# Aversion to Phone Conversations?



## Master Mind (Aug 15, 2011)

Ironweaver said:


> I greatly prefer face-to-face conversations.


If I'm going to talk to someone at all, I do it face-to-face. I don't do phone conversations.


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## SmilesforMiles (Jan 1, 2013)

I hate talking on the phone, and texting.


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## William I am (May 20, 2011)

deardeer said:


> I am all for people and conversations, but there is something about talking conversationally on the phone that I find off-putting. Aside from closest friends and family, I tend to only speak on the phone for practical "where are you" purposes. This is not the case for textual exchanges like e-mail or instant messaging. I could instant message anyone for hours.
> 
> I also am not too fond of Skype. I rarely, if ever, use it.
> 
> Is this typical NT behavior? Is it a generational thing (I am in my 20s)?


Order of preference:
Face-to-face
Phone
Skype/video
IM
text.

I kind of hate texting, but it's the thing to do, and I do it all the time now. I F'ing hate people who won't talk on the phone. I can understand disliking it, but if I wanted to text you, I would. Not cool having my call ignored every time and then getting a text instead. 
Nothing compares to in-person, not even skype with video. Talking on the phone is my second favorite way to talk, second only to in-person. 
People seem really inattentive on skype too, maybe because they're on their computers... I'm not sure why. Also, it drives me nuts when people disappear during text messages and say it's not a big deal because it's just texts. A text conversation is still a conversation, especially with someone who won't talk on the phone.

uh.... /rant.

I can tell more about what someone's doing, thinking, and saying over the phone than on a skype call, actually. I don't understand this "I can't tell what's happening" mentality.


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## Paradox of Vigor (Jul 7, 2010)

Usually causes discomfort if exchanges go beyond matter-of-fact and to the point conversation. Though that is also true face to face if it is small-talk.

Preferred modes of communication (non sequential)
1.) Face to face: abstract ideas
2.) Telephone: short and direct
3.) Text: short and direct / abstract ideas


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## The Proof (Aug 5, 2009)

let's face it, most of the stuff discussed on the phone is distracting BS


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## Reje (Nov 18, 2012)

Huh, I never thought this could be an NT thing, but I definitely hate phone conversations and usually don't answer phones if I can get away with it. I find it difficult to keep conversations going (even more so than usual) and silences get unbearably awkward very quickly. My family try to force me into taking phone calls, which just pisses me off and makes me stubborn about it. 

Recently, I have taken the occasional phone call due to necessity and I'm finding it a little easier, but I still have to leave the room so that nobody will listen to my half of the conversation and judge me for my phone awkwardness...


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## William I am (May 20, 2011)

I think this is definitely more dependent on E vs I than anything else.


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## iowagal22 (Dec 17, 2012)

William I am said:


> I think this is definitely more dependent on E vs I than anything else.


I don't think that it is E v. I in the general sense, but maybe when it comes to thinking. Phone calls are not necessarily Ti friendly. If I am processing something in a face-to-face conversation, people can tell that I am still engaged in thought and not ignoring them. If I pause to thinking on a phone call, it is just dead silence.


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## Eddy Kat (Sep 10, 2012)

I don't believe is a NT thing. Perhaps an Introvert thing?


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## DiamondDays (Sep 4, 2012)

I have no problem what so ever with phones. I vastly prefer phoning somebody to texting.


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## KINGJADEX (Jan 27, 2012)

I despise talking on the phone. Period.

Texting too, it just bugs me.


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## yumi (Nov 28, 2012)

I'm okay listening to close NF/SF friends for hours but don't expect me to say much, and half the time I ended up in psychologist-mode anyway. Maybe once every few mouths I get-into texting with close XXNXs but generally its about online Messaging and face-to-face.


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## Tea Path (Sep 5, 2012)

It may be a people thing, rather than a type thing. As humans, we're hard-wired into social interactions. Faces show so much more cues than you would get from just text or voice inflection alone. I've walked to other buildings so that I could be sure to get my point across. Also, many of my jokes are so dead-pan, you need to see my smirk or eyes to be in on the joke.


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## nevermore (Oct 1, 2010)

Eddy Kat said:


> I don't believe is a NT thing. Perhaps an Introvert thing?





Knight_In_Rags said:


> I don't like talking on the phone either and I'm not an NT so it shouldn't be an NT thing  And I'm 16 so it's definitely not generational.





Tea Path said:


> It may be a people thing, rather than a type thing. As humans, we're hard-wired into social interactions. Faces show so much more cues than you would get from just text or voice inflection alone. I've walked to other buildings so that I could be sure to get my point across. Also, many of my jokes are so dead-pan, you need to see my smirk or eyes to be in on the joke.


These. I've met a_ lot _of people who don't like the phone (particularly introverts and a LOT of INFP's), but many extroverts too. I really don't think it's an NT thing at all.

FWIW, I'm an INTP and don't mind the phone.


