# How do you stop feeling guilty for not having anything to say?



## AimfortheBrain (Nov 2, 2010)

For some reason I always feel compelled to say something when there is a person near me. Even if I don't have anything to say I feel like I have to. This causes me to say a bunch of really stupid things that I end up being embarassed about. I know it comes from a lifetime of being called too quiet and too shy, but how do you get rid of that feeling?


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## Obsidean (Mar 24, 2010)

You're an ISFP, so you will always say some far out shit but don't worry most people love you for it


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## alionsroar (Jun 5, 2010)

Maybe think that you are talking in order to connect with the person instead of just so they don't think bad about you. So even if you do say stupid stuff it will be because you were trying to be nice lol.


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## viva (Aug 13, 2010)

I think some people are conditioned to think silence always has to be awkward. Personally, I don't mind silence and don't feel it's awkward, while it might grind on others' nerves to the point where they feel physically forced to say something. I think it's just a mental thing. If it's the other persons' opinion that you're concerned about, it's likely they haven't even noticed.


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## agreenbough (Aug 11, 2010)

Sometimes silence is awkward and sometimes it's not. It depends on who I'm with and how well we know each other.
But, I work as a receptionist (a freaky turn of events for an INFP:shocked, so yeah, I sometimes feel compelled to talk when I really have nothing to say. People don't seem to realize I've talked about the weather to 25 people already. But, yes, it's kind of cold out right now...
I love it (at work) when people either don't talk much beyond what is actually required, or are the kind of people who speak so easily that they make me comfortable enough to have an enjoyable conversation. I'm definitely not one of those people, but I'm glad they exist. As long as they don't hang around for too long.....


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## kindaconfused (Apr 30, 2010)

I am the same way, I hate awkward silence. Remember this- a smile is never "a stupid thing to say" :tongue:


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## AimfortheBrain (Nov 2, 2010)

agreenbough said:


> ...
> *I love it (at work) when people either don't talk much beyond what is actually required, or are the kind of people who speak so easily that they make me comfortable enough to have an enjoyable conversation.* I'm definitely not one of those people, but I'm glad they exist......


Me too. Mostly, I just feel impolite when there is a person around me and I'm not trying to talk to them. Sometimes I feel that its impolite to be introvert. On the otherhand, its totally phony for me to try and pay attention to everyone and thats not cool either. 

The good things is that I just joined this forum a week ago and after reading threads from so many people like me I've already become a lot more comfortable just being my natural introverted self.


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## Neon Knight (Aug 11, 2010)

When someone figures this out I'd be glad to hear it myself :sad: Awkward silence makes me say dumb shit for the sake of killing the silence too. I feel like I have to be "on" all the time too so it's really exhausting after a while. For them AND me.


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## Notus Asphodelus (Jan 20, 2015)

Observe what they've been occupied with at the moment. That should give you an idea of how to approach them. If they seem rather busy, a simple hello is enough and then you can go on with your on business. If they are up for conversations, ask them general questions instead and let them do the talking while you listen. If all else fails, pick up your earphones and listen to music.


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## bigstupidgrin (Sep 26, 2014)

Surround yourself with people who are fine with silence. My wife is an E, but she knows I need quiet time and doesn't take it personally.


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## Lemxn (Aug 17, 2013)

I am socially awkward and shy just like you, the things is sometimes saying anything is not our responsability, if you don't have anything to say, just don't. Sometimes silence is good, sometimes is awkward but what can you do? I just start messing with my phone until the other person has anything to say. You don't need to get rid of any feeling, you need to accept you are not talkative as others and it's totally fine.


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## Aizceq (Dec 27, 2014)

Read "Quiet the power of introverts" by susan cain 
I am sure it will benefit you.


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