# Why do people think I'm a chauvinist?



## DJArendee (Nov 27, 2009)

I'm getting fucking tired of this. I've been called a womanizer, a chauvinist, a player etc.

I've had one girlfriend in my life. I've never had a one night stand. Just the other day I took a girl for a walk just to get to know one another. I told her I like to breakdance at the club. She said, "so you're a womanizer? A party animal? One night stands?" I tried to defend myself by telling her my 1 gf story and she said, "yeah, the rest were just one night stands?"

Yeah. Apparently being attractive and going to the club makes me a womanizer. But this isn't the first person who's done this to me. My INTJ brother tells me I am even though I detest it. I've had other men tell me it. Now I have men telling women I'm a player. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? What do I do!? I feel like this is going to spiral out of control and none of the good women are going to be interested in me because rumor has it I'm just a player.

I like to tease women verbally. I'm very cocky and self confident. I'll tell a girl to go drink bleach, because I think that's funny. Some women don't like it, others think its hilarious. Its who I am, and I get even MORE excited when they talk trash right back to my face. Am I doing something wrong here? Is that womanizing?

Help me out, I'm clueless.


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## WolfStar (Aug 18, 2009)

No. You're fine. Continue doing what you're doing and just find those that enjoy your sense of humour.


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## RoughEstimate (Mar 10, 2012)

h8ers gon h8.
If you're actually looking for dates for the purpose of an actual attachment, this is all moot point. 
Anyone who's worth your time isn't going to buy into the hype surrounding you, because anyone who does buy into it can't think for themselves. It may even prove to your benefit, really. You've become a "settle him down" challenge.
Just be you and do your dancin' thing.


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## goodgracesbadinfluence (Feb 28, 2011)

Keep on keepin' on. At least this way, you can weed out the stupid bitches. Do you really want to be with someone who thinks you're a womaniser based on a rumour? Do you really want to be with someone who doesn't believe you when you say you've never had a one night stand? 

I don't think so.


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## Word Dispenser (May 18, 2012)

Idan of Europa said:


> I'm getting fucking tired of this. I've been called a womanizer, a chauvinist, a player etc.
> 
> I've had one girlfriend in my life. I've never had a one night stand. Just the other day I took a girl for a walk just to get to know one another. I told her I like to breakdance at the club. She said, "so you're a womanizer? A party animal? One night stands?" I tried to defend myself by telling her my 1 gf story and she said, "yeah, the rest were just one night stands?"
> 
> ...


'Cause you are! You terrible, terrible person! You should be ashamed.


Okay, so you've got a different sense of humour that offends women. I bet it offends some men, too. Oh well!

From what I've read, you don't fit into the womanizing stereotype. But, I suppose that depends... Do you do a lot of leading 'em on, flirting, and making them think that you're into them? 

I don't think it necessarily has anything to do with sleeping with them, or having multiple relationships... But, that's usually what people think.

Are you a chauvinist? Let's look at the definition, shall we?

chau·vin·ist  [shoh-vuh-nist] Show IPA 
noun 1. a person who is aggressively and blindly patriotic, especially one devoted to military glory. 

2. a person who believes one gender is superior to the other, as a male chauvinist or a female chauvinist . 

Maybe the first, but I doubt it.

If you think males are superior to females, you could be right, in a lot of ways. Let's be honest here.

But, from what I've read, you do your best to be respectful and considerate with women you're close to. 

The one's you're not so close to? They seem to be fair game.


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## Dark Romantic (Dec 27, 2011)

@Idan of Europa: I wouldn't worry about it too much, if I were you. What that basically translates into is that you have a style reminiscent of someone who's really sexual, has a lot of girls interested in him, and knows what buttons to push to charm people. Their reaction to that style is projection; the guys telling people this stuff without evidence might see you as competition, so they're trying to defuse a potential threat, the girls seeing that in you without direct evidence are probably either a) projecting their own insecurities about guys who pick them up onto you, or b) can feel themselves getting attracted to you, can't explain why, associate that vibe with smooth operators who bed a different woman every night, and are given no reason to think otherwise.

My advice, if you want to manage that, is to hint at the traits beyond "cool, funny, attractive guy" that you've got, so that your more three-dimensional aspects show themselves. You won't be "that random player, Idan", you might be "that cool, funny guy, Idan, who wants to travel the world and open a business". In other words, you'll be a person, not a random. Of course, don't get rid of the vibe you're putting out already, just make sure to round it out with some other parts of you.


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## MaWhip (Jun 7, 2012)

Idan of Europa said:


> I like to tease women verbally. I'm very cocky and self confident. I'll tell a girl to go drink bleach, because I think that's funny. Some women don't like it, others think its hilarious. Its who I am, and I get even MORE excited when they talk trash right back to my face. Am I doing something wrong here? Is that womanizing?
> 
> Help me out, I'm clueless.


Uh, yeah buddy. All those reasons above are why people think you are a womanizer and a chauvinist. It seems like you are pretty aware of the reasons people call you out like they do, but you still like doing it. You can't have it both ways. 

For the womanizer part, I was already guessing you were well dressed and smooth talker or else very confident and verbal. Whether or not you are a monogamist or even old fashioned, if you go out a lot especially for the nightlife and are well dressed and a smooth talker, well, c'mon. This could cause problems later when you want to settle down and women don't trust you.

You're biggest problem though is the fact you enjoy provoking women, especially to incite "a heated response to them" and have them "talk trash right back to [your] face" :dry: Women will read this that you don't take them seriously and are the type to toy with a woman. This is why overall you're getting assessed as both a womanizer AND a chauvinist. Either continue on as you are and have prepared to get some drinks thrown in your face along the way, or learn how to speak to women more respectfully.

Unless you are aspiring to become the next Ari Gold?


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