# NF: Depression/Suicidal Thoughts??



## thegirlcandance (Jul 29, 2009)

I was just wondering if any of you NF's out there have felt like you were/are prone to depression and suicidal thoughts? I would naturally think this is likely since we think and feel so deeply we can easily jump to extreme highs and lows. I know for myself I developed this around 7th/8th grade and it continued up until college a little bit, but it has mostly dissipated since then. I've never done anything and never will (mostly because I don't have the guts to) but the thoughts have easily come to mind when I'm in spouts of deep hurt and pain. I'd say this was most prevalent in high school because I often felt that I lacked a sense of belonging amongst all the cliques. I often felt like I was at a war of: belonging vs. being true to myself. Plus, I often felt a bit more mature that my peers. It seemed like a lot of the things I noticed during freshman/sophomore year my peers didn't realize until senior year, if that.

Other NF types out here relate??


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

I felt like I was born with that personality that's easily depressive...and i know I was. My uncle and mom both are depressed and i have been on the brink of it before...but I've gotten over my problems with God's help and i feel unbelievably free and happy to where I can look back and be at total confusion at how I could have ever been in a dark place

"I'd say this was most prevalent in high school because I often felt that I lacked a sense of belonging amongst all the cliques. I often felt like I was at a war of: belonging vs. being true to myself. Plus, I often felt a bit more mature that my peers. It seemed like a lot of the things I noticed during freshman/sophomore year my peers didn't realize until senior year, if that."

I gotta say that i relate to that, but I take pride in being myself and not trying to be like everyone else...and I do feel like I realize things other kids don't, but I'm probably wrong...I don't know...it's just certain things that seem so meaningless mean so much to some kids


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## tan64 (Mar 9, 2010)

I am currently in a "clinical depression". I think a part of this is that I work for a life insurance company call centre and we are normally the first contact for those who have lost a loved one. There have been numerous times when both the caller and I are crying together while I take the information down. It's just like I have lost this person and I don't even know them. If the call is taped for review, its then pointed out to me, that we are not supposed to get emotionally involved with the caller. 

I had thought I had gotten out of taking these phone calls when I switched to the underwriters' call center, but then they put us back to taking these phone calls as well as the in-force calls, which means I'm back to trying not to feel anything for these poor souls on one of the worst days they have. When I do this I come off as cold and aloof. Can't win for losing.

My mother, sister, aunt and grandmother on my mom's side all fall into depressions as well.


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## inservio uberfrau (Mar 13, 2010)

i've been depressed for over 10 years and i'm only 19...was suicidal until recently when i made a series of breakthroughs on my identity and what i need out of life...now i'm just severely depressed, which is better than suicidal, as i'm starting to take positive steps towards the future


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## Blackbeard (Mar 13, 2010)

Ummm yea though the feeling of not wanting to live was much stronger a few years ago, they sneak back from time to time but I beat those ugly feelings away with some good music in my ears or some good weed (preferably both). For the most part I find life to much of a gift to ever let people drag me down far enough as to the point were I would want to take my own life, so I guess my pride won't let me die.:happy: So i gets in where I fits in and finding people that genuinely care is tough but I keep an open mind about it. I never limit myself to one race, gender, genre of music. 

Just trying to fit in with the status quo of my surroundings threw me into heavy depression, but like most, realization of self can bring you out. Not necessarily making life easier it does make it a lil better. lol


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## HonourThyCat (Jan 16, 2010)

I can relate to what you're saying, and I am prone to depression and I'm just generally a miserable cow at times. But I do wonder whether that's down to my NF preferences or if it's just another case of an over-dramatic and lazy teenager not realising how good she's got it.

It's so hard to know wheeher or not my own brand of misery falls into the depression category at times, because there's no handbook that tells us how "normal" people feel, and I think that's a problem that most people deal with, regardless of type. But maybe intuitive-feeling types are more prone to this, because it's in our nature to focus on our feelings and try and make them seem meaningful.

Let's put it this way: I've been informally diagnosed with depression and I struggle day to day with feelings of sadness and hopelessness and by the looks of this thread I'm not the only one who's felt this way. But I also think that as NF's who are prone to over-analyzing (did I spell that right?:mellow feelings, maybe we tend to make mountains out of molehills and blow up commonplace melancholy feelings, which does in turn lead to depression and suicidal thoughts.

*Shorter and less pompous answer:* I agree with all the points made in the original post.:tongue:


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## Kysinor (Mar 19, 2009)

thegirlcandance said:


> I was just wondering if any of you NF's out there have felt like you were/are prone to depression and suicidal thoughts? I would naturally think this is likely since we think and feel so deeply we can easily jump to extreme highs and lows. I know for myself I developed this around 7th/8th grade and it continued up until college a little bit, but it has mostly dissipated since then. I've never done anything and never will (mostly because I don't have the guts to) but the thoughts have easily come to mind when I'm in spouts of deep hurt and pain. I'd say this was most prevalent in high school because I often felt that I lacked a sense of belonging amongst all the cliques. I often felt like I was at a war of: belonging vs. being true to myself. Plus, I often felt a bit more mature that my peers. It seemed like a lot of the things I noticed during freshman/sophomore year my peers didn't realize until senior year, if that.
> 
> Other NF types out here relate??


