# Shy people are stupid



## tangosthenes (Oct 29, 2011)

I don't know if it is simply extroversion that is to blame here, but perceived confidence. There is some kind of association between intelligence and confidence, which may belie a more encompassing bias.


----------



## Raichu (Aug 24, 2012)

LeaT said:


> On a sidenote, are most of you people non-auditory when it comes to yoru learning style? Even though I'm actually quite the quiet person being extremely introverted, I'm auditory so I learn the best through communication which may seem contradictory if you understand how introverted I am.
> 
> But I have no problem speaking in class and talking to my teachers. In fact it's a requirement for me to understand the subject well, even if what they say is actually not of inherent value. I just process information so much better when it's communicated directly as opposed to text or images.


I'm not an auditory learner at all. Half the time I can't even understand people when they talk, let alone remember and learn from it. >.< But that might just be the CAPD


----------



## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

raichu said:


> I'm not an auditory learner at all. Half the time I can't even understand people when they talk, let alone remember and learn from it. >.< But that might just be the CAPD


Maybe, and my ideal form of learning would be personal tuition where I could have free control of the subject being discussed :/


----------



## Raichu (Aug 24, 2012)

LeaT said:


> Maybe, and my ideal form of learning would be personal tuition where I could have free control of the subject being discussed :/


I feel like a little kid whenever I say this, but I really do learn best playing games.  We'll be learning something for weeks, and the test is coming up and I'm like "waaahhh I'm gonna fail for sure," and then we play a review game  and suddenly it's all easy. I mean, as long as it's a good review game.


----------



## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

raichu said:


> I feel like a little kid whenever I say this, but I really do learn best playing games.  We'll be learning something for weeks, and the test is coming up and I'm like "waaahhh I'm gonna fail for sure," and then we play a review game  and suddenly it's all easy. I mean, as long as it's a good review game.


You sound a little kinaesthetic to me if you mean play game as in a physical game of sorts? Otherwise it could be a combination of something else.


----------



## DarwinsBastard (Apr 27, 2012)

LeaT said:


> On a sidenote, are most of you people non-auditory when it comes to yoru learning style? Even though I'm actually quite the quiet person being extremely introverted, I'm auditory so I learn the best through communication which may seem contradictory if you understand how introverted I am.
> 
> But I have no problem speaking in class and talking to my teachers. In fact it's a requirement for me to understand the subject well, even if what they say is actually not of inherent value. I just process information so much better when it's communicated directly as opposed to text or images.



I am the same way, I don't take notes in class because I find it too distracting, focusing on the lecture is all I need most of the time. On the flip side of all this, I have a really hard time in noisy environments, because I can't really seem to filter anything out, to the point of having misophonia.


----------



## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

DarwinsBastard said:


> I am the same way, I don't take notes in class because I find it too distracting, focusing on the lecture is all I need most of the time. On the flip side of all this, I have a really hard time in noisy environments, because I can't really seem to filter anything out, to the point of having misophonia.


I didn't know what that was but when I read it... wow, I relate a lot. I'm incredibly sensitive to sounds in particular and I consider myself a highly sensitive person even though I'm not officially diagnosed but I find a lot of those examples on the list mentioned in the wikipedia article actually descriptive of me. I can't stand people blowing their nose, it makes me cringe like hell, and I become incredibly annoyed when I hear people breathe. I can't stand children's cry, certain repetitive noises are annoying too. It's very hard for me to hear a sound without it evoking some kind of emotion.

I'm so auditory it's to the point where I describe my mental landscape as empty because it has no real content. All I ever hear is my intrapersonal voice. Most other people from what I can understand tend to think quite clearly and vividly so in images. I never could. But I can very easily reminisce and even construct sounds or combine different sounds in my mind, although combining different sounds from unrelated sources is more difficult and require more focus.

I don't know or understand how others think but even if someone says the word "lake", all I hear is the word "lake" in my mind. I just hear words. I can easily imagine sounds associated with a word though like the dripping of water, water flowing, rain etc.


