# What are essential life skills? Do they lead to happiness?



## MeganeOtoko (Aug 14, 2012)

Do you think you have them? You do? So are you living the life you always wanted? Well... let's discuss.

CV/Resumé writing, "Networking", Team Work, "Management", Leadership/Influence, "Critical Decision Making", Critical/Analytical Thinking, "Creativity", Conscientiousness, Organisation/Time Management, Politeness, Numeracy and Literacy skills...

So I've listed above a few highly standard, highly traditional "life skills" that everyone supposedly has if they are successful. I may have missed a few, but these skills are what they say you need in school, in college and then in work. 

But are these skills taught well? I don't think so. Does having all these "essential life skills" lead to a happy and prosperous life? ...Not in most cases actually.

So what is the problem and from where does it originate?
Now, this post is getting a bit too philosophical for the confines of this topic, so I'll just throw a couple of ideas at you to think about.

What about big-picture thinking (not just the how, but the why)?

What about learning skills (without the aid of a structured curriculum and a teacher)?

What about spirituality/philosophical thinking (being able to ponder the nature of existence)?

What about empathy (experiencing another's situation in their shoes, not from your castle)?

What about sexuality (being comfortable and confident with one's preferences, no matter how "strange")?

What about morality and faith (having a solid internal belief system that is your own)?

What about emotional mastery (intercepting your emotions and understanding the why and the how)?

What about positivity (or an empowering outlook and seeing things in a different light)?

What about value (identifying traits that are truly beautiful or great and not solely popular or "in-fashion")?

What about individual thinking (having an opinion based on your own observations and desires and knowing how to deal with naysayers)?


I'm sure there are many more, so tell me what you think is an essential life skill that I might have missed.

Let me hear your thoughtful relies!


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## coquelicot (Jun 8, 2012)

Adaptability


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## nakkinaama (Jun 20, 2012)

Pick the right friends, know languages, dont let others bring you down... Empathizing, humor in tough situations, intelligence...


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## Plaxico (Dec 11, 2010)

Resilience is my number one. Of course you still need specific skills in order to succeed, but without resilience one cannot really succeed as there will always be obstacles.


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## mental blockstack (Dec 15, 2011)

Who's the girl in your avatar, and will knowing and thinking about her lead to happiness?


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## Kelvin (May 30, 2012)

Okay, these are some other things I can think of. Along with some of the traits you've listed, they're very important to lead a successful and happy life in my opinion. 

In no particular order: 

Balance / Moderation (in all areas)
Charisma and passion
Responsible and independent
Openness, understanding and respect
Diligence and assertiveness
Resilience
Self-love and self-knowledge (not to be confused with selfishness)
Clarity and knowledge of one's surrounding (being updated on news about both the world and others around them)
Humble confidence
Humor and able to take things lightly (especially themselves and jokes of course)
Pragmatic and realistic but not shallow
Free thinking (interpreting information individually before accepting / rejecting ideas) 
Introspective
Curiosity (kills the cat, but it's good to be an eternal child and learn)
Ability to delay gratification (and choosing options that leads to long-term happiness instead of short term)
Memory (remembering life lessons one has learnt, and avoid repeating them if possible)


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## MeganeOtoko (Aug 14, 2012)

Kelvin said:


> Okay, these are some other things I can think of. Along with some of the traits you've listed, they're very important to lead a successful and happy life in my opinion.
> 
> In no particular order:
> 
> ...


That's quite a list! I like how you put balance/moderation at the top, because that's a very important perception to have and many people struggle with.

I personally put big-picture thinking at the top, because I feel it's one of the most important skills that many people don't have or don't think is all that important. It involves a huge deal of self-knowledge/love as you mentioned, some courage in the form of individual thinking, and a whole lot of other things too.
All of the traits that we have listed here are important in the right context, and what I was trying to get at in the OP was that people can identify many of these context-sensitive skills, and there are A LOT of them. Because well, life is fricking massive!
So where do we draw the line? I think it involves being able to understand where we're going and why we want to go there. Not easy, as there are plenty of people, organisations and other communities that aren't shy about telling you what you should aim for in life, and I find that many people find themselves in desperate situations because they blindly listened to others about what they ought to do in life and never really contemplated and questioned these goals, even if they are the most popular thing since sliced bread (or however that saying goes).

I agree with everything listed so far though  they definitely don't teach you any of this stuff in school.



GYX_Kid said:


> Who's the girl in your avatar, and will knowing and thinking about her lead to happiness?



She's Seohyun from K-pop group Girls' Generation. And yes, I think it would. Very much


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## frenchie (Jul 7, 2011)

You can easily boil it down to two real skills.

Being able to solve a problem 
"I have to get to work by 9 am. That means i'll have to get up by 7 so I have an hour to eat and an hour to commute." 

And aggression/charisma:
"How many people do I want to step on and use to achieve my own personal goals?" This can be scaled way up or way down. 

Everything else is built form these two.


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