# Social consequences of teetotaling



## CountZero (Sep 28, 2012)

Teetotaling, for those who don't know, is the practice of abstinence from alcohol. I've always hated the taste of alcohol, and I also dislike the feeling of vulnerability and disorientation that comes with being drunk, or even just buzzed. So about 20 years ago, I stopped drinking altogether and haven't had another drop. 

This has caused some interesting knock on effects socially. Once a woman almost stopped dating me because I wouldn't drink. It seemed like she felt that people who didn't drink considered themselves to be morally superior, and looked down on the common drinking rabble, if you will. I suspect she may have had an unfortunate encounter with the "straight edge" community, some members of which can be downright militant. 

Much more recently, I was out having a snack with friends at a cafe when both of them put a little pressure on me to try a Manhattan. I graciously declined (at least I hope it was gracious) and they seemed a bit surprised, but the night continued on without any hard feelings.

So to get on to the point, I was wondering how the drinking public views people who don't touch alcohol. Sticks in the mud? Health nuts? Morally pretentious blowhards? Inquiring minds want to know...


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

CountZero said:


> Teetotaling, for those who don't know, is the practice of abstinence from alcohol. I've always hated the taste of alcohol, and I also dislike the feeling of vulnerability and disorientation that comes with being drunk, or even just buzzed. So about 20 years ago, I stopped drinking altogether and haven't had another drop.
> 
> This has caused some interesting knock on effects socially. Once a woman almost stopped dating me because I wouldn't drink. It seemed like she felt that people who didn't drink considered themselves to be morally superior, and looked down on the common drinking rabble, if you will. I suspect she may have had an unfortunate encounter with the "straight edge" community, some members of which can be downright militant.
> 
> ...


As someone who doesn't drink, this hits home. Although 90% of the time it's fine and people respect that I don't drink, a very few instances were quite over the top. I've been harassed, had drink almost forced down my throat, uninvited to events/parties, written off by many women (some of them think you're going to be boring and a buzzkill) etc... Simply for not drinking.

I can't really go to bars or clubs, can't socialize in some work related functions where people are expected to drink or entertain clients etc... What I notice is that noone really appreciates or positively acknowledges you for not drinking besides maybe your mother but some people will have a negative reaction when you don't drink, especially on an occasion.

I would say teetotaling is definitely bad for your social life but everytime the popo pulls me over at a drink n drive bust, I'm always laughing in my head.

If you're wondering how I almost got drink shoved down my throat, in Asian culture, it can be seen as "rude" when you refuse to drink. They basically tried to peer pressure me into drinking by calling me a pussy and how "real men can handle a drink" and "real men all drink" to which I replied to them, if I drink now then I'm a even bigger pussy since I didn't stick to what I wanted and I succumbed to you in a sarcastic manner. Then he took my glass, took my head and tried to force it down my throat but since he was abit drunk, I just weaved my head and he spilled the whole thing on the floor.


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## Flabarac Brupip (May 9, 2020)

I think pretty much nothing different about you knowing that now. Does this shit matter to some people? Lol.

However, the subset of non-drinkers that attend AA meetings can get on my nerves sometimes, but not all of them.


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## Sarah J. (4 mo ago)

It's kind of embarassing, but after a few honest answers that I don't like alcohol swiftly followed by condemning stares and non-ending insistence that I should just "try a little", I just began telling people I'm allergic to alcohol. I get a few "you poor thing" every now and then, but it's worth avoiding the childish drama.


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## 98403942 (Feb 10, 2021)

CAREFUL! RADICAL, EXTREMIST CONTENT!







I'd suggest ceasing the self-persecution by dropping that goofy, nonsensical code word as the most immediate measure.

Then, doing the same with people who are kind enough to grant you that fine, limited acceptance.


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

As long as they're not judging me, I have no problems with it. It's the people who are like, "I don't drink because _insert negative consequences_, but you feel free if that's what_* you're *_into," that get on my nerves. It's condescending.

"Should we order drinks?"
"I don't drink, but feel free."
"Oh, any particular reason?"
"Never really liked the way it made me feel."
"You mind if I do?"
"Nope, go right ahead."
"Sweet." _Orders drink any thinks nothing of it again_


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## recycled_lube_oil (Sep 30, 2021)

CountZero said:


> Teetotaling, for those who don't know, is the practice of abstinence from alcohol. I've always hated the taste of alcohol, and I also dislike the feeling of vulnerability and disorientation that comes with being drunk, or even just buzzed. So about 20 years ago, I stopped drinking altogether and haven't had another drop.
> 
> This has caused some interesting knock on effects socially. Once a woman almost stopped dating me because I wouldn't drink. It seemed like she felt that people who didn't drink considered themselves to be morally superior, and looked down on the common drinking rabble, if you will. I suspect she may have had an unfortunate encounter with the "straight edge" community, some members of which can be downright militant.
> 
> ...


