# Troll Master



## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Moonious said:


> If there is no light, then how does one see the bulb that needs changing?


there once was a girl named Moonius
who liked asking questions, she was curious
"who turned off the lights?"
she exclaimed on this site
then opened her eyes and felt ridiculous )


sorry, Moonius...ScienceProject needs to get a _brighter _bulb...maybe you can go shopping with her so you can see the light, too?


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

stiletto said:


> You're trying to hard.
> ENTPs got you beat.


first it's FALSEtto, now it's bravado...what're you gonna do next, ENTJ?...desperado?

now go put on some hush-puppies and shush up


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## stargazing grasshopper (Oct 25, 2013)

I'd wager a guess that IxTPs posing as INTJ ought to be quite adept at trolling.

I'd assume that a successful Troll ought to be a narcissist at heart & their ego might swell exponentially after s/he's put in a good day of stroking his/her need for extreme validation.
His/her drive could be fueled by a passion for manipulating gullible airheads & stomping upon their happiness, crushing their dreams or destroying another's will. 
You'd kinda need to be a certifiable psycho, hateful of the world & wanting to drag down everybody within reach.

From my perspective, it's the IXTP Trolls whom are posing as INTJs because they're very much self aware that their broken little selves don't fit into the world of reality & where's the validation in knowing that you ought to be chillin with Nurse Rached


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

stargazing grasshopper said:


> I'd wager a guess that IxTPs posing as INTJ ought to be quite adept at trolling.
> 
> I'd assume that a successful Troll ought to be a narcissist at heart & their ego might swell exponentially after s/he's put in a good day of stroking his/her need for extreme validation.
> His/her drive could be fueled by a passion for manipulating gullible airheads & stomping upon their happiness, crushing their dreams or destroying another's will.
> ...


there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your psychobabble, stargazer 

and your wife is calling..you remember what happened the last time you kept your master waiting, don't you?


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## stiletto (Oct 26, 2013)

ae1905 said:


> first it's FALSEtto, now it's bravado...what're you gonna do next, ENTJ?...desperado?
> 
> now go put on some hush-puppies and shush up


 Weak. Could've been such an interesting topic. Later.


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

stiletto said:


> Weak. Could've been such an interesting topic. Later.


no, hon, an emoticon is weak...try saying something original next time...next stop: incommunicado


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## stargazing grasshopper (Oct 25, 2013)

ae1905 said:


> there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your psychobabble, stargazer
> 
> and your wife is calling..you remember what happened the last time you kept your master waiting, don't you?


Yup........

I changed my mind to nope.


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## 1000BugsNightSky (May 8, 2014)

ae1905 said:


> there once was a girl named Moonius
> who liked to ask questions, she was curious
> "who turned off the lights?"
> she exclaimed on this site
> ...


I prefer natural sunlight to artificial light.


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Moonious said:


> I prefer natural sunlight to artificial light.


that was a metaphorical lightbulb, Moonius...but I still think you and ScienceProject should change your bulbs--it really will shed more light on the darkness around you


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## Lexicon Devil (Mar 14, 2014)




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## FluffyTheAnarchist (Sep 9, 2013)

stargazing grasshopper said:


> I'd wager a guess that IxTPs posing as INTJ ought to be quite adept at trolling.
> 
> I'd assume that a successful Troll ought to be a narcissist at heart & their ego might swell exponentially after s/he's put in a good day of stroking his/her need for extreme validation.
> His/her drive could be fueled by a passion for manipulating gullible airheads & stomping upon their happiness, crushing their dreams or destroying another's will.
> ...


haha...you are making trolling sound way too glamorous


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## FluffyTheAnarchist (Sep 9, 2013)

ae1905 said:


> nope, wrong answer...that's what happens when you mail it in, folks...don't let your ENTP dog chew (over) your ideas--think for yourselves, sheeple!


Nope, this is what happens when your ENTP-Ti Mastermind Troll-dog (would be a popular breed!) gets a hold of an ESxP! :laughing:

and speaking of sheeple:


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Fluff'n'Fury said:


> haha...you are making trolling sound way too glamorous


how would you know if you haven't tried it? 

and his point about NTP becoming NTJ to troll is wishful thinking--NTJs _con_trol (NTs call them _cons_, for short)--only NTPs roll with the troll


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## FluffyTheAnarchist (Sep 9, 2013)

ae1905 said:


> how would you know if you haven't tried it?
> 
> and his point about NTP becoming NTJ to troll is wishful thinking--NTJs _con_trol (NTs call them _cons_, for short)--only NTPs roll with the troll


Frankly, I don't get the need to "become" an NTJ just to troll. Wouldn't the action itself be anti-trolling? Wouldn't that be making an assumption that NTPs don't hold enough power/authority to troll in NTP clothing? Unless the point is to troll both the NTJs and the trolling victims


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Fluff'n'Fury said:


> Frankly, I don't get the need to "become" an INTJ just to troll. Wouldn't the action itself be anti-trolling? Wouldn't that be making an assumption that INTPs don't hold enough power/authority to troll in INTP clothing? Unless the point is to troll both the INTJs and the trolling victims


yes, and of all the faults that you find in INTJs--the arrogance, the stare, the "I told you so's" and "God, you're so stupids"--anti-trolling is the most egregious, I find...the NTP gift to typology is the invention of trolling...it's our genius for play _at play_, and NTJs need to loosen up and just roll with it if they ever want to catch us in the creativity dep't


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## Booyou (Oct 5, 2014)

I agree saying that INTPs are more likely to be online trolls, but I know some INTPs that are great trolls in real life as well. And Sociopath+INTP=King of trolling
ENTPs and INTJs are really good at it. My INTJ cousin is a master troll since 8 y.o


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## Lexicon Devil (Mar 14, 2014)

stargazing grasshopper said:


> I'd assume that a successful Troll ought to be a narcissist at heart & their ego might swell exponentially after s/he's put in a good day of stroking his/her...


Really :shocked:


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## stargazing grasshopper (Oct 25, 2013)

Geoffrey Felis said:


> Really :shocked:


" put in a good day of stroking his/her need for extreme validation."

Yes I think that much of a Troll's motivation would be derived from an unhealthy want of excessive self validation or obtaining some weird pleasure from causing harm (psychological) to others. Otherwise, Why do Trolls screw with others whom are most often unaware that they're being played? There's a sick self gratification kinda thing taking place within the mind of the dedicated Trolls.


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## Lexicon Devil (Mar 14, 2014)

stargazing grasshopper said:


> Why do Trolls screw with others whom are most often unaware that they're being played?


I've been watching educational videos on this subject. Quite stimulating !!


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

stargazing grasshopper said:


> " put in a good day of stroking his/her need for extreme validation."
> 
> Yes I think that much of a Troll's motivation would be derived from an unhealthy want of excessive self validation or obtaining some weird pleasure from causing harm (psychological) to others. Otherwise, Why do Trolls screw with others whom are most often unaware that they're being played? There's a sick self gratification kinda thing taking place within the mind of the dedicated Trolls.


Or is it that no-one likes watching someone use his smarts in ways that remind him of his own shortcomings?

Trolling is a form of play. I do it to exercise my mind, to test my wits, and to have fun. I never do it to hurt anyone and my trolling is not mean, but funny and playful. That is, until you cross the line, then I can be quite pointed. But this doesn't happen often.


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## stargazing grasshopper (Oct 25, 2013)

ae1905 said:


> Or is it that no-one likes watching someone use his smarts in ways that remind him of his own shortcomings?
> 
> Trolling is a form of play. I do it to exercise my mind, to test my wits, and to have fun. I never do it to hurt anyone and my trolling is not mean, but funny and playful. That is, until you cross the line, then I can be quite pointed. But this doesn't happen often.


Relax man, I wasn't referring to you or alluding that any members of this site are trolling psychos.

Merely inferring (from my limited observations) that since the targets of a Troll are most often unaware that they've been victimized, a Troll has very little external source of validation for their efforts, nobody to offer her/him a high-five or other positive reinforcement. Therefore their primary motivation is likely derived from an internal want or even a need of validation.
An unhealthy need for self validation may be caused by any number of issues, but I'd guess that a desire to feel empowered &/or superior to others is somewhat fueled by their need to overcome a sense of inferiority. 

Napoleon would've been the ultimate guy Troll.


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## Lexicon Devil (Mar 14, 2014)

Seriously, I think there are different types of trolling. The fun type that ae1905 stated which for example could be considered a minor annoyance. Then on the other end of the spectrum there is the trolling that is obvious or and designed to hurt badly. In the middle we have trolling that is subtle or even unintentional.

Now I just trolled stargazing grasshopper on this thread by taking what he said out of context and making sophomoric sex jokes out of it. Hopefully he is not too annoyed.


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Also, I can see that my trolling is often motivated by Ti-Ne, Ti because I see something wrong in a thread or discussion and Ne because what I see is banal and mundane. Example. There's a thread elsewhere on this site that solicits videos that express people's ideas of love, attraction, and sex. All the contributions are serious pop songs of the usual adolescent fare--ie, bland, boring. So I submitted a song called, "Take this job and shove it!" along with the entry, "relationships are hard work, right?" Different, no? But still relevant, if you think about it since relationships are work and if a relationship comes to feel like a job you want to "shove", then you've done something wrong. My point was that you have to be both _more _serious by thinking of rel'ns as work and not pop songs, but also _less _serious because you have to be able to play and laugh to make it feel less like work. No-one, including the OP, an ENTJ, got it. But that was a troll with a Si-Ne (work and play) message. 

So trolling is also a way to send a message that the conversation or thread is flawed.

That is one INTP's trolling. I suspect each type will have its own reasons for trolling. Maybe we'll learn more here in this thread.


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## Lexicon Devil (Mar 14, 2014)

@ae1905

What you did in the Love Song Thread was make a social statement using humor. Although you were not following the thread spirit so to speak, you were not being flippant or hurtful. Also, the comedy was obvious. In my judgment, what you did may border on trolling, but I don't think it crossed that line.


