# Am I INFP of INFJ?



## Ycat93 (Jan 13, 2013)

Hey everyone. I have another “Am I an INFJ or INFP?” thread here. Sorry, if you all are tired of these threads, but it will drive me insane if I don’t have some more certainty into the matter. I need the most correct answer or I’ll just keep searching and drive myself nuts. I guess I need closure, or more accurately, my identity. Yes, it's stupid. Thus, I've decided to ask you all. 


I have been classified as INFJ on all the tests, but I have doubts that I am an INFJ. One reason in particular is also because most of my closest friends have also been classified as an INFJ and that seems to me to be a little unbelievable. I mean, someone has to be the fraud and I would like to know if it’s me or not. I also don’t feel like I could be “special” enough to be an INFJ. It’s possible that I could be INFP. I’m pretty sure of the INF part, but of course, with evidence, I suppose that is also subject to change, except the introvert part: That’s definitely true.


Bear with me, this is most likely going to end up a pretty long blog post, but I will try not to overload you all with information (no guarantees.) I've numbered the below attributes in case you would like to reference specific points. These are in no particular order, even though I really want to order them, but I would spend too much time on it. =D 


The 30 quirks and wonderments of my individuality (working title) 
1.) I don’t feel like I have as much depth as an INFJ. 
2.) I am pretty impatient, firm on my stance, pretty open with criticism, and I am often times insecure and unsure of myself. However, when I see that I am wrong on a topic I don't have strong views on, I generally have no problem changing my opinion.
3.) When someone is trying to argue with me (especially when it’s about something really trivial), I usually laugh and have a great time, which just makes the person arguing with me more mad. I laugh because I think: Why are you even trying to argue about this?
4.) When casually writing or texting with a friend, I use ellipses quite a bit. 
5.) I am very forgiving and quick to love. If I see someone do others emotional harm and see a genuine change within them after the fact, I will tend to not hold anything against them. I am generally horrible at holding grudges, but I may not easily forgive people if they personally harm me.
6.) I read over this post too many times to count before posting it. I hate finding typos after I’ve posted something.
7.) I like to wear crazy clothing at times (to stick out and show my individuality, I guess), but it can’t be too crazy. For example, jeans with clouds on them or long fuzzy socks/neon socks (but the socks have to match!) I can be pretty, openly weird with people I’m comfortable with. 
8.) I don’t think I’m that organized: my desk is messy, my room is normally messy, but I know where everything is. My mind is constantly nagging me to clean though, and it usually takes me a while to act on it.
9.) I suppose I get the "strong feelings" that the descriptions of INFJs talk about. As one example, I was riding on the school bus when I was younger and got a terrible feeling that the bus was going to crash and I got so scared. On the way home, we passed a school bus full of kids that just crashed. I’m also weird with smells. If I walk into someone’s house, I can smell if they are sick. I smelled my grandfather’s stomach cancer, and I asked my mom and brother if they could smell it and they looked at me like I was crazy. It smelled like he was rotting inside. 
10.) My favorite topics to talk about are controversial and deep. I’m always asking people questions to learn more about them. I like to know why they think a certain way. I disclose quite a bit of information about myself and my thoughts to people I trust, but only really close individuals get to know certain things about me (sexual abuse in my past by a family member). It’s important for me to have someone that will listen to me and that I can tell my thoughts to. I like to call them my “rant therapist.” 
11.) When someone upsets me, I normally hide my emotions (recently I have been reacting with anger). I scream into my head and then I later tell my “rant therapist,” who is mentioned above, about it. I will usually defend myself if I feel like I am being unjustly attacked, but I will never attack the other person (unless it’s a sibling because that’s a part of sibling love. =P) 
12.) My day isn't ruined if things don’t go as planned. I’m pretty flexible; however, on the flip-side, I don’t see myself as very spontaneous. My best friend gets really irritated at me because whenever she asks me to go out and do an activity right this instant, I always feel a strong apprehension to stay inside. When I do go with her, I usually have a lot of fun. I also don’t like planning every minute of my day. Yes, I like to know the general flow of the day, but I don’t want to be inflexible and feel insecure if something goes wrong. However, if I've been planning something for a long time, it bothers me if it doesn't work out. 
13.) If there isn't a deadline, good luck getting me to achieve my goals in a timely manner. There are too many distractions. I need complete silence to focus. If there is a conversation going on around me, I can’t not listen to it. 
14.) I don’t think small talk bothers me. Yes, I deeply enjoy talking about anything with a deeper meaning beyond “how’s the weather today,” but sometimes, that’s all I’d rather talk about because I don’t want to talk in the first place. ^_^ 
15.) I hate making decisions really quickly. If I have to, I want someone else to tell me the right decision, so I don’t have to choose rashly and be at blame if I make the wrong one. Just recently, a family member that has been quite lost and in turn rude to my family asked me to drive him to work at a time that was inconvenient to me. I knew I should take him, but I called my mom for her advice on whether it would be wrong if I said no. She made me decide and I ultimately took him. Then he gave me a throbbing headache for some reason. Every time I’m alone with him, I get a headache. Once a decision is made (and hopefully made early so my mind can be at rest), I hate to change it. I am firm in both my beliefs and decisions. However, I can also push decisions away from me to prevent my having to think about it at all. 
16.) I don’t know if I perceive all the things INFJs see, like how they automatically know things. Yes, I can tell you exactly what my best friend is thinking just by looking at her, but I also think that could be just because I spend so much time with her. I like watching people and trying to figure out how they work. I get bad vibes from some people but I still tolerate them because I want to find a way to help them. 
17.) When surrounded with people who have different opinions from my own, I don’t force them to change. I like to hear their viewpoints in order to learn more about them. I consider their viewpoint, but rarely change my own. I challenge their viewpoint in a gentle way, in order to further explore their ideas. 
18.) When I read the “You know you’re an INFP…” thread, I felt more connected to that then the INFJ one because the INFP thread made me laugh. I had done some of the things mentioned there, but I have also done some of the things on the INFP thread. 
19.) I can be very emotional; I tend to cry at anything sad. I love to hug in private for very long periods, usually with a very close friend or family member. In public, I hate being touched or hugged. All touch is okay if I initiate it. For example, today I was sitting beside one of my friends who was hiding his head from me and kept rubbing at his eyes. Naturally, I assumed he was crying so I rubbed his back and told him everything would be okay. I think he just broke up with his girlfriend. That act of touch was okay; I started it. 
20.) I can be pretty sentimental as well. I like hearing stories of my childhood and seeing photos and home videos. I have pictures and important papers on my wall to remind me who I am and where I come from and where I’m going. For example, I have race numbers, pictures I’ve drawn or pictures I think are cute, rejection letters (I’m a writer), and pictures relating to the Christian faith.
21.) My highest rated temperament pattern is Catalyst, and then I’m Stabilizer, which I agree with. I am not sure about my interaction style. I could see me doing all of them except “Get-Things-Going” depending on the group I’m working with. 
22.) I constantly want to help strangers and love volunteering. I really want to help all the “dark, mysterious” people I meet, who I know are really good inside and are hurting in some way. I am often lost in my own mind, and I daydream, putting myself in scenarios that could happen. Recently, I was meeting a friend at a coffee shop at 7 (naturally I got there at 6:40), and on the way I envisioned different ways the conversation could go and how I would react so I would be ready for it. In another note, her 10 minute lateness actually irked me; she made me wait and made me feel like she didn’t value my time. I also daydream before I go to bed just for the heck of it. 
23.) I feel lonely in a room full of people, or even with a group of friends. I feel out-of-place and worry that people will notice that I am lonely and think about me. I don’t want people to notice me much. I feel lonely when driving somewhere by myself for 30 minutes or more; I then have to turn the radio on. However, I want people to notice my writing. 
24.) I’m awkward expressing myself verbally. I stutter and jump around when I talk. I’m much more comfortable writing my thoughts down on paper and re-reading them for clarity. 
25.) I always give advice to people, even when it’s not wanted. I tend to criticize a lot, but out of love and because I genuinely want to help them. There’s a lot I would change if I could and it irritates me that I can’t. The fact that people didn't listen to me when I was younger irritated me. I wondered if it was wrong for a parent to take a child’s advice. 
26.) When I look into my dog’s eyes, I often wonder if she’s really a person in there, like if it’s possible she was a human that got stuck into a dog’s body. It’s the amount of emotion I sense by looking in her eyes. 
27.) I do sometimes take on the feelings of others. My friend was explaining to me about how he’s excited and hopeful about getting a date with a girl and I was feeling it with him and got nervous and bubbly inside. 
28.) I often know the word I need. The perfect word always comes to mind when I'm searching for it, but I never know what the word means. When I look it up, I see it’s the word I was looking for. This happens also when I’m talking in a foreign language. 
29.) I am definitely looking for the ultimate soulmate, and I note the cons of each person I have an interest in. I fall way too easily in love. It may be the cause of hormones. 
30.) I asked some of my friends and family, and my facial expressions and voice are not very expressive, more monotone and neutral. However, I am easily excitable and when I am, my voice and face are very expressive. 


