# ISFJ or INFJ



## my melody (Nov 3, 2009)

1) What aspect of your personality made you unsure of your type? I’ve taken tests and looked at the cognitive functions but I’m still confused about whether I’m an ISFJ or INFJ. Most tests say I’m INTJ or INFJ. I’ve tested as ISTJ a few times but I know that’s not me. My mom is an ISTJ and we clash all the time. I know tests aren’t very accurate and functions are important to look at. I feel like I relate more to INFJ (Ni) but I feel like the past affects me a lot which I thought was closer to Si. I’m also not at the healthiest place in my life and am stressed out a lot lately with life events, which I know doesn’t help. I’ve read a lot about MBTI and Ni and Si I just feel like I’m not completely understanding it, like I’ve almost been going overboard with it and am probably a bit biased. This has just been bothering me so much lately and I feel like I need someone else’s input instead of just thinking about it for hours on end on my own.

2) What do you yearn for in life? Why? Deep connections with people. I have my boyfriend (99% sure he’s an INTP) who is incredibly important to me. I’m a loner type, so I prefer interacting with as few people as possible but I love analyzing people from afar. I want to be able to understand everyone and help when I can. I feel like I give good advice. Knowledge is very important to me. I’m competitive and a perfectionist. I want a sense of calm and peace and feeling like I belong. I feel like as long as I have one or two close people I can confide in, I’m okay. But I need to feel extremely close to them. I need to feel like I can rely on them to always be there for me, because I know I’ll always be there for them. I just need the same in return.

3) Think about a time where you felt like you were at your finest. Tell us what made you feel that way. I felt independent and like I could do anything I set my mind to. I had more self-confidence and felt like I could really change the world. I’ve always had a lot of dreams for myself, but when I felt my best, I really felt like I could achieve any of those things I saw for myself. It was a truly wonderful feeling, very freeing. I felt beautiful. Not just on the outside, but my spirit was light, happy and determined. 

4) What makes you feel inferior? Feeling less intelligent. I tend to put certain people on a pedestal when they are the artsy-intellectual types. Those are traits I very much value in myself and others. It’s always been important to me to be the best. I’m a perfectionist and I take it personally when, no matter the reason, I feel less intelligent. It’s a pretty huge deal to me and has a significant impact on my day when I feel that way.

5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.) I always weigh the pros and cons when making decisions and it can take me some time to come to conclusions because I like to have as much information as I can get so I can feel like I’m choosing the best path. I do consider the feelings of others, but ultimately I will do what I feel is best. It will really bother me though if I know I’m hurting someone I care about.

6) When working on a project what is normally your emphasis? Do you like to have control of the outcome? I definitely like to have control of the outcome, but if I’m working with a group of people I don’t know well I’m much more likely to stay quiet. In school if I had to speak I’d be shaking when I was forced to talk to people. In a situation like that I’m more likely to sit back and let other people take the reigns as long as they’re competent and I feel like they’re going in a direction I agree with. But when working with those I’m more comfortable around, I’ll be more likely to take control of the project and give my own opinions more readily.

7) Describe us a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it? The memories I have where I had fun are of spending time with my mom or boyfriend doing simple things like going to Barnes and Noble (bookstore), the local cultural district or going out to eat. Those aren’t things I get to do very often, so I really love being able to do them with people I care a lot about. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but I really appreciate being able to be with those two people because they’re like, everything to me. Just spending alone time with them makes my day. 

8) When you want to learn something new, what feels more natural for you? (Are you more prone to be hands on, to theorize, to memorize, etc) I like researching a topic I’m interested in to exhaustion. I do enjoy theorizing and seeing how things are connected. When learning things that don’t come as natural to me, I like hands-on approaches. I find that helps me to grasp the topic better.

9) How organized do you to think of yourself as? I think I’m pretty organized. I really love making plans and mapping out different paths for my future. I’ve been getting a high off making plans for the different possible career options I have. My room is kind of a mess, though and I’m certainly not a clean freak. 

10) How do you judge new ideas? You try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense or do you look for information that supports it? I’d go with my gut reaction to the idea first then consider the supporting information. I would immediately see how it would affect future plans, which is probably how I would make the decision of whether or not to go with that idea. I’m usually pretty good at understanding ideas and I consider myself open-minded enough to change a course of action if there is a way things can be improved. 

11) You find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself? I like it when people can work together. I’m big on unity . I think it’s possible to follow what you believe and still help others to feel included. If it got to a point where I absolutely had to choose between giving in on my beliefs (assuming this is something I feel strongly about) in favor of other people feeling ok, I’d probably go with my beliefs, though I can imagine it would bother me to not be able to find a good compromise.

