# ADHD child and trouble



## INTJellectual (Oct 22, 2011)

I'm not really sure if my 6-year old son has ADHD 'cause he is not diagnosed yet by an expert, but ever since he was like 1 year old and up, he was always overly energetic, couldn't stay in one place, always have a problem with concentration, focus, and retention. And his hyperactivity and aggression has come to a point where I have had a conflict with some people I knew. He is destructive everywhere he goes. He doesn't listen to anyone (except my husband whom he fears). People from different places (from preschool teacher to previous nannies he had, up to the present teachers) told me that he is not a normal kid. And some even say that he is maybe autistic. Words like these are insulting, downright mean, and disparaging. For me, why do they judge so much 'cause he's a different kid? They're not even psychologists. 

His present teacher now told me that she has handled once an ADHD child, but she has never encountered a child like my son. She asked me to have him see a psychiatrist because he is becoming wilder and wilder especially when he started to get troublesome with his classmates, and when he even bit the arm of one of the teacher aides. And when me and my ADHD child are crossing the street, he doesn't even care about the vehicles that are passing. He just continue to run, walk, jump, or do anything he likes. He won't even listen to me! Strangers from different places are telling me and sometimes shouting at me to watch my son and hold him 'cause he might get run over by passing vehicles. I am so embarrassed and angry at my son, and to all the people who notice his hyperactivity. Sometimes I blame myself for what he has become, because I was too stressed out when I conceived him. I was young then 22 and was studying at the same time, I rushed and over-planned using Ni, and I dismissed the input of my secondary, tertiary and so on functions. I even blamed myself more when I left him at my parent-in-law's custody when he was 1 year old because I was studying and working then. Their place was not even healthy for the growing up kid because the environment is so hostile. Yes, they say and think they love my kid, but their environment is one where shouting, yelling, swearing, and throwing things are a normal everyday occurring thing. I think they also have spoiled my kid and he is now such a spoiled brat, and many people have also noticed that.

I cannot ignore the possibilities that my son may have some psychological illness, maybe it's not ADHD but something worse. I hate to say it, I cannot even imagine it. I was even in denial then and hating people who said that my son is abnormal. You know, in our culture, once people knew that someone has been in a psychiatrist, they'd treat you differently. They would see you as a mad, crazy, schizo person, and they would start to discriminate you or make fun of you. It's as if, seeing a psychiatrist is a "mark" of insanity. I guess people here are not so open with that idea unlike in Western culture. I've been to a psychiatrist once when I was depressed and needed some anti-depressant so I could sleep and concentrate. But only me and mother knew about it. I never really opened it up to anyone, not even my ESTJ husband.

I'm a 9w8 person who wants peace and quiet environment, and having such a loud-mouthed, energetic, unruly, aggressive kid is such a nightmare I wouldn't wish anyone would dream of having. He is bringing out the worst in me, I sometimes hit him out of extreme anger when all my patience is lost, then feel guilty afterwards. Sometimes I tell my son, "You will be the reason why me and your father would separate in the future." I don't want to be an abusive parent, physically or verbally, and I'm not effective when I'm being controlling. Maybe I also need some psychiatric help *sighs* Maybe my anger in my husband's father who is an ISTP 8w9 is displaced at my son, and I have this fear that I am raising a future antisocial criminal like my husband's father. My son grew his developing years mostly in that ISTP 8w9, and I see a lot of qualities and maybe bad genes inherited that's why this hate I feel is sometimes transferred to my son.

I'm really committed in my plan to have my son check up by a psychiatrist after March (We've just moved in to our new house, still need lots of things and renovations). This is now my chance to undo his development but I'm afraid I am too late. I really don't know what to do or how to handle my son especially around people. He brings so much disgrace, conflict, and embarrassment. I'm glad I have a second son who is the exact opposite of my first son's behavior. I would really appreciate any input and advice, just please be sensitive and not be judgmental, 'cause this issue is a no joke. If there are any parent who happens to have a child with ADHD (or other psychological illness), or someone who has been an ADHD child, feel free to share your opinions, stories, and advice on how to handle someone with ADHD or how your parent or guardian has handled you.

Thanks


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

@INTJellectual

I sense your concern. I was a child just like your boy. I was wild. I was uncontrollable. If you turned your head for .25 seconds, I was gone like a shot (my mom had me on a leash in the early 70's). My behavior in school was so disruptive that my desk was often isolated away from all my classmates. I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until I was 27, but looking back it was all there. 

Before you drive yourself nuts speculating and worrying, please have your son evaluated by a professional. Until you can do this, you're going to have to be extra vigilent and you're probably going to need professional help/support too. It's never too late to make a difference, but the sooner you get on this, the better. 

What you can do in the meantime is work on setting boundaries with him. He has to learn that there are lines he cannot cross. There has to be consequences, and they have to escalate as his misbehavior escalates. You have to clearly let him know what those consequences will be. You have to be consistent with him. He needs structure, balance, and routine.


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## Bear987 (May 13, 2012)

@INTJellectual

My younger brother (by 14 months) was quite a handful when he was young - to say the least. My mother, God bless her, from day one decided to help him becoming aware of his 'special ways' and how to handle himself - how to recognize situations and feelings that would bring out the 'crazy' in him. Instead of expecting him to become a 'good son' she taught him how to cope with the way his brain apparently works.

Right now my brother is 32, married with two children and coping quite well. He knows what places or situations to avoid and what to do when he starts feeling getting angry or upset. He owes it all to my mom. Without her efforts he'd be on some drug or in jail.

From what I have witnessed first hand, I can tell how hard it is to raise children. Still, from what you wrote I can't help but inform you that you seem to make things harder for yourself by picking fights with your son. How will telling him that he's breaking up your marriage help him to be anything other them himself? He knows what you expect from him, and he is probably frustrated to no end over the fact that he cannot give you what you want from him.

When I look at the situation from the viewpoint of your son, I would say he's between a rock and a hard place. The rock would be his dispositions, character and temperament which get him into trouble all the time. The hard place is you telling him off. If his mother doesn't take his side, doesn't stick up for him, doesn't show him how he can survive in this world - who will? If you can, try to get beyond the stage where your son's behavior embarrasses or angers you.


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## INTJellectual (Oct 22, 2011)

tanstaafl28 said:


> @INTJellectual
> 
> I sense your concern. I was a child just like your boy. I was wild. I was uncontrollable. If you turned your head for .25 seconds, I was gone like a shot (my mom had me on a leash in the early 70's). My behavior in school was so disruptive that my desk was often isolated away from all my classmates. I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until I was 27, but looking back it was all there.
> 
> ...


