# SJs: Do you resonate with these problems of your personality?



## wanderingfox (Aug 20, 2015)

I've been writing a book on how personality plays a role in health habits and behaviors. In each chapter, I discuss the strengths and weaknesses of each temperament. I want to be sure my assumptions resonate with people of that personality type. These "pitfalls" can play out in your regular life too, not just in your behaviors surrounding diet and exercise. Please let me know how on target I am, or if I've completely missed the mark!

*SJ Trouble Spots*

*1. "Shoulding" on Themselves* SJs have a strong sense of what is right and wrong, and consequently are firm in their “shoulds” and “should nots.” Comes from a place of guilt. 


*2. Being too much of a perfectionist* Feel that if they can't follow their diet or exercise plan perfectly, they might as well not do it at all. 

*3. Taking on too many responsibilities* Guilty of having "too much on their plate," in both the literal and figurative sense!  Feel like it's their duty to take on jobs and responsibilities, leaving no time to themselves. 

*4. Forming unhealthy habits* SJs are creatures of habit. If they get into a routine, it's not easy for them to change. Maybe that habit is coming home after work and snacking on chips or cookies. Once it's in place, it's hard to break.

If these don't apply, please add what you struggle with when it comes to forming healthy habits, or why you resist changing. Thanks for the help! 
​


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## Candy Apple (Sep 10, 2015)

No, none of these resonate with me.

1. If I have a strong conviction on what is right I'll follow that with little effort... I don't catch myself saying I should really be doing this or that.

2. Nope

3. I've always had a pretty good gauge on what I'm able to do and how many responsibilities I can take on. I never feel like it's my "duty" to take on a job (like I'm forced to do it, no alternative). If I feel like I have a strength in doing a certain thing and I have time and resources for it I will, if I feel like I'm inadequate for it I won't do it, even if no one else steps in to do it.

There are times where I take on a lot of tasks, where I do think it would be better if other people shared in doing them. I usually won't have much spare time to myself but... I don't do it out of duty. I do it because I enjoy it, in some way or another... or see that it'll help accomplish my goal, which would make me happy.

4. I personally don't think I'm more susceptible to forming unhealthy habits than other people. Liking routine is one thing, unhealthy is another. Just the way I see it.

What I struggle with when it comes to forming healthy habits... I guess if I'm lacking information? Don't know what steps to take?

Resist change in general? If I don't see the point in a change or what benefits the change will bring I won't like it since I like things to be practical. I don't like people suggesting different ways to do things if they don't bother coming up with steps to turn those thoughts into actions. If they don't want to make those steps, they can delegate it to someone who will, like me, then that will be okay.


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## jcal (Oct 31, 2013)

wanderingfox said:


> *SJ Trouble Spots*
> 
> *1. "Shoulding" on Themselves* SJs have a strong sense of what is right and wrong, and consequently are firm in their “shoulds” and “should nots.” Comes from a place of guilt.
> 
> ...



*"Shoulding" -* Yes, this occurs, but it is our strength and hardly a "trouble spot", particularly since our convictions come, not from whim or fancy, but from careful analysis of our choices and their consequences. Where does guilt even begin to enter into this?
*"Perfectionism"* - Definitely not in the context you've presented. More than anything we're pragmatic... pragmatic perfectionism translates into getting as much as possible from whatever resources we have available. When it's time to move ahead we will move ahead with the best of what we have at hand and will take whatever benefit we can get from it.
*"Responsibilities"* - For me personally, this is one I can relate to. It is very easy for me to overlook my own well being relative to the commitments I've made to those individuals or organizations I've committed myself to.
*"Habits/Routine/Resistance to Change"* - No, no, no... a thousand freakin' times NO! Awful stereotype that is always applied to us completely out of context. Our nature is actually to be constantly analyzing processes and seeking improvements... but we're a cautious lot and will prefer incremental change that can be vetted, implemented and tested safely and without jeopardizing what we already have. If you throw out ten suggested changes to us, if you expect us to jump up and down with excitement as soon as we here them come from your lips, you will be disappointed. However, please don't read that as "resistance". Allow us time to consider your suggestions, prioritize them and implement them incrementally, in an manner that maintains safety and stability and you will learn the difference between caution and resistance.