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Geoffrey Felis said:


> @_ae1905_
> 
> What you did in the Love Song Thread was make a social statement using humor. Although you were not following the thread spirit so to speak, you were not being flippant or hurtful. Also, the comedy was obvious. In my judgment, what you did may *border on trolling, but I don't think it crossed that line*.


C'mon, Geoff! You can't say that in this thread! You're making me look bad, man!


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## Mimic octopus (May 3, 2014)

I agree with the poll results, ENTPs are definitely the master trolls. But for some reason I suspect all intuitive dominant types have been known to troll, can anyone confirm or deny this?


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Patrick_1 said:


> I agree with the poll results, ENTPs are definitely the master trolls. But for some reason I suspect all intuitive dominant types have been known to troll, can anyone confirm or deny this?


yeah, I deny it, and I confirm you're wrong...try pixie dust next time, Ziggy--here's a humanicorn who'd love to show you how :wink:


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## Lexicon Devil (Mar 14, 2014)

ae1905 said:


>




*ae1905 you troll you !!*


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Geoffrey Felis said:


> *ae1905 you troll you !!*



Oh look, it's Mr October from the ENTP Beefcake calender!


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## Squirrel (Jun 14, 2014)

INTJ's with their unwanted/unneeded 2 cents.


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## Lexicon Devil (Mar 14, 2014)

@Squirrel
You know we can see your squirrel vagina in your avitar.


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## lookslikeiwin (May 6, 2014)

ae1905 said:


> What type is the master of the troll? And by master I mean is most likely to and most adept and even, dare I say, talented? (If my type doesn't win this poll I've obviously not fulfilled my role here in PerC and have much work yet to do


No one understands... we are evil. No one votes INTP for anything because they don't know what's actually going on in our heads. They'd probably vote us "cutest" type or something else similarly patronizing.


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Geoffrey Felis said:


> @_Squirrel_
> You know we can see your squirrel vagina in your avitar.


squirrel _is _looking for nuts, so...just sayin


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Squirrel said:


> INTJ's with their unwanted/unneeded 2 cents.


maybe squirrel is on to something...


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## Modal Soul (Jun 16, 2013)

please don't make threads about me without my permission, thanks


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## Modal Soul (Jun 16, 2013)

ENTPs are the best and most likable trolls because they're witty and clever, but when they troll you it's never personal or exceptionally hurtful
they are the one type that i think does it solely for shits and giggles
they've also got that Ti-Fe charm

ENFPs are just straight up assholes when they troll (from what i've seen) but they do it while remaining funny so it's hard to stay mad
it's that Fi-Te lack of care for others' feelings/bluntness
sorry guys, i love you most of the time

ESFJs do it with malicious intent 99% of the time. it's some next level emotional manipulation with them, and it is always personal, and even if it isn't they will still somehow make it personal
i imagine they're the ones who would most likely troll people into killing themselves
sorry guys, i love you almost never

i'm hella bitter when it comes to ESFJs and i'm not even gonna front and act like i'm not


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

lookslikeiwin said:


> No one understands... we are evil. No one votes INTP for anything because they don't know what's actually going on in our heads. They'd probably vote us "cutest" type or something else similarly patronizing.


oh, _we _understand, Lady Macbeth, and thank you for strutting and fretting here on our stage, but time is brief and the hour wanes--kinda like your candle in the wind...(security, call 911, and don't take your eyes off this woman).....next


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Modal Soul said:


> please don't make threads about me without my permission, thanks


sorry, quasi-modal, this is the thread about you...

http://personalitycafe.com/spam-world/159983-soul-glo.html

try soul-searching next time...you might even find your personality :wink:


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Modal Soul said:


> ENTPs are the best and most likable trolls because they're witty and clever, but when they troll you it's never personal or exceptionally hurtful
> they are the one type that i think does it solely for shits and giggles
> they've also got that Ti-Fe charm


yes, for me, Fe holds me back from making it too personal, but it's Ti-Ne that makes me want to do it sometimes just for laughs, cuz I see something funny and can't resist saying it


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## Modal Soul (Jun 16, 2013)

ae1905 said:


> sorry, quasi-modal, this is the thread about you...
> 
> http://personalitycafe.com/spam-world/159983-soul-glo.html
> 
> try soul-searching next time...you might even find your personality :wink:


LET IT GLOOOOOO, LET IT GLOOOOOOO
CAN'T HOLD IT BACK ANYMOoOOoOORE


addingthislineoftextsomypoststayscapped


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

sjack said:


> Trolls are whiny little attention whores w/ sad pathetic excuses for lives. Mangy bottom feeders if you ask me. Celebrating it is like championing a celebration of failure.





Fluff'n'Fury said:


> don't you be trollin' causes for celebration now, mis(s)/ter !