Okay, I suppose that’s more than all of you could have ever wanted, so I will stop now. If you've read this far, thank you!  All right, do I seem more like an INFJ or INFP?


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## NighTi (Jan 1, 2013)

I resisted the "INFJ" label because I misunderstood what it meant. I think that you may be in the same boat, but for different reasons, none of them your fault.

First, your identity is not a four letter binary code. There are more than 16 identities in the world. Your identity is a combination of your inborn talent, your environment, and what you make of both. 

Second, the four letter code does not point to a description of your whole personality. It points to a model of how you gather information and process it. That's all. It can't predict whether you prefer sweet or spicy food, let alone whether you have a tendency to forgive people.

Third, the four letter code is very easy to misinterpret. It maps to a model involving eight cognitive functions organized into 16 specific patterns, but the mapping isn't at all straightforward. For example, INFJ and INTJ are two of a kind, but INFJ and INFP have nothing in common. You would never get that just from looking at the four letters.

Fourth, the online tests can produce wildly inaccurate results.

Essentially, if you really want to understand this stuff, there is no substitute for slowing down and learning about Jung's model of cognitive functions. The online quizzes and profiles will only confuse you.

If you're a nerd like me, you'll buy the books by Jung and Myers. If you're more of a normal human being, you'll start somewhere like here: Jungian cognitive functions - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia or here: Articles - Summary of the Cognitive Functions .


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## everlander (May 26, 2012)

As an INFP who believes that she is an INFP, I believe that Ycat93 is also an INFP. =) Keep learning about functions, too, as NighTi suggested, even if it's too technical to digest quickly. You'll find out where you "fit" in the MBTI world. Also welcome to PerC! =D


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## Ycat93 (Jan 13, 2013)

Thank you, NighTi! That helps more than you probably think. It's like one of those things that are in the back of my mind, but don't really hit home until someone hits me in the face with the information.  I agree that I am putting too much importance on my personality type. So, again, thanks for telling this to me.  Now, I should be able to calm the frantic nagging in my head to find out "my identity" when this "four letter code" is not the answer. With that said, I'm still pretty curious to know what my type is, so I will still probably delve into more deeper research.

And thanks to you everlander for posting your opinion and welcoming me.


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## Traum (Jan 3, 2012)

Hey, what's all this about not being deep or special enough to be an INFJ? INFPs are deep and special too.

I can't tell which you are. You seem sentimental like an INFP and organized like an INFJ. You do seem kind of INFJ to me. Two of my best friends are INFJ and I and my fiance are INFP... it's kind of hard to describe the difference; it's more of just an abstract "s/he feels like an INFP/J," and you feel a little like an INFJ to me.


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## Ycat93 (Jan 13, 2013)

Thanks for the reply, Traum! I wasn't trying to imply that INFPs weren't special and deep also, so sorry if I came off that way.  More meant that I in particular didn't feel special enough to be such a rare personality type. 



Traum said:


> I can't tell which you are.


Me either!  It's a pretty difficult thing to do, I think. I don't think I know all the things I do subconsciously well enough to really get a grasp for my personality yet.


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## Acerbusvenator (Apr 12, 2011)

This might help you start.
http://personalitycafe.com/cognitive-functions/129827-identifying-type-dynamics-naomi.html
http://personalitycafe.com/cognitive-functions/130241-explanations-functions-naomi-quenk.html
The link in my signature is also good for your conundrum.

Also these might help:
http://personalitycafe.com/infj-forum-protectors/76894-recognizing-inferior-function-infj.html
http://personalitycafe.com/infp-articles/76770-recognizing-inferior-function-ifps.html


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## Traum (Jan 3, 2012)

Ycat93 said:


> Thanks for the reply, Traum! I wasn't trying to imply that INFPs weren't special and deep also, so sorry if I came off that way.  More meant that I in particular didn't feel special enough to be such a rare personality type.


No problem. And it's okay. Also, I think INFPs are also pretty rare, although there seems to be a lot of them on this forum.

And don't worry; you'll come to figure it out eventually. :happy:


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

Ycat93 said:


> Okay, I suppose that’s more than all of you could have ever wanted, so I will stop now. If you've read this far, thank you!  All right, do I seem more like an INFJ or INFP?


I'm leaning towards INFP. One way to tell these types apart is to look at expressions of inferior function. INFJs have inferior Se while INFPs have inferior Ne. Which description can you relate to? *Form of Inferior*


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## Ellis Bell (Mar 16, 2012)

First of all, dont' pay attention to the "you know you're an ____" threads. Although fun, they're not really representative of type. You definitely seem like a dominant Fi type, though; you seem to be a pretty empathetic person, but the focus is more on subjective values.


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## Ycat93 (Jan 13, 2013)

cyamitide said:


> I'm leaning towards INFP. One way to tell these types apart is to look at expressions of inferior function. INFJs have inferior Se while INFPs have inferior Ne. Which description can you relate to?


Hmm... tricky question. For me to answer the question to the best of my ability, I need to clarify some things. So when exactly do you become in the grip with an inferior function? When your upset or things just don't seem right in your life? When I'm upset, I like to be by myself and then maybe later talk about it with a friend. I like to run and do some sort of physical activity that releases a few nice natural drugs (a endorphin ) and takes my mind off of things. I try to understand what's wrong with the situation that upset me (the cause). So, I think I relate more to the INFJ one because the INFP sounds a bit too backlash-y for me personally. I'm usually only mean without caring when I'm not quite awake xD I hid in myself when I'm upset. 

In general, I don't think I understand what the inferior function is well enough to really make a decision. Would you be willing to explain?


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## soya (Jun 29, 2010)

cyamitide said:


> I'm leaning towards INFP. One way to tell these types apart is to look at expressions of inferior function. INFJs have inferior Se while INFPs have inferior Ne. Which description can you relate to? *Form of Inferior*


You mean INFPs have inferior Te. Ne is our secondary function.

My cold, correcting post here is a great example of inferior Te


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## Ycat93 (Jan 13, 2013)

soya said:


> You mean INFPs have inferior Te. Ne is our secondary function.
> 
> My cold, correcting post here is a great example of inferior Te


Yeah, I noticed that typo too, but I forgot to mention it :O I'm pretty tired right now though and I'm not caring as much as I normally would about typos... For example, I found typos in my last post and didn't even edit them xD


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

soya said:


> You mean INFPs have inferior Te. Ne is our secondary function.
> 
> My cold, correcting post here is a great example of inferior Te


yeah sorry that was a typo, I was thinking of ISTJs when I was posting this xD

so it's a difference between inferior Se and Te for INFJ vs INFP


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## Acerbusvenator (Apr 12, 2011)

Has the links I posted helped you get closer to finding your type?


