# What type do you have the most problems with?



## dfoster (Mar 8, 2010)

I'm a type 8 and it seems every time I have a problem with someone, he or she is a type 6. They seem to really object to my straight forward style. What's your experience?


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## iseeincolor (Aug 29, 2010)

i'm a 4w5. i have the most difficult time relating to 7's. I think I am like a debbie downer to them, and they seem too painted (inauthentic) to me.


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## deadgirlrunning (Feb 14, 2011)

It really depends on the person. Any type can irk me after awhile, but I seem to have the biggest problems with ones (at least the ones I know.) They seem very rigid and boring. Insecure 6s can really annoy me too. That whole "you versus us" crap they try to play is extremely juvenile. I haven't come across many 8s, but I doubt I'd like them. I don't like controlling people.


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## PixieSaysHi (Oct 9, 2010)

I don't think I'd mind anyone of any type that is healthy. On the other hand, any type that is unhealthy would be someone I'd avoid.

Overall, I've noticed some patterns:

I like ones because they are, for the most part, dependable and straightforward. I don't like the feeling I'm being sized up all the time, though.

I've never personally known a healthy two. The twos I have known have manipulation written all over them and I avoid them as much as possible. Plus, they tend to be too loud for me. Their "concern" comes across as keeping score which is why I'm uncomfortable with their seemingly altruistic gifts...there are usually strings attached and unhealthy twos make paybacks relentless.

My brother is a three. I know threes sometimes get a bad rap for being shallow and materialistic, but my brother is a healthy three and I have a lot of respect for him. Threes can really be pretty cool if you can get through their image bullshit.

Fours tend to annoy me and this shouldn't be since it's my wing but...yeeeaah. I can't get past how they constantly swim in their feelings and display them so prominently. That pretty much makes me want to run the other way as I'm not sure what to do with all that. On the other hand, I do enjoy works of art (books, movies, art, music) that fours create.

I'm often most at home with fives probably because that's my type and I find them easy to understand. Healthy to average fives are fun to be around because they only talk when it's necessary and what they have to say I find interesting. I like how they're not all giggly and loud and we seem to just get each other. Unhealthy fives are super annoying though. Arrogant pricks.

I enjoy sixes because they are loyal friends and their anxieties are exaggerated and therefore humorous to me. The only sixes I have known are average to healthy but I have a hunch an unhealthy six might look like a crazy psycho with mood swings and jealousies all over the place...I'd run from that like the plague for sure.

I've noticed for some reason I tend to have this weird chemistry with male sevens right off the bat...but it never goes anywhere and that is perfectly fine with me. Sevens are fun, optimistic, spontaneous...pretty much everything I'm not so I suppose opposites attract. I've seen unhealthy sevens get into some pretty self-destructive behaviors, especially sleeping around and hard core drugs that scares me...for them. They don't seem to care about what happens to them once they start that path.

I like average to healthy eights a lot. I like their honesty and ability to be direct. I like their leadership abilities. Eight is my arrow of integration and I can feel when I'm moving along those lines and it feels right. An unhealthy eight would be scary but at least you know where you stand if they do intend to murder you. It's not like you didn't see it coming.

I have a love/hate relationship with nines. They have a calming effect on me and ease my intensity; however, their passive aggressiveness is really irritating. I have trouble with people who cannot figure out how they feel.


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## etherealuntouaswithin (Dec 7, 2010)

I dont do well with eights,i resent most that i come across...and do my best to shit on them when they (inevitably) come at me.

Ones are usually types i admire from afar.But when they try to push limits on me...or direct me with the whole authoritative/holy thing,it then is my pleasure to shit on them as well.

I've known only one five in high school,and really said nothing to the guy because he was a boring retch,who felt the need to argue _everything_.

Threes (really wing two's) I seem to have the most problems with though.It's usually a conflict of attitude.My bullshit detector hits almighty levels with the whole "You know..im great,but you can be too if you just work hard at it! YEAHHH!".I call BS when i see it,am outgoing and obnoxious (loudmouth),pride myself on boldly doing what no one else will..caustic..and dont really play nice.This usually conflicts with 3ish goals..disrupts the flow of success and pisses on the illusion. Meanwhile, the excellence,popular standard paragon,and shiny-golden child routine gets to me..because i know that those qualities elude me for the most part. It becomes a competitive thing.


