# Please help me find my type...



## indigocrystal (Mar 14, 2010)

I test as a 4 on the eneagram, however, I believe I am a 6 w 5.

My traits:

I am happiest when I am in nature, when I am creating (writing fiction, songs, nature photography, camping, sitting under a tree, etc.)

I am happy to go up to someone at a party that I don't know if I feel I will connect with them....but I'm happiest not to go to the party in the 1st place and stay home and hang out there.

I have a strong intuitive side (I have known people were going to die before the doctors, for example). I can often finish people's sentences for them or sense things about people (like my friend's now fiance is bipolar and she didn't tell me, I just knew). As a kid, this freaked me out, so I tried to ignore it and I lost touch witht his aspect of myself. I am more comfortable with it now and I appreciate it.

I am a people pleaser. I am leaving that phase of my life now, though! 

I am definitely insecure. I was taught that I had to be a certain way to be loved as a child. It made it difficult to be myself. I spent a lot of time alone creating a world I wanted to live in... I have a difficult time trusting in my husband's love for me. I used to check in with him to make sure he loved me, almost expecting him to leave me! (I finally know he loves me...it's a great feeling!) 

I am very honest with myself and others. To the mpth degree! I went to get my driver's license and a med had made me overweight. I wanted to lie about my weight but I just couldn't do it  (Now I would!!) lol

I am very sensitive.....to violence, meanness, food, smells, noise, etc. (I think this makes me special...something I'm embarassed to admit, but it's true. All the bad things thah have happened to me make me feel special. I know it's weird!! I kept giving myself problems t stay a victim so I would be loved.)

I am deeply committed to personal growth and the desire to make the world a better place.

I am a very serious person...though I am working on this aspect of myself! Life can definitely be a lot of fun 

I rarely finish what I start.

I only need one or two close friends...but I can be happy without any friends. As long as I have a pet, a pen and paper, and a space outdoors... I like to be alone....but I also like to talk if I am close with someone. However, if someone needs my help, I will do what I can to be there for them (I used to be a martyr in that way...I am moving out of that chapter and learning to give to myself first).

I love feeling things deeply. I love romance...but if an ending to a story is unhappy, it leaves me feeling unsettled.

I resonate with other people's emotions deeply. If I watch a movie, for example, it is as if I am experiencing what the main characters are going through. 

I believe we are all connected.

If I can make someone feel good about themselves, it was a good day.

I want everyone to know they are loved and to live in peace. 

All you need is love is definitely my motto. That and feel the fear and do it anyway 

I hope I didn't write too much!! Thanks in advance for any help I am given on my journey to finding my type!

Much Love and Light,

Indigo


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## agokcen (Jan 3, 2010)

I don't know about the 6w5 idea; you certainly could be a type 4, but have you looked into type 9? Much of what you say sounds very 9-ish, and 9s often have difficulty figuring out what type they are. Read up on it a bit and see what you think.


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## Grey (Oct 10, 2009)

I'm not going to comment on the Enneagram type if that is not what you are looking for (if so, I would ask that I may move this thread to the section pertaining to Enneagram types). You do, however, seem to be somewhat toward xxFJ. Have you considered a functional approach in studying and trying to decide on your type?


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## indigocrystal (Mar 14, 2010)

I have looked into type 9 (my dad's a 9), and it's sooo not me! I have been trying to go to 9 as my point of integration and learning about buddhism....but I know I'm not a "9"....

I can see why you might think that though!! I love peace, and love, and all of that. But my "nature" is not that way....it is how I am striving to be. Is it more helpful then to only write about who I was when I was younger, before I started to truly "work on myself"?

On second thought...I have always wanted people to be happy. Is that a "9" characteristic? 

(On the other hand...my ability to quickly consider another's point of view makes me want to say 'you're such a six!'") lol Or is that a nine trait? 

I'm sorry to be so confusing!! (Hmm...is that a type)  I've been studying the enneagram for a few years and it still confuses me  

Thanks for your help!

Love and light,

Indigo


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## indigocrystal (Mar 14, 2010)

Grey,

I am interested in learning my MBTI type (though if someone has a comment about the enneagram I have no problem with that!)  What do you mean by a functional approach? If you have some ideas I would love to hear them!

