# Sticky  Introverted Feeling



## NeedsNewNameNow

DanseMacabre said:


> <.<
> 
> I recently broke off all contact with a friend who I was completely open with. She's an INFP too but she wouldn't be open with me much at all...
> 
> The only reason I broke off contact and feel very alienated about it now is because I wasn't, and still aren't sure if the friend likes me much. If I knew that she did, then I would never had stopped talking to her. So I suppose that we're all terrified of opening up to people who may not trust or like us (Even if they've told us that they do!), thus to prevent us from dropping a relationship, we have to know that we matter to someone.
> 
> 
> Urgh, I hope that makes sense. I only just woke up :blushed:


I have a close INFP friend who almost broke off contact with me a month ago. From hearing her issues, the underlying thread seemed to be that she wasn't feeling very cared-for anymore. I do care about her a great deal, and I thought that was obvious. Maybe not. What kinds of things would help you know you mattered?


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## OrangeAppled

This is the description that helped me see I was Fi-dom and not INTP. It stays very faithful to Jung, but is worded less densely.

The highlights for me were....

*Here the activities of feeling are hidden, and from the outside there is, as a rule, little to tell us that we are dealing with a person of **feeling-type.* Feeling *aims more especially at an inner harmony*, trying to discover what under various circumstances should be the right relationships between people if life is to be beautiful and well balanced. 

*They conceal their sensitiveness behind a mask*, which may be childish or simple, or again conventional, remote, or it may be friendly. 

*Outwardly, their feelings are not very obvious, for when these are affected, these people tend to withdraw into themselves, and if they do express anything, it will only be much later, after they have had time to work it all over within themselves. *

*In ordinary life their mask conceals what they really are. But there is, nevertheless, something very individual about them, sometimes remarkably so, which will come to expression particularly in certain moments, in relation to certain people. This happens more especially in two situations: when they achieve real contact with another person; and when, in a state of high emotional excitement, they stand up for a threatened ideal. *

*...** they are nearly always misunderstood, and they tend more or less to resign themselves to this situation. This contrast between a clear intention, directed towards harmony, and uncertain modes of expression, giving rise to misunderstandings, is found again and again in the lives of these people. *

*In childhood they are gentle and dreamy, and somewhat reserved, but with occasional violent outbursts of emotion.* 

*The expression of other people's feelings in poetry and music*, and the realization,* through the reading of stories* and biographies, of the depths of their spiritual experience, may have the effect on these people of *making them feel more at home in the world*. In this way, *there develops in them a life of the spirit, which is carefully concealed from strangers, and which may be expressed, for instance, in a secret piety, or in poetical forms, which are revealed only with great unwillingness. *

Whereas the woman of extraverted feeling-type has it in her to create an atmosphere of harmony around herself, *in the **introverted woman of this type all the riches of her mind will be developed into a love which is inwardly directed towards the highest ideals of harmony*. 

*All the modes of expression for the deeper impulses of the spirit in religion and art find great support in such people.* *Whether they are artists or scientists, they are still primarily attracted by problems of the emotional life. They express themselves in such occupations with great care and precision*.

... *the controlling activity is directed more inwards, and ** will occasionally come quite unexpectedly to light.* *feeling is expressed more indirectly.* 

*They are not bound by the judgments of others* — as is the feeling-extravert — for the standard by which *they judge their own behavior is an inner moral law, intuitively felt to be binding*. 

*...their continual comparison of things with ideal requirements gives them an exaggeratedly critical point of view*. 

*Where intuition is developed, it is of great assistance in finding expression for **introverted **feeling, both in practical life and in art*.


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## IllBeBach

rswear said:


> Interesting I need to mull it over a bit.
> 
> This cracked me up though:
> 
> Good article I am glad you posted it.


I'm glad I wasn't the only one that caught that lolol


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## MilkyWay132

Hmmm...I do not always detect lies, so I guess Fi might not be my dominant function. In fact, I think I'm pretty naive. Honestly, I don't understand why INFP's are described as smart and everything. I know I'm not smart, so it makes me feel like I'm really not an INFP.


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## Stallout

*applauds* Great article, its scary sometimes how well these things end up describing the way I think...


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## dntknwy

Blue Heart said:


> Have any INFP's had this experience, of opening up to a confidant, and then suddenly and unexpectedly breaking off contact? I recently had an INFP friend open up to me in a profound way, and reading this kind of thing makes me nervous...if any INFP's can help talk me out of my tree, or give me a dose of reality, I would appreciate it.


