# General Opinion of INTJ's from Other Types



## Tkae (Oct 15, 2009)

Liminality said:


> Another somewhat negative point - for people who arn't good with empathy, some emotional elaboration can be _good_, and can stop future problems regarding said emotions when they feel very strongly about something. But noooo, I'm supposed to take epic action after a bunch of very mixed signals all beacause they hate showing people their vulnerable side. And then stop taking action when they decide to keep them strongly inside once again? Or do they want me to do this? Or this? Or possibly this?
> 
> Not helped when they've an INFJ twin who _really_ understands them and gets pissed with anyone hurting them, or disregarding their emotional issues, no offence but I don't have your level of people skills, and I don't live with your twin 24/7, sorry if I'm a little_ slow on the uptake_.
> 
> Some help would be nice -_-.


Someone needs to start putting some F in their cereal every morning :tongue:


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## knght990 (Jul 28, 2009)

NastyCat said:


> However...
> -They give off annoying mixed signals
> -They lose their directness at important times (on an emotional level), which makes things a bit difficult at times
> -They ask you questions, but would not give you an answer if asked them the same question (why is that?)


They don't know they give off mixed signals.
Loss of the directness is indicative of being unsure.
They asked you a question because they couldn't answer it themselves and are polling for an answer that fits.


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## NastyCat (Sep 20, 2009)

knght990 said:


> They don't know they give off mixed signals.
> Loss of the directness is indicative of being unsure.
> They asked you a question because they couldn't answer it themselves and are polling for an answer that fits.


Let me clarify that the questions are the personal ones... so... of course they can give an answer if they expect you to answer the same question!


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## knght990 (Jul 28, 2009)

NastyCat said:


> Let me clarify that the questions are the personal ones... so... of course they can give an answer if they expect you to answer the same question!


They asked the question of you because they couldn't answer it about themselves. By hearing your answer they will learn something and may or may not be able to answer the question now. Trust me when i say you don't want an INTJ to explain why they can't answer the question.


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## On the road to Damascus (Oct 1, 2009)

knght990 said:


> They asked the question of you because they couldn't answer it about themselves. By hearing your answer they will learn something and may or may not be able to answer the question now. Trust me when i say you don't want an INTJ to explain why they can't answer the question.


I was in a relationship with an ISTJ and we would debate things for hours...not discuss things but debate them. He would always question every opinion I had but not offer many of his own. When I asked him why he did this (beacuse it got a bit frustrating after a while) he said he did it to learn things...I then questioned him what I was learning and he didn't answer...

There were a million and one things that I thought were fabulous about him (too many to mention) but communication was very challenging. He always said I was 15 steps ahead of him...


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## shoeless (Nov 11, 2009)

my take on INTJ's:

there's a distinct difference between mature and immature INTJ's. the former can be very interesting and insightful individuals; my (current) best friend is a lady INTJ, and we have some very interesting conversations -- i relate to her a lot better than i do most of my other friends. however, i also know an INTJ guy who i was close to dating for a while who falls into the latter category. basically, he's one of those "i know everything just because i do and i use facts that i make up to back up all my opinions" kind of guys -- you know what i'm talking about. stubborn, arrogant... generally annoying.

overall, i'm cool with INTJ's. it's more of an individual thing for me. as it really should be; i don't judge by type alone, because that would be silly.


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## Singularity (Sep 22, 2009)

shoeless said:


> my take on INTJ's:
> 
> there's a distinct difference between mature and immature INTJ's. the former can be very interesting and insightful individuals; my (current) best friend is a lady INTJ, and we have some very interesting conversations -- i relate to her a lot better than i do most of my other friends. however, i also know an INTJ guy who i was close to dating for a while who falls into the latter category. basically, he's one of those "i know everything just because i do and i use facts that i make up to back up all my opinions" kind of guys -- you know what i'm talking about. stubborn, arrogant... generally annoying.
> 
> overall, i'm cool with INTJ's. it's more of an individual thing for me. as it really should be; i don't judge by type alone, because that would be silly.


