# NFs - Type the Ideal Match



## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

There are many threads where people list the MBTI types they feel would be an ideal match for them....however, in this thread, let's do the opposite.

*Describe your ideal romantic match, and then let others determine what type(s) such a person sounds like (both MBTI & enneagram).*

And no doubt our ideals may not turn out so ideal in reality, or an unexpected type may fit them, but this is just a game, ooookay? :kitteh:

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I'll start....type this guy!

- Intelligence is very important (but he doesn't have to be "book smart" like me). Ability to grasp things somewhat quickly & easily & to communicate well. Good vocabulary & grammar is also nice. I usually prefer someone more "cerebral" than physical.

- Has creativity/talent/expertise/special interests. I like a guy with a sense of who he is & who can express it in an interesting way, someone I can admire. I need someone who can appreciate & admire my talents/intelligence/strengths also.

- Compatible interests to mine. Cultured: loves music, appreciates art, eats different foods, likes intellectual things, wants to travel, etc.

- Compatible Humor; a combo of witty, playful, silly. 

- Kind, compassionate, thoughtful, considerate, encouraging, supportive. Able to see other perspectives, can give the benefit of the doubt, can take constructive criticism. 

- Can lead and initiate/plan. More organized and structured than me, but not anal retentive. Responsible when it counts, but not rigid/uptight.

- Spontaneous and adventurous and likes new things/ideas/places, etc. A sense of Romanticism.

- Spiritual, shared beliefs. High moral standards and integrity.

- Has deep feelings and is loyal, but not overly dependent or emotionally weak/clingy. I prefer someone who is warm and can express their feeling, but I don't mind someone more reserved either. 

Of course there's also physical attraction & "chemistry", but that's not something to be typed.


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## Runescribe (Jul 11, 2010)

When I honestly had many of these traits I was not successful dating. When I became the reverse outwardly - I was no longer dateless. When I was the bad guy on the outside long enough, ......
At least I'm no longer dateless.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

Runescribe said:


> When I honestly had many of these traits I was not successful dating. When I became the reverse outwardly - I was no longer dateless. When I was the bad guy on the outside long enough, ......
> At least I'm no longer dateless.


So are you typing that as INFJ then?


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## Luke (Oct 17, 2010)

OrangeAppled said:


> There are many threads where people list the MBTI types they feel would be an ideal match for them....however, in this thread, let's do the opposite.
> 
> *Describe your ideal romantic match, and then let others determine what type(s) such a person sounds like (both MBTI & enneagram).*
> 
> ...


Maybe ENFJ?

The J part would make them good at leadership and organisation.

The NF part would make them have high ideals. 

The E would make them expressive.

Then the intelligent and cultured aspect would be luck of the draw I guess


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

^ Yeah, I always think it sounds like an ENFJ also....maybe e3w4. 

The thing is, I just got out of a relationship with an INFJ e3w4; but he was lacking some of those key qualities (like being a responsible adult who works & doesn't mooch of his parents like a bum :dry.

Okay, list _yours_ :wink:


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## Luke (Oct 17, 2010)

Well your ideal guy sounds overall impressive. A good mix of being liberal minded but also organised and efficient.

Some of the traits I like:

Someone socially aware. No prejudices.

Left wing political values. I don't mind if they are extreme left 

Eccentric would be a plus. Someone who doesn't mind living a non-conventional life.

Intellectual

Non judgmental. Especially when it comes to me. At the moment I can't live up to normal social expectations so I need someone who will be patient with me while I work hard to reach my goals.

I would like if she could introduce me to new things, particularly cultural things.

Someone who will allow me to have space and independence, but is also affectionate.


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## ProfessorLiver (Mar 19, 2011)

Someone honest, easy-going, can keep up with me physically, at least a little above-average, doesn't care much about what I say, doesn't mind my friends, realizes I go through mood swings, doesn't mind my addiction, is open-minded, a little cynical, has some problems, is hard to get a definite read on, respects me. About it.


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## DiamondCloud (Aug 20, 2011)

@OrangeAppled, your guy sounds awesome... I want one!


