# Give Me All Your Kisses You Crazy Fellow NF's



## Burning Lion (Aug 17, 2010)

OK. So here is the story...

I am an NF. ENFP to be exact. With my head in the clouds I am easily swayed by romance, passion, love, sensuality... Lately, I can't seem to get my INFJ friend out of my mind. I am craaazy about her. We rarely hang out but talk and text each other multiple times through out each day. I think I am seriously falling for her, and she, in typical INFJ fashion, is relatively oblivious that I am blown away by how amazing she really is.

Baisically... I've decided to make my move. The next time we see each other, I want to make sure she knows exactly where I stand and how I feel about her... I want to kiss her. However, a simple kiss won't do. I want it to be special. Memorable. I know such an attempt might seem silly... but I really feel my soft and squishy side emerge whenever I am with/communicating with her. I want our first kiss to be different dammit. It means a lot to me and therefore I want to put a little thought and effort in to this... unlike so many others before.

What I am hoping for, is that my fellow NF's would be up to sharing some of their most memorable kisses with me and the rest of us. I just want some ideas to get the ol' marble working. To get some dreamy thoughts and ideas floating around in my head. Inspiration.

I realize it wouldn't be fair unless I started things off with an example of my own. So... without further adieu:

We were both young. In our early 20's. She was my brother's best friend. We've known each other for years but somehow time never allowed us to get past that point when we both realized how cosmically we "clicked" and how made for each other we were. Both of us were in serious long term relationships when we met and unfortunately, even though we fell in love that first night we pulled an all-nighter together, comparing the respective pages of our autobiographies, we never pursued anything with each other because we were both loyal and dedicated partners. Three years later...


* * *


We are both single. I finally saw my chance. Quickly putting ideas in to action, I enlisted the help of her (female) best friend. I decided to send her a "mystery package". Her friend gave me the address and I sent a little box with three items. A CD (this was before the days of MP3 players and memory sticks) with some of my favorite songs that described how I felt about her, a huge block of the finest quality feta cheese I could find in my city (her favorite food of all time. Even loved it better than chocolate. Weird I know...lol), and a five page letter describing how I felt and why. _BUT_ I left out all of my personal information and any details that might give me away as the author. I even made a game out of it. She was studying Criminal Psychology at the time, on her way to becoming a profiler and all.... so I started the letter with something like, "Good Morning Detective McEwan....". Throughout the letter I teased her intellectual curiosity but at the same time I poured over three years of unsaid-feelings and unrequited love between every line on those pages. That evening I made the deadline at the Puraltor office just in time in order to send it express to her front door the following morning.

The next day she called my house like she regularly did. After the initial greetings she asked to speak to my brother like she always did... and then... 40 minutes or so later, my brother tells me to pick up the phone. She wants to talk to me. My heart leaps in to my throat, my guts spill all over the parquet floors... We talk briefly before she confronts me. "I know it was you who sent that lovely package to me", she says. "I am sorry? What?", I try. "That thing that came to my house. I know it was from you. It's really great". I try playing stupid further, "I am sorry (laughing) I really don't know what you're talking about. I wish I did. It seems to have made you happy... and I would have loved to do something for you that makes you happy... but I really don't know what you are talking about. What did you get sent to your house?" This was hard... but I played it like a champ. Good little actor I am. "Listen... I know it was you, and honestly... I was really hoping it was from you". What was I suppose to say? I felt like leaping off of the 12th floor that I lived on. Of course I confessed. We agreed to meet later that evening.

It's past two in the morning. We are alone in a park not far from my house. To me it seems like we are the only two people in the city still awake. She begins to probe and prod me with lots of questions of, "Why?", "How?", "I didn't know you felt this way..." , "Are you sure....?" , "But you don't even know me..." all of which I respond to with calm reason and unbottled passion. I still don't remember what she said or asked at that moment, but I remember it caused me to go on for a while about how much I loved her and why, and what I found so beautiful about her... when she just grabbed me (I was not expecting it) and kissed me. We kissed for what seemed a very long time, held in each others' embraces like life preservers in a typhoon. When she finally let me go, she immediately sat down on the closest bench and proceeded to frantically search her bag. She was shaking. Physically shaking. I was naturally concerned so I asked if she was alright. She responded with, "That was the best thing I have ever felt in my entire life..." I felt exactly the same way, but what I said was, "Aw c'mon. Don't mess with me. I'm sure you felt better at other times before. Say... during an orgasm?" "Nope. Never. I never felt anything like that....that powerful. I could _feel_ how much you love me..."
I didn't know what to say. Didn't know what to do. I was so amazed that love could be transfered like that. Like a current of electricity from one body to another. I was amazed that I was able to have such an affect on another human being through one kiss. Albeit one of the most memorable in my entire life... thus far. That was nine years ago...


