# What if the NFJs and the NFPs went to war.... with each other?!



## athenian200

mushr00m said:


> Yes, I was just speaking to our distant ISTP friends, some of whom are putting together some nice perception influencing poison arrows, specifically designed to distort the Ni visions, the problem to deal with now is that pesky Ti. Te versus Ti? Perhaps I could speak to the ISTP's again seeing as they could possibly come up with some contraption to overlay Ti as they know best! :kitteh:


This is the depravity of the enemy, comrades! This was just a battle between NFPs and NFJs, but the NFP _cowards_ have escalated the conflict by calling in their allies! Does this not prove that they have no interest in peace?!

There's only one way to fight this alliance... with our own. The SPs have sided with the NFPs... so that leaves the SJs and the NTs. We'll need our best diplomats working on calling for reinforcements.

Now, I have a few friends among the NTs, although I don't know how much help that will be... they make decisions impersonally, and may not support us if they think we're going to lose or they have nothing to gain. Keep this in mind during negotiations.

This war has just reached the next level. If we don't win now, we're going to be annihilated. 






Good luck, diplomats, and all comrades...


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## DustyWind

Day *XY*,
The enemy is truly going crazy. They're posting their thoughts on the forum for all of us to see. Some weird chant as well. I'm doing the same, in hopes of confusing them. 

Damn, I shouldn't have written that.

We are low on rations and morale. Joan gave it her all, but in the end she was taken down by the _Independent National French Inquisition_ (*INFI*). I just realized that it's just one letter from *INFJ*. Those bastards.

It seems there is no hope for winning this. I have tried contacting the others. Responses from comrades were mostly: "*BRB currently crying*." 

All is l- wait. What is this? No, it couldn't be! YES! OH MY *GO-*








*THE NFP GOD HAS AWAKENED! NONE SHALL BE SPARED! 
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Nicolas Cage R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!​*


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## Magnesium

DustyWind said:


> *THE NFP GOD HAS AWAKENED! NONE SHALL BE SPARED!
> Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Nicolas Cage R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!​*



This is the problem with NFPs, you don't plan, _and just run with ideas_. 
You just unleashed *The Cage* from your own base of operations. It is now in ruins.


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## Magnesium

delphi367 said:


> This is the depravity of the enemy, comrades! This was just a battle between NFPs and NFJs, but the NFP _cowards_ have escalated the conflict by calling in their allies! Does this not prove that they have no interest in peace?!
> 
> There's only one way to fight this alliance... with our own. The SPs have sided with the NFPs... so that leaves the SJs and the NTs. We'll need our best diplomats working on calling for reinforcements.
> 
> Now, I have a few friends among the NTs, although I don't know how much help that will be... they make decisions impersonally, and may not support us if they think we're going to lose or they have nothing to gain. Keep this in mind during negotiations.
> 
> This war has just reached the next level. If we don't win now, we're going to be annihilated.
> 
> 
> Good luck, diplomats, and all comrades...


Seid ihr das Essen? 
Nein, wir sind der Jäger!


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## DustyWind

Magnesium said:


> This is the problem with NFPs, you don't plan, _and just run with ideas_.
> You just unleashed *The Cage* from your own base of operations. It is now in ruins.


I don't know what you're talking about. He seems alright to me. You alright there Nic?










Uh, Nic, you're standing a little too close there. Would you mind backi-










*WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!?*


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## Magnesium

NFPS love disney, right?










There. There's some mental scarring for you. ^^


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## Pucca

Magnesium said:


> NFPS love disney, right?
> 
> 
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> 
> 
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> 
> 
> 
> There. There's some mental scarring for you. ^^


Lol! You just motivated all the INFPs and saved the ENFPs from boredom. I feel refreshed. :kitteh:


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## gh0st

Magnesium said:


> NFPS love disney, right?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> There. There's some mental scarring for you. ^^


Excuse me as I squeal. >~<










And as for Mental Scarring (which is delightful), you've seen nothing. ;D


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## DustyWind

It seems NFJs are winning the battle. WHAT SAY YOU CAGE?!










Aye. Shit.


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## Kindlings

BTW- the amount of photoshopped images on Nicholas Cage on the internet is astounding.


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## DustyWind




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## Morfy

Please no more D: I give up


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## Kindlings

Morfinyon said:


> Please no more D: I give up


NFJs are on their last leg...

Release the Kraken!


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## Pinkieshyrose

While everyone is in war mode. I build a multicolored giant war pony with other ENFPS . While listening to music. Fill it with INFP and me. Keep then in there. Get out and act like I was always there.
With my 9w1ness( Second on my tritype. )I act like a NFJ then become a NFJ princess... Let loose the INFPS. 
Then call in the ENFPs we take your camp and put everyone in the naughty corner. :tongue:

The end. :tongue:


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## Magnesium

Morfinyon said:


> NFJs are on their last leg..





Kindlings said:


> Release the Kraken!


Again, more INFPs un-considered spontaneity causing them to trip up. Morfinyon is one of your own. You've released Calvin on your own kind.


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## athenian200

Pinkieshyrose said:


> While everyone is in war mode. I build a multicolored giant war pony with other ENFPS . While listening to music. Fill it with INFP and me. Keep then in there. Get out and act like I was always there.
> With my 9w1ness( Second on my tritype. )I act like a NFJ then become a NFJ princess... Let loose the INFPS.
> *Then call in the ENFPs we take your camp* and put everyone in the naughty corner. :tongue:
> 
> The end. :tongue:


Are you SURE that was our main camp? 

You guys don't even wear uniforms, or have any common code of behavior, they might well have been INFPs. xD


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## DustyWind

In all seriousness, this is the internet. 

NFPs (Ps in general) will ultimately win, because internet=randomness and let's be honest, you guys couldn't dig your way out of a pile of Barry White albums dumped on your head even if you tried.

