# Advice For ENTPs...What I've Learned So Far



## The_Cold_Apple (Aug 14, 2014)

I would describe being an ENTP as one of the biggest blessings and curses of my life. One side of me wouldn't trade it for the world and the other side wishes I could wake up tomorrow as an ISxJ. 

We don't make up a large part of the population, and thank goodness! Can you imagine if more people were like us:laughing: Anyway, I've been alive for 29 years so I figured I would post some useful information about what I've learned so far from being an ENTP. 

*Most People Will Not Get You*

Our Ne makes us super creative! It can come up with endless angles and possibilities. 

ENTPs corner the market when it comes to sheer imagination and creativity. I don't think we ever fully "grow up." We can literally look at a blank piece of paper and create a scene or idea from it. 

Here's the problem. Most people will not appreciate your endless supply of ideas. 

This includes other intuitives as well. It overwhelms them. 

They get annoyed or pissed off. We live in the world of possibilities so jumping from one thought to the next, one idea to the next, is great for us. But, others don't see it like we do. 

I think many ENTPs try to impress people with their wits and ideas and end up doing the opposite.

At worst, smart ENTPs can come off as crackpots. 

Most people think we're smart but somewhat neurotic. 

The few that become millionaires or wealthy are labeled as "Visionaries."

Solution: 

_Discuss, debate and talk about half the ideas you come up with. Be selective! When around people, use your Ne to come up with quirky and funny observations that make people laugh. Think of Chandler Bing on Friends. He's an ENTP. Save your ideas for people who can handle them (not many) or when it matters. _

*No Middle Ground, We Win Big or Lose Big*

ENTPs not balanced by nature. I would say that we are the ultimate gamblers in life. 

Our natural inclination is to go completely all in when we're interested in something. 

I was looking at average incomes for all 16 personalities and was surprised that ENTPs were the 2rd from the bottom. 

Only INFPs made less. I was thinking "what the hell, I thought we were supposed to be smart!"

At first, I thought the stats were wrong. "Someone messed up on the numbers, " or "the test base was flawed," I reasoned. 

But then, the answer hit me like a lightbulb! We win big and lose big. 

In other words, either we harness our Ne to become successful or we waste it. Circumstances and luck have a slight role to play in it as well. If there were, theoretically, 100 ENTPs in the USA, then 10-15 of them would be massively rich and the other 85 will be broke. 

What's more, and this comes with personal experience, we leave things right before they come to fruition or afterwards when we get bored. 

So sometimes we are on the cusp of hitting the "jackpot" but leave right before it's going to pay out. Or, we're successful at being a dairy farmer and then take everything we have and invest it in orange juice commodities :O

Solution: 

_In baseball, we all want to see home runs but its base hits and pitching that wins games. It's in our nature to try to hit the home run. We live for that. Being average is not in the books for most of us. We're creative and we want everyone to know it. The only way this can be arguably measured is by making lots of money. So we want to always win big. I've learned to try to make a dollar first before trying to make a million dollars. _

Note: I have a successful internet marketing and web design business but I have lost tens of thousands and time going after risky deals, options and poorly thought out business ideas. 

*Use Fe To Interact With Most People*

This is big! I also learned this the hard way. Do not use Ne and Ti to interact with most people. Yeah, a few people will think you're amazing, but you'll lose more people than win. 

Develop your Extroverted Feeling (3rd function) by watching, befriending or interacting with ENFJs or ESFJs. They will teach you a lot. Fe gives you the biggest net when it comes to people. 

It will help you make friends, be liked and SELL your ideas. You might have the best idea but your Extroverted Feeling will help you get people excited about it. 

Using Ne + Ti to interact with people is fun for you but it's like fishing with a pole. 

You'll catch some fish here and there. 

Using Fe is like finishing with large commercial nets. You'll catch 1000s of fish. They're jump right into the boat!

Fe allows you to win people over and once you do that, then you can slowly introduce your Ne. 

Example: Oprah and Will Smith. Everyone loves them. I am 100% sure that Oprah is an ENFJ and 60% sure that Will Smith is. Are those people amazingly smart. No. But, everyone loves them. ENFJS are the best at talking about other people's ideas, other people's talents and pumping them up. They can cheat through life, without ever knowing anything (not implying at all they are dumb) because they can "piggyback" off smarter people than them. 

Supercharge your Fe to the best of your ability. The best way to do this is to see Fe dom people in action. I become friends with a guy named Reed 5-6 years ago and that's when my Fe took off. I didn't know anything about MBTI or functions at the time but I was amazed how he effortlessly made friends. I don't think he had one enemy besides other guys who were jealous of him. 

I studied his patterns, how he talked to people and thought process and do my best to duplicate it. When I make a conscience effort to do it, I get the desired results most of the time. 

