# Developing the Fe Function



## ahem (Apr 21, 2015)

This might sound like a ridiculously silly question [advanced apologies]....but...

Allegedly my Fe is "poorly developed" - how do I go about fixing this? 

Are there alternatives to looking like/coming across as though you have a well developed Fe (i.e.: fake it)? I mean, is it really that important to have this function developed as much as the others? Can you 'survive' without developing this?


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## IDontThinkSo (Aug 24, 2011)

Both TI and FE can't be a part of the same personality. You'd need to develop preferences for F and J, which means, you have to give up on being a TP. However, as a TI aux you can develop FI a lot... FI is all passion, kindness and play.


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## Pinina (Jan 6, 2015)

IDontThinkSo said:


> Both TI and FE can't be a part of the same personality. You'd need to develop preferences for F and J, which means, you have to give up on being a TP. However, as a TI aux you can develop FI a lot... FI is all passion, kindness and play.


Eh, wait a minute now. Fe and Ti follows eachother, allways. To have Fe, you need to have Ti. To have Ti, you need to have Fe. It's different sides of the same coin.


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## IDontThinkSo (Aug 24, 2011)

@Pinina they're the opposite angles of a square. Neglecting and distrusting FE is part of TI personality, since TI means that one trusts T over F and P over J.


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## Pinina (Jan 6, 2015)

IDontThinkSo said:


> @Pinina they're the opposite angles of a square. Neglecting and distrusting FE is part of TI personality, since TI means that one trusts T over F and P over J.


As an ESTJ, I have Te and Fi, and I value those functions. Fe and Ti on the other hand, I dislike, prefer not to use, etc. I do neglect Fi, and to some extent I distrust it, but I prefer it before Fe all the time. Fi is weak, aye, but I like it. Honestly, I love it.


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## Stribog (Jul 13, 2012)

Find an XSFJ and ask them all about what goes through their brain, what their emotions are, why they feel the need to say this and that. Often times people have intellectual role models, but fail to see the significance in 'people-y' role models (and so an XSFJ would be thrilled to have a pupil of sorts) It sounds goofy, but that is the path I took to become at least partially functional :tongue: And I have a feeling as your understanding of all of Fe's facets grow, you can then move on to even more advanced 'role models' and concepts


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## EssereValentina (May 11, 2015)

If you are a real ENTP you must develop Fe if you want to feel complete.

Read this books:

How to win friends and influence people - Dale Carnegie
The Charisma Myth - Olivia Fox Cabane
Emotional intelligence - Daniel Goleman

Read first Goleman for theory then Carnegie and Cabane to practice.

You are welcome.


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## ahem (Apr 21, 2015)

@Stribog

I've actually thought of that  I'm meeting with a friend of mine who _was an INTP and is now an INFP - I will ask him what he did. He's sort of explained to me that he had some type of revolution etc. so, we'll see if I can apply that hypotheses to work in my situation. Thanks for the suggestion_


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## ahem (Apr 21, 2015)

EssereValentina said:


> If you are a real ENTP you must develop Fe if you want to feel complete.
> 
> Read this books:
> 
> ...



I've read D. Carnegie's book - I can successfully put it in to practice, however, haven't read the others.

I will order them online today - and in response to the pre-empted thanks...thank you for your suggestion


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## EssereValentina (May 11, 2015)

Let me know if you find them helpful for your purpose 

Inviato dal mio LG-D855 utilizzando Tapatalk


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## IDontThinkSo (Aug 24, 2011)

EssereValentina said:


> If you are a real ENTP you must develop Fe if you want to feel complete.


No.


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## EssereValentina (May 11, 2015)

Why not? 
I read your reasoning before.
Fe is an inferior function and must be developed. Not as a dominant or auxiliar but to help to balance the first two. Commonly this process is called become a mature person.

I tryed all my life to develop a Fe and not a Fi. As an INTJ I became unstable. I can fake some Fe but it is evident that's not natural for me.

The books I suggested are more than valid to understand how people's emotions work and use that information to develop an healthy Fe.

Maybe your goal in life is to become like an unhealthy ESFJ looking for attention? I have some books for that too.


