# So...what do the different personality types like in bed?



## runningthroughclouds (Oct 26, 2009)

At this point I'm an INTJ though I've been an ESTJ more frequently. 

I like making jokes in bed a lot, and referring to geek/game memes. So I like to do really ridiculous things like "putting on my robe and wizard hat".

What do you all like? =P


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## Briggs (Aug 23, 2009)

There are a lot of ways to play and have fun that way..........

Though tops for me is that it is:

give and take 
intense
I love a flirty build up/tease

For whatever reason, I like it when we are out and with friends or whatever (I am single now, not dating..so this is prior) and the shared/stolen way hot moments that are amp'd up through the night................................all the way till you get home. 
I tend to also like to be the one to lead. Toward the end I like to turn the reigns over. :tongue:


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## Kevinaswell (May 6, 2009)

Let's do it on the bus.


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## Briggs (Aug 23, 2009)

haha...there must be something to that.........fellow INT.
I like the public idea too.

Private in a public spot...if that makes sense.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

I am a kinky prude. I know that sounds contradictory, but what it means is that I am extremely selective about who I am willing to have sex with. Once I am committed to someone, I'm willing to try just about anything as long as it isn't against my values. This is consistent with my Introversion, since it relates to how I prefer one or two very deep frienships instead of several less interesting ones. I am loyal to a single partner, and will let him do pretty much anything he wants with me as long as it isn't unloving. 

I enjoy a certain level of creativity, but do not require it. I tend to be fantasizing about various scenarios in my head while having sex, and this is probably because of my iNtuitive nature. I do not use this tendency to have disloyal thoughts, but may enhance the experience by envisioning different settings, perhaps magical abilities. Sometimes I just visualize the feelings as having colors and textures, and focus on the locations in my body where I feel them.

I like to feel completely vulnerable, but also completely safe. I consider myself sexually submissive, although I haven't had sex recently and can't be certain that I would still enjoy it. It is important for me to feel connected to my partner, to trust him completely, and to know that he loves me, likes me, respects me, and is content with me. This is why angry make-up sex does not appeal to me, and would be _extremely_ traumatic for me. I suspect that this relates to my being a Feeler.

I enjoy sexual teasing and the buildup to orgasm much more than I enjoy the actual closure of experiencing the climax, and this is consistent with my process-oriented Perceiving nature. In fact, I don't care whether I orgasm or not. I just enjoy the closeness for as long as it lasts.


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## unstimulated (Oct 29, 2009)

passion, or at least the illusion of it, is for me the most important in terms of whether or not the experience was satisfying. a man might have all the right moves and still miss the point if i don't really feel wanted and swept up in the moment. i like sex best when it happens spontaneously as if both parties just couldn't help themselves. when it gets too routine, i start to get bored.


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## The Proof (Aug 5, 2009)

bed time is actually super fun time! I love playful girls wheeeee:laughing:

also, in bed I love clean sheets, the essence of civilization


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## susurration (Oct 22, 2009)

Kevinaswell said:


> Let's do it on the bus.


haha.. that reminded me of

"why don't we doo it in the road? .. no one will be watching us"

ahh lennon/mccartney.


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## entperson (Sep 14, 2009)

NatalieAnne said:


> haha.. that reminded me of
> 
> "why don't we doo it in the road? .. no one will be watching us"
> 
> ahh lennon/mccartney.


You beat me to it! Dammit!


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## Sidewalk Balloonatic (Mar 10, 2009)

snail said:


> I am a kinky prude. I know that sounds contradictory, but what it means is that I am extremely selective about who I am willing to have sex with. Once I am committed to someone, I'm willing to try just about anything as long as it isn't against my values. This is consistent with my Introversion, since it relates to how I prefer one or two very deep frienships instead of several less interesting ones. I am loyal to a single partner, and will let him do pretty much anything he wants with me as long as it isn't unloving


I never understood why people think these ideas are mutually exclusive, and that if you are open-minded and experimental in bed then you must also be licentious or sexually indiscriminate. There are things down the freaky end of the spectrum that require a lot of trust and respect be established; the sort of trust and respect that comes naturally (ideally) in a committed long term relationship.


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## DevilDoll (Jul 31, 2009)

Seeing as I am not 100% percent certain of my type, I am not sure that my post will be of any use when you are trying to decide if sexual preferences have anything to do with type, but for some reason I feel compelled to post. So, I shall. 

