# Disliking hugs, an inferior Se thing or a dominant Si trait?



## ArmchairCommie (Dec 27, 2015)

From what I have gathered about Ni-dominants who possess and inferior Se function is that they are highly sensitive to loud noises and overwhelming experiences. However Si dominants also possess a similar trait as they care immensely for their own physical well being and being well in tune with their bodies they are not prone to go out seeking thrills for the sake of thrills.

I personally dislike hugs as whenever my ESTP friend gives me a bro hug I feel immensely uncomfortable and feel like he is violating my personal space. (Though the fact that he is rather muscular and I am rather weak may contribute to this feeling of being squashed.) Even when someone just gives me a tap on the shoulder I feel like having a heart attack as I am very sensitive and don't want anyone to touch me.

So I'm wondering if the Se inferior concept of being overwhelmed by sensory details is also a trait of Si dominants who are highly sensitive to any changes in their environment.


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## Aelthwyn (Oct 27, 2010)

I'm not sure this is something that has much relation to functions. At least I've seen too much diversity among the same types about whether or not they like hugs/touching. 

What you're used to from family/culture seems to affect this

being a 'Highly Sensitive Person' sounds like it might tie in to what you described, but then there are HSPs who like affection

so... I dunno


my INTJ best friend is very uncomfortable with hugs, but then none of her family is very touchy. my ISTJ mother loves them, but my grandma was certainly a 'hugger'. *shrug*


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## beth x (Mar 4, 2010)

I'm not much into hugging unless there is a certain familiarity with a person. I dislike it intensely when someone rubs my arm or back in the one spot.


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## The Exception (Oct 26, 2010)

I like hugs. I just want the person to ask me first. I don't like people touching me without my permission. It feels like an intrusion on my physical space. I know most of the time, it's just some peoples' way of showing affection and sometimes it's a cultural thing. I still prefer they ask me first.


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## Ixim (Jun 19, 2013)

I like people touching me...oh wai! This ain't about that!

...khm! Do continue! Please do!


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## FearAndTrembling (Jun 5, 2013)

People know I don't like being touched and will sometimes do it to annoy me. I am high strung in general.


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## Kitty23 (Dec 27, 2015)

My INFJ friend is much more touchy feely than I am. Hence, she likes hugs, and I generally don't.


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## Vahyavishdapaya (Sep 2, 2014)

I'm usually uncomfortable with physical contact (apart from handshakes and that), unless the other person initiates it. Then I have no problems at all, so long as it is reserved for greeting and saying goodbye. I think my reluctance to initiate (bear in mind, if you do it to me just a couple of times, then I won't have any issue initiating on subsequent occasions, only on the very first one or two go's) is partially because of my MBTI type but also because I grew up in a household where physical displays of affection were extremely rare.


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## Valtire (Jan 1, 2014)

There's probably a mild correlation with Fe (emotional expression) and Si (comfort). Apart from that, no.


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## Stevester (Feb 28, 2016)

Actually sounds more like a Fe vs. Fi thing.

Fe probably loves hugs because it's a outward form of expression, whereas Fi is probably uncomfortable with hugs as they find it to be pointless social protocol more than anything.

Granted, a repressed Fe user (IxTP) probably hates hugs too.


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## Mizmar (Aug 12, 2009)

Stevester said:


> Actually sounds more like a Fe vs. Fi thing.
> 
> Fe probably loves hugs because it's a outward form of expression, whereas Fi is probably uncomfortable with hugs as they find it to be pointless social protocol more than anything.


Not for me. I generally like hugs because I find them physically soothing, not because they are an outward form of expression. I _don't_ like being hugged when I feel grimy, as when I've been outside working on a hot, humid day. In neither case is social protocol an issue one way or another. For me it has to do with physical sensation not (Jungian) feeling.


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## The_Wanderer (Jun 13, 2013)

Hugs = outward emotional displays = Fe.


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## Wisteria (Apr 2, 2015)

That is quite an ISTJ thing to say, due to conscious Si and weak Fe. 
To be fair though, I don't like hugs either. It be related to a persons upbringing as well.