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## slotAtabB (Sep 11, 2010)

i onlee lyke 5s and 4s becuz onlee thoas tipes kan be as speshul and kreative and romantix as me. i hav meney prowlems wit owl of the othur tipes. i have cum 2 the konclewshin that 5s and 4s r at the pinakul of hoomanity and al othre tipes 5 are infearior.

dis is my problim wit evrie othuh tipe:

1 - stoopid gut lewsers with big gint stiks up there ases yeling at u for waring ur hot sweter on bakwurds wile having sekret sex wit straingers.

2 - kumfort eeters and fead u to deth. owl of the men r gai.

3 - fakerz hoo sit arownd and driv a fancy spoarts kar too look gewd but thay akchewally stoal the muney and nead too go to jale.

6 - whiny litle lap dawgs who maik u tel them wot too dew and then deside u are stoopid and pewrify the hooman raice.

7 - crazie partie animuls who our sewper shalow and do not no how to thik a deap thot if it hit them in the fase.

8 - moar stoopid gut tipes they furt in ur face and then go explowd the yooniverse with bawmbs becuz thay had the rong cheeries for brekfast.

9 - boaring and flakie thay thik they r deap like 4s and 5s but thay are stoopid flowr childrin hoo do watever u say.

i hoap this has helped owl of u sea the lite.


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## lirulin (Apr 16, 2010)

Twos. Too many invisible strings attached to everything.
They seem to connect to people through reciprocal obligation.
I try to remove all obligations I can from my life, both in receiving and imposing.
Their friendly gestures/offers threaten my system, place me out of balance - I either violate their expectations and earn hate, or run myself down trying to repay what they consider normal courtesy but is exhausting extras to me.
My distance, intended as respectful and non-pressuring, is to them cold and a door slammed in the face.


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## swell813 (Jun 29, 2011)

Type 3s - perhaps it is because they are my "disintegration" type (I'm a Type 6), but I find 3 males in particular to be EXTRAORDINARILY disingenuous, sleazy even! This is the one personality type where I honestly don't think I count any as friends. I'm also a Leo and dislike dishonesty, dislike when people are one thing in public and a whole other thing behind closed doors, and I find this to be the case with 3s. And I also see myself at my unhealthiest in them, which of course has lots to do with it. 

Type 2s - Let me first say that one and perhaps two of my very best friends in the world are Type 2s - the one I'm sure is a 2 is someone that my phobic 6 ass trusts more than anyone else in this world, and I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that we tested each other from the get-go (I passed him a note after a few weeks of getting to know each other that said "I don't trust nice people!" lol), and 7 years later we are great. He's very "healthy" and has a great awareness and sense of humor about his own 2-type "selfishness," and its a great combination with my awareness and humor about my worrying-nature. 

When 2s are low average - unhealthy, however - OMG. It makes me yearn for the days of fighting with an 8, who would simply call me a "bitch" if he was mad at me. As opposed to the 2's manipulative, aggressive behavior all fancied up in "niceness." And then if you call them out on it, they don't recognize it, because they've been so "nice!" 

8s - Well, love/hate! I don't actively seek 8s as friends, but I have one, and have certainly stood my ground...


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

I can get along with anyone.


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## caramel_choctop (Sep 20, 2010)

Unhealthy 8s would scare the fuck out of me. I could see unhealthy 1s as obsessed with their 'crusade', which would really, really get to me.


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## Malak (Jun 29, 2011)

Pairing problems that I've seen:
1 and 3: 3's need approval; 1's can't approve of anything. 1's probably also see 3's as lacking attention to detail. This pairing I can vouch for being particularly difficult
2 and 4: just total opposites. I've seen more than one example, and it's fireworks every time. 
8 and 9: again, they seem to be opposites.
Great pairings seem to be 2's and 3's! :happy:


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## Malak (Jun 29, 2011)

Anarchy said:


> I can get along with anyone.


