# Crazy Ex Stories



## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

This may be cathartic for a few of you. Here's a crazy ex story of mine. 

In college and living with roommates, I dated this really dense football guy. In the middle of the night he came over to our student complex and screamed for me out side our living room window (think "Stella" timber), then punched his fist through the window. I think he was too stupid to figure out I wasn't ignoring him, I was _sleeping._ But after that display, I found no need to explain things. 

Go.


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## Jojo (Jul 5, 2010)

Oh boy. Well I am a magnet. 
Ex#1 : Started kicking my car at my work, and the was casting a Death spell on me.
Ex#2 recent was had her first husband move-in, her second one she conned to give her 3,000 grand, and just a bad overall person.


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## noosabar (Mar 14, 2010)

Had a GF in my early twenties who would break into my house while I was at work, pile my clothes on the bed and sleep amongst them. About 3 months in she threatened to kill me if I ever left her. Guess what happened...


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## ENTrePenuer (Jun 12, 2010)

noosabar said:


> Had a GF in my early twenties who would break into my house while I was at work, pile my clothes on the bed and sleep amongst them. About 3 months in she threatened to kill me if I ever left her. Guess what happened...


She killed you?


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## mrscientist (Jul 4, 2010)

I think he married her. I know i would. Someone threatening to kill you is a sign of affection.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Okay, I have literally spitted out my ice coffee from reading these last few posts. ROFLMAO! Wow. You guys have totally trumped me. Damn, that is some crazy shiz..


Jojo said:


> Oh boy. Well I am a magnet.
> Ex#1 : Started kicking my car at my work, and the was casting a Death spell on me.


Lol. What the hell does a death spell sound like?


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## noosabar (Mar 14, 2010)

Ok, so the thread is called" crazy _ex_ stories"
I dont present myself as a married, or previously married man, or a figment of your magination.
You conclude.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

noosabar said:


> Ok, so the thread is called" crazy _ex_ stories"
> I dont present myself as a married, or previously married man, or a figment of your magination.
> You conclude.


Are you one of my crazy ex's? :shocked:


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## noosabar (Mar 14, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> Are you one of my crazy ex's? :shocked:


To answer I must ask these questions.

have you threatened to kill?
Do you ever go back?


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> This may be cathartic for a few of you. Here's a crazy ex story of mine.
> 
> In college and living with roommates, I dated this really dense football guy. In the middle of the night he came over to our student complex and screamed for me out side our living room window (think "Stella" timber), then punched his fist through the window. I think he was too stupid to figure out I wasn't ignoring him, I was _sleeping._ But after that display, I found no need to explain things.
> 
> Go.


Jesus woman, you are like a magnet for crazy men aren't you? lol


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## jack london (Aug 27, 2010)

Just a quick story...

I cheated on gf
she picked up guy at frat house
they break into my apt and have sex in my bed
I am an intj so I don't really care, that is the funny part


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## mrscientist (Jul 4, 2010)

What does INTJ have to do with anything?


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## KrystRay (Jun 16, 2010)

Wow... I don't think I'm anywhere near that bad, but I am one of the psycho ex's. But rightfully so. 

I dated a guy when I had just turned 21 and I had also just gotten out of the military. Really good looking guy, about 33, recently divorced, two little girls... Anyway, so we started dating, but I didn't really feel comfortable with him so I didn't sleep with him for about a month. When I finally did put out, I was sleeping at his condo and he left early to go to work. He wakes me up with a phonecall telling me that he wasn't really divorced and that he was going back to his wife. I replied, very calmly, "That's wonderful. I wish you all the happiness in the world." 

So I hang up, rub my eyes, look around and say to myself, "This place needs some color." Now I'm not psycho enough to break or steal anything- I mean, that would just be improper. So I just made a few minor additions to the place. I implanted panties all over the place, put on some red lipstick and smeared my lips along his shirt tails, sprayed my perfume EVERYWHERE (especially in the kids clothes, as they commented on how nice my perfume smelled), unwrapped some condoms and left them under the bed, I put some xanax in his toothpaste, and I left a really sweet note on the fridge telling him how much of a wonderful night I had with him. 

