# Confidence in bed & MBTI types.



## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

The best snuggler and kisser I ever knew was an ESFP. He was perfectly tuned in to my responses, even without being an intuitive. In fact, I think there are some intuitives who forget the bodies are even involved in the process, which can hinder the expression of the intangible feelings. It's like trying to talk to someone while forgetting that words exist, but being incapable of telepathy. Oh, but then I'm forgetting that there's another level to it all: meaning. The most special kiss ever, regardless of any physical awkwardness or psychological surprise was when I got to be my current boyfriend's first. I guess he'd never even been kissed on the cheek, let alone initiated an actual kiss on the lips, and the delight of knowing he chose me for that privilege was powerful enough that I still get all glowy thinking about it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thewindlistens (Mar 12, 2009)

It's not about skill, it's about taking the moment and enjoying it. Enjoying the feeling of being close to your partner and sharing yourselves with each other. Not thinking about how well you're performing, that just kills everything.

On an (_obviously_) unrelated note, I enjoy it a lot more if I've had something to drink beforehand.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

snail said:


> I guess it depends on how much I'm in love with the person. My body is naturaly quite sensitive, and, when I am not making any effort to self-protectively disconnect from it, is noticeably responsive to touch, which can be validating for the partner if he enjoys pleasing others. Also, I believe my skills at giving oral sex are above average, but this is cancelled out by my inability to orgasm while receiving it, due to excessive physical sensitivity that can make it painfully intense. When I read about INFPs in high school, I was still a virgin. The book said our romanticism prevented us from studying sexual techniques, and made us bad in bed because of the false belief that being in love would magically make us good at physically expressing that love. ...so, wanting my first time to be ideal, I went out and read as many books as I could to get ideas.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I admit that I am less about "skills" than I am about the passion, emotional connection, intimacy, and trust.
If all of that is there, than I think we'll both have a pretty good time (not you & me, snail, but some hypothetical man ). It doesn't mean I am naive enough to think it all magically falls into place, but I think there's something to be said for the playfulness and openness that goes along with a high level of comfort/trust. No amount of skills can make up for that.

If I am not emotionally connected and do not feel very comfortable with someone, then I also tend to disconnect from physical sensation. This is _partly_ why one night stands and casual sex has no appeal in reality for me. It just would not be enjoyable in anyway.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

Well, the book that complained about NFs being bad in bed for lack of study was written by an NT, so... 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ape (Aug 11, 2009)

Scruffy said:


> You don't need to be good if you Hit it n' Quit it.
> 
> 
> I'd say I'm average, in the sack.


Dude above said Se dominant (ESTP) could make the sexual experience so vivid that you might pop off early?

Is this the case for you?

Had been for me for years until I gained pimp hand on The Hog

I think high Se would make round three and four easier to get up for


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## Munchies (Jun 22, 2009)

easy peasy


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## ape (Aug 11, 2009)

I have the Bond like ability to rapture a women into ecstasy as a Hog wielding Maestro ........ my meat hammer, a thick girthed flesh syringe that mainlines carnal pleasure into my love puppet's loins.

I can also pop early like a fourteen year old boy dry humping on the dance floor

Alot like Bo Jackson playing baseball.....a booming home run clear outta the park...... or a savage swing and strikeout.

I sometimes bunt on base when a strike out is not an option (preemptive ambush oral sex)


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

K maybe we are all overly confident. Cause we can't ALL be above average.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

ape said:


> I have the Bond like ability to rapture a women into ecstasy as a Hog wielding Maestro ........ my meat hammer, a thick girthed flesh syringe that mainlines carnal pleasure into my love puppet's loins.
> 
> I can also pop early like a fourteen year old boy dry humping on the dance floor
> 
> ...


 How crudely poetic! I laughed so hard my ribs are sore.  Nice use of language, I must admit.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

thehigher said:


> K maybe we are all overly confident. Cause we can't ALL be above average.