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## myjazz (Feb 17, 2010)

@_Ycat93_
I would say INFP !!!!!!
You seem very much like a Fi dom

Now time to read after your Intro, and by all means myself personally will never get tired of am I "INFP or INFJ" there needs to be more,imo


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## Felidire (Jan 12, 2013)

Most of the guys here seemed to think that I was an INFP. I'm not really comfortable settling on either at the moment, so i'll buzz around here in your thread until I (hopefully) do. =P

Actually, your OP got me thinking...

In my thread, I mentioned how 'The Catalyst' was my best match, and 'The Improviser' was a close second.
In this thread, you mention how 'The Catalyst' is your best match, and 'The Stabilizer' is your second closest?

The Catalyst has: INF_J_ and INF_P_.
The Improviser has: IST_P_, ISF_P_, EST_P_, ESF_P_. (All P)
The Stabilizer has: IST_J_, ISF_J_, EST_J_, ESF_J_. (All J)

If other INFJs & INFPs here were to comment on which of the three temperaments they'd consider as their 2nd-best match, then perhaps a pattern may emerge?



Ycat93 said:


> 23.) I feel lonely in a room full of people, or even with a group of friends. I feel out-of-place and worry that people will notice that I am lonely and think about me.


This also made me curious.

When you feel 'out of place', do you mean that you would rather wander off and do your own thing instead of standing around while the group of friends converse? - and when you say that you _"worry that people will notice that you are lonely and think about you."_, are you _actually_ lonely, or are you just uneasy as a result of self-consciousness? (i.e. Not _actually_ feeling lonely, but worried that other people may perceive you as such?)


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

i thought this video was helpful on telling them apart


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## Ycat93 (Jan 13, 2013)

Felidire said:


> Most of the guys here seemed to think that I was an INFP. I'm not really comfortable settling on either at the moment, so i'll buzz around here in your thread until I (hopefully) do. =P
> 
> Actually, your OP got me thinking...
> 
> ...


That is a really interesting question. I would also like to know @Felidire if any patterns emerge. You or I should start a thread on it and see what comes of it. On being lonely: No, it's not so much that I don't want to chat. In fact, I can be downright extroverted when I want (even around complete strangers). So, I'm not really "lonely." I think me being self-conscious and having others perceive me as lonely is what really bothers me. I would be fine if all the people were gone and it was quiet. I think it is quite possibly the fact that people may judge me and think I have no friends, that they would come to the wrong conclusion and think such of me. I'm glad I get to share my state of uncertainty with you.  
@myjazz, @Ellis Bell What makes me seem like an Fi dom? I'm still a little confused at the difference between Fi and Fe. This will help me understand and decide my type. 
@Acerbusvenator, thanks for those links, by the way. Just re-read them so I could remember my thoughts on them and re-evaluate them. I'm still leaning toward INFJ because of my inferior function. This is one of the reasons why: "Introverted Feeling types frequently mention that an atmosphere of negativity and excessive criticism provides a fertile context for an eruption of their inferior function. Even if the criticism is not directed at them, it brings out their Extraverted Thinking in a black-and-white form. They harshly attack the people who are being negative and critical—for being negative and critical!" That is referring to INFPs. I am in a atmosphere like that 24/7, yet I don't lash out at people. I may tell them to be more positive or explain why their situation really isn't so horrible, but I don't attack people. Or I give people the silent treatment (in fact I actually did that today because I was upset with my friends ) Other reasons why I relate more to INFJ (at the moment): "Overdoing gratification of the senses is a commonly mentioned behavior for INTJs and INFJs in the grip of their inferior function.They may *overeat* or binge." What can I say?--I like junk food.  "For Introverted Intuitive types, relaxing their dominant and auxiliary functions may occur through such sensual pleasures as eating, exercising, and gardening." However, I don't believe I've ever done the obsessive organizing and obsession with detail when in "the grip;" However, I could be wrong. However, I did feel that the: "Important Features of Dominant Introverted Feeling" did apply to me quite a bit. What's your opinion?


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## Acerbusvenator (Apr 12, 2011)

Ycat93 said:


> @_Acerbusvenator_, thanks for those links, by the way. Just re-read them so I could remember my thoughts on them and re-evaluate them. I'm still leaning toward INFJ because of my inferior function. This is one of the reasons why: "Introverted Feeling types frequently mention that an atmosphere of negativity and excessive criticism provides a fertile context for an eruption of their inferior function. Even if the criticism is not directed at them, it brings out their Extraverted Thinking in a black-and-white form. They harshly attack the people who are being negative and critical—for being negative and critical!" That is referring to INFPs. I am in a atmosphere like that 24/7, yet I don't lash out at people. I may tell them to be more positive or explain why their situation really isn't so horrible, but I don't attack people. Or I give people the silent treatment (in fact I actually did that today because I was upset with my friends ) Other reasons why I relate more to INFJ (at the moment): "Overdoing gratification of the senses is a commonly mentioned behavior for INTJs and INFJs in the grip of their inferior function.They may *overeat* or binge." What can I say?--I like junk food.  "For Introverted Intuitive types, relaxing their dominant and auxiliary functions may occur through such sensual pleasures as eating, exercising, and gardening." However, I don't believe I've ever done the obsessive organizing and obsession with detail when in "the grip;" However, I could be wrong. However, I did feel that the: "Important Features of Dominant Introverted Feeling" did apply to me quite a bit. What's your opinion?


When Naomi gives examples about inferior eruptions she means them as examples and not as something that will happen when you are in the grip of your inferior.
In another thread I posted these examples from Naomi Quenk's book about inferior Te
The following are the rubrics of the different examples and what I considered the main point/reoccurring point in the examples

“But There Have to Be Rules and Procedures!” (She spent two evenings writing out detailed and elaborate “rules of law,” specifying how her employees must conduct business affairs and interpersonal relationships with each other and with customers.)

Embarrassing Error or Earache? (However, my readiness to distrust my knowledge was clearly a sign that I was insecure and thus basically incompetent.)

“I Wasn’t Good at That Anyway” (I feel really stupid, incompetent, and worthless,”)

“Go Ahead, Make My Day!” (What if they just had this fellowship left over and had to get rid of it and I was the only person available?)

“But He Sure Acted Like an ESTJ!” (He ran a tight ship, insisting on strict adherence to detailed requirements and procedures.)

Added the INFJ ones now, @Ycat93
The following are the ones for INFJ

“Help, I Can’t Change the Channel!” (I seem to get stuck on one sensory channel, often a visual one, like watching TV. I watch but am unable to extract any meaning from it, and because it lacks meaning, it is unacceptable to my usual criteria. I think, What kind of person engages in this meaningless pap?)

“The Harder I Work, the More You Criticize Me!” (It’s not even okay to compliment him, since he manages to find something negative even in this. He dismisses expressions of appreciation from his clients as insincere politeness.)

“Being Autistic or Catatonic Sounds Good to Me!” (I try to obsessively control every detail, I notice everything that is disorganized or needs cleaning in my outer world, and I want to fix it all perfectly and immediately. I eat too much, don’t enjoy it, and feel guilty about losing control. I feel like nobody helps me; I have to do it all myself and nobody appreciates me.)

“Let Me Help You Diagnose My Illness” (Most seemed to believe that because I was so knowledgeable about my condition, I must be a hypochondriac. Of course I was an expert on my symptoms.After three years of seeing doctors who didn’t have a clue, I figured they needed all the help I could give them!)


