# I just tried to kill myself but I failed.



## CocaColaBR (Jun 6, 2015)

I putted an inhaler around a plastic bag with ice, I was trying to kill me by asphyxiation with carbon dioxide. But after several minutes inhaling from the plastic bag I didn't die... Why? How much time does it takes to die?


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## Psychophant (Nov 29, 2013)

Your body isn't 100% efficient in removing oxygen from the air, so you'll still be receiving enough to live on your second or maybe third/fourth pass, which could lengthen this really unpleasant sounding endeavor. I've heard this isn't a reliable way to do it, though I could certainly think of a few ways to improve results, but I won't share them since you're supposedly Gen-Z. Why are you doing it?


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## CocaColaBR (Jun 6, 2015)

Yomiel said:


> Your body isn't 100% efficient in removing oxygen from the air, so you'll still be receiving enough to live on your second or maybe third/fourth pass, which could lengthen this really unpleasant sounding endeavor. I've heard this isn't a reliable way to do it, though I could certainly think of a few ways to improve results, but I won't share them since you're supposedly Gen-Z. Why are you doing it?


Because i don't want to live anymore, how can I improve?


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## Psychophant (Nov 29, 2013)

CocaColaBR said:


> Because i don't want to live anymore, how can I improve?


Yes, I got that part, but why? It would be really unethical for me to give suggestions, I think.


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## CocaColaBR (Jun 6, 2015)

Yomiel said:


> Yes, I got that part, but why? It would be really unethical for me to give suggestions, I think.


It's complicated, but basically I am tired of suffering because of school and having to prove to everybody something.


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## Psychophant (Nov 29, 2013)

CocaColaBR said:


> It's complicated, but basically I am tired of suffering because of school and having to prove to everybody something.


I'm sorry to hear that, but school won't last forever, nor will your current state of mind. You really should talk to a parent/counselor and see if you can get to the bottom of those issues before giving up completely.


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## Simpson17866 (Dec 3, 2014)

@CocaColaBR I would recommend reading this:

The Ten Minute Suicide Guide | Cracked.com

The phrasing is kind of ridiculous, but the content itself is still worth reading through.


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## CocaColaBR (Jun 6, 2015)

Simpson17866 said:


> @CocaColaBR I would recommend reading this:
> 
> The Ten Minute Suicide Guide | Cracked.com
> 
> The phrasing is kind of ridiculous, but the content itself is still worth reading through.


I've read some then I found it boring...


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## Simpson17866 (Dec 3, 2014)

CocaColaBR said:


> I've read some then I found it boring...


 You should still read the whole thing. It sucks at first, but I promise it gets better.


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## BenevolentBitterBleeding (Mar 16, 2015)

I would hate to be the person to find a body of someone I knew who died from a suicide.

That would probably scar me for the rest of my life. Not to mention the stench from all the waste that will have been evacuated from their bowels... Ugh. What a mess.

If nothing's going to stop you, please at least be considerate one more time for whoever that person might be!


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## CocaColaBR (Jun 6, 2015)

I have two options:

Make people around me suffer from my death.
Make me suffer from my living.

Is it worthy to suffer for someone else or someone else suffers for you?


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## Simpson17866 (Dec 3, 2014)

CocaColaBR said:


> Make people around me suffer from my death.


 Imagine a serial killer who kills victims instantly, painlessly, and makes sure they never see anything coming. Is he a good person because he didn't make his victims suffer, or is he a bad person because he made his victims' families suffer?



> Make me suffer from my living.


 How old are you approximately? Maybe round to the nearest 5 years


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## BenevolentBitterBleeding (Mar 16, 2015)

Depends on your character, your ideal and your will.


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## TheIsrafil (May 19, 2014)

Please. Don't...I promise there's something better out there just on the other side. You are absolutely loved.

