# Big Boys Need Love Too!



## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

I was wondering if there is anyone out there that has a atrraction to big guys.... What do you specifically like? What DON'T you like? As a big guy (not like super morbidly obese with fat hanging everywhere) I have had a couple of people look my way. I may be big but I'm pretty light on my feet. But I just want your opinion.... (you can be straight, gay, bi, pan, trans-gen, demi or asexual) I'm looking for opinion and not just based on internal but also physical likes & dislikes.... Let's discuss!:kitteh:


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

Big boys are like teddy bears, more to hang onto. I enjoy seeing a big guy who has confidence in himself, one who doesn't shy away from doing things because of his size. For example, i have a guy friend who is big, he loves to dance, and he's an awesome dancer too. My uncle is a big man and when he hugs me, oh boy, it feels amazing. It makes me feel secure in his arms ( no i'm not a creep who is in love with my uncle, just to clarify ; D )....his size is so much bigger than me, it feels warm. Yes, big guys need love too.


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

MuChApArAdOx said:


> Big boys are like teddy bears, more to hang onto. I enjoy seeing a big guy who has confidence in himself, one who doesn't shy away from doing things because of his size. For example, i have a guy friend who is big, he loves to dance, and he's an awesome dancer too. My uncle is a big man and when he hugs me, oh boy, it feels amazing. It makes me feel secure in his arms ( no i'm not a creep who is in love with my uncle, just to clarify ; D )....his size is so much bigger than me, it feels warm. Yes, big guys need love too.


Oh snap! I loooove dancing! I can't sit still when there's a great song playing! Plus I love hugs! I gave a hug to my friends daughter (she's about 13) and I felt like a papa-bear! I called her my "little sister". I felt a paternal instinct kick in.... But yes, thank you for that post :happy:


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## Ace Face (Nov 13, 2011)

I think big guys are absolutely adorable :3 It gives me something to really cuddle with ;D


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## Kyandigaru (Mar 11, 2012)

as long as their height matches their weight, I have no problem fucking a football player or giant! HA!!


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## koalaroo (Nov 25, 2011)

Generally, I'm not a fan of guys who are stick thin or guys who are overly muscular. A healthy guy with a little extra padding? Not a bad deal.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

"His body is the perfect combination of masculine strength, and gentle softness with a thin subcutaneous layer obscuring the aggressive definition"


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## Chipps (Jun 1, 2011)

Its not always how big you are, its how you carry yourself. If you have the body that can carry around a little extra and look good, you better work it. Some people can pull off a little extra padding especially if you're tall(er). Its like hugging a big as human teddy bear. Lol, a lot of women actually like it. Just be confident in the way you look. If you're not, try losing a little bit of weight.


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## Steel Magnolia (Apr 10, 2012)

I'm married to someone who is three times my weight, and thirteen inches taller than me. I tend to like men of various sizes, and that includes big guys (possibly because I am five feet tall- it seems that small women really like big guys, some of them). But it depends on the individual. Some large men look good large, and they naturally carry their weight well, even if they are technically "obese". Others do not look good large, especially if they are extremely short (like under 5'6''). But of course, these are my subjective perceptions, and other people's views on this may be different.


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

Well, here's me at a picnic a couple of years ago.... I am the same size (maybe a little slimmer)


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## Chipps (Jun 1, 2011)

The King Of Dreams said:


> Well, here's me at a picnic a couple of years ago.... I am the same size (maybe a little slimmer)
> View attachment 37532


Boy thats not big. That healthy. :wink:


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## viva (Aug 13, 2010)

Hugs from big guys are the absolute _greatest_. They are just so much warmer and cuddly and encapsulating.

I really am not biased against bigger guys at all. My first serious boyfriend, who I dated for two years, was quite large. And my last boyfriend was very skinny. I usually just either have a spark with a person or I don't, and that spark takes all factors into account, not simply physical appearance.


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## Zster (Mar 7, 2011)

I definitely prefer guys that are a tad on the bigger than underweight side, though have really not had the opportunity to date any (damn it!!!). I am a bit tall for many guys' taste, and would like to be made to feel a tad smaller for once. I come from a family of big/tall men and so perhaps equate a guy who is bigger with protection, possibly a throwback to my childhood days with Dad.

I bet you previous posters are right - the hug potential sounds positively yummy! (I'll stop there, though the bedroom possibilities are even more titillating!). 

