# Is it an act of rudeness towards a person to think of them when you masturbate?



## Filigeedreamer (Sep 4, 2010)

Niether flattering nor disgusting...just rather...weird. Interacting with them, in the back of my mind I would always be thinking "you imagine me when you masterbate...and probably doing erotic things...and now you are just making polite conversation with me..." some how that would just feel strange and not quite right. If we were in a relationship it wouldn't be odd at all, as I'd know they valued me for my than how I looked.

I think that would be why it would be odd to me, I don't like being seen purely as a sex object, and if a person hardly knows me and is doing that, they are likly only seeing me that way...now if they were masterbating about me because they like who I am as well, some how it's less weird, and more flattering. Though, really, it seems a bit smutty telling people about it, especially in such a way it got back to me. Some things I just don't need to know. 

Gender would make not difference to me feelings about it.


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## Digger Blue (Dec 1, 2010)

According to Keirsey, INFJ's tend to be very confusing to their mate because they insist on "being in the mood". If their mate is masturbating about someone else, maybe the "I'm not in the mood" tune has been played way too long. Would her mate be jerking off and thinking of his love's big (insert color here) eyes as she tells him, "I'm not in the mood!"
digger blue
:sad:


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

Typically I don't care when someone says they think about me that way. I have come to expect it. 

There are a few people who I wouldn't want thinking of me that way though, because they need to get over me, and keep that psychological distance in tact to do so. 

I personally don't think about someone unless I sort of have their permission, like we are at that stage in the infatuation for it to be expected. The times I made an exception it just didn't do much for me anyway, so I don't.

And I agree with Slider's comment. I don't think about someone else when I do it, when I'm in a relationship. I would only think of my boyfriend when I do it. It is cheating. Cheating can be in the mind, absolutely.


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## Lokkye (Dec 28, 2009)

I'd be flattered, and a bit surprised too I'd admit :tongue:


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## lirulin (Apr 16, 2010)

Meh. Thoughts are free. I wouldn't feel flattered or grossed out or anything, but telling me is deeply unnecessary. Think about fucking the michelin man for all I care - it's not my business and I don't want it to be.

It doesn't work as a pickup line, though. Seriously, it doesn't. Stop using it people.


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

How would you find out if nobody told you? The only way to possibly find out if someone thinks of you while they masturbate is if _they _tell someone. It is rude to mention someone's image as a sex object to them or to someone else, but it is impossible for something to be rude if it's never mentioned. Rudeness is not inherent, only perceived, and you cannot perceive it if it's not expressed.

Therefore, it is never rude for someone to think of you when they masturbate unless they mention it. If somehow God or Buddha or someone came down from the sky and let me know that without a doubt someone was thinking of me while they masturbated... then I wouldn't care. Similarly I don't care if someone thinks badly of me but doesn't show it at all, or if someone wishes me dead or harmed, or makes personal judgments about me, so long as it does not impact my life in any way.


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

I couldn't even remember who all I had to apologize to if you were correct with that question.


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## Torgirl (Feb 11, 2011)

Of course I'd be flattered and wondering what positions he is imaging us in and hoping in his imagination I'm really good! :tongue:


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## mickey (Jan 7, 2011)

I have been enjoying everyone's answers but am a bit surprised. I suppose it's just me, but I literally feel I am doing someone a disservice when I think of them in that way. (Though I still do it and am just glad that there's no way they could guess). I imagine how uncomfortable it would be for them if they _could_ realize, however. I guess _I'm_ the one who's uncomfortable! 

Well! 

I never!

Also, I am surprised that some people consider it some sort of cheating to not think of your SO all of the time. This is bizarre to me, in that I have pretty much assumed that men masturbate much more than women and that it would be possibly unworkably boring to think of the same person every time for x amount of years (mostly considering married couples here). 

I also support masturbation. If you didn't masturbate often, you would have to have sex often in order to stay healthy (in my expert opinion). Sex is a hell of a lot more problematic than 'doing maintenance' (that's what I call it.- HA HA!). Following that chain, I am not bothered at all by my husband imagining someone else. I'm just glad it's working for him and me and it's good for him. If it were possible for people to not fantasize while they were masturbating, I doubt there would be such a thriving porn industry. 

I can admit, however, that this may be due to the fact that emotionally I am very 'sex is one thing, love is another'. Though I am in NO WAY friendly to swinging, open relationships or cheating. Why? Icky icky icky ewwww. Weirdos infringing on the 'us against the world' bond between me and my husband. What could be more revolting?

Also, strangely enough, I do not like porn. My husband does, and that's cool. I do not feel threatened by it. But me.... I have to imagine something a little more real. It really helps me if what I imagine is very familiar. I'm bizarre myself, I guess. How am I not surprised about_ that_ part?!!!


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

lirulin said:


> Meh. Thoughts are free. I wouldn't feel flattered or grossed out or anything, but telling me is deeply unnecessary. Think about fucking the michelin man for all I care - it's not my business and I don't want it to be.
> 
> It doesn't work as a pickup line, though. Seriously, it doesn't. Stop using it people.


Yes, thoughts are free. I could care less what people think when masturbating. We have no 
control over the thoughts of others anyways, if that ever happens, then i give up.


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

mickey said:


> I have been enjoying everyone's answers but am a bit surprised. I suppose it's just me, but I literally feel I am doing someone a disservice when I think of them in that way. (Though I still do it and am just glad that there's no way they could guess). I imagine how uncomfortable it would be for them if they _could_ realize, however. I guess _I'm_ the one who's uncomfortable!


It sounds like you may associate guilt with sex in some small way. Maybe it's just shyness; I don't know you, so I couldn't say. The few times I've masturbated to someone's image while single I felt a bit paranoid about them ever finding out, but it doesn't make me feel guilty or anything. Maybe you subconsciously feeling like you're doing something to them without their knowledge/consent?


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## Seren (Jan 20, 2011)

Hey, I'd be flattered. I don't view myself as attractive in the slightest, so when someone else does I'm surprised.


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## Cheveyo (Nov 19, 2010)

I'd be rather confused, honestly.
I'm not very good looking, what kind of weird fetishes does that person have?
Am I that weird fantasy you get sometimes that you can't explain and feel strange for having it?


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## Bunker Man (Jan 4, 2011)

It is somewhat. Personally, I'd find it hilarious, but that's just because I don't care about things. I imagine some people might find it weird.


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## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

It's not a compliment because it's too creepy.

It's not offensive because it's expressing heavy attraction to your significant other.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Depending upon the person, I would like a detailed description of what_ I _was doing :wink:


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## Skum (Jun 27, 2010)

As long as I don't have to hear about it, I don't care. 
I guess I'd be flattered if it were someone I viewed as attractive. As far as anyone else I think I'd be indifferent.


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## Shine (Jul 16, 2010)

Dude. I really wanna know if someone has thought of me while masturbating now. It's really bothering me that I'll never know who has, haha.

But yeah.. I don't find it rude, it's more like an ego booster.


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## Vic (Dec 4, 2010)

It used to bother me.

I've been unnecessarily prudish in the past.


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## z5500x4 (Dec 7, 2010)

Shine said:


> Dude. I really wanna know if someone has thought of me while masturbating now. It's really bothering me that I'll never know who has, haha.
> 
> But yeah.. I don't find it rude, it's more like an ego booster.


lol. I am thinking that too.


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