Similar to what @Ms. Aligned said really. It doesn't bother me, unless me having a drink turns into a lecture on the evils of alcohol.

Also I am a social drinker, I am not one to drink at home. However, I do enjoy a drink when I go out, I also enjoy nights out involving several bars. Some people I know, take this quite personally as they are teetotal. I have no idea if you are that type of person, but if a friend decides to go teetotal, I am not going to change my social habits just to suit them.

Other than that, fair play for doing something I cannot/will not. I also respect the choices of these people so do not try to tempt them with offers of drinks. Unless they get all preachy at me, then its fair play. Tit for tat.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

CountZero said:


> Teetotaling, for those who don't know, is the practice of abstinence from alcohol. I've always hated the taste of alcohol, and I also dislike the feeling of vulnerability and disorientation that comes with being drunk, or even just buzzed. So about 20 years ago, I stopped drinking altogether and haven't had another drop.
> 
> This has caused some interesting knock on effects socially. Once a woman almost stopped dating me because I wouldn't drink. It seemed like she felt that people who didn't drink considered themselves to be morally superior, and looked down on the common drinking rabble, if you will. I suspect she may have had an unfortunate encounter with the "straight edge" community, some members of which can be downright militant.
> 
> ...


You unequivocally have every right to choose what you put into your body. I would not judge you because that's not my place to do so. I do not place value upon people based upon such things. My interest is more with your thoughts, your knowledge, and your overall contribution to the conversation. I generally hang out with people who interest me intellectually and are fun to be around. Alcohol can be a fun "social lubricant" but it is not absolutely necessary. I do most of my drinking at home, or in instances where I can walk home, which brings up another good point. Your friends are missing out on an important advantage with you. Not only would I defend your right not to drink, and being who I am, I would do my best to turn it into a: "Win-Win" for both of us. I'd take up a collection every time we all went out so as to make sure our "designated driver" gets some petrol money. I'm turning your proclivities into an advantage, because you choose not to imbibe, you can see to it that the people you care about, who do make that choice, will get home safely.


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

tanstaafl28 said:


> You unequivocally have every right to choose what you put into your body. I would not judge you because that's not my place to do so. I do not place value upon people based upon such things. My interest is more with your thoughts, your knowledge, and your overall contribution to the conversation. I generally hang out with people who interest me intellectually and are fun to be around. Alcohol can be a fun "social lubricant" but it is not absolutely necessary. I do most of my drinking at home, or in instances where I can walk home, which brings up another good point. Your friends are missing out on an important advantage with you. Not only would I defend your right not to drink, and being who I am, I would do my best to turn it into a: "Win-Win" for both of us. I'd take up a collection every time we all went out so as to make sure our "designated driver" gets some petrol money. I'm turning your proclivities into an advantage, because you choose not to imbibe, you can see to it that the people you care about, who do make that choice, will get home safely.


Lol, I had that idea too, instant thought, "Designated driver!" But then figured that would be one of the social consequences instead.


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## CountZero (Sep 28, 2012)

tanstaafl28 said:


> You unequivocally have every right to choose what you put into your body. I would not judge you because that's not my place to do so. I do not place value upon people based upon such things. My interest is more with your thoughts, your knowledge, and your overall contribution to the conversation. I generally hang out with people who interest me intellectually and are fun to be around. Alcohol can be a fun "social lubricant" but it is not absolutely necessary. I do most of my drinking at home, or in instances where I can walk home, which brings up another good point. Your friends are missing out on an important advantage with you. Not only would I defend your right not to drink, and being who I am, I would do my best to turn it into a: "Win-Win" for both of us. I'd take up a collection every time we all went out so as to make sure our "designated driver" gets some petrol money. I'm turning your proclivities into an advantage, because you choose not to imbibe, you can see to it that the people you care about, who do make that choice, will get home safely.


Just to be clear, both of these fellows drank responsibly (i.e., one drink apiece.) So it's doubtful a designated driver was even necessary. And, yes, on those somewhat rare occasions (introvert here, remember) I do go out, that's a responsibility I'll gladly shoulder.


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## recycled_lube_oil (Sep 30, 2021)

CountZero said:


> Just to be clear, both of these fellows drank responsibly (i.e., one drink apiece.) So it's doubtful a designated driver was even necessary. And, yes, on those somewhat rare occasions (introvert here, remember) I do go out, that's a responsibility I'll gladly shoulder.


You Americans as a whole seem quite responsible when it comes to drinking. Across the pond, we have our own approach to alcohol, which is... kind of different.