I've never wanted to kill myself, but that's probably made so much less of an option after I started studying for Christ, figuring out what I wanted to do. I'm heading there a little bit at a time. I love the feeling of working towards Him. Doing something to benefit others even if sometimes I don't have any friends. It seems like all the time now. It doesn't matter. I'm still unique. I still have purpose in my thoughts. I believe everyone does, and it's something that's gotten me through dark days a stronger and more faithful person.


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## Jagdpanther (May 16, 2015)

The way you tried to kill yourself scared the crap out of me.


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## TTIOTBSAL (May 26, 2014)

You don't want to die, you don't want to live (like this) anymore. You don't have to. I was really down like that, because of something specific, but whatever the reason, you think nothing can improve anymore, and what for anyway? But it doesn't have to be. And it is true that you can get help, get other perspectives. The only thing you're stuck in is no perspective.


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## Wubtavia (Jul 22, 2015)

CocaColaBR said:


> It's complicated, but basically I am tired of suffering because of school and having to prove to everybody something.


Protip: If you feel the need to prove something, just remember that you don't have to prove ****. Anybody that feels differently, or if people are giving you a hard time...well, that's their problem, innit? They've got their own issues and insecurities they're just trying to pass off. School...why attempt to prioritize academia that holds little to no interest for you? I'm not saying school is useless, but there sure is a lot of irrelevant content you'll never use, yeah? Just gotta see it in a new light. Nothing wrong with blundering through school. The diploma at the end can still get you places, and those places will sometimes leave you feeling happier than where you might end up after some strenuous years at Uni.

Just take some deep breaths and demand/set aside time for yourself. Then figure out how to approach the troubling situation when you feel you're in a better place. Prolly could've been less blunt about some things, but hey, you only feel this way because of your current state of mind. Get out of that and you'll be golden.


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## ViceCityGentleman (Aug 8, 2015)

Commit suicide would be unacceptable. You (I imagine) is not losing a war, ready to be captured by the enemy, to have a reason to commit suicide.

And remember, had never seen anything like it on the Internet for 9 years. I hope you're a child and you are only making a bad joke.


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## Ben8 (Jul 5, 2013)

If I were you, go ahead and either go to the emergency room, or schedule an appointment to meet with your GP. Get put on some medication that will allow the pain to subside within reason. Then, talk to a counselor/therapist about your issues. There are other means than killing yourself that will alleviate your pain.


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## TheCosmicHeart (Jun 24, 2015)

Is this your way of leaving a suicide note?...by far one of the most interesting ones "hey I thought I'd take my life and post about it ...oh wait ... Nope I need better ideas first!" I'm not sure which you thought was a better idea trying to take your life or posting about this? I get that life can be pretty unhappy I'm constantly living in that reality but posting a help me commit suicide... Isn't that like punching yourself in the face? Maybe it's a cry for help I agree with @Yomiel please seek some help ... Besides I refuse to be accompli to your demise


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## Maxxie (Nov 29, 2014)

CocaColaBR said:


> I putted an inhaler around a plastic bag with ice, I was trying to kill me by asphyxiation with carbon dioxide. But after several minutes inhaling from the plastic bag I didn't die... Why? How much time does it takes to die?


Hello. How old you are? I'm 17 and I too fucking loath school. Its designed to serve a corporate agenda and most of it doesn't apply to my wants and needs. Its very fucked up. Instead of going to college I am attempting to make a living off of music and artsy fartsy stuff. I will be poor.


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## marblecloud95 (Aug 12, 2015)

Well, that's a oddly detailed way to kill yourself.


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## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

BenevolentBitterBleeding said:


> @angelfish probably. I'm just not one for medication.


Yeah, I can understand that. I'll all for being off of it when possible, but sometimes being on it - even a lot of it - is vital. I figure it this way: if you're born with a neurochemical deficiency (or overload) in your brain that's causing you to be unduly unhappy, anxious, hopeless - then taking medication to balance that is essentially bringing you as close to normal as possible. So even though an ideal state might be no medication, normal functioning is more important.


