# I'm an INFJ with nobody to talk to because I'm an INFJ.



## La Belle Dame Sans Merci (Jun 20, 2011)

Can I get a "Oh, yea, I totally get that"?

I'm trying to meet other INFJ's because my life has been oddly lacking. In fact, I think I'm the only one I've ever known of.


----------



## House (Jun 18, 2011)

Lauren Gooch said:


> Can I get a "Oh, yea, I totally get that"?
> 
> I'm trying to meet other INFJ's because my life has been oddly lacking. In fact, I think I'm the only one I've ever known of.


Hi!
I'm an INTJ and my best friend is an INFJ.
Maybe you can talk to and get along with me :laughing:


----------



## La Belle Dame Sans Merci (Jun 20, 2011)

I got along with an INTJ once. It was very dramatic in true IN fashion. I loved him very much.


----------



## House (Jun 18, 2011)

Lauren Gooch said:


> I got along with an INTJ once. It was very dramatic in true IN fashion. I loved him very much.


I tend to clash with my INFJ friend. 
He has a bit of a huge ego.
It can get annoying.


----------



## La Belle Dame Sans Merci (Jun 20, 2011)

I've been told I have an ego at points. This mainly has to do with physical vanity. I'm beautiful, and pleased about it.

And I'm difficult to convince I'm wrong about things I think I'm right about. But I don't consider myself an egotistic individual. There are points at which my confidence is quite poor.


----------



## La Belle Dame Sans Merci (Jun 20, 2011)

House said:


> I tend to clash with my INFJ friend.
> He has a bit of a huge ego.
> It can get annoying.


My main difficulty with my beloved INTJ was he had feelings just as I did but he considered his thoughts much more important than his feelings. And I feel the opposite.


----------



## House (Jun 18, 2011)

Lauren Gooch said:


> I've been told I have an ego at points. This mainly has to do with physical vanity. I'm beautiful, and pleased about it.
> 
> And I'm difficult to convince I'm wrong about things I think I'm right about. But I don't consider myself an egotistic individual. There are points at which my confidence is quite poor.
> 
> My main difficulty with my beloved INTJ was he had feelings just as I did but he considered his thoughts much more important than his feelings. And I feel the opposite.


 Wow.
You sound exactly like my friend.
I tend to prove my INFJ friend wrong like most of the time, but he never admits it.
It's actually really hard for him to admit any wrong doing on his part.
And yes, I do consider logic more important than feelings.


----------



## La Belle Dame Sans Merci (Jun 20, 2011)

House said:


> Wow.
> You sound exactly like my friend.
> I tend to prove my INFJ friend wrong like most of the time, but he never admits it.
> It's actually really hard for him to admit any wrong doing on his part.
> And yes, I do consider logic more important than feelings.


I wouldn't consider the INFJ "Im Right" thing egotistic. Although its funny that it appears to come off this way to a lot of people. We literally "feel" things and since you can't logic us out of a "feeling" it makes it a lot harder to communicate with us. At least, thats my theory. I have plenty of friends who will tell you I never admit I'm wrong but this isn't true. I've done it plenty of times. Just not when they wanted me to.


----------



## House (Jun 18, 2011)

Lauren Gooch said:


> I wouldn't consider the INFJ "Im Right" thing egotistic. Although its funny that it appears to come off this way to a lot of people. We literally "feel" things and since you can't logic us out of a "feeling" it makes it a lot harder to communicate with us. At least, thats my theory. I have plenty of friends who will tell you I never admit I'm wrong but this isn't true. I've done it plenty of times. Just not when they wanted me to.


 Right right.
I gotcha.
My friend does the same too.


----------



## La Belle Dame Sans Merci (Jun 20, 2011)

House said:


> Right right.
> I gotcha.
> My friend does the same too.


Maybe he should get an account on here XD


----------



## House (Jun 18, 2011)

Lauren Gooch said:


> Maybe he should get an account on here XD


 Sounds like a good idea lol.
He was the one who introduced me to PC.
Did I mention he has ADD?


