# My therapist says I said things that I definitely never said.



## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

This has happened twice so far. I don't remember what it was the first time, but she kept insisting that I'd said what she thought I said and seemed to think I was wrong to say that she must have misunderstood. I mean, what else could have happened? She thought I said something that I would never have said because it's obviously false, so I must have said something else that she misunderstood, but she insisted that she didn't misunderstand and I said the thing she claimed I'd said. The second time was yesterday. I was asking why she thinks I have CTPSD when I don't seem to have any reliving symptoms. (Yes, I know about emotional flashbacks, but I don't seem to have them.) She said I don't have reliving symptoms because it's completely blocked in me. Confused, I said, "So you're saying I'm dissociated?" (I'm definitely not dissociated.) And she said that I said I had no memory from before age seven. I'm like, wtf? I DEFINITELY never said that. I have lots of memories from before age seven, and I've told her about a few of them! I rattled off a bunch of memories from as far back as age three to prove I remember stuff from before age seven and explained what I said that she must have misunderstood (I said that I don't remember my mom doing anything abusive before I was SIX, but there's reason to believe there was already something bad going on and I've just forgotten because I assumed it was normal or something), but she seemed to still think I'd said I didn't have any memory before age seven. Look, I know sometimes I imagine that I have problems I don't actually have and I end up spouting nonsense, but when I do that, I will ADMIT that I said something that wasn't actually true. This is completely different. I never said what she says I said, and I don't appreciate her continuing to insist that I said it and she didn't misunderstand! Is this normal, or should I be looking for a new therapist?


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## Celtsincloset (Feb 17, 2014)

Look for a new therapist. I've experienced the same thing; I've heard that being a therapist or case manager can really burn the worker out, especially since treating mental health (from experience) can be very difficult to navigate, due to _many _reasons. Burnt out therapists usually have empathy fatigue, which means they'll keep making stupid mistakes like this due to a shield of ignorance, IMO. It's likely too hard for them to recover from this, in a way that is effective for you and worth your money, so I say get rid of them if it seems the case, OR, if they simply don't get you after all this time. I certainly should have done that sooner myself, looking back.


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

I've only been seeing her for three months, if that matters...


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## chad86tsi (Dec 27, 2016)

How many patients does she have? Is it possible she doesn't correctly remember every single detail of your life as presented so far? She may be mistaken, rather than this being projection or being incompetent.


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

The problem isn't so much that she was wrong, but that she continued to insist that I'd said something I never said even after I said I never said it.


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## chad86tsi (Dec 27, 2016)

melody5697 said:


> The problem isn't so much that she was wrong, but that she continued to insist that I'd said something I never said even after I said I never said it.


Have you asked why?

I have 3 kids, sometimes I think one said something to me that the other did. It's a simple mistake, but we are able to work this out with question/answer. I know my wife is less flexible than I am in these situations, it's nearly impossible for her to consider the idea that she remembers wrong. That's pretty harmful to dialog going forward, I'd not want to receive therapy from such a person.


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## ShushFox (3 mo ago)

Beware predatory psychiatry.


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## recycled_lube_oil (Sep 30, 2021)

Ask for your sessions to be recorded. Then when she makes a claim, ask her to play it back.

Or find a new therapist.


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## moldygargoyle (5 mo ago)

I would definitely look for a new therapist.

Communication is as much about comprehension as it is about talking at each other, if this person cannot comprehend you, you would be safer looking for someone who speaks your same language.

Unfortunately, much of communication is emotional, we could be speaking the exact same language, but the words that I use could have a different meaning to you personally. as much as it is possible, it is important to find people who care more about the truth than they do about their stupid feelings when they are talking to you. Even a Therapist can get into a relationship with their emotional projection about you. 

many therapist have had serious mental health issues themselves or interpersonally chaotic experiences, you need someone who has already worked through their own bullshit who can be more objective.