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Fluff'n'Fury said:


> **BREAKING NEWS*
> *Richard Bruce "Dick" Cheney has been *framed*!!! His name and reputation unfairly (oil?) stained! .... btw, that explains hunting the lawyer!
> Dick Cheney, the unlikely trolling victim, has so much pent up Fi anger, he fails to constrain it when in close proximity to anything resembling an xNTP!


*breaking news!*...we're sorry to report, folks, that our earlier "breaking news" bulletin broke real bad and we can now confirm that Richard Bruce Cheney, aka the INTJ Dickhead, has not--I repeat, _not_--been framed and is not the victim of trolling...remember, this is the man who single-handedly trolled the Middle East!...and even more impressively, he's the man who famously shot his lawyer and got away with it, an accomplishment few Americans can claim and has made Cheney one of the most popular and admired Americans living today...so no-one trolls the Dickhead, not the Iraquis, not the American Bar Association, and especially not a certain upstart, part-time reporter and internet talking head who will remain nameless to protect her reputation on this network

once again, *INTJ Dickhead Cheney is OK*, he has _not _been framed....what's more, we can also report that Cheney has _not _shot any lawyers this weekend--yet...but we'll be the first to break the good news when he does

now we take you back to our regular programming...


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Fluff'n'Fury said:


> lol! your maniacal kitty avatar is purrfect for trolling, and protecting you from that size 12 boot.


iz tu kute, nowon wud hirt a kitteh lak mee )


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

MelodyGirl said:


> Ha. Well, then, a lot of people got it "wrong."


yes, a lot of people can't sing in tune, melody, but you're an INTP, you'll find the key when you learn to follow the beat of your own drum


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

ae1905 said:


> iz tu kute, nowon wud hirt a kitteh lak mee )


I got a size 12 boot wedged up my gerbil hole that sez differently


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Fluff'n'Fury said:


> Nope, this is what happens when your ENTP-Ti Mastermind Troll-dog (would be a popular breed!) gets a hold of an ESxP! :laughing:
> 
> and speaking of sheeple:


haha, didn't see this post...aww, poor doggie, he looks so unhappy, he needs a hug--but not from his ENTP friend 

and an ESXP is one thing, but an INTP a whole different animal (a cat, in fact ..here's what happens when ENTP-Ti and INTJ "mastermind" dogs team up and enter the ring with an an INTP cat


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

vinniebob said:


> I got a size 12 boot wedged up my gerbil hole that sez differently


OK, thank you for that, ahem, personal information, but this is a family program...security!--who let this man get back in?


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

ae1905 said:


> OK, thank you for that, ahem, personal information, but this is a family program...security!--who let this man get back in?


vinniebob's gots a v.i.p. pass


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## MelodyGirl (Dec 18, 2010)

ae1905 said:


> yes, a lot of people can't sing in tune, melody, but you're an INTP, you'll find the key when you learn to follow the beat of your own drum


What a troll. Hahaha.


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

MelodyGirl said:


> What a troll. Hahaha.


that's it, now you're findin' your groove


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

vinniebob said:


> vinniebob's gots a v.i.p. pass


very improper person?...who likes to be the butt of his own jokes?...alright vinnie, you can stay, but just remember we have kiddies watching


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

ae1905 said:


> very improper person?...who likes to be the butt of his own jokes?...alright vinnie, you can stay, but just remember we have kiddies watching


no v.i.p very ignorant prick


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## Lexicon Devil (Mar 14, 2014)

vinniebob said:


> I got a size 12 boot wedged up my gerbil hole that sez differently


I was wondering where my pet gerbil went. :sad:


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

Geoffrey Felis said:


> I was wondering where my pet gerbil went. :sad:


you want him back? he's been a pain in my ass


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## FluffyTheAnarchist (Sep 9, 2013)

ae1905 said:


> haha, didn't see this post...aww, poor doggie, he looks so unhappy, he needs a hug--but not from his ENTP friend
> 
> and an ESXP is one thing, but an INTP a whole different animal (a cat, in fact ..here's what happens when ENTP-Ti and INTJ "mastermind" dogs team up and enter the ring with an an INTP cat


) clearly that cat is an ISTP psychopath... obviously and unmarked member of feline SWAT, ruthless, precise, no empathy for those sad sad puppy eyes... I grant you that all parties involved are thinkers, who else would stop in the middle of a fight to have a think..


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## FluffyTheAnarchist (Sep 9, 2013)

ae1905 said:


> *breaking news!*...we're sorry to report, folks, that our earlier "breaking news" bulletin broke real bad and we can now confirm that Richard Bruce Cheney, aka the INTJ Dickhead, has not--I repeat, _not_--been framed and is not the victim of trolling...remember, this is the man who single-handedly trolled the Middle East!...and even more impressively, he's the man who famously shot his lawyer and got away with it, an accomplishment few Americans can claim and has made Cheney one of the most popular and admired Americans living today...so no-one trolls the Dickhead, not the Iraquis, not the American Bar Association, and especially not a certain upstart, part-time reporter and internet talking head who will remain nameless to protect her reputation on this network
> 
> once again, *INTJ Dickhead Cheney is OK*, he has _not _been framed....what's more, we can also report that Cheney has _not _shot any lawyers this weekend--yet...but we'll be the first to break the good news when he does
> 
> now we take you back to our regular programming...


hey, knock it off! stop trying to fix my breaking news!  

