# Cheating



## jack london (Aug 27, 2010)

*Why do people cheat in relationships?*

If you cheated on someone why did you it?

If someone cheated on you what did they say to explain it?


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## Hokahey (Oct 8, 2010)

My ex-fiancée cheated on me, she said she wasn't in love with me anymore and went with the guy she cheated on me with and got pregnant within 2 months and married in 4 months after leaving me.


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## Eerie (Feb 9, 2011)

I've never been in a relationship where I was not cheated on, and they never really had any reason for it. At least, that they told me. I guess I'm just a bad girlfriend... or something. Who knows.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

sleepinghyacinth said:


> I've never been in a relationship where I was not cheated on, and they never really had any reason for it. At least, that they told me. I guess I'm just a bad girlfriend... or something. Who knows.


You weren't to blame for their cheating, it's entirely their fault that they cheated.


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## Eerie (Feb 9, 2011)

I would really like to believe that skycloud, but I guess the way I see it as - who is the common denominator, me, or all the men who cheated? I wish I didn't blame myself, but after it keeps happening, it's hard to not over analyze the situation.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

sleepinghyacinth said:


> I would really like to believe that skycloud, but I guess the way I see it as - who is the common denominator, me, or all the men who cheated? I wish I didn't blame myself, but after it keeps happening, it's hard to not over analyze the situation.


The common denominator is not necessarily the cause. It may be that they felt that they could get away with cheating on you easier or something. Perhaps they saw you as weak or a pushover?


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

I think people cheat because they are still immature and don't have the balls or courtesy to break up with someone before they do it. They also want a security blanket. 

I have heard over and over that some will cheat because they are not validated in current relationship. Or the more passive type have fallen out of love and don't know how to end things. Whatever. Be an adult, end the relationship, and take the blows before you really hurt someone and break their trust. Cheating leads to a never ending cycle of hurt and bleeds onto future others that will engage with the "hurt" bitter person. 

It's mostly a matter of pride that prevents me from cheating. That and I don't get into a relationship with someone if I'm still attracted to others. I just prefer to stay out of a relationship unless I'm committed to someone. No one is _forcing_ me to be with anyone so why cheat? 

I have friends who have been cheated on and my father cheated on my mother. I can forgive all of them and understand why they did it just as long as they've truly experienced how badly it can rip up a person or a family. Or how it can cause a life time of anxiety and distrust in those who witnessed it.


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## Hokahey (Oct 8, 2010)

sleepinghyacinth said:


> I would really like to believe that skycloud, but I guess the way I see it as - who is the common denominator, me, or all the men who cheated? I wish I didn't blame myself, but after it keeps happening, it's hard to not over analyze the situation.


If students do bad on a test they didn't study for, is it the teacher's fault? Does it make it ok for that student to now cheat?


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## Eerie (Feb 9, 2011)

Good point mrnice.

And skycloud - maybe they did. I'm the type of person to give everything I have to the people I love. I wonder sometimes if that's a bad way to be.


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## Hokahey (Oct 8, 2010)

sleepinghyacinth said:


> I wonder sometimes if that's a bad way to be.


Never a bad thing. If a relationship is only 50/50 well then the average is only 50%. but if both people give 100/100 then the average is 100%.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

sleepinghyacinth said:


> I would really like to believe that skycloud, but I guess the way I see it as - who is the common denominator, me, or all the men who cheated? I wish I didn't blame myself, but after it keeps happening, it's hard to not over analyze the situation.


Sweetie, I used to do the same reasoning with physical violence because I had 2 relationships back to back. I foolishly thought I must have been the "common denominator" in the relationships or that I had to be the problem. But the only reason I was ever abused was because I was in the presence of an abuser.

In the same way, the only reason why you were cheated on was because you were with a cheater. You didn't deserve it and I'm sorry.


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## Eerie (Feb 9, 2011)

Thank you pinkrasputin


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## AussieChick (Dec 27, 2010)

sleepinghyacinth said:


> I've never been in a relationship where I was not cheated on, and they never really had any reason for it. At least, that they told me. I guess I'm just a bad girlfriend... or something. Who knows.



