# Do you think INFPs are the least outwardly expressive/most outwardly 'cold' of the fe



## The Nameless Composer (Sep 20, 2014)

Do you think INFPs are the least outwardly expressive/most outwardly 'cold' of the feelers?


----------



## Airess3 (Oct 14, 2014)

In my opinion from experience, yes.


----------



## renee13 (Sep 11, 2012)

INFPS definitely have the capacity to be so, but I believe it is only from depressed or unhealthy infps. When they are healthy and happy many infps can be extremely warm. I also believe that infjs and entps can come across just as cold if not colder.


----------



## The Nameless Composer (Sep 20, 2014)

^ well ENTPs are thinkers, of course.

I can be pretty expressive, warm, friendly etc, but I'm also quite reserved. It's ironic my smileyness is both a result of my insecurity/nervousness but also natural amiability. It does depend a lot on my mood, but you can be sure it's usually genuine.


----------



## irulee (Jun 25, 2012)

renee13 said:


> INFPS definitely have the capacity to be so, but I believe it is only from depressed or unhealthy infps. *When they are healthy and happy many infps can be extremely warm.* I also believe that infjs and entps can come across just as cold if not colder.


Well, if that's the case, I really am a healthy INFP, yay~ercsmile1: 

Anyways, I agree. Just because we don't put our feelings out there similar to, and as often as, Fe types, doesn't mean we don't have any (which in this case I consider _cold_. This reminds me of that stereotype of Fi users/the function itself being selfish, which is obviously not true. With that stereotype, the question at hand, and anything else, it all depends on the individual, not the type/function(s).

My friends and family, as well as myself, consider me to have a love-dovey attitude, and always in a good mood. One friend rated me 11/10 on how affectionate I am. Some others (thinker friends), including my mom (INTJ), often get concerned/annoyed with my bubbly optimist attitude to things they consider to be ordinary, unimportant, etc. (though, as far as I know, they never attempt to _intentionally_ ruin my mood).

Then there are times when I'm actually experiencing negative feelings. During those times I'm not as expressive. Though, I wouldn't consider myself cold... I'd either have that inferior Te moment where I just talk my way through my anger, expressing how I feel and why, to who ever is willing to listen, and/or cry (the degree depends on the setting and importance).


----------



## AmalyaIvy (Mar 12, 2015)

I have never felt them to be cold but they are reserved. When I converse with them, I can understand them better and they can be very warm afterwards. I have INFP friends, they are a friendly bunch.


----------



## Aqualung (Nov 21, 2009)

For me it depends on my comfort zone. I can be very social or a cold robot, depending on the environment. I'm usually somewhere in the middle. Wondering if that's how other INFPs are. I haven't known another INFP in years.


----------



## Aelthwyn (Oct 27, 2010)

My personal impression - which is quite limited of course - is that I'm a lot more likely to think an INFJ comes off as a "Thinker" than I am with INFPs (perhaps to do with Fe not being their primary function?). I kind of feel like they're more likely to be able to keep themselves composed, or find it more important to do so, when an INFP may have an overflow of emotional expression that they may not mean to let out but can't hide as well as they want or they just don't care if it's an appropriate moment to say... bounce and giggle or collapse into a mopey blob. Just my personal experiences with me and friends there.... *shrug*

I know personally I can be pretty emotionally expressive(dramatic). In environments where I feel uncomfortable it's true I can just clam up and stare apprehensively/glower at the room around me, but when anyone who seems to have good intentions approches me I think I usually come off as accepting and comfortable and well meaning towards them. I doubt I come off as cold to anyone who isn't being annoying/cold/condescending/mean to me first.


----------



## Golden Rose (Jun 5, 2014)

In the large majority of cases, yes.

I'm very open and honest with my personal emotions, I simply don't feel a need to express them around most people and often assume that they're obvious enough or that they'd be easily misinterpreted if I voiced them. Around close friends or my lover, I can be way too much emotionally intense, nothing like Fi breaking the dam and pouring out in huge waves.

Physically speaking I'm not particularly expressive or a huge smiler, I have a very neutral/bored face. Those close to me have mastered to understand my slight :J smile is as far as I can go and charming in its own right. I can do awkward semi-smiles but I generally send off strong melancholic/spacey/angsty vibes. 

I'm not a fan of dramatic manifestations of emotion like screaming, 'fake' crying or roaring laughter.
But INFPs can be extremely warm once you win their heart and let them embrace your realest side.


