# Cougars On The Prowl



## Spooky (Oct 30, 2008)

'Cougars' on the prowl

What is it about some older women that is so attractive? Is it their maturity? Their experience? I know I wasn't the only boy who had crushes on my friends' moms growing up, as well as my teachers. 

Guys, do you ever see a woman who is more advanced in years and think to yourself, "I bet she could teach me a few things"?

_Tina Fey, anyone?_









_Ashton Kutcher knows where it's at._









_Say what you will about Mary Kay Letourneau, she is one sexy MILF. Junior got lucky! _ :shocked:


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

Cougars because they're more balanced than the young ones.


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## Spooky (Oct 30, 2008)

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> Cougars because they're more balanced than the young ones.


I don't think older women, in general, play as many 'games' as younger ones do. It's probably an issue of maturity, but I'm sure it depends on the individual.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

My boyfriend's only twenty. Does a single decade between us qualify me for the title, or would I have to be older to be a cougar? I know that if he were much younger, they'd have another, less desirable title for me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Spooky (Oct 30, 2008)

snail said:


> My boyfriend's only twenty. Does a single decade between us qualify me for the title, or would I have to be older to be a cougar? I know that if he were much younger, they'd have another, less desirable title for me.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm sorry. You're just a baby cougar.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

So cute.
I agree that I heavily dislike the games that younger women play with dating and such. Just cut the pretensions and I'll be more willing too cooperate.


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## Spooky (Oct 30, 2008)

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> So cute.
> I agree that I heavily dislike the games that younger women play with dating and such. Just cut the pretensions and I'll be more willing too cooperate.


Many of the women who give me attention IRL tend to be 30+. 

What can I say? I'm not an obnoxious, loudmouth jackass (in real life). Online is a different story.


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## Perseus (Mar 7, 2009)

*Cougar is ESTP on the Perseus Modern Animism*


The wildest cat from Montana passes by in a flash,
Then a lady in a bright orange dress,
One U-Haul trailer, a truck with no wheels,
The Tenth Avenue bus going west.

Home Page | Bob Dylan


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## Happy (Oct 10, 2008)

Your posting women who look like they are in their 20's and 30's not to mention the typical male fantasy type. You do know most cougars don't look like that.


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## Spooky (Oct 30, 2008)

Mad said:


> Your posting women who look like they are in their 20's and 30's not to mention the typical male fantasy type. You do know most cougars don't look like that.


Yes, I am aware that most women are not models, regardless of their age. I just posted a couple famous cougars and a hot picture of Tina Fey. It has more to do with their personalities gained through maturity than their physical appearance. Are you saying that you are never attracted to women who are 10-20 years older than you? Maybe I'm just a freak.


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## Happy (Oct 10, 2008)

Dick said:


> Yes, I am aware that most women are not models, regardless of their age. I just posted a couple famous cougars and a hot picture of Tina Fey. It has more to do with their personalities gained through maturity than their physical appearance. Are you saying that you are never attracted to women who are 10-20 years older than you? Maybe I'm just a freak.


Are you kidding me? I think Halle Berry is one of the most beautiful women alive. Btw are you sure its about personality or their looks? :tongue:


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## Spooky (Oct 30, 2008)

Mad said:


> Are you kidding me? I think Halle Berry is one of the most beautiful women alive. Btw are you sure its about personality or their looks? :tongue:


There has to be a certain measure of physical attraction, but sexual attraction goes deeper than just appearance. I wouldn't "date" an older woman who I wasn't sexually attracted to, but I wouldn't date a younger one if I wasn't attracted to her either. It really depends on the individual.


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## Female INFJ (Feb 27, 2010)

Spooky said:


> 'Cougars' on the prowl
> 
> What is it about some older women that is so attractive? Is it their maturity? Their experience? I know I wasn't the only boy who had crushes on my friends' moms growing up, as well as my teachers.
> 
> Guys, do you ever see a woman who is more advanced in years and think to yourself, "I bet she could teach me a few things"?...


...Any Real Live Cougars on PerC?

(you can anonymously talk about it, just say you're talking about a 'friend' or something!) i'm not asking to point anyone out.

There is already a thread on younger guys being attracted to older ladies, however i think the Cougar element, is more than just dating younger men, is the 'active' pursuit, and the 'chase' being done by the woman...

I was once at this restaurant in a nice area by my house with my sister - and after work hours, the atmosphere kind of changed - we noticed lots of older ladies and younger guys, and a tension in the air! it wasn't our kind of scenery, however i did find it fascinating, these ladies were quite aggressive in their pursuits, and they seemed to hang out in packs - my sister says this seems to be a Cougar hang out - 

so do Cougars and young boys hang out in places that they are aware that this type of activity will be happening? Or maybe it was just a random business crowd...but it seems like there are 'places' for Cougars to hang.

