# Why do you want a partner?



## Ziwosa (Sep 25, 2010)

Why do you want a partner?
What's the biggest reason?
Are there any other ways to get what you want besides from getting it from your partner?

Is it because of sex?,
don't want to be alone?,
want to have children?,
want someone to rely on ?

Maybe you just feel like you want a partner, but find no real reason for it ?

I'm eager to hear from you !


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## mnemonicfx (Sep 5, 2010)

To not be lonely. That's the biggest reason.

Other reasons are secondary.


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

Main reason would to have an equal you resonate with just perfectly. Everything else is moot to me.


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## ENTrePenuer (Jun 12, 2010)

The dishes won't do themselves.
I keed, I keed.


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## Ziwosa (Sep 25, 2010)

mnemonicfx said:


> To not be lonely. That's the biggest reason.





Erbse said:


> Main reason would to have an equal you resonate with just perfectly. Everything else is moot to me.


What about friends then?


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

Ziwosa said:


> What about friends then?


In life you get what you get. You can't choose your surrounding. You can choose your friends, yes, but not the pool to select from. I'm no good with keeping in touch, I'm fine with being on my own and/or by myself - yet a person to truly resonate with would be fulfilling.

I can't say I'm good at finding appropriate acquaintances (I don't even try) though people are usually too dumb for me to bother with, or too smart, or our personalities as such simply don't resonate well. This is also the reason I prefer the Internet over real life communication, Online you truly can pick who you want to socialize with.

EDIT: Also, I'd never get as intimate (in a non physical / sexual way) with a friend than I would with a partner.


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## SyndiCat (Oct 2, 2010)

Something tells me that I need someone I can protect and uplift.
I would not be a guide, I would merely be a supporting beam to 
hold that which is more important in its proper place. Its proper
place would be described as all that is good; To always be happy 
and contempt; To live in absolute Nirvana, free from worries.
And all I ask in return is to be accepted for who I am, no matter
my flaws, and to be appreciated for my insignificance.

Unfortunately, at one point, I tend to realize that 'me' worrying
over 'her' and 'her problems' destroys the balance and harmony
I wish to obtain and secure, and that is when I further realize
that I am not good enough for said person. I will then choose
to leave, and we both end up scarred.

It took me two months to realize that all I ever did for the last
person I held dear to my heart, was to ruin her life. And that is
very much feeding my depression.

So it is safe to say that if I do fall in love again, I will avoid that
person by any means necessary.


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## Aerorobyn (Nov 11, 2009)

Honestly, the only reason I can really think of as to why I'd want a partner right now... is to be able to have sex whenever, without coming across as a slut because...well...I'm with somebody who I care about, and we have mutual respect for each other. And maybe just somebody to keep me warm on these cold winter nights coming up. 

I really can't think of anything else. I'm very content being alone and having my freedom, and I really don't plan on changing that unless I find somebody who I just feel, "OMG! I can't live without this person! I want to be with him and see where things go!!"


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## tuna (Jun 10, 2010)

When I see "partner," I think of an unconditional bestfriendship. And I'd like one of those because not having a truly close friend is painful. It's hard to not have someone to laugh with, goof off with, play video games and watch hideous movies with, and just... be myself with, without having to keep any guards up. I miss that relationship and although I know that it won't develop overnight (my last one took two years), I'd really like that kind of feeling again.

idk man I'm just a sap when it comes to friendship. I couldn't care less about romance or sex at this point in my life.


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## AirMarionette (Mar 13, 2010)

I never really WANTED a partner, it was not something I sought or longed for in my life; I was satisfied with knowing the world and exploring its mysteries. 

I had crushes that stopped at the line of infatuation, with no desire to develop a relationship. But it is nice to have someone for yourself, devoted to you, with you when you don't want to be alone. Like anything in excess, it can be asphyxiating - and I used to think that was all a partner could be, a means of asphyxiation, something more toxic than curative - but there is definitely something more to being with someone than that.


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## mnemonicfx (Sep 5, 2010)

Ziwosa said:


> What about friends then?


