# Does anyone have any suggestions for jobs I could apply for RIGHT NOW?



## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

I'm sorry for bothering everyone, but I need advice and I don't really know where else to go. Some of the stuff in this post will probably have people going wtf, so a bit of context: My therapist says that I have C-PTSD.

I'm a 25-year-old woman with a high school diploma and a few certifications that basically just prove that I know how to use a computer and Microsoft Office (I got them when I studied office administration at Job Corps, which is a free career technical training program for disadvantaged youth), and I'm unemployed. I need a job. But I just have no idea what to look for. Physical jobs are probably a bad idea because I alternate between being spaced out and being overly perfectionistic when doing any type of physical task and this makes it very difficult for me to move quickly enough. I'd probably be fired for being too slow. Anything involving driving is out of the question because I have panic attacks if anything goes wrong when I'm driving and I'm not immediately able to park somewhere to deal with the issue. It would be unwise for me to be working closely with others. Sure, I MIGHT get along really well with my coworkers and cheerfully chat with with them all day (which may actually be a problem at some jobs, I guess, but it generally hasn't been an issue), but if I see them doing their jobs wrong, I'll be unable to resist saying something even though that's not my job and then an argument will ensue and I may get so overwhelmed that I'll start crying in front of everyone. If I apply for a job in a call center, I'm guessing they're probably gonna ask me in the interview how I've handled difficult customers or coworkers because that's what happened last time, and I won't have an answer that sounds good at all, so I probably can't do call center jobs and maybe I can't do ANYTHING that involves talking on the phone a lot. I don't know how to resolve conflicts. Usually I argue, get overwhelmed, possibly cry, leave the situation for a bit if I can, and then carry on like it didn't happen. Data entry seems like a safe option that I should be able to do without too much trouble, but data entry jobs are practically nonexistent now. Almost everything I ever see on Indeed falls under one of the categories of things I can't do.

As for what I CAN do, I'm a pretty fast typist. Typically I get around 80 WPM on typing tests, but I think the highest speed I've ever achieved was about 100 WPM. My 10-key speed is also pretty good. I do well on attention to detail assessments on Indeed. I can use Word, Excel, Outlook, and PowerPoint. I can do transcription as long as the audio quality is decent, though I've never used actual transcription software. (My first job was transcribing voice mails into patients' charts at a medical clinic. It was actually a pretty entertaining job because the patients said really funny stuff sometimes.) I have some experience with filing. I can do basic proofreading, though I don't have any professional experience. Here's a basic explanation of each job I've had:

Administrative clerk in the shipping and receiving department of an electronics company. I frequently worked with SAP, Excel, and Outlook, and I also did some light warehouse work.
Bakery/deli team associate at Walmart
"Asset specialist" for a ticket broker. Basically the person buying the tickets. (Don't judge me. I needed a job.)
Audit specialist for an insurance broker. I was verifying data and entering it into Excel.
Administrative assistant for an employee at Job Corps. This was unpaid work-based learning. I mostly was just entering information into a database, typing things for the employee I was working for, and taking messages or contacting him when people called or came to his office while he was away.
Transcriptionist.
If anyone has any suggestions for jobs I could apply for right now, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Btw, yes, I know I'm missing really basic professional skills and I need therapy. When I posted about this on Reddit, I was told that it would be more productive to just focus on therapy for now so I can get past the issues that cause me to be so limited in what jobs I can do, and in an ideal world, I would absolutely just be focusing on therapy right now. But I don't have that luxury. If I don't get a job, I'll run out of money and then I won't be able to pay for therapy anymore. I HAVE to find a job.


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## skyboy (Jul 6, 2021)

Medical secretary is the first thing that comes to mind. (but I don't know about diplomas required in the US).


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## littlewyng (Sep 17, 2020)

So I think you are getting really worried about the environment of the job and how it will affect you rather than figuring out what you really want to do and working with the therapist to help you with the challenges you face working toward that goal. Everyone deserves to have goals that make them feel happy, not just a job to earn money. That being said, those pesky bills are there in the meantime. If you had some experience in the insurance world, I would definitely recommend pursuing that. Most insurance brokers right now are desperately looking for workers, and many of them allow work from home, which would help you to work through things with your therapist and control the environment a little bit while you heal.


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

littlewyng said:


> So I think you are getting really worried about the environment of the job and how it will affect you rather than figuring out what you really want to do and working with the therapist to help you with the challenges you face working toward that goal. Everyone deserves to have goals that make them feel happy, not just a job to earn money. That being said, those pesky bills are there in the meantime. If you had some experience in the insurance world, I would definitely recommend pursuing that. Most insurance brokers right now are desperately looking for workers, and many of them allow work from home, which would help you to work through things with your therapist and control the environment a little bit while you heal.


I don't actually know anything about insurance. All I did when I was working for an insurance broker (if that's even the right word for what they do; it was SelectQuote) was look up customers' current Medicare plans and enter them into a spreadsheet and verify their statuses in the company's revenue tracking system.


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## thedazzlingdexter (12 mo ago)

melody5697 said:


> I'm sorry for bothering everyone, but I need advice and I don't really know where else to go. Some of the stuff in this post will probably have people going wtf, so a bit of context: My therapist says that I have C-PTSD.
> 
> I'm a 25-year-old woman with a high school diploma and a few certifications that basically just prove that I know how to use a computer and Microsoft Office (I got them when I studied office administration at Job Corps, which is a free career technical training program for disadvantaged youth), and I'm unemployed. I need a job. But I just have no idea what to look for. Physical jobs are probably a bad idea because I alternate between being spaced out and being overly perfectionistic when doing any type of physical task and this makes it very difficult for me to move quickly enough. I'd probably be fired for being too slow. Anything involving driving is out of the question because I have panic attacks if anything goes wrong when I'm driving and I'm not immediately able to park somewhere to deal with the issue. It would be unwise for me to be working closely with others. Sure, I MIGHT get along really well with my coworkers and cheerfully chat with with them all day (which may actually be a problem at some jobs, I guess, but it generally hasn't been an issue), but if I see them doing their jobs wrong, I'll be unable to resist saying something even though that's not my job and then an argument will ensue and I may get so overwhelmed that I'll start crying in front of everyone. If I apply for a job in a call center, I'm guessing they're probably gonna ask me in the interview how I've handled difficult customers or coworkers because that's what happened last time, and I won't have an answer that sounds good at all, so I probably can't do call center jobs and maybe I can't do ANYTHING that involves talking on the phone a lot. I don't know how to resolve conflicts. Usually I argue, get overwhelmed, possibly cry, leave the situation for a bit if I can, and then carry on like it didn't happen. Data entry seems like a safe option that I should be able to do without too much trouble, but data entry jobs are practically nonexistent now. Almost everything I ever see on Indeed falls under one of the categories of things I can't do.
> 
> ...


Get a job as a cleaner for a hotel.


