# My house was broken into and I'm devastated



## Snakecharmer (Oct 26, 2010)

I don't know how I'm going to mentally recover from this. 

I left my house around 8 am yesterday and didn't go back until about 5:30 pm tonight. I'm house-sitting for my ex-boyfriend (he has pets and I don't), so I stayed at his house last night.

When I left work tonight at 5, I was going to go to the gym, but I was still full from my last meal and wanted to wait a little while. I figured I'd swing by my house to grab a few things (house sitting until Sunday). I almost skipped stopping by - I was going to wait until tomorrow, but something told me to go tonight. Intuition, I suppose.

I went in the sunroom door (which was locked) and immediately saw that the door to the house was OPEN. I peeked in, thinking it was odd and wondering if my ex-husband came by for some reason and left the door open (he owns the house and I rent it from him). Then I saw that my new flat screen TV was gone...and my things all over the floor. I ran to my car and left...drove to a police officer friend's house (he's in the same neighborhood, but on the other end), but he wasn't home...went to my ex's other house (again, same neighborhood) and he wasn't home...so I went to my friend's house. We called the police and met them at my house.

They also stole my gun safe (with my gun inside). Thankfully, I have the serial number for the gun, the safe, and the TV, so hopefully they'll catch the bastard(s).

They fingerprinted everything and took lots of notes and photos.

I'm devastated. I'm moving out this weekend...putting my things in storage and staying with a friend until I can get the heck out of this stupid area.

I don't know how to come back from this...I've never experienced something so traumatic. I feel violated.


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## Glenda Gnome Starr (May 12, 2011)

It's good that you have a friend to stay with so that you don't have to be alone in a house that must feel unsafe to you. This is a terrible violation. I've had things stolen from me and from my house. Nothing as valuable as yours... but, still... it feels like a violation. Do you have insurance or does your ex husband have insurance on the house? If so, you might want to get in touch with the insurance company and file a claim.
Moving is a good idea. Your safety is the most important thing.
I hope that the thieves are caught and are made to pay restitution to you.
Hugs and best wishes.


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## HonestAndTrue (Oct 25, 2012)

Snakecharmer said:


> I don't know how I'm going to mentally recover from this. [...] I don't know how to come back from this...I've never experienced something so traumatic. I feel violated.


Feeling is the first step. Feel it all, think it all, say/type/scream it all. Grow closer to your friends. Sadly, this is one of the things in life, though never should it happen, that is smart to plan for such as keeping those serial numbers. 

You will never be exactly the same person that you were. But with time and effort you will recover and come back a new person. It's a choice.

But right now, let's get the bastard(s). :angry:


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## unINFalliPle (Jul 8, 2012)

I won't pretend to know what you're going through. But, you're safe and that's good. The ones who broke in are low on morals. So try not to think of them. You seem to have handled it well. Take care.


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## Adrift (Apr 5, 2011)

Sorry for your misfortune. I think moving to a safer neighborhood will do wonders for your mental state.


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## Infermiera (Mar 2, 2012)

That's a terrible thing to go through. The good thing was you weren't home when it happened and that you're safe. Don't worry, you'll recover from this. In fact you'll emerge even stronger and wiser. 

I live in a particularly dodgy part of the city and we're been robbed one too many times. Mostly car parts taken and stocks missing. But one time we caught two minors snooping around inside our property. We called the police but since they're minors, we really couldn't do much. It turns out they're part of a syndicate that uses minors to rob houses and businesses. Now, we've fortified our security system and we've installed CCTV cameras inside and outside our home/office. It's been 3 months since the last time we were robbed.


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## Le9acyMuse (Mar 12, 2010)

Within the past hour someone was snooping around my culdesac, looking into people's cars. The person had gotten inside of my dad's car, and a neighbor fired a shot scaring the person off. That's hell to wake up to...

We're all victims at some point, and even most of the time in this world. I've had trauma from an assault. Maybe I can only speak for people more similar to my relating/thinking/reacting style, but:



I use honesty to help tune out the negative feelings. People commit crimes for many reasons, not just typically sinister reasons (don't necessarily assume the worst of someone). I must remember my dignity, lest I let this affect me for the worst.
I shift my focus toward foresight, because the resultant hindsight will only eat me up. How do I prevent a repeat, and how do I get better? Do that, and that's where your energy goes towards.
I'm also careful not to justify hatred towards another person. Excessively associating people with what they do makes it impossible to be as clear-headed, or fair as you should.
 
