# Introvert to ambivert (Or socially active introvert)



## roxtehproxy (Sep 9, 2009)

This may sound crazy, but as an introvert myself i've always spent time alone. No going out or anything. While my youth is right in front of me, I reckon it would be wise to spend more time in authentic friendships. I mean, the anxiety and social retard-ism is still there, but I remember what an ecstasy it is to go out during this one time of life where I didn't seem so self-absorbed and reflective. Is there any way to act in an extroverted sense? Not outgoing as such, I'd like to be the cool muso dude (Already am, minus the cool though), but with an array of social skills and knowledge on media/artists and all the things other people are into. Is there any way of gaining confidence and extensive knowledge on various subjects? I wish to talk more and be less reserved. The introspective habbits have gotten the best of me, I think it's time to get out of my fucking shell. Tips, Insight, Experience or remarks would be great. Just need someones wisdom to rub off and give me info on what I should have my nose in and knowing the social morals etc etc.

Hit me, I'm determined to change my ways.


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## ImbecilicSage (Apr 29, 2009)

People who won't accept you, eccentricities and all, probably aren't worth getting to know on a very candid level... You may worry that you're letting your INTJ nature have you be overly narcissistic and/or elitist, but the fact is a lot of people are just really boring and never actually define themselves in spite of the norm, and again, most introverted intuitives shouldn't waste their time on said people unless they have to.

If you really did want to become more socially able with the conventional people, the best means of doing so is actually just staying introverted, as that way you could be considered "one of the crowd", as said kinds of people disdain any real character... I'm granting some pretty grim advice and/or insight I know, but it's what I have to offer and no one else has even bothered to reply so take it or leave it.


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## Liontiger (Jun 2, 2009)

If you want to be more socially active, it shouldn't be too difficult. Just strike up conversations with extroverts and they'll pretty much do all the work for you. Some extroverts are networking gold mines. You just have to find them, and you're bound to make tons of friends (maybe even some you can keep).


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## R22 (Aug 16, 2009)

Hi Smokey-
What has helped me is getting involved in activites that I like. A little over 4 years ago I started yoga and martial arts, and have found some new friends via these activities and have social functions to go more often than I used to. I'm also thinking of taking up pottery. I think that if you open myself up to things that seem interesting to you, it's a good way to meet other like-minded individuals & it helps get you out there a little more.


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## thewindlistens (Mar 12, 2009)

Socially active introvert? I'm a socially inactive ambivert.


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## Jerry Brower (Jun 9, 2011)

*Definitely Introvert*

Being an introvert myself, I can say that very different methods need to be employed in order to achieve the same results as the extrovert. But, it is possible to succeed, in spite of the common stereotype given to the introvert. We definitely have our strong points. We just need to know how to recognize them and learn how to use them. Social skills will become more natural if you are persistent at practicing them. Then, when were done with that extrovert stuff, we can comfortably crawl back under our respective rocks. No, we don't really change.


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## Tobias Andre Andersen (Jun 18, 2011)

Introverts get energy from being alone, which is great for emotions and art.
Extroverts get energy from socialising, which is also an equally good thing.

Each type can perfectly fine be the opposite thing, but won't benefit nearly as much from that, than being in their natural element.

Speaking from experience.


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## DarkSideOfLight (Feb 15, 2011)

Tobias Andre Andersen said:


> Introverts get energy from being alone, which is great for emotions and art.
> *Extroverts get energy from socialising, which is also an equally good thing.
> 
> Each type can perfectly fine be the opposite thing, but won't benefit nearly as much from that, than being in their natural element.*
> ...


Ok what experience do you have being extrovert and each type?


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## Tobias Andre Andersen (Jun 18, 2011)

DarkSideOfLight said:


> Ok what experience do you have being extrovert and each type?


With type, I meant either int/ext.
Being extroverted; mostly from parties, they can be really great, but will steal energy from me rather quickly.
Being introverted; from being alone, I can be alone and productive for ages until someone invites me to a party.

I like observing and interacting with other people.


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## DarkSideOfLight (Feb 15, 2011)

Tobias Andre Andersen said:


> With type, I meant either int/ext.
> Being extroverted; mostly from parties, they can be really great, but will steal energy from me rather quickly.
> Being introverted; from being alone, I can be alone and productive for ages until someone invites me to a party.
> 
> I like observing and interacting with other people.


*Being* not seeing. Just to let you know the most artistic and way to fucking emotional people I know are ENFPs. Then again I wish I could drop the socializing part in my case and get drawn in my Ti, but it is impossible to get by without signs of depression. I have meaningless interactions just to recharge my batteries. Unfortunately, I cannot be perfectly fine introverting.

I think when you were writing about "natural element" it was in the context of introversion-extroversion difference, but speaking of types I had impression that you were talking about functions so just to make sure I cover all of it Ni and Te don't really work for me. Using/mimicking/shadowing those functions is worst then pointless.

