# Name something you thought, felt, or did today, and why it relates to your type



## 7rr7s (Jun 6, 2011)

When I was not doing well at my job, I made it a point to stick around after everyone had left to help out at the office. I made it a point to give talks at meetings that over delivered, made it a point to excel in some area where everyone else lacked. I made it a point to befriend everyone on the team and establish myself as someone important -someone to talk to, a mentor, a friend, an authority on some area they wished to learn about. I did not want to feel worthless, and considering I was the one who had been there the longest, I didn't want to look like I wasn't pulling my weight. 




A problem comes up? Let me formulate a game plan. The best plans come to me when I'm not thinking about them. Sounds like a good time to watch a movie, go to a party, go have a good meal, go on a spontaneous adventure, dive into a new book, obsess about a learning a new hobby, make a castle out of play dough AKA anything except the problem (as one last hurrah incase shit really hits the fan and the plan never comes to me). Surprisingly this actually has a decent success ratio as solutions often arise after I take a step back from it all.


Edit: As for something I did today, I was writing a letter to a friend. I knew what I wanted to say, and it was honest, but it took a long time for me to write it because I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted to say what I had to say in the most elegant way possible. Even after I wrote it and reread it later, I wanted to tear it up because I found a better way to say the last sentence. But I didn't, because everything else was up to my standards. 

This is probably not how most people write letters, especially if they are not Writers. Or 3s.


----------



## Fern (Sep 2, 2012)

"Stop yelling."

Need I say more? Inner peace.


----------



## leafling (Dec 15, 2011)

kaleidoscope said:


> This is more 7 fixed than anything else, but I was thinking about my future plans.. and I realized just how much I was just doing whatever was necessary to be able to have fun, have some leisure time, and basically *play*. The entire purpose of having a career, finding a good job, having a stable income, is so I can sit back and have a good time, travel, have all sorts of experiences and live my life. I don't particularly care about success for the sake of success. I just want to be comfortable enough to indulge myself freely.





Bluity said:


> My self-indulgence and preoccupation with my body I attribute to being an SP-dom. I'm sensitive to lights and sounds, and very finicky to what kind of objects I want in my house. I have a mental image of what I want my future house to look like, and I can tell you what foods will be in the fridge, what kind of countertops I want in the kitchen, the types of soaps I will use, and the kind of pillows and comforters I will sleep with. When I write it out like this it almost looks compulsive, and it kinda is, because this future house will be my refuge and I want to control everything that comes in. No gifts from family, no freebies from the office, nothing will enter my house unless it fits my scheme.
> 
> I plan on living alone, and everything I do is to shore up enough time and money to do what I want, without obligation. I want to explore all my hobbies, take several courses, travel. This is fun to me. I'm under the (perhaps misguided) assumption that if I had enough money I'd set out and tackle the world.





kaleidoscope said:


> @_Bluity_
> 
> I also imagine for fun what my house would look like, but it's very very vague, and I would probably be too lazy to actually go through with it. The only thing I'm truly excited about is colors. I want colors everywhere. I want creamy yellow kitchen walls, a purple/grey bedroom, etc. It adds so much warmth! I'm also really picky about the lighting. Dim lighting is my favorite thing in the world. Besides that, I don't really think about this stuff much.


I do this too! All I want is to be happy doing my own thing, enjoying the things I enjoy, having fun! I don't care for success the way most people around me seem to care about it. I only want two things in a job: A stable job & decent income and for it to be meaningful. If I'm going to slave away for my livelihood, it better be meaningful. 

I totally dream of my future house all the time. I dream of decorating it, with lots of colors, too! It'll be my haven, my safe place, my source of peace and inspiration. I don't have an exact map of how it will be in my mind, but I have a general idea. I love going shopping and seeing things like, "Oh, that would look so great in my future kitchen!" "Omg when I get my own place, I am so buying these pillows." etc. 

Ahh, and I just dream of lying down on my comfy sofa with a book in one hand and a drink in the other. Gah. Daydreams...


----------



## leafling (Dec 15, 2011)

I just hung up on my internet provider. They were offering me a better plan, and right when I was agreeing to it and giving my info, I suddenly doubted their legitimacy and hung up.

