# The Insensitive Things We Say!



## Slkmcphee (Oct 19, 2009)

You ever unintentionally said or done something so insensitive that you yourself are shocked by it?

We just moved about 6 weeks ago. We are on an army base and we have neighbors with whom we share a big carport area. Our neighbors are dual-military (his and hers dog tags) and she is getting out soon. I could have sworn that her husband said that she was "expecting" but I guess I didn't hear what she was expecting. They went on a big road trip and when they got back I commented that she must be really tired from driving all that way. She said, no, that he did all the driving.

_And here it comes, the stupid...._

I said, "oh, that makes sense, because of the..." and here I gestured a large, round stomach over my own with my hands, implying that she was pregnant.

She looked at me confused and then said, "oh, no, I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat!"

How was I supposed to know that she was _expecting_ to be chaptered out of the military for her weight!?

Anyone else have to have their foot surgically removed from their mouth?


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## st0831 (Jul 13, 2010)

The news of a death are the worse for NTs. 

Oh, someone died?
Did he/she go peacefully?
Is the family alright and still functioning?


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## danicx (Dec 5, 2009)

Oh I hate when I have to react to news of a death! Or if someone has cancer or something. I've lost any ability to have a "natural" reaction and I'm always mostly interested in observing the grieving person as a study of human emotion and attachment. So it will be like,

person: "My grandfather died last sunday."

me: "Oh! Shit."

me: *awkward head-bob during uncomfortable pause*

me: "So, I guess you're pretty sad right now?"​


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## Molock (Mar 10, 2010)

My insensitive comments are usually failed jokes.

True story: During my high school years...

My friend was complaining about a friend who wasn't doing their fair share of the work on a team project. In fact, he claimed that the guy wasn't doing ANYTHING and that he wanted to KILL him. No later than two weeks later the guy he was complaining about killed himself. My friend was very distraught and came to me. Know what I said?
...
"Your desire came true, he's dead"
...
...

I can't believe that I said that :sad:


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## NiDBiLD (Apr 1, 2010)

Molock said:


> My insensitive comments are usually failed jokes.
> 
> True story: During my high school years...
> 
> ...


*laughs uncontrollably*

Oh holy shit. That was awesome.


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## scarygirl (Aug 12, 2010)

I would hate having children.


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## Trainwreck (Sep 14, 2010)

I once accidentally gave the middle finger to an entire funeral precession :blushed:

I thought it was some kind of protest or some weird religious group, all I knew was there was like 160 cars on the freeway going 30MPH in the slow lane with their caution lights on, so I sped by, finger out the window, came to the front, saw a hearse, realized I was going to hell so I better live it up while I'm here on earth, and haven't looked back.


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## Radiant Flux (May 7, 2010)

My friend was bawling over the loss of her dog she'd had for more than a decade and I said:

"Well, you can always get a new one. I mean, you'll get over it soon enough."

Yeah. Not a good idea. My friends stopped trusting me with their emotions after that time in 6th grade...


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## Slkmcphee (Oct 19, 2009)

Radiant Flux said:


> My friend was bawling over the loss of her dog she'd had for more than a decade and I said:
> 
> "Well, you can always get a new one. I mean, you'll get over it soon enough."
> 
> Yeah. Not a good idea. My friends stopped trusting me with their emotions after that time in 6th grade...


Yeah, I never have gotten the animal-love thing. For me, they are just a reason to own a lint roller.


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## PulpFictionFan (Jul 12, 2010)

Trainwreck said:


> I once accidentally gave the middle finger to an entire funeral precession :blushed:
> 
> I thought it was some kind of protest or some weird religious group, all I knew was there was like 160 cars on the freeway going 30MPH in the slow lane with their caution lights on, so I sped by, finger out the window, came to the front, saw a hearse, realized I was going to hell so I better live it up while I'm here on earth, and haven't looked back.


Nice! 

I've made too many people pissed off at me but what can I say? Shit happens... The odd thing though is that when I do piss people off, it's usually through verbal teasing and then I'm still friends with them. I'm not shocked when I do this however, it's just what I do: I piss people off. :tongue:


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## HannibalLecter (Apr 18, 2010)

I am not insensitive, I am truthful.

