# (all types) would you seriously date someone knowing they couldnt have children?



## tooboku (Jun 9, 2010)

On a first date, it's a little too premature to make a call on that. I'm not going to lie, I've always wanted to adopt at least one child regardless but having my own children is important to me being the last male of my clan and all the expectations everyone has from me. I would definitely not count her out right away, if she's it then she's it, but it is something I would like to avoid if possible. I would rather take challenges as they come. I've engineered so much of my life already.


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## Ephemerald (Aug 27, 2011)

Well it did say "seriously date" in the title, and I interpret that with a level of commitment (if not entering engagement), so I think you're safe. I suspect it'd be somewhat disconcerting for someone wanting biological children, and that's okay. One usually possesses a pretty good indication of their partner's feelings about children by the "serious" stage, and I feel if a relationship is to continue, such a topic needs to be expressed or it's unfair to your love. Otherwise, if it's just to keep options open or have the status of a fertile partner, I don't know--that comes across somewhat shallow.


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## Hokahey (Oct 8, 2010)

I'm interested in kids, but it wouldn't hold me back from dating someone. There are other methods to experiencing kids.


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## lanausee (Mar 20, 2011)

Yes, because marriage sucks and children smell and shit their pants so I would never think about the situation OP mentioned.


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## twoofthree (Aug 6, 2011)

Ephemerald said:


> Well it did say "seriously date" in the title, and I interpret that with a level of commitment (if not entering engagement), so I think you're safe. I suspect it'd be somewhat disconcerting for someone wanting biological children, and that's okay. One usually possesses a pretty good indication of their partner's feelings about children by the "serious" stage, and I feel if a relationship is to continue, such a topic needs to be expressed or it's unfair to your love. Otherwise, if it's just to keep options open or have the status of a fertile partner, I don't know--that comes across somewhat shallow.


I'd want to know before we got to the serious stage. By that time I've invested emotionally in something that will require one of us to change our minds or abandon a desire.
It's a deal breaker. . .


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## Ephemerald (Aug 27, 2011)

I agree. Friendship and casual dates are the place to weave in those important questions.

Waiting until you're serious (and committed) to drop a sine qua non is unacceptable.


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## whist (Apr 16, 2011)

I'd be kind of weirded out since that's a huge thing to drop on to a person on a first date - like they are hoping to marry you at some point in the future. Uhhh.

Anyway, yeah I wouldn't care. Kids aren't really part of my life plan. I'd be more worried if he wanted to have lots of kids... @[email protected]


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## Napoleptic (Oct 29, 2010)

Mendi the ISFJ said:


> Im a little surprised at how many people want to or are willing to adopt.


Why would people be unwilling to adopt?

Also, couples have lots of other options beyond adoption - surrogate mothers, contributing to or withdrawing from sperm/egg banks, fostering, hosting an exchange student, sponsoring a child via programs like World Vision, volunteering for Big Brothers Big Sisters, mentoring, becoming a teacher, running a daycare, having your nieces and nephews over and letting the parents have some time off while you spend time with their kids.

All depends on why you would want to have kids.


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## Mendi the ISFJ (Jul 28, 2011)

twoofthree said:


> I'd want to know before we got to the serious stage. By that time I've invested emotionally in something that will require one of us to change our minds or abandon a desire.
> It's a deal breaker. . .


yes i find that it does make a difference long term and i find that if things arent going to work out in the long run its not worth the emotional attachment (which always accompanies my relationships) and its better to end things peacefully and prematurely.


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## Mendi the ISFJ (Jul 28, 2011)

This thread also leads to the question: Would you as a woman who has not been able to have children date a man who wants children? Or would u end things early to give them the ability to experience children of their own?


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## Mendi the ISFJ (Jul 28, 2011)

Napoleptic said:


> Why would people be unwilling to adopt?
> 
> Also, couples have lots of other options beyond adoption - surrogate mothers, contributing to or withdrawing from sperm/egg banks, fostering, hosting an exchange student, sponsoring a child via programs like World Vision, volunteering for Big Brothers Big Sisters, mentoring, becoming a teacher, running a daycare, having your nieces and nephews over and letting the parents have some time off while you spend time with their kids.
> 
> All depends on why you would want to have kids.


some people feel that they can only get the emotional bond with a child if its their own blood. And we can discuss opinions on this but it really doesnt matter, if thats how they feel, it wont change. 

