# Being a type you really hoped you weren't?



## SweetPickles (Mar 19, 2012)

cir said:


> I can offer you better. Before studying the enneagram, I did a lot of drugs explicitly to forget about myself and my existential pain. And I mean, there were times when just random mystery pills were added in because why the fuck not? Yeah, my ego died plenty of times!
> 
> So years after I got better, I looked into the enneagram. What stood out to me was vice: lust, gluttony <-> virtue: innocence, sobriety. Not everyone needs a test!


You sound more like a 7. 8s can be lustful but they seek power and control most of all. I think 7s like to escape pain by gluttonous behavior more than 8s. Another 8 vice would be anger. Could you be a 7w8?


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## cir (Oct 4, 2013)

MelanieM said:


> You sound more like a 7. 8s can be lustful but they seek power and control most of all. I think 7s like to escape pain by gluttonous behavior more than 8s. Another 8 vice would be anger. Could you be a 7w8?


 It's in my tritype! But no, I'm absolutely an 8w7. Most of my 8 is at 2, so it doesn't need to be expressed as predominantly.

I have opined too much on the holy idea of truth to not be.


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## Sirius Black (Sep 28, 2014)

To know your enneagram type, you have several ways to know: (in my experience)
1. You can take your test, but I don't see any objectivity in test because we have many perception to translate question. I don't suggest it.
2. You can self-reflecting, read many enneagram type, and choose it by yourselves.If you find too hard self-reflecting, you can ask to your best friend or well-known friend to examine trait in you.
3. You can discuss it with someone who knows you and enneagram type well in many times.

It's hard to find enneagram type, because it's not a positive information (for me). When I found my enneagram type, I felt that I'm too weak with low-self esteem and embarrassed with my type. But, I realize even in my type many weakness I find, I can find the reason why my habit and my trait become like this.


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## Hespera (Jun 3, 2011)

I've also mistyped twice (4 and 6) and although I wouldn't necessarily say I didn't like any of the types (as @cyamitide pointed out, all have their good and bad), I was far less likely to recognize or acknowledge where I actually stood because I just didn't identify as that kind of person.

For example, I chose 4 at first because as a young adult I felt that deep down I was sensitive, artistic, beautifully flawed. Then I started recognizing the strong pull of my superego and decided on 6. Finally I accepted that I was a 1. I always related to 1 descriptions more, but assured myself I wasn't anal, uptight or angry enough to be 1. Anxious and indecisive I could handle, but a judgemental 1? Ironically enough, the perfectionist in me thought that it was imperfect to be so obsessed with perfection. I think that the more stereotypical descriptions of the types became an easy way to convince myself that I _couldn't _be that type, even though the real reason I rejected it was much deeper.


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## ScarlettHayden (Jun 8, 2012)

sarahmariev said:


> Ironically enough, the perfectionist in me thought that it was imperfect to be so obsessed with perfection. I think that the more stereotypical descriptions of the types became an easy way to convince myself that I _couldn't _be that type, even though the real reason I rejected it was much deeper.


This is exactly why it took me so long to decide I was a 1. I found it impractical to be so set on perfection because to me part of perfection is making mistakes through experience and learning how to better yourself from that. Not to say I'd purposely make a mistake but just that if it does happen then so what? I can take a lesson away from it and do better in the future.

Also I don't know your instinctual variant but being an Sx made it that much harder since sexual variants aren't so interested in following the rules compared to the other variants. For me it's more personal than other 1's I've met who are obsessed about following the societal law to the letter. I only follow a rule if it feels right to me. I follow my own rules.

Then there's the fact I've never really had a stable type.. I seem to type hop a lot due to the insane amount of integration that I go through. But for now it's 1, which I feel fits perfectly well.


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## Hespera (Jun 3, 2011)

I'm actually so/sp and I do have a bit of a thing for the rules, but to me, obviously, there's a reason. I like to know what to expect and have guidelines in place for my behavior anyway; however certain rules are also so important for everybody in general. I think that a lot of laws are stupid (though I generally follow them as to not get in trouble) yet there are certain ones, like those surrounding traffic, that drive me absolutely nuts when people don't follow. If you're speeding down the freeway, cutting people off and not using your turn signal, not only are you a rude mofo, you are putting peoples' lives in danger. Go 75 mph, use the carpool lane illegally, you'll still piss me off but the minute you make things unsafe I wish to god I could make a citizen's arrest on your ass.

Anyway...I suppose I do sound a lot like a 1 when it comes right down to it, but I don't feel legalistic in any way. I always think I'm far more idealistic than perfectionistic. I have high standards that in my mind help people, though I've come to realize that they often just send my blood pressure skyrocketing.


