# Confession: i sometimes wish i married a tradcon, not a feminist.



## Queen of Cups (Feb 26, 2010)

A lot of what we are dealing with now is stagnant wages not work ethic


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## Queen of Cups (Feb 26, 2010)

Honestly, of all the things I’ve been accused of in my lifetime lazy has never been in there.


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## Dalien (Jul 21, 2010)

daleks_exterminate said:


> Sorry, i skimmed this, because it seemed unnecessarily racist and shitty. Could you do a too long, didn't read of your point in one sentence? Thanks.


I thanked that post at first, but came back and re-read and un-thanked it. Then I read your post and yeah it seems a bit off—I’m thinking it was stated in a not so very well manner and not meaning such a negative thing. We shall see though.


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## thedazzlingdexter (12 mo ago)

daleks_exterminate said:


> Sorry, i skimmed this, because it seemed unnecessarily racist and shitty. Could you do a too long, didn't read of your point in one sentence? Thanks.


It seemed that way becuase you didnt read it. If you can not be bothered to read and so become offended thats kind of on you.


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## thedazzlingdexter (12 mo ago)

CountZero said:


> Heck, I just put in 60 hours at the salt mine last week. Whatcha talking about?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I find that respectable.


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## thedazzlingdexter (12 mo ago)

Queen of Cups said:


> A lot of what we are dealing with now is stagnant wages not work ethic


I agree but simply giving up on everything isnt gonna fix it either.


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## Queen of Cups (Feb 26, 2010)

thedazzlingdexter said:


> I agree but simply giving up on everything isnt gonna fix it either. Even if the system is broken making yourself suffer and mocking others who try to do better isnt fixing the problem.


Is this a general observation or something you see us doing in this thread?


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## thedazzlingdexter (12 mo ago)

Queen of Cups said:


> Is this a general observation or something you see us doing in this thread?


Sorry if it derailed a thread. It was more dissapionted with general culture shift and seems like in general things just seem to be declining. This thread was also highlighting the shift in cultures in general. I more annoyed with my generation as a whole that many of has just given up under the idea "It gets you no where so why try". Was more off handed comment.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

daleks_exterminate said:


> My husband constantly is enjoyable to spend time with, we have similar values and ideas and it's been over 6 years of marriage and yet sometimes... I find myself occasionally day dreaming about what life would be life had I married a tradcon.
> 
> You may be asking yourself "why"? Since he's so wonderful, but you see that's just it.... He's so wonderful. I have zero desire to do obnoxious mean shit to. Zero. My husband is a saint. I want to make his life better and make him happy and feel loved and supported everyday.
> 
> ...


So basically, you want him to be the dom and you'll be the sub?


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## daleks_exterminate (Jul 22, 2013)

tanstaafl28 said:


> So basically, you want him to be the dom and you'll be the sub?


No.


Just want an outlet to troll in a way i don't feel like an asshole for doing it. Lol


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

daleks_exterminate said:


> No.
> 
> 
> Just want an outlet to troll in a way i don't feel like an asshole for doing it. Lol


The whole point of being a troll is that you're an asshole dropping verbal bombs in order to shake up peoples' worldviews and force them to defend them.


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## SilentScream (Mar 31, 2011)

.


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## CountZero (Sep 28, 2012)

tanstaafl28 said:


> The whole point of being a troll is that you're an asshole dropping verbal bombs in order to shake up peoples' worldviews and force them to defend them.


For a few trolls, I'm sure this is true. Most of them just seem like assholes to me, whose only outlet and source of joy is to tear people down. Schadenfreude given human form (er, trollish form?)

Hmm, don't mean to hijack a joke thread, but I'll stand by my statement nonetheless...


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

CountZero said:


> For a few trolls, I'm sure this is true. Most of them just seem like assholes to me, whose only outlet and source of joy is to tear people down. Schadenfreude given human form (er, trollish form?)
> 
> Hmm, don't mean to hijack a joke thread, but I'll stand by my statement nonetheless...


Aw hell, I live for different points of view.


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## CountZero (Sep 28, 2012)

tanstaafl28 said:


> Aw hell, I live for different points of view.


Actually so do I. I just find it much easier to handle respectful debate than trolling. I prefer to approach it as an opportunity to possibly expand my worldview, and maybe someone else's too. Insulting people or being disrespectful is huge turn off for me, and I find that it hinders my goal. Flies and honey, and all that jazz.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

CountZero said:


> Actually so do I. I just find it much easier to handle respectful debate than trolling. I prefer to approach it as an opportunity to possibly expand my worldview, and maybe someone else's too. Insulting people or being disrespectful is huge turn off for me, and I find that it hinders my goal. Flies and honey, and all that jazz.


