# Can men explain the psychology in their minds on sending a dick pic?



## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

No like I’m actually curious why men like as a collective group often (not saying all individuals) not just happen to but often really truly seem to frequently want to send a picture of their penis (often random) to women.

I’m not just speaking to my experience. I know of many many women who have received dick pics really random.

But considering this is often something jokes are made about everywhere, don’t men get embarrassed to be ‘that guy’?

What do they expect to achieve by this? Are they expecting the counter response to go well?

* I’m not talking about long term couples who randomly add extra sauce and sext and send photos to each other.


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## Flabarac Brupip (May 9, 2020)

Fuck if I know. I never understood it myself.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Ock said:


> Fuck if I know. I never understood it myself.


Do guys ever talk about this amongst each other? Have you ever heard a man talk about it?


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## Flabarac Brupip (May 9, 2020)

Sensational said:


> Do guys ever talk about this amongst each other?


I suppose some do, but my guy friends and I never have.


Sensational said:


> Have you ever heard a man talk about it?


Not once......And its not like all men I've been friends with have been pristine vanilla creatures either.


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## Scoobyscoob (Sep 4, 2016)

I find it to be unfair to characterize all men as being the same when it comes to sending unsolicited dick pics, when I've never sent anyone a picture of my penis before. Not even to my wife. 😂 I mean, it's not like she doesn't already know the size, shape and appearance of my cock, so why would I be sending her pictures to boot? As a sort of reminder of, "Hey, this is part of who you married and you're going to get some later." 🤣

Ahhh, but seriously though. I've never done it and the guys I know who do send dick pics because they did so in the past and it worked in getting them laid. So they continue doing it, not realizing that only a tiny minority of women would interpret receiving a dick pic as, "I want to have sex with this man.". 😂


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

@Scoobyscoob: I definitely don’t think all of you do this. I’m asking you all because maybe you know men who talk about doing this, even if you personally don’t. Which you did actually have some insight. I really didn’t even know that worked for some of them, until you just explained it.

You guys are helping me understand better by explaining things I wouldn’t know as A female, on if it’s talked about and why?


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## Handsome Dyke (Oct 4, 2012)

It's just another version of flashing people: a form of sexual harassment, likely half-justified with the assumption that women experience something very similar to what men experience when seeing naked body parts in a sexual context.


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## Scoobyscoob (Sep 4, 2016)

Sensational said:


> @Scoobyscoob: I definitely don’t think all of you do this. I’m asking you all because maybe you know men who talk about dot this even if you personally don’t. Which you did actually have some insight. I really didn’t even know that worked for me until you just explained it.


Yeah, the kind of woman who would get down with someone who sent them a dick pic usually isn't the type of woman who hangs around on the internet much. She's usually out living life and it'd be rare to come across a woman who'd be interested in a purely sexual encounter from exchanging explicit photos. I have had a woman ask me for my dick pic before which I did not do and instead sent her some joke pictures instead, but that's because I'm careful and somewhat concerned about not circulating potentially embarrassing pictures of myself on the internet. 😂

I edited that out because that may have been TMI. 🤣


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I’ve had like random guys I’ve known from like highschool out of no where send me dick pics. I didn’t in anyway even suggest to them an interest in seeing their penis out of no where. And I know alotta women who have received similar pics.

@Scoobyscoob & @Ock on behalf of women everywhere, thank you for not sending a picture of your penis unsolicited. 🤣. Has absolutely had nothing to do with sizes, shapes, etc. it’s just really fucken disturbing to receive dick pics like I said to a fricken FB messenger etc outta left field.

Now I know from Scoobys input that apparently this strategy works for some dudes? Wtf 🤣.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Saiyed Handsome **** said:


> It's just another version of flashing people: a form of sexual harassment, likely half-justified with the assumption that women experience something very similar to what men experience when seeing naked body parts in a sexual context.


I guess I never equated the two until you mentioned it.

Back when I was like 16-17 I had a streaking faze. I never really had considered I was making anyone feel uncomfortable in my behavior until you just compared the two.


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## Scoobyscoob (Sep 4, 2016)

Sensational said:


> I’ve had like random guys I’ve known from like highschool out of no where send me dick pics. I didn’t in anyway even suggest to them an interest in seeing their penis out of no where. And I know alotta women who have received similar pics.
> 
> @Scoobyscoob & @Ock on behalf of women everywhere, thank you for not sending a picture of your penis unsolicited. 🤣. Has absolutely had nothing to do with sizes, shapes, etc. it’s just really fucken disturbing to receive dick pics like I said to a fricken FB messenger etc outta left field.
> 
> Now I know from Scoobys input that apparently this strategy works for some dudes? Wtf 🤣.


