# What is the sexual theory behind the Electra complex and daddy issues/daddy complex?



## crystal19 (Feb 14, 2014)

If a girl has daddy issues she feels attracted both mentally and sexually to older men...but how does the sexual part happen? Girls don't want to have sex with their dads consciously. However, girls who do not have a daddy or one who is loving and supportive and emotionally fulfilling want a substitute older man, but are consciously sexually attracted to them.

Does the theory state that girls want to have sex with their real dads on an unconscious level? Or that the girl does not really want to have sex with the substitute dad but rather sex is a means to having an older man's approval and love/or a mental thing in these cases?

Can someone explain this inconsistency?


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## Jonn (Mar 17, 2014)

I'm not totally sure what you mean by this, though if I've understood correctly.
In case you've got daddy issues, you'll tend to find a "substitute" dad to teach you what your father never could.
It is like that with all people. Boys really need a father to teach them about life, girls do too, but not in the same way.

If you never had any dad (any grown man with experience) than you'll be seeking one, love is a very strange aspect of human behaviour, you'll be needing the love from your father figure and you'll be trying to share the love you have.

If you've taking this from a dream you've had, sexual attraction will at some point be the same as mutual love, meaning you wish to be able to love your father and to receive his love. Freud is odd, don't listen to him.


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

Why not ask the same question about men and the Oedipdus complex? Where a boy feels sexual desire towards his mother? Is there any evidence towards both of these theories?


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

Hmmm I think it's like a "savior" sexual attraction. If you don't have daddy issues then it's because you've been with your dad all your life. There is no "savior" aspect because you were never in a position of needing saving. Your dad was your teacher and protector. But if you had daddy issues you may be seeking somebody to not only be a teacher and protector for you, but also to relieve you from your troubles. The sexual attraction I think is born from pain.


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## 11thNight (Sep 2, 2012)

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Why not ask the same question about men and the Oedipdus complex? Where a boy feels sexual desire towards his mother? Is there any evidence towards both of these theories?


Pretty sure Freud coined the term Oedipus complex or at least championed the theory. Though he did have some good concepts, Freud was also a pervert. Early psychology and basically all of Freud's ideas were really all about theory with little to no research.

That said, back to the original question: is it reasonable to think if a woman has a difficult relationship with her father she might look to men similar to her father to get affirmation she never got from him? yes. If she happens to have romantic or sexual relationships with these men, does that mean she feels the same way about her father? no.

However, these relationships are likely to not be fulfilling because the person can't give you what you're really looking for, or worse that person picked as the replacement is likely to have many of the same flaws as the original.


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## PaladinX (Feb 20, 2013)

I was going to say that Freud was a crackpot, but apparently the Electra complex was contributed by Jung. :O

Electra complex - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


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## stiletto (Oct 26, 2013)

I have/had severe "daddy" issues (opposite the Daddy's Little Girl) and I can tell you that the Electra complex does not apply here. In fact the inverse happened. My husband, if I had to compare, is a great deal more similar to my mother than my father. I am actually the one that is more like my estranged father.

However, I have always love men who look older than the men around my age (no matter how old I am). In high school, I was attracted to university-aged looking men. In my late twenties now and I'm attracted to late 30's looking men. Men in their early twenties look like babies/teens to me. I don't attribute this to a daddy-issue though.


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## BlackDog (Jan 6, 2012)

I think it is less physical attraction specifically because of the 'daddy issue', but rather that sex plays an important role in the pursuit of approval. There are few ways to gain a man's attention and intimacy more fully than through sex. Most of these women have no idea they are (figuratively) dating their fathers.

This is assuming it is a daddy issue based on approval/attention seeking behaviour and not something deeper.


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## Watch Key Phone (Mar 29, 2013)

The Electra complex is just the inverse of the Oedipus complex. It does state that women unconsciously feel sexual attraction to their fathers.


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## OberonHuxley (Jun 2, 2013)

The issue is a matter of transference. Look up the word transference and you'll find the next key to your path.


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

after freuds paper on the Oedipus complex some jealous psychoanalysts basically felt out of the picture and came up with that one
both have been mocked [ and for good reason] since then and very few take it serious now


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## OberonHuxley (Jun 2, 2013)

vinniebob said:


> after freuds paper on the Oedipus complex some jealous psychoanalysts basically felt out of the picture and came up with that one
> both have been mocked [ and for good reason] since then and very few take it serious now



Freud was more envious of Jung than Jung of Freud.

Jung came up with the Oedipus complex that is used today..Freud's was obsolete...what would you expect from a cocaine riddled brain like Freuds.


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## OberonHuxley (Jun 2, 2013)

crystal19 said:


> If a girl has daddy issues she feels attracted both mentally and sexually to older men...but how does the sexual part happen? Girls don't want to have sex with their dads consciously. However, girls who do not have a daddy or one who is loving and supportive and emotionally fulfilling want a substitute older man, but are consciously sexually attracted to them.
> 
> Does the theory state that girls want to have sex with their real dads on an unconscious level? Or that the girl does not really want to have sex with the substitute dad but rather sex is a means to having an older man's approval and love/or a mental thing in these cases?
> 
> Can someone explain this inconsistency?



Let me give you the rundown here...a clear perspective so to speak.

The electra/oedipus complex is not about wanting to sleep with your father or mother, although for some it manifests this way. Rather...it is more likely you are fighting for the attention of the opposite sex parent. This eventually manifests for the males feeling like they need to outperform their fathers in their careers and the women needing to marry further up on the chain than their mothers but as the sociopolitical scene changes and gender equality is approached we can expect for women to probably want to surpase their mothers in careers since women have careers now.

Back when psychoanalytical theory was being developed women did not usually have careers so they competed in terms of marriage...trying to marry richer, better looking, or whatever it was they were into than their mothers.

The reasons this happens is transference...a person cannot help but transfer over their initial experience with the opposite sex, and even same sex, among other things too...without becoming somewhat introspective.

I would look up transference...that's the main issue in most cases regarding everything...where we put emotions into a relationship that don't belong there or project some sort of thing which is unjustified.

The oedipus/electra complex is one example of transference so by tackling transference you can tackle more issues too.


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