# On My Stepfather's Type/s



## Kanerou (Oct 8, 2009)

From here. 

*Why I think he's Te:*

1. The man can be talking to you about a subject and _never shut up_. Seriously. Not a surefire sign of Te, but it is my understanding that they can go on forever about certain subjects.

2. He shows a concern with explaining how things work but also with doing things efficiently/speedily(?). For example, back when he installed an A/C unit in my room (it was summer, the central air was out, and I worked nights), he asked if I knew how it worked. I said I could probably figure it out. He launched into a relatively detailed explanation of what knobs did what, etc. And the information was helpful. I was just annoyed that he kept ahead after I declined (he does that). There was another time my mother told me about, where she was pouring liquid into a pitcher and he offered to show her a better (quicker?) way of doing it. She said she must have given him a look, because he shut up and found something else to do. When I was young, he used to show me that I could do chores faster than I was doing them. I seem to recall being annoyed by that back then.

3. The copious amounts of knowledge trading between us. When he used to pick me up from the community college, he would ask me what I learned, and I would basically just unload what the teachers had taught that day. And of course what I mentioned in the other thread, with this extending into other areas as well.

4. When presented with socionics, he listened to what I had to say and then asked me what the practical value of the system was. At later times, he would ask me how I planned to use socionics in my line of work (at the time, I had considered being a psychologist). Similarly, when it comes to reading, he sticks to books that he considers to have a practical use for him.

5. He did identify with a Fe-role description back when I ran profiles by him. (He chose LIE for himself based on the information presented, and I'm not entirely sure I disagree with that.)

*Some reasons he's been typed LSI:*

1. Excessive fixation on authority, especially as defined by the Bible. He sees himself as the God-ordained head of the house, and he is to be respected regardless of how he's acting at the time.

2. Tying into this, he has a tendency to try and shove his views down our throats. He is so convinced that he has the right way and (I'm assuming) that we'll just understand if he tells us enough times. And of course, he loves us and wants the best for us, so he pushes. And then wonders why I completely pushed him away. ( ¬.¬) Learning that people are allowed to hold their own views separate from his has been a process.

2. He can have some incredibly absolutist views, especially where his religious beliefs are concerned. Like the argument we had over micro-evolution vs macro-evolution. I think the former is not only a real thing but completely compatible with the Bible. He doesn't and went so far as to say that if I wasn't going to believe that, I may as well toss the whole book (or the whole Bible, one of the two).


This probably isn't complete, and I may dig up more later.
@_cyamitide_


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## Kanerou (Oct 8, 2009)

Hah! I totally forgot about that. Back when we were younger, my parents had instituted a "check system". Each thing we did wrong that day was registered as a mark against us, and there were predetermined punishments based on how many checks we had accumulated. (Thank goodness that eventually died.)


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

He does sound like a logical rational type from that description.

The seeing himself as the God-ordained authority could point out to him being type 1. 
I was recently reading some older threads regarding type 1 on some enneagram forums, and among this type's qualities, or possibly vices, it mentioned that 1s having this "I-know-better-than-you" trait that really pisses a lot of people off. For some religious 1s it can get to an extent that the person tries to replace the god-figure with themselves and have the God speak through them. Considering that 6s and 1s do butt heads, it's likely that your stepdad might be of this enneagram type.

Concerning LIE, would you say he easily experiments with methods? I've known an LIE type 1 before and he was a very active fellow who liked to experiment a lot, usually with something hands-on and mechanical. He was very mobile and energetic, always ready for action, and slept something like 5 hours a night.


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## Kanerou (Oct 8, 2009)

cyamitide said:


> The seeing himself as the God-ordained authority could point out to him being type 1.
> I was recently reading some older threads regarding type 1 on some enneagram forums, and among this type's qualities, or possibly vices, it mentioned that 1s having this "I-know-better-than-you" trait that really pisses a lot of people off. For some religious 1s it can get to an extent that the person tries to replace the god-figure with themselves and have the God speak through them. Considering that 6s and 1s do butt heads, it's likely that your stepdad might be of this enneagram type.


