# Things That NTs Hear From Other Types



## lookslikeiwin (May 6, 2014)

TheOminousMuffin said:


> People tend to think INTPs are innocent hearts of gold for some reason. It always feels dirty.


It bothers me greatly. Its like I'm unintentionally lying to them. And I don't know how to talk to those people, because its so obvious to me that they don't really get me. And when I've tried being blunt, either they persisted, thinking I was arguing about it because I'm so humble or whatever, or they decided I was the complete opposite - a really horrible person.


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## ToplessOrange (Jun 3, 2013)

lookslikeiwin said:


> It bothers me greatly. Its like I'm unintentionally lying to them. And I don't know how to talk to those people, because its so obvious to me that they don't really get me. And when I've tried being blunt, either they persisted, thinking I was arguing about it because I'm so humble or whatever, or they decided I was the complete opposite - a really horrible person.


I don't want to be seen as evil, but I don't want to be seen as having a higher moral calibre than I actually possess. It's just occasionally disappointing to both others and me when my impression fails to match my identity. I feel like this wolf in sheep's clothing when I'm trying to be a cat.

And it's such trait ascription bias, because nobody else is a sheep. I'm a wolf in sheep's clothing in a crowd of monkeys when I'm trying to be a cat. Sociology has weird metaphors.

It's just weird when people are like "Oh, he's so adorable when he gets excited about analyzing things" because I know they definitely wouldn't consider the majority of my motives "adorable." I don't know how to feel.

And then my race is another issue, but that has nothing to do with this thread.

I feel like there are two layers to the INTP stereotype of being misunderstood Woobies. The archetype, on the surface, is "INTPs look like they're dismissive of all social rules and are rude, but they're just misunderstood, they just want to learn! It's so innocent." And then there's the second layer. Yes, INTPs have a tendency to not remember every single fucking rule that exists for every social interaction ever, and they come off as rude when they may not be trying to, but that doesn't mean that their actual motives are totally innocent.

We're just like anyone else. We're only human. The INTP personality has no higher or lower capacity to be fucked up.


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## orihara (Nov 23, 2014)

"i can't tell if you're being serious or not"


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## lookslikeiwin (May 6, 2014)

TheOminousMuffin said:


> I don't want to be seen as evil, but I don't want to be seen as having a higher moral calibre than I actually possess. It's just occasionally disappointing to both others and me when my impression fails to match my identity. I feel like this wolf in sheep's clothing when I'm trying to be a cat.
> 
> And it's such trait ascription bias, because nobody else is a sheep. I'm a wolf in sheep's clothing in a crowd of monkeys when I'm trying to be a cat. Sociology has weird metaphors.
> 
> ...


Yes, that is exactly it. As Ti users, we wish for people to understand the truth, whatever that may be, and it bothers us when the truth is not exposed. That and its also patronizing. And it makes them all look like really dull people.

(And I'm betting you're East-Asian  Am I right?)


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## ToplessOrange (Jun 3, 2013)

lookslikeiwin said:


> Yes, that is exactly it. As Ti users, we wish for people to understand the truth, whatever that may be, and it bothers us when the truth is not exposed. That and its also patronizing. And it makes them all look like really dull people.
> 
> (And I'm betting you're East-Asian  Am I right?)


Sometimes. Wikipedia says my ethnicity is "sometimes" included in the definition of "East-Asian."

It's not really relevant, because most Americans don't distinguish them and the same baggage is held regardless of whether you're this asian or that. I imagine I'd bore everyone with my random knowledge on the history of the American treatment of asians and the desexualization and feminization of 'em though, lol. It definitely adds to the "He's so adorable" cliché I get, though. Oh, and my interest in cerebral things sometimes gets attributed to "Ah, asians and their smartness" instead of my personality as well. Eh...


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## ToplessOrange (Jun 3, 2013)

TheOminousMuffin said:


> Sometimes. Wikipedia says my ethnicity is "sometimes" included in the definition of "East-Asian."
> 
> It's not really relevant, because most Americans don't distinguish them and the same baggage is held regardless of whether you're this asian or that. I imagine I'd bore everyone with my random knowledge on the history of the American treatment of asians and the desexualization and feminization of 'em though, lol. It definitely adds to the "He's so adorable" cliché I get, though. Oh, and my interest in cerebral things sometimes gets attributed to "Ah, asians and their smartness" instead of my personality as well. Eh...


On the other hand, I can breathe and have toy guns!


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## lookslikeiwin (May 6, 2014)

TheOminousMuffin said:


> On the other hand, I can breathe and have toy guns!


