# Feeling rejected by society



## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

To start off, I'm 17 and I've never had a friend, not one in my entire life. I tried to make friends from the time I was in kindergarten (so about 5 years old) until I was 16, then I gave up because it's obvious that no one wants to be my friend and it feels like no one even wants me around. I used to get bullied a lot in school too, and not even the school wanted to do anything about it. It's like no one cares about me. I notice all these other people my age, who have friends, go to parties, going to college, and becoming independent of their parents, but I'm not doing any of those things. It really bothers me because I feel like I'm being left out of all the things that teens usually experience. I have never had a friend, never been invited to a party (or even to anyone's house), I don't want to go to college (why the hell would I want to experience high school all over again? I'm sure college would just be another 4 years of misery and rejection), and I'm not independent of my parents at all. I don't know how to drive, I don't know how to do most things on my own, and I don't have a job (I'm incompetent and I doubt anyone would ever hire me).
I just don't understand why no one wants me around. I don't act weird, I'm just quiet and I know plenty of other quiet people make friends. I feel so alone and rejected and hated. I just want more medication so that hopefully enough of it will make me so drowsy and woozy that I won't be able to think straight. I just don't understand it. It seems like other people have a really easy time making friends, even in new situations, but I haven't been able to make a single friend in my entire life. I don't know what to do, help?


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## Volant (Oct 5, 2013)

If you want a friend, be a friend (or so the old saying goes). Find somewhere you like to visit- whether it be the local library, a bakery, the city park, whatever- and strike up a conversation with somebody. You only live once, and you don't want to be on your deathbed, regretting every moment that you could have been spending talking with somebody and getting to know them. 

College is a great way to meet new people. Everybody's new, everybody's terrified of the big, wide world. But hey, as a college student myself, I've made a few peers/friends, and it's always nice to see someone smiling at you and saying hello.

I'll be your friend!


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## Blessedandhighlyfavored (Oct 27, 2013)

17 can be a tough age. You will grow out of it and have so many friends around you that you will reject some of them. When you have no one you always have Jesus. Read your Bible. God promises if you ask him he will give you a friend that is closer than a brother. See the wonderful thing about God is he supplies all your needs and whatever you didn't get as a kid he allows you to get all that love from him and be able to give it to yourself. Ask God to allow you to see yourself like He sees you. God made you for a divine purpose. He is the author and finisher of your life. He loves you so much that he has the hairs on your head numbered. What state do you live in? Let me recommend a good bible based church for you.. I use to feel just like you in hs. And now I realize that mind set was just a trick of the devil to get me distracted and kill myself but God had other plans for me and he has other plans for your life. Read psalm 91 in your Bible. God says you are the head and not the tail. He says you are above and not beneath. He says you are beautifully and wonderfully made because you are made in His image. You are PRICELESS grab ahold of that vision. Pray and ask God for a friend and watch him send you an outstanding one. Meditate on Mark 11:24. He sent me to you! Praise God! Be encouraged!!! God has you in the palm of His hand! Get off that medication and get in the bible and build a friendship with God. He is always your friend and now so am I!!!


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

@Volant: I know I should make a conversation with someone, but I'm really afraid to because when I used to do that people would tell me to shut up or go away. Almost everyone in school did that to me. I'm just so afraid  
@Blessedandhighlyfavored: I believe in God too, and thanks for trying to recommend me a church but I already go to a Catholic church and I like it there. I try to use God for guidance, but it's really hard because I don't hear God but I hear demons who communicate with me through my thoughts and tell me that I will go to hell no matter what I do. I try to use God to make the demons go away but it doesn't work. They stay there and I don't know why God would let them stay there. I just wish God would do something to show me that he cares about me as much as I care about him. And sorry but I can't quit my medication, I remember one night I forgot to take it and the next day was completely miserable and I couldn't even function.


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## Volant (Oct 5, 2013)

john.thomas said:


> @_Volant_: I know I should make a conversation with someone, but I'm really afraid to because when I used to do that people would tell me to shut up or go away. Almost everyone in school did that to me. I'm just so afraid


Why did people tell you to "shut up" or "go away?" Looking back at your situation, do you have any idea what reasons they could have had to say that? 

