# Effects of Long-Term Social Isolation



## Monsieur Melancholy (Nov 16, 2012)

Just curious because I've been essentially socially isolated for a _very _long time now. I'm actually not really sure if it's my own fault or not.

Regardless, what are the effects?


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## Emerson (Mar 13, 2011)

How long is "long term"?
Why do you not know if it is your fault or not?
How are you isolated?


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

l've enjoyed my extended vacations from socializing lol. But you always have to readjust, even if you don't think it's affected you at all. l don't think l took a real break from socializing until l was 18, the summer before l turned 19 and it felt WEIRD. Very weird, looking back l can't believe it felt so weird to me. l'd never had a break from people long enough to do so before that, l guess.

l'd say your social skills just go. Then, when l got back into things l adjusted well enough but l realized that l found it annoying just how much we have to monitor our behavior around other people. 

Depending on how much time you have to spend with people it can even change the direction of your inner thoughts. l find myself reflecting a lot less if around people constantly...l see how it changes people very easily.

l don't think it's that hard to readjust when you want to, though. There's just a balance you have to strike but frankly after experiencing those long periods of at least near solitude, l never wanted the same level of socializing again. 

My family does not understand this and l was socialized to be very uh...hur durr...social. Socially social. There's probably a natural process introverts or extroverts who need space follow after entering adulthood.


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## haennie (May 19, 2013)

Weird that this is my first post here but the topic hits home here and now for me as I am trying to combat isolation and depression...
So hi, I am an E 5w4, MBTI INTP/J (not very strong pref in the last dimension).

What kind of social isolation are you referring to?

Reagardless... one of the effects can be sensory deprivation. You are withdrawn for a while, body and brain not used to processing sensory input from the external world anymore. Check out Wikipedia Sensory deprivation.

Also, you did not ask but I think it's interesting to mention the effect of *coming out of social isolation*. Can be extremely difficult as your nervous system needs to re-adujst to being stimulated on multiple channels. Many monks would know this.


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## kareem (Jan 30, 2013)

I find it harder to talk as fast as i was used to, idea formation and thoughts are not expressed as well and as fluent as used to. I feel energy less, lazy, lethargic. I feel that i can't handle anyone looking at me. I become more sensitive.

All this lasts a few hours to go away, i noticed that i act a little bit more than necessary, being jumpy and trying to get everything in. Once i start talking loudly then i'm back to normal.


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## RandomNote (Apr 10, 2013)

A tougher time communicating with others maybe?


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## Monsieur Melancholy (Nov 16, 2012)

Emerson said:


> How long is "long term"?
> Why do you not know if it is your fault or not?
> How are you isolated?


Long-term as in unusually longer than most would expect to go without interacting with anyone.

I don't know, mine gradually grew over the course of a year and a half. Mainly because other people were affecting my mental health very negatively.

I'm isolated in that I don't make physical or verbal contact with people unless it's absolutely necessary. A lot of stuff went down that made me extremely distrusting of other people and their behaviours and motives.


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

I was socially isolated for a large majority of my life. I grew up in a neighborhood in which I was the only white child and the only non-Christian, and all the other children's parents told them not to talk to me. My teachers were also very conservative and disliked me. I had one sibling who was three years younger and heavily autistic, who I never related to at all, and another sibling eleven years younger who I also couldn't relate to. In high school I made a few friends for the first time ever, but I became duel enrolled after Sophomore year and left to go to college, where I also couldn't relate to anyone due to the age difference (not to mention cultural differences). I moved in with my very depressive, abusive and controlling boyfriend at age 18, who refused to leave the house and prevented me from making any friends in the area. It wasn't until I was 19 (a bit over a year ago) that I started making actual friends and developed the tiniest semblance of a social life (going out maybe once a month if that, mostly communicating with people online or on a semi-professional basis).