----------



## La Belle Dame Sans Merci (Jun 20, 2011)

House said:


> Sounds like a good idea lol.
> He was the one who introduced me to PC.
> Did I mention he has ADD?


Alright, pardon my science, butttt

I don't believe in ADD because the clinical definition listed in the DSM-IV basically says it is an inability to pay attention unless you find something interesting in which case you show an incredible heightened ability to pay attention. 

If ADD exist, it is a product of the unnatural habits we force on children. Biologically we are built for a hunter-gatherer lifestyle. Its no effin wonder we have a hard time sitting for seven straight hours in a classroom and everyone is fat. And I find it frustrating that the answer is to medicate the life out of children.

Personal soap box XD


----------



## House (Jun 18, 2011)

Lauren Gooch said:


> I don't believe in ADD because the clinical definition listed in the DSM-IV basically says it is an inability to pay attention unless you find something interesting in which case you show an incredible heightened ability to pay attention.


True.
That's the same thing he told me.


----------



## La Belle Dame Sans Merci (Jun 20, 2011)

House said:


> True.
> That's the same thing he told me.


Sounds like me and him need to be best buds.


----------



## La Belle Dame Sans Merci (Jun 20, 2011)

House said:


> True.
> That's the same thing he told me.


 
I'd offer to trade you for my INTJ but he left, never to return :/


----------



## House (Jun 18, 2011)

Lauren Gooch said:


> Sounds like me and him need to be best buds.


 That would be brutal!
You guys would double-team me in the way of putting me down on a daily basis :-(


----------



## House (Jun 18, 2011)

Lauren Gooch said:


> I'd offer to trade you for my INTJ but he left, never to return :/


 Aww.
Sorry to hear that.
One of my coworkers is an INFJ.
She is really cute, but she is 30, single with 2 kids, and a pathetic boyfriend :-(


----------



## La Belle Dame Sans Merci (Jun 20, 2011)

House said:


> That would be brutal!
> You guys would double-team me in the way of putting me down on a daily basis :-(


I'd like to say this isn't true but its too familiar not to be. I don't like the term put down but thats what a lot of my friends call it. I just try to be honest with people. I don't soften it enough a lot of the time. I had one friend go so far as to say I have no ability to empathize and I believe his judgment was based on this but he's apparently got no ability to see.

At any rate, if your friend is anything like me, he loves you dearly and says what he does because he wants you to hear him and benefit from it. He's just a little too lofty and dumb about it to soften the blow properly. Maybe its an INFJ problem. We love you but we have no idea how to communicate with you.


----------



## La Belle Dame Sans Merci (Jun 20, 2011)

House said:


> Aww.
> Sorry to hear that.
> One of my coworkers is an INFJ.
> She is really cute, but she is 30, single with 2 kids, and a pathetic boyfriend :-(


I kind of took INFJ's to all be as intelligent and driven as I am. Apparently thats not the case? That sounds like a shitty shitty place to be. Man, 30 and single with TWO? Thirty is too young for two kids and a divorce. Even worse if there was no marriage to begin with. You'd think after the first one she'd learn to use condoms. <--Maybe an example of classic over-honesty meant to be helpful?


----------



## House (Jun 18, 2011)

Lauren Gooch said:


> At any rate, if your friend is anything like me, he loves you dearly and says what he does because he wants you to hear him and benefit from it. He's just a little too lofty and dumb about it to soften the blow properly. Maybe its an INFJ problem. We love you but we have no idea how to communicate with you.


Yeah, he keeps trying to "fix" me.
Always trying to get me to go out more and be sociable.
I know he means well though.


----------



## House (Jun 18, 2011)

Lauren Gooch said:


> Man, 30 and single with TWO? Thirty is too young for two kids and a divorce. Even worse if there was no marriage to begin with. You'd think after the first one she'd learn to use condoms. <--Maybe an example of classic over-honesty meant to be helpful?


 LOL
She's a good person but I can tell she's emotionally troubled on the inside.
Heck, she might even have those same thoughts going through her head.


