# Unconscious childhood messages of Enneagram types - another order of relation thing



## Choice

Copying this: [thread] (I think it's Riso's)

A) Pick the few you relate to most, and Rank them from most to least, with a brief explanation if you're generous.

Unconscious Childhood Messages:
Type 1 - "It's not okay to make mistakes."
Type 2 - "It's not okay to have your own needs."
Type 3 - "It's not okay to have your own feelings and identity."
Type 4 - "It's not okay to be too functional or too happy."
Type 5 - "It's not okay to be comfortable in the world."
Type 6 - "It's not okay to trust yourself."
Type 7 - "It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything."
Type 8 - "It's not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone."
Type 9 - "It's not okay to assert yourself."

B) Same as A, what scares you the most?

Basic Fears:
Type 1 - Fear of being bad, corrupt, evil, or defective.
Type 2 - Fear of being unworthy or unloved.
Type 3 - Fear of being worthless or without inherent value.
Type 4 - Fear of being without identity or personal significance.
Type 5 - Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent.
Type 6 - Fear of being without support or guidance.
Type 7 - Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain.
Type 8 - Fear of being harmed or controlled by others.
Type 9 - Fear of loss of connection, of fragmentation.

C) Same as A, what do you want most?

Basic Desires and their Distortions:
Type 1 - The desire to have integrity (deteriorates into critical perfection).
Type 2 - The desire to be loved (deteriorates into the need to be needed).
Type 3 - The desire to be valuable (deteriorates into chasing after success).
Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence).
Type 5 - The desire to be competent (deteriorates into useless specialization).
Type 6 - The desire to be secure (deteriorates into attachment to beliefs).
Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism).
Type 8 - The desire to protect oneself (deteriorates into constant fighting).
Type 9 - The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness).


D) Same as A, What do you most want to hear as an affirmation (edit: backed up by action)?

Lost Childhood Messages:
Type 1 - "You are good."
Type 2 - "You are wanted."
Type 3 - "You are loved for yourself."
Type 4 - "You are seen for who you are."
Type 5 - "Your needs are not a problem."
Type 6 - "You are safe."
Type 7 - "You will be taken care of."
Type 8 - "You will not be betrayed."
Type 9 - "Your presence matters."

E) Which of the following do you think that you do most of?

Spiritual Jump Start (patterns to be aware of):
Unconscious Childhood Messages:
Type 1 - Value-judging, condemning yourself and others.
Type 2 - Giving your value away to others.
Type 3 - Trying to be other than you authentically are. 
Type 4 - Making negative comparisons.
Type 5 - Over interpreting your experience.
Type 6 - Becoming dependent on something outside yourself for support.
Type 7 - Anticipating what you are going to do next.
Type 8 - Trying to force or control your life.
Type 9 - Resisting being affected by your experiences.
--
*How well does this communicate the concepts** in your opinion?*

Reason: Trying to determine how effectively one can gauge their own types from this, given that the phrases can be interpreted in different ways.


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## kaleidoscope

*A)*

Type 3 - "It's not okay to have your own feelings and identity."
Type 4 - "It's not okay to be too functional or too happy."

It wasn't at all acceptable to have different opinions, thoughts, feelings, desires from my parents. _They _raised me, and so naturally, I was expected to function and be *exactly *the way they were. Any sign of difference or "deviance" wasn't well received.

*B)*

Type 2 - Fear of being unworthy or unloved.
Type 3 - Fear of being worthless or without inherent value.
Type 4 - Fear of being without identity or personal significance.


*C)*

Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence).
Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism).

*D)*

*Type 3 - "You are loved for yourself." *< I relate to this one a lot, surprisingly.
Type 4 - "You are seen for who you are."

I never felt like my parents accepted me, loved me but most importantly *saw *me for who I was. When I was praised, it was because of my achievements and it was very.. _very _short lived. Any manifestation of my *real* personality, meaning my expressing of my real wants and needs was severely punished, because it was different, and therefore it was automatically wrong.

*E)*

Type 3 - Trying to be other than you authentically are. 
Type 4 - Making negative comparisons.


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## Nastorm

What I relate with the most UNBIASED.

A.Childhood messages:
Type 2 - "It's not okay to have your own needs."
Type 3 - "It's not okay to have your own feelings and identity."
Type 1 - "It's not okay to make mistakes."

B.Fears:
Type 8 - Fear of being harmed or controlled by others.
Type 2 - Fear of being unworthy or unloved.
Type 7 - Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain.


C.Desires:
Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism).
Type 9 - The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness).
Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence).

D.Lost messages:
Type 8 - "You will not be betrayed."
Type 7 - "You will be taken care of."
Type 4 - "You are seen for who you are."

E.I do most of:
Type 9 - Resisting being affected by your experiences.
Type 6 - Becoming dependent on something outside yourself for support.
Type 1 - Value-judging, condemning yourself and others.

So it seems that I'm all over the place, and I hardly see this as a way to find your enneagram. Actually my tritype comes up in the desires section only. In section A, I see my parents' enneagrams maybe but not mine.


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## The Nth Doctor

Unconscious:
Type 1 - "It's not okay to make mistakes."
Type 2 - "It's not okay to have your own needs."
Type 7 - "It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything."
pretty much because of those: Type 9 - "It's not okay to assert yourself."

My mom's a perfectionist, and usually negative. Or at least most of what she expresses about her family or house or projects is negative. My schoolwork's still not done, or the house is a mess, or there are only 7 kids showing up for this thing. I've always just tried to not be a problem and not screw up or do anything else to inconvenience other people.

Fears:
Type 9 - Fear of loss of connection, of fragmentation. (All things come to an end, but I hate endings more than anything else.)
Type 3 - Fear of being worthless or without inherent value. (If I'm not worth anything to anyone what can I do? What's the point?)

Desires:
Type 9 - The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness). (I want things to be OK, if something's really not OK then I sometimes try to just ignore it and pretend it's not there.)
Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism). (Pretty much the same as with 9, but I relate to this one to a lesser extent as well.)

Lost Childhood Messages:
Type 9 - "Your presence matters."
Type 1 - "You are good."
Type 2 - "You are wanted."

Spiritual Jump Start:
Type 9 - Resisting being affected by your experiences.


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## Choice

Some of how I initially read things differ with the model, as expected.

A) 
* *





Type 1 - "It's not okay to make mistakes."
Type 2 - "It's not okay to have your own needs."
Type 3 - "It's not okay to have your own feelings and identity."
Type 4 - "It's not okay to be too functional or too happy."
Type 5 - "It's not okay to be comfortable in the world."
Type 6 - "It's not okay to trust yourself."
Type 7 - "It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything."
Type 8 - "It's not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone."
Type 9 - "It's not okay to assert yourself."



 7>8
>1 (mistakes make me frustrated, especially if I don't seem to gain or learn anything significant from them)
>3 (I'm willing to deny my feelings if it makes me look better to myself)
>4 ( For my own entertainment value, I like fictional characters to be flawed to seem 3D. Applies to everyone in the real world. sometimes I fear that if I succeed too well in something I'll never reach that same elation again, since novelty wears off quickly.)
>2 (I should really be more considerate)
>6 (I should really be more skeptical of my decisions before launching into action)
>9 (Sometimes if I play docile, people are less annoying)
>5 (Why the -bleep- would I want to uncomfortable? ARE YOU ON SPECIAL MEDICATION?)


B) Same as A, what scares you the most?

* *




Basic Fears:
Type 1 - Fear of being bad, corrupt, evil, or defective.
Type 2 - Fear of being unworthy or unloved.
Type 3 - Fear of being worthless or without inherent value.
Type 4 - Fear of being without identity or personal significance.
Type 5 - Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent.
Type 6 - Fear of being without support or guidance.
Type 7 - Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain.
Type 8 - Fear of being harmed or controlled by others.
Type 9 - Fear of loss of connection, of fragmentation.



7>8
>5 (How the hell do I adapt to the world again? Let's research this some more.)
>4 (If I don't have my self image as a construct, what else shall I cling onto?!!! :angry
>1 (I look forward to unsettling you with my sadistic inclinations roud
>3 (I choose to define worth and value with the differences that I've made. What if I haven't entertained or given advice to people well enough? What if I haven't made enough of a difference with my small gestures of help? What of all those lost opportunities to change things for the better?)
>9 (I dissociation frequently enough. And I'm quite afraid of losing friends/family who still want me around - I'll miss out on experiences and emotional bonding with them!)
>6 (I mostly see a need to find that support on my own. Won't I get it if I ask around enough? Aid is usually welcome though.)
>2 (Love? I take it for granted from some, and seldom think about it.)


C) Same as A, what do you want most?

* *





Basic Desires and their Distortions:
Type 1 - The desire to have integrity (deteriorates into critical perfection).
Type 2 - The desire to be loved (deteriorates into the need to be needed).
Type 3 - The desire to be valuable (deteriorates into chasing after success).
Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence).
Type 5 - The desire to be competent (deteriorates into useless specialization).
Type 6 - The desire to be secure (deteriorates into attachment to beliefs).
Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism).
Type 8 - The desire to protect oneself (deteriorates into constant fighting).
Type 9 - The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness).




7>8
>6 (If security means staying within my comfort zone, then yes. I often have trouble leaving it. If it equates to survival, that I'm greatly interested too.)
>9 (Well, everything that I'm not looking for is probably boring. So let's ignore all of that.)
>1 (Look at all my flaws! They drive me nuts! )
> 3 (Oh hey, people laughed at what I did! Did she just say I made her day better? Let's do more of that. *insert attention whoring* // If I'm not actively contributing, I don't have a purpose in this matter, and I might as well do something else that doesn't bore me.) = 4 (I can't do that! That's not me! Stop threatening my self of self!)
>5 (e.g.* If only I could be more interested in socializing.* *insert stuff on this site* Now I can put people in boxes! And interrogate people based on their values! Great for having things to ask people! ....Now if only I could be more interested in socializing.)
>2 ( I'd rather be wanted for a service, since need implies that I'm trapped in the duty. The fact that I can provide for someone makes me feel strong.) 

D) Same as A, What do you most want to hear as an affirmation?


