# NFs: How do you behave toward someone you dislike?



## ChristynJ (Mar 27, 2014)

Do you come right out and tell someone you don't like them? Do you just avoid them? Do you drop hints, like being rude or sarcastic?


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## imaginaryrobot (Jun 11, 2013)

Usually I just avoid the person. If it's someone I can't avoid, I'll either be very closed off and say _very _little (brief, uninterested statements), or if I lose my self-control a bit temporarily I might say something rude. But I usually regret doing that almost immediately. If I can, I will try to put distance between us.


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## Angina Jolie (Feb 13, 2014)

Avoid and try to prove that I am smarter than them which proves me wrong.... But yeah, I have this terrible tendency.


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## jcatenaci (Mar 28, 2014)

Mainly I'm very clearly distant to them and I may be snarky as well. I clearly show no interest when they're talking and hope they get the hint and move on. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, it depends on how oblivious the person is.


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## Wellsy (Oct 24, 2011)

I try and limit my contact, I don't want to be around things that bother me.
Going out of my way to insult them is too much effort and likely just inflame the situation.
It's kind of hard for me to think that I dislike someone, they have to be a real piece of shit for that to be the case.
Other wise if it's just they have tendencies that are frustrating I might suggest they limit that behaviour around me.


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## 33778 (Feb 26, 2012)

I would avoid them if I can, I don´t want to be around people I don´t like, but I am "obligated"to be around them, ignoring them seems to be the best option.


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## excowboy (Aug 29, 2011)

Limiting interaction as much as possible, and if we're forced into discourse, I'm blunt and direct. If I am in a group with this person, I am probably mentally constructing a scathing diatribe about why they are awful and dissecting what it is about them that truly grinds my gears. Or I replace them in my mind with an orange traffic cone and pretend they are not there.

Fortunately meeting someone who is THAT polarizing to me is very very rare.


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## chicklit (Feb 28, 2014)

First I'm going to make sure there are others feeling the same about this person, then, when said people and the certain person are around, I'm going to approach him or her and directly tell them why I can't stand them. Kind of mean, but I feel the need to address people when they're being idiots, but I won't do it without some backup. roud:


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## DevilishlyAngelic (Sep 3, 2012)

If I can not completely avoid someone I do not like I will not talk to them, look at them, or even acknowledge that they exist if they are around me. If they do talk to _me _then I will respond back in fragment sentences. Hoping that my behavior will make them unattracted to trying to be my friend. It works lol.


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## ChristynJ (Mar 27, 2014)

excowboy said:


> Or I replace them in my mind with an orange traffic cone and pretend they are not there.


Lol.


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## ChristynJ (Mar 27, 2014)

Thanks everybody!
So what kind of behavior will make you dislike someone?
I find it interesting that I behave in a similar way as you all toward those I dislike. It's probably because everyone who answered so far is an Introvert. I would be very blunt about telling someone I didn't like them, though. I wouldn't beat around the bush _at all_.


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## chicklit (Feb 28, 2014)

People who have this "us against them" attitude are getting on my nerves way too often recently. I actually feel some kind of disgust towards them. Disrespectfulness is also unbearable for me, although that blends into the former anyway.


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## imaginaryrobot (Jun 11, 2013)

People who are very vocal about how they're right or their way of doing things is best. Argh. Basically behavior that says "I think I'm better than you all".
People who are just always being aggressive about things. 
Anyone who is mean to others and puts them down. Or takes advantage of others. Even if they don't necessarily do anything _bad _to others, I am wary of people who don't seem concerned for other people at all.
People who seem to be constantly complaining about things or make it clear they are totally bored/uninterested. Pet peeve of mine while working in groups with people. >_<
People who are obnoxious, trying to get attention, always focused on themselves.

I'm sure there are others, but those are some major ones.


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## jcatenaci (Mar 28, 2014)

People who try to pry into my private life without knowing me that well, people who continually give me advice when I haven't mentioned that I want it, people who continually deliver their jokes poorly but still laugh at them because they're trying to get others to laugh, selfish jackasses, people who feel entitled to harm others. Damn, I've got a long friggin' list of people I don't like.


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## Alaya (Nov 11, 2009)

I outright tell them, "gtfo out of my face" or some variation thereof. It just saves time. Fortunately, I don't dislike people too often, so there's that.

*So what kind of behavior will make you dislike someone?*

Rude and close-minded individuals. There's nothing like arguing with a brick wall or someone with the empathy of a lobster.


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## crystal19 (Feb 14, 2014)

I tend to avoid


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## Aelthwyn (Oct 27, 2010)

I just try to avoid interacting with them as much as possible. I usually try to be civil when we do interact because I don't want to cause any additional uncomfortable interactions which could be provoked by not being nice - I don't want to make things worse. I don't really see any point in being mean to someone I dislike, after all it's just my opinion, and avoiding any interaction at all certainly seems preferable to wasting time creating more unpleasantness.

