# Where to meet other NF's?



## annemarie

Most of my friends are SP's or SJ's and I find it very difficult talking to them about my deepest feelings.

I was working as a civil servant about a year ago and experienced alot of stress and lost confidence in myself. 

(In typical INFJ style ) I withdraw from socialising with people and spent more time with my sister, with whom I am very close. 

My friends have not really reached out to me or offered much support. I am very dissapointed and quite hurt, especially because I always listen and empathise with their problems.

I was wondering what sort of places to go to meet other NF idealists? There are no Idealists in my family and I have NO idealist friends! :crying: I really want friends with whom I can be myself and share my feelings with.


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## εmptε

*Internet, probably. You can meet ENFPs at libraries than follow them to parties. (The Partying Historian). You can meet ENFJs at pretty much anywhere. Just look for the one that is picking up all the males, or females. You can meet INFJs on the internet...... and you don't meet INFPs, they don't exist in the real world.*


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## LadyJava

Annemarie, it is hard to find infp's in the real world. Most of my infp friends are on the internet. I've met a couple who work on Facebook causes. Bookstores/coffeeshops are good places to look. Do you have a Barnes & Noble nearby? You might have some luck with the bookclubs. They are small groups and not intimidating.


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## thehigher

ya...i want to meet an enfj cause ive never met one...i think.


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## CJay3113

I hear you annemarie, I grew up with tons of SP and SJ friends (and one NT). My advice to you is take a look at where you like going throughout the day. What are some of your favorite places? You'll probably run in an NF somewhere with a relaxing atmosphere. I use the internet to talk to more NFs, it's just easier, for me anyway.


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## de l'eau salée

Internet...:frustrating:

I think I see eHarmony in my future.


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## Happy

If you want to meet NF's in real life, I suggest going to Alaska during the winter. Most people are indoors forcing them reflect to reflect on life and surroundings making them NF's.:crazy:


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## annemarie

java_monkey said:


> Annemarie, it is hard to find infp's in the real world. Most of my infp friends are on the internet. I've met a couple who work on Facebook causes. Bookstores/coffeeshops are good places to look. Do you have a Barnes & Noble nearby? You might have some luck with the bookclubs. They are small groups and not intimidating.


 
Wow! I didnt realise it would be so difficult. If your obervation is right this is very unfortunate. Are we really this rare?? :dry: Even though speaking to people online is great, (I personally think) it is no substitute to real life interation. 


I have read alot about the Idealist and know that some of us gravitate towards activism and social causes. Maybe a good place to check would be charities or groups fighting for a cause? what do you guys think?

:dry:


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## annemarie

I am hopeful. There must be a way!! lol

In some States in the US there are INFJ social groups-shame we dont have this in London. hmmm......


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## LadyJava

annemarie said:


> Wow! I didnt realise it would be so difficult. If your obervation is right this is very unfortunate. Are we really this rare?? :dry: Even though speaking to people online is great, (I personally think) it is no substitute to real life interation.
> 
> 
> I have read alot about the Idealist and know that some of us gravitate towards activism and social causes. Maybe a good place to check would be charities or groups fighting for a cause? what do you guys think?
> 
> :dry:


Actually, I don't think NFs are super rare. I think charities and causes are great places to meet NFs (and SJs).


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## annemarie

java_monkey said:


> Actually, I don't think NFs are super rare. I think charities and causes are great places to meet NFs (and SJs).


 
Yes im trying to hold onto this thought! :wink: 

I think perhaps we are difficult to meet in everyday life but im thinking maybe we re concentrated in certain areas. The church, counselling professions or charity groups maybe.


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## TheHappyMinority

INFPs are the ones at your office that bounce between being very happy and involved, chronically depressed, stressed, and cold. Moods may change without warning and for no apparent reason (to you).Their bad moods can generally be turned around with offers of friendship - particularly from those offering cake or some other treat they may like.


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## annemarie

hmmm.... I dont think I've met anyone like that before. However I do remember a girl I knew at school who was hyper sensitive and people would make fun of her because of this. 

is hyper sensitivity one of the hallmarks of idealists?


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## Dina

I believe I've seen other NFs reading in bookstores and coffee shops, but just admired them from a distance. Approaching people in places like bookstores and coffee shops can be awkward. Instead, I might make a mental note that they are bookstore/coffee shop goers, and thus, the type I would enjoy getting to know.


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## INFJturnedENTP

annemarie said:


> I am hopeful. There must be a way!! lol
> 
> In some States in the US there are INFJ social groups-shame we dont have this in London. hmmm......


