# Super-sensitive INTJ, or mistyped?



## DistantNebula (Apr 10, 2011)

OK, so there's another thread around here somewhere where I was basically definitively typed as (and accepted as my type) INTJ, mostly on the strength of the cognitive functions. The thing is, the things I mentioned as qualms back then, have continued to cause my doubts to persist. Namely, that I am extremely sensitive, and also rather driven by my emotions. On cognitive function tests, I tend to test strongest for Fi and Ni (in that order), followed at some distance by Te and then by a bunch of other things. 

I was in an INTJ forum somewhere else, in particular, and got butthurt about some topic. The thread thereupon became a thread about whether I was an INTJ or not (mind you, I didn't ask to be typed; some people just took it upon themselves to question my type). One person in particular said I didn't argue logically and that, based upon that and upon something I had said about wanting 'unconditional love' from a partner, I must be either an INFJ or INFP. (THere were also some people defending my typing as an INTJ.) 

It does seem to be the case that I am way more sensitive and emotional than most INTJs that I run across in fora. I'm pretty sure that my preferred functions are Ni, Fi, and Te, but if I'm misunderstanding the distinction between Ni and Ne alone, then that would probably clear everything up (by making me an INFP).

So, can anyone help me? I'll be filling out the type questionnaire shortly--I don't think I did that the first time around.


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## Ludi (Dec 25, 2011)

Pray do publish your answers.


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## Paradigm (Feb 16, 2010)

Didn't you help me in my 2011 thread? I just made a new one, too, last month maybe  I got retyped as an INTJ again.

I don't have any help for you, really. But like you, I get "butthurt" by NTs a lot. Think it's the Internet subculture wanting to look super smart and badass. I just dealt with it by avoiding the Keirsey forums. They didn't offer much except stereotypes, and I'm not one. Which isn't to say the theory is bad, but the people who use it are annoying. (Not just NTs, ftr.)

You might want to look into the Enneagram. A large reason why I don't fit the INTJ stereotype is because I'm a 6w7 ("the buddy," though I never ever call myself that ever). You might have a similar thing going on. The common e-types (imo i guess) for INTJ is 1, 3, 5, and 6w5. You could be something else entirely!


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## DistantNebula (Apr 10, 2011)

*1) What aspect of your personality made you unsure of your type?*
It's mostly the emotional aspect. The distinction between feeling and thinking has caused me no end of difficulty in that which concerns the MBTI. I think the other distinctions are fairly straightforward (although J and P can be a little fuzzy as concerns intuitives). In some ways, I am very emotional. My actions are driven by emotion, in the sense that I do things that I like doing, or because I want to do them, or because they will make me feel better or nicer somehow. I don't understand what it would mean to do something for 'logical' reasons alone. Logic alone does not give you a reason. Logic only gives you an understanding of the proper means by which to achieve a goal, not the goal itself. Now, while I am very emotional on the inside, I am outwardly rather cold. I never cry; I am very emotionally undemonstrative; I don't particularly like dealing with others' emotional demonstrativeness or emotional problems either. 

* 2) What do you yearn for in life? Why?*
Love (and I mean specifically romantic love), as trite as that sounds. Someone who loves me unconditionally, understands me and accepts me. One thing that was going on in the INTJ thread was that people were talking about how they would choose their partners based on whether they had certain skills, which makes no sense to me at all. Other than that, security (financial and otherwise), and a chance to do some job that I find intellectually rewarding and that produces something useful, and hopefully that I can do alone, in isolation. When I say 'useful', that doesn't exclude pure science that at first seems useless (like dealing with synthetic elements or exoplanets or whatnot). 

* 3) Think about a time where you felt like you were at your finest. Tell us what made you feel that way.*
I think I feel at my finest when I have written something that is particularly beautiful and profound, or (not to sound too full of myself) that is as beautiful and as profound as I can produce at any rate. This doesn't happen very often. I write a lot, and I always like the feeling of having written something that I think is worth reading. 