However if they are actively pursuing unnecessary interaction with me or _trying_ to bother me then I am likely to stiffen and be more 'short' with them, particularly if I've already tried simply showing I'm uninterested in conversing with them but they haven't taken then hint. I may also on occasion opt for bluntness and tell them straight that I'd rather avoid eachother. I think I'd also be more likely to say specifically what I didn't like, rather than that I didn't like them as a whole. I usually still try to give them the benefit of the doubt though, that is I think there's probably good stuff about them that I just don't see, and generally put it down to personality clashing or immaturity or issues in their life rather than viewing them as just a bad person. If I'm cornered and feel under attack there is a slight chance I'll say something mean back based on something I've observed about them, but most of the time I can't think of anything to say at all in those situations, and feel it's better to keep my mouth shut anyways.

I may voice my frustrations with someone to a friend, but I don't try to spread dislike of them in others.



Most of the time I'll have more of a feeling of 'they're not my sort of person' rather than a feeling of real dislike. Some things that will make me want to avoid someone are:

- pushy, bossy, overbearingness, when they seem unaware of or unwilling to consider what anyone else might think or want, unwillingness to actually listen to anyone else

- condescending, arrogance that brushes off and belittles everyone else, or which treats everyone else like a child, assuming they're incapable

- trying to appear mysterious (which usually includes an arrogant 'I'm above you'-ness)

- lack of kindness or empathy, the 'suck it up' attitude, freely criticizing or making cruel remarks without consideration of how it might affect the other person, brushing off feelings as unimportant

- being overly 'objective' or one-size-fits-all in approaching people and situations, being unwilling to consider individual specifics that should be taken into account

- nitpickyness, never being satisfied with anything unless it's your own work, being easily disgusted and disappointed and unimpressed by everything and everyone that isn't completely perfect according to your own ideas

- tactlessness, and insisting that tact isn't important (I can understand being awkward, not so much insisting that there is not need to at least _try_ to be tactfull)

- always talking badly about other people, especially in a way that is trying to make others to distrust and resent and dislike whoever you're talking about

- belittling fantasy, imagination, or anything that isn't what you see as 'Practical'

- pessimism, especially when pressed upon people under the guise of 'realism', belittling of optimism and people's ideals

- pressing others into interacting when they would like to be alone, pressing them to participate in 'fun' things or group things they don't want to

- turning most conversations into arguments, and relentlessly playing devils advocate, and especially when knowingly saying things to get a rise out of someone


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## SweetPickles (Mar 19, 2012)

Avoid them like the plague, if that's not possible it's pretty obvious I don't like them.

What makes me not like them?

I hate liars, and being manipulated. I don't like it when people are condescending or make inaccurate judgements about me before they know me. I don't tolerate disrespect very well. Hmmm, I don't like being bossed around or rushed. I don't like rude people.


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## Azereiah (Mar 25, 2014)

Not really sure if I'm qualified to answer here, being uncertain if I'm an INTP or INFP, but...

If I dislike somebody, I don't need to say anything. They know. I make interaction as difficult as possible and it only gets worse trying to talk to me as they piss me off more and more. Like trying to talk to a brick wall that also happens to hate you.

What causes me to dislike people?

An extreme lack of suitable social skills. This is coming from a guy with autism - if I think it's bad, it's amazingly bad. I can understand awkwardness, but the assumption that everyone knows and cares about a movie you saw at a dollar theater ten years ago gets annoying.

I find the greedy irritating. 

I find the willingly ignorant disturbing.

Those who try to put words or meanings into others' mouths are a bother.

Those who lack honor are particularly horrid. Backstabbers, thieves (especially if stealing from the poor), legal thieves, tricksters, spinsters, propagandists, and the like.

Oh, and rude people too. Not excused by the size of your bank account or how much you give to charity - be respectful.

Sent from my SCH-S738C using Tapatalk


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## Ebon (Aug 9, 2013)

ChristynJ said:


> Do you come right out and tell someone you don't like them? Do you just avoid them? Do you drop hints, like being rude or sarcastic?


I wouldn't need to tell them I dislike them unless they asked me directly, and that's never happened. When their presence bothers me enough and interacting isn't necessary, I'll avoid them. That's kind of a hassle. More often, I'll go into a mode that feels like zoning out. This way, I can take what they say less seriously or personally while still being able to talk with them. It's like skimming the surface of a conversation, and it raises my threshold for annoyance.

If they're being disrespectful, I'll ask them what their problem is or something along those lines. Might as well say something as it's happening and make my position clear. Most people get the benefit of the doubt, so they have to be rude or demeaning in a blatant way before I'll say something.


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