# An [insert type here] walks into a bar...



## Tad Cooper (Apr 10, 2010)

An ESTJ walks into a bar and everyone stands to attention.


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## Zdorobot (Dec 19, 2010)

An ENTP walks into a bar with several bottles of nonalcoholic beer with switched labels that make it look like it does indeed have alcohol. He pretends to buy beers for a lady, who consequently believes herself to be drunk. While the lady believes to be under the influence, the ENTP lures her into his car and then says "The beer was actually non-alcoholic, but wanna make out anyway?" Charmed by his knowledge of the placebo effect and artful manipulation, she complies to his request. Well, not really, she thinks he's a pig. But a sexy ENTP pig. So it's all good.


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## pretty.Odd (Oct 7, 2010)

An INFP walks into a bar, and quickly walks out because she thought that everyone was staring at her.


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## StandingTiger (Dec 25, 2010)

mars6988 said:


> An ENTJ walks into a bar, racks up a mad tab and doesn't tip the bartender because drink to ice ratio was off and the service was inefficient.


I'm a bartender, and I am now going to assume that picky, rude patrons are ENTJs.


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## Kr3m1in (Jan 16, 2011)

@hmwith , I don't get rude for no reason. But if my food tastes like it was made a week ago and my drink (rum and coke) is warm with diet coke instead of regular I won't tip. This rum and coke story just happened. It's just, if you're going to be careless and sloppy about your customers, why should I reward you in any way? When the service is excellent, I can tip up to 35%.
I've tipped zero before. And no, I don't feel bad.


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## Kr3m1in (Jan 16, 2011)

An ESFP walks into a bar and never walks out, but rather is carried out, naked, 48 hours later, by complete strangers.


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## Kr3m1in (Jan 16, 2011)

An ESFJ walks into a bar, buys every sad-looking person a drink and runs out of money before he can buy himself one.


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## NiDBiLD (Apr 1, 2010)

An ENTJ walks into a bar, sits down, pulls up his laptop and starts working.

The rule is: One drink per completed to-do item. Most difficult tasks first.


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## Kr3m1in (Jan 16, 2011)

I would never work in a bar. But I keep work and play very strictly separate, and party like an ENFP/ESFP..with some brakes though.


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## StandingTiger (Dec 25, 2010)

An ENFP walks into a bar alone, tries to keep to herself, but everyone fights for attention and conversation.

This happened to me last night (and quite often). I simply wanted to sit there and drink a few beers by myself, but every regular saw me sitting by myself at the bar and came over to chit-chat. It was incredibly draining, but how dare an E want alone time.


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## jack london (Aug 27, 2010)

hmwith said:


> An ENFP walks into a bar alone, tries to keep to herself, but everyone fights for attention and conversation.
> 
> This happened to me last night (and quite often). I simply wanted to sit there and drink a few beers by myself, but every regular saw me sitting by myself at the bar and came over to chit-chat. It was incredibly draining, but how dare an E want alone time.


Why would an ENFP want to be alone?


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## NiDBiLD (Apr 1, 2010)

mars6988 said:


> I would never work in a bar. But I keep work and play very strictly separate, and party like an ENFP/ESFP..with some brakes though.


I don't. I work pretty much everywhere and all the time. Restaurants and bars are great. Good food and drinks, plus you are getting stuff done at the same time. Once in a while, though, I take a few days off with a bong and some acid in order to relax properly.


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## StandingTiger (Dec 25, 2010)

jack london said:


> Why would an ENFP want to be alone?


I need tons of alone time. ENFPs are the most introverted extroverts, and I seem to be at least one of the least extroverted ENFPs on PC.

It's a toss up any day of the week, but unless I'm in a great mood and feeling energized (and I'm normally not), I'd rather sit in my room all day. Depressed ENFPs can withdraw.


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## jack london (Aug 27, 2010)

hmwith said:


> I need tons of alone time. ENFPs are the most introverted extroverts, and I seem to be at least one of the least extroverted ENFPs on PC.
> 
> It's a toss up any day of the week, but unless I'm in a great mood and feeling energized (and I'm normally not), I'd rather sit in my room all day. Depressed ENFPs can withdraw.


@hmwith

I get the need for alone time. I just figured you were a gal that liked to be the center of attention.  This explains why ENFPs don't mind hanging out with us boring INTJs, huh?


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## StandingTiger (Dec 25, 2010)

jack london said:


> This explains why ENFPs don't mind hanging out with us boring INTJs, huh?


