# Is it really that hard for the single man?



## slowriot (Nov 11, 2008)

It's true: all the taken men are best - life - 17 August 2009 - New Scientist

I think that it might be best if me and some female friend had like a platonic relationship that looks like a relationship.

So do you think the article is true?


----------



## Spooky (Oct 30, 2008)

It's true. That's why pickup artists suggest using a female pawn when going to a bar/club or social gathering with the intent of ditching her and finding one you're actually interested in.

_*PAWN*

Using a woman who the Pick Up Artist is not interested in as social proof to attract other women, or a woman used in such a manner.

Enhanced social proof. A PAWN can be any woman in any situation, doesn't have to be a friend or acquaintance of yours, and can be created on-the-fly. On-the-fly PAWNs are best for building up social proof literally out of thin air, snowballing into more PAWN opportunities and further enhancing your status in the eyes of any potential targets (even ones you have not seen yet). PAWNS can be unwitting participants or completely willing to help your game._


----------



## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

If I see a man who is already with a woman, I consider him off-limits, and if he ditches her to seek out other women, I assume he's a player who would just as easily ditch me the moment someone new caught his eye.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mikbert (Jul 19, 2009)

Good god, this actually works?!

My female friend always says that she wants to dance with me and stuff like that in the club to make me a more attractive to other females, I thought that was ridiculous because if I saw a woman allready together with another man that would make her less attractive to me, and I thought there that it didn't make sense...

Weird stuff...


----------



## jochris (Jul 18, 2009)

I suppose this greatly applies if you:

1. Like the chase.
2. Are very doubtful of people and think certain people are single because there's something wrong with them.


----------



## Spooky (Oct 30, 2008)

Mikbert said:


> Good god, this actually works?!
> 
> My female friend always says that she wants to dance with me and stuff like that in the club to make me a more attractive to other females, I thought that was ridiculous because if I saw a woman allready together with another man that would make her less attractive to me, and I thought there that it didn't make sense...
> 
> Weird stuff...


Me too. If a woman is already in a relationship with someone, I usually don't waste my time.


----------



## imru2 (Jun 20, 2009)

It's interesting to note another strategy that works, albehit on a more subtle way. If a man is wearing a wedding ring, a lot more women end up flirting and wanting to get with him. 

I can't understand why a woman would want to pull a potential mate away from their current partner, but I suppose there are people out there that simple either love the game, the chase, or enjoy competition in whatever form.

For me, if I see that someone is taken, or seriously flirting with someone else, I don't even bother.


----------



## Kokos (Dec 28, 2008)

Yeah that's a way to make her think that you prefer her to someone else, but that there is also a danger because the other person is present, that build up a challenging situation for her which put you in the position of the "thing to get" rather than the "candidate". And also there is a sort of "security" in terms of quality if other women were interested in you before even if it's not apparent that you are an interesting guy, but she'll want to know what it was (being mysterious), although those qualities may very well don't exist.

The idea is not to appear committed (because that would scare the more moralist and unsure of themselves women), but rather appear to be courted (and open).
Appear impossible to get but create the opportunities for her, and make her think that she create them herself only with her charms; when it is actually very clear in your head that you are after her from the start.

Narcissism and social proof; And it works damn well... it's all marketing :tongue:. And everyone is sensible to that, admitted it or not. You put yourself aside and concentrate yourself on what people are looking for.


Like i always say, the best way to make someone do what you want is not to make them trust you, but make them understand that *you *trust them. The positions are reversed. Think of such things as comforting someone in her abilities to seduce the impossible (What is any sexual symbol in the celebrity press, a thing that everyone want) and glorifying herself for that. (so kids be careful of manipulators and especially of your own ego and ambition haha)

Also watch the devil's advocate, and put all the symbolic religious stuff aside if you are not into it 










But personally i have too much integrity to use stuff like that .... (or is it also narcissism ???! hahaaa) :tongue:


----------



## INFpharmacist (Aug 7, 2009)

It grosses me out whenever I think of a man who is with another woman. It's almost like... the fact that he's with _her_ is repulsive. Yuck! (Perhaps that just means that I'm conceited and tend to think that I'm better than her, so that makes his gross.)

Maybe I just have a lot of male tendencies and don't feel or act the same as other women. I find women attractive, too, in a beautiful sort of way, so maybe that's just another point to make a case. Idk..


----------



## TreeBob (Oct 11, 2008)

INFPharmacist said:


> It grosses me out whenever I think of a man who is with another woman. It's almost like... the fact that he's with _her_ is repulsive. Yuck! (Perhaps that just means that I'm conceited and tend to think that I'm better than her, so that makes his gross.)
> 
> Maybe I just have a lot of male tendencies and don't feel or act the same as other women. I find women attractive, too, in a beautiful sort of way, so maybe that's just another point to make a case. Idk..


I have no idea what you meant to say there. 


