# Signs of Strong Fe?



## VoodooDolls (Jul 30, 2013)

But isn't it about of how your education was?, i mean, if you were raised in a traditional christian family somewhat bounded by "social rules" in which they taboo everything then does this automatically makes you a Fe user? if it so then i could be a Fe user cuz i sometimes can relate to that, i remember lots of times when i was going in the bus with my gf and once she takes the conversation to the place she wants then she's unstopable and starts shouting, so at that point i use to tell her to calm down a little bit: "i can hear you there's no reason for everyone to listen our private conversation". 
I never felt embarrased for strangers except, for some weird reason, for people interviewed in television which seem to miss the point totally, i use to change the channel before they start speaking.
I won't care about some guy making the stupidiest comment ever, in fact i would smile.
It seems that the deeper we digg the more sand buries us.


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## tangosthenes (Oct 29, 2011)

SharpestNiFe said:


> Really?
> 
> Fi tends to be MUCH more sensitive than Fe. Not the rule, but Fi-doms are MUCH more sensitive than Fe-doms.


Yes, I am aware. The point of the post was that Fe cares about how they are viewed via their adherence to the smoothness of relations...aka if the "hidden but obvious rules" are not observed, they tend to be compelled to correct you in my experience.

I think an Fi dom's rules are harder to pick up on..but I have Fe, so that may be why. Although, it may just be that Fi users have a hard time picking up all the social rules from a feeling perspective but don't give a shit, and Fe users have a hard time picking up individual social rules, even though they conform as long as nothing is amiss.

And I realize this isn't the full picture


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## Mimic octopus (May 3, 2014)

Stationary said:


> Have you seen how Walter White treats Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad? Getting him to do things by pulling on Fi strings, pretending, being insincere, convincing someone through false hospitality and social graces because you know how they work would be considered emotional manipulation.


Just because Walt was an Fi user it doesn't mean he was using that function to be manipulative, I think manipulation is pretty much against the grain of Fi.

Fe users often:
- Have more animated faces and wider eyes
- Can pretend to be more agreeable and share common interests just to be socially graceful or polite
- Have objective values that are based on humanity or groups of people as a whole

Fi users are the opposite


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## Reluctanine (May 11, 2014)

So... we're comparing Fe vs Fi, right? Then I can enter the conversation again! Whooo!



wums said:


> As a very strong Fe user I don't just like, care what people think of me, I evaluate everything I do based on what it will make people think of me. I would think you'd know you are a strong Fe user if how you mainly judge all your actions is by how they will make other people feel, and you mainly are looking in your environment for indicators of how people feel. For example, I can't stand forums that have reputation or thanks, things like that, because I start getting obsessed with the fact that other people seem more well-liked. It takes a lot of effort for me to ignore the thanks numbers and just say what I feel. And I almost regret making a post if nobody thanks it or responds to it. It sounds really petty, and it is, but these are the things that I care about. Any indicator of how people feel is important to me and intensely affects my inner world.


Woaaah! For me, I don't care what others think of me, I care about what I feel about myself. I feel happy when I receive thanks here, so I know that people feel happy when they receive thanks. Thus, I dish it out like free candy. I feel happy thinking of a person feeling happy. If I'm feeling particularly high when I read a thread, I give everybody thanks! So far, I've dished out 1344 thanks as of writing this. It's become like a game to me. The higher the number is, the more happy I am! Of course I notice how many thanks I get in comparison to posts, but that doesn't matter as much to me as getting a high score in thanks given. Higher number = higher happiness in the forums. What's not to like? Just one click of the button and I can make someone smile for a few seconds. I feel happy when they feel happy. Besides, the positivity usually bleeds over into posts and makes the whole forum experience more happy generally, so I really am making myself happy directly by thanking people.

That's basically how I, as a strong Fi, interact with the world, actually. I make others feel good so I can feel good. Is it selfish? Is it altruistic? Depends on your point-of-view. I just know that it makes me feel good and that's all that matters.


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## wums (Nov 25, 2013)

DonutsGalacticos said:


> Also by people you refer to people outside your inner circle? do you care for strangers too?


Yes, it will vary based on their status/relation to me I guess but I care a lot about what strangers think.... Actually a lot of times i care more about what strangers think because i'm not as sure of it. Fe is like competing impulses of social self-preservation. I want everybody to like me, even people I don't like... but it's not blind.



