# 'I'm not like most girls'



## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

This statement is something I've often seen both online and offline - some people separate themselves from their own gender in order to portray themselves as an interesting person. I've also noticed this in movies and shows, where say, Robin Scherbatsky from HIMYM will enjoy whisky and guns, and how 'hot' it is considered when a woman adopts more masculine traits and looks down on the more feminine woman, who may enjoy shopping or gossiping or whatever is considered a typically 'girly' activity. I'm absolutely not saying that women may not genuinely have those more 'masculine' interests, but from what I've seen, it can also be adopted to come across as more cool, or interesting. 

From personal experience, as someone who falls in the middle of the spectrum as being quite girly but also enjoying what are deemed as more masculine activities, I've noticed this same reaction from a lot of guys. They literally melt when they realize I don't like shopping, that I love playing video games or reading/watching science fiction. 

More feminine women: Have you noticed this phenomenon? What are your thoughts? Do you feel like women with more masculine interests or traits are more valued, or sexualized? 

Women who have more masculine traits/interests: Thoughts on the kind of reactions you get? Do you feel like your more masculine interests receive positive or negative attention from men? 

Guys: What comes to mind when you hear 'I'm not like most girls'?


----------



## Kvothe Lackless (Dec 30, 2015)

When I see someone say *I'm not like most girls*, for some reason I automatically think that they are like most girls, since they did not go through the effort of distinguishing themselves.

It's the same thing when I constantly see this phrase *I'm unique because I'm me*. I automatically think fuck off!

*Disclaimer: Please don't hate on me, it's simply my opinion and automatic thought.*


----------



## Saika (Dec 7, 2015)

For me it can be many things, but I definitely appreciate it when a girl I'm interested in never bothers doing compulsive shopping or do that nail polish thing everyday. When a girl prefers to be herself instead of follow social rules of what makes a girl be a girl, that's when I think she's interesting.


----------



## Ace Face (Nov 13, 2011)

I'm not bothered when people say that. I think it's true for everybody actually, since every individual person is a unique character in this world. Sure, some people use it to make themselves feel special or good, but who cares? If a given person's own self image is so low that they resort to finding ways in which they're special to make themselves better, I say let them go for it. If they don't relate to gender stereotypes and they come forward with that information, more power to them. I display some "manly"stereotypes and some "womanly" stereotypes. Some people appreciate it, and others don't. It depends on the person really. I like myself enough to not really be bothered by others' negative perceptions of me, perhaps with the exception of those who are near and dear to me, but the point still stands. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." 


* *




I feel like my mind went faster than my typing. I'm not even sure if this was coherent xD


----------



## Aya the Abysswalker (Mar 23, 2012)

When I heard that, I'm usually ready to find out that she's just like any other girl I've meet.


----------



## ShatteredHeart (Jul 11, 2014)

I hate hearing that phrase, because those that really are don't have to tell you. 

As for Masculine traits in a girl, It just gives you more to relate to.

If you loved dancing and found a guy that does as well (dancing being a feminine interest) would it make you (women) more or less attracted?


----------



## Vanitas (Dec 13, 2009)

As a feminine/girly looking woman who has both traits/likings, I'm not sure which side of the fence I would fall into. I agree by thinking those who say so as ... they become more boring for me because they show that they're 'the type who feels it's necessary to point something like that out to feel special'-- which makes them very _common_.

When you truly think you're special/different, you don't bother to announce it, I suppose.


----------



## Hei (Jul 8, 2014)

This kind of reminds me of those annoying memes that float around on social media that go: "Only *X* will understand this!!!1111!111!!" Like it is supposed to be only identifiable to a super minority, then it gets _millions_ of shares.

Or how about "foodie" posts. A particularly sensationalised "foodie" post is the super attention craving posts on Twitter and Instagram by young girls that go "I _love_ food, I am a _girl_ that likes _eating;_ look at meeee!" Yeah, I'm glad you do not buy into the shite pressure to starve yourself, love, but literally all women like food just look at all the the young girls who have liked your picture.

But let us be real here. The absolute worst posts are the "I'm not like most guys posts" created by early secondary school teenage gentlemen swagboys that know nothing of love with words written over an incredibly douche vain picture of themselves saying "I'm going to treat my girl right" and variants. Good for you for giving yourself a self-congratulatory pat on the back for purporting to treat people right just because they do not have a dick. We know this is totally not a faux I'm a feminist post to get fragile young girls to swoon over you. Also in no way does the language you use like "I'm gonna treat my babyguuuurl like a princess" in any way sexist. I also sure bet you treat all girls equally and not just the ones you find attractive enough to get your cock off to.

I really, _really_, hate those guys.

I think the theme here is these "I'm not like most" posts are generally indicative of excessive sense of self importance or individualism. I take it as a challenge to rip the carpet out from under them.


----------



## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

Good! I'm not into "most girls", but this statement reeks of approval seeking, so that sort of cancels out any would-be positive traits. From experience, most men are turned off or threatened by women who don't fit the stereotypical mold (feminine, submissive, etc.). 

Chances are, if I'm interested in you, it's because you stand out, so there wouldn't be any need to say so. We would both know it. By the way, unless you've met "most girls", how would you know how similar or not you were to them? 

Yeah, I've known a few who were into, say, whiskey or heavy metal, but many of them got into it simply because someone close to them was. A few are the real deal, but it's just one piece of the puzzle, so let's not get sidetracked. Common doesn't always = bad.


----------



## Wiz (Apr 8, 2014)

I get anxious and hope she's not crazy! The last time I heard that phrase I was on a date with a girl that JUST had been written out of a psychiatric hospital after a 3 month stay. It was sooo uncomfortable for an entire evening to try and balance politeness with showing that I was not interested.


----------



## Stickman (Sep 30, 2012)

Most people aren't like most people in at least some way. 

Saying something like that doesn't really say anything apart from the fact that you don't think about what you say. Only when you specify or give examples of how you're different does it mean anything. So when a girl tells me she isn't like most girls my first instinct would be to ask her how she's different.


----------



## Emerald Legend (Jul 13, 2010)

Guys: What comes to mind when you hear 'I'm not like most girls'? = exactly like most girls.


----------



## peter pettishrooms (Apr 20, 2015)

"I'm not like most girls."

Then what the fuck is wrong with most girls


----------



## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

acidicwithpanic said:


> "I'm not like most girls."
> 
> Then what the fuck is wrong with most girls


Pretty much my thought. :laughing:


----------



## peter pettishrooms (Apr 20, 2015)

I've hung out with mostly boys growing up, but that was all coincidental, not by choice. I was pretty close to my brother, and one of my best friends was a guy that lived in my neighborhood and attended classes with me. I just happened to hang with them and their friends, all of whom introduced me to video games and anime. Not quite sure how all of this became associated with masculinity since there have been surveys and studies shown that there are just as many female gamers as male gamers. 

Lately, I've started hanging out with more women and it shows in my appearance. I've always been a late bloomer and it wasn't until college that I began developing an interest in makeup and fashion, not just for the aesthetic appeal but for practical reasons as well. If I want to snatch important opportunities, I have to look well put together and polished. 

Also the older I become, the more I question male friends' intentions for befriending me. I'm at that age where people are graduating college, moving on with their careers, and considering to settle down and start a family. I believe women and men can be just friends, but platonic friendships become harder to maintain as an adult as long as one person is single. So I'm not sure whether or not some of these friends are just keeping me company because they're expecting something more. Their actions and gestures just don't seem genuine and the friendship can feel artificial. I'm okay with them being upfront and honest with their feelings, but most of my male friends have been so passive and don't like admitting their feelings. I hate that shit. If you don't have feelings for me like you claim, then stop acting like you do. :dry:


----------



## Caveman Dreams (Nov 3, 2015)

If they tell me that, cool. But sure enough if I hang around with them, I will find out via their actions.

What a person says = what they think
What a person does = how they feel


----------



## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

acidicwithpanic said:


> "I'm not like most girls."
> 
> Then what the fuck is wrong with most girls


*hysterical laughter*

It might be easier to list what's not wrong.


----------



## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

When I hear "I'm not like most girls", I immediately think "Yep, just another average girl."


----------



## Fumetsu (Oct 7, 2015)

Not only is that exactly like most girls that I know, but it's the worst kind of girl. Definitely insecure with a huge chip on their shoulder.


----------



## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

I see no _initial_ complications with it - _in fact_, I use this line in a variation of ways; it is a successful + _useful_ mating strategy among females (via) temporary tranquilization of the male sex drive.

I will do anything to differentiate + gain leverage over other women that does not exempt me from the commons; thus the statement is highly productive, you must back it up - evidently, my statement is highly accurate (via) persona and/or appealing to the individual in which I am flaunting my mate value. 

I wonder why ''female'' mate tactics are not discussed - it is typical for me compete + display _better_ characteristics + heightened persona / (i.e., self-bragging / self-compliments / non-humble) approaches to eligible seekers, as I call it, the ''feathers'' of the female peacock, to _surpass_ other potential female mates. Expressing I am similar to all other women depletes my value, thus I am only eligible for coitus. (re: _elevated_ sex drive).

