# How do you go about finding a casual sex partner?



## ENTrePenuer (Jun 12, 2010)

Promethea said:


> Its like the language still reflects some archaic idea that women are _things _to be _attained_.


Now you're starting to understand, the language doesn't reflect my personal opinions but rather the standard feeling of it.

I could just make up a word but noone would use it.

Ever notice how perseus speaks a bunch of jibberish?
it's his own code to communicate ideas that exist outside of the SJ thought and expression box.
We are prisoners of language, so if you choose to be offended, be offended.

Until you can give me better words I'll use whats on hand.
Now if you ladies will excuse me I have to call this slut back.


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## amanda32 (Jul 23, 2009)

Promethea said:


> Its like the language still reflects some archaic idea that women are _things _to be _attained_.


Yes, it's also a hateful word full of disrespect for women in general used by the type of guy that uses women left and right as "things" like you say, and then wants to marry a virgin to avoid criticism.
In my experience, only male sluts call women sluts.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

ENTrePenuer said:


> Now you're starting to understand, the language doesn't reflect my personal opinions but rather the standard feeling of it.
> 
> I could just make up a word but noone would use it.
> 
> ...


You don't have to view women in that light, in the first place. That was my other point. Just because a term does exist in the language, doesn't mean that you shouldn't take into consideration, the meaning behind it. You casually call a female who has casual sex, a slut - without regarding the fact that the person she is having sex with is also doing the same thing. What is he?


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## amanda32 (Jul 23, 2009)

Promethea said:


> You don't have to view women in that light, in the first place. That was my other point. Just because a term does exist in the language, doesn't mean that you shouldn't take into consideration, the meaning behind it. You casually call a female who has casual sex, a slut - without regarding the fact that the person she is having sex with is also doing the same thing. What is he?


I'm sure his view is, it's perfectly normal and natural for the guy. He need to "sow his oats".

Hey, if sb. wants to have casual sex, go for it -- but the double standard that makes men heros and women whores really pisses me off.


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## Female INFJ (Feb 27, 2010)

amanda32 said:


> Since he is a man and he is looking for "just sex with just about anyone", do you think he's a "slut?"
> I only ask because it only seems fair to call a man a slut if your calling a woman who would reciprocate a slut.
> btw, I think for the most part she would be it's just the feminist in me objects to the language as I interpret it as being okay for him to be "promiscuous" and seek out only a sexual relation and the woman who accepts is a slut.
> Just a pet peeve of mine.
> Or is he a hero?


I think you were looking for this, Amanda?

manwhore

English

Etymology

man +‎ whore
[edit] Noun

Singular
manwhore 

Plural
manwhores

manwhore (plural manwhores)

1. (slang) A man who sells his body for money; a male prostitute.  
_
2. (slang) A promiscuous man who has no regard for his sexual partners or the emotional value of his relationships.  _

Synonyms

* (male prostitute): gigolo
* (promiscuous man): womanizer

Verb

Infinitive
to manwhore


Third person singular
manwhores


Simple past
manwhored


Past participle
manwhored


Present participle
manwhoring

to manwhore (third-person singular simple present manwhores, present participle manwhoring, simple past and past participle manwhored)

1. (rare) to prostitute oneself, as a man

Not to say another name will cancel out the use of the other!


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Actually I also call some women sluts. My best friend ENFJ (we will call her Amy) just discovered a common girlfriend (we'll call her Slut) has been sleeping with my best friend's boyfriend (we will call him DickWadManWhore) for three months and right under her own roof at times. The Slut also gave 3 men in the orchestra blow jobs the same summer (the Slut even confessed about the blow jobs to me before she confessed sleeping with my best friend's boyfriend). 

So yes, some women are sluts. They give it out AND they will sleep with other people's men. Every slut (male or female) that exists, there is another person who has been corrupted by them and believes in hand outs.