I couldn’t possibly begin to know what kind of crap your therapist has been through, but you shouldn’t be miscommunicating about things that are the significant, and being given a diagnoses over someone who doesn’t even understand you.


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## moldygargoyle (5 mo ago)

melody5697 said:


> The problem isn't so much that she was wrong, but that she continued to insist that I'd said something I never said even after I said I never said it.


that is terrifying to me


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

moldygargoyle said:


> I would definitely look for a new therapist.
> 
> Communication is as much about comprehension as it is about talking at each other, if this person cannot comprehend you, you would be safer looking for someone who speaks your same language.
> 
> ...


Sooo a bit of clarification on the diagnosis... She made a diagnosis of PTSD (CPTSD can't be used as an official diagnosis) for insurance purposes. She only told me because I asked. She doesn't see diagnosis as important except when it affects treatment, but I just really want to know the word for what's wrong with me...


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## moldygargoyle (5 mo ago)

melody5697 said:


> Sooo a bit of clarification on the diagnosis... She made a diagnosis of PTSD (CPTSD can't be used as an official diagnosis) for insurance purposes. She only told me because I asked. She doesn't see diagnosis as important except when it affects treatment, but I just really want to know the word for what's wrong with me...


if you have PTSD, I can give you an idea of what is wrong with you. Something bad happened to you and your poor mind is trying to find a way to deal with it. (Meaning nothing is wrong with you, the bad thing was wrong, if that makes sense.)

PTSD is a very normal reaction to an abnormal experience. There is nothing wrong with you except that you are living with a condition that causes you anxiety or depression or triggers. Assuming you actually have PTSD of course. I cannot begin to know.

Also, if you went through something bad, and you’re still alive to this day, you should be proud of yourself. Because you’re very strong.


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

moldygargoyle said:


> if you have PTSD, I can give you an idea of what is wrong with you. Something bad happened to you and your poor mind is trying to find a way to deal with it.
> 
> PTSD is a very normal reaction to an abnormal experience. There is nothing wrong with you except that you are living with a condition that causes you anxiety or depression or triggers. Assuming you actually have PTSD of course. I cannot begin to know.


That's just what my therapist said, but I don't think I have reliving symptoms (though I suppose it's possible that I have emotional flashbacks and I just don't recognize them for what they are). The DSM-V says that at least one reliving symptom is required for diagnosis. The whole reason this is coming up is because her reasoning for why I don't experience reliving symptoms was that I supposedly blocked out years of my life. But that didn't happen. I have lots of memories of my childhood. I don't directly remember being hit with belts (I remember that it happened, but I don't actually remember any of the times it happened), but that might just be normal forgetting. I want an accurate diagnosis so I can understand what's wrong with me, but I'm not sure I've received one.


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## moldygargoyle (5 mo ago)

May I offer a perspective?
If the treatment works… Does it matter to you if the diagnosis is correct? 

And what is your understanding of a reliving experience?

Have you ever been triggered?

If something in the present takes you back to either an emotional, mental, or physical state from the past that was inescapable, and you felt like your life was in danger… That is a form of a relieving experience. Would you say you’ve experienced anything like that?


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## moldygargoyle (5 mo ago)

I suppose, one way of you figuring out what’s wrong in a sense that will make sense to you, is to list out all of the symptoms or experiences that you are having, which are taking away from your optimal functioning in your day-to-day life, then figuring out a plan to attack all of those issues.


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## chad86tsi (Dec 27, 2016)

melody5697 said:


> I don't directly remember being hit with belts (I remember that it happened, but I don't actually remember any of the times it happened), but that might just be normal forgetting.


In my _unprofessiona_l opinion, you _have_ blocked it out. Intellectual memory (after the fact) is not the same as remembering the sights, sounds, and tactile sensation of the events that unfolded. If you don't remember that stuff, it's probably been blocked out. When you block stuff out, you don't remember what you don't remember, so you don't realize you don't remember it. 