Hmmm... What do I like in bed... where to start? Ah right! I am NOT breakable! Yes, I weigh 92 pounds. Yes, I am small. No, you will not break me. "I am not breakable" has become my catch phrase because I have had to repeat it so many times. You wouldn't believe how many guys are so timid and scared that they are almost afraid to touch me. I am made to be tossed around. Pin me to a wall, cuff me, gag me, assert some kind of dominance, because if you don't I will and I'm not to keen on being the dominant partner. I am typically submissive when it comes to sex. Now, the level of submission depends on how much I love and trust my partner. Like someone said above, the kinkier things are only done when there is true trust. Flings are lucky if they are permitted to bite and pull hair. Long term relationships get the real benefits. Basically, I like it rough and tough. I have been called a masochist in the past... so I don't deal well with the happy fluffy lovey dovey stuff. I don't mind "making love" to my partner on very rare occasions, but I have a very vivid imagination and I love to play out my fantasies and they don't usually include rose petals and romantic music.


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

everything. get creative.


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## addle1618 (Oct 31, 2008)

I like to sleep :tongue:


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## Tkae (Oct 15, 2009)

snail said:


> I am a kinky prude. I know that sounds contradictory, but what it means is that I am extremely selective about who I am willing to have sex with. Once I am committed to someone, I'm willing to try just about anything as long as it isn't against my values. This is consistent with my Introversion, since it relates to how I prefer one or two very deep frienships instead of several less interesting ones. I am loyal to a single partner, and will let him do pretty much anything he wants with me as long as it isn't unloving.
> 
> I enjoy a certain level of creativity, but do not require it. I tend to be fantasizing about various scenarios in my head while having sex, and this is probably because of my iNtuitive nature. I do not use this tendency to have disloyal thoughts, but may enhance the experience by envisioning different settings, perhaps magical abilities. Sometimes I just visualize the feelings as having colors and textures, and focus on the locations in my body where I feel them.
> 
> ...


Yeah, I'm t he same way.

I'd pretty much doing anything from hard and rough bondage to sounding to vanilla.

The key is, it has to be someone I'd ever be willing to trust enough to have sex with. 

But yeah...


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## Everyday Ghoul (Aug 4, 2009)

To be quite honest, I'm not particularly selective about who I'll sleep with. If anything, I tend to be rather shallow about it. A girl can be a complete airhead, but if she looks good to me, I'll still sleep with her, so long as sex is the only thing I'm after with her. However, the number of sexual partners I've had has been restricted, mostly by my own lack of aggression or assertiveness with women. I've never been able to figure out what the appropriate amount is and what's too far, so I just err on the side of making no advances on a girl, whatsoever. The only exception to this is if we've talked about it, beforehand, and they've made it clear a sexual encounter is what they want, then I'll make the first move. A lot of it is respect and a deep abhorrence of the act of rape. Sadly, I've not met a woman who wasn't raped or molested, at some point. I'm a big guy, I tend to physically intimidate other guys, so I can't imagine what impact I might have on a little 5'4", 125 lb. woman if I were to just come at her. I've never really been afraid of "breaking them" or anything, just worried they'd be afraid to say no to me, and I wouldn't want them to do something they might not necessarily want to do, just because they'd be scared I might hurt them or force them into it if they did reject me. 

As far as what I like, I'm more partner focused than anything, but that's still selfish. I'm one of those guys that gets his jollies by trying to be one of the best they ever had, or at least memorable. Even though I do tend to focus on my partners needs, wants, and desires, more than my own, I still have tastes for certain things. Because of my sexual tastes, finding an absolutely ideal sexual partner has been something I've yet to be able to do. I have a slight foot fetish, and most girls seem to think it's "gross" that I want to suck their toes. I've found a couple that were willing to tolerate it, but only one or two who were truly into it. I'm submissive and a masochist in bed. If I have my way, I'm getting bitten, scratched, slapped, choked, and beaten. In an ideal encounter, I walk away looking like I've gone hand-to-hand with a grizzly. lol I've found a girl or two willing to do this, but most of my partners wanted to be the ones to get roughed up. However, there is one thing I'm into that I've yet to find someone willing to fully indulge me in, and that's my taste for voyeurism and mental domination/humiliation. I like to watch my partner with other guys, while being verbally humiliated over it. I got into it a little with my ex-fiance, at the end of our relationship, but, for the most part, she was only willing to sleep with other guys behind my back and rub the insinuation it was happening in my face. The whole thing has proven to be rather tricky for me. It takes some established comfort for me to even approach the subject with a partner, because I've repeatedly been told it's rather weird or crazy. By the time I've built the required comfort necessary to breach the subject with someone, I've run into emotional difficulties. They weren't willing to try it, because they considered it cheating on me and the whole thing to hold too much potential danger to the relationship. They worried it would hurt me, and said they would find it hurtful if I could actually go through with sharing their bodies with someone else. Honestly, I knew they were right, anyway. For me to truly enjoy the indulgence of those tastes, I can't be as deeply attached to the person as I get to someone I'm in love with, however, neither can I have no attachment at all to them. I need a long term friendship that turns into a friends with benefit situation, someone I'm comfortable with, love, and respect, but not in an obsessive way, typical of the way I feel for someone I'm "in love" with. I've talked to a couple of female friends about it, but it wasn't their thing. Most of them were actually pretty offended, as they took the inquiry as an insinuation they were "sluts". That wasn't my intention, but I often find myself forgetting how deeply ingrained the beliefs in social stereotypes run in other people.


