# Anyone Else Having a Hard Time with Duals?



## myst91 (Sep 9, 2014)

Kyusaku said:


> Behaviors mainly, I know people of both types. While I find SLE more fascinating and exotic, I am able to better understand LSE and get along with them, by quite a stretch. Still, I find the LSE I know not well adjusted, immature, while I see SLE as too different and unrelatable to form any meaningful judgment.


OK now I'm curious, what kind of behaviours do you find fascinating in SLE that's unrelatable at the same time?


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## Kyusaku (Mar 18, 2014)

myst91 said:


> OK now I'm curious, what kind of behaviours do you find fascinating in SLE that's unrelatable at the same time?


Being experimental in a concrete way. I like to tinker with ideas, but I find the tangible outside world bland, and I deal with it extremely formally, I get very little enjoyment out of my interaction with that environment. On the other hand SLE seem to channel a lot of their energy from it. They seem to find so much enjoyment out of discovering that space, I'm envious to be honest.


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## Bash (Nov 19, 2014)

emberfly said:


> I met my dual recently )
> 
> She was the first ESFP I ever liked. When I was younger, I just viewed esfps as "bad" kids because they did very, very poorly in school and preferred socializing to learning. And didn't care about their grades.
> 
> But this time when I met my dual, there was a ~20 year age gap. And she had her shit together! She was lovely. Probably the best teacher I've ever had.


Sounds like a superb synopsis for an adult short story.


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## Zamyatin (Jun 10, 2014)

My best friend is SEE (9w8). It's funny, because our initial interactions were exactly like most dual encounters; I thought he was unremarkable and he thought I was kind of boring. We only started interacting because he was a close friend of a guy I've known for over a decade, and so he was always around. But after a bit, it became obvious that we "clicked", which on the surface seemed very weird as we're nearly direct opposites of each other. These days, we spend at least a couple Saturday nights a month in town enjoying the nightlife or watching horror films with some craft beer.

The most interesting part is neither of us really change, other than we both seem to relax more easily when we're around each other. It's like we both understand the other instinctively. Just a couple of weeks ago, he mentioned that it was weird that we're such good friends, as we're basically polar opposites. He's laid back and underachieving, happy so long as he has enough money for beer, weed and video games, and I'm an overachieving workaholic that sleeps an average of 6 hours a night. And none of that has changed; he's no less an underachiever since we became friends and I'm no less type A than before. But despite those radical differences, we have a very relaxed friendship. _Fluid_ is the adjective that comes to mind. I don't have to explain what I mean when I say something and neither does he, because we both know exactly what the other means when we say something, and as a result there's no tension or friction between us.


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## myst91 (Sep 9, 2014)

Kyusaku said:


> Being experimental in a concrete way. I like to tinker with ideas, but I find the tangible outside world bland, and I deal with it extremely formally, I get very little enjoyment out of my interaction with that environment. On the other hand SLE seem to channel a lot of their energy from it. They seem to find so much enjoyment out of discovering that space, I'm envious to be honest.


And why isn't this Se dual seeking function for you?


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## Kyusaku (Mar 18, 2014)

myst91 said:


> And why isn't this Se dual seeking function for you?


My relationships make a lot more sense that way actually. I thought the oddity came from other factors, I didn't took mistyping as seriously as I should have. Does it affect MBTI as well ?


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## myst91 (Sep 9, 2014)

Kyusaku said:


> My relationships make a lot more sense that way actually. I thought the oddity came from other factors, I didn't took mistyping as seriously as I should have. Does it affect MBTI as well ?


Ooh maybe an IEI there?  MBTI is its own system with somewhat different definitions.


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## Kyusaku (Mar 18, 2014)

myst91 said:


> Ooh maybe an IEI there?  MBTI is its own system with somewhat different definitions.


You nailed it... :blushed: 

Thank you, this actually solves a lot more problem than I was willing to admit. Concerning MBTI, I find its definitions a bit too shaky, I have some more thinking to do about it.


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## myst91 (Sep 9, 2014)

Kyusaku said:


> You nailed it... :blushed:
> 
> Thank you, this actually solves a lot more problem than I was willing to admit. Concerning MBTI, I find its definitions a bit too shaky, I have some more thinking to do about it.


Lol glad to help (possibly your dual here  ). Yeah there's many threads here on MBTI vs socionics.


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## Kyusaku (Mar 18, 2014)

myst91 said:


> Lol glad to help (possibly your dual here  ). Yeah there's many threads here on MBTI vs socionics.


Hey there, nice to meet you ! :kitteh: 

I am mistyped in MBTI as well. Thinking about my way of functioning it makes sense. I feel struck by the most obvious and plain thing, it's a bit embarrassing. Triple check this new data is the least I can do to keep some glimmer of integrity.

If you hadn't came by like you did I would still be knee deep in misconceptions. I'm grateful for that, thanks !


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## myst91 (Sep 9, 2014)

Kyusaku said:


> Hey there, nice to meet you ! :kitteh:
> 
> I am mistyped in MBTI as well. Thinking about my way of functioning it makes sense. I feel struck by the most obvious and plain thing, it's a bit embarrassing. Triple check this new data is the least I can do to keep some glimmer of integrity.
> 
> If you hadn't came by like you did I would still be knee deep in misconceptions. I'm grateful for that, thanks !