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

@Luke
I'd think any of the following:
enneagram: 4w5, 4w3, 5w4, 7w6, 9w8
exFP 4w3, 7w6
IxFP 4w5, 4w3, 5w4, 9w8
IxTP 5w4, 9w8

Could be a J who is more easy-going, patient, and okay with less structure in life. I get a P vibe from this though. 


@MisterLiver
I'm leaning towards almost any introvert or some exxPs, but could be many types.
enneagram: 4, 6, 7, 9


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## GoodOldDreamer (Sep 8, 2011)

I've been trying to come up with an ideal woman for me, but when it comes down to it, this is what I look for most in a SO:

-Accepts me for me, flaws and all, and loves me regardless.
-Genuine, honest, compassionate, and kind.

Really, that's all I'm looking for that really matters. I can work with the rest, but these qualities are pretty much either in someone, or they're not. And since I'm an INFJ, well... good luck on me finding anyone who'll take the time to get to know me, in order to be accepting of me. P I can usually tell fairly quickly after meeting someone if they're genuine and kind or not, but it takes some effort on their part to know me to know if they'll be accepting or not.

And man, oh man, does it ever suck when they don't accept me, especially after spending all the time with them. (

Edit/Addition: I don't know what type would fit, or what type would be best for me. An NT would be good for bring the rationale into the relationship, but an NF would provide and understand more of the affection I want to both receive and give. The only thing I can really say for certain is that I'd benefit more from an E than an I. I'm way too introverted on my own as it is. The only way another introvert would probably work well is if she was just barely introvert (and possibly very extroverted in her T or F).


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## Runvardh (May 17, 2011)

OrangeAppled said:


> There are many threads where people list the MBTI types they feel would be an ideal match for them....however, in this thread, let's do the opposite.
> 
> *Describe your ideal romantic match, and then let others determine what type(s) such a person sounds like (both MBTI & enneagram).*
> 
> ...


A mature and healthy INFJ comes closest to this on first read through.


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## Runvardh (May 17, 2011)

- someone I can bring camping (no running water, no electricity, more than an hour from the nearest store) and to anime conventions
- honest, loyal, caring, communicative
- medium curves in all the right places, raven black hair, green eyes, facial features right between angled and rounded
- can walk a mile in the right shoes without complaining
- knows what the right shoes are and will wear them
- understands the concept of dressing for the weather and actually does it - without drama
- will not bash my interest in science or spirituality; not looking to convert me
- capable and willing to have a minimum 5000 word English vocabulary (if we're using English as our common language), if only to be able to understand what I say and not be intimidated by it.
- desiring of sex three times per week, minimum 24 hours of time together over a two week period*, a cuddle fiend
- willing to allow me minimum 24 hours per two week period for "quiet time"*, 24 hours per two week period for my friends or hobbies*
- willing to have kids, whether birthing them or adopting them (1-2 optimum, I'd like to avoid the Brady Bunch)
- can game with me (video games, table top, board games)
- has a modicum of control over her spending habits to at least get the needed things paid for first, before the wants or the fun things
- can handle some scheduling, but not hobbled without it
- prefers education over restriction

* all three with asterisk have the potential to be done together, contributing to all three needs at the same time or a mix of two, depending on the situation. Adjustments for kids will be needed and can be done based on their needs.

I hope it goes without saying that this is the ideal I have come up with and not the minimum requirements for someone I'd still consider "amazing". 

Good luck...

Edit: the asterisk stuff also is not including time spent working or sleeping.
I also missed a few:
- knows or is willing to learn basic firearm handling: use of the safety, proper carrying, loading, unloading, trigger discipline.
- basic chemical safety knowledge
- half decent ability with a weapon and able to improvise


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

@Runvardh
I'm going to say a xxTP

enneagram - 5, 6, 7, 9

Sounds like an ENTP 7w6 I know.


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## Runvardh (May 17, 2011)

OrangeAppled said:


> @Runvardh
> I'm going to say a xxTP
> 
> enneagram - 5, 6, 7, 9
> ...


I was wondering about the TP after I wrote it; I suck at judging Enneagram, though. 