Others may determine that adoption is too long or expensive of a process. 

Many times parents of adopted children dont get maternity leave. 

Adoption can cost $5000 and up depending on where you are adopting from. 

There is interference from agencies determining if you are a fitting parent where when you have your own kids no one interferes until they are aware of a problem. 

Also you have to decide whether or not to tell the kid that they have a birth parent who you may not want them to meet, or whom they may never meet... or to essentially lie to them for a big chunk of their lifetime. 

Then there is the good chance that the child was taken from the parent illegally or that the birth parent could change their mind and you may lose your child. 

These are just some of the reasons that people may choose not to adopt. 

Surrogates and Invitro are all very expensive procedures and nothing is sure.


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## Kainita (Aug 31, 2011)

It wouldn't be a problem. There are a lot of couples who are unable to have children for one reason or another. Fortunately for those people there are plenty of fertile men and women willing to have children they don't want. The need for parents at orphanages is high and if it children was something we would want later on in our relationship I would have no problem with that route... considering two of my sisters are adopted and we get along fantastically.


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## athenasgriffin (Jul 15, 2011)

Oh, yes. I don't ever want children, and birth control is so pesky. . .


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## Zster (Mar 7, 2011)

It would be a huge PLUS in my book b eacuse I would not have to go back on birth control! I've already had what kids I want (do NOT want more).

In my 20s, I would have loved to marry a guy who could not have kids as I did not want any. However, I married a guy who could, but agreed to not wanting any, like me, only to have him change his mind later. Sigh.


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

I'm done having kids from scratch, although I'm fine with helping raise someone else's current kids if we get married.


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## Modifier (Aug 17, 2011)

No why lie


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## Tofu99 (Jul 22, 2011)

Yep, I'm not interested in having children.


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## Luke (Oct 17, 2010)

I would like to. But I'm not sure if it would be the right decision, because sometime along the track I may decide that I want to have children and that wouldn't be fair on the other person.


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## cricket (Jan 10, 2011)

Yep. I plan on adopting anyway.


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## Brian1 (May 7, 2011)

Yes, I would seriously date them, because that means more attention would be placed on me and my needs,not that I wouldn't put attention on her needs, but I'm mildly disabled, I'm best at being an uncle rather than a father.


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## naoms (Aug 2, 2011)

Of course I would.


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## Inari (Aug 30, 2011)

I wonder, if your partner were totally sterile but you were not, and you both decided that you wanted to have kids--would you specifically decide to adopt? Or would you look into artificial insemination/surrogacy for the partner who is still plenty fertile?


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## Mendi the ISFJ (Jul 28, 2011)

Inari said:


> I wonder, if your partner were totally sterile but you were not, and you both decided that you wanted to have kids--would you specifically decide to adopt? Or would you look into artificial insemination/surrogacy for the partner who is still plenty fertile?


we tried invitro but it didnt work and then the insurance changed and it was no longer covered, i dont think i want children at this point i think the time for starting a family has passed.


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## mockingbird girl (Apr 26, 2011)

It would be a bonus.


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## Valdyr (May 25, 2010)

Yes, considering I've dated the same sex.


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## ficsci (May 4, 2011)

Yes

Can always have other forms of "children" to leave your mark in the world, which I admit is natural and necessary because everyone has death anxiety


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## Stephen (Jan 17, 2011)

Mendi the ISFJ said:


> the person tells you on the first date they cannot have children, would you seriously (meaning date heading towards marriage) date them?


Yes. I already have a child and don't plan to have another. If we decided otherwise, adoption is always an option.


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## Master Mind (Aug 15, 2011)

I don't see what that would have to do with whether or not I would date them. And as screwed up as the world is, the best thing I could do is not help bring an innocent child into it (who has no choice in the matter), anyway.


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## Up and Away (Mar 5, 2011)

couldnt yes

wouldnt, maybe, not that i need to have kids, just weird when someone is so sure of their material goals


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## twoofthree (Aug 6, 2011)

Souled In said:


> couldnt yes
> 
> wouldnt, maybe, not that i need to have kids, just weird when someone is so sure of their material goals


Isn't it better to be sure - one way or the other?

