# Were you very anxious to lose your virginity in your younger years?



## scarygirl (Aug 12, 2010)

What I mean is...
did you ever fear that nothing would happen at last and somehow, await for something, and get stressed a bit about it?
Stupid post.


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## magnus una (Sep 7, 2010)

yes, I was very anxious in my teens


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

Not really. Having sex was the last thing on my mind, and it's not got a lot of importance to me.


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## JoetheBull (Apr 29, 2010)

yes. I was extremely curious about what sex was like since it seems everyone had nothing bad to say about it and how awesome it is. In the end it drove me insane, drove my mental health into the pits of hell(surprisingly I managed to get it back up), and eventually in my mid 20's I chose to get rid of it and ended up with a bad experience that I semi regret and stopping my grow obsession over it(damn porn). :frustrating: sorry went a bit overboard maybe


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## tuna (Jun 10, 2010)

No. No interest in sex and no interest in losing my virginity. It just didn't/doesn't matter to me.


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## Monte (Feb 17, 2010)

I was extremely curious as to what all the fuss was about.

Sex is a bit over-hyped, but at least it's fun.


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

Not at all, especially since masturbation yields the best part anyway. The orgasm. :mellow:


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## SaraBell (Jun 3, 2010)

Yes; I very much wanted to know what all the fuss was about. I didn't really care too much until my best friend got a boyfriend and they were _always_ having sex and she was _always_ talking about it. Then I was a little jealous because I wanted to have that experience and it wasn't happening.


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

I'm a teenager, and I'm really not anxious to lose my virginity. I wouldn't say I'm really saving it on purpose, I just don't know why anyone would feel as if they have to lose their virginity as soon as possible.


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## magnus una (Sep 7, 2010)

Paranoid Android said:


> I'm a teenager, and I'm really not anxious to lose my virginity. I wouldn't say I'm really saving it on purpose, I just don't know why anyone would feel as if they have to lose their virginity as soon as possible.


I found in my late teens there was just a lot of pressure like it wouldn't happen if you enter your twenties and it hasn't already, lol


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## PyrLove (Jun 6, 2010)

Not a stupid post.

Yes, I was anxious to lose my virginity. I felt like it was a burden and kept me from being relaxed enough with a guy to develop any kind of relationship. I purposely set out to lose my virginity when I was 20. It was a very pragmatic plan. Unfortunately, I didn't expect to be overwhelmed with misplaced feelings of attachment. The actual act can be intimidating but the emotional aftermath is the scariest part. Just be prepared physically and emotionally.


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

Yes, I wanted to lose my virginity since I was 10. I was obsessed with sex. Didn't lose my virginity until I was in my 20's.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

I still am. I'm going to Europe this summer so if I get the chance I will hire a prostitute.


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## geGamedev (Nov 26, 2009)

Not really. Just the opposite if anything. I always wanted sex to take place in a lasting relationship, not the quick flings and short-lived relationships found in grade-school. While I still feel the same way today, I do occasionally get a little worried that my lack of experience might cause problems in the future. Not to mention, I'm obviously missing out on sex all these years... Lol


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## Skum (Jun 27, 2010)

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> I still am. I'm going to Europe this summer so if I get the chance I will hire a prostitute.


Why a prostitute? I'd be incredibly uncomfortable if I found out the man I was in a relationship with lost it to a prostitute. It was already difficult knowing that he'd lost it to his previous girlfriend, yet I was a virgin (and once I wasn't I didn't care anymore. lol). Somehow, I think if it were a prostitute it'd be even harder for me to get over. Don't know about the other women on here. 
So, why not do it the fun way: hit on a woman in the pub. Take her to your hotel


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

I was afraid of it, and wanted the first time to be really important and special. I hated the idea of just wasting it and having it not matter a lot to the other person, because of how much it mattered to me. It's still like that, though, even now that I'm not a virgin. I still want sex to be valuable and meaningful. I still have this ideal of being with one person for life, to share my firsts and lasts, even now that it isn't possible.