12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions? Usually thinking before speaking. I tend to analyze a situation to death before making a move in one direction or another. This isn’t always the case however. When I’m feeling particularly stressed I’m more likely to be impulsive. I definitely prefer one-on-one communication. It’s very hard for me to feel comfortable in a group setting. I know I’m an introvert.

13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words? Like above, I analyze before jumping in. I like to know as much as I can about a situation before making a decision.

14) It's Saturday. You're at home, and your favorite show is about to start. Your friends call you for a night out. What will you do? Stay home. Probably feel bad about rejecting their offer, but I know I’d most likely not have fun when 99% of the time I prefer staying home. 

15) How do you act when you're stressed out? I worry over everything. I become even more pessimistic than usual. I get way too concerned about details that aren’t very important which irritates the hell out of me. Everything makes me angry and it’s very hard for me to calm down and relax. I tend to snap at people easily and say things I don’t really mean. 

16) What makes you dislike the personalities of some people? I dislike it when people are so emotional that they can’t get anything done. I don’t like when people are so insensitive they don’t respect people. When they look down on others. I can’t stand when people don’t LISTEN, when you’re talking to them, trying to be open and honest and they just aren’t getting it. (I feel like I’m coming off as a jerk as I type this stuff which is really bothering me. I don’t want to be taken the wrong way, hopefully I’m not. xD)

17) Is there anything you really like talking about with other people? Why things are the way they are. Politics and religion. Cause and effect of situations. This morning I had a good conversation with my boyfriend about the documentary Waiting For Superman which is about the US school system. I really enjoy talking about things in depth and getting to the bottom of WHY things are this or that way and how a lot of the problems we face aren’t simple and will take a lot of work to resolve. I get really invested in these types of topics and feel at home when having in depth conversations with people who also enjoy such things.

18) What kind of things do pay the least attention to in your life? I’m finding it hard to think of an answer to this which I find funny because these are the things I pay the least amount of attention to so it _would_ be hard to think of them, right? Lol. Ummm… Ok, I don’t care much about fashion. I don’t wear makeup most of the time. I like to look nice, but I don’t follow trends. Does that count? Idk. Lol.

19) How do your friends perceive you? What is wrong about their perception? ? What would your friends never say about your personality ? They think I’m quiet, nice, giving, compassionate, maybe complex. They would probably never say I was conceited or selfish. None of my friends have really known a lot about me though, so I don’t think their answers would be too helpful when deciding on my personality type. It just kind of confirms to me that I’m an introvert. I never really felt like they understood me. I never felt like I fit in with any of them. I yearned for deeper friendships but everything with them has been very surface, shallow-y stuff. I’ve always kept to myself and never had many friends.

20) You got a whole day to do whatever you like. What kind of activities do you feel like doing? I’d hang out with my boyfriend doing things we both enjoy such as going to book stores and museums and watching movies together. It would be rather simple but I would enjoy it a lot because I’d be spending time with someone I care about and respect so much.

A little background information:
I’m 21 now but I had a hard childhood. Though not as bad as many children go through, I realize. I went through a lot of unpleasant times with my mom who is an alcoholic. Grew up in a really bad situation and I have a lot of painful memories. Answering the questions related to happiness was hard for me as I don't remember a lot of good times. I’ve struggled with depression/anxiety, eating disorders, self-injury and suicide attempts for years (though I haven’t attempted in almost two years and am actually in a better place than I was for most of my adolescence). I understand this makes the whole typing me thing more difficult and I apologize for that. I just feel like people should have at least a basic knowledge of this stuff before attempting to type me.


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## vel (May 17, 2010)

Ni is past introspective function also, it just does something completely opposite to Si to the past. Si stores information about the past in great detail, thus Si users can be very good at trivia games for example because recalling names, dates, places, quotes from books is Si-users forte. This is how their memories are stored. Ni erases all that detail and interconnects all the pieces of information into one bigger picture of things. Thus Ni memory is full of themes and processes rather than facts, figures, and detail. Ni users tend to speak in generalities with which they annoy the Si-users btw who speak in 'concretions'.


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## my melody (Nov 3, 2009)

Thank you for replying, I appreciate it. As I said in the beginning I feel like I lean towards INFJ. I've researched Si vs Ni but like I said above, I think I've gone overboard and have over complicated it for myself which is why I really just want someone else to look at the information and give me their input so I can mull over that too. I tend to just get caught up in my own head and I think i've just thought about this too much and mushed everything together into something really confusing, lol. After reading my opening thread, which do you feel I am? Or do you want any clarification to the answers, because I'd be happy to give it.

edit:

I know only I can decide on my type. I know that's ultimately up to me. I really just wanted other people's opinions.


