# Do you think an ESTP is more romantically compatible with an ESFP or an INTJ?



## Zeri (Jan 23, 2018)

I think Esfps and Estps may get along well as friends, but romantically..? I wonder if they may be too alike for things to really work out. 

My ESFp female friend says that she likes attention, and that she might have to 'compete' with an Estp male. But at the same time, she and her Estp male friend get along really well and have lots of laughs together. So...I don't know....


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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)

I mesh well with both types. It would depend on other factors as well IMO


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## brightflashes (Oct 27, 2015)

Of the three listed, I think the most compatible are the ESFP and the INTJ.


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## Eu_citzen (Jan 18, 2018)

I'd say it depends on the maturity of both individuals. Either might work.


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## HIX (Aug 20, 2018)

I don't think ESFP would mesh well with either one of those types romantically. Or maybe I'm just talking about my personal preference.


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## UltimaRatio (Jan 31, 2019)

So tell @ENIGMA2019 to stop contacting me for the wedding. It's tiring...


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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)

UltimaRatio said:


> So tell @ENIGMA2019vey to stop contacting me for the wedding. It's tiring...


:laughing: But, I am dying to get married to you! *devilish grin* Or is it the other way around? 

WTF Either the pic did not load on my screen or you just preformed magic on insert....


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## UltimaRatio (Jan 31, 2019)

ENIGMA2019 said:


> :laughing: But, I am dying to get married to you! *devilish grin* Or is it the other way around?




Stop now!


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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)

You stop lol


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## Pure_White (Feb 28, 2017)

Ecchi said:


> Definitely ESFP, but neither are the best choice. I think ESFJ and ESTJ are the best.



nah. ESTJ is one of the most bossy type. SFJs are better for them.
I know many ENTP dislike ENTJ, but can be good friend with INTJ. Extrovert perceiver dont fit well with extrovert judger, unless they *share the same functions*. ESTJ have their function completely different from ESTP (Te-Si-Ne-Fi vs Se-Ti-Fe-Ni), addtional, one is extrovert judger, one is extrovert perceiver.


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## Stevester (Feb 28, 2016)

Pure_White said:


> nah. ESTJ is one of the most bossy type. SFJs are better for them.


I have to cordially disagree here.

I've seen way too many ESTP/SFJ pairings that ended in a complete trainwreck. The SFJs are by far the most likely type to fall for an ESTP's magnitude but they also always have this notion that they can tame them. And the second the ESTP feels they are being put on a leash, they act out which causes a full cycle of never ending conflict. The only way this pairing can work is if both are very mature and respectful of boundaries, but then that can be said about any relationship.

STJs however see right through the ESTPs and do not put up with their crap and I think at the end of the day.......the ESTP actually appreciates that? Definitely jarring initially, but in time they love to have someone who can read them with accuracy. When my ESTP friend tells me an anecdote, I obnoxiously fill the gaps by interrupting him with a _''And then lemme guess....you thought that....''_ and he starts blushing. And mind you he does the same thing to me. This is why I do believe in shadow attraction because it's always like the other person has your number and while it's intimidating at first, the whole _''you really know me don't ya''_ becomes attractive in the long run. 

STJs also offer structure and discipline to the ESTPs, something they sorely need. Meanwhile the ESTPs are there to set the STJs loose and remind them that it's okay to act on their desire. 

SFJs however, offer nurturing and unfortunately ESTPs (though often subconsciously) tend to use or sometimes abuse nurturing people. The whole _''I can f*ck up over and over again and they'll always have my back''_ is just one of many examples. This is why I think that SFJs match up way better with SFPs, whom the latter actually appreciates the nurturing aspect and wants to pay it back, so to speak. 


Now I don't mean to piss off any ESTPs here as I'm aware there were shades of _''ESTPs are manipulative assholes''_, it's just observations I have over 37 years.


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## SilentNote (Dec 14, 2016)

Hmm. I really don’t think sensors match well with Dom Ni users...

The sensor will be overwhelmed. The Dom Ni will always be looking elsewhere for conversations. 😫

Also ESTP and INTJ conversations will generally end up nuclear. What is valued by the ESTP is dismissed by the INTJ and vice versa.

E.g. ESTP places rank and authority highly and INTJ puts them under dog shit


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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)

SilentNote said:


> Hmm. I really don’t think sensors match well with Dom Ni users...
> 
> The sensor will be overwhelmed. The Dom Ni will always be looking elsewhere for conversations. &#55357;&#56875;
> 
> ...