Although I am a well established, capable woman, it would feel nice to be able to lean on someone bigger/stronger some of the time. I am not sure that I have ever been with someone who does not cave to a perceived (and unwanted) dominant role from me. Sure size does not necessarily correlate, but the idea is still intriguing.




Edit: This reply was NOT meant to insult non-big guys in any way. After the fact, I realized it might be construed that way. When I was young, my preference was for distance runner built, bare-faced men. As I aged, along with my husband, my taste shifted with his look: to stockier, bearded dudes.


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

Wow, this is all very interesting indeed! Being a very physically affectionate man who loves to hug I guess I have a good chance then, huh?


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## Angelus (Apr 9, 2012)

@*The King Of Dreams*


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

Tenshi said:


> @*The King Of Dreams*


.....uh..... that was quite a colorful explanation..... LOL

I'm looking at this from a non-sexual standpoint mainly.... on the side of attraction and affection.


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## ENTPfemme (Mar 16, 2012)

How big is big? I mean, how big is good big, and then too big? Like if the guy can't fit through the bedroom door, he's too big right? Big could be tall, and thin, or it could be short and really fat. What the hell is big?


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

check_mate said:


> How big is big? I mean, how big is good big, and then too big? Like if the guy can't fit through the bedroom door, he's too big right? Big could be tall, and thin, or it could be short and really fat. What the hell is big?


Well, something like this....


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## shadowofambivalence (May 11, 2011)

I find Big boys adorable, Peter Griffin and fatboygetdown are both great examples of cute big boys in my opinion.


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## infinitewisdom (Jan 23, 2011)

@The King Of Dreams. Straight guy here but I'd have to say you're handsome and after reading your charm, life philosophy, and overall style on your motm bio, I'll say you should have no problem finding an awesome woman.


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> @The King Of Dreams
> honestly, I'm not so much into big boyz. I like twinks


Thank you for your honesty and input. :happy:


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## dagnytaggart (Jun 6, 2010)

The King Of Dreams said:


> I was wondering if there is anyone out there that has a atrraction to big guys.... What do you specifically like? What DON'T you like? As a big guy (not like super morbidly obese with fat hanging everywhere) I have had a couple of people look my way. I may be big but I'm pretty light on my feet. But I just want your opinion.... (you can be straight, gay, bi, pan, trans-gen, demi or asexual) I'm looking for opinion and not just based on internal but also physical likes & dislikes.... Let's discuss!:kitteh:


I love chubs!!  You're always welcome to come my way.


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

dagnytaggart said:


> I love chubs!!  You're always welcome to come my way.


Wow, I'm flattered! I haven't felt like that in a looooong time! LOL


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## Duck_of_Death (Jan 21, 2011)

...You got a chub from that, didn't ya King?
You naughty boy, you!


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

Duck_of_Death said:


> ...You got a chub from that, didn't ya King?
> You naughty boy, you!


Nah, what is your opinion. As a guy on the outside looking in? What have your observations shown?


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## perfectcircle (Jan 5, 2011)

I prefer the skinnier/fit guys because I like the aesthetic look of angles. Skinny with a resonably/slightly muscular body is good, that does not take away from slight belly chub because that's just so cute. The types of guys on TV who are so buff they've lost actual human texture and contour aren't attractrive to me, and to be real, super buff guys aren't attractive to MOST women.

But my personal taste is irrelevant, or anyone's for that matter; as others have mentioned, people all have different tastes enough to cover all body types. All bodies are beautiful, provided they are within certain health ranges of course. 
And personal taste is also malleable; I say I prefer skinnier guys, but you meet someone with a great personality and a certain look and that changes for you. It's a matter of someone meeting you with what they bring to the table and you recognizing that, not someoen meeting a list of requirements.


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## Duck_of_Death (Jan 21, 2011)

The King Of Dreams said:


> Nah, what is your opinion. As a guy on the outside looking in? What have your observations shown?


...I don't understand what you mean, bud.
Could you clarify?


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

Duck_of_Death said:


> ...I don't understand what you mean, bud.
> Could you clarify?


As a straight guy, have you observed women (or other orientations) going after big guys or has it been the opposite? What have you observed?


