# Infx too nice ?



## nottelling (Dec 10, 2012)

Thoughts ? Experience ?


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## ENFJ.bunny (Feb 18, 2013)

I know quiet a few INFJ's and they can be selfish, most types are drawn to them and attracted to them too I find, especially sp's and they can come across as perfect.


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## nottelling (Dec 10, 2012)

ENFJ.bunny said:


> I know quiet a few INFJ's and they can be selfish, most types are drawn to them and attracted to them too I find, especially sp's and they can come across as perfect.


Coming across as perfect, agreed! Selfish, big time. Damn. I feel like it's so wrong an unnatural to be this way.


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## Christie42476 (May 25, 2012)

I'm frequently accused of being too nice by those who love me, as it tends to see me getting exploited. I'm working on it. 

I don't know any other INFx types IRL well enough to say with any degree of authority if this is common to the type or not. All I can say is that I'm not a selfish person, as it's impossible for me to ignore the impact of anything I do or anything I want on other people...that is _always _a consideration in every decision I make. And I wish that wasn't the case because it feels like it complicates everything, sometimes unnecessarily, and frequently leaves me in a state of inner conflict that is downright exhausting at times.

Most of the time, I give up what I want or need in favor of someone else's wants or needs often enough that the less scrupulous among them begin capitalizing on that until I'm just a cauldron of simmering resentment and supreme frustration. 

So, um, yeah, like I said, it's something I'm working on.


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## shefa (Aug 23, 2012)

I'm WAY too nice. Ironically, I'm this way for selfish reasons. People definitely see me as perfect. I think it annoys some people, but many people actually really like me because I'm so easy to get along with.


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## Murnando (Dec 10, 2011)

I don't find Fi to be too predisposed towards kindness, as it's an egocentric mindset. Caring and generous an Fi user may be, but that's not because their mind is inclined towards thinking about others over themselves. If it were so, then it would be Fe.

Fe users tend to be more friendly. Not all the time though. The thing with Fe is that it's almost like a megaphone, it takes the inside emotions gives them full force. It's usually easy to tell what an Fe user is feeling unless they're making an effort to hide it. It's for this reason why we see them as being more people inclined, as their emotional state is outwardly expressed, but it's all the reason why you do not want to screw with these people when they are pissed. I speak from past experience when I say that dominant Fe in a bad mood is like a tiger let out of it's cage.


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## Timewrap (Feb 27, 2013)

I know others would say I'm probably too nice. Though, It's not like I'm some compulsive altruist; I'm way too selfish to ever be considered that . I just really don't like to see people get picked-on or slighted in social settings. I tend to be really accepting and encouraging of people, sometimes to my own detriment.


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## Macona (Jul 28, 2011)

I like to think i'm nice, and generally I come across that way. 

I'm always going out of my way for people, but that might just be because I'm terrible at saying no.


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## surgery (Apr 16, 2010)

People have told me I'm "too nice" because I'm "too conscious" of other people's space. I never interrupt people when they're talking, or push ahead of people in line. At worst, I talk without raising my hand in class, but I usually catch myself quickly. I try to be polite as possible, but I am sort of aloof so I'm sure someone thinks I'm "selfish" in the stereotypical Fi sort of way. But, basically, I am just unassertive, but I don't really want to "lower" myself to anything less than how I already am. So, whateverrr.


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## KateMarie999 (Dec 20, 2011)

My INFJ friend can be very mean and judgmental. She has this superior attitude like everyone should do what she says and she backs this up by saying she's only being bossy because she loves them. It's not that I don't believe she has their best interests at heart but her attitude is not very nice.

My INFP friend is nice to just about everyone. I guess using Fi, for her, means not being so obnoxiously judgmental or trying to change other people. If she sees a value she has being violated, she'll go nuts but even then, she won't intentionally manipulate them into feeling a certain way. This has gotten her walked all over in the past. So I'd say that from my experience, INFPs are a little too nice but INFJs aren't nice enough.


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## Pete The Lich (May 16, 2011)

The types that heavily utilize Fe are the "nice" types
generally speaking


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## Nasmoe (Nov 11, 2009)

I'm an infp and all I know is that sometimes I can come off as too nice to sycophant, but that's mostly from low self esteem and niceness is all I usually have to offer.


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## another number (Feb 26, 2013)

I really feel it could go both ways with me.