Because of these unfortunate circumstances, I thought for a long time that I was an INTP. The concept of being extroverted seemed absurd; I hardly knew how to talk to anyone, was incredibly socially awkward and often very shy or hesitant to speak up. I would often walk into a room full of people and feel depressed, alone, foreign, like I didn't belong there or was always being judged. I preferred to do things alone because I was afraid of other people not understanding me, making fun of me, or rejecting me. It was a very dark time for me.

It was my ex boyfriend who kind of changed things. He took one look at me and said, "You're an extrovert. Why aren't you out with people?" I had a million excuses: Nobody understands me, I don't fit in, I say stupid things, there's nowhere fun to meet people, etc. He made me realize that I was letting my fear of rejection stop me from finally making friends. So I actually started reading books on human behavior, socialization and sales (some great tips for public relations come from salespeople). I monitored my behavior very closely and forced myself to follow the customs of the people I'm with, smile more, use open body language, think positively, etc. It was a bit bumpy, but it worked. I got involved in my school's honor society, I volunteered, I went to public events and tried to force myself to talk to people. The more I tried, the happier I became.

Now I am fairly good at socialization, but I still struggle with a lot of my old insecurities. I still feel alone in a crowded room, still tend to spend days up in my room alone when I don't have a decent reason to leave, and I'm not exactly the most natural social butterfly, though I can fake social nuances when I try. I'm quite sensitive, not very confident in approaching social situations (ironically I'm VERY confident in approaching people if something needs to be done or if I have a clear reason for talking to them), and I am very reserved unless I feel completely comfortable. I don't like it when people stare at me, because it makes me feel judged, so I tend to wear very bland clothing and no makeup. I know that I am an extrovert; the only times in my life I've felt completely happy and myself were when I was surrounded by people I could relate to somewhat and socializing every day. But I'm still looking for a way to "fit" into the world again. It will be a long time before other people can recognize me as an extrovert, I think.


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## Orchidion (Jan 3, 2013)

devoid said:


> I was socially isolated for a large majority of my life. I grew up in a neighborhood in which I was the only white child and the only non-Christian, and all the other children's parents told them not to talk to me. My teachers were also very conservative and disliked me. I had one sibling who was three years younger and heavily autistic, who I never related to at all, and another sibling eleven years younger who I also couldn't relate to. In high school I made a few friends for the first time ever, but I became duel enrolled after Sophomore year and left to go to college, where I also couldn't relate to anyone due to the age difference (not to mention cultural differences). I moved in with my very depressive, abusive and controlling boyfriend at age 18, who refused to leave the house and prevented me from making any friends in the area. It wasn't until I was 19 (a bit over a year ago) that I started making actual friends and developed the tiniest semblance of a social life (going out maybe once a month if that, mostly communicating with people online or on a semi-professional basis).
> 
> Because of these unfortunate circumstances, I thought for a long time that I was an INTP. The concept of being extroverted seemed absurd; I hardly knew how to talk to anyone, was incredibly socially awkward and often very shy or hesitant to speak up. I would often walk into a room full of people and feel depressed, alone, foreign, like I didn't belong there or was always being judged. I preferred to do things alone because I was afraid of other people not understanding me, making fun of me, or rejecting me. It was a very dark time for me.
> 
> ...


Now that I read this I wonder again wether I am an ENTP or an INTP. When I am in good company I feel energised, alike delineated in common description of extroversion. Then again I am pretty much a loner and do not enjoy most peoples company. Drawing from my behaviour I am strongly introverted. I grew up being alone for long periods and kinda got used to it. 

Could you personally name a few criterion, with which I could figure the I/E question out?

PS: Very good post!


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

Orchidion said:


> Now that I read this I wonder again wether I am an ENTP or an INTP. When I am in good company I feel energised, alike delineated in common description of extroversion. Then again I am pretty much a loner and do not enjoy most peoples company. Drawing from my behaviour I am strongly introverted. I grew up being alone for long periods and kinda got used to it.
> 
> Could you personally name a few criterion, with which I could figure the I/E question out?
> 
> PS: Very good post!


