# Intertype Relations discussion: Relations of Supervision, Supervisor-Supervisee



## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

I would like to start a discussion about Supervision Relations in socionics as this seems to be a common type of relationship encountered among friends and romantic partners.

Has anyone been in these types of relations? What are your and your friend's/partner's socionics types (left or right Supervision ring?) Who sought contact first / who pursued whom first? How does your experience match with their socionics description? Is there anything that you could add to this profile? Anything that you did not find to match your situation?


Types that are in relations of Supervision are as follows, with type preceding being the Supervisor to type that comes after:
Left ring of Supervision: 
...> ENTp > ISTj > ESFp > INFj > ENTp > ...
...> ISFp > ENFj > INTp > ESTj > ISFp > ...
Right ring of Supervision: 
...> ESFj > ISTp > ENTj > INFp > ESFj > ...
...> INTj > ENFp > ISFj > ESTp > INTj > ...

If you don't know your Socionics type, check the links and tests in this thread: http://personalitycafe.com/socionics-forum/116599-socionics-tests-links-resources.html

Description:

These relations are also asymmetrical as are relations of Benefit. One partner, called the Supervisor, is always in a more favourable position in respect to the other partner who is known as Supervisee. 

Relations of Supervision can give the impression that Supervisor is constantly watching every step of the Supervisee. The latter usually feels this control even if the Supervisor does not say or do anything. The explanation for this is that the Supervisee weak point is defenceless against the Supervisor's strong point. This makes the Supervisee nervous and expect the worse. 

Although the Supervisor can seem self-satisfied, petty, faultfinding and narrative, the Supervisee pays attention to their actions and considers the Supervisor as consequential. The Supervisee normally wants to gain recognition and commendation from the Supervisor. However, it may seem like the Supervisor always undervalues the abilities of the Supervisee. This stimulates the Supervisee into proving their own worthiness with various actions, yet there is little chance that they will succeed. 

The Supervisor sees the Supervisee as quite interesting and capable, but incomplete and therefore in need of some help and advice. The Supervisee does not respond to this aid as expected and this will often increase the Supervisor's attempts to change the Supervisee. Because the Supervisee naturally does not understand what it is that the Supervisor wants from them, this may irritate the Supervisor, who thinks that the Supervisee simply does not want to understand. 

In relations of Supervision it may also appear as if the Supervisor patronises the Supervisee, which can be quite obtrusive for the latter. When there are more than two people present, the Supervisee often attempts to release themselves from the control of the Supervisor by starting arguments for the sake of it or by attempting to manoeuvre themselves into the commanding position. Unfortunately, these attempts lead nowhere. The Supervisor may think instead that the Supervisee simply requires more attention. 

Supervision partners often look like good friends. The reason for this is that in these relations both partners can sense their social value: the Supervisor as a "guardian angel", without whom the Supervisee will get into trouble, and the Supervisee as the object of attention. 

(more info about relations of supervision)


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## surra (Oct 1, 2012)

Maybe I could share my own experience about this relationship style, too. My own type is LII and I have plenty of experiance with IEE's. I love this type, and some of my closest friends have belonged to this type, but it has been hard sometimes. I also had two teachers of this type and some bad experiences with them.

I have had two IEE friends and the other one has turned her back to me. She accused me of constantly watching over her, which was ultimately her projection. When dealing with these relationships, projection is something you should be aware of. She was constantly on her alarm with me and watching _me_ from the corner of her eyes because she sensed some bad vibe from me. I got the same feedback from my teachers and was quite baffled, because I don't pay that kind of attention to anyone really.

I really like this type and get along with them fine otherwise, but now I'm trying to avoid them more. The other IEE teacher always gave me a little lowered grade than other sports teachers, for personal reasons. I don't want that type of trouble in my life anymore that relations of supervision bring. 

So from my experience, it's the supervisee who is alert and watching the supervisor's steps, not always but often enough.