Yeah I think I'm gonna need some professional help too especially in my anger management issue. I try my hardest tp be patient and kind, but he always provoke my anger, and then I blow up.

Setting boundaries is also one of my biggest problem with him. He won't listen. Everytime he goes, he always think the world belongs to him like he can enter some private person's house, or wake the sleeping stranger man. He doesn't know discipline. But there are select people he's afraid of like I said my husband. But the mess he brings is not funny at all. It's embarrassing on my part.


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## INTJellectual (Oct 22, 2011)

Bear987 said:


> @_INTJellectual_
> 
> My younger brother (by 14 months) was quite a handful when he was young - to say the least. My mother, God bless her, from day one decided to help him becoming aware of his 'special ways' and how to handle himself - how to recognize situations and feelings that would bring out the 'crazy' in him. Instead of expecting him to become a 'good son' she taught him how to cope with the way his brain apparently works.
> 
> ...


Him being in jail in the future, is what I'm afraid of. Then, by imagining it, hate is coming. Hate that originated first from his grandpa then passing it on, on him. It's hard to explain. But I see a lot of bad character, bad genes from my son inherited from his grandfather who I loathe. I'm not really sure now if I have the power to raise him as a good child. If ever he grows up the way I don't want him to be, I think there's a possibility that I might disown him. I hope it doesn't come to that point.

There were times when I took his side and/or sticked up for him, but it did result in a major conflict; me against my family, and me against my husband's family. He always brings trouble and chaos. I really do think there must be something wrong with him, and he's so different from any child. But my hope is big for us that things would change and we'll have better mother-son relationship. And of course, consultation, medication and therapy would be the first step.


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## Bear987 (May 13, 2012)

INTJellectual said:


> Him being in jail in the future, is what I'm afraid of. Then, by imagining it, hate is coming. Hate that originated first from his grandpa then passing it on, on him. It's hard to explain. But I see a lot of bad character, bad genes from my son inherited from his grandfather who I loathe. I'm not really sure now if I have the power to raise him as a good child. If ever he grows up the way I don't want him to be, I think there's a possibility that I might disown him. I hope it doesn't come to that point.
> 
> There were times when I took his side and/or sticked up for him, but it did result in a major conflict; me against my family, and me against my husband's family. He always brings trouble and chaos. I really do think there must be something wrong with him, and he's so different from any child. But my hope is big for us that things would change and we'll have better mother-son relationship. And of course, consultation, medication and therapy would be the first step.


In my experience, a mother usually knows best what's up with her children. If your gut tells you that there's something off, go with it. For your son's sake, I am glad you haven't given up on him just yet and I applaud you for it. I wish you both well. I hope you'll find some answers at the doctor's.


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## Bear987 (May 13, 2012)

INTJellectual said:


> Him being in jail in the future, is what I'm afraid of. Then, by imagining it, hate is coming. Hate that originated first from his grandpa then passing it on, on him. It's hard to explain. But I see a lot of bad character, bad genes from my son inherited from his grandfather who I loathe.


I forgot to mention this earlier. You totally make sense to me when you say that with certain genes, hate gets passed on from grandparents to children. Parents sometimes get into trouble with their children, because they're not aware of the resemblance between their children and their own parents or grandparents. I, therefore, would say that it is a good thing that you are aware of where certain feelings stem from.

I know this thread is not about me, but I dislike my father. Suppose I have children and suppose one of them turns out to be just like my dad again - or close enough: would I be able to love him? I couldn't say at this point.


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## INTJellectual (Oct 22, 2011)

Bear987 said:


> In my experience, a mother usually knows best what's up with her children. If your gut tells you that there's something off, go with it. For your son's sake, I am glad you haven't given up on him just yet and I applaud you for it. I wish you both well. I hope you'll find some answers at the doctor's.


Thanks. That is the only light and hope I could think of aside from my husband's support.



Bear987 said:


> I forgot to mention this earlier. You totally make sense to me when you say that with certain genes, hate gets passed on from grandparents to children. Parents sometimes get into trouble with their children, because they're not aware of the resemblance between their children and their own parents or grandparents. I, therefore, would say that it is a good thing that you are aware of where certain feelings stem from.
> 
> I know this thread is not about me, but I dislike my father. Suppose I have children and suppose one of them turns out to be just like my dad again - or close enough: would I be able to love him? I couldn't say at this point.


Transference, displacement of anger, or whatever you call it, is unfair for the one receiving the displaced anger. I feel guilty often times when I feel that to my son. I know my anger is irrational, but it just pops out of the blue, and often times, I unconsciously do it. Maybe it's just my fear and hate being combined. Hate, because I never like the whole being of his grandfather, and fear, because I'm afraid, one day he'll be like him, and that I'd be the one having problem bailing him out of jail.

By the way, why do you dislike your father? Which part of him do you dislike?


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## Bear987 (May 13, 2012)

INTJellectual said:


> By the way, why do you dislike your father? Which part of him do you dislike?


My dad (still) is a narcissist. He had a rotten childhood himself and apparently never recovered from it. I don't blame him for that, but I do hold him responsible for the way he treated me and my siblings. Everything was always about him. He got angry easily and quite often at basically anything. He'd yell and scream, push and hit us. He criticized and ridiculed our every move and our every thought. There was next to no freedom; he interfered, manipulated and controlled as much as he could. It was terrible, he was terrible.

Just recently, my parents split up. They haven't officially divorced each other (yet), but they are living apart. My mom recently told us that my dad has been abusive to her ever since she was 21 (they got married when she was 19). It also turned out that my dad had been unfaithful somewhere in the first decade of their marriage. I could go on, but you get the picture. My dad is a fairly regular narcissist and misogynist - like I said earlier.


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## Peter (Feb 27, 2010)

INTJellectual said:


> I'm not really sure if my 6-year old son has ADHD 'cause he is not diagnosed yet by an expert, but ever since he was like 1 year old and up, he was always overly energetic, couldn't stay in one place, always have a problem with concentration, focus, and retention. And his hyperactivity and aggression has come to a point where I have had a conflict with some people I knew. He is destructive everywhere he goes. He doesn't listen to anyone (except my husband whom he fears). People from different places (from preschool teacher to previous nannies he had, up to the present teachers) told me that he is not a normal kid. And some even say that he is maybe autistic. Words like these are insulting, downright mean, and disparaging. For me, why do they judge so much 'cause he's a different kid? They're not even psychologists.
> 
> His present teacher now told me that she has handled once an ADHD child, but she has never encountered a child like my son. She asked me to have him see a psychiatrist because he is becoming wilder and wilder especially when he started to get troublesome with his classmates, and when he even bit the arm of one of the teacher aides. And when me and my ADHD child are crossing the street, he doesn't even care about the vehicles that are passing. He just continue to run, walk, jump, or do anything he likes. He won't even listen to me! Strangers from different places are telling me and sometimes shouting at me to watch my son and hold him 'cause he might get run over by passing vehicles. I am so embarrassed and angry at my son, and to all the people who notice his hyperactivity. Sometimes I blame myself for what he has become, because I was too stressed out when I conceived him. I was young then 22 and was studying at the same time, I rushed and over-planned using Ni, and I dismissed the input of my secondary, tertiary and so on functions. I even blamed myself more when I left him at my parent-in-law's custody when he was 1 year old because I was studying and working then. Their place was not even healthy for the growing up kid because the environment is so hostile. Yes, they say and think they love my kid, but their environment is one where shouting, yelling, swearing, and throwing things are a normal everyday occurring thing. I think they also have spoiled my kid and he is now such a spoiled brat, and many people have also noticed that.
> 
> ...



