# If you could give life lessons to those younger than you what would you tell them?



## Voldemort (Aug 24, 2011)

I love hearing people talk about what they have learned through their life experiences and I thought it'd be cool to make a thread about what you would tell those who are younger than you and going through a stage of life that you've already been through. I'm about to be 23 and this is what I'd tell people that are younger than me:

1. Being a grown up isnt as glamorous as you think. Stay young forever!

2. Turning 18 doesn't mean much except that now you are much more likely to go to prison if you screw up.

3. If you get picked on in middle school or high school, don't worry it definately gets better. Your brain is still developing and even between the ages of 18-23 you develop a more solid perspective and better coping skills.

4. Don't spend tens of thousands of dollars going to some fancy college thinking that its a magical place where you will "find yourself". College is a great resource, but its still just school. 

5. Book smarts are not everything. The most important things I've learned have nothing to do with academics (and thats coming from someone who spent her entire life being a booksmart nerd). I wish someone would've reminded me that academics were only one aspect of succeeding.

6. Believe in yourself as much as you can. All those cool people that look like they know what they're doing are just winging it. So believe in yourself and wing it too. You'll regret the things you don't attempt.

If I think of anymore I'll post them. I'm also interested hearing what those older than me would tell my age group. :happy:


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## Super Awesome (Jul 11, 2011)

What would I tell them? NOTHING. Kids know everything.


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## Voldemort (Aug 24, 2011)

Lexie said:


> What would I tell them? NOTHING. Kids know everything.


hardy har har. :tongue:

but seriously, if you could tell them one thing even?


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## Super Awesome (Jul 11, 2011)

Voldemort said:


> hardy har har. :tongue:
> 
> but seriously, if you could tell them one thing even?




Okay, seriously? I think I'd tell them to relax, it gets better. And that life is what YOU make it.


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## Black Rabbit (Apr 15, 2010)

I would tell them life isn't fair and it never will be. Life is a game of chance so live courageously and hope for the best outcome.


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## Hardstyler (Sep 4, 2010)

Ok well I may be young still (18) But I've been a independent minor since (16) few things I would like to say to (14-17) who have trouble at home or problems in general
1. Don't Do drugs guys and gals... It only prevents you from getting really great jobs 
2. Don't drink till you pass out. If you can drink in moderation. or don't even drink at all.
3. NEVER EVER GET INTO A CAR WITH A PERSON UNDER THE INFLUENCE! I THINK THIS IS COMMON SENSE.
4. Get good grades. If your stuggling in school ask for help...
5. If your having trouble at home talk to a friend, stay over at a friends house or just express yourself though writting or art.
6. Stay in-shape.eat healthy. Also alot of High Schoolers don't drink enough water.
7. Don't stay behind the computer talking to friends go out and hang around town with them or as I like to call it "Mobbin"
8. Girls don't go after those tools and asshole of dudes all there going to do is break your heart.
9. Guys don't be "That GUY" stated above.
10. Express yourself.Motivate yourself. Be Yourself. Once you Move into the real world your all alone.
11. LASTLY DON'T EVER EVER GET CAUGHT DOING ANYTHING ILLEGAL.


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

I would say:

#1) Remember your roots- your past affects your present as well as your future. Appreciate where you started from, and never take it for granted. 

2) Remember to give back what was given to you.

3) What is practical today, may not be as practical tomorrow.

4) Follow your heart; utilize your talent; embrace; move _forward._

5) Passion is the driving force for life. Knowing yourself and your values are important for guiding you along your major life decisions.

6) Love your loved ones like there is tomorrow, because when tomorrow comes they may not be here. That's reality. Respect/Appreciate.

7) Honor your elders (despite if you disagree). Nobody's perfect, and older people (including me) do not have all the answers, but honour those before you, because their being here throughout life's ups/downs is enough in and of itself.

8) Listen to what feels right- not conventional wisdom. Find your own truth and what makes sense to you, because your truth today may also change tomorrow. We're all on our own path, journey- listen to your heart, with positive intentions you will create the dreams you have always dreamt of. 

9) Whatever it is, strive to do and be your best, because life is PRECIOUS.


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## Modifier (Aug 17, 2011)

be yourself and be confident about it


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## streetsweeper (Jun 14, 2011)

Hardstyler said:


> 11. LASTLY DON'T EVER EVER GET CAUGHT DOING ANYTHING ILLEGAL.


*noted for future reference* roud:


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

Grow up already.


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## Danielsearch (May 27, 2011)

I wanted to start a thread about this same thing.

I hate when people in their thirties or forties scoff at me or laugh when I say something naive about life. They shake their heads and act like I won't understand until I experience stuff.

