# NF stereotypes vs. reality: Do they describe you, annoy you, or something else?



## jcatenaci (Mar 28, 2014)

When I refer to NF stereotypes, I refer to traits such as a high amount of credulity, thin skin, naiveté, unrealistic expectations about love, and more that I'm sure you could think of. Are there any I haven't mentioned?

Anyway, do you feel that they are more accurate than not? Personally, I'm a very skeptical person, I do believe the majority of people are good at heart even though they may just need to be enlightened, I'm rather thick skinned with everyone but myself (I find my self criticisms are, ironically, the only ones that are really difficult to stomach), And I don't think I possess unrealistic expectations about love unless having someone who is fun to talk to and is willing to join you on a good old adventure is unrealistic.

What do you The other NF's think?
What do the other types think?


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## Euclid (Mar 20, 2014)

Maybe they're all evil at heart. You'll never know. Maybe you are just an NT in denial or have mixed functions and transcend MBTI. Maybe you are an INFJ witch.


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## jcatenaci (Mar 28, 2014)

Euclid said:


> Maybe they're all evil at heart. You'll never know. Maybe you are just an NT in denial or have mixed functions and transcend MBTI. Maybe you are an INFJ witch.


Lol, well I'm pretty sure I'm not an NT, as I exhibit some very typical NF traits such as a powerful, personal value system, a well-developed sense of empathy, a value in being considered compassionate (though I equally value being considered reasonable and I derive great joy when I see that flash in the eyes of another person that says "I never thought of it that way."). Hell, maybe you have a point and I'm just a bizarre NT/NF blend.

Of course, I could just be a witch. P.S. I don't burn, so good luck to anyone who tries, lol!

Oh, and just because I have to bite on that dangling line, if people are all evil at heart, then I would be evil at heart as well. If I were evil at heart, then why would I believe that I was good? Perhaps I could be as deluded as everyone else is... Unless they know something I don't know. This subject requires further research... data not found.


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## candiemerald (Jan 26, 2014)

I disagree with a lot of the NF stereotypes, and sometimes relate better with NT stereotypes. Like you say, I am extremely skeptical. I always seek and see the best in people, but I don't idealize them, and I understand we are all flawed - our flaws are what makes us human. I am a perfectionist and an idealist, but not naive, nor particularly thin-skinned. I am rational, even though I'm not very practical, and I don't melt into a puddle of tears every time someone points out my flaws, or doesn't meet my expectations. I'm not a fluffy, cuddly, mindless being, who must be cuddled and coddled to be able to function in the world. A lot of NF stereotypes are complete hogwash


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## jcatenaci (Mar 28, 2014)

candiemerald said:


> I disagree with a lot of the NF stereotypes, and sometimes relate better with NT stereotypes. Like you say, I am extremely skeptical. I always seek and see the best in people, but I don't idealize them, and I understand we are all flawed - our flaws are what makes us human. I am a perfectionist and an idealist, but not naive, nor particularly thin-skinned. I am rational, even though I'm not very practical, and I don't melt into a puddle of tears every time someone points out my flaws, or doesn't meet my expectations. I'm not a fluffy, cuddly, mindless being, who must be cuddled and coddled to be able to function in the world. A lot of NF stereotypes are complete hogwash


Definitely agree. I feel that when Kiersey was describing NF's he focused a lot on young NF's, which would explain why his description of them sounds like an entire block of Disney characters with 0 edge and seemingly 0 ability to cope with the real world. I'm pretty sure most NF's are more savvy then "Please Understand Me's" description of us. I mean, just because these temperaments seek to change the world or take up causes doesn't mean that they are all smiles and puppy dogs all time.

Maybe I should go track down what Jung originally had to say about the various cognitive functions to get the original writings on these.


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## candiemerald (Jan 26, 2014)

jcatenaci said:


> Definitely agree. I feel that when Kiersey was describing NF's he focused a lot on young NF's, which would explain why his description of them sounds like an *entire block of Disney characters with 0 edge and seemingly 0 ability to cope with the real world.* I'm pretty sure most NF's are more savvy then "Please Understand Me's" description of us. I mean, just because these temperaments seek to change the world or take up causes doesn't mean that they are all smiles and puppy dogs all time.
> 
> Maybe I should go track down what Jung originally had to say about the various cognitive functions to get the original writings on these.


