# Bad at cooking due to low standards for taste?



## GENIUSandVIOLENCE (Oct 6, 2012)

Hi all, I'm posting about a topic which I have struggled for some time with and wondered if anybody could share some thoughts.

So, you can pretty much describe me as an anti-foodie. I don't get what the huge deal about food is. To me it is more of a means to survive rather than a source of enjoyment. I enjoy food mostly because when I eat out I spend time with people. Food is pretty okay, it's not great but it's not crap either. I do have a few favourites, but what I'm trying to get at is I find it difficult to differentiate between "good" food and "bad" food. I am pretty happy with most things.

From what I have experienced, however, it seems that I am a bad cook because I don't understand how others taste. As a side note, I do have a lessened sense of smell I believe. I can taste sweet, salty, spicy, etc. fine, and can taste what individual foods are like (e.g. chicken flavour). I'm not really bothered by texture (e.g. if the beef has been boiled for too long so it's too old/hard, or too soft, etc.).

The thing is, my family is pretty good with cooking and I feel bad because I don't cook for them, like ever. The few times I have cooked for them, it hasn't turned out well. I'm embarrassed to ever cook for other people. I am very simple when I prepare my foods. I don't like adding a lot of oil or salt or spices. I boil most things, or microwave them. Sometimes pre-marinated foods are placed in the oven. Plain, simple and bland is good enough for me. This seems to work okay with certain Western foods, but my background is Chinese, so we do a lot of Asian cooking at home which in my opinion is pretty heavy on flavour. It's different from whacking a sandwich or wrap or salad together with a premade sauce. And Chinese cooking doesn't have set recipes. It's a "handful" of this, a "pinch" of that. So it's all made by feel, and that's exactly it; I don't really feel. I'm not passionate about cooking or food, it's just necessary for me to exist.

So what I would like to know is if anyone else faces a similar problem in terms of their low food standards, and also how have you guys gotten better at cooking? Do you think it's because "good" food is arbitrary and people have different preferences so it doesn't matter so much? I'm not cooking at home and feeling bad that I don't ever pull my weight in that regard. While the idea of improving seems great, I don't know if I'm motivated enough to work hard at something I have no personal interest in. Is it an N-dominant trait to be very weak in the Sensing department, in my case, taste and smell?


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## fridjiit (Feb 13, 2016)

lessened sense of smell definitely limits your ability to identify when something is ready, and when it's way past ready. My question for you is, can you smell the permeating odor of say....cooking hamburger, or do you only notice it when it starts smelling burned?

I've found that when I cook, the food gets very aromatic from the application of heat when it is underdone, and just about the time that aroma fades, IT'S DONE.

If you can smell that much of it, just pull it out when the aroma fades, it should be better.


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## sprinkles (Feb 7, 2010)

"Good" is kind of arbitrary but "quality" is less so. 

To know quality food you have to have eaten quality food. You'll know when you have if there's not something physically wrong with your ability to taste. 

If all you have ever done is eaten to survive then you probably don't have much of a reference point. You have to be able to slow down and pay attention to what you are eating. Eating quality food takes practice. Once you've gotten out of the idea that taste is pointless then maybe your cooking will be more inspired.


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## Razare (Apr 21, 2009)

Cooking well is kind of like you might imagine painting or drawing.

Taste is a benefit but I think a person could be imaginative and do it well without that. Taste just helps correct flavors when you sample the food during cooking.

You could follow recipes to the letter and figure out which ones are good.

I agree about quality too. Quality food tastes better so there's a difference. Quality is simple things like removing the chemicals they put in food.


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

Cooking was foreign to me also, but you have to get your hands in it and try.

Usually, a first place to start with since you mentioned you are Chinese is your favorite childhood dish. I personally love Chinese style Arden lettuce, snow peas/or water spinach.

Play with the flavor a little. Salt needs to be added in small quantities, balanced well with sweet. Usually half the salt to sweet, and then you have aromatics like garlic, onions, toasted sesame oil and oyster sauce. Yum!!

Scary at first, but once you get in the hang of balancing yin/yang aspects of your dishes, your meals will scream supreme.. No kidding!


