# INFP men



## Zeitgeist (Feb 7, 2012)

I think I am the only INFP That I know IRL although it is possible that I do and INFPs are just lurking in the shadows and hiding behind E masks.

I digress. INFP men here on PerC are fascinating to me, particularly the straight males. How strange is it to be an INFP man? How do you feel? Where are you all hiding so I can meet you and engage in INFP intellectual/existential banter? I want to study you, intuit your problems, and fix all of your old wounds. Together, we can write some beautiful novels.

Okay so that was more of a diatribe than a question. Seriously, I need to connect with some of you men. I feel like you'd help me understand myself better. Thoughts?


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## Isthmus (Sep 13, 2010)

rshortman said:


> I think I am the only INFP That I know IRL although it is possible that I do and INFPs are just lurking in the shadows and hiding behind E masks.
> 
> I digress. INFP men here on PerC are fascinating to me, particularly the straight males. How strange is it to be an INFP man? How do you feel? Where are you all hiding so I can meet you and engage in INFP intellectual/existential banter?


I think I'm hiding behind a T mask. Can't do an E mask, that eats up way too much energy. I wouldn't say it's particularly strange, but I do feel like I'm hiding a bit of myself from a lot of people I know. Though that part doesn't really mind spending time alone, so it's not that big of a deal.

I'm probably very much oversimplifying or just plain wrong, but it feels like female INFPs have more options to advertising their INFP-ness without actually wearing their hearts on their sleeves, and somehow I would think that would help in forming friendships. Again, on some level I'm pretty sure it's not that easy, and that female INFPs aren't all the stereotype, but having added a healthy dose of wishful thinking, the grass does look a little bit greener on the other side.


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## Senter (Nov 21, 2011)

I think it's nobodies job to fix my wounds. just me. I think it's a little strange being alive period and not just as an INFP.


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## Runvardh (May 17, 2011)

I'm on the train, hiding behind my sunglasses so you can't see my tears. I'm hiding amung the Ts for my intellectual needs while my emotional and sexual suffer.

Actually, if you want intellectual stimulation, go where it actually is instead of where it might be. Some of us are there if you truly look; though young or old, I can't guarantee.


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## tylerjg33 (Oct 6, 2011)

Being an INFP is pretty cool I suppose. I mean, I feel like I'm just another person in the structure! Everyone has a role and I'm just playing mine. I don't think I'm hiding like you suggested, but I am definitely lurking LOL. I live in Seattle and go to school. I'm pretty tired of school. I'm considering getting a "real" job and taking an online class or two a quarter. IDK!


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## Tim Knight (Feb 5, 2010)

Yea i dont know any infps either besides me. I dont really like being an infp man because of the stigma associated with it. Thinking about were to find me, i just had the epiphany that Im really hard to find. The only way to get to know me would be through school, work or a friend, at a party, but I rarely have the energy for those.


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## Zeitgeist (Feb 7, 2012)

Isthmus said:


> I think I'm hiding behind a T mask. Can't do an E mask, that eats up way too much energy. I wouldn't say it's particularly strange, but I do feel like I'm hiding a bit of myself from a lot of people I know. Though that part doesn't really mind spending time alone, so it's not that big of a deal.
> 
> I'm probably very much oversimplifying or just plain wrong, but it feels like female INFPs have more options to advertising their INFP-ness without actually wearing their hearts on their sleeves, and somehow I would think that would help in forming friendships. Again, on some level I'm pretty sure it's not that easy, and that female INFPs aren't all the stereotype, but having added a healthy dose of wishful thinking, the grass does look a little bit greener on the other side.


 You're prolly right. It's gotta be tough being such a deep, feeling male. You can't show that too much without facing a lot of rejection. I truly wish I could get to know you :-(


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## Zeitgeist (Feb 7, 2012)

Runvardh said:


> I'm on the train, hiding behind my sunglasses so you can't see my tears. I'm hiding amung the Ts for my intellectual needs while my emotional and sexual suffer.
> 
> Actually, if you want intellectual stimulation, go where it actually is instead of where it might be. Some of us are there if you truly look; though young or old, I can't guarantee.


 oh its so crazy. I looked at your profile and you're like a male version of me -0). You're even the same age.