What you describe sounds much more I than E to me, but it's hard to tell. The only reason I decided on ENTP in the end was the order of functions and the way that impacts thought patterns. I definitely use Ne before Ti, and definitely place more value on the external world than my internal world (even though I am forced to spend more time internally focused). I highly recommend reading a decent description of INTP and ENTP (wikipedia is okay-ish) and asking yourself which clicks more.

Another thing to keep in mind is that nobody is 100% introverted or extroverted; it's simply a question of which function we place more focus on. An INTP cares most about discovering inherent knowledge (Ti) and secondly about analyzing that knowledge and exploring all the possibilities (Ne). An ENTP cares most about finding new perspectives, new connections and new solutions (Ne), and secondly about determining the usefulness and logic behind these ideas (Ti). For this reason, social situations often excite an ENTP so long as they are interesting, because they feed the ENTP's Ne and allow them to see patterns and understand new perspectives. By contrast, INTP's do better when they are free to gather knowledge without the distraction of socialization, and are more likely to have very specific friends who they hang out with just to make themselves feel emotionally rewarded. The INTP's inferior Fe makes them less likely to connect to people, while the ENTP's tertiary Fe tends to feed their Ne and allow them to get inside a person's head.


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## Orchidion (Jan 3, 2013)

devoid said:


> What you describe sounds much more I than E to me, but it's hard to tell. The only reason I decided on ENTP in the end was the order of functions and the way that impacts thought patterns. I definitely use Ne before Ti, and definitely place more value on the external world than my internal world (even though I am forced to spend more time internally focused). I highly recommend reading a decent description of INTP and ENTP (wikipedia is okay-ish) and asking yourself which clicks more.
> 
> Another thing to keep in mind is that nobody is 100% introverted or extroverted; it's simply a question of which function we place more focus on. An INTP cares most about discovering inherent knowledge (Ti) and secondly about analyzing that knowledge and exploring all the possibilities (Ne). An ENTP cares most about finding new perspectives, new connections and new solutions (Ne), and secondly about determining the usefulness and logic behind these ideas (Ti). For this reason, social situations often excite an ENTP so long as they are interesting, because they feed the ENTP's Ne and allow them to see patterns and understand new perspectives. By contrast, INTP's do better when they are free to gather knowledge without the distraction of socialization, and are more likely to have very specific friends who they hang out with just to make themselves feel emotionally rewarded. The INTP's inferior Fe makes them less likely to connect to people, while the ENTP's tertiary Fe tends to feed their Ne and allow them to get inside a person's head.


I have characteristics from both the Entp and the Intp description, though I´d see myself more in the Intp delineation. Likewise it is hard to determine wether my Ne or my Ti is the dominant function. I guess I will just remain an "Unknown Personality" until I had more social experiences and til my cognitive functions develop further.


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

Orchidion said:


> I have characteristics from both the Entp and the Intp description, though I´d see myself more in the Intp delineation. Likewise it is hard to determine wether my Ne or my Ti is the dominant function. I guess I will just remain an "Unknown Personality" until I had more social experiences and til my cognitive functions develop further.


Yep. It took me about a year to settle on ENTP, and that was more of a hunch at first anyway. I'd say don't stress over it, because the important thing is to get to know who you are, not who you're similar to.


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## brittauzenne (Feb 8, 2013)

you should probably focus more on your past than focus on whats gonna be wrong. its happened to me too, but it stems from child abuse..living in low conditions...it isolates you whether you want it to or not. thats my situation at least and its been terrible. its something you dont just walk away from and the damage tends to separate you. I ended up with PTSD from my childhood. So figure out your history because if you really are in the margin, the last thing you need is to dwell on that more. You may have alot of blanks to fill in if you grew up in an oppresive environment.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

I can't remember if it was all deliberate. At some point, I remember just thinking what a tired fucking charade. This is to some great extreme that I don't think most people experience it. I'd done it all. I'd seen it all. I'd met every type of person there was to be met. It reached a point where I could easily name the personality, the motive, the end, and see no use in the middle. The beginning was tiring enough, knowing the end. I just started asking myself, why am I out, doing this, am I enjoying having to divide my attention for a bunch of people performing for me, performing for each other, performing for themselves? Why are they doing this; its sad, boring, pointless. 