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

If it's the first time I'm finding out that a friend doesn't drink, I'll usually be surprised and ask why. The first thing I will think is that they have had something bad happen in their past as a result of their own alcohol consumption or someone else's. The next thing I will think is they have a religious reason for it. I will press them for answers only one time, because if they get uncomfortable, you have to assume they have a serious reason that they don't want to share with you. Also I'm at the age where a female friend could be pregnant.

The best case is for someone to just explain what they are thinking if it's not too traumatic. It's very annoying otherwise. For example, I invited a new friend out for a drink after we went to see a performance together. He told me it was late and he should be heading back home and getting ready for work. Later I found out that he was a part of a super religious upbringing with rules about the kinds of things he could eat or drink. The sort of weird half-truth or omission thing was very annoying. Because had I known this earlier, I would have never brought it up again. 

Personally, in a big group, if only one person is not drinking, I will continue on with my drinking as scheduled. In a one-on-one situation, I'll not be happy to drink alone. If I had my taste buds set, I will order just one cocktail, but won't be in the mood to have a second one alone.


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

tanstaafl28 said:


> Your friends are missing out on an important advantage with you. Not only would I defend your right not to drink, and being who I am, I would do my best to turn it into a: "Win-Win" for both of us. I'd take up a collection every time we all went out so as to make sure our "designated driver" gets some petrol money. I'm turning your proclivities into an advantage, because you choose not to imbibe, you can see to it that the people you care about, who do make that choice, will get home safely.


This sounds like a Win-Lose to me. Or a double bind. Not only do you not get to partake in the magical elixir, but now you've got extra chores to do on a night where you were meant to be relaxing. Pass! These people can keep their little money and fund a rideshare and bolster the local economy for all I care.


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## CountZero (Sep 28, 2012)

@OrchidSugar Why would you feel inhibited from ordering a second drink? Do you feel as if the non-drinker is smugly judging you? Does it make you feel self-conscious, like the odd man out?


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## CountZero (Sep 28, 2012)

recycled_lube_oil said:


> You Americans as a whole seem quite responsible when it comes to drinking. Across the pond, we have our own approach to alcohol, which is... kind of different.


Indeed there have been several temperance movements in the USA, including wholesale nationwide Prohibition of alcohol. But that backfired badly and really just ended up feeding the growth of organized crime (see Al Capone.) 

More recently there was a movement against drunk driving, and the criminalization of driving under the influence. I think much of it comes from a Puritan mindset inherited from our ancestors, but drunk driving was also killing large numbers of people every year.


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

CountZero said:


> @OrchidSugar Why would you feel inhibited from ordering a second drink? Do you feel as if the non-drinker is smugly judging you? Does it make you feel self-conscious, like the odd man out?


Not necessarily. It depends on the person whether or not they will judge you. I also don't feel like the odd woman out because like I said this would be a one-on-one situation. So it's really up to me. But usually I drink socially. It's more fun when others' inhibitions are lowering at the same time. We joke more easily, laugh more easily, and get closer. 

But if one person is sober while the other one keeps drinking and getting looser, basically there's somewhat of a power differential, if you can call it that. The other person has a better handle on how they present themselves. So it's just a little uncomfortable. Nothing too serious, but in the same way I feel uncomfortable around type 9's who push down their own emotions and just observe the emotional displays of others. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this right, but I'd rather just meet them where they are and connect with each other from the same point of understanding. And "reveal" the same amount.


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## CountZero (Sep 28, 2012)

@OrchidSugar Perhaps this will sound odd, but I find that when the inhibitions of others are lowered, mine have a tendency to loosen up some as well. Maybe not to the same extent, but it's still noticeable. It's easier to laugh, joke and be silly when others around you are already there.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Your experience to people with alcohol is something I relate to with my experiences with people smoking weed.

Most everyone I know is a stoner. Some people act like really weird around me when they find out I do not smoke. 

I just do not like being stoned. It makes me paranoid, sleepy, and hungry. I am actually the odd woman out in my family as well as friends. I cannot say I never smoke like ever ever, like how you never take a drink. Every now and then I will take a toke, or eat an edible. But I really have to be in the right mood, around the right person to want to.

The funny thing is people who know me more superficially and then find out I do not smoke, will assume I am like 'sheltered' or something. Which is soooo far from the truth, lol. As I said I am the odd woman out in my family. Almost everyone smokes except me.

Anyways I know it is not the same as alcohol but it is a something that people often use socially while connecting.

As for alcohol like many others said: I do not instantly care if someone just does not enjoy drinking. It is the recovering addicts that are on the wagon lecturing everyone or labeling what kinda 'alcoholic' they think they are who are nauseating. When the ones in recovery preach they are super super super duper annoying. They just tend to be more extreme than say for example someone like yourself who just prefers not to drink. The ones in recovery usually make things all or nothing because that is what AA generally preaches.

