# INTP vs INTJ expressing feelings



## ScarlettHayden (Jun 8, 2012)

Who do you think is naturally better (or worse) at expressing feelings? INTJ's have a more developed feeling function yet it's introverted whilst INTP's have an extraverted feeling function but it's less developed. So when it comes to expressing feelings honestly and openly do both just share the same level of retardation or what?


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## Tzara (Dec 21, 2013)

As far as I've observed, INTPs are better at sharing hate while INTJs are better at sharing love.

But both are equally retarded at overall feeling sharing. :tongue:


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## TuesdaysChild (Jan 11, 2014)

Hmmm.... Ne has a youthful charm to it, which probably makes INTPs _seem_ naturally warmer. They are an irresistibly cheeky bunch, though roud:










While INTJs might make more of an effort, but it ends up coming out like...


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## intjonn (Apr 20, 2013)

OK........... thats as far as I'm gunna go re 'feeling'.



*<<<<============take it frum a koon!*

reading this thread made me feel nauseous..........I'll keep the feeling to myself but will be glad to share the anti-peristalsis with you.
just sayin......jonny luzsha


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## SamTheMediocre (Mar 7, 2013)

INTP's are really bad at explaining their feelings (I'm a prime example.) That said, we are really easy to read as we get noticeably uncomfortable and fidgety when we feel overly emotional or anxious. INTJ's are good at explaining their emotions, but they also have to go through the steps of how they got to feeling that way. Until they've developed that mental pathway, it's hard to really tell. So, INTP's are more obvious, but less specific. INTJ's are really internal about it, but they know exactly how they feel. Did this make any sense?


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

In the heat of an emotional confrontation it's misery, in the case that I do get excited, it's very pure and powerful. Most of the time I don't feel a thing. Or do I? I usually ascribe my emotional state as neutral. Then I accused of bottling up feelings when I don't view certain things as poorly as other people do. My feelings are "in the moment" I don't "hold onto" feelings. They come and go of course with the particular thoughts that may cause them. So it's not like they don't exist, they just don't visit often unless they are powerful and almost frightening. Another thing is when I hear "how did it go?" In reference to a therapy session for example, I don't say how I felt, I just say what happened.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

SamTheMediocre said:


> INTP's are really bad at explaining their feelings (I'm a prime example.) That said, we are really easy to read as we get noticeably uncomfortable and fidgety when we feel overly emotional or anxious. INTJ's are good at explaining their emotions, but they also have to go through the steps of how they got to feeling that way. Until they've developed that mental pathway, it's hard to really tell. So, INTP's are more obvious, but less specific. INTJ's are really internal about it, but they know exactly how they feel. Did this make any sense?


Yeah and when an INTJ expresses emotion they tend to still just sound like they're discussing information, at which point no one's really convinced it's a strong emotion  

Interestingly a friend of mine told me I'm more open about my emotions than an INFJ she was dating who seemed "secretive".. not sure what that was about.


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## ScarlettHayden (Jun 8, 2012)

ninjahitsawall said:


> Yeah and when an INTJ expresses emotion they tend to still just sound like they're discussing information, at which point no one's really convinced it's a strong emotion


Ahahah.. maybe it really isn't, I have no idea (<---- prime example).



> Interestingly a friend of mine told me I'm more open about my emotions than an INFJ she was dating who seemed "secretive".. not sure what that was about.


An unhealthy INFJ could be in an Ni-Ti loop which doesn't really leave room for Fe expression.


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## TuesdaysChild (Jan 11, 2014)

ninjahitsawall said:


> Yeah and when an INTJ expresses emotion they tend to still just sound like they're discussing information, at which point no one's really convinced it's a strong emotion


You know, that's very true. I find with INTJs as well as ISTJs, they explain their emotions the same way a scientist would explain how a mass spectrometer works on some archaeological documentary on the History Channel. It seems very matter-of-fact and mechanical.

