# But what would make you fall in love with someone seriously?



## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Everyone is joking about it. But what makes you fall in love with someone?


----------



## thedazzlingdexter (12 mo ago)

shameless said:


> Everyone is joking about it. But what makes you fall in love with someone?


There is very specific situations where I FALL IN LOVE

I noticed a pattern through most of my crushes

It has to be a situation where I am semi Isolated and unable to make freinds well

Than a person comes and suddenly starts being super nice to me and starts getting me out to actually do fun activities

I will become completely obsessed with that person

Sometimes this turns into a type of stalking and not sleeping cuase I want them near/Sometimes it turns to me dreaming about how pretty they would look tied to a chair and my wierd Kink fantasys

I dont think this state is ever really healthy even if the feelings are returned


----------



## DOGSOUP (Jan 29, 2016)

A particular blend of strength and vulnerability did the trick once, but honestly, I am not sure anymore.


----------



## UpClosePersonal (Apr 18, 2014)

I think two people need a reason to be together. A goal.
For most couples, it's having children.
If you're beyond that age, I don't know what would bring you together if you are complete strangers to each other.
It would seem to me that you would find a relationship with someone you knew earlier in your life if you want to be successful.
I think it's a fallacy to believe that ANY two people can make a go of it.
That carries with it the fake it until you make it approach.
One of the biggest obstacles to finding someone later in life is "baggage".
Emotional, financial, home ownership, and anything else that makes it complicated like troubled children that are involved.

Falling in love early in life when you haven't got anything yet to lose is okay.

Later in life, it is seen for the illusion that it is because reality has too big a hand in the deal.


----------



## ai.tran.75 (Feb 26, 2014)

I’ve only fallen in love once - fortunately I’m still with that same person . I fell in love with my husband due to his trusts in me - he opens up his entire self, showed his vulnerable self - his altruism was what changed my love /infatuation for him into true love . 

What about you ? Have you ever been in love ? 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Flabarac Brupip (May 9, 2020)

I really don't know.


----------



## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

UpClosePersonal said:


> I think two people need a reason to be together. A goal.
> For most couples, it's having children.
> If you're beyond that age, I don't know what would bring you together if you are complete strangers to each other.
> It would seem to me that you would find a relationship with someone you knew earlier in your life if you want to be successful.
> ...


So what about this makes YOU fall in love? 

Or was your point that you do not see yourself falling in love, in favor of practical procreating partner choice? Or were you trying to say you are too old and have too much baggage to fall in love? Or was this just your speculation about other peoples love lives?


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

thedazzlingdexter said:


> I noticed a pattern through most of my crushes


Of course the INTJ noticed a pattern 

That scenario you painted would make most people have the same reaction IMO coz it's literally set up to cause that result.


----------



## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I think I am a demi romantic.

Not to be confused with demi sexual. I can hook up with someone without emotional connection.

But I noticed I do not fall for someone like who is trying to push the idea of relationship and romance easily, upon meeting like a blind date, or someone trying to set me up with someone etc. The few times I fell in love they were emotions that grew over longer term exposure and interaction in the environment.

I think demiromantic sounds silly. But I see alotta people who do not appear to require emotional chemistry or bond to fall for each other romantically or seek a relationship.


----------



## UpClosePersonal (Apr 18, 2014)

shameless said:


> So what about this makes YOU fall in love?
> 
> Or was your point that you do not see yourself falling in love, in favor of practical procreating partner choice? Or were you trying to say you are too old and have too much baggage to fall in love? Or was this just your speculation about other peoples love lives?


You forgot to add "asking for a friend".

I don't know if you've noticed but there are certain people who post and you say to yourself, I like how they think. There's something familiar and comfortable about that person. You may find yourself looking forward to more posts from them.

But there's a big difference between falling in love and getting over the hurdles I've listed in order to make a relationship. Online here its easy to fall in love but then you have to overcome distances so where does that leave you?


----------



## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

UpClosePersonal said:


> You forgot to add "asking for a friend".
> 
> I don't know if you've noticed but there are certain people who post and you say to yourself, I like how they think. There's something familiar and comfortable about that person. You may find yourself looking forward to more posts from them.
> 
> But there's a big difference between falling in love and getting over the hurdles I've listed in order to make a relationship. Online here its easy to fall in love but then you have to overcome distances so where does that leave you?


What on earth are you talking about, pertaining to the thread question, or anything I asked you?


----------



## thedazzlingdexter (12 mo ago)

ENTJudgement said:


> Of course the INTJ noticed a pattern
> 
> That scenario you painted would make most people have the same reaction IMO coz it's literally set up to cause that result.


What do you mean? 

There is a scientific way to make ANYONE fall in love with you?


----------



## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

thedazzlingdexter said:


> What do you mean?
> 
> There is a scientific way to make ANYONE fall in love with you?


Love, or infatuation? 

I think there is a way to manipulate emotions. I do not think that is authentic so it is questionable on if it is love. Based on interpretation.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

thedazzlingdexter said:


> What do you mean?
> 
> There is a scientific way to make ANYONE fall in love with you?


Well "you're isolated and unable to make friends", basically you're craving human interaction.