Observing and interacting is one thing. Walking in someone's shoes is a different story. The point I make here is that all you can experience is JUST your own perception of what your senses are able to gather. I doubt you will be able to see the world with my eyes, which leads to one conclusion that experience on this side of power is not attainable for you.


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## Tobias Andre Andersen (Jun 18, 2011)

DarkSideOfLight said:


> *Being* not seeing. Just to let you know the most artistic and way to fucking emotional people I know are ENFPs. Then again I wish I could drop the socializing part in my case and get drawn in my Ti, but it is impossible to get by without signs of depression. I have meaningless interactions just to recharge my batteries. Unfortunately, I cannot be perfectly fine introverting.
> 
> I think when you were writing about "natural element" it was in the context of introversion-extroversion difference, but speaking of types I had impression that you were talking about functions so just to make sure I cover all of it Ni and Te don't really work for me. Using/mimicking/shadowing those functions is worst then pointless.
> 
> Observing and interacting is one thing. Walking in someone's shoes is a different story. The point I make here is that all you can experience is JUST your own perception of what your senses are able to gather. I doubt you will be able to see the world with my eyes, which leads to one conclusion that experience on this side of power is not attainable for you.


I had a hard time not letting that last part hurt me, but I really think you should find someone that understands you. 

The other side of power? Meaning being social to recharge?


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## DarkSideOfLight (Feb 15, 2011)

Tobias Andre Andersen said:


> I had a hard time not letting that last part hurt me, but I really think you should find someone that understands you.
> 
> The other side of power? Meaning being social to recharge?


You see this is where the fun starts. I have no idea how this could possibly hurt me/you as well as you have no idea why I "wanted" to hurt your feelings  This last part works as much for you as it works for me. 
I don't care about people that can understand me unless I can learn something more from them. I would prefer to see what someone has to say, who actually doesn't as this gives more new information. The problem I have with feelers is that even when I'm directly asking for blunt, honest opinion on something with a 15min explanation that there is no fucking way in the world to hurt my feelings I still roughly ever can get that. But you know I start to believe what you wrote might be the simple answer in this case - "it hurts and stay away" haha. Btw what I stated here - in the part that you have a hard time with is a truism served in a direct manner.

Being social, being outside my own head, taking breaks in whatever keeps my attention for way to long just to stay sane. However you look at this I can give you only some logical explanations, because I have a hard time to come up with any feelings involved in the process as well as this "hurting" part does not make any sense for me.


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## Tobias Andre Andersen (Jun 18, 2011)

DarkSideOfLight said:


> You see this is where the fun starts. I have no idea how this could possibly hurt me/you as well as you have no idea why I "wanted" to hurt your feelings  This last part works as much for you as it works for me.
> I don't care about people that can understand me unless I can learn something more from them. I would prefer to see what someone has to say, who actually doesn't as this gives more new information. The problem I have with feelers is that even when I'm directly asking for blunt, honest opinion on something with a 15min explanation that there is no fucking way in the world to hurt my feelings I still roughly ever can get that. But you know I start to believe what you wrote might be the simple answer in this case - "it hurts and stay away" haha. Btw what I stated here - in the part that you have a hard time with is a truism served in a direct manner.
> 
> Being social, being outside my own head, taking breaks in whatever keeps my attention for way to long just to stay sane. However you look at this I can give you only some logical explanations, because I have a hard time to come up with any feelings involved in the process as well as this "hurting" part does not make any sense for me.


Two opposites can learn a lot by interacting with each-other


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## DarkSideOfLight (Feb 15, 2011)

Tobias Andre Andersen said:


> Two opposites can learn a lot by interacting with each-other


I agree to some extension. Probably that is the reason why you wanted me to find some understanding elsewhere haha.
I agree to learn from opposites as long as they are Ns. In the S department there is nothing really to be learnt and the only type here I really enjoy is ESTP which I tend to get along really well with when party time comes  But then again there is not too much learning involved.


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## Tobias Andre Andersen (Jun 18, 2011)

DarkSideOfLight said:


> I agree to some extension. Probably that is the reason why you wanted me to find some understanding elsewhere haha.
> I agree to learn from opposites as long as they are Ns. In the S department there is nothing really to be learnt and the only type here I really enjoy is ESTP which I tend to get along really well with when party time comes  But then again there is not too much learning involved.


Don't see the world as such a simple place, please don't... It feels like you put people in a box, on which you sit. If you get the metaphor... Not trying to insult you, but rather help....


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## DarkSideOfLight (Feb 15, 2011)

Tobias Andre Andersen said:


> Don't see the world as such a simple place, please don't... It feels like you put people in a box, on which you sit. If you get the metaphor... Not trying to insult you, but rather help....