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## reptilian (Aug 5, 2014)

I think all E functions can be either *INPUT *or *OUTPUT*. EXTP has Fe as the output, it is the supporting function to present our ideas to the world. Often we neglect the input, while the ExFJ tend to get high input and output of Fe.

I often reflect on my social interactions, sometimes with delay do I get the truth of whats happening in the group dynamic. I often apologise and explain im bad at the social stuff to people that don't know me, they seem to value that. So it may be more T than F that is considering how group dynamic works, or how other people perceive me, so I can adapt to it.


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## IDontThinkSo (Aug 24, 2011)

EssereValentina said:


> Fe is an inferior function and must be developed. Not as a dominant or auxiliar but to help to balance the first two. Commonly this process is called become a mature person.
> 
> I tryed all my life to develop a Fe and not a Fi. As an INTJ I became unstable. I can fake some Fe but it is evident that's not natural for me.


As an INTJ, you cannot develop FI anyways. Either TI/NE to increase your objectivity at the cost of becoming emotionally numb, or FE to develop your emotional landscape at the cost of losing all objectivity and self control. OF COURSE developping FE is worse, it's a freaking cognitive bias. Not a strength. Don't look at the ENTP situation through your broken lens.

As a metacognitive being, the more you deviate from NP, the less healthy you are : The maturity of **** sapiens is sapiens.

You read too much and think too little.


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## EssereValentina (May 11, 2015)

Can you read?



EssereValentina said:


> Why not?
> I read your reasoning before.
> Fe is an inferior function and must be developed. Not as a dominant or auxiliar but to help to balance the first two. Commonly this process is called become a mature person.


Not as a dominant or auxiliar.

You can develop your inferior functions, they became unhealthy if you don't have a dom-aux enough strong to control your inferiors.
If your inferior is stronger than your superior then the inferior substitutes your superior. But if your auxiliary Ti is enough strong, so there is no reason to not develop Fe. A lack of Fe makes you rude. A well developed Fe makes you charismatic.
You, obviously, lack of Fe. If you had, you'd be able to express your opinion without act like a young maiden having her premestrual syndrom. But maybe it is just my impression of you.

Let me know if it's right.



My sentence about ESFJ doen't make sense. I'm sorry.


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## IDontThinkSo (Aug 24, 2011)

@_EssereValentina_

Functions are not independent skills you can raise like if you were an RPG character.

Judgment functions are not strong, they preferences are and work as opposed sets of addictions. T inhibits F, P inhibits J. Stating that you can develop FJ when TP is strong enough... doesn't make any sense.

Oooh so sorry, my bad, I'm rude and have no charisma ... well I guess it's fine since those are subjective values and have absolutely nothing to do with being healthy.

Yes I gladly don't use FE. Which means I don't manage aggressively my feelings. For your information, hysteria is a FE syndrome, not a lack thereof. At least try to make sense when you mock people.


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## IDontThinkSo (Aug 24, 2011)

Oh well, I'm gonna say it. You girls are too obsessed with FE. And it's a huge mistyping factor.

FE ≠ Feminity. Don't idealize it and move on. Move on.


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## EssereValentina (May 11, 2015)

@IDontThinkSo 
I was considering to not reply you again cause our discussion obviously didn't start in a good way. Besides you are so stady in your point of view and convinced to be in the right side that I thought I wasn't able to make you understand clearly what's my point of view. Then I was reading this article and I found what I was trying to say
http://personalitycafe.com/intj-articles/92838-functional-stack-type-development.html

If you read it, the autor of this article talk in different points of the possibility to develop inferior functions (here of the INTJ) to...how can I say? temper your dom and aux functions? 

Example, talking about Fi:



> The combination of Ni-Fi ideals, along with INTJs’ bent toward perfectionism, can also engender a strong concern for moral rigor and ethical conduct. Endowed with a natural sense of duty, obligation, and responsibility, INTJs often set high moral standards for themselves. They are admired for their moral courage, perseverance, devotion, and loyalty. They practice what they preach, holding fast to their commitments and convictions.
> 
> When stressed or when their Fi is underdeveloped, INTJs are prone to taking things personally. They can seem excessively sensitive, quick to overreact and defend themselves. As INTJs develop and differentiate their Fi, they become less defensive and less apt to take things personally.