----------



## The Nameless Composer (Sep 20, 2014)

Aelthwyn said:


> My personal impression - which is quite limited of course - is that I'm a lot more likely to think an INFJ comes off as a "Thinker" than I am with INFPs (perhaps to do with Fe not being their primary function?). I kind of feel like they're more likely to be able to keep themselves composed, or find it more important to do so, when an INFP may have an overflow of emotional expression that they may not mean to let out but can't hide as well as they want or they just don't care if it's an appropriate moment to say... bounce and giggle or collapse into a mopey blob. Just my personal experiences with me and friends there.... *shrug*
> 
> I know personally I can be pretty emotionally expressive(dramatic). In environments where I feel uncomfortable it's true I can just clam up and stare apprehensively/glower at the room around me, but when anyone who seems to have good intentions approches me I think I usually come off as accepting and comfortable and well meaning towards them. I doubt I come off as cold to anyone who isn't being annoying/cold/condescending/mean to me first.


Always love your posts Aelthwyn! And yeah, though I don't know that many INFJs irl who I've typed, I can see that, based on those I know online. INFJs might be a little more into ideas, although being Ni dom they are a bit more composed, thoughtful.etc. I can relate to the overflow, but I usually keep things in check (at least inside), though I give away more than I intend too. Wonder if that's a common INFP thing? Would you also agree INFPs share a lot more/or more personable online versus in person? Judging by the INFP facebook group they seem actually possibly THE friendliest group online, most welcoming, understanding.

Me too. I can come off as reserved, shy if I'm not comfortable (or I can be easily mistaken for a gregarious extravert in short bursts/circumstances), but seldom cranky/cold. Some have thought of me as slightly aloof, having said that.


----------



## The Nameless Composer (Sep 20, 2014)

Hotaru said:


> In the large majority of cases, yes.
> 
> I'm very open and honest with my personal emotions, I simply don't feel a need to express them around most people and often assume that they're obvious enough or that they'd be easily misinterpreted if I voiced them. Around close friends or my lover, I can be way too much emotionally intense, nothing like Fi breaking the dam and pouring out in huge waves.
> 
> ...


No, I don't think INFPs generally are. Like most INFP females I know aren't the hyper-affectionate/expressive/kissy/huggy/excitable types.


----------



## Golden Rose (Jun 5, 2014)

The Nameless Composer said:


> No, I don't think INFPs generally are. Like most INFP females I know aren't the hyper-affectionate/expressive/kissy/huggy/excitable types.


I'm hardly kissy/huggy/overly excitable around 90% of the people I know.

In case of very close friends/boyfriend I can be a huge cuddleslut at times (circumstances aside) but probably less so than Fe girls though I'm not sure about that as Si is a very intimate function and in the end it all boils down to private manifestations versus the lack of apparent enthusiasm and strong personal boundaries I set among most acquaintances or 'friends'. Then again, I'm also an enneagram 4, one of the most emotionally stormy types, I think a core 9 INFP would be a lot more placid and apathetic. I'm nuts.

I can get very internally excited over something meaningful to me which can be very small things but it's never in an outward hyper dramatic way. That doesn't mean I'm a cold person, far from it, just that I'm not particularly physically expressive and most theatrical reactions seem very fake to me.


----------



## surgery (Apr 16, 2010)

In my experience, no. I find other Fi users to be very warm and giggly once you get to know them. I think most people are taught to be aloof an unexpressive in public or around people they don't know. That being said, my ISFP mother will never be as talkative and loud as her ENTJ father, yet I don't consider her "cold" and "unexpressive".


----------



## The Nameless Composer (Sep 20, 2014)

Hotaru said:


> I'm hardly kissy/huggy/overly excitable around 90% of the people I know.
> 
> In case of very close friends/boyfriend I can be a huge cuddleslut at times (circumstances aside) but probably less so than Fe girls though I'm not sure about that as Si is a very intimate function and in the end it all boils down to private manifestations versus the lack of apparent enthusiasm and strong personal boundaries I set among most acquaintances or 'friends'. Then again, I'm also an enneagram 4, one of the most emotionally stormy types, I think a core 9 INFP would be a lot more placid and apathetic. I'm nuts.
> 
> I can get very internally excited over something meaningful to me which can be very small things but it's never in an outward hyper dramatic way. That doesn't mean I'm a cold person, far from it, just that I'm not particularly physically expressive and most theatrical reactions seem very fake to me.


