# Anxiety about my first job.



## perpetuallyreticent (Sep 24, 2014)

Okay, so to start this off-- I've never had a job before. I'm 20, had a kid really young and things sort of went down hill from there. Now I'm finally in a position where I've got to get a job, and it's got me full of anxiety.

I did work one day at a warehouse for a temp agency, but being there only one day made me never want to go back. My trainer was an idiot, mumbled and walked too fast for me to keep up. I had no sense of direction in this huge warehouse and felt lost. Finally, once that was over, I cried in the car when my mother came to pick me up. lmao It was an embarrassing mixture of overwhelming self doubt, insecurities and my severe lack of experience in a work or even social atmosphere. 

A big thing I'd like to mention is I'm currently working on getting my GED since due to complicated circumstances, I didn't attend Middle or High school. So I didn't get any social interaction for about 5 years (from age 10 to 15) and even when I was in school, I was incredibly shy and had a hard time socializing and didn't deal well with pressure.

Now, back to my current situation. I'm job hunting tomorrow, and I'm just wondering if anybody had any advice on what a good first job would be? Currently my options so far are-

-Restaurants (hostess/waitress)
-Movie Theater (any of the jobs, really)
-Grocery store (again, any of the jobs)

Can't really think of anything else except maybe Retail. 

Has anybody else dealt with similar anxieties about work? Or currently deal with high stress when it comes to the pressure of a job? Honestly, just the idea of people expecting things of me every day and needing to ask others for help sends me under the covers. I'm very nervous in places where I'm alone and not comfortable in yet, so all of this basically sounds like a nightmare to me.


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## yippy (May 21, 2014)

Restaurants, theatres, stores => all high stress environments. Why? Not only do you have bosses and co-workers to deal with, but you also have to take care of customers. Three groups of people you need to satisfy. 

I currently work in a cinema and it can be a high paced environment, a lot of things can happen at the same time. Sure. There are days where we have 40 customers in total, but yesterday we had 400. At one showing we had 90 people. 75% of them wanted something to eat or drink during the interval. We had 10 minutes to serve them all. We in this context = me and 1 co-worker. HIGH PACE! Really..if you are not good with controlling stress or anxiety I would advice against working in the cinema at least. And restaurants. Store => depends on what store. Could you work in a specialized store? Do you have a lot of knowledge about certain types of products or services already? Because a specialized store is less busy than, say, Wal-Mart. You also can take your time with customers, because that is actually what the customers expects! 

You know....if you are anxious about getting a job you could perhaps start a traineeship. In a traineeship your responsibilities grow over time, however you as a person grow as well because of the training you recieve. Or...to get yourself used to the idea of working and responsbility...you could do some voluntary work first for a few months.


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## perpetuallyreticent (Sep 24, 2014)

yippy said:


> Restaurants, theatres, stores => all high stress environments. Why? Not only do you have bosses and co-workers to deal with, but you also have to take care of customers. Three groups of people you need to satisfy.
> 
> I currently work in a cinema and it can be a high paced environment, a lot of things can happen at the same time. Sure. There are days where we have 40 customers in total, but yesterday we had 400. At one showing we had 90 people. 75% of them wanted something to eat or drink during the interval. We had 10 minutes to serve them all. We in this context = me and 1 co-worker. HIGH PACE! Really..if you are not good with controlling stress or anxiety I would advice against working in the cinema at least. And restaurants. Store => depends on what store. Could you work in a specialized store? Do you have a lot of knowledge about certain types of products or services already? Because a specialized store is less busy than, say, Wal-Mart. You also can take your time with customers, because that is actually what the customers expects!
> 
> You know....if you are anxious about getting a job you could perhaps start a traineeship. In a traineeship your responsibilities grow over time, however you as a person grow as well because of the training you recieve. Or...to get yourself used to the idea of working and responsibility...you could do some voluntary work first for a few months.


The thing is, it has to start off in a place that doesn't look down or turn away people for their lack of a Resume or experience. So generally what I listed off is all I can work with. I've got to start making actual money, so... yeah, a real job. 

I know there's a Farmers Market very near by that doesn't seem like the atmosphere there is all that stressful. I'm also bilingual (English/Spanish) so I know that will help me out, but that's about it.


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

any job now will do
are there many choices in your area?
and please be patient in the work environment 
do not take criticism personally since this is a new concept for you
try not to feel overwhelmed at first
if you are not sure how to do something then ask a supervisor
be warned the work force is very nosy and full of gossip
never tell anyone anything you don't want the rest of the world to know
there are a lot of trouble makers out there 
god bless and good luck


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## AriesLilith (Jan 6, 2013)

Perhaps you feel anxious because you are worrying a lot if you are able to handle things. Actually no one is born learned so you or anyone else has to learn things from scratch. It will be stressful and some bosses might be critical but don't take it personally, focus that if others can do so do you since you all had to start somewhere and deal with some initial pressure. Don't give up easily, focus on getting good at what you have to do, think of ways to succeed.

If you can take some pause like 5 mins break to the toilet then it might help on stress (well at least I did this). Again, don't take anything personal as a high stress environment can lead to stressful bosses and coworkers so they might be critical and harsh, but you focus on learning to get things done.

Also, make sure you rest well, proper sleep time and destress at home.


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## bigstupidgrin (Sep 26, 2014)

Of your suggested choices, grocery stores are a good choice (and was my favorite starter job). Customer interactions are usually friendly because you are in a position only to help, not to sell (most of the time). Don't work retail unless you're in an environment where you don't have to sell. Did I mention I didn't like selling  ?

