# Ladies, how would you react if....



## November Rose (Jan 16, 2017)

*So how would you react if your husband suddenly told you he didn't want you working, that he wanted you to only focus on him and your home???*


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## November Rose (Jan 16, 2017)

*I'd tell him I really don't want to leave my job and ask him why he wanted me to quit all the sudden.*


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## Glenda Gnome Starr (May 12, 2011)

I'd ask him if he was sure that was a good idea because redecorating the house will cost lots of money. Also, once I'm focusing on my (sigh, imaginary) husband, I would have to serve him only the most expensive foods. Hence, he would agree that I should continue working just so I don't have enough time to bust the budget, lol.


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## Santa Gloss (Feb 23, 2015)

If I were married, I'd rather my husband stay at home and take care of the kids. He can focus on our combined needs and maintain our home. I'll earn the money and manage the investments (big picture stuff) while he can make sure the monthly bills are paid (details). When the kids are old enough, he can work part time or freelance. Or we can co-own a business. I'll set the direction and he can take care of the implementation. 

These discussions need to happen well before you're engaged. If someone sprung something like this on me after marriage, I'd be very baffled.


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## CrystallineSheep (Jul 8, 2012)

I would say it isn't his decision or call to make and it isn't his business whether I am working, studying or staying at home. Unless that he has a really good reason to request it which I very much doubt.


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## JennyJukes (Jun 29, 2012)

would tell him nah my life my choice. fair enough if he thought it'd be go good for my health, our children, cost effective etc - and even then I wouldn't like it he *told* me what I should be doing, but not if he told me to be only a housewife. no one TELLS me what to do, but they can ask lol.


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## desert lynx (Apr 11, 2012)

Santa Gloss said:


> If I were married, I'd rather my husband stay at home and take care of the kids. He can focus on our combined needs and maintain our home. I'll earn the money and manage the investments (big picture stuff) while he can make sure the monthly bills are paid (details). When the kids are old enough, he can work part time or freelance. Or we can co-own a business. I'll set the direction and he can take care of the implementation.
> 
> These discussions need to happen well before you're engaged. If someone sprung something like this on me after marriage, I'd be very baffled.


Why would he need to stay at home for this stuff? I'm single, and handle everything myself except the kids part (which admittedly is a lot of work and generally isn't a very fair burden to place on only one parent). Usually there's a lot more work to be done in the details than the direction part. Though bills are easy these days...online pay, just gotta glance through and make sure there's no mistakes.

Edit: I guess I'll also add that I'm looking for someone that wants to share in both sides. I was a nervous wreck when I bought my first home--would have been really nice to have someone by my side to say "yeah, I agree with this decision, it isn't a mistake". But now I still haven't really done much decorating as that's just not something I'm good at--i could use some help!


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## Tsubaki (Apr 14, 2015)

I am pretty sure that I would never get into a relationship with someone who doesn't support my ambitions and is not at least as focused on success as I am. If I really got into a situation like that, I guess, I would sit down with him, look him in the eyes and make clear once and for all that I live for myself and what I want in life and that that was the premise for a relationship with me. 

My golden rule in life is to not do something for anybody else that goes severely against what I personally want. You could call it egocentric, but I think that you need a certain level of egoism to not end up dissatisfied or completely off your path.


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## Santa Gloss (Feb 23, 2015)

desert lynx said:


> Why would he need to stay at home for this stuff? I'm single, and handle everything myself except the kids part (which admittedly is a lot of work and generally isn't a very fair burden to place on only one parent). Usually there's a lot more work to be done in the details than the direction part. Though bills are easy these days...online pay, just gotta glance through and make sure there's no mistakes.
> 
> Edit: I guess I'll also add that I'm looking for someone that wants to share in both sides. I was a nervous wreck when I bought my first home--would have been really nice to have someone by my side to say "yeah, I agree with this decision, it isn't a mistake". But now I still haven't really done much decorating as that's just not something I'm good at--i could use some help!


