# My generation... Generation Empty



## Zeptometer

fourtines said:


> I hold parents entirely accountable for the things you're talking about: being raised without real parental attention, and the trend to keep adolescents from facing the consequences of their actions. I wrote a paper about this in college.
> 
> However, I don't think it's an entirely new concept. There are also people my age who were cutters, who had eating disorders, and had parents who protected their kids from the consequences of their actions (it's a trait of narcissism, and parents often project their own narcissism on to their off-spring, and narcissism seems epidemic as a personality disorder in the U.S.)


 I don't hold anyone accountable for anything. Or rather, I don't judge them. 

I know it's not like this is the first mention of this kind of behavior, but it is on the rise. I have seen some of the effectis in me, and have done my best to root them out. It's frustrating.


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## Thalassa

BluMedic said:


> I don't hold anyone accountable for anything. Or rather, I don't judge them.
> 
> I know it's not like this is the first mention of this kind of behavior, but it is on the rise. I have seen some of the effectis in me, and have done my best to root them out. It's frustrating.


Not holding anyone accountable is part of the problem. It's a sickness in society. I do judge people who allow their teens to beat, rape, torment, and kill others. 

This namby-pamby praise everybody for doing absolutely nothing is part of what leads to narcissism, lack of self-efficacy, and other problems.

While I believe in rehabilitation and therapy above all else, there's also a big place in life for justice and putting your foot down. 

This is why I will marry an SJ.


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## Zeptometer

fourtines said:


> Not holding anyone accountable is part of the problem. It's a sickness in society. I do judge people who allow their teens to beat, rape, torment, and kill others.
> 
> This namby-pamby praise everybody for doing absolutely nothing is part of what leads to narcissism, lack of self-efficacy, and other problems.
> 
> While I believe in rehabilitation and therapy above all else, there's also a big place in life for justice and putting your foot down.
> 
> This is why I will marry an SJ.


See, you're confusing me with someone who thinks that there should be no punishment. I guess I should have clarified; I don't judge people, I judge actions. And I do believe in justice, but I also believe that a lot of times people, because we are human, make judgmental errors and our 'justice' rarely solves issues and instead perpetuates them. I believe that most of this kind of stuff is up to one's own self (in this case, both the parents and the kids) to learn, because that's the best way to prevent stupid shit like this from happening.


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## cue5c

BluMedic said:


> So, I was reading this book called _"The Price of Privilege_. It basically talks about how the newest generation is full of teenagers and kids who are depressed for no readily apparent reason. They're rich, they have plenty of friends, they have whatever they want... but they still are depressed.
> 
> The book goes on to explain why people are so depressed: Our parents, while well meaning, have been taught how to parent wrong. Parents, who are busy working in offices, while well meaning and all, don't pay enough attention to us, and give us money and stuff to appease us. That's not a particularly new thing to psychology, but what is new is that it's happening in conjunction with parents over pressuring kids to succeed in school, and not letting us face our own consequences, all on a mass scale. Parents are raising kids that are depressed because they have no real character; everything we do is dictated to them, we are constantly under tremendous stress to perform well in school, and when we do something seriously wrong because parents do not pay enough attention to us (I know that sounds like a stretch, but if you really consider the impact of having family that isn't there for you as much as you need them to be, it makes sense), like how people have died at high school parties, or how high school girls have been raped by their peers, their parents hire fancy lawyers to prevent their kids from going to jail.
> 
> Our generation is filled with these lost kids who act out, who are depressed, who have eating disorders, who hurt themselves, and so, I want to send this message to anyone who reads this: you need to be there for your kids, and you need to let them grow up. Don't make everything too easy for them, cuz they'll fail as soon as they have to stand up on their own.


This is every generation. Everyone starts as a child and grows into a teenager, blaming adults for how they and others around them turn out. Then they become an adult themself and realize that they're the same child as they were at 15, only now with more experiences. Then they realize this is how their parents must have felt at that age and you start to think about how you would raise a child. You can think you'd be so much better, but chances are you'd do exactly the same thing. Or the opposite, in which case your children would do the opposite and it'd just be one large cycle. 

Anyway.

Once you've come to accept the fact that your parents are still just children with a larger amount of experiences, you start to look back at everything that's made you bitter or hurt. You lurk in them for a time, thinking about how awful that was and how there's no way you can possibly get over it and now you're life is damaged. You acknowledge that fear of a broken life, and then you toss it aside. The only way it can break your life is if you let it. Once you've got all that figured out, then you can see past everyone else and put yourself in their shoes and realize that all those "idiots", as most people would call them, were just other children trying to make sense of everything else. Every generation is the same, just different experiences.