I love all NTs. I especially hit it off right away with INTXs, even though it seems like most don't. They seem to enjoy my company/conversation, and it's definitely, _definitely_ mutual.

Also...

An INTJ walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, and knows immediately whether or not the bartender is intelligent, even if it's only through "small talk". You guys get a vibe for what people have to offer intellectually right off the bat... and you're spot on.


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## topgun31 (Nov 23, 2010)

NiDBiLD said:


> I don't. I work pretty much everywhere and all the time. Restaurants and bars are great. Good food and drinks, plus you are getting stuff done at the same time. Once in a while, though, I take a few days off with a bong and some acid in order to relax properly.


Reminds me, I used to study at the campus pub as an undergrad. I'd arrive there right after lunch. There's people around (I HATE studying in an isolated ultra-quite place), and there's food if you want something hot. Plus, you can party after you're done studying...all in one location. Pretty efficient haha.

Also...
And ENTJ walks into a bar with an objective in mind, and he/she immediately assesses the situation (type of people, groups, the "atmosphere" etc.). He/she then attempts to carry out the goal, whether it's getting a number or just getting drunk, going with the flow, and being wild with friends.


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## Napoleptic (Oct 29, 2010)

An INTJ walks into a bar and posts a sign that says "Hiring Minions! Call 555-5555. Be prepared to leave a message."


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## Napoleptic (Oct 29, 2010)

An ESFP walks out of a bar.





 [Edited to add: I feel kinda bad posting this - no offense intended, ESFPs!]


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## jack london (Aug 27, 2010)

@hmwith



hmwith said:


> I love all NTs. I especially hit it off right away with INTXs, even though it seems like most don't. They seem to enjoy my company/conversation, and it's definitely, _definitely_ mutual.



I had a friend who was an ENFP and she had talking down to an art form. She would give the backstory, explain why backstory was important, mention people important in backstory who are relevant to her "point", move on to give support for her point and sum up with a thread that tied all those stories together that made you go "OH, I GET it now."

I absolutely LOVE talking to you guys.


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## pretty.Odd (Oct 7, 2010)

A wave function walks into a bar and promptly collapses. He screams at the bartender "What the fuck are you looking at!"


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## SenhorFrio (Apr 29, 2010)

An INFP walks into a bar, and two hours later an ENFP stumbles out


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## TheWildOne (Feb 22, 2011)

hmwith said:


> I need tons of alone time. ENFPs are the most introverted extroverts, and I seem to be at least one of the least extroverted ENFPs on PC.


*nods* I can relate --to the first part, mostly. 

For example, to me lunch break is _me_ time. I turn off my phone and take the time to just 'decompress' for a little, be it with the company of a book, some music, or just the amusing little world that often bustles with activity inside my head. =) I resent it when my coworkers insists that I join them for a bite, or when I bump into someone on my way to lunch and I just can't shake that someone off. I am always around people, people! Can't I take one meager hour off? Come on!


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## mOchO (Mar 3, 2011)

An INTJ walks into a bar and asks for a specific drink, witch he has to explain 3 times to bartender how to do, because he can't get it right!

An INTJ walks into a bar and starts reading a book during a football/soccer match on the TV!


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## dusttrust (Mar 4, 2011)

An INTP walks into a bar... to never go there again.
An ESFP walks into a bar, and go on stage. He is part of the band.
An INFP walks into a bar, then realizes he walked into a bar.


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## Life.Is.A.Game (Nov 5, 2010)

An INTJ walks into a bar...only because she was dragged in by her ESFP friend but tries to make the best of it and actually ends up having fun


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## Napoleptic (Oct 29, 2010)

mOchO said:


> An INTJ walks into a bar and starts reading a book during a football/soccer match on the TV!


An INTJ walks into a bar and starts reading a book during a football/soccer match on the TV, looks up when a fight breaks out, cocks an eyebrow at the display of emotion, and then goes back to reading.


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## tenthousandopenbooks (Jan 25, 2011)

Napoleptic said:


> An INTJ walks into a bar and starts reading a book during a football/soccer match on the TV, looks up when a fight breaks out, cocks an eyebrow at the display of emotion, and then goes back to reading.


The INTP was the only one who saw him do it. They nod to each other, knowingly.


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## TheWildOne (Feb 22, 2011)

An ENFP _doesn't_ walk into a bar...


