# What's Your Attitude Towards Relationships?



## Belladonne (Mar 22, 2014)

I mean non-platonic ones, btw  Do you believe in love? Not believe in love? Do you find it harder/easier to find a relationship? Are you picky about partners?

It would be interesting to see if there are any similarities in the way NTs approach finding (or not bothering to look for, possibly not even wanting!) a partner. :tongue:


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## 682 (May 13, 2014)

I am rather ambivalent towards the matter.

Love is a passing thing. Relationships are suffocating. People are annoying. 

As I am female it is easier to fall into a relationship (a double edged sword as fools question the lack of a partner). 

All I require of my significant other is to preserve themselves and give me space. 

(I'm an NT, but the current choices do not allow me to select what I believe is most appropriate)


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I very much have a romantic side its just not romantic in terms of novelty and sentimental type of things. So anyways I have a sweet spot that would love to be in love with the right person. 

That said its not uncommon for me to laugh at romantic cliches. 

I also as I have stated numerous times on this forum already have no interest in being in love for the sake of loving the idea of love or a relationship. I guess I consider myself the ultimate "true" romantic even over the cliche norm of romantics because I happen to want something genuine and real. So I refuse to settle. When I say settle I don't mean in terms of a generic checklist. I just mean that there has to be undeniable mutual love. So for now I am single as I am well aware that the most miserable day being single isn't nearly as miserable as the mediocre day with the wrong person. 

I have been deeply in love so I know that is achievable. I just would like it to be a compatible match combined with undeniable mutual affection. 

I am fine being single.
And I am fine being in love.


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## Calpan1832 (Oct 19, 2013)

*Touchy Touchy*



Belladonne said:


> Do you believe in love?


Yes, I shared my definition sometime ago for someone:

"Love for me is a very sacred emotion, its just not in physical attraction, showering flowers, saying only the romantic things. The color of love generates from within and it fills up your very being. It's not in receiving, It's when you feel good, happy and don't even realize that you are giving.
Love for me is not the trust on my partner. It's my trust in myself that I have put in you."



Belladonne said:


> Do you find it harder/easier to find a relationship? Are you picky about partners?


Really very hard for me to connect with someone, as there are so many things to think before I make a move. All this things have a huge toll on my mental, emotional and physical state. Everytime I get out of my situation. I will be drained and pretty pissed off at myself. That logically make me picky about partners. 




Belladonne said:


> It would be interesting to see if there are any similarities in the way NTs approach finding (or not bothering to look for, possibly not even wanting!) a partner. :tongue:


 I found this video pretty much sum-up my approach,


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## RandomNote (Apr 10, 2013)

I see them as something that looks nice but is also a pain in the neck too. Kinda want one but also kinda dont as well.


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## CCCXXIX (Mar 11, 2011)

Belladonne said:


> Do you believe in love?


Yeah.



> Do you find it harder/easier to find a relationship?


It's cake. 



> Are you picky about partners?


Yeah.


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## geekofalltrades (Feb 8, 2012)

Meh.

I've been in a handful of relationships, fallen in love a couple times, and it's nothing I can't live without. And frankly, my life is a lot simpler and just as fulfilling without a romantic partner.

If a lover comes along and falls in my lap, I'll consider pursuing things, but I see no reason to go and actively seek one out.


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## starscream430 (Jan 14, 2014)

I personally want to find a relationship eventually, but there is too much going on in my life to really dedicate the time necessary to cultivate such a desire. I am also quite picky when it comes to a relationship because I want to find somebody that we (meaning me and the significant other) can both enjoy in regards to company and hobbies.


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## DeductiveReasoner (Feb 25, 2011)

I honestly don't find people I'm attracted to all that often. It just doesn't happen. I don't believe in "soul mates" so to speak. That idea is just lazy and its so much easier to say "well we weren't meant to be" than it is to actually work on the relationship.

That being said, I would like to get married one day, for the sake of companionship. 

(and way way WAAY deep down I might be sort of a hopeless romantic and if any of you tell anybody i swear to god...)


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## diamond_mouth (May 17, 2014)

I avoid them but only because my feelings have never been that strong towards the other person and I just can't go for it if I don't see it lasting long term. If I can see that a potential relationship has a negative foundation to begin with then I just won't bother because if/when it ends I don't want to have walk away not having gained anything. If you know that both of you can grow from it then surely a relationship is a worthy investment.. but finding this kind of dynamic is rare thing


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

On one hand I do want to be with someone and have the fun and the stuff because I only have one life to do that and it feels like if I don't I would have missed a large opportunity. On the other hand the relationships around me appear to be unhealthly to some extent and include irrational decision making thanks to "love". Some relationships are overly controlling, I want to be in and out because without out how can I enjoy myself? I also don't want to cut myself off from my friends and be cautious around them to avoid ruining my relationship. I feel like that's what my friend is doing but maybe my POV has it exaggerated a little. According to his girlfriend's friends he acts like an asshole around them. I wouldn't want to be him myself. I wouldn't follow my girlfriend into her little group of girl friends. I don't want to become a girl in the process if you know what I'm saying. I would like to retain my own male friends without being forced into the relationships of my partner all day long.