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

adverseaffects said:


> I prefer the skinnier/fit guys because I like the aesthetic look of angles. Skinny with a resonably/slightly muscular body is good, that does not take away from slight belly chub because that's just so cute. The types of guys on TV who are so buff they've lost actual human texture and contour aren't attractrive to me, and to be real, super buff guys aren't attractive to MOST women.
> 
> But my personal taste is irrelevant, or anyone's for that matter; as others have mentioned, people all have different tastes enough to cover all body types. All bodies are beautiful, provided they are within certain health ranges of course.
> And personal taste is also malleable; I say I prefer skinnier guys, but you meet someone with a great personality and a certain look and that changes for you. It's a matter of someone meeting you with what they bring to the table and you recognizing that, not someoen meeting a list of requirements.


You made a very good point, I appreciate that.


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## Duck_of_Death (Jan 21, 2011)

The King Of Dreams said:


> As a straight guy, have you observed women (or other orientations) going after big guys or has it been the opposite? What have you observed?


Women often chase after "hot" guys, but fear not--those women are often mediocre in every feasible way.
As a larger guy myself, I've had women pursue me before.


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

Duck_of_Death said:


> Women often chase after "hot" guys, but fear not--those women are often mediocre in every feasible way.
> As a larger guy myself, I've had women pursue me before.


It's funny because I had this image in my head that you were a tall, slim dude.... I thank you for contributing to this thread. I wonder if there have been any other big guys that have had this experience as well....


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## Duck_of_Death (Jan 21, 2011)

Tall but flabby, brother.
And you're welcome.

Good luck out there. It's a minefield.


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## Snakecharmer (Oct 26, 2010)

My on/off SO is a big guy. He's about 5'11, and when we met he weighed about 280 lbs. We met online, and I got to know him very well and fell for him before I even knew what he looked like. We decided to wait to share pictures and meet in person until after we'd gotten to know each other pretty well. 

His weight fluctuates between around 230 and 260 now. He got down to about 210 a few years ago and I thought he was too small at that size.

He used to compete in powerlifting, so he has a lot of muscle, but he doesn't look like a bodybuilder at all (thankfully - they are not my type at all).

So yeah, I do like big guys, normally. I have dated two skinny guys and while I really liked their personalities, I wasn't physically attracted to them. For me, it is about a hell of a lot more than looks, though...brains do it for me. Gotta have a smart fella!

However...I am a weight-loss counselor, and I do worry about the health risks associated with being overweight. Even being just a little over-fat can lead to serious health issues like high blood pressure and diabetes. In my line of work, I see people suffer the consequences of being overweight and obese every day...and it is scary. Being healthy is very important to me...I don't want to see the person I love suffer.

And...I'll add that I'm only 5'1 and carry a good amount of muscle for a petite female (all natural, lol). I've had men say good and bad things about my physique...when I was a personal trainer, a guy at the gym told me he doesn't lift weights because "I don't want to be bulky like you." So, I am familiar with being critiqued for having a certain look. I'm at the point in my life where I don't care what people think of me...I like the way I look...I'll never be a skinny woman, and that's fine with me. I've worked hard to get where I am, and I'm stronger than a lot of men I know. I don't have to ask my guy to lift things for me. I helped my boss carry a 120 lb coffee table out to his car and loaded it into his back seat last week. When I moved last year, I didn't have to hire movers...I was able to carry a sofa and a huge TV with the assistance of one other person. 

Sorry for the tangent...my point is that every body type has SOMEONE who dislikes it and will comment on it.


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## SenhorFrio (Apr 29, 2010)

The King Of Dreams said:


> what are your opinions?


I'm not really attracted to big guys, i am quite attracted to big women but guys don't fill out as nicely as girls do. My brother is pretty fat and is a jerk to me maybe that has something to do with it.

Of course who i am to talk when i've gained weight myself?


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## Pachacutie (Aug 27, 2010)

I like slightly chubby guys the most, but it's not a huge deal either way. 

People are right about them being huggable. That's always nice. 

Aesthetically? I don't know. I'm not that aesthetically attracted to men's bodies, anyway. Mostly faces.


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

I appreciate everyone's honesty!


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## The Unseen (Oct 26, 2010)

I will hang myself here and reveal a superficial flaw of my character and state that I will not date a skinny guy. I'm just not at all attracted to it. I'm a slightly curvier than average woman myself, and prefer a man larger and taller than myself. Any other way just feels off, and it's the honest truth.


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

Infrared said:


> I will hang myself here and reveal a superficial flaw of my character and state that I will not date a skinny guy. I'm just not at all attracted to it. I'm a slightly curvier than average woman myself, and prefer a man larger and taller than myself. Any other way just feels off, and it's the honest truth.