Talking about Se


> From a very young age, INTJs enjoy envisioning and planning things. They love imagining an ideal and formulating plans for its actualization. However, because they are perfectionists and are not as gifted as S types when it comes to enactment, the process of actualizing their ideals can be immensely frustrating and disappointing.
> 
> One way of reducing this frustration is for INTJs to learn to appreciate the present moment (Se). Rather than constantly thinking about and planning for the future, INTJs can practice attending to and savoring what is available to them in the present moment. Through a change in perspective (N) they can learn to enjoy the simple pleasures of being and existing (S) that they either ignored or glutted themselves on previously. Rather than always seeing the world as flawed, problem-ridden, and in need of modification, INTJs can learn to see the world and its workings as already beautiful.
> 
> ...


From this article it seems that functions can be developped. I don't think the inferior functions can become natural to use, and I don't think that you can use them fully a function that is not yours even with practice, but I'm sure you can at least be more aware of them and occasionally use them, even if it is very tiring.
And from what I understood studying the theory, J and P functions are extremely related.

Moreover my boyfriend is ESTP and I'm sure he can use Fe.
I am INTJ and I use Se when I draw. It takes me a lot of energy but I can use it.

I don't know if I was able to be clearer this time, but I hope so!



> For your information, hysteria is a FE syndrome, not a lack thereof. At least try to make sense when you mock people.


Yeeeeah yeeeeah you are right, but I won't apologize for a second time.



> Oh well, I'm gonna say it. You girls are too obsessed with FE. And it's a huge mistyping factor.
> 
> FE ≠ Feminity. Don't idealize it and move on. Move on.


Lol, for me it's not a thing about femininity. If you could see my ESTP while he is using Fe to get what he wants you'd see only the great potential of this function.


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## RangerJoe (Nov 26, 2014)

The answer is elegantly simply: go out and spend time with people. Fe structures our emotions in accordance with the external, so therefore the best way to develop the function is to put it into practice in the outside world. I've always believed that the only way to develop the lower functions is through the lenses of the top two functions. Using Ne, might I suggest observing the nuances of body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions at work in movies, plays, or any other type of theatrical performance. Perhaps keep a journal of your thoughts and feelings. Listen to music, or play it if you can. Music is believed to be directly related to the means of which we process human speech through fluctuations in frequency, volume, and tone. Interesting article here: 

Neural overlap in processing music and speech | Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences

Although the results from the numerous studies that attempt to link formal music education directly to emotional intelligence have been mixed, it still stands that the essential beauty and emotional truths to be discovered within the music itself can contain value in the pursuit of the bolstering of emotional skills.

There's no need to "give up" Ti to use Fe. In fact, we could not have one without the other. You can use Ti to inform the direction of the implementation of Fe. Think about people objectively. What do they want? What are they trying to acquire out of this social interaction? What are some common threads evident between this person and me? Should I play the receiver, listen intently, and ask questions? Or is this person more comfortable with listening as I drive the discussion? And so on and so forth.

Many aspects of Fe run parallel to stereotyping. Not necessarily based on race, gender, or economic status, but more like a helpful emotional inference based familiar behavioral links. I wouldn't automatically consider it negative though, because the initial impression is malleable and is used only initially in pursuit of the person's real core. Fe is just able to take many subtle social signals that a person gives off in interaction and use them as springboards to propel the exchange forward and arrive at a closer picture of a person's true emotional state in that moment. For instance, if a person looks away from you as you talk and begins to kind of nod their head, it's probably a sign to begin to close the door on that discussion.

The development of Fe can be godsend for an ENTP, but don't get the impression that one has to overly strain this function to have friends. Fe rituals are the most important in the initial formation of friendship and trust, but once trust is established and the ENTP opens the floor for his or her top two functions, that's when it pays off. So many people are naturally drawn to the inquisitive and enthusiastic nature of the ENTP, and will be swept away in their search for knowledge, insight, and the truth. ENTPs are naturally magnetic types, Fe can just help smooth out the edges.

