# Why boobs matter so much?



## letter_to_dana (Jun 4, 2013)

Ummm ok. I have a pretty dumb question for you guys... and yes i mean GUYS.
So one of my ex boyfriends was sooo into big boobs. But like HUGE! And i'm really far away from that. I'm also very skinny. At the beginning of our relationship he told me he didn't care about big boobs or big asses. BUT after a while he kept telling me how he thinks I should do something about my boobs (as a joke) and I discovered on his browser history lots of porn links with milf womens... I was hurt. I asked him why he lied to me and he told me that his fantasies don't have anything to do with me.
Even now I really don't think that's true.
So... my question is this: If you like big boobs and your girlfriend doesn't have them what do you do? And also, do you really think fantasies don't affect your relationship (in case you can't turn them into reality)? I'm a bit confused and curious about other oppinions.


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## DemonD (Jun 12, 2012)

The amount of importance a man places in boobs is often inversely proportional to his intelligence.


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## StElmosDream (May 26, 2012)

DemonD said:


> The amount of importance a man places in boobs is often inversely proportional to his intelligence.


How so?... I would be inclined to ask if maturity and the ability to define relationship bonding over pure physical emotional needs alone matter most on the subjective level?


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## Imverypunny (Jul 2, 2013)

It's not personal. He just needs to get his rocks off with his fantasy porn. Seriously its just how guys are wired. Your worth way more to him outside just psychical attraction.


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## qingdom (Apr 5, 2011)

fluffy pillows... you ask why? do you like fluffy pillows? or do you like hard pillows?

I only speak for myself when I say fluffy soft pillows.


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## nrcoggin (Mar 18, 2012)

I'm not personally a fan of large boobs. I would never waste my time with someone if I had an issue with them that got in the way of our relationship. A relationship should make both people involved feel better about themselves, not tear them down. As far as the pornography goes I can understand why people would get upset so I don't mean to diminish the way you feel at all, but I think that many men are capable of separating porn and fantasies from their relationships. I think as with all things this probably depends on the individuals.


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## CaptSwan (Mar 31, 2013)

It's all a matter of taste; but not it's not a vital factor to account for. Some men are only attracted to big boobs; but, at least in my case, I don't like them that much. I prefer to choose a mate on factors more worthy than the size of her "front".


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

Considering people have multiple sexual fantasies involving different scenarios which can be highly unrealistic, I wouldn't worry about it. I mean, you've probably fantasized having sex with one of your teachers at least. But most people can understand that the relationship is unrealistic and that it comes with a lot of hairy problems that they would rather avoid.

I haven't really been in a relationship with a small-busted woman, so I can't give you that experience. But I can tell you that it's normal to fantasize and as long as it doesn't bleed into the relationship, it's not a big issue. For instance, my GF has a thing for men of a different ethnicity than I am, but at the same time, she also finds me attractive as hell. She was the one who picked me, mind you. And in many relationships, people slowly accommodate their preferences to the physical features of their partners. However, I would definitely have a bit of an issue with the boob comments since they are recurring and it seems like he was the one that initiated them. It's not a partner's job to make you feel insecure about your body. I probably would have dumped him, too, if he wouldn't stop.

And people tend to have fantasies that are mutually exclusive, too. For example, I'm physically attracted to barrel-chested hairy men and women with large breasts. It doesn't mean I would want a partner with large breasts to start acquiring a burly, muscled figure to impress me.

And as much as people probably won't believe me when I say although I happen to have a preference for large breasts, and a girlfriend with large breasts, that's not the reason I dated her. I like her for her outspokenness and her strong personality, but while also having a simultaneous ability to be understanding to others. (Plus she has a cute butt.) I'd be behind her 100% in the case that she chose to get a reduction.

And there are many things a small-titted woman like you has over women with large breasts:


You can walk naked around any house or apartment without getting back pain.
You can actually protest topless or naked.
They are much less likely to sag.
Nobody pries at your small boobs and asks if they're natural.
You can find bras that fit in your local department store.
You can wear pretty blouses without having to unbutton them and show an ungodly amount of cleavage.
Most guys carry on an actual conversation with you without staring at them.
You can wear shirts with patterns or printing and not have them stretch out.
Smaller breasts are generally more sensitive and you can get more from nipple stimulation.
You can buy sexy lingerie at an affordable price.
You don't get labeled as a slut or a whore for simply having big boobs.
There's also the advantage of a partner being able to cup your entire boob in their hand. That's sexy no matter how you look at it.
Girls with big boobs are often jealous of you for exactly those reasons. Seriously, D-Cup Distress is a real thing.


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## letter_to_dana (Jun 4, 2013)

@CaptSwan True its about tastes. But once you're starting a relationship with a woman you should start accepting her as she is, right?
Or don't fuckin' start the relationship.

Thank you all for your answers and @_Torai_ haha you actually made me smile by saying those things...


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## Abdurrahman Kh (Jun 19, 2013)

from my talking to friends , and guys talk about boobs so much:tongue: , Its a personal matter, most of guys like boobs so much, and prefer them to be bigger than average, most guys_I know_ don't like or even hate "huge", some even dont like them at all !!(thats rare)

for me there is a minimum size, but I really dont care that much about boobs (yes they are incredible but there is more to life than boobs) ... Its like caring too much about food, Im not saying I dont want(madly) to eat a steak right now... but there is more important stuff right now ...

we _guys_ say how much boobs are important, or "its the most important things in girls", or how girls with small boobs don't worth even looking at... but believe me thats just the guys-talk, when I talk individually with someone they say it doesn't matter as long as they r in love with a girl, and small boobs can actually look "cute"... maybe I keep around me intellectual/educated friends, maybe shallow people will say otherwise ... IDK



> If you like big boobs and your girlfriend doesn't have them what do you do?


in short : if I really like someone it'll be the last thing to cause a problem, 

in your case ... maybe he is right, in most cases I know (again this is based on my friends): fantasies have negative effects, but they dont ruin a relationship


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

DemonD said:


> The amount of importance a man places in boobs is often inversely proportional to his intelligence.


now now. I like women's boobs a LOT. I'm pretty bright.

I am VERY picky about sizes. I like them in the range of A minus through F. I REALLY prefer natural boobs, although I will admit I played with a few boobs which had been reduced nicely. They were extra perky, and fun.
I'm picky about age. I've played with 21 year old boobs back when I was 21 - they were fun. I've played with boobs as old as 62. Those were fun.

I've played with big saggy boobs, big fluffy boobs, medium saggy boobs, small perky, small saggy, tender gentle nipples, pierced nipples, small nipples, big nipples and everything else.

My conclusion is I really like women's boobs as long as they fit within the range provided, and are attached to a woman who is not a self centered bitch.


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## RobynC (Jun 10, 2011)

@drmiller100

So I guess you're a hooterologist?


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## Xenograft (Jul 1, 2013)

Boobs are pretty cool.

But they're just superficial, they're never, like, a deal breaker thing. It's a physical attraction thing, and I have NO IDEA WHY. 

To answer your question, if I was with a girl just for sex, which is not why I would be with a girl, then it'd be a problem. Otherwise it's not of any importance. Boobs are a small factor of a women's attractiveness, and there is a VERY BIG difference between being "attractive" and being "sexy." Very different. You cannot confuse emotional attraction to physical attraction, especially in this day and age where large boobs are popularised by media and stuff.


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## Abdurrahman Kh (Jun 19, 2013)

Lazy Bear said:


> Boobs are pretty cool.
> 
> But they're just superficial, they're never, like, a deal breaker thing. It's a physical attraction thing, and I have NO IDEA WHY.
> 
> To answer your question, if I was with a girl just for sex, which is not why I would be with a girl, then it'd be a problem. Otherwise it's not of any importance. Boobs are a small factor of a women's attractiveness, and there is a VERY BIG difference between being "attractive" and being "sexy." Very different. You cannot confuse emotional attraction to physical attraction, especially in this day and age where large boobs are popularised by media and stuff.


I think Im with you, bit note to that, emotional attraction always lead to physical attraction, ALWAYS.


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## Xenograft (Jul 1, 2013)

Exactly. 

If you two are emotionally attached, I wouldn't really worry.


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## Ballast (Jun 17, 2013)

Well, I guess you could look at it as being similar to penis size.

Everybody's got what they're born with and they're taught, culturally, to be unaccepting of what they have. But in the real world there's a lot of range for preference.


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## danny.leach.52 (Jun 5, 2013)

I read in a psychology text book that men's fascination with big boobs are because 1) we are visual creatures, more to look at 2) it's an evolutionary desire, bigger breasts USED to mean better sign of fertility/healthier. That being said don't let that get you down, most guys prefer them but any guy that's so shallow that he'll break it off because of breast size isn't even worth the effort. The porn thing is discouraging but most guys do look at porn and their porn fantasies can get pretty screwed up. Sorry to hear about your bad experience


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## Emerald Legend (Jul 13, 2010)

I don't know, but my mind gets hijacked every time a big-boobed girls walk by me. It's pretty annoying really, the power two blobs of fat have in my thinking :frustrating:

Maybe because having boobs = she's feminine..doesn't look like guys? They're soft, feels like bags of wet sand..I just love it!


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## Mr. Meepers (May 31, 2012)

letter_to_dana said:


> Ummm ok. I have a pretty dumb question for you guys... and yes i mean GUYS.
> So one of my ex boyfriends was sooo into big boobs. But like HUGE! And i'm really far away from that. I'm also very skinny. At the beginning of our relationship he told me he didn't care about big boobs or big asses. BUT after a while he kept telling me how he thinks I should do something about my boobs (as a joke) and I discovered on his browser history lots of porn links with milf womens... I was hurt. I asked him why he lied to me and he told me that his fantasies don't have anything to do with me.
> Even now I really don't think that's true.
> So... my question is this: If you like big boobs and your girlfriend doesn't have them what do you do? And also, do you really think fantasies don't affect your relationship (in case you can't turn them into reality)? I'm a bit confused and curious about other oppinions.


This may not be my place to say, but your ex boyfriend's "jokes" sound very rude and insensitive to me

As far as myself, I prefer larger breasts, but I'm attracted just about all female boobs that I have seen lol And, if I love someone, then their looks don't matter to me. My aesthetics change to match their looks (what I mean is physical aesthetics can change because of our emotional connections). Not to mention that I've seen a shirtless picture of a woman (on the internet) with no boobs (due to breast cancer) and I found her strength in that picture very attractive ... so boobs are not a big deal. 

Hmmm, It depends on the fantasy. Most fantasies I do not think they do, but if a fantasy is on or near the fetish level, then I think they do. For instance, I have a fetish for being submissive (I want a woman to have her way with my penis :blushed: and have control over me sexually :blushed and that definitely affects sex, but, at the same time it trumps any other fantasies as I just simply telling me that I have to do whatever you say is enough to turn me on (so the fantasy don't have to be completely enacted, but pretending that they are going to happen and saying "suggestive" things can really work well as well) and no other fantasy matters at that point (and, if I love the woman, then my desire to be submissive to her and pleasure her only becomes much bigger).
Does that make sense? "Normal" fantasies don't really matter, but fantasies near the level of fetish (i.e. it is really hard, if not impossible to separate the fetish and sex in the mind is what I mean by that) then I think they do affect the relationship a lot


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## Manifestation (Jul 4, 2013)

Every time I think about my boobs, I hear the guy from hot tub time machine saying "Busted ass titties" 
yea, I nursed my daughter for 9 months, and those puppies went up 2 sizes! only to go down 2 sizes...  Now I cover up those tatas in sweet lingerre. 

P.S. Motorboats are fun


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## Slider (Nov 17, 2009)

Imverypunny said:


> It's not personal. He just needs to get his rocks off with his fantasy porn. Seriously its just how guys are wired. Your worth way more to him outside just psychical attraction.


Yeah, no.

When in a romantic relationship, viewing porn should cease or decrease considerably.

If he is still looking at porn....like a lot, then something is wrong.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

It depends on the guy. Your ex-boyfriend seems to have a boob fetish, or to actually prefer older or curvier women, and I'm glad he's your ex now, because there's nothing worse than having a boyfriend who secretly wishes you'd have plastic surgery for him, you'd be perfect for him if only your boobs were bigger (or smaller, in my case).

Some guys like feet. Some like butts. Others like very slender women, others voluptuous.

I'm not even sure why people with clear extreme preferences or fetishes get involved with people who aren't their type, only to kind of torment and "punish" that person for not being born of a particular physical type, or rejecting them sexually and watching porn.

I do admit once in my early twenties I tried to make a relationship work with a guy I wasn't really very attracted to, because I thought he was a good person and treated me the way he should, did all the "right" things.

It was a failure. I am not asexual.

I don't think that's that's quite the same thing, though, but it's the closest I can compare of my own actions, because otherwise I really don't get it.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

DemonD said:


> The amount of importance a man places in boobs is often inversely proportional to his intelligence.


I'm not so sure about that. I think some people just have very extreme preferences. I've met guys with very picky preferences who actually like small breasts ...picky preferences and fetishes aren't exclusive to boob men. Boob men are just very accepted for some reason in white, Western culture ...as well as the "skinny" thing, that's a white Western man thing; where as being "a butt man" seems to be associated more with Latino or African-American men (or hourglass, butt and boobs, or voluptuous women); then there are your actual fetish people who want to suck on toes and rub your arches against their privates.

I'm not sure people can help what they're sexually attracted to, I really don't. ON THE OTHER HAND, I think at some point it becomes about something other than sex.

For example, I like athletic men. I just do. And by athletic, I don't mean big huge body builder, more like lean and active types of guys. I don't seem to care if they're 20 or 40, or if their eyes are brown or blue or green, or if they're mixed with Argentine or Japanese...but I've noticed a tendency toward men who share certain racial traits, even. 

I have a really wide preference range. In fact if you lined up all of my boyfriends or lovers, ever, you'd probably not see a huge similarity between them all physically speaking, except for my general tendency toward "under middle age" and being fit or muscular without being huge and buff....but I've noticed a real pattern, and I do think I do outright pass over certain physical types, and may always do so.

But of course this isn't as important as the "overall package." But try to tell that to someone with a fetish or a very extreme preference. It just will not work. For example like the girl who likes to date black guys, if you try to get her to date a white guy, she probably won't...not because she's racist, in general terms, but because that's what she likes sexually.

There's still something ugly about being overly focused on "physical perfection" or changing your partner or replacing them with porn; it's not necessarily a sign of low intelligence, but I think it hints at things being emotionally wrong with that person, like choosing partners for the wrong reasons and not appreciating their current partners for who they are.


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## Imverypunny (Jul 2, 2013)

> If he is still looking at porn....like a lot, then something is wrong.


Yeah I agree. I should of specified how often. Lots can be a worry. Infrequent porn...meh.


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## letter_to_dana (Jun 4, 2013)

Emerald Legend said:


> I don't know, but my mind gets hijacked every time a big-boobed girls walk by me. It's pretty annoying really, the power two blobs of fat have in my thinking :frustrating:
> 
> Maybe because having boobs = she's feminine..doesn't look like guys? They're soft, feels like bags of wet sand..I just love it!


Sooo you're saying that if i have small breasts i can't be feminine?
I know what psychology books are telling... how man are very visual and how they have a special or pronounced preference for big boobs because they are thinking in their subconscious about their mothers breasts...
BUT i really don't think the feminine part has everything to do with it. I mean I agree with what @_Lazy Bear_ said here:


> there is a VERY BIG difference between being "attractive" and being "sexy"



...and I also believe a woman can be very feminine depending on her overall attitude. Am I wrong?


And regarding my ex boyfriend. Yep he did had a boob fetish and I never understood why he picked me...
I mean yeah we had our good times and sexually we were okay most of times (that's because I kept telling myself that if he doesn't really like my boobs but he is in love with my ass and how I make him happy with oral sex its ok) but whenever I asked him why is he attracted to me (knowing that his ideal type was waaaaay far from how I am) he couldn't say anything.
Anyway the boob problem wasn't really why we broke up. He became very rude and I couldn't take it anymore.


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

letter_to_dana said:


> So... my question is this: If you like big boobs and your girlfriend doesn't have them what do you do?


Nothing, as there is nothing I *could* do. Or she for that matter.

If it was a deal breaker to me she'd not be my girl friend in the first place.


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

letter_to_dana said:


> Ummm ok. I have a pretty dumb question for you guys... and yes i mean GUYS.
> So one of my ex boyfriends was sooo into big boobs. But like HUGE! And i'm really far away from that. I'm also very skinny. At the beginning of our relationship he told me he didn't care about big boobs or big asses. BUT after a while he kept telling me how he thinks I should do something about my boobs (as a joke) and I discovered on his browser history lots of porn links with milf womens... I was hurt. I asked him why he lied to me and he told me that his fantasies don't have anything to do with me.
> Even now I really don't think that's true.
> So... my question is this: If you like big boobs and your girlfriend doesn't have them what do you do? And also, do you really think fantasies don't affect your relationship (in case you can't turn them into reality)? I'm a bit confused and curious about other oppinions.


Different guys like different boobs.

C-cup would be the most optimal.

o.o I specifically don't like big breasts ^^..c-cup or smaller plz. Find a guy wo likes you for who you are, don't bother with ppl who want you to change.