At least you were honest! Thank you.


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## MattNYNC (Sep 22, 2011)

I'd just like to say that I've been living in a very bubble-like society for the past 7 years where I've grown to be an overweight guy, and have not been sure how people perceive me. I've not been in a relationship, but it's good to know that there are girls out there who think that overweight guys are attractive or can be attractive. My self-esteem has been boosted quite a bit from the first page to the eighth. 

I'm not the tallest guy either, because I'm only 5'7. I like girls who are my height or shorter, but actual body type isn't the be-all end-all of having relationships. Now, I know that I haven't been in a relationship, but I think everyone knows what they do and don't like and it's always good to have an opinion as long as it is thought-out, honest, and contributes to whatever is being brought up. Everyone out there has unique preferences, and apparently, I'm going to college next year in one of the skinniest cities in the country. This may or may not bode well for me, but we shall see, maybe I'll be a nice change in body type.


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## The Proof (Aug 5, 2009)

norn here


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

Ladies just a question: Do you also like big guys because of the contrast between you and the guy? Is it because you're smaller. I find that many slim people prefer bigger people and vice verse.... What is your take?


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## wisdom (Dec 31, 2008)

Wouldn't soft skin on a thin man lessen some of the bony feel? Interestingly, nobody has been specific about "too heavy" or "too thin," as with measurements.


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

wisdom said:


> Wouldn't soft skin on a thin man lessen some of the bony feel? Interestingly, nobody has been specific about "too heavy" or "too thin," as with measurements.


Is that relevant?


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## BlueG (Jun 2, 2011)

The King Of Dreams said:


> Ladies just a question: Do you also like big guys because of the contrast between you and the guy? Is it because you're smaller. I find that many slim people prefer bigger people and vice verse.... What is your take?


Nobody answers. Errbody clamps their mouths all of a sudden. "That question was over the line!"

I prefer skinny men. I fluctuate between a normal weight and being underweight. My preference isn't related to my own body weight. 

But the hug thing... it's nice for it to just kind of encompass you, so that is related to my body weight. Also speaking as a person who's ribs are exposed, it's nice to not have them hit anything.


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

BlueGiraffe said:


> Nobody answers. Errbody clamps their mouths all of a sudden. "That question was over the line!"
> 
> I prefer skinny men. I fluctuate between a normal weight and being underweight. My preference isn't related to my own body weight.
> 
> But the hug thing... it's nice for it to just kind of encompass you, so that is related to my body weight. Also speaking as a person who's ribs are exposed, it's nice to not have them hit anything.


A interesting perspective mixed with a honest answer..... I LIKE IT!


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## wisdom (Dec 31, 2008)

Bone on bone, huh? The deal is that (based on anecdotal observations) thin men rarely are bony, unless they are old. There are some bogus ideas about slim men floating around (which also includes the idea they eat very little).

I wish people would be specific - NF here wants to know motives and factoids. As far as I can tell, women are fine with fat, if it also includes tall and moderately muscular. Maybe some lean more toward heavy based on past experiences, such as having an affectionate, overweight dad.


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## Anthoric (May 31, 2012)

Ah this thread makes me feel ...well nice.

I've been fat all my life, not gunna sugar coat it and say I'm big, because I'm honest, I'm fat, but that's ok, I've a lot of nice qualities, and if someone can't look past my weight, well they can go fuck a woodchipper. Though sometimes I do feel the stigma, but for the most part, I feel primal, powerful amost....hard to explain really.

Since I'm not keen on posting pics, I would say (If you're familliar with the terminology", I'm a bear, or perhaps a cub. I'd like to think cub, seeing as I'd probably be dwarfed by any larger guys. I'm 5'10" 230lbs or so. Heh.

But like I always say, looks don't mean diddly shit if you don't have a good personality to go with it.


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## twoofthree (Aug 6, 2011)

When I say I like lean men, I'm thinking in terms of body fat percentage. So not "skinny-fat", but the right proportion of muscle. 
It might be health thing. Men don't accumulate fat as easily as women do, so if his bf% is above normal, that could be a sign of something not being quite right.


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

Well, I'm happy that this thread can bring confidence to other guys like me.... I'm also happy that I have the personality to back it up! Although I am working to get healthier as well :wink:


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## SlowPoke68 (Apr 26, 2010)

I've always been rather large--not necessarily obese--and I've done ok. Women seem to like it for the most part. Obviously not all are looking for the gym-rat 6-pack thing.

