# How do you grow from "intern" to "manager"?



## Chamberlain (Dec 28, 2012)

Today marks the 1 "month-versary" at my new job. Yay!

I'm 26F and I've started an HR job in a pretty big company (think Fortune 500) to manage a graduate program. It's my 4th job overall so I'm still considered a junior by most standards, but it's my first full-time job with a "grown-up" work contract. By this I mean that:

- Job 1 was a 3 month internship (late 2014, I was 20)
- Job 2 was a 2 year internship, (2015-2017) (I use the term internship loosely, at the time I was still at school getting my Master's degree)
- Job 3 was a graduate program for 18 months (2018-2019)
- Job 4 is a full-time job where I'm considered a legit FTE.(all jobs are in the HR field)

So my title says "Graduate Program Manager", and while I don't have anyone under me, I might hire an intern one year from now.

Here's the kick: I've never managed anyone and I'm not sure I've completely switched mindset from "intern" to "manager", hence the title.

Since my first job at age 20, I've always been "someone's intern" and I'm pretty used to being "bossed around" (in the nicest way). My managers would tell me what to do ("can you be in charge of this recruitment?" "can you research this topic?" "here's a project for you: blahblah") and I'd do it, and be very good at that. Aside from Job 1 which was a nightmare (I was this close to file a complaint for workplace harassment and that's why I quit after 3 months), my managers have always given me positive but honest reviews and feedback, with of course constructive criticism.

I would sometimes do things that were easy rather than stuff that was hard but could teach me a lot, because I'm still in that immature mindset where a minor misstep feels like a major screw-up. So while I was a very good foot soldier, I'd probably be a bad captain. Going from being an intern who takes orders to being a junior manager (who might manage someone) is not something that feels doable, at least right now. I still have a year to be trained though.

My boss "Ann" at Job 4 told me today "now that you've become more familiar with the company, I want you to take the lead on X and Y topics and to accelerate the pace. You still have "Betty" and "Chloe" to support you, but you're the one who manages the program and we trust you to lead it."
For context: I report to Chloe, she reports to Betty, she reports to Ann. I work closely with Ann for lots of reasons even though she's 3 notches above me. I'm also much younger, as these 3 managers are aged 39-ish to 50-ish.

I'm happy with this job because it's challenging and the workplace environment is healthy, but I want to feel that I've rightfully earned this position and prove myself (and my bosses) that they made the right choice in hiring me. And when I'll have to hire an intern next year, I want to feel ready to be a good boss, because I believe that your first manager often has a strong impact on how you're built as a worker.

So how can I outgrow the "happily bossed-around intern" to become the "manager who gets stuff done"?


----------



## floodbear (Mar 3, 2016)

copy your bosses, but do it better than them


----------



## 30812 (Dec 22, 2011)

Management does a lot of talking and gives a lot of advice and solutions to people so you need some solid fundamental knowledge, experience and skills in what you're doing. A manager typically leans more towards the big picture (figure out how your work will materialize what your boss wants to achieve and devise a plan that people are happy with) while also having to pay attention to individual tasks (progress of your team, their tasks, deadlines, their problems, interpersonal relationships etc). The value of management is problem solving, leadership and risk management, not doing the hands-on work anymore. However, when situation requires you will have to do both. It's not a bad idea to get involved every once a while to keep your hands-on skills from being rusty because after some time it will deteriorate. I spend most of my time thinking and talking nowadays.

Ideally, you should be able to close your eyes and visualize what your team is going through day by day and foresee what kind of problems they will encounter before you delegate and give them instructions and warnings in advance, and be able to anticipate how your boss will react is crucial because you usually have the information before your boss does so reporting skill will save your life, a slightly different wording in your report can mean heaven and hell for you if you are not careful. Sometimes it's better to keep your mouth shut and pretend you didn't know, sometimes it's better if you analyse the situation and let your boss decide while sometimes you should make the call and not wasting their time. You need to think it through every time before you make a decision because people are slow to forget, about perceived mistakes and failures in particular.

I've seen many managers blew themselves up one way or the other. Some were inexperienced but insisted on playing the lead role and screw up the project. Some were too willing to please their team and failed to manage their subordinates. Some were not able to find the right balance in their relationship with their boss and subordinates. Some say yes to everything and eventually said yes to a suicide project no sensible manager would like to take up. Some never delegated and did everything themselves because they didn't trust anyone and burned themselves out. Some delegated but never bothered to follow up the whole thing just fell apart. Some were not sensitive to office politics and end up being forced to take up high risk projects with no credit and fired after failing them. Some thought they had their own little kingdom and forgot they had a boss too... Think. Try to strike a balance the best you can. 