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## Handsome Dyke (Oct 4, 2012)

[email protected]


[email protected] is part of the non-profit National Telecommuting Institute. We are an authorized Social Security Administration Employment Network. Our mission is to train and assist people with disabilities and those who care for them to get work-from-home call center jobs.




www.ntiathome.org





call center jobs for disabled people. they train


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## Handsome Dyke (Oct 4, 2012)

oh i forgot to ask what country you are in. nti is for USians


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

Someone else mentioned medical secretary. I think this could be related. They have jobs called medical scribe where you work alongside a doctor and basically take notes and file provider documentation for them. And in some cases you might be able to do the job remotely. You'll just be paired up with one person, which is an advantage. In theory doctors should be able to work well with other humans. You can be detailed and thorough in your notes, and you definitely won't be able to tell the doctor how to do their job lol. If you needed another job on the side you could alternate between this and transcriptionist job. I thought those were pretty widely available on Indeed.

Edit: you don't need certifications, just fast typing skills and medical terminology


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

thedazzlingdexter said:


> Get a job as a cleaner for a hotel.


I'd probably be too slow... Especially since I would absolutely want to do it right and I've heard that they often DON'T do it right.


Handsome **** said:


> [email protected]
> 
> 
> [email protected] is part of the non-profit National Telecommuting Institute. We are an authorized Social Security Administration Employment Network. Our mission is to train and assist people with disabilities and those who care for them to get work-from-home call center jobs.
> ...


Working in an office is not an issue for me. When I said that a job involving driving is a bad idea, I just meant that driving shouldn't be part of the job. As long as I have my GPS telling me what to do if I miss a turn or something, everything is fine. Actually ending up in a situation that triggers a panic attack while I'm driving isn't really that common (usually it's because I got lost when I wasn't using my GPS for whatever reason and there's nowhere I can stop to look up directions, or because my GPS crashed when I was driving on an unfamiliar route, or because I arrived at my destination only to discover that there's absolutely no parking and I'm stuck just driving aimlessly), but the fact that it happens at all means that I really should avoid any jobs involving driving. (I don't think they'd be impressed if I was driving one of those Amazon delivery vans and then whatever navigation system they use crashed and I started screaming and crying...) You're the second person to suggest customer service, so I guess I didn't explain things very well (though I'm not sure what part of "I probably can't do call center jobs" you didn't understand). While I didn't have many issues as far as helping customers went when I was working at Walmart, I think that was mainly just because it was so rare for the customers to already be upset when I was helping them. On the rare occasion that someone was actually upset, I honestly didn't really handle it very well at all. And if people are calling customer service, it's much more likely that they're already gonna be angry. In an interview for a customer service job, it's very likely that they're gonna ask me about times I've had to deal with difficult customers or coworkers, right? But I won't have an answer that won't make me look bad, because I DON'T handle it well when I have to deal with difficult people. I have had frequent conflicts with coworkers at my last three jobs that resulted in me getting overwhelmed and suddenly breaking down crying. Even if I end up handling angry customers better than expected, that doesn't change the fact that I don't have any examples of me handling difficult people well to describe when I'm asked about it in an interview. I really don't think customer service is a good fit. That's why I'm having so much trouble finding jobs to apply for.


OrchidSugar said:


> Someone else mentioned medical secretary. I think this could be related. They have jobs called medical scribe where you work alongside a doctor and basically take notes and file provider documentation for them. And in some cases you might be able to do the job remotely. You'll just be paired up with one person, which is an advantage. In theory doctors should be able to work well with other humans. You can be detailed and thorough in your notes, and you definitely won't be able to tell the doctor how to do their job lol. If you needed another job on the side you could alternate between this and transcriptionist job. I thought those were pretty widely available on Indeed.
> 
> Edit: you don't need certifications, just fast typing skills and medical terminology


I don't actually know much medical terminology. I was mostly transcribing voice mails from patients at my first job, not doctors. I wish I'd done the medical assistant program at Job Corps instead of office administration when they got rid of the trade I actually wanted to do instead of just assuming I would hate it because of how overworked all the MAs at my first job were...


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

melody5697 said:


> I don't actually know much medical terminology. I was mostly transcribing voice mails from patients at my first job, not doctors. I wish I'd done the medical assistant program at Job Corps instead of office administration when they got rid of the trade I actually wanted to do instead of just assuming I would hate it because of how overworked all the MAs at my first job were...


I would try to finagle it anyway. Since you have transcription skills and experience working with an insurance provider. You might be able to tell a convincing enough story there, and if you get hired then you can learn as you go.


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

OrchidSugar said:


> I would try to finagle it anyway. Since you have transcription skills and experience working with an insurance provider. You might be able to tell a convincing enough story there, and if you get hired then you can learn as you go.


Are you suggesting that I should lie???


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

melody5697 said:


> Are you suggesting that I should lie???


No, I would never!!!


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

OrchidSugar said:


> No, I would never!!!


Sorry. I guess I just misinterpreted the "tell a convincing enough story" part.


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

melody5697 said:


> Sorry. I guess I just misinterpreted the "tell a convincing enough story" part.


Well you would be telling the truth based on your job history. That you have experience working in a behind-the-scenes capacity, doing clerical/administrative work to support the company and its clients/customers.


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## Bella2016 (Mar 5, 2013)

melody5697 said:


> Btw, yes, I know I'm missing really basic professional skills and I need therapy. When I posted about this on Reddit, I was told that it would be more productive to just focus on therapy for now so I can get past the issues that cause me to be so limited in what jobs I can do, and in an ideal world, I would absolutely just be focusing on therapy right now. But I don't have that luxury. If I don't get a job, I'll run out of money and then I won't be able to pay for therapy anymore. I HAVE to find a job.


Yeah I agree, you don't just do therapy until you're better. Part of the process is getting back your life with the help of your therapist. It's about doing life with your therapist there to guide you and help you while you readjust.


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## secondpassing (Jan 13, 2018)

I believe you will be able to do these jobs. Most will hire immediately and with minimal interviewing time:

Warehouse, Amazon, FedEx, UPS
Mail clerk/sorter
Mail carrier assistant, City carrier assistant
Chipotle
Pharmacy Technician, no-specialization, not hospital
Barista
Dental sterilization technician
Cleaner, hospital
Logistics technician, hospital
Laboratory assistant 
Food service, hospital/school
Secretary, school
Order entry technician
Ramp agent


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

melody5697 said:


> Usually I argue, get overwhelmed, possibly cry, leave the situation for a bit if I can, and then carry on like it didn't happen.


So you pick a fight, get triggered, cry then leave? Hmmm... Isolated jobs where u can work in silos I would say suits best.




melody5697 said:


> "Asset specialist" for a ticket broker. Basically the person buying the tickets. (Don't judge me. I needed a job.)


 Why would anyone judge you for that when these days u can sell feet pics as a job or in Japan, be that guy that charges people to hang around and do nothing.
[/QUOTE]
Can you claim you're mentally ill to the govt so they put u on programs that help give jobs to the mentally ill? It's not saying you're mentally ill but giving you an advantage in terms of getting you a job, playing the system so to speak.


