# How to identify quickly if a person is has a NF temperament?



## lokariototal (Dec 3, 2009)

How do you identify quickly if a person is a NF? what traits can you easily see in NF people? just give ur opinion!


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## hanscs (Dec 4, 2009)

They are interested in human relationships? Their minds are full of ideas and principles?


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## isthatheidi (Nov 21, 2009)

The NF's I know are pretty universally passionate about music, exceptionally easy to talk to, and comfortable in their individuality. I'm trying to think of traits that could be observed by an outsider. There are other qualities, but those are more things that go on inside their heart or head, and might not be as easy to observe.


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## Blue Butterfly (Sep 19, 2009)

INFP - usually dressed differently than others often inappropriately dressed. Usually complaining about about being hurt by someone. May appear to be very cold emotionally to the outside observer. Will get irritated if you talk to them to much or try to control them.

INFJ - Can be very quiet but when they do talk they usually go off an many different tangents. Often walks very upright with a straight back. Will reviel very little if anything personal about themselves.

ENFJ - Always looking to please someone else. Will be dressed nicely and appropriately. Ask them for relationship advice and their faces light up like you gave them a million dollars. Then watch them pour out appropriate and useful information.

ENFP - Hint at some kind of gossip and they will jump in full force. They will not only gossip about others freely but give them a tidbit of information about you and you will get the information back for different people. They will spread any kind of gossip.


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## susurration (Oct 22, 2009)

Hurting said:


> INFP - usually dressed differently than others often inappropriately dressed


Haha. Care to elaborate?


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## Blue Butterfly (Sep 19, 2009)

NatalieAnne said:


> Haha. Care to elaborate?



Just my observations and nothing more.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

Hurting said:


> INFP - usually dressed differently than others often inappropriately dressed. Usually complaining about about being hurt by someone. May appear to be very cold emotionally to the outside observer. Will get irritated if you talk to them to much or try to control them.
> 
> INFJ - Can be very quiet but when they do talk they usually go off an many different tangents. Often walks very upright with a straight back. Will reviel very little if anything personal about themselves.
> 
> ...



Hmmm, most of these seem very negative. I don't know one ENFP who seems gossipy in the slightest. I have to say that for being interested in people NFs are exceptionally NOT gossipy. We seem to respect privacy a lot. Not all gossip is bad though, and I notice sensors lean towards that kind of conversation, but it's just how they exchange information.

I do dress "different" at times, but I wouldn't say inappropriate. I don't complain in public about anything. Only my closest family/friends hear my grievances, and they have to prompt me; I'm pretty sure that's typical for INFPs. I do appear colder externally than I feel. It's a misconception that INFPs are warm and sweet. We certainly can seem very caring, but I know my default mode seems pretty aloof. I may feel annoyed by overly chatty people, but I would not show it; instead I would try and escape graciously. I definitely do not like to be controlled - I think many INFPs have a distaste for authority.

Anyway, back to the OP...
The NF temperament is generally identified by:

*Being Idealistic* - Holding high principles, noble ideas, often to the point of being unrealistic and being perfectionists. This can make NFs critical or easily disappointed. It can also motivate them to do a lot of amazing things. They often have some cause based on their ideals that they are passionate about (ie. environment, religion, etc).

*Having Empathy* - Understanding and identifying with another person's feelings/situation. Seeing from their perspective basically. It doesn't necessarily mean feeling sorry for them, but it often does involve or lead to sympathetic feeling.

*Showing/Feeling Compassion* - Deep sympathy for people and wanting to help them. NFs can be bleeding hearts for the underdog. This is often manifested more in emotional support than physically doing things for people. I'm the shoulder to cry on, but I probably won't bring you soup when you're sick - that's more the SF style of nurturing.

*Imaginative and Creative - *while any type can be that way, the NF temperament seems to really lean towards having a whimsical imagination and being creative, especially in the arts.

*Avoid Conflict - *NFs usually try to keep harmony and strive for "win-win" situations. This doesn't mean they are passive, will never argue or speak up, or are doormats. It just means they try and take a diplomatic approach whenever possible.