How 9 of you! =)


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## Malak (Jun 29, 2011)

swell813 said:


> Type 3s - perhaps it is because they are my "disintegration" type (I'm a Type 6), but I find 3 males in particular to be EXTRAORDINARILY disingenuous, sleazy even! This is the one personality type where I honestly don't think I count any as friends. I'm also a Leo and dislike dishonesty, dislike when people are one thing in public and a whole other thing behind closed doors, and I find this to be the case with 3s. And I also see myself at my unhealthiest in them, which of course has lots to do with it.
> 
> Type 2s - Let me first say that one and perhaps two of my very best friends in the world are Type 2s - the one I'm sure is a 2 is someone that my phobic 6 ass trusts more than anyone else in this world, and I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that we tested each other from the get-go (I passed him a note after a few weeks of getting to know each other that said "I don't trust nice people!" lol), and 7 years later we are great. He's very "healthy" and has a great awareness and sense of humor about his own 2-type "selfishness," and its a great combination with my awareness and humor about my worrying-nature.
> 
> ...


You know though: what if it were a healthy 3? b/c 6's are the point of integration for 3's? =) I'm just saying: I adore 6's, like seriously. =)


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## silverlined (Jul 8, 2009)

I'm a 4w3. Right now, I'm struggling with type 2s. While there are healthy ones that I admire a lot, some of the less healthy ones strike me as really insincere and too effusive and exagerated. I also don't like that people sometimes see them as more caring and loving, and may see me as cold in comparison. Even though I do care deeply about some people and cause, I have a very subtle way of doing so. 

Our type 3 culture also strikes me as insincere too, but in a different way. And I feel overwhelmed by how much our culture focuses on image and being polished. But strange enough, I'm more tolerant and understanding of individual type 3s and can sort of see where they are coming from.

Sometimes I have a hard time with unhealthy phobic type 6s as some of them can strike me as fussy and uptight. These are only a few individuals though.

My favorite types tend to be 7s, 9s and other 4s.


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## sleepykitty (Apr 18, 2011)

I have trouble with 2's and 9's; both seem to demand too much from me. 2's are an issue because I don't like feeling obligated to someone, and I don't think anyone has a right to demand something from me unless I've expressly promised it. 9's are just draining. I'm very much into encouraging other people to be who they are and with 9's it's always like they're asking, "well who do you want me to be?"


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## Quenjy (Jun 7, 2011)

2, definitely, I have a lot of respect for people like mother theresa and such but the one I know are always on my back "Why do you stay alone ?" "Why don't you talk" "Why are you sad ?" (most of the time i'm not sad but i'm not always smiling so..) Geez this can be sooooo annoying, but if they leave me alone they can be very nice people.

I like 7's, they are very funny most of the time but I couldn't live with one of them.

I think healthy 3's are my favorites, in love at least.


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## gerardio (Dec 23, 2010)

I've probably had the most problems with 2s, 7s and 8s. 
2s whose friendly natures were not as genuine as i first thought. Or whose warmth masked some underlying snobby and stubborn tendencies. 
7s who have become selfish, bossy and annoying while hanging around them for an extended period of time. 
And 8s who have just been assholes to me for no good reason at all. 

Bare in mind i have good friends who are 7s and 2s. I'm also on good terms with the one type 8 that i see regularly. It's wrong to say that just because you didn't get along with a couple of people of a certain type, that you automatically have problems with everyone who is of that type.


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## aestrivex (Mar 7, 2011)

3s are probably the type with which i conflict most obviously and publicly. i am a very individualistically minded, cynical, and essentially truly arrogant person. i am truly convinced of my own intellectual faculties (particularly in my areas of expertise) and i am not afraid to challenge anyone in my own intellectual domain. when i see other people who say stupid things, i don't merely think "that person is probably speaking out of his ass;" i know they are wrong in a deep way that taps into my inner clarity of mind, and sometimes i make extremely blunt comments to this effect. as a rule 3s have shown the least ability to accept my dismissals of their intellectual output, precipitating heated and absolutely irreconcilable conflicts. this board has several such examples. that being said, not all 3s react this way; i know several 3s who are perfectly able to tolerate my acerbic criticisms, including one of my closest friends.