XD Yeah sorry I was interested. I'm kind of into studying different parts of the world, and I'm writing a story that happens to partly revolve around an INTJ guy that I decided looks Korean (its fantasy though, so technically he isn't Korean because there is no Korea there). He has similar but more extreme problems as mentioned. But I will stop talking about it since I've deviated and I'm sure it isn't that interesting :[


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## LaurenKL (Feb 6, 2013)

"How do you know everything???"

"I don't want to have an argument"- when getting into a juicy debate

"Aspergers!"- my dad nicely says this about me when I'm unaware of some emotional thing

"Why are you angry stop shouting"- When I'm actually just really enthusiastic about this subject & didn't realise


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## kannbrown (Oct 3, 2014)

Does anyone get the accusation of being angry when you're just rambling and talking fast because.... that's how you always talk? I find it tends to happen when talking about things they get emotional about. Amusingly, when I am angry, the calmer and more deadpan, sarcastic I get.


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## ToplessOrange (Jun 3, 2013)

lookslikeiwin said:


> XD Yeah sorry I was interested.


Is that "Yeah, sorry I was interested" or "Yeah sorry, I was interested?"



kannbrown said:


> Does anyone get the accusation of being angry when you're just rambling and talking fast because.... that's how you always talk? I find it tends to happen when talking about things they get emotional about. Amusingly, when I am angry, the calmer and more deadpan, sarcastic I get.


Yeah, and sometimes I moronically start believing the accusations. "Why are you angry?"
"Oh...I don't know. *later* Wait, I wasn't angry! You guys fucking tricked me, you sneaky bitches! Oh, shit, I'm at work."


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## Fischer (Aug 16, 2012)

"Stop correcting people."


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## lookslikeiwin (May 6, 2014)

TheOminousMuffin said:


> Is that "Yeah, sorry I was interested" or "Yeah sorry, I was interested?"


"Yeah sorry, I was interested," was more like what I meant


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## Tetsuo Shima (Nov 24, 2014)

"I have no reason to believe you."


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## starwars (Sep 5, 2014)

kal.liope said:


> My favourite are:
> 
> 1) Don't theoretize.
> 2) Stop overanalyze everything.
> 3) Stop thinking and relax (at least sometimes).


Lol I get(and tell myself) Stop overthinking!
Or
Your small plights in life(I DO NOT like minor set backs. Everything else I can handle)


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## starwars (Sep 5, 2014)

Afterburner said:


> "English, please." - ISFP sister


And ESTP/ENFP brothers


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## SweetTsubaki (Dec 8, 2014)

Xahhakatar said:


> Top three adjectives my mom most commonly uses to describe me:
> 3. Immature
> 2. Arrogant
> 1. Retarded


My mom used them in lesser word (she never used or thought the 3rd one actually, shhe's one of the people who understood me the most), but she was just worried than living in my bubble would cause me problems, because she had to adapt the hard way and she tried to ease me in (she also liked her bubble very much she just learned to "chose" the time and place to go there).
However a lot of people did think that. Some of my teachers even wanted to send me to a mentally handicapped specialized school (which would have been super nice had I actually been handicapped), they didn't want to be mean that was obvious but still...
And other classmate to whom I rarely -if ever- spoke though that too because they only had my grades and outward appearance as references.



SoulScream said:


> "Don't talk to me about emotions, you haven't experienced any" -.-


Said as a joke by my friends who know I like to think rather than feel so it doesn't really count



Hidden from Sight said:


> "I don't give a fuck [about this subject]"
> 
> "How do you know all that? Do you have a life?" - many of my classmates
> 
> "Why do you care about that?" - various


Pretty much everyone. Though only about a few subjects (for example one of my friends who mainly likes comics understand why I like them but not the rest of subjects I'm interested in) and I just don't get it....I don't ask people why they're so into football even though I have no interest in it whatsoever.
THe I don't give a fuck one is probably one of the things that hurt the most because I often at least try to make an effort to listen to people's interests (1. because who knows, it might get interesting. 2. because I know I like it when people try to make an effort for me too). And it's really unfair that almost no ones tries to make that effort with me (I kept the ones who did close to me).
And the do you have a life ? has been told to me so many times, mainly when I said that I loved to read as a kid and actually read most of the time.



The Token Minority said:


> "Why do you know that"
> "Why does that even matter"
> "That was really random, even by your standards"
> "That was deep"


Those have approximatively the same comments as above.
The random thing however is something that I tell people when I meet them so that they won't be surprised by it so I never actually hear it.



Afterburner said:


> "You're such a f****** nerd." - ISTJ acquaintance


Same as those above



Aly962 said:


> "You spend too much time on the internet"
> "Why do you know so much random information about (blank)?"
> "I think you're over-analyzing..."
> "Can you help me with (my essay, my computer, studying for my test, etc...)?"
> *I've somehow managed to become the go-to person in my grade for help while still being the worst procrastinator.*


All true and are actually the reasons why the bolded happen.



