# Need help deciding if to move



## sometimes (Dec 26, 2013)

NewMango said:


> hey guys, well thanks so much for the advice. got some really bad news today..this supposedly awesome lawyer was unable to get me the settlement he said he would be able to get. not even close. in fact, i've now waited all this time for basically nothing (when you subtract the retainer it's only 4k for me..the same I probably could have negotiated as severance @#$%!!!) I'm going to meet with him about it and ask him wtf happened before signing anything but yeah...fucking ugh when I had TWO lawyers (him and another one) quote me 45k and then 20k..
> 
> so yeah to say I'm bummed/pissed off is an understatement, had I known this would happen no way I would have even used a lawyer. 3 months of waiting for 4k?! which I probably would have gotten on my own immediately in May?!
> 
> but the significance of this is that I'm more than likely going to stay in the Bay Area now because I don't have the extra money cushion to go try to start new somewhere right now. i guess that makes the decision easier.


Oh, I was going to say go for it and move to the east coast. If you're young and thinking of moving to NYC then I don't see how that could really be a bad idea if you want to as long as you have a job first and somewhere decent to live not sharing with weirdos or anything. As living in a such a city for some time if you're so inclined would be a good experience surely or at least maybe living near there or somewhere new.


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

NewMango said:


> Hey guys, could really use some advice. Sorry in advance for the long rambly stuff here…
> 
> I'm currently living with my parents in the SF Bay Area and have about 5k in savings..
> 
> ...


Funny...I've been wanting to find an escape route to Bay area or San Jose, Seattle. I'm from SoCal. Traffic in L.A. is a B-I-T-C-_. So is cost of living.

You may like it out here if that's what your heart is saying. I got out of a similar predicament like yours in regards to sexual harassment at work. It's the worst feeling when you're only there to do your job, and you get placed in a situation where you didn't ask for, and somehow these people can get away with abusing their positions of power.

Taking time to re-piece your life is a great idea, and if you feel L.A. is the spot for you, then you may want to find the courage to leave the nest so you find the strength within yourself to heal, especially if you have the opportunity, because being stuck in one spot sure won't help with how you feel about your own progression in life if you're already feeling down.


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## MolaMola (Jul 28, 2012)

Okay, now deciding between NYC, after thoroughly considering DC for a time.


Anyone have a dog in the fight for San Francisco vs NYC? Anyhow, about to make a big pro-con list. I've changed my Linkedin to say "New York" and will be applying to jobs with a fake NYC address, and I think also applying to jobs in SF with my actual SF bay Area address.

What's holding me back is not having a job prior to moving so that's my game plan at the moment.


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## ShinyHappyPeople (Jul 30, 2016)

NewMango said:


> I've changed my Linkedin to say "New York" and will be applying to jobs with a fake NYC address.


And then what are you going to do when people ask you to show up in NYC for an interview? Also, any job that does a background check is going to find out you're lying. Whether or not they care who knows, but they're definitely going to ask for your last ~7 years of addresses and if they find out you lied that could be grounds for termination.


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## MolaMola (Jul 28, 2012)

ShinyHappyPeople said:


> And then what are you going to do when people ask you to show up in NYC for an interview? Also, any job that does a background check is going to find out you're lying. Whether or not they care who knows, but they're definitely going to ask for your last ~7 years of addresses and if they find out you lied that could be grounds for termination.


I have never been asked for the last 7 years of addresses in any job I've had. To be honest, I tried applying from California with my actual California address and got 0 hits in DC or NYC last time I was applying for jobs, for stuff I'm qualified for. An HR manager told me to just flat out put an NYC address on the application because otherwise, at my level I'll just automatically get tossed. 


So IT's either lie and possibly get an interview, or not lie and have 0 chance of even being considered. So def taking the first option.


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## MolaMola (Jul 28, 2012)

Honestly, if it's a really good job? I might fly to NYC for an interview...

The other option I have is to just move without a job, but that is a scary proposition for me. I've moved a lot, even to a different country, but each time I had a job lined up, or, I could live with my parents until I found a job.


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