* *




Lost Childhood Messages:
Type 1 - "You are good."
Type 2 - "You are wanted."
Type 3 - "You are loved for yourself."
Type 4 - "You are seen for who you are."
Type 5 - "Your needs are not a problem."
Type 6 - "You are safe."
Type 7 - "You will be taken care of."
Type 8 - "You will not be betrayed."
Type 9 - "Your presence matters."



7 ( *insert endless gratitude*)
> 3 ( I uh, I don't usually expect you to mean that. Having being likeable as an expectation sounds like trouble.) 
> 5 (*What's the difference of this from 7?*)
> 1 (I stand firmly on my neutral alignment, but it's nice to be perceived that way.)
> 6 (Full Comfort?)
>4 (Is this not a prerequisite for 3?)
>9 (I'm participating!)
>8 (People who I can care about very freely. What am I without trust?)
>2 (I don't know, do I have a choice in this?)

/phrasing bias.

E) Which of the following do you think that you do most of?


* *




Spiritual Jump Start (patterns to be aware of):
Type 1 - Value-judging, condemning yourself and others.
Type 2 - Giving your value away to others.
Type 3 - Trying to be other than you authentically are. 
Type 4 - Making negative comparisons.
Type 5 - Over interpreting your experience.
Type 6 - Becoming dependent on something outside yourself for support.
Type 7 - Anticipating what you are going to do next.
Type 8 - Trying to force or control your life.
Type 9 - Resisting being affected by your experiences.




7 > 1 > 6 (the internet and various stimulants) ....I wish I knew what to make of the rest.


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## RepairmanMan Man

Jiktin said:


> A) Pick the few you relate to most, and Rank them from most to least, with a brief explanation if you're generous.
> 
> _*Unconscious Childhood Messages:*_
> 
> These were the messages I got from my parents (in this order):
> *Type 9 - "It's not okay to assert yourself."
> **Type 2 - "It's not okay to have your own needs."**
> Type 7 - "It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything."
> *
> Yes, they were both 2-fixed 9s. Benign neglect on my mother's part. They didn't want to hear a peep out of me and tended to downplay when I got upset. They also _strongly_ discouraged fighting and self-assertion.
> 
> Ways I sometimes felt inside:
> Type 4 - "It's not okay to be too functional or too happy."
> Type 1 - "It's not okay to make mistakes."
> Type 8 - "It's not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone."
> Type 5 - "It's not okay to be comfortable in the world."
> 
> Not these:
> Type 3 - "It's not okay to have your own feelings and identity."
> Type 6 - "It's not okay to trust yourself."
> 
> 
> B) Same as A, what scares you the most?
> 
> Basic Fears:
> Yes (in order of how conscious I am of them):
> *Type 5 - Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent.
> Type 8 - Fear of being harmed or controlled by others.
> Type 3 - Fear of being worthless or without inherent value.
> Type 4 - Fear of being without identity or personal significance.
> Type 6 - Fear of being without support or guidance.
> *
> Partly:
> Type 1 - Fear of being bad, corrupt, evil, or defective.
> Type 7 - Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain.
> 
> No:
> Type 2 - Fear of being unworthy or unloved.
> Type 9 - Fear of loss of connection, of fragmentation.
> 
> 
> C) Same as A, what do you want most?
> 
> Basic Desires and their Distortions (in order of importance):
> Type 5 - The desire to be competent (deteriorates into useless specialization).
> Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence).
> Type 8 - The desire to protect oneself (deteriorates into constant fighting).
> Type 3 - The desire to be valuable (deteriorates into chasing after success).
> Type 6 - The desire to be secure (deteriorates into attachment to beliefs).
> Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism).
> Type 9 - The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness).
> Type 1 - The desire to have integrity (deteriorates into critical perfection).
> Type 2 - The desire to be loved (deteriorates into the need to be needed).
> 
> 
> D) Same as A, What do you most want to hear as an affirmation (edit: backed up by action)?
> 
> Lost Childhood Messages:
> More:
> *Type 2 - "You are wanted."
> Type 9 - "Your presence matters."
> Type 5 - "Your needs are not a problem."
> Type 7 - "You will be taken care of."
> Type 6 - "You are safe."*
> Less:
> Type 8 - "You will not be betrayed."
> Type 1 - "You are good."
> Type 3 - "You are loved for yourself."
> Type 4 - "You are seen for who you are."
> 
> Yeah, so basically, just another feeling my parents didn't really care and my peers didn't want me around.
> 
> 
> E) Which of the following do you think that you do most of?
> 
> Spiritual Jump Start (patterns to be aware of):
> 
> *Type 4 - Making negative comparisons.
> Type 7 - Anticipating what you are going to do next.
> Type 1 - Value-judging, condemning yourself and others.
> Type 9 - Resisting being affected by your experiences.*
> 
> --
> *How well does this communicate the concepts** in your opinion?*
> Ha ha ha ah ha...not really. You'd have to do some serious introspection using those statements alone. Mine don't fit any specific pattern, except you can tell I was probably raised by two somewhat neglectful 9s.


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## heaveninawildflower

*A.*
Type 4 - "It's not okay to be too functional or too happy."
Type 7 - "It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything."
Type 8 - "It's not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone."


*B.*
Type 4 - Fear of being without identity or personal significance.
Type 5 - Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent.


*C.*
Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence).
Type 8 - The desire to protect oneself (deteriorates into constant fighting).

*
D.*
Type 2 - "You are wanted."
Type 4 - "You are seen for who you are."
Type 6 - "You are safe."


*E.*
Type 4 - Making negative comparisons.
Type 5 - Over interpreting your experience.


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## sodden

I don't understand that unconscious childhood messages one. Is it supposed to be messages you got from your parents or is it something that's more innate? 

A) Innate: 
Type 5 - "It's not okay to be comfortable in the world."
 Type 4 - "It's not okay to be too functional or too happy."
 Type 8 - "It's not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone."

Parents: 
Type 6 - "It's not okay to trust yourself."
 Type 2 - "It's not okay to have your own needs."
 Type 1 - "It's not okay to make mistakes."

B) Type 4 - Fear of being without identity or personal significance. _This one's huge.
_
C) Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence). - _As is this one.
_
D) Type 4 - "You are seen for who you are." 
 Type 5 - "Your needs are not a problem."
 Type 3 - "You are loved for yourself."


E) Type 4 - Making negative comparisons.
 Type 5 - Over interpreting your experience.

I think the basic fears and desires are the cornerstone of the enneagram so they matter a lot. The other stuff, kind of hit and miss.


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## Tater Tot

*A) *
1. Type 9 - "It's not okay to assert yourself."
2. Type 7 - "It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything."
I always got good results from being quiet and cute. I felt like being too demanding or outgoing would be a sin. 
And I always hated asking for help or guidance... but that was because I always had to. XD I was and still am sooooo ditsy, and I was always embarrassed about it - and I was kind of made fun of it from the adults. I remember going into the clinic at school and asking the nurse where the clinic was rofl! Because I thought it was called the 'Nurse's office.' And I remember hating being the line leader because I was so horrible with directions. "Stop at the blue doors." "Which one?" "The one at the end of the hallway..." "Which hallway?" "OMG JUST GO OVER THERE. T_T"
*B)
*1. Type 3 - Fear of being worthless or without inherent value.

*C)*
1. Type 3 - The desire to be valuable (deteriorates into chasing after success).
2. Type 9 - The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness).

*D)
*1. Type 9 - "Your presence matters."
^THIS BY FAR. 
*
E)
*1. Type 9 - Resisting being affected by your experiences.
2. Type 3 - Trying to be other than you authentically are.

I'm actually pretty good at resisting being affected by anything! XD I probably relate more to that than changing myself, although I do that as well.

And this is why I don't know whether or not I'm a 3 most of the time. T-T


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## sorry_neither

Unconscious Childhood Messages:
Type 5 - "It's not okay to be comfortable in the world."
Type 1 - "It's not okay to make mistakes."
Type 7 - "It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything."

I was never really comfortable in the world. Highly sensitive children see the world as chaotic--that was definitely me. Efforts to make myself comfortable resulted in lots of comments, too much attention, and questioning. No one explained anything, or well enough. Sensitivity + being yelled at = afraid of making mistakes. Single mom and limited resources meant I missed out on a lot of stuff I wanted and needed... which fed back into not being comfortable in the world.

Basic Fears:
Type 5 - Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent.
Type 8 - Fear of being harmed or controlled by others.
Type 4 - Fear of being without identity or personal significance.

Basic Desires and their Distortions:
Type 5 - The desire to be competent (deteriorates into useless specialization).
Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence).
Type 1 - The desire to have integrity (deteriorates into critical perfection).

Lost Childhood Messages:
Type 4 - "You are seen for who you are."
Type 5 - "Your needs are not a problem."
Type 2 - "You are wanted."
Type 1 - "You are good."

Spiritual Jump Start (patterns to be aware of):
Type 5 - Over interpreting your experience.
Type 7 - Anticipating what you are going to do next.
Type 1 - Value-judging, condemning yourself and others.
Type 4 - Making negative comparisons.


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## Sina

Excellent thread idea. I'll come back to this.


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## Recede

A: Unconscious Childhood Messages:
*Type 1 - "It's not okay to make mistakes."*
Type 2 - "It's not okay to have your own needs."
Type 3 - "It's not okay to have your own feelings and identity."
Type 4 - "It's not okay to be too functional or too happy."
Type 5 - "It's not okay to be comfortable in the world."
*Type 6 - "It's not okay to trust yourself."*
_*Type 7 - "It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything."*_
Type 8 - "It's not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone."
*Type 9 - "It's not okay to assert yourself."*

B: Basic Fears:
Type 1 - Fear of being bad, corrupt, evil, or defective.
*Type 2 - Fear of being unworthy or unloved.*
Type 3 - Fear of being worthless or without inherent value.
*Type 4 - Fear of being without identity or personal significance.*
*Type 5 - Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent.*
Type 6 - Fear of being without support or guidance.
_*Type 7 - Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain.*_
Type 8 - Fear of being harmed or controlled by others.
Type 9 - Fear of loss of connection, of fragmentation.

