# Would you go to a therapist?



## Monsieur Melancholy (Nov 16, 2012)

All in Twilight said:


> Dear Sir, I think I was and I still am friendly toward you. But look at your username. Look at your posts. It's looking back in the past (melancholy is looking back to re-live an experience of the past because we long for that experience) and you're victimizing yourself. I am not rude at all. I invested my time to make you think about life. I don't take pleasure in bring you down and I see no need for it. It is just really you. I wrote you a friendly message before and I was trying to help you in my previous post. Maybe it's because I don't use emoticons that makes me come off as but I can't say I was.


You aren't helping with your advice. You're just making me feel worse about myself when you say things such as "I see you on here complaining all the time". This makes me feel detested, unwanted, and insecure. And this is coming from someone who already feels guilty enough about taking up space in the world, based on the damaging commentary people have doled out and continue to dole out about me.

I don't have a problem. I have plenty of brightness on the inside, but the minute I step out, someone is always there to bring me down and snuff out the flame.


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## All in Twilight (Oct 12, 2012)

Monsieur Melancholy said:


> You aren't helping with your advice. You're just making me feel worse about myself when you say things such as "I see you on here complaining all the time". This makes me feel detested, unwanted, and insecure. And this is coming from someone who already feels guilty enough about taking up space in the world, based on the damaging commentary people have doled out and continue to dole out about me.


I opened my door for you to enter, if you do not want to enter and talk about it as two good friends who are walking in the park having a conversation, then don't. It's up to you. But this means you were wanted. I have seen a lot of your posts and for some reason I have a ridiculous good memory. Some posts were funny and entertaining, some were smart and intelligent but lately it seems to me that you're not doing very well. What I am trying to tell you is that people in general really don't want to hang out with people who leave behind a negative charge because you start to live in isolation. This is not some theory, this is actual. Maybe it's not the thing you want to hear right now but we do not know each other, this is nothing personal so do something with this information. Are you aware of how much your past experiences is affecting this conversation right now? Is that fair toward me? I don't care, I can't get hurt psychologically but you do isolate yourself because I can't reach out to you. And the same can be said of other people who want to reach out to you. Anyway, if you feel like chatting a bit, feel free to leave me message here and if not, best of luck.


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## Monsieur Melancholy (Nov 16, 2012)

All in Twilight said:


> I opened my door for you to enter, if you do not want to enter and talk about it as two good friends who are walking in the park having a conversation, then don't. It's up to you. But this means you were wanted. I have seen a lot of your posts and for some reason I have a ridiculous good memory. Some posts were funny and entertaining, some were smart and intelligent but lately it seems to me that you're not doing very well. What I am trying to tell you is that people in general really don't want to hang out with people who leave behind a negative charge because you start to live in isolation. This is not some theory, this is actual. Maybe it's not the thing you want to hear right now but we do not know each other, this is nothing personal so do something with this information. Are you aware of how much your past experiences is affecting this conversation right now? Is that fair toward me? I don't care, I can't get hurt psychologically but you do isolate yourself because I can't reach out to you. And the same can be said of other people who want to reach out to you. Anyway, if you feel like chatting a bit, feel free to leave me message here and if not, best of luck.


I do get where you're coming from on some points. I have accepted that there are elements of my personality that seem to swell in and out like the tide. There are times when I am witty and entertaining, there are times when I am wise and enlightening, and, unfortunately, there are times when I'm brooding with despair and melancholy. I can't "leave a positive charge behind" at all times. I express my frustrations here because I know there are others who have felt similar things, and it's a great help to me to not feel as alone, whereas before I did isolate myself and didn't want to communicate with anyone based on what they would think or say. I have a great support system here, full of people who encourage me. They make me feel better about myself when I can be self-defeating. I get that you want to challenge me to fix things on my own. I have been actively doing that for over a year now. But just because you happen to see a string of posts from me where I vent frustrations and depressive whinges, that does not mean I'm in a perpetually bad state. It just means I'm in a regular downturn that happens frequently and I'm looking to others to support me and help me get through those trying times. I don't want to be judged, as I am human and I have a compulsion to complain from time to time about things that are bothering me. That's what we do in life. We fight and we speak our minds. And when something is bothering us, we let it out instead of bottling it up. That's healthy to me.