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## CrystallineSheep (Jul 8, 2012)

You get the breasts that go with your body figure and type. Your ex-boyfriends sounds like he has a teenage boy mentality and I wouldn't worry about it. I am sure you have the boobs that are proportionate to your figure. I honestly think most men want a woman who is overall pleasing to the eye whether big boobs or small boobs. Women who genetically have small breasts would probably look silly with big breasts while I, on the other hand, as someone with a bigger bust would probably look silly with small breasts since I have a more hourglass shape. Nature knows its business. Men will most likely always oogle any assets that attract attention but you know, at the end of the day, it is all about proportion. I know you wanted a male perspective but this is just from my experience with other female friends who have discussed it. I have had smaller busted friends try to make me feel bad for having bigger breasts. But you know, fuck that. I honestly believe what you have naturally, is what probably looks best. I am sick of the whole competition and trying to make one size seem better than the other. Women shouldn't have to feel like there is only certain attractive features. It can vary a lot. Everyone has their right to what they think is more attractive but I am very damn sure there are males who don't care about boob size or may even prefer smaller busted women. What I am trying to say is that whatever a guy reckons to be his ideal woman, shouldn't become your problem. If he is seriously interested you, then it should be a relationship above physical attraction and he would be rather stupid and shallow to think he can walk in and suggest his girlfriend to undergo serious and painful surgery to please him. Forget it.


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

letter_to_dana said:


> Sooo you're saying that if i have small breasts i can't be feminine?
> 
> 
> ...and I also believe a woman can be very feminine depending on her overall attitude. Am I wrong?
> ...


I cut away much of your reply to point out a few things. I've been around some INTP women. To me, they are the ultimate in women who at first, casual glance do not LOOK feminine sometimes. Some of them just do not care about looking feminine out in the public world. 
However, when the bedroom door closes they very much appreciate being treated like a woman. They can dress up if they are loved and comfortable, they just don't choose to very often.

Your ex was a twit. A rather shallow self centered twit. You wasted too much time on him. Oops.


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## Emerald Legend (Jul 13, 2010)

letter_to_dana said:


> Sooo you're saying that if i have small breasts i can't be feminine?
> I know what psychology books are telling... how man are very visual and how they have a special or pronounced preference for big boobs because they are thinking in their subconscious about their mothers breasts...
> BUT i really don't think the feminine part has everything to do with it. I mean I agree with what @_Lazy Bear_ said here:
> 
> ...


I totally understand my comment probably rubbed you the wrong way, maybe you have small perky tits - I don't know, but to answer your question, can females be feminine without having big ones? If I was judging women by my _subjective_ view of 'what's feminine and how feminine' I would definitely rank a women with big bosom as more feminine than the others..based solely on appearance of course and as long as they're not ridiculously large. Now you might ask 'what is feminine anyway?' To me it's everything masculine is not. That means shapely boobs, ass, no penis, absence of male behaviors/actions/traits, etc. Would I kick a girl out because she doesn't have big boobs/ass?- No, they're considered assets for a reason.


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## datMBTIguy (Oct 31, 2012)

I like big boobs because they're soft to lay on and fun to play with. But there are definite perks (pun intended) to small ones. It would not be a deciding factor in whether I'm attracted to a girl or not, except in extreme cases - if you're flatter than me or just beyond huge, then that's *totally fine* but it just isn't for me. B's and C's are my ideal but I've been across the map with A's and with DD's too.

Your ex would be a douche for placing so much importance on large boobs. IMO Boobs are boobs and boobs are fun, and smaller ones are much more likely to look pretty. Don't get down on yourself for what you've got, just work with it and find someone who isn't a dummy about it.


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## Kyora (Mar 17, 2013)

Ok... I'm not a guy ^^' but anyway (I've been following this thread since yesterday and wanted to say something but I didn't since you wrote "GUYS"...) But I cannot stand by and watch...
So first of all, your ex boyfriend is definetely a douche! He seems insensitive as MrMeepers said, uncaring and not empathetic... 
Second, if you are very skinny, having bigger breasts wouldn't suit you  
Third, don't listen to that kind of boys, if you feel content with your breasts, then you shouldn't do something about it  Some of my "guys" friends are fond of smaller breast (one even said that he would like his girlfriend to have A-cup breasts (his maximum would be B-cup, he said that C-cup are not his cup of tea and D-cup and above are just awful), my ex boyfriend told me that he doesn't really care about boobs size if he can still grab them entirely.

I wouldn't say that boys that like bigger breasts are stupid... everyone has its preference (plus if everyone like small breasts, how hard would it be for girls with big boobs?  )

I hope you won't listen to your ex-boyfriend and won't wish to have big boobs since they are a pain in the ass...


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## Brian1 (May 7, 2011)

I think in the beginning, there's something normal in a guy to want to have a girl with big boobs, because men grow up with women, and when in high school, it's like you didn't have those before, man breasts are awesome,because they're right in front of you. But that's when there's a lot of innocence in it. As we get on with the process of living life, things change. I really think people,mostly celebrities who can afford it, like Pam Anderson,spending all that money to get a certain look, forever big breasts,there's something sad about it. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and trying to get a better busty look says that you're insecure and needy. And a lot of men really leave the relationship of needy and insecure. I was just reading that a lot of Jennifer Annistan's exs- like John Mayer, think she's needy and insecure,and half of her career of appearing nude on a magazine, for me it was Rolling Stone when she just got the part on Friends, bears witness to that insecurity and neediness observation. At some point grown men look for other traits that aren't superficial. There's something unhealthy in a guy that wants his girlfriend/wife to get a adjustment or plastic surgery done.


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## WolfStar (Aug 18, 2009)

Is he happy with you? Are you happy with him? Is the sex or attraction or whatever good? If so, stop complicating things. Judge him based on his actions, not his jokes.


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## Solrac026 (Mar 6, 2012)

Torai said:


> And there are many things a small-titted woman like you has over women with large breasts:
> 
> 
> You can walk naked around any house or apartment without getting back pain.
> ...


...most interesting... I never looked small boobs in that light. Some of these are very true, like actually paying attention in a conversation. It's seriously difficult not looking at big boobs.


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## Abdurrahman Kh (Jun 19, 2013)

Kyora said:


> I wouldn't say that boys that like bigger breasts are stupid... everyone has its preference (plus if everyone like small breasts, how hard would it be for girls with big boobs?  )


all people have preferences, its totally OK to love any specifics in the opposite sex
but to make a big deal out of it, Is shallow...


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## Quernus (Dec 8, 2011)

WolfStar said:


> Is he happy with you? Are you happy with him? Is the sex or attraction or whatever good? If so, stop complicating things. Judge him based on his actions, not his jokes.


Actually, a compatible sense of humor is HUGELY important (to me, and many others) in a relationship. And I do not have a compatible sense of humor with anyone who primarily makes jokes that insult, humiliate, degrade, pressure, guilt or shame others. Especially about shallow or superficial matters, or about traits over which one has no control/is sensitive about. Also this kind of joke is rather sexist.

This guy was a jerk, as she also mentioned in her other comments. I think it was perfectly reasonable for her to feel worn down by repeated jokes about her physical attributes, especially coming from the person she is supposed to be physically intimate with.


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## WolfStar (Aug 18, 2009)

spectralsparrow said:


> Actually, a compatible sense of humor is HUGELY important (to me, and many others) in a relationship. And I do not have a compatible sense of humor with anyone who primarily makes jokes that insult, humiliate, degrade, pressure, guilt or shame others. Especially about shallow or superficial matters, or about traits over which one has no control/is sensitive about. Also this kind of joke is rather sexist.
> 
> This guy was a jerk, as she also mentioned in her other comments. I think it was perfectly reasonable for her to feel worn down by repeated jokes about her physical attributes, especially coming from the person she is supposed to be physically intimate with.


You need a compatible sense of humour? Good for you. Irrelevant, though. I make jokes that put people down, but I do it to where it's so ridiculous it's obvious that it's not serious. Joking about boobs is sexist...that just...I'm done.


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## cityofcircuits (Nov 8, 2010)

Boobs.


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## JackParrish (May 5, 2012)

Breasts are intimately connected with desire, but there is no "single most desirable" way. The tastes in the world are as varied as the people who have them. 

As for me, I like most/all breasts. I'm probably least attracted to HUGE breasts of any type. I know many, many guys just like me. 

As with most things, it's all about how a woman uses them. Is she in-touch with her sense of seduction and confidence? Does she allow herself to be free and experience pleasure regardless of her (perceived) limitations? 

As for your boyfriend, his issue is not his preferences. We all have them, and in truth, they change and evolve for every one of us over time--men and women. Having fantasies is healthy and normal, even if they are very different from what we experience on a day to day basis. His issue wasn't the preference, it was that he expressed these to you in a way that made you feel he wasn't being honest with you, and maybe even undermining your sense of self confidence. If he is with YOU, then he is with the whole configuration that makes you up. He can accept you or reject you--that is his freedom--but he doesn't have the right to even jokingly undermine your confidence about who you are. Tell him to face it like a man, confront what he wants in his life, and figure out if he's willing to support you as you live your life. 

If he cannot, let him go. If he can, good enough.


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

Solrac026 said:


> ...most interesting... I never looked small boobs in that light. Some of these are very true, like actually paying attention in a conversation. It's seriously difficult not looking at big boobs.


I think most girls with big breasts know people are curious and are gonna glance once or twice. I think the only thing that really pisses them off is when it's invasive or keeps you from listening to what's coming out of their mouth.

There was one time I was chastised by my girlfriend for staring at her breasts, and the funny thing was that it was actually completely by accident. I happened to be extremely embarrassed because it was an awkward situation and I was afraid I ruined things, and I was completely out of it. My eyes literally just happened to be in that direction when I spaced out. Not to say I'm not guilty of making a few glances, but considering she can recognize me by the shape of my butt (which she openly admits to staring at), she's not one to lecture me. :tongue:


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## Quernus (Dec 8, 2011)

WolfStar said:


> You need a compatible sense of humour? Good for you. Irrelevant, though. I make jokes that put people down, but I do it to where it's so ridiculous it's obvious that it's not serious. Joking about boobs is sexist...that just...I'm done.


It isn't irrelevant, if your response to her question/request for_ relationship advice _is "suck it up, it's just his sense of humor". 

Joking about boobs is not necessarily sexist, at least I hope not... or else I am in trouble! 

The way in which this dude seemed to be joking about boobs seemed degrading, devaluing and a bit sexist. 

Also, it sure didn't seem like he was trying to be "obviously not serious", but maybe that is just me.

I dunno! I mean it's one thing to have the opinion of "Oh, it sounds like he's not serious and doesn't mean it. Obviously if it's really a problem then it's not the right fit for you anyway". But she's expressing that she's uncomfortable with it, and it was a recurring thing, and I think the feelings of your significant other should have priority over your sense of "freedom" to joke about one particular subject that truly disturbs them.


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## perfectcircle (Jan 5, 2011)

Imverypunny said:


> It's not personal. He just needs to get his rocks off with his fantasy porn. Seriously its just how guys are wired. Your worth way more to him outside just psychical attraction.


That's not true. I don't have anything against the viewing of porn for moral reasons, and it may very well not be personal, but porn isn't natural and needing it isn't part of how a guy is wired. Viewing porn re-wires the brain. It's like not being able to enjoy fruit because you're used to sugary cake, or enjoy a good cup of coffee cause you're wired on heroin. The level of dopamine and reward drugs given by porn does seem to effect male arousal and how they view women. Studies have shown it can make them less able to enjoy their real life sex lives, have unrealistic standards, contribute to ED, ect.

To the OP, I think the your boyfriend is right in his fantasies don't necessarily reflect on you, and watching porn or thinking about big breasts doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy your body, but at the same time the fact he's making strange comments and implying something is lacking in your body does show something is wrong. He plays it off like a joke but someone wouldn't say something like that without implicitly thinking small boobs are worse OR trying to make you feel bad about your body. He may be unconsciously resentful or just thinking since you don't measure up he "has something on you". I'd discuss that it's not ok to make fun of your body or imply it's anything but sexy, and if he doesn't like your body & think it's best the way it is, he can go find someone else to f*ck, put nicer unless otherwise necessary.


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## Haydn (Sep 20, 2012)

Torai said:


> And there are many things a small-titted woman like you has over women with large breasts:
> 
> 
> You can walk naked around any house or apartment without getting back pain.


I have very large breasts, I have no back pain and I can walk around my home naked. Most women with naturally big breasts have the kind of shoulders that support them without back pain being an issue.




> They are much less likely to sag.


You got me on this one even though not much sagging yet myself. However, I sometimes think large, full saggy breasts look better than small deflated saggy breasts.



> Nobody pries at your small boobs and asks if they're natural.


This issue rarely comes up for me. Most people are not that rude.



> You can find bras that fit in your local department store.


I can too...most times.



> You can wear pretty blouses without having to unbutton them and show an ungodly amount of cleavage.


I can too.



> Most guys carry on an actual conversation with you without staring at them.


This is not a big problem usually.



> You can wear shirts with patterns or printing and not have them stretch out.


So can I.



> Smaller breasts are generally more sensitive and you can get more from nipple stimulation.


Very, very wrong here I think and I have reason to think it is probably the opposite. I am not sure where this I idea has come from.



> You can buy sexy lingerie at an affordable price.


Yes, that is a bit of a problem.



> You don't get labeled as a slut or a whore for simply having big boobs.


Yeah, this can be a problem, It is like some women think your breasts are going to reach out and steal their husbands. Very annoying.



> There's also the advantage of a partner being able to cup your entire boob in their hand. That's sexy no matter how you look at it.


Some people are greedy and like a cup that is overflowing ;-)



> Girls with big boobs are often jealous of you for exactly those reasons. Seriously, D-Cup Distress is a real thing.


Can't say I have had this issue myself. I am more than D-cup naturally and I would not really want it any other way, I have been somewhat jealous of girls with bigger and rounder butts but never of a small breasted woman. Yes, sure sometimes I will talk down my breasts a little to make small breasted women feel better but honestly, I really like my breasts and I would guess that most though not all women with big breasts kinda like or at least have a love/hate relationship with them.

I think women with small breasts should just be proud of what they have and more importantly, who they are rather than put down big breasted women to feel better about themselves. They are only breasts really big or small and attraction to them is really only about preference.


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## Mind Virus (Jul 5, 2013)

I am into proportions. If the girl is petite, I wouldn't want some large boobs on her but if she does, that is fine. I'll learn to accept it


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## Solrac026 (Mar 6, 2012)

Torai said:


> I think most girls with big breasts know people are curious and are gonna glance once or twice. I think the only thing that really pisses them off is when it's invasive or keeps you from listening to what's coming out of their mouth.
> 
> There was one time I was chastised by my girlfriend for staring at her breasts, and the funny thing was that it was actually completely by accident. I happened to be extremely embarrassed because it was an awkward situation and I was afraid I ruined things, and I was completely out of it. My eyes literally just happened to be in that direction when I spaced out. Not to say I'm not guilty of making a few glances, but considering she can recognize me by the shape of my butt (which she openly admits to staring at), she's not one to lecture me. :tongue:


LOL, yeah sometimes I space out physically and it looks like I'm staring at something when I'm really just super absorbed in my own head. It's always awkward when I'm "staring" at a person or boobs.


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## Mr. Meepers (May 31, 2012)

Haydn said:


> > Smaller breasts are generally more sensitive and you can get more from nipple stimulation.
> 
> 
> Very, very wrong here I think and I have reason to think it is probably the opposite. I am not sure where this I idea has come from.


I think Torai's list was not meant to be true for all women (everyone is different), for instance I believe many women with larger breasts may report back pain (which has been attributed to their breast weight), but that does not mean all women with large breasts will will ... Although, I imagine he may have been wrong about women's clothing lol

As far as what I quoted, I have heard this as well. From the Personality Cafe members that I have read/talked to about being able to orgasm via nipple stimulation (Not gonna lie, that is sexy), they were all women with smaller breasts (although, if you read the first post of the "I'm a woman, ask me anything" thread you will read about a woman who can orgasm with no physical stimulation so the orgasm from nipple stimulation may involve more mental reasons ... well emotionally stimulated sexy stuff is always better  ) ... The reasoning behind "why" is that if we assume that all breasts have about the same amount of pleasure nerves, then women with smaller breasts would have a higher density of nerves per area of the breasts and more nerve would be hit with every lick (and other "activities" that I don't need to mention :wink


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

- not every person is a body fetishist
- not every body fetishist is into the same thing
- not every body fetishist places the same importance on the thing(s) they're into

**and it has little to do with 'intelligence' as someone mentioned - it has more to do with socialization and childhood experiences, creating associations either positive or negative. a lot of fetish has to do with trauma at a young age, actually.

and yes, the breast fetish is actually a fetish and not merely a biological attraction, "surprisingly" *airjerk*

someone will be attracted to you just the way you are, because:
- either they're a body fetishist into your particular body
or
- they are not a body fetishist and they become attracted to you because .. they're attracted to -you-


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## Haydn (Sep 20, 2012)

Mr. Meepers said:


> I think Torai's list was not meant to be true for all women (everyone is different), for instance I believe many women with larger breasts may report back pain (which has been attributed to their breast weight), but that does not mean all women with large breasts will will ... Although, I imagine he may have been wrong about women's clothing lol
> 
> As far as what I quoted, I have heard this as well. From the Personality Cafe members that I have read/talked to about being able to orgasm via nipple stimulation (Not gonna lie, that is sexy), they were all women with smaller breasts (although, if you read the first post of the "I'm a woman, ask me anything" thread you will read about a woman who can orgasm with no physical stimulation so the orgasm from nipple stimulation may involve more mental reasons ... well emotionally stimulated sexy stuff is always better  ) ... The reasoning behind "why" is that if we assume that all breasts have about the same amount of pleasure nerves, then women with smaller breasts would have a higher density of nerves per area of the breasts and more nerve would be hit with every lick (and other "activities" that I don't need to mention :wink


Yes, I know that some women with large breasts do suffer from back pain but I maintain that most women with large breasts usually have figures that can support them without pain. Look around you at women with naturally large breast, you may find that they usually have an inverted triangle or hour glass shape with slightly wider shoulders. I can't really generalize from people I know personally but nearly all the women in my family are hour glass shaped with huge breasts and none of them suffer even the slightest from back pain. 

