# 🩷 Share your self-care 🩷



## laluna (2 mo ago)

What have you learned about your self-care needs over the years? Tell us about your realizations, your adjustments, your journey to now and what plans you have for tomorrow.










A huge personal self care need for me is to have a schedule and to maintain a boundary to preserve it from others who do not have self care schedules.

I treat myself at night to sleepy time tea, this is like my heaven. Lay down in my soft blankets, showered, lotioned, got my hair mask in and then....SLEEPYTIME TEA. Oh my god...this is ritualistic bliss to me at this point.

I've discovered I am prone to emotional displays if I don't workout most days of the week. It's absolutely an act of emotional self care for me to exercise.

I don't watch movies or TV shows that focus on drama, violence and death. I don't invite that near me anymore and don't let anyone shame me for it either.

I can spend maybe a couple straight hours of playing games with family in a large room before I want my own cozy space and they all know and respect that.

It is important for me to focus on being grateful and saying thank you. Doing this keeps me kind and keeps my ego from getting crazy. This is an all day reminder.

I've only recently become a lot more comfortable in my own skin. I feel like when I was a kid and I never gave a thought to my body. Yay!


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I like the thread. Awesome. I will come back and comment.


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## 98403942 (Feb 10, 2021)

Fun fact: When on some vile day you feel like getting up and doing exercise is the last thing you want to do, your bones want to be warm and lazy, and you feel like screaming to go through a workout session, the workout session is the one thing that can help get out of it. A truly spectacular transformation happens: from lazy/deflated you go to holy-shit-Im-so-energized let's go tear a mountain out of the soil and throw it to the moon. 

Source: maniacal, demonic amounts of defiance and motivation.


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## fading_shadows (2 mo ago)

I'm drawn to discordant/sad/angry music when I'm not feeling well, and while it can be cathartic it generally makes me feel worse.

What I do first thing in the morning affects the whole rest of the day. Doing some exercise or reading a short chapter in book leads to better day than immediately jumping online.

Eating breakfast regularly makes it much easier to get up in the morning.


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## laluna (2 mo ago)

fading_shadows said:


> I'm drawn to discordant/sad/angry music when I'm not feeling well, and while it can be cathartic it generally makes me feel worse.


I don't want this to sound too meta but have you tried meditating while listening to music and possibly making a playlist where it goes from discordant to uplifting? It would allow you to relax the way that is normal for you at first, get your mind into a calm state and then slowly filter in positive vibes. It's worth a shot? 😌


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## ENFPathetic (Apr 3, 2018)

shameless said:


> I like the thread. Awesome. I will come back and comment.


Agreed.

I really like the seven pillars. Each and every single one of them is necessary to my well being. The only pillar I would add to that is sleep. Making sure I get a good night's sleep has done wonders for my mood and general well being.


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## MsMojiMoe (Apr 7, 2021)

For me,

i turn most things into learning experiences…it keeps me from hating and blaming and not to focus on other ppl so much… not to say that there arent things/ppl to blame,…I learn from the experience and figure what if anything I could/willing to do differently, what to avoid, what to look out for, what needs to change, etc.
This is key to my self care/ mental health…can’t cry about how unfair stuff is…just learn..and I can learn from other ppls mistakes as well…

I shower 1 to 2x a day…if I do in the mornings it’s just to wake me up, 5 mins, clean/rinse, cold/ Luke warm but night is when I do my real cleaning, shaving, and just relax …about once a week I take a long hot bath and soak in some bath salts and really get clean and relax, candles, cello music and warm tea or smth, then rinse in the shower afterwards. i feel so refresh and energized In a relaxing way.

i don’t really like a lot of food…I’m not heath conscious but I don’t like most food including unhealthy foods..

making sure I have my alone time is very important to me…but bc I don’t sleep very much, only about 4 hours a day…sleep btwn 5/6am to 9/10am…Im call a 3rd shifter sleep cycle and I have a mutant _ADRB1 _gene,…anyways the night time is when I get a lot of my alone time uninterrupted, not worry if someone will stop by or get a knock on the door or call into work, or texts messages etc…it’s quiet with no interruptions …which I need

very important to my mental health….I don’t overwhelm myself with activities or make schedules …like work I have to follow a schedule but after that, is what I want and how I’m feeling that will determined if I go somewhere, be lazy, go on a cleaning spree, etc…like when I start running out of clothes or my favorite sweater is dirty, I do the laundry or if I’m just in the mood…I don’t have a specific day or anything…it keeps me stress free this way..I still get what I need done, but I don’t stress by keeping set times and think I Have to do it etc…

i do take lots of risks, but this is good for me…like urban exploring, trespassing..I love traveling going to unfamiliar places, I love scuba diving, I love working /rescuing animals/wildlife, I also fight forest fires and clean up oil spills ( tho the latter is hard on my mental state, esp, when I’m done and back home and now processing all the horrors, but I think if I only watched on the sidelines that would bother my mental health more) …I love to explore..but the risks are minimized, usually.