In reality, though, NFJs win, because Hitler, Bin Laden, Yasser Arafat, Goebbels, and other NFJs


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## justjay

We would probably become allies, and kill a shitload of SJ's.


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## Kindlings

Magnesium said:


> Again, more INFPs un-considered spontaneity causing them to trip up. Morfinyon is one of your own. You've released Calvin on your own kind.


Oh come on! Come up with a better counter attack!

Ok- Calvin pretended to attack our camp to lull you into a sense of complacency. The NFPs secretly surrounded your camp from all sides wearing your uniforms. We then launched an attack from all sides with Calvin attacking your headquarters and demolishing your organizing abilities! Without the ability to organize the NFPs creativity and improvisation leaves the NFJs no choice but surrender.


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## athenian200

DustyWind said:


> In all seriousness, this is the internet.
> 
> NFPs (Ps in general) will ultimately win, because internet=randomness and let's be honest, you guys couldn't dig your way out of a pile of Barry White albums dumped on your head even if you tried.


Internet also equals technology. Do you think NFJs can't figure out how to bring down your computers with an EMP or something? Hehe.



> In reality, though, NFJs win, because Hitler, Bin Laden, Yasser Arafat, Goebbels, and other NFJs


Well, they aren't the examples I would have chosen, but they are sufficient.


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## Morfy

I don't think any of the listed (Hitler, Goebbels, Bin Laden, Arafat) were "winners"


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## athenian200

Morfinyon said:


> I don't think any of the listed (Hitler, Goebbels, Bin Laden, Arafat) were "winners"


They were defeated by ESTPs and other ExTx's, though, some of the best warriors/leaders. And they fought very well up until they were defeated. 

Do you think INFPs can exploit the same weaknesses so easily and win the same way?


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## DustyWind

delphi367 said:


> They were defeated by ESTPs and other ExTx's, though, some of the best warriors/leaders. And they fought very well up until they were defeated.
> 
> Do you think INFPs can exploit the same weaknesses so easily and win the same way?


We set ourselves on fire for a cause and nothing changes. Which works for me, because humankind is scum. 

Oh, look, a bird.

Btw, the internet is a series od tubes, and those tubes are full of cats. Trust me, I'm an engineer.


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## Kindlings

So is the lack of counter attacks a sign of admitted defeat?


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## athenian200

Kindlings said:


> So is the lack of counter attacks a sign of admitted defeat?


The NFPs try to surround the NFJs, thinking they've won...

And suddenly, a huge detachment of NFJs comes up from behind them with machine guns and tanks purchased from the NTs and SJs. They are very angry and determined.

They fight bitterly for 3 days. The NFJs come out on top, but not easily...

Casualty report:

300 NFJs dead, 200 wounded.

3,000 NFPs dead, the entire offense force that was surrounding us.

Both armies are suffering greatly and having difficultly avoiding emotional breakdown. 

The NFJs won that battle... but at the rate at which we are dying, who knows how long we can continue the war? All we can do is press on hoping for a better tomorrow...


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## FearAndTrembling

Morfinyon said:


> I don't think any of the listed (Hitler, Goebbels, Bin Laden, Arafat) were "winners"


At least they fought. Hitler for example had a large portion of Europe under his control. bin Laden had a good attack on the world's only Superpower, etc.


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## Pinkieshyrose

delphi367 said:


> Are you SURE that was our main camp?
> 
> You guys don't even wear uniforms, or have any common code of behavior, they might well have been INFPs. xD


Exactly your all in uniforms so we could tell who you are... :tongue: Uniforms fail. :tongue:


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## FakeLefty

As an STP, I could engineer good weapons AND recklessly dive into battle and frighten the enemy. Not sure whose side I'll be on, though. Should I be a mercenary?


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## gestalt

This is getting slightly less hug-oriented

Nevertheless, I distract the ENFJs with a fake charity meeting. I enlist the ISTP to go suicide bomb them.

I cry a little bit but mostly on the inside.


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## Morfy

I cry a lot over the brutal and hateful deed ;_;


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## FakeLefty

gestalt said:


> This is getting slightly less hug-oriented
> 
> Nevertheless, I distract the ENFJs with a fake charity meeting. I enlist the ISTP to go suicide bomb them.
> 
> I cry a little bit but mostly on the inside.


The ISTP goes on a suicide mission with makeshift, yet brilliant, weapons. And raze the NFJ camp down to the ground. And come back completely unscathed. 

But is very disturbed by the emotional response of the NFPs


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## athenian200

FakeLefty said:


> The ISTP goes on a suicide mission with makeshift, yet brilliant, weapons. And raze the NFJ camp down to the ground. And come back completely unscathed.


He's... killed me...

*cough* *cough*

The... war... is lost. *cough* We can't fight SPs... too strong for us...

*death rattle*


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## Morfy

delphi367 said:


> He's... killed me...
> 
> *cough* *cough*
> 
> The... war... is lost. *cough* We can't fight SPs... too strong for us...
> 
> *death rattle*


N…no please don't die D: We can make it out of this place of terror in which the air is impregnated with hate and the smell of drying blood and fire.


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## FakeLefty

The ISTP brigade then proceeds to march to the 2nd biggest NFJ stronghold, but decides to take a shortcut through the land of the ESTJs. This proves to be a costly decision as the ISTP engage in a separate month-long battle with heavy casualties of whopping 70,000 total. The battle turns out to be a stalemate as the ESTJ's iron will and force is countered by ISTP engineering abilities and "I don't give a damn about the costs" mentality. 

At the end of the battle the ESTP army decides to engage the ESTJs, just because they can. The ESTJs call upon the ISTJs and the ISTPs returned to the battle once more. At the end of another month 80,000 are added to casualties list.