Do you know why this offends other women - because it *depletes* their mate value.

And, after such a method - I _usually_ get,

''Hahaha.. you're so awesome, so why are you single?''


----------



## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

Kinda reminds me when I hear other girls who say they are not like most girls, and then they turn around and say how they hate girls. In the end... they may not be as catty but still catty, and they want most of the attention on them.

Sorta sounds like a put down on an entire gender.

When guys say they are not like other guys, I think.. Liar.


----------



## Fumetsu (Oct 7, 2015)

strawberryLola said:


> Kinda reminds me when I hear other girls who say they are not like most girls, and then they turn around and say how they hate girls. In the end... they may not be as catty but still catty, and they want most of the attention on them.
> 
> Sorta sounds like a put down on an entire gender.
> 
> When guys say they are not like other guys, I think.. Liar.


That's why I have a hard time getting along with most women. So catty, so much to prove. 

I'm comfortable with who I am. I kind of feel bad for them because despite the airs they put on, I know they are insecure.


----------



## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

Fumetsu said:


> That's why I have a hard time getting along with most women. So catty, so much to prove.
> 
> I'm comfortable with who I am. I kind of feel bad for them because despite the airs they put on, I know they are insecure.


True. I am my own separate person like most people. Most my female friends are pretty chill and laid-back, still girly to an extent but not fake.

I get a sense people when they like to say this, it is more about competition, and a bit egotistical.


----------



## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

Fumetsu said:


> That's why I have a hard time getting along with most women. So catty, so much to prove.


But how is this different from saying you aren't like most women? It stems from a negative outlook on your own gender. Differentiating yourself from them by saying most are catty and you're not is exactly what I described in my OP.


----------



## Fumetsu (Oct 7, 2015)

kaleidoscope said:


> But how is this different from saying you aren't like most women? It stems from a negative outlook on your own gender. Differentiating yourself from them by saying most are catty and you're not is exactly what I described in my OP.




If you want to go down that road then we can't associate attributes to anyone without the " I'm different" being implied.

I don't like people who's prime motivation in life is to get attention and prove that they are better than their perceived peers.

Don't care what gender they are. That better?


----------



## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

"She has a penis. Fuck." *backs away slowly*


----------



## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

In seriousness it means that she is a chameleon, waiting to see what I like in a person so that she can be that person when around me. 

"I'm not like most women"

"oh cool women are bitches"

"yeah women are bitches!"

*proceeds to not be a bitch around me*


----------



## Female INFJ (Feb 27, 2010)

Yes to everything you wrote.

Unfortunately there is a Part 2 to what you write. The ability for most people to tell the difference between a fake person and someone who's actually different or really into what they say they are into is close to nil. 

I usually advise my friends in any relationship to wait it out up to six months to see a persons true colors and then go from there into getting to know a person more.


----------



## Female INFJ (Feb 27, 2010)

Also depends on appearance of person. Attractive people can play off whatever they want and be less criticized. Like waiting for pigs to fly their partners are like...wow...I see it (the door knob girl) is such a genius. Whereas average girl - ok you are different - prove it. Over and over again.


----------



## Caveman Dreams (Nov 3, 2015)

Female INFJ said:


> Also depends on appearance of person. Attractive people can play off whatever they want and be less criticized. Like waiting for pigs to fly their partners are like...wow...I see it (the door knob girl) is such a genius. Whereas average girl - ok you are different - prove it. Over and over again.


Its not so much about them proving it. It just seems to be one of those things all girls say "Im different from everybody else". I just assume its Special Snowflake Syndrome. If their actions do actually show they are different I do generally appreciate it for them. But I don't want them to prove it per say. Its not a boxing match to see who is the best.


----------



## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

I usually go for the implicit message rather than the explicit meaning. People can act overtly while thinking something else covertly.


----------



## stormgirl (May 21, 2013)

Fumetsu said:


> That's why I have a hard time getting along with most women. So catty, so much to prove.
> 
> I'm comfortable with who I am. I kind of feel bad for them because despite the airs they put on, I know they are insecure.


I feel the same. I am who I am, and don't feel any need to distinguish myself as being more or less like other women.


----------



## eselpee (Jan 16, 2016)

I can understand what people are saying here. When I was little I loved playing baseball with the boys. I honed my baseball skills and played by official baseball rules.


When I played dolls, I brought my dolls and played with them, but there was another whole game I could just barely sense going on and whose rules were unknown to me. Of course I played baseball. Now, “chatting” is the secret female rule book. 


To me, it all sounds catty, but that is b/c I simply have lower level language skills. Superficially chatting appears to be informal communication, but it is actually very high level language and the rules are invisible. Its purpose is to parse who is in and who is out. It used to be taught in finishing school (“conversational skills”), but we’re on our own now. 

The vocabulary/jargon, vocal characteristics (prosody, pitch, inflection), humor, body language, and topics are sophisticated filters for who is in and who is out of the clique. It is all very specific to each group. A bunch of homies will be very different than a bunch of WASPs, although they will get each other long before I get any of them. Only a minority of guys will get it. 


It can be tough in an office to be filtered out, and I don’t actually want to be in a clique anyway, but I have learned to admire their sills. I try to emphasize friendly and competent and stay busy.


----------



## J Squirrel (Jun 2, 2012)

kaleidoscope said:


> 'I'm not like most girls'This statement is something I've often seen both online and offline


So most girls are not like most girls.


----------



## eselpee (Jan 16, 2016)

cybersloth81 said:


> Its not so much about them proving it. It just seems to be one of those things all girls say "Im different from everybody else". I just assume its Special Snowflake Syndrome. If their actions do actually show they are different I do generally appreciate it for them. But I don't want them to prove it per say. Its not a boxing match to see who is the best.


I think this was valid when I grew up and only a few women managed to succeed beyond meeting standards for breeding. I hope its different now. Never heard of SSS...?


----------



## Beanytoes (Dec 23, 2015)

I agree with some others if you have to say your not like other girls, you probably are


----------



## eselpee (Jan 16, 2016)

Wiser words have never been spoken =)


----------



## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

J Squirrel said:


> So most girls are not like most girls.












IT'S A TRAP.


----------



## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

Fumetsu said:


> If you want to go down that road then we can't associate attributes to anyone without the " I'm different" being implied.
> 
> I don't like people who's prime motivation in life is to get attention and prove that they are better than their perceived peers.
> 
> Don't care what gender they are. That better?


Much better. Your previous post was basically you saying "I don't associate with most women because they tend to be catty". This is flawed for two reasons:

1. Hello, stereotypes?

2. You are basically, as a woman, bashing other women for being a certain way (supposedly) and elevating/distinguishing yourself in the process.


----------



## Female INFJ (Feb 27, 2010)

Yes. Dating is a game its like one person says something, then the other responds. Like an opener. Tough competition out there many ladies have got to say something or differentiate somehow in the beginning or just not pique any interest at all.


----------



## 95134hks (Dec 20, 2015)

BlackDog said:


> Well I'm not a guy, but my advice when you hear a woman say that?
> 
> To quote the good woman @Catwalk - "Run, run like hell!"


... IF you're smart yes !!!


----------



## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

cybersloth81 said:


> Also on a different ote,* if I say "Im just a typical guy"*, the response is "No your not, your different from the other guys".
> 
> I think some statements trigger the logical parts of our brain.
> 
> ...


If you said that, then I believe _you_. 

It is not always about reverse psychology, and people do not all think linearly like robots.

Most people have a strong dislike for phony, disingenuous interactions.


----------



## AriesLilith (Jan 6, 2013)

Gossip Goat said:


> Reminds me of this video:


Well said, what's with some saying that they don't like fellow women for being b*tchy or catty or crazy anyways? I work in the IT, places full of men, and I can tell you that they can be pretty b*tchy, catty or crazy too. 

It's kind of annyoing actually, that many simply be themselves but then there is all the judgment around implicitly saying that being too feminine or too masculine or whatever is not as good. "Oh I'm not like other women into pretty stuffs or so" or "Ah those nerdy women are so weird" and on and on and on. It's be nice if people begin to appreciate each other for their individuality already. Everyone has degrees of spectrums and collection of interests. Maybe that way these kinds of differenciating one self from others to appear special would end.


----------



## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

J Squirrel said:


> We are so much less competitive. It isn't even close.


Come at me bro.


----------



## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

Gossip Goat said:


> Reminds me of this video:


Lol she's milking it too hard (imitation at the beginning). I've heard girls say "most of my friends are guys" but they'll leave it at that. I can buy that.


----------



## keeza29 (Jan 18, 2016)

There's nothing wrong with being unique and taking pride in that, but when girls say "I'm not like most girls", it's usually just fueled by internalised misogyny. It makes me cringe.