Hehe, that's good :laughing:
Yes, we are a great deal more savvy and world-wise than most of the stereotypes make us out to be. The stereotypes for most of the types suck and are best used with extreme caution.


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## mushr00m (May 23, 2011)

Yes, they do. Vastly exaggerated in relation to actual lived experience. They won't allow room for developing individuals. Don't do outwardly gushy. Don't cry at the drop of a hat except under long-term stress. Yeah, the stereotypes are very childish and based on cookie cutter perceptions that those who spawn them have.


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## Euclid (Mar 20, 2014)

Maybe we need to replace MBTI with a 65536 type system so we don't accidentally confuse INFJ witches with puppy dogs.


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## jcatenaci (Mar 28, 2014)

Euclid said:


> Maybe we need to replace MBTI with a 65536 type system so we don't accidentally confuse INFJ witches with puppy dogs.


Oh, stop being so cheeky. Lol


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## FearAndTrembling (Jun 5, 2013)

I'm guilty about most of those stereotypes, but most people I know, don't know that about me. I think I am intelligent, but being a "dreamer" and intuitive dom will always make me naive in some areas, and perhaps, overly hopeful and sentimental about some things..


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## jcatenaci (Mar 28, 2014)

candiemerald said:


> Hehe, that's good :laughing:
> Yes, we are a great deal more savvy and world-wise than most of the stereotypes make us out to be. The stereotypes for most of the types suck and are best used with extreme caution.


YES! Particularly the "NT's are robots," "SP's are chronic underachievers," and "SJ's are squares." None of these are flattering or even accurate. I've met NT's capable of great empathy, SP's who are powerfully driven, and SJ's who are complete party animals. I think the problem goes back to the idea that we have to devise elaborate pseudo-scientificy fake zodiacs so people can feel like they've figured out someone's entire being once they find out how their mind prefers to operate when I comes to solving daily problems. Some traits can describe the overwhelming majority of NF's, but that majority doesn't share all of those traits at any given moment.


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## candiemerald (Jan 26, 2014)

jcatenaci said:


> YES! Particularly the "NT's are robots," "SP's are chronic underachievers," and "SJ's are squares." None of these are flattering or even accurate. I've met NT's capable of great empathy, SP's who are powerfully driven, and SJ's who are complete party animals. I think the problem goes back to the idea that we have to devise elaborate pseudo-scientificy fake zodiacs so people can feel like they've figured out someone's entire being once they find out how their mind prefers to operate when I comes to solving daily problems. Some traits can describe the overwhelming majority of NF's, but that majority doesn't share all of those traits at any given moment.


Precisely. You can't just stamp everyone in one devised group with a single description. Humanity doesn't work that way.


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## jcatenaci (Mar 28, 2014)

FearAndTrembling said:


> I'm guilty about most of those stereotypes, but most people I know, don't know that about me. I think I am intelligent, but being a "dreamer" and intuitive dom will always make me naive in some areas, and perhaps, overly hopeful and sentimental about some things..


Hey, that's cool, too. There's nothing wrong with being a dreamer and looking to the sky. Hell, I do it but my life experiences just drove me to start analyzing things. Maybe it's just me trying to figure out how to make the dream a reality, lol!


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## FearAndTrembling (Jun 5, 2013)

Oh, yes, like some INTJ on here a few weeks ago said something to me, like it was nice to see me "using my thinking". lol. And an INTP woman mentioned something that NF want NT in relationships , because we want brains. Like they would obviously be the brains in the relationship, and not us. lol.


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## jcatenaci (Mar 28, 2014)

FearAndTrembling said:


> Oh, yes, like some INTJ on here a few weeks ago said something to me, like it was nice to see me "using my thinking". lol. And an INTP woman mentioned something that NF want NT in relationships , because we want brains. Like they would obviously be the brains in the relationship, and not us. lol.


You know, if your type is supposedly known for both intuitive thought and logical reasoning you would believe that such a person would be more apt to...
A) Intellectual humility "all that I know is that I know nothing."
B) understanding that everyone thinks, not just dominant T users
C)MBTI is not a perfect system(I point to the paucity of peer review regarding Jungian cognitive functions)
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
D) And seeing point C, you likely shouldn't stereotype people based upon their MBTI type...