Friends are fragile. If you think friends are enough, people won't get married and have a family.

At the stage where people are getting married, having children and stuff, the value of friendship will tend to diminish. They will care about their own well-being. You (as a friend) will be considered as not important. You will be lonely.

It's a social conditioning, which is not entirely bad or unfair. Because if people don't believe in marriage anymore, you will have the problem of prevalent promiscuity. 

I personally don't see a partner as someone to rely on, because relying on someone is too much of a demand, and if you don't get what you want, you will be unsatisfied. It's only about not being lonely. 

Here's a point:
You can't just be "close friend" with the opposite sex, at some point you will want more.


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## sensorium (Oct 20, 2010)

My partner must be my best friend. 
What do I expect from them? Some moral support, communication, affection and sex. To experience new things, new sensations, new ideas, together.

I can do all that on my own, but I've always found it more exciting to share it with someone.

Everything else is unimportant. I can do my own (and sometimes others') cooking, laundry, dishes and all that - I never wanted a babysitter. 

Kids - not really, not anymore at least.


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## JoetheBull (Apr 29, 2010)

What's the biggest reason?

The need for intimacy, connection, and sex. No real experience but I am sure I am looking for someone to be closer then friends and family can be. Sex sometimes seem like the only reason but I learned that sex feels empty and somewhat extremely pointless when done with some one I don't know or have feelings of affection for.

*Are there any other ways to get what you want besides from getting it from your partner?*

Nope tried. Only found out that hollow sex leaves you just as empty as before.

*Maybe you just feel like you want a partner, but find no real reason for it ?*

There are times when I am not sure there is any reason to want a partner. Even the three I stated early seem to be pointless and unrealistic reasons at times


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## Black Rabbit (Apr 15, 2010)

I would want a partner so she could inspire me to learn more and experience more in the world. I would also try to provide that same role for her but with my own flavor of course. I guess I've always admired and am drawn to scholarly, academic women because I feel I can learn most from them. Being scholarly is not my natural inclination, so it would compliment me well, and hopefully my more "school of life" approach would compliment her strengths. 

So I guess to answer the question concisely, I would want a partner so I can enrich my life and hers.


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## geGamedev (Nov 26, 2009)

What I want is more of a best friend that just happens to also be an attractive woman that finds me attractive as well. Someone I'm comfortable being fully myself with, completely open. A woman I can share what I learn with, who has interesting things to share with me as well. A companion in my future excursions to various places around the world. Ideally, someone who's career goals compliment my own, so that we can help each other succeed on multiple fronts. Someone willing to stay in but also good at convincing me to get out.

In short, I want a partner because, even if it wasn't the ideal relationship with an unrealistically ideal woman, she would still most likely be an exception to all the rules. I keep a lot of myself to myself, a girlfriend/wife would be the exception to that at the least.


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## Thrifty Walrus (Jul 8, 2010)

*Why do you want a partner?*

Someone to help keep me and check and to lean on when times are tough.

*What's the biggest reason?*

Create a partnership that cover's each other's weaknesses, making you both stronger together then you ever would be apart.

*Are there any other ways to get what you want besides from getting it from your partner?*

I suppose but it's not the same.

*Is it because of sex?,*

That's nice but it's really one of the last things on my mind. Although it certainly doesn't hurt to have a bangin' body :tongue:

*don't want to be alone?,*

Not really part of it but I guess.

*want to have children?,*

Haha.

*want someone to rely on ?*

Bingo.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

Ziwosa said:


> Why do you want a partner?
> What's the biggest reason?
> Are there any other ways to get what you want besides from getting it from your partner?
> 
> ...


Emotional support, validation, and connectedness/intimacy. I also want to be able to provide those things for someone else. 
I think I'm capable of handling everything else on my own as long as I can rely on those few little things.

There is no other way to get what I need. I require a partner. A best friend can suffice as a temporary pacifier, but I really need for it to be someone who will be romantically bound to me so he won't leave, and so there will be fewer boundaries placed on how we can experience and explore our connectedness.

