# Flirting!



## s0n1c800m (Dec 6, 2010)

Flirting~!
Flirting is fun, and I probably do more of it than I should. :blushed:
I don't normally notice I've gone too far until folks start professing their undying love, and then I really start to wish I was better at diplomacy than flirting. :wink:
Flirting is a subtle thing for me, honestly, unless I'm actually interested.
In your hypothetical scenario, were I the young woman in question, I'd approach the young man with a bit of a bounce in my step (and in my sweater), probably touch his arm, look up at him through my eyelashes, and flash a dimply smile. I'd walk with him to somewhere with seats and few distractions. I'd ask him about his day and respond with veiled innuendos when applicable. [This is where subtle ends and direct begins.]
If he were responsive and seemed interested (and since I tend to be attracted to the shy ones), I'd probably lean close and whisper something like, "This is the part where you're supposed to ask for my number," and then wait for him (after he finished blushing and stuttering) to ask, smiling patiently, possibly laughing. :crazy:
This -- a combination of assertiveness and blatantly-feigned coyness -- seems to work for me. It's all about juxtaposition. I'm small in stature, soft-spoken, and gentle. I'm generally quite reserved and don't say much to anyone, but I'm far from shy. 


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------​PS: There is quite enough victimization of women in this world. There is no need to go looking for it where it doesn't exist. Jumping at shadows does nothing more than make a lot of noise and disturb the neighbors. Personally, I'm deeply offended by the implication that I should feel like a victim over a dubious and grossly-misinterpreted slight.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

mrscientist said:


> This is stoopid. Yes i said stoopid. Can you stop being so politically correct all the time Skycloud? Will i get banned for calling a black guy black or a white guy white?


I'm not being politically correct, I'm just pointing out that chick is a misogynistic word used to imply that women are weak and helpless. My last comment about just saying man and woman was meant to be humorous.

Why would you get banned for calling a black person black or a white person white? That's actually an accurate description of their skin complexion based on the societal construct of race. Meanwhile, women and chicks have very little in common.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

EctoplasmicGoo said:


> Chica is Spanish for girl, are Spanish people misogynistic? Chico is Spanish for boy, are the Spanish belittling men now?


Yes, but they have nothing to do with baby chickens.



> But i think what needs to be said here is the intent, if someone was using the word "chick" in a negative way, such as to belittle someone, then i think there would be reason for being defensive. But based off this thread, "chick" is just a word, used to describe a woman. In the context it's used saying it's meant to hurt anyone is like saying "dude" is an insult to a man.
> 
> That's how i see it.


Of course, but when you post it numerous times in one thread in some strange and silly attempt to be humorous, it's difficult to see the intent.



> Misogynistic is such a strong word also, i hardly think he was trying to make anyone feel bad.


I wasn't saying he was being misogynistic, I was saying that the word is often misogynistic in it's use.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

s0n1c800m said:


> PS: There is quite enough victimization of women in this world. There is no need to go looking for it where it doesn't exist. Jumping at shadows does nothing more than make a lot of noise and disturb the neighbors. Personally, I'm deeply offended by the implication that I should feel like a victim over a dubious and grossly-misinterpreted slight.


Very true, and I have to agree with you. Apologies if anything I said was offensive to you.


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## Nitou (Feb 3, 2010)

I might flirt by making a sandwich for the target. I like a guy to open the door for me or offer to help me carry something heavy. Someone here mentioned biting... yeah that is hot. I like it when the guy walks up and grabs my hair and bites my neck. But only if I am attracted to him. If not, then I will call HR and try to get him fired/expelled for sexual harassment.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

Making a sandwich is flirting? That doesn't sound effective at all. Very funny post, though.


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## aLamour (Nov 17, 2010)

I know guys that would completely fall for you if you made him a sandwich and let him play black Ops...


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

aLamour said:


> I know guys that would completely fall for you if you made him a sandwich and let me play black Ops...


Really? Wow, that sounds slightly pathetic. I feel sorry for them if that's all it takes to fall for someone.


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## Nitou (Feb 3, 2010)

skycloud86 said:


> Making a sandwich is flirting? That doesn't sound effective at all. Very funny post, though.


Making a sandwich isn't effective? Maybe that's why every guy I ever tried to ask out said he was married or had a girlfriend. :sad:


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Apparently, I can't tell a guy he is a "cutie" without him thinking I'm flirting, so a sandwich would no less be considered a proposition for marriage. 