I was really obnoxious like that when I was younger. :frustrating:


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## shoeless (Nov 11, 2009)

hence the whole "immaturity" thing.

we're all douchebags when we're young. just as long as you grow out of it, it's cool.


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## Cookie Monster (Nov 6, 2009)

I usually test INTJ, but I am a very close INFJ so hopefully I can offer some insight. 

I will be honest in that I do not know a lot of other INTJs, but the ones I do know, they are all different in their own ways. I agree with what someone had said...there are individual differences within each personality type.

The best example would be my ex. He was a pretty strong INTJ...too much for me. The good qualities was that he always had something interesting to say, good sense of humor, and very smart. The bad side was that he was not much of a romantic, and he never wanted to do different things. His dad, also an INTJ, was definitely the stereotypical smart, but arrogant INTJ. He basically quit his job teaching at a university that offered him tenure because he felt it was not "good enough" for him.


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## parallel (Aug 18, 2009)

I haven't had any bad experiences with INTJ's and they're very precise. Like Ventricity, I enjoy how they understand my humor.


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## Tkae (Oct 15, 2009)

I think maybe I've come to realize that INTJ are like drinking hot sauce.

Ya know?

At first you're all like, "Hot damn! This shit's good!"

Then as you keep drinking it starts to burn your tongue a little, but you keep drinking just 'cause it was good before.

Then you stop drinking because it's not good anymore, but your mouth is still burning and you're starting to get pissy.

Then you just start screaming because your mouth feels the heat swelling and searing the flesh and burning off the nerve endings in your mouth, and you're just royally pissed off and snap at every little thing around you 'cause your nerves are on edge.

Then after that you just cry.

Or at least that's how it works for me


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## Persephone (Nov 14, 2009)

Irulan said:


> I really like all of the INTJs that I have had serious conversations with here on PC. They all seem to have some serious issues though. lol... (I mean that in an endearing manner as I quite like the ones I've spoken with.)
> They listen to me, they talk to me, and they understand me better than most other types. I love to talk to them, and I love when they feel comfortable talking to me.
> Most of them seem to have some issues with their emotions though. They either seem to have none and seem to be heartless to those who do, or they don't know how to control them. There are a couple on here who seem very well-balanced, but I haven't had a serious conversation with them so I'm not sure.
> You mentioned INTPs. I _think_ that I generally prefer their company, but I could be wrong. I think it may be just because my J function is intense and I feel as if people with a P function help relieve me of some of the stress. INTJs understand me better though, so I'm not sure.


Well, I have to be quite honest with you, sometimes I'm afraid of my emotions. I'm extremely wary of losing control of them, and I try not to get too close to anyone whose intentions are unclear because I don't want any of them to have any sort of power over me. The only time a romantic relationship forced me to confront those issues, it turned my worldview upside down; I had to choose the wrong person to devote my Fi to. Big mistake. In the end, it stopped being about him, but about my lack of control over my emotions when it came to him. I'm over it now. It took quite a long time. Two long, horrible months. I'm gone and I've burned that bridge, once I decided that his memory is a hindrance to me. -is proud of self- :happy:


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## knght990 (Jul 28, 2009)

TKae

You do realize you are throwing fuel on the fire right?
Disparaging INTJs will decrease the likelihood of you endearing yourself.
I'm curious, are you trying to justify your opinion by setting up the fail? 
Is it a test to see if we measure up to some ideal of sensitivity?
What is the motivation behind your particular antagonism?

Though this is the right thread to express your opinion and thats fine, but i am curious about you in particular on these points.


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## Riccin (Aug 20, 2009)

I love INTJs.

LOVE LOVE LOVE them.

relationship wise they tend to be the only type i date (a INTP may slip in there once in a while).

I love how easy they are to talk to. They are amazing at taking criticism , and they tend to really listen to what i have to say instead of just listening for ways to argue with me. It's all about learning, so if i have anything i can teach them, even if it's difficult, they want to hear it. 

