# You know you're (insert variant here) when



## meridannight (Nov 23, 2012)

you have a pretty solid understanding of sx/sp @:




Phoenix_Rebirth said:


> *You know you are Sx/Sp variant when: *
> -Your energy is more reserved, self-contained and internal (specially compared to the expansive, wild Sx/So);


yes.



> -You hate typical So dominants : P (unless they are close to you);


i don't hate them but i don't mix with them at all. it's like two alien species thrown together. we don't understand each other at all.



> -You want deep, profound, kinda stable connection with others;


yup.



> -You are draw to dramatic, intense things (music, movies, books,...) and you are constantly looking for them, sometimes ignoring/not paying so much attention your Sp needs ('_Oh no: already 5:00 a.m.?? I should be in bed 2 hours ago!!_');


more like, oops, i spent my last 100 bucks on CDs and now i gotta go without food for a week. i pulled this a lot in my first years in college. somehow i'm still alive. ...and i have an enormous records collection



> -You're reserved in social groups, and you prefer to be alone than to be among them - social instinct is blind spot and so, you prefer to stand apart from others than to really belong;


very true.



> -You *burn in jealous* if your mate/special friend/whatever starts talking/hanging out with other person;


wrong. i have very little jealousy in me. my SO/etc has a right to make new friends and interact with whomever he wants. as long as my connection with him is unchanged i have no problems. problems start to arise when the connection i have with him is starting to diminish in intensity.



> -You want others to love you or hate you - but don't ignore me (Sx/So may also relate to that, but I think they are more open with it);


i want people to leave me alone. i don't care if they love me or hate me. but observationally speaking this is correct. mostly people either like me or don't like me at all.



> -You hate money but still you understand it's need - 'cause it's also what provides you glamour and lust;


nope, i don't hate money. i see saving it as pointless. money is only a means to an end. that's it. 



> -You reject/ignore/always discover late social trends;


i don't give a fuck about social trends. and people who care about such trivialities are stupid.



> -You are volatile, quicker to ignite, fiery and temperamental (the 9-s I know with this staking appear more 8-like);


.... no idea. i am reactive, intense and occasionally restless. in some aspects i can be volatile, i guess, but it's more to do with my interests and projects, things i pursue in life, than temper.



> -People around you may think you are Sp/Sx (since they have no access to your inner world ahah).


this is an amazing insight here. i haven't seen it anywhere else but your post here. it's completely accurate. to strangers, and people i don't interact with i look much more sp than sx, and they have no idea who i am. people who do know me, they would never put sp first in my case. an excellent realization.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

Phoenix_Rebirth said:


> *You know you are Sx/Sp variant when: *
> -Your energy is more reserved, self-contained and internal (specially compared to the expansive, wild Sx/So)


yes, though it's also more expansive and loud than a more modest Sp dom



> -You hate typical So dominants : P (unless they are close to you);


I have a negative visceral response to it, but I can realize the use of it on a logical level. part of me is repulsed, the other part is saying "how the hell are they doing that?" if I'm being honest with myself, on many levels, they are more intelligent than I am.



> -You want deep, profound, kinda stable connection with others;


yes



> -You are draw to dramatic, intense things (music, movies, books,...) and you are constantly looking for them, sometimes ignoring/not paying so much attention your Sp needs ('_Oh no: already 5:00 a.m.?? I should be in bed 2 hours ago!!_');


YES!!! 
I take care of my Sp needs a lot better than most Sx/Sp 7s, but that's largely a developed trait. I often find myself staying up hours past my bed time indulging in the most dramatic, blood & guts music I can find, as if my mind is saying "more! more! just a little longer..." and my Sp side finally kicks in and says "go the fuck to sleep" 



> -You're reserved in social groups, and you prefer to be alone than to be among them


depends. I'm actually a pretty friendly, gregarious guy when out and about, the difference between myself and someone with stronger So is _I have no idea what the hell is actually going on_. 



> - social instinct is blind spot and so, you prefer to stand apart from others than to really belong;


definitely



> -You *burn in jealous* if your mate/special friend/whatever starts talking/hanging out with other person;


in rare instances, yes



> -You want others to love you or hate you - but don't ignore me (Sx/So may also relate to that, but I think they are more open with it);


yes, though this is also related to Fi and Id



> -You hate money but still you understand it's need - 'cause it's also what provides you glamour and lust;


no, I fucking love money. I just find the things some people are willing to do for it perplexing. 



