# ESTP vs ISTP... Which?



## alwayscurious (Sep 11, 2017)

So I am looking for help with something... I am curious and want to know what MBTI my boyfriend is. He's definitely xSTP... but which? 

On the surface you'd think he is an ESTP: 

In social groups he is very popular.
Doesn't seem to ACTIVELY seek out alone time. 
He has a very wide social network. We regularly run into people he knows. 
Was a party animal in college.
Not intimidated by social situations at all (he has admitted that he doesn't understand what it's like to be shy).
He's also always texting. 

On the other hand...

While he doesn't actively seek out alone time (unlike me who'll get grumpy without it) he sure has a LOT of it and doesn't seem to mind it. Most weeks I'll actively spend more time with friends than him. He doesn't seem to mind it at all. He can take or leave social activity.
He doesn't share his thoughts at all. He's actually pretty quiet. He's a REALLY good listener. A lot of people will say they had a good chat with him... but if you look back, he said very little, and let them talk instead.
Not opinionated at all, and avoids debates like the plague. 
The older he's gotten, the more he'll exchange parties for quiet weekends in. 
In almost every aspect, he fits the ISTP profile. He wears a constant poker face. Doesn't get very excitable. Likes working with equipment/machinery (it's his job). He's tolerant and even indulgent of my future-planning that involves him. And he even believes and somewhat lives his life by the idea of fate - something I'd think would fit Ni being his tertiary function instead of his inferior. 

But he's just so popular and relaxed in social situations and able to juggle them so well that I can't get over it.


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## Grey Wolf (Sep 9, 2017)

I would to lean toward ISTP with the information given. ISTPs aren't generally shy. I've never felt social anxiety or anything, it's just that I like my alone time and don't always want to be "on" for people. Some ISTPs can be popular, especially the athletes. It's quite possible he was just exploring his Se more during college.


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## Hunter1611 (Apr 27, 2010)

> But he's just so popular and relaxed in social situations and able to juggle them so well that I can't get over it.


Being confident in social situations doesn't necessarily point to introversion vs extroversion. An introvert can look like an extrovert and vice versa. It's a matter of whether or not he's leading with Se or Ti.


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## Pocket Soy Sauce (Oct 2, 2017)

I only know one ESTP, whose presence I enjoy very much. 

From what I have observed there are two primary differences between us:

1) Social interactions: All his friends (that I know of) interact with this ESTP for his humor. None of them would claim to have a "deep" connection with the ESTP. All of their interactions are grounded on "good times." There is never a laugh-less moment in his social interactions. I think this can be attributed to Se-preference. If the atmosphere turns into a melancholic one, he would likely retreat to observer mode. I'm not really sure what happens in his mind during these times. All I know is that he contributes less, preferring to let someone else take the spotlight. It isn't to say that this ESTP is laughing all the time. When he's not socializing, he can be very subdued. 

I as an ISTP on the other hand, am not really approached for my humor. Most of my good friends share my sense of humor but I'm not as "popular" as my ESTP friend; people know me for my academic competence. (I'd rather say intellect but I'm not really sure if my peers share this view :laughing: ) Our shared group of friends know to go to the ESTP for a guaranteed dose of laughter and to go to me for either a fun time or a cold analytical perspective (depending on my mood).

Perhaps my choice of heading was misleading as it's quite hard to generalize social interactions so take from this what you will. 

2) Fe-ness(?): I think we're on the same level when it comes to sappy, emotional stuff: quite oblivious. However, I think he's more in-tune when it comes to social cues. He's also more comfortable being on the spotlight. He can "perform" when called upon whereas I would try to escape a similar social situation. I can only "perform" when I'm in a smaller group while this ESTP could probably hijack a dance floor roud:

Obligatory disclaimer: All of this is based on my limited observations of this ESTP. Most of these characteristics are probably dependent on age (having more experience developing inferior functions and such). I bet ESTPs and ISTPs are practically the same person at a certain age. Your best bet is to put him to the Introvert/Extrovert test: how long can he last in a high-energy social environment without getting exhausted?


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## VioletEvergarden (May 10, 2011)

ISTPs are always victorious.

ESTPs are too jumpy.

Tortoise vs the Hare.


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## Zeus (Oct 8, 2011)

Grey Wolf said:


> I would to lean toward ISTP with the information given. ISTPs aren't generally shy. I've never felt social anxiety or anything, it's just that I like my alone time and don't always want to be "on" for people. Some ISTPs can be popular, especially the athletes. It's quite possible he was just exploring his Se more during college.


Wrong answer, ESTPs are not inclined to give opinions of others to others because our social sophistication tells us not to. Easy answer does he entertain others I.e sharing funny stories and like crude humor?


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## Grey Wolf (Sep 9, 2017)

ClOwNkInG said:


> Wrong answer, ESTPs are not inclined to give opinions of others to others because our social sophistication tells us not to. Easy answer does he entertain others I.e sharing funny stories and like crude humor?


I never actually disagreed. While social sophistication is something developed, not innate, I'll agree that tertiary Fe is going to make ESTPs more naturally charming than ISTPs. That's why they are often seen as the archetypal salesman, if they develop it.


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## Zeus (Oct 8, 2011)

Grey Wolf said:


> I never actually disagreed. While social sophistication is something developed, not innate, I'll agree that tertiary Fe is going to make ESTPs more naturally charming than ISTPs. That's why they are often seen as the archetypal salesman, if they develop it.


Haha, my bad. Was gonna say trap door for you haha. Yeah I work as a manager of a marketing firm, kind of like sales but not exact.


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## Agent Washintub (Oct 6, 2012)

alwayscurious said:


> So I am looking for help with something... I am curious and want to know what MBTI my boyfriend is. He's definitely xSTP... but which?
> 
> On the surface you'd think he is an ESTP:
> 
> ...


MBTI doesn't necessarily relate to how social one is, it's kind of a misnomer in that regard. I'm very clearly an ISTP but I have zero issue jumping into an ever changing social situation and thriving. I also crave social interaction a lot because of it. MBTI is more about how one intakes and process information. Those who think the same, tend to act similar.

But, to answer your question, when typing someone, it's easiest to look at what their inferior (last) function first.

In the case of your BF, does it have trouble with emotions, or making intuitive jumps? Does taking your wants in needs into consideration seem easy or is it something he needs to work on?


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## Davidkal (Jul 19, 2017)

Sounds like a friend that I had in highschool.Probably somewhere in the middle of the spectrum.


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## soop (Aug 6, 2016)

This information is not incredibly helpful. I can't tell if Ti or Se is dominant at all.


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