# What do you think of these erotic styles?



## SlowPoke68 (Apr 26, 2010)

I think whomever put that list together is a virgin.

The types that are most dominant in real life are most desirous of dominance and even humiliation in bed.

The showiest most extraverted types tend to shun stuff like exhibitionism.

The nerdiest, geekiest, most introverted types are the ones who are most likely to have great, deep reserves of sexual energy and creativity, and when you do something to set it off you can't slow them down. i.e.: still water runs deep.


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## wisdom (Dec 31, 2008)

I personally like doing some emotional caregiving, but not very one-sided.

The list might have more validity as applied to what types tend to want from their partners, probably broken down by gender (at least for heterosexuals). People in general are more oriented toward what they'll be getting in relationships than what they will be bringing.


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## Napoleptic (Oct 29, 2010)

cyamitide said:


> *Psuedo-Aggressors/Employees: INTJ, ENTJ*
> 
> These are types who exhibit aggressive tendencies in their everyday life...​




I'm an INTJ, but I'm about as aggressive as a...well, as the 9w1 I am. :laughing:

In everyday life, I should say. I'm going to claim the stereotypical INTJ ignorance of bedroom matters. :tongue:​


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

wisdom said:


> The list might have more validity as applied to what types tend to want from their partners, probably broken down by gender (at least for heterosexuals). People in general are more oriented toward what they'll be getting in relationships than what they will be bringing.


That has been my impression that it's been written too literally where functions have been directly converted to preferences and behaviors. If one takes gender into account and generalizes the characteristics then it becomes more relevant to everyday experience.


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## jimboworld (Jul 2, 2009)

I bet you're an ENTP. Starting sh*t like usual. Anyways - Go to Socionics - the16types.info - Erotic Attitudes for correct information. 



cyamitide said:


> What do you think of these erotic attitudes descriptions?
> Does this style apply to you? Does it correspond to your MBTI type?
> Can you relate more to another type's style?
> Which style do you find most attractive and compatible with yourself?
> ...


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## jimboworld (Jul 2, 2009)

Some INTJs are actually ENTJs. Some INTJs are not even Intuitives, it takes usually a couple of sentences of their word usage to figure a Sensor vs Intuitive. Sensors always are rather concrete and don't speak between the lines. Some ENTJs btw, are not ENTJs but fakers. I usually focus on people who are Intuitive vs Sensor, then I break the rest later. Within minutes I got their type down. INTJs bore me, women and men. They are rather fragile and weak. So they make it up by trying to sound smart.

I bet you can guess what I really am, don't pay attention to what I registered with.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

cyamitide said:


> *Pseudo-Caregivers/Students: INFP, ENFP*
> 
> These are types who exhibit paternal/maternal tendencies towards others in their everyday lives and may thus carry over these notions and temperaments into their romantic life. These types habitually attempt to give their partner what he/she "needs" (or what they believe they need). As a result, they may become drained by lack of attendance to their own needs and desires. In a partner, they are searching for a combination of strength and gentleness.


This is a gross misrepresentation of me. I am way too hot and good in bed to be someone's mother. Plus I'm a leader in everyday life. Not buying that this trait carries directly over into the playground of nakedness. Hell, we all need our release.


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## WolfStar (Aug 18, 2009)

cyamitide said:


> Erotic Attitudes
> *Psuedo-Aggressors/Employees: INTJ, ENTJ*
> 
> These are types who exhibit aggressive tendencies in their everyday life, and as a result tend to carry over these notions and temperaments into their romantic life. They typically are not comfortable with connotations of the word "victim" - implying a certain weakness, effeteness, and lack of dignity. In searching for a partner, they are looking for a worthy opponent - someone who is strong enough to withstand their quirks without "breaking" so to speak.​


Sure sounds like me. I want someone who I find to be valuable and can thus learn a great deal from them. I relate to the INFJ one a lot, though. I exhibit different sides of myself to everyone, depending upon who they are. That's the only part I relate to, though. No gauntlet for me. I also relate to the ISTJ, too. I want to learn and teach from someone, though.

I find the caregiver one attractive, as well as the pseudo-caregiver one.