> -You reject/ignore/always discover late social trends;


I ignore the _social_ part of it and see a _trend_, the same way I would notice a trend if I were studying history or another subject. I actually notice a lot of trends, but whether or not I choose to partake in them has nothing to do with what everyone is doing. for example, I find most trends of dress to be absolutely disgusting, but I totally dug the recent vampire trend that lasted from ~2008-2012 



> -You are volatile, quicker to ignite, fiery and temperamental (the 9-s I know with this staking appear more 8-like);


it's a sort of _controlled volatility_. think of it like a can of body spray. the pressure is contained within the can, but, when I choose to press down the button and release pressure, it comes out in a concentrated stream. 
by contrast, Sx/So is more like an out of control wildfire with no "Sp levy" keeping it in check



> -People around you may think you are Sp/Sx (since they have no access to your inner world ahah).


yes! I've noticed that Sp second types tend to put out an Sp image that they advertise in service of their primary instinct
So/Sp: "look at my skills and resources! think of all the contributions I could make if you do business with me and/or promote me!"
Sx/Sp: "I'm sexy because I'm responsible, hardworking, competent and have plenty of resources at my disposal"


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## meridannight (Nov 23, 2012)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> yes! I've noticed that Sp second types tend to put out an Sp image that they advertise in service of their primary instinct
> 
> Sx/Sp: "I'm sexy because I'm responsible, hardworking, competent and have plenty of resources at my disposal"



completely wrong. i don't care about how i'm seen. and i certainly don't advertise myself. and if i want to advertise myself i'll dress up nice and drive a Lamborghini. that will drive the point home without me having to open up my mouth, or act a certain way. 

i can take the responsibility, but i don't brag about it. i'm not hardworking and wouldn't want to be seen as such. i don't have any desire to amp up my sp image for the outside world.

responsibility, hardworking thing, and competency aren't what i would ever associate with word sexy. what BS.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

meridannight said:


> completely wrong. i don't care about how i'm seen.


you don't care how you're seen _socially_ (which could be related to a number of things including Fe, Social Instinct, image triad, harmonic triad etc) but do you care if you are perceived as sexually desirable?



> and i certainly don't advertise myself.


advertising is a central theme of the Sexual instinct

from this thread:
http://personalitycafe.com/enneagra...thread-instinctual-variants-stackings-11.html


> *Sexual Instinct**
> "Attraction/Repulsion." NOT bonding.*
> 
> Manifest in 3 Zones, and distortions:
> ...





> and if i want to advertise myself i'll dress up nice and drive a Lamborghini. that will drive the point home without me having to open up my mouth.


^exactly! this is the kind of advertising I was referring to =)



> i can take the responsibility, but i don't brag about it. i'm not hardworking and wouldn't want to be seen as such. i don't have any desire to amp up my sp image for the outside world.


bragging and advertising aren't synonymous. it's not like I'm suggesting Sx/Sps go around around shamelessly beating their chest like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast



> responsibility, hardworking thing, and competency aren't what i would ever associate with word sexy.


whether you consider them sexy or not, they are typically things people look for in a partner.


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

meridannight said:


> that will drive the point home without me having to open up my mouth


Well hey, advertising works better with "show don't tell" anyway.


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## meridannight (Nov 23, 2012)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> *you don't care how you're seen socially* (which could be related to a number of things including Fe, Social Instinct, image triad, harmonic triad etc) but do you care if you are perceived as sexually desirable?


bolded is true. but is there a way to advertise oneself not socially? lols. advertising implies how its subject matter is seen by other people. i couldn't care less how people see me. ergo, i don't think i advertise myself. 

the Lamborghini example is something i do pull. but it's not to make myself seen as competent, resourceful, or anything else sp-related. for one, i really do love the car. and for two, it pertains to my individual taste. i do like to show off my taste, or style. but that's all there is to it. i don't do it for purposes that you described.

of course i care if i'm perceived as sexually attractive. show me a person that doesn't care though. it's not type- or instinct-related.




> advertising is a central theme of the Sexual instinct
> 
> 
> from this thread:


show off, demonstrations, yes. that's there. but advertising sp qualities, that's not there. and it's not there in the text you quoted either. i'm not arguing against sx ''advertising''. i'm arguing against sx advertising sp qualities. i have never experienced it first hand, and other sx/sp people that i know don't do it either.

sx-s project their energy and drive, forcefulness and charge. they don't go about projecting responsibility, their hardworking side if there is one, and related. sp people do that.





> whether you consider them sexy or not, they are typically things people look for in a partner.


sexual attraction doesn't ask the size of the person's wallet, their competency or whether they're responsible or not. the brain and the pragmatic needs ask for that. sx people will take the person they're sexually attracted to over the person who is more competent, who has a bigger income, and is more responsible/stable. sx takes the person they NEED, the person that drives their physiology wild, in place of the person that is more stable and secure (sp). 

this is how is think your understanding is askew.


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

meridannight said:


> sexual attraction doesn't ask the size of the person's wallet, their competency or whether they're responsible or not. the brain and the pragmatic needs ask for that.


I think there are people who are sexually attracted to, for example, competency.


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## meridannight (Nov 23, 2012)

Nonsense said:


> I think there are people who are sexually attracted to, for example, competency.


seriously? i find it extremely hard to agree. sexual attraction is a purely physical thing. it's an instinct beyond one's control. you can't be sexually attracted to a personality trait. you are sexually attracted to a physical person. and unless you're always attracted to people of one and the same personality trait (i'm not) this argument doesn't go a long way.