Oops.


----------



## Figure (Jun 22, 2011)

Marlowe said:


> Double checked the tone of my emails to clients before sending out. Or is that too drab an example?


Not necessarily, it could be an interesting key-in for type 3. 

Was there anything specific that made you want to go back and check what you wrote, or would you say it's more of a habit you've gotten yourself into?


----------



## Bluity (Nov 12, 2012)

KindOfBlue06 said:


> When I was not doing well at my job, I made it a point to stick around after everyone had left to help out at the office.
> 
> I did not want to feel worthless, and considering I was the one who had been there the longest, I didn't want to look like I wasn't pulling my weight.


I see myself in this. Not doing your job well has to be the worst feeling. For me, it comes in three stages: Doing well at my job; doing poorly at my job, and compensating by doing well at everyone else's job; and quitting. Stage two and three come very abruptly. One moment, I'm being helpful and doing little things around the office to distract everyone from the fact that I'm not doing what I need to do, and in the next I'm suddenly handing you my resignation. If I don't have a niche, I can't function.



> Edit: As for something I did today, I was writing a letter to a friend. I knew what I wanted to say, and it was honest, but it took a long time for me to write it because I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted to say what I had to say in the most elegant way possible. Even after I wrote it and reread it later, I wanted to tear it up because I found a better way to say the last sentence. But I didn't, because everything else was up to my standards.


This is how I write letters. If I make a PerC post that's more than a paragraph, guaranteed it took me an hour or so to write it. It has to have the right cadence, the right word choice, the right flow. The both purpose is both aesthetic and functional. People will understand you more if you take the time to write clearly and cleanly.


----------



## Echoe (Apr 23, 2012)

Well, I'm BSing at PerC and reading other topics of interest instead of studying for a test. As too usual (or "usually"?), I've not been rolling my day out as planned, lol.


Oh, and yesterday I had an anger-swell at someone being a bit disrespectful a few times and I internally griped about them being an arrogant and petty arse, then I made myself let it go because I felt I was being kind of petty too (even if only in monologue) and that the amount of emotion I was having seemed immature (I regard health and functionality concerns here too).


----------



## 7rr7s (Jun 6, 2011)

Bluity said:


> I see myself in this. Not doing your job well has to be the worst feeling. For me, it comes in three stages: Doing well at my job; doing poorly at my job, and compensating by doing well at everyone else's job; and quitting. Stage two and three come very abruptly. One moment, I'm being helpful and doing little things around the office to distract everyone from the fact that I'm not doing what I need to do, and in the next I'm suddenly handing you my resignation. If I don't have a niche, I can't function.
> 
> *Good point. I actually took some time off myself because I didn't want people to see me like that. *
> 
> ...


I do that too, I plan out what I'm going to say unless it's something silly.


----------



## The Scorched Earth (May 17, 2010)

kaleidoscope said:


> *Step 1 - Longing & Envy:* "This person writes so brilliantly. Look how fluent and eloquent they are.. I wish I was like that. I'm so normal and bland."
> 
> *Step 2 - Attempt at introjection: *"Maybe if I just read a lot of things they wrote.." *stalks*
> 
> *Step 3 - Resignation to Authenticity: *"No! I have to stop doing this! I have to be satisfied with who I am. STOP IT, KALEI!"


Yeah, this pretty much.


----------



## HighClassSavage (Nov 29, 2012)

Yesterday, I got into an argument with my Mother and smashed her bedroom window with my fist. I don't always lash out with irrational aggression. but when I do, it's never a pretty sight. Don't underestimate a 9 at their breaking point; we're fucking walking volcanoes.


----------



## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

kaleidoscope said:


> *Step 1 - Longing & Envy:* "This person writes so brilliantly. Look how fluent and eloquent they are.. I wish I was like that. I'm so normal and bland."
> 
> *Step 2 - Attempt at introjection: *"Maybe if I just read a lot of things they wrote.." *stalks*
> 
> *Step 3 - Resignation to Authenticity: *"No! I have to stop doing this! I have to be satisfied with who I am. STOP IT, KALEI!"


:laughing: I've had moments similar to that, except instead of worrying about being authentic, I realize it's just boring to copy someone else.


