# I am horribly lonely.



## Slagasauras (Jun 26, 2013)

Bon Soir all of you other internet traveler's.

I'll cut to the chase rather than beat around the bush, how do/did you all enter a relationship, or rather, find someone who will love you?
Do forgive me if I have put this in the wrong friend, but seeing as how I thought it was more of an advice oriented question, I didn't see the logic to putting it in Sex and Relationships.


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

I talk to people on the internet. I'm too afraid to talk to people irl and I think that's the reason I don't have any irl friends or relationships. 

OkCupid is a good place to try, I find a lot of girls there who are interested in me, but I usually have trouble holding their interest.


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## Wellsy (Oct 24, 2011)

I don't seek out romantic relationships, i merely try and find the people that I click with, whom I enjoy, things follow naturally, to which you decide if want to cross certain bridges when you come to them in a amicable discussion of what each one thinks.

Sometimes I simply just ask, after all the banter and stuff I've inquired to one's intentions, their feelings, it's direct and I get a answer to find out if there's anything mutual there, if not can still remain friends press on, if so can move in another direction.
It's just all having enjoyable interactions, some people just happen to be the type that you can pursue greater intimacy with and I feel it flows naturally though with a little effort.


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

love us? u mean our mudders?
who da fuck could love us 
and more Importantly why
good gawd man have you seen us?
they got me locked up in a heavily guarded, secure basement 20 miles underground 
worst part is i got no windows to lick, wtf


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Yoohoo Larry said:


> Bon Soir all of you other internet traveler's.
> 
> I'll cut to the chase rather than beat around the bush, how do/did you all enter a relationship, or rather, find someone who will love you?
> 
> Do forgive me if I have put this in the wrong friend, but seeing as how I thought it was more of an advice oriented question, I didn't see the logic to putting it in Sex and Relationships.


Put yourself out there. A lot. Get shot down. A lot. Keep putting yourself out there. A lot.


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## Scrabbletray (Apr 27, 2014)

Adopt a cat! :kitteh:


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## Psychophant (Nov 29, 2013)

No, dogs are much better.


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## Emerald Legend (Jul 13, 2010)

a1b2c3d4 said:


> Adopt a cat! :kitteh:





Yomiel said:


> No, dogs are much better.


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

Yomiel said:


> No, dogs are much better.


Cats are better.
Low maintenance, don't need to walk them, and you can throw them around and they always land on their feet!

#psychopathic


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## Psychophant (Nov 29, 2013)

Metasentient said:


> Cats are better.
> Low maintenance, don't need to walk them, and you can throw them around and they always land on their feet!
> 
> #psychopathic


Cats are evil. They view you as a big, stupid, and inept cat and treat you as such. Dogs genuinely love you and will play with you.. and they're cuter. More work, but worth it.


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

Yomiel said:


> Cats are evil. They view you as a big, stupid, and inept cat and treat you as such. Dogs genuinely love you and will play with you.. and they're cuter. More work, but worth it.


That's just your opinion... some cats are the spawn of Satan, and others act like dogs in cats' bodies (hey, that's stereotyping, attributing "dog" qualities to cats just because they're positive (check yer privilege)). 

Cats are independent creatures. Dogs are just ... slobbery and co-dependent.


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## General Lee Awesome (Sep 28, 2014)

tanstaafl28 said:


> Put yourself out there. A lot. Get shot down. A lot. Keep putting yourself out there. A lot.


this is very true. no matter of nice of a person you are, if you do not put you out there, nothing will come out of it. people with less potential as you can have more friends, just because they put themselves out there. I am an introvert, so I know how it feels. but let me tell you, if you fear judgement from people, that fear really have no grounds. despite popular belief, most people are pretty decent. it all depend on where you want to go. depends on your passion, you can join some like minded people and take some classes. for example I like cooking, so I took some cooking class on foreign foods. not only did I have a good time, I also tried different types of food we made xD. 

also when I first start to go to gym, I was terribly afraid of being judged, or laughed at, but honestly people there are the most encouraging people I met, and they were also super friendly. They love to see other people trying to be healthier. 

so do not be afraid to go out there. =p,

you can always message me if you need anything xD


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## Slagasauras (Jun 26, 2013)

johnson.han.3 said:


> this is very true. no matter of nice of a person you are, if you do not put you out there, nothing will come out of it. people with less potential as you can have more friends, just because they put themselves out there. I am an introvert, so I know how it feels. but let me tell you, if you fear judgement from people, that fear really have no grounds. despite popular belief, most people are pretty decent. it all depend on where you want to go. depends on your passion, you can join some like minded people and take some classes. for example I like cooking, so I took some cooking class on foreign foods. not only did I have a good time, I also tried different types of food we made xD.
> 
> also when I first start to go to gym, I was terribly afraid of being judged, or laughed at, but honestly people there are the most encouraging people I met, and they were also super friendly. They love to see other people trying to be healthier.
> 
> so do not be afraid to go out there. =p,


I am confused as to what you both mean with: 'putting yourself out there'?