Yeah it's an issue that women have to face a lot more than men do. I'm friends with a female ISTP who would share with me her experiences with online dating and I'd watch her to do her thing on the computer and every time a guy sent her a dick pic she'd angrily delete the message or if was angry/annoyed enough would reply back that she would never have sex with someone with such a small penis, or oddly shaped, or a certain color, etc. Sometimes the guy would respond back, obviously excited then hurt about the response and they'd get into hours long fights because some dude sent her a dick pic and she responded back angrily and with a lot of insults. 😂 Her experience got a lot better after I offered to screen her messages first so she wouldn't come across yet another dick pic that did nothing for her except anger/annoy her. 🤣

Oh, for sure and I know how much of a problem it is with women and even just being online.

Yeah, it's a bit of a shotgun approach to playing the field, but it works for some dudes. Especially if the guy is physically attractive as well. In those cases it's because the guy is attractive and the dick pic is just to make sure there're no surprises down there. I think it's the unsolicited part that upsets women, moreso than the picture itself, IMO.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Scoobyscoob said:


> Yeah it's an issue that women have to face a lot more than men do. I'm friends with a female ISTP who would share with me her experiences with online dating and I'd watch her to do her thing on the computer and every time a guy sent her a dick pic she'd angrily delete the message or if was angry/annoyed enough would reply back that she would never have sex with someone with such a small penis, or oddly shaped, or a certain color, etc. Sometimes the guy would respond back, obviously excited then hurt about the response and they'd get into hours long fights because some dude sent her a dick pic and she responded back angrily and with a lot of insults. 😂 Her experience got a lot better after I offered to screen her messages first so she wouldn't come across yet another dick pic that did nothing for her except anger/annoy her. 🤣
> 
> Oh, for sure and I know how much of a problem it is with women and even just being online.
> 
> Yeah, it's a bit of a shotgun approach to playing the field, but it works for some dudes. Especially if the guy is physically attractive as well. In those cases it's because the guy is attractive and the dick pic is just to make sure there're no surprises down there. I think it's the unsolicited part that upsets women, moreso than the picture itself, IMO.


My sister reacts the same as your friend. The arguing etc 🤣.

The last clip Id gotten recently to my FB messenger made me gag. It was so gross. Not because it was a penis. But there was like zero prior context that lead there. And all of a sudden I’m just looking at a penis a bunch of pubes and their like 4 shots of their cum. Yuck. Why would I want to just see a penis, with no face or body or conversation attached to it. And then see the cum. Again there’s nothing behind it. It grossed me out. I think I shuddered and gagged. I don’t reply though. I just delete and block.

I remember someone I’d had a fling with did send me a dick pic out of no where like a year later. I was like… Send me another one and I’ll send it to all our friends and say you harass women with your dick. So in his case we had already had a fling so a tad different. But still ew hadn’t spoke to this person in quite sometime.

I think it’s gross. I have to actually have an emotional attraction to someone to be aroused by someone sending nudes. Which is obviously like actively with the person. I can’t just look at a genital random and be aroused.


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## thedazzlingdexter (12 mo ago)

Sensational said:


> No like I’m actually curious why men like as a collective group often (not saying all individuals) not just happen to but often really truly seem to frequently want to send a picture of their penis (often random) to women.
> 
> I’m not just speaking to my experience. I know of many many women who have received dick pics really random.
> 
> ...


I think males and females often views things in a different light.
I think most of these males who do this would be thrilled if they got a chick sending them random tit pics.
Most females do not appreciate it though and view this as disgusting and harassment.
Often men do not understand female etiquette

Than you have people who are less interested in sex entirely and so they might seem polite
but really they just have little interest or are just completely bewildered by this whole part of the human experience
Like me through most of puberty wondering

You ever wonder why gay men and females is a thing?

Since the gay man is less likely to be overtly sexual for no apparent reason like this and so the woman is less likely to be alarmed and run off


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## DOGSOUP (Jan 29, 2016)

This is probably a subset of these dudes, of the ones who genuinely enjoy shocked reactions (aka flashers), for some it is also a humiliation thing too like - some pics I got were attached to "pwease tell me how tiny it is" and I'm thinking... do I seem the type to...?


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## Flabarac Brupip (May 9, 2020)

The men that do this are low life vermin.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

DOGSOUP said:


> This is probably a subset of these dudes, aside from the ones who genuinely enjoy shocked reactions (aka flashers), for some it is also a humiliation thing too like - some pics I got were attached to "pwease tell me how tiny it is" and I'm thinking... do I seem the type to...?