No doubt that he's difficult, but it seems to me that a lot can be gained by you learning how to deal with him. Extreme ( and I mean to the minute) organization and planning can help. Once his life is predictable he will find the time to calm down. I think he's just having difficulties with understanding what's expected from him. He knows the rules his father sets and when he says something, there is no doubt, but it seems that with you he thinks he can get away with anything as long as he insists (in an obviously bad manner).

I'm not saying you´re a bad parent. I'm just saying the situation can improve a lot if you are able to bring extreme structure and predictability into his life.

I'm no doctor so don't take my word for it. Talk with some experts in dealing with difficult children. There may be nothing wrong with him, other than that he has difficulties dealing with stressful situations. And if he is someone that experiences stress by lack of organization in his life, then that's the way to go. It may be something that's rather difficult for you so don't turn everything around in one time. Start with simple things like a fixed time for meals, a fixed time for going to bed, a fixed time for watching tv (with programs that he likes of course.), a fixed play time (this should be a very happy time for him and it should involve you and when possible his father as well.), etc. etc. etc.

There's a lot of room for improvement. And one important thing, tell him everything that's going to happen up front. That is extremely helpful. Nothing more stressful than not knowing what's going to happen next.


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## All in Twilight (Oct 12, 2012)

Hi and thank you for your story.

He might be autistic indeed. Please don't take that out of the equation. It was my first thought as well. There are many forms of autism and autism is not something you should necessarily perceive as something negative. There are many positive things to be found in autistic children but at a young age, they have far more difficulties expressing their emotions and even more so if they grow up under difficult circumstances.
Currently every child is being diagnosed with ADHD and mostly they are wrong. So if you do not know anything, then don't think anything of it. Sometimes kids are diagnosed with ADHD, but meanwhile these kids sit at home, play video games and can't vent out their energy. Especially in the Philippines. It's hot there so playing outside is mostly not an option.
Pay attention to his nutrition. Especially magnesium since it's good for the nerve system. The many Jollibees and Macdonalds and sweet stores are the reasons why also a lot of kids are too fat there and eat too many bad sugars. 
Don't leave him with just the nanny or the maids. They lack the skills to deal with him. 

What you really should not do impose a feeling of emotional guilt on him. He is probably not aware of the concept what is right and what is wrong. So telling him that he is the reason why you and your husband are going to divorce is devastating for a kid now but more over at a later stage in his life. I disapprove of this. Also the beating: NO!! Really don't. I am sure it must be very hard for you but this can be traumatizing for him. I grew up in an environment of violence and you can get the kid away from the violence but you never get the violence out of the kid. Every time my when my ex, a hot-headed psychopathic enfj who was very good at making me feel ugly and unwanted, (Sorry about that, it is still bothering me I see ) shouted at me, it took it very personal, I felt completely blown away and it hurt like hell way more than it should be perhaps. I can't deal well with aggression up until now. Especially since I am NOT capable of hurting the people I love unless it is out of self preservation. So I mostly feel pretty helpless when I am being aggressively attacked. And a kid is at the complete surrender of his parents, keep that in mind.
What you should do instead is make him aware of the concept of right and wrong. So reward him only when he does something good and punish him by taking away something he likes , his basketball or whatever and tell him why he is wrong. Kids are not as dumb as you might think. And be consequent no matter how hard it is and keep it simple for now.

What you can do RIGHT NOW is to go to a bookstore and buy a few books about this. I have lived in the Philippines (Metro Manila) and I know the culture and the people. And people can be very judgmental and simplistic. Keeping up appearances is very important there. I know. But every family there has their problems. Rich or poor. 
(I worked in the Philippines and was engaged to the daughter of a "famous" person there and oh, Toni Gonzaga is not as nice as she is on the tv  )

I am no doctor but one of my closest friends majored in this field so if you have a particular question, I can always ask her what to do. Feel free to drop me a message.

Edit: shit, I didn't realize it was you! We are friends already even. LOL! I am too lazy to edit my entire post. But you're welcome anytime anyway to chat or whatever. *feels stupid*


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

INTJellectual said:


> Yeah I think I'm gonna need some professional help too especially in my anger management issue. I try my hardest tp be patient and kind, but he always provoke my anger, and then I blow up.
> 
> Setting boundaries is also one of my biggest problem with him. He won't listen. Everytime he goes, he always think the world belongs to him like he can enter some private person's house, or wake the sleeping stranger man. He doesn't know discipline. But there are select people he's afraid of like I said my husband. But the mess he brings is not funny at all. It's embarrassing on my part.


Like I said, my mom had me on a leash (back in the early 1970's). She got dirty looks and she said: 
"If I let him go, are you going to chase him?" My poor sister could not get away with _anything_ because I pretty much "trained" my parents. Now I am going to admit, I have never been a parent. What I know is what worked with me as a kid (I also have a degree in education). My father walked out on us when I was 8, and I went wild. My stepfather came in and set me straight about a great many things. For some things, it was too late for him to correct, my folks did the best they could with me. You still have a chance to correct your son's behavior, but you have to get a handle on him fast. What he needs is a combined approach of treatment, therapy, consistency, and solid boundaries. This is no easy task. You are going to need support from his father, his school, family, and friends. 

You have to be firm on boundaries. His toys, play time, TV time, computer time, all of these things are *privileges.* When he misbehaves, he has not earned these privileges, therefore he does not get to enjoy them. This is how you get his attention. You keep it by instituting some sort of reward system that reinforces appropriate behavior, and extinguishes inappropriate behavior. What he needs most of all from you is _*consistancy*_ and a _*routine*_. He does not get to do what he wants whenever he wants to. There are things he must do as a part of the family. 

