# Adults Versus Teenagers! Who's Right?



## dedosdepie (Jan 12, 2014)

I've noticed that many adults tend to have a condescending view towards the thoughts of teenagers. By this I mean things like teen angst, being melodramatic, strong individualism, and being idealistic. For the average teenager, this manifests itself in having relationship drama and wanting to fit in with his peers. For others, its things like existential depression. I realized that the causes of these may be accounted for by a lack of experience in the real world and biological reasons, like hormones and brain development.
I then thought about how most people tend to slowly abandon their idealistic thoughts after leaving college, and come to accept the world the way it is. 

Ruminating over this topic had convinced me that my thoughts and ideas are illegitimate because I'm probably going to grow out of them sooner or later. I tried to purge myself of all of the characteristics listed earlier because I didn't want to perceive myself as being immature. I didn't want to waste time developing ideas if I didn't have enough real world experience to compensate. I actually considered not writing this post because I know that if I read this 5 years from now it would make me want to punch myself in the face. 

So my choices are:

1. Develop my own ideas but face profound self doubt.
2. ???

I guess the irony is that tone of this post encompasses all of the characteristics I mentioned in the beginning of this. Hahahahahaha oh well.


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## AddictiveMuse (Nov 14, 2013)

Are adults right in giving a teenagers views no thought? 
see you're going to have to define what you mean by: right
I think that if you have condescending views towards the thoughts of anybody, of any stage or status
*that is wrong*..but that's going of morals here, you obviously mean the objective meaning of right.

hmm interesting question I keep on wanting to reply to it with my first answer, well yes the teenager hasn't developed any experiences to back their views, *so yes I guess the adults are right* (their views towards teenage thinking) *but the teens still have a point*, I guess in this situation nobody really is right..*all this shows is the innocence and passion that is lost with growing up*, it's actually quite a depressing thought especially that they learn to *accept* the world as it is...*if the only thing we learn from growing up is that you can't change the world, you can't make a difference and that's it's never going to change*..it seriously makes me question things.

Damn this is really showing how young and naive I am, isn't it?


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## Hidden from Sight (Jan 3, 2014)

I believe one is mature by the time they've formulated their own worldview, and not by the time they've accepted the "normal" worldview. If only most people had this similar idea...


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## FakeLefty (Aug 19, 2013)

Neither are always right. And either can be right at certain situations.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

Being an idealist is not immature. Some of us remain this way for life, and it is a difficult accomplishment in a world that tries so hard to make us bitter and hopeless. The adults who grew out of it may look down on those who still have it, but I think in some cases it is because they secretly wish their passions hadn't been stolen from them. They give up as a means to cope with being forced to sell out in order to survive, and they assume everyone else will do the same eventually. That is why the progress of each generation is hindered by the stubbornness of the previous one. People cling to traditions instead of continuing to try to change things, because they feel overpowered, weak, helpless, and they lose their souls when the effort to maintain the things that matter becomes more inconvenient than they can bear. When it happens, they believe their apathy makes them wiser and more mature, and they impose their new standard on everyone around them. It is a form of burnout. We can fight it, and we should.

The teenagers deserve more respect than they receive. They are forming the values they will carry with them in some form for the rest of their lives, becoming who they are, and learning to assert themselves in ways that have the potential to make them strong advocates for positive change as they grow more confident in their beliefs and become more skilled at promoting their ideas. If there were nobody to discourage them, imagine how much faster that change would happen.

Here is a drawing I made about this topic several years ago:


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## dedosdepie (Jan 12, 2014)

Thanks for the replies. I guess it's also important to remember that regardless of age, most people have a pretty limited worldview.


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## Glenda Gnome Starr (May 12, 2011)

Adults and teens are both right... or both wrong... they may see the world in different ways... and being right is very subjective, depending on how you're viewing the world. In my opinion, the key is listening for both parties. Adults need to listen more to teenagers, and teenagers need to listen more to adults. 
Here is an idea of how to make that happen:
A shared journal that an adult and a teenager (parent, uncle, aunt, etc. to the teenager) can use to communicate their ideas and their feelings. There need to be some ground rules, which would include no personal attacks and no condescension. The journal needs to be kept with the concept of mutual respect always in mind. It should also be private, so that only the people writing in it can have access to it. If done well, this can be a bonding experience for both, and both can learn a lot about empathy and understanding. And, yes, people do have a limited world view but it can be expanded if you could only experience the world through someone else's viewpoint.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

There is a lot of wisdom that comes with age, can't dismiss that.


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## JustBob31459 (Apr 7, 2014)

Promethea said:


> There is a lot of wisdom that comes with age, can't dismiss that.


And there is alot of narrow mindedness that comes with age too.

Point is, parents need to be a little condencendant and a teen needs to rebel against it; it the natural way to develop a personality.


_
"N'oubliez Jamais", I heard my father say
Every generation has it's way
A need to disobey
N'oubliez Jamais, it's in your destiny
A need to disagree
When rules get in the way
N'oubliez Jamais

Joe Cocker - N'oubliez Jamais _


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

Scianto said:


> And there is alot of narrow mindedness that comes with age too.
> 
> Point is, parents need to be a little condencendant and a teen needs to rebel against it; it the natural way to develop a personality.
> 
> ...