Also, on another note- do not ever be ashamed of having to take medication daily. I take pills for my inherited anxiety disorder, and I live a much more fulfilling life as a result. I don't want to go back to my old, paranoid self. God gave us the wisdom to be able to make medicines to help us feel better.


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## ElectricHead (Jun 3, 2011)

College is not high school. It's way better, as long as you live on campus. You can't be friends with everyone, but you'll find people who share your interests. People change in college. You'll find that the clique mentality isn't so prevalent, as everyone who goes to college really starts fresh. No one knows your reputation. You can transform yourself, and likely will naturally.

About the demon thing, I would talk to a doctor, a shrink about that. There is nothing wrong with talking to a professional and I'm not judging you. I will say that it's not normal, it's concerning, and I worry it will get worse if you can't figure out the root cause of why demons shout over God in your head. Don't blame the demons, or God, but realize that there is something you have to figure out within yourself to fix it, and you'll need help to do so. Don't listen to demons when they say you will go to Hell no matter what you do. You are aware of good actions and evil actions? Regardless of the evil entities in your head, if you believe in God, He won't let you suffer in hell for no good reason. Do you talk to your priest about this? Start with that if a psychologist is not an option.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

Find common interests. Do those things with others.


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## Blessedandhighlyfavored (Oct 27, 2013)

God is doing something to show you that he cares about you. Make no mistake about it. I just signed up with this site today and your post was the first one I went to out of the hundreds available. I broke my plans today to have this conversation with you which tells me that you matter to God and this conversation was suppose to happen. First off, if you have asked God into your heart and believe that prayer of salvation then hell is not and will never will be an option for you. So when the voices come and they will and yes, it is normal ..you cast them down. I John 4:4 amplified, "Little children, you are of God (you belong to him) and have (already) defeated and overcome them (the agents of the anti Christ) demonic voices..because He who lives in you is greater (mightier) than he who is in the world. Resist the devil and he will flee James4:7. How do you resist him? With your mouth! Open it and speak to him and too your situation. Say out loud, (with authority) satan I bind these demonic voices and thoughts and I loose only godly thoughts in Jesus name. I cast down every imagination and every high thing that exhausts itself against the knowledge of Christ. I hear the voice of God from now on and the voice of a stranger I will not follow. I am a Child of God and I have the mind of Christ! I declare and decree it IN Jesus name! No more voices just that simple... Be blessed.read john 3:16 and 1corinthians 2:14-16.


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

@Volant: I don't know why they did it, I was being severely bullied at the time and it seemed like after one kid started it the entire grade just joined in. It was terrible.
@Blessedandhighlyfavored: Wow, I didn't know that. I think this must have been supposed to happen too then. My only problem with doing the thing where I say out loud to cast the demons out (and I would if I could) is that my family would probably hear and think I'm crazy or something. They don't really understand the demons I hear. I could go somewhere away from the house though, and do that. I think I'll try that. Thanks
@rejectedreality: I've heard people say that before but it just doesn't seem true. At least to me it doesn't feel like it. I can't make friends anywhere, I don't see why college would be any different. I mean, I wasn't able to make friends even before high school, I'm not able to make friends now, so I don't see why I will be able to in the future.


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## ElectricHead (Jun 3, 2011)

john.thomas said:


> @_rejectedreality_: I've heard people say that before but it just doesn't seem true. At least to me it doesn't feel like it. I can't make friends anywhere, I don't see why college would be any different. I mean, I wasn't able to make friends even before high school, I'm not able to make friends now, so I don't see why I will be able to in the future.


I was giving you sound, friendly advice based on personal experience as well as the experiences of many others. You seem to expect some sun ray of enlightenment to wash over you and fix everything. Not going to happen. 

You say you've heard people say that before, which could mean they've experienced it. You say it's not true for you, yet you don't know because you "feel" like it won't be. Guess what, because you feel something doesn't make it true. You don't think I've been in similar shoes as you? "Why can't I make friends? Why does no one talk to me? Why do some say they don't like me when they don't even know me?" You have to love yourself to love others and you have to love yourself to be loved. No wonder your God doesn't answer you. You don't love God. You don't think about the awesomeness of the creation, you just assume the worst. 