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## Bluity (Nov 12, 2012)

meridannight said:


> of course i care if i'm perceived as sexually attractive. show me a person that doesn't care though.












Call me the ugliest person in the world. Unless I'm actually sleeping with you, I couldn't care less how sexually attractive you find me.



meridannight said:


> seriously? i find it extremely hard to agree. sexual attraction is a purely physical thing. it's an instinct beyond one's control. you can't be sexually attracted to a personality trait. you are sexually attracted to a physical person. and unless you're always attracted to people of one and the same personality trait (i'm not) this argument doesn't go a long way.


This is a gross simplification of human sexuality. Sapiosexuals are attracted to intelligence. Demisexuals are only attracted to others after they've established strong emotional ties. As for me, an average guy can become attractive if he has a good sense of humor, is creative with wordplay, knows several languages, or as a slew of other traits not related to physique. Playboy models do nothing for me. He has to demonstrate he's good at mental foreplay before I even think about jumping his bones.


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

Bluity said:


> As for me, an average guy can become attractive if he has a good sense of humor, is creative with wordplay, knows several languages, or as a slew of other traits not related to physique. Playboy models do nothing for me. He has to demonstrate he's good at mental foreplay before I even think about jumping his bones.


Good, more for me then! 




You know you're probably an sp-dom if you do a military-grade lock up of the house each night before you sleep.


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

Bluity said:


> This is a gross simplification of human sexuality. Sapiosexuals are attracted to intelligence. Demisexuals are only attracted to others after they've established strong emotional ties. As for me, an average guy can become attractive if he has a good sense of humor, is creative with wordplay, knows several languages, or as a slew of other traits not related to physique. Playboy models do nothing for me. He has to demonstrate he's good at mental foreplay before I even think about jumping his bones.


Personally, I can feel attraction towards a guy based on the physical, but personality has a good impact as well. And I'm not saying I control this, @meridannight. I can see a guy who is quick learner, for example, and on an instinctual level consider how this can also be useful in the bedroom. I won't necessarily think about it consciously, but chances are it will have an effect on my attraction towards him.

(Heh, I have no examples on topic.^^


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## meridannight (Nov 23, 2012)

@Bluity and others:

i understand that a person's character can be attractive. i've experienced it myself too. my point was something different. namely, if one finds a personality trait _sexually_ attractive then that means every person who has such trait much be sexually attractive to them, regardless of anything else. is that so?

do you get hard when you think of competency (in our example, insert whatever personality trait you claim is sexually attractive)? do you masturbate to it? i think not. it's ridiculous.

personality, character, it all becomes attractive in the person you're sexually attracted to. it all adds and enhances that attraction. but it is not what gets your penis hard (in male example). it's not the thing that makes you attracted to the person in the first place. yes, human sexuality is that simple.


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## Mizmar (Aug 12, 2009)

meridannight said:


> my point was something different. namely, if one finds a personality trait _sexually_ attractive then that means every person who has such trait much be sexually attractive to them, regardless of anything else.


Is that how it works with physical characteristics too? If, for example, a person finds blue eyes sexually attractive, they have to find every blue-eyed person attractive regardless of anything else?


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## Bluity (Nov 12, 2012)

meridannight said:


> @_Bluity_ and others:
> 
> i understand that a person's character can be attractive. i've experienced it myself too. my point was something different. namely, if one finds a personality trait _sexually_ attractive then that means every person who has such trait much be sexually attractive to them, regardless of anything else. is that so?


Not at all. Where did you even get that conclusion? One trait does not mean anyone and everyone who has that trait is attractive, regardless of whether it's mental or physical. I like green eyes and red hair. Do I get aroused at every man who's a ginger? No. I like guys with accents. Do I get hot and bothered at any guy who hails from Britian? No. 



> do you get hard when you think of competency (in our example, insert whatever personality trait you claim is sexually attractive)? do you masturbate to it? i think not. it's ridiculous.


I don't get hard at any guy with pretty eyes and a nice face either. It's a package deal, and physical appearance is one factor out of many.



> personality, character, it all becomes attractive in the person you're sexually attracted to. it all adds and enhances that attraction. but it is not what gets your penis hard (in male example). it's not the thing that makes you attracted to the person in the first place.


Actually it is. I'm telling you, from experience, that personality and character c_an be the very things that you're attracted to._ Average people can be elevated to hot status with the right combination of traits. To say that what attracts me is purely physical would be flat out wrong.



> yes, human sexuality is that simple.


For you, yes. For others, it is much nuanced. It would be a disservice to suggest that seven billion humans share the same one-dimensional approach to sexuality. Unless you're suggesting that demisexuals, sapisexuals and asexuals just do not exist.