I'd be wary of someone who wasn't sure.


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

twoofthree said:


> Isn't it better to be sure - one way or the other?
> 
> I'd be wary of someone who wasn't sure.


Premature certainty will only deny a ton of experiences.

It'd be important to see the decision(s) in correlation to age and the individual's maturity.


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## twoofthree (Aug 6, 2011)

Erbse said:


> Premature certainty will only deny a ton of experiences.


hmmmmmmmmm. how so?


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

twoofthree said:


> hmmmmmmmmm. how so?


Most certainly because one (hopefully) steadily evolves. Perspectives typically shift accordingly.

If a 20 year old says (s)he *certainly* wouldn't want any children in their lives I'd probably not take it serious, simply because chances are I understand human nature better than that. That isn't to say the person in question wouldn't want any children in the here and now, but the here and now is no indication of future desires, as every here and now finds itself in different circumstances, however slightly they may have changed.

Of course I'm not advocating to get children for the sake of making the experience of having some, as getting rid of them can be quite troublesome, but it's a generally healthy principle to live by in regards to the more trivial matters we decline on a daily basis without ever having given it a fair chance and experience it first hand.


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## twoofthree (Aug 6, 2011)

Erbse said:


> Most certainly because one (hopefully) steadily evolves. Perspectives typically shift accordingly.
> 
> If a 20 year old says (s)he *certainly* wouldn't want any children in their lives I'd probably not take it serious, simply because chances are I understand human nature better than that. That isn't to say the person in question wouldn't want any children in the here and now, but the here and now is no indication of future desires, as every here and now finds itself in different circumstances, however slightly they may have changed.
> 
> Of course I'm not advocating to get children for the sake of making the experience of having some, as getting rid of them can be quite troublesome, but it's a generally healthy principle to live by in regards to the more trivial matters we decline on a daily basis without ever having given it a fair chance and experience it first hand.


What if they say they certainly want children. . . I would want to know about that certainty, as it would certainly end any interest I had in them as a potential partner.


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## Up and Away (Mar 5, 2011)

twoofthree said:


> Isn't it better to be sure - one way or the other?
> 
> I'd be wary of someone who wasn't sure.


well i mean i guess its good to be secure in our goals, but if they are just material not spiritual goals, i think they should be a little less secure. Family is like the highest material goal there is though so its all gooooood

.66 repeating by the way.


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

twoofthree said:


> What if they say they certainly want children. . . I would want to know about that certainty, as it would certainly end any interest I had in them as a potential partner.


Then it's as much of a statement based on current views and opinions. If that is a red flag for you however, so it may be then. Nothing wrong with that at all.


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## Mendi the ISFJ (Jul 28, 2011)

Erbse;1655911Of course I'm not advocating to get children for the sake of making the experience of having some said:


> .....ha ha


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## 69waystolove (Jun 5, 2011)

Sure would! Yes I want a kid but honestly adoption is an option or not haing one at all. It makes no difference.


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## Queen of Refuse (Aug 5, 2011)

I don't want kids, so I hope to find someone who doesn't as well. I also don't really want to get married either though. 

It would kind of suck to find someone who is amazing in all other aspects but wants kids; though I'd have to question his reasons. If it's for certain reasons that really don't comply with my values, then he probably would not be a good fit in general regarding many other beliefs.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

Absolutely; I don't want children anyway.


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## Shemp (Mar 29, 2011)

Why not? There's always adoption if we decide to have a child.


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## ProfessorLiver (Mar 19, 2011)

Yerpperoni


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## Pseudowho (Jun 18, 2011)

Honestly, I think I might struggle. I would find it particularly agonising if I truly loved this person, because being a mother has always been my deepest wish, and mothering mine and my partner's biological child would mean the world to me. I would be able to manage if this person was happy with me receiving a sperm donation, and raising the child as his own, as if the child is biologically BOTH of ours.

However, having had this dream since...well...ever, I may struggle to change; I may not be able to accept that I couldn't bear my partner's child. I may suffer bouts of depression as a result. I'm not a naturally depressive person, but children with my partner means so much to me, that if anything pushed me over the edge, not having that would be it!

