# I need help deciding, am i extro or introvert!!



## Ilovepeople (Jan 20, 2012)

I just realized a lot of you guys are very psychologically developed and mature, and can probably be a huge assest to helping your lesser able, forum brother (me) discover his full type. For a long time, O was sure that I was ESFJ but now I start to wonder if I might not be ISFJ instead. Just please tell me what you think, and if I leave out any information that you could get out of me by asking an easy question (one that you believe would make the choice more obvious) just ask away. Being an SFJ for sure, I love concrete examples alongside questions to help me understand, I'm kind of shabby at the whole abstract, theoretical stuff. =). Okay so, some of these facts may not go into the Extrovert/Introvert category, I'm not the best at knowing which goes where, so sorry! I'm not as smart as you guys! By the way, in case it matters, I'm a straight, 17 year old male.

1. I love love love compliments. But they need to fit in, I'm not a dog, I like getting complimented where it matters and is important to me, like looks, my talents (guitar, basketball), or personality traits.
2. I found out that I love being completely alone and being able to live on my schedule and nobody elses, but I do love new people when I get tired of old ones, like friends whose flaws become ever more apparent as they feel that they can show me the flaws but keep me as a friend. And I love to analyze people and get my own personal take on them.
3. I also love physical affection and have a very high sex drive (I am not sure if that matters, but I see people bring that up a lot on this website).
4. When my confidence is on, I get very very social and outgoing, and love attention from it. I talk a lot too.
5. Sometimes, I feel like everyone around me I can't stand and that they all have huge flaws that are annoying, maybe this is just being a teen or highschool life, but that is when I love being on my own.
6. I do not like highschool parties, but this may be because fear of rule breaking (drugs, alcohol) and also fear of rejection, since I don't like rejection or conflict.


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## Ilovepeople (Jan 20, 2012)

Also forgot to add, I have intense difficulties expressing how I feel and my emotions, and also have a hard time trusting others. I am also very indecisive and unsure of the reasons why I am how I am per aspect. for example, I would LIKE to think that I can't trust others easily because I have been betrayed by people before and am unable to see change since I prefer a constant, unmalleable environment as all xSFJ's would. However, even if that reason seems astute, I have a feeling of uncertainty about its logicality and probability of beingg correct, and I feel this is due to many years of being torn down and critizced for lack of logic and reasoning by my mother and twin brother. (Again, not sure if thats the case). If anyone could give me advice on that alongside with the analysis of what I am, that would be very much appreciated. okay thanks guys and girls! I look up to you!


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## Bigbone99 (Jun 23, 2013)

If you want to know whether or not you are an introvert, you must know where you get energy from. 

Extroverts gain energy from being with people and interacting with them. They lose energy from being alone. The opposite is true for introverts.

You would know that you are an introvert if you avoid noisy places, crowded areas full of people, talking to strangers is particularly 
draining for me, as well.

Also take a look at your primary function. ISFJs like ISTJs have the primary function Si (Introverted sensing). This means that you gain information from your environment, and then internalize it.

ESFJs have the primary function Fe (extroverted feeling), which means they show their emotions easily, and want to do things for people.

Hopefully this helps.


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## Ilovepeople (Jan 20, 2012)

Okay so thanks for the help, um the problem with what your giving me is that it is very textbooky like if I am extroverted I like all those things you mentioned annd if I were introverted, it would be the other things you said. I've read that before I just can't decide which REALLY gives me energy. I like be alone it feels good (do i get energy from it, idk I just know i enjoy it) but it might pnly be because I can. Run on my own schedule and get things done that other people might obstruct me from doing. Althought I like your stranger example, I actually LOVE kind strangers and learning a bit about them, like sitting next to one on a plane and learning where they are going and stuff they will do. I do show my emotions easily if u mean frustration when frustrated, anger when angry excited and jumping all over the place when good news. And i dont really love to do things for other people if its a matter of them being lazy, like hooking them up with homework, or doing a bit of there work for a event or club because they are doing something else.

but yeah I need you to tell ME what you think I am.


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## Austengirl753 (Jul 19, 2013)

Hello, 
so I am an E and my fiancee is an I. For a while I had a hard time deciding if I were an ESFJ or an ISFP. Turns out I am an ESFP. I also enjoy spending time alone and am more reserved than many extraverts I know. But here is some great advice my fiancee gave me, if you don't know what you are, you are probably an E. If you don't know if you are an E or an I, you don't spend enough time by yourself to know you are an I, therefore this means you are an E haha. I's need to spend time alone. My fiancee will be completely drained if he does not spend time alone to recharge. Also, the fact that you like to spend time alone or even need to spend a little time to yourself does not mean that you are an I. Meyers Briggs is a spectrum and I don't think all E's don't need any alone time. I think every person no matter if they are an E or an I need time with other people and time by themselves. From everything you have said, it sounds like you are an E. I agree with my ISFJ fiancee, if you don't know if you are an I or an E then you are probably an E because if you were an I, you would know. You may not be a very strong E, but sounds like you are an E non the less.


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## Austengirl753 (Jul 19, 2013)

also, I have a difficult time expressing my emotions and for a while I had trouble trusting people too. Being an E does not mean you automatically trust everyone. I do think the trust thing might be more of a maturity and growth issue than an E or I issue. Same thing with expressing emotions. Although I am an ESFP and I have heard that ESFPs are not as expressive about their emotions as ESFJs are. This could also just be based on the individual person though. I think I could be alot better about expressing my emotions but I am also partly this way because of the family I grew up in. We were not encouraged to express our emotions at all, so I just held it all in. Definitely think that family background, upbringing and the relationships and how people have interacted with us play a huge role in shaping our personalities. That is why no ESFJ or ESFP is exactly the same. The fact that you were criticized for expressing yourself could have alot to do with why you have trouble with expression now. Our family and our history do not define us though. Its good to know our story because its helped shape us into who we are, however you do not have to continue to be distrusting of people. I know that is hard, but their is healing for that as you come to see places where others were wrong and forgive them and move on. Accept the things that happened and your flaws but then also see the good in the past and in who you are. Anyway, all this to say, sounds similar to me...I think you are an E but probably a shy or more reserved E. And maybe you are a P instead of J but that could also just have to do with family upbringing or the way you grew up. Hope this helped alittle.


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## Ilovepeople (Jan 20, 2012)

That helps a lot! Thanks so much Austengirl753! Although I am nearly 100% sure I am a J, not a P.


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