# Where is the strangest place you have masturbated?



## Hemoglobin (May 13, 2010)

bionic said:


> *Where is the strangest place you have masturbated?*
> 
> 
> Mine was in the confessional at church when I was 13 years old.
> ...


LMAO! Trust you to come up with a thread like this.....

Church... 
Detention
Public transport 

...very discrete though....


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## Immemorial (May 16, 2010)

SlowPoke68 said:


> I RECLAIM THIS THREAD IN THE NAME OF MALE MASTURBATION!!!!!!
> 
> :laughing:
> 
> And yes, that was the least creepy thing I could think of saying at this point.


Do you suffer from some sort of ailment that forces you to make your posts so stupidly hilarious?

On another note:-

I don't have to physically masturbate in order to climax...

*I can do it with my mind*.


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## SlowPoke68 (Apr 26, 2010)

DarkestHour said:


> Do you suffer from some sort of ailment that forces you to make your posts so stupidly hilarious?


Yeah, they call it "smartassism" and it's terminal. 

;-)


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## Trauma (May 7, 2010)

DarkestHour said:


> Do you suffer from some sort of ailment that forces you to make your posts so stupidly hilarious?
> 
> On another note:-
> 
> ...


So in a way you can blow your own mind?


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## Immemorial (May 16, 2010)

Trauma said:


> So in a way you can blow your own mind?


I can do *much *more than that.


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## SenhorFrio (Apr 29, 2010)

backyard(thats my favouite spot actually), tents, friends houses


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## thewindlistens (Mar 12, 2009)

I masturbated once on a school trip to the opera, when I was 12. It was really dark in there so I thought I might as well.


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## mrscientist (Jul 4, 2010)

DarkestHour said:


> I can do *much *more than that.


Do tell more


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## Immemorial (May 16, 2010)

mrscientist said:


> Do tell more


Aside from being able to make others orgasm with it? I'll leave it to your imagination.

Maybe one day, you will train your mind to do the same. :wink:


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## SaraBell (Jun 3, 2010)

In the middle of a crowded house party with one of those remote control vibrator bullets...fun party!


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## Tommy (Nov 25, 2009)

Nyx said:


> I'm gonna sound weird, but I have fun doing it around people just for the challenge of keeping them from noticing. As a result, I've done it in the family room while my whole family was watching a movie :mellow:


God! You are now the #1 greatest person I have ever heard about! Rawr!


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## knght990 (Jul 28, 2009)

I doubt any of these are really shocking but since you ask

through 3 states while i was driving on i-95 during the day in heavy traffic
as a passenger on a commercial flight
as a pilot on a private flight
in the back yard (we don't have fences) while playing hooky 
randomly in the woods on camping trips
at survival school in the camp shower while there was a line of guys waiting for the shower
behind the laundry machines in the dorm's coin laundry
i serviced a girlfriend in the movie theater during Armageddon 

that's all i can remember


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## SlowPoke68 (Apr 26, 2010)

knght990 said:


> I doubt any of these are really shocking but since you ask
> 
> through 3 states while i was driving on i-95 during the day in heavy traffic
> as a passenger on a commercial flight
> ...



Ewwwww . . . . that's disgusting.. . . 







You actually PAID to see Armageddon???? :wink:


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

Tommy said:


> God! You are now the #1 greatest person I have ever heard about! Rawr!


Ahhh, my ego needs no stroking, but thank you :happy:


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## SenhorFrio (Apr 29, 2010)

Nyx said:


> Ahhh, my ego needs no *stroking,* but thank you :happy:


 pun unintentional i'm sure:crazy:


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## Quin Sabe (Jan 26, 2010)

Standing on top of my roof at night.
In a hammock.
Standing on top of a railroad signal light.


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## Chilln (Aug 19, 2009)

Managed to get away with it in a plane once, there was this gorgeous woman in a yoga video where she showed each pose in detail on the back of the seat in front of me :crazy:. Thank god for those huge blankets they give you, everyone else near me was asleep and the lights were off.......so I was like ..fuck it.


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## obz900 (Mar 29, 2010)

On a packed bus. I casually walked to the bathroom before the BOOM though.


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## darlarosa (Jul 20, 2010)

Oh new one IMAX movie theater at a museum, pretty sure the guy next to me noticed because he kept looking over at me... I don't think I've ever quite enjoyed a nature film as much as that one


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

bionic said:


> *Where is the strangest place you have masturbated?*
> 
> 
> Mine was in the confessional at church when I was 13 years old.
> ...


That's halarious.



Nyx said:


> I'm gonna sound weird, but I have fun doing it around people just for the challenge of keeping them from noticing. As a result, I've done it in the family room while my whole family was watching a movie :mellow:


LOL, I've done the exact same thing.