The last thing I want is someone who binged drank everyday to the point of irresponsibility lecturing me for getting lit on a Saturday at the beach for example. Eh that stands out cuz my ex bro in law sorta acted like that when he was on the wagon. He tended to be someone that goes on/off the wagon regularly in very extreme behavior. When he is 'clean' he sits and preaches to everyone.

Anyways I find people in recovery (not all, just some) to be more so annoying, than people who just do not care to drink.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

OrchidSugar said:


> This sounds like a Win-Lose to me. Or a double bind. Not only do you not get to partake in the magical elixir, but now you've got extra chores to do on a night where you were meant to be relaxing. Pass! These people can keep their little money and fund a rideshare and bolster the local economy for all I care.


It isn't if they are friends you care about, you get to relax and socialize all night with your friends. You're getting paid to make sure they get home safely at the end of the night. It's personal instead of impersonal.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

recycled_lube_oil said:


> You Americans as a whole seem quite responsible when it comes to drinking. Across the pond, we have our own approach to alcohol, which is... kind of different.


It varies greatly depending on the maturity of the group. I've drank with sailors from the UK, Australia, Italy, and France. They all drank hard and they all made sure everyone got home at the end of the night.


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## islandlight (Aug 13, 2013)

I tried alcohol a few times in my teens, and quickly learned that I didn't like the way it made me feel.

Nonetheless, I often went to bars, the beach, and other places where people were drinking heavily. For most people, it was not a problem.

A few people (mostly older than me) said it was rude to refuse a drink, or they didn't trust anyone who wouldn't drink with them. Oh well, too bad.

When I'm occasionally asked why I don't drink, or urged to have "just one," I say I don't like how alcohol makes me feel -- not even just one. Sometimes they'll say that's so weird, they love the feeling, but then we move on to other topics.

When I lived in an Asian country with compulsory social drinking, I was okay, because I was both female and a foreigner. I had a local male friend who got away with it because he was an athlete. In fact, he was very popular, in spite of not drinking.


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## CountZero (Sep 28, 2012)

0.M.I.A.0 said:


> When he is 'clean' he sits and preaches to everyone.


This might actually be a poorly executed attempt to stay on the wagon. He's trying to hmm, bolster his willpower I guess, to resist temptation. I could be totally off base on that one...


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## CountZero (Sep 28, 2012)

islandlight said:


> Asian country with compulsory social drinking


@ENTJudgement also mentioned this tendency in an unnamed Asian country. Is this a general Asian social norm, or just a certain country(-ies)?


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## recycled_lube_oil (Sep 30, 2021)

tanstaafl28 said:


> It varies greatly depending on the maturity of the group. I've drank with sailors from the UK, Australia, Italy, and France. They all drank hard and they all made sure everyone got home at the end of the night.


I found in the forces, there was some general organisation in getting everyone back. Be that, paying someone to be a duty driver, knowing someone who would pick you up (I've been that guy, staying on camp over the weekend and not drinking, you basically volunteer yourself), actually phoning the person who really is the "Duty Driver" for the week and/or someone ensuring enough taxi's are ordered.

On civvi street however, its more of a grab a pizza or kebab at the end of the night, then go your own way.


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## recycled_lube_oil (Sep 30, 2021)

CountZero said:


> This might actually be a poorly executed attempt to stay on the wagon. He's trying to hmm, bolster his willpower I guess, to resist temptation. I could be totally off base on that one...


Yeah thats a point. When people are talking sometimes you gotta wondering if they are telling you stuff or telling themselves. I know I have rattled stuff off before and it was more for my own benefit.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

CountZero said:


> Just to be clear, both of these fellows drank responsibly (i.e., one drink apiece.) So it's doubtful a designated driver was even necessary. And, yes, on those somewhat rare occasions (introvert here, remember) I do go out, that's a responsibility I'll gladly shoulder.



I know what's in a Manhattan, It's generally made with 2 jiggers of bourbon, 1 jigger of sweet vermouth, and a splash of bitters. It is then stirred with ice and served neat. There's nothing in it that isn't alcohol, so it's a bit stronger than a lot of the more popular everyday cocktails. I know when I make them, I feel a "buzz" after one glass, and I'm a pretty experienced drinker. The general rule is the liver processes 1 ounce of liquor per hour. There are other factors, such as eating food or drinking water can slow down or dilute the absorption rate and therefore the level of inebriation felt as well.


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## islandlight (Aug 13, 2013)

CountZero said:


> @ENTJudgement also mentioned this tendency in an unnamed Asian country. Is this a general Asian social norm, or just a certain country(-ies)?


My experience is 20+ years in the past. At the time, it was common in South Korea and Japan. 

You had to go to dinner, karaoke, and the bar (and for men, the whorehouse) with the people you worked with, went to various levels of schooling with, people you played sports with, etc., etc. There were strict etiquettes around whose turn to pay, how to pour, how to drink, and so on.

