# Can you see the real me?



## Jrquinlisk (Jan 17, 2009)

I'm officially back from my unofficial hiatus. Between hanging out with friends and desperately trying to find a job, I found it hard to devote any time to the site. I did, however, find time to do a little soul-searching. Well, quite a bit of soul-searching, actually. And I came to a conclusion:

I'm not as INFP as I may have led you to believe.

I've taken various forms of the MBTI online, and though I kept coming up INFP, I couldn't help but wonder if there was some sort of confirmation bias at work.* Especially after seeing the INFPs here.

I suspect I might be more of an IN*T*P. I'm not that big a fan of visual art like painting and sculpture, and I'm not going to even bother trying to write stories or poetry or anything like that. I don't really do that whole "display of emotions" thing, either. In fact, I'm very logical when it comes to my feelings, as odd as that might sound.

On the other hand, I don't deal well with conflict or criticism. I'm easily discouraged, and when there's a fight going on nearby, my first instinct is to leave.

So, yeah. I'm a confused little INxP. Not that I'm particularly lacking for direction in my life; I'm just annoyed that I don't quite know what goes in that third slot... Feedback on the subject would be greatly appreciated.

Also – because I can – here's a song I think would be appropriate:






*Or maybe it's because I took most of the tests when I should have been in bed.


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## Kevinaswell (May 6, 2009)

So we got an INTP here that is so close to the 50% mark their feelings still play a large part in their interpretance of life, 'eh?

Well that sounds fun 

Let's get stupid.

Welcome.


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## Nightriser (Nov 8, 2008)

I was discussing this with Nyx the other day, about my own type. I told her that I suspect myself to have more F than others have been lead to believe. The reasons themselves are not relevant, but your situation sounds similar to my own, specifically with conflict avoidance (though I'm pretty okay with criticism). The conclusion she and I came to was INTP with relatively high Fe. Does this sound about right to you?


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## Sidewalk Balloonatic (Mar 10, 2009)

None of that means you aren't INFP. In fact all of that applies to me as well.

I'm not artistic either. I have done graphic design and played a few instruments but never taken any of it seriously.

As for how you treat your emotions, that is what Introverted Feeling is all about. Fi is still a form of rationalising, it just a holistic and personal approach rather an atomistic and impersonal one. Emotions can be scary and embarassing for a lot of INFPs and they like to work them out before expressing them. They are still aware of them though. INTPs are often oblivious to their feelings, how they affect their decisions and when they are being expressed in themselves or others.

Welcome back by the way.


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## starri (Jan 23, 2009)

When I was first introduced to MBTI i got the general idea that all thinkers are harsh, rash, conflict-loving people. Later it turns out that alot of thinkers actually "hate" conflict and like getting along with people. Probably through a correlation of enneagram and MBTI will you discover that not all MBTI stereotypes apply to each person in the type.

I have unemotional cold hearted INFP friends.
I have unintelligent irrational Thinker friends.

I also like to add that sometimes the INTP's struggle for perfection and the *right* way to go before acting can very well resemble the *idealist* approach of the INFP.

I recommended you read the OP of this thread; http://personalitycafe.com/personality-test-resources/2640-oldhams-personality-styles.html and judge for yourself.

:happy:


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## Yoite (Jun 1, 2009)

humm ^^ well consider me a bit of a foolish but i dont really belive that a number of questions would define me .... for starters most of the questions have options i myself would never take , out of obligation you just choose any which is least unreasonable.... but the fact remains the choices dont represent you to the fullest.... this is just for fun, and i dont belive it's accurate in any way, if in anything it would be a 50% chance of hitting 50% of the real you ... and even that change over time... dont take it too seriously or explain your actions or Classify yourself before you get to know it fully .... dont limit it over a certain view or so i think


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## starri (Jan 23, 2009)

Yoite said:


> humm ^^ well consider me a bit of a foolish but i dont really belive that a number of questions would define me .... for starters most of the questions have options i myself would never take , out of obligation you just choose any which is least unreasonable.... but the fact remains the choices dont represent you to the fullest.... this is just for fun, and i dont belive it's accurate in any way, if in anything it would be a 50% chance of hitting 50% of the real you ... and even that change over time... dont take it too seriously or explain your actions or Classify yourself before you get to know it fully .... dont limit it over a certain view or so i think


umm, no, im pretty sure you are an INFP. You were just feeling cold or whatever while taking the test.. but you are INFP. 90% sure.


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## Yoite (Jun 1, 2009)

hahaha dont classify me  i am not that simple to be read by an exam


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## Kevinaswell (May 6, 2009)

Cuddle Donor said:


> INTPs are often oblivious to their feelings, how they affect their decisions and when they are being expressed in themselves or others.


I wouldn't say "oblivious" for sure. Because we're incredibly, emotionally aware of them.

We're just incredibly detached, and beat the expression of these emotions down with our logic/rationalising.

They are still just as real, though.


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## Trope (Oct 18, 2008)

Alhurriya said:


> I was discussing this with Nyx the other day, about my own type. I told her that I suspect myself to have more F than others have been lead to believe. The reasons themselves are not relevant, but your situation sounds similar to my own, specifically with conflict avoidance (though I'm pretty okay with criticism). The conclusion she and I came to was INTP with relatively high Fe. Does this sound about right to you?


