# what makes someone marriage material?



## piano (May 21, 2015)

for you specifically


----------



## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

INTJ, caps.


----------



## piano (May 21, 2015)

neato, lowercase.


----------



## 66393 (Oct 17, 2013)

They must be open to the idea of polyamory. We will still have a committed partnership, but I believe limiting ourselves to one sexual partner will almost always lead to failure.


----------



## sweetraglansweater (Jul 31, 2015)

One word:

Jewish


----------



## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

If we have compatible life goals, we complement each other, we are able to get along well and communicate, we are in love with each other, we've been dating for a while and know each other very well, and both agree marriage is a good idea.


----------



## piano (May 21, 2015)

ahem? polyamory is frowned up in judaism so congrats you just sinned by thanking that post. the jews are disappointed in you and you are now banned from having any romantic interpersonal relations with anyone in the future, especially with jews.


----------



## 66393 (Oct 17, 2013)

i cant play the piano said:


> ahem? polyamory is frowned up in judaism so congrats you just sinned by thanking that post. the jews are disappointed in you and you are now banned from having any romantic interpersonal relations with anyone in the future, especially with jews.


She can amend her ways next Yom Kippur. Relax.


----------



## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

imaPanda said:


> They must be open to the idea of polyamory. We will still have a committed partnership, but I believe limiting ourselves to one sexual partner will almost always lead to failure.


This is such a can of worms for me. I believe in monogamy.


----------



## piano (May 21, 2015)

imaPanda said:


> She can amend her ways next Yom Kippur. Relax.


my teacher said i'm a loser, i told her why don't you kill me? i give a fuck if you fail me. i'm gonna follow my heart


----------



## 66393 (Oct 17, 2013)

Cagnazzo said:


> This is such a can of worms for me. I believe in monogamy.


Okay, just don't be surprised when, in your mid-40s, your partner imparts that they've been having an affair for 5 years.


----------



## piano (May 21, 2015)

it's weird because i don't want to get married but i like the idea of getting married young


----------



## Sunn (Mar 12, 2014)

Loyalty and Trust dood, all that matters.



imaPanda said:


> Okay, just don't be surprised when, in your mid-40s, your partner imparts that they've been having an affair for 5 years.


So what's the benefit of having multiple partners against having just one? Humor me.


----------



## Yasminec19 (Sep 16, 2015)

Monogamy. Sense of self. Friendship. Trust. Intelligence.


----------



## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

imaPanda said:


> Okay, just don't be surprised when, in your mid-40s, your partner imparts that they've been having an affair for 5 years.


lol "If you don't let her fuck other people, she'll cheat on you." What a wimpy response.


----------



## Yasminec19 (Sep 16, 2015)

Different people have different needs. Let's leave it at that.


----------



## 66393 (Oct 17, 2013)

Cagnazzo said:


> lol "If you don't let her fuck other people, she'll cheat on you." What a wimpy response.


I never limited it to women. What a jumpy conclusion.


----------



## piano (May 21, 2015)

imaPanda said:


> Okay, just don't be surprised when, in your mid-40s, your partner imparts that they've been having an affair for 5 years.


lol how is that anyone's problem but their own though? they're the one at fault here, not the one who got cheated on


----------



## 66393 (Oct 17, 2013)

i cant play the piano said:


> lol how is that anyone's problem but their own though? they're the one at fault here, not the one who got cheated on


I agree.


----------



## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

imaPanda said:


> I never limited it to women. What a jumpy conclusion.


He/she/them/it whatever. Same principle.


----------



## Stickman (Sep 30, 2012)

Cagnazzo said:


> lol "If you don't let her fuck other people, she'll cheat on you." What a wimpy response.


She won't cheat on him. Pandas are never horny.


----------



## piano (May 21, 2015)

i actually think panda would make a fantastic life partner


----------



## 66393 (Oct 17, 2013)

i cant play the piano said:


> i actually think panda would make a fantastic life partner


Thank you 

Likewise.


