# I Started Crying While Masturbating.



## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

I hate being female. Im so sick of this shit. This only happens to people with vaginas.

This shit hasn't happened to me since I was 12 fucking years old.

I go to masturbate, as usual, then I start sobbing. I cant believe it.

Have you ever cried so hard, while thinking "What the fuck am I crying about?", and "Godddanm I hate this shit"?

That was just me, seconds ago. Puzzled as to why the gods hate me, and my sex life so much; I cant get a break.

It is such a turn off that I couldn't finish; I literally took my toy and threw it across the room in rage.

I know it means I have some odd emotional issues going on (I dont let them out to play enough, sue me), but I dont recall how to fix the issue. It's been so long since ive broken out in tears over an almost-completed orgasm.

This is why I cling to atheism; because if there were a god, he would be too busy saving the world to intentionally fuck up my sex life like this.

I wanna crawl inside of a cave and die.


Does anyone know how to fix this? 

And I promise I wont make anymore threads about my horrible sex life for awhile.:kitteh:


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

Talk or Somatic therapy. Seriously.

There's an interesting section in Self-compassion by Kristen Neff about how she healed emotional issues related to sex. You might like it.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

strangestdude said:


> Talk or Somatic therapy. Seriously.
> 
> There's an interesting section in Self-compassion by Kristen Neff about how she healed emotional issues related to sex. You might like it.



The only issue is, I dont have sexual emotional issues.

My sex life has been pretty good compared to most people's. I love sex. I'm just not getting any.


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## Enfpleasantly (Mar 5, 2012)

I'm sorry @TWN...it seems to me maybe you have something going on related to sexuality that does this to you. It makes me wonder if someone hurt you when you were younger. I think the best way to overcome things like this is to seek help. Maybe a therapist you will feel comfortable talking openly with? 

I know that's usually what everyone says...see someone. I also know this isn't for everyone. Whenever I am confused or struggling with something, I personally cope by trying to learn as much as I possibly can about it. If you can identify why it is you might have these emotional responses, maybe you could seek out information about it, to better inform yourself and equip you with what you might need to overcome it. 

Best of luck to you.


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

TWN said:


> The only issue is, I dont have sexual emotional issues.
> 
> My sex life has been pretty good compared to most people's. I love sex. I'm just not getting any.


OK. 

I still recommend somatic therapy and self help. I've always sensed some kind of 'pent up persona' in your posts (though I could be wrong).


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

Enfpleasantly said:


> I'm sorry @_TWN_...it seems to me maybe you have something going on related to sexuality that does this to you. It makes me wonder if someone hurt you when you were younger. I think the best way to overcome things like this is to seek help. Maybe a therapist you will feel comfortable talking openly with?
> 
> I know that's usually what everyone says...see someone. I also know this isn't for everyone. Whenever I am confused or struggling with something, I personally cope by trying to learn as much as I possibly can about it. If you can identify why it is you might have these emotional responses, maybe you could seek out information about it, to better inform yourself and equip you with what you might need to overcome it.
> 
> Best of luck to you.


Please stop.

I didnt ask for any of this. Therapy? Therapy is bullshit; and I know this from personal experience.

Never abused. I started having sex on a high note; high self esteem, I loved myself.

I never have sex because of peer pressue; only when I crave it.

My sex life has been 10 times better than most men and women.

Stop trying to make this deeper than it is.

No one hurt me sexually as a kid and Im a little disgusted that you bought it up, after reading that I have no issues related to sex.


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## infinitewisdom (Jan 23, 2011)

Do you know why you're crying? You sort of seem to blame god for your problems but failed to explain why you're crying. Did a religious upbringing cause you shame when you masturbate or is there other stuff going on?


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

strangestdude said:


> OK.
> 
> I still recommend somatic therapy and self help. I've always sensed some kind of 'pent up persona' in your posts (though I could be wrong).



Honey, I'm a life coach.

I've read hundreds of books on self coaching, and self help. 

The problem is there is no sign of the problem; you can only work through an issue if you can understand it.

And yes I am "pent up"; I'm not getting laid.


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## Diphenhydramine (Apr 9, 2010)

Are you trying to get laid or have you just given up?


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

infinitewisdom said:


> Do you know why you're crying? You sort of seem to blame god for your problems but failed to explain why you're crying. Did a religious upbringing cause you shame when you masturbate or is there other stuff going on?



You must be new here.

I'm an agnostic atheist.

The god thing was a joke.


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

TWN said:


> I didnt ask for any of this. Therapy? Therapy is bullshit; and I know this from personal experience.


Fair enough if you've already tried.

But there's a difference between talk therapy and somatic therapy, and there are different approaches in talk and somatic therapy. (Talk therapy didn't do much for me either).

There's no quick fix for emotional issues... Trust me.


TWN said:


> Honey, I'm a life coach.
> 
> I've read hundreds of books on self coaching, and self help.
> 
> The problem is there is no sign of the problem; you can only work through an issue if you can understand it.


Human beings are actually pretty bad at self awareness. That's why we need to read, or talk to other people to get clarity about our own emotional states. I doubt anyone here will be able to accurate analyze what the problem is, not on text via the internet. I think it will require verbal and non verbal communication.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

Diphenhydramine said:


> Are you trying to get laid or have you just given up?


Both, actually.

I think im confusing my subconcious mind.

One day day I decide that I dont need it, then the next I'm desperately trying to get laid.

This is what happens:


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

TWN said:


> I hate being female. Im so sick of this shit. This only happens to people with vaginas.


"whoa is me. I'm female" :dry:

seriously though, this happens to men too sometimes. having a Y chromosome doesn't mean we don't have feelings. to answer your question though, yes, I've cried many times while masturbating. being lonely is hard for everyone.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

strangestdude said:


> Fair enough if you've already tried.
> 
> But there's a difference between talk therapy and somatic therapy, and there are different approaches in talk and somatic therapy. (Talk therapy didn't do much for me either).
> 
> ...




Meh.

I'm not some soft asshole that needs therapy that doesnt work. Therapy is for reassurance; not for people that are self-aware.

I'm not bad at being aware of my emotions, I just dont let them out.


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## Diphenhydramine (Apr 9, 2010)

TWN said:


> Both, actually.
> 
> I think im confusing my subconcious mind.
> 
> ...


 if I were you I'd just keep trying until you satisfy your requirement.


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## infinitewisdom (Jan 23, 2011)

TWN said:


> You must be new here.
> 
> I'm an agnostic atheist.
> 
> The god thing was a joke.


I am not new. I joined a year before you and lurked even longer..lol I was just trying to understand. Are you seeking a sympathy fuck or something? Again, I am just asking the reason for your crying and purpose of your post.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> "whoa is me. I'm female" :dry:
> 
> seriously though, this happens to men too sometimes. having a Y chromosome doesn't mean we don't have feelings. to answer your question though, yes, I've cried many times while masturbating. being lonely is hard for everyone.



