# My scary dark side



## pericles88 (Apr 23, 2010)

Hi everyone, im an ESTP and ii'll quote directly from another post i made in the ESTP section:



> Ok, so i'll try to make it short. I've been stressed a lot during those last two years,(it all began with several panic attacks that made my life a nightmare) and now, on an almost regular basis, i get in INFJ mode though there isn't much stress in my life now (but i tend to get anxious or angry). So, everytime i get in an INFJ mode i have to wait 5 or 6 days to come back to my normal personnality. (sometimes less)
> 
> I know that sounds so weird and crazy but it scares me. I've heard that our Shadow side appears when we have been confronted to big stress or are really tired, but for me it happens at least two or three times a month.


I keep gettin in and out of this state not only two or three times a month but also two times within one week. And it scares me, it's like im another person when i get in this state. What do you guys advise me to do to stop gettin in this unhealthy state? And even when im in normal ESTP state, my life is meaningless and nothing realy interests me, what would you advise an ESTP to do to enjoy life again? It's like i've lost a whole part of me: the fiesty, enthusiast and competitive part of me HOW DO I GET IT BACK?

Thanks and sorry for my English.


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## CreativeDreams (Oct 18, 2009)

The reason you keep changing is because something is bothering you.
You need to find out what that something really is. And seems like you did 


> my life is meaningless
> i've lost a whole part of me: the fiesty, enthusiast and competitive part


The question is not HOW DO I GET IT BACK, but how *DID YOU LOSE IT?* What happened? Have you dealt with it?
If I need to get out of my negative mood I need to deal with it.


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## myjazz (Feb 17, 2010)

How is being a INFJ a scary dark side?  
CreativeDreams makes a good point to especially with little to go by.
Only you know what caused the panic attack's in the first place. 
Advice from an INFJ might make you more INFJ so I will leave this to others, but without purpose in life what is our life to be?


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## pericles88 (Apr 23, 2010)

Well, nothing real caused me those panic attacks, it was just a vague fear of dying i think. But after i had them, nothing was the same. I don't have them anymore, so what should i deal with?



myjazz said:


> How is being a INFJ a scary dark side?


Well it is scary for me because i'm an ESTP and i want to live my life as an ESTP. And our shadow side is negative, so i when i get in this state I become a negative INFJ. (Maybe under stress, you have got into negative ESTP state, if yes, did you want to stay in this state for very long?)


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## Ungweliante (Feb 26, 2009)

pericles88 said:


> I keep gettin in and out of this state not only two or three times a month but also two times within one week. And it scares me, it's like im another person when i get in this state.


The answer lies in others things you said:



pericles88 said:


> Well it is scary for me because i'm an ESTP and i want to live my life as an ESTP.
> And even when im in normal ESTP state, my life is meaningless and nothing realy interests me.
> It's like i've lost a whole part of me: the fiesty, enthusiast and competitive part of me HOW DO I GET IT BACK?


Even in your normal state, your life feels meaningless. In your INFJ state, your psyche is trying an alternative approach to solve problems. Intuition, looking into how you feel. Yet this is something that is difficult and scary for you - you haven't done it before.

The problem is not you going into an alternative state, but rather that your life feels meaningless. It's impossible to be enthusiastic or competitive when you don't feel like there's a reason to. 

I think this is also what you think by saying that you're an ESTP and want to live your life as one. You want to get back to how you -felt- during your happy ESTP days. Yet it's not your Jungian type that was making you happy, but rather how your life was back then. It felt meaningful, because it was meaningful to you back then. But the situation has changed.



pericles88 said:


> What do you guys advise me to do to stop gettin in this unhealthy state?


I would advise you to develop your intuition and feelings. This is scary and difficult, but it's also the way by which you can find meaning. Your intuition searches for meaning, while your feelings check if it is something that you truly want.

Think deeply of your life. Think what it was that was making you happy, earlier...and how would you like things to be now, to be happy. Take your time with this - it can become evident in a matter of days, but some people do not know what they want for years. This is normal.

Once you know what you truly want, change your life so that you'll start to actively pursue it. Take responsibility for your own happiness.

All the best!


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## CreativeDreams (Oct 18, 2009)

Ungweliante gives some very good advice on how to deal with it.
It would work for me.

Tho, I am curious, if you are willing to share..you said:



pericles88 said:


> Well, nothing real caused me those panic attacks,* it was just a vague fear of dying i think*. But after i had them, nothing was the same. I don't have them anymore, so what should i deal with?