"Then a person comes and suddenly starts being super nice to me and starts getting me out to actually do fun activities"

Of course you'd have a astronomically higher chance of liking her then, shes literally the only person who was nice to you, who satisfied your need or desire for human interaction, shes the correct gender, you're having fun with her, doing activities and spending quality time with each other I mean how much more do you need to start feeling attraction towards her? Lol. Most people would probably become attracted and fall for her.

Thus I was saying, that specific scenario you painted works for ALOT of people and is pretty standard.


----------



## thedazzlingdexter (12 mo ago)

ENTJudgement said:


> Well "you're isolated and unable to make friends", basically you're craving human interaction.
> 
> "Then a person comes and suddenly starts being super nice to me and starts getting me out to actually do fun activities"
> 
> ...


The difference though is this is literally the only circumstance that does it. I am rather in different in most cases and its why I tend to stay out of a lot of romance drama since its difficult to get attached to humans.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

thedazzlingdexter said:


> The difference though is this is literally the only circumstance that does it. I am rather in different in most cases and its why I tend to stay out of a lot of romance drama since its difficult to get attached to humans.


I see, so if the sweetest, loving, attractive girl with her life together was interested in you and the 2 of u started dating, the dates were going great, nice romantic atmosphere but you had a lot of friends and wasn't socially isolated etc... you'd not be able to fall for her?


----------



## UpClosePersonal (Apr 18, 2014)

shameless said:


> What on earth are you talking about, pertaining to the thread question, or anything I asked you?


I don't answer thread questions usually. 
I just post some thoughts and either they reach somebody or they don't.
I've only fell in love once. married her. Lost her when she passed on.

What made me fall in love with her was time. Time together building memories. We met with the intention of building a life together, having children, making memories of a lifetime.
We did that.

When I tried online dating, I discovered too many obstacles to falling in love as many of you on here are finding as well.

I did come to love a woman during 4 years of dating but the baggage stuff was insurmountable as far as I was concerned. I saw no reason to marry her. There were no shared goals in mind.


----------



## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

UpClosePersonal said:


> Falling in love early in life when you haven't got anything yet to lose is okay.
> 
> Later in life, it is seen for the illusion that it is because reality has too big a hand in the deal.


This scares me, but could be true to a degree. I don't like when people ask me to give up my idealist fantasy of love. If I give it up, what would there be to convince me to fall in love? Some magic and fantasy is needed to sustain a relationship, I think. Otherwise, what would possess you to put up with things like snoring, messiness, forgetfulness, or whatever other pet peeve from a stranger?


----------



## UpClosePersonal (Apr 18, 2014)

OrchidSugar said:


> This scares me, but could be true to a degree. I don't like when people ask me to give up my idealist fantasy of love. If I give it up, what would there be to convince me to fall in love? Some magic and fantasy is needed to sustain a relationship, I think. Otherwise, what would possess you to put up with things like snoring, messiness, forgetfulness, or whatever other pet peeve from a stranger?


Do you mind revealing how old you are? So I can appreciate where you're coming from?


----------



## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

shameless said:


> I think demiromantic sounds silly. But I see alotta people who do not appear to require emotional chemistry or bond to fall for each other romantically or seek a relationship.


Someone else on Perc made another post. I lost it now. It was a video link to a Joyce Meng discussion about what different types are looking for in a romantic partner. I only watched 5 minutes, because it was like 2 hours long. From what I gathered (and could remember):

SP - looking for a playmate
SJ - looking for a helpmate
NT - looking for a mindmate
NF - looking for a soulmate

I would be interested to hear what you and others think about this.


----------



## Dalien (Jul 21, 2010)

OrchidSugar said:


> Someone else on Perc made another post. I lost it now. It was a video link to a Joyce Meng discussion about what different types are looking for in a romantic partner. I only watched 5 minutes, because it was like 2 hours long. From what I gathered (and could remember):
> 
> SP - looking for a playmate
> SJ - looking for a helpmate
> ...


That sounds about right.


----------



## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

UpClosePersonal said:


> Do you mind revealing how old you are? So I can appreciate where you're coming from?


I'm 30 this year.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

OrchidSugar said:


> Someone else on Perc made another post. I lost it now. It was a video link to a Joyce Meng discussion about what different types are looking for in a romantic partner. I only watched 5 minutes, because it was like 2 hours long. From what I gathered (and could remember):
> 
> SP - looking for a playmate
> SJ - looking for a helpmate
> ...


Yo, me being NT am looking for soul mate even though I think the chances are aastronomically low. GG "I'm just an ENFP pretending to be an ENTJ" rings true once again as "NF - looking for a soulmate"


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

OrchidSugar said:


> I'm 30 this year.


Wow, you're younger than me, for some reason I thought the reverse lol


----------



## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

ENTJudgement said:


> Wow, you're younger than me, for some reason I thought the reverse lol


I know. I can never tell if my spirit is a teenager or middle-aged. This is why I always joke around that I am not aging. I will start aging again once I reach 45.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

UpClosePersonal said:


> Online here its easy to fall in love but then you have to overcome distances so where does that leave you?


Yeah, I went to America like 3 times coz keep finding gfs online from there and end up in some LDR. It's like 80% of everyone I meet online seems to be from Murica lol.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

OrchidSugar said:


> I know. I can never tell if my spirit is a teenager or middle-aged. This is why I always joke around that I am not aging. I will start aging again once I reach 45.