i don't know many 2s, but i have had serious problems in the past with a 2 in my family (my grandmother) who tried to get very close to me and be more of a part of my life. as a result, she would do all of these things for me without asking, and ended up being much more infuriating than she could possibly have ever been helpful. the situation was exacerbated by the fact that i thought she was very stupid and almost never had interesting things to say -- i had essentially no respect for her intellect and i tended to treat her as though she were a blithering idiot not worth talking to and needing the most trivial of things explained to her (which i think she was), which unfortuately did not dissuade her from trying to be a part of my life. i describe the situation as an irreconcilable conflict in lifestyle and values (and as such a decent example of socionics conflicting relations); i unequivocally rejected her life values as a person (rules, familial devotion, superficial friendliness and need for people to not fight on the surface) and she unequivocally rejected mine. this anecdote aside, i think 2s that are not in the position of being in a close familial relationship with me are much less grating and mostly leave me alone as aloof and uninterested in them.


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

It depends with fours. Some are great, some are clingy.

But *nines*. I think they're probably great people in theory, but only in theory. Nines drive me mad. They don't react, don't show emotions, remain calm, and treat everything passive-aggressively. They won't banter with you, won't get excited over debates. You try to test their boundaries and they just take each blow with that silent bland look on their face. I like people who stand up and push back. Nines seem to do the opposite. In fact, they pretty much do the opposite of everything they should. 

Nines...


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## Angel (Jun 18, 2011)

... 

Twos. Fives. 

My mother is a compulsive martyr two and my father is a narcissistic and arrogant five. Neither of them are healthy in any sense of the word.


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## Nomenclature (Aug 9, 2009)

etherealuntouaswithin said:


> Threes (really wing two's) I seem to have the most problems with though.It's usually a conflict of attitude.My bullshit detector hits almighty levels with the whole "You know..im great,but you can be too if you just work hard at it! YEAHHH!".
> 
> I call BS when i see it,am outgoing and obnoxious (loudmouth),pride myself on boldly doing what no one else will..caustic..and dont really play nice.This usually conflicts with 3ish goals..disrupts the flow of success and pisses on the illusion.
> 
> Meanwhile, the excellence,popular standard paragon,and shiny-golden child routine gets to me..because i know that those qualities elude me for the most part. It becomes a competitive thing.


I really don't like 3w2's at all. I mean, good for your future and all, but the people who:


Cry over not getting elected to be NHS officers
Have a college coach and are always talking about blah blah blah WOOOOHOOOO AP CREDITS
Are like, "OH SHIT, my daughter wishes she could be you. You're so perfect. I'm going to make her study for five hours a day to be more like you"
...freaking creep me out. In the words of Scruffy, "If you were like that, I definitely wouldn't be talking to you."

My brother's a 3w2, and so is the girl who everyone keeps thinking is my sister (REALLY generic but ethnic last name), and I strongly resent the comparisons. Oooh, look at them, they're so perfect, and I'm so reckless and capricious, but my character kicks anyone's ass.



deadgirlrunning said:


> Insecure 6s can really annoy me too. That whole "you versus us" crap they try to play is extremely juvenile.


 I know one who spazzed out, all like BETRAYAL IS BETRAYAL, and tried to ruin my social life. Turned my friends against me and everything. That said, I don't get along with NFP 6's very well in general. Not because of what I just said, but just in general.

"I DID EVERYTHING FOR YOU, I deserve blah blah blah in return, you emotional retard" kind of 2's bother me. Same goes for the "Why aren't you smiling? Are you okay? You look sad all the time" kind. -shudder-

9's bother me when they're just... there. :|


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## MorbidNerd (Jul 6, 2011)

lirulin said:


> Twos. Too many invisible strings attached to everything.
> They seem to connect to people through reciprocal obligation.
> I try to remove all obligations I can from my life, both in receiving and imposing.
> Their friendly gestures/offers threaten my system, place me out of balance - I either violate their expectations and earn hate, or run myself down trying to repay what they consider normal courtesy but is exhausting extras to me.
> My distance, intended as respectful and non-pressuring, is to them cold and a door slammed in the face.


You took the words out of my mouth for me. Two's (healthy or not) seem to be the only type I always have problems with. I can usually get along reasonably with any of the other types.