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## Ycat93 (Jan 13, 2013)

Points that apply to me on the video, @_cyamitide_:
INFJ: "If you get aggressive with them, they might actually respond positively. They think it's funny; they might actually think it's fun." 
INFP: "When an INFP comes up and meets someone, they want to know everything about the person in a very emotional way."
INFP: "They are very sentimental ... they're going to have crap all over the walls."
INFJ: "They're going to ask a lot of questions about you." (umm.. they never stop actually.)
INFJ: "They're not going to care [if another person hates the patriots and you love them.]" However, this may be an INFP thing: whenever I'm seeing a movie at the theater (even if I, myself, don't like the movie) and someone criticizes it or says it stupid or something like that, I feel hurt, almost like I am the creator of the movie. It's hard to explain. I think I empathize with the creators because I wouldn't want people saying that about my work, but I don't lash out against them or anything. I just feel weird inside.
INFJ: "They'll still react ... it will be a thought-out logical thing ... or they're going to get really quiet." However, another thing that could be INFP: When my feelings are hurt I like to rant to my friends about it and I may say some things I don't mean (but mainly because I have an audience and I want a reaction out of them.) 

It's hard for me because I want to know about people emotionally (INFP) and I want to know why they act the way they do from a non-emotional standpoint because I'm curious (INFJ) -_- I do get hurt easily (INFP), and I don't find myself cold and heartless (INFP) haha.. speaking of: INFJs, do you find yourselves cold and heartless?


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## Ycat93 (Jan 13, 2013)

Acerbusvenator said:


> I can look up and add the ones for INFJs here if you want.


Only if you don't mind.  It would probably help to have something to compare these to.


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## Ycat93 (Jan 13, 2013)

Quick question: is this more INFP or INFJ?
Whenever someone has an injury, I am able to feel it. For example, if someone has a gash (stitched or stapled up) in their stomach, and they show it to me, my stomach begins to hurt (on the surface) and it feels weird (like the butterfly feeling). Basically, I mirror the hurts of others. This happens with emotions as well (but not just sad ones, happy ones as well).


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## Acerbusvenator (Apr 12, 2011)

Ycat93 said:


> Only if you don't mind.  It would probably help to have something to compare these to.


Alright 



Ycat93 said:


> Quick question: is this more INFP or INFJ?
> Whenever someone has an injury, I am able to feel it. For example, if someone has a gash (stitched or stapled up) in their stomach, and they show it to me, my stomach begins to hurt (on the surface) and it feels weird (like the butterfly feeling). Basically, I mirror the hurts of others. This happens with emotions as well (but not just sad ones, happy ones as well).


Neither really, that's sympathy.


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## Ycat93 (Jan 13, 2013)

Thanks @Acerbusvenator! You're a pretty rad person.  

Oh, I hate my mind >.< I keep looking at both sides and pulling things from each side that could apply to me. I think I've lost all objectiveness and the fact that I already started leaning towards INFJ, I've convinced myself I am INFJ without proper eviednece. -_- 

So, being completely objective: Which do you see me as and why? If I have specific reason as to why, it will definitely help.


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## MikeyLightning (Nov 30, 2012)

I'm going to feel bad afterwords about posting this because this is a relatively important thread to you and I have little constructive to say but...

It seems that whatever you are is most likely what I am. With slight variations I pretty much relate to everything you said. The responses and suggested reading material have helped me a lot. I'm leaning towards INFJ myself.

Good Luck! especially with being objective, my lack of objectivity is actually why I came to this thread in the first place.


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## Acerbusvenator (Apr 12, 2011)

Ycat93 said:


> Thanks @_Acerbusvenator_! You're a pretty rad person.
> 
> Oh, I hate my mind >.< I keep looking at both sides and pulling things from each side that could apply to me. I think I've lost all objectiveness and the fact that I already started leaning towards INFJ, I've convinced myself I am INFJ without proper eviednece. -_-
> 
> So, being completely objective: Which do you see me as and why? If I have specific reason as to why, it will definitely help.


Having watched the video and your answers to it then it seems as if you are an INFP. He was good at explaining INFJ and INFP, yet you didn't really agree with what he said about INFJ and you made quite the leaps to reach INFJ-ish. Then adding the "bias" if you will towards INFJ, the leap becomes even bigger.



> However, this may be an INFP thing: whenever I'm seeing a movie at the theater (even if I, myself, don't like the movie) and someone criticizes it or says it stupid or something like that, I feel hurt, almost like I am the creator of the movie. It's hard to explain. I think I empathize with the creators because I wouldn't want people saying that about my work, but I don't lash out against them or anything. I just feel weird inside.


I think you answered your own question here.
Fi is an internal thought processing system. That means that it's harder to extravert than for example Fe (which was why he talked about INFPs talking with Te). I'd also make a guess and say that it might be that you respect the person saying that so much that you restrain yourself from lashing out at them.


> INFP: "When an INFP comes up and meets someone, they want to know everything about the person in a very emotional way."


That's more of a Fi+Si reaction. INFJs go in with Ni+Ti a lot of times when meeting new people to try and figure them out. Fe is usually more passively working to make sure that the questions aren't being too pushy. I personally become intrigued if they show an ability to argue rationally and discouraged if they are sentimental.
Like ENTJs sometimes get mistaken for ENFJs then INFJs sometimes get mistaken for INTPs due to our approach to people.

Tho this is my take on it, doesn't need to be true.
You are free to ask as many questions as you want. :wink:


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## myjazz (Feb 17, 2010)

Ycat93 said:


> @_myjazz_, @_Ellis Bell_ What makes me seem like an Fi dom? I'm still a little confused at the difference between Fi and Fe. This will help me understand and decide my type.


I added my input, I rather stay clear of the threads that is steering in this direction- no offense meant.

Welcome back to be staying in the Dominate Irrational Type - INFJ


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## OjamaPingu (Jan 3, 2013)

This probably won't really help you too much, but you sound a lot like me. However like you, I'm still trying to decide between infj and a few other types, including infp a bit. It's mainly infj vs isfj for me, but my P (functions) seems to be pretty high so its tough..

Good luck with typing yourself though  just remember that within each type there are infinite possibilities (quoted from someone here that tried helping me)


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## Ycat93 (Jan 13, 2013)

Ycat93 said:


> I've convinced myself I am INFJ without proper eviednece. -_-


That makes me happy xD Don't know how that got past me. ^_^ 



MikeyLightning said:


> I'm going to feel bad afterwords about posting this because this is a relatively important thread to you and I have little constructive to say but...


Welcome to my thread!  And don't feel bad at all. All people are welcome; I don't discriminate.  Good luck to you as well! Hopefully, we can figure all this mess out in a timely manner. ^^



Acerbusvenator said:


> I think you answered your own question here.
> Fi is an internal thought processing system. That means that it's harder to extravert than for example Fe (which was why he talked about INFPs talking with Te). I'd also make a guess and say that it might be that you respect the person saying that so much that you restrain yourself from lashing out at them.
> 
> That's more of a Fi+Si reaction. INFJs go in with Ni+Ti a lot of times when meeting new people to try and figure them out. Fe is usually more passively working to make sure that the questions aren't being too pushy. I personally become intrigued if they show an ability to argue rationally and discouraged if they are sentimental.
> ...


1.) Is it possible to respect the whole world then?  It may be possible, but I'm personally not sure on the matter. I haven't really lashed out at anyone, except my dad after he hit me one morning out of anger and when he says something extremely close-minded and really demeaning to another group of people that I respect (I respect all groups of people who don't hurt others as a whole. There are always a few in every group that cause stereotypes of the whole.) Even then, my lashing out (after he hit me) was complete shock on my face (I felt the expression on my face it was so strong xD) and running up to my room and closing my door to be alone. Then I tried to hold a grudge against him and do the silent treatment, which lasted only a day. After he said something close-minded, I used to get internally mad and then I try to share my side and encourage him to be more open-minded. He always just ends up yelling at me and not listening to a word I say. (I would love to have a nice conversation with him. Debating with people who have a different viewpoint than mine is one of my favorite things to do.) Now, I just patiently let him vent to me for hours and hours, while I think about what he's saying and something else at the same time. So, what is considered lashing out? 

