# The Tormented Netflix Film Critic Thread



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

So up until June, my favorite internet pastime was writing film reviews on Netflix. Then they completely anonymized the film review process and normalized the "helpfuls".

This thread is for amateur film critics who have lost their outlet (Netflix) for writing thoughtful (and/or sarcastic) film reviews.

It's also a place to discuss reviewed films and agree/disagree with reviewers.


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides*

On Stranger Tides is like beating a dead horse with a Nerf baseball bat...it's idiotic and impotent. The cash cow should have been allowed to rest in peace after the disgracefully awful 4th-grade play known as At World's End.

This film has four positives: the brief but beautiful romantic screen relationship between the cleric Philip (Sam Claflin) and the mermaid Syrena (Astrid Berges-Frisbey), the stellar camera-work, the crisp sound effects, and the credits. I'm not being sarcastic by mentioning the credits...I was profoundly relieved it was over because I hated the film but also because I desperately wanted to hear Hans Zimmer's life-alteringly awesome score in its pure form.

At World's End may have been epically horrid, but this film takes horrid to new depths. This film also shows me that Gore Verbinski was truly a great director. Although writers Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio mercilessly thrashed the 3rd and 4th films, Rob Marshall successfully destroyed Verbinski's perfect pacing from the first 3 films...an impressive feat.

In a vain attempt at dramatic realism, this film moves nauseatingly slowly through unbelievably boring scene after unbelievably boring scene. The writers decided to have Jack and Gibbs sober for the whole film. Jack is much less entertaining, Gibbs/Barbossa/Angelica are all downright somnolent, and Blackbeard is as scary as Mr. Rogers (jokes aside).

Dialogue in this film is insipid and trite...a waste of paper and a waste of our time. The plot goes from brainless and uncreative point to randomly nonsensical and silly twist. The majority of this film is spent in the dark of night and in dimly lit caves...cinematography is dismal and gray. Choreography is bad, too. Apart from a few competent portions of certain swordfights, action is mostly abrupt cuts.

Even if you loved the third film, I can almost guarantee you will hate this film. It is an unforgivable insult to Pirates fans everywhere. I want my $10.75 back! (Film seen on 05/20/11 and 05/28/11)


_Review written 05/22/2011_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows*

A Game of Shadows felt like a two-hour explanation from my ADHD nephew on the disparate plot elements of his latest Xbox game...and I've just insulted my nephew by the comparison. The only obvious shadow I saw during the film was the shadow on my watch as I desperately tried to find out how much longer my pain would last.

I considered the first film to be one of the brilliant films of 2009. I gleefully saw it three times on the big screen...THREE times. This film felt like the leftovers. Eye candy and ear candy is great for a short stay but give it two hours with no real meat and you'll have a serious tummy-ache.

Zimmer tops his own film score with an extension in GoS that is mind-blowing. The sound effects are, in a word, flawless. And there is a plethora of absolutely gorgeous shots of the countryside and CGI shots (impeccable ones, at that) of what the world might have looked like 120 years ago. And usually I fucking hate CGI.

You know a story is poorly written when the actors and actresses are less convinced than you. When they stare at each other blankly, as if trying to silence their inner film critic who is mercilessly screaming, "This is complete shit!" I couldn't explain it if I tried. Nothing went over my head. But nothing made sense, either. If I tried to explain it, I'd get one question over and over and over, "WHY???"

So many things are left unexplained. Plot elements are sold to the audience as significant and important and then never explained...never explored...as if they changed the writing team halfway through the film.

The horror of the story is the reason I forgive some of the mannequinesque acting. It's difficult to give an authentic performance when you have no idea what you are doing or why you are doing it.

The first film gave us the impression that Moriarty was an evil genius...someone with whom one shant trifle. Moriarty's cunning made Lord Blackwood seem like a court jester. And as it stood, Blackwood's motives and manner made total and complete sense from beginning to end...fitting together perfectly. Well, that was the first film.

GoS made Moriarty (Jared Harris) seem like a boring math professor whose primary drive in life is to...WHAT??? What the fuck was the point? What the hell was Moriarty's motive? The whole damn film makes no sense whatsoever. While his motive is revealed towards the end of the film, it's laughable...it's a joke.

And then they rely on what-were-original antics from the first film but have now just become hackneyed tricks...e.g. Holmes planning his attack on his enemy in his mind. I think they did it 4-5 times in GoS. It was laughable in the first film but it fit with the John Woo-style Holmes action. In this film it just got silly.

And Holmes personal antics, while cute in the first film and well-executed, are utterly inane in GoS. The things he does are just idiotic. They make no sense and almost nothing he does leads toward any particular goal or purpose...at least not one that's relevant.

And when his actions do lead toward a goal, they are absurdly improbable...bordering on impossible...and not in an engaging or brilliant way. His conflict with Moriarty is (literally) like a chess game between two dorks...that no one in school wants to watch.

And the bromance between Law and Downey Jr...FFS it's not cute anymore! It was cute in the first film but now it's just stupid...stupid stupid stupid. And they spend 300% more time on it in this film. In fact they spend ~300% more time on personal shit throughout the film.

The plot twists (if you can call them that) amount to the writers throwing darts at a board with rogue pictures of film studio executives and deciding which one of their "helpful" forced-Jack-Donaghy ideas would work the least badly. The twists are just stupid. The first film was fantastically ridiculous. This film is just ridiculous...without the fantastic.

If you hadn't guessed by now, I fucking hated this film. I want my $11.00 back but, more importantly, I want my Saturday night back! The longest two hours of my 2011.

And since this isn't Netflix, I give it ZERO stars! Okay, two stars for the eye candy and ear candy...only.

_Review Written 12/17/2011_


----------



## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

I will probably contribute at some point.


----------



## Proteus (Mar 5, 2010)

approves of this thread


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*Inception*

Oh, sure, it's pretty. Oh, sure, it's well-choreographed. Oh, sure, it has an awesome Hans Zimmer score. But when you are used to Nolan films being psychologically complicated, mind-blowing, and full of real plot twists, this movie seems like it was written and directed by someone else!

I am one of Nolan's biggest fans: Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, Memento, The Prestige...these are some of my favorite films. Maybe that's why I had less patience with what amounted to a ridiculous, intellectually low-budget film.

