# 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝗨𝗻𝘀𝗮𝗳𝗲, 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗡𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗪𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗗𝗘𝗔𝗗!(*𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗧𝗔𝗞𝗘 𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗘!)



## X10E8 (Apr 28, 2021)

*NARCISSISTIC ABUSE RECOVERY SUPPORT (NARS) ASSISTS*
𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝗨𝗻𝘀𝗮𝗳𝗲, 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗡𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗪𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗗𝗘𝗔𝗗!(*𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗧𝗔𝗞𝗘 𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗘!) 













*What Serial Killers And Narcissist Have In Common*
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Every Psychopath is a Narcissist but not every Narcissist is a Psychopath, 
I have had tons of my clients come to me with concerns that they are either dating or married to a narcissist. They often describe to me some of the typical behaviors that are often observed in the relationship or marriage with their narcissistic partners. 

Some of these behaviors include gaslighting, crazy-making, and love bombing all used as an effort to manipulate and create mind control over the relationship partner. 

As I have studied personality disorders and had the opportunity to provide therapy to clients who have symptoms of personality disorders, I have noticed striking parallels in the behaviors of serial killers (also many times identified as sociopaths) and narcissists.

Though I have never counseled a known serial killer, the study of this personality type strongly resembles that of what I often see in the narcissist. Apparently this is old news for many researchers who study these personality disorders. 

I was so compelled by the parallels in their behaviors from my own studies and experience, that I decided to research this topic even deeper. In this blog, I would like to share with you some of my observations and thoughts.

*Narcissist And Serial Killers Can Both Be Dangerous*

It’s obvious that a serial killer is dangerous, but many times I feel that the companions who are in relationships or marriage with narcissists are not completely aware of how dangerous a narcissist can be. 

When I speak of danger I am speaking from a physical as well was emotional sense. I can’t tell you the number of clients that describe their narcissistic spouse to be controlling, physically abusive, sexually abusive, and very prone to “blackouts” when they are in rage. Narcissists many times hoard rage and when rubbed the wrong way can be very violent.

It has been very commonplace for a client to tell me about how their narcissistic partner might place a gun on display as a subtle deterrent reminding their spouse or partner of the potential danger they may experience if they decide to leave. These are also actions identified by sociopaths. With both of these personality disorders, the individual may show patterns of being vengeful, controlling, obsessive and intimidating.

When a narcissist is violated to the core, the narcissist may act out with rage. This rage is often identified to be a response to what is known as a narcissistic injury. 

The _Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders_ describes narcissistic injury to be: “… vulnerability in self-esteem which makes narcissistic people very sensitive to ‘injury’ from criticism or defeat. Although they may not show it outwardly, criticism may haunt these individuals and may leave them feeling humiliated, degraded, hollow and empty. They react with disdain, rage, or defiant counterattack.” 

The average sociopath has also been injured emotionally. One of the primary differences I feel between the way the narcissist and the serial killer when it comes to injury, is how they compartmentalize the feelings, and how they act them out. Both suffer greatly from vulnerabilities with self-esteem.

*Sociopaths and Narcissist Pocket Emotions*

Serial killers, narcissists, and many sociopaths appear to have poise and the ability to pocket much of their rage until they are in the appropriate setting to unleash it. A serial killer may pocket a great deal of their emotion until it is time to make the kill. The kill almost seems to feed their hunger for an emotional release, allowing them to unleash repressed anger, hurt and rage. 

Many serial killers have been observed to have an ability to sustain their rage for long periods of time, but at some point, there has to be a release. Murder many times is not punishment for a wrong that was done to them by a victim. Murder for the serial killer is often a response interconnected with the wrongs that perceive have been done to them over a lifetime. 

The narcissist holds similar measures of rage, but with most narcissist instead of mortally harming the body, the narcissist seeks to harm the souls of those who often care for them the most. When the spiritual needs of the narcissist are not met, the rage of the narcissist is often only soothed by violent emotional attacks on those whom they love, and often those who choose to cross them.

Both the sociopath and the narcissist hoard and split off their negative emotions in a way very calculated way. They are many times so skilled at POCKETING emotion, that family friends and close loved ones will often never believe the storyline of the victim’s abuse in the relationship or marriage due to the fact that they truly have never seen this side of their personality. 

The sociopaths and the narcissist uncanny ability to repress true emotions experienced in relationships deviates so far from the norm that this is no doubt one of the reasons these disorders have been categorized under the term “personality disorders.”