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## meridannight (Nov 23, 2012)

Bluity said:


> Not at all. Where did you even get that conclusion? *One trait does not mean anyone and everyone who has that trait is attractive, regardless of whether it's mental or physical. I like green eyes and red hair. Do I get aroused at every man who's a ginger? No. I like guys with accents. Do I get hot and bothered at any guy who hails from Britian? No. *
> 
> I don't get hard at any guy with pretty eyes and a nice face either. It's a package deal, and physical appearance is one factor out of many.


this was exactly my point. if you don't get sexually aroused to those characteristics *alone*, out of context of the person they come with, then they are not sexually attractive. they can be attractive on their own, yes. they can add to the whole ''package deal'', but they do not get your cock hard.




> Actually it is. I'm telling you, from experience, that personality and character c_an be the very things that you're attracted to._ Average people can be elevated to hot status with the right combination of traits. To say that what attracts me is purely physical would be flat out wrong.


of course personality and character can be the things you're attracted to. but they're not what a person is sexually attracted to. there is a clear difference between the two.



> For you, yes. For others, it is much nuanced. It would be a disservice to suggest that seven billion humans share the same one-dimensional approach to sexuality. Unless you're suggesting that demisexuals, sapisexuals and asexuals just do not exist.


i think the whole ''sapisexual'' (this isn't even a real word) thing is utter bullshit. it's just another way for some people to single themselves out from the crowd, in lack of coming up with something better. i'm sorry, but this is just plain ridiculous already.


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## Mizmar (Aug 12, 2009)

Bluity said:


> I don't get hard at any guy with pretty eyes and a nice face either. It's a package deal, and physical appearance is one factor out of many.


It's definitely a package deal for me too. Picturing some anonymous pair of breasts on their own doesn't do anything for me, though taken as part of a whole I can find breasts quite arousing. I can't think of any trait (physical or otherwise) that I find attractive outside the context of a person in their entirety.


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## meridannight (Nov 23, 2012)

Mizmar said:


> I can't think of any trait (physical or otherwise) that I find attractive outside the context of a person in their entirety.


what do you masturbate to then? only specific people that you know and have experienced sexual attraction to? thinking about some anonymous/nonexistent girl's body doesn't do anything to you?


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

meridannight said:


> what do you masturbate to then? only specific people that you know and have experienced sexual attraction to? thinking about some anonymous/nonexistent girl's body doesn't do anything to you?


Although you didn't ask me, I like to think up scenarios and make up people with features and traits that appeal to me and imagine them doing stuff together. =)


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## Mizmar (Aug 12, 2009)

meridannight said:


> what do you masturbate to then? only specific people that you know and have experienced sexual attraction to?


Yes, though it doesn't have to be someone I know personally (it could be a celebrity, for instance).



> thinking about some anonymous/nonexistent girl's body doesn't do anything to you?


Not if it's _just_ a body; I need a face to go along with it. The face, and especially the eyes, are the most important part. In contrast, some friends of mine have said all they need to do is look at a pair of boobs and that's all it takes. I'm not sure if they were being entirely serious but, in any case, it certainly doesn't work that way for me.


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

Oh, I forgot to mention, focusing on just the physical aspect of it wouldn't be much of a turn-on for me. It would just lack intensity then. 

Okay, I'm sorry for not saying anything on topic. Lets see...

You know you are _probably not _SX-last if you're willingly open about your sexual fantasies to random people.


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## meridannight (Nov 23, 2012)

Mizmar said:


> Yes, though it doesn't have to be someone I know personally (it could be a celebrity, for instance).
> 
> Not if it's _just_ a body; I need a face to go along with it. The face, and especially the eyes, are the most important part. In contrast, some friends of mine have said all they need to do is look at a pair of boobs and that's all it takes. I'm not sure if they were being entirely serious but, in any case, it certainly doesn't work that way for me.


yeah, it's not like this for me. i think of someone specific only when i am currently attracted to someone, but mostly it's anonymous nonexistent people performing explicit sexual acts. face, eyes, etc don't factor into it at all. it's purely sexual in nature. and yeah, just thinking of cocks and ass and fucking alone gets me off. i don't need the subjects of my fantasies to have any personality at all or eyes or faces. lols.


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## Sonny (Oct 14, 2008)

You know you're So dom when you get sick to death of people assigning an image of a social-network building activist as the stereotypical image of So doms on on-line forums, cause it's just _wrong_.


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## rajAs (Sep 14, 2012)

You know you are Sp dom when your day is ruined if you don't sleep/eat well.

As Sp/So, you feel people being too enthusiastic: you can be passionate being calm too, can't you? Sx is a mystery: how the heck people may have so many (and deep) interests? Ok, that's probably something 9ish.

You know you are Sp/So when you love to stay alone, but sooner or later you'll need to share your time and experience with other people to avoid to get bored.

You know you are Sp dom when what you eat is more important than who you eat with.

You know you are Sp dom when working (not necessarily a job) saves the day.

You know you are Sp dom when what interest you often is mouth-watering (physically).

Did I mention how much I love good food?