Someone asked me if I didn't like it because I couldn't follow it. I said it was the opposite: I could follow it without even using my brain because it was so ridiculously transparent EVERY STEP OF THE WAY.

There was no depth. The character development was silly...watch out for DiCaprio's crazy/jealous dead wife while roaming around in someone else's brain...sure, that makes perfect sense. Even the sci-fi genius Gene Roddenberry would be like: WTF?

In all fairness, part of my disappointment may have come from having months before seen Shutter Island, a film where DiCaprio is absolutely moving. Now in this film he's just silly. They're all silly. It's a plot that is easily dissected, doesn't care about itself, and isn't even faithful to its own crazy universe.

I'm sorry but the Nolans spent WAY too much time, energy, and dollars on this film. It's not the actors' fault that they can't be authentic with a film they probably don't care about.

In the end, I'm most stunned by the fact that 60-70% of the people who saw this film loved it. I feel like maybe I slept through it and dreamt up the film that I'm reviewing. Perhaps the top is still spinning in my own mind?


_Review Written 02/27/2011_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*The Punisher (2004) - 1.5 stars out of 5*

I waited 7 years to watch this film...I should have waited seven more.

On the one hand, the general darkness of the story and the whole vigilante-vengeance thing is completely appealing. But for that to work, your leading man/woman needs to be angrier than Commander Data (off his emotion chip). Thomas Jane has about as much sincere emotion as Siri.

The story was...okay...for the first hour but then they just did the same thing over and over again to fill 60 minutes. Different people attack The Punisher. He gets the shit beat out of him but somehow wins. The cycle continues.

There were several well-choreographed fight scenes but, TBH, it was a bit too violent for me. The violence was less a component of a gritty story (in which case I'd have abounding tolerance) than an attempt to appeal to the bright-orange-diarrhea-looking-vegetable-oil-coated-microwave-popcorn-eating yokels who get a cheap eyegasm from seeing torture scenes. It was shock and awe in a film with nothing else to offer.

While I didn't passionately hate the film, I laughed far more than I should have for a film that is intended to be taken seriously. It's pretty useless. Add it to the ever-growing list of failed comic book films from the past decade.

*The best part* was the epic So Far Away (Staind) that they played during the trailer 7 years ago, as well as the songs during the credits (Broken by Seether/Amy Lee and Eyes Wired Shut by Edgewater).

Red envelope's in the mail.


_Review Written 12/21/2011_


----------



## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

I'm just wondering if there are any movies out there you DID like.
(I guess there's always more to say when one doesn't like something, though. And there's a certain art to negative criticism that can be quite delicious to indulge in.)


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

Jennywocky said:


> I'm just wondering if there are any movies out there you DID like.
> (I guess there's always more to say when one doesn't like something, though. And there's a certain art to negative criticism that can be quite delicious to indulge in.)


So that you don't think I have a personality disorder...


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*Hearts in Atlantis (2001) - 5 stars out of 5*

This film successfully (and bizarrely) combines a fantastically literal take on 1960's American Cold War conspiracy theory, authentically tearful and heartwarming tones, spectacularly beautiful cinematography, and superb acting...all to create a most unusual masterpiece.

I will admit there are certain aspects of Stephen King's story that I actually find quite annoying or even silly, but the perfection from all other categories completely overwhelms my intellectual dissonance. The coalescence of the sheer beauty of the film with the thoroughly mesmerizing acting makes me truly sad to see it end.

The child in this film (Anton Yelchin) and his girl-friend (Mika Boorem) create an exceptionally moving (and painfully sad) tween romance of such purity and innonence that it makes you desperately long to be that young (and innocent) again.

Hopkins comes in as the odd stranger living in the upstairs apartment who quickly becomes the father (perhaps grandfather) figure in Yelchin's life. Through his enigmatic combination of gentleness and mysterious terseness, Hopkins succeeds in creating an eerie suspense of totally unknown origin.

Hope Davis plays the child's mother in the film: a chasmically conflicted woman who is relentlessly obsessed with furthering her career (at the exclusion of her son) but also desperate to be a good single mother.

When you distill the very disparate elements of this film, you find that it is primarily about the boy's relationships with archetypes: mother, father (i.e. paternal figure...Hopkins), girl-friend, friends, and bullies. At the end, though you are left with some irritating unanswered questions, you are given a conclusion in the boy's cementing his position in all of those relationships...in how he relates to those archetypes.

It's a fascinating film. The story is...strange...and the oddness is totally unnecessary, but the primary purpose of the movie is fully achieved. Great film...just shut off your logical mind for 1:40.


_Review Written 04/03/2011_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*The Machinist (2004) - 5 stars out of 5*

This might be the most amazing film I have ever seen. It is certainly Bale's finest performance...glaring proof of his supreme talent and supreme devotion to his craft.

It is also one of the most HIGHLY disturbing films I have ever seen...to put it mildly. I considered turning it off partway through (actually, several times), but I'm glad I didn't. Everything from Bale's painfully gaunt appearance (an amazing feat), to the choices of buildings, places, vehicles, people, the dialogue, the moods, the music...EVERYTHING in this film reflects the considerable passion of every person involved in its production.

To call this a psychological film or a complex film is a major understatement. This film has so many layers, so much depth, so much complexity, so much character development, that you are left speechless at the end. In a way, you are THRILLED it's over and everything is finally resolved and made right.

I can't really give a whole lot of details without spoiling the phenomenal story. There is no doubt that every person can relate to what Bale's character goes through...albeit at varying levels of intensity. The suspense is almost unbearable at times...you just don't know what he is going to do next (and whether it will severely disturb you). If you have the stomach for it, this film is utterly mind-blowing. 


_Review Written 03/28/2011_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*Sherlock Holmes (2009) - 5 stars out of 5*

Before I even get to the review, you loyal, literarily-leaning Sherlock Holmes fans need to understand something: this is NOT meant to be a faithful telling of the traditional story of Sherlock Holmes!

This film is an attempt to start a new film-franchise based on superb acting, John Woo-style action sequences, and general suspense. This is not a cerebral film! If you go into the film accepting those facts, you should not be disappointed.

The, as-I-call-it, John Woo-style action sequences of this film are just awesome! They are nearly constant with witty humor and intrigue stuffed in-between. Downey Jr.'s creation of a new character: a bipolar, intellectual, martial-arts mastering, whimsical, eccentric, sarcastic, brooding Holmes is phenomenal. The other actors who come along for the ride: Law, McAdams, and Strong, all do a splendid job creating their own characters.