I am currently using a computer where it would not be appropriate to comment much about the stimulation issue except to say that larger breasts do tend to also have more nerve endings and greater surface area. I am pretty damn sure this reduced stimulation thing was a horribly untrue rumor dream up by some small breasted woman who was not satisfied with herself. I will probably post another comment from somewhere else about this later.


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## AiyokuSama (Jul 2, 2013)

letter_to_dana said:


> True its about tastes. But once you're starting a relationship with a woman you should start accepting her as she is, right?
> Or don't fuckin' start the relationship.


I would agree, but you said he's told you that his fantasy life has nothing to do with his feelings about you. So why do you think he doesn't accept you? I mean it's possible he's a slime bucket and you're better off dumping his ass, but are you REALLY wanting to go that far? Is there something else about him that is pushing your buttons and this is the last straw? Why assume he's not attracted to you? Do you have insecurities about your body that you're projecting one to him?

Yes, yes, I'm female, but it's not just guys that have sexual fantasy lives. And yes, the fantasy can be very different from reality. That's why it's called fantasy.

My mother had a saying in regards to relationships: "It doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home." If he's still eating at home, then I wouldn't worry.


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## dalex (May 26, 2012)

Since this thread is about breasts, its likely going to reach page 50.


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

I understand I could be wildly misinformed about this stuff because my experience is limited and basically informed by GF boob rants and "big boob problems" sites.



Haydn said:


> I have very large breasts, I have no back pain and I can walk around my home naked. Most women with naturally big breasts have the kind of shoulders that support them without back pain being an issue.


I wouldn't say that's completely true... However, my experience on that may be biased because my SO happens to be around 5'2" and petite.



> This issue rarely comes up for me. Most people are not that rude.


Still, some people do it for big-breasted girls whereas no one does it for small-breasted ones.



> I can too...most times.


Fair enough. I guess there's a lot of stuff in the way of regular boobwear. The person might have been referring to sexy underwear.



> I can too.


Common missus complaint. 



> This is not a big problem usually.


Meh, to be fair, I have been lurking a lot of big titty problems sites.



> So can I.


Some online complaint. Or maybe it's a certain size of lettering that has the issue.



> Very, very wrong here I think and I have reason to think it is probably the opposite. I am not sure where this I idea has come from.


Normal cutaneous sensibility of the breast. [Plast Reconstr Surg. 1998] - PubMed - NCBI

Semmes-Weinstein monofilament testing showed that subjects with larger breasts had overall decreased nipple sensitivity. 

To be fair, it could be a weak association. My GF also has really sensitive nipples.



> Some people are greedy and like a cup that is overflowing ;-)


Still a sexy ass thought, in my book. To be honest, I like a lot of breasts of all shapes and sizes, but have a slight preference for bigger breasts.

I still love a good pillowboob.



> Can't say I have had this issue myself. I am more than D-cup naturally and I would not really want it any other way, I have been somewhat jealous of girls with bigger and rounder butts but never of a small breasted woman. Yes, sure sometimes I will talk down my breasts a little to make small breasted women feel better but honestly, I really like my breasts and I would guess that most though not all women with big breasts kinda like or at least have a love/hate relationship with them.


I don't know... I've seen only about a 20% love - 80% hate of these things from my GF.



> I think women with small breasts should just be proud of what they have and more importantly, who they are rather than put down big breasted women to feel better about themselves. They are only breasts really big or small and attraction to them is really only about preference.


To be dead honest, I can understand it. In a world where a lot of guys will opine preferences for bigger and larger breasts, there's this kind of raincloud over women with small breasts because they'll never have Pamela Anderson tits. I mean, the way a lot of big-breasted women feel when small-breasted women put them down, a lot of small breasted women feel on a regular basis when the media tells them bigger is better.

A lot of them want some sort of reassurance that they're attractive as they are. Not only attractive, but stunning. And with everyone saying all these perks about big boobs very much to the dismissal of small breasts, small breasted women want to feel somewhat special instead of standard-issue. And to feel special, you have to have perks that others don't have.


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## Master Mind (Aug 15, 2011)

I've never been attracted to a woman or not attracted to a woman because of her breasts.


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## Haydn (Sep 20, 2012)

Torai said:


> .
> 
> Meh, to be fair, I have been lurking a lot of big titty problem sites.


Maybe you should just hang at big titty sites...period. Those should be far more fun.:happy:




> Semmes-Weinstein monofilament testing showed that subjects with larger breasts had overall decreased nipple sensitivity.
> 
> To be fair, it could be a weak association. My GF also has really sensitive nipples.


Behind that single research somewhere could be a small tittied female:laughing:. In my case, I just need to have my blouse brush lightly against my breast in daily life to experience intense stimulation. I can have an easy orgasm just through stimulation of the breast alone. The only time I have halfheartedly thought about a possible reduction is in the past when the constant unintentional stimulation became irritating and I thought that a reduction may have the side effect of reducing the near constant arousal. Believe me, I could stand to lose a few nerve ending from that area. That would not be worth it for me though and I have found a simpler way to deal with that issue now.




> I don't know... I've seen only about a 20% love - 80% hate of these things from my GF.


Is you girlfriend highly sexual and feminine in general? Some women like small breasts because they think it is better for fashion and that it looks neater. Then you have the big breasted attention seekers who like to complain about none existent big breast problems. Your girlfriend could be one of those with a genuine problem though and she probably should consider better fitting bras or probably reduction surgery. I cannot personally identify with this big breast causing back pain problem myself however.







> To be dead honest, I can understand it. In a world where a lot of guys will opine preferences for bigger and larger breasts, there's this kind of raincloud over women with small breasts because they'll never have Pamela Anderson tits. I mean, the way a lot of big-breasted women feel when small-breasted women put them down, a lot of small breasted women feel on a regular basis when the media tells them bigger is better.
> 
> A lot of them want some sort of reassurance that they're attractive as they are. Not only attractive, but stunning. And with everyone saying all these perks about big boobs very much to the dismissal of small breasts, small breasted women want to feel somewhat special instead of standard-issue. And to feel special, you have to have perks that others don't have.


Well I admit it, I like my breasts a lot, I am practically attracted to myself lol, however, I really do not see this problem with small breasts at all. If I were a lesbian, I would probably go for enormously oversize or really small and perky maybe because I like extremes generally. To me, beautiful breasts come in all shapes and sizes and I hardly think most men even care that much about breast size when they are serious about a woman. I did wonder if it was the OP's own insecurities rather than anything that her ex said that really bothered her. I wish women would stop letting the media/other people decide how we must look to be desirable or to feel good about ourselves.


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## Jerzy Urban (Apr 6, 2013)

DemonD said:


> The amount of importance a man places in boobs is often inversely proportional to his intelligence.


Sensational comment, right there.

A woman which overly exposes her boobs are actually less attractive imo, Its nice when they leave something for your imagination.


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## letter_to_dana (Jun 4, 2013)

Haha glad this topic went beyond the initial problem... :laughing: 
Unfortunately for me I remained a bit insecure about my boobs after my relationship with this dude ended. But i'll survive! I find myself very expressive most of times even if I have an A cup  I was stupid enough to think that I should change myself physically in order to please him but not anymore.
Anyway this topic wasn't really meant to be a 'relationship advice' type of topic but the way it went helped me understand better some details about how you guys see this thing...



AiyokuSama said:


> I would agree, but you said he's told you that his fantasy life has nothing to do with his *feelings* about you. So why do you think he doesn't accept you?


I didn't say anything about his feelings. I didn't really knew what he felt about me because he was really silent about everything. But the fact that he constantly looked at porn and not just any porn I mean at "milf/moms/older woman" category made me think he really isn't that attracted to me as he said at the beginning. I'm 22 years old so I don't understand why a guy with obivous preference for older woman would stay with one that wouldn't look like one thats in her 30s FFS!
He did express his feelings by doing lots of stuff for me and supporting me at bad times (he was a really good friend when I was feeling down) bla bla bla but at the end of the day you need your sex life satisfaction too. He also wasn't the type of guy that moans when he feels good. So every time I did him oral (he was a fan of big boobs and oral sex) i didn't know if he liked it or not. He did say he loved it but in my oppinion if a guy/girl doesn't give you any kind of hints about how you should act in order to please him/her more it's not alright.
Our relationship *for me*felt more like a 'friends with benefits' more than a truly commited one. So my conclusion regarding him is that he was extremly selfish, shallow and unexperienced.



> My mother had a saying in regards to relationships: "It doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home." If he's still eating at home, then I wouldn't worry.


That's sad. I would really prefer a man who just takes me out :tongue: to eat something 'fancy' together instead of eating the same meal everyday at home. Do you get me?


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## AiyokuSama (Jul 2, 2013)

letter_to_dana said:


> I didn't really knew what he felt about me because he was really silent about everything.


A lot of guys are. So are a lot of girls, for that mater. It's extremely annoying. But in that case its' all the more important that you initiate dialogue. Did you? Or did you just assume?



letter_to_dana said:


> But the fact that he constantly looked at porn and not just any porn I mean at "milf/moms/older woman" category made me think he really isn't that attracted to me as he said at the beginning.


The "fact" is, he was looking at porn, full stop. Everything after that is what you are putting on his actions and the motivation you are ascribing to him. This doesn't further communication, instead it sets up misunderstandings.



letter_to_dana said:


> I'm 22 years old so I don't understand why a guy with an obvious preference for older woman would stay with one that wouldn't look like one thats in her 30s FFS!


Did you ask him?



letter_to_dana said:


> He did express his feelings by doing lots of stuff for me and supporting me at bad times (he was a really good friend when I was feeling down) bla bla bla but at the end of the day you need your sex life satisfaction too.


Oh I completely agree. I kicked one to the curb because he treated me like a nympho for suggesting sex every couple of weeks.

But my point here is that in a relationship assuming is the kiss the death, since you've already decided that your partner has failed some test.


letter_to_dana said:


> I would really prefer a man who just takes me out :tongue: to eat something 'fancy' together instead of eating the same meal everyday at home. Do you get me?


Oh yes. I'm back in the dating game currently and it's difficult to find a good one!


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## letter_to_dana (Jun 4, 2013)

Oh believe me I've tried lots of months to make him talk to me! ...to tell me what would make him happier in our relationship... He didn't say anything. I know communication is the key but i got tired of trying to initiate dialogue and having silence in return.
For him it was best not to talk about anything regarding our relationship, just exist and be "happy" together while he was dreaming about a totally different kind of woman (and that's not just an assumption based on my insecurities - he did told me at the beginning that he's gonna make me his ideal woman step by step but I didn't realize what he meant.
:dry:


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## JackParrish (May 5, 2012)

Promethea said:


> - not every person is a body fetishist
> - not every body fetishist is into the same thing
> - not every body fetishist places the same importance on the thing(s) they're into
> 
> ...



I get your points. Your main point is excellent--either they're into YOU or they are not. 

But to label males attracted to breasts as "fetishists" is not correct. It's just another way to create shame over biological sexuality. Every legitimate definition of fetish points to an "abnormal" sense of desire or gratification. If you take the human race in general, you will find that, on average, men (and many women) are attracted to breasts in one way or another. Genitals, too. Whether it should be this way or not is a different debate. It's a majority of humans be it ideal or flawed. 

That hardly makes it "abnormal". Any level of desire can be turned into a fetish, but not all desire is a fetish.


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## JackParrish (May 5, 2012)

letter_to_dana said:


> Oh believe me I've tried lots of months to make him talk to me! ...to tell me what would make him happier in our relationship... He didn't say anything. I know communication is the key but i got tired of trying to initiate dialogue and having silence in return.
> For him it was best not to talk about anything regarding our relationship, just exist and be "happy" together while he was dreaming about a totally different kind of woman (and that's not just an assumption based on my insecurities - he did told me at the beginning that he's gonna make me his ideal woman step by step but I didn't realize what he meant.
> :dry:


Sounds as if he needs to grow up, and you probably shouldn't be the sharpening stone for it. We all have things we need to change to be better people, better contributors to society, and better in relationships. But to have that drawn out by coercion within a close relationship is probably the most unhealthy way it can ever be undertaken, with very few exceptions.


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

Haydn said:


> Maybe you should just hang at big titty sites...period. Those should be far more fun.:happy:


I can't argue with that logic. :tongue:



> Behind that single research somewhere could be a small tittied female:laughing:. In my case, I just need to have my blouse brush lightly against my breast in daily life to experience intense stimulation. I can have an easy orgasm just through stimulation of the breast alone. The only time I have halfheartedly thought about a possible reduction is in the past when the constant unintentional stimulation became irritating and I thought that a reduction may have the side effect of reducing the near constant arousal. Believe me, I could stand to lose a few nerve ending from that area. That would not be worth it for me though and I have found a simpler way to deal with that issue now.


Oh, God. It kind of sounds like that awkward moment a guy has when he gets a massive erection and he tries to stop it, but it rubs against his pants and feels really good, but makes the situation so much worse. Especially when it grinds against the frenulum. It's the most conflicting feeling ever.



> Is you girlfriend highly sexual and feminine in general? Some women like small breasts because they think it is better for fashion and that it looks neater. Then you have the big breasted attention seekers who like to complain about none existent big breast problems. Your girlfriend could be one of those with a genuine problem though and she probably should consider better fitting bras or probably reduction surgery. I cannot personally identify with this big breast causing back pain problem myself however.


Sexual? More so than I am. Feminine? Not really.

She has a good fitting bra, so that's not the issue. It's when she doesn't have one on for an extended period of time that it hurts them.



> Well I admit it, I like my breasts a lot, I am practically attracted to myself lol, however, I really do not see this problem with small breasts at all. If I were a lesbian, I would probably go for enormously oversize or really small and perky maybe because I like extremes generally. To me, beautiful breasts come in all shapes and sizes and I hardly think most men even care that much about breast size when they are serious about a woman. I did wonder if it was the OP's own insecurities rather than anything that her ex said that really bothered her. I wish women would stop letting the media/other people decide how we must look to be desirable or to feel good about ourselves.


Agreed. Tits are awesome, no matter the size.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

JackParrish said:


> I get your points. Your main point is excellent--either they're into YOU or they are not.
> 
> But to label males attracted to breasts as "fetishists" is not correct. It's just another way to create shame over biological sexuality. Every legitimate definition of fetish points to an "abnormal" sense of desire or gratification. If you take the human race in general, you will find that, on average, men (and many women) are attracted to breasts in one way or another. Genitals, too. Whether it should be this way or not is a different debate. It's a majority of humans be it ideal or flawed.
> 
> That hardly makes it "abnormal". Any level of desire can be turned into a fetish, but not all desire is a fetish.



actually its not biological. tribes where womens breasts are always exposed, the mystique is taken away and those tribesmen do not see breasts as sexual, and they do not induce arousal.

if it was hard wired biology, that wouldn't happen.

its mystification-demystification -- breasts are made naughty in our culture and we aren't 'allowed' to see them, so flash one and people go nuts and get a boner over it.

not so in places where they routinely see, just some breasts.

you even have tons of men in our culture who "aren't breast men"
some say they like asses
others say they like faces..
some just like whatever fleshbag is a vessel for the personality.

again, if it was hard wired biology, all men would be breast men. they're not. some will say breasts, meh, don't do much for them..


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## Master Mind (Aug 15, 2011)

Promethea said:


> actually its not biological. tribes where womens breasts are always exposed, the mystique is taken away and those tribesmen do not see breasts as sexual, and they do not induce arousal.
> 
> if it was hard wired biology, that wouldn't happen.
> 
> ...


I've posted before about one tribe of people who laughed at the idea of the breasts being sexualized in Western culture when it was explained to them, because, to them, breasts were for babies.

People socialized in Western society exaggerate biology because they can't imagine anything different, and it's also in some people's interest to say it's biology, and thus they have no choice. But the evidence disproves this claim. As you said, if it were biological, then it would be true across cultures and among all peoples regardless where they are. It isn't. But oftentimes we in Western culture aren't aware of anything outside Western society and thus presume some things to be universal.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

Master Mind said:


> I've posted before about one tribe of people who laughed at the idea of the breasts being sexualized in Western culture when it was explained to them, because, to them, breasts were for babies.
> 
> People socialized in Western society exaggerate biology because they can't imagine anything different, and it's also in some people's interest to say it's biology, and thus they have no choice. But the evidence disproves this claim. As you said, if it were biological, then it would be true across cultures and among all peoples regardless where they are. It isn't. But oftentimes we in Western culture aren't aware of anything outside Western society and thus presume some things to be universal.


this is pretty much what i try to tell people about evolutionary biology/psychology -- glorification of what exists. basically, even all the things that have been socialized into us are accepted as these objective truths about 'human nature.' evo bio/psych does not consider hey, maybe this behaviour is in fact the product of socialization. it -assumes- that any behaviour that does in fact exist -must- have roots in biology, even though we see cultures around the world that have much different attitudes. 

here is one example i am very fond of, because its suuuch a contrast to the beauty standards of our own culture:
Forcefeeding in Mauritania - West Africa Fat Camp - Marie Claire

evolutionary biologists come up with a house of cards to explain why the cultural beauty standard is biologically superior, even though in the link i shared, its completely different in that culture. i could use a lot more words for this but thats the idea and you already get it, and those who don't will refuse to believe it no matter what i say. it seems more convenient to just say its a biological thing that they have no control over, than to accept that they have just passively bought into whatever garbage their culture and the church of science and alter of academia is peddling.

oh, one last point actually. the beauty standard example in particular has more to do with status than biology.


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## Dewymorning (Nov 24, 2012)

Promethea said:


> oh, one last point actually. the beauty standard example in particular has more to do with status than biology.