----------



## La Belle Dame Sans Merci (Jun 20, 2011)

House said:


> Yeah, he keeps trying to "fix" me.
> Always trying to get me to go out more and be sociable.
> I know he means well though.


Funny that an INFJ would try to tell someone to be sociable XD My dear INTJ was not very sociable either but he was the most self-contained person I've ever met, so dedicated to his mission. I loved him for it. He was everything I am not and cannot be and I found it beautiful beyond anyone else I've ever known.


----------



## La Belle Dame Sans Merci (Jun 20, 2011)

House said:


> LOL
> She's a good person but I can tell she's emotionally troubled on the inside.
> Heck, she might even have those same thoughts going through her head.


I'd probably be desperately compassionate if I saw her in person but from the safety of my computer I can pretty clearly say its her own damn fault and she needs to pull it together for her kids because they catch onto that sort of shit pretty fast and although they will hopefully grow up to be their own people and not too centered on their mother's flaws it is terribly easy to develop a stigma in your child without ever knowing it and having a mother who is psychologically impaired probably ups the chances significantly. How do you know the boyfriend is crappy?


----------



## Tobias Andre Andersen (Jun 18, 2011)

It's generally hard to find Introverts by just passively waiting around, so I think it's a good idea you came here.

Welcome to the board!


----------



## House (Jun 18, 2011)

Lauren Gooch said:


> Funny that an INFJ would try to tell someone to be sociable XD My dear INTJ was not very sociable either but he was the most self-contained person I've ever met, so dedicated to his mission. I loved him for it. He was everything I am not and cannot be and I found it beautiful beyond anyone else I've ever known.


 I'm not very sociable either, but I am self-contained.
I'm always planning ahead, plotting to take over the world lol.
Say, I assume you were attracted to him?


----------



## House (Jun 18, 2011)

Lauren Gooch said:


> How do you know the boyfriend is crappy?


I just say he's crappy because she's better off with me hahahah.


----------



## La Belle Dame Sans Merci (Jun 20, 2011)

House said:


> I'm not very sociable either, but I am self-contained.
> I'm always planning ahead, plotting to take over the world lol.
> Say, I assume you were attracted to him?


I love him more than I've ever loved anyone. But he left. So it isn't the focus of my life.


----------



## La Belle Dame Sans Merci (Jun 20, 2011)

House said:


> I just say he's crappy because she's better off with me hahahah.


 
You do not look thirty, or like you could use two kids. I sort of doubt she and you would be well off together given her situation. I never recommend taking on problem cases. If she can't learn to dig her way out of her own hole then no man will be able fix it for her. And friends who want to be more than friends and have self interest (no matter how hard they try not to) are as good as no friends to someone like that.


----------



## Kriash (May 5, 2011)

o.o You two seem to have quite the conversation going on- I'm just going to interrupt for a second and say:

Welcome to the forum!


----------



## House (Jun 18, 2011)

Lauren Gooch said:


> I love him more than I've ever loved anyone.


 The reason I asked is to conclude that an INTJ+INFJ can be attracted to each other.
Supposedly, INTJ+INFP is the best combination for me.
While the INFJ+ENFP would be the best combo for you.
But that doesn't mean the INTJ+INFJ can't be attracted to each other.
Interesting.
I'll be paying attention to female INFJs more often lol.
I've only met 1 INFJ in person by the way :-(


----------



## House (Jun 18, 2011)

Lauren Gooch said:


> You do not look thirty, or like you could use two kids. I sort of doubt she and you would be well off together given her situation. I never recommend taking on problem cases. If she can't learn to dig her way out of her own hole then no man will be able fix it for her. And friends who want to be more than friends and have self interest (no matter how hard they try not to) are as good as no friends to someone like that.


 Yeah I know.
I kid.
IF, she wasn't 30, or with 2 kids, or divorced, I think maybe, just maybe, things would've been different...


