# Which type is likely to have the most walls?



## Bumblyjack (Nov 18, 2011)

Pier 56 said:


> Uhhh. Ok. Go for it.
> 
> (Exactly what does "Sx/SP" mean??)


Oh, "Sx/Sp" has to do with the Enneagram of Personality and Instinct Variants. Sx stands for "sexual" and means that these individuals' primary goal is to seek out close, intimate, one-on-one relationships. Sp stands for "self preservation" and means that these people tend to keep others at a distance in order to protect themselves. So stands for "social" and these people favor relationships with boundaries.

Essentially what I'm saying is that a lot of ENFP's keep people at a distance, like you and others have noted. However, there is a small subset of ENFP's that are primarily focused on connecting one-on-one. They care very little for maintaining a comfortable distance. These individuals are some of the most forthcoming people of all types and they have no walls whatsoever. I happen to be one of them. For example, earlier tonight I just described all of my hopes and dreams, everything I want in life, to a complete stranger. Why did I do it? Just because she asked, no other reason was needed. I'm eager to do that because my greatest desire in life is to connect with others and for us to get to know each other for who we really are deep down.


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## Pier 56 (Mar 7, 2012)

Bumblyjack said:


> Oh, "Sx/Sp" has to do with the Enneagram of Personality and Instinct Variants. Sx stands for "sexual" and means that these individuals' primary goal is to seek out close, intimate, one-on-one relationships. Sp stands for "self preservation" and means that these people tend to keep others at a distance in order to protect themselves. So stands for "social" and these people favor relationships with boundaries.
> 
> Essentially what I'm saying is that a lot of ENFP's keep people at a distance, like you and others have noted. However, there is a small subset of ENFP's that are primarily focused on connecting one-on-one. They care very little for maintaining a comfortable distance. These individuals are some of the most forthcoming people of all types and they have no walls whatsoever. I happen to be one of them. For example, earlier tonight I just described all of my hopes and dreams, everything I want in life, to a complete stranger. Why did I do it? Just because she asked, no other reason was needed. I'm eager to do that because my greatest desire in life is to connect with others and for us to get to know each other for who we really are deep down.


Ahhhhhh...
Interesting.
Hmn, never met an ENFP like that - it would be a welcome change. Lol.


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## Bumblyjack (Nov 18, 2011)

Pier 56 said:


> Ahhhhhh...
> Interesting.
> Hmn, never met an ENFP like that - it would be a welcome change. Lol.


I haven't met one either. I find other ENFP's amusing but I don't like them as friends and I don't like romantic relationships with them. I can relate to the way they think and how they experience things, which makes sense considering we have the same cognitive function hierarchies, but I simply have entirely different motivations in life. I see them as lacking depth, they see me as too serious. I see their interactions with others as fake and superficial, they see mine as intrusive. They need space in relationships, I need closeness.

Of course, these are generalizations and there are exceptions, I am one.


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## Stan the Woz (Apr 10, 2012)

I'd say both INJ types just because it seems like they try to control themselves more than pretty much every other type in terms of this kind of thing; where an INTJ might reject the idea of love or think it unimportant, an INFJ might think that they "shouldn't" (really, both types could have that rather easily); either way, I see a lot of potential for avoiding it.


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## FreeSpirit (Jun 1, 2011)

Also went with Fi doms.


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## Pier 56 (Mar 7, 2012)

Bumblyjack said:


> I haven't met one either. I find other ENFP's amusing but I don't like them as friends and I don't like romantic relationships with them. I can relate to the way they think and how they experience things, which makes sense considering we have the same cognitive function hierarchies, but I simply have entirely different motivations in life. I see them as lacking depth, they see me as too serious. I see their interactions with others as fake and superficial, they see mine as intrusive. They need space in relationships, I need closeness.
> 
> Of course, these are generalizations and there are exceptions, I am one.


This is true.
I've never known ENFPs to get along with each other the way that other types can.
Like, romance is NOT an option for ENFP to ENFP relationships


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## Shan (Apr 13, 2012)

INFP, from personal experience. 
Oh the walls I have built, but are trying to tear.


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## Leeoflittlefaith (Dec 8, 2010)

Hah, the polls as skewed as ever.

I put ISTJ, going off a friend of mine.


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## Bumblyjack (Nov 18, 2011)

Pier 56 said:


> This is true.
> I've never known ENFPs to get along with each other the way that other types can.
> Like, romance is NOT an option for ENFP to ENFP relationships


I enjoy being around other ENFP's but it's always a situation of "too many performers and no audience" for it to be a great romance or close friendship. ENFP's never seem to appreciate each other's creative ideas or enthusiasm the way that we're used to some people appreciating us. One comes up with an idea and the other replies, "You know what would be really great..." This is very disappointing and irritating.