This film entertains you with wit and innuendo, then keeps you on the edge of your seat with action. Oh, and let's not forget: it's a well-known scientific fact that a Hans Zimmer score will make a good film GREAT! The music (including the little number from the Dubliners) is fantastic. Zimmer makes good films great and he also makes bad films good: I'm thinking Pirates of the Caribbean 2 & 3, both of which were largely awful, and yet his scores somehow make the films watchable.

So, all-in-all, if you understand you're watching an action film set in the late 19th century with humor and intrigue and a great score, you should love this film! 


_Review Written 02/27/2011_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) - 5 stars out of 5*

This film sets the benchmark for all swashbuckling films to be made after it.

Johnny Depp is absolutely, indescribably awesome as Captain Jack Sparrow. His character is highly original, hilarious, and surprisingly human and relatable (for a pirate). 

Geoffrey Rush is amazing in his role of Captain Barbossa, as well. He is the perfect villain. I swear he is more comfortable being a pirate than himself...same goes for Depp.

For me, this movie is Depp, Rush, a bit of Kevin McNally, and Hans Zimmer's all-time best film score...everything else goes along for the ride. Everybody else does a fine job, but it's like comparing a Ferrari (Depp) and a Lamborghini (Rush) against normally great Mustangs and Camaros...the latter fall flat when put in comparison to the best.

The original score is phenomenal. This is one of a few films where I will GLADLY sit through the whole credits (with the volume up too loud) just to enjoy it at full-bore...I'll even repeat it sometimes!

Of course, every film has its flaws and this film is no exception. How Jack Sparrow slid down a rope wearing irons and then jumped off before the rope ended...I will never understand...he's so awesome he can go through solid rope, I guess?

I could have also had a lot less CGI fantasy and a few more Bruckheimer mind-blowing action/fight scenes. But all-in-all, this goes down as one of my favorite PG-13 action films. I've seen it probably 10 times and can still sit through it periodically...it's that entertaining.


_Review Written 03/20/2011_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*Star Trek (2009) - 5 stars out of 5*

I saw this film in the theater. I must admit, my initial reaction to a reboot of the vaunted Star Trek films was one of disgust...no William Shatner? No Leonard Nimoy? No DeForest Kelley? They must be joking! You can imagine my surprise when I walk out of the theater feeling like Ive just seen the best Star Trek film of all time!

The acting was superb...just superb. Chris Pine, though not a William Shatner look-a-like-act-a-like, freaking ROCKS as Kirk. He makes you love the Kirk character all over again and in a new way.

Some of the other actors' attempts to portray the original cast are simply mindblowing: Zachary Quinto as Spock and Karl Urban as Bones. The other actors were less act-a-like than their respective characters but, like Pine, they reinvented their character and made them their own beautifully.

Frankly, I have almost nothing negative to say about this film. There are a few plot elements that border on unbelievable (I'm talking about the storyline...not the fact that they fly through space at faster-than-light speeds and vaporize strange aliens with ray guns). Those unbelieveable plot elements really don't hurt the film and they are, in fact, necessary to accomplish a full reboot in one film.

I also think Winona Ryder was a bizarre cast for Spock's mother, but she certainly didn't hurt the film. I also wish they had spent a little more time developing certain characters...I'm specifically thinking about Spock's relationship with his father Sarek (Ben Cross), which is far more complicated than they left time to explore.

P.S. It was a good call to put Leonard Nimoy in the film. He added to it, bringing a nostalgia for the original cast, without stealing the show. I seriously doubt Shatner, with his incredible screen presence, could have had a cameo without it seeming like a show-stealer.

Highly recommended for Star Trek fans and even sci-fi haters looking to boldly go into new frontiers.


_Review Written 02/27/2011_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*Secret Window (2004) - 5 stars out of 5*

What do you get when you combine a brilliant Stephen King story, an introverted and dramatic Johnny Depp, a terrifying sathuna (READ: southerner) in John Turturro, and a disturbingly tense score by Philip Glass? You get one creepy film!

Secret Window is both emotionally disturbing and psychologically eerie. Depp's performance is great, as always, and Turturro is one of the scariest southerners I have seen in film.

Much like Japanese horror flicks (i.e. The Grudge, The Ring), this film relies on minimal violence and gore to achieve its purpose. Instead, it elicits profound psychological unrest...for a full hour and a half. This perpetual suspense is aided by Glass' thrilling score.

Mort Rainey (Depp), our iffy protagonist, is a troubled writer in the midst of a nasty divorce. He seems to be guilty of a crime against our furious antagonist Shooter (Turturro). Shooter wants revenge against Mort...although his version of revenge, in terms of what he wants, is pretty mild.

What is NOT mild is the building series of horrific things Shooter does to Mort...as if to continually remind Mort that he is serious. Clearly, the man doing these horrible things is insane.

Although Depp and Turturro are fantastic, most of the other actors are somewhat tepid. They seem only partially committed to their characters. Luckily, most of this film is focused on Depp, so the others' tepid performances don't really hurt the film.

Leave it to a Stephen King story to have multiple layers and multiple objectives...all achieved beautifully. If you appreciate psychological films, you should enjoy this film. Highly recommended. 


_Review Written 04/10/2011_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*Solitary Man (2009) - 5 stars out of 5*

Outstanding...absolutely outstanding. Michael Douglas' painstakingly accurate portrayal of the rise and fall of an ENTJ personality (well, no rise and only the tail-end of the fall).

Apart from the somewhat disturbing sex scene with a purported 18-year old, this movie is fantastic. His stellar acting in this movie proves a theory I've had: Oliver Stone did him a disservice with Wall Street Money Never Sleeps. The questionable and somewhat unbelievable acting in that movie (from all characters) made me question if Douglas was losing his edge. This movie settled that question. No, indeed Stone was at fault and not Douglas. Money Never Sleeps could have easily had all the edge of the first film (at least as far as Douglas' acting is concerned).

Back to Solitary Man, this film is brilliantly executed. If you've ever felt like your best years were behind you (and even your mediocre years were behind you), this film will move you. Highly recommended.


_Review Written 01/24/2011_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*That's What I Am (2011) - 5 stars out of 5*

That's What I Am is a standard coming-of-age film with some non-standard plot elements. The main character Andy Nichol (Ellison) spends 8th grade becoming a man, learning right from wrong, and discovering his place in the world.

