# Is Singing and Playing Piano a Good Tactic for Asking a Girl Out?



## SamTheMediocre (Mar 7, 2013)

Hello everyone, I've posted something similar to this on other boards but it has come of no avail and sort of been buried. Anyways, I need some advice. I have been talking to this girl for a very long time. Three years if I'm being honest. Anyways, I am at the point where I think I should ask her out, but I'm not sure if the method I'm using is a bit too much. She has an amazing piano at her place and I often play it for her. My idea was to play and sing Frank Sinatra's "Fly Me to the Moon" and include the question somewhere in the song. Is that too much? Is it okay? I'm an INTP which in many circles is short for "a robot without the ability to show emotion." In the past when asking a girl out I've tried asking directly and I almost threw up due to anxiety. I've also tried writing a letter. That girl hasn't spoken with me since she read the letter 2 years ago. So I believe that my anxiety over screwing up is justifiable. Seeing as I am a musician and can communicate through it, I thought this seemed like a good plan. That said, some have called it over kill, and I honestly don't know if I should do it. What do you guys think? I honestly don't know if it'll factor into anything, but I know she's an MBTI ENTP if that changes things. (I don't really know if it matters) Thanks for reading all of this and for any thoughts that you share.


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## Chamberlain (Dec 28, 2012)

........

Why don't just say "hey, want to go out with me?" and suggest a time and place.


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## planetanarchy (Aug 10, 2013)

when you like someone don't wait, especially three years. you did write her that letter and she stopped talking to you, should be your answer. You're also both really really young, @17 you're still growing up and figuring things out ( and so is she). she might not even knows what she wants, and if she doesn't know if she wants you or not... why waste time. hope you don't return here in a few years with a fedora wearing deerhead instead of a tophat <3 good luck.


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## planetanarchy (Aug 10, 2013)

wait it's a different girl? yeah totally charm her with serenading her, lol. it's not "too much".


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## Garek (Mar 12, 2015)

Like @planetanarchy said, don't wait, do charm. What exactly are you going to ask in the song?


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## SamTheMediocre (Mar 7, 2013)

I'm intending to ask her to be my girlfriend. I did something very similar asking her to prom last year and it worked for that. Different atmosphere, same idea. That said, a lot of people here on PerCafe have suggested I do something far more low key. Essentially anything but this.


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## aef8234 (Feb 18, 2012)

Anything not primarily involving words is a bit too extravagant for a first date.


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## In_The_Fade (Jun 8, 2012)

What was the similar thing you did to ask her to prom? Did you throw the question into a different song you played her or something like that?


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## TheEpicPolymath (Dec 5, 2014)

Yes, it might help, but asking her out is better.


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## SamTheMediocre (Mar 7, 2013)

I sang and tossed the question into the lyrics. I ended up just asking her on the golf course. Had a date the next day, so things went well.


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## EndsOfTheEarth (Mar 14, 2015)

Well if it floats your boat, Mr Elaborate go ahead. She might find it really cute, or the charm of it might not be so great second time around. Girls don't need gimmicks to like a guy, and if she likes you anyway then gimmicks are a waste of time. I'd just go ahead and ask her to be your girlfriend without the piano. But then....I'm not much of a romantic anyway.


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## In_The_Fade (Jun 8, 2012)

Hmmm... you seem to really want to go ahead with this, so my comment is that if enough time has passed since you did it the first time, you could do it this time with a "remember when I did this" comment in the lyrics. If I were the one being sung to I'd prefer that you were self-aware about the fact you're repeating the same gimmick and might find it funny, rather than if you just played it straight and expected me to be just as thrilled the second time round as the first... that could seem more unoriginal... like you'd have one joke that you're going to be telling over and over again for the rest of my life if I agree to go out with you haha. Then again I'm not her and you know her better than anyone offering you advice in this thread so just go with your gut. Let us know how you go if you like.


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## TheEpicPolymath (Dec 5, 2014)

In one word No.


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## koalaroo (Nov 25, 2011)

If a guy did this, I would reject him flat out. Sorry.


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## EchoEnola (Oct 28, 2014)

Ok so... here's the thing: 

If this is what you do and how you're comfortable then yes, go for it. Why? Because in the end (if it's the right girl) she's going to appreciate the quirky things you do. If she doesn't respond well to it, then keep looking for your girl.

Personally I'd think it was adorable, but I'm a musician and a theater geek... so yea.

I think some people are picturing this kind of thing:


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## koalaroo (Nov 25, 2011)

EchoEnola said:


> Ok so... here's the thing:
> 
> If this is what you do and how you're comfortable then yes, go for it. Why? Because in the end (if it's the right girl) she's going to appreciate the quirky things you do. If she doesn't respond well to it, then keep looking for your girl.
> 
> ...


That's not what I'm picturing. 

The entire concept of a guy singing a song to me while playing the piano would just be over-the-top.

If you want to date me, ask me out. Don't go through stupid, elaborate shenanigans to get my attention. I just think you're an attention whore at that point.