I love music, dance and dress to feel good or to express all my emotions…

for exercise…I do a lot of swimming, i love to swim and be in water, and I do a lot of hiking…winter I go skiing, or explore abandoned places…so I don’t have a workout or anything but my hobbies keeps me fit. I still love dancing (but do it alone now, which is more fun). Oh, and I’ve giving up my car and a walk everywhere..

and a cat…must have a cat, or pet, really does just makes life better.


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## laluna (2 mo ago)

MsMojiMoe said:


> i do take lots of risks, but this is good for me…like urban exploring, trespassing..I love traveling going to unfamiliar places, I love scuba diving, I love working /rescuing animals/wildlife, I also fight forest fires and clean up oil spills ( tho the latter is hard on my mental state, esp, when I’m done and back home and now processing all the horrors, but I think if I only watched on the sidelines that would bother my mental health more) …I love to explore..but the risks are minimized, usually.
> 
> I love music, dance and dress to feel good or to express all my emotions…
> 
> ...


This sounds like fun, adopt me? Here are some reasons I am useful:


I'll protect you or try to.
I don't run or freeze when a problem arises, which has been proven in situations like a fire, with violent people and animals.
I'll find the positive in even the worst situations and explain it to you
My laugh is super loud, frequent and I wiggle a lot/will hug you and tell you you're great when I see that look in your eyes that says "I'm not sure I'm okay"
I have a habit of accidentally posing in odd positions like cats do which will make you confused and also smile (I think)

There are others but that's it for now! 😋


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## Antiparticle (Jan 8, 2013)

laluna said:


> I don't run or freeze when a problem arises, which has been proven in situations like a fire, with violent people and animals.


 I experience "deer in the headlights" for my own problems, but never freeze when others have a problem.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I will answer the pillars you put. Like I said glad you pose the question.

So to start I do not necessarily apply all of these at the same time. I had a mental breakdown a few years ago. And so I think I needed to strip myself down bare. And work on each thing as they apply. In some of these cases it has even meant starting and having some progress and then having to set aside for another pillars focus to not overwhelm myself. I am fine with that.

Knowledge and health literacy I’d say I am probably a 6/10. I am aware enough. And aware more than at least half the population on what I’d say would be basic information. But I am fine here. While I am open to more knowledge when it comes in, or seek it when it is relevant I also do fine being semi in the dark. I do not stress about it generally. I take it as it comes. I will absorb and be open to learn more. I am not pressuring with this. I think I have healthy levels of this in that way.

Mental health (Mindfulness)
I’d say 5/10
There is room for a lot of improvement. But I am also self aware enough on where I need work. I am usually introspective enough to pick up on where I need work. And willing to identify things I can improve this. Right now I would say a big achievement I made was finding some balance. I have struggled alot in recent years with extremes of high or low in over performance and work addiction, to lows feeling burnt out and unable to do as much. So being able to just leave my expectations lower right now on myself and take a less stressful job, and working on mindfulness with it I have seen huge improvement in my overall across the board wellbeing. So I am mainly working on mindfulness. My emotional health is better because I am working etc but balanced so I can focus on mindfulness like how I take in the energy of the environment around me.

Physical Activity: 7/10
Really because my focus is more on mindfulness and mental/emotional health right now my physical activity is not a high priority. Sounds weird cuz really activity, rec are usually very therapeutic for me. But I have so much confidence in myself large picture with this area it is always the easiest to set aside when I need to work on other areas. That said It will be picked back up more intense again after I find a tad bit of balance with work, and financial health after the holidays are over. Because this is the one I am most inclined to do with little push necessary I always set it aside when in crisis needing to focus on other things. And always come back to it feeling better. I live in MN though it costs money for me to do activity in winter so hence why I said after holidays it will pick up again. I.e. when I can afford gym, and roller rink admission. BUT my job is physically active, and I make it a point to do a few laps around the mall at least once a week.

Healthy eating. 6/10
I usually am better at this in conjunction with physical activity. I eat worse in cooler months. That said after a few more weeks on my mindfulness and mental health journey this was next in line to refocus and get back on track.