OK. So mine is pretty lengthy. Apologies. You don't have to go in to so much detail (if you don't want to)... but I still want to hear from you guys. Please help this slightly rusty NF (I was with an ISTJ for two years) get his creative romantic juices flowing...

Not to mention, I am sure it will make for a fun read for the rest of us...

Thanking you in advance....

-Burning Lion


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## Sage (Sep 19, 2010)

Augh! That's an AWESOME story! I'll try to respond when I get off work.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Resolution (Feb 8, 2010)

Your story is really inspiring lion. I'll do what I can...

My very first kiss... I was walking my date home like a gentleman and she kissed me. It took me completely by surprise, but I got comfortable with it very quickly. xD

Aside from that there was this other girl I was seeing and we were sitting on a couch (We were watching some TV)... the tension was palpable. I looked over at her... she looked back... we looked at each other for 2-3 seconds before I brushed her hair back and kissed her softly. I pulled away for a moment until the tension hit a breaking point and then we started making out. 

Those were the two first kisses I had in my life with women I wanted to date. Neither was very special, but both felt right.


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## Zomboy (Jun 12, 2010)

You know, after reading that, I've got nothing that even comes close.

Suffice to say, I'm a bit jealous. 

A bit.


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## Burning Lion (Aug 17, 2010)

Zomboy said:


> You know, after reading that, I've got nothing that even comes close.
> 
> Suffice to say, I'm a bit jealous.
> 
> A bit.


_Shiiiiiiiiit._ I was leaning to wards something surprising coming from you... but I didn't expect that. LMAO. It was surprising after all...

And that was not the point. I just wanted an example of one that meant something special to YOU. Any of you....lol


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## Razvan (Dec 17, 2009)

That was so beautiful and I know how it feels about the electrical part, the sensation is awesome. My first kiss, well, it was far from perfect and I didn't really make the first move, she kissed me, more or less. The relationship in itself was a mediocre one, it lasted for 3 months, we kept arguing a lot, didn't see eye to eye on a lot of things, she was kind of recuperating from a bad relationship and was projecting a lot of issues on me, but the beginning...well, that's always beautiful. You go in, head first and hope and love and take that risk...the adrenaline is amazing. We were sitting at a beautiful tea house, we were the only ones there and when it happened, well, it was far from perfect, I think we also bumped teeth a bit :laughing:, but when I touched her soft, warm lips for the first time, well, it felt like the world stopped still. Like, it was what I was waiting for so long and me not knowing much about relationships and all, I thought it would last forever. :happy: That moment did last in my mind forever though, and at that moment when I was kissing her, I had that shaking feeling too, because of the adrenaline rush, it felt like there was nothing else in that world but her and me and I felt in that moment that this person was the one I'd want to have close to me, I wanted life to be like in that moment forever (or as much as possible). Little did I know...they don't call us dreamers for nothing, booy, was I dreaming.:crazy:


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## Zomboy (Jun 12, 2010)

Burning Lion said:


> _Shiiiiiiiiit._ I was leaning to wards something surprising coming from you... but I didn't expect that. LMAO. It was surprising after all...
> 
> And that was not the point. I just wanted an example of one that meant something special to YOU. Any of you....lol


Haha, it's no worry. In your defense, I've never really been in a 'real' relationship, per se. But when I find someone I get that sort of connection with, I'll let you know!


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## soul searcher (Jul 22, 2010)

Okay, I wouldn't normally talk about this kind of stuff, but you asked, so here goes.

My first two kisses were horrible. I didn't love either of the guys, so I'm sure that's why. 

The first time I kissed my husband was something special though. My whole body felt electric. He didn't do anything very special, but he did wait until the right moment, not too early, not too late. I felt a bit shaky after that one. 

I find timing to be really important. And eye contact. If there's a significant emotional attachment to begin with, loving eyes looking deep into my soul can be very powerful. And then if the kiss is delayed just enough to create a lot of tension and anticipation, woe, that will create some fireworks. It must be soft and sweet at first, maybe a little hesitating. Too much too soon is an instant turn-off. I want him to let me sort of signal when and if I want more.

