# How can I overcome fear of talking to girls?



## Suchi i Frutta (Feb 14, 2015)

I 've this annoying fear because I'm shy. Recently I've done small stepa to vanquish this fear,but still I'm paralyzed by the anxiety. I have no idea how to start a conversation and create a deeper relationship. Can anyone give me advice,please?


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## SilverFlames (Oct 22, 2015)

I'm assuming it's no different than talking to boys, but I do have some experience with flirting with girls from when I was younger. If you're afraid of just going for it without a plan, my advice would be to start a conversation asking about something that you have in common. Examples: "Hey so how did u do on that french class?" or "Are you going to the party on Saturday?". Then just go from there, because the biggest step is opening communication between the two of you. Just be yourself and have fun with it. If something goes wrong, learn from the experience and don't give up!


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

bloodpony said:


> I 've this annoying fear because I'm shy. Recently I've done small stepa to vanquish this fear,but still I'm paralyzed by the anxiety. I have no idea how to start a conversation and create a deeper relationship. Can anyone give me advice,please?


*Here is how: *you are going to die. Its inevitable. Maybe tomorrow a car hits you or you die with a pile of regrets age 112 in your bed alone. In either case it makes sense to ask a girl out, if for nothing else, then death looming at every corner. Live now, while you can.

Its simple, you take a step, breath in deep, breath out slowly and you do it even if your stomach feels like the Hulk is strangling it with both hands. It takes guts, courage and you can pat yourself on the back for doing it and not being a coward even if she rejects you.

I know that in that moment your nervous system feels haywire and you can't rub 2 neurons together to produce coherent thoughts, but you need to push yourself through this over and over till you get relatively used to it. 

There will be rejections, just pick yourself up and try again. Be your own freaking hero. Y*ou already lost if you never try and you never lose the war if you never give up.*

*The above works for many things in the life of a INFP.*

From one 29 year old EII INFP to another INFP. Trust in my life experience.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Pretend they are guys and talk to them the same way.


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

Here's how I do it:

First of all, I talk to the ones with the lowest standards. Like Marianas Trench-low standards. I figure they're the ones willing to give me a chance, and not either 1) just not respond to me, or 2) respond to me but be very mean about it. 

In real life, I wait until there is actually a reason for me to start the conversation. Either when I notice something interesting or something we have in common. Online, I usually just say "hey" and they will start talking to me. 

Also, if you're really bad at conversations (like I am) and incapable of anything other than small talk, it's very unlikely intelligent women will like you. Every intelligent woman I have gotten to know has complained about my small talk at one point or another, most of them actually stop talking to me because of it. They think I'm boring. I've only met one intelligent woman (although she has Aspergers, like me) who can stand to talk to me for long periods of time.

And don't be afraid of attractive women. For some reason in my experience it's the less attractive women who have higher standards, and the more attractive women are nicer and willing to date an awful person like me. I have no clue why that is. I have a theory, but I don't know how valid it might be.

_Note: I really hope I didn't offend anyone with this post, I didn't mean to, these have just been my experiences and observations. _


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## kiwig0ld (Nov 7, 2010)

bloodpony said:


> I 've this annoying fear because I'm shy. Recently I've done small stepa to vanquish this fear,but still I'm paralyzed by the anxiety.



* *











you're welcome.

_I don't have shit to say for the second part though..._


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## Toru Okada (May 10, 2011)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> Pretend they are guys and talk to them the same way except do not call them "*******".


fixed


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## Fumetsu (Oct 7, 2015)

You ould try just seeing them as other human beings rather than some foriegn alien race maybe?


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## Apple Pine (Nov 27, 2014)

There is only one thing you can do. lol. Start trying to do that online, see how it goes. You will fail a lot, it will probably be awkward, but that's the only way to succeed.
"Getting ready for it" is not efficient. You'll never feel ready, if you don't try. lol

Just what I think.