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

secondpassing said:


> Warehouse, Amazon, FedEx, UPS
> Mail clerk/sorter


I'd be fired for being too slow.


secondpassing said:


> Mail carrier assistant, City carrier assistant





secondpassing said:


> Ramp agent


These require driving. The night before last, I spent 15 minutes driving in circles in a parking garage SCREAMING AND CRYING and yelling about how scared I was in a childish voice just because there wasn't a single open spot and I had no idea where to go and I couldn't stop my car to look up directions to another parking garage. When I was FORCED to stop because somebody else stopped for an extended period of time, I got even more freaked out until I realized I finally had a chance to look up directions to another parking garage. I started to calm down a bit, but then I started screaming and crying AGAIN and also hyperventilating when I was trying to exit the parking lot and there were cars on the street and I didn't know when I'd have a chance to turn. This also happens if my GPS crashes while I'm on an unfamiliar route and there isn't a parking lot I can pull into or something, or if I'm driving without a GPS and I make a wrong turn or miss a turn and there's nowhere to stop. And I get so freaked out that I actually MISS opportunities to stop. These situations don't happen often because I switched to a different GPS app when the other one started crashing all the time and I use GPS on all but the shortest, simplest routes, but the fact that it happens AT ALL means that driving for a living is a very, very bad idea. I can't risk being in that state while driving at work. It's possible that this wouldn't be an issue if I was a ramp agent due to the nature of the driving involved, but they also have to be able to lift 70 pounds. I can only lift 40.


secondpassing said:


> Chipotle





secondpassing said:


> Barista





secondpassing said:


> Food service, hospital/school


Working with fresh food is out of the question. My problems at Walmart started when I found out about the sanitation issues. While Walmart was unusually bad, from what I've heard, there are ALWAYS health code violations in restaurants and coffeeshops and stuff. Even though I know it's irrational, I will absolutely worry about customers getting sick. A hospital MIGHT be okay because maybe they'll actually follow the rules to keep the patients safe, but if they DON'T, then it'll be even worse because I'll know for a fact that food prepared in an environment that isn't up to code is being served to IMMUNOCOMPROMISED PATIENTS. I just can't deal with that. And people will be mad at me for telling on everyone for not following proper food safety guidelines, and still nothing will change.

I guess I'll look into the rest, but all the laboratory assistant jobs I've ever looked at require experience that I don't have, there weren't any order entry jobs last I checked, pharmacy technicians need certification in my state and only Walgreen's has an apprenticeship program here, it looks like dental sterilization technician positions are mostly for people who are actually looking to start a career in dentistry (which I absolutely DO NOT want because bad teeth are the worst thing ever) and it's unlikely that I'd be chosen over someone who's actually interested in working in the field, and nothing relevant shows up when I search for hospital logistics technician on indeed, and there's STILL the fact that I've had frequent conflicts with my coworkers at my last three jobs.


ENTJudgement said:


> So you pick a fight, get triggered, cry then leave? Hmmm... Isolated jobs where u can work in silos I would say suits best.


That's not EXACTLY what happens... If I'm the one who started the conflict, it's because either I perceived something the other person said as an attack and got defensive, or I tried to correct a coworker who was doing her job wrong and she didn't listen and I got mad and started yelling at her.


ENTJudgement said:


> Why would anyone judge you for that when these days u can sell feet pics as a job or in Japan, be that guy that charges people to hang around and do nothing.


Someone once told me that there was a special place in hell for me when I mentioned the kind of work I did.


ENTJudgement said:


> Can you claim you're mentally ill to the govt so they put u on programs that help give jobs to the mentally ill? It's not saying you're mentally ill but giving you an advantage in terms of getting you a job, playing the system so to speak.


I AM mentally ill... I said in the beginning of the post that my therapist says I have C-PTSD. However, even with my periods of unemployment, I'm employed enough of the time to be well above the poverty line, so I doubt I'd qualify. I actually was at each of my last two jobs for over a year. I even got lucky and I was only unemployed for a couple weeks between getting fired from Walmart (I was late too many times) and being hired at my last job. Walmart is the only place that fired me, though my mental health issues are what caused me to not apply for the permanent role at my last job (leading to my awful coworker getting it and being the one who got to stay when there was no longer enough work for both of us) and I've always suspected that the ticket broker just used the pandemic as an excuse to get rid of me because I'm pretty sure everyone else got to keep their jobs. Two months of unemployment after a little over two years of employment (with less than a month spent unemployed between the two jobs I worked in those two years) probably isn't enough to demonstrate that I'm disabled enough to need that kind of help.


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

The way you describe your work ethic, I'm starting to think you should apply for the DMV. I think you would fit in, it's just processing paperwork, and it seems like one of those jobs that no one can really get fired from. Nice benefits, etc.


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

Ms. Aligned said:


> The way you describe your work ethic, I'm starting to think you should apply for the DMV. I think you would fit in, it's just processing paperwork, and it seems like one of those jobs that no one can really get fired from. Nice benefits, etc.


I'm actually not sure what you're implying about my work ethic...


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

melody5697 said:


> I'm actually not sure what you're implying about my work ethic...


The way you describe yourself on the job, fired for being too slow, being late all the time, etc. I stated in another thread you remind me of my sister who has that...floaty....Ophelia vibe to her as well. She had a county job for a while just processing papers and she loved it until she decided to quit to go back to school. 

It has good medical and health benefits, offers things like FMLA for ongoing absences due to medical or mental health issues, it's next to impossible to be fired once you're in, and the pace seems to align with how you describe yourself. It's one of the more stable jobs you can get. I think, realistically, you would do well. Or at least, not have the same types of stressors as other jobs.


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## MadMaxSDP (2 mo ago)

melody5697 said:


> I'm sorry for bothering everyone, but I need advice and I don't really know where else to go. Some of the stuff in this post will probably have people going wtf, so a bit of context: My therapist says that I have C-PTSD.
> 
> I'm a 25-year-old woman with a high school diploma and a few certifications that basically just prove that I know how to use a computer and Microsoft Office (I got them when I studied office administration at Job Corps, which is a free career technical training program for disadvantaged youth), and I'm unemployed. I need a job. But I just have no idea what to look for. Physical jobs are probably a bad idea because I alternate between being spaced out and being overly perfectionistic when doing any type of physical task and this makes it very difficult for me to move quickly enough. I'd probably be fired for being too slow. Anything involving driving is out of the question because I have panic attacks if anything goes wrong when I'm driving and I'm not immediately able to park somewhere to deal with the issue. It would be unwise for me to be working closely with others. Sure, I MIGHT get along really well with my coworkers and cheerfully chat with with them all day (which may actually be a problem at some jobs, I guess, but it generally hasn't been an issue), but if I see them doing their jobs wrong, I'll be unable to resist saying something even though that's not my job and then an argument will ensue and I may get so overwhelmed that I'll start crying in front of everyone. If I apply for a job in a call center, I'm guessing they're probably gonna ask me in the interview how I've handled difficult customers or coworkers because that's what happened last time, and I won't have an answer that sounds good at all, so I probably can't do call center jobs and maybe I can't do ANYTHING that involves talking on the phone a lot. I don't know how to resolve conflicts. Usually I argue, get overwhelmed, possibly cry, leave the situation for a bit if I can, and then carry on like it didn't happen. Data entry seems like a safe option that I should be able to do without too much trouble, but data entry jobs are practically nonexistent now. Almost everything I ever see on Indeed falls under one of the categories of things I can't do.
> 
> ...


With your skills you could also go into medical billing, accounts receivable specialist, accounts payable specialist, collections, or find a small accounting firm looking for a secretary or tax preparer. If you hate accounting then don’t consider it but there are different types of accounting.


