# The Spiritual Instincts



## Brains (Jul 22, 2015)

My notes for the reader: These detail the instincts as their own, separate typology that interacts with the enneatype system. Before you read, try to forget Naranjo/Chestnut subtypes as detailed in _The Complete Enneagram_ and otherwise all over the 'net, try to forget the sp = checklist, sx = intense kind of definitions that are often found elsewhere, and just see them as a new, standalone thing and then working with the enneatype fixations, not as distinct subtypes. 

This material IS NOT BY ME, it is notes scavenged from the old Enneagram Institute forums.

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*The Spiritual Instincts*

*Instinct is the central motivation of the whole psyche.*
*Type is a strategy for meeting the needs of the instinct.*

_Originally from Enneagram Institute forums, notes taken by Orpheus Luckovich_

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I just got back from Essence Emerging, an inner work group that meets twice a
year, led by Jessica Dibb and Russ.

This class we focused on the instincts and their essential qualities. It was an
amazing class, lots of new insights on the instincts, and we very powerful for
everyone involved.

I'm going to post some info of what went on there, mostly just what I think would
be immediately helpful, but a lot of this content is what I believe is going into
Russ's upcoming book on the instincts and therefore I don't want to share too
much out of respect for that. I'm going to post the intro and when I've got more
time, I will probably post more on each individual instinct.

These are some of my notes:

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The person we take ourselves to be has a foundation in primitive feelings that
produce patterns, then we try to find ourselves in them. We are not there, we are
here.

Gurdjieff had a metaphor of a man sitting on different chairs. One chair was
mechanical, asleep man, and another was the self-realized man. G said "God
bless the man on the first chair, god bless the man on the second chair, but god
have mercy on the man between chairs."

What we think we are has nothing real behind it, and when we're about to see
past it, we find ways to charge it back up again.
To be with one instinct, you must be with the other two.

Inhabiting just one instinct (the ego-distortion) means you're not in them but
only reacting to fears around them.

Instincts are the life-energy, and being so they are also about and related to
Death. Air-y Fair-y new age spirituality doesn't mean anything against the hard
fact of death. You cannot stay present without the balance of the instincts.

All sensations are in the body, all instincts are of the body. No sensations, no
presence.

Instinctual life has been usurped from preserving life to preserving the ego.
Instinctual life sucked away by patterns, when you free up the energy that goes
into fixated ego patterns (type), you have more life energy available, more
flexibility, and a greater capacity to hold more in your experience. Must be
present to instincts in the body. When who you are is your structure, nature is
elsewhere. When you say yes to life force, you put yourself out into "eat or be
eaten". Too scary for most people.

There is a price to pay for presence. Who gets the credit? It means the end of
specialness.

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*We don't have 3 centers, we have 5 centers - head, heart, self-pres, sexual,
social, those comprising the belly center, and 2 centers we cultivate - higher
emotional and higher mental.

Instincts contain billions of years of intelligence and are far more intelligent than
our ignorant and fractured minds.

Fear, shame, rage appropriates instinctual life to keep it going, and used to
obscure deficiency of the ego.

-Have you made your pattern the goal? Have you spritualized your pattern? Made
your pattern god?

*We attribute spiritual significance to our egos and to our distortion patterns,
especially related to our instinctual imbalance.

*Type passion runs with instinct. Passion + instinct feels non-negotiable. We think
God looks like our instinct. When we're not present we prioritize a particular
pattern. *Where are you making yourself a hero or a victim?* Passions run
through 3 zones within each instinct, wherein we are reacting to fears in that
instinct, not inhabiting that instinct. The self-pres cannot let life flourish, the
sexual cannot fuse, the social cannot connect.

*The Social Instinct is the most misunderstood of the instincts. 50% of
people Russ knows who identify as sexual are social because social is so
misunderstood and poorly taught. Sexual is NOT intimacy, one on one.
There is a one to one style for each instinct. Instinct has nothing to do
with the heart center. Social is more about connection than Sexual.
However, people's narcissistic wounding is projected through the
instinct.*

*Social is the USA's blindspot.*

Distortions around instinct feel real and utterly justifiable.

