can totally relate to this but I'm single. If you don't mind me asking, why would you feel this way if you are married?


----------



## sensorium (Oct 20, 2010)

Mmmm said:


> I can totally relate to this but I'm single. If you don't mind me asking, why would you feel this way if you are married?


Well, that's a story I don't mind sharing in private, but publicly... I'd rather not.


----------



## atamagasuita (May 15, 2016)

Guys i should be leaving you right now. I'm not anymore sexually frustrated. Sorry I'm just really acting out. I'm not really frustrated about sex. I'm actually happy with my life having no sex. Actually i have a strong control of my self. I don't know, I'm just allowing my fleshful desires to control me. Hehe.  i had fun though being stupid and all. But then, i realized this ain't helping me. That's why I'm leaving myself to be sexually frustrated because I'm really not hehehehehe.  good bye. 

I'm already old. Haha. But I'm still acting like I'm like an attention seeker 16 yo. XD lols. 

Okay 👌 bye guys. I know someday we'll gonna find the right partners for us that would satisfy our sexual desires. It's not today, but patience is a virtue. XD we'll just be surprised that it's already in front of us the least we expect it.  

Sayonara. (^з^)-☆


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

Aeneas321 said:


> Way to rub it in.


lol.


----------



## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)




----------



## Samten (Dec 30, 2016)

sensorium said:


> ...But the sensation of another human being in physical contact with me, it felt good. ...
> 
> ...it would appear that I'm badly craving being touched.


I like it, when that happens to me on public transport. Besides liking sex, I'm also craving just being touched. And I love to touch or establish some sort of physical contact with my girlfriend and other friends that I'm close with.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

What is a sexual frustration? Never experienced this thing in my life.


----------



## BereavedBlissfulness (Dec 10, 2016)

Repression or expression? Man I can't make a decision. But let me use my imagination. :crazy:


----------



## ECM (Apr 8, 2015)

*Random ass spank sound suddenly comes into head* 

Hmmm... *one eye winces*


----------



## ECM (Apr 8, 2015)

I am rarely in " boobs mood", very rare. But you suddenly see a pair in a low cut top, like..really nicely shaped and now I'm just all;.

*hands do boob squeeze mannerisms* lol.


----------



## Elena236 (Jan 6, 2017)

Oh god!


----------



## ECM (Apr 8, 2015)

Elena236 said:


> Oh god!


Oh welcome. Yes are respectable humans, do not worry, just a tad deprived! lol.


----------



## Asity (May 12, 2014)

I was waiting in the airport the other day, and there was this person who reminded me of someone I have slept with. This completely triggered a horny mood there, in the middle of the airport, and I started thinking about where I would have sex in an airport. And then was reminded of some sexy times in public places.. Nothing like feeling all hot and bothered from pure thoughts/memories in public. :dry:


----------



## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)

When I see a nice ass in fitting clothes... I want to caress, touch and kiss it and admire it. Hence I touch my ass very often.

(admire? every person with a good ass is working for it, complement it when allowed to)

Skating, atheltics, skiiing... sexy asses! EVERYWHERE!


----------



## ECM (Apr 8, 2015)

When you're "just about" to have some "solo enjoyment" and a relative comes home... 

-_-


----------



## Noctis (Apr 4, 2012)

EccentricM said:


> When you're "just about" to have some "solo enjoyment" and a relative comes home...
> 
> -_-


Cock blocked


----------



## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)

I'm in sexual tease mode now. Got noone to tease. ;(
@Tropes @Noctis

Are you out there?!

Might as well go to *that site* and blow some heads, figuratively. Too drunk to go anywhere.


----------



## Noctis (Apr 4, 2012)

pwowq said:


> I'm in sexual tease mode now. Got noone to tease. ;(
> @*Tropes* @*Noctis*
> 
> Are you out there?!
> ...


Yummy  What is *that site*?


----------



## Tropes (Jul 7, 2016)

Hey sexy 
I am here-ish, on and off between workloads.


----------



## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

After a week of being fucked out of my mind and mind-blowing orgasms, I am now back to waiting and my old friend, Sexual Frustration. 

March needs to get here _now_.


----------



## BereavedBlissfulness (Dec 10, 2016)

It's hard to repress this side of me. My imagination does not help with repression either. I know this is human nature but why do I feel this way almost every other night? Kind of wished I was as naive as my family thinks I am.


----------



## Ultio (Nov 22, 2016)

BereavedBlissfulness said:


> It's hard to repress this side of me. My imagination does not help with repression either. I know this is human nature but why do I feel this way almost every other night? Kind of wished I was as naive as my family thinks I am.


