# Confused ISXJ; stuck between "thinking" and "feeling"



## hulia (Sep 13, 2012)

Hello! I need some help here figuring out whether or not I am an *ISFJ*, or an *ISTJ*. I constantly fluctuate between the two on tests, sometimes scoring a 50/50 on feeling and thinking. I feel as if I am more of an ISFJ, but I do have some ISTJ characteristics. It's quite troubling to me, and I would like to have a better idea of my personality type (I'd hate to mistype any more if that is the case). Any input would be greatly appreciated! Sorry in advance that this is so long! I just.. realized that after finishing it.

Questionnaire (taken from LeaT):

*1. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.*
I am going through a (slightly) stressful situation currently, which may affect my answers (mostly school-based). I also have traits of social anxiety and slightly depression; neither are officially diagnosed, but both illnesses run in the family and I most likely have both. I am (cis) female, 17, and have a fluctuating "positive/neutral" state of mind right now.

*2. Study these two images here and here. Which one do you prefer and why? How would you describe it?
*I prefer the second picture, due to the fact that I am more drawn the colours, setting and action taking place. Cafes are very relaxing to me, and the warmer contrast of colours (reds, purples, warmer tones) enforces the tranquillity for myself. I would describe it as a person in a cafe or bakery (judging on the cup and croissant in the image). If the image were warmer with tones, I would prefer it even more. The first image for me seems too desolate and cold. Calming, but cold. I do not prefer the dark colours of the first image.

*3. Please describe yourself as a person if you were to introduce yourself to someone else like in a cover letter. What kind of person are you and why?*
I am a hard worker, dedication and efficiency is a very important aspect of my life. My favourite thing to do is to help others, I am a very generous and kind person; helping others makes me the person that I am. I am a nurturer and a caregiver. Seeing other people happy brings me joy, and making people happy is what ultimately makes me happy. I am a very sympathetic, and understanding person; I do not anger quickly and I always try to be as optimistic as possible. Creativity and mellowness are virtues. I am here to make the world for other people, and myself, a better place.

*4. What kind of person would you LIKE to be? Why? What kind of person would you NOT want to be? Why?*
I like to be a very caring and compassionate person. Others will always be the priority for myself, before my own personal needs. I love to enjoy life, and I would like to be a more-open individual, and not so aloof and withdrawn at most times. I would not like to be a cold, bitter, depressed and isolated person. (I love my alone time but in order to feel good about myself, I have to volunteer in ways that help other people.)

*5. Do you think there are any differences to how you described yourself and how people actually perceive you? How do you think others would describe you? If there are any discrepancies between these two that are you are aware of; do you know why exactly that is?*
There might be minor differences to how people perceive me rather than what I have described about myself. In another person's observations [second-person point of view(?)], I would most likely be described as aloof, reserved and shy, if I am seen alone. I could be described as a sad person, seeing as that I am not very expressive by myself. If the same person, or another being, were to perceive me while I am doing something that I enjoy, or spending time with my friends, I could easily be mistaken as an extroverted, charismatic person. I have way more expression on my face during certain said events, such as more smiling (rather than looking gloomy or upset outside of those situations).

*6. What in life do you find to be of importance? Why? If you are unsure you can always take the Value Test and post the results here. Do note that it helps if you narrow it down to 20 or ideally 10 values as suggested at stage 2.*
Value Test results - i.imgur.com/4kF8h.png
I find helping others and seeking happiness and acceptance of ourselves, and other people, the most important things in life. Humour and optimism are important values to me, as well.

*7. How do you react to new situations in your life? Can you describe an event in your life where you were in an unknown situation? How did you deal with it?*
I tend to become uneasy during new situations, depending on the circumstances. I can adapt to change fairly easy, but I may not be necessarily happy with the situation. I can become anxious about any given situation. I suppose one situation would be when I had to stay abroad in New Zealand on a school trip, and the overwhelming anxiety nearly threw me into a deep depression for the first couple of days, between having to get used to being by myself, only accompanied with one friend in a hotel room, and travelling in groups with people I did not care for. After the third day or so, my anxiety decreased significantly after I became aware of my surroundings and realized that the trip was not nearly as bad as I had made it out to be. Lets just say that my perspective on the situation changed so much, that at the end of the week, I was not eager to go back home to Australia. (I hope this is a good example.)

