# I want to do something fun and I thought of this but...



## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

Well I thought of a fun idea, everybody leaves me out and never includes me so I was thinking I would go somewhere where people are included and with their friends and do something to make everyone uncomfortable/angry at me. I was thinking maybe I could start crying or be annoying somehow. I was just wondering where would be best to do this. I know this one guy irl who goes to clubs and I've never thought about that, maybe I could go to a club and start crying or accusing people of being mean to me, would that work to make everyone uncomfortable? Or is there a better place I could go? I mean, I've always wanted to ruin a party, but I never know where parties are because I never get invited to them so I'm thinking a club would probably be the closest thing, right?


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## Halcyon (Jun 21, 2013)




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## Psychophant (Nov 29, 2013)

Same old, eh? In the off chance that you're being serious, do not do that lol, because you won't ruin anyone's night but your own. You'll just be ignored (loud music makes that easy), _maybe_ laughed at, or possibly get your ass kicked if you're really obnoxious enough.


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

Yomiel said:


> Same old, eh? In the off chance that you're being serious, do not do that lol, because you won't ruin anyone's night but your own. You'll just be ignored (loud music makes that easy), _maybe_ laughed at, or possibly get your ass kicked if you're really obnoxious enough.


but if someone touches me in a threatening manner couldn't I have them arrested?


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## Psychophant (Nov 29, 2013)

JTHearts said:


> but if someone touches me in a threatening manner couldn't I have them arrested?


No lol. These are clubs full of drunken and unruly people, not government buildings. You could try, but you probably wouldn't get very far (plus we're skipping over the part where you get your ass kicked, and that's no fun). I forgot another highly plausible alternate ending in which you're simply kicked out by a bouncer for annoying other clubbers. All this, of course, isn't likely to get you included anytime in the future ofc.


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

Yomiel said:


> No lol. These are clubs full of drunken and unruly people, not government buildings. You could try, but you probably wouldn't get very far (plus we're skipping over the part where you get your ass kicked, and that's no fun). I forgot another highly plausible alternate ending in which you're simply kicked out by a bouncer for annoying other clubbers. All this, of course, isn't likely to get you included anytime in the future ofc.


I doubt I'll ever be included, that's why I want to ruin things for other people by making them uncomfortable


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## Psychophant (Nov 29, 2013)

JTHearts said:


> I doubt I'll ever be included, that's why I want to ruin things for other people by making them uncomfortable


Well, you can't. Sucks to suck, but if you're sitting at the bottom of the social hierarchy, no one is going to care if you reject them back, or act mildly obnoxiously around them. Really, it just lowers your status farther and makes you look pretty pathetic. If you want to be included, you could just, you know, go to the club and participate like anyone else. Most clubs aren't even exclusive lol. Pay $20, dance (alcohol helps here if that's your thing), talk to people, see how that works. I'm sure it's been said a billion times, but people probably don't like including you because, if this thread is reflective of your behavior around others, you tend to be vindictive and childish. Drop your ego and insecurities for a second, and it's likely people won't mind talking to you.

I should probably note that I've been to one club in my life with a couple friends, and it's not really a ton of fun, but if it's what you _really_ want to be included in, go crazy.. but really, it's just EDM music and lights.


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## AmandaLee (Aug 13, 2014)

Is this a troll thread? Seriously now?

By the rare chance that it's not and you're actually seriously considering this, I'm not at all surprised to hear you're never included in social events. Clearly you don't know what constitutes as inappropriate behavior. I don't know exactly how old you are, but let me tell you - you're too old to be acting like this. This is something one might expect from a 6-year-old.


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

AmandaLee said:


> Is this a troll thread? Seriously now?
> 
> By the rare chance that it's not and you're actually seriously considering this, I'm not at all surprised to hear you're never included in social events. Clearly you don't know what constitutes as inappropriate behavior. I don't know exactly how old you are, but let me tell you - you're too old to be acting like this. This is something one might expect from a 6-year-old.


so I'm just supposed to accept that no one will ever like me and I should just be alone all the time so that other people don't have to deal with me?