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## Swede (Apr 2, 2013)

bloodpony said:


> I 've this annoying fear because I'm shy. Recently I've done small stepa to vanquish this fear,but still I'm paralyzed by the anxiety. I have no idea how to start a conversation and create a deeper relationship. Can anyone give me advice,please?


I'd say that you just need to practice. Are you scared of talking with all women or just women you age or women you are trying to get to know better?
What are you scared of? Is it based on fear of your own behavior or their response? What is the worst that can happen?


I think that it would help if you keep in mind that are not a different species. We have fears and flaws like other human beings. 
Also, if you fear getting rejected by women, realize that men reject each other too - all individuals are not open to expanding their social network, so a rejection does not have to be a reflection of you or of them, but rather poor timing, etc.


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## 66393 (Oct 17, 2013)

Start by honing in on the type of girls you are going to talk to. I'd start with girls involved in activities that are similar to your own. It's much easier to talk about your interests and share those experiences with others who can truly appreciate them. Once you start building a little confidence, you can perfecting your silver tongue. After some practice you'll be intriguing woman with small-talk like you're spinning flax into gold (or bowstring if you're in Runescape).


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## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

bloodpony said:


> I 've this annoying fear because I'm shy. Recently I've done small stepa to vanquish this fear,but still I'm paralyzed by the anxiety. I have no idea how to start a conversation and create a deeper relationship. Can anyone give me advice,please?


Do you have anxiety starting conversations with everyone or just starting with girls?


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## Rhonda Rousey (Sep 22, 2015)

Just do it! Even if you look nervous, girls love honesty.


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## Suchi i Frutta (Feb 14, 2015)

Swede said:


> I'd say that you just need to practice. Are you scared of talking with all women or just women you age or women you are trying to get to know better?
> What are you scared of? Is it based on fear of your own behavior or their response? What is the worst that can happen?
> 
> 
> ...


I'm scared to talk with stranger women of my age. I think that it is caused by my own behavior and their response. I don't fear rejection,on the other hand.


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## Swede (Apr 2, 2013)

bloodpony said:


> I'm scared to talk with stranger women of my age. I think that it is caused by my own behavior and their response. I don't fear rejection,on the other hand.


So, maybe a silly suggestion, but would it be possible to talk with women who are not in your age group and then gradually move closer and closer to your own age?

Or are there any clubs that you can join where people talk naturally as a part of the activity? 
Here in the US, we have "speed dating". Maybe try something like that, just to practice talking?

I think that the more you practice, the easier it will get.


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## Suchi i Frutta (Feb 14, 2015)

Swede said:


> So, maybe a silly suggestions, but would it be possible to talk with women who are not in your age group and then gradually move closer and closer to your own age?
> 
> Or are there any clubs that you can join where people talk naturally as a part of the activity?
> Here in the US, we have "speed dating". Maybe try something like that, just to practice talking?
> ...


What do you mean with "clubs where people talk naturally as a part of the activity"?


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## Swede (Apr 2, 2013)

bloodpony said:


> What do you mean with "clubs where people talk naturally as a part of the activity"?


For example debate teams, drama clubs, theater/movie clubs,book reading clubs, travel societies, cooking classes, etc. 

The best way is of course to find something that you really like, since that way you do something that you enjoy while getting the added benefit of socializing. 
So if you don't get practice talking with women, at least you have gotten enjoyment out of the club anyway. 
And if you do get a chance to talk with women, you will likely be more relaxed since you are doing something that you enjoy and since you know that you already have something in common. 

What do you like doing? Do you think that you can find a club or society in connection to what you like? And if you think that a club like that does exist, is there a pretty good chance that the club members will consist of both men and women?


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## xisnotx (Mar 20, 2014)

When you first go to jail, you find the biggest baddest dude there, you go up to him, and you punch him in the mouth.

Same with women. Just go up to the most beautiful girl you can find, and punch her in the mouth.