Another article worth listing:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...1/10-ways-enhance-your-emotional-intelligence


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## ahem (Apr 21, 2015)

RangerJoe said:


> The answer is elegantly simply: go out and spend time with people. Fe structures our emotions in accordance with the external, so therefore the best way to develop the function is to put it into practice in the outside world. I've always believed that the only way to develop the lower functions is through the lenses of the top two functions. Using Ne, might I suggest observing the nuances of body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions at work in movies, plays, or any other type of theatrical performance. Perhaps keep a journal of your thoughts and feelings. Listen to music, or play it if you can. Music is believed to be directly related to the means of which we process human speech through fluctuations in frequency, volume, and tone. Interesting article here:
> 
> Neural overlap in processing music and speech | Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences
> 
> ...


Thank you so much for this - I'm reading the "Emotional Intelligence" book recommend by @EssereValentina I do think you've got a great point - get out there.

I've been cancelling more and more social plans lately. Not for any particular reason other than my brain seems to be actively seeking time alone to read and understand so many things at once, I've forgotten that I still need to go out!

I'll read the articles you posted, thanks for your time in finding and posting these :happy:


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## sjack (Mar 18, 2013)

God I fucking hate Mbti and it's new age hippy faux psychology bullshit and this shithole of a forum


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## Glory (Sep 28, 2013)

Yeah punk!


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## BigApplePi (Dec 1, 2011)

sjack said:


> God I fucking hate Mbti and it's new age hippy faux psychology bullshit and this shithole of a forum


The title of this thread is, "*Developing the Fe Function." * How can one develop their Fe function here if they are kicked off the forum? Fe is supported or supplemented by Ti. Even if Ti is an Fe's inferior function, it can temper and guide Fe. My understanding of those who best lead with Fe is they can control it.

As an INTP, Fe is my inferior function. I've learned that my feelings, both internal and external go into thinking, but so what?


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## lunagattina (Nov 7, 2014)

ok. Can somebody explain me in plain words what does it mean? 
I mean, what developing Fe means.

I know I've problems with my emotions, but what are exactly the problem of an inferior Fe and how a develeped Fe should be?
I don't know if I am at the first stage or if I am quite developed or if there is not hope to improve for me. 

I don't like my emotions, expecially when they are too strong and childish. 
They are disturbing. 
I would prefer to be always just serene and amused by funny things. 
And the emotions disturb this mood. 

First of all it is really difficult to understand that I'm feeling something, what I'm feeling, how strongly and why. 
When I realize it, my first impulse is to ignore those emotions, to distract me with something else (especially if they are not positive).
Then I try to control them. To act logically and rationally. 
It works, until I don't begin to act weird, or the emotions explode and I make something irrational and stupid that make me regret to be born, or (if the emotions are really strong and really disturbing) my mind transfers them on something else and convinces me (and I hate this) that I'm not feeling them, but something else. 
Is it confuse? 
or do you understand what I mean?

This is a NOT developed Fe, is it? 

How a person with a developed Fe would act like? 
I mean, ok, first of all I guess that this person would be able to recognize quickly their emotions. Ok.
Then? 
Being an NT, having a developed Fe means that they would be more able than me in controlling those emotions or that they would be more open in showing them and, instead of fighting them, they would be able to express them in a more proper way? And how the proper way is like?


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## BigApplePi (Dec 1, 2011)

Lunagattina said:


> ok. Can somebody explain me in plain words what does it mean?
> I mean, what developing Fe means.


All those questions you raise I can only guess at answers. It's like asking, what is a developed person, a developed carpenter, a developed dancer? In this case it's emotions. If emotions are just juices flowing around in your body, pushing you this way and that, you are not developed. One would have to have some way to identify what is developed. It would help to identify what the emotion or feeling is. Frenzy sounds out of control. Enjoyment is calmer. Friendliness is an attitude. If there is more than one feeling going on at the same time, it's harder.