In the first post you made, you asked for help because you said you didn't know what to do. Well, to answer your question, and to help, you have to change your shitty attitude. It's shit. It's whiny, it makes you sound like you're some victim when really it all starts with you. 
Forget about your magic demons and other nonsense. Quit making excuses and thinking it's always going to be bad for you. Doesn't your Jesus stuff teach you to have an open heart? Well, if your heart is only open for negativity, then you'll likely attract negativity. Assuming the worst will help to bring the worst, and it's laughably ironic. But with work, it can be irony for the good. Assume the best, think of the positive, and if something negative happens, breath and realize that you'll overcome, because you are a fighter and you deserve it. YOU have to make it happen. 

Join a meetup group. There is a website about it all. 

What kind of Demon thoughts do you have?


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## Blessedandhighlyfavored (Oct 27, 2013)

You can do it in the car...the important thing is to do it. always take God at his word, have faith. Without faith it is impossible to please God. and Pray daily because prayer works. The Bible says Joel 3:10 let the weak say I am strong. So you now have to say what you want. If you want a friend stop saying you don"t have any and start saying you have lots of friends and before long you will. If you want to go to college GO and have faith and believe that when you get there favorable people will be drawn to you. The bible says in Matthew 7:7 Ask and it shall be given to you: seek, and you shall find, knock and it shall be open to you. Open your Bible today and start in Proverbs you will be so blessed. *Whatever* you are believing God for go to Mark11:24 Therefore I say unto you, *what things* *so ever* ye (you) desire, when ye (you) pray , believe that ye (you) receive them, and ye (you) shall have them. Formula: pray to God and while you are praying believe = received. Pray to God and end each prayer, "in Jesus' name Amen. There is power in the name of Jesus!! Demons tremble at the name Jesus! You can call on him any day or night and he is always with you. Always!


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

rejectedreality said:


> I was giving you sound, friendly advice based on personal experience as well as the experiences of many others. You seem to expect some sun ray of enlightenment to wash over you and fix everything. Not going to happen.
> 
> You say you've heard people say that before, which could mean they've experienced it. You say it's not true for you, yet you don't know because you "feel" like it won't be. Guess what, because you feel something doesn't make it true. You don't think I've been in similar shoes as you? "Why can't I make friends? Why does no one talk to me? Why do some say they don't like me when they don't even know me?" You have to love yourself to love others and you have to love yourself to be loved. No wonder your God doesn't answer you. You don't love God. You don't think about the awesomeness of the creation, you just assume the worst.
> 
> ...


I know I'm negative, and I don't want to be, but I can't stop. I know all of this is probably my fault, but I'm not sure what I could have done differently. I was positive for so many years, and I tried for such a long time, but it didn't work. I don't understand why it never worked for me when it did for so many other people. 

And I can't really talk about what the demons say, it isn't really anything I want to tell anyone. I'll just tell you that they invade my mind a lot, and tell me terrible things. They also force involuntary thoughts that make me upset. I really just don't want to talk about what exactly it is that they tell me, I'm sorry. I will tell you though that until a few weeks ago I thought they were my own imagination, but I realized they weren't once they started to tell me things about themselves.

I also didn't mean to upset you, I don't want to be as negative as I am, I just am. I'm sorry.


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

Blessedandhighlyfavored said:


> You can do it in the car...the important thing is to do it. always take God at his word, have faith. Without faith it is impossible to please God. and Pray daily because prayer works. The Bible says Joel 3:10 let the weak say I am strong. So you now have to say what you want. If you want a friend stop saying you don"t have any and start saying you have lots of friends and before long you will. If you want to go to college GO and have faith and believe that when you get there favorable people will be drawn to you. The bible says in Matthew 7:7 Ask and it shall be given to you: seek, and you shall find, knock and it shall be open to you. Open your Bible today and start in Proverbs you will be so blessed. *Whatever* you are believing God for go to Mark11:24 Therefore I say unto you, *what things* *so ever* ye (you) desire, when ye (you) pray , believe that ye (you) receive them, and ye (you) shall have them. Formula: pray to God and while you are praying believe = received. Pray to God and end each prayer, "in Jesus' name Amen. There is power in the name of Jesus!! Demons tremble at the name Jesus! You can call on him any day or night and he is always with you. Always!