*8. Please describe yourself when you are in a stressful situation. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.*
When I am in a stressful situation, I tend to shut-down, and ignore the problem until my mind can conjure a solution. I primarily focus on activities and hobbies that take all of my attention, such as music, video games, going for a walk, or closing my eyes and ultimately try to clear my mind. In a situation where I cannot "escape," per se, I become extremely anxious and I may become unresponsive or, almost, lifeless. Depends on the situation, and the cause of stress. For example, during a timed maths test, whenever I cannot solve a problem, my mind will work through many different processes to find the solution. I am a stubborn person and cannot continue onto the next problem until the one I'm struggling with is finally solved. This may cause me to run out of the time for the other problems, which will leave me feeling even more stressed out.

*9. Please describe yourself when you are in an enjoyable situation. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.*
I am a very exuberant person in an enjoyable situation. I am happy, optimistic, calm and at peace. I tend to be very expressive and my humour and (true) personality shines through. Around my friends and enjoyable company, I am a very humourous, and light-hearted person.

*10. Describe your relationship to socialization. How do you perceive one-on-one interaction? How do you perceive group interaction?*
Depending on the person, and number of persons, my relationship with socialization can vary. I know that I am an introverted person, given, but I can speak fluently and efficiently with other people. I can hold and keep a conversation going, but I feel drained after a very long, or stimulating conversation. 

*One-on-one interaction:* Very chatty and talkative,_ if _the other person is, as well. I am an imaginative person and I can come up with almost any topic to chat about. I enjoy mentioning details about myself to other people, and hearing others mention interesting aspects about themselves. If I do not like the person I am talking to, I will be reserved in my wording and talking, and eventually the conversation will die off. But, in general, I enjoy one-on-one interaction.

*Group interaction: *Depending on the size of the group I am interacting with/speaking to, I can either be anxious in the situation, or not. I tend to actually do better in larger crowds, because the feeling of less pressure, as a opposed with a smaller group--with everyone having their eyes and thoughts on me--can be less nerve-wracking. I can blend in with everyone else. Smaller groups can be enjoyable if the group is composed of those I can relate with. But, as a whole, I would prefer to speak to a larger group (perhaps 20+ people) since their attention can be deferred to another person or object. And, I would not have to focus on everyone's reactions in a smaller meeting. I hope this makes some sense?

*11. Describe your relationship to society. What are the elements of it you hold important or unimportant (e.g. social norms, values, customs, traditions)? How do you see people as a whole?*
I hold social norms to be of importance, same as with traditions. I enjoy diversity in society, and different customs. I do not agree with some values which are forced upon society today, but as a majority, I do enjoy society. I love different cultures and learning different things about various people. I generally find the good in people; I enjoy most others. Sure, there are a lot of shitty things and people out there, but I don't want to focus on the negative. I want to enjoy the good things and enjoyable human beings for who they are. I tend to feel inferior towards some people, though, which does fuel to my introversion.

*12. Describe your relationship to authority. How do you perceive authority? What does it mean to you, and how do you deal with it?*
I do enjoy authority.. to an extent. It keeps me in order, and in balance. I don't have a strong opinion on it, to be honest. I could most likely not be in authority of anyone or anything. I lack the control, and dominance to do so. I sometimes see those in authority as being cold, but I am overly-sensitive to receiving criticism if I happen to make a mistake, or not follow a rule/law correctly. But, I can see those who can be in authority as brave and strong, as well. I think authority in general is a good thing, but in some cases, it can become abused.

*13. Describe your relationship to order and chaos. What do order and chaos mean to you? How do they manifest in your daily life? *
Life includes both chaos and order, and all of our lives consist of a continuous series of good and bad experiences, which shape us into the people that we are, I believe. I feel as if the bad experiences and the good ones, have affected my life completely. My bad occurrences (chaos) have taught me not to make the same mistake twice, but they have taught me to maybe become more reserved so I'm not affected. But, my good experiences, re-teach me that life is an enjoyable thing for myself. There is a sense of order between the two which come about. I lack education on this topic, because I haven't really looked into it before, so I'm sorry if my answer isn't very descriptive and somewhat blunt.

*14. What is it that you fear in life? Why? How does this fear manifest to you both in how you think and how you act?
*I fear failure. I fear rejection. My fears have set me back from achieving a lot of things in life, unfortunately. I am a withdrawn person at times, because if my ideas and personality, if myself as a person, is criticized and rejected, I spiral downwards into a never-ending self-hatred which lingers for days, maybe even weeks or months. If I try, and fail, the same self-loathing occurs. I have to put my best effort in almost everything that I do in order to feel okay. If my best work is rejected, and I have failed, I will sometimes lose inspiration to try for a very, very long time. These reasons have contributed greatly to my introverted personality. Also, taken from the personalitypage sites, I see that this is a common trait within ISFJ/ISTJs: 


> ("ISFJs need positive feedback from others. In the absence of positive feedback, or in the face of criticism, the ISFJ gets discouraged, and may even become depressed. When down on themselves or under great stress, the ISFJ begins to imagine all of the things that might go critically wrong in their life. They have strong feelings of inadequacy, and become convinced that "everything is all wrong", or "I can't do anything right"/"Under stress, ISTJs may fall into "catastrophe mode", where they see nothing but all of the possibilities of what could go wrong. They will berate themselves for things which they should have done differently, or duties which they failed to perform. They will lose their ability to see things calmly and reasonably, and will depress themselves with their visions of doom.")