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## AmandaLee (Aug 13, 2014)

JTHearts said:


> so I'm just supposed to accept that no one will ever like me and I should just be alone all the time so that other people don't have to deal with me?


Or you could look into yourself and try accommodate your behavior so that you don't repel other people? Just a thought. If what you say is true and absolutely _nobody _likes you, the reason is likely to be found in you.


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## dragthewaters (Feb 9, 2013)

Didn't Elliott Rodger do exactly this a few months before his shooting spree?


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## Retsu (Aug 12, 2011)

JTHearts said:


> so I'm just supposed to accept that no one will ever like me and I should just be alone all the time so that other people don't have to deal with me?


Listening to what others say and using it to better yourself don't real


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

thismustbetheplace said:


> Didn't Elliott Rodger do exactly this a few months before his shooting spree?


I want all you people to stop comparing me to mass shooters. I'm not violent


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## dragthewaters (Feb 9, 2013)

JTHearts said:


> I want all you people to stop comparing me to mass shooters. I'm not violent


I'm just stating a fact. It was in his manifesto.

If multiple people are comparing you to mass shooters perhaps that should tell you something about how you are perceived and possible causes of your social difficulties?


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

thismustbetheplace said:


> I'm just stating a fact. It was in his manifesto.
> 
> If multiple people are comparing you to mass shooters perhaps that should tell you something about how you are perceived and possible causes of your social difficulties?


Yeah everyone thinks I'm a freak and I have no clue why other than I have Autism Spectrum Disorder. 

It really annoys me how these tumblr people can't get enough of Elliot Roger and ignore other mass shooters. What he did was no different than what other mass shooters have done yet feminists won't stop talking about him.


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## dragthewaters (Feb 9, 2013)

JTHearts said:


> Yeah everyone thinks I'm a freak and I have no clue why other than I have Autism Spectrum Disorder.
> 
> It really annoys me how these tumblr people can't get enough of Elliot Roger and ignore other mass shooters. What he did was no different than what other mass shooters have done yet feminists won't stop talking about him.


Maybe they are afraid of you because you act out, such as in the ways you described in this thread?

Personally I really don't pay attention to tumblr feminists; the only reason why I discuss Elliott Rodger is because he wrote a manifesto, which most mass shooters don't do, which gave more insight into his thought processes and background. I don't think his shooting spree was caused by a misogynistic culture any more than the Columbine shooting spree was caused by Marilyn Manson's music. He was just a disturbed individual -- he hated both men and women.


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## Retsu (Aug 12, 2011)

But seriously if you're trolling 10/10 on dedication.

2/10 for repetition of subject matter. Try harder to vary the "oh woe is me".

It's getting very old, very fast.

If you aren't a troll then LISTEN and stop making threads for the exact same problem at least once a week.


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

thismustbetheplace said:


> Maybe they are afraid of you because you act out, such as in the ways you described in this thread?
> 
> Personally I really don't pay attention to tumblr feminists; the only reason why I discuss Elliott Rodger is because he wrote a manifesto, which most mass shooters don't do, which gave more insight into his thought processes and background. I don't think his shooting spree was caused by a misogynistic culture any more than the Columbine shooting spree was caused by Marilyn Manson's music. He was just a disturbed individual -- he hated both men and women.


I don't act out though. I'm actually rather quiet and just sit there wishing someone would make the first move and talk to me for once.


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

Retsu said:


> But seriously if you're trolling 10/10 on dedication.
> 
> 2/10 for repetition of subject matter. Try harder to vary the "oh woe is me".
> 
> ...


I don't make the same threads. They may seem the same but to me they are very different problems.


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## Golden Rose (Jun 5, 2014)

JTHearts said:


> I don't act out though. I'm actually rather quiet and just sit there wishing someone would make the first move and talk to me for once.


There's nothing necessarily wrong with that.

There's a lot wrong with going to clubs just to annoy people and harassing them on purpose.
It's stupid, it's immature and it won't solve any of your problems if you're being serious.


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## Retsu (Aug 12, 2011)

JTHearts said:


> I don't make the same threads. They may seem the same but to me they are very different problems.