Ive never heard a male say this, and if you ask most doctors/therpists they say its almost always a female issue.


My gender identity is different from my sex, and Im frequently shocked by my body's reaction to things.

So yes, whoa is me. I am female.


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## Diphenhydramine (Apr 9, 2010)

Also, if you're self aware, you know presumably why you were crying.


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## kindaconfused (Apr 30, 2010)

Have someone tell you jokes while you masturbate?


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## Enfpleasantly (Mar 5, 2012)

@TWN, why did you post this if you don't want to hear what people will say? You're getting defensive over every response.


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

Masturbation should never be considered a replacement for sex of any kind, it's meant to hold you over not supplant actual sex. I suggest you go out and find some sex that's worth having.


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## changos (Nov 21, 2011)

Hi TWN, I'm a bit confused, please explain if you feel like doing it.

A. You can't locate the exact reason of your emotional expression? the source of crying?
B. "not getting any?" XZ emotions due to craving sex? but not getting any right now?

Or is it the following?


> One day day I decide that I dont need it, then the next I'm desperately trying to get laid.


Ups and downs? one day doesn't seem like a need but then you just need it? want it? super horny? in conclusion: dramatic ups and downs?

About "A", I have a friend (female) who can end up easily sleep after intense sexual sensations (and I mean like really fast, sleep). Nothing else triggers this (I opened a thread about it time ago).

About "B" the urge for sex can come from hormonal changes. Does this happen on certain dates? I mean over the month? perhaps kinda period cycle related?

About the last thing "ups and downs" I experienced indifference and intense urge for sex over certain period of time (I was younger and was confused on virginity... emotions and a feeling of frustration could take over) and the other time was due to very high training about XX (irrelevant) but I could have intense, really intense urges for sex. All of that was only for a short time.


So, any clues??? I read you had very good sex experiences, perhaps that's triggering it. Some people won't miss on the same level or intensity because never had such a wonderful time.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

Diphenhydramine said:


> Also, if you're self aware, you know presumably why you were crying.



No. Because the reaction happened without a conscious thought.

You can only be aware of your conscious thoughts, and feelings.

I had close to no thoughts while I was wanking, and the feeling? Ecstasy.

No reason why I should have been crying like that.


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## 2eng (Mar 5, 2012)

Maybe try telling us what you want to hear and we can regurgitate it for you.


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## changos (Nov 21, 2011)

I'm clueless, but perhaps you have too much tension accumulated and the chemical changes near orgasm are triggering intense emotional expressions. Sounds understandable, possible.

I know masturbation can happen due to an urge to try to solve or calm down other things (not sexual related) like tension, stress, etc.

Have you tried long walks or relaxing before masturbation?



I would agree on what's said above as "talk" not as "hey, let's talk, open up" I mean, talking as exploring what you feel and trying to locate the source.


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

TWN said:


> I'm not some soft asshole that needs therapy that doesnt work. Therapy is for reassurance; not for people that are self-aware.


I disagree. As social mammals we need face to face interaction with others for psychological health - I'm sure you are aware of research supporting this from reading self help literature.

And I'm sure you know that human beings are prone to all types of cognitive vulnerabilities like the Dunning–Kruger effect and confirmation bias. We need other people to give us feedback otherwise it's easy for us to become delusional about our internal and external reality.

Like I said there are different approaches to therapy. Have you tried somatic therapy?



> I'm not bad at being aware of my emotions, I just dont let them out.


That is contradicted by your threads asking for others insights into your psychological tendencies.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

changos said:


> Hi TWN, I'm a bit confused, please explain if you feel like doing it.
> 
> A. You can't locate the exact reason of your emotional expression? the source of crying?
> B. "not getting any?" XZ emotions due to craving sex? but not getting any right now?
> ...


See its not ups and downs; I am always horny.

But, some days I choose to not focus on it (To the best of my ability) to get work done and live a happier life.

If I dont get laid, my life shouldn't stop. But after a few days of working out, working from 3am to 9pm, and not eating, the horny feeling takes over my mind, and it wont leave.

So its always a need but some days I can bypass the need to work or be with friends/family.

I dont think my hormones have changed. Ive always been horny. Throughout any given month.

I think I do miss good sex; it doesnt help that my last sexual experience was...not the best.

I have some cuddling and oral scheduled for sunday, and im hoping this solves it until I get my nuva ring prescription.


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

2eng said:


> Maybe try telling us what you want to hear and we can regurgitate it for you.


I tried to be polite. But you've hit the nail on the head IMO.


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## Candu (Jul 29, 2010)

try talking to someone on the phone while masturbating, it might help distract your emotions and focuss your thoughts


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## Diphenhydramine (Apr 9, 2010)

TWN said:


> No. Because the reaction happened without a conscious thought.
> 
> You can only be aware of your conscious thoughts, and feelings.
> 
> ...


 Ok, well there's your problem -- you don't know why you're crying. Crying isn't an emotional response, it's physiological. It's not possible for us to help you because there isn't any clear reason _why_ people cry (beyond pain) -- it's really up to you to understand the way in which you connect sex to emotion (you will, in some sense; all disconnection of sex and emotion is really just a damaging of the connection, I feel -- as a person who doesn't connect the two.)


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

strangestdude said:


> I disagree. As social mammals need face to face interaction with others for psychological health - I'm sure you are aware of research supporting this from reading self help literature.
> 
> And I'm sure you know that human beings are prone to all types of cognitive vulnerabilities like the Dunning–Kruger effect and confirmation bias. We need other people to give us feedback otherwise it's easy for us to become delusional about our internal and external reality.
> 
> ...



I think you have misread everything ive written on here.

And somatic therapy, no. I dont want to fuck a psychotherapist, and I dont want them to touch me.

If I need a massage, I could call up a few past sexual partners that do that for a living.

I dont like being touched by anyone that is not an intimate partner; which I think is part of the problem also.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

Diphenhydramine said:


> Ok, well there's your problem -- you don't know why you're crying. Crying isn't an emotional response, it's physiological. It's not possible for us to help you because there isn't any clear reason _why_ people cry (beyond pain) -- it's really up to you to understand the way in which you connect sex to emotion (you will, in some sense; all disconnection of sex and emotion is really just a damaging of the connection, I feel -- as a person who doesn't connect the two.)



Well, thats what I said in my OP.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

2eng said:


> Maybe try telling us what you want to hear and we can regurgitate it for you.



Im so happy you and your pack of wild assholes have come to play.

Sadly you aren't needed.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

Enfpleasantly said:


> @_TWN_, why did you post this if you don't want to hear what people will say? You're getting defensive over every response.



I asked a simple question.

I did not ask for people to make wild assumptions about my situation, or claim that I was abused as a kid.

I asked if anyone knew how to fix it; a specific question. 

Thats different form saying "Hey, Im in a shitty place right now, I need advice from anyone"


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## Diphenhydramine (Apr 9, 2010)

TWN said:


> Well, thats what I said in my OP.