They never get emotionally involved in a debate. When the debate it over, thats it, no hurt feeling. What better way to push your logic to max, and test your belief systems?

I love the way they are constantly searching for potential in people. They push me, and have high expectations.

I love the way they admit it when i catch them in the act....... 

I tend to be able to bring out a emotional side of INTJ's that many other personality types cant. I love being appreciated for that. 

They respect my alone time, and that's invaluable.

They are the perfect mix of "knowledge seeking rational", with "evil take over the world bad boy", its effing hot.

I could probably go on forever. : )


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## Tkae (Oct 15, 2009)

knght990 said:


> TKae
> 
> You do realize you are throwing fuel on the fire right?
> Disparaging INTJs will decrease the likelihood of you endearing yourself.
> ...


No no no, I'm throwing _hot sauce_ on the fire.

Fuel is the ESTJs.

But no. This is very much _not_ the place for me to talk about the reasons.

It's not like I hate you or anything. You're just very draining to me emotionally. At a distance you seem vulnerable, fragile, but fascinated with the world; much like a kitten in a cardboard box.

Then I walk up and trying to pet you and suddenly you're definitely _not _like kittens.

It's a cycle, and it's a very tiring one. You dangle an emotional side, then I try to connect with you and suddenly you're made of ice. I back off, you melt a little, then the second I try again later you freeze again.

I get tired of it is all.

Yeah, sure, saying this may reduce my chances of ever truly getting an INTJ to open up to me, but I don't have to be a gambling man to know that bets oft lost are with each try less likely to be won.

I've tried being the first to make contact, and I've gotten a face full of snow every single time. I'm too tired of trying. I'm to the point of giving up and keeping my tail between my legs from now on. If an INTJ wants to try for a change, then I'm willing to listen. But I'm to the point of realizing that maybe you guys just don't associate with the people you don't think are of a certain caliber. Whatever the reason is, I've failed too many times, so many that now it would just be ignorant to do anything but cut my losses and move on.


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## InvisibleJim (Jun 30, 2009)

Tkae said:


> No no no, I'm throwing _hot sauce_ on the fire.
> 
> Fuel is the ESTJs.
> 
> ...


The most important thing you can do is convince an INTJ that it is safe for them to be open with you. This involves carefully wording your challenges and controlling your emotions so that they don't feel they will break you. Most INTJ's are afraid of how others affect them and moreso how they affect others. I've yet to see an INTJ that doesn't have sp as their primary or as a strong secondary enneagram flavour.


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## decided (May 17, 2009)

My opinion of INTJs are based on my husband, who is an INTJ, type 1w9, with a Masters in Philosophy.

He was surprisingly withdrawn when I met him, and his family said he was 'difficult'. They couldn't get him to do anything he didn't want to do. But I found him easy to draw out of his shell, and understood him quickly and easily.

He is extremely fussy about who he will talk to, and will keep his thoughts to himself rather than talk to stupid people. I actually like his approach, and know that when I meet a friend of his that they are likely to be worth my time. Sometimes he is too quick to judge the value of something. There have been many times where he's reacted negatively to a person, topic of conversation or object, then slowly changed his mind because my curiosity was piqued and I kept asking questions.

He is emotionally distant, and I am the only person that he is completely open with. Even then, I have to coax him to talk sometimes. But he is highly intelligent, has an amazing memory for facts and information, and his emotional distance makes him perfect for debating. I am always impressed with his argumentation and reasoning, and enjoy getting into discussions with him. He's a great conversationalist.

Despite his fussiness and distance from people, he is well loved by friends. He is friendly, very funny and sarcastic, and people enjoy his company. Nonetheless, he is kinda paranoid sometimes that nobody really likes him. I think he thinks that others judge him as harshly as he judges himself. And he is hard on himself. He pushes himself to get everything done, and to have everything right. I sometimes wish he would take more time out for himself, and I do my best not to feel guilty when I don't have everything perfect.