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## General Lee Awesome (Sep 28, 2014)

Yoohoo Larry said:


> I am confused as to what you both mean with: 'putting yourself out there'?


haha, dw worry, I do not mean take a crane and literally put yourself outside. It means that, you need to let other people to get to know you, and like you for who you are. to do that, you need to interact with other people while still being yourself.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Yoohoo Larry said:


> I am confused as to what you both mean with: 'putting yourself out there'?


Stop hiding. Go out, be amongst people. Talk to them. Do this even if it hurts.


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## Wulfex (Oct 9, 2014)

johnson.han.3 said:


> haha, dw worry, I do not mean take a crane and literally put yourself outside. It means that, you need to let other people to get to know you, and like you for who you are. to do that, you need to interact with other people while still being yourself.


I hear this mantra a lot, but every time I'm like "I'm going to do it! I'm going to socialize, etc!" I never know where or what to do. lol The cooking class is an interesting thought but are there any other types of activities you would recommend?

Bars and clubs are just too... bleh. Everyone there is putting on an act to get laid and I hate it... 

Hopefully this could also give @Yoohoo Larry some tips too!


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## General Lee Awesome (Sep 28, 2014)

Wulfex said:


> I hear this mantra a lot, but every time I'm like "I'm going to do it! I'm going to socialize, etc!" I never know where or what to do. lol The cooking class is an interesting thought but are there any other types of activities you would recommend?
> 
> Bars and clubs are just too... bleh. Everyone there is putting on an act to get laid and I hate it...
> 
> Hopefully this could also give @Yoohoo Larry some tips too!


it really depend on what you like doing. the reason why I point out that you have to be yourself is that its very easy to act like someone else, but thats fake. 

maybe you guys should sleep on it, and write some stuff down tmr. you guys are the dreamers after all. think while you sleep types LMAO.


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## kiwig0ld (Nov 7, 2010)

Go somewhere(library, cafe, ice cream shop) and wait a second. Then right when you think, "why am I here?" a girl will pop up, go talk to her. I won't be your only chance, but if you don't shoot, you probably won't score... but it can happen.


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## Scrabbletray (Apr 27, 2014)

kiwig0ld said:


> Go somewhere(library, cafe, ice cream shop) and wait a second. Then right when you think, "why am I here?" a girl will pop up, go talk to her. I won't be your only chance, but if you don't shoot, you probably won't score... but it can happen.


And then that girl will think, "why is this creep talking to me while I'm trying to buy my coffee?, I don't even know him" and try to make up an excuse to leave ASAP. Probably better off getting involved in social activities with women, not just hitting on any hot woman you randomly happen to see walking by.


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## bigstupidgrin (Sep 26, 2014)

As far as romantic loneliness goes, I'll second the OKCupid recommendation. Met my wifey on it.

As far as non-romantic loneliness goes, two options: go volunteer somewhere (it feels good and even if it doesn't, you're helping people), or take hobby X and meet people who also enjoy hobby X. 

BTW Cats>Dogs


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## Slagasauras (Jun 26, 2013)

I'm gay mang.


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## Word Dispenser (May 18, 2012)

My best advice is to be patient. I'd say _don't _put yourself out there and go after someone when there is no foundation to build from.

Make friendships with those of similar interests and goals. Wait for them to blossom. Don't expect it, just let it happen, and it will. 

You will live with less regrets this way.

Just be in love with what you're doing with your life-- Do what you love, and love finds you. You won't feel lonely when you allow that to happen, without expectations.


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## Slagasauras (Jun 26, 2013)

Alright, thanks for replying everyone. I made an OkCupid profile--let's hope there won't be three of me in two dumpsters.
Also I'll keep my eye out and try to 'put myself out there'. Thanks!


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## Slagasauras (Jun 26, 2013)

Word Dispenser said:


> My best advice is to be patient. I'd say _don't _put yourself out there and go after someone when there is no foundation to build from.
> 
> Make friendships with those of similar interests and goals. Wait for them to blossom. Don't expect it, just let it happen, and it will.
> 
> ...


^Best advice so far imo


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## kiwig0ld (Nov 7, 2010)

a1b2c3d4 said:


> And then that girl will think, "why is this creep talking to me while I'm trying to buy my coffee?, I don't even know him" and try to make up an excuse to leave ASAP.