2.) Can the two personalities mix? Meaning: INFJs can show INFP qualities and INFPs show INFJ qualities? I think that may be one of the reasons why it is making it so hard for me. I'm still trying to figure out how I mainly go up to strangers. When I can obviously see that the person I'm talking to is uncomfortable (but they have to talk to me for something), I will go the emotional route: smile and ask them questions on subjects we have in common (I tutor, so in that situation I ask them what they think of the class and share my experiences with them.) However, if they aren't uncomfortable, here come the million probing questions. It's almost like a contest: How deep can I get into their mind? What questions can I get them to answer? When I know a person longer and better, my questions get more pushy, and I'm encouraged and much more curious to know the answer when they evade my question. 

3.) I always warn people when they say I can ask as many questions as I want. That is really a dangerous thing to say. xD They are likely to never stop.  You have been warned. Speaking of, I've been wanting to ask you a few questions that have nothing to do with this thread, but I haven't, because I don't want you to feel like I'm invading in your personal space/all of a sudden interviewing you.  



myjazz said:


> I added my input, I rather stay clear of the threads that is steering in this direction- no offense meant.
> 
> Welcome back to be staying in the Dominate Irrational Type - INFJ


None taken.  Thanks for your input; it's greatly appreciated.


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## Acerbusvenator (Apr 12, 2011)

@Ycat93, you twist everything you read to suit a bias for INFJ.
You seem to have twisted the first links I posted, the parts I posted from Naomi Quenk, what the guy said in the video Cyamitide posted and my conclusion tho it's quite clear that you are really forcing things to go where you want them to.



> 3.) I always warn people when they say I can ask as many questions as I want. That is really a dangerous thing to say. xD They are likely to never stop.  You have been warned. Speaking of, I've been wanting to ask you a few questions that have nothing to do with this thread, but I haven't, because I don't want you to feel like I'm invading in your personal space/all of a sudden interviewing you.


This is also clear Fi.
A. I most likely wouldn't warn the person 
B. I'm not so interested in what people see as their personal space

That you ask for permission for asking personal questions fits this really well


> "When an INFP comes up and meets someone, they want to know everything about the person in a very emotional way."


And yes, you can ask whatever question you want as long as it doesn't go against the rules of this forum or such.



> Can the two personalities mix?


To this I'd have to say no.
It's usually your enneagram that messes stuff up and makes you hard to type.
Also, if someone is uncomfortable, but they have to talk to me then I see myself as being in authority and then I'm less likely to go the diplomatic route. I might still be warm in how I speak, but I will be a lot more to the point.


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## Ycat93 (Jan 13, 2013)

Acerbusvenator said:


> @_Ycat93_, you twist everything you read to suit a bias for INFJ.
> You seem to have twisted the first links I posted, the parts I posted from Naomi Quenk, what the guy said in the video Cyamitide posted and my conclusion tho it's quite clear that you are really forcing things to go where you want them to.


Now, I'm beginning to understand my problem with this. Thanks for saying it so bluntly.  That tends to work well with me. Sorry if my confusion/bias is getting on your nerves. I really am trying to figure this all out, but again, as you've mentioned, my bias is getting in the way. I'm starting to see how I'm INFP instead of INFJ now.


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## Ycat93 (Jan 13, 2013)

Whelp, just switched my personality to INFP. We'll see if I stay that way (but I should.)


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## Acerbusvenator (Apr 12, 2011)

Ycat93 said:


> Now, I'm beginning to understand my problem with this. Thanks for saying it so bluntly.  That tends to work well with me. Sorry if my confusion/bias is getting on your nerves. I really am trying to figure this all out, but again, as you've mentioned, my bias is getting in the way. I'm starting to see how I'm INFP instead of INFJ now.


Well, it hasn't gotten on my nerves, but I felt like someone had to say it in a clear way since Cyamitide stopped responding and Myjazz withdrew from the thread. It's also that it doesn't help you if you don't find your real type and become certain of it since it wouldn't help your self development if you focused on developing functions you didn't have like Fi Ne Si Te if you are an INFJ or Ni Fe Ti Se if you are an INFP.


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## Felidire (Jan 12, 2013)

Ycat93 said:


> So, have you figured out your type yet? I just want to see if your findings correlate with mine.


Actually, when I first read your thread, I decided that whatever you were - I was likely the opposite. (There was the stereotypical similarities you'd expect to see from Introverted types, but a fair few of the things that you mentioned felt backwards.)

I concluded that I was neither... and both. XP


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## ElectricHead (Jun 3, 2011)

@Ycat93

After reading, although there were a few things that seemed to lean more toward the general description of INFJ, such as the bus crash and cancer thing, most of it was INFP to me. Much of it could easily be attributed to both types, as in using a feeling preference (the F, whether Fi or Fe)in general. I picked up a A LOT of Fi in there. Someone mentioned Ne and Se differences, I would look at Fi (INFP dominant) and Fe (INFJ aux). 

as @NightTi mentioned, INFJ and INFP really aren't all that alike. Although it was mentioned that INFJ and INTJ are two of a kind, INFP and INFJ are both more alike with INTJ than they are with each other . However, the order in which the functions work off one another would make the INFJ more similar to INTJ, rather than INFP more similar to INTJ. (because the F and T difference of INTJ and INFJ still leave one perceiving the world the same although it's judged differently, while the J and P of INFP and INTJ difference leave them perceiving things differently but judging them similarly, which to me is less of a common factor do to decisions being made (subjectivity compared to objectivity) than the other way around, which is why INFJ and INTJ are more similar with one another)In the same manner, INTP and INFP are two of a kind although INTP has just as many functions in common with both INFP and INFJ. Anyway, I hope I'm not confusing you.


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## Ycat93 (Jan 13, 2013)

If anyone cares, my enneagram results are:
"Your trifix is 2w3, 9w1, 5w6."


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## Acerbusvenator (Apr 12, 2011)

Ycat93 said:


> If anyone cares, my enneagram results are:
> "Your trifix is 2w3, 9w1, 5w6."



Here: http://personalitycafe.com/enneagra...3452-27-tritype-archetype-descriptions-2.html
I don't know if you've seen this: http://personalitycafe.com/type-2-forum-helper/65602-type-two-helper-timeless-description.html


> *Introverted Feeling Types (INFP, ISFP)*
> Introverted Feeling types are concerned more about the essence of a particular subject than the gritty particulars. (This is the opposite for Introverted Thinking types.) IxFP Twos tend to be very accepting of others, as their search for “essence” often leads them to see the good in people where others cannot.


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## Ycat93 (Jan 13, 2013)

^_^ I'm beginning to think you have all these cool links saved on your computer somewhere.  You seem to be prepared for any situation.  

Hmm.. searching for the good in others where others cannot. Might be why I can't hold a grudge, and why I will continually tolerate people I have bad vibes from, but it rarely goes beyond toleration. In reference to the gritty particulars: Details suck.  I can never remember all of them. xD


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## myjazz (Feb 17, 2010)

INFP's are just so cute and squishy


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## Acerbusvenator (Apr 12, 2011)

Ycat93 said:


> ^_^ I'm beginning to think you have all these cool links saved on your computer somewhere.  You seem to be prepared for any situation.