As a junior/senior staff the road has been more or less cleared for you by your boss all you need to do is do as instructed and deliver. As manager, you will be navigating in a minefield all the time (sometimes in blindfold because your boss isn't telling you shit), you need to figure out a way to reach your goal without blowing yourself up while taking care of your team. You also need to get used to delegation and accept the fact that all kinds of strange things will eventually happen no matter how careful you try to be because different people interpret the same message or situation differently and things out of your control will no doubt occur and it's up to you to fix it before it escalates to a total shit storm. There is an inherent risk element in management it's like holding a weigh 24/7. You will naturally worry a lot as a result.

Not everyone is cut out to be a manager but good luck and congratulate. Tread carefully, keep your eyes open and try not to worry too much there's no point if you're not happy and stressed all the time. It's a learning process for everyone you will figure out the way that works best for you. Turn on your survival mode and being risk averse will serve you well because you can no longer afford to make too many mistakes. Don't be too aggressive in new territories, take your time and learn as quickly as you can. As long as you survive in management all kinds of things and shit will come to you eventually you just need to make sure you are ready when they come.


----------



## Messenian (Jan 22, 2017)

Congratulations on your internship. As a former London City professional and hiring manager, I know getting an internship in a big company is no small feat. 

To answer your question, from my experience, these should help: 

You get promoted to real management positions when the people who make those decisions have already seen you work at a manager's level whilst NOT a manager. And they like what they see. In other words, you don't get promoted so as to become a manager. You get promoted in recognition of the fact that you're working at a manager's level. How can you get there?

- Don't aggressively ask for extra responsibility. But with your everyday conduct, broadcast your willingness to accept it when it's on 
offer. You do this by being capable, reliable, pleasant and gracious in handling extra burden. 

- Accept the extra responsibilities even if no extra compensation (monetary or otherwise) is on offer. The positions and responsibilities 
that lead to management are those that very few are actually willing to go for. By taking them on, you become one of those few 
potential managers. 

- Behave, speak, write, dress and work as if you're already a manager.
"What! But I don't even get paid for it!" 
That's most peoples' attitude to such demands. Most people don't get promoted to managers.

- Keep in mind that at all times and whether you like it or not, you represent your department; your boss; your boss's boss; and the 
entire organisation.

- Always and everywhere, look for ways to add value to those around you


----------



## Chamberlain (Dec 28, 2012)

@*Messenian* thank you for your kind words, but I believe you might have misread me though!

My current title *is* manager and it's my first job as an employee vs the other jobs where I was an intern. Jobs 2 and 3 were also for Fortune 500 companies but in different industries. My post was asking about how I could grow my mindset, from what I've been for so long (an intern who receives orders and simply executes them) to what I am supposed to be now but not quite there yet (someone more responsible and with more accountability who will have her own intern).


----------



## Messenian (Jan 22, 2017)

Chamberlain said:


> @*Messenian* thank you for your kind words, but I believe you might have misread me though!
> 
> My current title *is* manager and it's my first job as an employee vs the other jobs where I was an intern. Jobs 2 and 3 were also for Fortune 500 companies but in different industries. My post was asking about how I could grow my mindset, from what I've been for so long (an intern who receives orders and simply executes them) to what I am supposed to be now but not quite there yet (someone more responsible and with more accountability who will have her own intern).


Great! Then you only have to keep that part of my answer which seems potentially applicable to a manager who aspires to rise from a MINO (manager in name only) to a manager in essence, or from manager to director, or indeed to any professional who operates in a hierarchy and aspires to climbing its ranks


----------



## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

Hi @Chamberlain! Congratulations! 

It's going to make your path a lot easier that you're still working on your own right now and that you'll start with one intern in a year. You have plenty of time to get used to thinking in a managerial mindset, and your bosses can help you with that. If they're tracking you into management, they must believe that there is already evidence of managerial capacity within you, so they'll work with you to foster that. It's awesome that they sound very supportive and hands-on. Part of the job of manager is looking at ability and growth in your subordinates - how you can help them work on and minimize their weaknesses, emphasize and reward their strengths, and help them capitalize on opportunities - and it sounds like they are doing exactly that with you right now. Take note of how they're doing that so you can use it in the future too! In a more global sense, start considering the traits and habits of good managers you have had in the past, and why you considered them good. Talk to them if you can. Ask about their best practices (daily habits/routines), their strategies (general game plan), and what they have learned (bumps along the road). 

