# INF[x] ???



## Peter_Parker (Jul 18, 2016)

Hey guys, first post, sorry in advance because I feel like it's a common question.

Goal: figure out if I'm INFJ or INFP, because it's bothering me.

So, my roommates and I recently became super interested in typology, and I've always been interested in psychology, so I won't be able to sleep easy until I figure this out. In high school (like six years ago) I took some tests and consistently scored INFJ, and everything I read about it resonated with me really well. I felt like it had me pegged.

Fast forward, I'm in college, six years have passed, many life events (some of them very emotionally jarring and sobering) have occurred, and my roommate, who I went to high school with and who also scored INFJ, proclaims that we should take the test again. So I do, apprehensively, because I'm sure that I've changed, and I feel like the idealist in me has been stomped on a bit (but not to death!!).

We both score INFJ. Everything I read still resonates with me, especially the stuff about introverted intuition and extroverted feeling, as well as some relationship advice stuff (it all says INFJs tend not to initiate anything, and I certainly do not).

But then I took a different test, and scored INFP. Then, confused, I took several more, all INFP. So now I'm more confused. There are things about each type that resonate with me, and I've tried reading about the functions, but I'm wondering if I'm not understanding them well enough to come to a conclusion. I feel like it should be obvious whether my intuition is extroverted or introverted--maybe I'm not catching all the subtlety of them. 

I'm confused by some superficial characterizations as well. I'm not very organized and put basically no stock into being on time for things, and I'll push schedules as far as I can without getting into some kind of conflict or inconvenience. I'm told that's an INFP thing. But I also have lots of long term, abstract goals (INFJ?). Is it possible for me to just be a disorganized INFJ?

It might be useful to know that I'm studying physics and philosophy, and I've always been good at math and logical stuff, but I'm also very, VERY interested in ethics, and eventually I'd like to study some more psych-oriented stuff. Goal is to help people see the world from other perspectives, because I think understanding the multi-faceted nature of the world helps to see the beauty in it and in life. I love talking to people about what I do, I like seeing people's eyes light up when I've gotten a point across to them (and I am painfully aware of whether or not I've been able to), I love tutoring, and I'm very animated in my close group of friends. BUT I also need a ton of alone time to pick the guitar and write and think. I try to be optimistic but I've also been very anxious, since I was a little kid. I will reluctantly point out that I'd really like to change the world, and that I realize this is unlikely but think it's useless to really commit myself to the idea that I can't, and that I've heard some people (very few, I'm well-liked among my acquaintances) feel I have a superiority complex (probably true) or even a Messiah complex (that one hurts a little). 

Hope that helps a little, thank you to anyone who reads my rambling, and thank you for any help!!

Of course, I can clarify or expand if need be!


----------



## wickedly (Mar 13, 2016)

Infp


----------



## Peter_Parker (Jul 18, 2016)

Thanks, but how come? Any certain blatant indicator?


----------



## mariahj (May 10, 2015)

nah, INFJ, possibly in a Ni-Ti loop. or you're a manipulative INFP who is trying to get a certain response to prove a point. everything you've said indicates Fe > Fi. your thought process is organized and your arguments build upon each other. thinking is likely not your inferior function.


----------



## Peter_Parker (Jul 18, 2016)

mariahj said:


> nah, INFJ, possibly in a Ni-Ti loop.


Oooo interesting, thank you. I did a little reading and I vaguely understand that a Ni-Ti loop is a bad thing because it's completely internal and pretty cold? Is it possible to sometimes be in a loop and sometimes not? 

Also, why do you say Fe > Fi? Can anyone explain how Fe (or Ti in the loop) work with Ni for an INFJ, or recommend some reading? I think part of my existential crisis comes from only recently starting to look into the functions, and so it's difficult for me to label what I do. Though a little introspection should yield the answer, right?

