# Which types are the most hated parents



## Killionaire (Oct 13, 2009)

If you have 1 or 2 parents you hated, what type were they and why?

I had an ISTJ father who was a giant a*hole. He had low self esteem and badmouthed lots of people to
try to feel like he was better than them. He severely criticized, insulted, demeaned, and disrespected me. 
He never said one good word about me. He terrorized me and made my life hell. He only had gone to elementary school and worked in a factory. He was always looking for any excuse to badmouth me and scream at me. He complained about me not respecting him, which was crazy because he's the one who disrespected me. One day I finally punched his face 3 times and knocked his ass the f* out. 

My mother was an ESTJ. She disapproved of toys and wouldn't buy me any. She only believed in school and work. She didn't care about or recognize my feelings. She acted like my feelings didn't exist and my happiness didn't matter. She didn't go to my band & orchestra concerts except for the 1st one. She didn't go to my junior high graduation. She thought her job was more important. Virtually everyone else's parents went to these things. I didn't get nurtured at all. 

I hate both of them. Pretty much nothing but hate. Cold hearted, mean, unsupportive, stupid bastards.


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## zynthaxx (Aug 12, 2009)

That's a useless question.
a) Each type differs when it comes to values
b) Individuals within each type differ in values
c) Many people haven't developed fully even as adults, and will show immature behavior in some or many areas of their lives. This behavior is, in a way, type related, but it's not what you'd generally expect from a person of a given type.
d) It's silly to diss an entire type based on the behavior of one individual. Based on your post, I could say that all INTJs must be whiners, and you'd likely call all ISTPs assholes after reading this reply.

So vent if you want to vent, but please skip the typist crap.


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## Narcotic (Jun 20, 2012)

What he said.


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## Blazy (Oct 30, 2010)

^ Nah, this is totally a legit question. Just keep the whole thread under control. No need to immediately accuse him or this thread of being typist. It's typist if you make it typist. Let's see where this thread goes and which options people actually pick. 

My ISTJ friend told me (while drunk) that he hated his ISTP father so much to the point where he absolutely destroyed his father's fortune in the stock market, resulting in the loss of thousands of $$$.


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## GENIUSandVIOLENCE (Oct 6, 2012)

I think it probably depends on the types of the parents and the children, and also individual factors. I don't think any one type is the worst parent. A child may not be suited to their parents' parenting style, resulting in poor development and psychological/emotional problems. In that case, tough luck you were born from those parents, deal with it. But also, not all ESTJ parents disapprove of toys. There are probably ESTJ people out there who adore buying toys for their kids. And not all ISTJ parents badmouth people or have had only elementary education.

Don't hate on certain types because of personal experience. One needs to differentiate between what is type, and what is someone's own trait. You can't group everyone of the same type into one kind of person. That's not really how MBTI works, or any other psychological model. I would believe that if two people of the same type were subject to the exact same environment throughout their lives, that they would end up being very similar people. But that's not the case. What defines a person has a lot to do with nuture, not just nature.

For me, I have an ISTP father and an ISFP mother. I'm not close with my father, though we do share a lot of personality similarities (hello, Ti). I don't really get my mother's way of perceiving the world. My grandmother's an ISFJ and we certainly don't understand each other or get along well, though she loves me more than anything in the world. Grandpa's an IxTJ, I'm tempted to say INTJ, and we're... eh. Okay. He's stubborn, but he's been through a lot. I also have friends of the same types. My boyfriend's an ISTP and he's wonderful, I have an ISFP and INTJ friend that I'm good with. So it's not just type. Generational and cultural differences make a huge impact on a person's personality.


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## zynthaxx (Aug 12, 2009)

Wh1zkey said:


> ^ Nah, this is totally a legit question. Just keep the whole thread under control. No need to immediately accuse him or this thread of being typist. It's typist if you make it typist. Let's see where this thread goes and which options people actually pick.


Sorry if I came off as trying to make him shut up by calling his post typist, that wasn't my intention. @GENIUSandVIOLENCE wrote pretty much what I meant with a bit more finesse and eloquence.


