# If an INTJ is not initiating contact...what does that mean?



## enfptoafault (Jun 29, 2017)

I am an ENFP, I am in love with my INTJ from the first week I met him. He has dumped me three times in the past year and a half (super embracing) and we are trying things again. I have come to understand his need for autonomy and his lack of communication are normal.

What worries me is that the signs that an INTJ is not interested in a SO is very clear (lack of initiating communication and contact, not asking how I am doing, not being there when things get hard, short polite responses) but he still agrees to meet with me, we have a great time, when we are together he is very nurturing, kind, thoughtful, and affectionate. Plus our conversations are great.

I don't know where I stand, I feel alone and embarrassed that I am the only one trying in this relationship. 

I asked to spend time with him this weekend and he barely told me that he is leaving the state for a weekend trip with friends...wasn't I worth a text of a heads up or is this normal?

This can't be normal right?

I have read so much on INTJ, saw a bunch of videos...please help me.


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## l0stinspace (Jun 29, 2017)

Oh, reminds me of an INTJ who I had crush on, at first he was nice then the hot/cold game became harsher and harsher. He was sending me mixed signals, he didn't really care about my wellbeing but somehow I just know he was interested in me, even when ignoring. Basically he yearned for an unhealthy relationship with me of slave and master or something. So basically, he was an unhealthy INTJ because I met healthy INTJs and I can tell there is difference. Your INTJ sounds unhealthy type. Does he show signs of narcissism? I know INTJ is a type who is prone to narcissism and paranoia when unhealthy


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