Even though he is emotionally removed, he is an amazing listener / sounding board. I am able to talk about absolutely anything with him and know that he will keep asking questions until he understands. He is able to listen to every random thought that I have, and really understand me exactly as I understand myself. It's wonderful to be able to share my thoughts so completely like that, and be completely loved as I am.

He likes to follow routines, which I find kind of funny, but it makes him happy. When he is not in a good head space, he can get a little obsessive compulsive, checking the door is locked several times before we can leave the house. This doesn't happen frequently though, as he is usually very relaxed and happy.

He is amazingly trusting, and I trust him completely. He has no idea when somebody is flirting with him and likes it when people notice me. He has always been completely committed to our relationship, and I don't doubt his faithfulness at all. He is very good at getting necessary things done around the house etc, and never shirks his responsibilities to friends and family. He is a good person.

There's a lot more I could say but it is close to midnight here and I really have to head to bed.

But to sum up what I have said so far, my opinion of INTJs is that they are:
Withdrawn, fussy about people, judgmental (sometimes too quickly), emotionally distant, intelligent, argumentative, excellent listeners and conversationalists, routined, trustworthy, committed, and conscientious.


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## knght990 (Jul 28, 2009)

Tkae said:


> No no no, I'm throwing _hot sauce_ on the fire.
> 
> Fuel is the ESTJs.
> 
> ...


Thank you, i understand a bit more now. 
I would suggest, should you decide you have the energy and desire to approach INTJs again, that you don't try to delve into their emotions. Everything else is fair game except the INTJ's emotions within your own personal limits. When you earn their trust, which could take years, the INTJs will share their emotions with you when they are comfortable doing so. You will not be able to force it to happen. 
Trying to find out about an INTJ's emotions when they don't want you to will be seen as a threat and they will push you away.


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

InvisibleJim said:


> The most important thing you can do is convince an INTJ that it is safe for them to be open with you. This involves carefully wording your challenges and controlling your emotions so that they don't feel they will break you. Most INTJ's are afraid of how others affect them and moreso how they affect others. I've yet to see an INTJ that doesn't have sp as their primary or as a strong secondary enneagram flavour.


I like this about you INTJs.
It's like a challenge. How far can I go? How long can I control my emotions and make you think that you haven't gotten to me? If I can go long enough, then I can analyze you well without you ever knowing it.
hehehe
But then, you INTJs are good at analyzing me too.
I guess I have a few competitive bones in my body. Yes, I like to be good at everything. But I don't like for anyone to know about it. haha


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## Akrasiel (Oct 25, 2009)

Tkae said:


> I think maybe I've come to realize that INTJ are like drinking hot sauce.
> 
> Ya know?
> 
> ...


*hugs* I'm sorry


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## Rao (Apr 4, 2009)

I have never met another INTJ, but I don't think I would like them too much.


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## Taro (Dec 2, 2009)

I only recently learned about all these types and I feel a bit strange about being an INTJ. I know that the comments in this thread are generalized, or perhaps more likely the opposite, focused on the limited number of individuals the previous posters have encountered in their lives.

But it sounds quite strange to me that someone would say they've "had enough of" or "are afraid/intimidated by" a personality type. It's easy to generalize types, just as it is to generalize races, sexes or even human beings in general. We are all immature at one point, can be foolish, arrogant, can focus on and display one characteristic for a certain length of time. And it's possible that a person has very similar experiences with these types, but it doesn't mean they should think "I don't get along with these types" or even "Most of this type behave like this". Because the world population is enormous, so there's no way you'd get even close to a majority sample.

Males who have low self esteem that are continually rejected by women they want to date have two choices: either keep trying, or give up. Most keep trying. For Tkae, it is unfortunate that you've had bad experiences with people of this type, but I would say do not lose hope, that is unless you choose to.

Some people, regardless of type, are more shut in and difficult to get along with. It sounds like you are intrigued by the prospect of bringing that sort of person out of their shell and accessing their emotions. It is a noble goal but one that obviously won't always be successful, because there's a reason the person has isolated themselves in that hole. So you either leave them in their holes or you keep trying.