 Right, but the rest of it was my response -- "does anyone know how to fix this?"

Well, I'm sure there is at least one person out there who started crying when they were jacking off and then found out why. But I bet it wasn't from this method and I bet you're not going to find them here. Think about -

WHICH emotions do you associate with crying?

WHICH emotions do you associate with sex?

It isn't important if you don't personally connect them -- we're thinking about associations and not connections.

WHY are you crying?

When you know all those things you will be in a better position to know how to solve your problem. That is "how to fix it" or, at the very least, it's "how to begin fixing it."


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## changos (Nov 21, 2011)

TWN said:


> See its not ups and downs; I am always horny.
> 
> But, some days I choose to not focus on it (To the best of my ability) to get work done and live a happier life.
> 
> ...


It's clearer now. You might have a higher sex drive (more than what seems at first sight). I had one GF who had extremely high sex drive and we had sex constantly, as constantly. But there were days when it wasn't possible and she could get really sensitive or angry. It wasn't like that on low frequency but after a period of constant sex it was easy for her to feel that way, she had some thyroid problems already on medication and I researched about it... nothing conclusive that I remember.

She (and another exGF) had emotional outbursts due to some contraceptives (injections) so another brand was selected. In our case it was evident on certain days of the month (cycle related) and it took me and my calendar to prove them as it didn't seem obvious at first.

Well I'm out of ideas...  but what you said, missing good sex seems understandable to me, more if it was a long period having it (stable) and also if your last experience wasn't good. Sorry not being of much help.

Don't laugh but I'm going out with a friend right now and if she doesn't eat well... she could get like a wild animal while hungry (it happens to me sometimes). So by now I would approach it as anything else that I can't understand: sleep well, walk, work out a bit, eat healthy... who knows... too much stress perhaps.

Hope things get better


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## Enfpleasantly (Mar 5, 2012)

TWN said:


> I asked a simple question.
> 
> I did not ask for people to make wild assumptions about my situation, or claim that I was abused as a kid.
> 
> ...



Try this...try calming down and rereading my post. I said "it makes me wonder if...". It made me wonder; I didn't claim you were abused, so your defensiveness over it is not necessary.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

Diphenhydramine said:


> Right, but the rest of it was my response -- "does anyone know how to fix this?"
> 
> Well, I'm sure there is at least one person out there who started crying when they were jacking off and then found out why. But I bet it wasn't from this method and I bet you're not going to find them here. Think about -
> 
> ...


 I cry when Im angry, and Im mute when Im sad.


I suppose it would make sense that I cried since I am angry, but, I felt no anger when I was in the middle of the deed.

I associate happiness with sex. No sex, no happiness.

Maybe that was it all along.

Thanks.


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## Diphenhydramine (Apr 9, 2010)

TWN said:


> I cry when Im angry, and Im mute when Im sad.
> 
> 
> I suppose it would make sense that I cried since I am angry, but, I felt no anger when I was in the middle of the deed.
> ...


 It sounds like you are just extremely frustrated, coupled with an abnormally high libido (which you already know: maybe it's simpler than you think.) I don't know though -- that's as far as my input goes.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

changos said:


> It's clearer now. You might have a higher sex drive (more than what seems at first sight). I had one GF who had extremely high sex drive and we had sex constantly, as constantly. But there were days when it wasn't possible and she could get really sensitive or angry. It wasn't like that on low frequency but after a period of constant sex it was easy for her to feel that way, she had some thyroid problems already on medication and I researched about it... nothing conclusive that I remember.
> 
> She (and another exGF) had emotional outbursts due to some contraceptives (injections) so another brand was selected. In our case it was evident on certain days of the month (cycle related) and it took me and my calendar to prove them as it didn't seem obvious at first.
> 
> ...




Interesting. See ive been of off birth control for awhile, because it lowers my sex drive. But I generally dont have sex unless Im protected from getting pregnant. (Babies are the devil)

I do get angry when I have no sex; it is really a need for me.


Sex has never been stable for me, and I fear that the only way I can get stable sex is to commit to some asshole with a giant dick.


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

TWN said:


> Sex has never been stable for me, and I fear that the only way I can get stable sex is to commit to some asshole with a giant dick.


After reading the way you've responded to people, and the (obvious) emotional repression that you have, I'm shocked that you are a life coach.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

strangestdude said:


> After reading the way you've responded to people, and the (obvious) emotional repression that you have, I'm shocked that you are a life coach.



Yeah, most sensitive people feel the same way.

Everyone has their specialty; mine isnt emotional problems. TO be honest, most life coaches dont work with repressed emotions; we leave that to the therapists that have ongoing migraines due to their fucked up "patients"


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## Surreal Snake (Nov 17, 2009)




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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

TWN said:


> Ive never heard a male say this, and if you ask most doctors/therpists they say its almost always a female issue.
> My gender identity is different from my sex, and Im frequently shocked by my body's reaction to things.
> *So yes, whoa is me. I am female.*


if this is the worst of your woes, you really don't need any more sympathy than anyone else.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> if this is the worst of your woes, you really don't need any more sympathy than anyone else.



What the hell?


I was never saying I need MORE sympathy.


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## changos (Nov 21, 2011)

I researched A LOT when we decided to use contraceptives back in the days (years ago... we are not together anymore) and I found there are some side effects (possible, not always happen and not to everyone) some get nausea, headaches and some lose their sex drive. Also, some get their period totally upside down (bleeding) It depends on the brands and your body compatibility, it's always good to check on that (just saying, not that you don't do it).

It's fine to be aware of what one wants and wants to avoid (children). For the two experiences I told you (in my own flesh) I understand the craving, don't know how much to compare (impossible) but I get it. It could shake anyone!!!

Sex drive usually changes over age depending how young/old you are.

I invite you to consider researching a bit, it could be something else. Having sex releases good chemicals for relaxing your body and mind, perhaps you are having or experiencing too much stress and... then it might not be the sex what you really miss -right now- but the effect of it. It could have been a great way or relaxing you and keeping you calm. Besides (remember, we are just talking... ok?) there are some people who due to past experiences feel sex as a direct expression of love or validation (it could be that way but not always) so when they don't have it they need it for many other reasons.

About your last line... be careful. The ex with the highest sex drive had trouble with it. We could work it out back then but at the end 

Coaching... well you have to consider this. That profession fits others alike in the sense of dealing with pressure, other people's life and repressing a lot inside of you. As a couch you can't tell someone "hey you idiot stop complaining and get your ass to work" we all know that... so perhaps you need more detox than usual (have psychologist friends so I know... people who work in this way with other people usually get fed up, intoxicated). I don't know how extroverted you are, but some introverted ones are good for coaching but the constant exposure and social work wears them out.

I hope you get some good... you know. Or.... (as I posted on some other threads) you'll have to learn to be more open and not needing so special connection to enjoy it.