SharpestNiFe said:


> Really?
> 
> Fi tends to be MUCH more sensitive than Fe. Not the rule, but Fi-doms are MUCH more sensitive than Fe-doms.


In a different way. Different things push our buttons. Fi users do things sometimes that just slay me and are overall less aware of how I actually feel. But, OTOH, yeah it's hard to set me off just by stepping on moral values or something. 



DonutsGalacticos said:


> But isn't it about of how your education was?, i mean, if you were raised in a traditional christian family somewhat bounded by "social rules" in which they taboo everything then does this automatically makes you a Fe user? if it so then i could be a Fe user cuz i sometimes can relate to that, i remember lots of times when i was going in the bus with my gf and once she takes the conversation to the place she wants then she's unstopable and starts shouting, so at that point i use to tell her to calm down a little bit: "i can hear you there's no reason for everyone to listen our private conversation".
> I never felt embarrased for strangers except, for some weird reason, for people interviewed in television which seem to miss the point totally, i use to change the channel before they start speaking.
> I won't care about some guy making the stupidiest comment ever, in fact i would smile.
> It seems that the deeper we digg the more sand buries us.


Well everyone is a Fe user, just people who don't have it as one of their main functions will feel these things a lot less deeply or in a different way thru Fi.

I mean, I can focus on my environment and act in the moment sometimes, that doesn't necessarily make me a Se user. 

If someone started having our private conversations in public for example, I would feel like i was being stabbed. I wouldn't just reason with them to stop, I would need them to stop immediately. Fastest way to hurt me is to take away my control of my public image (how people feel about me)



Reluctanine said:


> So... we're comparing Fe vs Fi, right? Then I can enter the conversation again! Whooo!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thanks... yeah, I think Fi is generally more concerned with its own experience and its own rules. I thought of it like this, a Fe user feels good because other people feel good about them... a Fi user feels good because they feel good about other people.

I'm not 100% sure if I'm right here, but i get the impression that Fi users mostly want to do things for other people that would make them personally feel good if it happened to them. They can get vicarious pleasure thru that. But as a Fe user, I want specifically what will make someone else feel good, even if I don't understand it personally. I feel their emotions with them.

Also, I do think I use both Fe and Fi, so I'm just speaking from my own experience! lol. Don't want to sound too sure about it all... Fe/Fi is very nuanced


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## Mimic octopus (May 3, 2014)

Often I'll see people say that Fe dominants are 'shallow' or 'intrusive' and that Fi dominants are 'self-centered' or 'rude', but this is dismissive because it's only at their unhealthiest.

I think of extraverted feeling (objective emotions) as a group of people in a circle having a conversation, laughing, debating, being polite, humane, agreeable and dramatic etc.

I think of introverted feeling (subjective emotions) as a personal world of values, tastes, sensibilities and looking out for animals and the needy etc.

And Fi is not about being selfish at all, Fi is drawn to the less fortunate and is all about altruism.


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## Reluctanine (May 11, 2014)

@wums

Sounds pretty spot-on to me! :kitteh: Fi also makes me stand up for wrongdoing in public. If I see a person cutting in-line, I'll loudly tell him the line starts at the back regardless of how society has conditioned me to not make a scene. I just can't stand it! So what if others stare, I did what's right. My culture basically values group harmony much more than individualism, so most people will just keep quiet and let the man cut the queue because they don't want to make a scene or cause a fuss.

But my overwhelming feeling is that he'll continue to do it over and over again and I can't stand it! Someone has to put the jerk in his place.

@Patrick_1 

Well, some people could say I'm being selfish because I'm only doing things to make myself feel good. It's not really a true choice for me. I feel compelled to do it. If I don't do it, I'll go home and beat myself inside for not doing so. The action is altruistic, but is the motive altruistic when it's to make myself feel good, compared to an Fe user whose true aim is to make others feel good first?


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## wums (Nov 25, 2013)

Patrick_1 said:


> Often I'll see people say that Fe dominants are 'shallow' or 'intrusive' and that Fi dominants are 'self-centered' or 'rude', but this is dismissive because it's only at their unhealthiest.
> 
> I think of extraverted feeling (objective emotions) as a group of people in a circle having a conversation, laughing, debating, being polite, humane, agreeable and dramatic etc.
> 
> ...


