# Are NTs family-oriented? Do you believe in the so called “sacredness of family”?



## Asmodaeus (Feb 15, 2015)

In my case, except for a few noteworthy exceptions, I’m fairly distant from the overwhelming majority of my relatives. Thus, I really don’t have any kind of meaningful connection whatsoever to most of them and the few that I do occasionally frequent get to enjoy my company a) because they have been supportive of my goals or b) because they are somehow interesting. 

Even though I more or less constantly keep in touch with those with whom I get along well -mostly NTs and NFs-, I personally interact with them only a few times each year. Under those circumstances, I prefer discussing intellectual topics (science, politics, history, economics, culture, art, books, cinema, gastronomy and so on) rather than personal stuff. 

In contrast, the ones who are clingy, ordinary, uninteresting, gossipy, shallow and/or meddlesome are systematically avoided by me. 

Moreover, I admit that even though I understand the conceptual definition of family in sociological terms, I don’t get the so called “sacredness of family” (including its emotional ramifications) which are apparently conditioned only by the fact that one happens to share some DNA with other people. 

Last but not least, even though I don’t dislike the possibility of eventually getting married, I don’t want to have children because it’s not convenient for me (in monetary and professional terms) and being paternal is simply not in my nature.

I guess all of the above makes me a skeptic of the so called “sacredness of family.”

What about other NTs?


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## sinaasappel (Jul 22, 2015)

Lolfamily


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## HGy (Jul 3, 2016)

I'm very family oriented and my family means the world to me. I'm really close with my brothers and we talk almost every day.


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## Lelu (Jun 1, 2015)

I didn't use to care, but a sudden realization came upon in the past year or so. That the world is a hostile place and family is among the only people you can fully trust due to you essentially living under a social contract with them for many years. 

Just as well, I realized it's one of the keys to being "immortalized" in this world:

As long as your family builds a foundation (Organization/business for example) with which it can build upon over each generation, then each generation should be able to start their lives out further ahead than the last and eventually consolidate power.

With this in mind, there is something sacred about family.


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## Shinsei (May 9, 2016)

Am fairly distant from family, however there have been times when i realised that i need to spend more time with my mother and just talk about random things.

My dad is an ISTJ so he isn't that much fun.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

I generally feel distant from day to day, but I do think theres an instinct to care more about a person being harmed the closer you are to them, and I don't think being NT exempts me from that instinct. I know an ENTP who has claimed otherwise, "no I am just as affected if someone dies in another country as one of family members". They may have been trolling, because I shared an article written by a psychology professor about the limitations of empathy, and why reason needs to take over at that point.  Either way, I'm not convinced of the capacity for unlimited and universal empathy. 

As far as my family though, I dont feel like it's inherently sacred, but I do think if they experience something negative I would end up giving more effort to help than I might to a stranger (same would be true for anyone I know well, though). 

I think NTs tend not to find inherent value in something that isn't merit-based, such as shared DNA.


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## Finny (Jul 17, 2015)

I don't really think there's a "sacredness to family". I think what makes up family is the people that are close to you whether they share your DNA or not, and it's certainly important to have people who are close to you in your life.


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## Aladdin Sane (May 10, 2016)

I love my [immediate] family. They're all I have in life, really. Nobody gives a shit about you aside from your family. I have no idea what 'sacredness of the family' actually means, it just seems to be one of those right wing conservative catchphrases that don't actually have any relevance to real life.


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## Aridela (Mar 14, 2015)

If you mean are NTs likely to want a family I'd say less so than the SJs.

Personally I'm close to my immediate family, but not overly affectionate with them with the exception of my little sister (10 years difference so that may explain why). We're mostly introverts so being a bit detached is considered normal, yet we're really open with each other and will take constructive criticism relatively well from one another. I feel they have my back and that's a very comforting feeling in a world where friendships and relationships can come and go with lightning speed. I certainly learned to appreciate my family more as the years went by.


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## Necrofantasia (Feb 26, 2014)

My mother aside, my family is the friends I chose.
I effectively have cut myself off from all but three of my blood relatives.


