# Flirtatious Accidental Touches



## Eventive

It seems to be quite a common experience that when your crush, someone you're attracted to or have sexual tension with, is in the closest proximity, you just happen to accidentally touch his or her hand, or other body part. Maybe s/he hands off something to you and your hands accidentally touch in an awkward fashion. You didn't mean to do that, you weren't flirting purposely, but somehow that unconscious part of you, which perhaps wanted to touch, took control over you. Possibly you wondered where the sudden clumsiness came from. It happened without your conscious decision that you know. Do you know what I'm talking about?

What do you think and feel when that happens? How do you react to it? Why do you think it happens? *What do you make of it?* Have you ever noticed that you felt something only after such an incident? I once had such an incident, after which I recognized I had some tension going on. Is this nature's way of making sure that even the shyest individuals reproduce? It annoys me to lose control like that. Why is it so hard to contain ourselves? Is it feelings that momentarily take control in this way or what is it? Is it always a sign of some feelings? A foolproof sign of interest, when it's done to you, after everything else is accounted for. 

Are there really _accidental _touches with a romantic undertone at all? Aren't they always caused by something? When you're attracted to someone, your accidental touch often is no accident. I guess some of us get surprised by the sudden closeness and an accidental touch is merely a symptom of it. Or perhaps it's an unconscious way to test the waters, whether your hidden interest is reciprocated or not. Almost as if we have a flirtation technique built-in in ourselves. You don't need to learn to flirt, your unconscious actions can inspire desire in the other. Let nature take its course. An evolutionary remnant bypassing the thinking brain? It's just quite interesting how that happens, to lose control, to experience it. It's rather rare to recognize your own powerlessness over your own body in such a way even if only temporally. How did you lose it - the moment when you lost the control?

One of my personal experiences:
We were playing cards and I was helping this woman clear the table for the next round. So we're both scooping the cards off the table. And something about the way she moved her hands was so unpredictable to follow as not to touch her. And at the same time her hand movements felt similar to mine. Recognizing something familiar must've confused me to the point that the tension got unbearable. She was using the same maneuvers of avoiding each other which I felt had to come to a dead end, a head-on collision with our hands, or should I say genitals. In reality it wasn't quite as dramatic as that. I didn't plan on doing this. Suddenly, without realizing, I am touching the back of her hand, may I say, only with the tip of my middle finger, not so softly either. Only with my middle finger hah. I was later laughing at myself that I didn't have the courage to do more than that, which was understandable as it wasn't in the best possible company. I was slightly confused by it. I had to take my hands off of the table and let her deal the cards. Am I trying to describe attraction or an accidental touch? The latter, she's in the past. She was my Socionics dual though. I later realized that even if I maybe didn't feel much (although I probably did), at least I had always found her intriguing. A touching story right. 



http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-the-name-love/201405/why-lovers-touch-is-so-powerful said:


> Eye contact is crucial in love, but its combination with touch multiples the romantic impact. *When people are still unsure about the romantic attitude of the person they have just met, eye contact with “accidental" hand-touching can remove all doubt.*


Feel free to post your thoughts and own experiences in as much detail as you want.


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## Ixim

Eventive said:


> It seems to be quite a common experience that when your crush, someone you're attracted to or have sexual tension with, is in the closest proximity, you just happen to accidentally touch his or her hand, or other body part. Maybe s/he hands off something to you and your hands accidentally touch in an awkward fashion. You didn't mean to do that, you weren't flirting purposely, but somehow that unconscious part of you, which perhaps wanted to touch, took control over you. Possibly you wondered where the sudden clumsiness came from. It happened without your conscious decision that you know. Do you know what I'm talking about?
> 
> What do you think and feel when that happens? How do you react to it? Why do you think it happens? *What do you make of it?* Have you ever noticed that you felt something only after such an incident? I once had such an incident, after which I recognized I had some tension going on. Is this nature's way of making sure that even the shyest individuals reproduce? It annoys me to lose control like that. Why is it so hard to contain ourselves? Is it feelings that momentarily take control in this way or what is it? Is it always a sign of some feelings? A foolproof sign of interest, when it's done to you, after everything else is accounted for.
> 
> Are there really _accidental _touches with a romantic undertone at all? Aren't they always caused by something? When you're attracted to someone, your accidental touch often is no accident. I guess some of us get surprised by the sudden closeness and an accidental touch is merely a symptom of it. Or perhaps it's an unconscious way to test the waters, whether your hidden interest is reciprocated or not. Almost as if we have a flirtation technique built-in in ourselves. You don't need to learn to flirt, your unconscious actions can inspire desire in the other. Let nature take its course. An evolutionary remnant bypassing the thinking brain? It's just quite interesting how that happens, to lose control, to experience it. It's rather rare to recognize your own powerlessness over your own body in such a way even if only temporally. How did you lose it - the moment when you lost the control?
> 
> One of my personal experiences:
> We were playing cards and I was helping this woman clear the table for the next round. So we're both scooping the cards off the table. And something about the way she moved her hands was so unpredictable to follow as not to touch her. And at the same time her hand movements felt similar to mine. Recognizing something familiar must've confused me to the point that the tension got unbearable. She was using the same maneuvers of avoiding each other which I felt had to come to a dead end, a head-on collision with our hands, or should I say genitals. In reality it wasn't quite as dramatic as that. I didn't plan on doing this. Suddenly, without realizing, I am touching the back of her hand, may I say, only with the tip of my middle finger, not so softly either. Only with my middle finger hah. I was later laughing at myself that I didn't have the courage to do more than that, which was understandable as it wasn't in the best possible company. I was slightly confused by it. I had to take my hands off of the table and let her deal the cards. Am I trying to describe attraction or an accidental touch? The latter, she's in the past. She was my Socionics dual though. I later realized that even if I maybe didn't feel much (although I probably did), at least I had always found her intriguing. A touching story right.
> 
> 
> 
> Feel free to post your thoughts and own experiences in as much detail as you want.