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## Murnando (Dec 10, 2011)

I tend to hide behind an E mask to a certain extent. I'm still in compulsory education, so I'm pretty much forced to socialise with people every minute of every of school hours, so I don't exactly have a choice in the matter. I tend to go through phases, inside school and out, when it comes to being around other people. For an hour or two I'll be extremely extrovert with my Ne, being making a lot of jokes, being lighthearted and I hope quite a fun person to be around (so long as you don't mind my dorky sense of humour). However, after this hour or maybe 2, I crash completely and couldn't go back into extrovert mode even if I wanted to. From that point on, I keep to myself, say as little as possible and just get through the rest of the day. 

I honestly don't care that much that I'm not a part of society's ideal man image. I'm okay with being sort-of feminine, and I'm okay with being seen as a nerd and not really boyfriend material (god I want to kill myself for using the words "boyfriend material"), because I'm still in school, where every social convention is shallow and immature, a place that still runs by the system of social castes. One day that will change, and if it doesn't, then I'll still be happier being myself than playing into the hands of petty social stigmas and rules.


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## FaveteLinguis (Mar 5, 2010)

*How strange is it to be an INFP man?*
Not all that strange?? From an outsider looking in on the world......well the world can seem pretty strange at times instead of vice versa.

*How do you feel?* 
Brain chemicals and fired up nerves?

*Where are you all hiding so I can meet you and engage in INFP intellectual/existential banter?*
First thought is the batcave.....but I'm neither rich, intensely athletic, or all that dark and gloomy. I'm personally exploring the world, traveling, and setting up my later life for fun, leisure, and accomplishment.

*Thoughts?* 
Many. Too many.


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## Adasta (Nov 22, 2011)

rshortman said:


> How strange is it to be an INFP man?


Pretty strange. Other men are usually confused as to why I seem to attract women quite naturally yet I don't sleep with them (at least not immediately). They fail to see that these women are attracted simply because they can sense that I am not just trying to sleep with them.

I have friends that are quite understanding of me. The male friends I have consider me to be capricious and intelligent; I respect all of my male friends for various reasons and they respect me mainly because I am knowledgeable, honest, and quite undemanding.

The strangest thing about being an INFP man is, I think, my own lack of self-awareness. I am not often aware myself insofar as others perceive me, so it is always surprising when a girl comes along that likes me. I've known women to become angry that I have not made a move on them when I have simply been unaware that sitting in a room alone with them chatting may, in some way, suggest romance.



rshortman said:


> How do you feel?


Happy when I am hearing about people talk about the things they love. I am also happy when I am indulging in daydreaming with another. I am sad when I think of people that are missing out on how great they could be, and I frequently lament the "SJ nature" of society, whereby people sacrifice the best years of their lives to acquire a mortgage they might pay off in their 60s.



rshortman said:


> Where are you all hiding so I can meet you and engage in INFP intellectual/existential banter?


I am usually doing something solitary. I would love nothing more than my daydream to be broken by a beautiful woman. My advice would be not to hold back. If I'm not alone, I'm probably with one or two friends.



rshortman said:


> Okay so that was more of a diatribe than a question. Seriously, I need to connect with some of you men. I feel like you'd help me understand myself better. Thoughts?


What do you want to know about yourself?


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## Shwanald (Aug 11, 2010)

I like being an INFP, but at times it is very difficult. I hide behind an E mask a lot and it is exhausting. I work in a SJ dominate environment witch can be tough.


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## Zeitgeist (Feb 7, 2012)

Isthmus said:


> I think I'm hiding behind a T mask. Can't do an E mask, that eats up way too much energy. I wouldn't say it's particularly strange, but I do feel like I'm hiding a bit of myself from a lot of people I know. Though that part doesn't really mind spending time alone, so it's not that big of a deal.


I have that tendency as well to hide behind a T mask, particularly around INTPs, ISTPs and INTJs. I know what you mean about 'hiding' although I've gotten better about communicating to people what I'm really like.