Hmm. I wouldn't say he's trying to replace God, but he definitely believes he has His full backing. He's also veeeery stubbornly moralistic. Another thing we clash over, as I find his standards ridiculous.



> Concerning LIE, would you say he easily experiments with methods? I've known an LIE type 1 before and he was a very active fellow who liked to experiment a lot, usually with something hands-on and mechanical. He was very mobile and energetic, always ready for action, and slept something like 5 hours a night.


Not that I am aware of. I find his creative function hard to pin down because while he is very much into health and wellness (vitamins, eating right, exercise, etc), it's something he wasn't always very aware of, and he's prone to push his body where stuff like sleep is concerned. Concerning energy, he's a med tech at a cancer hospital, so he does highly detailed work in a very fast-paced environment. He does have more of a future focus than a present focus, which is one way in which he and Mom may conflict. Yet he does the stupidest stuff sometimes, like pulling out a project at the last minute when we really don't have the time for him to be messing with it (another way he pisses Mom off).


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## Kanerou (Oct 8, 2009)

On a related note, I personally feel that much of is drive to have us do what's "best" is due to his own very bad childhood, like he's so determined not to screw us up and have us come out right that he'll push his perceived right way onto us. 

I haven't gotten too far into it yet, but morally- and somewhat socially-focused E1 sounds potentially plausible. He's been incredibly involved in not only church itself but in their various outreaches (street ministry, material aid) in the past. He has from time to time been overly involved in these things, actually, which pissed off Mom because there were things around the house that needed done. (He does fix stuff, but I guess things fell by the wayside sometimes.)


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## sinigang (May 5, 2012)

Sounds like LSE. Try considering his quadra perhaps?


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## Kanerou (Oct 8, 2009)

sinigang said:


> Sounds like LSE. Try considering his quadra perhaps?


Having looked over LIE more… eh. It can be difficult sometimes to determine how much of his behavior is natural and how much of it is motivated by belief that it is the correct spiritual action. With that very important caveat, LSE is more likely than I thought. LIE seems to be depicted as someone who doesn’t care and perhaps even cannot be bothered with physical matters. While he does not fit my personal idea of a Caregiver, Dad does have a very strong focus on and devotion to making sure our needs are met. He works his butt off, often doing overtime when it’s available, so that we can have what we need and do what we enjoy. He helps around the house and tends to lecture us when we don’t. He’s very willing to fix stuff for us, carry stuff for us, etc. He cares quite a bit about Mom being up to a certain standard when she leaves the house (no stained shirts, shirts with holes, etc). His attitude toward keeping stuff clean tends toward “God can’t bless us with more if we can’t take care of this”, which does seem more like taking care of the immediate for the sake of the future; then again, would an LIE even care? Hard to say.

Now, he does not strike me as having any specific short-term focus. Nor would I consider him the “DIY when other options are available” sort. Of course, I say this as I acknowledge that he fixes pretty much anything broken around the house that he can. He does focus a lot on people’s potential to change and insists that they be seen in this light rather than condemned or written off for where they’re at now. However, he sounds like he was more judgmental back in the day, so this could just be a case of adopting Christian philosophy.


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## Kanerou (Oct 8, 2009)

One thing I find particularly strange - and maybe this is getting out of socionics and into MBTI type? - is the way in which our reasoning systems clash. He'll give me a recommendation or assert a fact and assume that because he has experience in the matter or a source to back it up that I should just accept it as being true. I, on the other hand, don't really trust what does not make sense to me, so I question such things if that happens. Then he gets irritated with me for not trusting him/the factual or moral authority cited. I can give examples later.


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## WatchingSkyfall (Jul 2, 2013)

I think LSE from what you have told us.

It is common for xSE types, due to their weak Ni, to spend a long time talking. For ESE this can be telling a very long, albeit entertaining story. For LSE this can be giving out tsunami-loads of informative jibber jabber, thus making the listener wait quite a while before they can continue with what they were doing. The idea is that the LSE's Te wishes to inform and increase productivity but the weak Ni does not adjust that flow of information to temporal urgency.