*Don’t Piss Them Off*

There will be hell to pay if you piss off a serial killer or a narcissist. The serial killer or sociopath does not mind seeing its victim suffer. This characteristic is very common with the narcissist as well, especially when the narcissist has been injured. When the ego of a sociopath has been threatened in a relationship/marriage, somebody is going to have to pay.

Ok nobody or most of us are not trying to get into relationships with sociopaths and serial killers, but there are a few folks out there who don’t mind. 

The sociopath and the narcissist are often known for their charisma. They can often be the life of the party. They stand out in the crowd. They often the ability to get their way because of their skilled use of words and charm. The male narcissist is often popular with the ladies. Both narcissistic men and women commonly choose infidelity in marriages and relationships. 

It is a mistake to think that one could identify a serial killer or narcissist by their looks or dispositions. The sociopath, serial killers and narcissist as well many times understand how to mirror the behaviors of their relationship or marriage partners to fit the mold of their liking.

One of the key components that identifies both of these sets of personalities is that they often have an extreme absence of empathy in relationships or just life in general. 

Sociopaths and narcissist are all very hurt self-centered individuals who are often obsessed with ruminating both consciously and unconsciously about the respect that they experience or lack in relationships. They are so obsessed with this type of thinking that they are completely tuned out or nearly oblivious to the pain and hurt of others.

Many times the narcissist and the sociopath seem to be unconcerned with others’ emotions in relationships. It is my belief that the lack of empathy that narcissists and sociopaths experience in relationships has less to do with them being unconcerned about others’ feelings and more to do with an obsession for their own feelings and well being. 

These are survival defense mechanisms that have less to do with harming others and more to do with protecting themselves for personal gain. Both the narcissist and the sociopath will hurt, wound or destroy their relationship or marriage partner in order to preserve their own emotional state.

*No Proven Cure for the Sociopath or Narcissist*

There is only one cure I am aware of if you are in a relationship with a narcissist or sociopath. Get Out!!! (if you’re not married).  In all sincerity, this is a situation for much fasting and praying. Here’s why! There is currently no evidence-based cure to correct the narcissist or sociopath’s behaviors.

In my opinion, the primary reason why there is no cure is that the narcissist and the sociopath are unrepentant. They have been so mortally wounded in relationships (many times through childhood trauma), that they will not allow themselves to reflectively evaluate change. 

In relationships, they often have to be rewarded for change. They often have persistently recorded and replayed so much hurt that they take on a false sense of self. Fear of rejection, abandonment, and disappointments in relationships are so acute that they are unable to be vulnerable.

Serial killers and narcissists’ insecurities shut themselves out from positive changes in their marriage and relationships. Their insecurities make true intimacy in relationships a near impossibility because they have little to no emotional commitment. 

Being wrong means an emotional death to the narcissist and the sociopath. They often interpret being wrong to mean that they are bad, unaccomplished, monsters, incompetent, incapable of being loved, fraudulent, and wide open to the risk of receiving rejection and/or abandonment. 

In order for the narcissist and the sociopath to live and breathe in relationships, they often feel that it is necessary to take the oxygen out of the room. They will take your oxygen because from their perspective it’s a life or death situation for them. There is no in-between.

*Is There Any Hope For The Sociopath or Narcissist?*

The only true hope outside of prayer is that the narcissist and sociopath is changing their approach to coping with hurt and anger. If they can view anger in relationships as being a secondary emotion that covers uncomfortable feelings, relationships would greatly be improved. 

This is not an impossible task. The healing for these two groups involves a spiritual force of internal self compassion, until the force of your self love is so strong that it overtakes their forces, at which point you become totally immune to the narcissists. 


*Have You Been Dating A Sociopath or a Narcissist?*

If you have been dating a narcissist, staying in the relationship too long can be detrimental. 

What is more interesting and compelling is that this is likely not the first time. We support you with understanding the reasons why you may be attracting these characters. 

We not only help you with understanding why you may be attracting narcissists/sociopaths, but we provide interventions to support you with being permanently free from these types of relationships.
If you desire to be free, give us a call!!



https://aspirecounselingal.com/what-serial-killers-and-narcissist-have-in-common/



When you met the narcissist, you were the flame that lit up their life, the diamond in the rock and their sole purpose for living. They had never met anyone like you before and they said I wish I had met you years ago. You were placed on a massive pedestal where they could lovingly admire you and look into your eyes and tell you just how beautiful you are. 

