# Starting to second doubt being an INFP



## nathdep (May 5, 2012)

Hi everyone! I am having a hard time finding out which Myers-Briggs type fits me best. I was told on a different site (typology central) that I seemed to be more of an INFP. I took the Keirsey Temperament Sorter II (from Please Understand Me II) and the result was xNFx. I have decided that enneatype 6 fits me without a doubt. I have been professionally diagnosed with Bipolar I with most of my episodes being manic. As a result, I have been on medication since the 8th grade. I do agree I have a great deal of Fi and could possibly be Fi-dom because I tend to read in to people and this causes me to feel anxious based on their reactions. For instance, I could be in a waiting room with somebody I don't know and it seems like I can read in depth their whole personality whether it be a right judgment or not. Many times, this causes me to become intimidated. 

Here is a little about me:

I would say that anxiety drives about 90% of my daily routine. I have had an anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember. My grandma (who was like my second mom) died in the third grade and that alone created an astronomical amount of anxiety. My dad also left my mom in the 6th grade. This also added on a great deal anxiety. I have always had hard feelings against my father since he treated me horribly when I was little (mostly through verbal abuse). My father's views were pretty much the complete opposite of mine. He wanted me and tried to force me to become interested in sports and all things "manly". I wanted to focus on the more "feminine" side of life as I liked hobbies centered in fiber arts (crocheting, knitting) and music. I have always been drawn to music and right now I would say I am an accomplished amateur classical pianist and violinist. I have a fascination with the French language. There really hasn't been too many days that I have started learning French that I haven't thought of it at some point. I go through periods of being totally withdrawn from society due to stress to being too impulsive and outgoing (due to bipolar I, I guess). My friends definitely think I am weird and at times annoying. I think I am very friendly but sometimes too quirky.

I am having a hard time deciding between E or I because I feel natural in a classroom setting but if I have to present even in front of 10 people, whether through public speaking or performing music, I get so anxious before and after. People have come up to me and, much to my surprise, tell me that I look natural and I should do more on stage. I see myself almost as both E and I which makes me wonder if this could be a result to my psychiatric disorders. 

As for the P or J, I like events in my life to be scheduled because I don't like surprises. It pretty much ends there. My house and car are pretty much a wasteland due to my messes. I am very good at scheduling work and I usually complete my work before the deadline. However, this might not actually be scheduling because I just find a time and do my work all in one sitting. This is just a theory but I wonder if the reason why I am drawn to classical music is because of its order. As a consequence, jazz, rap, and most modern music does not appeal to me.

So, do you still think I am an INFP or do you have another type that seems to fit me better?

Thank you so much!


----------



## LiquidLight (Oct 14, 2011)

It's hard to say because a lot of what you describe isn't typological but rather you have some complexes (your parents namely and a very negative anima/animus complex that are influencing you much more than your type would be). So from the short little blurb you wrote it would be hard to say definitively what type you are (though I suspect Introverted Sensation type, due to your focus and determination that life events and experiences that have shaped you). But you're one of these people for whom there is a lot going on with you that might mask the true nature of your character. Type is often much more rudimentary than people make it out to be, many of the things you describe could be typical of many, many types, if not all of them from time to time, depending on their emotional state. A lot of people who have issues just sort of get swept into the rug of 'INFP' which has become a catch-all for people who are in adaptive, coping, developing, or otherwise tough to deal with stages of life, partially because the Kiersey and MBTI descriptions for this type are so vague and idealistic and also because MBTI and some of these simplistic personality/behavior measures are ill-equipped to deal with people who have real issues (they're very surface value and superficial). 

So what happens is you might identify as a type or temperament or even test as a type or temperament and sometimes really be the exact opposite (really common to people who over identify with their anima/animus complex for example). But of course just making a cursory read, I would suggest 1), maybe consultation with a really good analyst (this is just my opinion but I'd tend to stay away from _some_ psychiatric evaluations, not to downplay them, but in your case, I don't know how much you'd be helped by further medicalizing your issues - I think you don't need a diagnosis just a good analysis) and 2) you're going to have to sort of unwrap yourself from all of the experiences, and labels that you've been given (all of this sort of suggest an extraverted orientation by the way at least to some degree). Coming onto a type me thread will just be no better than taking the KTS-II. At best it might confirm things that you already thought about yourself, but I don't know that I'd trust many people here to be psychologically inclined enough to really help you breakthrough into a real sense of self-actualization (and I'm saying this as someone with a degree in psychology). But my initial guess, given your anxiety issues, and referencing of events as life shaping in the way that you have that you might be an Introverted Sensation type, maybe ISFJ. 

I'd take a look at 
http://personalitycafe.com/isfj-articles/78380-recognizing-inferior-function-isfj.html

and
http://personalitycafe.com/infp-articles/76770-recognizing-inferior-function-ifps.html

I suspect you might identify more with one than the other.


----------



## SweetPickles (Mar 19, 2012)

There are many introverts comfortable in a classroom setting as well as being okay with public speaking. I am also a type 6 INFP and prefer plans and structure just to feel comfortable. I know I'm a P, because I'm indecisive as hell, have a flexible viewpoint (see all sides), don't always go by the rules (especially if they don't make sense), I'm scared to make long-term commitments or decisions because it makes me feel caged in. I'm also messy as hell 

I have friends but few who really know me, I was in a sorority (don't judge!) so I can play the Fe game but at the same time felt a need to be on my own when it became too much to get my energy back. I can be considered an extrovert depending on the people I feel "safe" around. I am much more comfortable at home reading a book/watching TV then going to a party. In fact, I'm not fond of crowds. After my freshman year in college I was diagnosed with ADD and social anxiety. Now that I think back, I believe it was just my personality placed in a stressful situation. Although, if I didn't take adderall, I would have flunked out of school it changed my life for the better. I even became more of an assertive extrovert.