*Abstract speech - *Speech may not seem very linear, and they'll often make seemingly random connections between things. Most NFs will use metaphor heavily and put a lot of stock in symbolism. They may read between the lines and look for additional meaning. Analyzing subjects, especially people, is something they usually enjoy. 

A few other common traits: 
- generally drawn to culture and the arts (music, art, literature, philosophy)
- like to talk to people _but in an analytical way_ - that last part is important, because an SF and an NF will often have very different ways of talking about people.
- altruistic nature, shown by their goals and "causes"
- moody, because being emotional can mean being cranky along with having a big heart...don't expect all NFs to be a cloud of sweetness. You'd be surprised at how many are simultaneously surly and compassionate. It has a lot to do with dashed idealist hopes/dreams. Introverts in general can seem aloof, so INFs may especially seem that way (especially when compared to, say, an ISFJ).


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

I dress weird. My INFJ friend walks around with a straight back. My ENFJ friend used to love giving social advice. My ENFP friend used to gossip. I think either it's an odd coincidence, or Hurting is right. Then again, my ENFP brother is very good at keeping secrets and would never dream of being a gossip. My INFJ mother's posture is no better than mine. It probably varies a bit.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Arioche (Aug 5, 2009)

Hurting said:


> ENFP - Hint at some kind of gossip and they will jump in full force. They will not only gossip about others freely but give them a tidbit of information about you and you will get the information back for different people. They will spread any kind of gossip.


lol, you make us sound so...negative. I've never been big on gossip, I actually really dislike it when people talks behind other's back; if I feel the need to voice my opinion, I will do so in their face. I'm also not much of a curious person either, and will only "jump on gossip" if they want me to hear them out, or out of concern (if I feel as I can give advice) or politeness (so they will not feel ignored).


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## Blue Butterfly (Sep 19, 2009)

Arioche said:


> lol, you make us sound so...negative. I've never been big on gossip, I actually really dislike it when people talks behind other's back; if I feel the need to voice my opinion, I will do so in their face. I'm also not much of a curious person either, and will only "jump on gossip" if they want me to hear them out, or out of concern (if I feel as I can give advice) or politeness (so they will not feel ignored).


Sorry, I don't mean to say all ENFP are like that. I am using this ENFP woman that I work with as the example. We were cubical neighbors for almost 10 years and I could hear her gossip about everyone. She is the only ENFP I knew for sure of her type. But I don't think every ENFP is like that. But I know for sure she was like that.


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## Rourk (Feb 17, 2009)

Hurting said:


> INFP - usually dressed differently than others often inappropriately dressed. Usually complaining about about being hurt by someone. May appear to be very cold emotionally to the outside observer. Will get irritated if you talk to them to much or try to control them.


I don't think INFP men are like this. I have a friend who has to hold back from hugging people. But other than that, he is extremely balanced and has some of the best coping skills I've ever seen when it comes to emotional issues. He is more of a bohemian and reminds me of Roger Rabbit, for some reason, which is absurd. 



> INFJ - Can be very quiet but when they do talk they usually go off an many different tangents. Often walks very upright with a straight back. Will reviel very little if anything personal about themselves.


I consider the INFJ the Darth Vader personality. Deep down, they are good but they hind behind a dark mask...



> ENFJ - Always looking to please someone else. Will be dressed nicely and appropriately. Ask them for relationship advice and their faces light up like you gave them a million dollars. Then watch them pour out appropriate and useful information.


I think they have it really bad. Always the desire to help others but they seem cut off from helping their self at times. Who nurturers the nurturer? I usually go into defend against all enemies mode around ENFJ's. But, then again, they are usually extremely confident and highly capable individuals who make life enjoyable to the people involved with them.



> ENFP - Hint at some kind of gossip and they will jump in full force. They will not only gossip about others freely but give them a tidbit of information about you and you will get the information back for different people. They will spread any kind of gossip.


