# When did you discover you 'liked' women (or men or both)?



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

I've been obsessed with girls since the age of 3...probably earlier...I just can't remember before 3.

I never went through a "cooties" or "girls are gross" stage. I liked to be friendly/flirty and score points (and the occasional kiss) with the girls when I was 8-12 and the other boys were mostly just being assholes to them.

How about you? When did you discover you 'liked' women (or men or both)?


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

Early as I can remember. 

I even remember being interested in (giving) oral sex when I was very young, like 10 or 11 years old, after having seen some porn mag. I'd never thought about that before but my girlfriend, a clinical psychologist by training who specializes in kids, was amazed to learn that. 

Apparently I'm some sort of prodigy . . . or else was very damaged from an early age. Hard to say which.


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

Girls? Kindergarten probably, since I had no contact with members of the opposite sex beside extended family, and even then they were much older than I was. Careless flirting, teasing, playing, etc. We didn't get serious until later, as in high school and college. For an alien species, they're fun to keep around  We have our misunderstandings, but that only makes me want to learn more and get closer.

Guys? Just recently, really. I'm a 2 on the Kinsey Scale, but the curiosity was always there, it's just that it's been largely ignored or denied. If friends or family asked today, I'd probably lie to them. Never been in an actual relationship with one or anything, but I've had close male and female friends, and the dynamics are very different. Still daydream about it, maybe it will become reality some day.


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## Falhalterra (Apr 24, 2011)

I'm intent on being the first woman in this thread that is bi-curious.  I started getting into men around elementary school. I had a crush on a guy in third grade but never saw again. lol Around 7th/8th grade, I started to get into women sexually when I started noticing half naked girls in the locker room. I got so embarrassed and it really confused me. I'm not ashamed of it now, but I'm only sexually interested. Otherwise, I definitely don't want to date a woman.


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## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

redmanXNTP said:


> Apparently I'm some sort of prodigy . . . or else was very damaged from an early age. Hard to say which.


Own the 'prodigy' label, man...



WamphyriThrall said:


> Guys? Just recently, really. I'm a 2 on the Kinsey Scale, but the curiosity was always there, it's just that it's been largely ignored or denied. If friends or family asked today, I'd probably lie to them. Never been in an actual relationship with one or anything, but I've had close male and female friends, and the dynamics are very different. Still daydream about it, maybe it will become reality some day.


I fooled around a couple times a month with role-play and sexual activity over a two-year period (I believe age 8-10) with my best male friend (same age) in the neighborhood. It became this ridiculously exciting and naughty thing that we would do whenever left alone (usually at his house...his parents were gone more), although his dad caught us once and we skillfully played it off as something else (we were under the covers, so we bullshat our way out of it).

It was really hot...I'm somewhat embarrassed to say. But it was just 'sex' (as it was). Romantically, I've never had the capacity for feelings for a guy and have always been obsessed with girls emotionally (wanting their approval/affection) and physically. It didn't bother me but I mentioned it to my therapist in passing and apparently homosexual activity before puberty is quite common...which was a real surprise to me.

I suppose I'm a 1 on the Kinsey Scale...not sure.



Falhalterra said:


> I'm intent on being the first woman in this thread that is bi-curious.  I started getting into men around elementary school. I had a crush on a guy in third grade but never saw again. lol Around 7th/8th grade, I started to get into women sexually when I started noticing half naked girls in the locker room. I got so embarrassed and it really confused me. I'm not ashamed of it now, but I'm only sexually interested. Otherwise, I definitely don't want to date a woman.


I was the same way. I swear I was erect more than flaccid during the day, so I was terrified to be naked in the boys' locker room in junior high because I was moderately aroused by some of the naked bodies around me...I was sure I'd have a chubby and be ridiculed forever. And, yeah, it was confusing.

I'm starting to think I'm bi-curious, as well. My obsession with girls hasn't changed or reduced at all but I occasionally notice a hot guy (my definition of 'hot'...which means very feminine) and think (quite a bit) about having fun with him between the sheets for a weekend. It's a pretty arousing thought, actually.


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## Donkey D Kong (Feb 14, 2011)

Popinjay said:


> I never went through a "cooties" or "girls are gross" stage.


Jokingly, I have a "no girls allowed" sign on my door. When people ask why, I reply "because they have cooties".

Anyways, I started "liking" girls around 11 or 12.