And then I left. I just left it to my imagination to determine exactly what events followed. Good times. 

Other than that, my last ex, after we broke up, I still had a key and I had to get my cat. I went over to get him, and he left his FaceBook page up on his computer. Inquiring minds were interested in what he was up to. He was talking to the NASTIEST girl I've ever seen and she had sent him some "sexy" pics. I copied and pasted their conversation exchanges as well as the pics she sent him and sent it to everyone on his email blast list.  

Don't fuck with an angry woman.


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## Black Rabbit (Apr 15, 2010)

Greetings from prison.









No, actually nothing compares to what's been mentioned here. Thought I'd chime in just so I could subscribe to this thread.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

One of my exs told me that the first time he hung out with me, he saved the pieces of my hair that he found in my room, and wrapped them around his dick when I was out of the room. I didn't bother asking why.. (isfp)

Another time, an ex pulled my hair really hard to hurt me when I was driving, so I slowed the car down a little, reached across him and opened the door and at the same time, heaving him out of it into a ditch. I don't like having my hair pulled. (estx)

When I broke up with another, I left, walked to my car.. got ready to leave, and he jumped on the hood of the car and refused to get off of it. I had to drive up a bit and slam on the breaks to get him off of the car. (another isfp)

I have had two exs, after I dump them, end up with girls who could have srsly been my twin.. creepy.. (enfp and xxxx)

One of them had his mother break up with me on an outgoing answering machine message. "Crissie, I know you are hurt and stuff, but Brandon doesn't want to talk to you anymore.." Lol.. loser. Oh, and he was 26 - not 12.. (ixtp)

One of them kept stealing, and wearing.. my makeup. :O (xsfx)

I'll post more as I remember them, maybe.. I know theres a ton.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Promethea said:


> One of my exs told me that the first time he hung out with me, he saved the pieces of my hair that he found in my room, and wrapped them around his dick when I was out of the room. I didn't bother asking why..
> 
> Another time, an ex pulled my hair really hard to hurt me when I was driving, so I slowed the car down a little, reached across him and opened the door and at the same time, heaving him out of it into a ditch. I don't like having my hair pulled.
> 
> ...


And so far the award goes to Promethea! 

Omfg!!!!!! That was a great read. I am both sorry for you and frightened. 

Please tell me your current guy is appreciative of what it must take for you to trust the species again. :laughing:


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

pinkrasputin said:


> Omfg!!!!!! That was a great read. And so far the award goes to Promethea!
> 
> Please tell me your current guy is appreciative of what it must take for you to trust the species again. :laughing:


I attract complete nutcases. Not always. But 99 percent of the time. I think its because nothing really shocks me and they think I am finally 'that one person who will listen and understand.' They seem mentally together at first, then they show how completely unhinged they really are.. 

Lol.. thx..:laughing:


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## jack london (Aug 27, 2010)

KrystRay said:


> Don't fuck with an angry woman.


I remember posting something like "hell hath no fury like a women scorned" and everyone was like "I'd never do that...." see ? A pissed off woman is really scary. :crying:


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## HandiAce (Nov 27, 2009)

You're all psychos.


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## jack london (Aug 27, 2010)

mrscientist said:


> What does INTJ have to do with anything?





> INTJs are able to leave relationships when they're over, and get on with their lives. They believe that this is the right thing to do.



When its over its over. I don't look back but maybe thats me.


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## Bahama Mama (Sep 13, 2010)

I need to say that I am a chinese girl. I dated this indian guy for 2 weeks. he had the smallest you know what ever and pointy fingers...not to mention he was shorter than me. I didn't get together with him for his looks--i was digging him for his personality. But he started to get needy, clingy and controlling. I wasn't having it and left him. He called me and my friends back everyday for a week to try to get me back. 

the last day he decided to text me "you're a dumb ***** and I hope you love those chopstick dicks that you're running back to."
I was just made a witty reference to his small penis and never heard from him again.