If there is one skill I think management really requires, it's a meta-thinking when it comes to process, which @t4u6 illustrated a good bit of. Becoming a manager will suddenly force you to look at every given in a more distanced light, asking when and how it can best be done, if it needs to be done, etc. It engages a different level of thinking, one that's more removed from the day-to-day mess. You are actually already doing that by asking this question here, so kudos to you for that. As you begin to take on your own projects, think not only about what you're doing, but if you're doing it in the best _way_. For example, it's great to turn in an incredible project, but if you really gave it 100% and burnt yourself out and aren't able to deliver the next day on an even more important project, it would actually be better to give 80% on the first project and 100% on the more important one. The same goes for your team - if you push them really hard and they achieve great results one day, that's fantastic, but be careful because you can't push them extremely hard all the time. It's that kind of process thinking that will help you move from being someone who does what they are told well to becoming someone who is responsible for deciding what should be done and how it should be done. Do remember it's all a work in progress, always. All sorts of crazy shit will come your way and it will help if you learn to just accept that and flow forward - learning to take things in stride. _Ok, here's the crazy circumstance that came up, is what it is, how do I best work with/around it?_ IMO the best managers are masters of the art of balance - balancing between caring for themself and caring for their team and caring about the work, balancing between long-term and short-term tasks, balancing between dealing with minor daily explosions while adhering to future vision, balancing between delegating responsibility and allowing agency, and so on. It's challenging, but for me it has been enlightening and enriching in my personal life as well. 

All the best!


----------



## Surreal Snake (Nov 17, 2009)

Kiss a hell of a lot of ass...


----------



## 30812 (Dec 22, 2011)

angelfish said:


> Hi @*Chamberlain*! Congratulations!
> 
> It's going to make your path a lot easier that you're still working on your own right now and that you'll start with one intern in a year. You have plenty of time to get used to thinking in a managerial mindset, and your bosses can help you with that. If they're tracking you into management, they must believe that there is already evidence of managerial capacity within you, so they'll work with you to foster that. It's awesome that they sound very supportive and hands-on. Part of the job of manager is looking at ability and growth in your subordinates - how you can help them work on and minimize their weaknesses, emphasize and reward their strengths, and help them capitalize on opportunities - and it sounds like they are doing exactly that with you right now. Take note of how they're doing that so you can use it in the future too! In a more global sense, start considering the traits and habits of good managers you have had in the past, and why you considered them good. Talk to them if you can. Ask about their best practices (daily habits/routines), their strategies (general game plan), and what they have learned (bumps along the road).
> 
> ...


Yea strange things did happen and I find that sometimes making assumptions can be fatal. Once I sent a staff out to serve some important notice on a shop, which I only had one chance to do it right because that's what our lawyer advised: It had to be served at that particular time and on that particular day to make our plan work. 

The staff told me the shop was closed with gates shut and sent me photos via whatsapp. I told him over the phone in simple words "First borrow duct tapes from the neighbours if you have not brought it with you already, not the tiny ones you have on your desks, I mean the big ones you use to seal boxes, and tape the notice at the centre of the gate where it is easy to spot. Second, in case the notice comes off for some reason, fold another copy of the notice and push it firmly in the crack between the gate and the partitioning wall but in a way that the seal from the court can be seen"

The junior told the assistant manager that he had done as instructed and she told me the same. I asked for photos to make sure. His photo literally gave me fucking heart attack and I was so glad that I asked for confirmation. He folded the notice and pushed it in the crack between the gate and the partitioning wall of an irrelevant building next to the shop. No fucking idea what makes him think it's a good idea to serve notice on your neighbour who has absolutely nothing to do with it.​


----------



## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

t4u6 said:


> Yea strange things did happen and I find that sometimes making assumptions can be fatal. Once I sent a staff out to serve some important notice on a shop, which I only had one chance to do it right because that's what our lawyer advised: It had to be served at that particular time and on that particular day to make our plan work.
> 
> The staff told me the shop was closed with gates shut and sent me photos via whatsapp. I told him over the phone in simple words "First borrow duct tapes from the neighbours if you have not brought it with you already, not the tiny ones you have on your desks, I mean the big ones you use to seal boxes, and tape the notice at the centre of the gate where it is easy to spot. Second, in case the notice comes off for some reason, fold another copy of the notice and push it firmly in the crack between the gate and the partitioning wall but in a way that the seal from the court can be seen"
> 
> The junior told the assistant manager that he had done as instructed and she told me the same. I asked for photos to make sure. His photo literally gave me fucking heart attack and I was so glad that I asked for confirmation. He folded the notice and pushed it in the crack between the gate and the partitioning wall of an irrelevant building next to the shop. No fucking idea what makes him think it's a good idea to serve notice on your neighbour who has absolutely nothing to do with it.​


Hahaha oh noooooo :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: 

And yes - sometimes I come in to the most baffling situations and it takes a while before I discover the stories behind them, if ever! Sometimes I never find out. Often it's a new person that got ahead of themselves and launched forward using all the wrong resources. The last time I had a great laugh was when I came in to discover much of our department's work from the previous night stored upside-down because they evidently didn't understand how our containers worked... I never thought I'd have to explain that, but, like you said, making assumptions...


----------