I never understood the cockshaming subset, (those guys usually ask if they can send their cock and if you will shame it, at least they ask usually) that seems more like men screening for doms. At least that’s what I always have thought they were doing with that request. Considering I don’t even want to see pics of genitals unless I’m seeing the person, I definitely don’t want to spend time shaming a cock or dick rating. If I don’t even want to look at it, I definitely don’t want to sit and talk about it or assess it 🤣.


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## Scoobyscoob (Sep 4, 2016)

Sensational said:


> My sister reacts the same as your friend. The arguing etc 🤣.
> 
> The last clip Id gotten recently to my FB messenger made me gag. It was so gross. Not because it was a penis. But there was like zero prior context that lead there. And all of a sudden I’m just looking at a penis a bunch of pubes and their like 4 shots of their cum. Yuck. Why would I want to just see a penis, with no face or body or conversation attached to it. And then see the cum. Again there’s nothing behind it. It grossed me out. I think I shuddered and gagged. I don’t reply though. I just delete and block.
> 
> ...


Yeah, she's quite a character.

Yeah that's just weird and gross that someone would randomly send a dick pic like that. Not responding and just delete and blocking is probably the best way to approach random sexual pictures. Although I would be tempted to hurl an insult, but I'd probably refrain from doing so. I've had some dudes assume I was gay when I'm not, so yeah, not saying anything would be for the best.

Hm, yeah I don't really get why someone you had a fling with would randomly send you a dick pic. Maybe he thought you wouldn't react negatively since you already had a thing with him once. Who knows for sure though, maybe he's someone who doesn't really think of the consequences and just hit send. 🤷‍♂️

I agree, it's gross and I'm the same way regarding needing emotional attraction first before being turned on by nudes. I mean, I can appreciate a woman's body for its beauty but I probably wouldn't be too turned on unless the nudes were from my wife and she made it personal for me. We're both fairly conservative when it comes to sexuality though so I'm pretty sure she wouldn't really be too keen on making our private bedroom life, public. We're both pretty vanilla anyway.


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## recycled_lube_oil (Sep 30, 2021)

Even as a guy I don’t get it. Never something I have ever discussed or heard someone discussing though.

all I know is that if I venture onto OLD the fact I don’t send them or mention sex seems to surprise women. Must be pretty grim at times on OLD if that makes me stand out.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

recycled_lube_oil said:


> Even as a guy I don’t get it. Never something I have ever discussed or heard someone discussing though.
> 
> all I know is that if I venture onto OLD the fact I don’t send them or mention sex seems to surprise women. Must be pretty grim at times on OLD if that makes me stand out.


Yeah it’s definitely not every guy on a dating site. But probably at least %50 lead with a dick pic or trying some form of sexting within 3 minutes. Which I think is also strange. I mean if they are even trying to pick up a date and hope it leads somewhere, do that many women legitimately dating want to sext with someone they haven’t met and just spoke to for 5 minutes? Like does that lead to a date for those people?


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## Six (Oct 14, 2019)

Sensational said:


> Yeah it’s definitely not every guy on a dating site. But probably at least %50 lead with a dick pic or trying some form of sexting within 3 minutes. Which I think is also strange. I mean if they are even trying to pick up a date and hope it’s leads somewhere, do that many women legitimately dating want to sext with someone they haven’t met and just spoke to for 5 minutes? Like does that lead to a date for those people?


I think some guys want to own the terms of their own rejection, they want neither to be:

A. Cowed silently into never actually even trying with a girl who they want.
B. They don't want to put in the effort or thought to actually sincerely try, (because it's way more painful to sincerely put yourself out there and be rejected than to do it in a way which intentionally is setting up yourself to fail).

Like a case in point: 1.42

"Yo, yo, do you wanna get married?"
_"Yes!"_
"... ...I gotta... ..."

*Guy sits back down freaked out...*

_"...No?"_






In some ways the acceptance is almost more freaky than the rejection because that's how innured they are to it: Suddenly being accepted for a perverse, unacceptable behavior is more of a self-violation than to be rejected for your sincerest efforts I guess... ?


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## ENFPathetic (Apr 3, 2018)

Sensational said:


> And that’s not embarrassing at all for any of these men?


It is. But the the thing is, fear of embarrassment is a luxury men in general cannot afford to have. Shoot your shot or starve both sexually and romantically.


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## Squirt (Jun 2, 2017)

The weirdest one I remember didn't happen to me, but a friend. One of her clients asked for her cell phone number for a business reason and then sent her a dick pic along with solicitation requests. This guy was in his 50s and married. He also knew she was married. She was so shocked, she didn't know how to respond, except to terminate the business relationship.