I had a thing last year with a trim little 5'3 woman last year who told me one thing she liked (while she was straddling me) was that I was a "guy". Uhh. . . ok . . .what did that mean? She told me it meant I had size to me and could physically dominate her in a convincing way, the way that guys were "ten-pound emo boys who looked like naked mole rats" couldn't. 

However, most draw the line at sloppy and flabby, especially if you think of yourself as sloppy and flabby.


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## Kabosu (Mar 31, 2012)

The women who don't end up handling someone like me do so because:

* *












:tongue:

Well, y'know how those ENTPs all know how they're really good looking lol.


* *




But much of that "sexiness" is _really_ from the mind on this part.


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

This thread has officially transitioned into the "fun" zone :tongue:


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

SlowPoke68 said:


> I've always been rather large--not necessarily obese--and I've done ok. Women seem to like it for the most part. Obviously not all are looking for the gym-rat 6-pack thing.
> 
> I had a thing last year with a trim little 5'3 woman last year who told me one thing she liked (while she was straddling me) was that I was a "guy". Uhh. . . ok . . .what did that mean? She told me it meant I had size to me and could physically dominate her in a convincing way, the way that guys were "ten-pound emo boys who looked like naked mole rats" couldn't.
> 
> However, most draw the line at sloppy and flabby, especially if you think of yourself as sloppy and flabby.


I agree. There are quite a few women who enjoy being with someone who can physically dominate them in bed. It's one of the reasons why I like bigger men as opposed to the very thin ones. I just don't feel like they can overpower me adequately.


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

Boss said:


> I agree. There are quite a few women who enjoy being with someone who can physically dominate them in bed. It's one of the reasons why I like bigger men as opposed to the very thin ones. I just don't feel like they can overpower me adequately.


So this goes beyond the hugging and cuddling aspect then?.....


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

The King Of Dreams said:


> So this goes beyond the hugging and cuddling aspect then?.....


Yes
10char


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

Boss said:


> Yes
> 10char


I feel wanted and desired now..... I never felt this before. I don't know how to take this.... It's all very new to me.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

The King Of Dreams said:


> I feel wanted and desired now..... I never felt this before. I don't know how to take this.... It's all very new to me.


Aw I am glad you feel this way. You totally deserve to!


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

Boss said:


> Aw I am glad you feel this way. You totally deserve to!


You're so sweet! I just needed a boost and you gave me that! :crying:


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## lastman (Apr 25, 2012)

Im glad I found this thread. Lately I have been beating my self up because of my big belly. Thinking that many of the women I am attracted to, some of which are plenty thin (but not no paris hilton thin, mind you) would never see me in that light. Hell, most women don't even really talk to me. I figured it was because I was ugly as hell. After this thread, perhaps its been my confidence and the way I carry myself and the belief that I could not attract a mate.

"I think, therefor I am" right?


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

lastman said:


> Im glad I found this thread. Lately I have been beating my self up because of my big belly. Thinking that many of the women I am attracted to, some of which are plenty thin (but not no paris hilton thin, mind you) would never see me in that light. Hell, most women don't even really talk to me. I figured it was because I was ugly as hell. After this thread, perhaps its been my confidence and the way I carry myself and the belief that I could not attract a mate.
> 
> "I think, therefor I am" right?


Thank you for your heart felt honesty. We men tend to think women look at us the way we look at them.... In the physical... However, it's not as big of a factor as it is for men in general. it's kinda like for women Personality+looks and men its looks+personality. I hope I made sense. I'm sure you'll feel much better after reading this thread!


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## Kabosu (Mar 31, 2012)

Pfff. I think ppl love big bear hugs (and from a somewhat muscular guy that's not real big but big enough for the warm hugs w/ broad shoulders too!), tho maybe I'm taking it from my own perception. :wink: I remember this very thin yet muscular guy I knew from high school lamented on a facebook status about how girls love it when he strips but are iffy about cuddling. That just made me think, the girls like tender meat for such a thing!

lol, that's probably the most ego I've displayed in a post here.


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

atypeofuser said:


> Pfff. I think ppl love big bear hugs (and from a somewhat muscular guy that's not real big but big enough for the warm hugs w/ broad shoulders too!), tho maybe I'm taking it from my own perception. :wink: I remember this very thin yet muscular guy I knew from high school lamented on a facebook status about how girls love it when he strips but are iffy about cuddling. That just made me think, the girls like tender meat for such a thing!
> 
> lol, that's probably the most ego I've displayed in a post here.