How true this is.

When most people had to work as hard labour outside, and only women from wealthy families could stay indoors all day, being pale was considered the ideal beauty.

However, after the industrial revolution many labourers were moved from the farm to the factory, where they lost that outdoor tan. The rich people on the other hand started were going off for beach holidays, and some of the women were coming back tanned, and then came the switch to being tanned was more desirable.

Really it was a matter of who was rich enough to have some control over their skin pigmentation.

I think a similar thing can be said with weight, in the past only the rich could afford to eat enough to get some fat on them. 

Now food is so cheap, anyone can afford to get fat...


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## JackParrish (May 5, 2012)

Promethea said:


> actually its not biological. tribes where womens breasts are always exposed, the mystique is taken away and those tribesmen do not see breasts as sexual, and they do not induce arousal.
> 
> if it was hard wired biology, that wouldn't happen.
> 
> ...



I have worked with bush tribes that did not cover their breasts. I can tell you, first hand, that while they are LESS sexualized, that does not make it "unsexual". Many in the tribe I lived with stayed nude at times, too, and yet genitals were still "sexual" in contexts. 

However, the point was "fetish", which implies abnormality to one degree or another. Go to any research you like and you will see that breast attraction--in both men and in women--is quite normal. Whether deeply rooted in biology or a matter of culture (you can go the nurture/nature debate and get lost forever), the point is that is certainly is not abnormal in the developed world to have breasts linked with sexuality and sexual attraction.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

JackParrish said:


> I have worked with bush tribes that did not cover their breasts. I can tell you, first hand, that while they are LESS sexualized, that does not make it "unsexual". Many in the tribe I lived with stayed nude at times, too, and yet genitals were still "sexual" in contexts.
> 
> However, the point was "fetish", which implies abnormality to one degree or another. Go to any research you like and you will see that breast attraction--in both men and in women--is quite normal. Whether deeply rooted in biology or a matter of culture (you can go the nurture/nature debate and get lost forever), the point is that is certainly is not abnormal in the developed world to have breasts linked with sexuality and sexual attraction.


completely certain i have read that they were not sexualized in those cases.

and fetish does not have to have a connotation that its 'abnormal' -- just that its in fact something that is sexualized, though sure there is some debate on whether or not its a fetish, i believe that it is, because many simply do not feel arousal upon seeing breasts.

"In clinical literature of the 19th century, the focus on breasts was considered a form of paraphillia, but in modern times this interest is considered normal." thats interesting. 

here is an article i found interesting, and i agree with most of it:



> The same way we discover that many things aren’t biologically-based. By learning about other cultures. And the breast fetish does not exist in them all.
> 
> Men and women both resist the claim until they’re reminded of tribal societies. We’ve all seen pictures from National Geographic. And we all know that among tribal people women’s breasts are no big deal.
> 
> ...


Men Aren


theres a link in it to the explanation of women and the breast fetish. makes no sense that theres a biological reason for heterosexual women to find breasts sexual -- that reeks of socialization. that, or all those hetero women who have learned to see breasts as sexual are closet **** or bisexuals.

the body is very much sexualized in this culture. you rarely see media without it, and i don't mean just bodies, but all the fancy fringe and poses to tag it 'sexual.' 



> Breast obsession and men
> 
> While nearly all US women are worried or even obsessed about their breast size and shape, some men have definite obsessions with female breasts are a source of sexual fantasy / turn-on. For these men, it is not just a general attraction to the whole female figure, or an appreciation of the various body parts, but a fetish, an extreme fixation or obsession. They get sexually inspired by looking at pictures with cleavage, where breasts are enticingly almost visible, yet hidden. While these men probably realize that this is happening, and feel they enjoy it, they are nevertheless "bound" by this behavior.
> 
> ...


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## L (Aug 12, 2011)

Is it weird that I don't like it when people say "breasts"? I much prefer boobies:tongue: 

No, but in all seriousness, I've found that I'm mainly attracted to women that aren't so well endowed boobie wise and that's just fine for me because men aren't humping air when they see these women. Even though that should mean more for me it somehow hasn't...

I think that part of my interest in the certain type of women I'm mainly attracted to is because I like to be active and women who are fairly skinny seem like they could be more active than bigger women. Or it could also just be justification... *shrugs* I don't care too much anymore anyways lol.

Oh! And one more thing... 
BOOBIES!!!!








Boobies everywhere!


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## perfectcircle (Jan 5, 2011)

Mr. Meepers said:


> I think Torai's list was not meant to be true for all women (everyone is different), for instance I believe many women with larger breasts may report back pain (which has been attributed to their breast weight), but that does not mean all women with large breasts will will ... Although, I imagine he may have been wrong about women's clothing lol
> 
> As far as what I quoted, I have heard this as well. From the Personality Cafe members that I have read/talked to about being able to orgasm via nipple stimulation (Not gonna lie, that is sexy), they were all women with smaller breasts (although, if you read the first post of the "I'm a woman, ask me anything" thread you will read about a woman who can orgasm with no physical stimulation so the orgasm from nipple stimulation may involve more mental reasons ... well emotionally stimulated sexy stuff is always better  ) ... The reasoning behind "why" is that if we assume that all breasts have about the same amount of pleasure nerves, then women with smaller breasts would have a higher density of nerves per area of the breasts and more nerve would be hit with every lick (and other "activities" that I don't need to mention :wink


I agree, I just think it depends. Some people like the body they have, others don't. Not all people with big boobs have back pain, others do. Some sag, some don't, some are ok with it, others not. Some wish their boobs were smaller, some wish they were bigger, some feel they're fine the way they are.


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## perfectcircle (Jan 5, 2011)

Promethea said:


> actually its not biological. tribes where womens breasts are always exposed, the mystique is taken away and those tribesmen do not see breasts as sexual, and they do not induce arousal.
> 
> if it was hard wired biology, that wouldn't happen.
> 
> ...


Well they may not induce arousal simply by seeing a breast, but when you're sexually attracted to a person, anything about them can be arousing, so I would hesitate to say breasts can't be sexually arousing or attractive naturally. When I like a guy even his knuckles can be sexual or attractive to me, or even if it's a guy I don't like, his male-ness of his bony big wrists or whatever could just scream "omg the testosterone on this guy", despite that not being 'taught' to me. I wasn't taught anything about breasts as a child via media or culture but I still remember flashes of aroused interest regarding them. 

While those cultures who are used to breasts don't fetishize them, which I think is great, there is probably still some level of interest in them, just not as some big secret end-all-be-all thing. As for translating meanings to those tribes, just because they think breasts are just for babies (and let's not underestimate the complexity of communicating to tribes with different languages and cultures and taking one assertion to be indicative of everything they think or feel), doesn't mean that's necessarily the natural or inherent state either, just a reflection of their culture or how they've been taught to see breasts.. perhaps they are the unusual ones or the ones who've been socialized to see breasts a certain way? I don't think we can say what is sexually normal or inherent, just what something is relative to something else. A woman with large shapely breasts in those cultures still probably gets some attention for them, at least when she is having sex with someone, probably, and if not, saying her breasts are purely functional not sexual may be unfortunate or an untrue social generalization in another way because a woman can derive sexual pleasure from her breasts.

@Master Mind
Can we prove that something must be across all cultures to be biological? Perhaps it is biological instead to respond to a variety of stimuli depending on our culture & be flexible? Perhaps biology isn't a set point or state but a tendency that can be spread due to environmental factors towards or away from certain stimuli? Perhaps the "mid-point" is breasts are somewhat attractive or indicative of sexual age/appeal, but our culture emphasizes that too much and other cultures may emphasize it less to hardly any?


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## Destiny Lund (Sep 2, 2011)

Yea, he shouldn't have even joked around about doing something with your boob size. If that role were reversed about his penis, I don't think he'd find it very funny. According to studies I've looked through, when it comes to natural breasts, the average breast size was 34B a couple decades ago. Only recently with the increase of overweight Americans has the average natural breast size turned to 36C. Breasts have grown in size, bodies have grown in size, breast cancer has grown, along with other severe illnesses over the course of the modern world. Coincidence? We are what we eat, don't get me started on the awful toxic things that make up most of the food in grocery stores that we accept into our bodies. When my husband & I first got together in school, my boobs were a size B. I was self-conscious about them(I wanted a C) & he assured me that it didn't matter cause he actually liked smaller boobs. He wasn't just being nice, when I turned into an adult, I bloomed late into a size C & he kept telling me that he hoped my boobs wouldn't get bigger. I assured him they were doing growing, LOL! I knew a few guys in my Auto Tech class that preferred small boobs. There are guys that like big boobs, guys that like small boobs, & guys that really don't care much either way.


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## Destiny Lund (Sep 2, 2011)

Promethea said:


> actually its not biological. tribes where womens breasts are always exposed, the mystique is taken away and those tribesmen do not see breasts as sexual, and they do not induce arousal.
> 
> if it was hard wired biology, that wouldn't happen.
> 
> ...



Haha, yea, I definitely agree with the 2nd part. My husband gets turned on by my boobs, but he's more of an ass man he says & it's true. Our best friend is a legs man.


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## AiyokuSama (Jul 2, 2013)

JackParrish said:


> But to label males attracted to breasts as "fetishists" is not correct. It's just another way to create shame over biological sexuality. Every legitimate definition of fetish points to an "abnormal" sense of desire or gratification


Abnormal doesn't mean "bad" or "wrong" despite what others might try and guilt you into believing. It just means outside of the norm. And that "norm" is going to change with the time and culture involved. So someone, somewhere is going to be "abnormal" according to someone else's standard. It's certainly not a reason to feel shame and if someone does, then they have far deeper issues than referring to a liking of boobies as a fetish, which it is, by definition, since fascination over one body part above the whole is outside of the socially constructed norm.

If people are getting hung up on being outside of the norm, I would have to ask why being normal is important them.


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## firedell (Aug 5, 2009)

When I was a B Cup, and I still had men attracted to me. Now, that I have aged and become more "womanly" and a C Cup, there is no difference in the amount of attraction to me. Maybe it's because I cover them and don't really point attention to them. Not on purpose, my clothing just seems to to do. 

If a man cares about the size of your boobs and you are in a relationship and he jokingly or not says he wishes they were bigger, then obviously to me he is probably in it for just the sex?


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## JackParrish (May 5, 2012)

AiyokuSama said:


> Abnormal doesn't mean "bad" or "wrong" despite what others might try and guilt you into believing. It just means outside of the norm. And that "norm" is going to change with the time and culture involved. So someone, somewhere is going to be "abnormal" according to someone else's standard. It's certainly not a reason to feel shame and if someone does, then they have far deeper issues than referring to a liking of boobies as a fetish, which it is, by definition, since fascination over one body part above the whole is outside of the socially constructed norm.
> 
> If people are getting hung up on being outside of the norm, I would have to ask why being normal is important them.



But now we're arguing different things. If breast attraction is generally normal--regardless of if nurture/nature, and regardless of if it is the ideal state of humanity or not--then it is not "abnormal". And thus, the term fetish becomes more a term of agenda than of accuracy. 

The use of the term lais bare an agenda. Nothing wrong with agendas, per se, but I'm the sort of person that prefers to identify them and make them explicit up front.


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## AiyokuSama (Jul 2, 2013)

firedell said:


> When I was a B Cup, and I still had men attracted to me. Now, that I have aged and become more "womanly" and a C Cup, there is no difference in the amount of attraction to me. Maybe it's because I cover them and don't really point attention to them. Not on purpose, my clothing just seems to to do


I wonder if it has less to do with what a woman has then how she presents it and her own attitude about it.

My father is a "boob man". I know this because he freely admits it. One of our family stories is that the only reason I exist is cause mom (who was a C at the time) wore a fitted brown velveteen pant suit that made her bust HUGE. But the thing is that mom OOZED self-confidence. 

By comparison, dad's current girlfriend has almost no bust. Yet she also has noticeable self-confidence. And there have been no issues about bust size.


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## AiyokuSama (Jul 2, 2013)

JackParrish said:


> But now we're arguing different things. If breast attraction is generally normal


To you maybe. To me, attraction to hands is normal. "normal" is in the eye of the beholder. 



JackParrish said:


> The use of the term lais bare an agenda.


You think it does. And I'm curious why you'd make such a leap. Are YOU ashamed of your fetishes? I'm not.

I am happy to use the term because I'm part of that community. Fetish is a descriptive word, not a bad word.


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## JackParrish (May 5, 2012)

AiyokuSama said:


> To you maybe. To me, attraction to hands is normal. "normal" is in the eye of the beholder.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I didn't mean normal in a case by case, anecdotal basis. I thought I had said earlier, and forgive me for being unclear, that I meant "as seen statistically throughout the general population". There are patterns of natural sexual interests in our world, and breasts are some part of that. 

Let's say that our society, over generations, came to see erotic significance in nostrils. And it wasn't just a fad, but over generations, nostrils became sexually associated for the population in general. At that point, right or wrong, nostril eroticism would be the "normal".

Regarding the term, it has nothing to do with wrongness or shame. I feel no such thing. It's about laying bare the assumptions in the conversation. Being a "part of that community" shows the agenda. Maybe the agenda is wonderful and benign. Maybe it's trying to push something darker. Great. The point is being honest about it. 

Define the terms however you like, but if you want the broad understanding of Fetish (as defined and used by most sources, and also in academic study) you'll see that it suggests a sense of abnormality. I have a hard time taking what is, generally in the population, a part of attraction and eroticism and attempting to make people feel abnormal for it. I don't believe it fosters either honesty in the conversation. And while the term can certainly be used in a playful or positive way, it can also be wielded (and often is) in a way that creates shame over very common and normal sexuality. Branding it as a "fetish" shows an agenda and a priority system, making something more legitimate, normal, or important by contrast.

Further, in the vast majority of the common world, the term fetish is associated with paraphilia, which begins to suggest sexual disorder. 

And to link, in any way, attraction to breasts with sexual disorder is clearly an agenda play.


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## noname123 (May 7, 2013)

Personally it comes down more to _how_ they look instead of size. Incidentally the last two girls I've been with both had a beautiful full C

It's a definite preference and can make a girl look superior and special (in my eyes).._and then after all those things she has like totally perfect boobs... _also because it is so rare. I remember when the cousin of a ''friend'' asked what my gf has that makes her so special and that for instance her cousin didn't have. I turned my head up as to whistle in the air and made a boob gesture with my hands. Then adjusted to even bigger.

It can totally make you adore a girl that extra bit.

To put in perspective,think of a male body in the likes of Francisco Lachowski with and then think of something like Nick Auger or Steve Reeves.


But then again it's all personal preference..other ppl are more gay than myself(not referring to the males mentioned above)and might actually dig small ones 

Btw I could/would never wanna be with someone in a serious relationship getting off on that kind women. For all the obvious reasons. I'd probably play pranks on him,hire him an elderly prostitute..just troll the living hell out of him. 
Btw OP,is that you on your avatar?


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## AiyokuSama (Jul 2, 2013)

JackParrish said:


> I didn't mean normal in a case by case, anecdotal basis.


Anything else is something you're going to have to provide support for. After all, it's your claim. Do you have some studies you'd like to cite? But even if you do prove such, you'd still be missing the point.



JackParrish said:


> There are patterns of natural sexual interests in our world, and breasts are some part of that.


Does this mean you think fetishes are UNnatural? Because they aren't.



JackParrish said:


> Regarding the term, it has nothing to do with wrongness or shame.


According to you it does, since there wouldn't be a point in your bring up the shame aspect otherwise. OR accusing anyone of having an agenda.



JackParrish said:


> I feel no such thing.


Then why use so much loaded language? Such as what is "natural" or suggesting that those calling something a fetish are trying to shame others?



JackParrish said:


> It's about laying bare the assumptions in the conversation.


Then by all means, stop doing so.



JackParrish said:


> Being a "part of that community" shows the agenda.


*laughs* Uh huh. And what IS that agenda? Do tell, I'm all ears.

Hint, I was providing context, not pushing any agenda.



JackParrish said:


> Define the terms however you like, but if you want the broad understanding of Fetish (as defined and used by most sources, and also in academic study) you'll see that it suggests a sense of abnormality.


No kidding. I already acknowledged that. I ALSO pointed out that abnormal doesn't make something bad, shameful, negative or whatever other "dark spin" you want to put on it. Something you seem to be ignoring.



JackParrish said:


> I don't believe it fosters either honesty in the conversation.


I think it's it extremely honest, especially when used by those owning their feelings and stating their attractions.



JackParrish said:


> Further, in the vast majority of the common world, the term fetish is associated with paraphilia, which begins to suggest sexual disorder.


You're kidding, right? You DO realize how broad that category is, yes? Not everything it is a "sexual disorder". Never mind that the desire for vanilla sex can be a sexual disorder if it's excessive/harmful.

Again, it's your biases that are showing here.



JackParrish said:


> And to link, in any way, attraction to breasts with sexual disorder is clearly an agenda play.


The only one linking an attraction to breasts with a sexual disorder is you. So I have to wonder what is YOUR agenda? And I'm still getting the feeling that you're ashamed of the attraction to breasts. That or your looking for a reason to feel offended.


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## Mr. Meepers (May 31, 2012)

Haydn said:


> Yes, I know that some women with large breasts do suffer from back pain but I maintain that most women with large breasts usually have figures that can support them without pain. Look around you at women with naturally large breast, you may find that they usually have an inverted triangle or hour glass shape with slightly wider shoulders. I can't really generalize from people I know personally but nearly all the women in my family are hour glass shaped with huge breasts and none of them suffer even the slightest from back pain.
> 
> I am currently using a computer where it would not be appropriate to comment much about the stimulation issue except to say that larger breasts do tend to also have more nerve endings and greater surface area. I am pretty damn sure this reduced stimulation thing was a horribly untrue rumor dream up by some small breasted woman who was not satisfied with herself. I will probably post another comment from somewhere else about this later.