"I have an IQ of 148 and a processing speed of 86 how is this possible"

The threads may start out different, but it always leads to the same. "I'm depressed and I can't do anything about it oh woe is me" or "I hate this thing so everyone who likes it should be shot", like drugs. Because America is the only country in the world and drugs aren't legal anywhere else am I right?

Just... get some new material. Are you not sick of repeating the same stuff over and over?


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

Retsu said:


> "I have an IQ of 148 and a processing speed of 86 how is this possible"
> 
> The threads may start out different, but it always leads to the same. "I'm depressed and I can't do anything about it oh woe is me" or "I hate this thing so everyone who likes it should be shot", like drugs. Because America is the only country in the world and drugs aren't legal anywhere else am I right?
> 
> Just... get some new material. Are you not sick of repeating the same stuff over and over?


No, I actually don't get bored of that. It annoys everyone I talk to because I ask them the same things over and over and it seems like interesting questions to me but apparently they get tired of it


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## Retsu (Aug 12, 2011)

JTHearts said:


> No, I actually don't get bored of that. It annoys everyone I talk to because I ask them the same things over and over and it seems like interesting questions to me but apparently they get tired of it


Which is why you only do that to your friends.

I've asked a million times for them to take MBTI tests and it's become a running gag. You really need the charisma to be able to make it a gag rather than a bore.


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

Retsu said:


> Which is why you only do that to your friends.
> 
> I've asked a million times for them to take MBTI tests and it's become a running gag. You really need the charisma to be able to make it a gag rather than a bore.


how do I get charisma?


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## Word Dispenser (May 18, 2012)

JTHearts said:


> so I'm just supposed to accept that no one will ever like me and I should just be alone all the time so that other people don't have to deal with me?


Why would people _like_ you if you go out of your way to make them uncomfortable? 

It sounds like doing what you suggest would make it even worse for yourself.

Just do your best to blend in, find groups that share your interests, be polite/civil with people, and listen more than you speak.


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## Retsu (Aug 12, 2011)

JTHearts said:


> how do I get charisma?


By not making threads like this

EDIT: and plotting things like in the OP. Talk about the dog in the manger!


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## Pressed Flowers (Oct 8, 2014)

You've been told this already, but behavior such as what you're suggesting will not help people like you. It will actually make people not like you. I apologize that you have had such a hard time making friends - I definitely know what that feels like - but I can assure you that what you're planning on doing will not help. People are unkind. They do exclude others, and a lot of times their exclusions are cruel and hurtful. _But punishing others won't help._ It'll just drive more, potentially kind people away, and make you feel sick inside. It sucks in a way, but the best thing to do is to just be kind and friendly. This is what I do, and I mean I haven't made a ton of friends, but the friends I do make are worthwhile and fulfilling. Plus I feel good, because I'm able to put kindness back into the world. I think that this strategy may be helpful, particularly in juxtaposition to what this topic says you are planning on doing.


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

I'm not "planning" or "plotting" anything, I was asking if it would be a good idea. But I guess not. And idk how not making threads like this is going to give me charisma


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## Retsu (Aug 12, 2011)

JTHearts said:


> I'm not "planning" or "plotting" anything, I was asking if it would be a good idea. But I guess not. And idk how not making threads like this is going to give me charisma


It is a terrible idea and you know it is. 

By moping constantly, you produce a very negative vibe. Who would want to go near someone who is constantly miserable?
@alittlebear and @Word Dispenser are on point. Why don't you listen to them?


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## Pressed Flowers (Oct 8, 2014)

JTHearts said:


> I'm not "planning" or "plotting" anything, I was asking if it would be a good idea. But I guess not. And idk how not making threads like this is going to give me charisma


Alright, well... Take it from literally every person on this thread, it's not a very good idea at all. 

It's more of the attitude you have revealed on some of your threads. We don't know how you are in real life, but you seem like you might be a bit of a storm cloud to those around you... which of course you are not a storm cloud, but from the way you have considered presenting yourself, as well as some other things you have mentioned about how you behave, some may percieve you as a negative force and wish to stay away from you because of that. It would benefit you tremendously (I think many would agree with this) if you tried to come off as a bit more pleasant. It may be hard, especially with your depression, but at least trying to have a positive presence rather than a dark and stormy one could be very crucial in attracting friends of any kind.