Filtering for women who might be "into it", fetishistic wishing for rejection, or whatever other excuse... it's gross and you'd have to be a total idiot not to know that.


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## mimesis (Apr 10, 2012)

ENFPathetic said:


> That's exactly it. Telemarketers are wasteman supreme. They keep shooting their shot until they land a hit. It's interesting how you deal with them by wasting their time. Maybe that's why some women lead men on.


Is it just me or am I hearing undertones of cynicism/sarcasm and resentment in that last sentence?


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Squirt said:


> The weirdest one I remember didn't happen to me, but a friend. One of her clients asked for her cell phone number for a business reason and then sent her a dick pic along with solicitation requests. This guy was in his 50s and married. He also knew she was married. She was so shocked, she didn't know how to respond, except to terminate the business relationship.
> 
> Filtering for women who might be "into it", fetishistic wishing for rejection, or whatever other excuse... it's gross and you'd have to be a total idiot not to know that.


That is fucked up. And that is actually similar to many of the situations I’ve heard other friends who have a partner end up experiencing. He is fricken lucky all she did was dissolve the business partnership


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## mimesis (Apr 10, 2012)

recycled_lube_oil said:


> guess they are hoping the woman will lead. Or just get it on.
> So move on to next if not.


If he wants the woman to take the lead, then maybe he needs to be the flower, so she can be the bee? 
🐝🌻


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## SgtPepper (Nov 22, 2016)

Sensational said:


> And that’s not embarrassing at all for any of these men?


Not for the men who I know that do it.


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## ENFPathetic (Apr 3, 2018)

mimesis said:


> Is it just me or am I hearing undertones of cynicism/sarcasm and resentment in that last sentence?


You lost me. Not sure where you were going with that, but my thinking was along the lines that if you think leading telemarketers on and wasting their time is a good way to get them off your back for good, maybe women who lead men on are using the same rationale.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

You know come to think of it my same friend who likes to fuck around with telemarketers also likes fucken around trolling people playing games. She doesn’t necessarily discriminate in men vs women with these actions though.


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## Squirt (Jun 2, 2017)

ENFPathetic said:


> You lost me. Not sure where you were going with that, but my thinking was along the lines that if you think leading telemarketers on and wasting their time is a good way to get them off your back for good, maybe women who lead men on are using the same rationale.


That's a thought. 

Women I've met who purposefully lead men on have done it to get material goods from them or as an ego boost. But I bet some are also just trolls, lol.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

I have absolutely no idea what that's supposed to do for anyone. I would rather a woman know ME before she knows my dick. Of course, Google has something to say about it. 









New psychology research reveals men's motives for sending unsolicited dick pics


Men who send unsolicited images of their private parts primarily do so with the hopes of receiving either similar images or sexual interactions in return, ...



www.psypost.org













The Psychology of Unsolicited Dick Pics: How Many Men Have Sent Them, and Why? - Sex and Psychology


One of the most popular posts I’ve ever written on the blog was about why so many men send unsolicited dick pics to women. At the time, there wasn’t really any published research on the subject, so I just laid out a few theories and hypotheses that might explain the behavior (which you can read...




www.sexandpsychology.com













Why Men Send Pics of Their Junk


A modern online peril reveals core differences in gender and mating.




www.psychologytoday.com













Why So Many Men Send Unsolicited Dick Pics


A sex researcher explains the creepy behavior.




www.menshealth.com


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## mimesis (Apr 10, 2012)

ENFPathetic said:


> You lost me. Not sure where you were going with that, but my thinking was along the lines that if you think leading telemarketers on and wasting their time is a good way to get them off your back for good, maybe women who lead men on are using the same rationale.


Why would they lead a man on to make him stop trying? In my case it wasn't directed at the very person calling, I actually felt a little sorry for him, but the system to stop calling me. From that perspective, 16 other people could have been called at least, so I guess that's why I was indefinitely taken off list. 

Following the analogy that would mean a woman would lead a man on, so all men would stop bothering her, because idk he would tell all other men to not try and court her. 

I think men who complain about being lead on perhaps might reconsider next time whether to chase a woman like a happy puppy. Because as far as my personal observations are concerned, that seemed to be the case. Not sexy.


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## arcticfox (Aug 27, 2019)

Sensational said:


> No like I’m actually curious why men like as a collective group often (not saying all individuals) not just happen to but often really truly seem to frequently want to send a picture of their penis (often random) to women.
> 
> I’m not just speaking to my experience. I know of many many women who have received dick pics really random.
> 
> ...