*All instincts are tied to sensations in the body, they must be felt there to
be present to them.
Self-pres is felt as physical sensations in the body.
Sexual is felt as tingling or energy.
Social is warmth or openness, a sensation of not being a closed circuit.*

*You have all three instincts, to function all must be balanced and present.
However, your last instinct is the one you perpetually talk yourself out of
or postpone. It feels like a burden or something you can't make time or
energy for. There is unconscious shame around the last instinct. You 'fix'
your dominant instinct by focusing on your weakest, not giving the
dominant more attention.*

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*Self-Preservation*

Manifests in 3 zones, each with their particular distortions. When the SP instinct is
distorted, it runs between _Rigidity and Flaccidity_ in these three zones:

1) Health and Well being - Health, rest, exercise, hygiene, attending to the needs
of the body. Becomes distorted as excessive exercise and dieting, eating
disorders, trying too hard to be healthy. Or comfort over development, a kind of
numb nesting, eating junk food, not sleeping, poor sleeping habits, addiction to
alcohol, ect.

2) Practical know-how - How to attend to practical affairs of living, liking the
basics of life, maintenance, repair, adaptability to circumstance, ability to work, to
put one's affairs in order, to handle the necessities of our world. Distortion is
workaholism or people who can't get to work (don't necessarily mean job), can't
take care of themselves.

3) Domesticity - maintaining a home, a foundation, a base or nest from which
pursuing one's passions and callings can be supported. Distortion is the
Nest/Tomb, never leaving the home, can't get out, hoarding, purging, or
excessively rigid about structures and routines - house has to be spotless, must
be in bed at certain time, eat certain foods, control of regularity.

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Again, the distortions are when we are not in that instinct, but when we are
reacting to our fears around that instinct.

Russ talked about trainings running late and all the self-pres start worrying about
how long it's going - got to get home, have to eat something, have to go to the
bathroom, training will be so early the next morning i'll be so tired. Asks, are you
really tired or *just responding to fear?*

How do I organize my life so as to serve my awakening?

Self-pres is the most powerful and basic force in the universe, it is the sustaining
of life. Drive to life. Will to be.

It's not just survival, it's also *thriving*. Sensation, not cognitive.
Body system reading the environment, what is the body telling you?
Conservation and restoration of energy.

It's not that you obey every call of your body, but that you fully acknowledge it
and act from a state of presence about those sensation. Not rejecting the
intelligence that comes through self-pres.

Sp is more important doorway for enlightenment because it is about one's
existence in the Now.
No identity/compensating state, sitting in the problem.

the One on One in SP (Sp/Sx) : Domestic, stable, trust, nesting, co-habiting,
coming home together, sharing, long and deep, comfort, trust, being here with
your partner, creating something together, marriage vows, sustaining something.
SP sex is about touching, body contact, sensations, closeness.

SP is trusting sensation as intelligence. Knowing when to conserve. Awareness of
time and space, "the appointed time" - knowing the appropriate place and time
(creating a sacred space) when called into action by presence.

Everything can be made a sacred space. "We cannot awaken unless we are in
god's household".

SP Blindspot -
Person feels childish, unable to rest, to land, can't take care of themselves,
always needing outside support, procrastinating SP matters.

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3 Levels of Development:

-Unconscious - *I will survive, even if I must destroy you, even if I must
destroy myself.* This is survival of the ego at it's purest. "I deserve it".
-Growing - arranging my life so that I begin to feel well and have the capacity to
function.
-Illuminated - surrender of oneself, energy and body, to be a vehicle for essence.
to make space, all space, for essence.


Example
SP 7 - I need lots of different things to make sure I have what I need. Voracious
about the basics.
SP 5 - Withholding SP. Don't want too much but I need this.
SP 2 - Pride, I have no needs, but I can take care of yours.
SP 1 - There is a correct way to be SP, this is how you keep a place clean, this is
how you run your finances, any sensible person knows that.

