# I am Empty. What is going on?



## MisterYellowFace (Jan 22, 2021)

I am empty inside. I looked it up on google, and I am already loving myself a lot and doing things I enjoy too. I freaking hate counselors, so here I am. I am empty. Inside. And my heart becomes a void, sucking in all the negativity and loneliness around me. I only am not empty when I am around certain people, and there are not very many of them. So the majority of the time I am empty. I just don't know what it means, or how to fix it. What is going on? Am I depressed? I do love myself. A lot. What do I do? Opinions are appreciated.


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## Electra (Oct 24, 2014)

Can you describe your emptyness feeling more? Is it lonelyness? Sadness? Grief? Boredom?


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## MisterYellowFace (Jan 22, 2021)

Neither. It is just goneness. Nothing. And It is not a good feeling. It almost feels like an inverse heart. Without caring, without feeling. And it only goes away sometimes. I am doing fun things. I am enjoying them. But then I go home. And the nothing is back. It is kind of like, the force in the neverending story. It is just, the nothing. And then there are a few people who I talk to, and then the nothing turns into everything. Then when I leave, it's back. It feels lonely and unfillable. It is less like a depression. And more of a deprivation. I have something amazing, and then when it is not there I feel emptier than I did before I found that feeling. Because having it is everything. Not having it, is feeling normal, but worse because of knowing I could have something better. And that is what is eating me up inside.


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## Electra (Oct 24, 2014)

Wylie said:


> Neither. It is just goneness. Nothing. And It is not a good feeling. It almost feels like an inverse heart. Without caring, without feeling. And it only goes away sometimes. I am doing fun things. I am enjoying them. But then I go home. And the nothing is back. It is kind of like, the force in the neverending story. It is just, the nothing. And then there are a few people who I talk to, and then the nothing turns into everything. Then when I leave, it's back. It feels lonely and unfillable. It is less like a depression. And more of a deprivation. I have something amazing, and then when it is not there I feel emptier than I did before I found that feeling. Because having it is everything. Not having it, is feeling normal, but worse because of knowing I could have something better. And that is what is eating me up inside.


Would you consider to commit to some plans where you have a routine to meet peole on regular bases ans scheduel fun events with your friends/family? 🙂
So you have something to look foward to and a bit of stability in your life to fill some of that void


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## MisterYellowFace (Jan 22, 2021)

Wylie said:


> Neither. It is just goneness. Nothing. And It is not a good feeling. It almost feels like an inverse heart. Without caring, without feeling. And it only goes away sometimes. I am doing fun things. I am enjoying them. But then I go home. And the nothing is back. It is kind of like, the force in the neverending story. It is just, the nothing. And then there are a few people who I talk to, and then the nothing turns into everything. Then when I leave, it's back. It feels lonely and unfillable. It is less like a depression. And more of a deprivation. I have something amazing, and then when it is not there I feel emptier than I did before I found that feeling. Because having it is everything. Not having it, is feeling normal, but worse because of knowing I could have something better. And that is what is eating me up inside.


It makes me feel like I should have had it before, but I didn't. And know that I do. When it's gone I feel that what was always supposed to be is gone, and I am missing it.


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## Electra (Oct 24, 2014)

Wylie said:


> It makes me feel like I should have had it before, but I didn't. And know that I do. When it's gone I feel that what was always supposed to be is gone, and I am missing it.


Can you make the feeling into art? 
When you create art you can make a picture that can say more then a 1000 words and you get to take a break from the feeling while consentrating on the physical problem for a while...


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## MisterYellowFace (Jan 22, 2021)

Electra said:


> Would you consider committing to some plans where you have a routine to meet people on regular basis and schedule fun events with your friends/family? 🙂
> So you have something to look forward to and a bit of stability in your life to fill some of that void


Excuse me? Did you just say what I thought you said?! Routine?! Stability?! Plans!? SCHEDULE!?! Sorry. I'm joking. Just a little ISFP humor. 😆 I really do loathe routines and schedules, though. The stereotype is not wrong. Fun? Events? That is a plus. But like a said. I am already doing things like this. Fun events, quality time. It doesn't help fill the void though. I can only talk to one person who can. There is another who I think has the potential, but hasn't done anything. All I am saying is that I feel like I am missing something. And I can't get it all the way yet.