You're not a bad girlfriend,they cheated not you.I've been in similar situations to you.I had a guy last year tell me he loved me and wanted to marry me.I was cautious and asked lots of questions about the status of his previous relationship.I had known him for a long time and he had been engaged to be married.He told me that they had split up because he had realised that he wanted to be with me.Several months into our relationship i discoverved via a txt message that he was still very much with his fiancee.It was she who messaged me wanting to know what the f##k was going on.We talked and he'd lied to her too,as he'd said he wasn't seeing me.I called it quits via text message,and asked him to explain himself,he never did.Now he's calling me again offering an apology for what happened.I know he's still with his fiancee,so if he wants to get in my pants again,he will be bitterly disappointed,because although i loved him at the time,once a cheater always a cheater in my book.They're the assholes who want their cake and to eat it too.Technically i also cheated on my husband with this guy,because although we were separated,we were still legally married.I felt so guilty that i tearfully confessed.My husband forgave me and the sex between us was much better than it was even during our marriage.But i can't ever trust my husband again,he never once cheated on me during our time, together and neither did i.He did something that i consider to be much worse than cheating.He molested our children,and i can never forgive him for that.


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## Thrifty Walrus (Jul 8, 2010)

Cheating is one of the most stupid things anyone can do in my eyes; just break up!!! No need to lead people on or be dishonest...


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## Stillwater (Dec 14, 2009)

I have a friend who has been a relationship counselor for over a decade, he's told me numerous times that in the last five years there's been a major shift in his practice of women being the ones in relationships that are cheating on their partners. He won't go into exact details for confidentiality reasons, but has mentioned that facebook and various websites seem to be one common denominator that keeps being brought up during discussions.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

Stillwater said:


> I have a friend who has been a relationship counselor for over a decade, he's told me numerous times that in the last five years there's been a major shift in his practice of women being the ones in relationships that are cheating on their partners. He won't go into exact details for confidentiality reasons, but has mentioned that facebook and various websites seem to be one common denominator that keeps being brought up during discussions.


Both men and woman have always cheated throughout history, no one sex is better or worse than the other when it comes to staying faithful to their partner.


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## Stillwater (Dec 14, 2009)

skycloud86 said:


> Both men and woman have always cheated throughout history, no one sex is better or worse than the other when it comes to staying faithful to their partner.


I don't think it's a question of "better or worse" than, as it is a sign that it's possibly now much easier for women to commit infidelities than it once was, at a level that men have always been able to. A more permissive and accepting society that offers new ways and means. It wasn't that long ago that women were murdered, stoned, burned for any evidence of adultery, something that still occurs in other parts of the world.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

I just know 2 married men have hit on me on Facebook within the last 6 months. And these were not strangers. They were men I actually knew from way back. Of course, I have Facebook defriended them now. Sad, but that's what you get when you're a giant ASS. You don't want to get me started on this subject again. :dry:

As far as my personal numbers are concerned, to this date no married women have hit on me on Facebook. But I'll keep you posted as the numbers keep coming in. :wink:


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## viva (Aug 13, 2010)

I have never cheated and never will. It is against my moral code.

There were rumors going around, after I broke up with my ex, that he had cheated on me while I was away at school. I still don't know if it was true, and I don't care to know. I hope he got herpes. *shrug*


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## Mysteriousness (Feb 24, 2011)

i think ppl cheat because humans weren't meant to be monogomous, just sayin


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## nameno1had (Jan 16, 2011)

Stillwater said:


> I have a friend who has been a relationship counselor for over a decade, he's told me numerous times that in the last five years there's been a major shift in his practice of women being the ones in relationships that are cheating on their partners. He won't go into exact details for confidentiality reasons, but has mentioned that facebook and various websites seem to be one common denominator that keeps being brought up during discussions.


