# Can thinkers be sensitive and feelers be cold?



## Lady D (Mar 17, 2013)

Nowadays I especially despise unhealthy manipulating XNFJ's, unhealthy XSFJ's coming second. NFJ's are the coldest people on earth for they can manipulate anything and anyone to suit their desires. When they get their way and use their victim they refuse to see anything morally wrong concerning their ways, showing all blame on their victims.

I've had three NFJ's abusing me so I've had enough with their kind. Nowadays I'd rather stick to cold hearted S's for "what you see is what you get". Unhealthy NFJ's have this ugly tendency to look for cues that are not even there. I'm pretty transparent myself and I'm sort of masculine in this. I say exactly what I mean. I know I'm not the best person on this earth and I'm not trying to convince anyone I am.

When communicating with these unhealthy NFJ's they love to claim how I do double talk, express verbally one thing and say another that can be read of me somehow as "I know you are a racist/psycho/sadist/narcissistic/evil" because they "see this in me" and probably smell it coming from my rotten soul or something. Ugh. Then stuff they "see" is something they do themselves and just mirror it. I don't know if I am able to verbalise this as my inferior Fe strikes here. I'm just so done with these wanna be psychics.

Even unhealthy SFJ's are slightly better at this for they are more transparent, down-to-earth and able to see their own flaws as well no matter how unhealthy they are. I get now how unhealthy ENFJ's lure people to commit mass suicides.

This concerns only unhealthy people of this type so you others, more healthy NFJ's please don't take offence of these words. I've just had a very bad share of these people. Feel free to call on my bs if feel to do so but I just wanted to rant. I also know it takes two to tango so I was also involved in these relations. I've also been quite unhealthy myself so...but just wanted to share my experiences. Thanks!


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## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

A _sensitive_ Thinker ..(?) 

IMPOSSIBLALABLE.


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## peter pettishrooms (Apr 20, 2015)

Maybe it's because I hang around a lot of unstable INFP's, but in my experience they seem to be the coldest out of other feeling types. It's not uncommon for them to have a cynical, twisted sense of humor and give off this aura that drives people away from them (much like Morrissey). They're not very smiley and cheerful if you don't know them on a deeper level. On the surface they can look like INTJ's.


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## Glenda Gnome Starr (May 12, 2011)

This is true. When I try to act cold, people ask me if I ate something that disagreed with me, lol.



The Lawyer said:


> I've seen some Fe dom and aux types deliberately exhibiting unpleasant cold behaviors while they were moping.
> 
> Fi dom and aux types are unlikely to act cold, they're usually either warm, or relaxed kind of chill, or friendly but distanced.


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## Prada (Sep 10, 2015)

Being cold or caring is behaviour not cognition. MBTI is about how your brain works not what you do. Sure, the way you act mirrors the way you think but so it does with nurture, good/bad experience, people around you etc. In other words, there is no reason why feelers shouldn't be cold or thinkers sensitive.


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## Doc Dangerstein (Mar 8, 2013)

... there comes a time @_Lady D_ when all this INFJ/ENFJ shaming no longer matters. I have an ENFJ mom who’s the nicest, sweetest thing but when she’s having one of her moods she’ll take in all the injustices of the world, find some far-fetched illogical/absurd argument to make everything look like the world is conspiring against her and have a way to point the finger and hold you accountable. Note: me ENFP, frustrated at her lack of concrete logic and her willful ignorance of facts and actual possibilities.

She was a political activist in her youth and still has a habit of rubbing her righteousness in people’s faces. Unbearable. What’s ironic is how she feels you’re shaming her just because you want her to STFU. It only becomes stressful when this unhealthy sensitivity comes to dominate culture.

... pfft, Morissey is a joke! No respect for that guy. The dude is faker than an inflatable’s orgasm, can’t sing in tune, can’t keep time and his career is that of a professional whine-bag. Yeah, NFs are uber cold sometimes. I have no problem being mean when I don’t like somebody, be it an individual or a group.

I always had an opposite problem. People think I’m kind and cheerful when I’m bloody serious and laying down the hammer of Thor. Maybe that’s why I’m always asked to deal with the customers everyone wants to kill at work. My coldness seems warm and my warmness feels cold until after the fact. If I’m taking the time to think about you, your problems in an objective manner it shows that I’m ready to invest in you as a person and need to concentrate. I could always flash my superficial smile and tell people they’re awesome and amazing and be thinking duplicitous thoughts because I really can’t be bothered to grant them an ounce of sincere attention.

... now if I like you, different story. If you start playing with my feelings you might get some cold water poured on your head though.


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## A Temperamental Flutist (Nov 14, 2015)

In my experience, INFPs can be very cold if you get the Fi door slam. ENTJs can be sensitive about the people they lead and ESTPs can be sensitive to criticism.


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## Handsome Jack (May 31, 2015)

A Temperamental Flutist said:


> In my experience, INFPs can be very cold if you get the Fi door slam. ENTJs can be sensitive about the people they lead and ESTPs can be sensitive to criticism.


Same experience.

To add, I thought my ENTP father was an ENFJ for the longest time. He's an extremely sensitive ... troll.

My INFP ex seemed cold and detached at times but it was because she was able to navigate emotions more skillfully than me and exercise better control.

ENTJs can be sensitive about the people they love, lead, or are responsible for. It's a guardian instinct.


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## Lady D (Mar 17, 2013)

Spastic Origami said:


> ... there comes a time @_Lady D_ when all this INFJ/ENFJ shaming no longer matters. I have an ENFJ mom who’s the nicest, sweetest thing but *when she’s having one of her moods she’ll take in all the injustices of the world, find some far-fetched illogical/absurd argument to make everything look like the world is conspiring against her* and have a way to point the finger and hold you accountable. Note: me ENFP, frustrated at her lack of concrete logic and her willful ignorance of facts and actual possibilities.
> 
> She was a political activist in her youth and still has a habit of rubbing her righteousness in people’s faces. Unbearable. What’s ironic is how she feels you’re shaming her just because you want her to STFU. It only becomes stressful when this unhealthy sensitivity comes to dominate culture.


