# Workplace etiquette?



## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

What is proper workplace etiquette? I know there's differences in fields, departments, companies, etc. So what is your experience?

I'll give an example of something that happened at my office. There were 2 employees working the weekend shifts at our business, & on Monday, I found they had broken something, but didn't leave a note. So I did a little investigation, to find out, who did it. Then as the manager, I sent an email to both employees, asking if they knew anything about it. The following day, I finally got a response from the employee who did it, but the other employee never responded. 

Is it wrong to think, if your supervisor is asking you a question, even if you weren't at fault, you should respond, even if to say, "I don't know anything about it." What do you all think?

Another thing I've noticed is, no common courtesy, please & thank you, are out the window. Not to mention, seeing employees on their cell phones constantly, during work hours. There's one employee, who only works one day a week, yet she manages to get a day off, _every month_. I get time off once, or twice a _year_, with proper planning, I don't think that's fair. :frustrating: What about bringing friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, or kids to work with you? Why do some people think that's okay?


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## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)

Workplace etiquette rule: always.
- If you fucked up you admit it, at least to your boss.


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## Tropes (Jul 7, 2016)

Mmmm said:


> What is proper workplace etiquette? I know there's differences in fields, departments, companies, etc. So what is your experience?
> 
> I'll give an example of something that happened at my office. There were 2 employees working the weekend shifts at our business, & on Monday, I found they had broken something, but didn't leave a note. So I did a little investigation, to find out, who did it. Then as the manager, I sent an email to both employees, asking if they knew anything about it. The following day, I finally got a response from the employee who did it, but the other employee never responded.
> 
> ...


Sheesh, once a week and a day off every month? And I was annoyed by a guy who does two shifts a week and still keeps demanding vacations. I also have a girl who will basically tell me she can't work sunday monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday and saturday but then cries that I don't give her 3 shifts a week. 

If I ask them a question and they don't respond in their time off I accept that - I get that people don't want to be on their bosses leash after hours - but then I will ask it again when they are at work and I expect an answer.

I find a good way to maintain good manners and civility is by cultivating "rituals" between staff members. For instance there's a list of things they have to go over when two employees exchange shifts and I expect them to spend 5 minutes doing that. Technically they can find out for themselves, but I find that this sort of thing helps running things smoothly and makes sure that they at least have to talk to each other like human beings. Early on I try to instill the understanding is that if they screw up then they screw up the entire department - we all have to deal with the result - and I find that it helps if they actually know each other. 

For legal reasons they can't bring friends and family into the office, it's fine if their partner or friend come into the building to chat for a minute and bring them lunch or something, but within the office I can't really allow that. I'll admit I don't really care - as far as I'm concerned it's nonsense the legal department came up with relatively recently and pretty much out of the blue - but following things you don't really care about is how you keep a job.


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## Denature (Nov 6, 2015)

Mmmm said:


> What is proper workplace etiquette? I know there's differences in fields, departments, companies, etc. So what is your experience?
> 
> I'll give an example of something that happened at my office. There were 2 employees working the weekend shifts at our business, & on Monday, I found they had broken something, but didn't leave a note. So I did a little investigation, to find out, who did it. Then as the manager, I sent an email to both employees, asking if they knew anything about it. The following day, I finally got a response from the employee who did it, but the other employee never responded.
> 
> ...


Etiquette taught in school is the official, but in reality, those rules are only as strong as the enforcement by surrounding people. Proper etiquette would be to leave a note with contact information next to the item that was damaged.

If anyone I know/respect tries to contact me, I get back to them. I say please and thank you to the point if others don't, it bothers me quite a bit.

There's usually a reason why some people get more time off then others.


Really, the short answer is, people get away with rudeness when role models don't enforce proper rules.


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## incision (May 23, 2010)

As a supervisor, you can't govern etiquette but you can govern violations of company policy. If any of the behaviors that you've described violated company policy, you can address them. But don't be the office nazi when it comes to etiquette or the blowback will be spectacular, to say the least.


