# Name 3 traits you DON'T want in a partner



## cinnabun (Apr 11, 2011)

1. Controlling.
2. Distrustful. 
3. Low self-esteem.


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## Ace Face (Nov 13, 2011)

I find that it's better to put energy into thinking about what you DO want in a partner. I swear that it's a pattern... when people think about what they don't want, they end up finding exactly what they don't want. My suggestion: focus on what it is that you DO want, and you're more likely to find what you DO want. But what do I know... I've only ever gotten pretty much everything I've ever wanted and more.


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## ai.tran.75 (Feb 26, 2014)

1. Jealousy 
2. Neediness 
3. Manipulative 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## peter pettishrooms (Apr 20, 2015)

1. Selfish
2. Liar 
3. Orange


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## SuperDevastation (Jun 7, 2010)

kittenklyn said:


> I don't know about prejudice; veganism is extremely important to me- its one if the most important things in my life. If I can't share that with someone else, it would would really suck, you feel me??
> 
> The important personal factor aside, it tells me a lot about them as an individual. They care about things that are "below them," they care about their health, the environment, and the well being of living creatures. I find those three qualities to be incredibly admirable and attractive as they are all connected to Compassion, which is one of the most beautiful qualities a human can have (in my opinion).
> 
> *edit* its the same reason why I would never seriously date a racist or a sexist. I simply wouldn't be able to seriously date a speciesist.*


I don't see why a spouse would have to eat the same things you do to be considered worthy of marrying. Also veganism is about elitism, not compassion.


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

needy
clingy
white

edit- i just described my towels :laughing:


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## karmachameleon (Nov 1, 2015)

Overemotional
Liar
Detached


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## kittenklyn (Nov 2, 2015)

SuperDevastation said:


> I don't see why a spouse would have to eat the same things you do to be considered worthy of marrying. Also veganism is about elitism, not compassion.


It's not as simple as "eating the same things." I need my partner to be the kind of person that thinks torturing a living and feeling being is not acceptable; It is absolutely vital that my spouse be against the cruel exploitation of animals. If you are confused by the importance of this in my life, you could watch a documentary called "earthlings." It's free on YouTube. 

If I may ask you a question: Would you be okay dating someone that actively supported slavery? Or someone who owned slaves that lived miserably?


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## Muskaan (Jan 27, 2016)

Immaturity, ugly thoughts and lack of confidence.


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## piano (May 21, 2015)

boring, follower, thoughtless


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

Muskaan said:


> Immaturity, ugly thoughts and lack of confidence.


ugly thoughts?


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## AddictiveMuse (Nov 14, 2013)

Vinniebob said:


> ugly thoughts?


My thoughts look like Donald Trump was run over by a garbage truck and his face had frozen as he smelt the rotting garbage.


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

AddictiveMuse said:


> My thoughts look like Donald Trump was run over by a garbage truck and his face had frozen as he smelt the rotting garbage.


if only you could transform your thoughts into reality:shocked:


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## kittenklyn (Nov 2, 2015)

I really don't like it when my partner wakes up and they are very grumpy. This leads to them being rude, or just unattractive. I am a very happy person because I'm extremely thankful for what i have, and I love life. So when I wake up, I'm happy to be there. I just feel rejected when I wake up feeling good, and my partner wakes up angry. It's a big, big turn off for me. 

Being a sore loser. I dislike when my partner whines or throws a fit just because they lost in some sort of competitive format. 

Unapologetic. They need to know how to say, "I'm sorry," when they do something wrong.


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## AddictiveMuse (Nov 14, 2013)

Vinniebob said:


> if only you could transform your thoughts into reality:shocked:


I'm working on it


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## Muskaan (Jan 27, 2016)

Vinniebob said:


> ugly thoughts?


Ugly thoughts: desire to harm others, or intentionally hurt someone. It's about general ugliness of us, humans.


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## Bearlin (Feb 14, 2013)

*lies
superfluous chatter
hysterical woman's screamin
*


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## Flaming Bassoon (Feb 15, 2013)

Berlin said:


> *
> hysterical woman's screamin
> *


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## backdrop12 (Dec 11, 2012)

For me , My list is going to be completely different ( I think ) XD:

1 - Someone who is not outgoing: Basically I like a person who I would want to do every little thing with , See new things , new cultures , etc based on the childhood I had ( closed off ) . Someone who is afraid of whats already there or of the unknown is scared of himself and what may transpire in the future.