Or, you know, just say something off. Then once you do it again, and again, the fear of rejection will leave you, for you have failed and lived through it. Then, just go about your business, saying hey to girls when the opportune moment presents itself..and soon enough, theyll be all over you.

For example, I once went up to a girl and tried to buy her sex, with a penny, just to amuse myself.


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## Suchi i Frutta (Feb 14, 2015)

Swede said:


> For example debate teams, drama clubs, theater/movie clubs,book reading clubs, travel societies, cooking classes, etc.
> 
> The best way is of course to find something that you really like, since that way you do something that you enjoy while getting the added benefit of socializing.
> So if you don't get practice talking with women, at least you have gotten enjoyment out of the club anyway.
> ...


I don't know if there is any club nearby. I'll ask for information. Anyway,today I was able to say few phrases to a random girl. It can be a little victory,I suppose.


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## Swede (Apr 2, 2013)

bloodpony said:


> I don't know if there is any club nearby. I'll ask for information. Anyway,today I was able to say few phrases to a random girl. It can be a little victory,I suppose.


Yes, absolutely! One step at the time. Next time will be easier, so you are on the right track!


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## NomadLeviathan (Jun 21, 2015)

Nevermind.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

bloodpony said:


> I 've this annoying fear because I'm shy. Recently I've done small stepa to vanquish this fear,but still I'm paralyzed by the anxiety. I have no idea how to start a conversation and create a deeper relationship. Can anyone give me advice,please?


By realizing you have nothing to lose. If you talk to a girl and she shuts you down, you're no worse off than if you if you didn't. You're going to have to keep at this for a while. You can spend your life being alone worrying what could have been, or you can take a shot and see what happens. What's it going to be?


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Koheleth said:


> Nevermind.


​The name of an album by Nirvana, right?


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## NomadLeviathan (Jun 21, 2015)

tanstaafl28 said:


> ​The name of an album by Nirvana, right?


I wouldn't know; I've heard _Teen Spirit_, but know nothing of them aside.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Koheleth said:


> I wouldn't know; I've heard _Teen Spirit_, but know nothing of them aside.


It is. I was making a joke. It eases tension.


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## NomadLeviathan (Jun 21, 2015)

tanstaafl28 said:


> It is. I was making a joke. It eases tension.


I understood.

I don't know why I gave it a legit reply.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Koheleth said:


> I understood.
> 
> I don't know why I gave it a legit reply.


You felt a need to be authentic at that moment?


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## NomadLeviathan (Jun 21, 2015)

tanstaafl28 said:


> You felt a need to be authentic at that moment?


That makes sense. Too many heartfelt pms being sent between readings of Neruda's _100 Love Sonnets_.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Koheleth said:


> That makes sense. Too many heartfelt pms being sent between readings of Neruda's _100 Love Sonnets_.


Ohhh! I've read him. He's very good! 

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”


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## Doktorin Zylinder (May 10, 2015)

Just go speak to girls. I don't see why gender has a bearing on your ability to converse with someone.


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## Hidden from Sight (Jan 3, 2014)

As nearly everyone else has said, _jus b urself _.


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## Caveman Dreams (Nov 3, 2015)

bloodpony said:


> I 've this annoying fear because I'm shy. Recently I've done small stepa to vanquish this fear,but still I'm paralyzed by the anxiety. I have no idea how to start a conversation and create a deeper relationship. Can anyone give me advice,please?


Accept rejection as part of the process. 

Just try comolimenting girls first then try and hold a longer and longer conversation.


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## Suchi i Frutta (Feb 14, 2015)

I've almost overcome this fear. I became friend with two girls,but I'm horrible to small talk. Stupid and meaningless small talk. XD


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## General Lee Awesome (Sep 28, 2014)

bloodpony said:


> I've almost overcome this fear. I became friend with two girls,but I'm horrible to small talk. Stupid and meaningless small talk. XD


well, if you cant have small talk, then try something else to talk about. talking about their interest is a good way to keep things going. people all love to talk about themselves. ask for their opinion, and listen carefully ofc


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## Fumetsu (Oct 7, 2015)

Small talk isn't a requirement of being friends with anyone. "But..but.. womeeeen!" Yes, I get it, there is a reason they're called "Hens" in large groups.