I don't know about other countries.


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## SouDesuNyan (Sep 8, 2015)

I also don't drink because I don't like the taste. If it's unhealthy, then it better tastes good, and alcohol doesn't satisfy this condition. There are some social pressure, but I don't care about being excluded.


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## CountZero (Sep 28, 2012)

islandlight said:


> You had to go to dinner, karaoke, and the bar (and for men, the whorehouse) with the people you worked with


Uh, yeah, not traveling to Asia anytime soon LOL.


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## Flabarac Brupip (May 9, 2020)

recycled_lube_oil said:


> You Americans as a whole seem quite responsible when it comes to drinking.


Lol. Not in Wisconsin.


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

OrchidSugar said:


> If it's the first time I'm finding out that a friend doesn't drink, I'll usually be surprised and ask why. The first thing I will think is that they have had something bad happen in their past as a result of their own alcohol consumption or someone else's. The next thing I will think is they have a religious reason for it. I will press them for answers only one time, because if they get uncomfortable, you have to assume they have a serious reason that they don't want to share with you.


There we go, a great answer that applies to a lot of people and how they would think, if I want to be polite I cant’t just say “coz it tastes like shit, bad for your health, impairs your judgement, kills brain cells, makes you all hot inside, for what? Escaping your problems in your life?”

So every time I lie and just say I’m allergic or it causes acne or w/e excuse. Personally I couldn’t care less whether others drink but because I think about what I said above before choosing to drink MYSELF, others will just assume I judge them the same way, I don’t coz I simply don’t care.


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

tanstaafl28 said:


> It isn't if they are friends you care about, you get to relax and socialize all night with your friends. You're getting paid to make sure they get home safely at the end of the night. It's personal instead of impersonal.


Yeah it does sound nice. Like a sweet gesture. But if I were a non drinker, I think it would be too much to ask that I be the designated driver every time. Gas money or not.

But maybe it depends on the distance? Because I’m thinking from the vantage point of a major US city. If it were a small town, it wouldn’t be too bad I guess.


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

I’m surprised at the number of people saying alcohol doesn’t taste good. What am I hearing?


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

OrchidSugar said:


> I’m surprised at the number of people saying alcohol doesn’t taste good. What am I hearing?


They had a bad experience drinking liquor straight out of the bottle?


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## CountZero (Sep 28, 2012)

@OrchidSugar Sorry, but it tastes extremely nasty to me. I always figured those who drank it imbibed it for the effects, not the taste. If they did enjoy the taste, I thought it was acquired rather than an immediate liking.


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## DOGSOUP (Jan 29, 2016)

CountZero said:


> So to get on to the point, I was wondering how the drinking public views people who don't touch alcohol. Sticks in the mud? Health nuts? Morally pretentious blowhards? Inquiring minds want to know...


I'm always a bit surprised if they want to join a group of drinkers on a night out, but if they manage to have fun and not get exhausted (I know I would if I had to be in their shoes...), good for them! Otherwise I don't really think about it.


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

CountZero said:


> @OrchidSugar Sorry, but it tastes extremely nasty to me. I always figured those who drank it imbibed it for the effects, not the taste. If they did enjoy the taste, I thought it was acquired rather than an immediate liking.


Gotta keep trying til you find the one you like...


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## SouDesuNyan (Sep 8, 2015)

OrchidSugar said:


> Gotta keep trying til you find the one you like...


I also don't like the taste of alcohol. Regardless of how much fruit juice they mix in, I would rather have just the fruit juice and no alcohol.


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

CountZero said:


> @OrchidSugar Perhaps this will sound odd, but I find that when the inhibitions of others are lowered, mine have a tendency to loosen up some as well. Maybe not to the same extent, but it's still noticeable. It's easier to laugh, joke and be silly when others around you are already there.


I’ve hung out in a group plenty of times when there was only one nondrinker. They still ended up having fun laughing at everyone’s shenanigans. Drunk people are hilarious until they’re annoying. But yeah, a drunk person usually doesn’t care much about being judged if they’ve gotten to that point. They will even make jokes with the sober friend and get them in on the fun. So I agree, you don’t need to drink to have fun. But the level of inhibitions lowered is still unmatched in my opinion. 

Just as an example, I did a road trip with two friends, one of them a nondrinker. We all drank and danced a lot. By the end of the night I was so tired and we wanted to eat chicken and waffles from some place. I was falling asleep in the restaurant. The next day I learn the non drinking friend had been updating her snapchat followers about the evening. She has periodic video clips of me and the other friend dancing, drinking, slurring words, making angry eyes at someone who has bumped into me, and finally one of me hunched over asleep in a fast food joint. 