They were infatuated with you and they have never met anyone like you before. All the other relationships were a disappointment in comparison to you. You lovingly mirror this back to them believing this is how they see you. Wow, I have never been treated so wonderfully before, I am the luckiest person in the world. 

I cannot believe I have met someone so beautiful and someone just like me. We have so much in common, we share the same interest, like the same foods and love going to the same places. They love to get to know me and show me affection like I have never received before. They are my soul mate; the love of my life and I just know they are ‘the one’.

Over the coming months things just kept getting better and better and you’ve morphed into one and other. The narcissist has promised you the earth, marriage, children, romantic holidays and the promise of a long happy life together. You are *hooked* on their ‘love’, their ‘tenderness’, and their ‘care’ for you. You’ve fallen for them hook, line and sinker. 

You’ve even overlooked the minor indiscretions you’ve seen and the subtle signs of abuse and gaslighting. You tell yourself, ‘they’ve just had a bad day’ and they are under a lot of stress at work’. The narcissist knows you are into them as they have invested so much time into you and have shown you so many signs that they ‘love you’. Now that your guard is down, ‘BANG’, the narcissist has got you right where they want you.

Unfortunately, what you do not realise is, you have become their *unsuspecting target* of relentless *abuse, gaslighting, silent treatment, stonewalling, word salad, verbal, and emotional abuse and in many cases physical and sexual abuse.* All this without you knowing. They are like a magician with their bag of never-ending tricks which they pull out of thin air whenever they like. 

The *love bombing stage* is a distant memory, although you hold out hope it will come right back again and the narcissist will return to that ‘loving, caring and adoring’ person like they used to be. Sometimes they do show glimmers of hope, although this is usually after they have totally *hurt, injured and discarded you*. 

They come back *hoovering *like a knight in shining armour or your greatest cheer leader. You can breathe a sigh of relief now and forget every bad thing they have done to you. You just want to move on, even though they *didn’t apologise*, and they may have *even blamed you*. It doesn’t matter though because ‘I am just glad they are back to their ‘happy loving selves’. 

You tell yourself ‘they do love me, and I just knew *if I tried harder*, they would see how much I love them and that I am not really that bad’.
A year or more passes by and you know there is something extremely off with the narcissist, but you just can’t put your finger on it. The cycles of lovebombing get shorter and shorter and the *cycles of devaluation and discard* gets faster and faster. 

You feel your health starting to deteriorate and wonder why in hell can’t I think for myself. You veer to the narcissist for their validation and acceptance because you can’t make a decision for yourself. Eventually, you start asking yourself things like, ‘I didn’t used to be like this, I was always so independent, sociable and full of fun. I always spent time with my family and now I barely see them’. 

Are my family really that bad like my partner says they are? I never used to suffer from *anxiety* and *depression, insomnia* and *panic attacks*, so why I am constantly feeling this way now? You had no idea that on a psychological level you were being flooded with serotonin, which is the ‘love hormone’ throughout the lovebombing phase and cortisol, the stress hormone when you being devalued. 

The combination of these two chemicals are so extreme you become addicted to the narcissist’s cycle of abuse and become *trauma bonded*, which also results in you living on fight, fright or freeze mode, not knowing what will happen next. You are in an alarming desperation for things to return to the ‘way things were’ in the loveabombing phase.

Your intuition has been desperately trying to awaken you and send you signs to GET THE F..K OUT of the relationship because *you are not safe* and the narcissist is purposefully trying to manage you down *so they can control*, everything about you and you have spent so long ignoring the screaming red flags. However, as you begin starting to put the dots together you realise that the narcissist actually likes to see your suffering. 

You start questioning ‘why do they always kick me when I am down’, ‘why do they leave me when I need them the most’? None of it makes sense, so you turn to the internet and write in Google “why is my partner so angry all the time? Why does he put me down? Or why does she treat me like I don’t exist?” These are just some of the many questions you are asking yourself. 

The list is endless. It is absolutely mindf..king….. Google leads you down a path of discovery when the words NARCISSIST, NARCISSTIC ABUSE, EMOTIONAL ABUSE, GASLIGHTING and TRAUMA BOND are plastered all over the search results. OMG, I am with a NARCSISSIST! Initially, you feel a sense of validation and acceptance but also a sense of fear and WTF do I do now. 