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## vel (May 17, 2010)

I'd say INFJ. You seem to speak in generalities. There aren't many specific examples and descriptions of concrete experiences in the answers you provided, rather you speak in themes and unified topics.


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## teddy564339 (Jun 23, 2010)

I agree with vel, I'm getting a much stronger INFJ vibe. Usually ISFJ's are a little more straightforward, basic, grounded and sequential.


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## my melody (Nov 3, 2009)

Thank you both for your input, it's much appreciated. =) Again, if you'd like any clarification I'll do my best to provide it.


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## floryshe (Jan 21, 2010)

vel said:


> Ni is past introspective function also, it just does something completely opposite to Si to the past. Si stores information about the past in great detail, thus Si users can be very good at trivia games for example because recalling names, dates, places, quotes from books is Si-users forte. This is how their memories are stored. Ni erases all that detail and interconnects all the pieces of information into one bigger picture of things. Thus Ni memory is full of themes and processes rather than facts, figures, and detail. Ni users tend to speak in generalities with which they annoy the Si-users btw who speak in 'concretions'.


i partially disagree with your interpretation of Si. not sure why so many people think this function is simply a storehouse for information. it compares and contrasts information with archetypes that are already well known to the user. i'm absolutely horrible at remembering details, names, dates, etc unless i've spent a significant amount of time studying. everything, for me, is compared against strongly held perceptions that are always at the forefront of my character.


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## my melody (Nov 3, 2009)

@floryshe I do think that I compare and contrast with things already known to me at times. But I feel like I relate more to Ni as I'm more future focused and more interested in seeing things in new ways. I love when I see something from a new perspective, it makes me feel very connected to humanity. I really enjoy being able to look at the cause and effect of any given situation. After reading my opening thread and this reply, what is your opinion on my type? If you have any questions, feel free to ask.


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## floryshe (Jan 21, 2010)

what's your idea of being future focused? 

for me, it's all about my responsibilities. things that have a deadline set on them are always kind of lingering on my mind. i don't put much thought into looking at things that are just up in the air.

edit:
i'm extremely interested in expanding my horizons in relation to my perspective on things. (so long as it's congruent with something that is important to me.)

- i imagine an infj would be more prone to exploring many beaten paths off the main road when looking at something.


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## my melody (Nov 3, 2009)

For me responsibilities are important and I will normally hold those to higher value. But, for example, what I enjoy planning out the most are the different careers I could have with the majors I'm deciding on. If it helps, the majors I'm most interested in are: Psychology, languages, Sociology, Linguistics, Philosophy, History etc. I'm pretty sure I'm going to go the Psychology route though. Anyhow, I think that's more in line with theorizing. I really like look at the different possibilities I have. I'll think about any and everything, not just deadlines. I do procrastinate, which I'm not proud of. For example, in my English class I put off two of the papers until the week before they were due. I still got very high grades of course, but still, I don't like that I procrastinate like that at times. Even as a child I was a worry-wort, as my mom put it. She's an ISTJ and would constantly tell me (she still does to this day) to take things as they come and to not worry so much about the future and what you can't control. She's a very in the moment person and I've never been that way. I've always been worrying about what is happening tomorrow or weeks, months, years down the line. I remember,for example, in therapy when I was 14 how I was so scared of turning 18 and having to move out and go away to school and how silly my mom thought that was because I still had so long and there was no need to worry about that then. I'm sorry if this was all over the place, but I hope it answered your question. =)


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## Heat Mirage (Jan 28, 2010)

Looking at this, I think you're an ISFJ.


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## vel (May 17, 2010)

Having a good sense of responsibilities is a result of Je function, which is same of INFJs and ISFJs. So not easy to differentiate between the two types here based on responsibility. Both types tend to have an acute sense that other people are expecting you to do a good job and are relying on you. Both feel responsible to do their best. Both are dedicated to completing the tasks, especially when some form of greater good is involved for other people.

INFJs may appear to be more lazy at typical jobs because the gain energy from more conceptual/imaginative type work. If the job involves keeping track of a lot of detail, following protocols or performing repetitive tasks, high precision physical work, then we simply feel drained, unhappy, and very tired by the end of the day from this type of work. This may be interpreted by other people that INFJs are lazy and irresponsible.



floryshe said:


> i partially disagree with your interpretation of Si. not sure why so many people think this function is simply a storehouse for information. it compares and contrasts information with archetypes that are already well known to the user. i'm absolutely horrible at remembering details, names, dates, etc unless i've spent a significant amount of time studying. everything, for me, is compared against strongly held perceptions that are always at the forefront of my character.