I bet to them it isn't gossip at all. I think the ENFP is so brilliantly perceptive a lot of the time and that it causes them to not see the hidden dimensions for others actions in a lot of instances. Their theories about people can get tangled up in their own self delusions. But this will change in an instant when someone expresses a different way of viewing the situation. 


Here is how I go about my analysis of the NF's in the environment. 

INFP has this smile on their face that isn't strained when in passing with others. The women usually have that pet my head like smirk on their face that makes me want to save them from their peril or I appreciate it, in passing. There is an understanding of depth. Fi is the most amazing thing and is so enigmatic that they are some of the most curious individuals to observe.

INFJ has that look on their face of reveal your soul to me. They have this mysterious and penetrating gaze that sees deep into people but ironically, it can be mistaken for distant even though they are really engaging the observer to share the self with them

ENFJ's have this sort of properness about them. Dress style will be very in touch, yet remote enough to have that original sense of taste that has them subtly stand out. Maybe not, and not always. I also think that the ENFJ will rate their potential mate based on their dress style, etc. The women at least will bust a guy's ass if he hasn't shaved proper or dresses a way that is too foreign. I think their gait is sure and they have grace socially. If someone has 5000000000000 friends, and wants to save the world, I take this into account also. 

ENFP has this ambiverted appeal that can be deduced after some conversation. I think they have a wide range of dress style, etc. They have this endearing appeal. And after a few conversations and some connection points, one will see aspects of introversion and extroversion. They will also have this outward idealism that will make an INTJ intrigued by their wide range of interests and talents. The INTJ will have to ruminate a bit to deduce an ENFP if he encouters her. But I usually end up falling in love with them.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

Rourk said:


> INFP has this smile on their face that isn't strained when in passing with others. The women usually have that pet my head like smirk on their face that makes me want to save them from their peril or I appreciate it, in passing. There is an understanding of depth. Fi is the most amazing thing and is so enigmatic that they are some of the most curious individuals to observe.
> 
> INFJ has that look on their face of reveal your soul to me. They have this mysterious and penetrating gaze that sees deep into people but ironically, it can be mistaken for distant even though they are really engaging the observer to share the self with them
> 
> ...


I relate more to the INFJ description here. I hardly smile, and people are always harping on me for it. My mom complained the other day about me being "dark" all the time - I'm just thinking! I'm not upset about anything.

All the ENFJ men I know dress either very plainly and/or very badly. They seem to make a conscious effort to not be anything close to "metro-sexual" and claim to care little about their appearance. It's a trend I noticed in their attitude, and I'm not sure if or how it relates to their type.... I've known ENFJs who dressed well though. I don't think dress has a lot to do with type, although stylish NFs may be more avant garde than, say, a stylish SJ.


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## Arioche (Aug 5, 2009)

Hurting said:


> Sorry, I don't mean to say all ENFP are like that. I am using this ENFP woman that I work with as the example. We were cubical neighbors for almost 10 years and I could hear her gossip about everyone. She is the only ENFP I knew for sure of her type. But I don't think every ENFP is like that. But I know for sure she was like that.


Not a problem. <3
I just wanted to point it out, thanks for correcting. :wink:


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## jozstyl (Nov 13, 2009)

Well, I would have to say that most of the stuff posted about ENFJs is spot on...at least when it comes to me  Although, I no longer have 50000000000 friends anymore, becuase as someone posted, few nurture the nurturer (a lot of this is our own doing). I was drained...so now I only have a few good friends and the rest are distant aquaintances 

I am always trying to type people (it's a sickness) and I agree that the big thing with NFs is our desire to talk about people in an analytical way. SF like to talk about people to, but it is different in my observation. An SF will say something like, "I can't stand that guy he's a jerk!" where as an NF will be more likely to say something like, "That guy is so mean. He is totally insecure and takes it out on everyone else!" We try to figure out WHY the guy is a jerk...it's not good enough to just know that he is. I also find that many (but not all) NFs like to talk about spirituality, not to be confused with religion. NFs who are spititual tend to think of how we are all connected and look at spirituality in terms of humanity and how their spirituality can help them make the world better...their view on spirituality tends to be very idealistic and selfless in nature.