I went through some stuff with my wife when our oldest child was in crisis. She developed PTSD from that 3 year long phase, I did not. I remember more from it than her. She intellectually remembers that stuff happened, but not many of the details, or even all the facts. There is blocked out stuff for her. It blocked out other unrelated stuff for her too too. A person in crisis doesn't do well with storing accurate long term memories.

I don't think a person experiences "normal forgetfulness" on stuff that was traumatizing as if that's the usual course of storing such memories. My wife was also emotionally abused for much of her childhood, that may be why she developed PTSD and I did not for stuff we were both equally exposed to. PTSD is a present result of past trauma, not a past-tense fault.


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

moldygargoyle said:


> May I offer a perspective?
> If the treatment works… Does it matter to you if the diagnosis is correct?
> 
> And what is your understanding of a reliving experience?
> ...


It matters to me because I just want a word for what's wrong with me. I don't feel like therapy has really accomplished anything yet, though. And if my therapist sucks, then I guess it probably won't until I find a new therapist.

Examples of reliving experiences include flashbacks, intrusive thoughts about the traumatic event, nightmares, emotional distress after being exposed to traumatic reminders, and physical reactivity after exposure to traumatic reminders. In CPTSD (which, if I do have PTSD, is the type that I have because that's what you get from years of child abuse), it's often emotional flashbacks, which involve feeling the emotions felt during the trauma without necessarily actually remembering the trauma. I'm uncertain if I have these or not. I've never been overly bothered by reading about child abuse. I smile and laugh when recounting traumatic events, and when my therapist asks how I feel after I just talked about some traumatic event, I honestly can't even tell. So then she asks me what I notice in my body, but there's just nothing. So clearly I'm not distressed by direct reminders. There are times when I have over-the-top emotional reactions to things, but it doesn't seem to actually last long enough to be an emotional flashback. From what I've read, they last hours, or days, or even weeks. But my over-the-top emotional reactions usually last minutes. They also aren't that frequent. I talked about the issues I have in this Reddit post.


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

The problem, OP, is that if you have a propensity to change your story a lot, as you've admitted, then other people will also get some of the details mixed up (and you might too), or have a hard time following along. Incidentally this is a defense mechanism, and not a manipulation as you see it. You have real problems connecting with people on a real level, because you'd rather keep them in your protective web of mystery, as that allows you to drawdown from them what you need to meet your needs, rather than open yourself up and face the truth about things you could personally improve. It's another form of control, just like cutting, or eating disorders. 

I think a PTSD diagnosis makes sense. You might not, because you feel you've exaggerated the problem so people could meet your needs in other ways. Then you feel guilty for having manipulated people to do so. 

Right, so let's change the setting on the microscope and zoom out a bit. Aside from all the individual situations, you're displaying symptoms of PTSD (idk the difference between regular and C, and am too lazy to look it up right now). This reaction to both keep people at a distance through lying, or what you're judging as emotional manipulation, _is_ a response to remain feeling in control. Usually caused by some sort of trauma. 

May be worth hearing your therapist out.


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

Ms. Aligned said:


> The problem, OP, is that if you have a propensity to change your story a lot, as you've admitted, then other people will also get some of the details mixed up (and you might too), or have a hard time following along. Incidentally this is a defense mechanism, and not a manipulation as you see it. You have real problems connecting with people on a real level, because you'd rather keep them in your protective web of mystery, as that allows you to drawdown from them what you need to meet your needs, rather than open yourself up and face the truth about things you could personally improve. It's another form of control, just like cutting, or eating disorders.
> 
> I think a PTSD diagnosis makes sense. You might not, because you feel you've exaggerated the problem so people could meet your needs in other ways. Then you feel guilty for having manipulated people to do so.
> 
> ...