It's too subjective. You may be amazing to one person, or with that person, but awful to/with another.
I didn't even bother to vote because of that.


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

OrangeAppled said:


> It's too subjective. You may be amazing to one person, or with that person, but awful to/with another.
> I didn't even bother to vote because of that.



Nice wisdom smack down. I would join but I already voted.


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## BehindSmile (Feb 4, 2009)

I always worry I'm awful in bed. I don't have that much experience and I've watched porn since I was probably 13. I feel like I have to be flexible, be able to do crazy positions and do all the stuff in the porn movies to be good in bed...to be honest, I put a lot of pressure on myself which in turn affects my libido...

I never feel sexy either. Feeling Unsexy & bad in bed...doesn't turn me on much. :sad:


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## WickedQueen (Jun 1, 2009)

I didn't vote either. But that's because I haven't had any sex yet due to my religious belief, although I'm confident I can be a great partner. 




BehindSmile said:


> I always worry I'm awful in bed. I don't have that much experience and I've watched porn since I was probably 13. I feel like I have to be flexible, be able to do crazy positions and do all the stuff in the porn movies to be good in bed...to be honest, I put a lot of pressure on myself which in turn affects my libido...
> 
> I never feel sexy either. Feeling Unsexy & bad in bed...doesn't turn me on much. :sad:


I think you should stop feeling sorry for yourself, it's getting overrated now.


.


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## jochris (Jul 18, 2009)

WickedQueen said:


> I didn't vote either. But that's because I haven't had any sex yet due to my religious belief, although I'm confident I can be a great partner.


There's a specific option for that. :crazy:


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## ape (Aug 11, 2009)

Speaking of sexual confidence......

I woke up one morning and broke up with my stripper girlfriend (who I had just rescued from bad men in Iceland) on my first morning in Amsterdam.

I then went on a weed, booze and pro babes bender

Whilst roaming the cobble stoned narrow pathways of windowed lust I came apoun a crowd of men encircled around one window of pleasure. I looked at their faces as I moved my way to the front of the crowd and all had intimidation and awe in their lusting but fearful eyes. I swung my head forward as the crowd parted and beheld a sex goddess in full glory.

She was a cartoon sex babe from the pages of Heavy Metal come to life. Her hands were on her hips, her chin tilted upward, her eyes defiant......who was man enough to enter a Sex Goddesses windowed honey hole to satisfy her needs?

Everyone seemed to be holding back......I did not hesitate

Her eyes turned from disdain to interest when she caste her eyes upon me.I was a large buck, well muscled and virile. Confident

I entered and we did not talk.....the tension before battle.....I removed my shirt, she hers......the tension thickened......my pants dropped...... her eyes dropped and her lips curled in a slight smile of satisfaction......the warrior had come equipped for battle.

She cheated.....she ambushed me with intense oral pleasure right out of the gate..... for too long

My Se was in overload.....sirens blaring.....lights flashing.....pressure building

I reacted with instinct and powered her into mounted position and gave her fifteen seconds of desperate hip swivels and power thrust....... then the dam of pleasure mixed with shame burst

Game over

Gutter ball 

She grunted in disgust and disappointment. I, post orgasmic, had mixed feelings.

(_great to bust a nut on/in a hot babe........ but was it Bondish in style and result....would she betray her country on my behalf? _
_It didn't have the betray my country for ya vibe at all.....it was more a who the fuck let you into secret agent school and who the bloody fuck actually made you an agent......you fucking assclown......kinda vibe_)

She would not look at me as she dressed.....my mission a failure 

For the rest of the night my failure haunted me.....I was a sexual zero.....not a sexual hero

Next night, I again entered the cobble stoned maze of carnal pleasures and I sought redemption. I looked in many windows and walked by until I came apoun a window girl that had the look of an old girlfriend.

I entered and after a short time we were in race position. I did a little hip dipsey and doodle, gauging her facial reactions at my thrusting efforts. Hard to tell......that's when it hit me.....what the hell am I doing....I'm paying.....I'm the man.....so fuck it......I'm gonna go how I wanna go.

