# Instinctual stackings and the impression you make



## aconite (Mar 26, 2012)

Sx-first individuals are said to strongly repel or attract others. I did notice this about myself, but more often than not, I'm not fully aware of how I affect people around me. I can sense if a person I talk to is attracted to me or not, but I fail to recognise the impact I make on others as a whole. I mean, when I'm told how easily can I charm (or disgust) people, my reaction is usually... "huh, really?".

And why? Well, I suppose that the reason is that I'm So-last. (Although I suspect 3s are very good at that regardless of their stacking).

Alright, guys, what is your stacking and what is the impression you make on people? Can you recognise it?


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## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

It's *so *funny, I was just telling @knittigan the other day that while I'm aware of the chemistry between me and people and how I affect them, this tends to happen mainly when I'm intensely interested in the person & so fully aware of such things - *because I'm attracted to them myself*. In these cases, since I'm completely focused on them, I can notice just how I'm coming across. On the other hand, when someone just randomly comes up to me and tells me that I'm intense, or charismatic or that I stand out, my first reaction is: "..Really?"

I suppose it's because I don't feel like I intentionally try to draw people in unless I'm attracted to them (not necessarily romantically), so when I feel like I have that effect on people regardless, it's surprising to me. It also might have to do with the fact that I don't see myself as intense. I'm just.. me. I can't call myself intense because that's like my baseline, lol.


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## Kito (Jan 6, 2012)

I'm more like a neutral presence to others. It's like a silent deal that I won't do any harm if they make sure to do the same.


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## Inguz (Mar 10, 2012)

How can I know the impression I make on others if I'm not them?


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## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

Inguz said:


> How can I know the impression I make on others if I'm not them?


While that is true, aren't you slightly more aware of your effect on someone when you're into them? I find that I can tell very easily when the connection is _just _right, and if they are responding positively to me. It helps me alter my behavior, and know if my 'approach' is the right one.

Or maybe I'm just an image type, and so generally hyper-aware of how I come across :tongue:


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## staticmud (Jun 28, 2012)

I'm sx/so.
From what my closest friends tell me, I'm charismatic, confident, and intense, but equally polarizing. For every person who thinks I'm the best thing since the wheel, someone else believes that I'm a drain on society/a jerk/the antichrist. It's not hard for me to tell who falls into which category, even when I've never actually met them and they're just in the same vicinity as me. Also, when I meet people, I have a tendency to get into deep conversations with them and we each feel like we've known the other for a year after ten minutes. They tell me that I'm one of the most interesting and engaging people they've ever met. I've heard more than once that they feel comfortable talking to me about anything, even though we hardly know each other. 
But I also hear (almost always through the grapevine) that a lot of people think I'm too bold, forward, and controversial. I even heard once that I was "too confident for a woman".

In short, I'm charismatic and intense, but very polarizing. I'm also able to easily recognize what other people think of me and how I'm affecting them.


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## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

Kito said:


> I'm more like a neutral presence to others. It's like a silent deal that I won't do any harm if they make sure to do the same.


I don't know Kito, you do tend to stand out in your own little way. You have that "I'm in my own little world" vibe that makes others (or at least me) just want to yank you out of it :laughing:


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## Kito (Jan 6, 2012)

kaleidoscope said:


> I don't know Kito, you do tend to stand out in your own little way. You have that "I'm in my own little world" vibe that makes others (or at least me) just want to yank you out of it :laughing:


Aw, I don't know whether that's good or not but I like it ^^

With you, it feels like you're pulling people into YOUR world. :laughing:


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## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

Kito said:


> Aw, I don't know whether that's good or not but I like it ^^
> 
> With you, it feels like you're pulling people into YOUR world. :laughing:


Totally a good thing ^^ 

I think we just nailed the major difference between Sp/Sx and Sx/Sp :laughing:


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## Curiously (Nov 7, 2011)

I'm sp/sx (so could tie with sx depending on context). Being sp-dom, I tend to give people an impression that I'm reserved. That's what many have stated before. Even if I appear approachable, people have expressed that I seem a bit removed, almost enigmatic. I can gather why people get this impression from me. I'd much rather take "reserved" than "arrogant" or "standoffish", which have been other terms people have used about me. As a sp-dom, I really don't ever merge with anyone; I am my own island, and you are yours.