C: Basic Desires and their Distortions:
Type 1 - The desire to have integrity (deteriorates into critical perfection).
Type 2 - The desire to be loved (deteriorates into the need to be needed).
Type 3 - The desire to be valuable (deteriorates into chasing after success).
Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence).
Type 5 - The desire to be competent (deteriorates into useless specialization).
Type 6 - The desire to be secure (deteriorates into attachment to beliefs).
_*Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism).*_
Type 8 - The desire to protect oneself (deteriorates into constant fighting).
*Type 9 - The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness).*

D: Lost Childhood Messages:
Type 1 - "You are good."
Type 2 - "You are wanted."
*Type 3 - "You are loved for yourself."*
_*Type 4 - "You are seen for who you are."*_
Type 5 - "Your needs are not a problem."
Type 6 - "You are safe."
Type 7 - "You will be taken care of."
Type 8 - "You will not be betrayed."
Type 9 - "Your presence matters."

E: Spiritual Jump Start (patterns to be aware of):
Unconscious Childhood Messages:
Type 1 - Value-judging, condemning yourself and others.
Type 2 - Giving your value away to others.
Type 3 - Trying to be other than you authentically are. 
*Type 4 - Making negative comparisons.*
_*Type 5 - Over interpreting your experience.*_
Type 6 - Becoming dependent on something outside yourself for support.
Type 7 - Anticipating what you are going to do next.
Type 8 - Trying to force or control your life.
Type 9 - Resisting being affected by your experiences.


Weird, I related most to 7 for three out of five of them.


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## Kelvin

Hmmm... the ones that I identify the most are:

_Unconscious Childhood Messages:
Type 3 - "It's not okay to have your own feelings and identity."
Type 5 - "It's not okay to be comfortable in the world."
Type 8 - "It's not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone."_


_Basic Fears:
Type 3 - Fear of being worthless or without inherent value.
Type 5 - Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent.
Type 8 - Fear of being harmed or controlled by others.



Basic Desires and their Distortions:

Type 3 - The desire to be valuable (deteriorates into chasing after success).
Type 5 - The desire to be competent (deteriorates into useless specialization).
Type 8 - The desire to protect oneself (deteriorates into constant fighting).



Lost Childhood Messages:

Type 3 - "You are loved for yourself."
Type 5 - "Your needs are not a problem."
Type 8 - "You will not be betrayed."
Type 9 - "Your presence matters."


Unconscious Childhood Messages:
Type 1 - Value-judging, condemning yourself and others.
Type 2 - Giving your value away to others.
Type 3 - Trying to be other than you authentically are. 
Type 4 - Making negative comparisons.
Type 5 - Over interpreting your experience.
Type 7 - Anticipating what you are going to do next.
Type 8 - Trying to force or control your life.
Type 9 - Resisting being affected by your experiences.
_
Holy, I'm affected by nearly all of them =.=


The weird thing is, my tritype is 594 or 592...


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## mushr00m

Unconscious Childhood Messages:
*Type 1 - "It's not okay to make mistakes."*
*Type 2 - "It's not okay to have your own needs.*" - Somtimes and more often than not, like not feel like you even deserve anything from anyone. Sp influence here.
Type 3 - "It's not okay to have your own feelings and identity."
*Type 4 - "It's not okay to be too functional or too happy."* - Happens a lot, cannot see myself as competant but make up for it in other ways.
*Type 5 - "It's not okay to be comfortable in the world."*
*Type 6 - "It's not okay to trust yourself."* - It depends.
*Type 7 - "It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything."*
*Type 8 - "It's not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone."*
Type 9 - "It's not okay to assert yourself."
Even these messages swing to the opposite. Not necessarily consistant because im too changeable in some respects. 

Basic Fears:
*Type 1 - Fear of being bad, corrupt, evil, or defective.*
*Type 2 - Fear of being unworthy or unloved.*
*Type 3 - Fear of being worthless or without inherent value.
Type 4 - Fear of being without identity or personal significance.
Type 5 - Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent.
Type 6 - Fear of being without support or guidance.
Type 7 - Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain.
Type 8 - Fear of being harmed or controlled by others.*
Type 9 - Fear of loss of connection, of fragmentation.
Most of these I perpetually go through.


Basic Desires and their Distortions:
*Type 1 - The desire to have integrity (deteriorates into critical perfection).*
Type 2 - The desire to be loved (deteriorates into the need to be needed).
*Type 3 - The desire to be valuable (deteriorates into chasing after success).
Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence).*
*Type 5 - The desire to be competent (deteriorates into useless specialization).*
*Type 6 - The desire to be secure (deteriorates into attachment to beliefs).*
Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism).
*Type 8 - The desire to protect oneself (deteriorates into constant fighting).*
*Type 9 - The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness).
*Once again, I relate to them all nearly equally.

Lost Childhood Messages:
Type 1 - "You are good."
Type 2 - "You are wanted."
*Type 3 - "You are loved for yourself."*
Type 4 - "You are seen for who you are."
*Type 5 - "Your needs are not a problem."*
*Type 6 - "You are safe."*
*Type 7 - "You will be taken care of."*
*Type 8 - "You will not be betrayed."*
*Type 9 - "Your presence matters."*

Spiritual Jump Start (patterns to be aware of):
Unconscious Childhood Messages:
*Type 1 - Value-judging, condemning yourself and others.*
Type 2 - Giving your value away to others.
Type 3 - Trying to be other than you authentically are. 
*Type 4 - Making negative comparisons.*
*Type 5 - Over interpreting your experience.*
*Type 6 - Becoming dependent on something outside yourself for support.* - Yes but dependency is a bit of a strong word.
*Type 7 - Anticipating what you are going to do next.* - To some degree but more than usual.
Type 8 - Trying to force or control your life. - I have so many problems here, I feel like I have no control over my life, I feel like everything is happening to me as if I were watching a film.
Type 9 - Resisting being affected by your experiences.


----------



## cosmia

Unconscious Childhood Messages:
1. Type 6 - "It's not okay to trust yourself." Was endlessly questioned by my parents. What if X, what if Y. Could rarely say anything without this, so eventually I learned to do it myself first. 
2. Type 9 - "It's not okay to assert yourself." More like, it's not necessary. Overbearing mom. So I never exactly learned how to assert myself.
3. Type 4 - "It's not okay to be too functional or too happy." Don't know where this came from.

Basic Fears:
1. Type 4 - Fear of being without identity or personal significance. Life is all about identity. If I don't have my own personal identity, there is no point for me to be here. It's important for me to have my own meaningful story.
2. Type 6 - Fear of being without support or guidance. Have never really trusted my instincts, so I need something to help me to act in the "correct" way.
3. Type 7 - Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain. 'Deprived' - I hate feeling like I'm behind or missing out. 'Trapped' is another word that strikes me as just... awful. I don't want to be trapped, ever.
4. Type 2 - Fear of being unworthy or unloved. Basic human fear.

Basic Desires and their Distortions:
1. Type 9 - The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness). While I'd like to be happy, I've realized that it is ultimately impossible, or at least in the way I perceive it. It's hard to be happy, consistently. It is better to be content, at peace, fully present in whatever you're doing. Open to emotions, but not ruled by them.
2. Type 6 - The desire to be secure (deteriorates into attachment to beliefs). Kind of synonymous with my definition of 'at peace.'
3. Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism). I still seek out happy moments.
4. Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence). I always feel ill after acting in a way I'd interpret as 'fake.' 

Lost Childhood Messages:
1. Type 6 - "You are safe." <3 Reminds me of my favorite postsecret that says something along the lines of, 'I never want you to feel lost again.'
2. Type 9 - "Your presence matters." I feel like I never really make an impact, and I feel that people are largely neutral toward me, so knowing that my presence matters would really mean a lot.
3. Type 3 - "You are loved for yourself."
4. Type 2 - "You are wanted."

Spiritual Jump Start (patterns to be aware of):
1. Type 4 - Making negative comparisons. From insecurity. If I'm insecure about something, I start to become aware of that something in others, and so comparisons.
2. Type 5 - Over interpreting your experience. I def. overthink. Have a lot of trouble living in the moment.
3. Type 9 - Resisting being affected by your experiences. With otherthinking, comes disconnection.
4. Type 7 - Anticipating what you are going to do next. I'm all about the future.

Summary - 
First slot, 5 pts. Second, 4. Third, 2. Fourth, 1. 

Type 6 - 18 pts
Type 9 - 15 pts
Type 4 - 13 pts
Type 7 - 5 pts
Type 5 - 4 pts
Type 2 - 2 pts
Type 3 - 2 pts


----------



## Sonny

A) Unconscious Childhood Messages:

Type 9 - "It's not okay to assert yourself."
Type 8 - "It's not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone."
Type 7 - "It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything."

These all tie into the same message in my mind, or at least stem from the same place and cause one outcome: I couldn't be myself, I couldn't trust other people to know who I was as that wasn't acceptable so I had to remain quietly defensive and take care of my own needs, defiance was not okay, it had to be silent. I couldn't be vulnerable or I would be rejected, so as much as I do trust people's good intentions I couldn't trust they would accept me.

B) What scares you the most? 
Basic Fears:

Type 9 - Fear of loss of connection, of fragmentation.
Type 3 - Fear of being worthless or without inherent value.
Type 2 - Fear of being unworthy or unloved.
Type 8 - Fear of being harmed or controlled by others.

Loss of connection is a hugely motivating fear, however it is something I wasn't fully conscious of, being worthless or unloved stem off that one as if I am those things then I will no longer be connected as I have no value. Being controlled is a separate fear and very strong, not too sure where that comes from, it's just been there for as long as I can remember, maybe it comes from wanting to be myself yet being unable to, so accepting I would show others what they wanted to see but I would never actually be it, I would remain in control of myself at all costs or I wouldn't exist.

C) Same as A, what do you want most?
Basic Desires and their Distortions:

Type 9 - The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness).
Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism).
Type 3 - The desire to be valuable (deteriorates into chasing after success).
Type 2 - The desire to be loved (deteriorates into the need to be needed).

I also relate to a desire to be loved, however it doesn't deteriorate into the need to be needed. The desire for peace, happiness and value are all pretty strong, neglectful escapism is where I deteriorate to, chasing after success isn't always about deteriorating for me, when it is it's because I'm neglectfully escaping something else and distracting myself with some impressive goal.

