# What DON'T you like about INFPs?



## tinyheart (Jun 17, 2016)

So a thread was started on the INFP forum about what other types like about INFPs. :happy:

(link right here http://personalitycafe.com/infp-forum-idealists/1025970-non-infps-what-do-you-like-about-infps.html

But for some reason I prefer the question of what you DON'T like about us. With some introspecting it can turn out to be useful to some I think.

So go ahead and release your mighty fury here. roud:


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## Wellsy (Oct 24, 2011)

Their long black hair for starters

XD

mytinyheart, I suspect you may be a glutton for punishment


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## BlaxXxDiamond (Sep 25, 2016)

I had a friend that was an INFP, he is loving, kind, thoughtful, gentle, soft spoken, enjoyed long conversation, genuinely cared and was helpful, adventurous, funny, honest, etc. those are great qualities. 

What I truly didn't like about him was how fearful of change that was positive, I couldn't understand why he was so scared of doing something he new was right or wanted to do but because it was different from what he was used to he was scared to do it. He was so passive aggressive, he would beat around the bush with sharing what he wanted to share, took to long with spitting it out. Very needy, to physical, lazy, selfish, manipulative, user, and to effeminate. He was also unrealistic and romantiaszed to much. Not strong or affirmative.

I decided to do both like and dislike based on personal experience and what I've read about INFPs. 

🌹


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## warxzawa (Aug 19, 2016)

i know a couple infps, and like isfps, are one of my least fav types, i don't like their Fi, for me, technically sounds horrible, and when i see it, it's worse.


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## atamagasuita (May 15, 2016)

Sorry INFPs but i love INFPs a lot like @mytinyheart

However, there's just some unhealthy INFP that are hard to deal with

Okay based on my experience:

My mother is an NFP. and we dont get along very well. because she is insecure. she's like trapped in the past, she has hidden anger with many close people around her.. she assume that they dont like her, eventhough i think she is just assuming it.. my grandmother is an SFJ and she is nice, i dont know why my mother hates her. and my mother assumes a lot of things that is not real, like she loves calling me before a "more than a whore".. she pretends to be holy or moral, eventhough she doesnt even go to church.. she always tell me to pray always.. blah blah.. and once she sent me to a bible study classes because she thinks im a demon. she thinks her children are demon posessed.. my brothers and sisters doesnt want to go to the bible study.. because i have Fe in me, i tried going there.. so i am just alone there.. studying bible with some old woman.. But after two weeks, my mother got insane.. she said, i should stop going to bible classes, because that old woman is a cult!! xD
My mother loves to pretend she is holy, but do you know what, i have seen her, well, she made the bible a burning material. thats why i immediately go back to my own place and never came back there again. LIKE WTF.

Then, INFP coworker.. she's actualy pretty cool we get along very well, at first.. her intuitions is exhausting. xD (its only me, sorry) she thinks a lot, she thinks very deep. WTF!!!!! its like i dont wanna think anymore, but she still keep on thinking very deep like its a fucking bliss with her. xD another thing i dont like is she is very sensitive too. like my mother. there's this one time, in the email, she is just not included in the CC.. and she just cried a lot about it!!! Like WTF!! i am always not included in the CC.. and i dont fucking mind.. and besides, its okay not to be included because i dont give a fuck about what others did in this fucking day. xD and.. she's always in the pantry, and her topic is always complaints about work... WTF.. and she seems like very close to one ESFJ teammate.. i thought theyre getting along pretty well.. but guess what??? i found she hates that ESFJ!! OMG!! just like my mom. xD because she said, she is bossy, micromanager.. blah blah.. xD

wut else??

and yeah.. 

Recently, i had two NFP friends in Tapatalk. i thought they were my friends, but... they also called me a SLUT, a filthy slut.  it sucks, i cut them off. xD only because i send a bible verse. theyre like demons who got crazy when they saw the word of God. xD lol. xD 

thats all.. 

and another one.. hmm.. well forget about it.. not an NFP..


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## Absentee (Dec 17, 2016)

I hate how hard it is for INFPs to talk to you at first lol. I was talking to an INFP a while ago, and when I first started talking to her it was just like me talking to myself the entire time. I would say something, then she would repeat it back to me in her own words. I got to a point to where I was creating an entire conversation in my head before I even started talking to her, because I knew how she would respond to each thing I said. Eventually she started talking a little more, but damn it was difficult to get there. I like INFPs, but put some more effort into talking to people you aren't familiar with yet! Being an INTP, it's hard enough already trying to talk to strangers who are actually talkative lol.


