# I just installed a bidet on my toilet



## Amine (Feb 23, 2014)

A few days ago I discovered that it is possible to purchase a highly reviewed bidet for under $40 from Amazon. I had always thought this required an entirely separate system, but no; you can buy an add-on for your toilet, hook it up to the water supply, and enjoy some ass-blasting with almost no trouble at all.

So it just arrived, and I have now installed it successfully. Unfortunately I currently do not have to poop, and will have to wait at least a few hours before I can give it an inaugural run. I did, however, turn it on and test the water pressure. I had always assumed it would be like a drinking-fountain level of pressure, and was unconvinced that this would get the job of clearing away doodoo accomplished. This thing has some real power, though. I doubt I will even use the full strength. There's a dial you can adjust the pressure with. Presumably maximum setting would feel kinda like blasting a firehose up there. 

I've always found toilet paper quite annoying. Especially on those shits where it just never seems to get clear, and by the time it does, you're left with a chapped asshole due to basically rubbing it with what amounts to sand paper. So here's to a healthy anus. If I like this thing, that is. I shall post results in the coming hours and days. Wish me luck.


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## Gossip Goat (Nov 19, 2013)

Lmao, this is random as heck. BUT I HAVE ONE TOO! Both a separate appliance and the hose type thing. Bidet > TP. Even in public rest rooms I either get wipes or take a ball of toilet paper and water it down. 

#Bidetcrew4ever

I honestly don't understand people who don't use them, I've never not used them. I can't _not_ use them. (Excuse the quadruple negatives)


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## Amine (Feb 23, 2014)

Ok so I took a crap and used my new bidet. I like it, but I'm gonna need to traverse the learning curve a bit. 

Some things I took note of:

1. I did use the full setting. This was adequate, no complaints.
2. Still used some toilet paper after to dry off and check quality of cleaning job. It was pretty good, not quite perfect, but I was kinda freaked out so I think I probably shoulda just kept blasting a little longer.
3. I was impressed with the aim, they really figured out what trajectory to use and where people's assholes tend to be located and everything. Nonetheless, you do have to move around a little so as to get the water to find the perfect angle to get inside the hole, not just around it. 
4. It did kinda get my taint and back of my balls wet. Just dried them off though so I guess that's no big deal. I may improve my accuracy with practice.
5. Asshole feels good right now. Fresh, rejuvenated. The water is coldish, which actually feels kinda nice. Then again, it seems like warm water would give an even better clean. Either way I think the feeling of water is pretty refreshing.
6. Wondering what cleaning it will be like, and how often I will do it. Probably not too bad, a few minutes every few days just to be more than enough.


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## TheProphetLaLa (Aug 18, 2014)

LOL! Keeping them assholes fresh.


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## Amine (Feb 23, 2014)

Indeed! The asshole is a very important body part. It's a thankless job, being an anus. 

One of my transhumanist dreams is that one day I shall no longer have to deal with pooping at all. I think in Star Trek they probably just beam turds straight from people's lower intestines into space. Or perhaps nanobots eat the turd and recycle the matter or something. You never see bathrooms in that show.


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## Diogenes (Jun 30, 2011)

This is amazing, I feel like an 18th century explorer observing hunter-gatherers while they're trying to understand how mirrors work.


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## Jagbas (Jul 8, 2015)

I can't live without the bidet. Especially in winter days at 6 am when I have to crawl out of bed and it's definitely too cold to go totally naked for a shower. Half/half is the choice.


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## RacerBoy (Mar 17, 2015)

I am going to setting onto my toilet as well. Will update your what's going on.


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## Dao (Sep 13, 2013)

My cheeks are flushed with excitement just hearing about it.


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## Roman Empire (Oct 22, 2014)

Huge fan of a bidet. Just putting paper down there without water, is like trying to rinse the floor from peanutbutter with a dry paper, just massaging it around on the floor 

So grats with your bidet. Wish I had one too. For now I'll make my paper wet, and remove it that way.


