# Why are you single?



## Grau the Great (Mar 2, 2012)

I'm a judgmental asshole who burns bridges like it's his job.

And whenever I think that I'd like to change, I just remember how "finding your soulmate" really just means leaving yourself open to being kicked in the teeth.

Considering I have lots of money and lots of time to focus on making more of it, I'd say that being an asshole has its advantages sometimes :3


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## Nirel (Oct 21, 2012)

21% "I want to be single right now" I never buy that.


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## nallyha (Apr 23, 2010)

so many reasons.................... amen!


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## Master Mind (Aug 15, 2011)

Nirel said:


> 21% "I want to be single right now" I never buy that.


Because, of course, your own reason has to be everyone else's (or at least "most people's") as well. Any divergent reasons are invalid.


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## Nirel (Oct 21, 2012)

Master Mind said:


> Because, of course, your own reason has to be everyone else's (or at least "most people's") as well. Any divergent reasons are invalid.


OK what I really meant is that I find it hard to believe that 25% (10% voted in relation) of single people really prefer to be alone, some of them definitely, but as far as I see it most of them are living in denial.
this is my observation from the people I know, and I'm usually sharp on reading people you don't have to believe me, or did I hit a nerve?


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## A Little Bit of Cheeze (Apr 21, 2012)

I voted "asshole" for general reasons. 

But, maybe I should have chosen "I want to be single."

I don't see how dating would benefit me in any way at this age. It's a waste of time, in my opinion- I have so much other stuff on my plate and I don't give a rat's arse anyhow. I am kind of disappointed that it's somewhat expected for people, in general, to be hooking up and fooling around with no serious intentions behind their actions.


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## Mr. Meepers (May 31, 2012)

So, I was and am single for "other" reasons (no box for me ... I am a sad panda-meeper  .... )

I was single because I am to shy and I was not putting myself out there

Now, I'm single because there is this woman I like and she likes me, so I don't want to go after anyone else at the moment (it would be too complicated) ... but, the problem is that we both live far away from each other and we don't like long distance relationships. .... We do talk to each other everyday, so it is not as "lonely" as other long distance relationships and we do video chat from time to time, but it is so much more fulfilling to be with someone in person.

That being said, we decided that we would meet each other in person and see how well we get along in person before we decide anything ... I mean we get alone great with long distance communication, but that is not the same as in person communication


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## ethxt_ (Nov 5, 2012)

geekofalltrades said:


> I answered "I'm picky." I so rarely meet women who interest me.


This. I could try a little harder to seek out interesting girls, though.


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## Mustang (Oct 24, 2012)

I've been told either that I'm too friendly and don't give off any sexual energy, or that I'm too intimidating. This summer was "too busy", haha. Heck if I know otherwise, I have a lot to offer that lucky someone.


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## hulia (Sep 13, 2012)

It's very difficult for me to crush on people. Infatuation? Yes, but it's a rarity for me to develop actual attraction towards a person and have those feelings stay for a while. I guess that could be listed under "I'm picky", but demisexuality is definitely a part of that.

Also, I'm not very attractive so I hardly receive any attention. Plus, I feel inadequate to nearly everyone, even more enforced toward people I end up crushing on, so I never approach or consider a relationship.


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## mental blockstack (Dec 15, 2011)

I can't seem to find and attract the types I really want.


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## Solrac026 (Mar 6, 2012)

HonestAndTrue said:


> What is keeping you from developing your social skills? Too busy with work/school/video games? When you're out at the mall or stores interact with strangers. You can start as simple as asking the time (don't wear a watch) or where something in the store is. If they say they don't know or they don't work there, hey, you said something and they said something. If you're comfortable with this interaction ask others their opinion on a movie or other product you're considering. If you're not comfortable with this interaction with people your own age, start with people older. Social skills are a learned skill. You can think, read and watch, but living in the moment is where the real learning is.


It true that socializing is a learned skill. However, talking comes as a chore to some of us, especially INTxs. Yes, I can simply ask for the time or what's with the hair, but half the time it's like waking up at 5AM to do push-ups.


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

I think it's because I'm a chronic introvert. Socialization can sometimes be a chore, especially going up and meeting new people. But the one thing that keeps me going is a setting with upbeat stimuli.