Now obviously the blame is on me for drinking in excess. But the sober friend has been watching omnipotently the whole night. I had no clue I was being recorded. This is how little spacial awareness there was. So this is what I mean power differential. Sober friend also enjoyed her evening out, but no such footage of her embarrassing herself exists because the two drinkers were too busy vibing and enjoying the effects of the drink.

I know it’s silly, but there’s a reason why we clink our drinks together in a toast. It’s symbolic of, “If I’m going down, then you’re going down with me.” “Little poison for me, little poison for thee.” So that’s why people get all mistrustful.


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

SouDesuNyan said:


> I also don't like the taste of alcohol. Regardless of how much fruit juice they mix in, I would rather have just the fruit juice and no alcohol.


Fair enough. I have a relative who is the exact same way. Regularly sends drinks back for being too strong until the waiter asks, “did you just want a virgin strawberry daiquiri then ma’am?”


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## DOGSOUP (Jan 29, 2016)

OrchidSugar said:


> I’ve hung out in a group plenty of times when there was only one nondrinker. They still ended up having fun laughing at everyone’s shenanigans. Drunk people are hilarious until they’re annoying. But yeah, a drunk person usually doesn’t care much about being judged if they’ve gotten to that point. They will even make jokes with the sober friend and get them in on the fun. So I agree, you don’t need to drink to have fun. But the level of inhibitions lowered is still unmatched in my opinion.
> 
> Just as an example, I did a road trip with two friends, one of them a nondrinker. We all drank and danced a lot. By the end of the night I was so tired and we wanted to eat chicken and waffles from some place. I was falling asleep in the restaurant. The next day I learn the non drinking friend had been updating her snapchat followers about the evening. She has periodic video clips of me and the other friend dancing, drinking, slurring words, making angry eyes at someone who has bumped into me, and finally one of me hunched over asleep in a fast food joint.
> 
> ...


Sobriety aside, that is terrible judgment on her part.


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

DOGSOUP said:


> Sobriety aside, that is terrible judgment on her part.


Yeah but it wasn’t done maliciously or in a frenemy kind of way. But I wasn’t on snapchat and don’t like that kind of thing with social media. We lived in a small town and it just made me uncomfortable. Being on her phone, I actually think it was an activity she got up to as a result of being the only sober one and not able to match the same level of energy.


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## CountZero (Sep 28, 2012)

@OrchidSugar I’ve actually tried a number of different drinks in my younger years. The only alcoholic beverage that I even came close to enjoying the taste of was Frangelico. I did have a glass of Dom Perignon once and that was pretty decent. But that is way too expensive for a merely decent drink.


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

SouDesuNyan said:


> I also don't like the taste of alcohol. Regardless of how much fruit juice they mix in, I would rather have just the fruit juice and no alcohol.


Exactly this


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## Inluuk20 (Mar 11, 2018)

I am not at all bothered by my friends having a drink while I don't, it is perfectly fine to me and I don't feel pressured to start drinking nor do my friends pressure me either. 
I am quite disturbed as to how people get downright offended when they find out that you don't drink, like what does it matter to you if I drink or not? Not that I've had any experiences with people who are like that, I don't go to public events much anyway but I do hate it that I could come across people that will look at me like "you're no fun if you don't down this cocktail this instant".

I make my own fun


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## tarmonk (Nov 21, 2017)

As someone who recently decided quit drinking at all, I could say the difference in social settings isn't even nearly that big as people like to think. Possible that it depends mostly on how you take it by yourself. Initially couple of people did ask about it (as earlier they saw me drinking) but after short answers like "I just don't drink" they soon lost interest in this. If you spend a lot of time with people who don't just accept it, maybe it is just a wrong group of people?

Keep your answers short, don't explain the reasons behind it (this is important especially if you live in culture where drinking is a tolerable norm by default) and those who're into "selling " you the idea of drinking, wouldn't have any means to peer pressure you further. Then the question is quickly off the table. Btw same technique works with annoying phone salesmen who try to convince you to buy their stuff  They've been trained to play past your reasoning so your reasoning won't help you to not buy.

Ofc also don't pressure your choices to someone else by nagging on them because they do drink  Forming an attitude towards othersfor their different choices, ruins social situation way much easier than your choice to not have a drink.

Not much has changed for me socially - if you're still active and talkative in group setting, you see that others pay much less attention than you thought, to whether you drink or not. In many cases nobody actually cares.

