# What the hell am I doing wrong here?



## TheYellow (Oct 28, 2010)

I don't understand it. I spend hours trying to make a thread interesting, involving, and revealing, and maybe two people comment three or so sentences. Then some guy/girl comes along with "Like, I need help so what is this typing stuff =D?" Or "Please help"And the thread ends up going to 5 pages.
What the HELL am I doing wrong? Am I that off putting?
I need help too! It feels so personal even though it's not.

The most annoying thing you can do to me is not listen or respond.
It seems like a personal insult saying that I'm not important or interesting.
I'm less interesting online than in real life, but I know I'm not dull!!
It feels like some of the only traits I enjoy about myself, the ability to entertain and catalyse, are being shot down while someone else is highlighted for the same reason. 
So I ask again, what the hell am I doing wrong? Am I being too direct? Too selfish? I'm just trying to get your input >:{


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## Angelic Gardevoir (Oct 7, 2010)

What thread are you talking about?


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## TheYellow (Oct 28, 2010)

Well like everything it seems, it's not just one problem. The first couple of times I didn't make a fuss over it. But after a while when I ask for help it seems to get lost in the depths of other people asking for help, like I don't deserve it or something. I'm not blaming anyone or any specific poster who ignores me, it's just a general feeling I get when I post. But I wrote this whole thing that took me quite a long time in the "Whats my personality type" section and many people looked at it without responding. Someone posted afterwards and already got 5 responses. This is not the first time.
I'm NOT trying to say that they don't deserve the exact same treatment as their problems are exactly as important! I'm sure it sounds like that but thats not what I mean!
I'm just tired of giving so much and receiving so little, I guess.
Maybe this has to do much more with my life than this forum, I think I misconstrued this problem out of proportion and transfered my anger.
/vent

What kind of attitude can I adopt to make people more willing to reciprocate the care and effort I put into the things I do?


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## Angelic Gardevoir (Oct 7, 2010)

Well, sometimes people don't like reading anything very long. Or maybe they simply don't know how to respond. *shrugs* I'm not sure.


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## Azwan (Nov 2, 2010)

Like what Angelic Gardevoir said, maybe you can just keep it short or make it the thread name interesting. People are attracted to interesting stuff like flies to honey.

Or perhaps you could make the wording less complicated to eliminate the problem of people not knowing how to respond.

If the thread post is rather long, what you can do is to break the post into short paragraphs to make it more digest-friendly.

Keep things short, don't be redundant and go around the bush - be straight foward.

Hope this helps.


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## Tad Cooper (Apr 10, 2010)

Oh don't worry, I get overlooked alot too. I think it's just how forums work, some people post on some threads and other threads die horribly and nothing gets resolved. Best thing to do is keep trying or post the question to an individual you know well enough on here. 
I'd be fine helping if you need it by the way.


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## jbking (Jun 4, 2010)

*Hhhhhmmm...*



TheYellow said:


> What kind of attitude can I adopt to make people more willing to reciprocate the care and effort I put into the things I do?


My response to this would be to consider what kinds of questions are you posting for the threads you start and what kind of result are you wanting. The people needing help with type can generate pages simply by having responses that have questions and a chain is formed. In contrast someone wanting to ask about sex may not generate that same level of interest and some places may just have more visitors than others. For example look at the Science and Technology sub-forum compared to the INTJ forum for a contrast of posting counts between the two areas. Lastly, don't forget that some of us here may be very careful about how we respond and to where will we read things so sometimes it can be easy to get my attention and other times I may not be on-line that much if I have enough other stuff in my life taking me away from here.


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## Dreamer (Feb 5, 2010)

Sometimes people don't answer because either:

1. They don't understand it
2. No one else has answered
3. Doesn't apply to them/doesn't interest them
4. Too Lazy to reply
5. Not sure what to say/ scared how the person will react
6. Repeated question/they've answered it before
7. It's too confusing/complicated for them
8. Don't have time

well, those are some of the reasons I don't reply


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## Jojo (Jul 5, 2010)

Don't take it personal. It happens all the time. You are not alone. Many members have that same situation. Sometimes I feel like the post killer.


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## SeekJess (Nov 1, 2009)

it is because your personality is unknown. there for you have no soul.


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## EvanR (Nov 28, 2009)

SeekJess said:


> it is because your personality is unknown. there for you have no soul.


This is the truth


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## Scruffy (Aug 17, 2009)

Too much too fast, type me threads are successful when there is more of an interplay. Instead of dropping a bomb on someone (which is hard to respond to), allow questions and give a slight overview. 

