# Possible explanations for why someone constantly looks at their reflection?



## jamaix (Sep 20, 2013)

I am curious as to thoughts on possible reasons someone might regularly/routinely watch their reflection when they're talking to people instead of looking at the one they're speaking to? (seems to happen anytime there is something that will reflect their image in front of them - mirror, window, shiny metal, etc.)

This person is a fairly regular part of my life and I'm trying to understand/consider some possible reasons why they do this. It is somewhat distracting when conversing with them as I am always aware that they are watching themselves when there is anything in front them that they can see their reflection in. It is extremely obvious that they are watching them self rather than looking at the one they're talking to. They seem to lack awareness that they are doing this. I know they don't have trouble making eye contact otherwise though, because when there is nothing they can see themself in they do make eye contact.

I have wondered is this possibly due to insecurity? A need to make sure they are presenting them self well? This person is not shy or introverted. In fact they seem fairly confident of them self most of the time? In general they don't seem overly concerned with things like clothes, fashion, etc. The behavior puzzles me and I want to understand why they do this. I realize that all anyone can do is speculate, but I am interested in hearing speculative thoughts and reasons why someone might exhibit this behavior?

Thoughts?


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

Idk.

Could it be that they are so focused on what they are saying and thinking, that they aren't noticing their body language? I think sometimes people will look away from the person they are talking to in order to focus on their words, if they are explaining something complicated.

Maybe they are looking away, but the movement from their reflection draws their eyes and then they just glaze over while they're talking about the subject.

I've never met anyone like this though so idk.


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## Eren Jaegerbomb (Nov 13, 2015)

Maybe they are insecure like you mentioned, and are trying to look good for good impressions. Or maybe they're amused by their expressions or appearance.

Have you ever tried asking why they do this?


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## jamaix (Sep 20, 2013)

MeltedSorbet said:


> Idk.
> 
> Could it be that they are so focused on what they are saying and thinking, that they aren't noticing their body language? I think sometimes people will look away from the person they are talking to in order to focus on their words, if they are explaining something complicated.


 They only do this when there is something within eyesight that they can see their image in. They are not a person who has troubles making eye contact, so long as there is nothing mirror like around. It's not just an occasional glance either, it is like they are literally talking to their own image.

* *







> Maybe they are looking away, but the movement from their reflection draws their eyes and then they just glaze over while they're talking about the subject.


 Definitely more than a glance. I know most of us will find ourselves occasionally glancing to see if our hair looks okay, collar adjusted, etc. but it is much more than this, it is though they are fixated on looking at their reflection.



> I've never met anyone like this though so idk.


 Me neither, that is why it has puzzled me so much. Most will take an occasional look, or sometimes avoid eye contact, but I've never met anyone who seems locked in to this degree on their reflection.

I know it is hard to figure this out with information I've supplied, but I find it so puzzling/confusing and thought maybe another had encountered someone who did this and could possibly shed some light.

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts!






Creator 22 said:


> Maybe they are insecure like you mentioned, and are trying to look good for good impressions. Or maybe they're amused by their expressions or appearance.


 I have contemplated the possibility that they may be inwardly quite insecure even though they manage to project an air of confidence. 

* *







> Have you ever tried asking why they do this?


 I would love to know why they do this, I think it would help me understand them better, which I want to do. But, I can't ask them the stakes are too high, and I don't want to risk alienating or offending them. They are likely (hopefully) going to be a part of my family's life for a very long time and I don't want to do anything to cause awkwardness. They don't seem to be aware that they are doing this.

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts!


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## Electra (Oct 24, 2014)

-They could be trying to look away to consentrate better or get rid of too many sensory impressions
-They could be looking in the mirror because _narcississus_ is there ifyouknowwhatImeen
-They could be looking in the reflection to practice their communication with others or out of curiousity
-They could be looking in the reflection because they have a problem looking at you or want to bother you or disrespect you
so much that they don't even bother looking at you while they speak
-They could be looking at their reflection because they are shy to look at you
-Because of a severe lack of social skills or ability to manage social skills?