Why? 

Because being single and managing everything on your own is significantly different from a marriage with two kids, two pets, five complex investments and two houses.
Because babies and toddlers thrive better when they stay at home with a parent instead of being in a daycare from 8am to 6pm. I don't see why it has to be mom as default. I think stay-at-home dads are adorable.
Because I'd like my kids to be homeschooled and I will marry someone who wants that too. I doubt we can homeschool if we're both working.
Because I intend to be wealthy and it doesn't make sense for both of us to run around exhausted because we work long hours. I will inevitably have to work a lot. I don't plan on cleaning up my toilet as well. I intend to have household staff. I highly doubt my future husband is going to be that stressed by taking care of the house. He just has to manage the staff and ensure that everything gets done.
Because it's what I want. If he doesn't want that, he _doesn't _need to marry me. My personal preferences are mutually beneficial for the right person. They're not supposed to appeal to all men. Your needs =/= my needs. your marriage =/= my marriage. There's no _right _or _wrong _system. What's right is what _works _for you. That's literally all that matters.
Because the popular perception of exact equality isn't necessarily what everyone considers a good deal.
Because marriage is a custom-made agreement. There's no uniform system.


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## PennyLane4 (Dec 14, 2016)

Being married and a stay-at-home mom, I'm biased. However, knowing who my husband is, I know he has the best intentions and would only say something like this if he thought it were the best option for us as a family. I also know that he would never demand anything like this, and it would be open for intense discussion. 

I think it's important in marriage to remember that you're both individuals who may have differing viewpoints on big issues, and that's perfectly ok. Respecting each other's opinions and being able to reach a compromise is key.


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## desert lynx (Apr 11, 2012)

Santa Gloss said:


> Why?
> 
> Because being single and managing everything on your own is significantly different from a marriage with two kids, two pets, five complex investments and two houses




Ok, sounds like you're in a different world financially than I ever hope to be. I've just got enough to be comfortable and happy--house with a yard and a dog, haha.

I do have the opportunity in my career to go work remote corners of the world for lots of money to send back home. But is that really worth being away from everyone you love? :dry:


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## Santa Gloss (Feb 23, 2015)

desert lynx said:


> I do have the opportunity in my career to go work remote corners of the world for lots of money to send back home.


That sounds like a lot of fun :smile: Is it one of those jobs where you can take someone with you or are you required to travel without an entourage?


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## desert lynx (Apr 11, 2012)

Santa Gloss said:


> That sounds like a lot of fun :smile: Is it one of those jobs where you can take someone with you or are you required to travel without an entourage?


Sometimes. Depends a lot on length of assignment and where. I've been to the Middle East--there's a lot of restrictions on what women can and cannot do in some of those countries compared to the western world. Laws and customs are pretty different. I don't really see myself wanting to live there long term, and it would be quite a sacrifice by a wife and kids to move there--not something I would ask of a woman I loved.

It definitely is worthwhile to do some world traveling if you get a chance. You gain better understanding and empathy of other people beyond what the media portrays. Customs, food, dress, etc. may be very different but people aren't so different regardless of where they're from and what they look like.


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## Warp11 (Jul 13, 2016)

Not going to happen, because that would mean he'd actually have to get a job himself.


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## desert lynx (Apr 11, 2012)

Santa Gloss said:


> Because I'd like my kids to be homeschooled and I will marry someone who wants that too. I doubt we can homeschool if we're both working.


May I ask one more question, this time about homeschooling? I don't have much experience with it outside of meeting a few people in college who said they were. They definitely turned out okay.

I'm curious why you're interested in this? I think I would have missed out on a lot if I had been homeschooled--playing sports, playing in a band, school clubs, all the social interactions with other students, school dances (even though they were pretty cheesy, haha), just countless school-sponsored activities through the year. Granted, I lived in a good school district with bright students, mostly good teachers, etc. There are certainly areas where that may not be available or like in my region it is only available at expensive private schools. And it certainly wasn't rainbows and roses every day, either.