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## Elizindrhythm (Mar 30, 2012)

As an ENFP, this does fit me more than I want to admit, especially when I was younger and less emotionally healthy. : /

Now, I would be less maternal (I'm learning to back off), and I'm much better at reaching out and asking for what I need/want. But I do like that strong/gentle combo. Especially if it also includes honorable, intelligent and creative. Dang, two thumbs up for that.


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## sparkles (Mar 2, 2011)

"*Aggressors/Employers: SEE (ESFp) ESI (ISFj)*

These types, like the conquerors, *express their sexuality openly*. In daily life they may tend to be rather submissive and as a result may tend to carry over these tendencies into their romantic life. They are won over by indirect acts of submission, and are thrilled when their love interest (in the case of the "psuedo-aggressor" type) acts unlike himself. In a partner, they are *looking for their equal *- someone whose solid facade they can break down piece by piece."

Bolded the parts that fit. The rest of it not so much. I don't tend to be too submissive in daily life, and would rather see dominance than submission... sort of. Heh.


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

jimboworld said:


> I bet you're an ENTP. Starting sh*t like usual.


And I bet that I am not  why do I have to be ENTP to start sh*t, it's unfair stereotype if you ask me that only ENTPs are allowed to do anything fun in this place


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## pretty.Odd (Oct 7, 2010)

> *Challengers/Trophies: INFJ, ENFJ*
> 
> These are the types who unconsciously throw a "gauntlet" down for their opponents. They know on an almost subliminal level exactly who they are looking for, and anyone who does not fit the bill will be subjected to a rather flakey, hot-cold game of courting tag. As a result, they may appear (both to others and to themselves) rather amorphous and can take on qualities of the other romantic attitudes, depending on the situation and who they are "challenging."
> 
> They may, for example, give the victim half his aggressor, the psuedo-aggressor a little victim, the caregiver a bit of his child, etc. They react best, however, to those who do not "break" as a result of their games, but grant them a level of autonomy. Healthy examples of this type will have a sense of self-esteem, and may think of themselves as the "prize" that will be given only to the rightful owner.


 damn this is pretty accurate...


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

Napoleptic said:


> I'm an INTJ, but I'm about as aggressive as a...well, as the 9w1 I am. :laughing:
> 
> In everyday life, I should say. I'm going to claim the stereotypical INTJ ignorance of bedroom matters. :tongue:


lol I like your signature quote, it perfectly illustrates the nature of a 9 :tongue:



sparkles said:


> "*Aggressors/Employers: SEE (ESFp) ESI (ISFj)*
> 
> These types, like the conquerors, *express their sexuality openly*. In daily life they may tend to be rather submissive and as a result may tend to carry over these tendencies into their romantic life. They are won over by indirect acts of submission, and are thrilled when their love interest (in the case of the "psuedo-aggressor" type) acts unlike himself. In a partner, they are *looking for their equal *- someone whose solid facade they can break down piece by piece."
> 
> Bolded the parts that fit. The rest of it not so much. I don't tend to be too submissive in daily life, and would rather see dominance than submission... sort of. Heh.


curious what enneagram type you are?


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## Ramysa (Mar 22, 2012)

I mostly agree with it.


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## sparkles (Mar 2, 2011)

cyamitide said:


> curious what enneagram type you are?


Been trying to figure it out actually. Toss up for core type of 6w7 or 9w8. For whatever reason I can look a bit aggressive outside the bedroom. I can look a bit aggressive in the bedroom too, but I like dominance. 

Come to think of it, there might be something to the part that says "they are looking for their equal - someone whose solid facade they can break down piece by piece." I just didn't see it before.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

Sex is its own set of complex drives and actions. It also tends to be private, or relatively so, so it often differs greatly from one's public persona. 

To people I casually work or associate with, I'm a relatively conservative, "proper" white boy who was raised right, etc. Moreover, I have a lot of the NTP (particularly INTP) traits of mirroring/chameleoning those around me. I'm very different sexually and I frankly am much more "in the moment" and "sensory" when I'm engaged in sexual behavior with someone. Sex in many ways is frankly an escape for me, enabling me to behave wonderfully differently from the way I do in everyday life. 