Now YOU'RE telling me that I probably actually said that I couldn't remember anything from before age seven?! There's NO WAY I said that! I have NEVER believed that I couldn't remember anything before age seven! What I do is reinterpret past events and genuinely believe the new interpretation, NOT completely make stuff up! There's a HUGE difference, in my opinion! I'm sure what ACTUALLY happened was that I said that I don't recall my mom doing anything abusive before I was six! That doesn't mean that I forgot years of my childhood! I've always remembered lots of stuff from when I was little and been surprised at how little other people remember from that age compared to me! I can convince myself of BS, but I can't convince myself that I blocked out years of my life!


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

Also... Protective web of mystery???


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## moldygargoyle (5 mo ago)

What is your age range?


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

moldygargoyle said:


> What is your age range?


I'm 25.


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## moldygargoyle (5 mo ago)

Ok, very very young. Your mind can repress so much at that age.

At least the heavy emotions that come with CPTSD.

you have mentioned that you care very much about the actual diagnosis, so I don’t wanna frustrate and annoy you. I’m going to have to bow out of this conversation now, because I’m going to come across as dogmatic and ultimately, I just want you to be happy.

I honestly do not think that it matters what the label is if you actually get strategies that help, you get relief in your personal life, and make life more enjoyable and functional for you.

I feel that you want something else and unfortunately I don’t think I can help you with that but I sincerely wish you the best.

I know many people who have lived with and are actively recovering from complex post traumatic stress disorder. It is in fact, something that can be recovered from, if you actually have it. You’re so young and your brain still has enviable flexibility and with determination my god, you can do so much.


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

Ms. Aligned said:


> (idk the difference between regular and C, and am too lazy to look it up right now)


PTSD is from a single traumatic event (though someone can obviously get PTSD from multiple traumatic events). Complex PTSD is from long-lasting trauma that continues or repeats for months or even years and is usually the result of childhood trauma, and it's usually more severe. In addition to the core PTSD symptoms (re-experiencing, avoidance, and hyperarousal), it also may include difficulty controlling emotions, negative self-view, difficulty with relationships, detachment from the trauma, and loss of a system of meanings.


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## secondpassing (Jan 13, 2018)

Do you like your therapist?


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

melody5697 said:


> Now YOU'RE telling me that I probably actually said that I couldn't remember anything from before age seven?! There's NO WAY I said that! I have NEVER believed that I couldn't remember anything before age seven! What I do is reinterpret past events and genuinely believe the new interpretation, NOT completely make stuff up! There's a HUGE difference, in my opinion! I'm sure what ACTUALLY happened was that I said that I don't recall my mom doing anything abusive before I was six! That doesn't mean that I forgot years of my childhood! I've always remembered lots of stuff from when I was little and been surprised at how little other people remember from that age compared to me! I can convince myself of BS, but I can't convince myself that I blocked out years of my life!


I made no claims as to what you said or didn't. Only that when you come from this place, it can be hard for others (sometimes including yourself) to keep track of the details. This is a moment of expressing compassion or empathy for someone else trying to keep up. 

From what I've experienced in working with people who come from a similar place, is they're always on the defense. Even when it seems like they're on the offense. It's not tackling the world, it's creating further mental distance (like making up some things). With moments of shame when you actually reach out for kindness. When you do get it from someone, it's a self fulfilling prophecy, that they've only seen what you've allowed them to. And you've not actually gained any support at all. 

You don't think you deserve it, or could acquire it any other way. All signs of coming from a less than supportive environment. 



melody5697 said:


> Also... Protective web of mystery???


Yup. 


* *















You've retreated within yourself and created such a web, that you can direct anyone to any part seamlessly, as long as it's not painful for you, and you get to remain in control of your own experience. 

Not a bad trait to start off with. Shows a lot of resiliency, as a matter of fact. But if you actually want help, understanding, or anything else, you're going to have to peek your head out once in a while. And open yourself up to legit feedback. 


* *


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

melody5697 said:


> PTSD is from a single traumatic event (though someone can obviously get PTSD from multiple traumatic events). Complex PTSD is from long-lasting trauma that continues or repeats for months or even years and is usually the result of childhood trauma, and it's usually more severe. In addition to the core PTSD symptoms (re-experiencing, avoidance, and hyperarousal), it also may include difficulty controlling emotions, negative self-view, difficulty with relationships, detachment from the trauma, and loss of a system of meanings.