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## Strelnikov (Jan 19, 2018)

Mmmm said:


> What is proper workplace etiquette? I know there's differences in fields, departments, companies, etc. So what is your experience?
> 
> I'll give an example of something that happened at my office. There were 2 employees working the weekend shifts at our business, & on Monday, I found they had broken something, but didn't leave a note. So I did a little investigation, to find out, who did it. Then as the manager, I sent an email to both employees, asking if they knew anything about it. The following day, I finally got a response from the employee who did it, but the other employee never responded.
> 
> ...


Things are very different in different countries and even different workplaces. For example, when I work, it's ok to be late 15 mins or to leave 15 mins early (but not as far as meetings are concerned). Usually, I arrive 10-15 mins earlier and leave 10-15 mins earlier. Still I stop working about 30 mins before I leave work. And in between, without YouTube, Facebook and PerC I would go crazy, because it's so boring (tables of numbers and circles spinning - the thing showing something is loading, all day long). We prize efficiency and results more than face-time. And I'm the best at what I do. I'm seen as a very reliable employee with a fighting spirit.

Now, regarding your case. Why did you send an email? Why didn't you ask in person? People can miss emails. Also, you can solve this much faster and more effectively, since you can see their reactions to your question. You can detect someone lying. Also, how important was the broken thing?

Second, does it matter the other one didn't reply? Your objective was met. You found the guilty person. Personally, there are situations where people would expect a reply from me, but I won't provide any reply, if it doesn't seem to me they were asking me personally and the question is directed at someone, but the sender isn't sure who to ask. For example, if there are more people asked. I won't necessarily reply, unless I can provide anything of value. Also, I won't reply if the answer is already provided by someone else. The objective of the email was achieved. I move on. So, it's not necessarily a sign of disrespect.

Now, regarding "please" and "thank you", it depends... They're more optional I think. The "please" and "thank you" are implicit, even without explicitly saying them. You can deduce them from the tone of the discussion. Cell phones... again it depends how "constant" this is... It's ok for people to talk on the phone during working hours. It's unreasonable to expect them not to have any personal issues during work, however there is indeed a limit to that. We had a case, where a certain person would talk on the phone about 2-3 hours each day.

How come there is an employee who works 1 day/week? How much time off do you have? Yes, we do have to plan them in advance, but it's ok, I can get days off in any combination. The law here only requires to have 10 consecutive days, the rest of days off are taken however the employee wants (of course in agreement with the employer). Regarding bringing other people like children, friends, etc. at work. Again, it depends on how much it's done. I wouldn't bring a child to where I work, but I suppose some people don't have a place to leave them while they're at work. I would invite friends to visit me at work, not necessarily to sit next to me while I work, since information about my work is still confidential. But it's ok if they come and stay and talk for a few minutes or if we go out for a small smoke break (I'm not a smoker, but I do take smoke breaks).

So in short, I would say these rules are flexible (for example I can swear at work and punch my laptop when someone pisses me off with their emails, I have argued with people face to face, but I won't transmit that when talking to our internal customers, our official duty... there is a lot of "please" and "thank you" in those interactions... although I want to tell them I hope they die slow and painful deaths), but people shouldn't exaggerate bending the rules, especially when it would affect their coworkers.


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## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

Strelnikov said:


> Now, regarding your case. Why did you send an email? Why didn't you ask in person? People can miss emails. Also, you can solve this much faster and more effectively, since you can see their reactions to your question. You can detect someone lying. Also, how important was the broken thing?


These employees only work the weekend shifts, & I work during the week, so we never see each other in person, all communication is via, memos, email, & sometimes by phone. I noticed the key to one of our locks was broken, come to find out it was broken off inside the lock. Which is a hassle to get fixed, not to mention a safety hazard, because no one could exit the property from that door, until that lock was replaced. Thankfully the employee was able to lock it before it broke, otherwise it would have also been a security issue. In this case, the problem could not be overlooked. 



Strelnikov said:


> Second, does it matter the other one didn't reply? Your objective was met. You found the guilty person. Personally, there are situations where people would expect a reply from me, but I won't provide any reply, if it doesn't seem to me they were asking me personally and the question is directed at someone, but the sender isn't sure who to ask. For example, if there are more people asked. I won't necessarily reply, unless I can provide anything of value. Also, I won't reply if the answer is already provided by someone else. The objective of the email was achieved. I move on. So, it's not necessarily a sign of disrespect.


