# Why is Fe stereotyped as this?



## MilkyWay132 (Jul 15, 2010)

Now, I'm not saying this video is what people literally say Fe is like, but..when they describe it negatively, this kind of video comes to mind:






Is caring about appropiate vs. inappopriate behavior(as much as I hate to word it that way..) really Fe? And just saying, this video was made in the 1950s..things were really strict back then, it seems. So wouldn't some of this depend on the time someone grew up in? 

Furthermore, the girl cried at the end of the video. This reminds me of how Fe users are stereotyped as pushy people who force their values on people, without caring how that would make the other person feel. That's the total opposite of social skills, which confuses me further because social skills are stereotyped as a result of Fe. That is a logical inconsistency. 

But in fact, can't a Fe user become shy easier than others because they are more likely to care what other people think of them? And yet another logical inconsistency: Fe is stereotyped as a sympathetic function, making you care about others' feelings, yet the supposedly Fe using narrator made the girl cry. These logical inconsistencies seem to be the result of positive vs. negative stereotypes of the function---you can't believe both at the same time, or else they stop making sense.


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## firedell (Aug 5, 2009)

MilkyWay132 said:


> This reminds me of how Fe users are stereotyped as pushy people who force their values on people, without caring how that would make the other person feel.


This seems to me more someone dom Fi with a strong Te more than Fe. I think Fe is more open than Fi.


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## CuratorOfWeird (Jun 13, 2012)

That's not really what my Fe looks like at all. For me, Fe is caring about group values and trying to adhere to the norms of the people I'm around in order to fit in and not be a nuisance or disturbance. I can't really recall situations when I've tried to dictate what is appropriate to others because that basically goes against the main purpose of it all, which is to keep things flowing smoothly.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

firedell said:


> This seems to me more someone dom Fi with a strong Te more than Fe. I think Fe is more open than Fi.


actually, it's more like an Fi/Te user who _isn't_ dominant Fi. ExFPs, IxTJs and (especially) ExTJs can be quite pushy, but IxFPs seldom are


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## firedell (Aug 5, 2009)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> actually, it's more like an Fi/Te user who _isn't_ dominant Fi. ExFPs, IxTJs and (especially) ExTJs can be quite pushy, but IxFPs seldom are


Really? You haven't met me on a bad day.


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## Boolean11 (Jun 11, 2012)

firedell said:


> This seems to me more someone dom Fi with a strong Te more than Fe. I think Fe is more open than Fi.


No Fi isn't in objective reality, it doesn't feel the need to push its values on others but Fe and Te do. The "e" means that they are aimed at the outer world and are easily receptive to what ever is throws at them.


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## firedell (Aug 5, 2009)

Boolean11 said:


> No Fi isn't in objective reality, it doesn't feel the need to push its values on others but Fe and Te do. The "e" means that they are aimed at the outer world and are easily receptive to what ever it throws at them.


I sometimes push my values on people if I feel strong enough about them.


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## Boolean11 (Jun 11, 2012)

Panthea said:


> That's not really what my Fe looks like at all. For me, Fe is caring about group values and trying to adhere to the norms of the people I'm around in order to fit in and not be a nuisance or disturbance. I can't really recall situations when I've tried to dictate what is appropriate to others because that basically goes against the main purpose of it all, which is to keep things flowing smoothly.


Yeah, Fe does force you guys to act based on what the immediate environment throws at you isn't it? Well that goes both for the good and the bad, Hitler is now believed to be an INFJ since he used his adverse Fe against the Jews, I mean to be honest do you think that a lead thinker wouldn't have been able to come up with a reason for mass murdering a group of people? My answer is that they would though of course the argument would be a logical "fallacy" but an elaborate explanation that seems "intelligent" would have been there, had he been a lead thinker.


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## Boolean11 (Jun 11, 2012)

firedell said:


> I sometimes push my values on people if I feel strong enough about them.


But your feeling would be less affected with what is in the immediate reality isn't it? In other words Fi interprets what is sent to it via Se in your case isn't it?