EDIT: I don't know if this helps at all, but I figured I'd point out that I'm very prone to intense bouts of emotion. I'll often walk outside and be moved to tears by the way the sunlight is hitting some leaves or I'll cry during a movie, song, or book. I think I show most of my emotions to others (my friends find my wealth of facial expression to be a great source of amusement), and I mostly use nonverbal communication to express those emotions, usually through eye contact. I've been told that when I'm disgusted by something, it's glaringly obvious, and that's been kind of a problem for me in the past, although I've only been told this by close friends, either because they're the only ones who notice (interestingly, they're usually INFJs) or because I just spend more time around them and they're the only ones likely to inform me of something that everyone is actually seeing. But those very intense emotions I was talking about I usually don't share, unless it's a fit of passion brought on _while_ I'm speaking. I always tell my friends later, but I keep those emotions hidden in real time unless I'm alone.


----------



## DannyLad (Jun 3, 2016)

Do you prefer to keep your options open, or do you prefer to make a decision and stick to it?

How likely are you to become annoyed or emotional if you can't do such?


----------



## Peter_Parker (Jul 18, 2016)

DannyLad said:


> Do you prefer to keep your options open, or do you prefer to make a decision and stick to it?


I feel like this shouldn't be as difficult to answer as it is for me. I can say for certain that I have a natural tendency to put off making decisions. It took me longer than most friends to figure out where to go for college and what to study, because I had very broad, abstract goals and couldn't figure out how best to approach them. As an ideal, I think it's better to make the best decision and stand by it, but I think it's probably more true that I fear making a bad decision, and so I simply delay the whole process. And I realize that this is more of an INFJ thing, if I'm not mistaken. 

To answer your second question, I get very, VERY stressed if I can't make a decision. I put it off, but it constantly bothers me.

If this all sounds INFPish, am I forced to conclude that the science and math stuff I do I'm approaching from a different angle than introverted intuition? I see how introverted feeling could work for things like ethics and morality, but what about when I think about physical problems? Because it definitely feels to me like I'm using logical processes to do that stuff. [I am probably still misunderstanding something about the way these functions are supposed to work, so please forgive my naivety!!]


----------



## DannyLad (Jun 3, 2016)

*INFP*​
If it is more natural for you to keep your options open and put off making decisions, I'd be more confident in you having a Perceptive preference.


----------



## Peter_Parker (Jul 18, 2016)

Thanks, that's super helpful and I think I'm with you there. I think my answers to questions like that on the tests I've taken recently are what have resulted in the switch from INFJ to INFP, and it is true that I put things off more than I used to. 

But here's what I'm still confused about: if this aspect of how I go about things changed, does it suggest a fundamental change in my personality? Because the way INFJs and INFPs think is fundamentally different, right? But I don't feel like my way of thinking, answering philosophical questions, and problem solving has changed. And that all feels like a rational process, but maybe it isn't.

Interesting side note (or maybe not interesting and not helpful), my focus is in philosophy of physics, and I'm currently writing about the fallibility of logic based on the idea that some elements of physics aren't grasped by the human mind. So while I feel that I rely on logic, I also feel that logic isn't universally true, and it's more of a useful heuristic. Maybe that's an INFP mind justifying its own lack of rationality? Do INFPs necessarily not rely on something that feels like rationality? Because it totally feels like I'm deductively going about problem solving. But maybe I'm just fixating too much on a little problem.


----------



## Peter_Parker (Jul 18, 2016)

Sorry in advance to continue beating this seemingly-dead horse, but after much thinking and introspection, I have more thoughts that I'd like to run by people who know more about this than I do.

So I spent about a day convinced I was an INFP, because of my inability to make decisions and my tendency to be much less organized than my INFJ friends. HOWEVER, after a lot of thought, I really think that my tendency to over-analyze things is both an INFJ tendency (it seems like introverted intuition to me) and is the reason for my difficulty in making decisions. Because actually, I'd love to just pick the right path and go with it. And yes, I'm putting off pulling the trigger on decisions, but only so I can take more time to think. When I haven't made a decision yet, it's constantly in the back of my mind. I can do nothing to remove it. 

