# Fe vs Fi



## Stramela (Jan 18, 2016)

I am becoming a bit confused on this

My reason for asking has to do with my mother, I have perceived her to be an Fe-dom. However, several recent thoughts have made me doubt this. Being that she seems to have formed her own sense of morals when she younger, and many of her beliefs seem separated from the people around her. 

When I first started reading into these functions, it seemed to indicate some kind of difference in these two based on how people interpreted events. Whether they responded to how it effected others or themselves, she responds to how events effects others. I also saw things on how emotive people are, that seems like a difficult thing to measure though. It also painted a rather negative picture of Fi, which seems off balance since it would make more sense that all cognitive functions could be positive or negative depending on use.

I am just confused on how behavior would manifest in an Fi-dom vs an Fe-dom
Sorry if this is bothersome


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## bruh (Oct 27, 2015)

@Stramela General info:
Fe cares about harmony regardless of being true to oneself
Fi cares about being true to oneself regardless of harmony

Fi Fe takes the *same process* as Ti Te


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## penny lane (Nov 21, 2011)

Stramela said:


> I am becoming a bit confused on this
> 
> My reason for asking has to do with my mother, I have perceived her to be an Fe-dom. However, several recent thoughts have made me doubt this. Being that she seems to have formed her own sense of morals when she younger, and many of her beliefs seem separated from the people around her.
> 
> ...



I have had the same thought about my mother. She can seem very Fe but she has a moral code about certain things that she is quite inflexible about and won't make exceptions,where as I might. Another difference is will she seems very Fi when she's upset rarely any emoting ,no pleading ect.

She can be very good to talk to and give helpful advice but I don't think that rules out being Fi.


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## Kitty23 (Dec 27, 2015)

It comes down to where those values originally came from. Fe= external values. Fi= internal values. 

Daenerys Targaryen - MBTI in Fiction

"When she began riding with the Dothraki, she assimilated their values as well, creating a more complex identity and worldview....Her goal of reclaiming the Iron Throne is motivated by the desire to bring peace and stability to Westeros rather than a personal desire of “I deserve this”. Daenerys will always think “they need me” before anything else."


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## Kitty23 (Dec 27, 2015)




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## Stramela (Jan 18, 2016)

Kitty23 said:


> It comes down to where those values originally came from. Fe= external values. Fi= internal values.
> 
> Daenerys Targaryen - MBTI in Fiction
> 
> "When she began riding with the Dothraki, she assimilated their values as well, creating a more complex identity and worldview....Her goal of reclaiming the Iron Throne is motivated by the desire to bring peace and stability to Westeros rather than a personal desire of “I deserve this”. Daenerys will always think “they need me” before anything else."





Kitty23 said:


>



Wow, the more I learn about this, the more I think she actually uses Fi. 
In the first video, he said that harmony can be a value an Fi user holds, that is interesting. It is also something that was giving me trouble, but if harmony can be a value (that never occurred to me), it just clears up all the confusion I was having. Because she tends to value harmony, but at the same time it never changes her views on things. It also seems to vary on the group she would be harmonizing with (if it is family she is more likely to try to harmonize), as well as the exact principle it concerns. 

Certain conversations and stories tend to stick in my head about her, one being the fact that she said when she younger she used to feel that she had deserved certain unfortunate circumstances. Although, that seems like a child not realizing anything else was possible. She said that when she had her first child, she realized from just looking at them that they were innocent. That it meant that everything she had experienced she hadn't deserved, because she too had been an innocent child. Apparently, she caused some disruption over that realization 

She also seems less emotive (when I was really trying to pay attention to this), she says she had to work on that because people would always think she was upset. 

Also, the other functions, because she seems both like an intuitive who uses Si. I mean that she shows behaviors of Si, but not only has she stated that she had to work on many of the benefits that sensing provides, she also immediately responds in an abstract fashion. 
Rather, she comes up with weird things and I come up with weird things and we understand each other, but my father looks at us like we have grown multiple heads. She has also stated that talking to me makes her feel "normal". So, I was having a lot of trouble trying to tell which ExFJ she would have been since I was trying to give her Si, but also make her have higher intuition than sensing. 

Therefore, if she is Fi-dom, that would basically clear all of the confusion I was having. So, thank you and sorry for the needlessly long post


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## VagrantFarce (Jul 31, 2015)

The difference between Fi and Fe isn't which values you focus on - it's how you understand those values to emerge into the world.


Fi is an _internalised_ barometer - that sense of right or wrong, of good or bad, is understood to be fundamentally subjective, as emerging from the individual. _It actively separates people_, and helps to define them as individuals.