But INTJs are not always going to behave that way, and will not always be so emotionally reserved. Sometimes it takes simply the right cue for them to open up, and you might have trouble figuring out what that is. There's no guarantee. As this thread suggests and real life will demonstrate, INTJs do have emotions, and they will let them out. It's a question of how and when, and whether or not you are there when it happens.

Obviously if you give up, you'll never be there to see it.


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

^ Well, I may be generalizing by saying this, but I have officially decided that INTJs are my favorite type to talk to. 

Disclaimer: All official opinions are subject to change upon further examination of the issue at hand.


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## Isitso (Dec 3, 2009)

I do not know any confirmed INTJs in person (maybe one or two I suspect but cannot confirm) so I have never had any extended interaction with them other than myself and over the internet. I believe we can come across as "snarky" when we feel we are out in the open or need to prove something to ourselves, when I feel cornered I am more likely to come across as arrogant/extremely cold. It's almost like I have two selves, the primary self that is the primary INTJ- confident yet quiet and to the point, as well as relatively intelligent. Then I have a self that is more vulnerable and confused. When people attempt to talk to me and I do not feel comfortable, it is almost like my more vulnerable self is simply a bystander as my primary self relentlessly analyzes, critiques, and judges said person. Deep down sometimes I want to be held by someone and just be taken care of by their comforting aura, yet I prevent myself from ever getting that close to someone and cannot find anybody close to the high standards I set.


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## Taro (Dec 2, 2009)

Out of curiosity Isitso (and anyone else who replied here actually), when you share opinions about INTJs you know, or when you talk about confirmed or not confirmed, are you talking about people who you know have taken the full fledged M-B test and are positive INTJ? Or people who only show those characteristics, or who have taken the online tests?


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## InvisibleJim (Jun 30, 2009)

songofcalamity said:


> I only know three INTJs. My younger sister who is more like my older sister, because of the way she mothers me. INTJ good friend and an INTJ acquaintance.
> 
> ...
> 
> To me, it's like a blue flame, dangerously intense but very beautiful.


This is possibly the best synopsis of the INTJ emotional state/fragility I have read.


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## Isitso (Dec 3, 2009)

Taro said:


> Out of curiosity Isitso (and anyone else who replied here actually), when you share opinions about INTJs you know, or when you talk about confirmed or not confirmed, are you talking about people who you know have taken the full fledged M-B test and are positive INTJ? Or people who only show those characteristics, or who have taken the online tests?


When I say the people I know are not confirmed, I mean that they have not walked up to me and said "I am an INTJ", it is not my right nor accurate to refer to them as a definite INTJ until they state that is what they are, regardless of how certain I am. I find that people who are sure of themselves do not need to take the full fledged test, if they are already certain of their personality type (through research of the different types) and do not feel a need to take the test then that is their saved time. If they are uncertain then by all means they should take the test if they wish to, but it is their personal choice.


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

Taro said:


> Out of curiosity Isitso (and anyone else who replied here actually), when you share opinions about INTJs you know, or when you talk about confirmed or not confirmed, are you talking about people who you know have taken the full fledged M-B test and are positive INTJ? Or people who only show those characteristics, or who have taken the online tests?


The people who I have referred to in this thread have all been PC members. I do think that I am slightly acquainted with one (maybe two) INTJs in real life. The one that I am more sure of does not know his type. He comes off as interesting, amusing, and intelligent to me but to a friend he is arrogant and rude.


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## Taro (Dec 2, 2009)

Thanks for the clarification. I was just curious when people around the forum say they know types "in real life" what they meant. Of course some may use it differently than others, but it seems like something that could be a bit tricky to discern without knowing them well or having them admit their type.


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## dorareever (Jan 2, 2010)

they're interesting...they seem to operate in ways that are almost borderline insane for me, and scary...and dangerously sexy. :blushed:
i cannot say if i LIKE them, I'm interested in them which is a completely different thing. and as I already mentioned, I have this weird *purely* sexual attraction to them.