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## Morfy

FakeLefty said:


> The ISTP brigade then proceeds to march to the 2nd biggest NFJ stronghold, but decides to take a shortcut through the land of the ESTJs. This proves to be a costly decision as the ISTP engage in a separate month-long battle with heavy casualties of whopping 70,000 total. The battle turns out to be a stalemate as the ESTJ's iron will and force is countered by ISTP engineering abilities and "I don't give a damn about the costs" mentality.
> 
> At the end of the battle the ESTP army decides to engage the ESTJs, just because they can. The ESTJs call upon the ISTJs and the ISTPs returned to the battle once more. At the end of another month 80,000 are added to casualties list.


… can we just go back to hugging? ;_;


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## FakeLefty

Morfinyon said:


> … can we just go back to hugging? ;_;


For the time being, while the xSTPs recuperate from their battles against the xSTJs.


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## Morfy

FakeLefty said:


> For the time being, while the xSTPs recuperate from their battles against the xSTJs.


Can we hug them as well? ;A;


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## FakeLefty

Morfinyon said:


> Can we hug them as well? ;A;


We're allergic to touchy-feely stuff.

Anyway,

The xSTPs recuperate. The ISTPs and ESTPs decide to join forces to create a massive xSTP army and march on towards the NFJ stronghold. They leave a trail of destruction as they march and reach the stronghold. By the time they get there they realize that the stronghold is protected by fluffy and feely things (which they are highly averse to), so they begin a siege.


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## Morfy

The NFs get over their stupid conflict and the INFPs are the first ones to rush to aid the INFJs. Their unleashed anger drives fear right into the xSTPs hearts


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## FakeLefty

The ESTPs use their stored potential energy from the boring siege and their natural explosive energy to outmaneuver the INFPs. The INFPs, with their rage still holds their own and the battle results in a stalemate, and then breaks down into endless guerrilla warfare and close combat.

The ISTPs say "Screw it," and charge headfirst into the NFJ stronghold. The fluffiness costs hundreds of ISTPs their sanity, but eventually they break through the defenses.


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## an absurd man

StaceofBass said:


> It seemed like a good idea at the time... :sad:


:sad:

Here's Obama on his battle unicorn, my contribution to the NFP war effort. :kitteh:


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## DustyWind

In the end, nobody gave a hoot about this war. Most NTs laughed and pointed. The extroverted SPs and STs were out partying. The introverted ones died at sea. 

The NFJs took it too seriously. The NFPs did also at first, but now they're bored because things aren't moving as fast as they wanted. The NFPs are slowly retreating. Their values have shifted onto something else - sounds like a noble move, but they just got hungry. 

Unfortunately, waking the god Cage and the god Calvin has unwittingly brought another demon-god from the depths of hell.


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## 7rr7s

The NFPs call for a meeting with the leaders of the NFJs to negotiate a truce. As soon as all of the leaders of the NFJs are assembled, the NFPs ambush them Red Wedding style leaving the NFJs leaderless and in shock. 

Shadow mode bitches. RUTHLESS!

The NFPs offer the NFJs a chance to surrender and join our cuddle orgy. 

And somewhere Nic Cage is doing good things for the cause.


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## Morfy

KindOfBlue06 said:


> The NFPs call for a meeting with the leaders of the NFJs to negotiate a truce. As soon as all of the leaders of the NFJs are assembled, the NFPs ambush them Red Wedding style leaving the NFJs leaderless and in shock.
> 
> Shadow mode bitches. RUTHLESS!
> 
> The NFPs offer the NFJs a chance to surrender and join our cuddle orgy.
> 
> And somewhere Nic Cage is doing good things for the cause.


But i don't want to kill NFJs ;_; They are so cool and cuddly, i'd feel terrible


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## 7rr7s

Morfinyon said:


> But i don't want to kill NFJs ;_; They are so cool and cuddly, i'd feel terrible


Wars have casualties. We can put you in charge of assisting the wounded, so you can help them. ...Once they surrender.


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## Kindlings

KindOfBlue06 said:


> The NFPs call for a meeting with the leaders of the NFJs to negotiate a truce. As soon as all of the leaders of the NFJs are assembled, the NFPs ambush them Red Wedding style leaving the NFJs leaderless and in shock.
> 
> Shadow mode bitches. RUTHLESS!
> 
> The NFPs offer the NFJs a chance to surrender and join our cuddle orgy.
> 
> And somewhere Nic Cage is doing good things for the cause.


Annnddd by red wedding you mean a Valentines day themed merging of NFJs to their compatible NFPs. 

The NF army is solidly unified 

(NFPs can't do bloody massacre we would fall apart after)


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## PaladinRoland

Jwing24 said:


> I would probably be a deserter and try to live in a cave or something far away until the war was over.


Yes, we both are going to hide in a cave until everything is over. :kitteh:


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## mushr00m

FakeLefty said:


> As an STP, I could engineer good weapons AND recklessly dive into battle and frighten the enemy. Not sure whose side I'll be on, though. Should I be a mercenary?


We already invaded your island. :ninja: The NFJ's were too slow.



FakeLefty said:


> The ESTPs use their stored potential energy from the boring siege and their natural explosive energy to outmaneuver the INFPs. The INFPs, with their rage still holds their own and the battle results in a stalemate, and then breaks down into endless guerrilla warfare and close combat.
> 
> The ISTPs say "Screw it," and charge headfirst into the NFJ stronghold. The fluffiness costs hundreds of ISTPs their sanity, but eventually they break through the defenses.


Traitor! 



FakeLefty said:


> And a group of INFP youths begin the second hippie movement, which then creates an era of really good music. The ISFPs notice and also take part in the music-making.


Our NFP government seizes control of it's youth and Apocalypse style and brainwashes them with mind altering cocktails, Jimi Hendrix music and forces them to live in teepees on big grassy fields. We already control the SP islands. And now we are plotting to inch our way through the NT government headquarters starting with the NTP offices. We had setbacks on our plans to disguise ourselves as NTJ's when confronted by ENTJ guard and his fellow ENTP henchmen, they finally have good relations after years of bickering over who was going to call the shots in the end over who would push the red button, this is where the INTJ's got involved. 



