# Do psychopaths desire or crave affection?



## Cleo (Jan 31, 2011)

Ozziechick1966 said:


> Yes I think they do,lets use Theodore (Ted) Robert Bundy as an example:-
> He was serial killer to possibly hundreds of women in the 1970's covering numerous states in the US.He was a narcisist,and was the illegitimate child of his mother who he was told was his sister.He was raised by his maternal grandparents and never knew who his father was.He was belived to have committed his first murder before puberty.During the bulk of his killing spree he lived with and became engaged to a woman,who he apparently loved and never harmed.Whilst he was on death row he married another woman who had his child.
> Peter Sutcliffe,the Yorkshire Ripper,also preyed on women in the mid to late 70's in England.He was married and his wife was not aware of his double life.Other killers who masqueraded as family men,and lived double lives while killing possibly include Jack The Ripper(1880's,London),believed to be James Mayberry,and the Boston Strangler,Albert De Salvo.They all exhibited narcisistic,dominating personalities and never harmed their immediate families who were totally unaware of what was taking place around them.


But this is coming from a psychopaths account. He said he loved her. I know psychopaths can commit to someone to some degree, but I mean do they want affection. I wonder if they get that rush of endorphines when they touch someone.


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## Cleo (Jan 31, 2011)

SaiKick said:


> @Cleo
> 
> sorry for derailing the topic i totally forgot it was themed around affection; i'm pretty sure my ex-friend (well he probably still thinks we're friends bc i didn't tell him i think i figured out he's a psychopath) is one.
> 
> ...


I am wondering if someone else is one. It was weird how he split after I let him put his disgusting hands all over me. Of course there were other characteristics too; complaining about so many people around him, telling me how beautiful I am over and over again, not seeming to have any long-term good friends, and most of his facebook friends were women. Personality wise he fits the description; charming, over-acheiver, extraverted. He is impulsive too. It seems like he would get ideas and then just take off. He kept telling me how much he liked affection though. He was OCD, big time too.


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## SaiKick (Jan 4, 2011)

Ozziechick1966 said:


> Yes I think they do,lets use Theodore (Ted) Robert Bundy as an example:-
> He was serial killer to possibly hundreds of women in the 1970's covering numerous states in the US.He was a narcisist,and was the illegitimate child of his mother who he was told was his sister.He was raised by his maternal grandparents and never knew who his father was.He was belived to have committed his first murder before puberty.During the bulk of his killing spree he lived with and became engaged to a woman,who he apparently loved and never harmed.Whilst he was on death row he married another woman who had his child.
> Peter Sutcliffe,the Yorkshire Ripper,also preyed on women in the mid to late 70's in England.He was married and his wife was not aware of his double life.Other killers who masqueraded as family men,and lived double lives while killing possibly include Jack The Ripper(1880's,London),believed to be James Mayberry,and the Boston Strangler,Albert De Salvo.They all exhibited narcisistic,dominating personalities and never harmed their immediate families who were totally unaware of what was taking place around them.


@Ozziechick1966 -- interesting cases; how can we be sure that 1)it wasn't the most efficient way to sexual gratification? (the other being forcing it onto women); and the marriage during prison... could that be explained away by the narcissism? a need for the image of being a complete "man"?

I have a hard time truly believing that a psychopath will go through the lonely withdrawal that us "normies" go through; like after a breakup with someone you love, your heart literally feels like it breaks and you clutch your chest in pain from the hurt. 

^Can a psychopath experience the torment of the loss of a love one? I'm interested to explore Bundy's marriage in prison for any other selfish motives. 

sometimes if i breakdown my motives too logically I wonder if i'm a psychopath sometimes; for example, i wonder, did I really care for/about her? or just the things and feelings she could provide me with!?  it is the consequence of having a higher than average IQ either way; 

it is generally not the dumb psychopaths that we are worried about, but the smart ones that make their way through society unnoticed


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## SaiKick (Jan 4, 2011)

Cleo said:


> I am wondering if someone else is one. It was weird how he split after I let him put his disgusting hands all over me. Of course there were other characteristics too; complaining about so many people around him, telling me how beautiful I am over and over again, not seeming to have any long-term good friends, and most of his facebook friends were women. Personality wise he fits the description; charming, over-acheiver, extraverted. He is impulsive too. It seems like he would get ideas and then just take off. He kept telling me how much he liked affection though. He was OCD, big time too.


