# Should I Quit My Job?



## BlissfulDreams (Dec 25, 2009)

Okay everyone, I'm in a bit of a predicament and I'm not sure what to do. I'm hoping that some of you will be able to give me some advice about what to do or what not to do. Please choose an option in this poll, even if you do not leave a response in the thread. I appreciate any feedback that is given.

I've been off work for almost two months now, due to illness. I'm still not any closer to knowing what's wrong with me than when I first started having the symptoms. I've seen different specialists and still, no one knows what I have. It's very frustrating and I'm tired of being off work. I'm going crazy doing nothing.

Right now, I have the student loans office hounding me for money. Even when I was working, I could not afford to make monthly payments on the loan that I took out two years ago because I was only making minimum wage. I had been put on a deferred payment plan but that has expired. Now student loans wants me to send in paperwork that proves that I didn't make anything during the months that I was off and to include my income for the months before that. This is something that I can't do myself and my work has to write it up, but they are not cooperating with me. It probably has something to do with the fact that I am on sick leave, as they treat current workers' concerns with a higher priority than workers who are on leave. They will not specifically say it but I think it's a given. They don't seem to understand the seriousness of the problem (the student loans office has already sent me to the credit bureau due to no payment) and have said that it could take another three weeks to have the letter written up. That's a bunch of B.S.

Back in December, when I first started having my symptoms, I had to call in sick every few days because I felt so sick. My work started getting pissed off because I was doing this too often, even though it was legitimate. There was a clause in the contract that I signed that stated that I could only have up to two absences per month. Each absence goes on my record, no matter what reason. Also, any additional absences, no matter what reason, could mean that I'd be put on probation. During this probation period, they keep careful watch over attendance and if an employee's attendance doesn't improve, they can fire them. I always had sick notes for my absences but I felt that the amount of absences that I was having wasn't fair to my employer, so I went on leave. It's now two months later and I'm still not in good enough condition to go back to work. About 30% of the time, I feel okay, but the other 70%, I feel like crap. I tried going back to work yesterday but that was an epic failure. I had a huge headache, couldn't remember anything or talk straight, and started crying. I ended up leaving. Currently, I'm not making any money. That wasn't a problem, until now, because I'm 21 and I still live at home. I don't have to pay rent or look after anyone. But now I've had to start spending my money that was put into my savings account and soon I won't have anything left for when I decide to go back to school.

My employer isn't treating me well. I spoke to my new supervisor last week because I had planned to return this week. I asked her to have someone print out the write-up for me for Monday and she said that they should be able to do that. She also said that the schedule people would have a schedule written up for me and that she'd call me on Friday to let me know what I'd be working on Monday. I never received a call, so when I went back to work yesterday, I came in for the times I had been working before I left. Because my new supervisor wasn't in at the time, I spoke to my old supervisor. She checked and I wasn't even marked down for a shift - not yesterday or any day this week. There was also no word on the write-up. That was odd. Apparently, the requests hadn't gone through and my old supervisor had no record of a schedule or write-up have even been made. I thought that was dumb but since I had to go home and had realized that I was not yet ready to return to work, I didn't mind not having a schedule for the rest of the week. My old supervisor said that it would probably take at least another week for the schedule to be made and that she'd send an e-mail to the schedule people to verify that I'm not ready to come back to work. Yet, I found out from HR that shortly after I had left in tears, a schedule had magically been made (that was sure fast). This means I have to call in sick for the rest of this week and each day will be added as another absence on my record. I don't doubt that this was done intentionally, as this will be counted against me.

I'm trying to decide what to do - whether I should go back to work, even though I don't think I'm ready, whether I should stay on leave and hope that my application with the unemployment sick benefits goes through, or whether I should just go ahead and quit my job. I'll lay out the pros and cons for each option.

*Go Back to Work*

Pros:


 I'm bored and even though my work isn't very exciting, it's something to do. I won't have to sit around doing nothing if I go back.
My actual workplace (minus the HR department) is being cooperative with me. They have offered to put me on light duties for a day or two to get re-acquainted with my job again. This is basically the paper version of the customer service phone calls. I would be processing written letters. So I will not have to rush back into my job, if I do go back.
 I do like my job sometimes. I like being able help other people. I love it when people call in and appreciate the assistance that I offer. I enjoy being patient with people who aren't fluent in English, as they appreciate the extra effort and my cooperation with them. Those people make my day or even my week sometimes.
My dad is suggesting I do this because he says that legally, my work cannot fire me due to illness and he'd like to see them try. I trust his judgment.
Cons:


 I don't feel ready to go back to work and I don't think it would be fair to my employer to come back when I'm still sick. I don't think it's right to do everything half-assed.
 If I return now, it will probably end up being a repeat of what happened in December, where I have to call in sick sporadically and my employer starts getting pissed off at me. HR has already told me that I'll be on probation when I come back to work, due to all of my absences. This means that if my "behaviour" doesn't improve, I could end up getting fired. I'm already upset at the fact that I am in bad standing with my employer because I eventually want to quit this job and I want to be able to leave on a good note. I want to be able to get a good reference from them and I don't want to be on probation and/or end up fired. I don't want my next employer to check with them and think that I'm not a trustworthy employee. It's hard enough finding a job these days.
 I will have to forfeit any potential reimbursement from the unemployment office for the time that I was off work. I can't apply for EI when I'm back at work.
I don't even know if I want my job anymore. I work at a call centre. It's not a job that I see myself hanging on to for much longer. I hate getting yelled at by people who are frustrated with their bills and/or company policy and take it out on me. Despite my best efforts, it gets to me and I sometimes get really upset over it. I'm tempted to quit and find a new job that I actually like, where management treats me better. All of the things that I like about my job are things that I can find elsewhere.
*Stay on Sick Leave*

Pros:


 By staying on sick leave, I still have the option to return to work, once I get better, if I want to.
I am pretty much guaranteed sick benefits from the unemployment office. I also have the chance to get some sort of reimbursement for the time that I've been off work due to illness.
My mom and my best friend are suggesting that I do this. I trust their judgment.
Cons:


I don't think it's fair to my employer to leave them hanging and not know when I'll be coming back. It's not like I have a choice though - I don't even know when I'll be better. It could take a couple of weeks or it could take several months. It might be more ethical to just quit, rather than do this to my employer.
My employer is pressuring me to make a decision. They don't want me to sit on the fence anymore. They want me to either come back or to resign due to illness. It's possible that they might be delaying/withholding the write-up for student loans until I make a decision. I don't see how a little chart takes three weeks to print out. They could do it in ten minutes (that's being generous).
*Quit My Job*

Pros:


I'm tired of my job. As I said above, I don't know if I want to come back.
Why stick around in a job where management treats me like crap?
 I can find a better job.
I'm going to quit soon anyway, I might as well do it now.
Cons:


I might not be able to collect the potential reimbursement for the time I was off work due to illness, if I quit.
I may be less likely to collect current sickness benefits from the unemployment office if I quit.
If I quit, I'll have to find a new job and that means I'll have to go through job searching again. It's very difficult to find a job and I absolutely hate job interviews. It's very stressful for me and I get really hurt and burnt out when things don't go well. I'd rather not have to go through this again, especially when my health isn't great.
I don't know when I'll be feeling better again. So in the meantime, if I am not working and am not able to collect benefits, I won't be making any money and I won't know when another job will come through. It doesn't sound very smart to leave things like that.
HR is trying to pressure me into resigning. They're trying to make me feel guilty about leaving them hanging and they're telling me that it would be easier for me to resign and then reapply later, when I'm better, if I'm still interested (but would they consider me again after my attendance record? At least I have a job now.) They said that they are losing money by not having a reliable employee and it is making it more difficult to meet the expectations of our client. It's a little suspicious why they're so insistent on me resigning.
 My dad thinks that my employer is trying to push me around. He says they're trying to bully me because they think they can get away with it - after all, I'm just a 21 year old girl who is pretty passive. They don't think I'll put up a fight. He says they're trying to get me frustrated by putting off the write-up so student loans will continue to hound me for money and by making things so difficult for me (ie. having to call in sick every day and putting me on probation if I come back) that I'll want to quit. He says that it all boils down to money and they don't want to be responsible for me. If my claim with the unemployment office goes through, to get the benefits, my employer will have to pay into it and he says that they're trying to avoid doing that. He says they're trying to save a buck and they don't care if they screw me over in the process. My parents say that even though there was a clause in the contract that I signed, legally, my employer cannot fire me due to illness. Even if I was over the amount of absences allowed, it still isn't legal to fire someone for that reason. Personally, I don't know whether my employer gets some sort of loophole in this since I agreed to the absence policy. My dad wants me to go back to work and says that if they try to fire me due to the absences that they can face a lawsuit. He's probably hoping that they'll try to fire me, as this sort of thing gets him excited. He loves starting fights with people and I know he'd love to sue them. It seems like no matter what, they want to get rid of me. If I go back to work, they'll make it difficult for me and try to find a way to let me go. But to avoid all of that, they're trying to pressure me so that I'll leave on my own terms.