I find most of my success with breaking ice is when I can crack a joke. I'm really bad at talking about myself to others, and that really keeps a lot of people from getting to know me on a deep or personal level. The only time I've ever really talked about myself is when I need to vent or I'm insecure.

I'm also horrible at eye contact. I think I got diagnosed with Asperger's (I can't say the veracity, because I do have a capacity for mimicry and empathy), because of this, my hypersensitivity to sound and touch, and a few problems with distraction and hyperfocus. I think all of these symptoms can be explained by ADHD-PI, though. And that diagnosis would make more sense for me, personally.

I've been seeing a counselor about all of this, because it impacts a lot of aspects of my life. People tend to like me on a shallow level, but never really know me.


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## Kabosu (Mar 31, 2012)

I want to be single right now.

Why can't we be patient. Seriously.


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## Blacktide (Sep 16, 2012)

“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
― Dr. Seuss

I guess I haven't found someone as weird as I am yet. :happy:


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## Brian1 (May 7, 2011)

I think I would like a relationship,but being on the ESTP board has reminded me I don't need one to be happy. I also do not immediately want to know everything about another person,nor can I think of much to say in terms of relationship talk. This does not mean I don't care about other people, but I don't show it on the surface. I think that puts people off. I also think, people would rather be nice to me, rather than be a partner, at least that last sentence is what I've been told. I think it's other people's loss, because Christmas is coming up, and I have been known to be able to get presents people want. I just have a knack for that. But I just got through with a group...two years now, where the mood is 'I hate the holidays it's too materialistic.' So I had two strikes against me. People wanted just to be nice to me, and they don't like gift giving. So, the search continues.


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## Deamo (Nov 15, 2010)

Picked I'm Picky, since it's the closest to the actual reason..

Because I can't be arsed dating anyone.


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## Your Martyr (Nov 17, 2012)

I just got out of a serious relationship and I sure as hell don't feel like being involved in another.


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## Blacktide (Sep 16, 2012)

Your Martyr said:


> I just got out of a serious relationship and I sure as hell don't feel like being involved in another.


Your heart rarely listens to your head when you find someone that charms you. :blushed: Passion rules reason.


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## Your Martyr (Nov 17, 2012)

Blacktide said:


> Your heart rarely listens to your head when you find someone that charms you. :blushed: Passion rules reason.


Seeing as how I'm a feeler, that is unfortunately true. Don't get me wrong, I love being an ENFP! I just hate the fact that when I start to develop feelings for someone, I end up falling hard. It's a weakness and a strength, I suppose. But who knows? Maybe I'll meet someone that'll change my mind about this whole staying single thing I've got going on.


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## Blacktide (Sep 16, 2012)

Haydn said:


> I am single because I have really bad distancing and commitment issues. I often think I would like to be with someone but deep down I think I really just do not want the hassle of being with a partner and I am not even sure how to really be a good partner to someone either, the whole thing just looks like a ton of work & risks to me. I have all sorts of fears about relationships.


I know what you mean, it takes a very special person to click with me as well. You just need to find the right person for you, INXX types can't be happy with just anyone. The best way to be a good partner and attract someone that truly loves you is by just being your normal wonderful self.:happy:


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## Mammon (Jul 12, 2012)

Introverted socially retarded social phobic sunlight lacking friendless hermit~


Probably.


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## Cosmicsense (Dec 7, 2011)

The top three of this poll are:

I want to be single right now (bs) 

I don't know 

&

I'm picky

Judging from these results & personal observation over time, I would suggest that people are either too picky, else don't realize that they're too picky and make up rationalizations. 

Look, my poo stinks and so does yours. You could be getting lucky and enjoying the company of someone that makes you happy, sad, and in every which way colors your experiences with depth if you just drop your standards a bit. 

Collapse is realized by a lowering of standards. It seems we still have a ways off before realization is complete!


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## Blacktide (Sep 16, 2012)

Cosmicsense said:


> The top three of this poll are:
> 
> I want to be single right now (bs)
> 
> ...


I know a great 87 year old single woman looking to mingle, I might be able to hook you up if you are willing to learn how to use a telegraph.


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## Rinori (Apr 8, 2012)

Basically because Im too busy and im also tired of the whole relationship that never amounts to anything. Im just gonna observe in the mean time and when I see someone with true potential then I can take things further. Its not about "making a choice" its about "making the right choice".