 @Yoohoo Larry try it and get back to us. Just don't run up to her with the face on your avatar.


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## Slagasauras (Jun 26, 2013)

kiwig0ld said:


> @_Yoohoo Larry_ try it and get back to us. Just don't run up to her with the face on your avatar.


I should remind you all that a) I am gay and b) (see attachment)


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## freeeekyyy (Feb 16, 2010)

No relationship will heal your loneliness, ultimately.


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## chanteuse (May 30, 2014)

I like meetup.com

I went to activities I liked and had generally a good time. I met a lot of ppl from meetup activities, too. You can host your own Meetup group if you can find one in your area. 

I just wanted to hike, backpack, and get fit, not to find love. But I met the person I like very much from Meetup activities (we are dating). It's a pretty big side benefit if you ask me.


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## Glenda Gnome Starr (May 12, 2011)

You are hilarious.
I will help you escape.



vinniebob said:


> love us? u mean our mudders?
> who da fuck could love us
> and more Importantly why
> good gawd man have you seen us?
> ...


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## Kebachi (May 27, 2014)

My husband and I met online back when we were teens (we're in our early 30's now), and we've always been good friends. We both were only in one relationship prior to getting together and we had our break ups around the same time. We had a lot of the same issues with our exes and wondered why we didn't just get together. The rest is history, we've been together for 6 years now. Once we decided to start dating it didn't take long to cut out that long distance stuff and just move in together 

Honestly, the person you might date could be a good long term friend of yours who you would be great with. I think it's best to know someone before dating as you know what you're getting into. There's always that fear of: "If this goes south it'll destroy our friendship." but if you feel something it's well worth the risk. Besides that, if you're both mature individuals there's no reason why you can't still get along just because dating didn't work out. I'm actually still good friends with my ex, hell we get along better as friends XD


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## Kebachi (May 27, 2014)

Yomiel said:


> Cats are evil.


Human morality, hoh~
Also generic regurgitated stereotype, hoh~



Yomiel said:


> They view you as a big, stupid, and inept cat and treat you as such.


While dogs view you as the alpha they must obey or they will die. 



Yomiel said:


> Dogs genuinely love you


Debatable. 



Yomiel said:


> and will play with you.. and they're cuter. More work, but worth it.


Cuteness is subjective. 
More work and only worth it if that's what you're into. 

Anyways, I like both dogs and cats but can't live with dogs due to allergies. I have slight allergies to cats, but since they're much cleaner animals I rarely have problems.

My cat likes to follow me for a bit when I go on walks, she loves cuddling up against me, never scratches or bites unless we're playing with THE SOCK (yes, they also like to play) and she talks a lot. We've held entire conversations, she's very astute:

Me: "Kippy, who's your favorite Chinese general?"
Kippy: "Mao!"
Me: "That's right."

A few nights ago I had some preggie issues, woke up at 4 am, lots of throw up. Guess who came running home? Kippy. Night time is usually when she's nowhere to be found because she wants to be outside, but she came home just to snuggle up against me until I was ready to go back to sleep.

Animals are individuals just like people are. Honestly sick and tired of all the stupid cat vs dog BS. It's so dumb and overplayed, even as a joke. Sorry for derailing the thread, I feel pretty passionately about the subject. I hate for a person or animal to be discriminated against due to ignorance. I've seen some ugly things happen as a result. I always feel like I have to be extra protective of my cat because of all the violent cat haters out there in the world.


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## aef8234 (Feb 18, 2012)

Yoohoo Larry said:


> Alright, thanks for replying everyone. I made an OkCupid profile--let's hope there won't be three of me in two dumpsters.
> Also I'll keep my eye out and try to 'put myself out there'. Thanks!


It has good entertainment via personality tests using pseudopsychology and references. It's good on my book too.



Yoohoo Larry said:


> I'm gay mang.


Go join a club at school? Iunno. Maybe join a... dojo? Gym? Club?
ACTUALLY, join an activity forum, like a forum for urban explorers, rock climbers.
Being fit helps with sex a lot too. SO TWO BIRDS WITH.. A CATAPAULT.
But honestly, I haven't met a lot of gay people anywhere, so... you're REALLY going to need to try, reaaally hard.


a1b2c3d4 said:


> And then that girl will think, "why is this creep talking to me while I'm trying to buy my coffee?, I don't even know him".


People actually think that? People don't think that... do they?
Eh, irrelevant.


freeeekyyy said:


> No relationship will heal your loneliness, ultimately.


I hate quoting things. But whatever.

