# Unsupported ambitions. Even my parents have no faith......



## Neon Rainbows (Nov 25, 2011)

I am 19 years old. I've had a pretty tough life. I didn't grow up with much stability. Between bouncing around relatives houses and eventually foster care, I did not get much stability and support. I've been to juvenile hall and did the whole juvenile probation thing. I am finally trying to make something of my life. I feel as if I am not getting any support from anyone I turn to. The situation in short is that I am about to enlist in the US Army. My parents laughed it off when I told them. I do not have any support in my decision. So I am asking the wonderful people of PerC to help me in my venture. Can I have some sort of support?


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## e22881 (Jan 6, 2012)

For how long did you think about this massive decision? (i am sincere, and not implying anything, although i see that i might when u reply)


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## Tyche (May 12, 2011)

Well, let's talk about this decision first. Why have you decided to join the military? Why that branch? Have you spoken to a recruiter? I would be willing to discuss this with you, in particular because I work with some veterans.


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## Neon Rainbows (Nov 25, 2011)

I decided to do military service because it is something that i have dreamed of since i was a kid. I want to make my life into something great. I initially wanted to do the Coast Guard and was sure on going to talk to them when I went to the recruiting office. When I got to the office I felt in my heart that I should do the Army. Knowing I have previously prayed on this and had friends doing the same I followed my heart into the Army recruiters office. I am proud I did. Went to do my ASVAB and I got an 88. I am pretty much able to do any position. I have no doubts in my decision. It is only made difficult when I have others with doubts.


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## Subtle Murder (May 19, 2012)

I understand how you feel. I have never really felt support from my family to follow my dreams or pursue my goals, and it only made me put them off and feel miserable. I can't tell you whether or not the Army is a good fit for you, that is something you have to decide for yourself. And in doing that, be confident in whatever decision you come to. My mother still does not support me in the things that I want to do, but I feel much better doing them than not doing them because I was waiting for support I was never going to get. Trust me, if this is the right thing for you to do, you will feel confident in your decision, and you won't need anyone's support.  For what it's worth, though, good luck.


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## Word Dispenser (May 18, 2012)

Neon Rainbows said:


> I am 19 years old. I've had a pretty tough life. I didn't grow up with much stability. Between bouncing around relatives houses and eventually foster care, I did not get much stability and support. I've been to juvenile hall and did the whole juvenile probation thing. I am finally trying to make something of my life. I feel as if I am not getting any support from anyone I turn to. The situation in short is that I am about to enlist in the US Army. My parents laughed it off when I told them. I do not have any support in my decision. So I am asking the wonderful people of PerC to help me in my venture. Can I have some sort of support?


Well, that's an interesting choice you've made. I'd go to the army for the skills I could learn, more than anything else. I'd never go for 'the sake of the country'. War and destruction is pointless.

But, that aside... It would be an exciting, and different kind of atmosphere. Completely different than anything I've ever experienced. I'd be exposed to tons of new skills, and it would be an enormous challenge. So I could see myself going for it, because I love a challenge and learning new things. I know I would hate it, but it'd be worth the experience, I'd think.

You'd get a lot of discipline. That's something I sorely lack. You'd probably learn how to get organized and to think more organized. I could rule the world with those kinds of attributes.

Anyway, good luck. Don't listen to what anybody says. You've decided this is what you want, so go for it. Just don't expect to get more out of it than you'd put in, like anything in life.


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## Tyche (May 12, 2011)

I'm sure you know all the risks and such with joining the military, particularly right now. However you might not be thinking about your life after the military. Not that I want to dissuade your decision, but I think it's important to know all of the facts. And the reality is, veterans aren't treated well afterwards. People treat them like crap, throwing bricks at their cars and verbally accosting them. There's a lot of run around when it comes to benefits, a lot of red tape concerning those benefits, such as mandatory therapy and prescriptions. There's a definite mental toll that serving in the military takes. It's a tough path to take, to be honest. One of my coworkers told me about a month ago that he hates being a veteran. 