I'm sorry if I am coming across as unkind or patronizing. I just wanted to clarify that I understand that you are not plotting anything, and to try to explain what we've been saying for a little while about how it may be beneficial to change your attitude slightly.


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## AmandaLee (Aug 13, 2014)

JTHearts said:


> I'm not "planning" or "plotting" anything, I was asking if it would be a good idea. But I guess not. And idk how not making threads like this is going to give me charisma


Many people who are reading this thread are probably wondering how your mind works in the first place, if you could seriously _consider_ what you suggested in the OP to be a _good idea_. 

Instead of having these pity parties that always end with either "I suck" or "people are stupid" (or both) try changing your own approach to things. You can't change how people perceive you, but you can change your attitude and therefore also your behavior. 

Considering that you seem to lack self-awareness and have obvious social deficits, it is quite possible that you suffer from something called mind-blindness. Since you have autism, you'll probably never become as good at interpreting social cues as a neurotypical, but you can always adjust and improve. But you're going to have to start reflecting if you want to see improvement, which you're just not doing presently.


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## nichya (Jul 12, 2014)

How about you change the attitude and I don't know try volunteering at a place? any place. Since I don't know you or your life and assuming you are very other people oriented, I can only think of this. That may not make people like you but they won't cut you off either and maybe you will get more comfortable being around people. For once actually try it before complaining how pointless it is and then you are free to complain.


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## Halcyon (Jun 21, 2013)

JTHearts said:


> how do I get charisma?


Um, you can't buy it in a store if that's what you mean.....

Honestly, just be genuinely kind to the people you do interact with because it might take a while but eventually people will notice that and want to be around you because in today's world, kindness is kinda a rare commodity. If you do that, everything will kind of fall into place and the friends will come. If you do what you were talking about in the OP, you'll just be digging your own grave and I honestly don't see how you could think that that might even be remotely helpful.


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## Grandalf (Jun 7, 2014)

really wish there was a 'no stars' rating. 

let me guess: you're reporting me for 'being mean'?


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## Pressed Flowers (Oct 8, 2014)

I remember wondering how one could acquire charisma when I was very little. I recall very distinctly watching Madeline, and the word "charisma" was used a lot. I didn't really know what it was, but I sort of wanted it. 

Now, I still don't quite know what "charisma" is, but I'm not as focused on that. To me, I just try to be approachable. That does the trick, to some extent. I still have people who strongly dislike me - I am, as I've said, annoying, too friendly, I come off as childlike, there will always be reasons people will find personally to dislike any person - but I also have quite a few people who tolerate me, and I've ever gathered a few friends along the way.

Of course, constant kindness is not the best strategy for everyone - some would see it as a hindrance for me - but it is definitely a strategy. 

On a practical level though, volunteering could be great for you. You do claim, if I remember correctly, to be an ESFJ and a 2, and if you identify with those types I imagine that some part of you enjoys helping others and bringing joy to them. That's good for an Fe-dom and a 2 especially, but generally it brings joy and fulfilment to... well, most anyone who takes it mildly seriously. Just getting out and trying to add kindness to the world (as I've mentioned already) in any way - helping others, volunteering, smiling, being productive, being active in a club, anything - could be enormously beneficial to you.


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## Cesspool (Aug 8, 2014)

You should totally do it bro.


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

I just realized I don't even need to do that stuff to make people annoyed at me. I annoy everybody simply by being there.


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## aef8234 (Feb 18, 2012)

JTHearts said:


> I just realized I don't even need to do that stuff to make people annoyed at me. I annoy everybody simply by being there.


If you're point is to annoy people, you're not doing a good enough job, I see.... only... like a dozen-ish people having a probability of being annoyed, and that's what? 0.25% of this place?
If ur point is to luv someone 5ever. You are doing an even worse job.
If you want attention? Go to tumblr. Much more butthurt eughs.


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## Hollow Man (Aug 12, 2011)

I think @JTHearts deserves a little credit for starting this thread. There are some constructive ideas in this original post that are lacking in a lot of his other posts.