I can understand if the first employee, who admitted guilt, had responded to all recipients of the email, but she didn't. Not only that, but the second employee should have caught the damage, & reported it also.
*In the end, the second employee finally responded, & included the guilty person on the email too.




Strelnikov said:


> How come there is an employee who works 1 day/week? How much time off do you have? Yes, we do have to plan them in advance, but it's ok, I can get days off in any combination. The law here only requires to have 10 consecutive days, the rest of days off are taken however the employee wants (of course in agreement with the employer). Regarding bringing other people like children, friends, etc. at work. Again, it depends on how much it's done. I wouldn't bring a child to where I work, but I suppose some people don't have a place to leave them while they're at work. I would invite friends to visit me at work, not necessarily to sit next to me while I work, since information about my work is still confidential. But it's ok if they come and stay and talk for a few minutes or if we go out for a small smoke break (I'm not a smoker, but I do take smoke breaks).


The two employees who work weekends are going to university, that's why they work only one day a week. I work full time, during the week, & manage them. Bringing friends to work, is an issue because of confidentiality. Clients private information should never be seen by a third party. Besides that, they are distracted, & make careless errors on legal paperwork, & computer files, that need to be corrected. 

I hate managing careless, irresponsible, employees, that I can't "officially" discipline, or fire!:frustrating: Corporate is supposed to do that. I do find other ways of reprimanding them, with what I _can _control, schedules, & work duties. I'm not quick to focus on the negative, because I also reward & commend them, when they've done a good job. Besides my verbal commendation, I've given them gift cards, & other small gifts, as appreciation for a job well done.


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## Figure (Jun 22, 2011)

Largely with you that the employee who didn't break the lock should have responded to your email. Did you use the exact phrase "do you know anything?" in your email? If so, I could see how that would come across as being a bit passive and not trigger someone to write back. If I had wanted a response, I probably would have phrased it as, "please email me back" to let people know that you actually expect a follow up. A _conscientious_ employee would have done so without you having to ask - though I wouldn't personally label not doing so as "rude." Most people are just kind of wrapped up in their own digital bubble these days, like you noted, on their cell phone. I'm not in any way absolving your unconscientious employee - but if you really want a response you may need to ask for it. 

Agree with you 100% with please and thank you's. I said "thank you very much" to a woman at a cashier the other day, and she looked at me like I was an alien pod person. These days I do still sometimes see parents tell their children to say "please" and what not, but then let their kids go on without it becoming a habit. Or even worse, they say "thank you" at Trick-or-Treat and proceed to grab 15 candies from the bowl anyway. 

The worst? People who _never_ reciprocate an act of goodwill. People have really _badly_ forgotten the concept of remembering times when someone went out of their way to do something for you, and doing something for them when they need it, to show gratitude.


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## MarthePryde (Oct 1, 2017)

You would do well to respect other people's way of going about their jobs providing it's all in good order. Show respect and support for your superiors and try to stick to schedules and routines to avoid disrupting anyone.


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## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

*What are your views in regards to dress & grooming, in the work place?
*
For example, I went to the bank, & the female teller was showing so much cleavage it was making _me _uncomfortable. All I could see were her breasts, as she was counting out the money. :facepalm: Unprofessional for the setting IMO. If she was working at a strip club, totally expected, but not at the bank. 

How about at restaurants? Some of the clothing, & hair styles, don't seem sanitary, around my food?


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## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

*How to deal with a non-compliant administrator?*

I'm having an issue with an administrator at work. She's the mediator between myself, & the owners of the business. She's the accountant, & corporate office manager, which means, I send her all the reports, invoices, & service requests.

She is about a month behind on paying our invoices, which means the suppliers are contacting me. In addition, I've made several requests for new signage, & web site updates, that she is supposed to be managing, & 3 months later, I'm still waiting. :frustrating:

I don't know what is going on, because she replies to some emails, but not all. I don't really want to go over her head, & speak to the owners, because I think she would retaliate, if I did. Plus, I think she has the owners, wrapped around her little finger. 

Any alternative ideas, on how to get results?


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## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)

Mmmm said:


> Any alternative ideas, on how to get results?