I can't say I've usually noticed those shapes with heavier women shocked: Does think mean I need to stare at checkout observe more woman? >) ... But I am glad you don't have back pain ^__^

Oh, I hope you are eventually on a computer where it is appropriate :wink::tongue:
Why would greater surface area add to stimulation?
Hmmm, I don't think it is fair to say that it must be a rumor dreamed up by only one person and it was spread because they were so insecure. As I said before, it could have been drawn up because of talking to other people's experiences and/or the reasoning I said before (faulty reasoning or not, it is a hypothesis with an explanation).




adverseaffects said:


> I agree, I just think it depends. Some people like the body they have, others don't. Not all people with big boobs have back pain, others do. Some sag, some don't, some are ok with it, others not. Some wish their boobs were smaller, some wish they were bigger, some feel they're fine the way they are.


Yup, but I do wish everyone could love their bodies just as they are  
Or, to related to boobs: Big, small, real, "fake" (I think people are too hard on people who had had breast implants. I mean, even if it was done out of insecurity, what if it done years ago and they no longer have that body insecurity? If, since then, they learned to love themselves, then why should it matter?), and all other kinds of boobs are awesome .... Boobs are just fantastic (said by someone attracted to women ... more specifically a boobmanagendered person)




Kanerou said:


> I'm fairly large, and I have no back pain. I will say, however, that finding button up shirts is a real bitch. I have a small ribcage (32-33" band), and if the shirt accommodates my breasts, it's too big in the shoulders. Finding bras that fit is also a major pain. There are no stores here that carry the sizes I would need (that I am aware of), and even if I did find one that fit, they're usually expensive.
> 
> I don't get any noticeable attention with mine, but I think most of what I wear conceals their size anyway.


I'm glad you don't have back pain ^__^ (but I can say that I've read that larger breasts are linked to back pain, doesn't mean every woman with large breasts will have it, just means that, statistically speaking, they are more likely to have back pain than smaller breasted women ... that does not even mean they are likely to have back pain).
Button up shirts? I prefer unbutton down shirts :wink::tongue: //jk
Seriously, I feel almost the same way, but with pants. Well, probably not to the same extent as you feel with bras and shirts though (since men's pants are not form fitting) ... but I hate trying on (long) pants at the store because so many of them that fit my waist may not fit my butt or my thighs (Hey, I'm pretty sure my legs are muscular , they were thick even when I was very athletic in hs) and I end up feeling like I am performing in a Christmas Ballet (The Nutcracker <-----sometimes many times I like to be obvious/explicit ). So I hang on to pants that actually fit. ... Basically I hate pants lol (although oddly enough shorts are a bit easier, I think, so I'm pretty okay with them, for now)



Well I'm glad you don't get noticeable attention from them (assuming you don't want noticeable attention ... hey, everyone is different and many want different things). You probably get more attention from stupid people on the internet that read you have big breasts and then want to give you more attention *looks in mirror, suddenly realizing something :blushed:, and runs away* (incase you are wondering ... yes, I called myself stupid)


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## AiyokuSama (Jul 2, 2013)

JackParrish said:


> Now we're getting somewhere.
> 
> 1. More importantly than it should not be "called" a fetish, I have suggested that associating breasts with sexuality and eroticism is NOT a fetish, but instead is a part of what is falls under normal and healthy patterns of human sexuality.


There you go again, implying that fetishs aren't healthy. And still not giving actual citations. Because guess what, I'm NOT going to read a book to try and figure out what's in it YOU think supports YOUR claims. Do your own homework.



JackParrish said:


> As for fetish definitions, here are just a few:
> *Websters: *b* *:* an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion
> * c* *:* an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression



You CAN have C without B and it's still a fetish. Oh and did you not the word MAY in that definition? MAY doesn't not equal WILL. It just denotes a possibility.




JackParrish said:


> 2. Therefore, generally associating breasts with sexuality or eroticism is not a fetish, either in the precise definition of the term or in the philosophical trajectory of selecting that term over simply saying "attraction", or another common term sexual arousal.


You just posted the definition. Anyone that fixates on for the purpose of sexual gratification HAS a fetish regarding breasts. Funny how you think the definition only applies when it supports what YOU want.



JackParrish said:


> 3. What would make someone choose the term "fetish" over other, more common and accepted terms?


It's appropriate. It denotes we are talking about a SPECIFIC thing is the focus of sexual interest.

But if you want to keep talking about agendas, you really need to actually state WHA it is, otherwise you continue to make yourself look desperate continuing with the same smokescreen tactic.



JackParrish said:


> Among the reasons NOT to call it a fetish is not JUST that it can be used to imply abnormality or shame, but also simply that it is incorrect and imprecise.


That's a terrible reason, since it implies something that is in no way involved unless the other person specafies such a thing. And so far you're the ONLY one to have done so, no one else.


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## JackParrish (May 5, 2012)

AiyokuSama said:


> There


Sadly, our discussion has fallen apart. I wish you well. My points have been made clearly, so there's not much sense continuing to go around as it seems our underlying motivations are quite different, creating an impasse that neither logic nor reason can bridge. 

Outside observers can use whatever points they like to inform their own points of view.


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## AiyokuSama (Jul 2, 2013)

JackParrish said:


> Sadly, our discussion has fallen apart.


And there you go projecting again. Please stop trying to speak for me.

The only thing that has fallen apart is your apparent ability/willingness to engage in substantive discussion of the points made to you. I'm still here, still willing to engage in discussion, though that can only happen when the other person acknowledges and addresses the points made. The discussion is doing just fine on my side.

If you want to stop, by all means, that's your call but do not tell me what *I* am capable of.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

Fantasies & porn affect relationships. It's funny how I have yet to hear one woman relate something like the OP's experience and NOT include a reference to her partner's porn habit. 

The thing with beauty ideals is, if your partner doesn't 100% meet yours (odds are, they do not), then keep your mouth shut. What could possibly be a good, unselfish motive for making negative comments about their body, even in joke form? How is that loving, and why do you want to tear someone down you supposedly care for? If a partner does that to you & you're not long-term committed &/or it's not resolvable - RED FLAG. 

An exception may be a health issue, but even then, be supportive, not critical or mocking.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

Torai said:


> To be dead honest, I can understand it. In a world where a lot of guys will opine preferences for bigger and larger breasts, there's this kind of raincloud over women with small breasts because they'll never have Pamela Anderson tits. I mean, the way a lot of big-breasted women feel when small-breasted women put them down, a lot of small breasted women feel on a regular basis when the media tells them bigger is better.
> 
> A lot of them want some sort of reassurance that they're attractive as they are. Not only attractive, but stunning. And with everyone saying all these perks about big boobs very much to the dismissal of small breasts, small breasted women want to feel somewhat special instead of standard-issue. And to feel special, you have to have perks that others don't have.


This is really a major point, IMO. 

No one wants to hear "your X trait (in this case boobs) will be OVERLOOKED, so it's okay". This is not much different from fat women being told they can STILL be attractive. There's this whole "IN SPITE OF" attached to it all. Whether realistic or not, people want to be attractive BECAUSE of how they look (in part of course - not ONLY, without any reason being their inner person), not IN SPITE of it. Everyone wants to be desirable & attractive & greatly PREFERRED by their partner in particular. 

And to have it insinuated that smaller breasts and thin bodies are less feminine goes beyond an attraction issue; it can be experienced as an attack on identity even. That's why the whole "real woman" phrasing stirs up anger in those not deemed "real women". There's some outing of them from the female category that is alienating and demeaning. Some women with small boobs say, "I don't feel like a woman!" - that's sad to me. Being a woman is having big boobs?!

So small-breasted women don't really want to hear "men don't care about boobs that much" or "you can be attractive with small boobs because it's not about the boobs" or "I'd prefer bigger ones, but if I really like a girl then I don't care"; I think they'd rather hear "some men PREFER small boobs". 

Some of this is people getting over not being an ideal & some of it is people getting over their ideals - not being so narrow in their own preferences or not being overly influenced by their culture. 

------

As a side, there is also so much vagueness in terminology. Large to some is huge to another, small means flat to some & to others its a modest handful, etc. Even cup size means nothing without band size, and men often have no clue about bra sizes, and neither do many women. Plus size itself says nothing about the bare breast, as volume & shape can be altered a lot with a bra. 

For example, I've noticed most women consider me smaller chested than most men. This has illustrated to me how differences in perception & vocabulary make, well, a difference!


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## will-o'-wisp (Feb 11, 2013)

When you think about it, it's quite strange that anyone should be so fixated on mammary glands isn't it? Glands.


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

OrangeAppled said:


> Everyone wants to be desirable & attractive & greatly PREFERRED by their partner in particular.


That's would be impossible for a woman to feel that way with me, because I have no 'type'... 

Maybe I have to start lying.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

strangestdude said:


> That's what be impossible for a woman to feel that way with me, because I have no 'type'...
> 
> Maybe I have to start lying.


Not really...if you have no ideal preference, then that person IS your preference as you've chosen to be with them above others without there being some "consolation prize" attitude. There's actually less of a "in spite of" aspect because there's no physical ideal they're being compared to. They're not falling short of anything.

I think this is a healthier attitude sometimes, as no one will ever get 100% their ideal partner, in anyway. It's better when the partner becomes the ideal (so to speak; not talking about putting people on pedestals either). 

I have a range of taste which includes a variety of races & builds & facial features, etc, but I admit I have some patterns & vague ideals, similar to what @fourtines described. I could conjure up an ideal image & describe it specifically, but in reality too many different looking people have appealed to me too greatly to say I'd be disappointed with them to any degree simply because they were not my "ideal". 

I'd like to think MORE people work this way than those who do not....


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

OrangeAppled said:


> Fantasies & porn affect relationships. It's funny how I have yet to hear one woman relate something like the OP's experience and NOT include a reference to her partner's porn habit.
> 
> The thing with beauty ideals is, if your partner does 100% meet yours (odds are, they do not), then keep your mouth shut. What could possibly be a good, unselfish motive for making negative comments about their body, even in joke form? How is that loving, and why do you want to tear someone down you supposedly care for? If a partner does that to you & you're not long-term committed &/or it's not resolvable - RED FLAG.
> 
> An exception may be a health issue, but even then, be supportive, not critical or mocking.


I never got people who do this. I always think a partner is the worst person you can be critical to about their body. These are the people who are the most vulnerable around you and really care what you think about them. What message is that sending other than, "You're not adequate for me"? That's the worst feeling to shake off. It always creeps inside your head, "What if he finds someone with bigger breasts or a slimmer body who's attracted to him? Will he cheat on me, leave me, or resent me?" or for guys, "What if she finds someone with a bigger penis or a chiseled body who's attracted to her? Will she cheat on me, leave me, or resent me?"



> No one wants to hear "your X trait (in this case boobs) will be OVERLOOKED, so it's okay". This is not much different from fat women being told they can STILL be attractive. There's this whole "IN SPITE OF" attached to it all. Whether realistic or not, people want to be attractive BECAUSE of how they look (in part of course - not ONLY, without any reason being their inner person), not IN SPITE of it. Everyone wants to be desirable & attractive & greatly PREFERRED by their partner in particular.
> 
> And to have it insinuated that smaller breasts and thin bodies are less feminine goes beyond an attraction issue; it can be experienced as an attack on identity even. That's why the whole "real woman" phrasing stirs up anger in those not deemed "real women". There's some outing of them from the female category that is alienating and demeaning. Some women with small boobs say, "I don't feel like a woman!" - that's sad to me. Being a woman is having big boobs?!
> 
> So small-breasted women don't really want to hear "men don't care about boobs that much" or "you can be attractive with small boobs because it's not about the boobs" or "I'd prefer bigger ones, but if I really like a girl then I don't care"; I think they'd rather hear "some men PREFER small boobs".


I've always hated the real woman/real man thing. The only thing that should dictate gender is the person themselves.

There are people with very different preferences of what a man or a woman looks like. I, for instance, have a preference for stockier builds and bigger breasts. Does that mean that the women with a skinnier build or smaller breasts are objectively less attractive, or less real women? Nope. It's just how I as an individual prefer things.

In fact, my brother has a preference the other way. He very much prefers smaller breasts to larger ones. He's told me this, and I've seen it in practice. The women he dates have nearly always been of that build. 

It always made me wonder why beauty has to be so complicated. What happened to the awesome idea of, "I find you attractive, you find me attractive, let's date"? Why should there be such a giant social pressure for people to conform to standards that are so unrealistic that the models setting them can't even conform to them?


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## ColorsWolf (Nov 13, 2013)

I theorize that many people's including my own attraction to breasts of any kind often has some thing to do never being breast-fed, I'm told I was never breast-fed, so speaking for myself: I think I have a un-fullfilled NEED to drink milk from a Human Female's Breasts and I hope to meet some one day who will be kind enough to let me FINALLY do full-fill that need.~

I believe this most likely is an effect of corporations pushing "baby-milk-formula" over breast-feeding, it hasn't been that long since doctors have announced that breast-feeding is actually healthier.~

It's not a sexual thing for me, it's a maternal thing for me, I mean how could it biologically speaking have any thing to do with conceiving a child?~ The purpose of the breasts are supposedly to feed the already born young after birth, they serve no purpose during coitus.~

Yet many societies that have some form of or traces left over of religious oppression have mutated into a bizarre culmination of self-hatred and destruction that simultaneously glorifies sexual activities and violence yet condemning every thing it means to be Human or alive for that matter, including freedom and expression of thought.~

I was raised in a psychologically-confused and illogical society, like many of Humanity sadly, so I have many issues as a result of that: thankfully to myself, I have managed to un-learn most of them, the rest I am working towards un-learning completely.~


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

ColorsWolf said:


> I theorize that many people's including my own attraction to breasts of any kind often has some thing to do never being breast-fed, I'm told I was never breast-fed, so speaking for myself: I think I have a un-fullfilled NEED to drink milk from a Human Female's Breasts and I hope to meet some one day who will be kind enough to let me FINALLY do full-fill that need.~
> 
> I believe this most likely is an effect of corporations pushing "baby-milk-formula" over breast-feeding, it hasn't been that long since doctors have announced that breast-feeding is actually healthier.~
> 
> ...


Because that's what they're designed for? 


Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710e using Tapatalk


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## Villainous (Dec 31, 2012)

letter_to_dana said:


> Ummm ok. I have a pretty dumb question for you guys... and yes i mean GUYS.
> So one of my ex boyfriends was sooo into big boobs. But like HUGE! And i'm really far away from that. I'm also very skinny. At the beginning of our relationship he told me he didn't care about big boobs or big asses. BUT after a while he kept telling me how he thinks I should do something about my boobs (as a joke) and I discovered on his browser history lots of porn links with milf womens... I was hurt. I asked him why he lied to me and he told me that his fantasies don't have anything to do with me.
> Even now I really don't think that's true.
> So... my question is this: If you like big boobs and your girlfriend doesn't have them what do you do? And also, do you really think fantasies don't affect your relationship (in case you can't turn them into reality)? I'm a bit confused and curious about other oppinions.


Fantasies have nothing to do with you. Humans are sexual creatures and with the way our culture shames and restricts sexuality, it's normal to fantasize. Porn has nothing to do with you either. They're all different parts of the complex sexuality of humans. Everyone has fantasies. You do too. 

Stop being insecure. Start making fun of how small your boobs are and get over it


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## Philosophaser Song Boy (Jan 16, 2011)

You know, boobs are great, big or small. If I were inclined to a preference, I would choose the ones that were willing to be shared with me. Fixating on specifics may be a disadvantage in this circumstance, but it's also important to be a real person and understand your entire perspective about where you are in your life, who you interact with and what it means, and how you go about making decisions off of these realizations. 

He could just be missing this point. Too fixated and distracted from the reality of his current situation. You know, when you call a child from a game or tv show, and they do not immediately pull away from the entertainment factor. Everybody is an individual, though, and to expect us all to run under a same program 100% of the time is outrageous and unreal.


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## stargazing grasshopper (Oct 25, 2013)

letter_to_dana said:


> Ummm ok. I have a pretty dumb question for you guys... and yes i mean GUYS.
> So one of my ex boyfriends was sooo into big boobs. But like HUGE! And i'm really far away from that. I'm also very skinny. At the beginning of our relationship he told me he didn't care about big boobs or big asses. BUT after a while he kept telling me how he thinks I should do something about my boobs (as a joke) and I discovered on his browser history lots of porn links with milf womens... I was hurt. I asked him why he lied to me and he told me that his fantasies don't have anything to do with me.
> Even now I really don't think that's true.
> So... my question is this: If you like big boobs and your girlfriend doesn't have them what do you do? And also, do you really think fantasies don't affect your relationship (in case you can't turn them into reality)? I'm a bit confused and curious about other oppinions.


Tell him that you prefer big dick & that you'll agree to "do something" regarding your average breasts if he does something regarding his little dick.
Allow him to experience the same feelings of inadequacy that he's attempting to lay upon you, kinda give him a glimpse of the situation from what I'm assuming is your perspective. 
Then tell him to F--K off & that you're not really into superficial porn addicts. You can do far better that a punk jackass infatuated with big breasts.


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## stargazing grasshopper (Oct 25, 2013)

Imverypunny said:


> It's not personal. He just needs to get his rocks off with his fantasy porn. Seriously its just how guys are wired.


Speak for yourself mister, that's not how healthy guys are wired. I've watched a little bit of porn & consider fake breasts to be a turnoff.
I'd suggest "his" alleged behavior is more likely the result of being a porn addict that's bored with a real woman.


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Because that's what they're designed for?


You realize conception is the period of pregnancy where the sperm meets the egg, right?