IMO your spirit is middle-aged, definitely not teenaged. Oops, I mean you're young and beautiful, forever 21


----------



## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

ENTJudgement said:


> IMO your spirit is middle-aged, definitely not teenaged. Oops, I mean you're young and beautiful, forever 21


Well this should tell you all you need to know about my romantic life. But people always tell me I am naive as well, and that I don't know how the world works. So that's why I get confused.


----------



## UpClosePersonal (Apr 18, 2014)

OrchidSugar said:


> I'm 30 this year.


Why are you single would you say?


----------



## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

UpClosePersonal said:


> Why are you single would you say?


I can't say with much objectivity. Maybe I have too much emotional baggage which aged me. But I'm usually the backburner girl. Like the maybe later girl.


----------



## Dalien (Jul 21, 2010)

OrchidSugar said:


> I can't say with much objectivity. Maybe I have too much emotional baggage which aged me. But I'm usually the backburner girl. Like the maybe later girl.


Yeah, I’m pretty much the same way (I‘m the quiet background, slightly different than the backburner—don’t believe I make anyone burn), but I’m much older—that doesn’t help me one bit. So, with this said, you still have time.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

OrchidSugar said:


> Well this should tell you all you need to know about my romantic life. But people always tell me I am naive as well, and that I don't know how the world works. So that's why I get confused.


Nah u know exactly how the world works, u just value your personal values over how the world works IMO.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

OrchidSugar said:


> I can't say with much objectivity. Maybe I have too much emotional baggage which aged me. But I'm usually the backburner girl. Like the maybe later girl.


Do you know why you're the backburner girl though? & What emotional baggage?


----------



## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

ENTJudgement said:


> Do you know why you're the backburner girl though? & What emotional baggage?


I think it would be mostly speculation on my part, because it's hard to know what other people's intentions and motivations are. And I'm not going to get into the emotional stuff either, lol. We'll be here all night.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

OrchidSugar said:


> I think it would be mostly speculation on my part, because it's hard to know what other people's intentions and motivations are. And I'm not going to get into the emotional stuff either, lol. We'll be here all night.


I sometimes do this thing with my INFP friend where he kinda lists his values and how it makes him feel line by line and I go over each one and put my Te spin on it in case he missed the reasoning behind why it happened that way. Like the other day he was complaining about how women on dating APPs were so rude dismissive (he just got out of a relationship and trying to move on) and I reminded him that the average woman on said dating APP probably gets hundreds of likes and messages everyday (I've already tested the theory with a group of friends before to prove my point) so even if she had the best of intentions, it would be a full time job to read everyone's bio/profile and message then reply with a befitting one back. It kinda calmed his triggered Fi down coz it might not necessarily be his fault nor the women's fault, just a victim of circumstance.

But I think you have a good grasp on Te so you probably already know the reasonings and why things are the way they are.


----------



## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

OrchidSugar said:


> Someone else on Perc made another post. I lost it now. It was a video link to a Joyce Meng discussion about what different types are looking for in a romantic partner. I only watched 5 minutes, because it was like 2 hours long. From what I gathered (and could remember):
> 
> SP - looking for a playmate
> SJ - looking for a helpmate
> ...


I relate to the SP & NF descriptions

Not totally weird though. My alter ego with same functions is INFJ.

Do you relate to NF as well as the SJ?


----------



## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

shameless said:


> I relate to the SP & NF descriptions
> 
> Not totally weird though. My alter ego with same functions is INFJ.
> 
> Do you relate to NF as well as the SJ?


Yeah actually I do! But I thought INFP's alter ego was ISTP.
Edit: Ohhh never mind. I guess with the same functions would be ESTJ


----------



## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

OrchidSugar said:


> Yeah actually I do! But I thought INFP's alter ego was ISTP.
> Edit: Ohhh never mind. I guess with the same functions would be ESTJ


I relate most in this order

Playmate
Soulmate
Helpmate
Mindmate 

You?


----------



## Dalien (Jul 21, 2010)

shameless said:


> I relate to the SP & NF descriptions
> 
> Not totally weird though. My alter ego with same functions is INFJ.
> 
> Do you relate to NF as well as the SJ?


This made me stop right in my tracks… once upon a time, in my wildest dreams… yes.


----------



## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

shameless said:


> I relate most in this order
> 
> Playmate
> Soulmate
> ...


Ooh. Idk it's hard for me to order things like that. I think I would need to pass through all of them in order to fall in love. But I would put a greater weight on there being a soulmate/helpmate. Because that would differentiate them from a friend.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

Rihanna said:


> 😆 I mean if I was looking for feminine I'd just go lesbian and date an ENFP girl. The original manic pixie dream.


Intranst born the wrong gender, kekw.


----------



## Rihanna (Nov 30, 2020)

OrchidSugar said:


> No I’m not talking about complying with things just because. Not really biting your tongue. I’m talking about tempering your _delivery_ to avoid your default vice. For xNTJ that would be anger and authority. For xNTP that would be intellectual elitism and inflicting humiliation.
> 
> By nature, emotions are not always logical. So trying to use logic with an overly emotional person does not actually help. Let’s not even take the extreme example of an enraged Karen. Let’s just say an everyday example. Your girl is upset about something and you tell her to calm down because it’s logically stupid to be upset. Has that ever worked for anyone in history?


