# Funny sex stories



## SaraBell (Jun 3, 2010)

I want to hear all your sex stories so I can laugh at all of you :laughing: There should be plenty as we all know sex can get a little awkward sometimes. I can only think of one at the moment and some might think it's more mean than funny lol...My then bf liked to drag out sex as long as he possibly could, which was great for a while, but then one night we were doing it and I came a few times. It was great...at first, then as the time dragged on and on I got bored and tired (and it was starting to hurt lol). I tried to let him know I just wasn't into it anymore with body language but he wasn't getting the hint. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and just asked "Are you almost done yet?!"...he paused, turned kinda red, and replied "well, now I'm not!" :crazy:


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

Why didn't you just tell him rather than hinting with body language? It would have saved you time and would have prevented boredom and soreness.


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## SaraBell (Jun 3, 2010)

skycloud86 said:


> Why didn't you just tell him rather than hinting with body language? It would have saved you time and would have prevented boredom and soreness.


I was trying to be nice and spare him the embarassment I knew he would feel


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## mrscientist (Jul 4, 2010)

Once, with my ex, we went for a walk in the middle of winter. The snow was really deep, was snowing for quite a while. Anyways, we went up the hill(it is quite a walk). After going for about 15 minutes she gets tired. Oh forgot...we had our dog with us. Soo...she says: "I don't feel like walking anymore, lets go back" and i knew she was tired. So we slowly went back down the hill. Then after about 15 min of walking we finally reached my house again.


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## Miss Scarlet (Jul 26, 2010)

The two times I decided to have sex (with the same guy) he couldn't get it up. He is/was a porn addict so that was a big problem ( but I didn't know that at the time ). I chose not to respond just to save his feelings but I was trying so hard not to laugh in his face. I let out a few giggles though. He was not amused. But that's okay I'm still a virgin! Hahahah! I never want to do that again


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## TurranMC (Sep 15, 2009)

mrscientist said:


> Once, with my ex, we went for a walk in the middle of winter. The snow was really deep, was snowing for quite a while. Anyways, we went up the hill(it is quite a walk). After going for about 15 minutes she gets tired. Oh forgot...we had our dog with us. Soo...she says: "I don't feel like walking anymore, lets go back" and i knew she was tired. So we slowly went back down the hill. Then after about 15 min of walking we finally reached my house again.


Happens to me all the time


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## Inverse (Jun 3, 2010)

skycloud86 said:


> Why didn't you just tell him rather than hinting with body language? It would have saved you time and would have prevented boredom and soreness.


Sex can be complicated. You're on emotional highs and the come downs that follow.

I had a really interesting time once when me and my s.o. were starting out in our relationship. I was a bit too excited and was about to come way too fast. Though some have the odd challenge of faking an orgasm, I assigned myself the task to hide it. 

So I came, ...and it was yummy~ but I hid it amongst the gnawing and clawing that already was going on. She never really noticed. We were still kind of immature about it all, and I didn't want to let her know I was that _quick _(knowing her as I do now, she'd have only taken it as a compliment~! haha~). 

I ended up getting too excited again even after all that and came again within minutes~ she hadn't climaxed yet, that I knew of~ so I was _really _resisting it (I'm silly), and ended up going soft as a shuddering mess. She noticed of course and was like "Is something the matter? Did I do something wrong?" as if _she _messed up somehow~ so I told her it was _quite _the opposite and she had a good laugh at that. I never did that again~ I don't have the willpower. X3 

She learned the difference between my shudders and shivers after that.

It was all so silly, looking back on it... and yeah, a little messy. x3



ENTJwillruletheworld said:


> The two times I decided to have sex (with the same guy) he couldn't get it up.


Not a fun thing to go through for a guy~ <3 Poor thing.


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## noosabar (Mar 14, 2010)

A girlfriend when I was younger dismounted me whilst riding cowgirl. We were in a popular picnic ground and she had heard someone coming, so at the most opportune moment for her she hopped off leaving me on my back jeans arond my ankles, shirt up over my shoulders with a hardon to the heavens. She had a dress on which just pulled back down. The situation was very funny to her. Very naughty fun girl, who loved to set me up.


