# College Dropout -- Please Help



## Dangerose (Sep 30, 2014)

I've started way too many threads in my time so this will be the last for a long while, however, it is really important. I don't have answers, my family and friends don't have answers, but the clock is ticking.

I'm twenty years old and I'm living with my parents. Which is nice and all, but I feel like I'm a burden to them, and at this age I am supposed to have moved out. Besides, this isn't going to work as a long-term thing. I have a part time job as a home care worker as well as some other assorted ways of making money (such as having books on Kindle), this is enough to buy groceries and clothes and put a little (not much) into savings. I don't have any sort of career, not even a glimmer of one.

The bit in brackets is my 'history', you can ignore it if you like, it is just there for people who like that sort of thing.

[In high school I did very well in some classes and horrendously badly in others. At the time I could not understand why I was failing and I still don't really. But looking back now, I notice that the classes I passed in were classes I had with my friends, so there was that pressure to compete with them or something. After high school I did a couple of volunteer stints (supposedly building my resume though I don't think it helped) abroad, then I came back and tried to go to college. I chose a community college on the other side of the state from my home, and it was miserable. There was no one to talk to, my housemates were apparently all lesbians and total slobs and they were constantly at it which was just uncomfortable, not to mention it was the creepiest place. At first I went to classes but very quickly I ended up sleeping through all my alarms, never left my room, eventually quit my classes and went back home. Then I tried taking classes at the local community college, but for some reason I dropped out of those too. Then I went to be an au pair in Germany, at first it was great but then the family suddenly fired me without giving any reason, I found another family, they were wonderful and all but I had become really homesick, miserable and depressed and when a few other things went wrong I ended up practically fleeing the country. I decided the reason I'd done badly in college was because 'community college' has a negative connotation so I signed on with a nearby university, living in the dorms and all . . . it was summer and I literally had the whole building to myself, at first things were fine but then I found that I couldn't find the energy to go to classes or do any work, I was embarrassed to go to class after I'd missed assignments, ended up spending the whole summer in my room watching Cheers and Supernatural, listening to Wagner and eating Reese's candies and rice.]

To summarize, I apparently quit everything, I also seem to be extremely likely to fall into misery and become unmotivated when vaguely isolated. I don't want to be a dependent, needy quitter. I think I can summon enough willpower and stamina to go through with something, if I have some idea of where I'm going. But I don't. There are no careers that really appeal to me, I've never had a 'dream job' or any feeling of vocation. I just want a stable source of income. At this point I would probably have to take out a loan to go back to university, besides, there is a history of this not working and it seems kinda dumb to keep doing something I always fail at. I feel like if I knew why I was failing, I could work it out. I don't think it's a matter of stupidity, as I can generally succeed at things if I am motivated. The problem is the motivation.

Maybe the problem is not having a game plan. So I guess my question is:
1. Are there good careers I can break into without having a degree? Perhaps going to a training school or such a thing?
2. Any general insight? Anyone find this happened to them? What did you do?

Sorry for this long post. Just really looking for insight, which I apparently do not have.


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## Vayne (Nov 6, 2014)

Hi Oswin. We meet again.

I myself just dropped out of college in 3rd semester now and planning to enter a new one. Well, because the architecture major sucks with it's justifiable so called creativity which is i can't see nothing but utter shit.

About your past history, it seems you are pressed with other's opinion. My advice is to learn how to ignore them. They don't mean a thing to you. Accept constructive criticism, and ignore offense. Most people just want somebody to be picked on.
My suggestion is stoicism though.

1.) Entrepreneur. Business is free, and most successful businessman may came from college drop-out.
2.) I'm going through it right now. Well, naturally i just don't care and accept this is my life. My life my way. I may be carefree but i won't blame anyone and take responsibility. "I live alone, I die alone, No one will cry. - LoneWolf"

If you ever think you're alone in this, cease that thoughts. Hardships are a given in life. No pain no gain.