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## BluIon (Nov 10, 2014)

CocaColaBR said:


> I have two options:
> 
> Make people around me suffer from my death.
> Make me suffer from my living.
> ...


It is your choice to live or die. Anyone else's opinion of that is not relevant. Learning of a way you won't have to die is however very useful. 

Sent from my VS985 4G using Tapatalk


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## Siggy (May 25, 2009)

Hey there 

@_CocaColaBR_

How are you doing? How are things working out?

Please post and let us know


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## Ixim (Jun 19, 2013)

CocaColaBR said:


> I have two options:
> 
> Make people around me suffer from my death.
> Make me suffer from my living.
> ...


Nobody is suffering...come on! If you want to hear about a living nightmare, feel free to ask. I don't know what you're going through, but it can't be as bad as what happened to me. So get a good objective perspective, which you can if you are LII and soldier on.


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## Ixim (Jun 19, 2013)

Maxxie said:


> Hello. How old you are? I'm 17 and I too fucking loath school. Its designed to serve a corporate agenda and most of it doesn't apply to my wants and needs. Its very fucked up. Instead of going to college I am attempting to make a living off of music and artsy fartsy stuff. I will be poor.


Poor according to whose standards? Trump's? Do you really care what people such as him think? I personally find him to be a fantastic showman because let's face it, he doesn't mean at least 80% things he says. But he sure does have money, work, money, work mentality. Which I find...ok, if lacking. Work is the basic building block of economy, but one shouldn't work just because of money. One should work because he feels the need to and what he can do best. Productivity is the king, not "WORK YOU PLEB!". I thought that most nations were well past that stage...or?


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## CocaColaBR (Jun 6, 2015)

Dear Sigmund said:


> Hey there
> 
> @_CocaColaBR_
> 
> ...


The antidepressants are kind of working now with bigger dose. I'm fine for now, thanks for worrying.


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## RobynC (Jun 10, 2011)

@CocaColaBR

I'm happy to hear you're recovering


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

there is a US Nationwide hotline with people who want to talk.

1-800-273-8255

I've been depressed in my life. I've thought some pretty dark thoughts. If it helps to talk in private, please PM me.


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## Le9acyMuse (Mar 12, 2010)

OP was subtly asking for pro-life help. There are much better places than personalitycafe to get advice on self-harm.


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## Maxxie (Nov 29, 2014)

Ixim said:


> Nobody is suffering...come on! If you want to hear about a living nightmare, feel free to ask. I don't know what you're going through, but it can't be as bad as what happened to me. So get a good objective perspective, which you can if you are LII and soldier on.


... Come on, I don't think it's as easy as "get a good objective perspective." That can be far harder than it sounds. You don't know what this person is going through and believe it or not it could be worse of a situation than yours depending how one looks at it.


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## Maxxie (Nov 29, 2014)

Ixim said:


> Poor according to whose standards? Trump's? Do you really care what people such as him think? I personally find him to be a fantastic showman because let's face it, he doesn't mean at least 80% things he says. But he sure does have money, work, money, work mentality. Which I find...ok, if lacking. Work is the basic building block of economy, but one shouldn't work just because of money. One should work because he feels the need to and what he can do best. Productivity is the king, not "WORK YOU PLEB!". I thought that most nations were well past that stage...or?


I positively do not give a rat's ass what people such as Trump think. I feel the need to make art and it's what I do best and I love doing it so that is what I'll be working on for the rest of my life whether I become rich or poor to who ever's standards.


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## SevSevens (Aug 5, 2015)

This reminds me of when I used to hang off the tree by a belt around my neck. I would always chicken out and cut the belt with a knife before I chocked to death.

You're not alone but I beseech you and beg you never to kill yourself.

Life is hard and a struggle but soon the struggle becomes easier. If you are earnest, your time will come, and you will conquer. I Can see it in your aura.


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## Peter (Feb 27, 2010)

CocaColaBR said:


> It's complicated, but basically I am tired of suffering because of school and having to prove to everybody something.