"That was a dumb thing to say."
"That's looks ugly on you." OR "You look ugly in that"?
"Why would you do that; that's asinine!"


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## Trainwreck (Sep 14, 2010)

PulpFictionFan said:


> Nice!
> 
> I've made too many people pissed off at me but what can I say? Shit happens... The odd thing though is that when I do piss people off, it's usually through verbal teasing and then I'm still friends with them. I'm not shocked when I do this however, it's just what I do: I piss people off. :tongue:


Lol, one of my best friends is ENTJ and there are times I wonder if he isn't a sociopath for the ways he can toy with people.


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## socalmtb858 (Jul 5, 2010)

I didn't say this, my buddy did. We were at an accident scene and someone asked, "I'm looking for Jose." My buddy points to multiple body parts and says, "Well he's right there. And there. And over there too." Nice job numb nuts. It was Jose's brother.


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## dagnytaggart (Jun 6, 2010)

Oh no, I'm the KING of stupid commments.

My roommate had to put her cat to sleep on a certain day, and when I came home, the first thing I asked her:
"Is the cat dead yet?"
I literally clapped my hand over my mouth, I was horrified how that sounded. And she was even more horrified. 


My assistant is 4'10, morbidly obese and she was about to stand on a tiny rickety chair to reach for something.

Me: "Frida don't stand on that. You'll still be too short to reach the box, plus you'll break the chair." (I stood on the chair and retrieved the box successfully)

She started crying right then and there. I had to "there there..." :dry: her for 10 minutes. It's not that I was insulting her - it was just a fact - she was just too heavy. The chair would've broken. 

So I didn't word it properly. It's still better than yelling, "Get off the chair!"


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## jr55 (Sep 3, 2010)

God said:


> Oh no, I'm the KING of stupid commments.
> 
> My roommate had to put her cat to sleep on a certain day, and when I came home, the first thing I asked her:
> "Is the cat dead yet?"
> ...




LOL... Things sounds wrong most of the time when we open our mouth and people usually get upset about it. But we usually crack the bystanders up.


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## Ancalimon (Sep 17, 2010)

I was on a trip with some friends and we were sleeping at the grandma's of one of the guys, and she had a cat. I don't like cats. Anyway, I was sleeping in the room with an INTP friend of mine and every night that damn cat entered in our room, climbed on our beds and kept walking on us, awakening us. I don't like to be awakened. I don't like to be awakened by cats. 
At first we were like "ok, let's put this fucking cat outside", but by the third night or so we had a great idea: let's put the cat inside the closet! And so we did. Every night, before going to sleep, we caught the damn cat and locked it inside the room's closet and took it out by the morning. 
Needless to say, in a certain day we forgot the cat inside the closet and left for our daily activities. We were at a bar, it was 10 PM or something and my friend yelled: "OH CRAP!" everybody was like: "What happened?” he said: "The cat!” I yelled "OH CRAP! The cat!” the other guys: "What the hell?”.
We explained the whole situation, everybody was shocked and the grandson of the cat's owner said: "You must go there and take the cat off that closet!" and we replied: "If it was there for 12+ hours it can endure a few more".
When we got back at the house our hostess said: “Boys, did you saw my cat today? I’m so worried!” we replied: “Ermm… I don’t think so…” and rushed into our room to take the cat off, he was there alive and in one piece. 
The good thing was that the cat didn’t got any close to us ever again.


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## dagnytaggart (Jun 6, 2010)

Ancalimon said:


> I was on a trip with some friends and we were sleeping at the grandma's of one of the guys, and she had a cat. I don't like cats. Anyway, I was sleeping in the room with an INTP friend of mine and every night that damn cat entered in our room, climbed on our beds and kept walking on us, awakening us. I don't like to be awakened. I don't like to be awakened by cats.
> At first we were like "ok, let's put this fucking cat outside", but by the third night or so we had a great idea: let's put the cat inside the closet! And so we did. Every night, before going to sleep, we caught the damn cat and locked it inside the room's closet and took it out by the morning.
> Needless to say, in a certain day we forgot the cat inside the closet and left for our daily activities. We were at a bar, it was 10 PM or something and my friend yelled: "OH CRAP!" everybody was like: "What happened?” he said: "The cat!” I yelled "OH CRAP! The cat!” the other guys: "What the hell?”.
> We explained the whole situation, everybody was shocked and the grandson of the cat's owner said: "You must go there and take the cat off that closet!" and we replied:* "If it was there for 12+ hours it can endure a few more".*
> ...