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## MorbidNerd (Jul 6, 2011)

JuliaRhys said:


> It depends with fours. Some are great, some are clingy.
> 
> But *nines*. I think they're probably great people in theory, but only in theory. Nines drive me mad. They don't react, don't show emotions, remain calm, and treat everything passive-aggressively. They won't banter with you, won't get excited over debates. You try to test their boundaries and they just take each blow with that silent bland look on their face. I like people who stand up and push back. Nines seem to do the opposite. In fact, they pretty much do the opposite of everything they should.
> 
> Nines...


Heh, you just described a number of things I really like about Nines. In my opinion standing up for oneself does not require pushing back in a way that would require a loss of composure. I can be extremely argumentative and head strong and have even caused a few people who aggressively began a debate with me to cry, while just standing there calmly and voicing my counterargument without ever raising my voice, becoming excited, or getting personal about it. In some cases the best way to deal with an aggressive and irrational person is just to ignore them and not let them affect you, it is just bothersome to spend time and energy arguing with someone you know has no intention of listening to or considering anything but their own opinion, engaging them would be ultimately futile and a waist of time. I actually wish I was closer to a Nine in their ability to remain calm in most situation and not feel the need to react, as I often respond to any number of ultimately pointless situation just because I cannot resist the urge to argue semantics.


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

MorbidNerd said:


> Heh, you just described a number of things I really like about Nines. In my opinion standing up for oneself does not require pushing back in a way that would require a loss of composure. I can be extremely argumentative and head strong and have even caused a few people who aggressively began a debate with me to cry, while just standing there calmly and voicing my counterargument without ever raising my voice, becoming excited, or getting personal about it. In some cases the best way to deal with an aggressive and irrational person is just to ignore them and not let them affect you, it is just bothersome to spend time and energy arguing with someone you know has no intention of listening to or considering anything but their own opinion, engaging them would be ultimately futile and a waist of time. I actually wish I was closer to a Nine in their ability to remain calm in most situation and not feel the need to react, as I often respond to any number of ultimately pointless situation just because I cannot resist the urge to argue semantics.


I get what you're saying, but I think you missed the point about my post. I didn't mean "push back" in the sense that they're irrational or emotional. 全然. That's not even a conversation, let alone a debate. 

What I meant is they won't stand up against someone who is testing their boundaries. For example. 

Nine says he likes Quentin Tarantino films because of all the blood and gore. The Eight responds with "But doesn't all the gore cheapen the quality of the film medium?" And the Nine responds with something akin to "Maybe," before moving on.

Not only did the Nine not defend himself, but he totally destroyed any chance of a good conversation. He didn't push back by defending his opinions, even on the most basic level. It's akin to having a conversation with a wall.

By asking questions like that, I (I don't speak for all Eights) am looking to see whether or not the Nine will openly "push back" by offering a counter opinion. If he does, great. If not, you're stuck on the tail end of a conversation with less life than a popped balloon.

You get to know people better by asking them questions they have to elaborate on. Nines seem absolutely clueless about this.


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

Nomenclature said:


> 9's bother me when they're just... there. :|


Hahahahaha. Classic.


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## MorbidNerd (Jul 6, 2011)

JuliaRhys said:


> I get what you're saying, but I think you missed the point about my post. I didn't mean "push back" in the sense that they're irrational or emotional. 全然. That's not even a conversation, let alone a debate.
> 
> What I meant is they won't stand up against someone who is testing their boundaries. For example.
> 
> ...


Ah, it seems I did indeed miss the point you were trying to make. Thank you for the explanation, I understand what you mean now. Though it probably would not bother me as much, I would also find engaging in a conversation of that nature to be lacking.


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## Malak (Jun 29, 2011)

JuliaRhys said:


> I get what you're saying, but I think you missed the point about my post. I didn't mean "push back" in the sense that they're irrational or emotional. 全然. That's not even a conversation, let alone a debate.
> 
> What I meant is they won't stand up against someone who is testing their boundaries. For example.
> 
> ...


Conceptually, I agree with you. We learn a lot more for our differences than our agreements, and I would hate a world where I was surrounded by mini-me's.

However, I had to think for a while about the 9's I know, and all of them I know of will in fact express their own views with people they feel they can. The only times I see them take that stand back approach is when they are with someone who they feel is itching for a fight. They may be picking up on your tests and quite frankly decide they are not interested in participating since the whole notion of a test is exactly antithetical to their approach on life. In fact, I find 9's and 8's to be pretty much opposites, so the more an 8 pushes, the more a 9 refuses to move.