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*Sexual Instinct*

"Attraction/Repulsion." *NOT bonding.*

Manifest in 3 Zones, and distortions:

1) Edge/Aggression/ Pushing the envelope - Moving towards what draws you
energetically, drive towards what is exciting and interesting, element of risk, of
overcoming boundaries, destructive. Salmon swimming upstream to [blocked due
to guideline #4 violation] and die. Most aggressive version of their type. There's
an element of risk and exhaustion. Jealousy and Competition, over-aggression,
over-spending energy, can be heartless, this is hunter-prey dynamic. Everything
else sidelined. Recklessness.

2) Broadcasting/Charisma - Display, broadcasting one's energy and reading the
energy of others (not attunement - that is social, this is "where's the juice?"),
phallic sending out signals of one's "feathers", what one is all about. Trying to
intrigue and being intrigued. Peacocking. _this is not being aware of the other,
attuned, connected or bonded_. Where the other "is at" is social. Projecting
energy, trying to attract, "feelers" out looking for the juice. Trying to draw you in,
like energetic "pheromones".

3) Immersion/Fusion - completely absorbed, immersion, not just in others but in
passions. without the heart center it becomes spiraling, self-absorption, tends to
mix with narcissistic issues, tries to resolve left over childhood b.s. Male mantis
being eaten by females, male spiders being eaten by females. The question is
*what do I fuse with?* You don't fuse with just anything (there's a picky-ness
here... hunter waits for prey... finding the right game, the perfect mate, the right
spark. It's not connection. There is a specific intelligence to the attraction, see my
example below of plagues and arranged marriages), the nature of the attraction-
immersion is that there is a specific something that draws attraction and
immersion is sought in.

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Once resources are gathered by SP, they want to be used, activated. Doing
something with them is social.

-Russ said about 50 percent of people who think they're sexual aren't, social in
most cases, misunderstanding the two instincts, which is not their fault, fault of
[blocked due to guideline #4 violation] teachings.

Being turned on, spending energy, driven to spend energy, not a choice.
Chemistry and fusion, not intimacy.

-Attracting and being attracted. Also *repelling*. Time to hunt, mate and go out -
aggression and competition - Display - flowers are an example.

-In presence, we're drawn to what makes more life and energy, when we're
distorted, we move to what gives the ego more energy.

-To be used up by existence, fused with essence, letting no barriers get in the
way. Nothing stops you from union with the beloved.
Surrender, obliterated by beloved, going all the way.

-In sex, we can't be intact.

-Sx is the part of us that doesn't tolerate veils and barriers. The transforming,
creative force. competition is the engine of evolution. Breaks things up, shakes
things up, sexual is a destabilizing force, but also reconstitution.
Sexual is the reconstituting of separate elements coming together in new ways -
creativity.

energy that gets us off our ass, fascinated.

Instinctual wisdom and intelligence - Jess and Russ talked about cultures with
arranged marriages, more so and sp than sx, and how that made those cultures
more susceptible to being wiped out by plagues. *Attraction has intelligence.*

-intensity - intense about what? intensity needed because intimacy can't be felt.
high sx-people have erratic lives

-social is affection and tenderness. sexual is an energetic synergy. The sexual is
not discriminating, because that implies choice, which is social. the sexual has no
choice about what it's attracted to, but the instinct has strong attracts and strong
repulsions (i'm not saying sexual is interested in everything, more like the
opposite - sexual is attracted to very specific elements, but as far as the WHY or
the pursuit of that attraction, there is little to no control. Likewise, the sexual
instinct has an incredibly hard time engaging with something it's not attracted
to.)

sx-last: postponing the sexual. Not that one doesn't have sx, have passion, have
attraction, but it's constantly postponed, corked. passion is kept in a jar. Sx-last
person feels unattractive, ashamed, unconscious "I'm boring and lucky to have
friends". Sexual can always be talked out of - "I would pursue this, but my
work/this person needs me." Seems disruptive or unruly. SX is done self-
consciously.