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## RoSoDude (Apr 3, 2012)

What about him made you think LSI before? I'm honestly not really seeing it. LSE, as others have stated, sounds very likely. Reminds me of my LSE mother in a lot of ways (not to say that is an adequate typing method, just an anecdote).


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## Kanerou (Oct 8, 2009)

@_RoSoDude_ Others thought he was LSI, and I could sorta see where they were coming from. After a few years, though, I realized he seems much more Te-quadra. Also, I did address this in the first post, unless you specifically wanted further elaboration.


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## Kanerou (Oct 8, 2009)

Addendum to the above post:

@_RoSoDude_ To be a little clearer in addressing your question, here is the relevant information from the thread that I linked in the first post.



Kanerou said:


> Not deeply. A friend has suggested that he's probably E1.
> 
> Edit: he and my mother have long-standing issues that she's nearly divorced him over/threatened to leave him over many times. She's ESE and most likely E2.
> 
> ...





cyamitide said:


> *Re: third edit, what makes you think that he is Te base instead of Ti base?*


The rest is actually in the first post, so I'm not going to quote it.


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

Kanerou said:


> Not that I am aware of. I find his creative function hard to pin down because while he is very much into health and wellness (vitamins, eating right, exercise, etc), it's something he wasn't always very aware of, and he's prone to push his body where stuff like sleep is concerned. Concerning energy, he's a med tech at a cancer hospital, so he does highly detailed work in a very fast-paced environment. He does have more of a future focus than a present focus, which is one way in which he and Mom may conflict. Yet he does the stupidest stuff sometimes, like pulling out a project at the last minute when we really don't have the time for him to be messing with it (another way he pisses Mom off).


He may be the logical subtype. They "use" more of their activating function and their creative one is difficult to pin down usually. You might have more luck figuring out what his mobilizing and vulnerable aspects are, whether they have to do with sensing or intuition. Assuming you're ExI, either way you should be somehow aware of his PoLR spot (semi-duals and duals can "feel" each other's PoLR).

I've been re-reading the Aspects in Functions translation and noticed that for dominant Te it said: "This person is very confident in his own knowledge. He lives by external rules or "charter" that he has thought up himself. He imposes his vision of the correct "order of things" in external situations and is conservative in this vision (his assessment of who should be doing what, etc.). Everything must be in its place; moving anything makes him want to put it back where it belongs. Has a strong notion of "my territory", of "ownership"." Your description of your dad is very fitting with this.

I kind of doubt that he is LSI. I've known a couple of LSIs before, including my driving class instructor, and they don't actively impose their "charter" or "order of things". Instead they have what I would call "selective hearing". They go on ignore everything that doesn't agree with their Ti, that doesn't fall into their "system", and reinforce only the aspects that are agreeable and understandable to them. When I talk to them I feel like they are directing and channeling the conversation through this selective perception. LSI's "order" exists in their head, constructed and maintained by their leading structural logic, but it's not something they openly state like your dad does it.


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## Kanerou (Oct 8, 2009)

cyamitide said:


> He may be the logical subtype. They "use" more of their activating function and their creative one is difficult to pin down usually. You might have more luck figuring out what his mobilizing and vulnerable aspects are, whether they have to do with sensing or intuition. Assuming you're ExI, either way you should be somehow aware of his PoLR spot (semi-duals and duals can "feel" each other's PoLR).


If I was aware of his PoLR, typing him would be easier. I originally thought him Si PoLR, but after reading more about it, he's not quite that way (or he's really worked himself out of it). I haven't really grasped Ni yet (it confuses me), so Ni PoLR wouldn't be easy for me to spot anyway. As I mentioned in the previous thread, the majority of our info exchange seems to be on a Te level.

Edit: For what it's worth, he appreciated my firmness of opinion when I was younger.