I just want to clarify though that, while I think I know and agree with what you mean, idk if I would call Fe objective emotions either. I don't really laugh and converse in a circle because I objectively think it should be that way, I just think the other people would find it odd if I didn't do it that way. Or in a positive light, I think that that's how I can communicate most effectively. But if someone didn't like to talk that way, I'd be happy to accommodate that. It's about what specific people feel, just, it's not internal. Also about what groups or people at large feel, but ultimately it's subjectively based in another person(s). That's why Fe can drive me to do things most people wouldn't support. It can make it hard to leave an abusive partner for example. I might just become masochistic instead, because it feels good to give people what they want, so it's confusing. But the more people observe our relationship, the more I would want to leave my abusive partner. Things feel wrong simply because people judge them, and that's one thing I don't like about Fe (ironically because people judge people for being unprincipled), but can't change it either. I really respect Fi users being able to do things for themselves no matter what the world thinks. Fi does feel so unselfish, and I know if I wanted to be loved by anyone it would be a Fi user. I don't think I am capable of loving someone with the stability and inherent depth that a Fi user can... except that my love for someone won't be as likely to change just because they hid parts of themselves from me or if they change over time.


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## Northance (May 20, 2014)

As an Fe dom, I know exactly _how_ to talk to people (tone, choice of words, etc.) to get a certain result. I sense what makes people receptive to an idea.

I tend to mimic other people (accents, expressions) to be more likeable. I don't do it as much now, but still.

I notice subtle mood shifts in people even if they happen for no apparent reason.

I am concerned about maintaining harmony and equality in a group.

I get emotionally involved when people around me are sad, angry, happy, excited, etc. It actually has a major effect on my mood. I get emotionally involved when watching movies or plays, listening to music, etc.


Does that sound like you?


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

The motivations of the individual person at different times will really effect how other people experience the Fe dominant.

You could make the argument that an ExFJ is concerned with harmony at all times but isn't really true.

l think the most apparent difference l notice is that most Fe dominants will very clearly enter a mode where they are somewhat 'diffused' in large social gatherings, because they seem to naturally divide their attention this way. 

You may not feel as if you are the focal point of their attention or like it's 'customized' for you, and sometimes, it isn't. There's nothing wrong with that, Fe will simply take on the facilitative approach in certain situations.

l have an ENFJ Uncle who behave much this way, doesn't even really give his own daughter special attention when he is engaged in some kind of social scene (l think she's very independent because of that) but can be one of the most personable individuals you ever speak to in one on one conversations.

My INFP mom follows _me_ around at social gatherings and tends to bring our personal dynamic with us everywhere we go :tongue: you really can perceive and feel the shifts in how the energy and attention is directed.


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## ScientiaOmnisEst (Oct 2, 2013)

Northance said:


> As an Fe dom, I know exactly _how_ to talk to people (tone, choice of words, etc.) to get a certain result. I sense what makes people receptive to an idea.
> 
> I tend to mimic other people (accents, expressions) to be more likeable. I don't do it as much now, but still.
> 
> ...


As an Fe-inferior, I find this post fascinating. Just saying.


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## VoodooDolls (Jul 30, 2013)

let see, this happened me today it could be the ultimate way of knowing if i'm Fi or Fe.

I was going in the bus returning home and there was a guy sitting more or less next to me, the bus was semi empty, there were like 8 persons, the thing is that the guy suddenly started talking on the phone with his gf, i noticed it cuz he was talking soo loud and i was trying to read but this is one of my weakest points, i easily lose focus. I'm not done yet, the guy was talking in an extremely clumsy way about the girl being his little flower, and that in his imagination they were hunging each other, in some kind of paradise, the way i put it here seem like the guy was just a bit romantic, but fuck no, he was mad. He talked about giving her imaginary 37.000 kisses and that she was amazing, the better thing he had found in his life and roses and chocolate and sutff. I can't explain how was the grade of wrongness in all that, the guy was like some kind of narrator for some low budget cloying mad romantic film. It was literally out of this world, i have never heard something like that.
It started as a joke, i was laughting in my interior, but the thing is that the more i listened the more need to kill myself i felt, it was an undescriptable feeling, it was madness penetrating through my soul, it was so sad, it made me feel empty and crushed. That guy was some kind of mad witchcrafter. 
This is important, i was not really upset with the fact he was talking loud, i was feeling sick by his conversation.

Can anyone tell me what could have happened there for me and my functions? is this a prove for Fe? or Fi?.

Besides that thing, cba to remember the user who said this but i find weird that Fe users enjoy gettiing in conversations with strangers and at the same time dislike others to reveal their privacy in front of people.