To draw that out further, the 9's I know of, when I first meet them, do in fact act very non-committal at first on most issues of import, but the closer I get to them, the more I find their own individuality bubbling under the surface and once they feel comfortable to just "be", then the more they do in fact express their views.

I can honestly appreciate that approach myself, because sometimes it gets old if you feel that someone is just looking for an argument all the time. I love a good debate, and I will do it with my friends because it doesn't turn into a war, even if it gets quite heated, but we know, it's just an exchange of ideas. 

BUT, there are some people, it doesn't matter what you say. They will argue it just to win and prove they are louder, stronger, more dominant or whatever, and I could see a 9 viewing an 8's test as just that. I know some 8's, some healthy, some definitely not, and like right now, I'm thinking about a particularly unhealthy 8 I know, and it's all about him controlling the conversation, controlling everyone else's thought process, I'll see people just shut down, even non-9's, just everyone around him, b/c they get tired of the constant tug-of-war, because he comes in like a bull in a china shop every time.

It's not even just conversations, it's policy, it's everything, like he's some grand patriarch that we should all just be glad to live in the comforting shadow of his protection.


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

Malak said:


> Conceptually, I agree with you. We learn a lot more for our differences than our agreements, and I would hate a world where I was surrounded by mini-me's.
> 
> However, I had to think for a while about the 9's I know, and all of them I know of will in fact express their own views with people they feel they can. The only times I see them take that stand back approach is when they are with someone who they feel is itching for a fight. They may be picking up on your tests and quite frankly decide they are not interested in participating since the whole notion of a test is exactly antithetical to their approach on life. In fact, I find 9's and 8's to be pretty much opposites, so the more an 8 pushes, the more a 9 refuses to move.
> 
> ...


Again, there seems to be the underlying assumption that by asking questions I'm looking ("itching") for a fight.

If a nine thinks that every question is a precursor to a fight, they're paranoid.


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## Malak (Jun 29, 2011)

@ JuliaRhys, I'm suggesting it could be your approach. Don't you think it's even remotely possible that the way you do it precludes them engaging you? Is it necessarily something about them? Communication is an art, but we are not all artists. Some of us are just technicians, approaching it one way, as if, like towels and blankets, one size fits all. It may bother you that they don't engage, but it's not because all 9's don't. They just won't with you. I'm sure I get that from people too. I know there are people that I just don't make that connection with, but it doesn't mean they don't connect with people. They just don't connect with me.


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

Malak said:


> @ JuliaRhys, I'm suggesting it could be your approach. Don't you think it's even remotely possible that the way you do it precludes them engaging you? Is it necessarily something about them? Communication is an art, but we are not all artists. Some of us are just technicians, approaching it one way, as if, like towels and blankets, one size fits all. It may bother you that they don't engage, but it's not because all 9's don't. They just won't with you. I'm sure I get that from people too. I know there are people that I just don't make that connection with, but it doesn't mean they don't connect with people. They just don't connect with me.


I get that you think it's my approach. I sincerely promise you it's not.

On another note, you have to realize the dichotomy of a forum post. This is asking about particular types that people have problems with. There is a certain level of stereotyping expected in the answer. On the other hand, when I (a poster) write a response, you have to remember I'm only speaking from the small sampling of people I know. I certainly don't know all nines, and I'm sure some of them are lovely people. The one or two I do know just happen to be somewhat miserable folk to talk to. Maybe they only do well at dinner parties or concert events. I don't know. But casual conversation with them at get togethers between mutual friends has always resulted in crash and burn impressions. 

It's different from not connecting. They don't even attempt to make a tentative connection first to see if there's anything to be had in the friendship.


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

In real life, ENTP. On internet forums, ENTP.....can't be a coincidence >>>>>hiding from all ENTP and Fe


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## swell813 (Jun 29, 2011)

Julia - you seem like an 8 I would adore to be friends with, as I don't mind that test! I've realized I can be quite the contrarian 6, lately, and sometimes I feel like I'm hurting my 8 best friend's feelings by always having to be a little contrarian with every opinion he expresses. Of course my motivations are a little different when I'm contrarian - it's "testing," to be sure, but it's a little more security oriented in a way I feel too tired to explain right now. I argue with myself so much that I always see a thousand different sides, and my 8 friend brings out the devil's advocate in me quite strongly. Reading your post, though, I'm wondering if my contrarian-ness is actually one of the reasons my 8 friend likes to be around me! 