Full disclosure: I'm a guy who has never sent a dick pic. Ever. 

That said, I think the reason why guys do that is obvious: Because we men are often very visual in what turns us on. It's why most of the people who watch porn are men. It's why there's a lot more expectation on women than on men to look attractive. It's why most sex magazines with lots and lots of photos are marketed to men.

Here's the problem: A lot of men assume that women are exactly the same way.

If a woman sends a man a picture of herself nude, or partly nude, or of a specific part of her body nude, two things happen in a guy's mind. First, he really REALLY enjoys looking at it. Second, he interprets that as a sign of interest/availability.

So when he sends a dick pic, he's trying to invoke that same response in the recipient. 

Now, in contrast to guys, women are less stimulated visually. Women know this. Most men don't. 

So is it crude and obnoxious? Yes. Yes it is. Is it meant to be as creepy as it comes across? Probably not most of the time.


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## SgtPepper (Nov 22, 2016)

tanstaafl28 said:


> I have absolutely no idea what that's supposed to do for anyone. I would rather a woman know ME before she knows my dick.


But what if she sends you a dick pic first?


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## arcticfox (Aug 27, 2019)

SgtPepper said:


> But what if she sends you a dick pic first?


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## ENFPathetic (Apr 3, 2018)

mimesis said:


> Why would they lead a man on to make him stop trying? In my case it wasn't directed at the very person calling, I actually felt a little sorry for him, but the system to stop calling me. From that perspective, 16 other people could have been called at least, so I guess that's why I was indefinitely taken off list.
> 
> Following the analogy that would mean a woman would lead a man on, so all men would stop bothering her, because idk he would tell all other men to not try and court her.
> 
> I think men who complain about being lead on perhaps might reconsider next time whether to chase a woman like a happy puppy. Because as far as my personal observations are concerned, that seemed to be the case. Not sexy.


You're right. I didn't think the analogy through that far.

When did the conversation turn into men "complaining" about being led on? How many do you know who even do that? In my circles it's usually women who do it. Generally when people realise they are being led on, they don't complain about it. They just move on, unless they've been used, usually for sex. And they're typically not overly eager types. The common pattern is they take dating seriously while the other person sees it as a game. The solution is to learn to spot a bullshitter.

What brought this on?


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## Queen of Cups (Feb 26, 2010)

Squirt said:


> One of her clients asked for her cell phone number for a business reason and then sent her a dick pic along with solicitation requests.


I’ve had this happen. Not just dick pics but also general hitting on me. If you get my number from someone for bullshit purposes, don’t be mad when I tell them what you sent. Especially under the guise of business or helping someone. 
I’ve also gotten a few through discord. That’s usually block and tell the server mod. 
I don’t really use my Facebook much but there’s a dude I’ve had to block at least 4 or 5 times because he kept making new accounts. Usually just messaging me inappropriate one liners. Last time he sent me a dick pic with the caption “Thinking of you this morning.” I told him if he ever contacted me again, I was showing his mother and grandmother. 
Haven’t heard anything since lol


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## Queen of Cups (Feb 26, 2010)

There was also a poster on here who collected dick pics, so she would go around messaging dudes asking for them.


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## daleks_exterminate (Jul 22, 2013)

Someone once sent me one and I can only assume they mistook me for a nurse and were in desperate need of medical advice. I was not annoyed or angry, but informed them that I was, in fact, not in a medical field. However, I understood the urgency of being scared that one's penis started looking like Mr. Snuffleupagus' trunk and that he should absolutely seek actual medical advice.


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## mimesis (Apr 10, 2012)

ENFPathetic said:


> You're right. I didn't think the analogy through that far.
> 
> When did the conversation turn into men "complaining" about being led on? How many do you know who even do that? In my circles it's usually women who do it. Generally when people realise they are being led on, they don't complain about it. They just move on, unless they've been used, usually for sex. And they're typically not overly eager types. The common pattern is they take dating seriously while the other person sees it as a game. The solution is to learn to spot a bullshitter.
> 
> What brought this on?


I have no idea what brought this on.
But I do know you brought this on, when you moved the conversation to the rationale of women leading men on. 

That apparently you don't know of any man complain about. Because "Generally when people realise they are being led on, they don't complain about it."
Except that it's "usually women" (in your experience/circles) 

I've heard/read both men and women complain about being led on, (ime and in media). 

So just for the sake of coherence, perhaps you can explain what you meant with women leading men on, that generally no man complains about?


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## Whippit (Jun 15, 2012)

It's never something I've done, nor have my friends talked about. I'm going to guess they're just really horny at the time and are doing some serious projection, mentally and physically.


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