----------



## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

AriesLilith said:


> Well said, what's with some saying that they don't like fellow women for being b*tchy or catty or crazy anyways? I work in the IT, places full of men, and I can tell you that they can be pretty b*tchy, catty or crazy too.
> 
> It's kind of annyoing actually, that many simply be themselves but then there is all the judgment around implicitly saying that being too feminine or too masculine or whatever is not as good. "Oh I'm not like other women into pretty stuffs or so" or "Ah those nerdy women are so weird" and on and on and on. It's be nice if people begin to appreciate each other for their individuality already. Everyone has degrees of spectrums and collection of interests. Maybe that way these kinds of differenciating one self from others to appear special would end.


Yeah. I met a fair share of men who can be pretty competitive and gossip about each other. They tend to be very calculating charmers, especially in the office, Mr. Popular so to speak. Even the quiet ones.

It is human nature for some people, unfortunately. Whenever I hear a guy say I am not like most men, my skin immediately feels like something is crawling from underneath. Ugh!!


----------



## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

cybersloth81 said:


> Also on a different ote, if I say "Im just a typical guy", the response is "No your not, your different from the other guys".
> 
> I think some statements trigger the logical parts of our brain.
> .


It seems; I am just a _typical_ (X) --> then I am not like typical (X); are essentially the same in a reversed variation trying to deplete the ''others'' to adhere to differential set of appealing attributes; 

_Ex; (1)_ 

I am just the typical guy, (i.e., I am not special, therefore, I am special - because I adhere to all the other ''guys''). --> ''Self-proclaimed faux humbleness); to invalidate non-typicals to gain leverage.

_Ex; (2) _

I am not like typical girls, (i.e., I am more special than others, therefore, I adhere to ''uniqueness''). To gain leverage. --> ''Self-proclaimed faux confidence (if not accurately demonstrated). 

(X) user claims, she would ''believe'' you if you adhere to 'typical male' - instead of 'not like typical males' - thus, the ''method'' (i.e., depleting value of ''non-typicals'' has proven to be a _success_.

Thus, many individuals, are 'blinded' to this.

________________________

It would appear most of this ''nonsense'' aligns with my previous position --> (i.e., If 'uniqueness' is not asserted over other counterparts, you will be surpassed - by other counterparts, indirectly). Apparently, this translate to ''hatred'' of others - a faux & BS excuse to ''patbacks'' of those _without_ any motivation .. (i.e., another strategic method to attain interest).

Apparently, only one (Ex 2) strategic method is *misogynistic* - yet (Ex 1) is not. (Intellectual dishonesty / inconsistency). This may be an inferiority complex (i.e., masking self-insecurity) to deplete value of higher-status females.


----------



## 95134hks (Dec 20, 2015)

Catwalk said:


> It seems; I am just a _typical_ (X) --> then I am not like typical (X); are essentially the same in a reversed variation trying to deplete the ''others'' to adhere to differential set of appealing attributes;
> 
> _Ex; (1)_
> 
> ...


CATWALK a number of people including myself are starting to refer to you like unto the Oracle At Delphi.

Enjoy the celeb status !!


----------



## 95134hks (Dec 20, 2015)

kaleidoscope said:


> Come at me bro.


This is how a cat hangs 20 so that he/she can get all their claws into you at once.

My cat does it too!


----------



## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

I feel like there is a subtle misogyny in this statement, which amounts to a shame over being feminine. Feminine qualities and interests are often portrayed as inferior. Sure, some stereotypical feminine traits may be frivolous, but so are many masculine traits. I think what is going on is an assertion of being better. It is saying, "I don't possess all those inferior feminine traits other women possess." Yet, there is some pride in possessing what are arguably just as frivolous madculine traits, as if these are superior. This is not saying that not being stereotypically feminine means these feelings exist, rather it's the attitude about it all. 

What is funny to me is how often these preferences incredibly common. I meet far more tom boys than classic girly girls.


----------



## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

And people who claim to not like girls or are not like other girls also tend to be the biggest gossip drama histrionics I ever met. Maybe not always outwardly catty, but very attention-seeking, for sure. 

Oh, yes, they do earn their status and titles with the more gullible few who do thrive on their behavior in a co-dependent way. Some people like their conceit.


----------



## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

It gets to be like an old played out record tho if your actually like a Robin. Seriously. 

Of course it has its advantages, but it seriously has its set backs. Novelty is fun. But novelty also gets old and boring.


----------



## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

strawberryLola said:


> And people who claim to not like girls or are not like other girls also tend to be the biggest gossip drama histrionics I ever met. Maybe not always outwardly catty, but very attention-seeking, for sure.
> 
> Oh, yes, they do earn their status and titles with the more gullible few who do thrive on their behavior in a co-dependent way. Some people like their conceit.


Whew did someone hit a nerve. Yikes that was not petty and did not come across spiteful at all. 

You do realize females who are like this are used to this commentary from the sidelines, right? Ok now that I established that.


----------



## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

You guys are just imagining a person you don't like and attaching the saying to them. Yeah there are a lot of tom boys, but not because of social reasons for most of them. A lot of them are like that for personal reasons, whether their parent subtly wanted a boy, or they truly enjoy sports and stuff. Yeah some of them are just trying to hate on feminine qualities, but nowhere near all of them. You just see what you want to see. If you think all women who say "I'm not like other girls" is doing so out of hatred or disgust to feminine traits, then you're just using your imagination too much. 90% of the time it's about them and is personal, not about hatred toward others. 

It could also be about something much more specific and the person just happened to leave a few words out. If I said, "I'm not like other white guys" and then followed it up with "I'm not racist" would you think that I thought white guys are usually racist? Or that some white guys are racist and others are not racist and I happen to be a part of the group that isn't racist? Why does it have to be about special snowflake syndrome? Again you guys are using too much of your imagination to paint the picture how you want to see it. *If someone says "I'm not like other girls" and you judge them immediately or feel ill of them immediately then you are projecting your own feelings into them. *it is very much likely that they are not meaning it in a negative away. Truly I think it says more about the respondent to the statement than the person saying the statement whenever there is something vague being said.


----------



## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

nevermind.


----------



## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

Ok. Sure. What kind of reaction should it elicit when what's said insults an entire gender?


----------



## piano (May 21, 2015)

thankfully for me i _am_ like most girls


----------



## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

strawberryLola said:


> Ok. Sure. What kind of reaction should it elicit when what's said insults an entire gender?


Does saying that you are different, without any specifics, actually insult anybody???

edit: YOU are the one filling in the blanks. All that is said is "I am not like most other girls" and you interpret it as an insult because you filled in the rest with your imagination... Therefore you insulted yourself.

Your mind:
Definition of "most other girls" = _____

Not being like "most other girls" = _____

Feelings toward person in response of definitions created by self = _____

Conclusion: you just made yourself feel a certain way by using another persons words and your own imagination.


----------



## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

strawberryLola said:


> Ok. Sure. What kind of reaction should it elicit when what's said insults an entire gender?


Yeah - stating you are ''different'' from other women; isn't a 'misogynistic' attack on 'all women' ... It, usually only refers to women in current locality; thus ''_insulting millions of women_'', legitimately, by the statement, is fallacious. 

Just like;

Ex; (1) --> Asserting, I am the most _productive_ student in the class (while adhereing a *4.00* GPA) - is not an attack on ''humanity'' - nor the same as calling ''all other classmates'' stupid.

Nothing ''_misanthropic_'' on THAT ship.

Apparently, ''differentiating' '(e.g., ambitious) women are inherently misogynistic, for asserting they are more ''ambitious'' that other women .... ;facepalm 

This is rather a personal plight of inferiority.


----------



## MisterPerfect (Nov 20, 2015)

kaleidoscope said:


> This statement is something I've often seen both online and offline - some people separate themselves from their own gender in order to portray themselves as an interesting person. I've also noticed this in movies and shows, where say, Robin Scherbatsky from HIMYM will enjoy whisky and guns, and how 'hot' it is considered when a woman adopts more masculine traits and looks down on the more feminine woman, who may enjoy shopping or gossiping or whatever is considered a typically 'girly' activity. I'm absolutely not saying that women may not genuinely have those more 'masculine' interests, but from what I've seen, it can also be adopted to come across as more cool, or interesting.
> 
> From personal experience, as someone who falls in the middle of the spectrum as being quite girly but also enjoying what are deemed as more masculine activities, I've noticed this same reaction from a lot of guys. They literally melt when they realize I don't like shopping, that I love playing video games or reading/watching science fiction.
> 
> ...


What they mean is they dont fit the standard of what is considered girly or what they see most girls doing. So they probobly feel like a bit of an outcast. It does not mean everyone is trying to distinguish themselves, they just feel like they are different from a particular group. Its the same is saying "Im not a normal person". Often this is a sign that they feel like something is wrong with them, or they feel they stick out no matter what they do. I would probobly say something like this but I would probobly be far more general like "Im not a normal human, I dont belong with the rest of society, Im not a very good person" which is even less specific than your proposed comment relating to gender. I would take this to mean they are a little odd, but generally I can spot ODD from a mile away. They always have a habit of giving themselves away. Weird people really cant help it.