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## futurepilot37 (Dec 26, 2018)

Narcissistic?


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

@*jamaix*

Yeah--I've seen children do this kind of thing, and I think animals sometimes focus on mirrors. But I think that's because they are still learning about them and they might be kind of confused/entertained by them.

I've never seen an adult do that though (and honestly the children aren't having a conversation--just looking at themselves make different expressions in the mirror).

Maybe he doesn't have any mirrors at home? It does seem odd though--I don't think that is the reason.

I do admit though that not having a lot of experience with video chat, when I did do video chat (I've maybe done it like twice) I would get really distracted by the image of myself--I wasn't constantly watching it but it would distract me just because it was so unusual to see myself talking and making expressions. So I would have to concentrate on focusing and remembering what I was talking about, since it was so weird.


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## series0 (Feb 18, 2013)

jamaix said:


> I am curious as to thoughts on possible reasons someone might regularly/routinely watch their reflection when they're talking to people instead of looking at the one they're speaking to? (seems to happen anytime there is something that will reflect their image in front of them - mirror, window, shiny metal, etc.)


This is a well known trait of vanity in general. The adoration of the self, pride in beauty and goodness, is often a transactional from of desire. It is an image conscious reflection back at the self. Such a person is also likely to be somewhat sacrificing, even unto a perverse pride in martyrdom type arrangements. But as mentioned this pride in the good is not actually good. It is transactional and thus manipulative. I am extrapolating a whole lot based on that one iota of data. But the exemplars of that behavior I know are all enneatype 2, or at least that on the desire type.



jamaix said:


> This person is a fairly regular part of my life and I'm trying to understand/consider some possible reasons why they do this. It is somewhat distracting when conversing with them as I am always aware that they are watching themselves when there is anything in front them that they can see their reflection in. It is extremely obvious that they are watching them self rather than looking at the one they're talking to. They seem to lack awareness that they are doing this. I know they don't have trouble making eye contact otherwise though, because when there is nothing they can see themself in they do make eye contact.


Enneatype 2 is warm and sensual. They feel warm when you look at their eyes. They can be very touchy as well. Often they cling too long with personal contact. It is an affectation.

The 2 typically feels a strong pride in their sacrificial nature. They devote themselves to someone or something else in orderly fashion and they have the intense feeling that they know better what is good for that person or organization than the person or org does for themselves which is how they justify the manipulation.

Their pride in their own sacrifice becomes a source for feelings of entitlement.



jamaix said:


> I have wondered is this possibly due to insecurity?


All order types are insecure in some way. The 2 gains its worthiness by submission to the other. Either a person or organization. In such a way they overcome their shame at worthlessness, an inner issue they face.



jamaix said:


> A need to make sure they are presenting them self well? This person is not shy or introverted. In fact they seem fairly confident of them self most of the time? In general they don't seem overly concerned with things like clothes, fashion, etc.


Although the 2 can be image conscious (because it is adjacent 3) this is not their main concern. They are usually extroverted although their expended energy usually is tied to what they are submitting to. Many little old church ladies are this type and if it gives you any clue into the type, so are many whores. 



jamaix said:


> The behavior puzzles me and I want to understand why they do this. I realize that all anyone can do is speculate, but I am interested in hearing speculative thoughts and reasons why someone might exhibit this behavior?
> 
> Thoughts?


What do you think of that analysis?


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## Dalien (Jul 21, 2010)

What kind of life did this person have before entering your life?
Was it supportive?


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## jamaix (Sep 20, 2013)

Glittery Blingtron said:


> -They could be trying to look away to consentrate better or get rid of too many sensory impressions
> -They could be looking in the mirror because _narcississus_ is there ifyouknowwhatImeen
> -They could be looking in the reflection to practice their communication with others or out of curiousity
> -They could be looking in the reflection because they have a problem looking at you or want to bother you or disrespect you
> ...


There are definitely an endless number of possibilities. I've contemplated many of them, but it is still puzzling to me. 