I'm starting to learn. :sad:


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## UniqueFinallyAmongPeers (Jan 2, 2011)

s0n1c800m said:


> In your hypothetical scenario, were I the young woman in question, I'd approach the young man with a bit of a bounce in my step (and in my sweater), probably touch his arm, look up at him through my eyelashes, and flash a dimply smile. I'd walk with him to somewhere with seats and few distractions. I'd ask him about his day and respond with veiled innuendos when applicable. [This is where subtle ends and direct begins.]
> If he were responsive and seemed interested (and since I tend to be attracted to the shy ones), I'd probably lean close and whisper something like, "This is the part where you're supposed to ask for my number," and then wait for him (after he finished blushing and stuttering) to ask, smiling patiently, possibly laughing. :crazy:
> This -- a combination of assertiveness and blatantly-feigned coyness -- seems to work for me. It's all about juxtaposition. I'm small in stature, soft-spoken, and gentle. I'm generally quite reserved and don't say much to anyone, but I'm far from shy. .


I can tell you that would work on me very well at least, hehe.

I might be subconsciously flirting with some females I talk to, I'm pretty sure that I do.
I can't put my finger on any particular thing, but I'm pretty certain I do something.

Unfortunately, I can't sense if someone has an interest in me unless it's blatantly obvious (possibly not even then) and I have trouble determining whether or not someone else is flirting with me.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

Nitou said:


> Making a sandwich isn't effective? Maybe that's why every guy I ever tried to ask out said he was married or had a girlfriend. :sad:


You're just making some food, I don't see how that could be seen as flirting.


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## Digger Blue (Dec 1, 2010)

*Neck Biting in the Workplace*



Nitou said:


> I might flirt by making a sandwich for the target. I like a guy to open the door for me or offer to help me carry something heavy. Someone here mentioned biting... yeah that is hot. I like it when the guy walks up and grabs my hair and bites my neck. But only if I am attracted to him. If not, then I will call HR and try to get him fired/expelled for sexual harassment.



Does this happen to you often in the workplace?

Just curious.
digger blue


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

Digger Blue said:


> Does this happen to you often in the workplace?
> 
> Just curious.
> digger blue


I suspect that it's a joke.


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## Digger Blue (Dec 1, 2010)

It is a flirt. 
Digger Blue


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## Isildin (Aug 4, 2010)

s0n1c800m said:


> Flirting~!
> Flirting is fun, and I probably do more of it than I should. :blushed:
> I don't normally notice I've gone too far until folks start professing their undying love, and then I really start to wish I was better at diplomacy than flirting. :wink:
> Flirting is a subtle thing for me, honestly, unless I'm actually interested.
> ...


I suddenly have an enormous urge to ask your number 

And flirting? me?
Uhm, im more the blushing and stuttering kind, although, i can flirt just fine, as long as im not really interested, which pisses me off


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

Digger Blue said:


> It is a flirt.
> Digger Blue


What is? Making a joke where she talks about being bitten in the neck whilst at work?


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## Digger Blue (Dec 1, 2010)

I was going to send in my resume. 
:crazy:


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## s0n1c800m (Dec 6, 2010)

skycloud86 said:


> What is? Making a joke where she talks about being bitten in the neck whilst at work?


Yes. Most definitely.
Thinly-veiled innuendos and sly references to one's sexuality are definitely flirty, in the right context. This, a thread about flirting, is definitely the right context. 
I'm tempted to start a 'flirt with the person above you' thread, but I'd hate for anyone to take it seriously.
That's where I normally get into trouble. People think I always mean it when I'm flirtatious. I only sometimes mean it.

I have trouble figuring out if someone else is serious about their flirtation with me, too. That's probably why I don't wait to figure out if they are interested. A person has to be really, really direct for me to realize I'm being pursued. For instance, I didn't realize my current SO and I were dating until he told me he loved me. :blushed:


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## Pyroscope (Apr 8, 2010)

I don't always know I'm doing it apparently  I've been told before that I'm flirting with people when I had no idea they would see it that way...
I don't reeeally tend to try to flirt with people unless I'm dating them or in that rare mood where I'm not worried about how it'll go down with them. But yeah, flirting with a girlfriend is hawt :laughing:


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## aLamour (Nov 17, 2010)

skycloud86 said:


> Really? Wow, that sounds slightly pathetic. I feel sorry for them if that's all it takes to fall for someone.


