# Please help me. I get so scared all the time!



## AmbrosialNightmare (Apr 4, 2012)

Firstly I definitely dont agree with the people/person whos told you that something of this sort will happen to you because you think about it too much.However (also having had these type of fears at some point of my life which caused me horrible insomniac nights ... I can totally relate to you) when one thinks about something too much,they can over-analyse small details that they havent noticed before, causing them intense anxiety,which in your case is the situation at the supermarket.What I would advice you to is jot down all of your fears on a piece of paper,then spend some time reflecting on why youre so afraid of them(this has helped me a lot  ) Then every time these thoughts come to your mind remind yourself that these are only irrational thoughts and not how things really are(It gets better with practice ).And finally I would suggest seeing a psychologist,they see lots of people in the same situation,so they can give some really useful advice 

PS:If you want to talk just shoot me a message 

PSS:Love your username btw,isn't Ameterasu the Japanese sun goddess?(or am I wrong  ? )


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## Adrift (Apr 5, 2011)

Move to a safer neighborhood; some areas do give off a bad vibe. I would avoid any neighborhoods with graffiti, litter, broken windows, bars on the windows of every home, people playing loud music, cars parked in the front yard, etc. 

Get a dog. The dog can warn you if someone's loitering around your property.


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## waitwhat... (Feb 24, 2012)

Amaterasu said:


> Thank you! I feel better these days, but some times my mind blows things out of proportion and I look at everyone around me as a potential enemy. I feel threatened by most of the men I see on the street, ridiculous, right?
> 
> I finally met with my therapist and I realized I was trying to rationalize my thought process way too much and I was acting very counterphobic; I never actually allowed myself to immerse myself in the feeling of fear.
> 
> I keep the scissors in a little draw by my bedside, so they couldn't harm me  I haven't slept with them for a week now.


Awesome! I'm so glad you are doing better, and that you have someone to work with you so you don't feel so alone in this. 
I am very glad you are getting the info you need to help you get through this difficult time. ...Just don't get discouraged when you have bad days. We all get them, and they just make us stronger people!  Much luck to you. <3


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## Vermillion (Jan 22, 2012)

chickydoda said:


> Just know that you are not alone, I have a lot of the same fears. Do you have a mental illness? I have bipolar disorder, so some of my fears come and go.
> 
> I get really freaked out by the idea of earthquakes, among other things. I was in a huge one, two years ago, that was bigger than the one in Haiti. In the moment though, I actually coped really well, and wasn't scared until later... I was just like, ok, I'm going to die now... hope I go to heaven!
> 
> I can't really give any advice, because I live in fear, but I just wanted to add that I don't think this is uncommon. The world is a scary place.


Once I used to think I had bipolar disorder, but then I realized I was just extremely emotional, that's all.

The world is a scary place, I agree. But we have to find a way to overcome our fear of it...


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## Vermillion (Jan 22, 2012)

AmbrosialNightmare said:


> Firstly I definitely dont agree with the people/person whos told you that something of this sort will happen to you because you think about it too much.However (also having had these type of fears at some point of my life which caused me horrible insomniac nights ... I can totally relate to you) when one thinks about something too much,they can over-analyse small details that they havent noticed before, causing them intense anxiety,which in your case is the situation at the supermarket.What I would advice you to is jot down all of your fears on a piece of paper,then spend some time reflecting on why youre so afraid of them(this has helped me a lot  ) Then every time these thoughts come to your mind remind yourself that these are only irrational thoughts and not how things really are(It gets better with practice ).And finally I would suggest seeing a psychologist,they see lots of people in the same situation,so they can give some really useful advice
> 
> PS:If you want to talk just shoot me a message
> 
> PSS:Love your username btw,isn't Ameterasu the Japanese sun goddess?(or am I wrong  ? )


Thank you! It's because I rationalize every possible scenario and get worried because in my mind, there is a reason it could happen.

Just a few days back, this guy in a black car would always be there in a specific area, at a specific time when I go out everyday. It was so weird, he kept staring at me and I was worried crazy.
Yesterday I saw he picked someone up to go somewhere everyday, and that made me feel calmer, though I still feel scared going out at that time...

The funny thing is, when I go to my therapist and talk about this with her, she just remains so calm throughout and I feel like this is so inconsequential and I'm wasting her time. I sound very rational when I explain it to her, so she doesn't know what I feel like when my fear actually surfaces.

Yep! Amaterasu is the Japanese sun goddess


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## Mendi the ISFJ (Jul 28, 2011)

you're an INTJ and you just said "it literally kills me"



there are several things you can do:

1) live with someone else (i used to get scared being alone at home at night especially when i watched Law and Order shows or the News) having someone around will at least distract you or give a sense of security.
2) speak to a psychiatrist about the feelings you are having, it could be OCD or anxiety from memories
3) try an anti-anxiety medication like Xanax to help calm you when you really cant stop worrying 
4) take a self- defense class, if you are prepared for an attack you can feel more in control


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## Zombie Devil Duckie (Apr 11, 2012)

Hi Amaterasu, I was going to post something but Mendi summed it up really well. #*2*, *3*, and *4*. 

I sincerely hope things get better for you!!!!

- ZDD


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## Le Beau Coeur (Jan 30, 2011)

It's good that you are trying to be cautious and that you are at least aware. I'm sorry it's causing you so much distress but I can relate on some levels...once in a while I will get that feeling too.


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## Vermillion (Jan 22, 2012)

Mendi the ISFJ said:


> you're an INTJ and you just said "it literally kills me"
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thank you! I already do 1, 2 and 4. I'll certainly think about 3.


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## AmbrosialNightmare (Apr 4, 2012)

Amaterasu said:


> Thank you! It's because I rationalize every possible scenario and get worried because in my mind, there is a reason it could happen.
> 
> Just a few days back, this guy in a black car would always be there in a specific area, at a specific time when I go out everyday. It was so weird, he kept staring at me and I was worried crazy.
> Yesterday I saw he picked someone up to go somewhere everyday, and that made me feel calmer, though I still feel scared going out at that time...
> ...


Considering youre an INTJ,youre likely to rationalize your thoughts i guess .However I think this is a good thing since youre aware that you,yourself has took a fearful thought and made it rational in your mind. As for the problem with the therapist,youre not wasting her time,its an aspect of her job to be calm in order to give you good advice(and yeah i know from experience how their calmness can get really annoying sometimes but try to imagine a therapist starting to scream and panic all of a sudden,that would just be weird and creepy which will not help you in any way ) And lastly try explaining to her about what you feel along with the thoughts that come into your mind when your anxiety starts to build up or you can write on a piece of paper about your feelings and thoughts soon after having experienced a situation that has caused you anxiety,then you can read it with her so she gets a clearer understanding of your fear.Hope this helped in a way and take care


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