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## lactosecat (May 29, 2011)

Well hmm.. at first I mistyped as e7 because of many reasons. I'm ENFP, so I thought that there was a high choice of me being type 7 so I looked into that and loved the description of type 7s and declared myself one. Then I started taking those tests and was basically in denial. I was very delusional into believing that I AM a type 7 so I manipulated those online test results by selecting everything that stood out as a 7 to me. I remember that 4 was high up there in my results with out me even trying to be/not be one. 
I didn't want to look further into that because I hated how the 4 descriptions described shame and envy. I'm not exactly sure how accurate the online tests were but I took so many of them because I guess deep down, I knew that the only reason why I identified as a 7 was because I really, really wished I was one of them. So yepp, what you posted about being in denial rang true for me. I don't even have 7 in my tritype so I probably couldn't even lie to myself any longer hahah

It took me a while to be truthful to myself and eventually I typed as 4w3  I wasn't very happy even though I was being truthful to myself because I still hated being a 4. The 4 descriptions were so accurate for me and I didn't like how some words could be so accurate. It's like a part of me that I didn't want to expose to light was suddenly hanging in front of my eyes haha. 

But now, I'm fine with being a 4 though I still am very self conscious telling people IRL that I am one.


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

acaciaforest said:


> But now, I'm fine with being a 4 though I still am very self conscious telling people IRL that I am one.


I don't tell people IRL either. When people from PerC write about me being a 4 on my facebook I erase it.

I think part of it is that it feels too typical. I'm a musician and artist.. being a 4 just makes me 'par for the course.' If I were a 5 or 8 (like my mistypes) my artistry would stand out amongst 5s or 8s. As a 4 its like "add another artsy 4 to the pile." Bleh. I don't like being a "typical" anything.


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## cir (Oct 4, 2013)

Animal said:


> Bleh. I don't like being a "typical" anything.


 Lol, I feel the complete opposite. When I found the enneagram and saw that I was an 8w7, and that many ENTJs are 8w7s, I sighed a huge sigh of relief and was like "Yes! I'm not the only one!! I'm not crazy after all!!" For once, I could feel and relate to a typical anything!


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

cir said:


> Lol, I feel the complete opposite. When I found the enneagram and saw that I was an 8w7, and that many ENTJs are 8w7s, I sighed a huge sigh of relief and was like "Yes! I'm not the only one!! I'm not crazy after all!!" For once, I could feel and relate to a typical anything!


I kind of feel that way too. I guess I feel both ways. I'm relieved because it feels less like "there's something wrong with me" - since everyone has an enneatype and we are all equally "wrong." So that can feel nice when I can wrap my heart around it. But I use my facebook to promote my music and art.. and I guess I just don't love the idea of advertising that I'm one of many, even if there is something comforting in it. (I know, I know. 4s are image types after all.)


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

@cir
Also I'm not crazy about the idea of people jumping to shallow conclusions about what "4" means if they haven't really studied enneagram. I have no problem telling friends I'm a 4 if I am explaining enneagram to them, but I don't want it to be a "known" and talked-about thing.. because then people will think "Ok.. she's envious, shameful, and fake but wants people to think she's authentic and different" .. I don't want that. If someone is studying more deeply and realizing the humanity in it, then I'm ok with them knowing my type.


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)




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## cir (Oct 4, 2013)

Animal said:


> @_cir_
> Also I'm not crazy about the idea of people jumping to shallow conclusions about what "4" means if they haven't really studied enneagram.


 I've studied the enneagram, and to be honest, I still don't know what four means... I mean, I can cognitively understand it *pats head*, but not here *pats heart*. Emotions are difficult. But it's ok, I'm still young, I'm sure I'll figure it out.


> I have no problem telling friends I'm a 4 if I am explaining enneagram to them, but I don't want it to be a "known" and talked-about thing.. because then people will think "Ok.. she's envious, shameful, and fake but wants people to think she's authentic and different" .. I don't want that. If someone is studying more deeply and realizing the humanity in it, then I'm ok with them knowing my type.


 Yeah... but hey, at least you can keep it a secret! I don't really get that luxury. Whenever I show people the enneagram, they immediately identify my main type.


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

cir said:


> I've studied the enneagram, and to be honest, I still don't know what four means... I mean, I can cognitively understand it *pats head*, but not here *pats heart*. Emotions are difficult. But it's ok, I'm still young, I'm sure I'll figure it out.


Hehe. You will. 
TBH it's hard even for me to understand. I understand it in terms of myself, but it's hard to put into a broader spectrum.



> Yeah... but hey, at least you can keep it a secret! I don't really get that luxury. Whenever I show people the enneagram, they immediately identify my main type.