YES, m INFP and this is among one of my most prominent features. I can become v close to someone but might break off as well and that too unexpectedly. The reason behind this is mostly a sense of insecurity or distrust in the person which arises bcoz of sum behaviour of the other one. I dnt show that sumthing has gone wrong inside me reagrding the feelings towards him/her and just break off all kinds of connections with the other one without giving any reason or explanation.Later if i meet him/her i bcum v uncomfortable although i dnt show dis and behave as if nothing has happened and m just a bit busy in my life but inside my heart i just pray not to meet him ever.Dnt knw hw exactly to explain ...............but yes sumthing definitely goes wrong inside me regarding the feelings fr the other one which forces me to behave like this. Wenever the other person does sumthing which is not in accordance with wat i consider right i just quit silently. For eg. i hav a v close buddy wid whm i share everyhting nd suppose in public he said sumthing which i dnt like personally, although things said were nt the things to be marked if sumbdy else wud hv been at my place,a hitch cums in my mind immediately(although nobody cn ever guess abt it). i just cnt forget the behaviour nd i find it too stupid to explain it to the other one, therefore in such cases i just quit widout giving reasons. But yes most of the time i quit bcoz of the fear of getting hurt again. I find myself too sensitive and delicate at such places. Things will, undoubtedly, never be started from my side again. If the other one is smart enuf to understand all dis( like my frnds....) they never do sumthing like this and if u r nt den the realationship sinks and i bcum detached at all levels so as not to get bothered again.


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## dntknwy

NeedsNewNameNow said:


> I have a close INFP friend who almost broke off contact with me a month ago. From hearing her issues, the underlying thread seemed to be that she wasn't feeling very cared-for anymore. I do care about her a great deal, and I thought that was obvious. Maybe not. What kinds of things would help you know you mattered?



This is wat i expect fr.........u always hv to initiate if u want me nymore in ur life.....and if u do den u make me the happiest person on this earth............:happy:


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## Catfish

Psilo, thank you so much for these. Where did you find such insightful descriptions?

OrangeAppled, thanks for the simplified version of Jung's description. :happy: I understood some of what he originally wrote, but it was so dense that I'm afraid I didn't quite decipher what some of it meant.


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## Aelthwyn

Blue Heart said:


> Have any INFP's had this experience, of opening up to a confidant, and then suddenly and unexpectedly breaking off contact? I recently had an INFP friend open up to me in a profound way, and reading this kind of thing makes me nervous...if any INFP's can help talk me out of my tree, or give me a dose of reality, I would appreciate it.


NO, this is one thing I definately don't identify with. I have suddenly borken off things only with people that I am not close to. If I was starting to get to know someone, but they began to seem untrustworthy or too needy and clingy I have sometimes cut things off without much explaination, and I suppose they could have thought I'd really opened up to them when I hadn't, but with people I'm actually close to, NEVER! 

I suppose if I thought someone was interested in me romantically when I wasn't, I might distance myself without adressing the subject openly, but unless I felt that they were cold-hearted towards me I wouldn't just shut them out. Now that is something to note, I think, though. I am generally very caring and kind-hearted, unless I perceive someone to be unkind or agressive. Then I can suddenly shut off all tact and kindness and give them a piece of my mind and then slam the door in their face. 

I really value working things out with people, so even if I don't like confrontation, I will confront people if I feel like maybe there's something wrong in our relaitonship. I will tell them I feel ignored, or hurt, or unloved if I do. I will do all I can to bring about clarity between us. I will explain myself over and over to make sure they understand where I'm coming from. So, if I leave and they claim they didn't see it coming, then they were willfully blind. 

Furthermore I have a value of loyalty, and while I'm not too quick to consider people my Friend, once I do there is little that could ever change that. Very Little. In the past it was usually friends telling me they didn't want to me by friend anymore and I'd say, fine, you may not consider me your friend, but I will never stop caring for you and if you ever come back to me, I'll be here for you.


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## Aelthwyn

The introvert of feeling-type finds support and guidance by shaping his own feeling-attitudes *in accordance with an inner ideal.* Here the activities of feeling are hidden, and from the outside there is, as a rule, little to tell us that we are dealing with a person of feeling-type. *Feeling aims more especially at an inner harmony, trying to discover what under various circumstances should be the right relationships between people if life is to be beautiful and well balanced. Reality, however, reveals in most cases that this ideal is not attained, and introverted feeling is particularly vulnerable in regard to such experiences. This vulnerability — which may become as intense at that of the sensitive plant — is one of the most characteristic peculiarities of this type*.

Just as with the introvert of thinking-type, we find here, too, *a marked contrast between inner security on the one hand, and uncertainty in external behavior on the other*. But whereas with the introverted thinker this opposition gives rise to thought concerning the problems of life, *with the individual of feeling-type it leads to deep feeling, and to a strange mixture of inner tenderness and passionate conviction. These people are absolutely certain as to the soundness of their ideals, but this is accompanied by a helpless feeling that it will never be possible to realize them in this world.* They do not, however, reject the world, for feeling means the making of ties and is directed towards social contacts. In spite of ever-repeated collisions with the world and with other people, they can never give up their wish to love them both.