Classic. :crazy:

That made me laugh so hard, cause I did something similar! 

I was dogsitting at someone's house once, scheduled for 8 hours, but the puppy was a handful and NOT housebroken. My friends called me and wanted to pick me up to grab a bite to eat right then and there, so I put the puppy and its food and water in the shower stall (the kind with sliding glass doors) and barricaded the entrace with furniture so it couldn't get out. 

Then I went off with my friends for nearly the whole day, got back to the place an hour before the owners came back, and lo and behold, the shower floor was covered in piss and shit. I took out the puppy and the drain strainer, ran the water until everything went down and got paid $80 an hour later. :laughing:


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## Nitou (Feb 3, 2010)

Me (to coworker): Did you spray perfume?
Her: No.
Me: It smells like a whorehouse in here.
Her: That's my lotion.
Me: Oops blubber blubber sorry.
Her: LMAO


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## Nomenclature (Aug 9, 2009)

Girl in my class, about whom another girl was talking to me because of her lack of taste in guys: "You guys were making fun of me while I was away, weren't you?"
Random guy: "We weren't making fun of you for what you probably think... oh, wait."

:crazy:


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## Filo (Aug 11, 2010)

Okay, I was at the chess club. Some guy was talking about a girl one class below me. I said: "Oh Isis? (for that was her name)? isn't that the batshit crazy ugly redhead that looked like she touched a high-voltage line?" "Yes, that's my daughter, and..."


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## Nomenclature (Aug 9, 2009)

"Mr. [Teacher], I missed you yesterday [when I was absent]!"
"Oh... you were gone?" :mellow:

:crazy:


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## Immemorial (May 16, 2010)

Person: I hate you.

Me: I hate you and I hope that you die of cancer.. :mellow:


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## Protagoras (Sep 12, 2010)

I said something incredibly insensitive this morning. Our history class was waiting outside the classroom for our teacher and I was standing alone against a wall, just kinda staring into the distance, when I suddenly saw some kind of small creature standing next to me from the corner of my eye. Without thinking I said (with a somewhat sleepy voice since I was bored to death): "Hey, there's a midget standing next to me." and while I was saying this I realized that it was one of my classmates standing next to me... the one who always gets picked on for being small. I felt really guilty because I think he's an incredibly nice person but the harm was already done. He then turned to me with an insulted look on his face and said: "I'm really long you know! I'm 170 centimetre and that's within the average region." Luckily he wasn't really upset about it for a long time.


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## rappf (Feb 14, 2010)

"Well, someone's having fish for lunch." (A little too loudly in a random corporate office.)

"You know, walking in on a dead person isn't on my top ten." (Two weeks ago.)

"I'll nurture to a certain extent. In other words, I'm not going to be the one holding your hair back when you vomit." (Last week.)

"I hate crying children." (Yesterday.)



HannibalLecter said:


> I am not insensitive, I am truthful.


I'm just truthful AND insensitive. (Sometimes, tact just takes way too much energy.)


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## Van (Dec 28, 2009)

Her: I got my hair cut.
Me: Oh good, it looks better.

I meant it nicely, but she didn't agree.


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## Hermes (Aug 9, 2010)

"Oh why did they marry?"

I think I might have been better of shooting myself in the foot with that question :frustrating:


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## SlowPoke68 (Apr 26, 2010)

Old neighbor guy strikes up a conversation:

"I just had quadruple-bypass surgery. I'm slowly recovering"

Me: 

"Well now I'll bet you're wishing you had actually exercised and eaten better, eh? LOL!"


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## Raichan (Jul 15, 2010)

''You are only seeing things through your feelings''

Fyi; there are times when feelings do tell the truth, when coupled with facts, that is.


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## Black Rabbit (Apr 15, 2010)

My friend called me because she needed someone to listen to her problem. Mistake #1 for her.

