# Any NFs dislike physical affection?



## Nothing1 (Jan 22, 2014)

After several NF videos and forums, I've come to the conclusion that physical affection is something NF's crave/want/need/enjoy. 


Therefore, my first question is: As an NF, do you, at the very least, enjoy or like physical affection e.g hugs and being touched? Are there any parameters regarding from whom you receive physical affection?


I'm an INFJ and I HATE being touched. The ONLY person whose touch doesn't creep me out is a significant other. I even dislike being hugged by my mother, always have. Unfortunately, I work in a field where physical touch is common. I try to relegate it to a mere handshake and nothing more. Being touched makes my skin crawl. I loathe it. 


After watching NF videos and reading online forums, many NF's seem to appreciate physical affection as a means of connection that extends beyond their close inner circle. So are there any NF's who don't like physical affection? What is your position on physical affection as an NF?: Is it something you need/like or tolerate?


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## Winquman (Jan 11, 2014)

I consider physical contact an important part of creating mutual trust. I can't get truly close to anyone, friend or otherwise, without some sort of physical contact. For me, a hug is an easy way to bond and the more contact I have with someone the faster I am likely to trust them. Really, though, any physical contact will do - tickling, dancing, poking, wrestling, whatever...

Ofcourse, for the physical contact to even be an option from the start I have to already have a "feel" for the person. It's more a way to build a deeper relationship I guess.


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## killerB (Jan 14, 2010)

You are not alone. I also work where there is a lot of touch going on and it freaks me out. I only feel comfortable with my wife and kids hugging me or touching me. Also I can't stand a Pedicure because some stranger is going ot be touching my feet. I can't stand it.


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## FearAndTrembling (Jun 5, 2013)

Similar thread I posted in somewhere else, so I'll repeat what I said there.

I do not like touch....at all. It is awkward, unless it is your partner. Then I love it. I love it a lot. But friends trying to hug or kiss me when saying goodbye or greeting, makes me very uncomfortable. I just don't like needless sensory input in general. Don't touch me. Some of my friends have picked up on this pet peeve of mine and sometimes go out of their way to touch me, like put their hand on my shoulder. Just because they know how much it annoys me. I can barely tolerate clothes touching me... I hate that the fucking wind touches me. The rain, the snow..


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## Red5 (Nov 9, 2013)

FearAndTrembling said:


> Similar thread I posted in somewhere else, so I'll repeat what I said there.
> 
> I do not like touch....at all. It is awkward, unless it is your partner. Then I love it. I love it a lot. But friends trying to hug or kiss me when saying goodbye or greeting, makes me very uncomfortable. I just don't like needless sensory input in general. Don't touch me. Some of my friends have picked up on this pet peeve of mine and sometimes go out of their way to touch me, like put their hand on my shoulder. Just because they know how much it annoys me. I can barely tolerate clothes touching me... I hate that the fucking wind touches me. The rain, the snow..


Ha! I remember commenting in that thread with you too.

Yes, I second. Physical touch creeps me out. Only kindred spirits (usually other IN's) will get the occasional hug from me


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## candiemerald (Jan 26, 2014)

Yes, I'm uncomfortable with too much physical affection too. Hugging certainly _isn't_ my thing, in fact I feel much more comfortable touching someone/being touched if it is causal rather than affectionate. Also, I feel I should have a couple of feet of "personal space" around me, and if that is invaded I get uncomfortable - probably an introvert thing. I wish I could be more comfortable with physicality, though.


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## Nothing1 (Jan 22, 2014)

FearAndTrembling said:


> Similar thread I posted in somewhere else, so I'll repeat what I said there.
> 
> I do not like touch....at all. It is awkward, unless it is your partner. Then I love it. I love it a lot. But friends trying to hug or kiss me when saying goodbye or greeting, makes me very uncomfortable. I just don't like needless sensory input in general. Don't touch me. Some of my friends have picked up on this pet peeve of mine and sometimes go out of their way to touch me, like put their hand on my shoulder. Just because they know how much it annoys me. I can barely tolerate clothes touching me... I hate that the fucking wind touches me. The rain, the snow..


Great point about the sensory element. Would explain why I don't value it as much.


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## Nothing1 (Jan 22, 2014)

Thanks for all the quick replies. I feel less "odd" now. Because I've probably never met another NF (or IN), most people think I'm weird for disliking being touched. I tried searching for threads about this topic, but apparently I don't know how to search effectively *problem with being new*. 

I'd give you all a big virtual hug, but the idea creeps me out too :laughing:


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## googoodoll (Oct 20, 2013)

do you mean PDA? oh uber-cringe to that.


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## Blessed Frozen Cells (Apr 3, 2013)

I don't like to be touched (except for holding hands in romantic relationships and some friendships). I'm also an asexual. Physical affection/anything sexual is totally alien to me.