I quite much do have a link for every situation


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## Kallie747 (Jan 19, 2013)

Ycat93 said:


> Hey everyone. I have another “Am I an INFJ or INFP?” thread here. Sorry, if you all are tired of these threads, but it will drive me insane if I don’t have some more certainty into the matter. I need the most correct answer or I’ll just keep searching and drive myself nuts. I guess I need closure, or more accurately, my identity. Yes, it's stupid. Thus, I've decided to ask you all.


You can have split letters in MBTI. For instance I'm 'technically' an INxJ.


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## Acerbusvenator (Apr 12, 2011)

Kallie747 said:


> You can have split letters in MBTI. For instance I'm 'technically' an INxJ.


No, you can't have split "letters" (dichotomies).
INFJ - Ni Fe Ti Se
INTJ - Ni Te Fi Se
Female INTJs are very diplomatic and warm which most likely is an influence from society. That sometimes makes them look like INFJs even tho they are not.


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## Kallie747 (Jan 19, 2013)

"balanced", not split, I did not prefer Ti over Fi by more than a percent or two when I took the test...sorry my terminology was off.


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## Acerbusvenator (Apr 12, 2011)

Kallie747 said:


> "balanced", not split, I did not prefer Ti over Fi by more than a percent or two when I took the test...sorry my terminology was off.


The % in tests is for certainty, not strength.


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## Kallie747 (Jan 19, 2013)

Acerbusvenator said:


> The % in tests is for certainty, not strength.


Um, my cousin begs to differ, and I usually find what my cousin says to be rather accurate. Just to clarify though, you're saying that if I scored 1% Thinking that means I'm just as much a Thinking type as someone who scores 100%? Because that's definitely NOT how I interpreted the test, and not what the books I've read have implied.


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## Kallie747 (Jan 19, 2013)

Just to clarify, I'm not trying to be rude at all, I'm honestly curious. I haven't put much thought into this and want to understand it better. You seem to have a very concrete opinion on the matter, care to expound?


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## NighTi (Jan 1, 2013)

Kallie747 said:


> You can have split letters in MBTI. For instance I'm 'technically' an INxJ.


This can happen only if you ignore function attitude.

INFJ = NiFeTiSe
INTJ = NiTeFiSe

Both types have the same dominant function, introverted intuition (Ni). This makes them very similar, and easy to confuse. The difference lies in the middle two functions. They're not just reversed. They have opposite attitudes. INFJs generally find their values outwardly and perform their mechanics inwardly. INTJs generally do precisely the opposite.

It is absolutely _not the case_ that INTJs think more and INFJs feel more. That's a common misunderstanding based on an oversimplification of Jung's model. In fact, there is some speculation that Jung intended for us to see the second and third functions as similar in strength. In other words, for the Fx and Tx in the middle, attitude is much more important than order. INFJs use Fe and Ti. INTJs use Fi and Te. 

For many years, I was convinced I was INTJ. My test results continue to show INTJ consistently because they don't detect the attitude of any function beyond the first. Focus on auxiliary and tertiary function attitude and the error becomes obvious. NiTiFeSe is not INTJ. It's INFJ bent out of shape.


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## Acerbusvenator (Apr 12, 2011)

Kallie747 said:


> Um, my cousin begs to differ, and I usually find what my cousin says to be rather accurate. Just to clarify though, you're saying that if I scored 1% Thinking that means I'm just as much a Thinking type as someone who scores 100%? Because that's definitely NOT how I interpreted the test, and not what the books I've read have implied.


If you do a test on the internet and it tells you that you got 1% thinking then that means that there's 1% probability that you are a thinker and 99% possibility of you being a feeler. What I think you meant to say is 51% thinker which means that there's a 49% chance of you being a feeler.

I'd suggest ignoring tests completely if it's not the official one. Even that one can be wrong tho.


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## Kallie747 (Jan 19, 2013)

NighTi said:


> This can happen only if you ignore function attitude.
> 
> INFJ = NiFeTiSe
> INTJ = NiTeFiSe
> ...


So how could one figure out which one was REALLY their dominant function? What exactly is the difference in finding your values outwardly from finding them inwardly? Same with performing mechanics. Can you give an example or suggest a book?


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## Kallie747 (Jan 19, 2013)

Acerbusvenator said:


> If you do a test on the internet and it tells you that you got 1% thinking then that means that there's 1% probability that you are a thinker and 99% possibility of you being a feeler. What I think you meant to say is 51% thinker which means that there's a 49% chance of you being a feeler.


Um, that makes no sense. If there was a 99% chance of me being a Fi, why doesn't it just say I'm an INFJ?


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## NighTi (Jan 1, 2013)

*@Acerbusvenator* and I are saying essentially the same thing, but he posts faster than I do.



Kallie747 said:


> So how could one figure out which one was REALLY their dominant function? What exactly is the difference in finding your values outwardly from finding them inwardly? Same with performing mechanics. Can you give an example or suggest a book?


I would start by going straight to the source: _Gifts Differing _by Isabel Myers. She's the M in MBTI. PersonalityCafe has some good articles too, like this one: Articles - Summary of the Cognitive Functions .


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## NighTi (Jan 1, 2013)

Kallie747 said:


> Um, that makes no sense. If there was a 99% chance of me being a Fi, why doesn't it just say I'm an INFJ?


One reason is that INFJs strongly prefer Fe over Fi. There is a huge difference, but the online tests don't detect it.


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## Acerbusvenator (Apr 12, 2011)

Kallie747 said:


> Um, that makes no sense. If there was a 99% chance of me being a Fi, why doesn't it just say I'm an INFJ?


INFJs don't have Fi... INFJs have Fe.

FPs and TJs got Fi and Te
FJs and TPs got Fe and Ti.

When it comes to your question, I guess that you have to ask the people who made it or you need to figure out what the probability actually is.
The tests usually don't go bellow 50% because then it turns around towards the other dichotomy. (aka. 51% thinking, unknown, 51% feeling.)


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## Kallie747 (Jan 19, 2013)

So I would just be an INTJ with Fi...am I getting this?


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## Acerbusvenator (Apr 12, 2011)

Kallie747 said:


> So I would just be an INTJ with Fi...am I getting this?


Yea, just like the other TJs and FPs.


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## Kallie747 (Jan 19, 2013)

Thanks, always nice to understand a new topic better!


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## Ycat93 (Jan 13, 2013)

For some reason, I am thoroughly enjoying this conversation. Does it count as stalking on a conversation if it's posted on my thread? xD Random question: Do you get frustrated when people mis-type as your personality type and you know they are mis-typed?


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## Kallie747 (Jan 19, 2013)

Ycat93 said:


> xD Random question: Do you get frustrated when people mis-type as your personality type and you know they are mis-typed?


YES. To the extent of me making them take the test because they just "think" they're my type...lol


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## NighTi (Jan 1, 2013)

Kallie747 said:


> So I would just be an INTJ with Fi...am I getting this?


Yes, if you assume that your dominant function is introverted intuition (Ni). I would be careful with this assumption, however. For an INTJ, Fi is tertiary. Depending on other factors, the Fi may or may not be obvious.

Contrast this with INFPs, for whom Fi is dominant. Take Fi away from an INFP and there's almost nothing left.

Dominant function is a _huge deal_. It's far more important than the second and third functions combined. It's your preferred mode of living. If you want to understand yourself, be sure that you become clear about your dominant function first.


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## Kallie747 (Jan 19, 2013)

my dominant function is Ne, since after reading the description I think I use Ne a *little* bit more. The difference is almost imperceptible though. I use both a lot. What does that change? (feel free to let me if you get bored, lol, I just have nothing else to do at the moment..)


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## marckos (May 6, 2011)

Kallie747;3337191[B said:


> ]my dominant function is Ne, since after reading the description I think I use Ne a *little* bit more[/B]. The difference is almost imperceptible though. I use both a lot. What does that change? (feel free to let me if you get bored, lol, I just have nothing else to do at the moment..)