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3 Levels of Development:

1) Unconscious - seeking peaks states of energy and intensity to point of self-
destruction, or neurotic about where the energy fix is coming from, manipulating,
forcing, hung-up on how to squeeze most intensity. obsession with object.
addiction to object of attraction.

2) Growing - activated energy for creation and fulfillment, energy that undoes the
log-jams.

3) Illuminated - be on wave of creative life force, energy fully engaged in
awakening, sx generated in service of essence, the real juice is awakening.
complete transmission. Sacred Prostitute - Jess mentioned Virgina Satir - said she
wouldn't work with a client if she couldn't imagine making love to them, otherwise
there would not be a complete transmission.


some examples that were mentioned:

sx 3 "doing" desirability, becoming something to be the ideal mate. shaping
oneself into ideal mate of object of attraction.

sx 4 hardest time being practical, run by their attraction, "come here, see if you
can handle me" hard to handle pride. i'm not willing to be civilized.

sx 6 anxiety about attractiveness, sx 6 males can seem 8ish, not necessarily
counterphobic, leather jackets, motorcycles, bruce springsteen-esque tough guy,
but 'feminine' coyishness and being undone in love and romance. SX 6 females,
cultivating attractiveness and highly feminine with a toyboyish streak to
undermine it, 'protesting' their own strategy - "i hate being pretty" but also
wanting to be the prettiest.

sx 9 - conflict of autonomy and boundaries and fusion. Sloth and fusion. Most
aggressive 9, can seem unlike typical 9. Fusing, losing oneself in fusion, "waking
up" and reclaiming boundaries. Triangulation is common - "I love two people and
can't chose between either" as a way of keeping boundaries while also keeping
the blame off themselves for causing this conflict "if i make this choice, i hurt
person X, or this choice, person Y. i can't help what i feel."

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*Social Instinct*

_"Adapting/Bonding"_

Russ says it's the most misunderstood instinct and USA blindspot. Most social
descriptions probably done by social-lasts. Social is not just networking, hanging
out, liking groups.

The birth of emotion, link between instinct and emotion. Developed roughly
350,000,000 years ago when animals started to care for their young. Colonies
and herds form as protection systems for young. Link between parents and
children. Birth of social instinct is the parent-child bond - your survival is just as,
or more important than mine, your survival is my survival. To care for someone
and to receive care.

-Ability to create bonds that are instinctual.

-Involvement in others life - bonding and connecting.

-Affiliations - what to give my time and energy to, what do you serve and align
with?

SX- What you're drawn/attracted to
-Presence means being attracted to what you can say yes to.
SO- Choice

SP - ground of being - time felt as resource, chronos.
SX - dynamicmism of creative being - time felt as kairos.
SO - articulated world, conscious of the great mandala and one's place in it, time
as cycle.

*Play* is a big part of social instinct, _engaging for the sake of engaging_, not
needing a reason, not so serious. Americans don't know how to play. Play has to
be justified and regulated. Low socials too serious, focus too much on exchange,
concerned with 'getting mine'. Humans and animals learn and develop through
play.

*Connection to emotions tend to be warm, approachable, accessible.
Curiosity.
"Who are you? This is who I am."*

Social instinct is birth of altruism.
This is about having a call and answering it.
Egos lead us away from intelligence response to instinct.

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Shows up in 3 Zones:

1) Reading and Adapting - Discerning and reading people's emotions, states,
mirroring, how to 'plug in' with people, connecting to where someone is, not what
you need from them but where they really are. Learning, adapting new behaviors
- when you have a child, you need to be able to learn new behaviors and
accommodate them in your life.

*Discussion on Autism as the very lack of this capacity, with additional
compensating mental capacities. One of the women in the group is a researcher
at Johns Hopkins who studies Autism in children. Difficulty in sensory integration
in autism, not able to take in info of the environment because there is too much,
unable to make meaningful connections because too much data. This Zone is that
capacity to discern, to plug in, to connect.

