# Is life harder for introverts?



## Functianalyst (Jul 23, 2009)

I agree with your assessment Moon Pix.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

Life for introverts is significantly harder. I'll have to explain more after I get home.


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## Cookie Monster (Nov 6, 2009)

My first inclination is to say "Yea! Introverts definitely have it harder!" Here in America, we really do place a lot of value on extroverted traits and acting a certain way to be extroverted. However, I will have to agree with what others said and that life is equally hard on both temperaments, but in different ways.

I do have to say that day-to-day life can be taxing on introverts if they do not make a habit of resting more. I definitely find getting through each day without fatiguing a lot more difficult than the average person. Going out and functioning in the world in itself is very draining. 

But there are a lot of situations in which extroverts struggle. They struggle more in situations in which they have to be independent. For example, I can see being single very hard on extroverts because they have to have other people around. For me, being single was hard at times, but I really kind of enjoyed it because I had so much time to myself.


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## dasch (Dec 6, 2009)

An introvert's life is harder compared to an extrovert? who can say that this is true? an introvert might have a much active and a fun life compared to an extrovert, and I've seen this happen. Depends how you carry yourself around people and to everyone else, whether you're an extrovert or not.


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## Entelechy (Dec 5, 2009)

I'd say it's harder for extroverts because they can't understand why the hell we introverts won't talk to them. "I mean, really!"


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## dasch (Dec 6, 2009)

Entelechy said:


> I'd say it's harder for extroverts because they can't understand why the hell we introverts won't talk to them. "I mean, really!"


I thought this would perfectly apply to me. An INFP talked much more than me, have had that happened.


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## Slider (Nov 17, 2009)

lalalalela said:


> I have been thinking about this question for a while... and it seems like this world is made for extroverts. It seems like introverts need to train themselves to be more sociable in order to have a more enjoyable life. It's like they have to grow out of who they truly are. Has anyone else ever given this any thought?


 
I've given this a lot of thought actually, but it gave me a headache so I stopped. Life is frustrating, to say the least. I don't know if it's _more _difficult, but it certainly isnt easy.


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## 0 1 1 2 3 5 8 13 21 34 (Nov 22, 2009)

Social interaction is only one aspect of life. I think IXTXs are better off than IXFXs since we have low social needs in the first place... Kind of a trap being an introverted feeler. I think it probably is harder for us as children/teens, but it gets better. We tend to be perfectionists, so we make it hard for ourselves, but that same perfectionism will end up working out better in the long run. So yes, life is harder for us, but it also can be more rewarding. And, no, I'm not projecting the perfectionism from J. INFPs idealized romance is another form of perfectionism, it is merely introverted.


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## Marina Del Grapes (Dec 8, 2009)

Life is harder for those outside of the norm. I'm an extrovert, but the world would prefer it if I were an introvert and I know I would find more contentment and less tears were I an introvert. My husband is an introvert who has more responsibilities than I do, and we both acknowledge that life is "easier" for him. I try too hard.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

And you're Hungarian, right?


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## Marina Del Grapes (Dec 8, 2009)

Born there, lived many places, but I reside in the USA and was born to American parents.


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## Sily (Oct 24, 2008)

Marina Del Grapes said:


> Life is harder for those outside of the norm. I'm an extrovert, but the world would prefer it if I were an introvert and I know I would find more contentment and less tears were I an introvert. My husband is an introvert who has more responsibilities than I do, and we both acknowledge that life is "easier" for him. I try too hard.


I want to add something to this, but I have no proof other than my own life and what I have observed from my friends and family, if introverts can find their niche and not succumb to pressures that have nothing to do with their preferences ( "_My girl wants to party all the time, party all the time, party all the time...._" ) I DO believe introverts are happier and more satisfied and more content with life. Again, this is only what I have observed in the people around me -- I cannot take into account everyone in the world. :laughing:


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## cardinalfire (Dec 10, 2009)

I'd say that some introverts actually have it better than extroverts, because introverts tend to have their own beliefs, identity and internal value system and don't base their views on things external and if the world was to blow up we wouldn't be seeking others that desperately. Our energy comes from spending time alone and not from others, extroverts are dependent on other people, we ain't :laughing: ooh yeah.


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## SPtheGhost (Apr 26, 2010)

depends what your definitions of hard and easy are


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## Linnifae (Nov 13, 2009)

I've been mistaken for flirty when I'm not trying to flirt. I am often uncomfortable on my own for prolonged periods of time, and I'm shy which makes conflicts with my shyness.