D) Same as A, What do you most want to hear as an affirmation (edit: backed up by action)?
Lost Childhood Messages:

Type 2 - "You are wanted."
Type 9 - "Your presence matters."
Type 3 - "You are loved for yourself."
Type 5 - "Your needs are not a problem."
Type 8 - "You will not be betrayed."

The first 4 speak of being valued as it's something I struggle to find within myself, it's something I doubt. Being So dom is probably also expressed here. Not being betrayed is also related, that if I show someone who I am they will still want me and love me.

E) Which of the following do you think that you do most of?
Spiritual Jump Start (patterns to be aware of):

Type 9 - Resisting being affected by your experiences.
Type 5 - Over interpreting your experience.

In a way resisting being affected and over interpreting can be contradictory for me, the former needs to ignore, the latter disconnects to intellectually understand, when there is emotional stress I will initially ignore the reality of what is happening, then I will seek that within myself, this does not imply any action would be taken, I can still be ignoring reality whilst attempting to understand it.



Jiktin said:


> Reason: Trying to determine how effectively one can gauge their own types from this, given that the phrases can be interpreted in different ways.


I had to remove the types from the descriptions before I did this as it was influencing me to read deeper into things and relate to too many. Otherwise I think the childhood messages are a great tool to be used when typing oneself, like any other tool it won't tell you who you are, it will simply assist self discovery.


----------



## Choice

Sonny said:


> I had to remove the types from the descriptions before I did this as it was influencing me to read deeper into things and relate to too many. Otherwise I think the childhood messages are a great tool to be used when typing oneself, like any other tool it won't tell you who you are, it will simply assist self discovery.


O gosh, that's a really good point.


----------



## Verthani

A) I tend to think of myself as a 153 tritype, but I score very highly on 8 and relate to parts of it, so it doesn't surprise me that I relate to it as well. I always felt like I had to be strong for everyone else and my feelings were unimportant. No mistakes and no feelings, act like a little adult.

Unconscious Childhood Messages:
Type 1 - "It's not okay to make mistakes."
Type 3 - "It's not okay to have your own feelings and identity."
Type 8 - "It's not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone."

B) I'm always worried about being a good person and being competent. 

Basic Fears:
Type 1 - Fear of being bad, corrupt, evil, or defective.
Type 3 - Fear of being worthless or without inherent value.
Type 5 - Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent.

C) what do you want most?
Basic Desires and their Distortions:
Type 1 - The desire to have integrity (deteriorates into critical perfection).
Type 5 - The desire to be competent (deteriorates into useless specialization).
Type 8 - The desire to protect oneself (deteriorates into constant fighting).


D) What do you most want to hear as an affirmation (edit: backed up by action)?

Lost Childhood Messages:
Type 1 - "You are good."
Type 3 - "You are loved for yourself."
Type 5 - "Your needs are not a problem."
Type 8 - "You will not be betrayed."

E) Which of the following do you think that you do most of?

Spiritual Jump Start (patterns to be aware of):
Unconscious Childhood Messages:
Type 1 - Value-judging, condemning yourself and others.
Type 5 - Over interpreting your experience.
Type 8 - Trying to force or control your life.


----------



## Entropic

A) Pick the few you relate to most, and Rank them from most to least, with a brief explanation if you're generous.

Type 5 - "It's not okay to be comfortable in the world."
Type 4 - "It's not okay to be too functional or too happy."
Type 8 - "It's not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone."
Type 7 - "It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything."
Type 6 - "It's not okay to trust yourself."

I'm currently at an impasse between core 4 and 5, but I am leaning towards 5 for now. The way I rationalize here is that to me being comfortable is the same as knowing. I can't deal with a world I don't know or understand. It's slightly tied with 4 though. I am also uncertain between 7 and 8, but the logic is something I do recognize but less so. Lastly I feel that 6 applies because I often second-doubt myself and distrust myself, but I don't experience it as such a big issue as the rest. 


B) Same as A, what scares you the most?

Basic Fears:
Type 5 - Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent.
Type 9 - Fear of loss of connection, of fragmentation. 
Type 8 - Fear of being harmed or controlled by others.
Type 6 - Fear of being without support or guidance.

I actually removed 4, how weird. Anyway, I don't fear not being significant - I actually think I'm a rather insignificant person. I do however experience the fear of 5 very strongly. Whenever I feel useless and incompetent it's like I'm trapped and I need to get out somehow but I can't so I do the opposite - I withdraw. I would say 9 does describe me fairly well. I was considering 1 for a second but I don't quite experience it. 8 and 6 describe me to a lesser degree I think. I don't like being controlled, I am the one who has to be in control, but at the same time I can also sometimes have a strong desire to check with other people who might know better than I if the results are for example acceptable or not. 

C) Same as A, what do you want most?

Basic Desires and their Distortions:
Type 5 - The desire to be competent (deteriorates into useless specialization).
Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence).
Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism).
Type 1 - The desire to have integrity (deteriorates into critical perfection).

I think this order seems about right. I can't grade if 4 or 5 comes first but I do think the term useless specialization kind of describes me sigh. There are a lot of things I specialize in that seems to have little bearing on the external world. My entire academic career being the perfect example. Now I struggle to make that connection so I can get a decent job with a decent salary that I actually enjoy doing. 

I guess I can also be a little self-indulgent but I don't think it defines me to that degree. I also have a desire to be happy and it seems to be tied with 6 (to be secure), as I part think that happiness is security, at least financially. Once I feel secure I can go on to finally actualize my ideas in order to achieve self-fulfillment. 

Here I do think 1 describes me - I desire integrity and I can be very critical of others if it doesn't adhere to my own personal standards. I never saw that as perfectionism though. 

D) Same as A, What do you most want to hear as an affirmation (edit: backed up by action)?

Lost Childhood Messages:
Type 4 - "You are seen for who you are."
Type 5 - "Your needs are not a problem."
Type 8 - "You will not be betrayed."
Type 9 - "Your presence matters."

I do think 4 comes out before here, but I am not sure. 8 and 9 are very strong here. I definitely want my presence to matter, especially in a way that makes me feel competent and useful. I did something good and I was considering 1 for a moment but I removed it because I don't feel that the praise is that important. At least it tends to go into one ear and out another for most of the part. 

I also don't want to be betrayed. That's a long story so I won't elaborate here. 

E) Which of the following do you think that you do most of?

Spiritual Jump Start (patterns to be aware of):
Unconscious Childhood Messages:
Type 5 - Over interpreting your experience.
Type 9 - Resisting being affected by your experiences.
Type 1 - Value-judging, condemning yourself and others.
Type 8 - Trying to force or control your life.

I think is about right. I can't say how much I constantly overanalzye my own experiences. I can go through a certain event that happened in my head over and over in order to try and find an explanation. I don't feel 4 describes me that much except maybe aligned with 1. 8 also describes me ok-ish but not that strongly. I do desire control of my life and I will force it if necessary, though.


----------



## Jewl

Cool thread. ^_^ Here we go!  

*Unconscious Childhood Messages:
*
Type 6 - "It's not okay to trust yourself."
Type 7 - "It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything."

I do know from the very beginning I liked being held by strong people who made me feel safe. My parents have this story where when I was just born, my mom tried to hold me but her arms were shaking. I cried a lot and was super upset with that, so she handed me over to my dad. His arms were strong and he wasn't shaking, and I stopped crying. Could just be an interesting story, but it's fun to think about. ^_^ 

And I think it might (?) also have been drilled in my head, "Find truth," but there wasn't much emphasis on _trust yourself _exactly. I think I was also encouraged to go find things myself, to investigate, to search for definitive truths. I don't know how much "trust" was emphasized, actually. 

I remember after a while, my parents would strongly encouraged me not to be helpless. Because I was the worried one. I was quite hesitant. But perhaps that contributed to the Seven influence?  Eh, I dunno. I do remember that when I had a fear (say, heights), wouldn't really comfort me. It was: Come on, Julia. You can do this. Face it. But I didn't really feel ready for that. 

So yeah, I definitely don't want to be seen as "helpless", it's kind of been driven into my head. 

So now there's two seemingly opposite influences: Don't trust yourself, but don't depend on others either. Which is probably a contributing factor to my lovely low self-confidence. 

*Basic Fears:

*Type 1 - Fear of being bad, corrupt, evil, or defective.
Type 2 - Fear of being unworthy or unloved.
*Type 6 - Fear of being without support or guidance.*

I'm not 100% sure where these fears even come from, to be honest. 

I kept the One in there because although "small" in comparison to some worries, I do have this underlying fear of being just _wrong _or evil or what have you, although usually this feeling is tied in with a want to have worth. I would hate to be worthless to others, or just plain old worthless. Maybe because everybody around me when I was little looked so good in many ways, and I noticed how other people treated them because they were good. Or maybe something else entirely. ^_^

Usually I totally relate to type Nine to the point of doubt that I'm a Six, but I don't really know what "fear of loss of connection" and all that means. 

The Six fear is so there. I don't know if I remember a time without that little nagging feeling. I phrased this fear like this on another thread, and I think it spells it out quite well: 



> Everything I thought to be true and everything I trusted is becoming completely undone. No more "safe", nothing to rely on, nobody and nothing, not even myself. The scariest nightmares I have ever had always have to do with taking something that I _know I can trust and having that suddenly betray me.
> 
> It is the feeling of knowing you cannot trust anything, and even while you still have yourself you are totally helpless.
> 
> To me, that is the scariest thing._


My huge fear of heights also perfectly accents this. I have always, always feared heights. More so than a _lot _of people I know who say that they're scared of heights. It has taken so long to be able to be able to walk without hugging the walls on the second story of shopping malls. Lol. ^_^ I don't like being on airplanes, either, because I feel so unsupported. 

NEVER PUT ME ON A ROLLER COASTER. I have a couple horror stories about the few roller coasters I have been on. And I especially hate the metal roller coasters, because you don't have that "grounded" feeling you sort of at least get on the wooden ones, or so I've heard. I dislike feeling weightless like that. 