_(Actually, although there are a few people who are very dear to me, it is most likely that if given the chance to leave this world to enter a world more in line with my ideals I would do so. I have thought about this very seriously and often. It is a difficult choice because of those few people I really care about, but honnestly I have very little interest in or attachment to this world. I think I have never really seen myself as truely a part of it, and therefore have precious little ambition to really make a place for myself here. I certainly don't see myself as terribly people oritented.) _ 

They conceal their sensitiveness behind a mask,* which may be childish* or simple, or again conventional, remote, or it may be friendly. But behind this mask *the search goes on for someone who will understand, and for a community which will embody their ideals. However disappointed they are, they still in their innermost being believe implicitly in what their feelings tell them.* Even if they are not able to express it clearly in words, *they are inwardly quite certain as to what accords with them and what does not.* Outwardly, their feelings are not very obvious, for when these are affected, these people tend to withdraw into themselves, and if they do express anything, it will only be much later, after they have had time to work it all over within themselves.

_(I think I'm pretty expressive. I don't usually hide my feelings, and I often seek to talk them through or share them with friends. I may hide my discontent or hurt from aquaintances and people with authority over me for the sake of keeping interaction smooth, but with close friends, family, and strangers I am usually very clear with my emotions, sometimes even dramatic. I don't like hiding my emotions because I value being genuine and don't want to be misunderstood.)_

In ordinary life their mask conceals what they really are. *But there is, nevertheless, something very individual about them, sometimes remarkably so, which will come to expression particularly in certain moments, in relation to certain people. This happens more especially in two situations: when they achieve real contact with another person; and when, in a state of high emotional excitement, they stand up for a threatened ideal.*

*In the first case, a very profound relationship of mutual understanding may suddenly come into being, all the wealth of their minds being unlocked to the confidant;* sometimes this contact will later be broken off just as suddenly and unexpectedly, in defence of their own vulnerability. *And where his feelings are aroused, the person who appeared to be so impersonal, remote and somewhat insignificant may suddenly burst out with a personal point of view, expressed with such conviction and such force of feeling that it compels respect.*

*Such people may also resist with extreme obstinacy anything that does not accord with their sentiments. This resistance may be justified, in so far as it is based on a motive of fine feeling;* but the means used to give it emphatic expression is ill-suited to the external world, and in this respect incorrect. The consequence is that they are nearly always misunderstood, and they tend more or less to resign themselves to this situation. This contrast between a clear intention, directed towards harmony, and uncertain modes of expression, giving rise to misunderstandings, is found again and again in the lives of these people.

_(I'm not sure about the misunderstanding thing. I do feel misunderstood, but not because I didn't communicate clearly. More often it seems because people haven't bothered to pay attention to me and have simply acted on assumptions, or because of core differences they have not been able to understand my attempts to communicate, which to other people like myself are perfectly clear. Also I rather dislike the bleak picture this paints of always being misunderstood. Honnestly I think I'm fairly good at picking up on other people's style of communication and translating my thoughs/feelings into terms that seem to work for them.)_

*In childhood they are gentle and dreamy, and somewhat reserved, but with occasional violent outbursts of emotion. In familiar surroundings they can be unrestrainedly gay; but more often they are likely to exhibit violent resentment if circumstances do not correspond to their feelings, and it then seems to them that harshness and indifference prevail in the world. As a result, they seem to show signs of disappointment at a very early age, and a certain distrust of life.* Owing to their inability to express themselves clearly, and *to bring their ideals to reality, there may arise a feeling of impotence and inferiority.* _They are apt to seek the fault in themselves, and may suffer much from a sense of guilt on this account._ *Here, also, feelings have a tendency to extend their influence, with the result that their whole being may be plunged into depths of unhappiness; but at other times a genuine emotional contact with someone will once more fill them with a quiet and enormous delight. Now they will look at the world again with new eyes, and a feeling that is almost religious will embrace both nature and man.*
_
Later, also, the happiness of these people will depend on the emotional attachments which they are able to make, though they find it less necessary than do extraverts of this type to be in immediate touch with other people_. The expression of other people's feelings in poetry and music, and the realization, through the reading of stories and biographies, of the depths of their spiritual experience, may have the effect on these people of making them feel more at home in the world. In this way, there develops in them a life of the spirit, which is carefully concealed from strangers, and which may be expressed, for instance, in a secret piety, or in poetical forms, which are revealed only with great unwillingness.