That quote you posted, is all I need to know how a potential romantic interest feels about me and I'm not exactly shy about that. In fact, if I feel strongly enough, I AM GOING to use the touch. But let's be real, I almost always leave it at potential because I'd rather dream about her and leave her be free than to actually make her mine.

...yeah I have awesome conditions for an army of children lol!


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## MrShatter

The accidental touches don't have to have romantic undertones, sometimes it's just a way to relate. However, your case _does_ have romantic undertones, obviously.
Depends on the person.
I tend to get myself into trouble if I read too much into it. Not that it wasn't a romantic go, just my later screwy behavior ruins all subtlety.


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## Gossip Goat

What? I stay away from my crushes and admire them from afar, there's no way they could come within a close proximity to me that would warrant physical touch. 

But really, this never happens to me. The times I've touched & been touched by my crushes it hasn't been on accident.


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## Insight1

Ok... I have one but this started with an intentional touch. Someone I've known for many years professionally who recently started touching me to get my attention. This was quit a shock to me because he had refused to shake my hand in the beginning. So, yeah I become curious about him. I recently started working out so I am very fit and more attractive than before so I wondered if this had something to do with it. Another time I was sitting in a chair and he came up behind me, touched my shoulder with his finger tips and slightly massage me to say hello ( This was in a group of people). Yeah ok now you have my attention. Another time he wanted to show me what page I needed to be on and got up and leaned over top of me so I could feel him brushing against me. At this point I was starting to have some real attraction. I'm not really sure that I have ever experience this before but I wonder if he was feeling similar inside. Once, I touched him intentionally to get his attention and he froze with his eyes wide open. So I released my hand and he returned to normal. I know what I was feeling but I'm not sure he felt the same so how can something feel so good and real but not be mutual attraction? If it helps any he is an ISTJ though and though.


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## Grandmaster Yoda

Was it accidental? I just remembered that I always intentionally rubbed up against people after school ended when we were going back to our lockers, it was a different time, a better time.


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## Insight1

So you say you would intentionally like to rub up against others, female or male? Was it random?


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## ObservantFool

For me, this type of behavior is totally calculated, and my touch tends to linger a little longer than usual when I am attracted to someone, but then I'll act like what I've done is no big deal in order to maintain a degree of straightforwardness as I try to gauge the other person's reaction. I try not to be too aggressive or frequent with the touching, but I do consciously look for opportunities to be sensual and get physically close to the person without being socially inappropriate. I do wonder about the same thing you are, however, because whenever someone of the opposite sex "accidentally" comes into contact with me, I assume the reason they were not careful enough not to invade my personal space is because they knew they could get away with it if they played it off as something innocent, and I instinctively become more flirtatious (unless the circumstances were particularly awkward or the other person was clearly preoccupied, making it seem more likely that it was indeed an accident). I do believe some people do this somewhat unconsciously, but at some level they know what they're doing, almost as if they don't want to admit their desires to themselves and are playing it safe by being ambiguous, so if the other person is unresponsive, they won't feel rejected because they can convince themselves that they weren't trying to get the person's romantic attention. I also think conscious avoidance maneuvers can indicate repressed attraction due to the focus on the aspect of touching, but it can also indicate repulsion or that the person may have social anxiety.


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## angelfish

I've had some accidental completely platonic touches, particularly at work. Sometimes just handing things to one another, sometimes while working in close spaces. With girls it's no big deal. With guys I find myself more flustered even if it meant absolutely nothing. Most spectacularly, I once grabbed a male acquaintance's butt by accident, thinking it was someone else's. That was incredibly embarrassing and I attempted to drink myself into oblivion following the incident that night. 

As for flirtatious touch - I'm bad, I guess. I touch very intentionally and also attempt to maintain a casual, unintentional attitude about it. If it happens unintentionally, best accident ever.


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