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## lokariototal (Dec 3, 2009)

OrangeAppled said:


> *Being Idealistic* - Holding high principles, noble ideas, often to the point of being unrealistic and being perfectionists. This can make NFs critical or easily disappointed. It can also motivate them to do a lot of amazing things. They often have some cause based on their ideals that they are passionate about (ie. environment, religion, etc).


When they say that NF temperament is called "the DREAMER" is that the same as BEING IDEALISTIC? In other words, Being a dreamer=being idealistic?


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## susurration (Oct 22, 2009)

OrangeAppled said:


> All the ENFJ men I know dress either very plainly and/or very badly. They seem to make a conscious effort to not be anything close to "metro-sexual" and claim to care little about their appearance. It's a trend I noticed in their attitude, and I'm not sure if or how it relates to their type....


Where can I find me an ENFJ?


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## thegirlcandance (Jul 29, 2009)

I always thought that the easiest way to know a NF when you see one is if they can easily see the big picture of things - such as other people's perspectives, all aspects of a situation, etc. Then that combined with very willing to help others when needed (even if its not always so obvious, like with INFJs). Another sign (though it is not obvious right away) is that NFs tend to always be at highs and lows with their emotions. We are either jubilant or melancholy.


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

All NF's are blue.


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## Tridentus (Dec 14, 2009)

Arioche said:


> lol, you make us sound so...negative. I've never been big on gossip, I actually really dislike it when people talks behind other's back; if I feel the need to voice my opinion, I will do so in their face. I'm also not much of a curious person either, and will only "jump on gossip" if they want me to hear them out, or out of concern (if I feel as I can give advice) or politeness (so they will not feel ignored).


you dont sound at all like an ENFP :/
im usually a gossip, but not because im out to gossip, the urge just takes me because im interested in other peoples opinions about people. usually ill hold back though because i can tell other people dont appreciate me doing it. one thing i KNOW an ENFP is is curious about social interaction. that i cant help myself doing..


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## Shadow1980 (Jul 17, 2009)

My department at work is almost all NF's. We talk about spiratual stuff, philosophy, and music constantly. We also are very protective of one another. It's pretty awesome.


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

Shadow1980 said:


> My department at work is almost all NF's. We talk about spiratual stuff, philosophy, and music constantly. We also are very protective of one another. It's pretty awesome.


man...well what is your department?


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

lokariototal said:


> When they say that NF temperament is called "the DREAMER" is that the same as BEING IDEALISTIC? In other words, Being a dreamer=being idealistic?


Yeah, I think that's what they mean when they say "dreamer", because ideals exist in the mind, which makes NFs prone to daydreaming and fantasizing. The word "dreamer" tends to imply being impractical and disconnected from reality, and idealism often implies the same, because it requires believing in and striving for what seems impossible and perfect over what currently exists and is flawed.

But you don't need to be an NF to daydream or to be visionary. NTs can be visionary in their thinking, artistic SPs are probably very imaginative, and I'm sure SJs daydream, even if they are not "idealists". Most of them would not be called "dreamers" because they probably don't have the romanticized views that NFs hold.


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## ambrosiatea (Dec 28, 2008)

The ENFPs I know smile a lot, appear to be pleased and amazed by everything, easily excited, easy going, kinda flakey, tell me exactly what I need to hear without being forceful or overly critical, like to eat, say and do everything I cannot---personally I do not think they are gossips at all. In fact I get the impression they don't like saying anything bad about people in general and instead prefer to go on and on about traits they'd like to enumerate--they're also really popular without really realizing it. 

ENFJs are also extremely popular...the ones I know always have a steady stream of suitors who they reject not because they're not attracted to them but because they don't match up to an ideal of theirs'. They usually appear very open, friendly, smart, well kept, motivated, hard-working, involved, reliable, nicely dressed, energetic---and perhaps unintentionally flirty. The two that I know also have high moral standards that they do not like violating and if they should do so---they can get really flustered or put out--they also like challenges and seem to dislike it when people are too judgmental or passive. 