...Of course if they were just joking those are cute jokes, but still.

Bottom line, MBTI is fun to think about and it is a cool intellectual topic to chew upon, but it is not meant to be held as gospel. We're not talking about Newtonian physics here.


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## herinb (Aug 24, 2013)

All the NFs I know are deeply spiritual or religious, so I've developed an expectation that NFs are usually spiritual or religious. Do you guys think this stereotype is often true? Why or why not? Thanks!


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

Eh... I'm a pretty cliche INFJ... I can fall into many of those stereotypes.


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## jcatenaci (Mar 28, 2014)

herinb said:


> All the NFs I know are deeply spiritual or religious, so I've developed an expectation that NFs are usually spiritual or religious. Do you guys think this stereotype is often true? Why or why not? Thanks!


Well, I don't belong to any of the traditional western religions but I am a devout Humanist and I love Buddhism (serenity, impermanence, the cyclical nature of the universe) for personal reasons. I think NF's have a natural love of the intangible and at their core are deeply focused on ethics. Because of this, they usually express spiritual beliefs of one kind or another. This is similar to the SJ but the small difference is that NF's come to their spiritual beliefs following a personal journey rather than feeling a sense of duty or obligation to uphold the religion of their forebears.


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## killerB (Jan 14, 2010)

Don't worry OP, you are not the only one. 

I usually don't frequent INFJ discusssions because it seems like there is a propensity of drama involved, or hurt feelings. I have seen it a few times on this site, but not often. I dropped off the last INFJ board due to the fact that I could not stand all the drama. They had stereotypes all over the place there! I feel pretty good about posting here however, and talking to fellow INFJs.

I do admit that I am a bit thin skinned, but have build up boundries so that people I am not close to can't really hurt me, but they sure can piss me off at times! LOL I find I am more cynical than the other INFJ I know at work, she is very sweet, but she is like a little delicate butterfly and so many things upset her. Even my 3 INTJs here at home say I am cynical(and that's saying something). I think it is a matter of protection. I don't really trust or often even like people. I also happen to be a daydreamer, and it can be really hard to get my attention at times, at work they think it's funny that I can just sit there and not pay attention, or block sounds out that drive them crazy. I truly do not hear them, they say I am in my own little world, and they are right! My intuition is very very strong.


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## herinb (Aug 24, 2013)

jcatenaci said:


> Well, I don't belong to any of the traditional western religions but I am a devout Humanist and I love Buddhism (serenity, impermanence, the cyclical nature of the universe) for personal reasons. I think NF's have a natural love of the intangible and at their core are deeply focused on ethics. Because of this, they usually express spiritual beliefs of one kind or another. This is similar to the SJ but the small difference is that NF's come to their spiritual beliefs following a personal journey rather than feeling a sense of duty or obligation to uphold the religion of their forebears.


 I am non-theist, but I am very conscious of ethics, too. Your explanation of NFs'and SJ's spirituality/religion makes a lot of sense. I think I understand NF's spirituality better than SJ's (this is a generalized statement ) because the reasoning behind it usually makes more sense to me. Anyway, thank you! Sorry for being off-topic here!


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## Im FiNe (Oct 17, 2013)

jcatenaci said:


> When I refer to NF stereotypes, I refer to traits such as a high amount of credulity, thin skin, naiveté, unrealistic expectations about love, and more that I'm sure you could think of. Are there any I haven't mentioned?
> 
> Anyway, do you feel that they are more accurate than not? Personally, I'm a very skeptical person, I do believe the majority of people are good at heart even though they may just need to be enlightened, I'm rather thick skinned with everyone but myself (I find my self criticisms are, ironically, the only ones that are really difficult to stomach), And I don't think I possess unrealistic expectations about love unless having someone who is fun to talk to and is willing to join you on a good old adventure is unrealistic.
> 
> ...


I'm not sure where you intend to draw the line regarding NF stereotyping versus the description of the temperament. I guess I will forego approaching anything other than what is listed on the NF Temperament at keirsey.com. From descriptive elements there, I must admit to feeling agreement with most (including your listing of being credulous, naïve, and thin-skinned) of what is listed to varying degrees. Strongest affinity to me is idealism and the concept of the "not yet", strict standard of personal integrity, and conflict avoidant.