----------



## dejavu (Jun 23, 2010)

I've actually found the opposite to be true. The shy introverts are often perceived as reserved, but secretly quite intelligent. It's a generalization to say that this is always true (it isn't) but those are the kids who I always saw receiving top grades in the class. The loud, outgoing kids were generally perceived as stupid.

Not saying I agree. Those are just the perspectives that I've witnessed.


----------



## Zyberjunior (Nov 8, 2012)

LeaT said:


> I didn't know what that was but when I read it... wow, I relate a lot. I'm incredibly sensitive to sounds in particular and I consider myself a highly sensitive person even though I'm not officially diagnosed but I find a lot of those examples on the list mentioned in the wikipedia article actually descriptive of me. I can't stand people blowing their nose, it makes me cringe like hell, and I become incredibly annoyed when I hear people breathe. I can't stand children's cry, certain repetitive noises are annoying too. It's very hard for me to hear a sound without it evoking some kind of emotion.
> 
> I'm so auditory it's to the point where I describe my mental landscape as empty because it has no real content. All I ever hear is my intrapersonal voice. Most other people from what I can understand tend to think quite clearly and vividly so in images. I never could. But I can very easily reminisce and even construct sounds or combine different sounds in my mind, although combining different sounds from unrelated sources is more difficult and require more focus.
> 
> I don't know or understand how others think but even if someone says the word "lake", all I hear is the word "lake" in my mind. I just hear words. I can easily imagine sounds associated with a word though like the dripping of water, water flowing, rain etc.


That's what I'm like. I really notice it when I hear somebody walking across a room 20 feet away, partly being that I walk extremely quietly which somehow makes me walk much faster. But I learn much better if people are speaking and possibly if you give examples and that sort of thing. I can't remember a story, only the gist of it, but I can remember an entire speech easily as long as it is spoken to me once and I can view it once or twice if I need. The worst sound is paper ripping. It hurts my ears so bloody much.


----------



## Raichu (Aug 24, 2012)

LeaT said:


> You sound a little kinaesthetic to me if you mean play game as in a physical game of sorts? Otherwise it could be a combination of something else.


Yeah, I'm very kinesthetic. Visual next, but even that's not very good. Mostly kinesthetic.



> I'm so auditory it's to the point where I describe my mental landscape as empty because it has no real content. All I ever hear is my intrapersonal voice. Most other people from what I can understand tend to think quite clearly and vividly so in images. I never could. But I can very easily reminisce and even construct sounds or combine different sounds in my mind, although combining different sounds from unrelated sources is more difficult and require more focus.
> 
> I don't know or understand how others think but even if someone says the word "lake", all I hear is the word "lake" in my mind. I just hear words. I can easily imagine sounds associated with a word though like the dripping of water, water flowing, rain etc.


We had this computer game where you had to navigate through a forest, and in the game the directions were just like "LLRLRRRLRLL" or something like that, for "left left right left right..." etc. So I'd move my body back and forth a little to memorize it. I remember a lot of things in terms of movement. My library card number, too. It's really long, like more than ten digits, and I actually still don't know the number, but I memorized how my finger moves on the number pad.


----------



## Raichu (Aug 24, 2012)

dejavu said:


> I've actually found the opposite to be true. The shy introverts are often perceived as reserved, but secretly quite intelligent. It's a generalization to say that this is always true (it isn't) but those are the kids who I always saw receiving top grades in the class. The loud, outgoing kids were generally perceived as stupid.
> 
> Not saying I agree. Those are just the perspectives that I've witnessed.


Being shy isn't the same as being quiet, and it has nothing to do with introversion. I think a lot of quiet introverts are seen as smart, but only if they're not also shy. Like, they're the people who rarely speak, but when they do, they speak clearly and confidently. There's a difference between someone who's too nervous to speak, and someone who just doesn't feel the need to.