Personality type is easier to peg in interplay, not by a list of traits. It will never seem completely conclusive, because of its nature.


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## 5150 (Dec 4, 2010)

TheYellow said:


> Am I that off putting?


I tried to gauge a vibe while reading that post and I'm inclined to say yes.



> I'm less interesting online than in real life, but I know I'm not dull!!


Of course you think that, your opinion is biased.


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## TheYellow (Oct 28, 2010)

I appreciate your honesty as malicious and insecure as it was.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

TheYellow said:


> I appreciate your honesty as malicious and insecure as it was.


You are not off-putting, in the least. It was rather brave of you to start this thread. It takes a lot of honesty to come forth and say "Hey, I feel ignored. I feel like I am being lost in a crowd. Why is that?". It also indicates some insecurity and even a lack of confidence (to whatever degree) on your end, and it's alright to feel this way sometimes. Nobody is perfect. Not many have the nerve to ask such an open question, knowing that some responses will be unreasonably harsh such as the one you responded to. As others have said, make sure to have an interesting title, make your post reader friendly by breaking it into shorter paragraphs etc. bolding parts that you think deserve more reader attention etc., and if you feel you started a thread and ended up getting lost in the mix, make a post and remind readers that you had a question that you'd like answered if possible. Try to be concise, and this is coming from brevity's greatest enemy but do take my advice. Also remember that certain threads garner more attention than others depending on which forum they are on, as has been said already. 

You are taking things way too personally:happy: It's not that people dislike you or ignore you on purpose. So, don't be this hard on yourself. A thought: May be type things in a Word document when too long and post in installments (wait for a reply, get the conversation going and then add more info.) so there's no sensory overload. I am not patient enough for this myself, but it may be worth it to try. 

If I knew much about typology/Enneagram etc., I'd ask you to approach me directly for questions. Alas, I am a beginner. But, for questions unrelated to personality theory, hit me up whenever you like. 

By the way, why do you care about how interesting you are to people on an anonymous forum? Just be who you are, and take pride in yourself and ignore the post counts in your thread because they mean nothing in relation to how good, interesting and awesome you may be as a person. So, chin up! :happy:


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## screamofconscious (Oct 15, 2009)

Reasons I'm aware of that people don't respond:

1. They lack the knowledge appropriate to engage in conversation
2. They feel intimidated for any variety of reasons
3. You're just so damned good, you covered every point they would have thrown in
4. You're so incredibly nice, they don't have the heart to pick apart your arguments.
5. They lack interest in the topic at hand (which can be gauged by the number of views of your thread)


I often feel disappointed when I get no response on something I wrote that I think was well thought out and compelling. And then I'm surprised later when I get positive feedback on it, out of the blue. 

I'm sure it's not personal.


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## mrscientist (Jul 4, 2010)

Jojo said:


> Don't take it personal. It happens all the time. You are not alone. Many members have that same situation. Sometimes I feel like the post killer.


Not true. All my threads are awesome. And locked.


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## Jojo (Jul 5, 2010)

mrscientist said:


> Not true. All my threads are awesome. And locked.


You are the exception not the rule! LMAO


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## Conscience (Mar 9, 2010)

I get frustrated for the very same reason.
Sometimes, I wonder if there is a hidden status on PerC that makes responding to certain people's posts. Maybe it's not the post itself, but maybe it's because some of us are a less respected member than the one who is asking that other question? I honestly don't get it. While some get loads of help, the responses for me and you are bare? What's going on!?


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

Yellow are you a type 9? That could explain why you feel like that. Read type 9 ennegram. <.< i understand that feeling all too well...it is like not being appreciated enough. ^^ maybe you try too hard or it gets overly complicated? 

:\ if you figure out how to make it more interesting plz let me know also.


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## InevitablyKriss (Dec 23, 2010)

I get awkward sometimes replying to threads. Like just now, I just wrote up a full answer for you and then erased it.

I don't have your answers, but know I at least appreciate you, and you're not off-putting, right now you're just frustrated which any normal person would be. I know I would be. I don't like being ignored, it whispers to me that my insecurities must be true, in which I quickly bat those thoughts away and brood.

But, I did click on your thread, and I did read your post, and I did read the following posts, because you're my acquaintance, and I like you, and appreciate you.


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## Ikrash (Dec 19, 2010)

ha ha well you got one famous thread now so why worry besides friend life is a mix of win and losses sometimes you win sometimes you lose dont lose heart though


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