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## bifurcations (Jan 31, 2021)

You can sing, girl, put an ad up on Fiverr saying that you'll sing someone's song for them. For more money, say that you'll write a song for them (just make sure you state in the ad that you retain the copyright).

There's also voice acting. It takes a while to get clients, but you'll probably book some eventually. I just did.


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

Ms. Aligned said:


> The way you describe yourself on the job, fired for being too slow, being late all the time, etc. I stated in another thread you remind me of my sister who has that...floaty....Ophelia vibe to her as well. She had a county job for a while just processing papers and she loved it until she decided to quit to go back to school.
> 
> It has good medical and health benefits, offers things like FMLA for ongoing absences due to medical or mental health issues, it's next to impossible to be fired once you're in, and the pace seems to align with how you describe yourself. It's one of the more stable jobs you can get. I think, realistically, you would do well. Or at least, not have the same types of stressors as other jobs.


Oh. The being late all the time thing was actually a bit more complicated than that, lol. Whenever I start a new job, I'm late all the time at first. Eventually I get a written warning, and then I fix it and I arrive just barely on time the vast majority of the time and then they don't really care when I'm a little late every once in a while. What happened at Walmart was that you can actually be late every single day with no consequences as long as you submit a request for PPTO within a week after being late, but there was a misunderstanding of how the system worked. I thought it rounded to the nearest 15 minutes (or whatever the increment was; let's just go with 15 minutes), so that if I was 16 minutes late, I only had to request 15 minutes of PPTO. Yeah... That's not how it worked. If I was 16 minutes late, I had to request 30 minutes of PPTO. So sometimes I ended up not requesting enough PPTO (or entirely forgetting to request it) and I got points, and I wasn't checking how many I had and they added up and eventually I had too many and I couldn't do anything about it and I got fired.

I've actually never been fired for being too slow. It's just something that I'm pretty sure will happen if I work in jobs that are primarily physical tasks and they're not just keeping me around because they're understaffed as it is (and a slow worker is better than no worker). I've mostly avoided jobs where that would be an issue. I mean, my issue at my FIRST job (the one where I was transcribing voice mails) was that I was too slow, but I was also on medication that made me unable to concentrate. Except I didn't realize what a big change it was and I thought I just had ADHD, but I couldn't take traditional ADHD medication because I was taking bipolar medication. (I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was 15 and it took me five years to figure out the diagnosis was wrong.) Eventually I was prescribed a non-stimulant ADHD medication called Strattera and that helped counteract the effects of my medication and I was finally able to be as productive as my coworkers, but then I started getting depressed and stuff and sometimes my numbers were REALLY low. So I was put on forced medical leave and I basically was forced to quit because the problem wasn't solved quickly enough. Being too slow was an issue at WALMART and I was always in trouble for it, but it had nothing to do with why I got fired. They couldn't fire me until Walmart policy required them to because they couldn't even hire enough people to fully staff the bakery and deli in the afternoon. Slowness was a bit of an issue at my last job, but there honestly wasn't usually that much work to do and I still often ended up running out of work before the end of the day, so it never caused any problems. And when I was working for that ticket broker, I actually ended up getting really productive when I started competing with my coworkers to see who could spend the most on tickets each day. I actually ended up often outperforming the previous top performer after they told him to go in order instead of skewing the numbers by skipping small/cheap orders and only doing large/expensive orders. The reason I think they used the pandemic as an excuse to get rid of me is because I was always making a big deal out of stuff potentially being illegal.

I'm confused by the "floaty Ophelia vibe" thing, though... Before you included the word floaty, I thought that the Ophelia comparison meant you were saying I'm self-destructive like Ophelia. Like, I basically thought you were calling me an Opheliac. Now I have no idea what you mean.


MadMaxSDP said:


> With your skills you could also go into medical billing, accounts receivable specialist, accounts payable specialist, collections, or find a small accounting firm looking for a secretary or tax preparer. If you hate accounting then don’t consider it but there are different types of accounting.


I've seen jobs like that listed on Indeed. They require either college or experience that I don't have...


bifurcations said:


> You can sing, girl, put an ad up on Fiverr saying that you'll sing someone's song for them. For more money, say that you'll write a song for them (just make sure you state in the ad that you retain the copyright).
> 
> There's also voice acting. It takes a while to get clients, but you'll probably book some eventually. I just did.


Um... I need something stable. And I don't have a decent microphone. And I can't write songs.


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

melody5697 said:


> Oh. The being late all the time thing was actually a bit more complicated than that, lol. Whenever I start a new job, I'm late all the time at first. Eventually I get a written warning, and then I fix it and I arrive just barely on time the vast majority of the time and then they don't really care when I'm a little late every once in a while. What happened at Walmart was that you can actually be late every single day with no consequences as long as you submit a request for PPTO within a week after being late, but there was a misunderstanding of how the system worked. I thought it rounded to the nearest 15 minutes (or whatever the increment was; let's just go with 15 minutes), so that if I was 16 minutes late, I only had to request 15 minutes of PPTO. Yeah... That's not how it worked. If I was 16 minutes late, I had to request 30 minutes of PPTO. So sometimes I ended up not requesting enough PPTO (or entirely forgetting to request it) and I got points, and I wasn't checking how many I had and they added up and eventually I had too many and I couldn't do anything about it and I got fired.
> 
> I've actually never been fired for being too slow. It's just something that I'm pretty sure will happen if I work in jobs that are primarily physical tasks and they're not just keeping me around because they're understaffed as it is (and a slow worker is better than no worker). I've mostly avoided jobs where that would be an issue. I mean, my issue at my FIRST job (the one where I was transcribing voice mails) was that I was too slow, but I was also on medication that made me unable to concentrate. Except I didn't realize what a big change it was and I thought I just had ADHD, but I couldn't take traditional ADHD medication because I was taking bipolar medication. (I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was 15 and it took me five years to figure out the diagnosis was wrong.) Eventually I was prescribed a non-stimulant ADHD medication called Strattera and that helped counteract the effects of my medication and I was finally able to be as productive as my coworkers, but then I started getting depressed and stuff and sometimes my numbers were REALLY low. So I was put on forced medical leave and I basically was forced to quit because the problem wasn't solved quickly enough. Being too slow was an issue at WALMART and I was always in trouble for it, but it had nothing to do with why I got fired. They couldn't fire me until Walmart policy required them to because they couldn't even hire enough people to fully staff the bakery and deli in the afternoon. Slowness was a bit of an issue at my last job, but there honestly wasn't usually that much work to do and I still often ended up running out of work before the end of the day, so it never caused any problems. And when I was working for that ticket broker, I actually ended up getting really productive when I started competing with my coworkers to see who could spend the most on tickets each day. I actually ended up often outperforming the previous top performer after they told him to go in order instead of skewing the numbers by skipping small/cheap orders and only doing large/expensive orders. The reason I think they used the pandemic as an excuse to get rid of me is because I was always making a big deal out of stuff potentially being illegal.
> 
> ...


Yeah, I still think a government job would support your needs and pace. 

The Ophelia vibe is from the character Ophelia. But not because she was mad or anything. Every time I pictured her character it was with like a dreamy, kind of disconnected, floating through life, no urgency but longing, kind of distracted vibe. Very ethereal....floaty...


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## Rihanna (Nov 30, 2020)

I have some ideas for you. PM me your city and if I can find something appropriate I'll let you know.

