# How to tell the difference between ISFP and INTJ?



## jetser (Jan 6, 2016)

MissElle said:


> I think I didn't understand the exact meaning of your question, however, if by things, you mean, physical things and my reaction to them, I'm usually not that fast at that.
> 
> However, when anxiety kicks in, I become faster, and when I'm depressed or hopeless, I get slower at doing things.


Yeah, I meant things like a phone ringing or other sudden incidents. If you're Se aux you should be usually quick reacting to that.


----------



## MissElle (Oct 1, 2017)

jetser said:


> Yeah, I meant things like a phone ringing or other sudden incidents. If you're Se aux you should be usually quick reacting to that.


I have this weird habit when It comes to phone!
As soon as it starts ringing, I get extremely anxious
(Who is this? What does s/he want? I'm not in the mood for talking! How can I avoid it? What should I say to this person? For how long is s/he going to speak? What should I get ready for? What if I regret answering or npt answering it later? What if it's bad news? etc)

But sometimes extreme stress/anxiety and quick reactions cause more problems and you might not do the job correctly and this is why I assume I'm not Se dom or aux.
I think Se dom/aux people can relax and handle things like that better. They rarely would seem clumsy when stressed out?!


----------



## jetser (Jan 6, 2016)

MissElle said:


> I have this weird habit when It comes to phone!
> As soon as it starts ringing, I get extremely anxious
> (Who is this? What does s/he want? I'm not in the mood for talking! How can I avoid it? What should I say to this person? For how long is s/he going to speak? What should I get ready for? What if I regret answering or npt answering it later? What if it's bad news? etc)


Same here. It's called HSP *. Or at least I think it is. You should probably go test it.
As for Se aux, I don't know. People with this function I know are extremely handy, know their way of doing, practical and usually down to earth. It's unusual for them to stress out because (usually) they are ready for everything.
It's more often that they get stuck in life or regret something they haven't done earlier (like studying for example). (because their Ni is tertiary they gradually come to the conclusion that they're missing out on something that they don't know exactly what it is)

* as in Highly Sensitive Person


----------



## MissElle (Oct 1, 2017)

jetser said:


> As for Se aux, I don't know. People with this function I know are extremely handy, know their way of doing, practical and usually down to earth. It's unusual for them to stress out because (usually) they are ready for everything.
> It's more often that they get stuck in life or regret something they haven't done earlier (like studying for example). (because their Ni is tertiary they gradually come to the conclusion that they're missing out on something that they don't know exactly what it is)


If this is the truth about Se dom/aux people, then I probably don't seem like one ;

I'm not always relaxed or ready for everything. I can only be ready for things I "predict" that "Might" happen.
And I get mad and anxious "IF" things don't go that way

Also, I might get anxious if I can't predict or control a situation that is going to happen on future (What I should do, or how I should act).

Which function is this?


----------



## jetser (Jan 6, 2016)

MissElle said:


> If this is the truth about Se dom/aux people, then I probably don't seem like one ;
> 
> I'm not always relaxed or ready for everything. I can only be ready for things I "predict" that "Might" happen.
> And I get mad and anxious "IF" things don't go that way
> ...


If you only can see one way happening in the future then it's probably Ni.
I mean I never heard anyone with leading Si claiming that he's only ready for things (s)he predicts.
Looks like you see a way of flowing things only one direction - that's Ni. Or at least Ni-Se.


----------



## my melody (Nov 3, 2009)

MissElle said:


> If this is the truth about Se dom/aux people, then I probably don't seem like one ;
> 
> I'm not always relaxed or ready for everything. I can only be ready for things I "predict" that "Might" happen.
> And I get mad and anxious "IF" things don't go that way
> ...


Do you imagine one specific thing happening which you're very certain will happen? (Sounds like Ni)

Or do you imagine multiple possibilities for how an event will unfold, and by doing so feel like you are in a way 'preparing' yourself for those possibilities? You don't know for _sure_ what will happen, but by thinking about what _might_ happen, it brings you some amount of control and/or comfort? (Sounds like Si+Ne)


----------



## MissElle (Oct 1, 2017)

@Jester & @my melody ,

Usually when I plan for future (which I do everyday!), I plan a thing in my head, or on a piece of paper if I'm stressed or confused.

Based on experience I can tell you that it not always goes the way I want. And it can make me really mad and naggy!

I give you a real life example;

I was about to have an important test/meeting next week.
I planned (from days ago) ; "I will do an impressive job in the meeting, then I will pack my suitcase and go on a vacation to my gransparents' house and etc".

Today, I found out that the meeting will be about 2-3 weeks later. This made me really mad, eventhough I didn't tell'em that!