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## Sonny (Oct 14, 2008)

rajAs said:


> Sx is a mystery: how the heck people may have so many (and deep) interests? Ok, that's probably something 9ish.


Wait, there are people who don't? :shocked:

How many is "so many"?


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## rajAs (Sep 14, 2012)

Sonny said:


> How many is "so many"?


Umh.... three?


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## Bluity (Nov 12, 2012)

rajAs said:


> You know you are Sp dom when your day is ruined if you don't sleep/eat well.
> 
> As Sp/So, you feel people being too enthusiastic: you can be passionate being calm too, can't you? Sx is a mystery: how the heck people may have so many (and deep) interests? Ok, that's probably something 9ish.
> 
> ...


You know you're an SP dom when the only way to lure you into a social gathering is with food:

Relative: You want to come over my house?

Me: :dry:

Relative: I have movies and games, and your uncle and cousins will be there.

Me: :dry:

Relative: I'll make your favorite meal...

Me: 

Relative: And I have your favorite blanket and pillow. The big soft one shaped like a dolphin.

Me: :blushed:

Relative: And you can just stay in my room because that's what you're going to do anyway? I'll lend you my laptop.

Me: :kitteh: Kay, I'll go


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## Chesire Tower (Jan 19, 2013)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> you know you're Sp/Sx when
> - you desire those rare, intimate moments when the stars align just like an Sx dom, but the setting has to be right and you do not believe "it doesn't matter where you are as long as you're with you friends". you wish for the setting to enhance the mood and distractions such as discomfort, pain, cold or poor quality food can be a major distraction when you are trying to lose yourself in the moment. once everyone is comfortable, safe, warm and taken care of, THEN you can really lose yourself and allow the magic of the experience to affect you


Lol, I can so relate to this. :laughing:


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## Sonny (Oct 14, 2008)

rajAs said:


> Umh.... three?


Lol.

I freely confess I do not speak fluent Sp XD


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## Echoe (Apr 23, 2012)

You might be an Sp-dom if...


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## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

rajAs said:


> You know you are Sp dom when your day is ruined if you don't sleep/eat well.
> 
> As Sp/So, you feel people being too enthusiastic: you can be passionate being calm too, can't you? Sx is a mystery: how the heck people may have so many (and deep) interests? Ok, that's probably something 9ish.
> 
> ...





Bluity said:


> You know you're an SP dom when the only way to lure you into a social gathering is with food:
> 
> Relative: You want to come over my house?
> 
> ...





Echoe said:


> You might be an Sp-dom if...



So much emphasis on food!! I can *really *relate, but I wonder if you guys can elaborate more about this? Other SP doms can totally answer as well but how is this an SP thing? Can other people be total foodies and be SP last?


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## Bluity (Nov 12, 2012)

kaleidoscope said:


> So much emphasis on food!! I can *really *relate, but I wonder if you guys can elaborate more about this? Other SP doms can totally answer as well but how is this an SP thing? Can other people be total foodies and be SP last?


Of course! Though food is stereotypically an SP thing, I don't see why other stackings can't be foodies. I myself am not a foodie. I can barely cook and my palette isn't particularly sophisticated. 

Food is just a symbol for comfort. You can easily replace it with temperature, clothes, or whatever a particular SP Dom is focused on. I'm much more sensitive to light and sound; I can't stand hearing the TV or having the radio on when I need silence. When I turn off the radio my body gives a sigh of relief. That might be the difference between SP Doms and other stackings. I imagine SXs might turn to food for the intensity of flavors, to immerse themselves in the senses. I do it for comfort. Food doesn't excite me, it soothes me. It helps me relax. Though this might have more to do with me being a fear-driven head type than an SP.

SPs are associated with the body and physical comforts, so it makes sense that food is thought of as the SP domain. But we all have bodies, so I see no reason why SO- or SX-doms couldn't be foodies. The only difference is how and why they approach it.


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## Echoe (Apr 23, 2012)

kaleidoscope said:


> So much emphasis on food!! I can *really *relate, but I wonder if you guys can elaborate more about this? Other SP doms can totally answer as well but how is this an SP thing? Can other people be total foodies and be SP last?




Sure :happy:. 


I'm not really a foodie personally, I mostly just eat to live. I don't really get addictions or cravings to things, and if something of mine is wasted or taken by someone else I'm mostly disappointed about the monetary "waste" than anything else. 
To expand a little bit from Bluity's above post... Yeah, I too pictured that Sx's would mostly be into food for the enjoyment of the tastes. I think I'm an Sx-secondary, yet, again, I tend to not get too much thrill out of tastes it seems, for whatever reason. Eating, food prep, and keeping my taste buds happy can feel like chores. I mostly just feel motivated to eat for nutritional benefit and for survival, lol.