Brel said:


> "You're so serious" Random people, whose opinions hold no actual bearing on my life.
> Not a direct quote, but my mom mentioned something to me during the fruitless debates we often have. She said "Why are you always trying to subvert (my word) authority?" Hehe


The second one with your mom has actually been brought to me by my therapist (not as a reproach though, she's actually a good one), but she told me that it was a good thing I was a pretty nice person because if I wanted to I would be able to manipulate people very well. The reason for that: I often rephrase things (probably because I really did love my literature courses in high School and especially the philosophy one); but as I told her it's because people seldom try to broaden their point of vue so if I want things to go further I have to bring my vision to them.



lookslikeiwin said:


> "You're a good listener." That's because I'm dying for you to stop talking to me.
> 
> "[insert me talking]"
> Long pause.
> ...


I had all of them too (people rarely understood that to me learning and reading was a lot of fun)
The bolded part however I only got from the teachers and people who actually liked me and heard me enough to realize that it was true (I'm a big naive and more often than not too nice for her own good softie). Most people take me for a very cold arrogant and condescending bitch. which is what annoy me because as said in the quote under, truth matters more to me and it can be disturbing (when I bother to care....Which I'll admit is not often).



lookslikeiwin said:


> Yes, that is exactly it. As Ti users, we wish for people to understand the truth, whatever that may be, and it bothers us when the truth is not exposed. That and its also patronizing. And it makes them all look like really dull people.


Funny I always considered the fact that people thought of me as a cold bitch to be what was patronizing because part of that is because I don't seem to fit in the nice sweet girl who never speaks too loud trope



conundrum94 said:


> "Stop correcting people."


This one I get every day


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## Suzan (Dec 14, 2014)

"What?"
"Why do you always want to be right?" -I just want a proper discussion T-T
"I wish I had your brain"
"What?"
"What?"


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## stiletto (Oct 26, 2013)

"But I can't"

"I don't know"

"why do you have to think so far ahead?"

- complaints that I don't have feelings

- complaints I don't think about people

*whining*


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## ScientiaOmnisEst (Oct 2, 2013)

@_lookslikeiwin_ and @_TheOminousMuffin_: Guess I'm strange then. I've never minded being called or thought of as "sweet". I don't see what's manipulative about it, though I am sometimes confused by it (like "Really? Me? What did I do?"), I take it as a sign of a kind of...safety. Like, "Good, I'm not upsetting anyone too much." 

Am I "sweet"? I don't know. I guess I am, in terms of behavior. I know I'm far more annoyed by people assuming I'm some ice-cold, uncaring, emotionless bitch because that isn't (entirely) true. I know it's usually a compliment, and if that's how someone perceives my behavior then good on them, I guess. 

What does bug me is being thought of as "innocent." _That_ leaves me feeling dirty in an ironic sort of way. To me, calling someone innocent often seems like a backhanded compliment, like you're secretly calling them immature, stupid, and naive but sugarcoating it to sound cute.


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## lookslikeiwin (May 6, 2014)

ScientiaOmnisEst said:


> @_lookslikeiwin_ and @_TheOminousMuffin_: Guess I'm strange then. I've never minded being called or thought of as "sweet". I don't see what's manipulative about it, though I am sometimes confused by it (like "Really? Me? What did I do?"), I take it as a sign of a kind of...safety. Like, "Good, I'm not upsetting anyone too much."
> 
> Am I "sweet"? I don't know. I guess I am, in terms of behavior. I know I'm far more annoyed by people assuming I'm some ice-cold, uncaring, emotionless bitch because that isn't (entirely) true. I know it's usually a compliment, and if that's how someone perceives my behavior then good on them, I guess.
> 
> What does bug me is being thought of as "innocent." _That_ leaves me feeling dirty in an ironic sort of way. To me, calling someone innocent often seems like a backhanded compliment, like you're secretly calling them immature, stupid, and naive but sugarcoating it to sound cute.


I don't want people to think ill of me, but I don't like people that I barely know, like my mother in law, calling me a sweetheart. It isn't honest. She doesn't know me. And I'm not sweet. It wouldn't bother me if I really was, actually sweet, but I am not. I have tried to be and I found it really tiring. It feels like it is expected of me when someone calls me sweet too, and then I feel like I can't venture outside of my "sweet" box, which I often do in my head. When I have decided to experiment in venturing out anyway, it has failed miserably because either they try to convince me that I'm wrong, or they get mad. I like to be free to behave as myself without repercussions.


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