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## Inguz (Mar 10, 2012)

kaleidoscope said:


> While that is true, aren't you slightly more aware of your effect on someone when you're into them? I find that I can tell very easily when the connection is _just _right, and if they are responding positively to me. It helps me alter my behavior, and know if my 'approach' is the right one.
> 
> Or maybe I'm just an image type, and so generally hyper-aware of how I come across :tongue:


More yes, I see how they react because I stick around to see it more. Sure I can see how something come across, but I still don't find that I know what impression I make. At the same time, that I'm not aware very aware of it has allowed me to not care about it as much either, if someone I don't like doesn't like me. To me it feels more like trying to put down a puzzle of how people act, talk and react around me.

And I'm Sx/So.


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## voicetrocity (Mar 31, 2012)

I seem to come off as very "welcoming" in person and, apparently, trustworthy as well. I tend to know people's life stories within a few minutes of meeting them. I seriously had someone come into my place of work and spend the last twenty minutes before closing telling me about their car problems, family problems and every other single problem they could think of. Actually, it's more like people expect me to advocate for them- people tell me their problems. Patrons of my work try to butter me up all the f-in time to help them out- I hear _"Oh, you're so nice, I know you'll take care of me"_ so much it's amusing. I'm genuinely nice; but please, my generosity isn't up for sale. 

I've seen my share of surprised glances from people once they realize I will say "no" and be quite blunt at times.


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## leafling (Dec 15, 2011)

I'm not sure of my instinctual variants, I'm just fairly sure I'm an sp-dom. Maybe I'm sp/sx?

This thread did remind me of something that happened, though. I was at a festival, and on the last day, my friend and I met these two other guys. It was mostly me who did the talking, she's much more reserved than I am. The guys and I had some things in common, so we got along pretty well. Between sets we'd talk loads. I felt a certain attraction to them, not sure if romantic, but I was really enjoying meeting new people, since I hadn't in quite a while.

Anyway, we lost them towards the end of the night and we never exchanged contacts. My friend texted me a few days later and said, "Omg go look at the festival's forum. One of the guys is looking for you."

Sure enough, there was a post about _me_. The guy mentioned all the details he remembered about me, and in the end said that he really hoped to find me because he thought I was _fascinating_.

I seriously did not expect that! Me? Fascinating? I even thought, my goodness, I wasn't looking attractive at all, I was all dusty and my hair was oily and gross. Yet he thought I was fascinating. Something in me had gotten through to him apparently. 

I have to say, my ego quite enjoyed this. But I never got into contact with him because I had trouble signing up for the forum and yadda yadda yadda.


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## bombsaway (Nov 29, 2011)

Sx/So and in average company I'm a bit of a wallflower. I tend to dress slightly eccentrically and so may draw attention to myself via that but I rarely make myself known unless I'm really confident in what I'm saying. I tend to come across as aloof, I think, if I'm noticed at all.

Then when the people I'm unsure about leave or the topic turns to something I'm really interested in and suddenly I erupt with energy or passion and people tend not to know how to react because a minute ago I might as well not have been there and suddenly I'm driving the conversation. I often quite like hanging around with Id types because they tend to dominate when I feel like sitting back and watching but will react to my weird explosions with enthusiasm rather than backing away because of the sudden intensity. I guess I basically know that I'm too much for some people or that others don't share my passions and thus withdraw until I'm comfortable enough to peacock.


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## Chipps (Jun 1, 2011)

Curiously said:


> I'm sp/sx (so could tie with sx depending on context). Being sp-dom, I tend to give people an impression that I'm reserved. That's what many have stated before. Even if I appear approachable, people have expressed that I seem a bit removed, almost enigmatic. I can gather why people get this impression from me. I'd much rather take "reserved" than "arrogant" or "standoffish", which have been other terms people have used about me. As a sp-dom, I really don't ever merge with anyone; I am my own island, and you are yours.


