# I am a 27 year old sexually inexperienced woman, is this a problem for men?



## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

Promethea said:


> Hehehe.. I don't mind feeling like a teacher..


Great, you got half the board dreaming of polishing your apple right now...


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## Sali (Feb 9, 2011)

Wouldn't make any difference to me either way.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

Chipps said:


> From what I've observed, it seems that people who put a premium on sex in a relationship are those who welcome/need an experienced partner. Also those who have/have had a lot of sex for pure pleasure also want this. I knew an ENTP that would basically fill out a damn score card based on how you had sex. He would go through and pick out what could have been better, or what was good, or what he's had that was better. It was so mechanical that I thought it was the most repulsive thing in the world.


Please give me his name and address so I can go punch him in the face. 

Also, are you sure he's not INT*J*?


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## Chipps (Jun 1, 2011)

Promethea said:


> Hehehe.. I don't mind feeling like a teacher..


If someone is ready and willing, then thats all I need. My last bf was apprehensive about every little thing. I mean we were both inexperienced, but I was _willing_ at least. Lol, Im still bitter about this as you can see.:laughed:


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## Kyandigaru (Mar 11, 2012)

Promethea said:


> I'm not a guy, but sexual inexperience does not bother me at all.. actually I prefer it over someone whos had a lot of exp.


Hmm? this is where we differ. 

I want a guy that knows what he's doing and understand what most women he's had, perfer. It turns me on when a guy knows what he's doing. I've had someone who didn't have much experience and when I moved my vaginal muscles, he paused with shock and asked me, "what is that?!"...LMAO. Do I have to explain during sex, that I can tighten my vagina?

oh well! To the OP, some men like inexperience and some don't just date a few guys and see if their words match their actions. Feel more for a personality rather than sexual compatability.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

Chipps said:


> Lol, me too. I want to be able to grow into a sexual relationship with someone. I don't want to feel like a pupil or teacher.


Like I said in my lengthier post, you always will have some growth into a sexual relationship if you're fully sharing sexual activity with each other. It takes months to learn what the other person likes and to figure out how to do it well. Over time you can share sexual fantasies, try new things together (maybe that you've never tried before), etc. 

In other words, I don't think you have to start from zero for there to be growth, even significant growth.


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## changos (Nov 21, 2011)

Promethea said:


> I'm not a guy, but sexual inexperience does not bother me at all


I'm a guy and I don't mind sexuan inexperience. What I don't like is sexual incompetence or sexual vanity... and that can be found on both experienced and unexperienced.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

redmanXNTP said:


> Great, you got half the board dreaming of polishing your apple right now...


theres something more genuine about a less experienced person.. in contrast, the one whos experienced just seems like they have performed the same routine on other fuckbags a million times, and i can't help but think about that.. just a little. the awkwardness is endearing in the less experienced. i know i just sounded like a huge pervert. 

and i'm pretty certain theres no apply polishing dreams. more like a nightmare that meanie promethea would come and smack that pants snake with a ruler if she found out.. i have a complex that i scare people.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

changos said:


> I'm a guy and I don't mind sexuan inexperience. What I don't like is sexual incompetence or sexual vanity... and that can be found on both experienced and unexperienced.


hahaha.. sexual vanity.. all i can think of is that scene from american psycho.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

changos said:


> I'm a guy and I don't mind sexuan inexperience. What I don't like is sexual incompetence or sexual vanity... and that can be found on both experienced and unexperienced.


Yes. A classic problem is the beautiful woman who (apparently) thinks that her beauty either guarantees that she's good sexually, or excuses her from putting effort into it. The "10" who "just lays there" is not an unusual phenomenon.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

Promethea said:


> and i'm pretty certain theres no apply polishing dreams. more like a nightmare that meanie promethea would come and smack that pants snake with a ruler if she found out.. i have a complex that i scare people.


Go on...with10morecharacters


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## Chipps (Jun 1, 2011)

redmanXNTP said:


> Please give me his name and address so I can go punch him in the face.
> 
> Also, are you sure he's not INT*J*?