Don't know any INFJs or other INFPs in real life. But I am told that I generally appear quiet, unassuming, honest, flexible, and at times shy or awkward around people I find too dazzling or too new. I am also pretty flakey and a bit of pushover despite my strong beliefs about one thing or another.


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## Highlander (Dec 20, 2009)

OrangeAppled said:


> The NF temperament is generally identified by:
> 
> *Being Idealistic* - Holding high principles, noble ideas, often to the point of being unrealistic and being perfectionists. This can make NFs critical or easily disappointed. It can also motivate them to do a lot of amazing things. They often have some cause based on their ideals that they are passionate about (ie. environment, religion, etc).
> 
> ...


This is really helpful. I have a very hard time telling if someone is an NF or an SF. I can usually tell with ENFPs but not as well with the other types until I really get to know them well. For example, I don't think I've every met anyone that I could tell was an INFJ, though I'm sure I've met some. Many of the things above (empathy, compassion, avoiding conflict) are also traits of SFs too. Sorry if this is a dumb question or one you think you've already answered with your thorough post, but can you elaborate a little more on which things above are the most significant differences between an SF and an NF? For example, what you mean when you say they talk to people in an an analytical way and have different ways of talking about people?


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

^ 
SFs can definitely be empathetic and compassionate. The difference that intuition makes is that both are felt and expressed differently. It seems to me that sensors tend to trust experience first and foremost, and have a harder time imagining things they have never felt/experienced first hand. However, they often have very practical and sound input on anything they have experienced. SFJs in particular seem to have a back catalog of everything that has ever happened to them or their friend or kid or whoever. It's like a big reference volume on the history of everyone they have ever met. I'm not sure how SFPs work...I'd guess that they somewhat accurately pick up on signals the person is displaying (ie. body language, tone of voice) and look for immediate solutions to make someone feel better in the moment. I notice they tend to draw on personal experience also.

Intuition works differently; it really enables you to put yourself in someone else's shoes, even if you've never experienced what the other person is going through or feeling. NFs also tend to trust theory over experience anyway. Many INFPs have reported friends coming to them for relationship advice when they have never been in a relationship, and their friends find their input very useful. The INFP doesn't necessarily need experience to draw on. The way I think we do this is through metaphorical application of our own feeling (Fi) and past experiences (Si). Ne can make some serious abstract connections between other people and ourselves, so that we can really feel what the person is describing (this doesn't mean we automatically know or read people - it's an understanding, not psychic ability). Of course, sometimes this does mean we are off the mark (theory can fail of course), but it's something we have a natural knack for. NFJs probably do something similar, but use Ni and Fe instead (NFJs can jump in and explain this if they want....). 

Intuition also allows NFs to see things from several perspectives, meaning they may be less negatively judgmental of feelings and behavior that are not the expected "norm". Not saying that SFs are judgmental, but I find they (in particular SFJs) have an idea of how things "should" be and allow that to limit their perspective at times. It makes them less prone to root for the underdog and the outcasts. SFPs seem to have a really hard time grasping anything they have never personally experienced. My ESFP sister dismisses anything hypothetical and says she has to experience something to learn anything. On the other hand, NFs can see so many perspectives and possibilities that they give people the benefit of the doubt to the point of being naive and overly idealistic.

Intuitive compassion usually comes out in the form of emotional healing, counseling, inspiring, motivating, etc, which is done with a long term, big picture view. Sometimes that means it is messy at first; in the case of the INFP Healer, we may rip off the metaphorical bandage so to speak and poke around a bit and apply a salve that stings, but in the end, you just might get better. Sensor compassion tends to be deeds to help people in immediate, practical ways (ie. making you soup when sick scenario). 


The difference in speaking about people boils down to analyzing or exchanging info/feelings. SFs will discuss what has happened, what is happening, and occasionally what might happen (based on the past or present), and how they feel about it. There is less discussion of WHY it has happened or future HOW it will happen. It also tends to be expressed in more literal and concrete terms. The conversation will follow a linear format that does not diverge into tangents as much - SFs often like to lead up to the point in chronological order, reflecting the way they experienced it. When discussing people, they like to relate anecdotes and past conversations (sometimes verbatim), or discuss current events in their life or the world.

