# How can an INFP have a strong presence or Charisma? Is it possible?



## Chronicles (Jun 1, 2014)

Quernus said:


> Yes. But mostly I'm just obsessed with psychology. I've been reading a lot about persuasion recently. You definitely want to be persuasive to win people over - that doesn't mean put on a show or even a facade. It just means --- believe you have something to contribute. Because you DO! It's sad to see you say that you feel you don't deserve respect. It's so upsetting when perfectly kind, intelligent, interesting people, end up feeling like this. Then the loud barkers who just like to blabber are the one people take most seriously, even if they don't say anything well-reasoned or introspective. Ugh, just look at politics. I'm not suggesting to become a politician, if that's not who you are - I'm just pointing out the importance of first impressions and perceived confidence. What's your enneagram by the way?
> 
> People consider others credible when they are perceived as: knowledgeable (in a relevant subject... which is why you should have some things that are your own, that you are an expert in, that you carry with you wherever you go) and trustworthy.
> 
> ...


Ooo! I love psychology too. I understand. It's important to win people over, and it isn't wrong to do so. Awh thank you. I know quite a few people who are quiet and people respect them. I guess it depends on how you feel about yourself. That's true. I don't know if I'd ever make it into politics xD. I'm more of a science and learning person but who knows. I don't know. Probably a 4. or a 9. More likely 4.

Aw  Honestly though, although I'm in no position to give advice, I'd say do not give a damn about what others think. You're asserting your existence, there's nothing wrong with that. If they make a cutting remark, tell them off. Within reason of course. I understand the part about being guarded. You just don't want to bother if no one else will. Also, same with the trying to be extroverted thing. It's pretty rude that they did that though. I honestly wonder why people give people looks. Like is it really necessary?

It's good that you have people who like you for you. Btw, eccentric is better roud:

I don't think I'd be allowed to go to meet ups. It would be great to meet people with the same interests though. AW thats so cute :blushed: I like those people who just see you for you. They know you're anxious but they're still with you.

I don't date. But Ha xD that's interesting. I didn't know that. I tend to be suspicious of things online but still thank you .

I will keep that last bit in mind.


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## Chronicles (Jun 1, 2014)

MuChApArAdOx said:


> I only relate to 1% of what you described here. I'm not always 100% confident, however the rest is alien to me
> 
> INFPs have a ton of Charisma, this is a you thing not an INFP thing. INFP don't want or need the kind of attention that other types need, types like ENTP or ESTP . And although we keep to ourselves we always find ourselves in the spotlight. People are drawn to me, not because they hear me speak, or because I'm loud or front and center, but because of the opposite. I mind my own business, I don't sit with the crowd, I sit away from everyone with 1 or 2 other people. Men tend to be drawn to women who don't need attention, women who can be interesting without having to be front and center. INFPs are mysterious in a lot of ways, we don't talk a lot to start with, nor do we give away parts of ourselves like most types. We keep a lot to ourselves and other types try and break through our private inner world.
> 
> ...



What you described in the first paragraph literally never happens to me. Even when I'm quiet or don't care ._..

The second one also doesn't happen or I'll attract someone who eventually ends up being a jerk.

Still those are very good points. Maybe I just need to be calmer :tongue:

True. I shouldn't attribute my traits to INFPs. However, it was just things like "Js have presence","those with Fe can be charismatic", etc. that made me think maybe Fi and Ne don't lend to that.

I'm pretty sure I'm an INFP. No other type fits. Probably just a special kind :tongue:. Could just be life experiences that make me that way.

Thank you, I will try to keep what you say in mind. Best of luck to you as well :happy:


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## wolvent42 (Jun 17, 2013)

if your a proper INFP, be yourself deeply through your personal feelings (Fi), trust yourself and be _in the moment_ with people

in comparison

INFJs do it by showing themselves to the world (Fe) and doing the other two aforementioned things


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## ENTPness (Apr 18, 2015)

ae1905 said:


> bernie sanders, stephen colbert are two examples of infps who are charismatic (in their own ways)


Bernie Sanders? An INFP? What strain of weed are you smoking bruh, I wanna try it.

