# The silent orgasm



## mimisea (Mar 23, 2011)

I've been with this guy for about 2 months now that is absolutely silent when he has an orgasm. No sigh, no moan, no indication at all. It freaks me out a bit. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced a silent type or is silent. How can I get him to make a bit of noise?


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## DustyDrill (May 20, 2011)

He's obviously a ninja...

Right when you sense he's about to orgasm, slap his ass as hard as you can. Worst case scenario, you'll get quite the show. You'll be able to tell people you have seen a man ejaculating while dancing around holding his own buttocks.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

I am often silent about it, though not every time. It varies. Even when I make sounds, they are very subtle and quiet. 

If he is anything like me, trying to get him to make noise would be a terrible distraction that might make it harder for him to be fully absorbed in the experience. Having to consciously focus on making noise to please you would just end up making it less intense for him.


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## Ephemerald (Aug 27, 2011)

He may see it as unnecessary and uncharacteristic. Perhaps it's more of an intimate orgasm?

Of my experiences in bed, the loudest things have been music (if played) and breathing.

Just out of curiosity, how expressive are you?


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## mimisea (Mar 23, 2011)

thanks @snail I didn't think about it that way


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## LotusBlossom (Apr 2, 2011)

my orgasms are often silent too.


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## mimisea (Mar 23, 2011)

Ephemerald said:


> He may see it as unnecessary and uncharacteristic. Perhaps it's more of an intimate orgasm?
> 
> Of my experiences in bed, the loudest things have been music (if played) and breathing.
> 
> Just out of curiosity, how expressive are you?


I'm quite expressive, there is never a doubt when I'm having an orgasm. I think that is why its so difficult for me. I have to really be paying attention to know when he does, he usually will give me a squeeze.


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## Ephemerald (Aug 27, 2011)

Yeah, I can see why that would be awkward. It would almost come across like he's spaced out, going with the flow. I'm not sure what can be said beyond the fact that he's probably highly in-tune with the intimacy and he doesn't mean to make it weird. It's just how he expresses himself. Unless my partner and I were drugged or drunk doing some crazy (spontaneous) stuff, I can't ever imagine myself groaning in satisfaction during ejaculation. It would be totally fake and uncharacteristic of my personality.


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## DustyDrill (May 20, 2011)

So it's not normal to shout "I am Thor! God of thunder!" when you orgasm? Shit, I've been doing it wrong.


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## angularvelocity (Jun 15, 2009)

I say I'm on the quiet side as well. I've been working on not having sexual things inside my head.. so while I'm moaning in my head it's generally not coming out of my mouth. If what was going on inside my head came out my mouth... my goodness... I'm pretty sure I'd have a deaf significant other.

I don't think I'm SILENT though... I do believe I make slight moans and noisier exhales, lol. I tend to grab a lot when I'm orgasming.. like grabbing anything with my hands, legs or feet. I dunno.


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## Hardstyler (Sep 4, 2010)

mimisea said:


> I've been with this guy for about 2 months now that is absolutely silent when he has an orgasm. No sigh, no moan, no indication at all. It freaks me out a bit. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced a silent type or is silent. How can I get him to make a bit of noise?


Not Even a Facial Expression??? That USUALLY gives it away...


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## Hokahey (Oct 8, 2010)

Apparently I make funny face gestures but my actual "sigh" is quite timid, though it doesn't describe what I'm feeling like inside.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

I am moderately noisy when I have an orgasm, and I like it when my partner's orgasm isn't silent/too quiet. The 'sounds' are a huge turn on. Like others have said, facial expressions and body language (grabbing etc.) can be give aways, and it may help to focus on these more. Also, tell him you'd like it if he opened up a bit more and wasn't totally silent when climaxing. Make it a fun suggestion, and see if he enjoys expressing orgasmic pleasure in more ways than one.


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## sand_at_your_feet (Aug 24, 2011)

I enjoy my boyfriend's silence. Occasionally I'll get him to whimper or utter.. then I know it was reeeeally good for him. 
But two months is a short time. You still have plenty of time to get to know each other sexually. My boyfriend and I of 2 years are still finding new ways to tease and please each other..


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

snail said:


> If he is anything like me, trying to get him to make noise would be a terrible distraction that might make it harder for him to be fully absorbed in the experience. Having to consciously focus on making noise to please you would just end up making it less intense for him.