FakeLefty said:


> No one wants to see INTJs take part in a war. All they have to do is think some, sit back, and press the big red button...


You can always rely on those INTJ's. :ninja:



FakeLefty said:


> As the xSTJs plan something new, the xSTPs take the challenge by the horns and start a guerrilla warfare, which endlessly frustrates the NFs.


And it did. For a while :tongue:



KindOfBlue06 said:


> The NFPs call for a meeting with the leaders of the NFJs to negotiate a truce. As soon as all of the leaders of the NFJs are assembled, the NFPs ambush them Red Wedding style leaving the NFJs leaderless and in shock.
> 
> Shadow mode bitches. RUTHLESS!
> 
> The NFPs offer the NFJs a chance to surrender and join our cuddle orgy.
> 
> And somewhere Nic Cage is doing good things for the cause.


And they lived happily ever after. With Cagey playing harp and his angel wings looking pensive...


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## Swordsman of Mana

KindOfBlue06 said:


> The NFPs call for a meeting with the leaders of the NFJs to negotiate a truce. As soon as all of the leaders of the NFJs are assembled, the NFPs ambush them Red Wedding style leaving the NFJs leaderless and in shock.
> Shadow mode bitches. RUTHLESS!


hell yeah! :ninja:



> The NFPs offer the NFJs a chance to surrender and join our cuddle orgy.
> *The NFJs accept and there is no war in the first place :kitteh: *


fixed :laughing:


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## dulcinea

I feared this was the inevitable end of a war between NFPs and NFJs... a CUDDLE ORGY!!!

To quote Nibbler or Nibblonia: 

Sometimes I fear that we are too cute!


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## FearAndTrembling

The war would be worth it just for NFP women.


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## DustyWind

FearAndTrembling said:


> The war would be worth it just for NFP women.


I can't believe it. Only just now did I look at your little info card on the left and realize that you're a dude. Holy crap, I'm shocked.


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## FearAndTrembling

DustyWind said:


> I can't believe it. Only just now did I look at your little info card on the left and realize that you're a dude. Holy crap, I'm shocked.


lol. Why does that shock you? Do I give off a womanly vibe?


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## DustyWind

FearAndTrembling said:


> lol. Why does that shock you? Do I give off a womanly vibe?


No, it was weird because you sounded kind of... masculine/butch (I'm not trying to offend anyone) and I thought you were a woman. So that clears up things.


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## 7rr7s

FearAndTrembling said:


> The war would be worth it just for NFP women.


I agree 100%. Troy would look like child's play.


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## FakeLefty

After a year of NF control the xSTPs become increasingly furious at their lack of freedom. Then as one of their members gets hugged to death by the NF secret police, they snap and begin a series of revolutions. First, the ISTPs assassinate the NF leaders one by one, and the ESTPs create chaos by creating massive waves of riots, arson, looting, etc. They then form armies and attack the NF forces head on.

The NF forces fight back with their best glitter technology, but the formerly restrained xSTPs are now immune to glitter in their fit of rage. The NFJs attempt to counterattack against the ESTPs, but the ESTPs' sheer energy output burn the NFJ forces to crisps. The NFPs then attempt to hug the ISTPs to death, but the ISTPs' death stares render even the most hardcore huggers of the NFP forces paralyzed in fear. At the end of the day the xSTPs raise their fists in the air as they celebrate victory in the midst of the burning, battle-scarred wasteland. But the fire of vengeance still burns in their eyes...


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## Morfy

FakeLefty said:


> After a year of NF control the xSTPs become increasingly furious at their lack of freedom. Then as one of their members gets hugged to death by the NF secret police, they snap and begin a series of revolutions. First, the ISTPs assassinate the NF leaders one by one, and the ESTPs create chaos by creating massive waves of riots, arson, looting, etc. They then form armies and attack the NF forces head on.
> 
> The NF forces fight back with their best glitter technology, but the formerly restrained xSTPs are now immune to glitter in their fit of rage. The NFJs attempt to counterattack against the ESTPs, but the ESTPs' sheer energy output burn the NFJ forces to crisps. The NFPs then attempt to hug the ISTPs to death, but the ISTPs' death stares render even the most hardcore huggers of the NFP forces paralyzed in fear. At the end of the day the xSTPs raise their fists in the air as they celebrate victory in the midst of the burning, battle-scarred wasteland. But the fire of vengeance still burns in their eyes...


*runs away to hide and live in peace with some fellow INFPs*


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## Purrfessor

I may be an NFP but I choose to fight for the NFJs. Honestly, all I want is for the war to be over. I don't care who wins. Just don't kill me or my family.


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## Morfy

Stelliferous said:


> I may be an NFP but I choose to fight for the NFJs. Honestly, all I want is for the war to be over. I don't care who wins. Just don't kill me or my family.


Just run away with us!


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## StaceofBass

Stelliferous said:


> I may be an NFP but I choose to fight for the NFJs. Honestly, all I want is for the war to be over. I don't care who wins. Just don't kill me or my family.


Traitor!!! :shocked:

Then I'm afraid I must cuddle you to death...

*death by cuddles*


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## StaceofBass

FearAndTrembling said:


> The war would be worth it just for NFP women.


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## Jwing24

You know for me the war wouldn't be with the last 3 letters, but probably one letter, the [email protected]#$#[email protected]


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## Kindlings

FakeLefty said:


> After a year of NF control the xSTPs become increasingly furious at their lack of freedom. Then as one of their members gets hugged to death by the NF secret police, they snap and begin a series of revolutions. First, the ISTPs assassinate the NF leaders one by one, and the ESTPs create chaos by creating massive waves of riots, arson, looting, etc. They then form armies and attack the NF forces head on.
> 
> The NF forces fight back with their best glitter technology, but the formerly restrained xSTPs are now immune to glitter in their fit of rage. The NFJs attempt to counterattack against the ESTPs, but the ESTPs' sheer energy output burn the NFJ forces to crisps. The NFPs then attempt to hug the ISTPs to death, but the ISTPs' death stares render even the most hardcore huggers of the NFP forces paralyzed in fear. At the end of the day the xSTPs raise their fists in the air as they celebrate victory in the midst of the burning, battle-scarred wasteland. But the fire of vengeance still burns in their eyes...


