# Height and Masculinity/Femininity/Desirability



## Fanille (Sep 3, 2009)

I originally put this quote in my "Same Sex"/Androgynous-type features thread because I thought it was interesting that someone who I think is absolutely gorgeous says that she feels "like a man," but I figured I'd start a new thread related to height because her insecurity seems to stem mainly from how tall she is.



Blake Lively said:


> I feel like a tranny a lot of the time. I don’t know, I’m ... large? They put me in six-inch heels, and I tower over every man. I’ve got this long hair and lots of clothes and makeup on. I just feel really big a lot of the time, and I’m surrounded by a lot of tiny people. I feel like a man sometimes.


What do you guys think? Do shorter people make you feel more masculine? Do taller people make you feel weaker or more feminine? Does height influence how desirable you think a person is at all?

I'm 5'4", 140 lbs, though people often say I look taller and bigger. Taller women don't intimidate me or make me feel less masculine at all (and I don't think of taller women as being unfeminine either, though I generally don't "genderize" many traits at all). It annoys me when women have "height requirements," partly because height is the physical attribute that I have the least control over, and partly because they are often based on unfounded insecurities.


----------



## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

I'm 5 foot 9.5 inches and about 210lbs (Very overweight for my height, but a fair amount of it is muscle in my lower body from plenty of exercise in the gym), so I'm fairly average in terms of male height. I don't think being a certain height makes someone more masculine or feminine, and it usually doesn't affect how attracted I might be to someone, although I would prefer women closer to my height.


----------



## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

I am actually about 6' with a solid frame, and it usually has left me feeling awkward, and it's been something to overcome emotionally.

I do not like towering over the other women in our "circle" when we get together to chat (I usually sit, when I can, to be on eye level), I don't like being taller than 80% of the guys I pass on the street. I just feel big and clunky, and I'm also bummed I don't feel like I can wear heels often or some clothing styles. Most clothes for plus size women are also made for SHORTER plus sized women, so I've had to really develop a knack for picking the right things and have had to avoid some styles.

I am also attracted to men who are close to my height or taller, which cuts down on the dating pool and again leaves me sometimes feeling "different" or isolated; and I think some men are intimidated by my size. I think they like smaller women who they can feel bigger than and thus more the protector and 'strong'' while I do like men who physically make me safe and engulfed, it says nothing about a person's value or character, it's just about physical attributes triggering certain emotions in people. I just like big guys who make ME feel safe in turn.

I would definitely feel more feminine if I were shorter. Because of my size, I don't think I feel quite as vulnerable as other women (I can defend myself adequately against predators, at least physically; and I think I am less likely to be targeted as a victim), so that's good; but I still wish I was smaller.


----------



## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

I have a preference for feminine features, and most of my boyfriends have been my height or shorter. I'm not sure if there is a connection, but I think taller men may seem more threatening on a subconscious level. My current boyfriend is quite a bit taller than I am. My only boyfriend before that who was taller, or had masculine features, was the abusive one, so perhaps this will be an opportunity to unlearn the negative associations. Attraction will grow as I become accustomed to not feeling weak and helpless with a taller man. My current boyfriend may be able to rest his chin on the top of my head, but I am larger. I think it balances out.


----------



## Stars (Jul 23, 2009)

Yes, shorter people make me feel more masculine. I'm 5'9 which is 1 inch above the average male height.


----------



## Lucretius (Sep 10, 2009)

I'm 6'2''. I'm pretty comfortable with my height. :happy:


----------



## firedell (Aug 5, 2009)

Being my height, it is hard to find a short man. I have no choice. :tongue: Oh I am 4ft 11inches, and 117lbs. (If that moves the conversation any further)


----------



## Scruffy (Aug 17, 2009)

I'm 5'11" at a solid 180-185lb (It fluctuates), I'm not overweight, or slim, I'm just somewhat above average build, I have average masculine looks nothing crazy. I love tall girls, I don't even care if they are taller than me it gives a look of elegance I love. I like girls to be feminine, I love the male/female contrast.