Im sp/sx as well. I am very alert but often not interested in other people. Im sure I come off standoffish as well and for some reason it doesnt bother me. There is a certain amusement I get out of it. I just dont have the energy to be social most of the time and it feel forced so I just do something else .It drives sx lasts crazy. Lol, they can't sand the silence. I've noticed sp lasts also get bothered by my detachment. I dont like to be penetrated by other people, so I consider my whole self a fortress. 



Lol, I sound like such a 6. :tongue:


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

Like @_staticmud_, I have a polarizing personality. People either admire me or dislike me intensely, hate would not be an exaggeration at all. People are rarely neutral towards me. I repel/attract people strongly, though I recognize this dynamic when I am actually interested in them. Since I am a 3, I am not totally obvious to what people, at large, think about me. It's just not what my attention goes to, first and foremost. 

I am sp/sx, btw. So, my presence is more detached, aloof, self-contained, professional and composed. Despite this, I am told that people can sometimes see 'glimmers' of my inwardly passionate and intense nature every now and then. Out of curiosity, anyone wanna tell me how I come across to them, here, as far is stackings/dom variant goes? I am an image type attention whore, after all. :laughing: haha.


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## Doll (Sep 6, 2012)

sx/so

I'm extremely outgoing and even a little attention-whoreish with people I'm comfortable with, like close friends or even people I don't know too TOO well, so long as I'm surrounded by a few people I know. In those instances I'm extremely social, but can come on as a little too intense with the subject matter we're discussing and often will focus my energy on a select person that I'M interested in. In friend settings there's a lot of vying for my attention, for some reason, which I still don't understand... I've just noticed it because I don't respond equally; it depends on what my interest is in. I'm often more invested in my own interests in a topic rather than the interests of the group, but I'm still aware of the dynamics. Sometimes I enjoy pushing the limits and being a little controversial, just to enjoy their reactions.

If I'm in a setting where I don't know anyone I am a definite wallflower, and will observe the rest before finding my "focus". Then it will be all about that and the rest of the world does fade away. I do find that I intimidate people and I've been told that, but I think it's just because I don't speak much unless I have something I really do want to say, and I often just want to say more if I'm in the company of people I know and enjoy. 

It's a strange contrast if you look at me with friends verses alone in a crowded room, but the energy is never different, just outward behavior - I suppose that's because of the sx being first. My primary concern is always with being stimulated by something that specifically interests me and moves me. Often this narrow-focus will drown out even my soc instinct and I'll stop noticing anything else around me. There are times when I can also get caught up in my head, for the same reasons, and appear oblivious to the outside world. I think the difference is that I do choose to engage in group dynamics and I can read other people easily, if I want to tune in.


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## RepairmanMan Man (Jan 21, 2012)

I don't appear to have a stacking, or at least, I don't really know what it is. I vote sp-first, but that makes no sense for me in terms of type 6.

I _have_ noticed what sx-firsts notice--chemistry. I really feel that, the way I interact with others and how they respond to me. I'd noticed this before I even studied the enneagram, and it's probably an indication that I'm not sx-last, anyway.

Beyond that, I can tell you nothing. I've generally gotten negative feedback about my personality in general, and most people seem to pick up on something different about me with the end result that I don't really know--or care--what folks think of me anymore. The most common feedback I get is that I'm extremely "negative", but that's not exactly instinct-specific.

I'm not charismatic. I'd wager most others don't really notice me (unless they're looking at my hair). Most of my day-to-day interactions are polite and formal; I get peevish with folks who get in my way, though. 

And that's about all I can tell you. Dunno how helpful that was.


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## thimble (Oct 6, 2010)

I am, presumably, sp/sx.

I do seem to make an impression on people. I come off, most likely, as rather quiet because I do not speak more than necessary to politely perform a function, such as ordering food. I would not be surprised if others thought I was strange, weird, eccentric, stuck-up, snobby, or excessively withdrawn though all have been too kind to say so.

This is rather hard for me, as I do not leave the house frequently. I go to the psychiatrist once every two months for a refill of my prescriptions, which may be followed by eating out or shopping. Other than that I may go to a concert, but it is not all that common for me to leave the house more than twice a month and not all that uncommon for me not to leave the house on a given month. Aside from my parents, I have only had a legitimate conversation (in real life) with two people this year. The only one I have spoken to multiple times is my Doctor. The impression both my Mom and I have picked up as that she finds me to be an intelligent, mature, and competent young woman.

