# Women's experiences of penetration



## Jamaia (Dec 17, 2014)

Meltedsorbet said:


> In regards to throbbing, engorged sensation, I've always felt it inside the vagina as well. I've also felt feelings in my abdomen--rarely, like when you accidentally touch someone you're attracted to--feels like it's almost in the uterus, though I don't think it its. But that kind of like striking sort of sensation in the lower abdomen. I suppose like 'butterflies' except that usually describes nausea and this is more of a sort of feeling like internal seizing, pleasurable but also sort of alarming. I don't think it's clitoral--more like something around the muscles around the vagina and uterus maybe? Does anyone know what I'm talking about? I used to get it a ton though, sometimes while riding in a car, and before I had an orgasm I assumed that's kind of like what orgasms feel like, but it's not like clitoral orgasm.


I know what you are talking about and I guess I tried to describe the same thing with the oomph of the pelvic floor muscles. To me it's like a heat wave or something spreading up, billowing really, from within the pelvis and then vanishing. It can happen for many reasons, sometimes after having done kegels, some time from emotional things, imaginary or real exciting situations. When riding in a car over a small hill, your internal organs momentarily push less down on your pelvic floor, probably making your muscles contract more easily, and you get similar oomph, butterflies or what ever. Guys get it too I think.

The throbbing, engorged sensation I usually feel inside the vagina only if I'm really really turned on. Then it's more like an ache. Normally when having sex (unfortunately) I'm not quite that much on, so that's why I said the arousal usually feels more on the surface and when penetrated it opens up a new dimension, sort of. But yes definitely, if I was that turned on to begin with to be aching, then penetration feels heavenly. And yes, indeed, the feeling is not like clitoral arousal/orgasm, it's more deep and allover.


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## sweetraglansweater (Jul 31, 2015)

Embarrassingly enough orgasms are easy for me to achieve on my own or even by just imagining things. However, I am not penetrated during these. 

Oddly, during sex with partners I find them difficult to achieve, regardless of what stimulation [penetration] they are or aren't providing.

I honestly think pleasure is more tied to mental and emotional stimulation than physical stimulation (for me at least), so the enjoyability of penetration is entirely dependent on my pathos.


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## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

It feel(s) better if you are mentally there + in zone || that is why I practice *hands free* (&) breast orgasms. Unless he must be going very, very rough + hard pounding at the G-spot area or I will not orgasm, just feel those ''sensations,'' of warm (&) pressure in the abdomen (&) fullness.

It feel(s) good when rotating around on it in cowgirl - the psychological practice help(s) me tune out the male. I do not focus on the male; just zoom in on my vaginal sensation(s) (&) my entire body like a hands-free practice -- it is all about myself (&) I forget he is even there; everything else is distraction. The guy usually tires out before myself trying to get me to orgasm from penetration -- so I need to do it myself. Hand(s) free orgasm I can induce my own pleasure within my own vaginal cavity (via) mental functation(s) -- this passes into coitus (!)

There was this time I ressurected from my entire physical form -- I left the room through my entire vagina. If I do not get selfish I cannot cum. It only work(s) for me if we are objectified each other to masturbatory object(s) -- I objectify him to his phallus (&) I can orgasm better; less mental / psychological block(s).

It take(s) almost an an hour or more without any other stimulus like playing + sucking on my tits. My tit(s) are not big constant reminder(s) need to be vocalized to my tit(s). Remind(s) me of this time I sucked this male-specimen off (&) was so horny to start rubbing me (&) playing with me :: he started rubbing my shoulder(s); LOL. I said no my tits. What is it in my shoulder(s)? You never rub my tits. I recommend a full body massage + ice before penetration :: this was the time I was expelled from my physical body into another realm of pleasure (via) orgasm -- I never had a male make me orgasm that powerful.

My tits are more sensitive then my clitoris; it is sad but my tit(s) are linked inside my vaginal cavity - (&) if it isn't rough without any previous orgasm(s) (&) breast play or ass play I cannot orgasm from it for over an hour of psychological manipulation(s) -- I can't take it if my ass is being stuffed at the same time :: so much pleasure, forget penetration with nothing else. Downward doggy position + thrusting downward also feel(s) the most sensation(s) + a finger playing with my butthole.