----------



## Ninjaws (Jul 10, 2014)

Considering there are give or take 3.5 billion women on this planet, for someone to be able to tell what the majority is like, you'd have to find a thing that at least 1.8 billion women have in common. 

Why is it a bad thing to be like the majority exactly? Most women are not serial killers, psychopaths or insane.


----------



## Wickedsix (Jan 10, 2016)

Stelliferous said:


> "She has a penis. Fuck." *backs away slowly*


Hahahaha, I was going to say something along the lines of this. When I hear a woman say something like that, the first thing that pops into my head is "What makes you say that and why do you think that?"


----------



## Carpentet810 (Nov 17, 2013)

Not like most Women? Hell, and IQ greater than 101 will put you there!


----------



## Kerik_S (Aug 26, 2015)

I just can't stand it when people make it a point to say "I'm a girl AND a nerd" as if it were this unfathomable thing.

It's like gay guys who advertise themselves as "straight acting." I immediately think "Emotionally repressed and possibly abusive."


----------



## Kerik_S (Aug 26, 2015)

Or Christians who make it a point to mention that they're "hardcore"


----------



## randomshoes (Dec 11, 2013)

A lot of people have said it more eloquently earlier, but basically: 

1) It's implying that stereotypes about women are mostly true, *I'm just the exception*.

2) It's implying that women who fit some or most "feminine" traits are less than you, because you are more masculine and therefore superior to them.

Think of this way. What would you think if a black person said "I'm not like _most_ black people"? Internalized racism, right? Same thing here. It's a way of trying to avoid being stereotyped or discriminated against by confirming that the rest of your group should be treated as less than others.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

I side eye anyone that says this. 'I'm not like most guys/girls'. What's wrong with most guys/girls? Someone who says that is projecting a lot of insecurity. I always feel tempted to say, 'No, you're worse.'.


----------



## MisterPerfect (Nov 20, 2015)

Kerik_S said:


> Or Christians who make it a point to mention that they're "hardcore"


What does that even mean? 

Like they are super dedicated to church or that they like rock music?


----------



## MisterPerfect (Nov 20, 2015)

randomshoes said:


> A lot of people have said it more eloquently earlier, but basically:
> 
> 1) It's implying that stereotypes about women are mostly true, *I'm just the exception*.
> 
> ...


It probobly means they were rejected by other black people for NOT BEING BLACK ENOUGH. Have you not ever seen this stuff happen? Where people try to act like something that is not stereotypical to thier race and they say "You acting white". That or the stupid coconut analogy. I been told I act white since I dont act ethnic enough. I know what race I am, but I dont go out of my way to identify with it.


----------



## Kerik_S (Aug 26, 2015)

MisterPerfect said:


> What does that even mean?
> 
> Like they are super dedicated to church or that they like rock music?


Like rock music


----------



## randomshoes (Dec 11, 2013)

MisterPerfect said:


> It probobly means they were rejected by other black people for NOT BEING BLACK ENOUGH. Have you not ever seen this stuff happen? Where people try to act like something that is not stereotypical to thier race and they say "You acting white". That or the stupid coconut analogy. I been told I act white since I dont act ethnic enough. *I know what race I am, but I dont go out of my way to identify with it.*


Do you go out of your way to separate yourself from them? Cause that's what we're talking about here.


----------



## MisterPerfect (Nov 20, 2015)

randomshoes said:


> Do you go out of your way to separate yourself from them? Cause that's what we're talking about here.


No, its the fact people from that group have chosen to separate those individuals. That is what I am saying.

Example: Not black enough if you listen to wrap 
Example: Not Hispanic if you dont know Spanish 

See? You really can not blame people for a group not wanting them.

Explain to me why you believe that everyone has to confirm to the idea of what a girl likes to do, what a black person acts like, what a Mexican acts like and not just be themselves? So the fact they dont fit what society tells them means they are automatically a terrible person, or that they have faked being part of that group? Oh your not a girl since you dont wear a dress. Yeah! SURE, make a lot of sense to think that way.

Apparently none of you have any sense of diversity and have never dealt with mixed crowds of different people from different cities, backgrounds, ethnic groups, religions. If so you would have understood all of this and see how much it happens.


----------



## randomshoes (Dec 11, 2013)

MisterPerfect said:


> No, its the fact people from that group have chosen to separate those individuals. That is what I am saying.


But _describing_ yourself as inherently different from the group is confirming what they're saying about you, as well as the stereotypes those people were buying into. There's a difference between a woman, say, not interacting with a group of women because she has been ostracized by them for not fitting in some way, and her responding by buying into the idea *that they are the real women* and saying that she's not like most women. That means you think most women (/black people etc) are like the group that ostracized you, and really like that, not just buying into the pressure of racism or sexism. Plus, most people that use this phrase or similar phrases are saying it with an air of _smugness_.


----------



## Caveman Dreams (Nov 3, 2015)

Wow Im actually kind of shocked at some of the responses here.

In all seriousness.

I honestly thought that (at least in terms of dating and relationships) when a guy or a woman is speaking to someone they like an dthey say this. They understand that there are a lot of people out there and who ever they are speaking to probably has some sort of options, we are not obliged to like someone or get with someone after all.

So they say this to make themselves stand out, sure it may come from a place of low self esteem.

But I never honestly viewed it as an attack on everyone else. I just viewed it as someone trying to sell themselves as genrally in the relationship sense, standing out is what gets you noticed.

If I were to dress, talk, walk exactly the same as every other man. What would make me noticed above the rest (even in interviews), nothing we would just all be calvin klein clones. But if I do something differently, wear something differently speak some way differently. I will stand out.

For example if there are 10 people with British Accents and 1 person with an American accent who is going to get noticed?

Of course this I snot good, nor is it bad.

It is just amplification.

If someone stands out and they have a klot of negative traits, the negative traits will get noticed more. Like wise if someone has a lot of good traits, the good traits will stand out more.

When I say good/negative I mean whatever the person Is looking for. If I have a trait that I class as good, that does not mean that an interviewer/rromantic partner/boss etc, will view it as good just because I do.


----------



## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

Kerik_S said:


> Like rock music


Is this the music 'hardcore' Christians listen to?


----------



## Kerik_S (Aug 26, 2015)

ninjahitsawall said:


> Is this the music 'hardcore' Christians listen to?


I love RED!

And idk... maybe.

It's just the sentiment that Christians can't have emotional edge that bleeds through those "hardcore" Christian statements


----------



## MisterPerfect (Nov 20, 2015)

randomshoes said:


> But _describing_ yourself as inherently different from the group is confirming what they're saying about you, as well as the stereotypes those people were buying into. There's a difference between a woman, say, not interacting with a group of women because she has been ostracized by them for not fitting in some way, and her responding by buying into the idea *that they are the real women* and saying that she's not like most women. That means you think most women (/black people etc) are like the group that ostracized you, and really like that, not just buying into the pressure of racism or sexism. Plus, most people that use this phrase or similar phrases are saying it with an air of _smugness_.


You need to look at things from their perspective not yours. Though its clear your very narrow minded so such things are probobly hard. They have accepted the fact they are different or an outcast from said group. Probably due to rejection or realizing they do not fit the social norms of that group. So its kind of like saying "Sorry Im not normal". Its not necessarily saying "Im so special look at me". Though you probobly never been at the other end of the gate, so you dont really understand what rejection feels like. There are people on the other side you know. Even if you choose to ignore them.


----------



## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

Kerik_S said:


> I love RED!
> 
> And idk... maybe.
> 
> It's just the sentiment that Christians can't have emotional edge that bleeds through those "hardcore" Christian statements


I do too and I'm not even religious. They're supposedly a "Christian rock" band.

I know someone like that actually. We met on YouTube because she's a movies/music nerd and we had similar taste. She is Christian and I had no idea at first. (I also thought she was a dude haha, didn't specify on the internet). She likes thriller and crime films (like American Psycho and Fight Club), anything with zombies, and rock and grunge music. Dark sense of humor. lol. So... not like most girls.. :laughing:


----------



## Kerik_S (Aug 26, 2015)

ninjahitsawall said:


> So... not like most girls.. :laughing:


Get outta heyyyeeerrrr


----------



## Sunn (Mar 12, 2014)

kaleidoscope said:


> Right back at you. Stick to personal attacks and you're golden. :kitteh:


It's only personal if it's your person Kaleid.

:happy:


----------



## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

Sunn said:


> It's only personal if it's your person Kaleid.
> 
> :happy:


K. Ready to move on? Or must you have the last word? I can let you have it if it really really means a lot to you.


----------



## Sunn (Mar 12, 2014)

kaleidoscope said:


> K. Ready to move on? Or must you have the last word? I can let you have it if it really really means a lot to you.


It means everything because if you get the last word it means accepting you when I obviously do not. Thank you for your thoughtful consideration. I'm glad I got the opportunity to derail this terribly put together discussion.


