# Do you like to cuddle?



## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I was thinking about how black and white some of those cuddle questions were on that test for love languages. 

Because I kept thinking well when faced between the priorities of choice and placement I ranked cuddling rather low compared to the other options.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Personally I both do and do not like cuddles. 

I don’t like when it is in high demand and expected of me. Where I have to answer for, or my lack of cuddles is put into question to have a hidden meaning. Which I’ve encountered in a few prior instances. Like that expectation and shit is super annoying because then I feel like it’s a chore. 

But I don’t not like cuddling like ever. Like a warm embrace in the right moment is nice. Also I read many studies on attachment theory that correlated physical affection to sorta lay out the road map for this kinda thing. Even before I read much about attachment theory I’d known I needed to be more physically affectionate to my children than how I grew up. But sometimes it was still forced (not always) but sometimes.

I do believe in the importance of hugs and kisses etc in appropriation. As far as I think it does release endorphins etc and provides physical security etc. 

Again I just don’t like it as a chore. Like it’s one thing to lay side to side and strum your hand along a lovers body. Vs playing big spoon and little spoon and then getting sweaty and having the awkward transition of pulling away when someone falls asleep on you and snores in your ear, lol. Or your limbs fall asleep etc. 

I totally love sleeping with separate blankets. I can’t stand sharing a blanket. I also don’t like even sharing a queen bed. I sleep on a king bed just to myself. I like taking the blanket and wrapping myself up like a caterpillar. 

I can’t stand when someone comes up and tries to randomly tickle or anything of the sort. I find unannounced tickling a physical violation. And have continually warned people you do it don’t blame me if I swing and hit ya outta reflex. 

But it’s not like I don’t like any affection. I’m way more of a side to side rather than overtly spooning kinda person (that shit is suffocating). 

I really don’t even see a problem with sleeping in separate beds or rooms. Especially if someone snores. Lol why do physical people view that as being unloved. Why the hell should I have to try to sleep through snoring to prove love to someone. Is it love to make me suffer through snoring 🤣.

Anyways I vote only very briefly in sporadic intimate moments. Or like I said just sitting side to side with maybe hand on other person or arm around etc. leaning in. As far as my kids go, I always give them a kiss on cheek and a hug when either going to bed, or saying bye. And if they are upset or sick will go and embrace them and usually rub their head. I do try give them hugs sporadically too. I couldn’t even handle the damn cat constantly trying to be up in my shit. I mean I wasn’t mean to it. But I was just like omfg why do you need so much attention lol.

I absolutely do not like hugging acquaintances in greetings. Or shaking strangers hands. I’m a germaphobe when I’m outside my personal home environment. Shaking hands to me was gross way before Covid lol. 

I remember once this weirdo at a bar tried to touch mine and my friends cheeks. I instantly snapped. And was like get your dick beater off our faces. We have no fucken clue if you washed your hands or not and we are not in a relationship with you. Aside from physical space violations I found it absolutely disgusting he’d think it ok to touch a woman’s face unannounced who he wasn’t with (that is so fucken gross 🤢).


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## Penny (Mar 24, 2016)

I like to cuddle. I can take a lot of cuddle abuse and not mind so much, but yeah sometimes it can get to be too much. Sometimes it's nice to have some space too.


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## mia-me (Feb 5, 2021)

Context drives, especially with whom. Presuming this is in relation to romantic partners, not in public. Quick hugs, hand holding, an arm across the shoulder/waist, light touch on the back or elbow, are fine. But cuddling can be nice in private and is a necessity in particular situations.


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

I haven't been in a relationship or had sex or cuddled with anyone for over a decade so I can't really remember.

I do like cuddling, but I also get hot easily, and so I also like having my own space.

I think it's like an on/off thing--sometimes it's nice and I have preferences. I prefer to be the little spoon I think. I think it's just something you play by ear.

I had trouble with the 5 love language test I think...because if I was to like choose between someone touching me or getting a gift, I would think that the gift took more time--it would mean that the person thought of me when I wasn't around (which is important to me because that's how I treat romance too and it's part of why I think I wouldn't cheat...because I'm thinking of the person when they aren't around too)...it gave me gifts as my main love language, which is just not true. I do value gifts but I mean if I was to choose a relationship with no cuddling or no gifts, I'd choose no gifts. 

I value my comfort and the comfort of th eother person--so sometimes that means being physically apart (like when it's hot) and sometimes it means cuddling?


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## Flabarac Brupip (May 9, 2020)

Cuddling is the most I've done tbh. But it was very nice.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Sensational said:


> I was thinking about how black and white some of those cuddle questions were on that test for love languages.
> 
> Because I kept thinking well when faced between the priorities of choice and placement I ranked cuddling rather low compared to the other options.