Why repress it? Is it that wrong? Embrace it!


----------



## HermioneG (Jul 1, 2015)

I had good, very good, regular sex for about 4 months and that ended on NYE. Now that is done and I'm feeling lost. lol. I wish I was capable of one night stands. This girl needs some D.


----------



## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

I never realized how "in the mind" this stuff was. I've been focusing on schoolwork since I got here and I haven't really thought about pleasure or females. So yesterday, I thought why not? But it was not a very enthusiastic opportunity to jump on. I did it and it was fairly simple. But that's all it was. I feel like I got over an addiction, I can do it but I'm not thinking about it all the time.


----------



## atamagasuita (May 15, 2016)

3 weeks without masturbation


----------



## Baloo23 (Mar 1, 2016)

I used to be stuck in this universe. Now I'm up front. I have a high sex drive and am kinky af. Saves me a lot of time. If we can't have an adult conversation about our sexual needs without it turning into her feeling like I'm mind raping her then she is a waste of time. But it has also limited my dating, so... I'm in a good sex dry spell. People are so up tight...


----------



## negativeforce (Nov 11, 2016)

Last time I had sex was five years ago and I've been more or less frustrated for 3 years now. It wasn't so bad in the beginning. Well, I'm happy there is coconut oil...


----------



## TheJ (Aug 3, 2015)

negativeforce said:


> Last time I had sex was five years ago and I've been more or less frustrated for 3 years now. It wasn't so bad in the beginning. Well, I'm happy there is coconut oil...


5 years! what's stopping you from ending this "streak"?


----------



## negativeforce (Nov 11, 2016)

TheJ said:


> 5 years! what's stopping you from ending this "streak"?


Oh the little things....

I lived in a small town in "Western Siberia", North-East Europe and identified as gay. 
Also I'm very selective with who I could have a sexual relationship with as I have kind of an acquiered taste. I don't care for casual hook-ups as I'm not too detached from my body to enjoy them.

Later I moved to Paris, France where I felt the chances of meeting the right people were higher but I still had the bad luck of not attracting the right kind of people and mostly attracting the wrong ones. So 5 years without sex and still counting.

I feel like I can't even remember very clearly actually how it feels to wake up with someone or make love... 

The post here where people complain about going without sex for months feel kind of ridiculous to me although the phenomenological struggle there is real, too.


----------



## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)

edit: nvm


----------



## MisterPerfect (Nov 20, 2015)

This video turned me on and I am very sexually frustrated right now becuase of it 
I need to find a Jack Sparrow Cosplayer to marry 
Why do I have weird fetishes!


----------



## BereavedBlissfulness (Dec 10, 2016)

...*sips matcha tea*


----------



## Asity (May 12, 2014)

Hot guy wearing sweatpants. Makes me just want to press my body against him.


----------



## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)

Asity said:


> Hot guy wearing sweatpants. Makes me just want to press my body against him.


Uhu...

















... I can see why you want that. Meanie!


----------



## Accord2 (Oct 13, 2014)

I don't know how to flirt :crying:


----------



## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

Baloo23 said:


> I used to be stuck in this universe. Now I'm up front. I have a high sex drive and am kinky af. Saves me a lot of time. If we can't have an adult conversation about our sexual needs without it turning into her feeling like I'm mind raping her then she is a waste of time. But it has also limited my dating, so... I'm in a good sex dry spell. People are so up tight...


So when you say "kinky", what does that mean?


----------



## Baloo23 (Mar 1, 2016)

Mmmm said:


> So when you say "kinky", what does that mean?


It means I play rough and often. I have a dominant streak and sexually the only thing I won't indulge in involved blood or poop. So I'm versatile. Fantasies are meant to be explored and I have a good time when my partner experiences something new and has a great time.


----------



## Baloo23 (Mar 1, 2016)

Mmmm said:


> So when you say "kinky", what does that mean?


You could also inbox me if you'd be interested in chatting sometime. Seems our paths cross a lot, could be interesting conversation.


----------



## atamagasuita (May 15, 2016)

One time, I'm bored and sexually frustrated for having not able to fuck a dick xD i don't have a vibrator that time... That i went to a doctor to have a full vaginal checkup. She fingered me.. And then i undergo another procedure where she put some dildo looking equipment on my vagina.. Ooh that felt good a lot xD and the lubes she put was sooooooo good smelling! That's all i think i kinda cum from that.. She's like rotating that dildo looking equipment in my vagina.. It's actually a vaginal xray xD 

Haha. Good part is, the women I'm with those time are all pregnant and I'm not xD and I'm the youngest.. Then when asked why do i wanna undergo that procedure, "i just wanna know if i have hormonal imbalance" 

XD Anyways that's all free and I'm bored haha xD and free dildo insertion and finger yeah xD


----------



## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

Baloo23 said:


> It means I play rough and often. I have a dominant streak and sexually the only thing I won't indulge in involved blood or poop. So I'm versatile. Fantasies are meant to be explored and I have a good time when my partner experiences something new and has a great time.