Also, are you creative? What do you enjoy?


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## bifurcations (Jan 31, 2021)

If you have the diagnosis of a serious mental illness like bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia, etc. and maybe have some hospitalizations, then you can apply for disability income in the United States. Have you talked to your community mental health center or case manager about that?


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## secondpassing (Jan 13, 2018)

melody5697 said:


> I'd be fired for being too slow.
> 
> These require driving. The night before last, I spent 15 minutes driving in circles in a parking garage SCREAMING AND CRYING and yelling about how scared I was in a childish voice just because there wasn't a single open spot and I had no idea where to go and I couldn't stop my car to look up directions to another parking garage. When I was FORCED to stop because somebody else stopped for an extended period of time, I got even more freaked out until I realized I finally had a chance to look up directions to another parking garage. I started to calm down a bit, but then I started screaming and crying AGAIN and also hyperventilating when I was trying to exit the parking lot and there were cars on the street and I didn't know when I'd have a chance to turn. This also happens if my GPS crashes while I'm on an unfamiliar route and there isn't a parking lot I can pull into or something, or if I'm driving without a GPS and I make a wrong turn or miss a turn and there's nowhere to stop. And I get so freaked out that I actually MISS opportunities to stop. These situations don't happen often because I switched to a different GPS app when the other one started crashing all the time and I use GPS on all but the shortest, simplest routes, but the fact that it happens AT ALL means that driving for a living is a very, very bad idea. I can't risk being in that state while driving at work. It's possible that this wouldn't be an issue if I was a ramp agent due to the nature of the driving involved, but they also have to be able to lift 70 pounds. I can only lift 40.
> 
> ...


I don't know about Amazon, but FedEx abolished their quota counts because they want workers to work safely. Their workforce is very diverse. You won't be fired for slowness or for being unable to lift a lot of weight.

I specifically listed mail carrier assistant instead of mail carrier because the assistant is the one that sits next to the driver. They get paid less than the driver, but for the company, sending people out in twos probably increases worker retention.

Baristas generally handle very safe food items and mainly just coffee which you can leave on a counter in the sun no problem. I'm rather confident Chipotle has strict policies on food safety after having previous supply chain issues.

Not all ramp agents drive. They just work on the airport ramp, and a majority of those positions involve pushing containers over a wheeled surface.

Pharmacy technicians needed eventual certification after a year, but to be employed you just need a license. Basically the same in my state as in yours because the ptboard is national. To get a license you need $67 dollars and a trip to the fingerprinter.

If you apply to a job you think you're not competitive in, what's the worst they could do? Reject you? Just do your best. I think your chances of being hired are higher than you think.


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

Ms. Aligned said:


> Yeah, I still think a government job would support your needs and pace.
> 
> The Ophelia vibe is from the character Ophelia. But not because she was mad or anything. Every time I pictured her character it was with like a dreamy, kind of disconnected, floating through life, no urgency but longing, kind of distracted vibe. Very ethereal....floaty...


I think I will apply for government jobs, if for no other reason than because I'll definitely have access to the insurance I need after I turn 26 next year. (My therapist only takes Blue Cross Blue Shield.) Thanks for suggesting it. I actually wouldn't have thought to check my state's job listings if you hadn't suggested it. And I think I figured out why I'm not finding much on Indeed: I think I might have it set to not show me anything that pays less than $15/hour. I guess I need to figure out how to not take 45 minutes to wash and condition my hair so I can rent a room and not get yelled at for taking too long in the shower, since I really do need to get out of this house (my dad gets mad at me for expressing negative emotions or talking about things I'm interested in even though I listen to him rant about grocery prices and talk about things I don't care about all the time without complaining and I even pretend that I actually do care about what he's talking about but he isn't willing to pay me the same courtesy for some reason, though I've never actually told him I feel this way because I don't think he'd listen and he's literally told me that my feelings aren't valid and he can't even accept that his very poor parenting when I was growing up did, in fact, traumatize me) and it's unlikely that I'm gonna be able to afford an apartment...

_checks the context of the other times you said you got Ophelia vibes from me_ ...How did you get that vibe when I asked if I needed to tell my therapist that I had cut myself for the first time in four years and I didn't even know why??? (For anyone wondering why I would think that I WOULDN'T need to tell her, my therapist was already aware that I hurt myself in other ways.) That's why I assumed that you were calling me self-destructive. (I had forgotten about the first time you compared me to Ophelia.) 


bifurcations said:


> If you have the diagnosis of a serious mental illness like bipolar disorder and maybe have some hospitalizations, then you can apply for disability income in the United States. Have you talked to your community mental health center or case manager about that?


My last hospitalization was almost 10 years ago, when I was 15 and MUCH more messed up than I am now, and I don't have bipolar disorder. That was a misdiagnosis. My therapist says I have C-PTSD. (I state it that way because I'm still not 100% sure and I think maybe I'm not messed up enough for that to really be what's wrong with me and I don't want to offend anyone by saying I definitely have it if I actually don't.) I really don't think I'm disabled enough to qualify for disability. I've only been unemployed for two months. Before that, I was employed for over two years other than just a few weeks between jobs. There is no evidence that I am so disabled that I need to be on disability.


secondpassing said:


> I don't know about Amazon, but FedEx abolished their quota counts because they want workers to work safely. Their workforce is very diverse. You won't be fired for slowness or for being unable to lift a lot of weight.
> 
> I specifically listed mail carrier assistant instead of mail carrier because the assistant is the one that sits next to the driver. They get paid less than the driver, but for the company, sending people out in twos probably increases worker retention.
> 
> ...


Amazon has quotas. Still skeptical about FedEx being okay with me being slow and weak.

I think you might be confused... I have never seen two people in a mail truck, and I'm seeing absolutely nothing to indicate that mail carrier "assistants" AREN'T the ones driving the truck. In fact, I'm reading that they work independently. Also, they often work 60+ hours a week. That's a big no. I am absolutely NOT willing to do that.

I've heard they don't properly clean the steam wands at Starbucks, and I've been in a dirty Chipotle before.

I still don't meet the requirements for a ramp agent. Ramp agents need to be able to lift luggage. I often won't be able to.

I don't even get interviews for jobs I AM qualified for...


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I really wish you would take me up on my suggestion to apply for employment services with your local social services.

You told me before you are not ‘one of those people’ .

I still stand by if you listed all this stuff you are telling us to a social worker they would recommend you for these services. These services are not just for ‘those people’. These services are available to all people who meet specific qualifications and can use the extra step forward.

I am unsure why you seem so against having a professional assist you with attaining job goals, skills etc or lump it into a negative. Yet keep giving all these reasons you are struggling.

There is no shame in struggling. And hey there is no shame in doing it by yourself when you can make it work. But this sorta have alotta reasons everything doesn’t work, yet seem to deny AVAILABLE services you would very likely qualify for based on everything you have told us.

Granted I understand shitty stigmas ingrained in us from society. I myself had to seek workforce service help years ago as a single mom. Cannot say it was a life high. But I appreciated some of those resources and tools available. I utilized them and listened to the people coaching.