This "social glue" thing related to alcohol is so-so from my past experiences - yes it's easier to reach to some personal topics but on the other hand, not too many topics that show up with drunken head, are actually that insightful as they seem to be


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## CountZero (Sep 28, 2012)

OrchidSugar said:


> Just as an example, I did a road trip with two friends, one of them a nondrinker. We all drank and danced a lot. By the end of the night I was so tired and we wanted to eat chicken and waffles from some place. I was falling asleep in the restaurant. The next day I learn the non drinking friend had been updating her snapchat followers about the evening. She has periodic video clips of me and the other friend dancing, drinking, slurring words, making angry eyes at someone who has bumped into me, and finally one of me hunched over asleep in a fast food joint.
> 
> Now obviously the blame is on me for drinking in excess. But the sober friend has been watching omnipotently the whole night. I had no clue I was being recorded. This is how little spacial awareness there was. So this is what I mean power differential. Sober friend also enjoyed her evening out, but no such footage of her embarrassing herself exists because the two drinkers were too busy vibing and enjoying the effects of the drink.
> 
> I know it’s silly, but there’s a reason why we clink our drinks together in a toast. It’s symbolic of, “If I’m going down, then you’re going down with me.” “Little poison for me, little poison for thee.” So that’s why people get all mistrustful.


OK, this explains some of the reluctance to be around someone who is stone cold sober. Personally though, I make it a point not to humiliate people. I'm not sure that's what she was going for, but it certainly doesn't seem well intentioned.


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## Necrofantasia (Feb 26, 2014)

CountZero said:


> Teetotaling, for those who don't know, is the practice of abstinence from alcohol. I've always hated the taste of alcohol, and I also dislike the feeling of vulnerability and disorientation that comes with being drunk, or even just buzzed. So about 20 years ago, I stopped drinking altogether and haven't had another drop.
> 
> This has caused some interesting knock on effects socially. Once a woman almost stopped dating me because I wouldn't drink. It seemed like she felt that people who didn't drink considered themselves to be morally superior, and looked down on the common drinking rabble, if you will. I suspect she may have had an unfortunate encounter with the "straight edge" community, some members of which can be downright militant.
> 
> ...


Don't mistake an outlier opinion for a general trend.
People can drink whatever they wish, everyone has their reasons. In fact I'd actually be quite uncomfortable with anyone who pressured me to take substances or retaliated at me for not doing so.
At least IME it's been an indicator of....many things I've learned to avoid in people.


TBH, I don't touch booze unless friends want to drink. I have drinks I do enjoy but you get a far better bang for buck with weed, without the taste or the smell or the hangovers


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

Maybe alcohol is like cilantro. Some people have the special gene that makes even a small amount in any culinary application taste absolutely horrible.


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## CountZero (Sep 28, 2012)

I hate cilantro too. Maybe it's the same gene? LOL...


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## Squirt (Jun 2, 2017)

People look at you even weirder when you say, “No thanks, I only drink alone.”


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## whitful1 (4 mo ago)

CountZero said:


> So to get on to the point, I was wondering how the drinking public views people who don't touch alcohol.


Why care what a bunch of drunks think? You're more likely to enjoy yourself if you aren't welcomed by people who would frivolously judge you. 

However, my personal experience has been that most people don't care what you drink, at least in the US. People are more concerned about me if I do drink because I can be quite obnoxious once buzzed, but like the OP, I stopped drinking a while back. I didn't have a problem with drinking (I fell down just fine), but life wasn't more fun or fill in the blank with a reason why people imbibe. I had no reason to drink, plus I saved a lot of money by not buying alcohol.

I would have added an emoji, but I couldn't find one of a drunk asshole.


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## Flabarac Brupip (May 9, 2020)

I just recently cut my alcohol intake in half. I'm pretty proud of myself because of it.


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## Flabarac Brupip (May 9, 2020)

Weed is so much better. It doesn't kill my body, give me hangovers, or make me say verbal vomit to people.


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## CountZero (Sep 28, 2012)

Squirt said:


> People look at you even weirder when you say, “No thanks, I only drink alone.”


And even weirder when you say "No thanks, I only drink with the voices in my head."


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

CountZero said:


> I hate cilantro too. Maybe it's the same gene? LOL...


Ewww cilantro, yuck.


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

ENTJudgement said:


> Ewww cilantro, yuck.


I knew it. I’ve missed my calling in biogenetics. I am the science. 🧬 🧪


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

OrchidSugar said:


> I knew it. I’ve missed my calling in biogenetics. I am the science. 🧬 🧪


What a shame, what did u settle for instead?


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

ENTJudgement said:


> What a shame, what did u settle for instead?


Nonprofit programs and helping people and giving back to the community 🙄🙄🙄


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## Necrofantasia (Feb 26, 2014)

CountZero said:


> And even weirder when you say "No thanks, I only drink with the voices in my head."


I mean if life gives you lemons...why not juice the awkwardness?


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

OrchidSugar said:


> Nonprofit programs and helping people and giving back to the community 🙄🙄🙄


Ewww. 

Not to throw a wrench in this theory but I also dislike the taste of cilantro, but like the taste of some alcohol. It was acquired. 