The acting is phenomenal, particularly on the part of a relatively unimportant supporting character Norman Gunmeyer (Yelsky). As a friend to Ellison's character, Yelsky plays his character with striking conviction and authenticity.

The cinematography is very good. Everything is vivid and the filmmakers went to great lengths to accurately portray the 1960's. I laughed out loud at many of the things Andy and his cohorts experience because they conjure up experiences of my own from that age...albeit 1990's versions.

The film kind of goes off on a plot tangent, trying to preach a message that comes across as weak and ambiguous due to the film's inability to settle on a primary theme. However, the acting and well-written lines compensate for this shortcoming. This is a great film. Highly recommended.


_Review Written 05/23/2011_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*Unthinkable (2010) - 5 stars out of 5*

This incredible but fairly disturbing film poses some questions: how much torture or coercion is justified in light of a potential terrorist threat to the American homeland? Is it acceptable to torture or coerce a suspected terrorist even when proof is lacking?

I really don't think this film seeks to nail down the answers but rather to facilitate the full analysis of all facets of the questions by the audience. Through graphic and extremely realistic visual depictions of the entire process, the viewer is able to come to an opinion on the subject all on their own.

The insanely complex but highly coherent story in this film leaves you guessing...jumping from conclusion to conclusion...until the end.

The acting is absolutely superb, especially on the parts of Michael Sheen (suspected terrorist), Samuel L. Jackson (specialist interrogator), and Carrie-Anne Moss (ranking FBI Agent). You genuinely believe, understand, and relate to aspects of each character. 

There are no real protagonists in this film...everyone's an antagonist in one way of thinking or another. The torture doesn't approach Saw/Hostel level, although the psychological component is probably the more disturbing faculty.

When the film ends, it fails to answer a minor question but I suppose by its ending without addressing said topic, it implies an answer to the viewer. This is a GREAT film. I highly recommend it.


_Review Written 04/10/2011_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

...and just because I have knocked the universe out of balance now...


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*Valentine's Day (2010) - 0 stars out of 5*

Once in a generation a film comes along that inspires you, moves you, and causes you to just say, "Wow." Yeah, so this wasn't one of those films.

I usually despise ensemble films but in all fairness, I passionately hated this film slightly less than expected.

It had some highly redeemable components: the cute Taylor Swift song at the end, the fact that it ended after an unbelievably long two hours, and...oh yeah, the brief blooper reel during the credits was pretty funny.

I ask myself, "Why did you put this in your queue???" Perhaps it's because this is one of the few big films from 2010 that I did not see in the theaters.

Perhaps it's because I've loved Jessica Alba to an almost creepy degree since I discovered her during Season 1 of Dark Angel (that's right...I'm the one who discovered her and no one else. I have clippings of her hair and fingernails).

Or maybe it's a simple bonehead mis-click after a drowsy-drunk late-night movie-viewing that I (stupidly) failed to notice in my queue on any subsequent occasions. I'll let you guess (I'll give you a hint...I'm not obsessed with Alba).

Regardless of the cause, I got it and sat through the entire thing...all two hours of it. Sarcasm aside (and you need a telephone pole to wade through it at this point in the review), they could have made a cute, heart-warming, INEXPENSIVE romantic comedy comprising Ashton Kutcher and Jessica Alba and I'm not just saying that because I love the smell of Alba's hair clippings.

In this mish-mash of unrepentant horrible casting and embarassingly lame lines, those two actually had the best screen chemistry of the bunch...and that's not saying much! I can't say it enough: this movie is horrid and not worth five seconds of your time!


_Review Written 02/22/2011_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009) - 0 stars out of 5*

In all fairness, haven't we all struggled with competing desires for disparate lovers at some point in our lives?

I mean think about it...on the one hand you have the conflicted deep waters of the cold and cerebral Edward Cullen...mysterious and alluring. On the other hand, you have the raw passion and sensuality of the loyal and devoted Jacob Black. I mean, really, who would YOU choose?

Personally, and this is just me, I would spend 2:10 thinking it over while I ponder on what else I could have spent $10.75. Perhaps I could have flushed it down the toilet in the theater bathroom...surely, the swirling water would have brought more entertainment than the horrendous film. Okay, that IS an exaggeration.

For a film mostly about dead people and their relatives, the acting is spot-on.


_Review Written 11/22/2010_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*The Last Airbender (2010) - 0 stars out of 5*

The first time in my LIFE that I've walked out of a movie I paid $11 to see. I've never laughed in a theater at a non-comedy film.

I couldn't stop laughing...it was uncontrollable...I kept trying to play it off as coughing but when the laughing became non-stop, it was time to get out of there or risk deeply offending the 2 or 3 people who were actually enjoying the film.

Even other people in the theater were giggling at the dialogue. It was like watching a 3rd-grade play and that's an unwarranted insult to 3rd-graders everywhere.

This is officially the worst film I have ever seen...from the man who brought us awesome flicks like The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, and Signs. He needs a serious vacation before making his next film...and possibly an MRI.


_Review Written 10/24/2010_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*The Expendables (2010) - 0 stars out of 5*

The Expendables is nothing short of extraordinary. This film has a plethora of actors and all of them, without exception, portray different characters.

There are humorous elements throughout the film and the characters help you recognize these episodes by laughing or smiling, appropriate to context.

The story uses a unique and ingenious combination of beginning, middle and end, with each section coming along in perfect chronological order.

The screenplay is superbly written, implementing advanced word-processing modalities as well as crisp, white Office Depot paper.

The camera-work is sublime...almost all scenes are in focus and in color.

Cinematography is so varied that each scene actually looks slightly different than the previous scene.

Choreography is top-notch...people move their arms quite often and even their legs at times...at some points they even move them together in skillfully coordinated fashion.

The soundtrack effectively combines melodic, harmonic, and dissonant tones to create what can only effectively be called a film score. 

My favorite part is the scene in the car, when Stallone is driving and Statham is in the passenger seat. Stallone and Statham do a phenomenal job portraying, in genuinely believable and heartfelt terms, both the driver and passenger archetypes, due to their thorough understanding of the art and discipline of driving.

Unquestionably, every viewer can relate to what both of them experience...we've ALL been there...we've all been the driver and we've all been the passenger at various times in our lives...when we've been in cars.