* *





I've thought that even though they seem to possess a reasonable amount of self confidence, that perhaps inwardly it is a different story. Maybe they struggle more than they appear to and they're just good at hiding it. I have noticed that they seem to need fairly regular and frequent validation(but it is also possible I am misreading their behaviors). The apparent need for validation seems to indicate there are insecurities, although I haven't figured exactly how this behavior would help alleviate them. The individual has indicated they grew up a bit isolated from others their own age, and maybe that is one aspect of this. Maybe it is a need to determine am I okay? Do I come across like others? Do I look stupid/awkward, etc.? At this point I just don't know. However, it is my hope that I do not contribute to the insecurities, if that is at the root of this.

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts!







futurepilot37 said:


> Narcissistic?


When I first started seeking answers for this behavior, that is one of the first possibilities I came across.

* *




I think there can be small amounts of narcissism in all of us, but I don't see them as a narcissist. They *do not* seem to be consumed with a sense of self importance, but rather a need to feel relevant/valued/important. I have noticed a frequent seeking of validation/attention from others. I tend to think this is due to insecurity rather than a sense of self importance.

Although, they tend to say things that lead me to believe they have a need to see them self as intellectually superior to many. (and perhaps they really are, I can attest to them being academically on top of things) 

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts!






MeltedSorbet said:


> @*jamaix*
> 
> Yeah--I've seen children do this kind of thing, and I think animals sometimes focus on mirrors. But I think that's because they are still learning about them and they might be kind of confused/entertained by them.
> 
> I've never seen an adult do that though (and honestly the children aren't having a conversation--just looking at themselves make different expressions in the mirror).


 Yes, I agree I've also noticed this behavior in mostly the very young. The talking while never looking away from their reflection has taken some getting to use for me. (although obviously I can't say I've gotten use to it yet) I am always conscious that they are doing this when mirror like objects are around, because it is so obvious and they really don't seem to be aware of how it might look to others.

* *








> Maybe he doesn't have any mirrors at home? It does seem odd though--I don't think that is the reason.


 I agree, that is not the reason. Plus, I've been in their home and have seen mirrors in it.



> I do admit though that not having a lot of experience with video chat, when I did do video chat (I've maybe done it like twice) I would get really distracted by the image of myself--I wasn't constantly watching it but it would distract me just because it was so unusual to see myself talking and making expressions. So I would have to concentrate on focusing and remembering what I was talking about, since it was so weird.


 Yes, that makes sense and really something like that would not seem unusual to me.

I'm kind of wondering if it is part of an am I doing okay, how do I look to others sort of thing? As I mentioned to a previous poster they have relayed to me that they grew up isolated and had little opportunity for socializing, and maybe this factors into the behavior. 

Thanks again!


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## Electra (Oct 24, 2014)

@*jamaix* , thank you. It is interesting! I can add that when I was about 16 I got a shock when I saw my self on video and felt horrible, because I didn't look the way I want, I thought I looked akward and unatural, and after that I often wonder what I look like during conversations. Then later I watched my self during an interview on youtube and I hated that too because of how unatural I thought I looked. So if I sing at home and film my self I think I look more normal but for some reason when I speak with others I seem to often look really unatural and awkward. This has sometimes lead me to try and observe my self in reflections in order to see when and discover why this awkardness/unaturalness happens in order to eliminate it and be more authentic. But because I care for or try hard to care for the feelings of others and since I feel a strong need to be accepted (not nesseserily normal, but rather accepted), I try to not do it too much so that it scares or freak people out or such.


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## jamaix (Sep 20, 2013)

Dalien said:


> What kind of life did this person have before entering your life?
> Was it supportive?


They are an adult, but not all that old. So a lot of their life prior to me meeting them was while still at home.
Based upon what they have said and things I've picked up from listening to them, this is their perception of how they grew up...

