# Is everyone intensely attracted to their superego partner??



## Foxyfox (Oct 21, 2016)

I find that more than any other type I’m most attracted to my superego type. Even when they’re not overly attractive... and it’s both ways like we’re magnetized to each other, and it’s not just physical, it’s like we excite each other and we’re drawn to each other’s personalities. Is this the case with other types as well? Are we all most attracted to our superego partner types? (From personal experience please, I read all the online descriptions)


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## Arthrospira (Feb 18, 2020)

Not really. The INFj I know is nice and tolerable in small doses but we pretty much never agree on anything. And I sometimes think they hate me even if they don’t admit it (The culprit could also be my shitty Fi though).


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## sweetrice (Jun 21, 2019)

I absolutely love SLI's sense of humor, but i wouldn't say I'm intensely attracted to them. There's often a lot of mutual interest, but like Arthrospira said, I don't like them in big doses.

I've always been most attracted to my dual, even though they say that you supposedly are bad at sensing your dual and will often look them over, that hasn't been the case for me, at least as far as I know of..


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## counterintuitive (Apr 8, 2011)

I don't think so, but I also don't think it's outside the realm of possibility that _some_ people experience this.

Your superego type complements you in that they are good at your weaknesses. Your super id block is their id block. Compared to your dual, the values are inverted, but the strengths are not.

But unlike your dual, you and your superego share a temperament. You're superficially similar to each other and some people are attracted by that superficial similarity. Your superego is complementary, but still "just like you", whereas the dual is of opposite temperament and appears very different from you. However, others report being drawn to those of opposite temperament regardless of their Sociotype.

I'll say that everyone is different and there is nothing socionically "incorrect" about being attracted to your superego. 

But I also wouldn't generalize anything from this like "we all most attracted to our superego" lol.


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## PluckyDucky (Apr 17, 2019)

Sometimes I am, but not often. And not for very long.

If they are using their demonstrative function a lot, then I like that. But it's usually because they are stressed, not because they like that side of things.

The similar temperament is okay, but when they start talking and being themselves I actually really dislike it. Feels like they are a wierd twisted version of me. 

I feel like they are attractive at a fair distance away. If I don't know them well and all I'm getting from them is intuitive and feeling vibes, with a familiar style, then they can seem interesting.

Later on I find them slightly incomprehensible at best. I guess it is sort of a wierd thrill to be close to them, very unknown and almost taboo. But not pleasant.


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## sweetrice (Jun 21, 2019)

also, i've noticed that what i wrote above only rings true for myself if the superego is of the accepting subtype. otherwise it's the subtype of the PoLR function and i have trouble with that.


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## Foxyfox (Oct 21, 2016)

PluckyDucky said:


> Sometimes I am, but not often. And not for very long.
> 
> If they are using their demonstrative function a lot, then I like that. But it's usually because they are stressed, not because they like that side of things.
> 
> ...





citronnade said:


> also, i've noticed that what i wrote above only rings true for myself if the superego is of the accepting subtype. otherwise it's the subtype of the PoLR function and i have trouble with that.


I wonder if it’s because a lot of my family members were SLE’s (my super ego) so maybe I’ve adapted to them and their behaviour I’m not sure


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## sweetrice (Jun 21, 2019)

Foxyfox said:


> I wonder if it’s because a lot of my family members were SLE’s (my super ego) so maybe I’ve adapted to them and their behaviour I’m not sure


That would make sense- especially if you have a relatively good relationship with them that will surely affect it. 
My brother (LII) and mother (ESI) have a superego relation and although they can clash, they have a very good relationship, and i can see my brother getting along with other ESIs very easily. well, i couldn't tell you if he is intensely attracted to them as i haven't asked him.
but for sure, if you had positive experiences in your childhood with your superego type, then that definitely affects things.

anyway, on a separate note, i totally understand your attraction to SLEs


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## Foxyfox (Oct 21, 2016)

citronnade said:


> Foxyfox said:
> 
> 
> > I wonder if it’s because a lot of my family members were SLE’s (my super ego) so maybe I’ve adapted to them and their behaviour I’m not sure
> ...


Right? Lol I think they’re just overall attractive and a lot of other types are attracted to them.. they’re just hot *drool*


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## sweetrice (Jun 21, 2019)

ikk everyone says you don't usually notice your dual, but i've always noticed them and admired them from afar..



Foxyfox said:


> Right? Lol I think they’re just overall attractive *and a lot of other types are attracted to them..* they’re just hot *drool*


we have too much competition ahaha


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## Convex (Jan 5, 2015)

Hell yeah


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## sweetrice (Jun 21, 2019)

@Convex

pft. we were talking about every sle besides you


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## Convex (Jan 5, 2015)

citronnade said:


> @Convex
> 
> pft. we were talking about every sle besides you


You got better things reserved for me huh?


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

That sounds potentially a bit masochistic.


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## Sylas (Jul 23, 2016)

It's distant admiration of them. If anyone is used to treating relationships like work, or a string of insurmountable challenges to overcome, superego gives them that.