He wasn't. It was the first time I've ever knowingly met another Ne dom. I worked with him for hours and we talked and talked and talked about it. He treated it like an experiment. He always need to know more about it. He wanted to try a bunch of different things just to see what he'd get out of it. He'd get bored with one person after a short amount of time. He always needed someone that could "keep up with him". I saw no Fi in sight. Ne Ti all the way. He could read women like a book. He had been with 100+ women by 24. Oh I kid you not. He was tall, decent looking, and knew figured out how to roll a woman when he was in his early teens. I wanted to vomit after a while of listening to him talk.


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## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

Promethea said:


> hahaha.. sexual vanity.. all i can think of is that scene from american psycho.


You know, I saw that movie for the first time a few months ago and it wasn't really that great of a movie IMO...

The only part that stuck in my mind was the business card scene where Patrick Bateman gets one-upped by an associate with an eggshell white textured text card and is sweating bullets and looks to be in pain. The thing that kept coming to mind was, "Man, that guy really needs to use the restroom.". XD


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

redmanXNTP said:


> Yes. A classic problem is the beautiful woman who (apparently) thinks that her beauty either guarantees that she's good sexually, or excuses her from putting effort into it. The "10" who "just lays there" is not an unusual phenomenon.


hey man, some guys are into the corpse fantasy. very cold bath before teh fuxxoring for the best effect.

anyway, the male equivalent -- i call it a 'sloppy lay' 
now i sound like some locker-room bropig. but gawd. i should just stop here.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

MNiS said:


> You know, I saw that movie for the first time a few months ago and it wasn't really that great of a movie IMO...
> 
> The only part that stuck in my mind was the business card scene where Patrick Bateman gets one-upped and is sweating bullets and looks to be in pain. The thing that kept coming to mind was, "Man, that guy really needs to use the restroom.". XD


there are so many great scenes from that movie. 'feed me a stray cat' is a classic, c'mon.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

MNiS said:


> You know, I saw that movie for the first time a few months ago and it wasn't really that great of a movie IMO...
> 
> The only part that stuck in my mind was the business card scene where Patrick Bateman gets one-upped by an associate with an eggshell white textured text card and is sweating bullets and looks to be in pain. The thing that kept coming to mind was, "Man, that guy really needs to use the restroom.". XD


It puts the lotion in the basket...


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

Promethea said:


> hey man, some guys are into the corpse fantasy. very cold bath before teh fuxxoring for the best effect.
> 
> anyway, the male equivalent -- i call it a 'sloppy lay'
> now i sound like some locker-room bropig. but gawd. i should just stop here.


I only do the meticulous scrubbing thing before I hide their bodies. It helps remove DNA evidence. 

Wait, what?


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## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

Promethea said:


> there are so many great scenes from that movie. 'feed me a stray cat' is a classic, c'mon.


lol hahaha yeah that was a pretty classic scene.


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## kaleesa (May 24, 2012)

I feel like a virgin because I don't even remember when I had sex. I mean know I had it but it didn't really amount up to much. Just missionary. I have always been curious about sex...liek when you all say I have catching up and learning to do..well learn to do what? Like just basic positions?


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

kaleesa said:


> I feel like a virgin because I don't even remember when I had sex. I mean know I had it but it didn't really amount up to much. Just missionary. I have always been curious about sex...liek when you all say I have catching up and learning to do..well learn to do what? Like just basic positions?


a good basic position is to climb on top. i can't type this response with a straight face. practice makes perfect i always say!


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## Svensenberg (May 13, 2012)

kaleesa said:


> I feel like a virgin because I don't even remember when I had sex. I mean know I had it but it didn't really amount up to much. Just missionary. I have always been curious about sex...liek when you all say I have catching up and learning to do..well learn to do what? Like just basic positions?