My guess is you deal with a lot... from other people and you need time for your own. Relax


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## changos (Nov 21, 2011)

I left and unfinished line sorry...

"The ex with the highest sex drive had trouble with it. We could work it out back then *but at the end*". At the end we remained as friends and she made some questionable choices. Not saying this will happen to you or that you are the same, no, but her need was too strong and being single was of no help. Besides she was also trying to recreate what she had with... you know who... it turned out pretty bad. Just sharing, not saying this is you. I just say that what we enjoy shouldn't be above us. Good luck


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## Out0fAmmo (Nov 30, 2010)

This whole thread seems like it's for trolling and attention-grabbing. That's the only explanation I can see for such a disconnect between the states of mind exhibited by the OP:

_"Does anyone know how to fix this?"_

Leads to...
_
"I didnt ask for any of this"
_

And: 

_"I Started Crying While Masturbating... I literally took my toy and threw it across the room in rage."_

is followed by:

_"I dont have sexual emotional issues."_

I could go on, but I think those examples are enough. @TWN, if you're being truthful about the things you've felt and thought, you need to swallow your pride and seek help from a mental health professional. Otherwise, take it to spam world.


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

This is not really a problem with just women. Several male friends of mine have admitted to crying while masturbating. I think it has something to do with the hormones making you feel relaxed enough to get out those emotions you were so carefully holding back.

I cried once or twice while masturbating, and yeah I was single at the time. You try to think of something sexy, end up thinking of something more romantic, and then it's like, "OH GOD, WHY DOES NOBODY LOVE ME?" It's natural. Just keep try to keep your thoughts positive, maybe work on some reinforcing self-talk, and try catching some dates.


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## changos (Nov 21, 2011)

devoid said:


> This is not really a problem with just women. Several male friends of mine have admitted to crying while masturbating. I think it has something to do with the hormones making you feel relaxed enough to get out those emotions you were so carefully holding back.
> 
> I cried once or twice while masturbating, and yeah I was single at the time. You try to think of something sexy, end up thinking of something more romantic, and then it's like, "OH GOD, WHY DOES NOBODY LOVE ME?" It's natural. Just keep try to keep your thoughts positive, maybe work on some reinforcing self-talk, and try catching some dates.


Interesting, you made me remembering something...

Actually a brain scan confirmed that love and hate use the same areas
And.... we do ugly faces when we reach the orgasm because the pain areas are stimulated when having so much pleasure.

Perhaps there is a loose wire making short circuit :wink:


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

Out0fAmmo said:


> This whole thread seems like it's for trolling and attention-grabbing. That's the only explanation I can see for such a disconnect between the states of mind exhibited by the OP:
> 
> 
> "Does anyone know how to fix this?"
> ...


You know what, moderators. Feel free to close this thread the fuck down. 

I think it is hilariously funny that when someone with an actual pressing issue comes to the relationship section, they get called a troll.

But the people making "Do ALL men Like BIG TITS" threads get a pat on the back.

Im so done with this section right now, it hurts.

Can no one make a thread here without people making assumptions about their childhood lives, and telling them to go see doctors for no reason?

Because if anyone needs a therapist, its the women that make "do men like __ women?" threads; the're the ones with self esteem issues.

Or maybe most of you idiots that chose to make assumptions just dont like me; I know for a fact there's an entire pack of idiot wolves on here that despise me, for no reason.


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

changos said:


> Interesting, you made me remembering something...
> 
> Actually a brain scan confirmed that love and hate use the same areas
> And.... we do ugly faces when we reach the orgasm because the pain areas are stimulated when having so much pleasure.
> ...


Indeed they are close to each other. I don't think there's anything physically wrong about it though... it's just an expression of emotion, albeit a little weirdly timed, but it is directly related to what she was thinking about.


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

Out0fAmmo said:


> This whole thread seems like it's for trolling and attention-grabbing. That's the only explanation I can see for such a disconnect between the states of mind exhibited by the OP:
> 
> _"Does anyone know how to fix this?"_
> 
> ...


Post of the thread.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

changos said:


> I researched A LOT when we decided to use contraceptives back in the days (years ago... we are not together anymore) and I found there are some side effects (possible, not always happen and not to everyone) some get nausea, headaches and some lose their sex drive. Also, some get their period totally upside down (bleeding) It depends on the brands and your body compatibility, it's always good to check on that (just saying, not that you don't do it).
> 
> It's fine to be aware of what one wants and wants to avoid (children). For the two experiences I told you (in my own flesh) I understand the craving, don't know how much to compare (impossible) but I get it. It could shake anyone!!!
> 
> ...



I appreciate the thought, but I am very introverted. I dont need special connections, and I dont need more alone time; I'm sick of being alone.

Alone time is started to tear me apart, and make me angry.


----------



## changos (Nov 21, 2011)

TWN said:


> I appreciate the thought, but I am very introverted. I dont need special connections, and I dont need more alone time; I'm sick of being alone.
> 
> Alone time is started to tear me apart, and make me angry.


Fool around!! well just a suggestion. I'm introverted as well and enjoy alone time but there are times when we don't need it, or we actually need some special contact, not just any. I have been a confident (many people confess things to me) and sometimes it's intoxicating, then it's time to avoid hearing from other people and focus on what you want.

Not that this is the exact solution but after some research I found that it actually worked for me what I usually avoid: small talk, nonsense, no objectives and fooling around, in short... using other areas of the brain. I don't usually like it so I look for alternatives... fixing old stuff actually feels great. Sometimes too much alone time can make us see things bigger than they are, some things go out of proportion. What about some vacations? well those things usually work for me.

I don't know your personal interests or way of life but perhaps a FWB could help. It's not for everyone and not everyone likes the idea (I didn't in the past but lately changed my mind). There are dating sites that are not the answer but could help to fool around, or at least getting to know new people.

PS. Coaching... as similar professions allow people being what they are at the fullest while the coach can't, must focus on the person, it's about the person. I believe that could be a source of stress in this sense that needs compensation.


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## Aquarian (Jun 17, 2012)

TWN said:


> I appreciate the thought, but I am very introverted. I dont need special connections, and I dont need more alone time; I'm sick of being alone.
> 
> Alone time is started to tear me apart, and make me angry.





TWN said:


> I cry when Im angry, and Im mute when Im sad.


 @TWN, Your situation seems pretty simple to me. How i understand it is: You deeply desire sex. You aren't getting sex right now. At some basic level in me, I can understand why that would yield crying during masturbation, especially since you cry when you're angry.

I'm posting here mostly to say - I have a very high sex drive myself. For me, sexual flow (actually for me it's sexual-spiritual flow, but I don't know that it matters for the purpose of this comment) .. anyway, for me sexual flow is extremely important. When it's not an ongoing part of my life, something feels wrong and it bothers me even when I try not to pay too much attention to it.