----------



## dejavu (Jun 23, 2010)

raichu said:


> Being shy isn't the same as being quiet, and it has nothing to do with introversion. I think a lot of quiet introverts are seen as smart, but only if they're not also shy. Like, they're the people who rarely speak, but when they do, they speak clearly and confidently. There's a difference between someone who's too nervous to speak, and someone who just doesn't feel the need to.


I'm well aware of the difference.

What is your definition of a shy person?


----------



## Doom (Oct 25, 2010)

Down here it's kind of seen as loud and obnoxious though it varies, some people really appreciate my quiet nature while other people think I've got something to hide. I'm generally reserved more than being shy, some times I get strong anxiety attacks and I want to talk but my mind won't let me. Also I try to avoid aggressive people because I can become aggressive and I hate that side of me.

Also Raichu is the best Pokemon.


----------



## Raichu (Aug 24, 2012)

dejavu said:


> I'm well aware of the difference.
> 
> What is your definition of a shy person?


Someone who gets nervous around others, or uncomfortable, I guess? I don't know that there can be a "my definition" and a "your definition." I mean, the word "shy" is pretty straightforward. I'm confused. Am I missing something?
Google's definition is "Having or showing nervousness or timidity in the company of other people." So, yeah. That's what it means. Someone who has or shows nervousness or timidity in the company of other people. Were you thinking something different?



Doom said:


> Also Raichu is the best Pokemon.


Hell yeah he is


----------



## dejavu (Jun 23, 2010)

raichu said:


> Someone who gets nervous around others, or uncomfortable, I guess? I don't know that there can be a "my definition" and a "your definition." I mean, the word "shy" is pretty straightforward. I'm confused. Am I missing something?
> Google's definition is "Having or showing nervousness or timidity in the company of other people." So, yeah. That's what it means. Someone who has or shows nervousness or timidity in the company of other people. Were you thinking something different?


Well, when discussing something with someone, it's best to be certain that you have the same idea on what that thing means. Definitions vary more widely than you might guess.

But what I was trying to figure out was if you didn't think shyness generally equaled quietness, because that's what I was sensing from your reply. I tend to think that shyness generally includes quietness, but quietness doesn't necessarily include shyness.


----------



## Raichu (Aug 24, 2012)

dejavu said:


> Well, when discussing something with someone, it's best to be certain that you have the same idea on what that thing means. Definitions vary more widely than you might guess.
> 
> But what I was trying to figure out was if you didn't think shyness generally equaled quietness, because that's what I was sensing from your reply. I tend to think that shyness generally includes quietness, but quietness doesn't necessarily include shyness.


I actually consider myself shy, but not quiet. And I mean, I do usually talk less when I'm shy, but I'm not a quiet person in general. When I'm comfortable, I'm usually quite talkative, and even when I'm not, I _want_ to be talking. I'm just too shy to. And I do talk a lot sometimes when I'm feeling shy, I'm just really nervous doing it.


----------



## dejavu (Jun 23, 2010)

raichu said:


> I actually consider myself shy, but not quiet. And I mean, I do usually talk less when I'm shy, but I'm not a quiet person in general. When I'm comfortable, I'm usually quite talkative, and even when I'm not, I _want_ to be talking. I'm just too shy to. And I do talk a lot sometimes when I'm feeling shy, I'm just really nervous doing it.


Well, that's one of the ways you differentiate between a shy extrovert and an introvert. They're both sitting on the sidelines, but one of them wants to be there while the other is dying to be involved, but feels they can't.


----------



## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Zyberjunior said:


> That's what I'm like. I really notice it when I hear somebody walking across a room 20 feet away, partly being that I walk extremely quietly which somehow makes me walk much faster. But I learn much better if people are speaking and possibly if you give examples and that sort of thing. I can't remember a story, only the gist of it, but I can remember an entire speech easily as long as it is spoken to me once and I can view it once or twice if I need. The worst sound is paper ripping. It hurts my ears so bloody much.


