# "Died" or "Passed away"



## Snowflake Minuet (Feb 20, 2016)

Which do you tend to say?

Personally, I've always found "passed away" to be a bit of an annoying avoidance of reality/over-softening. I understand trying to be gentle about the subject around someone who has just experienced a loss, but at the same time, if we can't even except the reality of what happens in words, how do we expect to begin to deal with the very real feelings and loss? Sometimes I find myself reluctantly saying "passed away" anyhow because I don't want to offend what seems like the majority of people I come across who treat "died" as almost an unspeakable word. (I won't judge anyone for your answers, I'm interested to hear everyone's thoughts regardless of my own opinions, so please do share!)


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## Handsome Dyke (Oct 4, 2012)

I prefer "died." Intellectually, I understand why people use a euphemism, but personally I don't feel that it's important or meaningful.


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## Jaune (Jul 11, 2013)

Died. Just because it's easier and shorter to say.

I'm not sure if people around me get offended with me using that word, but I don't want to force myself use "passed away" just because some people find it less offensive. Though if it came to my mind before "died" for some reason, I'd use it.


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## Notus Asphodelus (Jan 20, 2015)

I only use "passed away" when speaking of people in general because you may never know if people can be quite sensitive with the use of certain words but usually I'm indifferent if people say whatever they prefer.


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## Eren Jaegerbomb (Nov 13, 2015)

Both. Depending on the situation/who I'm talking to.


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## Rascal01 (May 22, 2016)

In the presence of the bereaved I prefer passed on, rather than passed away. In every day language they died.


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## Ridley (Jan 30, 2013)

I use both, it depends on who I am talking to and how I am trying to convey my current mindset to them. I don't think it has anything to do with offending people. If I want to show personal attachment to them or to the person that died, I use "passed away", but if I'm trying to convey a sense of objectivity, then I say "died". Personal feelings and objectivity don't mix very well.

Although my favorite is "kicked the bucket", so I'll use that one as much as I can.


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## Scoobyscoob (Sep 4, 2016)

What a pointless thread. No one cares if you use the term "died" or "passed away". The point in being careful with ones words is to be respectful of the recently departed. It seems that only people who are somewhere on the autism spectrum scale don't seem to understand this global inter-cultural norm.


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## Schizoid (Jan 31, 2015)

I prefer to use the term "passed away". The term "died" is just too depressing.


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## Fuzzystorm (Jun 18, 2014)

All depends on the context. How professional of a capacity I’m in, how well I knew the deceased and/or the people who’ve lost their loved one, how it happened, the amount of time that’s passed, etc.

In general I also tend to be a little annoyed with “passed away,” but again, depends on the context. In many cases (if I don’t know the person/family well, if the service has a more “grieving” atmosphere), “passed away” sounds more appropriate and less insensitive. So when in doubt, I’d probably go with “passed away,” although technically I'd probably say an equivalent because "passed away" sounds cliche and lazy imo. The only situation where I would find the use of “passed away” or other euphemism unacceptable is if the death was a tragic accident, the result of crime/injustice, or if they otherwise died young and suddenly. Then “passed away” sounds like a lie since it implies they went peacefully when reality should be confronted in those situations.


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## 74893H (Dec 27, 2017)

Depends on the situation. Normally I just say died, but if I'm talking about someone the person I'm talking to knows I try to be tactful so I'll either use some kind of euphemism or avoid referring to it entirely. Sometimes I'll say passed away but that kind of sounds like I'm trying too hard. 'Died' feels dismissive in that situation though.


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## Lucan1010 (Jul 23, 2018)

Depends on who I'm talking to, I'm a "know thy audience" type of guy. Generally, though, I say "died".


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## flamesabers (Nov 20, 2012)

I use them interchangeably.


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## Strelnikov (Jan 19, 2018)

I wanted to vote "kicked the bucket" 

Or another expression in my native language "turned the corner"


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## Rainbowz (May 29, 2017)

Fuzzystorm said:


> All depends on the context. How professional of a capacity I’m in, how well I knew the deceased and/or the people who’ve lost their loved one, how it happened, the amount of time that’s passed, etc.
> 
> In general I also tend to be a little annoyed with “passed away,” but again, depends on the context. In many cases (if I don’t know the person/family well, if the service has a more “grieving” atmosphere), “passed away” sounds more appropriate and less insensitive. So when in doubt, I’d probably go with “passed away,” although technically I'd probably say an equivalent because "passed away" sounds cliche and lazy imo. The only situation where I would find the use of “passed away” or other euphemism unacceptable is if the death was a tragic accident, the result of crime/injustice, or if they otherwise died young and suddenly. Then “passed away” sounds like a lie since it implies they went peacefully when reality should be confronted in those situations.


I agree with this 100%. I only use "passed away" if the person died of old age or something. When it comes to say death from a car crash, "died" just sounds a lot more appropriate to me. Using "passed away" just doesn't sound right for some reason. I can't really put my finger on it.


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## Sunshower127 (Mar 5, 2018)

Either, depends on the context. Passed away would be my go to if trying to soften the language (all about that Fe). But if they died by some horrifying method I would say died because passed away wouldn't fit.


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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)

They died. If a work or formal email they passed away. Either way, they are dead, how do you sugar coat that?


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## Muriel (Aug 12, 2018)

Agree that whatever expression, phrase, word we use, the person is dead, not alive.


Media , formal or colloquial situations might inform word choice - such as killed, murdered, assassinated, peaceful or violent indicators of death causes.

Also agree with relationship to deceased - kicked the bucket could be an appropriate phrase, just as valid as any other expression of sympathy or condolences.

Tend to used died, but when with people who say passed away, I'll go with the flow.

Interesting that different cultures can use similar phrasing to indicate different results. Turned the corner means person rallied, didn't die, in Australia.


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## Atom (Jul 20, 2018)

Passed away is just another way of saying died, not the other way around. And personally I find that sugarcoating in this situations is not useful and not appreciated (or at least, I wouldn’t appreciate it) so I just use died. I don’t think your sensitivity towards a person who suffers from a loss is measurable in what word you use to refer to it.


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## Wohpe (Aug 25, 2018)

Taking a dirt nap not an option? I like the sound of he/she took his/her final curtain call. Seriously, I'd likely say passed away to a relative or about a loved one, especially if it was recent. After some time or about someone nobody in the conversation knew I'd use died.


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