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

1. Good genes...appearance will be the same for many years to come.
2. Sense of humor...because life is far more shitty than we can imagine.
3. Huge sexual appetite.
4. Hatred of children.
5. Agrees that Fifty Shades of Grey was the worst movie ever.
6. FUCKING HATES PRIUS'S BECAUSE THEY ARE THE MOST FUCKING BUTT-UGLY PIECE OF SHIT IN ALL HISTORY. Basically, has TASTE in cars.
7. Believes in gasoline engines...thinks electric should be adopted at the last possible minute (when the Dems outlaw gas engines).
8. I don't care about her politics as long as we agree to disagree on pertinent topics.
9. Princess syndrome...I like women who are snobby (but treat everyone with grace and kindness). I like women who think they deserve to get everything their way.
10. Preferably Latin American.
11. Preferably ISTJ, ISFP, INFP, ESFP, ENFP...but honestly type is sort of irrelevant.
12. Thinks Martin Scorsese movies are awesome.
13. FUCKING HATES ROMANTIC COMEDIES AND MOCKS THEM RELENTLESSLY.
14. Black hair, brown eyes, dark skin, so probably South American.
15. Will tolerate the elements of my family that are...well...difficult.
16. Is a cat/dog person, but understands that I will fucking stick an icepick in my eye before having one where I live.
17. Hates American Cheese, Velveeta, Cheez Whiz...all processed cheeses.
18. Works out daily. Has shapely arms but not like body-builder level.
19. Jogs every day...basically, in stellar shape.
20. Likes staying up late...like all night sometimes.
21. Hates camping (thinks camping means staying at the Motel 6).
22. Washes her hair daily.
23. Eats healthy.
24. Loves sushi, italian, mexican, indian, thai, steak, fish...basically, not picky about food.
25. Is okay with crazy shit in the bedroom (but no SM stuff...not interested).
26. Did I mention looks like Josie Maran?
27. Oh, fuck, and when she sings her siren song on stage, she makes you fall into a trance.

I think this turned into an ideal partner description but, honestly, if she looks like one of my avatars I don't really care about the rest.


----------



## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

Enfp.


----------



## piano (May 21, 2015)

Cagnazzo said:


> INTJ, caps.





Catwalk said:


> Enfp.


 @Cagnazzo, meet @Catwalk! she likes INTJs and long walks by the seaside. you like ENFPs and steamy jacuzzi soaks. bonus: you both like to colour-code random words in your posts.

oy! it's a match!


----------



## bluekitdon (Dec 19, 2012)

Similar values. Basically this. One Thing to Look for in a Mate: Advice from Long-Married Elders | The Legacy Project

The specific list I came up with for me personally before I met my wife is below.
1. Integrity - I must know my partner will always try to do the right thing, even if that is not the popular thing. She must be a Christian.
2. Caring for others - my partner must genuinely care for others. I should be proud to have her in my life.
3. Availability - my partner must truly enjoy my company and I must enjoy hers, in many scenarios. We should be able to be together once married on a daily basis.
4. Health - my partner should be very active and interested in participating with me in activities. I should be very attracted to her.
5. Cleanliness - my partner should require minimal maintenance from me. I do not want to have to pick up after her on a regular basis, and she should desire a clean house as well.
6. No excuses - my partner should take responsibility for her own actions, and not try to pawn off responsibility for her situation on others.
7. Finances - my partner should be responsible with her finances.
8. Friends - we must be friends and able to communicate well about a wide variety of subjects.
9. No addictions - my partner must not abuse any substances (drugs/alcohol)


----------



## Vermillion (Jan 22, 2012)

Loyalty, commitment, a hardworking attitude, emotional stability, decently financially well-off and secure, intelligent, got their life figured out.

Oh, and seriousness. No flippant, light-hearted jokers get to slip a ring onto my finger.


----------



## Stickman (Sep 30, 2012)

bluekitdon said:


> Similar values. Basically this. One Thing to Look for in a Mate: Advice from Long-Married Elders | The Legacy Project
> 
> The specific list I came up with for me personally before I met my wife is below.
> 1. Integrity - I must know my partner will always try to do the right thing, even if that is not the popular thing. She must be a Christian.
> ...


What about after you met her?


----------



## xraydav (Jan 3, 2013)

a whole lot of alcohol.


----------



## bluekitdon (Dec 19, 2012)

Stickman said:


> What about after you met her?


When I found her I married her.


----------



## Stickman (Sep 30, 2012)

bluekitdon said:


> When I found her I married her.


I meant was there something you didn't anticipate? Where there conditions your wife didn't meet? Knowing your wife now, would you add conditions?


----------



## BlackDog (Jan 6, 2012)

i cant play the piano said:


> @_Cagnazzo_, meet @_Catwalk_! she likes INTJs and long walks by the seaside. you like ENFPs and steamy jacuzzi soaks. bonus: you both like to colour-code random words in your posts.
> 
> oy! it's a match!


