# Poem Consolidation



## Popinjay

I just created this to consolidate my PerC poems in one place. They're not great. They're not horrific. But I enjoy them because they are mine. Please post yours if you want.

*The Dead Son's Lament*

For all the times I should have and didn't
For all the times I could have and wouldn't
For all the times I wanted to but couldn't
I'm sorry

For all the ways I've failed you
For all the times I've ailed you
For being your chronic disappointment
I'm sorry

For all your dreams I've shattered
For all your time I've wasted
For not being a miscarriage
I'm sorry

For not living up to your full potential
For not bringing you fame and glory
For failing to be your legacy
I'm sorry

Now may you remember me no longer
Now may the pain of your failure be numbed
Now may the dead one be the forgotten one
For he is no more


*The Tunnel*

I remember the warm light of day
But at once it was cold
And then the darkness was all I could see
The foul smell of a mossy cave
Never visited by the likes of men
Now my home for all time
I walk slowly...inching my way to oblivion
I turn and look back to see
The endless corridor...black as night
I hear her sweet voice, calling me by name
I feel the warmth of her breath on my ear
Then I open my eyes and see my destiny
My endless tears fall to the mossy floor
They feed this empty prison of my soul
Sustaining its eternal death
I hear wailing in the distance
The chilling cries of one to be pitied
And realize they are my own
Now I shall see her no more
Now I shall love her no more
Now I shall die in this everlasting night


*Alone*

Alone...I am truly myself, I am truly nothing
A wraith without a haunt, A spirit without rest
Wandering for eternity, From emptiness to despair

Alone...of no value, a terrible mistake
A little boy with scars on his wrists
One for every failure, One for every year he did not deserve

Alone...incapable of doing, without skill or talent
A slave to all men, A fellow of none
Serving the body, Having no part

Alone...undeserving of love, unworthy of notice
A child unwanted, A life rejected
Begging but for a touch, Yearning but for a glance

Alone...an abortion not sought, a decision regretted
A baby hated, An infant reviled
Living to die, Dying to live

Alone...a defective creation, a waste of life
An ugly sparrow, A loathsome toad
A wretch without compare, A nomad of the desert

Alone...I shall live alone, I shall die alone
Marked for scorn, Set apart for destruction
A single breath, An eternal gasp


*Empty Pages*

Turning and looking
The pages return
Nothing but white
Nothing to write

Dear Diary, Dear Journal
And that sort of schpeel
Nothing but white
Nothing to write

A poem? A musing?
A rambling divine?
Nothing but white
Nothing to write

Stories of the deepest
Love, just not mine
Nothing but white
Nothing to write

Maybe they'll notice
If I don't show
Nothing but white
Nothing to write

Perhaps they'll come looking
For objects below
"You have nothing to write"
'Nothing to write...'


*Angry Feelings*

Fuck you
Fuck me
Fuck the eucalyptus tree

You're mine, I'll say
You can suck it
You piece of shit

I so fucking hate you
I wish you were dead
By my hands alone

You're smug, as if you deserve it all
You deserve nothing; you deserve to be beaten
Fuck you

You think you know everything
What's fucking awesome is you're like a talking Mickey Mouse toy
You spew the programmed material out both ends

You think highly of yourself and as you should
For we all know you're the smartest, the wisest
Could I aspire to fuck my way to the top like you?

Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you, too

"I'm sorry...sometimes I stare..."


*Shitstorm*

It smells good
It smells tasty
And I'm really not randy

I step in
I splosh in
If I could eat it like candy

My ears are bleeding
From the sound that's not teeming
While I sit in a pit and make
Rhymes that don't add up

Call me a drama queen
Call me a whiner
At least I stand for something
You pathetic piece of lint

If you had my week you'd be full of shit, too


*Drifting*

A bottle or two
Of my favorite brew
Staring out the fourth story window
Why not?

Drifting into the night
The Dark Night of the Soul
It's all the same
It's all The Shit

That railing doesn't look very sturdy
I do like my paint job
But someone will key it anyway
Eff it all...or not...who cares?

Drifting into the night
The Dark Night of My Wad
Give to the poor; buy a new house
Are we talking about the same thing here?

To catch these crimson ribbons in a jar
And carry them to and fro
To create a new mixology
Perhaps that's going too far

Drifting into the night
The Dark Night of My Imagination
Eat, drink and be merry
For tomorrow we slit our throats

Not quite dreaming but not awake
My arms are tied down in my sleep
The demon sits on my chest
He saps my breath, my happiness

Drifting into the night
The Dark Night of Clawing
Trying desperately to escape the pit
The pit above our heads


*I Stand Alone*

I hate my job
I suck at it

I have no friends
I am single

I am lonely
I am alone

I am ugly
I am truly ugly

I have no dreams
I have no wishes

I am self-centered
I am self-absorbed

I am unintelligent
I am stupid

I am useless
I am worthless

I hurt myself
I like it

I do not stand out from the crowd
I stand apart from the crowd

I stand alone


*Crimson Ribbons*

Shining bright in the moonlight
Tonight all is made right
Neither here nor there
But always everywhere

The icy chill
The breath of winter's night
A backdrop for a warrior's delight

Empty and cold
Full and warm
Dead and still
Hopeful, elated

Crimson ribbons stream down
Down, down to the ground
Crimson ribbons stream down
Neverending, ever-flowing
Down, down to the ground


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## Popinjay

*Shallow*

A gaping hole lies within
Numb to sorrow, pain and sin

Shadows hide what is not
And thinly veil pernicious rot

A city without light
A cloud but not as white

Trees with birds they do not bring
Moaning songs they do not sing

A burning torch as cool as snow
In vast chambers down below

Moon and stars and signs to see
But who can tell...what will be will be


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## Popinjay

*Leave Me Be*

No requests
No demands
I'd rather be damned
Leave me be

Not for you
Not for me
I'm ready to be free
Leave me be

These scars you see
They've drawn the line
Between now and then
To this point in time
Leave me be

No friends, no family
No source of love
This soul is ready
For what's above
Leave me be

Now it's best
I breathe my last
No dwelling on present or past
Leave me be


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## Popinjay

*Histamine Dream*

I stumbled through
Today you see
This bed to prove
Its need for sleep

Amazing how
Once not pissed off
Benadryl
Makes sleep of naught

Within the drunken
Glaze of drug
Finds repose
From all that's fucked

Spouses, bosses
And colonscopies
All fade away
In the Histamine dream


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## Popinjay

*Competent*

Count once, count twice
Add them together
It would have been nice
To have arrived unscathed

Count three, count four
They'd all like you
To know all the more
But not in a bed that's made