Confirming, Richard Bruce Cheney had not shot any lawyers this weekend. He did, however, manage to poke his formerly shot lawyer's lawyer in the eye with a fork; neutralize a legal aide with a furry projectile, later identified as his chambermaid's gerbil (confirmed dead, due to asphyxiation); and subject an unsuspecting legal intern to severe bruising and scarring (both physical and emotional) by leaving him alone in a room with a psychopathic ISTP ninja-cat. The Bar Association is assessing damages, licking its wounds, and is seriously considering raising the bar by adding a physical (Martial Arts) dimension to the exam, making it more brutal than ever. The decision, however, has not successfully passed the legal red tape yet, so Mr. Cheney is indeed OK thus far. As for having single-handedly trolled the Middle-East, that rumor is false. As an NTJ, Richard fully commits to his projects, which meant having a full bi-manual grip on the conflict. Richard has also made a few less-than-flattering remarks in the direction of his former INTP attorney, suggesting that said attorney had failed as Richard's "right hand" in the matter, and that said attorney has proved to be an "unpatriotic, conniving, sophist motherf*%er", whose irresponsible actions forced Richard to deviate from his original plan to engage and dirty his left hand only.


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Fluff'n'Fury said:


> ) clearly that cat is an ISTP psychopath... obviously and unmarked member of feline SWAT, ruthless, precise, no empathy for those sad sad puppy eyes... I grant you that all parties involved are thinkers, who else would stop in the middle of a fight to have a think..


no, you know they're all thinkers cuz no-one stops to bawl his eyes out 

and, yes, that _is _the INTP Mastermind kitty, Putin his doggie minions in their place...doggies like to stray and, like Kim Jong-un and other wise leaders, kitty knows the importance of PR and comes out of his hideaway every now and then to demonstrate his supreme kitty powers and keep his wayward pooches in line...btw, can you tell which doggie is INTJ Dickhead?


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## FluffyTheAnarchist (Sep 9, 2013)

ae1905 said:


> no, you know they're all thinkers cuz no-one stops to bawl his eyes out
> 
> and, yes, that _is _the INTP Mastermind kitty, Putin his doggie minions in their place...doggies like to stray and, like Kim Jong-un and other wise leaders, kitty knows the importance of PR and comes out of his hideaway every now and then to demonstrate his supreme kitty powers and keep his wayward pooches in line...btw, can you tell which doggie is INTJ Dickhead?


haha... we don't know that, the doggies seem to be on the verge of a mental breakdown, such expressive faces they have! Could that be Fe showing? btw they look identical to me, maybe one being slightly more introverted than another... perhaps we've mistyped them afterall... perhaps the doggies are xNTPs, and the cat is the INTJ?


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Fluff'n'Fury said:


> hey, knock it off! stop trying to fix my breaking news!
> 
> Confirming, Richard Bruce Cheney had not shot any lawyers this weekend. He did, however, manage to poke his formerly shot lawyer's lawyer in the eye with a fork; neutralize a legal aide with a furry projectile, later identified as his chambermaid's gerbil (confirmed dead, due to asphyxiation); and subject an unsuspecting legal intern to severe bruising and scarring (both physical and emotional) by leaving him alone in a room with a psychopathic ISTP ninja-cat. The Bar Association is assessing damages, licking its wounds, and is seriously considering raising the bar by adding a physical (Martial Arts) dimension to the exam, making it more brutal than ever. The decision, however, has not successfully passed the legal red tape yet, so Mr. Cheney is indeed OK thus far. As for having single-handedly trolled the Middle-East, that rumor is false. As an NTJ, Richard fully commits to his projects, which meant having a full bi-manual grip on the conflict. Richard has also made a few less-than-flattering remarks in the direction of his former INTP attorney, suggesting that said attorney had failed as Richard's "right hand" in the matter, and that said attorney has proved to be an "unpatriotic, conniving, sophist motherf*%er", whose irresponsible actions forced Richard to deviate from his original plan to engage and dirty his left hand only.


we interrupt our regular programming to bring you this update...earlier today we reported that Dick Cheney, ex-VP and America's Favorite Gunman, was involved in an altercation this weekend with a gerbil and a fork...we now have more details and can confirm that, contrary to Carla "Fluffy" Bernstein's sensational and _underhanded_ report, Cheney has not, in fact, been implicated in any wrongdoing...on the contrary, we now know that he was an unsung hero...to tell us what happened we now bring in our man on the beat who's been covering the story...Ross, what do we know of these altercations?