What do you think I should do?


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## Saboteur (Dec 28, 2009)

Wow, that is a really sticky situation. I vote that you shouldn't give in, assuming the clause you agreed to doesn't give them the right to fire you even when you're ill, because if it does, your plan will have to change.

You might want to find a lawyer (there are probably a few, or at least those who know a few, on Personality Cafe) who can interpret the clause for you, because that is a major criterion to consider.

I hope this turns in your favor.


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## Solace (Jan 12, 2010)

Hello, I remember your other thread and while I was not a doctor then, and continue not to be a doctor, perhaps I could offer some advice.

It sounds like you know, deep down, what you want to do and that under ideal circumstances you would already be looking for a different job. From what you've outlined the benefits of the job don't seem to outweigh the overall way you feel about it, especially if the environment there isn't conducive to improving your health. For that alone I would suggest that you quit. However with your current situation regarding sick leave and the situation with your school, it seems clear that you need to retain the benefits of your job at least temporarily.

I understand your concern regarding "fairness" to your employer and think it's great that you are so empathetic, but they'll recover from your absence, the real question is how you will recover. Ignore your employer; I think that your father is probably right and that they may only have their business interests in mind, but that doesn't mean that you should give up the benefits that you've worked for, and given your sentiment, likely earned. It may feel a bit awkward, but you should probably just stay on leave until you can come to a resolution with them and yourself. This sounds like one of those situations in which you can't find a middle ground, so rather than trying to find something that may appease both you and your employer, err on the side of your health.

---
Random speculation:
In regards to your health, I just thought of something that, while unlikely, perhaps you might look into. I went back over your thread regarding your health (link) and thought that maybe you have a sensitivity to light (link). There is also a sensitivity to the intensity of light: photophobia; while not a "fear of light" medically speaking, can result from too much light entering the eye, regardless of the source.

I thought of this because fluorescent/compact fluorescent lights can sometimes flicker at a frequency that only some people can pick up (as people see things differently) which then irritates their eyes. It can also simply be related to the light source itself or the intensity of light. This can develop over time and cause migranes and "also induce depersonalization and derealization, subsequently, it can worsen depersonalization disorder symptomology." But mainly it sounds like it may be disorienting for the mind and body, which might have similar symptoms to a vitamin or other dietary deficiency.

Do you find that you have symptoms when out in direct sunlight, viewing intense light, or under certain types of light?

---

Anyway, I hope that helps and that you find out what ails you and are able to cure it quickly. And don't stress out too much, none of this seems to be your fault. =)


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## amanda32 (Jul 23, 2009)

Stay on sick leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1


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## BlissfulDreams (Dec 25, 2009)

Saboteur said:


> Wow, that is a really sticky situation. I vote that you shouldn't give in, assuming the clause you agreed to doesn't give them the right to fire you even when you're ill, because if it does, your plan will have to change.
> 
> You might want to find a lawyer (there are probably a few, or at least those who know a few, on Personality Cafe) who can interpret the clause for you, because that is a major criterion to consider.
> 
> I hope this turns in your favor.


I was thinking of staying on sick leave until I know exactly what my options are. You're right, I should speak to a lawyer about this because they can interpret what the clause actually means. My dad wants me to talk to my grandfather (his father) about my situation, because my grandfather has all sorts of connections. He knows many businessmen in the city and he probably knows a few lawyers too. He also knows several politicians who hold seats in office, so really, he can get a lot of people to help me out. My grandfather also has years worth of experience in business and administrative work, so he knows what he's talking about.

I want to get the opinion of a lawyer before I decide on anything. In particular, I'd like to speak to one who works in the labour field. If a lawyer says that my work's policy has no ground, they may advise me to try going back to work, since I'd be making much more than I would through benefits (provided that I continue working at full-time). But if the lawyer says that things are against me, they may advise me to quit, or at least stay on leave. I don't know what they'd say. I'm just hoping that I still have my copy of the paperwork that I had signed. With the way that they're treating me, I don't think they'd provide me with a copy of the contract papers - especially if they knew that a lawyer would be checking them out. Everything really boils down to what the papers actually say. Once I understand the legalities, I can make a proper decision.

Thank you for your suggestions and encouragement.