*Her: *My brother's in jail for doing something really stupid. He was throwing glass bottles outside his car with a little 18 year old. Blah blah blah blah ---it sounds serious and he could get some time. I'm so scared for him. I'm going to get a bail bond since my parents won't do it.

*Me:* I think your parents have a reason why they're letting him stay there. He's an immature 20 something year old brat and he won't be grateful if someone bails him out. He needs to learn a lesson.

*Her:* *Distraught voice* You don't get it.....


End of the story: She bailed him out, the crime wasn't even that serious (Which I also told her), she's in major debt and he still smooch's off of her. She should've listened to the voice of reason.


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## Jazzlee (Aug 28, 2010)

A friend of a friend of mine who has been worried for a while that her boyfriend is cheating on her: He dumped me. FOR ANOTHER GIRL. (starts crying her eyes out)

Everybody: (coos and goes 'there, there' and hands her tissues and hugs her and pulls a B&J bucket out of nowhere)

Me: Well, see it from the bright side. At least you won't have to worry about him cheating on you anymore, right?

Everybody: (*Ultimate Death Glare With A Capital D*)

Me: (thinks: _Ohshit_.)


I blame it on the coffee I had before these news. It was definitely the coffee, I tell you.


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## Hermes (Aug 9, 2010)

Scintilla said:


> "Mr. [Teacher], I missed you yesterday [when I was absent]!"
> "Oh... you were gone?"


That happened once to me, not because the teacher didn't like me just that I was always there and on time so the on day I wasn't he just automatically assumed I was there, and for that matter so did my friends. It took a while to convince them otherwise :crazy:


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## PseudoSenator (Mar 7, 2010)

My older brother had broken up with his SO for the second time.

Me: "Which one hurt more?"

:frustrating:


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## Treeton (Mar 10, 2010)

"It's okay, come over here and be an asshole with us!" - Me, after watching a kid who went to go greet friends get called an asshole who needed to go away.

I am in no way a smooth individual.


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## RainetheWolf (Jul 6, 2010)

My mom and I were returning some clothes that she couldn't fit into. She then went to shop for some more clothes.

Her: I bet I could fit into this.
Me: I bet you said that the first time you were here.

I don't know if that is insensitive or not, but she didn't think it was very funny as I could tell by her somewhat fake laugh.


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## Raichan (Jul 15, 2010)

''Your need to share is most likely fueled by your insecurities in how you deal with real life''

Bitter much?


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## KTC (May 5, 2010)

"I know I'm going to be stuck hearing this story anyway, so just tell it now."
I have the single most tolerant roommate ever.


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## PeevesOfCourse (Apr 15, 2010)

Slkmcphee said:


> She looked at me confused and then said, "oh, no, I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat!"


I've done that. It was so embarrassing that unless it's a very small-boned person with a huge watermelon under her shirt, I will not assume pregnancy and will not offer good wishes.


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## productivity (Apr 15, 2010)

socalmtb858 said:


> I didn't say this, my buddy did. We were at an accident scene and someone asked, "I'm looking for Jose." My buddy points to multiple body parts and says, "Well he's right there. And there. And over there too." Nice job numb nuts. It was Jose's brother.


Well your friend is extremely honest for doing that. What an arse! :dry:


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## epp (Oct 12, 2010)

izzie said:


> ''You are only seeing things through your feelings''
> 
> Fyi; there are times when feelings do tell the truth, when coupled with facts, that is.


there is no need to confuse intuition with emotions... the latter hardly ever tell you anything useful.


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## LostInMyOwnMind (May 5, 2010)

This past Sunday after seeing my wife dressed to go to the grocery store in a bright orange blouse.
"You look like a big pumpkin."

My wife is not at all overweight but I'm pretty sure any woman would take offense to that. She actually broke up laughing knowing what an incredible dweeb I can be at times.


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## Nomenclature (Aug 9, 2009)

"My mom taught me Newton's Laws when I was in elementary school. She regretted it when I started using 'every action has an equal and opposite reaction' as an excuse to hit my brother back."


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## wafflecake (Aug 30, 2010)

Yesterday I was chilling with my gf.