In other words, this sexual styles stuff is pop psychology garbage. The fact that it paints with such a broad brush is a dead giveaway in that regard.


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## OldNewBorrowedTardis (Jul 3, 2011)

kaleidoscope said:


> As much as I hate to admit it, it's kinda true hahahaha. Especially the last part, combination of strength and gentleness drives me crazy..


Hahaha ditto!


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## Rakshasa (May 26, 2012)

True, but I don't have to like it.
Bitter because I'm lonely right now, don't mind that last part. lol


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

sparkles said:


> Been trying to figure it out actually. Toss up for core type of 6w7 or 9w8. For whatever reason I can look a bit aggressive outside the bedroom. I can look a bit aggressive in the bedroom too, but I like dominance.
> 
> Come to think of it, there might be something to the part that says "they are looking for their equal - someone whose solid facade they can break down piece by piece." I just didn't see it before.


Sounds more 9w8. I've known a couple 9w8s and the most apparent thing about them is their 8 wing and this interplay of dominance-submission that they engage in their relationships. One of them liked spreading jam on her shoes and having guys lick it off along with the dirt, but in general she was very sweet and much scattered in her life like a 9. One wouldn't even suspect that she engaged in something like this. That 8 wing was more like her creative area.


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

there was another version posted of these erotic styles: http://personalitycafe.com/articles/1141-gulenkos-erotic-attitudes.html sounds like an earlier draft, it's quite funny


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## EmileeArsenic (Jun 8, 2012)

*Caregivers: ISFJ, ESFJ

These are those types who openly express their need to "protect" and care for their romantic interest. In conversation may often lend a sympathetic ear (which, depending on the person, may be interpreted as insincerity, but it's exactly what the Child-like type is looking for). They are looking for someone who will not only accept their paternal/maternal tendencies, but welcome and thrive on it.

*Indeed. That says "me" to a tee. The INTP I'm currently on the verge of (I hope) getting into something with does sometimes see me as a "soft place to fall," as he puts it. 

I'm the type to have my guy lay his head on my chest while I stroke his hair while he tells me what's bothering him and we talk it out. My ex told me it was very soothing and at times maternal. Made him feel ok saying what was on his mind and like I wasn't going to hold his words against him, but was going to accept that he thought differently and try to reach an agreement from a place of love... which is exactly what I was going for.

I've told I can be motherly, accepting and nurturing, and to a point I guess that's true. I do tend to push people I care for to be the best they can be because I see diamonds in the rough and honestly believe that if they were to polish themselves to their full potential, they could blind with their brilliance.


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## ilphithra (Jun 22, 2010)

cyamitide said:


> *psuedo-aggressors/employees: Intj, entj*
> 
> these are types who exhibit aggressive tendencies in their everyday life, and as a result tend to carry over these notions and temperaments into their romantic life. They typically are not comfortable with connotations of the word "victim" - implying a certain weakness, effeteness, and lack of dignity. In searching for a partner, they are looking for a worthy opponent - someone who is strong enough to withstand their quirks without "breaking" so to speak.​


​What is this load of bull manure? :dry:

Only accurate part on that pile of manure is this:



> In searching for a partner, they are looking for a worthy opponent.


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## xxxlovefactorxxx (May 27, 2012)

The styles that apply to me most are:
*Challenger/Trophies INFJ/ENFJ
*and the PSeudo-Caretakers/students INFP, ENFP

I am attracted to 
*the Conqueror: ISTP, ESTP
*the Caregivers ISFJ, ESFJ


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## Kormoran (Mar 15, 2012)

Somebody linked to the Gulenko thread. To me, that seemed to ring truer than this one. Unfortunately that thread was closed. Why, I don't know. But I think Russian the article was translated from.


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## MelissaC (May 23, 2012)

cyamitide said:


> Erotic Attitudes
> *Psuedo-Aggressors/Employees: INTJ, ENTJ*
> 
> These are types who exhibit aggressive tendencies in their everyday life, and as a result tend to carry over these notions and temperaments into their romantic life. They typically are not comfortable with connotations of the word "victim" - implying a certain weakness, effeteness, and lack of dignity. In searching for a partner, *they are looking for a worthy opponent *- someone who is strong enough to withstand their quirks without "breaking" so to speak.​


Yes, absolutely. The INTJ type is spot on. Parts of the INFJ description fit me well too, such as, "They may, for example, give the victim half his aggressor, the psuedo-aggressor a little victim, the caregiver a bit of his child, etc. They react best, however, to those who do not "break" as a result of their games, but grant them a level of autonomy."