If you believe you have the strength and determination to do it, though, then I say go for it. Just be aware that life won't be exactly as the recruiter describes. Best of luck to you, this is a tough decision and one I grappled with for a time. Do what makes the most sense to you.


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

Who's this person I see in your avatar and why is she not supporting you? :/


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## heterogeneous (Oct 10, 2011)

If the military is something you want to do, go for it. But make sure you give it due consideration. Don't simply leap into it because you feel like you have to or it's the only option for you.


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## Temur (Jun 14, 2012)

Because it probably comes across as you being silly and wanting to spite them.

Btw misleading title; joining the military is hardly "ambitions"


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## Stelmaria (Sep 30, 2011)

Neon Rainbows said:


> Can I have some sort of support?


True support is not necessarily the same as agreeing with your decisions after the fact. Many people don't like to give support for something they feel strongly against, particularly if they were not consulted during the decision making process.

This may offend some people here, but joining the US army is not even something I would wish upon my enemies. If you were in a more apoliticial country, where the only action you see is likely to be self-defence, then that is a different question.

A culture of coverup: rape in the ranks of the US military | guardian.co.uk (June 14th 2012)

Q&A with Naomi Wolf and Anu Bhagwati: sexual assault in the military | Comment is free | guardian.co.uk

Death and Injury Rates of U.S. Military Personnel in Iraq (in the Military Medicine Journal)
If you see action, you have greater than 1/50 chance of becoming wounded in action and having a serious injury for the rest of your life.
Not to mention PTSD.
PTSD in Veterans - Rates of PTSD in Veterans

Sometimes dreams are just that - dreams. Sometimes the reality can be more of a nightmare...


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## Neon Rainbows (Nov 25, 2011)

To everyone who thinks that I do not know what I am getting myself into, I know exactly what I am doing. I know what the military has to offer and I also know what parts of the military i am not so fond of. I've done a lot of soul searching on this one. I know what I am getting myself into. Thank you everyone for your support. But to the ones who do not fully support. Do not post on this thread if your not going to be respectful of my decisions. 
I am looking into more options than just Army. I am also looking into Air Force and Navy. I received an 88 on my ASVAB and if I join I will definitely not be very limited in my options.


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## heterogeneous (Oct 10, 2011)

Neon Rainbows said:


> To everyone who thinks that I do not know what I am getting myself into, I know exactly what I am doing. I know what the military has to offer and I also know what parts of the military i am not so fond of. I've done a lot of soul searching on this one. I know what I am getting myself into. Thank you everyone for your support. But to the ones who do not fully support. Do not post on this thread if your not going to be respectful of my decisions.
> I am looking into more options than just Army. I am also looking into Air Force and Navy. I received an 88 on my ASVAB and if I join I will definitely not be very limited in my options.


Then good luck for the future! ^.^


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## Razare (Apr 21, 2009)

Neon Rainbows said:


> When I got to the office I felt in my heart that I should do the Army. Knowing I have previously prayed on this and had friends doing the same I followed my heart into the Army recruiters office. I am proud I did. Went to do my ASVAB and I got an 88. I am pretty much able to do any position. I have no doubts in my decision. It is only made difficult when I have others with doubts.


Well, you got God's support. That's a better support than I or anyone else can give.

I'm also inspired by the way you found your path, and know in my heart you'll succeed.


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## Bear987 (May 13, 2012)

@Neon Rainbows

What is the significance of you sharing past experiences that were difficult for you, combined with your ambition to join the military? In what way is you joining the Army connected to the fact that you grew up with little love, affirmation and stability?

I am asking you this, because in your post you present us with these two subjects. What relation do you see between the two - your ambition and your past?

I will not tell you to either go ahead and enlist, or to do something completely different, because this is your life and your decision. You still seem to be on the fence for some reason -- in your initial post anyway. Your subsequent posts in this thread seem to signal that you feel uncomfortable about the way others have responded, I reckon you especially dislike the posts that tell you that you are limiting yourself by enlisting, or the ones that speak ill of the Army.

So, please, focus on the questions I wrote down above, because they are meant to help you get a clearer picture about who you are, what you want, and most importantly: why you want what you want.