Me: Hey, you have something on your face. [reaches and wipes it off]
Her: Thank you, babe <3<3<3
Me: No problem, it was stuck in your 'stache. 
Her: [shocked and embarassed look, stammering incoherently]
Me: I know, I know, some girls need to wax. I guess it's time for you to, judging by your reaction.
Her: [drives away, holding her hand to cover her mouth]


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## Unbekannt (Sep 27, 2010)

An excerpt from a chat log with a close friend:

Friend: So, I have some important news...
Me: Yeah?
Friend: I'm gay.
Me: for srs?
Me: ... Nah.


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## KaylRyck (Feb 2, 2010)

wafflecake said:


> Yesterday I was chilling with my gf.
> 
> Me: Hey, you have something on your face. [reaches and wipes it off]
> Her: Thank you, babe <3<3<3
> ...


Wow, I would so do that too. :crazy:


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## bionic (Mar 29, 2010)

ESFJ Mother: "Why aren't you going out tonight?"
Me: "Because Scott (one of my best friends) is sick and I feel like shit."
Mum: "What does he have?"
Me: "I don't know and I don't care. He never asks when I'm sick"
Mum: "That's so insensitive of you."
Me: "Look, I don't give a fuck. Its not like he is in the hospital. If it bothers you so much, why don't you go ahead and call him."
Mum: "You're being so insensitive right now"
Me: "And you're being unproductive meddling in my non-existent social life than doing the housework you've been complaining about for the last 20 minutes. Get back in the kitchen where you belong."


Anyone want an INTJ sister? :frustrating:


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## RafaelEnvoy (Apr 25, 2010)

I have one, thank you very much... :frustrating:

Wouldn't have it any other way though. roud:


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## Napoleptic (Oct 29, 2010)

I have one that I'd like to apologize for now, but I'm not sure if doing so would only make it hurt worse...

In fifth grade we made these Valentines that...well, I don't remember exactly, but it was mushy stuff that did actually describe how I felt, but I would never say out loud. I handed it to my mom (whom I love dearly) and said, "I don't really mean it." What I meant was, I was forced to make the card with someone else's verbiage, so I felt that it was insincere even though I actually _did_ feel whatever the message was. :frustrating:

Oh yeah...my mom's an ISFJ. :sad: It still hurts me that I hurt her like that and I want to apologize, but I'm pretty sure I couldn't explain it in a way that would make sense (to anyone but an NT, that is).


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## Random Ness (Oct 13, 2010)

Friend: What do you think of this picture?
Me: It's not very interesting. [goes into detail about why I don't think it's a good picture]
Friend: ...I drew it...

D'oh!


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## The Exception (Oct 26, 2010)

There was one time where I was working and a mother came up with her toddler who was wearing a blue "helmet" on his head. I told the mother the helmet was cute. It turns out it wasn't a helmet at all but a headpiece he had to wear to give his head additional support. He had been born with some medical condition I couldn't pronounce.

I was sooooo embarrased. Luckily the mother was forgiving of my faux pas.


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## KatHorcrux (Sep 18, 2010)

Oh gosh. One instance that comes to mind was when my then-best friend, who had severe self-esteem issues and suffered from self-mutilation, asked me if she looked like a whore that day because everyone always called her one. I, of course not thinking, responded with a shrug and, "ehhh, no more than usual." I went back to doing whatever I was doing at the time before realizing what I had said. :frustrating:
Took a good 2 hours of consoling her to make up for that one, which is especially challenging for me, but was somewhat aided my my hero complex. :happy:


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## Green Girl (Oct 1, 2010)

I did one awful enough to revive this thread:

Setting: Thanksgiving dinner with the in laws. This is a big deal. We are all supposed to show love and virtuousness.

Mother-in-law: telling long boring story about someone she knows who s sick with cancer but who won't tell anyone, and how all his coworkers were complaining that he shouldn't have been hired because he missed so much work, but if they only knew the truth . . .

Green Girl: "He still would have been a bad hire for them even if they knew. After all, he's missing a lot of work, they would have been better off hiring someone healthy."

Mother-in-law stares in shock.