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## tooboku (Jun 9, 2010)

Nyx said:


> I'm gonna sound weird, but I have fun doing it around people just for the challenge of keeping them from noticing. As a result, I've done it in the family room while my whole family was watching a movie :mellow:


You freak. I really wish you liked boys. wow. awkard. move on...



I used to do funny things a lot when I was 12. My very first time masturbating to ejaculation was in the livingroom watching Willy Wonka while my sisters were playing with dolls. Right under a blanket. No one knew. Then after discovering how awesome that was, I proceeded to every room in the house including my parent's bed. Also when I was 12, in the cabin of a 747 while staring at a Korean flight attendant.


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## darlarosa (Jul 20, 2010)

tooboku said:


> . Also when I was 12, in the cabin of a 747 while staring at a Korean flight attendant.


I hope the flight attendant was attractive


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## Liontiger (Jun 2, 2009)

In my friend's bed while she was out. Don't worry. I kept my pants on.


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## Immemorial (May 16, 2010)

In my mother's car, while she was in at her workplace to get something. Her workplace was right next to a road. roud:


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## Calvaire (Nov 14, 2009)

Not very strange compared to all of you
I feel boring haha.....

I would say In my roomates shower at college
I lived in a suite and had my own shower but I liked that one better
ALSO on our suite couch...naked I hope they had fun the next year sitting on it


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## bionic (Mar 29, 2010)

DarkestHour said:


> I don't have to physically masturbate in order to climax...
> 
> *I can do it with my mind*.


You mean your Ni, right?



SlowPoke68 said:


> I RECLAIM THIS THREAD IN THE NAME OF MALE MASTURBATION!!!!!!


You cannot claim this thread because:

1. I started it, therefore I own the rights to it.
2. I have a vagina thus your argument is invalid.
3. I have a vagina and it is an INTJ one.

ENTP Access Denied.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

I can see why you masturbated at church because the half naked Jesus statue always turned me on in my church. I masturbate and masturbated so much, it's hard to tell what a "weird place" is? I just masturbated in my girlfriend's bed. Is that weird?

I've done it in my car while driving. Sometimes I dont' have to touch myself to cum. I've done it parked on the side of a park. I've done it in a grocery store, I've done it at the dinner table without family knowing, I've done it in our swimming pool many times growing up. I've done it in trees, backyards, living rooms and dressing rooms. I used to do it on my tricycle. I've done it in closets, bathtubs and showers. I'm doing it now. (I've learned to type with one hand :wink

But I have not, will not masturbate with green eggs and ham! :laughing:


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

Oh Pink, your sexual open-ness is refreshing lol


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## bionic (Mar 29, 2010)

Nyx said:


> Oh Pink, your sexual open-ness is refreshing lol


It's lulworthy too. :laughing: I love it!

I actually masturbated in the confessional because I was bored when the priest was asking my sins. I didn't have many to state so I thought I'd do something bad just to add one more. :wink:


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

bionic said:


> It's lulworthy too. :laughing: I love it!
> 
> I actually masturbated in the confessional because I was bored when the priest was asking my sins. I didn't have many to state so I thought I'd do something bad just to add one more. :wink:


Hahaha! So i take it you didn't pull back the curtain?


Wait- I just also remembered some more. There was our Cabana in the back yard (dressing rooms for the swimming pool) I did it there lots! Also, in the shed and on top of it. It hurt too because the roof of the shed was made from gravel so when I laid down it kind of hurt my back while I was wiggling around. Also, I did it often in my club house.

One time I did it on my bunk bed by rubbing myself up and down on one of the posts that connect the top bunk to the bottum. And I was caught! But I thought I had found something really cool to do! I was all proud of myself and my new "game" but my mom and brother didn't look to proud of me. Whatever. 

Also, am I the only one who got off on those little quarter kiddy rides? You know the ones in front of grocery stores? I would "ride the pony". :laughing: I also remember masturbating once and my friend's house while her parents were in the living room and I was in the chair. It was sort of thrilling. Oh the green chair.:crazy:


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## SlowPoke68 (Apr 26, 2010)

bionic said:


> You cannot claim this thread because:
> 
> 1. I started it, therefore I own the rights to it.
> 2. I have a vagina thus your argument is invalid.
> ...



Ok, then in light of Pink's posts, please at least rename it "Where is the strangest place you HAVEN'T masturbated (yet)?"

Deal?

:wink:


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## bionic (Mar 29, 2010)

SlowPoke68 said:


> Ok, then in light of Pink's posts, please at least rename it "Where is the strangest place you HAVEN'T masturbated (yet)?"
> 
> Deal?
> 
> :wink:


Nah, you can create a new one. :tongue:


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

tooboku said:


> You freak. I really wish you liked boys. wow. awkard. move on...


I could make an exception :wink:
I should probably shut up since I'm 17 and I'm thinking that you're over the age of 18 :mellow:


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## OSKARR (Jul 5, 2010)

In class, a movie theater, with my friends around, etc.