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## JoetheBull (Apr 29, 2010)

Skum said:


> Why a prostitute? I'd be incredibly uncomfortable if I found out the man I was in a relationship with lost it to a prostitute. It was already difficult knowing that he'd lost it to his previous girlfriend, yet I was a virgin (and once I wasn't I didn't care anymore. lol). Somehow, I think if it were a prostitute it'd be even harder for me to get over. Don't know about the other women on here.
> So, why not do it the fun way: hit on a woman in the pub. Take her to your hotel


Because sometimes it seem to be the only way. :frustrating:

and speaking for myself picking up girls at a pub is not fun. Pubs are boring to begin with(remember I am talking about myself here) and I am sure woman don't like it when some one is bored and depressed and trying to hit on them since there is nothing better to do then eat.



Mutatio NOmenis said:


> I still am. I'm going to Europe this summer so if I get the chance I will hire a prostitute.


Think really hard on whether or not you want to do this. Skum brought up a good point about what future girlfriends would think about it. Unless you think you can keep up the lie about it.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

Skum said:


> Why a prostitute? I'd be incredibly uncomfortable if I found out the man I was in a relationship with lost it to a prostitute. It was already difficult knowing that he'd lost it to his previous girlfriend, yet I was a virgin (and once I wasn't I didn't care anymore. lol). Somehow, I think if it were a prostitute it'd be even harder for me to get over. Don't know about the other women on here.
> So, why not do it the fun way: hit on a woman in the pub. Take her to your hotel


Pa-rents and an asshole brother. And I'm short and don't really speak the native languages.


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## StarBuck (Oct 23, 2010)

I was really interested in sex but did not go out with the intention of losing it.

Mutatio NOmenis really think about it. Joethebull mentions keeping it a secret but a lot of time that will not always work. We found out a male relative had sex with a prostitute when he was older and losing his mind. I no longer think of him the same and it is hard to respect someone that has done that.


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## Drewbie (Apr 28, 2010)

I was anxious about losing it because it probably would have been the most damaging thing I could have done with my first (and only) boyfriend. Woo religious sexual repression! So I was constantly focused on _not having sex_ even though I wanted it. Once that relationship was over I wasn't really anxious about wanting to lose it but I was definitely determined to not be a virgin before my next romantic relationship. So I recruited a friend. Then after a few times with him I realized my lesbian tendencies were taking over, sex with him was more frustrating than enjoyable, and it was about time I moved on. Glad I didn't marry the religious boyfriend. That would not have lasted.


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## she_sells_seashells (Nov 13, 2010)

Definitely! I really wanted it to just be over and done with because everyone kept going on about how special virginity is. I didn't want the guy I'd lose it to to make a big huge deal out of it because it wasn't to me, and I really never liked commitment and romance and all that, but I didn't want to just lose it to anyone.


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## TheSeer91 (Nov 2, 2010)

still a virgin but i've never really thought about having sex that much but im anxious to have my first girlfriend.


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## kallisti (Oct 7, 2010)

Hm. I thought that this anxiety mostly affected men, but I'm seeing a lot of posts in here by other females...

I wasn't exactly anxious to do it, but I got it into my head that I wanted to and so I did. I wish I had waited longer and for a different person now, but we learn from experiences...


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## zyzzyva (Nov 19, 2010)

No. Out of all the worries and anxieties I had in my teenage years having sex didn't really stand out as being that important. Certainly didn't feel any pressure to get it over and done with.


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## Onomatopoeia (Nov 2, 2010)

I was extremely eager to have sex when I was in middle school and highschool, but I waited until college to do the deed. There was never any pressure, though; I just have a really high libido. All through highschool, I had a lot of "what if's" going through my head about sex and pregnancy. What if the condom broke and my birth control failed, what if I get an STD, and so on. I just didn't think I was responsible enough to deal with those consequences. 
I finally lost it to a coworker (one night stand, I initiated) when I was 18, and it was absolutely incredible. It wasn't awkward, traumatic, or painful at all.


