# Is it bad to like two completely different things?



## aloewen429 (Sep 28, 2010)

This is just sheer curiosity, but I've noticed that when most people meet me (friend or not). They always end up confused by everything I do and tend to think I have no backbone, because I like both sides. I tend to be a person that is really flexible and open to new things. I do however have some morals and I will stand for them, but other things I tolerate. It all depends. I also like having the best of both worlds. 

example: I love camping and hiking, living in a nice country home, and the simple down to earth stuff. However, I also love the excitement/thrill of the city and traveling to different places.

My business professor said that most people are one way or another and gave us this example. Some people prefer chocolate and others would rather prefer vanilla. I said I preferred twist ice cream (both) and he looked at me strangely. I'm also moderate when it comes to politics also. Not picky in music in the least and not picky in food either. I'm used to travel since my dad would always have us moving over the country due to his job so I don't know if that's part of it or not.

Anyways is this really that odd? I'm just frustrated that most people don't like me because of this then claim I'm not real or fake. I've had friends abandon me because of this also. It also tends to draw most people away from me, except other people that can understand and appreciate variety.

Hope I didn't confuse anyone with all this.


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## chickydoda (Feb 12, 2010)

That doesnt seem weird to me. Some of those things (chocolate and vanilla for example) aren't really opposite so it would make sense for you to like them equally. I have a conflicting personality (enfp- introverted extrovert haha) so I am energised by being by myself but need lots of time with people too and vice versa which would be confusing to some people. I think the country/city thing must be tough, its like where would you prefer to live? What would you tire of after a few weeks? Were would you be happy to return to after a long time away?

The point is, these things are only as much of a problem as you let them be. You should try and enjoy the best of both worlds in every aspect of your life if that option is available to you. You probably do have preferences with things like politics but you can see the ups and downs in each arguement or you believe in multiple policies from each side.

I would never dump a friend because they liked multiple things, only if they were lying to me to make themselves look cool. I had one friend who constantly made up stories and was a completely different person with every person she came across which is how I knew she was faking it because you couldn't have that many sides to you without being ten different people. From what I have seen on this thread, you seem genuine


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

aloewen429 said:


> This is just sheer curiosity, but I've noticed that when most people meet me (friend or not). They always end up confused by everything I do and tend to think I have no backbone, because I like both sides. I tend to be a person that is really flexible and open to new things. I do however have some morals and I will stand for them, but other things I tolerate. It all depends. I also like having the best of both worlds.
> 
> example: I love camping and hiking, living in a nice country home, and the simple down to earth stuff. However, I also love the excitement/thrill of the city and traveling to different places.
> 
> ...


I love your post. Reminds me of someone I know, and if people are going to judge you for being fake? Screw them.

My take on it is that you seem to find middle ground in most things in life, while not compromising your own personal moral codes. If you were a zen Buddhist, I think you've mastered the art of living happily.

I wouldn't mind a city/urban life and countryside home myself either.. I think the business professor wants to number crunch by imposing the one way or another view, when in reality our tastes vary because variety can be a fine spice of life.

In fact, this is most likely your strength?:happy:


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## sarek (May 20, 2010)

I am the same. If an issue has two sides you can expect me to see five of them. I think I am the living paradox because as soon as someone asks me for a preference they have this tendency to immediately begin building a nice cubbyhole to fit me in.
When I say that politics should be more social then immediately they assume I am a socialist. And when I quote from the Bible, they think I am a Christian. 
But in truth I am none of the above, and yet I am all of them and many more besides.


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## chickydoda (Feb 12, 2010)

sarek said:


> I am the same. If an issue has two sides you can expect me to see five of them. I think I am the living paradox because as soon as someone asks me for a preference they have this tendency to immediately begin building a nice cubbyhole to fit me in.
> When I say that politics should be more social then immediately they assume I am a socialist. And when I quote from the Bible, they think I am a Christian.
> But in truth I am none of the above, and yet I am all of them and many more besides.


Lol not to ''put you in a box'' but you sound like Dr Tom off Being Erica. Quoting certain people doesn't mean you are the same of them, it shows you are educated and can collect value from a great array of sources. Definately a good thing!


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## Rez (Nov 6, 2009)

you are normal

we live in a literal world

with literal results

that cash out literal coins


so yeah if you think about it 

you stand out

but not for bad reasons just comfortable in your own skin


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## teddy564339 (Jun 23, 2010)

aloewen429 said:


> This is just sheer curiosity, but I've noticed that when most people meet me (friend or not). They always end up confused by everything I do and tend to think I have no backbone, because I like both sides. I tend to be a person that is really flexible and open to new things. I do however have some morals and I will stand for them, but other things I tolerate. It all depends. I also like having the best of both worlds.
> 
> example: I love camping and hiking, living in a nice country home, and the simple down to earth stuff. However, I also love the excitement/thrill of the city and traveling to different places.
> 
> ...



I can kind of relate to this, and kind of not. In my case, it's not that I necessarily like a lot of different things, but with a number of topics I usually look at things from a lot of different perspectives. 

Especially due to my ISF nature, some people interpret this as me not having a passion for anything, that I don't stand up for anything, and that I just agree with whoever I'm with. This sounds similar to what you've described.

So my guess is that it's kind of like you said...it's not that people have a problem with you liking different things, they just may be perceiving that you don't really like them, just that you're acting like you do to please others. I think this can happen with ISF types like us because we blend into the background so easily...we usually don't make waves, we don't cause conflicts, we just kind of let things be. I imagine ISFP's are like this even more than ISFJ's. 

You kind of touched on that...people probably think you're "fake" because they don't really believe that you like these different things. They may think you're just agreeing to do whatever just to fit in, or go along with the crowd, or whoever you're with at the time.