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## X X (Nov 29, 2012)

It all comes down to the 3 different body types humans have genetically; mesomorph, endomorph, and ectomorph. 


Most of the girls I've dated happened to have been taller and slender (not by cherry picking). It provides a very elegant look. Girls are supposed to be smaller either in height or size compared to guys so it still looks very feminine. 

Women that are more volumptious look stacked, sexy, and very feminine. Just like with anything thats bigger on anyone's body itll attract more attention. 

Women that are in between they can have something going for them that makes it seem more special, and just have a good win balance overall. 


Either way everybody wins, and they all have things the others dont. To someone who's mature body type shouldnt matter as long as the person's healthy. 


Plus when it comes to boobs specifically I always said its not size that matters but shape.


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## Emerald Legend (Jul 13, 2010)

tsk tsk..how dare vile men like boobs when they're clearly designed for nurturing babies. Those stupid men..always thinking some things exist only for them. How dare they're choosy about small perky boobs, and fantasize about big ones..especially when it can make the owner of small perky boobies feel insecure. How dare they chit on other people's well being and not care and be selfish? Ughh..:frustrating:


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

stargazing grasshopper said:


> Speak for yourself mister, that's not how healthy guys are wired. I've watched a little bit of porn & consider fake breasts to be a turnoff.
> I'd suggest "his" alleged behavior is more likely the result of being a porn addict that's bored with a real woman.
> 
> She ought to dump his ass asap & seek an honest man that'll love her for who she is rather than the image he'd prefer she mutilate her body to become.


Physical preferences are perfectly normal and fine, and most people have them to some degree. Even when it comes to breast size. You even said yourself that you consider fake breasts to be a turn-off. That's a physical preference.

What's abnormal would be his glib putting down of his girlfriend's appearance because it doesn't fit his ideal.


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## FallingSlowly (Jul 1, 2013)

@android654 @WillyT

I actually totally agree with both of you with regards to personal preferences. I'm not one to get my knickers in a twist about guys (or girls) preferring bigger or smaller boobs, not caring at all, caring too much. Lid for every pot etc.

It's just that this cup discussion comes up so often, and it's a bit like saying: "Size M underpants are the divide between a big and a small dick."

I wear a C cup for instance. The guys who go: "I love big boobs, it has to be at least a C for me," will most likely do this when they see me:








:tongue:

I guess what I'm trying to say is: Like what you like, but do away with: "small boobs < arbitrary cup size < big boobs", because it really doesn't hold true.


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

FallingSlowly said:


> @_android654_ @_WillyT_
> 
> I actually totally agree with both of you with regards to personal preferences. I'm not one to get my knickers in a twist about guys (or girls) preferring bigger or smaller boobs, not caring at all, caring too much. Lid for every pot etc.
> 
> It's just that this cup discussion comes up so often, and it's a bit like saying: "Size M underpants are the divide between a big and a small dick."


There could be a correlation for athletic cups, though. I don't think sizing there relies entirely on waistband length. But its been a long time since I wore a cup so I can't really remember the sizing on those things.



> I wear a C cup for instance. The guys who go: "I love big boobs, it has to be at least a C for me," will most likely do this when they see me:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


LOL. But doesn't this kind of reinforce my original position.



> I guess what I'm trying to say is: Like what you like, but do away with: "small boobs < arbitrary cup size < big boobs", because it really doesn't hold true.


You're right, I submit to you on that. I've been around nothing but women my whole life so I know what a bitch it is for most of them to figure out sizing on underwear and almost never get it right. There's also a point to body frame which you touched on earlier. I'm just not as attracted to women with bigger frames as I am to ones that are more wiry, and there seems to be a pattern, at least in my experience, between frame and bust.


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## FallingSlowly (Jul 1, 2013)

android654 said:


> LOL. But doesn't this kind of reinforce my original position.


Depends which way round you choose to look through the binoculars I guess 



> You're right, I submit to you on that. I've been around nothing but women my whole life so I know what a bitch it is for most of them to figure out sizing on underwear and almost never get it right. There's also a point to body frame which you touched on earlier. I'm just not as attracted to women with bigger frames as I am to ones that are more wiry, and there seems to be a pattern, at least in my experience, between frame and bust.


Yes, I guess there might be a pattern related to frame if you look at "bone structure" (I don't think it's so much height or weight alone). Weight distribution is also different in different girls - I'm not really sure if that's related to frame though, interesting question. My mother had the same body frame, but her weight distribution was totally different.

The whole subject of body frame is really the worst, in all clothing-related matters. I am rather tall, but have a small frame. Nothing fits. Normal sizes are usually too short everywhere, tall sizes are okay length-wise, but seem to assume that you must be really weirdly shaped just because you're tall. Bra sizes are also a joke, because you can buy two bras of the same size, and they're nothing alike - one hangs off you, the other creates spillage (aka four boobs ). It's all good and well if we're always told to get a bra fitting (which makes sense), but if vanity sizing goes crazy everywhere, it still doesn't help all that much...

Anyhoo, off topic: Boobs!


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## Aquamarine (Jul 24, 2011)

I'm sorry about that, but people will always have fantasies, and fortunately he isn't cheating on you with an MILF just because you don't have big boobs. Porn is a safer way to release one's fantasies if one's partner doesn't have the characteristics of their fetish. He told you that it doesn't matter because he doesn't want you to feel hurt about it, but at the same time it's hard to suppress one's fantasies.

As a pansexual, I do find big boobs attractive as well. It shouldn't affect the relationship and sexual love life with him, but if you feel hurt about it, you have to let him know. Perhaps he can get a sex toy as an alternative instead of looking at porn?


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## Nightchill (Oct 19, 2013)

FreeBeer said:


> We aren't reducing women to breasts or noses and as we mentioned here often preferences differ from person to person. One can't really reduce attraction to a single body part or personality alone...that is simplifying things, which are far more complex.


Of course, but too much is too much. To drool like a dog for a bone when shown tits, which appears to be the case with the group we're talking about. 

If I were in the OP's shoes I'd leave the man, I wouldn't want to worry and guess if sb with such strong preference for something I don't have will be able to keep it in his pants.

I guess you can call it a mechanism of evolution, when women desire men with more advanced modern layers. Also it's immediately practical, it decreases the likelihood of him cheating.


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## witzig_panther (Jan 4, 2014)

@OP: 

Boobs are indeed fascinating sexual parts of a female anatomy. However, a lot of it has to do with the element of mystery and freshness. What I mean by this is that boobs have innate value to them. If all the females would leave their boobs hanging around for everyone to see, they won't be as attractive as they seem. An example would be the tribes in Africa where men aren't particularly aroused by topless women. If I don't stand corrected, the European culture/s where the sexes are sexually more liberated, nudity isn't as striking of an issue as it is in United States. Coming from a very conservative society and knowing several people who have stayed in that society as well, I can testify this as well. Furthermore, if you look back at earlier 20th century at the western culture as well, women showing off their ankles or bits of their legs was considered extremely sleazy. 

With the advent of pornography, the tides have turned... a lot! It's easy for men to see hot women with big breasts and fantasize about threesomes, hardcore sex and so on. The pressure falls on the 'normal' or 'everyday' wives, girlfriends or females in general who have these high standard of physical beauty and sexuality to vault over. Furthermore, speaking as a fitness enthusiast and avid photographer/filmmaker, I can also attest that such supermodel/pornographic female body figures are not practical throughout the year and very very hard to maintain for most females. In other words, porn is mostly fantasy and primarily targeted at men these days.

Moving on, if you would like to augment the size of your breasts, you will have to go through surgery. I am not versed well in this department. However, I am sure posters before me or other viable resources are available at your disposal over the internet. I can, however, recommend a healthy diet and fitness plan which keeps your body and mind in check. Some exercises can help with slowing down gravity affecting the breasts. 

There is a lot that can be said. If you have any questions, please send me a message. I hope you all found this information helpful and encouraged you to think!


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## letter_to_dana (Jun 4, 2013)

@Fahad Ahmad: Thanks but no I'm not interested in doin' anything about the size of my boobs.
I'm tired of trying to make them seem bigger with different kinds of bra just so that nobody would laugh about my flat chest ... It's just as stupid as trying to be someone else! I'm a honest person and I value authenticity. 

Reading all these replies I concluded it's impossible to force someone not to fantasize about something they are really into. And it's also impossible trying to please one stupid boyfriend but yourself. So I'm done putting myself in these situations.
If someone else needs to express their feeling about ...boobs feel free to do so.:laughing:


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## Your.Quietness (Jan 5, 2014)

I think its subjective question. Big boobs for men is like big penis for women, does it matter that much? depends on the girl, but most women I would assume fantansize about big ones rather than small ones, and a few may even place it on the top of the list.

As for men and boobs, a lot are interested in big ones, but having a smaller breast size is by no means a deal breaker. if a guy gets into a relationship with you, chances are he already accepted your physical appearance, and boob sizes are a very visible part of physical appearance.


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## mrkedi (Nov 19, 2009)

This is a good question, I am a straight girl and I like to look at boobs too :ninja:


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## Nightchill (Oct 19, 2013)

Your.Quietness said:


> As for men and boobs, a lot are interested in big ones, but having a smaller breast size is by no means a deal breaker. if a guy gets into a relationship with you, chances are he already accepted your physical appearance, and boob sizes are a very visible part of physical appearance.


It's very unsettling having a partner with such a strong preference for something one doesn't have. Imagine, a hypothetical situation, your partner is mad for blond men, you're dark-haired. She stores images of blond men on her pc and frequents sites depicting them in action. She has a world you're not a part of and never will be. You can't really satisfy her and we know how related dissatisfaction in relationships is to their failure (be it break-up or betrayal). She still turns to her imaginary lovers frequently to satisfy her, as if you even weren't around. You can't fulfill your task.

It's basically like infidelity except that it falls short of direct human contact. The same way people don't want to be with a person who's in love with someone else, they don't want to be or have trouble being with a person who's sexually attracted to someone else.

personally I find it cynical to put one's partner in such a position. If one likes something so much one should go for it, rather than settle for the 'second best' if the person in question has such a strong preference.


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

Nightchill said:


> Of course, but too much is too much. To drool like a dog for a bone when shown tits, which appears to be the case with the group we're talking about.
> 
> If I were in the OP's shoes I'd leave the man, I wouldn't want to worry and guess if sb with such strong preference for something I don't have will be able to keep it in his pants.
> 
> I guess you can call it a mechanism of evolution, when women desire men with more advanced modern layers. Also it's immediately practical, it decreases the likelihood of him cheating.


I agree. 

In a relationship (idk if this applies to others) I would prefer it if the other person is honest about her preferences. In OP's situation there are a lot of great guys who'd prefer a partner with her physical characteristics over huge boobs. Different people like different things and nobody is perfect anyway. She should not have to change herself to meet other people's preferences.

Imo when we are not living up to who we really are and we are hiding behind "masks", we deny ourselves the relationships that would really work, because we end up with the wrong people. 

Its disappointing when one meets someone and they pretend to be someone else, later on we discover reality and it possibly turns into a deal breaker. Imo a lot of ppl are lost in trying to be someone else, to look like someone else, when in fact it is in their best interest to be authentic and to be confident. Self acceptance and confidence is very sexy imo.


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## Tad Cooper (Apr 10, 2010)

I think some people have that as a fetish, but generally most people seem to prefer ones that are in proportion to the woman's body, so they dont look oversized or anything.


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## Mammon (Jul 12, 2012)

I prefer the lack there of. Small chested and thin waist-ed. It's instinctual and psychological. It makes me wanna protect the girl at all costs and do whatever it takes to properly care for her.

Call of the Wild + Anima Projection

Deal with it.


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## Bea (Jan 2, 2014)

My psychology teacher says that guys who prefer larger breasts are compensating for a lack of nurture in their infancy (basically, their mom didn't feed them enough breast milk or didn't breastfeed at all). I don't know how accurate that is.


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## ColorsWolf (Nov 13, 2013)

android654 said:


> *shrugs* If you look at my post history its pretty clear that I don't repress anything, especially anything sexual. I'm pretty candid when it comes to fucking. I'm a straight guy and my primitive brain is always running, it just doesn't have any pull towards tits. I don't really care for big tits either. Hips and ass I get, but the obsession with breasts does seem like more of a socially reinforced attraction rather than a biological pull.
> 
> It's whatever. I only wrote a sentence. I didn't expect you to expand on it like that.


This is exactly how I feel.~



android654 said:


> I'd say that C-cups enter the realm of sizable breasts.
> 
> I think its important to note that there's much room for lateral movement when it comes to determining what is and isn't attractive, even on a purely stimuli/response level it isn't as black and white as you claim. I took notice of women young. At around five or so I started noticing women and from then till now there hasn't been that much of a pull to breasts and especially not big breasts. Not all people are wired the same way and just because it seems the majority fawn over a trait doesn't mean that the trait is indicative of everyone's attraction.


Exactly.~


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## ColorsWolf (Nov 13, 2013)

FreeBeer said:


> o.o I'm sorry...damn. -.-...ahh I'll never learn to distinguish sarcasm. Thx.
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah, most certainly there are exceptions. ^^; I get turned on by cute, petite, roman nosed women wearing over the knee socks ...talk about odd ...(this is like a deadly combo)



1 It is extremely difficult to determine any kind of sarcasm over words on a screen where there are no tones of voice, body language, eye contact, nor other indicators to determine the validity of suspected sarcasm.~

2 My perspective is: it's not about "exceptions": the point is that every one is different, their own person each, and they each have their own preferences, the rest is illogical social pressure to conform to 1 mode of thinking or preference which is futile and serves little purpose other than control for those who desire such over the populace.~


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

they give men boners. no further deliberation needed


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## FearAndTrembling (Jun 5, 2013)

Because they are sexual organs that most men have a particular, almost universal preference on? They aren't a deal breaker by any means, but they are nice to have. They are not as important as face or other body features. Small chested women are absolutely fine.


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## Blacktide (Sep 16, 2012)

Breasts like anything else in life are a matter of taste and vary from largely from person to person. My last girlfriend had relatively small breasts and given the choice I may have wanted them slightly larger. That being said I found her incredibly attractive as she was and would never even think of asking her to change anything. I lover people for who they are, not what I would like them to be.

As far as fantasies goes. I think everyone fantasizes about what it would be like to have something else. Like imaging what it would be like to be married to a millionaire and living a luxurious lifestyle. I believe fantasies in themselves are very normal and not necessarily unhealthy.


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

FearAndTrembling said:


> Because they are sexual organs that most men have a particular, almost universal preference on? They aren't a deal breaker by any means, but they are nice to have. They are not as important as face or other body features. Small chested women are absolutely fine.


What universal preference? Bigger is better?

Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710e using Tapatalk


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

Blacktide said:


> Breasts like anything else in life are a matter of taste and vary from largely from person to person. My last girlfriend had relatively small breasts and given the choice I may have wanted them slightly larger. That being said I found her incredibly attractive as she was and would never even think of asking her to change anything. I lover people for who they are, not what I would like them to be.
> 
> As far as fantasies goes. I think everyone fantasizes about what it would be like to have something else. Like imaging what it would be like to be married to a millionaire and living a luxurious lifestyle. I believe fantasies in themselves are very normal and not necessarily unhealthy.


That's awful. Would you have liked her to admit she'd rather you have a bigger penis? If you loved her, why should it matter? 

Sigh. Men. This topic is upsetting.

Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710e using Tapatalk


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## Brian1 (May 7, 2011)

I would say, something to hold onto while getting knocked up. I guess most of this board is too young to remember Family Feud, but, show me something to hold on to while getting knocked up.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

Fahad Ahmad said:


> @OP:
> 
> Boobs are indeed fascinating sexual parts of a female anatomy. However, a lot of it has to do with the element of mystery and freshness. What I mean by this is that boobs have innate value to them. If all the females would leave their boobs hanging around for everyone to see, they won't be as attractive as they seem. An example would be the tribes in Africa where men aren't particularly aroused by topless women. If I don't stand corrected, the European culture/s where the sexes are sexually more liberated, nudity isn't as striking of an issue as it is in United States. Coming from a very conservative society and knowing several people who have stayed in that society as well, I can testify this as well. Furthermore, if you look back at earlier 20th century at the western culture as well, women showing off their ankles or bits of their legs was considered extremely sleazy.


Breast feeding in public is not controversial in many of those places/cultures either. That's because when the breasts are desexualized people see them for what they are - to nourish babies. Then it's not "inappropriate" or "obscene" to expose them in public to nurse a baby.

Our culture has them as "sex toys" :/ .




> With the advent of pornography, the tides have turned... a lot! It's easy for men to see hot women with big breasts and fantasize about threesomes, hardcore sex and so on. The pressure falls on the 'normal' or 'everyday' wives, girlfriends or females in general who have these high standard of physical beauty and sexuality to vault over. Furthermore, speaking as a fitness enthusiast and avid photographer/filmmaker, I can also attest that such supermodel/pornographic female body figures are not practical throughout the year and very very hard to maintain for most females. In other words, porn is mostly fantasy and primarily targeted at men these days.


I think porn has negatively influenced male tastes. Porn started off as associated with pervs & fetishists or something people indulged on occasion to "spice things up". It was not mainstream. So you have the tastes of a minority, arguably not in healthy relationships, shaping an industry which later would grow & come to influence young, prepubescent boys who start accessing the stuff as soon as the get on the internet. 

On the whole, it results in very narrow tastes which reflect little of what an adult female body really looks like. It presents caricatures of women, created with surgery and angles. Breasts hardly resemble breasts anymore - they look like some imaginary body part bolted on to the chest. I don't think the often criticized fashion industry has done worse in presenting harmful beauty standards for women than porn. But because it's influencing male preference & therefore sanctioned by men as their "taste", it gets less criticism.