Those qualities that I don't relate to include seeing myself as being gifted at helping others to find their way in life, having a talent for helping people get along together, enthusiastic, or an intense mate.


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## jcatenaci (Mar 28, 2014)

Im FiNe said:


> I'm not sure where you intend to draw the line regarding NF stereotyping versus the description of the temperament. I guess I will forego approaching anything other than what is listed on the NF Temperament at keirsey.com. From descriptive elements there, I must admit to feeling agreement with most (including your listing of being credulous, naïve, and thin-skinned) of what is listed to varying degrees. Strongest affinity to me is idealism and the concept of the "not yet", strict standard of personal integrity, and conflict avoidant.
> 
> Those qualities that I don't relate to include seeing myself as being gifted at helping others to find their way in life, having a talent for helping people get along together, enthusiastic, or an intense mate.


In this case, yeah I'm referring to the qualities that Kiersey referred to in "Please Understand Me II." Many of the personal qualities that Kiersey listed as typical of NF's seem to portray a person who is very different from myself; some find this applies to them, others have found that it doesn't. Part of that just seems to stem from the way we were when we were kids versus the way we are now. I know for me, this is true.


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## Artemis 2x4 (Dec 10, 2013)

jcatenaci said:


> In this case, yeah I'm referring to the qualities that Kiersey referred to in "Please Understand Me II." Many of the personal qualities that Kiersey listed as typical of NF's seem to portray a person who is very different from myself; some find this applies to them, others have found that it doesn't. Part of that just seems to stem from the way we were when we were kids versus the way we are now. I know for me, this is true.


Is this why I didnt finish the book and was irritated while reading?


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## jcatenaci (Mar 28, 2014)

Salihah said:


> Is this why I didnt finish the book and was irritated while reading?


Yeah, I know INFP's are portrayed as gentle snowflakes that can't be upset lest you send them into a self-hate spiral. It was a pretty cool book, but it has its annoying parts, too.

Of course, a Kiersey follower would probably say you didn't finish it because of your "P" preference and you just got bored. :tongue:


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## Artemis 2x4 (Dec 10, 2013)

jcatenaci said:


> Yeah, I know INFP's are portrayed as gentle snowflakes that can't be upset lest you send them into a self-hate spiral. It was a pretty cool book, but it has its annoying parts, too.
> 
> Of course, a Kiersey follower would probably say you didn't finish it because of your "P" preference and you just got bored. :tongue:


It was a cool book, but omg it was annoying........

Ugh, i hate being generalized or categorized! Open your mind please! God.......


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## jcatenaci (Mar 28, 2014)

Salihah said:


> It was a cool book, but omg it was annoying........
> 
> Ugh, i hate being generalized or categorized! Open your mind please! God.......


There are some traits that you can imagine there is a likelihood the person will possess based upon their MBTI, but it is more based upon their Cognitive Traits then anything else. I imagine that the dominant N makes NF's and NT's more likely to enjoy Sci-Fi and Fantasy as opposed to S's who might be more likely to find it to be kid stuff.

There are exceptions, but it is just more likely to be the case based upon their preference for imagination. Someone may scream hypocrite at me because I'm just taking the stereotypes I like, but hey I'm not assuming this nor am I making snarky comments about it.


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## Artemis 2x4 (Dec 10, 2013)

jcatenaci said:


> There are some traits that you can imagine there is a likelihood the person will possess based upon their MBTI, but it is more based upon their Cognitive Traits then anything else. I imagine that the dominant N makes NF's and NT's more likely to enjoy Sci-Fi and Fantasy as opposed to S's who might be more likely to find it to be kid stuff.
> 
> There are exceptions, but it is just more likely to be the case based upon their preference for imagination. Someone may scream hypocrite at me because I'm just taking the stereotypes I like, but hey I'm not assuming this nor am I making snarky comments about it.


There is so much more to us than these letters and its not even the letters to be looked at. You need to look at the functions themselves. The hierarchy is also important, its why im INFP and you ENFP. That does explain a lot and make sense. 

Hypocrite! XP


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## jcatenaci (Mar 28, 2014)

Salihah said:


> There is so much more to us than these letters and its not even the letters to be looked at. You need to look at the functions themselves. The hierarchy is also important, its why im INFP and you ENFP. That does explain a lot and make sense.
> 
> Hypocrite! XP


Right, mine is Ne and Fi which is why I love to think about the outside world so damn much. I can't stop, and frankly never want to! Hahaha. No one will change that in me, no matter what life experiences I gain.