Emotions are expressions of what you find valuable. In the case of above, friends are valuable so why not look for them? Enjoyment feels good, so why not go for it, unless the process has something unpleasant coming out of it. Frenzy? I just picked that one out of my hat. Frenzy is great uncontrolled excitement. If one is going to be frenzied, it is best those around you not take advantage to hurt you. It's best what is exciting be worth it.

How about naming some experiences with emotions or feelings and ew can see what can be said about that?


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## reptilian (Aug 5, 2014)

Lunagattina said:


> ok. Can somebody explain me in plain words what does it mean?


Sure 

Emotions, Hormones... They correlate with F the strongest imo. 
Fe is getting a view on how social dynamics should function, on the opposite side is Ti - trying to understand and formulate things independent from other people's views (while Te is the complete opposite to Fe). Ti does not stimulate hormones as it tries to retreat from the subjective(unlike Fi), while Fe thrives in subjectively interpreting the world, filling it with hormones to help stimulate its understanding of human interactions. This "feeling" caused by biological internal stimuli helps them believe their opinion, on how one should act to be socially appropriate (Fe-Si for example) is totally objective. In other words, they are kind to kind people and bad to bad ones, because that's how people should be treated and they are the ones that can best attribute which behaviours are the bad and the good.

Fe in INTPs is that they don't push out their inner state to people, they can look boring, uninterested, unengaged. I like to think of the extraverted functions with additions, the input and the output. The INTP compared to ENTP can have a higher input of Fe, while ENTP should always have the higher output which can make them charming, if the are good manipulators and they can interpret Fe input through Ti.



To get back to the question on "What is undeveloped Fe", "What is underdeveloped Fe" or even better "What is an unhealthy Fe". 


Undeveloped would mean you don't see how society functions, you lack the ability to see and understand the people around you, I think is more common with ExFPs and INTJs. 
Underdeveloped Fe correlates with strong Ti, it is when you can/could understand the concept of social dynamics and you dont give it much attention or you just dont want to part in it. Most commonly seen in xNTPs. <--- This is where you can improve by learning
Unhealthy Fe is what is most commonly correlating with weak Ti. Most commonly seen in ExFJ. Its when you cant seem to understand your lack of logic when trying to be objective about how you think people should function.



I have a few INTP friends, one has a really good input of Fe which he gained through long time studying social dynamics or "pickup", thanks to his Ti. But he cant seem to learn the output: body language, face mimicking and expressing himself, he looks so unauthentic.
So like people have mentioned before, you have some good books to help you but I doubt you can change and switch to having more hormones running through your body (without drugs ofc). 
I listened to the audiobook: "how to win friends and influence people", not bad but I think a strong Te users can get the most out of it.

TLR
I consider INTPs the most deep out of all the types and this just might be because of their relationship with Fe.


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## Joe2718 (Jul 21, 2015)

Lunagattina said:


> ok.
> It works, until I don't begin to act weird, or the emotions explode and I make something irrational and stupid that make me regret to be born,


What's even better is having these 'mistakes' burned into your brain so you can't forget them for.. i dunno, i'm still waiting on some of them. 

Offtopic but not much, more like a sine than inverse tangent. Why are mistakes so painful with emotions? :frustrating: I laugh at my other mistakes. It's part of learning. If i didn't make the mistake; i already knew it so i learned nothing. 

Going to go try to learn from the entp now.


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## Joe2718 (Jul 21, 2015)

jkp said:


> Sure
> I have a few INTP friends, one has a really good input of Fe which he gained through long time studying social dynamics or "pickup", thanks to his Ti. But he cant seem to learn the output: body language, face mimicking and expressing himself, he looks so unauthentic.


I'll completely agree with that. I think my F issue is from my nearly non existent Fi. When i feel somethings, it's overwhelming. That's where the 'mistakes' occur that are unforgettable. I dont like to talk bad about myself, but my Fi is probably comparable to a child. Feelings for me should be hidden or attempted to avoid. It is a weakness of mine. Fi has been the biggest source of my problems. 