Isthmus said:


> I'm probably very much oversimplifying or just plain wrong, but it feels like female INFPs have more options to advertising their INFP-ness without actually wearing their hearts on their sleeves, and somehow I would think that would help in forming friendships. Again, on some level I'm pretty sure it's not that easy, and that female INFPs aren't all the stereotype, but having added a healthy dose of wishful thinking, the grass does look a little bit greener on the other side.


 You can't stereotype an INFP for sure, because we're all different stages in our development. I imagine that an unaware/undeveloped INFP prolly brings out their ESTJ shadow more. Conversly, I imagine INFP men see all the masculine ESTJ men and think "What is wrong with me? Why do I seem to have more in common with women than with these preening, posturing dudes? They're all about as deep as a puddle!" 

I don't think you lack masculinity. There is something very provider/protector-ish about a devoted, caring deep thinker (i.e mysterious) INFP man.


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## Zeitgeist (Feb 7, 2012)

Adasta said:


> Other men are usually confused as to why I seem to attract women quite naturally yet I don't sleep with them (at least not immediately). They fail to see that these women are attracted simply because they can sense that I am not just trying to sleep with them.


Ha! Funny, I bet they trust you implicity. You prolly don't fight the "friend zone" like other guys do. Ironically, it's that relaxed sincerity which will get your platonic female friends to end up seducing you! Lol! I wonder if you would have the same effect on me or if by virtue of being INFP also, or if it would just reinforce the introvert in us both, making us more withdrawn and less engaged. On the other hand, I could see the Ne/Fe interaction resulting in a lot of passion. 



Adasta said:


> I have friends that are quite understanding of me. The male friends I have consider me to be capricious and intelligent; I respect all of my male friends for various reasons and they respect me mainly because I am knowledgeable, honest, and quite undemanding.


Sounds like you have some great friends. They prolly dually like you because you're not outright vying for the alpha dog position. I noticed that makes a lot of men uncomfortable, even SJ types. Some male groups don't even have an alpha. I suspect you belong to one of these groups or just hang out with men on a one-on-one basis. Each guy is uniquely valuable in what they can bring to the table, some amusing, some insightful, others ambitious or just handy. You prolly see yourself as different from them, never being able to connect with them on all levels because that would be impossible. This is pretty much exactly how I see my friends. They have their strengths and their weaknesses. I take it as it is and would not for the world, want to change them. In return, they don't try to change me.



Adasta said:


> The strangest thing about being an INFP man is, I think, my own lack of self-awareness. I am not often aware myself insofar as others perceive me, so it is always surprising when a girl comes along that likes me. I've known women to become angry that I have not made a move on them when I have simply been unaware that sitting in a room alone with them chatting may, in some way, suggest romance.


I could see that, not because you're not intuitive and observant but because women are especially coy and manipulative when it comes to the dating game (not INFPs, we dont play that shit). Combine that with being a 'dreamer' inside you're own head and an affinity for self-doubt and you got a guy who does not do a lot of sweet-talking and wooing. Not that you're not interested, just that you're not all smoke and mirrors. You're genuine. In fact, charming your way into a girl's panties would prolly feel forced and contrived and you'd hate yourself for doing it.



Adasta said:


> Happy when I am hearing about people talk about the things they love. I am also happy when I am indulging in daydreaming with another. I am sad when I think of people that are missing out on how great they could be, and I frequently lament the "SJ nature" of society, whereby people sacrifice the best years of their lives to acquire a mortgage they might pay off in their 60s.


Oh! Don't I know it! The credit system too, what kind of crap is that?! We live in a world where ESTJs are the majority and we are the tiny minority. Proof of this is the fact that they don't count those of us who don't want insurance or a 401k in political statistics. They literally ignore us! Not to mention all the micromanaging laws they pass every year, like banning smoking in bars or that horrific SOPA bill they tried shoving down our throats as of recent. No respect for individuality and freedom, equally offensive as if they barged into my home and told me I need to load my dishwasher a certain way because they're just "trying to help". Woo, sorry Fi tangent.



