# very confused regarding my type.. and not so confused.. help:p



## Nicko (Dec 6, 2011)

Saw a similar topic of a young fella wanting some clarity regardin his type.. decided to take his example and vent off my own confusion aswell.

Thing is, is seems to me that I swap personality types quite often.. or mix them, Im not sure, not even if that is possible at all.. hence all the confusion.

When I'm alone or dealing with personal issues, whether my own or someone asking my advice/opinion I'm INFJ to the bone.. and behind the scenes in every situation I'm also INFJ so that much is clear to me that it's the type that's most visible at most times with me.

But depending on the situation I take on very different personality traits.
Like when I'm with friends I suddenly become very spontaneous and impulsive
(this started for the reason that I didn't want to be boring, but exciting and fun to be around)
but I'm sometimes like this when I'm with family members aswell, like yesterday when I was driving my moms to my grandmother I suddenly decided to start drifting on the icy roads.. she was scared but hell, she needs alittle excitement in her life

Other thing is, as an INFJ I'm supposed to be very emotional with people.. which I'm not at all. What INFJ's describe when they experience interactions with people in terms on how they themselves react, feel and think is identical to myself, even when I'm being unpredictable, sometimes straight out rude to people just for the heck of it... somewhere along the line before I say something I think "ah to hell with it" 
But like I said, we're supposed to be very emotional with people.. attached or something, which I can't seem to work out at all. I treat people _generally_ like all INFJ's and I do develop bonds with them, of this I'm sure. But when I loose people I've developed bonds with, either through them leaving or even dying it doesn't take me as much as minutes to get over it.. 

couple of very good friends I've known for over a year and hung out with almost on a daily basis ever since left for good 2 weeks ago, my final words when one of them said while he was reaching for the car door "you know this is probably the last time we speak?" I said "yea well, shit happens, now fuck off" in a jokingly unserious manner, then I went and bought a kebab, went home and watched a movie, fell asleep.. that's it.

Lost my grandmother who I was close with last year aswell, I didn't feel a thing about it.. "well that sucks.." was my initial reaction and words to the news... that was it, nothing else. Not sadness, grief or missing her afterwards.
Only reason I felt the urge to cry during her funeral was because everyone else was crying, but I didn't cry.. only one who didn't I think.. think the last time I cried was when my dog died infront of me when I was around 10-11 years old.

One time a couple of years ago while me and a buddy was walking through some back-alleys in a shortcut to a party two guys approached us.. we were pretty high on maryjane at the time so my memory of it all its pretty foggy but somehow one of them ended up with my buddy's money and I jumped him and put him on the ground, kicked him, grabbed the money and walked off with my buddy.. <-- This isn't INFJ behavior at all, that I'm sure off

I've been in plenty of heated brawls, including even stabbed a guy in the leg in self-defense, slept like a baby few hours after, not even curious as to what happened with him after he rolled off me and I ran from the scene.


In a way I'm always INFJ, but only inside my own head, except for when people share their issues with me looking for opinions or advice.. while behavior wise I seem much more ST.. my F seems handicapped in terms interacting with people, like internally I feel like an INFJ during interactions, but in terms of behavior as in what I say and I act ST.. that thing I had when I was younger when I felt really bad if I even had a slightest suspicion I could've hurt someone by saying or doing something.. that thing isn't there anymore.. except regarding bigger things, I'm pretty sure I would feel like complete shit if I somehow ruined someones life.


I think I should add that as a kid I was always very timid, insecure and nervous and I wanted to be like the cool guys in my class, who I now identify as ST. That didn't change much til my second year of highschool, with the help of a lot of home drama and drugs .. I think that's when this change in me happened and made me who I am today.

I should also add that I've been somewhat depressed throughout my entire life, the feeling of being completely alone have been a faithful and loyal friend to me even throughout my relationships, friendly or the more intimate ones.

I've read that a lot of INFJ's are wannabe ST's so I wouldn't blame you for suspecting me to just be that, all I ask for is a serious evaluation of what I've written and a serious opinion to whatever conclusion that brings dear fella who reads it.

Feel free to ask questions, I know that what I wrote isn't exactly easy to read through or connect together, pretty chaotic really.. but that's the way confusion works


----------



## Nicko (Dec 6, 2011)

Reading through this, maybe I just lack a conscious most of the time..