Soooo off base. Good try though. IxxJ


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## SilentNote (Dec 14, 2016)

ENIGMA2019 said:


> Soooo off base. Good try though. IxxJ


Your argument is soooo well supported. I don't mind proving again how far INTJ - ESTP conversations can go though. :wink:


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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)

SilentNote said:


> Your argument is soooo well supported. I don't mind proving again how far INTJ - ESTP conversations can go though. :wink:


You missed my point. First ~you would have to be an INTJ to see how far the conversation will go *grins*

However, my "argument" would be ~there are several factors missing from this equation ~age, life experience, how developed the individuals are and type of interpersonal relationship(s).

Have you been close to a male or female ESTP? I personally am close to a few INTJs of both sexes. We have no issues carrying on and maintaining conversations. I think this is more of your individual opinion verses my personal experience. 

Our conversations are not nuclear. Not ~ that it cannot happen (any type can) but, if they do not mesh to begin with ~how are they getting to the friendship/romantic level anyway? Do you mean what is valued by the individuals? If they have shared interests, have similar values/character or hobbies they would dismiss it because of function stacking?

"ESTPs place rank and authority highly?" Hmmm "INTJ puts them under dog shit" lol

If ~ you are close to an INTJ their objective would never be to put that person under dog shit. Sometimes, they can come off as cold but, that is usually when they do not know you or have an inner turbulence going on and are looking for a remedy. They are not thinking about how their actions affect the other person/people. Self preservation generally comes into play here until; they have worked it out for their self. They may even confide in, vent or ask for help from people they TRUST. This is a very similar approach to how ESTPs would go about it.

I am not sure ESFP or INTJ would be the optimal long term romantic relationship for an ESTP. Other types of relationships for sure. But, as far as addressing what your opinion is ~ I think it could work assuming the stars align in the areas I listed above.

You and I are at an impasse. I will not be carrying on much of a conversation with you. This is not a function stack related issue. I just am not investing much of my energy conversing with anyone that could put any person (type related or not) under metaphorical dog shit. :wink:


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## SilentNote (Dec 14, 2016)

Oh I see the problem now is about dog shit. Please quote where I have put anybody under dog shit.

"them" in this case obviously refer to rank and authority - just the abstract concept under dog shit. Not the literal person carrying such traits.

Don't get me wrong. Nothing wrong about carrying rank and authority, but it just rarely makes an impression on INTJs whereas it definitely carries weight for ESTPs.

And thanks for proving my point how far ESTP - INTJ conversations go. Like 0 yards. Thanks for playing. :laughing:


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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)

*sighs* Yes, 0 yards when you take a detour from the field. Yes, you are smart~ that is the problem.... dog shit. h: I think the actual problem is a language barrier. Now, that I understand what you were trying to say ~ I think it is still wrong. ESTPs caring about rank and authority is like you really understanding sensors as a whole. You definitely have a different type of personality~ I will give you that. I am sure the people you interact with in rl want to crack your head open as much as the ones online. :wink:


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## SilentNote (Dec 14, 2016)

ENIGMA2019 said:


> *sighs* Yes, 0 yards when you take a detour from the field. Yes, you are smart~ that is the problem.... dog shit. h: I think the actual problem is a language barrier. Now, that I understand what you were trying to say ~ I think it is still wrong. ESTPs caring about rank and authority is like you really understanding sensors as a whole. You definitely have a different type of personality~ I will give you that. I am sure the people you interact with in rl want to crack your head open as much as the ones online. :wink:


Yes, it's a language barrier. If you and the INTJ can work out the language barrier, there's no reason why the relationship can't work. Good luck.


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## Pure_White (Feb 28, 2017)

Stevester said:


> I have to cordially disagree here.
> 
> I've seen way too many ESTP/SFJ pairings that ended in a complete trainwreck. The SFJs are by far the most likely type to fall for an ESTP's magnitude but they also always have this notion that they can tame them. And the second the ESTP feels they are being put on a leash, they act out which causes a full cycle of never ending conflict. The only way this pairing can work is if both are very mature and respectful of boundaries, but then that can be said about any relationship.
> 
> ...


I think ESTPs can be good friends with ISTJs as ENTPs can be good friends with INTJs. But I've never seen an ENTP can stand an ENTJ, or an ESTP vs an ESTJ. There're a huge difference between ISTJ and ESTJ, or INTJ vs ENTJ.


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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)

SilentNote said:


> Yes, it's a language barrier. If you and the INTJ can work out the language barrier, there's no reason why the relationship can't work. Good luck.


Well ~one of them is my daughter so, yes. Thanks!


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