Adasta said:


> I am usually doing something solitary. I would love nothing more than my daydream to be broken by a beautiful woman. My advice would be not to hold back. If I'm not alone, I'm probably with one or two friends.


Drinking coffee and reading something existential no doubt? I should look for those guys and invade their personal bubble...soooo hard for me to do. No wonder INFP men and I are strangers.



Adasta said:


> What do you want to know about yourself?


That question make me blush. The fact that you're engaging me at all on that level is quite flattering. I don't even know what to say, lol.


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## T.N.D. (Mar 24, 2012)

I start to fear that I am an INFP raised to become INTJ! Learned that feelings is bad but logics is good.

Because I did a new test today where I was more honest and I got INFP instead of INTP. I also cant recognize myself being much INTP because I read that INTPs are cold but people that know me well has always described me as warm. I also is nurturing tending to place other needs ahead of my own.

How do you know if you are INTP or INFP or am I just a mix?

Is there a good description of male INFPs somewhere cause I understand that mostly INFPs are female.


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## Zeitgeist (Feb 7, 2012)

T.N.D. said:


> I start to fear that I am an INFP raised to become INTJ! Learned that feelings is bad but logics is good.
> 
> Because I did a new test today where I was more honest and I got INFP instead of INTP. I also cant recognize myself being much INTP because I read that INTPs are cold but people that know me well has always described me as warm. I also is nurturing tending to place other needs ahead of my own.
> 
> ...


 That's a good question. I have also struggled with this as I am not as much of a 'feeler' as most INFPs and I too, have spent my life in Thinker environments which value logic and look down on Feelers. I have consistently tested as a borderline Thinker/Feeler and wondered if I wasn't actually an INTP (or even an INFJ!).

I have found it's better to look at the whole picture and get to know each personality thoroughly and you'll notice you fit almost all the patterns of only one distinctly, even if you have a lot o commonality with other types. An INFP is a very distinct personality type, just as much as an INTJ. Patterns in thought and behavior include a desire to be alone mixed with keen interest in other people, a desite to "right" all the "wrongs" of the world or between family and friends (a peacemaker role), extreme interest in self/introspection, and a distinct desire for authenticity in yourself in others.

Where it gets confusing is just intellectual INFPs are. In fact, the term "dreamer" is a misnomer. The more accurate term should be "The Warm and Cuddly Intellectual" because we are just as analytical and inuitive. We just tend to go about it from a more existential angle as opposed to a scientific angle (although INFPs can be quite scientific about existentialism).


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## Kaspa (Jul 11, 2011)

rshortman said:


> I think I am the only INFP That I know IRL although it is possible that I do and INFPs are just lurking in the shadows and hiding behind E masks.
> 
> I digress. INFP men here on PerC are fascinating to me, particularly the straight males. How strange is it to be an INFP man? How do you feel? Where are you all hiding so I can meet you and engage in INFP intellectual/existential banter? I want to study you, intuit your problems, and fix all of your old wounds. Together, we can write some beautiful novels.
> 
> Okay so that was more of a diatribe than a question. Seriously, I need to connect with some of you men. I feel like you'd help me understand myself better. Thoughts?


Strange in a way, that societal expectations for "the Man" differ in myriads of ways in the way INFP man thinks and feels. INFP is total opposite for the caricaturic imago of business man. You get accusations/speculations of being gay, when you are not. 

We hide in the sewers and eat small children. Not really, but you can find us in the artsy-fartsy nightclub being that socially awkward 
guy in the corner. Or at the library looking up some art/history/philosophy/novels.

But I must say that I enjoy being INFP, and this is the only way I would like it to be. Even though life gets hard on us sometimes, that's life, and that's fine. Winning is done by getting hits, and still rising up again.


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## da_gobbo (Feb 26, 2012)

*How strange is it to be an INFP man?*
sometimes

*How do you feel?* 
happier and less confused than i was a year ago

*Where are you all hiding so I can meet you and engage in INFP intellectual/existential banter?*
behind the appearance of an INTX (probably an INTP, my interests and hobbies don't really shout F over T so unlees you really get to know me i'll seme like a T)

*Thoughts?* 
bats are really cute:tongue: (well all rodents really)


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## Zeitgeist (Feb 7, 2012)

da_gobbo said:


> *How strange is it to be an INFP man?*
> sometimes
> 
> *How do you feel?*
> ...