I'm just pessimistic enough, though, that if a girl like that existed close enough to me, and actually wanted me, I'd get run over by a bus soon after meeting her.


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

I like a girl who's:


Affectionate, caring
Spontaneous and charming
Willing to explore opportunity
Vocal so I have the chance to be
Humanly flawed, so I can help her
Embarrasses me with at least occasional public displays of affection
Someone with a high level of identity
Open-ended
Soulful and intense in terms of emotions, just like I am
Persistent with getting to know me, it can be hard sometimes, but I will love you forever if you do that.
Someone with her own faults, not perfect, but a mentally healthy person all around
Must love hugs
Intelligent, but not belligerent
Everyone knows what MBTI type I'm talking about... :wink:


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

@Torai

ENFP or ESFP, maybe some ExFJs who are less structured
enneagram: 2w3, 3w2, 4w3, 7w6


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## DiamondCloud (Aug 20, 2011)

Runvardh said:


> I was wondering about the TP after I wrote it; I suck at judging Enneagram, though.
> 
> I'm just pessimistic enough, though, that if a girl like that existed close enough to me, and actually wanted me, I'd get run over by a bus soon after meeting her.


If you exist, then your match exists too. You deserve it. Keep the faith.


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## Runvardh (May 17, 2011)

OrangeAppled said:


> @Torai
> 
> ENFP or ESFP, maybe some ExFJs who are less structured
> enneagram: 2w3, 3w2, 4w3, 7w6


Yeah, I'd agree there. ExFP with some structure, or a 'softer' ExFJ. I'd say a certain amount of maturity and self-confidence in all four cases would produce this.




DiamondCloud said:


> If you exist, then your match exists too. You deserve it. Keep the faith.


 I guess it's less about the existence, or being deserving and more looking at the way my luck as been all my life. If I were truly superstitious, just thinking of these traits together would now require me to accumulate a serious amount of good karma just to ensure I don't lose my job or something. LOL


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## Runvardh (May 17, 2011)

Luke said:


> Well your ideal guy sounds overall impressive. A good mix of being liberal minded but also organised and efficient.
> 
> Some of the traits I like:
> 
> ...


A more mature and non-religious sort of FP, I'd say.





MisterLiver said:


> Someone honest, easy-going, can keep up with me physically, at least a little above-average, doesn't care much about what I say, doesn't mind my friends, realizes I go through mood swings, doesn't mind my addiction, is open-minded, a little cynical, has some problems, is hard to get a definite read on, respects me. About it.


SP comes to mind first, but NPs also can get this way. More T than F, but not to an extreme. If N, then they'd more likely need to be an E, where as S could be either I or E.





GoodOldDreamer said:


> I've been trying to come up with an ideal woman for me, but when it comes down to it, this is what I look for most in a SO:
> 
> -Accepts me for me, flaws and all, and loves me regardless.
> -Genuine, honest, compassionate, and kind.
> ...


An NFP who has their shit together or an NFJ who has relaxed a little. Most mature NTs and SFs should be able to do this - honestly past a certain age there's not enough info to type from.


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

OrangeAppled said:


> ENFP or ESFP, maybe some ExFJs who are less structured
> enneagram: 2w3, 3w2, 4w3, 7w6





Runvardh said:


> Yeah, I'd agree there. ExFP with some structure, or a 'softer' ExFJ. I'd say a certain amount of maturity and self-confidence in all four cases would produce this.


I think I was going for ENFP 4w3. Maybe I should make the N more obvious... ESFP women might not be a bad idea, but they might be a little too realistic for my taste. I want an ENFP who's structured enough to not be commitment-phobic. I've heard EP's are like that, but I honestly can't be sure. Never analyzed an EP's relationship habits.

I could totally handle an ENFJ, even if they're not soft. I just don't want someone who's got the same cognitive functions as I do. Sounds boring. ESFJ seems too much in terms of structure... I don't want to be treated like the helpless infant in the relationship just because I'm not organized in the way they are.


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## Cerebro (Jul 30, 2011)

Runvardh said:


> ENFP, off the top of my head.


