# Ladies: How many men actually care if you cum?



## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

So with the women that I have been with, most are practically blown away by how much I really care if they achieve orgasm; with sex I give them as much foreplay as they want and will do practically anything they want in order to make them cum. Women are mesmerized by this and they tell me that most men just stick in and don't give a damn if they cum. So ladies, I pose a question......

What percentage of men actually give a damn if you cum or not?


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## Eerie (Feb 9, 2011)

My boyfriend has made me feel like if I had one more, I might actually die. This certainly isn't an issue for me. 

*smiles*

But in the past, it seemed like the men learned their skills by watching cheap porn, oral for two seconds, then pump pump squirt. It's sad, but I think those men really think they are giving their girls orgasms, when they are not.


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## viva (Aug 13, 2010)

My past lovers have mainly not given a shit, including my ex, who I dated for two years. I didn't have an orgasm via his doing until a _year_ into that relationship. Not really sure why I didn't see it as more of an issue-- I guess I thought it was normal / acceptable for guys to not care that much.

My current SO puts my satisfaction at the same priority as his own, and it's quite amazing.


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## Monte (Feb 17, 2010)

It's pretty fifty-fifty, although half of the ones who do "care", I think it's only because it makes them feel better about themselves.


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## AussieChick (Dec 27, 2010)

My SO likes to make me come at least three times before he even enters me.As @vivacissimamente said there are guys who don't give a shit,and i've had a few in my time.My SO is so great at pleasing me that I have even been able to have vaginal orgasms frequently which amazes him.He is the only one of my lovers to ever do that to me.


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## Kr3m1in (Jan 16, 2011)

No man cares if I cum. That is all.


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## Athena (Apr 10, 2010)

I've had a couple in my way past casually ask if I came, as if it were an afterthought, lol. My ex thought he cared, but early on in our marriage I learned that he was way too sensitive to really listen when I wanted to have discussions about what does and doesn't do it for me. He got hurt & moody. I just kept my mouth shut after that, which was stupid, looking back.


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## Monte (Feb 17, 2010)

Kr3m1in said:


> No man cares if I cum. That is all.


 I got you, boo. ;l


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## Kr3m1in (Jan 16, 2011)

@Monte

Aye thanks shawty.. knew I could count on you to _CARE_ ;P
And um..right back at ya


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## Manhattan (Jul 13, 2011)

I care. If I was the only one enjoying sex, it would be a very awkward experience for me.


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## LotusBlossom (Apr 2, 2011)

The minute a guy starts being anxious and judges his performance/worth in bed by his ability to make me cum is the minute that my ability to orgasm with that guy dies.

For me, orgasm is more of a mental thing than physical, and the thought of having to meet a certain expectation to please somebody puts a pressure on me, which totally kills the enjoyment.


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## Vaan (Dec 19, 2010)

The main reason i'm willing to do sexual stuff at all is purely for their pleasure :/. But honestly the guy would have to be the worlds biggest tool to not care -_-


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## Seamaid (Aug 31, 2009)

INFJ men are starting to look better and better... 

Is this sort of thing type-related at all?

From my experience, my current who is an ISTP, has to be reminded that I ought to have an O too. I think it has to do with him being a) efficient, and b) not being very good at putting himself in other people's shoes... Plus, he definitely learned what 'sex' was from porn school. 

If I don't indicate in some way that I want to have mine, he'll roll over and go to sleep after he's done. Not very romantic, but ah well, it teaches me to communicate more clearly and go after what I want. He does comply, but I would to say I could use a bit more enthusiasm on his end.


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## anotherjenny (Mar 3, 2011)

Kayness said:


> The minute a guy starts being anxious and judges his performance/worth in bed by his ability to make me cum is the minute that my ability to orgasm with that guy dies.
> 
> For me, orgasm is more of a mental thing than physical, and the thought of having to meet a certain expectation to please somebody puts a pressure on me, which totally kills the enjoyment.