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

surra said:


> Maybe I could share my own experience about this relationship style, too. My own type is LII and I have plenty of experiance with IEE's. I love this type, and some of my closest friends have belonged to this type, but it has been hard sometimes. I also had two teachers of this type and some bad experiences with them.
> 
> I have had two IEE friends and the other one has turned her back to me. She accused me of constantly watching over her, which was ultimately her projection. When dealing with these relationships, projection is something you should be aware of. She was constantly on her alarm with me and watching _me_ from the corner of her eyes because she sensed some bad vibe from me. I got the same feedback from my teachers and was quite baffled, because I don't pay that kind of attention to anyone really.
> 
> ...


I second ENFPs. I get along great with ENFPs and INFPs in general. I just like them. They always make me feel good  I second the part about projection. They can be a little rough sometimes when they become abrasive which they often can be, but it's still hard to not look up to them.


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## Siren (Jun 25, 2011)

This is socionics, so I'm an ENTj in a relationship with an ISTp. He is the supervisor and I'm the supervisee. A lot of the tone of the description rings true for me, though the specifics do not. He actually started out as my supervisor on a project at work, so we have sort of fallen into these roles as our relationship has developed. I definitely see him as someone I look up to. He is one of the best people I have ever known. I feel like I need to work to "deserve" him if that makes sense at all.

But then again it's an LDR, so that makes things different anyway.


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## Zero11 (Feb 7, 2010)

I was working on some Reinin data to save it and make it more appealing and this came out of it 


 Jungian/Reinin Process Result Irrationals (Px)  G(ILI,SEE)A(ILE,SEI)_ Supervisee_ B(IEI,SLE)D(IEE,SLI)_ Supervisor_ Rationals (Jx)  B(EIE,LSI)D(EII,LSE) _Supervisor_ A(ESE,LII)G(ESI,LIE) _Supervisee_
 

 Jungian/Reinin Process Result Irrationals (Px)  G(ILI,SEE)A(ILE,SEI)_ Supervisor_ B(IEI,SLE)D(IEE,SLI)_ Supervisee_ Rationals (Jx)  D(LSE,EII)B(LSI,EIE) _Supervisee_ G(LIE,ESI)A(LII,ESE) _Supervisor_
 

 Jungian/Reinin Process Result Irrationals (Px)  G(ILI,SEE)A(ILE,SEI)_ Benefactor (-)_ B(IEI,SLE)D(IEE,SLI)_ Beneficiary (+)_ Rationals (Jx)  D(EII,LSE)B(EIE,LSI) _Beneficiary (+)_ G(ESI,LIE)A(ESE,LII) _Benefactor (-)_
 

 Jungian/Reinin Process Result Irrationals (Px)  G(ILI,SEE)A(ILE,SEI)_ Beneficiary (+)_ B(IEI,SLE)D(IEE,SLI)_ Benefactor (-)_ Rationals (Jx)  B(LSI,EIE)D(LSE,EII) _Benefactor (-)_ A(LII,ESE)G(LIE,ESI) _Beneficiary (+)_



 Relationship of Social Request / of Benefit Relationship of Supervision  (-) Benefactor; (-) Requestor (1.HA, 2.ignore)
(+) Beneficiary; (+) Receiver (1.demonst, 2.DS)  Supervisor (1.creative, 2.Role)
Supervisee (1.PoLR, 2.leading)
 (confronted with: X function of the partner type is his/her X function)​ 
 Relationship of Social Request / of Benefit Relationship of Supervision (-) Benefactor; (-) Requestor (1.HA, 2.ignore)
(+) Beneficiary; (+) Receiver (1.demonst, 2.DS) Supervisor (1.creative, 2.Role)
Supervisee (1.PoLR, 2.leading)
 (confronted with: X function of the partner type is his/her X function)​


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## GreenCoyote (Nov 2, 2009)

I am in a realtionship of supervision with my sister.

She is ISFp SEI and I am ENFj EIE.

She says she is overly invested in my problems, in which case I thought she was my benefit relation (thought I was an EII) but from the description it also makes sense if she is my supervisor.