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## Schizoid (Jan 31, 2015)

ArmchairCommie said:


> From what I have gathered about Ni-dominants who possess and inferior Se function is that they are highly sensitive to loud noises and overwhelming experiences. However Si dominants also possess a similar trait as they care immensely for their own physical well being and being well in tune with their bodies they are not prone to go out seeking thrills for the sake of thrills.
> 
> I personally dislike hugs as whenever my ESTP friend gives me a bro hug I feel immensely uncomfortable and feel like he is violating my personal space. (Though the fact that he is rather muscular and I am rather weak may contribute to this feeling of being squashed.) Even when someone just gives me a tap on the shoulder I feel like having a heart attack as I am very sensitive and don't want anyone to touch me.
> 
> So I'm wondering if the Se inferior concept of being overwhelmed by sensory details is also a trait of Si dominants who are highly sensitive to any changes in their environment.



Does this sound like you?

Muddling through Mayhem: Adult Attachment Disorders: Dismissive


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## Lelu (Jun 1, 2015)

Hugs are fine, I just get completely blindsided when I don't see them coming.

It's like:

"Hey how are you?"
*They hug me*
Inside my head: ("Wtf are you doing?")
Outward reaction: "Oh wow, nice to see you too"

There's might be a correlation, but hugs are probably just a personal preference thing.


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## ArmchairCommie (Dec 27, 2015)

Sorry that I haven't been answering people in this thread, I sort of forgot about it for the past few days, lol.



Stevester said:


> Actually sounds more like a Fe vs. Fi thing.
> 
> Fe probably loves hugs because it's a outward form of expression, whereas Fi is probably uncomfortable with hugs as they find it to be pointless social protocol more than anything.
> 
> Granted, a repressed Fe user (IxTP) probably hates hugs too.


I for one do find anything wrong with social protocols, I always do this cool secret handshake with my ESTP friend even though it has no real purpose. And I am not against outward forms of expressions, I am just introverted so I am more shy than most. And what you said about IxTPs could be true as my INTP friend at the very least hates physical contact just as much as I do.



Schizoid said:


> Does this sound like you?
> 
> Muddling through Mayhem: Adult Attachment Disorders: Dismissive


Hm that is indeed rather interesting as when I was a child in elementary school I often felt as though my parents were distant figures despite there location right next to me. If I had to type them I would probably say that my mother is an INFP and my father is an ISTJ, though I could also see my mother being an INTP and my father being an ISTP. In general they are both very introverted and they don't really display many outward emotions to anyone.

Also if you asked my whether or not I had Dismissive Attachment Disorder a year ago I would say yes as I didn't care about people at all back then when I was just a stereotypical nerd. As a result of my fear of people and emotions I neglected all my friendships which is probably the reason why I mistyped myself as an INTJ at first. 

But nowadays I am fairly sociable, I try to be nice to all my friends, however little they may be, and my social life is actually somewhat existent, though my ESFP friend keeps saying that I need to get out of the house one of these days, haha.



The_Wanderer said:


> Hugs = outward emotional displays = Fe.


Well obviously not in my case as I am an ISFJ. After all, Fe is really just about caring about people and trying to be sociable and all. And since caring about people is my primary mission in life I clearly use Fe.



jennalee said:


> That is quite an ISTJ thing to say, due to conscious Si and weak Fe.
> To be fair though, I don't like hugs either. It be related to a persons upbringing as well.


Well in the past I identified as an ISTJ but I realized that this identification was false due to the fact that I care far more about people than I do about inanimate objects. I am the exact opposite of materialistic and if I lost all my material possessions tomorrow I would only be disappointed in the fact that I could no longer access the internet. Though it could be possible that my time acting as an ISTJ has had a lingering effect on me and caused me to still occasionally think in a "ISTJ-esque" manner.


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## me and my spoon (Mar 18, 2016)

Hugs, at first glance, consist of two things:


Connection with another & emotional bonding
Positive sensory stimulus

So the correlates in Jungian terms are most directly Fe and Sensation. 