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## Fleetfoot (May 9, 2011)

I don't really know. Visually, I've always liked boys since I was in 1st grade. I also visually like girls, but I don't get the 'I want to sexually pounce on you goddamn' feeling like I do looking at an attractive man. I'm just appreciative of beauty regardless of sex and/or gender.

Recently, boys just piss me off, and sometimes I wonder if I really like girls, but I never have had 'feelings', so I guess I don't. I find a lot of the boys I'm in contact with to be ignorant, stupid, selfish, and short tempered. It'll probably die down once they mature, since the oldest of them is 23, but I dunno. I sound bitter. 

Maybe I'm the ignorant stupid selfish and short tempered one....


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## Empress Appleia Cattius XII (Dec 22, 2010)

I started liking boys at around about 14.
I've now realised that's only 3 years ago...

I never really thought of boys as having cooties (or nits, as they're referred to over here). I was always a bit of a tomboy, and most of my friends were boys, so it was pretty weird to be taking an interest in them all of a sudden.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

I've liked boyz since I could remember, but didn't realized until I was 12


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## heartturnedtoporcelain (Apr 9, 2010)

I said asexual but I have a sex drive. And to further complicate the problem, I'm aromantic, so I've never liked anyone in the sense of a crush or whatever. Given all of that - like 10-11.


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## Zster (Mar 7, 2011)

I had two boyfriends during first grade, kissing behind the house/school with some serious hand holding. I might have crushed on a neighbor even earlier. I think that I was born already sexual, which makes it real tough to believe it when I hear lines about keeping kids innocent (no sex ed in the early years) or that sexual orientation is a choice.

Sadly, I suffered a REALLY lengthy dry spell between 1st and 11th grade. Sigh.


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## nádej (Feb 27, 2011)

I mean I chased boys around since age four or five. I'm not sure I was cognizant of why, though. Other than that I saw guy/girl couples all the time.

Then for a while, when most of my friends were getting really into boys (late elementary/early middle school), I really didn't care about them at all. I had crushes, but they were very non-sexual. I was pretty confused because I felt like everyone else had all these feelings that I didn't have. I think liking guys in a sexual way actually started at around age 14 or 15 for me, but it was very _very_ gradual. Late bloomer.


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## BlissfulDreams (Dec 25, 2009)

Changed mind about posting. Voted age 3-4.


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## SenhorFrio (Apr 29, 2010)

the first time i can remember having feelings toward a girl was in grade 3, I think i can remember having feelings for my friends maybe a year after that but i only "realized" i was Bisexual when i was 16 or 17 i think


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## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

BlissfulDreams said:


> Changed mind about posting. Voted age 3-4.


I read your previous post...I thought the bottle-cap incident was kind of romantic.


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## BlissfulDreams (Dec 25, 2009)

Haha, thanks. So did I. Too bad there's no way to tell where the heck I went camping that many years ago. I tried asking my parents and they had no clue at all.


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## birthday (Feb 6, 2011)

I can't say that I've discovered my like for any of the sexes. I'm a recovering misanthrope you see. So naturally, I am repulsed by both. But I can say this so far: I like women for their beauty (the way one appreciates a work of art) and I like men for their aggressiveness (the way one appreciates the fight for survival in a predator-prey relationship).

Take a good look at this person:



























His name is Andrej. He exemplifies characteristics of both sexes. Now that's what I like.


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## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

birthday said:


> i can't say that i've discovered my like for any of the sexes. I'm a recovering misanthrope you see. So naturally, i am repulsed by both. But i can say this so far: I like women for their beauty (the way one appreciates a work of art) and i like men for their aggressiveness (the way one appreciates the fight for survival in a predator-prey relationship).
> 
> Take a good look at this person:
> 
> ...


He's hot!!!!!!!!!


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## changos (Nov 21, 2011)

I remember kindergarden, 4-5 years old, there was this girl I "liked" but didn't really know what this meant, just felt BAD, I wanted to get near her but in such way that I couldn't deal with this (wait Im the one who has the earliest memory at 2 years old so I remember this pretty well) ok there you go, I was trying to protect myself from this feeling.

I liked her but I didn't........ because they played diff games and I felt stupid playing with them, all my friends from kindergarden were "there they come!!!" and we ran away, so they began to kiss us, they did it just because we did "yikes!!". My older sister was on the same school and saw some of this and asked me, I felt ashamed. The next year I tried to "communicate" with this strange being and felt frustrated not being able to  it was confusing. The same year I liked another girl who lived kinda close to my house, I liked her because we could communicate really well (get along) and she was peaceful.