You didn’t realise what narcissism was but you quickly become an expert on the topic and you see there are thousands just like you that have finally woken up to the fact that you are with a disordered person and there’s no going back.
Your grieving also starts here as you don’t want to believe it and you ask yourself what if it is me? what if I am the narcissist because I treated them badly too. I responded just as bad as them sometimes… 

You don’t understand the power of reactive abuse yet, where they abuse, and you react and then *it is all your fault*! You keep your newfound knowledge to yourself and become the Watcher of their behaviour. As the narcissist continues down the old familiar trajectory of constant abuse it is not too long now before you take off the orange glasses and you see them for what they are. 

You just know that you are dealing with a narcissist! You finally decide after probably years ‘I have had enough’ and you end the relationship, or if the narcissist has got wind that you’ve worked them out, *they discard you in the most horrible way.*
Either way you are alone. Alone with all the thoughts of what they did to you, the *devastation and the destruction.* Your *life broken* and on the floor in a million pieces. The memories of abuse ricochet, reverberate and rebound in your mind with no escape. You feel *physically and emotionally broken* coming to terms with the knowing that someone you had invested so much love, time and energy into treated you so badly. You realise you *meant absolutely nothing to them*, you were just an object to be used, a tool to fill their needs and they wouldn’t bat an eyelid if you were dead. *You’re are meaningless* as they ‘swan off’ into the sunset lovebombing the *new supply*. In fact, now you are history (for now) and to the *narcissist* you are dead! I know this sounds farfetched as I didn’t want to believe it either but let me tell you, the truth is either figuratively or literally speaking they want you dead.
Here are some reasons targets have reported why the narcissist wants them dead:

Once you have escaped the grubby grasp of the narcissist, you have now become enemy number 1. They know you know who and what they are and therefore you are pose danger to their life. There is no way they are going to let you destroy the newly fitted Mask they have made for the new supply. (I say *new supply* loosely here as it is likely they are not new at all. It is more than likely they were already lined up before you two separated. They may have *already been cheating* on you with them). They have already told the new supply you are mental, deranged, you have bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder. You were the cheater and you were off your head! Projection to the max!! You may also have been *triangulated* and pitted against the new supply as they have used you to make the new supply jealous because they have been told you’re a stalker, you want them back and won’t let leave them alone. They want to destroy you and you become the target of a vicious *smear campaign* and your shared friends are blaming you, believing you’re a cheater, you have got mental health problems and you are a trouble causer. You are like an old pair of shoes to the narcissist that have fallen apart at the soles. Once you have revealed the depths of their evil behaviour you are no longer a good form of supply and they will cast you aside for a ‘newer shinier pair of shoes’. *You are discarded and thrown at the back of the shoe box, just in case they need an old pair of shoes to do the gardening and then they will take you back out to wear again!* 
The narcissist, like they did with the old pair of shoes throwing you into the shoe box just in case they can get some further use out you, sees you has their belongings. They never totally move on and *collect targets like objects* and throw them in the narcissist’s hareem. The narcissist never wants you to move on because they know they will never be able to *manipulate* *and hoover* you back in again. *They are* *envious, jealous and predatory individuals* and certainly do not want to see you happy again and especially they do not want you to start another relationship. You are their property and you remain a doll on the shelf for when it all falls apart with the new supply and then it’s playtime again!
Narcissists are sadistic, unbalanced and unhinged and gain supply from seeing you in pain. They would like nothing more than to hear you have attempted suicide or even killed yourself. Look back into your own experiences and I bet there will have been many times when you have thought I am sure they are trying to push me over the edge! If you did kill yourself, they would parade themselves as the ultimate victim, saying “look, I told you they weren’t right”. Before long they would have everyone feeling sorry for them because of what you ‘put them through’. I remember a narcissist saying to me “I could kill you without anyone knowing” I said WTF are you talking about. This narcissist had a background working with chemicals and stated they knew what chemical to use to kill someone without it leaving traces in the blood stream and therefore would not show up in a toxicology report? The narcissist proceeded to say it was only a joke! I called a good friend straight after and told them what had been said in case anything happened. I have heard from so many targets of a narcissist either directly or indirectly making threats again their lives because they get off on seeing your fear and suffering.
Narcissists *lack empathy*, they are reckless and will do anything to get their own way. They often use their children as leverage and embrace opportunities to use the children against their ex-partner. They use them as a tool for revenge and would love nothing more than rob you of your children and so be it if you die, it is still a win to the narcissist. This happened to be in the early 2000’s, my 4 children were used has pawns in a sick game of revenge. I lost two of them to Him for three years, because him and his toxic family alienated them from me. It filled them with no end of supply.
A narcissist is greedy and once you are off the scene, they do not want you to have anything. They will financially abuse you and see you without the basics, if there isn’t a court order or child maintenance involved to make them accountable (and they flaunt these wherever they can). If they believed by you dying, they could claim everything that belonged to you, or to stop you from getting a fair settlement from them they would be happy about it. 
As you can see, there is no loss and you have dodged so many bullets that were coming your way if you have ended the relationship. The narcissist is so void of positive loving feelings and it was all an act which you played the role of *scapegoat.* 