NFs recoup with cuddles, the STs realize they want some. NFs convert STs to their side with cuddles.


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## FakeLefty

Kindlings said:


> NFs recoup with cuddles, the STs realize they want some. NFs convert STs to their side with cuddles.


You wish.


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## Kindlings

FakeLefty said:


> You wish.


Well if you want to miss out on the creme brûlée version of cuddling naps that an NF can offer- by all means go ahead. 

NFs recoup and become a powerful unified whole. They launch an offense by running through and making messes in ST headquarters using tiny trained monkeys. The monkeys move into the airways of the STs building and reproduce leading to more monkey messes. STs boil with rage but have to catch up straightening up before they can launch an offense. Unfortunately the monkeys keep making messes...


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## FakeLefty

Kindlings said:


> Well if you want to miss out on the creme brûlée version of cuddling naps that an NF can offer- by all means go ahead.
> 
> NFs recoup and become a powerful unified whole. They launch an offense by running through and making messes in ST headquarters using tiny trained monkeys. The monkeys move into the airways of the STs building and reproduce leading to more monkey messes. STs boil with rage but have to catch up straightening up before they can launch an offense. Unfortunately the monkeys keep making messes...


Fortunately among the STs the xSTJs quickly get to work on cleaning up the mess. The xSTPs go ahead and launch an offensive. The ISTP death stares break down the defenses while the ESTPs run wild wreaking havoc upon anything that stands in their way. With their rage they are surprisingly efficient, capturing 7 strongholds by the end of the day.


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## Morfy

FakeLefty said:


> Fortunately among the STs the xSTJs quickly get to work on cleaning up the mess. The xSTPs go ahead and launch an offensive. The ISTP death stares break down the defenses while the ESTPs run wild wreaking havoc upon anything that stands in their way. With their rage they are surprisingly efficient, capturing 7 strongholds by the end of the day.


Most of the INFPs and INFJs are now refugees and are crying somewhere in a dark and hidden place


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## FakeLefty

A year after their triumph the xSTPs become bored of trying to handle the newly acquired strongholds and it becomes more work than they expected, and the xSTJs are still cleaning up from the war's mess. So the xSTPs allow the NFs to come back to the land as long as they promise not to try to control the STs.


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## DustyWind

FakeLefty said:


> A year after their triumph the xSTPs become bored of trying to handle the newly acquired strongholds and it becomes more work than they expected, and the xSTJs are still cleaning up from the war's mess. So the xSTPs allow the NFs to come back to the land as long as they promise not to try to control the STs.


I CALL BULL.

The ESTPs have missed the big picture, so the NFs are bringing a bigger one in. EDUCATE YOURSELF, FOO'!










The ISTPs dislike of commitments has driven them out of the war. They have found happiness in a certain ISFJ lady:










The ISTJs realize that the war isn't going as planned and start blaming themselves for no reason.

The ESTJs run for cover as the NFs come up with an unconventional solution for their problems - TACTICAL HUGS WHILE WEARING BACON SUITS.


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## mushr00m

Episode 2 - To be continued...

How will this end?


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## FakeLefty

Somewhere in the distance, the ESFP tribes are eagerly looking on... waiting for their moment to shine...


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## DustyWind




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## Purrfessor

*Aids in the suffering of both sides.*


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## gestalt

Don't worry guys.

If you'll remember the ISTP's first mission, it was actually as a suicide bomber. He didn't survive it.

All the stuff he's talking about? That's ISTP heaven.


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## FakeLefty

gestalt said:


> Don't worry guys.
> 
> If you'll remember the ISTP's first mission, it was actually as a suicide bomber. He didn't survive it.
> 
> All the stuff he's talking about? That's ISTP heaven.


Well you see, we ISTPs don't follow directions if we don't feel like following them. I didn't feel like being a suicide bomber, so I decided to gather other ISTPs to go raid the NFJ camps.


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## Fievel

Alright I'm willing to offer reasonable surrender terms for the NFPs. You lay down your arms and you get a lifetime supply of drinking birds to innocently oggle like so:


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## gh0st

Oh just calm down and both sides can go ahead and watch this instead... for hours... upon hours, much more perplexing. *whispers that the NFPs who have conquered the hypnotizing effects can go around and get rid of the NFJs*


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## Laeona

One moment, I'm sitting in an NFJ holding cell, making friends with the ENFJ's and sampling their latest food concoctions (damn, if they can't cook!), when suddenly, the walls of everything just disintegrate and I'm sitting in the rubble. And then, things got weird. You should have seen the fire-breathing purple dinosaur! hahahahaa, oh wow, it was awesome. But I digress...

As things got really crazy, I began to wonder, if any of this was real. I mean, it felt so nebulous, so....wrong. And I couldn't place my finger on what it was. And as I picked an undamaged dish of custard out of the debris, it hit me...there is no spoon. THERE. IS. NO. SPOON.

The full force of that hit me, and dropping the custard I ran full force in the direction of the NFP base. All of this was wrong. Something had shifted. During the distraction of war. We all fell in.

My mind raced. What had happened? We were no longer controlling our own destinies. Something had us. I found a computer and began typing away furiously on it. Whatever the answer, I needed to know the truth. The computer whirred away, for what seemed ages, and finally one sentence and a picture (which I swear I saw dancing back and forth) came up on the screen.

"all your base are belong to us"










The Matrix. It had us all.


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## stargazing grasshopper

Kindlings said:


> NFs recoup with cuddles, the STs realize they want some. NFs convert STs to their side with cuddles.


Can an STJ volunteer to be tortured?