Count five, count six
Coming apart at the seams
Feels like someone kicked you in the...
And then another breath, moving on

Count seven, count eight
Numb to feelings, numb to numbness
Things you once began to hate
Now you're dreaming all night long

Count nine, count ten
Who gives a shit, I'll be dead in 60 years
My thoughts so easily bend
And so I say I'm competent


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## Popinjay

*Conan*

A life worth living
You bequeathed to me
Transcendent giving
You've set me free
You got the shaft
From NBC
They really fucked up
By picking Jimmy
I know the ratings
Might prove me wrong
But all your fans
Know Jimmy's a douche


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## Popinjay

*What's Due*

To you, really, to you?
I find that rather untrue
A pain in the ass
I'd rather pass
On you...on you

You find I'm lacking in fairness?
Perhaps you think I've erred?
It could be your way
I'd rather not say
To you...to you

Kicked you in the balls?
A pay-out that's too small?
The view is yours
I don't feel implored
By you...by you

Now you want a hug?
Go fuck yourself...you fuck
You'll never get me
To acknowledge or see
YOU...YOU


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## Popinjay

*Do Tell*

Why do I hate you so very much?
Why do I desire to crack your skull on the pavement?
Perhaps I'm being unreasonable
Perhaps you are as nice as they think

I suppose I could be content
To slash your tires...maybe make a dent
But human flesh and oozing blood
Soothe emotions that seek to flood

It's not that I want to hurt you so
I know your conscience is white as snow
Sooner or later you'll fuck to death
The next rung up toward ladder's best

I'm trying to find a way to find
A way to off you in my mind
You'll find your way back though, every time
But sooner or later vengeance shall be mine


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## Popinjay

*A Wisp*

'The wind blows suddenly cold as he clutches her as if forever.' The cliched words of a thousand poems that seek to tell the same inane tale of love and romance and Knights in shining armor. Fuck that. I'll tell you a tale. A tale of love unrequited. A tale of love rejected. A tale of mockeries and shared frappuchinos over would-be corpses of men still breathing.

'They embraced...his lips touched hers like a child smoothing his fingers over the wrapping of an expected treasure on Christmas morning...never questioning the joy that would henceforth follow.' Bullshit...total bullshit. She kisses him but not on his lips. Her head lies in his lap while Sir Lancelot tries to keep his lance in its sheath. Did Knights have six-packs? I rather doubt it.

I slit my wrists for you...I bled for you. I know not how to express my love. I would give anything...do anything. But you have chosen another. You have chosen my mortal friend...he whom I trusted above all others. Now you are both dead to me. May herpes forever be your friend...you certainly didn't get it from me.

The wisp of my love has diffused into your atmosphere. Your light forever illuminates my failure. Stupid that I would seek to be enough for you. Idiot!; that I would try to share my heart with you. I love you...truly now and always...fuck you so very much. Just fuck you, now and forevermore.


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## Popinjay

*Mirrors*

Traipsing through this darkened hall
Where grey moonlight willst never fall
I steel myself to face thus all
For all that follows shall appall

A quick turn...there becomes
A window into time undone
Sunshine, smiles, and sounds of fun
Now regret, remorse, and all is fucked

A turn to the right, lo and behold
A virgin, perfect, beauty untold
She strokes my face and takes a hold
Then poof she's gone and the mirror is mold

Approaching the end of this journey long
An old man, sitting alone in throng
He bleeds, he coughs, they stop their song
He quiets and they ring the gong

Wailing, screaming, all is right
No rest for the wicked, no end in sight
Permanence now, eternity's blight
For once ignored an offering of Light


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## Popinjay

*The Donald*

"Ya fired" I love to hear you say
You are my hero in every way

Your hair is like a golden harp
Your eyes are blue as a tarp

Republican, Democrat, you are all
Bush, Hillary, you're ten feet tall

You always lie about your net worth
But even $100M brings its mirth

You played a part in Home Alone 2
Back when you were a Democrat, too

You're pro-choice, pro gay-marriage, and pro ObamaCare
But all the conservatives love you, so shall I dare


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## Popinjay

*The Donald, Part 2*

You're a fucking psycho
Why the hell is my party polling for you???
Maybe you are a spy for the Dems
Or maybe it's your rad do

I knew you were a liar
I knew you were a sick fuck
But now I'm genuinely frightened
If this country is down on its luck

And so I shall vote for the Lizard Queen
I'll buy a t-shirt with her face
I'll vote for a party I've vowed to destroy
In hopes of saving the human race

And in 2020 I'll do it again
I'll piss my vote away with the rest
At least I'll know it could have been worse
Donald could have fucked America to death


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## Popinjay

*The Fucked Up Miscarriage*

Would it really have
Been wrong to ask
You to have been
A lump of meat

For truly I
Would seek to fly
From this shit
That holds my feet

I let that con
Talk me out of one
Abortion to end
This saga

And now he's gone
Off to fuck
Some other
Sugar mama

I'd sell my soul
To have this toll
Taken from
My lap

But sooner still
I'd happily fill
Your bottle
With my scat

18 years and finally
I'll be able to see
The end to my misery
I'll throw you out on your ass


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## Popinjay

*Why???*

Shit happens...no one would dispute this axiom. Why does it happen to me? A stupid question...why even ask. It happens to everyone. Shit is smelly...sometimes it's greasy and breaks into little pieces and a lot of gas comes out...this might just be if you're lactose intolerant. I digress.

Shit happens...no one would argue that life is complete without the shit. Philosophers in their flowing robes and prehistoric Birkenstocks have settled this question long ago...you can't have light without darkness...beauty without grody...Sir Patrick Stewart without Sir Ian McKellen, and the order not beyond dispute...life without death...hot Black Angus babe without lonely nights petting the other kind of pussy.

Shit happens...life is shit...life is The Shit...it's all fucked...it's all taking afternoon naps in a bed that's not made with your sugar mama and her collection of Patrick Duffy photos. It's The Shit...a rainbow sunset from a park-bench at Santa Cruz...dinners at over-priced restaurants with waiters who use fake accents...and American-made sports cars that get horrible mileage but constant attention from everyone dumb enough to care.

Shit happens...you're doing it now, you did it before and you'll do it again. Shit happens...it happened...happened...and it could not have happened any other way. Shit happens...like every other Star Trek film, all the TNG films, and let's face it: anything with Ben Affleck. Shit happens...have you looked at our Government recently?

Shit...it happens.