Sounds familiar to me. I only confront when I can no longer evade and/or it seems necessary for the resolution of an issue I can't willfully ignore. It doesn't happen often and I keep it as brief as possible when it does.


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## hotgirlinfl (May 15, 2009)

Jrquinlisk said:


> I'm officially back from my unofficial hiatus. Between hanging out with friends and desperately trying to find a job, I found it hard to devote any time to the site. I did, however, find time to do a little soul-searching. Well, quite a bit of soul-searching, actually. And I came to a conclusion:
> 
> I'm not as INFP as I may have led you to believe.
> 
> ...


 I'm the same exact way I don't like conflict or critism


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## Jrquinlisk (Jan 17, 2009)

Thanks for all the input, guys. I'm looking through it and giving it a good deal of thought.

I think part of the reason for the trouble I've been having is my tendency to compartmentalize the various parts of my social life. The way I think and act when tutoring or teaching is different from the way I think and act when I'm hanging out with college friends, which is different from the way I think and act when I'm with old high school friends. I wear a lot of masks, and they're all an integral part of who I am.


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## Perseus (Mar 7, 2009)

*Hawkeye*

Back from the pub, so i am running higher on Intuition.

Try the Paragon test click on my signature. My N says you are INTJ.


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## slowriot (Nov 11, 2008)

I think that what you say about masks is interesting. I've come across this a few times lately and have been thinking if feeling make you do that. I know we all do masks to a certain extend I just dont think that I put as much attention on that as say F types. I try to be me to all people, I to a certain degree never consciously put on a facade.

About conflict, when I dont see a purpose in it I evade from it aswell. I like harmonious relationships.


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## Jrquinlisk (Jan 17, 2009)

Kevinaswell said:


> So we got an INTP here that is so close to the 50% mark their feelings still play a large part in their interpretance of life, 'eh?





Alhurriya said:


> I was discussing this with Nyx the other day, about my own type. I told her that I suspect myself to have more F than others have been lead to believe. The reasons themselves are not relevant, but your situation sounds similar to my own, specifically with conflict avoidance (though I'm pretty okay with criticism). The conclusion she and I came to was INTP with relatively high Fe. Does this sound about right to you?


I'm beginning to suspect that this might be the case.



Cuddle Donor said:


> None of that means you aren't INFP. In fact all of that applies to me as well.
> 
> I'm not artistic either. I have done graphic design and played a few instruments but never taken any of it seriously.
> 
> As for how you treat your emotions, that is what Introverted Feeling is all about. Fi is still a form of rationalising, it just a holistic and personal approach rather an atomistic and impersonal one. Emotions can be scary and embarassing for a lot of INFPs and they like to work them out before expressing them. They are still aware of them though. INTPs are often oblivious to their feelings, how they affect their decisions and when they are being expressed in themselves or others.


And therein lies my dilemma. I'll have to do some more research on the specific functions. Especially T/F with respect to emotion and conflict.



Cuddle Donor said:


> Welcome back by the way.


Thanks. It's good to be back.



Nyx Asteria said:


> When I was first introduced to MBTI i got the general idea that all thinkers are harsh, rash, conflict-loving people. Later it turns out that alot of thinkers actually "hate" conflict and like getting along with people. Probably through a correlation of enneagram and MBTI will you discover that not all MBTI stereotypes apply to each person in the type.
> 
> I have unemotional cold hearted INFP friends.
> I have unintelligent irrational Thinker friends.
> ...


Thanks for the link. I'll peruse this and see what comes up. Perhaps a thorough determination of my Enneagram type would also help...



Trope said:


> Sounds familiar to me. I only confront when I can no longer evade and/or it seems necessary for the resolution of an issue I can't willfully ignore. It doesn't happen often and I keep it as brief as possible when it does.





hotgirlinfl said:


> I'm the same exact way I don't like conflict or critism





slowriot said:


> About conflict, when I dont see a purpose in it I evade from it aswell. I like harmonious relationships.


This is a useful little nugget to ponder. I suppose I might be failing to properly distinguish between "debate" and "conflict". I don't mind a good debate once in a while, but if someone starts arguing with me with no apparent cause or purpose, especially over some completely subjective reason like my taste in music or TV shows, I tend to get defensive. And as I said earlier, I can't handle criticism very well at all.



Perseus said:


> Back from the pub, so i am running higher on Intuition.
> 
> Try the Paragon test click on my signature. My N says you are INTJ.


I: 11
N: 10
T: 8
P: 9

If there's one letter I'm sure about, it's that P.



slowriot said:


> I think that what you say about masks is interesting. I've come across this a few times lately and have been thinking if feeling make you do that. I know we all do masks to a certain extend I just dont think that I put as much attention on that as say F types. I try to be me to all people, I to a certain degree never consciously put on a facade.


I noticed this in college when I was doing volunteer work for a local school. While I was at the school doing tutoring work, I had a sort of "mentor" aura. When I was hanging out with dormmates, it was more of a ... well, it's hard to describe, but it definitely wasn't the same "mentor" aura from the volunteer work. When I'm with friends from high school, it's more of a "quiet mad scientist" vibe. Not to mention the changes that show up when I'm fatigued, sleep-deprived, etc. When I say that my personality/mood/tastes depend on the time of day, or who I'm with, or what's on TV, I'm not really kidding.


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