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

Pier 56 said:


> I said INFP and ENFP.
> 
> INFP's have the most Fi of anyone (or so it seems) so they'll naturally be hard to reach.
> But the one I think people forget about is the ENFP because they're so... VIVID...
> ...


Wow. Sounds like you had a bad experience with an ENFP who maybe....left, walked, ran @0! IDK XD

We can be vivid if that's what we choose. Keep in mind that we are picky about who we let into our little bubble. If you left a conversation, friendship, relationship with an ENFP without getting many details about herself/himself, it's likely because we choose not to show/tell you. We want to keep it light on the surface until we have established , or our Fi has accepted it's o.k to peel away one of the many layers. The deeper you go, the more you know. Not everyone will see that side of an ENFP, the ENFP decides if and when that happens. As an ENFP my Fi is very private , talking about anything personal is for close, inner circles. ENFP are likely the type-- most consistently has more acquaintance than close personal friends. I keep all my personal data , the important stuff for those i love/trust. That trust doesn't happen over night either, not for this ENFP. . So yeah, we kind of zone you and know the boundaries we want to keep and with whom.


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## nádej (Feb 27, 2011)

MuChApArAdOx said:


> If you left a conversation, friendship, relationship with an ENFP without getting many details about herself/himself, it's likely because we choose not to show you. We want to keep it light on the surface until we have established , or our Fi has accepted it's o.k to peel away one of the many layers. The deeper you go, the more you know. Not everyone will see that side of an ENFP, the ENFP decides if and when that happens. As an ENFP my Fi is very private , talking about anything personal is for close, inner circles. ENFP are likely the type-- most consistently has more acquaintance than close personal friends. I keep all my personal data , the important stuff for those i love/trust. That trust doesn't happen over night either, not for this ENFP. . So yeah, we kind of zone you and know the boundaries we want to keep and with whom.


_Or_, in terms of this particular ENFP (I mean myself...that was just a weird way of saying it because I'm drinking wine right now), I tend to share a lot about myself and am very open regarding likes and dislikes and experiences and stories. I really don't have any concrete secrets because I always spontaneously confess them to people. *However, I have a mass amount of emotional walls.* I will share and share and share, and sometimes that person thinks that we're then really close, but I don't see it that way. I share a lot of stupid stuff so that people think they know me and never try for the more difficult stuff which I don't really trust people with. It's very difficult to get into a close relationship with me, no matter how many details you know about my life. I push away if someone attempts to get their too fast, too. If they aren't tricked by my "OMG we're like BFF because you know everything I ever did in middle school!" ruse, I start to panic.

Not something I'm proud of or aim for; just something that's true.


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

nádej said:


> _Or_, in terms of this particular ENFP (I mean myself...that was just a weird way of saying it because I'm drinking wine right now), I tend to share a lot about myself and am very open regarding likes and dislikes and experiences and stories. I really don't have any concrete secrets because I always spontaneously confess them to people. *However, I have a mass amount of emotional walls.* I will share and share and share, and sometimes that person thinks that we're then really close, but I don't see it that way. I share a lot of stupid stuff so that people think they know me and never try for the more difficult stuff which I don't really trust people with. It's very difficult to get into a close relationship with me, no matter how many details you know about my life. I push away if someone attempts to get their too fast, too. If they aren't tricked by my "OMG we're like BFF because you know everything I ever did in middle school!" ruse, I start to panic.
> 
> Not something I'm proud of or aim for; just something that's true.


I get the complete opposite. People reveal all their secrets, desires, goals dreams , your name it, people tell me everyone about themselves. I can communicate effectively and take it all at face value. And i can sooo relate with people _thinking'_ they are now your BFF, it makes me laugh mostly, just bizzare that people think they even know me on this level..haha I don't give up much about myself personally with people i don't know, or know i won't be close with in the bigger picture. I don't hang out with people i don't know well, so i don't have to feel guarded. I'm friendly , even with strangers, although i have boundaries that are placed almost instinctively when around new people.


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## Niccolo Machiavelli (Aug 7, 2011)

I'm going with INTJ, but that could just be me.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

I voted for INFP & INTP. It was not surprising for me to learn that these two are also the least likely to marry or to never marry at all. Also, INFPs are reportedly often dissatisfied with their relationships & INTPs often have dissatisfied partners.

These types are also commonly 4w5 & 5w4 (respectively), some of the most withdrawn, difficult to get close to people.

The Fi type possess a depth of feeling far beyond what most imagine or will ever grasp, and then on top of that, they often purposely hide it. Ti-dom often struggle with their own feelings & emotions, just even acknowledging them. I find Ne adds a level of detachment in Ji-dom, as if the person is never quite connected to things around them.