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## meridannight (Nov 23, 2012)

Echoe said:


> I'm not really a foodie personally, I mostly just eat to live.
> 
> I tend to not get too much thrill out of tastes it seems, for whatever reason.


i don't understand this at all. how can you not love the taste of some things? how can you not get an enjoyment out of taste? if i had to eat for life sustaining purposes alone i'd probably starve to death because that is rarely the reason i ever eat anything. 



> Eating, food prep, and keeping my taste buds happy can feel like chores. I mostly just feel motivated to eat for nutritional benefit and for survival, lol.


i strongly dislike food prep too, and i don't cook. that's why there exist other people/establishments who do it for you.


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## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

@meridannight

Totally with you on that. Are you Sx/Sp? What's your relationship with food?

I'm a total foodie but I cannot relate at ALL to the "I eat to live" mentality. Taste is so very important to me, and I can be extremely picky. The food I eat *has *to be delicious.


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## meridannight (Nov 23, 2012)

rajAs said:


> Sx is a mystery: how the heck people may have so many (and deep) interests? Ok, that's probably something 9ish.


i have a LOT of interests and i'm interested in all of them to pretty much the same degree. a couple of individuals have confused me for a 7 for this reason, thinking i'm too scattered and moving from one thing to another without settling on any single interest. however, these interests have all been constant ever since high school graduation when they sort of solidified for me, and there's nothing superficial about them. i'm involved with all of them and keep up to date on all of them. i don't understand how some people don't have deep interests. life is so fascinating. i'll probably never be able to fully get to the depths of everything that fascinates me.


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## meridannight (Nov 23, 2012)

kaleidoscope said:


> @meridannight
> 
> Totally with you on that. Are you Sx/Sp? What's your relationship with food?
> 
> I'm a total foodie but I cannot relate at ALL to the "I eat to live" mentality. Taste is so very important to me, and I can be extremely picky. The food I eat *has *to be delicious.


yeah, i'm sx/sp. i love food. but i tend to have a number of certain consistent flavors that i absolutely love and regularly consume. e.g. where i live there's this place that makes cakes of natural whipped cream. i always buy those things whenever i'm there. and i love liquorice, condensed milk, coconut, white chocolate, meat, parmesan cheese, avocados, olives, bell pepper......there are these consistent tastes that never get exhausted for me. i could eat those things forever, and probably will keep consuming them till i die. likewise there are a few things i don't eat at all, because the taste is completely disagreeable to me.

i don't understand the eat to live thing either. the only reason i eat is because i want to experience certain tastes. it never gets to the point where i feel i have to eat just to sustain myself (sure, i've gone without food to the point of hunger a few times in my life so i know what that feels like. but it takes a couple of days for me to get there, so unless i'm removed from alimentary sources that's unlikely to happen). it's always because i want that taste.


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

meridannight said:


> i don't understand this at all. how can you not love the taste of some things? how can you not get an enjoyment out of taste? if i had to eat for life sustaining purposes alone i'd probably starve to death because that is rarely the reason i ever eat anything.


I can eat something I don't like if I'm hungry enough, but it does make me sad. :tongue:


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## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

meridannight said:


> yeah, i'm sx/sp. i love food. but i tend to have a number of certain consistent flavors that i absolutely love and regularly consume. e.g. where i live there's this place that makes cakes of natural whipped cream. i always buy those things whenever i'm there. and i love liquorice, condensed milk, coconut, white chocolate, meat, parmesan cheese, avocados, olives, bell pepper......there are these consistent tastes that never get exhausted for me. i could eat those things forever, and probably will keep consuming them till i die. likewise there are a few things i don't eat at all, because the taste is completely disagreeable to me.
> 
> i don't understand the eat to live thing either. the only reason i eat is because i want to experience certain tastes. it never gets to the point where i feel i have to eat just to sustain myself (sure, i've gone without food to the point of hunger a few times in my life so i know what that feels like. but it takes a couple of days for me to get there, so unless i'm removed from alimentary sources that's unlikely to happen). it's always because i want that taste.


*THIS!* Every word of this. I go to certain places for specific kinds of food that I adore, hahaha and I never EVER get tired of it. I can be literally ecstatic just indulging myself in that sense, like literally have an amazing day because I'm having this super fancy dinner. 

Also, avocado is *ORGASMIC* (and parmesan.. *mouth waters*).


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## Bluity (Nov 12, 2012)

kaleidoscope said:


> @_meridannight_
> 
> Totally with you on that. Are you Sx/Sp? What's your relationship with food?
> 
> I'm a total foodie but I cannot relate at ALL to the "I eat to live" mentality. Taste is so very important to me, and I can be extremely picky. The food I eat *has *to be delicious.


I think eat to live is the healthiest approach to food. Too many people live to eat and just gorge themselves on crap that tastes good. At the same time, taste is important to me, but my tastes are pretty simple. Less is more. One of the things that turns me off of cooking is how many recipes include six or seven different spices. Salt and pepper is pretty much all I need. I drink only water and tea, and I could live off of rice cakes.

I enjoy food prepping though. In fact, that part is the most fun. I get more joy out of experimenting with recipes than with the actual eating.


