# What should I do with my life?



## OP (Oct 22, 2016)

I'm a high school senior and I have no idea what I want to do after I graduate. My parents expect me to go to college or university, they're willing to pay for it, so it's very likely that I'll eventually go.

1. Should I go to college straight after high school, or take a year off to travel and/or get some work experience? I'm scared that I won't have enough motivation to study for another 4 years, but several of my relatives (in their 30s-40s) told me that it'll be even harder to study if I take a year off.

2. What degree should I study? I don't plan to spend a lot of time at college or university, and I'll end up with a bachelor's degree if everything goes well. I'm going to get a part time job (not necessarily related to my actual future job) during that time so I'll have some work experience, too.

3. I still don't know exactly what kind of job I want. Ideally, I want a job that:
~ doesn't involve sitting at a desk all day. No more than 50% desk time
~ lets me work alone most of the time
~ doesn't require women to wear dresses, skirts, or heels
~ has nothing to do with school.

I don't expect to get a high paying job as soon as I finish college. I'm definitely willing to start from the bottom.

I'm really lost! I need motivation!


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## Shroud Shifter (Sep 9, 2015)

Do travel if you have the money and guts for it. I wish I would have. Maybe you'll figure out what you want to do later.


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## Flo J (Oct 16, 2016)

It sounds like you haven't even given it any thought as to what you should do with your life and are just being lazy asking others to tell you what to do. What you should do with your life is whatever the hell you feel like doing.


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## OP (Oct 22, 2016)

Shroud Shifter said:


> Do travel if you have the money and guts for it. I wish I would have. Maybe you'll figure out what you want to do later.


Guts, yes. Money... well, I should probably save up first.



Flo J said:


> It sounds like you haven't even given it any thought as to what you should do with your life and are just being lazy asking others to tell you what to do. What you should do with your life is whatever the hell you feel like doing.


I've been seriously thinking about it since freshman year. I've argued with my parents many times over whether I was going straight to college after high school. I've talked to my careers advisor at school and all she said was "well, you can do anything" which was not helpful at all. I've ruled out jobs that I simply don't have talent or skills in, such as those involving writing, sports, or music.

Yeah, I obviously haven't given it any thought at all. I'm clearly not so desperate that I had to ask for advice on a forum. It'd be great if I was on my deathbed right now, thinking about what I could've done with my life.


* *




Sorry. I'm just feeling really sarcastic today.


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## OP (Oct 22, 2016)

Rant about my elitist parents below.


* *




Ever since I was old enough to start thinking about my future, my parents have kept "reminding" me that white collar jobs are the only jobs worth doing. When I point out that society wouldn't function without blue or pink collar jobs, they keep "reassuring" me that I won't end up doing one of those jobs. I don't have the guts to tell them that I don't want a desk job.




I realize that I sound like a whiny, spoiled brat. It's just that I strongly disagree with my parents' attitude toward blue collar jobs.


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

Do you know your enneagram types?

Im a 7 for example (INTP) and I find pleasure to be the best course of action. So I study anatomy, human physics, exercise, etc in order to be able to train people as a personal trainer. Other 7s can pursue game development, music, art. Anything that brings stress reduction. 

What is it about the desk job that you don't want?


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## OP (Oct 22, 2016)

Stelliferous said:


> Do you know your enneagram types?
> 
> Im a 7 for example (INTP) and I find pleasure to be the best course of action. So I study anatomy, human physics, exercise, etc in order to be able to train people as a personal trainer. Other 7s can pursue game development, music, art. Anything that brings stress reduction.
> 
> What is it about the desk job that you don't want?


I'm not sure about my enneagram type, I've only read a little bit about them. I think I might be a 5 or 9, though. I'm an INTP.

As a student, I really don't like having to sit in class all day, then sitting some more at night to do my homework. I'd rather be more active at my job so I wouldn't have to force myself to go to the gym after work. I also wouldn't want to work with people all the time because it stresses me out.


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

Bismuth said:


> I'm not sure about my enneagram type, I've only read a little bit about them. I think I might be a 5 or 9, though. I'm an INTP.
> 
> As a student, I really don't like having to sit in class all day, then sitting some more at night to do my homework. I'd rather be more active at my job so I wouldn't have to force myself to go to the gym after work. I also wouldn't want to work with people all the time because it stresses me out.


Sounds to me like you are a 9. So rule out immediate decision making skills. 

9s are great in leadership positions. How do you feel about management?


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

The thing about a 9 is that they think too much. You have to follow your gut more. Go after what you want to go after, not what your brain is trying to figure out.


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## OP (Oct 22, 2016)

Stelliferous said:


> Sounds to me like you are a 9. So rule out immediate decision making skills.
> 
> 9s are great in leadership positions. How do you feel about management?


I'm definitely not a 9, then. I've never been good in leadership positions.


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

Bismuth said:


> I'm definitely not a 9, then. I've never been good in leadership positions.


Well leadership is a skill to be developed. 9s are good at it because they naturally understand smoothing out things to create harmony. But if you don't know how to lead then you're just going to let someone else lead. 