I'm starting to get to know some younger men in my life - but it is not an active pursuit, I would not say I am a Cougar.



snail said:


> My boyfriend's only twenty. Does a single decade between us qualify me for the title, or would I have to be older to be a cougar? I know that if he were much younger, they'd have another, less desirable title for me.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


hi _snail _- you have some nice sensuous posts on Cafe, btw...From your sweet personality, I would not say this situation is a 'Cougar' situation - i think what is missing in the first post, is the nature of aggression, and pursuit, i think that is why the name 'Cougar' I guess for these ladies in active pursuit of young men. are you a Cougar? well i think you are with someone now - so maybe not in pursuit.

I know some men that are afraid of cougars, and stay away from them...I haven't met a guy yet who looks out for this type of woman. How does a Cougar find her prey?

I'm curious - I am a pursuer, but not a Cougar for sure...I just wanted to learn more about this, and the distinctions.


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## Krayonne (Jun 15, 2010)

I've been called one jokingly to my face, but in reality I was married for 12 years to a man 10 years younger and I haven't been in pursuit of anything for a very long time! 

That said, I look and feel much younger than my 44 years would let on, and do find myself attracted to younger men. I've wondered on occasion if it is just a subconscious attempt to freeze my age in the 30s somewhere. I still like to be goofy and act like a kid with my kids, and maybe I just know too many 40-50ish people who have become sedentary and too stuffy. I just find the vitality of a younger man energizing.

So, maybe I will be a cougar when I hit the dating scene again, if actively pursuing younger men is what defines "cougar".


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

I thought cougars were meant to be at least in their fifties and sixties, because someone in their fourties is not old. Besides, calling older women cougars just because they have an attraction to younger males is a double standard - it's far more common to find older men trying to find a younger woman, but we don't call them cougars and make jokes about them. The term MILF exists, yet the term FILF doesn't.


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## Krayonne (Jun 15, 2010)

skycloud86 said:


> I thought cougars were meant to be at least in their fifties and sixties, because someone in their fourties is not old. Besides, calling older women cougars just because they have an attraction to younger males is a double standard - it's far more common to find older men trying to find a younger woman, but we don't call them cougars and make jokes about them. The term MILF exists, yet the term FILF doesn't.


I like you. Rawrrrrr. : )

But seriously, I think the "Cougar Phenomenon" is really a breakdown of the stereotypes. What's good for the goose, eh? Finally, women are free to date men 10, 12 or more years younger. In another 10 years the label will go away, I suppose. We never had a label for men datng younger women - they were just "men'. Someday we will just be women. Maybe my grandkids will know a world where there are just "humans".


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

^That's really hopeful, thank you, I needed that.


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

Krayonne said:


> I've been called one jokingly to my face, but in reality I was married for 12 years to a man 10 years younger and I haven't been in pursuit of anything for a very long time!


Yup, I have an 18-year marriage but we've been separated two years or more and it essentially over at this point; legally we're still together for other reasons beside the relationship itself.



> That said, I look and feel much younger than my 44 years would let on, and do find myself attracted to younger men. I've wondered on occasion if it is just a subconscious attempt to freeze my age in the 30s somewhere. I still like to be goofy and act like a kid with my kids, and maybe I just know too many 40-50ish people who have become sedentary and too stuffy. I just find the vitality of a younger man energizing.


Same here with my 41 years, I have a lot of friends in their 20's and 30's online, who think I'm about 28-30 based on my appearance and spirit, and when they find out my age they're shocked. I am cut of similar mold to a great aunt of mine who even in her 80's was nothing like my ancient grandmother and the other rather stodgy sisters, this was back in the 80's and early 90's, and she had a CD player and a walkman and worked out and dressed tastefully but with flair and she seemed very very young and could talk to anyone of any age. I thought she was wonderful.

I am quirky and goofy on the surface and my kids love that. I've dated someone 6 years younger than me but we seemed equivalent in age. Older men scare me a bit because they all seem stodgy and flat, at least the ones I've met, I don't want some OLDER guy in spirit, I need someone timeless. The only things that are weird for me is (1) the possibility of dating someone close in age to my kids, that just would feel odd to me and (2) guys who might be great guys but haven't gotten a lot of life experience and yet and thus perspective. I have been through a LOT in life and it has given me a very rich nuanced perspective, and I could deal with a younger guy only if he had somehow been tempered as well or was wise/profound beyond his years. I need someone I see as "equal" to me and who I can depend on.

But I like hanging out with younger guys, regardless -- they're a lot of fun. 

As far as the notorious aspects of cougars go, I've also found I'm a far more sensual/sexual creature now than I was ten or twenty years ago, oddly enough. It took me that long to ease up and also learn to live in and enjoy my body. I don't really have hangups now. I also know what I want in a relationship, and I'm not going to lead a guy on if I know it's not going to work.



Krayonne said:


> But seriously, I think the "Cougar Phenomenon" is really a breakdown of the stereotypes. What's good for the goose, eh? Finally, women are free to date men 10, 12 or more years younger. In another 10 years the label will go away, I suppose. We never had a label for men datng younger women - they were just "men'. Someday we will just be women. Maybe my grandkids will know a world where there are just "humans".






mutatio said:


> That's really hopeful, thank you, I needed that.


*tickle*


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## RobinsonCrusoe (Nov 25, 2009)




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