----------



## 0+n*1 (Sep 20, 2013)

Considering this issue is common in my life, I think I am maybe a 6w7. This is an example of my 4 fix too.

I was in this website and I was filling out my profile information and most of the time I think I am so uninteresting and that I have too much I haven't experienced.

Filling out the most personal areas of a profile like what I'm doing with my life, what I'm good at or the things that make me distinctive are painful to do. But even the least personal are painful like favorite books, movies, etc and how I spend my time (hobbies, leisure) that are commonly not accomplishments and just putting off the "important stuff". I think I spend a lot of time regretting all the things I haven't experienced and how many changes I need to make to my life and I'm both afraid of not changing and ashamed of not making anything to change it and not having changed already, which is also a sign of my 9 inaction and procrastination. I think about all the books I haven't read and how stupid and illiterate I feel. I don't deserve to be called cultured or intellectual. I think about all those movies I haven't watched. I know nothing about general culture and I can't talk with friends about anything. All the profound revelations they've got by being exposed to media, I haven't had them. Then I think about all the things I can't relate to or identify with because I was living in a cave. Doing nothing. Just rotting. And all these things aren't helping and won't. I'm unemployed. I should be looking for a way to be independent. I feel not only this but also giving in and up. I see a bleak future. That's my thought process. Tinted with fear of becoming stagnant and becoming slavish or conformist and with tons of negative comparisons. And still pretty still and, like still waters, pretty filthy.


----------



## meridannight (Nov 23, 2012)

Marlowe said:


> Double checked the tone of my emails to clients before sending out. Or is that too drab an example?


emails have a tone? ......


i had this corporate cash that was given into my possession for a while. i spent that thing on myself today.


----------



## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

meridannight said:


> emails have a tone? ......
> 
> 
> i had this corporate cash that was given into my possession for a while. i spent that thing on myself today.


Yup. Same way Hamlet reads different from A Midsummer Night's Dream.


----------



## meridannight (Nov 23, 2012)

Marlowe said:


> Yup. Same way Hamlet reads different from A Midsummer Night's Dream.


are your emails also 300 pages long and involve complex story lines, plot turns, and scenes filled with specific emotional content?


----------



## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

meridannight said:


> are your emails also 300 pages long and involve complex story lines, plot turns, and scenes filled with specific emotional content?


Pretty much.


----------



## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

Figure said:


> Not necessarily, it could be an interesting key-in for type 3.
> 
> Was there anything specific that made you want to go back and check what you wrote, or would you say it's more of a habit you've gotten yourself into?


Primarily habit. 

I generally check my emails before I send them to make sure they come across the way I want. I've found that dropping niceties, even if it's temporarily more efficient, doesn't get you any favors down the road when you need to ask someone to work more on your behalf.


----------



## qaryoqa (May 31, 2013)

I just realized I forgot my counseling appointment yesterday evening, which is terrible because I forgot it last Monday evening as well which was why it got rescheduled for yesterday. Strangely, my counselor didn't call me when I didn't show up, which makes me wonder if he is either angry or feeling resigned about this. He's not really one to make assumptions I don't think, but I also think he might think this reflects upon it not being important to me. I'm just completely shocked that I did this again. I remembered on Monday, but then forgot for all of yesterday. I know I've been incredibly preoccupied and lost in my head, but I just have this feeling of the counseling appointments existing in some separate universe outside of where I've been heading. I'm deeply disturbed by not remembering them and that they somehow are on this separate stream in my mind that doesn't seem to connect with what has been the main stream of focus lately.

Although I certainly haven't been this way all my life (in terms of being forgetful like this), the existence of these separate streams of focus that can seemingly operate independently of one another where it's like one simply does not see the other, where they are not integrated with purpose or intention aligning with action, is really bothering me. I think this could be related to E9 issues, although of course there are other explanations.

I was recently put on an SNRI (forgetfulness isn't one of the side effects) and I have been more motivated and active, especially this last week, and I've been feeling better like I'm finally starting to get back on track. But then forgetting something like this twice in a row (highly unusual for me) is making me wondering if things aren't going as well as I thought they were. It's just this jarring feeling of being aware of the separate stream of focus that was just previously totally out of view that bothers me. It's very disorienting.


