# What do you guys think of ENFJs?



## Killionaire (Oct 13, 2009)

I think ENFJ's are big butt kissers. They seem to be the most subdued of all the extroverts. I had a friend when I was a kid. I think he was an ENFJ. I liked him a lot. I think he was gay. He hung out with girls all the time but they were just his friends, not girlfriends. He never told me about having crushes on any girls. I wish I had kept him as a friend. He had a high IQ too. He was great. I love ENFJ's. Very charming and smart. Except there might be some mean ones. I saw a guy on Survivor who may have been an ENFJ. He was rather mean and unempathetic. But he was good at manipulating people. I think L. Ron Hubbard was an ENFJ. He was a good science fiction writer, but his Scientology cult is awful. If I were going to change my personality type, ENFJ would be one of my top choices.

I'm absolutely sure that Lady Gaga is an ENFJ. I've seen her complimenting her fans and giving people gifts. I have a lot of other reasons to think she's an ENFJ. She matches the ENFJ type description perfectly.


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## absyrd (Jun 1, 2013)

I know that most ENFJs are genuinely good people and that they are magnetic to the spotlight.

However, the only ENFJ I have ever known was a teacher of mine. She taught Bible class at my private Christian school. I showed no restraint in expressing my beliefs. Before we had experienced any conflict, she failed a very personal and detailed essay that I wrote; a dissertation of my faith that explained why I was an atheist. She told me to my face that I did not choose an "appropriate" topic and it was "poorly" written. My fuse was much shorter then and I demanded a conference with the school principal. She essentially told me not to waste her time with such a trivial matter. She told me that she does not like "crybabies".

The bitch cut the wrong wire, that's all I'll say.


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## PrinceofPride (Feb 27, 2013)

I've only met one ENFJ, and honestly I don't think I've ever felt this close and comfortable around someone before, which says a lot since I don't trust very many people. Although, we do get into these little Te/Fe dom clashes every now and then, and I feel he can be too caring torwards others at times. In fact, a lot of xNFJs I've known seem to have this problem. They do all this stuff for others to make them happy, only to get screwed over in the end and I'm just left wondering "why do you even bother?"


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## evilarchitect (May 20, 2010)

my impressions:

great people on the whole, very giving, imaginative, community builders, up their own asses, accepting of my bullshit, less accepting of abstraction, anxious, uncertain, wanting, impatient


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## DeathRipper (Jan 23, 2013)

Texero F said:


> My mom is an ENFJ. She is very keen at reading people and their emotional states extremely accurately with in a matter seconds. She can be very biased though and not at all the best person to get objective criticism from. Also she tends to do things she doesn't like ie drinking beer to appease the social dynamics of a situation. Pretty good at remaining optimistic as well.


Do we have a same mother? XD Exacta that.


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## entpgirl (Apr 6, 2013)

ENFJ males can be very manipulative


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## motionpicturesoundtrack (Jul 4, 2013)

entpgirl said:


> ENFJ males can be very manipulative


I feel sorry for them sometimes, it's like they have this huge power for good and a big portion of their lives is spent on trying to figure themselves out. Think ENFJ males have it a little harder than the females.


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## motionpicturesoundtrack (Jul 4, 2013)

evilarchitect said:


> my impressions:
> 
> great people on the whole, very giving, imaginative, community builders, up their own asses, accepting of my bullshit, less accepting of abstraction, anxious, uncertain, wanting, impatient


My sister is one of you guys and that's how she feels about me and because of the honesty our relationship is very strong. Wouldn't trade her for another type at all despite it not always being smooth sailing


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## motionpicturesoundtrack (Jul 4, 2013)

aphinion said:


> I know a few, and I generally like them. But in a weird way, they almost scare me. I feel like there is a lot about them they're not saying, and that I can't really trust them.


Ooh I hope my ENTJ doesn't feel this way. How do you think ENFJs could be more trustworthy?


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## motionpicturesoundtrack (Jul 4, 2013)

Calvin said:


> I have a hard time relating to ENFJ men, but that's not the case with the women. Never met an ENFJ girl that didn't steal my heart. I'll probably end up marrying one. lol


Aw it would have been nice if me and my INTP boy had worked out. We had some great times together


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## motionpicturesoundtrack (Jul 4, 2013)

r4ch3l said:


> My sister is an ENFJ. I love that they are enthusiastic, usually intelligent, and always down for an adventure (same as ENFPs). However I do find ENFJs to be a bit manipulative and defensive/aggressive when they feel they are being attacked.