Haha.. you make it sound like you're trying to learn how to perform the perfect jump shot. Good sex isn't really about knowing positions and techniques, those come with time, but if you want to have great sex, your goal shouldn't just be pleasure but to make a connection with another person. Sex just for the sake of it is fun, for sure, but it sounds like what you're talking about is true intimacy and making love with someone. There isn't really a "technique" for this, it depends entirely on how the two parties feel about each other.


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## JoetheBull (Apr 29, 2010)

kaleesa said:


> I never dated much and only had sex about 4 times when I was 20. None of them were good experiences. Would my inexperience and age bother most men?


personally, it wouldn't bother me since I don't much experience either. Then again I am not most men and consider a bit abnormal to some.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

kaleesa said:


> I feel like a virgin because I don't even remember when I had sex. I mean know I had it but it didn't really amount up to much. Just missionary. I have always been curious about sex...liek when you all say I have catching up and learning to do..well learn to do what? Like just basic positions?


Good, then you won't have a lot of problems learning assuming you make some good choices in sexual partners. 

Here's a strong suggestion, to be taken as a supplement to my lengthier post, and I said this to my current girlfriend the first time we had sex: "If you want something, either ask for it or do it." 

In other words, speak up. If I'm your partner, I have no idea what it is you like, and everyone likes different things. Your anatomy fits together differently, your bodies move differently, you have different comfort levels, etc. Worse, guys are extremely clueless about womens' bodies in general anyway. 

You don't need a pre-flight checklist, but you should definitely be willing to say:

"I'd like to try..."
"I like it when you..."
etc. 

Or, just go ahead and move yourself into another position. 

Also, like I said before, confidence is very sexy. Only a guy who's got some issues would find that threatening. Speaking up and saying what you like or what you'd like to try, or just plain flat moving into another position and expecting him to follow, will be a HUGE turn-on for most guys (assuming you're already comfortable with each other overall).


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

Promethea said:


> a good basic position is to climb on top. i can't type this response with a straight face. practice makes perfect i always say!


Ah, the Cowgirl!


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## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

kaleesa said:


> I feel like a virgin because I don't even remember when I had sex. I mean know I had it but it didn't really amount up to much. Just missionary. I have always been curious about sex...liek when you all say I have catching up and learning to do..well learn to do what? Like just basic positions?


You know what? A lot of guys (not all guys but a lot) do like a woman to be sexually inexperienced (myself included). So you're needlessly worrying about something really trivial. Not everyone wants a sexual partner who's been around the block a few times, if you know what I mean. 

Heck, some people strap dynamite to themselves and blow themselves up in the hopes of marrying 72 virgins so there has to be something appealing about sexual purity, am I right? <--- I'm being totally serious here.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

redmanXNTP said:


> Ah, the Cowgirl!


ahhhh yeah exactly not like that. i see i'm going to have to draw up some diagrams and bust out the laser pointer for this presentation..


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## dilletante (Apr 13, 2012)

Foreplay is pretty important too...


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

dilletante said:


> Foreplay is pretty important too...


too much foreplay gets into sloppy boresville territory and the will lessens. there are tactful ways to encourage them that take into account the delicate nature of the situation, for example, i would perhaps say 'take your fucking pants off.'


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

dilletante said:


> Foreplay is pretty important too...


Her whole life before she met me is her foreplay. I've got work to do.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

MNiS said:


> Heck, some people strap dynamite to themselves and blow themselves up in the hopes of marrying 72 virgins so there has to be something appealing about sexual purity, am I right? <--- I'm being totally serious here.


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## dilletante (Apr 13, 2012)

Promethea said:


> too much foreplay gets into sloppy boresville territory and the will lessens. there are tactful ways to encourage them that take into account the delicate nature of the situation, for example, i would perhaps say 'take your fucking pants off.'


This is exactly the kind of open communication that is needed.


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

redmanXNTP said:


> Please give me his name and address so I can go punch him in the face.
> 
> Also, are you sure he's not INT*J*?