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## BlissfulDreams (Dec 25, 2009)

Spades said:


> Hello, I remember your other thread and while I was not a doctor then, and continue not to be a doctor, perhaps I could offer some advice.
> 
> It sounds like you know, deep down, what you want to do and that under ideal circumstances you would already be looking for a different job. From what you've outlined the benefits of the job don't seem to outweigh the overall way you feel about it, especially if the environment there isn't conducive to improving your health. For that alone I would suggest that you quit. However with your current situation regarding sick leave and the situation with your school, it seems clear that you need to retain the benefits of your job at least temporarily.
> 
> I understand your concern regarding "fairness" to your employer and think it's great that you are so empathetic, but they'll recover from your absence, the real question is how you will recover. Ignore your employer; I think that your father is probably right and that they may only have their business interests in mind, but that doesn't mean that you should give up the benefits that you've worked for, and given your sentiment, likely earned. It may feel a bit awkward, but you should probably just stay on leave until you can come to a resolution with them and yourself. This sounds like one of those situations in which you can't find a middle ground, so rather than trying to find something that may appease both you and your employer, err on the side of your health.


As I mentioned above, I do think that I should stay on leave. And I agree with you, since it's very difficult to find middle ground, the best way to determine the right thing to do might be to side with what's best for my health. The problem with that is HR is treating sick leave like it isn't even an option. The woman who I spoke to on the phone was very snarky with me. As I said in my last post, she was really trying to make me feel guilty about staying on sick leave. She asked me why I was so insistent on staying on leave and said that if I'm worried about benefits, that I can still get them if I resign. She refuted everything that I said and all of her points came back to resigning due to illness. She was very adamant about that.



Spades said:


> Random speculation:
> In regards to your health, I just thought of something that, while unlikely, perhaps you might look into. I went back over your thread regarding your health (link) and thought that maybe you have a sensitivity to light (link). There is also a sensitivity to the intensity of light: photophobia; while not a "fear of light" medically speaking, can result from too much light entering the eye, regardless of the source.
> 
> I thought of this because fluorescent/compact fluorescent lights can sometimes flicker at a frequency that only some people can pick up (as people see things differently) which then irritates their eyes. It can also simply be related to the light source itself or the intensity of light. This can develop over time and cause migranes and "also induce depersonalization and derealization, subsequently, it can worsen depersonalization disorder symptomology." But mainly it sounds like it may be disorienting for the mind and body, which might have similar symptoms to a vitamin or other dietary deficiency.
> ...


I have been avoiding my old thread because I was faced with some criticism. I started to take it personally and wondered whether it was worth it to keep posting updates on my condition. I have just posted a new update, so you may be interested in checking that out. The dizzy spells have almost gone away completely. Right now, I'm almost convinced that I either have Celiac Disease or at least an intolerance to gluten (they aren't the same thing). The only time that I actually feel dizzy anymore is when I eat something that has gluten in it. Other than that, I just get bad headaches and tiredness. I also experience some lightheadedness and confusion sometimes. Since what I eat seems to directly relate to the dizziness, I doubt that it was a sensitivity to light that brought it on. However, because I appreciate the time that you took to write your suggestions, I will answer your question.

I am sensitive to certain types of light. In particular, fluorescent lights bother me. I do hear buzzing from them and electronics sometimes. I also feel tired if I'm around them for a long time. For some reason, blue LED lights bother me to no end. I'm fine with any other colour. Where I live, people tend to go crazy decorating with them and I can't look at them for more than I few seconds without my eyes hurting. I don't get a headache, but I feel like I'm straining my eyes. It's almost like it's burning my eyes. Also, sunlight makes me sneeze. For example, if I'm coming outside after being inside, in normal lighting, the brightness makes me sneeze. I've heard of the condition before but don't understand why it happens. It's an annoyance but nothing more. I also have a sensitivity to camera flashes and I tend to out-blink most flashes, unless I force my eyes to stay open (not a good look). So I do experience quite a few problems from different types of light. I'm not sure what all of this means or whether it has anything at all to do with the physical symptoms that I've been having.

I don't think that what I was experiencing was migraines. The doctor that I was seeing, along with some of the specialists that I've seen thought that might be what I have. A lot of symptoms fit. However, from what I've heard, migraines are very intense and people often feel like they're going to throw up. I wouldn't describe my headaches as being that intense. My headaches can get quite bad but they are not a very sharp, stabbing pain, like migraine sufferers describe.

I would like this thread to stay focused on my job problems rather than my health, so if you'd like to go into depth about my health symptoms, please respond to that part of this post in my old thread. Feel free to quote this post in there. Thank you for all of your suggestions, kindness, and encouragement :happy:


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## reyesaaronringo (Dec 27, 2009)

i think your dad might be wrong about the firing bit. unless you have some type of union most employees are considered "at will" hires. in other words your employer does not need to give a reason to fire you. the only thing that they can't fire you for are things that are protected by law like race, gender, religion, sexual preference and things like that.


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