Distortion - back and fourth on participation and support, staying connected in
crap relationships for fear of sabotaging being plugged in. Fear of banishment.
Losing identity. Going overboard to maintain relationships and overboard in
reactions to relationships.

2) Bonding and Affiliating - Create and sustain connection and to know the
appropriate nature of the bond. Co-dependency is a way we don't listen to the
social instinct.

Distortion - *group merging*. groups merging around particular ideas on small
and large scales. Individualism fails. Nazi German. Smaller example - our class
started side-tracking and joking and bonding over joking, Jessica had to stop the
fun because we had to continue on with the real work.

3) Participation/Contribution - Having an influence, a contribution, a betterment
in the lives of others. When animals and people can't contribute (like in
experiments or in concentration camps) they commit suicide or die. Something in
us lives by connecting to the human journey.

Distortion - Chronic Reaction to group values. Chronic rebel, chronic supporter.
Gang mentality. Consumed by roles. Fixation on affiliation - for or against,
ideology is human created. *Fixated on something constructed by humans.*
Identity is asleep. Outlaw.

Social Blindspot/SO-Last - how do I be with others? Finding ourselves outside
participation in life. New connections are a pain in the ass, visit or phone call not
a possibility but a drain "what will this cost me?" *Interaction seen in terms of
exchange*, like money. People and connections as burden. There is unconscious
shame - defective, broken, emotionally retarded, don't know how to love.

EDIT: The key for social lasts is not that they have to create or pretend there's a
connection, but to find the connections that are already there. the so-last will
think it's up to them to make the social happen, so they won't do it at all, but
that's the projection by so-lasts on the social sphere.

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Levels of development:

Unconscious - Collapsing into or mirroring group, denial of self, lack of self-
initiation. Chronic reaction to group values.
Growing - i have something to contribute, what am i serving?
Illuminated - surrender to finding one's place in mandala.

examples mentioned:
so 5 - plugs into people through expertise "the server is down, call Craig!"
so 8 - the gusto of comradery, ring leader of mischief, king or queen. The loyalty
8 - you do something for me, i do something for you. i would die for you.
so 7 - i'm here to do something amazing on this earth, but i can't decide what
that is!
so 9 - disappear into the roles i play for people.
so 2 - networker. "i know the perfect person you should meet, they can help you
on your project" - pride at being the one who connects people, makes things
happen
so 3 - social climber, person to know, top of social hierarchy


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

Brains said:


> sx 4 hardest time being practical, run by their attraction, "come here, *see if you
> can handle me*" hard to handle pride.* i'm not willing to be civilized.*










*

*


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## O_o (Oct 22, 2011)

Ho, good stuff.

<shitpost>: So much easier to recognize in others; reading the sx-last description just screamed my friend. He's even called himself boring several times, so the quote was amusing. Reading some of the so description irked me out; networking is scummy work (but I also auto-cringe at it because I think about it in the business context) and the healthy version of it seemed far less relatable than the distorted version (chronic reactions to group values, I against you, utilitarian morals). The 5 SO seems peach; having expertise that is relied on. I'd sign up for that. Sp 1 sounds amusingly stupid; idea of there being a "right way" to do such mundane crap.</shitpost>

The so and sx differences seemed clarified well; the intimacy with others fixation is certainly a hiccup for a lot of folks.


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## 0+n*1 (Sep 20, 2013)

Yep, I think I'm right self typing as a sp/so. Second option is so/sp. Third option is sp/sx.


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## Rose for a Heart (Nov 14, 2011)

Brains said:


> *Social Instinct*
> 
> _"Adapting/Bonding"_
> 
> ...


Yeah, a lot of SO 4 descriptions made me cringe. "Wants to be glamorous" lol...I have always felt like they were done by SO lasts. There was a lack of natural understanding of this instinct. More like some idea you create in your head about what it's "supposed to be," instead of what it is. 

*



Play

Click to expand...