Types that suppress these functions will therefore be more likely to dislike hugs, because they either are uncomfortable with such emotional expression (the case with suppressed Fe) or are sensitive to sensory stimulus, especially sudden/spontaneous ones (the case with suppressed Se). 

Also, I'd say Introverts will be less likely to like hugs, as they -- and here I'm going by the neurological definition of introversion, which may or may not correlate 1:1 with Jungian Introversion -- have a higher baseline of mental activity sans stimulus than extroverts. 

Therefore they are more easily overwhelmed by stimulus. Now, I might be overstating the effect this might have here since most people, if they are introverts, are only mild introverts, and in any case, the effect will be much less than someone with HSP (although this, I assume, is typically an introvert's condition). 

It could in fact be that I'm mixing up Introversion and Sensation, but I'm sticking with it because I'd have thought Intuition types have a harder time dealing with sensory input and even dealing with external information in general (as Intuition gives rise to the tendency to introspect -- even the ENxx types.)

I conjecture also that F types in general will have (the majority of the time) an easier time with hugging than T types.

Socionics off-side:

Prominent Si types are by definition fussy about their physical comfort and their feeling of balance and whatnot. So if they don't feel like physical contact at the moment, they really will not want their equilibrium disturbed. 

Now, this coupled with Extraverted Ethics, will probably augment this a little, such that they will be more tolerant - less so with SEI as Si is still dominant of Fe, and even less so with the ESE.

But for the Si/Te types, along with Introverted Ethics and its inherently personal value judgments (e.g. "I usually can't stand hugging" *), I can imagine they will be more likely to not enjoy hugging usually. 

* Of course it could be the complete opposite evaluation, but still, Te predominates (which wants to cut out any unnecessary parts of a process, and is not orientated towards interpersonal connection so might see it as a waste of time).


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

I don't like hugging strangers or in other ways expressing physical intimacy with people I'm not comfortable with. I think it's mostly related to upbringing though, and how used you are in controlling your own physical space.


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## RedOnion (Mar 7, 2016)

Hugs or touching with the right people are ok by me. Children are usually exceptional: as much I tend to have little interest in them, I'll entertain a hug if they need it. Not wholly comfortable with hugging friends, even close ones. Something about 'too intimate' goes off in my head and makes me a little uncomfortable. Strangely, I give kisses on the cheek freely with friends. Just not hugs. Could also be because I greatly dislike crowded places unless it's a rock concert, I somehow feel my personal space is being intruded upon especially when people stand too close.


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## Pinina (Jan 6, 2015)

If anything I think it's correlated to Fe, but I'd guess how you're raised, your comfort sphere, etc has more to do with it. I like hugs, when I want to, but it has to be by choice, and only with people I'm close to and comfortable with.


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## goodthankyou (Mar 25, 2016)

I like hugs! I like giving hugs and I like getting hugs! I am not beyond hugging a new friend if I feel they are ok with it, especially if it's appropriate for the occassion such as a simple good bye see you next week hug. But I generally can tell who does and doesn't like to be hugged and I act accordingly.


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## sloop (Jan 19, 2015)

I don't like hugs. I'm not a physically affectionate person, minus the occasional touching of the shoulder. I _rarely_ initiate hugs. I'm not even that verbally affectionate either.

I don't really express my love through any of the conventional methods, which can be difficult sometimes because I can't properly convey my love to the people I love - despite feeling love very deeply.

Like I love my mother and will do nearly anything for her, but I don't know when was the last time I hugged her or told her I love her. I suppose this is okay though because she isn't physically or verbally affectionate either (which is ironic considering the ISFJ stereotype), but we're aware of our mutual love for each other.


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## anaraqueen (May 14, 2015)

i love hugs but i always ask when i hug someone because i know some people don't like

i don't really know if it's related to functions tho (most of people said Fe but i'm a Fi user)


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## Meret (Nov 28, 2015)

anaraqueen said:


> i love hugs but i always ask when i hug someone because i know some people don't like


Me too. I try to "read" the person first, only directly asking them if I'm very unsure. I like hugs. Some people seem more huggable than others to me, but it's not exactly related to whether I like them more than others. Some people I could just cuddle all the time, even if they're not my best friends, and with some it's always awkward.