My preferred partners would be conquerors, and (pseudo-)aggressors, but like the INFJ, I can explore different aspects of sexuality with different people.

I like the way of describing it, of "finding partners who won't break."


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

EmileeArsenic said:


> I'm the type to have my guy lay his head on my chest while I stroke his hair while he tells me what's bothering him and we talk it out. My ex told me it was very soothing and at times maternal. Made him feel ok saying what was on his mind and like I wasn't going to hold his words against him, but was going to accept that he thought differently and try to reach an agreement from a place of love... which is exactly what I was going for.
> 
> I've told I can be motherly, accepting and nurturing, and to a point I guess that's true. I do tend to push people I care for to be the best they can be because I see diamonds in the rough and honestly believe that if they were to polish themselves to their full potential, they could blind with their brilliance.


You must be twins with my ISFJ friend because you have just described how she behaves in relationships perfectly xD



ilphithra said:


> What is this load of bull manure? :dry:
> 
> Only accurate part on that pile of manure is this:


can you expand a bit on what parts don't fit with your romancing style and what you prefer instead?


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## EmileeArsenic (Jun 8, 2012)

cyamitide said:


> You must be twins with my ISFJ friend because you have just described how she behaves in relationships perfectly xD


It really is a great policy. I rarely fight with my SO's. We rarely need to.

Every so often I do push for an argument, though, over something completely stupid and superficial because of the angry makeup sex. Nothin' like it


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## Rachel Something (Jan 30, 2012)

cyamitide said:


> *Childlike Types: ENTP, INTP*
> 
> These types seem to exist outside their own sexuality. Sex is to be metabolized psychologically for them in an almost roundabout way - as an emotional entity, or possibly even an intellectual exercise. In a partner, they are looking for someone who will deal with (and protect) their quirks and understand their sexuality on the same intellectual/emotional level.​


I'm afraid I can't relate to this. "Intellectual exercise"... the hell? I don't even know what to make of that whole description...


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## ilphithra (Jun 22, 2010)

cyamitide said:


> can you expand a bit on what parts don't fit with your romancing style and what you prefer instead?


What is it you didn't understand when I said that the *only *accurate part is looking for a "worthy opponent"? :dry:


But if you need the drawing and the arrows, I will indulge:



> These are types who exhibit aggressive tendencies in their everyday life, and as a result tend to carry over these notions and temperaments into their romantic life.


Extremely so! I wonder what my SO thinks of all those random hugs, kisses or pettings that I give her when I feel like having my Fi out. Or those presents and flowers... Horrors, I say... Horrors! Or all that romantic banter... "oh noez!" She must be thinking I'm the freaking devil. :dry:



> They typically are not comfortable with connotations of the word "victim" - implying a certain weakness, effeteness, and lack of dignity.


Who the heck in their sane mind wants to be a victim? Anyone? I don't think so. 
How is this "INTJ only"? More bull.



> In searching for a partner, they are looking for a worthy opponent - someone who is strong enough to withstand their quirks without "breaking" so to speak.


What an INTJ wants is someone who can match them and complement them. Some barbie bimbo is simply boring and good to throw in the trash because we don't care about insignificant shit like "the latest nail polish". I'm engaged to a tomboy-ish ISFP so take your conclusions. 


Whoever wrote that piece of shit never saw "the inside" of an INTJ. *End of.*


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## Tristan427 (Dec 9, 2011)

mikki104 said:


> The best sex I ever had was with an INTP who was so mindfully into me and me into him that our sex was almost transcendental. It practically occurred in another dimension. I'd get lightheaded. Literally, a mindfuck. It was amazing.


I am jealous. That kind of sex seems almost impossible.


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

Cormo said:


> Somebody linked to the Gulenko thread. To me, that seemed to ring truer than this one. Unfortunately that thread was closed. Why, I don't know. But I think Russian the article was translated from.