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## Electra (Oct 24, 2014)

Wylie said:


> Excuse me? Did you just say what I thought you said?! Routine?! Stability?! Plans!? SCHEDULE!?! Sorry. I'm joking. Just a little ISFP humor. 😆 I really do loathe routines and schedules, though. The stereotype is not wrong. Fun? Events? That is a plus. But like a said. I am already doing things like this. Fun events, quality time. It doesn't help fill the void though. I can only talk to one person who can. There is another who I think has the potential, but hasn't done anything. All I am saying is that I feel like I am missing something. And I can't get it all the way yet.


Hehehehe 😄 Well unfortunetly good feelings comes in moments at a time with pauses in between 🙂 You are so young, you have like, all.the.time.in.the.world to figure this out and hunt down that feeling 😃 Are you feeling a bit anxious? Hyper? Maybe you miss to be with your loved one (s). Maybe you are an introvert and have only so much energy to expand before you become drained, maybe you have little in common with lots of people, etc. Maybe its hard for you to focus on their conversations so you end up feeling left out or lonely, not connecting enough? Just guessing here


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## MisterYellowFace (Jan 22, 2021)

Electra said:


> Can you make the feeling into art?
> When you create art you can make a picture that can say more then a 1000 words and you get to take a break from the feeling while consentrating on the physical problem for a while...


Doesn't work like that. I feel like that would make matters worse. A visual description of how it feels... I would probably just look at it every day and sulk.


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## MisterYellowFace (Jan 22, 2021)

Electra said:


> Hehehehe 😄 Well unfortunetly good feelings comes in moments at a time with pauses in between 🙂 You are so young, you have like, all.the.time.in.the.world to figure this out and hunt down that feeling 😃


? Meaning?


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## MisterYellowFace (Jan 22, 2021)

Wylie said:


> Doesn't work like that. I feel like that would make matters worse. A visual description of how it feels... I would probably just look at it every day and sulk.


Also. I feel like it would be literally undrawable. No Picasso in the world could make it.


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## Electra (Oct 24, 2014)

Wylie said:


> Doesn't work like that. I feel like that would make matters worse. A visual description of how it feels... I would probably just look at it every day and sulk.


Maybe you should pain a happy, safe or fun feeling instead at that time...🙂 only if you feel that it could help you.


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## MisterYellowFace (Jan 22, 2021)

I could make a metaphor though. It feels like I am a billion-piece puzzle but I didn't know it. And the whole time I walked around happily thinking I was a nine hundred ninety-nine million nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-nine piece puzzle. Then one day I found a wandering little puzzle piece under the table and found out it fits on me, then looked at myself and thought, how come that fits on me? I never knew! Now I am even perfect. But the little puzzle piece had a little life of its own and kept on coming and leaving, and every time I was with it, I was complete, and every time I wasn't, I felt like crap. And it is just like freaking Chinese water torture!


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## Electra (Oct 24, 2014)

Wylie said:


> Also. I feel like it would be literally undrawable. No Picasso in the world could make it.


You could make it really cute and simple. I've done it like that for lke a 100 times in art therapy. Sometimes I deside to work more on the pictures later too, when I get in the mood. I can start even with only a line...then another one...then another one...then I pick a color that suits my mood...a harsh word to express my anger, or a balloon to extress a feeling of freedom, etc.


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## Electra (Oct 24, 2014)

Wylie said:


> I could make a metaphor though. It feels like I am a billion-piece puzzle but I didn't know it. And the whole time I walked around happily thinking I was a nine hundred ninety-nine million nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-nine piece puzzle. Then one day I found a wandering little puzzle piece under the table and found out it fits on me, then looked at myself and thought, how come that fits on me? I never knew! Now I am even perfect. But the little puzzle piece had a little life of its own and kept on coming and leaving, and every time I was with it, I was complete, and every time I wasn't, I felt like crap. And it is just like freaking Chinese water torture!