I hope this helps, cuz now I'm embarrassed!  :blushed:


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## Burning Lion (Aug 17, 2010)

soul searcher said:


> Okay, I wouldn't normally talk about this kind of stuff, but you asked, so here goes.
> 
> My first two kisses were horrible. I didn't love either of the guys, so I'm sure that's why.
> 
> ...


Of course it helps. Awww. Thank you for opening up and sharing... [HUGZ]


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## Bright Laughter (Sep 11, 2010)

Oh my my my. I had to spend a moment recovering after reading that. I think I've been neglecting that part of my life from too many years of being single!

I don't even know what kind of whacked out sense this is going to make. But I don't remember the situation leading up to the first kisses necessarily, I just remember the actual kiss itself from the point of closing my eyes onward. I'm ashamed (almost) to say I don't even remember who the *special* ones belonged to. 

I just know the intensity and explosiveness of the experience itself, & even more so when I close my eyes to remember it (because...that was what I was doing at the time of the experience). And when it happens again, I feel like ALL the other times it happened are also happening at that same exact moment, but with a NEW level of intensity added to all of the previous times combined. Almost like a supernova explosion happens in my being, and I'm completely unaware of a body or even what exactly is happening. I seem to remember or understand something huge or great about....ummmm...let me think...I want to say about life, except it seems grander than that - but hell if I can even comprehend what that's all about once I've opened my eyes again.

So, the experience of that, seems to fry my short term memory of before and after the kiss, because I come up blank if I try to remember any of them. I recently caught up online with my first love from highschool & we got to chatting all day about those days. After several hours of working our way backwards in our memory from when we had brokeup until we had first met , and finally I said that I was ashamed to admit it, but I don't even remember our first kiss (aka, my first kiss EVER). He said he had been trying to remember that too the whole time we were talking, but had no memory of it at all. We couldn't even remember where we were or what was going on at the time. So that's why I don't feel too bad about not remembering, because they don't seem to either. :crazy:


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## Burning Lion (Aug 17, 2010)

Bright Laughter said:


> Oh my my my. I had to spend a moment recovering after reading that. I think I've been neglecting that part of my life from too many years of being single!
> 
> I don't even know what kind of whacked out sense this is going to make. But I don't remember the situation leading up to the first kisses necessarily, I just remember the actual kiss itself from the point of closing my eyes onward. I'm ashamed (almost) to say I don't even remember who the *special* ones belonged to.
> 
> ...


Wow. Amazing. Does anyone else read this and think it sounds like the Quantum Physics of Kissing. I love it. Makes my heart all fluttery...


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## Bright Laughter (Sep 11, 2010)

LOL - Leave it to me to go all quantum physics on something intimate.:crazy:

Sooooo, Burning Lion?

Have you made your move yet? When you do are you going to let us know what happened?:wink:


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## damiencoold (Feb 27, 2010)

Burning Lion, so you're done with your long distance thing ? (ignore it if you dont want to answer )

anyway, keep posting, I'm interested in what happens next between you and the INFJ :happy:


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## Burning Lion (Aug 17, 2010)

damiencoold said:


> Burning Lion, so you're done with your long distance thing ? (ignore it if you dont want to answer )
> 
> anyway, keep posting, I'm interested in what happens next between you and the INFJ :happy:


Yessss sir! I tried. I really did. Kept my distance and all. Then I get stupid calls like, "Oh. I see you really don't miss me anymore. You don't call.... That's good. I am so proud of you." 

WTF?!?! Who says stupid shit like that? I need a healthy dose of emotion in my life. Can't get any from an ISTJ if we don't live in the same area code. 

Neeeeeeeeext!

I haven't made the move yet. Was suppose to today... plans got moved around. Perhaps sometime this weekend. 

I'll let you guys know. I just know that I am almost foaming at the mouth with anticipation. LMAO


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## barbalootSuits (Sep 19, 2009)

Aw hope it goes fantastically! And judging from your awesome story, sounds like you will make this memorable for the infj. Hm, wonder if you could go over to the infj section, see what kind of things romance them. I was going to say, try the kiss spider-man style, upside-down and all but I don't know what kind of situation you'd need to get in for that to happen :crazy:


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## Burning Lion (Aug 17, 2010)

barbalootSuits said:


> Aw hope it goes fantastically! And judging from your awesome story, sounds like you will make this memorable for the infj. Hm, wonder if you could go over to the infj section, see what kind of things romance them. I was going to say, try the kiss spider-man style, upside-down and all but I don't know what kind of situation you'd need to get in for that to happen :crazy:


Welcome to personalitycafe Barbaloot. Not that I am in any position to welcome anyone having only started myself back in August. None the less...