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## mitchi_crash476 (Oct 5, 2012)

My reasons, ladies and gentlemen:
1) school
2) work
3) logistics (no car, no place of my own (live with my parents and my room is across the hall), little money (EVERYTHING IS EXPENSIVE!))
4) picky


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## unINFalliPle (Jul 8, 2012)

I'm single because I don't mingle.  j/k

Because I choose to be, I want to work more on myself before feeling ready to be with someone. There is someone in mind, there was a trial and it seems like I'm better off alone for now.


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## SlowPoke68 (Apr 26, 2010)

Being in a relationship isn't right for everyone. And even people who can be in relationships successfully aren't always happy in them. 

In other words: When you're accountable to someone you want to be alone, and when you're alone you want to be accountable to someone. 

And you're just generally miserable. So surf that human condition.


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## HonestAndTrue (Oct 25, 2012)

unINFalliPle said:


> I'm single because I don't mingle.  j/k
> 
> Because I choose to be, I want to work more on myself before feeling ready to be with someone. There is someone in mind, there was a trial and it seems like I'm better off alone for now.


Self-work is always good. I don't think I'm better off alone. But of course with the wrong person, I'd be better off alone.


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## Jamie.Ether (Jul 1, 2011)

I wouldn't say "I'm picky" but I do have standards. I'm a Christian and getting to the age where I need to see myself being able to possibly raise a family with someone in the future. I meet guys I can connect with, but having opposing morals just isn't a real option anymore [which can make me sad sometimes]. 
Also, I just got a new job and have been busy. I have some things I want to work on in my own life before I start thinking about adding someone else.


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## KeyserSoze (Nov 2, 2012)

I tend lie to myself justifying my current singleness by introversion and high standards but it's actually all comes down to laziness and internet porn.


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## The Nightwalker (Oct 24, 2012)

I almost picked the 'I'm a bitch' option! Till I realised there was a far more apt 'I'm an arsehole' option. Thank god I didn't make that mistake.


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## Inveniet (Aug 21, 2009)

Yeah I'm a bit picky...
Right now I'm trying to match up the MBTI/Enneagram to the patterns I see in my earlier love life.
I'm trying to get what went wrong for type reasons and what went wrong because of other factors.
Once I understand that I might be able to choose more wisely.

Anyway I have many women who want me.
Some more than others of course. And I'm just unsure if I really want them.
Some days are yes others no. So I might become a bit hot/cold.
But it isn't this hot/cold that you see players pull cause that is very scripted and timed.
I'm just flowing back and forth in emotional states and may land anywhere at any time.
So it sure isn't smooth, and it very messy.
So there are just as many women that don't want me at all... XD
They can't handle my emotional roller-coaster.
Hell I can hardly handle it.


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## Echoe (Apr 23, 2012)

Where's the "I don't leave my house/routine enough," option? :tongue:
Because that's what I pick. Maybe that and picky, or what I picture "picky" to mean, lol.


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## Helios (May 30, 2012)

I have no idea why I'm single at this point. But I really can't say that I mind it much. I'm not really interested in anyone right now, and I don't think that anyone is interested in me.


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## Arbite (Dec 26, 2010)

There is no 'because I hate most women' option.

EDIT clarification: Due to circumstance and history, I have a tendency to distrust females. Once you've had a girl claim you've sexually assaulted her, it's kind of hard to go back to normality.


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## HonestAndTrue (Oct 25, 2012)

Arbite said:


> There is no 'because I hate most women' option.
> 
> EDIT clarification: Due to circumstance and history, I have a tendency to distrust females. Once you've had a girl claim you've sexually assaulted her, it's kind of hard to go back to normality.


If you don't want to be single, I'd pick the most appropriate out of "I'm picky" and "I'm heartbroken". "I'm picky" if it's more finding a trustworthy woman (external), and "I'm heartbroken" if it's more first being able to trust any woman (internal).

I hope it's more what you said in your clarification, you don't actually hate, but as you said distrust. I personally have never been outright accused of such, but as most women prefer men to act first and they'll react second, the responsibility is always on the man. It's no small thing to trust and thereby make yourself vulnerable by being the first to act. I have clear memories where my actions could have easily lead to a false accusation. And it's not even safe in marriage today as a husband can be found guilty of sexual assault against his own wife. 

I could say much more but I'll hold my tongue a bit in this thread. Sorry you've experienced that.


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