# Fe and a social variant



## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

It seems like Fe and a social variant would correlate. Fe is involves reaching out to many in a group, and so does a social variant. Anyone else see my point of view?


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

they're definitely correlated


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

I know we talked about it earlier today. I want to say what others say.


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## Jamie.Ether (Jul 1, 2011)

I would agree. My mom and boyfriend are both Fe dominant and probably So dominant.


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## Bumblyjack (Nov 18, 2011)

My mom is Fe dominant (ESFJ) and she's an So/Sx phobic 6w7. Not too many surprises there.

My brother, however, is also Fe dominant (ENFJ) and he's an Sp/Sx 9w1. He has the same instinct variant and primary enneagram type as his ISFP fiancee and our INFP grandmother. Sp/Sx definitely seems like a strange stacking for an Fe-dom.


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

Bumblyjack said:


> My mom is Fe dominant (ESFJ) and she's an So/Sx phobic 6w7. Not too many surprises there.
> 
> My brother, however, is also Fe dominant (ENFJ) and he's an Sp/Sx 9w1. He has the same instinct variant and primary enneagram type as his ISFP fiancee and our INFP grandmother. Sp/Sx definitely seems like a strange stacking for an Fe-dom.


Yes, Fe and SP/SX don't seem to mix well.


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

Fe and being social variant uuuuuuuuu~~~~~~~~

I'm Social variant and don't use Fe much. Ofc I see societies values and...>) and I love to shoot them full of holes where I disagree. Whats the point of having such a focus when you don't rebel against all the crap and idiocy today's society vomits into your head all day?! \o/ people have a right to question crappy values and ideas, stupid traditions etc! XD

You don't get to start another crappy stereotype on my watch! XD go to the toilet!!  so full of.......

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

I've met several Fe-auxiliary and Fe-dominant people with sp/sx and sx/sp stacks. They simply apply their Fe on individual level instead of group level. Fe is not group-think or group-feel!!!

I think most famous Fe-auxiliary on this board who was also so-last is Carl Jung. There are many passages in his writing where he is dismissive and devaluing of group experiences in favor of individual experiences. His focus was also on exploring the individual's psyche, which is what I find with other so-last Fe types: their Fe focuses on individuals.


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## SilentScream (Mar 31, 2011)

I seem like an so on this forum, but IRL I'm definitely sx/sp. I don't like socializing much. In fact, I've never had more than 3-4 good friends. I prefer a few extremely close friendships over many not-so-close ones. 

Fe dominance isn't about making social connections and being sociable. It's about processing ones own decisions and conclusions after considering the feelings of others. Nowhere does it say that extroverted feeling is about making tons of social connections.


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

Jawz said:


> I seem like an so on this forum, but IRL I'm definitely sx/sp. I don't like socializing much. In fact, I've never had more than 3-4 good friends. I prefer a few extremely close friendships over many not-so-close ones.
> 
> Fe dominance isn't about making social connections and being sociable. It's about processing ones own decisions and conclusions after considering the feelings of others. Nowhere does it say that extroverted feeling is about making tons of social connections.


-.- being So isn't necesseraly about being social...why don't people understand that? \o/ what is so hard in getting it strait, that So means the focus of attention is on "social stuff". (groups, government, society, the species, structure, group dynamics etc) <---it doesen't mean I want to be part of it thou.

*shrug* I'm really sure that I have even less of a social need then you Jawz, few close friends and that is it. I'm mostly asocial and don't trust groups...definately don't network or anything like that either. Does that make me SP? <.< no it doesen't because I don't manifest that type of focus.


XD well either that or I'm not So. <.< in fact I don't consider groups to be safe, constantly feel disconnected and like I don't belong, I'd sooner start a revolution or tear down a group then join any ...^^; I invite anyone to prove to me that I'm not So first haha.


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## Sonny (Oct 14, 2008)

Jawz said:


> I seem like an so on this forum, but IRL I'm definitely sx/sp.


Dude you definitely come across as a Sx dom imo. You have intensity and passion that comes out clearly.


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

Sonny said:


> Dude you definitely come across as a Sx dom imo. You have intensity and passion that comes out clearly.


All you have to do is look at @Jawz avatars to figure out that he's SX first. It's really not that hard.


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

Rim said:


> -.- being So isn't necesseraly about being social...why don't people understand that? \o/ what is so hard in getting it strait, that So means the focus of attention is on "social stuff". (groups, government, society, the species, structure, group dynamics etc) <---it doesen't mean I want to be part of it thou.
> 
> *shrug* I'm really sure that I have even less of a social need then you Jawz, few close friends and that is it. I'm mostly asocial and don't trust groups...definately don't network or anything like that either. Does that make me SP? <.< no it doesen't because I don't manifest that type of focus.
> 
> ...


Yes, but I thought that people that were social first were able to make many social connections easily?


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

The Great One said:


> Yes, but I thought that people that were social first were able to make many social connections easily?