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

firedell said:


> Really? You haven't met me on a bad day.


you haven't met _me_ on a bad day


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## stephiphi (Mar 30, 2012)

I was under the impression that *stereotypical Fe-users suffered from sheep mentality* and couldn't think for themselves because they were too busy thinking with the group. It is possible that outcasts or "rebels" that differed from the group would be challenged by the stereotypical Fe-user.

This video seems to straddle the Fe/Fi line for me, because in that time, likely the vast majority of people would consider a certain set of behaviors "appropriate" and the opposing set "inappropriate". If the narrator was considering that, she could be a Fe-user. However, she seems to be quite certain of herself, and I have no clue as to how often this occurs, but perhaps she feels strongly within herself that distinction between "appropriate" and "inappropriate" behavior. Thus, she may be a Fi-user.

I feel like the real question here is which cognitive function is correlated with pushiness.


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## MilkyWay132 (Jul 15, 2010)

Something I don't get..How come people complain about supposed Fe users or Te users not respecting their individuality simply by preferring the functions? If the person truly prefers that function, aren't they being themselves, not pretending to be a type they aren't? So how come said person keeps on complaining about themselves not being respected, when in the process, _they_ are getting so pissed at the _other _person for not being the type of person they would like them to be? People being different from yourself does not make them broken or deficient.


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## paper lilies (Dec 6, 2011)

stephiphi said:


> I feel like the real question here is which cognitive function is correlated with pushiness.


I don't think there is a cognitive function that's associated with "pushiness". 
Anyone can be pushy- it's just a general human thing.
Many people claim Fe and Te to be the "pushy" functions but we all have Fe or Te in us.
So, if that is in fact true, it does come out for everyone at some time.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

btw, I think Fi/Te users and FJs both tend to push their values on people (FJs just aren't as good at it hahaha)


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

paper lilies said:


> I don't think there is a cognitive function that's associated with "pushiness".
> Anyone can be pushy- it's just a general human thing.
> Many people claim Fe and Te to be the "pushy" functions but we all have Fe or Te in us.
> So, if that is in fact true, it does come out for everyone at some time.


there are loose correlations. Je functions (Te and Fe) both tend to be kinda pushy, and Se can be pretty pushy too


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## Helios (May 30, 2012)

I've come across some across pushy people in every type.


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## bromide (Nov 28, 2011)

Granted that video was weird and kind of hokey, but I think that an Fe dominant user can behave like the narrator in the video in regard to the fact that the driving point of it is one of those "what would the neighbors say?" sort of deals. Unhealthy or angry Fi seems to manifest more as manipulation, like "I want you to feel bad for making me feel bad through the use of this cold shoulder or my mopey post on fb, etc" rather than the more overt use of public shaming and peer pressure that unhealthy or angry Fe users may choose to employ. I have an INFJ friend who remarked that social graces are what separates us from the rest of the animals and I could see him being annoyed by something like dirty nails and chronic lateness such as the narrator mentioned. I, on the other hand, wouldn't care a bit about either of those things unless they were directly impacting my life.


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## ibage (May 5, 2012)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> FJs just aren't as good at it hahaha


I'll agree here. I find myself just saying "Screw it. Have it your way!" more often than I like to think I do during arguments. One of my friends is an ISFP and he's much better at doing that than I am. I usually just end up agreeing with him just so I don't offend him.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

ibage said:


> I'll agree here. I find myself just saying "Screw it. Have it your way!" more often than I like to think I do during arguments. One of my friends is an ISFP and he's much better at doing that than I am. I usually just end up agreeing with him just so I don't offend him.


I've noticed Fe types tend to respond to saying something with resolute conviction and authority more than Fi types do. if an FJ tell you "you're not supposed to do that. stop" and you look them in the eye and say frankly and bluntly "no I will _not_ stop doing that" they tend to accept "there's no changing him. that's SOM for ya"


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## CuratorOfWeird (Jun 13, 2012)

There seems to be a misconception that Fe users are weak minded or phony for adjusting to the preferences of the group they're around. I can't speak for everyone, but I'm INFJ and use my Fe to slowly reveal my parts of my personality in ways that are appropriate according to the situation and people I'm with. Of course this is an oversimplified explanation but that's basically the purpose of Fe in a supporting role for me, to temper down the Ni a bit when I'm putting it out there.


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