# How to get your money's worth at a strip club...



## sofort99 (Mar 27, 2010)

This started as a joke in another thread, but here it goes on a Scotch fueled ramble anyway. And a lot of the advice is just good general things men should be doing anyway.

Want to go to a strip club with $50 or $75 and be treated like you have $500? Do this.

First, the expensive bits. Save up some money and go buy a decent watch and a pair of shoes. Maybe 100 bucks or so each. 

Get a good, plain, quality watch with hands on it. It will last you the rest of your life. If you don't know if you need a gold or silver watch, I guess either ask the salesperson, or your mom.

Get a good quality pair of casual shoes. Plan to spend $100. They won't last the rest of your life, but they will last 10-15 years and you will base your casual wardrobe around them.

Why?

Because of how when a cute woman walks into the room you automatically checkout her rack and ass without even thinking about it. Except when a woman does it to you, your rack is your status and stability. Women check shoes and watches like you check T&A. Strippers even more so, because they size men up for a living.

Now for the easy stuff.

Shave and take a damn bath! I know, I shouldn't have to say it... sigh.

Get a hair cut, hippy! If you are going this weekend, go get your hair cut around Wednesday. That makes you look nice and groomed, but also gives it a few days to grow out and look a little more natural. Applies to dates, weddings, job interviews, etc.

Wear clean, unwrinkled clothes for God's sake. Applies to dates, weddings, job interviews, etc. Except here, jeans or slacks and a polo shirt are just fine. And they can be just whatever you have from, oh, even Walmart.

When you go get your haircut, run over to the mall and get a manicure. I know... I know. but strippers will actually take your hand and check out your nails. A manicure less than a week old will effectively triple the return on the cash you have in your pocket. If you don't do anything else on my list, do this! Applies to dates, weddings, job interviews, etc.

But don't let them paint your nails. You want them buffed instead.

Stripper specific pointers.

The strippers hear "Hey! Nice tits!" all night long. They didn't just pick out and buy their boob job, they also picked out and bought their shoes and outfits they are dancing in. If you want to make a good impression and stand out a little, try complementing how good she looks in her shoes instead of her ass. 

And finally, don't tip freaking 1 dollar bills. Bring fives, and a couple of tens. This however, should not be done for dates, weddings, or job interviews.

Follow this simple advice, and a guy's night out to a strip club for $50 a piece will get you the same attention as if you brought 10 times that much.


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## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

You have put _far _too much thought into this...


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## sofort99 (Mar 27, 2010)

Actually, I just dated far to many strippers.


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## Rogue Eagle (Oct 14, 2009)

I'm speechless.


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## Arbite (Dec 26, 2010)

Rogue Eagle said:


> I'm speechless.


No your not...


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## Nomenclature (Aug 9, 2009)

Really? Someone I know said to _never_ tip a stripper-- once you become a "customer," she's going to try squeeze as much money out of you as possible. "More money toward the house => happy house => happy strippers => happy you." Make it a party. Give her a good time to up the chances of action outside the club.

The guy I'm talking about took on the position that if one were to look at the strip club as just a bar, except the women are naked, that it should come naturally after that... don't pay for a lap dance except for that one awkward guy who needs to loosen up.

Bringing a female friend helps.

EDIT: -_- the point isn't to pick them up, the point is to treat them like people rather than objects.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

I wouldn't be stupid enough to waste my time or my money in a strip club, personally.


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

I hope you have a well thought out plan in life with things of substance, because this is really laughable. A guide to winning over a stripper...Lol....it could have been summed up in a few words...." be prepared to have cash ".....strippers don't give a crap about what you wear, as long as you're bringing the money honey, you could be naked for all they care. I could be wearing sweat pants with a mickey mouse watch, but if i'm flashing around 100$ bills, while your preppy ass is flashing 5$....there isn't a watch or shoes out there that will lead a stripper to you, opposed to me. Common sense !