*15. What is it that you desire in life? What do you strive to achieve? Why? Where do you think these drives and desires stem from or are inspired by?*
I desire happiness and success in life. I strive to achieve to live abroad, and I want to travel and experience the world. My only goal right now is to go to America, or maybe live in Europe, or New Zealand. It is my biggest goal and I will make it happen, one way or another. Both of my parents are very driven people, so I could have adapted that motivation and mindset from the both of them, and I am inspired to see the world and experience life in different places, and different ways. I want to learn everything about them. I want to be happy in life.

*16. a) What activities energize you most? b) What activities drain you most? Why?
a) Energizing activities* - Having fun with friends, creating things, writing music, playing guitar and drawing. Anything mind-stimulating, but not fairly difficult. I like occupying myself with the things that I love, which bring me energy.
*b) Draining activities *- Long, continuous episodes of social interaction. Being an entertainer for a group of people. Trying to find a solution to a difficult problem. I am not the most social person in certain situations, and I need my alone time after a long period of social interaction. If I keep going, I feel emotionally drained and I start to become agitated. Difficult problems in which I cannot find the answer in a short amount of time, or in a regular process or formula, will cause me to become extremely frustrated - but I will stay dedicated to the task until it is complete. I'll most likely feel extremely tired afterwards.

*17. Why do you want to know your type? What type do you think you are? Why this/these type(s)? Is there a type that appeals to you, to your self-perception, that you would like to be? Why? If you know your enneagram, please post this here. If you have done any online function tests such as the Keys2Cognition, it helps if you post these results here as well.
*I want to know my type because I want to find out who I am, as a person. I am very confused on the thinking and feeling aspect, and which one applies to me. I can relate with both the ISXJ personality types, I have characteristics of both "F" and "T". My enneagram type is 2. I scored as an ISTJ on the Keys2Cognition test.

18. *Finally, is there something else you find to be of importance you want to add about yourself you think might be of relevance when helping to type you?
*I feel as if I explained enough with the above statements, but I still do feel as if I am an ISFJ, rather than a ISTJ. Except, unlike with the typical characteristic of an ISFJ, I can say "no", and I am not too overly-critical of myself. In the case of an ISTJ:


> "ISTJs have an excellent ability to take any task and define it, organize it, plan it, and implement it through to completion. They are very hard workers, who do not allow obstacles to get in the way of performing their duties. They do not usually give themselves enough credit for their achievements, seeing their accomplishments simply as the natural fulfillment of their obligations.ISTJs usually have a great sense of space and function, and artistic appreciation. Their homes are likely to be tastefully furnished and immaculately maintained. They are acutely aware of their senses, and want to be in surroundings which fit their need for structure, order, and beauty."


I feel as if I can relate with this exactly, but I seem to relate with the "nurturing" aspects of ISFJ's more.
I am so lost on which one I am. 

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Thank you so much in advance for everyone who's willing to help me out! I'm young and quite dumb, especially when it comes to personality types. Evviva! ♥


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## Boolean11 (Jun 11, 2012)

you either have FeTi or TeFi:
Check this thread where I try to explain the differences, you'll relate to either two functions:

http://personalitycafe.com/cognitiv...ccinct-subjective-vs-objective-functions.html


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## Ellis Bell (Mar 16, 2012)

I sense that extraverted Feeling, Fe, is probably your auxilliary (or maybe even your dominant?) function, which says ISFJ or ESFJ to me, given how much you talk about your relationships with others. Questions number 3, 4, 6, 10, 11 in particular suggest it. I would even add question no. 2 to that list.

I saw lesser Ne in your response to question 8 (solving a math problem), too. But you are probably developing your Ne, as seen in q. 15.

Si from question 11, 12.

In sum, I think ISFJ.


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## Flatlander (Feb 25, 2012)

I definitely get the feel of Fe/Ti rather than Te/Fi, and my current verdict would be ISFJ.


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