----------



## Dan E (Jun 15, 2012)

Someone pointed this out to me (in an argument, interestingly enough). When I accomplish something, I revel in the glory only long enough to reveal other areas where I must extend my accomplishment to.



"I got an 98% on my exam. That was great. But I must now do the same for my other classes as I want to be better."
"I have stopped drinking alcohol and soda. It feels good. But I wish to eliminate much more out of my diet. It's not enough this way."
"I feel very happy lately. I guess that means I'm too comfortable where I am. I am not going to tolerate this laziness."


I've read this is distinctive of a sexual One, having an individual focus such as this. (Or perhaps this is just the evidence of the productive Three in my tritype)


----------



## meridannight (Nov 23, 2012)

it got pointed out to me today how i don't measure up to certain standards (like i already didn't know that myself). and the whole thing left me cold. no inkling of ''yeah, i'll do better'' or ''i'll try to improve myself'' or ''i want to improve myself''....i'm utterly disinterested. funny thing was the guy who told me this finds it alien to human nature not to want to be the best at whatever it is you're doing. he can't put it together that i just don't care and that's not how life functions for me. he'll never even think of this option. so he'll wait a while and expect an improvement, and i already know it's not coming.

you have to take me the way i am, or leave me the way i am. there is no middle option to this.


----------



## Father of Dragons (May 7, 2012)

Dan E said:


> Someone pointed this out to me (in an argument, interestingly enough). When I accomplish something, I revel in the glory only long enough to reveal other areas where I must extend my accomplishment to.





meridannight said:


> it got pointed out to me today how i don't measure up to certain standards (like i already didn't know that myself).


Sorry lol, but I just love how these posts are one after another. Maybe this is one of those situations where you are co-workers in real life and don't realize it? 

As for me, I got up this morning, tired and feeling like crap. I had a lot of important things planned to do, but now I'm just using my fatigue as an excuse to put them off til later. Here I am, sitting in front of the computer, again... :frustrating:

I love this thread btw, it's like all the "type X confessions/rants" in one, where we can directly see the interesting differences between the types in one place.


----------



## Figure (Jun 22, 2011)

Father of Dragons said:


> I love this thread btw, it's like all the "type X confessions/rants" in one, where we can directly see the interesting differences between the types in one place.


Ha, that was kind of the idea. To collect a bank of real-time experiences of each type and find a common thread between the responses, so you have an idea of what they actually pay attention to day to day. 

Not sure we have enough responses yet to really draw anything out, unless you've noticed something.


----------



## TwistedMuses (May 20, 2013)

I feel confused. No idea what I feel towards one person who's sweet and understands me...
I am afraid to hurt and break you, my dear...
I am all stressed and confused, circumstances are not in my favour..


----------



## Paradigm (Feb 16, 2010)

Mom and I stopped at a store on the way home today. I wanted to look for some "sleep pants" and socks. All their pants sucked. Went to the sock aisle and spent 5-10 minutes looking at all the different types and sizes, nearly picked a pack, suddenly got extremely indecisive... and left without buying anything. Then apologized for it (for wasting our time).

The other day my mom woke me up to tell me they were leaving. Just after they left, I heard a noise like they left a door open. I tried to blow it off and go back to sleep, but I ended up _having _to go check _just in case_. There wasn't a door open.


----------



## Father of Dragons (May 7, 2012)

Figure said:


> Ha, that was kind of the idea. To collect a bank of real-time experiences of each type and find a common thread between the responses, so you have an idea of what they actually pay attention to day to day.
> 
> Not sure we have enough responses yet to really draw anything out, unless you've noticed something.


Not too much pops out at me, but I find that I can relate a tiny bit to even the posts by types I have no connection to. Maybe there is something to Almaas emphasizing the similarities between people of all types more than the differences. But, that could just be me being a nine and wanting to see unity in everything...


----------



## heaveninawildflower (Feb 5, 2012)

Not sure how this relates to my type, but this is what I felt...anger at someone. They won't stay out of my life. I want this person to go back to where they came from, and I can't relax knowing that they are still here. And it makes me so damn mad.


