# Are Fe-users really sensitive ?



## Eikichi (Feb 15, 2014)

I often mistyped Fe as Fi and now I'm wondering if Fe users can really be considered as "caring with others". I'm sure Fi users are really sensitive, and help others to do the right thing and be in peace with themselves, they're literally good people.
But from what I saw this is not the case for Fe-user. I think they just want to help/please in a egoist/attention seeking way and they just want to be acknowledged by people because they're obsessed by social recognition. 

To illustrate, if a Fe-dom and a Fi-dom have to save a people, I think they'll have this tought process :

Fe : If I save him, I'll become his hero and he will talk about me to his friends. So people will see me as a good person and love me.

Fi : I have to save him, because life is precious and that is the right thing to do. No matter what it will cost to me.

What do you think about ? Maybe I'm wrong.


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## CupcakesRDaBestBruv (Aug 6, 2013)

Eikichi said:


> I often mistyped Fe as Fi and now I'm wondering if Fe users can really be considered as "caring with others". I'm sure Fi users are really sensitive, and help others to do the right thing and be in peace with themselves, they're literally good people.
> But from what I saw this is not the case for Fe-user. I think they just want to help/please in a egoist/attention seeking way and they just want to be acknowledged by people because they're obsessed by social recognition.
> 
> To illustrate, if a Fe-dom and a Fi-dom have to save a people, I think they'll have this tought process :
> ...


110% wrong. Us Fe users don't have big egos.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Eikichi said:


> I often mistyped Fe as Fi and now I'm wondering if Fe users can really be considered as "caring with others". I'm sure Fi users are really sensitive, and help others to do the right thing and be in peace with themselves, they're literally good people.
> But from what I saw this is not the case for Fe-user. I think they just want to help/please in a egoist/attention seeking way and they just want to be acknowledged by people because they're obsessed by social recognition.
> 
> To illustrate, if a Fe-dom and a Fi-dom have to save a people, I think they'll have this tought process :
> ...


I always thought Fe cared more about how others feel while Fi cares more about internal feelings about things.


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## Max (Aug 14, 2014)

tanstaafl28 said:


> I always thought Fe cared more about how others feel while Fi cares more about internal feelings about things.


If Fi cares internally, it must explain why people think I am a 'selfish asshole' sometimes.


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## Mammon (Jul 12, 2012)

Fe: Objective. This person feels bad, Imma make them feel good.
Fi: Subjective. How would I feel in the same situation? Imma do what I'd like another to do to me were I in the same situation.

That's somewhat the difference, I think.



> Fe : If I save him, I'll become his hero and he will talk about me to his friends. So people will see me as a good person and love me.
> 
> Fi : I have to save him, because life is precious and that is the right thing to do. No matter what it will cost to me.


Seems like a enneagram 1 thing if anything. You fail to grasp Fe.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Wontlookdown said:


> If Fi cares internally, it must explain why people think I am a 'selfish asshole' sometimes.


And yet you don't have Fi, you have Fe.


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## FearAndTrembling (Jun 5, 2013)

Yeah, you're wrong. You're basically saying that Fe only acts, for the sake of appearances. To look good. Not any ethical imperative.


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## Max (Aug 14, 2014)

tanstaafl28 said:


> And yet you don't have Fi, you have Fe.


My Fe is still developing; my Fi was stronger. I done several tests and they confirmed this.


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## Pancreatic Pandora (Aug 16, 2013)

Eikichi said:


> But from what I saw this is not the case for Fe-user. I think they just want to help/please in a egoist/attention seeking way and they just want to be acknowledged by people because they're obsessed by social recognition.


That's not Fe. It sounds to me like you are confusing Fe with unhealthy enneagram 2s.

Ok, first of all, the feeling functions are not feelings, as in, emotions or moods, and are not empathy or caring about something, although they are somewhat related to those actions. Jung said "feeling tells us wether something is agreeable or not". Basically, the feeling function, as it is a judging function, judges the "feeling" value of something. It's the method by which we determine what feels right ethically. One is oriented by the subjective factor, Fi, the other by the objective factor, Fe.

What this translates to is that Fe types determine value based on the outer world. You go to someone's house and say something is beautiful because that's what people normally do in those situations, because it makes the other person feel good. You remain serious if you go to the theatre. You have fun if you are in a friends group. You say something's wrong because you see the suffering in someone else.