That was incredibly artistic expressed!! You good 😃😎👏 You got a talent here. Don't waste it 😉


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## MisterYellowFace (Jan 22, 2021)

Word. Color. Shape. They are not the same as feeling.


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## Electra (Oct 24, 2014)

Wylie said:


> Word. Color. They are not the same as feeling.


You have a great point there.


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## Electra (Oct 24, 2014)

Well I need to head to bed. I hope you sleep (/awake) well and dream up (or think up) a solution...🙂👍 Lates 👋😊


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## Electra (Oct 24, 2014)

Ps. Wylie. Just one more thing before I sleep. I often find it helps to put on the tv or an interesting auiobook if I feel lonely while doing some kind of activity. Ok, going back to sleep I swear. Nighty night! 🤗


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## cynfalyn (Jan 24, 2021)

It is possible that you began to obsess with this feeling that is bothering you. The more you thought about it, the stronger the idea became. It is possible it was just a fleeting feeling, but by accident, (with no criticism, we all do this sometimes), that feeling which could have started as a simple fleeting thought, grew more important than it should have been. And if so, it's not a thing you can't fix. Your personality type is one of the most creative and imaginative of all. Slowly, just start focusing on even more things that make you happy. Good luck!


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Wylie said:


> I am empty inside. I looked it up on google, and I am already loving myself a lot and doing things I enjoy too. I freaking hate counselors, so here I am. I am empty. Inside. And my heart becomes a void, sucking in all the negativity and loneliness around me. I only am not empty when I am around certain people, and there are not very many of them. So the majority of the time I am empty. I just don't know what it means, or how to fix it. What is going on? Am I depressed? I do love myself. A lot. What do I do? Opinions are appreciated.


Could be a Fi-Ni Loop 









ISFP Fi-Ni Loop: What It Means and How to Break Free - Personality Growth


ISFP Fi-Ni Loop: What It Means and How to Break Free For introverted personality types, going into their loop is when they turn inward to their introverted functions. This isn’t always a bad thing, and sometimes it occurs under stress as a means of helping the person navigate whatever challenges...




personalitygrowth.com





Or you're in an inferior function grip







__
https://mbti-notes.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F128803785927


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## Celtsincloset (Feb 17, 2014)

Maybe its about how you feel physically, rather than emotionally. I used to have life crippling anxiety, and I have it no more after changing my diet, and being more observant of how I feel after eating certain foods. Maybe it’s your body telling you about it, but you’ve been ignoring the call.


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

Wylie said:


> I am empty inside. I looked it up on google, and I am already loving myself a lot and doing things I enjoy too. I freaking hate counselors, so here I am. I am empty. Inside. And my heart becomes a void, sucking in all the negativity and loneliness around me. I only am not empty when I am around certain people, and there are not very many of them. So the majority of the time I am empty. I just don't know what it means, or how to fix it. What is going on? Am I depressed? I do love myself. A lot. What do I do? Opinions are appreciated.


Everyone is empty inside until you fill it with meaning/distractions/hobbies/goals/inserWhatEverIsImportant2u


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## xraydav (Jan 3, 2013)

Wylie said:


> I am empty inside. I looked it up on google, and I am already loving myself a lot and doing things I enjoy too. I freaking hate counselors, so here I am. I am empty. Inside. And my heart becomes a void, sucking in all the negativity and loneliness around me. I only am not empty when I am around certain people, and there are not very many of them. So the majority of the time I am empty. I just don't know what it means, or how to fix it. What is going on? Am I depressed? I do love myself. A lot. What do I do? Opinions are appreciated.


I think this is some form of numbness that comes from existential anxiety. Your either anxious or you're depressed about your existence itself. 