Risk Avoidance: 7/10
Well I am a smoker. I sometimes drink usually socially. I have got myself down to half a pack a day though. I am usually mindful not to drink in excess regularly etc. I will rank myself a 8/10 when I quit smoking. I made many life changes in this area large picture over the years. So I give myself grace here.

Hygiene/Housekeeping 6/10
I have been worse when severely depressed. But if I stepped it up a notch I know Id be thriving more. I can see it has improved though from where I was when I had my mental breakdown a few years ago. I noticed it has improved naturally in the last month with the mix of finding employment with purpose but life balance. So I only anticipate it will pick up and improve more. I have something forcing me to do the things like work, but am not working so much I am too exhausted and pulled away from self/home care.

Consumption of Goods/Services:

Eh I am a strange contradiction here. Hehe which I do not anticipate will change much ever.

I am low consumption on goods/materials: probably 9/10 health. I am grateful I do not have much need for materialism or impulse buys of things/stuff. It is not that I never get stuff. But usually it has pre need established and is not impulse. And I do not just keep buying things I have no need or use. I get rid of things that are not in use and donate. I am not into having things that are not in use. I am very practical in this way.

I am high consumption on services: 6/10
I.e. I love going to do things. Concert, theatre, restaurant, museum, bowling, mini golf etc I like entertainment. I am comfortable spending disposable income on these things. That said I avoid this consumption when I lack disposable income.

So my mental and emotional health is most important emphasis/focus right now. I consider that the most critical and important.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

So when I average all that, my average between my highs and lows is a 6 out of 10.

To be honest I am happy with that. I was much worse off a few years ago when I had my breakdown. So it is more so encouraging seeing the improvement. Also gives me a goal to be able to hopefully be at a 7/10 hopefully by next year at this time when I turn 40. So a good goal for turning 40 is to be 7/10 healthy.

Anyways as far as things that make me feel good.

The wind on my face skating. Sweating from skating. When I have my entire home picked up, and car clean at same time. A hot shower, soaking in tub with a glass of red wine. Being all freshly shaved and clean, laying against fresh linen is also satisfying to me as well.


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## Necrofantasia (Feb 26, 2014)

Singing is a surprisingly good pressure valve during stressing times.


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## Joe Black (Apr 1, 2015)

One day, I was super unfriendly and maniacal like Lex Luthor and threatened to sue a company over like $20.









Then I realized I was hungry and had a snickers bar and went back to being all nice again!


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## laluna (2 mo ago)

Joe Black said:


> One day, I was super unfriendly and maniacal like Lex Luthor and threatened to sue a company over like $20.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Is hitman ever really nice? 🤔 

I've heard that if you're really upset and you're aware of it and want it to stop you can just wiggle. Lol sounds so silly but just start wiggling your body and you'll start smiling. Maybe a good tip?


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

Hmmmm, self care never occurred to me coz it’s just normal or natural for me to do the basics like;
No smoking, alcohol, drugs, gambling, ink or excessive wear and tear on your body, like trying to run a marathon everyday without break days, over training or over working.

I lift, cardio and hike regularly, when I get mad I take it out on the heavy bag or go for a sprint.
I stay outta the direct sun when possible to avoid sun damage on my skin.

I do a daily weigh in after showering to check whether I need to cut or bulk to maintain the sweet spot of 145lbs which is about proportionate to my height so weight has never been an issue for me since I never let it get outta hand to begin with.

I also purposely tailor all my clothes so they fit exactly so if I got fatter, I literally won’t have any presentable clothes to wear lol.

I guess my worst habit is sleeping late and eating sugar coz sweet tooth.


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## ImpossibleHunt (May 30, 2020)

I just try to make small alterations to my schedule to make sure those needs are met; otherwise I'll just forget altogether. Not going to lie, sometimes I'm pretty terrible at taking care of my physical and mental needs. I'm not looking to be at the peak of health/ fitness or whatever, but it's easier to do small things instead of overcoming a huge problem later on.

Obviously, I shower/ brush my teeth every morning. That's the bare minimum anyone can do. I have a small skincare routine (I'd rather fix that issue right now then have to deal with it when I'm older), so that involves washing and moisturizing my face in order to keep my skin healthy. 
I usually make a good breakfast (eggs, bagel, oatmeal, orange juice, black coffee, etc) to start off the day right. I used to skip breakfast, but honestly it's not worth it.
I don't usually eat lunch, but I'll pack smaller snacks during school work (like fig bars, trail mix, etc).