My general body language in public is very stiff, my Mom describes it as robotic. My posture is erect, my walking involves little bending of my knees so as to resemble a windup toy propelling itself by beating the ground with chopping feet as one might use when swimming, and I keep my arms rather close to my sides, arranged in loose fists. I tend to make a good deal of eye contact without staring, but this is not without effort and can be forgotten in moments of stress. I have slight trouble with mimicking body language when cued, though I am aware of the cue, I simply find it makes me less anxious to maintain a stiff manner. I nod quite a bit and I will hesitate too long before shaking someones hand. I speak in a rather low, quite, but steady voice. Other factors I can think of are my tendency to dress in an overly formal, feminine, and old fashioned manner and I read in public as a way to soothe myself. All-in-all I'm a freak of nature and it shows.

EDIT: I totally forgot to emphasize how awkward I am!


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## mushr00m (May 23, 2011)

SP/SO

Aware of boundaries, inhibited, where people may view chemistry between us, I tend to see it as making a mutual friendly connection rather than an overpowering, intense thing. Quite removed from people although keen on studying people's motivations, aware of social dynamics and feel distant and making efforts to keep a certain amount of distance between myself and others alternating between connecting with people occasionally and backing off, I feel overwhelmed with too much intensity.


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## madhatter (May 30, 2010)

I'm sp/so...here it goes: I am very reserved, and I tend to be polite and formal in my address to people I've just met: the "nice to meet you", "have a nice day", handshake sort of thing. (I still don't understand why people want to hug after the first meeting.) But that really depends on the context, i.e. the degree of how comfortable I am in the situation. I'm not charismatic or intense in the way of sx...I think the problem is for people noticing that I'm even there...especially if I don't consciously assert myself in a situation, it's like I'm invisible, or as Kito said, a neutral presence. I also believe that I can appear to be aloof or arrogant. But, I don't think I'm lacking in charm...it's just very different from sx. My charm is light, airy, heady, and impersonal...I can discuss any subject with humor and ease. But it's very hard to get close to me. While I'm sp, so values are important to me as well, more so than I first realized when I started studying variant stackings. Being part of my family and the community I was raised in is more important to me and easier for me than such sx attractions and connections. But all of this must compete with my strong 5 SP "castle" dwelling nature (think Ichazo)...I am very much a hermit.


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## madhatter (May 30, 2010)

mushr00m said:


> SP/SO
> 
> Aware of boundaries, inhibited, where people may view chemistry between us, I tend to see it as making a mutual friendly connection rather than an overpowering, intense thing. Quite removed from people although keen on studying people's motivations, aware of social dynamics and feel distant and making efforts to keep a certain amount of distance between myself and others alternating between connecting with people occasionally and backing off, I feel overwhelmed with too much intensity.


You articulated this so much better than I did. :laughing:


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## mushr00m (May 23, 2011)

madhatter said:


> I'm sp/so...here it goes: I am very reserved, and I tend to be polite and formal in my address to people I've just met: the "nice to meet you", "have a nice day", handshake sort of thing. (I still don't understand why people want to hug after the first meeting.) But that really depends on the context, i.e. the degree of how comfortable I am in the situation. I'm not charismatic or intense in the way of sx...I think the problem is for people noticing that I'm even there...especially if I don't consciously assert myself in a situation, it's like I'm invisible, or as Kito said, a neutral presence. I also believe that I can appear to be aloof or arrogant. But, I don't think I'm lacking in charm...it's just very different from sx. My charm is light, airy, heady, and impersonal...I can discuss any subject with humor and ease. But it's very hard to get close to me. While I'm sp, so values are important to me as well, more so than I first realized when I started studying variant stackings. Being part of my family and the community I was raised in is more important to me and easier for me than such sx attractions and connections. But all of this must compete with my strong 5 SP "castle" dwelling nature (think Ichazo)...I am very much a hermit.