The car scene is truly moving...in the way the car drives down the road from point A to point B to point C. I can't say enough about it. 

Well, there you have it. This film is one of the most...just...WOW...films I have ever seen. Yeah, so my mom taught me if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. This film review is my attempt to honor her wishes. 


_Review Written 05/22/2011_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*Ca$h (2010) - 0 stars out of 5*

You know, when I see a film like this, it's a solemn reminder that even good actors have bills to pay. Very early in the film there's a split-screen scene between Sean Bean and Sean Bean's twin-brother Sean Bean...upon seeing this scene, I said to myself, "I've made a terrible mistake." My premonition of cinematic malfeasance was proven in the following hour and forty minutes.

This film also reminded me never to say never. I never thought a Sean Bean bad guy movie could be lame...boy, was I wrong.

I suspect this film is the collaborative work of a Matlock producer and a CPA screenwriter. The endless inane repetition of dollars and cents is utterly mind-numbing. The bizarre form of stockholm syndrome that colors the last 1/3 of this film is downright silly.

Positive points...positive points...um, the short scene with Victoria Profeta in a bra and panties? The line when Sean Bean called the loan officer Dink (his name was Dale)?

Oh, and a few pretty scenes: shots of a sunrise, downtown Chicago, a plane flying over a green field...those were nice. Oh and the scene where Bean lifts the bed in a sleazy motel room and the carpet underneath is a drastically different color...that was hilarious, although this film is not supposed to be a comedy.

Yeah, so this DVD would be truly awesome...hanging from your rear-view mirror.

P.S. They ruined a beautiful table and a gorgeous black Lincoln Town Car...shame on them.


_Review Written 03/19/2011_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*Mission:Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011) - 4.5 stars out of 5*

After a long dry spell, Hollywood decides to scare the shitty complacency out of us by producing an action-suspense flick that is actually serviceable.

I saw this film in an AMC IMAX theater and sat dead-center front row, as I like to do. I actually felt like I was part of the action, so to speak.

The film doesn't fuck around. It starts out with some great suspenseful action and from there the stunts and thrills are incredible. I honestly don't know where the stunts end and CGI begins. The film was done that well...exceptionally crafted.

And the stunts...my god were they awesome. A scene outside (ON) the Burj Khalifa is fucking awesome. If you don't know, the Burj Khalifa is the tallest building on earth at over 2,700 ft (almost 830m) tall.

Tom Cruise resisted his tendency to overact in this film...much as he resisted in similar fashion in Knight and Day. Actually, his acting has improved incrementally with each MI film...an enjoyable process to observe. I partially link that to the continual changing of asses in the director chair and the new production team in MI4, with Abrams as Producer instead of Director, although I considered MI3 far superior to the ADHD MI1 and Diet Caffeine Free MI2.

Cruise costars with Jeremy Renner (DoD Analyst-turned-IMF Field Agent), Simon Pegg reprising his role from MI3 (IMF Agent / techy geek / comic relief), and the IMAX-MAKES-FOR-WOW eye-poppingly gorgeous Paula Patton (IMF Field Agent / kick-assery / eye-candy).

Pegg's performance is flawless and Patton's is adequate but Renner, though an impressive action star, fumbles a bit when dealing with some dramatic scenes. He almost comes across like he's trying to figure out how to be sad as they film...like he's incapable of doing it. He does anger quite well, though.

And let's not forget the goddess of the road: the intoxicatingly beautiful BMW I8 Concept, which appears far-too-briefly.

This film has some great cinematography. Shots are taken from killer (literally) angles on the Burj Khalifa, flying across the desert towards Dubai, and around downtown Dubai. These shots are stunning in IMAX.

Fight choreography, though imperfect, is far superior to most late action films. Although there were many abrupt cuts (Cruise's fist goes toward bad guy, just before the hit cut to Cruise's angry face with noise of fist hitting guy's face and guy "ouch"ing, and cut back to guy falling...AKA fast-food choreography), there were also shots of decent fight choreography. Frankly, even a 25-30% ratio for "good" fight choreography is better than movies like Salt, which have a 2-3% ratio!

The entire premise for the plot of 80% of the film is totally idiotic...i.e. something that would N-E-V-E-R be allowed to happen in the real world. But, FTW, it's a movie and I was too busy oohing and aahing to give a shit. The plot is almost irrelevant...this film is meant to be eye candy and ear candy and all that matters is the plot moves along logically...even if it's crazy...so you can follow along with the characters.

It's been a long year but to my knowledge, this is the best film I've seen on the big screen in 2011. I'll be seeing a midnight film on New Year's Eve, so we'll see if something tops it at the last minute...I rather doubt it.


_Review Written 12/25/2011_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*The Spy Next Door (2010) - 3 stars out of 5*

Not nearly as idiotic as I expected. I spent the first 20 minutes of this film resisting the urge to click "Back to Browsing". I'm truly neutral that I didn't.

Although the dramatic acting from most adults in this film was utterly pathetic, the three children were incredible.

The older daughter (Madeline Carroll) has a bright future ahead of her. Her performance was sincere and authentic.

The son (Will Shadley) was phenomenally expressive, although he did drift a bit out of character a few times...hey, he was 10 when they filmed.

And the younger daughter (Alina Foley) was absolutely adorable. Her tantrums were so real that I'm not sure if she was acting or having a real fit. There were some genuinely warm moments between Chan and Foley.

There was a story. It was vague and nonsensical. But the film is primarily about Chan's interaction with the children. Like most action stars, Chan is not a dramatic actor but he was...adequate...in this film, certainly better than Valletta or Lopez or the others.

And there were plenty of absurd Jackie Chan stunts. God, I hope I'm HALF that energetic when I'm 56.

I'm very proud to say that I don't recommend against this film. It's probably alright as a family film. If you've watched the 5-6 good comedies on Netflix, it's not entirely without merit, although you'd be better off watching Arrested Development Season 1 for the 43rd time.


_Review Written 12/27/2011_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*Thor (2011) - 3 stars out of 5*

Apart from the Nolan-Batman franchise, I expect virtually nothing from comic book superhero films in the 21st century. I'm not a comic book geek, so if you're not one, you can trust my opinion. Thor surpassed my expectation by delivering...a little.