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## LittleMermaid (Jul 24, 2014)

ziggy stardust x said:


> Nobody gives a shit about you aside from your family.


And in some cases, neither does family. It certainly isn't automatically sacred to me.


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## HGy (Jul 3, 2016)

I'm family oriented. Free wifi.


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## Spiren (May 12, 2016)

The whole concept makes me groan in annoyance. Why is it sacred exactly, because you share DNA and that comes with some sort of obligation for forced interaction and harmony? Well, all of that is bullshit. It isn't shared DNA or someone conceiving you and bringing you into the world that makes great families, it is years of mutual interest in each other that goes through phases of care, nurture, acceptance and validation. For one, you didn't ask to be conceived but now that you are here, you are compelled to live your life as you see fit.

The parent-child relationship is a growing changing relationship that requires adaptation on the parts of both the child and the parent. Understanding and respect for this one idea seems fundamental to success, many parents are simply unable to grasp that their child will not remain a child forever; perhaps it is better to use terms such as son or daughter since they do not denote age, maturity or position.

I don't want to elaborate on my family except to say they did not teach me much but as I've gotten older, my relationships have been improving with them. When I was younger, we were dismissive towards each other. I was very independent and they were busy. I like who I am and wouldn't change that, I can still see reality for what it was though. Thankfully, I have a small family otherwise I'd probably not see them every other week at the least like I do; being a small family has gone from too much interest in my affairs once I left to more communication that balances that.

My relationship with my sister picked up a year or so after I moved out and became more involved when we both matured once I hit my twenties. I think she brings a softer side out of me and I enjoy time with my nephew; I'd be a lot more closed off if I hadn't spent time with them and she hadn't made more of an effort.


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## fieryelf (Mar 28, 2016)

I get along perfectly with my immediate family, (Brother, Sister, Father and Mother). My father always gives great advice, my mother is very affectionate, my sister is very comforting when I need emotional support and my brother is like my best friend because he's always been there for as long as I can remember. 

Everyone else, (Grand parents, cousins, aunts and uncles) I don't care for at all. Most of them I see less than once a year and I can't imagine anyone of them being NT. Most of my Christmas parties conversations end up being about their health problems and how the weather has been lately...

My parents kept telling me to socialize more when I was younger during those events but now that I know about the MBTI, I'm starting to see why I was so reluctant to do so with this family.


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## BlackMage (Dec 23, 2013)

Family will have to prove themselves of my trust just like friends, or they get nada from me. Blood may be thicker than water, but my patience is thinner than both so...


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## Too Weird Too Normal (Dec 4, 2015)

I can relate. I'm mostly rational about family, especially the ones I didn't birth (as much of "birth" a man can do) and choose myself, but there is some normal to me deep down as well. Though, I was probably more interested in marriage and children than most people when I was a kid.


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## somecheese (Jul 23, 2016)

I really am not family oriented... and I feel fairly strongly about this. The whole family thing is alright and marriage makes sense if you're living in some technology-free cesspool of disease and incest, but if you're in a society with access to things like health care, contraceptive methods and DNA testing, marriage is unnecessary and only really suits a much, much smaller percentage of the population than people would like to believe. I realise the question was about family, but I think marriage ties into that, because if it weren't for marriage people probably wouldn't even know who their grandparents or siblings or cousins were without having to actively seek them out. I don't think that there is such a thing as "sacredness of family", although families, namely parents and siblings, can be great and super beneficial (as I'm sure it's been mentioned). But if you think about the statistics- think back to high school- how many people there did you think were utter assholes? Or even the workplace, or life in general? How many people do you see on a daily basis and think, holy shit, I'm really glad I don't have to hang around with them. For me, I would say a good 20-30% of people, if I got to know them, I would be sort of disappointed. So if the world is full of assholes, and all those assholes have children, are those children supposed to believe in the supposed "sacredness of family" for the sake of it? What if you're a decent person with some shitty parents, grand-parents, cousins or siblings? Are you meant to stick around because somebody else told you to, or do you go out to hang around with some more decent people? Funnily enough, I actually do have a decent family- I just don't think that people should be forced to subject themselves to particular people just because they're related to them.


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