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## Blazy (Oct 30, 2010)

zynthaxx said:


> Sorry if I came off as trying to make him shut up by calling his post typist, that wasn't my intention. @GENIUSandVIOLENCE wrote pretty much what I meant with a bit more finesse and eloquence.


Good, I'm glad we're on the same page then.


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## xlr8r (Aug 14, 2013)

I agree with the previous comments (while wondering if these strong family experiences are the main factor for forming our type).


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## zynthaxx (Aug 12, 2009)

xlr8r said:


> (while wondering if these strong family experiences are the main factor for forming our type).


It certainly is important in the formation of a personality, but I don't think it's relevant to actual type: My parents are INTJ+INFP, and we "kids" are INTP, ISTP, ISFP and ISTJ respectively, so there's really no common denominator for our types. But our expressions of our respective types is definitely shaped by our experiences growing up, in combination with the tendencies each of us has when it comes to how we deal with positive and negative experiences.


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## entheos (Aug 18, 2013)

Killionaire said:


> had low self esteem and badmouthed lots of people to
> try to feel like he was better than them. He severely criticized, insulted, demeaned, and disrespected me.
> He never said one good word about me. He terrorized me and made my life hell. He only had gone to elementary school and worked in a factory. He was always looking for any excuse to badmouth me and scream at me. He complained about me not respecting him, which was crazy because he's the one who disrespected me.


That's my ESFP mother (the one I voted for). Such a horrible person and parent. 

I'm not a fan of my father either (ISFJ) but at least he's not psycho.


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## Glenda Gnome Starr (May 12, 2011)

The worst personality types for parents are unhealthy types. These are the types who are insecure and who try to live vicariously through their kids. When the kids rebel, mainly because they want to live their own lives in their own way, the parents get furious because the kids are not as moldable as they believed. It doesn't make for very healthy family relationships.
My uncle was a good example of that. He was a control freak, even when he was young. He and my mom's sister had three children, two sons and a daughter. His second son could do no wrong. His first son could do no right. Eventually, he kicked his older son out of the house, and the son traveled far away. The two were estranged for many years. Eventually, they spoke to one another again. But the unhealthy personality of the father and the fact that he was (unsuccessfully) trying to control his son basically destroyed their relationship.
edit: Quite honestly, I never liked my uncle very much. I saw him and mean and judgmental and not very friendly. Yep, there was a personality clash. Fortunately, he was not my dad.


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

Any of them. 
l think hating your parents is one of the easiest things in the world to do, and l also think type is somewhat influenced by environment so quite often the kid will develop to be opposite in at least one way and in turn justify the for that reason.

ESTJ may seem like the easiest to hate, but an SJ child might also feel abused and misunderstood by an INFP parent.

Here is the chain of hate-related development in my maternal family:

SJ grandparent>INFP mother>ENTP child(self)<>ISFP sibling.

The dynamic seemed to unfold predictably as far as what l've been alive to observe.
Mother thinks grandmother is rigid and controlling, l thought my mother was irrational and the ISFP most likely thinks we're both insane and her S/N preference seemed to develop pretty late.


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## BelongInNeverland97 (Feb 24, 2013)

My ESFJ mother because she is always trying to get me to do stuff when all I want to do is sit on the internet or listen to music.


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## Shale (Jan 17, 2012)

Gotta love the disparity in this forum. Of course you will see most of the poll results = some kind of sensor, b/c intuitives dominate the forum.


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

Killionaire said:


> If you have 1 or 2 parents you hated, what type were they and why?
> 
> I had an ISTJ father who was a giant a*hole. He had low self esteem and badmouthed lots of people to
> try to feel like he was better than them. He severely criticized, insulted, demeaned, and disrespected me.
> ...


My parents were great for the most part. Sometimes they really sucked. Some of the things you've listed, my parents did and I didn't see as 'bad' though. They didn't go to school performances or parent teacher conferences etc... That didn't bother me. I got upset with them when they moved without me, most moves I made with them. A few I had to stay with my Grandparents. I felt like excess luggage when they did that. I felt like the only kid that didn't see their parents for months. But then when I saw them again, I was just so happy to see them and couldn't remember why I was upset with them.


