# How to let out your emotions



## TheEpicPolymath (Dec 5, 2014)

Hi Guys. I have a certain problem in releasing my emotions. I may feel very hurt or bad on the inside but I tend to 
bottle it up instead of crying. This causes inappropriate outburts later on. How can I develop my Fe?


----------



## ectomorphine (Jan 5, 2015)

Mmm it depends.. are you athletically oriented?


----------



## TheEpicPolymath (Dec 5, 2014)

No


----------



## lucia4 (Sep 5, 2014)

I find exercise to be a really generic, mainstream and useless way to cope with emotions. For me it doesn't work at all, it just makes me feel more frustrated. Even if I take a walk, I will use that walk to bottle up my emotions and make it even worse by giving me time to fully focus on it.


----------



## Volant (Oct 5, 2013)

Well, as someone whose MBTI type--ISTP--is known for bottling up emotions like soda in a can, I suggest writing, singing, drawing, or doing some strenuous physical activity for release of tension. Sometimes, though, crying is the best way to get it out. For me, I have to be by myself for X time, and during that time I let the emotions sweep through me and try to study each one. Since I like to write, I occasionally use this time to study how I react to certain things, jotting down notes and trying to remember how X feels compared to Y and how Z character might react to XY. I often take naps, too, because after an emotional release I'm bone-tired, and napping helps to restore my spent energy. 

Some of the worst (most hilarious to read later?) poetry can come out of writing during this time, too; check out this book: http://www.amazon.com/Teen-Angst-Ce...TF8&qid=1422738881&sr=8-2&keywords=teen+angst


----------



## Dragunov (Oct 2, 2013)

What happens during your outbursts?


----------



## 007phantom (May 1, 2010)

Going to the gym. Listening to music at odd hours of the night.


----------



## Ixim (Jun 19, 2013)

I will post my problem here as well. Who knows, maybe it'll help you as well?

Kinda the same problem applies to me as well. All my emotions are SO internalised/bottled, that I started calling it "emotional chinese wall". It's not so hard to influence me, but get a response from me? GOOD LUCK! The only way I respond is through anger and force. And I REALLY, REALLY don't want to express myself as an angry, crazy Sith! All those emotions are so pressurised down there(down where?) that when even what should be a display of a positive emotion, comes out as a display of forceful emotion(errr....I meant kinda forced). My inborn zeal/Fi-dom doesn't exactly help either. That's exactly why sometimes I have this fear that I'll just punch a guy-doesn't matter who he is! It is...rather nasty!

Oh, I don't cry either(unless it's a HAPPY occasion!), so...wtf?


----------



## TheEpicPolymath (Dec 5, 2014)

Dragunov said:


> What happens during your outbursts?


I start torturing the others around me.


----------



## AriesLilith (Jan 6, 2013)

Do you ignore your emotions? Do you know where they come from? First you need to start "digging" your emotions out bit by bit, trying to analyze them and understand why they happen. The more you try to just ignore them, the more they get out of control.


----------



## Dragunov (Oct 2, 2013)

TheEpicPolymath said:


> I start torturing the others around me.


I'm pretty sure you don't literally mean torturing the others around you so be a little more descriptive?


----------



## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

It's hard. You need to understand why you're repressing them in the first place, and then work on fixing that. 

Fear of what other people will think of you?


----------



## Notus Asphodelus (Jan 20, 2015)

You need to have a body massage and then go to sleep. Hopefully, by the time you wake up, you may think calmly of the next thing you need to do regarding what you feel.


----------



## TheEpicPolymath (Dec 5, 2014)

Dragunov said:


> I'm pretty sure you don't literally mean torturing the others around you so be a little more descriptive?


Bothering them on purpose, hitting them, teasing them etc.


----------



## Ixim (Jun 19, 2013)

TheEpicPolymath said:


> Bothering them on purpose, hitting them, teasing them etc.


HITTING THEM? Like, for real?

I had an epiphany since I last wrote. "The harder you try to control something, the faster you lose the control of it" . What you need to do is following:

Identify the problem causing emotions to get locked up -> Deal with it -> Move on

I know for a fact that solution is VERY HARD and PAINFUL to do. But in order to move on, it is literally the only way you can go. Trust me, it's better for all parties involved. I had my emotions locked up all up until I realised that they aren't really gone. They are merely stored in another form. Hence I discovered them(again) and now I can move on.

