# Being Nice Never Pays Off. Is It Bad I Feel This Way?



## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

DaphneDelRey said:


> If you're nice to people in the hopes of a "payoff," then to be fair, you're not really being nice for nice's sake at all.


Exactly. What happened to being nice to be nice and not for personal gain?


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## BoomerGirl (Apr 10, 2014)

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Exactly. What happened to being nice to be nice and not for personal gain?


I'm not necessarily doing it for personal gain. I do it because I would feel like crap if I didn't do it but I don't wanna fail at life either. It's probably because the people who tell me that are jerks and want to make themselves feel better about themselves.


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## Razare (Apr 21, 2009)

BoomerGirl said:


> I'm a super nice person to everyone I meet. I am even friendly and kind to people I dislike. It just comes naturally to me but why am I always the one getting yelled at? Why is it that whenever someone whos mean makes a mistake it's not a big deal but when I do it I get in trouble? My friends tell me that I should be less nice because being nice doesn't get you anywhere in this world. Once you hear the same thing over and over again you start to believe it.


Your motivation for being nice is probably a wrong motivation, so because your motive is wrong, it produces the wrong result in your life.

If your motive for being nice is correct, you will have no regrets, and good things will come of it.

Jesus was more than nice, he went to the cross and died for us, but he had no regrets, and look what came of it and what will come of it.


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## Falling Leaves (Aug 18, 2011)

I'm a nice person, in that I try to be good, helpful, and kind to people for niceness sake. I don't expect anything back for this kind of behaviour; it really is just who I am.

...at the same time however, it's not like I live in a happy bubble world. I am aware that there are people out there who take advantage of kindness, which is why I'm weary of going particularly out of my way for others. The basic niceness package from me is free, but you have to EARN any additional add-on extras. Maybe I'm not as nice a person as I think I am. 

Some people look at nice behaviour and see it as being a 'pushover'. Some nice people view being treated like a 'pushover' as par for the course. I honestly don't know what your situation is, but I will say this: I don't think it's about being nice as it really is about being a decent human being. I'm kind to people as per above because I care about the world I live in - I want to treat people how I wish to be treated. That doesn't mean I need to go out of my way, it just means I should treat people with decency and respect. It doesn't mean that I can't stick up for myself, it means that I try and take responsibility for my actions. It doesn't mean that I can't say no to people, it means that I am genial to those I share space with. 

I can live with not being the most kind, most giving, and nicest person (what some people would label a 'pushover') because I know that, despite not wanting to share my goddamn pizza with you, I am trying to be the best person I can be. That's all we should really need out of life.


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## loving2011 (Nov 6, 2012)

Being nice does pay off in life. You just have to be with the right people that appreciate you. If you're being nice to jerks and douches that criticize you, then you won't be treated nicely. Like the OP, the people that criticized me for being nice were ironically miserable jerks. THEY thought they were strong and assertive people, but their lives were miserable (unemployed, stuck with a cheating man, broke, drunk, etc). Apart from those people, everyone else has appreciated my easy-going and friendly demeanor. Even if I did try to act more b*tchy and aggressive, it would just feel awkward and fake. Niceness only becomes a problem when you're not taking care of your own needs. Be nice to yourself as you are to others. Don't change yourself, just because people think they can take advantage of you. They can't take advantage of you, if you don't give your heart and energy to them.


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