I would like sex, because it is a form of validation and an expression of acceptance.
I don't want to be alone.
I don't want to have children.
I definitely want someone to rely on, but mostly for non-physical things, except for the few physical things that carry non-physical meanings.


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## Midnight Runner (Feb 14, 2010)

*Why do you want a partner?*
Why do I want a friend? Because they are someone who is always there for you and you can rely on all the time. I would have a different kind of intimacy with my partner than I have with friends (sex being part of this, though that is certainly not the only thing), though.

*What's the biggest reason?*
Look to the previous question.

*Are there any other ways to get what you want besides from getting it from your partner?*
There are ways to get close, but nothing is the same.

*Is it because of sex?*
This is part of it, though obviously I can get sex from elsewhere so that isn't the only reason.

*don't want to be alone?*
Not really. I had gotten comfortable with being alone.

*want to have children?*
At some point, yes. Not really an immediate concern, but children are definitely something I want eventually and I wouldn't hold it against any future partners if they brought a child or two with them from a previous relationship.

*want someone to rely on ?*
As mentioned earlier, yes.


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## Codger (Aug 7, 2010)

Because rape requires a lot of running afterwards, and I'm a bit lazy.


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## viva (Aug 13, 2010)

Winter's approaching. It's chilly. I want to snuggle. Hot chocolate. Fireplace. Enough said.


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## fillet (Jun 12, 2010)

I want someone to share my life with. Someone I can go travelling with, live with, have fun with, achieve my dreams with, etc...

I'm not interested in sex, unless I'm in a relationship. I need the intimacy and friendship. Friends are great, but they have their own lives, they can't provide the same intimacy that romantic relationships can provide. Friends can only share small parts of my life, the depth isn't the same.


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## mrscientist (Jul 4, 2010)

Yes i want someone to fight crime with.


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## Lullaby (Jul 21, 2010)

I don't. I'd much rather have a crush or two and just not have anyone depend on me. Solo time.

In general, though, I crave a connection at 100%. I don't mean no fights and perfect unity or something. Just someone that gets me in every way. He doesn't have to agree, he just needs to get it... To understand and embrace what I am, and I'll be more than happy to do the same for him.

Till I find the sucker, I'm more than content being alone. If only I can _become_ 'alone' in the first place, that is. :dry:


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## Codger (Aug 7, 2010)

mrscientist said:


> Yes i want someone to fight crime with.


Holy job opportunity, Batman!


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## reefercheefer (Nov 3, 2009)

I want to find a suitable mate, so i can raise my children with them. Much better than battling for custody of your children with a bitter enemy.


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## Nomenclature (Aug 9, 2009)

I'm not even sure anymore. :/

Soooo, the other day, I was talking to a friend about this, and he said, "I think what you need is someone who will stay with you through your withdrawal." Yes, I'm distant and my affections are sinusoidal, especially when my depression starts to rev itself up again. But when it seems like I've turned to ice or gone numb (i.e. I don't feel alive/human anymore), the last thing I need is for someone to give up on me. I kind of (but not really) accepted early on that I would die alone.

Yes, sex would be nice annndddd it would provide another dimension to communication. But it's clearly not an option right now. :bored: And that's an issue. Fuck-happy + LDR = baaaaadddddd.

Yes, I want children. It's unfortunate that the ones who mass reproduce are the ones whose spawn would be detrimental to society's progress. :frustrating:

And yah, I've been told that I get myself into the relationships I do because I don't want to be alone.
EDIT: Mind you, that came from someone who held my SO in lower esteem than most people would.


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## Aßbiscuits (Oct 8, 2009)

*Why do you want a partner? *There's no other people in my life I can be that intimate with. If I'm going to show every side of myself it's going to be to someone who's capable of being that close. Instead of a best friend because best friends don't see everything, every single part of you, your nakedness inside and outside, your sexuality and sensuality, there's no boundaries in a partner like that. You shower together, sleep together and everything. So far in my life no other relationship beats that intimacy. No-one gets to see that much of you except you and that person.
*What's the biggest reason?* All of the reasons are equally as big.
*Are there any other ways to get what you want besides from getting it from your partner? *Have a friend with benefits, that gets messy though and that sort of relationship stays in the closet. Nobody knows about it so it's not as serious and it's just not the same.