I always thought that emotions simply had to come in some kind of Fe yet I foolishly ignored Fi even in spite me not only being aware of its existence, but knowing that everyone has it. Still, I have entropic to thank. I never quite heard my convictions as passionate as they really are.


----------



## Aizceq (Dec 27, 2014)

From your profile You are an INTJ,

INTJs are weak at emotions. I, myself is not good at showing right emotions at right time. The case is with anger specifically. There are some instances when you have to show your anger, and I sometime completely miss that while analyzing the situation.

My solution to this problem -
I realized - "Being angry at someone hurt yourself", that said, I am not saying you should forgive(not punish) other party. I am saying there is difference between there is a difference b/w not getting angry and forgiving someone. Anger does more harm to you than other party. Forgiving(not punishing) means Ignoring someones mistake which should not be done.

INTJs are good at making plans. So whenever you feel that you are angry toward someone, Take a notebook and write down a detail plan on how will you punish them. (I am not saying you have to make the plan a reality -> you can make movies out of them later). But you will loose your anger knowing that they will be punished.


----------



## TheEpicPolymath (Dec 5, 2014)

gauravmeena0708 said:


> From your profile You are an INTJ,
> 
> INTJs are weak at emotions. I, myself is not good at showing right emotions at right time. The case is with anger specifically. There are some instances when you have to show your anger, and I sometime completely miss that while analyzing the situation.
> 
> ...


I might be INTP, but the solution is awesome!


----------



## Aizceq (Dec 27, 2014)

^^ Earlier answer looked like mess. so here is the summary: 

"Whenever you are angry take a notebook and write a detailed plan on How you will punish the other party." (at least 200-300 word).

This will ease your anger.


----------



## Ixim (Jun 19, 2013)

gauravmeena0708 said:


> ^^ Earlier answer looked like mess. so here is the summary:
> 
> "Whenever you are angry take a notebook and write a detailed plan on How you will punish the other party." (at least 200-300 word).
> 
> This will ease your anger.


But...

What if he is in the middle of getting tested in school. Is he supposed to just pull a nb out and start writing? That'll look crazy!
What if he is in the middle of a job interview and gets a DENY. Why should he even have a nb with him?
What if he just casually went for a stroll through a city, boarded a bus and then some old ha...lady, yes lady pissed him off? Notebook, WHAT NOTEBOOK?
What if he was violently waked up(by a sound of drill or a bulldozer or whatever)? Should he sleep with a notebook as well?
What if...?

I know that your suggestion is in the VERY BEST of INTENTIONS, but it's not really practical is it now? I'd agree that he should do just what you suggested IF HE IS ABLE TO currently.

Sorry for Ne diarrhea :tongue:


----------



## Aizceq (Dec 27, 2014)

Ixim said:


> But...
> 
> What if he is in the middle of getting tested in school. Is he supposed to just pull a nb out and start writing? That'll look crazy!
> What if he is in the middle of a job interview and gets a DENY. Why should he even have a nb with him?
> ...


thinkers do not necessarily need a nb to imagine a scenario they are good in visualizing the scene in their head. so thats not a problem on anger side but he might miss on making movies out of them if nb is not used


----------



## Ixim (Jun 19, 2013)

gauravmeena0708 said:


> thinkers do not necessarily need a nb to imagine a scenario they are good in visualizing the scene in their head. so thats not a problem on anger side but he might miss on making movies out of them if nb is not used


I know exactly this much . about thinkers so you must be right. And your advice is sound:

He might be next Lucas! Just let him not be another Bay(UGH GOD!).

edit: your Te is very welcome! I never say no to it!


----------



## Deus Absconditus (Feb 27, 2011)

Punch yourself as hard as possible in the face, and I guarantee you some type of emotion will surface, and then it'll be easier to let everything else out. You just need a little push that's all :tongue:


----------



## Aizceq (Dec 27, 2014)

Shadow Logic said:


> Punch yourself as hard as possible in the face, and I guarantee you some type of emotion will surface, and then it'll be easier to let everything else out. You just need a little push that's all :tongue:


It can give momentarily relief, it will not satisfy you for long term. 
Once I tried punching the wall :frustrating:, for a moment I was happy that there was small dent in wall; rest of day I was not that happy. But it is sure way to go to feel the pain of people you are hurting.


