# ENTJ male with INTJ girlfriend



## openedskittles (May 24, 2009)

That's what I am. What I'm wondering is what those of you who are more versed in typology think of this relationship. Also, if there are any INTJ girls that can tell me what to watch out for, or "do"s and "don't"s, that would be interesting as well.


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## thewindlistens (Mar 12, 2009)

Strictly typologically, you both deal with the world using the same functions, so you should have no trouble understanding each other. Since you're the E and she's the I, give her space if she needs it, introverts can sometimes feel burned out from too much interaction.

I don't know, anything else I can think of is so generic it doesn't really have much to do with typology, just common sense.


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## NephilimAzrael (Oct 26, 2008)

Te is your primary, and Ni your secondary (conversely for her).

Given this:
I forward that the Kiersey titles of 'Field Marshal' and 'Mastermind' are appropriate.
Your desire for an efficient competency reflects the one who is responsible for contingent action and thus ensuring that the overall organisation of motivations, imperatives and action are maintained in everyday life. You are responsible for maintaining the logistics of your relationship. As with military operation, results are key to the structure of your traits. You place yourself on the front line and motivate yourself and your partner into taking the most effective measures in whatever you do. However, you may also mistake this for being correct. Whilst those who place their extroverted functions as primary in decision making, Es tend to disregard the underlying nuances in task orientation, therefore, results become superseded by motivation and manipulation.

Whilst in terms of the 'Mastermind' (or strategist).. The efficiency of results supersedes the overall processes by which they are achieved. The process is undertaken as a means rather than an ends, and this may cause Es to mistake the I's contemplation as inefficient at times. Using the military analogy again, the contrast comes from those who believe that initiative must manifest only in action. Your INTJ partner must respect you for your capacity to remain contingent, otherwise you would have easily been dismissed. And like the strategist, they respect those who are effective in achieving a level of exceptional competence on the field. The strategist can ultimately plan a maneuver that will produce results, they also are exacting in their strategum, but like anything theoretical, a pragmatic producer is required for strategies to come to fruition. INTJs are thorough in thought, but draw greater levels of orientation from the insight of their observations and knowledge. Hence they may place a greater deal of emphasis on acquiring all the knowledge before taking action (this is for overall efficacy rather than progressive efficacy- an E perspective).

In order to make these assessments, I assume that you view yourself as correct based on circumstantial evidence (arguments, principles, motives etc.) whilst your partner may view the world in an obscure fashion (by comparison to yourself).

What I can say as advice is; respect your partner's suggestions for action. These orders are not given lightly and if you are open to them, can produce results that you would not be able to achieve with any contrastive number of instances (missions).. Likewise, if you respect her ability to understand and investigate all those potentials, then she will respect your competency in contingency and initiative. Likewise, if you can respect that you are most probably inaccurate, then she can also accept the times in which she assumes too much based on theory and not enough practicality.

I hope this is helpful to you.


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## openedskittles (May 24, 2009)

Very interesting. Thank you.


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## vanWinchester (May 29, 2009)

Kay, let me see here *gets her chart out*
Ah, ENTJ - INTJ. 

~ Leave her much space, time and peace
~ do not ask her to do many things at once
~ compliment your partners ideas before you critisize / rate them
~ try to not be too much of a control-freak or a "know it all"
~ if you have a problem, tell it to your partner and make an *appointment* for a talk. Leave her enough time to think about solutions
~ if you have problems to keep the house clean and you can afford it, get some domestic help
~ feelings can be a tough topic, so try to keep that in mind and support each other

This is what my chart says. Now, I don't know what problems you have / COULD have, but you know better which advices to take serious and which not. 
Wish I could help you better, but I never had an ENTJ, so I can only rely to my chart.