*


> is a big part of social instinct, _engaging for the sake of engaging_, not
> needing a reason, not so serious. Americans don't know how to play. Play has to
> be justified and regulated. Low socials too serious, focus too much on exchange,
> concerned with 'getting mine'. Humans and animals learn and develop through
> play.


I loved this part! Even before I read this, I had always considered SO lasts as having this distinct lack of...playfulness.


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## Stellafera (Jan 19, 2015)

*Social*

I still think I'm a So-dom by this description, but I have a tendency to see interaction as transactional, which is described as a So-last trait. I feel like it's a mix of transaction and mutual benefit. It takes a lot out of me to stay connected with people, it's not something that I fall into. Daresay even a burden. But I gain so many other emotional benefits that I do it anyways. 



> Play is a big part of social instinct, engaging for the sake of engaging, not
> needing a reason, not so serious. Americans don't know how to play. Play has to
> be justified and regulated. Low socials too serious, focus too much on exchange,
> concerned with 'getting mine'. Humans and animals learn and develop through
> play.


I wouldn't say _justified_... "for fun" is a type of justification, too. Explained away, maybe. Like, "well, OTHER than fun and camaraderie and creating memories and feeling alive, why else do you want to be friends?". Uh, you named all the reasons, those aren't good enough? 

*Self-Preservation*

Seems to cover topics I am _preoccupied_ with but not _skilled_ with:



> SP is trusting sensation as intelligence. Knowing when to conserve. Awareness of
> time and space, "the appointed time" - knowing the appropriate place and time
> (creating a sacred space) when called into action by presence.


Case in point. Above description actually reminds me heavily of Socionics Si, which seems in line with my reaction to it. 

*Sexual*

_Definitely_ my blindspot. I like the description of trying to "shelve" Sx, that's very accurate.


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## Dangerose (Sep 30, 2014)

Innteresting, most relatable social description by far.



Brains said:


> Self-pres is felt as physical sensations in the body.
> Sexual is felt as tingling or energy.
> Social is warmth or openness, a sensation of not being a closed circuit.


I don't understand this tbh
Obviously I feel physical sensations in the body because I am a living human being but I don't think I feel the other two sensations, anyways don't you have to feel physical sensations to feel physical sensations? Like sp always comes first in this scenario
But I mean I have no clue how you 'feel' openness or...energy, extra energy, different energy, as a sensation? 



> *Self-Preservation*
> 
> 1) Health and Well being - Health, rest, exercise, hygiene, attending to the needs
> of the body. Becomes distorted as excessive exercise and dieting, eating
> ...


See, I can never tell if I'm sp-last or sp-first by these descriptions
I eat a lot of food I shouldn't (and try really hard to lose weight), sleep schedule's all over the place, runs me around town, huge problem, I feel like maybe I drink more than other people or more than I should, sometimes I try to be healthy but it lasts for a day, I'm always 'just managing' these things but I wouldn't need to if I didn't already overindulge or give in to instinct to eat more, not sleep at once, sleep too long, but it's also like I"m a child who can't manage these things



> 2) Practical know-how - How to attend to practical affairs of living, liking the
> basics of life, maintenance, repair, adaptability to circumstance, ability to work, to
> put one's affairs in order, to handle the necessities of our world. Distortion is
> workaholism or people who can't get to work (don't necessarily mean job), can't
> take care of themselves.


Well I have had a lot of trouble getting a job in the past but I think it was the economy, sometimes I feel like I 'can't take care of myself' because I'm so clueless with some things or I just don't pay enough attention but...

3


> ) Domesticity - maintaining a home, a foundation, a base or nest from which
> pursuing one's passions and callings can be supported. Distortion is the
> Nest/Tomb, never leaving the home, can't get out, hoarding, purging, or
> excessively rigid about structures and routines - house has to be spotless, must
> be in bed at certain time, eat certain foods, control of regularity.