I will often try to persuade my parents (usually succedding) in doing fun activities all the time and going to the nicest resturants and constantly seeing movies. This works up until my sister halts the proceddings saying something along the lines of "I don't think we should go to a movie." I assume she does this to suck up to my parents and be the good daughter that is trying to save money. 

On a birghter note. my sister and I share bonds from childhood and I often led out in the area of providing movies and experiences as children. I led us in interpretive dance sessions and chose anime for us to watch as our first movie experiences. I know she appreciates this because it is incorporated into her Si history. She will watch these movies again and again for comfort and likes to bring them up when I come home. This makes me feel good.

She does not appreciate some things i like. like trance music. she wants to make shirts that say "say no. to techno." which I laugh but she absolutly can't stand the music. and I need to listen to it 24-7 or I start to get restless.


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## Seamaid (Aug 31, 2009)

* bump * any more stories of Supervision relations?


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## Jeremy8419 (Mar 2, 2015)

INFj

Two Supervisor types at work that are coworkers. One less seniority. One higher seniority. Higher one can get me to do stuff other coworkers couldn't, by acting pissed off and condescending. Less seniority one can get me to do stuff others usually can't by getting pissed off and me not wanting to have to hear him gripe.

One Supervisee type at work. Less seniority. One sentence on work relations, morality, or work ethics, and he does what I basically tell him to. I work none of the same positions as this guy btw, so he has no real reason to listen.

Being "correct" in general in the situations seems to be required.


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## Monkey King (Nov 16, 2010)

My sister is INFp. Growing up, I didn't like her much because I thought she got away with things that I would have not gotten away with. I felt that if my parents didn't do their job then I believed I should "discipline" her. Discipline is too strong of a word here. After going to college, I didn't pay attention to family much so our relationship was neutral and I had forgotten most of what I did. But she remembered. 

Currently, our relationship is going well. I try to support her when asked but she knows me so well that she usually prepares herself mentally before getting my perspective and that I do things with good intention. I asked her how she relates to me and she said she admires my strengths but feels suffocated when I start telling her how she is wrong on something. I thought it was constructive criticism and while she does appreciate the criticism she needs encouragement as well which I tend not to do until consistency in action is apparent. An easy example is when I was teaching her how to drive. Conversation went something like this: 


Her: I don't like driving with you even though I think you're good at driving. 
Me: That doesn't make sense. 
Her: You always point out the bad stuff. 
Me: Well how can you fix it if you don't know what's wrong? 
Her: If you tell me ONLY the bad stuff I'm doing then I will think I am only doing bad stuff. 
Me: No, when I say nothing at all it means you're doing well. 
Her: You can't just say it? 
Me: Why don't just assume it since now I'm telling you what silence means. 

So when there's conflict I'm guessing that conversation is how it plays out most of the time. 

For me I've only ever gotten annoyed with her when she storms off mad and gives me the silent treatment. For me, if it's not important enough to talk about it then there's no reason to fix it. I won't satisfy her passive aggression. I just don't operate that way. If she wants me to change something she has to let me know and ALSO make me understand why I should consider it.


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## ALongTime (Apr 19, 2014)

I haven't looked much in to intertypes other than dual and conflict. It's difficult to be absolutely sure of the other person's type.

So I would be a supervisor to an ILE, right? OK, I had a colleague once who I'm very sure was an ILE. I'm writing this before I've even read the description of supervisor/supervisee, I've read it some time in the past but not recently, so I will be less influenced. We had identical jobs, equal status within the company, worked a lot together, we had similar education and experience, we both joined around the same time, and we were both similar ages and same gender so this should be a good example as there are virtually no other social factors...

I can definitely relate to being a supervisor in the conventional definition of the word. I had huge respect for this ILE as a person, he was extremely intelligent, very capable of grasping things quickly and innovative, he was a good person and I admired his quirkiness. But... I saw him as very careless, and with a tendency to do things without thinking it through, he took risks all the time. I didn't trust him, basically, I worried that he would make a costly mistake somewhere along the line. I was also worried, given that we worked together so closely, that he would do something that would reflect badly on me. That said, I would have probably defended him and taken the fall if something like that had happened. So I ended up assigning him tasks which would be more difficult to mess up, and I think he was probably aware of that but brushed it off. We were both actually quite aware of our relative strengths and weaknesses.

