# If someone asked you (a stranger) to have sex with him/her, what would you say?



## perfectcircle (Jan 5, 2011)

Let's assume he/she is reasonably attractive & doesn't look "trashy", as though they live a careless lifestyle which would unconsciously make you think they might have STDs or be below you. Let's assume they are well groomed & lucid (as in not on drugs or anything).

Let's assume they didn't cold approach you but you had held eye contact or something because you noticed each other.

Let's assume the way they did it wasn't _super _awkward or crass, maybe smiled flirtatiously or made some winning conversation or passed you a note or whispered in your ear or said or did it cutely daringly.

Let's assume you have no external reasons to prevent you from having sex, a significant other, disease, physical incapability, etc.

The reason I am asking is this study
http://www.elainehatfield.com/79.pdf

To summarize the study, men about 70% of the time agreed to have sex with a women they didn't know. They agreed to go "up to a lady's apartment" less than that, and to go on a date even less. Then men in the study cited fearing being seen with an 'easy' woman who would be 'hard to get rid of' or 'embarrassing' as why they would be hesitant to have sex with just anyone.

The women showed the opposite pattern, literally no women agreed to have sex with a strange man, a little more to go up to their apartment, and around 50& would agree to go on a date. This is possibly due to the greater risks involved for women when dealing with strange men & social standards.

However this study is from the later 70s/early 80s.
How do you guys compare now?

Also, the study covers how the men vs women would respond-- men would be understanding & apologetic in their refusals "sorry I'm married; oh not tonight", whereas women would be upset & ask the man "what is wrong with him" or "are you crazy." Once again theorized to be due to the social standards & greater risks imposed upon women. How would you respond?

*I am aware perC is a biased population sample. 
** please be honest with your answers.


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## Zster (Mar 7, 2011)

Nope. I am one of those who strongly prefers an established emotional bond prior to engaging phyiscally. It's how I roll.


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## Cheveyo (Nov 19, 2010)

No.

I don't know where they've been.


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## Trinidad (Apr 16, 2010)

No. I need trust and to feel respected as a person in order for me to have sex with someone.


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## Arbite (Dec 26, 2010)

Meh, I've pretty much done it in real life, I may as well say yes to the study.


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

It's just sex.


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## hailfire (Dec 16, 2012)

Simple enough. No. For various reasons.


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## Master Mind (Aug 15, 2011)

I'm aware of the study, which was discussed in a class I took.

My answer would be no. I don't have sex with people I don't know. I don't generally care to be bothered by people I don't know, let alone have any interest in having sex with them. I've actually been in this situation before on multiple occasions, beginning back to when I was 12. I turned the girl down the first time I was asked, and my response has been the same in every situation since then save for one, which I only accepted as an experiment to see what the big deal was. Afterwards, I continued to respond as I had before, as the experiment yielded no reason to make a practice of having sex with strangers.


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## perfectcircle (Jan 5, 2011)

It is interesting me only the "no"s want to voice their opinion. xD oh wait nvm all the male yes's spoke up. females nope tho.


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

Given all these assumptions, yes, why the hell not - since we're dealing with a preset setting here.


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## qingdom (Apr 5, 2011)

If it's the last day of the apocalypse / impending doom, sure... why the hell not. 

Otherwise, any other day without no rhyme or reason, then no.


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## Ocky (Feb 19, 2011)

I was going to say No until i read 'said or did it cutely daringly'

Yes i would


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## 7rr7s (Jun 6, 2011)

The term YOLO-sexual comes to mind...


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## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

Maybe I'm secretly a girl? Quite a secret, that even I don't know. D:


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## Eerie (Feb 9, 2011)

No, for a ton of reasons. Firstly, in a relationship, secondly hello a stranger. You don't know the person, you don't know if they are violent, you know -nothing- and that's a pretty good reason not to go there. Thirdly, casual sex is meaningless to me and I wouldn't be interested in it even if I knew the person.


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

If some dude out of nowhere asked me, "Hey, wanna fuck?" = me punching him in the face.

If some dude out of nowhere asked me, "Hey, I was wondering. would you like to go back to my place to have sex?" = me looking at him like he was on crack. I'd laugh. Then say no and walk away.