NFs will talk about people in an almost conceptual way - an experience is something to be analyzed, feelings associated with it are to be examined, and global truths are to be gleamed from it. Exchanging ideas and perspectives is more important than facts and everyday events. We basically like to solve emotional puzzles. 

NFs want to know WHY and will be more future-oriented and universal in their conclusions (HOW does this apply universally so that I can make a theory applicable to similar future scenarios and thereby help people?). They will also use more metaphor, analogy, symbolism, and may speak in a more random manner, going off on tangents and then coming back around full circle. Often times, the main idea will be expressed immediately like a thesis, and then expounded on and explored, and then summarized for a conclusion. It's ordered by importance of the facts, not chronologically. 

And I'd like to end this by saying it is all generalization & my opinion, and that any type can exhibit behavior associated with another type. That's why an overall picture can be better than obsessing too much on details.


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## Tridentus (Dec 14, 2009)

im drawn to other NFs, i can just sense them.

they always have a similar world view to mine


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## Rustang (Dec 31, 2009)

________I*N*TUITIVE___________________________ *S*ENSOR
Go to the Himalayas and meditate____________ Go to Vegas and party.
Write the Great American Novel______________ Put the money in Chinese stocks.
Start a spiritual foundation to ________________Go whale fishing and eat tasty whale meat.
save the whales.
Invest in your pet scientific project.___________ Invest in a new wardrobe.
Take a seminar on how to elevate ____________Go wine tasting and elevate your mind that way.
your aura. 
Go back to school and get __________________Go back to school and get an MBA to make
a Masters in Psychology. _________________________more money.
Spend it on my passions. ___________________Save the winnings in a secure investments like CDS.



________*T*HINKER _____________________________*F*EELER
I was intrigued by the plot twists. ____________I was inspired by the beautiful relationships.
It was a well crafted movie. _________________I cried (or almost cried); it was touching.
The director and cinematographer were _______The music was beautiful and uplifting.
brilliant.
It entertained me. ________________________It inspired me.
The special effects were ___________________The deeper message of the film moved me.
outstanding.
It had Oscar worthy acting. ________________I could identify with the pain of the characters.
It made me think. ________________________It made me feel.



BY DR. ALEXANDER AVILA
2008, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED


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## Rustang (Dec 31, 2009)

The whole PDF it came from is here. http://www.fileden.com/files/2007/11/18/1592345/The_4_Magic_Questions_EREPORT_PDF.pdf
.
.
.


*DONE*. The Four Magic questions are posted in Test Resources. http://personalitycafe.com/personal...ic-questions-determine-someones-type-sly.html


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

Rustang said:


> The whole PDF it came from is here. http://www.fileden.com/files/2007/11/18/1592345/The_4_Magic_Questions_EREPORT_PDF.pdf


Oh no....not the Love Types author....that was my first intro to MBTI. I found the book on my sister's shelf and read it with curiosity as a teen. The test within determined me as an INTP, and the description made very upset, and I dismissed MBTI for many years afterwards. :blushed:

Having said that, I encourage you to post those "magic questions" as a separate thread for people to answer them (and let the analyzing begin!).
Edit to clarify: I think those questions are decent, and by them I actually would be determined INFP. It's the crappy test at the beginning of that book that determines me to be a Thinker.


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## HeartlySerious (Jan 2, 2010)

i do like to gossip. But usually not to put people down or backstab them, except for one exceptional case. Ahem, but, the gossips i dwells on are relationship gossips and why these two people don't see eye-to-eye and how it could be improve only if they knew this and that. I like to play cupid ^_^
Or how someone could be helped. But that's much more serious than gossips.


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## Ignus (Sep 30, 2009)

I think you can spot an NF of any type by kindness and a very firm unbreakable honor. The way an NF is different from a friendly SJ is that we are always tying to see things from the other person's perspective. We always want to do the right thing, but unlike an SJ who has decided beforehand what that is, an NF is constantly trying to find the right path towards conflict resolution.