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## Nesta (Jan 17, 2015)

GENIUSandVIOLENCE said:


> So what I would like to know is if anyone else faces a similar problem in terms of their low food standards, and also *how have you guys gotten better at cooking?* Do you think it's because "good" food is arbitrary and people have different preferences so it doesn't matter so much? *I'm not cooking at home *and feeling bad that I don't ever pull my weight in that regard. While the idea of improving seems great, *I don't know if I'm motivated enough to work hard at something I have no personal interest in*. Is it an N-dominant trait to be very weak in the Sensing department, in my case, taste and smell?


First of all, almost no one is a good cook from the start. We all have our stories of kitchen disasters and failed dinners. Even the people in your family who are good cooks had to learn somewhere. They probably learned from other family members or their own mistakes. Cooking can look so effortless but it is a learned thing. Because it is a learned thing, there is hope for you. You just have to decide how much effort, if any you want to put into learning.

Do you have a family member or friend who can teach you how to cook? Maybe just the basics? Or if you have to teach yourself, maybe you could have a friend who can eat your cooking and give you constructive criticism. You might find that you make the same mistakes over and over again. If you are aware of what these mistakes are, you can watch out for them. Have someone else be a surrogate taster for you until you pick it up. 

I agree with the idea of learning some of your favorite dishes. You will have a reference for how they are supposed to taste to go off of and you already like them.


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## Pifanjr (Aug 19, 2014)

I agree that you'd have to eat good quality food with attention to be able to learn when something you've made tastes good or not. And even then it will take a long time before you are really good in cooking.

However, if you just don't care about food or cooking and the only reason you do is because you feel guilty for never cooking for your family, just find something else you can do for your family. For example, take initiative to vacuum the house, give the plants water, offer to do groceries or if you really want to do something with cooking, just offer to help cutting up ingredients for the person that's preparing food.


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## Red Panda (Aug 18, 2010)

Cooking takes practice, I don't think anyone could cook for the first time and make a good dish, so it doesn't surprise me at all that you failed when you tried. Unless you do it frequently and experiment, you won't get better. So it's all about what you want really, if you want to cook for others for community and fun, you have to practice more and taste-test more foods so you'll develop your skills, if you don't want to, then simply don't do it, but choosing the latter also means you won't be able to cook for others on the fly, because simply you don't know how. Also, if there's certain dishes you'd like to cook you could try becoming better at them and don't bother for anything else so you can have a couple of dishes you can cook for your friends and family if you want to.


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## hailfire (Dec 16, 2012)

Practice. That's seriously it. And try learning to find sensory things to enjoy about different foods as well as the difference in quality between the same foods... And eat better quality food. Learn the textures of foods at different levels of preparedness from your mouth, fingers, and utensils. Use a timer so you can begin to understand about how long things take to cook the way you need them to cook. Use the microwave less often as a cooking medium than the stovetop, oven, or grill because the quality of microwaved food in comparison to those is usually of lesser quality. While you learn, put some more oil and salt/seasonings than you're inclined to since you tend not to use very much, and have someone else taste test with you as you cook so you'll have an idea of how much your sense of taste differs from others and can learn how to compensate for your lowered ability to taste when cooking for others. Have others critique your cooking. There will be many failures along the way, but that's just how it goes.

However, if your only motivation to learn how to cook is out of guilt, you might be better off compensating some other way or finding a different reason to learn how to cook.


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## Old Intern (Nov 20, 2012)

@GENIUSandVIOLENCE I have your experience of thinking that food is not a big deal. The experience of taking a nice break when you want to, or meeting with people over a meal is more important than details of the food. I don't think I have a weak sense of smell though; I mean I'm aware of things like not wanting to wear a nice jacket to a burger place because I will know if that fried food smell sticks in my clothes, things like that. Or I do have ability to recognize a smell or a particular seasoning sometimes.

One thing I wish I would have learned when I was younger was to have short-cuts for being someone who doesn't like to cook. One example, If you have to bring something to a gathering, you can do things like a bowl of strawberries in a nice looking bowl, a dish of sugar with a small spoon and some paper baking cups for people to spoon some dipping sugar into. Real food, a treat in contrast to the pot-luck pasta salads other people put more work into. 