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## Kindlings

stargazing grasshopper said:


> Can an STJ volunteer to be tortured?


Considering the number of STJs who drive me nuts daily... yes, you absolutely can sign up for torture instead


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## stargazing grasshopper

FakeLefty said:


> We're allergic to touchy-feely stuff.


 Jeez that's a shame, but STJs aren't allergic to touchy-feely hugging. Looks as though your loss may see the rest of us happily smothered with cuddly hugs & maybe a few kisses.




FakeLefty said:


> They leave a trail of destruction as they march and reach the stronghold. By the time they get there they realize that the stronghold is protected by...


Your version sounds eerily similar to the Necromonger's invasion.
I could almost envision your leader demanding "convert now or fall forever".

Watch video @6-8 seconds.









Just be aware that an ISTJ or ESTJ is going to plunge a blade into the top of you leader's skull, take over your forces & restore peace between the MBTI types.


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## FakeLefty

stargazing grasshopper said:


> Jeez that's a shame, but STJs aren't allergic to touchy-feely hugging. Looks as though your loss may see the rest of us happily smothered with cuddly hugs & maybe a few kisses.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Your version sounds eerily similar to the Necromonger's invasion.
> I could almost envision your leader demanding "convert now or fall forever".
> 
> Watch video @6-8 seconds.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Just be aware that an ISTJ or ESTJ is going to plunge a blade into the top of you leader's skull, take over your forces & restore peace between the MBTI types.


Well you'll have to catch us first. We'll create a ton of chaos and you would have to clean that up. :tongue:


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## stargazing grasshopper

FakeLefty said:


> Well you'll have to catch us first. We'll create a ton of chaos and you would have to clean that up. :tongue:


Nope. An ISTJ's first priority will be focusing upon completing the mission assignment by whatever means necessary, cleanup & other stereotypes may be initiated after the mission has been successfully completed. You'd be wise to broker a peaceful resolution lest you be captured & subjected to incessant cuddly snuggles from a few snugglicious ladies dedicated to the cause. Bahahaha


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## FakeLefty

Hmmm, how to deal with ISTJs... I don't feel like negotiating, and my death stares won't work... Oh well, I'll improvise at some point.


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## stargazing grasshopper

FakeLefty said:


> Hmmm, how to deal with ISTJs... I don't feel like negotiating, and my death stares won't work... Oh well, I'll improvise at some point.


Just bend over & take my size 13 boot across your backside LOL.


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## FakeLefty

stargazing grasshopper said:


> Just bend over & take my size 13 boot across your backside LOL.


Ah, but that would be too simple.


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## stargazing grasshopper

FakeLefty said:


> Ah, but that would be too simple.


Okay you're a glutton for punishment, name your preferred surrender & I'll not burst out into laughter.


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## gh0st

I gotted confused.


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## amanda32

It would be a cold war. We'd just ignore each other.


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## catspajamas

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Pedox95F8g 
I really do hope this doesn't end up happening.


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## StaceofBass

stargazing grasshopper said:


> but STJs aren't allergic to touchy-feely hugging.


*inches towards you slowly...then divebomb hugs you*



:kitteh:


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## purplegoon

We're taking hostage their ENTP's and their ISFP's. We will bore them into submission with tall tales and deprivation and isolation from any type of artistic cataclysm. We are throwing their evil ISFP's into solitary confinement, where they'll never see the light of day. No ISFP or ENTP sex ever again! NEVAAAAAAAH! Now, we send out torpedoes that will ensnare and ensnarl the NFJ's Fe. Our torpedoes have twisted and entwined this Fe into a big mess! We lure them out into a deserted plain and make them "GET ON THEIR KNEES AND TELL US THEY LOVE US!"


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## purplegoon

Sending out the robot unicorns for a massive assault!!


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## purplegoon

Ok wait! I didn't realize the NFJ's had already surrendered on page 20! I got so caught up in the initial stages of the disease and its not like I was thinking about going on with it, I was plagued! Sorry, I couldn't contain myself.
I had a nightmare about this war last night :crying:


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## Kindlings

purplegoon said:


> Ok wait! I didn't realize the NFJ's had already surrendered on page 20! I got so caught up in the initial stages of the disease and its not like I was thinking about going on with it, I was plagued! Sorry, I couldn't contain myself.
> I had a nightmare about this war last night :crying:


This made me laugh.

So far, this thread is my personal favorite on this forum.


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## iamken

Assuming everyone would have already exhausted alllllllllllll attempts, and I mean every single one, of trying to bring on peace time.....

NFP's would somehow recruit wild animals. It'd be the INFPs' idea, and the ENFPs' would be like "OMG THAT'S AWESOME, LET'S FUCKING DO THIS"

NFJ's would have very rallied and organized people. The morale would be great on both sides, but I think the men and women of the NFJ battalion would be more focused and tactical.


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## dulcinea

Yes, the INFJs will research obsessively about the enemy, learn every personality trait, every tactic, every strategy til the NFPs are predictable to the point of utter boredom. Cuz that's what INFJs do best anyway.... anticipating the actions of others, and future events that is.

The ENFJs are there to take the lead and motivate the troops.


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## dulcinea

iamken said:


> Assuming everyone would have already exhausted alllllllllllll attempts, and I mean every single one, of trying to bring on peace time.....
> 
> NFP's would somehow recruit wild animals. It'd be the INFPs' idea, and the ENFPs' would be like "OMG THAT'S AWESOME, LET'S FUCKING DO THIS"
> 
> NFJ's would have very rallied and organized people. The morale would be great on both sides, but I think the men and women of the NFJ battalion would be more focused and tactical.


I can totally see this.


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## DustyWind

If the war is over...


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## FakeLefty

In the post-war reconstruction, the xSTPs not only rebuild the ruins, but start another industrial/technological revolution that allows for economic prosperity. The xSTJs focus on stabilizing the government and reestablish order. The NTs develop scientific ideas after ideas and the ENTJs use the new scientific knowledge to increase the quality of education. The feeling types provide plenty of hugs for people who suffered throughout the war.