Oh so how I used to tell people, there is a difference between an emotion and a mood. An emotion is a reaction. If you were to time it, it comes and goes quickly, and is a direct response to external stimuli. 

A mood occurs when you experience the same emotion over and over again within a period of time, so much that it becomes your normal mode of being. Someone like this may see, a garden hose, and jump back as though it were a snake or something, even though they know it's just a hose. It's a learned behavior, and can be fixed, by rewiring the brain to see other possibilities. Over an equal period of time.


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## moldygargoyle (5 mo ago)

Ms. Aligned said:


> Oh so how I used to tell people, there is a difference between an emotion and a mood. An emotion is a reaction. If you were to time it, it comes and goes quickly, and is a direct response to external stimuli.
> 
> A mood occurs when you experience the same emotion over and over again within a period of time, so much that it becomes your normal mode of being. Someone like this may see, a garden hose, and jump back as though it were a snake or something, even though they know it's just a hose. It's a learned behavior, and can be fixed, by rewiring the brain to see other possibilities. Over an equal period of time.


Not quite, but I see your reasoning.

PTSD is a disorder that rewires the entire brain so that the amygdala becomes larger, while the hippocampus shrinks. This is a result of a traumatic event that goes from short-term memory, directly into long-term memory, where it stays, and is triggered by external events, which remind the person who is struggling with PTSD of the original trauma. A lot of people with PTSD struggle with generalized anxiety and other issues as well. It can be acute, lasting a month, or about a year in certain cases. absolutely requires treatment, and it will not resolve on its own. Usually this is somebody who had manageable, C PTSD from childhood exposure to adverse conditions, where they didn’t realize anything was really wrong with them.

there are therapeutic modalities that can help with PTSD, and they do so, by helping the person who are struggling, will process the memory, taking it out of long-term memory, and getting it to working memory, where it becomes just like any ordinary regular memory.

CPTSD is the result of long-term inescapable trauma, such as war, imprisonment, natural disaster, scary diagnosis, accident, or multiple bad experiences that happened in a short amount of time where the person who got CPTSD, could not escape.

It is complex, so it wires itself into your nervous system as well as changes The structure of your brain, it makes it hard to have relationships with other people, it causes you to use cognitive distortions an all or nothing black and white thinking, so does PTSD. Many people with CPTSD struggle with relationships due to trust issues and fear of greater harm.

CPTSD is more pervasive and complex.

Many people have it, and they don’t even know it. They just think it’s their natural personality.


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

moldygargoyle said:


> Not quite, but I see your reasoning.
> 
> PTSD is a disorder that rewires the entire brain so that the amygdala becomes larger, while the hippocampus shrinks. This is a result of a traumatic event that goes from short-term memory, directly into long-term memory, where it stays, and is triggered by external events, which remind the person who is struggling with PTSD of the original trauma. A lot of people with PTSD struggle with generalized anxiety and other issues as well. It can be acute, lasting a month, or about a year in certain cases. absolutely requires treatment, and it will not result on the phone. Usually this is somebody who had manageable, C PTSD from childhood exposure to adverse conditions, where they didn’t realize anything like really wrong with them.
> 
> ...


Well you stated it more clinically than I did. Thanks for the clarification between C and regular.


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

secondpassing said:


> Do you like your therapist?


Idk. She seems nice, but it's frustrating that she insists that she didn't misunderstand when she thinks that I said something that I'm sure I didn't say. 


Ms. Aligned said:


> I made no claims as to what you said or didn't. Only that when you come from this place, it can be hard for others (sometimes including yourself) to keep track of the details. This is a moment of expressing compassion or empathy for someone else trying to keep up.
> 
> From what I've experienced in working with people who come from a similar place, is they're always on the defense. Even when it seems like they're on the offense. It's not tackling the world, it's creating further mental distance (like making up some things). With moments of shame when you actually reach out for kindness. When you do get it from someone, it's a self fulfilling prophecy, that they've only seen what you've allowed them to. And you've not actually gained any support at all.
> 
> ...