As bad as @ENTJudgement is I don't think he would say that in this situation. He doesn't strike me as dense.

Dontcha know ENTJs are teddy bears if you have them wrapped round your finger? 😄


----------



## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

The idea behind ENTJ-INFP is that ENTJ pick up easily what I’m putting down. It’s such a relief to have my point grasped quickly whereas other types can nitpick and get fussy over logical details like grammar and crap that are beside the overall message, or take things out of context like I mentioned. And on the INTJ-ENFP side, INTJs feel hella emotions and actually love engaging with them but they need to feel comfortable first. ENFP says go ahead, your emotions are valid here, but they also have Te right there to engage in the reasoning.

Edit: Sorry for the edits.


----------



## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

Rihanna said:


> The endless outrage. Somebody trick them into a basement, bring them together and hand them a blunt to pass around in a circle. Or pump the room full of weed smoke. Maybe they'll all chill out and make peace.


I would watch a Daily Wire x TYT mashup where they were forced to be on the same platform day in and day out. Like anchoring the same show lol 🍿


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

Rihanna said:


> Dontcha know ENTJs are teddy bears if you have them wrapped round your finger? 😄


Yo, spot making my weaknesses public.


----------



## Rihanna (Nov 30, 2020)

intranst said:


> The idea behind ENTJ-INFP is that ENTJ pick up easily what I’m putting down. It’s such a relief to have my point grasped quickly whereas other types can nitpick and get fussy over logical details like grammar and crap that are beside the overall message, or take things out of context like I mentioned. And on the INTJ-ENFP side, INTJs feel hella emotions and actually love engaging with them but they need to feel comfortable first. ENFP says go ahead, your emotions are valid here, but they also have Te right there to engage in the reasoning.
> 
> Edit: Sorry for the edits.


ENFPs are a hidden/ part of me and I am a hidden part of ENFPs. I wonder if the same goes for INFP/ENTJ. I suppose so. It's why you'd get what each other throw down so smoothly.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

intranst said:


> It’s such a relief to have my point grasped quickly whereas other types can nitpick and get fussy over logical details like grammar and crap that are beside the overall message.


MsAligned totally dissed my Engrish :'(


----------



## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

Rihanna said:


> As bad as @ENTJudgement is I don't think he would say that in this situation. He doesn't strike me as dense.
> 
> Dontcha know ENTJs are teddy bears if you have them wrapped round your finger? 😄


@ENTJudgement is a sweet heart. He just doesn’t want anyone to know


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

OrchidSugar said:


> @ENTJudgement is a sweet heart. He just doesn’t want anyone to know


#AnonymousOnlineSweetHeart 
#LionIRL


----------



## Rihanna (Nov 30, 2020)

ENTJudgement said:


> Yo, spot making my weaknesses public.


Nah man, she thinks we monsters out here and you out there using your logic talkin' past her all day lettin' her believe them stereotypes to be true. You is cute, deflected, admit it. 










This meme is too true.


----------



## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

ENTJudgement said:


> MsAligned totally dissed my Engrish :'(


The nerve!


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

intranst said:


> And on the INTJ-ENFP side, INTJs feel hella emotions and actually love engaging with them but they need to feel comfortable first. ENFP says go ahead, your emotions are valid here, but they also have Te right there to engage in the reasoning.


Yeah my INTJ mate who talks like hes the biggest asshole in the world is secretly very emotional and after a 2hr diss session on others, he'll express his emotions 2 me and we end up having a therapeutic therapy session. Similar struggles, similar thinking, ez relate.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

Rihanna said:


> Nah man, she thinks we monsters out here and you out there using your logic talkin' past her all day lettin' her believe them stereotypes to be true. You is cute, deflected, admit it.
> 
> View attachment 912497
> 
> ...


I can even deny this coz my INTJ mate totally sees me as that. :'(


----------



## Rihanna (Nov 30, 2020)

ENTJudgement said:


> I can even deny this coz my INTJ mate totally sees me as that. :'(


It's not a bad thing.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

OrchidSugar said:


> I think if she continues her patterns and they don’t produce the harmful result then she will feel safe. Example: you meet a woman with daddy issues who is very overtly sexual but desperately wants to settle down into a long term committed relationship and start a family. Most guys will see her core wound and exploit them for sexual access, or just won’t consider her a long term suitable partner.
> 
> If she meets one who slows things down, seeks to get to know her, and build a relationship slowly over time then this will correct her programming. Because she will have played out the scenario with a masculine figure who is attentive to her needs. This is just my guess, because they say that most people are attracted to partners that remind them of their opposite gender parent.


Ok, be nice to promiscuous women who flaunt themselves at other men so I don't look like I'm exploiting her for sexual access. Wait, why do I suddenly sound like a cuck now?


----------



## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

But yeah if anyone’s read my book, aka random shit that I comment, that orientation of type compatibility works for all types. ESFP-ISTJ, ENTP-INFJ, you name it. All based on how functions manifest, what both people give a shit about, communication, helping the other where they have a psychological block (cuz no one has perfect perception), the whole nine yards. I’ve seen shit, I’ve read shit, I’ve cross-referenced, I’ve experienced shit.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

Rihanna said:


> It's not a bad thing.