One way to do this is post a schedule on the fridge, or somewhere he can see it. He needs to complete some chores around the home; simple stuff like making his bed, putting his laundry in the hamper, schoolwork, helping set the table for dinner, etc. Every day he gets his chores and behaves appropriately, he gets so many gold stars for the day. Every time he misbehaves, or does not complete his chores, he loses some. You can give him a small treat for good days, and not on the bad days, but at the end of the week, if he accumulates enough gold stars, you can give him some sort of "special treat."

The point is, you have to get his attention and MAKE him listen. He has to realize that there are *consequences *to his actions, and those consequences will escalate according to the severity of his behavior. If he continues to misbehave, you have to explain what he did that was inappropriate, why it was inappropriate, and let him know it's not going to be tolerated. You have to _stick to your guns._ Be consistent, firm, fair, and loving, with him. If you are not consistent, he's going to run all over you.

I should also like to point out that ADHD often runs in families. If your son has it, chances are that you, hs father, or someone else in yours or his father's family has it. You might want to look into this.


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## INTJellectual (Oct 22, 2011)

Bear987 said:


> My dad (still) is a narcissist. He had a rotten childhood himself and apparently never recovered from it. I don't blame him for that, but I do hold him responsible for the way he treated me and my siblings. Everything was always about him. He got angry easily and quite often at basically anything. He'd yell and scream, push and hit us. He criticized and ridiculed our every move and our every thought. There was next to no freedom; he interfered, manipulated and controlled as much as he could. It was terrible, he was terrible.
> 
> Just recently, my parents split up. They haven't officially divorced each other (yet), but they are living apart. My mom recently told us that my dad has been abusive to her ever since she was 21 (they got married when she was 19). It also turned out that my dad had been unfaithful somewhere in the first decade of their marriage. I could go on, but you get the picture. My dad is a fairly regular narcissist and misogynist - like I said earlier.


He sounds like an unhealthy Type 8 or counterphobic 6 to me. Your description of your dad sounds exactly like the grandfather of my kid who I loathe to death. He has also been unfaithful to my mother-in-law. I guess it's the Type 8's vice which is Lust. I don't think I could get along with people like that. I hate their every inch, lol.


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## INTJellectual (Oct 22, 2011)

Peter said:


> No doubt that he's difficult, but it seems to me that a lot can be gained by you learning how to deal with him. Extreme ( and I mean to the minute) organization and planning can help. Once his life is predictable he will find the time to calm down. I think he's just having difficulties with understanding what's expected from him. He knows the rules his father sets and when he says something, there is no doubt, but it seems that with you he thinks he can get away with anything as long as he insists (in an obviously bad manner).
> 
> I'm not saying you´re a bad parent. I'm just saying the situation can improve a lot if you are able to bring extreme structure and predictability into his life.
> 
> ...


I am more lenient than my husband. But whenever he insists what he likes we would always fight, and I get aggressive. He is a noisy kid, a spoiled kid, and it is hard to undo the things he learned while I am away.

Structure, planning? Maybe it would help. But he is not an ordinary kid whom you could control and tame. He gets violent everytime his likes are not given.

With the playtime, this thing is what we always fight about. He wants to play _all the time_. I said, there is time for everything, if it's mealtime, it's mealtime, not playtime combined with mealtime. Thanks for your advice, I think it could also be applied.


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## Bear987 (May 13, 2012)

INTJellectual said:


> I hate their every inch, lol.


:happy: Me too and since my dad is 6 feet and 3 inches tall, there's a lot to hate!


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## INTJellectual (Oct 22, 2011)

Usernamefoundyeyme said:


> Hi and thank you for your story.
> 
> He might be autistic indeed. Please don't take that out of the equation. It was my first thought as well. There are many forms of autism and autism is not something you should necessarily perceive as something negative. There are many positive things to be found in autistic children but at a young age, they have far more difficulties expressing their emotions and even more so if they grow up under difficult circumstances.
> Currently every child is being diagnosed with ADHD and mostly they are wrong. So if you do not know anything, then don't think anything of it. Sometimes kids are diagnosed with ADHD, but meanwhile these kids sit at home, play video games and can't vent out their energy. Especially in the Philippines. It's hot there so playing outside is mostly not an option.
> ...


He looks normal. But if he gets violent and unable to control, that is when someone might think he's not a normal kid. I agree with you on the sugar. I guess, it contributes to a child's hyperactivity. I have noticed that myself especially after he eats chocolates or drink his milk. (He was just fully breastfed for 2 weeks, the started using formula from then on). And I can see how sugar level can affect a child's behavior. My other kid was fully breastfed and you can see an apparent difference in behavior.

I guilt-trip and beat only when my anger gets out of control. I have a long patience, but if it is tested, the anger rolls like a snowball, getting big as the stress rises. But afterwards, I return to my calm state, then feel guilty afterwards. If we both cooled down, my son would ask "Mother, do you love me?" If I was angry yet, I wouldn't reply then change the topic. But if I am completely cooled down, I would answer, "Yes of course!" I guess beating, shouting, controlling, doesn't work on him. I'm a 9w8 Peacemaker, so manipulating, controlling, and setting boundaries is not natural for me, and if I do it, it's not that effective as it should be. And the reward system is useful. I guess that's why my husband is more effective in disciplining him. I should apply this more to my son, for him to know what is right and what is wrong. And shouting, controlling, spanking, and hitting, just worsen the situation than being helpful.

The books yes! I have always thought of buying some books like parenting. I like more specifically the MBTI or Enneagram parenting that would be suitable for our personality types and the personality type of our children. I'm guessing my child is ISTx 8, a personality that clashes with my personality. I have yet to find a more suitable approach to handling my wild kid.

By the way, you're right about keeping up the appearance and being judgmental. Filipinos are so externally focused. And many are social climbers. You could see that in the way they talk. The lower middle class and the middle class would use Taglish or Tagalog-English combination in speaking. It's annoying as hell, whenever I heard one. It's even more annoying if I heard some obvious grammar mistake if they speak in full English. The only people that speak English (with superb and fantastic grammar though different accent) are the upper-class. It's their way of life, and I'm guessing they're also fluent in some other foreign languages. Wait... you were engaged to a famous person? Who is she? Is she Toni Gonzaga or I'm just wrong? I guess many celebrities are not as good as they project on t.v. Marian Rivera is obviously a "_maldita"_ one.

Yes we're friends already, have you forgotten our talks? Sorry I didn't reply right away. I did reply but it wasn't sent when my computer crashed. And thank you for your kind words, advice, and suggestions.