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## Violator Rose (Sep 23, 2011)

I love it, except I think I'm still kind of awkward about it. It's hard for me to determine what is the appropriate kind of hug for the situation, so that it doesn't look like I'm trying to make things too intimate with someone that things shouldn't be intimate with, etc

Sent from my HTCPO881 Sprint using Tapatalk


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

For some reason, I prefer to be the one who initiates the physical contact, rather than the other way around.

I'm not really sure why--I think it just makes me feel safer. But when my other initiates, I feel weird. It might be because I secretly don't feel worthy enough to obtain affection, and I should be the one giving it.

Hmm... wasn't expecting to write that. xD


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## StElmosDream (May 26, 2012)

Touch? Something I enjoy immensely, however basic trust and situational suitability must exist otherwise it becomes cloying as if being smothered, as the type with poor temperature regulation already (favouring cold as the always hot type rarely sick in winter).

Growing up with touch and affection that felt very forced, with one parent that still associates any touch with attack threats ('schooled' in that 70's anyone can hit kids; hands, objects, belts, canes etc) and one parent prone to overcompensating with hugs in place of basic emotional bonds we have never shared (I really don't like empty hugs lacking emotional investment or feeling bonds).


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## miuliu (Nov 3, 2013)

Affection from people I love and am very close to?
Sure, bring it on! :happy:

The rest of humanity?
Nope. 
It's uncomfortable being touched by anyone other than parents, brother 1, brother 2 and possibly future boyfriend. 
I have best friends too. But even touching them is not so natural. It's not uncomfortable, I do it spontaneously in small degrees or by accident, but I feel a bit of self restraint.
I'm kind of uncomfortable even with professionals who have to touch me. But then again, I bare with them. :frustrating:

It's not an intolerable thing for me, I just don't like it.


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## RunForCover07 (Apr 9, 2013)

Strangers: Please, don't touch me.
Acquiescence: Maybe a friendly hug to say hello/goodbye.
Best Friends: Let's cuddle, hug, etc.
Family: Bring it in. Family Hug.
Romantic: Please, don't stop touching me.


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## missy12 (Feb 19, 2013)

I'm not as opposed as I used to be. I've gotten to used to it and things like hugs I've learned to enjoy but even then it's not from just anyone. Only those who I feel close to.


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## chickadee213 (Oct 6, 2013)

I'm not the most cuddly person in the world... In all honestly, I'm far from it. I have an ESFP little sister and an xSFP mother who both *love* hugs so much. I'm constantly being bombarded with hugs to the point that I really don't enjoy them any more, they just make me uncomfortable in most situations. I'm a very private person and they feel overwhelming and invasive when I don't want to be hugged. My sister does that a lot. She hugs me and doesn't care one bit when if tell her I don't want to hug.
In certain circumstances, though, when they're not just randomly given and there's an actual meaning behind them, I love hugs.
I just don't like being hugged out of the blue, especially when I'm not in a bad mood.


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## 01010 (Dec 15, 2013)

I HATE being touched by anyone, even my own family, only if I want to :I. Would be pushing my ESFJ mom or ESTJ dad away and literally hiss, self-attempt"-defense against siblings.


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## cielo_nlu (Feb 7, 2014)

Yes! I love hugs, people playing with my hair, half sitting on people, etc haha. But because of the importance of physical affection, that only happens once I'm really close with and trust people. Any form of cheapened physical affection (obligatory side hugs, acquaintance touching arm, random person touching hair) makes my skin crawl and sends me running as fast as possible in the other direction.


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## Sargon (Jan 29, 2014)

I love touch! 

Most of the times, however, I want to touch people first. 

If people are overly touchy and poke me, hug me, or constantly touch me without me wanting it I can get exasperated, though. I need some space if I don't consider myself close to you. (My bubble! I choose who can come into my bubble, not you.)

Yep, I definately would rather touch others than have them touch me, at least on an acquaintance/friend level.


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## TheINFJ (Apr 12, 2014)

I like it because of the meaning behind it. Like hugging a girl whom is a love interest is great because it's a sign of trust. However, hugging people casually...no, it's not really something natural. I think I've actually offended people for not greeting them with a hug.


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## KristinaKiara (Jan 17, 2014)

I really don't like being touched by anyone, and I can get even to the point of being rude, when it comes to my facial expressions when some family member wants to hug me, or not to mention kiss... :$

But, when it comes to someone I DO care about, I can enjoy a bit of physical contact . I maybe hug my friends more than that's even normal, and not only them, but also some people I'm not that close to, but I feel somehow devoted to... it might sound weird, but yes. Somehow, that way of physical contact appears like an important part of inter-human relationships xD . It's like it deepens it.