By far, the best part of the film was the relationship between Thor (Chris Hemsworth) and Jane Foster (the beautiful Natalie Portman). Portman is not an extraverted feeler, although several directors (George Lucas, in particular) fucking idiotically insist on her portraying one and it's horrible. This film, like Black Swan, allowed Portman to shine, at least 50% of the time. That 50% involved her relationship with Thor.

Portman has this absolutely irresistible quiet charm...it is her single greatest asset as an actress. I'm stunned by her incredible power in silence and terseness...her ability to communicate so much deep feeling to the audience with so few words. It's truly an artform.

So, um, the rest of the film. Yeah, so Thor is a swaggering (overacting) heir to Odin's throne (Anthony Hopkins). Hopkins was okay in this film. Personally, I could have had about 80% less Hemsworth and 80% more Hopkins.

Thor's brother (Tom Hiddleston), living in his shadow, is clearly moody and conflicted from the beginning. Hiddleston's dramatic performance is actually pretty good. They try to avoid the hackneyed evil crazy/jealous younger brother bullshit but they end up trying way too hard and the progression of the plotline, in that respect, seems rather contrived...laughably so.

Apart from 50% of Portman's performance, the other positive in the film is some of the action. A fight scene between Thor (and Co.) and the creepy Frost Giants on the ice homeworld of Jotunheim is probably the most exciting scene in the film...really the only exciting scene.

I give it 3 stars. I was genuinely entertained for two hours...but just barely.

_Review Written 12/31/2011_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*Black Swan (2010) - 3 stars out of 5*

Black Swan is one of the most moving and powerful dramas I've seen...for the first hour.

Natalie Portman gives a phenomenal, world-class, painfully beautiful performance, no doubt exposing the dark side of the beloved ballet art-form. Mila Kunis, Barbara Hershey and Winona Ryder are all fantastic, as well.

During the first hour I could not take my eyes off of this film. I lost myself in the story, the tragedy, the heart and gut wrenching drama...and then Portman's character (and the Christopher-Nolan-wannabe Director) dropped Ecstasy and the film went completely nuts. The last 45 minutes of my time was spent desperately trying, to almost no avail, to discern the line between reality and her psychosis.

Suddenly the overwhelming tragedy, of a daughter trying desperately to live up to her mother's potential and escape the inescapable clutches of her philandering creep-of-a-boss, instead becomes a sick and thoroughly incoherent CGI nightmare that we the audience are forced to roll our eyes through.

If you don't mind watching part of a film, you might love the first hour of Black Swan...I certainly did. If you prefer watching a whole film, pass on it...the Academy Awards is a sham institution.

_Review Written 06/12/2011_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (2011) - 2.5 stars out of 5*

Let's start with the positive. The acting was fantastic from everyone...particularly when you consider that the story is absurd. The cinematography is hands-down the best I've seen from 2011. They could easily sell books with glossy still shots from the film...it's just that beautiful. And the ordeal Rooney Mara went through (getting her body pierced all over the place) to play Lisbeth Salander should get her some kind of special award.

Mara's performance is spectacular. It is an award-worthy performance. She loses herself in the Salander character. Salander is severely damaged and at the same time her character is one of the most (aesthetically and emotionally) beautiful characters I've seen. Mara is a goddess.

Mara is also a very brave woman. Beyond the piercings, she was nude so many times in this film that I lost count. Now (...gulp...), I'm not COMPLAINING about the nudity...she is...in a word...perfect. But...

THIS FILM SHOULD HAVE BEEN RATED NC-17! The degree and scope of nudity in this film is beyond the R rating and the rape scene...well, I almost walked out. The rape scene was, by far, the most disturbing rape scene I've seen in a film. There is a follow-up to the rape scene where the tables are turned and that is...equally disturbing.

Frankly, if it had been properly rated as NC-17, I wouldn't have wasted my $11.00 because I would have expected it to be disturbing.

In any event, the rape scene comes and goes and the film gets back to the story. The sad part is the story is probably fairly brilliant. From what little pieces I gleaned, it's quite crafty. But the execution...the screenplay...is useless.

The film is like watching a really hot computer geek fix your computer. You have no fucking clue what the hell he is doing but you at least enjoy the visuals. Craig's investigation shows him having repeated epiphanies...that are COMPLETELY UNEXPLAINED to the audience.

I couldn't follow the story because they throw a trillion details at you without explaining their significance. And many things are just not explained at all. It's not enough to have killer shots from killer angles of Craig studying photos and pages in books...you need to FUCKING EXPLAIN TO THE AUDIENCE WHY IT'S SIGNIFICANT! I'm not 5 years old...I need more than visuals to be entertained.

The last 30 minutes are...fucking idiotic. And the film doesn't end the way the audience would expect...which would have made me push it to 3 stars. The ending is stupid for the sake of being original...for the sake of being artistic.

If you must see it, wait for the DVD/streaming and fucking fast-forward through the rape scene and follow-up scene. No one should have those disgusting images and piercing sounds floating around in their minds. The Director is a sick fuck.


_Review Written 01/01/2012_


----------



## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

@Popinjay

Brad Bird did indeed do an excellent job directing Mission Impossible IV. The action scenes and correlating cinematography are top of the line. If I had any complaint towards that film, it would be the sound. Every gun shot was a cannon and every broken window a bomb.


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

JuliaRhys said:


> If I had any complaint towards that film, it would be the sound. Every gun shot was a cannon and every broken window a bomb.


I know exactly what you mean...a window shatters and the theater subwoofers kick in...which doesn't even make sense.


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*From Hell (2001) - 2 stars out of 5*

More aptly titled "What The Hell???", this fantasy drama posing as a historical drama spends the majority of its energy attempting to preempt film festival awards...such as most accurate 19th century lamp-posts.

My first 45 minutes were spent going, "Yeah...so?" My next 45 minutes were spent going, "AHHH! A mystery! I'm finally interested!" My last 30 minutes were spent going, "For the love of god..." And the ending...well, it might serve as a parody on Jack the Ripper films.

Although the logic of the story holds together, it's just silly. I felt like saying, "I hardly believe in ghost stories, Captain Barbossa." By combining thoroughly out-of-place fantasy elements with a historical drama / adaptation, this film becomes a total mess. The story is unbelievably scattered.

The film IS pretty...I'll give it that. If the story weren't so idiotic, I could see myself getting lost in the beauty and character of the film...great visuals.