I can imagine this answer may not be very popular. I can't help that the thought of not having children with my partner makes me feel empty, and heartbroken.

So I suppose as a final answer...I could date someone, and marry someone, and stay with someone who couldn't have children. But if I would be as happy as I could have been as a result...well, that's questionable :sad:


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## NT the DC (May 31, 2012)

Mendi the ISFJ said:


> the person tells you on the first date they cannot have children, would you seriously (meaning date heading towards marriage) date them?


Yep, I mean I think I want children but if a woman is attractive enough to me that come be overcome.


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## knittigan (Sep 2, 2011)

This would make absolutely no difference to me.


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

Absolutely.


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## StElmosDream (May 26, 2012)

Pseudowho said:


> Honestly, I think I might struggle. I would find it particularly agonising if I truly loved this person, because being a mother has always been my deepest wish, and mothering mine and my partner's biological child would mean the world to me. I would be able to manage if this person was happy with me receiving a sperm donation, and raising the child as his own, as if the child is biologically BOTH of ours.
> 
> However, having had this dream since...well...ever, I may struggle to change; I may not be able to accept that I couldn't bear my partner's child. I may suffer bouts of depression as a result. I'm not a naturally depressive person, but children with my partner means so much to me, that if anything pushed me over the edge, not having that would be it!
> 
> ...


My answer would be similar but all the more complex when surrogacy is so expensive and adoption is very difficult to achieve, yet somehow seen as a bit creepy to hear about broody men who feel a real need to discover if are capable of producing children (I really have no idea how one would even broach the subject of 'babies, bottle feeds, stretch marks and how many - 2 sounds ideal one day, what about you 'miss baby maker'?).


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## MrMagpie (Aug 22, 2012)

As a 25 year old virgin woman, I plan on having myself sterilized - so, contrary to the implication of this thread, which is that *naturally* anyone looking for marriage would also want to have children, I personally would refuse to date someone who *did* want children, adopted or biological.


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## bromide (Nov 28, 2011)

Similar to what @_MrMagpie_ said, I don't want kids at all, not biological, adopted or step kids. I wouldn't pursue a relationship with someone who wanted them or already had them, no matter how awesome they were.

tl;dr version: see avatar


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## MrMagpie (Aug 22, 2012)

bromide said:


> Similar to what @_MrMagpie_ said, I don't want kids at all, not biological, adopted or step kids. I wouldn't pursue a relationship with someone who wanted them or already had them, no matter how awesome they were.
> 
> tl;dr version: see avatar



Precisely. If Mr. Right or Ms. Right comes along, and they want children or already have them - then they weren't my Mr. Right or Ms. Right after all.


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## Laney (Feb 20, 2012)

Maybe. I would real like to have another child, and one could bear and nurse myself, but id overlook it for the right person.


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## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

I am not looking to have children until way further down the road. So... putting myself in a hypothetical situation if I was at a point in my life where I did want children. Yes. I would absolutely not let that stop me from dating someone. Like someone else mentioned, adoption is always an option, and even beyond that I wouldn't put black and white criteria like on someone if I was falling in love with them.


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## cosmia (Jan 9, 2011)

Yes. Yes, a million times yes. It would be a relief, because I can't have kids myself. We would have that in common and I wouldn't ever have to worry that I was depriving my partner of something he could have elsewhere. Besides, I don't even know if I want kids, so even if I could make them, it still wouldn't matter and the answer would still be yes. Adoption is beautiful.

I could reverse the question - Would I seriously date somebody knowing they wanted biological children? Honestly, I don't think I could do it. I would probably just be honest with them from the start, tell them they're not going to get that with me (well, the chance is ... minuscule) and see what happens. If it starts to be something that weighs on our relationship, it would have to end. I don't ever want to feel guilty about or ashamed of my infertility. I think it's great some people really want to be parents, but if that desire outweighed his love for me, it obviously wouldn't work out.


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## Porridgepudge (Sep 27, 2012)

Yeah, I would. I might think of having children someday but I have no issues with adopting.


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## Michael Nihil (Sep 21, 2012)

Mendi the ISFJ said:


> the person tells you on the first date they cannot have children, would you seriously (meaning date heading towards marriage) date them?