 <3 That's all I can say lol, just...<3


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## T.N.D. (Mar 24, 2012)

rshortman said:


> That's a good question. I have also struggled with this as I am not as much of a 'feeler' as most INFPs and I too, have spent my life in Thinker environments which value logic and look down on Feelers. I have consistently tested as a borderline Thinker/Feeler and wondered if I wasn't actually an INTP (or even an INFJ!).
> 
> I have found it's better to look at the whole picture and get to know each personality thoroughly and you'll notice you fit almost all the patterns of only one distinctly, even if you have a lot o commonality with other types. An INFP is a very distinct personality type, just as much as an INTJ. Patterns in thought and behavior include a desire to be alone mixed with keen interest in other people, a desite to "right" all the "wrongs" of the world or between family and friends (a peacemaker role), extreme interest in self/introspection, and a distinct desire for authenticity in yourself in others.
> 
> Where it gets confusing is just intellectual INFPs are. In fact, the term "dreamer" is a misnomer. The more accurate term should be "The Warm and Cuddly Intellectual" because we are just as analytical and inuitive. We just tend to go about it from a more existential angle as opposed to a scientific angle (although INFPs can be quite scientific about existentialism).


"I have found it's better to look at the whole picture and get to know each personality thoroughly and you'll notice you fit almost all the patterns of only one distinctly, even if you have a lot o commonality with other types. An INFP is a very distinct personality type, just as much as an INTJ. "

Yes, thats my opinion too. People are just combinations of all personalities types, just more one thing than another.


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## da_gobbo (Feb 26, 2012)

rshortman said:


> <3 That's all I can say lol, just...<3


well you did ask for thoughts

id also agree wigh some if the other posters in that youll modt lkkely find me doing somethjng wlquiet by myself (reading listening to music)

meeting and talking to women(relationship wise) is also difficult for me society expects men to make the first move but id only do that if i was certain she was interested (id not want to embarass myself or her with a mistake) the problrm there is im not good with subtle signs when i spot.them im never sure if tgeir rsally a sign of interest or just how she normally acts so im very unlikely to make the first move


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## Empecinado (May 4, 2010)

I think INFP males are especially susceptible to bullying. Society seems to put such an onus on defining male characteristics that INFPs don't seem to hold and it is unfair to force it on them. When I try to help I tried to model them after myself to deal with the external world but I know that just doesn't work for them. 


I have seen INFJ men become violent after emotional distress but I haven't seen INFPs react like that.


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## da_gobbo (Feb 26, 2012)

we canbecome violent but from my experience it takss years of pushing and then still needs a violent act towards us to get voolence from us we still have a self.defence mechanism and if your figbt or flight response is triggrred by an attck and you cant flee...

even in such a situation though (its happened very rarly and not for about 18 years at this point) my main though is i just want this to stop


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## The King Of Dreams (Aug 18, 2010)

INFP men make great friends. Every type has their flaws, but the good outweighs the bad.


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## Zeitgeist (Feb 7, 2012)

Empecinado said:


> I think INFP males are especially susceptible to bullying. Society seems to put such an onus on defining male characteristics that INFPs don't seem to hold and it is unfair to force it on them. When I try to help I tried to model them after myself to deal with the external world but I know that just doesn't work for them.
> 
> 
> I have seen INFJ men become violent after emotional distress but I haven't seen INFPs react like that.


 That's interesting..and truly unfortunate. (about bullying male INFPs) Wouldn't an INFJ male most likely get violent out of protective instinct?


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## Tkae (Oct 15, 2009)

rshortman said:


> I digress. INFP men here on PerC are fascinating to me,


Cool!

roud:

Finally some love and recog--



> *particularly the straight males.*


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## Zeitgeist (Feb 7, 2012)

Tkae said:


> Cool!
> 
> roud:
> 
> Finally some love and recog--


 Bahaha!!! Poor baby, I'm sorry! All the guys are interesting, not just the straight ones. Its just I wanted to heat grom the straight guys because they are sort of a paradox in society. Much love to ya *hug!