----------



## slowriot (Nov 11, 2008)

Im 6'1" plus Im overweight, but even when I lose some weight I'll still be a big guy, I cant see myself as very thin. So I look for a woman thats about my height and not like 5'2" I guess 5'7" to 5'9" would be what I look for. I dont care if shes even my height or higher.


----------



## Verdant Hollow (Aug 25, 2009)

> I stood high upon a mountain top,
> Naked to the world
> In front of
> Every kind of girl.
> ...


Yeah, it doesn't really seem to matter to me. 

Beyond proportions... I do like feminine women usually. You can be lithe or just cute as a button, don't matter. But general size and shape has no bearing on those things.

My proportions aren't what drive away the women, me being 5'10" 170s-180s. If she's particular, then sure, but otherwise it's usually not a big deal.


----------



## Lady K (Oct 13, 2009)

I'm short. I like being short. Well, most of the time. I do hate having to climb on counter tops to reach things. That being said, I still think tall women are very attractive, and I certainly wish sometimes that I had myself a set of long gams like Blake Lively. I enjoy being short because it makes it easier to be cuddled by a taller man, which is my preference. I'm okay with not being supermodel tall, because I don't need or want to be super sexy.


----------



## Briggs (Aug 23, 2009)

I am 5'11" average/curvy with lanky arms legs etc.

I used to be more aware of my height.....now I dont care. I wear heels etc. Whomever has a problem with it, well...it is their problem not mine.


----------



## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

hmm well I am 5'8. Right on the regular height for males. But I am still pretty short compared to most males. I don't mind...my girlfriend is still smaller than me and all...and I guess I like it that way. I've had several crushes on taller or bigger women though. So yea....I dunno....I'm just a normal dude attracted to normal dudettes.


----------



## Decon (Dec 9, 2008)

I stand 6' 2.5" and weigh 160 lbs. My girlfriends were always shorter than me.


----------



## Verdant Hollow (Aug 25, 2009)

Damn! Some of you guys need to eat a bit more. Decon, you're almost a foot taller than Manny and you're only 20 lbs heavier...


----------



## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

I've never consciously allowed height to influence my decisions. I think it is just coincidental that most of my partners have been short. I haven't had very many boyfriends. In all, I've only dated three men who were my height or shorter, and if I count my current relationship, I've been with two who were taller. That means only slightly over half were short, if I count the ones who were exactly my height as short. I'm 5'5".


----------



## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

Yea....I'm like 160 pounds


----------



## Liontiger (Jun 2, 2009)

I'm 5'4" and about 125 pounds, and the girl I'm with is 5'1" and underweight (dunno the exact poundage). It was uncomfortable for me at first because I'm always the "little spoon" despite the fact that I'm bigger :crazy: But I've gotten used to it.


----------



## Fanille (Sep 3, 2009)

A couple of more thoughts, some of which address various points people have made:


While I do very much appreciate beauty, there are plenty of different women I find beautiful. The long, shapely legs of Blake Lively are certainly one thing I like about her, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate a petite brunette like Natalie Portman as well.
One thing I do like about taller women over shorter women, though, is that my children will have a much better chance of being taller. I'd hate to have my kids stuck with the curse of being short.
I don't think height preferences are an indication of character either. Pretty much any physical attribute can trigger emotional reactions you have no control over. But height is less of an issue for me than it seems to be for some other people.
On the subject of security, does anyone think a shorter but more muscular man could do a better job of protecting people than a tall but skinny man?
On a more personal note, I used to worry a lot more about the fact that I was short when I was younger, but I don't so much anymore. It could be that I know more girls now, I have more muscle on my frame, I can play to my strengths better (i.e. I can lift heavy things and run fast), and/or I carry myself with more confidence.


----------



## angularvelocity (Jun 15, 2009)

Jennywocky said:


> I am actually about 6' with a solid frame, and it usually has left me feeling awkward, and it's been something to overcome emotionally.
> 
> I do not like towering over the other women in our "circle" when we get together to chat (I usually sit, when I can, to be on eye level), I don't like being taller than 80% of the guys I pass on the street. I just feel big and clunky, and I'm also bummed I don't feel like I can wear heels often or some clothing styles. Most clothes for plus size women are also made for SHORTER plus sized women, so I've had to really develop a knack for picking the right things and have had to avoid some styles.
> 
> ...


lets go on a date. i like tall women. buuuut you can't wear heels near me or you will most likely surpass my height lol.

im 6'1 160-165lbs.