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## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

darkmatter said:


> The vaginal canal has very little nerve endings, because otherwise child birth would be impossibly painful. In comparison, the anus has a lot more nerve endings. I can't really comment on the G-spot because there's no scientific evidence of it. There are theories that it's an extension of the clitoris. Women who do not experience G-spot pleasure enjoy penetration for many reasons: it arouses them when the man is experiencing pleasure, it pulls on the clitoris, and in some positions, it rubs against the clitoris.
> Penis size is of little value to a women who cannot experience G-spot stimuli.
> I've noticed that women who prefer vaginal intercourse have a harder time orgasming, whether it be from clitoris or vaginal stimuli. Women who don't like it, can orgasm very easily, but only through direct clitoris stimuli. I'm sure this isn't always the case, just what I've observed.


For me personally, I experienced G-spot stimulation very easily and intensely, and it's quite different from anything else I've experienced sexually. It's definitely been more pronounced with a penis that curves up, and it rubs against and stimulates that area during penetration. This is without clitoral stimulation. There were times where that G-spot stimulation was very intense, and overwhelming. It had nothing to do with his pleasure, though. I don't think it's a myth, I just think every woman's body is different and therefore experiences different sensations with varying intensity. 



Jamaia said:


> Kaleidoscope also said that while there's little sensation in vagina normally, having a penis moving in there is something different, and that I'd agree with. Normally I think the only sensation from vagina or the general pelvic area is the oomph of contracting pelvic floor muscles, which can be very nice but not a very differentiated sensation. When all the precursors (arousal and foreplay and such) are in place, the throbbing engorged sensation (which I'd imagine pretty similar to having an erection) is mostly on the surface, in the vulva. Then when penis enters vagina, it gives a whole new dimension to the feeling and makes the pelvic floor muscles roar, haha. I'm not sure I always necessarily think of it as having something _enter_ me, though. It's just more of... the sensation. More like something fitting in a slot nicely, or rubbing just right, instead of necessarily penetrating and entering.


That's a good way to describe it, actually. I think it's more a "filling" sensation, and it's definitely best when foreplay has taken place and I'm wet, and there's that throbbing sensation due to arousal that you describe. It usually leads to this ache, this need to feel something inside me.. which is way more intense than just wanting to rub myself into an orgasm. That's the epitome of desire for me, wanting to get fucked. 



> When it's good, I do think penetration is better than clitoral stimulation. Deeper and more all over the place. Many times I think slower thrusts, after the first few thrusts, are abrading, probably because there's time to notice everything, and faster pounding, where all the independent sensations mesh together, is just blissful.


I noticed that I get off much more easily when the thrusts are deeper and slower for some reason, rather than just faster pounding. Not quite sure what it's due to, perhaps because it allows me more control? I think part of it also might be that the steadiness/regularity of the slower thrusts is more conducive to having an orgasm. 



g_w said:


> Re: the bolded.
> 
> For the first one, can you actually feel the hardness inside you, or is it just "something rubbing just right" ? (Compare for example to during foreplay when the woman says wonderingly while staring / stroking / grabbing, "You're so hard" or "It's so hard".)


The hardness can be felt the most when he's first sliding in.. what's more noticeable while we're fucking is the rubbing, the filling sensation, and for me personally, G-spot stimulation in certain positions. For instance I've never noticed him getting harder/bigger when he's getting close. 



Meltedsorbet said:


> I'm glad you started this thread. Women have a lot of preferences, and I suppose I haven't really felt like this is so acknowledged, though perhaps because I'm not used to talking with other people about sex irl.


That's exactly why I created this thread! I don't think women's diversity of experiences is acknowledged or talked about, so I'm glad to see so many people sharing their preferences and experiences. 



> I haven't had sex in like five years and I really noticed missing penetration for the first couple years because I only had my fingers. Clitoral stimulation, alone, doesn't maybe...offer the same feeling of pressure? The vaginal walls have nothing to squeeze against but themselves, and that is a distinctly different feeling than having something pushing on them.
> 
> I don't find it particularly easy to orgasm with either penetration or clitoral alone. When combined though, it's pretty easy to knock out like five orgasms in a few minutes, with no purely clitoral 'foreplay' or whatever. Clitoral alone takes longer, and penetration alone is hit and miss, probably depends on how previously aroused.
> 
> And tbh, I did get extremely frustrated several times before purchasing the first 'sex toy' ever after being single for a couple years. I find that with clitoral only, I am still much tenser and more frustrated and dissatisfied even after orgasm. It may be partially psychological, but it feels more grounding, maybe more secure--maybe less like just having my own pants rubbing accidentally, and more like idk sex. With just clitoral, I end up feeling much more pent up and less relaxed, even though there's no real danger of feeling sore, as can sometimes happen after penetration due to muscles.


