# and the most anal of all types is...



## pokerface (Dec 3, 2010)

Who do you think is the most anal-retentive of all personality types? How do you deal with these types? Are you one of them (I am!)? If you're one of them, how do you deal with it yourself? Do you view it as a problem?


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

The J types, usually. If they are people I like, I deal with them by doing my best to please them, and if they try to change me more than I am able to change, or imply that there is something wrong with my not being like them, I will remind them that I am already doing something outside of my comfort zone for them, and that there is nothing inherently superior about order. Then I attempt to appeal to their sense of empathy by giving a description of a scenario in which the roles are reversed. 

For example:
Imagine you lived in a world where messiness was considered more comfortable and polite than neatness. When you were a child, your family would get irritated if you tidied up your room, and when company came over, you had to make sure things weren't too neat, no matter how uncomfortable it made you, in order to avoid seeming rude, or embarrassing anyone with what they perceived as your "overly-structured," "tense-feeling" preferred environment. At school, some of your teachers did desk inspections to make sure you weren't being too orderly, and would chastise you and make you miss recess if your pencils were all facing the same way. After all, if you were really focusing on your studies, you wouldn't have time to worry about how your pencils looked together. Everywhere you went, people would assume something was wrong with you for it, because the time you spent tidying up meant that your priorities were askew and that you focused on the trivial instead of on more important/creative things. After a lifetime of being shamed and scolded for wanting to keep things in the way that felt most natural for you, imagine you had a friend who was normal, who wasn't naturally tidy, who found it easy to live in the more socially accepted way. She seemed to accept you anyhow, despite the fact that you were not like her. Imagine you cared about this person a lot and didn't want to impose your own way of doing things on her, because you valued and respected her and wanted to reciprocate her tolerance for your natural way of being. Now, imagine after you had done your very best to avoid nit-picking and changing things at her house, to avoid making things too orderly. Finally, one day she snaps, and she criticizes you for being a neat freak because you accidentally put a book back on the shelf instead of leaving it on the table when you were through with it. How would that make you feel? If you answer that you would feel like the criticism was unwarranted because of your efforts, and because of the sacrifices you were already making for her, then you understand how I feel, being a more chaotic person than you are, in a world where neatness is valued and messiness is considered impolite or lazy. This is how I feel, having you as a friend, and being criticized for imperfectly changing my behavior, even though I am doing my best to make you comfortable. It is important to be willing to compromise for each other if we are going to remain compatible, but it is also necessary to recognize that it is impossible to perfectly become something other than ourselves for each other.


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## incision (May 23, 2010)

ESTJs since they NEED to control (some would say the same about ENTJs but we're less detail oriented and aren't attached to tradition or past experiences). I really like most ESTJs and just push back when they get to be too much. And of course, there are unhealthy ones, same as any other type. Those ones are best to maintain distance with until or if they pass crisis point.


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## Staryu (Jun 28, 2010)

ESTJ :laughing:
Te+Si.."no, it HAS to be done THIS way"
so, i vote ESTJ, rather than istj, bc estjs are more in ur face about it:crazy:


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## rowingineden (Jun 23, 2010)

I was going to say ISTJ. Basically, Si+Te can be a huge problem. But hell, I can get into that mode, too. It's just the lack of balance that can result from the combination, I think, just as my Fi+Ne can lack balance (make me a way too dreamy sort of person or whatever).


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## viva (Aug 13, 2010)

I kind of feel it's ESFJ rather than ESTJ since ESFJs tend to be less logical and have nonsensical reasoning behind their anal behavior.


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## Angelic Gardevoir (Oct 7, 2010)

Maybe just SJs in general? :tongue:


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## vel (May 17, 2010)

ISFJs and INTPs for me. Si's high emphasis on details and Ti propensity to take things literally make it for a somewhat difficult combination to deal with at times especially in highly introverted persons.


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## jockthemotie (Aug 6, 2010)

ISTJ.

Character limit.


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## DoctorYikes (Nov 22, 2010)

ESFP.

Oh, wait. Just read the rest of the post. Anal-RETENTIVE. Huh, not sure.


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## pokerface (Dec 3, 2010)

DoctorYikes said:


> ESFP.
> 
> Oh, wait. Just read the rest of the post. Anal-RETENTIVE. Huh, not sure.


haha reminds me of the line in 500 days of summer..."they used to call me anal girl [awkward pause]...because I was extremely organized."
:crazy:


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

Anal and anal-retentive are the same thing, by the way. People just sometimes drop the retentive. I don't understand why DY would have been confused about that.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

J's->IJ's->ITJ's->ISTJ


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## Neon Knight (Aug 11, 2010)

skycloud86 said:


> Anal and anal-retentive are the same thing, by the way. People just sometimes drop the retentive. I don't understand why DY would have been confused about that.


I learned there are 2 types of anal, one is retentive and one is expulsive and both relate to toilet training:
https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Anal_retentive
https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Anal_expulsive


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## topgun31 (Nov 23, 2010)

From my experience:
ESFJ, ESTJ, and ISTJ


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## SarahWilliams (May 5, 2010)

I would think an SJ type? Candidates: ISTJ, ISFJ, ESFJ, ESTJ

I, personally, have OCD and anxiety issues... and I think INFJs can be neurotic, but im not sure it's related to a need for control - I think it's related to personal perfectionism. Also, 'N' allows for a check on reality. If I start obsessing, I realize my actions have little effect on the greater picture. For example, does it matter if the dirty dishes wait until the morning? No, not really.


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## hungryfooligan (Nov 29, 2010)

i would probably give a shout out to majority of ESTJs. funnily enough my dad is one (considering i'm a highly intuitive INFP). things that seem to piss me off about them-

- the fact they seek control and power (probably their sense of seeking reassurance) as a dad they are most likely to think that they are the 'figure of authority' in the household as my dad views it. 
- they are really bad at observing situations, especially emotional problems 
- they believe that being emotional is a weakness 
- they abide by society 
- they view INFPs as weak people
- they stereotype (this is fairly ironic since i am generalising actions by MBTI type, but oh well)
- all my siblings are INFPs too and since my dad has a strong passion for sports he is always trying to make us do something athletic (bearing in mind that me and my brothers are very artistic) 
- they need to feel respect but do not give it back
- they only shout or seem fairly patient
- when i really observe the ESTJ i realise that deep down they are probably more wounded than they thought themselves 
- growing up my dad thought i was a weirdo because i was very introverted and suffered from depression and BDD.
- don't respect other peoples privacy 
- tend to be selfish 
- believe they are more emotional then they really are 
- don't have high aspirations
- get too caught up in reality 
- have bad sense in humour (think more on the lines of family guy humour)
- have very black and white traditional opinions on everything 

however i'm sure there are advantages too. i mean when we get along (which is when i act like an ENFJ) we can have a real good time just watching tv or conversing in meaningful topics. 

that's it really :happy:


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## hungryfooligan (Nov 29, 2010)

also, i'm pretty sure the ESTJs view INFPs as weak, indirect, socially inept, awkward weirdos.


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## hungryfooligan (Nov 29, 2010)

also, i'm not too keen on ESFJs. i can act like an INTP at times and i have a real problem conversing in such mundane topics such as what i'm doing over the weekends and things like that. they also tend to act like infants themselves. i once knew a female ESFJ she was very physically attractive and had a great feminine yet slim body (probably because biologically ESFJs make good mothers).


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## paperangels (Dec 16, 2010)

ESTJ, for sure.


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## SuperunknownVortex (Dec 4, 2009)

xSxJ. Every single one of 'them'!


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