I can see it now! She will leave him little love notes on the mirror while he showers, written entirely in formal logic. Complied.


----------



## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

i cant play the piano said:


> @Cagnazzo, meet @Catwalk! she likes INTJs and long walks by the seaside. you like ENFPs and steamy jacuzzi soaks. bonus: you both like to colour-code random words in your posts.
> 
> oy! it's a match!


Oi. @Cagnazzo has been _purposely_ mocking me for days - it is understandable why, however, impossible for me to marry someone of such cling. I will accompany him for a steamy jacuzzi so long he does not get frisky; as I have sensitive skin to human touch.

Complied.


----------



## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

BlackDog said:


> I can see it now! She will leave him little love notes on the mirror while he showers, written entirely in formal logic. Complied.


Not only that, if such a thing ever occurred, I will construct him a _nicely_ written schedule in which he can follow to attain the ultimate *best* day; yes, in formal logic should he tap-the-ass-right.

Complied.


----------



## Caveman Dreams (Nov 3, 2015)

Similar Life Goals
Not take life too seriously
Not interested in Politics
Not power hungry
Interested in New Age Stuff 
Enjoys music
Willing to start a family

Think that about covers it.


----------



## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

Seriously, I take a nap for like a _half _hour and this all happens?


----------



## BlackDog (Jan 6, 2012)

Cagnazzo said:


> Seriously, I take a nap for like a _half _hour and this all happens?


You asked for an INTJ. @i cant play the piano always delivers.


----------



## bluekitdon (Dec 19, 2012)

Stickman said:


> I meant was there something you didn't anticipate? Where there conditions your wife didn't meet? Knowing your wife now, would you add conditions?


She met all the conditions on my list. That list was a long time in the making with a lot of trial and error to figure out what I really wanted from a mate (including a failed first marriage that was missing several of these). I don't believe I would add or remove anything.


----------



## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

Anyways, she's a little slight for my tastes. 

I tend to lean towards curvier women these days.


----------



## sweetraglansweater (Jul 31, 2015)

imaPanda said:


> She can amend her ways next Yom Kippur. Relax.


you know my ways? be my concubine, shiksa.


----------



## 66393 (Oct 17, 2013)

sweetraglansweater said:


> you know my ways? be my concubine, *shiksa*.


Don't use that word so hastily. I am confirmed in Judaism.


----------



## AddictiveMuse (Nov 14, 2013)

sweetraglansweater said:


> One word:
> 
> Jewish


I'm laughing so hard right now. I fucking love you, you're hilarious man. XD

To answer the OP's question: I dunno and I don't particularly care about knowing either. I don't put much thought into it and I think if I did it would make the possibility of me even finding love lower. I'd overthink it and my standards would become unrealistically high.


----------



## sweetraglansweater (Jul 31, 2015)

imaPanda said:


> Don't use that word so hastily. I am confirmed in Judaism.


be my wife? my second wife? @Gilly won't mind. She's down to stay inside during the bright days on the beach. You can be my sunshine wife, she can be my Levanna woman. This is going to be epic.


----------



## 66393 (Oct 17, 2013)

sweetraglansweater said:


> be my wife? my second wife? @_Gilly_ won't mind. She's down to stay inside during the bright days on the beach. You can be my sunshine wife, she can be my Levanna woman. This is going to be epic.


I'm all yours, isha.


----------



## Gilly (Apr 22, 2012)

sweetraglansweater said:


> be my wife? my second wife? @_Gilly_ won't mind. She's down to stay inside during the bright days on the beach. You can be my sunshine wife, she can be my Levanna woman. This is going to be epic.





imaPanda said:


> I'm all yours, isha.


Oi. I demand at least 1 threesome per week or I'm out. Did I say 1? I meant 5-15.

I do like me some shade, but I like to watch from my shelter from time to time. Just sayin'.


----------



## sweetraglansweater (Jul 31, 2015)

Gilly said:


> Oi. I demand at least 1 threesome per week or I'm out. Did I say 1? I meant 5-15.
> 
> I do like me some shade, but I like to watch from my shelter from time to time. Just sayin'.


this

is

my

dream


----------



## Gilly (Apr 22, 2012)

sweetraglansweater said:


> this
> 
> is
> 
> ...