*Is it because of sex?* No. Sex is great but it's not why I get into a relationship. But I can tell you right now if it's uncomfortable (dirty talking, pressuring me, being too bossy, being too rough, being too selfish while having sex with me will make me uncomfortable) that's a reason for me to not get into a relationship with someone or to break up with someone. 
*don't want to be alone?* Who does? 
*want to have children? *No.
*want someone to rely on ? *And to be relied on.
*
Maybe you just feel like you want a partner, but find no real reason for it ? *What?


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

Nomenclature said:


> Is that so wrong that I view that kind of connection as a necessity?


Yes. From my experiences people that do that usually don't have any standards but put up with about anything for the sake of not being on their own and/or alone, which appears to be a perfect recipe for failure and/or unhappiness.

My grandma is such a person for all I know.


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## WildWinds (Mar 9, 2010)

I guess for me the main reason is to have somebody to be close to on a level thats above and beyond even a best friendship. Somebody that knows me inside and out, that I can be myself around, somebody I can trust. I want a relationship thats so open there is no right or wrong, neither of us have to hide anything or be ashamed of anything we've done or are, nothing between us. I want that person to make me happy just by being himself. Sex would just come naturally with that.

Chances of this kind of relationship being realistic? Slim to none! But I can dream =P


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## Wien1938 (Nov 21, 2009)

WildWinds, well said!


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## Ziwosa (Sep 25, 2010)

A lot of reasons/motivation, how is it possible that some people prefer to be single? Or are they just lying to them selfs?


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## Rowan (Jul 5, 2010)

Or is it the people that want to be with someone that are lying to themselves? Just a thought. And a quote (paraphrasing): 'I was in love with a man once, but I loved my freedom more'. Again, just a thought.

I want a partner to witness my life with me, and vice versa. To share.


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

Ziwosa said:


> A lot of reasons/motivation, how is it possible that some people prefer to be single? Or are they just lying to them selfs?


Single is likely to be the more worthwhile option unless you happened to find your perfect relationship. A relationship for the sake of not being alone is a chore for everyone that has quite an independent character. Usually relationships take away freedom, only the really good ones extend / enhance your original freedom, making them truly worthwhile.


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## Isis (Jul 8, 2010)

Why do you want a partner?

To be able to share and build a life together with someone else. It's kind of nice to be able to live in reference to another person, to have someone to do for and be responsible to.

Unless that's not a good reason?


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## Ziwosa (Sep 25, 2010)

I don't see why any reason would be any less good : )


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## Isis (Jul 8, 2010)

Ziwosa said:


> I don't see why any reason would be any less good : )


You are very kind...


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## reefercheefer (Nov 3, 2009)

The want of a partner seems pretty universal among people, i would imagine that it is an instinctual desire. Or its just because we are conditioned from birth to believe that the only way we can be happy is if we get married. 

another nature vs nurture question...


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

Because otherwise the inner cold becomes too much to handle and I freeze inside. If you remember how borderline insane I was when I first got here, that's what it's like when my heart freezes and I run out of hope. It's horrible. Do you know how bad it was? I felt so alone and hopeless that it physically hurt like an empty spot in my chest.


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## SyndiCat (Oct 2, 2010)

Someone to tuck me in at night, and wipe my ass in the morning.


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## Indigo Aria (Jan 12, 2010)

There are economic benefits to having a living arrangement with someone.

and sex...

but otherwise, I don't want one. If I could have one of those double houses, and an ISTP loner girl. we could say we were married and get tax breaks, meet twice a year for sex, and never see each other.


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## wonderfert (Aug 17, 2010)

Because being single and progressively more lonely every year, for five years, has made me want a change.