Very overprotected (sounds almost to the point of stifling to me)
heavy emphasis on academics
very limited social interaction outside of immediate family
they love their family, but I can tell there is a lot of resentment and anger towards them for their upbringing (although they do love their parents and know that they love them)


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

Glittery Blingtron said:


> @*jamaix* , thank you. It is interesting! I can add that when I was about 16 I got a shock when I saw my self on video and felt horrible, because I didn't look the way I want, I thought I looked akward and unatural, and after that I often wonder what I look like during conversations. Then later I watched my self during an interview on youtube and I hated that too because of how unatural I thought I looked. So if I sing at home and film my self I think I look more normal but for some reason when I speak with others I seem to often look really unatural and awkward. This has sometimes lead me to try and observe my self in reflections in order to see when and discover why this awkardness/unaturalness happens in order to eliminate it and be more authentic. But because I care for or try hard to care for the feelings of others and since I feel a strong need to be accepted (not nesseserily normal, but rather accepted), I try to not do it too much so that it scares or freak people out or such.


My old Speech professor recommended to the class to watch videos of ourselves--he said that it's really common for people to do body language they aren't aware of, especially in public speaking.

I still get weirded out by seeing myself in video. I don't look how I feel--I look much more scattered. My voice sounds different than it does in my head etc. 

So yeah...I agree with you and @*jamaix* that social isolation and maybe insecurity around communicating with people outside of his family might be part of it.

I wouldn't really think a narcissist would look in the mirror--they tend to be really charming and fluid with social interactions (unless there are other signs). This guy just sounds kind of awkward.

I think it can be helpful for people to observe themselves--but just probably kind of awkward if you're talking to someone! lol

Edit: Also--this is kind of a long shot, but people with autism (even high functioning) seem to maybe have had trouble with mirroring as children--like developing mirror neurons or something. So this can make it more of a struggle to communicate.

And also--anxiety--anxiety can also feature repetitive behaviors (autism has stimming--but I'm not sure if looking in the mirror could be stimming--I think it could though I've not heard of that specifically, but I'm not a specialist). But even anxiety creates those kind of nervous hand gestures--twirling hair and stuff repetitively. It could also possibly create a habit like looking in the mirror idk. So idk if he has high anxiety.

Like I consider OCD an anxiety disorder, and the repetitive behaviors in OCD can be quite elaborate--so I imagine looking in the mirror could become kind of an obsession, though I haven't heard of it specifically. But even with social anxiety it's possible, if he just isn't aware of what his body language is doing because he's so anxious.


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## jamaix (Sep 20, 2013)

MeltedSorbet said:


> Like I consider OCD an anxiety disorder, and the repetitive behaviors in OCD can be quite elaborate--so I imagine looking in the mirror could become kind of an obsession, though I haven't heard of it specifically. But even with social anxiety it's possible, if he just isn't aware of what his body language is doing because he's so anxious.


I should have thought about OCD, because it is something I have struggled with a lot in the past. I even did a thread on PerC on it some time ago. I think you might even have contributed to it? Can't remember for sure. Although for me, I think mine was largely due to scrupulosity. I think I've mostly conquered it. 

A bit off topic,
I am still religious. However, I had to learn that it was okay to give myself permission (sounds weird I know) to disagree with some things, and realize it did not make me a horrible person. I use to get stuck in patterns of counting everything repetitively as a coping mechanism in order to help me survive the war that was going on in my head. Didn't even realize until I did the thread on PerC that it was sometimes referred to as stimming. Just thought about the fact that I haven't done that in a long time. Yay!


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## jamaix (Sep 20, 2013)

series0 said:


> This is a well known trait of vanity in general. The adoration of the self, pride in beauty and goodness, is often a transactional from of desire. It is an image conscious reflection back at the self. Such a person is also likely to be somewhat sacrificing, even unto a perverse pride in martyrdom type arrangements. But as mentioned this pride in the good is not actually good. It is transactional and thus manipulative. I am extrapolating a whole lot based on that one iota of data. But the exemplars of that behavior I know are all enneatype 2, or at least that on the desire type.


 I agree that it does sound like a vanity thing, but I don't get the sense that this person is at all fixated on their physical appearance. I don't know their Enneagram type. All I know for sure is that they are an extroverted feeler. 