What do you care what everyone else thinks? You can stop suffering and stop proving your self to others perfectly fine while being alive. You don't have to be dead for that.


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## Telepathis Goosus (Mar 28, 2015)

@CocaColaBR

Your life may or may not improve. That is partially up to you and partially a result of the other 7 billion people in the world. Ultimately, it is your choice if you wish to endure the pain or to simply let go.

However, I have been close to committing suicide in the past, and in all honesty, you know what stopped me?

The fact that it is a permanent solution for an impermanent problem. Yes, you will no longer feel the social humiliation and pain, and yes, you will no longer have to deal with anything. However, at the same time, you will no longer feel anything at all. You are presumably younger (I am as well), and most likely at this point it feels as if this is your life and there is no escape. However, by doing yourself in, you remove any and all chances of a brighter future. I am not saying it will be brighter, but you remove the chance of it. You remove the chance of ever feeling loved, wanted, enjoying life, of learning new things, of virtually everything. You remove yourself and all that comes with it. You remove feeling anything and everything. You remove. Permanently.

So let me ask you again. Is a permanent solution really worth it? Especially considering how school does not last forever? It may not get better, but I sure as hell guarantee you there is a big fat chance it _will. _

Oh, and who gives a flying fuck what others think? They're mostly ignorant pigs, after all.


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## septic tank (Jul 21, 2013)

CocaColaBR,

I don't have any answers for you, and I'm not going to pretend I can comprehend your situation completely and give you answers. I'm just here to say I'm sorry you have to go through this.


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## 66393 (Oct 17, 2013)

Le9acyMuse said:


> OP was subtly asking for pro-life help.


While this may very well be the case, it's best not to read into these things.



> There are much better places than personalitycafe to get advice on self-harm.


You forgot to begin this sentence with "in my opinion." Anyway, who cares? OP sought out advice and he is now taking the necessary steps toward recovery.


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## 66393 (Oct 17, 2013)

Ixim said:


> Poor according to whose standards? Trump's? Do you really care what people such as him think? I personally find him to be a fantastic showman because let's face it, he doesn't mean at least 80% things he says. But he sure does have money, work, money, work mentality. Which I find...ok, if lacking. Work is the basic building block of economy, but one shouldn't work just because of money. One should work because he feels the need to and what he can do best. Productivity is the king, not "WORK YOU PLEB!". I thought that most nations were well past that stage...or?


Please try not to derail and take your Trump projections to the debate forum.


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## Le9acyMuse (Mar 12, 2010)

coy said:


> While this may very well be the case, it's best not to read into these things.


That depends on the feedback one gets. I really dropped in to see where it was going. Turned out to be a cry for help, which is what it is, but I'm a tad concerned by the subterfuge used. Also concerned about the reaction to it. Played out like a social experiment...



> You forgot to begin this sentence with "in my opinion." Anyway, who cares? OP sought out advice and he is now taking the necessary steps toward recovery.


 Call it a gut feeling. OP is a stranger to me, and I don't freak when people mention death. The irony of asking bleeding hearts for fatal tips to garner expected, reflexive humanistic support was fascinating, frankly. If people think the only issue here is self-harm, they're overcome by their own empathy and mortal phobias. If this were not the case, perhaps people could better assist him, if that's what they want to do. All the same to me.


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## peter pettishrooms (Apr 20, 2015)

I tried killing myself when I was 18. But I felt like I hadn't accomplished whatever I needed to get done in life, so I convinced myself not to. I still have depression at 22 but my life situation has improved.


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## Snakecharmer (Oct 26, 2010)

I can't believe people are joking around in this thread.


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## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

CocaColaBR said:


> I putted an inhaler around a plastic bag with ice, I was trying to kill me by asphyxiation with carbon dioxide. But after several minutes inhaling from the plastic bag I didn't die... Why? How much time does it takes to die?


