# INFP's for dummies: A manual



## samarium (Aug 6, 2014)

1. How are you in relationships?
I've never been in one. I can imagine I would be very romantic, loyal, affectionate, and would do my absolute best to make sure my partner is happy with me, and happy in general.
2. How do you do conversations?
I am very shy and awkward around new people. I like to listen much more than I like to speak. If you're a close friend or family, I am easygoing and amiable. 
3. What are your emotional needs?
I need to be loved, cared about, reassured that im not as horrible as I think I am. And depending on the person, shown lots of affection. I also need to have my feelings reciprocated. 
4. What are your physical needs? (I.e, lots of freedom, etc)
Space, time, freedom.
5. How are you in social settings? 
Very shy, awkward, quiet, basically a wallflower
6. How do you react when upset?
it depends. Sometimes I will raise my voice, other times I will just keep it inside, other times I will explain the reasons for my anger calmly
7. How do you react when stressed/sad?
I go really crazy inside. I get hurt very, very easily. I just dwell on things, let it build up. I keep it all inside and then let things leak until I cant take it anymore
8. Whats your love language? 
Hm?
9a. Do you enjoy your alone time?
Yes. So much.
9b. What do you do for fun?
I like poetry, music, talking to people, helping them. 
10. What are your Strengths/Weaknesses?
I have a very high emotional intelligence, im creative, loyal, nice, and I have too many weaknesses to list.
11. How can someone get on your good side?
Be a nice person who wants to speak to me.
12. What do you value the most?
A good heart.
13. What do you feel is the biggest misconception of your type?
That were illogical all the time and that we're weak
14.Bottom line about INFPs?
Theyre awesomeeeeee!!


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## Summery (Mar 29, 2014)

*1. How are you in relationships?*

Depends, I'm different with every person. I have many sides and put on different faces by different people. The more intense the relationship (the better the connection), the more I will open up and show them my deepest Fi-thoughts = the parts of me that haven't seen the light in a long time/yet. But this connections are rare, VERY rare.

*2. How do you do conversations?*
Really, depends with who I'm talking with. But I prefer the people with whom I can talk about all my random, deep stuff. I tend to put on masks with people that don't know me yet, just listen to them, being kind, acting ordinary. With the people I connect on a deeper level with, I will first be a bit shy, but then I will talk about things beyond the smalltalk, and the listening to other people. I will share more of my own thoughts and feelings, about myself.

*3. What are your emotional needs?*
Experiencing deeper connections (see above) is really important for me. I hate it when 2 people are both 'blahblahblah -blahblahblah- 2 masks talking against each other. I don't see the point in that. I crave depth immensely. I don't need much, I just need a few inner-circle people in my life, that's all. Don't need to be liked and accepted by everyone and everybody because most of them are so shallow, all I need is some meaningful soul-undressing connections. 

*4. What are your physical needs? (I.e, lots of freedom, etc)*
Don't need much, just some introvert time to reflect I guess, that's all.

*5. How are you in social settings? *

-One on one: friendly, accepting, interested in others, sometimes silly...
-Groups: Quiet. VERY quiet. I prefer to observe and listen. Even a bit shy when I have to speak up for everyone.

*6. How do you react when upset?*
I'm seldom upset. But when I am, it's very explosive and I can't stop talking, it will be about ideas, visions, an opinion. I"m not really going to offend you, but it may be possible I let out my anaylitical view of you. When I'm upset, I will talk about ideas. I will seldom talk about my feelings in a direct way. My extrovert-communication-tool is extraverted intuition. 


*7. How do you react when stressed/sad?*

I cry, or I walk around a bit moody, but doesn't take it seriously, it passes quickly. 

*8. Whats your love language? *
I don't really believe in that theory. I'm a mixture of all. But the more I love you, the more I will let you in.

*9a. Do you enjoy your alone time?*
Yeah. If I don't have time to reflect, I even suffer it really hard.