*Basic Desires and their Distortions:*

Type 2 - The desire to be loved (deteriorates into the need to be needed).
Type 6 - The desire to be secure (deteriorates into attachment to beliefs).
Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism).
Type 8 - The desire to protect oneself (deteriorates into constant fighting).
Type 9 - The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness).

The odd thing about the Two influence is that yes, I want to be loved, but mainly for the warm support that comes with it. I don't know if I feel like I must be needed, but I do like feeling wanted. I know the Eight influence looks totally out of place, but strangely enough I somehow relate to it. Mind you, I greatly dislike "constant fighting", but I do wish I could protect myself (Six, probably). I don't exactly understand _how _a lot of the time. Everything else is probably self-explanatory (always felt connection to 6 and 9). ^_^

*Lost Childhood Messages:
*
*Type 6 - "You are safe."*
Type 7 - "You will be taken care of."
Type 8 - "You will not be betrayed."
Type 9 - "Your presence matters."

Truthfully, the Seven and Eight influences there seem to stem from Six: "You are safe." That's all I ever need hear. My parents never told me that I was safe. They told me other comforting things, but not that I was safe. I remember my mom telling me that lots of things in life aren't safe, but I shouldn't therefore live my entire life in fear. That did make me feel a little better, but sometimes I wish that I heard more often, "You are safe here." There was also that "do not be helpless" impression still there, so perhaps there was a nagging doubt that I would be given help. 

I chose Eight because I greatly dislike betrayal. I never want the things I come to trust, finally, to betray me. But yes, I think that is more of a Six influence than anything else. 

Yes, I dreadfully wish to hear that I _matter _to the world. 

*Unconscious Childhood Messages:*

Type 6 - Becoming dependent on something outside yourself for support.
Type 7 - Anticipating what you are going to do next.

I think I already explained why I felt the need to not be dependent. My parents were organized and it seemed like my mom especially always had some sort of plan. Often she still asks me, "What will you do now?" Sometimes this frustrates me. I don't know if that really contributed to that Seven influence, though.


----------



## Sina

@Almost

There's a broken link in the OP. Post the correct one; and I'll go through it, and answer questions. Thanks.


----------



## Curiously

A) Top two:
Type 7 - "It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything." - I don't like feeling or being indebted to anyone, and I have an ingrained belief that depending on someone outside of myself is unwise and eventually useless, so why bother depending on anyone else outside of myself for anything?

Type 8 - "It's not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone." - Somewhat tied to what I wrote above, but to further: People eventually let you down and/or are fickle, so I don't ever want to let down my guard so much that I am crushed. I will trust myself, first and foremost and forever; look inward, not outward, for true strength and protection.

B) In order, from most to least:
Type 5 - Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent.
Type 9 - Fear of loss of connection, of fragmentation.
Type 7 - Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain.
Type 8 - Fear of being harmed or controlled by others.

C) All resonate with me:
Type 2 - The desire to be loved (deteriorates into the need to be needed).
Type 3 - The desire to be valuable (deteriorates into chasing after success).
Type 5 - The desire to be competent (deteriorates into useless specialization).
Type 6 - The desire to be secure (deteriorates into attachment to beliefs).
Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism).

D) From most to least:
Type 5 - "Your needs are not a problem."
Type 4 - "You are seen for who you are."
Type 8 - "You will not be betrayed."
Type 9 - "Your presence matters."

E) 
TIED: Type 4 - Making negative comparisons. & Type 5 - Over interpreting your experience.

TIED: Type 6 - Becoming dependent on something outside yourself for support. & Type 7 - Anticipating what you are going to do next.


----------



## Choice

Boss said:


> @_Almost_
> 
> There's a broken link in the OP. Post the correct one; and I'll go through it, and answer questions. Thanks.


OH sh- I went through my bookmarks. Can't find. but http://personalitycafe.com/head-tri...ing-preference-case-tritypes.html#post2961464 has got the entire thing. Some of the other 7 stuff I barely relate to at all


----------



## Wormwood

*Unconscious Childhood Messages:

Type 5 - "It's not okay to be comfortable in the world."* While this one doesn't elicit any strong emotional reactions in me, I recognise that it's had the most impact on my life thus far. It's probably because (if I'm going to be honest with myself) I'm still a child. I didn't realise any of this until recently. I just don't understand the world.

*Type 7 - "It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything." *Not much to explain really; I hate to come out and ask for help. I feel like I should be able to survive alone.
*
Type 4 - "It's not okay to be too functional or too happy." *Hence, I associate myself with demons. Whenever I wasn't completely reserved, I was pretty melodramatic.

*Basic Fears: 

Type 5 - Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent. *Self-explanatory; I stake my identity in whether or not I'm capable, and it scares the shit out of me when I find that I'm not.

*Type 4 - Fear of being without identity or personal significance. *I want, badly, to matter.

*Type 8 - Fear of being harmed or controlled by others. *This is an StPD (I don't believe I am schizotypal) thing, and I've always been an unhealthy 5. It shouldn't be surprising that someone so stressed over a prolonged period, mainly due to public school, should exhibit this characteristic.
*
Basic Desires and their Distortions: 

Type 5 - The desire to be competent (deteriorates into useless specialization). *Covered that. The underlined is part of the reason I'm here.

*Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism). *Everyone desires to be happy; I relate to the frenetic escapism. As an unhealthy 5, I share that trait with 7.

*Type 9 - The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness). *I've been in a battle with school for a while now, and my need for a more challenging curriculum, plus the sudden removal of my strict borderline mother from my life (in other words, the metal framework that kept me from growing my own skeleton), left me completely immobile. I refuse to spend my time or energy (5) on something that gives me nothing back, but further, I want to actually be a presence and for someone to listen to my concerns (9), and until someone does that, I refuse to move.
*
Lost Childhood Messages: 

Type 3 - "You are loved for yourself." *Ouch.
*
Type 5 - "Your needs are not a problem." *Just got done talking about that, didn't I?

*Type 9 - "Your presence matters." *^

*Unconscious Childhood Messages:*

*Type 4 - Making negative comparisons. *I just gone done comparing myself to an invertebrate demon.

*Type 5 - Over interpreting your experience. *Absolutely everything had a hidden meaning.

*Type 1 - Value-judging, condemning yourself and others. *I just got done comparing myself to an invertebrate demon.


----------



## WOLFsanctuary

*Unconscious*- Type 5 - "It's not okay to be comfortable in the world." 
 Type 1 - "It's not okay to make mistakes."

*Basic Fear*- Type 7 - Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain. 
 Type 1 - Fear of being bad, corrupt, evil, or defective.

*Basic Desire- Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence).*

*Lost Childhood Message*- Type 1 - "You are good."
 Type 3 - "You are loved for yourself."

*Spiritual Jump Start-* Type 8 - Trying to force or control your life.
Type 1 - Value-judging, condemning yourself and others.

It's funny how Type 1 messages are in almost ALL of my responses. 

Type 1 is listed as the integration for a Type 4. How IRONIC?

By 4w3 SX/SP


----------



## Sina

A) Pick the few you relate to most, and Rank them from most to least, with a brief explanation if you're generous.

Unconscious Childhood Messages:
Type 1 - "It's not okay to make mistakes."

[got this from my "perfectionist" mother.]

Type 2 - "It's not okay to have your own needs."

[not in the Type 2 sense, more like my mentally ill mother thought that her needs were the only ones that mattered. not that i cared but i got this message from her often, and it was ignored as often as she expressed it--indirectly of course] 

Type 3 - "It's not okay to have your own feelings and identity."

[yeah, i got this message as well]

Type 7 - "It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything."

[well, more like there was no scope for expecting nurturance after my father died. he was my nurturing figure. my mother was emotionally unavailable and abusive. i just felt so utterly deprived after his passing. plus, i experienced poverty and so on --RH talk about this. lol it was funny to read-- and i felt like i just wanted to get all the good things in life to fill that nurturance gap.] 

Type 8 - "It's not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone."
[i didn't get the message that it wasn't ok to trust anyone. trust wasn't something i paid attention to. i got the message that emotional vulnerability left a person exposed to abuse. crying caused my mother to go nuts and start hitting me, for example. i fought back; i experienced life as a war. *i hated having a heart.* i was angry that i was human enough to feel pain, grief and sadness. i learnt not to show 'weakness'/emotional pain/soft emotions in general.]

B) Same as A, what scares you the most?

Basic Fears:
Type 1 - Fear of being bad, corrupt, evil, or defective.
Type 2 - Fear of being unworthy or unloved.*
Type 3 - Fear of being worthless or without inherent value.*
*Type 4* -* Fear of being without* identity or *personal significance.*
Type 5 - *Fear of being* *seen as *useless, incapable, or* incompetent.*
Type 6 - Fear of being without support or guidance.
*Type 7 - Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain.*
*Type 8 - Fear of being harmed [emotionally hurt, abused, deprived of food, enjoyment, admiration, value] *or controlled by others.
Type 9 - Fear of loss of connection, of fragmentation.
*
In order of importance: 7, 3+4 tie, competence part of 5 which is common to competence triaders, 8.*

C) Same as A, what do you want most?

Basic Desires and their Distortions:
Type 1 - The desire to have integrity (deteriorates into critical perfection).
Type 2 - The desire to be loved (deteriorates into the need to be needed).*
Type 3 - The desire to be valuable (deteriorates into chasing after success).*
Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence).
*Type 5 - The desire to be competent (deteriorates into useless specialization).*
Type 6 - The desire to be secure (deteriorates into attachment to beliefs).
*Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism).
Type 8 - The desire to protect oneself [from emotional harm and deprivation].*
*Type 9 - The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness).*


D) Same as A, What do you most want to hear as an affirmation (edit: backed up by action)?

Lost Childhood Messages:
Type 1 - "You are good."
Type 2 - "You are wanted."*
Type 3 - "You are loved for yourself."* for me, it's *"You're the absolute best. There's no other competitor in sight with you on top. lol"*
Type 4 - "You are seen for who you are."
Type 5 - "Your needs are not a problem."
Type 6 - "You are safe."
Type 7 - "You will be taken care of."
Type 8 - "You will not be betrayed."
Type 9 - "Your presence matters."

E) Which of the following do you think that you do most of?