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## All in Twilight (Oct 12, 2012)

Monsieur Melancholy said:


> I do get where you're coming from on some points. I have accepted that there are elements of my personality that seem to swell in and out like the tide. There are times when I am witty and entertaining, there are times when I am wise and enlightening, and, unfortunately, there are times when I'm brooding with despair and melancholy. I can't "leave a positive charge behind" at all times. I express my frustrations here because I know there are others who have felt similar things, and it's a great help to me to not feel as alone, whereas before I did isolate myself and didn't want to communicate with anyone based on what they would think or say. I have a great support system here, full of people who encourage me. They make me feel better about myself when I can be self-defeating. I get that you want to challenge me to fix things on my own. I have been actively doing that for over a year now. But just because you happen to see a string of posts from me where I vent frustrations and depressive whinges, that does not mean I'm in a perpetually bad state. It just means I'm in a regular downturn that happens frequently and I'm looking to others to support me and help me get through those trying times. I don't want to be judged, as I am human and I have a compulsion to complain from time to time about things that are bothering me. That's what we do in life. We fight and we speak our minds. And when something is bothering us, we let it out instead of bottling it up. That's healthy to me.


Yes, I want to challenge you. I want you to get rid of it for good and that can be done. Not by depending on others because when they're gone, you go back to your former self so that is just a temporary solution. In case you were wondering why I am telling you all this and why it seems that I have the arrogance to speak on behalf of your emotions, that is because I have been where you are now. I recognize it and I am aware that it's not a lot of fun to live like this. I changed my way of thinking drastically and therefore my life changed drastically. I have had 10(!) different therapists before and no one was able to help me. None of my friends was able to help me. I had their friendship (which I valued a lot and I would do anything for them without hesitation) but they didn't have the solution for my problems. 

We accept that life comes with ups and downs and that misery is a part of life. I don't and it shows. I was about to start a thread about hurt anytime soon anyway. Maybe you can watch it from a distant without participating.


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## Monsieur Melancholy (Nov 16, 2012)

All in Twilight said:


> Yes, I want to challenge you. I want you to get rid of it for good and that can be done. Not by depending on others because when they're gone, you go back to your former self so that is just a temporary solution. In case you were wondering why I am telling you all this and why it seems that I have the arrogance to speak on behalf of your emotions, that is because I have been where you are now. I recognize it and I am aware that it's not a lot of fun to live like this. I changed my way of thinking drastically and therefore my life changed drastically. I have had 10(!) different therapists before and no one was able to help me. None of my friends was able to help me. I had their friendship (which I valued a lot and I would do anything for them without hesitation) but they didn't have the solution for my problems.
> 
> We accept that life comes with ups and downs and that misery is a part of life. I don't and it shows. I was about to start a thread about hurt anytime soon anyway. Maybe you can watch it from a distant without participating.


I get it. I know what you're saying. I appreciate that you have experience, and as such, can offer insight into the matter. I also noticed that you're a type one and I'm a type four. That may hold some weight in terms of how we are differing on the matter. It may hold some weight in terms of how I deal with things, and why you want to recommend alternative methods. My downturns are very in line with type fours in unhealthy states, as my upturns are also in line with type fours in healthy states. I'm sure you're aware of the psychological anatomy of the type four and what cognitive functions are associated with our type.

All I ask is not to be judged harshly or criticized just because I may post a rant or a complaint here or there about someone or something that is bothering me. I'm not the only one who does this. It just so happens I've been feeling this way because I've been around some negative influences over the past few weeks. You or anyone else may happen upon one or more of these posts and think that all I'm doing is blaming others for my misery. To some extent I am, yet at the same time it's merely a way of letting off steam. But you ought to be wise enough to understand that these things come and go. You said it yourself in your post on my profile. Just accept that I am where I am for the time being and be a little more empathetic, which is what I both look for for myself and at the same time try to provide to others.


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

From personal experience of a graduate student in a counseling program, I can vouch to say that NOT ALL counselors are really in this field to help, especially in the HMO/PPO system we are in.

I can't tell you the times I heard a therapist in training mention "You can't stop making a business out of emotions. People always have emotions" and the ignorant remarks made about people, in general. They tended to stick with group of colleagues who felt the same. 

On top of that, they were really opposed to learning about diversity topics (some were so angry that it was part of our curriculum). They denied the subject of oppression, power and abuse in society, and they would even talk trash on the poorest poor and make stereotypical jokes about minorities. 

They would even make fun of the individuals they were seeing in therapy.

I even had professors scoff at me for wanting to work in non-profit after graduation.

At the same time, there were peers who felt the same as I did in that we don't want to charge people. Should we have it our way, everybody would be able to utilize service under a nationalized healthcare system. We see the oppression and the institutionalized corruption of power and what injustice can do to people, but our professors really didn't want us to raise these questions and ask during seminar.

When you have a system that makes a profit out of human mental health (health in general), you're also going to attract those who are in the profession for the wrong reasons and who could care less about moral/ethical decision making in helping others. Just like doctors who dump poor people onto skid row when they cannot afford medical care, there are therapist who really are more concerned about their pocketbooks and status. No wonder DSM-V wants to omit narcissism out of their diagnostic manual.


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