I can't tell if you are an I or E but I'm leaning towards I. Being a type 6 INFP isn't the easiest type, but focus on your strengths. Easier said than done I know  The best things for me have been therapy, and good friends to validate my feelings. I can go years without therapy but lately feel myself going into that unhappy place. It's important for even the days you don't feel like it to go outside, especially on a beautiful day. Observe how big the world is and how everyone has problems, that we are all kind of connected. I was a nurse for a while and you would be surprised about the many people who suffer from some sort of mental illness.

You have gone through a lot of trauma, I am so sorry. Just curious, at what age were you diagnosed with BPD 1? Eighth grade seems early and you didn't seem to have that much support. Psychologists are finding now that ADD/ADHD has much to do with anxiety during childhood. Females display more ADD, while males usually are diagnosed with ADHD. BP 1 shows me you may have more manic tendencies? I just worry because there has been a surge of diagnosing young kids with all kinds of things and putting them on medication that can change brain chemistry for life. 

Sorry to ramble...

Note: Type 6 is one of the most common enneagram types in the U.S. It's just not great when placed with a personality with a strong Fi. Talk about self doubt, anxiety and depression. If you read more of the posts in the INFP forums you will find lots of eccentric people. Sometimes, after reading those I doubt I am an INFP myself, but after studying cognitive functions there is no doubt who I am. I'm a very uncreative INFP, which can be tough. My F and T are fairly balanced so I can look at things more objectively I guess.


----------



## nathdep (May 5, 2012)

> Just curious, at what age were you diagnosed with BPD 1? Eighth grade seems early and you didn't seem to have that much support. Psychologists are finding now that ADD/ADHD has much to do with anxiety during childhood. Females display more ADD, while males usually are diagnosed with ADHD. BP 1 shows me you may have more manic tendencies? I just worry because there has been a surge of diagnosing young kids with all kinds of things and putting them on medication that can change brain chemistry for life.


I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 last year (when I was 16). I do believe that I have bipolar because I can get very angry and manic at times and then at other times, I can be a walking shell and be totally depressed. (However, these periods are more spaced out than the stereotypical "mood cycling".) Primarily, I feel that I am in a manic episode and episodes of depression usually come only about 1-2 times a year. 


> Talk about self doubt, anxiety and depression. If you read more of the posts in the INFP forums you will find lots of eccentric people. Sometimes, after reading those I doubt I am an INFP myself, but after studying cognitive functions there is no doubt who I am. I'm a very uncreative INFP, which can be tough. My F and T are fairly balanced so I can look at things more objectively I guess.
> 
> 
> I can't tell if you are an I or E but I'm leaning towards I. Being a type 6 INFP isn't the easiest type, but focus on your strengths. Easier said than done I know  The best things for me have been therapy, and good friends to validate my feelings.


I definitely have problems with self doubt, anxiety, and depression. I would say that I am more eccentric than others and this can actually lead me to be depressed because I feel so different from the people around me. My friend is type 1 and quite possibly an ENTJ and sometimes he tries to keep me in line. Although, sometimes he "overhelps" and can put me in a worse place than where I started. He can't get why I have to go home and recharge my batteries after being at the mall for 6 or 7 hours. I have always had a problem with being "cooped up inside all day" as my mother would say. I used to have a problem, although it is improving, where I would sometimes even ignore friends that I had over because I would be too infatuated with something that only requires one person (i.e. playing one-player video games, getting on the computer, doing homework all of which could only include just me) and my friends would either get mad or leave. I guess I am definitely an I if I can act familiar with those who I am close to (i.e. my friends) and act extremely nervous when I am around many people I don't know (i.e. a rock concert, a crowd of people).


----------



## SweetPickles (Mar 19, 2012)

nathdep said:


> I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 last year (when I was 16). I do believe that I have bipolar because I can get very angry and manic at times and then at other times, I can be a walking shell and be totally depressed. (However, these periods are more spaced out than the stereotypical "mood cycling".) Primarily, I feel that I am in a manic episode and episodes of depression usually come only about 1-2 times a year.


Would you mind describing your manic episodes? You don't have to if you don't want to. Just curious...is the anger provoked or does it come out of nowhere? Mania is not just feeling extremely angry/irritable. I'm sure your doctor has known you for a while and knows better than some random on the Internet. 1-2x per year is very mild...


----------



## nathdep (May 5, 2012)

> Would you mind describing your manic episodes? You don't have to if you don't want to. Just curious...is the anger provoked or does it come out of nowhere? Mania is not just feeling extremely angry/irritable. I'm sure your doctor has known you for a while and knows better than some random on the Internet. 1-2x per year is very mild...


It really is random. It usually starts as a high (I think it is called hypomania) where I feel really good about myself, not anxious at all, and extremely happy. All of the sudden though, it usually turns into anger and irritability. Sometimes, it does reach into a severe episode of mania where I start screaming, throwing things, and occasionally experience some psychotic symptoms. The depression is what usually comes about 1-2x a year but sometimes I have been diagnosed as being in a mixed episode where I feel them both at the same time (not a very good place to be). However, these episodes have been lessening and I have been feeling quite a bit better since I have started seeing my psychiatrist.


----------



## slyspy (May 18, 2011)

You remind me of someone I know. She had the same kind of manic episodes and was also diagnosed with Bipolar. I always pegged her as an INFJ because she was always worried about how other people saw her which I always figured was Fe. Fe coupled with Ni usually leads to an uncanny ability to be able to understand other people and their emotions while Fi is better able to understand their own emotions since it is an introverted function. Si relies on past experiences and honestly I can see both Si and Fe in what you have said but not much Fi. I would also go with ISFJ only from what you have said. Hope that helps somewhat.


----------