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## perennialurker (Oct 1, 2009)

dorareever said:


> I have this weird *purely* sexual attraction to them.


Damn, that's what all the girls say.:frustrating:


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## TurranMC (Sep 15, 2009)

I don't really type people in real life but my experience with people I believe to be INTJs in real life has generally been very positive. We have similar thought patterns so we have a mutual respect for each other. How our relationship usually goes is I am generally very assertive in comparison to them so when issues arise or dealing with group work they generally come to me to handle problems for them. These problems usually involve other people. The INTJ asks me to tell them all what to do or discuss any issues with them. On the other side of the coin I tend to go to INTJs for advice. I do not believe all INTJs are necessarily intelligent but they at least spend their time putting a great deal of thought into things and their input is generally appreciated. In addition despite being ENTJ I'm pretty lazy so I tend to tell the INTJ to do shit for me 


Overall I generally have more respect for INTJs in comparison to other types. Biggest problem with INTJs is they can be very arrogant and this clashes with me greatly.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

One of my little brothers is an INTJ. Personally, I find them to be very likeable people.


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## Optimist (Jan 8, 2010)

My mom is an INTJ, and she's great to talk to. Sometimes her tendency to bombard me with scientific theories annoys me, and sometimes my tendency to pepper her with emotional problems annoys her, but overall, I think we have a good relationship. I respect INTJs in general. :3


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## Hocking (Jan 2, 2010)

You guys are pretty badical.


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## Aislinn (Jan 21, 2013)

Akrasiel said:


> I'm an INTJ and my favourite types are the INFJ and the INTP. I was wondering what INFJ's general opinion are on INTJ's. (I'm conceited so I don't really care about their opinion on INTP's) Anyways, please give your input if you are an INFJ, or if you are a type with you own opinion on how you view INTJ's.


 I'm an INFP who's closest friend is an INTJ. Being an INFP, I'm loyal to a few core values to a somewhat annoying extent. One of them is honesty. INTJ's are overtly honest, and don't play mind games. You always know here you stand with them, and that's really attractive in people. 
You guys don't screw around with formalities and pretenses and dig right for the interesting topics. You're respectful of personal space. You listen and respect people when they are vulnerable, but don't let them lie to themselves and illustrate their faults.
INTJ's have a balance of self-confidence and social insecurity that I find fascinating. They're geniuses and amazing conversationalists when you get to know them well.
I know that to a lot of people INTJ's are intimidating, and come of as cold, but you guys are my favorites along with INTP's and ENTP's.


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## Aislinn (Jan 21, 2013)

*INTJ's*



Akrasiel said:


> I'm an INTJ and my favourite types are the INFJ and the INTP. I was wondering what INFJ's general opinion are on INTJ's. (I'm conceited so I don't really care about their opinion on INTP's) Anyways, please give your input if you are an INFJ, or if you are a type with you own opinion on how you view INTJ's.


 I'm an INFP who's closest friend is an INTJ. Being an INFP, I'm loyal to a few core values to a somewhat annoying extent. One of them is honesty. INTJ's are overtly honest, and don't play mind games. You always know here you stand with them, and that's really attractive in people. 
You guys don't screw around with formalities and pretenses and dig right for the interesting topics. You're respectful of personal space. You listen and respect people when they are vulnerable, but don't let them lie to themselves and illustrate their faults.
INTJ's have a balance of self-confidence and social insecurity that I find fascinating. They're geniuses and amazing conversationalists when you get to know them well.
I know that to a lot of people INTJ's are intimidating, and come of as cold, but you guys are my favorites along with INTP's and ENTP's.


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## marckos (May 6, 2011)

My teacher from college is an INTJ an I really like him but I tend to dislike young INTJs and the few that I have encounter suffer the "Im a God, everyone who doesnt agreed is an idiot":ninja:

Score: 5/10, they are neutral about me and Im neutral about them.


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