# ISFJs - boring?



## squaretires

i'm an isfj and i find my type rather boring.....no means of offence to all yall. it just seems that there's no spark to me, like i'm just a little of everything and not interesting enough to function. if someone were to describe my personality, it's like there's nothing to say.


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## JennyJukes

Eh I can relate - in that I often feel like i'm boring and average - though doesn't necessarily mean I find individual ISFJs boring too. Occasionally I can get down when I see that others have a big talent or big goals. I can't draw, play a musical instrument, write, hell I can't even cook/bake (like the ISFJ stereotype). I don't have any big goals or ambitions outside of having a family (okay, so I fit that stereotype...) and I don't have an area of expertise. 

These sort of things make me feel that I'm just a plain jane. I'm basically the "pleasant" girl. People are _constantly _forgetting my name. But, I know I _do _have qualities that people _I_ envy wish they had. For example, my patience, ability to diffuse emotionally charged situations, understand how a person is feeling and deal with that with ease, remembering important things about a person etc. I have great connections and deep relationships and that's what's important to_ me. _I don't need to be amazing or popular to be happy in myself. I don't _need _the approval of anyone else, just those that matter.

Honestly, in the past I've brushed off people with the assumption they are boring/shallow/simple and then got to know them and found them to be wonderful people. I think this could be the case with ISFJs; we're mostly modest and reserved, withholding our true personality and uniqueness outwardly and keeping it for those we're comfortable with. And that's okay. Similarly, the people who we think are big hot-shots with unique talents and careers may feel insecure in many areas, they just seem more confident and expressive than we are. Everyone has their public and private persona _shrugs._


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## Tyche

I feel like a lot of people think ISxJ's are boring. I can even see why people think I'm boring. I think I'm actually pretty interesting. I have a unique perspective on things and look at things in a way others don't usually. I'm also pretty funny, though I'm more sarcastic and dry. People don't always know when I'm joking, so that probably makes them think I'm too serious. I am also pretty serious, especially at work. It makes me seem too formal and I guess I can be.


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## Daiz

I can't imagine finding myself boring?? I'm probably boring to everyone else but to me, I'm very interesting because I do and fill my life with things that interest me. I look at people who I find interesting and try to emulate them. Are you saying you don't do that?

I don't think being interesting is about having a special talent or unique trait/quirk. I think it really is just about taking an interest in life. Become an expert on a few things you life! Take up a hobby or two! It's all about engaging with the world around you. ISFJs should be very good at that.


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## Handsome Dyke

Daiz said:


> I look at people who I find interesting and try to emulate them. Are you saying you don't do that?


Does _anybody_ do that? That doesn't sound like a common thing.


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## Daiz

Jeux de Silence said:


> Does _anybody_ do that? That doesn't sound like a common thing.


I suspect there's some sort of misunderstanding here as I imagine everyone tries to take on the characteristics they admire in others to some degree. Why does this sound uncommon?


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## Handsome Dyke

Daiz said:


> I suspect there's some sort of misunderstanding here as I imagine everyone tries to take on the characteristics they admire in others to some degree. Why does this sound uncommon?


It sounded uncommon because you said "interesting" rather than admirable at first. I thought you meant that you tried to _be_ interesting by emulating people that you _found_ interesting. That's weird to me.


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## Daiz

Jeux de Silence said:


> It sounded uncommon because you said "interesting" rather than admirable at first. I thought you meant that you tried to _be_ interesting by emulating people that you _found_ interesting. That's weird to me.


But why? I do still do that too. I find people who I think are well-rounded (aka intelligent, talented, kind and interesting) and I try to do some of the things they're doing so that I may be closer to being well-rounded myself. 

Can you explain how it's weird to you?


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## Handsome Dyke

Daiz said:


> But why? I do still do that too. I find people who I think are well-rounded (aka intelligent, talented, kind and interesting) and I try to do some of the things they're doing so that I may be closer to being well-rounded myself.
> 
> Can you explain how it's weird to you?