Were you homeschooled? Would you consider giving your child a voice in the decision (I know that gets tough as they don't have as much experience to make an informed decision)?


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## irulee (Jun 25, 2012)

That sounds like something an abuser would say, that's how it starts. Isolation, then manipulation, then the actual abuse (in any and every form). So, to answer your question (since my answer is not an option listed): Ask for his reason. If his intentions seem iffy, I'd find a reason to stay away from him, for as long as possible, confide to someone I can trust, having them keep in frequent contact, then eventually, if it comes down to it, file for a divorce. No way in hell am I gonna go through (what could be) that shit.


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## Mange (Jan 9, 2011)

I'd file for divorce because why the fuck do I suddenly have a husband?


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## Peppermint Mocha (Jun 19, 2011)

I'd love it BUT I'd discuss it with him to be sure he understands the financial and emotional impact
Last thing I'd want is fights about money or either of us feeling "trapped" in the marriage

NB: I will add he has to ASK not DEMAND. Any demands made on me will immediately turn confrontational. I believe in freedom of choice


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## Santa Gloss (Feb 23, 2015)

*Homeschooling.*

I'll spoiler this because I'm going off OP's topic and I tend to write a lot. But I want to answer your question, desert lynx. 


* *








desert lynx said:


> May I ask one more question, this time about homeschooling? I don't have much experience with it outside of meeting a few people in college who said they were. They definitely turned out okay.
> 
> I'm curious why you're interested in this? I think I would have missed out on a lot if I had been homeschooled--playing sports, playing in a band, school clubs, all the social interactions with other students, school dances (even though they were pretty cheesy, haha), just countless school-sponsored activities through the year. Granted, I lived in a good school district with bright students, mostly good teachers, etc. There are certainly areas where that may not be available or like in my region it is only available at expensive private schools. And it certainly wasn't rainbows and roses every day, either.
> 
> Were you homeschooled? Would you consider giving your child a voice in the decision (I know that gets tough as they don't have as much experience to make an informed decision)?


I'm glad you had a good school experience. I wasn't homeschooled. Of course, I'd give my kids options and let them choose :smile: Decision-making is a vital skill and one I want them to use often during their childhood (with parental guidance and parental veto).

The way I see it, education is supposed to help kids grow. But -

In schools, kids are supposed to accommodate the system's teaching style, irrespective of whether it works for them. Minor changes are made for the kids.
In homeschooling, the system is supposed to accommodate the kids' learning style because it is supposed to work for them. Minor external systems are followed.
Now despite that, I'm sure flaws in homeschooling are present (there's always a trade-off and there are always other errors). But the underlying process appeals to me more. 

I'll try to cover a few things you mentioned and a few reasons I'm interested in this:

Socialization: There are a few sources of friendships for my unborn kids. 


Neighborhood kids and local playgrounds.
Group classes and teams (paid activities)
My/spouse's friends' kids.
Local homeschool groups.

Daily efficiency: Daily school sessions are usually 2x as long as homeschooling sessions. Everything is covered quickly in homeschooling because time isn't spent on attendance, dealing with class management, etc. 

Freedom and choice in content studied: My hope is that parents _and _kids will set the direction that the kids will pursue. Examples: 


If a 2nd grader wants to study dinosaurs, we'll add age appropriate level of paleontology to the curriculum.
If my kid eagerly wants to study aircrafts, cooking or writing stories, great. Do it during school time.
If a 10th grader really wants to learn some intricate complex thing that's not part of local school curriculum or activities, I want them to pursue it during school hours along with their other coursework. I don't want school to say, "well you can do it in your spare time because we lack those skills. Right now, 8 hours/day of your time belongs to us. And don't forget 1.5 hour of homework! If you have no energy left at the end for your advanced interests, too bad kid. This is the system!"
There won't be major restrictions as long as it's feasible and a healthy way to grow. 