Our different experience is that, because of the widespread accessibility we've been provided, our generation is seeing all of that in a much larger capacity than we're meant to handle. Everyone before just had to deal with their social circles and whatever the paper and TV was feeding them. Now, we have too many faces thrown at us that we're supposed to remember. Cracked has a great article about how we can only remember about 150 people, and anyone else isn't fully human to us. When you're young, pop culture is one of the easiest things to talk about and get to know who a person is. With our generation, we have so many people to remember that it's actually making us less social. 

Is this anyone's fault? No. It's just a natural byproduct of how fast technology has evolved. Right now no one knows what's going to be a success, so instead of trying things out one by one, they throw everything at us. It's a very new thing and already dying down, but our generation got to be right in the middle of two worlds. Every generation has a problem and ours is to define the new society.

So are our parents to blame? Yes. But so are the parents of every generation. And so will we one day be.


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## Zeptometer

... Once again, the numbers are _on the rise_

Also, I find that hard to believe. I may only be able to think of 150 people that I know if you ask me at one moment, but 1 hour later and that would change. Moreover, that has nothing to do with this.

I now understand what @Ace Face meant  Since everyone is so sceptical, it was pointless to post this. You're clearly all not really interested enough to investigate, so just stop posting if you don't have something better to say than that I'm incorrect.


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## cue5c

Of course numbers are rising. Population's always increasing and with technology bringing work home it's bound to cause some effect. I'm just saying that every generation has it's problems to work on so the next one doesn't. If you look closely you'll notice a pattern. Think of it like this:

Because of ______, children are becoming ______ and turning to ______. It's the parent's job to teach them ______ so that when they ______ they'll have all the necessary information. When we were young, we had ______, but time's are different and without ______ education falls solely on the parent.

And something else to think about: Is it entirely a parent's fault? With equality issues as heated as ever, there are going to be problems. Women want to work and now that they're finally getting the equal respect that they deserved you're not going to see them back down. On the other hand, men are still expected to provide as much as they've always had. This results in neither parent wanting to sacrifice as they'll both feel one is letting the other down. That can lead to feelings of bitterness and eventually cause strain to a relationship, which can be just as harmful for a child. It's a lose-lose situation that the media keeps pushing. 

Speaking of the media, it controls everything now. You can read a thousand articles on a certain subject just because someone wrote it once. Going back to my first post: With no one knowing what's going to become popular, everyone just takes whatever headline they find and churns out their own story until eventually it becomes a thing. And not always a deserving one. That's why everything is so scattered. Every author adds an urgency to their writing. With so many topics out there and a lot of people wanting to be heard, not every issue is as life-threatening as the author would like you to believe. 

I'm not saying this is one of those issues. I'm just saying that each issue has a million different reasons for existing in the first place and that my post was not about you being wrong, just a side dish to go along with the main course of your topic.

And I totally forgot to comment about the school side of it all. Everyone wants money and with the education system convincing others you need a college degree to just survive today, of course parents are going to be pushing education. And that's exactly what they want. Again, I'm not saying don't go to college, but realize the urgency they give it is so that they can survive the way they do now. Education won't go away, but without the money a lot of the privileges associated with it will. It's all just one large cycle so people don't have to change until eventually they're forced to.

And that's life. :tongue:


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## Thalassa

BluMedic said:


> See, you're confusing me with someone who thinks that there should be no punishment. I guess I should have clarified; I don't judge people, I judge actions. And I do believe in justice, but I also believe that a lot of times people, because we are human, make judgmental errors and our 'justice' rarely solves issues and instead perpetuates them. I believe that most of this kind of stuff is up to one's own self (in this case, both the parents and the kids) to learn, because that's the best way to prevent stupid shit like this from happening.



Well you and I are going to have to agree to disagree, because I see your method as idealistic and ineffective.


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## Strider95

I've gotta agree with many posts here.. I too think that most of my peers will be having a hard time in the future.. one can see it already - the immense pressure, expectations, competition, exposure, etc. is gonna make them look back on their life in mid 20s and ask, "Is that all there is to life..? Is this all the years of my life have piled up on?". Due to immense pressure they may fizzle out.Although the internet and extreme exposure might probably help them get over it.

Though hopefully I won't end up like that.. seeing that I've been having Existential depression since i was 12 or so.. I'm used to having depressing thoughts..

Just my thoughts..