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## Bluebird (Nov 29, 2009)

jozstyl said:


> An SF will say something like, "I can't stand that guy he's a jerk!" where as an NF will be more likely to say something like, "That guy is so mean. He is totally insecure and takes it out on everyone else!" We try to figure out WHY the guy is a jerk...it's not good enough to just know that he is.


That's what I've been doing throughout my life! Whenever i meet someone bad, I would always feel sorry for them and think up reasons of why the person is behavingt this way e.g. maybe he had a bad childhood and wasn't loved by anyone. ooo poor soul >_<


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## Repus (Feb 10, 2010)

You can hear it in their VOICE. The enthusiasm.

The way they walk. The way they talk. I always know intuitively when someones NF. I guess it's a built in radar since I know they'll eventually start asking me for dates.


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## Sedem (Mar 16, 2012)

isthatheidi said:


> The NF's I know are pretty universally passionate about music, exceptionally easy to talk to, and comfortable in their individuality. I'm trying to think of traits that could be observed by an outsider. There are other qualities, but those are more things that go on inside their heart or head, and might not be as easy to observe.


This fits most of the NTs I know :/, but I haven't read all the comments, so perhaps somebody has already said this?


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## chickydoda (Feb 12, 2010)

You see them gazing off into the distance...

They start giggling to themselves for no apparent reason.

I could probably be accused of both, haha!


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## CooCooCaCha (Apr 22, 2012)

I can tell and NF, quite honestly, from a certain spark in their eye. Not right away, but when one of us mentions something "Big." I posted on another thread about the way I can instantly tell an N from an S. There's a nuance, a subtlety, a "getting it." With an NF, I don't just feel that they get what I'm talking about, but that they empathize. It's almost like we're recognizing ourselves in each other. And there's a real relief and happiness. For example, a friend I did not know more than superficially were talking, and I mentioned how I felt after my freshman year in college, that I felt different from my old home friends and that I didn't quite belong, but that I also wasn't ready to accept my college friends as my new real friends, and that there was a limbo to it. Now, this is something that plenty of people might experience (and maybe she never felt exactly the way I did). But I didn't elaborate, and really kind of mumbled part of it, and she just looked me in the eye, at first looking a little surprised (that I'd tapped into something in her own head/soul), and then happy/ relieved (that there is an understanding/kinship/sameness that we share), and then wistful/melancholy (because it's tapping into a sadness). This has happened plenty of times, on dates, etc. It's unexpected every time, but the look always follows that progression, and I'm sure they can see the same thing in my eyes. 

An NT, we'll recognize each other, but on a more purely intellectual level. When I find an NF, there's a knowing look that we'll share by accident, by surprise. It's like those people in clubs who give their secret handshake out everywhere, never having it returned. And then once and a while they're shocked to feel the person whose hand their holding do the same thing. They weren't intentionally trying to see if that person was a fellow member. They just constantly, almost unthinkingly putting themselves out there, probing, searching for kinship, for a connection.

For that reason, I can only see myself getting really involved with another NF. I have great friends/relationships with all other types, and there are plenty of NFs I don't get along well with at all. But when I do find an NF I really hit it off with, friendship-wise/romantically/ even a teacher, it's just on this whole other explosive transcendent level with an NF.


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## Poptart (Jan 24, 2012)

OrangeAppled said:


> - like to talk to people _but in an analytical way_ - that last part is important, because an SF and an NF will often have very different ways of talking about people.


What you said here has prompted me to realize that this is true; there's a huge distinction between SF and NF styles of gossip. An SF may talk about what someone did and then laugh about it. An NF will mention what someone did and then go into an analysis of why they did it, among other things. This has been my experience with the ones I've known, at least.


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## CGonerko (Jul 14, 2013)

.


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## CGonerko (Jul 14, 2013)

Shadow1980 said:


> My department at work is almost all NF's. We talk about spiratual stuff, philosophy, and music constantly. We also are very protective of one another. It's pretty awesome.