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## enasbus (Nov 18, 2010)

Because I want to be with someone who understands that I respect her as an equal, care for her, and want to dominate her.


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## Aßbiscuits (Oct 8, 2009)




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## Quin Sabe (Jan 26, 2010)

To cuddle, To be close to, To see if I'm really screwed up inside, To express affection, To explore the possibilities and ways of expressing love, To explore the emotional depths and ranges involved in relationship. To help them with things, To explore myself and see how someone else views my deeper inner self, To point out any sub conscious things and help/allow me to work and be (my idea of) a better person, To explore all the paradoxes I'll come up with and balance between who I am and my needs and who she is and her needs, maybe even to let someone past that and gain that high level of trust, and did mention to cuddle with?


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

I'm cold and alone. A partner fills the hole in my heart. When it doesn't get filled, I feel it physically. It hurts, and I feel chilled so that I have to put on a sweater even on a mild day.


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## KateAusten (Feb 6, 2010)

I never really want a partner. I'm not inclined to compromise and cooperation when it's not necessary (i.e. it's necessary at work), which are pretty much what the word "partner" entails. I've always felt it somehow important to preserve the ability to do exactly what I want all the time -- not in a selfish way, freedom just always felt like the highest ideal and my particular path in life. I guess it's the 7w8 in me.

So then when I fall in love I get all conflicted, because I want to be with that person, but can't commit to giving anything up for them, which most people expect (and reasonably so). Even considering really committing makes me feel like I'm not myself and it's a bit disconcerting.


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## Skum (Jun 27, 2010)

It would be so beautiful to have a deep, emotional connection with a deep, profound man.

That way I could jump his bones and do whatever I wanted to him.


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## Trauma (May 7, 2010)

Gunna keep it simple and open ended.

Balance.


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## Midnight Runner (Feb 14, 2010)

Well, for a while I had wanted it because I was afraid of being alone, but after I got over my last crush I found that being alone wasn't that big a deal and that I was actually okay with it. Of course, shortly thereafter I met someone else here that I have feelings for, but hey, coincidences are coincidental. XD

Now, I really just want the relationship because I have said feelings for her. Beyond that, I don't really have any particular reason to desire a relationship, so it will really depend on how things work out with my current interest, and if they don't, whether or not I find someone else that I feel any romantic feelings for.


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## sunshinenfp (Oct 1, 2009)

I used to want a partner mostly because I hadn't had one and I thought there was something wrong with me. And while, of course there are things I need to improve, well--I actually don't mind being alone right now. I have some great friends and I like my time alone.

But anyway, I understand why people want partners... I guess I just don't really understand marriage right now (besides the tax breaks and stuff). It's such a sad stance to have on love, it's not romantic or ideal, but I guess I can't imagine someone loving someone forever -- romantically. I feel like people are constantly changing. I feel like a partner could provide you with balance and could help you to grow and change -- but to a certain point, right? Or at least, that's how I feel for myself. I just don't understand being with someone for the rest of your life. I think that's why I always thought I would get married later on... I don't know if any of this is making sense. But anyway, I am learning that relationships are all about helping you grow and see things differently (and maybe yourself), but they don't have to last forever. 

That said, I have some pretty awesome friends that I hope to keep for my whole life. But being friends is different than LIVING with someone else and sharing everything and blah blah blah. You know what? I think I'm just at this "independent, alone" stage of my life. (Even though I am extremely lusting after this ESFP and I wouldn't mind sharing my space with this person... but still, I don't see it lasting that long or even forever if anything did come out it).

WOW. Ramble much?

*TL;DR? "I don't know" is my answer.*


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## Strayfire (Jun 26, 2010)

I want a partner because my soul is cold at times and I really could do with a faithful someone to talk to always.


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## feefafo (Jul 20, 2010)

For the intimate friendship...and the sex.

I've never had a partner, so I don't know if it's really all that great.
I would hope the above-mentioned things would be present.