Are you a 4w5? I'm 5w4, which is the more thoughtful/analytical sub-type of INFP. Also borderline T.


----------



## General Lee Awesome (Sep 28, 2014)

probably lol. ENFPs are better, a lot better at it. but ENFPs are be very over the top LOL, which is very weird for me


----------



## Maryanne Francis (Jun 22, 2013)

The Nameless Composer said:


> Do you think INFPs are the least outwardly expressive/most outwardly 'cold' of the feelers?


Absolutely.


----------



## Golden Rose (Jun 5, 2014)

The Nameless Composer said:


> Are you a 4w5? I'm 5w4, which is the more thoughtful/analytical sub-type of INFP. Also borderline T.


I am, it's in my signature too.

I don't believe in "F and T" dichotomies because I use Jungian functions/Socionics to examine types but as a 5 you might be more emotionally detached than other INFPs with a sharper grasp on your Te. 

I have a lot of 5 in me, it often shows when my core Four intensity doesn't drown it.


----------



## The Nameless Composer (Sep 20, 2014)

Hotaru said:


> I am, it's in my signature too.
> 
> I don't believe in "F and T" dichotomies because I use Jungian functions/Socionics to examine types but as a 5 you might be more emotionally detached than other INFPs with a sharper grasp on your Te.
> 
> I have a lot of 5 in me, it often shows when my core Four intensity doesn't drown it.


Definitely. I've actually been called rational, level-headed, not too emotionally moved, yet my emotions can run deeply, sometimes so deeply I don't feel them on the surface. I can be sharply investigative, wanting to break down things according to a logical framework I've built in my mind which can resemble Ti/Ni.


----------



## VivaCohen (Jan 8, 2010)

Yes, because we have introverted feeling as our dominant function. We feel very strongly and very deeply but this feeling is very introverted so we're often mistaken for "cold", "aloof", "thinkers", "INTP", "snooty", "bitches" lol It's Fe/extroverted feeling that = expressed feelings and we just don't have strong Fe


----------



## Outrageousoreo (Oct 7, 2015)

I actually have asked my friends what I was like before I starting hanging out with them. They said I was very shy or I looked depressed even if I didn't feel depressed xD as an INFP 549, it really depends on my comfort level. I find when I am intrigued or excited for a new experience, I am more jocular and relaxed. I don't naturally become overly friendly and still maintain some caution. I don't reveal things about myself even then so I guess this seems cold?&#55357;&#56859; I warm up easily to people who are 'different'. It's odd like as if I understand them better. I tend to become more reserved when someone is too friendly.&#55357;&#56880;


----------



## xraydav (Jan 3, 2013)

The Nameless Composer said:


> Do you think INFPs are the least outwardly expressive/most outwardly 'cold' of the feelers?


It depends, many INFPs, like ISFPs, I've noticed have this cold exterior, but then in certain moments they can all of a sudden be the most energetic and outwardly expressive in the room. And everyone just silently watches in amazement. 

Other times, I've seen INFJs have this consistent exterior (it's generally not cold, but it's friendly) but it's unmoving compared to other types. Even when the world around them is falling down, they have consistency in their 'outward emotions' approach. I think this is also shared with ISFJs, when it comes to emotional expression. 

So Fe Feelers are more consistent with whatever emotional expression levels they maintain, in my experience, while Fi Feelers are more cold and unemotional outwardly, but have moments where they are more emotional and expressive of these emotions.


----------



## 124567 (Feb 12, 2013)

This is why I don't think I can be an INFP. I'm just to emotionally expressive. I also shower others with emotions :laughing:

I've been disappointed by many INFPs, esp online ones since I don't know many IRL. I realized they arent as emotionally supportive as I expected them to be since they are F.


----------



## allanzo (Feb 6, 2014)

I think INFPs can be emotionally expressive at times. It depends on your comfort level. I don't want to talk about my feelings often, but I do show lots of emotion. If I'm tired, I'm just not that excited. But I don't think I'm cold.