_Brought to you by the American Council on Shitastic Posts_


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## Popinjay

*Stephanie*

Stephanie, you will forever be the one and only
There is no one I would rather be with from now until death
I would take you now...though all these years have tainted things since we last saw each other

I dream of you...asleep and awake...everywhere...all the time
I see you in every other girl...they are all bits and pieces of you
But somehow no one else can measure up...no one else even comes close

Endless journal entries from endless sleepless nights
All dedicated to you...all dedicated to what I've lost forever
Songs, poems...they all suck...they all make you sound like a whorish garden gnome

You are perfect in beauty...perfect in kindness...perfect in talent
Your siren song melts me and makes me want to be better...a better person
No one deserves you, me least of all

What could have been is now unwritten history
What should have been is now in my fantasy
Though I shall die without you, I will cherish these feelings

You have warmed my heart when nothing else could
Feelings I didn't know I had you resurrected from eternity's grave
You have been my muse...the muse of my existence

And now I will settle...I will settle for what life shall bring me
I will live with the hand that has been dealt me
And I will keep you only as a vague, sweet memory...my Stephanie


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## Popinjay

*Always*

I am empty and barren
My time grows short
There is nothing left for me
Hope has passed away
I'm standing still now

Why won't you move me?
Why won't you touch me again?
You've left me here alone
You've left me here to die
In my despair

The trees were green
And the water was pure
Like what we shared once
When it all mattered
Now it is black

I see in a mirror dimly
Your beauty compels me to search
I find ashes in crevices and cracks
The leftovers...perhaps it's enough
Do I have a choice?

To feel something now
To shed a tear
To see the blood turned to life
To fill the void that is veiled in shadow
Would be nice

But I will see you soon enough
For the light shines dimmer still
And I will retire
To where you are waiting
Always


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## Popinjay

*The Playground*

The light through the oak tree illuminates your face
The sun shines brilliantly it magnifies this place
Where we have come a million times and run around with joy
Just you and I for all our lives would play and act so coy
I'd never stop chasing you as you ran across the grass
I'd catch up with you and finally I'd grab you at last
Then we'd hold hands and make our way home
Never questioning what the other felt or fouling up the tone
And as the sunshine turns to black I walk around this yard
I sit in the swings where we once sat and think about how far
The time has changed so many things but one thing stays the same
I'll cherish you in this place, the place where we once came​


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## Popinjay

*Invasion*

You are a virus
You enter without warning
You quickly infiltrate
You are relentless
You are thorough
All attempts to kill you fail
There is no escape
There is no hope
Only death

You are a cancer
You multiply silently
You conquer kingdoms
You show no mercy
You have no feelings
Your heart is black
You will be satisfied
You will win

You are a mental illness
You are mysterious
You hide, lying in wait
You respond to pills
Then you overpower them
You push your way to madness
You cripple the powerful
You reduce kings to babies
And you never let up
Not for a second

So why the fuck don't I want to be cured of you?
​


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## Miniblini

Anonymity said:


> Fuck you
> Fuck me
> Fuck the eucalyptus tree


This one made me laugh. Partly because I liked the rhyme "eucalyptus tree" and partly because I have been there. You get to the point where you are just so disillusioned and bitter everything becomes a cosmic joke. It becomes so easy to get swallowed up in anger and be all "FUCK YOU TREE. FUCK YOU SQUIRREL. FUCK YOU BABY. FUCK YOU BROWN PATCH OF DEAD GRASS INBETWEEN THE CRACKS OF THE SIDEWALK." What makes it worse is the extreme guilt and embarrassment you feel after you finally get a moment of clarity. Not gonna lie, it was a painful and bittersweet laugh, but it did make me feel better knowing I am not the only one.

I usually don't read other people poetry anymore, but I really enjoy yours.

Oh, and that poem About Conan? ONE MILLION GOLD STARS.


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## Popinjay

Miniblini said:


> This one made me laugh. Partly because I liked the rhyme "eucalyptus tree" and partly because I have been there. You get to the point where you are just so disillusioned and bitter everything becomes a cosmic joke. It becomes so easy to get swallowed up in anger and be all "FUCK YOU TREE. FUCK YOU SQUIRREL. FUCK YOU BABY. FUCK YOU BROWN PATCH OF DEAD GRASS INBETWEEN THE CRACKS OF THE SIDEWALK." What makes it worse is the extreme guilt and embarrassment you feel after you finally get a moment of clarity. Not gonna lie, it was a painful and bittersweet laugh, but it did make me feel better knowing I am not the only one.
> 
> I usually don't read other people poetry anymore, but I really enjoy yours.
> 
> Oh, and that poem About Conan? ONE MILLION GOLD STARS.


I love eucalyptus trees. When I drive into Golden Gate Park area they are all over the place and smell so good. But that day I hated everything. Haha, you're definitely not the only one.

Thank you. 

I love Conan! My all-time favorite Conan sketch was LaBamba saying "In the Year 2000...in the Year 2000!" and then Conan and the guest would say these ridiculous things. It was funny when they perpetuated that skit and it was like 2005. NBC must own the rights to some of Conan's sketches because he doesn't do some of his old stuff on TBS. But I like him with Andy, so that makes up for the missing sketches.

Jimmy's ok...I saw a YouTube of him the other day and he's kind of funny...just less edgy. I'll admit his saving grace is he is even more family-friendly than Jay was. He draws all ages where Conan probably draws younger people only.

My other favorite late-night host was the Scottish guy...I'm totally drawing a blank...he was the late-late CBS guy. Craig Ferguson! His antics were amusing although I think he's gone now...?

It's not like I have any opinions about late-night talk shows or anything...


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## Miniblini

passcode said:


> i am tempted to post a few of my poems i actually put a lot of thought and effort into but i fear they're too metaphorical and come off as pretentious. also, they have real meaning to me. haha


Do it Passcode! I promise I won't think you're pretentious!