Not that I am condoning or justifying anyone who cheats, but I think the single biggest reason why is that we tend to make compromises we would rather not make to fill the voids for love and sex in our lives and then once we realize it was a mistake we feel trapped(especially married with children)then we tend to feel guilty and not want to hurt the other person or turn anyone's life upside down, including our own.With internet sites it gives people for the first time in history a lot more candidates to choose from and they realize it after the commitment they have made sometimes.I do think there is a special type of individual who really either wants all of the benefits of partnership but with the freedom to have sex with whom they choose, or multiple spouses(pretty much the same if you ask me).


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## thor odinson (May 21, 2011)

Eerie said:


> I've never been in a relationship where I was not cheated on, and they never really had any reason for it. At least, that they told me. I guess I'm just a bad girlfriend... or something. Who knows.


fuck those fucktards, it ain't your fault, there are plenty of shit people in the world period. There is no more an abstract answer then that. You just got unlucky that alot of them got lumped with you. Never let it turn inward.


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## Fleetfoot (May 9, 2011)

I wouldn't know why people would cheat. I guess it's more understandable if the couple was older and had kids and was afraid of breaking off the relationship because of them, and other circumstances, it makes no fucking sense.

If I were ever in a relationship, I'd have no reason to cheat, unless I liked someone else and I thought about it for a long time, then I would just call the relationship off if I knew that the relationship is rocky and it would become inevitable that I would cheat if I didn't end it. 

No one's ever cheated on me (I was never in a relationship before, so idk), but if someone did, it would depend on what they said as to whether I would end it or not, but I think 99% chance of ending it would happen.


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## Emerson (Mar 13, 2011)

The peoples involved mbti's don't really matter but I'm going to list them anyway.

An ex girlfriend (ENTJ) asked me if we'd had sex in the last 3 weeks, I told her that we hadn't (because we hadn't.) Then she sort of went quiet and told me she'd missed her period and thought she was pregnant... Turns out she was with my best friend at the time (INTP) 

Oddly enough me and the guy are both still close friends, I didn't care much for the relationship around that time, he apologised and seemed scincere about it.

Oddly enough that was 5 years ago, a lot of crazy shit for a 14 year old to deal with me thinks...


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## Eerie (Feb 9, 2011)

thor odinson said:


> fuck those fucktards, it ain't your fault, there are plenty of shit people in the world period. There is no more an abstract answer then that. You just got unlucky that alot of them got lumped with you. Never let it turn inward.


I'm with a really amazing person right now, who's helped me realize that, but ty


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## lifeisanillusion (Feb 21, 2011)

nameno1had said:


> Not that I am condoning or justifying anyone who cheats, but I think the single biggest reason why is that we tend to make compromises we would rather not make to fill the voids for love and sex in our lives and then once we realize it was a mistake we feel trapped(especially married with children)then we tend to feel guilty and not want to hurt the other person or turn anyone's life upside down, including our own.With internet sites it gives people for the first time in history a lot more candidates to choose from and they realize it after the commitment they have made sometimes.I do think there is a special type of individual who really either wants all of the benefits of partnership but with the freedom to have sex with whom they choose, or multiple spouses(pretty much the same if you ask me).


The radio station in my hometown reported that the day after mother's day, internet sites that are specific for cheating married people, have the most hits and the most new women signing up for the sites. That would support the above quote. 

I have been cheated on and man did it hurt. That was the one thing I didn't think she would do. If you are going out with someone who lies a lot or has has cheated in the past, I would be very leary. Don't fall for their stupid lies like I did, when they say things like the only reason they are lieing is to be closer to you, etc. The reason she gave for doing it was that she was really messed up at the time and didn't really know what she wanted. I believe she started talking with the person she cheated on me on facebook. I agree with what others are saying here, if you don't want to be with someone just tell them. Yes it will hurt them in the short term, but not as much as going out and cheating on them will. I have never cheated myself and don't think that I would. I think it is best to just end things if cheating seems really attractive too you.


