# Any outgoing INFPs?



## phoenixpinion (Dec 27, 2012)

Laeona said:


> INFP's can learn to be outgoing, especially if they have good role models (parents, guardians, friends) who are that way.
> 
> I was extremely shy as a child, but as I've grown, I've cultivated a rather outgoing spirit.


Everyone was shy as a child. How can you not be when you see grown-ups eating their deity's (Jesus) body and blood in church? Everyone was shy because this world looks like a madhouse to a newbie.


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## Pandering (Jul 18, 2013)

phoenixpinion said:


> Everyone was shy as a child. How can you not be when you see grown-ups eating their deity's (Jesus) body and blood in church? Everyone was shy because this world looks like a madhouse to a newbie.


lol! ^ that cracked me up. I'd say that I'm an "outgoing" INFP. But I felt that my Enneagram being a 7w6 really is the driving force behind my perceived outgoing nature. Have you taken the Enneagram test? If so I wonder if this would help out at all.
when I read about the 7w6 I was like YES! My drive is optimizing fun and the entertainment value in any given situation. Being motivated bykind of anti-stagnation mentality. But my true passion lies with the written word, when I can set aside the escapist entertainer and not fall into the darkness of never wanting to be a part of humanity. It's been a bit torturous at times, this duality.....and has driven me to be engrossed with trying to find a good balance between my need for excitement and pleasure and my need for stillness and being left to my own inner workings. I want it all! And I'm coming to terms with that I need it all, but finding a balance has been difficult and when I don't have that balance I get sick more and I start hating my life and resenting people. Even though its not their fault, it's mine......anyway......I dunno if any of that is helpful. But I relate highly to INFP AND Enneagram 7w6, both describe me accurately which would indicate I'm a mess......errrr an outgoing INFP.....I cringe even typing "outgoing INFP" hah.


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## Debaser (Jul 17, 2013)

phoenixpinion said:


> Everyone was shy as a child. How can you not be when you see grown-ups eating their deity's (Jesus) body and blood in church? Everyone was shy because this world looks like a madhouse to a newbie.


In an alternate universe where Christianity never became a mainstream religion and only survived as a cult, this would be seen as a barbaric, savage, and extremely disturbing ritual by everybody who thinks nothing of it and participates in it today. Shows you just how much religion represses the brain through indoctrination.


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## aimless (Jul 18, 2013)

Not an infp,only on Mondays

def outgoing


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## Pandering (Jul 18, 2013)

aimless said:


> Not an infp,only on Mondays
> 
> def outgoing


I don't even know what that means. What does that mean? ^


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## phoenixpinion (Dec 27, 2012)

Pandering said:


> But I relate highly to INFP AND Enneagram 7w6, both describe me accurately which would indicate I'm a mess......errrr an outgoing INFP.....I cringe even typing "outgoing INFP" hah.


Like I said before, I do not believe for a sec that there is such a thing as an "ingoing" person, since humanity is a social species by nature. Take a look at the life of big cats, polar bears, etc (lone wolf predators). Now that is being asocial. No introvert can match the life of those animals. Introvert=/=asocial, because only a few percent of the population suffers from asocial personality disorder, while introverts are as much as 40 percent (wild guess).

Introverts and extraverts imho both need equal amount of human contact. The difference is that extraverts are happy with a constant stream of facebook likes or meaningless chitchat (quantity), while introverts prefer small group face-to-face interaction once-in-a-while (quality).
I personally am still not sure if I am introvert or extravert, because I love big crowds as well as contemplating alone. I try to adapt to my environment.


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## Pandering (Jul 18, 2013)

phoenixpinion said:


> Like I said before, I do not believe for a sec that there is such a thing as an "ingoing" person, since humanity is a social species by nature. Take a look at the life of big cats, polar bears, etc (lone wolf predators). Now that is being asocial. No introvert can match the life of those animals. Introvert=/=asocial, because only a few percent of the population suffers from asocial personality disorder, while introverts are as much as 40 percent (wild guess).
> 
> Introverts and extraverts imho both need equal amount of human contact. The difference is that extraverts are happy with 100 random facebook likes (quantity), while introverts prefer small group face-to-face interaction (quality).
> I personally am still not sure if I am introvert or extravert, because I love big crowds as well as contemplating alone. I try to adapt to my environment.