There were many many kinds of people btw in that workforce group ranging from ex convicts on parole, to vets, to people on disability for various reasons, to single parents, to homeless teens. Do you HEAR some of those people and their struggles I just mentioned in all that? But they were there and they were trying for whatever reason was their reason. Whether is was recommended, mandated, apart of a program whatever.

I recognize you did Job Corps. Good. That has nothing to do with your current situation. You are struggling to find employment that is suitable now. I would assume you need to support yourself. And because ya seem to set yourself apart from those people Id assume you must not be on disability or social security, which either means you are capable of working, or require services from self neglect

There are many many people out there who are homeless who struggle to get these services because of no permanent address and hardship with contact and stability of communication. I hope you decide to either consider looking into you maybe could use the extra guidance and assistance.

I think many people have tried to be very kind, empathetic, and helpful toward this. I think many people are trying to truly be compassionate and kind.

I am sure a workforce center program, of employment services program could hep you navigate your strength areas and help guide this. They can assess your qualifications, skills needed, and help you locate suitable positions.


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

shameless said:


> I really wish you would take me up on my suggestion to apply for employment services with your local social services.
> 
> You told me before you are not ‘one of those people’ .
> 
> ...


I thought you were referring to the program that's specifically for people with severe mental illness...


Rihanna said:


> I have some ideas for you. PM me your city and if I can find something appropriate I'll let you know.
> 
> Also, are you creative? What do you enjoy?


I live in the Kansas City area. I've stated this on Reddit before under this username, so I see no harm in saying it here as well. No, I'm not especially creative... (Yes, I know that's really weird for an INFP.) What DO I enjoy? I know what I enjoyed at one time, but I never do those things anymore, and most of the things I do now don't actually bring me much joy. I suppose recently, I've felt happiest while interacting with other people, but if I spend much time around someone, everything usually falls apart after a while. I always mess up everything in the end. I like to knit (or do other crafts)... But I don't enjoy it enough to keep doing it. I like to sing... But I barely even do that anymore. I used to love reading, but I hardly ever read now. I like video games, but I just play for a couple days and then I don't feel like playing again for weeks or even months. I guess the only things I consistently do are play a couple of mobile games, do logic puzzles, read Reddit and Bored Panda, and watch TV. I guess I enjoy the mobile games to some extent, and some of the articles on Bored Panda are funny and I get some enjoyment from scrolling through Reddit, but that's not useful. I wouldn't really say I actually enjoy the logic puzzles. I just do them while I space out while thinking, or while I watch TV, though it is somewhat satisfying when I solve them, I guess. Obviously, enjoying watching TV is completely useless. I like to cook... But cooking professionally isn't the same as cooking at home, and I'd probably be too slow anyway. Sorry this response is so useless. Maybe it would be easier to answer if I was in a good mood, but I'm just feeling kinda blah right now, I guess. (I'm also tired. I should really go to bed.)


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

melody5697 said:


> I thought you were referring to the program that's specifically for people with severe mental illness...


which is almost anyone on the planet nowadays


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

shameless said:


> which is almost anyone on the planet nowadays


No, it is not, and saying that minimizes the struggles of people who actually have what is considered severe mental illness. The severity of mental illnesses varies. And most people aren't mentally ill at all.


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

Anyway, it is clear now that you weren't talking about what I thought you were talking about. I initially rejected the idea because I thought that you were talking about a specific program for people who have severe mental health issues, but now I see that you were not, in fact, talking about that program.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

melody5697 said:


> No, it is not, and saying that minimizes the struggles of people who actually have what is considered severe mental illness. The severity of mental illnesses varies. And most people aren't mentally ill at all.


Mental health ranges we both agree on that.

And saying what I said, minimizes it in YOUR opinion. I am of different opinion on that. I do not look at it the same clearly.

You seem to have misguided opinion of the programs and ‘those’ people and needs. I assure ya programs and needs vary and are case by case.

I hope you look into programming guess we can just avoid semantics on opinions of qualifiers and people for programming and what is valid, and what undermines others


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

shameless said:


> Mental health ranges we both agree on that.
> 
> And saying what I said, minimizes it in YOUR opinion. I am of different opinion on that. I do not look at it the same clearly.
> 
> ...


No, I thought that you were talking about a very specific program that I do not qualify for because you (apparently inadvertently) named that program in the message you sent me a while back...


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

melody5697 said:


> No, I thought that you were talking about a very specific program that I do not qualify for because you (apparently inadvertently) named that program in the message you sent me a while back...


I sincerely mean this. I hope you are able to find something that works with your needs. It is hard to find, so I definitely wish ya the best with it. I do not think any of us has a one size fits all answer and some things are up for interpretation. But I sincerely hope something works for you. What that is no one of knows exact. All we can do is try to offer suggestions


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

Ms. Aligned said:


> Yeah, I still think a government job would support your needs and pace.
> 
> The Ophelia vibe is from the character Ophelia. But not because she was mad or anything. Every time I pictured her character it was with like a dreamy, kind of disconnected, floating through life, no urgency but longing, kind of distracted vibe. Very ethereal....floaty...


So basically an INFP? Kekw


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

melody5697 said:


> I thought you were referring to the program that's specifically for people with severe mental illness...
> 
> I live in the Kansas City area. I've stated this on Reddit before under this username, so I see no harm in saying it here as well. No, I'm not especially creative... (Yes, I know that's really weird for an INFP.) What DO I enjoy? I know what I enjoyed at one time, but I never do those things anymore, and most of the things I do now don't actually bring me much joy. I suppose recently, I've felt happiest while interacting with other people, but if I spend much time around someone, everything usually falls apart after a while. I always mess up everything in the end. I like to knit (or do other crafts)... But I don't enjoy it enough to keep doing it. I like to sing... But I barely even do that anymore. I used to love reading, but I hardly ever read now. I like video games, but I just play for a couple days and then I don't feel like playing again for weeks or even months. I guess the only things I consistently do are play a couple of mobile games, do logic puzzles, read Reddit and Bored Panda, and watch TV. I guess I enjoy the mobile games to some extent, and some of the articles on Bored Panda are funny and I get some enjoyment from scrolling through Reddit, but that's not useful. I wouldn't really say I actually enjoy the logic puzzles. I just do them while I space out while thinking, or while I watch TV, though it is somewhat satisfying when I solve them, I guess. Obviously, enjoying watching TV is completely useless. I like to cook... But cooking professionally isn't the same as cooking at home, and I'd probably be too slow anyway. Sorry this response is so useless. Maybe it would be easier to answer if I was in a good mood, but I'm just feeling kinda blah right now, I guess. (I'm also tired. I should really go to bed.)


 The job that fits your description above is basically being a house wife. It’s the only profession where u don’t need to be a pro at anything, u can do abit of everything, u like cooking but not professionally, crafts but every now and again, video games, tv every now and again, logic puzzles when u feel like it etc… show up late, be on ur own time, yeah housewife sounds like the ideal.