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## RWK (Jul 14, 2013)

Sure we're not exactly the most loved but let's be honest, SJ's are natural born parents. We're "hated parents" because we do what needs to be done, regardless of what the kid might think. The kids are usually thankful later on when their college is paid for using the college fund created by said "hated parents".


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## aphinion (Apr 30, 2013)

I voted for my type because I'm convinced that I am going to be the meanest, most strict parent of all time. It is going to be so much fun. 

However, I totally get the ESTJ vote. From what I've heard they seem big on traditions and receiving unquestioned respect, which would drive me positively crazy.


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

I was expecting tons of votes for my type. I'm surprised so far there aren't any. I lack structure, I'm told I spoil my kids and I try to be sensitive but it's not my strong suite. I'm waiting for the day they demand I pay for their therapy.


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## Caged Within (Aug 9, 2013)

My dad is an INTP and and my mom is an ENFJ. I don't hate either of them. I don't typically like being around them, but that doesn't mean I don't love them, nor does it mean I don't appreciate everything they've done for me. I'd like to also add how it's such bullshit that the sensors are getting hammered in this thread. Just because you don't like your parents, and can't always relate to them, doesn't mean they're bad parents. They're not supposed to be your friends. They're supposed to be the people that push you, so that you can at least stand on your own, two feet.


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## Meekers (May 30, 2013)

Stepdad's an ESTJ, mom's an ISFP. They both have their flaws and are extremely overprotective. My stepdad is either a narcissist or extremely moody, while my mom is racist and just follows my stepdad's opinions. I can't say I hate them, although I'd like them to stop controlling my life and let me try to be independent for once. I swear, if I hear that "I just want what's best for you" again, I'll explode. 

I voted ESTJ, even though I know it depends on the person.


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## star tripper (Sep 1, 2013)

I get really annoyed when people insult their parents for "not understanding" them. I guess I just think my parents misunderstanding me is a small price to pay for all the diapers, baby formula, toys, food, clothes, school supplies, and rent they had to pay. Parents have their flaws (and a few are unforgivable I'm sure), but in my experience, people don't appreciate their parents enough until they're much older and realize how much they've done for them.

Anyway, if I used caricatures to judge each of the types, I'd say ENTJ would be the worst. ESFJ could also either be the best or the worst parent ever.


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## KateMarie999 (Dec 20, 2011)

Subjectively, I voted for ISFJ. My dad is ISTJ but, despite the fact he's my opposite, we seem to be able to "get" each other a lot better. Because of shared Te and Fi, we have a way of speaking that is similar and our emotions tend to be expressed in similar ways. It helps that we have things in common as well.

My mother and I... don't. Not one bit. She's really trying now, bless her, but the damage is done. She refused to stick up for me as a child, forced me to do all kinds of things I physically couldn't do because she wouldn't even entertain the idea that I might have any kind of learning handicap (I have ADD), and she pushed me to do things I wasn't comfortable with. I can remember all kinds of meetings and children's social events she forced me to go to because she wanted me to "expand my horizons." In retrospect, I know she was trying to help me. I know she saw my explosively _weird _personality as almost threatening. That makes me understand it a bit more but not necessarily excuse it.

I think I can say all this with a lot more maturity because I ironically started writing a story about a family in which the daughter is different from her parents in almost every way and rather than nurture her, they see it as a problem and try to fix it. Half the story is in the father's perspective and as I was writing it, I was starting to understand my parents' side of it all. In fact, even he started to become his daughter's advocate instead of telling her how to live her life his way. I think my parents are starting to get it but it still will take some time. I do love them for trying. They're nowhere near success but they're actually trying now.

But yeah, I voted ISFJ because those kinds of parents really suck at raising N kids.


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## imanonmd (May 9, 2013)

My mum is an INFJ and I couldn't have asked for a better mum. Sure, we did have our differences because she dissapproved of my LGBT friends and my lack of faith but those were understandable considering the fact that she is a devout christian.
My dad is ISTP and we didn't get along that well mostly because he wasn't home much so he had no idea what made us tick and showed his love in a manner that wasn't according to our needs.
I voted for ESTJ because I know of two cases of intuitive child brought up by an ESTJ ending in a complete disaster, might be a different case for sensor children. My own sister is an ESTJ and I sure hope that her baby doesn't grow up to be an INFP.^^


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

ESTJs are in large viewed as authority and parents are the same. In such a light most ppl will asess their paren's personality as some kind of STJ if that said parent is an authority figure. 

