# Friend "copying" my likes?



## Goya (Nov 26, 2015)

I have a friend (well, he's actually my friend's brother but he most of the time hangs out with us) that has been copying the stuff I like for the last couple of months and it kind annoys me, oh man, it does annoy me so much xD
He has started to do a lot of things just because I do them, even small things like the tv shows I watch or the places I like to go to eat. I once showed him a place and told him I'd been meaning to go for a while and the other they he sent me a photo that he had gone with his family.

I don't know why, but I think that I, somewhat, have a superiorty complex towards him. Like I don't want to share the things I like with him because he hasn't "discovered" them himself. I'm writing this and I feel like it's such a stupid thing, but with other people I'm not like this. In fact he's the first person that has made me feel this way, or at least to such strong degree.

I have decided to try to not share anything with him from now on -or at least try to keep most things to myself- but I'd actually like to not feel like this. 

Any advice? 

Thanks!


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## Finny (Jul 17, 2015)

Talk to him about it. See what his intention are/why he's doing it. Tell him how you feel about it. 
That's the only way until he either stops after time or you'll have to continue avoiding talking about your interests around him.


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## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

Just as you want new experiences, so does he. Perhaps he learns of new things from many people, not just you. Get over yourself.


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## MatchaBlizzard (Sep 20, 2011)

My little sister used to do that. I've also had friends that do that. I usually changed what I said or did so that I could feel like myself in an unenchroached way again. Then they would follow, after awhile I could pick up old things again that weren't new enough to copy anymore. I really don't know what to tell you as far as fixing it unfortunately. It's hard, because it's inside you, and you don't necessarily want to hurt the other person, but it's hard to change yourself too. Anyway, I know how you feel if that's any consolation.


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## Notus Asphodelus (Jan 20, 2015)

He looks up to you as a role model.


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## 124567 (Feb 12, 2013)

I was also a bit irked before when others imitated me even though they thought I wouldnt notice..but then I took it as more of a compliment. They see you as an inspiration <--- look at it that way. :kitteh: I think it's pointless to try and stop him..what about another one and another one..etc.. can you stop the whole world?


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## Goya (Nov 26, 2015)

Doge Precedes said:


> Just as you want new experiences, so does he. Perhaps he learns of new things from many people, not just you. Get over yourself.


Yes, many of his interest's are thanks to other people he met, I never said I was the only one or the queen of cool things xD
I was just writing about how the situation makes me feel. I don't have this issue with other people so I guess there's something about him that provokes this response in me, but I can't put my finger on what.


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## marblecloud95 (Aug 12, 2015)

_Looks like you've taught him to _

* *











*SMASH DAT FUCKIN LIKE BUTTON*


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## Swede (Apr 2, 2013)

Goya said:


> Yes, many of his interest's are thanks to other people he met, I never said I was the only one or the queen of cool things xD
> I was just writing about how the situation makes me feel. I don't have this issue with other people so I guess there's something about him that provokes this response in me, but I can't put my finger on what.


I don't think its an unusual response, tbh. Sometimes we are a bit territorial about things we like/discover, etc. It can be for several reasons, like a competitive nature, guarded personality, you are still trying to define who you are, etc.

Try not to be too hard on yourself; at least for me things tend to sometimes get worse to more I think about it. Basically, you are trying to analyze and resolve a problem that might not be based on logic. That will make it impossible to resolve, not matter how hard you think about it and this can in turn lead to frustration that magnifies your general negative feelings. 
Just accept what you feel, shrug, and your feelings/reactions to this situation will likely decline over time.


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## zombiefishy (May 12, 2013)

I was like this before where I would react negatively when somebody else "copies" my interests.


But now that I'm older (not old, but ya know, not a teenager anymore haha), it's harder to find people who has same interests as me and I react more positively when people I know want to get interested into the things I am interested in.

Maybe instead of having this "superiority complex" towards him, try embrace it and even do activities together with your shared interests. Like, you mentioned liking the same tv shows. Maybe watch these shows together and fangirl/fanboy over it together! Or when you said eating at the same place you eat at, you guys can go eat there together!!! 
It's more fun to do things you are interested in with people! At least, I think so!


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## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

LuvGen said:


> He looks up to you as a role model.


Yep!