----------



## mushr00m (May 23, 2011)

Feel free to list anything that you do frequently, did recently, or may do that you think points to your type. If you don't know or can't tell where it goes, no worries, this is a place to bring it forward to discuss.

This one came to mind. I don't trust other people's advice or more specifically I question their advice frequently. Im not always graceful in accepting it if I don't agree with it, I try though. It's hard to even admit that now but it's something that keeps coming up so y'know. And then when im out of options, others advice seems like my only hope, it would be easy now to venture off into non-enneagram related territory because there is so much more to it yet it's still core type stuff. I also don't know how to feel comfortable with people in positions higher or lower than me, I don't deal well with people who presume power over me and don't like to order others around either except for good intentions, I resent that kind of relationship, i've tended to prefer equal balance relationships, once the balance tilters, bad things start emerging. This is unrealistic I know, life is full of power imbalances but still, I try to cultivate equality where possible. And things.


----------



## HellCat (Jan 17, 2013)

Windows 8 on my new lappy turns me into Homer Simpson trying to build anything. 


"English side ruined, must use french instructions ..Le grill? what the hell is that !!! 
Angry grunting "come on AAAAAAH" huh eh ughhh ahhhh doh! 

Ahh thats one fine looking bbq pit! Why doesn't mine look like that Aaaaaaah why why why must life be so hard!! aaaaaah 
war cries.. 


I got stuck in the camera portion and right clicking turns on a timer. I accidentally took about 48 pictures of myself and have angry grunting videos somehow.. then I got the bright idea to do a cold shutdown, turned it back on.. went on desktop and took me RIGHT back into the camera. Finally I discovered you close it by DRAGGING it. 

I almost beat it on rocks.


----------



## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

I got a 98 on my Ethics exam, and I thought, "Really? Docked off 2 points?" Sigh. haha


----------



## Ryosuke93 (Feb 29, 2012)

My cousin took the enneagram quiz today and got type 4. I immediately thought "No way, no way could she be like me. Not unique like me. "


----------



## Figure (Jun 22, 2011)

Here are some interesting patterns so far, for type 6, based on the responses here:



Mr.Rbtoo said:


> I know nothing about general culture and I can't talk with friends about anything. All the profound revelations they've got by being exposed to media, I haven't had them. Then I think about all the things I can't relate to or identify with because I was living in a cave...*I should be looking for a way to be independent.*





Nonsense said:


> :laughing: I've had moments similar to that, except instead of worrying about being authentic, I realize* it's just boring to copy someone else.*





listochka said:


> *All I want is to be happy doing my own thing, enjoying the things I enjoy*, having fun! I don't care for success *the way most people around me seem to care about it*. I only want two things in a job: A stable job & decent income and for it to be meaningful.





mushr00m said:


> *I don't trust other people's advice o*r more specifically* I question their advice frequently*. Im not always graceful in accepting it if I don't agree with it, I try though. It's hard to even admit that now but it's something that keeps coming up so y'know.....*I don't deal well with people who presume power over me and don't like to order others around either *except for good intentions, I resent that kind of relationship, i've tended to prefer equal balance relationships, once the balance tilters, bad things start emerging.




I've bolded some things that you guys have said that seem to share a common theme. Obviously things can be biased since this is a forum, but it is interesting that so many 6's here (primarily 6w7) have brought up themes of wanting to be able to make your own decisions, self-reliance, or autonomy. I have also noticed this with some of the 6's, particularly CP 6's, I know. It seems to be a pattern, and a surprising one to me at that, given that 6's are stereotyped to _fear standing out too much_. 

Do you guys agree that wanting to stand out is more a part of type 6 than stereotypes suggest? Is that more of a conscious desire for you, or something that you are proactive in making part of your everyday lives?


----------



## kitsu (Feb 13, 2013)

Figure said:


> I've bolded some things that you guys have said that seem to share a common theme. Obviously things can be biased since this is a forum, but it is interesting that so many 6's here (primarily 6w7) have brought up themes of wanting to be able to make your own decisions, self-reliance, or autonomy. I have also noticed this with some of the 6's, particularly CP 6's, I know. It seems to be a pattern, and a surprising one to me at that, given that 6's are stereotyped to _fear standing out too much_.
> 
> Do you guys agree that wanting to stand out is more a part of type 6 than stereotypes suggest? Is that more of a conscious desire for you, or something that you are proactive in making part of your everyday lives?