My girlfriends and I have a code for Man Whores. We know who they are within our circles. The guys that sleep around are considered disgusting and we say he has a "Dirty Penis". So "Dirty Penis" is really our term for male sluts. It works for us. Because no woman really wants a "Dirty Penis" inside of them, that is unless they are a slut. There is no way I am chancing STD's because of a Dirty Penis. And if a guy has slept with a slut, it automatically makes him have a Dirty Penis and I'm not touching that with a 10 foot pole. 

So I do use derogatory terms for derogatory people who continue to lower the standards in the dating world. But doesn't everyone hate it when your swimming and someone pisses in the pool?


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## amanda32 (Jul 23, 2009)

Female INFJ said:


> I think you were looking for this, Amanda?
> 
> manwhore
> 
> ...


I think I love you!


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## Proteus (Mar 5, 2010)

Someone named Drusila Choi sent me an email offering info on a weekend getaway full of "naughty girls who want your manhood". I can forward it to you if you want, it seems legit.


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## amanda32 (Jul 23, 2009)

pinkrasputin said:


> Actually I also call some women sluts. My best friend ENFJ (we will call her Amy) just discovered a common girlfriend (we'll call her Slut) has been sleeping with my best friend's boyfriend (we will call him DickWadManWhore) for three months and right under her own roof at times. The Slut also gave 3 men in the orchestra blow jobs the same summer (the Slut even confessed about the blow jobs to me before she confessed sleeping with my best friend's boyfriend).
> 
> So yes, some women are sluts. They give it out AND they will sleep with other people's men. Every slut (male or female) that exists, there is another person who has been corrupted by them and believes in hand outs.
> 
> ...


I'd agree that a woman who sleeps with a guy with a girlfriend or a married man, is behaving in a slutty way. But I prefer to think she's just making bad choices and not to speak about people that way.

The issue here is that this guy is calling these women sluts and refuses to say anything negative about a man who behaves in such a way.

Also, when a woman calls another woman a slut, it's a little like a black person using the "N" word to another black person -- it's kinda allowed in certain situations because...they're black. Even though it's tacky. But IMO a man shouldn't throw that word around, especially when he behaves the way this guys does (not the OP but Entrenprenur or whatever his name is).


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

amanda32 said:


> I'd agree that a woman who sleeps with a guy with a girlfriend or a married man, or say has phone sex with a married man is behaving in a slutty way. But I prefer to think she's just making bad choices and not to speak about people that way.
> 
> The issue here is that this guy is calling these women sluts and refuses to say anything negative about a man who behaves in such a way.
> 
> Also, when a woman calls another woman a slut, it's a little like a black person using the "N" word to another black person -- it's kinda allowed in certain situations because...they're black. Even though it's tacky. But IMO a man shouldn't throw that word around, especially when he behaves the way this guys does (not the OP but Entrenprenur or whatever his name is).


Gotcha, sister. :wink:


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## Female INFJ (Feb 27, 2010)

amanda32 said:


> I think I love you!


 Hey amanda32 - i wasn't finished yet with our ENTP  I just had to get some lunch...he's already i see he has softened up, in the INFJ forum, it was my instinct that he did have something to talk about, perhaps his INFJ has stolen his heart! tee hee I love you too, my friend 



ENTrePenuer said:


> Now you're starting to understand, the language doesn't reflect my personal opinions but rather the standard feeling of it.
> 
> I could just make up a word but noone would use it.
> 
> ...


Hey _ENTrePenuer_ - it's FemINFJ again! I went too soft on you in the INFJ sex thread i see! YOU need a girl to keep you in line for real! You are stirring up trouble in here also – amanda32 actually answered your question way back - 'promiscuous' would be a word maybe for that type of lady (the slut you refer to), she mentioned this - other words perhaps for a lady like that would be 'easy' or 'loose' or more precisely the situation you described (a phone call away) 'bootie call' girl maybe...none of which i am! but each girl makes their choices. you are quite the bad-ass, aren't you? but those i find are the easiest to tame....but I know you've got an INFJ girl already, i’m sure she’s got you handled, just saying. 

so be polite, and quit using the word 'slut' if the ladies don't like it, then be mindful of their wishes? it's not that hard. 