Or make one thing that people learn to accept as your specialty. A few one skillet favorites that also save money - like some little spin you put into sloppy joes or a favorite salad dressing. Learn how to cook different kinds of eggs and pasta for cheap practice. The money I save by making easy inexpensive things pays for going out to eat for a meal that, to me, would require more work and mess - like fried chicken just doesn't seem worth the effort to do that yourself.


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## Old Intern (Nov 20, 2012)

hailfire said:


> Practice. That's seriously it. And try learning to find sensory things to enjoy about different foods as well as the difference in quality between the same foods... And eat better quality food. Learn the textures of foods at different levels of preparedness from your mouth, fingers, and utensils. Use a timer so you can begin to understand about how long things take to cook the way you need them to cook. Use the microwave less often as a cooking medium than the stovetop, oven, or grill because the quality of microwaved food in comparison to those is usually of lesser quality. While you learn, put some more oil and salt/seasonings than you're inclined to since you tend not to use very much, and have someone else taste test with you as you cook so you'll have an idea of how much your sense of taste differs from others and can learn how to compensate for your lowered ability to taste when cooking for others. Have others critique your cooking. There will be many failures along the way, but that's just how it goes.
> 
> However, if your only motivation to learn how to cook is out of guilt, you might be better off compensating some other way or finding a different reason to learn how to cook.


You've got to be kidding me. some of us just don't care about any of this that much. For some of us it is a social appeasement and we want the fastest most painless way to eat food that is reasonably healthy real food, and to not be a social pariah about a lack of interest or lack of desire to put time into food prep.

I just can't imagine how trapped and bored I would have to be in my life to end up focusing on minor variations of food textures. I think this IS a sensor /non-sensor thing?

I'm not trying to be snotty, just that what you are suggesting seems like doing things the hard way. Why not buy a cook-book that is supposed to be easy, one that makes dishes with only a few ingredients per dish, and then just follow directions?


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## hailfire (Dec 16, 2012)

Old Intern said:


> You've got to be kidding me. some of us just don't care about any of this that much. For some of us it is a social appeasement and we want the fastest most painless way to eat food that is reasonably healthy real food, and to not be a social pariah about a lack of interest or lack of desire to put time into food prep.
> 
> I just can't imagine how trapped and bored I would have to be in my life to end up focusing on minor variations of food textures. I think this IS a sensor /non-sensor thing?
> 
> I'm not trying to be snotty, just that what you are suggesting seems like doing things the hard way. Why not buy a cook-book that is supposed to be easy, one that makes dishes with only a few ingredients per dish, and then just follow directions?


I'm not kidding. Maybe it is a sensor/non-sensor thing... At least for me, I don't find things like knowing the differences in taste or texture all that difficult - they're things I just notice (though I should note that I'm a fairly picky eater, and texture has a lot to do with it) so I'd think that it would take more of a concerted effort if it doesn't work that way for someone else. However, OP did mention that asides from not being too discerning about the readiness of food in terms of texture, she is also partial to bland food probably at least in part due to her weakened senses which differs from what her family cooks. Bland is fine when she's cooking for herself, but it's a different story when she cooks for others, especially her family - she would still have to learn how to compensate for that, then compromise as she pleases. My suggestions are simple ways to improve if she really does want to learn to cook better food. Better quality food often does require a bit more effort to cook. And given that she said detailed and set recipes aren't really a thing with Chinese food, trying to find reliable recipes to begin with could prove to be more work than learning in person from the people who cook the foods she wants to learn how to cook.