Nice to meet you too hehe & No worries


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## NTlazerman (Nov 28, 2014)

I can't really stand my duals. Not the worst possible combo though, but still at the very bottom. I generally don't like people which' weaknesses are the things I'm good at in this sense. That said, I've never liked the socionics' view on relationships. It seems that the dual formula works for creating an effective workforce, but really nothing else. After work, bye bye duals. We share no interests.

Intuitives pair intuitives. Ethicals pair ethicals. That works way better.


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## westlose (Oct 9, 2014)

NTlazerman said:


> I can't really stand my duals. Not the worst possible combo though, but still at the very bottom. I generally don't like people which' weaknesses are the things I'm good at in this sense. That said, I've never liked the socionics' view on relationships. It seems that the dual formula works for creating an effective workforce, but really nothing else. After work, bye bye duals. We share no interests.
> 
> Intuitives pair intuitives. Ethicals pair ethicals. That works way better.


I agree, my best relationships were with NFs... ENFj and INFj mostly...


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## Kyusaku (Mar 18, 2014)

Any good methods to break the ice between duals ? As an introvert, I find my extroverted dual intimidating at first, seemingly to high for me to reach. Once it gets going everything flows naturally, but before that is tricky. I'm way too self conscious because I hold my dual in high esteem.


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## Anony (Jul 13, 2010)

I wonder if duals are as "magical" as they're supposed to be.

I type LII, which makes me a Socionics INTj (thus LII). That makes sense because I'm an MBTI INTP and, as a rule of thumb (but not always), types will be the same in the two systems except that the j and p will be swapped for introverts (lower case is intentional, as Socionics types they lower case the last letter to indicate its different meaning from in the MBTI).

But, my Socionics Dual, the EFE (ESFj), is uncommon online but common in the general population, and while I usually enjoy what contact I have with them, most INTX's will be very unconventional and ESFj's don't tend to be accepting of very unconventional people, including me. I have more luck in gaining acceptance from semi-dual ENFj's.

I do seek out Fe in people, as Model A predicts, wanting exactly what Socionic literature predicts, the need to have someone express a desire to hear about me and an ability and willingness to make me feel comfortable. And the Fe dominant types will express that, and will to most people especially if they seem to need it. But in terms of relating at a significant level, my experience has been that my semi-duals will have more willingness to get to know me for all my weirdness than my duals will.


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## Captain Mclain (Feb 22, 2014)

Id say they are quite magical but very hard to start, especially as the introvert part. Almost impossible haha. The activating relations is pretty good too and lots easier to start. Strangely Contrary relations is extremely easy to start but not good at all in the long run. :th_o:


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## Anony (Jul 13, 2010)

Captain Mclain said:


> Id say they are quite magical but very hard to start, especially as the introvert part. Almost impossible haha. The activating relations is pretty good too and lots easier to start. Strangely Contrary relations is extremely easy to start but not good at all in the long run. :th_o:


Well, I can definitely imagine how rewarding a really good friendship with an ESE who really liked me could be for me, thus magical in that sense. But while maybe ESE's just tend to hide their affinity for the Ti/Ne I (and my fellow LII's) can provide-- perhaps because they like to appear conventional-- they just come across as not all that interested in those sorts of conversation.

I have a birthday coming up soon, and a very good (though out of town) EIE (semi-dual) friend is coming to help me celebrate it, and her close ESE friend, who's also somewhat of a friend of mine, is coming from not as far to meet up with us.

The ESE is very good for me, because the one problem with the EIE is that our conversations can get too serious and sad, while the ESE keeps things lighter and more cheery. But I couldn't imagine the ESE being as close to me as the EIE is, as I feel I have so little to offer her, while the EIE seems more interested in the deeper thoughts I have, even as she, in theory, has little use for my secondary Ne. I can see how the ESE could offer me more, but also that she would keep some distance, as she does, because I feel I have less to offer her.


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## Typhon (Nov 13, 2012)

Anony said:


> Well, I can definitely imagine how rewarding a really good friendship with an ESE who really liked me could be for me, thus magical in that sense. But while maybe ESE's just tend to hide their affinity for the Ti/Ne I (and my fellow LII's) can provide-- perhaps because they like to appear conventional-- they just come across as not all that interested in those sorts of conversation.
> 
> I have a birthday coming up soon, and a very good (though out of town) EIE (semi-dual) friend is coming to help me celebrate it, and her close ESE friend, who's also somewhat of a friend of mine, is coming from not as far to meet up with us.
> 
> The ESE is very good for me, because the one problem with the EIE is that our conversations can get too serious and sad, while the ESE keeps things lighter and more cheery. But I couldn't imagine the ESE being as close to me as the EIE is, as I feel I have so little to offer her, while the EIE seems more interested in the deeper thoughts I have, even as she, in theory, has little use for my secondary Ne. I can see how the ESE could offer me more, but also that she would keep some distance, as she does, because I feel I have less to offer her.


Relationships are rarely founded solely on sociotype compatibility and the people we clique with are often not duals, quadra members etc.


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## Captain Mclain (Feb 22, 2014)

Typhon said:


> Relationships are rarely founded solely on sociotype compatibility and the people we clique with are often not duals, quadra members etc.


I have seen patterns with which types I tend to attract ect.


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## Typhon (Nov 13, 2012)

Captain Mclain said:


> I have seen patterns with which types I tend to attract ect.



Could be more specific in terms of what you mean though? Like, which types have you attratced, and how?


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