You became a vessel for the narcissist to pour their venom into anytime they wanted. The relationship you were in was a lie, a lie sold by the narcissist so they could have their never ending empty well poured into. 

I know it is hard coming to terms with this but like the narcissist has done now for the new supply, they created a Mask just for you and mirrored you lovely qualities back onto you. At least now you know you are a fabulous person, because the good character traits coming at you from the narcissist were already yours which they stole from you because they do not have an identity of their own. 

*None of it was your fault*, you didn’t ask for the abusive behaviour. If you are guilty of anything it is accepting far less than you deserved. 

However, over time you will recover from the *CPTSD symptoms*, and your *boundaries* will be firmly in place, and this will protect you from other *toxic individuals* who may try to infiltrate your life. With gifts like yours, narcissists are attracted to them like a moth to a flame. Knowledge and education are key and seeking professional help to healing your wounds from the past. 

Be prepared to leave no stone left unturned when it comes to your healing journey. Give yourself lashings of self-love, care, compassion and kindness. Meet your inner child’s needs the way they should have been, but never were. It is only your responsibility alone to heal as there is absolutely no one on earth that can do that for you. It does hurt, it hurts bad because you believed you’d met the love of life, your soulmate which ended up being your cellmate! Another thing do not be jealous of the new supply because they do not know what they have got themselves into.

I have nothing but compassion for the new supply, after all, we have all been the ‘new supply’ taking the baton from the beaten down old supply. Unfortunately for the soulless narcissist, the cycles continue and continues with one failed relationship after another, always cheating, always blaming and always shaming others to avoid facing their own wounds and healing. They choose to live this way as it is easier for them and becomes their mode of operation. They leave relationships blameless and never offer their targets closure because that would mean taking responsibility and they are definitely not going to do that. It is now time to give yourself closure, as you know the truth… They are a narc narc-ing and unfortunately you fell in love with The Tin Man who didn’t have a heart. It is ok to forgive yourself for that as you were not to know. You invested in a narcissist because you have a good heart and one day, once you’ve spent time healing your childhood and relationship wounds you will go on to meet someone who is able to reciprocate your love and someone who has empathy just like you.
Love, light and healing
Sue
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support (NARS) Assists








5 Reasons the Narcissist wants you dead!


NARCISSISTIC ABUSE RECOVERY SUPPORT (NARS) ASSISTS When you met the narcissist, you were the flame that lit up their life, the diamond in the rock and their sole purpose for living. They had never …




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“I’m going to fucking kill you!”
“You’d better do it or you’re dead!”
“I wish you were dead!”
“You are going to die.”
You may well have heard such threats and declarations of intent from our kind. 

The savage Lesser who has erupted in a volcanic reaction of ignited fury who grabs the kitchen knife and thrusts it through the air towards his victim, the self-pitying Mid Ranger who in a tantrum of impotence and hatred expresses his wish that you were dead or the dread words delivered with the reptilian smile of the Greater ; each school has its own ways of issuing this threat.

Yet, is this just wishful thinking or a solid desire to see you dead? Are these words issued more for effect than the reality of murdering you, causing an ‘accident’ or hoping that some intervening act causes you to be wiped from this mortal coil?