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## 7rr7s (Jun 6, 2011)

rshortman said:


> I think I am the only INFP That I know IRL although it is possible that I do and INFPs are just lurking in the shadows and hiding behind E masks.
> 
> I digress. INFP men here on PerC are fascinating to me, particularly the straight males. How strange is it to be an INFP man? How do you feel? Where are you all hiding so I can meet you and engage in INFP intellectual/existential banter? I want to study you, intuit your problems, and fix all of your old wounds. Together, we can write some beautiful novels.
> 
> Okay so that was more of a diatribe than a question. Seriously, I need to connect with some of you men. I feel like you'd help me understand myself better. Thoughts?


I've only met another INFP in the real world once, but she's all the way in FL. To answer your questions though.

It's pretty hard being a man, but being an INFP on top of it is pretty intense. Most of the time I feel like an outcast even among fellow INFPs. Being such a rare breed can get quite isolating and lonely at times. Most times, I feel alone, but maybe that's better because that's where I seem to be my best. 

Where am I hiding? I work for a religious bookstore which means hanging out in churches alot and not having any coworkers to hang out with. I'm not in school, so can't meet any people there. That leaves going out to bars and parties with freinds and meeting people there. The people I would meet through work aren't into the bar party scene, and the ones I'd meet at the bar tend not to be in the church scene. There allways seems to be a conflict with people. It's quite the dillemma.

Have fun studying and intuiting me, but I don't need or want a woman being responsible for fixing all my wounds. That's something a man has to do himself. At best, you could be supportive. I'm all for writing beautifull novels together though. You seem pretty cool yourself, but then again you ARE an INFP woman, so I guess that makes sense.

Final thought: when you said E mask, I thought you meant e-mask like being someone different online haha. :crazy::crazy::crazy:


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## da_gobbo (Feb 26, 2012)

rshortman said:


> Bahaha!!! Poor baby, I'm sorry! All the guys are interesting, not just the straight ones. Its just I wanted to heat grom the straight guys because they are sort of a paradox in society. Much love to ya *hug!


from what i remember infp in general are prone to being paradoxical

infp and a straight male may well be.even more paradoxical because a lot of common infp characteristics/sterotypical behaviours are viewed by society as more feminine than masculine so b ybeing yourself as an infp guy its very likely yojr not being what society expects you to be if your straight.

i've noticed several infp men saying people think they are gay when their not and there seem to be several of us who no loner identify as binary gendered


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## JoetheBull (Apr 29, 2010)

Isthmus said:


> I think I'm hiding behind a T mask. Can't do an E mask, that eats up way too much energy. I wouldn't say it's particularly strange, but I do feel like I'm hiding a bit of myself from a lot of people I know. Though that part doesn't really mind spending time alone, so it's not that big of a deal.
> 
> I'm probably very much oversimplifying or just plain wrong, but it feels like female INFPs have more options to advertising their INFP-ness without actually wearing their hearts on their sleeves, and somehow I would think that would help in forming friendships. Again, on some level I'm pretty sure it's not that easy, and that female INFPs aren't all the stereotype, but having added a healthy dose of wishful thinking, the grass does look a little bit greener on the other side.


 There is a chance that I am an INFP hiding behind an INTP mask also. I am still debating at the moment. I have thought about asking a very close friend on his opinion and insight. But kind of afraid to since he will bust my chops about me being an INFP if he ever figured out what one is and if I am one of them. I rather avoid that situation. I do have another close friend who I am very sure is an NT or at least a strong T type personality. I am unsure how to approach this topic with him though.


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## K._ (Apr 1, 2012)

I'm a 28 year old male, straight, INFP and to be honest, the older I've gotten, the easier it has been to come to terms with being "a mesure" different than others, especially other men. 

Initially studying Myers Briggs has helped me to understand that while I'm different, that different doesn't, by any stretch of the imagination, mean better or worse (as was my default assumption growing up). 