If you could eliminate all oxygen in the bag (which would lead to a very unpleasant death) it'd still take you up to 20 minutes to become "fully" dead (brain dead). Even with no oxygen you could still remain conscious for up to 6 minutes (but most likely around 4 minutes).

Anyway, I said this in hopes of deterring you from another attempt. if that didn't help, perhaps thinking of one of your family members finding a dead body with a deep blue face from oxygen deprivation and hearing their screams of horror in your imagination might help.


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## Swede (Apr 2, 2013)

@CocaColaBR, I'm glad that you talked with your mother and that she took you seriously. It sounds like you do have a pretty responsive support system, so it is crucial to take full advantage of that. Asking for help and taking about what hurts is key and you are doing that, which is great.

I think that many young people suffer from pretty deep depressions, but for many of us life only gets better. Life felt more like a hardship than anything else when I was in my teens to mid-twenties and after that, each year has been better than the last. It sounds cliche and ridiculous, but now I actually do see life as a fantastic gift.

I think that it is important that you speak up as soon as you feel changes for the worse. You need to really monitor yourself right now, since you are on new meds. I was taking meds (fertility drugs, so not designed in any way to impact moods and depression is not labelled as one of the side effects) a few years back and became suicidal in a very dis-attached and practical way. Luckily, I did realize that my meds were the issue and that the suicidal thoughts were not actually me or what I wanted. 

Psychopharmacology is still a relatively new area of research, so the difficulties in helping people with drugs are two-fold; first establishing the correct diagnosis and then finding the correct mix and dosage of meds to help. You can help getting the right meds by keeping track of the side-effects and informing your mom and the medical staff of these.

In regards to a diagnosis, how much have you been able to discuss with your doctor? 
It helps to write down all your thoughts before you see your doctor so that you remember everything you want to cover. For example, list your thoughts about diagnosis, side-effects, symptoms, etc.

Good luck with everything - it sounds like you are going through a very hard time and I really feel for you.


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## vivienn3 (Sep 10, 2015)

time can really help, believe or not


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## vivienn3 (Sep 10, 2015)

i really hope ppl can stop try to kill anyone, including themselves. i was just like you.


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## Snakecharmer (Oct 26, 2010)

September Is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month: Here's What You Need to Know


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## Elistra (Apr 6, 2013)

CocaColaBR said:


> I putted an inhaler around a plastic bag with ice, I was trying to kill me by asphyxiation with carbon dioxide. But after several minutes inhaling from the plastic bag I didn't die... Why? How much time does it takes to die?


Killing yourself = letting the bastards win. Why the hell would you want to let them win for?


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## redneck15 (Mar 21, 2011)

This thread should be closed. And anyone joking deserves an infraction at minimum. Do you realize you could push someone over the edge? By the fact you take this so lightly?


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## Glassland (Apr 19, 2014)

CocaColaBR said:


> It's complicated, but basically I am tired of suffering because of school and having to prove to everybody something.


You will not believe this, but your state of mind will inevitably change with time. In a few years you will be happy that you didn't succeed.
I have been a weak, fat, shy and lazy boy without a father teaching me anything. I have failed at pretty much anything, always stopped doing things because I didn't enjoy them anymore, always inconsistent with everything. I had given myself up at age 16.
But here I stand at age 22, a completely different person. Strong, disciplined, hard working, battling fear. And I have done all of this myself. Your brain changes when you get older and it isn't completely developed until age 25.

I realize that our situations are different, but essentially they are still the same. The teenage years are awkward, complicated and difficult. But you really shouldn't just give up. Life will get better.

You also need to realize that you only have this one life. You will die anyway. Could be tomorrow or in 70 years. Throwing your life away also means throwing away all the good experiences. Sex, visiting awesome places, holding your first child in your arms, seeing it growing up, eating good food, having great conversations with friends and a thousand other things I can't think of right now.


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## saxol (Aug 20, 2015)

Suicide is a fatal action that can't be reversed. Before you attempt it discuss it with friends and family, and your doctor.

Not joking at all.


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