I found this article a bit eye opening. Have any of there men on this board ever heard your friends comment that it seems as though more women hit on them when they finally get a girlfriend? Like it seems to take awhile to get hooked up and then all of a sudden a bunch of people start flirting. Now we know why :happy:


----------



## INFpharmacist (Aug 7, 2009)

TreeBob said:


> I have no idea what you meant to say there.


I know. It's bizarre. I see the sexuality and value of people in a different way, I guess.

In other words, perhaps... I like people for who they are, not who they're with, be it male or female, and I'm repulsed by thinking of the "other woman", because I usually feel like she's "lesser" than me (but this is not necessarily the case if the woman, herself, is beautiful). I've never been impressed with the "other woman", coincidentally.

Any better this post...? 

ETA: I guess I judge the man by the woman that he's with, and unfortunately for the guys who use some kind of female "pawn" (whether genuine or for scouting purposes), they've always lost... because I'm never been impressed by her.

I always end up dating guys who are not associated with other females... Although, I still find other females attractive.

*sigh* LOL! It's hard to explain...

ETA: Does this sound like I'm an "alpha female" or what??? LOL! Idk...

ETA: I don't like men who are with gross women... AND I like beautiful women...


----------



## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

I guess it kind of explains why the popular jerks were the ones who got all of the attention in high school. Being popular makes you more popular, as though social validation were an infectious disease that exists only to spread itself. Since the qualities I consider attractive are so uncommon, seeing that another girl is capable of desiring the man doesn't necessarily indicate that he will have any of the qualities I value. Maybe that's why I'm immune to it.


----------



## Kokos (Dec 28, 2008)

snail said:


> Being popular makes you more popular, as though social validation were an infectious disease that exists only to spread itself.


Nah that's not a disease, that's how human societies work; and it would be unwise to not take it into account.

Just take a look at those forums :tongue:


----------



## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

So, I have to already have a girl to get a girl? SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## slowriot (Nov 11, 2008)

Find someone with whom you can have a deep connection with, to find someone shallow, is that what we can learn from this?


----------



## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

It's like needing job experience in order to get job experience. You can only prove you'll be successful if you have some kind of proof that you have already succeeded, but if that were really true, the ability to attract and ditch women is not evidence of actual success. Having had a long-term committed relationship that didn't end or go horribly wrong would be the evidence of success. That means it would be better to seek out old widowers who already have work experience as devoted husbands instead of looking for sleazy players who only know how to attract women instead of knowing what it takes to keep one.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Harley (Jul 5, 2009)

One of the reasons why I'm not interested in persons already taken is because I like the idea of having something (err...I mean someone) that nobody else has, like discovering a new trend or underground band.
I mean, who wants sloppy seconds?


----------



## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

I'm delighted that my boyfriend is a virgin that other girls don't usually notice. All mine! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

slowriot said:


> Find someone with whom you can have a deep connection with.


That's impossible. I'm the only N that I know about. Everyone else is either very guardian and closed-minded. Or they are Artisan and douchey. I've been fucked by the long dick of chance.


----------



## Bastable (Mar 25, 2009)

mortabunt said:


> So, I have to already have a girl to get a girl? SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


lol, my sentiments exactly


----------



## Amir (Aug 2, 2009)

INFPharmacist said:


> I know. It's bizarre. I see the sexuality and value of people in a different way, I guess.
> 
> In other words, perhaps... I like people for who they are, not who they're with, be it male or female, and I'm repulsed by thinking of the "other woman", because I usually feel like she's "lesser" than me (but this is not necessarily the case if the woman, herself, is beautiful). I've never been impressed with the "other woman", coincidentally.
> 
> ...


I gotta say... this confused me even more....I'm hearing that you like guys who are with hot girls that you are attracted to. I think that makes you bi. :shocked: Hey that's cool, hon. Your BF must be a lucky dude.


----------



## Sunless (Jul 30, 2009)

To everybody in the thread: its not a conscious logical decision, or a decision derived from contrasting with a deep rooted set of values. Its instincts. Its not logical and its not carefully measured. Most of us girls work like that even if we cant accept it consciously.

These scientists tested 150 subjects, and 90 percent of the girls would go for the taken man. So i dont think all of us fall within the 10 percent.

I have been a _pawn_ (also called _pivots_) to help my friends boost their chances of getting the girl they want to date. It works (with great NF girls too)


----------



## INFpharmacist (Aug 7, 2009)

Amir said:


> I gotta say... this confused me even more....I'm hearing that you like guys who are with hot girls that you are attracted to. I think that makes you bi. :shocked: Hey that's cool, hon. Your BF must be a lucky dude.


:laughing: LOL! It's just attraction, sweetheart.

I find both sexes attractive, but I'm not bisexual. I want a man...

(The point of the thread, as I see it, is "How to be a chick magnet?", which is sexual/social attraction. So, I brought up what attracts me. :blushed: 
Oh geez... the all-telling INFP.:tongue


----------



## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

^ soi soi soi soi!


----------