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## traceur

BluMedic said:


> you need to be there for your kids, and you need to let them grow up. Don't make everything too easy for them, cuz they'll fail as soon as they have to stand up on their own.


look, sorry to take your thunder but this is applicable to generation X Y & Z to increasing dagree's. 

feminism has improved the world in many ways, but unfortunately we really haven't figured out how to be good parents without someone at home, and since the main impact of the double income family has being in decreasing incomes (relatively to inflation rates) and an increase competition for real estate in better school districts, so if we want to be good parents (and we do) to give you the best oppertunities, we can't exactly afford moving to part time jobs or even provide a good nanny (which now needs a dagree in child development) or anything else to compensate for our lack of time as parents. 

but if you think that screwed your generation over, add to that the bad economy which means increasingly more of us are spending more money on credit card fee's and increasing traveling time to work just so we can keep our jobs and increasing fuel prices, and saving becomes nearly impossible - with increasing education prices, most of us are still paying for our education loans while we become parents, and you guys are pretty much guranteed a life time of student debt because there's no way most of our generation will be able to afford paying or even helping you through school, and with the decline of manufacturing jobs and expected decline in service jobs, your chances of making it out in life without education are even worst then ours. add to that the fact less and less of us can afford good life/term insurance, so if anything happens to us your totally screwed. 

so in summary: no parenting time, no financial security, a life time of debt ahead of you just so you can keep a job... should i mantion the environment?


for what it's worth: we're sorry.


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## Strider95

traceur said:


> for what it's worth: we're sorry.


HECK it might actually be fun.. whaddya know?


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## Jabberbroccoli

Except for the first page, this thread was tl;dr.
Forgive me if I jump into the discussion oddly.

I'm going to bitch that society doesn't value NT & NF, nor P. Creativity, spontaneity, Philosophism (it makes sense in Greek, although I doubt it's a word in English), all of this isn't valued. My parents regard "entrepreneur" as synonymous with "unemployed", "artist" as "accomplishing nothing in life". Society values material and monetary achievements above cognitive and artistic ones. Sad.
My parents are INTJ & ESFJ baby boomers. My Mom was a stay at home mother, there was no lack of attention for me. There's just a misguided focus in society. I'm depressed about society. Not about myself. Dread is actually a more accurate emotion.

My parents give me a remarkable level of independence, comparatively speaking. I'll still blame early generations for making everything about money. Money will always be a focus, but it shouldn't be the sole quality by which to judge a person's success.

Typed on my iPhone, when I'm half asleep and borderline-delirious from lack of rest. Forgive me for seeming scrambled.


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## traceur

Jabberbroccoli said:


> My parents are INTJ & ESFJ baby boomers.


dude i got the distinct impression the OP is in his early to mid teens and that the generation of parents he was judging wasn't the babyboomers it was us, early Y'rs & settled X'rs.


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## Dimensional Transition

I agree with OP. The emptiness of everything in the world currently is sickening. It's not just the fault of the parents though. They're also victims.

All character is destroyed; Have odd-looking teeth? Braces. Small breasts? Implants. Different? ADD. Drug 'em. Innovative? Danger to society. Punish them.

It's fucking disgusting. What's even more sad is that people just blindly follow all of that bullshit. I've jokingly read some girls' magazines to friends before, but when you think about it, these magazines and such actually seriously brainwash young people. Everywhere in society you're indoctrinated with fear and insecurity. On the news, in newspapers, magazines. A bunch of fucking assholes is making everybody afraid by twisting facts and predicting all sorts of doom-scenarios, just so they can make more money. They're a bunch of evil empty shells.

We should make a change.

Of course, I'm making this all sound worse than it is probably, as always when you get very into a discussion, but I know there's some truth in what I've said for sure. I hope my generation will somehow soon turn into a new generation of open-mindedness, friendliness and intelligence. An improved, renewed beatnik/hippie generation. That would be wonderful.


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## Strider95

Dimensional Transition said:


> I agree with OP. The emptiness of everything in the world currently is sickening. It's not just the fault of the parents though. They're also victims.
> 
> All character is destroyed; Have odd-looking teeth? Braces. Small breasts? Implants. Different? ADD. Drug 'em. Innovative? Danger to society. Punish them.
> 
> It's fucking disgusting. What's even more sad is that people just blindly follow all of that bullshit. I've jokingly read some girls' magazines to friends before, but when you think about it, these magazines and such actually seriously brainwash young people. Everywhere in society you're indoctrinated with fear and insecurity. On the news, in newspapers, magazines. A bunch of fucking assholes is making everybody afraid by twisting facts and predicting all sorts of doom-scenarios, just so they can make more money. They're a bunch of evil empty shells.
> 
> We should make a change.
> 
> Of course, I'm making this all sound worse than it is probably, as always when you get very into a discussion, but I know there's some truth in what I've said for sure. I hope my generation will somehow soon turn into a new generation of open-mindedness, friendliness and intelligence. An improved, renewed beatnik/hippie generation. That would be wonderful.