----------



## randomshoes (Dec 11, 2013)

Catwalk said:


> Thus, the ''point'' of my previous posts - when (X) individual must appeal - to other individuals, with certain characteristics they find appealing, it is normal for one to assert why they are more appealing that other applicants.
> 
> Numerous individuals here, imply, the statement, ''I'm not like most girls'' - is misogynistic; I disagree.
> 
> If a generalization is back-up by evidence (i.e., I am demonstrably different that the surrounding females); then my generalization is accurate. Thus, ''I'm not like most girls'' - obtains.


1) You are still evaluating the accuracy of the literal statement and ignoring its implications. This is not math, this is interpersonal interactions.

2) There is no need, when trying to sell yourself in whatever context, to claim you are not like some giant group of people with ill-defined qualities. You generalize "girls" (note also the fact that the word "women" is rarely used), instead of either saying "I am not like most people" or "I am an unusual person." That is at best unnecessary. If you are trying to assert that you either have qualities that are unusual or lack qualities that are usual, why not be more specific? Saying, "I took Calculus in 8th grade," is inherently more impressive than saying "I'm not like other girls," or even, "I'm not like other girls; I'm good at math." It's easy to sell yourself while avoiding generalizing about other people, and it's more believable to boot.

3) I am not saying that the literal sentence "I am not like other girls," free of context, is 100% always misogynistic. This thread was created for people to share their experiences and associations with this phrase, and that is what most people are doing. I myself am saying that this phrase has, in MOST contexts, unfortunate implications. I would also like to add that I am not saying anyone who uses this phrase is consciously misogynistic, just that when they use it is has a lot of problematic implications. I am not attacking them, I'm saying it makes me uncomfortable when they say it. I believe women who say this with a smug or judging tone are also victims of the pressures of sexism, but they are responding by consciously or unconsciously lashing out at other people in the oppressed group, and I don't appreciate being caught in the crossfire.



Catwalk said:


> Yeah - ''physical'' attributes are obvious - ''personal interests'', usually, are not. How do you expect to be 'discovered' as a prodigy genuis, if you only play in your _basement_?
> 
> X person asserts they are 'well-equipped' for X job or better fit for X job,
> 
> ...


Tell them your achievements. Show them your skills. Again, this is actually _more_ effective than making a vague, self-aggrandizing statement.



Catwalk said:


> I ''generalize'' all women as having 'female' attributes; If this demonstrated to be 'truth' does this ''invalidate'' my 'generalization' (?)


This sentence is gobbledegook. Of course your statement is not invalidated by it being demonstrated as truth. What are you even talking about?

Also, you are yet again talking in terms of literal factual accuracy. Calling something misogynistic is not actually about invalidating its literal logical meaning (although it can do that), it is a statement about its implications.



Catwalk said:


> Then, why does it mean when the other users assert, ''I agree, I'm like most girls ...'' (?) Why focus on ''I'm not like most girls'' - when the 1st order claim is, innately, ''mostly all girls are the same''.


This is also gobbled. Whose 1st order claim? Yours? Mine? Another poster's? I have already stated that this is not a claim I am making. In fact I am making the opposite claim.


----------



## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

randomshoes said:


> 1) You are still evaluating the accuracy of the literal statement and ignoring its implications. This is not math, this is interpersonal interactions.


(A) My stance derives from posts --> (#41, #86, #97, #98). Not ''yours'' - my post (#20) - was stated in 'opinion' like other users, however, I was then quoted with a response (i.e., my ''statement'' implies that most 'feminine' women are flawed) to my post, in which ''this'' derives from.


* *






> 2) There is no need, when trying to sell yourself in whatever context, to claim you are not like some giant group of people with ill-defined qualities. You generalize "girls" (note also the fact that the word "women" is rarely used), instead of either saying "I am not like most people" or "I am an unusual person." That is at best unnecessary. If you are trying to assert that you either have qualities that are unusual or lack qualities that are usual, *why not be more specific? *Saying, "I took Calculus in 8th grade," is inherently more impressive than saying "I'm not like other girls," or even, "I'm not like other girls; I'm good at math." It's easy to sell yourself while avoiding generalizing about other people, and it's more believable to boot.





(B) _As stated_; I repeat --> if statement is ''accurately'' supported (via) empirical evidences + credits - et al; then, I can ''assert'' all I want, other persons ''feelings'' have no play in whether I should ''downgrade / tone'' myself down - perhaps, _catch up_.

However, I am not that kind of individual - thus, I do not fully ''understand'' those that sit around on the sidelines _*waiting*_ to be discovered - that is not my strategic method to attain gains - but this is irrelevant to discourse.

As I notioned, _my_ statement implies ''most'' girls within approximate vicinity - not 'within' the _world_. Within 'appromiximate' locality, I can support my stance - in which, if valid - my statement is harmless; but rather strikes nerves. 

I generalize ''women'' - because ''women'' have 1st been associated to have a set of static ''characteristics'' solely, innate - as claimed - to _women_; thus, if I am 'gaining' interest from a male - as stated within (post #20) - my strategic ''method'' is to _distinguish_ myself from previous exes (i.e., most girls he has contacted) - which, is my main motivation behind the statement.

Asserting, ''I am _unusual_'' is not unnecessary if my ''reasoning / explanation'' _follows_ ----> 'specifics'. Your premise assumes that my ''statement'' is empty - _regardless._ (re: ''personal implications'') - as claimed.



> 3) I am not saying that the literal sentence "I am not like other girls," free of context, is 100% always misogynistic. This thread was created for people to share their experiences and associations with this phrase, and that is what most people are doing.


_I know_. See (A).. --> Also see posts (#4, #11) - to catch my _gist_.



> Tell them your achievements. Show them your skills. Again, this is actually _more_ effective than making a vague, self-aggrandizing statement.


Yeah - as stated, for the 1000th time (via) posts --> #20, #52, #66, #73; IF my ''assertions'' are backed, (i.e., display / credits / demonstration) - then I see nothing initial wrong with the statement; screw the other applicants - I am not your *friend*, buddy! We are going for the same position - with one _slot._ 



> This sentence is gobbledegook. Of course your statement is not invalidated by it being demonstrated as truth. What are you even talking about?
> 
> Also, you are yet again talking in terms of literal factual accuracy. Calling something misogynistic is not actually about invalidating its literal logical meaning (although it can do that), it is a statement about its implications.


Thus, this entire thread is just personal gibberish / bias + feeling nonsense? I _figured_ I understand both sides coherently; but then, I was quoted See (A).

.. However, a pleasingly _thoughtful_ reminder - indeed, thus - I withdraw and you all shall carry on with the personal gibberish, MY personal gibberish was ''stated'' (Post #20) - and; now that we ''both'' agree - my job here is done.

_________________________

Complied.


----------



## J Squirrel (Jun 2, 2012)

Stelliferous said:


> You guys are just imagining a person you don't like and attaching the saying to them. Yeah there are a lot of tom boys, but not because of social reasons for most of them. A lot of them are like that for personal reasons, whether their parent subtly wanted a boy, or they truly enjoy sports and stuff. Yeah some of them are just trying to hate on feminine qualities, but nowhere near all of them. You just see what you want to see. If you think all women who say "I'm not like other girls" is doing so out of hatred or disgust to feminine traits, then you're just using your imagination too much. 90% of the time it's about them and is personal, not about hatred toward others.
> 
> It could also be about something much more specific and the person just happened to leave a few words out. If I said, "I'm not like other white guys" and then followed it up with "I'm not racist" would you think that I thought white guys are usually racist? Or that some white guys are racist and others are not racist and I happen to be a part of the group that isn't racist? Why does it have to be about special snowflake syndrome? Again you guys are using too much of your imagination to paint the picture how you want to see it. *If someone says "I'm not like other girls" and you judge them immediately or feel ill of them immediately then you are projecting your own feelings into them. *it is very much likely that they are not meaning it in a negative away. Truly I think it says more about the respondent to the statement than the person saying the statement whenever there is something vague being said.


Because nobody ever says something like that while making their reasoning for it clear. When this phrase is commonly used in the media, the one dimensional characters saying it are completely opaque in what they mean. There's no possible way to figure out meanings behind it, so everyone here must be projecting and imagining.

But wait, if that's the case, how do we know you aren't projecting and imagining right now?



niss said:


> Really. So you are saying that you have women saying such things to you, without much context? IOW, women that you don't really know and are unaware of why they might be making these statements, are randomly coming up to you (or others) and are denigrating other women and declaring that "they are not like other women."


And this, children, is a scientific phenomenon called "making things up."



niss said:


> Excuse me if I seem overly skeptical, but that appears to be outside the norm of human behavior.


Go outside more? Seriously, I'm a withdrawn introvert, and people use that phrase a lot. It is in the media a lot too.

Unless of course you mean the behavior you completely made up in your previous paragraph, in which case it isn't actually relevant to the conversation that this thread was attempting to have.



Catwalk said:


> I am also waiting to hear, for those that stated ..
> 
> --> ''Yeah, I agree with OP, I'm like *most* girls'' -
> 
> ...












1. You put something in quotes which literally nobody in the thread has said. That's not how quotation marks work. Also, OP never said anything resembling what your made up quote is supposed to be agreeing with her about. Again we see another example of making things up.