I lost the desire to be around anyone unless there was a specific goal in mind. I'd be more likely to hang out if we were going to move boxes of junk to storage, than to "just sit and chill." I realized that I'm not a "just sit and chill" person unless I want to get very close -- and there aren't many people I'd ever want to get that close to. 

Friends in groups, the dynamics, the politics - I get tired just thinking about each time I had a group of friends. I can't multi-task in whatever way that involves. I currently have three people in my life who I actually spend time with irl, and never at the same time.

So, the effects. The more I was out of the noise, the group, the more jaded I became to it all. I got my taste of extended alone-time, and hung onto only quality friends, and couldn't bear going to another social gathering that included the others. Why. Fucking. Bother.

I'd rather sit home and watch x-files reruns, or spend one-on-one time with a guy. 

Years into this, I noticed things like, my pace was a little different, when talking to random strangers in the environment. Its.. *take them aaaaaallll in, reflect, process* then respond, and in such a way that they don't typically expect. I'd lost that ability to toss some quick bullshit back at them at the drop of a hat. Without that quick shit-tossing, came this ability to really take in their energy though, really feel them out. Pick up on all their little cues, why they're saying what they're saying. I would have only noticed all that in hindsight before. Now it was something I'd experience before even thinking of my response. 

Less tolerance for bullshit is another side-effect. "Lets go bowling!" No. "BUT.." You know I'm not gonna do that shit.

Or I find myself in the middle of people verbally masturbating in front of each other, and I just say fuck this, I'm out. The noise in my own head, I have found, is far more enjoyable to listen to than listening to the two of you try to prove your stupid fucking point. I'd have felt more hesitant to just stare blankly and walk away, before. Now, I just can't be bothered to give a fuck unless its relevant or important. 

Important.. well.. back when I would bother with lots of assholes, lots of noise, it was important not to make an ass of yourself socially. It was important to stand there, smile, nod, be diplomatic, maintain the atmosphere. I mean of course you want to keep hanging out with all these awesome people who are barely tolerable until you have had three drinks!

Biggest side-effect, and the one I consider actually problematic. I cannot handle institutional type situations anymore. Sitting still in a room full of others who are sitting still, completely sedate, collectively listening, or just toiling over their little cog in the wheel. I feel too alive inside, like theres a raging fire, in contrast to all these domesticated people who have a low burning flame, nearly out. 

I'm feral, and I don't want to be re-socialized, killing the parts of me that feel more free, unbridled, and having to just meet constant expectations, licking boots and being nose-to-ass, in order to maintain social fucking relations. 

About two years or so ago, I was in a relationship with someone who thought it was some big important deal that I assimilate and become friends with his massive network of friends. Thats how they getcha. Its important to someone you love, to put your nice shoes on and go pretend to give two fucks about four fucks when the idea is about as appealing as a root canal. I realized though, on some deep fundamental level, with roots now into the very core of my being, that theres no way I was going to sit there with a big ol' shit-eating grin, in support of competing egos seeking a stroke, in the pathetic vain hope that someone can stroke mine back.


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## Monsieur Melancholy (Nov 16, 2012)

brittauzenne said:


> you should probably focus more on your past than focus on whats gonna be wrong. its happened to me too, but it stems from child abuse..living in low conditions...it isolates you whether you want it to or not. thats my situation at least and its been terrible. its something you dont just walk away from and the damage tends to separate you. I ended up with PTSD from my childhood. So figure out your history because if you really are in the margin, the last thing you need is to dwell on that more. You may have alot of blanks to fill in if you grew up in an oppresive environment.


I know where you're coming from, especially on the oppressive environment stuff. I'm still, in many ways, stuck in that abyss.

And it wouldn't surprise me if I developed some PTSD from the termination of my one-and-only relationship and the events surrounding it. If I had been in psychiatric care at the time, I might have been diagnosed with that.