So I picked up the pace and the power......straight forward.....pure power and lust......pounding ever faster......she moaned and clawed at my back.....my body relaxed.....my pace increased......a driving flesh piston with a pubic bone thud sounding like a V8 engine reving

She yelled out....tensed and released me......I continued to hammer, finishing with a primal moan.

I sat back on my haunches and began to giggle......I was about to apologies when she said in a strong Dutch accent....

"My God was that refreshing"

"What was" I queried?

"A man with a big cock who knows how to fuck"

I told her there was no reason to talk me up as I had already payed, but she said that she was being honest, she said most men dipsey and doodle (then she made arrrrg noice as judgement on the Dip and Doo dudes) whereas I just layed it down. (the pipe that is).

I left the place, walking the cobble stones....the sun had broken through the North Seas sky...... a Bee Gees song played in my head.

_Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,_
_Im a womans man: no time to talk._
_Music loud and women warm, Ive been kicked around_
_Since I was born._
_And now its all right. its ok._
_And you may look the other way._


From presumed hero to zero back to hero in 24 . Ain't life a trip?

Later, I tried the same Bondlike (I assume) moves on other pro babes.....the next three dug it.....I was riding high.....changing my life's plans. On my last night in town I tried on a Californian blonde....she did not dig it......at all......she called me "a Tarzan" and told me it was not pleasurable at all. My bubble burst

Back to zero and back to diving in ice cold waters with real big currents

The "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" life for me was not meant to be, in this life

_edit_

_I also got robbed twice in that 24.....but that's another story_


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

Ape, I guess it just depends on what the individual girl is into, or even what mood she's in. I like your erotic writing style, whether I'd be into your fucking style or not. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ape (Aug 11, 2009)

snail said:


> Ape, I guess it just depends on what the individual girl is into, or even what mood she's in. I like your erotic writing style, whether I'd be into your fucking style or not.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I can do all styles darling.....with intensity and verve

Carnal pleasures in Electric Apeland

I just need a first class ticket and a generous per deem and I will bring E.A. land to you and possibly your friends (pool your resources maybe?)

I will also need one gram of pure powdered Siberian Tiger balls and a six pack of ice cold Coors Light upon arrival at my nothing less than four star hotel suite

Think it over

Talk to your friends and neighbors.....make it a group session with the Ape and I'll toss one in ya for free

:laughing::tongue::laughing:


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## ClubbedWithSpades (Mar 7, 2009)

The boy I lost my virginity to... the whole time, every time I was just thinking, "It's a good thing I like you."

Maybe I'm more inherently confident than I thought. =O


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## ape (Aug 11, 2009)

ClubbedWithSpades said:


> The boy I lost my virginity to... the whole time, every time I was just thinking, "It's a good thing I like you."
> 
> Maybe I'm more inherently confident than I thought. =O


Do you mean what you are saying (posting) and what are you not saying that you really mean?

Are you or do you want to be a diplomat or a secret agent?

How come you only "liked" the boy who popped your cherry.....why not love?

Was there ulterior motives behind the sex? Was the boy a diplomat's son? Was the boy a foreigner? Did he tell you secrets whilst pillow talking afterwards?

Did you assume mount position and dominate or did the boy dominate in a boyish style?

Do ENTJ chicks like dominating in bed or do they like to be Janed?

Are you a sexy femme fatal?


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## DevilDoll (Jul 31, 2009)

I think it is based on confidence not type. I have read things that say ISTJs are boring partners who are rather dull in bed. They stick to the conventional. This would not describe me in the least bit. 

Sex, like art, is subjective. Certain people like certain things. That's why there are so many fetishes. 

