# Should I finish or say Fuck it?



## FlightsOfFancy (Dec 30, 2012)

Ok so it's probably no secret to many that I suffer from 2 disorders that can be kind of debilitating. I tried to make it work this semester, but I was far too tired to do anything aside from sleep/surf the web (leaving my room/house is a struggle). I had no appetite etc. 

I'm 26, and I just left my master's program. I am wondering if it's worth finishing next year as I will be 27 and complete it when I am 28 (almost 30). It will be in computer science. The reason I am hesitant is because I have not have 'serious' jobs (internships/run-of-the-mill jobs) since then and am not sure if this will keep me from being hired. Also, I feel old on campus.

What say you?


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

I say fuck it and return as Fights of Fancy...the White.

Actually, I'd say complete your education if you feel you need it to be successful. And I'm sure you've heard it enough that you could scream, but you need to find some personal motivation.


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## FlightsOfFancy (Dec 30, 2012)

Crono91 said:


> I say fuck it and return as Fights of Fancy...the White.
> 
> Actually, I'd say complete your education if you feel you need it to be successful. And I'm sure you've heard it enough that you could scream, but you need to find some personal motivation.


Eh I did try but I just couldn't do anything but sleep (I think I was depressed because I was about to fly to Switzerland for Phenobarbital about a week ago for suicide.)....I'm working on medication balancing. I'm just hoping the gaps don't ostracize me from employment.

It's quite hard to do this with suicide desires; I had no motivation to even eat or awake so Theorhetical Computation and Turing Machines were yeah.

Also, I'm kind of embarassed to return because people know about my history now.


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

FlightsOfFancy said:


> Eh I did try but I just couldn't do anything but sleep (I think I was depressed because I was about to fly to Switzerland for Phenobarbital about a week ago for suicide.)....I'm working on medication balancing. I'm just hoping the gaps don't ostracize me from employment.
> 
> It's quite hard to do this with suicide desires; I had no motivation to even eat or awake so Theorhetical Computation and Turing Machines were yeah.
> 
> Also, I'm kind of embarassed to return because people know about my history now.


Well I can say depression is a complicated field; while it can be due to a medical imbalance in need of balancing, a fairly equal path is psychological. 

It's hard to keep moving when you have nothing to really move to. I can get very depressed if I don't find time to work on writing my story. It is my way to keep moving forward. Without writing I'm not sure what I'd do.

You need to find something like that for yourself. Which is hard since you're already depressed, but that is where a support group of friends comes in handy. :happy:

Also, your last point about everyone knowing your history: That's just an excuse. If someone was able to diffuse that excuse, you'd just find another. You aren't ready to move out from depression, and until you are, no amount of medication will fix it entirely. Many people hate being depressed, by many also find comfort in it because it's something they are used to--it is known. And ridding the known for the unknown is no easy task.


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## FlightsOfFancy (Dec 30, 2012)

Crono91 said:


> Well I can say depression is a complicated field; while it can be due to a medical imbalance in need of balancing, a fairly equal path is psychological.
> 
> It's hard to keep moving when you have nothing to really move to. I can get very depressed if I don't find time to work on writing my story. It is my way to keep moving forward. Without writing I'm not sure what I'd do.
> 
> ...


True; it is an excuse really. I do really want to finish; I don't like starting things and not finishing them.

I'd say it's a lot of biochemistry but I also have no friends IRL. No dates etc. I don't have a phone..etc. I talk to people on the net. I am considering therapy again, however. I didn't seek help before because i was sure I was going to end my life. I am still unsure about that, but I figure I might as well make the best of it while I'm here.

Ty


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## VeraH (Mar 27, 2013)

FlightsOfFancy said:


> Ok so it's probably no secret to many that I suffer from 2 disorders that can be kind of debilitating. I tried to make it work this semester, but I was far too tired to do anything aside from sleep/surf the web (leaving my room/house is a struggle). I had no appetite etc.
> 
> I'm 26, and I just left my master's program. I am wondering if it's worth finishing next year as I will be 27 and complete it when I am 28 (almost 30). It will be in computer science. The reason I am hesitant is because I have not have 'serious' jobs (internships/run-of-the-mill jobs) since then and am not sure if this will keep me from being hired. Also, I feel old on campus.
> 
> What say you?


Do you need to complete tertiary qualifications for what you want to pursue?

If you quit, would you regret the decision?

I have friends who have depression as well and they have this perpetual ambivalence towards any decisions. Most have stood through with one decision and completed their programs. During that "process" they dropped out, took time off, came back again, worked, became unemployed, etc... But upon completion it was an achievement.

Those who dropped out have been happier since and never looked back at uni. Working in stable jobs (including manual labour) and that's an achievement to them, which it is.