YES. When some guy starts off being like "Oh man, I'm gonna make you cum so hard, girl," I actually get nervous, because if I don't, then he'll feel bad, and then _I'll_ feel bad... and yeah.

It takes me a long time to get comfortable enough with a guy that they can get me to cum. And if they treat it like the ultimate goal of our intimacy (which it really shouldn't be) then it definitely turns me off. 

It's not something I want to achieve... like, if you have to try that hard, then it's not worth it. Hell, I actually had a guy tell me before, "Actually, I think you came, it was just very long in duration and not very hard." I remember rolling my eyes into the half-darkness and wanting to knee him in the face. I think I know when I'm cumming, you fucking chodemunch. I do it with my own fingers 5 or 6 times a day and cum every time.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Seamaid said:


> Is this sort of thing type-related at all?


No. Not at all and I wish people wouldn't try to make that correlation.


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## heartturnedtoporcelain (Apr 9, 2010)

Some guys don't care ...? That's so strange. It just seems like something you should obviously think/care about when having sex: did the other person enjoy it?


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## heartturnedtoporcelain (Apr 9, 2010)

anotherjenny said:


> It's not something I want to achieve... like, if you have to try that hard, then it's not worth it. Hell, I actually had a guy tell me before, "Actually, I think you came, it was just very long in duration and not very hard." I remember rolling my eyes into the half-darkness and wanting to knee him in the face. I think I know when I'm cumming, you fucking chodemunch. I do it with my own fingers 5 or 6 times a day and cum every time.


hahahaha - he had the _balls_ to tell you that you didn't know when you orgasmed. what a dick.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

It's sad how many women aren't properly taken care of.


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## yaintj (Dec 17, 2010)

I care alot, but you know, INTJs are all privately perverts...


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## lirulin (Apr 16, 2010)

I thought it went on the score card.... *shrug*


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

I've never had sex, but I would see it as a failure to please my hypothetical girlfriend if she did not achieve orgasm, especially as I would have done due to men being able to achieve orgasm more easily through physical means.


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## killerB (Jan 14, 2010)

Kr3m1in said:


> No man cares if I cum. That is all.


 

Me either! LMAO :laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing:


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## Elsewhere1 (Mar 22, 2011)

Surprisingly more than I would have ever imagined.................. my husband is always very eager to please!!!


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Kr3m1in said:


> No man cares if I cum. That is all.


If they do, get a restraining order.


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## halah (Dec 20, 2009)

Runvardh said:


> Were you guys having sex semi-annually (once every 6 months)? That's about the only excuse I could think of for such ignorance outside of just being a dick...


I'd say once a week or two. Yeah, I learnt that he was/still is a dick.

Pornography served me well.


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## AussieChick (Dec 27, 2010)

halah said:


> I'd say once a week or two. Yeah, I learnt that he was/still is a dick.
> 
> Pornography served me well.


Your ex husband sounds llike my estranged one,he still won't agree to a divorce after 10 years of separation.It doesn't help that I am an ISFJ and don't adapt to change very well.Now that I have met the love of my life I want to piss him off quick smart.
You are welcome to PM me if you want to compare horror stories.:laughing:


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## ficsci (May 4, 2011)

Runvardh said:


> Hmm, I'm almost more interested in how many guys listen. Watching the movements and hearing the sounds of a woman properly tormented is almost more fun than when she goes off. What I'd really like to work out how to do is dangle her on that edge just before, not letting her go until *I* allow it.
> 
> Edit: Does that make me a Dom or sadistic?


Hey, that's what I wish I can do to a guy! :/


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## Sali (Feb 9, 2011)

To an extent I care if women cum, but the thing is; an expectation puts a lot of pressure on women. Many women *CAN'T* cum with vaginal penetration and never have. Just because it's easy for you to have an orgasm doesn't mean it is for all women all women are very different in this regard. I'd like for the woman I'm with to feel the best she possibly can within her own capabilities.


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## Blanco (Dec 23, 2010)

I don't know how guys can stick it in and be done in 5 min... that sounds pretty boring. Why not just jerkoff instead? 