I also get mad when college class schedules or exam times change, 
When It's a busy day and I have to stay at work longer.
When I have other plans, and someone invites me somewhere else.
When uninvited guests show up,
When plans change,
When I can't go by my plans, etc...


I even make plans for my freetime.

Example;
I plan to stay home this weekend and rest, read, focus on myself, etc.
Now, if a family or friend invites me to a party, if a classmate asks for my help, if an uninvited guest arrives, (anything like that), it can change my weekend (introverts' heaven) to hell !

I might see multiple possibilities/plans for something every once in a while. Specially for sensory things (*) But I still get mad when the one I wanted or predicted does not happen.

*by sensory things, I mean shopping, ordering food, etc. I may have plans for the place I want to go to, but choosing a sensory related thing is really hard for me. Examples;

Picking something from a menu,
Choosing what to wear,
Choosing what to buy,
Choosing my favorites,
Choosing a perfume (scent),
Choosing what to drink,
Etc...


----------



## jetser (Jan 6, 2016)

MissElle said:


> @Jester & @my melody ,
> 
> Usually when I plan for future (which I do everyday!), I plan a thing in my head, or on a piece of paper if I'm stressed or confused.
> 
> ...


It's hard to say. Right now I only can tell that you're probably a J.

"I also get mad when college class schedules or exam times change,
When It's a busy day and I have to stay at work longer.
When I have other plans, and someone invites me somewhere else.
When uninvited guests show up,
When plans change,
When I can't go by my plans, etc..."

But this doesn't sound like Ni. It can be anything.


----------



## MissElle (Oct 1, 2017)

jetser said:


> It's hard to say. Right now I only can tell that you're probably a J.
> 
> "I also get mad when college class schedules or exam times change,
> When It's a busy day and I have to stay at work longer.
> ...


If you could "guess" my type based on all these things, what type would you pick?


----------



## my melody (Nov 3, 2009)

MissElle said:


> I was about to have an important test/meeting next week.
> I planned (from days ago) ; "I will do an impressive job in the meeting, then I will pack my suitcase and go on a vacation to my gransparents' house and etc".
> 
> Today, I found out that the meeting will be about 2-3 weeks later. This made me really mad, eventhough I didn't tell'em that!
> ...


I relate really well to all this. I expect things to go a certain way, and when they don't it's really frustrating and I can get upset and ridden with anxiety, depending on the situation. This information alone doesn't _necessarily_ point to one specific type, and some of this might be common in any average introvert, but it sounds like some stereotypical ISxJ stuff. I don't know if an Ni-dom would think similarly, but I can say this is very similar to how I am. I can say that my husband, who is an INTP, would not get nearly as annoyed with this sort of stuff. He's much more go with the flow and doesn't usually let any of this minor stuff get to him much.



> I might see multiple possibilities/plans for something every once in a while. Specially for sensory things (*) But I still get mad when the one I wanted or predicted does not happen.
> 
> *by sensory things, I mean shopping, ordering food, etc. I may have plans for the place I want to go to, but choosing a sensory related thing is really hard for me. Examples;
> 
> ...


I relate to a lot of this as well. I don't know that it would be indicative of any specific type though.


----------



## jetser (Jan 6, 2016)

MissElle said:


> If you could "guess" my type based on all these things, what type would you pick?


I don't have a better idea than ISFJ or INFJ. I would pick the latter simply because IN**s are more interested in this stuff and more likely to come here and asks for opinion of others page after page.


----------



## MissElle (Oct 1, 2017)

Any new thoughts?


----------



## Turi (May 9, 2017)

*Oddball/unique typing alert!*








Despite previous typings which were based off of individual posts you made and responses you gave, I believe a pattern emerges that is more indicative of your type than any one thing in particular.

You've made 15 threads or so, trying to type yourself, all of which you seem genuinely troubled, can't wrap your head around this or that, and you're basically immediately moved to consider any and all opinions that you're given.

This indicates not only a preference for a dominant extroverted judging function (Te/Fe) but it can also be cross-referenced with an inferior introverted judging function which explains your lack of self-awareness/identity.

Which functions, however - that's the question - because we can't discern Fe from Te through this method due to the nature of these kinds of threads - you, like everyone else who makes a type-me thread, are interested in peoples reasons (Te).
Doesn't seem like the correct way to strike off Fe - so I went through an older thread to try and hone in on which ones, because I do feel Te/Fe is dominant, and Ti/Fi is inferior in accordance with this emergent pattern.


This is interesting:


> 6.What are your defense mechanisms?
> 
> ●I start avoiding people or certain environment or confrontation as much as I can, and decide to bottle up my feelings and my thoughts.
> And I would become passive aggressive.


Do you generally keep things inside, or does this only occur when this defence mechanism kicks in i.e you're generally pretty open?