The acting is reasonably good, as well, which impresses me considering the majority of the actors had to be saying, "What the fuck am I doing in this scene???"

Bottom-line: pass on it...unless you like odd fantasy dramas posing as historical dramas.


_Review Written 01/14/2012_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*Super 8 (2011) - 2 stars out of 5*

Competently asserting its mystery and innocence, this film locks in your attention effectively...for the first 60 minutes. The story is intriguing and by giving you very little information over a 60-minute period, the filmmakers succeed in keeping you interested. I was very pleasantly surprised to say I thoroughly enjoyed the first hour.

The young actors/actresses are fantastic and Kyle Chandler is believable and sincere as a bitterly angry and sorrowful widower / single parent / local police deputy. I also thoroughly enjoyed the nostalgia-inducing innocent romance between the widower's 13-year old son (Joel Courtney) and his would-be girlfriend (Elle Fanning).

Unfortunately, after the first hour the filmmakers take an array of jackhammers to the solid foundation that Abrams and Spielberg have so-competently laid out. The last 45 minutes are a combination of the endings of Independence Day, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Men In Black, Star Trek TNG episode "Schisms", Star Trek Voyager Season 3, and the awful early 90's comedy Nothing But Trouble. In other words, it's fucking idiotic.

The last 45 minutes is totally random. It's utter nonsense. It's like a 5-year old wrote the last 45 minutes based on a series of dreams he had. I can't believe Abrams and Spielberg attached their names to this rubbish...what a joke.

And the final nail in the coffin...at the end the boy (Courtney) who has just lost his mother, anti-romantically throws her locket (with a photo of mother/son) away...as if to symbolize his ability to emotionally part with his mother (who's only been dead for like a couple months) now thanks to a satisfying (REALLY?) ending to an epic (REALLY?) film.

[RANT] I have a serious question: if you're a big-name director or producer, are you just simply above having...oh...I don't know, a FEW people read your idiotic scripts before filming? Where the fuck is quality-control in filmmaking? I'm sick of shitty movies with glitz and glamour all over them. Sometimes I think these big-name directors/producers are just hacks who make it big off other people's talent/creativity (e.g. Transformers, Star Trek, Indiana Jones, Jurassic Park, etc.) and are shown to be useless when given their own project to fuck up. [/RANT]


_Review Written 01/21/2012_


----------



## Cheveyo (Nov 19, 2010)

Popinjay said:


> *Super 8 (2011) - 2 stars out of 5*
> 
> Competently asserting its mystery and innocence, this film locks in your attention effectively...for the first 60 minutes. The story is intriguing and by giving you very little information over a 60-minute period, the filmmakers succeed in keeping you interested. I was very pleasantly surprised to say I thoroughly enjoyed the first hour.


Isn't this essentially true for ALL of JJ Abrams' work?
Great build up, but completely incapable of closing the deal?


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

Cheveyo said:


> Isn't this essentially true for ALL of JJ Abrams' work?
> Great build up, but completely incapable of closing the deal?


I largely agree.


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*Taken (2008) - 4 stars out of 5*

I love well-executed vigilante justice/revenge stories. Taken acknowledges the obvious fact that you can make a film that adequately expresses rage and hate without excessive gore. Add to that fact the well known scientific law that Liam Neeson guarantees at least a 4-star rating for a film.

The film starts out giving you the impression, "Oh...yippee...another divorced father who misses his daughter and can't get along with his x-wife or her new rich husband...bla bla bla..." It's contrived and vapid...just at first.

But then (and this is not a spoiler) his daughter gets TAKEN. A series of improbable but believable events occur in rapid-fire sequence leading to Neeson's character tracking down the kidnappers. In fact, the believability of the events is part of what I enjoyed. Sure, it's kind of ridiculous for him to take out 7-8 guys at a time without a scratch but that never stopped us from watching Seagal, now did it?

Neeson expresses a quiet rage, feeding into single-minded actions that are somewhat predictable in context but also COMPLETELY atypical for this kind of film. I certainly wouldn't fuck with his character...no siree. Although the action is (here it comes...) LARGELY abrupt cuts, somehow the skillful maintenance of his subtle mood state carries us through the dizzying camera flashes and lightning-fast moves that leave a trail of carnage behind him.

The highlight of this film is the shockingly casual and matter-of-fact way it treats some tremendously serious subjects. A message is firmly preached by the filmmakers in such a way that most of the audience completely misses it. It left me contemplating the truly fucked-up nature of our sick world...an enjoyable state rarely induced by modern films.

Famke Janssen's performance was solid but the daughter couldn't act her way out of a paper bag. The silly ending proves to me that the filmmakers know NOTHING of mental health but it's a small flaw in an otherwise decent film.

They could have pushed this to two hours by spending a little more time with Neeson following clues and solving mysteries. My other objection is the rushed pace of the ending...it really could have used even five more minutes to smooth it out.


_Review Written 01/21/2012_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*Underworld: Awakening (2012) - 2.5 stars out of 5*

As someone who enjoyed the third film (and loved the first two), I am supremely disappointed to say this film is a sedating and bland attempt at raking in more money. I will admit, however, that 2.5 stars is the highest rating I've ever given a 4th film.

I appreciated the amount of delightfully violent, bloody and graphic action in this film, which I believe might be the most of the four films. It approaches the Blade series, in terms of the violence. Unfortunately, much of the film is poor CGI and that includes much of the pervasive action.

This film is full of twists and all of them are anti-climactic and uninteresting. The ending is truly pathetic...it approaches "Twilight: New Moon" in its idiocy and lack of effort (and I NEVER thought I would compare an Underworld film to...*shudders*...Twilight).

The commanding vampire elder Charles Dance gives a brief but solid performance. I wish Dance had been given a leading role at the level of Bill Nighy (Viktor...from films 1 and 3). The rest of the cast, including Beckinsale, are very weak although it's almost entirely the fault of Len Wiseman and his toilet-paper screenplay.

If you're an Underworld fan, you will likely be very disappointed. If you are a creepy Kate Beckinsale worshipper, you will not be disappointed. Her ass still looks incredible in that skin-tight patent leather.


_Review Written 01/22/2012_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*The Perfect Host (2010) - 2.5 stars out of 5*

This film starts off brilliant and understated...an eclectic combination of ideas from many different films and sub-genres. David Hyde Pierce's range in this film is probably the most diverse I've seen from him. I enjoyed seeing Clayne Crawford for the first time since 24 Season 8...basically doing a softer, less sociopathic take on Kevin Wade (his character from 24).