If you don't want to lead that's fine. Just trying to get you to think about stuff you want to do, not stuff you don't want to do.


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## OP (Oct 22, 2016)

Stelliferous said:


> Well leadership is a skill to be developed. 9s are good at it because they naturally understand smoothing out things to create harmony. But if you don't know how to lead then you're just going to let someone else lead.
> 
> If you don't want to lead that's fine. Just trying to get you to think about stuff you want to do, not stuff you don't want to do.


The thing is, every time I see a job that looks interesting, I either lose interest within a week, find out that I'll never be able to do it, or my parents wouldn't approve. It's really hard to think of jobs that don't involve sitting at a desk all the time _or_ interacting with many people, _and_ that my family would respect.


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## Zoquaro (Oct 23, 2016)

Hiya 

What about digital journalism? Think that could work?


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## OP (Oct 22, 2016)

I have several ideas now.

First, I may or may not take a year off. Then:

*A. Go to college or university, study a bachelor's degree, then look for jobs.*
Pros:
~ I'd be able to qualify for many different jobs, so I could change careers more easily
~ Parents would be happy

Cons:
~ Essays... unless I do math
~ If I realize halfway that I picked the wrong subject, I'd have to suffer through the rest of it or start over


*B. Go to trade school, learn a trade.*
Pros:
~ Likely to meet my requirements for my ideal job
~ _Possibly_ earn more than a typical college graduate
~ Women are underrepresented in trades, so it'd be slightly easier for me to get in

Cons:
~ Parents would be mad at first
~ If I lose interest in that particular trade, it'd be hard to change careers without going back to school
~ Supply and demand for different trades could change


*C. Work in the family business.*
Pros:
~ Guaranteed income

Cons:
~ I'd be living off my grandma's money
~ I might still have to get a degree anyway, just so that my grandma can tell people that I have one
~ My grandma would micromanage me
~ This is clearly the worst option that I can think of right now. I'd only use it as a last resort


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## OP (Oct 22, 2016)

Zoquaro said:


> Hiya
> 
> What about digital journalism? Think that could work?


You mean like Buzzfeed? That could work if I could get away with only posting funny GIFs or quizzes. My writing is terrible.


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## Zoquaro (Oct 23, 2016)

Bismuth said:


> You mean like Buzzfeed? That could work if I could get away with only posting funny GIFs or quizzes. My writing is terrible.


Darn D:
Would have fit the job preferences pretty well methinks.


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## OP (Oct 22, 2016)

Zoquaro said:


> Darn D:
> Would have fit the job preferences pretty well methinks.


*sigh* I'm just not good at anything.


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## Zoquaro (Oct 23, 2016)

Bismuth said:


> *sigh* I'm just not good at anything.


Argh! Don't say that! >_<

You actually _got_ plans for the future and are thinking things through! That puts you miles above the majority of your peers already! I'm sure if you keep at it, you'll find something that works for you.


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## BrainontheWall (Oct 11, 2016)

@Bismuth Everybody is good at something. You might just not have realized your strengths yet.

Instead of trying to plan your entire future, try focusing on what you like to do NOW. It's pointless to try and plan everything. Thigs change, circumstances change, your preferences may also change. There is no guarantee that your first choice will be the right one, but that's ok. You won't know until you try something. 

Consider which subjects you liked at school, it's a start. Think about what you like to do in your free time. Perhaps you are already doing things you are good at and don't even realize it. 

You are still very young, and if you think that any choice you make now will lead to a linear career, you will be disappointed. I know people who changed degrees after realizing that it's not what they want after all. And that's ok. I know people who have college degrees and are working in something completely else. Some people study subjects they like just for themselves, for their growth. I also know people who went to college although clearly they were not cut out to study and write essays. Studying is not for everybody. It's not possible to know at the young age what you are going to be later. There are, perhaps, some people who have it all figured out, but trust me, they are a minority. Life throws you into different situations. Unrealistic expectations will just lead to disappointment.

Don't beat yourself up that you don't know what to do with life yet. And ignore people who say you're lazy. Maybe try looking for some books that can help you find your interests. Nobody can tell you what you're supposed to be in life. That's up to you to take action. You've already established you don't want to work in family business. That's already an important step. 

And remember, you are not alone with this problem! There are tons of young people struggling with finding their lives' purpose. We are overwhelmed by having too much to choose from. I would recommend not to think too much about your future job. Consider the possibilities while choosing your education, but be open to many options. And take your time with it. I know that being young and rich is being sold to people as an ideal state, but what I gathered from your posts it's not your priority. Don't make the mistake and consider other people's dreams and desires as your own.

Best of luck to you! I hope I could help a little.


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## OP (Oct 22, 2016)

Zoquaro said:


> Argh! Don't say that! >_<
> 
> You actually _got_ plans for the future and are thinking things through! That puts you miles above the majority of your peers already! I'm sure if you keep at it, you'll find something that works for you.


I hope so! I have just over a year to decide.


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