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## thor odinson (May 21, 2011)

Emerson said:


> The peoples involved mbti's don't really matter but I'm going to list them anyway.
> 
> An ex girlfriend (ENTJ) asked me if we'd had sex in the last 3 weeks, I told her that we hadn't (because we hadn't.) Then she sort of went quiet and told me she'd missed her period and thought she was pregnant... Turns out she was with my best friend at the time (INTP)
> 
> ...


Me thinks you need to get yourself better friends, you don't deserve that shit buddy and yes there are a lot of crap people but a lotta good ones too. It's just the fucktards that stand out more. That's why people lose faith, because they think they're surrounded by them. I've got feelings for an ISFP chick but she was into one of my mates. He blew her off but out of loyalty to him I wouldn't do anything to quickly til I know for sure he's not going to eventuate anything and hell they're not even going out.


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## thor odinson (May 21, 2011)

Eerie said:


> I'm with a really amazing person right now, who's helped me realize that, but ty


 Good for you...

You deserve it


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## Kr3m1in (Jan 16, 2011)

I've cheated on someone after I tried to break up with them and told them repeatedly I didn't want to be with them anymore and explained my reasoning clearly.
They didn't grasp that concept, so cheating was another way of telling them.
I am not sure if this counts, although I didn't go about it the best way anyhow.

That's my story.


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## Disfigurine (Jan 1, 2011)

I've been cheated on but honestly it doesn't bother me anymore, they were shit relationships to begin with lols
Um, I don't know _why _exactly they cheated, except that they were shit relationships. Don't know what else to tell ya.


I don't cheat, if I feel like I've reached that stage in any kind of relationship, I just leave.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

lifeisanillusion said:


> I have been cheated on and man did it hurt. That was the one thing I didn't think she would do. If you are going out with someone who lies a lot or has has cheated in the past, I would be very leary. Don't fall for their stupid lies like I did, when they say things like the only reason they are lieing is to be closer to you, etc. *The reason she gave for doing it was that she was really messed up at the time and didn't really know what she wanted.* I believe she started talking with the person she cheated on me on facebook. I agree with what others are saying here, if you don't want to be with someone just tell them. Yes it will hurt them in the short term, but not as much as going out and cheating on them will. I have never cheated myself and don't think that I would. I think it is best to just end things if cheating seems really attractive too you.


This is a common one. I don't get that mentality. 

"I'M REALLY CONFUSED SO I SHOULD GO FUCK SOMEONE ELSE. THAT MAKES SENSE."

I've had a few friends lose their relationships that way.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

Fizz said:


> This is a common one. I don't get that mentality.
> 
> "I'M REALLY CONFUSED SO I SHOULD GO FUCK SOMEONE ELSE. THAT MAKES SENSE."
> 
> I've had a few friends lose their relationships that way.


What it represents is a lack of emotional maturity and either sense of responsibility to one's relationship, or enough guts to say you're done with the relationship, if not both. It's a cop out. 

I left my ESFJ wife due to this, and because she didn't extricate herself from her relationship despite my best efforts to work on us. I got so sick of her telling me "I'm just in a bad place" and "I've been working on me [by thinking]" and then "I'm so tired of thinking" (huh?), etc. It's actually probably been the best thing that could have happened to me as the shock has spurred some very healthy changes in my life (I'd hope others would not need something so painful, however), but I've told her that I'd have more respect for her if she'd just left me without comment instead of cheated.

It's such a spineless and selfish and destructive way to address- well, NOT address problems in a marriage/relationship. It's not actions worthy of emotionally developed adults in committed relationships.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

Kr3m1in said:


> I've cheated on someone after I tried to break up with them and told them repeatedly I didn't want to be with them anymore and explained my reasoning clearly.


This is neither criticism nor even commentary, I just want to understand - why were you only able to "[try] to break up with them" rather than actually do it successfully? 

Also, if you were breaking up with someone, why did you nevertheless call it "cheating"?


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## Kr3m1in (Jan 16, 2011)

redmanINTP said:


> This is neither criticism nor even commentary, I just want to understand - why were you only able to "[try] to break up with them" rather than actually do it successfully?
> 
> Also, if you were breaking up with someone, why did you nevertheless call it "cheating"?