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## PerilousPirahna (Jan 16, 2016)

It's more of an inferior Fe or a dominant Fi sort of trait. IxTPs find the act of hugging to have no sort of purpose and can get pretty uncomfortable when someone hugs them, since it publicly indicates the two people are in some kind of relationship or bond. Some Fi doms believe that hugging would be worthless, not actually out of love, but rather to boost somebody's ego.


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## VacantPsalm (Dec 22, 2014)

I usually dislike touching as well, but there are times I kind of like it. I've been wondering recently if it has to do with physical touch being my main language of love. Hugs say a LOT of information with may or may not be true. It's like dumping our emotions out and I don't want my emotions out like that.

This comic describes me, except include my baby nieces in the bottom one.


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## Vox (Mar 16, 2012)

I imagine it's influenced more by upbringing...

Personally, I love the idea of hugs and affectionate physical contact probably because I really desire and enjoy feeling close to people, and when I'm close to someone I tend to initiate physical contact somewhat often; but as exemplified by my reaction a couple days ago when a friend, without any warning, pulled me in and put her arm around me in public, my receptiveness toward hugs and the like varies drastically by circumstance. It usually has to be on my own terms; normally, I'm at most _okay _with unexpected physical contact _with someone I am very comfortable with_. Even if I'm given due warning and the opportunity to back out, it can sometimes still feel nothing more than an obligation/acquiescence to a request. My friend was dismayed by my reaction because I had told her before about my desire for close physical contact, and she thought she was doing that for me. I don't blame her, since at the time I didn't tell her about the nuance involved in that desire.

Generally speaking, I am very sensitive to physical contact. I think it's because my parents were not at all physically affectionate, and not generally affectionate either. So I'm not at all used to it, and get jumpy and shut down a bit when people touch me when I'm not ready for it. Even though I desire physical intimacy. (Interestingly, this extends to physical contact with animals and plants, to pretty much everything really (but because inanimate objects are, well...inanimate, there's less of a concern for me), because I get really anxious about making them uncomfortable or hurting them in some way; I kind of generalize my experience to everyone (/-thing) else. I tend to handle things very gently, unless it's something I've had a lot of exposure to/experience with.)

Type-wise, I'm an ENP, so I don't have inferior Se or dominant Si. (Rethinking T or F at this point, so not sure what to say on the Fi/Fe aspect to this subject. Though I think my idealized/conceptual view of hugs seems to align better with Fi.)


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## Yukeetah (Jun 9, 2015)

Si-dom reporting in.
Yes, I've always been *highly* sensitive to loud noises and intense sensory stimuli. e.g. I used to listen to music on maybe 10% volume because I just couldn't deal with anything that made me feel uncomfortable. Yes I really care for my own physical well being so I'll sometimes avoid new and uncomfortable situations, basically anything that forces me out of my comfort zone. (confession: I never rode a roller coaster in my whole life) I seek comfort and security and I really enjoy being hugged by people I feel comfortable around. However, if a stranger was to hug me I'd be confused and irritated.


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## Pinina (Jan 6, 2015)

I don't think it's caused by type, though there might be a slight correlation.


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## sch4d3nfr3ud3 (Jul 26, 2015)

I'm very particular about physical contact. I prefer when I'm the one initiating it, otherwise I feel just awkward and trapped.


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## Wild (Jul 14, 2014)

ArmchairCommie said:


> Even when someone just gives me a tap on the shoulder I feel like having a heart attack as I am very sensitive and don't want anyone to touch me.


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## jcal (Oct 31, 2013)

I love hugs... from my wife and kids. Beyond them, it's awkward. Even with other relatives or close friends it can be somewhat uncomfortable. From casual or business acquaintances it just seems like a bizarre thing to do. I don't freak out and usually go along with it, but I can't help but wonder, "Why the hell they are you doing this?". I guess I just think of hugs as something very personal and intimate and its awkward when they come from people who don't "qualify".

I'm not sure I see much of a connection with my dominant Si... feels more like Fi's aversion to outward expression. 