Spiritual Jump Start (patterns to be aware of):
Unconscious Childhood Messages:
Type 1 - Value-judging, condemning yourself and others.
Type 2 - Giving your value away to others.*
Type 3 - Trying to be other than you authentically are. *
Type 4 - Making negative comparisons.
Type 5 - Over interpreting your experience.
Type 6 - Becoming dependent on something outside yourself for support.
*Type 7 - Anticipating what you are going to do next.*
*Type 8 - Trying to force or control your life.
Type 9 - Resisting being affected by your experiences.*

This is in the order highlighted from 3 to 9.
--
*How well does this communicate the concepts** in your opinion?*
Marginally well. 

Reason: Trying to determine how effectively one can gauge their own types from this, given that the phrases can be interpreted in different ways. 

Well, it's not possible to accurately Type by 1 sentence descriptors. It's good as a starting point from discussion, but by itself these one-liners are not at all sufficient from gauging core type


----------



## DomNapoleon

*A) Pick the few you relate to most, and Rank them from most to least, with a brief explanation if you're generous.
*
*Unconscious Childhood Messages:*
1) Type 4 - "It's not okay to be too functional or too happy."
2) Type 1 - "It's not okay to make mistakes."
3) Type 2 - "It's not okay to have your own needs."
4) Type 5 - "It's not okay to be comfortable in the world."


*B) Same as A, what scares you the most?
*
*Basic Fears:*
1) Type 7 - Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain.
2) Type 4 - Fear of being without identity or personal significance. / Type 2 - Fear of being unworthy or unloved. 
3) Type 9 - Fear of loss of connection, of fragmentation. 
4) Type 5 - Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent.
5) Type 8 - Fear of being harmed or controlled by others.


*C) Same as A, what do you want most?*

*Basic Desires and their Distortions:*
1) Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence). / Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism).
2) Type 6 - The desire to be secure (deteriorates into attachment to beliefs).
3) Type 8 - The desire to protect oneself (deteriorates into constant fighting).
4) Type 9 - The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness).


*D) Same as A, What do you most want to hear as an affirmation (edit: backed up by action)?
*
*Lost Childhood Messages:*
1) Type 3 - "You are loved for yourself." / Type 2 - "You are wanted."
2) Type 6 - "You are safe." / Type 7 -"You will be taken care of."
3) Type 1 - "You are good."



*E) Which of the following do you think that you do most of?*

*Unconscious Childhood Messages:*
Type 4 - Making negative comparisons.
Type 5 - Over interpreting your experience.
Type 7 - Anticipating what you are going to do next.


----------



## Katerina

A)Unconscious Childhood Messages:

1. Type 4 - "It's not okay to be too functional or too happy."
2. Type 2 - "It's not okay to have your own needs."
3. Type 5 - "It's not okay to be comfortable in the world."

B)what scares you the most?

1. Type 2 - Fear of being unworthy or unloved
2. Type 7 - Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain.
3. Type 6 - Fear of being without support or guidance

C)what do you want most?

1. Type 2 - The desire to be loved (deteriorates into the need to be needed).
2. Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism).
3. Type 9 - The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness).

D) What do you most want to hear as an affirmation?

1. Type 2 - "You are wanted."
2. Type 1 - "You are good."
3. Type 6 - "You are safe."

E) Which of the following do you think that you do most of?

1. Type 7 - Anticipating what you are going to do next.
2. Type 8 - Trying to force or control your life.
3. Type 1 - Value-judging, condemning yourself and others.

Hm... I don't see any pattern.. It's all over. Although generally it feels type two. Type 4 which I supposedly am came up only once.


----------



## erdbeere

*A) Unconscious Childhood Messages:
*
Type 9 - "It's not okay to assert yourself."
Type 6 - "It's not okay to trust yourself."
Type 1 - "It's not okay to make mistakes."


*B) Basic Fears:
*
Type 4 - Fear of being without identity or personal significance.
Type 3 - Fear of being worthless or without inherent value.
Type 9 - Fear of loss of connection, of fragmentation.


*C) Basic Desires and their Distortions:
*
Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence)
Type 9 - The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness).
Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism).


*D) Lost Childhood Messages:
*
Type 9 - "Your presence matters."
Type 3 - "You are loved for yourself."
Type 8 - "You will not be betrayed."


*E) Unconscious Childhood Messages:
*
Type 9 - Resisting being affected by your experiences.
Type 3 - Trying to be other than you 
Type 4 - Making negative comparisons.


----------



## Random Ness

Unconscious Childhood Messages:
Type 3 - "It's not okay to have your own feelings and identity."
Type 4 - "It's not okay to be too functional or too happy."
Type 6 - "It's not okay to trust yourself."

Basic Fears:
Type 1 - Fear of being bad, corrupt, evil, or defective.
Type 6 - Fear of being without support or guidance.
Type 7 - Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain.

Basic Desires and their Distortions:
Type 1 - The desire to have integrity (deteriorates into critical perfection).
Type 5 - The desire to be competent (deteriorates into useless specialization).
Type 6 - The desire to be secure (deteriorates into attachment to beliefs).

Lost Childhood Messages:
Type 4 - "You are seen for who you are."
Type 5 - "Your needs are not a problem."
Type 6 - "You are safe."

Unconscious Childhood Messages:
Type 1 - Value-judging, condemning yourself and others.
Type 4 - Making negative comparisons.
Type 6 - Becoming dependent on something outside yourself for support.

1 - lll
2 - 
3 - l
4 - lll
5 - ll
6 - lllll
7 - l
8 - 
9 - 

No surprise that I relate to the e6 ones. My mother's e1, and my father's e5, so no surprise there, either. I _am_ surprised that I didn't line up to any from type 2, since it's in my tritype, and that I line up with a few from e4, which is the enneatype I have the most trouble understanding.


----------



## itsme45

Unconscious Childhood Messages:
Type 7 - "It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything."
Type 8 - "It's not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone."


Basic Fears:
Type 3 - Fear of being worthless or without inherent value.
Type 4 - Fear of being without identity or personal significance.
Type 5 - Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent.


Basic Desires and their Distortions:
Type 2 - The desire to be loved (deteriorates into the need to be needed).
Type 5 - The desire to be competent (deteriorates into useless specialization).
Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism).
Type 8 - The desire to protect oneself (deteriorates into constant fighting).


Lost Childhood Messages:
Type 2 - "You are wanted."
Type 8 - "You will not be betrayed."
Type 9 - "Your presence matters."


Unconscious Childhood Messages:
Type 4 - Making negative comparisons.
Type 7 - Anticipating what you are going to do next.
Type 8 - Trying to force or control your life.




> *How well does this communicate the concepts** in your opinion?*
> 
> Reason: Trying to determine how effectively one can gauge their own types from this, given that the phrases can be interpreted in different ways.


I didn't have time to read the thread yet but my question is; Are we even much aware of these unconscious messages and fears?

I'm not quite sure which of the ones I chose are actually valid as such messages and whatnot. To pick, I just went by what I sometimes notice myself doing/feeling/thinking.


----------



## Pelopra

A) Pick the few you relate to most, and Rank them from most to least, with a brief explanation if you're generous.

Issue #1: The ambiguity of the word "okay". 
Issue #2: Labeling as childhood messages-- rather, some of these things i have difficulty recognizing that i believe, because I was taught the opposite, so I resist saying "it's not okay". But deep down, I appear to believe that.

Unconscious Childhood Messages:
Type 1 - "It's not okay to make mistakes." 
Type 2 - "It's not okay to have your own needs."
Type 3 - "It's not okay to have your own feelings and identity."
Type 4 - "It's not okay to be too functional or too happy."
Type 5 - "It's not okay to be comfortable in the world."
Type 6 - "It's not okay to trust yourself." -- this where you really see the ambiguity of the word "okay". i do not think that you shouldn't trust yourself, I think you should i.e. a "good" person will know how to trust themselves appropriately. So it's not that it's not okay but rather that I _"can't"_. Thus, given this list of statements, I wouldn't necessarily have agreed with this one. ((Sometimes a lot of these statements would be greatly improved simply by changing the word "you" to "I". I know that it's a semantic difference, but it's significant anyway-- I realized this back when taking a test reerfectionism, and it was all "you" statements-- "it is unacceptable if you make a mistake" and I went through the entire test disagreeing with each one... and then I read though it again as "i" statements, "it is unacceptable if I make a mistake", which is when I realized I identified, on a deep irrational level, with almost all of them.
Type 7 - "It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything."
Type 8 - "It's not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone."
Type 9 - "It's not okay to assert yourself."

overall feeling: it's very hard to answer this one accurately. it requires being very in tune with subconscious voices. i do _not_ identify with many of these on a conscious level, i.e. I would probably actively dispute many of these, "what? of course it's okay to have needs".

B) Same as A, what scares you the most?

Basic Fears:
Type 1 - Fear of being bad, corrupt, evil, or defective. Y
Type 2 - Fear of being unworthy or unloved. Y
Type 3 - Fear of being worthless or without inherent value. Y
Type 4 - Fear of being without identity or personal significance. Y?
Type 5 - Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent. Y
Type 6 - Fear of being without support or guidance. No. And here we go again. The truth is, first of all, I don't think this is the best way of describing a six's fears. I've said this before-- support and guidance aren't the things a six wants. They're the things a six uses to get what it wants. The six is scared of something else, and it uses the support and guidance as a wall between it and that something. 
I don't fear losing support or guidance. I fear Bad Things Happening. And I fear that they will happen completely regardless of my amount of support or guidance, I can have as much support or guidance as possible and it won't be enough. 
Type 7 - Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain. Y
Type 8 - Fear of being harmed or controlled by others. Y?
Type 9 - Fear of loss of connection, of fragmentation. Huh?