I saw someone say average height for males is 5'8.. i can guarantee you 100% males average height is 5'10'' and average women's is 5'7''. I didn't believe those numbers but my professor said he would bet anyone a lunch that when we took the class average it would be with .25'' of that average. he said the past 8 years of ALL of his classes.. none deviated. pretty crazy stuff.

To the ladies - would you date a shorter man? And how much does a man's height matter to you when considering him 'dateable'?

To the men - would you date a taller girl? And how much does a woman's height matter to you when considering them as a potential girlfriend?

It would be absurd for any of us here to say we don't judge by appearances so I'm curious to know how height affects all of your preferences with the opposite(or same) gender for dating.

I think women that are between 5'6 and 5'9 are extremely sexy. 5'10-6'0 are *really* hot too. From 5'3 to 5'5 I think it's okay, but I prefer taller...but would still consider dating them. When it drops to 5'2 and below... I feel like I'm hugging a child(no offense to the shorter ladies on the forum).


----------



## Liontiger (Jun 2, 2009)

I always seem to go after girls who are shorter than me (I'm 5"4), but I'm the "submissive" one. It's kinda funny when I'm the little spoon but I'm taller :laughing:


----------



## Gracie (Dec 13, 2009)

At 4'11" I would be fairly surprised to find many potential dates smaller than I was as long as they were over 12:crazy:I would personally prefer a guy to be taller than me - for obvious reasons, given my own size.

I like being small, usually - I'm fairly slim as well so I guess the whole thing of being "petite" can be nice. All of my family are small so it's not something I'm very conscious of on a day-to-day level, but when I am recalled to it I like being the "little one". There's an element of novelty to it, and most people seem to think it's cute.


----------



## Isitso (Dec 3, 2009)

I'm 5'9 and 128 lbs. To me being taller than average is a mixed blessing. I like how I look when no one is around if that makes sense; I can wear the highest heels I want and exaggerate my long legs, I think being tall and lean gives a unique sense of elegance and delicacy. However, when people are around I just look big and possibly intimidating. It is challenging to feel feminine when you are towering over all the other women around you. Growing up tall, I never had some of the opportunities that a woman of average height experienced as a part of "womanhood", I was never called cute and I could never have the ideal slow dance experience of resting my head on a man's shoulder (not that I would want to). I generally prefer men that are at least one inch taller than me, although I have dated men that were my height or an inch shorter. Being around a taller man is something I find more relaxing, it allows me to temporarily release my unwelcomed cultural duty of appearing as a tall leader type figure.


----------



## Claviger (Dec 20, 2009)

6'2" here, most women I have dated were between 5'0 and 5'4", actually never dated anyone taller, and not because I was being discriminatory at all, it's just that short women are who I have hooked up with.

I wonder, is it thus because those are who are attracted to me or because those are the women that I respond to? I can assure you that a 5'10" woman that is pretty I would not ignore if she showed interest 

Liontiger: I am the little spoon every night  Wife is 5'1" and as I said, I'm 6'2", brings an odd image to mind lmao


----------



## Cookie Monster (Nov 6, 2009)

I am 5'0.5" in bare feet. It is hard for me to imagine all these tall girls having issues too...I would love to be tall . I've never liked being short. Clothes never fit, can't get no respect because people think you are 12... But it is what it is . 

Height is not really an issue of attraction for me. Being 3" shy of meeting the qualifications to be part of the Little People of America, most men are taller than me. I do prefer shorter men (between 5'5 and 5'10), even though I see this strange trend of shorter guys wanted taller women...and all these shorter women wanting 6'+ guys. Masculinity is not about height for me, but about a nice broad chest and shoulders. A nice-looking face is very important to me.


----------



## Femme (Jul 12, 2009)

edit-- Nevermind.