It's like looking at a statue of a teddy bear... it Looks great, but is hard to cuddle with.... But guys like me are great to cuddle with.


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## Kainita (Aug 31, 2011)

My current SO is a bit chubby, I wouldn't say big. He is very cuddly and soft. I am very busty so I acutally weigh quite a bit and look a bit bigger myself, so I like a man that is bigger than me and can make me feel like a woman.


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

Kainita said:


> My current SO is a bit chubby, I wouldn't say big. He is very cuddly and soft. I am very busty so I acutally weigh quite a bit and look a bit bigger myself, so I like a man that is bigger than me and can make me feel like a woman.


I'm happy for you roud:


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## cue5c (Oct 12, 2011)

I'm definitely overweight, quote-unquote "big". I've never had problems with women liking me, but I have absolutely no luck when it comes to guys. I attract a lot of nerdy guys, but they're all straight. Throughout high school there was a guy who I'd cuddle with and hold hands, but he was straight and I think that's really messed me up since that's who I'm drawn to now. I wish I had the confidence I had with women because a lot do like me and I have to tell them I'm not interested. It's just frustrating seeing how much easier it could be if I were straight.

On another random tangent, I tend to be attracted to people who would probably be considered 5/6 in mainstream culture. However, I find a lot of those people tend to be attracted to perfect 10s, whereas 10s want somebody who will appreciate them for who they are instead of how they look, so neither of us win in the end. I don't know, I find a lot of things about society predictably annoying. I'm sure if I were a little less cynical it'd be easier, but this past year has kind of drained all of my optimism like DMT does to the serotonin in your body when you die, which is what I feel like right now. 

I'm taking some medicine for a cold so sorry if this is incoherent. (My vision is certainly off.) I'm just having a really shitty day remembering how happy I was and where I am now. Love fucking sucks.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

My definition of big has changed since ive been sexually active.

I used to think a big guy was 5'11 250, but now that is just chubby in my eyes. 

*Big* is more like 6'4-6'8 200-250 pounds. Swimmers body, oh yes.

One thing I did like about the chubby guys ive done (not talking about ALL bigger guys) was the use of their body weight.(do the math)

And their ability to keep meh warm in the winter! Though the extra body heat is unwanted in the summer.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

The King Of Dreams said:


> I was wondering if there is anyone out there that has a atrraction to big guys.... What do you specifically like? What DON'T you like? As a big guy (not like super morbidly obese with fat hanging everywhere) I have had a couple of people look my way. I may be big but I'm pretty light on my feet. But I just want your opinion.... (you can be straight, gay, bi, pan, trans-gen, demi or asexual) I'm looking for opinion and not just based on internal but also physical likes & dislikes.... Let's discuss!:kitteh:


You said demisexuals were welcome to post here, so I will. You might not like what I have to say, though.

I feel like a lot of fat people get the impression that in order to be loved at all, the one loving them would have to have a fetish for fat bodies. The societal pressure to be toned and firm is so very severe that in order to defy it, one would almost have to be intentionally selecting people for their deviation from the cultural ideal... or perhaps that is only how it seems. 

In truth, there is another option. I have had attractions to fat men before. I have also had attractions to skinny men. I have had attractions to men without any regard for their bodies. I think the ideal situation is to love people instead of objectifying them. Forming positive or negative judgments based on appearances tends to take something away from the authenticity of the connection. 

You have so much good in you. Wouldn't you rather be loved for being a friendly, optimistic, kind-hearted, loving person who genuinely cares about others, by someone who sees those qualities in you, who will love you even if you lose weight, or if you end up in an accident that leaves you with terrible burn scars all over your body, or if you end up losing a couple of limbs? 

There are so many awesomely sexy things to love about you. Why would you settle for someone who cared at all about the shape of your body? 

I promise I'm not coming on to you. I have a soulmate already, but I hate to see you undervaluing yourself.


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

snail said:


> You said demisexuals were welcome to post here, so I will. You might not like what I have to say, though.
> 
> I feel like a lot of fat people get the impression that in order to be loved at all, the one loving them would have to have a fetish for fat bodies. The societal pressure to be toned and firm is so very severe that in order to defy it, one would almost have to be intentionally selecting people for their deviation from the cultural ideal... or perhaps that is only how it seems.
> 
> ...


