# Enneagram Compatibility



## widdlewiddle (May 6, 2011)

I have seen patterns between types and couples and I would like to know if other couples fit the pattern I have seen of compatibility between the types. Does anyone have anything to add?

Here is a rough draft of who is most compatible between the types:

1's with 2's or 5's.
2's with 1's or 7's or 3's.
3's with 5's or 2's.
4's with 6's.
5's with 1's or 3's
6's with 4's.
7's with 2's.
8's with 9's.
9's with 8's or 6's.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

Why 6 and 4? I mean I like 4s got nothing against them, but I don't see the logic in a 6 finding security in a 4.

I would think 9s would be a good stabilizing influence for a 6 (I like 9s), that certain kinds of 3s would appeal to certain 6s because they can be successful (which again, provides security financially or socially) or popular (providing security socially) ...or a 6 could lean on the "image" of a 3 being a leader in their chosen group or community (I had a six year relationship with a 3).

2s also would make the more traditional or conventional phobic 6s feel secure. However, a 2 might make a counterphobic 6 feel a little too...doted on. 

I can also see 1s and 3s together.


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## Miracles seeker (Dec 10, 2010)

Fore sevens: 
4's (we always attract each other)
9 (they fallow our planes and most of my friends are 9’s)
3 (I’m attracted to their ambition and their attitude) 
5 (we make great team)
I thinks the worst match for me would be dominate 6 (they worry too much for a seven) and dominate 8 (they love to control but I'm attracted to them).


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## funcoolname (Sep 17, 2011)

I think I could be attracted to 4s when I was younger, I don't think I could go with a main-type 4 now.. I agree with 3s, possibly 9s, healthy 2s but it might not be an initial attraction, phobic 6s, agree with the attraction to 8s but it might be too much


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## sodden (Jul 20, 2009)

I'm a four with a seven.

I've been attracted to nine and five. Didn't work.

Sixes and threes have been attracted to me. It wasn't mutual.

That said, I think instinct is more important in compatibility than e type.


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## Jamie.Ether (Jul 1, 2011)

I'm a Five and could see myself with a One or a Seven.
I'm with a Six right now, but the match isn't really natural. We have a good amount of difficulties. 
I don't see where three came from [for a 5]?
Threes are the type I can relate to the least. I see us making a horrible match.


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

I remember reading on enneagram forum that the most rare pairings rae 8 and 3, 3 and 6 though the later frequently get drawn to each other but it usually doesn't work.

There is a compatibility study linked in an article posted here which confirms some of the common pairings you noticed.


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## sleepyhead (Nov 14, 2011)

I'm with a 6 now but I think I could easily be with any type so long as that person was very self-aware and healthy - I know I have more of a predisposition to withdrawn types, and I find confidence very attractive.


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## Curiously (Nov 7, 2011)

I think any type would work with me (a Type 5) as long as we were both mature and healthy enough. But based off of my curiosity and the readings I've done, I wouldn't mind if I met a Type 8 individual and see how we would work in tandem. That is, if both he and I are at very healthy levels and were serious about trying each other out. Healthy Type 8, where are you? I'm reaching my healthy 5 levels, yo! ;D


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## sleepyhead (Nov 14, 2011)

SillaSY said:


> I think any type would work with me (a Type 5) as long as we were both mature and healthy enough. But based off of my curiosity and the readings I've done, I wouldn't mind if I met a Type 8 individual and see how we would work in tandem. That is, if both he and I are at very healthy levels and were serious about trying each other out. Healthy Type 8, where are you? I'm reaching my healthy 5 levels, yo! ;D


I've also thought a type 8 would probably be a good match. I find healthy 8's extremely charismatic and attractive.


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## Kyandigaru (Mar 11, 2012)

Miracles seeker said:


> Fore sevens:
> 4's (we always attract each other)
> 9 (they fallow our planes and most of my friends are 9’s)
> 3 (I’m attracted to their ambition and their attitude)
> ...


One quick question.

How do you all know what type a person is if they don't take the test?
I'm guessing you get your friends to do the tests...eh?

I wish I knew some of the people's type before I befriend them! ugh...life would be so much better.


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## sleepyhead (Nov 14, 2011)

Kyandigaru said:


> One quick question.
> 
> How do you all know what type a person is if they don't take the test?
> I'm guessing you get your friends to do the tests...eh?
> ...


Enneagram type isn't usually something that can be very reliably tested. Most authors of Enneagram theory will tell you to type yourself by reading and researching all types.

Some friends of mine are interested in the Enneagram, and others I've typed from a distance based on my own knowledge. However, if someone thinks they are a type either than what I've suggested, then I'll respect them. Even though I feel I can type people fairly reliably, the only one who can truly type you is yourself. 

As well, there's such a huge variation of personalities within each type, so even knowing a persons type beforehand won't necessarily help you.


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## hz light (Nov 7, 2013)

i am sorry but a 2 for a 6 is not the best deal,sixes eventually feel that they need to get busy with their thoughts and a 2 would almost never let them dive into their inner world trying to help them out even when they need no help and also kind of damaging their privacy,a 4 would not only respect more the space of a 6 but they would also understand the pain of a 6,i agree though with the fact that a 9 would be good for a six,maybe i think like that because of my tritype i dont know(6w7,9w1,4w5),anyways i identify with fours and nines.