The kind of people I'm exposed to on a regular basis just push me further and further into that socially isolated hole. Like a turtle in his shell never coming out for air because God knows what wild animals are lurking and what danger is present.


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

lmaooooo l am in love with so much of what @Promethea said.

l wonder if l might have been an introvert if my home life were different, though l guess would have avoided making friends at school if l wanted so desperately to isolate before age 18.

l think as an ENXP type l retained my kind of ''bubble'' even with people around so it didn't feel too invasive, though l wonder what would have happened if l'd actually been allowed to sit in my room alone for hours on end. 

My family would practically force me out into the living room to watch TV . lt was like there had to be unity within the household and if family members weren't in contact for too long, it'd be broken. There was even a certain way we watched TV and a silent expectation that we all laughed at the jokes the same time(followed by looks if we didn't).

But yeah, l guess l am an extrovert at this point regardless of what could have been, but the periods of isolation l did have made me feel that exact way about people. l wouldn't want to try and pull it off permanently but l think it was nice to step outside of that.

TL;DR: l am probably just more ''fuck you'' now.


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## Monsieur Melancholy (Nov 16, 2012)

OMG WTF BRO said:


> *
> My family would practically force me out into the living room to watch TV . lt was like there had to be unity within the household and if family members weren't in contact for too long, it'd be broken.* There was even a certain way we watched TV and a silent expectation that we all laughed at the jokes the same time(followed by looks if we didn't).


I think I'd do anything to have a family like that. I could be dead on the floor in the same house for five days before anyone would take notice.


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

Monsieur Melancholy said:


> I think I'd do anything to have a family like that. I could be dead on the floor in the same house for five days before anyone would take notice.


You can have them if you'd like. l find people like this to be draining but also fascinating because you'd never know how many problems some of them have, l think my uncle is the most hypersocial charming person l've ever known and he was addicted to heroin for nearly 30 years with _none _of us knowing about it.

lnteresting bunch, just don't leave your electronics around them


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## SugarForBreakfast (Jun 25, 2012)

@Promethea, wow. Very introverted characteristics right there. XD

I relate more with what @devoid posed; When I'm alone for a while, I start to miss being around people, but feel a bit hesitant to go out and seek their company. Insecurities get in my way, too; I fear coming off as 'too desperate' or 'chasing' if I initiate contact with others for company (yet I'm the one doing most of the initiating anyway), and at times if a hangout starts going well I find myself getting a bit, well, excited - this has led to impulsive and weird behaviors around others that would, well alienate them a bit. However, if it's a hangout between me and one or two other people, my insecurity of being a boring conversationalist comes out; I can simply ask the other people about themselves and what makes them tick, but then I have to be careful not to go into "interview" mode, persay. If they're the "verbal masturbators" Promethea describes, I can laugh with them but I just can't necessarily match their speed. Cluttering (a speech impediment) gets in the way; I skip syllables and they have to ask me to repeat myself a couple of times. 

The more I'm used to being around others, the more securely I eventually settle into myself and the more relaxed I am; this leads into an inertia where I become more social, my social skills shake their rust and I can keep coming up with more opportunities to be around others. Yet I still have to be mindful (that's the key word) of my behaviors, and sometimes that leads into overthinking. Again, the more used to being around others that I am, the better my judgement.


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## Everyday Ghoul (Aug 4, 2009)

Grew up calling a closet and a locked bathroom home. It was safe. I had no friends. Made some in high school. Lost them all within a few years. Most of them left because of my ex-fiance. She's long gone. My last ex is long gone. No friends, no girlfriend, once more. My therapist is the only person I talk to. Her and you words on a screen. Been through so much abuse and isolation, I just liken myself to an old, junkyard dog. Every new person is a potential new master. I'm torn between my desire to love and trust new master and to just rip new master's throat out with my teeth. I can't prove the extreme isolation drove me crazy, but I'm sure it didn't help.


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## RandomNote (Apr 10, 2013)

2 years of not socializing i wonder what will happen.......probably nothing.


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