Not saying I have a solution for you.... just agreeing with you


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## yazisback (Aug 2, 2014)

i hate expressing feelings because it makes me weak. (intj)


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

AlliG said:


> You know, that's very true. I find with INTJs as well as ISTJs, they explain their emotions the same way a scientist would explain how a mass spectrometer works on some archaeological documentary on the History Channel. It seems very matter-of-fact and mechanical.
> 
> Not saying I have a solution for you.... just agreeing with you


Gotta be the Fi-Te combo. It seems like the options are to discuss emotion and be seen as not having real ones, or to not discuss them and they become overwhelming and have negative psychological consequences. So I try to stick with the first option even though it's somewhat irritating how superficial Fi appears on the surface. I've heard Fi in an INTJ being compared to having a few different laser beams in a box (lasers being a more focused and intense form of light), and having to selectively choose when the box gets opened and which laser you're currently 'using'


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## lightbox (Mar 5, 2014)

ninjahitsawall said:


> Yeah and when an INTJ expresses emotion they tend to still just sound like they're discussing information, at which point no one's really convinced it's a strong emotion


I'm like this, too. I can explain my emotions, but express... not really. If I'm feeling extremely emotional, I tend to shut down and only show some general not very obvious signs of distress. I'd rather not share that with anyone, at least while I'm experiencing the emotion. Once I'm back to normal I _might_ want to discuss about it with a few selected friends, but more often I'll keep it to myself.


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## InsanityAware (Jun 21, 2014)

yazisback said:


> i hate expressing feelings because it makes me weak. (intj)


Why would make you weak? Sometimes i express my feelings, sometimes i just do it so people stop calling me a "Ice Cube".


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## Lady x (Jun 14, 2014)

I hate expressing feelings per se but my friends I guess can experience a sense of warmth after spending time with me.
Though I don't want speak ill of anyone I have a terrible time trying to connect with an INTP friend of mine; Also as someone said above,they seems to harbor a lot of negative emotions against the society.


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## HAL (May 10, 2014)

My bad feelings are never shared until they're gone. For example, I'll say, "Yeah last week when XXX happened it was the worst thing ever, I bawled my eyes out in a corner for ages." Then everyone would be like, "Hah, whaaaaat, seriously?!"

I feel way better about sharing my feelings when I'm not actually feeling them, if that makes sense.

My old INTJ flatmate never shared anything, ever. He'd sometimes tell us things that showed what was in his heart, but he never did it 'with emotion'. Oh apart from the time I deleted five years' worth of memories from his external hard drive. Then he solemnly went out of the flat, for a long walk.


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## ScarlettHayden (Jun 8, 2012)

HAL said:


> My bad feelings are never shared until they're gone. For example, I'll say, "Yeah last week when XXX happened it was the worst thing ever, I bawled my eyes out in a corner for ages." Then everyone would be like, "Hah, whaaaaat, seriously?!"
> 
> I feel way better about sharing my feelings when I'm not actually feeling them, if that makes sense.


Actually I think this is something both INTP's and INTJ's share. I've noticed this with other INTP friends and also I tend to do this myself with close family.. and I think the feelers get pretty confused about it because they couldn't really ever imagine me having such an emotional breakdown.. lol. I just talk about it as if it's another boring thing on the news. So yeah, it makes perfect sense.



> My old INTJ flatmate never shared anything, ever. He'd sometimes tell us things that showed what was in his heart, but he never did it 'with emotion'. Oh apart from the time I deleted five years' worth of memories from his external hard drive. Then he solemnly went out of the flat, for a long walk.


This on the other hand. Maybe it's just because I've integrated my Se and allow it expression.. but if someone did that to me I would probably lose my temper.. And THEN go for a walk


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## Truth Advocate (Apr 14, 2014)

SamTheMediocre said:


> INTP's are really bad at explaining their feelings (I'm a prime example.) That said, we are really easy to read as we get noticeably uncomfortable and fidgety when we feel overly emotional or anxious. INTJ's are good at explaining their emotions, but they also have to go through the steps of how they got to feeling that way. Until they've developed that mental pathway, it's hard to really tell. So, INTP's are more obvious, but less specific. INTJ's are really internal about it, but they know exactly how they feel. Did this make any sense?