----------



## Slider (Nov 17, 2009)

5'8, 150lbs....actually, more like 5'7 1/2. The last girl I dated was about 5'9. I prefer shorter women, but am more concerned with reliability and stability.

Being a man makes me feel masculine. Wearing makeup and a dress would probably make me feel feminine.


----------



## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

I agree with Cookie Monster; being short sucks. People don't respect you as much. A lot of me and my short friends get a lot more shit than our taller counterparts. I get people who treat my like I'm a fucking kid, and to top it all off, it makes getting a girlfriend damn near impossible. I only got mine because I appealed to her T and did: "Before you discard me, name one good reason why we shouldn't at least try for one date? If it works out well, then that's good and we can do it again. If it doesn't work out well, then I won't pester you about it again."


----------



## jadedtortoise (Mar 17, 2010)

When I was in highschool there was a large percentage of girls who were 5"-5"3 so I felt super manly for a long time because well i'm almost 5'9 with a stocky but hourglass figure. However, I've been around since then plenty of people near my height that I feel pretty average. I'd prefer to look and feel short  sadly my boyfriend is my exact height, so poop!


----------



## Humilis Curator (Feb 26, 2010)

I am just a tad over 6ft
As for females I like tall and shorter ones because taller females generally have longer legs and I am a leg guy. Shorter females are more cuddly and "petite". However it can go both ways, tall females can be cuddly and petite and I have seen some shorter ladies out there with nice legs. I don't think it affects your real masculinity/femininity but society standards of what they are it will but who cares about the status quo of societies perceptions on beauty? I sure as hell don't.


----------



## kdm1984 (Jul 8, 2009)

I think height influences opinions of masculinity and femininity far less than body type and facial structure. Consider the criticism 5'2" Jillian Michaels gets for being muscular and having more angular facial features.


----------



## DarklyValentine (Mar 4, 2010)

Wicked eyebrows creaks up - with a creaking noise _i really need to get that fixed._
Cant mind what height I put on this profile of mine but surely i added an inch for the slippers of mine. Actually I normally put my correct height but my imagination tends to run amok these days.

Where was I, ah:
less women know there proper height than they do the country where ullaanbataris located. A simple race at heart with a fondness for shoes.

men tend to know excatly what they are minus delusions and fluff it up a bit..well tis on account of us being who we are

Wicked are you saying their imaginations run wild to to the point of delusions. (Simple spake from an imaginary benchmark not of this reality they have a fondness for big and tall = strong...and that your 5 ft 9.5 without said splendferous slippers.

Uhuh

That aside ive no preferences whether the opposite species is smaller or taller. Merely they know the words of
fine corsetry
Boots _oi above the knee_
And can bake a delicious chocolate cake. Mind you a fixed point of discrimination, lacking of substance, is exactly that in my head, nevertheless

_wicked swings out of this un beating chest_


----------



## keepsake (Mar 28, 2010)

hello
i'm keepsake
i'm 5'3
and 110-115 lbs
my boyfriends have ranged from 5'7 - 6'5...
although height has propelled...ive never let it influence me.


----------



## la musa candido (Feb 19, 2010)

i'm 5'4". i like tall guys. it's not that i wouldn't date shorter guys but it's like u said, it's an insecurity thing. i feel safer. if a guy who was my height could make me feel safe then i'd date him, but anything much shorter is kinda a turn off. i think ur right about girls feeling unfeminine being taller because now that i think of it that's probably the case for me being unattracted to men shorter than me. i also don't like dating guys skinnier than me cuz i feel self-conscious about my weight when i do.


----------



## Alima (Mar 28, 2010)

I'm 5'10", and 125lbs give or take a few. I have a thin/kinda athletic body type. I prefer guys that are my height or taller, but it's not the end of the world if they're a little shorter than me.


----------



## Who (Jan 2, 2010)

On the front page when this has a new post in it, it just says "Height and..."

I must admit, when I first noticed that, I thought this thread was about something else completely.