That's also a cognitive distortion, it doesn't have to relate something external to yourself. 

I would suggest journaling and trying to identify new ways to think about events. 

For example first thing you can do here is challenge your thoughts, how are you NOT empty ? Why? What could you do to become less empty ?

How are you not lonely ? Why? 
In what instances have you been less lonely ? What could you do to become less lonely ? 

Be objective with thoughts that create irrational fears


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## AdelissaMason (Mar 6, 2021)

I think I have been feeling similarly but I have never found that missing puzzle piece. I am great at finding many things to do with myself so I don't feel it but it never completely satisfies just sort of numbs it. And then I am a J (or so I think I still don't know who I am for sure) so I get really hard on myself because I have values, ideals, and a concrete plan that I know I am supposed to be achieving (I am a Christian but a lot of the time I feel like the worst Christian there is)
So I haven't solved the issue completely but I do know I have dysthymia. It is like having low-level depression all the time. Not to the point you want to kill yourself or stay in bed all the time but kinda a glass half empty existence. Could be your problem too but I am not a doctor. 
And I love myself too in that I love my own company, I love the workings of my brain, and I think I am fun to hang out with, as In I am fun for me to hang out with not necessarily someone else would want to lol but I also have the side of me that thinks I am a huge failure, lazy, my intellect is dumbing down by the minute, and I am also the person who is ill much of the time (I have chronic health problems). I am also the person that, when catastrophe hits, I act and fight with all my might, might take years off my life, but I do it. 
Long story short, we are such complex human beings and I am trying to learn to embrace feelings instead of running from them. It hurts but nothing gets solved from running and hiding. So if I were you, I would look at that missing puzzle piece and ask yourself, is it just numbing me from the real issue, or is it what truly makes me whole. Do you think you are an adrenaline junkie who thrives on experiences and then feels empty? There are dozens or more answers to your question but you have to do the work, journal, brainstorm, etc. However, I know you don't like routine but exploring emotions can be exhausting so I would say set a timer and decide ok I am done for the day and do it every day. I am having to do that with myself because I can get too bogged down in things and it ruins the rest of my day. 
I hope you have a wonderful future with your whole puzzle complete!


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## Electra (Oct 24, 2014)

Celtsincloset said:


> Maybe its about how you feel physically, rather than emotionally. I used to have life crippling anxiety, and I have it no more after changing my diet, and being more observant of how I feel after eating certain foods. Maybe it’s your body telling you about it, but you’ve been ignoring the call. Living a life of wallowing.


I remember when being 16 I got complete severe panic attacks when my x-bf went home (he lived abroad). I would start to shiver and sweat and hyperventilate and my hands went numb. It got so bad that I had to go to the emergency and get anti-depressents! I think it might have been caused by the grief and unsertainty of the future, feeling hopelessness.


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## Celtsincloset (Feb 17, 2014)

Grief and uncertainty of the future, it can happen to everyone, as a child you would react to it more naturally, and you’ll move on and find a way forward. But where does this feeling of hopelessness come from, I wonder. What is different to yourself today then back then, I wonder.


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## Annie S. (Feb 15, 2021)

Wylie said:


> I am empty inside. I looked it up on google, and I am already loving myself a lot and doing things I enjoy too. I freaking hate counselors, so here I am. I am empty. Inside. And my heart becomes a void, sucking in all the negativity and loneliness around me. I only am not empty when I am around certain people, and there are not very many of them. So the majority of the time I am empty. I just don't know what it means, or how to fix it. What is going on? Am I depressed? I do love myself. A lot. What do I do? Opinions are appreciated.


I think I know this feeling. It's like you don't know what you want to do. Your favorite thing at this time is to just fall into an empty, hollow, sleep. Since you're an introvert, I'd guess it's because you've been around people too long. Or it could be because you haven't seen enough people. Try doing one or the other....
...Or what Electra said. Sometimes all you need is a bit of time to relax. Get everything (homework or whatever) done and just watch a movie and stop worrying, and allow yourself to be distracted from whatever is bothering you. This will help you feel refreshed.


