# I have no words anymore.



## BehindSmile (Feb 4, 2009)

Liontiger said:


> Ah, the "pretend-it-never-happened" approach. I know this well. The conflict is ignored, but it does have its uses. It allows you two to interact on the level of necessity, as not talking to each other could prove to be very impractical, especially if there are outside things going on. It also allows the both of you to calm down from the fight and come at it again more rationally, or at least that is the hope.


I think she created the "pretend it never happened" which is fine, we can communicate, however...like all of our arguments, the way she said the things she said, and the things she said...I wish I could forget. I go over and over and over in my head the things she says, wondering if they are true, often times believing they are.


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## Ninja (Jun 28, 2009)

Perhaps she's saying discouraging things to make you feel worthless, so that you will need her and be less likely to leave her life and go off to do things in the world void of her interaction. In understanding it this way, I don't think it's a productive way to maintain an attachment.. A mental electric fence, that will shock you into staying inside her yard. Don't believe that shit she says.. or you'll be thinking it in the future with someone else, it will manifest it self, then you'll be dealing with it again and so will the person you're with... no, stop that self doubt and negative thinking now. It's pure manipulative ignorance being thrown in your face.. Realize what it is, and discard it.


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## HollyGolightly (Aug 8, 2009)

I've read your blogs and I don't agree wit hthe way your mother has treated you. And throwing the fact that you're on medication in your face, I'd be so hurt if my mother did that to me. I don't know you're mother but I from what I've read do you think she was trying to bring you down a peg or two to make you recoil so she could have control over the whole planning of the party? I don't know her so that's only a guess. Or is she insecure? Or is the planning of the party stressing her out? 
Whatever the answer, I think she should apologise. She was out of order.


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## BehindSmile (Feb 4, 2009)

HollyGolightly said:


> I've read your blogs and I don't agree wit hthe way your mother has treated you. And throwing the fact that you're on medication in your face, I'd be so hurt if my mother did that to me. I don't know you're mother but I from what I've read do you think she was trying to bring you down a peg or two to make you recoil so she could have control over the whole planning of the party? I don't know her so that's only a guess. Or is she insecure? Or is the planning of the party stressing her out?
> Whatever the answer, I think she should apologise. She was out of order.


She's very insecure and jealous because she provided a much better childhood for my brother and I that she had. Because of that though, she takes it out on us...that she didn't have a good childhood. 

Knocking me down a peg is what she does. She will never apologize. Ever. She is incredibly stubborn. Sunday night her and my brother started making fun of me for looking for "congrats graduation" decorations because my mom is going with the plain stuff...making fun of me for being "overly proud".

Making jokes like "should we charge a $50 entry fee? Are you going to have a banner fly over the party or a message written in the coulds for you?".

I got so upset I just went in my room and cried. After all I've been through this year personally and still not giving up at school, this is the first time in my life I've ever been proud of myself.


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## HollyGolightly (Aug 8, 2009)

BehindSmile said:


> She's very insecure and jealous because she provided a much better childhood for my brother and I that she had. Because of that though, she takes it out on us...that she didn't have a good childhood.
> 
> Knocking me down a peg is what she does. She will never apologize. Ever. She is incredibly stubborn. Sunday night her and my brother started making fun of me for looking for "congrats graduation" decorations because my mom is going with the plain stuff...making fun of me for being "overly proud".
> 
> ...


You should still be proud of yourself. Listen, I have had major problems with family members purposely knocking my confidence and one day you will fully realise it's a failing in their character, not yours. I don't know you but I think you have a good heart. I see you a lot in the advice centre forum and you seem to really care. My advice is that even though your mother is making you feel worthless, never change. I almost made that mistake because I wanted it all to stop, but like I said it's not a failing in your character. Your mom has a lot of issues about her childhood, which is fine but she shouldn't take it out on you. I wasn't there and I don't know you, but I think all this isn't your fault and you should be immensely proud of yourself for graduating because you've had a lot to deal with and you should also be proud of yourself for being you.
I hope things get better for you.


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