Your not the only one! :tongue: And I can relate a lot to your post.


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## Curiously (Nov 7, 2011)

Chipps said:


> I dont like to be penetrated by other people, so I consider my whole self a *fortress*.
> Lol, I sound like such a 6. :tongue:


Yes, a 6 with an evident 5 wing! I mean, you used the term "fortress".


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## stephiphi (Mar 30, 2012)

@madhatter @mushr00m

I feel like you guys are my Sp/So buddies on here; I related so much to your posts!


As for my impression on others, I would just say that people generally find me pleasant or don't remember me.
Depending on my familiarity and feelings towards my environment, that pleasantness is either tinged with a flavor of distance or semi-laidback(ness?). I always keep a baseline reservation as a mini-bumper when interacting with almost anyone in my life.


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## mushr00m (May 23, 2011)

I think @Julia Bell is another SP/SO, id be really interested in her experience in how it works out for her aswell?


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## Sonny (Oct 14, 2008)

Everyone likes me... unless they're dicks. 

I don't try to get that reaction, it just happens. I'm friendly, warm (apparently), easy to talk to. I don't tend to create extreme reactions in someone, I view it as neutral, average, nothing stand out-ish, forgettable etc I accept this view is probably because it's all I've ever been exposed to so when people like me instantly I see it as less meaningful than they may do.

So/Sx

@Kito you may not be taken as neutral as you think ^


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## Kito (Jan 6, 2012)

Sonny said:


> @_Kito_ you may not be taken as neutral as you think ^


To tell the truth I made my post with other SP doms in mind, because I have no idea what kind of impressions I make. ^^; My real answer is more similar to Inguz's.


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Fairly certain about my sp/sx but my tritype makes me quite polarized because of how I'm constantly kind of split into two kinds of people. Either people really admire me, find me charismatic, intense and inspiring or they are repulsed by how I can come across as blunt and unforgiving. So I guess, maybe I come off more as an sx/sp type? I'm still debating my sx/sp over sp/sx although I definitely think I lean more towards sp but sometimes I am not sure lol. 

I think I am a bit more reserved but yeah, I don't know... It's hard to analyze your instincts. Just like with everything else about me, I got this on-off switch and I change constantly. I'm malleable in a stable way. Sometimes I'm very obviously sx, other times very obviously sp.


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## Ace Face (Nov 13, 2011)

I have spent my whole life focusing on and spending time on the things that really get me fired up. I don't feel alive without my passions. When I lose my passion for something, I practically feel as if I've lost my identity. I identify with my interests so greatly that I can't seem to maintain an identity without them. My passions are what fires me up, and they're my reason for living. 

I often feel that others can't meet me on the same (spiritual/instinctive) level. This has always been a bit discouraging for me, but that has never stopped me from seeking it out. It's as if I have an innate instinct that is constantly seeking out something in others at all times. I am quickly aware of the energies coming from the people around me, and it's like I both consciously and subconsciously search for people that exude a spirit I can really connect with. I know how I will connect with someone after having only observed them for a short amount of time. I can internally feel how deeply I'll connect with someone almost right away. I crave a deeper kinship with people, but it is rare that I meet someone that can identify with me on that level. 

To be a little more on topic, I think my presence scares some people, but also intrigues many others. There aren't too many people that don't have an opinion of me. The opinions vary greatly though. Some would describe me as helpful, kind, passionate, and sweet, while others would call me rude, pushy, aggressive, and unorthodox. The mixed reviews kinda puzzle me, but at the same time, I kinda don't care. I'm looking to bulid relationships with those who understand me. If you don't understand me, I don't really care. My passions define me. I'm lost without them. You don't like it? Tough luck, sister. It's not going to change anytime soon


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

@Definitely
on a humorously stereotypical level
So/Sx: frat boy/sorority girl
So/Sp: politician
Sp/So: financial advisor
Sp/Sx: spy
Sx/Sp: diva
Sx/So: rock star (the kind that dies before age 30 of a drug overdose LOL)


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## mushr00m (May 23, 2011)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> @Definitely
> on a humorously stereotypical level
> So/Sx: frat boy/sorority girl
> So/Sp: politician
> ...


