# Do you believe that most people are not 100% straight or gay?



## chickydoda (Feb 12, 2010)

I was posting on this board http://personalitycafe.com/general-...here-so-many-bisexual-females-these-days.html and I managed to offend about three people when I stated one of my reasons for more girls coming out as bisexual these days. I stated the belief that everyone or at least most people with a few rare exceptions was bisexual to some extent, but most people had a preference towards the opposite gender or their gender, according to the Kinsley scale. (Sorry, this is worded badly). I thought it was more unusual to be 100% either way, and it seemed that some agreed with me.

What do you think?


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## knittigan (Sep 2, 2011)

I agree 100%. It's a very interesting question. In my experience, I don't know that many people who are 100% straight. However, I do try to respect people's right to self-determination and let them be the 100% straight minority if the want to be. After all, people have lots of different reasons for labelling themselves in particular ways.

Bisexuality among women is really complicated because while it would be disingenuous not to acknowledge the fact that women _are_ encouraged to be sexual with each other for men in a way that men aren't for women (I've heard waaaaay too many guys say that homosexuality is wrong/disgusting/etc. insofar as it pertains to men, but that it's hot when it's lesbians... hypocritical, much?), I don't think that it's fair to reduce it to this kind of attention seeking either.

For myself, I'm actually quite uncomfortable with the idea of a threesome involving a man since I don't think that my desiring other women has anything to do with a male partner. It isn't about attention, it's about the fact that I am sexually aroused by women to an almost greater extent than I am by men. I'm attracted to the way they act, I'm attracted to their bodies, I'm attracted to _them_. Full stop.

But at the same time, I do question why it seems that so many women seem to be bisexual when there have been studies suggesting a greater sexual fluidity among women than among men. I read an interesting article once which argued that it reflects the fact that women's bodies are sexualised to a greater extent than men's are and women grow up accepting of the idea that there's nothing unnatural about finding them arousing and that indeed the unnaturalness would emerge when this is _not_ the case.

But again, I'm quite wary of any claim to reduce bisexuality like that. I think that socialisation does play an important role, but it seems pretty patronising to reduce women's experiences in such a way. I'm capable of making active choices about my desire(s), thank you very much.


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## knittigan (Sep 2, 2011)

> I agree 100%. It's a very interesting question. In my experience, I don't know that many people who are 100% straight. However, I do try to respect people's right to self-determination and let them be the 100% straight minority if the want to be. After all, people have lots of different reasons for labelling themselves in particular ways.
> 
> Bisexuality among women is really complicated because while it would be disingenuous not to acknowledge the fact that women _are_ encouraged to be sexual with each other for men in a way that men aren't for women (I've heard waaaaay too many guys say that homosexuality is wrong/disgusting/etc. insofar as it pertains to men, but that it's hot when it's lesbians... hypocritical, much?), I don't think that it's fair to reduce it to this kind of attention seeking either.
> 
> ...


Sorry if that strayed too much toward the original thread.


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## chickydoda (Feb 12, 2010)

I'm confused... it looks like you agreed with me but we voted differently? I couldn't think of a way to word the voting question that was clear and made sense... I guess it was a double negative.


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## chickydoda (Feb 12, 2010)

knittigan said:


> Sorry if that strayed too much toward the original thread.


 Nah it was perfect. I'm an ENFP and we tend to stray alot when explaining our opinions than tying everything up into a pretty package by the time we've finished talking/writing, so I don't mind at all.


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## airship_nebula (Jun 6, 2011)

Yeah, I think no one's exactly, 100% straight or gay. I'm sure, whatever sexuality we are, we have this attraction to many people no matter what gender. I tend to notice how pretty a lot of girls are and have little fangirling 'girl' crushes on certain people. It's sorta like squeeing over Zooey Deschanel and how goddamn perfect she is x) But I'm unsure about being in a relationship with a girl. At this point, I'm a bit confused, but I think I'm heterosexual with a dash of ****-. I hope that makes sense


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## knittigan (Sep 2, 2011)

chickydoda said:


> I'm confused... it looks like you agreed with me but we voted differently? I couldn't think of a way to word the voting question that was clear and made sense... I guess it was a double negative.


I actually answered from my phone on the PerC app, so I didn't realise it was a poll. I just voted now.


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## Leeoflittlefaith (Dec 8, 2010)

Yeah, I think most people have at least a small percentage of gay in them if they're straight and vice versa. I think with a lot of people it lies dormant and they haven't allowed it to be awakened, but it's there. I've no real rationale for this, it just seems right to me.