Aw that's a nice description. I tend to get defensive when I'm feeling insecure, which itself stems from something usually ridiculous. I have to learn to voice my unhappinesses more, as insignificant as I perceive them to be. Luckily I have a great support system in the form of some ENTJs, an ENTP, INFJ, INFP and ENFP


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## motionpicturesoundtrack (Jul 4, 2013)

absyrd said:


> I know that most ENFJs are genuinely good people and that they are magnetic to the spotlight.
> 
> However, the only ENFJ I have ever known was a teacher of mine. She taught Bible class at my private Christian school. I showed no restraint in expressing my beliefs. Before we had experienced any conflict, she failed a very personal and detailed essay that I wrote; a dissertation of my faith that explained why I was an atheist. She told me to my face that I did not choose an "appropriate" topic and it was "poorly" written. My fuse was much shorter then and I demanded a conference with the school principal. She essentially told me not to waste her time with such a trivial matter. She told me that she does not like "crybabies".
> 
> The bitch cut the wrong wire, that's all I'll say.


Ah that's so unfortunate! But the action is not representative of ENFJs as a whole. I myself am a teacher and would not have responded to your paper in that way. I am an avid believer of respecting individual opinions, something which is down to personal history.


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## txracy (Jun 6, 2013)

I married an ENFJ, so obviously I don't HATE the personality type, but I would be lying if I said we were perfectly compatible or that it's an easy pairing.

The most frustrating part is his rigid belief system. He is always on his moral high horse (and I don't mean moral in a religious sense, as neither of us are religious). It's just that he will always believe HIS way of doing things and HIS personal ethics are the only right ones, and that it's absolute. He has a hard time wrapping his head around the gray areas of issues. (Not sure if that's an ENFJ thing or just him personally).

I do like that he is a natural, comfortable leader. He just falls into that role and everyone is glad to follow his lead. It takes a lot of pressure off of me in social situations, as I prefer to be more in the background. A lot of our relationship is complementary. We play off each other's strengths.

I do wish he'd just STOP TALKING sometimes though! He will actually just narrate all the mundane things he's doing... "Oh look, we have gouda!... hmmm, where's that knife?... thought it was over here... Did you move it? No, wait, I remember I washed it and it's in the dishwasher... I should wipe down the front of the dishwasher." This irritates me and I've asked him why he does it, and he says it's because it's uncomfortably silent and he literally TALKS JUST TO LISTEN TO HIMSELF TALK.

I now own a pair of headphones to drown that out. 

He told me once during an argument, "I don't care what you THINK, I care how you make other people FEEL!" I think that right there is the core of our differences. I couldn't care less about someone's feelings, but I care a LOT about what and how and why they think the way they do. He just wants people to be happy, even at his own expense (he's often spread thin and socially exhausted because he has a hard time saying "no" and feels guilty). 

I think ENFJs make good parents. They can take the lead, they're consistent with their beliefs and will enforce them, but they're also nurturing, empathetic, and are really good at putting the kids' needs above their own. This also translates into them being good teachers too, as every ENFJ I've known either is a teacher, or seriously considered it.


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## Jetsune Lobos (Apr 23, 2012)

They have friends that make the prospect of having friends to me quite terrifying.

They seem to love and hate me at the same time. Also can't fake a laugh worth a shit around one.

I know if I ever put one in the same room with me and my INTJ brother for an hour not a soul would leave unscathed.


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## aphinion (Apr 30, 2013)

motionpicturesoundtrack said:


> Ooh I hope my ENTJ doesn't feel this way. How do you think ENFJs could be more trustworthy?


It might just be nice if they didn't withhold information based on who they're talking to. Other than that, I do enjoy being around them quite a bit!


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## absyrd (Jun 1, 2013)

motionpicturesoundtrack said:


> Ah that's so unfortunate! But the action is not representative of ENFJs as a whole. I myself am a teacher and would not have responded to your paper in that way. I am an avid believer of respecting individual opinions, something which is down to personal history.


Glad to read this. I've just been dispatched from a psych ward and did not have a very good time in "group" session with our ENFJ "counselor". I was beginning to lose faith in your teaching methods


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## absyrd (Jun 1, 2013)

motionpicturesoundtrack said:


> Ah that's so unfortunate! But the action is not representative of ENFJs as a whole. I myself am a teacher and would not have responded to your paper in that way. I am an avid believer of respecting individual opinions, something which is down to personal history.


Glad to read this. I've just been dispatched from a psych ward and did not have a very good time in "group" session with our ENFJ "counselor". I was beginning to lose faith in your teaching methods 

I was looking forward to a Nurse Ratched ISTJ type at this place XD


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## motionpicturesoundtrack (Jul 4, 2013)

I think that as a personality group titled "The Teacher" it's sometimes misrepresentative of the name. In every mbti group there are idiots and non idiots. I think the positive connotation of teacher is abused sometimes by people who just do not know the order of things. She was probably acting like an enfj in having strong beliefs, but it's a shame that it was at the expense of someone else rather than for the greater good (but then in her opinion that probably was for the greater good!) 