I remember a time when I didn't, but then I was with a sensor who loved to touch me for 20 years. She got me used to it. When she was gone, I missed it.


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## Sily (Oct 24, 2008)

No. It's too weird.


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

I've always had this recurring fantasy in which I lay on a couch with a romantic partner, and watch a movie while being held.

I have no idea why this has been so persistent, but in my mind it's never happened. And I also can't imagine that it actually hasn't, because I've been in relationships that lasted years and had cuddling etc. I am fairly certain that the scenario has actually happened, and yet whatever part of my mind that comes up with it sometimes insists that it's never happened before and poor me, because everyone else has done it but me.

I think maybe it's just I've seen it in films? Or tv shows? I mean...okay...well, maybe I haven't had a couch much of my life--so perhaps it hasn't happened because not everyone has couches.

It's just such a weirdly persistent fantasy. But I suppose that's considered cuddling.

edit: it is also not because I am fat. I was relatively tiny most of my dating life--though now when I think about it, perhaps I wouldn't be able to do this because I am fat. lol Even if I ever do date again.


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## 497882 (Nov 6, 2017)

Sensational said:


> I was thinking about how black and white some of those cuddle questions were on that test for love languages.
> 
> Because I kept thinking well when faced between the priorities of choice and placement I ranked cuddling rather low compared to the other options.


 No becuase I know that physical contact is suggestive and so being touched fills me with absolute panic.


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## Red Panda (Aug 18, 2010)

I can cuddle for hours.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

WickerDeer said:


> I've always had this recurring fantasy in which I lay on a couch with a romantic partner, and watch a movie while being held.
> 
> I have no idea why this has been so persistent, but in my mind it's never happened. And I also can't imagine that it actually hasn't, because I've been in relationships that lasted years and had cuddling etc. I am fairly certain that the scenario has actually happened, and yet whatever part of my mind that comes up with it sometimes insists that it's never happened before and poor me, because everyone else has done it but me.
> 
> ...


Totally done this with several partners.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Red Panda said:


> I can cuddle for hours.


Is it because you're an adorable red panda?


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## Red Panda (Aug 18, 2010)

tanstaafl28 said:


> Is it because you're an adorable red panda?


it adds a few hours yes


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

tanstaafl28 said:


> Totally done this with several partners.


I think I just never had a couch or...or perhaps not a TV. Oh well. Glad others have done it.

I think that's probably it--my first long term relationship we didn't have a TV. Second one, did not have a couch. I will get over it I guess. : p


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## deafcrossfitter (Nov 30, 2019)

Yup, sure do. Not friends or family members though. Only my boyfriend.


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## deafcrossfitter (Nov 30, 2019)

Red Panda said:


> it adds a few hours yes


Oh, I thought it was because you are Greek.


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## Full_fathom_4 (Jan 23, 2018)

Sp's like to 'cuddle'. All that good physical stuff.


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## Hexigoon (Mar 12, 2018)

They're nice from time to time.


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## elevatorman (Mar 29, 2013)

It's especially nice in the morning (into the afternoon, ideally). Lying and cuddling in bed throughout the day, forgetting the outside world exists can be one of the most wonderful times in life.
At night I do like it, until I get too hot and uncomfortable.


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

I like to cuddle when it’s cold and not cuddling when it’s hot. But generally speaking cuddling > no cuddling coz if I wanted to not cuddle I’d just interact with anyone else coz I don’t cuddle with anyone else aside from s.o


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## SgtPepper (Nov 22, 2016)

certified cuddler


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## Bluefireluv (Jun 17, 2013)

I LOVE CUDDLING.

But then again I've never experienced someone who wanted to cuddle too much.


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## Red Panda (Aug 18, 2010)

deafcrossfitter said:


> Oh, I thought it was because you are Greek.


adds up to 1hr


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## Red Panda (Aug 18, 2010)

__
https://www.reddit.com/r/Siamesecats/comments/i9poi6


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## Miharu (Apr 1, 2015)

I thought I didn’t, but then I fell in love once and it felt nice. So yes, I do. It’s heaps better than not cuddling with s/o. But there were definitely many moments when I refused one (or quickly got out of one), because I didn’t feel like it or I didn’t want to be touched. I suppose there is a mood for it. 

Cuddling with friends and family though, I’d have to say no. I don’t think I’d be comfortable.


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## Flabarac Brupip (May 9, 2020)

Miharu said:


> Cuddling with friends and family though, I’d have to say no. I don’t think I’d be comfortable.