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## Retsu (Aug 12, 2011)

Open Every Window said:


> I think @_JTHearts_ deserves a little credit for starting this thread. There are some constructive ideas in this original post that are lacking in a lot of his other posts.


Like what?


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## Hollow Man (Aug 12, 2011)

Retsu said:


> Like what?


He actually wants to try to invite someone with him to an event. That's different from his usual complaints or self-doubt. Sure, he's nervous about it and all but that's natural.


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## Retsu (Aug 12, 2011)

Open Every Window said:


> He actually wants to try to invite someone with him to an event. That's different from his usual complaints or self-doubt. Sure, he's nervous about it and all but that's natural.


Really?

*rereads*

I think you've misread. He was just talking about a guy who goes to clubs and wonders why he never thought of going to one before, rather than inviting the guy.

Though I prefer your interpretation. It's nice.


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## Hollow Man (Aug 12, 2011)

Retsu said:


> Really?
> 
> *rereads*
> 
> ...


Oh, I think I am thinking of a different thread of JT's...Oh, man, Maybe I'll link it. I looked at a few posts in this thread though, and I feel there's bullying going on. So, that's why I am here honestly, and I guess I wanted to chime in.


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## Hollow Man (Aug 12, 2011)

http://personalitycafe.com/advice-center/514250-should-i-ask-her-out-bad-idea.html


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## Hollow Man (Aug 12, 2011)

Ultimately, yes, the original post is a bad idea, but I think JT needs some friends to trust and people who will tolerate him. I don't like the direction this thread has taken. 

It's definitely unrealistic to expect people to come to you like he does. I like some advice others have offered thus far in the thread like word dispenser because I've done that myself a bit. Sometimes it's self-defeating, but sometimes people respect quiet people and come to you. Also, I may be on the autism spectrum as well, I don't like to share it and I am positive if I am or not, but anyways.


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## Retsu (Aug 12, 2011)

Open Every Window said:


> Ultimately, yes, the original post is a bad idea, but I think JT needs some friends to trust and people who will tolerate him. I don't like the direction this thread has taken.
> 
> It's definitely unrealistic to expect people to come to you like he does. I like some advice others have offered thus far in the thread like word dispenser because I've done that myself a bit. Sometimes it's self-defeating, but sometimes people respect quiet people and come to you. Also, I may be on the autism spectrum as well, I don't like to share it and I am positive if I am or not, but anyways.


When he's made forty threads about how depressed he is, are these threads really going to be taken seriously when it's obvious none of the advice given is taken on board? He's starting to just sound like a troll because of his extreme views and threads like this.


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## AmandaLee (Aug 13, 2014)

Open Every Window said:


> Ultimately, yes, the original post is a bad idea, but I think JT needs some friends to trust and people who will tolerate him. I don't like the direction this thread has taken.


There are certain behaviors that will never be tolerated by anybody. Purposely going out to antagonize people "just for the hell of it" is one of those behaviors. Asking the same questions over and over, even when people become visibly irritated, is another. If something isn't working, we change strategies. 

The reason why nobody initiates contact with the OP is most likely because he gives off an air of being inaccessible, aloof, and generally hostile. There might not even be any conscious exclusion going on. We humans instinctively judge one another's availability and openness based on observations regarding demeanor and the other person's interactions with their peers and their surroundings. No eye contact, stiff mimicry, a tense posture and a general "stay away from me!" aura is not going to invite others to start a conversation with you.


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## Hollow Man (Aug 12, 2011)

Retsu said:


> When he's made forty threads about how depressed he is, are these threads really going to be taken seriously when it's obvious none of the advice given is taken on board? He's starting to just sound like a troll because of his extreme views and threads like this.


Yes, a lot of us have tried to reach out to the guy for sure. I've tried to a few times myself, but it's hard to engage him. I personally don't think he's a troll though. This forum is definitely not a good format or structure for him to get help. Plus, he prb expects things to come easy, but that's just not how it works. It's probably going to be even harder for him than most normal people. He needs some kind of guide or professional or a really loving family member to accept him for who he is and to gently tell him when things are wrong or hurtful to other people. Making a lot of advice threads on his account has caused that for this particular community. He's crying wolf too much. But, the wolf is real most of the time, and I think he needs help and friends. 