I relate. I haven't had sex in a few months, and what I find myself missing is the penetration aspect most of all. There's nothing really remarkable to me about clitoral stimulation, it feels good but it doesn't feel _fulfilling_, and my own toys/fingers don't feel the same either. There's just something so wonderfully different about an actual penis, and someone being in control of the penetration. And that's not even talking about the connection or the sexual dynamic at hand, but purely from a sensory point of view. 



> In regards to throbbing, engorged sensation, I've always felt it inside the vagina as well. I've also felt feelings in my abdomen--rarely, like when you accidentally touch someone you're attracted to--feels like it's almost in the uterus, though I don't think it its. But that kind of like striking sort of sensation in the lower abdomen. I suppose like 'butterflies' except that usually describes nausea and this is more of a sort of feeling like internal seizing, pleasurable but also sort of alarming. I don't think it's clitoral--more like something around the muscles around the vagina and uterus maybe? Does anyone know what I'm talking about? I used to get it a ton though, sometimes while riding in a car, and before I had an orgasm I assumed that's kind of like what orgasms feel like, but it's not like clitoral orgasm.


Are you talking about feelings of arousal specifically? That's primarily how I experience the throbbing/engorged sensation, and I feel it both inside and outside, in a way. I believe it is due to the blood rushing to that area, paired with lubrication, clitoris enlarging and sometimes even lips spreading just a bit. It does feel like internal pressure building as well. 



Jamaia said:


> The throbbing, engorged sensation I usually feel inside the vagina only if I'm really really turned on. Then it's more like an ache. Normally when having sex (unfortunately) I'm not quite that much on, so that's why I said the arousal usually feels more on the surface and when penetrated it opens up a new dimension, sort of. But yes definitely, if I was that turned on to begin with to be aching, then penetration feels heavenly. And yes, indeed, the feeling is not like clitoral arousal/orgasm, it's more deep and allover.


YES. This. 



sweetraglansweater said:


> Embarrassingly enough orgasms are easy for me to achieve on my own or even by just imagining things. However, I am not penetrated during these.
> 
> Oddly, during sex with partners I find them difficult to achieve, regardless of what stimulation [penetration] they are or aren't providing.
> 
> I honestly think pleasure is more tied to mental and emotional stimulation than physical stimulation (for me at least), so the enjoyability of penetration is entirely dependent on my pathos.


It's not embarrassing at all, it's perfectly normal. When you're alone, you are relaxed, you're in touch with your body, you know yourself and what gets you off, as well as how to get yourself off. You're also entirely focused on yourself. When you're with a partner, there's an awful lot of synchrony to be achieved: being in touch with them, having them know your body well, stimulate you on both an emotional/mental AND physical level and everything lining up perfectly to get you to orgasm. It's a lot more challenging to get there, also because you're focusing on them and their pleasure, and not entirely on yourself. 

I do agree that for women specifically, the arousal and orgasm resulting from it seems to be more situational, depending on the mood, on the emotional state, on the mental connection _and_ the physical sensations.


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## dizzycactus (Sep 9, 2012)

My partner likes clit stimulation but finds the climaxes not as satisfying and more difficult to obtain, whereas, with the right position so that I hit the g-spot, I can make her climax in literally 5 seconds or so, multiple times in a row.


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## Jamaia (Dec 17, 2014)

g_w said:


> Re: the bolded.
> 
> For the first one, can you actually feel the hardness inside you, or is it just "something rubbing just right" ? (Compare for example to during foreplay when the woman says wonderingly while staring / stroking / grabbing, "You're so hard" or "It's so hard".)
> 
> ...


I wonder if @g_w was satisfied with the answers... We didn't acknowledge the conflict. I can see why it can be difficult for a man to sometimes know what he's supposed to be or do. In the Men of Craigslist post she wrote something like 'don't make me feel like a rapist for having to physically initiate because you won't', well he would probably have more of a reason to feel like a rapist and actually risk being accused as one if he misinterprets her signals or something goes wrong or... And there's the Louis CK clip where he talks about being in a hotel room with a woman, who keeps pushing his hands off as they're making out so nothing more happens between them, but later she claims that she just wanted him to "go for it", like faux rape her because she likes it like that. 