but i do hear you - lots of women are ready to sleep around with men - i think Pinkrasputin goes into further detail on this. Ladies can make choices what to do with their bodies, but i do see what type of woman you are talking about here in this discussion. i don't think it makes a guy a hero vs the slut that sleeps with him, however it does say a lot about the guy who engages in this activity, and how he sees women. but there are a multitude of circumstances, i mean if it is a pre-arranged bootie call, then such it is. 

this type of behaviour in men is usually undesirable for ladies looking for a partner - and men likely into this type of behaviour may have other issues. the ‘something for nothing’ type men often lack in reciprocating ability - not saying you are like this – but a lady is more than her body. there are so many variances in this type of encounter, i will not assume. nice to see you opening up in INFJ forum, I knew something was up...


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## amanda32 (Jul 23, 2009)

Female INFJ said:


> Hey amanda32 - i wasn't finished yet with our ENTP  I just had to get some lunch...he's already i see he has softened up, in the INFJ forum, it was my instinct that he did have something to talk about, perhaps his INFJ has stolen his heart! tee hee I love you too, my friend


Meh. I don't think he's softening up. It's a ploy! He's got 3 women on the make that one. 

xx


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## ENTrePenuer (Jun 12, 2010)

I honestly didn't realize how personally you ladies would take it. I apologize.


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## angularvelocity (Jun 15, 2009)

Promethea said:


> Get a fleshlight.


I'm so curious about these. I saw these online through one of those side ads and I want to try one so bad! I just don't want to get caught with it when someone looks for a flashlight and I hand that to them. The reviews were amazing too. DAMN IT! I WANT ME ONE!


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

avalanche183 said:


> I'm so curious about these. I saw these online through one of those side ads and I want to try one so bad! I just don't want to get caught with it when someone looks for a flashlight and I hand that to them. The reviews were amazing too. DAMN IT! I WANT ME ONE!


In all honest, if I were a guy, you bet I would have one.. I've heard that some of them feel pretty realistic.


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## angularvelocity (Jun 15, 2009)

Promethea said:


> In all honest, if I were a guy, you bet I would have one..


Is that your way of saying "Get one" ? Haha I could use some convincing! Pretty damn expensive toy I must say.. $60+. MMmmm so tempting. 

Who needs women? Get a fleshlight.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

avalanche183 said:


> Is that your way of saying "Get one" ? Haha I could use some convincing! Pretty damn expensive toy I must say.. $60+. MMmmm so tempting.
> 
> Who needs women? Get a fleshlight.


Oh yeah, I'm very curious. I don't have a wang, so I can't try it out personally.. you'll have to try it and let me know all about it.


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## vel (May 17, 2010)

Promethea said:


> Oh yeah, I'm very curious. I don't have a wang, so I can't try it out personally.. you'll have to try it and let me know all about it.


lol ... that now makes me want to have a penis too so that I can try one out >.<


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## RobinsonCrusoe (Nov 25, 2009)

Promethea said:


> Oh yeah, I'm very curious. I don't have a wang, so I can't try it out personally.. you'll have to try it and let me know all about it.


oh man, i can't begin to tell you what you are missing out on! dicks are the shit. they are so fucking amazing. SO. FUCKING. AMAZING.

why?

1. it does ALL my thinking for me. I wake up, my brain goes into auto-pilot, and my dick literally takes over the cockpit for the rest of the day.

For example? Well, some people face a big moral dilemma when they're wondering if it's worth screwing their boss's wife/husband. They think they might lose their jobs, jeopardize their futures, ruin their reputations, etc. My dick? Nah. I'm all up in Mrs. CEO's black Victoria's Secret thong panties before my brain can even register what just happened. Thank you, dick, I'd say. You're welcome, Robinson, says Dick. Now go back to sleep, I'll take care of shit. Oh, and you were fired today. But I'll go screw the HR lady tomorrow and get you back your old job.

2. it cures all my loneliness/depression/rage/anxiety/boredom/frustration issues. You say you pay a shrink $500 an hour to hear you talk about your shit? Well, mine hangs from my groin, solves all my aforementioned problems, and requires nothing more than the occasional scrub-down with soap every now and then. 