I'm starting to understand why sexual compatibility is so important. I never really gave it much thought before. For me rough sex would be the exception instead of the rule. However *you *& @drmiller100 are like sexual Olympians, while I still don't know how to swim. :laughing: I now see why someone like _me _could frustrate someone like you, or how someone like _you _could overwhelm someone like me. I think somebody like @Catwalk would be more up to par with experts like you. :wink: I find going from 0 to 60 a little daunting.


----------



## Noctis (Apr 4, 2012)

atamagasuita said:


> One time, I'm bored and sexually frustrated for having not able to fuck a dick xD i don't have a vibrator that time... That i went to a doctor to have a full vaginal checkup. She fingered me.. And then i undergo another procedure where she put some dildo looking equipment on my vagina.. Ooh that felt good a lot xD and the lubes she put was sooooooo good smelling! That's all i think i kinda cum from that.. She's like rotating that dildo looking equipment in my vagina.. It's actually a vaginal xray xD
> 
> Haha. Good part is, the women I'm with those time are all pregnant and I'm not xD and I'm the youngest.. Then when asked why do i wanna undergo that procedure, "i just wanna know if i have hormonal imbalance"
> 
> XD Anyways that's all free and I'm bored haha xD and free dildo insertion and finger yeah xD


Haha! :laughing:


----------



## Baloo23 (Mar 1, 2016)

Mmmm said:


> I'm starting to understand why sexual compatibility is so important. I never really gave it much thought before. For me rough sex would be the exception instead of the rule. However *you *& @drmiller100 are like sexual Olympians, while I still don't know how to swim. :laughing: I now see why someone like _me _could frustrate someone like you, or how someone like _you _could overwhelm someone like me. I think somebody like @Catwalk would be more up to par with experts like you. :wink: I find going from 0 to 60 a little daunting.


I think you're confused on how these things work. It may seem daunting however no one comes to this place on their own. Experience level is irrelevant. When choosing a sexual partner for people like me, the real question is, are you open minded and interested in exploring your own sexuality? If you have a low sex drive and no real desire to explore what makes you happy sexually then that is where the issue comes in. Also everything is relative, I play rough but not nearly as rough as others, on a scale to 10, 0 being very standard vanilla sex, I'm a 3/4 in roughness. But I generally will play often, at least once a day sometimes twice. I know girls who are okay with once a week or biweekly and that would kill me. 

Besides sex is only 30% of the relationship. More important to be able to talk or enjoy each other's quiet company as sex will eventually fade with age.


----------



## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

Mmmm said:


> I'm starting to understand why sexual compatibility is so important. I never really gave it much thought before. For me rough sex would be the exception instead of the rule. However *you *& @drmiller100 are like sexual Olympians, while I still don't know how to swim. :laughing: I now see why someone like _me _could frustrate someone like you, or how someone like _you _could overwhelm someone like me. I think somebody like @Catwalk would be more up to par with experts like you. :wink: I find going from 0 to 60 a little daunting.


I am _not sure_ what you mean ... (??) Dominate males (&) I are usually highly incompatible. 

On that cue, sexuality =/= promiscuity + compatibility with (anyone) with (possible) similar characteristics. I am a diverse hobbyist; not a specialist.


----------



## Baloo23 (Mar 1, 2016)

Catwalk said:


> I am _not sure_ what you mean ... (??) Dominate males (&) I are usually highly incompatible.
> 
> On that cue, sexuality =/= promiscuity + compatibility with (anyone) with (possible) similar characteristics. I am a diverse hobbyist; not a specialist.


This is all very true. INTJ females and INTP males are often compatible in ideology but sexually no. Besides in relationships someone has to feel. She's like 7 of 9 to my Data. Huge nerd reference but its the only apt one I can think of. All the INTJ/INTP types I know are extremely sexually giving which also requires a receiver. Both require very little emotional feed back, works well when one of our type ends of with someone appreciative of feels who doesn't get them often. Societies misfits, probably why I date a lot of gothy nerdy types. Emotionally needy people are annoying other computer like people are fun for idea exchange not ideal for relationships, good friends, good relationship on paper. INTJ female and I in any social situation my friends immediately say, "I don't know what's going on with you two... You maybe should be together but you as a pair makes me feel uneasy, creepy."