My real life observations backs this up also... I see most INJs form & maintain connections with people in a relatively normal way. I see a lot more INPs struggle in these areas & remain single longer because of it. 

I think everyone likes to imagine they are complex though. I don't think connecting easily with others & being knowable emotionally means a person is simplistic though. I don't think it's a good thing to be difficult to get to.


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## Pier 56 (Mar 7, 2012)

MuChApArAdOx said:


> Wow. Sounds like you had a bad experience with an ENFP who maybe....left, walked, ran @0! IDK XD
> 
> We can be vivid if that's what we choose. Keep in mind that we are picky about who we let into our little bubble. If you left a conversation, friendship, relationship with an ENFP without getting many details about herself/himself, it's likely because we choose not to show/tell you. We want to keep it light on the surface until we have established , or our Fi has accepted it's o.k to peel away one of the many layers. The deeper you go, the more you know. Not everyone will see that side of an ENFP, the ENFP decides if and when that happens. As an ENFP my Fi is very private , talking about anything personal is for close, inner circles. ENFP are likely the type-- most consistently has more acquaintance than close personal friends. I keep all my personal data , the important stuff for those i love/trust. That trust doesn't happen over night either, not for this ENFP. . So yeah, we kind of zone you and know the boundaries we want to keep and with whom.


Oh, no, it wasn't like that -- not romantic.
It was just someone close, where if anyone was in their inner circle, it was me.
My best friend is also ENFP and is the same way (minus the back stabbing).

Like, I'm pretty sure they (the ENFPs in question) don't tell ANYONE whats really going on.

I can't talk about what happened.
But, INFJs only allow a few people to REALLY get to know us - even worse than ENFPs.

ENFP #1 was someone where "they got your back".
Naturally, I still watched my own back a little.
But I didn't expect THEM to attack, in a manner of speaking.

It was so bad that I will never trust anyone ever again.


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## Pier 56 (Mar 7, 2012)

Bumblyjack said:


> I enjoy being around other ENFP's but it's always a situation of "too many performers and no audience" for it to be a great romance or close friendship. ENFP's never seem to appreciate each other's creative ideas or enthusiasm the way that we're used to some people appreciating us. One comes up with an idea and the other replies, "You know what would be really great..." This is very disappointing and irritating.


Yeah, I didn't mean AT ALL.
I have a band and the Drummer and Bassist are both ENFPs (guy/girl) and they get along, but aren't attracted to each other at all.
One has even cited reasons why... Lol!

Wow, I know a lot of ENFPs!


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## FiNe SiTe (Dec 11, 2009)

In my experience I have always found INTJs and INFPs the hardest to get to know.

I voted for: INTJ, ISTJ, INFP and ISTP.


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## Perhaps (Aug 20, 2011)

INFPs, really? All the ones I've ever known have been quick to self-disclose. Many even over-share, by my standards.

As far as walls are concerned, based on personal experience alone, I'd say INFJs and INTJs. My partner (INFJ) has a castle. I have a laser-protected fortress. With crocodiles on the ground floor. Thou shall not pass.


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## Solitude315 (Feb 28, 2012)

I'd say INFJ and INTJ


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## myexplodingcat (Feb 6, 2011)

It depends what kind of wall we're talking about.

If it's emotional, then yeah--INTPs and INTJs DO put up walls. All the time. They're not to keep you out, they're to hold us in. Don't be offended. It's how we stay sane.

INFPs seem deathly afraid of getting emotionally pushed around. Or just sick of it, maybe, because they sound so much more delicate than they actually are. They put up emotional walls, too. And since they have more of a habit of having actual emotional reactions to everything in their lives than the Thinkers do, they tend not to share a whole lot of their life either because life=feelings, and telling feelings=not coming out on the best side. So I'd even say they put up more walls than INTs do.

INFJs don't seem to have any serious emotional walls. I know a couple of them, and they seem pretty ready with their opinions and ideas even when they don't know you that well. Then when you know them a little better, they open up to you more. If something sucks, they tell it like it is.

I'm surprised the STJs haven't gotten more votes, especially the ISTJs. Anyone who knows an ISTJ outside of a professional setting knows that they're not actually as cold as people think. 
...(And they throw mean cookie exchange parties. /silly)

@Pier 56 It's an Enneagram thing. It means Sexual/Self-Preservation, meaning that if there was a zombie takeover, then whoever was that type would grab his/her boyfriend/girlfriend/best friend (i.e., one other person) and make a run for it to survive together. As opposed to taking off on your own, "every man for himself," or trying to save a group of people (Social).


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