3. it doesn't randomly fuck with my emotions once every 30 days.

now, i just have to convince my guy to stop putting me to sleep after every screw.


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## Slider (Nov 17, 2009)

Fleshlight? You can't be serious. That's one step away from being a sad, pathetic sex doll owner.

Just find a girlfriend or use your hand like the rest of us degenerates.


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## vel (May 17, 2010)

RobinsonCrusoe said:


> oh man, i can't begin to tell you what you are missing out on! dicks are the shit. they are so fucking amazing. SO. FUCKING. AMAZING.
> 
> 1. it does ALL my thinking for me. I wake up, my brain goes into auto-pilot, and my dick literally takes over the cockpit for the rest of the day.
> 2. it cures all my loneliness/depression/rage/anxiety/boredom/frustration issues.
> 3. it doesn't randomly fuck with my emotions once every 30 days.


sure ... just make others feel even worse about not having one why don't you :dry:

btw I hear they pay something like 100 grand for brain donations to brain cancer patients - since it sounds like you don't really needs yours, might as well make some money off of it


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> So what you're saying is, you are giving up hope any woman will want to be with you long term once she learns your circumstances so you just automatically put it out there that you are only out "for a fuck"? Kind of like you are rejecting them before they can reject you?
> 
> Yes, celibacy DOES suck. And too bad men have been entering relationships and maintaining them for years in order to avoid it. BUT there ARE some women out there that will bend and give out for free with no strings attached. And as long as there are, some men will continue to seek them and avoid relationships. But let's face it: Sex IS fucking amazing. And women GIVING you SEX is SUCH A TREAT! I'm pretty sure that is why even hookers charge for it! Having sex is AWESOME!!!!
> 
> ...


You make very valid and logical points, I like your thinking.



avalanche183 said:


> I can think of the many positive responses you can find in a bar with that question and I will list them.
> 
> Positive responses;
> 1.) herpes
> ...


Why do you think that I don't go to one of these websites like Adultfriendfinder, or go to a bar.....cuz I don't want to wake up the next morning with Al Pacino growing on my penis.



amanda32 said:


> I just object to men calling women sluts in general. I think it's low class. But that's just me.


Okay folks, so it's not that I necessarily want a fuck buddy. I just don't want a long-term committed relationship. I wouldn't mind having a girlfriend, just don't put me in a relationship cage, that I can't get out of. I want to be free like a bird to explore new females, and new possibilites. But, I appreciate all of your replies.


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## Merov (Mar 8, 2009)

Nothing good will come to you.
You bring disgrace to the human condition.
The doctor is back.

:mellow:


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## Slider (Nov 17, 2009)

vel said:


> sure ... just make others feel even worse about not having one why don't you :dry:
> 
> btw I hear they pay something like 100 grand for brain donations to brain cancer patients - since it sounds like you don't really needs yours, might as well make some money off of it


 
Waahahahaaha...


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## thirtiesgirl (Jun 27, 2010)

Sorry, I haven't read through the whole thread (I'm being a bad forumite), so I may be suggesting something here that's already been said. If you're looking for a casual sex partner, try Craigslist.

FYI, a "girlfriend" is not someone you just have constant casual sex with. If you want a constant casual sex partner, that's a fuck buddy or a constant booty call. But she's not your girlfriend. The point of becoming someone's girlfriend, imo, is to date them exclusively with the intent to work towards greater commitment, to build a relationship. If you want a constant fuck buddy, no strings attached, go on Craigslist, advertise for exactly what you're looking for, explain that it's no strings attached (I mean, you don't want to get tangled up in all those icky expectations and commitments, now, do you?), and see who responds. I'm sure you'll find some women out there who may be looking for the same thing.

For the record, though, and from experience, I've usually found that it's best to keep my casual sex encounters brief. The longer you continue having casual sex with a booty call partner, the more those pesky expectations may start to arise. It's best to keep a casual sex partner around for the short term, maybe a month, two at most, and that's it. Then move on to another partner who will fulfill your needs, and you theirs. Keep it safe, keep it clean and have fun.