.____.???


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## Acerbusvenator (Apr 12, 2011)

Kallie747 said:


> my dominant function is Ne, since after reading the description I think I use Ne a *little* bit more. The difference is almost imperceptible though. I use both a lot. What does that change? (feel free to let me if you get bored, lol, I just have nothing else to do at the moment..)


Ne is explosive (expands outward), Ni is implosive.
If your dominant function is Ne, then you are either an ENFP or an ENTP.


Kallie747 said:


> YES. To the extent of me making them take the test because they just "think" they're my type...lol


Makes that a bit ironic 

Oh and never trust tests to tell the truth, it's as accurate as the "what personality disorder do I have" tests around the web.

EDIT: You don't use both Ni and Ne, just one of them.


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## NighTi (Jan 1, 2013)

Kallie747 said:


> my dominant function is Ne, since after reading the description I think I use Ne a *little* bit more. The difference is almost imperceptible though. I use both a lot. What does that change? (feel free to let me if you get bored, lol, I just have nothing else to do at the moment..)


You're just at the beginning. Take it slowly. The world may swirl around you for a while, but it will stabilize.

If your _dominant_ function is Ne, then you are either ENFP (NeFiTeSi) or ENTP (NeTiFeSi), but I wouldn't be so quick to jump to either of those.

Jung's theory is based on habitual choice between opposites. Every time you exercise one function, you make it stronger and its opposite weaker. If you exercise Ne, you weaken its functional opposite Se. You also weaken its attitude opposite Ni. 

One way to think about this is that the functions compete for your attention, so they dislike one another. They don't dislike one another equally, however. Some pairs get along better than others. Your first four functions are your dominant plus the other three that it finds the least objectionable.

Opposites that compete for the same space get along the worst. Ne and Se don't get along because they compete for the extraverted perceiving space. Ne and Ni don't get along because they compete for the intuition space. Ne and Fi can tolerate one another because one is an extraverted perceiving function and the other is an introverted judging function. They don't compete for exactly the same space.

My point is that you can't live well with Ne and Ni side by side in your mind. They will tear each other apart and make a huge mess in the process. To preserve your sanity, you must choose one and kick the other out.


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## Kallie747 (Jan 19, 2013)

There isn't any way I'm an extrovert. :-/ Or that I have Fe or Fi, I pretty much don't use either of those at all only Fi a little. It is true that I don't use Ne and Ni at the same time. But I will find myself thinking of things or just fantasizing from a Ni point of view when I'm alone (which I prefer). Whereas when I'm actually around people and facing real situations I use Ne to take what I hear and make conclusions off of it.


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## Kallie747 (Jan 19, 2013)

Just for the record I'm absolutely sure I'm an INTJ, and I don't resonate with any of the other types. I'm just curious and want to understand the intricacies of MBTI better, it not only will help me understand myself better, but will help me analyze others too..


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## Ellis Bell (Mar 16, 2012)

Kallie747 said:


> There isn't any way I'm an extrovert. :-/ Or that I have Fe or Fi, I pretty much don't use either of those at all only Fi a little. It is true that I don't use Ne and Ni at the same time. But I will find myself thinking of things or just fantasizing from a Ni point of view when I'm alone (which I prefer). Whereas when I'm actually around people and facing real situations I use Ne to take what I hear and make conclusions off of it.


What I would recommend doing is reading up on the functions and theory a little bit more.


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## Acerbusvenator (Apr 12, 2011)

Kallie747 said:


> Whereas when I'm actually around people and facing real situations I use Ne to take what I hear and make conclusions off of it.


Probably NiTe. Te is a lot about applying things and there's no exact line between the functions, they cooperate to achieve things. Also, Ni is more about making conclusions than Ne is.


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## NighTi (Jan 1, 2013)

Kallie747 said:


> There isn't any way I'm an extrovert. :-/ Or that I have Fe or Fi, I pretty much don't use either of those at all only Fi a little.


I see no reason to believe that you're suffering from a severe mental illness, so you _must_ have either Fe or Fi somewhere in your first four functions. F is how you decide what is important. Without either Fe or Fi, you would have no values.



Kallie747 said:


> It is true that I don't use Ne and Ni at the same time. But I will find myself thinking of things or just fantasizing from a Ni point of view when I'm alone (which I prefer). Whereas when I'm actually around people and facing real situations I use Ne to take what I hear and make conclusions off of it.


You understand Jung's point that you can't use both a function and its opposite at the same time. That's good.

The functions and their opposites can be hard to understand. This is especially true if you use one so much that its opposite disappears deep into your unconscious mind. As an Ni dominant, I freely admit that I don't understand Ne at all and am completely clueless about Si. I can't even provide a coherent description of it that doesn't plagiarize. 

My auxiliary is Fe, but I think I have some understanding of Fi, but that's only because I'm married to an Fi dominant so have plenty of opportunity to consider how my feeling function differs from hers. It's so different that, when we're discussing what is important to us, we often talk straight past one another. We can't be in conflict because we're not even on the same planet.

I'm asking you to slow down, read many different sources, and avoid jumping to conclusions. This stuff can get fuzzy and complicated. It's perfectly fine to be confused about it.


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## MikeyLightning (Nov 30, 2012)

Ycat93 said:


> Hmm.. searching for the good in others where others cannot. Might be why I can't hold a grudge, and why I will continually tolerate people I have bad vibes from, but it rarely goes beyond toleration. In reference to the gritty particulars: Details suck.  I can never remember all of them. xD



Because of the links I was about to declare myself INFJ but because of your quotes like these I really can't settle on one... If anyone would be willing to check out my thread a little down the "whats my personality type" page its "Please confirm my type." it could help. I started out sure I was INFP then someone in the thread changed my mind but considering he doesn't seem to understand Fi and understands Fe a little I'm not sure if he explained it quite right(or I may have even misinterpreted). Its all running together for me and it feels like chemistry class all over again when I got endothermic and exothermic backwards all the time. Just as a disclaimer the thread is a bit of a mess so don't bother if it would take too much time and I cannot guarantee 100% accuracy as I was trying to throw everything out there before I regretted saying the things and wrote some idealized, biased version of how I feel (which I think its still a bit of that but maybe more dramatic than idealized).


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## Ycat93 (Jan 13, 2013)

I'm right there with you @MikeyLightning. When it comes to understanding the difference between Fi and Fe, I draw up a blank and can only trust others when they say I use Fi. xD I get especially confused when the definitions I've read (even on your thread) talk about Fe being used to worry about other people, while Fi users worry about themselves. I'm very much driven to make sure others are happy, which may include me keeping my viewpoints to myself/apologizing for something I think may offend them. With that said, if they ask for my viewpoint, I will give it gently if I believe they will protest. I pretty much tailor my actions to please the group. If I hurt someone else's feelings, I immediately try to make them feel better; I try to make them feel better even if I didn't make them feel sad--I want everyone to be happy. It's even to the point where I sometimes stop mid-word when I'm saying something mean (like I literally can't be mean to people.) That problem is usually with strangers and I'm more easily able to be jokingly mean with close friends.


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## MikeyLightning (Nov 30, 2012)

@Ycat93 that sounds really familiar. I have a tendency to backtrack to make sure that I say things in a way the would be the most agreeable to who I'm talking to. With people I'm close to I can see it in their eyes if they don't agree and I often cut them off to explain what I mean.