I expect a lot of touching and foreplay out of sex.


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## ficsci (May 4, 2011)

^ or the physical/mental/emotional presence and actions of others

it's such an underrated thing (.___.)


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## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

Blanco said:


> I don't know how guys can stick it in and be done in 5 min... that sounds pretty boring. Why not just jerkoff instead?
> 
> I expect a lot of touching and foreplay out of sex.


This.

Only, I end up _loathing _touching and foreplay one I reach a "certain point".
At that stage, I get a little.... _less civilised_.....


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## n2freedom (Jun 2, 2011)

MissJordan said:


> This.
> 
> Only, I end up _loathing _touching and foreplay one I reach a "certain point".
> At that stage, I get a little.... _less civilised_.....


LOL! Shameful! LMAO! And, I bet I can just imagine what that "certain point" is too. *laughs hysterically*


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## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

n2freedom said:


> LOL! Shameful! LMAO! And, I bet I can just imagine what that "certain point" is too. *laughs hysterically*


Since you like 5s so much, I feel it would be a good point to highlight that indicating you were imagining them having sex is generally a 'no-no'....


But I'd enthusiastically go down on a girl.
It's just I can't take the 'teasing' of it for long.

It's like... _The worst form of torture_....


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## n2freedom (Jun 2, 2011)

MissJordan said:


> Since you like 5s so much, I feel it would be a good point to highlight that indicating you were imagining them having sex is generally a 'no-no'....
> 
> 
> But I'd enthusiastically go down on a girl.
> ...


*bites tongue* LMAO!


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## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

n2freedom said:


> *bites tongue* LMAO!


If you love 5s, and I'm a pretty typical 5...

Then me talking about sex would....

...It would.....

*What have I done....?*


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## n2freedom (Jun 2, 2011)

MissJordan said:


> If you love 5s, and I'm a pretty typical 5...
> 
> Then me talking about sex would....
> 
> ...


Not nice to taunt and tease a horny woman!!! LMAO!


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## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

n2freedom said:


> Not nice to taunt and tease a horny woman!!! LMAO!


I don't think it'd work between us.

You're from America and an ENFP.
And_ I'm _now fearing for my life....


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## n2freedom (Jun 2, 2011)

MissJordan said:


> I don't think it'd work between us.
> 
> You're from America and an ENFP.
> And_ I'm _now fearing for my life....


I agree. Not to mention I would be robbing the cradle. And, what does ENFP have to do with it exactly?


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## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

n2freedom said:


> I agree. Not to mention I would be robbing the cradle. And, what does ENFP have to do with it exactly?


Nothing at all, it was just added for comedic timing.

And yes, I actually _do _process the crappy jokes I post.


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## Nomenclature (Aug 9, 2009)

Athena said:


> I've had a couple [men] in my way past casually ask if I came, as if it were an afterthought, lol.


SMH if he's inattentive enough to ask that, I'd assume he's not attentive enough to make her cum.



Blanco said:


> I don't know how guys can stick it in and be done in 5 min... that sounds pretty boring. Why not just jerkoff instead?


 Exactly! Penetration alone is just kinda "Mmmm, ohhhh..." if the guy's really selfish in bed. At that point, it's just like... if you want a warm sleeve to put your dick in, get a pie.


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## Peacock (Mar 11, 2011)

My boyfriend makes sure I cum at least three times during sex. I can't imagine having an orgasmless relationship.


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## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

if a woman is also wet it makes the slip and slide portion of love making quite enjoyable for a guy, but those heavy squirters god almighty that can be an unpleasant surprise or the best thing you'll ever find in life.


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## SassyPJs24 (Jan 27, 2010)

I've never been with someone I didn't cum at all with... I've cum 8 or 9 times during sex before. It may be a matter of how easily you cum, what gets you off, etc. I guess I'm just easily aroused? Or maybe I've just gotten lucky.