Plan of Action: 

_You have Fe in you but its not well developed. Don't wait to develop it later in life. Do it now. You can get to point A to Z faster with it. You'll be able to have a bigger network, which will assist you with what you really want to accomplish. If you want to be successful, then you will need people. Lots of them. Fe allows you make friends with whoever you need to, in the shortest amount of time possible._. 

*Relationships Will Be Hard For You*

The combination Ne + Ti will make you relationship challenged. Accept it. That combo produces traits that are not naturally good for long term relationships,.

Again, this is where your Fe comes in. You'll be able to attract the most amount of men and women with it. 

The problem is that you'll get bored from using this function too much. ENTPs can be sweet and personable at first but after a while the dominate traits will manifest themselves. You might have held your tongue with your girlfriend during the first three months of the relationship but sooner or later she will see the "real side."

Also, I am tired of websites saying that INTJs and INFJs are the best match for us. I think that is bullsh*t. 

We make decent work partners with them but in life the Ne vs Ni has major complications. Be aware of it. Ne + Ni is not the Cinderella pairing that people make it out to be. 

I'm not saying both types cannot work with us but don't think that those two personalities are your natural soul mates either. 

INTJ:

Many INTJs get annoyed very quickly with ENTPs. I love them and have several as friends but I stopped talking about my ideas with them a long time ago. They have one singular focus in life, are not fun to debate with and take life way more serious than you do. While you are just thinking your thoughts out loud, they are thinking what an idiot you are because you have not researched your facts. They only talk about things they know 100%. 

However, they are loyal, insanely smart, don't beat around the bush and if you can get past their strong outer shell (keep trying even when you get nowhere the first couple times), it can work. But don't go into it with "rose colored glasses."

INFJ

This match it better than the INTJ for relationships because at least we share two functions. A big plus about INFJs is that they are actually pretty darn logical though has aux Fe. 

INFJs will blow your mind by their insights on things. Again, all N functions are not created equal and Ni and Ne do completely different things. They will be annoyed by your Ne if you use it too much. They will try to understand you with their aux Fe but that first Ni function is so powerful, it might make things very challenging. They don't bounce around and like long term goal setting, even if they never do it. 

Also, they have a hard time with action. Like INTJs, they are insanely smart and will usually have a long term plan. However, they have a very hard time implementing the plan. If your two overall goals line up then its a go. They will make the plan and you will make it happen. 

But if they do not, forget about it. They will be super passionate about this one thing in life and your mind will be everywhere, and trust me, from experience, after a while it gets tiresome. 

You'll be trying to motivate her/him to do something but Ni can rarely be persuaded to do anything unless they think of it themselves. 

Solution: 

_There is no hard solution for this one. Each one will have to approach this landfill the best they can. Despite what Kiersey and other books say, I personally think SJs are the best for ENTPs. They're loyal, with do all the 101 small things you forgot to do but need to do (like wash your clothes and file your taxes) and love your "go getter" attitude more than they hate your "impulsivity." Surprisingly, I have seen many ENTPs have good relationships and marriages with ISFJs. SJs have tertiary or inferior Ne. They want to be more spontaneous, want to do new things but just don't know how. If you can be just a little more "stable" than you otherwise would, they work out better than people give them credit for. _

*Know Your Role In Society *

It's no coincidence that the population is unevenly distributed among the 16 types.

Most of the world are SJs or SPs. They make up the largest percentage of the population. They hold the entire world together. SJs do things in a more regimented way and SPs do things in a light-hearted, fun way, but they both accomplish the same thing. Think of them as the foundation or glue for Earth. 

NFs make the world a less cruel and more compassionate place. Without them, we would have blown ourselves up decades ago. 

NTs are responsible for creating things. They move technology forward. Most of our gadgets can be attributed to some NT coming up with it. 

My point: NTs are rare for a reason: our world doesn't need too many of us. We need just enough of them to invent new things (Ne) or improve upon the things we already have (Ni).

ENTPs are made to create. Your whole function stack is made to come up with new ideas that nobody else is thinking about. 

If you are in a profession or job that is not doing that, it's time to change. You will never be happy with your career or life if you are not doing what you were born to do. 

You will never find a happy ENTP as an accountant or brick layer (you can make a lot of money at those jobs btw, so its not about the money). You need to engage yourself in jobs that utilize your Ne + Ti. Period. 

Create. Invent. Explore. Just know that your talent is not easily translatable to the general population. You're an Extrovert but for all practical purposes, a lone wolf. Develop your people skills to interact better with the mundane physical world while at the same time working on generating unique possibilities that will set you ahead of everyone else in life. 

Ne can be your best friend or worst enemy. Be aware of it and don't get butt-hurt when people don't get you. Oh course not! You are talking about things that don't exist in their mind. You can see it, plain as day, but they can't. 

However, when you become an instant millionaire some day, everyone will wonder in amazement how you did it. They just thought you were an funny yet average guy. Then, you can tell your story. Then you can unleash your complete Ne + Ti and everyone will call you a genius. People will wish they had your talents. 