Yeah, paper ripping sound is quite... displeasant. It makes me anxious to listen to it (or at least while I imagine the sound in my mind). I think schreeching sound are awful in general and if the right (wrong) kind, it literarily hurts in my body to listen to them.


----------



## Vermillion (Jan 22, 2012)

Your choice of title is rather clever. If it had been something on the grounds of "Shy people are not stupid" I'm pretty sure a lot of people would have just scrolled past. Why, I think I would have as well.

Anyway, I think this issue is primarily because society in general isn't concerned with every individual and their social awkwardness. They tend to judge you by what you display, because what consequence is it to them if you have something more? It is you who is losing out by not bringing it forth, at any rate. This is their logic.

So assertive, confident and talkative people are seen as more intelligent because they vocalize their thoughts nearly immediately. I've seen it happen countless times, and it is very frustrating. 

Quiet people may also be seen as intelligent because they put a lot of thought behind their statements, and when they do speak, they mostly do so if the fast talkers have not contributed something they had in mind already. And so their words are put on a pedestal of sorts - as though they are different from the mainstream.

Shy people have it worse though, because several shy people are ones who actually want to be one of those assertive ones, but can't muster up the courage or the drive (or whatever it is that cuts it for them) to step forward and do so.

It gets on my nerves when people say participation and active contribution are the only ways to demonstrate your knowledge and understanding. People who stand by that belief - that people are what they show - are extremely stupid, and damn, they anger me.

If society wants innovation, it's about time they start looking for it in a group of people they trample on, or they will snuff out all that lovely talent just because they never spent enough time trying to see things through a shy person's lenses.


----------



## Iridescent (Dec 30, 2011)

Hell nah. It's the opposite with me. Everyone thinks I'm deep/wise/complex. When someone once asked what type of music I tend to listen to, I replied with; Dubstep. They were completely taken aback. Like they expected me to start debating the difference in arrangement of Classical composition between the 17th and 18th centuries.

I think this is mainly based on two things:
A) I have an emo fringe/wear glasses. This makes me an INFP... Apparently.
B) My writing style (Essays/Storytelling, bar Screenwriting) is extremely theoretical. But as I've become older, I've began to realize that, more and more, I'm starting to "play" INxP. Like everything I write in class is just a forced parody of how I used to write back when I was 10. It's surprising how I can simply wing exams by throwing in some scientific words and fusing them with a bit of theatrical prose; despite the actual content of my writing being utter bullshit. Finding out that I was an ISTP (Probably) was enlightening for me, because it then began to gradually dawn on me that fantasy writing was becoming more and more tedious. So I primarily switched to screenwriting, which allows me to create plots and characters without having to constantly rely on a thesaurus to think up pretty words.

Anyway, I think that INxPs are stereotyped as misunderstood, ingenious creatives, and ISxPs as simple, experience junkies (Although I admit to spreading this stereotype in my previous posts, but only as a joke.) too often. Similar sort of thing for INxJs and ISxJs as well, the Intuitives being thought of as naturally wise, whereas the Sensors having the majority of their intelligence "explained" by the fact that they study a lot, but due to a lack of natural intelligence, they'll never reach the level of an INxJ in smarts... I mean, really? Doubt it.


----------



## Finntheirish (Jun 4, 2012)

I might be a bit biased as an introvert, though i'm not really shy, But I have always viewed shy people as the smart kids in class.


----------



## Raichu (Aug 24, 2012)

hornet said:


> This is true in the way that your dominant is very prominent as a kid. Like I was notoriously subborn with my lead Fi.
> However the auxiliary is also unmistakable early on. You can't be as one dimensional that you only use one function after you start to develop any kind of autonomy. You need at least one perceiving function and one reasoning function to operate.
> Maybe that's why babies just lie there and fiddle at random. They haven’t yet picked an auxiliary.


Oh, I know. You always have all four functions, and you're always able to use them. They're just not all developed fully yet, so you can't use them consciously or very well.
Like, even though Ni is my inferior function, I still _have_ it. I just suck at it.