Lol :laughing:


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## The Scorched Earth (May 17, 2010)

Yeah I'm either Sp/Sx or Sx/Sp and I get the "intense" label a lot. If somebody needs someone who's warm and outwardly welcoming to people, then they won't get along with me at all. I'm coldly polite at best to most people, and just plain cold at worst.


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## goastfarmer (Oct 20, 2010)

@kaleidoscope - I am sx-first and I have no clue how I come off to people, even the ones I am attracted to. In fact, it's worse with them but my paranoia levels tend to spike as an E6. 

I am really intrigued about whether or not I have the same kind of strong influence over others. I know when even public speeches or something along those lines that I can come off very... impassioned. I don't know many speeches where I have walked away without half the audience just staring at me like they're taken back by what I am saying. Many people have also said I would make a great slam poet. 

It would be wonderful to know the kind of impression I give people even along the lines of fun, serious, dumb, smart, etc.


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## Mizmar (Aug 12, 2009)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> Sp/Sx: spy


I can relate to that.

Anyway, people tend to see me as "calm", "patient", "rational", "easy-going", "laid-back", "low-key", "good-natured", "grounded" and "sweet". I've often been told I have a "soothing" presence.

Less flattering words people have used to describe me include "cold", "distant", and "detached". 

Some of the more ridiculous words used to describe me include "angelic" and "serene".

These are all unsolicited descriptions and they don't necessarily reflect the way I feel inside (for example, I've been described as "calm" when I was actually feeling anxious).

It probably all sounds very sp/sx doesn't it? But I'm pretty certain I'm a Sexual subtype. And I might be sp-last at that.


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## Lady Lullaby (Jun 7, 2010)

Definitely said:


> Sx-first individuals are said to strongly repel or attract others. I did notice this about myself, but more often than not, I'm not fully aware of how I affect people around me. I can sense if a person I talk to is attracted to me or not, but I fail to recognise the impact I make on others as a whole. I mean, when I'm told how easily can I charm (or disgust) people, my reaction is usually... "huh, really?".
> 
> And why? Well, I suppose that the reason is that I'm So-last. (Although I suspect 3s are very good at that regardless of their stacking).
> 
> Alright, guys, what is your stacking and what is the impression you make on people? Can you recognise it?


Fascinating! I've only recently settled on my stacking as Sx/Sp/So. I think the impression I make on people depends on the setting. In a classroom for example, I have no idea - too many unknown variables and until I talk to someone one on one - I have no idea what anyone else is thinking. I do pick up on those who notice me - especially those of the opposite sex or someone who likes me from the start. In the workplace I am very professional and positive and yet quite reserved and maybe even shy. I find that my So-blindspot hurts me the most in this setting. In a party/dance/social gathering setting I come off as flirtatious and even gushy - - I feel the least 'real' in this setting, and yet most often I feel I can connect to people quickly in this setting too. Probably Fe-aux playing its part. One on one is where I shine, there one would feel my vibes of warmth, passion, interest, listening, giving, caring etc. If someone is an Sx-inferior they'll probably want to flee the room if we're one on one LOL! Thankfully, my husband is Sp/Sx and so he experiences my Sx-dom as security! Whew! Thank heavens for that!

I sure wish I knew how to pick up on what others are thinking about me - it literally drives me crazy not being able to figure that out! I might feel a vibe and trust that vibe, i.e. - they don't get me - but I may come up with a theory as to why that is completely off.


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## MissyMaroon (Feb 24, 2010)

sp/sx.

Hmmm, in general, to most people, I come off courteous, polite, friendly, 'warm' but standoffish, good-natured, and sometimes shy.

As much as I boast of intensity, I don't believe that's exactly what my first impression exudes. More of an inward, preoccupied energy.


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## Ellis Bell (Mar 16, 2012)

I believe I'm an sp/so (although I have also tested as sp/sx), and I tend to come across as polite--not particularly friendly, but not too distant, either. I'm interested in people, but I don't get too close to them. I also don't share a lot of details about my personal life, so people say that I'm a tough nut to get to know because I don't actually show emotion a lot (or at all). Good to know there are some sp/so people around here!


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