The general position is that we do not actually want you dead in the sense of physically dead. There are notable exceptions, which we shall address below, but it is rare for those exceptions to occur. The fact is that numerous commentators believe that we want you dead and the truth is, we do not. That is another myth that is held about our kind, that it is our ultimate desire, our final expression of victory for us to kill you. It is largely incorrect and here is why :-

A dead appliance is a useless appliance. Your purpose is threefold to us, whether you are a tertiary, secondary or primary source. You are to provide us with fuel, character traits and/or residual benefits and the more important the appliance in our fuel matrix, the more likely that you will provide all three and do so impressively. Accordingly, if you are providing us with the very things that we want and need it makes no sense at all to render you incapable of providing them. But, I hear you ask, what of the appliances that are no longer functioning in the way that we want? A valid question.
Firstly, when you stop functioning in terms of the provision of positive fuel (you do not provide enough/frequently enough/it runs stale) we switch to devaluation and even though we hate you and paint you black for your treachery in no longer fulfilling your specified role through the provision of positive fuel, you still have a role to play. You become the fountain of negative fuel.

Secondly, you still have a role to play with regard to the provision of character traits and residual benefits. You may be supporting us financially, taking care of us, running a household, caring for the children and other matters which not only benefit us day-to-day but support our all important façade.
Thirdly, you are required for the purposes of triangulation with our other appliances and maintaining the provision of fuel as we seek out your ultimate replacement.

Now you ask, what then when we choose to dis-engage, clearly we have no longer any desire to interact with you at all, why not kill you then? These leads us on to the other reasons why we choose not to kill you.

2. Notwithstanding our contempt for rules, the law and regulations, the higher functioning of our kind are mindful of the adverse interference that comes from nosey law enforcement if we murder you. It brings unwanted scrutiny and the potential to fetter our right to do what we want and we are not so stupid as to act in a way that will blatantly jeopardise that.

3. We treat you as dead without the inconvenience of actually killing you. We effectively delete you when we concentrate on the new IPPS through the new golden period. Accordingly, by ignoring you, removing you from social media postings, blocking you, not answering your messages or calls, then we have ‘killed’ you and this provides us with a far more satisfactory outcome.

4. You are ‘kept alive’ for the inevitable hoover. Although wanting to see you, interact with you or indeed do anything with you at all is last on our list when we have dis-engaged from you, unconsciously there remains that advantage to be achieved by keeping you alive so we can hoover you for fuel (positive or negative) or achieve this as well as bring you back into the Formal Relationship to acquire the other aspects of the Prime Aims. Remember, there has been a considerable investment in you and whilst we ‘kill you’ by putting you from our minds during the golden period with the new IPPS, we will want to draw down on our investment in due course. Accordingly, there is no point physically killing you.

5. There are alternative methods where we can in effect murder you without the potential risk to liberty. The key ways that this is done are as follows :-
a. Character assassination – ( The Paranoia of Character Assassination )
b. Smearing – ( see Smear and Loathing )
c. Silent Treatments – ( The Smiling Assassin ) and ( 17 Salvos of Silence )
d. Devaluation as a whole
Thus whilst we do not physically kill you, we slay your character, your reputation, your self-worth, your sense of existence, your connection to us and still continue to draw fuel from you, something we could not do if you were physically dead.

5. Punishment. By you remaining alive, we are able to punish you. This asserts and maintains our sense of superiority, enables us to draw fuel and ensures that we feel a sense of achievement and retribution against you. It also means we can keep on punishing you, something that could not be done if we were to actually murder you.

6. By stating our intent or desire to kill you, this simple form of threat carries with it the ability to gain fuel from provoking a reaction from you, but also allows the establishment of superiority. It is a simple sentence but one which carries significant power with it. This low usage of energy with maximum impact appeals hugely to our kind and therefore it makes far more sense for us to THREATEN than to EXECUTE. Yes, in that moment we do want to kill you or see you dead because you have done something which has mortally offended us and therefore our reaction in uttering those words is entirely in accordance with a desire to kill but we do not actually do so (and ultimately we do not want to do so) because it goes against our fundamental needs.
Thus for all of these reasons whilst we may say we want you dead or that we want to kill you, the reality is we do not and we will not.
Thus this is the general rule, however, as with all rules, there are exceptions. What are the exceptions when the desire to kill is acted on?