----------



## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

Baloo23 said:


> This is all very true. INTJ females and INTP males are often compatible in ideology but sexually no. Besides in relationships someone has to feel. She's like 7 of 9 to my Data. Huge nerd reference but its the only apt one I can think of. All the INTJ/INTP types I know are extremely sexually giving which also requires a receiver. Both require very little emotional feed back, works well when one of our type ends of with someone appreciative of feels who doesn't get them often. Societies misfits, probably why I date a lot of gothy nerdy types. Emotionally needy people are annoying other computer like people are fun for idea exchange not ideal for relationships, good friends, good relationship on paper. INTJ female and I in any social situation my friends immediately say, "I don't know what's going on with you two... You maybe should be together but you as a pair makes me feel uneasy, creepy."


INTP males (& I are like a_ dynamic duo_. The most at ease; and flowing I felt was a INTP-male humanoid; until arguing occurs, then the ol' XNTJ comes out, and they get very irritated.


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## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

Baloo23 said:


> This is all very true. INTJ females and INTP males are often compatible in ideology but sexually no. Besides in relationships someone has to feel. She's like 7 of 9 to my Data. Huge nerd reference but its the only apt one I can think of. All the INTJ/INTP types I know are extremely sexually giving which also requires a receiver. Both require very little emotional feed back, works well when one of our type ends of with someone appreciative of feels who doesn't get them often. Societies misfits, probably why I date a lot of gothy nerdy types. Emotionally needy people are annoying other computer like people are fun for idea exchange not ideal for relationships, good friends, good relationship on paper. INTJ female and I in any social situation my friends immediately say, "I don't know what's going on with you two... You maybe should be together but you as a pair makes me feel uneasy, creepy."


This also remind(s) me; during a "humor" thread; it is likely I would only get (offensive) around INTP; since the rebound of content is often inappropriate; random (&) mindless talk -- about sensitive subjects, unfiltered -- without consideration of feelings/others emotions [I do not realize what I said is "mean"]; unless an (F)-type cuts in (&) points it out -- "_hey think of the children, you guys_". 

INTP (&) I are just having a good ol' time.


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## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

Catwalk said:


> I am _not sure_ what you mean ... (??) Dominate males (&) I are usually highly incompatible.
> 
> On that cue, sexuality =/= promiscuity + compatibility with (anyone) with (possible) similar characteristics. I am a diverse hobbyist; not a specialist.


I didn't mean anything by it, just that you are more experienced sexually than I am & less likely to be intimidated. :tongue:


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## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

Baloo23 said:


> This is all very true. INTJ females and INTP males are often compatible in ideology but sexually no. Besides in relationships someone has to feel. She's like 7 of 9 to my Data. Huge nerd reference but its the only apt one I can think of. All the INTJ/INTP types I know are extremely sexually giving which also requires a receiver. Both require very little emotional feed back, works well when one of our type ends of with someone appreciative of feels who doesn't get them often. Societies misfits, probably why I date a lot of gothy nerdy types. Emotionally needy people are annoying other computer like people are fun for idea exchange not ideal for relationships, good friends, good relationship on paper. INTJ female and I in any social situation my friends immediately say, "I don't know what's going on with you two... You maybe should be together but you as a pair makes me feel uneasy, creepy."


I agree completely. I need a feeler who can balance me. So we can have vanilla sex, & I can dominate _him _sometimes. I can't be submissive all the time.:kitteh:


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## Baloo23 (Mar 1, 2016)

Mmmm said:


> I agree completely. I need a feeler who can balance me. So we can have vanilla sex, & I can dominate _him _sometimes. I can't be submissive all the time.:kitteh:


You seem so timid for an INTJ. Perhaps you're different in person but you seem like you'd have a hard time dominating a kitten. No offense, just seem way reserved but everyone is different.


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## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

Baloo23 said:


> You seem so timid for an INTJ. Perhaps you're different in person but *you seem like you'd have a hard time dominating a kitten.* No offense, just seem way reserved but everyone is different.


This made me laugh! I am a reserved person, but more so with strangers. I'm not a timid person but in this subject I'm not very experienced so I ask a lot of questions. I appreciate a forum like this for that reason. That's why I like psychology because it helps me understand people better. I also try to be considerate of others because not everyone likes to share. So when someone is open to answering questions I pick their brain. 