On the other hand, physical love disgusts me greatly. I still can't explain why xD .


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## MissLady333 (Jul 13, 2013)

My coworker has tested multiple times as an ENFJ but HATES physical affection. The other day her husband came in and brought her flowers. She went to thank him and you could tell he wanted to kiss/hug her. Finally after a really awkward pause she gave him a side-hug. She looked like she wanted that hug as much as she wanted a tooth pulled. And, yes, she really does love him. Apparently she doesn't like sex that much either.

She's ENFJ through and through in the other areas, though. *shrugs*


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## Ninibear (Apr 19, 2014)

INFJ here. I only like physical affection when it's with that one, special person. Other than that, no thanks. I really don't like casual greeting hugs or kisses. Just, no. I see them as pointless rituals and kinda icky. Some people hug me out of gratitude and I just feel really awkward even though I know they mean well. Although I don't mind little things like the occasional playful punch, poke and shove.


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## laura palmer (Feb 10, 2014)

(idk if i posted here before but what evs)
HATE IT. I started working at a restarunt and people touch your back when theyre coming by you and I really hate it. Touch is for like, very specific people only and i feel like no one else deserves to touch my body.
I fucking hate hugs, even with family members. It can come off as rude when I dont want to hug people or high five them. I am also on the asexual/demisexual spectrum so that is kind of a thing too


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## erbus (Apr 14, 2014)

I like physical contact but only from my significant other; in any other scenario, I recoil instinctively.


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## KateMarie999 (Dec 20, 2011)

I like physical affection from people I love in a specific way. So there are maybe 3 people in the word who can hug me without me flinching. And my very affectionate brother is NOT one of them, no matter how much he tries to be. :dry:


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## ThePhantom (Apr 19, 2014)

I love physical affection...but only from specific people I love and trust. So, not very many people. I can't stand when I'm just meeting someone and I go to shake hands but then they hug me. I'm just like "Oh, ok, this is happening..." and it's very awkward. But then again, it's difficult for me to be near my husband without touching him in some way. Even if it's just standing close to him when we are talking to other people or holding hands. It's comforting. 

So in conclusion, yes I do like physical affection but only under specific circumstances.


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## SalvinaZerelda (Aug 26, 2010)

I had to train myself to like physical affection. I'm still forcing myself to be affectionate to some extent.

I took Massage Therapy lessons and the only thing keeping me from finishing it was the stress of having to physically touch people.


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## Artemis 2x4 (Dec 10, 2013)

candiemerald said:


> Yes, I'm uncomfortable with too much physical affection too. Hugging certainly _isn't_ my thing, in fact I feel much more comfortable touching someone/being touched if it is causal rather than affectionate. Also, I feel I should have a couple of feet of "personal space" around me, and if that is invaded I get uncomfortable - probably an introvert thing. I wish I could be more comfortable with physicality, though.


I will sneak up behind you and hug you..................:3 Awww, how am I gonna connect with you?


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## Artemis 2x4 (Dec 10, 2013)

Hmmm I dont really like hugs unless we know each other for a while. I dont like being tickled too much, and dont like it unless i know and trust you. Other than that, I guess im fine with it. *shrugs* I do not, however, like excessive contact, I will hurt someone; usually emotionally. -_-


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## candiemerald (Jan 26, 2014)

Salihah said:


> I will sneak up behind you and hug you..................:3 Awww, how am I gonna connect with you?


Hugs!! :laughing: Well, hugs are good...in moderation. I suppose I should say I don't like physical contact that is just social nicety. Depends on the situation and how I'm feeling. But I can be physically playful too and give people hugs when they least expect them...


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## Artemis 2x4 (Dec 10, 2013)

candiemerald said:


> Hugs!! :laughing: Well, hugs are good...in moderation. I suppose I should say I don't like physical contact that is just social nicety. Depends on the situation and how I'm feeling. But I can be physically playful too and give people hugs when they least expect them...


copy cat...........-_-


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## kennedyxvx (May 4, 2014)

I don't dislike physical affection, but I usually feel uncomfortable with it. I would like to be more comfortable receiving it, but especially giving it. I have a strong desire to give physical affection, but I never do. It's something I've been trying to work with lately.


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## candiemerald (Jan 26, 2014)

Salihah said:


> copy cat...........-_-


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## Artemis 2x4 (Dec 10, 2013)

candiemerald said:


> View attachment 118345


Awww, I cant say no! :/ *hugs*


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## Marshmelon (May 20, 2013)

I like physical affection, but I don't require it. It's okay to touch me if I am close to you, but other than that , please don't touch me. Like some boy tried to grab my hand and hold it one day, and I noticed before he did and dodged it completely. I was not in a relationship with him , and that is something I'd do with a partner. Other times in class, someone poked me in my side really hard and I flipped out. I do like good huggers though :blushed: . Good hugs = extra brownie points from me. At one point in my life, I was really afraid of getting near someone physically...it isn't quite claustrophobic...claustrophobic of humans? If someone would like to enlighten me on what that phobia would be, I'd be more than glad to hear. I've gotten a lot better with that though as the years rolled by.