Then I went to a men only school and kinda lost interest. Later I found myself losing my mind again toward girls at 10 years old but went crazy about their faces.

But yes I remember that early stage of "I hate them" but it wasn't hate (at least my case) it just was so frustrating trying to get a long. When I was 11 I had some nice friends (females) but could only get along with them as long as they didn't play those silly games.... including "family".


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## Mulberries (Feb 17, 2011)

I had sexual feelings from a very early age (<8), but they weren't directed at anyone in particular, more just at the act itself. It wasn't until I got to about age 12 or 13 when I had my first crush on a male that I realized I was straight. Before that I thought I might have been a lesbian because I didn't have crushes on boys like some of my friends did. The idea of liking a boy was so strange to me, even though I tried really hard to do it.


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## MyName (Oct 23, 2009)

dejavu said:


> I remember being really interested in a boy when I was in preschool. I stared at him a lot and always wanted to sit at his table. I dunno what that was, just a kind of curiosity I guess.
> 
> I fought over a boy in kindergarten. I liked him and another girl liked him, but she was more aggressive and I was easily distracted. So that was the extent of that.
> 
> It was pretty early. Nothing sexual, though. I just felt drawn to boys.


When I was in early elementary school, no one cared if other kids liked someone they did. Some kids would have 2-3 boy/girlfriends. That was just in my classes. Apparently it varies in childhood.


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## MonieJ (Nov 22, 2010)

Hm men since 6th grade

Ladies since 8th grade but to be honest I didn't acknowledge it was sexual attraction to ladies till 10th/11th grade :/.


@MyName Yeah at my elementary school boys would have like 3 ladies at a time, pimpin at a early age.


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## Mendi the ISFJ (Jul 28, 2011)

i remember having a crush every year in elementary school. so i voted as long as i can remember. My parents never joked around about "oh is he your boyfriend" like some parents i know, so there was never any pressure either way.


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## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

Mendi the ISFJ said:


> i remember having a crush every year in elementary school. so i voted as long as i can remember. My parents never joked around about "oh is he your boyfriend" like some parents i know, so there was never any pressure either way.


Me, too. I had hearts and shit around the yearbook picture of this cute girl named Jessica in kindergarten, mainly because I was copying my sister...I had no idea what the point of the hearts was, but I definitely had the hots for Jessica L.


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## JefftheValiant (Mar 2, 2010)

Girls? I've always just known I'm into women, as far back as I can remember - age 10 for sure, maybe earlier. 
I spent a couple of years in a residential treatment center (group home for kids with learning issues who skip school too much), and living in a cottage with 14 other 12-14 year old guys, there'd be shit going around all the time - so and so was gay, John Doe had the hots for/did such and such with Steve Doe, and so on. That whole scene just wasn't my thing.


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## RobynC (Jun 10, 2011)

Roughly around the time I hit puberty


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## locofoco (Apr 5, 2011)

I hadn't realized I was bisexual until I was 18, even though there were really obvious bisexual moments growing up. But I just didn't care about dating or having sex as a teenager, so I didn't care to notice those moments.  It's silly though, but while I knew I liked men (probably just because of heteronormity), my first wet dream was in middle school with a female classmate. Or in second grade I kissed my friend, who was also a girl. It baffles me how I didn't connect the dots. haha


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## Psychosmurf (Aug 22, 2010)

I've been romantically attracted to girls every since I can remember. I remember my first crush was probably around the age of 5 or so. Also my first kiss. It was only until about I was 12 that I began to notice that there was something _else_ interesting about them that I hadn't noticed before. :wink:


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## goastfarmer (Oct 20, 2010)

So... I voted that your poll was stupid, but only because none of the other answers fit. I really don't think it's stupid or anything. Just as a person who probably likes both men and women, there are different dates in which I realized I liked guys (probably never a conscious realization though), in which I liked girls, in which I admitted to myself I liked girls, and when I realized I probably like both. My story is a just a bit more complicated than what a mere poll allows.


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## Ubuntu (Jun 17, 2011)

I can remember thinking about sex and having 'crushes' when I was 7/8.


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## Runvardh (May 17, 2011)

Since I was four or five. I questioned the full spectrum between 19 and 23, but I've become fully sure I want women.