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## INTJellectual (Oct 22, 2011)

tanstaafl28 said:


> Like I said, my mom had me on a leash (back in the early 1970's). She got dirty looks and she said:
> "If I let him go, are you going to chase him?" My poor sister could not get away with _anything_ because I pretty much "trained" my parents. Now I am going to admit, I have never been a parent. What I know is what worked with me as a kid (I also have a degree in education). My father walked out on us when I was 8, and I went wild. My stepfather came in and set me straight about a great many things. For some things, it was too late for him to correct, my folks did the best they could with me. You still have a chance to correct your son's behavior, but you have to get a handle on him fast. What he needs is a combined approach of treatment, therapy, consistency, and solid boundaries. This is no easy task. You are going to need support from his father, his school, family, and friends.
> 
> You have to be firm on boundaries. His toys, play time, TV time, computer time, all of these things are *privileges.* When he misbehaves, he has not earned these privileges, therefore he does not get to enjoy them. This is how you get his attention. You keep it by instituting some sort of reward system that reinforces appropriate behavior, and extinguishes inappropriate behavior. What he needs most of all from you is _*consistancy*_ and a _*routine*_. He does not get to do what he wants whenever he wants to. There are things he must do as a part of the family.
> ...


His grandfather was very strict, and would shout at him at the slightest mistake, making him immune to discipline and listening to everyone (his father is an exception). He gets "more" wild when someone is aggressively attacking him, by words, or by deeds. I think the reward system, reinforcement and motivation would work for him, but I needed to more consistent with establishing solid boundaries.

With helping about housework, I guess I don't have much of a problem. I see him as energetic and industrious, and not lazy unlike my younger son. He would initiate the helping if he feels like doing it. Then I appreciate him with kind words and compliment him with words that would boost his ego.

My only problem is, when I'm calm and telling him what he's doing is wrong, he would not listen and continue doing whatever he's doing. If I could discipline him in a soft tone, the better. But sometimes it gets the best of me, when he's not listening and deliberately disobeying me. And then I become angry and shouting, then the anger cycle goes on, then he becomes wilder and resistant to discipline by being more aggressive. I still have yet to find, the proper way, my type could naturally do to bring out the best in his personality type.

I think his father and grandfather were also hyperactive when they were a kid. But my son's father never bite, spit, or punch anybody like my child does to other children. My younger son would always get hurt by my hyperactive and violent kid. As a result I become more angry and hating at him. There must be something wrong in his development and seeing a child development specialist would help.


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## All in Twilight (Oct 12, 2012)

INTJellectual said:


> His grandfather was very strict, and would shout at him at the slightest mistake, making him immune to discipline and listening to everyone (his father is an exception). He gets "more" wild when someone is aggressively attacking him, by words, or by deeds. I think the reward system, reinforcement and motivation would work for him, but I needed to more consistent with establishing solid boundaries.
> 
> With helping about housework, I guess I don't have much of a problem. I see him as energetic and industrious, and not lazy unlike my younger son. He would initiate the helping if he feels like doing it. Then I appreciate him with kind words and compliment him with words that would boost his ego.
> 
> ...


No of course I haven't forgotten about our conversations!  But I did forgot your name though  I really suck with names, like really really big time!! Last week for example I was talking with a friend and we ended up talking about the last woman I dated. I simply couldn't remember her name while I was very much in love with her and being in love is something that rarely happens to me. So I had to describe her first and then he said: Ah, you mean X! And then I was like: yes! Shit, how could I forget!? So please do not ever take it personal if I forget your name.

If I were you, I would first figure out what disorder he might have. The next thing I would do is buy a book about parenting a child with that particular disorder. And THEN I would buy a book about MBTI and parenting. I think MBTI is not very important at the moment, I think your priority should be focused on the disorder. Besides, it's hard to type a child with a potential disorder anyway. 

Question: Is your zodiac sign Libra?

The lower middle class and middle class are actually just annoying. I think it is because they are pretending to be something they are not: being rich for example. 
I can't tell who I dated there. I really can't. When I met her, I had no idea who she was and where she came from. I just liked her.


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## INTJellectual (Oct 22, 2011)

Usernamefoundyeyme said:


> No of course I haven't forgotten about our conversations!  But I did forgot your name though  I really suck with names, like really really big time!! Last week for example I was talking with a friend and we ended up talking about the last woman I dated. I simply couldn't remember her name while I was very much in love with her and being in love is something that rarely happens to me. So I had to describe her first and then he said: Ah, you mean X! And then I was like: yes! Shit, how could I forget!? So please do not ever take it personal if I forget your name. If I were you, I would first figure out what disorder he might have. The next thing I would do is buy a book about parenting a child with that particular disorder. And THEN I would buy a book about MBTI and parenting. I think MBTI is not very important at the moment, I think your priority should be focused on the disorder. Besides, it's hard to type a child with a potential disorder anyway. Question: Is your zodiac sign Libra? The lower middle class and middle class are actually just annoying. I think it is because they are pretending to be something they are not: being rich for example. I can't tell who I dated there. I really can't. When I met her, I had no idea who she was and where she came from. I just liked her.


 You really didn't pay attention did you? Because I never really mentioned my real name  Don't worry, it's not a big deal for me if someone doesn't remember a name. Most ENTPs share that same problem, and the inferior introverted sensation (Si)-(a function that remembers detail, and past sensory perception) is to be blamed. So I understand  Agreed with what you suggested in the second paragraph. No I'm not Libra I'm a Gemini why? Yes. Annoying as hell and are condescending to the lower class. And those condescending lower middle and middle class don't look rich either though they try so hard. My kid's second cousin is being taught by her great grandma how to speak English in normal everyday conversation. I almost puke at how being unnatural they teach to that kid. I only speak English when there is no other choice. I am not against teaching them English because it would be very helpful in the future. But their intent is different, and it's obvious that they want to look "sosyal" (If you know what I mean) and above from other people.


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## INTJellectual (Oct 22, 2011)

EDIT


Usernamefoundyeyme said:


> No of course I haven't forgotten about our conversations!  But I did forgot your name though  I really suck with names, like really really big time!! Last week for example I was talking with a friend and we ended up talking about the last woman I dated. I simply couldn't remember her name while I was very much in love with her and being in love is something that rarely happens to me. So I had to describe her first and then he said: Ah, you mean X! And then I was like: yes! Shit, how could I forget!? So please do not ever take it personal if I forget your name. If I were you, I would first figure out what disorder he might have. The next thing I would do is buy a book about parenting a child with that particular disorder. And THEN I would buy a book about MBTI and parenting. I think MBTI is not very important at the moment, I think your priority should be focused on the disorder. Besides, it's hard to type a child with a potential disorder anyway. Question: Is your zodiac sign Libra? The lower middle class and middle class are actually just annoying. I think it is because they are pretending to be something they are not: being rich for example. I can't tell who I dated there. I really can't. When I met her, I had no idea who she was and where she came from. I just liked her.


