# Ever experience conflict with people that is directly related to instinctual stack?



## Kitfool (Oct 24, 2012)

Are there any repeated issues you've had that points directly to instinct that you'd be willing to share?


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Kitfool said:


> oh no, for real? Sorry, man.
> 
> I gotta say, I can't see myself married to an so last. I'm okay with so/sx, so/sp and sp/so. Not sure about sx/so, prossibly not. My "fiancée" is so/sp and I have to say, it is very fulfilling to be with someone who understands my fixations, and at the same time I like that she at least possesses sp as well because there should at least be a hint of sp in order to have a successful relationship.


I didn't realize my 8w7 Sp/Sx wife would bury herself so much into her work that she would lose me in the process.


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## Zirnitra (Oct 11, 2018)

I'm an INTJ and have found sp types rather self-centred. That's just my own personal experience to date, however. You wrote that "It would seem possible that my conflict is really with introverted people" and I can understand that if you're wanting to associate with them, finding them intriguing and interesting but feeling frustrated because they typically don't want to, as I think you put it, leave the house and you've got a 4w5 INFP friend who will make plans with you then call it off at the last minute - and you wrote the others have blown you off before, too. I personally don't like it when anyone does this sort of thing. Maybe you haven't met any INTJs but we take plans and promises seriously and don't tend to make them unless we can honour them: it's a matter of personal integrity for us.

However, if you like to share items with others that's a bit trickier when you're dealing with introverted types. Typically introverts treasure their possessions, and may lend some - for INTJs it's usually books from their personal library - but since introverts like 5's (on the Enneagram) treasure knowledge and therefore books, and often don't put much store in many material possessions otherwise, what they *do* have they prefer to keep to themselves. 

The ISTP, ISFP and ISFJ types seem to be ones that you just can't get to leave the house to engage in activities you enjoy, which is a pity. Maybe, rather than dealing with the sx/sp and sp/so types you can see if you get along better with INxx types? They will tend to keep commitments, for starters!


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## ewdenore (Nov 16, 2017)

This whole thread was painful to read.

I tend not to like people who think these things:


 Social interaction is the way to happiness.
 I'm entitled to interaction from you.
 You're not giving me what I want. You're being selfish! (What are you, a monarch? If you want something everyone is obligated to give it to you?)

Not sure I can call it conflict though, because if someone behaves this way I just remove them from my life.



Kitfool said:


> but here is the problem: they never WANT to hang out. They never seem to want to do anything.


They probably think the same thing about you. That all you ever want to is hang out; you're so enamored with the experience of interaction that you never actually do anything interesting with your life. You never actually want to do anything.


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