I have anxiety about first days of work for every single job I've ever had. You don't know the exact nature of the job; you haven't mastered the job yet, you don't know the personalities of your coworkers or customers. My advice is only to bring a notepad with you, and write down anything you don't know. Just appearing willing to learn goes a long ways with people. Hopefully you find work with patient people who don't mind repeated questions.


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## perpetuallyreticent (Sep 24, 2014)

thanks @vinniebob I know my main thing will be taking the criticism from a professional point of view and not a personal one. It'll just be a bit hard mixing learning that with being under pressure and high stress... but I'll have to manage, I guess.
@AriesLilith Thanks.  Yes, one of the biggest stressors for me is my own self doubt. I don't know what I can handle, so I assume I can't handle anything and it can be really debilitating at times. 
@bigstupidgrin Yeah, grocery stores seem like my best option. I don't mind interacting with customers. My main anxiety is being thrown into a place and expected to know what to do at every moment. I get very nervous when I'm not given clear instructions on what to do, so especially if I'm not comfortable in my surroundings I won't be comfortable asking people for help. :/ And if it's a slow day, in any job, I'll feel like I'm being lazy if I only stand around and do nothing. I'll be worrying what people think of me-- way too much to be healthy. 

Ultimately I guess my biggest hurdle will be getting through my first week with any job.


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

perpetuallyreticent said:


> thanks @vinniebob I know my main thing will be taking the criticism from a professional point of view and not a personal one. It'll just be a bit hard mixing learning that with being under pressure and high stress... but I'll have to manage, I guess.
> @AriesLilith Thanks.  Yes, one of the biggest stressors for me is my own self doubt. I don't know what I can handle, so I assume I can't handle anything and it can be really debilitating at times.
> @bigstupidgrin Yeah, grocery stores seem like my best option. I don't mind interacting with customers. My main anxiety is being thrown into a place and expected to know what to do at every moment. I get very nervous when I'm not given clear instructions on what to do, so especially if I'm not comfortable in my surroundings I won't be comfortable asking people for help. :/ And if it's a slow day, in any job, I'll feel like I'm being lazy if I only stand around and do nothing. I'll be worrying what people think of me-- way too much to be healthy.
> 
> Ultimately I guess my biggest hurdle will be getting through my first week with any job.


you'll do good
remember, do it for your child it will be difficult at first


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## tangosthenes (Oct 29, 2011)

perpetuallyreticent said:


> thanks @_vinniebob_ I know my main thing will be taking the criticism from a professional point of view and not a personal one. It'll just be a bit hard mixing learning that with being under pressure and high stress... but I'll have to manage, I guess.
> @_AriesLilith_ Thanks.  Yes, one of the biggest stressors for me is my own self doubt. I don't know what I can handle, so I assume I can't handle anything and it can be really debilitating at times.
> @_bigstupidgrin_ Yeah, grocery stores seem like my best option. I don't mind interacting with customers. My main anxiety is being thrown into a place and expected to know what to do at every moment. I get very nervous when I'm not given clear instructions on what to do, so especially if I'm not comfortable in my surroundings I won't be comfortable asking people for help. :/ And if it's a slow day, in any job, I'll feel like I'm being lazy if I only stand around and do nothing. I'll be worrying what people think of me-- way too much to be healthy.
> 
> Ultimately I guess my biggest hurdle will be getting through my first week with any job.


Most companies in the industries you listed will tell you pretty explicitly what to do. They really want to make sure you don't fuck up, because of the chain of command. It sounds like at first, you need a routine job to get a feel of a place. 

Then consider taking your experience at this low-paying job(sorry, you're going to have to take a low paying job considering your education and lack of experience, probably this aspect of the job will be more stressful than anything) and either moving up in the company if you think you can, or after a few months, looking for a higher paying job. 

At this stage, changing jobs a lot isn't going to matter in regards to employers looking at your resume, just try to curtail it once you find a job you can support yourself completely with.


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## yippy (May 21, 2014)

perpetuallyreticent said:


> The thing is, it has to start off in a place that doesn't look down or turn away people for their lack of a Resume or experience. So generally what I listed off is all I can work with. I've got to start making actual money, so... yeah, a real job.
> 
> I know there's a Farmers Market very near by that doesn't seem like the atmosphere there is all that stressful. I'm also bilingual (English/Spanish) so I know that will help me out, but that's about it.


The Farmers Market seems like a good place to start! I worked in a supermarket for 7 years. It was an average sized supermarket, for Dutch standards that is. I was mainly focused on filling the shelves and some cashier work. 99% of the customers were friendly people who didn't made a fuzz. In all my years there I think I had 3 or 4 people who were really difficult, but since I wasn't manager and I couldn't help them they stopped complaining pretty quickly. What is important for you is that the work is easy to learn and you have little responsibility, but given time you could rise through the ranks in the store you work in. Who knows. Perhaps you will be managing the store in 5 years time.


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## perpetuallyreticent (Sep 24, 2014)

I'm going in about an hour or so to send out applications. Fingers crossed. :blushed:


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## yippy (May 21, 2014)

perpetuallyreticent said:


> I'm going in about an hour or so to send out applications. Fingers crossed. :blushed:


*crosses fingers*


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## perpetuallyreticent (Sep 24, 2014)

I've got a job interview tomorrow. Booyah.


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## perpetuallyreticent (Sep 24, 2014)

I. am. employed.


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## StranGaaa Danjjja (Jan 6, 2015)

congrats

now remmeber jobs fucking suck

go back get your education 

it will help even if its just on paper...............


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## perpetuallyreticent (Sep 24, 2014)

Rob Qlarkie said:


> congrats
> 
> now remmeber jobs fucking suck
> 
> ...


Definitely. lol


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