 You really didn't pay attention did you? Because I never really mentioned my real name  Don't worry, it's not a big deal for me if someone doesn't remember a name. Most ENTPs share that same problem, and the inferior introverted sensation (Si)-(a function that remembers detail, and past sensory perception) is to be blamed. So I understand  Agreed with what you suggested in the second paragraph. No I'm not Libra I'm a Gemini why? Yes. Annoying as hell and are condescending to the lower class. And those condescending lower middle and middle class don't look rich either though they try so hard. The upper middle and middle class are more refined, respectable, and dignified in their actions, than the social climbers. My kid's second cousin is being taught by her great grandma how to speak English in normal everyday conversation. I almost puke at how being unnatural they teach to that kid. I only speak English when there is no other choice. I am not against teaching them English because it would be very helpful in the future. But their intent is different, and it's obvious that they want to look "sosyal" (If you know what I mean) and above from other people. I swish you could tell me who that girl was. You can PM me if you want ;-)


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## Glenda Gnome Starr (May 12, 2011)

to the OP: One other thing that you might want to look into with the out of control kid is food allergies. You'll need to find a doctor who is a specialist in food allergies. There are food allergies (and I'm not sure which ones) that will cause behavior issues. 
Another issue could be sensory processing disorder. If a child is overstimulated or understimulated, he will probably act out because he doesn't have the verbal skills to describe what is bothering him. The person to speak to about that would be an occupational therapist.
I have first hand knowledge of sensory processing disorder because I have it and was diagnosed with it at age 40. When I was a kid, I was called "emotionally disturbed" and "psychotic." I was not psychotic. But having a late diagnosis, as I did, can cause issues with self esteem. The earlier the diagnosis, the better because there are therapies that can help and they are more helpful for a young child than for an adult.
Good luck!


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## heaveninawildflower (Feb 5, 2012)

My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD when she was 5 years old. She was very hyperactive, aggressive, not afraid of dangers, and she had speech difficulties. I took my daughter to a child psychiatrist when she was five years old, and she was diagnosed with ADHD. The child psychiatrist needed more information from the school psychologist for a possible diagnoses of Pervasive Development Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (PDD/NOS). It was complicated because I had my daughter in a school program for children with developmental delays and the school psychologist went against what the child psychiatrist concluded and he determined that my daughter was only speech delayed. That resulted in my daughter losing certain services that she needed in school, and not getting a correct diagnoses.

I ended up moving into another school district and I had another school psychologist evaluate my daughter and the results they came up with went against the ADHD diagnoses. This school psychologist suspected a Central Auditory Processing Disorder and Autism. We were then sent to an audiologist and a neurologist. The neurologist concluded that my daughter had ADHD and not Autism. The audiologist felt it was a Central Auditory Processing Disorder. 

Years later, another school psychologist gets asked to do another evaluation and he felt it was not ADHD and he suspected Autism. This time I asked to have an autism consultant brought in from the clinic where my daughter was seen when she was five years old, to help with the evaluations. It was finally concluded that my daughter had Autism and not ADHD. My daughter was 13 years old when they finally came to this conclusion. 

When I suspected my daughter had some difficulties I learned all I could to help her at home and at school. I researched developmental disabilities and ADHD so that I could learn how to handle the difficulties at home and at school. After a year of researching and learning all I could, I became my child's educational advocate and I fought for modifications and accommodations that she needed at school. And I had to battle the school district often for these services. One time I filed a formal complaint against a school for not providing the services that my child needed...and I won that fight. 

My daughter did improve over the years. But it took a lot of learning and researching, fighting the school system for years, and not giving in or giving up.


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## INTJellectual (Oct 22, 2011)

@walking tourist

I don't think my son has some food allergies but I guess the sugar contributes to his hyperactivity.

I haven't heard about sensory processing disorder before. How did it affect you as a growing child? My kid has some delayed learning ability. He has finished two years in preschool, but still, he doesn't know how to read or write. Maybe because he doesn't focus when someone teaches. And also poor retention. He could remember what you taught him for just 1 minute, then after that, he forgets again. But now, because I have more time with him than before, he has learned how to write, but the reading is just on progress. But I must admit, his self-esteem is somewhat affected by I try my best to motivate him into studying.

The problem with people with no understanding and ignorant of the different illnesses, what they perceive as threatening and bad, they could easily judge and label such people as "emotionally disturbed", "psychotic", "abnormal" etc. etc. It can be annoying as hell. No one really knows what a child's sickness is unless diagnosed by a physician or expert.


@_snowangel_

Pervasive Development Disorder. Not heard of that one too. I guess I'll be doing some more research about that illness and the Sensory processing Disorder as well as Central Auditory Processing Disorder.

Sorry to hear that story about your child and her school. They must not deny her the privileges and services because your child would need it the most, and they should give her sensitive understanding. You've gone through a lot of people and they have different diagnoses. I guess it was more complicated on your part and you are confused who to obey and who to listen to. But, you did right about finding different trained people about psychiatry so that, you'd find which illness is the real illness of your daughter, to have her find the right solution and medication.

Fighting the school system or the external environment is one of the most hardest part to deal with I guess especially if you have a child with special needs. That's one of my future worries. And also dealing with conflicts my child might enter. By the way, what kind of school did you enroll your kid? Is it as private, public, special school for children with special needs? The preschool teacher said that it would be better for my kid to enroll him in a private school where there are only few students, public school is crowded. I'm also thinking about another alternative: homeschooling. But it is not popular yet in our country. I'm glad that you won that fight over that school. It's not an easy stress to deal with.


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## heaveninawildflower (Feb 5, 2012)

@_INTJellectual_

My daughter started in a public school and then I put her into a charter school when she was 11 years old. Charter schools are public schools but they are a lot smaller and I thought the smaller school would be better for her. That charter school was the school I ended up filing a complaint against.

I never had my daughter in a private school so I don't know if that would have been a better school for her. It really comes down to the individual needs and how to modify the education program, and advocate for services, to ensure that your child gets what they need to be successful in school. I became an educational advocate to help my daughter and I was able to advocate for other families who needed help obtaining services. This is a good article on advocating for your child: http://wrightslaw.com/advoc/articles/advocacy.intro.htm

And here is a link to some examples of accommodations and modifications.
List of Accommodations & Modifications for your child with LD or ADHD


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## INTJellectual (Oct 22, 2011)

Thank you @snowangel

I might be able to use those techniques, and strategies once my son transfers to a new school (public school). (He's in private school now, and the teachers understand how to deal with my kid, and some of the methods like dictated directions and answers are used). However, I should be more guarded when I transfer him because public school is stricter in enforcing rules, and the teachers, I don't know, they have this vibe of being "more" strict and less child-friendly. I still have this doubt if I could be a good advocate, but I will help my son as much as I could, just to have him the best environment and "suited" or "appropriate" type of learning. I'm still hoping that he's normal, and his behavior are just results of being raised in a hostile environment.