I don't think wanting to stand out is really a 6 thing, more of a 4 fix thing, whether core or not. But I don't even really think that wanting to be able to be self-reliant and make your own decisions is really an ego thing about "wanting to stand out". It's just exhausting to have nothing to trust. Not yourself, not others, literally no-thing. It's like the carpet's going to fly out from under your feet at any moment and there's nothing to settle the constant nag.

Edit: Essentially, not having your shit together does make you stand out cause you're freaked out and everyone can see it and it makes everything uncomfortable ("why's this person so nervous. get a grip on yourself, christ"). So I'd say I usually have this kind of thinking to _avoid_ standing out.

I can't speak for CP six though


----------



## Figure (Jun 22, 2011)

Hurricane said:


> I don't think wanting to stand out is really a 6 thing, more of a 4 fix thing, whether core or not. But I don't even really think that wanting to be able to be self-reliant and make your own decisions is really an ego thing about "wanting to stand out". It's just exhausting to have nothing to trust. Not yourself, not others, literally no-thing. It's like the carpet's going to fly out from under your feet at any moment and there's nothing to settle the constant nag.


Interesting. I had been fiddling around with the possibility of it being a counterphobic approach to the fears of the type, not so much the result of a 4 fix.


----------



## mushr00m (May 23, 2011)

Figure said:


> Here are some interesting patterns so far, for type 6, based on the responses here:
> 
> I've bolded some things that you guys have said that seem to share a common theme. Obviously things can be biased since this is a forum, but it is interesting that so many 6's here (primarily 6w7) have brought up themes of wanting to be able to make your own decisions, self-reliance, or autonomy. I have also noticed this with some of the 6's, particularly CP 6's, I know. It seems to be a pattern, and a surprising one to me at that, given that 6's are stereotyped to _fear standing out too much_.
> 
> Do you guys agree that wanting to stand out is more a part of type 6 than stereotypes suggest? Is that more of a conscious desire for you, or something that you are proactive in making part of your everyday lives?


Yes. Absolutely. This is further emphasized with being an SP dom although they are not definitely mutually exclusive in every instance, they still reinforce each other, the autonomy seeking, independence searching etc. And 6's on the path to self growth I would imagine seek to build upon self reliance throughout their lives. Personally i've always stuggled putting myself in the p/cp camp, I do think that alone is significant of many type 6's especially if they are under greater stress, the seesawing can be more pronounced. But to echo others thoughts about themselves, there's always been an element of trying to seperate oneself from others in such a way that my mind and everything I stand for must be truly my own else neurosis crops up, to surrender my whole existence inevitably feels like handing my soul to something that is potentially fallible, it is entirely consistent with security seeking perhaps moreso in a cp/6 or they are more aware of that.

I also think this explains the confusions mistyping with 4's because although they are fundamentally different in the motives, 4's just can't help but feel different(I do too, hello 4 fix) but there is more pushing to seperate myself from others in accordance with striving for independence.


----------



## kitsu (Feb 13, 2013)

Figure said:


> Interesting. I had been fiddling around with the possibility of it being a counterphobic approach to the fears of the type, not so much the result of a 4 fix.


I edited a few bits in after you answered sorry


----------



## kitsu (Feb 13, 2013)

And you just got a completely different answer from @mushr00m , though I kind of feel like we're saying the same thing despite one of us agreeing and the other disagreeing with your statement...

Basically, yes, we do try to stand out because it makes us feel like we have our stuff together

But for me I want to feel like I have my life together because I'm tired of feeling like the only person alive who worries so much. So essentially, trying to not stand out.


----------



## mushr00m (May 23, 2011)

Hurricane said:


> And you just got a completely different answer from @_mushr00m_ , though I kind of feel like we're saying the same thing despite one of us agreeing and the other disagreeing with your statement...


Do you identify moreso with the phobic dichotomy? It might even explain our different angles but arriving at the same finishing point = stability. 



