# being alone/ social stigmata



## NephilimAzrael (Oct 26, 2008)

Not really, there is no disgrace in a firm self-awareness and preference for solitude.. If you are berated by others as a loner on a regular basis, then maybe you have been stigmatized.. Getting defensive seems like you are stigmatizing yourself.


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## Psilo (Apr 29, 2009)

I don't think it's healthy to be alone all of the time, but I can relate to wanting to spend time mostly alone.

Pressure can come from two sources, internal and external. It feels like you are experience external pressure to socialize when it doesn't feel right to do so internally. 

Personally, I want to satisfy my inner world more than my outer world. I know it reflects badly onto me when I spend my weekends at home or when I have been "thinking" of moving towards my career but not having anything to show for it. What they don't see is the great strides I've made in my personal life. I'm a much more mature and well rounded person than even a year ago. I'm just not ready to move on, nor do I desire more socialization. Whoever would judge me negatively for that, well they don't have to live my life. 

What's more important to you, your life or how your present yourself to others? Try not to get bogged down with other people's problems.


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## Dharma Ga (Feb 5, 2009)

NephilimAzrael said:


> Not really, there is no disgrace in a firm self-awareness and preference for solitude.. If you are berated by others as a loner on a regular basis, then maybe you have been stigmatized.. Getting defensive seems like you are stigmatizing yourself.


Having been told myself by thou aka Mastermind, on another thread that I went off the subject of the thread, isn't this the same, and quite frankly a bit over the top? Do you honestly have that need for being right? even though someone is of a different opinion, their own opinion none the less, as to what they meant

Sorry Andrea, for nicking the thread about this.


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## NephilimAzrael (Oct 26, 2008)

Mercury said:


> Having been told myself by thou aka Mastermind, on another thread that I went off the subject of the thread, isn't this the same, and quite frankly a bit over the top? Do you honestly have that need for being right? even though someone is of a different opinion, their own opinion none the less, as to what they meant
> 
> Sorry Andrea, for nicking the thread about this.


I was finished Mercury.. By way of your own logic, I am also free to state my opinions and comment on discrepancies that I observe.. An opinion is never right or wrong, but it may be accurate or inaccurate.. Consider this issue suspended. I will not address your questions, for they are straw-men.
Thanks for your constructive criticism. 

Andrea, you placed your article here in the Advice centre.. I assert that the things which you describe are not stigmata.. Withdrawal as a single behaviour, when done by preference as you state, does not become a social stigma until it receives a specific response/discrimination. So is it you who views yourself as being defensive and thus stigmatizing yourself or is it others.
Please excuse my repetition, but I did not wish for an interruption in the line of a discourse.


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## CJay3113 (Dec 31, 2008)

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be alone. Some of us just appreciate it more often than others and at greater lengths. I do relate to the whole push/pull event. I think that pressure can be placed on one to socialize more without our knowledge. Personally, I don't like being alone, but I end up by myself longer than one should be. I can tell myself one thing, but I end up feeling or doing the opposite. I can stand family for some period of time, but in the past I didn't like being around my friends too often. And these days I don't have a social life so I'm with family all the time. It's not that I don't like people, it's just that they are too much to handle all at once. So I do what I want to stay happy/comfortable.


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## hotgirlinfl (May 15, 2009)

I hear you,I prefer to be alone also,wether I'm reading or just taking some time to myself,but I do like being with my friends and family also.


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