# Advice on an INTP's attraction to an INTJ



## intheflesh (May 19, 2013)

I had a question for INTJs. At my previous job, I developed a strong liking to a (VERY probable) INTJ. As an INTP, and working in different departments outside of approximately one to two hours per shift, we rarely talked or even had an opportunity to. Everyone else thought she was pretty much cold and possibly a bitch, but I accepted those as personality traits as she was someone I respected as our most efficient veterinarian and actually got shit done. 
However, due to her being the staff kitten veterinarian and in a high-paced job at the SPCA, I'd rarely get to interact with her. I was extremely surprised that she initiated conversation and acknowledged me when she had a few minutes to spare, but those were few and far between. I think she enjoyed my sarcasm from afar (she laughed at me making sarcastic/dry remarks from across the room, and approached me a few times to share short, though honest, opinions).
My question is: is there any frickin' way to get closer to an INTJ, with myself being an INTP, when the environment (work) seems to make it damn near impossible? I'm shy as hell to begin with, but I actually received compliments on work from her.
To complicate matters, I like women, and I know through colleagues she does as well. Obviously, we're both women. 
Any ideas or honesty is appreciated. I'd have liked to even befriend her but I definitely wasn't comfortable making the initiative.


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## DiamondDays (Sep 4, 2012)

You need to approach her.


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## this is my username (Apr 15, 2011)

send her stuff from a secret admirer.


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## intheflesh (May 19, 2013)

I like the "secret admirer" theory; however, as I now reside across the US and have practically zero possibility of seeing her until I visit the city where I am from again, would seem weird as heck. And I wasn't sure if even having a "secret admirer" would be creepy to an INTJ. I thought it may, or possibly send their mind into over-analysis when they'd rather be applying logic to things that are more concrete and be dismissive.

I suppose I'd like to know from INTJs, since this is a dead end for me pretty much, if there's a way to avoid this kind of complication in the future (should it arise) when both are equally dismissive of initiating any sort of bond despite what they (somewhat) 'feel'.

Is an INTP/INTJ relationship doomed from the start, especially with both being strong introverts?


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## Persephone (Nov 14, 2009)

intheflesh said:


> Is an INTP/INTJ relationship doomed from the start, especially with both being strong introverts?


My was at any rate. It all stemmed from the INTP refusing to open up emotionally. After a while there just ceased to be a point.


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## intheflesh (May 19, 2013)

I can understand that. I've developed my Fe a bit, and also have a developed artistic side in conjunction with my crazy rational brain... Do you feel it would possibly have worked with a more balanced INTP?
I can open up; it's the initial interaction that I'm inept at.


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## nezumify (Feb 7, 2013)

intheflesh said:


> Is an INTP/INTJ relationship doomed from the start, especially with both being strong introverts?


I'm with an INTJ and have been for 7 months. We've been friends for almost two years. I don't think they are doomed, but it does take both parties to be willing to step out of their own mental world more than is comfortable.


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