*9b. What do you do for fun?*
Thinking about live, about society, about all kind of deeper aspects, doing research, enjoying literature-related-things, writing...., listening to music. Dwelling in the depth of life, that's what I'm doing most of the times.

*10. What are your Strengths/Weaknesses?*
-People say I have a lot of talents; I'm creative and have great insights in people and society-issues. 
-I'm myself, I don't need to be liked and accepted by everybody, I'm very stable at the core
-I'm great at helping individuals, listen to them, making people feel accepted...
-My weakness; I struggle with insecurity-issues sometimes, I appear more confident then I am on the inside, sometimes I feel like I'm ''less'' then other people, extraverts, but that has to do with my past, where everybody thought of me as boring and strange, due to my introversion. I still betray myself on it sometimes; that I think I'm less because I'm not a go-with-the-flow-girl. Like; there's no change that ENFJ would chose me, when he's befriended with all those typical girl-friend-material-kind-of-girls. I know it doesn't make logical sense, but I betray myself on that kind of thinking, I carry my past with me, and I think my self-image is sometimes my weakness. 

*11. How can someone get on your good side?*

Everyone is automatically on my good side, it's much harder to get on my bad side. 
But do you mean? How someone becomes special? - Connecting with me on a deeper level.

*12. What do you value the most?*
Genuine interest.

*13. What do you feel is the biggest misconception of your type?*
-That people forget that cognitive functions aren't a way to classify individuals. But that cognitive functions-combinations lead to certain behaviour, struggles, attitudes... But it says nothing about health or intelligence.
That's all; but INFP's are naieve, all of them are dark and depressive, only dream, don't do, are all individual colors inside a shared INFP-shape.


*14.Bottom line about INFPs?*
Nope.


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## Tangled Kite (Apr 16, 2014)

1. How are you in relationships?
Never been in a romantic relationship. With friends and family I'm generally a good listener and supporter.

2. How do you do conversations?
In general I'll only talk if the subject interests me or otherwise I'll just be floundering for something to say. With small talk I can either be a robot on a good day and just say the usual boring things that are expected or I can just completely freeze and say the dumbest stuff on a bad day.

3. What are your emotional needs?
Love and acceptance. It is an immediate turn off for me if I feel like you're judging me. 

4. What are your physical needs? (I.e, lots of freedom, etc)
Air to breath (clean), food to eat (healthy), water to drink (clean), a roof over my head (doesn't have to be big and impressive but just comfortable and visually appealing), someone to love (not sure what I'm looking for in that department).

5. How are you in social settings? 
In big group settings I might as well just be a fly on the wall and I'll most likely be wanting to go home within 5 minutes of getting there. In small group settings with people I don't know well I'll speak when I feel comfortable to speak after I've gaged the acceptance level of the group. With people I know well I'll speak and joke freely and on a good day inject witty comments into the conversation.

6. How do you react when upset?
If it's possible I'll retreat into my cave, brood, and think about what I could have done differently. Otherwise I turn red, start to sweat, and I don't know what to say. If I say anything it would most likely be nonsensical word vomit that I would immediately regret.

7. How do you react when stressed/sad?
I go off somewhere by myself and go on whisper rants because I don't want anyone to hear. I pray to God. And after the initial outburst I distract myself with the internet or a movie.

8. Whats your love language? 
Uhhh... well I only speak one language and that's English. Is there a class I can join that teaches this mysterious love language? 

9a. Do you enjoy your alone time?
I do very much but if I'm alone for too long I start to feel lonely. The thing is when I go into hermit mode and suddenly don't contact anyone they assume that I'm mad at them and don't bother me at all. It's a delicate balance.

9b. What do you do for fun?
I like to go on walks, read, watch movies, internet, do art projects, go out and take photographs. If I had any real friends I would be up for going on all kinds of adventures like skydiving, backpacking across Europe and the like. Somehow I don't think people expect me to like doing that sort of thing but I actually am a thrill seeker. 