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

thirtiesgirl said:


> Sorry, I haven't read through the whole thread (I'm being a bad forumite), so I may be suggesting something here that's already been said. If you're looking for a casual sex partner, try Craigslist.
> 
> FYI, a "girlfriend" is not someone you just have constant casual sex with. If you want a constant casual sex partner, that's a fuck buddy or a constant booty call. But she's not your girlfriend. The point of becoming someone's girlfriend, imo, is to date them exclusively with the intent to work towards greater commitment, to build a relationship. If you want a constant fuck buddy, no strings attached, go on Craigslist, advertise for exactly what you're looking for, explain that it's no strings attached (I mean, you don't want to get tangled up in all those icky expectations and commitments, now, do you?), and see who responds. I'm sure you'll find some women out there who may be looking for the same thing.
> 
> For the record, though, and from experience, I've usually found that it's best to keep my casual sex encounters brief. The longer you continue having casual sex with a booty call partner, the more those pesky expectations may start to arise. It's best to keep a casual sex partner around for the short term, maybe a month, two at most, and that's it. Then move on to another partner who will fulfill your needs, and you theirs. Keep it safe, keep it clean and have fun.


Yeah, I've had girlfriends before, but never a casual sex partner. I'm just trying to figure out how that system works.


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## Inverse (Jun 3, 2010)

Slider said:


> Fleshlight? You can't be serious. That's one step away from being a sad, pathetic sex doll owner.
> 
> Just find a girlfriend or use your hand like the rest of us degenerates.



Ooph~ so toys for guys make them sad and pathetic losers. Double standards all around in this thread. <3


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

Inverse said:


> Ooph~ so toys for guys make them sad and pathetic losers. Double standards all around in this thread. <3


Don't judge me woman. You don't know me.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Nate, do you have an ex with whom you are still friends?


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## Midnight Rambler (Apr 17, 2010)

Can You FEEL THE LOVE TONGIHT!!!!!


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## Inverse (Jun 3, 2010)

NatetheGreat said:


> Don't judge me woman. You don't know me.


Ooph, sorry~ was responding to Slider. Not that it's important. I think toys are fun, regardless of your current gender. <3


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> Nate, do you have an ex with whom you are still friends?


No.



freebird1839 said:


> Can You FEEL THE LOVE TONGIHT!!!!!


ROFL, at this shit.


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## tooboku (Jun 9, 2010)

amanda32 said:


> So, you're telling me, a woman, that guy without money "doesn't stand a chance" when I've already stated that he does? Hm...ok.
> I suppose it depends on the woman.


I suppose. If you can honestly imagine yourself being happy in the long term with a "stay-at-home-son" then more power to you. For myself though, being broke either means someone is in a transition period or has a lack of ambition. A guy can be poor, that's one thing but being lazy too is not acceptable.


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## amanda32 (Jul 23, 2009)

tooboku said:


> I suppose. If you can honestly imagine yourself being happy in the long term with a "stay-at-home-son" then more power to you. For myself though, being broke either means someone is in a transition period or has a lack of ambition. A guy can be poor, that's one thing but being lazy too is not acceptable.


O, of course, this guy is in college no? so he doesn't lack ambition, isn't lazy, this is just a transition stage in life.


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## thirtiesgirl (Jun 27, 2010)

NatetheGreat said:


> Yeah, I've had girlfriends before, but never a casual sex partner. I'm just trying to figure out how that system works.


It's called communication. If you tell a woman what you're looking for - whether its a casual sex partner or a girlfriend - she'll communicate with you and let you know if she shares your interest in casual sex or is looking for more commitment. That communication can take several forms: she'll tell you ("yes, I'm looking for a casual sex partner, too" or "no, you immature, unevolved boy, don't you realize that to really connect with someone, you need to try commitment?"); or she'll show you by making out with you, hopping into the sack with you, or walking away from you so quickly you won't even see the door open as she lets herself out.