----------



## hksfdgknsjbdklrafbku (Jan 2, 2015)

People tell me I'm really friendly, but I don't really feel like I'm too friendly - especially if I'm uncomfortable! I'd like to feel more open emotionally for sure. I agree with the earlier posts that the healthier an INFP is, the less aloof they are (with exceptions of course)


----------



## sinaasappel (Jul 22, 2015)

i dont think so, i cant really say i think any feeler is cold/ unemotional and that is aside from the " feelers use emotions thing" 
the infps i know are very emotionally intense, especially when they angry (they re usually arguing morally and this isnt a stereotype, they dont like morally wrong things jokes etc.) and sometimes it is both scary and offensive to me, its not a bad thing, but when they they get offended and use their emotions in an intense way (usually vocally) it just does something, i try to keep my emotions in check because they can seriously evoke them. but thats what i like about infps, they are passionate about what they believe and know how to hit a nerve. but to be emotionally cold i definately dont think thats the case

all in all though i really like infps and i dont think they are emotionally cold

now outwardly expressive that just has to do with the level of introversion the infps i know are pretty introverted but one is more so than the other
but if i had to say least outwardly expressive it would probably be an infj 

because the infj i know shes very nice but really selective


----------



## Rabid Seahorse (Mar 10, 2015)

I would put them second, with ISFP's being the least outwardly expressive. I can usually read INFP's pretty well because even though they don't usually show their feelings, they kind of show their _reactions_ to their feelings on their faces. They also are more open with talking about their values and feelings. ISFP's are almost mute when it comes to this. They don't communicate well verbally and it's like they try super hard to come off as detached lol.


----------



## Chompy (May 2, 2015)

No not at all in my experience, they just tend to be a bit detached sometimes.


----------



## SunClef (May 7, 2013)

Perhaps I don't express my feelings in my actions, or words, but look at my face and you will recognize what is happening inside me. There are people more expresssive than me, but I'm very warm when I want to bond with people.


----------



## SalvinaZerelda (Aug 26, 2010)

Before I became unhealthy I considered myself "friendly" and I don't know if I was ever considered cold by anyone.. but I was very distant and aloof from the majority of people.. for good reason.
I was never mean about it, though..
I would not have turned down a person in need of help if I was able to help them, and if a person approached me in a friendly way, I was willing to be friends and nice and all that stuff as well..

I only became cold when I started becoming logical.. and learned how to tell people "no".


----------



## jakeskye (Oct 12, 2015)

As an INFP I'd say from personal experience...yes. 

I have no problem being friendly, my friends would probably say I can get quite chatty and laugh a bit in conversation, but I don't think my friendliness or politeness in some cases is really an outwardly emotional expression rather than just me adapting to the situation.

_Apart from that,_ I actually do think I find myself being fairly (if not very) outwardly detached and I observe myself doing so. I don't really show my emotions externally at all, only in certain situations I'm provoked to the point I lose my temper. Although I don't express myself much and I'm usually quite stoic and held back. It really depends on the situation but as a general rule of thumb yes to your question.



Rabid Seahorse said:


> I can usually read INFP's pretty well because even though they don't usually show their feelings, they kind of show their _reactions_ to their feelings on their faces.


I definitely agree with this. I don't show my feelings readily but my friends (well, mostly my more intuitive and socially sensitive friends), have told me that they could tell I was angry or agitated, even though I didn't express it at all, because of my subtle reactions, slight changes on my face and my mannerism. 



GIA Diamonds said:


> the infps i know are very emotionally intense, especially when they angry (they re usually arguing morally and this isnt a stereotype, they dont like morally wrong things jokes etc.) and sometimes it is both scary and offensive to me, its not a bad thing, but when they they get offended and use their emotions in an intense way (usually vocally) it just does something, i try to keep my emotions in check because they can seriously evoke them. but thats what i like about infps, they are passionate about what they believe and know how to hit a nerve. but to be emotionally cold i definately dont think thats the case


I also have to agree with a lot of this. Internally I feel like my emotions are always intense, although I do enjoy taking a break from them periodically by switching towards the colder side of things...but when I do feel, it's usually intense especially if something clashes hugely with my morals and values. I don't normally lose my temper but if a certain nerve gets hit I can express it either very intensely or I engage in a debate in the most swiftly and invested analytical way possible. _But_ being passionate about some things doesn't necessarily cancel out the emotionally cold part- emotionally a bit held back is the expression, internally can sometimes be another matter.


----------



## MatchaBlizzard (Sep 20, 2011)

Depends. Of feeling types? I think some INFJs could contend for top place. INFPs can appear cold sometimes too. It really depends on the person and their state of mind. I think Ts do cold better\easier.


----------