I suggested these things though because not only is trying to find a reliable written recipe - let alone a whole book - not always entirely feasible, honestly, _that_ can downright be more unnecessary work. Written recipes often still a lot of room for variation depending on personal preference, and the same dish can have different variations in recipes, so it can still come down to knowing the tastes and textures of the better versions of the foods you want to cook. Also, a written recipe doesn't make the attempt at cooking it fail-proof even if it lessens that possibility. It still can easily come down to practice in order to do it right. At least with enough practice, following a written recipe to a T becomes less and less necessary because a lot of recipes allow you to not follow them completely. And simple, barely-any-effort foods seem to be easier to find and do with more westernized foods so it can depend on culture, or at least your parents' culture(s)... I may not know much about cooking Chinese food specifically, but I do understand the point OP makes that it's not as easy as making certain westernized foods because that's not how meals went through much of my life either. Not to mention, there aren't really set recipes for food from their culture either, and the ones you can find online or wherever vary a lot.


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## Fumetsu (Oct 7, 2015)

Old Intern said:


> You've got to be kidding me. some of us just don't care about any of this that much. For some of us it is a social appeasement and we want the fastest most painless way to eat food that is reasonably healthy real food, and to not be a social pariah about a lack of interest or lack of desire to put time into food prep.
> 
> I just can't imagine how trapped and bored I would have to be in my life to end up focusing on minor variations of food textures. I think this IS a sensor /non-sensor thing?
> 
> I'm not trying to be snotty, just that what you are suggesting seems like doing things the hard way. Why not buy a cook-book that is supposed to be easy, one that makes dishes with only a few ingredients per dish, and then just follow directions?


 
Because some people enjoy cooking? Some of like being _creative_

I personally never recipes. To me, _that_ would make me bored. If I have no idea how to cook something I will look up the basics and fill in the rest myself.

To me using a recipe is like copying someone's answers on a test. Oh wow, you did it right! Because you've just made the exact same thing as everyone else who's ever used that recipe.
When someone says "Wow, This is really good!" You can't really take any credit for it.

At least that's how I feel about it. Some people just cook out of nessecity and that's fine, but for some it's a hobby, an art. You don't need to understand it. Just accept it.


For the record though, I am not a foodie. I find that sort of thing horribly pretentious.

On the other hand I will not serve anyone hamburger helper. As usual I find myself somewhere in the middle.


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## Old Intern (Nov 20, 2012)

@hailfire @Fumetsu I'm not putting either of you down for seeming to be people who like to cook. I was merely pointing out that you make an assumption that the OP has a desire to enjoy cooking and become a good cook. What I read, from the op lead me to believe an interpretation could also be made that social pressure and a sense of obligation or effort to be a good person is what was being expressed. So I was only highlighting our differences in assumptions. 

If a person knows what they are looking for, there have to be millions of places to get recipes today. Saying this is difficult . . . . . I don't buy that. You could watch cooking videos that claim to start at a basic or economical level too. I don't think it is a big jump to web search for Asian dishes, for example, and find that they use a certain common proportion and content of certain spices, or certain combinations of items. 

For myself the biggest drawback, to making meals when I was young, was that I believed it needed to be complex in order to do the job of being healthy food that tastes good. You can nuke some broccoli in a bowl with a half inch of water, broil some protein with a pre-packaged combination of spices to sprinkle on top, and have the basics of a decent meal. You can find somewhere some basic recommendations or ideas for ways to cook rice. You could buy a slow-cooker and those often come with recipes. So I was just adding the balance to cooking advice, that if you look for ideas that don't have a million ingredients, and you practice on inexpensive meals for yourself first, you can create a nice event for family and friends without having to become a great cook who loves cooking.

I suppose for some people, making the learning part of learning to cook - an event you do with friends is a good thing, but you guys covered that angle.

I don't love following directions either, but some things, just like seeing a video for a sink drain repair - it is a do it to get it done kind of thing. Once you walk through it, written or visual, then you "get" it, or you see which parts are important - but that doesn't happen if you start out with a dish that is already complex.


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## Fumetsu (Oct 7, 2015)

Old Intern said:


> @hailfire @Fumetsu I'm not putting either of you down for seeming to be people who like to cook. I was merely pointing out that you make an assumption that the OP has a desire to enjoy cooking and become a good cook. What I read, from the op lead me to believe an interpretation could also be made that social pressure and a sense of obligation or effort to be a good person is what was being expressed. So I was only highlighting our differences in assumptions.
> 
> If a person knows what they are looking for, there have to be millions of places to get recipes today. Saying this is difficult . . . . . I don't buy that. You could watch cooking videos that claim to start at a basic or economical level too. I don't think it is a big jump to web search for Asian dishes, for example, and find that they use a certain common proportion and content of certain spices, or certain combinations of items.
> 
> ...