I waited awhile to respond to your post as I wanted to think about your comments a bit longer. You are often pretty accurate about your assessments of people. Not sure yet about the martyrdom idea. I do know they see themself as somewhat of a victim, but it is not all that unusual for young people to blame someone else(especially parents, teachers, etc.) for their shortcomings/failures many seem to fall into that. At least while they are young and until they realize that blaming someone will not fix anything.



> Enneatype 2 is warm and sensual. They feel warm when you look at their eyes. They can be very touchy as well. Often they cling too long with personal contact. It is an affectation.


 Well this person would definitely be described as clingy, especially with those they are really close to.



> The 2 typically feels a strong pride in their sacrificial nature. They devote themselves to someone or something else in orderly fashion and they *have the intense feeling that they know better what is good for that person or organization than the person or org does for themselves *which is how they justify the manipulation.


 I have observed a bit of this.



> Their pride in their own sacrifice becomes a source for feelings of entitlement.


 Still not sure about this. Haven't really observed what I would describe as an entitlement mentality.



> All order types are insecure in some way. The 2 gains its worthiness by submission to the other. Either a person or organization. In such a way they overcome their shame at worthlessness, an inner issue they face.


 I'd be very surprised if this person was an order type. They are extremely impulsive and have paid dearly for it to date and will continue to reap the consequence for many years to come. I do think they battle quite a bit of shame/insecurity and have a strong need for validation. 




> Although the 2 can be image conscious (because it is adjacent 3) this is not their main concern. They are usually extroverted although their expended energy usually is tied to what they are submitting to. Many little old church ladies are this type and if it gives you any clue into the type, so are many whores.
> 
> 
> What do you think of that analysis?


Well, this person is young, can be quite impulsive, opinionated, and is definitely not a little old church lady. I'll have to think about some of the things you've said some more. Some of it resonates and some doesn't. But that does not mean you are wrong, it just means I am not sure at this point. 

As always, thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts!


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## Dalien (Jul 21, 2010)

jamaix said:


> They are an adult, but not all that old. So a lot of their life prior to me meeting them was while still at home.
> Based upon what they have said and things I've picked up from listening to them, this is their perception of how they grew up...
> 
> Very overprotected (sounds almost to the point of stifling to me)
> ...





From all that I’ve read that you’ve written in this thread, self-validation seems to be the answer. This person no longer has the demanding structure of their growing up life and now has to look upon their self to continue that structure... figuratively/literally and physically/mentally. All the while, wondering who they are without it and where they are going with free reign.


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## Blazkovitz (Mar 16, 2014)

She fears she may have a bug on her face?


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## series0 (Feb 18, 2013)

Be aware as well that type 2 is often plagued with hypochondria. Since they are entitled but also worthless on the inside when immature, they feel like they are making all these transactions of good and have a pride in that. But that pride and worthlessness combine into a feeling like despite it all, they will be stricken down. This manifests as a fear upon hearing of ANY ailment that their worthlessness is connected to that and thus that they have that affliction.

The 2 also has internal radiative worthlessness. Incidentally the 2 overlay is the 'mother' overlay. The effect is this: the closer you are to the center of all worthlessness in the world (the 2) the more worthless you are. The effect is a worthiness that can only happen to more and more distal others. So authority figures related to the orderly attachment of the 2 are the only centers of worth in the world. This is the scolding manipulative mother who hates herself and then her husband and children and then her friends and people only finally start to be worthy if they are authorities or strangers.


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## VoodooDolls (Jul 30, 2013)

reptilian or a vampire ofc
my question for op is tho, now that some online psychiatrists determined the why, i wonder what are you going to do with this information? use it against them or tell them how to become a better person? does make it living easier for u at some level?

i don't want to sound mean, but why is it that u don't just stick to ur own business ¿?


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## series0 (Feb 18, 2013)




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## jamaix (Sep 20, 2013)

VoodooDolls said:


> reptilian or a vampire ofc
> my question for op is tho, now that some online psychiatrists determined the why, i wonder what are you going to do with this information? use it against them or tell them how to become a better person? does make it living easier for u at some level?
> 
> i don't want to sound mean, but why is it that u don't just stick to ur own business ¿?