And I definitely agree that experience teaches well. I'm not 18. I'm 23. I'm still young, but I'm not an idiot. I've finished college. I've spent a year travelling and working in community service. I've met a lot of people and learned a lot about myself. Every year I learn more and more about myself. 

But what the fuck is it that you all think I don't know? What are the life lessons that I don't have? You act like there is a check list or something. 

Speak up. I'm all ears. I challenge everyone older than me to try to teach me something.


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## ALNF1031 (Jul 27, 2011)

Danielsearch said:


> I wanted to start a thread about this same thing.
> 
> I hate when people in their thirties or forties scoff at me or laugh when I say something naive about life. They shake their heads and act like I won't understand until I experience stuff.
> 
> ...


Yeah, especially when the only reason they think they know more than me, is that they're older than me. So what.


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## Donkey D Kong (Feb 14, 2011)

Life lesson - You have 2 routes you can take in life.

• Not becoming a hermit and only occasionally browsing the internet and not being forever alone. (Recommended for ESxP's)

• Becoming a hermit (like myself) and browsing the internet every day and becoming forever alone. (Recommended for INTx's)

(Yes, I realize you're not supposed to use "and" more than once in a sentence, it was structured that way on purpose.)


Also, I'd tell them to watch Fight Club. However, I do this anyway.


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## Ziwosa (Sep 25, 2010)

- There are no rules or guidelines for life .
- Have fun, loads of it.
- Your life is yours, do anything you want with it.
- Screw rules or guidelines, including the ones mentioned above.


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## Monty (Jul 12, 2011)

i would tell them to not get too sucked into the crowd and believe in what they want to believe in, no matter what


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## chill.take.over (Apr 26, 2011)

The people you pick on today are the billionaires, supermodels, and serial killers of tomorrow.

If you want to change the world, change yourself and work your way out.

Nothing beats good old fashion experience.


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## chill.take.over (Apr 26, 2011)

Danielsearch said:


> I wanted to start a thread about this same thing.
> 
> I hate when people in their thirties or forties scoff at me or laugh when I say something naive about life. They shake their heads and act like I won't understand until I experience stuff.
> 
> ...


you know what's really annoying? when those clowns aren't even that much older than you, but they act as if they are light years ahead.

When I was younger there was this cousin I hung around a lot, because his parents had to work like mine we would stay at our grandma's house until they picked us up, and we were close in age so it was talk to each other or listen to the stories on tv.

Both born the same year but he was born in May, and me in December so he started school earlier than me, and I tell ya he thought he was really sooo much smarter than me because he was one grade up. I HATED THAT, makes me mad just thinking about it. 

Just because someone is in a higher grade level doesn't mean they're smarter. Yes they may know more in certain areas, but that doesn't automatically mean anything. He made me sick with that, like he had something to prove, or thought that made him better or something.


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## ALNF1031 (Jul 27, 2011)

chill.take.over said:


> you know what's really annoying? when those clowns aren't even that much older than you, but they act as if they are light years ahead.
> 
> When I was younger there was this cousin I hung around a lot, because his parents had to work like mine we would stay at our grandma's house until they picked us up, and we were close in age so it was talk to each other or listen to the stories on tv.
> 
> ...


So, he didn't even skip a grade or something, he merely started school earlier? That's... quite idiotic.


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## chill.take.over (Apr 26, 2011)

Alddous1031 said:


> So, he didn't even skip a grade or something, he merely started school earlier? That's... quite idiotic.


 Yep, isn't it though?
In the school system around here if you were born after a certain time in October, then you have to wait until next year, which was why I couldn't start the same time. 

In terms of school alone, we were both pretty smart, he made A's and B's and so did I. Don't want to toot my own horn but I really do think I have way better sense than he does, even at that age.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

1. *Authority is an illusion.* Don't be afraid to challenge authority when necessary. Nobody owns you. Parents, teachers, even the police, are not gods. Even if it means being punished, stand up for what is right and act according to what is fair in every situation. If you don't, you will start to think of yourself as a coward who lacks integrity, and even if it is something seemingly minor, you will always regret it. When you are middle-aged, you will still have thoughts like, "I shouldn't have taken off my hat just because my eighth grade history teacher demanded it. I had a right to wear it, because I own my body, but I was too scared of getting in trouble to tell him to fuck off. I wish I could go back in time so I would have another chance to stand up to him," but you won't be able to go back. The people who wronged you will continue wronging others. You only have one chance to get things right, and if you get in trouble for it, understand that it doesn't make you a bad person. You never signed up to follow someone else's rules. Be true to your own. 

2. *Don't stay someplace where you are being harmed.* This relates to the first one. If you are in an abusive environment, regardless of any laws, rules, obligations or expectations, it is vital that you leave it. Unless you are locked in a cage, you can. It may be the most difficult thing you will ever do, but your future sanity depends on it.

