# SJ's:To pursue or to be pursued?



## Briggs (Aug 23, 2009)

I know it is suppose to be the male pursuing the female...though out of curiosity, I wanted to see if there was a preference or if it mattered one way or the other.

Thanks in advance!


----------



## WickedQueen (Jun 1, 2009)

I prefer to be pursued, although I'm confident enough to pursue. But since it seems that I often attracted to introverts, I always end up being the one who pursue.

I wish someone pursue me, so I would feel that I'm worthy enough for them.

Oh...... wait, few introvert guys did pursue me. Too bad they're not my type. :frustrating:


.


----------



## saslou (Sep 14, 2009)

I do prefer to pursue the man .. Which means no holds barred .. If i like you (going with gut instinct) then i am going to get you, in the nicest way possible, obviously. 

Although it would be great if he pursued me, meaning he really digs me, i think i would get rather nervous/anxious/shy over it.

It is more fun my way :laughing:


----------



## CallSignOWL (Jan 11, 2010)

I am a bit of a traditionalist, i suppose. I would like it if I was to be pursued, especially because i am so quiet and shy. I wouldn't know how to go about pursuing somebody else. I might drop little hints here and there that I like you, but I would be too afraid to go out on a limb and actually ask somebody out.:blushed:


----------



## HandiAce (Nov 27, 2009)

Pursue me, follow me and I'll be yours :laughing:

No seriously, I'm more judge-mental than that, but as an ISFJ, I'm in the women's boat in terms of having a relationship.


----------



## tinker683 (Nov 29, 2009)

HandiAce said:


> Pursue me, follow me and I'll be yours :laughing:
> 
> No seriously, I'm more judge-mental than that, but as an ISFJ, I'm in the women's boat in terms of having a relationship.


+1. I'm usually the one doing the pursuing, but I do love it when a woman comes after me. If I find out a woman is interested in me, and I like her, then I try to make it as easy as I possibly can for her.


----------



## WickedQueen (Jun 1, 2009)

So........ it seems like for the SJs, extrovert SJ is more likely to be the one who pursue?


.


----------



## Blissfulwish (Jul 7, 2009)

WickedQueen said:


> I prefer to be pursued, although I'm confident enough to pursue. But since it seems that I often attracted to introverts, I always end up being the one who pursue.
> 
> I wish someone pursue me, so I would feel that I'm worthy enough for them.
> 
> ...


Hmm, we seem to be polar opposites when it comes to who is doing the pursuing. I prefer to pursue but like the quote below this, I am a traditionalist and think that a man should do the pursuing. Though we are opposite in what we prefer, I believe that I agree with you on why you want someone to pursue you. Also! It's not that you are not worthy of them, most likely they feel they are not worthy of you ^_^



CallSignOWL said:


> I am a bit of a traditionalist, i suppose. I would like it if I was to be pursued, especially because i am so quiet and shy. I wouldn't know how to go about pursuing somebody else. I might drop little hints here and there that I like you, but I would be too afraid to go out on a limb and actually ask somebody out.:blushed:






WickedQueen said:


> So........ it seems like for the SJs, extrovert SJ is more likely to be the one who pursue?


I view view pursuing as a continuation of showing interest through effort. The person who makes the first move. 

Because I believe in only having eyes for 1 person, I can easily talk to someone without taking interest in them in a romantic way. Until they show me that they are attracted to me, I don't really think about being with them beforehand x_x. At the same time, I they show interest in me, and if I can get a grasp on what type of person they are, if they don't initiate further contact, then I might pursue them. But understand that they have to make it clear (through word or action) that they have interest in me first.


----------



## lishalee (Feb 8, 2010)

The first time I pursued, it turns out the guy was taken and no one told me :/

Another time, I was confused because he seemed interested in me but completely unresponsive to my efforts. I thought, why waste time? And gave up.

It's nice to be chased, but I've _never_ been pursued by someone I liked before, which is why I end up taking the reins and doing the legwork.


----------



## dasch (Dec 6, 2009)

in my case, I don't think that a male should always pursue a female, it always depends! I'm not traditional at all, it would depend on the situation. For example, if he's doing the decision making and it was meant to be for him to decide and if it's something that I can agree with, why not? but if it's something that's not even worth saying yes to then i'll take over, it depends. I've never looked at it as, let me take over or let him take over even though I want to take over because I always know whats better :tongue:


----------



## lantern (Feb 15, 2010)

I prefer to be pursued, also my 'E' is not strong as is my 'S' - might explain my shyness when I like somebody, but I don't show that I like somebody incase they don't like me back haha. So yeah, I am traditional, I like the man to pursue me. But never say never :laughing:


----------



## kept81213 (Dec 7, 2009)

hmmmm. I find for the most part that I am the pursuer. I really am attracted to more introverts though and so it makes it almost necessary for me to be the pursuer. I dated and ENFJ guy one time who pursued me, it was really fun at first, but then it got to be a little over bearing for me. So i would probably say that I prefer to be pursuer. However, although I dont like emotional pursuers, someone who's willing to be emotional with me first usually gets more of an emotional response from me next as long as there's no pressure. I find its the best when you pursue someone a little, and then they pursue you back a little etc. Then you're sort of both altering, but I would say i'm most likely the one to make the first move.


----------



## lantern (Feb 15, 2010)

haha I agree...I don't know what it is but I find myself playing a bit hard to get lol, so yes I do pursue a little I guess :laughing:


----------