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## Briggs (Aug 23, 2009)

why is this broken into 2 threads....i thought i was insane and knew i had posted....


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## Jack Rabid (Aug 6, 2009)

I am usually very responsive and can read my lover and react and act accordingly..I have been told, I _know_ what I am doing.. But I don't really.. I don't think about it.. I just go with it.. and the end result is what happens..


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## SeekJess (Nov 1, 2009)

I'll do anything, or damn close to it.. I have to love the person, and I have to be able to trust them, and know it isn't meaningless. The only down fall is, I have to fall in love.. which for me is really hard to do. But once I get there...


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## Alchemical Romance (Nov 26, 2009)

Well I'm against cheating therefore creativity is the rule. A long term relationship cannot live with repetitive positions and the like.


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## Gracie (Dec 13, 2009)

Tenderness is something that's incredibly important to me. I don't think I could ever enjoy sex if I was not absolutely crazy about the person I was sleeping with. Largely as a result of this, my sexual experience is very restricted. Within such a relationship, though, I'm up for pretty much anything. 

I love a good build-up, though. A bit of touching, kissing, groping (LOL!) is needed to really get me in the mood. I'm a very tactile person anyway, even in a non-sexual context. I express my love, and like to have it expressed TO me via touch. Hugs, kisses, stroking hair, etc... I love it all! I read a description of INFJ types before which said that for INFJs, sex is an almost spiritual experience, and that really struck a chord with me. I love nothing more than feeling emotionally and physically connected so the one I love, and handing over every vestige of myself to a partner I love enough to have so carefully selected.


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## jamisloan (Feb 18, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> There is no such thing as "bad sex" if I'm involved.....haha!
> 
> I love being creative in sex and hate saying what I prefer because I may be introduced to something even more fantastic! But it does have to be monogamous. I can only be your whore in the bed if I am your angel out of it. Don't hurt my feelings by asking to bring in a 3rd party. That's grounds for permanent ousting.
> 
> ...


I'm an ENFP----

Sounds like me but with exceptions. 

Creative and new is must. I can't get bored... that is rule #1. So I try to come up with new things all the time just so it keeps the relationship healthy and fun. 

I'm always more concerned about pleasing the other party than myself though. I could care less if I get anything out of it.. as long as he's good then I'm good. It might be self-conscious issues that I have buried deep inside or it might just be that I'm a virgo and that's kind of what we're known for. I'm not sure. But I get off on him getting off... So I'll pretty much do anything that's needed. With the exception of a threesome if I'm in a relationship (that just spells disaster). 

I think my favorite thing is being choked. Not to a crazy level where I can't breathe or anything... I like being controlled I guess. And of course hair grabbing and spanking are always nice. 
I like it pretty rough.

I also think sex is a big deal in relationships. I know if I didn't have a good sex life.. I'd become moody and bitchy and then everything else would fall apart. Not just that but it's a time to connect on a different level. It's a time between you two that can only happen in the bedroom. You should be able to be goofy and silly but romantic and very sexual at the same time. The best relationships I've had so far are with guys I've synched with sexually. Because it just reaches a whole new level when both of you can make the other feel such an amazing high.


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

reverse helicopter and the corkscrew...nuff said


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## Drake (Oct 31, 2009)

My wife:wink:


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## Caila (Nov 25, 2009)

Extreme Endearment.


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## amanda32 (Jul 23, 2009)

Great kissing. If that's good, I'm pretty happy. 
O, and follow my instructions...


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## Saboteur (Dec 28, 2009)

Pink Rasputin, you're my hero.