I am affable and interested in talking with people until I hit a wall with them. 

At some point in getting to know a person I sense some sort of 'team' making thing, like talking about a mutual friend, seeking support for an action, etc. 

I don't take sides. I don't join groups. I foster bonds with individuals within groups. If I sense resistance to my expressiveness I let them 'go'. 

Then again strangers ask me how I am so happy. My nickname at the museum from the security guards was 'smiley'. A friend I worked with in a cafe back at college in Boston confessed he thought I went into the bathroom to sniff coke. Never touched it.

I could be a great friend to anyone who wants an honest opinion and knows how to take it objectively. 

Crying during critiques is for Art School. Ugh..


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## amanda32 (Jul 23, 2009)

I'm definitely too nice -- so "nice" in fact that I'm going to stop being nice. I'm going to stop giving to people and stop offering to help because it causes me to draw users and takers into my life; people take me for granted constantly as well. 

They also lose respect for me because I'm nice to them even after they're not nice to me because I try to think they meant differently than they did or I misunderstood or I'm being too sensitive -- or I just want to forgive and forget and be at peace with them.


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## IcarusDreams (Apr 23, 2011)

One can never be too nice.  One can, however, due to lack of enough self-respect, let others use your nice inclinations, if you happen to have them (NFs are not wararnted to be "nice".) I would never want to stop being nice, but I did stop not loving myself enough so that now I also am nice to myself as well, as I should have all along.


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## Vanishing Point (Oct 2, 2012)

I have been told by two very respected psychologists since my depression deepened that I am not only exceptionally nice (after telling them the things I was most ashamed of i.e. treating people badly.) but also over estimate others' niceness and have unusually high ethical standards for myself.... So yeah I'm officially nice.


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

I think a lot of NFs can be "too nice" by their own standards, but often fail to realize what the people around them actually need. For instance, an NF might go out of their way to talk to someone about their feelings (because that is what the NF thinks is helpful) when the other person really just wants to be left alone or distracted.


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## 54-46 ThatsMyNumber (Mar 26, 2011)

I've seen a study that showed that a genuine smile and hello to a stranger can be passed on person to person and continue up to a year. Ill take any opportunity I can to be responsible for that. Also people are nicer to you and life becomes easier.


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## Sun Lips (Jan 28, 2013)

Nah, man, I don't think there is such a thing as 'too nice.'

I'm really nice.  Sometimes there are negative connotations, like being seen as weak, or people trying to walk all over you. But I think it's a small price to pay to be a caring person. There aren't enough of us, you know! Embrace it.


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## I am me (Mar 4, 2013)

i'm not too nice, but i'm not mean. I try to be nice and include everyone, but i'm not fake. I hate when people pretend to be nice. i can see through them and it gets me nervous. especially when others don't see that they are pretending or exaggerating their niceness


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## Pamphlet (Oct 9, 2012)

There's no such thing as 'too nice'.


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## WardRhiannon (Feb 1, 2012)

I can be a pushover because I sometimes care too much what people think of me and I avoid conflict a lot of the time. 

I have 2 INFJ friends. One is very nice, though I wouldn't call him a pushover. The other INFJ is both very aggressive and very compassionate and doesn't hesitate to call someone out or to state her opinion. She's also a healthy Type Eight.


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## overthinking reality (Mar 20, 2013)

I have been called "too nice" multiple times by my friends and family. I agree that "too nice" doesn't really exist, although putting others' needs before your own (something that I do more than I should) could be called "too nice" sometimes. Most of my INFx friends could also be categorized as "too nice" as well.


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

I think INFJs are too...parent-like. We are called the protectors, and while that sounds nice and dandy, there is an other side to it. We protect because we believe we know what's right: So we have a hard time letting those go down the wrong path. It is out of love, but sometimes it can come off as pompous. Something all INFJs have to work on.

Fe, for me, is a very...confusing thing. I'm ALWAYS nice with people, but sometimes I feel as if being nice isn't really me, it's just I understand so much about social interactions that I find it impossible not to be nice. However, on the other hand, the only compliment that can make me melt is when someone calls me nice or compliments my politeness. That confuses me since I feel as if being nice is not my intentions. 

But I don't know. My Ni and Fe are always battling with each other. Thankfully my Ni wins most of the time. roud:


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## Afruabarkio (May 29, 2011)

Bananas.


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