If some dude out of nowhere asked me, "Hey (smile) my name is (...) I was wondering if you might be open to letting me make you _scream_" - ending in a very seductive tone. Leaning in close to my ear as if it's a secret, then just sitting back with a smile all nonchalant. Nothing weird. = me laughing my ass off. saying no. but he has my attention as I would assume he has a great sense of humor, courage, confidence and he likes what he sees. ... maybe. or maybe I'd just punch him in the face too *shrugs*


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## perfectcircle (Jan 5, 2011)

Eerie said:


> No, for a ton of reasons. Firstly, in a relationship, secondly hello a stranger. You don't know the person, you don't know if they are violent, you know -nothing- and that's a pretty good reason not to go there. Thirdly, casual sex is meaningless to me and I wouldn't be interested in it even if I knew the person.



Well reasons two and three are perfectly valid, but remember for the context of this scenario we are assuming one is single, as it is hypothetical.


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## Darkestblue (Apr 19, 2010)

No. Then again, I'm not a normal man.


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## Eerie (Feb 9, 2011)

adverseaffects said:


> Well reasons two and three are perfectly valid, but remember for the context of this scenario we are assuming one is single, as it is hypothetical.


I could be as single as can be, I still wouldn't have sex with a stranger.


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## perfectcircle (Jan 5, 2011)

Eerie said:


> I could be as single as can be, I still wouldn't have sex with a stranger.


You made that clear already


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## perfectcircle (Jan 5, 2011)

MelissaC said:


> Sure.
> 
> I've read about this study. Apparently there was some follow-up study which showed that women are no more averse to sleeping with a stranger than men are so long as they feel certain they'll get pleasure from it. There were a lot of faults with how the original study was performed.
> 
> Can't remember where I read about it so can't provide a source for y'all.


aw bummer.

well my strong suspicion what people will say and what they will do is often different... if the guy was sexy... but whatever.


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## perfectcircle (Jan 5, 2011)

Blacktide said:


> This posts seems to have very few interesting responses.... i.g. I only want it if we have a deep emotional connection...........
> 
> Where are the females who would say to the guy:
> "Sure let's do it real rough! I have not collected a pair of male parts to cut off and add to my collection in several weeks. I will be up in a minute, just let me fish out my scalpel from my purse." :crazy:
> ...


Huh you assume it's the intjs, interesting. well there is... 8.. of them lurking around on the threads so far, but notice almost all the females have declines to share a "yes" answer even if they put one down!?!? interesting


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## Playful Proxy (Feb 6, 2012)

It depends on whether an individual is ok with emotionless sex and if proof of no STD's (since you can't trust them due to barely knowing them) and proper birth control precautions were taken. All in all, it seems like a lot of work for a one night thing that will not even have emotions with it. I dunno, if I had been having a rough patch and had all the above conditions met, I might take a go. Under normal circumstances, I'd be a bit more resistant due to all the work and trust issues involved.


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## perfectcircle (Jan 5, 2011)

I wonder how much the era of STDs being an inescapable concern has influenced our answers. hm. *strokes chin*

in case you guys haven't noticed I am pretending to be a scientist today


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## Yardiff Bey (Jun 5, 2011)

Given the parameters of the initial post, certainly. Effectively, you are saying that the woman has managed to seduce me.

This despite my preferred choice of having some form of emotional connection before sex occurs.

Edit: A thought. If, for example, 20% of people participate in the "hook-up" culture - even the equivalent back then in the 70/80's - then there are women who lie when they say that they would never do such a thing.

After all, it wasn't the best thing back then to be known as the local slut/whore. These days people are far more relaxed and open about their sexuality. The stigma is gone.


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## Bat (Jul 21, 2012)

Nah. STDs are a real concern these days, and even more importantly, I'd rather not end up dead in a ditch somewhere. Even if it didn't get that extreme, there's still the possibility of a very, very, very bad experience. Lots of predators out there and some men are pretty quick to slap the whore label on a woman, consider her of lesser value, and get pretty nasty. Money doesn't make it any better, it's common enough for prostitutes to get roughed up by paying customers.

Plus, there's many a man who isn't worth the trouble of a one night stand, if you know what I mean.