You're using a different adjective again. Well-rounded is different than interesting. 

I think it's weird to emulate people to be interesting because a core part of being interesting is being yourself, otherwise, it's not really you who is being interesting: the potentially interesting emulated traits would just be an act.


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## SilentScream

*don't mind my tone, I'm actually not being angry or anything like that, but this kind of aggressive expression is just how I converse now sometimes. 

Ok, I'm finding this argument between Aux Fe and Inferior Fe really amusing. But I'm not gonna comment because it's a very different set of personalities either way. 

"Interesting" is such stupid word. I'm sorry. But what do you mean you're not "interesting". What does interesting mean .. to you .. to others .. do you know it all? 

This whole thing is just ... I dunno. Sometimes it annoys me in a weird sort of way. You have friends. You have people who like you. Right or wrong? You are doing a disservice to the people who like you and find you interesting by considering yourself uninteresting. 

I mean, unless you are completely and absolutely alone and no one in the entire universe has shown interest in you .. of course. I doubt that that's the case. Or maybe you just haven't met the right person yet. But I highly doubt that you're alone and friendless. 

If one of my friends sits there in front of me thinking that I'm thinking that they're uninteresting then that means I'm an idiot. And I'd rather not feel like that.

I'm not criticizing you btw. I'm trying to see this from a different perspective - from the perspective of the people who do hang out with you and appreciate you. 



> I don't have any big goals or ambitions outside of having a family (okay, so I fit that stereotype...) and I don't have an area of expertise.


Who said that wanting a family isn't a big ambition? And why do you think they're right? 

It is a life-long commitment and is extreme hard work. Anyone who thinks that wanting a family isn't being ambitious or isn't hard work is coming at it from the perspective of being an ungrateful and entitled child since they haven't actually tried to even think about how hard it was for their parents to raise them and all that it took. Again, I'm not criticizing you. 

I'm just trying to counter this societal narrative that is just plain wrong. 

Though I do think that at this stage in western civilization this whole concept of "family first" has been dealt a terrible hand by stupid liberation movements that have created an army of unhappy men and women because apparently "having a family" is "boring" which then gets internalized by young people because .. I mean, if you're hitting youngsters with a barrage of nonsense about how being career mindedness is more valuable than being family oriented .. you're going to have a lot of individuals really, really upset. 

It's like these morons spent the last few decades making it look like it's great to be a career minded woman by constantly shitting on family oriented women. Of course it's going to make it seem like this is "uninteresting". No it's not uninteresting. What's wrong is convincing people that it is uninteresting. 

Yeah. Real smart. Society is full of idiots making sure everyone in the world is somehow constantly unhappy because "being something" is not as good as "being something else".


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## zgj

My boyfriend is ISFJ so I may be biased in saying I don't find ISFJ's to be boring at all. He has a really great and quirky sense of humor, lots of little talents and skills, and the biggest heart I've ever seen. He can usually be convinced to go out and have fun and has a great time once he's out. Also I don't know about any other ISFJ's but keeping him out of trouble when he tries to go on one of his social crusades when he sees some kind of injustice is a full time job lol. So in my opinion not boring at all plus coming from another SJ I see all those 'boring' traits as stability which is a must have in my mind


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## Potatooesunshinerays

Look at yourself to define who you are before you look at a goddamn generalized description written by some ****** that probably never got laid in his lifetime


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## Kommandant

Completely agree with the Person above.
Descripions of my type (INTP) usually sound very exciting like we are the smartest god tier people on the planet but thats because my type and some others (ENTP, INTJ, INFJ, INFP etc.) are "overhyped" on the internet. Not saying every Mbti descripion is garbage and nothing is to be taken seriously but you can find a lot of clearly overhyped and/or overstereotyped Mbti descripions online.

About the talents... very relatable to me, i feel quite talentless but that has nothing to do with my/your Mbti.