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## wanderingfox (Aug 20, 2015)

yay said:


> No, none of these resonate with me.


So, if none of these resonate, what would you consider your "trouble spots" to actually be?


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## Goya (Nov 26, 2015)

1. I think I'm more in the gray area. Like I might feel strongly about what I want for myself, but it's not a "this is right, that is wrong". I do feel pressure of "at this age I should be having a stable job" or "I should go and travel the world, live new experiences". 

2. Mm not that much, I wouldn't really call myself a perfectionist in that way. Sometimes I do want to excel if I'm good at something, but I'm usually ok with just trying my best. 

3. Definitely no. I'm not interested in taking extra responsabilities.

4. I would agree with forming habits, but unhealthy? Not so much, in fact I like forming healthy habits.

I don't know if others are like me, but I find one of my weakest spots to be indecision.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

wanderingfox said:


> I've been writing a book on how personality plays a role in health habits and behaviors. In each chapter, I discuss the strengths and weaknesses of each temperament. I want to be sure my assumptions resonate with people of that personality type. These "pitfalls" can play out in your regular life too, not just in your behaviors surrounding diet and exercise. Please let me know how on target I am, or if I've completely missed the mark!
> 
> *SJ Trouble Spots*
> 
> ...


speaking from an observer's perspective.
1) yes
2) yes
3) yes
4) not usually, no


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## jamaix (Sep 20, 2013)

wanderingfox said:


> I've been writing a book on how personality plays a role in health habits and behaviors. In each chapter, I discuss the strengths and weaknesses of each temperament. I want to be sure my assumptions resonate with people of that personality type. These "pitfalls" can play out in your regular life too, not just in your behaviors surrounding diet and exercise. Please let me know how on target I am, or if I've completely missed the mark!
> 
> *SJ Trouble Spots*
> 
> ...


For the poll I chose being too much of a perfectionist, I'll expand more on that in a bit.



> *1. "Shoulding" on Themselves*SJs have a strong sense of what is right and wrong, and consequently are firm in their “shoulds” and “should nots.” Comes from a place of guilt.​


Yes but...
I do have a strong sense of what is right and wrong, but I am not unwilling to listen to viewpoints that are contrary to my own if there is a good reason to. I am more likely to listen to someone who I respect and whose viewpoints I hold in high regard. I am also more likely to pay attention to someone who can lay out a logical argument not based upon feelings and personal biases.

I don't understand what you mean when you says comes from a place of guilt?



> *2. Being too much of a perfectionist*Feel that if they can't follow their diet or exercise plan perfectly, they might as well not do it at all.​


I hate making mistakes. I sometimes spend inordinate amounts of time trying to make the perfect choice, determine the perfect answer, etc. The problem with this is that there is seldom a perfect choice or answer. This sometimes causes me to have problems making a decision. So in that sense I am definitely too much of a perfectionist. However, this does not stop me from trying. So I can't relate to the idea that I might as well not try at all if I can't get it perfect. 


> *3. Taking on too many responsibilities*Guilty of having "too much on their plate," in both the literal and figurative sense!  Feel like it's their duty to take on jobs and responsibilities, leaving no time to themselves.​


Not really. I don't take on anything that I don't think I can complete in the expected manner. I am unlikely to volunteer for things so I seldom end up with more than I can handle. When someone ask for a volunteer my hand is not the first to go up. I wait to hear what the request is before I volunteer for anything.


> *4. Forming unhealthy habits*SJs are creatures of habit. If they get into a routine, it's not easy for them to change. Maybe that habit is coming home after work and snacking on chips or cookies. Once it's in place, it's hard to break.​


This is somewhat true for me at times. I've developed a really bad habit of staying up too late. I know that as a result of not getting enough sleep I am often fatigued and fail to keep on top of things like I should.