I've been prone to and through *a lot* of depression but for some strange reason I've never got the idea of (genuine) suicidal thoughts. Yet at the same time I would at many times classify the depression I've experienced as well... not default by any means; questioned whenever what *type* of depression and the significance it has had on my life. However the type of depression I've experienced have in any case been unavoidable. Existential crisis perhaps? Not thoroughly sure but could be. 

Well actually I've got (subconscious) thoughts about wanting to *escape* the world. I've even constantly had multiple dreams in various stages of my life time (which repeat) that signify thus my wanting of escaping the world. I don't belong here and for each day that passes; the more disconnected I become and I can't stop whatever force which cause it... yet at the same time I don't feel that I become less happy by any means. 

Among other things I've dreamt have in some way proven to be true as well (even if the meaning at first in the dreams would be rather unclear if we're going to say it like that) and frankly that is a thing that scares me. Although I do my best not to worry about it. I'm definately leaving the world but not through any default means and I am sure it won't be a way of suicide. Whenever it is for the better or worse I can't tell but it is a thing that will unquestionable most likely happen. I'm just wondering if anybody else is following with me... I will most likely find out soon enough.


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## Roland (Jun 1, 2009)

I've often thought of ending my life. Though never have I thought of actually doing it, but rather just contemplating life and its absurdity. I think about this almost everyday.

Life is an experience. As far as we know there's nothing else for us after this, its possible that there is, but its just as possible there isn't.

Therefore life is a constant struggle. You must understand what you want and what you want to accomplish.

If your depressed, inform yourself. Learn about positive psychology and how to live long, because living a long life means living with happiness.

Killing oneself is only an acceptance of a lack of will. For some, its possible for some life isn't worth living. But for most of us, we take all that we have for granted and simply don't put it to a positive use.

I think NFs (possibly everyone) get depressed because of their lack of productivity. I know thats when I'm depressed. 

A great book on life, its struggle and absurdity and whether it is worth living or not is _The Myth of Sisiphus_ by Albert Camus. It is a masterpiece.


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## GreenCoyote (Nov 2, 2009)

Roland said:


> I've often thought of ending my life. Though never have I thought of actually doing it, but rather just contemplating life and its absurdity. I think about this almost everyday.
> 
> Life is an experience. As far as we know there's nothing else for us after this, its possible that there is, but its just as possible there isn't.
> 
> ...


I often feel I could never kill myself due to lack of will....

as sad as that is...

on a lighter note I liked this

"Learn about positive psychology and how to live long, because living a long life means living with happiness."

I have contemplated this...
I have always thought I had to choose...
long life OR happiness.

as weird as that sounds...
different perspectives.

also free will for some types I think is more dangerous for others...

cause I willed myself into smoking cigarettes because I knew I could die acceptably.
which is even more sad is that I am more concerned with fitting in for the people that love me...

so I can never kill myself...
I am not really allowed.
plus part of me knows at least I am on the path to death and i can change my mind...

what I realized later is that i am more physically stuck now in that addiction and am suffering from it.
they say it is more addicting than heroin.

it is always upsetting to hear someone say something about us and them to not understand how they are affecting us...
welcome to the dark side.


I am still trying to figure out if i am really in the dark though, or If I have transitioned into deeper meaning...

*~*


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## kingcarcas (Mar 23, 2010)

Yes, finding my personality type and forums such as these have been pretty helpful. Funny enough i took the test when i was up at night posting on a forum totally hammered and suicidal.


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## Female INFJ (Feb 27, 2010)

thegirlcandance said:


> I was just wondering if any of you NF's out there have felt like you were/are prone to depression and suicidal thoughts? I would naturally think this is likely since we think and feel so deeply we can easily jump to extreme highs and lows. I know for myself I developed this around 7th/8th grade and it continued up until college a little bit, but it has mostly dissipated since then. I've never done anything and never will (mostly because I don't have the guts to) but the thoughts have easily come to mind when I'm in spouts of deep hurt and pain. I'd say this was most prevalent in high school because I often felt that I lacked a sense of belonging amongst all the cliques. I often felt like I was at a war of: belonging vs. being true to myself. Plus, I often felt a bit more mature that my peers. It seemed like a lot of the things I noticed during freshman/sophomore year my peers didn't realize until senior year, if that.
> 
> Other NF types out here relate??


I can relate...I started having depression issues in 1st Grade. It increased in intensity until about age 23. now under control and reversing it with spiritual practice. It is an inclination that has always been with me. As I child I just thought something was wrong with me, and I assumed it was just part of my defectiveness. But when growing older, I sought some psych help, which did not really help much other than at the level of awareness...then spiritual practice arrived about three years ago. Most depression problems have causes that may not be on physical and psychological plane, this is why spiritual practice aids greatly in depression...well this is what I have learned...

I have to be cautious...I have not had a serious episode in a while, but I try to take care of myself...I noticed I had to do something, because depression (although I mostly hide it) is causing havoc in my life...Maybe I will over come it, and I'll have a nicer story to share. Thanks for the company


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