Be gentle with my heart pls.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

intranst said:


> Real talk though, I probably got better at it by always have to explain Fi influenced judgements to my ENTP brother who would step on my values on occasion. I like him, but there is an area we can’t cross with each other. He turns everything into universal contexts.


Your brother sounds like someone that will influence my inferior Fi badly.


----------



## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

ENTJudgement said:


> Your brother sounds like someone that will influence my inferior Fi badly.


It’s not a good match theoretically, but I don’t see many ENTJ-ENTP pairings much at all anyway. Unlike INFP-INFJ which is also a bad match imo but the two tend to like it and I won’t harp on someone’s relationship if they are happy.


----------



## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

ENTJudgement said:


> #AnonymousOnlineSweetHeart
> #LionIRL


Of course sweetheart.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

intranst said:


> “What do you mean, your keys are right there!!”
> 
> -ENTJudgement


Would be what I'd normally say but after hearing that G.A story I'ma pick it up, wait for her to realize she lost them, go sit on the bench, wait for her to plod along then be like Hey, I found your keys over there, here you go!  GG ez Guardian Angel status.


----------



## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

@OrchidSugar ^^This is what you’re gonna be dealing with if you choose 3w4 over 8w7 lmao


----------



## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

Sorry, I’m trying too hard now.


----------



## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

Don't worry @intranst we're all used to your theories by now.



ENTJudgement said:


> Would be what I'd normally say but after hearing that G.A story I'ma pick it up, wait for her to realize she lost them, go sit on the bench, wait for her to plod along then be like Hey, I found your keys over there, here you go!  GG ez Guardian Angel status.


Well well well. ENTJ is a quick study 🥂


----------



## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

Well, if Andrew Tate is your typical ENTJ 8w7 than maybe not..


----------



## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

intranst said:


> Well, if Andrew Tate is your typical ENTJ 8w7 than maybe not..


See?


----------



## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

OrchidSugar said:


> See?


I was just kidding though, I actually wouldn’t mind the playful nature of finding my keys and making a show of it, could be endearing. As long as the keys are found lol


----------



## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

intranst said:


> I was just kidding though, I actually wouldn’t mind the playful nature of finding my keys and making a show of it, could be endearing. As long as the keys are found lol


Agreed. That was absolute chaos.


----------



## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

But back to the question, what would really make me fall in love with someone seriously is an Australian accent.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

intranst said:


> But back to the question, what would really make me fall in love with someone seriously is an Australian accent.


You forgot to tag beth.

Speaking of accents, not sure wtf accent I have, it's like a mix of American, NZ, British and Engrish in theory but people say I sound African, European, South African, Australian and people keep asking me to say "Get to the chopper".

@Ms. Aligned judge my accent.


----------



## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

ENTJudgement said:


> You forgot to tag beth.
> 
> Speaking of accents, not sure wtf accent I have, it's like a mix of American, NZ, British and Engrish in theory but people say I sound African, European, South African, Australian and people keep asking me to say "Get to the chopper".
> 
> @Ms. Aligned judge my accent.


I actually only said that to get your attention Thought you’d maybe pick up on it without being tagged but I guess NZ has a different accent lol pardon my ignorance.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

intranst said:


> I actually only said that to get your attention Thought you’d maybe pick up on it without being tagged but I guess NZ has a different accent lol pardon my ignorance.


You've heard my accent, do you think it sounded Australian? If so, thanks for not dissing my Engrish like Aligned <3


----------



## Gamine (5 mo ago)

ENTJudgement said:


> You've heard my accent, do you think it sounded Australian? If so, thanks for not dissing my Engrish like Aligned <3


You just need a wig and some other things  The bromance is real!!!


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

Gamine said:


> You just need a wig and some other things  The bromance is real!!!


Yo, final form of love transcends gender as discussed previously. (Still noHomo)


----------



## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

ENTJudgement said:


> Yo, final form of love transcends gender as discussed previously. (Still noHomo)


Too true, just like that other thread talking about intimacy without sex. Not referring to cuddling either but we can cuddle I guess, but dinner better be fire.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

intranst said:


> Too true, just like that other thread talking about intimacy without sex. Not referring to cuddling either but we can cuddle I guess, but dinner better be fire.


U alrdy kno dinner be fire with me cooking


----------



## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

You can’t handle my cooking.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

intranst said:


> You can’t handle my cooking.
> 
> View attachment 912508


Yo, you even made the egg properly #[email protected]


----------



## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

ENTJudgement said:


> Yo, you even made the egg properly #[email protected]


I’m at a restaurant lol


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

intranst said:


> I’m at a restaurant lol


Was gonna say, this guy is dedicated making that egg which takes forever to make for himself LOL turns out the lazy bastard just eats out, gonna come home and see takeaways on the table, no home cooked meal, rip.


----------



## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

ENTJudgement said:


> Was gonna say, this guy is dedicated making that egg which takes forever to make for himself LOL turns out the lazy bastard just eats out, gonna come home and see takeaways on the table, no home cooked meal, rip.