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## Artemis 2x4 (Dec 10, 2013)

jcatenaci said:


> Right, mine is Ne and Fi which is why I love to think about the outside world so damn much. I can't stop, and frankly never want to! Hahaha. No one will change that in me, no matter what life experiences I gain.


And mines is Fi and Ne, and its why I have the most tasty and vivid imagination! I love my head so frekaing much. And I cannot stop imganing love and the future and abilities, stories, light and dark.......I never want to stop either  I find this will never change me either......No matter what life hits me with :3


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## jcatenaci (Mar 28, 2014)

Salihah said:


> And mines is Fi and Ne, and its why I have the most tasty and vivid imagination! I love my head so frekaing much. And I cannot stop imganing love and the future and abilities, stories, light and dark.......I never want to stop either  I find this will never change me either......No matter what life hits me with :3


So, proud NF's life?


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## Artemis 2x4 (Dec 10, 2013)

jcatenaci said:


> So, proud NF's life?


You got it


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## jcatenaci (Mar 28, 2014)

So the bottom line is that many of us dislike the stereotypes, and that we should all focus more on our cognitive functions and build our own link between other NF's to see what we all have in common. Would anyone disagree?


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## Im FiNe (Oct 17, 2013)

jcatenaci said:


> So the bottom line is that many of us dislike the stereotypes, and that we should all focus more on our cognitive functions and build our own link between other NF's to see what we all have in common. Would anyone disagree?


What constitutes many? Only 9 different NFs (not including jcatenaci) responded. Of those responding only INFP and INFJ (not including jcatenaci, ENFP) have written anything.

I recall writing that there were some things that I didn't find particularly descriptive of how I perceive myself, but that I did see most in some regular fashion evident in me (INFP). @Antipode wrote that the description fits him well (INFJ). [_And to clarify I do understand that we are discussing the description of the NF temperament rather than the 4 individual type descriptions_.]

I would guess that most (if not all) people would dislike false or misleading descriptions of them.

Conclusion: the generalization for NFs fits some people better than others to varying degrees.

Adjunct Thought (hypothesis): NFs will resonate with the descriptive elements probably following a bell-shaped curve distribution, with the outlying populations either identifying completely with all of the descriptions on one end or identifying only partially and with only a few of the descriptive elements on the other end. Most would recognize some of the descriptions as applicable and some as not.

Application: When dealing with descriptions of the temperaments be mindful that most people will not match all of the descriptions. Some descriptions will apply and some will not. A few people may not appear really to fit the temperament. A few people may appear to be the model of the temperament.


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## jcatenaci (Mar 28, 2014)

Im FiNe said:


> What constitutes many? Only 9 different NFs (not including jcatenaci) responded. Of those responding only INFP and INFJ (not including jcatenaci, ENFP) have written anything.
> 
> I recall writing that there were some things that I didn't find particularly descriptive of how I perceive myself, but that I did see most in some regular fashion evident in me (INFP). @Antipode wrote that the description fits him well (INFJ).  [_And to clarify I do understand that we are discussing the description of the NF temperament rather than the 4 individual type descriptions_.]
> 
> ...


Well hell, I really can't argue against that.


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## jcatenaci (Mar 28, 2014)

I'll amend the statement; the typical traits associated with NF's as a group may not accurately represent you now, but you shouldn't take too much offense with this. If anyone pre-judges you based on this, well tell them to go to hell but enjoy their trip on the way down.


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## missy12 (Feb 19, 2013)

I'm actually not true to most of the stereotypes you just listed  I'm not really that sensitive and don't take things to heart really, unless someone is directly trying to hurt me, but if it's not heartfelt then I don't really care. As far as love is concerned, for the most part the stuff you see in movies really don't exist. Love is a bit fluffed up in lots of media. So, I wouldn't say that I have an unrealistic view on love. Maybe when I was younger, I was pretty naive, but I've learned a lot in the past few years. My idealism is still there, but reality is mixed along with it as well. I can still be pretty gullible, but I've learned not to accept people's words as easily as I used to.


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