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## Aluminum Frost

They're easy and fun to talk to imo and just overall chill. They can be fun, they're not gonna be the life of the party but I like that about them. This applies to ISTJs too but ISFJs are more charismatic.


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## Aluminum Frost

Potatooesunshinerays said:


> Look at yourself to define who you are before you look at a goddamn generalized description written by some ****** that probably never got laid in his lifetime


#Roasted :laughing:


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## Potatooesunshinerays

Aluminum Frost said:


> #Roasted :laughing:


Fuck yeah


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## LeSangDeCentAns

Potatooesunshinerays said:


> Look at yourself to define who you are before you look at a goddamn generalized description written by some ****** that probably never got laid in his lifetime


Talk about MBTI stereotypes not applying.


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## ENFPurpleKitti

Reap said:


> I don't have any big goals or ambitions *outside of* having a family (okay, so I fit that stereotype...) and I don't have an area of expertise.
> 
> 
> 
> Who said that wanting a family isn't a big ambition? And why do you think they're right?
Click to expand...

Well... JJ sure didn't say it. XD

Okay but anyway, I think people can tend to get self-conscious about how they appear to others, including how "interesting" they are, but this really is just an illusion. Whether or not you're "interesting" is purely subjective. If someone thinks you're uninteresting it's because they have a shallow understanding of you. It's not because you're doing anything wrong.


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## SilentScream

PurpleKitti said:


> Well... JJ sure didn't say it. XD
> 
> Okay but anyway, I think people can tend to get self-conscious about how they appear to others, including how "interesting" they are, but this really is just an illusion. Whether or not you're "interesting" is purely subjective. If someone thinks you're uninteresting it's because they have a shallow understanding of you. It's not because you're doing anything wrong.


Context of the post made me think that. 

Agreed on the rest.


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## SirCanSir

MBTI close mindness aside, my ex was an ISFJ and was the warmest person i ve ever met. What if she made a decision based on feelings? She valued relationships and the ones close to her more than everyone and she showed that in every possible way: 
(going out- cared if everyone was having fun and would contribute until she felt everything was ok) 
(supporting- everyone went to her for support when in bad times)
(she was open to ideas, never arrogant and oppressive- she shared my emotions when i was happy, enthusiastic or stressed)
(she cared to see my efforts succed way too much for the average girlfrend)
(she was passonate in sex- irrelevant but i have to say it)
(She lived her life by sharing passions of others, mainly but also some of hers (trips and travels), because what she loved the most was to see everyone happy,pleased and full of life) 

These are some of the things that made me value ISFJs a lot, even now that we arent together.
So dont tell me your kind is boring, because its still irreplaceble when it comes to people connections and relationships because you have the ability feel the bright side of humanity.


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## Glenda Gnome Starr

squaretires said:


> i'm an isfj and i find my type rather boring.....no means of offence to all yall. it just seems that there's no spark to me, like i'm just a little of everything and not interesting enough to function. if someone were to describe my personality, it's like there's nothing to say.


I find myself to be boring, too.
I think that, because we have to live with ourselves 24 hours a day, with the only break being sleep, we eventually become tired of ourselves. Other people really don't see us in that way.
So... no... I don't think that ISFJs are boring people.
I have a few ISFJ friends and I find them to be kind, warm, and generous. They are truly focused on other people and to be able to think of others first is a true gift.
I hope that you can celebrate being you.
Hugs from an esfp.


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## orion83uk

I have a few friends who are ISFJ.

One of them works in air traffic control, regularly explorers cities/countries he's never previously been too, and (in terms of things in common with me) is right into cars and computers.

Another does aerial acrobatics, enjoys geocaching in all sorts of places, has a PhD and always has some random new hair style.

So if that sounds boring to you...


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## Shale

I see more insecurity at play here than typology. ISFJs are not boring. If you think you are boring, then you are defining yourself ... who is to blame for that? I think anyone can get stuck in a rut, find something that challenges you and takes you outside of your comfort zone.