Much more compatible with lifelong learning. Of course, if the other person is a dick about it, I'll start to infuriate them with nitpicky logic.


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## CountZero (Sep 28, 2012)

tanstaafl28 said:


> Much more compatible with lifelong learning. Of course, if the other person is a dick about it, I'll start to infuriate them with nitpicky logic.


LOL I usually refuse to escalate, but will sometimes keep engaging, when people are being asshats. They either chill out pretty quickly or get really, really frustrated that I'm not taking the bait. Kinda funny to watch.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I married a tradcon as it was labeled. I would say he did not start out initially that extreme. It grew overtime. For one nation wide social/political division was not as extreme back then on either side. As time went on and more and more became extremely divided he started to shift far right. Not that I support that, I do not. I do not really relate to extreme radicalization left or right though.

I'd imagine I was heavily influenced subconsciously by already having a daughter (and her dad in prison). I recognize most people here like to hold choices of 18 yr olds over everyones heads. Anyways I did not consciously know at 22 yrs old when I got married how subconsciously I was being influenced to mistake a traditional mindset, with comfort or security.

I felt very grateful initially thinking my children would have wholesome upbringings. This is not something I ever had. I grew up around alotta adults partying constant. Parents that lost track of and forgot about children.

So if I mistook what was more initially mild traditional values as a place where I found a sense of security, having never had security in my life. I guess it makes sense. In retrospect I can see the situation for what it was. As far as mistaking things etc.

I'd never wish what I went through in that relationship on anyone. Or even the constant passive aggressive berating that has taken place subtly over the years after. Like being demeaned in front of my kids called names like: Bitch, Crazy, etc etc Over simple things like saying 'Do not drink and drive'. So even after I left it has been a fight. Let alone paying the pied piper, and having my nose rubbed in it. Any wrong choices I made, I have paid for twice over.

I like you Daleks. I think you are clever, and highly intelligent. I'm glad you are fortunate to have been able to marry the right person. I do think you are cool. And I think you probably meant this as a slam at MRAs. I think/would hope?



tanstaafl28 said:


> The whole point of being a troll is that you're an asshole dropping verbal bombs in order to shake up peoples' worldviews and force them to defend them.


The whole fist bump verbal bombs thought stated here. Uh I'd never wish for anyone to have the shit beat out of them for years, and have to choose to be homeless or have the shit beat out of them, and work insane hours to recover. The hell? Glad it is amusing. Thanks for the enlightenment on world views my holy master.


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## daleks_exterminate (Jul 22, 2013)

0.M.I.A.0 said:


> I married a tradcon as it was labeled. I would say he did not start out initially that extreme. It grew overtime. For one nation wide social/political division was not as extreme back then on either side. As time went on and more and more became extremely divided he started to shift far right. Not that I support that, I do not. I do not really relate to extreme radicalization left or right though.
> 
> I'd imagine I was heavily influenced subconsciously by already having a daughter (and her dad in prison). I recognize most people here like to hold choices of 18 yr olds over everyones heads. Anyways I did not consciously know at 22 yrs old when I got married how subconsciously I was being influenced to mistake a traditional mindset, with comfort or security.
> 
> ...


Oh god I'm so sorry, no this was 100% not a diss at you or anyone else who did marry someone in this category! The appeal for your kids growing up with stability when that's not something you've known makes complete sense. I don't hold people responsible for the decisions they make when they're young and also am not very left or right right myself. This was just meant to be a thread pointing out some issues with 'traditional values' and how they may be fun to troll, but that's really it.

I don't like that you feel like you've had to pay several times for choices you made so young or that people disrespect you for what... Being the parent that chose to stay and step up for the kids? You're strong as fuck, and I really like you too and think you're cool. No, zero judgment or disrespect to you whatsoever.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

daleks_exterminate said:


> Oh god I'm so sorry, no this was 100% not a diss at you or anyone else who did marry someone in this category! The appeal for your kids growing up with stability when that's not something you've known makes complete sense. I don't hold people responsible for the decisions they make when they're young and also am not very left or right right myself. This was just meant to be a thread pointing out some issues with 'traditional values' and how they may be fun to troll, but that's really it.
> 
> I don't like that you feel like you've had to pay several times for choices you made so young or that people disrespect you for what... Being the parent that chose to stay and step up for the kids? You're strong as fuck, and I really like you too and think you're cool. No, zero judgment or disrespect to you whatsoever.