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## CrabbyPaws (Mar 5, 2012)

Wow I don't think with that much information there can be such a clear cut answer. If the point behind this question is "would you EVER have sex with a stranger?" then my answer would be probably yes. But "If someone asked you (a stranger) to have sex with him, what would you say?" That would simply depend highly on whether I am attracted to them or not, and in which manner they decided to ask me. Quite so verbally would be incredibly off-putting! :tongue: It's not a business deal.


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## Razare (Apr 21, 2009)

I would just say no... it might be alright to have carefree sex with strangers who I find attractive, but I have the mindset of a cynical analyzer.

If a woman wants to have sex with me, I have to know her ulterior motives before I say yes to anything. Until I can discern what motivates the behavior of any given individual, I generally do not afford them much trust.

This did happen once in my life, I think. I was working at a gas station, a woman came in drunk off her ass with friends... they were having a bachlorette party or something. They said there were no guys at the place they were having a party and were looking for some, and I was invited right then and there...

I said no because my shift wasn't over. Had it not been over, I don't know what I would have done... I generally hate having to make decisions like that, so I default to what my responsibilities are as an easy way to discern an answer.


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## unINFalliPle (Jul 8, 2012)

No. I don't think I would enjoy sex with a stranger.


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## 0 1 1 2 3 5 8 13 21 34 (Nov 22, 2009)

No. I don't have many ideals, but this goes against them. It would not make a difference how much money was offered. Besides, I don't think I'd enjoy it; I could have more connection with my hand and some fantasies. And that is without considering STDS... I have had the chance more than once, btw, and my answer was no.


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## SuburbanLurker (Sep 26, 2010)

I'd be super suspicious since sane women simply don't do things like that. Also, hookup sex is super depressing. No want sex, want gf.


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## Absolution (Dec 15, 2012)

I'd probably take him up on that offer on two conditions:

1. My SO and I must have split up permanently.
2. I must have been feeling super shitty about "The one that got away"






Usually I would not, but if these emotional-wreck flags are raised, I'd probably be down for some stuff that I normally would never even consider.


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## EternalNocturne (Nov 4, 2011)

In all honesty, I would say no.
I want a wife, not a one night stand, regardless of how "perfect" the circumstances may be.
Furthermore, that would be SO awkward.. I've never been in a real relationship, so I haven't even KISSED a girl. (of course, I wouldn't mind changing that one. hahaha)


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## Doll (Sep 6, 2012)

"No thank you."


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## perfectcircle (Jan 5, 2011)

xD omg the female "yes" bar hasn't changed since like the first day this thread was made


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## flamesabers (Nov 20, 2012)

adverseaffects said:


> xD omg the female "yes" bar hasn't changed since like the first day this thread was made


Perhaps it's relatively uncommon for women to want to engage in casual sex?


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## perfectcircle (Jan 5, 2011)

flamesabers said:


> Perhaps it's relatively uncommon for women to want to engage in casual sex?


That's circular reasoning ya know. you're stating the phenomena, not the reason xD


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## Diphenhydramine (Apr 9, 2010)

Er, obviously. Would use protection though. Unless I was drunk. In which case I probably wouldn't.


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## Rachel Something (Jan 30, 2012)

I voted "yes"... mostly because I was following the parameters you set out. He would have to be pretty seductive, though - or at least that's how I pictured him in my head when I clicked "yes". :laughing: Also, my response might have been influenced by the fact that I'm horny at the moment. Besides, it's not like I've never before had sex/done something sexual with someone I just met a while ago/barely knew (those people weren't _complete_ strangers, though. I at least hung out with them for a while, so that's not really the same thing.)

ETA: Now that I have given it more thought, I would have to say that in a real life situation it would be pretty awkward for me if a complete stranger just asked me for sex, just like that. When I fantasize about sex with a stranger, that's not exactly what comes to mind either. That said, I still don't want to say that I would _never_ do it, and I believe that there are certain circumstances in which it _could_ happen... but the person has to be extremely attractive to me, and there would have to be some kind of build-up of sexual tension between us before I would even agree to do it - otherwise it would feel too awkward and uncomfortable for me. Whenever I would fantasize about that sort of stuff, I never imagined the person literally "asking" for it with words. It would just sort of... happen (e.g. we would be making out and then one thing would lead to another. I love that sort of thing.)


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

if they're ugly: no
if they're good looking: well, I should probably get to know you first. how about coffee some time?


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