Eh, to put it simply I think it has to do with how confident you are in your self which could relate to your type, but it doesn't always. ​


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## TreeBob (Oct 11, 2008)

DevilDoll said:


> I think it is based on confidence not type. I have read things that say ISTJs are boring partners who are rather dull in bed. They stick to the conventional. This would not describe me in the least bit.
> 
> Sex, like art, is subjective. Certain people like certain things. That's why there are so many fetishes.
> 
> Eh, to put it simply I think it has to do with how confident you are in your self which could relate to your type, but it doesn't always. ​


Totally agree. The ISTJ I got with was great in bed. Certainly no stiff fish.


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## 480 (Jan 22, 2009)

I'm the world's worst in bed. I make premature seem like an endurance race.

All I can say is I'm like throwing a hotdog down a hall way.


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## Briggs (Aug 23, 2009)

Sex is sex. Chemistry is EVERYTHING..........


**Reaper...STFU!!! I read something else you said somewhere about a one night stand.....so I know that sh!t you just wrote isnt true. 

**TreeGuy, thank you for confirming what I already suspected woooooooooooooooo hooooooooooooooo


-practicing talking cooler because my 13yo told me I was not hip tonight :/ haha


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

Seriously, Grim? Poor thing. I always pictured you as the kind of savage who would drag a girl to your cave by the hair, give her the rough pounding of her life, grunt and growl a bit, and leave her begging for more after an explosive orgasm. I never would have pictured you as the hotdog down a hallway type.  *hugs*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TreeBob (Oct 11, 2008)

MyLittleBlackHeart said:


> Sex is sex. Chemistry is EVERYTHING..........
> **TreeGuy, thank you for confirming what I already suspected woooooooooooooooo hooooooooooooooo


What do you suspect, is this a good thing?


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## Briggs (Aug 23, 2009)

Yes, that is what I suspected.... I have such natural flow with most ISTJ's in general....I kinda just had a suspicion. 

**of course what is good/satifsying is in the eye of the beholder.....


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## TreeBob (Oct 11, 2008)

MyLittleBlackHeart said:


> Yes, that is what I suspected.... I have such natural flow with most ISTJ's in general....I kinda just had a suspicion.
> 
> **of course what is good/satifsying is in the eye of the beholder.....


They are even better with a bit of alcohol. The biggest thing with ISTJ is letting go and relaxing. When they tell you what they want it is sexy.


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## Briggs (Aug 23, 2009)

TreeBob said:


> They are even better with a bit of alcohol. The biggest thing with ISTJ is letting go and relaxing. When they tell you what they want it is sexy.


 
Yeah, that is one of the main things I like about them........they're very direct ways of speaking. It can be HOT in itself. 
I like when they get mad (at someone else) too:laughing: Hearing them take control.......whoa!


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## DevilDoll (Jul 31, 2009)

MyLittleBlackHeart said:


> Yeah, that is one of the main things I like about them........their very direct ways of speaking. It can be HOT in itself.
> I like when they get mad (at someone else) too:laughing: Hearing them take control.......whoa!


never

Hmmm. It is nice to see that there are a few ISTJ admirers. And, yes we do get even better with a little bit of alcohol.


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## 480 (Jan 22, 2009)

MyLittleBlackHeart said:


> **Reaper...STFU!!! I read something else you said somewhere about a one night stand.....so I know that sh!t you just wrote isnt true.


Yeah...but I think you misunderstood. I was explaining to WickedQueen that if I was number 1 on her list she'd forget about the others due to laughing so hard at me.



snail said:


> Seriously, Grim? Poor thing. I always pictured you as the kind of savage who would drag a girl to your cave by the hair, give her the rough pounding of her life, grunt and growl a bit, and leave her begging for more after an explosive orgasm. I never would have pictured you as the hotdog down a hallway type.  *hugs*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



I like your version much better. Tell me more. :tongue:


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## Briggs (Aug 23, 2009)

DevilDoll said:


> never
> 
> Hmmm. It is nice to see that there are a few ISTJ admirers. And, yes we do get even better with a little bit of alcohol.


 

*note to self....