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## Razare (Apr 21, 2009)

I think the military is a great path if someone is sure it's what they want to do. Neon Rainbows sounds pretty confident about the decision, she's just upset at her lack of support among the family.

Some people don't want to go to college or can't reasonably do so... yet they'd still like to move out of their current environment and make a path in life. I have a cousin who chose the military for this very reason. Going into the military gives you that independence, while cultivating a decent work-ethic in a person, and your pay accumulates while you're serving, so when you're out, you can get your own place to stay.

In my area at least, kids of her generation can't move out unless they're going to college... even then, they're just living in dorms, or apartments with many roommates. At the end of college, there's no guarantee of a job, only a guarantee of debts to pay off. It's nearly impossible here to become independent of your family, and pay your own way... even with a college education it's difficult.

I'm 27 and have a college degree, and the only way I support myself is by living in a house owned by my parents. It was a spare they weren't using, that isn't in good enough condition to rent. If it weren't for this, I'd still be living with them because I could in no way afford a $500 rent payment each month, even though I have a decent job for this area and a small business on the side.

It's tough these days, and if you're starting-out without support to begin with, I can't imagine how tough it is to try and establish yourself in the adult world. The military gives a person a good launching pad.

Whether it's the right decision or not, it's really for her to decide. Sometimes we have to experience things before we're able to figure things out in our life. Through the experiences, we learn who we truly are and what we really want from life.


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

This thread is priceless.

Seriously.

Oh, and enjoy the military.


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## DJArendee (Nov 27, 2009)

lmao...

dude the military fucking sucks ass. if you're going to join the military just be prepared to really really really fucking want to serve your country, hard.

Seriously if you're in the military for anything else chances are you'll hate your life in some capacity. Your 5 years will be spent pondering what you plan on doing when you get out.


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## Neon Rainbows (Nov 25, 2011)

Bear987 said:


> @_Neon Rainbows_
> 
> What is the significance of you sharing past experiences that were difficult for you, combined with your ambition to join the military? In what way is you joining the Army connected to the fact that you grew up with little love, affirmation and stability?
> 
> ...


I must answer by saying that the main place I wish to get support from would be my parents. They have never supported much and they cause doubts in my mind everytime they do not approve of what I do.


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## Neon Rainbows (Nov 25, 2011)

To everyone who has posted their feedback, I want to thank you. I've taken time to consider everything in my life and the reasons behind me joining the military. I have decided to hold off. I am supposed to be getting married next year and also my SO is going to join as well. So I am waiting until after we are married. That gives me enough time to consider my reasons for doing this.


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## Bear987 (May 13, 2012)

Neon Rainbows said:


> I must answer by saying that the main place I wish to get support from would be my parents. They have never supported much and they cause doubts in my mind everytime they do not approve of what I do.


Maybe your parents feel inclined to reply with ridicule, because they are afraid to lose you - not because the Army can be a dangerous place, but because they need you. Even crappy parents need their children, just so they have someone to blame and hurt for their own pain. It is selfish, but it happens. Some parents even (subconsciously) hate it when their children venture into the world and make something of themselves - out of jealousy, mostly.

Since you cannot change how your parents feel about things, perhaps it would be best to just go and make something of yourself - maybe their support will follow suit some day. Good luck with whatever you decide.


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## Splodge (Jan 2, 2012)

Temur said:


> Because it probably comes across as you being silly and wanting to spite them.
> 
> Btw misleading title; joining the military is hardly "ambitions"


Pfft.

*am·bi·tion/amˈbiSHən/
*
Noun:


A strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work.
Desire and determination to achieve success.



It may not be earth shattering in scope, but joining the military qualifies - especially for a 19-year-old deciding on a future.


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## Neon Rainbows (Nov 25, 2011)

Splodge said:


> Pfft.
> 
> *am·bi·tion/amˈbiSHən/
> *
> ...


Thank you very much. I used the work ambition mainly to show that it has been a dream of mine. I have wanted to do the military since I was 7 years old. And I have now come to the point that I am able to join. I want to do this with everything in me.


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