Aye I got good taste though, I assure you will have the best paired beverage for the takeout👌


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

intranst said:


> Aye I got good taste though, I assure you will have the best paired beverage for the takeout👌


Imagine being replaced by an Yelp APP.


----------



## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

shameless said:


> Everyone is joking about it. But what makes you fall in love with someone?


I don't know. Suddenly their happiness is at least as (if not more) important than my own. I go out of my way to do things for her and she's on my mind frequently throughout my day. When I make big decisions, I think about whether or not it will affect her. She becomes an integral part of my life. The roots run deep. They sure as hell hurt if they're pulled out. Do I want them to keep up with my mind? No, few people could. She adds something to what I already have. There's a balance between us that shifts and moves with the tides. Whatever we are apart, we are more together.


----------



## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

UpClosePersonal said:


> Why are you single would you say?


Your signature is the first time I've read an apology against objective logic. At least it's a well constructed argument.


----------



## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

tanstaafl28 said:


> Your signature is the first time I've read an apology against objective logic. At least it's a well constructed argument.


Yes I meant to compliment @UpClosePersonal on that as well. But what apology lol?


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

OrchidSugar said:


> Yes I meant to compliment @UpClosePersonal on that as well. But what apology lol?


RIP got jebaited into reading a signature stating the obvious.


----------



## UpClosePersonal (Apr 18, 2014)

tanstaafl28 said:


> Your signature is the first time I've read an apology against objective logic. At least it's a well constructed argument.


If what I post is half baked and a challengeable generality, it means I didn't consider the thread worthy of much thought.
When I feel I have something important to say, I try to get specific and choose my words carefully. Usually there's no challenge on those posts.


----------



## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

UpClosePersonal said:


> If what I post is half baked and a challengeable generality, it means I didn't consider the thread worthy of much thought.
> When I feel I have something important to say, I try to get specific and choose my words carefully. Usually there's no challenge on those posts.


The sign of a person who wants to be understood clearly. I can respect that.


----------



## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

OrchidSugar said:


> Yes I meant to compliment @UpClosePersonal on that as well. But what apology lol?


Like many words, it has more than one meaning.  

*Apologetics*
a·pol·o·get·ics

/əˌpäləˈjediks/
https://www.google.com/search?newwi...2ahUKEwi-teCokfP7AhUMD1kFHYdjCYcQ3eEDegQIDhAK
_noun_

reasoned arguments or writings in justification of something, typically a theory or religious doctrine.
"free market apologetics"
*Apologist *
a·pol·o·gist
/əˈpäləjəst/
https://www.google.com/search?newwi...2ahUKEwiNsZqJkfP7AhVeFVkFHQU6BSMQ3eEDegQIDhAK
_noun_

a person who offers an argument in defense of something controversial.
"critics said he was an *apologist for* colonialism"


----------



## Joe Black (Apr 1, 2015)

THIS....


ENFPathetic said:


> Making a habit of consistently treating someone really well is what makes me fall in love with them. How long this process takes depends. For example, I find my wife attractive, she's really kind and considerate, and very passionate about her interests in life. She shows me a great deal of respect, no matter how much of my silly side I show her and treats me like a king. Loving her is incredibly easy. But make no mistake. If I take what we have for granted and stop making her a priority in my life, I will fall out of love with her despite everything she does for me. And if let's say she did a u-turn and started treating me like shit, but I continued to treat her really well, I bet I would still be in love with her, even if she did everything to make me fall out of love.
> 
> Amazing question btw. I'd probably still be in meaningless relationships with women I don't really care about if I didn't seriously ask myself that question roughly 3-4 years ago.
> 
> Sometimes I wonder if I was just slow on the uptake and most people know this from a young age. And that when they ask questions like this, what they really mean is, "what makes it easy for you to love someone?", and I'm taking it too literally.


AND THIS...


Flabarac Brupip said:


> I'm convinced most people that "fall in love" are actually in love with the idea or dream of love, or they're in love with their idealizations of the other person, rather than being in love with the actual person.


Being "accidentally in love" is O so romantic and far more overrated than being "intentionally in love". Accidental & external causes to fall in love is a helpful catalyst, but shouldn't be the driving engine for the rest of the relationship, otherwise it can lead to "accidentally falling out of love" too. Shifting from an accidental & external locus of control to an intentional and internal locus is what @ENFPathetic describes. More steering of the ship rather than taking a rollercoaster ride.

BUT.... to get off my high horse and just answering the damn question...
"Looks hot... can have lots of interesting conversations with... gives me full attention and esteem... similar wavelength (finishing off eachothers samiches)... and if I happen to be feeling a tad lonely - it magnifies the feeling. ALSO absence of negative first impressions."


----------



## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

I'm a little late to this thread but was thinking about it, and can with all honesty say, most likely nothing. Lol!


----------



## ENFPathetic (Apr 3, 2018)

ENTJudgement said:


> Yeah, exactly, when the equation is;
> 
> You have my best interests at heart = I have your best interests at heart
> 
> ...


I know exactly what you mean. And even though I know the answer is to stay calm and have the uncomfortable conversation, it's easier said than done. But that's what it is. Trust fluctuates. And things said in moments of heightened emotion can make things worse. So stay calm and have the uncomfortable conversation. I can't emphasize the second part enough. I think I'm actually talking to myself at this point lol. I'm good at staying calm, but I'm shit at having the uncomfortable conversations. I'd much rather forget about it and move on to more fun things.