I'll try to believe more deeply when I am praying now, if it will help. I hope it will help, I don't want to be like this forever.


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## Blessedandhighlyfavored (Oct 27, 2013)

Hey reject reality, 
A wise man once said, if you are right and you are rude then you are wrong. No one reaches out to be beat down. If you are not willing to help- don't hinder. Don't attack his beliefs simply because you feel a certain way. He is entitled to his feelings even if you don't agree. Obviously he is struggling in this area.. How are your condescending remarks helping anything? Are you not bullying him right now? Would you liked to be kicked when you are down? We all can make a person feel like crap but why? This is not the forum for that foolishness. When you know better you do better.


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## Blessedandhighlyfavored (Oct 27, 2013)

rejectedreality said:


> College is not high school. It's way better, as long as you live on campus. You can't be friends with everyone, but you'll find people who share your interests. People change in college. You'll find that the clique mentality isn't so prevalent, as everyone who goes to college really starts fresh. No one knows your reputation. You can transform yourself, and likely will naturally.
> 
> About the demon thing, I would talk to a doctor, a shrink about that. There is nothing wrong with talking to a professional and I'm not judging you. I will say that it's not normal, it's concerning, and I worry it will get worse if you can't figure out the root cause of why demons shout over God in your head. Don't blame the demons, or God, but realize that there is something you have to figure out within yourself to fix it, and you'll need help to do so. Don't listen to demons when they say you will go to Hell no matter what you do. You are aware of good actions and evil actions? Regardless of the evil entities in your head, if you believe in God, He won't let you suffer in hell for no good reason. Do you talk to your priest about this? Start with that if a psychologist is not an option.


If you believe in God, you will not go to hell period!


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## ElectricHead (Jun 3, 2011)

john.thomas said:


> I know I'm negative, and I don't want to be, but I can't stop. I know all of this is probably my fault, but I'm not sure what I could have done differently. I was positive for so many years, and I tried for such a long time, but it didn't work. I don't understand why it never worked for me when it did for so many other people.
> 
> And I can't really talk about what the demons say, it isn't really anything I want to tell anyone. I'll just tell you that they invade my mind a lot, and tell me terrible things. They also force involuntary thoughts that make me upset. I really just don't want to talk about what exactly it is that they tell me, I'm sorry. I will tell you though that until a few weeks ago I thought they were my own imagination, but I realized they weren't once they started to tell me things about themselves.
> 
> I also didn't mean to upset you, I don't want to be as negative as I am, I just am. I'm sorry.


I'm not upset, I was just trying the tough love approach. I still stand by most of it but you seem to know it already. 
I was noticing some of your interests on your profile page. Those are all common interests and I think that if you went to college and took classes on any of that, you'd find people who share those interests and more opportunities could happen where you can become close to people. Remember to make yourself approachable and put your self in their shoes. Are you doing something that is deterring someone from talking to you? Such as a grumpy face, dismissive attitude, etc? 
I don't think you should not go to college unless you just don't want to go for other reasons. 
Usually the negativity stems from ideals or perfectionism that doesn't meet the standards. If this is the case, lower your standards for yourself and for others. 
Anytime you catch yourself have a negative thought, immediately try to think of a positive that can come from it. If you can't, think of anything, anything at all, that you see as positive, or makes you happy. Now try this more and more even when you aren't feeling negative. You have to condition yourself for this way of thinking, just like you unintentionally conditioned your mind to be negative.

Anyway, enough of my Dr. Phil advice. Feel free to chat with me on my page about your paranormal interests, as I find them...well... interesting. I also love animals, and plants are ok too.