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## Kindlings

FakeLefty said:


> In the post-war reconstruction, the xSTPs not only rebuild the ruins, but start another industrial/technological revolution that allows for economic prosperity. The xSTJs focus on stabilizing the government and reestablish order. The NTs develop scientific ideas after ideas and the ENTJs use the new scientific knowledge to increase the quality of education. The feeling types provide plenty of hugs for people who suffered throughout the war.


If you miss fighting with the XNFXs then start your own war thread!

Also boooooooooo booooooooo *throws rotten fruit*


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## Kysinor

I suggest peace. But knowing you guys... :S


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## Lucyintheskyyy

imagine all the people... living life in peace... you hoo-oo--oo-hoo...


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## Pucca

dulcinea said:


> Yes, the INFJs will research obsessively about the enemy, learn every personality trait, every tactic, every strategy til the NFPs are predictable to the point of utter boredom. Cuz that's what INFJs do best anyway.... anticipating the actions of others, and future events that is.


However, the INFJs realize after all their extensive research that their efforts were completely wasted as XNFPs are the most unpredictably creative types on the planet. Those NFJs who persist in trying to understand the breadth of ideas, possibilities, and pure randomness that flood XNFP minds are so exhausted trying to make sense of what seems ultimately senseless that they suffer mental breakdowns. :sad:


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## FearAndTrembling

Pucca said:


> However, the INFJs realize after all their extensive research that their efforts were completely wasted as XNFPs are the most unpredictably creative types on the planet. Those NFJs who persist in trying to understand the breadth of ideas, possibilities, and pure randomness that flood XNFP minds are so exhausted trying to make sense of what seems ultimately senseless that they suffer mental breakdowns. :sad:


I was saying before that INFP have glass jaws. They have heavy hands, they can hit hard.... And can overwhelm a lot of lesser types on their power alone. But a more skilled type, like INFJ, can take them into deeper rounds, find that glass chin, and drop them.

And INFJ are most creative. Power and depth of Ni, breadth of Fe, clarity and insight of Ti. Can't beat that.


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## Kynx

FearAndTrembling said:


> I was saying before that INFP have glass jaws. They have heavy hands, they can hit hard.... And can overwhelm a lot of lesser types on their power alone. But a more skilled type, like INFJ, can take them into deeper rounds, find that glass chin, and drop them.
> 
> And INFJ are most creative. Power and depth of Ni, breadth of Fe, clarity and insight of Ti. Can't beat that.


:laughing: Infj's can't tolerate conflict, though. 
They can't be beaten. Before things got too rough, they would retreat back to infj land and talk about the infp's behind their backs. Mutually validating their own opinions in an agreeable enviroment, completely unchallenged. Then conclude that they didn't lose after all, but instead made a sacrifice for the greater good. 

You're so cute with your scary looking avatar, btw. :tongue:


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## Antipode

Neverontime said:


> :laughing: Infj's can't tolerate conflict, though.
> They can't be beaten. Before things got too rough, they would retreat back to infj land and talk about the infp's behind their backs. *Mutually validating their own opinions in an agreeable enviroment, completely unchallenged.* Then conclude that they didn't lose after all, but instead made a sacrifice for the greater good.
> 
> You're so cute with your scary looking avatar, btw. :tongue:


 @_default settings_










(Kidding! Just playing around. Don't hurt little me. :crying


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## I Kant

Antipode said:


> @_default settings_
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> (Kidding! Just playing around. Don't hurt little me. :crying


But opinions usually exist within an issue involving either a controversy or at least different schools of thought on the matter.

In other words, opinions happen because people don't agree or may not clearly agree.

You could have a million opinions from a million people and they could all be embarrassingly wrong. You could get an opinion from a child looking at the issue for the first time and they may even be right.

Opinions are... odd little things.

A quirk of diversity producing difference among intelligent people, perhaps.

How they should be used may be... a matter of opinion.

Sigh.


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## Antipode

default settings said:


> But opinions usually exist within an issue involving either a controversy or at least different schools of thought on the matter.
> 
> In other words, opinions happen because people don't agree or may not clearly agree.
> 
> You could have a million opinions from a million people and they could all be embarrassingly wrong. You could get an opinion from a child looking at the issue for the first time and they may even be right.
> 
> Opinions are... odd little things.
> 
> A quirk of diversity producing difference among intelligent people, perhaps.
> 
> How they should be used may be... a matter of opinion.
> 
> Sigh.


I agree, but it's all about sample size. Of course we can all be wrong, but that chance is even higher if we sample from a small group.

But I don't want to continue the topic here, I just read that and simply could not resist.


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## I Kant

Antipode said:


> I agree, but it's all about sample size. Of course we can all be wrong, but that chance is even higher if we sample from a small group.
> 
> But I don't want to continue the topic here, I just read that and simply could not resist.


I think someone enjoys their Ni.


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## Antipode

default settings said:


> I think someone enjoys their Ni.


I do, but I don't see how that was relevant there.


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## purplegoon

The ENFJs are like: War? Yeah right. Not I.


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## FearAndTrembling

Neverontime said:


> :laughing: Infj's can't tolerate conflict, though.
> They can't be beaten. Before things got too rough, they would retreat back to infj land and talk about the infp's behind their backs. Mutually validating their own opinions in an agreeable enviroment, completely unchallenged. Then conclude that they didn't lose after all, but instead made a sacrifice for the greater good.
> 
> You're so cute with your scary looking avatar, btw. :tongue:


You're good. I like you...






I realized that INFP are like Hyenas. The leaders, and strongest ones are female. Makes it interesting. 

You know how in movie battle scenes, all the lesser soldiers fight, but the two leaders somehow find each other in the morass of battle? They go at it, and that duel sets the tone for the rest of the battle. That's me and you. Not sure if you are the Queen of the INFP hive, or OrangeAppled. I'll take you both out to make sure. Or wars often can be ended through marriage, we can do that. Hand me your sword, kneel, give me your hand, and I will let your people live. 