I don't expect that the OP wants to enjoy cooking. I would even say that if they don't enjoy it, they should not do it.
Cooking is like any art, you have to have a passion for it. If you don't it'll show, even if you follow a recipe to a "T".

I don't know what your point is because I also never said anything about it being "Difficult". 
It just sounds to me like you are taking offense because you don't understand how we could enjoy something you don't.

And I mean that sincerely, I have no idea what your argument is.


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## johnnyyukon (Nov 8, 2013)

"Bad at cooking due to low standards for taste?"


Lol.





Well if you don't care and aren't motivated to be a good cook (yes, there is such a thing), then what's the problem? 


Yes, there's others like you: food is just sustenance.

I can be like that half the time.

But damn, there's nothing like spending the time making up some super dank jalapeno cornbread with REAL gravy made from bacon or other fat drippings saved and sometimes frozen.

Or slow cooked 6 hours, brisket with like 2 sliced up onions, Zesty Italian (key), baby carrots, onion soup mix, oh baby, i'm getting hungry. the meat just falls apart, you can make bbq samiches or eat just like it is.

I worked in kitchens for about 6 years, and know how to cook, but i still shop at the frozen meal section, as I can be quite lazy.


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## Old Intern (Nov 20, 2012)

Fumetsu said:


> I don't expect that the OP wants to enjoy cooking. I would even say that if they don't enjoy it, they should not do it.
> Cooking is like any art, you have to have a passion for it. If you don't it'll show, even if you follow a recipe to a "T".
> 
> I don't know what your point is because I also never said anything about it being "Difficult".
> ...


I have no problem with you, just responding to you quoting me.

I think it's like ironing a shirt, you can hate doing it and still do a good job. You can have a clean house and not like being a homemaker. One way you do this is to only buy a shirt that needs ironing when it seems worth it, for some special reason that matters to you. Another way to handle household order and appearance is to do practical management on the front end, not buying fussy knick knacs, but having good taste about basics.

I'm saying the above paragraph as example that having to love something in order to do a perfectly acceptable, useful, good job - is just not true. The idea that you *have* to put love into your cooking is silly. You may put love into it if it is your art. You can have a nice dinner party without having it catered, and without making cooking your art form - people do it all the time.


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## Fumetsu (Oct 7, 2015)

Old Intern said:


> I have no problem with you, just responding to you quoting me.
> 
> I think it's like ironing a shirt, you can hate doing it and still do a good job. You can have a clean house and not like being a homemaker. One way you do this is to only buy a shirt that needs ironing when it seems worth it, for some special reason that matters to you. Another way to handle household order and appearance is to do practical management on the front end, not buying fussy knick knacs, but having good taste about basics.
> 
> I'm saying the above paragraph as example that having to love something in order to do a perfectly acceptable, useful, good job - is just not true. The idea that you *have* to put love into your cooking is silly. You may put love into it if it is your art. You can have a nice dinner party without having it catered, and without making cooking your art form - people do it all the time.


Of course you don't _have_ to but it's better if you.


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## Old Intern (Nov 20, 2012)

Fumetsu said:


> Of course you don't _have_ to but it's better if you.


I don't want to keep going on this but that statement is pretty arbitrary. People who love to cook and their families or friends being better off for it is not a given - at all. I'm thinking of An Aunt and Uncle and all their fat decedents, with all those pie eating family gatherings and gastric bypass surgeries. 

:tongue:You can eat a lot of vegetables with very little investment of cooking time.

That being said, of course if cooking as an art form wasn't a real thing we wouldn't have restaurants.

I wish I would have noticed when I was young, that lots of people have only a few things they like to make and it works out fine for them. If it's about participation in social things, I would have been relieved if somebody told me, when I was young, that it didn't have to be a black and white thing of being a great cook or having people focus on you being a bad cook.


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