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## ElectricHead (Jun 3, 2011)

Blessedandhighlyfavored said:


> Hey reject reality,
> A wise man once said, if you are right and you are rude then you are wrong. No one reaches out to be beat down. If you are not willing to help- don't hinder. Don't attack his beliefs simply because you feel a certain way. He is entitled to his feelings even if you don't agree. Obviously he is struggling in this area.. How are your condescending remarks helping anything? Are you not bullying him right now? Would you liked to be kicked when you are down? We all can make a person feel like crap but why? This is not the forum for that foolishness. When you know better you do better.


Hey, @_Blessedandhighlyfavored_ I was explaining some of his main problems to him because I've shared those problems and was using what worked for me. Sometimes you have to realize that you only have yourself to blame, and it's not something people like to hear so bluntly, but it's effective. If you question my compassion, how about realize I wouldn't even bother trying. If you want to mention someone, use the "@" symbol in front of the correct spelling of their profile name and it will send them an alert letting them know you are talking to them on a forum. Such as "Hey @_rejectedreality_ , blah blah blah". Just so you know. 

Also, I would expect a response like that from someone who considers themselves so HIGHLY FAVORED. That doesn't sound at all self-possessed. I didn't make a remark about your nonstop God stuff. 
Attack his beliefs? What? 
I see that John Thomas believes in God. I have different beliefs. But still I gave him advice based on his own beliefs in religion, as in talking to his priest or following the word of his saviors. Those aren't suggestions I would want for my self as the beliefs are not my own, so you can't acuse me of "attacking his beliefs because _ feel a certain way". In no way did I say he was wrong or that I think his beliefs are stupid. The "magical demons and other nonsense" mentioned was about deflecting his issues on outside sources (as opposed to blaming himself)._


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## Blessedandhighlyfavored (Oct 27, 2013)

Since when is tough love telling someone that they don't love their God? That is not love at all ..that is sheer gall with five cups of ignorance and a dash of foolishness. Shame on you!


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## Ecoas (Jul 28, 2013)

If you truly believe in and respect an all good creator, you should believe in and respect the methods that yield good results in the creation. In this creation, we are rewarded for action. It is true that the only way to make friends is to be a friend, and if you are going to employ faith, use it there, faith that you going out to look for people will be rewarded. And what have you got to lose?

The dominant society sucks though, look for the people that seem a little weird, they can probably empathize with you more.


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## ElectricHead (Jun 3, 2011)

Blessedandhighlyfavored said:


> Since when is tough love telling someone that they don't love their God? That is not love at all ..that is sheer gall with five cups of ignorance and a dash of foolishness. Shame on you!


How could someone who just sees negativity in themselves and others proclaim to love a God that is supposed to be about the light? Why are demons in his head? I am telling him that he needs to love God harder and actually listen to the messages you guys teach. 
You can tell me and him what to do in your own way, but I should be shamed for my method? I'm not. How about ignoring me from now on and let John make up his own mind. He probably will either benefit from us both or think we are useless, or somewhere in between.
Since you're so eager to give me advice, here is some for you. How about use your own mind instead of just copy and pasting from the bible. Like he can't do that himself. One more piece of advice, butt out, because nothing you say is going to make me think, "Oh, you're right! I am going to just completely change my ways now". Not from you anyway. John has the option to think of my advice in similar manner and it's not up to you to police it. Fuck off.


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

Please stop fighting, I don't want this to turn into a fight. 

I believe in what all of you say. I just don't know how to be positive anymore. I wish I did, but I just don't. That's why I'm on medications for depression, I just can't be positive. And I do love God, but I don't know how I can love myself. It's just so hard.


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## Blessedandhighlyfavored (Oct 27, 2013)

First of all please know that if there is one thing I excel in, it's writing and expressing myself. Seeing as this is not a paper for a class I am turning in, I don't have to use proper writing etiquette. Since my comment elicited a response from you without using the @ symbol, I would say it hit its target. Wouldn't you agree? That is rhetorical. As far as me being highly favored, you don't have to worry about my title because it is between me and God so you need not concern yourself. Concerning the "non stop God stuff" again as I stated to John earlier, it was meant for him and not you so I don't see why you would feel the need to comment on the subject at all. I am a lot of things but a punk is not one of them! You have me twisted if you think you are about to throw it to me, sweetheart (and clearly I use the term oh so loosely) not only will I catch it but I will throw it so hard your head will spin. The Bible says there is no reasoning with a fool so I will waste no more time on you. You are clearly meant as a distraction. Immediately the devil comes after the word ..no new tricks from satan however, a seed has been sown in John's life so my work here is done. From here on out, any meaningless drivel that you feel the need to impart will fall on deaf ears. We both know that I would have to cut my hips off to be on your level. At any rate, it is not important how you see me. It's about how God sees me and how I see myself. He sees me as not only highly favored but I am also the apple of His eye. Ask him, He will tell you...