My introverted husban on the other hand is very comfortable on his own and has no social anxiety. He's comfortable in a crowd, just the same. 

I'm much more talkative and after I'm over the shyness thing, I can talk for hours. He's always said he wishes he had more to say, or could connect with people easier.

There are good and bad sides to both.


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## teddy564339 (Jun 23, 2010)

This is a really interesting thread because it's hard to say anything too definitively.


What makes it tough for me to say is that I have a clear understanding of all of the disadvantages of being an introvert, but it's hard for me to completely understand and grasp the disadvantages of being an extravert. I have a general idea, but I don't really know what the actual experience feels like.


One issue that hurts introverts greatly is that...in order to live we have to be social. Of course, this has changed more recently with the internet, with people working from home and shopping from home...people even now can start meeting people from dates online. However, traditionally, people have to interact with others at school and work. To add this drain of energy on top of the usual stress that a job entails...it makes it doubly draining for an introvert.

Of course, there are plenty of other factors. A single extravert is going to have stress and more loneliness, and they have to work more to get people around them to satisfy that, whereas an introvert with roommates or family members is going to feel the opposite.


All in all, I don't think you can definitely say that introverts have it harder when you mix everything in. 



Here's where I think the problem is and where the reasoning comes from: *Society's general perception is that it's better to be an extravert.* No, I don't have any statistics or detailed evidence to back up this claim, only personal experience, so I'm sure some people (probably NT's  ) will want to debate that statement. Nonetheless, let me offer my reasons for saying so.

I do think that people understand the need for alone time and can assign it some value...but all in all the general perception is that wanting to spend too much time alone makes someone anti-social or weird. Going out, partying, being popular, "living life" are all viewed as "good" things. I don't know if I've ever heard someone being told that they're "too social". Yes, some people talk too much, but I think that's usually just brushed off laughingly, like a quirky trait. 

But when someone wants to spend more time alone than they do with others, other people are naturally going to find it mysterious and potentially bothersome. It's where a lot of the stereotypes of nerds/geeks and loners come from, and these people aren't just viewed as quirky or irritating...there's a viewpoint that there's something wrong with them. And it's because they're harder to understand since their inner world is so deep, and it's hidden from others. When talking with a group of people, it's much more natural to describe a good time you had with other people than one you had by yourself, especially if you're talking about an extended period of time.



Now, I'm not saying this is true across the board. Some introverts are more social than others, of course. But in general, from a young age, introverts are forced to be social, which wears them out more than it does extraverts. Some introverts grow and handle it better than others. Some (probably T types most often) take an "I don't care what you think, I'm just going to be me" attitude. Others may develop their extraversion early to avoid shyness and enjoy social company more. But it's something introverts have to work through one way or another as they grow up.


I know I'm biased in this, and part of this is me being an ISFJ, not simply an introvert. I just know that I've felt being an introvert has led to me having difficulties expressing my need for time alone without it feeling like I'm being distant, or anti-social, or telling people I don't like them because I don't want to spend time with them. If a big social even or party comes up, I have to mentally get myself ready for it, and the event causes extra stress on me. I either have to suck it up and deal with the extra exhaustion, or risk being rude by honestly telling people I don't want to go (or make up some lie about having plans). It's just a frustrating situation.


Like I said, I can't say anything definitively, and I'm sure extraverts have their own issues that I don't even think about because they don't affect me. I guess it's just I feel that as introverts we're often forced to choose between coming across as weird (and we have to choose whether or not to care about that) or by doing things that wear us out.


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## Chilln (Aug 19, 2009)

Harder in the sense that if you feel roughing it out on your own is too much of a challenge then yes, it could be perceived as hard, but sometimes I feel that those that are immersed in various interactions from a day to day basis suffer the most simply from trying to deal with the various requirements of each person they encounter in order to make them feel comfortable. Being alone 95 percent of your life really solves a lot of problems and allows for a clearer more regular thought process. 
I must emphasize that I treat any close friend of mine as if they are family even if I only meet them once every 1-2 weeks.


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

I don't see why it'd be easier to be an extrovert than an introvert.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

Introverts have a tougher life, period. You are dragged out of your place to interract with a bunch of shallow, stupid assholes and all the girls you know think you're the most undateable person ever and prefer the company of wasteful douchebags to your earnest attentions. This is the life of the introvert- GET USED TO IT!


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## Musician6120 (Jun 24, 2010)

Socially, it may be more difficult for those of us who are shy, like myself. In other ways, it may be easier, such as in we don't necessarily have social-based obligations in the way of our interactions.


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