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## Hokahey (Oct 8, 2010)

Monte said:


> Sex is a bit over-hyped, but at least it's fun.


Best quote ever...  To respond to the original post, no didn't really phase me, didn't happen for me till I was 22.


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## Jerick (Mar 19, 2010)

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> I'm short and don't really speak the native languages.


Doesn't matter. Just talk to normal girls. Europeans are usually a lot more open about sex.

Hiring a prostitute to lose your virginity is pointless. Nothing magical happens, or changes. Basically, you'll spend some money, have an unsatisfactory 30-60 minutes, and then be back to square one.


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## SyndiCat (Oct 2, 2010)

Anxious to rush into it or just plain anxious when it comes to sex?


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## Obsidean (Mar 24, 2010)

Sex was one of the last thing on my mind when I was a young teenager and it pretty much still is today...


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## pacifythis (Jul 16, 2009)

I was anxious to lose mine in highschool. I was extremely curious about sex since an early age. Plus, during high school I was pretty shy and socially akward, which made it more difficult. I finally hooked up with a girl when I was 16, she took my virginity and I didn't really feel much different than before I had sex lol.(I didn't feel more or less of a man) All I felt was that it was fun lol, yet akward, but the akwardness wore off after a few more times.


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## Apollo Celestio (Mar 10, 2010)

I had a "it'll happen when it happens" mindset.


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## nolabel (Jan 3, 2011)

No, I wasn't aware of other humans in my younger years. All their faces were a blur including my parents'.


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## wisdom (Dec 31, 2008)

No. Don't care much about the sex act now, either. Since my teens, I have been fairly interested in vague sexual touching.


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## lirulin (Apr 16, 2010)

No, not really.
Peer pressure was never an issue, though, which may have helped.
But I always insisted I wanted to be a crazy cat lady then. I was really annoyed when a few people still hit on me after that. Can't you take the hint? Sigh.


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## Socrates (Feb 1, 2010)

Younger years? It happened two years ago, at the decidedly not young age of 18.

No, I wasn't nervous. I was not attracted to her and just took it as an opportunity to lose my virginity, because, at that time, it appeared as if I would remain one forever otherwise. I might have, too. Never know.

It was boring, stale, tiring, and I never got off. Ta-da. Not a nervous experience, though. Not at all.


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## SuperDevastation (Jun 7, 2010)

No I wasn't anxious to lose my virginity as a teenager, and I'm still not.


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## HorribleAesthete (Aug 5, 2010)

I would not say that it was the driving impetus of my life, though I certainly did not miss it once it was gone. I most definitely wanted to experiment with sex and all that it entails, but did not give much thought to virginity. I did not place a great import on it, either my own or that of others, or as Robert Heinlein said, "I regard virginity as a correctable perversity, or no consequence."


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## fairytales (Nov 15, 2010)

Yes!! Actually, no. I used to worry about never being kissed and got more and more jealous of friends who had their first kiss. I was 15/16 when it finally happened.
Sex not so much, it just happened when it happened.


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## viva (Aug 13, 2010)

I really wasn't. When I was younger, I thought I would wait until I got married. Hahahaa lolz. I ended up losing it a couple months before I turned 17. That's really young, in my eyes, but I did love him at the time.


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## s0n1c800m (Dec 6, 2010)

No, but I had a very high libido.
I didn't really date until I was 20, and had always been pretty satisfied with masturbation prior to that. Then I started dating my first girlfriend, and it was a natural progression of the relationship.
Oddly, the first man I had sex with (at 22) insisted that I was still a virgin if I'd not slept with a man. I told him that was ridiculous since I didn't feel virginal about it. Something like, "A cherry is a cherry; you only get one."