thank you, Troll Master...we have been investigating this story since rumors broke earlier today and this is what we've learned....Cheney was in attendance at the American Bar Association's annual meeting this weekend where he was scheduled to give the keynote address, "Take This Lawyer and Shoot It!--How You Can Protect Your Practice Against Deranged Ex-Veeps and Other INTJ Psychopath Clientele"...as everyone knows, Cheney is an avid hunter much admired for taking down big legal names including his own lawyer and the counsel of several close friends...but his gunmanship has not gone without criticism and a group of humanist lawyers, organized under the banner "Stop Unnecessary Culling and Killing of Defenceless Interrogators, Counselors, and Kibitzers" has openly called for Cheney's arrest and detainment...they were present in full force this weekend at the ABA meeting and it was there the troubles started...it appears that while Cheney was waiting in his dressing room to go on stage, he was interrupted by noise and commotion in the hall...surprised, the he opened his door to find his bodyguard wrestling with three men...there were conflicting reports earlier today about the identity of these men, but we can now confirm one was, in fact, the lawyer of Cheney's former lawyer whom he famously shot, a second was the aide to this lawyer, and the third was a guest in the hotel staying in a room next to Cheney's...this man, whom we now know as vinniebob from Paris Texas is not a lawyer but an INTJ who was attending the meeting hoping to meet the INTJ Dickhead and get some tips on dealing with his own attorney...he says he was waiting in his room to go out for the keynote speech when he suddenly had a funny feeling where he shouldn't have been feeling funny at all...looking down he was astonished to find a gerbil frantically trying to burrow its furry little gerbil body into his nether region!...thinking he had too many drinks at lunch he reached down and grabbed the gerbil when suddenly a cat jumped on his face!...panicked, vinnie bob jumped up and ran out into the hall where he ran straight into a scrum of men wrestling and yelling at each other...it was at this point that Cheney opened his door and saw the commotion outside...being a peacemaker at heart (and having a pacemaker planted in his heart), he jumped in to separate the men...but when the lawyer realized who was pulling his hair, he immediately turned on Cheney, and using a tactic he'd employed many times to make courtroom witnesses cooperate, he grabbed the Dickhead by his throat and squeezed hard with both hands (this tactic is tested in the Bar Association's examination and is intended to stress the importance of getting both hands dirty if you wanna do a legal job right)...startled and gulping for air, Cheney stumbled back into his room struggling to loosen the grip on his throat...seeing no way to fend off the expert litigator (the guy charges $800/hr so he _knows _his chokeholds) Cheney did the only thing he could and reached for the fork on the room-service tray (you learn a thing or two when you run Guantanamo!)

the lawyer is presently undergoing emergency surgery to have a fork removed from his head--doctors think he will make a full recovery and be back on the courtroom floor soon, choking other defendants...his legal aide suffered only minor scratches and bruises and is at the lawyers side...and vinniebob?...he was scratched up, too, but is no worse for wear--in fact, he told me he's happy he came and saw first-hand how the Dickhead handles lawyers and thinks he can "put this lesson to good use"...the gerbil, I'm sorry to report, is no longer with us--he was asphyxiated when vinniebob grabbed him, but maybe this is not such an bad thing when we remember the alternative was asphyxiation by another means--and I don't mean the cat...so that is the real story of what happened this weekend at the ABA meeting

to summarize, then: Dick Cheney is OK and can now stick a fork in his growing list of accomplishments--the man is truly an American Psycho...back to you, Troll Master

thank you, Ross, that is quite a story, isn't it...but speaking of that cat, do we know what happened to him?

no, Troll Master, we don't...I talked to vinniebob and he says the cat was still clawing his face when he ran out in the hall, but he can't remember when it stopped scratching him, and it was gone when security came...but we are continuing to look into this and will let you know as soon as we find anything new

very interesting...well, thank you Ross...so there you have it, folks...INTJ Dickhead Cheney in a kurfuffle this weekend but _not _as the villain as was reported earlier, but as the good samaritan trying to break up a fight...but why should that come as a suprise?...the Dickhead has always been a peacemaker, a bringer of people together...he did it in Afganistan, he did it in Iraq, and now he's doing it at the American Bar Association...the question we should all be asking is, why has this man not won the Nobel Peace Prize?...how can that happen?

and with that, we now return to our regular programming....


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## FluffyTheAnarchist (Sep 9, 2013)

ae1905 said:


> we interrupt our regular programming to bring you this update...earlier today we reported that Dick Cheney, ex-VP and America's Favorite Gunman, was involved in an altercation this weekend with a gerbil and a fork...we now have more details and can confirm that, contrary to Carla "Fluffy" Bernstein's sensational and _underhanded_ report, Cheney has not, in fact, been implicated in any wrongdoing...while it appears that Cheney _was _involved in an altercation with a gerbil and a fork, we now know that he was in fact the unsung hero and not the much maligned villain as reported earlier...to tell us what happened we now bring in our man on the beat who's been covering the story...Ross, what do we know of these altercations?
> 
> thank you, Troll Master...we have been investigating this story since rumors broke earlier today and this is what we've learned....Cheney was in attendance at the American Bar Association's annual meeting this weekend where he was scheduled to give the keynote address, "Take This Lawyer and Shoot It!--How You Can Protect Your Practice Against Deranged Ex-Veeps and Other INTJ Psychopath Clientele"...as everyone knows, Cheney is an avid hunter much admired for taking down big legal names including his own lawyer and the counsel of several close friends...but his gunmanship has not gone without criticism and a group of humanist lawyers, organized under the banner "Stop Uwanted Culling and Killing of Defenceless Interrogators, Counselors, and Kibitzers" has openly called for Cheney's arrest and detainment...they were present in full force this weekend at the ABA meeting and it was there the troubles started...it appears that while Cheney was waiting in his dressing room to go on stage, he was interrupted by noise and commotion in the hall...surprised, the he opened his door to find his bodyguard wrestling with three men...there were conflicting reports earlier today about the identity of these men, but we can now confirm one was, in fact, the lawyer of Cheney's former lawyer whom he famously shot, a second was the aide to this lawyer, and the third was a guest in the hotel staying in a room next to Cheney's...this man, whom we now know as vinniebob from Paris Texas is not a lawyer but an INTJ who was attending the meeting hoping to meet the INTJ Dickhead and get some tips on dealing with his own attorney...he says he was waiting in his room to go out for the keynote speech when he suddenly had a funny feeling where he shouldn't have been feeling funny at all...looking down he was astonished to find a gerbil frantically trying to burrow its furry little gerbil body into his nether region!...thinking he had too many drinks at lunch he reached down and grabbed the gerbil when suddenly a cat jumped on his face!...panicked, vinnie bob jumped up and ran out into the hall where he ran straight into a scrum of men wrestling and yelling at each other...it was at this point that Cheney opened his door and saw the commotion outside...being a peacemaker at heart (and having a pacemaker planted in his heart), he jumped in to separate the men...but when the lawyer realized who was pulling his hair, he immediately turned on Cheney, and using a tactic he'd employed many times to make courtroom witnesses cooperate, he grabbed the Dickhead by his throat and squeezed hard with both hands (this tactic is tested in the Bar Association's examination and is intended to stress the importance of getting both hands dirty if you wanna do a legal job right)...startled and gulping for air, Cheney stumbled back into his room struggling to loosen the grip on his throat...seeing no way to fend off the expert litigator (the guy charges $750/hr so he _knows _his chokeholds) Cheney did the only thing he could and reached for the fork on the room-service tray (you learn a thing or two when you run Guantanamo!)
> 
> ...


Oh my god, you wrote an opus!!! reading it...
@_ae1905_:
LOOOOL!!!! ))) That was hysterical!!! Nobel Peace Prize, huh? We'd probably need some pointers from Obama.

@_vinniebob_ -- you are famous now! What might have seemed as just another colorful weekend is all over the news! Care to comment? ))

*@Geoffrey Felis* -- we regret to inform you, your gerbil has been found.


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Fluff'n'Fury said:


> haha... we don't know that, the doggies seem to be on the verge of a mental breakdown, such expressive faces they have! Could that be Fe showing? btw they look identical to me, maybe one being slightly more introverted than another... perhaps we've mistyped them afterall... perhaps the doggies are xNTPs, and the cat is the INTJ?


haha, one is ENTP extroverting Ne-Fe, the other is INTJ influenced by ENTP and learning to play with his neglected Ne...the INTJ follows the ENTP...but it's no use cuz the cat still gets the best of them


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Fluff'n'Fury said:


> Oh my god, you wrote an opus!!! reading it...
> @_ae1905_:
> LOOOOL!!!! ))) That was hysterical!!! Nobel Peace Prize, huh? We'd probably need some pointers from Obama.
> 
> ...



I really liked your "underhanded" report--it was very funny ))

so I had to write something to tie up all of your story lines

and now you know why it's important to get the best legal help you can buy


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## FluffyTheAnarchist (Sep 9, 2013)

ae1905 said:


> haha, one is ENTP extroverting Ne-Fe, the other is INTJ influenced by ENTP and learning to play with his neglected Ne...the INTJ follows the ENTP...but it's no use cuz the cat still gets the best of them


What's interesting here though, is that the cat is merely practicing self-defense, and the dogs are actually trolling... that's why the cat is a far more likely candidate to be an INTJ minding its own business, while the dogs are probably just bored xNTPs. )


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## FluffyTheAnarchist (Sep 9, 2013)

ae1905 said:


> I really liked your "underhanded" report--it was very funny ))
> 
> so I had to write something to tie up all of your story lines
> 
> and now you know why it's important to get the best legal help you can buy


)) well, your version of the story hands down takes the cake!!


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

that cat was @Geoffrey Felis and the fight was over mr fudge MY pet gerbil
G.F. was trying to get it from me when the cat fight erupted


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Fluff'n'Fury said:


> What's interesting here though, is that the cat is merely practicing self-defense, and the dogs are actually trolling... that's why the cat is a far more likely candidate to be an INTJ minding its own business, while the dogs are probably just bored xNTPs. )


it's like judo class where the instructor tells the students to attack him, the cat is demonstrating his kitty powers to the doggies...and the cat goes on counter-attack, too


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## FluffyTheAnarchist (Sep 9, 2013)

ae1905 said:


> it's like judo class where the instructor tells the students to attack him, the cat is demonstrating his kitty powers to the doggies...and *the cat goes on counter-attack*, too


of course it does! It's an INTJ cat, not Jesus!