I had thought that Fe would be like a crowd dynamic. Although this is my 4th thing; i still consider this a strength of mine though it can be a burden. I think this makes more sense in example rather than words. 
I used to take care of a couple banks computers. When diagnosing an issue, it's way easier to distract the user via playing the clown. (i've seen another intp say he had played the clown before as well.) They're pc isn't working and they're all freaked out and if i had to explain every step; it'd never get fixed. Jokes, bump your head on the desk.... anything to distract the user and make them back into a relaxed state again. Now here's the key thing for me being Fe. I can only be completely relaxed and happy if EVERYONE was there too. It does improve productivity so i used to justify by that. Someone told me a compliment that's probably one of the best compliments i've ever had. "On the days your here, the whole bank is happier and seems to function better." 
It's a burden because it's not just one person; but it's a strength because if you can pull it off... fantastic reward and the only time i ever feel comfortable around people. 
It's probably my main difference from INTJ's. If someone is mean to someone else, it hurts me.

OH! I wanted to thank you for two reasons. A) You were being helpful without any gain for yourself. B) I forgot to mention that you were right about me concluding "bad" and "good" actions with people and the response. My response to bad isn't that horrifying. I go away from them.


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## lunagattina (Nov 7, 2014)

Joe2718 said:


> What's even better is having these 'mistakes' burned into your brain so you can't forget them for.. i dunno, i'm still waiting on some of them.


same here for one of them, just now. I've already been waiting for months now, and it is still there. 



Joe2718 said:


> Offtopic but not much, more like a sine than inverse tangent. Why are mistakes so painful with emotions? :frustrating: I laugh at my other mistakes. It's part of learning. If i didn't make the mistake; i already knew it so i learned nothing.
> 
> Going to go try to learn from the entp now.


me either. 
I don't know why these mistakes are so painful. 
Probably we simply are not naturally equipped to manage emotions and their consequences.


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## lunagattina (Nov 7, 2014)

Joe2718 said:


> I'll completely agree with that. I think my F issue is from my nearly non existent Fi. When i feel somethings, it's overwhelming. That's where the 'mistakes' occur that are unforgettable. I dont like to talk bad about myself, but my Fi is probably comparable to a child. Feelings for me should be hidden or attempted to avoid. It is a weakness of mine. Fi has been the biggest source of my problems.


ok.
I think my father must have been in your country and have known your mother, or my parents must have gave a child in adoption before I was born, or I must have been adopted without being said, because you must be my brother.


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## lunagattina (Nov 7, 2014)

BigApplePi said:


> All those questions you raise I can only guess at answers. It's like asking, what is a developed person, a developed carpenter, a developed dancer? In this case it's emotions. If emotions are just juices flowing around in your body, pushing you this way and that, you are not developed. One would have to have some way to identify what is developed. It would help to identify what the emotion or feeling is. Frenzy sounds out of control. Enjoyment is calmer. Friendliness is an attitude. If there is more than one feeling going on at the same time, it's harder.
> 
> Emotions are expressions of what you find valuable. In the case of above, friends are valuable so why not look for them? Enjoyment feels good, so why not go for it, unless the process has something unpleasant coming out of it. Frenzy? I just picked that one out of my hat. Frenzy is great uncontrolled excitement. If one is going to be frenzied, it is best those around you not take advantage to hurt you. It's best what is exciting be worth it.
> 
> How about naming some experiences with emotions or feelings and ew can see what can be said about that?


my first problem is actually that I have problem in recognizing and accept what I am feeling and how strongly.
I have not problems with the feelings of other people. Actually I seem to be quite perceptive if I want. 
But mine are more difficult to accept. I tend to avoid them. 
Anger, sadness, commotion, even great happiness or affection/love. 
I am prone to minimize them and not to show them. Actually I would prefer not to feel them at all. So I probably just pretend (even with myself) they don't exist or that they are quite insignificant.

The problem is that, when they are not insignificant, I am not able to manage them. They burst out, out of control, and I make disasters. Lose people, hurt them, behave in a very childish way. 

But, this should be Fi, isn't it?
Not Fe.
Sorry I don't know so much the theory.