Because I had made my point, clearly and concisely and they kept up the teary-eyed emotional babble for hours and then I just walked away. And slept with someone else, that same night.

So call it what you may.
There are other factors that made my actions worse but I won't get into it.


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

Stillwater said:


> I don't think it's a question of "better or worse" than, as it is a sign that it's possibly now much easier for women to commit infidelities than it once was, at a level that men have always been able to. A more permissive and accepting society that offers new ways and means. It wasn't that long ago that women were murdered, stoned, burned for any evidence of adultery, something that still occurs in other parts of the world.


Yeah, we even have that one common narrative in the Bible collection, where the adulteress was going to be stoned and Jesus said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." (Most people in western culture are familiar with that line, even if they don't know the story.) The irony was that a woman can't commit adultery by herself; but whoever the adulterer was, he was being let go scott-free, while she was being stoned to death for her crime. 

I've seen clips online of women from similar cultures nowadays who are being punished for their "adulterous behaviors" while no males are being likewise punished as part of the violation. I think just having no-fault divorce in the US starting forty years ago or so was a huge shift.



Hokahey said:


> If students do bad on a test they didn't study for, is it the teacher's fault? Does it make it ok for that student to now cheat?


While I'm personally a rationalist who thinks it's better just to terminate the relationship directly than cheat on someone, I'm sure some people would try to justify cheating on a test as a valid response if they thought the teacher was unfair or skewed in some way or not taking the student's needs into account (and thus probably consider cheating in a relationship as valid for similar reasons).


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

Jennywocky said:


> Yeah, we even have that one common narrative in the Bible collection, where the adulteress was going to be stoned and Jesus said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." (Most people in western culture are familiar with that line, even if they don't know the story.) The irony was that a woman can't commit adultery by herself; but whoever the adulterer was, he was being let go scott-free, while she was being stoned to death for her crime.
> 
> I've seen clips online of women from similar cultures nowadays who are being punished for their "adulterous behaviors" while no males are being likewise punished as part of the violation. *I think just having no-fault divorce in the US starting forty years ago or so was a huge shift*.


As was the sexual revolution in the West 40-50 years ago...


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## Hokahey (Oct 8, 2010)

Jennywocky said:


> While I'm personally a rationalist who thinks it's better just to terminate the relationship directly than cheat on someone, I'm sure some people would try to justify cheating on a test as a valid response if they thought the teacher was unfair or skewed in some way or not taking the student's needs into account (and thus probably consider cheating in a relationship as valid for similar reasons).


Communication can fix that though. I don't find there ever to be a valid reason for cheating.


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## killerB (Jan 14, 2010)

I have never cheated, but have been cheated on in several relationships. I never exactly figured out why except maybe they were immature, or unhappy. if yo uare unhappy, at least speak up as most times people don't know you are, and they should have a chance to fix whatever the problem is. People make all types of excuses, but to be honest it is probably just the excitement. To me, that is to much excitement so not really worth it.


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

Hokahey said:


> Communication can fix that though. I don't find there ever to be a valid reason for cheating.


I don't think there is a valid reason for cheating either, from my personal viewpoint. Basically, people have to be prepared to walk if they're not willing to accept a relationship the way it is and they don't think they can change anything.


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## thor odinson (May 21, 2011)

Kr3m1in said:


> I've cheated on someone after I tried to break up with them and told them repeatedly I didn't want to be with them anymore and explained my reasoning clearly.
> They didn't grasp that concept, so cheating was another way of telling them.
> I am not sure if this counts, although I didn't go about it the best way anyhow.
> 
> That's my story.


I think your case is slightly different, you kinda stated your intentions first and well they didn't pick up, I think most people here are saying for ones who did it out of nowhere or were selfish and something caught there eye or had a problem but rather than talking about it just they just went the wrong way about it. Ofcourse I could be completely wrong but I don't think people are gonna judge you is what I'm trying to say...