I think it's natural to recoil when you feel like someone is infringing on your identity, but in all rationality, there's very little threat to you. He is inherently a different person than you and he will soon enough grow out of his phase of imitating you. In the meanwhile: 

_"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery"_

He thinks you're awesome, basically. Might as well embrace that. I agree with @zombiefishy that it'd be pretty cool if you could enjoy something together with him. If you do choose just one area to bond with him, it might satisfy his desire to imitate you while also allowing him to open up about some of his own unique self with you - thereby helping him be more himself.


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## Doll (Sep 6, 2012)

This used to happen to me when I was on Livejournal. I was one of those users who had the ridiculously specific likes, so when someone "liked" the same thing, I would get so uppity about it... or when someone "stole" my layout or tried to emulate my online persona. Looking back, it seems silly, but it was important to me. 

Try to be flattered. Clearly this person doesn't know who they are, and they're experimenting a little bit. Try your best to be understanding and take it as a compliment, not an insult. At the end of the day you're still you. He'll like something else in a few weeks. Just give it time.


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## Aldys (Nov 14, 2011)

Yeah, this would happen to me all the time when I was younger. It never really bothered me, though. Just figured it was because I'm cool as hell.


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## ForestPaix (Aug 30, 2014)

Take it as a compliment. I would.
The things you like don't actually belong to you, and you should be happy that someone else you know is appreciating those things. Heck, I know I'd be happy if someone liked all the same stuff I did.


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## Goya (Nov 26, 2015)

Thank you all for your responses! 

*Swede* I think your advice was spot-on, I guess the best thing is to accept I'm feeling like this and maybe try to make those negative feelings into positive ones.


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## piano (May 21, 2015)

"I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better."

i like it when another person shares my interests. i don't however like it when they copy my interests. that's a one-sided friendship if i ever saw one. that's why i have a problem with it, actually. it's not that the person is copying me, or you, or anyone because everyone copies everyone. consciously. unconsciously. all the time. but it's draining to have a "friend" leach onto your interests like a sponge while contributing nothing of value to the friendship. if i wanted to be friends with someone who was exactly like me then i'd befriend my mirror. so i'll tell you what my mom told me when a "friend" stole a short story of mine and tried to pass it off as her own because she's a &[email protected]^$#*@&$: "they can copy you all they want, that's temporary, but your talent is yours forever."

if your likes really are that important to you, though, then you can always just keep them on the DL.

but, uh. real talk for a second. did you ever think that maybe he has a crush on you?


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## AddictiveMuse (Nov 14, 2013)

Goya said:


> I have a friend (well, he's actually my friend's brother but he most of the time hangs out with us) that has been copying the stuff I like for the last couple of months and it kind annoys me, oh man, it does annoy me so much xD
> He has started to do a lot of things just because I do them, even small things like the tv shows I watch or the places I like to go to eat. I once showed him a place and told him I'd been meaning to go for a while and the other they he sent me a photo that he had gone with his family.
> 
> I don't know why, but I think that I, somewhat, have a superiorty complex towards him. Like I don't want to share the things I like with him because he hasn't "discovered" them himself. I'm writing this and I feel like it's such a stupid thing, but with other people I'm not like this. In fact he's the first person that has made me feel this way, or at least to such strong degree.
> ...


How old is he? Sounds like he's got a bit of a crush on you. How cute. XD


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## Brian1 (May 7, 2011)

don't push people away that like you.


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## Goya (Nov 26, 2015)

@AddictiveMuse Funny that you mention it, because he indeed confessed that he liked me more than a friend. I need to change my outlook and don't take it as something negative.


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## Wickedsix (Jan 10, 2016)

AddictiveMuse said:


> How old is he? Sounds like he's got a bit of a crush on you. How cute. XD


That's exactly what I was thinking, it kind of sounds like he likes you and is trying to find some common ground with you.


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## piano (May 21, 2015)

Goya said:


> @AddictiveMuse Funny that you mention it, because he indeed confessed that he liked me more than a friend. I need to change my outlook and don't take it as something negative.





i cant play the piano said:


> but, uh. real talk for a second. did you ever think that maybe he has a crush on you?


did i not ask that? haha people are copying my posts and getting credit for them!


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## General Lee Awesome (Sep 28, 2014)

I like to have minions. as long as they quote me when they use my intellectual properties.