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## zombiefishy (May 12, 2013)

I do love physical affection but only with people I am close with or are special to me.

I hate it when physical affection is being used lightly though. Like overusing it so many times until it really loses its worth and just doing it for the sake of...doing it. But that's just me, though. 

But I do love physical affection :shocked: Just....only when I'm comfortable enough~ :blushed:


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## epicenter (Jan 8, 2014)

Random, sort of...but I remember trying to hug someone and they walked away on purpose. _THAT_ was awkward. There I stood with my arms out. I even announced from across the room, "I am going to hug you." It isn't as smooth as it is in the movies. Life is awkward, haha.

Anyway...add me to the list of 'please don't touch me'. 
I do however enjoy physical affection with people I let in.:happy:


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## AnDieFreude (May 10, 2014)

Breaking the touch barrier with anyone other than a partner freaks me out. I even find hugging close friends that I've known for years a step too far.


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## adacis (Dec 30, 2012)

Normally I don't have a need to touch or be touched, but I'm not repulsed by it and am welcome to it as long as I know the person. The closer we are, the more fine with it I am. To an acquaintance, I keep my body language closed, but I've found myself casually patting people's arms or shoulders while laughing if I really feel some chemistry (rare though, and I probably misjudge at times). Generally I've grown up with a lot of physical touching with friends (I greet them with hugs, I say farewell with hugs, hugged friends every day at school) so I don't have a reason to dislike it.

However when I am feeling depressed and/or lonely, I do fantasize about physical intimacy; I equate it with emotional intimacy. I usually fantasize the most about hand-holding with an SO. Sometimes I fantasize about cuddling and more, but if I can just have someone to hold hands with, that'd be good enough for me. I don't ask for too much.

All in all, I like physical affection. I don't depend on it to live (I still hermit lol), but there is emotional meaning for me since I associate it with people I care about. It's an indicator for closeness.


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## Buoyant (Oct 7, 2010)

Physical touch is vital for me in any romantic relationship. I'm very sexual, have few boundaries, and like to please. One of the first books I read on my own in grade school was The G Spot. Physical affection is important to me, and I like holding hands and other signs of affection in public. It is not in-your-face PDA, since it is very subtle and not at all about being on display. I've not seen anyone get offended by this in public, and more often other couples will start mimicking us to not look like passionless automatrons. 

I'll hug family members and friends, but I'm not particularly touchy with other people. Can't seem to keep my hands off cats and dogs. They all seem to love me. 

I'm physical with strangers when there is consent or an expectation of contact. Stay off me on airplanes, but I'm OK with contact in crowds or dance floors. Love a slam/mosh pit, and don't mind heavy contact in sports.


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## NIHM (Mar 24, 2014)

I love hugs... is this a trick question. :wink:


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## Voyageur (Jun 18, 2018)

Physical affection is fine, so long as it's not too... _affectionate_.

Like, I would find constant, lovey-dovey PDA highly uncomfortable--the _need_ for my SO to hold hands walking down the street, public declarations of love (being proposed to in public would make me feel so embarrassed in the worst way), and I also count being stared at intensely/ogled, as people tend to--it's so creepy, and I've always hated it, ever since I was a child.

I also don't go for that typical baby-babble "No no, I love YOU more!" kind of crap, unless we're being sarcastic. But hugs and cuddling and holding hands are all fine, as long as it's mostly done in private, and nothing is done in excess.


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## HaloInReverse (Jul 18, 2018)

I'm sexual, so I like that kind of physical affection, and being pretty affectionate with my SO. But otherwise I have a pretty wide personal space area. I don't like most people getting too close to me or touching me.


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## Syvelocin (Apr 4, 2014)

Here's what I've noticed about my family:
ESFJ mom & INFJ me really like hugs. I wonder if this is an Fe-Pe thing, physical demonstrations of emotion.
INTJ dad tolerates them, don't think he really needs them like us but he's a good sport about all the feelers in the family. Distrust for Fe but also a sort of tolerance for it because his family is important to him (Fi). 
INFP sister absolutely despises hugs, hates being forced into inauthentic Fe demonstrations and perhaps Si contributes.

Therefore I would guess NFJs might generally be more into hugs and NFPs may or may not be depending on the individual.


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## Row (Apr 28, 2018)

Hmm. I used to dislike hugs when I was younger because they felt awkward. Now I really have got no problem with physical attention.


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