Which brings us to the rise of breast implants.. which changed the "ideal breast" a lot. Now bras are in these molded round, thickly padded shapes to push up boobs & give them a "fake look". In prior decades, the ideal look was closer to the more naturally common teardrop shape (see the relatively pointy boobs in classic cinema). Go back much farther and Greek ideals were not of extremely busty women, but what most would call "small breasts" especially in proportion to a slender, but not skinny frame.

In short, I think many modern ideals do not represent anything universal or timeless. Like many other eras, the ideals stem from specific things which occurred in their times. Plastic surgery, porn, and a few Puritanical ideas still lingering on seem to have emphasized large boobs & sexualized boobs more than many other cultures or time periods have.


* *


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## FearAndTrembling (Jun 5, 2013)

OrangeAppled said:


> Breast feeding in public is not controversial in many of those places/cultures either. That's because when the breasts are desexualized people see them for what they are - to nourish babies. Then it's not "inappropriate" or "obscene" to expose them in public to nurse a baby.
> 
> Our culture has them as "sex toys" :/ .
> 
> ...


I think what happened is the same thing that happened to food. Why does modern, processed, unnatural food taste so good? Because companies have spent millions of dollars over decades and decades to perfect tastes that though unnatural, somehow appeal to us even more than foods we have eaten for the hundreds of thousands of years prior. It's chemical engineering. Taste is now a science. And man can compete with nature in creating it, and is therefore superseding his "natural" tastes. 

That statue to the modern porn queen, is like an apple to the modern food. Sexual tastes have been engineered in the same way food tastes have. They obviously appeal to people though. They appeal to me. I admit, I love that big chested, great thighs and butt, bombshell. But I also like really skinny girls with no curves, strong and athletic tomboys, etc. I have diverse sexual tastes. I consider porn stars to be like junk food. They're occasional snacks. Engineered to satisfy a quick urge.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

FearAndTrembling said:


> I think what happened is the same thing that happened to food. Why does modern, processed, unnatural food taste so good? Because companies have spent millions of dollars over decades and decades to perfect tastes that though unnatural, somehow appeal to us even more than foods we have eaten for the hundreds of thousands of years prior. It's chemical engineering. Taste is now a science. And man can compete with nature in creating it, and is therefore superseding his "natural" tastes.
> 
> That statue to the modern porn queen, is like an apple to the modern food. Sexual tastes have been engineered in the same way food tastes have. They obviously appeal to people though. They appeal to me. I admit, I love that big chested, great thighs and butt, bombshell. But I also like really skinny girls with no curves, strong and athletic tomboys, etc. I have diverse sexual tastes. I consider porn stars to be like junk food. They're occasional snacks. Engineered to satisfy a quick urge.


I don't agree with this. Processed food does not taste better - it depends on the palette. To a refined palette not spoiled by excess of salt, sugar, fats and additives, etc, natural food is delicious, has more variety, complexity and gives more satisfaction. To the palette born of processed foods, these flavors are just "weird" because their tongue pretty much only registers salty, sugary and fatty as having any flavor. And the cravings people have subside once weaned off it long enough. It's not about better taste, but sugar addiction & desensitization.

What companies have spent millions of dollars doing is using advertising to promote it as better, making junk food cheap & convenient, and . In order to profit off of natural foods, they are grown and distributed in a way that makes it lose its flavor. Anyone who has a vegetable garden or fruit trees will tell you how great natural food is when not picked unripe & made to ripen artificially after transporting or when it is not genetically modified to somehow survive pesticides or not appeal to pests. I mean, when even BUGS don't wanna eat it....

But this is not a bad analogy to the porn craze. It's about poor-taste developed in youth, addictive elements unhealthy in large quantities, and cheap/fast/easy payoff. In the long-run, it leaves you poorly nourished and unattractive (in attitude).

This is why I think the beauty trends are a matter of _conditioning_, not improvement on nature.


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## FearAndTrembling (Jun 5, 2013)

OrangeAppled said:


> I don't agree with this. Processed food does not taste better - it depends on the palette. To a refined palette not spoiled by excess of salt, sugar, fats and additives, etc, natural food is delicious, has more variety, complexity and gives more satisfaction. To the palette born of processed foods, these flavors are just "weird" because their tongue pretty much only registers salty, sugary and fatty as having any flavor. And the cravings people have subside once weaned off it long enough. It's not about better taste, but sugar addiction & desensitization.
> 
> What companies have spent millions of dollars doing is using advertising to promote it as better, making junk food cheap & convenient, and . In order to profit off of natural foods, they are grown and distributed in a way that makes it lose its flavor. Anyone who has a vegetable garden or fruit trees will tell you how great natural food is when not picked unripe & made to ripen artificially after transporting or when it is not genetically modified to somehow survive pesticides or not appeal to pests. I mean, when even BUGS don't wanna eat it....
> 
> ...


Obviously people have differing tastes. The point is that food companies have tapped into something that a large amount of people, probably the majority of society, like. Even the culturally proud and resistant France has been conquered by McDonald's. These people did their homework. They aren't just fooling people. There is science behind it, and they know what people like, and they engineer it. They go exactly with nature, not against it. I don't think they have "improved" nature, that is a judgement call. But they have produced foods that most people would rather eat than natural ones. And it isn't just because of marketing and convenience, though those obviously play a role.

Personally, I don't care. I don't have refined tastes. I see that as a sensor thing. I don't care about microbrews or exotic beers, just giving me something light. The less taste, the better. Don't really have the inclination to split hairs over the sensory world in that way. I eat fruits and vegetables because they are good for me, not because they taste good. I drink beer to get drunk, not because it tastes good. Etc. Don't care about this shit. Like some pothead asked me what my favorite strain of weed is. I don't care, whatever gets me high. My favorite drink? Water. Just about the only thing I drink. Because it is simple. I am very sensitive to sensation and don't like an overload.

Porn stars are like an exaggeration, a caricature, of woman sexuality. They are high energy sugar rushes. Our society is based on energy dense foods, not nutrient dense. You can eat a huge meal, get tons of calories, and essentially no nutrients. We are overfed and undernourished at the same time.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

FearAndTrembling said:


> Obviously people have differing tastes. The point is that food companies have tapped into something that a large amount of people, probably the majority of society, like. Even the culturally proud and resistant France has been conquered by McDonald's. These people did their homework. They aren't just fooling people. There is science behind it, and they know what people like, and they engineer it. They go exactly with nature, not against it. I don't think they have "improved" nature, that is a judgement call. But they have produced foods that most people would rather eat than natural ones. And it isn't just because of marketing and convenience, though those obviously play a role.
> 
> Personally, I don't care. I don't have refined tastes. I see that as a sensor thing. I don't care about microbrews or exotic beers, just giving me something light. The less taste, the better. Don't really have the inclination to split hairs over the sensory world in that way. I eat fruits and vegetables because they are good for me, not because they taste good. I drink beer to get drunk, not because it tastes good. Etc. Don't care about this shit. Like some pothead asked me what my favorite strain of weed is. I don't care, whatever gets me high. My favorite drink? Water. Just about the only thing I drink. Because it is simple. I am very sensitive to sensation and don't like an overload.
> 
> Porn stars are like an exaggeration, a caricature, of woman sexuality. They are high energy sugar rushes. Our society is based on energy dense foods, not nutrient dense. You can eat a huge meal, get tons of calories, and essentially no nutrients. We are overfed and undernourished at the same time.



I don't disagree that people LIKE these things, I am saying it is not an innate preference tapped into. I think it's more marginally related preferences that are groomed into something else in people, and then exploited. I call it a caricature also, but caricatures are grotesque...they are not reflective the desired reality, but here they have become that.

When it comes to boobs, no one is arguing they play no role in attraction. Just like I would not argue that sugar generally is not tasty. It's the excess that I don't think there is a natural desire for; this is born of being exposed to certain things & having a "taste" develop, especially one that eclipses what IS natural. FYI, this is not about fake boobs alone, but a general aesthetic ideal that does not reflect any natural female form.


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## FearAndTrembling (Jun 5, 2013)

OrangeAppled said:


> I don't disagree that people LIKE these things, I am saying it is not an innate preference tapped into. I think it's more marginally related preferences that are groomed into something else in people, and then exploited. I call it a caricature also, but caricatures are grotesque...they are not reflective the desired reality, but here they have become that.
> 
> When it comes to boobs, no one is arguing they play no role in attraction. Just like I would not argue that sugar generally is not tasty. It's the excess that I don't think there is a natural desire for; this is born of being exposed to certain things & having a "taste" develop, especially one that eclipses what IS natural. FYI, this is not about fake boobs alone, but a general aesthetic ideal that does not reflect any natural female form.


I was just thinking about this after I posted. Porn has ruined the looks of particular women the way it has ruined particular foods. Happens so often. Gina Lynn for example. Very nice looking, natural girl. Started out as brunette in porn, all natural. Of course within a year she was bleach blonde, chest implants, facial surgery with that skinny nose, etc.. The porn "image" she had to fulfill destroyed her beauty. And this is what happens. Like, if I see a new hot pornstar up and comer, with a small chest, I know for a fact she is gonna have implants within the next year. These women start off as beautiful and become caricatures.


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## ColorsWolf (Nov 13, 2013)

FearAndTrembling said:


> I was just thinking about this after I posted. Porn has ruined the looks of particular women the way it has ruined particular foods. Happens so often. Gina Lynn for example. Very nice looking, natural girl. Started out as brunette in porn, all natural. Of course within a year she was bleach blonde, chest implants, facial surgery with that skinny nose, etc.. The porn "image" she had to fulfill destroyed her beauty. And this is what happens. Like, if I see a new hot pornstar up and comer, with a small chest, I know for a fact she is gonna have implants within the next year. These women start off as beautiful and become caricatures.


I started watching porn and masturbating to it at a young age around 10 years old, now so-called "premium" porn or a lot of porn any where is completely boring to me more often than not, not impressed, the porn has to actually be "unique" now to get my attention let alone arouse my sexual drive otherwise forget about making me climax: I'm talking about interesting to me stories, various different body types and "states" like unshaven or without tattoos or a lack of high-heels (one of my often biggest repulsions), or very "unusual" "themes" (not interested in feces porn, murder porn, nor most violent porn).~

This is why I often find porn where they do not "show every thing" (and therefore not considered XXX) more sexually stimulating because they often have most of the above qualities.~

I enjoyed the 1970's Taboo movies and the more recent movie "Pirates" (the non-XXX version but still have great sexual scenes) as examples.~

I do not consider media like movies nor a TV series that shows more realistic sexual activities scenes, such as Spartacus, to be "porn", because "porn" is about nothing else but "sexual activities" or things that lead to "sexual activities" as taking priority over the actual story itself, therefore media like Spartacus is not "porn" it is simply more "realistic".~


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## FearAndTrembling (Jun 5, 2013)

ColorsWolf said:


> I started watching porn and masturbating to it at a young age around 10 years old, now so-called "premium" porn or a lot of porn any where is completely boring to me more often than not, not impressed, the porn has to actually be "unique" now to get my attention let alone arouse my sexual drive otherwise forget about making me climax: I'm talking about interesting to me stories, various different body types and "states" like unshaven or without tattoos or a lack of high-heels (one of my often biggest repulsions), or very "unusual" "themes" (not interested in feces porn, murder porn, nor most violent porn).~
> 
> This is why I often find porn where they do not "show every thing" (and therefore not considered XXX) more sexually stimulating because they often have most of the above qualities.~
> 
> ...


The Japanese censor genitalia. Like they have no taboos on what can actually be done, but the penis and vagina are always blurred out. They are actually hardcore fucking, but one small area is blocked out.

I tend to like generic, mainstream porn. I figure these broads rose to the top for a reason.

Spartacus is a great show btw.


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## aendern (Dec 28, 2013)

I am not attracted to big boobs. I like small to medium sized boobs

see: Natalie Portman, Olivia Wilde, any slender woman

I mean I do like Scarlett Johansson's boobs, but they are bigger than what I consider to be "ideal" or "the most beautiful."


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## ColorsWolf (Nov 13, 2013)

I'm noticing that some movies are starting to include more "realism" such as "more realistic sex scenes", I'm extremely glad that the U.S.A. is continuing to let go of the Religious Oppression values that was one of the main reasons we broke-off from Britian and built this country in the first place.~

I think many U.S.A. citizens (it's not fair to Southern Americans nor Canadians to call only U.S.A. citizens "Americans") have forgotten this and that "God" was never in ANY THING official until this word was added later on to "official" things by again Religious Oppressors who care nothing for the rights of the U.S.A. citizens nor that this country was founded on RELIGIOUS FREEDOM to begin with.~


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## ColorsWolf (Nov 13, 2013)

emberfly said:


> I am not attracted to big boobs. I like small to medium sized boobs
> 
> see: Natalie Portman, Olivia Wilde, any slender woman
> 
> I mean I do like Scarlett Johansson's boobs, but they are bigger than what I consider to be "ideal" or "the most beautiful."


I am also an admirer of the small African birds.~

"Boobie" or "Boob" is a small African bird, in case you didn't know.~

Knowledge is fun!~ ^_^


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

Why is anything attractive?


l think that if you have an understanding of why some people find them so attractive, you have a better idea of what your body is/isn't.

Questions like why is ___ trait attractive, if someone really has no personal sense of it they aren't ever going to be satisfied or know how_ they _ think they should look...if they don't find anything attractive themselves.

Men can have a similar cluelessness with regard to male appearance.

l don't have them and l can find them attractive because a self-identification is not required :tongue:

ETA:l do want to meet the girls getting ''rejected'' for not having them, who aren't in the entertainment or sex industry.

This more often translates to:''My boyfriend _ likes_ big boobs and l don't have them.''


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## Magnesium (Jan 7, 2014)

Oh, another boob thread.

Fun fact that will make you go "...wait...but that means......ew"

Men who like big boobs tend to have been extensively breast fed.

I was not breast fed, and my manhood will salute any breast size, because boobs. So, screw your ex, he can regress to infancy all he wants.


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## Inveniet (Aug 21, 2009)

Yeah so boobs are something that men eyes dart too.
Why they matter so much?
Well I've heard some theories.
But meh who cares...

I care more about idealistic prudes who have a bent for condeming physical attratction.
Go live in a monestrary if it is such a big deal that you happen to belong to the human species.
This is how the human species work! 
Running around saying that men are doing it wrong, when they are in fact doing it right, 
*makes no sense at all. :-/*


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## Magnesium (Jan 7, 2014)

hornet said:


> Yeah so boobs are something that men eyes dart too.
> Why they matter so much?
> Well I've heard some theories.
> [/B]


Well. When a lady and a gentleman love each other very much....


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## Inveniet (Aug 21, 2009)

Magnesium said:


> Well. When a lady and a gentleman love each other very much....


Oh I'm sorry I thought we where on the subject of bastards and bitches in lust. 
Please continue your civilized conversation.
I'll go back to my cave.


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## ColorsWolf (Nov 13, 2013)

Magnesium said:


> Oh, another boob thread.
> 
> Fun fact that will make you go "...wait...but that means......ew"
> 
> ...


Um, it's the _opposite_ with me: I find breasts somewhat sexually attractive because of the brainwashing as a result of me being subjected to the horrible hypocrisy that this much of U.S.A. Cultures and Societies.~

I mostly have an extremely strong desire to drink actual breast milk from a lactating Human Adult Female's breasts, because I was cruelly denied this as a developing child.~

Sexually speaking: buttocks stimulate my sexual drive greater than many things.~


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

I finally got the answer! Worry no more! Listen. Boobs matter. Because they have nipples. Clearly, the newfound insight shall quell the needs of this thread. You can't argue the logic. Nipples.


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## ENTrePreneur (Aug 7, 2013)

NK said:


> I finally got the answer! Worry no more! Listen. Boobs matter. Because they have nipples. Clearly, the newfound insight shall quell the needs of this thread. You can't argue the logic. Nipples.


^^Truth


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

NK said:


> I finally got the answer! Worry no more! Listen. Boobs matter. Because they have nipples. Clearly, the newfound insight shall quell the needs of this thread. You can't argue the logic. Nipples.


This actually makes a lot of sense. I actually like nipples a great deal. And now that I think about it, smaller breasts usually have better looking nipples. I think I just picked the lock to a secret door in my filthy, filthy mind.


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

android654 said:


> This actually makes a lot of sense. I actually like nipples a great deal. And now that I think about it, smaller breasts usually have better looking nipples. I think I just picked the lock to a secret door in my filthy, filthy mind.


I told you! This is the ONLY logical explanation as to why they matter :tongue:


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## ColorsWolf (Nov 13, 2013)

NK said:


> I finally got the answer! Worry no more! Listen. Boobs matter. Because they have nipples. Clearly, the newfound insight shall quell the needs of this thread. You can't argue the logic. Nipples.


I'm a man.~

I have nipples to, do you want my breasts?~


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

ColorsWolf said:


> I'm a man.~
> 
> I have nipples to, do you want my breasts?~


You're a man; you shouldn't have breasts.


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

ColorsWolf said:


> I'm a man.~
> 
> I have nipples to, do you want my breasts?~


That's why men have hairy chests. To cover them up. See? It all makes sense! :tongue:


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## Robert J Gough (Dec 29, 2013)

letter_to_dana said:


> Ummm ok. I have a pretty dumb question for you guys... and yes i mean GUYS.
> So one of my ex boyfriends was sooo into big boobs. But like HUGE! And i'm really far away from that. I'm also very skinny. At the beginning of our relationship he told me he didn't care about big boobs or big asses. BUT after a while he kept telling me how he thinks I should do something about my boobs (as a joke) and I discovered on his browser history lots of porn links with milf womens... I was hurt. I asked him why he lied to me and he told me that his fantasies don't have anything to do with me.
> Even now I really don't think that's true.
> So... my question is this: If you like big boobs and your girlfriend doesn't have them what do you do? And also, do you really think fantasies don't affect your relationship (in case you can't turn them into reality)? I'm a bit confused and curious about other oppinions.