Aaaaanyway

All my friends do is prattle on about shit I find incredibly insignificant. So I avoid those conversations.

I prefer actions to words anyway. Most of the time they don't mean much at all.


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## Inveniet (Aug 21, 2009)

Face your negative emotions and the subpar defence mechanisms they spawn.
It will free up energy to be able to interact with girls more.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defence_mechanisms


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## piano (May 21, 2015)

JTHearts said:


> Here's how I do it:
> 
> First of all, I talk to the ones with the lowest standards. Like Marianas Trench-low standards. I figure they're the ones willing to give me a chance, and not either 1) just not respond to me, or 2) respond to me but be very mean about it.


RIP the best troll this site has ever seen


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## yet another intj (Feb 10, 2013)

bloodpony said:


> I have no idea how to start a conversation and create a deeper relationship.


Because you can't. There's no conversation to create a deeper relationship on purpose. Learn how to honestly have a conversation free from sexual tension and expectations. A person who can simply share his thoughts/feelings about whatever common interest with another human being eventually have a relationship. Not someone who constantly say "hi" to a particular interest group like defusing a bomb or investing in stocks. Girls are just human beings and they are not socializing to only breed. Stop wasting time with ridiculous evolutionary oversimplifications like they are breathing, drinking, eating, talking, etc to choose the best partner. Life is bigger than sex and people are way more complicated. You are not Hugh Grant and none of them is Julia Roberts.


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## Suchi i Frutta (Feb 14, 2015)

yet another intj said:


> Because you can't. There's no conversation to create a deeper relationship on purpose. Learn how to honestly have a conversation free from sexual tension and expectations. A person who can simply share his thoughts/feelings about whatever common interest with another human being eventually have a relationship. Not someone who constantly say "hi" to a particular interest group like defusing a bomb or investing in stocks. Girls are just human beings and they are not socializing to only breed. Stop wasting time with ridiculous evolutionary oversimplifications like they are breathing, drinking, eating, talking, etc to choose the best partner. Life is bigger than sex and people are way more complicated. You are not Hugh Grant and none of them is Julia Roberts.


Hugh Grant? What the... Anyway, I think that you are right. But what do you mean with evolutionary oversimplifications?


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## Kurt Wagner (Aug 2, 2014)

FreeBeer said:


> *Here is how: *you are going to die. Its inevitable. Maybe tomorrow a car hits you or you die with a pile of regrets age 112 in your bed alone. In either case it makes sense to ask a girl out, if for nothing else, then death looming at every corner. Live now, while you can.


Or you can live 100 years. Imagine just much time you have. Relax and ease up. Open your big eyes wide and listen to everything she has to say, bitches humans love that.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

bloodpony said:


> I think that I'm not accustomed to stay with girls. In addition,I don't have idea how to entertain a conversation with a girl.Because of this,I'm scared to interact with one of them. Heaven forbid that the things should be easy for once! The awkwardness incarnate! XD


Maybe this sounds pessimistic compared to what others have said on the thread, but if you can't hold a conversation with someone then maybe that person isn't worth trying to be friends with in the first place. If you don't have enough in common to talk about, what's the point? 

At the same time, if you don't have a problem carrying on a conversation and making male friends, then really it should be more or less the same with making female friends. Awkward silence is still awkward regardless of gender. What do you usually talk about with friends?


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## Suchi i Frutta (Feb 14, 2015)

ninjahitsawall said:


> Maybe this sounds pessimistic compared to what others have said on the thread, but if you can't hold a conversation with someone then maybe that person isn't worth trying to be friends with in the first place. If you don't have enough in common to talk about, what's the point?
> 
> At the same time, if you don't have a problem carrying on a conversation and making male friends, then really it should be more or less the same with making female friends. Awkward silence is still awkward regardless of gender. What do you usually talk about with friends?