Of course you don't know me, but why in the world would you assume the worst? I have absolutely NO desire or intention to harm this person or to do anything that would hurt them. I merely want to understand them, as they have recently become a part of my family, and that makes it my business. I find their behavior confusing, and I had never encountered anyone who did this before. Hurting them in any way, is the furthest thing from my mind.


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## Surreal Snake (Nov 17, 2009)

Cause their shadow told them too


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## TranquilMindGun (Aug 22, 2018)

Surreal Snake said:


> Cause their shadow told them too


You have a knack in having a guffaw escape my lips and random times. I quite enjoy it. Thank you.


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## jamaix (Sep 20, 2013)

Dalien said:


> From all that I’ve read that you’ve written in this thread, self-validation seems to be the answer. This person no longer has the demanding structure of their growing up life and now has to look upon their self to continue that structure... figuratively/literally and physically/mentally. All the while, wondering who they are without it and where they are going with free reign.


I can definitely sense a strong need for validation. I think it is due to the fact that they made some impulsive ill advised decisions a few years ago that continues to make their life difficult. Decisions that caused some to look down upon them. Even though they seem to have learned their lesson and have worked very hard to get on a better life path. They have battled against the odds, made it through college under less than ideal circumstances, secured a good paying job, married well (In my of course unbiased opinion roud, bought a decently nice home, etc. (all in about a years time). 

The last thing I want to do is to make them feel insecure or like they're are being judged harshly by me. I think they have done an amazing job at recovering and I realize no one can undo the past, they can only move forward. At first I thought that perhaps it was me and that I made them nervous, but I realized as I watched and observed that this happened with others as well. 

I guess I can only hope that someday they feel secure enough that they no longer feel the need to do this. I certainly don't want to contribute to it. I think they have done quite well and fully understand no one can change the past, but they can make a better future and they are working hard to do that. I know they want my approval, and I am not sure how to best demonstrate it, I am not the best with words. Actions are more my thing, and how I demonstrate approval and care. But it definitely goes beyond just wanting my approval.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!


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## Wisteria (Apr 2, 2015)

I do it to check if I look okay basically, like making sure my hair hasn't fallen out of place or make up hasn't smudged. And maybe wanting to know how I look in other peoples eyes. Or because I'm bored - looking at yourself is more interesting than staring at a wall.


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## Highway Nights (Nov 26, 2014)

They must look bangin'


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## Electra (Oct 24, 2014)

Rebelgoatalliance said:


> They must look bangin'


:laughing:


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## Dalien (Jul 21, 2010)

jamaix said:


> I can definitely sense a strong need for validation. I think it is due to the fact that they made some impulsive ill advised decisions a few years ago that continues to make their life difficult. Decisions that caused some to look down upon them. Even though they seem to have learned their lesson and have worked very hard to get on a better life path. They have battled against the odds, made it through college under less than ideal circumstances, secured a good paying job, married well (In my of course unbiased opinion roud, bought a decently nice home, etc. (all in about a years time).
> 
> The last thing I want to do is to make them feel insecure or like they're are being judged harshly by me. I think they have done an amazing job at recovering and I realize no one can undo the past, they can only move forward. At first I thought that perhaps it was me and that I made them nervous, but I realized as I watched and observed that this happened with others as well.
> 
> ...


Sounds like this person rebelled and then turned around and rebelled against their rebellion. That takes strength creating growth. I’m thinking that now the dust has settled this person is surprised that what their parents demanded was finally done in a sense. Now, the wonder is, am I my parents/will I do as my parents have done? They were right in a way, but can I/should I be so strict and cause my children to do as I have done? 
Granted, I don’t know if these thoughts actually go through this person’s head, but it does stand to reason as they may being the scenario. I think this person is really trying to self-validate whom they really are... self, parents or a mix and how to proceed.
jamaix, I’ve not thought for a moment that you’re doing anything other than trying to understand her. You’re support of her, which you are doing by trying to understand, is the biggest action one can do. Let her know you support her. (Which you probably already do.)