For some guys, I think it shows a girl's flexibility to let them play Black Ops. Lots of girls hate when guys ignore them for a video game, so they see it as the girl accepting them for who they are. 

The whole sandwich thing? Yeah, I don't understand it either. It kind of pisses me off when a guy tells me "Go make me a sandwich." My immediate reactions are, "Get off your lazy butt and make your own!" or "can I get a please?" It seems dumb, but I don't like that it links back to the traditional roles of women are _supposed_ to cook and stuff for guys.

But going back to the whole black ops and sandwich thing, it's kind of a joke. I mean, some guys are shallow like that. But there are other guys who don't really mean it when they say it.

And that was me reading way too far into a situation. :crazy:


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

aLamour said:


> For some guys, I think it shows a girl's flexibility to let them play Black Ops. Lots of girls hate when guys ignore them for a video game, so they see it as the girl accepting them for who they are.


Unless they play video games for far too long, I don't see why a woman would have a problem with her boyfriend playing video games, but I suppose the idea is of a man who neglects his relationship in favour of playing video games. 



> The whole sandwich thing? Yeah, I don't understand it either. It kind of pisses me off when a guy tells me "Go make me a sandwich." My immediate reactions are, "Get off your lazy butt and make your own!" or "can I get a please?" It seems dumb, but I don't like that it links back to the traditional roles of women are _supposed_ to cook and stuff for guys.


Unfortunately, many men are like that, and there's too much joking about women and sandwiches on the Internet. It's like some men are still children who need to be looked after.



> But going back to the whole black ops and sandwich thing, it's kind of a joke. I mean, some guys are shallow like that. But there are other guys who don't really mean it when they say it.


I'm sure.



> And that was me reading way too far into a situation. :crazy:


Yeah, I find I did that sometimes as well.


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## Digger Blue (Dec 1, 2010)

*Flirting*



s0n1c800m said:


> Yes. Most definitely.
> Thinly-veiled innuendos and sly references to one's sexuality are definitely flirty, in the right context. This, a thread about flirting, is definitely the right context.
> I'm tempted to start a 'flirt with the person above you' thread, but I'd hate for anyone to take it seriously.
> That's where I normally get into trouble. People think I always mean it when I'm flirtatious. I only sometimes mean it.
> ...


Dear Sonic,
You are sooooooo damned hot! Like, Oh Wow!
XXXOOOXXX
SWAK!

Truly Yours for the next 15 minutes,
Digger Blue!
:crazy:


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## enfda (Nov 6, 2010)

s0n1c800m said:


> Yes. Most definitely.
> Thinly-veiled innuendos and sly references to one's sexuality are definitely flirty, in the right context. This, a thread about flirting, is definitely the right context.
> I'm tempted to start a 'flirt with the person above you' thread, but I'd hate for anyone to take it seriously.
> That's where I normally get into trouble. People think I always mean it when I'm flirtatious. I only sometimes mean it.
> ...


Cool a flirting game!! ahah

Well, you can use body language to flirt and ambiguous jokes can be fun and flirty... I tend to joke pretty much or to say weird shifty things, I love seeing the (sometimes shocked) reactions of people! Though sometimes I've also said the truth by pretending to be joking, and that was cool too ahah 

Last time, I danced rock & roll with a guy who I had never met before... and I guess we flirted though we never talked as the music was so loud!! It was fun and intense because so it was the crazy dance!


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## velvet (Nov 26, 2010)

Digger Blue said:


> Astute that you realized making fun of a guy doesn't work well. There are certainly other ways to flirt, however.
> I had a gal put on her best sexy voice and say, "Hello, Mister." Now she was playing around, and she knew I was off limits, but we both had fun with it. :laughing:
> Digger Blue


That's my way of flirting but some guys are slow to catch it and take it the wrong way. The ones I have connection with, know that I'm joking with them.


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## Monte (Feb 17, 2010)

LMAO. Wow, skycloud. Your earlier posts are EXACTLY what I was talking about.

But you seem intelligent, surely you're just trolling.

Anyhow... I LOVE flirting. I was very proud of myself the other night.