> Basically, yes, we do try to stand out because it makes us feel like we have our stuff together
> 
> But for me I want to feel like I have my life together because I'm tired of feeling like the only person alive who worries so much. So essentially, trying to not stand out.


That sounds like an image fix at work or even connection to 3. IDK??


----------



## kitsu (Feb 13, 2013)

mushr00m said:


> Do you identify moreso with the phobic dichotomy? It might even explain our different angles but arriving at the same finishing point = stability.


I'm like you on that one, I don't know. I sort of fluctuate between the two. I'm fearful of everything but I'll force myself to do the things that scare me the most because there's an impulse to confront it. But I've met a few people who couldn't possibly have been anything but CP 6 and they were openly confrontational of like... everything. But half jokingly. It was weird and I don't identify.



> That sounds like an image fix at work or even connection to 3. IDK??


Yes I am struggling with my 4 at the moment as well, it could be a lot of that. Not 3 though, it's not at all in terms of achievements, and really a lot in terms of feeling like I'm perceived as a mess. I'm so not sure of myself that there are times I can't even get a straight sentence out without losing track of it or trying to voice 5 thoughts at once and giving up halfway through.


----------



## mushr00m (May 23, 2011)

Hurricane said:


> I'm like you on that one, I don't know. I sort of fluctuate between the two. I'm fearful of everything but I'll force myself to do the things that scare me the most because there's an impulse to confront it. But I've met a few people who couldn't possibly have been anything but CP 6 and they were openly confrontational of like... everything. But half jokingly. It was weird and I don't identify.


This just seems a central 6 theme anyway, struggling to find a balance. Now to contradict myself, I want the ultimate answer on how to do this :laughing: And then flip flop between why should I take others words at face value versus am I too rigid/naive for being over investing in my own ideas. Tbh, I have moments were I have to forcibly reign myself in from confrontation, it's the superego wanting to act out, if I say nothing, then I only have myself to blame when I didn't take the chance to speak up and now it's all a mess *eyeroll*. I don't expect people to completely relate to this because it may come out slightly differently for yourself but I feel that tension so strongly, it's hard to get it right so kinda worked out a way of amalgamating both sides to arrive at an intuitive knowing and approaching to the situation, to communicate my concerns in a more effective way that doesn't cause me to push others support away nor to surrender myself mindlessly. And it takes practise so you become better at it. Oops, tangent there. 



> Yes I am struggling with my 4 at the moment as well, it could be a lot of that. Not 3 though, it's not at all in terms of achievements, and really a lot in terms of feeling like I'm perceived as a mess. I'm so not sure of myself that there are times I can't even get a straight sentence out without losing track of it or trying to voice 5 thoughts at once and giving up halfway through.


Haha, I do this a lot too.


----------



## kitsu (Feb 13, 2013)

mushr00m said:


> This just seems a central 6 theme anyway, struggling to find a balance. Now to contradict myself, I want the ultimate answer on how to do this :laughing: And then flip flop between why should I take others words at face value versus am I too rigid/naive for being over investing in my own ideas. Tbh, I have moments were I have to forcibly reign myself in from confrontation, it's the superego wanting to act out, if I say nothing, then I only have myself to blame when I didn't take the chance to speak up and now it's all a mess *eyeroll*. I don't expect people to completely relate to this because it may come out slightly differently for yourself but I feel that tension so strongly, it's hard to get it right so kinda worked out a way of amalgamating both sides to arrive at an intuitive knowing and approaching to the situation, to communicate my concerns in a more effective way that doesn't cause me to push others support away nor to surrender myself mindlessly. And it takes practise so you become better at it. Oops, tangent there.


No I absolutely relate, but isn't there a ton of E1 in this?

Honestly I think this trifix is a pretty tough one. I mean I know that sounds whiny and oh so 4-ish woe is me, but I'm not trying to be haha. All three are pretty self destructive yet self affirming and therefore conflictual fixations. Well of course that's what a fixation is supposed to be, inner conflict, but 1, 4 and 6 are the three most literal "fight against the self" fixes. The others are either turned to something external (2, 3, 7, 8) or numb (5, 9)


----------