This ex-friend of mine called this sabotage. "You are trying to sabotage me" she said if we were both home (we were roommates) and she was heading to the toilet to see I was already there and she had to wait. She could make the most minor thing no one even noticed some conspiracy against her. 

What's funny is that I've noticed my ISTP father to have an element in his behavior related to this. He likes to blame me the world for failed opportunities. If the winter's snowy, stormy and he can't go jogging/walking outside he just whines of the weather and the toll it takes on his physical condition. So, whereas this ENFJ I knew blamed people, he blames the circumstances. 

Both could just take another approach and attitude to things, to see that the people or the world are not trying to sabotage them. I you can't go jogging, you could go swimming. If a person is really sabotaging you, find better people and see what happens. Did a change occur? If not, then what's wrong?


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## Elaihr (Jun 24, 2015)

Absolutely, the INTJs I know are among the most sensitive people I know, with my father probably being the most sensitive. My ESFJ mother is superficially warm but makes the most evil comments, and isn't anywhere near as sentimental.


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## Elaihr (Jun 24, 2015)

Lady D said:


> Nowadays I especially despise unhealthy manipulating XNFJ's, unhealthy XSFJ's coming second. NFJ's are the coldest people on earth for they can manipulate anything and anyone to suit their desires. When they get their way and use their victim they refuse to see anything morally wrong concerning their ways, showing all blame on their victims.
> 
> I've had three NFJ's abusing me so I've had enough with their kind. Nowadays I'd rather stick to cold hearted S's for "what you see is what you get". Unhealthy NFJ's have this ugly tendency to look for cues that are not even there. I'm pretty transparent myself and I'm sort of masculine in this. I say exactly what I mean. I know I'm not the best person on this earth and I'm not trying to convince anyone I am.
> 
> ...


It's okay, you probably have a point, I know a few xNFJs who have been unhealthy and just urgh... The good thing about it is that now I have seen what it might be like if I became unstable. Needless to say I spend a lot of time trying to avoid it :frustrating:


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## Lady D (Mar 17, 2013)

@Elaihr Luckily we're all traumatizing when unhealthy so no type really stands out there. You don't even now how much pain I've caused people in my unhealthy states


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## Worriedfunction (Jun 2, 2011)

Sure.

*Inserts long self-indulgent rambling post that ultimately comes to the same conclusion as the monosyllabic answer above*


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## karmachameleon (Nov 1, 2015)

yes


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## Reiyn Isa (Dec 9, 2015)

Sure.I mean,were all humans after all.
Your type doesn't have anything to do with being "sensitive" or "cold"


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## starwars (Sep 5, 2014)

lunareclipzee said:


> I was just wondering.. I'm really sensitive and easy hurt. But all my tests come close to 50/50 for T/F. Is there such thing as a very sensitive thinker? and can feelers be cold?


I say yes.
It of course matter the environment you grew up in, especially your family(those who live with) you can adapt to others personalities. Also, it is normal for people to developed and mature. We are all thinkers and feelers, just different levels and different views of life(fe vs fi). I, INTP have been stuck living with ESFJ, even though sometimes we want to strangle each other, she has helped me developed my Fe and Si. 
I personally find it irritating when a feeler tries to be "logical", and lecture me about why my (more sensitive) idea is the worse choice. I am trying to help someone, not get my own gain. can you please look at the outcomes a bit more?(sorry bout the rant)


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

acidicwithpanic said:


> Maybe it's because I hang around a lot of unstable INFP's, but in my experience they seem to be the coldest out of other feeling types. It's not uncommon for them to have a cynical, twisted sense of humor and give off this aura that drives people away from them (much like Morrissey). They're not very smiley and cheerful if you don't know them on a deeper level. On the surface they can look like INTJ's.


Aha this is me and my sister lol (she's an INFP and I'm an INTJ.) 

She usually is the one to start a conversation with me these days (or take something I said and turn it into a conversation, where normally I'd assume I'm just pointing something out and it'll end there). But she just as abruptly will end it and go onto something else (usually something on her smartphone). Then for a second I'll be thinking "hey, we were just having a conversation, that YOU made more interesting...wtf?... I am that boring to you?... eh. whatever I guess we're done now" *leaves room* :laughing:

Actually come to think of it, it's probably just the way I deal with Ne auxes. I expect INTP's not to have superior listening skills to me though, lol.


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## Rabid Seahorse (Mar 10, 2015)

In some regards, yes. Feeling types more in-tune and in control of their emotions and those others. They can manipulate them in a really "cold" way. FJ's can be socially manipulative and FP's can be very selfish. I've known a _lot_ of Feeling types who do things I would never be okay with. Things like seeing someone "on the low" while dating someone, or breaking up with someone and getting in a new relationship right away and being able to rationalize it.

Thinking types are clumsier with it and are more sensitive. In my experience, TJ's are very sensitive about how they come off socially because, having very low Fe, are often unaware of "how to act". TP's are very sensitive about being morally judged (very low Fi) and can take minor character judgments more seriously than they should.


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## JacksonHeights (Nov 6, 2015)

When I'm in an ST environment I turn very cold and unfriendly since I'm trying to fit in. Which is why I try not to hang out with ST types much, my creativity and passion really comes alive when Im talking with other Feelers. For some reason I get drawn a lot more to other Feeling types as opposed to INTJs and ENTJs like most ENFPs


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