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## Word Dispenser (May 18, 2012)

Goya said:


> I have a friend (well, he's actually my friend's brother but he most of the time hangs out with us) that has been copying the stuff I like for the last couple of months and it kind annoys me, oh man, it does annoy me so much xD
> He has started to do a lot of things just because I do them, even small things like the tv shows I watch or the places I like to go to eat. I once showed him a place and told him I'd been meaning to go for a while and the other they he sent me a photo that he had gone with his family.
> 
> I don't know why, but I think that I, somewhat, have a superiorty complex towards him. Like I don't want to share the things I like with him because he hasn't "discovered" them himself. I'm writing this and I feel like it's such a stupid thing, but with other people I'm not like this. In fact he's the first person that has made me feel this way, or at least to such strong degree.
> ...


They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

I know that when I really admire someone, I copy them. Maybe I want to _be _them. Suddenly, they become my hero-- But, this doesn't usually last.

Also, we learn best by copying others, too. There's nothing inherently wrong with it, and it's pretty natural.

I may be biased about this, because, as a kid, I was made fun of a lot for copying others, and they would avoid me and treat me pretty badly. 

But, I guess if it's at the point where it seems stalkery or creepy, that maybe you should hold back. *shrug*


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## Libra Sun (Sep 7, 2012)

Goya said:


> I have a friend (well, he's actually my friend's brother but he most of the time hangs out with us) that has been copying the stuff I like for the last couple of months and it kind annoys me, oh man, it does annoy me so much xD
> He has started to do a lot of things just because I do them, even small things like the tv shows I watch or the places I like to go to eat. I once showed him a place and told him I'd been meaning to go for a while and the other they he sent me a photo that he had gone with his family.
> 
> I don't know why, but I think that I, somewhat, have a superiorty complex towards him. Like I don't want to share the things I like with him because he hasn't "discovered" them himself. I'm writing this and I feel like it's such a stupid thing, but with other people I'm not like this. In fact he's the first person that has made me feel this way, or at least to such strong degree.
> ...



My significant other is going through this exact thing with a friend, and I always tell her she should try to be more understanding. I think part of that reason is my being able to identify with her. I understand why she wants to emulate her, and I think there's just a strong admiration there. I don't think people who copy or emulate should be written off as creepy or annoying. In my SO's case, this girl (at least through my perception of her) doesn't know who she is and is trying to discover who that is, and I think she's trying on different personas to find one that fits. It's something I've always done as well, and I think when you lack a strong sense of self, there's a tendency to seek external validation and live vicariously through other people. So my advice is to just let him learn and discover what he likes at his own pace. And keep sharing because you shouldn't have to hold back any part of yourself.


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## Alpha_Orionis (Jan 18, 2015)

I think that maybe he is looking up to you, maybe.


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## yet another intj (Feb 10, 2013)




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## Goya (Nov 26, 2015)

Update: I've come to realize that I really, _really_ find his personality annoying. And when he started to copy my interests, I guess I see it, in a way, as him getting closer to me, when I actually want to push him away. 
The funny thing is, I try to avoid him, but he keeps talking to me xD And now that he basically copied so many of my likings, he kind of wants to talk about it. And God knows I've tried to see this in a flattering way, but I can't and that makes me double pissed off. I think that if I liked his personality this would be totally different. He's the first person ever that has made feel and react like this. 

I even told him that he "suddenly" seemed to be interested in things that he never talked about before and that, "by chance", were thing that I liked or did. I said it in a joking way, but he openly admitted it, saying he's been a copycat since birth xD 


Oh good lord, give me patience.

P.S.: I already don't really talk to him about anything related to myself, just random things about the day. I've also planned to gradually reply him less and be more blunt in my answers (hopefully he'll get that the "friendship" is fading away), but I can't cut him off because he's my friend's brother and that might make things awkward.


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## UnknownCrash (Mar 15, 2016)

This is 1 of the main reasons I don't deal with people (that much anyways). I find all of them to be fake , always wanting something from me. Take an example from what I experienced, so quite a while back in school I've built myself quite a reputation, all of a sudden this guy approaches me and tries to be my friend, so back then I wasn't quite guarded (low on J that time) so I let him become my friend, slowly he adapted my behavior, I too thought that he looked up to me, slowly he turned everything against me, the people who liked me (well accept me), my best friend, and I became the villain to everyone. My point is, don't bother to deal with this kind of people, they are parasites, they take what you have and use it on you, twist your world upside down, detach from him immediately, you don't have to give a crap on who his brother is, just confront him and tell him you don't like him, you don't have to care for his feelings (he wouldn't care about you once he is finished ) Bear in mind that you are you, no one can be that, no matter how hard it is you know it is true. Just stay away from this kind of people


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