# How can an intj find his flow again?



## Bnova (Feb 10, 2015)

Yeah man ive been stuck now for a long time underperforming in school im tired of this i need a method to get back on my feet again! I'm tired of showing people how weak I am just to gain some kind of social approvement i want my old cold logical self back! I already broke most of my ties with people that are fake in my life,Im ready to reapproach life the intj way,i need some guidance on how to do this, all intellectuals and rationals may participate all other types your EQ knowledge will also be appreciated, this is a unit type form of discussion all Rationals give me cold hard logic, all other types your social input will be well received...lets do this!


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## Antiloop (Feb 10, 2014)

Is there any concrete goal you can motivate yourself with? Or are you just eager to do well is school, for the sake of doing well in school? Like if whatever you're studying is relevant to a hobby or something you'd like to work with in the future. Aiming for a goal is the only thing I can think of. Unfortunetly, at least for me, it's either there or it's not, I cannot force it.

As for underachieving because of peer preasure, I would try and shake that attitude off. It may be cool in younger years, but as you get older I think the reverse is true - if you know what you're doing and you're doing well in class, people'll be eager to work with you. 

It's important to do well in high school if you want more options for future studies. And you definately don't want a slacker attitude while doing higher education, that'd just be wasting your time! I know quite a lot of people who, just a few years after graduating, went back to studying classes they flunked in high school, because they now know what they want to do, but they aren't eligible to the right university programmes.


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## Kevin De Smet (Nov 26, 2013)

We largely have to play with the hand that life has dealt us. I wish it were different, but it ain't.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

I think it's sort of a rebellion from your subconscious. In my experience with school, the longer I went the more I associated my success on paper with pleasing others' egos and playing a social game to give a superficial notion of success. This is discouraging to me, although for some I can see it being a type of motivation. But I feel like you'd have to be vain to be motivated by that. I've had spells of slacking in school from elementary school years all through college, it's simply because if I can't see the value in what I'm doing it starts to feel like I'm doing it for someone else, which of course for an INTJ is exhausting. So even though it's self-destructive to slack our egos get something from it because it's going against others who would praise us otherwise... it preserves our independence. we'd almost prefer the self-destruction to the praise. Does that make sense? 

I'm kind of trying to figure this out myself because I recently finished undergrad and I'm trying to find work without projecting my attitude towards academics ("I'm just doing all this as a game") into my job-hunting. Some of the time that we feel this way it's not always accurate, it's just something we've formed a habit of doing with anything that's widely socially approved of ("if it's socially approved of that means I'm doing it for superficial reasons and it's not of value.") I guess the best advice I have, if this is accurate to your situation, is look for value in something case-by-case, based on what you personally value, rather than based on how many people are telling you to do it and giving compliments for 'giving them what they want' and following their rules.


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## flloyd2277 (Feb 13, 2015)

These are interesting points.


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## Garet (Jan 14, 2015)

Sigh. 

If it makes you feel any better I go through this every damn day with my education. I don't mean to sound conceited or malicious, but it seems like I just know everything I'm in already. Every course I've taken is common knowledge, and I just utterly despise having to go through the same content. Nothing involves critical thinking, if any little. Much like high school, and as I predicted, it's the same thing--play the game, fill out your questions, write what you think about said options, you can't input what you actually believe, whatever. Limitations. That's what American education has taught me. You can't think or have it your way, and you have to deal with it. It sucks. My mind is not made for this nonsense. 

From what you're feeling, I understand. School dulls me out, and makes me feel stupid since there's nothing intriguing about it and I fall into an unproductive and senseless state. I actually cried one day because of how depressing it is. But what has helped me more than ever to escape the reality of the mundane social and school life are books. *Books* have probably saved my sanity. Because in books, your imagination flows. You make out the characters, the scene, and generally it's just nice. Your mind never stops thinking when you read, and you gain a better perspective, if not more perspectives, on life and other subjective tenses others hold. You begin to understand why others think and feel differently than you, and you begin to comprehend some misunderstood/unseen metaphors and behaviors in reality as well that you haven't noticed. It's interesting to learn, and books help you learn. Rebel and have chaos in your head! But I guess I could say it recharges me. It could do the same for you, maybe not.

And just a little advice from someone with experience: there's nothing wrong with being logical, at all in fact, but please try not to be cold. The way we feel about ourselves is how we treat others, or so Forni suggests. And I will say, being tact and 'warm' has made me feel a whole lot better in the past years since I've changed from being 'cold'. If you want to hear it from a theoretical fashion: with being warm, sympathy and empathy both seem to persuade to different areas of conversation, and could be used as a strategy for your benefit. Not only that, and I do hope you wouldn't abuse that benefit negatively, but it's great to have an ability or skill to where you can connect deeper into people than just Logos alone. Remember: an INTJ is saying this!

Overall, keep in mind I can't determine or control your future and goals. That's up to you, and is your destiny.


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## The_Wanderer (Jun 13, 2013)

Surfing. And that was both a play on words and a humble suggestion.


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## with water (Aug 13, 2014)

High challenge and high skill.


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## Notus Asphodelus (Jan 20, 2015)

I prefer to learn on my own terms.. The only thing good about school is the prospect of networking. That's it.


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