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## Popinjay

Miniblini said:


> OMG, just the thought of painting somebody someplace public makes me want to run away! Like, skitter like a cockroach that has just been exposed to light. That said Venice is the coolest! I would go there specifically to appreciate the art and crafts! Especially the masks, lacework, and the glasswork in the Jewish ghetto! Italy is so cool! THEY INVENTED BOLOGNA.
> 
> Drawing is really that hard? That is so strange to me... but then again you are really good at writing, which I find to be just as difficult as math! Words are hard, mang. You choose one wrong word, and the whole sentence means something different! Ugh, I get gassy just thinking about it.
> 
> Oh no! I didn't mean to make my Mom sound sexist! She is really a good person! Honest! But, now that I think about it, they do have some excellent ladies! Catwoman was like a philanthropist, and Poison ivy was a scientist. Bey, did you know BTAS was Harley Quinn's debut? If it weren't for that show, the Batman universe wouldn't have one of the coolest characters ever!
> 
> I don't know exactly what scared me about Lion King, to be perfectly honest. Growing up my Mom had always gotten every Disney movie, except that one, because I couldn't handle it! The only thing I remember being extremely terrified about was the part where Scar kills Mufasa. I don't know why other than it was extremely sad! @[email protected] I was a very emotional child, and I had nightmares about my Dad dying after I watched it. But I love the movie now! The music is some of the best! Have you heard the Broadway's version? SO GOOD. I really wanted to see it in Highschool, but they were sold out. :C I did get to see The Producers instead though!
> 
> Holy crap, I feel like I am going to get crucified for this, but..... I have never seen the first Star Wars trilogy! >n<
> I know I KNOW! I am a bad person, but no one I know has ever owned it! I did see the next 3 movies, but I couldn't get over what a tool Anakin was. Natalie Portman was great, (how old is she? Every time I see her she looks exactly the same age! she must be immortal.) as was Ewan McGregor. I just had this overwhelming desire to punch Anakin in his pretty face. I did, however, play both Star Wars KOTOR games, and I can't recommend them enough. I haven't seen the New Star Wars though. I sorry.
> 
> I bet you anything, if Star Wars is anything like LOTR in terms of awesomeness, I would become obsessed.
> 
> I really want to make a topic in Bipolar bears, but I don't know what to put. Nobody ever checks groups! Lame!


Haha, I'll bet you would do great. I've been to Mexico and El Salvador. Very beautiful places (especially El Salvador) but Europe is kind of unique, I think.

You are so very kind. Gassy...lol.

WELL YOU DID!!! I NOW KNOW WHO SHE TRULY IS AND HAVE ALREADY PASSED IRREVOCABLE JUDGMENT!!! How could I forget Poison Ivy?!?!?!? Interesting, I did not know that, although I had never heard of Quinn before that show so it makes sense.

I only had a handful of Disney movies growing up but my mom has literally bought EVERY single one at Streetlight and Raspy's so her grandkids have them to watch. She gets them for like nothing...$1.95, $0.95 (of course, this is VHS...this is when you say, "VH1?" and I say, "VHS" and you say, "TBS?" and I say, "No, VHS" and the conversation ends awkwardly. Well, maybe you remember VHS...I don't know when DVD's and now Blu Ray's took the mantle). My favorite was Sword in the Stone, although I'm a closet Sleeping Beauty lover.

That part is kind of scary...I mean the bad arse Lion King gets dropped into the wildebeests. Could see why that would be traumatic. My grandmother bought that for me for my 12th birthday in '94. It didn't really bother me but I was bothered by a lot of other stuff...Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom, Event Horizon, Barney (EVIL!!!!!!!! Haha, I never actually watched Barney)...stuff I totally shouldn't have been watching at whatever age I was.

I didn't know there was a Broadway version...interesting. I've heard of The Producers...what's that?

I hereby banish you to the nine realms of middle earth in a galaxy far far away where no man has gone before. Someone was on one of the chat threads yesterday saying they had never seen a single Star Wars, LotR, or Hobbit film. I feel like people like that should be imprisoned or something. :tongue: Well, you figure, in a way you're in a unique position because you have nothing to lose. If you watch them and hate them, hey, you lose a few hours. If you watch them and love them, you've got yourself a new thing to like!

Anakin was such a tool...he and his tallness and beautiful face...makes the rest of us men look like goblins. I think Natalie Portman was born the same year I was (...checking...), no she was born in 1981/34 years old. She made a deal with the devil. Ewan McGregor...beard or no beard? What say you?

I'm curious what you would think. They are different. I mean Star Wars is kind of a space soap opera like Star Trek except it moves at a much faster pace. LotR is less soap opera (well, except between Mortensen and Tyler) and more fantasy action.

After four years I thought I should survey the groups. I put myself in every group that interested me with 10 or more members, so now I'm in 27 groups :laughing:. I would have gone below 10 but that was another 16 pages of groups.

We could start a thread in the General Psych sub-forum. As long as the two of us keep it afloat, I bet we can get other people to join in. The trouble with that sub-forum (vs a self-contained Discussion in the group) is if I start a thread and no one else is involved, it's technically against Forum rules for me to keep it afloat with bump posts or nonsense posts. But if we are actually talking about the topic, we can Mention the other three members of the group and see if they want to talk.

What did you have in mind?


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## Miniblini

Anonymity said:


> Haha, I'll bet you would do great. I've been to Mexico and El Salvador. Very beautiful places (especially El Salvador) but Europe is kind of unique, I think.
> 
> You are so very kind. Gassy...lol.
> 
> WELL YOU DID!!! I NOW KNOW WHO SHE TRULY IS AND HAVE ALREADY PASSED IRREVOCABLE JUDGMENT!!! How could I forget Poison Ivy?!?!?!? Interesting, I did not know that, although I had never heard of Quinn before that show so it makes sense.
> 
> I only had a handful of Disney movies growing up but my mom has literally bought EVERY single one at Streetlight and Raspy's so her grandkids have them to watch. She gets them for like nothing...$1.95, $0.95 (of course, this is VHS...this is when you say, "VH1?" and I say, "VHS" and you say, "TBS?" and I say, "No, VHS" and the conversation ends awkwardly. Well, maybe you remember VHS...I don't know when DVD's and now Blu Ray's took the mantle). My favorite was Sword in the Stone, although I'm a closet Sleeping Beauty lover.
> 
> That part is kind of scary...I mean the bad arse Lion King gets dropped into the wildebeests. Could see why that would be traumatic. My grandmother bought that for me for my 12th birthday in '94. It didn't really bother me but I was bothered by a lot of other stuff...Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom, Event Horizon, Barney (EVIL!!!!!!!! Haha, I never actually watched Barney)...stuff I totally shouldn't have been watching at whatever age I was.
> 
> I didn't know there was a Broadway version...interesting. I've heard of The Producers...what's that?
> 
> I hereby banish you to the nine realms of middle earth in a galaxy far far away where no man has gone before. Someone was on one of the chat threads yesterday saying they had never seen a single Star Wars, LotR, or Hobbit film. I feel like people like that should be imprisoned or something. :tongue: Well, you figure, in a way you're in a unique position because you have nothing to lose. If you watch them and hate them, hey, you lose a few hours. If you watch them and love them, you've got yourself a new thing to like!
> 
> Anakin was such a tool...he and his tallness and beautiful face...makes the rest of us men look like goblins. I think Natalie Portman was born the same year I was (...checking...), no she was born in 1981/34 years old. She made a deal with the devil. Ewan McGregor...beard or no beard? What say you?
> 
> I'm curious what you would think. They are different. I mean Star Wars is kind of a space soap opera like Star Trek except it moves at a much faster pace. LotR is less soap opera (well, except between Mortensen and Tyler) and more fantasy action.
> 
> After four years I thought I should survey the groups. I put myself in every group that interested me with 10 or more members, so now I'm in 27 groups :laughing:. I would have gone below 10 but that was another 16 pages of groups.
> 
> We could start a thread in the General Psych sub-forum. As long as the two of us keep it afloat, I bet we can get other people to join in. The trouble with that sub-forum (vs a self-contained Discussion in the group) is if I start a thread and no one else is involved, it's technically against Forum rules for me to keep it afloat with bump posts or nonsense posts. But if we are actually talking about the topic, we can Mention the other three members of the group and see if they want to talk.
> 
> What did you have in mind?