I wasn't implying that Si users have photographic memory and just absorb everything instantly without need to study or memorize. Si is not _how good_ one's memory is. But one of its functions is to be a filter that determines what _type_ of information gets stored in memory. And I'm sure it does a whole lot more than just filter. Ni btw does this comparison thing too. My Ni bounces and compares new incoming information and at times it makes me feel like this new stuff is meaningless for me.



my melody said:


> ... She's an ISTJ and would constantly tell me (she still does to this day) to take things as they come and to not worry so much about the future and what you can't control. She's a very in the moment person and I've never been that way. I've always been worrying about what is happening tomorrow or weeks, months, years down the line.


Are you sure she is ISTJ and not ISTP? IxxJ personalities tend to be planners and worrywarts. Usually it is the Ps who have the attitude of come what may and live more in the moment. This is one of the reasons why we IxxJs tend to like Ps


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## SuperNova85 (Feb 21, 2011)

I would definitely say INFJ.....
The fact that you seem to favor intellectual temperaments makes a strong case for INFJ...N's seem to favor intellectual and artistic people, hobbies and careers over S's

And also the fact that you wrote such a lengthly post and seem to be so interested in finding your type marks another tally for N.
Take a good look around this website and you will find a mix of E's and I's, T's and F's...P's and J's.......but you will find a glaring dominance in N's over S's. The fact is that N's are much more introspective and interested in finding they're types than S's seem to be

Thats my personal opinion.

Hope that helped


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## my melody (Nov 3, 2009)

vel said:


> INFJs may appear to be more lazy at typical jobs because the gain energy from more conceptual/imaginative type work. If the job involves keeping track of a lot of detail, following protocols or performing repetitive tasks, high precision physical work, then we simply feel drained, unhappy, and very tired by the end of the day from this type of work. This may be interpreted by other people that INFJs are lazy and irresponsible.


I don't think I've ever been interpreted as irresponsible. I've always been the dependable one you can count on (for the most part.) But that first sentence is very much me. I work as a kennel tech at a animal hospital and although I love being around the animals, I find it rather stressful and my favorite times at work are when I get there around 5am before anyone arrives (I get there earlier than I'm supposed to in order to avoid people, lol...) and I have time to just sit outside with one of the dogs and think to myself for a while. It's all I do at home so you'd think I'd get tired of it but nope, no way. I thrive on it and hate anything interrupting that time for me. 




> Are you sure she is ISTJ and not ISTP? IxxJ personalities tend to be planners and worrywarts. Usually it is the Ps who have the attitude of come what may and live more in the moment. This is one of the reasons why we IxxJs tend to like Ps


Yea, I'm sure she's an ISTJ, lol. I actually just had her take the test again and she came out as ISFP which is just hilarious to me as she's one of the least emotional/feeling type people I know. She really doesn't see the point in things like typology but she humored me and took it. She told me she just answered most the questions a neither accurate or inaccurate, so that explains the wrong type. I know she uses Si and Te, I'm sure of that. I think she has a lower J function, though, as I'm more interested in planning than she is. She is a very traditional, non-active, introverted, non-emotional person. I don't see much Se in her at all now, though she did go through a rebellious stage in her early 20s which may have been Se as she was going out a lot. She was never like that before then and certainly isn't like that now, lol.


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## Jerick (Mar 19, 2010)

floryshe said:


> i partially disagree with your interpretation of Si. not sure why so many people think this function is simply a storehouse for information. it compares and contrasts information with archetypes that are already well known to the user. i'm absolutely horrible at remembering details, names, dates, etc unless i've spent a significant amount of time studying. everything, for me, is compared against strongly held perceptions that are always at the forefront of my character.


You're right. Si doesn't have to do with facts or something like that. It's just sensory information, or memories that you've taken in with your five senses. Then you compare those experiences with your current experience or thought.

STJs are the ones that are good about remembering facts, not SFJs. Their actual memory isn't necessarily better than anyone else, but Te causes STJs to place an emphasis on remembering facts, while Fe causes SFJs to place importance on other information. This is especially the case with ISTJs because of inferior Ne causing them to dislike theorizing, and preferring concrete information that can be observed with their five senses. ISTJs are probably the type that started the Scientific Method.


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## phantom_cat (Jan 1, 2011)

Si is gathering facts to get understanding, while Ni is understanding (through intuiting) and is able to pull out the facts.


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