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## spiralsoutof (Jan 9, 2011)

When I was younger, I missed out on social interaction. As I matured, I was able to really get to know a few people really well, and it was one of the most rewarding experiences I can imagine. The thought of combining that experience, that of seeing a person for who they actually are, with physical attraction and interpersonal compatibility seems, well, like an eternal orgasm.

Please, forgive my idealism and naivety. Haha


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## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

I like that it makes me feel normal, I don't feel like so weird-- because I have problems connecting with people.

And I like it because it makes me feel secure and important, knowing that someone needs me and if I need them, they're there.

And I like that it's someone you can talk to about all the things you have in your head.

And, I like sex.


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## Peripheral (Jan 8, 2011)

feefafo said:


> For the intimate friendship...and the sex.
> 
> I've never had a partner, so I don't know if it's really all that great.
> I would hope the above-mentioned things would be present.


Same here. Couldn't have put it better.


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## Drewbie (Apr 28, 2010)

Partnership! Someone to share life and responsibilities with, someone to be intimate with, and to consistently be there for me. To have someone I can uplift and support when they need it, someone to shower with affection, and to watch grow as a they experience life! Human beings develop in fascinating ways through relationships and are capable of so much love. I want to be a part of that. roud: It's that whole 'bigger than myself' thing that people always go on about needing.


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## Wellsy (Oct 24, 2011)

*Why do you want a partner?
*Unsure, I imagine it'd come down to enjoying one another as people and being able to provide one another support in achieving our goals what ever they may be.
There is a degree of intimacy I think comes with entering a relationship with someone, or at least that's what I'd expect from someone I decide to end up with which I always crave.
I want to be able to make them happy as they make me and work together to get through anything.
To me there is no real end goal of a relationship other than getting to know someone and it takes a life of itself, how comfortable with one another will naturally unfold and I'll be appreciative for what ever they're willing to share of themselves with me.

So intimacy and team work.


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## Maidelane (Sep 21, 2014)

I used to think that a relationship "would fill the emptiness inside of me, make me happy..." 
After my last relationship I realize I was wrong: First of all, the emptiness or boredom that we usually feel is because we're not connected with our real selves and what we really want. 

On the other hand, being happy. Had you ever realize that when we feel in love with someone usually we love aspects of him (her) that we have in ourselves? Or aspects that we want to develop. The thing that I want to say is that that real happiness is inside ourselves. Sometimes really deep inside hehe, but we can find it. Usually we try to find it in another person because it's easier than do this "trip inside ourselves". 

Said that, wanting a relationship (for me) has been placed in a second place. I would like to have someone to share my daily life and this kind of thoughts without feeling weird XD but, and the end we only have ourselves and I think we must develop this relationship (with ourselves) first and foremost. 

Society has made us believe that if we do not get married at certain age, or if we do not have children, etc, we would end up sad and alone (?). Show me a relationship that hasn't problems. Some people stay married in order to keep this facade of happiness. Those are the ones that are sad and really alone. I said, enjoy yourself and your life. If you have the chance to be with someone, enjoy that too! but don't make that your reason to life for... or the main reason of your happiness. That person will leave ALWAYS: call it death, divorce, break up, being rejected... So, just enjoy it while you have, and don't forget about yourself. 

Now, answering the questions. Sex could be a motive for having a relationship too (sadly). I guess some people can't control his hormones and would lie in order to keep a warm side of the bed XD. In my case, I enjoy that too (Lol) but having a relationship just for that seems too meaningless... 

I would like to have a relationship in which me and this lovely person could share our real selves without pressure or drama. When we can enjoy our sexuality, being comfortable around each other. But mostly, that we could be happy *in our own and together* . No dependency, just love =)


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## changos (Nov 21, 2011)

Ziwosa said:


> Why do you want a partner?


Interesting how over the years things become more clear

I like your wording because you didn't mention GF/wife, etc. To me a friend is the base and everything is built on top of it, besides I don't understand how people talk about wife but they are not even good friends, to me partner is someone to share life (to me is a superior concept than marriage).