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## etherealuntouaswithin (Dec 7, 2010)

Im a known Fliter. I need to flit about to avoid stagnation and boredom.I do try not to cheat (and generally i dont),but im not really someone made out for stable relationships.

I may be attracted to you for a time,then meet someone and feel a visceral urge to engage or move on.

It's the reason i try to keep away from steady romances..keep a sharp distance from commitment.I'm extremely fickle,but i dont want to needlessly hurt anyone with my antics.

So i largely keep things casual.


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

Rosslyn said:


> My ex blamed me. He said I drove him to cheat, accused me of being clingy. I think I became clingy when I felt him emotionally withdraw so he could cheat. I never cheated on him, despite our relationship being a joke. I loved him too much, even though I secretly wished to make him hurt as badly as he had hurt me.


It hurts to be cheated on. It hurts even more to be blamed for it, especially if the excuse is "clingy." That is total narcissistic behavior.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

Paeter said:


> I'd cheat because it'd be awesome fun.


It wouldn't be for your partner. 



> Men do it because_ it's awesome_.


Not all men cheat, and what is the reason why some women cheat?



> One girl cannot satisfy a man.


There's many men who have been in monogamous relationships with women for years, if not decades, and have never cheated.



> It's not her fault though, she's only one woman, the idea of *one *girl being_ physically and mentally capable _of _totally _satisfying a man is laughable.


And is the reverse not a laughable idea?



> Any man who is highly desirable to women is going to have an incredibly difficult time *not *cheating... because he's a man. :laughing:


Are you not being serious at this point?



> I mean he might be smitten by a girl and not want to do anything to lose her for a while but few women could keep a man that way for very long.


I don't see why not.


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## Paeter (May 18, 2011)

I updated my post which already answers some of your questions but I'll answer them here too.



> It wouldn't be for your partner.


*But it would be for me.*



> Not all men cheat, and what is the reason why some women cheat?


Because the man is a lame ass and not doing his job probably and also because some women probably just like taking dick from every angle from attractive charming men. Good for them. The more sluts there are, the easier sex is for guys. I don't know so much about the woman side of it though. I'm a man.



> There's many men who have been in monogamous relationships with women for years, if not decades, and have never cheated.


They were either brutally tamed and brainwashed by their mothers and society at a young age and feel that cheating is a horrible evil they can never forgive themselves for or they literally *have no other options.* If there are no other girls to cheat with, it's not the same as actively turning down girls in order to stay faithful. The other option is they actually do cheat but get away with it. I guess sometimes men really do believe in monogamy and not cheating, that's how men are raised in today's society and some men genuinely hold this standard and have the *iron will* _and _awesome girlfriend that contributes to his successfully not cheating. If everything is just right, he might not cheat. You also have the girly men and the men who really only care about the sappy stuff like love and connection and don't have the raging sexual desire. Those are unlikely to cheat.



> And is the reverse not a laughable idea?


In general, no.



> Are you not being serious at this point?


I'm serious.



> don't see why not.


Then you don't understand what it's like to be a man with the raging sexual desire and competitive conquest drive that comes hardwired into it. You probably never will.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

> *But it would be for me.*


So you would have no concern for how it would affect your partner?



> Because the man is a lame ass and not doing his job probably


Then she should discuss this with her partner. Same goes if the man was cheating for the same reason.



> and also because some women probably just like taking dick from every angle from attractive charming men.


If they want to be sexually promiscuous, then it would probably be better for everyone if they stayed single or only participated in short-term relationships where both parties knew what the relationship was.



> Good for them. The more sluts there are, the easier sex is for guys.


Women should be sexually liberated for themselves, not so it's easier for men to have sex.



> I don't know so much about the woman side of it though. I'm a man.


Just because you're a man doesn't mean that you can't know what makes women do things.



> They were either brutally tamed and brainwashed by their mothers and society at a young age and feel that cheating is a horrible evil they can never forgive themselves for or they literally *have no other options.*


Oh, i see. You're pretending to be the cold INTJ that doesn't have any opinion that might look too out of place with his INTJ persona. Either that or A - you're joking, or B - you have no understanding of what adult relationships are about.