I don't have much of a filter anymore, people like my odd humor ... or don't, I don't really care. All you can be is yourself, everything else will fall into place. Just remember you can only live up to your own expectations.


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## Pure_White

It's depend on types and personalities. A types could feel boring with some other types, due to their nature.

Example: (Socionics) For INTJ, their Fe and Si are both weak and unvalued. I't mean they dont know how to use Fe or Si and have no interest on improving it (It's different from Fi and Se, INTJ may be weak at those function but still have the will to improve it). So most INTJ don't find interest in SFJ types, especially ESFJ. And most SFJ see INTJ as some weird person who can't follow social norm.

Many SFJs seem dont like me or see me as an alien, it's hard to make them see the differences between us: "Why you look so sad?", "why wont you talk to anyone", "why are you so selfish and dont care about anyone, any thing", "you have some mental illness?". And all I did was just sitting there and thinking of something. I's so sad T_T


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## wums

I honestly do think ISFJs, on average, are a bit boring, they are predictable, traditional, and tend to be very "normal." But the tradeoff is that they are extremely, incredibly dependable, extremely consistent, and that is a hugely valuable trait to have. Interesting, unique people are also usually unreliable and flaky. It's different strengths and different weaknesses, there's no point resenting your weaknesses when you can be proud of your strengths.


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## mightyoak

My mom is an ISFJ and is one of the most amazing people I know. I don't know what I would do without our daily talks. She has a heart of gold, is quite a good artist, and in her 60's still has friends from decades ago that keep in touch with her regularly. Despite some physical limitations, you will rarely hear her complain. She will want to know everything about you (in a genuine, curious) way, and will never, ever, forget your birthday. Here's one example of her enormous heart (without going in to too much detail)...
Many years ago, she read a human interest piece in the local newspaper that stirred her. It had to do with an older man (I think he was in his 80's) who had lost his son a while back and before he died, he only wanted one thing. My mom was so moved by his story that she got in touch with people from the paper, made many many phones calls, got in touch with this gentleman and got the ball rolling. Eventually, she was able to make this thing happen for him, and he was just some stranger. The smile on his face was everything. She has touched many people's lives just by being herself, and I don't think there's a single one of them that would call her boring.


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## Bunniculla

squaretires said:


> i'm an isfj and i find my type rather boring.....no means of offence to all yall. it just seems that there's no spark to me, like i'm just a little of everything and not interesting enough to function. if someone were to describe my personality, it's like there's nothing to say.


I guess boring in this case would be the conventional usage of it, but I wouldn't use that word to describe ISFJs or any type actually. Different folks, different strokes ya know? 

I would rather think enjoyable vs. non-enjoyable is better to describe certain people specifically. Anyway, the ISFJs I know would not be described as eccentric, sporadic or "out there" if that is what you are referring to, but that's perfectly fine, as having those traits are not automatically equivalent to being enjoyable to be around with.


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## Ele30

Daiz said:


> I can't imagine finding myself boring?? I'm probably boring to everyone else but to me, I'm very interesting because I do and fill my life with things that interest me. I look at people who I find interesting and try to emulate them. Are you saying you don't do that?
> 
> I don't think being interesting is about having a special talent or unique trait/quirk. I think it really is just about taking an interest in life. Become an expert on a few things you life! Take up a hobby or two! It's all about engaging with the world around you. ISFJs should be very good at that.


Yeah I'm an ENFP but I think that anyone can be unique if they just follow their path in life. Everyone is unique and if you don't feel so maybe you just need to dive deeper into yourself


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## Convex

yeah they're hella boring, cya idiots


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## Scoobyscoob

No, every ISFJ I know is perfectly fine and is entertaining when one wants to be.


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## Shale

Boring is a matter of perspective. They do not entertain you? Are they at least entertaining themselves? lol Perhaps the problem is YOU and not the other people. Stop projecting your issues onto others, and figure out yourself.