Masturbation doesn't allow for the kind of interaction and experience that sex with someone else does. It's like, I don't know, it's like ... it can be a reminder of what isn't happening even as there's an attempt to deal with the lack of that (or at least that's something occurring to me as I write.)

I guess I just feel like - all these replies about emotional issues etc seem to miss the point that for some of us, sexual connection is actually a real desire and need on its own. It's real stuff and it's not about emotional issues, it's about being someone for whom sexual connection is very important.

Apologies if I'm missing the point as well.


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## redballoon (Oct 19, 2011)

Try working out.


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## yet another intj (Feb 10, 2013)

No need to feel ashamed or hate yourself. You just experienced an unusual emotional reaction and it was your personal space. Males masturbate after crying for relief, females masturbate and cry then blame themselves. Having a hypothalamus is tricky business.


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## Strife (Aug 25, 2010)

...


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## milti (Feb 8, 2012)

Maybe you're just lonely, @_TWN_.

Loneliness + lack of sex --> frustration --> anger --> tears

I cry for lots of reasons, and anger is one of them too. I can imagine myself easily bursting into tears over a mixture of low self-worth, loneliness, wanting someone to sleep with me and simultaneously recoiling at the physical touch of anyone I don't want to have touch me. (This is just me, though, I'm not saying you should have any of these issues).

Maybe you can try writing in a diary about this outburst. Maybe writing it out will help sort out your thoughts on sex and intimacy and what you associate with each.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

Aquarian said:


> @_TWN_, Your situation seems pretty simple to me. How i understand it is: You deeply desire sex. You aren't getting sex right now. At some basic level in me, I can understand why that would yield crying during masturbation, especially since you cry when you're angry.
> 
> I'm posting here mostly to say - I have a very high sex drive myself. For me, sexual flow (actually for me it's sexual-spiritual flow, but I don't know that it matters for the purpose of this comment) .. anyway, for me sexual flow is extremely important. When it's not an ongoing part of my life, something feels wrong and it bothers me even when I try not to pay too much attention to it.
> 
> ...


You got the point, anmd explained it in detail.

Thank you ^_^

So basically, I need some sex.

And I may be getting some soon. But its still been a little over a year.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

yet another intj said:


> No need to feel ashamed or hate yourself. You just experienced an unusual emotional reaction and it was your personal space. Males masturbate after crying for relief, females masturbate and cry then blame themselves. Having a hypothalamus is tricky business.



I think you're looking too deep into this, because I never said I hate myself, or blame myself for anything.

My body went one way, and mind was going another; and that prevented me from having an orgasm.

I'm sure that would be annoying to males, and females.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

redballoon said:


> Try working out.



You think I wake up so early on a Friday just to lay around?

I just got back from a workout.

It only makes me more horny.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

@TWN

I don't know what to say exactly, but I want to lend my support. I hope this is a temporary situation (and I hope your toy isn't damaged).


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## redballoon (Oct 19, 2011)

TWN said:


> You think I wake up so early on a Friday just to lay around?
> 
> I just got back from a workout.
> 
> It only makes me more horny.


I don't think you're going hard enough to be honest. When you're so tired your central nervous system wants to fall apart, you'll be too exhausted to be horny. I do sprints to get that satisfaction.

BTW
Your tone of speaking is what annoys people you know. I mean, its obvious that's why you have a 'pack of wolves' after you. Its not really that crazy of an idea. I find myself agreeing with your substance often, but you present yourself in a way that's so harshly toxic, its easy to just overlook your argument. No use getting mad at it. It is what it is.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

redballoon said:


> I don't think you're going hard enough to be honest. When you're so tired your central nervous system wants to fall apart, you'll be too exhausted to be horny. I do sprints to get that satisfaction.
> 
> BTW
> Your tone of speaking is what annoys people you know. I mean, its obvious that's why you have a 'pack of wolves' after you. Its not really that crazy of an idea. I find myself agreeing with your substance often, but you present yourself in a way that's so harshly toxic, its easy to just overlook your argument. No use getting mad at it. It is what it is.



So, the substance isnt toxic, but the way it is presented is? 

If a person is dumb enough to say "I agree with this person, but Im going to IGNORE everything they say because they wont tailor their tone to MY preferences" I dont want them to acknowledge my argument.

I dont want to be around them.

If I'm not insulting anyone, Im not sure why people feel that I should cater to their tastes in speech.

Some people dont like cursing; but that will never stop me from saying FUCK.

And also, you cannot really hear my tone.

This is the internet, after all.


Also:

I go hard, but that tired feeling goes away after a few hours. I end up horny, once again.


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## kudi (Sep 27, 2011)

Hmm.. its easy to fix actions not so much with your reactions in which case it could be purely a reflective response or an emotional one. It may be worth it to think about recent changes that have occurred in your life before the crying started as it maybe the source. What could be causing you to cry maybe related to excess stress (feeling pressure, uncertainty, loss of control, etc.), medicine/drugs, feelings of being overwhelmed (which come from both positive and negative emotions). Crying is usually the bodies way of releasing excess emotion, so it shouldn't always be seen as a negative thing or mean there is anything necessarily wrong with you. If you are a tightly wound individual it maybe because sex forces you to relax that your body can bypass your normally tight control and relieve itself through crying. 

Like its been mentioned before, we really can't diagnose the source of the problem since we don't know you, your history, personality or medical history. Only thing we can really provide are insights based on our own assumptions from our life experiences in order to help you map out possibilities, but nailing down the exact reason is still largely your task.


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## redballoon (Oct 19, 2011)

TWN said:


> So, the substance isnt toxic, but the way it is presented is?
> 
> If a person is dumb enough to say "I agree with this person, but Im going to IGNORE everything they say because they wont tailor their tone to MY preferences" I dont want them to acknowledge my argument.
> 
> ...


That only addresses part of it. It is simply bad form to yell at someone who posited a plausible narrative. I speak of the first page of this thread. You did not in any explicit way state you have no abuse issues. You're missing basic human psychology. People don't want to feel attacked and ill at ease. You make them feel that way. They don't even need to exert the mental energy to look at your argument at this point. They are simply assessing your overall attitude, 'do I want to even engage with such a harsh person?' So you got your wish.

Really, it costs you nothing to be polite. And it gets you a lot.

Yeah, you're just going to have to go get fucked. You just keep asserting you wind up horny, but so does EVERYBODY ELSE. I don't see what talking about it online is doing for you at this point.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

redballoon said:


> That only addresses part of it. It is simply bad form to yell at someone who posited a plausible narrative. I speak of the first page of this thread. You did not in any explicit way state you have no abuse issues. You're missing basic human psychology. People don't want to feel attacked and ill at ease. You make them feel that way. They don't even need to exert the mental energy to look at your argument at this point. They are simply assessing your overall attitude, 'do I want to even engage with such a harsh person?' So you got your wish.
> 
> Really, it costs you nothing to be polite. And it gets you a lot.
> 
> Yeah, you're just going to have to go get fucked. You just keep asserting you wind up horny, but so does EVERYBODY ELSE. I don't see what talking about it online is doing for you at this point.