Of course, core subjects won't be optional (like math, science, reading, writing). I don't think the government (or I) will allow that.

Kids' level of control: Since the kids will choose course content based on their ongoing interests, they will be eager to learn. They'll learn to make choices that benefit their long-term needs. They can turn down tools and resources that are incompatible with their learning style (which you can't in school).

Sports and other physical skills: there are outlets outside traditional schooling to pursue this. Even if they decide to be homeschooled throughout middle school and high school, there are other teams that cater to various skill levels ranging from elite athletes to recreational level. (I have it bookmarked somewhere). Also, some local schools will allow kids to be part of their sports teams, but they have a few conditions I don't remember right now. 

I'm sure I skipped something you mentioned... but do you really want to read more? :crazy:


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## Marshy (Apr 10, 2016)

JennyJukes said:


> *would tell him nah my life my choice*. fair enough if he thought it'd be go good for my health, our children, cost effective etc - and even then I wouldn't like it he *told* me what I should be doing, but not if he told me to be only a housewife. no one TELLS me what to do, but they can ask lol.


Incorrect. A woman is bound by man. REALIZE THIS!!!!
...pls;_;


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## Dogeater (Jan 28, 2017)

November Rose said:


> *So how would you react if your husband suddenly told you he didn't want you working, that he wanted you to only focus on him and your home???*


Since I am the major breadwinner, I'd tell him to get real, or put the house up for sale. But, if by some weird twist of fate, he did start suddenly earning more and was serious...then I would tell him no, I like what I do and it is important for me to have a career and keep my mind active. When I was younger, I tried staying home and would get into trouble doing all sorts of things, or else get really bored. I cannot take care of a home. It is too routine for me. I would be happier tearing it apart and remodeling it, but I can't maintain it. I guess if he made an obscene amount of money, I could figure out how to keep myself entertained and productive in the world vacationing and shopping, supervising the maids. All that money would be such a burden!


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## OP (Oct 22, 2016)

I'm not in a relationship, but if I ever ended up in one, I'd make sure we were both clear that I wouldn't become a stay-at-home wife. If my hypothetical husband changed his mind because we both had enough money, I'd tell him that it most likely wasn't happening because I didn't suffer through years of school just to become financially dependent on someone else! If we both worked, we'd both be contributing to the household income. If I earned enough money for both of us, he could quit his job if he wanted to. I wouldn't be comfortable with the knowledge that I wouldn't already have a stable source of income in case we divorced or he died suddenly (there's a family history of divorces and I really want to break the cycle, possibly by never marrying). Obviously, this reason would probably hurt his feelings and make him question my love for him (and I'm already not the super romantic type – maybe I'm better off marrying another unromantic guy) so I'd only mention the thing about suffering through school.


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## Acrylic (Dec 14, 2015)

I love how 1 and 3 are pretty much the same reaction lol. I know someone had a certain reaction, and then came to PerC to see if she was right or if others would find it not a big deal :tongues:

Well, good news... in the Qu'ran and Hadith, Muhammad (peace be upon him) is shown as, not just suggesting, but downright ordering women to not work, be an individual, or even be equal to men... but to just focus on the husband and your home. That's what Muhammad's (peace be upon him) 2 thousand wives did. Of course so many people can't ft in one home, so Muhammad (peace be upon him) had multiple homes, a summer home, a winter home, a vacation home, etc.

So if you want to be on god's good side, you'd do that.


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## Mad Philosopher (Dec 14, 2015)

Santa Gloss said:


> I'll spoiler this because I'm going off OP's topic and I tend to write a lot. But I want to answer your question, desert lynx.
> 
> 
> * *
> ...


Interesting points, I would consider homeschooling if I ever had kids. Yeah I hate how the current system is, unless its changed for the better it seems like homeschooling is a better choice.