I don't intentionally make things up. I just sometimes read or hear about some problem and it influences the way I'm thinking about my problems even if I still don't believe I truly have the problem I just read or heard about and then I get confused and imagine that I have problems that I don't have. Or at least I THINK that's what's happening. I'm not sure. I guess it might have been a little different with the faking autism thing... But I always genuinely believe it when I tell people that I have some problem. And I still don't understand the web of mystery thing.


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

melody5697 said:


> Idk. She seems nice, but it's frustrating that she insists that she didn't misunderstand when she thinks that I said something that I'm sure I didn't say.
> 
> I don't intentionally make things up. I just sometimes read or hear about some problem and it influences the way I'm thinking about my problems even if I still don't believe I truly have the problem I just read or heard about and then I get confused and imagine that I have problems that I don't have. Or at least I THINK that's what's happening. I'm not sure. I guess it might have been a little different with the faking autism thing... But I always genuinely believe it when I tell people that I have some problem. And I still don't understand the web of mystery thing.


I thought I had autism before. Turns out I was just in a super weird place where I felt controlled and had mechanical reactions to all of it (just going through the motions of life without ever feeling anything). I started seeing myself as such, because that's how I was interacting with the world. This is why the mind can be so tricky sometimes. I got out of the situation, and it was like a new person emerged. 

That's kind of the whole point of therapy, no?

To explore all those thoughts, feelings, and conceptions, and see what's true or not? 

If I had to give you advice, I'd say tell your therapist exactly what you said here and how it made you feel. See where that conversation goes.


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

Ms. Aligned said:


> I thought I had autism before. Turns out I was just in a super weird place where I felt controlled and had mechanical reactions to all of it (just going through the motions of life without ever feeling anything). I started seeing myself as such, because that's how I was interacting with the world. This is why the mind can be so tricky sometimes. I got out of the situation, and it was like a new person emerged.
> 
> That's kind of the whole point of therapy, no?
> 
> ...


I've attempted to talk about things that people have told me I really need to talk to her about before. It never works out. I don't get a chance to bring up anything I actually wanted to talk about until there are only 15-20 minutes left in the session because she always asks me about something and then wants to talk about that and I don't even know what to say to tell her that I had other things I needed to talk to her about until we get to the point where she's asking me a question that I need to really think to answer and I just can't because I keep glancing at the clock that says there are less than 20 minutes left in the session and thinking about the things I actually want to talk about but never have enough time to.


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## moldygargoyle (5 mo ago)

Ms. Aligned said:


> Well you stated it more clinically than I did. Thanks for the clarification between C and regular.


I think there is a difference… If you were talking about a normal healthy person with a phobia like that… That’s one thing.

if someone with an actual stress disorder is something completely different. And those differentiations make a difference. You can’t just use the power of positivity or trying real hard to be present. That is something that only works for people who have a baseline functioning brain that is not traumatized.


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

Also, I thought I was autistic because I genuinely had a delay in my social skills development and I feel like I'm horrible with people and I do fidget more than the average person, and my grandparents and multiple mental health professionals who I only saw once or twice told me that they thought I might be autistic. I didn't want to believe it at first, but then I nearly lost a job because I couldn't keep my mouth shut about my concerns that some of the things we were doing might be illegal on my first day (they weren't illegal), so I decided to just go with it and use it as an excuse and then I started faking and exaggerating symptoms.


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

melody5697 said:


> I've attempted to talk about things that people have told me I really need to talk to her about before. It never works out. I don't get a chance to bring up anything I actually wanted to talk about until there are only 15-20 minutes left in the session because she always asks me about something and then wants to talk about that and I don't even know what to say to tell her that I had other things I needed to talk to her about until we get to the point where she's asking me a question that I need to really think to answer and I just can't because I keep glancing at the clock that says there are less than 20 minutes left in the session and thinking about the things I actually want to talk about but never have enough time to.