Lol. Definitely not for me either. Things would also get awkward really fast between my guy friends and I if one of us wanted to cuddle with another.


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## thisisme (Apr 11, 2010)

i'm very cuddly, yep. 

*not like spooning all the time like but definitely overlapping body parts often while watching tv etc


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

Yes. And I've been told that I'm amazing cuddler  An ex's nickname for me was "snuggle worm" which was kinda cute. 

As far as snoring goes - just rubbing the person usually makes it stop. I've only dated one guy for whom that didn't work, and it didn't last for long lol. 

Physical touch is my first love language. Ofc, cuddles are best had after sex.


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## ai.tran.75 (Feb 26, 2014)

I love cuddling with my kiddos - romance wise is enjoyable as well but unless I’m almost sleeping or watching something entertaining ( it can only last for 5 -7 minutes) I’ll get bored otherwise 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

elevatorman said:


> It's especially nice in the morning (into the afternoon, ideally). Lying and cuddling in bed throughout the day, forgetting the outside world exists can be one of the most wonderful times in life.
> At night I do like it, until I get too hot and uncomfortable.


Ok I’m down with a day of playing hookie laying around cuddling, that sounds nice.


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

Sensational said:


> Ok I’m down with a day of playing hookie laying around cuddling, that sounds nice.


Haha! Okay, so true story, pretty sure my ex was an ESTP like you. We were very physically affectionate with each other, but we never had one of these days. The closest we got to it was when I sorta guilted him into shrooming with me. To be fair to myself, we'd both done it before and had talked about doing it together, on our first date. And then I found a guy! I provided! Lol. 

I felt like I was always craving just like a weekend in bed bonding time though. He felt like the day wasn't accomplished or some sh*t unless he'd done (imo) some menial task.

Is that fair? Lol. Curious to hear a response.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Veggie said:


> Haha! Okay, so true story, pretty sure my ex was an ESTP like you. We were very physically affectionate with each other, but we never had one of these days. The closest we got to it was when I sorta guilted him into shrooming with me. To be fair to myself, we'd both done it before and had talked about doing it together, on our first date. And then I found a guy! I provided! Lol.
> 
> I felt like I was always craving just like a weekend in bed bonding time though. He felt like the day wasn't accomplished or some sh*t unless he'd done (imo) some menial task.
> 
> Is that fair? Lol. Curious to hear a response.


Well I actually think that sounds fun 🤣. I haven’t done shrooms in like 20 years. I’m not eating the fucken caps though just the stem 😉.

Im sorta similar. I’m a slave to tasks in my head. But not necessarily menial (like chores, I can actually procrastinate that stuff 🤣). I get more hooked on usually working and project management. But still falls into your point on priorities maybe being outta whack.

But yeah just to be clear I think you were on the right track. I can’t speak for him. But I secretly want the right person to slam my laptop shut or take my clipboards away nicely, and pull me away from my own insanity lol, and have take out all day and just lay doing nothing with someone I love. (No ones ever tried 🤣). It’d be amazing though just laying around doing nothing with someone but enjoying each other for a whole day.


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## Red Panda (Aug 18, 2010)

__
https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/s2qmhn


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## islandlight (Aug 13, 2013)

Cuddling is great.

But not while trying to sleep. I can't fall asleep with an arm or leg under me or on me, or someone trying to strangle cuddle me.


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## Eu_citzen (Jan 18, 2018)

I do, yes, with an SO. Would probably get boring if kept up for too long. 
Unless watching a movie, before falling asleep, or something similar. It should also not be too hot/warm. 

In general, I like physical touch; both touching and being touched. 
A cuddle is best enjoyed with some playful tickling, or the likes, every so often, too.


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## Queen of Cups (Feb 26, 2010)

Yes. My husband calls me Cuddlemonkey lol



Veggie said:


> I felt like I was always craving just like a weekend in bed bonding time though


Those are the best, tbh

And it's not even about sex, but intimacy. Granted sex does happen, but, it's more the by-product than the goal. (if that makes sense)


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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)

Strangers trying to touch me or get in my invisible bubble space =no
Friends = Dependent on friend and more limited
SO =yes

Physical Touch and Quality Time are tied for me. One point less than Acts of service.


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## Eilidh (Dec 18, 2021)

i like a good tickle.


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## RainyMornings (Jul 24, 2018)

Nope, because I have never spent enough time with anyone doors closed. 
I wouldn't cuddle with someone I havw no intention of loving her, especially since everyone I knew were so already obsessed enough and I hate drama. 
I want to get married though, but I don't see it happening anytime soon.


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