> If these don't apply, please add what you struggle with when it comes to forming healthy habits, or why you resist changing. Thanks for the help! ​


I don't resist or dislike change, but I don't like change for the sake of it. I need to be able to see a good reason for changing. If there is a good reason, I will work to make the necessary changes. 



Good luck with your book!


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## Siriusly McGonagall (Jan 3, 2018)

Kind of and Not really I choose perfectionism mYself. It just usually takes me more time. It gets done but it is more combed over then ever.


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## JamesCollector (Jan 21, 2018)

wanderingfox said:


> *1. "Shoulding" on Themselves* SJs have a strong sense of what is right and wrong, and consequently are firm in their “shoulds” and “should nots.” Comes from a place of guilt.


I have a strong sense that most of what society considers "wrong" doesn't matter. When I acknowledge that I do "wrong" things, I mean that I know society considers them wrong, not that I do. I don't feel guilty about anything I do. Does my strong sense that wrongs aren't actually that wrong count?



> *2. Being too much of a perfectionist* Feel that if they can't follow their diet or exercise plan perfectly, they might as well not do it at all.


I'm a perfectionist about my robotics work, but the idea of not doing it at all if I make a mistake seems irrational.



> *3. Taking on too many responsibilities* Guilty of having "too much on their plate," in both the literal and figurative sense!  Feel like it's their duty to take on jobs and responsibilities, leaving no time to themselves.


I can't relate to this. I'm relaxed.



> *4. Forming unhealthy habits* SJs are creatures of habit. If they get into a routine, it's not easy for them to change. Maybe that habit is coming home after work and snacking on chips or cookies. Once it's in place, it's hard to break.


I tended to get fixated on things once I work on them. When my INFP roommate questioned one of my bad habits, my answer was that it's formulaic, I like it, and I'm good at it. It's easy. Since only society considers it "bad", I don't see any reason to change it. I don't know if this counts as "hard to break" since I've never actually tried to break it. Maybe it does.

I struggle most with understanding emotions and empathizing. I never used to think there was any reason to change this, but now that my roommate has given me a reason, I've found it hard. But I think this might be irrelevant to the topic because it's more about lack of ability, not breaking a habit.


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## ISTJ_1x2 (Jan 18, 2018)

@wanderingfox

*1. "Shoulding" on Themselves*
I have a very strong sense of good from bad, but I’ve never said "you should be doing this" to myself. I think this is a very true statement but it’s also very subconscious, at least for Si doms, so I’m not sure if it would make readers say "oh, that’s me". I do feel guilt quite often, even over things that I should have enjoyed and that were completely fine. I just overthink things 20x too much _after_ something has happened. 

*2. Being too much of a perfectionist *
Most SJs are realists, so we have a good grasp of what we can realistically achieve. If we feel that we aren’t doing things up to standard, or to the best of our ability / potential, _then_ we might give up. The reason so many SJs are stereotyped to be perfectionistic is because the standard they set for themselves is sometimes perfection, not because we’re all perfectionistic by nature. I've personally given up lots of things that I enjoy doing because I didn’t have the time and energy to do them up to the standards I met previously. Actually, I was a medal-winning track athlete and always had a lot of fun competing, but after better athletes came along and I wasn’t getting medals anymore (which I knew was the best I could do) so I stopped competing.

*3. Taking on too many responsibilities *
I don’t think this is an issue for me. STJs are great at prioritizing, so I rarely feel like I have too much on my plate because I know what activities to get rid of. This can become an issue if diet or exercise is low on my priority list, which would mean I’d likely cut them out of my life until I have more time /energy.

*4. Forming unhealthy habits*
100% this one! I’ve bit my nails since the first grade, squeezed my pores and pimples every night since I was 12, and binged on junk food every time I get stressed. Definitely emphasize positive habit-forming and putting diet / exercise into their routine if you’re talking to SJs!

Another tip: 
Try to subtly have the readers think about what’s worked for them in the past. You’re probably a smart gal so I don’t need to lecture you on Si, but really appeal to that if you’re targeting its users.


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