I have a lack of motivation too. I think your lack of motivation is mostly due to social pressure. Get your freedom, and you'll find your passion. Btw, i'm a no-passion student too. Thus, i figured out, whose richer ? The employee or the employer ? Thus, a boss i'll be.


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

Three questions:

What's your relationship with your parents?

Do you have any close friends?

Do you have a boyfriend (have you had one?)

---

Also, if no one makes threads asking questions, we'd have no one to answer. So don't feel the need to stop.


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## Vayne (Nov 6, 2014)

Antipode said:


> Three questions:
> 
> What's your relationship with your parents?
> 
> ...


Bump. 

That what forum do. Who care if you started abundance of thread ?

If no one answer it, you can mention the INTPs.

I assure you there will be answer.

Though it may not be the one you hope for. :/


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

Chou Masamori said:


> "I live alone, I die alone, No one will cry. - LoneWolf"
> 
> If you ever think you're alone in this, cease that thoughts.


I mean this tongue in cheek, but this is kind of ironic.


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## Vayne (Nov 6, 2014)

Antipode said:


> I mean this tongue in cheek, but this is kind of ironic.


No shit, sherlock.


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

Chou Masamori said:


> No shit, sherlock.


Mmhm, play it off as if you meant it that way.


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## Dangerose (Sep 30, 2014)

Antipode said:


> Three questions:
> 
> What's your relationship with your parents?
> 
> ...


My relationship with my parents is ok. My mother and I are close and we get along well, but my dad and I don't get along very well all the time. I also have a younger brother, we're quite close.

I have a couple of close friends or once-close friends. We chat a lot online, but we don't really see that much of each other anymore.

No boyfriend, never had one. sad


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

Oswin said:


> My relationship with my parents is ok. My mother and I are close and we get along well, but my dad and I don't get along very well all the time. I also have a younger brother, we're quite close.
> 
> I have a couple of close friends or once-close friends. We chat a lot online, but we don't really see that much of each other anymore.
> 
> No boyfriend, never had one. sad


Would you say you're happy, socially?


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## akilahluv (Dec 16, 2014)

You remind me of myself at your age. I dropped out of college, restarted, failed semesters, and waitressed. That was my journey and life is just that, a journey. Maybe, right now, school isn't for you. So what? This is YOUR life. I'm an English major and you obviously have a gift for writing. Read and start living life instead of beating yourself up. If you published an ebook, that's already more of an accomplishment than many college graduates have. Work at a bar, work at a bookstore, write a children's book, but make enough money so you can leave the nest and experience life. Maybe live with some roommates, who you will indubitably fight with, have a relationship, struggle to pay bills, and figure it out. However, take some pressure of. Every failure you feel, is a productive failure. College is not all or nothing, or any guarantee/mark of success. That is a load of crap. I waitressed through college, graduated and waitressed for another 5 years, before going to get my Master's degree now at 32. I have no regrets. I partied, I read, I fell in love, I broke up, I found friends, I lost friends, and I have life experience on a lot of my fellow peers. I have stories to write and emotions to connect to the literature I read. Don't beat yourself up--you are young, talented, and you are finding yourself--that's simply life and it's beautiful...there is beauty in every moment of glory and failure....don't form your identity on the notion of what a college degree represents...be innovative, think outside the box


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## Vayne (Nov 6, 2014)

akilahluv said:


> You remind me of myself at your age. I dropped out of college, restarted, failed semesters, and waitressed. That was my journey and life is just that, a journey. Maybe, right now, school isn't for you. So what? This is YOUR life. I'm an English major and you obviously have a gift for writing. Read and start living life instead of beating yourself up. If you published an ebook, that's already more of an accomplishment than many college graduates have. Work at a bar, work at a bookstore, write a children's book, but make enough money so you can leave the nest and experience life. Maybe live with some roommates, who you will indubitably fight with, have a relationship, struggle to pay bills, and figure it out. However, take some pressure of. Every failure you feel, is a productive failure. College is not all or nothing, or any guarantee/mark of success. That is a load of crap. I waitressed through college, graduated and waitressed for another 5 years, before going to get my Master's degree now at 32. I have no regrets. I partied, I read, I fell in love, I broke up, I found friends, I lost friends, and I have life experience on a lot of my fellow peers. I have stories to write and emotions to connect to the literature I read. Don't beat yourself up--you are young, talented, and you are finding yourself--that's simply life and it's beautiful...there is beauty in every moment of glory and failure....don't form your identity on the notion of what a college degree represents...be innovative, think outside the box


Better. Get rid of the box.