I suck at that sort of thing and I'm glad that despite my inability to "be friendly and affectionate" with people, others still seem to like me. Apart from my family I have only one person I can be completely open with, my first ex. She and I get along amazingly and somehow managed to stay friends even after so many years. There is no one else in real life to whom I am close to. I keep most people at a distance and have no real need to "be social" or to "maintain a network of people". I prefer it like this, others are too bothersome most of the time and the connections end up being too shallow for my tastes....sadly. (I'm not saying others are shallow, don't misunderstand they are not).


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

Rim said:


> I suck at that sort of thing and I'm glad that despite my inability to "be friendly and affectionate" with people, others still seem to like me. Apart from my family I have only one person I can be completely open with, my first ex. She and I get along amazingly and somehow managed to stay friends even after so many years. There is no one else in real life to whom I am close to. I keep most people at a distance and have no real need to "be social" or to "maintain a network of people". I prefer it like this, others are too bothersome most of the time and the connections end up being too shallow for my tastes....sadly. (I'm not saying others are shallow, don't misunderstand they are not).


This doesn't sound social first at all to me. You sound SP/SX or vice versa.


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

The Great One said:


> This doesn't sound social first at all to me. You sound SP/SX or vice versa.


Hmm well yeah the only 2 options would be Sp/Sx or So/Sx, the others don't really fit at all. Other Sp first 6-es seem to be more on the selfish and grounded side of things thou and as they said when I thought I was Sp/Sx..."Rim you have a social vibe about you." 

The instinctuals for me were always something difficult to decide on, because I do all 3 depending on circumstances. Sx was the only constant as in I don't believe it being primary, but it is important enough not to be last either.

The question is: are my asocial tendencies SP or So? My attention is clearly always on social stuff, thus the anxiety and dislike of what I'm seeing maybe as someone who prefers Fi. I never hid the fact that I'm disappointed by society/humanity in general most of the time, which is why I prefer to isolate interaction to specific individuals I like . Also the ideals are what count, not the members who so often fall short of them.


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## unico (Feb 3, 2011)

Bumblyjack said:


> My mom is Fe dominant (ESFJ) and she's an So/Sx phobic 6w7. Not too many surprises there.
> 
> My brother, however, is also Fe dominant (ENFJ) and he's an Sp/Sx 9w1. He has the same instinct variant and primary enneagram type as his ISFP fiancee and our INFP grandmother. Sp/Sx definitely seems like a strange stacking for an Fe-dom.


I'm an sp/sx 4w3 INFJ and it is weird, but I have strong Fe (desiring group harmony, wanting to help people, wanting the conversation to go smoothly, etc.) and very low so (no interest in social hierarchies, not caring much what others think of me, not knowing my place within a group or caring about it, etc.)


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## Dark Romantic (Dec 27, 2011)

What I want to know is, what's the difference between someone with rather strong Fe, and someone with a strong social variant? Shouldn't the two be almost directly correlated? Or, is it simply due to the fact that So doesn't necessarily imply empathy and actual caring about others' emotions, and Fe doesn't necessarily mean that the person is going to notice and be interested in social dynamics, hierarchies, or have an orientation towards society in general?


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## unico (Feb 3, 2011)

Dark Romantic said:


> What I want to know is, what's the difference between someone with rather strong Fe, and someone with a strong social variant? Shouldn't the two be almost directly correlated? Or, is it simply due to the fact that So doesn't necessarily imply empathy and actual caring about others' emotions, and Fe doesn't necessarily mean that the person is going to notice and be interested in social dynamics, hierarchies, or have an orientation towards society in general?


I think your last sentence sums it up from what I understand of Fe vs. So. I've gone through this discussion with a friend trying to understand how I could be sp/sx and have strong Fe.


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## Sonny (Oct 14, 2008)

Rim said:


> -.- being So isn't necesseraly about being social...why don't people understand that? \o/ what is so hard in getting it strait, that So means the focus of attention is on "social stuff". (groups, government, society, the species, structure, group dynamics etc) <---it doesen't mean I want to be part of it thou.
> 
> *shrug* I'm really sure that I have even less of a social need then you Jawz, few close friends and that is it. I'm mostly asocial and don't trust groups...definately don't network or anything like that either. Does that make me SP? <.< no it doesen't because I don't manifest that type of focus.
> 
> ...


Well maybe you're not, but the thing is So types are the ones who will tend to be both social and anti-social.

For Sp doms they tend to be cautious and self-destructive, while Sx can be abstinent and promiscuous.

So sure So doesn't mean social, it can also mean anti-social at the same time.

Comes back to what your focus is.



The Great One said:


> Yes, but I thought that people that were social first were able to make many social connections easily?


The anti-social bent of So doms can throw things right out of whack. There can be a great need for social connection and inclusion, as well as a fear of not belonging, but when the anti-social aspect is in control, which isn't pleasant for So doms, social connections can feel non-existent or fall-apart.

I can relate to some of what Rim has posted, I crave social interaction and connections to a group but I'm constantly disappointed by how shallow it can all be, even though on some level I reject too much intensity after a while, so I withdraw socially. I'm constantly flipping back and forth between social and anti-social, of course I cannot feel satisfied while being anti-social. For a long time I decided that kind of anti-social bent meant I must be Sp dom, but reality is I care nothing for basic needs and security, and I don't struggle with switching between caution and self-destructive.


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