I do have a kind of romantic feeling about 9s, though. I actually know two 9s who are really, really firm in certain sets of opinions they have. They won't get into extensive debates, but they will assert opinions I see as very brave quite bluntly and without any bullshit. And then they are done. I tend to really adore that, especially since my thought processes can be very long and sometimes tedious to myself. I admire their brevity, which, since I see the "security" impulse in my need to be contrarian/debate, is a quality I see as quite brave and would like to acquire. I actually like their unwillingness to be "tested" in an argumentative way, as long as it's coupled with the strong stance that these two 9s I adore have. 

For me with the 9s it's more the confrontation thing that frustrates me. I'm not a confrontational person, but will not back down from confrontation if one is necessary. 9s tend to dissociate when shit hits the fan. This frustrates me because hey, it's life - shit hits the fan sometimes!


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

swell813 said:


> Julia - you seem like an 8 I would adore to be friends with, as I don't mind that test! I've realized I can be quite the contrarian 6, lately, and sometimes I feel like I'm hurting my 8 best friend's feelings by always having to be a little contrarian with every opinion he expresses. Of course my motivations are a little different when I'm contrarian - it's "testing," to be sure, but it's a little more security oriented in a way I feel too tired to explain right now. I argue with myself so much that I always see a thousand different sides, and my 8 friend brings out the devil's advocate in me quite strongly. Reading your post, though, I'm wondering if my contrarian-ness is actually one of the reasons my 8 friend likes to be around me!
> 
> I do have a kind of romantic feeling about 9s, though. I actually know two 9s who are really, really firm in certain sets of opinions they have. They won't get into extensive debates, but they will assert opinions I see as very brave quite bluntly and without any bullshit. And then they are done. I tend to really adore that, especially since my thought processes can be very long and sometimes tedious to myself. I admire their brevity, which, since I see the "security" impulse in my need to be contrarian/debate, is a quality I see as quite brave and would like to acquire. I actually like their unwillingness to be "tested" in an argumentative way, as long as it's coupled with the strong stance that these two 9s I adore have.
> 
> For me with the 9s it's more the confrontation thing that frustrates me. I'm not a confrontational person, but will not back down from confrontation if one is necessary. 9s tend to dissociate when shit hits the fan. This frustrates me because hey, it's life - shit hits the fan sometimes!


I do like it when people push back, although too much after the point has been proven will wear me out. I don't know what type of person your friend is, but just be careful that you aren't being too contrarian with him. No doubt most eights (myself included) love someone who is willing to be assertive, but it's more an initial test than a long-running one. Debating can get old sometimes, even for us. But yeah, if you're friend is anything like me, that's probably a good reason for friendship. 

That said, it sounds like we would get along very well. I like people who have something to say.

And actually, now that I think about it, I think I share a similar romantic attraction to nines, albeit in the fictional world. Many television/book characters that I love run in the 1w9 or 9w1 categories. Which is odd, because I know if I met them in real life I would hate them. Funny how that works. 

And good for you, liking all those nines. Heaven knows, they need someone who can stand being with them.


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## swell813 (Jun 29, 2011)

Well, though, now that I think about it, the 9s I adore are very peripheral to me, who I see pretty infrequently - the best friend of a good friend (an 8) and the boyfriend of a good friend (a 4). But I *adore* it every time I interact with them, because they express such brave things so succinctly and then just stop! That's a trait I want very much as my own, because, while I'm not as bad anymore, I've often thought something very strongly and then critiqued my own opinion. Anyway, I actually don't have any close relationships with any 9s myself! I wonder if I romanticize them and would never be compatible with them intimately. Which makes me sad, as I am quite, quite in love with a 9 right now.

As for testing/debating, my 8 friend and I had our "test" period a bit ago. Now, it's more like if he messages me a news story or something with some commentary, I will offer a "yeah, but did you think about...." or even just an add-on that is disturbingly thorough and well thought-out for something that generally takes about a minute to compose. I actually do not have this impulse with other types (it's actually more like my relationship with myself), and, not so much anymore, but I've been worried that doing so insults him (6!). It never occurred to me until your post that it might actually play a role in our bond!