What? Where did you find this information-? :happy:I know of no state-sponsored INFJ groups in the US ...that sounds not implausible, but unlikely as a special interest program

This forum is a great device..and links us regardless of geographical location..:happy:


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## annemarie

INFJturnedENTP said:


> What? Where did you find this information-? :happy:I know of no state-sponsored INFJ groups in the US ...that sounds not implausible, but unlikely as a special interest program
> 
> This forum is a great device..and links us regardless of geographical location..:happy:


I'm referring to INFJ meetup groups-where people meet in real life. All the ones I can find are in the US. Indeed this site is very valuable and a great way to interact with lots of different people .


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## Spooky

You probably won't find very many in bars or dance clubs - at least not of the introverted type.


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## annemarie

Beloved said:


> You probably won't find very many in bars or dance clubs - at least not of the introverted type.


 
I disagree with you on this one. I really dont mind going to bars or dance clubs, and usually have a really good time! I do have a preference for bars though because they re more intimate and relaxed, but again in INFJ style i much prefer taking a close friend along. 

My personality is split about 60/40 -60% introverted and 40% extroverted. I guess im not a complete introvert then.


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## Mutatio NOmenis

I need to meet NF's. Is college a good place?


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## asbreathingflows

mortabunt said:


> I need to meet NF's. Is college a good place?


Hell yes! Most of my friends pre-University were S-types, in fact I don't think I ever really had a 'deep' discussion with someone in the entirety of high school. Uni/College however is great for meeting other NF types (at least in my experience) - as long as you have the confidence to say hi and take the time to get to really know people you will meet some seriously awesome people


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## pianopraze

annemarie said:


> Most of my friends are SP's or SJ's and I find it very difficult talking to them about my deepest feelings.
> 
> I was working as a civil servant about a year ago and experienced alot of stress and lost confidence in myself.
> 
> (In typical INFJ style ) I withdraw from socialising with people and spent more time with my sister, with whom I am very close.
> 
> My friends have not really reached out to me or offered much support. I am very dissapointed and quite hurt, especially because I always listen and empathise with their problems.
> 
> I was wondering what sort of places to go to meet other NF idealists? There are no Idealists in my family and I have NO idealist friends! :crying: I really want friends with whom I can be myself and share my feelings with.


I totally hear you. Not sure I have met anther INFP in real life... ever. I have no clue how there can be so many on here...



Evolyptic said:


> *and you don't meet INFPs, they don't exist in the real world.*


your not kidding. There are some sites that say INFJ are a little more rare.. but I've sure met a lot more INFJ than INFP.

Maybe we're all hiding in our homes or pretending to be ESTJ....


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## Mutatio NOmenis

I don't know if I've ever met any real world INFP's. I would like to. Until then, get an NT friend of the opposite gender who is attracted to you. They should give you enough attention.


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## matilda

NFs in charity places? Really? :shocked:

Maybe NFJs?


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## Charlie

matilda said:


> NFs in charity places? Really? :shocked:
> 
> Maybe NFJs?


I'm an ENFP and I dig charity work. But whether that's the same for my type, idk...?

I need some more NF's in my life. I value their minds and hearts... I have a hard time meeting fellow NF's. Yet, if I think someone is interesting, I like to just walk up and say "hey, what's up I'm an ENFP and I'm awesome." (not really, but hey it would be cool if I did...):tongue:


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## starri

mortabunt said:


> I need to meet NF's. Is college a good place?


I met most of the NFs and NTs I know at uni. The behaviour difference between the Ss and the Ns makes it really obvious which is which.

Social/cultural groups have alot of ENFs.
Charity groups have alot of NFJs.
Debate groups have alot of NTs.
The journal at uni is headed by an ENFP.

out of all these INFPs are the hardest to find. I know 2 irl and one of them is a relative of a close friend.


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## Spooky

alizée said:


> out of all these INFPs are the hardest to find.


We are lurking in the shadows.


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## thehigher

Shadow said:


> We are lurking in the shadows.


Ya no joke. I am currently in a shadow right now.


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## Buffichar

I'm INFP and right now I like being at home I went out yesterday and got tackled in the street. Some people rough housing and widdle me got smacked into the pavement. Now this is not a daily occurrence for me but it kind of highlights how I feel about crowded places I don't have to be in. 
I can only speak for myself but I wouldn't go to a crowded place (overly crowded) unless I have to. So chances they could very well be going to all the places you go to difference is we'd probably get in and get out very quickly and be lurking by ourselves ( so you won't see us) Or hanging out with friends (so you'd ignore us)
:blushed: It's a tricky thing. Pick a book reading club or a poetry thing. Then scan around. I'm sure you'll find one just be persistent.