With my friends I talk about videogames,animes,RPGs and similar(and nerdy) things.


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## Mair (Feb 17, 2014)

Girls are human like you man. They're not superior to you in any way. Why would you be afraid of them?


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

bloodpony said:


> With my friends I talk about videogames,animes,RPGs and similar(and nerdy) things.





Mair said:


> Girls are human like you man. They're not superior to you in any way. Why would you be afraid of them?


Yeah I agree. I think you can find girls to talk to who are interested in "nerdy" things. 

I don't know about you but as an introvert I usually find it easier to talk to extroverts (as long as they aren't the ones who are pushy and try to make you more like them, but I had that problem more when I was a kid). I think if you and someone else are both too introverted, you end up both kinda having too much of an impenetrable wall between you to make progress. :laughing:


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## Suchi i Frutta (Feb 14, 2015)

ninjahitsawall said:


> Yeah I agree. I think you can find girls to talk to who are interested in "nerdy" things.
> 
> I don't know about you but as an introvert I usually find it easier to talk to extroverts (as long as they aren't the ones who are pushy and try to make you more like them, but I had that problem more when I was a kid). I think if you and someone else are both too introverted, you end up both kinda having too much of an impenetrable wall between you to make progress. :laughing:


I don't know about USA,but I live in (the degrading) Italy where to find a girl who is interested in "nerdy" things is really difficult like the proverbial needle in the haystack.
About the "relationship between introverts and extrovertes" thing,it depends on the individual. There are nice extroverts and bad intoverts and vice versa.


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## Peter (Feb 27, 2010)

bloodpony said:


> I 've this annoying fear because I'm shy. Recently I've done small stepa to vanquish this fear,but still I'm paralyzed by the anxiety. I have no idea how to start a conversation and create a deeper relationship. Can anyone give me advice,please?


Why would it be different from talking to a guy? Do you ever talk to a guy without having something to talk about? Think about it. You´re so focused on talking with her, that you forget to first have something to talk about.

And you can practice talking to girls in the supermarket. The girls that work at the checkout counter have to be nice to the customers. Just a 3 line conversation about one of the products. If you make a fool of yourself,.... you really won't. She's not allowed to make you feel stupid so she'll be nice. If necessary, don't start in the supermarket you always go to. (And don't feel special when they´re nice to you,... they´re just doing their job.)


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## FlaviaGemina (May 3, 2012)

bloodpony said:


> I've almost overcome this fear. I became friend with two girls,but I'm horrible to small talk. Stupid and meaningless small talk. XD


Find girls who are not into small talk.
Could it be that you choose ditzy girls? The whole "how can I talk to girls" thing makes me think you might.
While I agree that girls are technically just people, there still are plenty of girls around who actually _do_ want to be seen as a different species. 
Maybe try to find some girls that you actually have something in common with rather than just talking to anyone who happens to be female?


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## FlaviaGemina (May 3, 2012)

bloodpony said:


> I don't know about USA,but I live in (the degrading) Italy where to find a girl who is interested in "nerdy" things is really difficult like the proverbial needle in the haystack.
> About the "relationship between introverts and extrovertes" thing,it depends on the individual. There are nice extroverts and bad intoverts and vice versa.


You know what? There are probably lots of nerdy girls who think it's very hard to find a nerdy guy.
Just keep your eyes open. Go to some nerdy places like board games clubs or even museums/ art galleries and libraries.

Are you a student?


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## Suchi i Frutta (Feb 14, 2015)

FlaviaGemina said:


> You know what? There are probably lots of nerdy girls who think it's very hard to find a nerdy guy.
> Just keep your eyes open. Go to some nerdy places like board games clubs or even museums/ art galleries and libraries.
> 
> Are you a student?