Anyway, that formulae is beautiful. It's the key to success in any relationship. It's not pointless at all. It simply requires trust, and that's not always an easy thing to come by. Especially if you grew up under the influence of mainstream media.

I was lucky that my wife had a different mentality when it comes to relationships and that I was mature enough to listen to her take. Because the difference between that formulae working and it being a pipe dream is whether you approach your relationship with a 50/50 mindset or a 100/100 mindset. And the difference between having a 50/50 mindset and a 100/100 mindset is essentially trust. So have the uncomfortable conversations, because it's the first step to fixing the cracks in your trust.

What are you suspicious of? Did she do something to betray your expectations of her? Or has she failed to do something that you expected of her? Is there room to give her the benefit of the doubt? Are your expectations reasonable? Is she even aware of your expectations? Approach with caution. And preferably after you've both calmed down. Forgiveness, understanding, communication, trust. That's so much work man. But it's worth it. Your formulae is that good.

Deep down we know that no matter how strong we normally are, we will have our moments of weakness, and being confident that should that time come, you have a partner who will put your needs before their own, is reassuring in a way that's difficult get across with words. And then to have that same partner show you that she sees you as her pillar is incredibly empowering. It makes you 10 times the man. And the only way to achieve this is through that formulae. It's worth the trouble.


----------



## Gamine (5 mo ago)

Ms. Aligned said:


> I'm a little late to this thread but was thinking about it, and can with all honesty say, most likely nothing. Lol!


----------



## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

@Ms. Aligned You “missed” out on the NFP-NTJ circle jerk.


----------



## ENFPathetic (Apr 3, 2018)

Joe Black said:


> THIS....
> 
> 
> AND THIS...
> ...


I should pay you to translate my posts lol. You can make the same points, using far less words, and without sacrificing any of the meaning.


----------



## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

Gamine said:


>


What did I do to you, for you to want to curse me like that? Lol! 


intranst said:


> @Ms. Aligned You “missed” out on the NFP-NTJ circle jerk.


Lol, I shall go back and read the full thread.


----------



## ENFPathetic (Apr 3, 2018)

intranst said:


> You can’t handle my cooking.
> 
> View attachment 912508


Food looks good. Container looks plastic and cheap. Maybe it's the angle.


----------



## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

ENFPathetic said:


> Food looks good. Container looks plastic and cheap. Maybe it's the angle.


That “container” was hand thrown in my ceramics class.


----------



## ENFPathetic (Apr 3, 2018)

intranst said:


> That “container” was hand thrown in my ceramics class.


That's pretty dope. It probably looks a lot better in person. But even if it doesn't, it has a cool story and that more than makes up for it.


----------



## Gamine (5 mo ago)

Ms. Aligned said:


> What did I do to you, for you to want to curse me like that? Lol!
> 
> Lol, I shall go back and read the full thread.


I did not. Yet...


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

Antiparticle said:


> I can't be bribed (with material things).


So there is no recourse, one mistake and I’m out? Jesus, and people thought NTJs were brutal, this shit neklvl yo.


----------



## Antiparticle (Jan 8, 2013)

ENTJudgement said:


> So there is no recourse, one mistake and I’m out? Jesus, and people thought NTJs were brutal, this shit neklvl yo.


ENTJs = force of nature, 4th force, making things done "or else"
INFJs = higher force, you never see it coming


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

Antiparticle said:


> ENTJs = force of nature, 4th force, making things done "or else"
> INFJs = higher force, you never see it coming


:’( From my perspective all I did was help u do your laundry, made a mistake, offered to correct said mistake + offer extra compensation and apology for said mistake. And all I get is a “nope, I’ve concluded that this relationship is over and there’s nothing u can do to fix it, goodbye”.

Rip, INFJs are scary man, #traumatised


----------



## Antiparticle (Jan 8, 2013)

ENTJudgement said:


> :’( From my perspective all I did was help u do your laundry, made a mistake, offered to correct said mistake + offer extra compensation and apology for said mistake. And all I get is a “nope, I’ve concluded that this relationship is over and there’s nothing u can do to fix it, goodbye”.
> 
> Rip, INFJs are scary man, #traumatised


It's interesting how you give impression of a sensor. 😊


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

Antiparticle said:


> It's interesting how you give impression of a sensor. 😊


What would you type me as then, I’m sure we’ve chatted long enough through the months.

Nekminit ESTJ, ggrip.


----------



## Antiparticle (Jan 8, 2013)

ENTJudgement said:


> What would you type me as then, I’m sure we’ve chatted long enough through the months.
> 
> Nekminit ESTJ, ggrip.


ESFP-2w3?


----------



## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

Antiparticle said:


> I am the type that feels at home at work, and the opposite. Need someone with similar worldview, keeping distance. 😂


How you gonna keep distance in the same house lol. You wanna live on opposite wings?



Antiparticle said:


> I can't be bribed (with material things).





ENTJudgement said:


> So there is no recourse, one mistake and I’m out? Jesus, and people thought NTJs were brutal, this shit neklvl yo.