Even though I'm a sexual novice I still have my own ideas of what I want/like. As a female thinker I do have a domineering side but not in the BDSM genera per say. I guess it depends on everyone's definition but to me that means I'm in control.


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## atamagasuita (May 15, 2016)

Fuk the word sex and frustration fuk ye


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## SolonsWarning (Jan 2, 2017)

atamagasuita said:


> Fuk the word sex and frustration fuk ye


You're weird.


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## atamagasuita (May 15, 2016)

SolonsWarning said:


> You're weird.


I'm a scrooge mode this time. Hormonal imbalance you know.


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## SolonsWarning (Jan 2, 2017)

atamagasuita said:


> I'm a scrooge mode this time. Hormonal imbalance you know.


No, I don't know because I'm a man and don't have imbalances.


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## atamagasuita (May 15, 2016)

SolonsWarning said:


> No, I don't know because I'm a man and don't have imbalances.


Yeah. Try to be a woman. It's actually fun, you got mood swings 2 weeks after your mens(that lasts 1 week), and 1 week during your mens.  

So when you're a girl youre two weeks normal, and two weeks narcotic


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## SolonsWarning (Jan 2, 2017)

atamagasuita said:


> So when you're a girl youre two weeks normal, and two weeks narcotic


More like two weeks crazy and two weeks double crazy.


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## SolonsWarning (Jan 2, 2017)

Fucking double post.


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## atamagasuita (May 15, 2016)

SolonsWarning said:


> Fucking double post.


Hahahahaha xD yeah omgeez xD hate my reproductive organs


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## Baloo23 (Mar 1, 2016)

Mmmm said:


> This made me laugh! I am a reserved person, but more so with strangers. I'm not a timid person but in this subject I'm not very experienced so I ask a lot of questions. I appreciate a forum like this for that reason. That's why I like psychology because it helps me understand people better. I also try to be considerate of others because not everyone likes to share. So when someone is open to answering questions I pick their brain.
> 
> Even though I'm a sexual novice I still have my own ideas of what I want/like. As a female thinker I do have a domineering side but not in the BDSM genera per say. I guess it depends on everyone's definition but to me that means I'm in control.


BDSM is weird, the reality is no one is really in control. Its a shared partnership. The sub sets, rules, limits and types of play. The dom just chooses the order of play and which items on the list go into effect at which times. For true control you need a Master/Slave dynamic and I hate those. I'm so passive in everyday life, I can't micromanage someone else's crap. 

Maybe the INTJs I know are weird or maybe you're the one off. I guess it depends... Like the INTJs I know understand people very well and enjoy those who are more difficult to understand as puzzles. Being considerate is something I would never accuse any of them of. Generally they're aware of the emotional impact they may have but don't care how it effects others. They're like machines that drain every drop of emotion out another person till they get bored and throw them away like human juice boxes. I have a surprising amount of INTJ friends and the females scare me, emotionally way too calculating for me. My emotions are limited so I guard them well against most of them.

I tried once and I think it may have scared me for life on INTJ females lol.


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## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

Baloo23 said:


> BDSM is weird, the reality is no one is really in control. Its a shared partnership. The sub sets, rules, limits and types of play. The dom just chooses the order of play and which items on the list go into effect at which times. For true control you need a Master/Slave dynamic and I hate those. I'm so passive in everyday life, I can't micromanage someone else's crap.
> 
> Maybe the INTJs I know are weird or maybe you're the one off. I guess it depends... Like the INTJs I know understand people very well and enjoy those who are more difficult to understand as puzzles. Being considerate is something I would never accuse any of them of. Generally they're aware of the emotional impact they may have but don't care how it effects others. They're like machines that drain every drop of emotion out another person till they get bored and throw them away like human juice boxes. I have a surprising amount of INTJ friends and the females scare me, emotionally way too calculating for me. My emotions are limited so I guard them well against most of them.
> 
> I tried once and I think it may have scared me for life on INTJ females lol.


Huh yeah I'm not like that at all but it could depend on a lot of things. Environment, upbringing, culture, career, etc... And of course individuality comes into play with any type. I hate confrontation but that seems to be a common thing among the INTJs I've talked to. 

I was actually in collections for over a decade & had to deal with irate people every day so I got pretty good at calming people down. After all you can't reason with someone in a heightened emotional state. Customer service has been a part of my secular life since I started working so I have gotten a lot of practice dealing with people. As the saying goes, you get more bees with honey than you do with vinegar. Trick of the trade I guess. 