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## HappiLie (Jun 1, 2010)

Oh golly, most awkward moment was probably a quick little foreplay sesh in the back of the guy-I-was-with's car at liek midnight...he's more than a foot taller than me too.

I was in his lap and accidentally kicked my foot out while trying to take my sock off and nailed him, I started apologizing and hugging him like a maniac. And then he was fingering me and his finger slipped and hit a sensitive spot really hard, so it triggered a ..."Ohhh....hh...ehhh..hh... ... OW." "OH MY GOD I'M SORRY" moment.

And so many more little awkie moments i can't even remember :crying: 
Accidentally "teething", accidental ball punching on the hj, oh it was glorious. Thinking back it was pretty funny though  We're cool today.


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## joyrjw (Aug 1, 2010)

This happened when I was a teenager and it was kind of funny. 

Anyway, my ex BF and worked together in a fast food restaurant and one night I was staying over at a friends house, well, he decided he was going to walk me back to my friends house after I got off of work. 

At some point(the memory is a little fuzzy) during our walk we came across an old parked train and somehow he convinced me that it would be cool to have sex on the side of it. 

We did, fully naked apparently because when I put my clothes back on I put my shirt back on inside out. He walked me the rest of the way back to my friends.

When I walked in, my friends roommate(she was an older lady), looked suspicious, and started asking me questions about that night. How did work go? How was my evening? Things like that, and of course, I became increasingly nervous and irritated.:tongue:

Finally she asked me why shirt was inside out...which I didn't realize it was.:blushed: 
I knew I was busted. I ran into the bathroom and didn't go out for hours. :laughing:


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## SlowPoke68 (Apr 26, 2010)

I was giving a girlfriend at the time some special treatment with my fingers and tongue while she was on her back laying sideways on the bed. I could tell she was really getting into it by the way she was tensing her thighs and arching her back and moaning. Next thing I realize that I'm not making contact any longer. I open my eyes to see her vagina gradually receding in the distance as slid off the bed and on to the floor as she made a moaning noise--complete with the doppler effect--then a dull thud.

Another girl had just gotten a cocker spaniel puppy. When we'd clean up afterwards I'd toss the towel on the floor while we had a post-coital smoke. We heard a licking sound from beside the bed and realized that we had a new cleanup helper.


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## Slider (Nov 17, 2009)

One of the first blowjobs I received was done using a healthy amount of teeth. Oh, good Lord, it was excruciatingly painful. I didn't want to hurt my girlfriend's feelings or damage her self confidence, so I didn't let on that she was causing me a great deal of discomfort.

I didn't ejaculate, either. After way too much time had passed, I finally said something, like, "Yeah, that's enough."


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

Slider said:


> One of the first blowjobs I received was done using a healthy amount of teeth. Oh, good Lord, it was excruciatingly painful. I didn't want to hurt my girlfriend's feelings or damage her self confidence, so I didn't let on that she was causing me a great deal of discomfort.
> 
> I didn't ejaculate, either. After way too much time had passed, I finally said something, like, "Yeah, that's enough."


What happened when you gave her oral back? I assume you didn't try to hint at the teeth thing?


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## Slider (Nov 17, 2009)

skycloud86 said:


> What happened when you gave her oral back? I assume you didn't try to hint at the teeth thing?


I didn't reciprocate.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

Slider said:


> I didn't reciprocate.


I'm not surprised after the teeth!


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## EYENTJ (Aug 21, 2010)

The girl I was seeing at the time and I had a running, inside gag where we'd make faces at each other (tongue stuck out, face scrunched up, baring the teeth, etc), usually to try to get the other person to laugh (we always did it when there were other people around), or as a bonding experience. For some reason I thought this would be a hilarious thing to do when we were having sex.

She was absolutely, breathtakingly appalled. She covered her face with her hands and said, "Oh. My. God. [pause] I guess I'll just have to have sex [with my eyes covered] from now on."


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