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## Foxyfox (Oct 21, 2016)

Sylas said:


> It's distant admiration of them. If anyone is used to treating relationships like work, or a string of insurmountable challenges to overcome, superego gives them that.


Gotcha.. but tell me this (anyone who can chime in also please feel free)- My hardest breakup in my life was actually with my super ego partner.. it was definitely a rocky relationship but the both of us agree that it was the deepest relationship we’ve ever experienced he admitted that he doesn’t think he is capable of ever loving anyone as much as he loved me and I didn’t say it back but definitely feel the same.. initially, and for the longest time after the breakup I believed that he was my dual especially since reading about how painful breaking off relations with a “dual” is.. we both plunged into depression that lasted years and (until this day) a mutual friend told me that he is still not over me and the relationship. Im pretty sure he is a SLE and I’ve come across the “strength in relationships” article - Maslov's hierarchy of needs, and it does indicate that superego relations are ranked second strongest! Do you know anything about the topic that isn’t written in the article ? maybe you can give your two cents on the topic of “strength in relationships”? I’ll attach the article link here in case anyone is interested


http://www.socionics.com/articles/thestrength.html

Also in retrospect all my past superego relationships (friendships/ and family) which I ended for (whatever reason) have been pretty painful and leave both parties with a deep void unlike any other (excluding my dual type). My ex best friend was also my superego and together we were a force to be reckoned with, we actually covered /protected a good amount of each other’s weakness and felt sympathetic towards them- without completely understanding each other like a dual pair would. So oddly enough the area of “not understanding” made things exciting ( in all my superego relations) and didn’t feel burdensome.. whereas in a dual pair there’s complete understanding so there’s the unmatched comfort.


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## counterintuitive (Apr 8, 2011)

@Foxyfox Interesting article. Thanks for sharing it. I understand in principle the mapping to the hierarchy of needs, but I think it reaches the conclusions that it does mostly because it's not taking quadra values into account (at least not directly). It's taking into account shared or complementary T/F and S/N; shared or different Rationality (p/j); and temperament.

I think it's overstating the impact of Rationality. The author awards 5 points to pairings having shared p/j, and _zero_ points to those with different p/j. I understand this is a result of the derivation based on the hierarchy of needs (actualization), but it's why the top half of the ranking all share j/p, while Activity and Mirror are in the "worse" half of the ranking. I would agree that Rationality does make a difference in various aspects of a relationship, but I don't think the impact is this much.

I also think the author is understating the importance of shared or complementary T/F or S/N. They claim "understanding is better supported when the temperament of both partners operate in similar modes (either open or closed-loop) and or both share preferences (T or F and S or N)" but I don't think this is flatly true without taking into account quadra values.


As an aside, the author is LII-Ti (I know who it is on the16types.info) i.e. Rational type w/ Rational subtype. I wonder if that influences the high weight on Rationality. I've found that Rationality doesn't make nearly this much difference and I'm an Irrational type w/ Rational subtype. I almost don't notice p/j hiccups with some Rationals, like ESE-Si. Also, I definitely think even ESE-Fe (Activator with less compatible subtype*) would be _much_ preferable for a long-term relationship to SEE-Se (Superego with non-PoLR subtype). So idk lol, I think the over-weighting of Rationality created a weird ranking in that article.

* For Activators in general, I take the contact subtypes to be more compatible because each one can provide more information/assistance to the other's suggestive. In general, across other intertypes, I've also noticed that people who share inert/contact subtype have a more similar pace of conversation/interaction.


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## Sylas (Jul 23, 2016)

Foxyfox said:


> *Gotcha.. but tell me this* (anyone who can chime in also please feel free)- My hardest breakup in my life was actually with my super ego partner.. it was definitely a rocky relationship but the both of us agree that it was the deepest relationship we’ve ever experienced he admitted that he doesn’t think he is capable of ever loving anyone as much as he loved me and I didn’t say it back but definitely feel the same..
> 
> ...
> 
> Also in retrospect all my past superego relationships (friendships/ and family) which I ended for (whatever reason) have been pretty painful and leave both parties with a deep void unlike any other (excluding my dual type)...


If you deeply loved these multiple super-egos as much as you say, why did you break up? Why did you let them go? Why did they let you go and move onto someone else? Things must not have been running as smooth and rosy and you'd made a crappy relationship sound better than it really was. Else why leave them?

That and mistypes. Plenty of ESE men mistype into SLEs, in which case IEE is admiring and dating her benefactor while thinking that this man is her super-ego.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

My ex hubs was Enfp

Glad we did not kill each other
It was passionate but we were a combination of TnT 

I have said before though that had we had similar world views ad ideology beliefs then maybe we could have been fine

But because we had differing world views mixed with my Ti & his Fi that combination is just so bad if the people do not have similar world outlooks


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## DOGSOUP (Jan 29, 2016)

Not intensely, no. I've noticed a rivalry aspect to it which can be like, mildly interesting if you like that sort of thing and can deal with the need to impress and be impressed. Easy to get past that initial interest when your programs start clashing & it feels like intentional trolling (IDK if it is or if the base function is just stubborn).


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