"Before we get into that, there is something else I wanted to talk about....." This is actually the first step in expressing yourself. And, it's okay.

Write them down and go in prepared to discuss those topics if necessary.


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## secondpassing (Jan 13, 2018)

melody5697 said:


> Idk. She seems nice, but it's frustrating that she insists that she didn't misunderstand when she thinks that I said something that I'm sure I didn't say.


Sometimes, things like these are quite complex because they have a lot of variables. Should you look for a new therapist? ... How do you know the next therapist won't be worse? What if this therapist and I really won't get along? Did I give this one enough of a chance? Though it doesn't seem to be getting anywhere, will my therapy be effective later on? Does she really need to get everything I say entirely correct or can I just put that aside and still have a progressive discussion?

Though our "mind" can't always give us an answer, maybe your heart will. It still might not give you a clear answer, but it can help you weigh how you feel about her. If you feel you can continue therapy with her, I would go with that. If you feel you can't and that another option would be better, I would go with that.


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

melody5697 said:


> This has happened twice so far. I don't remember what it was the first time, but she kept insisting that I'd said what she thought I said and seemed to think I was wrong to say that she must have misunderstood. I mean, what else could have happened? She thought I said something that I would never have said because it's obviously false, so I must have said something else that she misunderstood, but she insisted that she didn't misunderstand and I said the thing she claimed I'd said. The second time was yesterday. I was asking why she thinks I have CTPSD when I don't seem to have any reliving symptoms. (Yes, I know about emotional flashbacks, but I don't seem to have them.) She said I don't have reliving symptoms because it's completely blocked in me. Confused, I said, "So you're saying I'm dissociated?" (I'm definitely not dissociated.) And she said that I said I had no memory from before age seven. I'm like, wtf? I DEFINITELY never said that. I have lots of memories from before age seven, and I've told her about a few of them! I rattled off a bunch of memories from as far back as age three to prove I remember stuff from before age seven and explained what I said that she must have misunderstood (I said that I don't remember my mom doing anything abusive before I was SIX, but there's reason to believe there was already something bad going on and I've just forgotten because I assumed it was normal or something), but she seemed to still think I'd said I didn't have any memory before age seven. Look, I know sometimes I imagine that I have problems I don't actually have and I end up spouting nonsense, but when I do that, I will ADMIT that I said something that wasn't actually true. This is completely different. I never said what she says I said, and I don't appreciate her continuing to insist that I said it and she didn't misunderstand! Is this normal, or should I be looking for a new therapist?


Therapists often take notes as you're speaking, does she take notes?


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

ENTJudgement said:


> Therapists often take notes as you're speaking, does she take notes?


Yes, but she doesn't write everything word for word, and apparently she sometimes seriously misinterprets things.


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

melody5697 said:


> Yes, but she doesn't write everything word for word, and apparently she sometimes seriously misinterprets things.


If a therapist is able to misinterpret what you said while taking notes then shes a shit therapist coz therapists are supposed to listen, ask you questions like how you feel about it etc... then get u to answer your own questions hence there should never be any misunderstanding coz 99% of her job is listening to you.


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## Bella2016 (Mar 5, 2013)

I have PTSD and work well with my male therapist. He made a mistake once (mixed up client's stories) and I corrected him and that was that. Next time he made a mistake I didn't even bother to correct him. All of my teachers or people with that sort of role I choose to be males as all I do is fight with females who are trying to tell me what's right and wrong and correct me and whatever else. I have had some semi-successful experiences of working with women, but it's rare that it's equal in productivity. Also, it might not be a male/ female thing, it could be a thinker/ feeler thing, especially in cases involving me having to treat the person as the one who knows more than me. (Friendships don't have this same problem necessarily).
Hope this helps.


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