# How do you flirt?



## agokcen (Jan 3, 2010)

I more or less ignore the person in hopes that he'll think I'm all cool and aloof.

I'm aware that this isn't the best of strategies, but the fact is that I generally only flirt openly with guys in whom I'm not actually interested. There are exceptions to this rule, but they are ridiculously rare.


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## spring (Dec 19, 2009)

When I flirt with guys I'm interested in, I.... smile a lot, ask them questions about topics they're interested in (and at least appear to be interested), give shy side glances and smiles, "accidentally" have some sort of innocent physical contact with them, lightly tease them, let my enthusiasm and confidence show-coupled with occasional shyness, and also let the person know that I sincerely think they're amazing because "fill in reason here." And be sure to say why that reason is valid.

My tone of voice also changes depending on the person I'm flirting with and how I think it'd be best to get their interest-quiet and gentle, teasing and confident, or playful. I also find innocent excuses to contact them-wait for them to respond, and slowly ease my way into their life. 

My style of flirting really is only catered to confident or gentle types cause they're the ones that typically attract me. I don't really know how to flirt with other types unfortunately.

When I am "flirting" with guys I'm not interested in, I only give them my attention, smile a lot, compliment (if there's something to compliment), and am playful. I also don't know how to flirt with girls at all.


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## Nueman (Mar 3, 2010)

Outcode said:


> I was kind of bored... but anyways
> How do you guys flirt? What do you do? (poking, teasing, etc.) Do you like flirting? Even if you're with someone? Do you think different personality types use different kinds of flirting? Do you like flirting online/through texts as opposed to real life?
> 
> Sorry if there's already another thread about this.


I use innuendo, but am very subtle. Most of the time the subject just thinks I am trying to be funny. After months of this treatment, I may pat them on the back to say goodbye.

I love flirting (dirty talk) I just suck at getting it there.

I prefer online, or text based. Text messages on cell phone.


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## Yin Praxis (Jan 16, 2010)

I don't flirt often, but I really enjoy doing it.

I'm coy. I don't know if that works for straight men, but it's what comes naturally to me.


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## Midnight Runner (Feb 14, 2010)

I don't do it consciously, though I am quite oblivious to most things when it comes to the opposite sex.:frustrating:


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## murderegina (Jan 7, 2010)

I always take the sarcastic approach when it comes to flirting. I don't know if this approach is necessarily the most effective. But, being sarcastic seems to be the only thing I can do off the top of my head. Otherwise my attempt at flirting would be too drawn out, awkward, and flustered.


God bless, my cynicism!


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## Robatix (Mar 26, 2009)

agokcen said:


> I more or less ignore the person in hopes that he'll think I'm all cool and aloof.


This method of flirtation has been a time-tested failure for me. >__>


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Robatix said:


> This method of flirtation has been a time-tested failure for me. >__>


I don't understand why some people hate this quality so badly. I don't think it's life or death to lose someone I am attracted to, especially when I don't really know them. 

My aloofness is not a "tactic" to win them over. Rather, it is a knee jerk reaction due to shyness. "Failure" doesn't exist in my world.


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## Robatix (Mar 26, 2009)

pinkrasputin said:


> I don't understand why some people hate this quality so badly. I don't think it's life or death to lose someone I am attracted to, especially when I don't really know them.
> 
> My aloofness is not a "tactic" to win them over. Rather, it is a knee jerk reaction due to shyness. "Failure" doesn't exist in my world.


In my case, it's either involuntary or due to the sudden loss of my ability to make decent conversation. Aloofness may not be effective flirting, but it can be wonderfully compensatory.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Robatix said:


> In my case, it's either involuntary or due to the sudden loss of my ability to make decent conversation. Aloofness may not be effective flirting, but it can be wonderfully compensatory.


I don't know what you just did, but somehow I agree with you.


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## tinker683 (Nov 29, 2009)

Outcode said:


> I was kind of bored... but anyways
> How do you guys flirt? What do you do? (poking, teasing, etc.) Do you like flirting? Even if you're with someone? Do you think different personality types use different kinds of flirting? Do you like flirting online/through texts as opposed to real life?
> 
> Sorry if there's already another thread about this.


