# What's it like to be an SO last - particularily SP/SX?



## Chesire Tower (Jan 19, 2013)

Do you tend to feel cut off from the rest of the world and live in your own little bubble or is that more type specific: ie. SO lasts for withdrawn types (4,5,9)?

Or is it more connected to being an SP first?

{Obviously SP/SX/*SO* 4s/5s/9s would relate to this the most but I want to isolate the main factor in this equation: E type or instinct>}




Thoughts?


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## Paradigm (Feb 16, 2010)

Chesire Tower said:


> Do you tend to feel cut off from the rest of the world and live in your own little bubble or is that more type specific: ie. SO lasts for withdrawn types (4,5,9)?


I do feel isolated from groups, particularly when people get together to do stuff. I feel like I'm constantly on the sidelines in those situations. I lack any fundamental knowledge of how to integrate myself. When I try, it's as if I'm poking at the world through a thin, see-through veil/curtain.

I have very little people-energy. I can't keep up with numerous close relationships, and I hate anything resembling acquaintanceship. I loathe getting to know people, though; I want to skip to the intimate parts, those moments are so much more enjoyable. It's not that I want to "devour souls" like SX-firsts -- frankly, devouring is kinda disgusting -- but I do want deep connections.

I'm not possessive of people, but I can be of things. Perhaps that's SP-first for you. On the other hand, I'm not fond of losing friends. I'm very much a "for life" kind of person, because of those deep connections.

And actually, I have low energy to begin with. Interacting with the world is meh. But I'm Se-inferior, so idk, maybe it's more that than SP/SX. *Conservation of energy is my main goal in life, really.* Even just trying to express myself can use up more energy than I'd like, so often I just don't bother trying. Physical activities are even worse. But I'll gladly expend more energy now if it means less energy in the long-term.

I have a _very_ strong need to be my own person. I _have_ to know where I stop and where someone else begins. Anything other than that is not an option. Yet, kind of contradictory, I do long for the... "you complete me" ideal, as embarrassing as it is to admit.

The whole "only withdrawns feel this way" is annoying, as it's so prevalent. There's _so many_ reasons why one would be similar, and they aren't all typology-related.


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## Recede (Nov 23, 2011)

Chesire Tower said:


> Do you tend to feel cut off from the rest of the world and live in your own little bubble or is that more type specific: ie. SO lasts for withdrawn types (4,5,9)?
> 
> Or is it more connected to being an SP first?
> 
> ...


I live in a bubble. What is this "rest of the world" you speak of? o.o

To me it's like being blind to anything social: culture, society, community, groups, politics, social roles, stereotypes, trends, celebrities, etc. All those things that are said to be shared knowledge or values within culture or society. Anything social like that is foreign to me, almost to the point where it doesn't exist. Not only am I oblivious, but I also don't understand the purpose or value of these things.


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## Chesire Tower (Jan 19, 2013)

The responses from @Paradigm and @Silveresque are making a hella lot more sense than the responses in the http://personalitycafe.com/enneagram-personality-theory-forum/464314-what-life-like-sp-last.html thread.



Yeah, it's kind of strange since considering that I am Fe aux, you would think that this stuff would not be so completely foreign to me. \o/


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## Pressed Flowers (Oct 8, 2014)

This is so interesting to me, and thank you everyone for sharing. I used to think that instinctual variants weren't that important, but I'm starting to see that they really do impact people quite a bit. I'll have to keep them in mind now as well when I find I can't understand someone. 

(I'm an SO-dominant by the way. Sorry I can't be of much help here, but it just wanted to give my gratitude. Maybe the wrong thread for that (*awkward laugh*), but yeah, I'll be following this topic.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

I think I am so last with 269 tritype(not sure about the core yet),also probably ENFJ and it's a weird thing to be,isn't it? XD

Anyway,I'm very socially aware but at the same time I feel like I'm not really touched by social things,I can keep very detached from them and I only really care if sp and sx are in some way forcing me to care or at least act like I do.
I don't have strong opinions on what's going on in the world,it's the last thing on my mind tbh and I don't even care what's going on around me socially.I don't care about current ideals,I don't care about having many friends,I don't care about being universally anything,I don't get it how you can measure worth by how many friends you have,I don't get how young people sometimes have relationships they enjoy yet they need to go out with their friends all the time and know what's everyone doing and some put that above everything else (no wonder they all lose their boyfriends after a month XD)
At the same time I'm very aware,I get who is or isn't,belongs or doesn't but it's a very vague kind of awareness.I used to think my so was higher because of how I was raised but I realized that I'm actually less "social"(both focused/interested in social dynamics as well as desiring of friends,wanting to fit in,etc.) than my INTP father and many other introverts I know,my so is "Ok,I guess now it's time I care about this for a bit" kind of thing.


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## Inveniet (Aug 21, 2009)

I'm reasonably content, but I'm alone alot.
I'm not really lonely, but I've been that too.

To me it seems that I can't really convince myself that groups of people are important.
Individuals can be important, relations can be important.
Groups are just transient labels, like assigning a class 3A.
I don't attach to any group, but I attach to relations.
I would never die for my country, I don't buy the idea of a country.
I buy the concept of having many shared behaviours due to normative indoctrination.
Yet I hardly see how this injustice done to me should make me need to sacrifice for my fellow victims.

That is not to say that I can't be in a group, I can and while I participate I can feel some level of unity.
Yet it is transient and easily lost.

Just like an Sp last can take care of themself, yet they usually abandon the project at first opportunity.
Or Sx last who can't form deep relations with others with any reliable success.
The superficial nature of Sp/So or So/Sp is kinda disturbing to me.
I just pity the So/Sx or SX/So who can't take care of themself reliably.


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## o0india0o (Mar 17, 2015)

I do tend to be cut off from the world and live in my own little bubble, which I think is quite unusual for an Enneagram type 7 (at least from the many descriptions I've read). I am Enneagram type 7w6 sp/sx (though I think the sexual instinct is fairly strong as well; as oppose to taking a distinct second place). I am still friendly and enthusiastic (like many type 7's), but it's easiest for me to be a "social butterfly" among small groups (tiny really) or one-on-one. In big groups or large social events, I just seem to get lost, and tend to feel drained (I'm not one for small talk or "appearances"). 

My strengths tend to be in the awareness of the energy and synergy between myself and one or two other people (this just cannot occur in larger groups; in larger groups I feel like I'm naked or have lost my power to connect with others). Like Paradigm, I tend to want to just skip to the intimacy and relational depth (I tend to dive right in myself!). I am quick to reveal in conversation, and am the type to wear my heart on my sleeve.

My weakness as an SO last, is that I sometimes feel isolated and "left out" from groups of people (or sometimes society at large). It can feel like everyone was given a rule book, and I missed the memo. I am out of tune with the finer social mannerisms that SO variants are astutely aware of, and thus end up sometimes making social faux pas. I just want to be human, but it seems SO types are caught up in appearances and rules that dictate certain behaviors. It's all just too much for me to keep track of, and tends to make me feel as though I must sell my soul to fit in. So, as you can imagine, I tend to avoid large groups or big parties for such a reason. I just gel better one-on-one or with small gatherings of people; it is in those situations that I really shine and feel understood.


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