Yes,I'm a student of the University of History of Cosenza(an evil place!XD)


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## FlaviaGemina (May 3, 2012)

bloodpony said:


> Yes,I'm a student of the University of History of Cosenza(an evil place!XD)


There should be a few nerdy girls at university. Have you not come across any yet?


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## Suchi i Frutta (Feb 14, 2015)

FlaviaGemina said:


> There should be a few nerdy girls at university. Have you not come across any yet?


Nope. For now.


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## Orelli (Nov 29, 2014)

I don't necessarily agree with everything you say however; I do agree with a great deal. Finding a girl with low standards it pretty much showing what you think of yourself. To me its this person is desperate enough to date anyone. Just think of how many people that person has been with, the diseases they may carry and how easy they must be. That is not deep meaningful relationship material. Women are people to; treat them as if they are human, not meat. I do agree with find something in common with them; it will make things much easier. Attractive women are people to though. The funny thing is when dealing with one remember; pretty much everyone is afraid to talk with them. Also, this may seem odd to you however, look into the fashion they wear; this will tell you whether they are stuck up and high maintenance or down to earth and willing to speak with you. If you want to have an idea of what I'm speaking of check out this website. I was in sales for several years and learned how to profile a person and it has alway's been pretty much accurate.Top 10: Ways To Tell A Woman By Her Shoes - AskMen


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

Shit, it might just be an actual practice thing. Lucky thing is, it is a fun thing to practice. 

It isn't a slog like learning how to do math.

Instead of doing equations, you get to talk to bitches.


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## Suchi i Frutta (Feb 14, 2015)

Orelli said:


> I don't necessarily agree with everything you say however; I do agree with a great deal. Finding a girl with low standards it pretty much showing what you think of yourself. To me its this person is desperate enough to date anyone. Just think of how many people that person has been with, the diseases they may carry and how easy they must be. That is not deep meaningful relationship material. Women are people to; treat them as if they are human, not meat. I do agree with find something in common with them; it will make things much easier. Attractive women are people to though. The funny thing is when dealing with one remember; pretty much everyone is afraid to talk with them. Also, this may seem odd to you however, look into the fashion they wear; this will tell you whether they are stuck up and high maintenance or down to earth and willing to speak with you. If you want to have an idea of what I'm speaking of check out this website. I was in sales for several years and learned how to profile a person and it has alway's been pretty much accurate.Top 10: Ways To Tell A Woman By Her Shoes - AskMen


I'm not a person that treat women as meat(I hate the people that do so). I'm not a desperate pervert that drools at every woman that see. Really,it seems that some of you misunderstood my statement. Anyway,I don't know if it is possible to tell a woman by her shoes but... thanks for the adivice.


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

Same way I overcame my fear of talking to men......

Oh wait, I haven't. :crying:


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## Suchi i Frutta (Feb 14, 2015)

Children Of The Bad Revolution said:


> Same way I overcame my fear of talking to men......
> 
> Oh wait, I haven't. :crying:


AH-AH!Very funny...


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## Orelli (Nov 29, 2014)

Peter said:


> Why would it be different from talking to a guy? Do you ever talk to a guy without having something to talk about? Think about it. You´re so focused on talking with her, that you forget to first have something to talk about.
> 
> And you can practice talking to girls in the supermarket. The girls that work at the checkout counter have to be nice to the customers. Just a 3 line conversation about one of the products. If you make a fool of yourself,.... you really won't. She's not allowed to make you feel stupid so she'll be nice. If necessary, don't start in the supermarket you always go to. (And don't feel special when they´re nice to you,... they´re just doing their job.)





bloodpony said:


> I'm not a person that treat women as meat(I hate the people that do so). I'm not a desperate pervert that drools at every woman that see. Really,it seems that some of you misunderstood my statement. Anyway,I don't know if it is possible to tell a woman by her shoes but... thanks for the adivice.