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## Darien Kirst (Sep 15, 2011)

The man i'm dating now is the only dude who's ever maade me cumm and it's totally rad. I've had some dudes who'd cum so quick I never even got to process the pleasure in my head and then I've had dudes so small it barely tickled, but I'm happy to say this current guy is slammin'. He'll actually ask me, "Hey, babe, this feel good" and it always totally does; best of all, he waits until I at least cum once till he does. Sometimes the problem is he tires me out and I'm like, "JUST FUCKING CUM ALREADY". aha...i'm soo holding on to this one<3


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

vivacissimamente said:


> Thank god the internet exists so that random men can offer to place their tongues on strangers' vaginas


Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. I'm glad we're on the same page.


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

@Siren

I have 2 questions for you and all of the other ladies of the forum: 

I've noticed that a lot of you on this forum have expressed that if you feel that a guy is "pressuring" you to cum that it is a turn off and a lot times it prevents you from doing it in the first place. However how does one let a woman know that he really wants a girl to cum, but yet not make her feel "pressured to do it? Personally, I have a strategy and I would like the ladies of this forum to critique it....

When, I am with a new girl, I will usually have a preliminary talk about sex, and I will ask her what turns her on and what makes her come. Then, I try to incorporate as much of that in the bedroom as I can. I really do my best to make her cum. However, what makes me different from the rest is that I will usually give her a shitload of foreplay, and I won't rush her to cum. I won't say shit like, "DAMN IT, YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG! HURRY UP!" No, instead I will just whisper sexy things in her ear, and tell her to take as long as she wants, and it doesn't matter to me. 

2. Do you think that sex is as an emotional thing for thinking women as it is for feeling women?


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## Autumn Raven (Jun 28, 2011)

Of the partners I've had,
only one showed any concern, and even that seemed insincere.
It was always an impatient, "Are you gonna cum? Are you gonna cum for me?"... Which put me under quite a bit of pressure, and stress is no help in achieving orgasm.

Premature ejaculation is a real bitch.

So far, I've only had them on my own- clitoral, vaginal, and blended- So I know that I am very capable of getting there.
It is frustrating, though I am truly not all that demanding. I avoid becoming upset about it since I do not know what's it like to have a pp, but I think it is my turn...


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

Autumn Raven said:


> Of the partners I've had,
> only one showed any concern, and even that seemed insincere.
> It was always an impatient, "Are you gonna cum? Are you gonna cum for me?"... Which put me under quite a bit of pressure, and stress is no help in achieving orgasm.
> 
> ...


So let's take a different scenario like the one I mentioned above. Let's say you were with a guy and he expressed deep concern for your sexual needs and expressed that he wanted you to cum. Then, let's say that individual told you that he would do whatever it took for you to cum, and that you could take as long as you want, so don't be in a rush. Would that be better? Do you think you could cum then?


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## Autumn Raven (Jun 28, 2011)

The Great One said:


> @Siren
> 
> I have 2 questions for you and all of the other ladies of the forum:
> 
> ...


1: How should he let me know that he wants me to cum? 
Effort, above all, will be most effective in making that known. If I see that you aren't just in it for you, it's a big plus.
I would recommend mentioning beforehand or during foreplay- "I can't wait to make you cum".

2:I, personally, think it depends on the woman.
I am a feeling type, and can speak only for myself.
Sex is emotional for me, yes, but I am not an I-have-to-be-in-love-with-you type.


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## Autumn Raven (Jun 28, 2011)

The Great One said:


> So let's take a different scenario like the one I mentioned above. Let's say you were with a guy and he expressed deep concern for your sexual needs and expressed that he wanted you to cum. Then, let's say that individual told you that he would do whatever it took for you to cum, and that you could take as long as you want, so don't be in a rush. Would that be better? Do you think you could cum then?


With adequate time to explore, yes.


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

Autumn Raven said:


> 1: How should he let me know that he wants me to cum?
> *Effort, above all, will be most effective in making that known. If I see that you aren't just in it for you, it's a big plus.
> I would recommend mentioning beforehand or during foreplay- "I can't wait to make you cum".*
> 
> ...