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

melody5697 said:


> I think I will apply for government jobs, if for no other reason than because I'll definitely have access to the insurance I need after I turn 26 next year. (My therapist only takes Blue Cross Blue Shield.) Thanks for suggesting it. I actually wouldn't have thought to check my state's job listings if you hadn't suggested it. And I think I figured out why I'm not finding much on Indeed: I think I might have it set to not show me anything that pays less than $15/hour. I guess I need to figure out how to not take 45 minutes to wash and condition my hair so I can rent a room and not get yelled at for taking too long in the shower, since I really do need to get out of this house (my dad gets mad at me for expressing negative emotions or talking about things I'm interested in even though I listen to him rant about grocery prices and talk about things I don't care about all the time without complaining and I even pretend that I actually do care about what he's talking about but he isn't willing to pay me the same courtesy for some reason, though I've never actually told him I feel this way because I don't think he'd listen and he's literally told me that my feelings aren't valid and he can't even accept that his very poor parenting when I was growing up did, in fact, traumatize me) and it's unlikely that I'm gonna be able to afford an apartment...
> 
> _checks the context of the other times you said you got Ophelia vibes from me_ ...How did you get that vibe when I asked if I needed to tell my therapist that I had cut myself for the first time in four years and I didn't even know why??? (For anyone wondering why I would think that I WOULDN'T need to tell her, my therapist was already aware that I hurt myself in other ways.) That's why I assumed that you were calling me self-destructive. (I had forgotten about the first time you compared me to Ophelia.)


Yeah, I didn't even think about you turning 26 and losing your insurance next year. That's even more reason to seek out government employment. They're notorious for good health benefits. And it will impress your father because you're thinking ahead. 

Like I said, those jobs range from everything from office assistant, or mail clerk, to CEOs or whatever, so there is a position for every skill level. Once you're in you can work your way up, and they have a lot of employee resources that can help you maintain your employment even if you're struggling with health issues (like FMLA).

That's great to hear that you like the suggestion. I wouldn't stop at state, check out county or city positions too. It really was a good fit for my sister, she was there for years. Best of luck!

Edit: Also the Ophelia thing wasn't because of any one thing you said, it was just the general vibe I was picking up on from reading through your posts collectively.


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

ENTJudgement said:


> dw, I used 2 have same strategy until I realized I was born wrong gender and had 2 adapt.


Same.


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

OrchidSugar said:


> Same.


Wut, u were born the correct gender!


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

ENTJudgement said:


> Wut, u were born the correct gender!


I was trying to make a gender-bender joke. But still, so far the only dudes wanting to really take care of a young lady like myself are the 65 year old ESTPs in the neighborhood. 

But then again...they are offering to split their fixed income from day one. So maybe they will wear me down eventually.


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

OrchidSugar said:


> I was trying to make a gender-bender joke. But still, so far the only dudes wanting to really take care of a young lady like myself are the 65 year old ESTPs in the neighborhood.
> 
> But then again...they are offering to split their fixed income from day one. So maybe they will wear me down eventually.


Is that coz you don't put urself out there so noone knows you exist?


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## ImpossibleHunt (May 30, 2020)

Hey @melody5697, I think you might be able to solve a couple of things at once. As for jobs, it is true that you might lack certain job qualifications for the more specialized positions. But is there any way that you can start to develop said job qualifications over time? Most of the immediate jobs are going to be primarily focused on retail environments of course, so besides handing out resumes to grocery stores and retail positions, there's not a lot of advice I can give. But just think of it as a stepping stone to a career that would fit you better.

As for a long-term career option (that takes less education than other career paths); have you considered work in insurance? It pays relatively well from what I can understand, and I think you just have to pass a certain examination before you're qualified. It is not a physically intensive job, and there is a lot of paperwork and typing involved, and you can choose which insurance fields you'll fit better in. You might have to deal with difficult customers, but that's always a skill you can master over time. Could be a potentially good goal in the meantime? Then from there, you can do more education on the side to maybe getting that counselling job that you're after, and you get experience at the same time?


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

ENTJudgement said:


> Is that coz you don't put urself out there so noone knows you exist?


What do you mean out there?


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

OrchidSugar said:


> What do you mean out there?


Like going out and meeting people. If noone saw you or interacted with you, they can't ask u out right.


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

ENTJudgement said:


> Like going out and meeting people. If noone saw you or interacted with you, they can't ask u out right.


...


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

OrchidSugar said:


> ...


Gonna predict that she sarcastically says something back coz she thinks I think shes stupid coz shes obviously considered that before u moron!


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

ENTJudgement said:


> Gonna predict that she sarcastically says something back coz she thinks I think shes stupid coz shes obviously considered that before u moron!


No. I'm just allergic to telling ENTJs when they are right about something. Makes me physically ill.


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

OrchidSugar said:


> No. I'm just allergic to telling ENTJs when they are right about something. Makes me physically ill.


I was right muahahahahhahahahhahahaha take that, Fi dom! j/k


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

ENTJudgement said:


> I was right muahahahahhahahahhahahaha take that, Fi dom! j/k


Currently in hermit mode. When I come back out I will create a plan of attack for seducing the menz.


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

OrchidSugar said:


> Currently in hermit mode. When I come back out I will create a plan of attack for seducing the menz.


2ez.


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

ImpossibleHunt said:


> Hey @melody5697, I think you might be able to solve a couple of things at once. As for jobs, it is true that you might lack certain job qualifications for the more specialized positions. But is there any way that you can start to develop said job qualifications over time? Most of the immediate jobs are going to be primarily focused on retail environments of course, so besides handing out resumes to grocery stores and retail positions, there's not a lot of advice I can give. But just think of it as a stepping stone to a career that would fit you better.
> 
> As for a long-term career option (that takes less education than other career paths); have you considered work in insurance? It pays relatively well from what I can understand, and I think you just have to pass a certain examination before you're qualified. It is not a physically intensive job, and there is a lot of paperwork and typing involved, and you can choose which insurance fields you'll fit better in. You might have to deal with difficult customers, but that's always a skill you can master over time. Could be a potentially good goal in the meantime? Then from there, you can do more education on the side to maybe getting that counselling job that you're after, and you get experience at the same time?


It isn't that I'm not qualified for anything other than retail. I have over two years of experience working in an office environment and a year of customer service experience. There are plenty of jobs that I technically meet the requirements for. The problem is that I have issues that would prevent me from being successful in most of these positions.


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

OrchidSugar said:


> @melody5697 I almost forgot. The library. I liked working there when I was younger. It's quiet. You can be a bit of a perfectionist. Hell it's pretty much required so you can reshelf the books exactly where they belong. They will usually hire part-timers.


I need a full-time job.


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

melody5697 said:


> I need a full-time job.


Any way you could walk before you run? It's easier to find two part time jobs sometimes than it is to find one good full time one. But just saying, for the healthcare bit, you would be able to use free/low-cost government services for mental health. And there are charities that offer medical services/physician care on a sliding scale based on income. It just sounds like you need to stabilize before you can fulfill your dream of moving out. 

Also, would you work as a dishwasher in a restaurant? You could just put on headphones and do your thing. You organize the glasses in the machine and there's something a little relaxing about that. If you get a restaurant that's family owned, it would be better than corporate franchises in terms of needing to rush.


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

OrchidSugar said:


> Any way you could walk before you run? It's easier to find two part time jobs sometimes than it is to find one good full time one. But just saying, for the healthcare bit, you would be able to use free/low-cost government services for mental health. And there are charities that offer medical services/physician care on a sliding scale based on income. It just sounds like you need to stabilize before you can fulfill your dream of moving out.
> 
> Also, would you work as a dishwasher in a restaurant? You could just put on headphones and do your thing. You organize the glasses in the machine and there's something a little relaxing about that. If you get a restaurant that's family owned, it would be better than corporate franchises in terms of needing to rush.


