# When and why do infp play hard to get?



## nichya (Jul 12, 2014)

Well I think people are also forgetting that we are private individuals that really don't mind being alone. Also we don't like to be in situations just because..or because it is expected of one in the society. Of course I can't talk for all but I am very selective, and selective in having a deeper bond not in the way the society thinks.

I guess a friend of mine is an ESFP, she just can't understand why I say no to people, why I don't go on dates just to try and see, why I am not interested at all. She thinks everyone who is single is miserable, she has very clearly put it while talking about others. Well what can I say? Being in a relationship with a boy makes a large part for her existence and she doesn't really put too much weight on who the guy is, she is probably enneagram 2 as well. Truly and honestly, I just can't. It is not that I try to be hard to get but I think it might be the case for real. I felt an immediate mutual connection only once and I tried to push that side of me and I would if there weren't inconsistent behavior and a great ton of miscommunication. Those put me in a push & pull case I have mentioned before, so if you are direct and if I am into you chances are I will be more direct too. But even then, I know my mind will get there slowly and will be observing.


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## cantseemtofind (Dec 27, 2014)

A lot of times I don't even know i'm playing hard to get because I have no clue there is someone who's into me. I'm so bad at reading romantic signals. 

Also if I like someone I tend to be reluctant to reach out to them because I don't want to come across as clingy. I can't stand it when people smother me, so i'm scare of doing the same to someone else.


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## sushimuffin (Feb 19, 2015)

Honestly, I don't know that playing hard to get is specific to being INFP. I think that's something ... that immature people do...


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## HeartCartography (Mar 23, 2015)

I concur with so much that has been said. INFP's are introverts, so we don't mind spending time with our thoughts. Sometimes the idea of someone is so lovely, we forget to indulge in the actual real world. 

The real world can be scary. Not just for those with crushing pasts, but for anyone who wonders if feelings will be reciprocated or who fears failure.

As an INFP if I do not have feelings for someone and am being pursued by them, my actions could be perceived as playing hard to get. If the person was direct and outright asked I would clearly explain my lack of interest but be open to discussion. When they play games and try draw it out hoping I will like them, I become very uncomfortable and tend to withdraw.


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## StaceofBass (Jul 1, 2012)

Val37 said:


> Had no clue that "playing hard to get" was an INFP tactic.


I don't necessarily think it is. I don't play hard to get. It's generally easy to tell if I like you so there really is no need. I don't need to be chased really. The only thing is I want them to be kind of straightforward with me. I don't want to be playing the whole "they love me...they love me not" in my head. I hate playing guessing games with regards to love because it stresses me out and then it usually turns out my love was unrequited. I'm too old for game-players. Either you want me or you don't.


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