Again, I always do that and I often ask a girl what turns her on in bed. I let it be known that I am a very unselfish lover, and greatly care about her pleasure. When I say this, the reactions that I see on women's faces are hilarious. They give me the same reaction that a person would give, if some random person just came up and put a hundred dollar bill in their hand for no damn reason at all. Women usually love this about me, because apparently it's so damn rare.

Also, how can I make sex appeal more to a girl's emotions?: Tell her how good she is in bed, and how beautiful that she is?


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## Autumn Raven (Jun 28, 2011)

The Great One said:


> Again, I always do that and I often ask a girl what turns her on in bed. I let it be known that I am a very unselfish lover, and greatly care about her pleasure. When I say this, the reactions that I see on women's faces are hilarious. They give me the same reaction that a person would give, if some random person just came up and put a hundred dollar bill in their hand for no damn reason at all. Women usually love this about me, because apparently it's so damn rare.
> 
> Also, how can I make sex appeal more to a girl's emotions?: Tell her how good she is in bed, and how beautiful that she is?


My best advice is to remind her frequently of your admiration. I could drown happily in a sea of that shit. If she's an INFP, like me, she'll cream.
The spontaneous compliments warm me the most. I don't like to fish for them. If you're thinking it, or feeling it- say it. 

Appealing to my emotions requires nothing specific. Compatibility, companionship, and a sincere approach help me to feel more connected to a person.


Sorry if I haven't answered your question. I tend to ramble. (I'm sure you know).


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

Autumn Raven said:


> My best advice is to remind her frequently of your admiration. I could drown happily in a sea of that shit. If she's an INFP, like me, she'll cream.
> The spontaneous compliments warm me the most. I don't like to fish for them. If you're thinking it, or feeling it- say it.
> 
> Appealing to my emotions requires nothing specific. Compatibility, companionship, and a sincere approach help me to feel more connected to a person.
> ...


No, I know exactly what you mean. I've been getting a certain INFP off recently through phone sex through using just that method. It works well on feelers in general. They seem to especially like it if you compliment their body or their sexual technique. I don't think that this would work as well for thinkers though.


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## Neon Knight (Aug 11, 2010)

The Great One said:


> I have 2 questions for ... all of the other ladies of the forum:
> 
> I've noticed that a lot of you on this forum have expressed that if you feel that a guy is "pressuring" you to cum that it is a turn off and a lot times it prevents you from doing it in the first place. However how does one let a woman know that he really wants a girl to cum, but yet not make her feel "pressured to do it? Personally, I have a strategy and I would like the ladies of this forum to critique it....


Cause it's true. There's nothing more annoying than a guy asking all the way through "are you cumming yet?" where my first thought is "are you sure you've done this before...?" Relax and enjoy!!!

This one's easy. Don't say anything, just do it.



The Great One said:


> When, I am with a new girl, I will usually have a preliminary talk about sex, and I will ask her what turns her on and what makes her come. Then, I try to incorporate as much of that in the bedroom as I can. I really do my best to make her cum. However, what makes me different from the rest is that I will usually give her a shitload of foreplay, and I won't rush her to cum. I won't say shit like, "DAMN IT, YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG! HURRY UP!" No, instead I will just whisper sexy things in her ear, and tell her to take as long as she wants, and it doesn't matter to me.


At least you give a shit, although I'm surprised at just how many men actually do care, although it often more as a check on their own performance. Unless they're the weepy sort of feely guy who cries afterwards... :\ Seriously, don't do that. Don't focus on what you're doing so much as listen to and watch for the signs of enjoyment at different things you do. Plus the feedback is awesome! And if she wants to jam something up your ass, dammit let her! XD j/k. Well, not really...sort of...
:blushed:



The Great One said:


> 2. Do you think that sex is as an emotional thing for thinking women as it is for feeling women?


It's not an emotional thing for everyone, feeling or thinking. I'm supposed to be feeling and the furthest thing away from my mind is anything emotional 99% of the time.