I have had full-time employment most of the time for the past four years. I've also made at least $12/hour at every job I've had in the last four years (and my last job paid $18/hour). Things are not so bad that I need to be working part-time jobs that likely pay less than $10/hour (or at least that's what library pages were making last time I checked). I am already seeing a therapist. I am not gonna stop seeing her and go on a waiting list to see a therapist who might not even be any good. (Edit: I just found out that the part-time library associates make $15.83/hour. I guess this would be okay as a temporary solution, but I NEED health benefits by May, and the best way to make sure I have them is to find a full-time permanent position.)

Food service environments are out of the question. Health code violations in restaurants are rampant, from what I've heard, and seeing them all the time will make me miserable like when I was working in the bakery and deli at Walmart.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

If you go to a social worker and ask them if you qualify for a mental health assessment you may qualify for disability which could help you with qualifying for medical assistance, as well as employment services. Which could cure many of your concerns all in one as far as therapy and continued mental health services, as well as assisting with helping find you the right position. 

If you have cpstd and it is hindering you from your daily living. Like making job interview, and struggling to turn in stuff you likely would qualify to at least get an assessment. which I strongly encourage.


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

shameless said:


> If you go to a social worker and ask them if you qualify for a mental health assessment you may qualify for disability which could help you with qualifying for medical assistance, as well as employment services. Which could cure many of your concerns all in one as far as therapy and continued mental health services, as well as assisting with helping find you the right position.
> 
> If you have cpstd and it is hindering you from your daily living. Like making job interview, and struggling to turn in stuff you likely would qualify to at least get an assessment. which I strongly encourage.


Uh... I don't want to risk getting myself hospitalized against my will. They're not supposed to do that to adults unless they're at immediate risk of killing themselves, but what if some idiot decides that the occasional "I wish I was dead" means I need to be hospitalized???

Also, I honestly still do doubt my diagnosis, and I'm not sure if it's really what's keeping me from finding a job or if I'm just lazy and useless. I mean, I do feel okay most of the time, I think. It's not like I'm having obvious emotional flashbacks every day or something. Although... What am I even doing all day??? I've been awake for 20 hours, but what I've done today shouldn't take 20 hours. I played some Good Pizza, Great Pizza (I didn't finish the daily quests) while chatting with a friend on Discord, read a few articles about girls with extreme facial deformities (like, one girl I read about was born without lips or a chin), did a few nonograms, made and ate a tuna salad sandwich, listened to my dad talk for a few minutes here and there, washed the bidet rags, washed my body, got dressed, did the dishes, bought sparkling grape juice and Mexican Coke from the Dollar General five minutes from my house, ate tacos, responded to posts here, worked on answering a bunch of questions that someone on Reddit asked me because he offered to type me, made a single brief comment on a post in r/Judaism... How did all that take 20 hours??? I'm not aware of any missing time or anything, but now that I'm actually thinking about what I do in a day, it really doesn't make much sense... But I'm probably just overthinking.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

melody5697 said:


> Uh... I don't want to risk getting myself hospitalized against my will. They're not supposed to do that to adults unless they're at immediate risk of killing themselves, but what if some idiot decides that the occasional "I wish I was dead" means I need to be hospitalized???
> 
> Also, I honestly still do doubt my diagnosis, and I'm not sure if it's really what's keeping me from finding a job or if I'm just lazy and useless. I mean, I do feel okay most of the time, I think. It's not like I'm having obvious emotional flashbacks every day or something. Although... What am I even doing all day??? I've been awake for 20 hours, but what I've done today shouldn't take 20 hours. I played some Good Pizza, Great Pizza (I didn't finish the daily quests) while chatting with a friend on Discord, read a few articles about girls with extreme facial deformities (like, one girl I read about was born without lips or a chin), did a few nonograms, made and ate a tuna salad sandwich, listened to my dad talk for a few minutes here and there, washed the bidet rags, washed my body, got dressed, did the dishes, bought sparkling grape juice and Mexican Coke from the Dollar General five minutes from my house, ate tacos, responded to posts here, worked on answering a bunch of questions that someone on Reddit asked me because he offered to type me, made a single brief comment on a post in r/Judaism...
> 
> How did all that take 20 hours??? I'm not aware of any missing time or anything, but now that I'm actually thinking about what I do in a day, it really doesn't make much sense... But I'm probably just overthinking.


Wishing you were dead and having suicidal ideation is different than actively in the moment telling a professional you want to harm yourself or someone else that second.

I do NOT think it is because you are lazy and useless. You articulate yourself well and I can tell are capable of some basic function. But your first sentence on stating you do not want someone to confuse your suicidal ideation (just how they categorize it) anyways indicates severe depression. I do not have to be a psychologist to come to that conclusion. I have zero agenda on diagnosing on specifics outside of that. As I am not a psychologist. But I can absolutely say you would at the least qualify for a diagnostics assessment based on how likely you would score for depression. You are berating yourself, and stated suicidal ideation (again the idea or desire to die). Not the same as actively telling a professional you want to kill yourself at that moment, or harm another person.

Most states have protocols if someone is saying they actively want to commit suicide in the moment to place them in a mental health unit for 24-72 hours as a protocol. I would guess you must have told someone in the moment you actively wanted to do it at that moment. Or indicated severe risk to yourself at the moment. Or made an attempt.

The anxiety you are describing connected to your behavior and actions, or inaction though seems like it probably could be connected to something undiagnosed, or not properly treated. The reason to speak to a social worker about your current struggles with depression, ptsd, and anxiety with work, and insurance is because they will simply defer the process to more extensive evaluation. A diagnostics assessment could get you diagnosed properly.

I know you are scared to be placed in a psych ward. But I think if you are proactive you could end up with a good care plan and care team. Not the opposite. A social worker generally does not go out of their way to commit people, or get them hospitalized not usually where they place most of their energy. They can get you an assessment to get proper evals with psych to get the assessment to determine what services you are eligible for. Which I believe with everything you have expressed and told us you would likely qualify for services. And possibly disability even. But at the very least MA, and probably employment services help.

Also outside if you tell a mandated reporter you actively want to kill yourself in the moment (rather than explain to them sometimes you have suicidal ideation but not at that moment), you I assume are your own guardian. So if you do not actively go say you want to kill yourself that moment to a mandated reporter they cannot just institutionalize you longterm. The loop whole is if someone tells a mandated reporter they want to actively do that in that exact moment and get hospitalized and then psych deems someone temporary unfit. But just day to day if you just explained it larger picture and are your own guardian and not a threat in the exact moment they will recommend services and programs to help. Not to commit you. It costs the state a lot of money they as in the system benefits more from getting you service plans that cost less money. So it is not like they will want to from a cost stand point institutionalize you. If you are your own guardian they cannot just lock ya up forever. Even if a mental hold gets placed.

I understand you are weary and do not trust the system. That was why I was specific on wording choices.




melody5697 said:


> There are plenty of jobs that I technically meet the requirements for. The problem is that I have issues that would prevent me from being successful in most of these positions.


Again which is it? You are fine and do not need any help. Or you have all these concerns and issues and would qualify for the help


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