These erotic styles were developed on the basis of that Gulenko writing. It's a further refined version, but may be older version was better. I linked it for comparison.


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## viva (Aug 13, 2010)

This just... does not fit at all.

I would say I'm a combo of ESFP/ISFP and ENTP/INTP.


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

wisdom said:


> The list might have more validity as applied to what types tend to want from their partners, probably broken down by gender (at least for heterosexuals). People in general are more oriented toward what they'll be getting in relationships than what they will be bringing.


Gender would have a considerable influence on this list. Male "victim" types I can image would have more difficulty seeing themselves as so than female victims due to the stereotype prevalent in our society that the male has to be the aggressor.


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## angularvelocity (Jun 15, 2009)

*These are the types who unconsciously throw a "gauntlet" down for their opponents. They know on an almost subliminal level exactly who they are looking for, and anyone who does not fit the bill will be subjected to a rather flakey, hot-cold game of courting tag. As a result, they may appear (both to others and to themselves) rather amorphous and can take on qualities of the other romantic attitudes, depending on the situation and who they are "challenging."

They may, for example, give the victim half his aggressor, the psuedo-aggressor a little victim, the caregiver a bit of his child, etc. They react best, however, to those who do not "break" as a result of their games, but grant them a level of autonomy. Healthy examples of this type will have a sense of self-esteem, and may think of themselves as the "prize" that will be given only to the rightful owner.


*​Interesting, I suppose I agree.


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

bump!


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## Seranova (Mar 1, 2013)

_*Challengers/Trophies: INFJ, ENFJ*

These are the types who unconsciously throw a "gauntlet" down for their opponents. They know on an almost subliminal level exactly who they are looking for, and anyone who does not fit the bill will be subjected to a rather flakey, hot-cold game of courting tag. As a result, they may appear (both to others and to themselves) rather amorphous and can take on qualities of the other romantic attitudes, depending on the situation and who they are "challenging."

They may, for example, give the victim half his aggressor, the psuedo-aggressor a little victim, the caregiver a bit of his child, etc. They react best, however, to those who do not "break" as a result of their games, but grant them a level of autonomy. Healthy examples of this type will have a sense of self-esteem, and may think of themselves as the "prize" that will be given only to the rightful owner._

_This may..or may not be me...yep, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. *innocent whistle* _


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## clairdelunatic (Mar 20, 2013)

cyamitide said:


> These types habitually attempt to give their partner what he/she "needs" (or what they believe they need).


Check... that parenthetical remark is particularly damning. 



> As a result, they may become drained by lack of attendance to their own needs and desires.


Yes.



> In a partner, they are searching for a combination of strength and gentleness.


Agreed with @kaleidoscope. :rool:: (Although this description is as vague as a horoscope).


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

> (Although this description is as vague as a horoscope).



these groupings are very wide so it has to be very general


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

*gulp* :blushed: Ooh no!


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## Devrim (Jan 26, 2013)

The title,
For mine,
Seals the deal.


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## Ugunti (Oct 10, 2013)

INTP here. And the erotic style applies to me


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

ningsta kitty said:


> *gulp* :blushed: Ooh no!


what's wrong??


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## kayaycee. (Jun 20, 2014)

Vivid Melody said:


> ^ What she said. I would think enneagram type had more to do with it.


Yes I'd be much more curious to see what Enneagram would have to say about it


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## Stendhal (May 31, 2014)

Is it just me, or does this thread make xNFPs sound like pedophiles?


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## Golden Rose (Jun 5, 2014)

Someone should do an enneagram version because it'd be amazing.


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## neurosis (Jun 22, 2014)

Fits too well. I'm aggressive and frankly mean to people I like romantically just to "test" them.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

> Conquerors: ISTP, ESTP
> 
> These are assertive types who do not flinch at their own sexuality. They will express their own desire without reservation. They are won over by direct shows of submission (only after feeling that they have earned it). He will be insulted if his romantic interest gives him his title without question, and bored if the fight is too easily won. He, like the Pseudo-Aggressor and the Challenger, is questing to find his equal. Someone he can play his almost sadistic games with without "breaking."