Ugh, I was sick yesterday.... But I am bettrar now! And hey! Finally you have an avatar of someone I know of!

It seems like everyone but me has been to Mexico!

And YES i know what a VHS is, I am not THAT much younger (that would be cool if your Mom owned VH1 or TBS)! VHS was actually my families choice of video player for the longest time. Like, way past when DVDs became a thing. I mean, you can practically drop those things on the ground and they'd still work fine. I actually have a VHS/DVD combo player around here somewhere...

OMG I LOVE THE SWORD IN THE STONE! Even as a child, I remember watching it and thinking "WTF?" though, maybe not those exact words. Archimedes was the shizzle! XD And sleeping beauty was also a great movie (how many disney movies have famous dish washing scenes?)! Watching those movies again as an adult is weird, as there are so many things you don't catch as a child.

You were 12 in 94'? Woah, that is so weird to think that somebody was sentient during that time! I was like... 5? Ew, I was still a dorky little drooling... SQUISH!
I don't remember anything before 96'! I couldn't imagine being in the double digits in 94'! the 2000's were weird enough as is! That said, what little of the 90's I do remember, I liked more than the 2000's. Ah, the nostalgia.

As for Indiana Jones, I re-watched The Temple of Doom in Highschool, and I was still surprised. And Barney? MMMMM yeah, I liked it, but I would never admit it! I remember years and years after they came out with a movie, I remember using my little niece as an excuse to watch it. Ugh, I still feel like a huge dork just thinking about it.

YEAH! There is a Broadway version of the Lion King, and it is award winning. It is one of the longest running Broadway shows and is still running today! They have a lot of music that was carried on over to the sequel movie. The Broadway version has a much more African vibe to it.

And the Producers? OMG, it's a Mel Brooks Movie and YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT! My favorite part? Basically its about these two guys who try to over fund a musical, and then try to abscond with the extra money to Rio. They find the offensive script almost get away with the money, but the lead of the play breaks his leg. Their replacement? An openly Gay dance choreographer. Normally that wouldn't be a problem, but...
OMG, I feel so evil posting this:





UGH, ANAKIN IS SUCH A TOOL! And yeah, I guess he can be considered attractive, but ugh his face was in this perpetual state of unpleasantness, like he just sucked on something sour. He has one of those faces that make me want to punch him.
And holy crap Natalie is 34!? she looks 24! She must bathe in the blood of virgins or something, because WOW. Ewan McGregor Looks _fine_ with or without a beard, but I can see his smile better clean shaven. His singing voice though... 

Yeah, I just have been putting myself in as many groups that I fit in as possible. BUT NO ONE EVER POSTS ANYTHING ANYWHERE. Ugh, such a waste of a good resource. It would also be cool if the posting system was more on par with the forums.

The forum idea sounds good, but I don't know if I could keep up talking about something for long! I DUNNO! I also don't know what I would post in the group... I didn't want to make something too lighthearted, because that might take away from the serious part of the group, and I didn't want to start something too serious, because I might be overstepping my boundaries. @[email protected] I just don't know! I am too indecisive when it comes to anything!


----------



## Popinjay

Miniblini said:


> Ugh, I was sick yesterday.... But I am bettrar now! And hey! Finally you have an avatar of someone I know of!
> 
> It seems like everyone but me has been to Mexico!
> 
> And YES i know what a VHS is, I am not THAT much younger (that would be cool if your Mom owned VH1 or TBS)! VHS was actually my families choice of video player for the longest time. Like, way past when DVDs became a thing. I mean, you can practically drop those things on the ground and they'd still work fine. I actually have a VHS/DVD combo player around here somewhere...
> 
> OMG I LOVE THE SWORD IN THE STONE! Even as a child, I remember watching it and thinking "WTF?" though, maybe not those exact words. Archimedes was the shizzle! XD And sleeping beauty was also a great movie (how many disney movies have famous dish washing scenes?)! Watching those movies again as an adult is weird, as there are so many things you don't catch as a child.
> 
> You were 12 in 94'? Woah, that is so weird to think that somebody was sentient during that time! I was like... 5? Ew, I was still a dorky little drooling... SQUISH!
> I don't remember anything before 96'! I couldn't imagine being in the double digits in 94'! the 2000's were weird enough as is! That said, what little of the 90's I do remember, I liked more than the 2000's. Ah, the nostalgia.
> 
> As for Indiana Jones, I re-watched The Temple of Doom in Highschool, and I was still surprised. And Barney? MMMMM yeah, I liked it, but I would never admit it! I remember years and years after they came out with a movie, I remember using my little niece as an excuse to watch it. Ugh, I still feel like a huge dork just thinking about it.
> 
> YEAH! There is a Broadway version of the Lion King, and it is award winning. It is one of the longest running Broadway shows and is still running today! They have a lot of music that was carried on over to the sequel movie. The Broadway version has a much more African vibe to it.
> 
> And the Producers? OMG, it's a Mel Brooks Movie and YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT! My favorite part? Basically its about these two guys who try to over fund a musical, and then try to abscond with the extra money to Rio. They find the offensive script almost get away with the money, but the lead of the play breaks his leg. Their replacement? An openly Gay dance choreographer. Normally that wouldn't be a problem, but...
> OMG, I feel so evil posting this:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> UGH, ANAKIN IS SUCH A TOOL! And yeah, I guess he can be considered attractive, but ugh his face was in this perpetual state of unpleasantness, like he just sucked on something sour. He has one of those faces that make me want to punch him.
> And holy crap Natalie is 34!? she looks 24! She must bathe in the blood of virgins or something, because WOW. Ewan McGregor Looks _fine_ with or without a beard, but I can see his smile better clean shaven. His singing voice though...
> 
> Yeah, I just have been putting myself in as many groups that I fit in as possible. BUT NO ONE EVER POSTS ANYTHING ANYWHERE. Ugh, such a waste of a good resource. It would also be cool if the posting system was more on par with the forums.
> 
> The forum idea sounds good, but I don't know if I could keep up talking about something for long! I DUNNO! I also don't know what I would post in the group... I didn't want to make something too lighthearted, because that might take away from the serious part of the group, and I didn't want to start something too serious, because I might be overstepping my boundaries. @[email protected] I just don't know! I am too indecisive when it comes to anything!