Were these fears rational? Like, did you had them for a reason?


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## myjazz (Feb 17, 2010)

The shadow side of the cognitive function's is not necessarily negative. Going into ESTP mode is part of my healthy diet in life.
If I am am not feeling right no matter where I am or what functions I am using I will still not feel right unless I address the issue.
Have you ever been depressed before and if so has the same reason that caused you to be depressed make you sad after you got over being depressed. Depression or sadness is cause and effect. Depending on how much cause, can produce more effect. Until you become to a realization to what is making you feel "negative' in the first place the reason can be rationalized or added on to other aspect's in your life. Such as switching over to "INFJ" mode then that adds to the dilemma of cause and effect. Now you have to deal with what is bothering you and learn how to use your inferior functions. 
Maybe when you go into INFJ mode this might make some clarity


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## pericles88 (Apr 23, 2010)

Ungweliante said:


> Think deeply of your life. Think what it was that was making you happy, earlier...and how would you like things to be now, to be happy.


Okay, so basically, i need to figure out what is lacking in my life that makes me feel like this and then fix it. But that's the hard thing to do: figuring out what my problems are.



CreativeDreams said:


> Tho, I am curious, if you are willing to share..you said:
> Were these fears rational? Like, did you had them for a reason?


Of course i'm willing to share, it's just that i have troubles expressing what exactly happened to me.
That's it, they were irrational and very intense fears that came from nowhere and lasted two or three weeks, after i had them, my life wasn't the same anymore.


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## pericles88 (Apr 23, 2010)

myjazz said:


> Maybe when you go into INFJ mode this might make some clarity


hmmm....yeah i'll think i'll just wait to get into INFJ mode to answer you :laughing:.
I don't think i was ever depressed (not seriously anyway) before. What's the difference between sadness and depression?

Thanks all for your helps and suggestion.


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## myjazz (Feb 17, 2010)

Maybe you can answer this one to when you go into your awesome INFJ mode.
"Of course i'm willing to share, it's just that i have troubles expressing what exactly happened to me.
That's it, they were irrational and very intense fears that came from nowhere and lasted two or three weeks, after i had them, my life wasn't the same anymore"
BTW: the answers are for you not for me, good luck in finding them and I hope you get better and enjoy life again. It would not hurt to check out the INFJ forum's there are thousand's of post similar to this. Seems to be all we do is talk about emotion's. :crazy:


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## pericles88 (Apr 23, 2010)

myjazz said:


> . It would not hurt to check out the INFJ forum's there are thousand's of post similar to this. Seems to be all we do is talk about emotion's. :crazy:


I would, but i have a fear that checking out the INFJ forum stimulates my inferior functions . 



> Now you have to deal with what is bothering you and learn how to use your inferior functions.


Now That's the problem. What the hell is bothering me ? 

As for Sadness and depression, i think it's the same ( ESTP mode right now :laughing.


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## myjazz (Feb 17, 2010)

Everything I wrote was for your shadow self


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## CreativeDreams (Oct 18, 2009)

pericles88 said:


> Of course i'm willing to share, it's just that i have troubles expressing what exactly happened to me.
> That's it, they were irrational and very intense fears that came from nowhere and lasted two or three weeks, after i had them, my life wasn't the same anymore.


So something did happen to you which triggered these fears. Maybe not directly to you, but your environment? Did anything changed? How long ago did you experienced these feelings?


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## myjazz (Feb 17, 2010)

The difference between being sad and depression is the degree of how the emotion affects you. Depression can take over your life and cause serious problems that could make you take med's. Sadness is a common and necessary emotion to have. When the event's or reason for being sad become to much and you can't handle it you become depressed. If something is wrong with your body physically pain let's you know something is wrong so you can take care of what is wrong with your body. If the pain is severe you can go into shock or pass out. If the pain is ignored the issue with body can get much worse.
Consider emotion's like physical pain for a moment. If you allow the emotion's to be ignored or if the emotion's become to much to bear. That can cause severe negative effect's to the human psyche or spiritual self. Until you are able to heal the pain and the cause of the pain the symptoms will not go away. 
Also I was not applying that you had or have depression. I was just finding common ground to use as a analogy.
INFJ are famous for metaphors in case you forgot. Is there such a thing as irrational emotion's???


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## pericles88 (Apr 23, 2010)

CreativeDreams said:


> So something did happen to you which triggered these fears. Maybe not directly to you, but your environment? Did anything changed? How long ago did you experienced these feelings?