----------



## Kanerou (Oct 8, 2009)

Hi. First of all, if you're looking to determine your Socionics type, you should leave your MBTI type out of it. Don't refer to "I'm INFJ this" or "I'm not INFJ that". Not everyone in this subforum knows or cares much about JCF, so that's not really helpful. Also, try to avoid referring to dichotomies or functions as a shortcut. Tell us about you. Elaborate on the mindsets and behaviors that you're ascribing to these categories you mention so that we have an idea of what we're working with. If you'll look in the "What's My Type?" section of this subforum, you'll find a questionnaire you can fill out. It's not the best thing ever, but it may prove useful.

Finally, I do have a shallow impression, but I'd like to see more from you before I mention it, in order to see if I'm on the right track.


----------



## Nicko (Dec 6, 2011)

Kanerou said:


> Hi. First of all, if you're looking to determine your Socionics type, you should leave your MBTI type out of it. Don't refer to "I'm INFJ this" or "I'm not INFJ that". Not everyone in this subforum knows or cares much about JCF, so that's not really helpful. Also, try to avoid referring to dichotomies or functions as a shortcut. Tell us about you. Elaborate on the mindsets and behaviors that you're ascribing to these categories you mention so that we have an idea of what we're working with. If you'll look in the "What's My Type?" section of this subforum, you'll find a questionnaire you can fill out. It's not the best thing ever, but it may prove useful.
> 
> Finally, I do have a shallow impression, but I'd like to see more from you before I mention it, in order to see if I'm on the right track.


I'll see what I can do about your requests, thanks for the advice btw, wasn't aware of that.


----------



## Boolean11 (Jun 11, 2012)

Nicko said:


> Saw a similar topic of a young fella wanting some clarity regardin his type.. decided to take his example and vent off my own confusion aswell.
> 
> Thing is, is seems to me that I swap personality types quite often.. or mix them, Im not sure, not even if that is possible at all.. hence all the confusion.
> 
> ...


IF you know your JFC functions are NiFeTiSe, then INFp is your dynamic cognitive lense type, whereas if you are looking for your caricature type, How you subjectively fit into the descriptions then take this test: http://personalitycafe.com/whats-my-socionics-type/121648-socionics-type-questionnaire.html


----------



## Kanerou (Oct 8, 2009)

Nicko said:


> I'll see what I can do about your requests, thanks for the advice btw, wasn't aware of that.


You're welcome. As you can see from the above post, it's a pretty big point of controversy in the subforum. The schools of thought are split between those who say, "Functions and IM elements are defined differently, so they shouldn't be mixed" and those who say, "Functions and IM elements are defined differently, but the authors just had different ways of describing the same process, so any differences in the writings should be ignored".

Anyway, good luck finding your type.


----------



## Boolean11 (Jun 11, 2012)

@Nicko

The two typing systems in Socionics will give you two different Socionics types, which affects your inter-type relationships. Socionics is a very broad theory with a lot behind it, the cognitive focus (JFC version) doesn't correlate with the behaviour focus that looks outward.


----------



## Boolean11 (Jun 11, 2012)

Kanerou said:


> You're welcome. As you can see from the above post, it's a pretty big point of controversy in the subforum. The schools of thought are split between those who say, "Functions and IM elements are defined differently, so they shouldn't be mixed" and those who say, "Functions and IM elements are defined differently, but the authors just had different ways of describing the same process, so any differences in the writings should be ignored".
> 
> Anyway, good luck finding your type.


Have the decency to add "*dynamic*" to the second method.

A lot about the core theory can be edited away, the physiognomy stuff is a beginning, some of Reininn's crazy ideas attempting to place people in odd binary categories, several other weird stuff such claims that the theory is scientific...

The core of the theory lies in the inter-type relations and the "functions": Information Metabolisms.


----------



## Kanerou (Oct 8, 2009)

Boolean11 said:


> Have the decency to add "*dynamic*" to the second method.


What does "dynamic" mean to you, that the exclusion of this word utterly wrecks the presentation of your views?


----------



## Nicko (Dec 6, 2011)

Forgot I filled out that questionairy not so long ago. 
You can read it here http://personalitycafe.com/whats-my...-anyone-care-take-shot-community-nutcase.html
Seems I ended up concluding with being an EIE.