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## Impavida (Dec 29, 2011)

I'm with @koalaroo For me, this sort of thing is over-the-top and a total turnoff. My ex-husband used to pull these ridiculous stunts all the time and it was just embarrassing.


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## HeartCartography (Mar 23, 2015)

Like Dr. Phil always says (are you still here  "The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour".

It worked before and she likes you playing for her. It sounds like she is 'into you'. This kind of thing would work for me if I was already into the guy in question. You are a musician and girl's tend to dig musician's...you have that going for you. That you are a songwriter ups that ante.

Most importantly there is something in you that inherently feels the urge to do it. In life the best wins are when we authentically be ourselves. If she says yes, she is agreeing to date YOU the guy who likes to do this sort of thing. That's good. You are a match.

Hope it works out for you!


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## chanteuse (May 30, 2014)

Everyone reacts to over the top differently. It tends to embarrassed me not in a good way.

However, as a woman on the receiving end of being asked out, I don't care what ways as long as I like you enough I'd say yes. If not, you can hire Beyonce to sing a song in front of me i'd still say no thanks.


IMO the worst is the ball game proposal on the giant tron. It's almost like forcing someone's hand. I don't think the guys I've dated would ever do something so stupid if they knew me.


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## Notus Asphodelus (Jan 20, 2015)

Who doesn't like a guy who plays a piano as long as he's not playing it badly?


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## Morgoth (Sep 12, 2014)

That's very brave and incredibly nice of you. But if I were you, I'd just go ahead and ask, make it clear what you think of her and what you would like most from the relationship, try not to send mixed signals and be confident. 

If you're not too keen on asking outright or too bluntly, devise a way to ease into it, but make it clear, don't half-commit to asking either make sure your purpose is clear.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

SamTheMediocre said:


> Hello everyone, I've posted something similar to this on other boards but it has come of no avail and sort of been buried. Anyways, I need some advice. I have been talking to this girl for a very long time. Three years if I'm being honest. Anyways, I am at the point where I think I should ask her out, but I'm not sure if the method I'm using is a bit too much. She has an amazing piano at her place and I often play it for her. My idea was to play and sing Frank Sinatra's "Fly Me to the Moon" and include the question somewhere in the song. Is that too much? Is it okay? I'm an INTP which in many circles is short for "a robot without the ability to show emotion." In the past when asking a girl out I've tried asking directly and I almost threw up due to anxiety. I've also tried writing a letter. That girl hasn't spoken with me since she read the letter 2 years ago. So I believe that my anxiety over screwing up is justifiable. Seeing as I am a musician and can communicate through it, I thought this seemed like a good plan. That said, some have called it over kill, and I honestly don't know if I should do it. What do you guys think? I honestly don't know if it'll factor into anything, but I know she's an MBTI ENTP if that changes things. (I don't really know if it matters) Thanks for reading all of this and for any thoughts that you share.


I have no idea how well it would work on an ENTP. If she were an INFP, I would say that it is very likely to work, because that's the sort of thing we are generally really into.


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## SamTheMediocre (Mar 7, 2013)

Thanks for the advice everyone! Something that I should clarify just in case this is throwing people off, is that were I to go through with this plan (Which I may just hold off on and use to ask her out to prom or something along those lines) is that I would do it at her place. It wouldn't be some big, over the top, public thing. I frankly don't have the chutzpah to pull that off. I've began to think that something along the lines of asking her out with a hand written letter would be more appropriate. It's personal yet not too difficult, and at the same time it would show that I put though into it and cared about how I went about it? I have admittedly had some issues with this strategy in the past, but the circumstances were significantly different.


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## aef8234 (Feb 18, 2012)

It's been ... like 2-ish weeks, does it really take this long to ask someone out?


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## SamTheMediocre (Mar 7, 2013)

It does when they've been out of the country the past two weeks.


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## HeartCartography (Mar 23, 2015)

I am on board with both options @SamTheMediocre 

The only reason the first letter experience wasn't positive was because the girl either did not return your affections or was overwhelmed by the gesture or had her own personal circumstances. 

In the first instance Yay! because you do not want someone who does not appreciate wonderful yourself and it has allowed you to meet present girl. In the second, if your inclination is to write EVERYTHING you feel, perhaps edit a little so as not to overwhelm. In the third, beyond your control


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## Swede (Apr 2, 2013)

@_SamTheMediocre_, if this is who you are then - yes, play the piano. Why pretend you are someone who you aren't? If you really like this girl and you want it to work out, you need her to accept and like you for who you are.
On the other hand, if you are just working on a strategy for getting her to say yes, then it may be time to reevaluate.
Personally, I would probably be uneasy about the piano approach, but I'm an INTJ so romance tends to make me a bit uncomfortable.

Second - no, don't write a letter. If you can't verbally communicate with her, you have a problem. The biggest piece of what makes relationships successful is communication - that is the key. The letter thing is has too much of a middle school feeling, IMO.

It reminds me of young people who got pregnant because they were too embarrassed to talk about protection - that means that they were not ready to have sex - it's that simple.


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