I lived with roommates who were all over the age of 21 so they bought the alcohol, and refused to buy anything but beer or on occasion hard liquor. At first it was disgusting, but then one day we ordered pizza and I went into the fridge to get something to drink. There was a diet coke and a beer right next to it. I didn't want to get drunk, but just for the taste, I picked the beer. That's when I knew I acquired the taste. 

For hard alcohol, it's really about sipping it. Just wetting your tongue with it a little to get the flavor. If you take shots, you'll get the burn, not the flavor.


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## OrchidSugar (5 mo ago)

Ms. Aligned said:


> Ewww.
> 
> Not to throw a wrench in this theory but I also dislike the taste of cilantro, but like the taste of some alcohol. It was acquired.
> 
> ...


I have to agree with you. I have not tasted anything as unlucky as the diet version of any beverage


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

OrchidSugar said:


> I have to agree with you. I have not tasted anything as unlucky as the diet version of any beverage


Oh, I love diet drinks! Add it to my list of vices. I'm super pissed they discontinued Mike's Lite Hard Lemonade, those were the shit. Too much sugar makes me break out in a sweat and especially in alcohol, I'll be doubled over with a stomach ache after only a few sips of something sweet.


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## inscarth (2 mo ago)

Squirt said:


> People look at you even weirder when you say, “No thanks, I only drink alone.”


I drink alone
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHH with nobody else
Yeeaa you know when I drink alone
_I prefer to be by myself_

Now every morning just before breakfast
I don't want no coffee or tea 👎
Just me and my good buddy WEISER
That's all I ever need  'CAUSE I DRINK ALONE
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHH with nobody else

𝓨𝓔𝓔𝓔𝓔𝓔𝓔𝓔𝓐𝓐𝓐𝓐𝓐𝓐𝓐𝓐 the other night I laid sleeping
And I woke from a terrible dream
So I called up my pal Jack Daniels 🍺
🍻 And his partner Jimmy Beam
............ AND WE DRANK ALONE
𝒴𝑒𝑒𝑒𝑒𝑒𝑒𝑒𝒶𝒶𝒶𝒶𝒶𝒶𝒶 you know when I drink alone
............................ _I prefer to be by myself_


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## PowerShell (Feb 3, 2013)

I live in Wisconsin, which is the drunk capital of the USA (we literally lead the nation in binge drinking and drunk driving). Honestly, most people don't care if you don't drink (I drink and don't care if other people don't drink). If you're at the bar, order a soda. I think the only time people care are the obsessive non-drinkers. Basically, the people whose identities rely on being a non-drinker. Many of them had past alcohol issues, maybe attend AA, and generally get preachy about the negative effects of alcohol.


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## Flabarac Brupip (May 9, 2020)

PowerShell said:


> I live in Wisconsin, which is the drunk capital of the USA (we literally lead the nation in binge drinking and drunk driving). Honestly, most people don't care if you don't drink (I drink and don't care if other people don't drink). If you're at the bar, order a soda. I think the only time people care are the obsessive non-drinkers. Basically, the people whose identities rely on being a non-drinker. Many of them had past alcohol issues, maybe attend AA, and generally get preachy about the negative effects of alcohol.


Yeah, literally 10 of the 20 drunkest US cities are in Wisconsin! I live in Wisconsin too, but I've evolved into more of a weed smoker. I have a 6 pack of beer or so about 15 times a year.


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## PowerShell (Feb 3, 2013)

Flabarac Brupip said:


> Yeah, literally 10 of the 20 drunkest US cities are in Wisconsin! I live in Wisconsin too, but I've evolved into more of a weed smoker. I have a 6 pack of beer or so about 15 times a year.


Where in Wisconsin are you at? I live in Belleville (30 minutes south of Madison on the Dane-Green County line). I prefer drinking beer, but I guess I could drive 30 miles to Illinois to buy legal weed if I wanted lol


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## Flabarac Brupip (May 9, 2020)

PowerShell said:


> Where in Wisconsin are you at? I live in Belleville (30 minutes south of Madison on the Dane-Green County line). I prefer drinking beer, but I guess I could drive 30 miles to Illinois to buy legal weed if I wanted lol


Appleton. Its #1 on the list I just looked at! I saw _12_ Wisconsin cities on the list this time! But our city also just voted 68.5% that we want legalized weed.


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## PowerShell (Feb 3, 2013)

Flabarac Brupip said:


> Appleton. Its #1 on the list I just looked at! I saw _12_ Wisconsin cities on the list this time! But our city also just voted 68.5% that we want legalized weed.


Yeah it's crazy how many Wisconsin cities top the list. We also voted for legalized weed in Dane County. Sadly, the Tavern League will fight it. I guess if I wanted it, Illinois is only 30 miles away from me.


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