----------



## Harmonyrose (Feb 3, 2010)

I'm 5'6" and 105 lbs. I prefer men that are taller than I am, but honestly as long as your not stick thin, height isn't something that's really important to me. Truthfully I'd much rather have someone whose mind could match mine.


----------



## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

It sucks to be a short guy. I like girls that are somewhat taller than me. I've been short most of my life (in second grade, I was routinely mistaken for a kindergarterner) , so people being shorter than me freaks me the fuck out. Besides, who doesn't love being at eye level with a nice pair of breasts?

I'm 5'6'', and this thread explains to me why I find it so hard to find girls. It's not that I'm a blob; I've got nice arms, toned legs, although the middle's a little slouchy, but I keep it covered anyway. I don't look pale or overly tan. So it appears as if shortness has me buggered. Only one solution: date oriental Asians or pygmies.


----------



## Parttime muse (Feb 8, 2010)

I'm 4'11 and a HALF" (that half makes me feel better) But I'm a cute little deer to a lot of people. Unfortunately, I attract younger boys and creepy guys. The my first date was with someone two years younger than me but he was like maybe 5'7". I look rather young like 12 to 18 but I'm 24. So, I think height does make a difference in how you look. I think taller women are more intimidating than taller men.


----------



## YourMom (Mar 13, 2010)

I'm 6'6 and 180 lbs. Tall and slim. I'll probably end up being around 200 in four years when I'm 25 and my has filled out/bones got denser.

Anyways, human height is a tribal factor of dominance. For women, they are automatically more attracted to taller men as they seek security. There are ways around this for shorter guys, though. Once you realize that what they're after is security, all you have to do is show them that you can provide that security.

But, the top three factors that make males attractive to women are supposedly:
1. Height (signifier of dominance)
2. Hand size (if a guy presses his large hands against a female's smaller hands, she will feel some attraction)
3. Style (knowing how to dress and make yourself look good is a signifier of high social status)


----------



## Iwilleatyouslowly (May 5, 2010)

Gah I just love boys! :crazy: I have a particular weakness for Asian guys (though really any guy that I think is cute I'm game for) and I don't care how tall you are. I think height differences of any kind are so cute though. I'm not very picky for feminine or masculine looks but a really buff guy would probably scare me off. No offense to the gym-going guys out there, I just can't help but doubt we'd have similar interests if you spend a bunch of time in the gym. Plus, I just feel intimidated. I don't feel the need to be physically stronger than the guys I date, but if you could crush me like a bug...not so much.

I wonder if this is because I'm average height at 5'4''. Also, I haven't had much success in love, so I figure why exclude anyone from me search?


----------



## kyebosh (Mar 18, 2010)

Not important to me, especially since I look up to anyone not sitting down 

Height can be insanely attractive (but then, I've noticed I do seem to like intimidating women ). My ex is 6' & often wears heels, I think it's attractively distinctive. Femininity is less about what you have & more about what you do with it, IMHO. She had the same issues (feeling big/taking up too much space) but I think she eventually came to see it as a unique trait, not a burden.

I really hate the whole "I only go for guys taller than me" thing. It's shallow. It's literally no different than me saying "I only go for women with blonde hair". Taste is one thing, but exclusivity is just silly. Hopefully there's a few out there who don't mind not being towered over or Imma die lonely


----------



## AppleBite (May 5, 2010)

I'm 5 feet 7, about 115 pounds. I know, not that tall, but since I've been naturally skinny for all of my life I get kind of insecure about that. I use to be made fun of for looking like a boy. I am kind of a tomboy, but even when wearing guy clothes I think I still look feminine. I've actually dated someone who was about an inch shorter than me. It didn't bother me, but I think sometimes it bothered him. I also don't find myself very attracted to those muscle-head types. I've either gone out with guys who were slightly bigger than the average, or skinny guys.


----------



## thestrangewarrior (May 5, 2010)

I'm a 5'8" 1/2 male, but I am indifferent to height. It's an average (maybe slightly short in some circles). I'm not intimidated by a woman if they are taller than me (and there are quite a few in this category). A woman can short or tall. It's the inside that counts. Yes, I do think it's shallow when people date someone just because they want someone taller or shorter than them.


----------