I am sure that I am an introvert, because I've taken a lot of deliberate effort to become a more social creature. But this push toward excitement, party's, concerts etc. so that I don't isolate myself endlessly which leads eventually to me becoming too reclusive and self-absorbed...well anyway that push has led me down this tidal wave path of being an "Entertaining" introvert. And has resulted in me having at times major anxiety issues. This happened because I used to feel invisible or like a shadow of humans, like I didn't matter. I still carry that with me and I don't want anyone to ever feel like that in social settings. And now many times I attract a crowd of people around me and people are drawn in.

I read what you're saying, but my preference is honestly being with one close close friend, hanging at the house in my PJ's. But if I do too much of that I get bored and need to get my kicks and fun and spontaneity out by dancing, singing, hysterically laughing etc. But I'd probably fine doing the big group thing about once a month. Most people when they first meet me would definitely think I'm an extrovert, because I've made myself approachable, try to be engaging and I joke around a lot.


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## phoenixpinion (Dec 27, 2012)

Pandering said:


> I am sure that I am an introvert, because I've taken a lot of deliberate effort to become a more social creature. But this push toward excitement, party's, concerts etc. so that I don't isolate myself endlessly which leads eventually to me becoming too reclusive and self-absorbed...well anyway that push has led me down this tidal wave path of being an "Entertaining" introvert. And has resulted in me having at times major anxiety issues. .


You're already a social creature! It's in your bloody nature! The introvert-extravert question is only about if you're a quiet small group type creature or a loud big group type creature?

Hence, do you see big group type creature making deliberate efforts to become more reclusive? NO! So why do I see introverts everywhere pushing themselves to becoming big group types? Just stay true to who you are. This whole idea (of introverts need to be more party animals) is stupid in the first place and is extravert dogma because our society at large is extraverted. You don't see cats trying to become wolves do you?

Just laugh at these extraverts who think they're something wrong with you for not being like them. Tell them there's something wrong with them for hating diversity and wanting to turn everyone into clones of themselves. Such obnoxious extraverts I wouldn't want to be friends with in the first place. This is my extravert speaking.

What I witness here in modern society is I believe a kind of imbalance. Introverts are too unsure of themselves (masochism) and extraverts are too sure of themselves (dominance). WHERE ARE THE DOMINANT INTROVERTS?? You don't see this in the East. Introverts are actually viewed as normal there. Introverts also smile better than extraverts, because on these rare occasions that they actually smile, you know it's on. Extraverts kinda use the same old smiley at everyone... They even laugh when things aren't funny! HOW FUCKING BORING. You don't laugh when things aren't funny dude!


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## Pandering (Jul 18, 2013)

phoenixpinion said:


> You're already a social creature! It's in your bloody nature! The introvert-extravert question is only about if you're a quiet small group type creature or a loud big group type creature?
> 
> Hence, do you see big group type creature making deliberate efforts to become more reclusive? NO! So why do I see introverts everywhere pushing themselves to becoming big group types? Just stay true to who you are. This whole idea (of introverts need to be more party animals) is stupid in the first place and is extravert dogma because our society at large is extraverted. You don't see cats trying to become wolves do you?
> 
> Just laugh at these extraverts who think they're something wrong with you for not being like them. Tell them there's something wrong with them for hating diversity.


I understand what you're saying, however I have the attention span of a flittering hummingbird and get bored with always doing the same things all the time. I thrive off of new experiences and seeking out experiences that aren't commonplace. I know I'm a social creature, which is why I said a MORE social creature, that was more for me to find more amusement and enjoyment in life when I do choose to go out. I'm very much so the life of the party by me just traipsing around and being my little charming self. ;-P 
I don't know when....but eventually this turned into a persona.....a persona that I quite enjoy at times, but when I just want to kick back and not have that persona on, everyone is like "what's wrong" and they try to pry into my emotions which makes me really uncomfortable and so I bring out the jokes and my flippant way of switching from topic to topic. Either that or I decide I just need to go home.


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## Quork (Aug 17, 2012)

phoenixpinion said:


> Everyone was shy as a child. How can you not be when you see grown-ups eating their deity's (Jesus) body and blood in church? Everyone was shy because this world looks like a madhouse to a newbie.