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## AussieChick (Dec 27, 2010)

Yes i was very anxious in my teens.I was molested by two people from the age of 8-16 and one of them said that he was going to have sex with me when i came of age at 18.I was very fearful of this happening but it never did.I could have lost my virginity at age 20 to my boyfriend but panicked and got cold feet at the last moment before it happened.He dumped me soon after citing lack of commitment on my part.It took another 3 years and a complete stranger (my blind date)for me to go that far.It was a huge relief at 23 after thinking that i was frigid and was going to be left on the shelf forever.It was a most beautiful experience,and there has only been one other time that i felt anything like i did that night.


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## vel (May 17, 2010)

No, in teens I was freaking out that I will never have a relationship but didn't worry at all about the sex component of it.


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## kiwigrl (Apr 27, 2010)

No, I spent much of my teens slapping hands away! I never felt that I had to prove anything and I was comfortable with who I was (on my own).


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## Arbite (Dec 26, 2010)

Havn't lost it, don't really care when I do. Done pretty much everything but, and to be frank, it doesn't really interest me that much.


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## Mokona (Feb 8, 2010)

Sex? Haha! :laughing:

Srsly, when I read responses like "left behind" and "on the shelf forever" it makes me sad because I feel like this is all I'll ever get from life. Among all the females I know I'm "the last one." My friends have had boyfriends for years, or several boyfriends, or are engaged, or married. I have never had anyone, never had sex, never been kissed.

I used to care, not in my teens, but when I was nearing 20 and up till now, I guess (I'm 23 now). I cared so much, not because of the peer pressure, but because my virginity is the physical, explicitly existing symbol of the fact that no one ever wanted me.

I don't care anymore. After all those years thinking about relationships...

14: :crazy: Yay! Waiting for my prince!
16: :crazy: Still waiting!
18: :laughing: Uh, where are you, prince? :wink:
19: :happy: Prince?
20: :happy: Hello?
21: :mellow: Um, what's wrong?
22: :mellow: Um...
23: :frustrating: Go away.

I think I pretty much accepted that a relationship is going to remain an abstract concept in my life. I enjoy thinking about my future boyfriend, but well, I don't think I actually believe that he would happen. Like dreaming about walking on the moon while You clearly realize You'll never do this :wink:

The acceptance is a good thing, though. I no longer want to lose my virginity. I no longer wait. I'm just resigned, but it has brought me peace of mind instead of anxiety and frustration which the prolonged waiting used to bring. Like when You desperately fight for sth and after years You finally realize there's nothing You can do and that You can't possibly win, so You just stop fighting and walk away. It's relaxing and takes off the pressure and the stress :happy:


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## Philosophaser Song Boy (Jan 16, 2011)

Was and still am. Not for the aspect of merely losing it, but for experiencing AND SHARING another form of affection: an addictive feeling to me.


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## emiline (Mar 4, 2011)

I'm more anxious about finding someone, falling in love, getting married. Yes, I want to give that part of me to my husband, and I look forward to the honeymoon, but that's not the part that I am anxious about. I haven't really ever dated or even been kissed - not that there weren't opportunities, but definitely no one that I could really see myself marrying, and so therefore, no one I would consider dating. 

I worry more about finding a someone to share my life with - someone with the same core values, faith. Someone who will put up with my crap. Someone who I can feel completely comfortable with and let my guard down. Someone I could raise children with. Someone whose integrity and intellect I respect enough to not-always-have-to-be-right - someone whose opinion I can trust above my own.

Maybe that's a tall order, maybe I'm picky. Or, maybe I just don't want to waste my time, my energy, and my heart on someone who isn't what I need.


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## Zdorobot (Dec 19, 2010)

I wasn't really anxious. Just curious as to when the opportunity would present itself and whether it would feel as good as it's hyped up to be.


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## StandingTiger (Dec 25, 2010)

I think many of you need to a few more years experience of banging to really enjoy it.