Yeah, I felt that was the case. Will balance me out in most ways, yet still hold their values close to them. Thanks for the typing!


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## Runvardh (May 17, 2011)

Cerebro said:


> Yeah, I felt that was the case. Will balance me out in most ways, yet still hold their values close to them. Thanks for the typing!


It's fun to think about, but don't give it too much weight.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

Cerebro said:


> I would only type this description as God.
> 
> You want *sensitivity, yet a take-charge attitude*. You want someone who is *organized and judicious, yet* someone who is also very *spontaneous and adventurous*. I truly don't believe this person could ever exist. If you want to find his type, you need to see what you can live without, for that shows a lot about you, as well, and your ideal match would be so much easier to find.


I've met people like this, so I don't see them as contradictory qualities. Maybe you're imaging two extremes co-existing; I'm imaging _balance_.

A list of qualities in your ideal does not mean real requirements for a relationship....that's why it's called an "ideal".



> The truth is, we always have this "ideal" in mind, but never does it come true, and if it does, it does not last. It's an illusion, a delusion. For example: a good, clean boy-next-door, but also a bit of a wild boy - no such thing exists. And if it does, he has neither trait strongly. Everything is give and take. Usually what you want is so different from what you need. If we are to discuss our ideal partners, we need to be more vague, and more realistic as well. You can't have your cake and eat it, too.


uh huh....guess you missed this part:



orangeappled said:


> And no doubt our ideals may not turn out so ideal in reality, or an unexpected type may fit them, but this is just a game, ooookay?


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## Cerebro (Jul 30, 2011)

OrangeAppled said:


> I've met people like this, so I don't see them as contradictory qualities. Maybe you're imaging two extremes co-existing; I'm imaging _balance_.
> 
> A list of qualities in your ideal does not mean real requirements for a relationship....that's why it's called an "ideal".
> 
> ...


I didn't mean what I said as condescension. I just see SO many people have this ideal cloud people romantically. Too many people are disappointed. And such a "balance" probably means they're very "average". If someone average is all you really want, then that's perfectly fine. But wanting the best of both worlds comes at a cost, no doubt.

And I don't want you to feel the need to get defensive. None of what I said was intended to attack you personally, I only wanted to make this game more appropriate and, frankly, easier. If we have two much "balance", as you put it, typing the ideal match is SO hard. If we state the things that REALLY matter to us, typing will be so much easier. Two many "best of both worlds" will bring up that ever-so-butchered "balanced" theory of the MBTI dichotomies. So if we can pick between sensitive and tough, between organized spontaneous, things of that sort, typing will be more appropriate. I know we're not looking for it to be "easy", but if we list the qualities that are IMPORTANT, we can actually type one's ideal.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

Cerebro said:


> I didn't mean what I said as condescension. I just see SO many people have this ideal cloud people romantically. Too many people are disappointed. And such a "balance" probably means they're very "average". If someone average is all you really want, then that's perfectly fine. But wanting the best of both worlds comes at a cost, no doubt.
> 
> And I don't want you to feel the need to get defensive. None of what I said was intended to attack you personally, I only wanted to make this game more appropriate and, frankly, easier. If we have two much "balance", as you put it, typing the ideal match is SO hard. If we state the things that REALLY matter to us, typing will be so much easier. Two many "best of both worlds" will bring up that ever-so-butchered "balanced" theory of the MBTI dichotomies. So if we can pick between sensitive and tough, between organized spontaneous, things of that sort, typing will be more appropriate. I know we're not looking for it to be "easy", but if we list the qualities that are IMPORTANT, we can actually type one's ideal.


No one else seems to be having trouble typing these fictional, ideal people so far :wink:.......I think your points are irrelevant, seeing issues where there are none.


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## Cerebro (Jul 30, 2011)

OrangeAppled said:


> No one else seems to be having trouble typing these fictional, ideal people so far :wink:.......I think your points are irrelevant, seeing issues where there are none.