10. What are your Strengths/Weaknesses?
Strengths: Forgiving, non judgmental, good listener, empathetic, caring, patient, funny (if you get my humor), creative, insightful
Weaknesses: Socially awkward, too quiet, not very confident, don't open up easily, apparently appear unapproachable as people are always asking me why I look so sad or telling me to smile

11. How can someone get on your good side?
Just be a good person. I like people who are considerate of others, aren't self important, patient, non judgmental, thoughtful, and genuine.

12. What do you value the most?
Ummm... about what?

13. What do you feel is the biggest misconception of your type?
That we are stupid, innocent puppies that you have to be very careful around. I know that it can sound like we're always sad and walk around with our feelings hurt all the time but that's just the way we talk and sharing those emotions comes easy for us. I think for types that aren't as in tune with those emotions it can come off as being too strong and as a result we seem suicidal or depressed. In most cases, we're just venting and some part of us (for me at least) actually revels in the melancholy (yes, strange I know). Especially on here since we've finally found a place were we can express those emotions with people who might understand.

As for the appearing dumb part - we really do have a lot going on upstairs. It's just that we're not always able to express what we're thinking in the most coherent manner. I know that for myself when I'm trying to explain something verbally my words don't always follow my train of thought exactly. So, even though the idea that I'm trying to express makes complete sense I might only be giving that person part of the picture that's running through my mind, but I don't realize this is happening until that person gives me that look that tells me they didn't understand a word I was saying. Then they just write me off as being stupid or something.

14.Bottom line about INFPs?
We're people too and just want to be treated with the same respect you'd expect for yourself and not as some child or thing that needs to be looked after.


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## Awkwardacious (Aug 11, 2014)

*1. How are you in relationships?*
I think I'd be good in romantic relationships (never been in one so..). INFP's are famous for being hopeless romantics right? I do think I tend to fall on the very emotional side. I cry easily. I hate that. And I think my future partner might find that unattractive, so I'll try to fix that part of myself.

*2. How do you do conversations?*
Hehe, awkward.

*3. What are your emotional needs?*
I wanna be understood, respected, needed, loved.

*4. What are your physical needs? (I.e, lots of freedom, etc)*
You just answered the question for me! For now, freedom is all I need.

*5. How are you in social settings? *
Horrible, oh gods.

*6. How do you react when upset?*
I would need to isolate myself from the world for a (long) while. I don't usually show that I'm upset to people, though. I always show my fake happy-go-happy side. I'm so good at acting. I should be an actress.

*7. How do you react when stressed/sad?*
I stay quiet. And, like when upset, I would need some time alone.

*8. Whats your love language?* 
Sincere smiles and honest laughters.

*9a. Do you enjoy your alone time?*
No matter how much I enjoy being alone, I need to force myself to go out to the world to try and "socialize", even if it means I just follow my "friends" around and say absolutely nothing because my words don't matter to them at all most of the time. 

*9b. What do you do for fun?*
- Chat with people I'm close to...online
- Go through the PerC forums to find out there are actually so many people like me
- Pretend to sleep so I could daydream
- Sleep
- Watch my favorite celebrity (whose name I won't mention because I actually hate him too) on Youtube
- Sketch
- Write, even though I most likely wouldn't ever finish it
- Sing when no one's around
- Play my PS Vita
- Watch...adult things...because...I'm an adult, ahem
- Read fan fiction every now and then because they're pretty damn good
- Force myself to think unthinkable things, just to train my brain and imagination
- Talk to myself pretending like I'm so cool
- Skype good old friends
- Scroll through my Facebook news feed and press like on everything I find amusing...which is a lot of things
- Watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians because like, oh my god, I have no idea why really #guiltypleasure

*10. What are your Strengths/Weaknesses?*
Strengths: People instantly trust me because they think I'm such a good person. Well.... Maybe I am.
Weaknesses: The typical general INFP weaknesses, I guess. Being emotional and irrational, mostly.