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## Echoe (Apr 23, 2012)

meridannight said:


> i don't understand this at all. how can you not love the taste of some things? how can you not get an enjoyment out of taste? if i had to eat for life sustaining purposes alone i'd probably starve to death because that is rarely the reason i ever eat anything.


Hmm... I mean, I do get enjoyment out of the flavors of what I even eat regularly, and I will have new things regularly that I can love or like a lot, but of course after a few rounds you tire of it quickly. Or maybe some of it's me; I don't really understand people who seem to find "addictions" or cravings for some items, comfort eaters, or those who seem to get considerable delight out of bunches of flavors. I never really crave anything much, not even things I liked a lot and haven't had in awhile. I've seen that I'm fully capable of enjoying flavors, yet I don't feel like the experience is as big a thing with me as it is for some other people.




> i strongly dislike food prep too, and i don't cook. that's why there exist other people/establishments who do it for you.



Lolz. I basically cook or prepare everything I eat to save money and because I imagine my stuff's probably healthier than what I'd find in many restaurants, but if I were less cheap I'd probably work around the latter and eat out more. (Sometimes I miss the days where someone else would cook for me, and I wasn't as bothered against eating packaged foods that take no prep/cooking work :tongue:.)


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## meridannight (Nov 23, 2012)

kaleidoscope said:


> *THIS!* Every word of this. I go to certain places for specific kinds of food that I adore, hahaha and I never EVER get tired of it. I can be literally ecstatic just indulging myself in that sense, like literally have an amazing day because I'm having this super fancy dinner.


yeah, but this comes so naturally to me that i think every person has something like this going on. these specific foods they love and always crave...it's really weird to think not having something like this. i've been like this ever since i was a kid. i had these certain cakes that i always asked my mom to get for me when she went to the store. and i remember all my favorites of my mom's cooking. she used to make a certain sauce that i loved. making basic dinner was sometimes an occasion in our house when i was growing up. i loved certain specific foods and my mom liked to indulge me, so she would ask what i wanted for dinner and made that if she had that stuff. so we were both happy.





Bluity said:


> Salt and pepper is pretty much all I need. I drink only water and tea, and I could live off of rice cakes.


i'd probably go insane if i had to live like that. 

in fact, i've experienced conditions you specify a few times in my life (i was in college, put all my money under CDs, books, technology and clothes, so i had none left to buy food with, lols) and sometimes there were a number of days in a row i went without food. i was losing my mental focus together with the physical energy that accompanied reduced food intake. funny thing is, the mental focus went first and really soon, and then later on i finally experienced reduced physical energy. if i go without intake of tasty foods for a day or so i start getting restless and i have trouble concentrating on anything else other than that food that i want. however, it isn't till a few days that i start experiencing reduction in actual physical energy itself.


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## meridannight (Nov 23, 2012)

Echoe said:


> but of course after a few rounds you tire of it quickly.


yeah, this is different. i don't tire of taste until i'm full. then i take a break and can pick up right where i left off later on. so i can say that it isn't the actual taste that exhausts itself for me. it's the physical fullness that puts a stop to my consumption, but once that has abated i can go back to that same thing and enjoy it to the fullest just the same as before.


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## Bluity (Nov 12, 2012)

meridannight said:


> i'd probably go insane if i had to live like that.
> in fact, i've experienced conditions you specify a few times in my life (i was in college, put all my money under CDs, books, technology and clothes, so i had none left to buy food with, lols) and sometimes there were a number of days in a row i went without food. i was losing my mental focus together with the physical energy that accompanied reduced food intake. funny thing is, the mental focus went first and really soon, and then later on i finally experienced reduced physical energy. if i go without intake of tasty foods for a day or so i start getting restless and i have trouble concentrating on anything else other than that food that i want. however, it isn't till a few days that i start experiencing reduction in actual physical energy itself.


I don't eat foods unless they're tasty. I happen to find rice cakes tasty. Brussel sprouts and asparagus with pepper is tasty. Complex dishes with 12 different spices are not tasty. When I order a sandwich, I only ask for maybe two ingredients. Meanwhile the guy in front of me is getting lettuce, tomatoes, olives, peppers, ketchup, mustard, vinegar...And I'm thinking "Can you even taste all of that?" My mouth doesn't appreciate being bombarded with too many flavors.

I don't have addictions, but I do have cravings. It's like my stomach has a lazanga-shaped hole that only that food can fill. But once I get some, I'm done. The craving is filled. Some people can't get enough of their cravings, like chocolate. They eat some but still want more. I may want some once in a blue moon, and once I get some I'm pretty much satisfied for the next couple of months. I can't think of any food that makes me think "God, I'm just dying for some ___!" Besides, I know my cravings well enough that I can substitute them for something of a familiar texture. Tofu satisfies my cheese needs pretty well.


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

All this talk of food... :/ *valiantly tries to resist getting more to eat*

I tend to crave lots of food, though I've gotten better at resisting really unhealthy stuff. I'm still guilty of emotional eating, though.