On the other hand, Fi determines value by their internal sense of right and wrong. I have experienced this abuse and I know how it feels thus I think it's wrong. I spontaneously choose the emotions I express based on how I feel. If I've never experienced something before, I determine its value by putting myself in someone else's shoes and thinking how I would react if I were in their situation.

It's simple, really, though their manifestations can be very subtle, especially so in types who are not dominant feelers.

And if you find this interesting and want to understanding the types and functions in depth you should read Psychological Types - Wikisocion .


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Wontlookdown said:


> My Fe is still developing; my Fi was stronger. I done several tests and they confirmed this.



Interesting, since ENTP has tertiary Fe. No Fi to speak of. Ne-Ti-Fe-Si.


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## Max (Aug 14, 2014)

tanstaafl28 said:


> Interesting, since ENTP has tertiary Fe. No Fi to speak of. Ne-Ti-Fe-Si.


Yeah, I got Ne-Ti-Se-Fi for some reason. Fe was my least developed, as was Si.


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## Stasis (May 6, 2014)

I think the examples are a little off but I do see Fe as superficial. At least it can be.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Wontlookdown said:


> Yeah, I got Ne-Ti-Se-Fi for some reason. Fe was my least developed, as was Si.


I've taken those tests and the only thing I get the same is Ne is super dominant. The rest fluctuate like crazy.


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## Golden Rose (Jun 5, 2014)

Reposting this example because it's SO accurate.

*Fe user*: Holds the door open for everyone, makin' sure everyone in their group got inside
*Fi user*: Notices the one individual who got the door slammed in their face and sticks up for them

*Fe*: Group harmony, "greater good", a need for validation of their own morals, no strong opinions, understanding, sympathy
*Fi*: Focus on individuals, personal values, difficulty to express deep feelings, very opinionated, relating, empathy


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## Max (Aug 14, 2014)

tanstaafl28 said:


> I've taken those tests and the only thing I get the same is Ne is super dominant. The rest fluctuate like crazy.


I know right? I always appear to get Ne-Ti and the rest are screwed up; apparently my Fe is barely developed, and my Si is super close to my Se.


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## aendern (Dec 28, 2013)

You know, I think it's more that Fe users wear what they're feeling on their sleeves and their faces.

And Fi users don't.

I don't think one is necessarily more sensitive than the other. I think one is just more showy about it than the other.

But maybe I'm wrong -- maybe Fe users are sensitive. *shrugs*


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## Quernus (Dec 8, 2011)

I think anyone with a conscience and normal human reflexes would see a drowning person and react with "!!!!" and try to help, if possible, without thinking much about it. Survival instincts and all. The way you describe Fe sounds more like a sociopath.

I was able to better understand Fe (sort of) when I compared it to my Te, but in terms of feelings (in relation to other people) instead of thoughts (in relation to concepts). Both are oriented towards external evidence and circumstance. But it doesn't mean Fe-users don't have real feelings of their own, just as Te-users have real thoughts of their own. As a Te-user, I attend to and work with ideas, facts and concepts... in perhaps a similar way that Fe works with people, feelings and social stuff. Observe what's out there, react accordingly. So for example with this:



Merihim said:


> Fe: Objective. This person feels bad, Imma make them feel good.
> Fi: Subjective. How would I feel in the same situation? Imma do what I'd like another to do to me were I in the same situation.
> 
> That's somewhat the difference, I think.


I think that's a good way to look at it, though I would add to the Fe: "This person feels bad. I'm going to make them feel better. What do I know about this person and the current circumstances that would work to make them feel better?" Although I'm sure it all happens very fast and the latter part may not even be a conscious thought process, it's just what is more likely to inform their choices. 

Not that it's all black and white either, I mean as a Fi-user I'm not completely oblivious to differences between people, and I'm not going to 100% of the time rely on what I would want when trying to figure out what someone else wants. But it's probably the initial factor that I'll think of or use.


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## Enlightenedakacrazy (May 16, 2014)

Eikichi said:


> Fe : If I save him, I'll become his hero and he will talk about me to his friends. So people will see me as a good person and love me.
> Fi : I have to save him, because life is precious and that is the right thing to do. No matter what it will cost to me.


Here's what I think.

Fe considers what everyone feels.
Fi considers what oneself feel.

Fe makes emotional judgements based on what the group feels ("Should *we* let person x back into our community?").
Fi makes emotional judgements based on what him/herself feels ("I feel that person x deserves {not} to be invited back into our community").