This advice would've helped me years ago. It's a longer road to recovery to keep yourself tense, even as you get over the trauma. Be near the ones you love, and take it a day at a time.


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## Snakecharmer (Oct 26, 2010)

Le9acyMuse said:


> I use honesty to help tune out the negative feelings. People commit crimes for many reasons, not just typically sinister reasons (don't necessarily assume the worst of someone). I must remember my dignity, lest I let this affect me for the worst.





Your whole post is fantastic - thank you. 

I quoted this particular sentence because I have been thinking about that - that maybe the person just really needs the money. That doesn't make it okay to violate another person and steal their possessions, of course, but maybe they were desperate...

My police officer friend said there are a lot of at-risk teenagers in my city who have been kicked out of their homes and turn to crime to survive.


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## VioletTru (Jun 24, 2012)

*Hugs* Getting through a situation where your safety was violated, and coming out on the other side with a newer, more enlightened and alert perspective on life just proves how strong you really are. You've come up with solutions to protect your new home instead of sitting back and hoping that another home invasion doesn't happen again; it's significant, no matter how you look at it. Keep it up!


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## Dauntless (Nov 3, 2010)

I am so very sorry, I didn't know until @Woof let me know. My deepest condolences for your violated trust, endangered well-being, and distress.

I would send resources were I able.


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## Snakecharmer (Oct 26, 2010)

Thanks 

I'm sort of burned out and haven't been around here much lately because I just have too much to do...moved all of my furniture and things into storage and am working on moving back to my hometown. I'm staying with a friend (ex-bf, actually, who is an amazing person and has been so kind to me). 

I'm waiting for a transfer from work to go through. 

Ugh, the stress. Family, friends, eating right, and lots of working out have helped a lot.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

I am so sorry to hear that.


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## Scruffy (Aug 17, 2009)

Take solace in that there's no reason for them to come back, it would be both dumb criminally, and they already have what they want. They don't want trouble, they just want your shit. 

It's a terrible feeling honestly, it's the most violating thing I've ever had to deal with. Every noise is a something, every rustle is a person. It will fade, but it depnds on the individual. It may diminish your world outlook, cynicism. 

Source: I live in Detroit, my apartment was robbed in Sept, and my car has been broken into about 3 times (it's good that nobody knows how to drive a goddamn stick anymore) I'm over it now emotionally, financially I'm ruined still. Good luck recovering.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

I am terribly sorry to hear this. I have never experienced it, but I know how violated you must feel at this time. It really does a number on one's sense of well being and security. Please keep us posted.


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## hulia (Sep 13, 2012)

I am so sorry to hear of what happened. I can understand where you're coming from. When I was younger, our house was robbed while my siblings and I were at school, and my parents were at work. We came home to find that the screen door was torn off, and that the robber himself was able to get past our dogs, and stole nearly everything. Our TV, whatever money he could find, all of my mom's jewellery, my dad's watch, and rummaged through my room and my sister's and took anything of value (TV, consoles, money). He was identified, but never caught. 

Two years later, our house burned down due to a bush fire. It emotionally scarred my mother for the rest of her life. Today, in our current home, she always unplugs any cords from electrical outlets and makes sure that the home security system is always on. It might have been a way to show that being proactive against these things is good, but the emotional toll that it look out of my mom is terrible. I wouldn't wish this on anyone else.

I would recommend that you perhaps move to a safer neighbourhood, the comfort brought would be tremendous. At least you were safe and you were not involved with the breaking in. My best wishes to you, and I hope that the convict is caught. Knowing that can bring a lot of relief as well. I'm still so sorry to hear of your misfortune.


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## jessaywhat (Sep 10, 2011)

i'm so happy to hear you're safe. some people are low lives. i know of a 15 year old girl that got killed walking into her house after school while her house was getting robbed in my old neighboorhood. it breaks my heart and forever changed my view of the world. moving is a good idea and it will help you move on. i've never been in that situation but i'm happy to see that some of us here have been there and they are coming forward with their support. we're all here for you.


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