This feeling-type is particularly found among women. Whereas the woman of extraverted feeling-type has it in her to create an atmosphere of harmony around herself,* in the introverted woman of this type all the riches of her mind will be developed into a love which is inwardly directed towards the highest ideals of harmony. Without saying or doing much, such a woman will emanate a feeling of rest and security. It is difficult to describe an influence of this kind, expressed as it is in such indefinite forms. But on the immediate environment it may be very effective. A mother of this type may have an even greater influence on her children than the devoted and radiant mother of extraverted feeling-type. These women are often able to implant and foster something of their own ideals in their children, exercising in this way a quiet force which helps to keep a respect for moral authority alive in the world.*

All the modes of expression for the deeper impulses of the spirit in religion and art find great support in such people. *Whether they are artists or scientists, they are still primarily attracted by problems of the emotional life*. They express themselves in such occupations with great care and precision. *Here again the persistence and devotion of the individual of feeling-type become evident. When they do give form to their inner feeling — in a poem, for example — they will carefully weigh every expression; at the same time, they will often neglect generally accepted social forms, which for them have no significance*; or they will employ conventional and simple forms as a mask, from behind which a more genuine and finer feeling

*Although in these persons the will, under the direction of strong moral conviction, represents an important factor in the psyche,*_ it is less evident than in the other rational types, owing to the fact that the controlling activity is directed more inwards, _and will occasionally come quite unexpectedly to light. Feeling is expressed more indirectly. It is most evident in the strong sense of duty characteristic of these people, and in their faithful discharge of their duties. *Their activity frequently suffers as a result of moods of discouragement. When this is so, they lose themselves in pessimistic feelings, giving up their efforts to make themselves better understood, or to alter things in their environment. After a time they recover from such moods,* since they tend, as a rule, to regard them as a fault in themselves.

_(I'm not sure if I'd say I have a strong sense of duty. Perhaps in some ways yes, but not in the ways that I feel others expect me to be dutifull. The only way I can see myself as dutifull is when I care for someone I am faithfull to them, and will do things I dislike for the sake of pleasing them. I also do want to do what is right, but I don't generally follow outside standards of this. I'm not sure if I'm understanding this paragraph correctly, but I would say that I am quite stubborn and willfull, but in a non-confronting sort of way. In that vein, I hate being told what to do, but I also do not like to direct others myself. If I don't agree, then I simply part ways, or do not talk about the things we disagree on.)_

*This contact with their own moral judgment represents an essential factor in the lives of feeling-introverts. They are not bound by the judgments of others* — as is the feeling-extravert — *for the standard by which they judge their own behavior is an inner moral law, intuitively felt to be binding*. While the extravert of feeling-type will repress, for the sake of harmony, things both in himself and in the external world which do not accord with his ideal, the feeling-introvert will remain more aware of such conflicts. _In him, however, the limiting and excluding activity of the demand for harmony may be detrimental in a different way, everything not consonant with that harmony being regarded from a negative point of view, as opposed to what is ideal and good. It is impossible for these people to see the world or themselves objectively, and their continual comparison of things with ideal requirements gives them an exaggeratedly critical point of view._ Since this also applies to their own lives, there is an undermining of their own self-confidence, *as well as of their confidence in the world*, which may seriously affect their happiness in life. It is necessary for these people to recognize that things which do not exactly accord with their ideals may yet have a value which may be developed.

_(While I won't claim complete objectivity as i believe it impossible for anyone to acheive, I wouldn't say it is impossible. I try to see things from other's perspectives and try to accept and find the value in oppinions that are different from my own. Even though I cannot addopt them for myself, I try to respect others who do believe differently and allow that all kinds are needeed in the world, as much as I may prefer to have only people like myself, I don't claim that this would truely be the best. I can see an ability to become criticle, but I don't think that I personally am overly criticle. In spite of moments when I see the world as mostly black, and can be cynical, I also generally have a more hopefull and cheefull outlook.)_

In these cases, also, the instinctual life is to a very large extent subordinated to the regulating force of feeling. *Since the relationship between moral conviction and instinctual impulse is here worked out more within the mind, there is less danger of pretence for the sake of the external world than with extraverts.* Instinctual feelings are subordinated to the ideal. At the same time, there may be a too forcible suppression of the instinctual life, in which case it will lead not so much to a split in the emotional life as to a certain joylessness, and to the feeling that life is passing without bringing any true fulfilment. There is too often a need to associate all pleasures and joys with some moral value, and to condemn them if this higher satisfaction is not obviously found in them.
_
(I'm not really sure what it's saying here. I don't think I 'associate all pleasures and joys with some moral value' though. I just like and enjoy things for what they are...because they make me happy. Seems pretty simple to me. I do however usually do not find joy in things I believe to be wrong. It's not a matter of holding back a desire to do it, but genuinely not wanting to do whatever things are wrong. It's not only from a desire to be 'good' but also usually from a practical standpoint of not thinking them wise or pleasurable or effective.) _

Intuition is also subjected to the authority of introverted feeling. _Intuitions here bear more on the inner aspect of feeling_ than on its expression in other people. They may give form to the laws of feeling, but in images rather than in concepts. *Where intuition is developed, it is of great assistance in finding expression for introverted feeling, both in practical life and in art. *Intuition may also provide a link with religious life, which, in this case, will be specially developed in its feeling-aspect: inner moral unity with God and with his fellow-man has greater significance for the man of feeling-type than ecstatic experiences or philosophical problems. *The dominance of feeling is revealed in the constant search for a harmonious relation and in the weight given to views on morality, love and justice.*