The loss of control through ignited fury. Whilst the ignition of fury can potentially result in any school of narcissist entering a frenzy whereby there is the commission of physical violence, it is the Lesser who is most likely to murder as a consequence of the loss of control. This does not mean that all Lessers will kill, but rather, of all the schools, when there is a serious loss of control resulting in the ignition of fury, then the Lesser will want to kill and can and does kill. The fuel arising from the act, as he stabs, bludgeons, throttles or beats will be significant but not enough to heal the wound that has resulted in the ignition of fury and the loss of control, meaning the murderous act continues until the victim lies dead. Therein the fuel halts from the deceased victim. The narcissist may gain fuel from the reaction of witnesses also but ultimately that burst of fuel has gone with the demise of the victim. The murdering Lesser may use the fact of his killing to gain fuel in the future but as of now, he has lost a major appliance (if for instance he has murdered his IPPS) and therefore he will face a fuel crisis if he does not achieve fuel from alternative sources.
Going, going gone. There are circumstances where the narcissist recognises that the major fuel provider is ‘on the way out’ and thus the fuel is going to be lost anyway. This is not the situation where the appliance is escaping or leaving – our narcissistic perspective of you always belonging to us means that your escape, leaving or departure is not something that will happen because we control you and we will bring you back under our control through a Initial Grand Hoover or through Follow-Up Hoovers. Thus, if someone is about to escape, move away etc, this is not applicable. The situation of Going, Going, Gone applies to where the appliance is at risk of dying. There are two clear situations where this arises ; terminal injury or illness and suicide. In respect of terminal injury or illness, the narcissist knows that the fuel source will not be around for much longer and therefore ‘helping’ this person on their way would appeal to particular narcissists. There also has to be a benefit associated with such an act, namely doing it as an act of revenge for wounding, punishing for railing against the narcissist’s control and such like.
With regard to suicide, if the narcissist recognises that the victim is at a very low ebb and therefore is likely to end their own life and thus deprive (in one final act of defiance) the narcissist of fuel etc, the narcissist will encourage that individual to take their life and push them over the edge. This is rare, but accords with a desire on the part of the narcissist to punish and gain revenge. 

This punishment and revenge goes beyond that normally experienced and would be as a consequence of a major exposure and/or major wounding. Thus if an individual is in a position whereby suicidal ideation occurs, the narcissist is aware of this and senses that it is likely to occur, the narcissist, in accordance with his or her god-like view of themselves and the need to exact punishing revenge will pressure, cajole, encourage and manipulate to push the victim over the edge so that he or she commits suicide.

3. Malice. A Greater Narcissist wants you dead. There is no Going, Going Gone scenario which would be harnessed by any of the schools of narcissists. In this instance the malicious and calculating Greater has determined that your death is required. 

Again, this is rare and the Greater will have evaluated that the loss of a useful appliance is offset by the need to dis-incentivise this individual. There will be no clumsy rage-filled Lesser bludgeoning, or pillow-smothering Mid-Ranger with the dying cancer-ridden parent. Here the Greater sees you as a problem, an obstacle which must be removed. 

Usually it will be because the Greater recognises that you have access to information which will cause him or her considerable difficulty or that you have the ability to create a significant exposure problem. 

The Greater will not go down this route lightly, instead he or she will look to manipulate the situation in an alternative manner, but ultimately the Greater’s malicious core, their need for the maintenance of the status quo and their superiority means that sometimes, sometimes there is a need to remove an individual completely. It may be made to be an accident, it may be subtle, it may involve a contract killing, but certain individuals, on rare occasions, will be removed because they pose a threat to the Greater’s plans and control. 

The individual may be a romantic appliance, a business appliance or a familial appliance, but if the Greater deems their removal necessary and this outweighs the benefits of continued punishment, torture and fuel provision from this individual, then they will be dis-incentivised.

Thus, the prevailing circumstances are that we do not want you dead, no matter how many times it might be threatened, because an alive appliance is a very useful appliance. However, on rare occasions there will be exceptions.








Why The Narcissist Wants You Dead - HG Tudor - Knowing The Narcissist - The World's No.1 Resource About Narcissism


“I’m going to fucking kill you!” “You’d better do it or you’re dead!” “I wish you were dead!” “You are going to die.” You may well have heard such threats and declarations of intent from our kind. The savage Lesser who has erupted in a volcanic reaction of ignited fury who grabs the kitchen […]



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