# Love/Hate Relationships With People Who Share Your Functions...Backward



## OakTreeSquared (Nov 21, 2011)

ESTP's for me. I find myself admiring them, and sometimes acting like them and regretting it later (shadow function?), but whenever I have to interact with them for long periods of time (like at work), I get blinded by what I label as their "cold manipulation of others to achieve their own ends." IRL I have one who is a really fun friend, and one with whom I butt heads at work, and both of them are REALLY good at what they do (entrepreneur sales), but I feel like they go about it all the wrong way (which is why I'm not in salesroud.


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## FreeSpirit (Jun 1, 2011)

I can think of an ESFP and an ISFP I get
along with at work. 

The ESFP has a HUGE personality and likes to get 
along with everyone, so he is very accepting and
entertaining. I catch myself thinking, "What are you 
doing, hanging out with me? Don't I weird you out?!"
Because I feel so rigid and warped in comparison to 
his outlook/behavior.

The ISFP is know also has that "I want to be on good
terms with people" and "I should be open minded" 
attitude, though she is much more reserved and
serious. I catch myself thinking the same thing 
about myself when in her company.

The closest person to me in my life is an ENFP
(sometimes I think he's an ESFP)- honestly, it's
hard to tell. Anyway, he makes me care about
things I would otherwise forget about. Also,
he sometimes reminds me that people aren't 
_all_ bad.

It might be useful to note I used to claim INTJ, 
and still am on the line. XNTJ would probably be 
the most appropriate type for me. :shocked:

I also get it into my head now and then that
I'm actually an F type (because I have feelings
and all, plus I am not indifferent to suffering like
it sometimes makes Ts sound) but then I hear
myself talking to people.......


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## donkeybals (Jan 13, 2011)

To the op's original post, I can definitely see that. ISFP seem okay from time to time, but arguing with them is what gets me. No offense to you cat in hoody lol. You guys can act really illogical and it's frustrating. It's like whatever you tell them they view as attack on their spirit lol. I like a lot of intj's for the most part, actually, this forum and others has really helped me to understand the intj in real life. I never used to understand them I don't think, but now I can definitely "get" the intj. They are just basically about logic, and more logic oriented. That's all really, if you want to win an argument vs them, present a sound arguement to them. However, there are no perfect types, (except for infj of course), so intj's have qualms too. At times they could be too rigid and lack the emotional side to arguements, however they are usually well aware of their weaknesses which is a strength within itself.


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## Juan M (Mar 11, 2011)

That depends of the context and the person, i have known ESFJ/ISFJ that are really goodfellas (well only in small doses), and, instead, i can find people with very bad behaviour with the same/similar cognitive functions that i can really hate, like an ENTP rapist that i know (i know it sounds like a joke, but he actually did it and doesnt feel bad about it (true story, i wasnt the victim thank god).


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

donkeybals said:


> To the op's original post, I can definitely see that. ISFP seem okay from time to time, but arguing with them is what gets me. No offense to you cat in hoody lol. You guys can act really illogical and it's frustrating. It's like whatever you tell them they view as attack on their spirit lol. I like a lot of intj's for the most part, actually, this forum and others has really helped me to understand the intj in real life. I never used to understand them I don't think, but now I can definitely "get" the intj. They are just basically about logic, and more logic oriented. That's all really, if you want to win an argument vs them, present a sound arguement to them. However, there are no perfect types, (*except for infj of course*), so intj's have qualms too. At times they could be too rigid and lack the emotional side to arguements, however they are usually well aware of their weaknesses which is a strength within itself.


*Words in bold: I hope you're joking. See: Hitler. Less steretypically psychotic appalling INFJ? How about just someone who is passive aggresive and self-congratulatory and think they do no wrong but everyone else does? That's pretty flawed.

*As for the stuff about INTJs, it doesn't even make sense for you to say that since you're an INFJ...they aren't your opposite type, so why are you talking about INTJs and not ESTPs or ISTPs?

I've actually known a thorougly decent awesome INTJ in real life. I've also known some who are bat shit crazy and narcissistic, and I strongly disagree that they are always or even _usually _ "well aware of their weaknesses." 

So if you actually have something to say about STPs being your opposite type, feel free to respond, but otherwise it just seems like you're trolling.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

Juan M said:


> That depends of the context and the person, i have known ESFJ/ISFJ that are really goodfellas (well only in small doses), and, instead, i can find people with very bad behaviour with the same/similar cognitive functions that i can really hate, like an ENTP rapist that i know (i know it sounds like a joke, but he actually did it and doesnt feel bad about it (true story, i wasnt the victim thank god).


Well yeah, sociopaths and narcissists and rapists are bad, no matter their personality type.


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## donkeybals (Jan 13, 2011)

fourtines said:


> *Words in bold: I hope you're joking. See: Hitler. Less steretypically psychotic appalling INFJ? How about just someone who is passive aggresive and self-congratulatory and think they do no wrong but everyone else does? That's pretty flawed.
> 
> *As for the stuff about INTJs, it doesn't even make sense for you to say that since you're an INFJ...they aren't your opposite type, so why are you talking about INTJs and not ESTPs or ISTPs?
> 
> ...


Ya I was (about the infj thing). Sorry. Jesus was an infj too tho, just saying.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

DarkSideOfLight said:


> This is interesting subject. I used to hate SFJs big time.
> 
> But now, I get along with them just fine, *especially with older ones*. ISFJs are great listeners. As for ESFJs when you are dominant one they start speaking your language. Recently, I was heavily attracted to a girl that I thought was ENFJ and she turned out to be ESFJ... I enjoy theirs social awareness, caring side and they seem to appreciate my abstract thinking.
> 
> ...


Yes! Older ones...for the most part. Feel that way about some NTJs too...it really depends on the individual, I really get along well with a larger number of NTJ wimmenz on-line, I don't know why, but I actually several on-line friends who are NTJ females, a couple of ENTJs who are really cool. 

It's just that ones who I do clash with I clash with REALLY BAD. 

That's why I say love/hate, and I guess it does have to do with maturity, and valuation of certain functions. It's also because sometimes I can see through INTJs, see how rational they really are NOT being sometimes, I guess I am in-tune with seeing their Fi and Se or something...I definitely can see how ENTJs are more Te dominant and INTJs are more Ni dominant, which are my weaker functions.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

donkeybals said:


> Ya I was (about the infj thing). Sorry. Jesus was an infj too tho, just saying.


So you think you're Jesus now, hmm?


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## donkeybals (Jan 13, 2011)

Yes definitely. ; )


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## Dementor (Sep 18, 2011)

I am INFJ. My brother is an ESTP. That has to be the perfect love/hate example. But mostly I love him - he is just sooooo funny and upbeat.


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## Lblanc (Nov 24, 2011)

I'm an ENFJ, and I find that it really depends on the person. I'd have to say that I prefer other NFs, for the most part, and I generally get along better with introverted types rather than fellow extraverts. 

I find other ENFJs to be irritatingly happy sometimes, and that gets very old. Conversely, ST people don't really mesh well with me, and the ISTPs that I DO know in person aren't people I'd hang around with on a regular basis.


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