I like the part about earned. Further more the part about equal. I have stated many times. I like mutual. I am an aggressor but I like an equal aggressor not someone who wants me to be submissive but not someone who wants me to the dominant as the quote says by giving the title without question. I like someone like me who likes the tide to go back and forth. I don't mind submitting equally I just don't like submitting more, and same with dominating.


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

Karma said:


> Someone should do an enneagram version because it'd be amazing.


that's a swell idea!


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

bump


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## Fern (Sep 2, 2012)

> These are the types who unconsciously throw a "gauntlet" down for their opponents. They know on an almost subliminal level exactly who they are looking for, and anyone who does not fit the bill will be subjected to a rather flakey, hot-cold game of courting tag. As a result, they may appear (both to others and to themselves) rather amorphous and can take on qualities of the other romantic attitudes, depending on the situation and who they are "challenging."
> 
> They may, for example, give the victim half his aggressor, the psuedo-aggressor a little victim, the caregiver a bit of his child, etc. They react best, however, to those who do not "break" as a result of their games, but grant them a level of autonomy. Healthy examples of this type will have a sense of self-esteem, and may think of themselves as the "prize" that will be given only to the rightful owner.


So embarrassingly accurate.

It was verging on painful to read.


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## EndsOfTheEarth (Mar 14, 2015)

Okay not to come off all judgey, judgey here. But my reaction to the original article was WTF? Does anyone who is not a broken unit behave in this way?


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## mrhcmll (Nov 22, 2013)

> *Pseudo-Caregivers/Students: INFP, ENFP*
> 
> _These are types who *exhibit paternal/maternal tendencies towards others in their everyday lives *and may thus carry over these notions and temperaments into their romantic life. These types habitually attempt to give their partner what he/she "needs" (or what they believe they need). As a result, they may become drained by lack of attendance to their own needs and desires. In a partner, *they are searching for a combination of strength and gentleness*_.


I've actually stumbled upon this numeral times in the past. And every time I always wished there were more to add to this. Something more specific. 

The infantile/childlike description on the other hand gave a better description and in fact, fit me perfectly.



> _*Typical characteristics of the Childlike romance style:*
> - interest is sparked in partner with positive aesthetic attributes divorced from active, "aggressive" sexuality
> - *tend to try to attract partner's interest with joking, goofy or even "strange" behavior*
> - *try to help partner see the unexpected and fun side of things*
> ...


_*Which style do you find most attractive and compatible with yourself?*_

I find Caregiver and Teacher types (xSTJs) more attractive and compatible. Of course, in theory. I have yet to witness and experience this first-hand. It's actually quite ironic since my ESTJ mother was a teacher herself. She always tries to tell me to do things the "right way" and excuses that as a side effect of her previous profession. "I'm _supposed_ to tell people and guide them in what they do," she says. "It's my job."

The trait that stands out for me is that for Infantiles/Childlike and Careful/Caregiver types, there is no power to be held or given. There is equality within the relationship and I agree with that wholeheartedly. I like the idea of being guided although not through every aspect in life. Certainly, I could be teaching something as well in the relationship.


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## Chesire Tower (Jan 19, 2013)

At first, I dismissed this thread as silly but after actually bothering to click the link; I honestly think that there's something to it.


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## Alles_Paletti (May 15, 2013)

> Pseudo-Aggressors/Employees: INTJ, ENTJ
> 
> These are types who exhibit aggressive tendencies in their everyday life, and as a result tend to carry over these notions and temperaments into their romantic life. They typically are not comfortable with connotations of the word "victim" - implying a certain weakness, effeteness, and lack of dignity. In searching for a partner, they are looking for a worthy opponent - someone who is strong enough to withstand their quirks without "breaking" so to speak.


Sounds more like an ennea 8 than INTJ/ENTJ.


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## Pupazzo (Apr 12, 2015)

intp here and the description matches perfectly to me


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## SilverFalcon (Dec 18, 2014)

Yeah it does. In my 30's I fall in love the exactly same way as I did when I was 10-ish, so even the label is right.

When I was talking about sexuality with my sensor friend (i think ESTP), he was like: "Sex is not intellectual exercise you stupid!" :kitteh:


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## conscius (Apr 20, 2010)

bumping old thread, locked.


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