Oh well, at least you are not alone in your atheist beliefs.


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## DylanA (Apr 25, 2013)

I don't know much about them, but they seem to share my leadership & manipulation techniques. However, they're a bit more genuine with their manipulation it seems. They also have "less balls" if you will than ENTJs for example, since they have Fe. I guess you could say they're nicer, but less capable ENTJs...I have no real idea though.


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## motionpicturesoundtrack (Jul 4, 2013)

DylanA said:


> I don't know much about them, but they seem to share my leadership & manipulation techniques. However, they're a bit more genuine with their manipulation it seems. They also have "less balls" if you will than ENTJs for example, since they have Fe. I guess you could say they're nicer, but less capable ENTJs...I have no real idea though.


There's no other type I perceive as having more balls than the ENTJ :tongue: so your claim is somewhat valid



Zippy BawBaw said:


> They have friends that make the prospect of having friends to me quite terrifying.
> 
> They seem to love and hate me at the same time. Also can't fake a laugh worth a shit around one.
> 
> I know if I ever put one in the same room with me and my INTJ brother for an hour not a soul would leave unscathed.


If type is anything to go by.... You ENTPs! Seriously don't know what's good for you! I tell one to stay away from me all the time as I'm no good for him but he keeps bouncing back. In my teenage years I was mistype as one too. INTJs I adore unconditionally.


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## Le Beau Coeur (Jan 30, 2011)

I think they are usually wonderful.


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## peoplesayimanahole (May 21, 2013)

I don't know if I met any for sure. One of my friends tested herself and said she was enfj but I highly doubt it. I suspect one of my first year dorm mates was an enfj and we got and still get along great. We just don't really seek out each other if we're not right there.

I personally really like and respect her. We're so different but I always felt like she understood me and I kinda felt more motivated every time I spoke with her. I had a undiagnosed learning disorder until second year of university. She always made me feel better about myself when I complained to her about my problems 

She's also very vocal about her principles but not in an annoying way. So yeah if she is actually an ENFJ I'd say I have great respect for people like her. They're serious hard working people. They also make people feel better effortlessly. I can actually notice the difference between the way XSFJ try to make you feel better and nfj trying to make you feel better.

The enfj seemed to say just the right thing and when she didn't have anything to say she asked questions which is more than I can say for other types. 

I don't know how we'd get along if we were to work together on a project because in that aspect we are complete opposites. I even remember her saying watching how I work so last minute made her feel stressed out and she got more stressed out because I wasn't getting stressed out haha. 

Overall, mad respect from a female entp.


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## motionpicturesoundtrack (Jul 4, 2013)

@_peoplesayimanahole_
I'm glad there are people who are able to appreciate what we as ENFJs have as positive traits. I think that too much negativity is put upon our understanding of emotionality, saying that we use the power to manipulate people. I hate the word manipulate. I prefer 'implicitly love'.


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## steffy (Aug 21, 2012)

Squishy upbeat. Give me energy, hard to say no to!


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## SamTheMediocre (Mar 7, 2013)

I have generally good relations with them, but my one pet peeve with them is that they get way too ahead of themselves sometimes. They need to just slow down a little before jumping to their next big adventure.


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## motionpicturesoundtrack (Jul 4, 2013)

@steffy
y u ENTPs so nice to us!


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## motionpicturesoundtrack (Jul 4, 2013)

SamTheMediocre said:


> I have generally good relations with them, but my one pet peeve with them is that they get way too ahead of themselves sometimes. They need to just slow down a little before jumping to their next big adventure.


Interesting... Could you elaborate on this?


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## SamTheMediocre (Mar 7, 2013)

Sure. In my experiences, you guys are always excited to go and do something, or start something new and grand. It's not terribly unlike INTP's such as myself. The difference between us however, is that we'll spend a while preparing and thinking, while you guys are usually interested in just starting and getting to it without thinking about any of the details or risks. At times it can be rather endearing and child like. Other times, you guys can be a little over bearing about it, and it can make me a little uncomfortable. That being said, I love your types enthusiasm and the passion you have for most anything you do.


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## Gollum (Aug 7, 2013)

They kind of scare me. 

I have a number of ENFJ friends, and one in particular can tell me exactly what I'm feeling without my telegraphing it on purpose. It's spooky. I'm also more vulnerable to ENFJ manipulation (which, granted, is usually rather benign) than to that of any other type.


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## Kingpin (Aug 14, 2013)

One of them tried to randomly kiss me once


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## motionpicturesoundtrack (Jul 4, 2013)

@Kingpin ^3^


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