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## telepariah (Jun 20, 2011)

Hurray for the washlet!


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## Morpheus83 (Oct 17, 2008)

Say goodbye to skid marks in our underwear


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## Reluctanine (May 11, 2014)

OMG BIDETS ARE ONE OF THE BEST INVENTIONS OF ALL TIME!

Like seriously, if poop landed on your arm, would you just wipe it away with toilet paper? NO! You would use water. Bidets help with that.

And if you have girls in your home, they save on toilet paper money, because all you have to do is use a small piece to wipe after peeing and pooping instead of constantly wiping a few times until it's all clean.

AND when that time of the month starts for girls, it's a life-saver. Seriously. End up feeling all fresh and nice. Easier to clean. Just everything! If only I had a bidet in my home as a teenager growing up, life would have been so much easier!

Also, you can move your butt so the bidet cleans directly on the spot you want it to.

I installed the bidet in my home. There's youtube videos on how to do it. It's really simple! Just connect it to an existing pipe that goes to the toilet.

People on the fence about a bidet, it's totally worth it.










BIDET FOR PRESIDENT 2015!


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## Jagbas (Jul 8, 2015)

For all the girls in this thread: it may be off topic but the second best invention after the bidet its the menstrual cup. Please please give it a try!! I'm in love with it!! I would NEVER go back to tampons and pads!


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## ponyjoyride (May 7, 2010)

Bidet is definitely one of my favourite inventions. I wouldn't even know anymore how to wipe my ass without one.

I'm a fan of the menstrual cup too. That combined with the bidet makes menstruating so much more pleasant.


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## stiletto (Oct 26, 2013)

I'd like to know more about how to keep the bidet installment clean and it's maintenance as well. Fancy a link to the one you purchased?


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## Amine (Feb 23, 2014)

stiletto said:


> I'd like to know more about how to keep the bidet installment clean and it's maintenance as well. Fancy a link to the one you purchased?


There's a link to it in the OP. As for cleaning I will probably just use rubbing alcohol or clorox wipes or something, I am not sure.


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## Arzazar Szubrasznikarazar (Apr 9, 2015)

Here's my story about the horrible consequences of toilet paper abuse:

First, this happened:
http://personalitycafe.com/general-...ou-years-later-post16959514.html#post16959514
I ended up with stomach aches, having to defecate 6-8 times a day, bleedings from anus, etc.
When it began I would go to various diagnostics because it was a suspected to be a food poisoning or something like that. Then it was decided to be stress related.

I suffered every day for ~15 years. Found it almost impossible to get to school in time, because I had to go to defecate a second time just before going out. I couldn't keep a job because I'd end up going to toilet a lot and ultimately on some days unable to go out due to pain. Also, I had to abandon activities like weekend trips to forests, castles and other interesting places.

The worst thing was that almost no one understood my problems and expected miracles from me. I was punished financially and educationally for having health problems.

It ended mid-2013 when I had a discussion on internet forum with a shaver and they talked about how particles of faeces stick to hair. So, I decided that I need to start using soap. So, after using toilet paper, I'd use wet soaped paper towers and after cleaning myself that way I'd take a shower.

Suddenly, I stopped having regular anal bleeding and stomach aches oh, and my underwear stopped having stains (which is quite interesting how one is unable to figure out what needs to be done by oneself to stop having these stains. Though I used to think that they are blood D: ).
I was suddenly able to defecate only 2 times a day and function semi-normally again.


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

i got one too
best part is i can clean my gerbil and clean me bum at the same timeenguin:


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## telepariah (Jun 20, 2011)

My wife said she will buy me a portable hand held bidet for using in public restrooms next time she is in Japan.


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## Arzazar Szubrasznikarazar (Apr 9, 2015)

Arzazar Szubrasznikarazar said:


> Here's my story about the horrible consequences of toilet paper abuse:
> 
> First, this happened:
> http://personalitycafe.com/general-...ou-years-later-post16959514.html#post16959514
> ...