I think for many people physical attractiveness is of relative rather than absolute importance. That being said, for me it's not the prime reason for attraction. I feel like if I looked better physically in the eyes of somebody, anybody, then I will feel attractive and desired. I guess it's my self esteem that has a lot to do with it. I have a LOT to work on!


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## Kabosu (Mar 31, 2012)

The King Of Dreams said:


> I think for many people physical attractiveness is of relative rather than absolute importance.


tbf I agree with this.
I've seen "big" people in relationships with "regular," fairly attractive people in several irl observations so I wouldn't count against it.




cue5c said:


> I'm definitely overweight, quote-unquote "big". I've never had problems with women liking me, but I have absolutely no luck when it comes to guys. I attract a lot of nerdy guys, but they're all straight.


This bi guy wouldn't mind trading. lol @ the twist of fate.




> On another random tangent, I tend to be attracted to people who would probably be considered 5/6 in mainstream culture. However, I find a lot of those people tend to be attracted to perfect 10s, whereas 10s want somebody who will appreciate them for who they are instead of how they look, so neither of us win in the end. I don't know, I find a lot of things about society predictably annoying. I'm sure if I were a little less cynical it'd be easier...


Yeah, what I consider a very attractive person =/= society's ideal. Taste is subjective and personally I think I'd be displaying more confidence by just presenting myself the way I think I am and what looks ideal to me vs. the construct's view of what's best. Well I'm not really large or anything like that and sometimes I do get thinner because sometimes I'm just more wrapped up in other activities than eating and the like. I can be pretty physically active and like to be. I think my mind and soul are more important to me than a body. People would need to connect with me on those levels if they really wanted a relationship with me.


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## Eleven (Oct 1, 2011)

Now what I'm wondering is... Do guys feel the same about girls?! According to everything I've read/experienced, men are naturally much more visually oriented than women, so they are less likely to be attracted to someone who doesn't meet their standards appearance-wise. I'm not trying to make any generalizations here, but in my experience it seems to be true that a guy is less likely to be attracted to a chubby girl than a girl to a chubby guy... 

Thoughts? I'd love to be proven wrong lol.


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## firedell (Aug 5, 2009)

In terms of underweight vs big - I'm attracted to a middle ground. Too skinny and it's disgusting, too fat and I'd feel overpowered.


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## DarkWarrior (Sep 21, 2011)

My girlfriend loves me no matter what. That means the world to me. I have been losing weight and I'm like 4 pounds away from losing 50. I'll Weigh in around 300 so I'll be around 80 pounds over weight. Most would say hey 200 is the healthy weight for 6'4, that's an average. The way my Dad and I are built we I guess have a heavier frame. Since my father was at 200 pounds before after losing weight and he looked gaunt and zombie-like. He is only 6'1 as opposed to my 6'4.

Honestly all that matters too me is that my partner is at a healthy weight, and even if they pork out for a bit or get too skinny I still think they are beautiful. It's more of a health thing as it is in her opinion. Some people look better chubbier some skinny. Depends on each person. As long as they are healthy who gives a crap.


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

Yeah, I promote being healthy. I want to be the best I can be. As far as guys liking chubby girls, well I know a ESTJ that LOVES them. So, yeah, I don't think a lot of guys would mind. I think it's 50/50.


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## Hrothgarsdad (Mar 29, 2012)

wow


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

Hrothgarsdad said:


> wow


What are you saying "wow" about? Can you clarify?


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## Antichrist (Apr 6, 2012)

Hrothgarsdad said:


> wow


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## Hrothgarsdad (Mar 29, 2012)

The King Of Dreams said:


> What are you saying "wow" about? Can you clarify?


Sorry, I don't quite grok the respond functions. I was trying to reply to SoulEater's photo (post 47). I like the teddy bears.


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

Hrothgarsdad said:


> Sorry, I don't quite grok the respond functions. I was trying to reply to SoulEater's photo (post 47). I like the teddy bears.


Ahhhh! I see! Okay!


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## DemonD (Jun 12, 2012)

I've always viewed it in kind of a "what goes around comes around" kind of way. 

I don't particularly like larger women, so it would be foolish to expect women to like me, or my physique to be more precise.

Fair is fair and all that.


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

DemonD said:


> I've always viewed it in kind of a "what goes around comes around" kind of way.
> 
> I don't particularly like larger women, so it would be foolish to expect women to like me, or my physique to be more precise.
> 
> Fair is fair and all that.


I've thought about that as well..


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