> I've been re-reading the Aspects in Functions translation and noticed that for dominant Te it said: "This person is very confident in his own knowledge. He lives by external rules or "charter" that he has thought up himself. He imposes his vision of the correct "order of things" in external situations and is conservative in this vision (his assessment of who should be doing what, etc.). Everything must be in its place; moving anything makes him want to put it back where it belongs. *Has a strong notion of "my territory", of "ownership"."* Your description of your dad is very fitting with this.


I disagree with the bolded. If he is that way, I have never noticed it. In fact, that describes me much more than it describes him.



> I kind of doubt that he is LSI. I've known a couple of LSIs before, including my driving class instructor, and they don't actively impose their "charter" or "order of things". Instead they have what I would call "selective hearing". They go on ignore everything that doesn't agree with their Ti, that doesn't fall into their "system", and reinforce only the aspects that are agreeable and understandable to them. When I talk to them I feel like they are directing and channeling the conversation through this selective perception. LSI's "order" exists in their head, constructed and maintained by their leading structural logic, but it's not something they openly state like your dad does it.


I would argue that Dad is _very_ good at dismissing what doesn't fit into his worldview. As for the rest, I can't really comment as I'm not aware of any LSIs in my proximity.


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## liebling (Jul 4, 2013)

Kanerou said:


> If I was aware of his PoLR, typing him would be easier. I originally thought him Si PoLR, but after reading more about it, he's not quite that way (or he's really worked himself out of it). I haven't really grasped Ni yet (it confuses me), so Ni PoLR wouldn't be easy for me to spot anyway. As I mentioned in the previous thread, the majority of our info exchange seems to be on a Te level.


Ni PoLR? I have had a very good experience of people with this. The best way to see it in behaviour is to do with a chronic lack of temporal awareness. LSE might start on a household task and might refuse to finish until it satisfies their sense of aesthetic perfection (Si). It needs to look just right! The problem is, they will have spent a good hour on that task when they should have moved on to something else. While an LIE does the basic, practically efficient job and moves on to other 'bigger' things, LSE will focus on the details and forget what they're meant to be doing next. Other ways this may show up... you need to get somewhere by a certain time and the LSE father confronts you on not wearing a proper coat. He will then insist on you going back upstairs, looking for the coat etc. or he may do this himself, in both circumstances making you late for your appointment. He would have focused on the present aesthetic need, forgetting the temporal need of getting somewhere at certain time in the future. They also tend to not understand the idea of waiting for something to happen. Because they don't easily see probable outcomes further along the line, they prefer the hustle and bustle of the now, being physically busy as a means to compensate, always doing something physically to get ready and perhaps even missing the thing they were preparing for because of this over-preparation. An ILI on the other hand would just sit and wait for the right time before getting up on the dot. For instance, an LSE father is getting the kids ready for school, barking commands, striding around the house fetching things, doing this, doing that. There is a lot of rush, a lot of "stop sitting there, get up and do something or you'll be late... have you brushed your teeth? cleaned your ears? applied deodorant generously?". The next thing you know, the LSE himself has made the kids late for school, not leaving the house until 15 minutes past the dot because the LSE just couldn't leave that dishwasher unemptied. My friend Peter also described how the LSE will have trouble considering the outcome of things he has had no experience of... an LSE who has spent his life as a teacher will have difficulty in a conversation about how is life will have turned out if he were an fighter pilot. He might find the conversation rather irritating.


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

Kanerou said:


> If I was aware of his PoLR, typing him would be easier. I originally thought him Si PoLR, but after reading more about it, he's not quite that way (or he's really worked himself out of it). I haven't really grasped Ni yet (it confuses me), so Ni PoLR wouldn't be easy for me to spot anyway. As I mentioned in the previous thread, the majority of our info exchange seems to be on a Te level.
> 
> Edit: For what it's worth, he appreciated my firmness of opinion when I was younger.
> 
> ...


The LSI might ignore what I say, but they don't impress on me how to act or what to think, unlike your father. LSIs implicitly suppose that people will adjust to them, since they talk to everyone like they are talking to their EIE dual, who easily readjusts himself to other people.


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