# NT’s how do you experience love



## impulsenine (Oct 18, 2020)

Allostasis said:


> Aren't you esfp though?


I think that it manifests the same no matter type. It's physiological.
I don't remember Jung saying that love manifests differently.


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## Allostasis (Feb 2, 2021)

impulsenine said:


> I think that it manifests the same no matter type. It's physiological.
> I don't remember Jung saying that love manifests differently.


lust isn't a required component to love anyway.


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## impulsenine (Oct 18, 2020)

Allostasis said:


> lust isn't a required component to love anyway.


Yeah.
The body knows it better tho'


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## deafcrossfitter (Nov 30, 2019)

Allostasis said:


> Aren't you esfp though?


LMAOOOO or a female hyena


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## Mark R (Dec 23, 2015)

How do I experience love? I decide rationally to love someone and do the actions of love.


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## horseloverfat (Jun 29, 2018)

badly.


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## HAL (May 10, 2014)

For me it's deep, childlike and pathetic.

When smartie-pants characters in movies talk about how "love is just an endorphin rush designed to connect you to a partner for just about long enough to want to protect them after procreating", I hold my hands up and admit that I am absolutely beholden to it. The endorphins hit me hard.

I don't fall in love easily though. I just know from experience that I can and do fall hard and pathetically when it happens.

It manifests in all the worst ways, i.e. hiding all my negative traits from her, elevating her status in my mind, ignoring any red flags, etc etc.

Obviously if the love is reciprocated it's a little bit of a different story, but the blind illogical frenzy still occurs.

I believe this is a known trait among INTPs. It's an absolute blindside attack on our otherwise rational worldview.


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## Coonsy (Dec 22, 2010)

Coming from a mid-40's female INTJ:

"Love" is an extremely broad term for starters. Greeks use 7 different words for the 1 word we use - and I wish we had a variety to choose from.

Romantic love - this tends to manifest as an extreme caring for someone, wanting to build them up, be with them, and involve my life in theirs and vice versa. As someone with my personality combined with my childhood, I've learned the hard way that I may need some better skills in this department as I recently discovered, I tend to exhibit a disorganized to anxious attachment style (at first more distant, but when I let myself catch a feel, then it flips to anxious, until I disconnect when it shuts back off to nothing). I've had some good and healthy romantic relationships, the best probably being with a ENTP who was probably fairly stable in his attachment style. 

Care love - I think of this as the love I have for my pets (no kids, so can't say how that would be). It's a high level of responsibility, but obviously I get something in return (companionship primarily). But I love my pets (cat especially) where I almost have half a thought to give up dangerous activities that are my life 'just in case' as I think many parents experience. I'd be homeless before I'd give up my cat. 

Familial love - love for relatives. This one can be turned off if you give me enough reasons to - my brother would be an example. There's probably still some kind of remote lingering feeling from us growing up together, but honestly, I doubt I'll ever speak to him again, and feel no loss for that. Mom, sister, even my father there's more feeling for, but its definitely different than the other two kinds of love. Almost more about familiarity and history than "love" if that makes any sense.

Good-friend love - this one can be a bit more fleeting as life separates many of us from our friends over time, but I have had a number of friends who I would loosely use the term "loved" them. Not like any of the other loves mentioned, but more than "just friends" - we could share our deepest darkest secrets, hang out, not see each other for weeks or months and pick up like it was just yesterday....normally I wouldn't use love in that sense, but it's a kind of love IMO.

I honestly don't know how to describe "love" and how it feels - most of the time, I would maybe say a "comfort" with people or pets, a desire to be with them, and a willingness for some level of self sacrifice to be with them.

My over reactive romantic love style - that's just miserable, even when it's happy. Overwhelming. But it also probably does not stem from a healthy place. For some reason, there are no other relationships in my life where I have that balance issue, only romantic, and only once I let myself start to really "feel" for someone - like there's no regulation to that flood gate, and it completely bypasses my normal filters and checkpoints....


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## daleks_exterminate (Jul 22, 2013)

HAL said:


> For me it's deep, childlike and pathetic.


This.


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## Crowbo (Jul 9, 2017)

Blood goes from my head to my dick and there you go!


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## thedazzlingdexter (12 mo ago)

VinnieBob said:


> By this I mean how do you perceive it
> Myself I am incapable of feeling love even though I know I am loved by a select few
> But it baffles the fuck out of me
> I’m totally numb on the inside
> I’m curious if it’s just me or a common NT trait


Pretty much accepted solitude at this piont. I doubt anyone would stick around long anymore.


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

@attic who is/was one of the best, most amazing members on this site, turned me on to this song.

edit: oh sorry--I'm not an NT. Attic and I are both INFP.






I think it's my favorite love song, thought nothing can completely encompass love.


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