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## Annie S. (Feb 15, 2021)

It seems like the problem is that you don't know what the problem is. Therefore creating a bigger problem.


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## Annie S. (Feb 15, 2021)

Here's something to help Introverts "recharge":


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## BlueViolet (Dec 14, 2019)

Neurotransmitter deficiency. Probably serotonin. Serotonin makes our brains register the feeling of satisfaction, gratitude. "It is enough. I have what I need."

You're going to hate my suggestion because it involves a routine. Here's what I want you to do. And be honest about it: Every night, go outside when the sun hits the horizon. Don't just stare out the window. At sunset, light shifts from blue to red. (It only takes five minutes.) At night, turn on only one or two lights at a time. Avoid the computer or TV after 9 p.m. Go to bed early enough to get 7 or 8 hours of sleep minimum. In the morning, get out of bed right before sunrise. Go outside. Watch the sky as the sun comes over the horizon. Sunlight shifts from red to blue. Go to work (or whatever you do). At lunchtime, go outside, when the sun is near its zenith. Dress right for the weather. Walk for an hour. All of this will reset your serotonin naturally with no negative side-effects. After you get well, you don't have to be so hardcore about it.

You don't like routines? You're going to make excuses? Well, then go to a psychiatrist, get a prescription for an SSRI (Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitor) get the wrong medication, try another, try different dosages, get bad side-effects, and end up dependent for the rest of your life.

Just saying... You think my suggestion is impossible to do?


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## Fennel (Jan 11, 2017)

Maybe that is not entirely a bad thing. Maybe you are looking for a much deeper meaning in life. Something deeper than doing things that you enjoy. Just something to consider.


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## MisterYellowFace (Jan 22, 2021)

BlueViolet said:


> Neurotransmitter deficiency. Probably serotonin. Serotonin makes our brains register the feeling of satisfaction, gratitude. "It is enough. I have what I need."
> 
> You're going to hate my suggestion because it involves a routine. Here's what I want you to do. And be honest about it: Every night, go outside when the sun hits the horizon. Don't just stare out the window. At sunset, light shifts from blue to red. (It only takes five minutes.) At night, turn on only one or two lights at a time. Avoid the computer or TV after 9 p.m. Go to bed early enough to get 7 or 8 hours of sleep minimum. In the morning, get out of bed right before sunrise. Go outside. Watch the sky as the sun comes over the horizon. Sunlight shifts from red to blue. Go to work (or whatever you do). At lunchtime, go outside, when the sun is near its zenith. Dress right for the weather. Walk for an hour. All of this will reset your serotonin naturally with no negative side-effects. After you get well, you don't have to be so hardcore about it.
> 
> ...


There isn't anything I CAN NOT do. I'm not saying its impossible, But it's hard. I am already on medication. ADHD.


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## BlueViolet (Dec 14, 2019)

Have you tried my suggestion yet?


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## cosmoetic (Mar 24, 2020)

I feel like this may be some form of depression. I often have the same thoughts, and I wonder if there is even a purpose to being alive. The only escape I have for getting out of this is I try to think about the insignificance of humanity as a whole. I don't know if you're religious, or not, but I don't believe in an afterlife, and that gives me the motivation to attempt to fully live in this life. The reason I say that, is because in the grand scheme of the universe, I am absolutely nothing. I have one opportunity to exist, and to have a body and mind that can experience pleasures, pain, love, sadness, etc. The chances of me existing as I am now were slim, and I see this life as a given opportunity. I try to do the things that I want to do, as long as it won't infringe on anyone else's right to live happily, and that keeps me going most days. Find what motivates you or something to work towards, and just go from there. 

I once read in eastern philosophy, feeling empty is a milestone spiritually. It’s viewed as a blessing or the doorway to freedom. When you feel empty, you become receptive.


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## BlueViolet (Dec 14, 2019)

Dissolution of ego. Nice.


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