Life is simple. Now I have better understanding of it. Let's face it we can find something better then in ourselves in every single person on the planet. The only thing is how long you are willing to dig to get there. I truly believe in that. For instance SJs as far as there has to be something interesting I'm not willing to play along with them unless they are working for me, because I know they are capable of carrying the work out in the way I want and even more make others fallow. If I'm clearly being perceived as superior (which happens a lot) in that case the normal do-this, do-that attitude has been dropped fine. On a flat ground I will ignore them as simple as that, because it is a waste of time for me.
Now, I have still a lot to learn in the F department and that is probably why I surround myself with SFs, NFs. As far as I would say emotional outbursts, approach, decisions don't make too much sense to me I can consciously understand that, predict behavior and so on. Fi is a mess to some extension, because you have to get to know personal values. Fe is an easy thing - let's take a look around. So far so good.

Then again once I'm done with that I will stick to people I can learn from with minimal effort NTs. F is on the spot so temporary S discrimination ain't there. 

Boxing people is for me sort of filtering to make my life simpler and I don't really care about how the ignored part of population feels like.


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## Tobias Andre Andersen (Jun 18, 2011)

DarkSideOfLight said:


> Life is simple. Now I have better understanding of it. Let's face it we can find something better then in ourselves in every single person on the planet. The only thing is how long you are willing to dig to get there. I truly believe in that. For instance SJs as far as there has to be something interesting I'm not willing to play along with them unless they are working for me, because I know they are capable of carrying the work out in the way I want and even more make others fallow. If I'm clearly being perceived as superior (which happens a lot) in that case the normal do-this, do-that attitude has been dropped fine. On a flat ground I will ignore them as simple as that, because it is a waste of time for me.
> Now, I have still a lot to learn in the F department and that is probably why I surround myself with SFs, NFs. As far as I would say emotional outbursts, approach, decisions don't make too much sense to me I can consciously understand that, predict behavior and so on. Fi is a mess to some extension, because you have to get to know personal values. Fe is an easy thing - let's take a look around. So far so good.
> 
> Then again once I'm done with that I will stick to people I can learn from with minimal effort NTs. F is on the spot so temporary S discrimination ain't there.
> ...


ah... You make me think about psychopaths, sorry, but you really do.

Are you happy? If you died tomorrow, would it be with a smile on your face?


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## DarkSideOfLight (Feb 15, 2011)

Tobias Andre Andersen said:


> ah... You make me think about psychopaths, sorry, but you really do.
> 
> Are you happy? If you died tomorrow, would it be with a smile on your face?


I wish I was one. It would be so much easier, but unfortunately it is not a case.

Tomorrow maybe not, but day after that yes. Friday happens to be a payday so certainly I would die with a smile on my face


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## Tobias Andre Andersen (Jun 18, 2011)

DarkSideOfLight said:


> I wish I was one. It would be so much easier, but unfortunately it is not a case.
> 
> Tomorrow maybe not, but day after that yes. Friday happens to be a payday so certainly I would die with a smile on my face


Here is a virtual hug and a cookie of understanding. I am out.


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## DarkSideOfLight (Feb 15, 2011)

Tobias Andre Andersen said:


> Here is a virtual hug and a cookie of understanding. I am out.


Now I will give you an insight about myself. I can guarantee you that I'm happy most of the time with or without hugs/cookies/feelings  Dying has nothing to do with that as it is a given. Your post about dying makes me wonder how many people would die tomorrow with a smile on his/her face  Here is an idea for a poll!


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## Tobias Andre Andersen (Jun 18, 2011)

DarkSideOfLight said:


> Now I will give you an insight about myself. I can guarantee you that I'm happy most of the time with or without hugs/cookies/feelings  Dying has nothing to do with that as it is a given. Your post about dying makes me wonder how many people would die tomorrow with a smile on his/her face  Here is an idea for a poll!


good poll


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## DarkSideOfLight (Feb 15, 2011)

Tobias Andre Andersen said:


> good poll


Feel free to vote!

http://personalitycafe.com/member-polls/59401-if-you-died-tomorrow-would.html#post1424961


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## ironic (Jun 14, 2011)

Here is my advice:
Stop trying to be something else just because it's the social normal. I know how it is to feel like you lack the relationships with people that others have, but consider this: wouldn't you rather have three or or four very close frienships than have twenty or more that have absolutely no impact on you? All of the people you care about are already in your life and the people who are supposed to get there will find their way in. Don't worry about planning everything out, life does a great job of helping you with that. Just be patient, have hope.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

Jerry Brower said:


> Being an introvert myself, I can say that very different methods need to be employed in order to achieve the same results as the extrovert. But, it is possible to succeed, in spite of the common stereotype given to the introvert. We definitely have our strong points. We just need to know how to recognize them and learn how to use them. Social skills will become more natural if you are persistent at practicing them. Then, when were done with that extrovert stuff, we can comfortably crawl back under our respective rocks. No, we don't really change.


Completely agree. I'd only add, however, that by developing social skills you can actually learn to enjoy socializing more and getting energized from it. Fundamentally, however, you won't change your spots and you'll still ultimately need to recharge in introverted solitude.


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