# Married and Content SPs



## Mermerce (Nov 15, 2012)

*Hi there, I was just curious about those SPs out there who are married and feel content in their marriage.
*


About how long have you been married for?
How is it that this current partner keeps you content, without you feeling that there could be a greener pasture out there for you to reach?
As a youth, did the concept of commitment intimidate you? If yes, why?
If so, what changed this for you?
What aspect of life are you currently working on improving (exploring possibilities) for yourself?



Disclaimer: I am by no means trying to predict anyone's behaviours based upon temperament. I am just curious to understand how those with SP temperament may cognitively come to resolve the conflict between seeking new possibilities and commitment. I am not working with stereotype, but rather with Keirsey's theory itself, so please refrain from feelings of offense as that is not my intention.

_Thank you ahead for your time!_


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## ferroequinologist (Jul 27, 2012)

Mermerce said:


> *Hi there, I was just curious about those SPs out there who are married and feel content in their marriage.
> *


Male ISFP here, married to an INTP.

1. About how long have you been married for?
25 years this week. We met in high school, stayed together through college, and married one year after her graduation, and the summer before my last year (I took six years to finish due to financial constraints).


2. How is it that this current partner keeps you content, without you feeling that there could be a greener pasture out there for you to reach?

I've never considered "greener" pastures. This question actually comes across as quite shallow. I don't have many friends, but once someone is a friend, he is a friend for life. I don't back-stab, walk away from or betray friends--and my wife is much, much more than that. I vowed a vow to her, and I will keep my word regardless, and that vow is to love her. I will do anything to keep that vow. I will not be a vow-breaker nor a liar. If I cannot be trusted to keep my word for what is probably the most important relationship in life, then my word is worth nothing. In other words, it doesn't depend on her "pleasing" me or keeping me content. Granted, we both operate on this principle, but marriage is not something either of us entered lightly. 


3. As a youth, did the concept of commitment intimidate you? If yes, why?

I cannot imagine the concept of commitment _not_ intimidating anybody. Yet, life is built on commitments. One cannot truly grow up or be said to have matured without learning how to make commitments and keep them. 


4. If so, what changed this for you?

Growing up. ;-) Actually, having kids made a big difference. In fact, I think that the prospect of children was far more intimidating to me than simple marriage. Up until my first child was born, I was more terrified of that than anything else, but as soon as my son was born, I fit into the role of being his father like I'd done it my entire life. The same happened for the other three children--before they were born, I doubted my ability to be a good father to them. But having children certainly changes ones perspective. Life can no longer be a game or all about me, or what I want. Of course, life _shouldn't_ be all about me, or my wants/needs, but having children certainly opens your eyes to this truth.


5. What aspect of life are you currently working on improving (exploring possibilities) for yourself?

Midlife crisis. ;-)


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

I'm married to an ISFJ.



About how long have you been married for?

10 years. 




How is it that this current partner keeps you content, without you feeling that there could be a greener pasture out there for you to reach?

I couldn't say. I make him happy and he makes me happy. Sometimes we have disagreements. Like when he puts the brakes on my great ideas. Or when he starts talking about big plans for the future that I just don't want to deal with. But we respect each other. 




As a youth, did the concept of commitment intimidate you? If yes, why?

It sounded like being chained to one path. 




If so, what changed this for you?

ISFJ logic (yes they have logic :tongue, my parents are committed to each other but continued to live adventurously together. They've lived all over the world. Marriage and children doesn't mean you have to stick to one straight and narrow path. He was right. 




What aspect of life are you currently working on improving (exploring possibilities) for yourself?

Staying at home with children. I'm making the best of it and turning it into an adventure for them. We have all day, every day, to explore this world. I didn't want to put my career aside at once. But then I saw the opportunities for exploration and two years at home with them, I've come to the realization that this rocks! I get to show them the world!


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## Mermerce (Nov 15, 2012)

Thanks for the unique stories you've shared so far. I look forward to reading more.


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

ferroequinologist said:


> Male ISFP here, married to an INTP.
> 
> 1. About how long have you been married for?
> 25 years this week. We met in high school, stayed together through college, and married one year after her graduation, and the summer before my last year (I took six years to finish due to financial constraints).
> ...