I like their focus. If they are into you, they are into only you. From what I see anyhow. I would think INTJ's would be too, if I based it off of myself.


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## SUPERJERKASS (Aug 29, 2009)

I don't know if it has anything to do with type but i could spend my whole day with my face between some lovely thighs:tongue: i almost enjoy it more than she does...almost:blushed:


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## TreeBob (Oct 11, 2008)

DevilDoll said:


> never
> 
> Hmmm. It is nice to see that there are a few ISTJ admirers. And, yes we do get even better with a little bit of alcohol.


Why don't you come on over and have a drink with me


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## DevilDoll (Jul 31, 2009)

TreeBob said:


> Why don't you come on over and have a drink with me


Hahaha, absolutely. It's a date.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

HollyGolightly said:


> I'm an INFJ and I voted
> _Not enough experience to know, but I think I'll be pretty bad in bed._
> I think I'd send the poor guy to sleep, but hopefully not :blushed:


 Any guy who's getting any isn't going to sleep through it. I'd give you the best ride I could, even if you weren't a trained courtesan.


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## TreeBob (Oct 11, 2008)

DevilDoll said:


> Hahaha, absolutely. It's a date.


ok just change that silly little "dating" part on your profile :tongue:


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

After that, I get her. It's on the schedule. Besides, a new law makes it a legal requirement for american children to lose heir virginity by age twenty, and time is begining to run out.


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## jochris (Jul 18, 2009)

mortabunt said:


> After that, I get her. It's on the schedule. Besides, a new law makes it a legal requirement for american children to lose heir virginity by age twenty, and time is begining to run out.


What are you talking about? You're sixteen. You have four years till you're twenty - that's longer than the amount of time so far that your penis has been functioning sexually.

You can be so melodramatic.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

That's the same amount of time that my penis has been functioning sexually. I had my first masturbation at ten. My first orgasm at 11. My first cum at 12.


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## jochris (Jul 18, 2009)

Too much information, thanks.
You can be so ridiculous. You're only sixteen and you're already misogynistic and giving up.

I was seventeen when I had my first kiss. Be more patient, geez.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

Agreed, I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21, and some IN types take even longer than that. There's at least one woman on this site who is almost thirty and still a virgin, and if I had my life to live over, I'd still be one, too. Patience.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

^ Who is the virgin?


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## saslou (Sep 14, 2009)

I voted amazing .. But i am also modest :laughing:


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

mortabunt said:


> ^ Who is the virgin?


 I don't think it would be appropriate for me to say, but I assure you, she is that way by choice. Not everyone feels the need to give it up before they hit twenty. My boyfriend is twenty and still a virgin. He probably will be for a few more years at least, unless he dumps me for a horny college girl.  You're giving up on women way too early. Many of us aren't even interested in sex at your age.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

Strange, because I've apparently had sexual interests since earlier than many of my peers. I first began thinking of sex when i was eight.


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## jochris (Jul 18, 2009)

mortabunt said:


> Strange, because I've apparently had sexual interests since earlier than many of my peers. I first began thinking of sex when i was eight.


You're not getting anywhere are you for someone who apparently had an early start? Really though, the whining isn't a turn on for anyone.


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## InvisibleJim (Jun 30, 2009)

mortabunt said:


> Strange, because I've apparently had sexual interests since earlier than many of my peers. I first began thinking of sex when i was eight.


Dirty pervert much? :tongue: I guess you'll end up going through the womanopause early too.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

I'm also immensely lonely.


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## Verdant Hollow (Aug 25, 2009)

mortabunt said:


> I'm also immensely lonely.


Not having a girlfriend may not be your fault. However, being lonely is almost always the fault of the lonely person (barring neuro-issues or draconian parents). You can have emotionally intimate friendships with friends that aren't sexual. These friendships are immensely satisfying, and may alleviate some of your need for sex.

As far as sex goes, you sound pretty average (and please, no more information). I know plenty of guys who started earlier than you and lost their virginity later than you.