:X


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

HandiAce said:


> I take back what I said about all of you being psychos, despite the comment having the intention of good humor.
> 
> All of your Ex stories make me fearful of having a serious relationship in the future. :shocked:


Me too. I finally was just about to go back out there and put myself on the market again. But now I'm thinking I still might need a couple more months.


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## Everyday Ghoul (Aug 4, 2009)

The best part is, when you stay as long as I did, you go just as bat shit insane as they are. I don't think I'd know what to do in a normal relationship, but if I end up with another crazy woman, I'm gonna wind up in a 48 Hours television special for committing a murder suicide. I ain't got much of a mind left to lose, and they don't make enough medication to push me through the crazy ass situations I find my way into. In the end, I got no one to blame, but myself, though.


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## vel (May 17, 2010)

wow reading all these stories makes me really like my ex's (in a friend kind of way) - we were good ex's for each other as neither of us brought up a ton of silly drama upon separation


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## KrystRay (Jun 16, 2010)

I love drama when I have nothing to lose! I find new ways to pretend to be psycho to see how far I can push some guys. I mean, if I need entertainment and I don't see the relationship going anywhere, I just turn up the crazy switch.  

I still haven't laughed as hard as I did when I read about the sleeping upon the pile of clothes... I don't know if I could keep a straight face for that one.


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## viva (Aug 13, 2010)

I dated a guy for two years and eventually realized things wouldn't work out, so I broke up with him. We were 18 at the time. Completely ruined our chances of salvaging a friendship because he took such offense to it that he called up my extremely conservative parents and told them we'd had sex, that I had a tattoo, and that I had been drinking while I was away at school, purely because he knew they'd murder me.

What angered me the most was that he knew how strained my relationship already was with my family, and did that anyway.

He proceeded to lie about having done it for the next month while begging for me to come back.

Whatever, I've lost 20 pounds in the 2 years since we're broken up and I think he's gained a chin for every pound I've lost.


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## Rayne (Apr 28, 2010)

This thread is depressing. Why are people so horrible =O


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## ENTrePenuer (Jun 12, 2010)

Rayne said:


> This thread is depressing. Why are people so horrible =O


Bad Experiences make people want to share the pain.
I have been immune to most of these forms of manipulation due to being a coldhearted bastard, but then crazy girls are always able to kick it up another notch.
You haven't lived till you've had a girl put you in the middle of a fight with some other guy to get your attention or revenge.

I swear more men have died at the hands of a manipulative woman than anyone is willing to admit because they are the "weaker sex"
:dry:


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## cynic (Sep 27, 2010)

*Thank god it didn't happen to me!*

I used to run with this blond from Chicago. It was really casual. One night she took off for a couple of hours. When she got back she was just glowing. I asked her, "What's tickling you?" I would come to regret my phrasing as she described to me her latest exploit.

She told me about some sociopathic fuck she had been seeing who treated her like shit and used her. He was constantly trying to get in her pants still and she was getting fed up with it.

She finally settled on how to get revenge and ensure he wouldn't try to sleep with her again. She went to his house during a party he was throwing. After a while, she coerced him into the bathroom for some dirty fun. She let him get all hot and bothered. He fingered her and went down on her before she turned on the light to reveal that she was menstruating. Not only did he have period blood all over him, but she had used her soiled tampon to write obscenities on his bathroom mirror. They never spoke again.

Repulsive but funny...


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## Thinker96 (Feb 24, 2010)

cynic said:


> I used to run with this blond from Chicago. It was really casual. One night she took off for a couple of hours. When she got back she was just glowing. I asked her, "What's tickling you?" I would come to regret my phrasing as she described to me her latest exploit.
> 
> She told me about some sociopathic fuck she had been seeing who treated her like shit and used her. He was constantly trying to get in her pants still and she was getting fed up with it.
> 
> ...


 ...


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## KrystRay (Jun 16, 2010)

Super repulsive.


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## Shorttail (Jun 23, 2010)

<.< Ex told a mutual friend I had raped said ex. When I asked my friend what other things my ex had said, she said I had apparently also masturbated to watching another friend kill herself on webcam. Kind of a what the hell o.o moment. I figured my ex wanted to be left alone after that. XD
Oh yeah, and my ex dumped me by completely ignoring me for months. But my ex had a rough life and I have no hard feelings.


