# Women more emotional then men regardless of MBTI type?



## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

unsure how true this is but I have seen a lot of women whom I'd classify as Ts..become emotional, cry, turn hysterical and so on. It is true that there are guys who display the same thing, but in my experience even men who are Fs tend towards being more stoic.

I'm a feeler, but feeling something strongly is a rare event for me and I don't seem to be more emotional then the next dude, neither do I display it much and I don't require someone else to understand how I feel or to comfort me *shrug*.

:ninja: I suffer an emotional breakdown maybe once every 2-5 years?..aka cry cus my girlfriend left me or because there was a rerun of Braveheart on tv lol.  I haven't shed a tear for anything or anyone in...woah 5 years. Last breakup was light, got over it in 2 weeks, was only sad for a while...and a lot of people have died since then too so *shrug*.

o.o the way I see it is that F & T have very little to do with how emotional one is.

What is your personal expereince with this? Discuss.


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## Schweeeeks (Feb 12, 2013)

Society is conducive to women acting that way. Not men.
I've seen men get like that in private. Never, ever in public. And even behind closed doors, they would rather be angry or aloof than outwardly "upset" in the way you described.
If it was super frowned upon for women to act that way? Who knows. Maybe we would wrap out our reactions in an iron fist too.


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

Meh. l will say l think simple physiology influences the way l _act_ but it's separate from my core. l see no reason to pretend l don't have any feminine inclinations whatsoever, lf other women really feel that they don't, its fine with me. 

lt's been something that has become more apparent with age for me anyway so l wouldn't doubt them. l'm a little softer than most NTs and l probably have typical estrogen levels. l often feel more like an NF based simply on my behavior, but then l realize how differently we actually think and see how my thought process doesn't line up with their's.

Basically, l think plenty of men who identify an an F type, INFP for example are going to be more "emotional" in their most fundamental mental framework. Whereas l may come off as soft and non-confrontational(sometimes) but hold beliefs that aren't rooted in moral values.

lt could go so many different ways, really. You might have an INFP woman who seems more hardened emotionally than l do, and l see plenty of men and women from all types who's outward presentation of being logical or emotional doesn't always match their type. Sometimes they're mistyped but sometimes they're simply one way in behavior for various reasons unrelated to MBTI and have a mental framework that deviates from that.


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## jjr667 (Jul 4, 2012)

Yeah, I guess girls have estrogen and guys have testosterone, so it's going to create different behaviors regardless of what functions you prefer


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## StElmosDream (May 26, 2012)

Using myself as an example, I have been emotional in public: tears, anger, sadness, depressive mood and even trying to hold back joys or sorrow felt... really depends upon my mood and how empathetically attuned I feel to someone or something (even once read a story in the Newspaper and had to remind myself I was on a train to avoid welling up at the sadness conveyed). I can be very stoic or 'quietly sad' but as a FEeler I tend to be quite outwardly expressive in my emotional expressions on the face and vibes conveyed.


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## Seranova (Mar 1, 2013)

_I do not display strong emotion in public, it feels very uncomfortable to bring attention to myself that way...though I do remain cordial and polite most times. In private and amongst close, trusted friends and family, yes I am much more emotionally open and expressive because I feel safe and welcome to do so in such a setting. _


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## Lotan (Aug 10, 2012)

I think what you're looking for is the calm/limbic scale from Big 5, missing in MBTI and only very slightly correlated with T and F. More women tend to be limbic regardless of T/F, and more men tend to be calm. However, this isn't true for everyone. I'm a calm type and relate to a lot of what you've said.

Society is a factor as well, because boys are discouraged to express their emotions from a young age a lot more than girls are.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

Moop said:


> Society is conducive to women acting that way. Not men.
> I've seen men get like that in private. Never, ever in public. And even behind closed doors, they would rather be angry or aloof than outwardly "upset" in the way you described.
> If it was super frowned upon for women to act that way? Who knows. Maybe we would wrap out our reactions in an iron fist too.


Yeeyup - I remember talking about this in my Psychology of Personality course. Basically the idea is that you don't want negative feedback from society, and if you're a boy, and a "sissy" or a girl and a [I now forget which term was used], you get negative reactions per situation which eventually condition you to properly fit within your gender's stereotypes.