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## Volant (Oct 5, 2013)

john.thomas said:


> Please stop fighting, I don't want this to turn into a fight.
> 
> I believe in what all of you say. I just don't know how to be positive anymore. I wish I did, but I just don't. That's why I'm on medications for depression, I just can't be positive. And I do love God, but I don't know how I can love myself. It's just so hard.


God accepts you for who you are. You don't have to try to impress God, because that's impossible. Expending energy on that is pretty useless, considering that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). God sees your broken, hurting spirit, and He knows every sparrow that falls from the tree, and since you are worth many sparrows, why should He not have His eye on you (Matthew 10:29-31)?

Try reading through Matthew 6:25-34, found here: Matthew 6:25-34 NIV - Do Not Worry - (so encouraging!)


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## Blessedandhighlyfavored (Oct 27, 2013)

Just look in the mirror and say I love you. Do it daily every time you go past it and before long it will be true. Tell yourself daily that you have friends, you are anointed, approved and equipped by God. That you are successful, that everything you touch prospers, you are a overcomer,you see yourself like God sees you, you were created for a purpose, you are blessed in the city and blessed in the field, blessed and highly favored also confess any other positive declarations. Not only will it be true but you and everyone else will see it manifests your life. When you go through the door, God will open it..have faith.


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## Blessedandhighlyfavored (Oct 27, 2013)

Go Volant! You got it!


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## Volant (Oct 5, 2013)

Blessedandhighlyfavored said:


> Go Volant! You got it!


Aw, thanks! Everyone's input is valuable.


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## daddyjordan22 (Aug 13, 2013)

john.thomas said:


> I just don't know how to be positive anymore. I wish I did, but I just don't. That's why I'm on medications for depression, I just can't be positive. And I do love God, but I don't know how I can love myself. It's just so hard.


There is so much to say here but I want to zone in one this particularly. If God of love can love even you, or I, we likewise can love ourselves and even others. Until we learn to accept ourselves as imperfect and others we make it impossible to love others meaningfully. One can't love and hate simultaneously, so the less we hate the more we can love. That starts within you. As for hard to be positive, love is the greatest positive force around. It is difficult to not be positive while loving I find.

I wish you the best. I know my teenage years were very confusing, difficult, and awkward in many ways. I felt lonely at times. I found the internet a great equalizer in that people seemed more eager for what one had to say than what one looked like; they didn't care if you were from a rich family, what house you lived in, or what kind of siblings or parents you had. They wanted to know about you, your ideas, interests, and likewise tell you of theirs. In many ways the internet can be a fantastic place to build friendships, work on your social skills, and grow as a person over all. I'm not saying it is a replacement for physically present friends, but they are still very real friendships. Perhaps you could connect with others here, or on some other site. I will say college is something you ought to consider for so many reasons social, and otherwise. Keep that door opened in your mind, please. Again, I wish you the best. Sometimes at our worst we fail to see the beauty of life. I hope and believe you will soon enough see that.


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## Apdenoatis (May 23, 2012)

@john.thomas I promise, promise, promise you that just because you haven't been able to make friends before doesn't mean you won't be able to in the future. I know this for a fact because I've met people like you, who haven't been able to make friends or have only been able to have a few superficial ones, but now they have all either finally found a friend or have found many friends. Either way, they've learned to be happy. That may not be you now, but the point is that it's not as if it can't be you. These people are all around your age, by the way.