And, you’re very welcomed.

PS I could be off a bit on my thoughts about this person without more information or physically being there and seeing more... is there anything else? 

PSS It’s all really speculation. 
And, the PS question doesn’t necessarily need to be answered; it can be looked upon as rhetorical.


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## Thunal33 (Oct 22, 2018)

It's probably the same reason a person might repeatedly refresh a page to see if something has changed. _Do I look okay? How about now? Do I still look okay?_ Or maybe they find it interesting for some reason, either out of vanity or because they're curious about how they look right now.


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## True Blue Girl (Nov 11, 2021)

jamaix said:


> I am curious as to thoughts on possible reasons someone might regularly/routinely watch their reflection when they're talking to people instead of looking at the one they're speaking to? (seems to happen anytime there is something that will reflect their image in front of them - mirror, window, shiny metal, etc.)
> 
> This person is a fairly regular part of my life and I'm trying to understand/consider some possible reasons why they do this. It is somewhat distracting when conversing with them as I am always aware that they are watching themselves when there is anything in front them that they can see their reflection in. It is extremely obvious that they are watching them self rather than looking at the one they're talking to. They seem to lack awareness that they are doing this. I know they don't have trouble making eye contact otherwise though, because when there is nothing they can see themself in they do make eye contact.
> 
> ...





series0 said:


> Be aware as well that type 2 is often plagued with hypochondria. Since they are entitled but also worthless on the inside when immature, they feel like they are making all these transactions of good and have a pride in that. But that pride and worthlessness combine into a feeling like despite it all, they will be stricken down. This manifests as a fear upon hearing of ANY ailment that their worthlessness is connected to that and thus that they have that affliction.
> 
> The 2 also has internal radiative worthlessness. Incidentally the 2 overlay is the 'mother' overlay. The effect is this: the closer you are to the center of all worthlessness in the world (the 2) the more worthless you are. The effect is a worthiness that can only happen to more and more distal others. So authority figures related to the orderly attachment of the 2 are the only centers of worth in the world. This is the scolding manipulative mother who hates herself and then her husband and children and then her friends and people only finally start to be worthy if they are authorities or


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## True Blue Girl (Nov 11, 2021)

jamaix said:


> I am curious as to thoughts on possible reasons someone might regularly/routinely watch their reflection when they're talking to people instead of looking at the one they're speaking to? (seems to happen anytime there is something that will reflect their image in front of them - mirror, window, shiny metal, etc.)
> 
> This person is a fairly regular part of my life and I'm trying to understand/consider some possible reasons why they do this. It is somewhat distracting when conversing with them as I am always aware that they are watching themselves when there is anything in front them that they can see their reflection in. It is extremely obvious that they are watching them self rather than looking at the one they're talking to. They seem to lack awareness that they are doing this. I know they don't have trouble making eye contact otherwise though, because when there is nothing they can see themself in they do make eye contact.
> 
> ...


You just described my husband - he does the same thing and it puzzles and annoys me to no end! He looks at and talks to his reflection like its another person in the conversation.....I don't understand it and I have started pointing it out. He can't really give me an explanation as to why he does it. He generally has good social skills, is confident and well adjusted. No awful childhood traumas, no anxiety or OCD. I am chalking it up to a sense of self importance. But I would love a more "clinical" opinion on this behavior as well.


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## mia-me (Feb 5, 2021)

This thread is almost three years old so it's doubtful that the OP is still contemplating this issue about his chat buddy.

But as a generality, I haven't seen too many people who do this except for one guy who was a model. He felt he always had to be on his A game so he was forever evaluating how he projected himself. The reason I know this is because I asked him.


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## series0 (Feb 18, 2013)

True Blue Girl said:


> You just described my husband - he does the same thing and it puzzles and annoys me to no end! He looks at and talks to his reflection like its another person in the conversation.....I don't understand it and I have started pointing it out. He can't really give me an explanation as to why he does it. He generally has good social skills, is confident and well adjusted. No awful childhood traumas, no anxiety or OCD. I am chalking it up to a sense of self importance. But I would love a more "clinical" opinion on this behavior as well.