2- Zealous Religious : People who eat sleep breath etc is pretty much self explanatory . I want someone who is accepting of everything and not closed minded based upon religion .I have seen it with my grandparents and uncle on my mom side and they are the loneliness people I know. 

3- not wanting to know someone on a deeper level : This is pretty self explanatory . If you don't want me , don't be with me XD. Kinda like my brothers and dad who really don't want me around me nor do they want to know me. Whenever I say a simple hello , they tell me to shut up or I aint worth a paper bag. Be there , love , respect , admire , be thankful for being you, and loving it without interruption till the very end.


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## peter pettishrooms (Apr 20, 2015)

Also add "manipulator" to my list even if that makes four.


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## Wild (Jul 14, 2014)

1) *Selfishness in bed*, especially if they tried to make it seem like they were good in bed originally. Annoys the hell out of me, huge turn-off, and honestly I just can't be with someone who's selfish - I'm so protective of myself that I won't open up to someone like that, sexually or otherwise.

2) *Someone who's judgmental*. I generally think judgmental people are unwise in that way, but I'm certainly never going to open up to someone like that. The moment I meet anyone at all, I'm always gauging how judgmental they are, how much I can be myself with them. If someone judges me or other people before they know what's going on, I'm out.

3) *Someone who doesn't care about my feelings*, or pretends not to. Only been with one person like this, but it was torture. They would do things like offer to buy me jewelry, and then "take it back" when I was confused about the purpose behind it. Then they'd tell me it was my fault for not just being like "OMG yes, plzplzplz buy it for me" when they offered. When I was upset over things like that, they'd just let me be upset and ignore me. Back then I thought I loved them, but now I kinda just wish I could smack the shit out of them for manipulating me.


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## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

Wild said:


> 1) *Selfishness in bed*, especially if they tried to make it seem like they were good in bed originally. Annoys the hell out of me, huge turn-off, and honestly I just can't be with someone who's selfish - I'm so protective of myself that I won't open up to someone like that, sexually or otherwise.


YES. Just yes. I've also learned that there is a *huge *difference between being 'experienced' - and actually _knowing _what makes sex mind blowing for _both _partners. Being attuned to them, interested in knowing what they want and like, and willing to experiment and try new things is so much more important and what sex is about. Otherwise, you're just getting yourself off using another person's body.


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## hailfire (Dec 16, 2012)

Ugh, just 3? My list is much longer, and thinking about it, I think these are the biggest dealbreakers for me:

1) People who are insecure/have low self-esteem/have low self-confidence - people who can so easily be identified by these traits are a complete drain to be around. The accompanying behaviors can also be a real pain in the ass. I don't have the time or energy to deal with people like this all the time.

2) People who are too sedentary, overweight/obese, or are vegetarian/vegan (or on any super restrictive diet). A partner who either would refuse to join in or could potentially ruin any activity that requires some moving at a not entirely slow pace because they need a break every few minutes? Nope. I can probably look past a bit of extra weight, but there's easily a point for me when physical attraction starts disappearing. Vegetarian/veganism/gluten-free (esp. by choice) is a no-no for me because I don't see myself going through the effort of planning or making meals for these kinds of diets, and I sure as hell won't eat them.

3) People who are devoid of spontaneity, like too much routine, and like doing hardly anything else for entertainment than the same few activities all the damn time. I'm not asking for something different every day, all the time. But if it's like pulling teeth trying to get you do do something other than the same two things when hanging out every now and then, or worse... It's like pulling teeth to get you to try a different activity and when you finally decide to try something new, you bitch and whine most, if not the entire time - we will have a problem.

Cluster of honorable mentions, cause I just can't help it and idc XD:

Passive-aggression, whiners, can't keep emotions in check, emotional manipulators, racists/sexists, overzealous religious, overzealous atheists, hyper-conservatives, hyper-liberals, perpetual victims, control freaks, spoiled, people who constantly contradict themselves (especially morally), those who quickly jump to conclusions, people who erroneously act like they and others are mind readers, super judgemental people, hyper-pessimists, people who make endless excuses, flakes, people who talk>do, authoritarians, too submissive, takes offense too easily, takes things too personally.