Also, while I hold many ideals, compassion and selflessness for example, I'm constantly critiquing them and trying to decide if I should feel that way or not, or trying to decide if I can feel that way, if it's possible, if I'm doing a good job at it, etc. I go through bouts of nihilism, but at my core am an existentialist.

I kind of feel like my tendency to put lots of stock in my emotions when making decisions is an INFP thing, but I spend a lot of think rationalizing what course of action will result in me achieving happiness/furthering my ideals.

Any thoughts? I can provide examples if that'd help.


----------



## INFJenNiFer (Feb 20, 2016)

Hi! I'm an INFJ (who used to wonder between INFJ vs INFP vs ISFJ), so ask away! 

The first thing is, do not rely on stereotypes. INFJ can be messy and INFP can be organised, for example. In fact, I know several INFPs that are annoyed with messy threads. I think it's because of their inferior Te. 

Also some common misconceptions between Fe and Fi. "Fe wants group harmony and Fi wants individual harmony (meaning sticking to their values). What if group harmony is the INFP's value?

Also - Fe is selfless and Fi is selfish. Not true. Someone asked ENFPs a question (Fi users) and they say they would sacrifice themselves while I, a Fe user, chose not too. It is not the final decision that will help you type yourself, but why you made that decision.

Now that you know that, what is the main thing that makes you confused between INFJ vs INFP? The one main thing?

I can also give you links to articles that may help you figure out your type. Do you want me to post the links here? 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Peter_Parker (Jul 18, 2016)

INFJenNiFer said:


> Now that you know that, what is the main thing that makes you confused between INFJ vs INFP? The one main thing?
> 
> I can also give you links to articles that may help you figure out your type. Do you want me to post the links here?


This is extremely helpful, and yes, I would love if you could recommend some links!

I think ignoring the stereotypes, INFJ resonates with me more in terms of functions. While feeling is vital to me and I value emotion greatly, I feel like most of what I do to problem solve and come up with new ideas is to weave together ideas to make a tapestry that I then try to fit new ideas into, when I encounter them. 

But I guess my greatest confusion between the two is that I am very emotional (I'm biased of course, but I'd say I'm the most emotional person I know), and so I feel like Fi might apply to me. Like, in deciding on a grad school, I'm mostly thinking about where I'd be happy. Although, I suppose it's not some sort of "trust your gut" thing, but I'm trying to intuitively discern where I'd be most at peace (Ni?). Does that justify my leaning toward INFJ as more likely? Yet, just to battle myself, if I remove myself from the specifics of INFJ and INFP functions and just look at J as being more structured and P being less, P sounds like me. I hate schedules. Or rather, I guess I hate other people's schedules. If I write myself a schedule, everything is fine. But maybe that's because I know I won't punish myself if I don't follow it, and it's simply nice to have things laid out. I don't know! Perhaps stupidly, I did not expect so much introspection to have to go into this!

Is it natural/possible for the values and ideals of an INFJ to be emotion/feeling based (everything I do is motivated by desire to make the world better for the people in it, and for me to find peace) while the decision process is a more intuitive/rational thing?

This is a lot of rambling, so thank you for sifting through it, and thank you for the help!!

EDIT: Thought of one more thing, I'm extremely concerned with living in a way that I can make the most of each moment, which is difficult because I'm naturally drawn to worrying about the future. I'm drawn to lots of Buddhist philosophy and meditation for that reason. My natural reaction to stress (I've discovered relatively recently in the wake of more seriously stressful/distressing life stuff) is a desire to drop my future-focused baggage and be completely present in the moment, taking everything in. So (from what I've read) it feels like I'm stuck in a cycle between focusing on the future/worrying (INFJ?) and living in the moment with no concern for the future (INFP?). Obviously I feel better when the latter is the case, but if I stayed that way all the time, I'd never get anything done. This cycle promotes a lot of procrastination for me, and is a bit problematic. Does that sound like anything to anyone? Sorry this is so long-winded; I think it's as much of an emotional rant/vent as it is a potentially important example of my inner workings.