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## tinyheart (Jun 17, 2016)

Wellsy said:


> Their long black hair for starters
> 
> XD
> 
> mytinyheart, I suspect you may be a glutton for punishment


Nah, I grew up with negative criticism to the point that even too much words of affirmation are scary to me. Constructive criticism on the other hand just makes me feel safe.


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## tinyheart (Jun 17, 2016)

BlaxXxDiamond said:


> What I truly didn't like about him was how fearful of change that was positive, I couldn't understand why he was so scared of doing something he new was right or wanted to do but because it was different from what he was used to he was scared to do it. He was so passive aggressive, he would beat around the bush with sharing what he wanted to share, took to long with spitting it out. Very needy, to physical, lazy, selfish, manipulative, user, and to effeminate. He was also unrealistic and romantiaszed to much. Not strong or affirmative.
> 
> &#55356;&#57145;


*pulls out the arrows in my chest* Is that so? xD

The fear is often Si, and it can happen because even if we look forward to something, new people and places mess up our internal routine and mindset. And we may not be as trusting to new people. So usually the INFP can get over it after a while. If not it may take some baby steps (get used to a new transportation route, visit a new place a few times to have an idea ready, meet a few people beforehand, plan some things beforehand, etc.).

IME I would say passive-aggressiveness, beating-around-the-bush has to do with our observations that we wish we could say but constantly don't because of the repercussions. I.e. it may not be the best moment to say something, not my business anyway, it has to be said by someone else, I must prepare myself for the other person's reaction.

Needy, lazy, selfish....well, all I can say is sorry. :blushed: Though I've heard manipulative before, and it may be subconscious. o.o

None of this is meant to be justification or excuse for his behavior, btw, only an explanation behind why it may manifest that way.


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## stathamspeacoat (Dec 10, 2016)

I have a love/hate with my INFP. On average, he's fun and kind. One of my fave people to play hockey with (he's my A.)

The things I don't like about him, I dislike quite a bit - to the point that periodically I have to reevaluate whether or not I want the friendship. He can be needy and absolutely unrealistic about how the real world works. There are times I'll just let him crash and burn because that seems to be the only way he'll "get it." He used to work with his (now) ex-gf and she's transferring to another location. He's convinced her transferring out is a secret signal that she wants to reconcile. I told him if someone wants to be with you, they aren't generally secretive about their intentions. His response was a flippant "we'll see." When she doesn't get back with him, he will undoubtedly text me about how sad he because now he can't see her all the time and perhaps develop a new theory regarding her secret reconciliation plan. It's exhausting.

His ego/self-esteem are so fragile - he'll passively try to get me to compliment him or tell him what a great player he is and that he's the best player on the team. Don't get me wrong - if someone needs a pep talk, I'm happy to give a few kind words. But it's constant. I'm not going to put other people down for his ego and it seems like that's what he wants. If we win without him, he will send me a text along the lines of "I guess you guys don't really need me." It's tiresome. Emotionally he is so high-maintenance that there are times I just ignore him because I don't have it in me.


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## Stawker (Nov 30, 2016)

What's there to like about INFPs tbh. Whiney angsty brats, all of em.


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## tinyheart (Jun 17, 2016)

@atamagasuita I don't think this is xNFP-specific, rather mental illness. She sounds delusional and/or paranoid. 

And how do you act nice to someone and not like them? 0__o That sounds crazy, but then again...I have problems. :laughing:

Can't look them in the eye without tearing up in anger and so I look at them with malice and a deep, curt tone to my voice. Saying "hi" is it. No I can't smile. If I am told to smile I just don't or I just pull the corners of my lips into something akin to a velociraptor.

And I leave as soon as I can to avoid screaming my guts out and scraping my fingers against the wall or breaking everything against their bloody face.

^wow I should be a poet lol :laughing::shocked::exterminate:


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## Glitter Polska (Feb 5, 2017)

Their need to have their feelings heard by everyone. It's just a feeling. It will pass. It's not an idea. It's a feeling. Fi is a peculiar function. There are some brilliant INFPs that have contributed enormously to the arts and philosophy. I think it's the ones who haven't found a healthy outlet in something like the arts that seem a little out there. I think that applies to all Fi doms and auxs. They need to find their "thing" more than any other type.


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## Tamehagane (Sep 2, 2014)

So you guys are thinking all day, but...
Do you spend all of your time daydreaming and thinking about emotions?
If so, why?

I appreciate your artistic tendencies, but (some of you) don't take enough time to understand your subject. I can't fully appreciate it because the stories or paintings are scientifically absurd and inconsistent.