3. *We affect each other.* When adults tell you that words can't hurt people, they are full of shit. It is an idea that persists from an era when victim-blaming was even more common than it is now, where sensitivity was considered a flaw. If someone is being verbally abusive to you, and if it hurts you, understand that there is nothing wrong with your feelings. They are working properly. You are entitled to feel. Other people have no right to harm you.

4.* Being popular isn't worth sacrificing your individuality.* You might think it would be nice not to have to deal with being bullied on a regular basis, but if you have to pretend you are someone else, any praise or relief you receive for it will be meaningless. You won't feel accepted. You will only feel inauthentic. 

5. *Grades are worthless.* Don't strain to the point of having stress headaches, rewriting every essay six times, being a crazy perfectionist, scrambling for those straight A's. Learn what interests you, for the love of knowledge. Teach yourself the things you care about, and ignore other people's structure and control. It's all busywork, and most of the things you learn in school are neither meaningful nor true. If you are learning as much as you can independently while the other children are filling out pointless worksheets, practicing to become good little office drones someday, you will have an advantage, regardless of what your report card says about you. 

6. * Live out of context.* Question everything for yourself, as an individual, rather than as a person shaped by your culture. Ask yourself, "Would I still feel this way about this if I had grown up in different circumstances, where I was exposed to different influences?" and test all of your values until you are certain of who you are. Process all new information this way, and reevaluate your previous assumptions, until you know what is truly important. If you disagree with something that is popularly believed, do it boldly, and be willing to openly assert the things you care about.


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## KeepSmilingDarling (Sep 15, 2011)

*Enjoy it while it lasts.* Be it a friendship, winning streak in soccer, or a lollipop, enjoy it and don't take it for granite. Nothing lasts forever.

*If it makes you happy, do it.* Now, I'm not encouraging anyone to go on a killing spree and claim they did it because it made them happy (if that kind of stuff does make you happy, perhaps it's time to seek professional help). But if you're a guy and dressing like a girl makes you happy, then dress like a girl, darn it! Who cares if you get laughed at? It brings you joy and that's all that matters.

*Don't steal the cookie out of the cookie jar.* Years later, when you have forgotten about your innocent crime (paradox, much?), they'll begin writing songs about it and accusing naive children on the show Barney. Don't. Do. It.

*If you're having problems with anything, talk to someone about it and don't bottle it up.* Keeping secrets is bad, though there are very few exceptions.


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## pericles (Apr 16, 2011)

Waiting for life to get better is like gambling, only you pay with time instead of coins. You think: "After graduation" , "when the summer will come" "after I get that promotion" "after that bad event pass" my life will be better/I'll find fullfilment. Truth is nothing good is waiting for us, and so you'd better take control now. Peace comes from within.


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## wandai (Feb 8, 2011)

Don't bother choosing a major in college just because of the availability of jobs after graduation. And don't do post-graduate study if you are not sure doing it.


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## TheCuttlefish (Sep 8, 2011)

Lulz, little kids wouldn't understand this but...
Sameness isn't a good thing. That's the delusion that teenagers are under. Don't make the same mistake; explore inside and out. Find out who you really are.


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## teddy564339 (Jun 23, 2010)

I think what's fascinating about a thread like this is that it shows you how everyone has their own experiences, their own things they learn in life, and their own rightful path in life. 

This is the example that stands out most to me. 

I strongly agree with these three that @snail posted:



snail said:


> 2. *Don't stay someplace where you are being harmed.* This relates to the first one. If you are in an abusive environment, regardless of any laws, rules, obligations or expectations, it is vital that you leave it. Unless you are locked in a cage, you can. It may be the most difficult thing you will ever do, but your future sanity depends on it.
> 
> 3. *We affect each other.* When adults tell you that words can't hurt people, they are full of shit. It is an idea that persists from an era when victim-blaming was even more common than it is now, where sensitivity was considered a flaw. If someone is being verbally abusive to you, and if it hurts you, understand that there is nothing wrong with your feelings. They are working properly. You are entitled to feel. Other people have no right to harm you.
> 
> 4.* Being popular isn't worth sacrificing your individuality.* You might think it would be nice not to have to deal with being bullied on a regular basis, but if you have to pretend you are someone else, any praise or relief you receive for it will be meaningless. You won't feel accepted. You will only feel inauthentic.



I halfway agree and halfway disagree with this one:



snail said:


> 6. * Live out of context.* Question everything for yourself, as an individual, rather than as a person shaped by your culture. Ask yourself, "Would I still feel this way about this if I had grown up in different circumstances, where I was exposed to different influences?" and test all of your values until you are certain of who you are. Process all new information this way, and reevaluate your previous assumptions, until you know what is truly important. If you disagree with something that is popularly believed, do it boldly, and be willing to openly assert the things you care about.