Yes. I don't want children. I'm not interested in marriage either, but I'd go through with it to satisfy my partner if they so wished to have a marriage.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

I'd like to have one biological child and, at least, one adopted child. If someone couldn't have a child, I wouldn't really care. If they didn't want to have a child, that'd be a problem. Though, it wouldn't be an instant deal breaker. However, I don't see myself making a long term commitment with a person who didn't want children at all, biological or adopted.


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## Kozokana (Oct 7, 2012)

It could be a little disheartening at first, but should be no problem. If we were truly in love this would obviously not ruin everything, and if both of us wanted a kid we could just adopt


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## Morpheus83 (Oct 17, 2008)

Doesn't apply to me because I'm a gay dude  And no -- I'm not really into artificial insemination. If I really wanted to 'have' a child in the future, I'd rather consider adoption; there are far too many lost/abandoned children these days who are already in need of a good home.


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## StaceofBass (Jul 1, 2012)

I would like to have children someday, but there's always options available (adoption, sperm banks, etc) so yes I would.


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

If i knew without a doubt that children were part of my future and it was made clear to me that my date didn't want children, i would never invest myself emotionally with this person. It was important to me that this kind of discussion was talked about in the open very early on in my relationship, especially once i felt a strong attraction. It would have been a deal breaker if his answer was no.


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## KateMarie999 (Dec 20, 2011)

I have no idea whether or not my boyfriend or I can have children. I would want to get it tested before marriage if we end up getting married. If I found out one of us couldn't, that wouldn't be a deal breaker at all. I love adoption and I would be very willing to adopt when we decide we want children.


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## da_gobbo (Feb 26, 2012)

don't want any kids (own or adopted) so far form a negative i'd see this as a positive


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## Laney (Feb 20, 2012)

I'm really surprised by the amount of people that don't want kids or marriage. I must be the lone breeder.


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## aconite (Mar 26, 2012)

I don't want kids, so that's not a problem.


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## firedell (Aug 5, 2009)

I'm not 100% sure, but if it turned out someone I was in a relationship with couldn't have children and I loved them... then I think I could live with it, and adopt. There are other methods.


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## Particulate (Sep 21, 2012)

I have before and I'd do it again.


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## GweNdZ (Oct 11, 2012)

yes, since I don't want kids...


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## Persephone (Nov 14, 2009)

I think adoption is the nobler choice.


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

Laney said:


> I'm really surprised by the amount of people that don't want kids or marriage. I must be the lone breeder.


No you're not. I just think people generally speaking understand that often times it's an instinctive urge to want children, but not something that they really want when given a significant amount of thought. and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. It's admirable. as is the desire to want to be a good parent.


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## milti (Feb 8, 2012)

I can't carry or give birth to a kid of my own because of heart defects. But if I ever want children I will readily consider adoption. My ex boyfriend and I had a few issues over why we broke up, and though the child thing wasn't the main one, it definitely featured in the list. :crying: I just don't understand why adoption is not a viable option for people. The world has too many people in it already. I would love to give a child a home and a happy life.

In my culture we have arranged marriages, and no-kids is an immediate and total deal breaker. My potential in laws would make my life miserable. :dry: I'm never going to be able to find someone that way. :tongue:


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## Diphenhydramine (Apr 9, 2010)

So long as they were ok with artificial insemination; sorry, I have a very strong desire to continue my bloodline. It's really one of the main things I want to do with my life.


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## Feral (Jun 2, 2011)

I have no problems whatsoever with dating someone that can't have kids. No interest in having kids of my own so it would be just peachy.


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## vikingbitch (Jul 17, 2012)

Yes. Without second thought. Children are not exactly a priority for me to begin with. If I loved the person enough, the fact that they couldn't have children wouldn't matter to me at all. If we did decide we wanted kids, I don't see anything wrong with adopting. I kind of want to adopt no matter what anyhow. I feel as if there are enough people in this world and plenty of unwanted children who deserve a good home.


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## BlissfulDreams (Dec 25, 2009)

I would be fine dating someone who couldn't have children. I'm not so sure that I want them myself with all of the crap that kids go through these days. I went through my fair share of it and came out with bruises and scars. I somehow survived, but I wouldn't wish that upon anyone. I also struggle with mental illness, so I am very afraid of passing that on to any potential children. If there's anything worse than going through all of this yourself, it's seeing someone you love dearly have to go through the same thing and being almost helpless to do anything about it. I'm not sure that I could bring a child into the world knowing that.

