# Most common and happy intertype marriages observed by Bukalov



## empathetic (Aug 10, 2020)

*Interviewer:* By the way, yes. You say that you’ve studied health and Socionics’ influence on it…
*Bukalov:* Yes. I’d like to say that we have a big data base…and once we’ve thought about statistics of married couples, these statistics were not about couples that visited family counseling. They had to do with random people. Because when people work there in one city, husband works at one enterprise, wife—at another one, right? But when we put it all together, it turns out that they are married and we can easily count…well… people that haven’t complained about problems. So, there won’t by any sample distortion. And we’ve taken about 140 married couples that had been living in marriage from 2 to 40 years. And we’ve looked at the statistic. It turned out that the picture is totally marvelous…and fully matches socionical beliefs. Because in inner-quadral relations, one of the best, 65% are stable couples. If you add to that social order relations, which are also considered pleasant, that’s another 12%. Thus, 77% stable couples live in relations which are directly considered pleasant by Socionics. As for others, there are neutral, business, kindred and other relations. They compose about 20% and bad relations—a couple percents. About 0.5%-3% are relations of potential conflict and so on. But even in these 77% the first place take dual relations. What Aušra Augustinavičiūtė wrote about the dual nature of men, 45% of couples live in dual relations, according to our data. That is, 45% out of 65%. Other relations take up 20%. Mirror, identical, and activation. So, the 1st place take dual relations—45%, the 2nd place—social order relations—12%, the 3rd place—activation relations—10%, and 5-6% for mirror and identity relations. They aren’t as pleasant but are more pleasant than others. So, here you go. In this way we’ve accurately checked all of this and then…this article was published in the late 90’s. It’s actively cited. Then we’ve grown our statistics and nothing changes drastically.

Acc. to him most people actually marry duals naturally and benefit relations are next( my fav! they are something else), then activation and mirror, identity.

These seem to be long term living, successful marriages. Half of people do marry first in conflict in youth but they don't love for longtime, they separate fastly. (Why?? I do love my conflict. Why should we be farer and separate never meant to unite like sky and sea?  I still deeply love my conflict ex unable to forget but also cant be together)

*Interviewer:* But what about conflict?

*Bukalov:* It’s not that simple in conflict relations. You see, it’s not that simple at all. In the beginning partners are interested in each other. They are too unusual. Our colleague in Lvov made a huge experiment at the registry offices of Lvov. It was back in the 90’s, 2000’s. He tested couples that were getting married. And then he observed for how long they lived together. As it turned out the first marriage among the youth…in 40-50% of cases people get into conflict relations. And in 80 months this marriage breaks down. It was the most huge experiment. This unusualness attracts. But it takes for a great conflict about a year at work, in personal relation a little sooner. From a couple of months to 9-10 months. He also tested their values…various. How people felt about a family, partner, life…some additional responsibilities. And it turned out that in all relations apart from conflict values of partners after some time started to be similar. Some had stronger similarities, some weaker but they were nearing. They only differed in conflict relations. That’s the development we get.

*Interviewer:* What have you studied? Their health, some indicators?

*Bukalov:* We’ve studied the stability criterion of a married couple. Not health but stability. If they haven’t divorced in 2-3 years and continue to live in marriage, that’s a stability criterion. But they can live in an unhappy marriage. Some live in unhappy marriages, about 1-2% of conflict, 2-3% of revision, in business relations, illusory. We can’t say that they are happy, but also that they are very unhappy.

*Interviewer:* For example?

*Bukalov:* Well, if someone has non-organic psychological problems related to old fears…or strict upbringing or something else…It’s not unusual in our time. And in dual relations it all goes away. In unpleasant relations it gets worse.

*Interviewer:* In conflict, right?

*Bukalov:* In conflict, revision and some other relations. Quadral relations are great, because they heal many problems. After living together for a long time, partners adjust to each other… and everything gets smooth. Dual relations have a very small number of divorces. And they improve mental and physical health.

*Interviewer:* And conflict?

*Bukalov:* Everything is different in conflict and revision relations. Even if partners protect themselves psychologically, it still affects subconsciousness. Because you can’t hide informational interactions and subconsciousness. And people develop psychosomatic diseases. For example, it will affect one’s eyes and kidneys of another one. We’ve seen a married couple with kids, they didn’t know anything about Socionics but they found a psychological exit. Every night, almost till 12, they had guests. Friends, neighbors, relatives, someone else…who diluted them. Then they went to sleep, went to work in the morning, and when they came back, someone was visiting them. And in this way they’ve been living for years. But what I said about eyes, liver, and kidneys, they had severe symptoms. In unhealthy marriages very often one partner shrivels. That’s a slim disease syndrome. “I am sick, don’t touch me”. Because once they do something, they get criticized the same moment. And all of this later comes in form of psychosomatic diseases. So, people in dual relationships even live longer. Right? The thing is in Petersburg…physicians and others made experiments…I probable have told you already.

*Interviewer:* How do you think… is there something in dual relations that
makes them special? Or is there something to prove that dual are not the best relations?

*Bukalov:* Well, dual relations give a feeling of safety and comfort, and mutual supportiveness. When people understand each other not just at a glance…You’ve just thought of it, and the other person has already done it…That’s an interesting phenomenon. Because there’s a synchronization of data processing in mental processes. That is amazing. I used to live in a dual marriage myself. I can say for sure that… You don’t have to say a word, as it’s already happening. That’s the duality phenomenon. Activation relations are very good too but they are very bright, strong…They are too energetic, that’s why they are more rare. There are probably more people that live active dynamic lives with frequent separations. For example, actors. Their marriages are very often short. Because of tours, shootings, and so on. Many reactions of people are due to, as Aušra Augustinavičiūtė noticed, people have dual nature. Most of our involuntary actions are unconsciously intended for our dual partner to accept. Sometimes if people belong to different types they might not understand them. You see. But people send personality signals because of the dual aspect. There are quadral aspects and more complex, but first above all people show their dual nature.









Interview with Alexander Bukalov


Interview with Alexander Bukalov on Socionics Aleksander Bukalov is an Ukrainian socionics specialist, doctor of psychology, director of the International Institute of Socionics (IIS) (Interna…




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