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## Sonny (Oct 14, 2008)

kaleidoscope said:


> *THIS!* Every word of this. I go to certain places for specific kinds of food that I adore, hahaha and I never EVER get tired of it. I can be literally ecstatic just indulging myself in that sense, like literally have an amazing day because I'm having this super fancy dinner.
> 
> Also, avocado is *ORGASMIC* (and parmesan.. *mouth waters*).


In a nutshell:

Sp: comfort, nuturition
Sx: Indulgance, intense and unusual tastes/asthetics
So: Mixing with others over food

Anyone can be a foodie, it's the reasons that can be interesting.


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## Echoe (Apr 23, 2012)

You might also be an Sp-dom if you don't really like guests often coming to your home as it makes the "my" in "my space" feel a bit diminished (?)
Personally, ever since I was a kid I've often not even wanted my own friends over too much...


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## meridannight (Nov 23, 2012)

Bluity said:


> Complex dishes with 12 different spices are not tasty. When I order a sandwich, I only ask for maybe two ingredients. Meanwhile the guy in front of me is getting lettuce, tomatoes, olives, peppers, ketchup, mustard, vinegar...And I'm thinking "Can you even taste all of that?" My mouth doesn't appreciate being bombarded with too many flavors.



interesting. because for me, 2-3 tastes in a sandwich, for example, is tasteless. in fact, i have to make my own sandwiches because the stuff they offer on the market is too bland for me, it doesn't taste like anything. and now that i count them, there are 7 different flavors that i put into my sandwiches....lols. it seems like a lot now that i'm aware of the number, but that constitutes a tasty sandwich for me. and i have the same thing with pasta. i put a lot of flavors into it to get it right. and yes, i have been 'accused' of over-spicing the food by some people. the thing that tastes normal for me has been too rich for some others.

at the same time i'm also able to enjoy simple tastes, of just 1 flavor.


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## rajAs (Sep 14, 2012)

Echoe said:


> You might also be an Sp-dom if you don't really like guests often coming to your home as it makes the "my" in "my space" feel a bit diminished (?)
> Personally, ever since I was a kid I've often not even wanted my own friends over too much...


Agreed. I love to spend time with my friends (So 2nd) but I feel invaded when they come to my home (Sp first).


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

you know you're Sx/Sp when:
you wear an Sp mask of restraint/professionalism because your real self is a complete fucking freak and many/most of your desired activities and topics of conversation would get you kicked out of various facilities, fired or even arrested. in short, most people can't handle you and, deep down, you know it, so you seek out those few precious friends who will accept the authentic fire that burns within you. until you find such a friend or lover, this fire burns away at your insides, tormenting you as you lay behind your Sp mask in quiet desperation, hoping it doesn't slip or crack. 

you know you're Sx/So when:
you relate to the above, only you _don't_ wear an Sp mask of restraint and your fiery, outlandish colors shine transparently through your personality. you have no mask to hide behind and your freak, undomesticated animal nature is there for all to see, so you are forced to position yourself in circles where your wild personality is accepted and your natural talents can flourish. the few times you do show restraint, it feels incredibly unnatural and uncomfortable to you and believe in living every day to the fullest. the YOLO fad going around was probably started by an Sx/So

PS: obviously, not every Sx/Sp or Sx/So is going to relate to these. the Sx/Sp point was a bit biased toward 3w4 and the Sx/So point a bit biased toward a 4w3 fixed 7w8.


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## brianbsmiley (Jun 29, 2013)

You know you are sx/so when your intense high energy freaks your friends out and they give you "the look"...all you sx/so's out there know what I am talking about :tongue: And yet when "the look" is given, you worry that you may be too odd for this group of friends and fear that you will be rejected. Lol.


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## Eugenia Shepherd (Nov 10, 2017)

You know you're Sp/Sx when...
-You shortchange or "pass" on outings with friends, to either work (additional pay) or recharge.
-You frequently require recharge periods that include resting, washing, eating, etc. in an environment that meets certain standards.
Tangentially you adore comforting settings: pleasant room temperature, lighting, visuals, fragrances, individuals, etc.
-You prefer one-on-one conversations in an intimate setting (partners or friends) to group meetings.
-You feel a little disoriented or out-of-place when a _-group-_ of friends meets you unexpectedly. (!)
Example: a few friends would band together and chance upon me at my workplace (on their own affairs).
Every time, it would take at least a minute to snap out of my "business" mindset/personality to even register what was going on.
-You _are _"home-sweet-home" 24/7--you trust your own fortress/universe of consciousness, mentality, action, & habit.
You might even say this sanctuary has a certain personal brand or distinctiveness to it.
-You rarely reach out for any support, advice, or assistance at all (emotional, physical, etc.) unless it's absolutely necessary.
-You cannot be "swept off your feet" in love; you must gradually feel at ease/safe/relaxed before letting go.


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