But seriously, INFJ or ENFJ. Compassionate and thoughtful, but not flighty. I can definitely see you with a fellow NF. Just keep in mind that these are J types, and aren't naturally spontaneous or adventurous. Your intuition is directed outwards, theirs inward. So you will look around for new exciting opportunities, while he will be thinking of everything good and bad that could come out of it. They will definitely go along with you on your adventures, make a great companion, and probably do all the planning, but you've got to drag them out of their fearful shell. If you make that effort, the reward will be amazing.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

Cerebro said:


> But seriously, INFJ or ENFJ. Compassionate and thoughtful, but not flighty. I can definitely see you with a fellow NF. Just keep in mind that these are J types, and aren't naturally spontaneous or adventurous. Your intuition is directed outwards, theirs inward. So you will look around for new exciting opportunities, while he will be thinking of everything good and bad that could come out of it. They will definitely go along with you on your adventures, make a great companion, and probably do all the planning, but you've got to drag them out of their fearful shell. If you make that effort, the reward will be amazing.


I just got out of a relationship with an INFJ. All I'll say right now is, spontaneity was not the problem.....but yes, I agree my ideal sounds like an xNFJ, and so does everyone else. I personally find NFJs more open to novelty than other Js, so there's something like a balance there.


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## Cerebro (Jul 30, 2011)

OrangeAppled said:


> I just got out of a relationship with an INFJ. All I'll say right now is, spontaneity was not the problem.....but yes, I agree my ideal sounds like an xNFJ, and so does everyone else. I personally find NFJs more open to novelty than other Js, so there's something like a balance there.


Definitely. XNFJ's are still judicious, and like to understand what they're getting into, but since they are NF's, they are still Idealists by nature, and feel life is nothing if you do not try to understand. Novelty is scary, but necessary to understand the human condition. I now see what you mean by balance.


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## Runvardh (May 17, 2011)

Cerebro said:


> But seriously, INFJ or ENFJ. Compassionate and thoughtful, but not flighty. I can definitely see you with a fellow NF. * Just keep in mind that these are J types, and aren't naturally spontaneous or adventurous.*


Maybe not often, but I've known a few who could be spontaneous when they wanted to be and were.


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## Cerebro (Jul 30, 2011)

Runvardh said:


> Maybe not often, but I've known a few who could be spontaneous when they wanted to be and were.


Oh, I don't doubt that. I guess my hyperbole came across as a black-or-white statement. Though I did say "not OFTEN", and that's what I meant. I can be spontaneous, but selectively so. When there's something that I REALLY gravitate towards, I can be spontaneous. But it's not natural, and it does not happen often. It does happen more often with ENFJ's than INFJ's. Still, not often, but occasionally. I meant what I said.


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## Ryosuke93 (Feb 29, 2012)

I am surrounded by sensors and so I am pretty comfortable with them. They make me feel grounded and stable. But I do feel misunderstood sometimes, even though I don't think i am very intuitive to begin with. I think my ideal type match, though would be an ISFP. 

I would like someone who can be gentle, kind, practical, but also a bit idealistic too. Practical and idealistic...I hope there can be such a balanced person. 

An ISFP who has developed his Ni a bit, might work, so that he can understand my intuitiveness. He would also provide deep insights that can enhance our lives too.

But I really don't know. As long as a person is mature, kind, and balanced, that would be ideal...no matter the type I guess.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

IluvHSJ said:


> I am surrounded by sensors and so I am pretty comfortable with them. They make me feel grounded and stable. But I do feel misunderstood sometimes, even though I don't think i am very intuitive to begin with. I think my ideal type match, though would be an ISFP.
> I would like someone who can be gentle, kind, practical, but also a bit idealistic too. Practical and idealistic...I hope there can be such a balanced person.
> An ISFP who has developed his Ni a bit, might work, so that he can understand my intuitiveness. He would also provide deep insights that can enhance our lives too.
> But I really don't know. As long as a person is mature, kind, and balanced, that would be ideal...no matter the type I guess.


personally I've noticed that Fe/Ti users tend to work better with other Fe/Ti users and Fi/Te users tend to work better with other Fi/Te users. this is not a hard pressed rule (I know a happily married INTJ and ENFJ couple on Type C, but that seems to be less common)

PS: for me, I'd say another xxFP of some sort would work best, though I've been attracted to 1-2 really kinky INTJs (they have a COMPLETELY different playful, silly, perverted side to them in sexual situations that most people don't see and I love it lol)


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## Ryosuke93 (Feb 29, 2012)

I agree that having friends and some family with Fe has been really beneficial to my life, I can relate to their feelings a lot and they can understand me a bit better too...but I don't know. I wouldn't want that person to have the same problems that Fe can bring to them as it sometimes has for me. I don't want someone who is super alike with me because it might be odd, like your dating yourself.... But I do think they need to be a feeler for sure.