So don't give up. Hang in there, keep being a good person, and keep your eye out for opportunities. Of course, taking the initiative to go out and look for people with similar interests as many others have already mentioned is sure to help speed up the process of finding some friends, but don't feel as if you're in a mad rush. Maybe church is a good place to start since you already attend one. If your church offers volunteering or charity opportunities where you can work with others, and you're into that kind of thing, perhaps you could sign up and meet some people that way. 

Also, as someone else mentioned, things are different in college - or at least, you'll be in a different environment. It's unfortunate, but sometimes there's very little you can do about your current social situation until you get out of where you are; in other words, it's not about you, it's about the people around you. A friend of mine went through child abuse and was frequently bullied at her old school; when she transferred to my district, she found a very supportive group of friends and I have never seen anyone openly tease her. With that in mind, it might be a good idea not to expect too much from the people around you in your current school. You may have to wait until college for a clean slate. But don't give up hope.

I'm sorry my writing is rather rushed, I'm really, really busy :/ I'm sorry you're having difficulties like this, and there's never a guarantee, but the least you can do is keep hoping. Try to keep things in perspective - it's a big world out there, and your school only has so many people. From what I can see, you're a very kind person, and I'm sure you'll find a friend out there someday. 

I have a packed schedule but if you need anything, drop me a message and I'll do my best. Cheers!


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## Night & Day (Jul 17, 2010)

@_john.thomas_ 

Hey John, first I'd like to ask, what brought you to this conclusion? 

Have you tried turning negatives into positives? Try renewing your mind, try changing your thought process, try changing your habits; if all they've done is cause you so much misery. Instead of thinking how you usually do, stop yourself and look at everything differently. 

You notice no one cares about you? Think about why first...try to come up with the problem, plus a solution to it, work it out. If you don't give anything to people, they in return give you nothing. Sometimes you have to push yourself a little and put yourself out there first. Greeting people, asking them how they are, sharing a little about yourself, goes a long way. Just be yourself and don't be afraid of what people think of you. Most of the time, it's just in your head and no one even thinks of you the way you do. Tell that little voice inside your head that criticizes you to shut up, and that you're worth a lot more. Give it a try, and see if you get different results.


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## Peter (Feb 27, 2010)

john.thomas said:


> To start off, I'm 17 and I've never had a friend, not one in my entire life. I tried to make friends from the time I was in kindergarten (so about 5 years old) until I was 16, then I gave up because it's obvious that no one wants to be my friend and it feels like no one even wants me around. I used to get bullied a lot in school too, and not even the school wanted to do anything about it. It's like no one cares about me. I notice all these other people my age, who have friends, go to parties, going to college, and becoming independent of their parents, but I'm not doing any of those things. It really bothers me because I feel like I'm being left out of all the things that teens usually experience. I have never had a friend, never been invited to a party (or even to anyone's house), I don't want to go to college (why the hell would I want to experience high school all over again? I'm sure college would just be another 4 years of misery and rejection), and I'm not independent of my parents at all. I don't know how to drive, I don't know how to do most things on my own, and I don't have a job (I'm incompetent and I doubt anyone would ever hire me).
> I just don't understand why no one wants me around. I don't act weird, I'm just quiet and I know plenty of other quiet people make friends. I feel so alone and rejected and hated. I just want more medication so that hopefully enough of it will make me so drowsy and woozy that I won't be able to think straight. I just don't understand it. It seems like other people have a really easy time making friends, even in new situations, but I haven't been able to make a single friend in my entire life. I don't know what to do, help?


I understand your situation. I've been there, though not as extreme as your situation. I just wanted to comment on your idea that college is highschool all over again..... Relax! It isn't. When you go to college you have chosen a direction, while in highschool everybody of all directions are together. In college you'll find most people have similar interests. Besides that: Highschool is a collection of adolescent idiots (including you) while in college that idiot fase has passed. Bullying like in highschool doesn't happen that much anymore. (Doesn't mean it doesn't happen at all, but in my experience, life after highschool is a hell of a lot better.) Your college days may be the best time of your life. (until you have experienced life after college, because that is even better (more money for example.)