Green Girl: " Logically, I mean. It's not practical to have someone that sick --"

Spouse, desperately attempting Hail Mary save, interrupts: "I think Green Girl just means we should respect his wish for privacy, right?"

Green Girl, realizing she has yet again horrified Mother-in-law, attempts Fe: "Uh, sure. Um, how is the man now? Is he better?"

Mother-in-law: " He's dying."

Green Girl: "Oh. Uh, that's too bad. But at least the work problem will be resolved soon. You know, because he'll be dead and they can hire--"

Spouse, very loudly: "This is great pie! Let's all have some more pie! Right now! Green Girl, stop talking and eat some pie!"

I ate my pie and shut up then.


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## Jomama (May 21, 2010)

Somewhere between the ages of 4-6, I was watching my mother doing her hair in front of the mirror. I noticed her backside was much, much larger than mine: "Mommy, how come I have a little bottom and you have a GREAT big one?"

She still holds this one against me 30 years later, lol.


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## Napoleptic (Oct 29, 2010)

I was wrong. It wasn't Valentine's Day, it was Mother's Day. Funny I should be reminded of it so soon to the holiday again. I'd apologize in a heartbeat if I thought I could make my mom feel better, but I don't know if it wouldn't just hurt her all over again, and it absolutely kills me to think that I hurt her at all. I love my mom more than just about anybody - how could I have said something so awful that could have hurt her so badly? :sad:


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## bionic (Mar 29, 2010)

Napoleptic said:


> I was wrong. It wasn't Valentine's Day, it was Mother's Day. Funny I should be reminded of it so soon to the holiday again. I'd apologize in a heartbeat if I thought I could make my mom feel better, but I don't know if it wouldn't just hurt her all over again, and it absolutely kills me to think that I hurt her at all. I love my mom more than just about anybody - how could I have said something so awful that could have hurt her so badly? :sad:


May I suggest bringing it up to her again and explaining what you truly meant? She may or may not still remember it so it wouldn't hurt to try to patch things up for the sake of your guilt.


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## DeductiveReasoner (Feb 25, 2011)

Once I saw a group of solemn looking friends, thinking I could cheer them up, I walked up with a smile on my face and asked "who died?" turns out, someone ACTUALLY died...oopsies. That's only one of many times I've had my foot in my mouth.


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## JLL (May 5, 2011)

I attacked several people, several times on their hobbies.

I won't specifically say what I said back then (probably among the most hurtful things I've ever said) because I still feel ashamed for it.
I know that it really did hurt them, very deeply and I am still very sorry.

This taught me that, even when angered or attacked, there are things one should never say.
Now I think 10 times over before actually saying something.


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## Mr.Xl Vii (Jan 19, 2011)

I dont remember what happened, but this one girl (ENFJ) I had a thing for dated one my douchey friends (ESTP), and I admit I was a bit jealous to an extent, but by this point I had gotten over that aspect. What I was more upset about was that I no longer had one of my best male and female friends because they sort of merged into one entity and no longer hung out with us. 

Well anyway, we were hanging out outside one day after they stopped dating and she made a comment about how she felt that people cared more about her boyfriend loosing his freedom when they were dating than her or something to that affect.

And I blurted out "Well, that's because you're the supporting character to your own life"

I laughed and she almost immediately bursts into tears. We made up when I realized it struck a chord, but she still brings it up to this day.


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## Invisimort (Mar 22, 2011)

A friend of mine was remarking on how she couldn't believe she had passed a chemistry test. I was paying no attention, since I was watching a computer screen and simply replied "I can't believe it either."
She got over feeling insulted. We're still friends. All is well.


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## dagnytaggart (Jun 6, 2010)

Happened a few days ago....still reeling in embarrassment.

A friend that I only see a few times a year has a cat who ALWAYS insists on climbing on me and attaching herself onto my lap like a lump, like a damn tumor. 

I sat down on her armchair, and her cat spots me from the other room and makes her way toward me. I asked the girl, "Can you make your freckin tumor cat stay off my lap tonight? I don't want scratch marks on my legs."

She pauses and I already see her eyes watering up. "Did someone tell you about Thornberry's diagnosis?"