*LORD, WE KNOW THERE IS NO GOOD ORDER EXCEPT THAT WHICH WE CREATE...
THERE IS NO HOPE BUT US. THERE IS NO MERCY BUT US. THERE IS NO JUSTICE. THERE IS JUST US.
ALL THINGS THAT ARE, ARE OURS. BUT WE MUST CARE. FOR IF WE DO NOT CARE, WE DO NOT EXIST. IF WE DO NOT EXIST, THEN THERE IS NOTHING BUT BLIND OBLIVION.
AND EVEN OBLIVION MUST END ONE DAY. LORD, WILL YOU GRANT ME JUST A LITTLE TIME? FOR THE PROPER BALANCE OF THINGS. TO RETURN WHAT WAS GIVEN. FOR THE SAKE OF PRISONERS AND THE FLIGHT OF BIRDS.
LORD, WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN? *


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## Notus Asphodelus (Jan 20, 2015)

Don't think too much about being in an exclusive relationship yet. You'll get disappointed. Just get yourself into a lot of activities that involve people. You'll meet like-minded individuals out there.. Join a community club of whatever that interest you.


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## Lesuhlee (Feb 14, 2015)

@yoohoolarry I get it.

I'm gay, black, republican, and a workaholic.. What about any of that screams "I'm the one?' Nothing!

Evidently life has decided I'm vetted for being chronically single.

I don't focus on it. I pour myself into career development, building myself financially, and looking damn good-- appearances mean a lot.

And it's a numbers game, I am who I am and the woman who can handle it and complement it will come. Or she won't. Either way I'll be fine. I'm Gettin mine.

I don't need sex; I'm take it or leave it. I have friends; companionship isn't an issue. So I'm fine.

You gotta get yourself to a point where you're happy in yourself; if not there's not a damn thing someone else is gonna do for you.


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## aef8234 (Feb 18, 2012)

Lesuhlee said:


> @yoohoolarry I get it.
> 
> I'm gay, black, republican, and a workaholic.. What about any of that screams "I'm the one?' Nothing!
> 
> ...


And that is what people mean when they say you just have to be confident.


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## Slagasauras (Jun 26, 2013)

aef8234 said:


> It has good entertainment via personality tests using pseudopsychology and references. It's good on my book too.
> 
> 
> Go join a club at school? Iunno. Maybe join a... dojo? Gym? Club?
> ...


Yes, I know haha xD. I'm going to have try really hard, we're such a minority. Thanks for your reply haha.


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## Slagasauras (Jun 26, 2013)

Lesuhlee said:


> @yoohoolarry I get it.
> 
> I'm gay, black, republican, and a workaholic.. What about any of that screams "I'm the one?' Nothing!
> 
> ...


You. YOU. YOU. YES. YOU UNDERSTAND. YES. NO ONE. NO ONE HAS UNDERSTOOD. I AM SO HAPPY. 
YOU WORK IT GIRL. YOU WORK THAT AVATAR TOO.


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## Psychophant (Nov 29, 2013)

Kebachi said:


> Human morality, hoh~
> Also generic regurgitated stereotype, hoh~
> 
> 
> ...


Noted.


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## cheburashka (Jan 4, 2013)

this is a really good question because so often finding friends and new people is sort of spontaneous and unpredictable; the circumstances that got me into my closest friendships today are not really paths that can be easily pinpointed and repeated. 
i really like the advice of exploring the internet/talking to people on it. when i am lonely i find that going on forums like perc and expressing myself where i know others will see what i say is really helpful. otherwise, i would say just keep trying to connect with the people around you, and always be accepting. i could have made so many more friendships if i had always just been willing to go with the flow and listen to others. good luck.


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## cardinalfire (Dec 10, 2009)

I met friends, through work, through other friends, and through wanting to be in a band and finding adverts for musicians. So I can vouch for the finding an activity you like and meeting people through that. I've been thinking of martial arts and rock climbing and literally I just think 'what haven't I done before? and would like to do in my free time? assuming I got the cash' - I then just search places on the net, book it, and then go along. I went along to a bar a couple of weeks ago and played some board games with some folks, we got along ok, though we didn't stay in touch, and this got me wondering, do we meet certain friends at certain points in our lives? or do we just know who we click with and who we don't?

Location also helps, being in a place where there are many people and opportunities to do that. Also don't discount bars and clubs, if you go out with the intention of having fun, you don't always know who you might meet or what might happen.

Also there isn't anything wrong per se with walking up to a girl or woman or man if you are gay, and telling them they are hot. A lot will take the compliment, just don't expect miracles when you do it. Just doing little things like that can get you out of your comfort zone as a lot of people kind of gawk when they someone they like and think 'well i'll never have a partner like that', if you don't start with the small steps, you won't reach the big ones. Some of it is like keeping fit and exercising it's a muscle you have to work at.


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