# The nature of advice giving



## nonnaci (Sep 25, 2011)

I'm interested in how advice giving manifests itself though the mbti types so as a case study, I'm looking at the variations in how people help a fellow compatriot.

e.g. Suppose a close friend (trust is not an issue) comes to you (as a third party) with a problem and is looking for an opinion. Describe your running thought process?

Although I'm not an SJ, I'll post my own account as an example.

INTJ: 
As your problem is posed, I'm trying to reduce it into some latent frameworks/theories/symbolisms in an attempt to remove information bias (dom Ni). For selecting the model, I'm looking at the one that most "cogently" represents the problem in an objective sense when applied to reality (aux Te). However, the initial point of the discovery process is often my own preferences/beliefs (tert Fi) rather than the perspective of the advisee (Fe). Overall, the flavor of the eventual solution and justification tends not to address the advisee specifically, but rather becomes a larger class of solutions to which your problem/solution mapping is subsumed in.


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## LeelaWho (Nov 28, 2011)

Well, I can't give an in-depth analysis involving functions, but here's my response.

I just usually focus on finding something small, manageable, and practical that they can do to improve the situation. 

For example, if person X tells me that they want to get into better shape, I'd ask them about their situation, assess their fitness levels, and then make suggestions that are within their reach (with a little bit of work). 

Usually, being proactive and finding out the problem isn't as overwhelming as they thought is enough for them to start figuring out on their own what they can do next.

If they have no interest in any change, I know they just want to vent and/or are maybe "stuck", so I freely let my mind wander while pretending to pay attention.

I'm not sure if this is type related or more influenced by the education classes I took in college.


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## See Above (Oct 4, 2011)

nonnaci said:


> I'm interested in how advice giving manifests itself though the mbti types so as a case study, I'm looking at the variations in how people help a fellow compatriot.
> 
> e.g. Suppose a close friend (trust is not an issue) comes to you (as a third party) with a problem and is looking for an opinion. Describe your running thought process?
> 
> ...


For it to be a genuine case study, more standardized detail is required, otherwise we may all be responding to specific "imagined" problems of different types in our own minds. For example, what is the nature of the problem? Is it dire or routine? Is this friend calm or in a state of emotional distress? What are the variables? (Money? People? Time? Health?)

The thought processes, on my part, would be rather situation specific. One process does not fit all. At times, my process might be very similar to your approach, at other times, not.


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## jeffbobs (Jan 27, 2012)

i will basically explain in the most detail and most amounts of facts possible what each option entails and that they must pick what they do, i find a lot of people who are asking for advice have clouded opinions of their choices because of the amount of bias people they have spoken to, so making it clear what each choice involves so they can clearly make their own choice.


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

I give em the facts.


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## WickedQueen (Jun 1, 2009)

nonnaci said:


> As your problem is posed, I'm trying to reduce it into some latent frameworks/theories/symbolisms in an attempt to remove information bias (dom Ni). For selecting the model, I'm looking at the one that most "cogently" represents the problem in an objective sense when applied to reality (aux Te). However, the initial point of the discovery process is often my own preferences/beliefs (tert Fi) rather than the perspective of the advisee (Fe). Overall, the flavor of the eventual solution and justification tends not to address the advisee specifically, but rather becomes a larger class of solutions to which your problem/solution mapping is subsumed in.


LOL. I'm sorry, but your post looks like you are trying too hard to sound intelligent. Not that I care, though. It's just an impression that quickly pop up in my mind when I read that post.

Anyway, when someone -IRL- come to me for some advice, I usually ask questions to pull out as many facts from them as possible and help them to find their own answer. I do this because I believe that most people, when facing a problem, their subconscious mind is usually already know what to do, so all I do is just listen and try to make them realize what they really want to do.

Online advice, on the other hand, doesn't give me much clues or the big picture on what to say, so I usually just say anything on my mind.


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## Dark Romantic (Dec 27, 2011)

I just ask them what they want out of the situation, start feeding them possibilities, and explain the pros and cons of each. Or, I'll just tell them exactly what they should do, and how to do it. It depends on my mood.


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## CataclysmSolace (Mar 13, 2012)

Depends on the problem. I will ask the person what they need help with, and what they expect (if needed) as an answer. I will read over the paper if in written form or pick out the main parts of the speech. Depending on the question, it would depend on how much thought I need to to figure out the whole problem. I figure out the necessary parts and compare with past experiences. The best way that I would see without considerable effort for the person would be the one I choose. After I figure out the way I will tell them what I think is the best way to do it. 
^-Plan it in my head and then as in back over my mind as I say it and evaluate what I say as I say it and later too-^

I already know the answer?> If noone knows it then I will plainly say it with some preevaluation if I haven't already.


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## Zombie Devil Duckie (Apr 11, 2012)

It depends on the issue. Are there legal problems? Money? Relationship issues? I try to help them answer their own questions and be supportive. If it's something I have experienced I might tell a story about it. If they are upset by something I usually only use the information they have offered and try not to "pick" at any emotional wounds. Sometimes they don't want advice, they just want to vent. I like to think that I'm a good listener 

If alcohol or drugs are involved I'll usually just listen and wait for them to wear out. If they are receptive we can have a serious talk in the morning.

I hope this helps with whatever you are looking for.

- ZDD


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