So making assumptions about my childhood is polite?

Interesting.

I would have given a different reaction if, I dont know, they would have asked me "Have you ever been to therapy ", or "Did you have childhood sexual issues growing up?", or "What made this go away when you were younger?" BEFORE making an ill informed recommendation.

Forcing "go to therapy" down my throat isnt polite; it's offensive, and idiotic considering I dont have any childhood issues that would warrant therapy.


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## redballoon (Oct 19, 2011)

TWN said:


> So making assumptions about my childhood is polite?
> 
> Interesting.
> 
> ...


Hello. They are positing a narrative, which is more or less another way of asking a question. Further, they are actually taking time to try and look at your situation with more than just a superficial reading. They are waiting to see if you agree with their assessment or not. Instead, you get overly defensive, raving about people making assumptions about you. I don't think anyone said, oh, you clearly are x and you clearly should do y. That would be an assumption. I don't think your reasoning is sound.

Force it down your throat? Are you kidding me?
Besides, wouldn't you enjoy that har har har?

Couldn't resist.

Anyway, the point is that just because you feel others were not considerate to you doesn't mean you should be even less considerate to them. Completely counterproductive. You could have just said, 'that's not my issue, that's not helping.' OR you could have said nothing to them. You create your own pack of wolves by being a MEANIE.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

redballoon said:


> Hello. They are positing a narrative, which is more or less another way of asking a question. Further, they are actually taking time to try and look at your situation with more than just a superficial reading. They are waiting to see if you agree with their assessment or not. Instead, you get overly defensive, raving about people making assumptions about you. I don't think anyone said, oh, you clearly are x and you clearly should do y. That would be an assumption. I don't think your reasoning is sound.
> 
> 
> Force it down your throat? Are you kidding me?
> ...





I said that, several times.


But what did they do? They decided to ignore the first time I said "Thats not my issues; my childhood wasnt fucked up", and once again force different types of therapy, down my throat.


So you're telling me that it's OK for them to be inconsiderate, but it is not OK for me to RESPOND to their ignorance with the same?


Hmm. That is a logical inconsistency. 


I wish people would really just save their breathe, and say "I dont fucking like you." instead of playing it off as "Trying to help".


Because the people that were thoughtful (And even one that wasnt, but still gave good advice) got thanks in return.



@milti

@Aquarian

@changos
@android654
@devoid


All approached me without making broad assumptions, and I either thanked them for their contribution or replied with more information explaining my situation.


I think you are looking at the people that threw "go to therapy" at my head, instead of people like changos that took the time to write thoughtful responses.

If you are kind, and thoughtful I will always appreciate what you have to give.

But if you are "nice" and indirectly inconsiderate...I won't respond in the same manner, and you shouldn't expect me to.


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## redballoon (Oct 19, 2011)

TWN said:


> I said that, several times.
> 
> 
> But what did they do? They decided to ignore the first time I said "Thats not my issues; my childhood wasnt fucked up", and once again force different types of therapy, down my throat.
> ...


Of course I'm looking at the people you didn't like. You use the word 'them' when it seems you've generalized an emotion at a group of people who gave you a response you didn't really resonate with. Hence you lashed out at least one person who really didn't deserve it, probably more in the past, since you have a 'wolf pack.' Eye for an eye isn't the best strategy much of the time.
I can understand that value wasn't demonstrated. But you destroyed the relation. That's why you have a wolf pack. You are assuming these people have bad intentions at the end of the day, or if you aren't assuming that, you are just being illogical.


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## DeductiveReasoner (Feb 25, 2011)

Dude, these people are trying to help. Quit attacking them. They probably don't read every single one of your posts and make note of your religious (or lack of religious) preferences. Chill.

That being said, I am a woman. I have been sexually frustrated, and I've never cried during masturbation. Like, ever. Well, I have made sobbing noises as a result of an intense orgasm, but I'm not really sure that counts. 

I think your best bet is to solve any emotional issues you may have. Or at least find a release. Sexual exploration is supposed to chill one out, not disturb. unless you're into some RREAALLY kinky shit, but that's another topic.


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

l do get a little sad when l masturbate sometimes. 

Meh. lt does the job but l am truly a sexual person in that l NEED to experience it with someone else or it isn't real sex for me. The energy isn't there.

Binding forces, bodies rubbing together, dripping, dirty sexual fucking energy.


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

OMG WTF BRO said:


> Binding forces, bodies rubbing together, dripping, dirty sexual fucking energy.


Your neocortex began to shut down as you thought about sex huh?

God that was intense.


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## Enfpleasantly (Mar 5, 2012)

@_TWN_, you seem to keep referencing my post, so I would like to once again clarify that I didn't make an assumption about your childhood; I said "it makes me wonder if someone hurt you when you were younger". This would apply to any form of physical or emotional assault in your past, not just sexual incest as a child. Wondering or pondering a possibility out of many is the way some people think. With Ne as your auxiliary function, one would surely think you could see how a person could come to that thought, even if it was fleeting; instead, you've blown it completely out of proportion and exaggerated terribly. 

By the way, I'd like to once again ask you to re-read my original post because I never crammed therapy down your throat or said "go to therapy". I actually suggested talking to someone/therapy and if you weren't comfortable with that, I made another suggestion about researching information to find the cause in order to overcome it. 

And you don't have a wolf pack, you just went off the chain being defensive for no reason and people responded.

Here's my original response, please give it another read:



Enfpleasantly said:


> I'm sorry @_TWN_...it seems to me maybe you have something going on related to sexuality that does this to you. It makes me wonder if someone hurt you when you were younger. I think the best way to overcome things like this is to seek help. Maybe a therapist you will feel comfortable talking openly with?
> 
> 
> I know that's usually what everyone says...see someone. I also know this isn't for everyone. Whenever I am confused or struggling with something, I personally cope by trying to learn as much as I possibly can about it. If you can identify why it is you might have these emotional responses, maybe you could seek out information about it, to better inform yourself and equip you with what you might need to overcome it.
> ...


Just to be clear:

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/assumption
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Wondering?s=t


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

Enfpleasantly said:


> @_TWN_, you seem to keep referencing my post, so I would like to once again clarify that I didn't make an assumption about your childhood; I said "it makes me wonder if someone hurt you when you were younger". This would apply to any form of physical or emotional assault in your past, not just sexual incest as a child. Wondering or pondering a possibility out of many is the way some people think. With Ne as your auxiliary function, one would surely think you could see how a person could come to that thought, even if it was fleeting; instead, you've blown it completely out of proportion and exaggerated terribly.
> 
> By the way, I'd like to once again ask you to re-read my original post because I never crammed therapy down your throat or said "go to therapy". I actually suggested talking to someone/therapy and if you weren't comfortable with that, I made another suggestion about researching information to find the cause in order to overcome it.
> 
> ...