Money is a good reason to not be soft. Follow standard protocol. Your workplace should have that.

For the other stuff. I would go over to their desk and verbally slap them for being shit at their job.


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## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

I think it's proper to immediately tell your supervisor whenever you break something significant. I do think I would feel a bit uncomfortable if I were the employee who didn't break the object and I received your email. That puts them in the crappy position of either getting their coworker in trouble and their coworker knowing who it was, or not being responsive to their boss. Theoretically, "tattling" shouldn't be a problem, but in reality, retribution happens. I think, if at all possible, it would be better to handle something like that in person. 



> Another thing I've noticed is, no common courtesy, please & thank you, are out the window.


I think this is often a workplace culture thing. It has varied across positions/companies/teams I've been on. I feel like asking politely and thanking are enormously impactful. It just takes one person doing it to start a chain reaction where others do it too. 



> Not to mention, seeing employees on their cell phones constantly, during work hours.


Eh. I think this one needs a middle ground. Strict no cell phone: during meetings; on sales floors; during important procedures, examinations, activities; etc. Otherwise, be polite and step aside or check it in a quiet moment. If there's no leniency then people just start doing it whenever. If there are designated times when it's not ok and ok then I think it's a lot easier on everyone. And obviously if someone is really on their phone constantly, then pulling them aside and having a discussion... 



> There's one employee, who only works one day a week, yet she manages to get a day off, _every month_. I get time off once, or twice a _year_, with proper planning, I don't think that's fair. :frustrating:


Find out what she's doing that you're not, lol. I mean, yeah, it's not fair, but what parameters are impacting this? Are your roles different? Your supervisors? Your seniority? 



> What about bringing friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, or kids to work with you? Why do some people think that's okay?


For a short break time or after work is usually cute and fine IMO, unless there are safety/sanitation/confidentiality restrictions. During work - with the exception of an emergency and bringing a kid/kids when there's an acceptable way to bring them - is not proper. I met with a photographer before my wedding who brought her 10-month-old son to our first meeting... and I asked her about her son... she said she'd be bringing him along as she shoots the photos at the wedding... I said no thank you to her services. I loved her son - he was adorable - but I can't imagine being able to take quality photos with your baby slung around you. I felt bad for turning her down, but was sort of stunned she seemed to think it was totally fine. She even seemed a bit offended, which made me feel even moreso like it wasn't the right match.



Mmmm said:


> I'm having an issue with an administrator at work. She's the mediator between myself, & the owners of the business. She's the accountant, & corporate office manager, which means, I send her all the reports, invoices, & service requests.
> 
> She is about a month behind on paying our invoices, which means the suppliers are contacting me. In addition, I've made several requests for new signage, & web site updates, that she is supposed to be managing, & 3 months later, I'm still waiting.
> 
> ...


Do your job as best as you can and make sure to have a paper trail of how you have attempted to contact everyone needed whenever issues arose. Copy people when appropriate and possible so you're not the only one who knows. Don't go over her head, but communicate what's going on as much as you are expected to. Have you asked her if you can help with anything? How did she respond? Anyway, if she's that negligent, shit will hit the fan soon enough.


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## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

angelfish said:


> Do your job as best as you can and make sure to have a paper trail of how you have attempted to contact everyone needed whenever issues arose. Copy people when appropriate and possible so you're not the only one who knows. Don't go over her head, but communicate what's going on as much as you are expected to. Have you asked her if you can help with anything? How did she respond? Anyway, if she's that negligent, shit will hit the fan soon enough.


You've made some really good points. As a matter of fact, I spoke with a fellow manager this week, & he's having the same problem with her. So I'm hoping it does catch up with her. I have all my paperwork in order, if I need to access anything, I can show my emails. The only thing that worries me, is that she can also access our server, & if she wanted to, she could delete our emails.


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## Rascal01 (May 22, 2016)

Have you considered establishing a “tickler file”? It is a list of pending items nearing or beyond a due date. This would/could:

Help keep you organized and top of things. (Yes, I know, you already are.)