I agree about doing it in the car, Sweet Surrender. =)

This thread is delicious. **slurp**


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## madsmarr (Mar 1, 2010)

_I believe sex is about closeness, but if in the mood sometimes I just wait to get off then I am done. I enjoy the closeness more than anything though and the freedom to truly let your hair down. I am vulnerable, but since it is with someone who I have selected it is usually a relief._


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

I don't like playing the submissive role. I like to be in control, and I do it with skill.


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## INFPPP (Feb 23, 2010)

I'm an INFP and in bed I'm: 



Passionate/Romantic
Kinky/experimental/Masochistic
Verbal
Involved/hands-on/participative/giving etc..


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

I'm an ENFP

I love to try new things as you would expect...new places, new toys, new moves...whatever just osmething new and exciting...besides that, the sex has to have meaning and passion in it


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## Deja Vu (Dec 26, 2009)

New and pressing her up against the wall. Kissing the neck. The panting. Pleasing. Music.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Saboteur (Dec 28, 2009)

idris said:


> New and pressing her up against the wall. Kissing the neck. The panting. Pleasing. Music.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Passionate and rough yet still loving sex is my favorite. :blushed:


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## SoundUnderstandBreathe (Mar 4, 2010)

NatalieAnne said:


> haha.. that reminded me of
> 
> "why don't we doo it in the road? .. no one will be watching us"
> 
> ahh lennon/mccartney.


haha i was singing that as i read your post


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

idris said:


> New and pressing her up against the wall. Kissing the neck. The panting. Pleasing. Music.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


OP said "in bed". Wall is not bed.


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## Narrator (Oct 11, 2009)

pinkrasputin said:


> OP said "in bed". Wall is not bed.


He could be...pushing her up against the wall next to the bed...


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## 1057 (Apr 9, 2009)

i'm pretty sure by 'in bed', they meant during sexytime.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Liminality said:


> He could be...pushing her up against the wall next to the bed...


Just as long as he is not banging her head up against the wall while in bed. :wink:


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## Aerorobyn (Nov 11, 2009)

pinkrasputin said:


> There is no such thing as "bad sex" if I'm involved.....haha!
> 
> I love being creative in sex and hate saying what I prefer because I may be introduced to something even more fantastic! But it does have to be monogamous. I can only be your whore in the bed if I am your angel out of it. Don't hurt my feelings by asking to bring in a 3rd party. That's grounds for permanent ousting.
> 
> ...



Sounds a lot like what I would say, maybe with a few exceptions though. For instance... I would rather be the dominant one. I don't mind being submissive, but I definitely like to have the control most of the time. :blushed:

I'm willing to try just about anything... I get bored easily, so I need some spicin' up. But no no to the back door. I don't do that one. :dry: And the bed... *shrug* I've never really been a fan of the bed. I prefer other places - shower, kitchen, outside, in the car. Yeah, SweetSurrender mentioned the car thing - I love it. I had one ex who was all, "I will not have sex in a car, I feel it's degrading you" and no matter what I said, he would no budge. Yeahhh. While I do appreciate the sincerity and whatnot, that is definietly NOT a turn-on. If I'm in the car and I want it, give it to me!!! :angry: Another ex of mine, on the other hand, had no problem with it...we took a 5-hour car trip to his parents house, and we must've pulled over to the side of the road, or in an empty parking lot, at least 6 times that day. :blushed:

I like the rough stuff, yo. If my partner is into the sweet, slow, love-making sessions - that's fine. I don't mind it sometimes, *shrug* but I definitely prefer it hard, rough, and kinky shiz. The slow stuff usually doesn't do much for me... 

Hmm... yeah. With all that said, however, I'm pretty selective in who I sleep with. I don't sleep with just anybody, though the thought of a hot, wild, kinky, hardcore one-night stand with a random stranger does sound appealing... I don't know that I'd ever do it though. :crazy: Probably not, but who knows? Yeah. I actually have to feel something for them and be able to trust them. 

'Nuff said.


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

I think sex with someone you have passion for is 1000692 x better than with someone you really don't know very well


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## sprinkles (Feb 7, 2010)

I'm actually still really 'virgin-ish' when it comes to sex... just thinking about it makes me red as a beet.

But um... yeah. I think most of all I'd prefer to be cuddly and playful, whatever it is I'm doing. And under a nice fat, fluffy blanket.

The image of two squirrels hopped up on caffeine and sugar wrestling in a bag with lots of elated squeals and giggles comes to mind. :crazy:


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## jdmn (Feb 5, 2010)

I've always wanted to do S&M or specially Dominance and Submission role games adn be the one who's in charge... but it's when I'm older.. like 25... xDD


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

I don't understand "games" and "fantasy". Why not drop your guards and be yourselves who want this type of balance? It is so much more erotic. It feels like you're piercing and releasing into each other's souls.