I'm prepared to admit I'm a percentage gay, and there's a few male celebrities I like the look of and 'would' if I were that way inclined.


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

chickydoda said:


> I stated the belief that everyone or at least most people with a few rare exceptions was bisexual to some extent, but most people had a preference towards the opposite gender or their gender, according to the Kinsley scale. (Sorry, this is worded badly). I thought it was more unusual to be 100% either way, and it seemed that some agreed with me. What do you think?


I think that attraction is a range, not a binary, even if some people (men and women) can be so close to the endpoint(s) that they seem to be fixating on one pole of the binary.

But I've also seen women more easily fall into emotional intimacy with each other, which is a large component of long-term attraction/relationship. And for some, maybe that emotional connection can lead to physical affection/interest as well. IOW, I think it's easier for women to develop SOME kind of intimate relationship with either men or women (and it might be easier to develop it with women), whereas many men aside from sex/romantic attraction might need some coaxing from the feminine partner to become more emotionally open and intimate. 

Two men typically don't develop a lot of fast emotional intimacy with each other. It usually veers into some sort of comraderie where they go and do things together...


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## Ace Face (Nov 13, 2011)

I like my attraction scale of 1-100. This is the Ace code  Strictly my theory... don't hate, appreciate. 

There is no zero, because there's no female that hasn't at least thought that another female is beautiful. I dare say there isn't a man that wouldn't put his pride down to admit that they know an attractive man when they see one. Sure, "straighties", this doesn't mean you wanna do these attractive people, but you still find them attractive in their own rights nonetheless. If this be the most you've ever thought of someone of the same sex, you can be a ten  Low **** quality


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## ProtectorOfKittens (Oct 13, 2011)

I do think people's sexual orientation falls on a spectrum, although I only have my own experience to back that up. I call myself straight because if I am checking someone out or considering a relationship with someone, that someone is almost always a man. But there are times when I'm left breathless by a woman's beauty, and I just want to look at her forever. So the truth is that I'm not 100% straight.


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## MyName (Oct 23, 2009)

There's no way you can possibly know. Sure, alot of people have theories about attractions lying dormant in everyone, but if they never manifest themselves how can anyone say that they know that they're there in almost everyone? I didn't vote.


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## ImminentThunder (May 15, 2011)

I'm not attracted to other men at all. While there are certainly people out there who are probably a mixture of both, not everyone is like that. -_- Men are gross. LOL


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## Rose for a Heart (Nov 14, 2011)

Alfred Kinsey did a research on people's sexual orientations:
Kinsey scale - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Actually, very few of them are exclusively heterosexual/homosexual.


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## DlusionAl (Apr 9, 2011)

what he said^


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## Desolan (Nov 14, 2011)

Who knows. If I had no access to women, and was sexually provoked by guys at a young age, who knows how I would turn out. Then again, I would probably be as reclusive from relationships as I am now anyways.


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## Desolan (Nov 14, 2011)

ImminentThunder said:


> I'm not attracted to other men at all. While there are certainly people out there who are probably a mixture of both, not everyone is like that. -_- Men are gross. LOL


Yes I agree. Personally the idea of Male to Male sex disgusts me. But then again it is amazing what one can get used to with enough exposure, not that I plan to put myself through that.

btw - the reason why most men are not against lesbian sex is because the porn lets you see and check out two chicks for the price of one


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## orphansparrow (Dec 10, 2011)

i voted yes to the poll, and tend to agree that probably no one is 100% straight. 

however, i don't think i agree with the people that are saying, "if you find someone beautiful, it is proof that you are not 100% straight". i personally don't think beauty has anything to do with it. i find men and women alike beautiful at times, but that doesn't mean i have any sexual attraction towards them. (even men, and i consider myself pretty much straight. just because i find them physically attractive, doesn't have mean i want anything to do with them sexually). i also find art, and trees, animals, and all sorts of inanimate things beautiful. with no sexual attraction.


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## VanVinci (Dec 11, 2011)

Jennywocky said:


> I think that attraction is a range, not a binary, even if some people (men and women) can be so close to the endpoint(s) that they seem to be fixating on one pole of the binary.
> 
> But I've also seen women more easily fall into emotional intimacy with each other, which is a large component of long-term attraction/relationship. And for some, maybe that emotional connection can lead to physical affection/interest as well. IOW, I think it's easier for women to develop SOME kind of intimate relationship with either men or women (and it might be easier to develop it with women), whereas many men aside from sex/romantic attraction might need some coaxing from the feminine partner to become more emotionally open and intimate.
> 
> Two men typically don't develop a lot of fast emotional intimacy with each other. It usually veers into some sort of camaraderie where they go and do things together...