_(I feel that I have a great deal of intuitive readings on other people's emotions, not just my own. I don't find trouble expressing myself at all, so I suppose intuition is helping here? If it means being good with words, and being able to explain things through analogies and metaphores then yes, it's quite true. I'm not sure about the religious thing.....that will take more introspection. My first reaction is that yes I don't put a lot stock in ecstatic experiences, yet I do find assurance of my beliefe in my experience of thoughts which seem to come not from myself, as if interrupting my own thoughts with answers from somewhere outside of me. 'Philosophical problems' is one of the things I find most interesting to think about, and most compelling in the formation of my beliefes. I'm not really sure what I think about 'inner moral unity with my fellow man, or God' perhaps....but I'm not sure if I really understand what this means.)
_
Thought is, as a rule, not very essential in the lives of these people. They accept the thought-forms as taught to them, and make conscientious use of them; but this is not vital to them, as the judgment of feeling is. _In their thought-processes, they argue from preconceived attitudes of feeling, and frequently do not embark on any logical thinking at all_, leaving the realm of logic to others to deal with. 

_(Yes and no. I do give more weight to my feelings more often and more naturally than to 'the facts', however I think I do often take into account both feelings and facts, and try to weigh them all together to make the most logical and wise decision. How I, or others, feel about something is a factor which has a great deal of weight, but it cannot be the sole basis of most choices. I like very much for things to make sense, and think very often in "If-then" terms. I examine emotions to determine how rational or irrational they may be, and do what I can to correct the irrational ones and I give weight to the ones which I deem as making sense. Of course I am illogial at times, but I don't feel that I leave this to others all the time. Sometimes I am even the voice of logic to people, while other times I am all subjectivety and feeling.)_


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## Tiggy

Where does the above information come from? The style of writing/phrasing seems quite old. The description sounds very much like an INFP friend of mine. I would also say this was me as a child in my family context, but I changed and am now more an ENFP. I would say I'm a true Ambivert.


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## Tad Cooper

Seriously good thread, helped me figure out Fi XD I never did understand it!


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## silmarillion

This is the best description of Fi that I've read. I could relate to everything.


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## lothweneriniel

This is the first time I've really felt able to wrap my head around Fi. Since it is my dominant function it is important that I be able to.


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## KC

Holy crap!!!!



> The introvert of feeling-type finds support and guidance by shaping his own feeling-attitudes in accordance with an inner ideal.





> If you make yourself more than just a man, if you devote yourself to an ideal and if they can't stop you, you become something else entirely – a legend, Mister Wayne.


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## NaughyChimp

Isn't "the introvert of Feeling Type" different from Introverted Feeling (which I, as an ENFP, have)?


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## OrangeAppled

NaughyChimp said:


> Isn't "the introvert of Feeling Type" different from Introverted Feeling (which I, as an ENFP, have)?


Yes. The introverted feeling type is a Fi-dom (IxFP). Fi is a thought process you use, but not your dominant one, so it doesn't define you as it does an IxFP. However, the attitude of this type as described in the profile is a reflection of the Fi thought process, and the profile includes direct descriptions of the process itself, and these would applicable to you in some ways, since Fi is your auxiliary process.


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## Michael Holyoak

Blue Heart said:


> Have any INFP's had this experience, of opening up to a confidant, and then suddenly and unexpectedly breaking off contact? I recently had an INFP friend open up to me in a profound way, and reading this kind of thing makes me nervous...if any INFP's can help talk me out of my tree, or give me a dose of reality, I would appreciate it.


 I actually have experienced this. I met a girl once, and opened up to her in a way that seemed very unlike me. I can't tell you exactly the reason, but I'm sure she stepped on one of my important ideals, and I just couldn't connect with her anymore. We soon went our separate ways. I recently started talking to her again, and she is still completely baffled at why we parted, and blames herself. Makes me feel bad, because I can't explain to her what happened...


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## Michael Holyoak

Really appreciated this post. I will bookmark and come back from time to time to read it. Thanks a lot =)


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## Dreamer777

_"In spite of ever-repeated collisions with the world and with other people, they can never give up their wish to love them both. "_

So very very true, i have constant collisions with the world and other people, but i can never give up my wish to love them both! Gosh why is being an INFP like feeling so misunderstood and outcasted, but i guess in order to feel other's pains and defeats we have to go through our own pains and defeats. I guess that's all a part of what it is meant to be an INFP, one who will edify Charities and help the hurting and oppressed, we wouldn't be good at doing this if we didn't know how it is so painful to be so hurt and feel so oppressed ourself. It's like a paradox, for us to bring joy and healing and love into others lives, we have to live a life of pain from being so misunderstood and outcasted and even called things like mental, irrational, illogical, or psychotic, etc, i guess we are very important to the human race for the duty we bring to it... the joy of seeing people healed and helped by us is truly a deep joy though and helps to make up for the pain we suffer for being INFP's.