Growing up with two extroverted parents also helped to teach me about how we should treat others. It was drilled into me to "smile". So I naturally smile all the time, it doesn't mean I'm happy, it's just a reflex most of the time. I can be personable & even charismatic when I want to. Interpersonal skills I learned which have helped me manage in a world filled with people. So only those close to me get to experience the real me, & even then it's compartmentalized.


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## HermioneG (Jul 1, 2015)

Baloo23 said:


> Maybe the INTJs I know are weird or maybe you're the one off. I guess it depends... Like the INTJs I know understand people very well and enjoy those who are more difficult to understand as puzzles. Being considerate is something I would never accuse any of them of. Generally they're aware of the emotional impact they may have but don't care how it effects others. They're like machines that drain every drop of emotion out another person till they get bored and throw them away like human juice boxes. I have a surprising amount of INTJ friends and the females scare me, emotionally way too calculating for me. My emotions are limited so I guard them well against most of them.
> 
> I tried once and I think it may have scared me for life on INTJ females lol.


I'm an INTJ female. I enjoy puzzles - especially puzzling people. I am extremely considerate. I am not terribly aware of other's emotions, but I care about them very much. I don't like to hurt feelings. I don't like anyone feeling left out or upset with my actions. I follow rules, I ask questions, I take people at their word. If I ask you how you feel and you tell me the truth I can work with that. If I ask you and you lie, I will go with what you tell me.. if my actions result in your hurt feelings because you weren't truthful then it is on you. I still feel bad about it.. but I know it isn't my fault. 

I have an opportunity to experiment with BDSM with an INTP male. We're friends. He's quiet and kinda creepy but I totally dig it. My one D/s relationship was with an ISTP and it was fantastic. It really brought out the feels for both of us. My relationships so far with feelers have been terribly frustrating. Maybe I'm just picking the wrong ones. I have a "date" today with a new guy. I don't have him typed yet but I'm pretty sure he's a feeler. We'll see...


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

Mmmm said:


> I'm starting to understand why sexual compatibility is so important. I never really gave it much thought before. For me rough sex would be the exception instead of the rule. However *you *& @*drmiller100* are like sexual Olympians, while I still don't know how to swim. :laughing: I now see why someone like _me _could frustrate someone like you, or how someone like _you _could overwhelm someone like me. I think somebody like @*Catwalk* would be more up to par with experts like you. :wink: I find going from 0 to 60 a little daunting.


I've played with a few ladies. I'm still not great, but I do want to enjoy every experience with every person.

I've got a healthy dose of Fe, which in this context for me means I enjoy learning what makes the lady happy. Often (usually?) together we find something she really likes that she didn't know she liked. 

That is REALLY cool to me. I've played with ladies who have slept with a fair number of guys, and ladies who have had very limited sexual encounters. 

There is a "smell" or chemistry which makes it wild, or good, or I don't get into bed with her. It really doesn't matter what you have done in the past, what matters is what WE want to do now!

I'm more sensual than impact. I'm comfortable as a Dom, not as a sub. I demand consent, and that is not trivial, because to fully consent, you have to know what you are consenting to. 

Which takes time and communication, which is worth it.


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

HermioneG said:


> I'm an INTJ female. I enjoy puzzles - especially puzzling people. I am extremely considerate. I am not terribly aware of other's emotions, but I care about them very much. I don't like to hurt feelings. I don't like anyone feeling left out or upset with my actions. I follow rules, I ask questions, I take people at their word. If I ask you how you feel and you tell me the truth I can work with that. If I ask you and you lie, I will go with what you tell me.. if my actions result in your hurt feelings because you weren't truthful then it is on you. I still feel bad about it.. but I know it isn't my fault.
> 
> ..


I have quite a few INTJ acquaintances and this is truly how the self aware ones feel. 

They APPEAR from the outside to be really good at reading people, and understanding them, but if you ask them, they reply like this, and when you look a bit closer, the INTJ is not NEARLY as good at understanding people as any of the NF's.


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

Baloo23 said:


> BDSM is weird, the reality is no one is really in control. Its a shared partnership. The sub sets, rules, limits and types of play. The dom just chooses the order of play and which items on the list go into effect at which times. For true control you need a Master/Slave dynamic and I hate those. I'm so passive in everyday life, I can't micromanage someone else's crap.
> 
> .


The first part of what you describe is what I consider Topping, or being a Top, usually related to being in a scene.

For true control, I suppose I agree with Master/slave. I abhor that. I've ruined a few slaves. Hope to ruin some more.

There is indeed a huge area in the middle. D/s to me is about POWER. A sub worth having consents, and has a strong personality, and CHOOSES to consent. 

