# If you are/were in your early 20's, would you date someone that's in their early 30's



## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

FlashbackTKE8 said:


> Age ain't nothing but a number, and vagina certainly has no age limit either!


Google "Lemonparty".

Tell me if you still have the same ideals.


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

harM0NiZe said:


> If I were in my early 30's, I would have a hard time considering dating someone in their early 20's. In your early 20's, I feel like you haven't really experienced life yet and more than likely you're in a party phase.


 
While I'm even a bit further along (sigh), the reasoning is still pretty similar for me dating someone ten years younger. It would have to be someone who has been through some hard stuff in his life and had also been in some long-term relationships, because I've had to deal with some hard stuff + worked very hard at my marriage when it was intact. And I've raised kids, which also has changed me.

It's not a matter of being better than someone at all, it's just a matter of being in similar places in life and having the same degrees of tenacity and life wisdom, I think, in order to connect deeply. I think if a person has different relational needs (i.e., they more are fulfilled just doing things with someone in the moment and having shared experiences), then they might be fine with a large age gap; but for me, since I like to communicate intimately and share ideas, the "life experience" gap can be pretty big with a ten-year difference, depending on the specific situation.


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## harM0NiZe (Aug 16, 2010)

Rosslyn said:


> Ah, the irony of an INTJ telling someone else to quit overanalyzing a potential love interest and do something about it... :crazy:


HAHAHAHAHA....I think you hit the bullseye! :laughing: I agree, I do need to stop overanalyzing :crazy:


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## William I am (May 20, 2011)

a) No I wouldn't. 
b) I might just for sex, but that wouldn't be dating and I probably wouldn't be attracted to someone who's "just a kid".

I don't find dating outside my age bracket appealing. It's pretty much a red flag (or blaring klaxon) that something's not right with the person and that turns me off. Even if they're younger than I am.


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## vanna.phylaxis (Jun 6, 2011)

Would I date older? Yes. Would I date younger? Yes. Do I date? No. But I assume it would be more comfortable with someone around my own age.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

I'm 25 and would be more likely to start a relationship with someone over thirty than a woman under twenty, but more likely to start a relationship with someone whose age is within a few years of mine. I would date someone over thirty, yes.


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

I'd feel like leech dating a person who's well established in life already in their 30's. So no, I rather not.

If I was 30 no way in hell I'd go for a young nutjob, have had enough of those already.


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## Ormazd (Jan 26, 2010)

Erbse said:


> I'd feel like leech dating a person who's well established in life already in their 30's. So no, I rather not.


I think this is a concern. Someone that is that much older would have a lot more experience in most things, and I would have to work pretty hard to feel like I'd be contributing equally. And while I do consider myself a mature and largely well adjusted individual. I'm still pretty immature/inexperienced in a few things. 


Yes, I think I would date someone in their 30s. Which certainly surprises me.

Buuuuut, "life happens" as my teacher always liked to say. There's a certain person that has piqued my interest, and I'd like to see what potential there is. That she is quite a few years older than myself I've found to be largely irrelevant.


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## Katya00 (Apr 25, 2011)

I've dated ~10 years older before but had never dated much younger until recently. Am in a relationship with a man 7 years my junior (23 & 30). We work well together because tbh most men around my age just seem defeated. Probably helps that I'm not "established" since schooling for what I want to do takes so long and I took a few years off to work. I also have no children which I think would make things different. 

I'll say it isn't something I thought I'd do and it isn't probably something I would make a practice of but he's very emotionally mature and isn't some partying beer crushing on the head college student. Also--some people never have a "party phase". Would I do it again? Yeah, if the right person came along. This has opened my eyes a lot. Compatibility comes in packages you may have not expected


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## Donkey D Kong (Feb 14, 2011)

I guess I would. I'm 16 currently, but I prefer older women to younger women.


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## wisdom (Dec 31, 2008)

When I was in my early twenties, no way. Now I'm more flexible about age, though not visible aging.


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## deepbluesun (Jun 2, 2011)

As a 22-year-old male, it really depends on her. I have a strong preference for women my age, but if she and I really clicked then I can't really see any reason not to... the age difference may lead to problems a few decades down the road though, so I'd really have to put everything in to consideration.

If I were in my early 30s, I doubt I'd have any qualms with dating a lady in her early 20s. Most men would probably agree, because I see a lot of examples of couples with rather large age gaps with the male being the older one. The only exception I think I would have is if we really had problems with each other or if she got stuck in teenager mode before hitting age 20.


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## Shemp (Mar 29, 2011)

No. The age difference is to much. I want someone who can relate to me, not tell me about what they did back in their day.


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## Cover3 (Feb 2, 2011)

I'd be puzzled about the why's


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## Therapist (Nov 16, 2009)

Have before. Would again.


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## William I am (May 20, 2011)

Therapist said:


> Have before. Would again.


 tld..... (just kidding)

Why? Can you expand?


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## DefLeppardTShirt (Oct 22, 2010)

Age differences are overrated. I'm 31, and have had great relationships with 22 year olds, bad ones with women my age, and everything in between.


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## Mulberries (Feb 17, 2011)

Yes. I'm 24 and I'm with someone in his late 30s, so early 30s wouldn't have been a big deal at all when I met him at 23. We both like to do the same things and beyond sharing a few drinks together, I'm not particularly interested in partying. He's one of those young hearted types and I'm practically an old woman already, so we meet in the middle. It works for us. 

Physical aging will not change how I feel about the love of my life. My feelings run much deeper than that.


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## Helene Of Troy (May 10, 2011)

Depends on the persons involved. 
I have met 18 year olds more mature, settled, focused and ready for serious relationships than some 40 year olds i know.
Meh.


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## Yardiff Bey (Jun 5, 2011)

It appears that generally, a matching "maturity" and "goals" are the prime requisites.

I have dated 12 years older than myself. (She was a party animal.) I married 12 years younger than myself. (Now divorced.)

All I can offer: Be absolutely sure that what you're seeing isn't a mask, whether put on by your own desires or their duplicity.


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