I don't have rape fantasies, but I do get very very turned on by playful struggle and resisting and such, and him getting frustrated and rougher and holding me tighter... Still I don't think guys should "just go for it" with women they don't know. I think that's unreasonable to expect and bad to encourage that kind of behavior, I mean it can easily be misunderstood as how much and at what point is desirable. I think it takes building trust and experience and communication for both, and if you're sleeping with a stranger it'd be a miracle if it's perfect. I think it's good to be careful, even hesitant at first, but maybe what can be safely encouraged is aim towards more free and uninhibited sexual interaction in your relationship. Please do eventually get carried away. But I'd personally also think that if the guy is perfectly confident from the start, that it'd be a very bad sign for the future. This reminds me of the  Nice Guy phenomenon (real or internet, not sure). 

I'm not sure what to take away from the Craigslist post really. It tries to encourage guys to take note of her body language and be appropriately responsive, but surely that is a skill and a matter of mutual communication. Maybe it's enough just to be mindful that she may want you to be more rough with her, and it's possible that she's squirming to get you to grab her tighter and ram away. Just communicate if in doubt. I think it'd be more reasonable to write a Dear Men and Women of Craigslist post, saying that if women prepared to initiate or show what kind of moves they like at first, could men pay attention and feel more comfortable with their expression, and "just go for it" later, when being sure it's ok with her. (But of course, with incomplete communication, this easily leads to her always having to take charge and him being more submissive.) 

Eeh, sorry for all the edits but this is a complicated topic. Now I'm saying there^ that women should always know what they want, and think through how to act to get him to want to act in a certain way, I don't think that's it. I do think both are responsible for the atmosphere though, and it's unreasonable to think that either one can just do their thing right off the bat and assume the other can read their mind. Or at least I'd think that's unusual... I think there should be patience.

I'd like to think there's a way of physically showing just a bit of confidence in your touch, without having to completely change yourself into a über-macho jerk or risk being inappropriate. 

What about the first question about the hardness? An erect penis is pretty marvelous thing to touch  it's hard and soft at the same time. But in penetration it's probably mostly the glans that feels hard (or not).


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## Lemxn (Aug 17, 2013)

It always depend on positions. Some are very pleasurable, some other are just normal and others are very uncomfortable and not enjoyable at all.


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## Elyasis (Jan 4, 2012)

Cowgirl, where you ride on the pony really close to the saddle, is the best for me. But doggy style can be satisfying too. Usually it depends on whether I'm feeling more dom or sub. Penetration alone can't make me cum, or at least it never has. But I still feel a rush of warmth and pleasure... just not in the way that a vibe can get you there. No contractions, or intense pleasure... more like a really nice workout euphoria. Plus the added feeling of victory when your body causes his to cum.


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## g_w (Apr 16, 2013)

Jamaia said:


> I wonder if @*g_w* was satisfied with the answers... We didn't acknowledge the conflict. I can see why it can be difficult for a man to sometimes know what he's supposed to be or do. In the Men of Craigslist post she wrote something like 'don't make me feel like a rapist for having to physically initiate because you won't', well he would probably have more of a reason to feel like a rapist and actually risk being accused as one if he misinterprets her signals or something goes wrong or... And there's the Louis CK clip where he talks about being in a hotel room with a woman, who keeps pushing his hands off as they're making out so nothing more happens between them, but later she claims that she just wanted him to "go for it", like faux rape her because she likes it like that.
> 
> I don't have rape fantasies, but I do get very very turned on by playful struggle and resisting and such, and him getting frustrated and rougher and holding me tighter... Still I don't think guys should "just go for it" with women they don't know. I think that's unreasonable to expect and bad to encourage that kind of behavior, I mean it can easily be misunderstood as how much and at what point is desirable. I think it takes building trust and experience and communication for both, and if you're sleeping with a stranger it'd be a miracle if it's perfect. I think it's good to be careful, even hesitant at first, but maybe what can be safely encouraged is aim towards more free and uninhibited sexual interaction in your relationship. Please do eventually get carried away. But I'd personally also think that if the guy is perfectly confident from the start, that it'd be a very bad sign for the future. This reminds me of the  Nice Guy phenomenon (real or internet, not sure).
> 
> ...


Yes, in particular, your answers, @Jamaia, and @Meltedsorbet 's and @kaleidoscope 's all were instructive.
In particular the common themes of

a) external engorgement (*) and warmth leading to an ache of "needing" to be filled -- and that sex without penetration, even to orgasm, is not ... gratifying or completing, in the way that full penetration is: but that penetration without being emotionally and sexually aroused, falls far short. It's not that the penis is the magic answer to all your problems (well, ok, it is :tongue but that it has to be wielded correctly in order to live up to its promise. One needs the right mix of ravishing, sensitivity, "pounding like a mallard duck," and gently touching / caressing: but in the right order of course, and all of these things are like a combination lock whose combination changes in real time, from day to day. 

b) the sense of friction, or being filled just right (+), rather than interior hardness (tho' one of you mentioned that, too)

c) the sense of when handing an erection, the fascination of how it can be hard and soft at the same time.