I train in MMA, working on my green belt (past midway point). I love fighting, I love grappling, I love the comradere with my peers. I love the non PC chats we have. Also, teaching those researching their genealogy about pre-1918 and post-1918 European geographical boundaries. Now that shit is fascinating! I could talk your ears off for hours. I also do genetic genealogy, volunteering to help people find their father or parents. 

If that is boring to you, I really don't care.


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## Morbidworld

Nope. 

One of my closest friends are an ISFJ. Incredibly warmhearted, considerate, easygoing, attentive, loyal and actually really authentic - you just have to give them some time to open up (my friend is as private as I am). In comparison to me, my ISFJ friend seems graceful, with lots of tact. The only thing that bothers me from time to time with dom/aux Fe, is the fact that they can be passive-aggressive when they're upset and have a hard time letting go of some things, but I just probe some and find it really works being straightforward with them and show them that I'm here if they need to talk. My ISFj friend seems to appreciate it, but my ESFJ familymember usually wallows in self-pity for the longest time and it's extremely irritating.

Just give the ISFJ room to be themselves. They're always there to support family and friends when they're in need of it. I think it's important not to take ISFJ's for granted. My ISFJ buddy has told me that he feels comfortable around me and is the most honest and unfiltered version of himself and that's just awesome!


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## Pippi

orion83uk said:


> I have a few friends who are ISFJ.
> 
> One of them works in air traffic control, regularly explorers cities/countries he's never previously been too, and (in terms of things in common with me) is right into cars and computers.
> 
> Another does aerial acrobatics, enjoys geocaching in all sorts of places, has a PhD and always has some random new hair style.
> 
> So if that sounds boring to you...


There you go! If it weren't for "boring", focused people, who would there be to develop all the cool things in life that dilettantes like me take advantage of?


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## mokad

there's some sort of misunderstanding


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## Logic machine

Yes they're boring sometimes, and can be annoying, but i like them.


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## bigd

No, I think this type of stuff depends on the person not the type


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## 543452

People only associate boredom to Si because Si values navigating through the present with what is perceived from the subject's past experiences. This can make ISXJs and ESXJs cautious, but boring, no. Theoretically, I would call INXJs the most boring because of Se-inferior. INXJs can project, but they struggle to act on their own projections. Metaphorically, they're the owls that see the hunt, but never do the hunt. Add this with the fact that the average INXJ won't partake in experiences that they judge as having nothing to do with their projections. They call experiences that are deemed fun by their Se-dominant inversions wasteful and meaningless. This initial rejection of Se creates a very linear path devoid of detours.


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## cosmoetic

Blame the poor SJ descriptions. The SJ descriptions just don't sound interesting compared to the other temperaments. The SJ descriptions, most likely were written by intuitive types, not SJs themselves.

Add introversion into the mix and you get someone who isn't so inclined to act all wild and crazy. Some people wrongly think that if you're not all wild and crazy, you're not very fun.

I think just the sheer commonality of this type, makes it somehow less interesting. Change the S to N, and suddenly you've got a rare personality type that's highly sought after.


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## Tripwire_Desire

Predictablility is a boredom factor in and of itself to most; it's a slice of Heaven on Earth for most, if not all, ISFJs. It really depends on how people have treated you up until this point in life. Nature vs nurture has a lot to do with the development of ISFJs. You either age like wine or you sour like milk. I may not have much to talk about, but I am a task oriented person. I don't like fluff. And I sure as hell despise bullshit. If I like you, I'll go out of my way to be cordial with you. If I dislike you, I'll avoid your ass like the plague. Like I said, predictablility is a boredom factor in and of itself.


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## ESFJMouse

One of the most amazing women I knew growing up was a modest ISFJ 1w2. Yes, of course externally she appeared to be a motherly type, but she had such strong convictions, was so kind and cared so much for her family. Whatever people will say, families and communities need beautiful people like this. She was deep, thoughtful. Her priority was always others, and herself last.


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