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

@KuRoMi

So a better idea would be to try to get an idea of what she likes before hand and just ask her to be very vocal about what she wants during sex. In other words, just let the girl enjoy herself and don't treat sex as though it's a "military mission to make her cum". 

Also, you have no emotional connection to sex? It is purely physical for you? That's interesting.


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## Siren (Jun 25, 2011)

The Great One said:


> Siren
> 
> I have 2 questions for you and all of the other ladies of the forum:
> O
> ...


I like a lot of foreplay and for things to be at sort of a slow pace in order to feel comfortable enough to cum. Take direction and don't rush.

As for the second question, I need to have an emotional connection to my partner but sex isn't about the emotions themselves, if that makes sense.


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

Siren said:


> I like a lot of foreplay and for things to be at sort of a slow pace in order to feel comfortable enough to cum. Take direction and don't rush.
> 
> As for the second question, I need to have an emotional connection to my partner but sex isn't about the emotions themselves, if that makes sense.


But, would you have to be in love with that individual or be in a serious relationship with that individual to feel that emotional connection or could that person create the same mood with kind words, compliments, and making you feel special?


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## Master Mind (Aug 15, 2011)

KuRoMi said:


> There's nothing more annoying than a guy asking all the way through "are you cumming yet?" where my first thought is "are you sure you've done this before...?" Relax and enjoy!!!


This. I've never understood why some people are in such a hurry to "get to the finish line." Sex is not like a race, that should be finished as quickly as possible.


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

Master Mind said:


> This. I've never understood why some people are in such a hurry to "get to the finish line." Sex is not like a race, that should be done as quickly as possible.


Well, that's no problem for me. I always take things nice and slow.


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## crazyeddie (Oct 19, 2011)

Eerie said:


> But in the past, it seemed like the men learned their skills by watching cheap porn.


Sadly, yes. This is one of many reasons why feminists need to stop criticizing porn and start writing *reviews* of it. (There is such a beast as The Feminist Porn Awards.... and they don't list the winners on their website... :/)


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## Solrac026 (Mar 6, 2012)

My perception of the whole situation is that most men do care, but

1. When women are asked what they like, some don't know or don't want to tell men

2. Some women don't liked being asked about how to get them off

3. When women are asked, some of them say that it's not important if they cum.

It's no wonder that after a while, a man just stops caring. If women don't helps us help them, then it gets really difficult to make it happen.


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## cynthiareza (Feb 26, 2012)

I have experienced about half and half, as we can see from the response to this thread there are plenty of guys out there who want to make their woman happy. if your in a relationship and your not being satisfied, move on and find one of these guys who know whats up!


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## goldaline (Mar 24, 2012)

good for you guys!! a sensitive lover is a beautiful thing. i always go the extra mile to really please my lovers, and always expected the same in return. i suppose my first sexual relationship spoiled me, he was very attentive and eager, despite our inexperience. any lover since that hasn't shown interest in my orgasms or preferences got shown the door immediately. fleshlights are cheaper than girlfriends anyway.  and yes, many women are NOT used to that special attention or blunt communication... and maybe haven't had opportunity to figure out what they like. take it nice and easy, and you'll be her first REAL lover. there's nothing more charming and invigorating in bed than a man who can foreplay until you come and then make love to you. perfection.


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

@KuRoMi



> Yeah, I kind of remembered that after I posted but it's a lot harder to fake the real genuine physical part of the orgasm, bodily quivering and stuff like that much more than just the verbiage and other signs you can see or hear (which can be sometimes ignorable).


Yeah, maybe I need to learn to pay more attention to body language.


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## DMack (Aug 16, 2011)

I guess I'm shocked that so many men get away without caring. I need to get my divorce over and get out on the market, looks like there's a lot of clean up to be done for my gender's reputation.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

Any man who wants to have sex with me on regular basis.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

DMack said:


> I guess I'm shocked that so many men get away without caring. I need to get my divorce over and get out on the market, looks like there's a lot of clean up to be done for my gender's reputation.