I had a dream about him once, that he had set our offices on fire but he was just sitting there smiling and not getting out saying it wasn't important and telling me not to worry so much. I had to rush back in to the burning building and physically drag him out.

I did respect him though, in fact he wasn't valued enough in the company; I think it wasn't the right environment for him to work and show his best side. He had very minimal respect for authority and hierarchy, and while I think a healthy scepticism of authority is good his was completely self-destructive.

As for what he thought of me, he once said to me "I'm the risk-taker and you're the sensible one, so together we make a perfect team". I wouldn't say perfect, but that was how he saw it. Anyway, having said all these we remained on largely friendly terms to the end.

*now having read the description*



> Relations of Supervision can give the impression that Supervisor is constantly watching every step of the Supervisee. The latter usually feels this control even if the Supervisor does not say or do anything. The explanation for this is that the Supervisee weak point is defenceless against the Supervisor's strong point. This makes the Supervisee nervous and expect the worse.


I don't think I made him feel nervous to be honest, to my mind he needed to be more nervous if anything, he didn't worry so I had to worry for the both of us. I tend to find this with Ti ego types to be honest, I get the impression that they haven't thought things through and are making assumptions, when that might not be actually the case.



> Although the Supervisor can seem self-satisfied, petty, faultfinding and narrative, the Supervisee pays attention to their actions and considers the Supervisor as consequential. The Supervisee normally wants to gain recognition and commendation from the Supervisor. However, it may seem like the Supervisor always undervalues the abilities of the Supervisee. This stimulates the Supervisee into proving their own worthiness with various actions, yet there is little chance that they will succeed.


Yes, I can more or less see this...



> The Supervisor sees the Supervisee as quite interesting and capable, but incomplete and therefore in need of some help and advice. The Supervisee does not respond to this aid as expected and this will often increase the Supervisor's attempts to change the Supervisee. Because the Supervisee naturally does not understand what it is that the Supervisor wants from them, this may irritate the Supervisor, who thinks that the Supervisee simply does not want to understand.


100%



> In relations of Supervision it may also appear as if the Supervisor patronises the Supervisee, which can be quite obtrusive for the latter. When there are more than two people present, the Supervisee often attempts to release themselves from the control of the Supervisor by starting arguments for the sake of it or by attempting to manoeuvre themselves into the commanding position. Unfortunately, these attempts lead nowhere. The Supervisor may think instead that the Supervisee simply requires more attention.


Not completely sure.



> Supervision partners often look like good friends. The reason for this is that in these relations both partners can sense their social value: the Supervisor as a "guardian angel", without whom the Supervisee will get into trouble, and the Supervisee as the object of attention.


Yes, this.


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## prsvrnc (Oct 15, 2011)

This is an old thread I know, but I'm curious-- has anyone ever experienced something like a full-fledged "supervisor syndrome" before? This degree of severity was indicated as a possibility in one of the articles and I honestly think I experienced this! Although I am embarrassed to say by who and in what context.
Has anyone else experienced something really crippling in relation to a supervisor? Any horror stories of a sort?


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## 3407 (Oct 7, 2014)

prsvrnc said:


> This is an old thread I know, but I'm curious-- has anyone ever experienced something like a full-fledged "supervisor syndrome" before? This degree of severity was indicated as a possibility in one of the articles and I honestly think I experienced this! Although I am embarrassed to say by who and in what context.
> Has anyone else experienced something really crippling in relation to a supervisor? Any horror stories of a sort?


If any of you guys here that happen to be in a position of the "supervisor" then trust me, you don't want to hurt the "supervisee" feelings. This is my "horror" story like you said. I want to share it with you guys. But first, let me say that my English is not good, that's not my native language.

