# How to prove/know for sure you're ugly?



## Arya (Oct 17, 2012)

I don't think I've really seen someone who had facial features I thought were ugly. I will say that I find unhealthy traits, such as people who are overweight or who have really bad acne to be a bit unattractive, but that's just me. People are wired to look for signs of health in potential partners. Beauty is way too subjective aside from that. If a person looks healthy and happy, they're facial features etc., generally look fine. I've never looked at a guy or girl before and thought he has such an ugly nose or eye shape, which is the sort of thing people love to complain about. Or hair or jaw line or any of that. I sometimes also think it's a bit unattractive when a woman is wearing a lot of make-up. It doesn't look right to me. I might also think someone's style of dressing is terrible, but I really can't think that I've ever thought someone looked unattractive, unless they looked extremely unhealthy. And that's usually fixable. I will say that finding people attractive is very different from being attracted to them though. I might find the majority of guys attractive, but only be attracted to a few.


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## U-80 (Mar 12, 2010)

If young children either laugh or cry at the sight of you, I think that would be fairly conclusive.

Other than that, you can't tell much from the way people treat you. You never know if they're responding to something about your appearance or your personality, or if it's just a quirk of their own behavior.


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## quickkiss (Jun 26, 2013)

did you watch beauty and the beast when you were little? if you hadn't the point of the story is there is an ugly, gross and scary monster that lived in a castle. then a girl somehow gets to know this beast and falls in love with him because she saw the good inside of him. in the end his ugly appearance vanishes because the ugliness he kept inside was replaced with love. 

point is true beauty is on the inside, and any person with whom you'd want to be in a relationship with would not only see that but also your beauty on the outside. you are unique, and lovely in your own way. there is no standard to which you should hold that uniqueness. what you see in ads and tv shows, it's all faked, primed and cleaned up to make the impossible seem like a reality. don't be fooled dear, and it's not worth your time either to let yourself be hurt by people who boost their ego by tearing down yours. 

i'll leave you with these thoughts that helped me comes to terms with my own appearance: "beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder" and "confidence is brings out the beauty that is on the inside and let's it shine for all to see"

See Why We Have An Absolutely Ridiculous Standard Of Beauty In Just 37 Seconds


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## U-80 (Mar 12, 2010)

quickkiss said:


> did you watch beauty and the beast when you were little? if you hadn't the point of the story is there is an ugly, gross and scary monster that lived in a castle.


So you're saying the monster _was_ physically ugly, objectively speaking. That's what the question was about: what makes you so sure he was ugly, and how could he know for sure. He could probably tell from reading people's reactions to him that they found him repulsive to look at, or maybe he could see it for himself by looking in a mirror. The point is, there's an objective scale of physical beauty and ugliness. It doesn't count for much in terms of human worth, but it certainly exists. Even your fairy tale says so.

The problem that some moderately ugly people face is that they can't tell how bad they really look to others. Knowing more or less how we appear to others is a big factor in how we behave towards them, so it can be confusing.


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## quickkiss (Jun 26, 2013)

Era said:


> So you're saying the monster _was_ physically ugly, objectively speaking. That's what the question was about: what makes you so sure he was ugly, and how could he know for sure. He could probably tell from reading people's reactions to him that they found him repulsive to look at, or maybe he could see it for himself by looking in a mirror. The point is, there's an objective scale of physical beauty and ugliness. It doesn't count for much in terms of human worth, but it certainly exists. Even your fairy tale says so.
> 
> The problem that some moderately ugly people face is that they can't tell how bad they really look to others. Knowing more or less how we appear to others is a big factor in how we behave towards them, so it can be confusing.


guess you didn't watch the movie. he was a handsome prince. a witch came knocking on his door. she disguised herself and asked for a form of payment for a rose. he turned her down because he was selfish and mean. so she turned him into a beast to make his outside appearance match his ugly feelings on the inside. the spell and can only be broken if he manages to change and get someone to love him, which he did with help. 

so to answer your question yes he knew he was ugly, but he was only ugly because that's what he thought he was. he idenitified with that beast and only saw the beast. it was an illusion, magic, and his ugliness went away as soon as he became a better person. so if his ugliness wasn't real why should it matter what other people think of you or how they rate you. 

you can't change your appearance in real life like like the prince did, but that doesn't mean you have to measure yourself to someone else's standards. there is no objective scale for measuring beauty unless you make one for yourself and others. you only hurt yourself by doing that or you're lower than filth if you do it to others. 

judging how someone looks is not your place or anyone else. so don't undermine my efforts to comfort this girl. because if you really think there are ugly people on this planet and you're going to judge them without getting to know them, then you're not helping. trust me. i've been in this girls position, and she needs to accept herself. so having her rate herself or having other rate her is nothing more than an open playing field for bullying. 

i've never met an ugly person; i've only met people with ugly thoughts like there is some definable scale for measuring how appealing your look to others. disgusting.


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## Acerbusvenator (Apr 12, 2011)

isingthebodyelectric said:


> This may be a hard subject to describe but how can one know for sure they're ugly/people generally don't find them attractive?
> 
> Is it how people treat you? I would be interested to know...thanks.


Ever wondered why even people who are incredibly malformed seem to have people that find them attractive?
There's no objectively ugly people. Everyone is extremely attractive to someone else.
My personal experience is that self-esteem and media (this actually goes for guys as well) makes it a lot harder for people to accept this and even makes them miss people who are flirting with them or react defensively.

What people are mainly interested in when seeking a serious relationship is someone they share interests with, but especially feel like they can converse with and enjoy doing so.
If someone isn't attracted to you, this is far more likely the cause than physical appearance. Which means you should be happy that they aren't attracted to you.  Otherwise it would be harder to find the diamonds among the rocks.


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