There's also a little club here than Queen and I are a part of, The Horny Religious Virgins Club 

You think you've got it bad? Imagine being handed the opportunity for sex on several occasions but still having to turn it down. We've also done this for way longer.

Build up a good base of close friends and a girlfriend will come around. Maybe even one that wants to have sex with you :tongue:


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

tdmg said:


> Not having a girlfriend may not be your fault. However, being lonely is almost always the fault of the lonely person (barring neuro-issues or draconian parents). You can have emotionally intimate friendships with friends that aren't sexual. These friendships are immensely satisfying, and may alleviate some of your need for sex.
> 
> As far as sex goes, you sound pretty average (and please, no more information). I know plenty of guys who started earlier than you and lost their virginity later than you.
> 
> ...


 I'm talking about psychological lonelyness. I'm not in an ivory tower, but I am very much alone. I simply can't find anyone to talk to who can sympathise with my experiences. Al I know, since as far as I can remember has been rejection and isolation.


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## Femme (Jul 12, 2009)

What is the difference between loneliness and "psychological" loneliness?


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## decided (May 17, 2009)

I believe I'm great in bed, but that's because I only have sex with someone that I'm completely in love with. Because I adore them so much I want to make them as happy as possible.

But if I tried to have sex when I wasn't in love with them I'd be rubbish. I wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy myself or feel compelled to do much of anything really.

PS - Apey, you're brilliant. Thanks for the laughs. xoxo


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

intpfemme said:


> What is the difference between loneliness and "psychological" loneliness?


I suppose loneliness is due more to outside factors....such as....there is no one around you. Psychological loneliness is probably how you feel when you are at school...and you are surrounded by hundreds of kids...but still feel alone. Just a guess.


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## InvisibleJim (Jun 30, 2009)

intpfemme said:


> What is the difference between loneliness and "psychological" loneliness?


I support this post.

Asides from that, if the polling sample is truthful I notice that there is only a 5% chance of a bad lay on this forum. 9.5/10!


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

I feel alone, even in the middle of a crowd.


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## InvisibleJim (Jun 30, 2009)

mortabunt said:


> I feel alone, even in the middle of a crowd.


So do I, unless I stop and talk to people, or take a friend with me.


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## starri (Jan 23, 2009)

InvisibleJim said:


> I support this post.
> 
> Asides from that, if the polling sample is truthful I notice that there is only a 5% chance of a bad lay on this forum. 9.5/10!


HA HA
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ape (Aug 11, 2009)

I used to have that lonlieness in a crowd emotion

I don't get lonely anymore, but at one time the lonlieness was so severe it manifested itself in my chest as a deep continuos ache that I could only soothe with beer when it became too much

Cravings and Attachments are what cause the emotions of lonlieness

Understand both Buddhist terms and you will break on through to the other side

I'm a drifter loner now

I like it a lot.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

You've just helped me overcome my hate of sensors. Thanks treebob, thanks wicked, and thanks ape. I thought it was only INF's who had this kind of problem. I've been to selfish and angry. I've been getting better since I started posting about myself and my problems on this forum. It's like the person I could never vent to.


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## Lilsnowy (Sep 9, 2009)

No, I don't think type has anything to do with confidence, but maybe it does have to do with openness, willingness to experiment, need for variety, or an extensive fantasy life that can contribute to the enjoyment of sex. Some types are bound to be more verbal, or tactile or wild. But sex is the one area you can get totally outside your norm and let loose no matter what your type!


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

I no longer just hate sensors, I hate everyone! Open Fire!


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## 480 (Jan 22, 2009)

InvisibleJim said:


> I support this post.
> 
> Asides from that, if the polling sample is truthful I notice that there is only a 5% chance of a bad lay on this forum. 9.5/10!


The few, the proud, the unendowed.


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## char1es (Aug 22, 2009)

Give it a shot mortabunt. Let's see where it lands you.


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