# To Be Useful or To Be Needed?



## UraniaIsis (Nov 26, 2014)

FJ: Useful > Wanted > Needed. As another user has mentioned, being needed--especially by family--can become a pigeon-holing crutch. Being useful, despite how utilitarian and impersonal as it sounds, acknowledges that I have or can develop skills/assets/attributes to fulfill needs and wants as they arise with room for error and to adjust accordingly. Whereas just being needed, I'm only seen when I only fulfill a certain need while ignoring my other potential qualities. Heaven forbid I mess something up and not meet someone's expectation just once, I'll be marked forever onward.


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## FluffyTheAnarchist (Sep 9, 2013)

Scoobyscoob said:


> Well, perhaps but I find co-dependency to be unhealthy behavior. Fe does tend to like to be needed but rather than seeing as a desire to be needed, it's more a desire to do or say something for someone they love/admire/respect/etc. I don't think Fi is self-centered. It's more being closed off emotionally to except those they care about. Everyone else may not even exist to Fi, otherwise. Although I will say FP types are very impulsive, that much is true and I would agree with you there.


well having a desire to be needed doesn't necessarily spell co-dependency, sometimes it's just a craving for tangible impact...


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## Scoobyscoob (Sep 4, 2016)

Little Miss Charming said:


> well having a desire to be needed doesn't necessarily spell co-dependency, sometimes it's just a craving for tangible impact...


True, actually a desire to be needed is a rather core aspect to the ESFP personality type. I'm sorry for not realizing I was kind of insulting your innate desire to be needed. Which is why I think ESFP tend to like/be friends with INTJ and INFJ who kind of need someone to take care of things for them in a tangible way. XD


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## FluffyTheAnarchist (Sep 9, 2013)

Scoobyscoob said:


> True, actually a desire to be needed is a rather core aspect to the ESFP personality type. I'm sorry for not realizing* I was kind of insulting your innate desire to be needed.* Which is why I think ESFP tend to like/be friends with INTJ and INFJ who kind of need someone to take care of things for them in a tangible way. XD


we are a walking paradox: mushy, yet thick-skinned


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## Scoobyscoob (Sep 4, 2016)

Little Miss Charming said:


> we are a walking paradox: mushy, yet thick-skinned


Yes, you are; but I'm sure you're still the apple of your parents' eyes.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Needed sounds so clingy


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## svenze (Aug 3, 2016)

I can't stand being needed, it's like a responsability. I want to be useful, most of times to show someone that I'm thankful and to help them.


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