# When heads bump.



## DayLightSun (Oct 30, 2008)

Well at work I really try to be as helpful as I can be. 
My job can be very challenging. 
There is this other girl with less seniority then I. 
She is older. I think she finds me threatening.
I tried to help her twice with out her asking me. I really thought it was me just lending a hand I didn't even expect a thank you. All I wanted was her to know, so that she would be aware. 
And I get her telling me off for helping her.
I really think she might be an ESTJ. 
She is talkative, lacks emotion, and is pissy at very little things.
She once told me that she found two kids that were taking candy out of the server very annoying. Because they kept taking more candy every few minutes. 
I really wish I could not touch any of her assignments, but some things are so bad that I need to fix them. 
I really wish she would let me help her, but it seems like she likes to cause drama. 
I don't know what to do.:frustrating:


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## de l'eau salée (Nov 10, 2008)

Don't do anything .
Simple as that. You already attempted to and she flipped out on you. If she needs your help, she can ask. It's not your responsibility to help her.


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## DayLightSun (Oct 30, 2008)

Silhouetree said:


> Don't do anything .
> Simple as that. You already attempted to and she flipped out on you. If she needs your help, she can ask. It's not your responsibility to help her.


In some instances it is. 
I am higher up the pole then she is. 
Today it was an extereme case. 
I needed to do something.
Another coworker thought it was awesome what I did.
She couldn't stand me though.
She yelled at me and all I did was just stand strong.
She is very passive aggressive. 
Later on the day she would give me big smiles.
It was weird.


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## εmptε (Nov 20, 2008)

*ESTJ's are idiots, no offense T-Guy.

I hope that helps. :happy:
*


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## DayLightSun (Oct 30, 2008)

BadWolf said:


> *ESTJ's are idiots, no offense T-Guy.
> 
> I hope that helps. :happy:
> *


It kinda does. 
I really don't understand her.
I am not getting upset over the situation. 
I mean she tries to be my "friend" But I can tell she is talking behind my back because she sees me and looks down and tries to ignore me whiles shes talking about me. 
I know to be weary of her. But I seriously don't understand her.


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## Shai Gar (Jan 4, 2009)

Have her fired. You do not yell in the workplace. You specifically do not yell at higher ups who are just attempting to help. You REALLY do not do any of this in todays workplace where there are millions who want your job.

Alternatively tell the boss about this behaviour, and warn her that that is inappropriate behaviour. Fire her if she does it again.


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## starri (Jan 23, 2009)

From my limited point of view i think she has an inferiority problem, which explains why she wasn't happy when u tried to help her. If you want to create a win/win situation u can ask her to do stuff. It would mean to her that u need her and in the same time u get alot of stuff done  

Just throwing ideas out :tongue:


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## EspressiveGirl (Feb 6, 2009)

*This is about the fact that you are younger than she and you have seniority over her.*

*Plain and simple. *

*She resents this and when you try to help (which is your job and what you GET PAID TO DO) she feels like an idiot because she is ignorant of procedure. Because she is older than you she finds that humiliating and although she knows she is your subordinate and she must "play nice" she has no desire to do so...except that she can lose her job if she doesn't.*

*Stay outta her way as much as possible, as she is hostile toward you for no reason other than she is older than you and resentful of your position. Do what your boss expects you to do and if she rants because you are doing your job (God forbid...) then you tell her as kindly as possible, "This is what I get paid to do."*

*End of discussion.*


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## Shai Gar (Jan 4, 2009)

Fire her. She's retarded.


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## Xeraii (Feb 12, 2009)

Sounds like someone I know, and from experience I've learned not to try to understand or make sense of people like this. They don't follow any logical pattern, they're just idiots.

Ignore her. If need be, use the fact you're higher up on the chain.


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## Warriorqueen (Jan 3, 2009)

DayLightSun said:


> Well at work I really try to be as helpful as I can be.
> My job can be very challenging.
> There is this other girl with less seniority then I.
> She is older. I think she finds me threatening.
> ...



Always CYA.....Documentation is your Friend
Remember to keep seperate 'Her Probllems'...."Your Problems"
Let go of the 'Expectations of Frienship' even when it is a logical expectation
Discuss with your boss any concerns you have regarding her performance (Not her Jr High behavior)
As always, find someone (in real life) to discuss your feelings and process the situation.....Of course also talking on the forum.....like now...might help.....just mix in a little 'real life' too.
Close your eyes, Take a Deep Breath, Do what you Know is Right......And keep on 'rollin'


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## DayLightSun (Oct 30, 2008)

I do have confidants in the work place. And I'm not the only one that has notices that she has issues. Thank you every one all your comments were very insightful. 
Yes it's true. I do believe she has inferiority problems. 
I am in school and almost done with a degree that can make me become some one who can possibly be her boss. 
I liked starrynights comment about giving her something to do. 
That was different. 
Fortunately she is pretty good at what she does. I could not fire her just because we had a misunderstanding. 
Honestly speaking I've had this same problem all my life. This is the 3rd person I have these types of problems with. 
I start to see patterns.
I really don't know How I need to change to not get caught in these types of messes.


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## starri (Jan 23, 2009)

Glad to be of service roud:

Every person i think develops a certain pattern of response behavior from others. Don't change urself, u could possibly identify the triggers (success, being too detached, .. etc) and try to avoid emphasizing on them with certain unhealthy individuals.
I'm guessing alot of people would be stunned or bewildered by your character. That might trigger jealousy and eventually lead to hostile behavior. It's a guess though :tongue:

Keep me informed on how it goes plz


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## EspressiveGirl (Feb 6, 2009)

*This is what I've come to learn: There are lazy people who do next to nothing and hate it when you do more than they. They want what you have, but they don't want to do what you did to get it.*

*Then there are people who have a skewed sense of entitlement. They think that if they show up everyday, regardless of attitude or how piss poorly they do their job, they believe they should get what you get. Again, they don't want to do what you did to get where you are.*

*Envy is a horrible thing. Especially when you are a Master at what you do. Some people believe you just walked through the door and instantly became what you are...they don't know the blood, sweat and tears you put into what you do. They don't want to invest any of that, they just want the title and the prestige.*

*I stay out of the way of these people. They are bitter, delusional and they are usually the dead weight of the company...whatever field you are in. Keep doing what you've been doing...be you...it's working for you and it's getting you where you want to be. Until she is willing to LEARN from you, rather than be jealous of you, then she is a lost cause.*

*Gosh, I am in a cynical mood today...yikes! *EG...needs less caffeine this morning*:dry:*


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## DayLightSun (Oct 30, 2008)

Thank you again. 
Your right. I will pay no mind now. 
I will keep being the same happy, successful person I have been. :wink:


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## Shai Gar (Jan 4, 2009)

how come? didja gut her?


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## DayLightSun (Oct 30, 2008)

Shai Gar said:


> how come? didja gut her?


nope i haven't gone back. im in school right now.
Im only there 2 days a week


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