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## TheWildOne (Feb 22, 2011)

An ENFP and an ESFP walk into a bar, and the noise level in the place inmediately rises in a 1,500%


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## mOchO (Mar 3, 2011)

An INTJ walks into a bar, asks for an espresso, and after drinking it tells the bartender it would be much better if he tuned the machine with a slight lower temperature and a higher pressure.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

An ESTP walks into a bar and strikes up conversations with strangers as if they've been pals for years.


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## StandingTiger (Dec 25, 2010)

dusttrust said:


> An INTP walks into a bar... to never go there again.


That is, unless the bar has pool tables. Every NT I know _loves_ pool, especially the INTPs.


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## vel (May 17, 2010)

An INFJ walks into a bar, takes out Tarot cards and starts balancing everyone's karma.
An INFP walks into a bar and suddenly a rainbow breaks out and unicorns appear.
An ENFP walks into a bar and starts telling a story consisting of one big sexual innuendo for the next 6 hours.
An INTJ walks into a bar as a scientific experiment to determine how stupid the concept of a bar is.
An ENTP walks into a bar and gets into an argument.
INTP has been sitting at home, mentally modeling drinking with buddies and picking up girls trying to get to the ultimate truth about bars.


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## talemin (Jul 4, 2010)

An ENTJ walks in a bar and starts acting picky to surprise check the work of her employees.

An INTP walks in a bar: better to know Earth people in their environment before he makes a first contact.

An ISTJ walks in a bar. To shove everybody off and put the yellow tape.


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## affinity (Feb 14, 2011)

An INFJ and an INTJ walk into a bar. They order drinks and proceed to sit in silence for the next 3 hours.


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## AussieChick (Dec 27, 2010)

An ISFJ walks into a bar,sits down and bawls her eyes out.


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## chaeriean (Jan 18, 2011)

an isfj is terrified of bars because only axe-murderers drink alcohol.


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## tenthousandopenbooks (Jan 25, 2011)

an INTP walks into a bar and wtf is this music.



the ENTP goes up and turns it off.


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

An ENFP walks into a bar and is greeted with a beer before she orders one


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## themartyparade (Nov 7, 2010)

Fizz said:


> An ESTP walks into a bar and strikes up conversations with strangers as if they've been pals for years.


and becomes friends with the bartender and receives free drinks all night.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Fizz said:


> An ESTP walks into a bar and strikes up conversations with strangers as if they've been pals for years.





themartyparade said:


> and becomes friends with the bartender and receives free drinks all night.


And thus we completed a joke together. TEAMWORK!


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## AussieChick (Dec 27, 2010)

An ISFJ walks into a bar,tells everyone her life story then gets hit on by the sleaziest man there.She thinks that he is just being kind when he offers to buy her a drink and gives her a shoulder to cry on.


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## chickpeaax (Mar 17, 2011)

an ENFJ walks into a bar and immediately works out how to blag their way to free drinks.


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## The Hungry One (Jan 26, 2011)

An ENFP and her ESTJ boyfriend walk into a bar arguing. 
"You're slovenly, irresponsible, lazy, undependable, impractical--" rants the ESTJ. 
"WELL YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS OF MY P-NESS!" screams the ENFP. 

The bar falls silent except for the ISTP building a hovering bar stool in the corner.


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## Life.Is.A.Game (Nov 5, 2010)

True story:

An ESFJ stumbles into a bar (cuz she's already drunk), because she wants to say "Hi" to the Band, followed by her INTJ sister trying to save her from complete and utter embarassment. The INTJ smiles politely with a subtle apologetic look, drags her sister out and secretely feels awesome that once again she saved her sister from...who-knows-what


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## Life.Is.A.Game (Nov 5, 2010)

An ENTJ walks into a bar...a very "high-class" type bar, sits in the VIP section (cuz he has reservations), followed by his good looking friends, then orders the most expensive bottle of Vodka.


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## Life.Is.A.Game (Nov 5, 2010)

An ESFP girl walks into a bar, takes a shot and starts dancing ...on the bar.


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## Life.Is.A.Game (Nov 5, 2010)

An ISTJ girl walks into a bar, complains about the music, the decor, the service, orders a glass of water and doesn't talk to anyone because everyone is "beneath her" , then tells her husband she wants to go home. (based on a true story)


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## chickpeaax (Mar 17, 2011)

An INFP walks into a bar, gets drunk from four beers, kisses the person next to her, then wallows in shame for the rest of the night because she feels so guilty at 'leading the person on'. Also a true story.