The problem here is that this reflects the relationship of child-parent and not the parent's real personality type.

My dad is *ISTP type 9* (I never know what he is thinking or feeling in there) and mom is some kind of *ExFx type 6* (I always know what she feels and thinks). *They are wonderful parents, each with their own specific problems.*


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

FreeBeer said:


> ESTJs are in large viewed as authority and parents are the same. In such a light most ppl will asess their paren's personality as some kind of STJ if that said parent is an authority figure.
> 
> The problem here is that this reflects the relationship of child-parent and not the parent's real personality type.
> 
> My dad is *ISTP type 9* (I never know what he is thinking or feeling in there) and mom is some kind of *ExFx type 6* (I always know what she feels and thinks). *They are wonderful parents, each with their own specific problems.*


I have my doubts that there are as many SJ parents as people seem to think. I think you're right. Most people play different roles in life and some people I knew before kids behave very differently with their children than they do with others.


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

monemi said:


> I have my doubts that there are as many SJ parents as people seem to think. I think you're right. Most people play different roles in life and some people I knew before kids behave very differently with their children than they do with others.


Yeah... SJs are supposed to be the most common types, so some people's parents probably are an SJ of some kind, but I can't help but wonder if some people are quick to type their parents as one because of stereotypes.

That said, I don't think I would be a good mom. I'm not planning to have any kids though. I prefer kids when they aren't my responsibility.

...I wonder which type would be the most troublesome kid to take care of. :tongue:


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

Nonsense said:


> Yeah... SJs are supposed to be the most common types, so some people's parents probably are an SJ of some kind, but I can't help but wonder if some people are quick to type their parents as one because of stereotypes.
> 
> That said, I don't think I would be a good mom. I'm not planning to have any kids though. I prefer kids when they aren't my responsibility.
> 
> ...I wonder which type would be the most troublesome kid to take care of. :tongue:


Well ESTP's aren't troublesome. We were ALL angels. Perfect little angels.


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

monemi said:


> Well ESTP's aren't troublesome. We were ALL angels. Perfect little angels.


I'm sure you were.


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## Ellis Bell (Mar 16, 2012)

monemi said:


> I was expecting tons of votes for my type. I'm surprised so far there aren't any. I lack structure, I'm told I spoil my kids and I try to be sensitive but it's not my strong suite. I'm waiting for the day they demand I pay for their therapy.


Actually, I think that ESTPs (actually any of the xxTP types would make great parents--we are low on Fe but we are pretty much live-and-let live types of people, which means that we'd raise our kids to be independent--do you find this with yours? If I have kids, though, I'm waiting for the day that I end up with an Fi-dom child (how about an INFP?) and they end up hating me for not being empathetic enough. 

Anyways, back to the topic of perceived hated parent types--just depends on the dynamic between the parent and child (and also the age of the child). My mom's an ESFJ and while we've not met eye-to-eye on a lot of things, the older I get the more I appreciate her perspective on things. No idea what type my dad was, but I had a pretty good upbringing, so no complaints here.


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

Ellis Bell said:


> Actually, I think that ESTPs (actually any of the xxTP types would make great parents--we are low on Fe but we are pretty much live-and-let live types of people, which means that we'd raise our kids to be independent--do you find this with yours? If I have kids, though, I'm waiting for the day that I end up with an Fi-dom child (how about an INFP?) and they end up hating me for not being empathetic enough.


I have a daughter and two sons. The boys get along with me swimmingly. My daughter came out sensitive from day one. High needs, lots of attention and feelings easily hurt. I feel bad that she just isn't as outgoing and bubbly as the four of us. She seeks perfection and did from day one. She puts so much pressure on herself. I can tell her a thousand times that she did a good job and try to move onto the next thing, but she'll keep thinking about it. She hates trying new things (except food, she's adventurous with food), but the rest of us try new things all the time and I can't always leave her out. She takes things so seriously and misses the joke when the other kids are laughing. She has some fantastic gifts, but I worry about her ability to socialize later. She got my looks, so that should help. We can try to build her up, but I really wish she wouldn't tear herself down. I seem to be in a race against time to fill her with positive feedback before her teens hit. I'm probably doing it all wrong, but you can only try your best right? 

