# ESTJ's for dummies: A manual



## BadassISTJ (Nov 10, 2013)

*Copied this from Curlyque (ISTJ's for dummies: A manual)*

Hey guys! I figured that we could put together a users manual for people so that people can use this information to better understand their ESTJ. I will ask some questions and hopefully you guys can answer. While everyone is an individual, maybe there will be some kind of pattern that can be used to for the manual.

1. How are you in relationships? 

2. How do you do in conversations?

3. What are your emotional needs?

4. What are your physical needs? (I.e, lots of freedom, etc)

5.How are you in social settings? 

6. How are you when you are upset?

7. How are you when sad/stressed?

8. What is your love language? 

9a. Do you like being alone?

9b. What do you do for fun?

10. What are your strengths/weaknesses? 

11. How to get on your good side?

12. What do you value the most?

13. What do you feel like is the biggest misconception of your type?

14. Bottom line about ESTJs?


Thanks in advance!


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

* 1. How are you in friendships? *

I'm all right, getting better. On the upside, I am very easy going and laid back in friendships; I like to have fun and I like to share that fun with others. I enjoy nothing more in a relationship than making others laugh. On the downside, if a friendship starts to head south, I tend to withdraw. I don't mind the occasional low note in a relationship, but when all the notes are low and there is nothing you can do to fix it...I don't stick around. In that regard, I've been seen as having very limited loyalty.

* 2. How do you do in conversations?*

Excellent. I'm a good conversationalist, even if the subject material is uninteresting and/or I feel no connection to the person I'm talking with. I think being a good conversationalist is more of a learned skill than an MBTI trait. Different MBTI types might start at different stages, but being a good conversationalist takes effort and practice. It's not usually something that just happens.

* 3. What are your emotional needs?*

My emotional needs list is pretty short. Every once in awhile, when I'm really struggling, I need someone to acknowledge the struggle with an act. Could be as simple as getting me a cup of water when I'm sweating in an afternoon sun. 

That sort of kindness, the act of someone doing something for me they didn't have to do, is more moving and inspiring than anything. It's just soul shaking. Seriously, I struggle not to break down in tears every time it happens. It's really embarrassing to cry over a cup of water. >:| (here's looking at you, @Pinion)
*
4. What are your physical needs? (I.e, lots of freedom, etc)*

Food, shelter, water...oh wait, is that too ETSJ a response? 

I like freedom. Not in the "I hate a regular schedule" sort of way. Just an "I want my personal time to be used how I choose" sort of way. 
*
5.How are you in social settings? *

Fine. I'm very polite and mindful of others in social settings. I tend to think of others first. It irritates the hell out of me when someone ignores basic social protocol; if you're at your own house, go for it. If you're with others, your time is also their time. 

Sometimes, though, if I'm not feeling particularly willing, I will be a bit short on the conversation side of social activity. I won't keep a conversation going or smooth over awkward pauses for others. I'll just give short answers and let others squirm. This stems more from the fact that sometimes I just get tired of people depending on me to keep a conversation moving (and I can tell when others are expecting me to cover for them).

* 6. How are you when you are upset?*

Not including when I lose my temper, I go from 0 to 120 in the span of half a second, and then promptly shut down two or three seconds later. I don't like getting upset with others because I have a VERY slow recovery rate.

In general, I'll just wall myself off from others until I've gotten over whatever has made me upset. My emotions are mine to deal with, so I deal with them privately.
*
7. How are you when sad/stressed?*

Sad: I don't know. Sad, I guess? I'm only sad in private, so it's not really something I can explain.

Stressed: Not very nice. Cold, sharp, cutting. That sort of thing. 
*
8. What is your love language? *

Acts. I do things for people I love. To me, time is one of the most valuable commodities a person has. To use that towards someone else...that is so powerful. It's such a sign of love to me. 

* 9a. Do you like being alone?*

By and large, no. I don't enjoy being alone for long periods of time. That said, I do need my space. I can get very fed up with others after awhile.

* 9b. What do you do for fun?*

Hike. Travel to other countries. Travel around in my own country. Kayak, paddle board (it's dorky, but sometimes the kayaks have all been taken at the rent shop), try new restaurants, take classes in subjects I'm interested in, watch films, read.

When things are more financially comfortable, I'll add MMA, dance, and (later) some parkour to my ever expanding lists of interests.
*
10. What are your strengths/weaknesses? *

Strengths: I will do whatever I can to help someone I care about. If there is a way to fix the problem upsetting them, I'll do it. I am a fixer by nature, and I want to help fix those things that upset others. 

Weaknesses: Quick to anger. I don't have many buttons anymore, but when the few I do have are pushed, there's no middle ground. 

* 11. How to get on your good side?*

Don't be close minded. People who refuse to try new experiences bug the hell out of me. Also, people who can't handle a difference of opinion bother me. If it's something we can't agree on, just drop it and find other things we do have in common. 