Dude is straight up ENFJ. He may be a bit sloppier than the stereotypical J, but that's probably just because he's an absent-minded N and an old dude who doesn't give a shit. Otherwise he's an ENFP, but he's no introvert, that's for sure.


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## Watchtower (Aug 20, 2015)

Chronicles said:


> But just wondering, what should I do if the one person I can ask is too busy to talk to me?


Ditch them, they're obviously not your friend so why waste time and energy on someone that won't be of any help to you anyway.

If you say you're making an effort and it still doesn't work, then it might be time to change how you make an effort. Giving up doesn't take you anywhere either. So just hang in there, try different things and change approaches when they need changing.


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## bigstupidgrin (Sep 26, 2014)

You'll get there OP. I don't know if INFPs are naturally late bloomers or if it was just me, but eventually I found my confidence and a sarcastic sense of charisma.


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## upbeat (Aug 10, 2015)

If you want people to notice you, it's all about your self confidence and the conviction behind what you are saying. In my opinion at least...


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## INFPsyche (Nov 13, 2014)

I think infp's really do have a lot of natural charisma. i think what's missing is believing in yourself and seeing your thoughts through and boldly putting one foot in front of another with your eye always on 'the prize'. I think a lot of infp's would be surprised by themselves if they'd just boldly and consistently apply themselves.

You might never be a fantastic leader but i think infp's are very curious in the way that they quietly go about things. When we do things and they get done they seem magical and amazing from an outsiders eye. I think instead of waiting for others to validate you and lift you up constantly, you have to believe that you did a good job and that people are noticing and that, most of all, you need to keep going!!!..


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## TheGoddessLuna (Jun 12, 2016)

It i possible. I'm trying to be way more quiet though because I talk too much. ADHD can make an INFP talk unlike an introvert. It's not healthy as you run out of "juice" too fast and you never have time to think.


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## throughtheroses (May 25, 2016)

I suggest that you become confident with who you are and _how _you are and go from there. Not everyone can have the standard 'loud party animal' type of charisma, or the 'businessman' type, or what have you. Thankfully, I think there's hope for everyone and you shouldn't write yourself off. 

Audrey Hepburn was also an INFP, and yet she definitely had a form of charisma that draws people in even now, years and years after her death. That's because she recognized her own personality (sweet, ethereal, quiet) and totally owned it around others. Charisma comes from confidence... or faking it.  

I've been told that I'm charismatic, even though I'm an INFP. I like to think that it's because I'm comfortable with my dreamy, scatterbrained, intelligent, sensitive, happy-go-lucky self and am unapologetic about who I am. (Also, smiling at people works wonders and instantly makes you come across as more likeable.) Basically, use your natural personality to your advantage and become confident in yourself. Charisma will follow!


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## throughtheroses (May 25, 2016)

TheGoddessLuna said:


> ADHD can make an INFP talk unlike an introvert. It's not healthy as you run out of "juice" too fast and you never have time to think.


ADHD here as well, and I absolutely experience this. Well put!


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## Chronicles (Jun 1, 2014)

@upbeat

You're right. I tend to falter when saying anything. I'll work on that. That's probably what I'm lacking.

@INFPsyche

Thank you for this. I don't believe in myself enough and that's likely the cause of my problem. 

@TheGoddessLuna

Strangely I can relate to that. I don't think I have ADHD though. 
@throughtheroses

Thank you. I'll take your advice. It's the doubt talking but, what do I do if my natural self is just annoying or boring to others? I surely can't live my whole life like that.


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## throughtheroses (May 25, 2016)

@Chronicles

Your natural self will definitely be interesting to someone, I guarantee it. If someone doesn't like you, that's their loss and you're better off without them.


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## Ingrid31 (May 7, 2016)

I love this description @Rabid Seahorse. I agree inspirational will be a very word as leadership and charisma doesnt feel that right for an INFP.


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