You know that making you happy makes me happy <3

And you deserve to be super happy. ./Swoon.


----------



## sweetraglansweater (Jul 31, 2015)

Gilly said:


> You know that making you happy makes me happy <3
> 
> And you deserve to be super happy. ./Swoon.


a threesome for you, bubbela, everyday. you my neshama enfj


----------



## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

Marriage thread. 

Becomes threesome thread.

Nothing unusual on PerC.


----------



## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

Cagnazzo said:


> Marriage thread.
> 
> Becomes threesome thread.
> 
> Nothing unusual on PerC.


No one can top the threesome of Piano, @AddictiveMuse and myself though. The menage a trois of all menage a trois's.


----------



## MisterPerfect (Nov 20, 2015)

Intellectual-Able to understand my mindset and have something similar
Self Esteem-Someone who is positive and upbeat even when everyone is panicking


----------



## Alpha_Orionis (Jan 18, 2015)

No one is a marriage material for me because i do not want to marry.
About spending the rest of my life with someone, there are not really some qualities that would make me do that. If i would be happy around that person, and it with me, that is all i need.


----------



## AddictiveMuse (Nov 14, 2013)

Sporadic Aura said:


> No one can top the threesome of Piano, @AddictiveMuse and myself though. The menage a trois of all menage a trois's.


Damn straight.


----------



## AddictiveMuse (Nov 14, 2013)

No, but seriously, a menage a trois of @Sporadic Aura, @i cant play the piano and I, would be the ultimate menage a trois. It would be the menage a trois to end all menage a trois because nothing else could ever top that. Ever. All prospective menage a trois would realise they've been beaten and give up. Mmhmm.


----------



## Toru Okada (May 10, 2011)

Catwalk said:


> Enfp.


is this a myers-briggs meem trope? INTJ+ENFP?? Is there something to all this bullshit???












Eska said:


> Virgin. (avoiding male microchimerism, and reflects desirable traits)
> Appropriate muscular, and skeletal, structure. (height/width/muscle insertions/proportions)
> Monogamous, etc.
> 
> ...


Would you preserve your ideal mate's head in a jar after she has given you an heir or two, Eska?


----------



## Stickman (Sep 30, 2012)

AddictiveMuse said:


> Damn straight.


Actually, that's not entirely straight...

But according to some religions, you would be damned.

Just sayin'


----------



## Wiz (Apr 8, 2014)

i cant play the piano said:


> for you specifically


If you have to ask that question, you have not met that someone.. *moonwalks out to a choir jingle*


----------



## Voxi (Apr 13, 2013)

i cant play the piano said:


> for you specifically


Long term foundation of friendship, safety, trust. Someone I've been through all the bullshit with and came out on the other side with an even stronger friendship. Basically a best friend. Nothing shy of it.


----------



## mangodelic psycho (Jan 12, 2015)

But no one is good enough.

#whosafraidofcommitmentraiseyourhands


----------



## BenevolentBitterBleeding (Mar 16, 2015)

Not a potato.



Well, _maybe_...​


----------



## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

I spent many hours thinking about this when I was on the cusp of marriage. There are many criteria that can be considered... good communication, reliability, shared values, congruous life goals, finding each other mentally stimulating, kindness and understanding, trust, comfort, camaraderie, sexual attraction, charisma, big butt, provides good oral, willing to have a lot of kids, willing to adhere to your custom diet plan, whatever... the thing is, individuals can list any number of traits out, but when you get to actually considering marriage, maybe your partner doesn't really quite meet some of the criteria you initially thought were crucial. Or maybe they bring something new into your world that you never knew you required until you met them, even though if you never met them you probably would have been fine in a marriage without it. 

What I'm saying is - I don't think it's actually static even though I always tended to think of it as such, and most people tend to phrase it as such. Sure there may be some hard lines... potential spouse not a racist, not a murderer. But as for what creates compatibility, I think it's a Gestalt thing, dynamic, the whole being more than the sum of its parts. So at the core, regardless of whatever crazy constellation of traits and requirements suits your fancy at a point in time, I think "marriage material" simply boils down to whether you're willing to risk your future on that other person at that moment. It's kind of beautiful in its simplicity.


----------



## Euclid (Mar 20, 2014)

A lot of patience.


----------



## Sybow (Feb 1, 2016)

Nothing. I don't want to spend money on useless things.