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## Choice (May 19, 2012)

john.thomas said:


> Please stop fighting, I don't want this to turn into a fight.
> 
> I believe in what all of you say. I just don't know how to be positive anymore. I wish I did, but I just don't. That's why I'm on medications for depression, I just can't be positive. And I do love God, but I don't know how I can love myself. It's just so hard.


Thomas, where are your ideals?

Your best values?

Can you list them? And give some examples of how you've lived up to them in even the most miniscule ways? (e.g. if courage is one - getting out of bed when the very thought makes you anxious)

What made you succeed in those situations?

How can you build on those whatever tools or thoughts you used?

Maybe you've never liked yourself overall, but there must've been maybe flashes, seconds in which you felt good after having achieved something. Make those matter.
----------------------------


You said you have no friends - how do you define friend? e.g. someone to hang out with

If the kids at school weren't nice to you - who was? teachers? parents? anyone?

What stops you from feeling rejected? is it just the act of acquiring friends?

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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SlidingScaleOfIdealismVersusCynicism

If staying positive is really hard, how much easier in % approx is it to just go for neutral?


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## ElectricHead (Jun 3, 2011)

Blessedandhighlyfavored said:


> First of all please know that if there is one thing I excel in, it's writing and expressing myself. Seeing as this is not a paper for a class I am turning in, I don't have to use proper writing etiquette. *Since my comment elicited a response from you without using the @ symbol, I would say it hit its target. Wouldn't you agree? That is rhetorical. As far as me being highly favored, you don't have to worry about my title because it is between me and God so you need not concern yourself. Concerning the "non stop God stuff" again as I stated to John earlier, it was meant for him and not you so I don't see why you would feel the need to comment on the subject at all.* I am a lot of things but a punk is not one of them! You have me twisted if you think you are about to throw it to me, sweetheart (and clearly I use the term oh so loosely) not only will I catch it but I will throw it so hard your head will spin. The Bible says there is no reasoning with a fool so I will waste no more time on you. You are clearly meant as a distraction. Immediately the devil comes after the word ..no new tricks from satan however, a seed has been sown in John's life so my work here is done. From here on out, any meaningless drivel that you feel the need to impart will fall on deaf ears. We both know that I would have to cut my hips off to be on your level. At any rate, it is not important how you see me. It's about how God sees me and how I see myself. He sees me as not only highly favored but I am also the apple of His eye. Ask him, He will tell you...



Just so you know I wouldn't have said anything to you had you not decided to first attack me. I was giving you a taste of your own medicine. You expect one not to defend themselves? Also, the only reason I noticed you talking to me was because John quoted my previous comment and I just happened to see you addressing me while I was here. I wouldn't have noticed otherwise. I was only giving you a tip because I see that you are new. I wasn't being condescending nor was I attacking you for that, although I can see in your point of view how it would come off that way. 
Anyway, it's unfortunate that we started off on the wrong foot but since you said you're finished with this conversation, and the original poster wants us to stop fighting, I'll respectfully wish you a good day.


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## Kysinor (Mar 19, 2009)

I know exactly how that "feels" (or... erhm... I get the thought that I'm not that accepted in general by many people). You are not alone, I guess...


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

I've never felt accepted by others or by society but I stopped caring. I think it would be better for a lot of people if they stopped caring what others thought of them..


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## C3bBb (Oct 22, 2013)

isingthebodyelectric said:


> I've never felt accepted by others or by society but I stopped caring. I think it would be better for a lot of people if they stopped caring what others thought of them..


A lot easier said than done


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## Sparkling (Jul 12, 2013)

Do you suffer from social fobia or avoidant personality disorder?


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

Senshu_Ben_Gone said:


> A lot easier said than done


Absolutely. I guess it's something to take day by day. Some are better than others.


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## dvnj22 (Apr 24, 2013)

If society rejects you, then you should reject society.


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## StElmosDream (May 26, 2012)

dvnj22 said:


> If society rejects you, then you should reject society.


Sounds a bit like SteppenWolf or Kafka's Metamorphosis territory right there ;-)


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## dvnj22 (Apr 24, 2013)

StElmosDream said:


> Sounds a bit like SteppenWolf or *Kafka's Metamorphosis *territory right there ;-)


one of my favorite stories right there.


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