Hope you are feeling better. I've been sick since last Thursday...E-F-F. And now I've changed my avatar again. Do you know Eliza Dushku?

I've only been to Tecate and Tijuana, which are in the desert. They have their charms, however. Other parts of Mexico are far more lush. I was about an hour outside of San Salvador (the most humid place I have ever been...OMG you get off the plane and feel like you are walking in a sauna). Where I was the weather was like the Bay Area...perfect and lots of jungle...very pretty. I suspect El Salvador is safer right now with all the drug cartel problems in Mexico.

I distinctly remember thinking the 5-year old equivalent of "WTF"...perhaps, "Holy smokes!"? XD

I wasn't little in '94 but I was dorky and perhaps drooling. Hahahahahaha...an adult watching Barney...that's almost as bad as when I would watch Blues Clues with my...well, nevermind.

Anything Mel Brooks is by-definition awesome. LOL, that video was awesome.

Ewan McGregor sings???

So I finally had time tonight to go through the other half of the groups (all 16 pages of them) and I'm now in 80 groups...it's so ridiculous. What's scary is I know what they all are. Yeah, the vast, vast majority of them have no discussions or ancient discussions and as we've seen with the Bipolar group, it doesn't notify you. I have to make it a point to check it every few days or else I wouldn't even know.

Okay, if you change your mind and you want me to help keep your thread afloat, JLMK.

Not sure whether you celebrate Christmas so I'll just say Merry Federal Holiday and a Happy Three-Day Weekend!


----------



## Miniblini

Anonymity said:


> Hope you are feeling better. I've been sick since last Thursday...E-F-F. And now I've changed my avatar again. Do you know Eliza Dushku?
> 
> I've only been to Tecate and Tijuana, which are in the desert. They have their charms, however. Other parts of Mexico are far more lush. I was about an hour outside of San Salvador (the most humid place I have ever been...OMG you get off the plane and feel like you are walking in a sauna). Where I was the weather was like the Bay Area...perfect and lots of jungle...very pretty. I suspect El Salvador is safer right now with all the drug cartel problems in Mexico.
> 
> I distinctly remember thinking the 5-year old equivalent of "WTF"...perhaps, "Holy smokes!"? XD
> 
> I wasn't little in '94 but I was dorky and perhaps drooling. Hahahahahaha...an adult watching Barney...that's almost as bad as when I would watch Blues Clues with my...well, nevermind.
> 
> Anything Mel Brooks is by-definition awesome. LOL, that video was awesome.
> 
> Ewan McGregor sings???
> 
> So I finally had time tonight to go through the other half of the groups (all 16 pages of them) and I'm now in 80 groups...it's so ridiculous. What's scary is I know what they all are. Yeah, the vast, vast majority of them have no discussions or ancient discussions and as we've seen with the Bipolar group, it doesn't notify you. I have to make it a point to check it every few days or else I wouldn't even know.
> 
> Okay, if you change your mind and you want me to help keep your thread afloat, JLMK.
> 
> Not sure whether you celebrate Christmas so I'll just say Merry Federal Holiday and a Happy Three-Day Weekend!



I do know Eliza Dushku! She was on Tru calling! That's like 2 for 2... er 2 for however many. But now you are another person.

Urk, the desert. I dislike hot weather so much. Funny, since I live in California. AND HUMID WEATHER IS EVEN WORSE UGH. Florida, mang. It's the worst of both worlds. Did you hear about a leader from one of the drug cartels in Mexico sent the leader of Isis a strongly worded email saying that if they didn't stop destroying their drugs in the Arab countries (because as you know, drugs are a Super no-no in many Islamic nations), they were going to declare War? I wonder what the U.N. would do in that situation. AND I WAS NOT AN ADULT WATCHING BARNEY! I was in junior high. :C Also, blues clues is the shit! I still love Blues clues! 

Yes, Ewan McGregor Sings! He was in Moulin Rouge 



 Ignore Nicole Kidman, she's a spaz in that movie.

I thought about looking through all the groups, but I am lazy so I gave up. I did notice you were in a lot more when I did finally look. But yeah, it sucks that it doesn't notify you about group discussion. I bet if they did implement a notification, groups would be a lot more active and useful! 

And I do infact celebrate Christmas, so happy belated Jesus birth! Also, tell me if you start watching *Rick and Morty* and *Better Off Ted*!


----------



## Popinjay

*December Death*

In sickness lieth bitter still
The frosted bane of winter's chill
Weighs heavy on the trees of spring
Their sullen, dreadful tears to bring

Children laugh and play around
Their mouths let out a happy sound
Young couples walking all alone
In joyous love while heading home

As the night comes closing in
The sting of death is felt within
Warmth of life is far from grasp
Crushing blight will never pass

A light to pierce the sky so dark
Hope is stirred, it softens bark
Clouds will part and there behold
The moon is mocking all below
​


----------



## Popinjay

Chapter 12

In dreamy fondness once visited elegant lanes, the sort lined with picturesque cottages
Walking through enchanted woods pierced with streams of light so bright, they illuminate the blackest of night
Paths painted clear and true on straightened lines in perfect order
Even foolish protagonists can find the road to bliss and steer away from the inexorable pit

Darkness is borne to bear the curse, it strengthens day by day
Seeing now through mirrors dimly, striving to see a path of escape from the foggy sea of emptiness
Drops of rain cease for naught, a clamor pounding with sadness and urgency
It sounds a toll to all who listen, "Run away...escape in fear"

Those growing old can learn the way that humble people live
They rejoice through trial and trouble and retire to bed with a full heart..."it is their portion"
The rich persist in crooked ways, sloth and idle throughout their years
Woefully wailing for all the curses brought upon them, wishing just to sleep when down they lay

No amount of bitter tears can fix what should have been
Once lacking in proper regard for correction
Clawing, crying, screaming still a deafened ear, closed to pleas
Of desperation outside the door

The rich die in vain with no remembrance
Their grave will be covered with cobwebs and moss
But the humble and poor will be in pain no more
Their passing will be celebrated and grieved and all will remember