----------



## INFJenNiFer (Feb 20, 2016)

Peter_Parker said:


> This is extremely helpful, and yes, I would love if you could recommend some links!
> 
> I think ignoring the stereotypes, INFJ resonates with me more in terms of functions. While feeling is vital to me and I value emotion greatly, I feel like most of what I do to problem solve and come up with new ideas is to weave together ideas to make a tapestry that I then try to fit new ideas into, when I encounter them.
> 
> ...


Hahaha, I used to think that Fi is about 'feelings', but an ENFP said that it is a common misconception... It's actually, if I recall, about... 'judgements'. That's why INFJs are known, using the cognitive functions, as 'dominant perceivers' (because it has an N/S dominant function), and INFPs as 'dominant judgers' (because it has an T/F dominant function'). So doesn't mean that you're emotional, doesn't mean that you're an INFP, and vice versa. Hey, INFJs are feelers too. It's the same as 'INTPs have dominant T function, therefore they are more logical than INTJs with auxiliary T function'. ...What am I writing? That sounds so weird! Hahaha. 

So yes, it is very likely that the values and ideals of an INFJ to be emotion/feeling based (they are feelers! Feelers!). And adding to the statement I made before, I think these 'values and ideals' are more to do with the Enneagram. The Enneagram determines our core values - for example, a type 5 desires to understand the world, while a type 6 desires to feel secure. You can look into Enneagram too. 

'Worrying about the future' is a common thing associated with ISFJs and ISTJs, because they have inferior Ne. They base future/present experiences/events from their experience in the past, so when they face the unknown, they panic and think of possible bad things that will happen. So my mom is an ESFJ. She has planned everything (the bus routes and all), but when we missed the stop, she started freaking out and panicking (like, WHAT SHOULD I DO WE ARE FAR FROM OUR ROUTE NO NO NO) while I'm just chilling (LOL!), because... I don't think there's nothing to be worried about. I just feel (a gut feeling, I suppose), that things will be alright (and it is). Because ISJs are afraid of these possible bad things, they tend to overprepare. 

Hmm. How you react when you handle that stress makes me kinda have an idea for your inferior function, and hence your type. I'm leaning towards inferior Se - towards INFJ. (Inferior functions is a great way to type yourself as it is easy to differentiate between the types. They usually come up during stress. You can see that an ISJ will react differently, then say, an ESP.) I just want to ask you this: does any of these paragraphs below sounds like you when you're stressed? Pick one. 

1. Do you feel your world is too small and the future seems bleak or opaque? Do you feel mentally shut down, like you are tired of thinking? Do you feel as though the whole world is against you, throwing up every possible obstacle to plague you? Do you often feel an underlying anger or ready to rant/rage at the slightest provocation, or want to systematically tear someone down? Do you make a lot of careless mistakes with minor details? Do you restlessly seek out “facts” to support your ideas/actions? Do you stew about events that you know are out of your control, sometimes berating yourself for past mistakes or desperately wanting a do-over? Do you become more clumsy and lose some control over your body? Do you feel the urge to lose yourself in some physical task like cleaning, organizing, exercising, or mastering a hands-on skill? Do you compulsively check on certain things or fuss about aesthetic details in your environment, even your/others’ physical appearance? Do you get strong urges to escape from negative emotions through sensory pleasures like excessive partying, drinking, drugs, eating, sex, etc., and then afterwards kick yourself for such “shallow” or useless behavior? Do you get a strong urge to do something wild or crazy because of feeling disturbed by underlying restlessness? 