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## Doll (Sep 6, 2012)

@_INTJellectual_ - 

I don't know if my personal experience will relate to yours or not, but I still thought it might be helpful to share it... just to give you another perspective.

My brother was diagnosed as ADHD as a child. My parents didn't want to put him on medication, but they still sent him to a different school for children with learning disabilities (for him that stemmed from the ADHD). He seemed to do well there. He was a very hyperactive child, rarely ever depressed or anything like that... he just always had a lot of energy. He was aggressive (though not with people) and destructive, and couldn't retain anything. Thankfully, he did calm down in his later years and seemed to become more laid back. 

Unfortunately, when he turned 21 he suddenly became extremely depressed - and it became so severe that he started having delusions that he was dying. No one could convince him otherwise. For a while we were terrified, but then he got better. Then he got too happy. Ever since then, he's had severe manic/depressive episodes and is officially Bipolar 1 with psychosis. Now, his doctors are saying that his previous diagnosis of ADHD was likely early signs of Bipolar 1 disorder, which they're now diagnosing in children. 

I'm in no way saying that your child is Bipolar, but there is a connection between the two - and a lot of children can either be misdiagnosed as ADHD or undiagnosed OR misdiagnosed as Bipolar when they're actually ADHD. So I encourage you to seek a second opinion no matter what feedback you get, so your child won't be sent down the wrong road. I also must say that you shouldn't go into the experience with the mindset that you want to "undo" anything. You might not be able to. Even though you can't stand the way your child behaves now and you see the traits of your grandfather (that you hate), you ultimately may not be able to change those things about him... and that is something you should probably seek help for, before you cause yourself (or your son) any damage. It's not wrong for you to feel the way you do - I hated my brother for a while. He stole from me and from my fiance, lied, tried to trick me into borrowing the car, and became someone I couldn't stand. Sometimes I still can't stand him because of what he puts my family through (even though it's no fault of his own). Family therapy and support groups really help, regardless of your child's diagnosis. I wouldn't be worried about the social stigma of seeing a psychiatrist. You're facing your problems head on (for what it's worth, my mother is a 9 like you are and she was also hesitant to 'disrupt the peace' and acknowledge everything that was going on, but she felt so much better once she did) and that's more than what most people do. Everyone could benefit from a psychiatrist/therapist, in my opinion. They give great advice. The only thing about psychiatrists is that they're mostly there to prescribe medication, not talk, so it's best to make sure your therapist/doctor/psychiatrist all communicate and have a good history of communication/rapport with one another, otherwise things can get lost in translation. Those are the common problems my parents had when seeking help for my brother and for themselves... no one seemed to talk to each other. My brother has been on three different medications (currently on Lithium), because nothing will stabilize him. I feel like it wastes a lot of time, because the psychiatrist will prescribe something new after speaking with him and my parents for five minutes, without any real understanding of what's going on.

So yes, good luck, and try to go forward with the mindset that you're going to learn how to help your son rather than change him.


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## INTJellectual (Oct 22, 2011)

@Snow White

Thanks for sharing your story. And the Bipolar things has added some of the many possibilities of illness that my son might have. Your brother's symptoms are also very similar in my child with the exception that he becomes aggressive to his playmates after he got bored playing with them. Aggressive as in, he's punching them, kicking, or any physical assault. He does that also to my younger son quite often that's why I get mad at my ADHD child very often. And now I see, why hitting him is really bad, and has bad consequences, and he learned to become violent. He's done the same thing to other children by what I did to him. 

Sometimes my ADHD child would cry if he is away from his grandfather (my husband's father who I talked about that I loathe so much), or would suddenly cry if he remembers his insecurity at math. Whenever he goes to school, he wants me inside the classroom, but I said no, because it's the school's regulation not to have any parent at the classroom. Then I pacify him and say positive things and point him that his classmates can't have also their parent/guardian inside the classroom. But most of the time, he is happy, super energetic, cheerful, and loud.

I get mad at my hyper child maybe because I see him as a normal ordinary kid capable of understanding and obeying, but deliberately not listening, following. But thoughts like he might not be a normal kid after all suddenly shifts my perspective, that I need to offer him love, understanding, and acceptance (the traits and Holy idea that my personality Type 9 possesses, but I am turning away from my very essence because of the hatred).

Seeing a psychiatrist here, would mean weakness on somebody else's personality or having a disgusting, humiliating insanity. That's why we're very discreet in talking about psychiatry and mental illness. I've been through a psychiatrist once when I had an extreme stress in my life. Family feud between my family and my husband's family (long story). I had taken some antidepressants so I could sleep and concentrate on my studies. But that point in my life was never shared to anybody, and my memory is denying the existence of me consulting a psychiatrist. Yeah I agree, they talk very brief and concentrate more on the medications. But when I consulted him (the psychiatrist), I made sure to tell him the things that were going on in my life back then, so he could properly prescribe me a right medication.

When you said Lithium, I suddenly remember the Evanescence' song "Lithium", which has a melancholic mood to it. No it's not a waste of time, and is never a waste of time of seeing a psychiatrist once someone who has some serious mental illness is diagnosed. Because once you stopped consulting and medicating, the symptoms worsens, and the illness itself worsens that might cause some more serious trouble to the person who has an illness and to the people around him/her. I think it's just normal for psychiatrists (whatever mental illness they are treating) to change their prescribed medication to their patient after 1 year, 6 months, or even 3 months of using. I guess the level of intensity of the illness changes that's why they have to alter the medication suited for the new progress or development of that illness. My brother who was diagnosed with Psychosis at age 18, had some Risperidone medications (the prize of one little tablet is more than the prize of our 1 day meal budget). Risperidone is highly effective in eradicating the hallucinatory tendencies like audio hallucinations in the case of my brother. And it did help him sleep soundly. He became fat using it ( I noticed many mental patients are fat because of the medications I guess). My brother was weak when he was young, and some people told my mom that he should seek some psychiatrist. My mom didn't listen and thought that his development would change for the better. But it didn't, and it was too late. That's also one of our biggest trial. Ever since then, I told myself that I would be strong, won't entertain suicidal thoughts (because it's one of the symptom of mental illness), and I would give myself massive, and overdose of self-love. I was depressed in my teens, but I am fighting it ever since. The only time I couldn't fight it is when I'm having a PMS-induced hormonal imbalance which I do not have control of. But it's just once a month, but still... could be dangerous.