Thank you for the clarification, but if it means anything I wasn't really directing my last post toward you. 

You did make the initial comment about my childhood, but it was the others that that chose to piggyback off of this idea that I must have some deep dark issues, possibly stemming from my childhood, that are now coming out when I masturbate, that rubbed me the wrong way.

There were several people that, literally, just said "go to therapy" without any real explanation.

The aggression that you may have felt after my first reply to you came from you ignoring the fact that I said " I dont have sexual emotional issues.", but upon further inspection I saw that you posted your reply only a few minutes after I posted mine; So the last comment wasnt directed toward you because I now know that you probably didn't see my post (made at 12:01), when you were writing yours (Made at 12:03).

So, yeah. That's that.

No bad feelings here.


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## Up and Away (Mar 5, 2011)

First of all. 

Awesome epic thread. I love it.

Secondly, fuck the first 8 pages of people on here. (Narcissistic tendencies of wanting to be on the first page lol) jk jk haha..

Thirdly, it's okay. You just want more intimacy and more love in your life. At one point in your life you had it, which is why it's so hard to not have it now. And you see everything you have to do to get it, and it almost seems hopeless. Ur almost at that moment, at the bottom, letting your soul pour out.

It's healthy what you did, and this post was very healthy for you. I commend it, highly. 

Good job.


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## Enfpleasantly (Mar 5, 2012)

TWN said:


> Thank you for the clarification, but if it means anything I wasn't really directing my last post toward you.
> 
> You did make the initial comment about my childhood, but it was the others that that chose to piggyback off of this idea that I must have some deep dark issues, possibly stemming from my childhood, that are now coming out when I masturbate, that rubbed me the wrong way.
> 
> ...


Thank you, I appreciate your observations. No ill feelings here either. 

I hope you find someone you can get it on with soon!


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## SuburbanLurker (Sep 26, 2010)

I've heard of this before. I believe you have a demon egg inside you that's begging to be born. It doesn't want masturbation; it wants the D. But don't give in to the temptation or there may be dire consequences. There's more to life than sinful premarital sex for cheap pleasure!

I'd give you a serious response but I fear for my eyeballs.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

Enfpleasantly said:


> Thank you, I appreciate your observations. No ill feelings here either.
> 
> I hope you find someone you can get it on with soon!


I actually have some sex scheduled for Sunday!

Soon is just 35 or so hours away. ^_^


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## Orion (Jan 25, 2011)

TWN said:


> I actually have some sex scheduled for Sunday!
> 
> Soon is just 35 or so hours away. ^_^


Are you worried about crying then?


----------



## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

Orion said:


> Are you worried about crying then?



Not really. I dont think ive ever cried during sex, and I wanked off today (and came) and didn't cry.

Even if I do, it's not like Im going to stop. Heh


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## La Li Lu Le Lo (Aug 15, 2011)

TWN said:


> I hate being female. Im so sick of this shit. This only happens to people with vaginas.
> 
> This shit hasn't happened to me since I was 12 fucking years old.
> 
> ...


Have you ever tried to stop masturbating? You might be feeling this way because you have a deep desire for authentic love and are indulging in a self-interested activity that can never bring you that love. I think deep down inside you know that. From your words, it sounds to me that you are angry at God rather than actually disbelieving in Him, or rather, trying to disbelieve in Him.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

La Li Lu Le Lo said:


> Have you ever tried to stop masturbating? You might be feeling this way because you have a deep desire for authentic love and are indulging in a self-interested activity that can never bring you that love. I think deep down inside you know that. From your words, it sounds to me that you are angry at God rather than actually disbelieving in Him, or rather, trying to disbelieve in Him.


I agree with you; I need to get laid. I'm getting laid soon; he's a pretty nice guy, too.

And I said this before, but the god thing was a joke. Every time I mention god, it is a joke.

I've been an atheist since I was 14. lol


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## Up and Away (Mar 5, 2011)

Hey you ignored me


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## La Li Lu Le Lo (Aug 15, 2011)

TWN said:


> I agree with you; I need to get laid. I'm getting laid soon; he's a pretty nice guy, too.
> 
> And I said this before, but the god thing was a joke. Every time I mention god, it is a joke.
> 
> I've been an atheist since I was 14. lol


Do you love him? Are you willing to pursue a serious relationship with him? Are you willing to give yourself totally to him? How about him, does he feel that way about you? Simply seeking sex for it's own sake will not make you feel better. Not in the long run.


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## Aquarian (Jun 17, 2012)

La Li Lu Le Lo said:


> Do you love him? Are you willing to pursue a serious relationship with him? Are you willing to give yourself totally to him? How about him, does he feel that way about you? *Simply seeking sex for it's own sake will not make you feel better. Not in the long run*.


That may not be true for everyone - it's good to avoid sweeping generalizations, IMO, because such generalizations erase lived realities and diversity. There are a diversity of sexual desires/needs among humans.


----------



## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

La Li Lu Le Lo said:


> Do you love him? Are you willing to pursue a serious relationship with him? Are you willing to give yourself totally to him? How about him, does he feel that way about you? Simply seeking sex for it's own sake will not make you feel better. Not in the long run.


No.

I've been in serious relationships, and I felt trapped, sexually and emotionally.

Monogamy isnt for me.

A long-term commitment isnt for me either, at this moment.

I think you, just as most americans, have fallen in love with the notion that you can only be happy in a commitment, monogamous relationship where you have to give yourself, in full, to another person.

Fuck that; i'd prefer it if the only person I give myself to..is me. I made a commitment to myself.

Love is nice, but I've already made it clear in another thread I started that my definition of love isn't in line with most people's views of love, and relationships.

Love is nice, but self love has a much longer shelf life.


Some people feel odd if they dont work out, or eat right; I feel weird when I dont have a real physical connection with another human being. That is one of my needs, and I always forget to make sure that need is met; I need to take better care of my sexual life; I need to make sure I dont go into dry spells, just as I make sure to workout 4-5 times a week.

For a moment (About 425 days) I didnt see my sexual health as important as my physical health...now I do.


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## La Li Lu Le Lo (Aug 15, 2011)

Aquarian said:


> That may not be true for everyone - it's good to avoid sweeping generalizations, IMO, because such generalizations erase lived realities and diversity. There are a diversity of sexual desires/needs among humans.


It is widely know that pleasure, money, power, etc. will never be able to make someone truly happy (_especially_ when those things are sought for their own sake); you will always be seeking more. Only in the emptying out of the ego in love will you find satisfaction.


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## Somniorum (Oct 7, 2010)

... so, perhaps I just missed it, and forgive me as this thread has basically played out, but... did *nobody* consider that she started crying because she was happy? 

People cry because of happiness all the time. Typcially, *strong* happiness - like, say, feelings of *ecstasy*. 