I sort of love you just a little bit for saying this.



phoenixpinion said:


> You're already a social creature! It's in your bloody nature! The introvert-extravert question is only about if you're a quiet small group type creature or a loud big group type creature?
> 
> Hence, do you see big group type creature making deliberate efforts to become more reclusive? NO! So why do I see introverts everywhere pushing themselves to becoming big group types? Just stay true to who you are. This whole idea (of introverts need to be more party animals) is stupid in the first place and is extravert dogma because our society at large is extraverted. You don't see cats trying to become wolves do you?
> 
> ...


Here's a song for you: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NXg_P-z1XQ>
@Dragon_Flight what specifically aside from the shyness of INFPs do you not relate to? Because if that's it, I think you're good. I don't relate to the INFP shyness much, I consider myself reserved and not shy (an ISFJ friend was so surprised I got Introverted because of how energetic and emotional I can be around her). I also very moderate with my F and P so maybe there's some balances in your functions that's making you be different from the average INFP, which I find to be stupid as I think the functions are definitely less static than they seem especially since we have ALL 8 functions.


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## Pandering (Jul 18, 2013)

Quoin the Haigyst said:


> I sort of love you just a little bit for saying this.


Right? Haha one of the best quotes everrrrrrrr ;-p and you make some good points as well. Do you feel as if your Enneagram results have much bearing on how your INFP manifests @Quoin the Haigyst?


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## Nyu (Jun 29, 2013)

I work with a very social INFP. he talks, a lot. He sounds like he is pretty lonely and would like more people to go out with outside of work, I would pin him to be pretty extroverted.


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## Quork (Aug 17, 2012)

Pandering said:


> Right? Haha one of the best quotes everrrrrrrr ;-p and you make some good points as well. Do you feel as if your Enneagram results have much bearing on how your INFP manifests @_Quoin the Haigyst_?


I'd have to ask the INFPs who got 9w1 and 4w5 as there Enneagram type (quite a few did in the 9 Enneagram section) if they were like me in terms of shyness to see how it works and then give my opinion with that research, but I'm not sure I'm up to it at the moment, which unfortunately means I'll probably never get to it.

Based on some introspection and some observations, I don't think Enneagram type effects my INFP-ness as I think quite a few INFPs got 4w5 and they still were shy. I think the way I am has to do with my Fi aka what I value. What I value most is being open-minded and many times throughout the day this value is violated especially in my non-Fi household (my father and sister are ISTJ and ESTJ respectively while my mother and other sister are ESFJ and ISFJ respectively) therefore I grew up being defensive of my beliefs, feeling secluded from my family, but, possibly due to my introvertedness, remaining a joyful person as my openness made me open to the idea of ideas not like mine especially living with people very much unlike me so I gained balance with my Fi. I've never thought of it before, but because I live in a total SJ family, maybe I've learned to balance my functions better. Huh, this a breakthrough that I never really thought of. This is one of those moments that proves why I _should_ actually socialize with others (albeit on an internet forum through a glowing screen LOLz).


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## Pandering (Jul 18, 2013)

Quoin the Haigyst said:


> I'd have to ask the INFPs who got 9w1 and 4w5 as there Enneagram type (quite a few did in the 9 Enneagram section) if they were like me in terms of shyness to see how it works and then give my opinion with that research, but I'm not sure I'm up to it at the moment, which unfortunately means I'll probably never get to it.
> 
> 
> Based on some introspection and some observations, I don't think Enneagram type effects my INFP-ness as I think quite a few INFPs got 4w5 and they still were shy. I think the way I am has to do with my Fi aka what I value. What I value most is being open-minded and many times throughout the day this value is violated especially in my non-Fi household (my father and sister are ISTJ and ESTJ respectively while my mother and other sister are ESFJ and ISFJ respectively) therefore I grew up being defensive of my beliefs, feeling secluded from my family, but, possibly due to my introvertedness, remaining a joyful person as my openness made me open to the idea of ideas not like mine especially living with people very much unlike me so I gained balance with my Fi. I've never thought of it before, but because I live in a total SJ family, maybe I've learned to balance my functions better. Huh, this a breakthrough that I never really thought of. This is one of those moments that proves why I should actually socialize with others (albeit on an internet forum through a glowing screen LOLz).