2. Do you become very careless or lose control over details that you’re usually quite good with? Do you feel your mind is in a fog and you act erratically, sometimes irritable and withdrawn, while other times too loud and obnoxious? Do you feel very out of control, act more impulsively with less social inhibition, such as snapping at others or saying hurtful things? Do you feel paralyzed when you think about the future, often catastrophizing or imagining all the things that could go wrong? Do you see signs of danger or impending doom everywhere? Do you feel sudden bouts of irrational hope only to have them cruelly dashed by reality?

3. Do you feel tired of caring, or become harshly judgmental, or want to pick fights with people? Do you feel worthless or hopelessly incompetent, bitterly judging or blaming yourself for always making bad decisions or never accomplishing anything meaningful? Are you full of blame and accusations, easily getting into rancorous arguments with people? Do you see everyone as inept and feel a strong desire to systematically nitpick everybody’s flaws or tell them how wrong they are? Do you make sudden and desperate but failing attempts to get control of your life or even try to take charge of situations by ordering people around?

There you go! 

Now, since you asked for links, I'll give one that, to me, is really helpful and detailed. 

INFP vs. INFJ: A Functional Analysis | INFJ Forum


----------



## Peter_Parker (Jul 18, 2016)

INFJenNiFer said:


> I just want to ask you this: does any of these paragraphs below sounds like you when you're stressed? Pick one.
> 
> 1. Do you feel your world is too small and the future seems bleak or opaque? Do you feel mentally shut down, like you are tired of thinking? Do you feel as though the whole world is against you, throwing up every possible obstacle to plague you? Do you often feel an underlying anger or ready to rant/rage at the slightest provocation, or want to systematically tear someone down? Do you make a lot of careless mistakes with minor details? Do you restlessly seek out “facts” to support your ideas/actions? Do you stew about events that you know are out of your control, sometimes berating yourself for past mistakes or desperately wanting a do-over? Do you become more clumsy and lose some control over your body? Do you feel the urge to lose yourself in some physical task like cleaning, organizing, exercising, or mastering a hands-on skill? Do you compulsively check on certain things or fuss about aesthetic details in your environment, even your/others’ physical appearance? Do you get strong urges to escape from negative emotions through sensory pleasures like excessive partying, drinking, drugs, eating, sex, etc., and then afterwards kick yourself for such “shallow” or useless behavior? Do you get a strong urge to do something wild or crazy because of feeling disturbed by underlying restlessness?


This is great, thank you!!

Of the three paragraphs, I think the first one best fits what I'm like under stress. The second one also kind of fits. And I didn't relate much to the third one. Some of the things in the first paragraph were weirdly accurate. The "world is too small" thing I can relate to heavily, and when I get stressed I start to daydream about running away from everything or going on an adventure, and just dropping everything that's stressful. I relate heavily to being "tired of thinking," and I absolutely feel that the world throws up every obstacle it can against me, to the point that I joke with my friends that I'm the protagonist in a bad sitcom. And I develop a lot of underlying anger and frustration that usually no one else ever sees. The clumsiness thing was oddly relatable too, because about a year ago when I was REALLY distressed I started falling a lot on runs, and had to stop for a while because of it. Which sucked, because I do like to lose myself in running when I get stressed. And the rest of the paragraph resonates as well, as I'll try to go to parties or something when I'm stressed because I just want an outlet, but the next day brings a bunch of self-loathing and even more introspective criticism than before.

Actually, after writing that out, the first paragraph is WAAAAY more pertinent to me than the others. The second paragraph I do relate to a little bit because I get more irritable and annoyed with some of my friends (there are others who I feel couldn't possibly make me angry). Usually I get angry with the ones who force me into the outside world that's stressing me out so much. 

