# 9 vs 5: Delayed emotional response?



## Choice (May 19, 2012)

Hey 9's, when you seem calm about something at first, but then start ranting about it later - would you say it's anything like a delayed emotional response? The 9 I live with, and another 9 girl have both expressed that they find it easy to be unaffected until they reflect on issues later (unless it was directly in breach with very important). 

Meanwhile, a 5 I've spoken to has copped to this outright - probably? too busy running logical processes first ;P

What are the differences between the types? Are there any specific events which trigger this?


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## sleepyhead (Nov 14, 2011)

For myself, when I'm in a situation that I can't emotionally respond to in the moment, I am usually able to digest it and finish dealing with it whenever I have some time to myself. It doesn't bother me again once that has happened.

The 9's I know may not always know they're angry in the moment, but they don't seem to digest it completely or as soon after as a 5. The 9's I know who do this usually are unaware they're angry/affected until a week or two has passed and they realize they're frustrated, depressed, angry, etc - it's a very slow build and when it happens they usually need 1-3 days to sit in that feeling, and then move on. Unfortunately a lot of the 9's I know don't really move on, but just repress or try to forget about the issue - until it rears it's head again.

For me, I don't have a slow build and I'm aware of the emotion when it happens.


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## Curiously (Nov 7, 2011)

I typically know what I'm feeling soon after something has happened, but my full comprehension of the feeling is half-baked until I've had further time in private to reflect on and process it all. I hope this makes sense. For instance, most times, I'll know I'm feeling anger, helplessness, resentment, lust, warmth, etc, but it's a bit hazy at least initially, and I'll definitely want to assess that strong feeling in depth when I'm alone.


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## madhatter (May 30, 2010)

I agree with both sleepyhead and SillaSY. It might take me a couple of hours to figure out exactly what I'm feeling, but I know I'm feeling "something." Boss described 5s as "pathologically detached", so it makes sense that we do this.


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## NeedsNewNameNow (Dec 1, 2009)

Jiktin said:


> Hey 9's, when you seem calm about something at first, but then start ranting about it later - would you say it's anything like a delayed emotional response? The 9 I live with, and another 9 girl have both expressed that they find it easy to be unaffected until they reflect on issues later (unless it was directly in breach with very important).
> 
> Meanwhile, a 5 I've spoken to has copped to this outright - probably? too busy running logical processes first ;P
> 
> What are the differences between the types? Are there any specific events which trigger this?


I identify with both 5 and 9.

I usually won't express anger until I've reflected on it..
sometimes I'll feel upset and angry when something happens, but later decide I was overreacting
other times I won't immediately be angry, but later think about it and get angry.
If I'm really fed up I may explode immediately


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## Psychophlegmatic (Apr 29, 2012)

I am a type 5 wing 6... I tend to avoid conflict in any way possible. During a stressful situation, I maintain my "poker face" and repress my emotions (which I am very good at). But after some time has passed and I am alone, I will put all my energy into trying to figure out the whats/whys. I control myself until the environment is "safe", and when it is, my thoughts and emotions come to me.


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## Sonny (Oct 14, 2008)

If something creates a feeling of anger in me, or I feel violated my default is to second guess my position, not the other person. 

It is not a delayed reaction (although I can feel shocked in the moment as I don't expect people to disrespect me), it simply takes reflection later to gain perspective to know if feeling angry or violated is acceptable.


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## Muser (Jul 17, 2011)

5-4-8 here.

I'm aware of my feelings right then and there. If we're talking about *anger*, in a comfortable-enough environment, I will not hesitate to let it show. Maybe this has something to do with the gut fix.

When it comes to other emotions like sadness, disappointment or jealousy, I tend to keep it on hold and get on with the things I need to do. When I'm alone, that's when I'm able to feel things to their deepest extent.


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## Ventricity (Mar 30, 2009)

it really depends. for most of the time it can go down in reflection as described by previous posters. but the only reason for that is if i don't quite know how to respond in the moment, and the possibility that there's some information that i have missed. if i know that i have just reason to be angry, which is rare, i can get volative and confrontational in a sort of dark way(dark as in no empty threats). but it takes a lot for that to happen.


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## Mizmar (Aug 12, 2009)

I've never had a problem identifying my emotions in the moment, though I often find it difficult trying to express them.

Anger - I suppress the hell out of it but I'm fully aware of it. I don't go "numb" to it the way I see the Nines in my life do.

Sadness - My eyes swell with tears very easily. All it takes is the right idea, melody, or another person's tears to elicit that response in me--a response which is totally involuntary. I'm very embarrassed when this happens in public (which is often) so hide my eyes by looking to the ground or finding a place to be alone.

Joy - I don't think I have any problem here. I tend to be low-key in my expression of joy and excitement, but I'd like to think I feel them as intensely as anyone else does.

Fear - Similar to anger in that I suppress its outer expression. Often people describe me as "calm" or "easy-going"..."laid-back" ect, though on the inside I could be feeling very anxious or worried that very moment.


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## Flatlander (Feb 25, 2012)

I've been following this thread. The question is an interesting one.

The reason I put off emotions is that I don't like to act hastily, especially when I'm not in control of myself; raw emotions can be subsuming. I take negative emotions as a symptom that there is something wrong in my environment. So, I notice the emotion but retain my calm in the present moment, to deal with or get to the bottom of whatever situation is at hand - I can examine my emotions later, on my own time. It can seem like I don't have emotions, which is not the case; I am simply distanced from them.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I suppose a 9 probably uses a similar tactic toward a different goal - keeping the peace or mediating in the present. It seems like the consideration would be more based on emotion itself.


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## Choice (May 19, 2012)

Mizmar said:


> Anger - I suppress the hell out of it but I'm fully aware of it. I don't go "numb" to it the way I see the Nines in my life do.


On second thoughts, I'm still confused. What do you mean by them going numb to it?


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## Sonny (Oct 14, 2008)

Jiktin said:


> On second thoughts, I'm still confused. What do you mean by them going numb to it?


The clearest way to see it imo is by looking at head v gut. 

A 5 will be aware of what is going on (if they literally notice it, that is) intellectually they will decide if they will ignore or not, it's in their head and analysed, dissected, weighed up. The delayed emotions from my perspective appears to be related to the disconnect needed between intellectualising something and experiencing it. The head must figure it out and emotions make things messy. [/outsiders pov]

Conversely the 9 is gut, it's impulse, thing is there is constant doubt over what is more correct as all points of view are valid so the impulse doesn't act in a decisive way, in fact it's normally the gut that creates the doubt in the first place not the head or heart. Distance from experiencing something and knowing a pov is needed in order for the 9 to formulate their view free from influence, if they can, as they automatically take on other people's needs/wants/views in the moment and do not keep a unique septate entity.

In this context of understanding one's own anger and reacting later shut-down would be a better word than numb, anger and conflict can feel harmful or at least un-handleable to the 9, so it needs to stop, now.


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## Mizmar (Aug 12, 2009)

Jiktin said:


> On second thoughts, I'm still confused. What do you mean by them going numb to it?


In the case of my girlfriend, for example, her anger might be obvious to others because she looks grumpy and she's slamming things around. But if I point out her anger to her it will take her a moment of self-reflection to actually see it. She might reply with "wow, I didn't realize how angry I was." She seems fully aware of her fear and her sadness, but when it comes to anger she has a tendency to blot it out somehow.


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