I'm a Dom who almost never punishes. I'm not into impact play unless she wants to. None the less, I've earned the submission of a few great ladies. I have no desire to control them, or anything about them outside the bedroom.


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## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

@*drmiller100* What do you call it when I want to tie my partner's hands, blindfold him, & have my way with him? I don't want to hurt him, on the contrary. I would like to tease him a little, make him squirm, before blowing his mind. It's a fun fantasy I want to try.

Edit: On second thought I better tie up his legs too, I don't want to get kneed in the face. :tongue:


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

Mmmm said:


> @*drmiller100* What do you call it when I want to tie my partner's hands, blindfold him, & have my way with him? I don't want to hurt him, on the contrary. I would like to tease him a little, make him squirm, before blowing his mind. It's a fun fantasy I want to try.


depends. 

if it is just a light, fun experience where the blindfold makes it an enhanced sensory experience, that is topping.

If you tie someone up and beat the fuck out of them with a flogger and they love the sensual experience, and even enjoy the endorphins and the release from the physical world, that is still topping.


If the person you are tying up wants to give up control, their power, and let you take over so they can enjoy letting you be the leader and person who makes the decisions, then that is getting towards the D/s.

it is about head space.


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## Baloo23 (Mar 1, 2016)

HermioneG said:


> I'm an INTJ female. I enjoy puzzles - especially puzzling people. I am extremely considerate. I am not terribly aware of other's emotions, but I care about them very much. I don't like to hurt feelings. I don't like anyone feeling left out or upset with my actions. I follow rules, I ask questions, I take people at their word. If I ask you how you feel and you tell me the truth I can work with that. If I ask you and you lie, I will go with what you tell me.. if my actions result in your hurt feelings because you weren't truthful then it is on you. I still feel bad about it.. but I know it isn't my fault.


Yes, I experienced this with the INTJ female I got mildly involved with, however she was quite the liar. I told her early on, don't invade my personal space with hugs or affection or tell me anything about your feelings because I feel that I could easily develop my own. She agreed then proceeded to violate this request at every turn. Then when I told her I had developed deeper feelings as a result of her violations she told me, "your feelings are your own to resolve I have nothing to do with them." Eventually I completely threw her out of my life, I would not allow someone to manipulate my feelings then call me out on being weak for having them. I had always been extremely forgiving in the past but for some reason she igniting the ability in me to completely turn my back on someone. To ensure I would never forgive her I blocked her phone number and social media contacts then deleted them all to never find again. I'm not sure how I would react if she showed up to my door to apologize, though I doubt she would ever. I still have an overwhelming feeling of hatred.

Not only due to how she treated me, I can get past that... It's how I saw her treat other people manipulating their feelings, knowing that her involvement with them would lead to heart break. She involved herself with them knowing she would leave as soon as she got what she wanted. I don't think anyone should have to deal with people like her and I truly to this day believe she was a sociopath.


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## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

So I had to give myself a little self love today before being surrounded by testosterone, & watching men running around in tight pants. :frustrating:


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## Ultio (Nov 22, 2016)

Mmmm said:


> So I had to give myself a little self love today before being surrounded by testosterone, & watching men running around in tight pants. :frustrating:












YAAASSS!! Bring on the ladies!


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## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

Ultio said:


> YAAASSS!! Bring on the ladies!


*Work it! *:wink:


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## BereavedBlissfulness (Dec 10, 2016)

(Audrey Kawasaki)







(Zoe Lacchei)


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## atamagasuita (May 15, 2016)

日本語を練習しよう❗

先輩は私に「土曜日に学校にいったんですね(^^)　何をしましたか？」と聞きました。それをうそですから、私は「寂しくなったので、マスをしました。」と返事したい。むしろ、「勉強した」と返事しました。

悪い文法、ごめんね❗気にしない。( ￣▽￣)


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## Asity (May 12, 2014)

I would like to feel sexually excited, and that kind of makes me excited, although there's no where to direct it. Damn.


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## HermioneG (Jul 1, 2015)

I've recently listened to two audio books. 

Not Your Mother's Rules: The New Secrets for Dating - tips on how to not be easy, lure and snag the perfect husband. 

and

The Ethical Slut - A guide to polyamory and whoring around in a perfectly acceptable way.

I find the contrast kind of hilarious and ironic, but also very appropriate for my current situation. I want to find and snag the perfect partner who wants to grow old and whore around with me. Is that so wrong?


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

I thought the ethical slut was pretty good.

I'm trying poly again. it is pretty cool when it works.