JT, there's people who care about you out there. You've got to respect other people and listen to them as well, which can be challenging.
@AmandaLee 



> There are certain behaviors that will never be tolerated by anybody. Purposely going out to antagonize people "just for the hell of it" is one of those behaviors. Asking the same questions over and over, even when people become visibly irritated, is another. If something isn't working, we change strategies.
> 
> The reason why nobody initiates contact with the OP is most likely because he gives off an air of being inaccessible, aloof, and generally hostile. There might not even be any conscious exclusion going on. We humans instinctively judge one another's availability and openness based on observations regarding demeanor and the other person's interactions with their peers and their surroundings. No eye contact, stiff mimicry, a tense posture and a general "stay away from me!" aura is not going to invite others to start a conversation with you.


Really good technical explanation of what is probably happening to JT at times. I agree, and I am guilty of doing that myself from time to time for better or worst. I like to be left alone. Nice avatar!


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## AmandaLee (Aug 13, 2014)

Open Every Window said:


> Yes, a lot of us have tried to reach out to the guy for sure. I've tried to a few times myself, but it's hard to engage him. I personally don't think he's a troll though. This forum is definitely not a good format or structure for him to get help. Plus, he prb expects things to come easy, but that's just not how it works. It's probably going to be even harder for him than most normal people. He needs some kind of guide or professional or a really loving family member to accept him for who he is and to gently tell him when things are wrong or hurtful to other people. Making a lot of advice threads on his account has caused that for this particular community. He's crying wolf too much. But, the wolf is real most of the time, and I think he needs help and friends.


From what I've gathered, he's seen numerous mental health professionals over the years as well as been prescribed various strong psychoactive drugs. I get what you're saying, and someone to accept you exactly as you are would be nice, but the thing is that people - especially adults, and the OP _is_ an adult - do not make friends out of sympathy. Both parties must have something to offer the friendship. Nobody is actually entitled to friends, harsh though it sounds. Friendship is something you _earn_. 

The OP's behavior probably comes off as abnormal and disturbing, especially to his peer group. He seems pretty oblivious as to why, and yeah that most likely has to do with his autism spectrum disorder. A lot of the things taken for granted even by young children are not obvious at all to people on the spectrum. As far as emotions are concerned, he does seem to function like a much younger child. My point, however, is that a diagnosis can never be used as a tool for getting away with bad behavior or as a excuse for not trying. 



> Really good technical explanation of what is probably happening to JT at times. I agree, and I am guilty of doing that myself from time to time for better or worst. I like to be left alone. Nice avatar!



Thanks.  I like to be left alone as well and purposely sport the "unavailable" look pretty much always when I'm out doing errands, simply because I don't want random people to bother me.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

JTHearts said:


> Well I thought of a fun idea, everybody leaves me out and never includes me so I was thinking I would go somewhere where people are included and with their friends and do something to make everyone uncomfortable/angry at me. I was thinking maybe I could start crying or be annoying somehow. I was just wondering where would be best to do this. I know this one guy irl who goes to clubs and I've never thought about that, maybe I could go to a club and start crying or accusing people of being mean to me, would that work to make everyone uncomfortable? Or is there a better place I could go? I mean, I've always wanted to ruin a party, but I never know where parties are because I never get invited to them so I'm thinking a club would probably be the closest thing, right?


I think that's an amazing way to get negative attention and reinforce your low self-opinion. Maybe they'll even kick you out, call the cops, or refer you to the local pscyh-ward.