And strongly disagree with these two:



snail said:


> 1. *Authority is an illusion.* Don't be afraid to challenge authority when necessary. Nobody owns you. Parents, teachers, even the police, are not gods. Even if it means being punished, stand up for what is right and act according to what is fair in every situation. If you don't, you will start to think of yourself as a coward who lacks integrity, and even if it is something seemingly minor, you will always regret it. When you are middle-aged, you will still have thoughts like, "I shouldn't have taken off my hat just because my eighth grade history teacher demanded it. I had a right to wear it, because I own my body, but I was too scared of getting in trouble to tell him to fuck off. I wish I could go back in time so I would have another chance to stand up to him," but you won't be able to go back. The people who wronged you will continue wronging others. You only have one chance to get things right, and if you get in trouble for it, understand that it doesn't make you a bad person. You never signed up to follow someone else's rules. Be true to your own.
> 
> 5. *Grades are worthless.* Don't strain to the point of having stress headaches, rewriting every essay six times, being a crazy perfectionist, scrambling for those straight A's. Learn what interests you, for the love of knowledge. Teach yourself the things you care about, and ignore other people's structure and control. It's all busywork, and most of the things you learn in school are neither meaningful nor true. If you are learning as much as you can independently while the other children are filling out pointless worksheets, practicing to become good little office drones someday, you will have an advantage, regardless of what your report card says about you.



And I think that's based on my own past, my own present, and how I feel my past has influenced my present. Of course, I see some of these as being a result of MBTI type, and maybe even the Enneagram as well. 



So while I don't really have any advice to younger people, I think the one line that comes to mind is from that silly Baz Luhrman song:

"Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who dispense it."


The idea being that...everyone's advice has some merit, so you should consider what you hear from someone before making up your mind and blowing them off. However, at the same time, you should always weigh it yourself and not believe someone else without thinking about it yourself.


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## MCRTS (Jul 4, 2011)

snail said:


> 2. *Don't stay someplace where you are being harmed.* This relates to the first one. If you are in an abusive environment, regardless of any laws, rules, obligations or expectations, it is vital that you leave it. Unless you are locked in a cage, you can. It may be the most difficult thing you will ever do, but your future sanity depends on it.
> 
> 3. *We affect each other.* When adults tell you that words can't hurt people, they are full of shit. It is an idea that persists from an era when victim-blaming was even more common than it is now, where sensitivity was considered a flaw. If someone is being verbally abusive to you, and if it hurts you, understand that there is nothing wrong with your feelings. They are working properly. You are entitled to feel. Other people have no right to harm you.
> 
> 4.* Being popular isn't worth sacrificing your individuality.* You might think it would be nice not to have to deal with being bullied on a regular basis, but if you have to pretend you are someone else, any praise or relief you receive for it will be meaningless. You won't feel accepted. You will only feel inauthentic.


I agree with all of these. 



> 5. *Grades are worthless.* Don't strain to the point of having stress headaches, rewriting every essay six times, being a crazy perfectionist, scrambling for those straight A's. Learn what interests you, for the love of knowledge. Teach yourself the things you care about, and ignore other people's structure and control. It's all busywork, and most of the things you learn in school are neither meaningful nor true. If you are learning as much as you can independently while the other children are filling out pointless worksheets, practicing to become good little office drones someday, you will have an advantage, regardless of what your report card says about you.


I half-agree with this. I think that grades are important, but I do wish schools would let us study what we want, instead of forcing us to study what they deem important. I wasn't good at math. But when I got to tertiary level and I was able to do subjects like sociology, journalism and so on, I found that I was good at them. 



> 6. *Live out of context.* Question everything for yourself, as an individual, rather than as a person shaped by your culture. Ask yourself, "Would I still feel this way about this if I had grown up in different circumstances, where I was exposed to different influences?" and test all of your values until you are certain of who you are. Process all new information this way, and reevaluate your previous assumptions, until you know what is truly important. If you disagree with something that is popularly believed, do it boldly, and be willing to openly assert the things you care about.


I agree with this one. Sometimes, I look at other people in another country, and I do reflect on what I would have become if I were living in their context. Would my core values be different, or would I stay the same as I am now?


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## timeless (Mar 20, 2010)

If you pee in the sink, you don't have to waste time flushing.


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## funcoolname (Sep 17, 2011)

Chicago Tribune's Mary Schmich wrote this "commencement" advice column, and it has some of the best things I wish I remembered more often. It was also made into a sort of musical number by Baz Luhrman, I'll put it at the bottom 

*Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it
The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.
Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded.
But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.

You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future.
Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts.
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy.
Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind.
The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults.
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life.
The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives.
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. 

Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body.
Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it.
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance - even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions., even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.

Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. 

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths:
Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.*


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