I'm not sure if what I do could be called flirting or not...but generally when I do 'flirt' I do so usually in the form of being really sweet and warm to her, along with a lot of compliments about who she is and her physical appearance. Also, on some kind of holiday in which it might be appropriate I'll also buy her something nice that I know she'll like.

I usually try and be overt about my intentions but I also want her to feel comfortable enough around to say that if she isn't interested in me then it's cool and we can still be friends. Needless to say, I have a lot of female friends 

And no, I don't flirt when I'm with someone and I don't flirt with women who are with someone. To me, that's rude.


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## agokcen (Jan 3, 2010)

Robatix said:


> In my case, it's either involuntary or due to the sudden loss of my ability to make decent conversation. Aloofness may not be effective flirting, but it can be wonderfully compensatory.


 
Yeah...what you said.



Now, if you'll excuse me for a moment, I'm going to go copy down the above quote and bring it up the next time my mother yells at me for once again blatantly ignoring every attractive male that comes by.


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## The Proof (Aug 5, 2009)

flirting is not fake, flirting is flirting

it can be seriously cheesy though, which isn't necessarily a bad thing

I just kind of get into a playful mood and everything flows from there


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## Brainteaser (Jan 20, 2010)

Low key flirting all the way!


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## Nearsification (Jan 3, 2010)

I do not realize when i do. Apparently i flirt by accident.


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## Brainteaser (Jan 20, 2010)

NearsToys said:


> I do not realize when i do. Apparently i flirt by accident.


Like on the 40 Year Old Virgin?...

"We have a big section of do it yourself."

"Do you like to do it yourself?"


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## la musa candido (Feb 19, 2010)

with guys it just comes naturally i guess. even if i just think of a guy as a friend they say i flirt...especially if i'm comfortable enough to be touchy-feely with them. i feel more sensual around guys but i usually like just being their friends.

with girls it's COMPLETELY different. i never know how to act. i get shy and usually don't know what to say or blurt things out lol. it's easier if i can get to know them on a friend level first. i feel more intimate with girls but i get more turned on by girls.


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## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

I don't think I really flirt so much as I try to impress the girl. Sometimes it works and other times I come off as a total self-absorbed jackass. :frustrating:


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## pie (Mar 9, 2010)

Outcode said:


> I was kind of bored... but anyways
> How do you guys flirt? What do you do? (poking, teasing, etc.) Do you like flirting? Even if you're with someone? Do you think different personality types use different kinds of flirting? Do you like flirting online/through texts as opposed to real life?


I don't flirt. I wouldn't know how even if I wanted to. (why would I want to?) sometimes when I've joked around with someone, someone else will say that I'm flirting, but I'm not. then I feel awkward around the person and joke with other people so they don't think I was flirting with them. this is probably ineffective; they probably just think I am flirting with those other people too. 
so confusing.


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## Spicy Obsession (Feb 15, 2010)

I don't. I'd just make an even bigger loon out of myself.


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## NotSoRighteousRob (Jan 1, 2010)

I wonder.... some times I just have all these lewd comments that seem to come out of nowhere. I wonder if I'm not in heat cause it seems to happen at the strangest times. 

I think I'm a shameless flirt, it's fun you know. It brightens up peoples days and makes for interesting interactions with others. =/

I'm not sure, I say a lot of things in jest but by golly even though I'm joking I could see myself doing some pretty raunchy stuff :tongue:


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## lantern (Feb 15, 2010)

socraticsaurus said:


> Whereas when I'm single, I'm known to drop hints like "You should walk me home later. I have the best sofa."


That's the best chat up line EVER. LOL, love it haha :laughing:


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## Deja Vu (Dec 26, 2009)

Hate flirting through text. 

Nothing I say translates. Nothing. I like to talk those panties off.


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## AdAstraPerAspera (Oct 14, 2009)

I tend to be quite subtle. I pretend to sort of ignore them, but if called on, I'll help them out, be a 'gentlemen' as such. I also tend to occasionally glance at them, and glance away as soon as they know I'm looking at them. Other than that, any excuse to be physically close to them. I'll leave my hand right next to theirs and I'll poke them going, 'Poke!'.