* 4) What makes you feel inferior?*
Being uncreative, above all. When I am unable to produce something of intellectual or imaginative value. 

* 5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.)*
I don't really think about people (other than myself). I think about pros and cons, and about how I feel about it. I will make up a list of pros and cons, think about what will happen in all the possible eventualities, and think about how I feel about each of those eventualities. This can lead to a lot of indecisiveness. 

* 6) When working on a project what is normally your emphasis? Do you like to have control of the outcome?*
Control of the outcome? If we're talking about a group project, yes, I would either like control of the outcome or to be as little involved as possible. At least, I think so; it's fortunately been a long time since I've been on a group project. But I would like to be aware that everyone is accomplishing some task that will contribute towards the end result in a timely fashion, and I would like, if possible, to be able to keep tabs on everyone to make sure they're doing it. In general about a project, I am very tense until I know that everything will work out (and even to some extent until everything has worked out). 

* 7) Describe us a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it?*
My happiest memories are in beautiful oldish cities by the sea, or in more natural places by the sea. I enjoy these places' beauty, and the vastness and regularity of the ocean. 

* 8) When you want to learn something new, what feels more natural for you? (Are you more prone to be hands on, to theorize, to memorize, etc)*
I like to talk out loud to myself (this was a problem when I was living in a dorm with a roommate), to connect everything that I have to learn into a coherent theory. That works better than memorising random bits of information, which I find tedious. I don't really need to be hands-on, except sometimes I also learn better what's in a book if I write out some key passages (or write out paraphrases of them) in the margins.

* 9) How organized do you to think of yourself as?*
I'd like to be organised, and I like being in an environment that has been pre-organised for me. Places left to me to keep up quickly degenerate into disorganisation however. Not the kind where I know where everything is, either. I am forever looking for things (like a pen, my flashstick, a piece of paper) in my own flat. 

* 10) How do you judge new ideas? You try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense or do you look for information that supports it?*
I do both, but I _think_ that my initial judgement of an idea is based on whether I think it's supported by external information (as well as, and perhaps more so, by what my instinctive reaction to it is). A little hard for me to say, since I think I know what this question is getting at.  I do point out logical inconsistencies with ideas or arguments that I disagree with.

* 11) You find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself?*
I belong to almost no groups, and those that I do belong to, I am not the one who makes sure everyone is doing fine. If people are disharmonious, I pretty much let them have it out with one another and stay out of it (unless I have a strong opinion one way or the other, in which case I might take part). I'm talking about online; in real life I am a hermit. THe short answer is, the latter. 

* 12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions?*
I think before I speak, and prefer one-on-one communication. 

* 13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words?*
I like to look before leaping. Yes, I think actions speak more than words. I pay attention to what people say to me, but if their actions belie what they say, I trust their actions (for example, if they say they like me but then act in such a way as to seem to dislike me or be indifferent to me). 

* 14) It's Saturday. You're at home, and your favorite show is about to start. Your friends call you for a night out. What will you do?*
friends? 

Well, I used to have friends, and actually, sometimes, I would go out with *one *friend, if I'm in the mood for company. Or I might just stay in. It really depends. 'Night out', in this case, does not mean going to a night club. It basically just means a night of one-on-one interaction somewhere. 

* 15) How do you act when you're stressed out?*
I tend to withdraw from whatever I'm doing and go online or go for a walk outdoors. I'll talk to myself a lot too, about what I should do to get out of the stressful situation and to make sure all the eventualities are covered.

* 16) What makes you dislike the personalities of some people?*
Arrogance (one thing about INTJ descriptions that puts me off is that INTJs are supposed to be arrogant) puts me off very much. Also intrusiveness and lack of respect. People who intrude into my life and try to know everything about me, and then condescend to me, belittle my ideas or the motives behind my actions (I can give an example of this if this sounds unclear, but I'd rather not I suppose--hopefully you're getting the idea?). To a lesser extent, lack of understanding and compassion. 