So you liking a lot of different things is by no means bad...I think it's actually a good thing because it shows open-mindedness to a lot of different experiences and lifestyles. 

However, what might be helpful is to show commitment to whatever it is you're doing at that particular moment. If you truly do enjoy it, focus on that one thing at that one moment instead of saying "Oh, all of these things are wonderful!" 


For example, if someone asks you if you like to travel, you could talk about how much you love to travel, and to see new places, and how you love the excitement. You don't need to add on "But I also really like living a simple lifestyle too...I don't *just* like traveling." While it may be true, unless someone asks you specifically about it, it kind of gives the impression that you don't like traveling, you're just saying you like everything equally to make anyone agree with you no matter what you like. If you focus on one main part of you at a time, people will be more likely to see your passion for that particular area. Then your real enjoyment will come out more. It won't come across as an apathetic "Yeah, I don't care what I do, everything's fine."


Just my take on the matter, I'm not saying I'm right. It's just interesting because I think this is kind of the main difference between my ISFJ and your ISFP, the grounded sense of the J vs. the free-flowing sense of the P.


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## aloewen429 (Sep 28, 2010)

chickydoda said:


> That doesnt seem weird to me. Some of those things (chocolate and vanilla for example) aren't really opposite so it would make sense for you to like them equally. I have a conflicting personality (enfp- introverted extrovert haha) so I am energised by being by myself but need lots of time with people too and vice versa which would be confusing to some people. I think the country/city thing must be tough, its like where would you prefer to live? What would you tire of after a few weeks? Were would you be happy to return to after a long time away?


When all is said and done I think I would love to come back home to the country just to get unstressed and unwind. I've been thinking about it, but I believe the best place would be the country, but somewhat close to a city as well in case if I ever wanted something different.


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## z5500x4 (Dec 7, 2010)

aloewen429 said:


> This is just sheer curiosity, but I've noticed that when most people meet me (friend or not). They always end up confused by everything I do and tend to think I have no backbone, because I like both sides. I tend to be a person that is really flexible and open to new things. I do however have some morals and I will stand for them, but other things I tolerate. It all depends. I also like having the best of both worlds.
> 
> example: I love camping and hiking, living in a nice country home, and the simple down to earth stuff. However, I also love the excitement/thrill of the city and traveling to different places.
> 
> ...


I think you're pretty awesome the way you are. I'm pretty indecisive about things myself. Not going one way or the other just shows that you are smart and wise enough to consider all possibilities.


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## aloewen429 (Sep 28, 2010)

teddy564339 said:


> I can kind of relate to this, and kind of not. In my case, it's not that I necessarily like a lot of different things, but with a number of topics I usually look at things from a lot of different perspectives.
> 
> Especially due to my ISF nature, some people interpret this as me not having a passion for anything, that I don't stand up for anything, and that I just agree with whoever I'm with. This sounds similar to what you've described.
> 
> ...


That's an interesting way to look at it. Thanks for your input/advice since I can actually see how this makes sense now. Being an ISFP I agree with the not causing conflict. Only time I will is if I absolutely have to, but even then it's not that strong. I'm working on it however, especially with the new switch over of my degree.

The only reason I lack commitment now is because I'm never sure if I will be able to 100% say I can stick with something up till the very end. Culinary I am sure of however since I have noticed I got better grades in that then in Physical Therapy. I worked extremely hard for the Physical Therapy degree and struggled only at the very end to be left with the choice of drop the whole degree or get kicked out of the program and receive a crappy GPA/failing grades. Although it's funny since it was my personality that screwed it up the most. The fact that I was a free floater in personality made it worse. 

Perhaps that's also why I lack dating skills. However, I have told off some people and said no to them so I'm not so much of a pushover as most would assume. Reason for that is because I denied someone having an affair with me that I dated for a couple of months and I'm still a virgin to this day. Only problem is when I do that most assume I'm being mean. I think it's just going to have to take some time before I consider committing myself to a person for now since a lot is going on. Once I get my degree I will be able to think more clearly on that part.


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## Cheveyo (Nov 19, 2010)

The only thing wrong with you is your expectation that everyone will accept you for who you are when they get to know you. That wont happen. We cannot please everyone, find the ones that like you for you and forget about the rest. They do not matter. I'm speaking as someone who thinks they wouldn't like you at all.

You are who you are. Accept yourself and screw everyone who doesn't.


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## chickydoda (Feb 12, 2010)

Cheveyo said:


> The only thing wrong with you is your expectation that everyone will accept you for who you are when they get to know you. That wont happen. We cannot please everyone, find the ones that like you for you and forget about the rest. They do not matter. I'm speaking as someone who thinks they wouldn't like you at all.
> 
> You are who you are. Accept yourself and screw everyone who doesn't.


Haha, I find it funny that you have given advice to this person even though you claim you probably wouldn't like them. You're awesome. You probably wouldn't like me either lol.

Although I have to say, I had a friend like the original poster and she always agreed with everything everyone said and you felt like she either didn't have any opinions of her own, no backbone or she was trying to hard to please everyone. It really got on my nerves sometimes because I wanted to know HER, not who she was trying to fit in with. The only time she would share opinions/her insights would be when there was no one to debate/disagree with her. Thats when I liked her the most because it showed her quirky and funny side, some of the things she thought seemed really unusual but I liked listening to her. I don't think anyone actually disliked her though because she was really sweet, and I would have described her as meek because she wouldn't have said boo to a mouse lol.


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

What the hell would be wrong with that? Are you supposed to have only one interest in everything?  You're talking about liking two things that are not even slightly mutually exclusive, and you say that people think that is odd? Get some new friends who aren't total morons.


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