I live with 5 girls, and 2 other guys, and the girls reckon I rub off as a 'cute, sweet, amorphous' guy. I'm actually quite interested in 1 of those girls at the moment, but shes going back to the UK in a few months.. 

edit: I also tend to make a complete fool out of myself. I'm our archery expert at where I work. I was teaching the girl I like how to fletch arrows. I screwed up the only 3 arrows I've ever screwed up. May have also gotten a retro concussion last night by accidentally hitting a metal pole :\


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## Razvan (Dec 17, 2009)

AdAstraPerAspera said:


> I tend to be quite subtle. I pretend to sort of ignore them, but if called on, I'll help them out, be a 'gentlemen' as such. I also tend to occasionally glance at them, and glance away as soon as they know I'm looking at them. Other than that, any excuse to be physically close to them. I'll leave my hand right next to theirs and I'll poke them going, 'Poke!'.
> 
> I live with 5 girls, and 2 other guys, and the girls reckon I rub off as a 'cute, sweet, amorphous' guy. I'm actually quite interested in 1 of those girls at the moment, but shes going back to the UK in a few months..
> 
> edit: I also tend to make a complete fool out of myself. I'm our archery expert at where I work. I was teaching the girl I like how to fletch arrows. I screwed up the only 3 arrows I've ever screwed up. May have also gotten a retro concussion last night by accidentally hitting a metal pole :\


So when INFP turn red, bable a lot, get distracted and hit metal poles...they're actually in love.:laughing: Sounds familiar. :blushed: 

For me, being interested in a girl manifests by being nervous, unable to do anything, however if we somehow get passed that (ex : we are introduced by someone else, we already know each other etc), I tend to throw deep looks while I ask them about themselves or try to find a way to make conversation, I generally hate small talk, but it has it's purpose as I hate going deep into who I am at the beggining...this is way sometimes I make them talk about themselves alot...so I don't have to talk about me.:laughing: Iguess this why ENFx are good matches for us, they talkabout them, we listen..it's a win-win.:laughing: However after I start to feel confortable, I can talkabout me, so flirting in this stage would be giving away silly evens in my life, like, oh,you're scared of plugs because you'll get electrocuted, I once got aa bit electrocuted while playing with my train on toy electric lines...luckily it was DC and not AC, so I'm still here talking to you.:laughing: So...maybe I flirt by trying funny in a goofy way.roud:


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## lantern (Feb 15, 2010)

I'm clueless when it comes to flirting. I'll make fun of someone in a light-hearted way but I don't see it as flirting, as I do that to both my girl-friends and boy-friends and it doesn't mean I have a crush on them haha.

If someone is flirting with me in a way to express that they genuinely liked me (and not in a chat-up way) I wouldn't know until AFTER they've done it  and even then I would question it "Hmmm....were they flirting with me?!"
When I do like someone I feel pretty nervous and probably very susceptible to blushing, and can't look at them too much.


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## Synthetic Darkness (Mar 19, 2010)

Gah I never flirt...I can't do it. If I focus on actually flirting it sounds so fake. However none of my friends believe me apparently I'm the biggest flirt ever. Which I honestly don't understand. I'm a friendly person and I pretty much treat everyone the same way...I'll joke around and tease pretty much everyone and I guess that looks "flirtatious"? I dunno but it's something that baffles me, I guess that's why I get quite a few guys asking me out and then feeling disappointed when I'm not exactly the same person I am in a big group when I'm alone with someone. 

Plus a lot of the things I say...I say for the shock value. I'm pretty sure I make more perverted jokes with people I don't find attractive than with people I do find attractive. Attractive people are intimidating >_<


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## freeeekyyy (Feb 16, 2010)

I don't flirt, for two reasons:

1. It's an invitation, which I'm not necessarily willing to back up, and I don't want to confuse or hurt the other person either.

2. I'm terrible at it, and even if a situation did call for it, I'd fail miserably.


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