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## sofort99 (Mar 27, 2010)

Nomenclature said:


> Really? Someone I know said to _never_ tip a stripper-- once you become a "customer," she's going to try squeeze as much money out of you as possible. "More money toward the house => happy house => happy strippers => happy you." Make it a party. Give her a good time to up the chances of action outside the club.
> 
> The guy I'm talking about took on the position that if one were to look at the strip club as just a bar, except the women are naked, that it should come naturally after that... don't pay for a lap dance except for that one awkward guy who needs to loosen up.
> 
> Bringing a female friend helps.


This wasn't really a guide on how to pick up strippers. It was on how to get the most entertainment for your money at a strip club.

I wouldn't look at it so much as a bar with naked women. I would look at it more like going to the ballet, where the dancers are all women, are all naked, and are all friendly.

Not paying your stripper? This is their job, and if you are using up their time and not paying them for it, you are basically stealing from them. This doesn't make them think you are " not a customer", it makes them think you are a jerk.

And go to a strip club to be entertained, not to pick up strippers. It would be like going out to a restaurant just to pick up a waitress... That's just douchebaggery at it's worst.


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## sofort99 (Mar 27, 2010)

MuChApArAdOx said:


> I hope you have a well thought out plan in life with things of substance, because this is really laughable. A guide to winning over a stripper...Lol....it could have been summed up in a few words...." be prepared to have cash ".....strippers don't give a crap about what you wear, as long as you're bringing the money honey, you could be naked for all they care. I could be wearing sweat pants with a mickey mouse watch, but if i'm flashing around 100$ bills, while your preppy ass is flashing 5$....there isn't a watch or shoes out there that will lead a stripper to you, opposed to me. Common sense !


This wasn't a guide to winning over strippers. It was a guide on how to get as much out of the money you do have at a strip club.

And of course, you do realize that while you are "flashing around 100$ bills" attracting a stripper to your table, there are still a dozen girls walking around trying to decide who they want to entertain... don't you?


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## Ormazd (Jan 26, 2010)

skycloud86 said:


> I wouldn't be stupid enough to waste my time or my money in a strip club, personally.


To be fair. It would be stupid for you to do such a thing (and for myself) since you wouldn't get anything from it. However for some people, clearly, it would "pay-off", I suppose. *shrugs*



sofort99 said:


> This wasn't a guide to winning over strippers. It was a guide on how to get as much out of the money you do have at a strip club.
> 
> And of course, you do realize that while you are "flashing around 100$ bills" attracting a stripper to your table, there are still a dozen girls walking around trying to decide who they want to entertain... don't you?


Yes, I'm sure she is aware of the intricacies of what goes on in a strip club. :mellow:

:tongue:


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## undead (Nov 28, 2010)

Not worth it. Strip Clubs are too expensive. 

I'd rather get a good massage.


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## Black Rabbit (Apr 15, 2010)

I accidentally herpes. Is that good?


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Troisi said:


> I accidentally herpes. Is that good?


I think you accidentally forgot a word, hermano :tongue:


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## Black Rabbit (Apr 15, 2010)

Fizz said:


> I think you accidentally forgot a word, hermano :tongue:


I Accidentally | Know Your Meme


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Troisi said:


> I Accidentally | Know Your Meme


Oh snap, I'm not fresh with my memes. Thanks BTW, I haven't seen this one before.


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## sofort99 (Mar 27, 2010)

Troisi said:


> I accidentally herpes. Is that good?


well, it's not "good"... but is is often the result of surprise buttsecks.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

Ormazd said:


> To be fair. It would be stupid for you to do such a thing (and for myself) since you wouldn't get anything from it. However for some people, clearly, it would "pay-off", I suppose. *shrugs*


Whilst I agree, even if I had a higher sex drive, I still wouldn't visit a strip club.


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## mrkedi (Nov 19, 2009)

as a person that have nvr been to a strip club so far, i have a dumb question:

is all the stripper have those un-flattering, oompa-loompa st.tropez tan?


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## FXGZ (May 19, 2011)

Essentially the key is to:
1. Dress and act like you are rich
2. "Small talk" commentating style.


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