It's all pretty awkward in high school, but wait until you're an adult. It gets really fun. I promise.

To respond to the OP, it's always awkward your first time, and it would be strange to not feel anxious. It seems like a big deal, but, at the same time, it's not. You'll never forget it, but don't put too much pressure on yourself. It only goes uphill from there, and your younger relations will be hilarious to you later on.


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## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

Yes.

But only because I was so anxious to be 'normal'.
(Thanks for making me feel alienated, parents...)


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## Out0fAmmo (Nov 30, 2010)

Meh, I've been single my whole life. I'm a little bitter about it now, because everyone else patronizes me over it. I'm 22.

Still waiting :frustrating:


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## Philosophaser Song Boy (Jan 16, 2011)

Out0fAmmo said:


> Meh, I've been single my whole life. I'm a little bitter about it now, because everyone else patronizes me over it. I'm 22.
> 
> Still waiting :frustrating:


Same boat. I completely understand.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

17, nearly 18, and quite anxious to get some.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> 17, nearly 18, and quite anxious to get some.


I hope this anxiety doesn't affect you too much, especially over something that really isn't that important. How does it affect your life, especially regarding school?


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## L'Empereur (Jun 7, 2010)

20, nearly 21, and quite anxious to get some.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

L'Empereur said:


> 20, nearly 21, and quite anxious to get some.


I hope this anxiety doesn't affect you too much, especially....

Seriously, why are you and others so anxious? Do you think it's due to societal expectations and pressures that males face regarding sex?


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

skycloud86 said:


> I hope this anxiety doesn't affect you too much, especially....
> 
> Seriously, why are you and others so anxious? Do you think it's due to societal expectations and pressures that males face regarding sex?


There is a lot more pressure on males than females to lose their virginity. To the anxious guys, I think it's quite silly to make such a big deal out of sex, it's not like your penis will fall off. It stays there regardless, unless you contract an STI from unprotected sex, and then it literally falls off. I'm sure as males your excuse might be, "My sex drive is higher" - honey, baby, sweetheart, you aren't a woman, you don't ovulate. Don't assume things based on biological sex. It's not something you can really measure with a number anyway. I could say on a scale of 1 to 10 that my sex drive goes up to 11, that doesn't even make sense.

My recommendation, don't blame others if you can't get laid. If you've been doing the same thing for years to no avail, you're doing something wrong. Stop playing so many damned video games.


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## Elwin (Feb 17, 2011)

I remember the first year and a half or so of HS there wasn't much flak, but by age 16 the social pressure really started to get bad.


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## Novalis (Feb 17, 2011)

I used to worry about it a bit when I was in my teens. In those days I used to think no one would ever want me and I'd be alone forever. I even entertained the idea that if I never did find someone I could always find a prostitute. :shocked:

That changed, eventually. I matured a lot in my early twenties, and realised how idiotic the whole idea was. My view on the subject took an about-face. I still think it's possible I'll be alone forever, but if I am, it will be because I don't meet anyone right for me.

I'm 23 now. I've never kissed anyone, or held hands, or anything like that. And while I would certainly like to do those things, I'm not going to compromise my standards in order get them. Really, I'd far rather be alone than with the wrong person. If the right person comes along, then I'll have sex. If she doesn't, then I won't. I'm not settling, thank you very much.

Virgin, and proud of it. 

And for the record, I'm not asexual. Not even close.


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## Thrifty Walrus (Jul 8, 2010)

Yeah I suppose I was, but I don't really get why people make such a big deal out of it in my opinion. There's really no reason not to just go out and be young and do it, but for some reason people get really up tight about it. In the end I've only ever had sex with one girl and I still catch flak for that! So in the end you'll always catch flak no matter if you're a virgin or not so there's no reason to force it if you don't want to. In the end I think it's important to remember that it should be fun, so don't put it on this huge pedestal, or it will forever be tainted with unrealistic expectations.


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