* 17) Is there anything you really like talking about with other people?*
I like talking about philosophy, literature, ideas, that kind of stuff. If I'm talking with a certain someone my conversational style gets very twee, emotional and needy.

* 18) What kind of things do pay the least attention to in your life?*
My physical environment, I think. 

* 19) How do your friends perceive you? What is wrong about their perception? ? What would your friends never say about your personality ?*
Hm, one person described me as cold. But another one described me as warm. I think it depends on whether I like the person or not (the first person was annoying me ). Hm, this is a hard one because I have so few friends, and because I don't talk to them about their perception of me anyway. I think they would probably all say that I'm intelligent. 

Come to think of it, at one point, the person who described me as cold also said that I was unsupportive and critical. He lashed out at me for that, actually, which I thought was unfair, because I was simply trying to point out some difficulties in a certain project that he was proposing (I'd have to go into some details to clarify that, but again hopefully you're getting the idea?).

* 20) You got a whole day to do whatever you like. What kind of activities do you feel like doing? *
I think I'd feel like reading books or watching films. I'd resist the urge to just go online all day. If I lived in a place by the ocean, I might go down there and walk around for a bit.


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## DistantNebula (Apr 10, 2011)

Ah, maybe. Your name seems familiar.

I might make an enneagram post too. I'm either a 5w4 or a 4w5. As usual, it's hard for me to tell, and of course very few INTJs are 4s (or vice versa). Intrinsically, I feel more like a 4, I identify a lot with the feelings of shame and envy, and with the phenomenon of withdrawal, but on the other hand I'm not very comfortable with emotional expression. The description for sexual five fitted me better than that for either sexual 4 (competitive, prone to hatred) or self-preservation 4 (reckless and daunting).


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## Ludi (Dec 25, 2011)

DistantNebula said:


> Hm, one person described me as cold. But another one described me as warm. I think it depends on whether I like the person or not (the first person was annoying me ). Hm, this is a hard one because I have so few friends, and because I don't talk to them about their perception of me anyway. I think they would probably all say that I'm intelligent.


Hm...yes, I see. 

Do you enjoy the sea because...your inner world is much like it, unpredictable, large and willful...or is your mind more like a quaint little room stuffed with the things you love most unconditionally?

Also...what is the best for you...the exercise of writing per se, the feeling that goes with it...or being read and being appreciated by the public at large?

Please give us the example for 16).


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## DistantNebula (Apr 10, 2011)

Oh, and just as another thing, in the context of a relationship, what's most important to me is love, understanding, acceptance and affection. Just because I think this was initially one of the things that was striking the (other) INTJs as strange.


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## DistantNebula (Apr 10, 2011)

Ludi said:


> Hm...yes, I see.
> 
> Do you enjoy the sea because...your inner world is much like it, unpredictable, large and willful...or is your mind more like a quaint little room stuffed with the things you love most unconditionally?
> 
> Also...what is the best for you...the exercise of writing per se, the feeling that goes with it...or being read and being appreciated by the public at large?


TO first question, I think the former. Although my mind is like that, to a certain extent.

To the second question, I would say the former, although it is nice if a person whose judgement I respect appreciates it.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

@DistantNebula
don't believe that "Feelers are sensitive; Thinkers are cold" BS. I'm an ENFP and about as sensitive as a komodo dragon


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## DistantNebula (Apr 10, 2011)

OK, so in #16, here's what I was talking about:

I got in a little quarrel with someone online because I felt he was condescending to me by taking a very harsh, commanding tone in response to a bit of self-pity I had posted. (this was a quarrel by p.m., not on a thread.) Then he said something implying I was pathetic for not being able to get over someone I had never met in real life.


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## Ludi (Dec 25, 2011)

DistantNebula said:


> TO first question, I think the former. Although my mind is like that, to a certain extent.
> 
> To the second question, I would say the former, although it is nice if a person whose judgement I respect appreciates it.