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## Octavarium (Nov 27, 2012)

Having a relationship might be nice, but I'd rather be single than in a relationship where one or both of us was unhappy, so I'm not desperate for one by any means, or even actively looking for one. If I find someone I love, and who loves me, that's great, and I hope it does happen at some point, but I'm not going to force it. I can live with being single. Besides, I'd only be interested in a relationship that was likely to last for the long term. I guess I'm reluctant to actively look for a relationship because I'd want it to be with someone who's actually interested in me, and who's got to know me, not just someone who was looking for a relationship with anyone. I wouldn't want to have sex if there wasn't already some kind of commitment there (but, on the other hand, I think waiting until marriage is generally a bad idea), though that's more of a personal preference than a moral value; I don't disapprove of people who are more casual about sex than I am, as long as it's between consenting adults and they've thought about the possibility of pregnancy and STDs.


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## Bugs (May 13, 2014)

Belladonne said:


> I mean non-platonic ones, btw  Do you believe in love? Not believe in love? Do you find it harder/easier to find a relationship? Are you picky about partners?
> 
> It would be interesting to see if there are any similarities in the way NTs approach finding (or not bothering to look for, possibly not even wanting!) a partner. :tongue:


Yeah I believe in love. Why not? I find it hard to fine relationships that count as 'in love' maybe just because I'm closed off to my feelings about myself ( not others). I could be picky about partners depending on how serious I want to get. If I want a serious relationship where I can fall in love then I have to be stimulated pretty much in all ways , intellectually , sexually , and someone that can tap into my feelings that I even have a hard time knowing, lol. It's not that I'm guarded on purpose but I'm not very vulnerable often either. If she can take down my guard with little to no effort then I know something might be worth exploring there


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## aaronjohnston (Apr 5, 2014)

As an INTP I was long for a relationship where someone can show me they love me through affection and care. I'm not demanding in the sense but I must feel a connection and feel like there is something worth my time in the relationship. 

Communication, honesty and my partner appreciating my love for them is what I need in a solid relationship. Of course being INTP I need time alone to think and recharge, which I hate to be honest. I want to be opposite of that sometimes. 

Sent from my GT-N7100 using Tapatalk


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## VIIZZY (Mar 22, 2014)

1. Do you believe in love? Not believe in love?

I believe in it but I don't really romanticize it like others, it's not as great as people make it seem basically. 

2. Do you find it harder/easier to find a relationship? 

When I bother to actively pursue a relationship it's easy. 

3. Are you picky about partners?

Very picky, trust is an absolute must for me and my trust isn't easily won over. I'm not picky about appearances and frivolous things however.


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## Calpan1832 (Oct 19, 2013)

VIIZZY said:


> 1. Do you believe in love? Not believe in love?
> 
> I believe in it but I don't really romanticize it like others, it's not as great as people make it seem basically.
> 
> ...


joining date Mar 2014 and You are a VIP Member. Something is cooking ??
Disclaimer: I am trying to be humorous, issued in public interest, Please ignore if it does not make sense.


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## VIIZZY (Mar 22, 2014)

Calpan1832 said:


> joining date Mar 2014 and You are a VIP Member. Something is cooking ??
> Disclaimer: I am trying to be humorous, issued in public interest, Please ignore if it does not make sense.


I actively posted to get to VIP member; game forum mostly.


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## Frenetic Tranquility (Aug 5, 2011)

Cinnamon83:6405794 said:


> I also as I have stated numerous times on this forum already have no interest in being in love for the sake of loving the idea of love or a relationship. I guess I consider myself the ultimate "true" romantic even over the cliche norm of romantics because I happen to want something genuine and real. So I refuse to settle. When I say settle I don't mean in terms of a generic checklist. I just mean that there has to be undeniable mutual love. So for now I am single as I am well aware that the most miserable day being single isn't nearly as miserable as the mediocre day with the wrong person.


Does anyone actually say "I want something that isn't real or genuine", or want it? Is the opposite a rationalization?


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## Calpan1832 (Oct 19, 2013)

VIIZZY said:


> I actively posted to get to VIP member; game forum mostly.


:laughing:... Whats next


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## VIIZZY (Mar 22, 2014)

Calpan1832 said:


> :laughing:... Whats next


*shrugs* I'll figure something out.


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