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## Northance (May 20, 2014)

ScientiaOmnemEst said:


> As an Fe-inferior, I find this post fascinating. Just saying.


Haha, why?


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## ScientiaOmnisEst (Oct 2, 2013)

Northance said:


> Haha, why?


I actually anticipated this response.

Mainly because, to an extent, I have some of these same abilities, except they're way watered down, hit-or-miss, and half the time happen too late. 

Talking a certain way or saying certain things towards a result? I'm not that good at it; even if I know what the person wants to hear, I'm not good at conveying it convincingly.

I often fail to notice mood shifts unless they're very in-my-face, and my usual reaction is to shut down and try to deflect it. I don't deal with conflict well, but I have zero confidence in my ability to fix it. I avoid it/evade it instead.

Basically I think I've just had the difference between dominant and inferior Fe spelled out for me. I find it interesting how I recognize these traits even when I'm used to seeing them in their weaker form.


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## Reluctanine (May 11, 2014)

@DonutsGalacticos

Sounds like Fi to me. 

An Fe user would have probably been annoyed that the guy's loud voice was disturbing others on the bus and imposing his mushy conversation on others. There's a focus on other people for them. An Fe user might ask him to tone it down for other people there, or not say anything to not make a scene.

As an Fi user, I would have been annoyed that I was made to sit through that torture, and might have politely asked him to tone it down a little to spare myself the torture or plug in earphones if I had any. Thinking of what the group wants doesn't occur for me. I just do what I like. If I were with a friend and they were having trouble reading, I would feel how much I would hate that happening to me and speak out. Another thing that could occur is if the friend TELLS me that I should feel annoyed and to go ask the guy to tone it down, I get ticked off and wouldn't do it because I don't like being told what to feel or do. That's the downside of Fi, I guess.


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## wums (Nov 25, 2013)

Reluctanine said:


> @DonutsGalacticos
> 
> Sounds like Fi to me.
> 
> ...


I agree with this. I was thinking it was Fi. Fi users seem to relate almost by projection. Fe users relate by observation, so I think a Fi user would be subconsciously thinking, "what?? I would never do that. What a creep." And yeah a Fe user would just be thinking ":/ this guy is annoying everyone/that girl must be weirded out right now."


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## Tranquility (Dec 16, 2013)

Sensitivity to the emotional and mental states of others, understanding of what is considered appropriate or not, good social graces, valuing the group over the individual, changing facades to accurately suit the present environment, need for harmonious and congruent group values. Essentially, anything pertaining to evaluation fed from an external context in large amounts could pertain to strong Fe, as long as it is conscious, generally positive, and adaptive. Inferior or tertiary Fe could show these as well, but generally in a negative and maladaptive way, such as painful empathy, shallow facades, and extreme sensitivity to group conflict to the point of a vigilante complex.


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## Satan Claus (Aug 6, 2013)

You're a strong Fe user if...

- You're influenced by the emotions around you and easily adapt to them
- You instinctively understand others not on a personal level, but on a theoretical level
- You don't get _personally _insulted by things.
- You don't have the need to attach personal and private feelings to things like a song or a story
- You strive for harmony through out a group and try to make everyone get along (although this one may be more seen in extroverts)

For example, let's take Jean Grey from the X men series. (This description of her Fe was taken from X-Men: Jean Grey / Phoenix [ENFJ] Fe: Jean... | Funky MBTI Fiction)

*Fe: *Jean focuses on the people around her much more than on herself; she risks her own life and mental sanity to locate Rogue. Even though she’s romantically interested in Wolverine, she resists the attraction because it would hurt Scott. Jean represses her abilities so as not to endanger others. She commits her life and time to the school and to pushing the mutant cause through diplomatic channels. Jean tries to be appropriate at all times. Once she goes bad, however, she also uses her ability to read other people’s emotions in order to hurt them, and is easily influenced by Magneto’s beliefs.


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## VoodooDolls (Jul 30, 2013)

EthereaEthos said:


> Sensitivity to the emotional and mental states of others


so you think the case i exposed was due to Fe?

EDIT: uhh i misunderstood the comment, wrong. Forget.


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## Tranquility (Dec 16, 2013)

DonutsGalacticos said:


> so you think the case i exposed was due to Fe?
> 
> EDIT: uhh i misunderstood the comment, wrong. Forget.


No problem. Your case seemed like Fi to me, considering you were sickened by a buttered up conversation. Fe users tend to use language like that. They would instead focus on the intensity of his voice, and tell him to act more appropriate while in public.


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