Sent to the person you described, it helps them to become more organized, it serves as a reminder of actions pending and helps them to prioritize, confirms to her that you are on top of things, eliminates her ability to claim she was not informed, serves as proof you are doing your job should you get involved with the front office, puts her in a position that may motivate her to do her job more efficiently, reduces the possibility of conflict and retaliation, and might cause her to treat you with more respect.

Just be polite in your communication, written and oral. I’d suggest submitting monthly so it does not appear you are bombarding her with taskers. Let her be the boss, you the efficient employee, as you put her in a position where she needs to get something done. At the same time you are protecting your professional position.

Keep a copy of all submissions, including dates and addresses.

This may help you break the stalemate. No standing on her desk, no in-her-face confrontation. Just polite, professional and helpful communication intended to support her as she performs her professional duties

Good luck.


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## contradictionary (Apr 1, 2018)

Mmmm said:


> I'm having an issue with an administrator at work. She's the mediator between myself, & the owners of the business. She's the accountant, & corporate office manager, which means, I send her all the reports, invoices, & service requests.
> 
> She is about a month behind on paying our invoices, which means the suppliers are contacting me. In addition, I've made several requests for new signage, & web site updates, that she is supposed to be managing, & 3 months later, I'm still waiting. :frustrating:
> 
> ...


Every once in a while you need to stop being a mediator between her and the vendors :wink:

_Sent sans PC_


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## musixxal (Nov 14, 2018)

work place rules to me are simple:

a) don't microwave fish at lunch time and stink up the hallway and/or office
b) unless you are management, it's none of your business what time someone comes in or what time they leave. they might work faster than you do- or they might be working into the night at home- or they've gotten approval from management to leave early. so keep your nose out of it.
c) don't come by someone's desk and hang over their cubicle to chat for an hour. they have no way of escaping your chatty clutches. say hello, and invite them to lunch at the cafeteria if you want to have a gossip session. 

a huge thing ive seen at most workplaces that is total bullshit to me is pay. it's ridiculous to keep that kind of thing secretive, and then discourage you from discussing/comparing paychecks with colleagues who do THE EXACT SAME WORK AS YOU. if i ever start my own company, pay will be streamlined across jobs that are identical and people will be allowed to freely discuss what they make.


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## Fatal Destiny (Oct 4, 2018)

If you're in a cubicle system and someone wants to watch videos/listen to an audio, they should use a set of head phones


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## contradictionary (Apr 1, 2018)

Mmmm said:


> What is proper workplace etiquette? I know there's differences in fields, departments, companies, etc. So what is your experience?
> 
> I'll give an example of something that happened at my office. There were 2 employees working the weekend shifts at our business, & on Monday, I found they had broken something, but didn't leave a note. So I did a little investigation, to find out, who did it. Then as the manager, I sent an email to both employees, asking if they knew anything about it. The following day, I finally got a response from the employee who did it, but the other employee never responded.
> 
> ...


Back to OP. 

Some of the behaviors are explainable by the generation gaps. 

Some other would explain your own type because you prefer proper things, at proper time, at proper people. Not to be typist but those are how preference gaps are working.

_Sent sans PC_


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## Suntide (Dec 22, 2018)

Many of the technicians at my lab have poor work etiquette (and poor work ethic in general).

Every day, many people at my workplace
-show up late with no notice to coworkers or management
-make huge messes and leave it for the next person coming in to clean up
-go hide in another room until someone else does the task they don't want to do

Thank god these people aren't part of _my_ department.

And then they have the nerve to complain about workplace conditions. Like, if everybody just _stopped_ doing what I listed above, took some responsibility, and actually considered how their actions affect their coworkers, none of the issues they have would exist anymore.


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## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

Mmmm said:


> You've made some really good points. As a matter of fact, I spoke with a fellow manager this week, & he's having the same problem with her. So I'm hoping it does catch up with her. I have all my paperwork in order, if I need to access anything, I can show my emails. The only thing that worries me, is that she can also access our server, & if she wanted to, she could delete our emails.


Get a flash drive and save them to it. 



musixxal said:


> b) unless you are management, it's none of your business what time someone comes in or what time they leave. they might work faster than you do- or they might be working into the night at home- or they've gotten approval from management to leave early. so keep your nose out of it.
> c) don't come by someone's desk and hang over their cubicle to chat for an hour. they have no way of escaping your chatty clutches. say hello, and invite them to lunch at the cafeteria if you want to have a gossip session.