Revelations are awesome! Glad you got to experience that while typing that up. And yes socializing can reveal all kinds of interesting things about one's self that otherwise might remain hidden. I tested as 7w6 as highest score, then 9w8 and third 4w5. I could relate a bit to all three of those in a way, but got bored with the 9w8. I definitely hate conflict and try to create a since of peace.....but I can also be rather provocative in my interactions with people, even if many times that is unintentional. And I could easily have been a 4w5 as a teen, but I'm kind of over it. I'm fine with just being me whether that includes blending in, not blending in or whatever. There is a time and place for everything in that regard. Do I feel still that the inner workings of me and How I function are misunderstood by the vast majority of people? Sure! But I'm way more and possibly even completely ok with that the older I get. As long as I have at least one or two loyal friends who I deeply trust, that makes me feel secure. I feel I'm a bit off on a ramble now, but I feel that me saying that I am definitely an INFp and I definitely can be the life of the party, makes it sound like I'm just a fake and just trying to go along with extroversion. When simply around my late teens I got to the miserable point of existence and was like screw this! How can I live life most enjoyably and have the most fun existence possible, while still maintaining my strong desire to be a "Healer". I did and still do consistently push beyond my comfort zone, for the sheer excitement and adrenaline rush. I love making people laugh and brightening another person's day and many situations do give way to laughter being the best medicine. However in the past my need for escaping difficult situations has pushed me toward complete and utter denial and a disconnect between external happiness and internal happiness. If that last sentence even made sense? Ok I'm definitely on a ramble now......


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## Kiarie (Jul 19, 2013)

I'm not very outgoing,but if someone invites me out,I'd like to join in the fun.


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## tenbandequalizer (Jul 18, 2013)

*I hope this isn't too long- if you care not to read, at least skip to the paragraphs in blue *

I've been typed, and objectively considered by my job counselor, as an INFP. I personally felt, before understanding Myers-Brigg, that I was introverted, but I didn't feel as though I was a strong introvert. I tested 0 / 28 (landing me square on introvert), and my counselor thought the same, so why didn't I believe so? 

I had to take a step back to understand my introversion, because I knew in some instances, I did not feel introverted at all. I was, particularly, a very persuasive sales person- I worked as an activist and fundraiser during my last year in college and onward for about a year, after which I worked in fashion sales (primarily men's suiting and shoes) for approximately four years. 

Seemingly a perfect INFP job, this job had a combination of activism and fundraising for various political and issue related groups. At the core of the job however was fundraising, which included many quotas. It involved talking to people using (and being able to improvise with) memorized scripts (think acting, also INFP related), conveying both feelings and facts (persuasion again is very important), in order to win over supporters- and they're money in the form of donations. Quotas aside, I excelled in this job, but I had an easier time when my beliefs were not challenged- such as working on campaigns that were non-political. Eventually I cracked- the political side of this job was not right for me. 

I left the stresses of politics behind and worked selling clothing and shoes for about four years my adult life. Most successful sellers are generally ESTJ, ESTP, ESFP, ENTP, ENFJ, and ISTP, but this largely depends on the medium I believe (remember fashion designers are often INFP). I spent four years in sales and sales management with the majority of my success in sales (with absolutely no management degree!). I adopted a selling technique that was different from my coworkers. Eventually, something kicked in and stress to over to the point where I wanted out. 

The reason I did not feel introverted was simple- I was able to create a bond with the customer. It's very typical in fundraising to 'win the trust' of the person you expect to be your potential donor. I felt very comfortable doing this on a one on one basis, as if I was the actor, rather than the seller. When it came to sales, I saw my clients as just who they were- clients (not as people or numbers who walk into the store to buy something). This allowed me to immediately relate to them and assist them such in a way that a counselor would assist his or her client. I could open up with the client in ways that I could never open up with anyone not in my close nit group (if you're familiar with uchi / soto, I'm an uchi person). Basically, I would let the clients temporarily into my introverted world- they were a guest, and while I was working, they were more than welcomed to enter. It felt great, but here's the catch- *at the end of the day, I was tired- even an eight or nine hour shift of sales taxed me beyond belief*. I could spend hours researching, hours participating in activism, and when the day was done, go out and have fun. When I was doing sales, I was having no fun outside of work- I was always yearning for that vacation, for that moment to escape, despite my accomplishments. At least with fundraising, it wasn't so bad- I was able to cycle to and from work (15 miles each way) to burn off the stress, but I still felt like I had no energy at the end of the day. 