Furthermore, and of the utmost import, was the consequent realization that, if I'm different, then that makes everyone else different too! Which of course is one of the main aims of the Myers Briggs and the 16 types, to foster a sense of appreciation and understanding amongst the various types. 

And like many, when I tested as an INFP (I've never tested as anything else), I felt a grand sense of relief, akin to a person who has, after a lifetime of visting doctors to obtain an elusive diagnosis, finally was given a name to accompany their suffering. 

However, again, similarly; I realized that even though I now had a name for my suffering (INFP) that unfortunately (and predictably) there was no cure for it. 

I sincerely believe that it is hard simply being alive in this world, regardless of type. 

I've seen ENFJs suffer, and INFJs suffer, and ENFPs suffer, and ESFPs suffer and INTPs suffer, but they all continue on anyway with their life, seeking to find understanding, enjoyment and meaning in their life. 

As an INFP male, one of my biggest challenges has been my interactions with the opposite sex and cultivating romantic relationships.

In a patriarchal society, it is the man's burden to approach women and initiate any type of interaction. Because of my introversion and awkwardness, especially when I was in my teens, this was nearly impossible for me to do.

Now a days, it isn't so hard to approach a female I'm interested in, but finding someone who is on the same page as I am, still continues to be a challenge. 

It's like, I go up to a woman I think is cute and I'm like, "Lets talk about feminism, Kafka, existential philosophy, the origin of the universe, van Gogh, architecture, drums, anthropology, Charles Darwin..." and she's like "what?"

To which I respond, "Ok then, let's just talk about you and your life some more."


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## Coil (Mar 28, 2012)

K._ said:


> It's like, I go up to a woman I think is cute and I'm like, "Lets talk about feminism, Kafka, existential philosophy, the origin of the universe, van Gogh, architecture, drums, anthropology, Charles Darwin..." and she's like "what?"
> 
> To which I respond, "Ok then, let's just talk about you and your life some more."


THIS is why I always fall for INFP guys! Damn you and your depth and values and sexy way of not adhering to social norms for masculinity. Go find yourself an INFJ. ^^,


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## K._ (Apr 1, 2012)

Coil said:


> THIS is why I always fall for INFP guys! Damn you and your depth and values and sexy way of not adhering to social norms for masculinity. Go find yourself an INFJ. ^^,


Wonderful advice Coil!

Hmmm... do you know any?


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## The Proof (Aug 5, 2009)

it's not strange, I feel very "executive" most of the time, taking care of business, high energy

except for when I'm high, then I just chill



Coil said:


> THIS is why I always fall for INFP guys! Damn you and your depth and values and sexy way of not adhering to social norms for masculinity. Go find yourself an INFJ. ^^,


I tried and failed, she was perfect for me too

oh well, insert coin


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## Runvardh (May 17, 2011)

rshortman said:


> oh its so crazy. I looked at your profile and you're like a male version of me -0). You're even the same age.


How's your cold tolerance?


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## Wulfyn (May 22, 2010)

I feel disconnected. It's like the edges of my vision are out of focus and hazy. I look at people, constructs, institutions and culture and I do not feel a part of it. I see the systems and the rules that society has, and I know them to all be wrong. Nothing makes sense.

Because of this I hide myself away, spending more time trying to understand the things that interest and are important to me. I know that I should be more forthright but there is something in the way. I long to meet people that I can form these connections with, if nothing else than a selfish desire to be a part of something, but they always disappoint. But then I say this of myself as well. This is why I care what strangers think, but not what people who know me think. I was going to buy a Bounty but thought the strangers in the queue were judging it to be too girly a choice, so I bought a Snikers instead.


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## Geoffrey (Jan 27, 2012)

Wulfyn said:


> I feel disconnected. It's like the edges of my vision are out of focus and hazy. I look at people, constructs, institutions and culture and I do not feel a part of it. I see the systems and the rules that society has, and I know them to all be wrong. Nothing makes sense.
> Because of this I hide myself away, spending more time trying to understand the things that interest and are important to me. I know that I should be more forthright but *there is something in the way*. I long to meet people that I can form these connections with, if nothing else than a selfish desire to be a part of something, but they always disappoint. But then I say this of myself as well. This is why I care what strangers think, but not what people who know me think. I was going to buy a Bounty but thought the strangers in the queue were judging it to be too girly a choice, so I bought a Snikers instead.


