# I'm a walking joke



## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)

No one has ever really liked or cared about me, I am an embarassment, and the epitome of a failure and a joke. 

My life is just a complete train wreck, and I am stuck sort of in a hole; my life seems to a never ending revolving door of rejection and being treated like a walking human piece of crap, where I am as well routinely held up to expectations I can never, or have never been able to fully meet or can meet, thus not being ever 'worthy' enough to be considered good enough or high-calibur enough to have anything to do with. 

I have been treated like shit for so much of my life, invalidated, and made fun of, that I honestly just instantly expect it everywhere I go. Honestly, when people like me, or are nice to me, it's so shocking and surprising to me It scares me. I am terrified of getting close to anyone, that I shake, I get scared, stutter, and invariably of course, it makes people judge and look down on me more; because obviously it makes me "weird" and just the more pitiful and pathetic. I am weak. 

I was born, and molded into a place where I was expected and forced to expect being an "undesirable" and being one of the have not's, that merely exists to keep the structure of human society existing, by filling out the bottom with my incredible flaws, human ugliness, weakness and failures.

I'm so sick of being poor and a walking reject; why do bad things continually always happen to me? I can't trust anyone.

I think if I was a golden encrusted mannequin doll in a designer clothing store, then I'd be normal and everyone would love me!

OH~~~SHINY SHINY EXPENSIVE PLASTIC EXPLODING MANUFACTURED GOODS

OH NO, HOW DARE I SAY THAT, I'M JUST MORE OF A SHITTY PERSON FOR BEING SO SELF-RIGHTEOUS AND HAVING OPINIONS, BLLAaGGHHH---I MUST GO FUCK MYSELF.


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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)

I'M AN INTERNET TROLL!!!

BWAAAaRGHHh


FUCK YOU!!!!


I DON'T KNOW YOU BUT YOU'D PROBABLY HATE ME, SO I HATE YOU TOO!!!!




FUCK YOU LIFEEEE!!!

I'M WEIIIIRD

BECAUSE I'M WRITING IN LARGE CAPS AND IT'S SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE,

QUICK, RUN TO THE CHURCH AND SOUND THE ALARM, THERE ARE EVIL DELIQUINTS AND HOODLUMS ABOUT WHO WANT TO DEFILE EVERY THING THAT'S GOOD AND PURE~~HOLY SHIT,
I WANT TO SUFFOCATE IN THE VOMIT AND SHIT OF ALL THE HYPOCRISY I AM FORCED TO SWALLOW DAILY. I HOPE MY DEAD CORPSE IS OF MORE USE THEN MY SHITTY HORRIBLE USELESS EXISTENCE IS, MAYBE SOMEONE WILL POST IT ON YOUTUBE, LOL WTF!!!!!!!!!!!????????????


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## Another Lost Cause (Oct 6, 2015)

phphphp


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## dipherent (Dec 23, 2015)

-_-


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## Notus Asphodelus (Jan 20, 2015)

You should start revising those expectations and make some amendments by making your own goals instead of depending on people on how to be you.


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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)

Another Lost Cause said:


> phphphp


I can't because they are everywhere I go. Everyone jsut thinks I'm really fucking weird, and is like the number 1# reason everyone hates me. I want to wear my pants up to my mid-waist, have albert einstein hair, and carry jars of pickles with me everyone. THEN I'LL GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO STARE AT.

WHOA, MAYBE I NEED A SHIT REPELLENT SHIT GUN TO KEEP AWAY ALL THE BULL SHIT AWAY FROM ME, AND THEN INSTEAD OF EVERYONE LIVING IN A WORLD OF FAKE SANITIZED BLAND FAKE SUNSHINE HELL, AND INSTEAD MAKE EVERYTHING LOOK LIKE HOW IT REALLY IS. SHIT.


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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)

Sorry, I think I just lost control for a couple of seconds. 

It's okay, Poncho.