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## Glitter Polska (Feb 5, 2017)

That is one of those issues you should discuss before marriage, not after. I don't care for mindless careerism anyway, and if it gave me more time to research things, maybe write, then I wouldn't mind. I could achieve things to my satisfaction in other ways. There is no Enneagram 3 or 8 in my tritype. I just wouldn't like the sudden change of heart without any logical discussion. If you had a few children it would make sense. Income would be the major factor. Could you afford it? Many or even most families today need both spouses working in this economy.


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## outofplace (Dec 19, 2012)

It depends on if I'm happy with my job or not.


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## atamagasuita (May 15, 2016)

Okay. But sure hubby. I love you.. *goes outside* *hire maid*


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## OHtheNovelty (Aug 14, 2016)

I would GLADLY be a stay at home mother if it means I don't have to work. Of course, my husband is going to have to realize that I won't be exceptionally good at it and that he'll have to deal with it because he's the one who asked me to be one lolol.


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## ponpiri (Apr 30, 2017)

My immediate reaction would be hell no. My secondary would be to ask him why he thinks it's a good idea. My third would be another no, never going to happen. He can stay home if he wants, but even then I would feel great dissatisfaction.

It would really piss me off that he would attempt to flip the script after the wedding.


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## tinyheart (Jun 17, 2016)

November Rose said:


> *So how would you react if your husband suddenly told you he didn't want you working, that he wanted you to only focus on him and your home???*


"Bruh, do we look rich to you?"


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## Meliodas (Nov 16, 2016)

LOLOL at the responses herein. Honestly, without a little objectivity, one might led into believing that SAHMs are more repulsive than AIDS.

Well I've made a mental note never to marry any of you girls, because you're crazy! :laughing:


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## Introvertia (Feb 6, 2016)

If he was married to me, he'd know it's not going to happen with me. 

Working is crucial for my own mental health and I'm not willing to sacrifice it for another person, to stay at home. If he couldn't accept the fact I won't be willing to compromise this area of my life: time to move on.


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## OP (Oct 22, 2016)

Inside Job said:


> LOLOL at the responses herein. Honestly, without a little objectivity, one might led into believing that SAHMs are more repulsive than AIDS.
> 
> Well I've made a mental note never to marry any of you girls, because you're crazy! :laughing:


That's why you have these kinds of discussions before you get married. If she's not crazy about the idea of staying at home and not working, you'd want to reconsider your long-term plans with her.


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## daleks_exterminate (Jul 22, 2013)

It honestly depends on why. And how much he wants our child raised as an assassin to be hired on the deep web... I mean, I might get bored, you know? :wink:


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## Meliodas (Nov 16, 2016)

daleks_exterminate said:


> It honestly depends on why. And how much he wants our child raised as an assassin to be hired on the deep web... I mean, I might get bored, you know? :wink:


Ah, boredom. Boredom is hard. But I feel like, the answer to your problems is not to turn your child into something he is not, but to accept him. Learn from your mistakes, and you will feel better. Do you see? It isn't that difficult. You are already feeling better; I can tell. So what are you going to do?


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## g_w (Apr 16, 2013)

Inside Job said:


> LOLOL at the responses herein. Honestly, without a little objectivity, one might led into believing that SAHMs are more repulsive than AIDS.
> 
> Well I've made a mental note never to marry any of you girls, because you're crazy! :laughing:


To help you with the stock response ("What? It is _(insert current year here)_, not the 1950s!")...
you must first understand that psittacosis is a very persistent disorder.


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## OP (Oct 22, 2016)

g_w said:


> "What? It is _(insert current year here)_, not the 1950s!"


Seriously though, isn't it weird that this response hasn't appeared in this thread yet?


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## Lovable (Apr 1, 2017)

I think it would depend on why. And the situation..

If we had a baby and it would give me more time to spend with it, I think I would accept. Not for ever but maybe for a few years. And only if his income could support us both, without having to give up our way of life/ lifestyle. But I think I would be practical about it, I mean what about my own money? I wouldn't want to feel like it was his money supporting me.

I like the idea of having more time to do art and stuff I like, but I would hate being cut of from socializing.