So to answer your question, can an INFP be outgoing, I think the short answer is *YES*. Contextually, however, these outgoing endeavors can be draining, and perhaps they are specific in nature. 

On the matter of whether you are an INFP or ENFP? The question I will ask you is, "Will you get tired from it?" The question is not "Will you get tired and bored with it?", but more of a matter of how you will feel after you are finished. _ Assuming you have free time after a long and hard day of work (in the above mentioned paragraph), if your friend calls you at 7:00PM to hang out, _*Will you say YES (ENFP) or NO (INFP)*.

At least, that's what I think...

This is a very valid question indeed as I have experienced it!


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## Moonrise (Mar 22, 2013)

Dragon Flight said:


> I can't tell if I'm an ENFP or an INFP. Every time I take a MBTI test I get INFP, but when I read the description, I feel like that's not totally me. I fall in the middle.(my scores when talking about E vs. I are really close) I'm not that shy and reserved. I can be a little bit impulsive in some situations and I tend to be outgoing. I sometimes do stupid things and act before I think. I like talking to new people, but I can't say I have a large group of friends because I have a very strong definition of "friend" and I don't make what I call "friends" that easy.
> It's very weird because I think I learned to be an extrovert. Depending on my mood, I can take energy from both spending time with people and spending time alone.I like, I LOVE deep conversations. When I first read the ENFP description I thought: "OMG, that's kinda me!", but still, it doesn't describe me perfectly because I love spending time alone, creating stories, ideas... You know, I'm not "the life of the party"..I heard that ENFPs are the "introverts of the extroverts".
> I tend to be very extroverted around shy persons and try to make them open up. I like making people laugh. But if the person near me is very loud and talkative I act like an introvert.
> I also can't say my tendencies when I was a kid... I was shy, I seemed to be an introvert and very INFP, but I can't remember where I liked to take energy from- i didn't pay attention to such things then.
> ...


Okay here goes my attempt ~deep breath~
1. All the ENxPs I've known call themselves ambiverted or confused about I vs E. All INxPs have known for sure they are introverted
2. My ENFP talks to anyone with an open mind, she has an impossibly big circle of acquaintances but very few true friends, just as you seem to say. My INFP friend talks to anyone too, but in a more begrudging manner. The ENFP loves the thrill of meeting people, the INFP just wants to talk quietly and do art.
3. ENFPs love depth, and often require time alone just as you. However, and correct me if I'm wrong, you feel like maybe at a certain point the solitude becomes overwhelming and you need interaction? If so, that is very much ENFP-esque.
4. My ENFP was always shy, so was my INFP but in a different way. The ENFP read, wrote and imagined a lot. Did you have many other kids to choose to play with? (My INFP chose to be alone, my ENFP sometimes was left no choice ;-
5. Your friends would never believe you if you said you were an introvert? My ENFP has had this exact same discussion with me many times, and she fails to see how she is literally a walking Ne-Fi description. After each discussion, she sees my point and concedes that yes, she does draw energy from interaction!
6. My ENFP also tries to draw out shy people in a loud, fun, personable manner. My INFP does too, but only quietly and gently, and if the person seems to like their bubble she withdraws and stays quiet too, perfectly happy. My ENFP is quiet around loud people too.
7. Your writing tone and word choice ~feels~ ENFP, to me at least.

If these points don't make sense, I'm sorry, I'm doing my best to figure out my thoughts from ages ago! Good luck figuring it out


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## Sol_ (Jan 8, 2013)

Try types descriptions in Socionics, they are more correct for introverted types.


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## starryskies (Jul 26, 2013)

Every time I have tested I get a very strong Introvert preference, but I think I can be really outgoing. When I am surrounded by people like ESFP's I find their energy infectious and all I want to do is dance, have fun and go out. I think I really change a lot depending on who I am hanging out with and what mood I'm in.


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## LateBloomer (Jul 26, 2013)

That's so funny my Husband is an ISTP and I call him Boomhauer.


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