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## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)

HermioneG said:


> Not Your Mother's Rules: The New Secrets for Dating - tips on how to not be easy, lure and snag the perfect husband.


Oh, the counter-productivity method will continue to fail so many people. No wonder I'm having craptacular successes in even getting dates.

I'm gorgeous, astounding, stunning, nice, hardworking and LAZY. Be hard to get and I will interpret that at face-value. :tongue:


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## BereavedBlissfulness (Dec 10, 2016)

Just felt like this needed to be shared. Oh my Vietnam...xD
*Yeah dun chokah on dat ding dong haneeeeey *


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## Asity (May 12, 2014)

Yeah, so all these sexual thoughts kept me up last night, until long after I should've been asleep, and the worst thing is that dealing with it myself just didn't suffice. I need to invest in tools.


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## Introvertia (Feb 6, 2016)

It's strange (and frustrating) how I can't get an orgasm from masturbation, despite of practice and focus.

When it comes to sex, the act itself (intercourse) is not particularly pleasant. It's not painful either. It's tedious. I've not enjoyed it or had orgasms from it but I've engaged in it only in order to please my previous partners. 

However, the best orgasms I've ever had were the result of something completely different that (I think) many people would find tedious in return. 


* *




I could have an orgasm easily if a man simply laid on top of me, applying most of his body's weight against me, but without any motion, for a certain period of time. I'm thinking the magic theme with me is simply heavy pressure that has nothing to do with genitals directly, but the whole body. 

I've noticed if someone hugs me softly, it feels repugnant and I push them away. If someone hugs me tightly, it's both calming and arousing. It's the reason why I only choose to hug the person I'm with and not others - not friends or family. It feels too intimate with other than partner. I'd be easy and dull to please for a partner (if only I had one).


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## Marvin the Dendroid (Sep 10, 2015)

Mmmm said:


> You with the Kleenex, & me with the batteries, we are keeping big companies in business because of our self-love. :laughing:


It is rather funny how in the world of certain needs, production continues unabated even when supply and demand fail to meet.


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## Marvin the Dendroid (Sep 10, 2015)

pwowq said:


> Good necro!
> Since starting on anti-depp medicine I've had erectile problems. No problem getting erect, lots of problems staying erect. So a typical sex-session is mentally challenging for me going in cycles between semi-hard and almost-hard.
> 
> Being horny AF and not hard is frustrating. It's physically limiting. A slack cock is hard to use in many interesting positions.
> ...


You do still get horny though? Interesting - I don't really when I'm depressed, though I've only tried anti-depressants briefly (didn't work for me). At least not to the point where I'd be willing to consider anything more demanding than the odd wank. I need to be in a decent place to want a woman. The depressed version of me doesn't suffer from an overflow of boners.


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## Wisteria (Apr 2, 2015)

^When I had depression my sex drive was really high. Taking anti depressants (which boosts serotonin) have the opposite effect. They make me more content and less horny.

Right now i'm resisting the temptation to text them. I actually want him here, because apparently I hate myself idk. I really need to find somebody else to hook up with.


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## daleks_exterminate (Jul 22, 2013)

I recently went on dexamphetamine for ADHD. It's helping the adhd, but dear fucking god. I'm sexually frustrated and having sex at least 5 times a week. Usually more. Sometimes more than once a day.

At least I'm married to someone that likes sex. Otherwise, I'd probably be in my room touching myself for 4-6 hours (and still accomplish more than I used to...)


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## Wulver (Sep 4, 2016)

I'm beginning to wonder if I need to a manual to figure out how to lose my virginity. The idea of casual sex doesn't do anything for me so FWB is out and I didn't get that far in my two actual relationships. This should not be that hard. 

Bleh maybe I'm being too stingy about it.


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## Wisteria (Apr 2, 2015)

Fable Wolf said:


> I'm beginning to wonder if I need to a manual to figure out how to lose my virginity. The idea of casual sex doesn't do anything for me so FWB is out and I didn't get that far in my two actual relationships. This should not be that hard.
> 
> Bleh maybe I'm being too stingy about it.


Ask someone out


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## Wisteria (Apr 2, 2015)

Feeling horny after a "break up" is the absolute worst. Never felt so helpless, and doing it myself just isn't the same anymore. 

Btw he left me for someone else haha . Can't believe I fell for such a piece of shit.


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## Wulver (Sep 4, 2016)

Wisteria said:


> Ask someone out


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

I'm certainly frustrated lately, both sexually and otherwise. At least it's appropriate enough now that I'm on my period, feeling both miserable and horny.  And preferable to feeling dead inside, but it's a precarious balance as well.


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