I thought about that myself... posting in the INFJ's, but I wanted the memories of all my NF's. I believe we can all sort of relate/connect on that level I am aspiring to achieve. Besides... I prowl around the INFJ's from time to time. Certain by now that I have a good enough caricature to know what sort of person I am dealing with. I mean... I've also had the good fortune of having a few pass through my life. INFJ's I mean. I say caricature because we can not afford to forget something very important. All science, as brave, bold, quantifiable, quantitative and qualitative, must account for the human variable. An element so complex, it renders the solutions to certain life equations relatively unpredictable. All except Arithmetic. Math. Arguably the language of universal truth. Consider though, if humans did not invent it, Arithmetic, would it still exist?

I've been studying personality theory for about 15 years now... and there is always that human element that tends to throw out our theories and ideas about the human condition and existence out the window.

Can't do the Spider Man Kiss either. The EX had a thing for kissing me while I was upside down... or positioned herself above me while I was on a bed/couch/chair, in order to kiss me like that.

BTW. WHERE IS YOUR EXAMPLE??!?!?!......LOL


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## Burning Lion (Aug 17, 2010)

UPDATE:

Shared pleasant conversations today. Put several smiles on my face. Made plans for Sunday night. Received something like a Pocket Call around midnight. You know... when your friend calls you by accident and you can hear what they are doing/saying even though they are oblivious that you are on the line? Overheard an argument between her and some next guy who did not seem very polite. Actually, he sounded like a Son-of-a-Bitch. I don't say that because she is with him and not me... rather, he sounded very forceful and apathetic. He wouldn't keep his hands off her despite her blatant protests. She sounded threatened and definitely not enjoying herself. When I couldn't listen anymore I hung up and called back. Twice. No answer. Sent two text messages. 1) _Are you safe? Do you want me to throw the bum out?.... _ No answer. One hour later. 2)_Your friend doesn't sound like a very polite guy.:angry: Hope you are alright. I'm sure you have everything under control._ No answer.

GOD DAMMIT. FML. I was hoping to avoid the use of any sort of life-preservers on this one. I was hoping to slide in to this one much in the same way you would slide in to the comforting waters of the Caribbean Sea on any winter day. People who display Socio/Psychopathic behavior irritate me more than any other kind. Lobotomize the entire lot. Fuck cognitive behavioral therapy.

Sorry... touchy subject. Just frustrated. Seems like I always fall for Brighter Laughter's signature pic.


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## sarek (May 20, 2010)

When I first met my gf in real life we basically went from charging headlong into each other just like in the movies, although we were quite awkward about it, to holding each other tight to kissing. So i barely remember the first few of those kisses. Until she proceeded with the first french kiss! That was like being hooked up to a 380 volt power line.


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## Alysaria (Jul 7, 2009)

It was Valentine's Day. The object of my affection was sitting at his desk, occupied with taking cards out of his decorated shoebox container. I winked at him. He pretended not to notice. With mischief in my eyes, I turned to the boy closest to me, "Do you dare me to kiss him?" I asked, knowing the answer already. With unholy glee, he answered in the affirmative. I approached my quarry with care, coming up in his blind spot so he would be unaware of my presence until I was directly behind him. He lifted his head, aware of someone in his personal space. As he turned his head, I threw my arms around him, planted a bold kiss on his cheek, and effectively scarred him for life. This was second grade. He was too quick for my second attempt. 

>.> I don't really have a vast amount of experience....


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## Resolution (Feb 8, 2010)

Burning Lion said:


> UPDATE:
> 
> Shared pleasant conversations today. Put several smiles on my face. Made plans for Sunday night. Received something like a Pocket Call around midnight. You know... when your friend calls you by accident and you can hear what they are doing/saying even though they are oblivious that you are on the line? Overheard an argument between her and some next guy who did not seem very polite. Actually, he sounded like a Son-of-a-Bitch. I don't say that because she is with him and not me... rather, he sounded very forceful and apathetic. He wouldn't keep his hands off her despite her blatant protests. She sounded threatened and definitely not enjoying herself. When I couldn't listen anymore I hung up and called back. Twice. No answer. Sent two text messages. 1) _Are you safe? Do you want me to throw the bum out?.... _ No answer. One hour later. 2)_Your friend doesn't sound like a very polite guy.:angry: Hope you are alright. I'm sure you have everything under control._ No answer.
> 
> ...