2. You're still waiting to hear what most girls are like? You ask this in a thread when the whole point of the thread is about people who compare themselves to projected stereotypes? I'm honestly confused why you're posting so frequently in a thread when the point of it has flown so completely over your head.




Catwalk said:


> The OP does not imply ''physical attributes'' - but rather _social constructs_ (via) human personality traits; thus, ''feminine / masucline'' traits are static.


You skipped a step or three that would be necessary for this to become a logical statement.



Catwalk said:


> the OP doesn't appear coherent to me


Irony.



Catwalk said:


> If; it is _demonstrated _- that women, do not normally play video games - and, _*it is*_.


Except this is nowhere near being a factual statement, which at this point I don't find surprising.



Sunn said:


> Then why would you make any form of a discussion if you're just going to bluntly tell others their opinion's don't matter?


There's a difference between having an opinion and making shit up to derail a thread.

To round up all the people who do agree with your opinions while essentially shutting all other opinions off?



Sunn said:


> Why even post to begin with? Are you just looking for validation while shutting everything out?
> 
> What's your point? Doesn't mean you can't hear others out and draw a conclusion on the best form of thought towards the subject but you'd actually have to have a *discussion* then.


Clearly she was trying to have a discussion until some people came in here with the sole purpose of derailing it. How is that not obvious?

Wait, never mind, I think I figured it out.



> The word ignorant is an adjective describing a person in the state of being unaware and is often used to *describe individuals who deliberately ignore or disregard important information or facts.*


Wikipedia 

(Okay, I came up with a couple other reasons too, but that's by far the most charitable of them.)


----------



## niss (Apr 25, 2010)

J Squirrel said:


> And this, children, is a scientific phenomenon called "making things up."
> 
> 
> 
> ...


You really have a problem following rational thought, don't you? It might be better that if you actually can't discuss a topic with me, without trying to be a dick, that you just avoid my posts.


----------



## J Squirrel (Jun 2, 2012)

niss said:


> You really have a problem following rational thought, don't you? It might be better that if you actually can't discuss a topic with me, without trying to be a dick, that you just avoid my posts.


I follow it just fine in places it is actually present.

The topic of this thread is a pretty common thing. It is in the media a lot, and it isn't something infrequent when interacting with people. Honestly if you don't know that, I don't know what else to say aside from go outside more? And seriously, coming in here, making up things OP never said just to derail the topic, then pretending like you're trying to actually discuss stuff? You might want to try harder.


----------



## Sunn (Mar 12, 2014)

J Squirrel said:


> You might want to try harder.


You're derailing harder than I was lmao. I'm assuming that you don't notice subtle-que's in the context of how people word their reply's but that's what most of the Judgers in this thread are arguing' the very substance of OP's posts. 

Wording. You do know wording plays a large role in social context. Right? You may have to go outside to understand that though. Might wana grab some Suntan lotion before you head out too so you don't end up hurting more than your head.



> You might want to try harder


Some people don't think you're a fool just yet, keep speaking. Remove all doubt.


----------



## chanteuse (May 30, 2014)

*Mod here

Please stay on the topic
Be civil when replying
Agree to disagree
Do not personal attack, implied or otherwise

*


----------



## aef8234 (Feb 18, 2012)

I usually ask if they're lesbian. I mean it sounds like they have *intimate *knowledge of most girls.
That or they're overcompensating for something in which case, shock value for hilarity.


----------



## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

Stelliferous said:


> Does saying that you are different, *without any specifics*, actually insult anybody???
> 
> edit: YOU are the one filling in the blanks. All that is said is "I am not like most other girls" and you interpret it as an insult because you filled in the rest with your imagination... Therefore you insulted yourself.
> 
> ...



Oh, but there always are specifics. Comments like this always have context - things like tone of voice and other comments made in the course of the conversation.

Without any context, sure, you cannot come to much conclusion at all about the meaning of such a comment. But yes, most of us here are remembering the many times we have heard such comments & the contexts they were made in, and we are noting the typical pattern in attitude that the context reveals.


----------



## Sygma (Dec 19, 2014)

Catwalk said:


> I see no _initial_ complications with it - _in fact_, I use this line in a variation of ways; it is a successful + _useful_ mating strategy among females (via) temporary tranquilization of the male sex drive.
> 
> I will do anything to differentiate + gain leverage over other women that does not exempt me from the commons; thus the statement is highly productive, you must back it up - evidently, my statement is highly accurate (via) persona and/or appealing to the individual in which I am flaunting my mate value.
> 
> ...



Because people are afraid (and I kinda insist on that word) of admitting that they're perfectly happy with themselves. Pretty sad, right ?


----------



## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

Sygma said:


> Because people are afraid (and I kinda insist on that word) of admitting that they're perfectly happy with themselves. Pretty sad, right ?


Could you explain your comment further?


----------



## Glory (Sep 28, 2013)

I don't care about what most people think.


----------



## perpetuallyreticent (Sep 24, 2014)

It's a pointless statement, and could mean a million different things. What group of qualities determine the majority of girls? I guess what others have said- catty, gossip-y, only being interested in shopping and really materialistic. 

I don't personally think I'm any of those things, but "most girls" aren't a group of characteristics. And it becomes even more scarce when you take age into account. You're going to see a lot less of those characteristics if the female is over a certain age, too.


----------



## Glory (Sep 28, 2013)

People who strongly push against stereotypes and generalisations tend to fulfil them.


----------



## Stickman (Sep 30, 2012)

I'm not like most girls.

I have a penis.


----------



## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

Stickman said:


> I'm not like most girls.
> 
> I have a penis.


Meh. Is that really worth bragging about that though?


----------



## Stickman (Sep 30, 2012)

kaleidoscope said:


> Meh. Is that really worth bragging about that though?


No. 

What's your point?


----------



## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

kaleidoscope said:


> Meh. Is that really worth bragging about that though?


depends. is it a nice penis?


----------



## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

Sygma said:


> Because people are afraid (and I kinda insist on that word) of admitting that they're perfectly happy with themselves. Pretty sad, right ?


Dunno - but I see no ''reasoning'' to downplay + _taper_ myself to make individuals more ''comfortable'' - _if _this is the case, I run things, I control things - if not, I will *make* it like so - or withdraw myself to gain control. 

I do not care about others' feelings on the matter - you do not have to work for (i.e., subject yourself to) *Catwalk Enterprise*™. 

So long I don't ''break'' the rules of the competition (i.e., deplete / disengage from womanhood) - I see no issue with _accelerating_ myself or asserting anything I please; the statement is harmless - only an inferior would complain; the fact is - it may not ''_seem_'' like a competition - but people will very well pass you, if you let them (via) _bullshit_ (désolée pour ma vulgarité..) ---> ''you don't have to be yourself'' <--- nonsense. I see it happen.

I use the statement to gain leverage - it is backed (via) empirical demonstration. Some males / females _may_ disagree - but I've got a sloo' of tit-suckers that do not care; there is no _need_ to critique (i.e., compromise self w/out gains) for the mass; you are a master of yourself. 

INTJ™'s do not assert things without in depth ponder; this is a conclusive method to be _prosperous_ within human ecology.

_____________________

Complied.


----------



## Sygma (Dec 19, 2014)

Catwalk said:


> (désolée pour ma vulgarité..)


Aucun problème, classy lady, these are just harmless words 



> ---> ''you don't have to be yourself'' <--- nonsense.


I do agree



> I use the statement to gain leverage - it is backed (via) empirical demonstration. Some males / females _may_ disagree - but I've got a sloo' of tit-suckers that do not care; there is no _need_ to critique (i.e., compromise self w/out gains) for the mass; you are a master of yourself.


Agree ²

Let those who cannot understand at their place and everyone will be happy


----------



## Playful Proxy (Feb 6, 2012)

Honestly I put this phrase in there with: 
- "I'm an INFJ, we're so rare"
- "I'm a panromantic demisexual genderqueer demigirl goat-kin libra with PTSD, bipolar (all self-diagnosed, of course), and a love of <insert quirky cartoon of the month here>"
- "I'm so misunderstood"
- "Most people just wouldn't understand" 

Honestly I can sum up pretty much all of that as, "I'm insecure and begging for attention. Talking to me will make you want to throw something or your brain will drain out of your ears, whichever happens first."


----------



## autsdraws (Dec 6, 2015)

I used to say things like that, like *I'm not like most girls,* but I feel like the phrase is overused to an extent that girls who feel that way can be more common than "normal" girls, if that makes any sense. I think all of us are different, and saying "I'm not like everyone else" is rather stupid, because no one is like everyone else. We're all different, and not being obsessed with fashion and manicures (or whatever the stereotype is) doesn't make you special.


----------



## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

I think context is important. "I'm not like all of the other girls..." :tongue:





(This damn song keeps getting in my head when I see the thread. lol)


----------



## Wednesday Mermaid (May 30, 2015)

I really hate this phrase because it implies that Most Girls are undesirable; that femininity is less desirable in a woman than an alternative.

