# ESTJ Normal Reaction to Grief/Sadness?



## zgj (Apr 10, 2018)

Hi so I'm an ESTJ female and I was thinking back about some of the ways I've reacted when bad things have happened in my life and realized they were a little strange. For example when my grandmother passed away I didn't mention it to any of my friends or even my boyfriend even though I knew these people would have been kind and supportive. I went out a lot and acted like it had never happened for weeks/months. My boyfriend only even found out that she had died when I offhandedly mentioned that I'd gone to the funeral. My thinking was that I didn't want it to be a thing, I didn't want to discuss it or acknowledge it happened and deal with people trying to comfort me and me have to react to their apologies or pity. I was wondering if anyone else has seen similar responses from ESTJ's or even ENTJ's or experienced this themselves?


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## Tyche (May 12, 2011)

When I got the news that my grandma died, I was at work. I think context is important, though, so let me say that it wasn't unexpected. The people who were close to me knew what was going on because I was visiting her regularly. So when I heard the news, I did break down for a minute, then I got it together and went on with my day. I took bereavement leave and that's how my coworkers found out. I didn't want it to be a thing either.


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## SilentScream (Mar 31, 2011)

My Dad (ESTJ) has lost 3 brothers and 1 sister, seen more death I can count and he has never shed a tear. 

He becomes the leader and takes charge of funerals and making sure bodies are buried. He treats misery like it's part of his job to manage like a project. He muscles through. Has few if any over emotional moments but I can see a lot of repression too. He doesn't want to make it obvious so I just keep an eye on him for signs of over working and then I take over when I see him starting to crack a little. 

I keep an eye on him and he just manages to push through. 

The man has cried maybe once or twice in his life overall and honestly it devastated us because he's so much like a rock otherwise.


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## Potatooesunshinerays (Dec 26, 2017)

They are thinkers, so their reaction is most likely unbothered and heartless and cold :^)
In fact so heartless and cold, I'm sure most murderers are the thinker type.


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## Drecon (Jun 20, 2016)

Emotions aren't a democracy. Everyone deals in their own ways. Just be honest to yourself about what you need. ESTJs often deal wit things by taking charge and getting stuff done. As long as you allow yourself to feel things when it comes to it, you have my permission to deal with your emotions however you like.


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