# Vulnerable Function



## giraffegator (Dec 28, 2014)

So I *think* I found someone who hits my vulnerable function - which would also be great for working out my type, only I'm not sure which function it or even what type he is.

Basically I get on with him great in many ways, except that he talks way too much. We work together pretty closely though, and sometimes I find myself getting a peculiar mix of intense feelings of inferiority and also complete frustration. It could partly be his total competence in an area where I am a complete novice. But I think it is also the mindframe with which he goes about it.
Basically he prepares meticulously and thinks of every option that could possibly go wrong and every opportunity that could possibly be taken up and every issue that he could possibly think to fix. Whereas I just dive in and try to figure things out sort of on the fly (with prep as well, but nowhere near as much especially of the material sort that he does. My prep is more thinking about what I will do and say. His is more like making sure all the equipment is perfect and nothing can possibly go wrong, even if that means spending hours of time creating solutions from scratch).
He's also highly methodical in an in depth way that frustrates me. When he's teaching me something I want, again, to jump around and dive in and experiment, whereas he wants to methodically explain everything in huge amounts of detail. He also often overexplains things that seem to me to be obvious and easy, not just for me but to others as well, which seems patronising to me. Like last week he spent a couple of minutes explaining to me in great detail how to put some laptops on to charge as though I'd never seen a laptop before and then asked "does that make sense? Will you be OK doing that?" I was just like... "uh, yeah that seems pretty straightforward."

Lastly, when he's actually doing the thing he spent so much time preparing for, he gets madly stressed (still competent, but stressed) and will not listen to a thing you say, even if it is directly 100% relevant to the thing he is doing at that exact moment. And then you have to tell him again later, or just watch him do it a really inefficient way or miss out on doing something he wanted to do because he was too stressed to hear you.

I have to say also that part of me is envious of his methodical mind and the way he perfects everything. But it also annoys me and makes me feel stupid, which is why I think he must be using my vulnerable function.

Also, this sounds a bit ranty like I'm just sick of my coworker, but actually I really like this guy and in general we work well together. There's just these instances where this happens, and I'm trying to convey to you the extremity of how his way is different from my way.

So what function or type does it sound like I'm describing? At first I thought he was an ENFP because he's really idealistic and draws these incredible connections and can't describe anything without using an analogy. But he's so detailed and perfectionistic that I've now started doubting that. Definitely an extrovert though.


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## The Exception (Oct 26, 2010)

Sounds like maybe he is a Te base function type- LSE or LIE. Te is the logic of procedures which sounds like what you're describing. I might lean more towards LIE for his type because it sounds like he does a lot of anticipating of what might go wrong and making sure he's prepared. Creative Ni.

Perhaps you're Te PoLR? Te PoLR types are SEI and IEI. 

Which socionics type(s) do you identify with by the way?


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## Felipe (Feb 25, 2016)

@giraffegator

I don't get it, you're talking more about his stress than yours. His stress have nothing to do with your Polr function. But anyway, he sounds like a methodical person, but are his methods based on a personal thing or an efficiency/practicality thing? He does sound LSI. However, by the way you say he tries to teach you, he does sound a bit extraverted.

I'd go with either LSI or SLE. But since you specifically explained that the methodical manner annoys you (maybe more than his pushiness), maybe your Polr is Ti. Makes sense? That would make you either IEE or SEE. 

But have in mind: just cause something annoys you that doesn't mean it's your Polr. When the Polr is triggered you usually feel shameful or incompetent and would try to prove yourself worthy in that area. It's related to the super-ego and how we think others see us I guess.


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## giraffegator (Dec 28, 2014)

@The Exception @Felipe. Sounds like it is definitely a thinking function that I'm having trouble with relating to in him, so that's interesting. What is the difference between Ti and Te?

I think he's definitely an intuitive rather than a sensor (unless I'm wrongly carrying something over from MBTI) as he's way too tangential in his thinking. You can say something and he'll launch into what seems like a totally unrelated thing (I actually don't mind that when it's friendly banter, but when I want to keep on track with a work topic it can get a bit annoying).

Felipe, do you mind explaining why my description strikes you as a sensor? Also, your comment about vulnerable function making you feel shameful and incompetent - that's exactly right! I think I said it in the OP somewhere but you probably missed it amidst all the rambling. But yea the reason why I was like OMG this is my vulnerable function (maybe) is because the way he thinks of and prepares for everything makes me feel that weird mix of irritated yet ashamed of my incapabilities. Or, actually as you said it's probably more the methodical thinking that makes me feel that, specifically. Sometimes I just feel like such an incompetent idiot because he thinks so clearly. And I feel like he thinks I'm an idiot because he's patronising, even though I know he doesn't actually think that. And I know I have strengths that he doesn't have. But it really hits a nerve.

In terms of what I think my socionics type is, I'm not sure. IEE or SEE could be right. SEI has been suggested for me on these forums.

Interesting and thanks for your help!


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

I don't think what you are describing is a PoLR reaction but it seems more related to that you don't value his particular thinking. The problem is that you aren't explaining what you mean when you say that he focuses so much on methodology for example; do you mean explaining logical relationships or do you mean giving direct advice on how to proceed? Because these things are not the same and relate to different IEs. Also, since you find hit patronizing, I would say that it's probably more that you think that he is using an IE you yourself are skilled in and he's using it poorly which is why you say that you don't think he's saying something new or interesting. Sounds to me more like his ego is a part of your id. 

Anyway, this is exactly why it's impossible to type third parties because the third party is always seen through the lens of the second party but the clarity of the second party is heavily biased by their own perception of the third party. 