I think it would be nice if my ideal match would be a type where we have feeling as the dominant function and then maybe share two other exactly the same functions...which is why I chose isfp. We share Se and Ni (even though it's in a different order). Means that we may be able to "see" the world in a similar way...though it may take some time. 

The more similarities... the more chance for harmony, which is what I would like in a relationship...but if we are exactly the same, then that might get boring. Maybe there wouldn't be much that we would add to each other's life. 

There would definitely be lots of understanding though. So it would be cool to meet another ENFJ, but probably as a friend...as a twin! haha.


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## Cerebro (Jul 30, 2011)

This idea of an "ideal match" makes me wonder: how do we define an ideal match?

Out of the five girls I have dated in my life, three of them were ISFPs, one was an ESFP, and one was an ISFJ. None of them worked out, clearly. The ESFP was way too sensitive (she thought I called her mom fat when I said "Your mom's pregnant? I thought she was just... big." granted we were in 7th grade, I lacked some social tact, and she broke up with me because of that), and now she's very promiscuous, so I don't really miss it. 
The ISFJ was very controlling, she was almost condescending. If I didn't go the right gesture in mass, or I didn't eat that bread "properly", she would point it out. She wanted me to be a little good boy who cared a great deal about customs, when that's just not that important to me. I don't care much for tradition, but she did so much there was a lot of pressure on me.
The THREE ISFPs let me in on a pattern - I'm attracted to ISFPs. But with all of them, it was a similar problem - we had nothing to talk about. They did not want to philosophize or talk about ideas. And they never started conversations. It was always... dull. And a huge problem was that I felt idolized. It didn't seem mutual. And I know they liked me a lot, so when I broke up with them (only two of them, one of them was long-distance and the breakup was surprisingly mutual), they cried, they were heartbroken. But I don't know why. They were cool girls, but we just weren't compatible. Simple as that.

I want someone who is compatible with me. I want to be able to talk fluidly. I don't want to always have to start conversations with someone, I want to be able to be the listener, which I much prefer. But I also want to be heard. The problem with the ISFPs was that I would have to start the conversation, usually by asking them questions, and they would never reciprocate, so it was unnaturally draining. Someone who's deep and creative would be the ideal I chase after.
I want someone who's more spontaneous, more outgoing than I am. I'm a hermit, I want someone who will let me stay in my shell when I need to, but will also get me to live a little. Someone who's fun, yet still deep.
I want someone who's accepting. Who will not try to change me, unless she's trying to help me in ridding myself of a self-destructive behaviour. If she wants to help me grow, that's great. But if she just wants me to be more like her, I can't stand that.
I want someone who is not selfish. This is probably my biggest concern. In our generation, in the world of Blackberry's and religious skepticism, everyone seems to be so self-absorbed. Only concerned with themselves, and concerned with others only insofar as they receive from them. Nobody's willing to give, but everyone wants to take. It sickens me. I want someone who will think of me as much as I think of her. I want her to tell me how her day was, and what's on her mind, but also to ask me the same. I want the interest and the demonstration to be mutual in many ways. Different, yet mutual.

So, I have two questions, and if I could get some insight on this, it would be greatly appreciated.
Firstly: Of the description I gave (I know it may be kind of vague), which MBTI type do you think I'm describing? Which type would be my soul mate, the one I long for?
Secondly: Is selfishness only a matter of character (unrelated to type), or temperament (i.e. type)?

Sorry if what I've written seems... messy. English is my first language, and I usually am more eloquent.