Haha. My type is pretty obvious to a lot of people too. In fact my mother, my life-long friend, and a few other friends from PerC identified me as a 4 long before I conceded. People who don't know me as well sometimes type me at 7, though. Or once in a while 8. I don't think I could actually keep the secret from people who study enneagram and know me beyond facebook. And actually even some of my "music fans" would identify me as a 4, probably, because of the content of my songs. (Some might pick 7 though.) 

If enneagram comes up I'll identify myself, but I am not going to post excerpts from enneagram books like a lot of other people do on facebook. It's only worth bringing up if its a deeper conversation and the person is trying to figure out their own type, so they're not jumping to stupid conclusions.


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## cir (Oct 4, 2013)

Animal said:


> Haha. My type is pretty obvious to a lot of people too. In fact my mother, my life-long friend, and a few other friends from PerC identified me as a 4 long before I conceded. People who don't know me as well sometimes type me at 7, though. Or once in a while 8. I don't think I could actually keep the secret from people who study enneagram and know me beyond facebook. And actually even some of my "music fans" would identify me as a 4, probably, because of the content of my songs. (Some might pick 7 though.)


 I'm trying to work on tapping into the nine wing so that I can blend in. :ninja:


> If enneagram comes up I'll identify myself, but I am not going to post excerpts from enneagram books like a lot of other people do on facebook. It's only worth bringing up if its a deeper conversation and the person is trying to figure out their own type, so they're not jumping to stupid conclusions.


 Yeah... it looks like it could go wrong in so many ways, and I agree!


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

cir said:


> I'm trying to work on tapping into the nine wing so that I can blend in. :ninja:


Hehe. As much as people might have seen me as a freak or a weirdo or an alien throughout my life, my 8 friends stand out even more. It's not about clothes or presentation . To be fair its not about that with me either - I stand out regardless because of my mindset. But with my 8 friends they really really stand out.. they can be dressed as normally as anyone.. but there's this aura about them. My 8w9 friend had many thoughts about "us" (me, and him) being of a different species than anyone else. Like where the hell did we come from? Certainly not here...

This especially applies to my 8w9 friend who is more thoughtful and spiritual. The 8w7 - I don't think he really thought about these things in terms of "we are aliens," but I know he felt rejected by society and angry about it.


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## cir (Oct 4, 2013)

Animal said:


> Hehe. As much as people might have seen me as a freak or a weirdo or an alien throughout my life, my 8 friends stand out even more. It's not about clothes or presentation . To be fair its not about that with me either - I stand out regardless because of my mindset. But with my 8 friends they really really stand out.. they can be dressed as normally as anyone.. but there's *this aura about them*. Both of them have had many thoughts about "us" (me, and them) being of a different species than anyone else. Like where the hell did we come from? Certainly not here...


 Yeah... That is indeed a problem I need to work on... How do you see/experience/perceive that aura?


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

cir said:


> Yeah... That is indeed a problem I need to work on... How do you see/experience/perceive that aura?


For me it's more like.. I recognize my own kind. 

I met the 8w9 when we were 11 and we were instant friends. It all started from eye contact. We are 34, and he is male and gorgeous and we have never hooked up, we're still best friends. With the 8w7 he is the love of my life and it was similar, we looked in each other's eyes and there was no going back. We watched each other for a while but as soon as we started talking at age 16.. heartlock. <3

We broke up though..around 19. But then after not talking for many years we got in touch again. Nothing much had changed in terms of feelings though we are living very different lives which can't really work together anymore.

I guess what I'm saying is that in both cases it was one of the most real, down-to-earth, honest and straight forward connecting experiences I've ever had. I don't perceive 8s as aggressive or scary, though I understand why others perceive especially the 8w7 as aggressive, and the 8w9 as having a lot of "anger boiling under the surface." I see it, but all I really feel in my heart is a big teddy bear who needs a hug. And I am usually a spiteful little bitch, but with both of these men, despite problems between us which I might otherwise have perceived as "rejection," all I could see was their goodness and kindness within, and they really brought out a nurturing instinct (one more as a 'brother' and one as a lover) ... which I have not experienced much at all in my life. Both of them cherish my feelings and my vulnerability and find my intensity inspiring and sexy, and say it makes them feel alive. They adore my art, my music, my writing, my spirit. They find me emotionally freeing and mentally inspiring. Most other people find me "too intense" and "self-absorbed." Men, especially, find my feelings to be too intense, but these two don't even blink.

So from my perspective I want to say "Don't change anything!!" But I guess I understand why you'd want more people to see your humanity rather than someone 'scary and tough' to avoid. It's probably even harder for type 8 women because that's socially "out of the box." Maybe work out a lot to release some of the anger so your aura is more free?


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## tangosthenes (Oct 29, 2011)

I buy it, but it also sounds like a very good marketing ploy.


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

tangosthenes said:


> I buy it, but it also sounds like a very good marketing ploy.


?


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