I guess I'll go with what was suggested for you (INFP) until further notice because otherwise I would continue to be indecisive for an indefinite amount of time and not use the INFP sub-forum (I know its irrational to actually avoid it but I would feel bad if I called it my PerC home without calling myself and INFP) and miss out on an opportunity to witness people who think similar to me that I don't get to see in real life(or at least that I don't notice). :laughing<-meant to be more of a chuckle)


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## Felidire (Jan 12, 2013)

Ycat93 said:


> I'm right there with you @_MikeyLightning_. When it comes to understanding the difference between Fi and Fe, I draw up a blank and can only trust others when they say I use Fi. xD I get especially confused when the definitions I've read (even on your thread) talk about Fe being used to worry about other people, while Fi users worry about themselves.


Perhaps you'll benefit more from hearing it in the words of someone else who's fairly new. xD

From what i've seen, 50% of people seem to explain them backwards, making an Fi sound entirely like an Fe user, and vice versa. (This is _very_ frustrating, and it makes learning the processes that much more difficult for new people (like myself.))

As far as I know - Fe is focused externally, and its primarily concerned with the subtleties, shifts and alterations of its surrounding environment. It's versatile, and it would easily pick up on all of the little details and adjust itself in accordance to those external factors. (I did this a LOT when I was... Well, I actually _still_ do it a lot! XD which means that it must be a rather developed function.)

Fi is introverted, so first and foremost it would be more concerned with itself; its base values; self-integrity - For instance: "Oh look, that person is crying. Why are they crying? Do I want to comfort them? Would others expect me to comfort them? _Do they deserve my sympathy_? Is it considered 'bad' if I don't try to alleviate their suffering?" - Fi is assessing and *judging *(yeah, sounds funny as an INF*P*, right?) and _initially_ dealing with everything _internally_.

I don't think that Fi would _want _to help the person, if in doing so, it made them feel "untrue to themselves." Whereas, I think that someone using the Fe would freely and _instantly_ adapt to the situation; they'd probably act sad, their expression would mirror that of the distraught person in an attempt to 'meet them on the same level', makes them feel 'not alone', easiest way to bring them back up to that 'neutral point'.

...and for all I know, I could've just explained the two entirely backwards. So hopefully someone calls me out on that! XD

It's Fi Ne vs Ni Fe - and the way that they react is so distinct, yet, it seems so indistinguishable at the same time (at least when you're trying to assess yoursef.)


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## myjazz (Feb 17, 2010)

Ycat93 said:


> I'm right there with you @_MikeyLightning_. When it comes to understanding the difference between Fi and Fe, I draw up a blank and can only trust others when they say I use Fi. xD I get especially confused when the definitions I've read (even on your thread) talk about Fe being used to worry about other people, while Fi users worry about themselves. I'm very much driven to make sure others are happy, which may include me keeping my viewpoints to myself/apologizing for something I think may offend them. With that said, if they ask for my viewpoint, I will give it gently if I believe they will protest. I pretty much tailor my actions to please the group. If I hurt someone else's feelings, I immediately try to make them feel better; I try to make them feel better even if I didn't make them feel sad--I want everyone to be happy. It's even to the point where I sometimes stop mid-word when I'm saying something mean (like I literally can't be mean to people.) That problem is usually with strangers and I'm more easily able to be jokingly mean with close friends.


This is one of the main reasons Stereotypes just irritates me on some level. It's not oh you are misconstruing an idea or anything like that. It's this right here what you post is an example of how stereotyping and perverse notions that spread about and can affect people in not just understanding of something but in themselves. The only thing feasibly good that can come out of it, is that it can make the person really look hard in themselves if they are willing instead of just going ah okay nice box you gave me. IMO, people who want to theorize and those who don't really know should stay in those bounds and stop professing it to other people as it is the truth. Of course in this I am not saying at all that I am all knowing and may myself fall in one or both of those categories..


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## stardeep (Jan 15, 2013)

Ycat93 said:


> INFJs, do you find yourselves cold and heartless?


(late to the party here). Yes. It's a tension in me, where I get very dismissive (nonempathetic) of others close to me, and it seems to come sometimes from a self protection mechanism. For those NOT close to me, I can be at times, internally, a judgemental jackass. 

Yet, I will cry when I see a single old man crossing the street. LOL.


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## Ycat93 (Jan 13, 2013)

stardeep said:


> (late to the party here). Yes. It's a tension in me, where I get very dismissive (nonempathetic) of others close to me, and it seems to come sometimes from a self protection mechanism. For those NOT close to me, I can be at times, internally, a judgemental jackass.
> 
> Yet, I will cry when I see a single old man crossing the street. LOL.


Don't worry, you are fashionably late, so it's all right. ^_^ I can do that too, but I think I only do that if they are doing something stupid. For example, my dad complains 24/7 and when I am in the same room as him, I just stop listening. I don't feel bad for him because someone made him upset; I just want him to shut up. xD Also, when I'm busy, I ignore others talking to me (usually busy inside of my head haha.) I could be a pretty judgmental person as well if I allowed it. When I find myself making a judgement, I throw the thought out of my head, regardless if it is true or not. I'm struggling to be non-judgmental. Thanks for your input!


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## stardeep (Jan 15, 2013)

Ycat93 said:


> when I'm busy, I ignore others talking to me (usually busy inside of my head haha.) I could be a pretty judgmental person as well if I allowed it. When I find myself making a judgement, I throw the thought out of my head, regardless if it is true or not. I'm struggling to be non-judgmental. Thanks for your input!


yes, yes, me as well with the busy! Hahah.

and like you, I am also working on my judgement. It's an everyday practice that requires a lot of mindfulness. 

My mind moves quickly. What helps me get out of judgement (or internal anxiety) cycles is to focus on the physical. Deep breaths, attention to my physical body and its sensations. It slows me down enough (when I can remember to do it) to get new perspective. maybe that is an idea for you.


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## TheCatsPajamas (Jan 16, 2013)

I know how how you feel. I'm an INFP who tests INFJ half the time. I know how confusing it feels to not know what you are. For me personally, I've decided it comes down to my mood from day-to-day. Since you've numbered your reasons in your post, then that leans toward INFJ. And since you've tested INFJ so many times before, I'd say INFJ. But when it comes down to it, INFP or INFJ, you're still you.  Hope this helps.


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## Ycat93 (Jan 13, 2013)

stardeep said:


> yes, yes, me as well with the busy! Hahah.
> 
> and like you, I am also working on my judgement. It's an everyday practice that requires a lot of mindfulness.
> 
> My mind moves quickly. What helps me get out of judgement (or internal anxiety) cycles is to focus on the physical. Deep breaths, attention to my physical body and its sensations. It slows me down enough (when I can remember to do it) to get new perspective. maybe that is an idea for you.


Hmm... Maybe that's something I should try out. 

Ignoring people when I'm busy leads to very awkward Skype conversations (for the other person.) I video chat with close friends, so they know I'm still there. xD (I'm usually researching something totally random that I have an interest in) This is how the conversation goes:
Them: Hey, do you want to know what happened to me today?
Me: mmm
Them: I got smacked in the face with a walrus and then Cal laughed at me and I cried and then the Earth blew up. 
Me: mmm
*10 seconds of silence pass*
Me: Wait, can you repeat that? All I heard was smacked, Walrus, and I cried.
Them: *they repeat it*
Me (thinking): Whelp... still didn't hear it. *continue reading internet page I'm on*
*Repeat this dialogue for about an hour and wonder why the other person is still staring at you in front of their computer*
I love my friends xD They are dedicated  Is it bad that I don't feel guilty for ignoring them?


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## stardeep (Jan 15, 2013)

Ycat93 said:


> *Repeat this dialogue for about an hour and wonder why the other person is still staring at you in front of their computer*
> I love my friends xD They are dedicated  Is it bad that I don't feel guilty for ignoring them?


well. Regardless of how dedicated they are, I think that's some of your introvert there. (Maybe the IN? I'm not an mbti sage by any means). Not sure about you, but I can't do chitchat. It darn near puts me to sleep. Unless it's written chitchat on a forum like this!


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