Underneath the bridge
The tarp has sprung a leak
And the animals I've trapped
Have all become my pets
And I'm living off of grass
And the drippings from the ceiling
But it's okay to eat fish
'Cause they don't have any feelings
Something in the way
Ummmmm
-----"Something in the Way," Kurt Cobain.
~~~~----~~~~----~~~~
-----I know what you both mean. It's like a computer in an Amish barn. It's like a fish looking at a bird's nest. It's like a bird looking at a star. It's like a sequoia planted in a sand dune.


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## Zeitgeist (Feb 7, 2012)

Runvardh said:


> How's your cold tolerance?


 Are you kidding me? I'm Alaskan!


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## Toru Okada (May 10, 2011)

Tkae said:


>


I know this is late, but my thoughts exactly, lol


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## Sequestrum (Sep 11, 2011)

rshortman said:


> I think I am the only INFP That I know IRL although it is possible that I do and INFPs are just lurking in the shadows and hiding behind E masks.


For me, I have always lurked in the shadows. I wear a facade just like everyone else does, but mine doesn't try to fit in, in fact, mine usually does it's best not to fit in. I am light-hearted and don't tend to judge others, people seem to be naturally drawn to me, but the way I talk and act is very disengaging in a polite way. It would be very difficult to assess my personality type in real life unless you spent a lot of time around me to see my slip-ups when I accidentally let my true nature show.



> I digress. INFP men here on PerC are fascinating to me, particularly the straight males. How strange is it to be an INFP man? How do you feel? Where are you all hiding so I can meet you and engage in INFP intellectual/existential banter? I want to study you, intuit your problems, and fix all of your old wounds. Together, we can write some beautiful novels.


When I was younger, I actually felt like I was superior to other guys in a lot of ways. I never said this or showed it, but I felt it. Mostly because I noticed most guys didn't stand up for themselves or even bullied others. I was very different from this. I didn't tolerate bullying; I would directly challenge the bully on behalf of others without being asked to. I also stood up for myself whenever I had to. The thing that made me really look down on bullies was that after we'd fought, and I won, they'd try to be friends with me... that really disgusted me.

Now that I'm older, and more mature, I realize that everyone is just misunderstood or living their life the best they know how. I don't know if I'd change anything if I could go back in time, but I do feel bad for always coming to blows with others when there was a situation like that. Maybe if I'd tried to understand the situation of everyone better things may have ended differently with less people being hurt. Now I realize that not only am I human, but I'm not a very good one, I'm actually a bit cold and vicious sometimes.



> Okay so that was more of a diatribe than a question. Seriously, I need to connect with some of you men. I feel like you'd help me understand myself better. Thoughts?


To be honest, nothing has given me more insight that talking with an NT type. When I express myself to an NT, they tend to be able to use their rationalizing skills to point me in the right direction. They certainly don't have all the answers, but they are often on the right track to getting to them. I have my moments where I can seem wise, but they are passing moments that flee as easily as they came.

Hope this helps, although I may not be the best example of an INFP male due to the circumstances of my life.


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## Pom87 (Apr 7, 2012)

How is it to be an INFP man? Well, I cant really compare myself to others, so normal in my own way, which means strange. The strangest thing is probably feeling different while still being normal, if that is understandable.

I am extremely hard to get to know, and then even harder to get to know well. I mostly keep to myself. When I am at a party I mostly tend to only talk to the people who I am with, and not even all of them. When someone I don't know approaches me, it always feels like they catch me off-guard so the first meeting will probably seem strange. To get me talking, is done by getting me drunk, effects may vary, I won't get aggressive though.

Thoughts: 
Many, which I need to understand before I can share them


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## Runvardh (May 17, 2011)

rshortman said:


> Are you kidding me? I'm Alaskan!


I've lived north of 50 all my life and in a continental climate up till 5 years go. I also know that climates are different depending on which ocean you're facing and your altitude. Being Alaskan tells me little. ^_^


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