So she told me about the fatal tumor the cat had. In my horrific attempt to make her feel better, I made it 1000x worse by trying ot make a joke: "Well, they've got medical researchers on it. Just think, instead of a lapcat, she'll be a labcat!"

"That's...not funny."

I didn't know what else to do but get up, sit on her toilet, and ponder the error of my ways.




(yes, I was "under the influence"...)


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## Askeladden (Mar 13, 2011)

"I was diagnosed with depression"

"That's cool."

What do say to something like that anyway?????


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## Ngg (Jul 22, 2010)

Me and Indian friend, hanging out and cracking stupid sex jokes.

Me: I heard a study about how Indian men have smaller penises than the world average.
Friend: Yeah ok whatever you say. 
Me: Well it makes senses considering a third of your country is famished.
Friend: No comment...


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## scarygirl (Aug 12, 2010)

Have you ever made someone cry with your comments?
The more honest I am, I feel it is the more I make people cry.
I don't even try to.

Specially my ESFJ mother. I don't know why but I make her cry SO easily.


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## ProfessorLiver (Mar 19, 2011)

I always lock my doors when a black person walks by. Does that count? Subconscious racism.


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## dagnytaggart (Jun 6, 2010)

Okay I really need a muzzle.

Me: "I just don't judge people based on race, I don't make assumptions. It probably helps that I grew up in such a diverse city. For example, I've had a black teacher, an Indian teacher, a white teacher, and a Jewish teacher all at once in the sixth grade How many kids grow up with that?"

Friend: "Uh, how do you know when people are Jewish?"

Me: "By their noses."

Friend: "Now that's not racist."

Me: "I meant...by their Moses...stories. My mom is Jewish, so I didn't mean it in a bad way. Look, see? I have a nose bump. Just look at it from the side. ...I also have Moses stories."


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## affezwilling (Feb 1, 2011)

I usually watch what I saw very closely for a couple reasons 1) so I don't say something completely insensitive even though it is true and 2) so I don't say something that can be misconstrued as a promise for something that I either can't or have no intention on following through with. I do like the thread though because I'm usually thinking what the posts on this thread have said, I just don't usually say it out loud.


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## Gentlemen (Nov 18, 2010)

I got in an argument with my younger esfj sister about religion, and it is obvious tears were shed. I have to try to not correct her at all, or else she cries. It is painful to hear her say stuff that isn't true, then claim I'm being mean to her when I correct her. 

It doesn't help to have a mother who has little tolerance for debate.


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## Empecinado (May 4, 2010)

Gentlemen said:


> I got in an argument with my younger esfj sister about religion, and it is obvious tears were shed. I have to try to not correct her at all, or else she cries. It is painful to hear her say stuff that isn't true, then claim I'm being mean to her when I correct her.
> 
> It doesn't help to have a mother who has little tolerance for debate.


I hate that. I can't seem to point out any flaws. I was having a debate with a friend who is an xNFP about Macs. I was told to drop it because I was being SO lame. I was apparently mocking and laughing (???) but also attacking. I don't understand why some people can't take a debate abstractly, our discussion wasn't an ego battle. I think the point is that people just like to seem they are correct, rather being correct.

I've been told I was insensitive and selfish. I think that's because I don't cry in response to the nonsensical insults, especially when they sound more like "fhgjkdhtgk fsdtbghsfrg dfhgdjgh !!!" to me.


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## CiJeay02 (Feb 13, 2011)

"Oh no, don't throw out the idea of Intelligent Design like that, it might hurt someone's feelings! ...lol."


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## Pendragon (Dec 31, 2010)

I told a friend today that if _I_ found a skull in my neighbourhood, I'd keep it and not tell the police, because I've always wanted a real human skull. Apparently, that's insensitive because the family might be worried, or something. It still makes no sense, though - if it was a skull rather than a severed head (with rotting flesh and the like), it'd have been quite a while ago. Surely they'd have got over it by then.

(The conversation wasn't completely random, by the way, something similar happened near us. I mean, a skull was found in the woods or something.)


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## Kr3m1in (Jan 16, 2011)

Yeah news of death I am terrible with...like, that one time:

friend: both of my uncles died this weekend
Kr3m1in: such is the life. want some rum?