The only way you'll know if someone wants the same thing you want is if you _tell them_. Try it and see what kind of response you get.


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

thirtiesgirl said:


> It's called communication. If you tell a woman what you're looking for - whether its a casual sex partner or a girlfriend - she'll communicate with you and let you know if she shares your interest in casual sex or is looking for more commitment. That communication can take several forms: she'll tell you ("yes, I'm looking for a casual sex partner, too" or "no, you immature, unevolved boy, don't you realize that to really connect with someone, you need to try commitment?"); or she'll show you by making out with you, hopping into the sack with you, or walking away from you so quickly you won't even see the door open as she lets herself out.
> 
> The only way you'll know if someone wants the same thing you want is if you _tell them_. Try it and see what kind of response you get.


I WILL TRY IT! I've just never tried it before, for fear of getting a glass of water thrown in my face, being punched in the face, or kicked in the testicles. But from now on, who gives a damn......I'll take the risk!


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## thirtiesgirl (Jun 27, 2010)

NatetheGreat said:


> I WILL TRY IT! I've just never tried it before, for fear of getting a glass of water thrown in my face, being punched in the face, or kicked in the testicles. But from now on, who gives a damn......I'll take the risk!


That's why I suggested Craigslist. You can post an ad specifically detailing what you're looking for: casual sex, no strings attached. The women who respond to the ad should be clear on what you're looking for since you've stated it in your ad. This eliminates any possible violence.

Another way of handling it is having the stones to ask a girl out on a casual date (for lunch or coffee), telling her that you like her (i.e., find her physically attractive, not bad to look at, and her personality generally seems 'nice') and then asking her if she'd be into a casual sex relationship. Asking a girl out is a clear sign to the girl that you like her. _Telling her_ you like her is another very obvious sign. How you handle the next step is up to you. I usually suggest honesty is the best policy. For example, after you've made some small talk and told the girl you like her, you then say something like, "You know what I'm into?" (this is a rhetorical question; you don't expect an answer from the girl), "I'm looking for a casual sex partner. I'm not looking for a girlfriend, but I like you and think you're nice and I was wondering if you might be into casual sex, no strings attached, with me."

Now admittedly, saying something like that takes a lot of confidence (or 'stones,' as I like to say). And it can sometimes result in the woman becoming angry and maybe reacting in a way that is not so favorable to you. That's why I suggested Craigslist. You eliminate the portion of personal contact where you ask the woman if she's into being a casual sex partner. That's already been established in your ad. All that's left to discuss is where you want to meet. And once you meet, if you decide you like the girl and find her attractive, the next thing to discuss is when and where you're going to have sex and how long you expect the relationship to continue.

The other thing to consider is this: why do you think so many women might respond in anger to your inquiry about casual sex? If I may presume to speak for most of the women I personally know, a majority of us are looking for a guy who has evolved beyond the need for casual sex and is interested in and mature enough to try and build a deeper connection with another person. The problem with casual sex is that it treats each partner as an object, and I really don't know too many women who are cool with being treated as objects.

There's nothing wrong with casual sex in the short term. It fulfills a need, can be briefly fun and is kind of exciting. But most women are looking for something more, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with wanting a deeper connection with someone who is not just going to view you as an object and value you for what's between your legs. I wish you the best of luck in your search, but I'd recommend seriously reflecting on _why_ you're getting the kind of responses from women that you're getting, and recognize that maybe it might be time to look for something a little more meaningful.


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## Drake (Oct 31, 2009)

Go to A.A. meetings and talk to the girls there. they tend to replace one addiction with another. Yes it imight be a tad bit immoral, but if you aare ok with it then it should work.


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## RobinsonCrusoe (Nov 25, 2009)

"very nize! How much?"


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## kiwigrl (Apr 27, 2010)

um easy, go to a bar looking sexy, find a suitable partner, flirt brazenly... done. 

Note: I don't do this myself but I could see how easy it would be by how guys were in bars when I was single. 

Just thinking that they actually aren't any different when you are wearing a wedding ring or even if you have a man at your side, they still perve.


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