Hey, I know you! ~OzR

I agree completely that there are very few polar extremes. 

Something that seems, IMO, to factor into heterosexual relationship development, irrespective of actual orientation, is the attractiveness of enigma. 

Our common experience and research supports the notion that there IS a great polarization in brain functions between the sexes and this has an appeal all its own.

Of course, this item of attraction often fades to frustration when it is discovered that the enigma can never be fully unraveled.


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## MyName (Oct 23, 2009)

Azalea said:


> Alfred Kinsey did a research on people's sexual orientations:
> Kinsey scale - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
> 
> Actually, very few of them are exclusively heterosexual/homosexual.


Kinsey's studies were important/influencial just because they talked about alot of taboo issues. However, there were some serious statistical/sampling issues with his studies (for instance, he used a huge amount of inmates for his interviews, thus substantially increasing the amount of men who'd had homosexual sex in the study) and the results shouldn't really be treated as an accurate representation of the general population's sex lives. His sample demographics weren't even close to being representitive of the actual population, and he even specifically sought out people in homosexual groups, to learn specifically about them, but still included them in the overall study.


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## quadrivium (Nov 6, 2011)

chickydoda said:


> @_corgiflatmate_ I shared my views once, and got called homophic... I'm not sure how I feel about that. Then I shared that I disagreed with it, but was bisexual and someone said I was repressed and it was unhealthy, and its like, well I only want to end up with one person anyway, with monogamy and all, so how?!?
> 
> This world is a confusing place.


I'm gonna PM you so I don't derail your thread :tongue:


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## DavidPopulus (Nov 25, 2011)

chickydoda said:


> I've heard of people that *needed* a boyfriend and girlfriend at the same time. People are interested in others for sex, you could be in love with more than one person at once. I don't know how someone would manage, being in love with one person is painful enough in my opinion.
> 
> I feel sorry for bisexual people, gay people get so much support from the majority of people, but bisexual people are just seen as greedy or freaks and not taken seriously most of the time.


this is the nature of humans, tribal building, bisexuality forms no grouping so is met with mistrust.


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## Staffan (Nov 15, 2011)

DavidPopulus said:


> this is the nature of humans, tribal building, bisexuality forms no grouping so is met with mistrust.


Yes, I guess the social nomads, or whatever you call it, rank lower than outgroups. That could explain why so many gay people seem to dislike bisexuals.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

For my fellow Christians, here is why I do not see religion as a reason to behave in a homophobic manner. 
Is homosexuality a sin? » Christians & Social Issues » Sex » Sexual Sin » Greg Boyd (Christus Victor Ministries)



> [...]Second, there is absolutely no justification for the way many Christians today make homosexuality out to be worse than other types of sin. Judging from the way certain Christian leaders have publicly crusaded against homosexuality, you’d think it was the number one sin in the Bible and the most damaging sin to society. Yet, while we have at most six verses in the Bible that mention homosexuality, we have around 3,000 passages that address greed, gluttony and the need to care for the poor. Not only this, but if there are any sins American Christians are most guilty of, they’re greed, gluttony and apathy toward the poor. And if there are any sins that demonstrably kill people, it’s these ones. Yet Christians go after gays. Why? One can’t help but suspect it might be because it’s one sin they can feel self-righteous in condemning.
> 
> Third, and closely related to this, there’s no justification for the way many Christians make homosexuality a “deal breaker” sin. That is, many seem to think that it’s impossible to be a Christian and also be gay. You can be Christian and be greedy, an overeater and never sacrifice for the poor, but you can’t be gay? You can be Christian and be divorced and remarried, gossip and judge others — all mentioned in the Bible more than homosexuality — but you can’t be gay? Why?
> 
> When people get their life from their religion rather than from their relationship with Christ, they need to find some sin-group they can positively contrast themselves with. Sadly, for many Christians, this happens to be gay people.[...]


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## chickydoda (Feb 12, 2010)

@Staffan that seems hypocritical to me... someone gives a homosexual person a hard time, homosexual person cries out and gets support, comes across a bisexual person, gives them a hard time. What?!? 

@snail I addressed this in a post addressed to someone else. If homosexuality can be considered a sin it doesn't really matter how bad it is compared to other sins... because they will all send someone to the same place. Its like sending someone to prison for stealing a pencil verse sending someone for blowing up a school and giving them the same punishment... they are both bad things to do, but for some reason, they have the same end result. I guess some people argue there are different levels of hell, but still...