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## Ryosuke93 (Feb 29, 2012)

@Cerebro

Personalitypage.com is a website says that an ENFP or ENTP is an INFJ's natural partner. This is my favorite website to learn about the different types, it has a profile page, a relationship page, a career page, and a personal growth page. It has been very useful to me.


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## Ryosuke93 (Feb 29, 2012)

@Cerebro 
ENFP Relationships

Here is a link to the ENFP in relationships.


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## Cerebro (Jul 30, 2011)

IluvHSJ said:


> @Cerebro
> 
> Personalitypage.com is a website says that an ENFP or ENTP is an INFJ's natural partner. This is my favorite website to learn about the different types, it has a profile page, a relationship page, a career page, and a personal growth page. It has been very useful to me.


I remember this page.  I shall look more into it, thank you so much for the guidance. I do think ENXPs would be my ideal match, just haven't met too many.
I understand what you were saying about similarities/differences. Too much difference, and conflict may arise. Too much similarity, and romance would be dull, as you'd already know that person too well. Compatibility, I think, is the line between similarity and complementarity. All these dating sites try to match you up with someone you're very similar with, but while it's great on some dimensions, there must be some differences. Otherwise, the journey into their soul will be worth nothing, will have no incentive.

And I can see your affection for the ISFP makes sense for the same reason. Your Fe complemented by an ISFPs Fi, and my Ni complemented by her Ne. This is a very interesting take of typological compatibility, seems solid. I read from the works of Dr. Keirsey that the INFJs best match would be an ENTP or ESTP would be my best match, but I think it would be (objectively) an ENFP for my ideal match. (And I see you posted the link to ENFPs in relationships, rather than ENTPs.)

Have you had good experiences with ISFPs to speak of? Or are you just drooling over ISFPs theoretically?


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## Ryosuke93 (Feb 29, 2012)

@Cerebro
Glad the website looks helpful. 

My experience with the isfp is completely fangirlish. He is a celebrity! haha. I was really attracted to his (who will be anonymous. lol) personality, but I wasn't exactly sure why. Then I came across the relationship page on that website and suddenly it all made sense. He fits isfp very well.

My mom (isfj) fell in love with my dad (esfp), even though they can seem like total opposites. The website showed that they are "natural partners." Suddenly it made sense as to why they may have fell in love in the first place and why they are lasting long, despite their differences. I was really surprised to see the connection made on that page! It may provide the reason with why I feel attracted to my celebrity crush (I'm weird, I know) and the connection between my parents too.


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## perfectcircle (Jan 5, 2011)

Ideal mate: Someone who I don't have to try to construct a persona with and when they see who I really am am still crazy about me; their acceptance will allow me to relax and have fun. Someone real. Someone smart but I don't mean book smart, I mean a real person smart, someone who is aware of their own bullshit and aware of others and understands the importance of tact, acceptance, tolerance, mercy, and kindness. Someone who makes me better. Someone who can take a fight standing and isn't phased by outbursts of temper, and someone who doesn't make me jealous or play on insecurities to make themselves feel superior. They don't have to be like me, but they have to like me. Trust and mutual well regard. Someone who will allow be to be involved in their life and help them in the ways I can. Someone physical. Someone who brings me out, and accepts me for who I am without having to make me more like them. Someone I laugh with.


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## Runvardh (May 17, 2011)

adverseaffects said:


> Ideal mate: Someone who I don't have to try to construct a persona with and when they see who I really am am still crazy about me; their acceptance will allow me to relax and have fun. Someone real. Someone smart but I don't mean book smart, I mean a real person smart, someone who is aware of their own bullshit and aware of others and understands the importance of tact, acceptance, tolerance, mercy, and kindness. Someone who makes me better. Someone who can take a fight standing and isn't phased by outbursts of temper, and someone who doesn't make me jealous or play on insecurities to make themselves feel superior. They don't have to be like me, but they have to like me. Trust and mutual well regard. Someone who will allow be to be involved in their life and help them in the ways I can. Someone physical. Someone who brings me out, and accepts me for who I am without having to make me more like them. Someone I laugh with.


Maybe when you're older and done with play time. I don't mean it remotely as condescending as it sounds.


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