Alright so now to my mindset...
I'm very sensitive to the moods of the people around me and I wish for them to be happy in every manner possible, I sometimes when I see the opportunity try and make them improve themselves, whether it's giving my teamleader a book leadership, pushing my friend to make contact with the pretty girl at the bar or something minor as letting a friend win an argument over me simply because s/he needs it in one way or another.
I don't like people knowing when I help them, one reason is that is the only way I wish to be altruistic because then I won't have to deal with getting full of myself in one way or another. Other reason is that its easier to help people when they don't know you're helping them.


I don't feel scared of opening up to people(still, maybe I am), but I would never do so for a reason I have yet to discover. 
(except on the internet where I can't be recognized irl apparently) :3
However I do open up when I feel people need me to, but I never open enough to reveal the true me.. just enough to satisfy their need to feel close to me. 
However if someone keeps pushing to get through to the true me I'll push back to the extent of almost or completely pushing said fella out of my life.


In interactions with strangers it depends on who I'm with, if I'm with friends I'm unpredictable except that whatever I do usually always promotes fun.. stuff. If I'm alone seeing a stranger in need of help I help in any way that I can. Passing by random strangers I ignore them and avoid eye contact. Now if a stranger acts hostile I'll try to avoid a fight at first, calm said fella down in most cases, if I get attacked my instincts take over and I'll fight back.
And as mentioned, I will not feel bad about it, I have not killed anyone or made permanent damages to somebody, but there have been times where I didn't know whether what I just did actually killed or made permanent damages to somebody and I still didn't feel bad or even curious about it. I just let it go. 
On the other hand, even tho I'm acting on instincts I never try to do something that harmful to someone during a fight except when I've really had to. 


When I'm alone I become very philosophical and reflective, and I spend my time alone doing either this, play videogames or working on a hobby.. play guitar, photoshop visual art, fruityloops, write lyrics/poetry or even sing. My favorite type of music are the very emotional ones, not in the complaining way but music such as William Fitzsimmons, nExow, Jose Gonzales, Tom Day.. even James Blunts sometimes.. varies between acoustic guitar w/ vocals to piano w/ vocals or without for that matter to the most lowbeat chillstep.
I also like to go out at night, to somewhat isolated places with a great view to listen to music, smoke mj and just philosophy, reflect on things. Or if I'm feeling more energic I go to the basketball court and do it while playing b-ball alone instead.
I also daydream somewhat frequently when I'm alone.


When I'm friends with someone I do whatever I can do make that person have a happy mood, and I care a lot for said person, however when said person leaves .. my thoughts sounds like the following "oh it's that time again, well that's just how it is, I'm glad I got to know this person, goodbye" and that's it. When someone I've cared for dies, it's pretty similar, just thoughts and close to none emotions involved except for alittle sadness when I initially hear the news, sadness that's gone as soon as "oh it's that time again" has gone through my mind.


In intimate relationships I am completely functional (except for the opening up completely part) but here I don't push back if girly tries to break inn.. I do try to let them in. However, as soon as a breakup is on the rise I don't feel much emotion at all anymore. Not sadness over it or anger, like I just shut my emotions off completely and only think rationally about it. 
In the aftermath of a breakup I'm pretty quick at putting the entire relationship behind me, little to less emotions involved..

All in on I'm a very normal guy, it's just the issue I have where it seems I lack emotions I wanna figure out.. I realize it's probably a good thing to some degree, but it can just aswell be a bomb waiting to blow. Lack of conscious during certain situations, lack of emotions during certain events in my life, are these lacks something that I'm running out of? In a couple of years will I just be a stonecold bastard without a conscious at all?

Since I've been somewhat depressed throughout my entire life, and my doctor is just as stumbled as me when explaining this to her she's signed me up for a neuro-psychological analysis where they basically test me from any and every angle to find out what is wrong.. or at least, what is not normal.

I've written down everything I could think off that might be relative.. let me know if I left something out that you need.


----------



## Boolean11 (Jun 11, 2012)

Nicko said:


> Forgot I filled out that questionairy not so long ago.
> You can read it here http://personalitycafe.com/whats-my...-anyone-care-take-shot-community-nutcase.html
> Seems I ended up concluding with being an EIE.
> 
> ...


You could a thinker for all we know feeling judgement has little to do with emotions, its an objective reasoning system. Thinkers fall into periods of emotions too. Keep an open-mind


----------