Thanks for your help, take care...

Indigo


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## agokcen (Jan 3, 2010)

If it's an MBTI analysis you seek, I'm inclined to suggest that you're some sort of INFx. More information would be helpful, of course.

By "functional approach," Grey means that it would be useful for you to look at the mental functions - Ne, Ni, Se, Si, Te, Ti, Fe, Fi - in order to figure out your type, rather than just the basic letters.


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## Grey (Oct 10, 2009)

Functions can be a complicated side to the MBTI, but I find that they're better for typing than just assuming you're '75 percent introverted' or '56 percent judging'. I hope it's not too much of a shameless self-promotion, but I did post an article on it once here: http://personalitycafe.com/articles/13201-functions.html. Additionally, if you want to learn more about this approach, I can provide a few resources to get you started.


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## indigocrystal (Mar 14, 2010)

Hi Grey,

I checked out your article, thanks so much! 

I can relate toi Fi, Fe, (need a better understanding of Ti), and I do not relate to Te at all.

Fi because my beliefs are important to me and there are some things I just can't accept (like littering for example). I will not usually share my beliefs with others...even if they are very close to me, unless I have a good reason for doing so.

Fe because I desperately want everyone to get along. I am often the mediator when family or friends argue and I truly want everyone to be happy and love one another. Conflicts between even movie characters is upsetting to me! lol

Ti I would like some examples if you have any! I analyze things...but I analyze people and their types, for example! I analyze people's emotions and reactions to me as well. Does that fit Ti?

I think I relate some to Se through seeking stimulation through emotion and through intensity in relationships.

I very much relate to Si as I have spent much of my life living in the past.

As far as Ne goes, I have ADD, so I do jump around from topic to topic...but I am not very hyperactive. (I have ADD/ADHD combo but I am more on the ADD side.)

Ni sounds much like an explanation for my life...only I often need to talk out what is going on in my head in order to process it....I am learning to write my thoughts down though and I am happy with that. 

Thanks again for your help! It's exciting to learn about this system 

Love and Light,

Indigo


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## indigocrystal (Mar 14, 2010)

Agokcen,

Thanks for your input! I am just learning about MBTI so this is all very new to me. It's good to have you here to help me on my journey 

P.S. I think I'm going to copy and paste the original post on the enneagram section of the forum as I just found it and I would appreciate more complete info on my ennea type as well. I hope you're having a wonderful night, take care!

Indigo


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## Grey (Oct 10, 2009)

> Ti I would like some examples if you have any! I analyze things...but I analyze people and their types, for example! I analyze people's emotions and reactions to me as well. Does that fit Ti?


That sounds more like one of the F functions - Ti is more correlated to 'objective' things, like principles, standards, and so forth. Ti isn't completely analyzing, either, just as Si isn't about memory or being in the past. I suppose a few examples would be asking for specifics and yearning to find definition. Although those who use Ti are the IxTP types, they seek internal definition and understanding.

Have you considered ENFJ or INFJ?


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## indigocrystal (Mar 14, 2010)

Grey,

If you have specific examples I would greatly appreciate them! 

It's still a bit confusing for me. I am considering spending some time simply reading posts from the ENFJ and INFJers to see if I feel more at home in either place.

Any other recommendations you have are welcome 

P.S. Are you a 5 on the enneagram? 

Love and Light,

Indigo


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## indigocrystal (Mar 14, 2010)

I just read somewhere that major life events can change your type?

I was in a car accident that changed everything for me. 

Do I need to give any info. about how I was before the accident and how I've changed? Is this important? (I don't want to bog you all down with too much info.!)

Thanks 

Indigo


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## Tucken (Dec 13, 2009)

I don't think your type changes. Possibly as you grow up but not as an adult. Try and look inside of yourself and forget about life-changing events. 
I recommend you look to the motivations/fixations of the likely alternatives. 
Then compare the groups- triad, hornevian and harmonic grouping. 
This could be of great help, it's a bit complicated though. The Enneagram Institute Discussion Board - Summarized theory of fixations, etc, c. 1976 Consider what is said about the types under *Movement in the psychic spectrum*.