Fe is much more of a social rulebook - it's circumstantial, and purpose-driven. "Doing your part" means aligning to emotional values as is required. From this perspective, "values" are something we adopt and champion, on behalf of a greater good.


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## Kitty23 (Dec 27, 2015)

> Wow, the more I learn about this, the more I think she actually uses Fi.
> In the first video, he said that harmony can be a value an Fi user holds, that is interesting.


Yes, Fe and Fi can both have the exact same values, but it's where those values originally came from that separates the two. 



> She also seems less emotive (when I was really trying to pay attention to this), she says she had to work on that because people would always think she was upset.


So probably Fi or/and thinking for her. Fi emotions go inwards and Fe's emotions go outwards. So Fe users tend to come off as more bubbly and more emotionally expressive than Fi users do. 



> Also, the other functions, because she seems both like an intuitive who uses Si. I mean that she shows behaviors of Si, but not only has she stated that she had to work on many of the benefits that sensing provides, she also immediately responds in an abstract fashion.
> Rather, she comes up with weird things and I come up with weird things and we understand each other, but my father looks at us like we have grown multiple heads. She has also stated that talking to me makes her feel "normal". So, I was having a lot of trouble trying to tell which ExFJ she would have been since I was trying to give her Si, but also make her have higher intuition than sensing.


Sounds like maybe you two use Ne? Maybe INFP= Fi, Ne, Si, Te, for her. It also sounds like your dad uses no or low Ne. 



> Therefore, if she is Fi-dom, that would basically clear all of the confusion I was having. So, thank you and sorry for the needlessly long post


Yes, it sounds like dominant Fi is a good possibility for her. You're welcome and no, please don't be sorry!


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## Kitty23 (Dec 27, 2015)

By the way I love your avatar. I have a little brown and white long haired Chihuahua myself.


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## Aurus (Jan 8, 2016)

The people that posted in here already gave perfect explanations and examples.
But it's pretty much like this:
Fi = What is important to you individually. Fi is more "individualistic" than Fe.
Fe = What matters to you cannot overpower what matters to the rest of the world. Fe is more "altruistic" than Fi.
But note that if you have either Fi or Fe in a "strong" position, you will be both individualistic and altruistic.


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## penny lane (Nov 21, 2011)

Even when I'm quite and lowkey I'm animated in fact if I'm not people notice and ask what is wrong.It might be nothing or it could be something either way if they know me well they will notice my mood is different.


Another way to look at is do you use Te or Ti. If something doesn't make sense to me I question why. I use my internal logic to analyze why it's wrong or doesn't make sense. That took past early childhood for me to use it well.


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## ferroequinologist (Jul 27, 2012)

Stramela said:


> I am becoming a bit confused on this
> 
> My reason for asking has to do with my mother, I have perceived her to be an Fe-dom. However, several recent thoughts have made me doubt this. Being that she seems to have formed her own sense of morals when she younger, and many of her beliefs seem separated from the people around her.
> 
> ...


To me, the biggest difference between Fe and Fi is where and how they affect influence. Fe seeks to change or affect the feeling tone of the environment around it. It focuses on the object--not self. It is not just about everybody feeling good, but simply desires to change the feeling tone around it, or focuses on it, rather than on the internal. Or you could put it this way, in order to change the internal feeling tone, the environment must be changed. In other words, the feeling tone around it has the greater impact, and is consciously impacted.

Fi, on the other hand, focuses on the internal feeling tone, to the exclusion of, or lack of focus on the feeling tone around it. It tends to feel what it feels independently, and regardless of the environment. Or maybe it would be better to say it this way. It is more consciously aware of of the internal state than the external state, and more consciously seeks to control the internal state, regardless of the environment, or maybe even in spite of the environment. 

The upshot is that Fe directly approaches impacting of the feeling environment, while Fi is indirect in its approach to the environment. Sometimes, this may mean that Fe is less expressive than Fi, and that Fe can actually feel less impacting than Fi, but that is because Fi will burst forth in an inappropriate expression of feeling that it is unaware of, but which is interpreted as an attempt to impact via emotions. 

One could also say it this way. To Fe, emotions are a means of communicating (both the vehicle and the payload), while for Fi, emotions are an individual's matter, not a means to affect others, or the feelings around them. 

I think the key to observing this is to ask yourself if your mother seeks to improve the feelings of those around her--do you feel "pulled" or drawn in. If you only ever observe negative feelings, or feel "pushed" in negative ways, then she may be an Fi type. 

One other point, as I think about INFPs. FJ types tend to work for consensus first, when "recruiting." But INFPs tend to "champion" a cause. Think of it this way. An Fe type will be marching with the troops, while the INFP will be marching out in front. ;-)


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