So in concept the difference is only whether they use more external or more internal feelings to make the emotional judgement.
Fe sways more based on other emotions, e.g. inviting the group to have a say/share their emotional judgements.
Fi sways not, believing his/her emotions are sufficient on their own to reach a conclusion (but may still listen to Ne|Se or Te, like the Fe user will also consider Ne|Se)).

Obvious pitfalls (goes with the dichotomy of I vs E generally):
Fe - may rely too much on what others feel, may not consider what him/herself feels enough.
Fi - may rely too much on her own feelings, not considering enough how others may feel differently.

You could perhaps generalize this I-E dichotomy like this:
Xi believes in/is looking for universals/unity.
Xe believes in/is looking for diversity/multitude.

So then, the tendencies:
Se - There's many ways to do physical things/activity etc.
Ne - There's many ways to expect/consider/visualize/imagine.
Te - There's many ways to solve problems/break things down.
Fe - There's many ways to do morals.
Si - There IS just one (or A Better) way to do physical things/daily activity stuff etc.
Ni - There IS just one (or A Better) way to expect/consider/visualize/imagine.
Ti - There IS just one (or A Better) way to solve problems/break things down.
Fi - There IS just one (or A Better) way to do morals.

Anyway, this:


> Fi : I have to save him, because life is precious and that is the right thing to do. No matter what it will cost to me.


is completely misguided.
Fi does good things to feel like he/she's in the right in the same way that Ti feels he/she always needs to be correct when it comes to logic etc to feel like he/she is smart or whatever. ->
Fi crave to feel that he/she is a good (ethical) person.
Ti crave to think that he/she is a smart (logical) person.
And Fe craves that his/her external environment (an extension of him/herself) is ethical.
While Te craves that his/her external environment (also an extension of him/herself) is logical.

All Xe functions may have a tendency to be more obsessed with the recognition of others, perhaps especially Je, but that doesn't make the introverted alternative any better in comparison, just more independent.
And of course if you like independence you might argue for that, and I mean I like independence, but I especially don't see the logic behind considering Fi particularly to be superior to Fe, and "which is better, I or E" seem to be a different topic.


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## KittyKraz13 (Jan 3, 2012)

It's my understanding that Feelers rationalize by applying human needs and values towards situations. In extraverts this comes across as observing the objective (other people, society) and adding yourself to it, thereby making you part of a group and its various morals, and in introverts from evaluating the self and those one-on-one interactions, and taking away from those interactions to create a baser code of morals. 

In an ESFP this may come across as: *"I need life to be amiable according to my value system (Fi), and I must be able to experience/cause/create/etc. this amiability (Se)". *• This is why ESFPs are 'comedian's and 'actors' and like to make people laugh and have (what's their idea of) fun: they take it upon themselves to make people feel good _in the now_, because when people are laughing , people are at peace. Of course ESFPs can get angry, and be selfish, and be heroes.​
An INFJ on the other hand is probably going to be more like: *"I need life to hold a meaningful significance according to what I uncover (Ni), and I need/will help others to be amiable with one another while I do it [to teach others the importance of what I uncover/to be accepted by others/etc)."*• This is why INFJ's are great teachers, and counselors. They discover what works and what's important, and attempts to relay this to others in a kind and helpful way.

​
And any type can be sensitive, but have different triggers and reactions (not all of which are related to MBTI). *IMO though, Fi users tend to be most sensitive in social situations because they take things personally at a greater rate than other types. *It's understandable that this is the case, because by insulting them you are directly insulting their code of life. When you insult a Fe user's behaviour you're simply insulting what they understand as needed by the group at the time. From my experience, Fe users aren't as sensitive to personal insults, but disorder in the social circle. Fe users are easier to notice when they're shaken up though, because they are attempting to order the humanitarian environment ("guys, please stop fighting"). A Fi user's probably more likely to retreat into themselves if you hurt them and simply get noticeably less jovial.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

I think of a cartoons like Family Guy or The Simpsons. Both main characters are reckless ESFPs (unhealthy/stereotypical/it's a cartoon not real life). They don't really show empathy the way Fe characters do. They definitely have their feelings though. At the end of the show sometimes these characters like Peter or Homer will hang their heads down and they have "deep" little monologue admitting that they did something wrong and feel bad about it. As opposed to an Fe user who would focus more of the feelings of others and pay less attention to themselves.


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