Where do you work? Sounds like heaven


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## andyj (Oct 3, 2013)

CGonerko said:


> Where do you work? Sounds like heaven


Yep, it does doesn't it.... My work is all SJ. I don't know any Intuatives at all other than possible my current (working this out as I write) ENTP (maybe ENFP) boss. What type dominates where you work?


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## illow (Dec 23, 2012)

NF tend to see potential in everything...not just strictly people, but also in their business life, and investments. They 're more likely to find both sentimental and materialistic value in items, and have the confidence to be the first to invest in them...where as say an SJ would need a lot more consistencies and validation before they are even slightly interested. 

Just something to note.


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## knightingling (Oct 15, 2013)

Blue Butterfly said:


> INFP - usually dressed differently than others often inappropriately dressed. Usually complaining about about being hurt by someone. May appear to be very cold emotionally to the outside observer. Will get irritated if you talk to them to much or try to control them.
> 
> INFJ - Can be very quiet but when they do talk they usually go off an many different tangents. Often walks very upright with a straight back. Will reviel very little if anything personal about themselves.
> 
> ...


The INFP description fits my INFP friend so well. INFPs live in their insides so much, and as a result, may look cold and snobby from the outside.

I also agree that INFJs may seem quiet at first, but when they do talk, they_ won't stop talking_. The content of their speech may also seem quite unorganized and they usually stray from the main topic or have many segues (especially when engaged in verbal diarrhea); this is very unlike their writing style which usually has some kind of structure in it.


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## Giga Blender (May 22, 2012)

As far as our writing style we're free to analyze and rewrite it as often as we like. When it comes to speaking you can only speak once and within a finite window of expression or not at all and much as I love to claim I'm a fast thinker (intuitive leaps count about as much as taking illegal shortcuts in a race) I just do not do well when on the spot even if it is just natural conversation. For a lot of people I know they don't mind taking a few moments to think and come up with what they want to say. For me the world seems to move too slow, silence isn't good, I feel the need to respond immediately and trust my intuition most of the time to say the right thing. What really is going on though is I have no god damn idea what I want to say. There is no finite answer that I come to and consciously know, "this is what I'm going to say." It is muuuuch more like taking five different bottles of dye and shooting them out of an air cannon at a wall and trying to choose what to call the resulting color. Good luck.


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## jackitty (Jul 28, 2013)

Blue Butterfly said:


> INFP - usually dressed differently than others often inappropriately dressed. Usually complaining about about being hurt by someone. May appear to be very cold emotionally to the outside observer. Will get irritated if you talk to them to much or try to control them.
> 
> INFJ - Can be very quiet but when they do talk they usually go off an many different tangents. Often walks very upright with a straight back. Will reviel very little if anything personal about themselves.
> 
> ...


Can't say I agree with your assessment of the INFJ. I know I am very forthcoming about most things about me, and I believe this is actually an Fe trait. Vicky Jo wrote about the INFJ tendency to self-disclose as a way of connecting with other people here:

INFJ or INFP? a closer look

Of course there are certain things I will keep to myself but that's the same with most people.


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## Giga Blender (May 22, 2012)

jackitty said:


> Can't say I agree with your assessment of the INFJ. I know I am very forthcoming about most things about me, and I believe this is actually an Fe trait. Vicky Jo wrote about the INFJ tendency to self-disclose as a way of connecting with other people here:
> 
> INFJ or INFP? a closer look
> 
> Of course there are certain things I will keep to myself but that's the same with most people.


I was too tired to address it myself but I agree with this entirely. Anything that doesn't touch on my emotional-based self assessment and questioning my flaws I have no problem with telling others. I'm an open book in that regard. When people pry into the aforementioned bits though I get extremely uncomfortable and stop talking and/or cry. Most people I talk to bear their soul to me in less than a week of knowing me. I'd love to point out things that make us easy to notice but I really can't. In my experience people don't notice us for who we are, just what we do for them, and then when they've used us to their satisfaction they move on.


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