I am feminine. I wear dresses almost every day, and makeup is a hobby of mine. I'm short and hourglass shaped with a high-pitched voice. I spend a lot of time reading, gardening, crafting, and sewing. I'm highly romantic, always have been, and I write a lot of poetry. I play cello for fun. I'm a full-time goth, and in order to maintain it I spend a lot of time on my appearance. To the general observer my demeanor is sweet, cute, and quiet. 

This I've heard often and I've heard two things about it:
-It's disgusting
-It's sexy

I don't understand why my personality and actions are objectified this way. I don't care if you find my actions disgusting, and I don't care if you find them sexy. I don't grow flowers for anyone except myself. I don't waltz around telling people that someday my prince will come to save me. I am feminine, but I am also an ambitious woman. Most of my time is spent furthering my career. I am the breadwinner in my relationship.

Still, despite being a highly successful and well-educated person, people still tell me that it's "so hot" the way I embrace my girlishness as if it were something taboo. People say it's "shocking" the way I call myself progressive, as if my penchant for bows and pearls makes me a less legitimate mind or speaker.

For a long time I tried to fight the girl within me because I felt like no one would ever take me seriously. However, I just don't feel comfortable being "one of the guys" I like who I am, and I don't want to have to change that.

TLDR, there's nothing wrong with being like "most girls".

I might get a lot of flack for this post but I'm just speaking my mind...


----------



## Wednesday Mermaid (May 30, 2015)

Playful Proxy said:


> - "I'm an INFJ, we're so rare"
> - "I'm a panromantic demisexual genderqueer demigirl goat-kin libra with PTSD, bipolar (all self-diagnosed, of course), and a love of <insert quirky cartoon of the month here>"
> - "I'm so misunderstood"
> - "Most people just wouldn't understand"


All of these make me furious. :angry:


----------



## Kore (Aug 10, 2012)

This reminds me of the time a guy friend said to me "You're not like most girls that play video games. Most of them talk constantly about how cool they are because they're a girl who plays video games."

Carry on.


----------



## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

kaleidoscope said:


> This statement is something I've often seen both online and offline - some people separate themselves from their own gender in order to portray themselves as an interesting person. I've also noticed this in movies and shows, where say, Robin Scherbatsky from HIMYM will enjoy whisky and guns, and how 'hot' it is considered when a woman adopts more masculine traits and looks down on the more feminine woman, who may enjoy shopping or gossiping or whatever is considered a typically 'girly' activity. I'm absolutely not saying that women may not genuinely have those more 'masculine' interests, but from what I've seen, it can also be adopted to come across as more cool, or interesting.
> 
> From personal experience, as someone who falls in the middle of the spectrum as being quite girly but also enjoying what are deemed as more masculine activities, I've noticed this same reaction from a lot of guys. They literally melt when they realize I don't like shopping, that I love playing video games or reading/watching science fiction.
> 
> ...


Which only makes you seem far hotter to me.


----------



## POLYHEDRON (Dec 14, 2015)

I personally don't really care. Unless you're saying that to get my attention. 
In that case, I'd just cut myself off emotionally from that person. 
'I'm not like most girls' what does that even mean? -.-


----------



## Prada (Sep 10, 2015)

I don't really care how others perceive me. I love computer games but also shopping. My interests are my own and for my own amusement only. Besides, I don't believe there is such thing as "masculine" or "feminine" hobbies. All hobbies are unisex unless they require certain genitalia to be executed. So, stop putting yourself into boxes and do whatever feels right for you.


----------



## Saika (Dec 7, 2015)

The London Watch said:


> This kind of reminds me of those annoying memes that float around on social media that go: "Only *X* will understand this!!!1111!111!!" Like it is supposed to be only identifiable to a super minority, then it gets _millions_ of shares.
> 
> Or how about "foodie" posts. A particularly sensationalised "foodie" post is the super attention craving posts on Twitter and Instagram by young girls that go "I _love_ food, I am a _girl_ that likes _eating;_ look at meeee!" Yeah, I'm glad you do not buy into the shite pressure to starve yourself, love, but literally all women like food just look at all the the young girls who have liked your picture.
> 
> ...


Way to change the subject rofl


----------



## Fumetsu (Oct 7, 2015)

Comatose said:


> I personally don't really care. Unless you're saying that to get my attention.
> In that case, I'd just cut myself off emotionally from that person.
> 'I'm not like most girls' what does that even mean? -.-


It means that they are tough and badass because they swear and play video games.

I swear all the fucking time. It doesn't make me tough. It makes me sound a fucking idiot with nothing important to say. It's a bad habit.

I mean, far be it from me to pull that 1950's "ladies shouldn't swear" shit but you know, "Everything in moderation." So I really should cut back at least.

No, what makes me "Tough" is that I should have died at least three or four times by now instead of only once.

That has nothing at all to do with gender and probably something to do with being a stubborn ENTJ/8.


----------



## piano (May 21, 2015)

Catwalk said:


> Dunno - but I see no ''reasoning'' to downplay + _taper_ myself to make individuals more ''comfortable'' - _if _this is the case, I run things, I control things - if not, I will *make* it like so - or withdraw myself to gain control.
> 
> I do not care about others' feelings on the matter - you do not have to work for (i.e., subject yourself to) *Catwalk Enterprise*™.
> 
> ...


well, the honesty is refreshing. keep doin you catwalk.


----------



## Sygma (Dec 19, 2014)

kaleidoscope said:


> Could you explain your comment further?


Certainly. Most of those having pride in being in a relationship while looking down at *single individuals* who are confident in their own skin simply don't have as much.

It's a form of reducing one's satisfaction because he / she doesn't have an expected status in society, thus said person should keep a *low profile.* If said individual(s) would be alone, he / she / they wouldn't display at all the kind of confidence they do mock.


----------



## marblecloud95 (Aug 12, 2015)

Wednesday Mermaid said:


> All of these make me furious. :angry:


Calm down now, people are varying levels of maturity, it's not worth it being angry at them.


----------



## Sovereign (Aug 19, 2011)

When I hear "I'm not like most girls," I strongly suspect that I'm conversing with a bullshitter. But don't worry, I make sure they know that.


----------



## g_w (Apr 16, 2013)

Fumetsu said:


> And they are always so transparent.
> 
> I like to dress nice, it's good for self esteem.
> 
> ...


...could that post (either the contents themselves, *or* the "you don't have to dress nice" woman) be considered catty? /dry>


----------



## g_w (Apr 16, 2013)

kaleidoscope said:


> Pretty much. Thanks for translating, because I really cannot comprehend @_Catwalk_ 's posts for the life of me.


...and is that because you're like most women, or because she's NOT like most women? /apple of discord> /sarc>


----------



## Vanitas (Dec 13, 2009)

Without going off on a tangent about my formative years, things collided/planets aligned that made me develop 'masculine' interests *and* 'feminine' interests, the latter allow me to _look_ traditionally feminine (well, and genetics). I always find it interesting (better than being jaded/cynical about it) how people assume your interests/character from how you look.

When I was younger I'd try to correct them, or to 'show' my non-barbie-playing-ness. It felt like I did not entirely exist if they don't 'know' that side of me too. Might have gone overboard at times, that crusade of 'I'm not JUST my face!'. 

Nowadays I no longer care as much. Maybe I've accepted that most people won't get to know the entirety of me and that is alright. Expected even.

Some of those who said 'I'm not like most girls' might be genuinely frustrated, or had an experience where they were unfairly stereotyped (it's a bit punch worthy how easily some people say "girls are just like that" to handwave away a situation). Others (most?) could be simply wanting attention and novelty value to attract someone/boost their own uniqueness quotient. I think if you know them enough, you could tell which is which.


----------



## lolthevoidlol (May 19, 2011)

100% of the time I've heard this phrase it's been a dig at women as a whole, saying that there's something undesirable about most women (being catty, being emotional, being dramatic, being superficial, caring about their appearance, whatever) that this special snowflake who is speaking is soooo above and better than. It's straight up internalized misogyny, characterizing half the population as the same in a negative way and trying to say you're separate from that. It's egotistic behavior meant to bolster self worth. I'm saying this as someone who was there at one point in their life- I used to be proud that I wasn't into most feminine things. Gag. Thank god I grew the fuck up and realized that it makes not one tiny bit of difference whether someone likes painting their nails or tromping about in the woods. Good for anyone who knows what makes them happy, there's too much misery and bullshit in the world to actively get up in arms over someone enjoying any particular thing and put them down for it. Same for the musical elitists who put down others for liking pop music. Grow up and get the fuck over yourself. Who cares what music someone likes. Who cares if most people like it or it's stereotypical, that doesn't make it bad, and your interest in something less popular doesn't make you fucking special it just means you like a thing. Blagh. To me these are the exact same behaviors- "I'm awesome because I'm different and everyone else is so stereotypical/mainstream and therefor crap". 

tldr: when I hear this it's a sure sign that someone needs to grow the fuck up


----------



## la_revolucion (May 16, 2013)

Honestly it seems a bit contrived to claim that. Your uniqueness will shine through on it's own, you don't have to announce it. Plus, half this planet are women. I think it's a bit ludicrous to think all women are a certain way to begin with, period. 