This sort of present vanity is a classical 2 move. But 3w2 will also do it and even the 1w2, although the 1 is more likely to refrain from the public show, even by accident. 

It is a giddy (desire) act, a flirtation with the self. 

In some ways this reflection can be healthy and offer one a great vantage on the self AS IF one was an outsider. But the two will usually get more flowery, purple, and passionate with their own image and body. Obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant as Steve Martin would say.

Obsequious Purple and Clairvoyant!


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## mia-me (Feb 5, 2021)

I think this would be beneficial to autists who wish to acquire social skills, since they can self-evaluate in real time.


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## katyafromfinance (8 mo ago)

jamaix said:


> I am curious as to thoughts on possible reasons someone might regularly/routinely watch their reflection when they're talking to people instead of looking at the one they're speaking to? (seems to happen anytime there is something that will reflect their image in front of them - mirror, window, shiny metal, etc.)
> 
> This person is a fairly regular part of my life and I'm trying to understand/consider some possible reasons why they do this. It is somewhat distracting when conversing with them as I am always aware that they are watching themselves when there is anything in front them that they can see their reflection in. It is extremely obvious that they are watching them self rather than looking at the one they're talking to. They seem to lack awareness that they are doing this. I know they don't have trouble making eye contact otherwise though, because when there is nothing they can see themself in they do make eye contact.
> 
> ...


I’ve been told i do this, many times, mostly by my grandma. However, I am not insecure in fact I think i’m quite beautiful. I think someone who is insecure wouldn’t want to look at themselves in the mirror everytime they see one. I think the person you’re talking to might just be entranced by themself the way i am haha. I’m sorry to come off as vain but that’s the answer i have!


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## jamescharlesstoltz (5 mo ago)

jamaix said:


> I am curious as to thoughts on possible reasons someone might regularly/routinely watch their reflection when they're talking to people instead of looking at the one they're speaking to? (seems to happen anytime there is something that will reflect their image in front of them - mirror, window, shiny metal, etc.)
> 
> This person is a fairly regular part of my life and I'm trying to understand/consider some possible reasons why they do this. It is somewhat distracting when conversing with them as I am always aware that they are watching themselves when there is anything in front them that they can see their reflection in. It is extremely obvious that they are watching them self rather than looking at the one they're talking to. They seem to lack awareness that they are doing this. I know they don't have trouble making eye contact otherwise though, because when there is nothing they can see themself in they do make eye contact.
> 
> ...


HEY! I know this is a really old post, but this compelled me to make an account just to reply. MY SISTER USED TO DO THIS CONSTANTLY! I found myself doing this sometimes as well. My best guess is this has to do with an insecurity with identity. I wanna know what im saying is getting across, and im conveying the right expression. 
I find myself trying to "not sound like a liar" a lot. I dont know why. I dont go around lying, but for some reason I feel it's important to let people know that! So sometimes I look at myself to make sure im conveying the right message through my facial expressions and body language.
A good question for this person in your life would be "Do you have an inner monologue?"


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## ai.tran.75 (Feb 26, 2014)

Hmm for my case - I’m amused by what’s staring back at me ( I only do this once in a while - usually when I’m conversing with my husband) 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## TranscendingEnlightenment (7 mo ago)

A guilty conscience telling you to look at yourself. But you do your best to avoid looking at yourself. You know what your past is like. There is nothing that can be changed from the past. The past is the past for a reason. You're holding onto the past dwellingly.

Hiding the bodies makes you feel dirty inside. No turning back the hands of time, though. Past sins come back to haunt you slowly but surely like a snake taking its bittersweet time. So, you unconsciously look at yourself in the mirror to reflect on those past sins.

You're trying to figure yourself out. You feel lost. This lostness makes one feel like at seeing themself in the mirror. They're like an ignorant child in a very uncertain world.


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