But there is always hope...​


----------



## Popinjay

*The Nonsensical Woodstove*

Gather round, dearest of children
Let us journey to the land of enchanted simplicity
That country where the very rocks cry out
And the sparrows sing beautiful music
Of ages past when minstrels
Filled the ears of heavenly beings
With songs of heroic battles fought
For courage, for king and country
To win the hand of princess, so fair

This stove, you see, is more than iron and wood
I did more than sit here whilst father read to us
I received more than heat while basking in its warmth
On the coldest of harsh winter nights
When all outside was dead or dying
And all inside was fear and writhing
I received something more

But to venture there you will need a guide
I'll presume to carry you to the place
Where you will see and be spoiled
For all time, you see, springs forth
From the life that lives in the deepest
Of nonsense, a nonsense only you can understand
For each person carries nonsense within them
And this nonsense is what drives them onward
Beautiful, precious, and wondrous
The nonsense is like a perfect ruby
Or sapphire or emerald or onyx
It cannot be traded
For to others it is but worthless dirt
But in the hands of the potter
It is clay to be molded
It is of incomparable value

Through dark and cold tunnels with eerie sounds
And ghosts and goblins all around
So many more, so many others
All clutching their nonsense
It is their most precious possession
Children, see you now, once known
This nonsense is the door to all

Do you see those holding nothing?
Do you see their anguish?
Do you see the bitter tears they cry?
Can you hear them?
You "hear voices of trembling
Of fear and not of peace"
It would sound like a man were in labor
But surely we know that is but true nonsense

Their way has been shut forever
There is no open door for them
Outside are the wailers and the desperate
And the dogs...the wolves who cannot die
Nor can they find food to ease their agony
Their stomachs cry out for something
Their souls cry out for the nonsense
The nonsense they rejected smartly

And yet hope is spoken to those without nonsense
"Though I make a full end of all nations
Whither I have scattered thee
Yet I will not make a full end of thee
But I will correct thee in measure
And will not leave thee altogether unpunished"
"Why criest thou for thine affliction?
Thy sorrow is incurable
For the multitude of thine iniquity
Because thy sins were increased
I have done these things unto thee"

So we speak well of those without nonsense
Perhaps it be that our nonsense is inauthentic
Perhaps it be that we be the ones on flimsy footing

We continue down the tunnel
And into the light that we see, prepared
For those who have endured the darkness and cold
For those who have endured the wilderness that never ended
The warm light has been prepared for all of us
First to the Jew, then to the Gentile
For the nonsense is not a respecter of persons​


----------



## Popinjay

_Leaving

I blink one eye
I blink the other
Never at the same time
I know you would be gone in an instant

Your youthful smile
Is betrayed by the sadness
Your eyes convey
While you laugh at
Inanity...a joke or phrase
I painstakingly assembled
For you and your beautiful, sad eyes

Some would call you a liar
They would say you're insincere
Others that you are a hero
A champion for all women
Aspiring to be a role model
Who has done it all
Made it all
Found it all

You are old..."ever so much more than 20"
Yet you are not...I mean, you're not even as old as I am
But somehow you know, me and you, you and me
Nothing surprises you...I'm surprised every time
I look in your eyes and realize I love you more
Than anyone has ever loved you
When I realize how cold and empty this world is
When I stare at the stars and realize they would
Be lights on a Christmas tree in January
Without your warmth, without the feel of your
Silky skin on my face
The warmth of your breath on my chest
As I kiss your forehead and taste
The meaning of life...the single greatest thing
That nothing else can touch

Holding you in dark silence for a few minutes
Feeling your breath go in and out of your body
Is better than anything...there is nothing
No amount of sex or money or power or stuff
Knowing you are mine and I am yours
Is perfection

So why do you lead me like sheep to the slaughter?
Why? WHY? W-H-Y?
Once hopelessly addicted, you try to cut me loose
Is he REALLY worth it?
Was it THAT good of a fuck?
Is he bigger? Smaller?
Richer? Poorer?
All lies? Maybe you aren't a foul cheater
Maybe you just hate ME
I get it. I'm fucking useless
I confused emotional depth with emotional detachment
You hated me the whole fucking time
You were just waiting for something better to come along
You were just waiting patiently for your exit cue
Yet I'm not surprised

Now you flaunt him
Now you stand on the promenade
You lean on him with one leg bent up and laugh at HIS inanity
He's a dumb fuck...you know it...I know it
Did I screw up? Is this punishment? You can't really be serious
Now he drowns in the sea of hard liquor that is your beauty
Now HE latches onto your lips like a baby to his mother's teat
Now his corroded tongue slides along yours
I wouldn't take you back now if you begged me
(and of course I would...I would faster than the word, "Yes" could come out of my mouth)

Perhaps it's for the best
Perhaps I love loving you and all that nonsense
Maybe you mean nothing to me and never did
Maybe you are a lump of (albeit stunning) flesh that talks and moves sometimes

Maybe I'm not a poet...and maybe you're not a lover_​


----------



## Popinjay

_"Favorite Things"
(Used with Julie's permission)

Smiles and giggles and red all-day lipstick
Free stolen glances and coquettish footsteps
Little black dresses leave little to think
These are a few of my favorite things

Twirling of hair and rubbing of necks
Intentional droppage of irrelevant objects
Far too much makeup but who would complain?
These are a few of my favorite things

When the test's blue
When my ex sues
When I want to fap
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel...like crap_​


----------



## Popinjay

Take and It Shall Be Taken From You

If someone told you they wanted a watch just like yours and you bought them one slightly smaller, you'd think, "Gee fuck...he might not like it." You'd be partially correct. As it would turn out, he wouldn't like it because it's too FUCKING BIG! See, my Burberry unit is 42mm and the Tissot I purchased for him is 39mm, so logically I thought he might feel shortchanged. Nope. He thinks it's way too big compared to his old 36mm Seiko. In the words of the Wedding Singer, that would have been useful information YESTERDAY!

So I inherited a $700.00 watch I bought as a gift. It's nice. In fact, it's nicer than my three other more expensive units. But I wouldn't have wasted $700.00 of my hard-earned money buying one SIMILAR to the ones I already have. I would have either just not spent any money or else gone in the hole a bit and bought something nicer (maybe Cartier...maybe Omega).

What's the moral of the story? DON'T GIVE PEOPLE FUCKING GIFTS!!! GIVE PEOPLE FUCKIN' MONEY!!! People can never come back over and over whining about how heavy the money was or how the money doesn't fit their wardrobe or how they like their money from WW2 better.