----------



## IDontThinkSo (Aug 24, 2011)

small balls

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/dads-gonads-smaller-testicles-linked-caring-fathers-191233439.html#akxXxWn


----------



## Skeletalz (Feb 21, 2015)

Ill let you know when I find her :wink:


----------



## Stelmaria (Sep 30, 2011)

Wellsy said:


> confirmed


Nope.


----------



## Wellsy (Oct 24, 2011)

Wellsy said:


> When ya dropping dope name like Wellsy you is marriage material, for real.


Eg likes wellsy


----------



## Queen of Cups (Feb 26, 2010)

BenevolentBitterBleeding said:


> Not a potato.
> 
> 
> 
> Well, _maybe_...​


----------



## AnneM (May 29, 2019)

I think a lot of people who consider themselves to be "marriage material" turn out not to be so, in the same way that a lot of people who "love" children don't make the greatest parents. 

It's not really possible to say who will be marriage or parent material, because no one is fully aware of what he or she is capable of when being acted upon by Grace. 

You shouldn't dismiss a person simply because she doesn't seem like marriage/mother material. I was CRAZY when my husband met me. I had credit card bills out the wazoo. I was coming out of a period of extreme promiscuity. 

But when I committed to him and our life together, everything in me rallied behind the cause. And it happened really, really fast that I completely got my shit together.


----------



## Denature (Nov 6, 2015)

AnneM said:


> You shouldn't dismiss a person simply because she doesn't seem like marriage/mother material. I was CRAZY when my husband met me. I had credit card bills out the wazoo. I was coming out of a period of extreme promiscuity.
> 
> But when I committed to him and our life together, everything in me rallied behind the cause. And it happened really, really fast that I completely got my shit together.


What do you mean "was"? lol jk

I find this really interesting. What do you think about your situation made you rally behind the cause and get things together?
Why do you think he overlooked those things?


----------



## AnneM (May 29, 2019)

Denature said:


> What do you mean "was"? lol jk
> 
> I find this really interesting. What do you think about your situation made you rally behind the cause and get things together?
> Why do you think he overlooked those things?


Sigh. Yeah, I'm still crazy. I take no offense. It's just the truth. 

It's The Crazy he struggles with. The other day he said, "I love every part of you. It's just....some parts of you cause me extreme anxiety." And I said, "I can't relax into your love if the parts of me that I love the most are the parts that make you anxious!" If I just cut out basically everything that's most important to me in the universe and never talked about it again, my marriage would be _perfect_. 

The crazy just changed flavors from the way it was in the beginning. Now I'm spiritually crazy; back then, I was crazy in a more normal way. Now I break down weeping about whether or not Jesus thinks I'm a goat or a sheep. Or start laughing hysterically about having Lucifer as a guardian angel. Or worrying that I might accidentally end up in another dimension. Just neat stuff like that. 

Can I use the F word and say.....Fate? Or the D word and say Destiny? Everything just clicked with us. It was like going 100 mph speeding toward a wall, and then being picked up at the last possible moment and set down gently on a feather bed. Seriously, I should've died. I should've killed somebody in a drunk driving accident and ended up in jail. 

The cool thing is that he didn't have a "rescue mentality" about it. He's not that kind of a guy. He was just also very lonely and not digging the crazy dating game. That's what we initially bonded over. We had no idea in the beginning how much we were going to have in common. 

I know this is a lame story, but it was almost like: nobody else wanted either of us, so we accepted each other. 

I remember the day I told him I was pregnant (4 months after we started dating). He just took it in complete stride. No negativity whatsoever. He went in the kitchen and made me an engagement ring....out of foil. I still have that. And once a child was involved, everything made even more sense. We've always been on the same page about what we owe our kids. 

His best friend said to him at the time, "Dude. I don't understand you. You go years with no girlfriend. Then you start dating this crazy chick. She moves in after less than 3 months, and then you get her pregnant." 

All that crazy of mine (the drinking, the sleeping around, the credit cards)......it was all a product of extreme loneliness. Isn't that sad?
My spiritual crazy is exactly the same, the product of loneliness.


----------



## Euclid (Mar 20, 2014)




----------



## Penny (Mar 24, 2016)

how much they love you


----------



## Lucan1010 (Jul 23, 2018)

Not entirely sure yet, I'm still young-ish, but probably someone I've dated for a few years. I feel like by then I'd know them pretty well.


----------



## DawnUnder (Aug 11, 2019)

If someone else wants to marry them I guess?


----------