I'm a Leo 6 and he's an Aries 8 by the way - monstrous!!!!


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

@swell813 Hahahaha. I happen to be an Aries 8 as well.

Yeah, you should be fine, then. Eights like people who do that. It keeps the conversation dynamic. 

As for nines, maybe it's the lack of interaction that makes them appealing. Kind of like deep fried oreos. Your eyes devour it, but once you actually get your hands on it, you're not sure it was everything you hoped for.


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## Malak (Jun 29, 2011)

JuliaRhys said:


> I get that you think it's my approach. I sincerely promise you it's not.
> 
> On another note, you have to realize the dichotomy of a forum post. This is asking about particular types that people have problems with. There is a certain level of stereotyping expected in the answer. On the other hand, when I (a poster) write a response, you have to remember I'm only speaking from the small sampling of people I know. I certainly don't know all nines, and I'm sure some of them are lovely people. The one or two I do know just happen to be somewhat miserable folk to talk to. Maybe they only do well at dinner parties or concert events. I don't know. But casual conversation with them at get togethers between mutual friends has always resulted in crash and burn impressions.
> 
> It's different from not connecting. They don't even attempt to make a tentative connection first to see if there's anything to be had in the friendship.


That's a valid point, of course. You can never paint all of 9's with one brush, or any type for that matter. And you might be right. It could be the people you meet. On the other hand, I've seen several 9-8 interactions, and one 9-8 pairing that ended quickly, and I just can't help but think there is something that never seems to launch. Connection isn't necessarily the right word, but there's something there, something that the two each time seem to size each other up and decide it just isn't going to happen.


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

> I'm a type 8 and it seems every time I have a problem with someone, he or she is a type 6. They seem to really object to my straight forward style. What's your experience?





> I dont do well with eights,i resent most that i come across...and do my best to shit on them when they (inevitably) come at me.


It seems that I am seeing a pattern here. I am a type 6 and don't generally do well with 8's either. I think it is the whole challenge things that 8's do and the fact that 8's tend to be controlling. 6's feel threatened by 8's because they tend to make the 6 question their safety and well being and control them (6's have authority issues). Plus, if they are counter-phobic, they give the 6 a rush by challenging the 8. However, 8's are hot or cold for me. The 8 will either be my best friend or I will completely hate them. Most of the time, I hate them though. 

I also tend to not get along with 1's. They are generally very closed minded and I hate that.

I sometimes don't get along with 5's. A lot of 5's can appear very cruel and sadistic like unhealthy 8's and they can be a pain in the ass to deal with.

I don't like a lot of 3's either because I find that a large amount of them are fake and many are also backstabbing.


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## DarkSideOfLight (Feb 15, 2011)

MuChApArAdOx said:


> In real life, ENTP. On internet forums, ENTP.....can't be a coincidence >>>>>hiding from all ENTP and Fe


Yeah and that's probably why half of your posts land on ENTP's forum or picking arguments with ENTPs elsewhere. Can't be a coincidence. I think you are in love with ENTPs. You just think you hate us... too bad that you feel something else... anyway thx for the never-ending-promotion of the type I really appreciate that 

The types most likely to be ignored by me is 1, 6 and 9. I don't have problems with them because in most cases I wouldn't pay attention to theirs existence.
I think 9w1, 1w9, 6w7 makes "the trio".


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## Jamie.Ether (Jul 1, 2011)

I'm 4w5 and 4w3's can really make me angry. 
I wish it weren't so. I think it's because I can relate to them and see potential in them, so I get frustrated when that potential doesn't come out. Having Type 2 and Type 9 influences [The Helper and The Peacemaker] and also being INFJ [The Counselor], I really like helping people and like for people to be happy, so when I come across people who, sadly, have seemingly chosen to be unhappy and focus on doom and gloom, and won't allow me to help them at all, it frustrates me more than anything. And even though I can be emotionally intense, the 5 influence allows me to detach and think logically and objectively. When people are completely illogical and extremely emotional, I don't know how to react sometimes.


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

I have the most problem with ESTJ, ISTJ, and ESTP


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