_"Owing to their inability to express themselves clearly, and to bring their ideals to reality, there may arise a feeling of impotence and inferiority. They are apt to seek the fault in themselves, and may suffer much from a sense of guilt on this account. Here, also, feelings have a tendency to extend their influence, with the result that their whole being may be plunged into depths of unhappiness; but at other times a genuine emotional contact with someone will once more fill them with a quiet and enormous delight. Now they will look at the world again with new eyes, and a feeling that is almost religious will embrace both nature and man. "_

The key here is finding a genuine emotional contact, that is what we INFP's need so bad. Just one person on our side who appreciates and understands us is enough at least for me, one person is enough, but wow, hard to find just one, very hard... i am thankful for this forum though it is helping me so much to fellowship with all you other INFP's and even to hear from the other types as well, but of course more so for me the INFP's being that i am in INFP.


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## Ozman2988

Dreamer777 said:


> Well, i think both INFJ's and INFP's feel the same way, so in the sense of NF's, probably ENFJ's and ENFP's also, all the 4 idealists types, this explanation of feeling comes out the same in both the Fi's and the Fe's. So if like you are questioning if like per say are you an INTJ rather than an INFJ? then probably yes you sound more of the idealist branch of the NF's. Is that what you're questioning? And if it is, then it would be good to hear what an INTJ says about your quote above?


I actually relate to INFJs and INFPs more than ENFJs's. Just my personal observation. I have three really amazing IRL friends who are INFJ, also I have a wonderful friend who is INFP. I feel like I relate to the INFPs because we share Fi and Ne. But I also feel a connection with INFJ's because I can ping pong my Ne craziness with their Ni-ness. Its quite a compliment really even though we don't share any of the same functions. This has lead to wonderful discussions and great conversation. The problem about ENFJ's is the lead Fe can be a bit too judgemental for us and they can seem a bit critical about things. Not as open minded as us either.


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## Rafiki

*i needa explore this thread*


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## Dangerous Meredith

This passage could have been written with me in mind (my jaw is dropping a little). I have however over time taught myself to be more tolerant of other people's values (within reason) and ideals. I have also taught myself to use logic more and to examine and test the feelings and ideas that my intuition feeds me (especially in my professional life). I don't find it easy to articulate my innermost feelings and ideas and do often perceive myself to be misunderstood by others, so I continue to work hard on my communication skills.


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## ViktorNrv

I can relate, except that my logical abilities aren't retarded.


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## Pom87

As an INFP, with introverted-feeling being my primary function, there is a whole lot of truth in this article. However, the last paragraph seemed very untrue for me:
_
Thought is, as a rule, not very essential in the lives of these people. They accept the thought-forms as taught to them, and make conscientious use of them; but this is not vital to them, as the judgment of  feeling is. In their thought-processes, they argue from preconceived attitudes of feeling, and frequently do not embark on any logical thinking at all, leaving the realm of logic to others to deal with. _

I consider, what I call, rational thought, to be one of the most important things in my life. Taking the time to think about something, before letting your feelings take over and react. I do know that there is always the struggle within me between thought and feeling. Feelings always come first, but I know, that at least to me, rational thought is very important to become a 'rational,' person. 

I cannot, at this moment, really remember how I handled this when I was younger. But I think that the use of such thought is something that I developed over time. I was conscious about the importance of thought. I have experienced that not all people who are using introverted-feeling are growing into this in a healthy manner.


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## rawrmosher

I can identify with the idea that we tend to hide our actual emotions up inside when we feel hurt/disappointed/angry  I think having a few friends who are struggling with the same thing to vent to is totally vital to deal with it in a healthy way, either that or to find a creative outlet. I actually self harmed for a period of 6-8 months because I didn't do either of those things, mainly because I didn't want to bother my friends with my bitching  eventually it turned into a depression, which convinced me I had to open up more :L


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## stillakidatheart

I somewhat skimmed but I shall remind myself to read this more carefully when I have the time. I do agree though, that I find it difficult to have real contact with people - thus, few people get to know me. Or perhaps I'm personally unable to open up easily. I'm never exactly sure whether it's just my personality or it's just something else. Unfortunately, I do idealize my relationships and that has led me to many disappointments with people. However, I think of someone has an idea of what my personal values are and accepts them as well as I do for them... I think that's a pretty ideal relationship right there.


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## Gruvian

I found Fi being very useful, as another user already started, when accompanied with intuition. In my case, it's Ni. It helps when detecting lies, and forms a strange gut feeling telling the person is lying. Many people ask me how can I detect such things, and I can't help reply with ''_I just know it_'', which leaves them frustrated. It helps with reading people's motives too.