BTW, physical touch is my number one love language. I'm not sure whether my aversion to unwelcomed hugs is in spite of that, or because of it (i.e., a hug is a declaration of love that just doesn't exist with these random huggers).


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

ISTJs seem to have Issues with being touched overall. My ISTJ friends don't really like hugs, not because they don't like you, because they don't think it necessary for this display of affection to show you care. I always give them big warm hugs anyway, and when I feel them pulling away from me I hug them tighter. I've been told I give amazing hugs, so they get one whether they like it or not ha !!....they don't know but I think they secretly love my hugs but feel too awkward to say so :kitteh:


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## Tad Cooper (Apr 10, 2010)

I like hugs from people I want hugs from, otherwise I go tense and feel very uncomfortable! 
So if I've been dating someone for a while then hugs are really great, also from family and one or two close friends. Anyone else and it makes me a bit unsure how to deal with them.

I think it's more related to culture etc as someone mentioned, also maybe HSP variations (I'm HSP but the type thats overwhelmed easily by people and needs a bubble of space to feel okay and think clearly).


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## owlet (May 7, 2010)

I'm probably neither Se inferior or Si dominant and hugs from certain people are some of the worst things ever. I love hugs from people I'm close to and feel secure around, but others inspire a great repulsion and I want to sprint in the other direction.


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## Silent Theory (Nov 1, 2014)

Hmm, I'm not certain if this relates to functions but if anything I think the feeling functions would be more relevant. I hypothesize that pleasure in receiving hugs has much more to do with comfort in emotional expression rather than of physiological response (though this is also a factor).

Just to give some input with hugs and types, I'm an INFJ and personally am very uncomfortable with hugs. I am not a very touchy feely person, emotionally expressive, or too affectionate for that matter (unless it is with my husband). I especially dislike those overwhelming hugs that are straight on and are intense in embrace with people who think you "need" a hug and then overdo it ... I go along with it for their own sake but I don't need your sympathy and please stop intruding on my personal space.


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## MisterPerfect (Nov 20, 2015)

I like being admired, and shown affection, I also very reserved though and so wont ask for anything. I like hugs. Im an INTJ though. Does that help answer your theory?


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## phoenixmarie (Jun 28, 2013)

I'm not a fan of hugs, unless it's from someone I deeply care about. But I have my reasons.


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## niss (Apr 25, 2010)

There are several reasons for disliking physical contact when we don't see it coming. It goes beyond cognitive functions and involves emotions, feelings, experiences, connecting and love languages. 

It is more of a correlation, but I've noticed that introverted, thinking, judgers are much more likely to express discomfort with hugs, and extroverted, feeling, perceivers are more likely to be okay with hugs. The other types fall in between these extremes on a continuum. 

Speaking for my own type, ISTJ's are usually love hugs from people with whom they have a deep connection, are okay with non-surprise hugs when the social situation demands it, but abhor hugs that are outside of this narrow criteria.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

@_ArmchairCommie_

I'm not particularly fond of hugs, but I've learned the value of them. I suppose that's my tertiary Fe?


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## Spiren (May 12, 2016)

It's not an Se v Si or Fe v Fi dichotomy IMO, not that I've observed or read. I'd wager it has a lot more to do with 'love languages', company and backgrounds.

I dislike being touched casually all together, I'm only all right with physical contact with girlfriends or friends who randomly (and sparingly) hug me. My family aren't an affectionate lot, neither verbally or physically.


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## Paradox07 (Dec 30, 2015)

The physical sensation of a hug isn’t what makes me uncomfortable, but rather it’s the expected affection that is supposed to be mutually shared during. Physical touch of any kind is personal for me and I would rather share it with somebody I’m in a relationship with.


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## Monroe (May 13, 2016)

I don't really care for hugs early on in a relationship. It depends on the context of the situation and the comfort of both people involved. I also don't like PDA tbh.


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## Wolf (Mar 20, 2016)

Inferior Se and HSP Individual. 

So far, I have disliked physical contact with everyone. Regardless if I considered them family, friend, or random. 

It just never feels right for me, my body temperature increases to an uncomfortable state.