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## Sovereign (Aug 19, 2011)

1. Stupid. Like, unintelligent. Has no desire for deep discussions. Would rather do vapid activities like pop concerts or movies than talk and enjoy each other's company in a deep, meaningful, enlightening way. Shallow. No way to channel intuition. All this is related, I think.

2. People who can't handle criticism. I am a highly logical person. If you say something dumb, you will know it. I expect the same effort to better my own understanding that I invest in you, else I think you don't care. Be able to dish back. Have an opinion. Hold me to account. Don't be a boring intellectual lazy-ass. And for gosh sakes, don't be a sheep! If you even have to think about the red/blue pill choice, GTFO NOW. With extreme prejudice. Feel sick just from thinking about these people.

3. Doesn't have my best interests in mind. Self explanatory. I am generally quite loyal. I will not tolerate disloyalty.


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## Zster (Mar 7, 2011)

I came up with two right away. For a third, there are lots of lesser ones to choose from...

1. *Hateful / mean - *includes abusive, bigoted, judgmental, sexist, superiority complex etc
2. *Insecure - *includes jealous, controlling, fearful

3. ??? Probably being a black and white thinking, hyper-organized, structure requiring, rules loving type. I could easily drive such a person senseless inside of a week. Go with the flow, let's see where the wind takes us!


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## nestle_bird (Dec 24, 2015)

1. victimism
I wouldn't stand someone who is negative all the time and always perceives everything they're told as a threat/insult.

2. indirectness
I don't like playing guessing games with people's minds, so I'd like them to openly tell me what's on their mind.

3. clinginess
Because it makes me feel anxious and controlled.


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## SuperDevastation (Jun 7, 2010)

kittenklyn said:


> It's not as simple as "eating the same things." I need my partner to be the kind of person that thinks torturing a living and feeling being is not acceptable; It is absolutely vital that my spouse be against the cruel exploitation of animals. If you are confused by the importance of this in my life, you could watch a documentary called "earthlings." It's free on YouTube.
> 
> If I may ask you a question: Would you be okay dating someone that actively supported slavery? Or someone who owned slaves that lived miserably?


This isn't about slavery nor is eating meat comparable to slavery, try again. Also are you against human rights violations?


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## Glenda Gnome Starr (May 12, 2011)

arrogant
blaming others for his faults
humorless


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## kittenklyn (Nov 2, 2015)

SuperDevastation said:


> This isn't about slavery nor is eating meat comparable to slavery, try again. Also are you against human rights violations?


I didn't say that human slavery and the torturous treatment of animals was the same; I asked if you would be okay dating someone that actively supported human slavery. I hope you're not okay with that. And if you didn't want to dates slave driver, I wouldn't call you prejudice. It would simply be you not involving yourself with someone who has committed a moral crime, in your opinion. It's the same as me- I can't date a meat eater because they cross a moral boundary; they endorse the torture if animals, and that is simply unacceptable.

And yes, I am a humanitarian. I do a lot of volunteer work for aiding human trafficking survivors, raising awareness for north Korea, and give speeches on the exploitation of children in the chocolate industry. I've met with several prominent figures over the world, such as the South Korean ambassador, and a government official in Egypt to counter the trafficking of prostitutes. Why do you ask?


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## Hypaspist (Feb 11, 2012)

1) Being religious.
2) Being off-put by porn/sex.
3) Being easily dominated.

I actually have a nice long rotating list, but this is what's up front at the moment.


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## SuperDevastation (Jun 7, 2010)

kittenklyn said:


> I didn't say that human slavery and the torturous treatment of animals was the same; I asked if you would be okay dating someone that actively supported human slavery. I hope you're not okay with that. And if you didn't want to dates slave driver, I wouldn't call you prejudice. It would simply be you not involving yourself with someone who has committed a moral crime, in your opinion. It's the same as me- I can't date a meat eater because they cross a moral boundary; they endorse the torture if animals, and that is simply unacceptable.
> 
> And yes, I am a humanitarian. I do a lot of volunteer work for aiding human trafficking survivors, raising awareness for north Korea, and give speeches on the exploitation of children in the chocolate industry. I've met with several prominent figures over the world, such as the South Korean ambassador, and a government official in Egypt to counter the trafficking of prostitutes. Why do you ask?