I agree, if Christians are going to be fair, they should go after every type of sinner... the problem is, they would end up chasing their own tails. No shortage of obese Christians (myself included), Christians that engage in prematrial sex, Christians that beat their husbands/wives etc.

And you shouldn't do any of those things anyway.


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## Esilenna (Jul 10, 2011)

I voted wrong... While I was reading I missed the "not".

Anyway, I think it's a spectrum. Men, I believe, are taught more than women that being close with the same gender is bad because when it's guys it's gay but when it's lesbians it's hot. So you see more intimate friendships between women because they're allowed to be open about expressing their affections toward each other. There may very well be any equal number of male and female bisexuals, but men are taught to suppress it. Aside from that, women in general are more romantic creatures than men. They want some kind of deep connection, and when they can't find that in men they build romantic friendships with other women.

In short, I think that same-gender sexual attraction is less common than romantic attraction, but in both cases men are expected to hide it. Sexuality is a spectrum, meaning that while you may find a person attractive, you may have no interest in pursuing them. You may have equal attraction to both. It doesn't really matter as long as you find _someone_ you like.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

chickydoda said:


> @Staffan that seems hypocritical to me... someone gives a homosexual person a hard time, homosexual person cries out and gets support, comes across a bisexual person, gives them a hard time. What?!?
> 
> @snail I addressed this in a post addressed to someone else. If homosexuality can be considered a sin it doesn't really matter how bad it is compared to other sins... because they will all send someone to the same place. Its like sending someone to prison for stealing a pencil verse sending someone for blowing up a school and giving them the same punishment... they are both bad things to do, but for some reason, they have the same end result. I guess some people argue there are different levels of hell, but still...
> 
> ...


Sorry to nitpick, but being obese isn't a sin unless it happens to be a product of intentional lifestyle choice, such as if the person got that way by being a glutton. I know in our culture, there is often an assumption that every obese person is living a bad lifestyle, but this is because of discriminatory stereotypes, not because it is true. Using "obese" to mean "gluttonous" (which I assume is what you meant) only promotes the connection between the two in people's minds, making life harder on those whose lifestyles are not to blame. 

However, having said that, I still understand your point, which was valid. I agree that there are plenty of Christians who lust, who commit acts of violence, or who take more than their share, and that God is opposed to all forms of sin. This doesn't mean we should start "going after" all of them. I have a bad habit of trying to right other people's wrongs, trying to make them change, but if I were living as God wanted, I would be focusing on changing my own life first, and becoming more forgiving toward those who live destructively. 

I do not believe that sinful actions condemn Christians to Hell, for two reasons.

1. We are saved by grace, for our faith, not by our works. A person whose faith is sincere will be inclined to express it by eliminating sinful habits from his/her life, but it is my understanding that even if a person tries to do so and finds it impossible, if that person loves God wholeheartedly and trusts Christ to save him/her, then that person is saved, not for how hard s/he tried, but for having faith.

2. According to the bible, the penalty for sin is death, not eternal life in an unpleasant place. 

For more information about why I don't believe in a literal Hell, see this, which is written by the same pastor who wrote the other essay.
The Case for Annihilationism » Judgement » Greg Boyd (Christus Victor Ministries)


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## chickydoda (Feb 12, 2010)

@snail, yes, I was talking about Obesity as a result of overindulgence rather than health issues. And I was talking about non Christians going to hell, although I'm pretty sure they don't like being told that, lol.


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## AussieChick (Dec 27, 2010)

MyName said:


> There's no way you can possibly know. Sure, alot of people have theories about attractions lying dormant in everyone, but if they never manifest themselves how can anyone say that they know that they're there in almost everyone? I didn't vote.


I voted no,as I do agree with the above quote in every way.I am bisexual ,but it took many years for me to arrive at this conclusion.I was in denial and figure that if I had of acted on my feelings for women when I was 14 and in High School,I may very well be a lesbian now.I was 23 before I had sex, and although I had come close to it before it was always with a man and considered myself to be straight once I had become sexually active.But I had fooled around with girls when I was a lot younger and always found myself checking them out whilst out and about.I had lesbian/bi friends but they weren't attracted to me,so I never pursued anything.It was when my marriage was disintegrating that I began to think about having sexual relations with women again.That I was indeed bisexual and not just curious.I had been separated from my husband for 9 years and never slept with anyone else.Then I started dating again and although they were males I wanted to be with a woman.I started talking to friends on Per C who were lesbian/bi and they encouraged me to pursue what I had always thought about.I have a male partner now who I love very much.He is very supportive and encouraging of my wish to have a girlfriend.He will always come first no matter what,if I had to make a choice between him and my girlfriend it would be hard but I would choose him. 



chickydoda said:


> I've heard of people that *needed* a boyfriend and girlfriend at the same time. People are interested in others for sex, you could be in love with more than one person at once. I don't know how someone would manage, being in love with one person is painful enough in my opinion.
> 
> 
> 
> I feel sorry for bisexual people, gay people get so much support from the majority of people, but bisexual people are just seen as greedy or freaks and not taken seriously most of the time.