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## Amy (Jan 15, 2015)

I don't think so. I'm not so comfortable with people hugging me and touching, unless they are my relatives :tongue:
It's just that I don't know what they mean with hugs. Is it affection? Love in a deeper way? Asking for something :tongue:?


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## VoodooDolls (Jul 30, 2013)

I feel unconfortable having sex with a girl even if i know her in a certain level, like semi friends and shit. 
First three times, then they always keeps asking for more and i make sure i deliever high quality material.


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## Soul Kitchen (May 15, 2016)

As mentioned before, disliking hugs has nothing to do with functions. Typology is not the be-all and end-all to who a person is and what they like; I would instead describe typology as being broad-strokes as to the ways in which some people are able to process things more differently than others.

Personally speaking, I love receiving hugs from just about anyone, although I don't just hand them out willy-nilly because I have to consider that person's comfort zone and their cultural environment. Asian people tend to be more reserved in physical contact, for instance, as I've learnt from experience. I generally only offer hugs to people who I feel close to or who I know are comfortable with that sort of thing.

I should also note that discomfort with physical contact is a hallmark of Autism Spectrum Disorder. I don't consider a person to have a problem just because they don't like hugs, but if you dislike hugs and have other traits of the disorder, that would be something I suggest you look into if you haven't already been diagnosed.


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## Kitsune Love (Jul 8, 2014)

I'm an INFJ and I love hugs.
I'll tolerate hugs from acquaintances even though it may make me uncomfortable if we just kind of ran in to each other on the street, but I really love hugs from friends and family.
Now all I need is a nice ENxP to cuddle up with and I'll be set xD


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## cotti (Aug 24, 2014)

In my experience all INxJs and ISxJs were higly sensitive to loud noises and overwhelming stimuli, but noone of them actually hated being hugged. To be honest I am a little bit confused because I generally dislike being touched but I really like being touched in such a sponteneous way: I really like like and find it fun when an ExxP touches me (for example I loved when my ESFP friend touched me) .


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## kinkaid (Jan 26, 2016)

I really, really do not like to be touched except a few situations. If my mom hugs me on my birthday or if any of my shorties hug me it can range from tolerable to pleasant. When it's pleasant it's like maybe, just maybe I do belong to this species. For all the hugs I've ever got from the right person at the right time, thank you. 

If it's someone I don't know, don't like, or especially work with, I hate to be touched.. I will squirm and think about how much prison time I would face if they were hospitalized with a missing arm. Could I make it look like an accident if their arm was found partially digested in my gastrointestinal tract? Never talk to the police INTJ. Never talk to the police. 

The only explanation I can think of is touch implies trust to me. On this planet I trust like 9000 dogs, 7 people and a bartender. Everyone else should refrain from touching me without expressed written consent.


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

Certain people don't like to be touched, I think it is related more with nature than anything, not type. I wasn't touched much as a kid growing up, but I love to give and get hugs because it is part of my nature to love this kind of affection. People who don't like hugs just don't by nature, it doesn't really say anything about their type. Maybe they had a bad experience , or feel Ikky when touched, IDK, I can't relate as I give and take the best hugs in the entire world, ha ! squeeze me please, heh.


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## MsBossyPants (Oct 5, 2011)

I don't like people with whom I have a casual acquaintance hugging me, 
especially if it's a Fe-based "this is what people do" kind of social thing. 

We just had lunch. It was nice to see you, but it's time to go. 
It's not like I'm going off on suicide SEAL misssion. 
I'll see you next week. Get a grip.


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## The Dude (May 20, 2010)

I don't think it is either.


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## Dalien (Jul 21, 2010)

If I hug you, it's for much much more than a see ya later. Sometimes, I might hug you with my eyes and don't flip out it's not a rapey kind of thing. I don't run around giving hugs nor look people in the eyes. I'm standoffish or seem a bit detached for the most part... awkward feeling really. If I'm comfortable and something warrants it, I'll touch your shoulder or arm lightly and leave it that. I won't touch nor hug a person whom doesn't want it. I can tell... body language speaks volumes. I'm not really a touchy feely kind of person. As for me, there are moments when I really need a hug or just a touch and that I think goes for most people. And there are times when a hug just either makes me feel like a deer caught in a headlight or I simply just don't want one. You'll know if you pay attention. lol

Inferior Se could be an explanation. I'm always wanting to be by myself with the outside world, but I do recognize my Se and join the outside world. Yet, this is when I feel at my most comfortable with the said outside world. If any of this makes sense...