It's individual for everyone.

If I were you, I'd complete the masters program in Computer Science! Very impressive. I would love to major it in as an undergrad.

Please don't fly to Switzerland. The world needs your brains and skills


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## CrystallineSheep (Jul 8, 2012)

I think you might as well finish what you started. Even if it may seem pointless and be such a headache for you. It would be a shame to bail out now. Of course your health is of most importance but I do urge you to finish your education if it is not too detrimental to it. You won't regret finishing your degree but you could potentially regret not completing it. I am sure you know this or are probably doing this but you should see a regular GP and see if he or she can help you with the basic things like your sleep patterns and your diet. Psychologist and psychiatrists can be a bit iffy but I think your local doctor can be of great assistance in putting your general health on track. I understand a little on what you are feeling. I use to feel like that but I always try to put my head on track and go on to completing things I have started and go on to achieve my goals. I also think the more difficult it is to do something, the more rewarding it is when you finish it. You will feel such a strong person for it. I swear. Even if it is something you are not so passionate about. Masters in computer programming is amazing! And you are definitely not too old. I think most people do their masters and phDs in their late 20's or early 30's. Don't be silly. University/College has no age boundaries. It's a place for the young and old.  Good luck!


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## paperbrain (Jan 4, 2013)

Finish it. You don't want to be the fool who looks back on his life years from now and says I could have, should have, would have. If you don't finish it you'll just regret it later. If you think you feel old on campus now just think about how old you would feel if you tried to go back later. Besides, in the long run you'll probably end up with a better job if you finish it. I'm rooting for you. Win, win, win!


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## Aya the Abysswalker (Mar 23, 2012)

I say finish it.


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## Schweeeeks (Feb 12, 2013)

Any way to complete the rest of your degree online?


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## FlightsOfFancy (Dec 30, 2012)

Moop said:


> Any way to complete the rest of your degree online?


yes actually; this was another idea. May I ask why you suggest this route?


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

I did not get my BS until I was 27. I did not finish my masters until I was 35. Get'r done!


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## Up and Away (Mar 5, 2011)

Finish while saying fuck it to some things, but saying this is important to some other things.

I don't think it's about winning or losing so much as it is trying our best, with the abilities we actually have, not our idea of what we should be able to do, or fear that we will some how turn insane in the moment and not jump


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## donkeybals (Jan 13, 2011)

Why not be full time student and full time worker. Or even split it to part time student and part time worker. Or be full time student and part time worker. Or part time worker and full time student. Or you could be no time student full time worker, but that could easily translate to no time student full time couch potato if you don't have a job arranged yet.


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## Schweeeeks (Feb 12, 2013)

FlightsOfFancy said:


> yes actually; this was another idea. May I ask why you suggest this route?





> too tired to do anything aside from sleep/surf the web (leaving my room/house is a struggle)






> I'm kind of embarassed to return because people know about my history now.




It's a toss up though. I've heard mixed reviews about online classes. Some people love it, but sometimes the teacher assigns even more work than a usual class. Does your school have disability services? They might be able to work something out for you too.
Another idea is keep track of the withdrawal/refund dates. You can sign up, go until that point in time and then decide if it's something you feel like you can continue.

For what it's worth, there are older people in ton of my classes. Some late 20s, some even 50s (with families and such). I never think twice about it. I doubt anyone else is focusing on the other class members either. Your history should not be a problem...the only people that will judge are people that are too bored to know what else to do with themselves. Mental illness is well-known now. It's discussed quite openly. If anything, I feel that more people will be sympathetic towards you, not mean.


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## yet another intj (Feb 10, 2013)

Don't fool yourself with false sense of challenge/control. Stunts are deceiving... Finish.


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## William I am (May 20, 2011)

What position will you be in when you say "fuck it". Then what? What position will you be in if you stay for another... 1? 2? semesters, not accounting for re-taking classes?

I just turned 26 and am in a sort of similar situation. I'd say you'll probably be safe quitting because you have a bachelor's to fall back on. If you do that, I recommend taking a leave of absence so that you can possibly return to the school in the future. That gives students a year to return and to retain major contract/catalog rights. 

If you do complete it, you may find easier jobs than as someone with an undergrad degree who hasn't worked since graduating. You will certainly be able to find higher paying jobs, I think. You can check out stats on pay-scale vs. level of degree through the OOOH. Just google it. It's specific to a single job though.

Anyhow, I too have dealt with debilitating health problems, and I'm just now getting them fairly well managed. Some things are more manageable than others. The thought that keeps occurring to me is "if I can't complete school because of my illnesses, how the hell will I work a job?"

Cheers, and best of luck.


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