----------



## Popinjay

_Voluntarily
(AKA Why Popinjay Takes His Meds)

Fail to seed a guarded sun
Wade in waters' candlelight
Backwards talk won't find the cause
All and often most is won

Flimsy trailing in the time
Smell the rose she dried to keep
Keeping dry willst bake a cake
But finally the drink is brine

Speakest thou...doest thine think?
Triest thou...no one knows
Vanity of vanities
A vote to overturn the brink

Intoxicated by lips like wine
Drive across the desert stoned
A bird in time may stitch the wind
Surely knows that she is mine

Bones sticking out of skin
Dream of years where memory dwells
Beggars and choosers are close to keep
Unquestioned is what lies within

Fallen all have come to bear
Sell the withered rose and thorn
To hearken is to save the way
My soul, my all is all laid bare

Weakened have the fetters come
Lift a jagged rock to those
Better two than one for rest
The billy goats yet have no home

Walkest ye through darkened streets?
Thinkest thou thee thimble three?
Nonsense ramblings lunatics see
Talkest we around the tree

Grounded from your sunful ways
You come to steal a way to stay
My heart is open to you alone
Shant fuckest now the garden gnome

And now my sanity has returned
The rhymes begin to take a turn
Darmok and Jalad can suck the bird
The nonsense ends from this point forward

But once freed I find I miss it all
To have your grip upon my balls
My brain is boring, dumb as fuck
Kick me once, twice, in the nuts
Do I really need these meds?
Do they really make my bed?
Am I better...am I worse?
Am I verbose...am I terse?
Am I worth a second's time?
Would Stephanie even recognize my mind?
As she returns to run the show
Will your so-called "treatment" make me blow?
Eff to that...eff to me...eff to all this nonsensee
We'll see what Stephanie has to say
She gets dibs...she gets her way

Oh fuck, Zyprexa, I remember now
That's why I take you...that's why I bow
'Cuz I get kinda cuckoo and act like a cunt
Not 'cuz I'm a d-bag...just 'cuz I'm out of my fucking skull

And I have no idea what this poem was about now.

_​


----------



## PariahParty

Daphne

Diaphanous symphony, whispered through the laurel tree
Slowly stirs its leaves to sing
Ladon’s flowing elegy, finer than what man can see
Flies on zephyr’s flimsy wings

Light and airy tune turns dark, sound cascading on scored bark
Marked her like a taken thing
Light rescinds its slow advance, wind now wearied of its dance
Laurel tree scraped and cringing

The chase took place so long ago, when spite took flight from lovelorn bow
Goading gods made love their king
Passions’ primacy assured, one would think all ails were cured
But that tear-salt sap still stings


----------



## Popinjay

*Hate

*Deeper still and twice as shrill
The feelings run so deep they drill
In skull of one who's fun is done
In wicker baskets come undone

If Snoop and 50 could steal this crack
They'd smoke it like a chimney stack

Forgive your deed you've come to beg
I'd say no way you leg of peg
To settle on a punishment say
Neighborly neighbors can't find their ways

To end this blog of endless flog
I'll open up the shrouded bog
To cruise on waves of gnawing pain
Or end it all with pills insane


----------



## Popinjay

_I just really like this font

Time to passeth thine way in time.
'Tis beauty standing in mine way.
Yester-year has gone to fears.
Why shouldst I forbear 'tis mine?

Tasting two of thine and thine
Shows now is what I hadst to prove.
Though thou voice doeth pierce my heart,
Thou only hurts thineself, in part.

The warmth of touch of female breath,
The cold of touch of welcome death.
Goest down to nature's cave.
Goest now to darkest lake.
_


----------



## Popinjay

_Wobbly_

I haven't figured out just yet the reason why I do
There are no ways to settle on the motives why I move
A certain way, a certain time, to plow throughout the yard
Spaghetti sauce and Parmesan are sitting in the barn
They're sitting in the barn...they're sitting in the barn
Just sitting in the barn...tapping, tapping, torn
A certain way, a certain time, to plow throughout my brain
Green moss and dental floss are weeping down the drain
They're weeping down the drain...they're weeping down the drain
Oh just freaking weeping down the drain...they're weeping, weeping, weeping
Walking through the doorway's door their spots a rocking chair
Weaseled walking weaker willed we want what we will weave
Want what we will weave...want what we will weave...want what we will weave
The old creaking wheel, he says it well, "You'll want what you will weave"
Hot damn I want what I will weave! Fuck I want what I will weave!


----------



## Popinjay

The Dopamine Man

Grinning goblins giggle glee
Spinning melons mingle free
Don't eat the cheese it's all a trap
Just eat the beans within your lap

Ephraim travels to and fro
To Assyria he dares to go
Judah's gluttony seeks a high
Only finding pain is nigh

 The ice cream bowl will save the day
Forestall a penance, keep it at bay
But ultimately the shun will find
The ring of power shant be mine
*
Rejected still, no rest for me
Crushed, bruised, broken like a reed
Cries for mercy as I bleed
But all the more the pain is meet*
​


----------



## Popinjay

Redacted


----------



## Popinjay

Self-Esteem

Hidden goblins live in the faces of everyone I know
Voices without sound speak true lies in my ears
It does not let up or go away
It is my closest companion

For every accomplishment, it is there to remind me
"You are still worthless" "You are still nothing"
For every warm word of encouragement, it says
"They did not mean it" "They're trying to get rid of you"

For every smile from a girl, it is there to slap me on the back
"She's just being nice" "She wouldn't go out with you for all the money in the world"
And when a girl does go out with me,
"She wants your money" "She wants a green card"

The goblins are guardians of reality
They make certain I do not lose myself in fantasies
Fantasies of happiness or fulfillment
They remind me that behind every smile is a frown
Behind every kind word is sarcasm
And behind every generous deed is malevolence
Nothing good can happen or will ever happen to me

​


----------



## Popinjay

The Annexed

"Three floors, no more"
Said the priest to me
"The tower of wood
And rock shall be"

A room for every story not told
A harbor for every sheep out of fold

Great stories told of daring deeds
Heroes living in her wings
And truest love and righteous word
Will be the lining of this ward

As is the case with all who see
Such days and live to tell
Times do change and season's bane
Destroy the joy of well

In time the stench grows as rodents feed
On the lost dreams of ones who've come
The moldy moss climbs up the wall
As hearts are come undone

But the light begins to penetrate
The windows fogged with scum
New life is seen filling the halls
Of what once was done

The glory days have returned
And all will see the light
Thankfulness for cherished times
A savior from the blight

Years go by and the light grows dim
As hallways lined with doors
Are once again the dreariness
That overcomes the poor

What once was great and true
Has come unto a bend
Like all good things
The time has come to end

Now we scatter never knowing where to go
Ousted from the only home that we've ever known
And finally the heroes of the day
Are no one, pathetic, and lost along the way
​


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