Yeah, I like this, I really like having a home I create and a home base too, to escape from the world, I get really irritable and feel baseless if I don't have somewhere I can go and be alone and I guess comfortable at the end/beginning/middle of the day, for instance I never stay in hostels, always in hotel rooms.


> Russ talked about trainings running late and all the self-pres start worrying about
> how long it's going - got to get home, have to eat something, have to go to the
> bathroom, training will be so early the next morning i'll be so tired. Asks, are you
> really tired or *just responding to fear?*


Yeah, things start running late I start trying to create an escape plan, it's not responding to fear, it's that I like to do the things I planned on doing, it feels like being in jail to be at someone's else's thing for longer than I was promised I'd be there, unless I'm totally into it but usually...not



> the One on One in SP (Sp/Sx) : Domestic, stable, trust, nesting, co-habiting,
> coming home together, sharing, long and deep, comfort, trust, being here with
> your partner, creating something together, marriage vows, sustaining something.


All things I'm pro


> SP sex is about touching, body contact, sensations, closeness.


gross



> SP is trusting sensation as intelligence. Knowing when to conserve. Awareness of
> time and space, "the appointed time" - knowing the appropriate place and time
> (creating a sacred space) when called into action by presence.


I don't know what this means 


> Everything can be made a sacred space. "We cannot awaken unless we are in
> god's household".


I'm really into this idea, like every tree can be the tree in the center of the world, or this quote I really like:










Always really liked the Biblical quote 'take off your shoes for this is holy ground', for a reason I wasn't sure of, sometimes I like to go barefoot because...well I like my feet to feel the earth, and...it's all holy ground



> SP Blindspot -
> Person feels childish, unable to rest, to land, can't take care of themselves,
> always needing outside support, procrastinating SP matters.


But I really relate to this



> SP 2 - Pride, I have no needs, but I can take care of yours.


This has never ever been relatable to me

This was boring so just a couple things from the others:


> sx-last: postponing the sexual. Not that one doesn't have sx, have passion, have
> attraction, but it's constantly postponed, corked. passion is kept in a jar.* Sx-last
> person feels unattractive, ashamed, unconscious "I'm boring and lucky to have
> friends"*. Sexual can always be talked out of - "I would pursue this, but my
> ...


Not sure if I relate to this, most of it not, the bolded part though for sure
Though I don't really think of myself as 'boring'...I could be though, idk lol

Also, I deleted it but I noticed some phrase 'sacred prostitute', sp 2 description is so unrelatable to me but there's one thing that describes sx 2 as 'the vestal virgin' and 'the divine prostitute' which are really relatable archetypes for me

I'll just bold what I related to in the social section, there was a lot:


> *-Ability to create bonds that are instinctual.*
> 
> -Involvement in others life - bonding and connecting. I mean...sometimes
> 
> ...


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

Just a question for everyone:


> SP 2 - Pride, I have no needs, but I can take care of yours


Does sp 2 really have to be like this? Makes no sense to me tbh :/


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

Amaranthine said:


> Just a question for everyone:
> 
> Does sp 2 really have to be like this? Makes no sense to me tbh :/


 My post on the topic on another forum a few days ago:

*I agree with you overall, but in my experience, Sp 2s tend to have a loud Sp "love language" with giving an abundance of food and other comforts to their loved ones, in [an unspoken] exchange for their loved ones taking care of their emotions. It's not as clear cut as "childlike" etc... some Sp 2s can be very nurturing, mothering and mature.. but personally, I have yet to meet one that doesn't, deep down, want their own emotional needs met by the people they care for through Sp-style food and nurturance.

It's as though they want the people close to them to help them see themselves and help them integrate to 4. They can't "look inward" on their own, or they get too lonely or needy doing so, so they get someone else to take care of their emotional wounds and be a sounding board for them to look inwards.*


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## Dangerose (Sep 30, 2014)

^ this still confuses me ugh
I def want people to be a sounding board and all that but idk about the rest


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## brightflashes (Oct 27, 2015)

Read this after being linked from a different thread today. I think coming to terms with the ends of being special happens oh around the time one gets married or has kids lol. Adulthood is a great leveler.