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## pianopraze

Shadow said:


> We are lurking in the shadows.


lol!



thehigher said:


> Ya no joke. I am currently in a shadow right now.


...did that sound gay?.....:crazy:



Buffichar said:


> I can olny speak fro myself but I wouldn't got a crowded place (overly crowded) unless I have to. So chances they could very well be going to all the places you go to difference is we'd probably get in and get out very quickly and be lurking by ourselves ( so you won't see us) Or hanging out with friends (so you'd ignore us)


AMEN!!!!!!!!!!

*ahem*... uh... I agree!

Hate crowded places, usually by myself when in public, and if I'm with a group I'm the one that no one is paying attention to... unless I am the center of attention, forced there by some well meaning person who wants my skills recognized.. and at those times I flip and am acting extroverted... but it feels like I"m being forced there and quickly slip out when I get a chance.

That's the funny thing about us INFPs, we have mad skills because we spend time alone honing them... take playing the piano for instance... so we then get pushed [quite literally, often] onto stage people are awed, then want to recognize us for our skills [which involves socializing... *ugh*]... but we just want to quietly slip away and get back to our piano at home.....

Another reason I hate socializing is I hate blithely bantering bout inane subjects I have no interest in that are obligatory in social context but ultimately say nothing, mean nothing, and are a grand waste of time.... yet all you E's live for!!! If it gets to issues then I happily engage, but I don't want to create conflict so when the debate gets heated I want to withdraw. So I either flip to ESTJ or retreat back to my cave.

I envy you E's.... sometimes.... then I get over it and glad I'm who I am.


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## thehigher

K I have a new one. Go to scene shows. I think a lot of infp's are actually into going to rock concerts and such. Yes we may look like ESTJ's or ENFP's but just wait. Also, in college....look for people who either major or minor in music or psychology....or something weird and metaphysical


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## Charlie

Anyone check the zoo? (not necessarily in the zoo as an exhibit, but ya know, walking around...:crazy


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## thehigher

Charlie said:


> Anyone check the zoo? (not necessarily in the zoo as an exhibit, but ya know, walking around...:crazy


haha no joke. I love zoooos!


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## Charlie

thehigher said:


> haha no joke. I love zoooos!



I know! me too.... I just got back from visiting kittens in an animal shelters and I'm planning a zoo trip shortly! :laughing:


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## thehigher

Charlie said:


> I know! me too.... I just got back from visiting kittens in an animal shelters and I'm planning a zoo trip shortly! :laughing:


I had a pet crab once named mr crabs. He latched onto my sock (I was playing with him) and I started swirling him around on it. He held on for like 5 minutes before ...well....you know.....he hit the wal


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## pianopraze

Charlie said:


> I know! me too.... I just got back from visiting kittens in an animal shelters and I'm planning a zoo trip shortly! :laughing:


Me and my son recently at the zoo......


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## Mikbert

pianopraze said:


> Me and my son recently at the zoo......


Is that you to the left, behind the glas? xD


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## pianopraze

Mikbert said:


> Is that you to the left, behind the glas? xD




















some of you are really quite observant


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## snail

Silhouetree said:


> Internet...:frustrating:
> 
> I think I see eHarmony in my future.


I hate living in the kind of world where guys like you are not instantly considered the most desirable potential mates. :sad: You should never have to feel lonely or unloved. 

We INFPs are the least likely to find love, but tend to derive the most satisfaction from harmonious relationships if we do manage to find them. It's not fair.


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## pianopraze

snail said:


> I hate living in the kind of world where guys like you are not instantly considered the most desirable potential mates. :sad: You should never have to feel lonely or unloved.
> 
> We INFPs are the least likely to find love, but tend to derive the most satisfaction from harmonious relationships if we do manage to find them. It's not fair.


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## imru2

This is really sad. :sad:

As I'm reading this, I'm afraid that all us INFPs are standing out on the sidelines, lurking, people-watching, and waiting to run into others like us. But even if we did, (like the bookstore reference) we'd notice one another (maybe!), but be too shy/nervous/scared/whatever of approaching. 

Are we seriously always just one graze away from meeting one another? That is really quite depressing. I'd hate to think that there is another INFP that goes to the grocery store that I do, sees me nervously purusing the aisles for dinner, shyfully avoiding loud people, acting very much like a mouse, and wishes they could meet me because they want to know someone else who was an INFP. 

I don't think I've ever met another INFP in real life. This is very saddening to me. :crying:


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