They matter 'cos I do not have any of my own. I would have killed for a pair of firm, pert Bs.


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

Robert J Gough said:


> They matter 'cos I do not have any of my own. I would have killed for a pair of firm, pert Bs.


So long as you have nipples .. That's all that really matters.


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## Robert J Gough (Dec 29, 2013)

NK said:


> So long as you have nipples .. That's all that really matters.


Wait... I better check. How many am I supposed to have?


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

NK said:


> So long as you have nipples .. That's all that really matters.





Robert J Gough said:


> They matter 'cos I do not have any of my own. I would have killed for a pair of firm, pert Bs.


Seriously, listen to the lady. She's got this one figured out.


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

Robert J Gough said:


> Wait... I better check. How many am I supposed to have?


2. Unless you're dating a guy with one arm. Then one should suffice.


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## Robert J Gough (Dec 29, 2013)

NK said:


> 2. Unless you're dating a guy with one arm. Then one should suffice.


I prefer the womenfolk... with two arms.

And yay for me... I have two nipples.

Party at my place, people?


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## stargazing grasshopper (Oct 25, 2013)

...


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

stargazing grasshopper said:


> So do we now debate the morality of us guys harboring a preference for a particular size, shape & shade of nipple?
> Will I be flogged in the town square due to my fondness of puffy areola & perky nipples?


Puffy areola's ? I'm afraid to google image that because to be honest, I'm not sure what that means


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

K. Just looked it up. There were some really scary pictures. But some normal. I don't think anyone's gonna be mad you prefer regular nipples. But the scary picture ones were kind of gross. I don't care if you're a fan of those. Then there was a pic of a nipple being cut off. And THAT is gross if you'd be a fan of puffy nipples without the boob. Just my thoughts on it. Google image takes courage.


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## stargazing grasshopper (Oct 25, 2013)

NK said:


> Puffy areola's ? I'm afraid to google image that because to be honest, I'm not sure what that means


I had lunch with my accountant & I'm kinda grumpy today, actually grumpy all week. Please disregard that last comment.


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

stargazing grasshopper said:


> I had lunch with my accountant & I'm kinda grumpy today, actually grumpy all week. Please disregard that last comment.


I'm sorry. I was just joking around.


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

That's a good question, please excuse me while I think on it...


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## stargazing grasshopper (Oct 25, 2013)

NK said:


> K. Just looked it up. There were some really scary pictures. But some normal. I don't think anyone's gonna be mad you prefer regular nipples. But the scary picture ones were kind of gross. I don't care if you're a fan of those. Then there was a pic of a nipple being cut off. And THAT is gross if you'd be a fan of puffy nipples without the boob. Just my thoughts on it. Google image takes courage.


Now I've a good idea what the "Nin" in Ningsta is in reference to, you ninja quoted my comment quicker than I was able to change my mind & delete the comment.
Since it's too late now, I'd suggest that "puffy & perky" are inseparable akin to butter & toast.


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## Kingdom Crusader (Jan 4, 2012)

I don't think boobs themselves are that big of a deal to everyone. But I wouldn't be averse to getting some cosmetic work done on myself after I've had all my kids.


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## Pucca (Jun 13, 2012)

android654 said:


> At the same time one should recognize that not all women will eventually develop. bThere are many women well into their 30's with a size a or b bust with obviously no way to grow further.


I do recognize that, but why should that even be a "problem?" Small chests are beautiful too.



android654 said:


> You really shouldn't *fault* someone for wanting to augment their bodies for their own self esteem.


I haven't done such a thing. If I were to fault anyone, it would be image-obsessed societies that purport unrealistic standards of beauty and do not celebrate the diversity of the human body. It's like poison to the immature. It "bothers" me. Why should an A or B cup female feel inadequate unless it was shoved down her throat? I've been there and known them feels.


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

Pucca said:


> I do recognize that, but why should that even be a "problem?" Small chests are beautiful too.


That's my preference and don't have an issue with it, obviously. But there are women who want their bodies to be more than it is once their development ended.



> I haven't done such a thing. If I were to fault anyone, it would be image-obsessed societies that purport unrealistic standards of beauty and do not celebrate the diversity of the human body. It's like poison to the immature. It "bothers" me. Why should an A or B cup female feel inadequate unless it was shoved down her throat? I've been there and known them feels.


That was an ad populum, not directed at you specifically. While it is fair to bemoan society for force-feeding concepts of beauty to the masses, once it's in someone's head, it's in their head. Even if someone has allowed their self image to become compromised to believe that something else is more beautiful than what they are and want to change into that for their personal want, who are we to tell them they're wrong?


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## Pucca (Jun 13, 2012)

android654 said:


> That's my preference and don't have an issue with it, obviously. But there are women who want their bodies to be more than it is once their development ended.


My only argument was that female development does not necessarily end with puberty. The female body continues to change, and sometimes drastically, with hormonal changes. There are more considerations to be taken into account than just size when it comes to surgery, function should also be _seriously_ considered, whether that be sexual function (nerve-reception) or lactation. 



android654 said:


> That was an ad populum, not directed at you specifically. While it is fair to bemoan society for force-feeding concepts of beauty to the masses, once it's in someone's head, it's in their head. Even if someone has allowed their self image to become compromised to believe that something else is more beautiful than what they are and want to change into that for their personal want, *who are we to tell them they're wrong*?


Who has said _they_ are wrong? The idea that breasts must meet a certain criteria to be acceptable is what is wrong. 

A 34B was the U.S. unaugmented average and it was not considered "small" at one time. Now the U.S. unaugmented average is 36C. I don't know if this has anything to do with the "obesity epidemic" or the prevalence of phytoestrogens from the soy substitution in our diets, but women are already getting larger. Look at the average over world populations, an A cup is very normal in many large swaths of the world and for certain racial groups. As a country that has opened its doors to every ethnic, racial, and religious group in the world, we should recognize the beauty in diversity. How will body image attitudes change if we don't advocate it?

And I refer to the U.S. mainly, because through media and influence, American attitudes can pervade and change other cultures. We are also the lead in cosmetic surgeries by sheer numbers alone.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

Your boyfriends a dick.

Boobs matter as much as big dicks matter.

Get over it, or get implants.

Or, get a new boyfriend.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

Pucca said:


> *I was teased and ridiculed as a teen by guys who wanted to comment on my lack of breast size. *
> My frame was tall, slim, and athletic. My breasts were a pert size A that never got in my way. They were freakin' beautiful!
> I didn't let the teasing phase me as those guys would never get the privilege of seeing my breasts so their opinions did not matter.
> But, it was obvious that people placed great emphasis on large breasts. I was often told to eat my potatoes so they would grow. :dry:
> ...



For every tall, slim, athletic girl that get a few small bewb comments, there are 5 fat or chubby nerdy-types that are getting harassed about their lard asses.

Fuck, I wish I was a slim, small breasted female in high school. Shit would have been easier. 

But, what's _your_ point?

Boobs are boobs.

If you're still holding onto the words of 9th-grade bullies, you've got some issues to work out.

And also, there arent many 15 year old girls getting surgery. And the young females that are opting for breast enhancement are well aware of the risks.


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## Pucca (Jun 13, 2012)

TWN said:


> Fuck, I wish I was a slim, small breasted female in high school. Shit would have been easier.


Like I haven't heard that all my life from people who were larger than me. Being the object of ridicule and disparaging comments due to envy is no picnic either.



TWN said:


> For every tall, slim, athletic girl that get a few small bewb comments, there are 5 fat or chubby nerdy-types that are getting harassed about their *lard asses*.


Yeah, because being called *bony-assed* is so much better. 

*ENFP* <-----I was also a "nerd." I transcended stereotypes, damn it! So, I also got the "know it all" and "*smart-assed*" and "four eyes" comments. Whatev. People are too caught up in ridiculing those who don't fit their little boxes. 



TWN said:


> But, what's _your_ point?


Go back and read my posts if you haven't caught my reiterated point(s) by now. 



TWN said:


> Boobs are boobs.


Yep.



TWN said:


> If you're still holding onto the words of 9th-grade bullies, you've got some issues to work out.


Where did this come from? Someone asked for the perspective of someone who had such experiences and I gave it. 
Sure it hurt at the time to be bullied and teased (and I was bullied from the time I entered grade school to the time I exited high school), but I overcame it. What's your issue?



TWN said:


> And also, there arent many 15 year old girls getting surgery. And the young females that are opting for breast enhancement are well aware of the risks.


Really? How about you read an article so you know what the hell you're talking about?
Teens getting more nose jobs, breast implants

You can't tell me a _minor_ truly understands all the ramifications of their decisions or how their values may change with maturity. :dry:


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

Pucca said:


> Like I haven't heard that all my life from people who were larger than me. Being the object of ridicule and disparaging comments due to envy is no picnic either.
> 
> Yeah, because being called *bony-assed* is so much better.
> 
> ...


I dont need to read the article, but I'll skim the first few paragraphs to prove my point.

If you look again, I said there aren't many young girls getting the surgery.

This is still true.

The numbers are low.



> In 2010, the American Society of Plastic Surgeons reported 13.1 million cosmetic procedures were performed





> 218,909 of all cosmetic procedures were performed on teenagers. Boys and girls age 13-19 make up about 2% of plastic surgery procedures performed in the U.S.





> 8,525 teens age 13-19 received breast augmentation in 2010. It’s the #4 most popular teen cosmetic surgery.


That's less than 1 percent of all cosmetic procedures. (0.06 to be exact)

That's not significant.

I'd say american parents are still doing an OK job at protecting their daughters.

I'm not even sure what your argument is anymore.

First it was "the young girls are suffering", now you dont have a leg to stand on, because they arent. The emotionally unstable, and body-conscious girls *may *be suffering.

We dont know why people get cosmetic surgery. 

Every person has their reasons.

And contrary to popular belief, children, and teens are people.


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

Pucca said:


> You can't tell me a _minor_ truly understands all the ramifications of their decisions or how their values may change with maturity. :dry:


I wanted to throw in a bit of anecdotal evidence.

I never wanted kids as a child.

The thought of birthing a child, at age 8, 10, and 15 made me sick. 

If I wanted a kid, I'd adopt.

When I turned 17 I looked into getting my tubes tied, and my family, friends, and even doctors gave me death stares while hissing "Once you make that decision, you will not be able to reverse it. You may want kids in your twenties."

And now that im in my 20s? They're saying I may want kids in a few years, maybe in my 30s.

My stance now? I've already made an appointment with my primary to get this show on the road.

That belief, that disgust of motherhood, never changed as I grew older.

A lot of young people arent just going through a phase. Some of them have concrete beliefs of their own, that will follow them through life.

As adults, as parents, as a society, we should respect this.

Especially when it comes to trans-sexual/gendered boys and girls.

Telling a trans kid they cant have tits, or hormones to grow tits may lead to tortured souls and suicide notes.

I know because I spent a lot of my time as a kid hating the responsibility that came pre-packeged with my vagina.

Please think before you go shouting about protecting the little kiddies.

Some of them, actually a great number of them, outweigh your intelligence.


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## Pucca (Jun 13, 2012)

@TWN

You know what? I can see that you have issues and bitterness surrounding the topic. 
I also see that you have some healing work to do no matter how "mature" you think you are. 
It will do you no good to rant at me and accuse me of attitudes I have not portrayed and words I have not spoken. 
You've gone so far off topic trying to drag other things in that were not relevant to this topic. 

If you wish to discuss other matters with me, send me a PM or mention me in a thread that has to do with permanent sterilization, sexual reassignment surgery, weight issues, identity issues, or parental protection. 



TWN said:


> Please think before you go *shouting* about protecting the little kiddies.


As if anyone was shouting or it's somehow despicable to advocate for children?



TWN said:


> Some of them, actually a great number of them, outweigh your intelligence.


This statement didn't even make sense. The only "them" in your previous sentence was "kiddies." 
Even if you were trying to refer to various issues, your assertion still doesn't make sense. As if I would rely on your judgement of the "weight" of my intelligence anyway.


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## Mr. Meepers (May 31, 2012)

I kind of want to bring up an opposing side to the topic of the thread that, to me, feels like more social bullying/pressure when it comes to women's breasts.

We want all women to love themselves and people will post sexually objectifying pictures of women, saying how "real boobs" (all boobs are real , especially the kind with blue feet ) are better and sometimes people will make what seems to be moral comments about people with "fake" boobs and try to make them feel bad about it.
Now, personally, sure, I may be hesitant to date someone who just had cosmetic surgery because there is a good chance that they may have some self-esteem issue (and surgery is probably not going to make them feel better about themselves) and it may be hard to have a healthy relationship at the moment in time, but I would still want to build them up (instead of tearing them down) and if they had surgery some time ago, liked it, and between then and know learned to value themselves, then why hold the past against them, they did nothing wrong, at most they just caved into pressure that they should not have been under in the first place (and some may of had breast cancer and just want to move past the experience and return to a sense of "normalcy" ... Okay, I don't know anyone who has done that, but I could see that happening).

Now I'm curious if people whom have had breast implants have gotten a lot of nasty comments (whether about their breasts or their personality, such as being called "fake" or "shallow").

Since this is a thread about whether boobs matter, I figured we should add the topic of once someone has already enlarged their breasts, is it fair to make people feel bad about them? (No, all boobs are awesome  and women, whether they have boobs or not, are awesome too  )

Perhaps my point should have been, we should focus more on who people are instead of judging them over their body.


So this post (it is an old post, but I wanted to bring this topic up for a while, and this thread seems to be a good place to do it) was the first post that started me to think about this.

* *







> I was tempted to start a separate thread about this but I felt more comfortable posting it in a thread already sexual in nature. Do you other INFP guys get totally turned off by fake breasts? Fake breasts don't do it for me at all. Natural shapes are more aesthetically pleasing and I just can't get over the fact that they are not real. It would bug me to know that my hypothetical SO had fake boobies. I think it takes away the thrill of "yay! boobies!" because they aren't really boobies. I think it might even be a symbolic thing where like taking your clothes off for your lover is like baring yourself to them. It's symbolic where it's like your baring your soul to the person. Fake boobs are kind of like a protective cover so you can't see the real person. It takes away from the body to body intimacy. Maybe that's part of the reason we get aroused from naked female bodies in the first place? It's like they're revealing who they really are underneath all protective covers. A lot of you guys seem to really value having real intimate connections with the person you would make love to and I was wondering if you could relate to this.


My Response/View:


> I don't know. I'm not even sure I have seen fake breasts (A testament to "quality" or a testament to my obliviousness). I suppose it could bother me depending on why she got them and if she feels the same way. Personally, I want people to be happy with their bodies as they are (I also want be to want healthy bodies too), so I'm not really a fan of most cosmetic surgery (reconstructive cosmetic surgery and "cosmetic" surgery that helps alleviate ailments of the body are big exceptions). But if someone changes their own body for themselves, and no one else, I won't look down on it.
> 
> But, sometimes people who may go through a cosmetic surgery may not respect themselves ... and if they still feel that way, how can I expect to have an equal and healthy, romantic relationship with them?!
> 
> ...


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## ColorsWolf (Nov 13, 2013)

Pucca said:


> You can't tell me a _minor_ truly understands all the ramifications of their decisions or how their values may change with maturity. :dry:


Unfortunately, teenagers tend to think like children because they are treated like children.~ A "teenager" is a false made-up concept created to suit the "modern day" sedentary lifestyle of Humanity to further over-coddle and screw up the mental faculties of the maturing Human youth.~ Such a concept is a very recent invention as just over 50 years ago such a thing never existed.~ The tighter those in power try to force such an unnatural concept into existence the worse every thing for every one becomes.~ Perhaps so-called "teenagers" would have more sensibility to listen to themselves rather than their idiot peers or large money-hungry corporations that prey on weak-minded fools if "teenagers" weren't treated as if they were always just before the age of beginning puberty when they have long since passed it.~ It's such a huge mess...~


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## Playful Proxy (Feb 6, 2012)

I dunno, if it's due to me just being me, but I've never figured this one out.  I mean sure, they are like twin bouncy-balls which jiggle, we liked bouncy balls as kids, the relation may make sense. But I could never figure out how people attribute sexual stuff to them at all.


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## Morfy (Dec 3, 2013)

Signify said:


> I dunno, if it's due to me just being me, but I've never figured this one out.  I mean sure, they are like twin bouncy-balls which jiggle, we liked bouncy balls as kids, the relation may make sense. But I could never figure out how people attribute sexual stuff to them at all.


Well you cannot really rationalize sexual attraction since it comes down to preset instincts


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## Playful Proxy (Feb 6, 2012)

Morfinyon said:


> Well you cannot really rationalize sexual attraction since it comes down to preset instincts


Of course you can rationalize sexual attraction. Difference is, you may have to fall back on neuroscience and evolutionary traits to explain it.


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## Magnesium (Jan 7, 2014)

I have an idea for a scientific experiment. You girls all post topless pics. We'll number the photos, and then we will make a surveymonkey for the guys (and bi/gay girls) to fill out whether or they are turned on.

No? But ...but ...it's for science! Honest!


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

[No message]


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## WildImagineer (Jan 25, 2013)

DemonD said:


> The amount of importance a man places in boobs is often inversely proportional to his intelligence.


Can I supplement the word intelligence with hedonism? I know plenty of intelligent people who have a very present focused mind, rather than future-oriented, and as such don't consider personality factors to be of the utmost importance because sex gives them so much release.


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