And then after I'm done university, I usually go to the gym and do a 35-40 minute workout every day Monday-Friday.
I used to practice Muay Thai/ Kickboxing, but I found that lessons are really expensive for a university student budget. 
Besides that, I make it a point to be done work when I get home. I try to get to sleep at around 10:30-11:00pm every night, and then I wake up around 5:30-6:00am.


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## Joe Black (Apr 1, 2015)

ENTJudgement said:


> Hmmmm, self care never occurred to me coz it’s just normal or natural for me to do the basics like;
> No smoking, alcohol, drugs, gambling, ink or excessive wear and tear on your body, like trying to run a marathon everyday without break days, over training or over working.
> 
> I lift, cardio and hike regularly, when I get mad I take it out on the heavy bag or go for a sprint.
> ...


Pretty much a summary of an entire self help book on physical health! genius! 

And you're like "Serious? People need to be told this?" 😂


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

Joe Black said:


> Pretty much a summary of an entire self help book on physical health! genius!
> 
> And you're like "Serious? People need to be told this?" 😂


In 2022, you can buy common sense for the low, low price of $49.99!


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## Necrofantasia (Feb 26, 2014)

I kill zombies as therapy. Sometimes demigods. If I'm feeling cute I best a god or two.


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## Squirt (Jun 2, 2017)

ENTJudgement said:


> Hmmmm, self care never occurred to me coz it’s just normal or natural for me to do the basics like;
> No smoking, alcohol, drugs, gambling, ink or excessive wear and tear on your body, like trying to run a marathon everyday without break days, over training or over working.
> 
> I lift, cardio and hike regularly, when I get mad I take it out on the heavy bag or go for a sprint.
> ...


Sweet tooth is my Achellis heel, too. I got spoiled because I could eat 20 cookies for dinner and never gain weight or feel like shit when I was younger. Not so anymore, lol.


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

Squirt said:


> Sweet tooth is my Achellis heel, too. I got spoiled because I could eat 20 cookies for dinner and never gain weight or feel like shit when I was younger. Not so anymore, lol.


Mmmmmm cookies, leave a bag with me and it be gone by next morning :3 The only way I could stop devouring sweets was remembering how much effort went into burning 800 cals and working out how much cals each cookie was then lazy as brain is like nah, not worth, ain't gonna do another cardio session to eat 5 cookies.


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## Squirt (Jun 2, 2017)

ENTJudgement said:


> Mmmmmm cookies, leave a bag with me and it be gone by next morning :3 The only way I could stop devouring sweets was remembering how much effort went into burning 800 cals and working out how much cals each cookie was then lazy as brain is like nah, not worth, ain't gonna do another cardio session to eat 5 cookies.


Yep, entire bags, lol. 

<-- Will exercise for cookies.

The most effective strategy is to just not have any around. Can't be tempted by what isn't there.


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

Squirt said:


> Yep, entire bags, lol.
> 
> <-- Will exercise for cookies.
> 
> The most effective strategy is to just not have any around. Can't be tempted by what isn't there.


I tried that, had absolutely no snacks in the house, ended up eating a raw onion coz nothing 2 eat and no time 2 cook, started keeping snacks around after that.


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## Squirt (Jun 2, 2017)

ENTJudgement said:


> I tried that, had absolutely no snacks in the house, ended up eating a raw onion coz nothing 2 eat and no time 2 cook, started keeping snacks around after that.


There are healthy snacks out there.  

I have an auntie who is terrible, though... literally a quarter of her pantry is candy. I both hate her and love her for it.


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

Squirt said:


> There are healthy snacks out there.
> 
> I have an auntie who is terrible, though... literally a quarter of her pantry is candy. I both hate her and love her for it.


The dentist who lives near your auntie probably loves her, sending kids to the dentist since 19XX.


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## Joe Black (Apr 1, 2015)

I try work at the library so that I can't simply find snacks.
Also bought a bit from the store but after seeing my total spend I'm like - "not worth it..."
I try the "feed your body the healthy stuff needs so it's not left wanting" - good fats included. Fats seems to help satiate appetite.
Sometimes pack healthy snacks - carrots/celery with some tasty fatty dip.
(a lot harder to gorge on fat than sugar/carbs. You can eat a bag of potato chips, and not feel full.)
Sometimes I'm trying to figure out the cue/routine/reward cycle. "What's giving me this urge to snack?" "Can I try a better alternative?" "What's the payoff?" - sometimes my snacking is just "hate the work, it's difficult or boring, unclear objectives, want to chat and mingle, just bored, need fresh air, need better rest.


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