Hello,
I apologize for my post; it was not all intended for you. When I commented I attempted to reply to a comment someone had left in regards to lowering standards; I did not agree with it. I am still new here and replied however; I did not reply with quote. I guess that that's why it is not attached to the comment and was posted directly to the thread. I was attempting to reply to the quote posted by JTHearts on page 1 of this thread. He/she had mentioned lowering standards. The dictionary describes lowering standards as something easy to get, something undesirable, low and cheap etc. You should never need to lower yourself. I am introverted to and know how difficult this is speaking with people. I'm an ISTJ personality and small talk is not my thing; you wont find me at a supermarket making small talk with someone. I can't really remember exactly why I was explaining the shoe theory however; I believe it was in regards to finding the right type of person for a long meaningful relationship in which I think you stated you were looking for. What was intended for you was is after I stated the funny thing is... I was in sales for about 15 years and had a very difficult time understanding people and what they are thinking and what would fit their needs. I learned how to profile people and micro expressions. As a car sales person it was much harder. Clients in order to not be followed by sales people would dress down and drive crappy cars onto the lot so sales people would not harass them. The one thing people did not change was their shoes. The shoes a person wheres match their personality. Do you want a high maintenance woman or someone whom is down to earth? The link I shared will describe this theory and what to look for. There have been studies that have proven this theory and have proved to be about 97% accurate. As an ISTJ female I look for people to be blunt and to the point. What is the worst that can happen, they so no. I know this is much easier said than done. I hope this helps.


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## getreal (Dec 29, 2015)

during college, my boyfriend had a very shy friend. he would talk to me just to practice talking to girls. then he talked to a girl he knew from class and they eventually married.


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## General Lee Awesome (Sep 28, 2014)

getreal said:


> during college, my boyfriend had a very shy friend. he would talk to me just to practice talking to girls. then he talked to a girl he knew from class and they eventually married.


awww


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## Suchi i Frutta (Feb 14, 2015)

Orelli said:


> Hello,
> I apologize for my post; it was not all intended for you. When I commented I attempted to reply to a comment someone had left in regards to lowering standards; I did not agree with it. I am still new here and replied however; I did not reply with quote. I guess that that's why it is not attached to the comment and was posted directly to the thread. I was attempting to reply to the quote posted by JTHearts on page 1 of this thread. He/she had mentioned lowering standards. The dictionary describes lowering standards as something easy to get, something undesirable, low and cheap etc. You should never need to lower yourself. I am introverted to and know how difficult this is speaking with people. I'm an ISTJ personality and small talk is not my thing; you wont find me at a supermarket making small talk with someone. I can't really remember exactly why I was explaining the shoe theory however; I believe it was in regards to finding the right type of person for a long meaningful relationship in which I think you stated you were looking for. What was intended for you was is after I stated the funny thing is... I was in sales for about 15 years and had a very difficult time understanding people and what they are thinking and what would fit their needs. I learned how to profile people and micro expressions. As a car sales person it was much harder. Clients in order to not be followed by sales people would dress down and drive crappy cars onto the lot so sales people would not harass them. The one thing people did not change was their shoes. The shoes a person wheres match their personality. Do you want a high maintenance woman or someone whom is down to earth? The link I shared will describe this theory and what to look for. There have been studies that have proven this theory and have proved to be about 97% accurate. As an ISTJ female I look for people to be blunt and to the point. What is the worst that can happen, they so no. I know this is much easier said than done. I hope this helps.


Don't worry. I wasn't angry with you. Anyway,I think that I'm less afraid of girls now. And if you say that the "the shoe thing" has proved about the 97% accurate,then it's worth trying. XD



getreal said:


> during college, my boyfriend had a very shy friend. he would talk to me just to practice talking to girls. then he talked to a girl he knew from class and they eventually married.


It seems a fable with an happy ending. :laughing:


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

bloodpony said:


> AH-AH!Very funny...


Yes...funny...

:crying::tongue:


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## Suchi i Frutta (Feb 14, 2015)

Children Of The Bad Revolution said:


> Yes...funny...
> 
> :crying::tongue:


I was sarcastic in that comment...


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