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## My Name is Jack (Jan 2, 2013)

I find that when talking on the phone I tend to get distracted by everything around me and lose focus completely. I do that enough in person, so I usually lose just about all information I should have received in the conversation. I prefer face-to-face talking.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

It depends on the situation.

If I am speaking about something interesting with someone who understands me, a friend or lover or partener, Im cool with it.

I actually ignore the random, every day calls.

If the caller is uninteresting, or just my mother calling for some bullshit, they sent sent to my voicemail.


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## Roland Khan (May 10, 2009)

I don't even much care for face-to-face conversations being the anxiety ridden nonsocial person that I am...but I absolutely hate phone conversations even more. To me, phone calls should just consist of a quick declaration of plans or whatever the main point of the call is, and then done. Don't know what it is exactly but I find them extremely annoying. Maybe because it keeps me from really doing anything else without losing track of the convo and then having to ask the person to repeat him/herself and letting them know I wasn't even listening to what they were saying in the first place...or the awkwardness of having to come up with some excuse as to why I can't talk any longer and have to hang up.


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## DeductiveReasoner (Feb 25, 2011)

Dislike them, except with individuals with whom I am very close.

Which is like, two people. I much prefer texting.


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## Roland Khan (May 10, 2009)

The only part of phone conversations that I am comfortable with, is when I am put on hold. I can put the phone on speaker and then set it down and go about watching tv or surfing the web....or masturbating to that erotic music.


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## badgers (Apr 2, 2012)

I don't like talking on the phone either because it's always awkward and I hate when I'm sitting there for 5 minutes with nothing to say and when I start hinting that I don't want to talk anymore, they suddenly have something to say. Very frustrating.

I have a friend that I talk on the phone with maybe once a week, and it's quite fun because we don't live in the same state anymore.

Other wise, text me. No wait, don't even do that.


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## fihe (Aug 30, 2012)

I hate stupid phones and try to avoid phone calls whenever possible. I prefer text messages and emails


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## Stickman (Sep 30, 2012)

fihe said:


> I hate stupid phones and try to avoid phone calls whenever possible. I prefer text messages and emails


You prefer text massages. Text massages are made by phones. You imply phones are stupid. Do you prefer stupid?

Excuse my wrong and shallow reasoning, but it's funny.


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## William I am (May 20, 2011)

Stickman said:


> You prefer text massages. Text massages are made by phones. You imply phones are stupid. Do you prefer stupid?
> 
> Excuse my wrong and shallow reasoning, but it's funny.


Sure you're not an Entp? lol 

I'd really like to know why/who doesn't like phone coversations. I wonder if it's a type/function thing or has nothing to do with it.


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## Sophianna (Dec 28, 2012)

THIS.

Yes. I actually get anxious when the phone rings. At the time I am writing this, I have 27 voice mails. I get anxious when I think about checking them. My box is full. I would like to keep it that way. I think I may leave a message that says to people, "I don't check voice mail or answer my phone. Text me please." Would that be rude? I think it's more rude that people never get called back...?


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## William I am (May 20, 2011)

TWENTY SEVEN? Ok, I can understand anxiety, but you should just disable your voicemail. I'd much rather be told not to bother leaving a message than to be invited to leave it (by a voicemail prompt) and never hear back.


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## iwrite (Oct 10, 2012)

I'm frequently laughed at for my phone attempts. If they pick up, this is what the conversation would look like.
Friend: Hello?
Me: Yeah...um...hi, so, this is, like, do you have, uh, like, the homework, for, uh...Latin?
Friend: ...Sure...

Answering machines I hate though, because they can't respond...
Machine: *beep*
Me: ...I was wondering about, uh, something...Oh, right...homework? For Latin? Do you have it? Right, it's me. ...Hahaha....


It's painful, especially with my sister laughing in the next room.


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## William I am (May 20, 2011)

I wonder if this is something a lot of people got over because they had no convenient alternative - e.g. texting and email.


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## fihe (Aug 30, 2012)

Stickman said:


> You prefer text massages. Text massages are made by phones. You imply phones are stupid. Do you prefer stupid?
> 
> Excuse my wrong and shallow reasoning, but it's funny.


I hate stupid phones as well as smart phones as long as I am receiving a call from either one! and I've never been massaged by text.


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## fihe (Aug 30, 2012)

Sophianna said:


> THIS.
> 
> Yes. I actually get anxious when the phone rings. At the time I am writing this, I have 27 voice mails. I get anxious when I think about checking them. My box is full. I would like to keep it that way. I think I may leave a message that says to people, "I don't check voice mail or answer my phone. Text me please." Would that be rude? I think it's more rude that people never get called back...?


I used to have a message saying "don't bother leaving a message because I won't check it", but because I've been job-hunting and that message may not be so favorable with potential employers, I'd instead say, "if possible, please send me a text message for the fastest response, otherwise leave a message on my voicemail".

and I also get anxious when the phone rings :\


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## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

I'm the exact same way as the OP. It doesn't seem very natural to have long converseations on the phone, you can communicate much more face to face.


