# What is it that makes you fall in love with a person ?



## MrRandom88 (Apr 1, 2010)

skycloud86 said:


> What are you, a walking stereotype? Are you saying that if a woman had breasts and eyes that you were attracted to, it wouldn't matter about anything more substantial? Is there nothing about her as a person rather than body parts that makes you fall in love with a woman?


I could rationalize my "love" for any exceptionally attractive girl...just like most girls will rationalize their "love" for a guy who is confident & has access to resources


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

MrRandom88 said:


> I could rationalize my "love" for any exceptionally attractive girl...just like most girls will rationalize their "love" for a guy who is confident & has access to resources


Yes, but is there nothing else that makes you fall in love with a woman other than her eyes and breasts? What about her personality, what personality traits do you find attractive in a woman?


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## MrRandom88 (Apr 1, 2010)

skycloud86 said:


> Yes, but is there nothing else that makes you fall in love with a woman other than her eyes and breasts? What about her personality, what personality traits do you find attractive in a woman?


I do like when they are a little fiesty...or if they seem super innocent like they wouldn't hurt a fly. I also like giggly ones


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## Introvert88 (Feb 21, 2011)

Love? Oh right I forgot that English attempts to simplify a whole idea into one word. The Greeks knew better than to apply one word to such a thing. What you're talking about is what the Greeks would call Eros and enlightened men who understood the beauty of the soul recognize Eros to be more of a platonic nature. Purely physical attraction is simply lust. The beauty of a woman lies in her soul, her essence, her heart, her mind, and her spirit. To have Eros for a woman requires a spiritual, mental, and intellectual connection. Unfortunately it would appear Eros is on life support in today's world.


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## MrRandom88 (Apr 1, 2010)

introvert88 said:


> love? Oh right i forgot that english attempts to simplify a whole idea into one word. The greeks knew better than to apply one word to such a thing. What you're talking about is what the greeks would call eros and enlightened men who understood the beauty of the soul recognize eros to be more of a platonic nature. Purely physical attraction is simply lust. The beauty of a woman lies in her soul, her essence, her heart, her mind, and her spirit. To have eros for a woman requires a spiritual, mental, and intellectual connection. Unfortunately it would appear eros is on life support in today's world.


88 ftwwwwww


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## fenrir (Jun 16, 2010)

Psychologically:
- Being able to be myself around that person
- Knowing that person is as committed as I am in the relationship

Physically:
- Mutual attraction
- Affection


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## Razvan (Dec 17, 2009)

IrisBlu said:


> You don't necessarily have to have a reason. If you feel that you're in love, then you're in love. It doesn't matter if you met the person just a few days prior to this realization, there's no time involved. It's more than just the warm and fuzzy feelings. Their happiness and overall well-being becomes a vital part of you.
> 
> Being in love is a beautiful thing. You don't have to try to come up with reasons for it, just acknowledge it for what it is and that it's there.


Hehe, very true, I guess (for me at least) after a few relationships I felt the need to explain to myself what the hell I am looking for, not to make the same mistakes again. You can have that feeling for the wrong person too because you idealise that person and that's a very fast way to getting hurt.


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## Stephen (Jan 17, 2011)

razvan said:


> you can have that feeling for the wrong person too because you idealise that person and that's a very fast way to getting hurt.


thank you.


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## Essay (Oct 13, 2009)

A complete lack of conflict.


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## Razvan (Dec 17, 2009)

Essay said:


> A complete lack of conflict.


Hehe, immediately after I read this, I knew you are a Enneagram Type 9. :tongue: (I'm one too)


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## Mei (Feb 5, 2011)

It's that connection when what you say it's understood, and even if they replied back with nothing, the answers are in the eyes, that kind of thing? Total chemistry. It's being yourself, and is understood and accepted. You flirt, and you play. I would say, you also feel a sense of belonging as well, and just a general fuzzy happiness.


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## Compassionate Misanthrope (Mar 2, 2011)

Essay said:


> A complete lack of conflict.


I like my women fiery and unpredictable  All the girls I fell in love with weren't afraid to yell at me. Hell my wife kicked me really hard once when I pissed her off. It was a huge turn on lol.... well in retrospect. 

In fact 3/4 of them have punched a dude in the face at some point hahaha. Not me thankfully. 

For me if you're not willing to scream at someone when they disagree with you about something important then you don't care what they think. 