Yesssssss


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## contradictionary (Apr 1, 2018)

angelfish said:


> Get a flash drive and save them to it.


LoL. That's what i did.

I have all the backup copies of all my previous works outlook pst and lotus notes mails, many gigabytes of archives. I mean, what do you know right, shits happened.

_Sent sans PC_


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## Aarya (Mar 29, 2016)

I hate being nagged at work by people who do it because they think they have to show they are doing something that their role represents (and take it in a stupidly literal way).

I don't blend in well with rules stating how you should speak or think or the salesman model: let everyone develop their own styles and give newcomers 6 weeks to adapt, there's no one glove fits all. 

I am usually respectful and clean, so I dislike if anyone around me is allowed to trash the place and not told to clean it at some point before anything starts smelling. 

Many times you find out that your superiors can be dumber than you at times, but you remember they have been there for longer which made them "advance". Now, that is fine. However, the second they think I'm there to stroke their ego for 0 reasons, I'll do the opposite. Misogynism at work is real. I am the type to walk out giving a mental middle finger the second people give up understanding and progress for exaggerated political correctness, lies for benefits, idea stealing, or oppose my own. It's feels so much better as far as I'm concerned, since I get both the experience (short or long lived, however it was) and to conserve my energy for something more useful. But then you have those people who "gladly" take abuse at work because they "need money" and are ready to do anything they are told even if it's in the detriment of a certain group of people like the young or the elder. Ah, beautiful people. 

Calling out exaggerated bullshit is the etiquette I like. Otherwise, I've seen people being too easily triggered as well. Hard to find a balance...


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## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

I just want to rant...

Every Monday morning is a headache for me trying to figure out what happened over the weekend shifts. Not to mention, having to clean up & arrange the office, back from the chaos it was left in. It always looks like a tornado hit it, I can't understand what is going on, that every single thing is crooked. From the blinds on the windows, to the floor mats. :shocked: This is what I imagine is happening:









Anyway, so today was my "Monday" because of the holiday break, & to my dismay they didn't do anything I asked them to do! I have a weeks worth of reports to send! My printer/scanner is not working, it took me an hour to troubleshoot the problem, before I could get it to work again. What the heck people, really?! :dry:


Edit: The tasks I leave for them to do, a 6 year old could get them done, seriously. I asked them to cut out the price list, did it get done, no. I asked them to sweep up a small mess, did that get done, no. I asked them to take the deposit to the bank, they left me a note that said, there was nothing to deposit. Well, yeah because all the mail is sitting on my desk unopened! I guess I needed to be a little more specific, "please open the mail, post the payments, then take them to the bank." I wish I could fire them all! :frustrating:


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## Mone (May 22, 2017)

Some co-workers can be pretty toxic. What about some coopetaion, huh? I mean co-operation - co-worker. 

I have gained such experience in my previous workplace. There was a bossy and rude HR amanger who thought she was better than everyone else in the company and solved her problems with outher by pointing out their mistakes. As a marketing manager I had to cooperate with her within some projects. It was unbearable. When leaving, I have had some arguments with her as long as I didn't care about my position in that place anymore.


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## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)

Workplaces should be flexible enough to cover female biological needs with no hesitation. It's only fair, so males and females can compete/perform/work at same level. Could go as far as providing easily available extra pads, just in case.
Such policy is benefits everyone, 
- no need for women to hide it, can be more open about it
- men gets exposed regularly creating some basic understanding for the female biological clock


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## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

pwowq said:


> Workplaces should be flexible enough to cover female biological needs with no hesitation. It's only fair, so males and females can compete/perform/work at same level. Could go as far as providing easily available extra pads, just in case.
> Such policy is benefits everyone,
> - no need for women to hide it, can be more open about it
> - men gets exposed regularly creating some basic understanding for the female biological clock


Yes, I think it's important to be able to take breaks when needed without having to give explanations. Of course it's nothing to be ashamed of, but it's also a privacy issue, discretion would be key when it comes to things like this. HR (human resources) would know best on how to address any issues in the workplace when it comes to matters such as educating male co-workers if needed.


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