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## agokcen (Jan 3, 2010)

indigocrystal said:


> Grey,
> 
> If you have specific examples I would greatly appreciate them!
> 
> ...


Grey is a type 8, actually. It's interesting, because she's INTJ; in fact, I'm a 5, yet I'm ENTP. Ah, MBTI/Enneagram discrepancies....It just goes to show you that they aren't perfectly correlating systems.

I agree with Grey that you sound like an xNFJ, given your functional preferences. You seem to like Fe an awful lot, and you say you also like Ni; ENFJ would explain, too, your apparent liking for Se. If you're still confused about functions, try this: http://personalitycafe.com/personality-test-resources/204-function-analysis-test.html. The tests both tell you your preferences and help to explain what each preference entails.

Also, I doubt that even a big event could change one's type that much. It may change your surface interests and perhaps, in Enneagram terms, move you toward or away from your integration/disintegration points, but I don't think it would change you from an ESTP to an INFJ, or a type 8 to a type 4, or anything like that.


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## indigocrystal (Mar 14, 2010)

Tucken,

The info. in the link you sent me is quite complex! 

Upon reading the information twice, this is what I've come up with:

I can relate to the perfectionist. However, my need for perfection was survival skill and the desire to get things quickly as a child. My mom saw me as intelligent and she pushed me to succeed. i also pushed myself for the sake of her love. Now I simply enjoy the process of being where I am today knowing that that's just who/where I am supposed to be  I was always very critical of myself. I have very high standards for myself...and high moral standards for everyone I am close to (as well as myself). If I make a promise...it is important to me to keep it. 

I am not sue I understand what is being said regarding the independent? I do over give often...in order to be loved. (It is all about approval for survival with me.) I have known some twos though and I do not give the ways they do! I may feel guilty if I do not give...then I withdraw. (I withdraw frequently from people. I withdraw because I need time to myself, I feel overwhelmed by the strong connection I make with other people's emotions, I feel they need me too much, etc. I personally think that is opposite of twos from what I've read. But I am here to gain a deeper understanding of these numbers...so please tell me if I'm missing!) 

I am not a "efficient". (I think we can all agree on this!)  I could care less about ambition  I do have a special place in my heart for 3's though as I believe my Grandma is a 3.

The description of reasoner here seems to fit if I am understanding it correctly. Becoming indecisive and going to the point of reasoning (or am I reading about 5's now?) In any case...whenever I have become indecisive in the past, I have tried to find the meaning in the choice I need to make, figure out how I feel and what I think, and make a decision that way. (Nowadays, I tell myself I can trust my decisions and I have re-developed my sense of intuition ...something I dropped as a child. I have strong intuitions about things!)

I don't feel I relate to the description written in this link for the observer. I thought I had some observer in me because I don't need many belongings to be happy, I go inside my head often, I love to research...I suppose I need more information here though!

I do not understand the description for the adventurer very well at all. Does the adventurer plan because they are anxious? Are they seeking adventure? Please point me in the right direction 

Hmm, I'm not grasping the Idealist description at all. 

I feel like I'm only picking up bits and pieces of the descriptions now. I want people to have peace, but I do not want everyone to have "justice" or to be "punished for wrongdoings". I want people to learn and to grow...and I have compassion for people who commit horrible acts. (They must have been hurting deeply to commit the crimes they do...I wish they didn't have to hurt. I do NOT condone harmful behavior, and I certainly do not wish to be harmed...but I do feel that if someone is hateful/harmful, they need love and compassion...and forgiveness. This is something I have developed through my experiences in life.)

I do feel strongly about morals but I I am not sure about becoming a nonconformist. I have done a thing or two where I rebelled in my own way, but I do not see this an overwhelming trait. (I doubt though that we always see ourselves clearly all the time, so I thought I should mention it.)

The more I learn, the less understanding I feel I have!  

Thanks again for the help!

Light and love,

Indigo


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## Tucken (Dec 13, 2009)

indigocrystal said:


> Tucken,
> 
> The info. in the link you sent me is quite complex!


Yes indeed, I warned you!^^



indigocrystal said:


> The more I learn, the less understanding I feel I have!
> 
> Thanks again for the help!
> 
> ...