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## mdawn (Mar 30, 2010)

IM AN INTJ GIRL!!! 

here's a few tips:

1. she needs her space. BUT she also needs to know that she is NEEDED
2. just because she picks an agrument with u, doesnt mean she knows she is right. alot of the times INTJs like to argu, simply for the sake of having an argument. we like to get our opinions out there. its how we tick
3. dont brag about things. INTJs hate petty, tedious forms of communication. VERY IMPORTANT. there is a fineline between bragging, and speaking of achievements or note-worthy situations. DONT BOAST
4. if your gf goes without talking for a little while, do not take it personally. INTJs need quiet time to think. we think alot. even about the smallest of things. dont mistake quietness for cockiness or anger. 
5. if your gf tells u that u are doing something wrong...you probably are. INTJs are very rational and logical. im not taking sides here bc im a girl....im being truthful. INTJs are normally right.
6. love her. INTJs may seem emotionless or numb...but actually...we do have a very deep need to feel needed and desired. always make sure you let your gf know that she is needed. INTJs dont WANT to be needed by many people. Just a select few


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## Bene Gesserit (Mar 20, 2010)

openedskittles said:


> That's what I am. What I'm wondering is what those of you who are more versed in typology think of this relationship. Also, if there are any INTJ girls that can tell me what to watch out for, or "do"s and "don't"s, that would be interesting as well.


 


Don't ever turn your back on her when she needs you :sad:​
Do forgive her for her flaws :happy:​
If you ask her to confide in you, and she do, then don't you ever call her paranoid !!!!:angry:​
Don't play with her mind when she is week ​
Don't use her pain as a game just to be the winner :angry:


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## PeevesOfCourse (Apr 15, 2010)

Respect her need for alone time. Give her space. And tell her that you appreciate and require her own skills too - be a team, consult her, don't drag her around by the nose or hair please. I had an ENTJ for a long time. His need for stimulation led him to start fights with me for no reason other than to get energy out of his relationship with me, which wasn't "giving" him enough of it.

We are still friendly. However, when I left, I created, passworded and set an obnoxious quavering dramatic Streisand "People Who Need People" screensaver to go off on his PC after every 5 minutes of inactivity. When he finally got ahold of me, he roared at me through the receiver "HOW DO I TURN THIS #&*T^$&*^%@^% THING OOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFF".


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## conformità (Mar 14, 2010)

openedskittles said:


> That's what I am. What I'm wondering is what those of you who are more versed in typology think of this relationship. Also, if there are any INTJ girls that can tell me what to watch out for, or "do"s and "don't"s, that would be interesting as well.


 
Be forgiving of her flaws 

be affectionate

be loving 

be understanding 

compliment her, reassure when needed not all the time 

make her laugh 

have fun together :tongue:


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## Boudica (May 2, 2010)

I tend to "push" just to see the reaction of the other person. Can I make them run or will they fight? Are they smart enough to see what I am doing? How much do they care? It's a type of "in the field real-time research'.


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## Vanitas (Dec 13, 2009)

Don't forget that she's around and/or that she's your girlfriend. INTJs are low maintenance compared to most other types, which makes it easy to forget that they need some attention once in awhile, too.


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## Bene Gesserit (Mar 20, 2010)

gypaetus said:


> Respect her need for alone time. Give her space. And tell her that you appreciate and require her own skills too - be a team, consult her, don't drag her around by the nose or hair please. I had an ENTJ for a long time. His need for stimulation led him to start fights with me for no reason other than to get energy out of his relationship with me, which wasn't "giving" him enough of it.".


True, I have that experience 



gypaetus said:


> We are still friendly. However, when I left, I created, passworded and set an obnoxious quavering dramatic Streisand "People Who Need People" screensaver to go off on his PC after every 5 minutes of inactivity. When he finally got ahold of me, he roared at me through the receiver "HOW DO I TURN THIS #&*T^$&*^%@^% THING OOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFF".


LOL, but I would never do that


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

I've seen it work..... pretty common I would say. Good luck.


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## Twisted (May 31, 2010)

Okay, last year my homeroom teach was ENTJ, when I'm INTJ, and she drove me crazy because we're so alike. You two will not work out for each other. I hated how she was like me with her opinions and independence and severity and all that. And the peppy E drove me crazzzzzy. I think I'll want an I when I find "the one", in my case. But, I dunno, it could be different for you two.


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## Ace1337 (Jun 29, 2010)

Here's an interesting article about entj intj relationships.


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