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## sonicdrink (Aug 11, 2010)

Well, I had my first crush when I was 12, 
however I knew I liked boys since I was very young (3-4),
the only problem, was that from 3-12 guys were buttheads.


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## Resolution (Feb 8, 2010)

In fifth grade, a girl sitting in front of me was wearing lace panties and it turned me on. That's the first time I remember. 

Even though some girls turned me on, I had no interest in dating any girl until I was a senior in high school. I was asked out by a pretty Junior girl (which took me completely by surprise), but she proved to be very lacking intellectually and was a very weak person. I was sad, but not entirely unsurprised, so I broke up with her. 

To date someone I want to consider them an equal, be it in intellectual ability, or in the poetry of the "deeper emotions". 

I discovered a girl online when I was a senior in high school who wrote beautiful poetry and short stories, and had an amazing mind. It was that moment, really, when i realized that* I could really love.*

Before then. . . I wasn't sure there was anyone out there I even wanted to love lol. . .


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## Valdyr (May 25, 2010)

I started self-consciously liking boys (gay male) around age 9. I went through a brief period of curiosity about girls in high school (bi-curious in the other direction), but tried dating and sex with a girl, and it wasn't for me. My attraction pattern is very solidly male-male.


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## chill.take.over (Apr 26, 2011)

I've always known I like guys, just wasn't "into" them. It always annoyed me when I saw people talking so much about boys like that was the only reason to go on. I wasn't interested in that way. I did like someone when I was in 2nd grade; didn't like anyone else for the longest time and I honestly thought I was immune to that teen love stuff (I was wrong when the time came)

Grandparents house: they had direct tv while we had one of those big satellites then. I guess I was ten and sometimes you could see 'certain movies,' or at least the first 7 minutes until you had to pay, and the most I ever saw was naked women in positions I never seen before. Naturally titillated, but beyond the times I've seen porn, women do nothing for me. I just don't want that.


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## quadrivium (Nov 6, 2011)

I've been seeking out companionship in boys for as long as I can remember. I've recently come to terms with being "demisexual." I didn't experience much of a sex drive until late teens. Just was never that interested


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## Fyrespiral (Nov 24, 2011)

Ahm... In my earliest memories, I already had crushes and tried to hold the boy's hands, but yeah. I was only /romantically/ interested. That puzzled me a lot, at age 16. I wasn't into male genitals at all. Nor did I have actual interest in women. *sigh* I started doubting, even tried, since my best female friend had a crush on me, but eventually, at age 17 I started thinking that penises weren't really that gross.
Here, at age 18, well. I'm kind of religious. And from my experiences, I gather that when it's lady-lady it's got some difficulties to it... I mean, I feel that when it's lady-gentleman things just easily find their way and it just happens naturally. I had a hard time trying to figure what to do, with a female. But that's me. 
And I'm very happy and fulfilled with my boyfriend <3


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## RandomlyChildish (Oct 15, 2011)

I've always known thar I'm into girls. but when I was young, like 5, I thought that's "normal" 
and then I slowly grow up, I don't even know what's gay, lots of people were talking about it so I went online and read an article, I was scared because I thought being gay is "not normal"
now I'm more mature and I know that I'm gay and surrounded by open-minded people I'm more open about my sexuality


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## Ladybelle (Dec 8, 2011)

I've been attracted to males from pretty early on. My first kiss was in 1st grade: I tackled him while he was playing in the football field, and, well...you know the rest 

Almost as early, signs that I liked girls started popping up too, but I rationalized or ignored them. The earliest of those signs that I can remember was when I was 8 years old, but I was nowhere near ready to know what to do with those feelings. More recently, I've started coming to terms with my bisexuality. I'd say I'm about a 2, maybe a 2.5 on the Kinsey scale.

I'm romantically and sexually attracted to both. I honestly hadn't realized that there was a difference until I read some of the replies to this post. They mostly go hand-in-hand for me. Any time they don't is an exception for that person, and not for their gender.


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## dalsgaard (Aug 14, 2010)

I think I was sexually interested in everyone at some point, but around the age of 11-12, I just sort of started to like girls. After having some sexual experiences with girls, it was only reinforced. These days I'm a 0 or 1 on the Kinsey scale, I'm straight as an arrow. I've turned down several men, because there simply wasn't anything 'there'. It's a shame, really. I dislike being monosexual, it narrows your options.


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