# Autism and strong attachment to objects



## Hurricane Matthew (Nov 9, 2012)

This has been something on my mind lately and I'm not sure where to discuss it, so here is a PerC thread about autism and the strong attachment autistic people have towards certain objects. It's a common listed symptom pretty much anywhere, and sometimes/oftentimes described as an "inappropriate" attachment to objects. I'm just wondering... what does this actually MEAN? I don't see it described in depth very much and all the descriptions seem to assume whoever is reading automatically know what an "inappropriate" attachment to an object is. Also, isn't it normal to have strong attachments to material things? Most/all kids have their favorite toys, for example. Most people keep trinkets and mementos of the past to retain memories of people and times of their life. Souvenirs are popular things to buy when traveling. So at what point is this attachment "normal" or "inappropriate" or abnormally strong to warrant being a symptom of a neurological disorder?

I've been thinking about this for a weeks after having a conversation with a non-autistic friend ((I'm diagnosed as autistic, though I question the diagnosis at times)) and somehow the subject came up where I described past experiences with inanimate objects where I was very emotionally attached. I thought my stories felt really normal, but she thought I was crazy weird about it and said most people can't relate. One story I had was about an old cozy chair my family had when I was a kid and it was my very favorite chair. It was worn down, old, broken ((it couldn't rock properly anymore)) and had nothing really special about it, but I saw it as extraordinarily special and comforting, attaching all my memories of "security" to it, like sitting/sleeping in it when I was sick and stuff. Eventually, when I was about 11 or 12 years old, it became too broken for my parents to stand so they decided to take it to a landfill and throw it away. The whole ordeal broke my heart and I fought with all I could to keep the chair where it was. I lost the battle against my parents and they took the chair away anyway to toss it out. Being with them when the chair was added to the landfill, I cried the whole time and watched as it was taken away, added to the junk pile as if it was any old piece of broken furniture. I then proceeded to cry for days over it to mourn as if I had lost a dear friend... maybe it was a week, idk. It was a while, and actually talking about it again now still makes me cry, even though it's been a decade since it happened. My life is full of stories like this and I didn't really think it was all that weird until I was talking to my friend. I had seen "strong attachment to objects" as part of autism descriptions but I guess I never gave it much thought until it was pointed out to me like that.

So yeah... just wondering what others might have to say about it since I hardly ever see this symptom of autism come up in threads here despite how common autism threads are. 

If you're autistic, can you relate to my experience? And if you're not autistic, would you consider it something unusual/strange/inappropriate to be that attached to an object or is it normal enough for being the emotional species that humans are?


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## saturnne (Sep 8, 2009)

I think it's interesting that attachment is a universal need. I'm not autistic, but I am fascinated by people who are systematically known to think differently because I believe there is always a way to reach out to touch them and communicate at countless levels. 

I honestly don't understand how I could get attached to inanimate objects, but then again, it's not scientifically, clinically or morally accurate for anyone to try to gain knowledge of something by only applying it to the self. If you get attached to things (and not people, I know to be), to me that sounds like you could never experience things like jealousy or self-loathing, which is pretty amazing. 

I believe it's just a different way of knowing world, and that's pretty cool. Knowledge is knowledge, and a people-based knowledge is bound to be biased, whereas a things-based knowledge is pure and in the very least more accurate...


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## Hurricane Matthew (Nov 9, 2012)

saturnne said:


> Knowledge is knowledge, and a people-based knowledge is bound to be biased, whereas a things-based knowledge is pure and in the very least more accurate...


That's something I hadn't thought about before and it's an interesting idea. My friend actually told me something similar that my bias towards people isn't nearly as strong as what most people have and it's something she likes about me when we talk about things, especially when it comes to serious and sensitive topics about other people. She values my honesty in opinion a lot because of that. I wonder how much it's related.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

I always thought it was part of being a territorial introvert, or perhaps that I inherited my mother's (and grandmother's) tendency to be a hoarder, but there is certainly something special about comforting objects.

I really can't stand having anyone move or touch my things, partly because I keep track of where they are by memorizing the last place I saw them, but more because I do feel a strong sentimental attachment to anything I consider part of my "nest." 

I have a dress that I have owned for about a decade and a half. I wore holes in it, and I kept wearing it until it was too torn up to keep wearing. I still have it, even now, and I have no intention of ever getting rid of it. For a while, I kept telling myself I was going to take it apart to make a pattern so I could sew a new one like it, but I can't bring myself to harm it. There isn't any reason it should be a sentimental object. It was something I picked out at a clothing bank when I was living in Portland, one of many donated dresses I have owned in my poverty. I once tried to find another just like it, saved up my money and bought something that came close. Even then, the other dress never had the same feel to it or the same attachment. 

I had a fuzzy blue coat in elementary school and middle school that I refused to take off, even on hot days. I found it comforting, and when adults asked me "Aren't you too hot?" I would lie so they wouldn't make me remove it.

It isn't just clothing. I have a backpacker guitar that got me through one of the most painful times in my life, and during that time, I carried it on my back everywhere I went, whether appropriate or not. After I left the bad situation, I kept it constantly with me for a few years, taking it even on dates or when there wasn't room for it in the vehicle and I had to carry it on my lap. Even now that I can go places without it, I feel abnormally protective toward it. 

When I was in high school and college, I carried a wooden flute with me everywhere, even to my classes, and I spent my lunch period playing it instead of eating. I was so attached to it that I even slept with it in my bed and hugged it close to my chest every night. 

Right now, my art kit is my special item, although I think being married has made me less dependent on having a single specific magical belonging to ground me. Now I mostly feel attached to objects when I am away from my husband for an hour or more, which is why I am carrying my little art backpack with me when I go into town today.


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## Hurricane Matthew (Nov 9, 2012)

@snail D'awww your post gives me a lot of warm, fuzzy feelings inside xD Thank you for sharing. "Territorial introvert" is definitely a term to describe me, and I'm probably the most territorial human being I've met. My room is like a sacred kingdom and a corner in my house is one I've declared as being "mine" where only I'm "allowed" to sit and arrange to my own liking. Other people touching it is so bad lol. I wouldn't call myself a hoarder, though, mainly because I don't actively look for things to add to my collection of "treasures". I still own most of what I've ever owned in my life and despite that, my room isn't that cluttered since my family was never the wealthiest to always buy new things. But maybe I would have more of a "hoarder" status if I had more things xD It's hard for me to let go lol. Everything seems to have a memory attached and a side of me fears if I get rid of something with a memory, then I'll lose that memory along with the object and that makes me sad.


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