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

AmandaLee said:


> From what I've gathered, he's seen numerous mental health professionals over the years as well as been prescribed various strong psychoactive drugs. I get what you're saying, and someone to accept you exactly as you are would be nice, but the thing is that people - especially adults, and the OP _is_ an adult - do not make friends out of sympathy. Both parties must have something to offer the friendship. Nobody is actually entitled to friends, harsh though it sounds. Friendship is something you _earn_.
> 
> The OP's behavior probably comes off as abnormal and disturbing, especially to his peer group. He seems pretty oblivious as to why, and yeah that most likely has to do with his autism spectrum disorder. A lot of the things taken for granted even by young children are not obvious at all to people on the spectrum. As far as emotions are concerned, he does seem to function like a much younger child. My point, however, is that a diagnosis can never be used as a tool for getting away with bad behavior or as a excuse for not trying.


yeah, I once saw another doctor (not the ones who diagnosed me with ASD) who noticed something when he was examining my eyes (no clue what it was) and he had testing done on me too and it said I perceive the world much in a way a 6-9 year old does. That was when I was 16 though, it might be different now


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## Aya the Abysswalker (Mar 23, 2012)

JTHearts said:


> how do I get charisma?


By going out of your room.


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## AmandaLee (Aug 13, 2014)

JTHearts said:


> yeah, I once saw another doctor (not the ones who diagnosed me with ASD) who noticed something when he was examining my eyes (no clue what it was) and he had testing done on me too and it said I perceive the world much in a way a 6-9 year old does. That was when I was 16 though, it might be different now


That is unfortunate, to say the least, since that no doubt makes it very difficult for you to relate to other young adults, and vice versa. It's been said that it's easy to be sociable as a child, because not much is expected from you. As you get older, the demands in social awareness increase, and deviant behavior is tolerated less and less. 

You appear to have a very black and white sense of morality and from what I've gathered, you also have a propensity to interpret things quite... literally. For example, your questions as to how one goes about acquiring charisma and @Retsu's subsequent sarcastic reply, I get the feeling that you didn't quite realize it was supposed to be sarcastic. Are you usually the last one to get a joke (or not get it at all)? That can certainly put a crick in social interaction.


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## Retsu (Aug 12, 2011)

AmandaLee said:


> @_Retsu_'s subsequent sarcastic reply, I get the feeling that you didn't quite realize it was supposed to be sarcastic. Are you usually the last one to get a joke (or not get it at all)? That can certainly put a crick in social interaction.


To be fair, the edit was being serious but then he did indeed take the "not making threads like this" seriously by replying with "idk how not making threads like this is going to give me charisma". Maybe he could pass it off as being overly literal and making a gag out of it.


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

AmandaLee said:


> That is unfortunate, to say the least, since that no doubt makes it very difficult for you to relate to other young adults, and vice versa. It's been said that it's easy to be sociable as a child, because not much is expected from you. As you get older, the demands in social awareness increase, and deviant behavior is tolerated less and less.
> 
> You appear to have a very black and white sense of morality and from what I've gathered, you also have a propensity to interpret things quite... literally. For example, your questions as to how one goes about acquiring charisma and @_Retsu_'s subsequent sarcastic reply, I get the feeling that you didn't quite realize it was supposed to be sarcastic. Are you usually the last one to get a joke (or not get it at all)? That can certainly put a crick in social interaction.


yeah I am always the last one to get a joke, or not get it at all :/ I'm kind of slow


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## Hollow Man (Aug 12, 2011)

JTHearts said:


> yeah I am always the last one to get a joke, or not get it at all :/ I'm kind of slow


Me too at times, yo...especially in the past and probably at times now and the future(not as much though hopefully). I think that is a characteristic of autism/ADD at times(I may have one or both these myself). Not not getting jokes necessarily, but the way that one that isn't NT(neurotypical, not intuitive thinking) is going to have a more difficult time understanding things and taking things literally. Other general characteristics of being non-NT(ADD and or autism) are actually pretty spot on put out directly in AmandaLee's last post. Sometimes we can do bizarre things that are funny though to people or maybe charming(sometimes it can be extreme things that are completely inappropriate). It's a different kind of sense of humor that can be good in itself but not normal. I am slow to learn at things too in general.

I think your first post is kind of a revenge fantasy in a way that isn't necessarily bad in itself. People have thoughts like that from time to time, but it's not constructive and shouldn't have been communicated like you did. It could really harmful if you really pull through with it.. You really want something social to work out with others, but it's just not happening too well. To connect and that kind of thing. You especially want a romantic relationship too (don't we all, well there's a lot of us that do, me included). How to make friends? 