----------



## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

VenusianMizu said:


> I think that's a cultural bias against shy folk in the US. In more introverted countries, shy people aren't met with so much...uh...I wanna say animosity? But that seems a little strong :/
> 
> When I went to Japan, I was just as talkative as any extroverted person back home, because people didn't overwhelm me with being loud and such. They treaded carefully and respected my space (Another reason I love that place and will be moving there ASAP).
> 
> But yeah, cultural bias. I don't understand how this culture came to this conclusion that if you're not talking, you're not good at it. We make this connection between speaking and intelligence, but the connection isn't absolute because people can mouth off a bunch of words and essentially say nothing.


I completely disagree with this as a cultural bias. Perhaps you feel that way because you don't speak up enough, but that's on you. I have no problems with shy people. Some of the smartest people I know are hesitant to speak up. A great many of them are smart because they listen more than they speak. Just because the loudmouth extraverts (like me) get all the attention does not mean that the reserved people are, or should be, considered any lesser for it.


----------



## wingcharm (Jan 2, 2012)

I am a quiet person. AFAIK, my classmates and colleagues impression of me is that I am smart... maybe smarter than I really am. And it's all related to my silent personality. It's like I'm giving them a vibe that I'm busy thinking and analyzing inside my head. Well... that's one of my colleague's comment. 

And in general, what I know is that introverts are mostly assumed as smart because of their serious aura. And extroverts are seen to be good in social skills but not always seen as smart.


----------



## Raichu (Aug 24, 2012)

wingcharm said:


> And in general, what I know is that introverts are mostly assumed as smart because of their serious aura. And extroverts are seen to be good in social skills but not always seen as smart.


Maybe that's my problem. I don't have a serious aura. When I'm quiet, I'm usually giving off a nervous/anxious/terrified/shy aura.


----------



## wingcharm (Jan 2, 2012)

raichu said:


> Maybe that's my problem. I don't have a serious aura. When I'm quiet, I'm usually giving off a nervous/anxious/terrified/shy aura.


well, me too. but it didn't stop them to think of me that way. like in my workplace, i'm seen as a nervous and quiet person especially the first few months and one colleague said,'You're so quiet and nervous. Just relax. That's the usual problem of smart people like you. Don't think too much, ok?"--- so she assumed that i'm smart because i think too much which makes me a nervous wreck at work. Try to figure that out. LOL


----------



## VenusianMizu (Sep 9, 2011)

tanstaafl28 said:


> I completely disagree with this as a cultural bias. Perhaps you feel that way because you don't speak up enough, but that's on you. I have no problems with shy people. Some of the smartest people I know are hesitant to speak up. A great many of them are smart because they listen more than they speak. Just because the loudmouth extraverts (like me) get all the attention does not mean that the reserved people are, or should be, considered any lesser for it.


Are you trying to prove something? Your reality isn't the same for everyone else. 

I mean, fine, _you_ don't think any less of shy people, but that's you; you're not the spokesperson for all not-shy folk. And just because you may not think it's an issue doesn't mean it isn't. That's what this thread is for. The shit people give me for not "speaking up enough" is far too systematic for me to think they're all isolated incidents. There's something in the general American mentality that says you're abnormal (and even up to something) if you're not advertising yourself. That's problematic. If you are part of the group that gets all of the attention, you tend to trivialize the problems those that don't get it face because you're wrapped up in said attention. 

Or you just want people to stop "complaining," and no one is obligated to do that unless you pay their bills. 

We can continue this little debate over pm if you wish, as I don't want to clog up the thread.


----------



## Tru7h (Oct 16, 2012)

I have always been outspoken in class. However, I have gotten the "when you come to school with your rifle, don't shoot me, ok?" treatment. I've always thought it to be funny. It's like I am the silent serial killer waiting to plot my next attack.