Don't make negative assumptions about me just because I'm put off by vegans for caring more about animals and plants (so they say) than humans. And there are child prostitution rings so I don't see how or why the chocolate industry is so bad (not saying it's innocent/pure). And anyone who supports human slavery deserves the death penalty or life imprisonment. And no more asking me dumb questions.


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## kittenklyn (Nov 2, 2015)

SuperDevastation said:


> Don't make negative assumptions about me just because I'm put off by vegans for caring more about animals and plants (so they say) than humans. And there are child prostitution rings so I don't see how or why the chocolate industry is so bad (not saying it's innocent/pure). And anyone who supports human slavery deserves the death penalty or life imprisonment. And no more asking me dumb questions.


I neither asked you a dumb question nor did I make any negative assumptions about you. Nor do I believe that if one is vegan then they do not care about humans (I am a prime example, as I do a lot of humanitarian work); though you may find someone who both loves animals and hates humans, for sure, but one does not constitute the other, not even often. 

I am simply refuting your claim to vegans being prejudice. Or your claim that I am prejudice because I would not date a meat-eater, based on my personal moral convictions. Do I think that its fucked up that some humans think torturing animals is okay? Absolutely. And I could never date them. Is there evidence that shows vegans are healthier than people who eat animal products? You bet there is. But prejudice is based on thin air; that is, that one is better simply because they are. It's not prejudiced to say that people who skin animals alive, or those who purchase from them, are morally lacking- its just the truth. This is the same as saying that someone who enslaves a young girl and rapes her is morally lacking- it just is. 

I'm not taking away the importance of other issues at hand, I'm simply looking for someone that cares about causing unnecessary pain to others. You can work towards ending child abuse in the chocolate industry just as much as you can work towards the end of human trafficking, pedophile rings, rape, and animal cruelty. You've been using red herrings and straw man arguments, and even attempted ad hominem (until you realized that I do humanitarian work as well, [perhaps even more than you?]). 

I simply believe that you mistakingly labeled me prejudice. And that you also assumed incorrect information about me. You can't date a vegan because you think its not okay for your partner to confront you about endorsing the misery and agony of feeling creatures. It's fine if you can't date someone like that. Just as its fine that I can't date someone like you. Do you understand?


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## kittenklyn (Nov 2, 2015)

3 more big turn off's:

1. People who can't handle having deep conversations (I hate small talk).

2. If they smoke. Or drink a lot. Gross me out.

3. If they go to raves all the time and party like crazy, and are loud, obnoxious, and dirty (when they could otherwise be clean).


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## Donovan (Nov 3, 2009)

1) someone who doesn't want to travel

2) someone who cares very much for material things

3) someone who can't see the depth life has to offer, outside of the normal paths that lead towards that one destination we're all seeking. 


all other negative deal-breaking characteristics are of course implied. i won't date a jackass, so this is more a list of what wouldn't work even if i clicked with the other person.


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## Kore (Aug 10, 2012)

1.) Someone who won't accept that they are shitty, are capable of terrible things and still need to work on themselves 

2.) Someone who listens only because they want to one-up you

3.) Someone who doesn't have a personal code of conduct they live by


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## DemonD (Jun 12, 2012)

1. Religious.

2. Serious. 

3. Sadsturbator/death-fetishist/misery-whore


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## ParetoCaretheStare (Jan 18, 2012)

DemonD said:


> 1. Religious.
> 
> 2. Serious.
> 
> 3. Sadsturbator/death-fetishist/misery-whore


It's okay, you're not really my type anyhow...shhh


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## ParetoCaretheStare (Jan 18, 2012)

1. Someone who likes having intercourse with five or more different people in one year. 
2. Drinker and bad hygiene (they go together)
3. I wouldn't be able to date someone even slightly passive...I'm quite the pushover myself.


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## DemonD (Jun 12, 2012)

ParetoCaretheStare said:


> It's okay, you're not really my type anyhow...shhh


What? I'm guessing you take issue with my points?


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## ParetoCaretheStare (Jan 18, 2012)

DemonD said:


> What? I'm guessing you take issue with my points?


No, you didn't get it. 


I was saying that we wouldn't work out because I am the epitome of those three things you mentioned, from a negative approach, at least.


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