Not to mention that I often see this phrase used negatively. Like as a way to talk down about other women and traditionally feminine pursuits (absolutely horrid behavior imo). Why does masculinity have to be better than femininity? Makes no sense. Instead it just strikes me as someone who is insecure and thinks that men will only like them if they act this certain way. That's just sad. You should be able to embrace who you are without using a million labels and trying to fabricate an image of yourself that probably isn't all that accurate to begin with.

As for me personally, I am pretty feminine and have always had a steady stream of romantic interests pursuing me. I like shopping, wear make-up, take a long time to get ready and adore wearing the perfectly coordinated outfit. Though I am also a gym rat (weight lifter & MMA), outdoorsy and assertive. But I also love children, cleaning and taking care of people. I am me. I adore women and men. I also love traditionally feminine and masculine things. So there you go.


----------



## Juiz (Dec 31, 2014)

I personally fall between as well. In the middle, actually I feel androgonous most of my days. While other days I confuse myself as being a guy in a female body. Or I am squealing over a hot male idol and I'm like "oh, I really am a girl. Okay." LOL

But anyway, when I hear that "I'm not like most girls" phrase I sort of want to give a dirty look, if not confused face. Like what exactly to you is your idea of "most girls"? And why are so many girls using this phrase? To try to make themselves seem more unique or interesting and get approval on it, maybe. I mean that's what I would guess off the bat. But for me personally, I get very technical about what people say and say often, wanting to ask them about it. "Could you elaborate? What do you mean by such, and why are you saying what you are saying. What is your intention?"

Imo, I think girls who want to identify with this phrase are wasting their time trying to prove they are special or worth a second look. Because if you are going about your days thinking you need to draw attention to some sort of uniqueness in you that you think no one else takes the time to appreciate, then you are robbing yourself of self-acceptance as well as actually doing more things that further show your unique personality, rather than sitting at home scrolling on tumblr, putting the tag "I'm not like most girls" and never making more of yourself. Not that you need to change or improve, but it seems like if you carry that phrase with you a lot then you secretly seek that, and yet you are being like everyone else who says the same thing. If trying to buff out your ego as a woman via "other means" that other women use as well, is your intention, then great. But I don't know, for me that just throws you back in "with the rest of them" from here.

If you are trying to exemplify your energy and who you are, but constantly reference others or compare to some collective understanding, then your shine falls short. Just be who you are and don't think you need to prove or announce it, like the above user memtioned. Work on your own opinion, of what being a divine feminine means to you, and don't give a sh-- what that means to anyone else.


----------



## bigstupidgrin (Sep 26, 2014)

It's a nothing statement. You can read whatever you want to read into it. Might as well say you enjoy long walks on the beach . 

As far as dating women with masculine/feminine interests, I never really cared. My wife is slightly on the less feminine side, I'd say half of my partners before her would classify as more feminine, and half not. I like to have some interests to myself, and share some with her. We play board games (she liked that before me), video games/watching sports (that's on me), I watch more movies that aren't just comedies because of her.


----------



## Acrylic (Dec 14, 2015)

kaleidoscope said:


> IT'S A TRAP.


Where does she get these gifs.


----------



## waybiishuman (Jan 25, 2016)

There's no "I'm not like most girls" type of girls in my opinion... Let's say those gender rules are "set" by society. So it means the stereotype such as characters and body figures are part of people's expectations on their believe. Yes, I accept the norms, but it does not mean I should follow the public. It seems like you putting too much descriptions on sex? Why don't you think about the matters reversibly. Why do guys turn off just because I don't like shopping? Why would I pay attention to the people who don't understand me?
Too much sensation thoughts may disorder you. I have no offense but I just wanted to tell you the truth. I have obviously so-called "feminine" body. However, I play online games, read articles, interested in violence images and don't like shopping. Why not? Do anyone have to doubt themselves for not being most of the girls(typically) ?


----------



## randomshoes (Dec 11, 2013)

I haven't been on the forum in almost two weeks, and having just come back to this thread, I am really impressed that it legitimately un-derailed itself. That doesn't happen often. A round of applause to everyone who's posted well-thought out responses in the last week, and a particular thank you to @Watercolourful for raising the level of discourse around here.

Cheers.


----------



## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

randomshoes said:


> I haven't been on the forum in almost two weeks, and having just come back to this thread, I am really impressed that it legitimately un-derailed itself. That doesn't happen often. A round of applause to everyone who's posted well-thought out responses in the last week, and a particular thank you to @_Watercolourful_ for raising the level of discourse around here.
> 
> Cheers.


I completely agree! I was really happy to see this thread found its way again  Thank you for your awesome contributions everyone - that includes you randomshoes.


----------



## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

I've never actually seen or heard anyone say or imply "I'm not like most girls", I only see people joking about it. Maybe I need to get out more, idk


----------



## randomshoes (Dec 11, 2013)

kaleidoscope said:


> I completely agree! I was really happy to see this thread found its way again  Thank you for your awesome contributions everyone - that includes you randomshoes.


That's sweet, but I think sometimes I can have trouble letting things go. It's too hard to resist parrying the nonsense back at them forever.

I'm always impressed by people who can ignore it, you know?


----------



## OutOfThisWorld (Nov 4, 2013)

Is it terrible of me to think that when they say, "I'm not like most girls", I'm thinking that they have some genital deformity or something...?:bored:

It's a lazy description of oneself.


----------



## Mee Liesel (Sep 16, 2015)

yeah me too...sometimes i feel like an alien..or a ghost..

people will come to me..but when i do not reply much, bcuz it's not interesting..they took a gap..LOL

who cares...


----------



## alissaa23 (Aug 4, 2013)

I hear this a lot, and I don't think I ever actually said it to anyone, but I definitely thought it in my head when I was younger. To give you a quick idea of what I'm like, I'm an INTJ 5w4 sp/so female, and I'm pretty feminine. More feminine than most INTJs or e5s. I wear dresses almost every day, love romantic movies, daydream and draw, love Disney movies, I read children's books like Peter Pan and the Wizard of Oz frequently, even though I'm 19, I really love animals and am a tree hugger studying environmental science. However, I'm not outwardly emotional at all. People tell me when they first meet me, they think I'm "cold" or "judging them." I love math and science. I'm blunt.
These contradictions have led me to think, when I was younger, that I'm "not like other girls." I didn't wear Hollister logo t-shirts and UGGs. I wasn't falling over every boy that gave me attention. I didn't play dumb or act "ditzy."
But now I realize that, yes, I'm not like other girls, but that's because I'm me, not someone else. No girl is like other girls. Everyone is an individual. I would hate it any other way.
However, we can't stop there; the phrase "I'm not like other girls" is essentially a way for females to build themselves up as "special" or "better," while tearing down traditionally feminine girls. That's a problem. The last thing we need is women tearing each other down in order to make themselves seem better. Or, we don't need women believing so deeply in female stereotypes that they believe they must insist that they "aren't like other girls" in order for people to think they are important and of value.


----------



## Sunn (Mar 12, 2014)

lycanized said:


> I've never actually seen or heard anyone say or imply "I'm not like most girls", I only see people joking about it. Maybe I need to get out more, idk


You must have a mature social-circle. 

It sounds perfectly fine just where you are! lmao. The world's full of immature.. social circles though. You wouldn't have to look far.


----------



## Sunn (Mar 12, 2014)

Prada said:


> So, stop putting yourself into boxes


Boxes have p good insulation tho. They protect you from the harsh, cold weather of life and let you ignore everything' including yourself. 








Isn't that why people like to make them in the first place? /s


----------



## Superfluous (Jan 28, 2014)

I am like most girls but shhh dont tell.


----------



## peter pettishrooms (Apr 20, 2015)

Superfluous said:


> I am like most girls but shhh dont tell.


You shouldn't have revealed that, now we'll all come after you with pitchforks and torches.


----------



## Razare (Apr 21, 2009)

Pretty sure I'd dump most any woman who says this.

To me it's like a red flag about the way a person's brain has deluded itself. It could mean a couple things, but none of the things I can imagine it means are any good.

- They think themselves better than others
- They think themselves worse than others
- They are in denial
- They lied to me

At best, they would be trying to make excuses for bizarre behavior, but I have never seen a girl use it in this manner, it is always used to portray themselves as a rare commodity.


----------



## Elspeth (Jan 24, 2013)

OutOfThisWorld said:


> Is it terrible of me to think that when they say, "I'm not like most girls", I'm thinking that they have some genital deformity or something...?:bored:
> 
> It's a lazy description of oneself.


YES!

I'm not like most girls but there is no way I would say that. I have some interests that fit the stereotypes and many that don't. Nor do I apologise for being me. I learned at school, back in the Dark Ages, not to try to fit in with the crowd by pretending to be interested in what they liked.

If people are interested in me, fine. If not, they can jump off the nearest dock.


----------