----------



## .17485 (Jan 12, 2011)

Haha this thread cool. I always used to get the 'I'm always quiet" from people too. A primary school teacher thought I had special needs because I was quiet in the class stupid bitch lol. People have also said that I am smart too. I sometimes felt I was stupid maybe because I'm not gifted at being a talker. Well I am with the aid of notes. My best presentations have been this way. My mind goes blank when put on the spot. People I've like my deep voice when speaking that can aid me when it comes to dating. I'm surprised when people I'm say smart. I like that over the years from secondary school to university, people have commented on my writing. My teachers and tutors have commented that I am a good writer. I know in the west extroverted qualities are preferred in jobs. The east has more introverted qualities. Knowing the myers briggs made me understand myself more and people. In schools from a young age, kids should be looking into it.


----------



## letsmosey (Jul 21, 2010)

I've always been frustrated with the general preference given to extroverted personalities. Especially when as an unskilled person the only jobs I was really qualified for were service jobs like in fast food or as a waitress. They always seem to want to friendly, outgoing type who can chat up all the customers, and I _suck_ at that. 
I always cringe as well when a teacher tells me that part of my mark in a class will be based on 'classroom participation' like speaking up in discussions, which I also rarely do. I mean, if I already understand the material, then why would I ask a question? And why would I put my hand up to contribute when so many others are already. A lot of the times other people get to my point first, or the teacher just plain looks over me because I don't have much in the way of presence or 'force of personality'. 

During an introduction at a new job, I told my new boss and coworkers that I 'am usually pretty quiet', and my boss actually said "Don't worry, we'll fix that."
I couldn't believe it! I wanted to tell her that it's not something that needs to be fixed, but of course I was too shy ^^'. 
I felt like I needed to change myself and force myself to be different, but I can never keep it up for long. Pretending to be extroverted is so exhausting!


----------



## Meirsho (Oct 9, 2012)

firstly I'll like to say I'm proud of you *raichu 
I'm not a shy person but when it comes to pretty girls my mouth just gos ouuuuuuhhhhhfgvdefgg 
any how their are quiet ppl and their are shy ppl.
shy are peaple that have a natural wanting to be heard but they can't for some stupid reason like being scared or afraid of what they'll think usaully they will be very loud around ppl they feel comftrable around..they need to work on it and they hopefully will fix this.
quiet ppl are naturaly quiet and one will only think they are smart if they prove it like the rest of the world. they are great.my best friend in high school was like this..they are normal just like the rest and are great for pranks*


----------



## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

VenusianMizu said:


> Are you trying to prove something? Your reality isn't the same for everyone else.
> 
> I mean, fine, _you_ don't think any less of shy people, but that's you; you're not the spokesperson for all not-shy folk. And just because you may not think it's an issue doesn't mean it isn't. That's what this thread is for. The shit people give me for not "speaking up enough" is far too systematic for me to think they're all isolated incidents. There's something in the general American mentality that says you're abnormal (and even up to something) if you're not advertising yourself. That's problematic. If you are part of the group that gets all of the attention, you tend to trivialize the problems those that don't get it face because you're wrapped up in said attention.
> 
> ...


I'm neither wrapped up in getting attention, nor concerned about your complaint. If you wish to speak up, then do so. If you wish to stop feeling persecuted for not speaking up, then do so. Whatever you choose, don't do it by feeling that there's some sort of conspiracy against you to prevent it. *YOU* are the only one conspiring.


----------



## Bast (Mar 23, 2011)

It seems like people on either end of the "talkativeness spectrum" - being very quiet or talking all the time - are stereotyped as not being intelligent. It's like people think that if you don't talk much, you have absolutely nothing going on in your head to talk about, or if you talk too much, you are too busy rambling to think about anything. Ridiculous, obviously, but that's what I believe others tend to think.


----------



## Celebok (Jun 21, 2012)

For me, it's not so much that people think I'm stupid, because they tend to assume that I'm intelligent because of my profession. What I get more often are surprised reactions when I actually have stuff to say about a topic that interests me, because they're not used to hearing me be so vocal. I've had people burst out laughing when I said something that wasn't meant to be funny, just because they were caught off guard when I broke my silence.