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## iamwhoiam1

I found this read very interesting. It explains a lot of what I have experienced being an introverted feeler. Sometimes people have no idea what's really going on inside of us but then there's those times when our feelings come out and people understand us in a way that they really had no awareness of. Fe types are great for drawing the feeling out of us and vis versa. It's so true about the misunderstanding in every day life because communication of our deep feels are extremely hard to articulate in words. Thanks for the post. Infp


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## cassiepierce

Really interesting, thank you for sharing!


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## perpetuallyreticent

Ugh, man. I wish there were more insights from fellow ISFPs and their Fi. Fi itself can be so different when being described from an INFP versus an ISFP. 

Without any descriptions on ISFP's Fi, it's somewhat challenging for me to articulate something as complicated (yet so simple) as my Fi. But.. I'll try. For me, a good example of my Fi at work is knowing immediately that I'm not comfortable with my surroundings- for whatever reason. It all really falls into that 'inner value' and morals as most Introverted Feeling descriptions put it. Most of the things that come along with Fi are somehow connected to values and morals/ethics. Those things, for me at least, are so important. I know what is right for me, what I can handle and what it is specifically that's disrupting my peace. It also gives me fairly accurate insight on whether a person is being sincere or not (built in lie detector?) (also, I usually have very good instincts on how people around me feel and what the vibes they're giving off mean.)

Sometimes, though, the way Fi is described is like all it is, is what Fi-users 'believe in' or what we personally deem valuable or of worth. No, no, nooo. It's deeper than that. I feel like Fi is often strongly linked with Ni and therefore has much more authenticity and reliability surrounding it. But just Fi by itself, it's described as something so biased and subjective, and personally, I disagree that it's just that. 

I dunno, I'm just rambling, and this is all neither here nor there, but I figured I'd give some insight on my own Fi.

Edit: I'm aware this is in the NF area, not SF. but I figured since it deals with Fi, and I can't find any other Fi thread anywhere... well.


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## Ti4558

I believe introverted thinking is a very good function. I think it really is a good self-movivating function that can help Introvered thinkers to get things done that are important to them as well as keep the true to there morals and values that they find to be right. Introverted thinkers can also understand and connect with people using empathy and putting themselves in someone else's shoes to see there point of view. They can really feel others emotions by reflecting upon past expirences where they have felt that way and help others to heal. So introverted thinkers can use there function in many different ways and Fi is very useful.


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## TheNomad

Dreamer777 said:


> _"In spite of ever-repeated collisions with the world and with other people, they can never give up their wish to love them both. "_
> 
> So very very true, i have constant collisions with the world and other people, but i can never give up my wish to love them both! Gosh why is being an INFP like feeling so misunderstood and outcasted, but i guess in order to feel other's pains and defeats we have to go through our own pains and defeats. I guess that's all a part of what it is meant to be an INFP, one who will edify Charities and help the hurting and oppressed, we wouldn't be good at doing this if we didn't know how it is so painful to be so hurt and feel so oppressed ourself. It's like a paradox, for us to bring joy and healing and love into others lives, we have to live a life of pain from being so misunderstood and outcasted and even called things like mental, irrational, illogical, or psychotic, etc, i guess we are very important to the human race for the duty we bring to it... the joy of seeing people healed and helped by us is truly a deep joy though and helps to make up for the pain we suffer for being INFP's.
> 
> _"Owing to their inability to express themselves clearly, and to bring their ideals to reality, there may arise a feeling of impotence and inferiority. They are apt to seek the fault in themselves, and may suffer much from a sense of guilt on this account. Here, also, feelings have a tendency to extend their influence, with the result that their whole being may be plunged into depths of unhappiness; but at other times a genuine emotional contact with someone will once more fill them with a quiet and enormous delight. Now they will look at the world again with new eyes, and a feeling that is almost religious will embrace both nature and man. "_
> 
> The key here is finding a genuine emotional contact, that is what we INFP's need so bad. Just one person on our side who appreciates and understands us is enough at least for me, one person is enough, but wow, hard to find just one, very hard... i am thankful for this forum though it is helping me so much to fellowship with all you other INFP's and even to hear from the other types as well, but of course more so for me the INFP's being that i am in INFP.


Wow, this resonates so much. I think that I must be INFP, especially upon reflection of what I wrote recently.

The hardest thing for me is having beliefs that cut me off from most of humanity because they are seen negatively yet I cannot compromise no matter how it hurts.

Not that I live up to them, I could only judge someone else by the same framework based on an objective system outside of myself that I have also personally affirmed. An INFP can hold an ideal concerning objectivity.


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## TheNomad

> Thought is, as a rule, not very essential in the lives of these people. They accept the thought-forms as taught to them, and make conscientious use of them; butthis is not vital to them, as the judgment of feeling is. In their thought-processes, they argue from preconceived attitudes of feeling, and frequently do not embark on any logical thinking at all, leaving the realm of logic to others to deal with.


I call bullsh*t. Logic is essential to my value system. It's also telling that he says "these people". Sounds like a pejorative.