C) Same as A, what do you want most?
response to desire, not distortion:
Basic Desires and their Distortions:
Type 1 - The desire to have integrity (deteriorates into critical perfection). Y
Type 2 - The desire to be loved (deteriorates into the need to be needed). Y
Type 3 - The desire to be valuable (deteriorates into chasing after success). Y
Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence). Y?
Type 5 - The desire to be competent (deteriorates into useless specialization). Y?
Type 6 - The desire to be secure (deteriorates into attachment to beliefs). haha here we go. 1. I wouldn't phrase it as the thing I want most or the thing I desire. I would never identify with it in this kind of list. The desires I am aware of and identify with are the desire to be a good person and the desire to be happy. My feelings towards -- not security, but rather "certainty, confidence, creating a feeling of being metaphysically 'safe'" isn't so much that I "want" it as that it's fundamentally missing in my life. I'm not sure I'd identify with that on a list, either.
Also, I feel the need to protest that six deterioration is attachment to beliefs. This might vary by the six, but i think letting go of the 1% doubt and agreeing to accept the 99% certainty is a healthy, integrative path for many sixes. Sixes fight very hard, too hard, against attaching themselves to a belief. 
Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism). Y
Type 8 - The desire to protect oneself (deteriorates into constant fighting). N...
Type 9 - The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness). Y
Y

D) Same as A, What do you most want to hear as an affirmation (edit: backed up by action)?

Lost Childhood Messages:
Type 1 - "You are good."
Type 2 - "You are wanted."
Type 3 - "You are loved for yourself."
Type 4 - "You are seen for who you are."
Type 5 - "Your needs are not a problem."
Type 6 - "You are safe." what i want, in theory, to hear is "it will be okay". i say in theory because my first response to the question "what do you most want to hear" (in general, the entire question, not just the six answer) is "haha who says what they're saying is true". and this is particularly true re "it will be okay". No it won't. You have zero way of telling me that and me knowing, with certainty, that it's true. even if you promise you will take care of me... maybe you'll die? or change your mind? something will screw it up. 
Type 7 - "You will be taken care of."
Type 8 - "You will not be betrayed."
Type 9 - "Your presence matters."

E) Which of the following do you think that you do most of?

Spiritual Jump Start (patterns to be aware of):
Unconscious Childhood Messages:
Type 1 - Value-judging, condemning yourself and others.
Type 2 - Giving your value away to others.
Type 3 - Trying to be other than you authentically are. 
Type 4 - Making negative comparisons. ----WTF??? This is the most insanely vague, general thing I've ever seen. Making negative comparisons of WHAT to WHAT?
Type 5 - Over interpreting your experience.
Type 6 - Becoming dependent on something outside yourself for support. i didn't realize i did this until a friend called me out on it. I also _don't_ do this, in the initial sense I would have reading this. what i mean is, i'm very independent, i take care of myself, i run my own life. if i pass out in the middle of the kitchen, _i_ pick myself up, _i s_tagger to the bathroom and throw up, _i _clean up the mess, _i_ lie down and rest to recover and don't mention what happened. I don't turn for support unless I really need it. _But_ what i will do is "canvass opinions". I look for intellectual, emotional support so i don't have to bear the burden of a decision by myself.
Type 7 - Anticipating what you are going to do next. i have no idea what this is supposed to mean
Type 8 - Trying to force or control your life. ---isn't this...... everyone?
Type 9 - Resisting being affected by your experiences.
--
*How well does this communicate the concepts** in your opinion?*

Reason: Trying to determine how effectively one can gauge their own types from this, given that the phrases can be interpreted in different ways


----------



## Coburn

nvmd.


----------



## Sixty Nein

I honestly hate how this is all phrased, it's all pithy childhood wankery.


----------



## Kisshoten

Surprised I didn't look this up sooner.

A) Pick the few you relate to most, and Rank them from most to least, with a brief explanation if you're generous.

Unconscious Childhood Messages:
*Type 1 - "It's not okay to make mistakes."*
Type 2 - "It's not okay to have your own needs."
Type 3 - "It's not okay to have your own feelings and identity."
Type 4 - "It's not okay to be too functional or too happy."
Type 5 - "It's not okay to be comfortable in the world."
Type 6 - "It's not okay to trust yourself."
*Type 7 - "It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything."
Type 8 - "It's not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone."
Type 9 - "It's not okay to assert yourself."*

B) Same as A, what scares you the most?

Basic Fears:
Type 1 - Fear of being bad, corrupt, evil, or defective.
Type 2 - Fear of being unworthy or unloved.
*Type 3 - Fear of being worthless or without inherent value.*
Type 4 - Fear of being without identity or personal significance.
*Type 5 - Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent.*
Type 6 - Fear of being without support or guidance.
*Type 7 - Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain.
Type 8 - Fear of being harmed or controlled by others.*
Type 9 - Fear of loss of connection, of fragmentation.

C) Same as A, what do you want most?

Basic Desires and their Distortions:
Type 1 - The desire to have integrity (deteriorates into critical perfection).
*Type 2 - The desire to be loved (deteriorates into the need to be needed).*
Type 3 - The desire to be valuable (deteriorates into chasing after success).
*Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence).*
*Type 5 - The desire to be competent (deteriorates into useless specialization).*
*Type 6 - The desire to be secure (deteriorates into attachment to beliefs).*
*Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism).*
*Type 8 - The desire to protect oneself (deteriorates into constant fighting).*
Type 9 - The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness).


D) Same as A, What do you most want to hear as an affirmation (edit: backed up by action)?

Lost Childhood Messages:
Type 1 - "You are good."
Type 2 - "You are wanted."
*Type 3 - "You are loved for yourself."*
Type 4 - "You are seen for who you are."
Type 5 - "Your needs are not a problem."
Type 6 - "You are safe."
*Type 7 - "You will be taken care of."
Type 8 - "You will not be betrayed."*
Type 9 - "Your presence matters."

E) Which of the following do you think that you do most of?

Spiritual Jump Start (patterns to be aware of):
Unconscious Childhood Messages:
*Type 1 - Value-judging, condemning yourself and others.*
Type 2 - Giving your value away to others.
Type 3 - Trying to be other than you authentically are. 
*Type 4 - Making negative comparisons.*
*Type 5 - Over interpreting your experience.*
Type 6 - Becoming dependent on something outside yourself for support.
*Type 7 - Anticipating what you are going to do next.*
Type 8 - Trying to force or control your life.
Type 9 - Resisting being affected by your experiences.


----------



## Chesire Tower

@Promethea or @Dear Sigmund, can this thread be stickied?


A) Pick the few you relate to most, and Rank them from most to least, with a brief explanation if you're generous.


Unconscious Childhood Messages:

Type 4 - "It's not okay to be too functional or too happy."
Type 2 - "It's not okay to have your own needs."
Type 9 - "It's not okay to assert yourself."
Type 5 - "It's not okay to be comfortable in the world."
Type 8 - "It's not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone."
Type 1 - "It's not okay to make mistakes."
Type 6 - "It's not okay to trust yourself."


B) Same as A, what scares you the most?

Basic Fears:

Type 5 - Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent.
Type 7 - Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain.
Type 4 - Fear of being without identity or personal significance.
Type 8 - Fear of being harmed or controlled by others.
Type 9 - Fear of loss of connection, of fragmentation.
Type 1 - Fear of being bad, corrupt, evil, or defective.
Type 6 - Fear of being without support or guidance.


C) Same as A, what do you want most?

Basic Desires and their Distortions:

Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence).
Type 5 - The desire to be competent (deteriorates into useless specialization).
Type 1 - The desire to have integrity (deteriorates into critical perfection).
Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism).
Type 8 - The desire to protect oneself (deteriorates into constant fighting).
Type 9 - The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness).
Type 2 - The desire to be loved (deteriorates into the need to be needed).
Type 3 - The desire to be valuable (deteriorates into chasing after success).
Type 6 - The desire to be secure (deteriorates into attachment to beliefs).


D) Same as A, What do you most want to hear as an affirmation (edit: backed up by action)?


Lost Childhood Messages:

Type 5 - "Your needs are not a problem."
Type 4 - "You are seen for who you are."
Type 3 - "You are loved for yourself."
Type 2 - "You are wanted."
Type 7 - "You will be taken care of."
Type 9 - "Your presence matters."


E) Which of the following do you think that you do most of?

Spiritual Jump Start (patterns to be aware of):
Unconscious Childhood Messages:

Type 5 - Over interpreting your experience.
Type 3 - Trying to be other than you authentically are. 
Type 9 - Resisting being affected by your experiences.
Type 2 - Giving your value away to others.
Type 6 - Becoming dependent on something outside yourself for support.
Type 4 - Making negative comparisons.


*How well does this communicate the concepts** in your opinion?*

Reason: Trying to determine how effectively one can gauge their own types from this, given that the phrases can be interpreted in different ways. 


*I will elaborate on this later.*


----------



## Aha

A) Pick the few you relate to most

Unconscious Childhood Messages:
*Type 8 - "It's not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone."
*It was like a mantra of my childhood. Not to trust strangers. They lie.
Type 7 - "It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything."
Type 1 - "It's not okay to make mistakes."
Type 9 - "It's not okay to assert yourself."
Type 2 - "It's not okay to have your own needs."
Type 5 - "It's not okay to be comfortable in the world."
Type 3 - "It's not okay to have your own feelings and identity."
Type 4 - "It's not okay to be too functional or too happy."
Type 6 - "It's not okay to trust yourself."

Others are irrelevant

B) Same as A, what scares you the most?

Basic Fears:
*Type 8 - Fear of being harmed or controlled by others.
*I don't understand why it is not the biggest fear of everyone
*Type 9 - Fear of loss of connection, of fragmentation.
*This one is important too
Type 4 - Fear of being without identity or personal significance.
Well...Not exactly a fear, because I will not be without identity
Type 2 - Fear of being unworthy or unloved.
Type 7 - Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain.
Type 3 - Fear of being worthless or without inherent value.
Type 1 - Fear of being bad, corrupt, evil, or defective.
Type 5 - Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent.
Type 6 - Fear of being without support or guidance.


C) Same as A, what do you want most?

Basic Desires and their Distortions:
*Type 8 - The desire to protect oneself (deteriorates into constant fighting).
*Well, I had a lot of fightings in my childhood. Probably more than any other kids in my neighborhood 
Type 1 - The desire to have integrity (deteriorates into critical perfection).
Integrity of mind is very important. 
You could say that I am also a perfectionist. From the aesthetic point of you. I am not a maniac.
Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism).
Happiness is very important for everyone
Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence).
Type 2 - The desire to be loved (deteriorates into the need to be needed).
Type 3 - The desire to be valuable (deteriorates into chasing after success).
Type 9 - The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness).
Type 5 - The desire to be competent (deteriorates into useless specialization).
Type 6 - The desire to be secure (deteriorates into attachment to beliefs).