*Why do you want a partner?*
Besides getting the feeling of needing one at times (biology?) I believe life is good but not having a strong healthy connection with someone is like passing the planet without getting really involved.

* What's the biggest reason?*
I'm a loner but life is not that fun going solo. Having diff people is fun but you need to explain many things and it's like starting over and over, having a few stable over the years allows you to go beyond but demands a lot of resources, energy, emotions off course. So in that context everything points out to ONE person. *Me, intjs can be complex so... we really need to get this feeling someone understands us the way we can understand them*. It sucks not to feel really understood and having to explain a lot only to make one thing clear (we see things not easy to see).

* Are there any other ways to get what you want besides from getting it from your partner?*
Yes. Diff deep friendships but there is always a limit. Besides what you both can achieve, you can't afford having sex with diff people just because is part of it and specially not over extended periods of time. I really believe among all the connections there is always a natural need for one to be superior. I have friends and they supply (just like me to them) specific or general stuff/satisfactions to many things but one needs one face and period.

*Is it because of sex?*
Not really

*don't want to be alone?*
not really BUT been thinking about this differently. While many complain about intjs, many of us are givers and caretakers, I'm one. It sucks to help and contribute to others in deep ways but not having one going that deep for you.

*want to have children?*
at times, I didn't (lightly) then I wanted (deeply and also lightly), I feared (but overcame several fears learning how and testing myself, had a relationship with a widow/mother. BUT at this stage I know children in my case are a consequence: I don't see children, they will be a consequence of a nice relationship.

* want someone to rely on ?*
absolutely, been there for many and had many people saying interesting and deep thanks to me... I want that too.

* Maybe you just feel like you want a partner, but find no real reason for it ?*
I can supply myself many things but I know I need that connection. My mind can be very stable but complex, very facets (not personalities) and I can get bored pretty easily, many have a limit, we learn and two weeks later what was a problem to discuss is not a problem anymore because learned and tried to see your points. It sucks not to see that on the other person (for me) specially because I can provide it.

*When I discuss this matter with friends and Gfs they like what they hear*. Sure having more time and space than this post and a cup of coffee, but when I hear most people, they sound like "me me me me I want want want, need need need" and doesn't sound too confident or safe, many sound as they can break you, hurt you, and many like not knowing what they do.

Nice thread.


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## EternalFrost (Jan 12, 2013)

I want a partner. This year has been my first time dating and each time I was the one to initiate a relationship. Both of them I barely knew who they were and both of the relationships ended shortly after. :[ I don't want to seek someone anymore. Would rather wait and get to know people first or even have someone else initiate. 

I suppose I am lonely. I fell in love with someone the year before I started dating and I still kind of wish deep down I could be with her but it would be impossible for us for a long list of reasons. Ever since then, I've wanted to love someone like that in person but it seems all the people I have dated have been because of a craving of physical intimacy. Q-Q Never actually fell in love with either of these people.


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

What I want from a partner:

1. Regular sex free from the STD scare
2. Mental stimulation from someone who I know is always on my side and not going to run off after a debate
3. Added security - financially, emotionally and domestically. Basically, someone who has my back at all times.
4. Potential for raising a family someday
5. A positive and encouraging presence. I am easily excited by other people when they have positive energy, and I enjoy being able to feed off of each other for encouragement and new ideas.


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## Ziggurat (Jun 12, 2010)

For intimacy. Closeness. Friendship. Sex.


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## Yamato (Dec 21, 2014)

Ziwosa said:


> Why do you want a partner?
> What's the biggest reason?
> Are there any other ways to get what you want besides from getting it from your partner?
> 
> ...


Well due to my past im mental and emotionly scared , wich did leaf me whit a certain personality wat makes it hard to conect to others on a deep mental and emotional way even if i was already born as istp .
My reason for wanting a partner is to be healled , nurtured , cared for . this on a mental,emotional and sexual deep stimulating way out of wich its possible that i become cappeble to conect deep mental and emotionaly whit someone and build and sustain a reall love relation . Out of wich i hope marrieg and kids will come .


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