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## aboyeraboyer (Sep 24, 2009)

chickpeaax said:


> An INFP walks into a bar, gets drunk from four beers, kisses the person next to her, then wallows in shame for the rest of the night because she feels so guilty at 'leading the person on'. Also a true story.


I have an INFP friend who is EXACTLY like this.


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## saffron (Jan 30, 2011)

An ENFP walks into a bar, orders a drink then realizes she left her wallet at home on the table when she was digging through her purse looking for her car keys. A stranger buys the drink and a couple more as they talk about favorite books, music, spiritual philosophies, lost dreams, and what said stranger should do in regards to his struggling relationship and future career pursuits.


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## tnredhead (Apr 5, 2011)

An ISTJ walks into a bar, arrests the bar tender for serving drinks to minors, and promptly walks back out again.


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## mOchO (Mar 3, 2011)

An INTJ walks into a bar, tells the bartender he is out of money at the moment, asks if he could have a drink and pay on the next day, and the bartender oddly finds him trustworthy enough to accept the proposition. Of course, on the next day the INTJ went for another drink and kept his promise.


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## The Exception (Oct 26, 2010)

An ESFP walks into a bar, hits on the bartender, leading to a one-night stand.

An INFJ walks into a bar, and drinks only water.

An INTP walks into a bar and secretly estimates the blood alcohol levels of all of the customers.

An ISTP walks into a bar hoping to remain the reigning darts champion.


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

An ISFP walks through a bar... she doesn't quite know why or care to explain.


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## zynthaxx (Aug 12, 2009)

Dementia in Absentia said:


> An ISTP walks into a bar hoping to remain the reigning darts champion.


Sorry, you got it wrong: An ISTP walks into a bar, has a good time and becomes the reigning darts champion.

The moment he realizes that somebody else is a markedly better dart player, he'll leave and won't return until he's gotten some mental distance to his downfall. He won't touch the darts in a public competition ever again, though.


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## LifeOnMars2013 (May 9, 2011)

An INTJ walks into a bar and manipulates the nearest person to buy their drink. He then wins $463 in poker while pondering his job, war and those he loves. He leaves with a smirk on his face, amused by the ignorant people in the bar.


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## mOchO (Mar 3, 2011)

LifeOnMars2013 said:


> An INTJ walks into a bar and manipulates the nearest person to buy their drink. He then wins $463 in poker while pondering his job, war and those he loves. He leaves with a smirk on his face, amused by the ignorant people in the bar.


Haha! You forgot to tell that during the manipulation he said the person next to him that if he was offered a drink he would after buy 2 in return, which he did with the poker money 

Or... if he didn't like that person for some reason... he would make bet such as if he'd win the game the person had to buy him a 2nd drink, and if he'd lose he'd buy the person 2 drinks in return. LOL! Of course he got the poker money plus 2 free drinks.


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## tenthousandopenbooks (Jan 25, 2011)

An INTP walks into a bar and finds himself really uncomfortable. He takes comfort in reading the drink menu quietly to himself and notices significant grammatical errors throughout. After a few drinks he points out the errors to fellow patrons, confident they will find them amusing.

Back to really uncomfortable. :sad:


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## Redbook42 (May 3, 2011)

An INFJ walks into a bar, sits and looks at people, get out, and just learned the meaning of life and universe.


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## Ngg (Jul 22, 2010)

An ENTP walks into a bar, realizes nobody there satisfies his sexual or intellectual appetite, and walks out.


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## Jewl (Feb 28, 2012)

An ENFP walks into a bar and instantly spots all the introverts and begins making friends with all of them.


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## Taker (Jun 14, 2011)

JuliaBell said:


> An ENFP walks into a bar and instantly spots all the introverts and begins making friends with all of them.


If only more people would do that for me in my life! 

An INFP walks into a bar, gets asked what he'd like to drink but fumbles his words because he hasn't decided yet, but doesn't want to make a fuss, so he just orders something simple that he hadn't planned on getting.

That was me in Starbucks yesterday. >.>


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## TheBoss (Oct 27, 2011)

tenthousandopenbooks said:


> An INTP walks into a bar and immediately has women fawning over his brooding intensity and angular, stoic face. The attraction ends as soon as they attempt to communicate with him.


True! :laughing:

An ENTJ walks in a club. 
We don't do bars.


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