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## Rogue Eagle (Oct 14, 2009)

I need to expand my habit.


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## kindaconfused (Apr 30, 2010)

driving my car driving on I-40 through New Mexico. Around 1pm. Tough to clean up afterwards.


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## Zic (Dec 30, 2009)

Well I usually take the safe route of pron and my room but I've made a few exceptions, like in a backyard on on the beach (heh). 
Once I was at my friends' and told him i haven't whacked in a week and that ima do it in his shower... he didn't object.
I was the first to shower.


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

Zic said:


> Well I usually take the safe route of *pron* and my room but I've made a few exceptions, like in a backyard on on the beach (heh).


It's pr0n...
Or where you trying to type 'porn'?


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## Equilibrium13 (Apr 18, 2010)

School bathroom or at friends places. I don't feel that stealthy, never have been a stealthy person, even though I'm really quiet, so I wait till they're asleep.


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## Liontiger (Jun 2, 2009)

Equilibrium13 said:


> School bathroom or at friends places. I don't feel that stealthy, never have been a stealthy person, even though I'm really quiet, so I wait till they're asleep.


I'm very stealthy. I can do it in the middle of the day with my door wide open. I've been walked in on several times and no one has noticed :laughing: Though it is a bit of a buzz kill...


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## limelight3 (Jul 27, 2010)

ummm...family van when I was like 8, driving cross country on a family vacation with all 5 of my family in the van. I'm suprised I wasn't caught. :crazy:

The Principals office...I'm ashamed to admit that one.:blushed:


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## Danse Macabre (Oct 30, 2009)

*Ok I think this is the first time ever that someone is embarrassed for NOT ever masturbating in an unconventional place. xD

*points at self**


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## limelight3 (Jul 27, 2010)

DanseMacabre said:


> *Ok I think this is the first time ever that someone is embarrassed for NOT ever masturbating in an unconventional place. xD*
> 
> **points at self**


 
haha that made me laugh. Well, dare to be different I say. :laughing:


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## SenRyuu (May 25, 2010)

If have to say my strangest places were in a tree in a park, or..... Well I think that's it. 

"hey look, that pussy's stuck in a tree"


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## sinistralpal (Apr 30, 2010)

I don't tend to masturbate in strange places, but I will get guys to finger me in strange places. So, like Nyx, in the family room watching a movie when my parents were there, on a subway, in a public pool with about 20 other people in there...

I dunno. I am an extrovert people! I need to have interaction and a partner in crime for it to be fun! 


....otherwise, I just feel a bit creepy.


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## Rogue Eagle (Oct 14, 2009)

This forum.


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## rowingineden (Jun 23, 2010)

Rogue Eagle said:


> This forum.


That's not strange at all. This forum is a sexy bitch.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

I masturbate in the bathroom, there's nowhere else I do that.


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## RainyDay (Jul 4, 2010)

sinistralpal said:


> I don't tend to masturbate in strange places, but I will get guys to finger me in strange places. So, like Nyx, in the family room watching a movie when my parents were there, on a subway, in a public pool with about 20 other people in there...
> 
> I dunno. I am an extrovert people! I need to have interaction and a partner in crime for it to be fun!
> 
> ...


*GASP! I hadda read that twice... In strange places you say? What like? Your earhole?.... Then I realised...


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## Antithesis (May 10, 2010)

Maths class... because I used to be able to cum by just crossing my legs really hard


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## bionic (Mar 29, 2010)

rowingineden said:


> That's not strange at all. This forum is a sexy bitch.


Of course this forum is a sexy bitch... 'Cause I AM A SEXY BITCH!


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## NinjaSwan (Nov 21, 2009)

_In my pants.
_You're supposed to read that in a creepy, hoarse whisper.


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## Atenza Coltheart (Apr 19, 2010)

In the classroom. Andd... in multiple bathrooms. And in my friend's bedroom XD; Yeahh...


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## OutcastGenius (Feb 22, 2010)

I don't masturbate. *shifty eyes*


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## Quin Sabe (Jan 26, 2010)

NinjaSwan said:


> _In my pants.
> _You're supposed to read that in a creepy, hoarse whisper.



Isn't it supposed to be;

In _your _pants

with the creepy horse whisper, coming from a dark corner, as wonder down a back alley?


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## CrabHammer (Jun 18, 2010)

This one should get some groans, the bad kind. In my seat on an airplane. Obviously I kept it low key.:blushed::blushed:


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## susurration (Oct 22, 2009)

L4NkYb said:


> This one should get some groans, the bad kind. In my seat on an airplane. Obviously I kept it low key.:blushed::blushed:


As soon as I saw this, "snakes on a plane" came to mind...