Honestly, the only thing that would make me reconsider having children would be if my partner REALLY wanted kids and I knew I could count on him to be an awesome dad. I wouldn't want to take that experience away from him. But if he couldn't have children, I don't have much self-motivation for them and there is always adoption. There are plenty of amazing kids out there who deserve a second chance at life.


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## Thinker96 (Feb 24, 2010)

hmmmmm, not sure, since I do want kids of my own one day. Sure adoption is another way to have kids but it's not the same (please don't argue this...really don't feel like being trolled atm). If the relationship was strong and she was 'the one' then I could probably be alright with it but I'm not 100% on how I'd deal with it and it might end up badly because of guilt. But I could definitely see myself warm up to the idea of adoption if needed.


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## goodgracesbadinfluence (Feb 28, 2011)

I don't want children, so that'd actually be ideal.


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## Le Beau Coeur (Jan 30, 2011)

If it was someone I truly wanted to be with it would not matter.


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## leafling (Dec 15, 2011)

Yes, I would. At this moment, I don't really want to have children. If I somehow end up changing my mind and wanting kids, and my partner agrees with me, then we can adopt.


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## CosmicJalapeno (Sep 27, 2011)

Yup.

Why?

Because people who can't have kids can still adopt.


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## BlueG (Jun 2, 2011)

Yes. I don't think I want children anyway.


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## NChSh (Jan 2, 2013)

It wouldn't bother me at all. I honestly have no intention of ever procreating. Maybe that will change at some point, but even still, I don't see the problem. Also, it would sure be nice to not have to worry about birth control.


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## Laguna (Mar 21, 2012)

Being a mother was an ultimate goal for me- so at the time I was dating with marriage / babies in mind- no. I would not seriously date someone infertile. In fact, the man I considered marrying thought he couldn't have kids. Why guess? We tested and he got a clean bill of health so I kept him.  And he also got me pregnant. Swing and a hit.


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## William I am (May 20, 2011)

Nope. Having children is very important to me, and I don't want to set myself up for something I'll not be happy with. Then again, my fertility is dubious right now, and I'm concerned about it.


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## Dauntless (Nov 3, 2010)

I'm the anomaly, I could have children, but I never -not even *once*, have wanted them. 

They're good things, but not for me.


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## VioletTru (Jun 24, 2012)

Of course, considering the fact that I don't want to have children for a _very _long time. But I'm not searching for anyone to date right now.


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## xrevolutionx (Apr 10, 2010)

Yes. Children are not a priority for me.


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## cheburashka (Jan 4, 2013)

i would definitely date/marry someone who could not have children. while i definitely desire children and hope to be a mother, if i fall in love with someone who cannot, then it's not going to stop me from being in love with them. there's adoption, of course, however complicated that is. and the work i am going into will hopefully be involving children, so to have some of my own is not as important as being with someone i love.


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## Admiral Ackbar Cereal (Nov 25, 2012)

> um... the ability to have biological children with your future spouse.


Yes well that one I kinda tought everyone got? xD


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## HonestAndTrue (Oct 25, 2012)

*the person tells you on the first date they cannot have children, would you seriously (meaning date heading towards marriage) date them?*

I don't know. Now if we were married it's easy, we would continue living happily ever after not being able to have children. If it's a blind date, or I have only known them for an hour, I don't know. This wouldn't disqualify them from being a friend. I could also set this aside and we could continue the current date possibly finding other potential deal breakers. I haven't checked, but if I did and I found out I can't have children, then it's an easy yes. I'd want to say yes. I'd be up front that I don't know. I'd have to pray and do some soul searching. 

tldr; I don't know.


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## You Sir Name (Aug 18, 2011)

There are tons of children who need homes just waiting to be adopted.
I don't care about DNA, or even species (I've raised a kitten before and had/have strong maternal instincts for it), so if I wanted a kid, and my partner agreed, we'd adopt.