Tough break. Guy sounds like a douche-bag. :angry:


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## Burning Lion (Aug 17, 2010)

Alysaria said:


> It was Valentine's Day. The object of my affection was sitting at his desk, occupied with taking cards out of his decorated shoebox container. I winked at him. He pretended not to notice. With mischief in my eyes, I turned to the boy closest to me, "Do you dare me to kiss him?" I asked, knowing the answer already. With unholy glee, he answered in the affirmative. I approached my quarry with care, coming up in his blind spot so he would be unaware of my presence until I was directly behind him. He lifted his head, aware of someone in his personal space. As he turned his head, I threw my arms around him, planted a bold kiss on his cheek, and effectively scarred him for life. This was second grade. He was too quick for my second attempt.
> 
> >.> I don't really have a vast amount of experience....


I loved this. Thank you. 

I remember being chased around the school playgrounds by girls in the second grade. All trying to plant kisses on me. Felt like I was running for my life. Wish I could have that back again...lmao


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## Sage (Sep 19, 2010)

I have to say probably the most electrical kiss I've ever had was with my forbidden love just a few weeks ago. It wasn't my ideal setting, not terribly planned out but a little liquid courage gave me just the push I needed to lean in and go for it. The two of us have had a connection pretty much since we met, it was just a matter of who made the first move. We were sitting at the back of a pretty nice bar (not fancy though, just clean and more upscale than a dive) watching a rockabilly band and my friend's burlesque troupe. It was a country meets punk kinda crowd. Gotta love a fusion of genres like that. Anyway, I excuse myself to the restroom, maybe to talk some sense into myself, maybe to talk myself into escalating this thing between us. I don't know. I pee, I wash my hands, I go find my seat next to her again. I don't really remember everything that went down, probably due to one part alcohol, one part my heart pounding in my ears. All I know is I look over at her. She's giving me this seductive look as per usual. Those eyes! I say in my head 'fuck it, she wants this.' so I lean in. She immediately presses her lips on mine and I completely lose myself in space and time. I can remember how soft her lips were, how gentle her kisses and her whispering in my ear 'I've wanted to do this for so long'.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Burning Lion (Aug 17, 2010)

Tonight is the night. Wish me luck. 

It will either go splendidly well... make-out sessions and sum lovin' (Good God do I ever need some lovin...lol) or terribly terribly wrong and it will explode in my face. 

The anticipation is killing me....


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## Resolution (Feb 8, 2010)

Burning Lion said:


> Tonight is the night. Wish me luck.
> 
> It will either go splendidly well... make-out sessions and sum lovin' (Good God do I ever need some lovin...lol) or terribly terribly wrong and it will explode in my face.
> 
> The anticipation is killing me....


Good luck. 

And even if things don't work out... remember... it's just another step down the road...

looking for that special girl.


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## Jazibelle (Sep 3, 2010)

Burning Lion said:


> Tonight is the night. Wish me luck.
> 
> It will either go splendidly well... make-out sessions and sum lovin' (Good God do I ever need some lovin...lol) or terribly terribly wrong and it will explode in my face.
> 
> The anticipation is killing me....


good luck!

and wow!! for the story of the kiss!


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## Miss Tfy (Sep 28, 2010)

Burning Lion said:


> OK. So here is the story...
> 
> I am an NF. ENFP to be exact. With my head in the clouds I am easily swayed by romance, passion, love, sensuality... Lately, I can't seem to get my INFJ friend out of my mind. I am craaazy about her.



I want someone to feel that way about me too, and it's never going to happen damn it.

GIMME ALL YOUR LOVIN, ALL YOUR HUGS AND KISSES TOO!! De ne ne ne ne ne ne... oops I just noticed the time. I'm up in 3 hours. Night all xxxx


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## Jwing24 (Aug 2, 2010)

The moment I started reading this, I couldn't stop. Wow. But I wish I hadn't read it. I am mid twenties and I have never kissed a girl nor been kissed. I've never really been on a date either. I wish I hadn't read this because it brings up a lot of things I have hoped for in the passed that I have managed to push away. Like Zomboy, I am a bit jealous too. 