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## KillinIt (Jul 27, 2015)

I'd have no problem staying at home if it was my choice but if my husband told me that, I'd tell him exactly where he could stick his ideas. If he chose to marry me then he'd know a comment like that would not end well. If he wants someone to stay at home and do extra housework or whatever then he can do it himself!

Focusing on the home might be a nice thing to do and maybe if we had kids then I'd have a reason, but the key thing here is that he doesn't order me to do things.


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## Nekomata (May 26, 2012)

Probably tell him it aint happening xD. Although not working sounds nice, but doing housework sounds like more work than actual work :/ would probably need an explanation for this change in mindset too.


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## Finny (Jul 17, 2015)

I think it's quite rude to state that he doesn't want you working and wants you to focus on him. If a husband wants his wife to be a stay at home mom, I think that discussion can be had in a much more respectful manner where he recognizes both parties ambitions and is more concerned with the kids than either party, and he himself should be incorporating the idea of him staying home as well. 

I think there can be benefits to this, especially if one party is more submissive and or doesn't enjoy their job as much, but if both parties have a fulfilling job and or they don't have children, I don't think this conversation needs to be had.


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## Aelthwyn (Oct 27, 2010)

Personally I think it's very important work to be a home-maker (it's not 'not working'). I think it's great to have someone at home who is focused on making it a good place to be, someone who is there to welcome spouse and kids home, someone who isn't stressed by their day job and comes home drained or irritable, someone who isn't absorbed in their individual career but who invests their energy and attention into their family, someone who is available to be there for family members when they're sick during normal work hours or to be up at night with them and not worry about not being able to wake up for work in the morning, etc. etc. Whether it's the husband or the wife doesn't matter, but I think it's really great if you are able to have one person at home who can be a real support in ways_ other than_ an extra paycheck.


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## Wild (Jul 14, 2014)

Aelthwyn said:


> Personally I think it's very important work to be a home-maker (it's not 'not working'). I think it's great to have someone at home who is focused on making it a good place to be, someone who is there to welcome spouse and kids home, someone who isn't stressed by their day job and comes home drained or irritable, someone who isn't absorbed in their individual career but who invests their energy and attention into their family, someone who is available to be there for family members when they're sick during normal work hours or to be up at night with them and not worry about not being able to wake up for work in the morning, etc. etc. Whether it's the husband or the wife doesn't matter, but I think it's really great if you are able to have one person at home who can be a real support in ways_ other than_ an extra paycheck.


I agree with this, I can definitely see how important it can be for a family to have a member that keeps shit together at home. 

I do, however, think a lot of people underestimate how much work it can be. I see some people posting about how it's less stress than a 9-to-5 job, but I don't think that's necessarily the case at all. My grandma was a stay at home mom (of course) and she still complains to me about how hard it was for her. She went on to work at a hospital and became some kind of a head honcho nurse, and she claims even that was less stressful for her. Nurses bust their asses, too! It can really be a shit ton of work, and thankless depending on the family. I have a lot of respect for people who can do it. 

If I ever had a kid, I'd try to stay home for a couple years while the kid was small. I'm built to work though, and I love the career path I'm paving right now. I don't know if I'd be able to pull it off. Guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.


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## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

Well, honestly, I'd probably laugh. And then I'd ask him what's up. I wouldn't mind not working at a workplace outside the home for a little while, but I'd get wanderlust very, very quickly. I think he'd make a better stay-at-home parent and I think he agrees with me for the most part - he just isn't much a fan of babies. So we've talked about raising kids and I've said that I'd be happy to stay at home for the first year, maybe two, but after that I think we should switch. Once they hit kindergarten, we can both work again - or maybe he'll stay at home longer. I doubt I will be doing that though.


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## Fumetsu (Oct 7, 2015)

If I were a career woman, I imagine I would tell him it is not happening.

It's quite different in my situation.

A while agree I told him I had applied for a job that looked promising. I couldn't tell if his expression was more hurt or confused.