> 10.Think of a time when you felt anxious and disconnected from yourself and others. What did you think about yourself, others, and the entire world during this time?
> 
> ●I mentally break down.
> Start feeling even more cynical and anxious.
> ...


This is likely inferior Ti - people-focused which suggests dominant Fe - feelings of worthlessness (according to others), you don't deserve good things, you shouldn't do things you enjoy - inferior function is a tidal wave of self-hate/pity which means an introverted judging function is your sore spot, and due to it all being related to people, it makes sense your dominant function is therefore Fe.

If it were inferior Fi, you'd be taking swings at social structures, hierarchies, rules, systems etc due to it being linked to dominant Te (group-reason based).




> 11.What things do you feel you cannot do because they might jeopardize your survival?
> 
> 
> ●I feel like I cannot be open enough in real life.
> Because I might regret it later, people might use it against me, It might offend some people. And that I hate drama and confrontation/conflict.


This likely locks in dominant Fe, you appear driven to make sure your own personal values fit in with those of the wider social spectrum - don't want to offend others, don't like conflict, don't want to say things you'll regret later, don't want people to use it against you etc etc this is all awareness of social values/likes/dislikes - so at least here we can maybe separate Fe from Te.


So, considering this - I'm backflipping on my previous typings of you, and suggest dominant Fe and inferior Ti - ExFJ type.

Filling in the auxiliary and tertiary function is more difficult, because although you're quite materialistic as is evidenced in numerous postings - consistently - your interests suggest some more abstract topics:



> 3.What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
> 
> ●Philosophy, psychology, liberalism, business, architectures, future goals, different countries, cultures and languages, buildings, adventure, horror, imaginary what ifs, Taboo topics, favorite things or ideas, films and sometimes actors, food and culture, astronomy, religion and atheism, and other random things.


Not only are there abstract topics here, but there are a _lot _of them which tells me you likely are not preferring an introverted perceiving function - instead, preferring to gather more and more and more of _this _kind of information - imo, as weird as it sounds - I think you're an *ESFJ-Ne* subtype - I think you _lead _with Fe, have inferior Ti and both of these line up correctly, however your preferred method _perception _is _also_ extroverted.

This is likely why you find it so hard to type yourself - both of your preferred judging and perceiving functions are extroverted - complete lack of _self_.
Having an inferior introverted judging function means you'll have a lack of self-identity, and preferring an extroverted perceiving function means you're not exactly crash hot at _organizing _the information you have, instead preferring to gather as much as possible.

I realize this is an oddball typing, but it's the only one that makes _sense _given the pattern that's emerged from your post history.
Apologies for not cramming you into one of the predefined 16 types - I don't think they fit everyone - and if they fit _you_, well then you wouldn't have 15+ threads made whereby you're trying to identify your type, would you.


There is likely a case to be made (perhaps it already has been made) for ESFP as well, no doubt - I touched on your preference for Se above - but I don't believe inferior Ni can be cross-referenced, and I don't think Fi-Te fit in the middle there either because you don't prefer an introverted judging function (imo) so the stock-standard ESFP Se-Fi-Te-Ni stack just doesn't match the information we're given.


I realize this is an oddball typing, disregard it if you want - to me, it's what makes the most sense when I try to type you in the most objective way I can, and remove 'vibes' from the equation.


----------



## MissElle (Oct 1, 2017)

Turi said:


> Do you generally keep things inside, or does this only occur when this defence mechanism kicks in i.e you're generally pretty open?


No I'm not really open in real life.
(I actually have no idea how I can be kind of expressive here!!!)

Idk if it's high Fe or low Fe using, but I suck at this function and don't know how to use it correctly

I said that in another thread of mine, and I'm going to copy paste it here too ;


I either don't use it, or use it in a clumsy or exaggerated way.

For me, being bad at Fe is not like being blunt and assertive toward others. Yes, I can be blunt SOMEtimes and specially around family, but try to keep my blunt comments in my head, as I don't want to cause more drama or make ppl sad or mad.

My lack of Fe is kinda like not knowing how to use it correctly ;

*not knowing how to assert myself without hurting people. (So I'm NOT assertive).

*not knowing how to make friends or how to keep them.

*not knowing what to do around upset, hurt or angry people or friends.

*not knowing how to show it or mention it correctly I feel hurt or left out or used.

*not being confrontational because I don't know how to use my Fe properly and being afraid of it going out of control.

*not knowing what to say and what not to say, so keeping quiet.

*not knowing how to defend myself correctly.

*not knowing how to become popular, trusted and well-liked.

Etc etc.




In my daily life, I'm not really open. When I'm hurt or a bit mad, I still keep it to myself...until one day that I explode. And then I start regreting it later.


Sometimes I can express my anger about some THINGS or issues. But I can't show my emotions or feeling hurt or used or left out.


----------