Thinking about interactions with people made me think of another thing that may or may not be useful: I live with an INFJ (best friend, fellow student, probably the best person alive) who cannot address conflict on his own. And while I'm wary of conflict, I often will try to find a way to help him resolve things. For example, he was upset that another friend wasn't using soap to clean dishes, whereas I didn't really get too upset about it and would just re-clean everything. But he couldn't talk to our friend about this for the sake of avoiding conflict. Is that an INFJ thing, or a him thing? If I don't fear conflict AS MUCH as he does, am I less of an INFJ? When I discovered it bothered him so much, I just waited for the other friend to do dishes, and then walked into the kitchen, started helping him clean them, picked up a particularly dirty dish and said something like "some of these are REALLY dirty. Make sure we're using a lot of soap!" Sorry, that was another long and possibly useless rant...

Again, thank you SO much for your help! I'm very grateful!!


----------



## INFJenNiFer (Feb 20, 2016)

Peter_Parker said:


> This is great, thank you!!
> 
> Of the three paragraphs, I think the first one best fits what I'm like under stress. The second one also kind of fits. And I didn't relate much to the third one. Some of the things in the first paragraph were weirdly accurate. The "world is too small" thing I can relate to heavily, and when I get stressed I start to daydream about running away from everything or going on an adventure, and just dropping everything that's stressful. I relate heavily to being "tired of thinking," and I absolutely feel that the world throws up every obstacle it can against me, to the point that I joke with my friends that I'm the protagonist in a bad sitcom. And I develop a lot of underlying anger and frustration that usually no one else ever sees. The clumsiness thing was oddly relatable too, because about a year ago when I was REALLY distressed I started falling a lot on runs, and had to stop for a while because of it. Which sucked, because I do like to lose myself in running when I get stressed. And the rest of the paragraph resonates as well, as I'll try to go to parties or something when I'm stressed because I just want an outlet, but the next day brings a bunch of self-loathing and even more introspective criticism than before.
> 
> ...


Yup, you definitely have inferior Se, and is an INFJ, like me! 

(The first paragraph describes INJs, the second ISJs, the third IFPs, just so you know.)

That avoiding conflict thing is more of a type 9 thing, I guess. I've seen some INFJs in this forum who are blunt and don't like to beat around the bush. 

So yeah, I guess my intuition's right that you're INFJ. Don't worry that you are different from other INFJs - people are different, and personality types are just one thing out of many that makes us a person. 

And you're welcome! 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Peter_Parker (Jul 18, 2016)

INFJenNiFer said:


> Yup, you definitely have inferior Se, and is an INFJ, like me!
> 
> (The first paragraph describes INJs, the second ISJs, the third IFPs, just so you know.)
> 
> ...


Awesome, now I can obsess a little less, haha. Thanks again!!


----------



## Kitaraah (May 13, 2016)

Isfj


----------



## Peter_Parker (Jul 18, 2016)

Kitaraah said:


> Isfj


Oh, don't you dare do this to me. haha


----------



## Peter_Parker (Jul 18, 2016)

Also, I'm thinking that a lot of what I've been describing about stress, anxiety, and indecision is this sort of thing:

"Can Burn Out Easily – Their passion, poor patience for routine maintenance, tendency to present themselves as an ideal, and extreme privacy tend to leave INFJs with few options for letting off steam. People with this personality type are likely to exhaust themselves in short order if they don’t find a way to balance their ideals with the realities of day-to-day living."

I've been known to quit on things because of this, and that makes me feel pretty indecisive at times.


----------



## INFJenNiFer (Feb 20, 2016)

Peter_Parker said:


> Also, I'm thinking that a lot of what I've been describing about stress, anxiety, and indecision is this sort of thing:
> 
> "Can Burn Out Easily – Their passion, poor patience for routine maintenance, tendency to present themselves as an ideal, and extreme privacy tend to leave INFJs with few options for letting off steam. People with this personality type are likely to exhaust themselves in short order if they don’t find a way to balance their ideals with the realities of day-to-day living."
> 
> I've been known to quit on things because of this, and that makes me feel pretty indecisive at times.


Yes. However, some people seem to think that indecisive equals Ne.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------