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## Dangerose (Sep 30, 2014)

Antipode said:


> Would you say you're happy, socially?


Not really. I mean, I love my family and friends but I wish I knew more people, and I wish I knew people who I could go out and do things with. But I haven't the foggiest idea how to meet people)


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## Vayne (Nov 6, 2014)

Oswin said:


> Not really. I mean, I love my family and friends but I wish I knew more people, and I wish I knew people who I could go out and do things with. But I haven't the foggiest idea how to meet people)


Go to events. This is your extrovertness job. :/


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## Dangerose (Sep 30, 2014)

Chou Masamori said:


> Go to events. This is your extrovertness job. :/


ok ok))


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

Oswin said:


> Not really. I mean, I love my family and friends but I wish I knew more people, and I wish I knew people who I could go out and do things with. But I haven't the foggiest idea how to meet people)


If you were to think about the objectives in your life, what would they be? What's the end goal? 

I'm not asking what does society want you to do--if society was perfect, what makes you the most happiest? What are your desires out of this life?


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## Dangerose (Sep 30, 2014)

Antipode said:


> If you were to think about the objectives in your life, what would they be? What's the end goal?
> 
> I'm not asking what does society want you to do--if society was perfect, what makes you the most happiest? What are your desires out of this life?


Oh, gosh, I don't know.
I guess I want a stable, secure life with people that I care about. I want things to be interesting, too, and I want to give more than I take at the time I die . . . I mean, I want to help people and do something with purpose.
More specifically I don't know haha)


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

Oswin said:


> Oh, gosh, I don't know.
> I guess I want a stable, secure life with people that I care about. I want things to be interesting, too, and I want to give more than I take at the time I die . . . I mean, I want to help people and do something with purpose.
> More specifically I don't know haha)


You said the high school classes you do well in were the ones that your friends were in. And you proceeded to guess that it was because you had someone to challenge. But I'm wondering if it is simply because you had someone there.

You're an ESFJ, so relationships are important to you. Most of what you do tends to be about people, and that's how you function, and that is how you move. When there's no people to help, there's no motivation to improve yourself. 

Why even build a fire if there's no one to be warmed by it. --thus, you never get around to building that fire.

Thus, my assumption is that you've been alone for quite a while, and you have no real reason to do much, because you are alone. To remedy that, you need people in your life. You need friends. You need to be able to see them. 

Does any of that ring remotely true for you?


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## rhoynarqueen (Dec 12, 2014)

Try learning to cut hair and do makeup! You can make a good living doing that, especially if you work for a posh salon. Most programs are a bit over a year, and are cheap and/or free in the US, and are non-academic. 

I'm actually considering cosmetology as a supplement to my psychology degree so I can cut hair while in grad school, and pay off my student loans.


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## rhoynarqueen (Dec 12, 2014)

Also- bartending. If you're over the legal drinking age, this should be an option for you, and being ESFJ, you should be good at it.


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## Endless Rainbows (Oct 1, 2014)

Don't beat yourself up too much. As a previous poster said it is about the journey. People go back to school a lot after a first failed run. It is all good. 

Just going to have to try different things to find something you enjoy or are passionate about and pays the bills. You say you enjoy helping people, have you thought of working hospitality or in the medical field? Only a year to get a licensed vocational nurse certificate. Test if you even enjoy the field. Very gratifying work but it is not for everyone. One must care about giving good care.

As for meeting people you will notice it is more difficult after high school and college. An option is local meetups (check out meetup.com) and doing hobbies together. Enjoy hiking? You can jojn the local Sierra Club. The world is your oyster, just put yourself out there and you will find it is quite fun!!


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