<.<...ok...I admire you! WoW! This sort of gives me hope, because commitment kind of scared me when I was on it's doorstep (commitment is one scary monster when one stares into the future). The fact that the relationship wasn't working out probably contributed to the decision of splitting...HOWEVER, I'm the same way as you, once someone is a friend, they stay one or at least I'll give it my best to respect and cherish them. 

I have a question. o.o what type is your wife? 

PS I'm old enough to be your kid ...you are the kind of ISFP one can look up to.


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## ferroequinologist (Jul 27, 2012)

FreeBeer said:


> I have a question. o.o what type is your wife?
> 
> PS I'm old enough to be your kid ...you are the kind of ISFP one can look up to.


She's INTP--not an easy relationship match according to MBTI and Socionics, but we've made it work. 

And thanks for the kind words. It makes me feel a lot better. really.


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## 6007 (Feb 12, 2010)

I'm an ISTP, married to ISTJ

1. About how long have you been married for?
7 years.

2. How is it that this current partner keeps you content, without you feeling that there could be a greener pasture out there for you to reach?


I got to know him before we were dating, and he basically is the embodiment of my dream man. Is he perfect? Nope. Is our relationship always easy? Nope. But fundamentally, I respect and admire him, he is someone I value deeply. He was the first real friend I ever had, and I respect that. He's been such a great person to have around and get to know.

3. As a youth, did the concept of commitment intimidate you? If yes, why?

I think sometimes it did, actually. I was definitely intimidated by the idea of marriage also. I wasn't sure the guy I was with was really right for me, so I was very intimidated. The idea of a commitment with an unsuitable partner is horrible.

4. What aspect of life are you currently working on improving (exploring possibilities) for yourself?

I'm focused on my business, marriage, friendships, and my own personal growth at this time in my life.


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## Mermerce (Nov 15, 2012)

bumping because I want more <:


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## Kayleigh (Oct 29, 2013)

About how long have you been married for?
-A little over a year.

How is it that this current partner keeps you content, without you feeling that there could be a greener pasture out there for you to reach?
-I'm really not sure. I think maybe it's the fact that I dated a lot before meeting my husband. Had I not done this, I think I'd always wonder about "greener pastures". Also, we get along very well.

As a youth, did the concept of commitment intimidate you? If yes, why?
-YES. Big time. It was funny because it's generally the girl who wants commitment but prior to meeting my H, anytime a guy expressed commitment (or being too attached) I freaked and ran. No idea why... I guess I thought commitment was boring.

If so, what changed this for you?
-I think when I met my H I just didn't find him boring. He was driven, had clear goals (I didn't), and was very patient with me. (He's an ISFJ).

What aspect of life are you currently working on improving (exploring possibilities) for yourself?
-Eh, I don't know. I recently moved to a new city so I've been a little too busy exploring that to focus on much else.


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## NiamhD (Dec 3, 2013)

I am ISTP, married to INTJ

About how long have you been married for?
~10 years

How is it that this current partner keeps you content, without you feeling that there could be a greener pasture out there for you to reach?
~I'm not sure how to answer this. I guess he respects me for who I am and doesn't expect me to change for anyone, nor would he want me to. He treats me well, supports me, gives me freedom when I want it and attention when I want it. He's not bad on the eyes either. ;-)

As a youth, did the concept of commitment intimidate you? If yes, why?
~No. Well, not marital commitment. I've always wanted to get married and have a long-lasting, functioning marriage.

If so, what changed this for you?
~N/A

What aspect of life are you currently working on improving (exploring possibilities) for yourself?
~*shrugs* I guess patience.


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## Adam E. (Nov 20, 2012)

I am ISTP, married to INFJ

About how long have you been married for?
8 years this month. 

How is it that this current partner keeps you content, without you feeling that there could be a greener pasture out there for you to reach?
I have always been a temperament/psychology nut. On our first date I had her take the Keirsey sorter. We have definitely had to work on our relationship (communication) but she gets me and I will insist I get her (she would disagree). The openness and honesty we have with each other, I couldnt imagine finding with anyone else. There is no illusion in our relationship and I prefer it that way. No dance, no pretense, just raw imperfections and a comfort level unprecedented. 

As a youth, did the concept of commitment intimidate you? If yes, why?
Nope. I always wanted to have a "someone". 

What aspect of life are you currently working on improving (exploring possibilities) for yourself?
Education/Profession. I am finishing a Masters of Psychology and pursuing an LPC license. Once I have that, I will put her through school for the same.


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