# Personality Type and Ds Relationships - Personality type and Prefrence, please?



## Arioche (Aug 5, 2009)

Vanitas said:


> In D/s scene setting, I realize this seems to be the case (and thus why I don't like the whole 'roles' thing, feels too fake). I answer mostly in the sense of .. relationship dynamics.
> 
> Someone bound to wear the pants anyway.


Took the words right out of my mouth. Yes, in BDSM settings, subs are the one truly in control because they are the one who sets the limit to what can be done and what cannot be (the reason why so many can switch around.) 

Completely different from the d/s in terms of the relationship dynamics, which I believe the OP is talking about.


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## curious0610 (Jun 27, 2010)

INFJ - Sub.

whether or not people want to admit it, theres always a power balance thats THERE. it's just a matter of how people choose to address it. & I don't think being in the submissive position of that balance makes someone less of an equal in any way, because ultimately both people are settling on some balance they both agree on.


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## zyzzyva (Nov 19, 2010)

I'm naturally inclined towards being submissive but wary of actually embracing this just in case the dominant individual happens to be dominant in the wrong way. If that makes any sense? Also if i'm with a submissive partner I take on the dominant role, but it stresses me out, that isn't who I am. As pathetic as that sounds.


Oh and INFP. 'cause I know how people dislike having to make more clicks than absolutely necessary.


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## Zeptometer (Dec 5, 2010)

Arioche said:


> An ENFP, and I'm usually in the dominant role.
> 
> This is due to my naturally assertive/active/domineering personality, however, and is not a case exclusively limited to romantic relationships. I consider my partner as my equal, and see no reason to hold them down or force them into submissive role (I find over dependence, lack of self confidence, and 'selling short' to be unattractive, especially if they're "acting the part" on purpose). Optimally, I prefer relationship in which both parties can be independent and authentic, and hold mutual respect for each other and their competencies. If this requirement is met, assignment of sub/dom "role" is of little consequences. I just let things proceed naturally, and as I tend to end up in the "dom" role, I am fine with it as long as my partner feels comfortable with it as well.
> 
> As for type preference, I usually go for the INTJs (my current partner being one,) there's something about the complementary Ne-Ni and matching judging function that takes the connection to a whole another level. That being said, there are too many individual differences within the group to definitely place favouritism on a certain type. I do know that I'm usually not too good with someone with high Si or Fe, though.


Gah.... You sound just like me, except I actively want to be the dom... That being said, I'm also an ENFP, so its a mutual decision, but I do like to be dom in bed... And I am VERY jealous that you have an INTJ SO... particularly as a sub..

I like INTJ's , INFJ's, and sometimes ESFP's.


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## dagnytaggart (Jun 6, 2010)

Interesting. I am a definite Dom, so that's 1 for the NT side. My favorite sub was an ISTJ.


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