Just calculated this ordeal costed me about 120000 pln of lost incomes D: .


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## Cookie Monster (Nov 6, 2009)

My best friend remodeled his bathroom a couple years ago and got this really fancy bidet from Japan. It just feels so awesome after you use it. Apparently in Europe and Japan these things are standard, especially in nice hotels...why have they not caught on well in the US? My husband does not get it either apparently.

My friend said that he had to do something with the electrical wiring so that there was a place to plug in the seat near the toilet. Will have to look into the one from Amazon. Thanks for posting your experience.


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## RobynC (Jun 10, 2011)

@_Arzazar Szubrasznikarazar_



> I ended up with stomach aches, having to defecate 6-8 times a day, bleedings from anus, etc.
> When it began I would go to various diagnostics because it was a suspected to be a food poisoning or something like that. Then it was decided to be stress related.


It does look like irritable bowel syndrome



> It ended mid-2013 when I had a discussion on internet forum with a shaver and they talked about how particles of faeces stick to hair.


In the US we call 'em dingleberries...



> So, I decided that I need to start using soap. So, after using toilet paper, I'd use wet soaped paper towers and after cleaning myself that way I'd take a shower.


I'm confused -- doesn't wet paper naturally get rid of shit adequately without the need for a shower?

I usually do fine with regular toilet paper, though I've had moments where I found some water helped a bit (the whole rollers where you just keep wiping and wiping and wiping...)


@_Vinniebob_



> i got one too
> best part is i can clean my gerbil and clean me bum at the same timeenguin:


How did I know somebody was going to make a joke about that?

At least nobody posted the Ron White clip


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## Cover3 (Feb 2, 2011)

Holy shit, this could double as a drinking fountain. Genius.


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## Amine (Feb 23, 2014)

Theoretically the water is just normal tap water. Why not I guess. Maybe the nozzle gets dirty though.

I have had this thing for over a month now and I vastly prefer it to toilet paper. I'm not going to say I think it is perfect. My biggest complaint is the whole wet-ass thing. Nonetheless, now I only use 4 squares of toilet paper whereas before I would say I usually used 10-20. And my asshole just feels better as it is not constantly being rubbed with abrasive paper. Another thing I particularly like is not having to deal with the shit as much. I always found the idea of rubbing my asshole with some thin paper and then eyeballing the poop on it pretty nasty.

Now, one thing I'm going to have to mention. I use the bidet in 2 phases. The first phase tends to blast a little water up my ass and I have to shit it back out. I guess this is because my rectum still has some shit in it that it wants to let go of. Once I shit out the shitty water from my rectum of phase 1, I do phase 2 and water doesn't stay up there anymore. It's kinda bizarre and I don't understand it but that's just how it works. I didn't want to have to say this, but I feel a greater duty to be completely detailed about this experience. I mean, it's not that bad though.


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## Vahyavishdapaya (Sep 2, 2014)

These things are the shit.


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## Amelia (Aug 23, 2015)

I always freaked the fuck out when i'd go to a fancy hotel or rich friend's house and their toilet would unexpectedly shoot a stream of water up my ass. It wasn't a welcome sensation.


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## Amine (Feb 23, 2014)

Amelia said:


> I always freaked the fuck out when i'd go to a fancy hotel or rich friend's house and their toilet would unexpectedly shoot a stream of water up my ass. It wasn't a welcome sensation.


Unexpectedly?


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## darker (Aug 18, 2015)

Please people, install a classic bidet. Just like this one. :rolling:
You could also wash you feet or warm them up with water in winter without taking a shower.
It's really disturbing going abroad, maybe even while you're on your period, and when you enter your accomodation bathroom you are forced to have a full shower every time you need some water just down there. Problematic.


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## RobynC (Jun 10, 2011)

And here's the Ron White clip (NSFW / 18+ Only)


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