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## lunagattina (Nov 7, 2014)

jkp said:


> Fe in INTPs is that they don't push out their inner state to people,


 yes



> they can look boring, uninterested, unengaged.


 yes. Even if I have learned how to be polite and to not show. 



> [*]Undeveloped would mean you don't see how society functions, you lack the ability to see and understand the people around you, I think is more common with ExFPs and INTJs.


not really. Actually I like to "study" people and how they interact and communicate. It is one of my interests. Moreover I think to be quite good in understanding how they feel if I care about them. 




> [*]Underdeveloped Fe correlates with strong Ti, it is when you can/could understand the concept of social dynamics and you dont give it much attention or you just dont want to part in it. Most commonly seen in xNTPs. <--- This is where you can improve by learning


I understand it now, but I admit that I don't give it attention and don't like to part in it. It is tiring. 




> [*]Unhealthy Fe is what is most commonly correlating with weak Ti. Most commonly seen in ExFJ. Its when you cant seem to understand your lack of logic when trying to be objective about how you think people should function.
> [/LIST]


I don't understand it... sorry... 




> I have a few INTP friends, one has a really good input of Fe which he gained through long time studying social dynamics or "pickup", thanks to his Ti. But he cant seem to learn the output: body language, face mimicking and expressing himself, he looks so unauthentic.


I don't know about it. I should ask to somebody about my output. 



> So like people have mentioned before, you have some good books to help you but I doubt you can change and switch to having more hormones running through your body (without drugs ofc).


They are more than enough. I would prefer less of them actually.




> I listened to the audiobook: "how to win friends and influence people", not bad but I think a strong Te users can get the most out of it.


Thanks.



> TLR
> I consider INTPs the most deep out of all the types and this just might be because of their relationship with Fe.


Why? can you expand? I find it interesting.


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## BigApplePi (Dec 1, 2011)

Lunagattina said:


> my first problem is actually that I have problem in recognizing and accept what I am feeling and how strongly.
> I have not problems with the feelings of other people. Actually I seem to be quite perceptive if I want.
> But mine are more difficult to accept. I tend to avoid them.


I can identify with that. Let me give you a speculation. Other people's emotions are seen one at a time ... unless they are mysterious or hide them deliberately. If I am thinking, my emotions are not only way in the background, but relate in too many way to what I'm thinking (Ti) and what I'm experiencing (Ne). They are scattered all over the place. Another way of saying it is, I'm too close.




> Anger, sadness, commotion, even great happiness or affection/love.
> I am prone to minimize them and not to show them. Actually I would prefer not to feel them at all. So I probably just pretend (even with myself) they don't exist or that they are quite insignificant.
> 
> The problem is that, when they are not insignificant, I am not able to manage them. They burst out, out of control, and I make disasters. Lose people, hurt them, behave in a very childish way.
> ...


Yes. One could use reason and discussion on this forum to decide what is important and what is not. If one is uncertain, then they are not being handled properly. Those things you mention are Fi. Take anger. One could go to these "Anger Management" classes to learn about anger. Anyway doing that here instead, anger is about some kind of grievance I suppose. It "should" be this way and instead it's that way. If we can't address that rationally, our unconscious takes control.
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Lunagattina said:


> I don't know why these mistakes are so painful.


What if one wants to be perfect, the mistake has one thinking they are a fool, or is just trying overly hard? Then a mistake would be painful because it raises conflicts. When I realize I could make a mistake, I can judge ahead of time ... go ahead or perfect it first. Sometimes I decide to go ahead and tell myself, "okay I can make a mistake here. How important is that and can I correct it." In making this post I can choose to risk imperfection. I can say, "To hell with it. I make mistakes. Let me make one and I'll fix it if I feel like it."


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## Joe2718 (Jul 21, 2015)

Lunagattina said:


> ok.
> , or my parents must have gave a child in adoption before I was born, or I must have been adopted without being said, because you must be my brother.


You must have some infj (the psychic) in ya because I am adopted. 

If that was the case, it would change my view on personalities being genetic.


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## lunagattina (Nov 7, 2014)

Joe2718 said:


> You must have some infj (the psychic) in ya because I am adopted.
> 
> If that was the case, it would change my view on personalities being genetic.