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## sparklygreengirl (Dec 4, 2009)

pinkrasputin said:


> I don't understand "games" and "fantasy". Why not drop your guards and be yourselves who want this type of balance? It is so much more erotic. It feels like you're piercing and releasing into each other's souls.


Yeah, I agree with this. Im submissive myself and Im in a D/s relationship. Im INFP, Im pretty certain he's ENTP and he's very dominant. Its not about games or fantasy, its very real, its who we are.

If Im with the right person and as the relationship grows, I will try pretty much anything(and have) :wink: Its all about trust for me.

sparkly x


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## tehTerminator (Mar 4, 2010)

Saboteur said:


> Passionate and rough yet still loving sex is my favorite. :blushed:


Yes. ..I like dom/dom. ..Think Mr. and Mrs. Smith:wink: love that movie. 
I have gotten annoyed with those (as of now two..) who complain when I bite/suck their neck ("It left marks for _days _and still hurts!! But it's OK I forgive you") or when I happen to scratch them or something. -_- I mean of course I get it and try to respect that, but still would be more comfortable with someone who didn't mind a little bit rough. 
Although extreme vanilla with lots of foreplay can be quite nice too, but than I need to go into it thinking 'cuddling' and not 'we are gonna fuck'.

Otherwise with people I care about I can be quite insecure when it comes to sex, so than it can be a relief if they are very dom and don't expect me to take charge.


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## KateAusten (Feb 6, 2010)

Liminality said:


> He could be...pushing her up against the wall next to the bed...


Maybe they put the mattress up against the wall! That sounds way comfier than your vertebrae banging against the wall...


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## Narrator (Oct 11, 2009)

Vertebraetion...This could be the new way forward...

A spine tingling venture...


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## Ignus (Sep 30, 2009)

hehe, I'll throw in my comments here too. 

I usually manage to get lots of giggling and laughter in during sex, demystifying the part of the TV show or movie where the curtains go up and the lights fade to black. Just enjoying and experiencing as regular people is awesome.

One of my favorite things is when one partner messes up, I feel like it makes us both feel more human. It's hilarious and fun to giggle about too. Like farting during sex, or other non romantic erotic things that break the mood and remind us of our imperfections. I get a huge kick out of that and end up laughing so hard I can't breathe (quietly though of course).

I also like doing the teasing *wink wink nudge nudge* stuff, saying "rrwaaaawrrr *wink*" and all that. 
For me, sex is all about fun and exploration. I love experimenting and figuring out what turns my girl on, and then applying that pressure with entertaining results. When that gets overstimulated or old, I go back to exploring some more and just try to find the awesome feedback I'm looking for.


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## openedskittles (May 24, 2009)

It seems this thread is drawing a lot more people of certain types than of others.


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

openedskittles said:


> It seems this thread is drawing a lot more people of certain types than of others.


yep. tends to happen. take a look at this forum... it mostly drags in N's. If you bring up a topic based on sex.... NF's will probably jump on it.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

thehigher said:


> If you bring up a topic based on sex.... NF's will probably jump on it.


In more ways than one. :laughing:


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## 480 (Jan 22, 2009)

Let's see... what do I like in bed... nice comfy sheets, doesn't have to be too fancy-flannel works just fine. A few pillows, prefer firm. Like to squeeze one between my knees, keep the spine aligned. As I get older the mattress becomes so much more important. I'm enjoying my 2 inch pillowtop, latex core, no springs... it saps the will to get out of bed right out of me.
Don't need a fan, or noise, or light... pitch black and dead quiet works fine for me.


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## Blackbird (Jan 14, 2010)

Grim said:


> Let's see... what do I like in bed... nice comfy sheets, doesn't have to be too fancy-flannel works just fine. A few pillows, prefer firm. Like to squeeze one between my knees, keep the spine aligned. As I get older the mattress becomes so much more important. I'm enjoying my 2 inch pillowtop, latex core, no springs... it saps the will to get out of bed right out of me.
> Don't need a fan, or noise, or light... pitch black and dead quiet works fine for me.


I prefer firm as well. Spine alignment is so very important.


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

If I was sexually active, I would appreciate anything new hehe


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## sensibly insensitive (Dec 20, 2009)

Everything and anything. As long as she's enjoying it, then I'm enjoying it....Until the cat walks in and just stares :dry:


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

sensibly insensitive said:


> Everything and anything. As long as she's enjoying it, then I'm enjoying it....Until the cat walks in and just stares :dry:


......lmao!


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