@Antiparticle can only be bribed with clean morals. Try harder!


----------



## Antiparticle (Jan 8, 2013)

OrchidSugar said:


> How you gonna keep distance in the same house lol. You wanna live on opposite wings?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


We have to live in the same house??

Correction: All E's are out.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

Antiparticle said:


> We have to live in the same house??
> 
> Correction: All E's are out.


Ah she just wants to be alone, gotcha.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

Antiparticle said:


> ESFP-2w3?


Whoa ESFP, I will consider it, never even looked at that type lol.


----------



## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

Lol I promise you, @ENTJudgement is doing his name’s sake well.


----------



## Antiparticle (Jan 8, 2013)

ENTJudgement said:


> Whoa ESFP, I will consider it, never even looked at that type lol.


 I was joking, but look at the type so you understand the joke. 👽


----------



## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

He does have hella strong Se though but that’s not out of the realm of possibility.


----------



## SouDesuNyan (Sep 8, 2015)

intranst said:


> Lol I promise you, @ENTJudgement is doing his name’s sake well.


Is it intentional to spell judgment incorrectly though?


----------



## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

Antiparticle said:


> We have to live in the same house??
> 
> Correction: All E's are out.


Oh you want a special friend 😏


----------



## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

SouDesuNyan said:


> Is it intentional to spell judgment incorrectly though?


US/UK difference


----------



## SouDesuNyan (Sep 8, 2015)

OrchidSugar said:


> US/UK difference


oh, I see. I thought it might be a joke.


----------



## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

That would be funny. ENTJ wouldn’t admit to being infallible though


----------



## SouDesuNyan (Sep 8, 2015)

OrchidSugar said:


> That would be funny. ENTJ wouldn’t admit to being infallible though


I think it depends on the ENTJ. For example, Joseph Stalin would probably admit that he's infallible.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

OrchidSugar said:


> That would be funny. ENTJ wouldn’t admit to being infallible though


I’m only infallible until Proven fallible


----------



## Antiparticle (Jan 8, 2013)

ENTJudgement said:


> …I go and do good deeds for others? Look honey, I’m helping this hobo over here! Am I forgiven??


Fi knows when Fi knows. 😂


----------



## Miharu (Apr 1, 2015)

If they’re all the things I struggle to be. If I can learn from them. If they’re kind, reasonable, and have similar values.


----------



## Miharu (Apr 1, 2015)

Nevermind. If you answered the phone for me, I’ll marry you.


----------



## Antiparticle (Jan 8, 2013)

ENTJudgement said:


> Just looked up ESFP, awwww you’re so sweet Anti, complimenting me by implying that I’m funny and entertaining you <3


You have so many issues only INFP can help you. 😇


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

Antiparticle said:


> You have so many issues only INFP can help you. 😇


 Are u trying to say that I’m broken or something?


----------



## Antiparticle (Jan 8, 2013)

ENTJudgement said:


> Are u trying to say that I’m broken or something?


Issues within the normal boundary.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

Antiparticle said:


> Issues within the normal boundary.


What is the normal boundary?
I call upon my frenz!
@OrchidSugar 
@intranst
Translate this cryptic message for me, plsss.


----------



## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

Don’t listen to her man, she doesn’t know you like I do…

INFP<3


----------



## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

ENTJudgement said:


> What is the normal boundary?
> I call upon my frenz!
> @OrchidSugar
> @intranst
> Translate this cryptic message for me, plsss.


She’s saying you’re completely normal.


----------



## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

ENTJudgement said:


> What is the normal boundary?
> I call upon my frenz!
> @OrchidSugar
> @intranst
> Translate this cryptic message for me, plsss.


Haven’t we derailed this thread long enough?

But don’t listen to her ENTJ. She has misplaced anger and PTSD from experiences with a different ENTJ. She is on the road to healing and recovery 😅🙏


----------



## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

Me and @OrchidSugar will be sitting on @ENTJudgement shoulders whispering things that make sense but are not optimal solutions for the given problem.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

intranst said:


> Me and @OrchidSugar will be sitting on @ENTJudgement shoulders whispering things that make sense but are not optimal solutions for the given problem.


Make sense > Optimal solution given the problem.
GG I’m now Ti dom.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

intranst said:


> She’s saying you’re completely normal.


As expected of pro translator, would never have guessed that meaning in a million years.


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

OrchidSugar said:


> Haven’t we derailed this thread long enough?
> 
> But don’t listen to her ENTJ. She has misplaced anger and PTSD from experiences with a different ENTJ. She is on the road to healing and recovery 😅🙏


oic, I’m a scapegoat punchbag to her coz I’m ENTJ. Thank you wise translators.


----------



## Antiparticle (Jan 8, 2013)

ENTJudgement said:


> oic, I’m a scapegoat punchbag to her coz I’m ENTJ.


Better go catch up that charity work 😇


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

Antiparticle said:


> Better go catch up that charity work 😇


I paid taxes to govt :3


----------



## Antiparticle (Jan 8, 2013)

ENTJudgement said:


> I paid taxes to govt :3


Same as everyone, because it’s the law?


----------



## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

Antiparticle said:


> Same as everyone, because it’s the law?


It’s charitable coz a lot of it goes to the poor people :3


----------