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## goodthankyou (Mar 25, 2016)

Alright so let me try this. Types most to least likely to enjoy hugging. My formula is feelers first then thinkers, extroverts first then introverts, S first then N, Fe first then Fi.

Although I'm thinking Fi does like a lot of hugs but only from people they know, but Fe is more likely to give out hugs indiscriminately. That's why I put Fe first -

ESFJ ESFP ENFJ ENFP ISFJ ISFP INFJ INFP
ESTP ESTJ ENTP ENTJ ISTP ISTJ INTP INTJ


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## Introvertia (Feb 6, 2016)

I don't know about functions.

I dislike hugs. I don't like them even when family member or friend hugs me, but I accept and tolerate hugs from them and I'll give them a hug if they ask for one. What I can't stand is when acquaintance tries to hug me, especially as a greeting, it's uncomfortable and unnecessary. I don't want them touching me and I avoid them actively in social situations. 

Fortunately most strangers use handshakes. I don't like them either, but it's better than hugs.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

I don't generally see the point in hugs. To me, the only purpose hugs have are people you haven't seen in a long time, especially family members (i.e. visiting extended family), and someone you're in a relationship with. I hardly even hug my family unless one of them volunteers like "Happy New Year!" lol. 

I am kind of weird because I think of hugging as a romantic relationship/sexual thing with anyone not blood related. So if someone hot wants to hug me I ain't gonna complain. :tongue: Other than that it's kinda like "why are you in my space?" haha. 

Handshakes are the way to go (better than high-fives too)


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## Apple Pine (Nov 27, 2014)

It's mostly connected to feelings and confidence. For example, one might hate hugs, as they don't like the person hugging them. Other might hate them, as they don't really know how to do it properly. Etc. 

Introverts are more likely to dislike hugs. 

Thinkers are more likely to dislike hugs, as hugs symbolize a bit intense emotional response. 

Now, to destroy inferior Se argument, let's compare INTJ and INFJ. Do INFJs really hate hugs, compared to others? Oh no.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

ArmchairCommie said:


> From what I have gathered about Ni-dominants who possess and inferior Se function is that they are highly sensitive to loud noises and overwhelming experiences. However Si dominants also possess a similar trait as they care immensely for their own physical well being and being well in tune with their bodies they are not prone to go out seeking thrills for the sake of thrills.
> 
> I personally dislike hugs as whenever my ESTP friend gives me a bro hug I feel immensely uncomfortable and feel like he is violating my personal space. (Though the fact that he is rather muscular and I am rather weak may contribute to this feeling of being squashed.) Even when someone just gives me a tap on the shoulder I feel like having a heart attack as I am very sensitive and don't want anyone to touch me.
> 
> So I'm wondering if the Se inferior concept of being overwhelmed by sensory details is also a trait of Si dominants who are highly sensitive to any changes in their environment.


Maybe you just don't like hugs? I'm not overly fond of them either.


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## jcal (Oct 31, 2013)

MsBossyPants said:


> I don't like people with whom I have a casual acquaintance hugging me,
> especially if it's a Fe-based "this is what people do" kind of social thing.
> 
> We just had lunch. It was nice to see you, but it's time to go.
> ...


Exactly. The hug itself doesn't really bother me and I don't dwell on it any longer than it takes to ask myself, "WTF is wrong with this person? Why are they compelled to do this?"

What DOES bother me tremendously (and takes MUCH self restraint not to react to) is when you're having a face-to-face business or other non-intimate conversation with someone (often a complete stranger) and they stand way too close and repeatedly reach out and touch your arm. What misguided thought process makes them think that this is a universal way of "connecting" with people? You're not much of "people person" if you don't understand that this is the exact opposite of "connecting" to a huge number of people. Keep your freakin' hands to yourself!


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