# I'm SUFFERING...



## TheCuttlefish (Sep 8, 2011)

I don't really know how to start with this...
My childhood friend... The person I thought of like my sister... She's killed herself... Because she didn't feel loved... And I hadn't talked to her for a few days before she did it... I feel so guilty... I feel like this is my fault.... I was like her brother and I had neglected her... I loved her... And I caused her to kill herself... Please... I need help... My heart is broken... I feel like I'm going to go insane...


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## Ace Face (Nov 13, 2011)

Woah, woah, woah. DO NOT blame yourself. This is NOT your fault. 

I'm going to send you a private message.


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## prplchknz (Nov 30, 2010)

dude, that's really rough I'm sorry  I don't know what to say


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

I'm sad to hear about your traumatic loss of someone you loved so much. _How overwhelming to feel a lot of mixed up emotions so suddenly._. It's not your fault!

I hope that you can take off some time to remember all the special moments you shared with her in spirit. My prayers to her, you and her family.


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## Chwimleian (Nov 30, 2011)

I just sent you a PM. I'm so sorry, honey *GIVES BIG HUGS*


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

TheCuttlefish said:


> I don't really know how to start with this...
> My childhood friend... The person I thought of like my sister... She's killed herself... Because she didn't feel loved... And I hadn't talked to her for a few days before she did it... I feel so guilty... I feel like this is my fault.... I was like her brother and I had neglected her... I loved her... And I caused her to kill herself... Please... I need help... My heart is broken... I feel like I'm going to go insane...


If not talking to her for a few days was enough to push her over the edge, then it is likely her problems were something a lot bigger than just not having you there. Something caused her pain to exceed her coping mechanisms, but even if you feel responsible, it probably wasn't you. I can't even imagine how awful it would be to lose someone that way. Take as long as you need to process your grief, and if you ever need someone to talk to, we are all here for you. Pm me if you want.


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## LotusBlossom (Apr 2, 2011)

OMG I'm SORRY to hear that!


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

I am so sorry to hear that. Please try to find someone to talk to in your life who may be able to give you help, support, and guidance.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

I'm sorry to hear that.

It's not your fault that she killed herself. Sometimes even the closest people to someone who commits suicide don't realise how close that person might be to ending their own lives. There's been some very good responses already to this thread, especially Snail's, and I think you should contemplate the things said to you in this thread, because blaming yourself for the suicide of your friend is not only pointless, it will cause you psychological damage and pain. If someone wants to kill themselves, and I mean actually do the act itself, then there's no way you or anyone could be blamed.


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## Cetanu (Jan 20, 2012)

TheCuttlefish said:


> I don't really know how to start with this...
> My childhood friend... The person I thought of like my sister... She's killed herself... Because she didn't feel loved... And I hadn't talked to her for a few days before she did it... I feel so guilty... I feel like this is my fault.... I was like her brother and I had neglected her... I loved her... And I caused her to kill herself... Please... I need help... My heart is broken... I feel like I'm going to go insane...


@TheCuttlefish

It is not your fault. It is okay to feel bad but you do not have to suffer or feel guilty - from the sounds of it you did not know this was going to happen - you did *not* do anything wrong.

_Be strong and talk to your loved ones._


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

Therapy.

I doubt this forum will be of much help, given your state of mind regarding the situation at hand.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

Please know that it wasn't your fault. You couldn't have prevented it, one way or another. She didn't die because you neglected her; she took her life because her grief exceeded her ability to cope. Feelings of guilt, shame, anger as well as trauma are normal among suicide grievers. Please don't keep your feelings to yourself. Find a counselor you can talk to. Also, look up a suicide prevention hotline in your area. They often provide support for suicide survivors. If you want, I could help you look this information up. Confide in your loved ones, and just have faith. It's difficult; it's unbearably painful, but it's also transient. You will recover from it. I promise. 

Please PM me anytime you like. I'll respond ASAP. *hugs* Don't forget to take care of yourself.

P.S. If you're in America, call the number on this page: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/Default.aspx
A trained counselor will be there to help you. You need to make use of this free and accessible resource. If you're not in America, let me know.


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## TheGirlWithTheCurls (Feb 2, 2012)

I am so, so sorry, I can't even imagine how you're feeling right now. But this is NOT your fault at all, you have to remember that no matter how much you FEEL like this is your fault, there was nothing else you could have done for your friend. There would have been a number of things involving her to feel like she did, and I promise that you didn't do anything wrong, really. Stay strong.


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## caramel_choctop (Sep 20, 2010)

Hey @TheCuttlefish, I know this is late, but it is not your fault that she died.
And I'm sorry for what happened. 
Just wanted to give you my condolences.


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