# When do You Share Your Feelings and With Whom?



## ENTJGirlLA (Oct 29, 2013)

XDS said:


> Are you more comfortable sharing touchy-feely stuff right after an emotionally stirring event or do you usually need a few days to find the right way to express yourself? Would you rather talk about how things affect you emotionally with someone you know well or a complete stranger you'll never see again? Do you tend to be more emotive when you're happy and repress your emotions when you're sad?


I'll get more touchy-feely when I am stirred and be more empathetic of other's emotions because in that period I know what they are feeling (for a change).

I tend to try to make sense of my emotions when I am sad and let people know when I am happy.

I will share how I feel readily with anyone, but let me clarify something for feelers - it's not the feeling you're talking about. It is ready sharing of Te processing of feelings. It'll come across to you more like sharing my rational opinion on an emotional issue. This will include talking about the darker side of my life. Example: Got broken up with. I will readily tell you how it didn't work, what I miss, what I plan to do or not do, what I think about relationships in general, what I learned, and how I'll deal with things like it in the future. That is, most of the time, and this may be hard to understand, _how I feel._ I'll even tell you I cried for two days and it really hurt. But I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm looking for advice and solutions if I tell you something like this - for feelings processed through Te. When I tell me T friends about a problem, they think through it with me, and with me F friends, they sympathize. And I fucking hate sympathy. Nothing makes you feel worse than someone else feeling bad for you.

If I'm truly going through something and can't process it through logic, I'll want to be alone to get through it and only see people to engage in things that distract me. Follow-up from previous example, I couldn't seem to shake him (normally Te would be enough to move on) and I finally told my best friend how I feel in the more traditional sense - the emotionally vulnerable sense. In this very, very rare case, I just wanted her to listen and _very selectively_ give advice - maybe one piece of advice because in that situation I'm looking for a comforting thought to latch onto. It's a fine line between feelings processed through Te, with which I'm looking to brainstorm or crowdsource ideas, and true Fi, where I just want to be understood and to know it'll be better and _exactly _what to do...not just a bunch of ideas. It's also worth noting that I still don't want sympathy as an F might. In this case, her knowing me better than anyone else on the planet, listened to me for hours, gave me one piece of advice and forced me to follow through, even when I was snappy about it. And it worked. 

So there's a guidebook on understanding and communicating about the feelings of an ENTJ. Feelers take note.


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