# No masturbation



## Yann (Nov 22, 2009)

Coffee Grinder said:


> Is there something wrong with me if I have never masturbated and have never had the urge to?


i started at my 20's ... i find it better this way ... but its not that a big difference for me ... i dont find myself asexual ... i just think i have different balance of where i find most enyoment ... less in sensual way, more in intellectual way


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## cardinalfire (Dec 10, 2009)

I want to add this from the Clash:

"You western men you're free with your seed, oops there goes the strength you need, to make LOVERS ROCK" lol, great song.


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## zwanglos (Jan 13, 2010)

I'd get boners at _the _most inopportune times if I didn't. Keeps my libido in check.


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

zwanglos said:


> I'd get boners at _the _most inopportune times if I didn't. Keeps my libido in check.


very true. I would probably ejaculate from watching food network.


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## Lilsnowy (Sep 9, 2009)

If you don't have the urge, then don't worry about it. Sex drive and arousal change thoughout our lives. If you had no sexual feelings at all, there could be possible physical or psychological causes, but you said that's not a problem. I think there's nothing to be concerned with. We're all so bombarded with sex, imagery and pressure to be sexcually active or even promiscuous, it's hard to know what's normal anymore. Don't worry.


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## amanda32 (Jul 23, 2009)

I don't know how you HAVEN'T.
Honestly.
Dumbfounded.

I'm a little leaning toward what the other guy said: BS.

But anyway, it doesn't matter.

I once tried to "quit" . It was the most frustrating 3 weeks of my whole life. 
By the end I was doing something similar to a 5 year old's pee pee dance at work. Clearly in pain.
And co-workers would catch me and ask, "are you okay? What's wrong with you?"
I'd grimance and squeeze out an, "I'm FINE."
And then a cute guy would come up to the cash and my heart and stomach would flip and sink at the same time and I'd groan out loud and...breeeeeathe.

I've no idea how you've lasted this long.

I also call BS.
And if not -- I stare in raw amazement.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

amanda32 said:


> I don't know how you HAVEN'T.
> Honestly.
> Dumbfounded.
> 
> ...


Since I have quit, I have had a lot of trouble forcing myself not to wash too long in certain places while bathing, or not to sit with my legs pressed against my clit, but I always catch myself before I can turn myself on to the point where I must choose between giving myself an orgasm or going mad. I remind myself that I am not going to act on the urge, no matter how much I focus on my fantasies or behave in ways that make me need to do so. I use this reminder to coerce myself to stop doing whatever was causing the unwanted arousal. This is the longest I have gone without masturbating since I first started, back when I was a very young child. I use the technique I mentioned before, of imagining being fulfilled, and also reminding myself that it would be a shame to do it now after I have gotten this far. I'd have to start all over again at quitting if I were to end the perfect streak. 

I have found that it has been worth the trouble. My fantasies, which were disturbing me and adding to my anxiety problems, have stopped being a problem. ...well, the violent torture fantasies, anyhow. I just don't have them anymore, because their only purpose was to create the feeling of arousal. Now that I am avoiding that feeling, they have no use other than to remind me of scary things that I don't want to have happening in my head.

I still have fantasies that I know I shouldn't, but they are all loving. The problem isn't the feeling itself, but where it is sometimes directed. I consider this progress remarkable. 

I've had a problem with the violent thoughts about being victimized since I was about four, starting from two sources: Sunday school descriptions of the crucifixion, and the horrible stories I heard about other children's parents using violent means of punishment. At that age, the whole "never talk to strangers" thing was popular, and we were taught to fear everyone, with the expectation that unfamiliar people were all potential kidnappers who wanted to "hurt" us. They never explained what kind of hurt, so I assumed it must be like what the other parents did to frighten their kids out of misbehaving, or what happened to Christ. I had such a sick feeling over the idea that I had to push it down from my third chakra to my second chakra in order to manage it. That's when it became a fetish. As I learned about other atrocities that occurred throughout history, from serial killers to the inquisition, I just added those things to the list, to avoid dealing with my fear and disgust. I think I'm over it now, and it is a very big deal to me. I am grateful for the strength I have been given. 