TWN said:


> I had close to no thoughts while I was wanking, and the feeling? Ecstasy.


Now, TWN might not have history of ecstasy crying, but you don't always need to have a history for it to happen. Sometimes things just happen.

Honestly, to me, from everything you've described, it just sounds like you had a kind of sensory overload, tons of happiness, and it made you cry. 

Doesn't seem that weird to me.


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## Aquarian (Jun 17, 2012)

*heading for a tangent at about 35 miles an hour (with apologies to the OP)*



La Li Lu Le Lo said:


> It is widely know that pleasure, money, power, etc. will never be able to make someone truly happy (_especially_ when those things are sought for their own sake); you will always be seeking more. Only in the emptying out of the ego in love will you find satisfaction.


Ah, a proselytizer! I do understand that those who are in that missionary type space tend to be more than a little arrogant about knowing the truth for all humanity. So hey, @La Li Lu Le Lo, could you please describe your own personal embodied/lived experience with sexual-spiritual energy and how the intersection of the sexual and the spiritual functions for you in your life. I don't mean theory. I mean your _actual lived experience_.


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## Aquarian (Jun 17, 2012)

TWN said:


> Some people feel odd if they dont work out, or eat right; I feel weird when I dont have a real physical connection with another human being. That is one of my needs, and I always forget to make sure that need is met; I need to take better care of my sexual life; I need to make sure I dont go into dry spells, just as I make sure to workout 4-5 times a week.
> 
> For a moment (About 425 days) I didnt see my sexual health as important as my physical health...now I do.


I for one am glad you're taking your sexual health seriously now.

425 days is a LONG time!


----------



## Just_a_Poet (Jan 31, 2013)

TWN said:


> I hate being female. Im so sick of this shit. This only happens to people with vaginas.
> 
> This shit hasn't happened to me since I was 12 fucking years old.
> 
> ...


I'm a bit late in this thread, and a lot of reasonable (and unreasonable) things have already been said. One thing that came to my mind is that you can hear about similar experiences if you talk to people who have extensively taken ecstasy. The drug induced high for some forms of that drug is very close to a regular orgasm. And it does happen that the drug's effect takes a side road just before it is supposed to reach that high and the user ends up all sad and crying. There are different theories about the true reasons why this happens, but general consensus among those who have experienced it is that factors like a high stress level, exhaustion or illness (even just a beginning cold) are usually involved. The stress even needs not be negative stress to trigger that reaction. So I wouldn't worry too much unless it repeats itself.


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## nujabes (May 18, 2012)

kindaconfused said:


> Have someone tell you jokes while you masturbate?


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## Orion (Jan 25, 2011)

Aquarian said:


> Ah, a proselytizer! I do understand that those who are in that missionary type space tend to be more than a little arrogant about knowing the truth for all humanity. So hey, La Li Lu Le Lo, could you please describe your own personal embodied/lived experience with sexual-spiritual energy and how the intersection of the sexual and the spiritual functions for you in your life. I don't mean theory. I mean your _actual lived experience_.


You had me at proselytizer...


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

Aquarian said:


> Ah, a proselytizer! I do understand that those who are in that missionary type space tend to be more than a little arrogant about knowing the truth for all humanity. So hey, @_La Li Lu Le Lo_, could you please describe your own personal embodied/lived experience with sexual-spiritual energy and how the intersection of the sexual and the spiritual functions for you in your life. I don't mean theory. I mean your _actual lived experience_.


LMFAO! That was brutal.


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

I've seriously done this.

Not only this--but crying during sex.

I think for me, there is this realization that I'm masturbating to make myself feel better, but that I am completely alone. Or with sex--I'm having sex with someone, yet I still feel completely alone.

It's messed up.

On top of that--I don't even like orgasming. It bothers me. It's really weird. I did lose my virginity to a date rape, but somehow I feel like I should have gotten over that by now. I feel like there's something wrong with me since so many people can enjoy sex or masturbation without making it a big deal, but for me it becomes a huge meaningful thing. 

To me, the feeling isn't ecstasy but a loss of control and a feeling of escaped meaning.

I once had a dream that a couple of giant plucked chickens dressed as nuns were forcing me to watch porn. This is my biggest clue.

Otherwise, yeah, I don't have any answers. It would be nice to know there are others who experience this though.


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## TriggerHappy923 (Dec 8, 2012)

TWN said:


> *I hate being female*. This is *why I cling to atheism*; because if there were a god, he would be too busy saving the world to intentionally fuck up my sex life like this.
> I wanna crawl inside of a cave and die.
> Does anyone know how to fix this? And I promise I wont make anymore threads about my horrible sex life for awhile.


I hate being a woman too.
You cling to atheism because of an emotional reason? That's not bad, I just never heard of anyone saying that. Isn't that the same as theist that believes a god(s) because of emotional issues? This might be a hint, just from that statement, that you may be unsure of a lot of things. I don't know HOW you can fix this issue, but do you think you are unsure of other things in your life that this may have stemmed from? 

I don't know how to help, but if maybe you can backtrack. Have you had any dreams lately? Sometimes that our subconsciousness telling us how we really feel and about what. If we have an issue, usually we'll dream about it. Anyways, something to think about. I want to help, I'm not sure how. I don't know how to react when someone is in a situation like this. 
Note: DON'T get advice from ISFPs! I'm not even sure if I'm serious, but don't do it! (now I've got to be joking)


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

TriggerHappy923 said:


> I hate being a woman too.
> You cling to atheism because of an emotional reason? That's not bad, I just never heard of anyone saying that. Isn't that the same as theist that believes a god(s) because of emotional issues? This might be a hint, just from that statement, that you may be unsure of a lot of things. I don't know HOW you can fix this issue, but do you think you are unsure of other things in your life that this may have stemmed from?
> 
> I don't know how to help, but if maybe you can backtrack. Have you had any dreams lately? Sometimes that our subconsciousness telling us how we really feel and about what. If we have an issue, usually we'll dream about it. Anyways, something to think about. I want to help, I'm not sure how. I don't know how to react when someone is in a situation like this.
> Note: DON'T get advice from ISFPs! I'm not even sure if I'm serious, but don't do it! (now I've got to be joking)


Yeah, the atheist thing was a joke. ^_^


My last dream was about me and some random celebrity (dont even remember who) fighting off what looked to be zombies, and trying to make our way to a town called Georgia in the middle of the US. Yeah, odd.

It's OK dude, you dont need to react.


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

TWN said:


> My last dream was about me and some random celebrity (dont even remember who) fighting off what looked to be zombies, and trying to make our way to a town called Georgia in the middle of the US. Yeah, odd.


God I love having those kind of dreams. I haven't had one in a long time, hope I have one soon.


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## Destiny Lund (Sep 2, 2011)

Well, masturbating is a stress-reliever, so it doesn't surprise me actually that you would cry. A lot of people who are stressed don't even realize they are. This could be the case.


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