And thank you for your meaningful insight.


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## Glenda Gnome Starr (May 12, 2011)

Hi @INTJellectual,
I have sensory processing disorder and central auditory processing disorder. 
When I was a child, I could not explain what I was experiencing so I threw temper tantrums and cried. I was feeling a lot of pain but I didn't know how to put that into words.
My hearing was, and still is, far more keen than is other people's hearing. Unfortunately, I am completely unable to filter out extraneous background noise. For me, noise is pain. There are certain frequencies that will cause me to feel as if sharp objects are going into my ears. When there is just a lot of noise, it feels as if my ears are being forced open and the noise is being poured into them. After I am exposed to noise for long enough, I get a horrible pain in the center of my head. It causes me to lose all sense of where I am in space. I am unaware of my own body and that is not a good feeling, especially for an isfp! 
When I was a kid, I did not know what to do with all of this overstimulation. When I was feeling this pain, I could not understand what people said. They all sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher. I crawled on the floor and curled up in a little ball, in an effort to protect myself from the noise. That was seen as abnormal by adults, who were simply tuning out all of that noise automatically, without thinking about it.
I am sensitive to light touch. I don't like that. So I have to avoid crowds. As a kid, it is hard to avoid the things that bother you the most. Kids have to do things that give them discomfort because adults tell them that they have to do these things or they will get into trouble for rejecting the adults' authority. 
I was a picky eater when I was a kid. I was particular about the textures that went into my mouth. Speaking of textures, there are some materials that I can't stand to touch. They just... hurt. I throw them down on the ground. I always did that. 
And, speaking about the noise, the loudspeakers at school... they were excruciating! There is a feedback noise that comes on before the voices start. It incorporates within it the frequencies that hurt my ears. So does white noise, for that matter, so I very much dislike white noise. Then the voices started, and they felt like shattering glass. Shards all over the floor.
The auditory processing disorder had some effect on my reading skills. I was fortunate that I learned to read before I started school. My parents read to me every day. In fact, I insisted upon it. At some point, I had figured out that I could recognize all of those words and I could read them myself. My mom discovered that when I was four. She was tired and wanted to go to sleep and she read me my story, in an abridged version. I said to her, But mommy, you left out all of those words! She wanted to know what words she left out. I read the book to her. She said that she thought that I memorized the book. So she got me another book, one that I had not yet seen and said for me to read that book. I read the book to her. When I started first grade, I was placed in a fast reading group because I was already a reader. But then it became clear that I could not do the phonics drills. So I was moved to the middle reading group. Then it still became clear that the phonics drills were not happening for me. So I was moved to the slow reading group. At that point, I decided that there was Fun Reading and there was School Reading, and I lost interest in school.
I never was able to read phonetically, in English, anyway. As an adult, I was diagnosed with auditory processing disorder. It was discovered that my reading skill was 100 percent visual. I recognized entire words but I could not break them down into sounds. In school, I learned how to break words down into syllables and I can recognize root words, but that is visual, so I can do that. But the sounds, especially the short vowel sounds. No. They sound alike to my ears so that doesn't happen. I can't sound out unfamiliar words and I can't find words in the dictionary if I can't spell them. I developed a huge vocabulary so that no one would know that I had trouble spelling words.
What else?
Well, I have trouble telling right from left. I didn't learn to tell time until I was in fifth grade.
There is the background noise problem, as I previously described.
I have difficulty remembering multi step verbal directions.
Well, that's a lot of words.
But one of the problems with "experts" is that they are just observing behaviors. They don't know what these disabilities FEEL like. So the experts lack empathy and just go in for name calling.
I hope that my story has helped you somewhat.
Best wishes to you and your son!



INTJellectual said:


> @_walking tourist_
> 
> I don't think my son has some food allergies but I guess the sugar contributes to his hyperactivity.
> 
> ...


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## Glenda Gnome Starr (May 12, 2011)

Oh. One more thing.
The math.
I had a difficult time learning that in school. We did all of these worksheets and they frustrated, yet bored me. I found out later that I need a more tactile, hands-on approach to learning math. With the right teaching method, your son may come to enjoy math, as I have.


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## taimoormv (Nov 16, 2021)

INTJellectual said:


> I'm not really sure if my 6-year old son has ADHD 'cause he is not diagnosed yet by an expert, but ever since he was like 1 year old and up, he was always overly energetic, couldn't stay in one place, always have a problem with concentration, focus, and retention. And his hyperactivity and aggression has come to a point where I have had a conflict with some people I knew. He is destructive everywhere he goes. He doesn't listen to anyone (except my husband whom he fears). People from different places (from preschool teacher to previous nannies he had, up to the present teachers) told me that he is not a normal kid. And some even say that he is maybe autistic. Words like these are insulting, downright mean, and disparaging. For me, why do they judge so much 'cause he's a different kid? They're not even psychologists.
> 
> His present teacher now told me that she has handled once an ADHD child, but she has never encountered a child like my son. She asked me to have him see a psychiatrist because he is becoming wilder and wilder especially when he started to get troublesome with his classmates, and when he even bit the arm of one of the teacher aides. And when me and my ADHD child are crossing the street, he doesn't even care about the vehicles that are passing. He just continue to run, walk, jump, or do anything he likes. He won't even listen to me! Strangers from different places are telling me and sometimes shouting at me to watch my son and hold him 'cause he might get run over by passing vehicles. I am so embarrassed and angry at my son, and to all the people who notice his hyperactivity. Sometimes I blame myself for what he has become, because I was too stressed out when I conceived him. I was young then 22 and was studying at the same time, I rushed and over-planned using Ni, and I dismissed the input of my secondary, tertiary and so on functions. I even blamed myself more when I left him at my parent-in-law's custody when he was 1 year old because I was studying and working then. Their place was not even healthy for the growing up kid because the environment is so hostile. Yes, they say and think they love my kid, but their environment is one where shouting, yelling, swearing, and throwing things are a normal everyday occurring thing. I think they also have spoiled my kid and he is now such a spoiled brat, and many people have also noticed that.
> 
> ...


Specifically, persistent or multiple complications in children were linked to a diagnosis of ADHD. Researchers say that infants who are unable to stop crying and who have difficulty sleeping and eating need extra control outside

ADHD is a brain disorder that is present from birth or that begins shortly after birth. Some children primarily have a problem with constant attention, concentration, and the ability to complete tasks; some children are overworked and rushed, and the other two. Children in 6years of age are brave enough to understand what's happening with him, you should start counseling him, actually parenting training skills help your child a lot to live with ADHD.


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