Hopefully..


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## funcoolname

Dimensional Transition said:


> I agree with OP. The emptiness of everything in the world currently is sickening. It's not just the fault of the parents though. They're also victims.
> 
> All character is destroyed; Have odd-looking teeth? Braces. Small breasts? Implants. Different? ADD. Drug 'em. Innovative? Danger to society. Punish them.
> 
> It's fucking disgusting. What's even more sad is that people just blindly follow all of that bullshit. I've jokingly read some girls' magazines to friends before, but when you think about it, these magazines and such actually seriously brainwash young people. Everywhere in society you're indoctrinated with fear and insecurity. On the news, in newspapers, magazines. A bunch of fucking assholes is making everybody afraid by twisting facts and predicting all sorts of doom-scenarios, just so they can make more money. They're a bunch of evil empty shells.
> 
> We should make a change.
> 
> Of course, I'm making this all sound worse than it is probably, as always when you get very into a discussion, but I know there's some truth in what I've said for sure. I hope my generation will somehow soon turn into a new generation of open-mindedness, friendliness and intelligence. An improved, renewed beatnik/hippie generation. That would be wonderful.


I think Gen-Y isn't so bad, or at least the 20something year-olds I've been around seem a bit more reasonable than their parents. And with the incredible amount of communication and rate that ideas can be disseminated thanks to the internet, it's easier to gain different perspectives and see through BS. But yeah, I won't be having Cosmo and Vogue laying around in my house. I don't really want a hippie generation next, that era ended for a reason, but I'm all for friendliness and intelligence, open-mindedness, all tempered by introspection


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## CoopV

Dimensional Transition said:


> I agree with OP. The emptiness of everything in the world currently is sickening. It's not just the fault of the parents though. They're also victims.
> 
> All character is destroyed; Have odd-looking teeth? Braces. Small breasts? Implants. Different? ADD. Drug 'em. Innovative? Danger to society. Punish them.
> 
> It's fucking disgusting. What's even more sad is that people just blindly follow all of that bullshit. I've jokingly read some girls' magazines to friends before, but when you think about it, these magazines and such actually seriously brainwash young people. Everywhere in society you're indoctrinated with fear and insecurity. On the news, in newspapers, magazines. A bunch of fucking assholes is making everybody afraid by twisting facts and predicting all sorts of doom-scenarios, just so they can make more money. They're a bunch of evil empty shells.
> 
> We should make a change.
> 
> Of course, I'm making this all sound worse than it is probably, as always when you get very into a discussion, but I know there's some truth in what I've said for sure. I hope my generation will somehow soon turn into a new generation of open-mindedness, friendliness and intelligence. An improved, renewed beatnik/hippie generation. That would be wonderful.


I feel the same way...


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## LimeDegree

I apologize for being off topic, but can anyone explain to me how to flip my designation from Generation Y to Generation X? Been over the settings carefully and could not find any option. Or have I been pigeonholed?


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## Glenda Gnome Starr

Pigeonholed, alas. 
It seems that the community's settings involves putting people into generations according to preset years. Not everyone agrees with those years.


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## JungyesMBTIno

> Dr. Gabor Mate, Canadian doctor writes books extensively talking about how ADD and ADHD has been a result of children having their childhoods robbed due to the fact that much needed parental attention wasn't there during early stages of development.


Wow...that just gave me a whole new perspective on the term "attention deficit" disorder - it's not a disorder of attention deficit to the environment - it's a disorder of attention deficit from parents! I can totally believe it, due to lack of discipline.


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## Persephone

Zeptometer said:


> I have ADD, and my dad was abusive and I had to separate myself from him, but I don't want to believe the two are connected it makes me feel like I should judge my dad, when I don't.


I have ADD, and I barely saw my mom after I was born. She was working until the day before I was born. I forgot how long she took off to care for me afterwards, but it was not long. I spent long stretches of solitary confinement in my suburban home, without even transportation to go somewhere else. I had "servants", for sure. Where I come from, domestic aid is cheap and they don't parent me. They do things for me when I ask, but we mostly ignore each other. I don't attribute my ADHD to this though. I suffered a difficult birth that caused my brain to be oxygen-deprived, and my family has a history of ADHD. But this is also an age of entitlement, and our problems do not solely stem from the lack of parental attention. In many ways, we're taught to expect too much of ourselves. Everyone wins, and there's no competition up until we enter the "real world" then we realize that BAM, all our illusions are shattered and suddenly we're not half the person we thought we'd be.


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