I mean, if I would just go off what you describe here, he sounds like an alpha NT, but of course, that's difficult to know without actually observing him in person so I can confirm that.


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## The Exception (Oct 26, 2010)

giraffegator said:


> @*The Exception* @*Felipe*. Sounds like it is definitely a thinking function that I'm having trouble with relating to in him, so that's interesting. What is the difference between Ti and Te?


Ti is more concerned with laws and principles and logical consistency. Te is more concerned with pragmatism, procedures, and facts.


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## Lord Fenix Wulfheart (Aug 18, 2015)

He sounds very Te HA to me. He strives to embody Te but is actually stressed by doing so, and has to work extra hard to be competent at it. Alternately he could be a Ti type that has learned to work efficiently, but ends up having to work faster than he is comfortable with for the sake of the job.

Insert a dozen other possible explanations.

If I were to go off my gut I'd posit that he is Ne-dom.

Bottom line, though. It sounds to me like your problem is what he is saying being "obvious", which would not be a PoLR hit.


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## giraffegator (Dec 28, 2014)

Entropic said:


> I don't think what you are describing is a PoLR reaction but it seems more related to that you don't value his particular thinking. The problem is that you aren't explaining what you mean when you say that he focuses so much on methodology for example; do you mean explaining logical relationships or do you mean giving direct advice on how to proceed? Because these things are not the same and relate to different IEs. Also, since you find hit patronizing, I would say that it's probably more that you think that he is using an IE you yourself are skilled in and he's using it poorly which is why you say that you don't think he's saying something new or interesting. Sounds to me more like his ego is a part of your id.
> 
> Anyway, this is exactly why it's impossible to type third parties because the third party is always seen through the lens of the second party but the clarity of the second party is heavily biased by their own perception of the third party.
> 
> I mean, if I would just go off what you describe here, he sounds like an alpha NT, but of course, that's difficult to know without actually observing him in person so I can confirm that.


Interesting points! Thanks for the response. Yeah I can see how it would be hard to type someone in this way. I guess really what I'm wanting to do is to figure out what is creating these reactions in me, though.
Which comes to your point about me not valuing whatever IE he's using. Actually I can see your point, and I think there is a bit of both. So there are some points in which I respond in a disinterested or annoyed way, and it's usually when he's explaining something to me or someone else in a lengthy, detail oriented way. I was thinking about it today and it also seems to be when he wants to get just the perfect object or procedure to do the job. That's his big thing I think, just having the exact right tool and using it the exact right way. And from my point of view it sometimes seems like a waste of time, because I'm like "just use whatever will get the job done."

And then there are some times when I feel shamed by my lack of capacity (and actually this could just be skills, and not IMEs at all!). That tends to be when he methodically (not methodologically  ) works through a set of steps to solve a problem (trouble shooting). So perhaps I value half of his valued IMEs.



Lord Fenix Wulfheart said:


> He sounds very Te HA to me. He strives to embody Te but is actually stressed by doing so, and has to work extra hard to be competent at it. Alternately he could be a Ti type that has learned to work efficiently, but ends up having to work faster than he is comfortable with for the sake of the job.
> 
> Insert a dozen other possible explanations.
> 
> ...


Thanks Fenix, appreciate the reply. See above for my response on the last bit of your post.
For the rest, I initially was sure he was an Ne-dom, but then I got confused by some of his behaviour that I described in the OP. So that HA idea might have some merit.
@The Exception, thanks for the clarification. I am unsure which of those two is more like him. Probably Ti.

I think I should read a bit about hidden agenda and also type relations.

Cheers everyone!


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

@giraffegator

But that's the thing, you actually seem Fe valuing to me which becomes more obvious when you acrylic clarify what he means with methods as it becomes clearer that what annoys you is his use of Te (focusing on results). If anything, now your narrative changed and he sounds more like a delta ST, probably an SLI, because it seems to me that you describe him as having what seems to be 4D Ti. 

And for all we know this could be very wrong too.

I'd recommend that you rather fill out a questionnaire than relying on ITR. It's useful only once you know your own type imo.


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## giraffegator (Dec 28, 2014)

@Entropic will link you to the questionnaire I filled out a while ago when it's not bed time


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## Lord Fenix Wulfheart (Aug 18, 2015)

@Girrafegator
Your demeanor in this thread and the way in which you go about questioning the situation and what it means strikes me as Ti valuing. So maybe it is his Te that bothers you?

However, the other thing is it seems like the way in which he is methodical, aka the way in which he is quietly determinedly approaching things also bothers you. That isn't the logic as much as it is the worldview I suspect. It almost seems like you wish he was more active and would just "get to the point". It seems like its the energy, not the information, that bothers you most.


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## giraffegator (Dec 28, 2014)

Lord Fenix Wulfheart said:


> However, the other thing is it seems like the way in which he is methodical, aka the way in which he is quietly determinedly approaching things also bothers you. That isn't the logic as much as it is the worldview I suspect. It almost seems like you wish he was more active and would just "get to the point". It seems like its the energy, not the information, that bothers you most.


Yes! Bingo. Get to the point is exactly the phrase I often think to myself... and may have said aloud on one occasion... And yeah it's definitely the energy. When I'm not after a specific outcome I really enjoy chatting because it is all very interesting.
As for Ti valuing, that would go together with Fe valuing so people's impressions over time are definitely aligning on that axis, and I suspect it is the case also.
@Entropic, nope I lied. I don't know how to find it without trawling for hours and I'm sure as heck not doing it again.


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