:/

I always say offensive shit. And half the time I don't know why it's offensive, but people start gasping and shaking heads and making o-faces.
Like the other day I said that cousin's new baby looks like a naked mole rat. My ESFJ mother almost fell off her chair and started screaming and getting all emotional about it. But it's true...it fucking does..what am I to say?


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## ContextSensitive (Apr 13, 2011)

Okay, I'm an INFP not an INTP, but my mother recently told me she wanted to visit my dad in the hospital, since he had had a heart attack before. I answered her and said: Have fun! xD" Ahh, I recognized later that is was kinda unfriendly.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

oneoutside said:


> Oh I hate when I have to react to news of a death! Or if someone has cancer or something. I've lost any ability to have a "natural" reaction and I'm always mostly interested in observing the grieving person as a study of human emotion and attachment. So it will be like,
> person: "My grandfather died last sunday."
> 
> me: "Oh! Shit."
> ...


Yep, pretty much. I've learned to fake an "F" and say something like, "I'm so sorry. Were you close with him?", etc. 

One of the ways in which I've matured is to recognize the awkward emotional situations in which I'll typically revert to being analytical/philosophical/solution-oriented when I should in fact either stay neutral and STFU, or affirmatively show compassion. Any INTP who wants to develop any sort of acceptable social skills definitely needs to learn the skill of biting his/her tongue. 

It sounds so cold but we as INTP's have to use our strengths of creative logic and excellent use of language to figure out how to empathize and verbalize in a way that shows compassion. I never feel like I do it perfectly, and sometimes very poorly if I'm not being mentally nimble in that moment. My best friend, who is a ExFJ, is so good at doing this - it's so natural for him.


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## Berdudget (Mar 24, 2011)

oneoutside said:


> Oh I hate when I have to react to news of a death! Or if someone has cancer or something. I've lost any ability to have a "natural" reaction and I'm always mostly interested in observing the grieving person as a study of human emotion and attachment. So it will be like,
> 
> person: "My grandfather died last sunday."
> 
> ...


I just want to add that when my dad was dying of aggressive malignant melanoma last year and it was causing him debilitating pain, disfiguring and disabling him, my ENTP husband was the only one who seemed capable of joking with him about it. He said shocking, seemingly insensitive things and my dad found it refreshing. It made him laugh during a time that almost nothing could. 

For example, the tumors completely covered his left arm and the arm was so swollen he couldn't fit it into a shirt sleeve. The swelling was so bad, the skin burst at one point when he lost his balance trying to use the bathroom in the middle of the night and fell on the arm. Everyone else cringed in his presence just thinking of the pain and humiliation. My husband, on the other hand, made some joke about my dad getting "ripped." Like he was so buff, he was ripped. His arm was MASSIVE. LOL. I don't remember the exact wording. 

But, I mean, no one else could have pulled that joke off. No way.

During this intense time, my husband and I were actually having some pretty serious relationship issues. And, though some of the insensitive things he said to me about my dad (like not taking it as seriously as it was for me because he never knew his father and hated the man and didn't care when he died so he just couldn't really relate I guess) weren't what I really wanted to hear, he was extremely supportive during that period in other ways. He kept me from getting too dark and too serious. It was a very valuable personality to have in the mix.

So, my point is, yes, insensitive things were said - even to the point that my husband made himself cringe - but there is definitely a time and a place where this is a useful thing. You guys make the truth come out, even when it hurts. That's a good thing. The price is that...it doesn't always go over well. But, oh well! I'm sure you can live with yourselves just fine. And so can I.

 I'm a little addicted to the way NTs think, in general, to the point that I disparage myself. I kind of put NT thinking on a pedestal. I recognize that. LOL. But I shouldn't have just made this about me. HAHAHAHAHAHA.


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## BusinessMan (Apr 21, 2011)

This past Remembrance Day I was sitting in the library with a group of classmates who were all sensors of some sort. They were talking about how it's Remembrance Day, can't really remember.

Me: Do you think that people will stop celebrating Remembrance Day in a few years when everyone who was alive during WWII have died?

This was mainly based off logic but apparently insensitive. But entirely truthful.


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