I'm an ENFJ and my mom is an ISFJ in MBTI, so that would mean that I'm an EIE and my mom is an SEI in Socionics, right? Well, things've happened normally in my life until I was 13. Before that, I was a very active and sociable child, typically like an ENFJ. But things happened. My dad, who is an ESTP (SLE in Socionics) has cheated on my mom. And he has done this so many times in their marriage that I don't know why that happen and I must say the cheating thing really irritates me. When I was 13, I started to realize the "flaw" in their marriage and that my family is not happy. I've witnessed they fighting and stuffs. My mom's cried a lot and held tightly into me. I was affected by that and it has changed my point of view about my family since then. I started to hold grudge on my ESTP father and start loving my ISFJ mother more than I normally do. He cheated so many times and his life style is not appeal to me in some ways but I think my mom doesn't hate him so much like I do. Things got worse when I was 19. My dad passed away and I think that the main reason of his death is due to the fact that I hold too much grudge on him because I think he didn't treat my mom right. I have to say another thing that 13-19 is the time I developed very odd. I grew up not like a normal ENFJ. I think I had autism back then and kind of social anxiety, too. And the role of my mom a.k.a the "supervisor" was developed. Yes, I experienced some stuffs like the description say about the "Supevision relationship" in Socionics. But it wasn't clear enough. Only in the last couple years that I've noticed something really "scary" happening in my relationship with my mother. 

I've set up many goals for my future. But when I discussed it with my mother, she just smiled and say that's not going to happen, that I have to do this and this to have money in the society. My dreams were completely "shut off" by her. So I went to college, but the field I majored in was not my interest. I only did that because I want to make my mom feel happy. I must say that I'm very influenced by her. She seems to control my whole entire life. And it causes me mental illness. My self-esteem is very low now. I'm very anxious and always on "alert" mode when I'm in social situations. And I'm also relate to the psychosomatic disorders. I've noticed that whether I'm happy or not, she didn't think the same like I do. I think this happen due to her first function (Si) that clash with my third function (Se). She always ground me, to the point that I feel like I'm trap in prison, that I can barely breathe. And when I try to explain to her, I can't find a right word to say. Mostly because I don't want to hurt her feelings. So I must say this relationship is very toxic. It is much worse than the "Benefit relationship". Do you know that when I feel exhausted about her, I start to cry but it doesn't last for two seconds because I could just smile again. That's a very horibble experience to have.. I also suffer from manic depression to the point that I think I could just lie in bed and wait to die. But I can't attempt the suicide, and I don't know why. The image of my mother still "haunts" me and it makes me feel miserable. I can't escape from her because I don't want to hurt her feelings. But no matter what I do, I can't decide my own destiny. I don't know what is going on with my life anymore. Is it fate's fault that I was born?

I quit college now. And I'm studying about MBTI and stuffs. I'm searching for myself. I happened to see this thread when I was looking for solutions to break the "Supervision relationship". So I just want to share my own insights. Hopes it helps. And please, I just want to say that If you're in a toxic relationship like a "Supervison relationship", you must consider if it's worth it or not and move on. Don't waste your energy in vain..


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## counterintuitive (Apr 8, 2011)

Can the subtype (lead/creative) affect this, possibly making it worse or mitigating it?

Let's take SEI and EIE for example. SEI supervises EIE. SEI-Fe might not supervise EIE-Ni as severely? Is that correct?

SEI-Si with the extra emphasis on Si would be worse, especially paired with EIE-Fe whose Ni isn't strengthened as much and so does not repress S as much.


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## Rabid Seahorse (Mar 10, 2015)

counterintuitive said:


> Can the subtype (lead/creative) affect this, possibly making it worse or mitigating it?
> 
> Let's take SEI and EIE for example. SEI supervises EIE. SEI-Fe might not supervise EIE-Ni as severely? Is that correct?
> 
> SEI-Si with the extra emphasis on Si would be worse, especially paired with EIE-Fe whose Ni isn't strengthened as much and so does not repress S as much.


I think it does. Subtypes affect all type of relationships- I notice I get along much better ESI sensory subtypes than ethical ones, being an ILE- logical subtype myself.


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