> If there are no other girls to cheat with, it's not the same as actively turning down girls in order to stay faithful. The other option is they actually do cheat but get away with it.


So, men who cheat are basically those who can't stand not getting attention from women, as if they were starved of attention from their mother as a child and have a burning need to make up for it?



> I guess sometimes men really do believe in monogamy and not cheating, that's how men are raised in today's society and some men genuinely hold this standard and have the *iron will*


That's ridiculous, and you know it is. Men can quite easily be monogamous.



> _and _awesome girlfriend that contributes to his successfully not cheating.


It's not the woman's fault if the man cheats, just like it's not the man's fault if the woman cheats.



> If everything is just right, he might not cheat.


I would say the majority of men wouldn't cheat under any circumstances. I have no sources to back this up other than it's what happens in reality - those men who don't want long-term relationships stay away from long-term relationships.



> You also have the girly men and the men who really only care about the sappy stuff like love and connection and don't have the raging sexual desire. Those are unlikely to cheat.


Stop trying to be a stereotypical INTJ, it's obvious that you're trying far too hard to fit the image you have of INTJs.



> In general, no.


So, you're a hypocrite then.



> I'm serious.


Sadly enough.



> Then you don't understand what it's like to be a man with the raging sexual desire and competitive conquest drive that comes hardwired into it. You probably never will.


Most men aren't cavemen anymore. I'm sorry if you have the sexual desire and competitive conquest far greater than most men, but you're assuming that men are still stuck in the Stone Age.


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## Eerie (Feb 9, 2011)

> Stop trying to be a stereotypical INTJ, it's obvious that you're trying far too hard to fit the image you have of INTJs.


Amen Skycloud. Fucking seriously.


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## thor odinson (May 21, 2011)

skycloud86 said:


> It wouldn't be for your partner.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


This is clearly the attitude of one individual. I've had a time where there was 3 or four girls who liked me and I could have gone with any one of them but I stayed true to the one I was with. She turned out to be a bitch and I wished I had screwed her over at the time, but that's all in the past. Guys will look, there penises don't stop working around other girls the moment there with one girl but anyway, if she's a top chick as far as other girls go I might look, but I certainly won't touch. I appreciate what I have and realised if you fuck it up it may not come round twice. And besides if you want to cheat dump em and move on, don't be a bigger prick then you need to be.


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## BroNerd (Nov 27, 2010)

Cheaters are cowards. You don't want to be in a relationship with that kind of coward anyway..no matter how long you have been with him/her. I have a very hard time forgiving cheaters. If I am dating you and I found out that you cheated on your last boyfriend, I will be wary and horribly condescending (since I would see you as a weak and selfish person) and probably break up with you (unless I see enough evidence that you probably won't cheat on me..since I'm somehow "different" than the last guy)..I know of cheaters who have cheated on more than one boyfriend! :0
I swear some people can't help themselves!


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

*Why do people cheat in relationships?*

Typically they're seeking something that they believe they lack, e.g. intimacy, excitement, sexual gratification, etc., and they are not mature enough or have the personal integrity to either directly address what they lack with their significant other or simply leave their relationship.

*If you cheated on someone why did you it?*

I never have. 

*If someone cheated on you what did they say to explain it?*

My wife cheated on me. We never communicated well and had some financial problems and extended family stresses at the time, a lot of which in all candor I contributed to (no, I don't take responsibility for the affair, just the stresses that were its backdrop). She said she felt lost and completely empty, and was "in a bad place". That was about the best she could do to explain it to me - she's not very in touch with her feelings, but she thinks she is which makes it quite a problem. She also continued to cheat after I discovered it and of course lied about it even when I was making every effort to try to fix things. She said that she "needed to explore the relationship" with the other guy to its conclusion, I guess in order to process her feelings or something - I was pretty astounded that she'd say that to me with a straight face. Don't worry, I left before that could happen...


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