This is what it says about ESTP Parents:

 There is a little bit of kid in every grown-up ESTP, so they're likely to really enjoy spending time "playing" with their children. The ESTP's goal with regards to parenthood is usually not structured or organized. They tend to take things as they come, and teach their kids what seems appropriate when situations occur. The ESTP is enthusiastic about both teaching their children and learning from them. They're likely to value their kids as individuals, and allow them to have their own voices in the family unit. 

The ESTP doesn't believe that they have all the answers. They believe that many things in life have no obvious answer. They tend to be very down to earth individuals who do not believe that they're better than others, or that they have some great voice of authority within them. Therefore, they're likely to be their children's friend and companion more than a disciplinary guide. However, the ESTP will not have a problem with issuing punishment and discipline when necessary. But, the ESTP has such easy-going ways that they're not likely to see the need for discipline as frequently as some other types do. This may be a point of contention between the ESTP and their mate. 
Highly practical and quick-acting, the ESTP is excellent to have around in an emergency. They're tuned in to everyday needs, and are likely to be good providers of practical care. They will not be overly expressive of their feelings for their children, and may be gruff and unnatural when expressing love. 
In general, ESTPs are enthusiastic parents who usually form strong bonds of friendship with their offspring. 
 
I do LOVE being a parent. My kids aren't so little anymore. Sometimes they want me to play with them, which I enjoy. But I try to give them some space. I have an easier relationship with the boys. Not that my daughter seems to avoid me or anything. She likes to take my doodles and copy them and I show her how to do make-up and hair and that sort of thing. But when we ziplining on Saturday, I couldn't coax her up into the tree. She just had that stricken look on her face. And then I broke my finger and bruised my ribs and she gave me lecture that she knew it was dangerous. I don't want her to be the odd one out ALL the time and I want her to be independent. Obviously, she's free to say no. I just want her to have some fun once in awhile. At least she's still small enough to think I'm awesome. In a few years she'll be too cool for me.


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## cooliomaddog (Jul 12, 2013)

To each his/her own. For me, probably ESTJ.


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## GoldenRatio (Aug 2, 2013)

I'd like to preface this with: *Any type who cares about their child/children can and will make an excellent parent. *Someone before me has (or should have) said this but I wanted to say it again.
I voted ESTJ because, in my experience/opinion, they have the highest tendency to become abusive. My ESTJ parent is manipulative, and has emotional breakdowns every two weeks or so. She does not allow questions. Ever. She considers it a challenge to her authourity. That is probably the worst thing a parent could do to me. She cannot handle being disagreed with, and bullies my ISTP father into the ground. My father was probably one of the best people, teachers, and parents that I've ever known. He read LOTR to me at night (with singing  ) and explained evaporative cooling and tectonic plates and speedometers and sound waves to me when I asked. And, he allowed, even encouraged questions. (I really, really like asking questions. A lot.)
But, this whole thing is EXTREMELY BIAS and NOT AT ALL OBJECTIVE.


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## ENTrePreneur (Aug 7, 2013)

No. There is a good bit of logic to it. For example, I *love*my ISFJ dad, he really cares, but I *HATE* the way he is so strict about immediately doing work and then playing. I guess it makes sense, but I wrote my best English papers after doodling on the essay prompt. I also *HATE* the way he won't let me try to get out from underneath the powers that be. I guess there is the whole thing about respecting elders, but sometimes their just being idiots.
Right, logic. An ENTP would conflict with ISFJ parents very commonly because ENTPs love anarchy, creativity, freedom to work on own schedule, and rebellion when necessary (rules are for those that need them), while ISFJs love schedules planned two weeks ahead of time, set hierarchical systems, work before play, and getting things done as soon as possible with no time to think, and always obeying superiors to the last letter (if you can't stay in the lines, you don't belong in the system).


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## phoenixpinion (Dec 27, 2012)

Wow, I didn't expect those poll results. 