My whole value system is nearly all internally logical and it's crucial that it is logical other than faith based elements required for the foundational axioms.

"These people", F*CK YOU van der Goof.


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## Kenkao

Omg this is so me. From when i was still a kid i already struggled with what i perceived as generally moral and good against to what is happening to the world. I felt constantly disappointed but i kept it inside sometimes finding an outlet in music and writing. 

Most of the time i hate myself for being emotional. I was told before that the reason why i have "problems" because I care too much about other people's problems. And in the end I got burned because these people do not want help from me jn the first place. 

I felt tears from my eyes when i was reading this definition of introverted feeling. It cuts through me. I have the same struggles and dilemma. If not for God I don't know how I can survive in this world

And even though i am constantly disappointed with the world i cannot give it up. After a day or two I find myself hoping and loving the world again. Sometimes it's not even taking a day. I always hope but paradoxically i also get disappointed easily and wanting to give up. In fact i am not afraid of death. Sometimes i feel that i want to be with God already and leave this world because i am tired seeing all the fights, discord and hatred. Sigh. 

Will post this to my blog. Thanks for sharing.


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## Kenkao

Omg this is so me. From when i was still a kid i already struggled with what i perceived as generally moral and good against to what is happening to the world. I felt constantly disappointed but i kept it inside sometimes finding an outlet in music and writing. 

Most of the time i hate myself for being emotional. I was told before that the reason why i have "problems" because I care too much about other people's problems. And in the end I got burned because these people do not want help from me jn the first place. 

I felt tears from my eyes when i was reading this definition of introverted feeling. It cuts through me. I have the same struggles and dilemma. If not for God I don't know how I can survive in this world

And even though i am constantly disappointed with the world i cannot give it up. After a day or two I find myself hoping and loving the world again. Sometimes it's not even taking a day. I always hope but paradoxically i also get disappointed easily and wanting to give up. In fact i am not afraid of death. Sometimes i feel that i want to be with God already and leave this world because i am tired seeing all the fights, discord and hatred. Sigh. 

Will post this to my blog. Thanks for sharing.


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## Kenkao

I tested INFP by the way in all the tests that i took. In case you guys are wondering ?


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## naturally baked

Can I insert feelings into this thread, where does one go for such a thing? Asking for a friend.


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## Rafiki

Olimar!


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## Ald52OnMyTonguePleas

Blue Heart said:


> Have any INFP's had this experience, of opening up to a confidant, and then suddenly and unexpectedly breaking off contact? I recently had an INFP friend open up to me in a profound way, and reading this kind of thing makes me nervous...if any INFP's can help talk me out of my tree, or give me a dose of reality, I would appreciate it.


Had it happen with a person I considered one of my closest friends. We met through a mutual friend and all three of plus another friend of mine lived together for a year. It took me a bit to open up to him and trust him, but it was swifter than the norm for me. I believe he was an ESTP, ExTP for sure. Anyway we clicked. Finally, I had met someone in my college years that could keep up with me Ne flying in overdrive and also respected my Fi moral views and pronouncements, while being just as zany and out there as I. We both were in the arts and wanted to make our careers as artists--writing for me and art technologies for him. I noticed as he got closer to completing graduate school that he started to become extremely judgmental and condescending toward just about everyone he came across--we lived together for roughly three years in a different place so I had a front row view. He completely changed his wardrobe in about a week from relaxed casual attire to LA chic, cut his hair that was down to mid-back into a $75 style job ripped from the fashion rags. He also started to very verbally state that all he gave a shit about was making money, which was the complete opposite of his stance since I had known him, about 6 years at this point. Yeah I saw an ugly beast, but also knew that people change and I cannot nor should I interfere. Our relationship was slightly strained, but he was still decent to me and we still had good conversations. A huge part of his change I attribute to the impending reality that he would be in astronomical amounts of debt for many years because of grad school and that he had to earn. He did land a pretty decent job that paid real well for just coming out of university. And yeah that wasn't good enough for him either. He deserved more respect than he was shown there, all his colleagues were lazy and/or stupid, the job was shit, etc. But I stuck in there thinking things would revert a bit as he settled in to his new life after school.

Fast forward, two years after this I had moved to my folks home in order to travel extensively--Who the fuck pays rent for an apartment when they aren't there for more than half the year? Well, I find out through another friend that he had been saying some very harsh words about me in relation to my situation. Pretty much that I was a loser that would never amount to anything and he needed to surround himself with successful people because blah, blah, blah. 

Cut the shit heel out of my life without a thought and haven't looked back. It was a cumulative thing sure, but the decision to abort was quick as a thunderclap. 

Sorry for the rant to answer a simple question. 

I haven't consciously done it to someone I just opened up to because if I do open up you have done your diligence and passed my ridiculous vetting process. You have to either fuck me over royally or try hard for me to sever ties.


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