*11. How can someone get on your good side?*
Make me feel like I'm a person, basically.
Many people have "befriended" me, but only was there with me when they needed me or when they had absolutely nobody else to hang out with. That honestly really makes me feel like trash.

*12. What do you value the most?*
"_Honesty_ is such a lonely word 
Everyone is so untrue"
- Billy Joel's 'Honesty'

*13. What do you feel is the biggest misconception of your type?*
That we're weak, immature, and way overly emotional. Sigh. Maybe that's true on some parts, but not all of us are like that. We're actually pretty damn strong, considering we go through the mishap in life of having a too-kind heart... If others had our heart, maybe they'd understand why we perceive things the way we do, and why we seem to get a tad emotional over things. The world's just a scary place for us, sometimes.

*14.Bottom line about INFPs?*
We're really nice people. Probably the nicest of the nicest, but I may be biased here.
Try and get to know us a little more. Once you've broken through our walls, you'll be surprised what great friends we can be.


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## TTD187 (Dec 20, 2012)

Ooooo, this thread as intrigued me! I'll answer the questions.

*1. How are you in relationships?
*
It depends on the relationships, some are better than others, but overall, I'm pretty bad, I think.
Romantic relationships are my favourite, but I've only had one girlfriend and it lasted only three weeks and I didn't really like her. I tend to remain quiet when I like someone. I do like someone. And she likes me I think. We have a great relationship with each other! We make each other laugh and we share things with each other and we talk for really long periods of time. She makes me put my introversion aside 

I'm not so good at holding onto friendships because much of the time, I think people get bored of me or they annoy me and I end up telling them that they're pissing me off.

*2. How do you do conversations*

Terribly! I tend to be way too quiet when speaking to people, make no sense or become incredibly blunt or talk for too long or I go off topic extremely easily. Sometimes though, with some people, I can keep on topic because it's interesting. When there's more than 2 of us, I tend to not speak very much.
*
3. What are your emotional needs?
*
Fuzzles. I need a constant supply of fuzzles from special people (actually just one person, if it's more than one, it'll confuse me and hurt me and I'll feel bad). It's really hard to explain but fuzzles is how it comes out to me.

*4. What are your physical needs? (I.e, lots of freedom, etc)
*
I do like to have freedom. But a big thing for me is space to breathe! Even among the closest people to me, I'll need to have some time in a dark room completely alone to be happy. I also need quiet too. If I'm in a room alone, I do need the quiet, but people present with quietness is enjoyable.

*5. How are you in social settings? 

*Really quiet. I don't tend to speak unless I'm spoken to.

*6. How do you react when upset?

*Sit in my room listening to music or complaining about it to myself or writing about it to myself with it never becoming anything.

*7. How do you react when stressed/sad?

*Shut down :/ I tend to over-procrastinate which then happens for weeks so I get nothing done.

*8. Whats your love language? 

**takes the test* physical touch

*9a. Do you enjoy your alone time?

*Most definitely!

*9b. What do you do for fun?

*I read, watch funny things, think about interesting concepts and how they can turn out. I think about what makes me happy a lot.

*10. What are your Strengths/Weaknesses?

*Strength - I think I'm creative
Weakness - I'm not very confident

Strength - I'm compassionate about those you I care for
Weakness - I'm terrible at showing my compassion >.<

*11. How can someone get on your good side?

*I can't really answer this. I feel that if I dislike someone, to get on my good side takes a lot of effort, and I wouldn't ask someone to get on my good side anyway. If they have to work for it, should they really be there anyway?

*12. What do you value the most?

*There are individuals who mean a lot to me. I value their wellbeing a great deal.

*13. What do you feel is the biggest misconception of your type?

*We live only in fantasy worlds and have no sense of reality -.- but I actually say hello to the friends who live in reality once a year!

*14.Bottom line about INFPs?

*We're not cubbly toys >.<


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