----------



## Deus Absconditus (Feb 27, 2011)

gauravmeena0708 said:


> It can give momentarily relief, it will not satisfy you for long term.
> *Once I tried punching the wall :frustrating:, for a moment I was happy that there was small dent in wall; rest of day I was not that happy*. But it is sure way to go to feel the pain of people you are hurting.


You should've kept punching the wall to maintain that happiness


----------



## Aizceq (Dec 27, 2014)

Shadow Logic said:


> You should've kept punching the wall to maintain that happiness


You made me doubt my Te











Oh .. I was busy taking care of my fractured finger


----------



## Deus Absconditus (Feb 27, 2011)

gauravmeena0708 said:


> You made me doubt my Te
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Ah, there you go maintaining that blissful happiness, the more fractures the greater the rate of happiness, can't go wrong with fractured limbs when trying to achieve optimal happiness


----------



## china (Feb 11, 2015)

try a punching bag.. not your own face or a wall


----------



## Aizceq (Dec 27, 2014)

Shadow Logic said:


> Ah, there you go maintaining that blissful happiness, the more fractures the greater the rate of happiness, can't go wrong with fractured limbs when trying to achieve optimal happiness


Yes, I do agree, I missed the opportunity. If I hadn't lost my focus -> I have no words for that happiness even memes can't describe it. Best i could come with is


----------



## TheEpicPolymath (Dec 5, 2014)

ok


----------



## Bassmasterzac (Jun 6, 2014)

Have trouble allowing yourself to express emotions? Get piss drunk for a night by yourself. Depressed? Put on Frank Sinatra. Pissed off? Put Corrosion of Conformity. Lovesick? Put on Red Hot Chili Peppers pandora radio. 

Have too much emotion built up and need an outlet? Find a nice, big pillow and bury your face in it. Cry or yell at the top of your lungs and swear at everything you're pissed off.

Have trouble expressing your emotions to other people? Build your self-esteem, be more assertive, be a little selfish (in a healthy way), and a little less sensitive.


----------



## TheEpicPolymath (Dec 5, 2014)

It's not about releasing them anymore. I feel like a psychopath, someone incapable of empathy.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

TheEpicPolymath said:


> It's not about releasing them anymore. I feel like a psychopath, someone incapable of empathy.


Why do you feel that you need to have empathy?


----------



## TheEpicPolymath (Dec 5, 2014)

Termus123 said:


> Why do you feel that you need to have empathy?


It's killing me inside.


----------



## Schizoid (Jan 31, 2015)

TheEpicPolymath said:


> Hi Guys. I have a certain problem in releasing my emotions. I may feel very hurt or bad on the inside but I tend to
> bottle it up instead of crying. This causes inappropriate outburts later on. How can I develop my Fe?



INTJs have inferior Se, so it's time to turn to your inferior Se when you feel stressed. Try engaging in activities that allows you to express yourself, such as writing, drawing, and music. You can also try travelling to other countries too.
As an INFJ with inferior Se as well, these activities always managed to cheer me up and make me feel better whenever I am feeling down.

And also, you can try reading up some inspirational books about people who are successful and happy in life. And perhaps you can also try listening to some meditation music. Oh and also some alone time would benefit you as well.

Basically try to engage in your Ni and Se whenever you feel stressed.


----------



## TheEpicPolymath (Dec 5, 2014)

Schizoid said:


> INTJs have inferior Se, so it's time to turn to your inferior Se when you feel stressed. Try engaging in activities that allows you to express yourself, such as writing, drawing, and music. You can also try travelling to other countries too.
> As an INFJ with inferior Se as well, these activities always managed to cheer me up and make me feel better whenever I am feeling down.
> 
> And also, you can try reading up some inspirational books about people who are successful and happy in life. And perhaps you can also try listening to some meditation music. Oh and also some alone time would benefit you as well.
> ...


Thanks!


----------