I appreciate that clarity. I did not view or see you as ill intended person that did mean it rude. I need to stress that. That was why I made sure to say I did not think/hope so. I do think incredibly highly of you! You are WAY intelligent. I am definitely smart enough to recognize that you are highly intelligent. And I do believe kind too. Thank You 💜 Ok well now that I checked, and maybe placed my foot slightly in my mouth due to the subject being more personal for me. By all means keep on railing em with a train. Or hit em with a bus. I think next time I will just PM ya if I have a confusion in my perception, lol. I am sorry for insulting your intention. Which maybe I did with Tanslaf too.


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## daleks_exterminate (Jul 22, 2013)

0.M.I.A.0 said:


> I appreciate that clarity. I did not view or see you as ill intended person that did mean it rude. I need to stress that. That was why I made sure to say I did not think/hope so. I do think incredibly highly of you! You are WAY intelligent. I am definitely smart enough to recognize that you are highly intelligent. And I do believe kind too. Thank You 💜 Ok well now that I checked, and maybe placed my foot slightly in my mouth due to the subject being more personal for me. By all means keep on railing em with a train. Or hit em with a bus. I think next time I will just PM ya if I have a confusion in my perception, lol. I am sorry for insulting your intention. Which maybe I did with Tanslaf too.


No worries, it's hard out there. I've legit seen people praise single dad's for shit they shame single moms for (now that I'm older I call that shit out), and i don't understand that at all. Idk if you know who Katherine Ryan is, but she's a comedian, and a single mom and this is super true:


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## Queen of Cups (Feb 26, 2010)

tanstaafl28 said:


> The whole point of being a troll is that you're an asshole dropping verbal bombs in order to shake up peoples' worldviews and force them to defend them.


unfortunately, this often comes with a whole lot of racism sexism and general fuckery. I can have my worldview challenged without being told the only thing I bring to my marriage is my vagina, being called queen of fake tits, having my children called half breeds, and having my husband insulted.


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## Queen of Cups (Feb 26, 2010)

I’ve been both slut and virgin shamed by the same poster. 😂


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## Queen of Cups (Feb 26, 2010)

daleks_exterminate said:


> No worries, it's hard out there. I've legit seen people praise single dad's for shit they shame single moms for (now that I'm older I call that shit out), and i don't understand that at all. Idk if you know who Katherine Ryan is, but she's a comedian, and a single mom and this is super true:


Remember what Ali Wong said about the bar being so low to be considered a good dad, and the bar being so low for being a shitty mom.
My husband would get praised for the same things I would get vilified for.
And don’t even get me started on the idea of dad‘s “babysitting” their own damn kids.

I was talking to some people because I’m getting ready to go to Savannah for about a week and someone had the audacity to ask me who was watching my kids while I’m gone. Who the hell do you think is watching our kids while I’m gone?

And this is keeping in mind that my kids are 20,18,15 and 9. But the answer would be the same even when they were smaller


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

After I had the day to think about it, I actually like this thread. I think I am even incidentally a good case and point for the oppression OP is illustrating. Even if I was wondering somethings, and questioning.


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## Charlie Oh (Sep 20, 2021)

daleks_exterminate said:


> My husband constantly is enjoyable to spend time with, we have similar values and ideas and it's been over 6 years of marriage and yet sometimes... I find myself occasionally day dreaming about what life would be life had I married a tradcon.
> 
> You may be asking yourself "why"? Since he's so wonderful, but you see that's just it.... He's so wonderful. I have zero desire to do obnoxious mean shit to. Zero. My husband is a saint. I want to make his life better and make him happy and feel loved and supported everyday.
> 
> ...


I know this is tic, tic, dok(Doctor Who?) tic(tongue in cheek) but I couldn't help responding in kind(tic, not sic) You are getting in touch with your inner bitch. Men come home from work and kick the dog, why can't women get off some repressed aggression on the other pet in the room. No need to go all Lorena and Bob his fleshy appendage, bobbit, bobbit. not a hobbit.


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## AnneINTJ (11 mo ago)

daleks_exterminate said:


> My husband constantly is enjoyable to spend time with, we have similar values and ideas and it's been over 6 years of marriage and yet sometimes... I find myself occasionally day dreaming about what life would be life had I married a tradcon.
> 
> You may be asking yourself "why"? Since he's so wonderful, but you see that's just it.... He's so wonderful. I have zero desire to do obnoxious mean shit to. Zero. My husband is a saint. I want to make his life better and make him happy and feel loved and supported everyday.
> 
> ...


MMMMMMMM! All this food looks so good! My S.O. is a wonderful cook, and I plan on keeping him!


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## AnneINTJ (11 mo ago)

Queen of Cups said:


> There’s a reason those things are called aspics
> Emphasis on the ass
> 
> I’m more a candle salad fan:
> View attachment 904401


That reminds me of a non-food item to "chew" on!


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