" ...I told you that I am happy to provide for you for as long as I'm able to." But he didn't argue when I told him that I needed to get the hell out of the house to retain a little sanity.

You know, he has a couple flaws-as everyone does-but the more time I spend on the internet and see the number of ill meaning or even just plain ignorant misogynists and immature little boys who really do exist, the more I appreciate him.


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## BlackDog (Jan 6, 2012)

Depends. Quit my dream job, or quit the job I have now and/or any job I've ever had?

In the first case I would only do it if we had a kid with special needs or something that required my full time attention. In the second case I would do it in a heartbeat. But I'd warn him that he would now be responsible for my fine wine and rare book habits and that I don't want to hear a peep of protest out of him about it.


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## brightflashes (Oct 27, 2015)

Other. My partner is a pretty reasonable person and he has a very clear idea of who I am. One thing that keeps our relationship together is that we both call each other out when there is any sort of unhealthy behavior. If my partner came to me and said this, my first response would be for him to explain why he thinks this. I'd just assume he had a good reason. For example, maybe he thinks that work is bad for my health or ... I mean, I don't know, but he wouldn't say this to me if there wasn't anything major going on or some sort of dramatic change in our life. I have both worked and not worked in our relationship and he has been fine with both.


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## Queen of Cups (Feb 26, 2010)

I chose to leave a career path I enjoyed to be a SAHM. It was important to me to be at home when my kids were small. Plus daycare for 3 small children would negate any salary I earned. And our youngest was a surprise that has put my plans on hold again.
But, it was a decision we made together and we have been lucky enough that his salary covers our lifestyle.

If he came home and told me I was staying home or else and didn't even listen to my input or feelings, we'd have problems.


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## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

November Rose said:


> *So how would you react if your husband suddenly told you he didn't want you working, that he wanted you to only focus on him and your home???*


I would think he want(s) to serve me [disguised as me serving to him; [under some mythos]] Is that WHAT they are _calling it these days _...? Plenty males have this fetish (they are sugar-daddies) in "modern-times", if you wish to get _really sweet_. I could _find this luxury_, if I needed without marital enslavement. Quite a few-female specimens take advantage; and utilizes this common male need to serve. 

The (malfunction) is they often _dislike _my (rules / regulations) set around them - which, he as the server - should be more than _willing to appease_; if he wants to. If I were to leave my job; he must _obey what I wish from him_ - as well as my requirement(s) - which will be pricey; but the _serving gentleman _he is, it should not be rather difficult. Since all that is required is my behind - he must put on_ quite a show_ before marital-chaining as well. We must also make this vow_ before marital enslavement_; [not during].

He _cannot have his cake_; then_ eat it _as well. Without that - he must accept that I will not only terminate the marriage as warranted as he has broken his vows - [and then _continue to work_] in spite of gaining (half) the assets. This is a question for the male to ponder; not the female - although; it is always disguised a female-question. I believe the [shit-slinging] MGTOW's call *this fact *"female nature" - and not cut out for all. 

My fluctuation is unlikely without reason. The (husbands) - duties are to (answer) to the wives need(s) / subjective & unique happiness (that was being produced at her own whim). The _delusion_ is I will __actually__ stay at home with a checklist. That is _just enticing wordplay._ What_ warrants _that....?

If _he decides _to serve; it does not imply I _need_ to do anything (except) benefit / reward at my own whim. My_ agency_ remains intact. Of course; that is seen as tad unsympathic - but I reckon the situation itself doesn't miss _too far off the margin_. (I reckon this is why faux fact-free religious mythos were "implemented / placed" into marital enslavement - to prevent this very thing). _I am not religious_. 

Or perhap(s) you are posing the scenario within a (sacrifice) of romantic-love aka another one of the many human _boredom_ quenchers? I do not think I will ever be* this *bored.


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## JambiChick (May 29, 2017)

I would appreciate his opinion but continue working. You never know what the future holds; remain independent!


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