Also, people get surprised when I send a long e-mail or if I post a lot on Facebook or whatever. They say, "I can't believe it, it's like you're not even the same person!" 

Oh, and then people tend to assume that since I'm obviously somewhat intelligent and I do have stuff to say, that I just must have a low self-esteem, so then they say stuff like, "Don't be shy!" and "Come on, join us!" or in the middle of a group conversation they'll turn to me and ask, "What do YOU think?" as if I need some encouragement to offer my opinion.


----------



## te1389 (Dec 8, 2012)

First post but I'll just jump right in...

Reactions to my shyness have been pretty mixed. I've always been the type to listen and think before I speak, but I'll speak up if I believe 100% that my ideas will be received well. 

I've had teachers who seem to love me because they enjoy the papers I write or my few contributions in class. I've also had teachers who don't like me AT ALL. It's usually in classes where the opportunity to share your ideas is limited to "shout it out" situations (where the extroverts tend to steal the show) or where assignments are strictly about repeating what we've learned in class without much room for my own ideas. I can tell that they consider me a lazy or average/forgettable student.

As for less formal settings, its far more negative. I have a few relatives who don't seem to think I'm very bright (which is the ultimate insult for an INTP). If I overhear them talking about something at a family gathering and put my 2 cents in...you should see the looks on their faces. But then all attention is on me and its tough to concentrate on my ideas anymore :frustrating:


----------



## mn_shore (Jul 19, 2012)

I've always thought it was stereotypical that the quiet people was more intelligent, as they are not busy running their mouth and actually paying attention and doing their work. So I sorta find this surprising. Their assumption of quiet people being dumb only shows their own ignorance. Sigh/ the irony.


----------



## donkeybals (Jan 13, 2011)

I'm not sure if the person you talked to even actually assumed you were dumb, opposed to just having negative connotations to shyness. For example, someone could easily say, "well he/she might be shy, but they are really good at ______ ! "


----------



## DimentionL (Jun 23, 2012)

IxTJ (with well developed Fi) here, and I have to agree 100% that I hate the cultural bias towards extroversion. I've read Susan Cain's book Quiet and absolutely LOVED it. I honestly think every boss or anyone who doesn't get introverts should be required to read that to understand how introverts work and how they make contributions best. I guess I'm just lucky compared to some of the other posters here because I'm a very reserved person but few people have actually judged me negatively for that. I'm seen as quiet but NEVER stupid usually. It may be because I can usually accommodate when I'm actually in a conversation or when greeted and can display that I know something with relative ease. Anyone who has had contact with me or actually TALKED to me has found me rather pleasant and a hard-working or knowledgeable person. I used to have pretty horrible shyness and I still have a little even though I've overcome a large part of it. Although, I can definitively say that I get the smart guy label ALL THE TIME and it sometimes happens when I open my mouth as well. Honestly, the bigger problem is that introversion and shyness are always confused with each other and introversion always gets negative association in this culture for that reason.

@_fourtines_, I couldn't agree more on Fe users. From my experience, besides ISFJs, they tend to drive me BESERK. Its usually because many Fe users I'm around constantly try to pass off their opinions or interpretations as fact and push them onto you . ISFJs have been an exception for me as the ISFJs I know prefer not to get into arguments over these things or constantly push them.
@te1389, I can definetly relate to that. I barely ever speak in those classes but I've ALWAYS done well and most of the work I've turned in has been liked by the ppl who looked at it. The same is generally true for work I do with smaller groups. I'm much less reserved than my usual self in these instances.
@Celebok, that reminds me so much of high school. I was given the designation of being the quietest guy in my graduating class (VERY small where I went). But when friends or anyone who actually talked to me saw that, they were completely dumbstruck by that. Even my parents make note of his fact. I'm quite a chatterbox when relaxed or comfortable, or around anyone I know, but anywhere else, I'm quite reserved.


----------