In my household growing up however, you did -not- show emotion - it was a sign of weakness, and unwelcome. Of course I was picked on by others for "being robotic" or stoic, cold, whatever ridiculous shit they called it, because I wasn't expressive lyke a gurl should be. *rollseyes*


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## Kagiri (Jul 20, 2012)

Feerbeer, well i'm pretty close, the last i cried was 3 years + ago when my girlfriend pack up her stuff from my room after i broke up with her.
Other then that other times i cry when i was movies, tv dramas, animes... most recently i teared watching re-runs of boy meets world, cant remember the episode but it was pretty good.
I am in a rocky ass relationship now and we just had "the talk" last night, and its still hanging mid air... but i am surprisingly calm and logical about it. I still feel something, couldn't sleep till 3am last night but overall, affected but functional, i just all my break ups have left me prepared for breaks at any moment....


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## Kaj (Nov 9, 2010)

This is a slight tangent, but I think I can speak for quite a few men when I say I wish I could cry more in certain situations (like when I feel I need help, or when I need people to lay off me), but I can't! Instead I get frustrated/angry, and no-one is sympathetic to that. Naturally it can even make people's treatment of me worse. 
The uneven distribution of crying capability is unfair! *_bangs fist on desk_*


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## Madam (Apr 1, 2012)

Emotional breakdowns aren't the only emotions. Just because you see more women having them, doesn't necessarily mean that women are more emotional. It may be that women are more ready to express their emotions, haven't been pressured by parents/society to tone them down etc. I haven't cried in public since the age of 5 and don't become hysterical even in private. But I am one of those who started getting accused of being unemotional way too often, so now I try to fake it and pretend to be excited about stupid, mundane things.


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## Jewl (Feb 28, 2012)

Some of it is society, but there's no point in denying nature's part in it. And I think society really only exaggerated what was already there by nature. ("Hey look, women tend to be more this way. So let's make that difference ginormous and create this huge divide.") Now the mindset is very opposite. ("Hey, look, society was really dumb and they discriminated against women for having such-and-such-qualities, now let's make that difference non-existent.") We have to be careful not to swing too hard in one particular direction. There's no need to create a chasm between these differences, but there's no reason to deny them either. 

It has been recognized over the years that due to certain biological/chemical/etc differences between men and women, women tend to be more "emotional" (although that may not be the best word to use) and men more "calm" (again, for lack of better word). 

My sister, for example, is an ESTJ. She leads with Thinking. We joke about her being a sociopathic agoraphobic lobster (don't ask). But she still seems to "feel" things a lot. Just as I do. In fact, I think I tend to internalize my emotions much more than she does. 

*le shrug*


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## Psychopomp (Oct 3, 2012)

jjr667 said:


> Yeah, I guess girls have estrogen and guys have testosterone, so it's going to create different behaviors regardless of what functions you prefer


This. Simple as that. No sexism or guesswork or culturally imposed psychology or whatever.

Estrogen. 30,000 years ago it helped make them die less often than people less or more of it... and here we are.

If a single woman, or a group of women, are able to overcome that chemical compound, then hopefully their reasons are not a reaction to trauma or abuse and good on them. 

If not? Then also good, if that is what makes them more whole and happy people. Imagine a world of just men, cringe, and be glad as I am for estrogen. Also, if you see a badass objective woman, think of the fact that this badass robot has cry juice shot into their veins and they are a total badass. Beat that!


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## sorry_neither (Mar 21, 2012)

As far as I've seen, there's no science that actually says, women are more "emotional" than men because of biology.

But more importantly: can someone please define "emotional"? Is it feeling emotions? Is it feeling them frequently? Intensely? Is it expressing one's emotions? Expressing them in a calm way? Expressing them in hysterics? And when we talk about emotions, are we just talking about the nice, gentle ones? Or all of them?

Just once, I'd like to see this kind of discussion go somewhere beyond vague terminology and vague claims.


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

Julia Bell said:


> Some of it is society, but there's no point in denying nature's part in it. And I think society really only exaggerated what was already there by nature. ("Hey look, women tend to be more this way. So let's make that difference ginormous and create this huge divide.") Now the mindset is very opposite. ("Hey, look, society was really dumb and they discriminated against women for having such-and-such-qualities, now let's make that difference non-existent.") We have to be careful not to swing too hard in one particular direction. There's no need to create a chasm between these differences, but there's no reason to deny them either.
> 
> It has been recognized over the years that due to certain biological/chemical/etc differences between men and women, women tend to be more "emotional" (although that may not be the best word to use) and men more "calm" (again, for lack of better word).
> 
> ...


yes, it's the contrast along with the exaggeration. l feel neutral (normal?) but next to a male ESTJ l am what's called ''soft''. And l wouldn't want to compete with that, gross.