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## AEIOU (Feb 5, 2010)

KrystRay said:


> I love drama when I have nothing to lose! I find new ways to pretend to be psycho to see how far I can push some guys. I mean, if I need entertainment and I don't see the relationship going anywhere, I just turn up the crazy switch.


I'm going to print this one and keep it for future reference. One day I might need a strong reminder as to what some people are capable of.
I love your devious little mind, reminds me of me. Ha!


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

My break up was extremely soft. We embraced, felt each other up a bit, kissed, and she went back to Africa.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

AEIOU said:


> I'm going to print this one and keep it for future reference. One day I might need a strong reminder as to what some people are capable of.
> *I love your devious little mind, reminds me of me. *Ha!


Wow. Enlightenment. 



Mutatio NOmenis said:


> My break up was extremely soft. We embraced, felt each other up a bit, kisses, and she went back to Africa.


That is actually quite lovely. I see why things might be tough. I have an ex who is also not crazy. Pulling away emotionally is very hard. But you know, it's only been 17 years...


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## AEIOU (Feb 5, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> Wow. Enlightenment.


You're reading too much between the lines, I said what I said mostly out of deference to her, I didn't want her to think I was slapping her down for her behavior.
I'm not a "J" type.

I'm quite capable of pulling off some stuff like that, but it requires a lot of energy and when it comes to relationships I only have so much energy to give in the first place. Further I know how bad it can hurt to be dumped and for that reason I'd rather a woman dump me than for me to dump her. I can take it (eventually).

If you (someone) messes with me long enough you better watch out, because I'll think up a good one for you in return. I'm incredibly good at pulling off pranks and I have more than enough brass to do whatever it takes. I once returned to where I had worked, where I had just been fired from and threw a whip cream pie at the face of the manager who fired me! At another job my boss pissed me off big time and I got even by squirting him from head to toe with hydraulic oil. He never knew that I deliberately did it to him either, because I made it look like equipment failure. Other stories too, but no necessity for me to relate them all.

I was very rational about the things I did, caused no permanent harm or serious bodily injury, and nothing too serious that I would get arrested for, and of course I left a way out for myself.

As an ISTP, I'm quite logical and very analytical. It's quite easy for me to determine if the person I'm dating is "crazy" or not. I'll end it way before things get out of control. Further more, I always watch my back.

I once pepper sprayed in the face an overly aggressive and threatening woman!


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## Benzoate (Aug 10, 2010)

wow this thread makes me laugh, yet slightly worried.
My ex said she was breaking up with me because I was out of her league / too good for her, which seems like an insane reason to break up with someone, especially after 3 years...:frustrating:

I did appreciate the embedded compliment though :tongue:


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## Shorttail (Jun 23, 2010)

Hook, line and sinker.


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## AEIOU (Feb 5, 2010)

*Lisa Nowak*

You guys ever hear of Lisa Nowak?

"In 2007, Lisa Nowak, a NASA astronaut and recently separated mother of three, drove from her home in Houston to Orlando, Fla., to seek vengeance on a romantic rival, armed with pepper spray, a BB gun, a folding knife, 4 feet of rubber tubing, lawn-size garbage bags -- and, supposedly, diapers, which the media concluded she had used to avoid pit stops on her drive. Even compared to celebrity scandals of the last few years, from Mel Gibson's racist tirades to Tiger Woods' infidelities, the Nowak story -- or as most people will remember it, the astronaut-love-triangle-diaper story -- is hard to forget, not only because of its irresistibly absurd details but also because it exposes certain elemental truths about human nature. Jealousy, irrationality and self-sabotage can undermine even the most successful and rational of people."


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## Raichan (Jul 15, 2010)

Third ex

Year 2008

On MSN, '' Izz... I'm so sad *inserts crying emoticon* People who claim to be your friends have been snooping on me and my darling.''

His 'darling' was a fling he dumped me for. I wish I had screen captured our conversation :dry: Lol :crazy:


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