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## SherlyDEDUCE (Jul 25, 2012)

Whenever I have to make a phone call, I am _relieved_ when it goes to voicemail.


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## DarthBismarck (Jan 30, 2013)

I'm generally not one for long phone conversations. The exception is my aunt. The only thing that really keeps us from talking frequently for extended periods is the three telephone area codes that are between us. Aside from her, if I'm on the phone with someone longer than five minutes, you know there's something going horribly wrong with one of the extroverts I know.


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## MikeEatsASalad (Feb 15, 2013)

I thought I was the only one that felt like this. I get anxious to whenever I have a phone conversation especially if it's with someone I hardly know.


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## EllieBear (Nov 8, 2012)

I hate, hate, hate them! I will do anything to get out of doing them. But when I do actually talk to people on the phone I totally change. I become really softly spoken and grateful and I always have a script to follow...


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## azdahak (Mar 2, 2013)

This all depends on context for me. I enjoy having meaningful conversations, so if the other person is interesting and a good conversationalist, I can go on for hours on the phone. A text/e-mail conversation is much less satisfying for obvious reasons. 

If I need to contact someone to simply convey information: meet at at 2pm, did you remember to buy milk, etc., then I prefer texting, because it's faster and doesn't have the "overhead" of the greeting ritual we all (or at least those of us who predate the common use of cellphone with caller-ID) do on the phone -- Hello? Hey, Joe. Oh, hi Sally. What's new? 

If I need to contact someone formally, such as a work situation, I prefer e-mail because I can take time to respond, and ensure I don't inadvertently give a wrong impression. I also find e-mail or texting to be useful when I have to convey information that's better communicated by a picture…such a giving someone a map with directions. 

I use video chat to keep in touch with my family because it's more personal and the voice quality is superior to a cell phone.


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## xEmilyx (Jan 3, 2011)

to me it seems like there's more of a lean towards texting and not phone conversations for our generation. 
though I have met extroverts that do like to use skype. 
I'm still training myself on how to have good conversations on skype lol 
I avoided it like the plague. 
along with phone calls. lol


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## XO Skeleton (Jan 18, 2011)

Ugh. Tbh I don't like talking on the phone. I would prefer talking in person or using text. Its rly bad if u have someone who talks a lot about nothing. Whwn using the phone I like to get down to business and end the convo as quickly as possible.


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## aphinion (Apr 30, 2013)

I typically don't mind phone conversations, but then again my average call length with my favorite friend (who calls me more than anyone else) is literally ten seconds or less. I think we've dropped down to four once. 

There's nothing specific I don't like about talking on the phone, but its not my favorite form of communication. I prefer text.


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## 2fast4u2 (Oct 3, 2011)

I absolutely loath talking on my cell phone. Even speaker phone is annoying..


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## PowerShell (Feb 3, 2013)

I don't know if it's from doing phone support where I had to drop everything and take help desk calls with a lot of idiots at the ring of the phone, but I loath every single time the phone rings. Nothing screams, "I demand your attention right now, drop everything!!!!" than the phone ringing.

When I do answer, I don't mind if it's a call and it gets something efficiently done. Sometimes it's just easier to talk on the phone. I know at work, typically we use instant messaging, which is very efficient, but if say it's easier to talk on the phone, we ask each other if we're available. Also for arranging stuff, email or text is way more efficient.

I prefer socializing face to face anyway. Most of my friends will send me a text and I respond pretty promptly. I have one friend (I think he's an IxFJ) who insists on talking on the phone. He gets pissed because most people stopped answering his calls. He's a good friend but I even dread when he calls because a call is like this:

Me: "Hello?"
Him: "Hey what's up?" (this is literally what he says every single time. My first thought is, "Idk you called me???").

Usually this is at some random time but during the week I have a pretty set routine and nothing too eventful goes on and he should really know this since we hang out all the time and live in the same boring town

Me: "Just sitting here as usual. You?"
*awkward pause*
Him: "Yeah just got done with work. Anything new?"
Me: "Not really."
*more awkward pauses since I really have nothing new to say since my weekly routine is boring as heck
Him: "Well just seeing what you were up to"
*awkward pause*
Him: "Well I guess I'll talk to you later then."
Me: "Bye."

I mean if people have something meaningful to say, I don't mind it but literally interrupting me to make a 1-2 minute call of awkward small talk gets annoying, especially when he does it like every other day. I have told him I prefer texting but he gets all butthurt when people don't answer the phone for him because it's just awkward calls.

There are times I don't mind talking for hours with people but it's usually about something substantial to the point where there's really no awkward pauses. If you literally just want to see if anything's going on or new, just text me. Then if by a text or two back and forth it's something substantial you can carry a decent conversation with and I'm also not in the middle of something, then call. It's better to save up some stuff to talk about anyway and then we can hang out in person. There's really not that awkward silence then.


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