What should you do? Hmmm....I think finding a good job could be a great idea...a job that uses your concentration and mind and is natural to you....maybe some social interactions as well in the job with someone to talk to about it objectively after the job and about the meaning of your social interactions and maybe some of the hurts you encounter there. I don't really know you're situation at all exactly, so bear with me. 

Sorry, if you don't want me to talk to you...I will stop if you want. I am not really sure if I'm helping you too much, but I feel I may have gone through some similar thought patterns that you go through and even similar ways of thinking in general.


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## AmandaLee (Aug 13, 2014)

JTHearts said:


> yeah I am always the last one to get a joke, or not get it at all :/ I'm kind of slow


Have you tried finding friends amongst other people on the autism spectrum? Chances are you'd understand one another more easily.


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

Open Every Window said:


> Me too at times, yo...especially in the past and probably at times now and the future(not as much though hopefully). I think that is a characteristic of autism/ADD at times(I may have one or both these myself). Not not getting jokes necessarily, but the way that one that isn't NT(neurotypical, not intuitive thinking) is going to have a more difficult time understanding things and taking things literally. Other general characteristics of being non-NT(ADD and or autism) are actually pretty spot on put out directly in AmandaLee's last post. Sometimes we can do bizarre things that are funny though to people or maybe charming(sometimes it can be extreme things that are completely inappropriate). It's a different kind of sense of humor that can be good in itself but not normal. I am slow to learn at things too in general.
> 
> I think your first post is kind of a revenge fantasy in a way that isn't necessarily bad in itself. People have thoughts like that from time to time, but it's not constructive and shouldn't have been communicated like you did. It could really harmful if you really pull through with it.. You really want something social to work out with others, but it's just not happening too well. To connect and that kind of thing. You especially want a romantic relationship too (don't we all, well there's a lot of us that do, me included). How to make friends?
> 
> ...


It's okay, I'm glad you talk to me. And yes I do have a job, but I don't like it because my coworkers seem to all think I'm weird and creepy and I don't even mean to be  And yes I really want to connect with people. As for the romantic relationship, I met a girl on okcupid a few days ago who wants to be my gf and so I told her she could but she lives like 108 miles away  I would also love to make friends. 

I am in school to learn about computers, and I think that will be a good job for me but I doubt I could get a job doing it until after I get my degree and some certifications


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

AmandaLee said:


> Have you tried finding friends amongst other people on the autism spectrum? Chances are you'd understand one another more easily.


I've tried, my therapist told me to look into autism groups but most of them age out at 18 or are non existent now. My psychiatrist gave me some groups about a week ago though that I've been looking into


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## Hollow Man (Aug 12, 2011)

JTHearts said:


> It's okay, I'm glad you talk to me. And yes I do have a job, but I don't like it because my coworkers seem to all think I'm weird and creepy and I don't even mean to be  And yes I really want to connect with people. As for the romantic relationship, I met a girl on okcupid a few days ago who wants to be my gf and so I told her she could but she lives like 108 miles away  I would also love to make friends.
> 
> I am in school to learn about computers, and I think that will be a good job for me but I doubt I could get a job doing it until after I get my degree and some certifications


That's cool, congrats man! Yeah, I think computer-y things are a nice draw for auties/aspies, so keep it up and get into it. I am not too into computers unless I have to use them or there's something really motivating about them. I've become kind of obsessed with human interactions thus I am here right now. 

It's OK to be the weirdo at work. I am a weirdo at my job now, and I work alone a lot. Not a lot of people like to make an effort to talk to me either. I have to do a lot of work and effort to engage my co-workers who are in different departments than mine. People usually like me where I work because I seem to be really into it and take it seriously. Maybe that's how you are as well at your job. Eventually people may reach out to you and talk to you. At one of my last jobs, a co-worker of mind organized a bowling night before with a lot of other co-workers before I quit. It was a sweet gesture, so things may come to you at times and do good at your job. 

Congrats on reaching out to a lady friend too. I don't really know what to say about that. Learn for yourself, I suppose. It can be a tough time though. If I talk on the subject I may become patronizing or something, so I won't. So, I will just say good luck!


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