The aggressive male is exaggerated too, though. The introverted male could either be seen as the strong silent type or what's perceived as feminine.


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## uncertain (May 26, 2012)

FreeBeer said:


> unsure how true this is but I have seen a lot of women whom I'd classify as Ts..become emotional, cry, turn hysterical and so on. It is true that there are guys who display the same thing, but in my experience even men who are Fs tend towards being more stoic.
> 
> I'm a feeler, but feeling something strongly is a rare event for me and I don't seem to be more emotional then the next dude, neither do I display it much and I don't require someone else to understand how I feel or to comfort me *shrug*.
> 
> ...


I am an ISFP female with this dominant introverted feeling, and I have not cried for at least five years even when I feel extremely bad. I don't really have tears. I am quite emotional but I hide them most of the time.

Feeling strongly or very bad about certain thing doesn't mean that you would necessarily have a breakdown, nor does it mean that you would display it and turn hysterical in front of everyone. All these have more to do with the way you choose to deal with emotion or how well you can handle it.

Some people choose to be emotionally "strong" by hiding and dealing it on their own and think that if they fail and turn mad then they are weak. Some people choose to let it out, discuss it with friends and family, do crazy stuff, and they think there is nothing wrong about that and not something to feel ashamed of.

For me... I guess I just get used to a constant melancholia that I don't really feel like crying anymore. It's not like I feel weak if I don't hide. I kind of have that conviction, but more often I simply don't feel the need to show my emotion to anyone else, or I have a difficult time showing it when I want to. It can radiate from myself though, then I don't know.

Some Ts say that feelers are conscious about their emotion (which are more Fi than Fe, imo), while for thinkers emotion is a subconscious or unconscious thing. I would imagine that T turning hysterical without understanding why they are being so, while a hysterical F would be able to tell you why.

So, no, I don't think T and F have too much to do with being emotional, although I am not sure if they have no influence at all.

Not to say that women are more "entitled" to cry in our society. You can have ten emotional men pretending to be cool and ten emotional women crying and sobbing with each other.


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## BlueSeven (Nov 19, 2012)

jjr667 said:


> Yeah, I guess girls have estrogen and guys have testosterone, so it's going to create different behaviors regardless of what functions you prefer


Well actually. Both men and women have hormonal cycles monthly, in which their levels of estrogen and testosterone change, however their behaviors aren't interchanged noticeably, so I doubt that's the reason.


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## Bardo (Dec 4, 2012)

ENFP men seem to not care about societal expectations, I know a type 8 ENFP lifelong criminal and he's as likely to burst into tears and bring you with him as he is to go punch people in the face.

I think a lot of it is down to expectations and lack of practice. I don't care so much now about keeping my emotions iron clad but what I'm finding out is that I lack the vocabulary and speed to actually get what I want across. I'm used to thinking it not saying it.


Interestingly I think most people don't actually bat an eyelid when encountering male emotion really, I don't think we have that much reason to hide it.


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## Psychopomp (Oct 3, 2012)

BlueSeven said:


> Well actually. Both men and women have hormonal cycles monthly, in which their levels of estrogen and testosterone change, however their behaviors aren't interchanged noticeably, so I doubt that's the reason.


Estrogen affects mental health and mood... that is proven. Though, that being said, I don't think that PMS is tied to estrogen levels... but I think it has been tied to serotonin No surprise there, since messing with serotonin would definitely cause the stereotypical PMS 'emotional' symptoms. I don't think it is know quite why, and may only be colloquially connected to female-specific hormones. Hormones are definitely the most likely suspect, but I guess it isn't proven.

So, estrogen may not explain cycles, but it's been proven to affect mood... which dominoes into changes in emotional expression. 

And, even then, regardless of the mechanism... there is some mechanism. It's observable... anecdotal but consistent. It's just obscene how often that observation has been used as a tool for ignorance/discrimination/oppression/condescension/etc/etc/etc. I am so tempted to take the humanist approach and deny the existence of any gender-based psychological tendencies or whatever, but it's pretty clear we don't get that luxury.


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## Earworms (Mar 27, 2013)

sorry_neither said:


> As far as I've seen, there's no science that actually says, women are more "emotional" than men because of biology.


Don't need science to figure that one out. . . .

By the way, technically speaking only women can get hysterical (requires a uterus).

Science to show the differences between the brains of men and women. Women have a greater percentage of white matter as opposed to gray matter than men, there are plenty of other differences too.


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