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## illow (Dec 23, 2012)

Love kids n i want my 'own'....but anytime soon, no way. I'm just saying one day i wan a junior Illow running around that i could nurture, n raise in my own lil private way.....i could consider adoption if my partner couldn't have kids, but obviously i prefer my own...with my DNA running through them....im a bit old fashioned n classical, dou im extremely adaptive so my approach would be quite flexible.


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## pageofadiary (Jan 3, 2011)

No. However that's what I say now from the outside looking in and I'm known for foolishly following my heart first.

No is the logical answer. 
Yes is the emotional one.


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## Vanitas (Dec 13, 2009)

I'm childfree. Inability to have children would be_ preferred_.


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## Traum (Jan 3, 2012)

As far as I know my fiance and I can both have children. If one of us can not, we can always adopt. He'd be more upset about it than I would be; I've always wanted to adopt but he wants to have kids ourselves. I guess that idea has grown on me, but still, I wouldn't be too sad if we could only adopt.


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## hulia (Sep 13, 2012)

Yes. I don't want children.
Also considering that I prefer women over men anyway.


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## Fleetfoot (May 9, 2011)

Fuck yeah that's awesome!

If I ever want to raise children I'll adopt anyway.


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## Runvardh (May 17, 2011)

Considering my genetic background, I would not be doing humanity a favour withholding from the pool. I understand we live in an over populated world; but maintaining an appropriate amount of genetic diversity as we drop below replacement birth rates is also an important consideration. Then again, that's because part of me hopes humanity has a future past the present insanity.

That said, I'm selfish enough to take an awesome woman over the ability to contribute to the above. There is also the possibility of adoption, which requires rolling less dice; though often a slightly different set. My only worry in this case would be for my past to be used against me, unless more organic calculations are worked out in determining eligibility.

Honestly though, I'm more likely to live life alone and childless until I allow myself to die - a third of the way through my second century.


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## Devil (May 12, 2011)

Of course. I really need to love the person though. I mean while I'd like to propagate my genes, we could always adopt and pass on our knowledge and information which in the long term is equally important.


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## Dashing (Sep 19, 2011)

I sometimes say that I don't want children.

Though I have found myself infatuated with a woman recently and firmly changed stances. The mind is a fickle thing. If I have to be honest, yes, I want children. Eventually.

So yeah, pretty weird answer to your question I guess, but that's what I've got.


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

I absolutely would, because there are many alternatives both to parenting and to passing on my genes. If my lifetime partner is a different person from my sperm donor, that doesn't seem like such a big sacrifice.


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## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

I would. I don't even want children, but if I do, we could always adopt.


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## SilverScorpio17 (Nov 13, 2009)

That would probably be a good thing, in my world. =P

Anyway, new scientific research may lead us closer to allowing infertile people to use their own DNA during therapy. 

Baby Mice Born from Eggs Made from Stem Cells | Observations, Scientific American Blog Network
Experts grow mouse sperm to help with human infertility | Reuters


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Mendi the ISFJ said:


> the person tells you on the first date they cannot have children, would you seriously (meaning date heading towards marriage) date them?


I'm not terribly concerned one way or the other. If there's attraction that's enough to start with. We can cross the "no children" issue when we come to that. Besides, who lays that on the table on the first date? Some serious "cart-before-horse" action, IMHO.


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## Decomposition (Jan 1, 2013)

I'm into guys, so yes, this is going to have to be something I get over. :happy:


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## Mendi the ISFJ (Jul 28, 2011)

tanstaafl28 said:


> I'm not terribly concerned one way or the other. If there's attraction that's enough to start with. We can cross the "no children" issue when we come to that. Besides, who lays that on the table on the first date? Some serious "cart-before-horse" action, IMHO.


well if you have some relationship-changing issue id like to know up front. I mean you discuss if you already have children on the first date, if you have been married, hopefully if you have AIDS, are impotent or something so why not this?


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## SamyX3 (Oct 24, 2012)

I honestly don't want to have children, there are already enough of them in the world. Glad to see I'm not the only one who thinks this way. Having my own kid would be nice, I guess, but I'm not entirely bothered by it. 

I mean why ruin a good relationship over something like children?


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## sean2724 (Mar 24, 2012)

Of course. I might prefer it. I'm on the fence regarding children, and if you click with someone you click. I dont need children to fill my life. We could always adopt. And I think the sex would be a lot better.


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