My mother is an infj. Ok. This is getting kind of scary.

Joking aside, I hope I have not touched a sensitive area for you. If so, I apologize.


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## Joe2718 (Jul 21, 2015)

Lunagattina said:


> My mother is an infj. Ok. This is getting kind of scary.
> 
> Joking aside, I hope I have not touched a sensitive area for you. If so, I apologize.


lol, actually you had said something that made me happy. So I ran away and played with dog for a while, came back, read it again.. happy again... so far it's been three times and still haven't been able to answer it. I even did some escapism messing around in photoshop for a bit. 

I want to be able to say in a clear and orderly way.... oh but something I could say pretty easily and honestly. 
“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer” .. the first time i read that; i thought, "That's like word art. Simple, honest, complete. Beautiful." oh dear, that sounds sooo corny outside my head. bah, i gotta hit enter this time. 

hahaha, This is me being an Extrovert.


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## Bugs (May 13, 2014)

I charge people for my Fe interaction.


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## Joe2718 (Jul 21, 2015)

Lunagattina said:


> same here for one of them, just now. I've already been waiting for months now, and it is still there.
> 
> me either.
> I don't know why these mistakes are so painful.
> Probably we simply are not naturally equipped to manage emotions and their consequences.


This made me happy! Not the fact that you were in pain. I wasn't alone with being stuck with this happening. 

What's been making my mind grind today is how i ran away from responding while "happy". My response, while in an emotional state, might be wrong and the penalty for that is horrible. Fi reactions have such a huge risk and your the only person i've ever met that would understand that. I just dont trust my brain when having any emotion. This is weird cause people i'm comfortable around would probably describe me as 'happy go lucky' or 'not a care in the world'. 

Summary: I'm comfortable with my Fe (only when i'm comfortable around the group). I would be happy with my Fe all the time if I had a lot more E (takes a while to get comfortable to a group). I was trying to keep this on topic of Fe.... i might start another thread with Fi because if there are two of us, there could be more. {{ I read something where the intp's have to make a supercollective and save the world from the INTJs }}


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## Bugs (May 13, 2014)

Lunagattina said:


> my first problem is actually that I have problem in recognizing and accept what I am feeling and how strongly.
> I have not problems with the feelings of other people. Actually I seem to be quite perceptive if I want.
> But mine are more difficult to accept. I tend to avoid them.
> Anger, sadness, commotion, even great happiness or affection/love.
> ...


If you are an Fi then you would probably hold that authentic sentiment can only be generated from within individuals. You would argue that inner sentiment is something that transcends convention and shouldn't ever be manipulated. 

If you are an Fe then you would probably hold that sentiment is more or less universal and something that can and should be changed to conform to some universal standard ( Ti being at the other end of Fe). 

Fi-Te (Te-Fi) = the desire to manipulate the environment to conform to inner sentiment. People like this tend to have natural "willpower." Generally rigid and cold on the outside but fiery and passionate on the inside. This varies on one's stack.

Fe-Ti (Ti-Fe) = The desire to manipulate sentiment be it your own or other peoples' to conform to universal principles. People like this tend to have a more natural easy going attitude. Generally warm on the outside but calm and cool on the inside. This varies on one's stack.


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## Joe2718 (Jul 21, 2015)

Lunagattina said:


> same here for one of them, just now. I've already been waiting for months now, and it is still there.
> 
> Probably we simply are not naturally equipped to manage emotions and their consequences.


I tried to start a thread to try to get more ways to deal with emotions. I found out that Fi isnt feelings that are internal. 
ick, now i have to define feelings because on this site apparantly it's never refers to emotions. Fi is like morals, right or wrong. 
I had used Fi for feelings. Everyone seemed smart enough to see that it wasnt correct but no one was able to figure out that I was consistent with my misuse of interchanging Fi with Emotions. 
Jungian feeling is like number 2 of Feeling. I had thought it was like number 1 of same link. 
I finally understand the difference and am sharing here so you dont have to experience that confusion. 

Oh, is your name crazy cat ? or moon cat?


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