Not necessarily. Have you ever bedded a sexual passionate beast that is INTJ ? I have. Emmm, that is all  Stereotypes doesn't make it real/true ;-)


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

MuChApArAdOx said:


> Not necessarily. Have you ever bedded a sexual passionate beast that is INTJ ? I have. Emmm, that is all  Stereotypes doesn't make it real/true ;-)


I was being tongue-in-cheek, playing on J and INTJ stereotypes. 

The guy she's describing would appear to be better defined via psychological diagnosis, sex addiction for example, than by MBTI type anyway.


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

redmanXNTP said:


> I was being tongue-in-cheek, playing on J and INTJ stereotypes.
> 
> The guy she's describing would appear to be better defined via psychological diagnosis, sex addiction for example, than by MBTI type anyway.


The guy she's describing has an inflated ego, therefore likely doesn't get near as much sex as he'd like too. Therefore he has little to compare only taking bits and pieces of recalled memory trying to make them a whole, how it should/could/would bleh, such a huge turn off. I call them Dicks not worth thinking about, and yes they likely have some level of psychological issues going on for sure.


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## GoodOldDreamer (Sep 8, 2011)

It wouldn't be a problem for me. In fact, it sounds like a lot of fun. But I'm in a similar boat in terms of experience as the OP. What experiences I've had, while definitely helpful and meaningful, have been nearly a decade ago for me now. It's actually in some respects refreshing to know there are still women out there around my age who are around my level so that we could learn together and grow together without a huge gap putting one or the other at a disadvantage and possibly ruining the relationship. )

Oh hope, how you continue to lead me on. You are certainly a fickle mistress.


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## MyName (Oct 23, 2009)

I don't think there are very many men who would be bothered by this


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## MyName (Oct 23, 2009)

Chipps said:


> From what I've observed, it seems that people who put a premium on sex in a relationship are those who welcome/need an experienced partner. Also those who have/have had a lot of sex for pure pleasure also want this. I knew an ENTP that would basically fill out a damn score card based on how you had sex. He would go through and pick out what could have been better, or what was good, or what he's had that was better. It was so mechanical that I thought it was the most repulsive thing in the world.


I place a very high value on sex (for itself) and I don't care how much experience someone has. I think it's more a status thing than anything else.


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## Marac (Mar 26, 2012)

kaleesa said:


> I feel like a virgin because I don't even remember when I had sex. I mean know I had it but it didn't really amount up to much. Just missionary. I have always been curious about sex...liek when you all say I have catching up and learning to do..well learn to do what? Like just basic positions?


The only three positions you need to "know" are missionary, doggystyle and girl on top. Everything else is a variation of those. 

But knowing many positions isn't important for having good sex. Communication, trust, having an open mind and not being selfish are far more important qualities. If you have that, then with some time and practice, the sex should become pretty good.

As for what you asked in your original post. Whether or not a woman is experienced or inexperienced doesn't really matter at all when I choose a partner. The most important things for me is physical attraction and that I like her personality.


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## perennialurker (Oct 1, 2009)

No, not at all. The old argument that a girl needs "practice" to get experience for the "right one" is just a myth created by men to get into women's pants. If anything it may make you more desirable for a serious relationship because it shows that you are discriminating.


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## lifeisanillusion (Feb 21, 2011)

What I want and what I am attracted too can be two different things. When I think of spending the rest of my life with someone, I think of someone who is a good friend, whom I could go cross country skiing and hiking with. Cuddling with someone on the couch and watching movies. That sort of thing.

The thought of having sex with a woman who has had a lot of partners, is crazy in bed, wants sex all the time,etc really turns me on. Because I relate this too confidence as the woman knows what she wants and takes it. But I don't picture myself spending the rest of my life with her. Looks and sex appeal will get noticed first, but that doesn't mean they are the most important thing, when it comes to having a relationship with someone.

I am a male who is in the same boat as you are. When I see women that I think are super hot or sexy, I don't approach them. I am intimidated by them. I have better connections with girls whom I am not thinking about having sex with them when I first lay eyes on them. These are the girls I would like to have a relationship with. Either way, due to low self esteem, lack of love and fear; I haven't had a lot of sex or relationships.


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