Might I add, I am glad the discussion struck the correct balance between being mildly titillating, yet instructive, without being merely prurient, nor the kind of juvenile bragging one remembers from youth, sometimes involving anatomical impossibilities....

(*) I noted most women immediately assumed that men felt something similar during an erection. Can't quantify it, i'd say more it's a drive to ...well, to drive. (Jackhammer, not Porsche).
(+) I once saw a *hilarious* piece on The Tonight Show (can't remember but I think it was when Jay Leno was the host) with a 90-year old woman giving sex advice, and she pointed out "at our age, we just want the hole filled, honey." or similar language.

Over and out.


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## TTIOTBSAL (May 26, 2014)

It depends on the partner, moods in the moment, time taken and needed, it's mostly psychological and about communication, not necessarily verbal. Enough foreplay is essential, it's not always directly physical.


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## jusplathemus (Jan 13, 2015)

Damn, this thread really makes it hard to focus on work :tongue2:
Thank you for this, it's highly informative. 



Catwalk said:


> I recommend a full body massage + ice before penetration :: this was the time I was expelled from my physical body into another realm of pleasure (via) orgasm -- I never had a male make me orgasm that powerful.


Sorry if it's a bit off-topic, but about the massaging... I heard it really helps wemen to relax and it's even better with scented candles all around (maybe some nice music too). And as for the application, it's said that grapeseed oil is preferable over various creams.
Does anyone have any experience regarding this?


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## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

jusplathemus said:


> Sorry if it's a bit off-topic, but about the massaging... I heard it really helps wemen to relax and it's even better with scented candles all around (maybe some nice music too). And as for the application, it's said that grapeseed oil is preferable over various creams.
> Does anyone have any experience regarding this?


You do not need all the fancy gibberish; just a pair of marvelous working hand(s).


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## jusplathemus (Jan 13, 2015)

Catwalk said:


> You do not need all the fancy gibberish; just a pair of marvelous working hand(s).


Got it, thanks!


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## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

jusplathemus said:


> ...Sorry if it's a bit off-topic, but about the massaging... I heard it really helps wemen to relax and it's even better with scented candles all around (maybe some nice music too). And as for the application, it's said that grapeseed oil is preferable over various creams.
> Does anyone have any experience regarding this?


A full body or a back/neck massage is the best foreplay for me. It's very relaxing & intimate for me to enjoy the feeling of being touched. Lighting, music, & scents add to the relaxing environment & are all good. :wink:


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## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

WickerDeer said:


> ... my female friend four years earlier (and despite having had sex before). Unlike me, she was more into clitoral stimulation and recommended *laying under the bath faucet*, and I was always so jealous of her for being able to orgasm while I couldn't. I tried masturbating furiously, wanting to know what orgasm felt like, but to no avail.....


Speaking about going solo...I agree with your friend, water seems to be the best stimuli for me with no side effects like soreness. I reached orgasm for the first time by accident, sitting in the shower. I wasn't trying to, it just happened. :blushed: I can never reach orgasm from just hand stroking, it has to be stronger, like a vibrator but not too strong. It's the Goldilocks syndrome, it has to be just right.


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## LittleOrange (Feb 11, 2012)

Yes, if I find the partner very hot, if I´m comfortable with him and if there´s emotional connection then I can experience vaginal orgasm....otherwise, I almost feel nothing.


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## JennyJukes (Jun 29, 2012)

depends on size/wideness of partner, position etc. least uncomfortable position for me is missionary and me on top. other positions just depend.

if the guy goes on for too long i start to find it sore tbh so i don't mind quick sex lmao it's more pleasurable for me if it's hard and fast from the get go


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## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)

JennyJukes said:


> if the guy goes on for too long i start to find it sore tbh so i don't mind quick sex lmao it's more pleasurable for me if it's hard and fast from the get go


A good guy brings lube.


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## JennyJukes (Jun 29, 2012)

pwowq said:


> A good guy brings lube.


yeah but it's not the sexiest of things to have to stop every X minutes to put on lube  but yeah it's a must for me lol


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## atamagasuita (May 15, 2016)

I love g spot and k spot. Can achieve through penetration


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