In short, you are definitely an INF type. But INFPs may have strong Ni...and INFJs, a strong Fi.

What function do you most identify with: Ni or Fi? In other words, which function would override the other, most of the time?

The ocean metaphor relates to the Ni...whereas an isolated room filled with things you most unconditionally value relates more to Fi.


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## viva (Aug 13, 2010)

Yeah dawg I'm pretty sure you're an NF. Of what variety, I'm not sure.


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## DistantNebula (Apr 10, 2011)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> @_DistantNebula_
> don't believe that "Feelers are sensitive; Thinkers are cold" BS. I'm an ENFP and about as sensitive as a komodo dragon


Interesting; I know a rather sensitive EN*T*P. I think you're right.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

DistantNebula said:


> Interesting; I know a rather sensitive EN*T*P. I think you're right.


that said, I think there is a correlation with strong Fe users being more sensitive (in that sense, I think many ENTPs are more sensitive than ENFPs, so it makes sense that your ENTP friend would be somewhat sensitive. I also know an ENTP who is far more sensitive than I am)


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## DistantNebula (Apr 10, 2011)

Ludi said:


> In short, you are definitely an INF type. But INFPs may have strong Ni...and INFJs, a strong Fi.
> 
> What function do you most identify with: Ni or Fi? In other words, which function would override the other, most of the time?
> 
> The ocean metaphor relates to the Ni...whereas an isolated room filled with things you most unconditionally value relates more to Fi.


Well, this is the problem with the two INF types, is that what you're saying doesn't work with the theory. I assume you think the classical functions theory is wrong then--and why so?

I identify more with Ni than with Fi (and more with the ocean metaphor than with the other thing).


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## DistantNebula (Apr 10, 2011)

I'm definitely introverted.


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## DistantNebula (Apr 10, 2011)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> that said, I think there is a correlation with strong Fe users being more sensitive (in that sense, I think many ENTPs are more sensitive than ENFPs, so it makes sense that your ENTP friend would be somewhat sensitive. I also know an ENTP who is far more sensitive than I am)


Interesting. Aren't INFPs reputed to be the most sensitive type? The INFJs I've met in fora actually seem rather thick-skinned, although that's a small sample size.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

DistantNebula said:


> Interesting. Aren't INFPs reputed to be the most sensitive type?


haven't heard that, though, in the case of INFP, I think it's more frustration of not knowing what to do, how to respond in the external world, how to voice their opinion in real time and how to make their ideals a reality. Fe users on the other hand would likely be more sensitive to external stimuli they deemed as hurtful, sad or offensive. INFPs care less about these things and tend to ignore them.



> The INFJs I've met in fora actually seem rather thick-skinned, although that's a small sample size.


true (INFJs confuse the hell out of me. they seem like a cross between an ISFJ, an INTJ and an INTP with some ENFJ thrown in too)


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## elixare (Aug 26, 2010)

DistantNebula said:


> On cognitive function tests, I tend to test strongest for Fi and Ni (in that order), followed at some distance by Te and then by a bunch of other things.


Based on this, you could be an ISFP in an Fi-Ni loop....or if you're an INTJ, then you'd be in Ni-Fi loop....Either way, that's not a state you'd wanna be in for a long time, and I'd say go extrovert for a bit

Unless of course you're confusing Ni and Ne in which case you'd be an INFP and is perfectly normal...In that case, my suggestion is go do some research and figure out the difference so that you'll know for sure....There should be plenty of threads about this....Use the search function and/or google it


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## Helios (May 30, 2012)

I think you're an INTJ with really developed Fi. You don't seem like a strong Fe or Ne user which rules out INFP and INFJ. I'm not sure about your Se preference but ISFP could work too I guess.

But remember, just because you don't fit the stereotypical INTJ role, doesn't mean that you're any less INTJ. You don't have to be a robot or anything. Good luck figuring out your type.


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