# First sex



## stargazing grasshopper (Oct 25, 2013)

Slider said:


> I messed around in high school, but wouldn't consider any of it "sex," per say.
> 
> Briefly dated a girl in college and had anal sex with her.
> 
> ...


LOL wish that I could've lasted that long my first time.


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## Slider (Nov 17, 2009)

stargazing grasshopper said:


> LOL wish that I could've lasted that long my first time.


It was bizarre.

Being nervous was probably a contributing factor.


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## Queen Qualia (Feb 21, 2013)

None of the above. I did it because I wanted to feel loved; and to know I'm not a dud and that someone somewhere could possibly be interested in me. I didn't really know the person. I just wanted to. I don't regret it. It did make me feel loved. It was freeing to me. Years and years of pressure and fear and worry: gone. Utterly. It felt so good not to care -- about everyone else, or my own sense of morality -- for just one time in my life. Free from all constraint and worry. Free from knowledge or opinion. Free to be. (As a friend I had at the time pointed out after many deep conversations, he knew my "sex drive" had more to do with how trapped I feel in life than it does with an insecure need for romance or something.)

Replaced with new concerns of course, but at least not the same old ones!

My first time was deep and full of personal significance: just like me! ^_^

Not to be too graphic but... It was outside in the hills under the stars in mid-summer, with a nearly complete stranger from an online relationship, that I wasn't supposed to be with at all; no one else knew about his existence; but who was really kind and considerate, and completely new and wonderful to me: the first time anyone handsome held my hand just for the sake of holding my hand; or ever kissed my lips, or any kind of romantic kiss; first time even being alone with someone, or being in a mutual anything with one. It was my first _everything_. All at like, 3 am, completely spontaneous as far as planning it goes. Stupidest thing I may have ever done but I don't regret it at all even though I should.

I guess the closest fit for me of your choices is "get it over with - don't regret it". But "get it over with" isn't how I feel/felt. I just wanted to. It was/is a very big deal to me.

If I could have a moment like that once a year every year of my life I'd be the happiest person alive. But that would be wrong of course. So I don't want to do that.

Once was enough of an indulgence, on that one thing anyway. Besides, you can only lose your virginity once anyway. So I couldn't ever repeat it if I tried.

But I still don't regret.

However, although I didn't "love" him in any meaningful sense, as such strangers, I did decide from the start that I would always try to love him, and guess what, I do!

So maybe the most accurate answer is "out of love."

It was love -- such as it is.

My first time was "bad" -- but it was wonderful to me and always will be. But sh! Don't tell.

(By the way, I was 18 and it was just last summer.)

Sex itself wasn't quite what I thought it would be, but he seemed pretty darn happy, and that's what I cared about most, aside from just being there.


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## Inveniet (Aug 21, 2009)

I can see how people reject the just to get it over with slant of the poll in hindsight.
But honestly before I had sex I didn't really know how it would pan out.
Only afterwards was I like.
That was _*nice*_, I need to do that a lot more.


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## 6007 (Feb 12, 2010)

My annoying boyfriend kept pestering me about it so I did. It was fine. I loved him or something like love. We'd been together a long time. The sex was boring but I always said yes. (I was perhaps oversexed in HS.)
But I didn't really enjoy sex until I went to college and found someone more my speed.


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