At this point, I am forced to try to work through the actual feelings rather than transmuting them. I'm not sure how I will manage that yet. I've been having a lot of panic attacks, but I'm gradually desensitizing myself to certain triggers by watching movies in private, without any social consequences, where I have control over what I am seeing and can turn them off at any time. I am starting with depictions of mild forms of physical abuse, working up to emotional abuse, then maybe rape. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to handle torture horror that combines these elements, or if I would even want to.


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## amanda32 (Jul 23, 2009)

Snail: Yous is an usual situation. I don't really understand how torture is related to sex for you...except you had fantasies about torture that turned you on? Torture + Sex, I'm assuming?
It's a little interesting because when it gets to that point, I think there is a bit of a problem. Or can be. I've read a lot about serial killers, because I find them fascinating in a morbid way -- _because_ I don't understand them.
Anyway, I've read a lot of books by the top FBI profiler it's amazing how it's all about the fantasy for them. They fantasize about the murder/rape for a long time, then commit it, then fantasize it more. When the fantasy/memory begins to fade, they start fantasizing about someone else.
My point is (not that you're a serial killer!! lol), but the importance fantasy can play in a persons mind.
I've often thought, things have to be thought of, entertained, dreamed before they can become reality. And the more we dream, the further we go, for good and for bad.
"As a man thinks, so he is."
If you're fantasies had reached an uncomfortable point for you, then it's good you are taking control of them.


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## Lucem (Dec 2, 2009)

amanda32 said:


> I don't know how you HAVEN'T.
> Honestly.
> Dumbfounded.
> 
> ...


I think maybe you need to do some zen meditation or something.:mellow:


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## amanda32 (Jul 23, 2009)

Coffee Grinder: Do you think it would work??


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## Robatix (Mar 26, 2009)

thehigher said:


> very true. I would probably ejaculate from watching food network.


Don't eat dinner at this guy's house!


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## gnat (Dec 23, 2009)

It's not a big deal. I didn't start until I was 18, and I probably only do it an average of once a week these days, and sometimes I'll go months without doing it. I also feel the urge much less when I'm having regular sex. And I have a *high* sex drive, I just don't have a high masturbation drive, haha.

You'd probably enjoy it if you started, though it takes a while to get the hang of it when you first start, because your brain hasn't connected masturbation = good feelings. Jeez, mine still hasn't really done that after I've been doing it for a few years. It feels nice and it makes you more relaxed, and I'm glad I started doing it, but if you don't feel the need or want to do it, then don't worry about it. It's nowhere near as uncommon as people think.


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## Big Al Tal (Jan 20, 2010)

"masturbating is great. It's sex with someone I love!" -Woody Allen

XD


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

Get some porn and some lube. That should solve your problems.


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## JavaGypsy (Jan 19, 2010)

As other posters have stated there is nothing "wrong" about it, to each there own. But if you think it's wrong, then give it a try. You never know what could come of it....


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## roxtehproxy (Sep 9, 2009)

Try it.

Regards, peer pressure


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## screamofconscious (Oct 15, 2009)

My brother used to say he had no interest whatsoever. I'd have been happy to leave it at that but I had the misfortune of discovering his computer riddled with porn based spyware one day. I had to school him on using proper protection.
My point anyway, is that it is something that I think you will probably outgrow. He was 20 before he ever developed an interest, according to him.


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## Morgan Freeman (Oct 16, 2009)

Coffee Grinder said:


> Is there something wrong with me if I have never masturbated and have never had the urge to?


 
Wrong with you? Maybe...

Odd? Definitely.

I'll say, if you've never masturbated, you're probably not an INTP - They're the most _Happy Jackin'_ type around.

(Aside from the heart broken male INFx's who masturbate to their Ex-girlfriends while sobbing.)


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## floryshe (Jan 21, 2010)

i don't know if anyones mentioned this but you might have schizoid personality disorder...

from what i remember they're very abstract people that prefer to be alone, have no desire for masturbation or sex, things like that.



EDIT: I also just realized that you were an INTP. It's interesting because I had a discussion with an INTP awhile back that said SPD is like an extreme form of an INTP.


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## So Long So Long (Jun 6, 2009)

Wtf... He just doesn't want to masturbate. Stop assuming stuff you don't know, you guys.