Well nothing *real* happened that triggered the fears, each time, i just thought i was going to have e heart attack, so it was all in my head. They lasted about 2-5min but as i said, they were very intense and I experienced these fears many time a day during two or three weeks.



myjazz said:


> The difference between being sad and depression is the degree of how the emotion affects you. Depression can take over your life and cause serious problems that could make you take med's. Sadness is a common and necessary emotion to have. When the event's or reason for being sad become to much and you can't handle it you become depressed. If something is wrong with your body physically pain let's you know something is wrong so you can take care of what is wrong with your body. If the pain is severe you can go into shock or pass out. If the pain is ignored the issue with body can get much worse.
> Consider emotion's like physical pain for a moment. If you allow the emotion's to be ignored or if the emotion's become to much to bear. That can cause severe negative effect's to the human psyche or spiritual self. Until you are able to heal the pain and the cause of the pain the symptoms will not go away.
> Also I was not applying that you had or have depression. I was just finding common ground to use as a analogy.
> INFJ are famous for metaphors in case you forgot. Is there such a thing as irrational emotion's???


I get it now. I just have to find out where does the pain exactly comes from so i can take actions to heal it.

Thanks for your advice.


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## Thorgar (Apr 3, 2010)

It almost sounds like generalized anxiety. If so, you can't reason it away. A lot of things can cause that. You should see your doctor.


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## myjazz (Feb 17, 2010)

What do you do when you have to much physical pain or a broken leg. You go to the doctor, same as a emotion pain. Unless you are a N preferably a INFJ. What you are dealing with probably is anxiety but I am not a doctor I only said I would help with clarity. 
My point is not only that but to give you a tool to help you understand when you get confused now and or later.


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## pericles88 (Apr 23, 2010)

myjazz said:


> What do you do when you have to much physical pain or a broken leg. You go to the doctor, same as a emotion pain. Unless you are a N preferably a INFJ. What you are dealing with probably is anxiety but I am not a doctor I only said I would help with clarity.
> My point is not only that but to give you a tool to help you understand when you get confused now and or later.


I think i get your point. But i think that Im more sad than anxious .And I'm already seing a doctor, but it doesn't help me much.


Thanks.


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## myjazz (Feb 17, 2010)

Stress it self is a very unhealthy. Did or is anything in your life causing you to stress besides stressing over becoming an awesome INFJ. I tried to not get personal while chatting with you. If you are on med's that only help's part of the problem. Med's are to help you adjust when you are not able to. If you want you can PM me if you dont feel like getting to personal on here. Sorry, I was away on a business trip for a couple of day's.


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## conscius (Apr 20, 2010)

pericles88 said:


> Hi everyone, im an ESTP and ii'll quote directly from another post i made in the ESTP section:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


can you explain yourself again but without referring to personality types?


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## pericles88 (Apr 23, 2010)

myjazz said:


> Stress it self is a very unhealthy. Did or is anything in your life causing you to stress besides stressing over becoming an awesome INFJ. I tried to not get personal while chatting with you. If you are on med's that only help's part of the problem. Med's are to help you adjust when you are not able to. If you want you can PM me if you dont feel like getting to personal on here. Sorry, I was away on a business trip for a couple of day's.



Now that im in INFJ mode, i know that my problem is having deep anger inside me that depress me, and that ive been unaware of and negelecting as an ESTP until i reach this critical state. Now im still trying to figure out what is making me so angry so i can fix it

So, I think i've been storing up anger inside myself by neglectiong my needs and feelings (we, ESTPs tends to neglects our needs) for too long. And now, i got no choice but to meet these needs to feel better.

So, my problem now is: What are my needs to feel happy?
Im trying to figure this out.

And you are right, it's awesome it be an INFJ.

consicus > Well, initially i made this topic because i was scared of me switching to my shadow side, but now i know that it's not the real problem: the real problem is about somethin being wrong in my life that unmotivate me an depress me and makes me feel like my life is going nowhere and that im trying to figure out.

Thanks all for your support.


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## myjazz (Feb 17, 2010)

To deal with the anger that inside of you is a start to be able to live a happy life.


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## pericles88 (Apr 23, 2010)

myjazz said:


> To deal with the anger that inside of you is a start to be able to live a happy life.


That's exactly what i think. Thank you.


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## slightlystoopid69 (Apr 12, 2013)

i hear if you're feeling your life is empty, etc is because there isn't enough spontanious, exciting, challenging events going on. i'm feeling your pain.


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