The way our biological sex has acted, it's going to take a few billion years to clean up our reputation.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

DMack said:


> I guess I'm shocked that so many men get away without caring. I need to get my divorce over and get out on the market, looks like there's a lot of clean up to be done for my gender's reputation.


Me too! 

I feel like I've been spoiled. My first real boyfriend was an ESFP, and he was totally competent at foreplay by the age of 16. I don't know how many girls he made out with before he met me (I probably didn't want to know at the time) but he knew exactly how to turn me on and give me pleasure, though he still had that problem that young boys do sometimes of not knowing what to do once they "get in." LOL. I didn't know either, and I liked everything else...and that's why I gave in, in the first place. We dated for most of my high school experience - you know, on and off.

I'm not saying I've ever been with a selfish dude. I totally have, but I don't put up with it. I don't know why anyone would.

But that's my personality, anyway. "Fourtines doesn't take any shit," my mom says. That's right.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

Solrac026 said:


> My perception of the whole situation is that most men do care, but
> 
> 1. When women are asked what they like, some don't know or don't want to tell men
> 
> ...


I agree that some women are uptight, don't know what they want, or maybe even aren't interested in sex in the first place. 

I agree that sometimes women don't know their own bodies, are self-conscious during sex, don't even know how to make themselves have an orgasm, etc.

I also know that some women don't care to do what their partner wants, anyway. I mean some women don't like going down on guys, and I'm sure that there's quite a few that would not honor a request for prostate stimulation....just for example.

I do hold women accountable, to a degree, for their own frigidity and selfishness. But some women JUST DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER...or they are really scared to stand up for themselves in any context, let alone ask for what they want during sex, and that is a social problem.

We need to raise our boys to be more sensitive and our girls to be more assertive. Problem solved.


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## sleepyhead (Nov 14, 2011)

My experience of a fair number of men is overall they do care. The ones who don't are a deal breaker. I think my boyfriend wants to see if he can beat a personal record or something.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

fourtines said:


> I agree that some women are uptight, don't know what they want, or maybe even aren't interested in sex in the first place.


So? Women have the choice to be, without society or anyone else forcing their sex obsession onto them.



> I agree that sometimes women don't know their own bodies, are self-conscious during sex, don't even know how to make themselves have an orgasm, etc.
> 
> I also know that some women don't care to do what their partner wants, anyway. I mean some women don't like going down on guys, and I'm sure that there's quite a few that would not honor a request for prostate stimulation....just for example.
> 
> ...


You say it's a social problem, but it also sounds like you're blaming women.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

snail said:


> Of the people I have had sex with, about 40% were interested in making sure I enjoyed the experience, while the other 60% were indifferent about my pleasure.
> 
> Sometimes it can be irritating for a man to be overly concerned about giving me an orgasm, just as it can be irritating for him not to care about my feelings at all. I prefer some kind of balance, where the orgasm is not the main focus, but where the partner does not ignore my likes and dislikes when I tell him, "I find this position uncomfortable," or "I'd really like it if you did [this pleasurable thing]." Feeling ignored doesn't turn me on, *but at the other extreme, neither does feeling pressured,* like I have to secretly fantasize about disturbing things in order to make myself have an orgasm faster so I can boost my partner's ego, even when I'm not in the mood for that sort of thing.


Agreed, I don't want to be with some dude who is the other extreme, either, it would weird me out and come across to me as "topping from the bottom" ...basically the man acting submissive, but trying to "take control" by being submissive, I don't know I can't get into that, but it's just my personal tastes.

One time, I was with this guy who tried to make me squirt. I don't squirt. Not all women do, and some doctors argue that squirting is just a tiny bit of urine that was left in the urinary tract, anyway. ANYWAY, I can have multiple orgasms and I don't squirt. I've even read about how to do it, and I just don't do it. Well, anyway, this guy was trying to force me to do it, basically, and it was to the point it didn't even feel good, I mean seriously I wanted to break his fucking hand. I was like "I don't squirt." Damn freak. I felt like he was doing it for his own ego or fetish anyway.