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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)




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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)




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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)




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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)




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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)




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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)

Edit: nvermind


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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)

I'm a Monkey Junkie lobotimized, perfectly utilized, mechanized, cold and sterile, immovable, perfected to perfect task completion and detail; I'm new, shiny and bright, and I'm always well behaved, properly considerate, fashionable, clear spoken, and a sadomachochistic, steroid junkie-rage freak who lives to practice and perfect the fine art of non-existence by telling myself that nothing really matters all, until it's brand approved and pre-authorized, for whole clearance, sensible, and necessary for my survival as a spiritual flotation device of mass consumption and wholesale buyouts. I hope that you flippantly shake my sweaty man mittens and agree to whatever it is we were never told we were supposed to agree to. EXCEPT IN MY ROTTING FLESH MOUND OF AN ANUS.


ANUS BUTT SEX


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## FourLeafCloafer (Aug 5, 2014)

You really like Marilyn Manson, don't you?


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## ai.tran.75 (Feb 26, 2014)

I like weird - who cares about societal norm. I'm a fan of Manson as well 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Stickman (Sep 30, 2012)

Don't worry, you're not a joke.


Jokes are funny.


On second thought: you are a joke.


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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)

I'm so sorry---I lost control again.

Today I got really angry at my roommate because he's a slob, who never cleans everything, and he's a giant asshole, and is always making fun of me, and being a jerk, and I just lost control and threw a plate at the wall near him and screamed at him. 

I hate everything.


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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)

I have a neurological medical disorder which fucks up my life, and mostly everyone I meet thinks I'm a giant fucking loser and hates me because I'm not "successful" enough because it, or some fucking shit. I don't even know half of the time why people don't like me, it just seems like almost everywhere I go people treat me like fucking shit.

My whole life, I've been an outcast, I've never had the right clothes, enough money, proper social skills, right connections, whatever. I've just always been a fucking freak.

It's true. I despite capitalism at this point, and everything to do with it. I feel empty and dead inside being forced and coerced to comply to a pre-established system of in-equality, where our whole reason for being is to simply manufacture, produce and consume goods, whilst being taken advantage of, by capitalists, and force to slave away to earn a right to exist at petty meaningless tasks that hold no personal significance. All of my life experiences has pointed me in this direction. 


All I've ever experienced is un-equality, and being on the bottom, with no prospects or hope. 

I think life is meaningful and something to be cherished; I don't want to waste my life waiting for a 'new tomorrow' or an 'afterlife' that may not even existence. I know most people are miserable, sad and unhappy inside, and think that the only thing to do is to simply endure. 

That's why I fucking hate how much people try you're supposed to pretend to even be happy. 
Why? I can't carry on this facade when inside I'm screaming.


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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)

I'm alone on Christmas, and again with this treatment from my roommate, no matter what I do, how good of a person I am, because for some reason I don't measure or stack up, I am treated like I am worthless? like I am some kind of urchin. That's literally how I would describe the way I feel treated quite often. 

Ignore how other people treat me? yeah, and while I'm at it, I might as well finally move to the mountains and become a crazy hermit who lives off the land, as I'm already alone all of the time as it is.


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## Stickman (Sep 30, 2012)

You're depressing. People don't like spending time with depressing people. It's depressing.

As for the capitalism, you're not forced to do anything. You don't have to produce and you don't have to consume.


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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)

Stickman said:


> You're depressing. People don't like spending time with depressing people. It's depressing.
> 
> As for the capitalism, you're not forced to do anything. You don't have to produce and you don't have to consume.


Oh shut the fuck up, you're a stupid fucking asshole; how many skeletons are in your closet?

Want my address so you can come and say that to me in person "internet tough guy"

I guess you know, thank god for good o'l Uncle Sam and all of the real unadulterated freedom we have all been so kindly blessed with, cuz it means ya don't have to think. Ever. About anything.

Or care either. What got into me? I guess it's true, we should all just party and have a good time all of the time. Yee-haw.


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## Stickman (Sep 30, 2012)

MeteorShadow said:


> you're a stupid fucking asshole


You read one quote of mine and then you call me an asshole.

People don't like when you jump to conclusions.




> all of the real unadulterated freedom we have all been so kindly blessed with, cuz it means ya don't have to think.


Actually, enjoying freedom requires much thought. Only if you don't think do you fall victim to the 'capitalistic production/consumption machine'.


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## aef8234 (Feb 18, 2012)

I'd say the fuck did I walk into, but that would imply I've never seen this before.


I have.

The question is which KIND it is.
I'tll be answered after this thing I did just now. Unless, of course I'm wrong.
In which case, not the first time for that either.


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