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## NinjaSwan (Nov 21, 2009)

Quin Sabe said:


> Isn't it supposed to be;
> 
> In _your _pants
> 
> with the creepy horse whisper, coming from a dark corner, as wonder down a back alley?


Have you ever walked around with jizz in your pants? It's a traumatizing experience.

Although I suppose having Humping Hank's man chowder in your pants wouldn't be much better...


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## Trauma (May 7, 2010)

NinjaSwan said:


> Have you ever walked around with jizz in your pants? It's a traumatizing experience.
> 
> Although I suppose having Humping Hank's man chowder in your pants wouldn't be much better...


Hey don't blame me for it.


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## Selden (May 24, 2009)

^lol I can't believe I tried to click the scroll buttons on your avatar^


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## Quin Sabe (Jan 26, 2010)

NinjaSwan said:


> Have you ever walked around with jizz in your pants? It's a traumatizing experience.
> 
> Although I suppose having Humping Hank's man chowder in your pants wouldn't be much better...


I can imagine, that's why I only do it other peoples pants, that way I don't have to deal with it, and I know they'll be thinking of me.


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## noosabar (Mar 14, 2010)

In the middle of a cotton feild on the Darling Downs during a lightning storm,
Standing atop an ocean headland sillouetted against the sky, I can only imagine the beachgoers below bewildered by the mysterious figure masterbating above.


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## Rogue Eagle (Oct 14, 2009)

noosabar said:


> In the middle of a cotton feild on the Darling Downs during a lightning storm,
> Standing atop an ocean headland sillouetted against the sky, I can only imagine the beachgoers below bewildered by the mysterious figure masterbating above.


This one made me laugh


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## Miss Scarlet (Jul 26, 2010)

SlowPoke68 said:


> I RECLAIM THIS THREAD IN THE NAME OF MALE MASTURBATION!!!!!!
> 
> :laughing:
> 
> And yes, that was the least creepy thing I could think of saying at this point.


If I had been in a chair when I read this, I totally would have fallen out of it! AWESOME!!


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## Miss Scarlet (Jul 26, 2010)

This is the COOLest thread ever. I'm so horny now.


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## Miss Scarlet (Jul 26, 2010)

OutcastGenius said:


> I don't masturbate. *shifty eyes*


I LOVE your picture!!!!!


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

I've actually masturbated in the bathroom of my college before, when the cleaning lady pissed me off.


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

Selden said:


> ^lol I can't believe I tried to click the scroll buttons on your avatar^


Nope...it's a trick to get people to visit his page!


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

Ok, add public library to my list


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## darlarosa (Jul 20, 2010)

>_> I've done it in a library ....I like to dirty the pages of books with light smears of well...it's a kink I guess. Oh and a new one my friends back yard wearing her shorts while her dog watched. I was dog sitting.


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

darlarosa said:


> >_> I've done it in a library ....I like to dirty the pages of books with light smears of well...it's a kink I guess. Oh and a new one my friends back yard wearing her shorts while her dog watched. I was dog sitting.


lol, you are my kind of girl


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## Andvari (Jul 29, 2010)

yeahhh... this thread is great!  and you guys are crazy >.>

I like half-did it in school once while the teacher was talking, then someone in the room had to stand up to answer a question...........

Lucky it was the guy next to me and not me. O_O


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## Quin Sabe (Jan 26, 2010)

Andvari said:


> yeahhh... this thread is great!  and you guys are crazy >.>
> 
> I like half-did it in school once while the teacher was talking, then someone in the room had to stand up to answer a question...........
> 
> Lucky it was the guy next to me and not me. O_O


Yeah, that's why guys can't really do it in public, way too noticeable, plus we got do something when we finish or be quite uncomfortable and slightly smelly by the end of the day.


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## Andvari (Jul 29, 2010)

Oh yah, that reminds me, on the other side of a frosted pane while my mum was talking with her friend in the other room o.o


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## CrabHammer (Jun 18, 2010)

Oh yeah, in a bathroom in the basement of my church. (I'm going to hell)


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## darlarosa (Jul 20, 2010)

NatetheGreat said:


> lol, you are my kind of girl


heh heh the risk is half the fun >D


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

darlarosa said:


> heh heh the risk is half the fun >D


Exactly, the risk of getting caught gets my heart beating about a thousand miles a minute. IT'S GREAT!


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## darlarosa (Jul 20, 2010)

NatetheGreat said:


> Exactly, the risk of getting caught gets my heart beating about a thousand miles a minute. IT'S GREAT!


It's the pure unadulterated adrenaline combined with pure arousal. It's invigorating to say the least. I love going up until I get caught, I once was right by the front door minutes away from my mother walking in


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## Andvari (Jul 29, 2010)

I got horny again ^^


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## bionic (Mar 29, 2010)

You are all a bunch of sick fucks. <3

I would thank you all but I'm too Ni for that right now.


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