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Fluff'n'Fury said:


> of course it does! It's an INTJ cat, not Jesus!


 so is my avatar an INTJ kitty?...are INTPs really doggies?


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## FluffyTheAnarchist (Sep 9, 2013)

ae1905 said:


> so is my avatar an INTJ kitty?...are INTPs really doggies?


yours? of course not! )) just look at it! ) it's obviously caught doing something that's considered illegal in at least a few countries... ) could be an ENTJ, but the mesmerized maniacal stare, the jaw ajar, and the lack of exec. decorum does suggest an xxTP 

doggies, just like people, come in all creeds and personalities.  for instance Samoyeds, close relatives of arctic foxes, are very sharp and sly and are rumored to be undercover cats...  (don't know why cats, foxes seem to be a far more logical choice)


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Fluff'n'Fury said:


> yours? of course not! )) just look at it! ) it's obviously caught doing something that's considered illegal in at least a few countries... ) could be an ENTJ, but the mesmerized maniacal stare, the jaw ajar, and the lack of exec. decorum does suggest an xxTP
> 
> doggies, just like people, come in all creeds and personalities.  for instance Samoyeds, close relatives of arctic foxes, are very sharp and sly and are rumored to be undercover cats...  (don't know why cats, foxes seem to be a far more logical choice)


you think foxes are better choices for INTPs?...INTPs often choose owls, but an owl is not much of a troll so I don't think it fits...fox could work cuz they can be quite playful...but cats are *lazy*, that is, until they have to do something then they get it done fast...this makes them very much like INTPs


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## FluffyTheAnarchist (Sep 9, 2013)

ae1905 said:


> you think foxes are better choices for INTPs?...INTPs often choose owls, but an owl is not much of a troll so I don't think it fits...fox could work cuz they can be quite playful...but cats are *lazy*, that is, until they have to do something then they get it done fast...this makes them very much like INTPs


Cats _can_ be lazy, I had a cat once who was a true feline amazon!  She was a warrior, I should have learned some leadership skills from that cat! ) She was not lazy at all, had the steely resolve of a serial killer, was always determined, really had a no nonsense attitude... she was the smallest kitten in her cage at the shelter, not particularly furry, but she was the boss in that cage!  when my roommate at the time and I took her out for a little play time, then put her back she hung tightly to the cage door, screamed at the top of her lungs to be freed...we did end up adopting her.... and that cat went completely nuts over pizza! 

long story short, I think any animal could fit any type.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Alright since when are ENTJs and INFPs trolls?


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## FluffyTheAnarchist (Sep 9, 2013)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> Alright since when are ENTJs and INFPs trolls?


Why single out ENTJs and INFPs?


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Fluff'n'Fury said:


> Why single out ENTJs and INFPs?


There's only one way to settle this. A troll-off. In fact, maybe it's time we have a troll olympics. Teams from each type competing for the coveted title of Troll Master! 

And INFP would smoke the ENTJs.  Just look at the Criticize thread for a clue about who would do well.


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## FluffyTheAnarchist (Sep 9, 2013)

ae1905 said:


> There's only one way to settle this. A troll-off. In fact, maybe it's time we have a troll olympics. Teams from each type competing for the coveted title of Troll Master!
> 
> And INFP would smoke the ENTJs.  Just look at the Criticize thread for a clue about who would do well.


haha.. a troll-off sounds like fun! Team ENFP would probably be cheerleading.... randomly...  wishing _everybody_ good luck. I want to see an xNTP/ESTP troll-off!


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Fluff'n'Fury said:


> haha.. a troll-off sounds like fun! Team ENFP would probably be cheerleading.... randomly...


haha, like how you do everything else?  

but the ENFPs would have a team, too, and they could do very well with Ne, so don't sell your type short, you could give the NTPs a run for it


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## FluffyTheAnarchist (Sep 9, 2013)

ae1905 said:


> haha, like how you do everything else?
> 
> but the ENFPs would have a team, too, and they could do very well with Ne, so don't sell your type short, you could give the NTPs a run for it


Nah, you are confusing us with the INFPs


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Fluff'n'Fury said:


> Nah, you are confusing us with the INFPs


nah, I know the diff betwn the two and ENFPs can do the Ne thing even better if they want to...I wonder if Se would stand a chance?


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## FluffyTheAnarchist (Sep 9, 2013)

ae1905 said:


> nah, I know the diff betwn the two and ENFPs can do the Ne thing even better if they want to...I wonder if Se would stand a chance?


I don't see why not, just think of Kitty!


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

ae1905 said:


> so is my avatar an INTJ kitty?...are INTPs really doggies?


INTP's are confused dog's who think they are kitty's


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