It's a big world though and I can dig it. 

I'm some combination of 8, 7, and 3 though so maybe that explains it haha.


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## Jwing24 (Aug 2, 2010)

Never done it.


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## cam3llia (Mar 5, 2011)

You can define/explain love. Maybe that's the beauty of it.


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## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

I fall in love with people who read this comment.

Want to have my babies?


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## Essay (Oct 13, 2009)

Compassionate Misanthrope said:


> I like my women fiery and unpredictable


Oh yeah, you can have that without serious conflict. 



> All the girls I fell in love with weren't afraid to yell at me. Hell my wife kicked me really hard once when I pissed her off. It was a huge turn on lol.... well in retrospect.
> 
> In fact 3/4 of them have punched a dude in the face at some point hahaha. Not me thankfully.
> 
> ...


Yelling, punching, and kicking can mean a lot of things, and it isn't always about conflict. It can all be part of a game, an act, or the conventions of the relationship that you set or intuit from the start, or rationalize on the fly, but of course, if that's the case, it's more of an illusion of unpredictability than anything. That said, a person who brings that sort of stuff into her relationships is probably going to feel out of place with me because I won't exactly be a natural at mirroring it (my 9w1 gut reactions would kick in and I'd spend way too much time thinking about it), if it's even mirroring she wants.



> I'm some combination of 8, 7, and 3 though so maybe that explains it haha.


 Yeah, I've got the 7 and 3 in me, but it kind of sounds like an 8 thing, which is something I'm completely lacking.


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## Compassionate Misanthrope (Mar 2, 2011)

Essay said:


> Oh yeah, you can have that without serious conflict.
> 
> 
> Yelling, punching, and kicking can mean a lot of things, and it isn't always about conflict. It can all be part of a game, an act, or the conventions of the relationship that you set or intuit from the start, or rationalize on the fly, but of course, if that's the case, it's more of an illusion of unpredictability than anything. That said, a person who brings that sort of stuff into her relationships is probably going to feel out of place with me because I won't exactly be a natural at mirroring it (my 9w1 gut reactions would kick in and I'd spend way too much time thinking about it), if it's even mirroring she wants.
> ...


Well only my wife ever actually hit me, hard, haha but it was during a 6 hour fight. We had a lot of issues to work out in the beginning. I would never hit a woman unless I had to defend myself or those close to me. 

I don't think that there are any games involved in this sort of thing... it's more extreme emotion and poor impulse control. Or justified - the guy my wife decked for example spit a bunch of phlem on her carpet and laughed about it. I would have hit him too but repeatedly if I was in her shoes. 

It's not the hitting I find attractive so much as the passion and intense emotion, coupled with independence, and a healthy dose of low impulse control/fearlessness. There are many other traits of course, but these in particular are relatively rare among smart people and have been present in the girls I've felt more than an infatuation/friendship for.


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## Aelthwyn (Oct 27, 2010)

I don't know....it's hard to say....I'd say pretty much the same as you for a couple of my good friends as well as my husband, sooo.....I dunno. I'm not sure that it's necessarily that you love them for any different additional reasons, just that how strongly you feel that appreciation for them is greater, more intense for someone you love romantically. I think it also deepens with the longer you get to know them and how much you choose to be commited to them.


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## Lyssah (Mar 30, 2010)

I've always felt to some degree like i have to be perfect and I want to be perfect for the one I'm with. So its hard for me to ever be completely comfortable with someone. 

The one person I felt like i have fallen in love with in my life was the one that we started out as friends, i wasn't sure if i wanted to date him but I knew i enjoyed hanging out with him. There was no pressure for me to try and be perfect since I didn't know if i was into taking the relationship further than it was. 
He just showed persistant curious interest in me, and delighted in my eccentricities, which allowed me to drop my guard and really enjoy our time together. 

Before I knew it, I had fallen headoverheels in love with him and there was a really solid friendship there as well. 
It was completely effortless. And also the hottest sexual encounter of my entire life. <smile>


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## claircat (Dec 6, 2010)

For me i always love a guy when he is really considerate of others and has an NF or NT brain, i always smile when i see it and feel fuzzy even if my attitude is relatively uninterested even when i really am, shyness gets in the way  also if we are friends initially that helps build trust, i kinda suck at dating straight away with unknown guys, i get far to worked up about how i'm coming across and nervous.


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