At a bar, shooting pool with some of my chick friends and there are some dudes a few tables down shooting as well. One is cute as fuck. Dear, god he looked delicious! So I was gonna give it some time and then talk to him... unfortunately one of his friends started like... dying or some shit, so they had to leave early. I'm like "Fuuuuck" 'cause I wanted his number and I HATE, HATE, HATE just doing the whole "Hi, your name? Oh, I'm Tekia, gimme yo numbah, hoe" thing. Ugh. BORING. So I decide I'm going to improvise. He's already at his car, so I hurry my ass up and get out there. Conversation goes as followed...

Me: You left something!
Him: /feakingout WHAT? WHAT DID I LEAVE? I HAVE MY WALLET, MY KEYS, EVEN MY LIGHTER, WHAT DID I LEAVE!?
He looked at me like I was saving his life or something.
Me: You left my number~ 
Him: /stillconfusedforasecond ... Oh! I did, I did. 

Then we laugh about it for the longest. He acted like he left his newborn in there or something.
Anyway, now he and I are pretty cool, hanging out today, actually~


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## mrscientist (Jul 4, 2010)

Monte said:


> Me: You left something!
> Him: /feakingout WHAT? WHAT DID I LEAVE? I HAVE MY WALLET, MY KEYS, EVEN MY LIGHTER, WHAT DID I LEAVE!?
> He looked at me like I was saving his life or something.
> Me: You left my number~
> Him: /stillconfusedforasecond ... Oh! I did, I did.


I like that attitude. Would make my life a lot easier since i rarely pick up on signals on time! So yes, if you like someone, just fucking say it and save both a lot of precious time.


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## Digger Blue (Dec 1, 2010)

*Flirting for fun with both on the same page*



velvet said:


> That's my way of flirting but some guys are slow to catch it and take it the wrong way. The ones I have connection with, know that I'm joking with them.


Isn't it fun when it works great, just for the fun of it?


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## bronwen (May 18, 2009)

honestly i don't realize i'm flirting half the time. this has led to quite a few misunderstandings with both men and women. when i think i'm being friendly & courteous (eye contact, lotsa smiling, expressing my sillier side), guys/girls think i wanna date them. so unless we're making out hardcore, i have no romantic interest in you.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Meh, its hard to catch the signals. Even if I'm making out with you or in bed with you, don't assume I like you.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

pinkrasputin said:


> Meh, its hard to catch the signals. Even if I'm making out with you or in bed with you, don't assume I like you.


Why would you make out with someone or be in bed with someone you didn't like?


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## JoetheBull (Apr 29, 2010)

I don't really understand flirting or how to do it. After reading this thread I am even more confused and possibly beyond that:laughing:.


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## enfda (Nov 6, 2010)

JoetheBull said:


> I don't really understand flirting or how to do it. After reading this thread I am even more confused and possibly beyond that:laughing:.


Soooo ... what are you gonna do tonight?  

eheh


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## JoetheBull (Apr 29, 2010)

enfda said:


> Soooo ... what are you gonna do tonight?
> 
> eheh


:blushedis she flirting with? damn what do I say?) ehh work then world of warcraft maybe


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## chances2468 (Oct 29, 2010)

If I am in a relationship, the only person I will flirt with is my significant other. If I am single, I will flirt with someone only if I have a romantic interest in the person. Sorry, I just don't get people who flirt with everyone, whether or not in a relationship. I think an acquaintance once alluded that he liked to make everyone feel special. But the consequence of that is you make the person you're dating feel less special. Also, I think flirting can lead to the next step, if not careful.


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## Digger Blue (Dec 1, 2010)

*Flirting in the presence of your mate*



chances2468 said:


> If I am in a relationship, the only person I will flirt with is my significant other. If I am single, I will flirt with someone only if I have a romantic interest in the person. Sorry, I just don't get people who flirt with everyone, whether or not in a relationship. I think an acquaintance once alluded that he liked to make everyone feel special. But the consequence of that is you make the person you're dating feel less special. Also, I think flirting can lead to the next step, if not careful.


I used to flirt with the old ladies at church, and I'd do that in the presence of my wife. Now that I'm older, I do not flirt with them. 

My dad used to be so incredibly smooth with the waitresses that they'd give him extra large desserts. Well, he didn't flirt, he just was smooth: "Hello, young lady." I should have been taking notes. 