I also have an ISTJ father and ISFJ mother. I get along with my mother fine, but my father, well, let's just say my life got better when I stopped taking his advice seriously, lol. I mean, it's highly illogical to have your opposite type give you advice on how to live your life, because all that will accomplish is it will diminish your own type and turn you into a weak version of them (shadow operation, which causes stress). It doesn't make any sense at all. If I have a STJ child somewhere in the future, I will never tell them to suppress their own type. What foolishness is this? The problem is, the SxJ's are so high in population number that they seem convinced that everyone who is not like them is not "normal"... Their high collective populace somehow also reinforces their individual narcissism. It's like they're on a war against other types or something... (Must be the competitive nature of Western capitalism coming into play. I find it offensive how people can be so opposed to the concept of diversity. If that's the case, why not have "God" turn us all back into hermaphrodites? Or, why not become a Chinese commie?)

To all those P's and N's with (malfunctioning) STJ parents, my advice to you is, don't feed their seriousness... The only way out of this destructive cycle is doing the complete opposite as what they propose. Work on your self-esteem so you are able to stand toe to toe with them, instead of succumbing to their control mannerisms.

I'm seriously considering buying a Joker mask to put on whenever my father wants to have a "conversation".


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## Wuthering In The Willows (Jul 2, 2013)

My parents are decent, despite their faults. They're not the perfect parents, but they were the kind I needed when growing up in the situation I was in and I love them both. And I'm very sorry for those people in this thread who had to grow up without an adequate parental figure. No one should grow up without parents.

Any type has its good and bad parents. So I'm going to comment with stereotypes in mind, which I've assumed is the point of this thread.

To me, the worst stereotype for a parent would be an SJ. The stereotypical SJ parent doesn't really respect the child as an individual and only sees them as extensions of the family. This SJ caricature expects their children to conform to traditions, accept their beliefs, expects too much from them, and is overly controlling. Sometimes strong parental authority is necessary with a just hand needed to set the child straight, but too much and it inhibits the personal growth of the child.

As for my pick for best stereotypical parent, that would be an ENFJ. The Fe often leads to a nurturing role, but the presence of N over S would lead to more understanding of the child on an individual level rather than on a superficial level. Where Si would lead to a need to fulfill a "parental role" (a duty) and to expect a child to adhere to their dogma without as much thought for individuality, Ni can lead to a very strong understanding of who the child is underneath it all. This can allow an ENFJ parent to adjust to the needs of the child and acting accordingly, rather than just simply fulfilling a duty. The Fe-Ni dynamic would balance out so the parent can act as both a strong nurturing figure while also accommodating the personal growth of the child. The Se can also lead to playfulness and the Ti to being able to explain things, which is another plus.

I'm not sure how I'd get on as a parent. If I were to become a father, I'd rather adopt children instead of having my own. Why bring another kid into this world when there are kids who are left orphaned? I don't think of myself as overly controlling, but I'm aloof as a person. Spending time with the same people for too long would really test my sanity. That being said, I'm barely an adult. I'm not in any real rush.


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## candycanebones (Jan 21, 2013)

I don't think there's gonna be a whole lotta objectivity in whatever information comes out of this thread. 

I have mixed feelings about my parents. ISFP raised by an ENFP and INTJ. They love me unconditionally, or else I don't think it would work with the communication barrier. But, as a result I feel more like a well loved family dog than a person. Neither of them ever take what I say at face value. The things I say never seem of consequence. I'm just like an object of affection, it's kind of f-ed up my self esteem. But they're both super smart so I like to listen to them talk, and I know I can rely on them. I find the thought process of intuitives extremely interesting.


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## phoenixpinion (Dec 27, 2012)

candycanebones said:


> I don't think there's gonna be a whole lotta objectivity in whatever information comes out of this thread.
> 
> I have mixed feelings about my parents. ISFP raised by an ENFP and INTJ. They love me unconditionally, or else I don't think it would work with the communication barrier. But, as a result I feel more like a well loved family dog than a person. *Neither of them ever take what I say at face value.* The things I say never seem of consequence. I'm just like an object of affection, it's kind of f-ed up my self esteem. But they're both super smart so I like to listen to them talk, and I know I can rely on them. I find the thought process of intuitives extremely interesting.