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

get a girl to do it for you. if you are gonna have an epic first time....you might as well make it EPIC


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## windex (Dec 24, 2009)

thehigher said:


> get a girl to do it for you. if you are gonna have an epic first time....you might as well make it EPIC


If a girl does it for you, isn't that a handjob? Just being technical.


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## Haruhi Suzumiya (Dec 24, 2009)

I've been working with Coffee Grinder via MSN, one-on-one, to get him masturbationg. So far, very difficult! THERE MIGHT BE PROGRESS, THOUGH! MIGHT BE!  We can do it, CG!


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## thatguy (Apr 27, 2009)

As it seems to me, lust is the problem, and masterbation powers up lust like the sun powers up superman. As it seems to me, masterbation increases lust and lust gets in the way of how we see people, friends, etc.

I don't wanna be having sexual thoughts about my best bud's girlfriend, or his sister etc... not cool.


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## Hiccups24-7 (Oct 17, 2009)

Go to your doctor and get your hormone levels checked, including progesterone levels as they are know to effect male sexual interest and 'performance'. Otherwise enjoy it, life without it is a lot less distracting ^_^
I can't believe some guys jerk off up to ten times a day, that's just 0_o
See it as a blessing.


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## Robatix (Mar 26, 2009)

Shannonline said:


> Go to your doctor and get your hormone levels checked, including progesterone levels as they are know to effect male sexual interest and 'performance'. Otherwise enjoy it, life without it is a lot less distracting ^_^
> I can't believe some guys jerk off up to ten times a day, that's just 0_o
> See it as a blessing.


A person who manages ten times a day regularly is in need of more hobbies, but from a certain perspective, masturbation and its initiative urges can be a bother, as the act itself could be described as "scratching an itch," where the itch in question is persistent across many decades.


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## Hiccups24-7 (Oct 17, 2009)

Robatix said:


> A person who manages ten times a day regularly is in need of more hobbies, but from a certain perspective, masturbation and its initiative urges can be a bother, as the act itself could be described as "scratching an itch," where the itch in question is persistent across many decades.


I'm getting this feeling that you may of just clarified something for me, but I'm sure what or why?! lol :S *confuzzled*.


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## Nemo (Jan 30, 2010)

duuuuuuuude......


im a girl and even iiiiiiii do it on the regular... less now that im single.... more when im with someone that never gives it up.... but less when i know im gonna get some soon....


but either way i still do it!!! shit, who wouldnt? unless you dont find yourself attractive... i like my body. i look at myself and say damn im hot and imagine what so many guys would be doing to me... and it just happens.....



go love yourself dude. just do it. im sure even donald trump whacks off every once in a while, even with his supermodel wife.....


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## candidkamino (Feb 12, 2010)

aside: to those that do... generally which hand do you use? 
left
right
both
and is it different from your dominant writing hand? 
just curious.


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

windex said:


> If a girl does it for you, isn't that a handjob? Just being technical.


 yea, no you're fine. I didn't even think about it.


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## Narrator (Oct 11, 2009)

candidkamino said:


> aside: to those that do... generally which hand do you use?
> left
> right
> both
> ...


Both, in different ways, but my writing hand is always dominant.


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## Starry (Dec 4, 2009)

I didn't read this entire thread, but I'm wondering if anyone has ever heard of sexual transmutation or tried it....


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## WorldInk (Nov 27, 2009)

You could have low libido/testosterone or be depressed. I recommend trying it, it should be fun and is healthy exercise(both mentally and physically).



candidkamino said:


> aside: to those that do... generally which hand do you use?
> left
> right
> both
> ...


I actually don't use my hands.:blushed:



> I have found that it has been worth the trouble. My fantasies, which were disturbing me and adding to my anxiety problems, have stopped being a problem. ...well, the violent torture fantasies, anyhow. I just don't have them anymore, because their only purpose was to create the feeling of arousal. Now that I am avoiding that feeling, they have no use other than to remind me of scary things that I don't want to have happening in my head.


Studies have shown that even exercising "dark" fantasies is healthy. I have similar fantasies, but I have found ways to make them more comfortable/playful and less dark and violent.


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