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## hz light (Nov 7, 2013)

my tritype6w7,9w1,4w5),maybe you could give a chance to me,lol.


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## hz light (Nov 7, 2013)

i think the ideal would be doing the test and self-observation.


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## Napoleptic (Oct 29, 2010)

I notice no one's mentioned same-type pairings...


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## Kingpin (Aug 14, 2013)

1 with 2, 6
2 with 1, 6
3 with 5, 1 
4 with 7, 8
5 with 3, 1
6 with 1, 2, 
7 with 4, 9
8 with 4, 9
9 with 7, 8


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## hz light (Nov 7, 2013)

i suppose that good matches for like all types would be:9 and 7,1 and 3,2 and 7,3 and 1,4 and 6,5 and 1,6 and 4,7 and 9 and 8 and 4(it is harder to find types that comine well with twos,fives and eights,anyways i think those are mostly good matches).


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## Klaude (Apr 10, 2014)

What odds do you give a 5 and 2?? Seems like there's some potential there.


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## charlie.elliot (Jan 22, 2014)

I'm a 9w1 with a 1w9, and it works out really well, except occasionally when we try to work together on a project and her solid perfectionism clashes with my latent perfectionism... Usually I can back off though, since my perfectionism is short-lived and lets me go after a while (I just stop caring).


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## SweetPickles (Mar 19, 2012)

I will do my best guess for all, *this is who I think each individual type would be most attracted to.*

Type 1- 9s, 2s, 6s 
Type 2- 3s, 7s, 8s honestly, type 2s pair well with many. I think they'd be most attracted to 3s and 7s. In real life I usually see them with 3s and 8s though.
Type 3- 2s!!, 6s, 7s, other 3s
Type 4- 1s, 5s, 7s, possible 9s
Type 5- 3s, 4s, 6s
Type 6- 2s, 7s(attractive but dangerous vibe ), 8s (9s are nice and I adore them, but 6's need a more decisive mate I think). I could see two 6s together as well, maybe one is more phobic.
Type 7- types 1-9 :tongue:; No...2s, 3s, 4s, 6s
Type 8- 2s, 4s (ok fine, their will be an initial strong attraction but I think this is a dangerous pair), 6s, 9s (but can see annoyance coming from both sides...like a type A vs Type B personality clash but sometimes those are the best relationships).
Type 9- 1s, 2s, 4s, possible 6, perhaps 8 

Notice that type 2s have lots of options. I think they are a very attractive type that mesh well with most. I think 6s mesh well with other types as well because there is so much variability within the type. Anyone who is with a type 6 WILL have to put up with the initial ambivalence and testing of the 6. If they love/adore the 6...they will . It is also said that type 6's are usually physically attractive because they make the effort, thus may give 6's more options initially. (3's similar in this way). Type 3's are also super charming and 7's are just plain fun so they usually have a plethora of mates to choose from.

I'm a type 6w7 (varies sometimes 6w5) married to an 8w7 we mesh well. My tritype is 649 his is 835 (835's are wow!). We hit it off really fast and he has said he has never felt this close to anyone else (I agree, but I was much slower to warm). Although when 6s and 8s butt heads, get the popcorn out. An angry 6, especially with a 5 wing, has a serpent's tongue and if pushed to that point the wrath of 8 vs nasty,vicious 6 will be a throw-down. 6s usually seek peace and security so it won't happen often (when they finally learn how to tame their lion 8 . I will tell you one type I know for sure would get on my nerves as a spouse (not friend)...TYPE 3s! It's said that type 6s disintegrate to type 3s when unhealthy, I wonder if it's common to clash with the type you become when unhealthy...but that would not jive with my type 2 and type 8 pairing. Maybe it's bc I'm an INFP and I don't have the same values as 3s.

OT: type 9s are probably the most liked IMO both in friendship and relationship-wise, how can you not like such a carefree, accepting, genuine type? Just being around them is soothing.


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## StaceofBass (Jul 1, 2012)

As a type 9, I tend to find Type 3 very...enticing. 

:blushed:


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## StaceofBass (Jul 1, 2012)

MelanieM said:


> OT: type 9s are probably the most liked IMO both in friendship and relationship-wise, how can you not like such a carefree, accepting, genuine type? Just being around them is soothing.


:bored:

Thanks... :blushed:


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## hz light (Nov 7, 2013)

Klaude said:


> What odds do you give a 5 and 2?? Seems like there's some potential there.


maybe there is some chance to these types create a relationship let me see,both have a certain compliance,competency and independency so maybe it could work(6w7,9w1,4w5).


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## Teen Rose (Aug 4, 2018)

Miracles seeker said:


> Fore sevens:
> 4's (we always attract each other)
> 9 (they fallow our planes and most of my friends are 9’s)
> 3 (I’m attracted to their ambition and their attitude)
> ...


so true! iam attracted to 7s and they too! But they are not committing!


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