----------



## House (Jun 18, 2011)

Kriash said:


> o.o You two seem to have quite the conversation going on- I'm just going to interrupt for a second and say:
> 
> Welcome to the forum!


 Thanks!
Cool avatar.
Can I have it?


----------



## La Belle Dame Sans Merci (Jun 20, 2011)

House said:


> Yeah I know.
> I kid.
> IF, she wasn't 30, or with 2 kids, or divorced, I think maybe, just maybe, things would've been different...


 
You are amusing.:happy:


----------



## La Belle Dame Sans Merci (Jun 20, 2011)

House said:


> The reason I asked is to conclude that an INTJ+INFJ can be attracted to each other.
> Supposedly, INTJ+INFP is the best combination for me.
> While the INFJ+ENFP would be the best combo for you.
> But that doesn't mean the INTJ+INFJ can't be attracted to each other.
> ...


This is a very good question. I did not know about Jungian personalities until after he and I were more or less done and it is very difficult to explain what happened because he was never very open with his feelings once he decided they should be put to an end. We only kissed once but it was like fire works. Straight out of the story book romances you grow up and think don't exist. He said this kiss's fantasticness clouded his reasoning which I believe is another reason he backed off. But my point is, there was passion. On both ends. Passion like neither of us had ever seen in another person. I don't know if this is a personality type tendency or just the two of us. But we're both on our way to our own Dark Towers and we're both agressive in our pursuit, passionate in our judgements, romantic in our souls, dramatic in our decisions, and ridiculous. 

I miss him with my whole heart but I try not to dwell on it or other men's inability to make me feel what I did for him.

I will say, I found this interesting: He is INTJ and I am INFJ. INTJ are called the Scientists and INFJ are called the Protectors. He is driven in life by his need to protect the people he loves and the world. He's going to be a detective. I am a paleontologist. Which makes me a scientist of the highest caliber. So somebody upstairs screwed up. But he and I, we balanced each other.


----------



## Noble4 (Feb 1, 2011)

Don't mind me, just dropping in to say welcome to the forum. Peace out.


----------



## House (Jun 18, 2011)

Lauren Gooch said:


> You are amusing.:happy:


 Of course I am!
Now, love me woman :laughing:


----------



## House (Jun 18, 2011)

Lauren Gooch said:


> I miss him with my whole heart but I try not to dwell on it or other men's inability to make me feel what I did for him.


 Exactly.
Move on.
Dwelling on it is how you end up going crazy.



Lauren Gooch said:


> I will say, I found this interesting: He is INTJ and I am INFJ. INTJ are called the Scientists and INFJ are called the Protectors. He is driven in life by his need to protect the people he loves and the world. He's going to be a detective. I am a paleontologist. Which makes me a scientist of the highest caliber. So somebody upstairs screwed up. But he and I, we balanced each other.


There are many doctors out there who will say that the INTJ goes with the ESFP, or that the ESTJ goes best with the INTP.
But I think it all comes down to preference.
And nobody can say a INTJ+INFJ match is impossible, because then that would be stereotyping/generalizing and that wouldn't be fair.
Kinda like saying the rich man can't marry the poor woman because she's below him.
Or the white woman can't marry the black man simply because he's black.
That's ridiculous.


----------



## La Belle Dame Sans Merci (Jun 20, 2011)

House said:


> Of course I am!
> Now, love me woman :laughing:


Love you? What if I'm 35 and weight 250 lbs..? What if I'm not, in fact, a woman at all? 

Ah, men.


----------



## La Belle Dame Sans Merci (Jun 20, 2011)

House said:


> Exactly.
> Move on.
> Dwelling on it is how you end up going crazy.
> 
> ...


 
It took me a long time to move on but I'm working on it. I don't know anything about what matches are supposed to work but I know I like responsible, white knight, subborn, strong-minded, bad-joke making, difficult, dramatic, passionate about justice sort of men, and to my knowledge, he is the only one who exists XD Are INTJ and INFJ supposed to be a bad match?


----------



## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

*Welcome to the forum :happy:*


----------