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## Manuscript (Feb 12, 2017)

> Social is the USA's blindspot.


Really? I get why you might complain about the USA's social fabric being distorted or imperfect, but the suggestion that America (as a whole) 'is' a SP/SX or SX/SP culture - as opposed to some Northern European nation - is bizarre to me. It sounds like it was included for the sake of making a point.

Edit: I mean, I'm anything but an expert, but there would need to be something _seriously_ flawed about my understanding for this claim to make sense at face value.


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## mistakenforstranger (Nov 11, 2012)

Manuscript said:


> Really? I get why you might complain about the USA's social fabric being distorted or imperfect, but the suggestion that America (as a whole) 'is' a SP/SX or SX/SP culture - as opposed to some Northern European nation - is bizarre to me. It sounds like it was included for the sake of making a point.


I completely agree, and see America as decidedly sx-last. I'd say it's actually so/sp as a nation, so not the "blindspot".



Manuscript said:


> Edit: I mean, I'm anything but an expert, but there would need to be something seriously flawed about my understanding for this claim to make sense at face value.


Don't you know? Social is the most misunderstood of all the instincts...:dry: And how is Sexual instinct, not intimacy? I mean, yes, you can say it's more than that (and be sensational about it ), but it's like redefining what sexual means in this context. It'd be like saying Social isn't about groups of people, or Self-Preservation isn't about survival. It is my blindspot, though, and I'm fully aware that maybe that's the reason I feel that way about its presentation here. 



> *The Social Instinct is the most misunderstood of the instincts. 50% of*
> *people Russ knows who identify as sexual are social because social is so*
> *misunderstood and poorly taught. Sexual is NOT intimacy, one on one.*
> *There is a one to one style for each instinct. Instinct has nothing to do*
> ...


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## Dangerose (Sep 30, 2014)

I agree about America, don't understand so blindspot

just for fun:

America - so/sp 
England - sp/so
Ireland - so/sx
France - sp/sx?
Germany - so/sp
Italy - sx/so
Russia - sx/sp

Though actually it's confusing to call any country social-blind lol


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## Sparky2929 (Jun 2, 2017)

Huh for a bit I was beginning to think that people didny believe in stackings on this website. Thanks for proving me wrong.

I enjoyed how you compared and contrasted sx and so, which is usually what I have to do when I am explaining these instincts to people that I'm trying to type. 

There is a lot of misunderstanding surrounding the sx instinct as well. I have heard very often that it is merely enjoying one on one interactions.

As a so/sx 5, I'm happy that this post clears up how the instincts ate expressed through the types; I often feel that the 5 community is bombarded with sp 5 ideals that I have a hard time connecting with, as it is my repressed instinct.


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## Sparky2929 (Jun 2, 2017)

There was a part in the original post saying that these interpretations of the subtypes are different than Naranjo and Chestnut. I would like some clarification on this point, since they seem to be the exact same.

It's possible that people have been misinterpreting the Naranjo and Chestnut view point.

One point I'd like to make is that descriptions of subtypes without stackings are too general. So if you are talking about those descriptions by Beatrice Chestnut then I'd agree. 

For example, the Beatrice description of the social 5 is primarily a description of the so/sp 5, not the so/sx 5.


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## Sylas (Jul 23, 2016)

Brains said:


> *The Social Instinct is the most misunderstood of the instincts. 50% of people Russ knows who identify as sexual are social because social is so misunderstood and poorly taught. Sexual is NOT intimacy, one on one. There is a one to one style for each instinct. Instinct has nothing to do with the heart center. Social is more about connection than Sexual. However, people's narcissistic wounding is projected through the instinct.*


Good point! So many people will say "Well I'm not SO-first because I HATE hanging out in groups and I dislike groupishness" when it's not even what the "social" instinct is about and it was never meant to be understood so literally. That's how many SO-firsts end up typing themselves as SX or SP first.


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