I hope it works out great for you though. I hope for you that your passion together might lead to commitment vs something that goes with the wind, so to speak.


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## Razvan (Dec 17, 2009)

Miss Tfy said:


> I want someone to feel that way about me too, and it's never going to happen damn it.
> 
> GIMME ALL YOUR LOVIN, ALL YOUR HUGS AND KISSES TOO!! De ne ne ne ne ne ne... oops I just noticed the time. I'm up in 3 hours. Night all xxxx


With that negative atitude, of course it won't :laughing:, try to feel positive about it and hope it will and strive to make it happen and it will. :happy:



Jwing24 said:


> The moment I started reading this, I couldn't stop. Wow. But I wish I hadn't read it. I am mid twenties and I have never kissed a girl nor been kissed. I've never really been on a date either. I wish I hadn't read this because it brings up a lot of things I have hoped for in the passed that I have managed to push away. Like Zomboy, I am a bit jealous too.
> 
> I hope it works out great for you though. I hope for you that your passion together might lead to commitment vs something that goes with the wind, so to speak.


I was first kissed when I was about 20 or 21 and I had the same feeling, of it happening too late. I wouldn't feel to bad about it, I learned in time that kissing the wrong person is like kissing an object, it produces no emotion inside. Maybe you should analyse what is actually stopping you from going on a date or using each opportunity to meet people and let go of the fear and do it. I see you are a cancer too, so I can relate a lot to how you are feeling. I think you just have to find the right person and to do so, you must go out there and find it. A lot of NFs hang out in libraries, book shops, cool artsy places with interesting music, parks and so on. You should just go there, hang out with friends and enjoy some good time and maybe be a little more active. I don't know what your life story is, this was how I tried to do it. :happy:


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## Burning Lion (Aug 17, 2010)

Btmangan said:


> Good luck.
> 
> And even if things don't work out... remember... it's just another step down the road...
> 
> looking for that special girl.


Right. Why do I feel like Bill Murray from What about Bob? Baby steps to the subway. Baby steps to the girl. Baby steps to the restaurant....lol


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## Burning Lion (Aug 17, 2010)

Miss Tfy said:


> I want someone to feel that way about me too, and it's never going to happen damn it.
> 
> GIMME ALL YOUR LOVIN, ALL YOUR HUGS AND KISSES TOO!! De ne ne ne ne ne ne... oops I just noticed the time. I'm up in 3 hours. Night all xxxx


Shit. No no no no. That was not the point of the damn thread. lol. Seems like I am making more people feel bad than willing to share a memorable kiss of theirs. I am sorry. Was not my attention. What are you talking about you crazy Scot? Why would it never happen? INFJ's have such an amazing personality... they are love and feeling incarnate. Shit. Where is that post I made.....?

http://personalitycafe.com/infj-forum-protectors/5866-falling-love-infj-way-5.html

Read that thread. Surprised no-one has commented since me... but I guess I summed it up very well.

I think the main problem is that INFJ's and ENFx's hang in different circles. Find other ENF's. They will remind you how wonderful and special you truly are. Chin up. We need all the love in the world we can sum up _together_.

Abrazos.


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## Burning Lion (Aug 17, 2010)

Jwing24 said:


> The moment I started reading this, I couldn't stop. Wow. But I wish I hadn't read it. I am mid twenties and I have never kissed a girl nor been kissed. I've never really been on a date either. I wish I hadn't read this because it brings up a lot of things I have hoped for in the passed that I have managed to push away. Like Zomboy, I am a bit jealous too.
> 
> I hope it works out great for you though. I hope for you that your passion together might lead to commitment vs something that goes with the wind, so to speak.


God Damn it! Another one. This one is from Taiwan. Read what I wrote above. Especially the link. You INFJ's really need to seek out other ENF's to help get you out of your "Cave Modes". See another thread.

You have "managed to push away"? How is that? What have you done to push positive feelings and such away? Maybe stop doing that. Be more receptive. It is unfortunate that the kindness and beauty of the INFJ can be manipulated by some less favorable characters in the world. Be strong. Fight for what you want. No-one else will do it for you. Actually that's not true... but for the most part it is. We are ultimately responsible for our own happiness.

Perhaps you need to push past your own boundaries. Step out of your comfort zone. I know that's tough for you... but if you don't push paaaast your limits, you will never know where they truly lay. More often than not, you will find yourself on the threshold of some kind of new experience/feeling and when it is all said and done, you will think, "Gosh. That wasn't so bad. Actually... it feels pretty good!"