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## Mad Scientist (Jul 31, 2016)

Not like: not in a judgmental way, but in a "why" way
Sometimes I have seen problems expressed, I offer solutions and the solution is sometimes just kind of ignored, specifically INFPs.
That's more like I don't like to see people go through the same issues and it's hard to watch, not like annoying


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## tinyheart (Jun 17, 2016)

Glitter Polska said:


> Their need to have their feelings heard by everyone. It's just a feeling. It will pass. It's not an idea. It's a feeling. Fi is a peculiar function. There are some brilliant INFPs that have contributed enormously to the arts and philosophy. I think it's the ones who haven't found a healthy outlet in something like the arts that seem a little out there. I think that applies to all Fi doms and auxs. They need to find their "thing" more than any other type.


Because it's necessary. Holding in feelings, and this applies to ExTx and IxTx who don't even have it on their top stack, is like not taking a bath. Not cleaning out the kitty litter. Not taking out the trash. Not cleaning out the stove. It's a tiresome job but it has to be done else the built-up gunk becomes hazardous. Same with emotions. For thinkers it may be easier to pass it off, but for feelers, to keep it all in, can lead to dangerous consequences.

What is said, to who, and where, and how, is another thing.

Also, emotions may not be ideas, but they are the basis of many of our ideas. Through our emotions we observe and interpret the world and how everything connects and how it affects the human condition. That is our role. And it is indeed expressed through arts and humanities. So expressing how we feel is just a part of that and combined with Ne we sorta let it out even if we don't want to.


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## tinyheart (Jun 17, 2016)

Tamehagane said:


> So you guys are thinking all day, but...
> Do you spend all of your time daydreaming and thinking about emotions?
> If so, why?
> 
> I appreciate your artistic tendencies, but (some of you) don't take enough time to understand your subject. I can't fully appreciate it because the stories or paintings are scientifically absurd and inconsistent.


I wouldn't say emotions by themselves as there are more complicated things going on.

For example, an INFP may think about something that happened, a video they watched, or a book they've been reading. All of it having to do with people. We'll take apart the individuals in our mind, be they real or not, like layers of an onion. We'll consider patterns in that individual's behavior, any small details in their appearance/actions/speech that gives away what their conscious or subconscious motives are and why. We'll consider experiences in the individuals' past (or if there is no known experience, keep in mind possibilities) that may have affected the indivifual's thinking and decisions, behaviors, etc.

With a good understanding of these you can take apart anyone. Why that person is a Republican, why this person is so sensitive to what others think of him, etc.

(........or this is just me and I've spent too much time watching crime shows....)

But we also question ideas constantly. The way an ENTP wants to debate an idea over and over, likewise an INFP will do so within the confines of their mind. And since most of the ideas and beliefs we hold are based on human nature (politics, sociology, philosophy) it is up to us using Fi to try and understand the emotional drive of any individual, even if we don't agree with them. 

(....or this is just me, as I don't know what goes on in the mind of other infps...)

Also, inaccuracy pisses me off too. :wink:


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## shazam (Oct 18, 2015)

I do not agree with this thread as I believe it is important not to give a shit about what other people think.

Edit: When it comes to yourself... culturally, make sure your shit is sorted.


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## tinyheart (Jun 17, 2016)

Mad Scientist said:


> Not like: not in a judgmental way, but in a "why" way
> Sometimes I have seen problems expressed, I offer solutions and the solution is sometimes just kind of ignored, specifically INFPs.
> That's more like I don't like to see people go through the same issues and it's hard to watch, not like annoying


Feelings are messy bastards.

INTJ still loves the person who betrayed them and is prolly using the INTJ. :dry:

ISTJ chose a person they've known for three months over family and who knows if they're worth it in the long run. :dry:

INTP chooses to do things that hurts others out of spite. :dry:

The above ppl are close to me and they just don't get it because, at least at the moment (which can last a few hours to a few decades...) they're convinced their logic can prevail over their emotions (aka: they got it all under control). But as you said, you offer solutions which go ignored and it's just that: Someone can be blinded and even when they are aware of the consequences, they may not "Get it" until consequences come.

The real problem is if that person _still doesn't get it_ even after years have passed. Then in which case you can intervene in a way that'll wake them up or just leave whatever the relationship you have with them.


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## Mad Scientist (Jul 31, 2016)

mytinyheart said:


> Feelings are messy bastards.
> 
> INTJ still loves the person who betrayed them and is prolly using the INTJ. :dry:
> 
> ...


I'm sorry I'm not clear on how this was a reply to my statement. A little confused, I'm basically giving the situation where an INFP closes out solutions that could really help them, but just don't take them and I don't want to assume why, buy it happens.


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## Mad Scientist (Jul 31, 2016)

I guess I should say that last part was confusing and I'm talking about a problem they put in front of me, not like hey don't do that, that will be bad, more like hey your in a deep hole, let's not dig any deeper.


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