I would disagree with you on the INTJ part. I have _great_ difficulty even knowing _what_ my feelings are, much less explaining them. 
I also am very private about what I feel, partly because I don't like showing weakness and expressing that which is personal (Enneagram type eight) and partly because it really has no relevance to anything, and would be fruitless if I expressed my feelings. _"Feelings are irrelevant."_


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## Xenograft (Jul 1, 2013)

If we're speaking about how the feeling functions express emotions physically in either type, then both are going to behave differently. INTJs have tertiary Fi, which yields them some control over their outward expression of emotion. INTJs, just like ISTJs, tend to be placid faced because they do not allow themselves to show their expressions, or they make faces that mimic what they think emotions are supposed to look like. Thus what they express outwardly does not always reflect what they feel inwardly. This makes many IxTJs seem very cold and empty, when in fact they still feel as much as any other human. It is more about a focus, less about experiencing them. Tertiary Fi gives a strong sense of ego without the awareness of exact emotion that stronger Fi in a stack allows, so they know their preferences better on an emotional scale, and emotionally attach to their preferences (typically their Ni constructed models and systems). INTPs are very different, they have inferior Fe.

Any inferior feeling function is going to be uncontrolled and loose, inferior Fi is very expressive, Te doms tend to have very emotive faces, as do INTPs. Inferior Fe means that the INTP is not very self aware of its own emotions at any given time, but naturally expresses them physically in a group environment, or with other humans. It might not even be conscious, I have known INTPs to be very visually and vocally expressive but not really be aware of what they are feeling. It is more likely for an INTP to be physically emotive than an INTJ, considering that they mirror others emotions and are probably better at making them match up to what they are feeling, although it is unconscious. 

In terms of vocalising emotions, INTJs are going to be more reluctant I imagine, and INTPs are probably going to be more confused. This will definitely vary from person to person, as some are more comfortable with emotions than others.


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## LetsHarmonize (May 29, 2014)

Xenograft said:


> Any inferior feeling function is going to be uncontrolled and loose, inferior Fi is very expressive, Te doms tend to have very emotive faces, as do INTPs. Inferior Fe means that the INTP is not very self aware of its own emotions at any given time, but naturally expresses them physically in a group environment, or with other humans. It might not even be conscious, I have known INTPs to be very visually and vocally expressive but not really be aware of what they are feeling. It is more likely for an INTP to be physically emotive than an INTJ, considering that they mirror others emotions and are probably better at making them match up to what they are feeling, although it is unconscious.
> 
> In terms of vocalising emotions, INTJs are going to be more reluctant I imagine, and INTPs are probably going to be more confused. This will definitely vary from person to person, as some are more comfortable with emotions than others.


INTP here. Pretty spot-on for me except it's extremely rare for me to express emotions verbally (pretty sure I'd be aware of this), and I'm not too sure about expressing them physically either. My verbal/physical expressions of emotion tend to be either a copy of or a response to the emotions of others (whether I'm feeling those emotions or not, I think). Although, I'm probably totally unconscious of what I'm feeling which means you're right.


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## Strelok (Aug 16, 2013)

yazisback said:


> i hate expressing feelings because it makes me weak. (intj)


_The Confused Ideas of a Te User_



Lady x said:


> Though I don't want speak ill of anyone I have a terrible time trying to connect with an INTP friend of mine; Also as someone said above,they seems to harbor a lot of negative emotions against the society.


You don't?

I think that the J/P is at least as important as the S/N. I feel like I have much more in common with ISTPs than with NTJs, and as much in common with NTJs as I do with STJs.


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