D) Same as A, What do you most want to hear as an affirmation (edit: backed up by action)?

Lost Childhood Messages:
*Type 8 - "You will not be betrayed."
*This is the most important.
Type 9 - "Your presence matters."
Type 1 - "You are good."
Type 4 - "You are seen for who you are."
Type 2 - "You are wanted."
Type 3 - "You are loved for yourself."
Type 7 - "You will be taken care of."
Type 5 - "Your needs are not a problem."
Type 6 - "You are safe."



E) Which of the following do you think that you do most of?

Spiritual Jump Start (patterns to be aware of):
Unconscious Childhood Messages:

*Type 8 - Trying to force or control your life.
Type 7 - Anticipating what you are going to do next.
Type 9 - Resisting being affected by your experiences.
Type 5 - Over interpreting your experience.
*Those four are almost equal. Control-Options-Integrity-Analysis
Type 1 - Value-judging, condemning yourself and others.
Type 4 - Making negative comparisons.
Type 3 - Trying to be other than you authentically are. 
Type 2 - Giving your value away to others.
Type 6 - Becoming dependent on something outside yourself for support.


----------



## JessBunny

In an attempt for trying to find out more about myself (it interests me) and to find out about my type, here goes.

A) Pick the few you relate to most, and Rank them from most to least, with a brief explanation if you're generous.

Unconscious Childhood Messages:
Type 7 - "It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything."
Type 1 - "It's not okay to make mistakes."
Type 9 - "It's not okay to assert yourself."
Type 3 - "It's not okay to have your own feelings and identity."
Type 2 - "It's not okay to have your own needs."
Type 8 - "It's not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone."
Type 6 - "It's not okay to trust yourself."
Type 4 - "It's not okay to be too functional or too happy."
Type 5 - "It's not okay to be comfortable in the world."

Actually I still kind of think the 7 one now, I find myself thinking that "no one will be able to give you what you want/need, if you want it you gotta get it yourself".

B) Same as A, what scares you the most?

Basic Fears:
Type 7 - Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain.
Type 3 - Fear of being worthless or without inherent value.
Type 6 - Fear of being without support or guidance.
Type 4 - Fear of being without identity or personal significance.
Type 5 - Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent.
Type 2 - Fear of being unworthy or unloved.
Type 1 - Fear of being bad, corrupt, evil, or defective.
Type 8 - Fear of being harmed or controlled by others.
Type 9 - Fear of loss of connection, of fragmentation.

This was a really natural thing to me so I never noticed it before, but I find myself thinking that "How can that person actually survive with being that miserable about their life?" and "Life is boring, you study, work, get old and die. How can anyone stand their life without seeking things that interest them?"

C) Same as A, what do you want most?

Basic Desires and their Distortions:
Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism).
Type 3 - The desire to be valuable (deteriorates into chasing after success).
Type 9 - The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness).
Type 6 - The desire to be secure (deteriorates into attachment to beliefs).
Type 1 - The desire to have integrity (deteriorates into critical perfection).
Type 5 - The desire to be competent (deteriorates into useless specialization).
Type 8 - The desire to protect oneself (deteriorates into constant fighting).
Type 2 - The desire to be loved (deteriorates into the need to be needed).
Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence).

Same as above, if I start feeling that my life and future is nothing but despair, I get horribly depressed about it and wonder how I'm going to survive. Sometimes I get suicidal thoughts that if that's how life is gonna be, I might as well die than go through it. Also, I'm having trouble relating to the 2 and 4 ones, perhaps it's a 7ish narcissism that makes me go "I don't need your appreciation to feel loved! I know I'm special and I love myself for it!"

D) Same as A, What do you most want to hear as an affirmation (edit: backed up by action)?

Lost Childhood Messages:
Type 7 - "You will be taken care of."
Type 9 - "Your presence matters."
Type 8 - "You will not be betrayed."
Type 3 - "You are loved for yourself."
Type 2 - "You are wanted."
Type 6 - "You are safe."
Type 1 - "You are good."
Type 5 - "Your needs are not a problem."
Type 4 - "You are seen for who you are."

I'm not really sure about this one... but when I saw the type 7 one I felt that it was very warm and something that I might really wish I had... come to think of it I like people with an aura that they will be able to support me when I need it, this might mean them being good at cooking or knowing what I want even though I don't tell them etc.

E) Which of the following do you think that you do most of?

Spiritual Jump Start (patterns to be aware of):
Unconscious Childhood Messages:
Type 3 - Trying to be other than you authentically are. 
Type 9 - Resisting being affected by your experiences.
Type 1 - Value-judging, condemning yourself and others.
Type 4 - Making negative comparisons.
Type 6 - Becoming dependent on something outside yourself for support.
Type 7 - Anticipating what you are going to do next.
Type 5 - Over interpreting your experience.
Type 8 - Trying to force or control your life.
Type 2 - Giving your value away to others.

I wasn't able to fit in when I was younger and I was constantly criticised for what I did, hence I played along with what people wanted so that I could fit in with them. I was also very critical of myself thanks to all that criticism I received and I'd get mad when I got punished for something but others get away with it (I still do sometimes!) Again when I see the type 2 one, part of me just screams "My value does not depend on others, it depends on myself!!"
----

I guess that's about it. Surprisingly I don't relate to the 9 ones as much here. Maybe I am a 7 after all.


----------



## 0+n*1

A) Pick the few you relate to most, and Rank them from most to least, with a brief explanation if you're generous.

Unconscious Childhood Messages:

If we're talking about some message I think I got from parents and other similar figures in my childhood, I'll go with

Type 7 - "It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything."
Type 2 - "It's not okay to have your own needs."
Type 3 - "It's not okay to have your own feelings and identity."
- I think this is the most present. I was a very demanding kid but very early I realized I wasn't always welcome. I remember realizing in my school that some of my jokes weren't as funny or that I was too obstrusive and since then I have repressed my desires for attention. This is not limited to attention. I started to ask less from people around me. I started to stand up and get my stuff. This could be seen as it was not okay to have needs or that it was not okay to have my own feelings and identity but those things aren't as powerful as the message here. I realized asking for things wasn't going to get me anything. Yes, I felt my needs were too much or that my way of expressing myself was too much and I understood. I understood and said fuck it, I'll do it myself.

Type 6 - "It's not okay to trust yourself."
Type 9 - "It's not okay to assert yourself."
Type 5 - "It's not okay to be comfortable in the world."
- I was never empowered as a child (I wasn't disempowered either), I was never taught to believe in myself. I love my family but I feel like I was living inside a bubble with them. I don't remember doing lots of things with people outside my family and when people ask me about things everybody has experienced I feel like I was living under a rock. I never had big expectations. I still feel so little and meaningless. I don't feel like I can affect the world around me. The only thing I can do is to make a bubble around me and live there forever. I was taught to look the way around things and to be quiet and make a way of my own. 

B) Same as A, what scares you the most?

Basic Fears:

Type 3 - Fear of being worthless or without inherent value.
Type 4 - Fear of being without identity or personal significance.
Type 5 - Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent.
Type 6 - Fear of being without support or guidance.
Type 7 - Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain.
Type 9 - Fear of loss of connection, of fragmentation.
Type 2 - Fear of being unworthy or unloved.
Type 1 - Fear of being bad, corrupt, evil, or defective.
Type 8 - Fear of being harmed or controlled by others.

C) Same as A, what do you want most?

Basic Desires and their Distortions:

Type 3 - The desire to be valuable (deteriorates into chasing after success).
Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence).
Type 5 - The desire to be competent (deteriorates into useless specialization).
Type 6 - The desire to be secure (deteriorates into attachment to beliefs).
Type 8 - The desire to protect oneself (deteriorates into constant fighting).
Type 9 - The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness).
Type 1 - The desire to have integrity (deteriorates into critical perfection).
Type 2 - The desire to be loved (deteriorates into the need to be needed).
Type 7 - The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism).

D) Same as A, What do you most want to hear as an affirmation (edit: backed up by action)?

Lost Childhood Messages:

Type 4 - "You are seen for who you are."
Type 7 - "You will be taken care of."
Type 5 - "Your needs are not a problem."
Type 9 - "Your presence matters."
Type 2 - "You are wanted."
Type 6 - "You are safe."
Type 1 - "You are good."
Type 3 - "You are loved for yourself."
Type 8 - "You will not be betrayed."

E) Which of the following do you think that you do most of?

Spiritual Jump Start (patterns to be aware of):

Type 9 - Resisting being affected by your experiences.
Type 1 - Value-judging, condemning yourself and others.
Type 4 - Making negative comparisons.
Type 3 - Trying to be other than you authentically are. 
Type 6 - Becoming dependent on something outside yourself for support.
Type 2 - Giving your value away to others.
Type 5 - Over interpreting your experience.
Type 7 - Anticipating what you are going to do next.
Type 8 - Trying to force or control your life.


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## Lord Bullingdon

For fun:

*Unconscious Childhood Messages:*
Type 7 - "It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything."
Type 9 - "It's not okay to assert yourself."
Type 2 - "It's not okay to have your own needs."
Type 1 - "It's not okay to make mistakes."

My parents gave me these messages, in roughly this order. Basically, they were negligent people, and I always had the sense that I was supposed to exist and be happy without infringing on them in anyway. So, a combination of the positive outlook issues. I don't know why I've always hated making mistakes.


*B) Same as A, what scares you the most?*
Type 5 - Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent.
Type 7 - Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain.
Type 8 - Fear of being harmed or controlled by others.

These. If you could change that to "Fear of being useless, deprived, harmed and incompetent" it would be a better one-liner.


*Basic Desires and their Distortions:*
Type 4 - The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence).

Just this.



*Lost Childhood Messages:*
Type 2 - "You are wanted."
Type 7 - "You will be taken care of."
Type 9 - "Your presence matters."

Like I said in response to the first question.


*Spiritual Jump Start (patterns to be aware of):
Unconscious Childhood Messages:*
Type 4 - Making negative comparisons.

It's the only one I remotely identify with.


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