Okay, I am done rambling. Looking forward to people telling me what they think.


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## AmandaLee (Aug 13, 2014)

Awesome post! *two thumbs up* 

There should be one of these for every personality type. I might write one for INTJs if no one else is up for the task? *wink wink*


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## Draki (Apr 4, 2014)

really good post^^ now I want such a thing for INTPs 

EDIT: you should post it in the ENTP subforum so that all ENTPs can see it!


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## cookiemonster (Aug 26, 2014)

Wow awesome post!! I'm an entp female and everything you mentioned was spot on. Wish others could understand exactly what goes on in our brains


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## Satan Claus (Aug 6, 2013)

Completely agree with the INFJ and ENTP pairing being bullshit. I could never be in a relationship with an Ne dom they're way too all over the place. Sorry.


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## teddy564339 (Jun 23, 2010)

@The_Cold_Apple

I don't know tons about ENTPs, but that's one of my favorite ENTP posts I've ever read. I think part of it is that ENTPs joke around so much that it's hard for me to know when they're being serious, and sometimes when an ENTP puts up an air of what strikes me as overconfidence, it makes it harder for me to engage in conversations with them. But your post not only strikes me as accurate based on what I know about ENTPs, but I really like how it seems like a very honest mix of ENTP strengths and challenges, in addition to the solutions you offer. 


I really enjoyed reading it.


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## AmandaLee (Aug 13, 2014)

Satan Claus said:


> Completely agree with the INFJ and ENTP pairing being bullshit. I could never be in a relationship with an Ne dom they're way too all over the place. Sorry.


The INTJ's natural partner is supposed to be ENTP as well. Because apparently the dominant first function is best matched by someone with the inverted version of it. Can't say I agree. Ne-doms tend to confuse and frustrate me, and the feeling is (often) mutual.


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## Dedication (Jun 11, 2013)

I like that you defy the idiotic INTJ+ENTP combo. Understanding that Ne+Ni doesn't match is a valuable lesson.


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## Ahousan (Sep 2, 2014)

I am super impressed with this post. I have personal experience that matches your INTJ/INFJ stuff to the t. My INTJ friendship essentially consisted of me saying dumb things to provoke him into an argument for many years. I learned a lot from him this way, although he did look down on me for those years. I definitely agree that Ne needs to reign in the possibilities in virtually all interpersonal situations... especially with those Ni doms. That being said, I have one major disagreement with your post.

I am surprised that people don't understand the theory behind the IN*J/ENTP combination. Basically, types that share your dominant function are most likely to understand you (and vice versa). Thus, N-doms will understand other N-doms better than the other types. Since introverts and extroverts pair well (as well as J's to P's), it makes sense that EN*P's pair with IN*J's. That being said, I agree with you: I think the ENTP-INFJ pair makes a LOT more sense than ENTP-INTJ. You've both got Fe, although poorly developed/young ENTP's will drain almost any INFJ. The ENTP-INTJ combo does make sense, since they both are auxiliary thinking types. This will work as long as the ENTP's lack of concrete values (Fi) doesn't rub the INTJ the wrong way, and the INTJ's lack of general consideration for others (Fe) doesn't bother the ENTP (I know ENTP's can grow to have values, as INTJ's can be very considerate of others... these are broad terms). Even though these relationships seem tumultuous (they are), IN*J's will understand you better than any S-type given time.

Obviously, a relationship between an ENTP and any type can work. I also really agree with you logic about SJ's balancing out ENTP's well. Particularly, IS*F's have the dominant-inferior match with the ENTP type, which means we will be prone to admiring the other's strength (i.e. the ENTP will admire the stability/reliability of the IS*J's Si function, since it's the ENTP 4th function, while the IS*J will admire the fireworks display that is the ENTP's dominant Ne function). This could make for an awesome relationship! The SJ will help make sure the ENTP is a functioning member of society, while the ENTP spices up the SJ's life like no one else could. The problem here is the SJ will not understand the ENTP, and will always think of him/her as off-beat. Also, in my opinion there will always be something missing for the ENTP. 

I am drawing from two relationships with ISFJ's, and they are great, for real. They have the same stack as INFJ, but the INFJ dominant Ni is swapped with Si, and the inferior Se is swapped with Ne. Thus, they are quite similar to the "ideal" INFJ type, and have the dominant-inferior relationship as I discussed above. I've found that I click really well with IS*J types, but they don't understand me. Don't get me wrong, that's not a prerequisite for every relationship. My best friend is an ISTJ, and we've always had a great time hanging out. He has told me before that he understands my role in social circles and appreciates what I contribute (read: obnoxious ice-breaker/party-starter), but this is a superficial understanding of me as a person. My INFJ wife (yes, I'm biased ) has over the years come much closer to understanding me than anyone ever has.

Buyer beware: relationships with INFJ's take a TON of work, but that's a subject for a different thread


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