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## Burning Lion (Aug 17, 2010)

Razvan said:


> With that negative atitude, of course it won't :laughing:, try to feel positive about it and hope it will and strive to make it happen and it will. :happy:
> 
> 
> 
> I was first kissed when I was about 20 or 21 and I had the same feeling, of it happening too late. I wouldn't feel to bad about it, I learned in time that kissing the wrong person is like kissing an object, it produces no emotion inside. Maybe you should analyse what is actually stopping you from going on a date or using each opportunity to meet people and let go of the fear and do it. I see you are a cancer too, so I can relate a lot to how you are feeling. I think you just have to find the right person and to do so, you must go out there and find it. A lot of NFs hang out in libraries, book shops, cool artsy places with interesting music, parks and so on. You should just go there, hang out with friends and enjoy some good time and maybe be a little more active. I don't know what your life story is, this was how I tried to do it. :happy:


Well said.


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## Burning Lion (Aug 17, 2010)

Update 2:

OK. Soooo I still have time to plan that perfect kiss.... because it didn't happen last night. Dying over here.

This is not to say I didn't have an awesome night though. We didn't do anything particularly amazing or anything. Went to a quaint, romantic, small, intimate restaurant. Shared some great food, conversation, and wine. 

I know she is in to me now. No doubts. However, I feel like I am still being.... measured. Is this common with you (INFJ's)? Does it take you a while to let someone in? To let someone close enough to truly move you...physically? How interestingly paradoxical. You have so much love for people, go out of your way to be the good-for-all-occasion-nurse, and yet... it takes a while for the outsider to penetrate that inner circle of yours. I also understand that physical intimacy for the INFJ is a kin to euphoria...which would explain why you are very selective with whom you share it with.

Thoughts?


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## Jwing24 (Aug 2, 2010)

Thanks for the advice. I'm afraid of many things, and I seldom get over them. But I understand what you are saying. Too cautious and afraid, yes indeed.

Wow I hope you find the right moment!

As for letting people in, I like to explain myself in an analogy. My entirety is a puzzle, it is made up of 1000 pieces, lets say. I will give everyone at least one piece, some many more than others, but nobody and I mean nobody gets all the pieces to see the picture.

Why? There are some parts of me that no one knows about and I am only comfortable keeping it this way. Also, I'm afraid that certain pieces are not so attractive to others and so I hide those pieces. Generally though, the more I trust you, the more pieces you get to see. I know this makes me sound crazy, but that's the best I can explain it.

So to a stranger? A stranger usually gets a small number of pieces (ex. 5/1000) and it takes some time to get more.

You seem to understand us INFJ's pretty well. For example, I care a lot about people, enough that I considered making a career out of it. All the while, I have never had a good friend who was a girl, let alone a "girlfriend". But this sad business doesn't stop me from being hopeful and idealistic that I can help others achieve things in their life. This is probably the driving force for me, trying to be a good example in how I live by trying to help others. 

Please don't mind my religious stuff here but to tell you how important helping is to me.
The greatest commandment in my faith is to love the lord with all your heart and all your mind (paraphrasing)
The second is to love thy neighbor as thyself (paraphrasing). I try to take this to heart.


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## Bright Laughter (Sep 11, 2010)

Burning Lion said:


> Update 2:
> 
> I know she is in to me now. No doubts. However, I feel like I am still being.... measured. Is this common with you (INFJ's)? Does it take you a while to let someone in? To let someone close enough to truly move you...physically? How interestingly paradoxical. You have so much love for people, go out of your way to be the good-for-all-occasion-nurse, and yet... it takes a while for the outsider to penetrate that inner circle of yours. I also understand that physical intimacy for the INFJ is a kin to euphoria...which would explain why you are very selective with whom you share it with.
> 
> Thoughts?


It's one thing to be the "good-for-all-occasion-nurse", that's relatively easy. Because that's just letting a person come as close as the moat around the castle. I'm stilly comfy cozy on the other side of the wall in my pajamas eating my bonbons and watching tv. At least for me, to let someone closer, means changing a lot in my world because I accomodate for them. It means going from running things smoothly, exactly how I want things, to making room for another in my life. And I'm not going to get dressed, out of my pajamas, for just anyone. :tongue: 

If I've reached the point where I'm like, yes, I'm totally into this guy. Then I just look like the god damned chesire cat, grinning from ear to ear. And I hope to god he feels the same, because I almost never reach this point (anymore...as I get older), and if so - please god - let him kiss me quick before I pass out from anticipation. And god help him, if he doesn't and I go home with nothing. 