You know you can't win. It is predestination. This fight is just going through the motions. You called INFJ "archangels" before. Exactly. As I've said before, INFP are simply fallen INFJ. You are the demons seeping up from the bowels of the Earth, we are here to rid you from it.


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## zombiefishy

I like the idea of INFPs being demons  yay~


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## Kynx

FearAndTrembling said:


> You're good. I like you...


Aww! Thank you! roud: I like you too. Mwah!
It won't even enjoy kicking yo ass all over, I swear! :tongue:
I can't watch vids.



> I realized that INFP are like Hyenas. The leaders, and strongest ones are female. Makes it interesting.


We're not so much hyenas, we don't have the 'pack mentality' for it. The greatest heroes may band together when working towards a common goal in the fight against Fe's group values, externally enforced social rules and phases of bad fashion, but ultimately, we work alone. 



> You know how in movie battle scenes, all the lesser soldiers fight, but the two leaders somehow find each other in the morass of battle? They go at it, and that duel sets the tone for the rest of the battle. That's me and you.


Like when they mud wrestle in their undies? :happy: I love those movies! :tongue:



> Not sure if you are the Queen of the INFP hive, or OrangeAppled. I'll take you both out to make sure.


You're taking us both out? :happy:
Great! 
Btw, infp's like to go somewhere original and imaginative. Dinner & movies won't impress us I'm afraid.
You might want to put some thought into it.
OrangeAppled is far more powerful than I. Only, we infp's don't have monarchy, since we don't believe in heirarchy or social status or any other societally imposed systems and dogma. We neither wish to lead or to follow. In infp land, we're all equals.

Maybe you should prepare your soldiers though, if you plan on summoning OrangeAppled. You know how Fe folds in the presence of high rank and social status. What will happen once they set their eyes upon OrangeAppled's shiny 'Super Member' badge, MOTM post rank status (as voted by the majority) and high thanks-posts ratio? 
:shocked: 
OMG! You will be doomed! 
I don't think I can watch :frustrating: :crying: 
It's too harsh!

Perhaps it would be fairer to you if @OrangeAppled wasn't made aware of the NF battle raging on here.

Oops! My thumb slipped.
:blushed: 



> Or wars often can be ended through marriage, we can do that. Hand me your sword, kneel, give me your hand, and I will let your people live.


Oh, sorry but, I'm against marriage. It's nothing more than leftovers from the days when women were bought/sold as the property of men. 
But if that need to 'belong' is truly important to you, I can meet you half way. 
You can be my pet. :happy:
Don't let it be said that infp's can't compromise.



> You know you can't win. It is predestination. This fight is just going through the motions. You called INFJ "archangels" before. Exactly. As I've said before, INFP are simply fallen INFJ. You are the demons seeping up from the bowels of the Earth, we are here to rid you from it.


Silly Boy. I said that you're not archangels. Your parents just told you that you were to make you feel better about being so weird. 

Awww! You still believe good and evil are separate and exist independently of one another? 
That's so adorable! roud: 
Sit nicely pet, you can have a cookie.


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## TuesdaysChild

Oooh, what a fun thread. Unfortunately, I'm doomed. Being a hopeless perceiver, I have not the attention span to read the entire thread, so I am behind on strategy. Luckily, I have little regard for details anyways. Details schmetails, I say. I can, however, shoot a bow pretty decently, so I've got that going for me. But to my disadvantage, I can only shoot under "ideal" conditions, such as, the wind blowing my hair just right, there has to be lightning in the background, perhaps a little sweat on my brow (you know, for the war cinematography) and when I run out of medieval replica arrows, my killing spree is over. Dash it all if I'm going to plunge one of those tacky modern sport arrows into the flesh of an INFJ and ruin the ambience.

I will then write a poem about the bloodshed. Then I'll get bored and walk off into the mountains where I will self-actualize into a being of pure energy and light. Until that also gets boring.


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## dulcinea

What ever happened to the hug orgy? A huge release of Oxytocin to relieve the stresses of wartime. We need to send our bestest and charmingest ENFJ diplomats to work on our end of a Hug treaty!!


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## TuesdaysChild

dulcinea said:


> What ever happened to the hug orgy? A huge release of Oxytocin to relieve the stresses of wartime. We need to send our bestest and charmingest ENFJ diplomats to work on our end of a Hug treaty!!


Guess I looked over that itty bitty detail of there being a hug treaty. It must have been somewhere in the muddle between the first page and the last page *nervous laugh*

Now I will have to reenact the scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail where Sir Lancelot apologizes for slaughtering half the wedding guests. "So sorry. Sorry about that everyone! I just get a little carried away is all" *pulls arrow from the thigh of an INFJ* "Be a sport and forgive me for that, eh? Would you like some tea? Perhaps a balloon animal? A puppy you say? Sorry, I only learned how to twist a bumble bee and then I got bored. Balloon bumble bees for everyone!!"

*hugs and cuddles*


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## dulcinea

AlliG said:


> Guess I looked over that itty bitty detail of there being a hug treaty. It must have been somewhere in the muddle between the first page and the last page *nervous laugh*
> 
> Now I will have to reenact the scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail where Sir Lancelot apologizes for slaughtering half the wedding guests. "So sorry. Sorry about that everyone! I just get a little carried away is all" *pulls arrow from the thigh of an INFJ* "Be a sport and forgive me for that, eh? Would you like some tea? Perhaps a balloon animal? A puppy you say? Sorry, I only learned how to twist a bumble bee and then I got bored. Balloon bumble bees for everyone!!"
> 
> *hugs and cuddles*


Yep! this is the cutest war in history! Despite all the, you know, bloodshed and stuff.


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## sailaway

INFPs and INFJs are already at war with each other since the dawn of humanity.


----------

