# Socionics Duality is constructed?



## Captain Mclain (Feb 22, 2014)

Information is obviously best handled by duals. But at the same time it seem that information do not bear that much value in love relationships as one might believe. 

It just do not seem to be a natural choice of friends and love relationships to pick your dual unless you studied Socionics.


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## Valtire (Jan 1, 2014)

I don't see many dual relationships and I also don't see many happy relationships. Just because dual relations don't start easily or often, does not mean that they aren't generally the superior relations.

I have had two dual friendships, and both have been amazing.


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## Captain Mclain (Feb 22, 2014)

Fried Eggz said:


> I don't see many dual relationships and I also don't see many happy relationships. Just because dual relations don't start easily or often, does not mean that they aren't generally the superior relations.
> 
> I have had two dual friendships, and both have been amazing.


Most people have no idea what to look for and tend to go by 'what can this person give me' and not 'what can we as a couple accomplish'. Looks like it from my pov. In my area what seem to be the case is that 1. people go for same type 2. type of same strength, eg, sensors with sensors 3. I know 2 brothers who both are in benefit relations so seems they went for the same thing. Also some people pick someone who have a similar look as themselves and/or as people who given them good experiences in the past. 

Socionics is like rocket-science of relations.


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## Helios (May 30, 2012)

Captain Mclain said:


> Information is obviously best handled by duals. But at the same time it seem that information do not bear that much value in love relationships as one might believe.
> 
> It just do not seem to be a natural choice of friends and love relationships to pick your dual unless you studied Socionics.



I think that even though in theory duality should be the most ideal relationship, there are many more reasons why people don't end up with their duals in most relationships. Additionally I don't think that duality is necessarily the best romantic relationship or friendship, but communication between your dual and yourself might be much less challenging than trying to reach your conflict or or someone in your opposing quadra. Duality is obviously a constructed notion since it involves how two people who are both strong on what the other lacks can come together to produce some whole, completed psyche. I think that duality works better for people who want a relationship with someone who will complete them in a comfortably challenging way rather than someone who won't necessarily complete them but will offer something more challenging.

I think there is something to the patterns described in the dual relation but how well or how superior a relation depends on a person's beliefs about relationships, how they behave according to them, and how the other party involved will react to this person.


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## Kyusaku (Mar 18, 2014)

Fried Eggz said:


> I don't see many dual relationships and I also don't see many happy relationships. Just because dual relations don't start easily or often, does not mean that they aren't generally the superior relations.
> 
> I have had two dual friendships, and both have been amazing.


Differences in communication is the biggest problem duals face in my experience. It requires a leap of faith at some point, because both duals are so different it's logical to think that the other won't understand or react favorably to your core personality. The stakes are high, as your dual seeking is making you restless, craving for more interactions, it can be rather uncomfortable as you don't always know how to maintain it's steady supply. Duality requires you to be brave and bold, yet all your flaws lie in bare sight for your dual to see. It's as challenging as it is rewarding. Most people don't want challenge, they simply take what they get and learn to be satisfied with what they have.


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## Captain Mclain (Feb 22, 2014)

Kyusaku said:


> Differences in communication is the biggest problem duals face in my experience. It requires a leap of faith at some point, because both duals are so different it's logical to think that the other won't understand or react favorably to your core personality. The stakes are high, as your dual seeking is making you restless, craving for more interactions, it can be rather uncomfortable as you don't always know how to maintain it's steady supply. Duality requires you to be brave and bold, yet all your flaws lie in bare sight for your dual to see. It's as challenging as it is rewarding. Most people don't want challenge, they simply take what they get and learn to be satisfied with what they have.


If all your dual see in you is your flaws, what make it desirable from the perspective of someone who only see other people get together and grasping for people being same-same?

I know 3 same type relationships in my close environment, all delta also and one mirror delta. That pattern is clear.


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## Valtire (Jan 1, 2014)

Kyusaku said:


> Duality requires you to be brave and bold, yet all your flaws lie in bare sight for your dual to see.


I don't see how that's a problem. Your strengths are also very apparent, and are highly appreciated.


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## Captain Mclain (Feb 22, 2014)

Fried Eggz said:


> I don't see how that's a problem. Your strengths are also very apparent, and are highly appreciated.


Only when applied specifically to help that other person or work in that duals favor. Just to view it from a distance might actually work opposite?


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## Seamaid (Aug 31, 2009)

My dual is LSE. I can think of several reasons why LSE-EII would clash. I read somewhere that LSEs need people around them even to relax, and as a hermit-like EII that just made my skin crawl. Also their Te can sting pretty badly -- unhealthy Te/Fi can come off unbelievably narcissistic. Also LSEs can be domineering, "take charge" -- and I don't think that would always go well with me if I want something done my way. It probably isn't always the case, but other relations such as Activity sound a lot more comfortable while still challenging you to use your lower 2 functions, and you don't struggle to maintain your autonomy while in the relationship. Dom-Tert is reinforced, the Aux gets developed to meet the Dual-seeking function of your Activity partner. Strengthening the Aux I find also strengthens the Inferior, since they work together.


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## Valtire (Jan 1, 2014)

Captain Mclain said:


> Only when applied specifically to help that other person or work in that duals favor. Just to view it from a distance might actually work opposite?


Why would it? That makes no sense to me.

Fe-doms will draw me in regardless of whether or not they're directing it at me, because I want them to direct it at me.


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