 I do need both,I guess I am greedy, and want my cake and to eat it too.But I am highly sexual and don't want another man to satisfy me.My partner is extremely busy and we rarely see each other as we live approximately 50 kms (100 miles) from each other.I do need the company of a woman to satisfy my cravings for sex when my partner is unavailable.

So true,most lesbian women can't stand those women who are bisexual.And I have found it hard to find someone who understands and wants the same.Women can be players too,and there are a lot of males who pretend to be female and like to string someone along for the thrill of it.I go to chat with them on a dating site and I find that they have deleted me from their contacts.Some of these have even called me on the telephone and done the same thing.Then when I send them sexy pics when I feel it is the appropriate time,I find I get deleted then too.

I am also Christian and I have struggled with my inner demons re being bisexual.I haven't stepped foot in my church in almost a year.My daughter who is also Christian can't see why I want to be with women in this way.She is an adult although only just turned 18,and she can't come to terms with my bisexuality.I have been honest with my children,I don't want to hide things from them like their father did from me.One of my sons recently mentioned my friends with benefits to my mother,and she questioned me.I told her that I was bisexual and she didn't fathom why I was this way when I had a male partner.I told her that I had always liked women and If had the "guts" to act on these feelings as a young woman would probably be a lesbian now.Well she didn't say another word to me about that.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

I think we all have some attraction to both our own and to the other sex, and usually one or the other is predominant in a person's sexuality. However, you also have to consider gender identity, which does not always fit with the biological sex of an individual.


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## MCRTS (Jul 4, 2011)

I believe that most people aren't 100% straight or gay.


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## Portal (Jan 3, 2012)

There have been psychological studies/experiments for this question and most come up as "bi" or in the middle of the scale. Only about a 6%-7% total report for either being exclusively homosexual or straight. Correct me if I'm wrong and you can look more into this starting with Kinsey scale. 

Personally I think we can be attracted to either sex. It's the social norms that dictate our decision in choosing a partner. If you are raised in a society where gays were viewed as less favorable, chances are when you have feelings for a same sex person you would call that a sibling love or a best friend love. The opposite can hold true as well.


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## RRRoooaaaRRR (Jun 18, 2011)

I am a total non-conformist and think for myself. A good percentage of people on this thread state categorically that no-one is 100% homosexual or hetrosexual. Well that must mean I`m not a people then. I am unequivocably 100% hetrosexual. No interest in females sexually at all - not a flicker. Nothing to do with social conditioning, nothing to do with personal opinions, nothing to do with any belief system. Purely this: I don`t fancy women.


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## Elyasis (Jan 4, 2012)

I find it unlikely that most people would be straight or gay or completely 50/50 bisexual. It's more than likely on a scale. Not to preclude the possibility of 100% preference for a particular sex but to include a greater range of sexual expression.

However, I'm not sure I'd want anyone meddling in my affairs to see the exact percentage I display.


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## RainyAutumnTwilight (Sep 28, 2012)

I can only speak for myself, but I am 100% straight. There are other women who I've thought are gorgeous but always connected to the idea that I looked like that guys would totally be into me.


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## Preciselyd (Mar 18, 2018)

I voted No.

I think there are people who are 100% straight, 100% gay, 100% pansexual to name a few and the percentage may alter or be even in regards to whether a person who identifies as bisexual prefers men more than women or women more than men. There may be some people who don't identify as any sexuality but are more attracted to one gender than the other or like the possibility of both etc.


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## Jaune (Jul 11, 2013)

I think it is a scale, and I voted yes in the poll.


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## Librarylady (Mar 11, 2017)

There are way more people who have a fluid sexuality than society likes to assume, but there are definitely 100% straight and 100% gay people too.


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## LindsyClarke80s (Mar 30, 2018)

I voted No. 

There are different variants of percentage but there are some that are 100% straight and 100% gay.


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