That said, have an opinion. Doesn't mean you have to be a jerk about your opinion. But for the love of God, have one. It's a horrible feeling when someone constantly says "I don't care, you decide" in a friendship. 

* 12. What do you value the most?*

Personal responsibility.

* 13. What do you feel like is the biggest misconception of your type?*

That we're all heartless, demanding, unyielding control freaks. Sure, sometimes it's true. But not really, unless you've done something to show you aren't trustworthy and we're still somehow stuck with you.

People focus on the negative, blow it out of proportion, and then equate it with the ESTJ type as a whole. 

* 14. Bottom line about ESTJs?*

We're cool people. We just tend to play life a little more like a video game with one life instead of multiple.


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## Pinion (Jul 31, 2013)

@Marlowe You can't fool me, Si-aux. It was :|


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## Pinina (Jan 6, 2015)

*1. How are you in relationships? *
Well, relationships. Like romantic relationships, it's kinda dead at that front. Well, I like people, but I'm not sure they like me....  When it comes to friends, I'll have a better answer. I might be a bit boring from time to time, but I'd say I'm a pretty good friend. (That's at least what people have told me.) May be a bit too blunt I guess. Loyal, maybe a bit too protective, care a lot about them. 

*2. How do you do in conversations?*
Good, very good. Not as good if I don't know the person, then I tend to run out of things to talk about. But if I have something to talk about, I'm able to keep the conversation going. 

*3. What are your emotional needs?*
I need friends. (Okey, clitché.) But I need someone to talk to, and people being around me (if not, I'll shoot someone, and if it's just me around, well then I have a problem....) Might go in a bit on the physical needs though. I feel a need to take care of people. And to be taken care of when needed. I feel a need to be usefull as well. 

*4. What are your physical needs? (I.e, lots of freedom, etc)*
I need to talk to people, and I have a need to be around people. And I need to touch people (Not in that way!) like hugs and stuff. Food, water. Not that interested in sleep, even though I kinda need it. And responsibility. If someone restricts my responibility, they're mean. 

*Might confuse 3 and 4, not sure about that. *

*5.How are you in social settings? *
Good. On big parties and stuff, I tend to speak more to people I know. I'm fine with speaking with other people, but I don't engage in it naturualy. Guess that has something to do with me being a bit shy, and being pressed in to that role for a couple of years,ending about a year ago. But I for sure enjoy myself, even more if I speak to people I don't know (so why don't I just start talking to them? Well, whatever..)

*6. How are you when you are upset?*
About to explode. When I'm angry, I can explode fairly easy. Most of the time though, I get more distanced and have a more "angry" answer to people, easily seing faults in what they do and telling them. Guess it's the dark side of and ESTJ pretty much. 

*7. How are you when sad/stressed?*
Stressed, the ESTJ stereotypes as much as possible. Angry, too focused, tells everyone what to do. Might take on too much to do as well, since I can trust myself more than I can trust others. When I'm sad, I distance myself and hope someone will talk to me so I can talk to them about what makes me sad. Pretty much. Or transform it into anger and go to my punshing bag. 

*8. What is your love language? *
Quality time, followed closely by physical touch. Is there anything more to say?

*9a. Do you like being alone?*
Nope.

Well, maybe for half an hour, but not more. 

*9b. What do you do for fun?*
Go boxing. Recently made a couple of swords so me and my dad could fight. That kind of things. Talk to (mostly meeting though, prefare that) my friends. Discuss theology. Go camping. But fighting is probably highest. 

*10. What are your strengths/weaknesses? *
Focused. I can see the needs of people. Talkative. Tend to see the good in people. I never give up. Like ever. Love debating (does that count?) 

Well, bad things. (Yes, I have those as well.) Too focused sometimes. Bad at engaging in conversations with people I don't know. May ignore internal needs such as hunger and sickness. 

*11. How to get on your good side?*
Being honest. Having an opinion. Being able to back up the opinion (doesn't have to be with facts, but it has to be a reason). No sloppy characteristics, can't handle that. Being nice/cute never hurts. Stand up for what you believe in. Respectful. I don't understand how people don't have a goal with their life, or princips to live by. 

*12. What do you value the most?*
Friendship. Values in general. (Yes, I value values...) Responsibility. Freedom. And when people excpect things from me. 

*13. What do you feel like is the biggest misconception of your type?*
That we're mean. I mean, we're absolutely not. That we're traditional over everything else. Okey, Si, we compare with former experiences. But I'd never do sometething just because "it's a tradition" or "that's how we've done it before", I need a reason to do it, and a good one. But mostly the mean thing. Cause we (I) aint mean by any means.


*14. Bottom line about ESTJs?*
We're not as bad as people think we are. We're actually pretty nice.


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