The dark comedy was not lost on me. It's maniacally silly...kind of the feeling you get from watching clowns...if you have Coulrophobia. I certainly enjoyed the psychotic comedy.

UNFORTUNATELY, at the 58-minute mark, the writer(s) had used up all their creativity and resorted to a nonsensical series of airheaded twists designed to stretch this 58-minute wonder to a 90-minute disaster.

There's an old Vulcan proverb: too many twists sours the lemonade. The last 30 minutes start with improbable twists, then silly twists, and finally downright-idiotic twists. I wish I were a script-reader.

It's a shame, too, because they had a great acting talent in Nathaniel Parker, who had very little face time in the last 30 minutes (well, in the whole film). He could have been a dynamic presence in tracking down Crawford's character but his involvement in the film is largely an after-thought...a silly one, at that.

Pass on it...it's really quite lame in retrospect.


_Review Written 01/22/2012_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*Edward Scissorhands (1990) - 4 stars out of 5*

I don't normally review films pre-2000, nor do I normally watch or review fantasy films...which are not my cup of tea. But after 22 years of avoiding this film...believing it would be odd as fuck...I finally watched it on Netflix tonight. It's odder than fuck...much odder.

I thoroughly love the Tim Burton / Danny Elfman gothic Batmanesque opening...just love it. And I thoroughly love Burton's inclusion of Vincent Price as the whimsical inventor who creates Edward (Johnny Depp)...such a good call. And (broken record) I thoroughly love the Burton gothic mansion where Depp's character lives. Let's face it...I love Tim Burton filmmaking and I love Johnny Depp acting.

After the awesome opening, Burton tries to blend this other-worldly, engaging, delightfully gothic fairytale fantasy into late 1970's America. It sounds like I'm about to criticize it, right? No, in fact it does just fine. Sure, the story makes little sense. Sure, the neighbors are far too accepting of Edward. Sure, [Insert 5,827,502 more holes poked in a nonsensical storyline here].

In fact, my single real criticism is not the absurdity of the story, which I accept as par for the course. My single criticism is the love-story between Edward and Kim (Winona Ryder...who is unbelievably beautiful in this film). It happens quickly and implausibly with inadequate buildup. If far more time had been spent between PTSD-suffering Edward and Kim (and less between Edward and the neighbors), it would have made more sense. Depp and Ryder, at least in these characters, had very nice chemistry. Burton did far too little to exploit that chemistry.

The ending is sort of absurd. The neighbors accept a major incident far too nonchalantly and Ryder's character does something that is hardly believable, even within the nutty-fantasy context.

In summary, it's a nonsensical (aren't they all) fantasy film with some truly beautiful emotions and themes interwoven in the tapestry of...crazy. I enjoyed it and I rarely enjoy fantasy films. Now I guess I'll finally have to sit through Nightmare Before Christmas...the other Burton film I've avoided for years (for the same reason).


_Review Written 01/22/2012_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*Mission: Impossible II (2000) - 2 stars out of 5*

Although this film begins with a few compelling scenes, the story quickly becomes odd and uninteresting. Rather than focusing on an "Impossible" mission, this film is largely about Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) trying to protect his newly-recruited girlfriend Nyah (Thandie Newton).

To fill gaps in the plot, this film uses fantasy technology that did not exist in 2000 (nor today). This film also includes the most slow-motion shots I have ever seen in a film. Slow-motion combined with an emotionally powerful film score can create a gripping and beautifully artistic and dramatic scene but when EVERY damn action scene is in slow-motion, it just becomes an annoyance. It started to feel like a parody on action films and on slow-motion in film.

Thandie Newton is entirely lethargic and Cruise resorts to his typical overacting from this era. Anthony Hopkins gets nothing more than a cameo as Cruise's boss. Why on earth did they not include more screen-time with Hopkins??? Dougray Scott is an overly-emotional and childish villian...unintelligent and without a rational motive.

It's definitely the weakest of the MI films...just entirely uninteresting, and the CGI-aided stunts are absurd and corny. If you've never seen it, pass on it and go for MI: Ghost Protocol.


_Review Written 01/28/2012_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*Vacation (2016) - 2.5 stars out of 5*

Let's put this simply: you don't need fifty f-bombs to make a comedy film...it's just...not...necessary. This film could have had a much broader appeal if they dropped the f-bombs, one very brief and uninteresting nude scene, and a dozen innuendos that all earned it an R rating.

It's funny...it really is. It's not Chevy Chase funny but it's not bad, either. I laughed out loud at least 9-10 times at moments that were quite hilarious. But there were lulls. There were moments where things just went nowhere for way too long.

And, again, those f-bombs...I only tolerate f-bombs in action or gangster flicks (I'm thinking Scorsese here) but in comedies it just feels out of place and offensive. Maybe I'm getting old.

I recommend the first four Vacation flicks, even the less-than-hilarious Vegas Vacation because they don't rely on f-bombs and major innuendo (I'm thinking of the term "rimjob" being thrown around, as one perfect example).


_Review Written 09/18/2016_


----------



## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

*Run All Night (2015) - 4 stars out of 5*

The hitman shoots, Then people die
Nothing really matters, Save the apple of his eye
But now he shoots blanks, And that's not a dirty joke
Because this poor old hitman, Is alone as folk

Seriously, I think the director of this film was trying to tell a deep, heartfelt story of the enduring love of a washed up father who kills, just about everyone but his family, for a living. The drama is pretty silly. Liam Neeson, apart from perhaps Rob Roy, is not really a dramatic actor. He's too blank and serious. His son in this film (Joel Kinnaman) is a much more convincing actor. Ed Harris is as bad as Neeson.

So why 4 stars? I had the time of my life watching this film!!! Every time someone comes after Liam's character (Jimmy Conlon) and he puts a bullet in their head or shoves them through a wall...tears come down my face...tears of pure, sweet joy. No, for real, the action was great most of the time. Fewer fast cuts than the Taken films which were painful to watch.

All that could have been done to push this to 5 stars is dump 100% of the attempted drama and just make this a Non-Stop...thrill-ride. I think this film would have done better at the box office if they had done that.

I still highly recommend it. If you like high-intensity action films with a measure of suspense and some token emotion, you will love this film.


----------