I haven't been with loud guys. Typically they seem so focused on orgasm, everything gets internalized. There's not even any talking, usually. (Me, though, I make noise.  ) I just think it can be hard to concentrate on your way to an orgasm if you are also expending focus to make noise.

How introverted is the guy in the OP?


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## Hokahey (Oct 8, 2010)

Was thinking about this again this morning. I don't make noises at all really. I pretty much control all my emotions and don't express them "out loud". Like when my favorite sports team wins a game or scores a touchdown, I'm excited inside, however I don't express it because I feel no need to in that situation like I don't feel a "gain" to do so "I'm happy that's all that matters" (I know boring huh?). Kind of like being able to control an adrenaline rush. 

I do make noises during sex and other things but just not loud ones. /shrug


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## DustyDrill (May 20, 2011)

Jennywocky said:


> I haven't been with loud guys. Typically they seem so focused on orgasm, everything gets internalized. There's not even any talking, usually. (Me, though, I make noise.  ) I just think it can be hard to concentrate on your way to an orgasm if you are also expending focus to make noise.
> 
> How introverted is the guy in the OP?


Introversion has nothing to do with it. I'm talkative in bed. Granted, it's mainly dirty talk... but still.

Though "talkative" for someone who rarely speaks is different than "talkative" for someone who never shuts their pie hole.


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

DustyDrill said:


> Introversion has nothing to do with it. I'm talkative in bed. Granted, it's mainly dirty talk... but still.


Well, as I said, I'm remarkably introverted, but with sex with someone I trust, I like noise. I also tend to rely more on my Pe when I interact with people, rather than the Ji, because it's easier to connect that way. I noted elsewhere too that, if offered the choice between just video or just audio in a sex movie, I'd much rather have the audio... the video doesn't do much for it, the audio has an immediate impact.

I was just wondering if more extroverted guys would also be more likely to want/indulge in talk play during sex, vs someone focused on the internal feelings and experience.



> Though "talkative" for someone who rarely speaks is different than "talkative" for someone who never shuts their pie hole.


True.


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## mimisea (Mar 23, 2011)

@Hardstyler - he doesn't even change his expression. I truly never know when he is climaxing. He also keeps going after he climaxes so its a mystery and I force him to tell me the moment afterward. 

@Jennywocky - He is introverted, so am I, but when I trust someone & I'm letting them inside my body I open up verbally as well.


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

mimisea said:


> He is introverted, so am I, but when I trust someone & I'm letting them inside my body I open up verbally as well.


Right, that is what it is like -- really intimate, and I'm really keyed into him and every vibe he is putting off, and trying to maximize whatever is going on. It's a very vulnerable position, but I can do that if I trust someone.

I can handle him (general "him") being quiet, because I can tell something is going on inside and he's really concentrating, so it's weird moment where I'd like to be engaged more directly but at the same time it's very intimate because I am seeing him in a moment where he is not thinking about how he looks or how he's coming across, it's just total pure raw person, like catching someone in a photo who is entirely not self-conscious.


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## PeopleDoNotThink (Sep 1, 2011)

My girlfriend does this crap where she's enjoying herself (and will tell me so afterward) but she doesn't make a damn noise the whole time, and she closes her eyes. So it's like she's fuggin' meditating. This is a pretty substantial turn-off, but I get yelled at for bringing it up... She just says she likes to focus on how it feels, and I can appreciate that, but at what point does it stop being sex (which involves two people enjoying each other) and become masturbation (just using the other person like a sex toy to get off)?


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

Well you said he IS having an orgasm, and let's you know by squeezing your hand. I honestly don't see what the problem is in that case. Some people make some noise, others a lot of noise. Some are expressive, others not so much. I believe everyone should be content in a relationship, and sacrifices have to be made by both individuals, but what I'm wondering is why this is such a problem for you personally? Do you get off on expressions of enjoyment, and you feel you aren't pleasing him because of his lack of vocalization? If that's the case, you should probably try to get him to in a subtle manner, just like others have suggested.


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## mimisea (Mar 23, 2011)

HAHA!! An extraordinary blow job drew some noise out of him without me really bringing it up. So from there I was able to say "you are capable of sound, so maybe a little indicator for me would be nice so I can share in your pleasure." He's indicating a bit more. YAY! Thanks for all your comments.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

I am normally silent when I cum. It is because historically, I have had to fap in silence in order to avoid being caught.


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