Its narrow-minded to assume all adults are narrow-minded. 

Plenty of narrow-minded youths, and very open-minded adults. 

Sure, there are 16 yr old geniuses out there, but compare that to a 46 yr old whos on the same intelligence level, with the added 30 years extra life experience. The only thing the 46 yr old wouldn't have as an advantage is youthful health, but there are even exceptions to that.


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## JustBob31459 (Apr 7, 2014)

@Promethea

you twist my words. Saying that alot of narrow mindedness comes with age does neither imply that it affects everyone nor does alot equals all. But maybe I had better worded it differently to avoid confusion.


@dedosdepie
Thing is; rebelling is the thing a child should do; it's healthy to question your parents. And to further adress the opening question, yes even if you feel self doubt. doubting yourself is a sign of openness and cleverness in a sense. the most enjoyable people I know doubt themselves no matter what age.
As long as you don't let the doubt overcome you. It is a balance between questioning yourself and being insecure. You never going to be always right. But that is not the point. The point is trying to make the best decisions you can with the knowledge you currently posses, and you must be able to stand behind them. If you turned out to be wrong then, you might feel stupid, but instead you should feel human. Learn from it and move on.
Don't stand still too long by the things you did wrong, cherish the things you did right; know every choice is half chance and just live. Don't over-analyse it.


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

Hidden from Sight said:


> One is mature by the time they've formulated their own worldview, and not by the time they've accepted the "normal" worldview.


I love that line.

---

I don't see why one should give up idealistic viewpoints. Look at your average adult and tell me how many of them are even making changes? Tell me how many of them have "accepted" the reality of the world.

Look at all the people who have made changes in the world, and tell me how many of them accepted the normalcy of the world. 

The only thing reality is good for is placing idealism in a workable place--not by making it extinct. Meaning, you have to find a golden mean--as Aristotle suggested--for how idealistic and realistic your worldview should be. Picking one or the other is not very useful.

---

The world will always need those who make changes, and those who follow the changes; you will just have to decide which one you wish to be.


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## Scruffy (Aug 17, 2009)

Your brain is still pruning out the shit you had at birth during your teenage years, changing to an adult brain. I would consider adult brains more reliable than teenage brains due to the unstable nature of such pruning.


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## 626Stitch (Oct 22, 2010)

I think as people age they develop a worldview that either challenges themselves or it doesnt. So some adults have a self justifying worldview which protects their own egos while others are more open and realise other people have a lot to offer.


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## Doc Dangerstein (Mar 8, 2013)

... can anyone provide me with a convincing rational argument that intelligence, ethics and knowledge increases with age? There is a world of a difference between a curious sixteen year old who reads philosophy, is aware of what is happening in the world and partakes in discussion, tinkers with science and maintains an active mind and body and forty year old who sits on the porch drinking beer wishing that he still had the metabolism to have sex and the physique to start a bar fight. The question is not whether you're an intellectual, idealist or work in a trade. The question is of allowing yourself to vegetate, of allowing yourself to become a miser, a bigot, a dreadful bore regardless if you're fifteen or seventy. If wisdom is truly a function of age than I really can't see it. 

The argument from experience falls apart considering that a person may be well versed and experienced in one area and not another. And if wisdom is to be gained from experience, a drunk who sits on his front stoop all afternoon is only seen as wise by those who aspire to be like the drunk in question. The only thing this world view maintains is the distribution of power, wealth and opportunity and a relationship of dominance and submission. Not my cup of tea at sixteen, and certainly not my cup of tea at thirty five. Maybe I'm more of an idealist now than before or perhaps it's coming to my awareness as my teenage years were surprisingly peaceful and rather pleasant. Or maybe I've grown more confident and proficient in the English language to speak my thoughts. 

The reverse is also true as there are amazing seniors and teenagers who are contenders for douchebag of the year award. Considering one is in perfect health, an adult may have the advantage of hormonal stability and therefore be less susceptible to mood changes.


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## XZ9 (Nov 16, 2013)

Adults often say they're older and experienced. What is it that I can't learn by reading self-help books?


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## Bahburah (Jul 25, 2013)

I'd say teens for sure because they have less of a restrictive thought process are are more raw.

Teens also have Fluid Intelligence which is much more adaptable and ready to learn new things and look at things differently.

While adults have Crystallized Intelligence which is more concrete and is more likely to reflect on experience than look for new ways of doing something.


A great imagination is all you really need.


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## xBiophagex (Dec 23, 2011)

Antipode said:


> I don't see why one should give up idealistic viewpoints. Look at your average adult and tell me how many of them are even making changes? Tell me how many of them have "accepted" the reality of the world.


'Idealistic viewpoints' is just another term for 'belief without proof'.


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## Moss Icon (Mar 29, 2011)

Being "right" is a matter entirely dependant on the issue at hand. Not the people.


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## JustBob31459 (Apr 7, 2014)

Great_Thinker said:


> Adults often say they're older and experienced. What is it that I can't learn by reading self-help books?


The actual getting around to doing things and finding out that reading depends on what you already know in some sense, while doing you gain some genuine new experiences you can use in your ponderings?

I could elaborate greatly on this, but meh, just try


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