Flirting can be done for fun. You have to know what you're about, however. I made a promise when I married my wife that I would not cheat on her or divorce here. I take that very seriously. I always wear my wedding ring. I guess I know what I'm about. 

Regards,
Digger Blue


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

skycloud86 said:


> Why would you make out with someone or be in bed with someone you didn't like?


Anger? Pity? 

Believe me, it's not pretty.


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## Rez (Nov 6, 2009)

Flirting is too much trouble

I will walk towards you

sit beside you

chat you up abruptly

then say something like this:

"hey, guess what?" "I like you,so what?"


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## wesonion (Jan 10, 2011)

to be honest, i never really know what i have done to make a person hit on me. it seems to me like a girl either likes me or she doesnt. it never seems like i have done anything to get her attention, and more often than not when i actually come out of my shell and try to get a girls attention it doesnt work out right.


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## Drewbie (Apr 28, 2010)

How do I flirt? Hmm... I never really pay attention to what I'm saying when I flirt, but I guess most of the time it's really blatant. I can't do subtle, it takes up too much energy, so I give a lot of compliments, make innuendos, and generally take charge of our interaction. Hitting on me is tricky because I don't respond well to being approached. The best thing to do is, after I approach you, flirt back at the same level I'm flirting, make a conversation about it, and teach me something/show me something interesting. I love new experiences but I don't like having the spotlight put on myself so if you can give me a new experience by putting yourself on the line, without taking charge of our interaction, you pretty much have my complete attention for as long as we're interacting. I flirt for fun more than anything else though, it rarely ever gets passed talking. Actually, if I'm flirting with a person it's almost guaranteed I'm not interested in them, because people I'm actually attracted to make me feel self-conscious. I was so desperate to get the attention of my current girlfriend that I flirted outrageously with her, but she's like me so it took us 6 months of heavy flirting before we realized the attraction was actually mutual and serious. >.<


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## Mysteriousness (Feb 24, 2011)

its all in the body language


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## Spectrum (Jun 11, 2010)

skycloud86 said:


> Firstly, don't call women chicks. They aren't small, helpless baby chickens.
> 
> Secondly, what if you never saw her face, or had no idea which woman did it? Would her appearance really make it acceptable if she was good looking?


Why did you take what I said so seriously? Honestly, I enjoy it if an attractive woman grabs me, slut or not. Judge me however you like; my nature doesn't bend to your prejudiced morality.


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## Jason104 (Sep 18, 2010)

yeah like she's gonna start singing a pretty sexual song too attract you or something ..... it's so awkward


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

Digger Blue said:


> Now that everybody is done discussing nomenclature this thread is picking up.
> Cool!


You know, there's a member called Nomenclature.


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## Aerorobyn (Nov 11, 2009)

I find it hard to really flirt with a dude I actually see 'future potential' with, because I know how I get: flirting will typically only cause me to lose interest in the dude and focus on nothing beyond physical and sexual matters. So I pretty much leave me 'flirting' to be done to dudes I'm not too interested in to begin with. Although, I have been called a "flirt" several times in the past few months, but I don't see it every time other people do, so I really can't say what my flirting techniques are - I think they usually come across as seduction techniques to most dudes. :-/


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## Zilal (Feb 5, 2011)

I was just thinking about this woman I dated last year... she made a ton of eye contact and touched me so often in the first couple dates, I assumed she was interested. And I was interested in her, so I tried to do the same. Then at the end of the second date we got into a discussion about whether we were interested in each other. She had no idea I was interested in her. She also said she hadn't developed any interest in me until toward the end of the second date. Sooo... I think each of us had been projecting our own MO onto the other. Eventually I got the idea that she (ENTP) naturally touched people that much whether or not she was into them, and I suppose she assumed I (INTJ) did the same. But I don't. That's really reserved for people I want something more with. So I thought she was interested and she thought I wasn't, and we were both wrong.

But, barring friendly advances from EN_Ps, I think that eye contact, touch and teasing are probably the big 3 things that tell you someone is flirting with you. I tend to tease pretty heavily when I like someone. As for how I, uh, prefer to be flirted with... I'm very comfortable with touch, and love it when someone has the guts to tease me. I'm pretty shy about eye contact, and it's definitely possible to come on too strong with me, but attention is a good thing overall.


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