I'm sorry:tongue: It's basically a description of each types fixation/imbalance and how it shows! 
Each type have a fixation. They are overly-perfectionistic/independent etc.
So if you recognize your behaviour/fixation in one of the descriptions that is a very good hint. 

Here is 4:
"The reasoner starts efficiently, the ac- 
tive, then when things are not going well, he 
moves to the point of observation, the attrac 
tive. Becoming indecisive, the function, he 
goes to his point of reasoning endlessly, the 
result."
In effect, it says that 4s think things over and over and over and over and... again when they run into trouble(are hurt). (Making 4 over-reasoners)

6:
The adventurer starts being an acute ob- 
server who finds that things are not correct 
and can be improved, the active. From this 
point he tries idealistic plans, the attractive. 
Exhausted by the process of planning, the 
function, he will put himself in some adven- 
ture, the result, that is certainly his principal 
fascination.
It says 6s see injustices by default and tries to make things better following their ideals. The 'function' is thinking/planning back and forth>exhaustion> adventure 

It's complicated but you will generally recognize your own 'movement'. It's easy to misstype yourself following only type descriptions, you must see to the fixations to make sure! My own description as an overly nonconformist really struck me. My friends tell me all the time that I simply can't agree with what they say. "Yeah yeah you just have to disagree. If I say yes, you say no."

So, hopefully you will recognize one behaviour in yourself, or have your husband help you out.

Oh and i'll add what I think. Because I can't hold myself:tongue:.
I think you're a 4. My mother is a 4 and she says things like "Light and love" all the time. 
My 6 sibling(counter phobic) wouldn't say that, ever. 
That's my very unscientific suspicion ^^;


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## indigocrystal (Mar 14, 2010)

I definitely over-think things, no doubt about it!!

I'm still not getting the "6" fixation though... :tongue: is it that they make decisions and then go back forth and become exhausted? What does planning mean? (Sorry to seem so dense!) :blushed:

Thanks for your opinion  I have to confess, I'm still not quite convinced. I need a better understanding of the fixations, etc...I do feel I'm getting closer tho!

Light and Love,

Indigo

P.S. I thought it would be a 9 to say Love and Light....when I say this, for me it means that you should have self-love, give love to others, and feel the energy light surround you always. (Do you know what it means to your mom?) Thanks again!


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## Tucken (Dec 13, 2009)

indigocrystal said:


> I definitely over-think things, no doubt about it!!
> 
> I'm still not getting the "6" fixation though... :tongue: is it that they make decisions and then go back forth and become exhausted? What does planning mean? (Sorry to seem so dense!) :blushed:
> 
> ...


I'm not too sure about the 6 either. Maybe there's a 6 around to explain it. Their adventurous side is sometimes explained as a ping-pong ball. They think they need an adventure, and then they think they've had enough, until they grow restless and the cycle repeats itself. 
The planning/thinking part resolves around fear. Possibly subconcious. They observ everything and see everything as threatening. So they also overthing, but in a different manner. Did you read the missidentification stickes? It could help you between 4 and 6.

About "love and light"- I think it's too 'hippie' for nines =P. We want peace and more importantly peace of mind. Saying such _outrageous_ hippielike things would be very attentiongrabbing and make the most stable nine feel uncomfortable! 
I think my mother would have said pretty much the same thing you just did. It confuses me each time:sad:


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## indigocrystal (Mar 14, 2010)

That's incredibly fascinating about 4's and 9's and light and love lol 

Yes, I would love to hear from a six! It's still quite confusing (and 4's as well btw!) Or anyone else who wants to add their side of the story  

i definitely have fears of being hurt in the ways I was as a child often. Does that count? I know I am a fearful person.....but it seems to me both 4's and 6's have many anxieties...

Off to check out these stickies you mentioned, thanks 

Love and Light (or just "good day"?) 

Indigo


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## Tucken (Dec 13, 2009)

indigocrystal said:


> That's incredibly fascinating about 4's and 9's and light and love lol
> 
> Yes, I would love to hear from a six! It's still quite confusing (and 4's as well btw!) Or anyone else who wants to add their side of the story
> 
> ...


Good day is fine =) Good luck!


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