This is in the nature of intuition, but I can see how this is annoying for you as an S. Personally, when around S people I usually tune my N down a bit to bridge the communication gap, yet many of my N friends do not tend to do this because they don't seem to be aware that not everyone is interested in their "crap", but are actually put off by it instead. As a result, even I, an N myself, feel somewhat embarassed at these moments. Because really, how can you be so lacking in self-awareness to not notice the weird faces around you??

I guess the problem you're facing is somewhat opposite to the problem an N child faces with of SJ parents. Whereas SJ parents take everything at face value (annoying for N children), N parents take nothing at face value (annoying for S children like yourself).


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## candycanebones (Jan 21, 2013)

phoenixpinion said:


> This is in the nature of intuition, but I can see how this is annoying for you as an S. Personally, when around S people I usually tune my N down a bit to bridge the communication gap, yet many of my N friends do not tend to do this because they don't seem to be aware that not everyone is interested in their "crap", but are actually put off by it instead. As I result, even I, an N myself, feel somewhat embarassed at these moments. Because really, how can you be so lacking in self-awareness to not notice the weird faces around you??
> 
> I guess the problem you're facing is somewhat opposite to the problem an N child faces with of SJ parents. Whereas SJ parents take everything at face value (annoying for N children), N parents take nothing at face value (annoying for S children like yourself).


I appreciate it at times and I probably take it for granted. But as long as you're living in the same house as someone the coin is two sided (that sounds kind of dumb, I can't think of another way to say it?) There would be different problems with SJ or SP parents. I'm sure the lack of satisfactory resolution for problems would cause a lot of build up. It's happening now too, but I have to give my parents a lot of credit in that area.


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## Zaabon (Sep 3, 2013)

It definitely seems like xSTJ are the generally worst parents. I have an ISTJ father and I really hate him. He always put work first and never seem to actually care about me. Criticism goes right through him and he gives criticism with unreasonable arguments. He regularly exploits me for his own sake and I can't remember the last time he encouraged me. My mother which is an ENFJ on the other hand is very nice (they are called "the givers" for a reason).


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## maxwell.hanic.1 (Sep 7, 2013)

I actually don't know what type my parents were. But I have to say that ENTP would be the worst. They would be extremely annoying in any form of argument as they are naturally good at it. Their NT information gathering would also make it hard to put one over them.


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## Glenda Gnome Starr (May 12, 2011)

I am sure that my dad was an INTP. My mom... I can't figure out her type but I think that it may be INxJ, leaning toward INTJ.
My parents had long conversations that involved the word "analysis" repeatedly. I had the feeling that they were talking about Important Stuff. I didn't understand any of the Important Stuff.
I always felt that my parents read too much into what I said. Then they would tell me when I meant by what I was saying. And they insisted that they were right. It was very frustrating because I have never liked when people read stuff into what I said or started "reading between the lines." Since neither one of my parents were talented mind readers, they were usually way off.


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## OrdinarinessIsAFWTD (Jun 28, 2011)

I would say any SJ is a hard sell for child-rearing. Not adaptable enough. In this ever-changing world, not only do YOU have to be ahead of the game, but be able to coach your progeny in doing the same.


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## Barkhouse (Aug 3, 2013)

My parents are both ISTP and ISFJ respectively. While we're definitely not on the same wavelength, things could've been worse. My husbands mother on the other hand was so manipulative and mentally/physically abusive that we had to cut contact completely. 

One point against ISFP for the psychopathic bitch.


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## EccentricSiren (Sep 3, 2013)

My parents are both really lovely people. But we don't always understand each other. My mom is an ISFJ and I'm not entirely sure what type my dad is, but definitely an I and definitely a T. Not sure on the other two, but he and my ISTJ sister are very similar. I always knew they both loved me, but I didn't really feel like they understood me very well. I think they enjoy my creativity and ideas, but I think in general, they think I'm a bit weird, and I think it also bothers them that I decided to follow a different spiritual path than the one they raised me in. But I don't hate either of them or think they were bad parents. They did the best they could with the INFP weirdo kid they got.


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## I Kant (Jan 19, 2013)

Ouch. Such ESTJ rejection.


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