I'm sorry to hear that Cleo. I was assuming that may be the case in how you were acting, so thanks for sharing out in the open. It sucks but I'm kind of going through the same hurt with my ex-friend. Also, you gotta assume that people with the ability to super stab you in the back or walk all over your heart... you gotta assume they have some psychopath in them.

Selfish is one thing. But being so selfish as to not consider the detriment to the other party-- that's psychopathic. 

This is why I began by mentioning "no feeling of guilt." Because at times it's rather difficult to separate the narcissistic (non psychopath) from the true psychopath. This is because psychopaths embody most if not all of the narcissistic behaviors and symptoms. 

The distinction (as far as I can gather) is the ability for one to feel guilt. The guilty narcissist will admire himself and suck you dry of your energy-- but once he/she realizes she has harmed you greatly, and depending on perception, will feel sorry. Now it's all the more difficult to find out bc as we all know they can fake emotions.

So if you dated a psychopath it's likely it was all selfish, and you were used
if you did not date a psychopath, there's a chance the person feels guilt

i'm somewhat drawn to this topic bc i have been screwed over myself and i'm finding accounts on the internet (like now) of cases;

and it sucks because these aren't like serial murder cases, these are just accounts of people getting emotionally screwed, which can feel like death, over and over again.

I swear i've gotten my heart broken by at least two psychopaths, i just don't want to admit the 2nd one bc that was my ex gf of 6 yrs, but i'm clinging onto the fact that she's just a deeply troubled narcissist ; either way my best solution is to cut every single essence of them out of your life and if your life improves, then ipso facto they are a drain on you either way and it's good riddance.


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## AussieChick (Dec 27, 2010)

My estranged husband exhibited psychopathic tendencies,and he supposedly loves me.He is obsessive,compulsive,selfish,narcisistic,possessive,jealous blah,blah,blah......He hasn't killed anyone,but was almost killed himself in a car accident aged 12.He now has an accquired brain injury and seems a bit slow in many ways.Perhaps that's the issue,their brains aren't wired correctly or a severe knock on the head completely changed their personalities.


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## Cleo (Jan 31, 2011)

Ozziechick1966 said:


> My estranged husband exhibited psychopathic tendencies,and he supposedly loves me.He is obsessive,compulsive,selfish,narcisistic,possessive,jealous blah,blah,blah......He hasn't killed anyone,but was almost killed himself in a car accident aged 12.He now has an accquired brain injury and seems a bit slow in many ways.Perhaps that's the issue,their brains aren't wired correctly or a severe knock on the head completely changed their personalities.


Really! What area of the brain was damaged?


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## AussieChick (Dec 27, 2010)

I don't know,he was hit side on and one ear was almost severed.He suffers mild intellectual disability,long term memory loss,and is very immature for his age.After the accident he was in a coma for 8 weeks and had to relearn how to walk,talk ect.I don't believe that his mother reinforced/retaught the things he had learned before his accident.He was at or around puberty at the time of his injury and I conclude that he was just reaching that stage again when I met him.


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## Cleo (Jan 31, 2011)

Ozziechick1966 said:


> I don't know,he was hit side on and one ear was almost severed.He suffers mild intellectual disability,long term memory loss,and is very immature for his age.After the accident he was in a coma for 8 weeks and had to relearn how to walk,talk ect.I don't believe that his mother reinforced/retaught the things he had learned before his accident.He was at or around puberty at the time of his injury and I conclude that he was just reaching that stage again when I met him.


I have read that damage to the temporal lobe, which is by his ear, can cause sociopathic behavior. Other areas can cause it too, like the amygdala and frontal lobe. So depending on the area, different characteristics show up.


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## conscius (Apr 20, 2010)

Cleo said:


> Do they desire to be physically close to someone or is it mostly a means to gain sexual gratification or way to dominate? I am more so talking about the secondary type, which are cerebral and anxious.



a pure psychopath, by definition, would only think about manipulation or sex. But there are a lot of people with some level of psychopathy but they're not pure psychopaths. So yes, those want affection.


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## amanda32 (Jul 23, 2009)

psychopaths don't like to share, it's a means to an end. If they get close it's only for their pleasure. They only care about themselves.


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