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## RepairmanMan Man (Jan 21, 2012)

To answer the original question, in my own pathetic lack of experience in sexual matters, it's been exactly 50-50.

The guy who _insisted _I cum put so much pressure on me that I couldn't even enjoy the experience at all, I felt like crap for not being "receptive" enough and he felt like crap for not being "good" enough. The other ways I enjoyed the experience I guess weren't good enough to someone who thinks the orgasm is the be-all end-all of it. I don't think there should be a fixation on it.

The other guy didn't care at all; pretty sure he was just in it for his own pleasure and to tell all his friends he slept with a white woman (this was in China). I must say, though, it was far more enjoyable with him.

Anyway, that's hardly scientific, but it_ is_ my two cents.


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## cityofcircuits (Nov 8, 2010)

skycloud86 said:


> What is the point of this post?


oh...i don't know....all of this arguing and what not. i thought i would add some levity and humor to the mix for fun. but it seems my attempts were wasted as no one got them.

I suppose i'll actually comment on this thread to be legit. uhhhhh, do men care? well, i do. i believe in you get what you give, so if i give my all, my unselfish all for her fulfillment before me, i know that my finale' will be july 4th fireworks night. and women appreciate it when you think of their needs first, even in bed.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

cityofcircuits said:


> oh...i don't know....all of this arguing and what not. i thought i would add some levity and humor to the mix for fun. but it seems my attempts were wasted as no one got them


I would say so. I don't understand what there was to get.


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## cityofcircuits (Nov 8, 2010)

This may be off topic but i realized something due to reading/spying on this thread for awhile.

Considering my nature to be Shy and reserved, i would probably be great fun for an experienced sexually aware female, because she would gladly show me the ways of the force-----of sex. Yet, i wouldn't resist, i would love it, cuz' to be honest, as shy as i am, i love new things and adventures and i have the curiousity of a cat. So despite my initial feelings, I couldn't help myself to explore. Maybe i need to find someone to show me the way. lol. I would be teachable to say the least in what she wanted from me. Does that make sense? (btw, i'm not a noob to things. i was married once, and she was my first, and she was content with 'normal' things so i don't even know half of what's out there. well, maybe i'm a noob to some things. haha.)


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## Clarity (Jan 11, 2012)

Eerie said:


> My boyfriend has made me feel like if I had one more, I might actually die.


Awesome! yeah this is the way to do it! I keep going until she grabs me and throws me out the window! :shocked:

I like to peak her and peak her and peak her and peak her and peak her and peak her and peak her, and then GO HARD and see if can get six in a row!! BOOOOOM!!!! :tongue:


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## Cetanu (Jan 20, 2012)

If I didn't make a girl cum during sex I would flag myself as incompetent in the area of sex.

_I do not like incompetency._

Hence I have never had sex where my partner has not achieved orgasm.

With a girlfriend I was going out with for about 2 years a while ago, she had 17(So she says) orgasms on one occasion. I think she was just overly sensitive or we had good sexual chemistry. I don't go around making girls cum 15+ times every single time. I would probably get more sex if I did. Maybe.


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## Master Mind (Aug 15, 2011)

Vasili Syrakis said:


> If I didn't make a girl cum during sex I would flag myself as incompetent in the area of sex.
> 
> _I do not like incompetency._
> 
> Hence I have never had sex where my partner has not achieved orgasm.


Hmm. This seems more like its a barometer of your own performance rather than an interest in your partner.


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## Cetanu (Jan 20, 2012)

Master Mind said:


> Hmm. This seems more like its a barometer of your own performance rather than an interest in your partner.


That's correct. The last time I checked this thread was about whether men care whether their partners cum, not whether men care for their partners in general. Whether my partner orgasms or not is a measure of my performance or competence therefore I care whether they orgasm or not and _hopefully_ I'm not desperate enough to sleep with someone for the sake of it as opposed to sleeping with someone that I am interested in as a person.
If the topic has shifted since then... well... I don't know the context into which I am speaking.

Edit: I just realized that your post might contain a subtle tone of disapproval, if this is correct, why?


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