After a couple of times, I start to close up shop and assume he isn't really interested, because it's SUPER hard to just stay open like that indefinitely because it lets all the cold air into the castle where I'd really rather just have my comfy pajamas on, and I'm not going to just stand there with the door open, I mean make up your mind are you going to stay out or come in? Are you a cat? I mean...uh.....oooooops. /rant

But seriously :crazy: Who knows. I'm different from when I was younger. And I'm different with each guy. So, even *I* don't know about me. There are those moments that I've only just met the person and something in me snaps (in a good way) and I'm all in, right from the get go.

Ok. Way past my bedtime. I'm just throwing that in, just in case this post makes completely no sense, because I sick of trying to reread it and editing it to make sense...and too much work to erase it all now. So. There.


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## Resolution (Feb 8, 2010)

Burning Lion said:


> Update 2:
> 
> OK. Soooo I still have time to plan that perfect kiss.... because it didn't happen last night. Dying over here.
> 
> ...


Well you got a point... Intimacy is very euphoric... it's a highly emotional and physical experience. 

And INFJs... especially those who have been used/hurt are pretty cautious. 

Even so... we also have a hard time taking the initiative in these type of situations... you have to balance sensitivity for her caution with... sensitivity for her lack of go-getter attitude. 

Keep an eye out for a cue. roud:


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## dazednconfused1 (Aug 31, 2010)

Wow, I'm loving some of the analogies on here! Thanks, Jwing24, for the puzzle analogy, and Bright Laughter, for the castle comparison! : ) They both really made sense to me. Burning Lion: As much as I hate to admit this, I've never been kissed....(and starting to doubt that I ever will be  ) so I really don't have any experiences to share with you. However, my advice to you would be, don't wait too long! As cautious as we are, INFJ's don't like to be left wondering about a person's feelings. If she is into you, she probably can't wait to be able to express it freely. She just needs your affirmation. (I'm a huge fan of ENFP's, btw.... even though one hurt me deeply. I wanted so badly to give him all my love and affection! Somehow I sense your INFJ feels similarly. : ) If I were to imagine an ideal first kiss, I would think the more natural, the better. Too much planning might end up making her feel a bit awkward. Just be sincere about your feelings, and basically be the romantic creature we know you are ; ) and you can't go wrong. Let us know how it turns out! : )


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## Jwing24 (Aug 2, 2010)

enfp + infj huh? never thought of that combination before. it sounds rather interesting =P.


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## Miss Tfy (Sep 28, 2010)

Burning Lion said:


> Shit. No no no no. That was not the point of the damn thread. lol. Seems like I am making more people feel bad than willing to share a memorable kiss of theirs. I am sorry. Was not my attention. What are you talking about you crazy Scot? Why would it never happen? INFJ's have such an amazing personality... they are love and feeling incarnate. Shit. Where is that post I made.....?
> 
> http://personalitycafe.com/infj-forum-protectors/5866-falling-love-infj-way-5.html
> 
> ...


Haha! Course I'm crazy, talking to you aren't I  Contrary to popular belief, love isn't for everyone. For some it's just a dream that you watch others experience. If everybody had it, it wouldn't be desirable eh? Good fun reading about though! Btw, kinda oscillating between INFP/J really confused about my identity. I know I'm special and I know others don't see that in me cos of their reactions; I'm an intuitive introvert, I read people well. In fact, it's the extroverts who make me feel most ashamed because they don't try to hide their "odd" impressions of me, unlike the introverts! (Don't get me wrong, I really admire extroverts, but in my experience they have caused a lot of pain)


Besos x


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## Miss Tfy (Sep 28, 2010)

Burning Lion said:


> Update 2:
> 
> OK. Soooo I still have time to plan that perfect kiss.... because it didn't happen last night. Dying over here.
> 
> ...


I think INFXs just want things to be special and meaningful, like they're kissing the person inside. And if that sort of thing is rushed, it is less special. We are so, so appreciative of guys who have depth and sensitivity, who can show that they are genuinely interested in us and not just for what we can do for you. An extrovert to boot? Perfect for drawing us out of our little shells... eventually.


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