# What Enneagram Type Is Your SO?



## Ace Face (Nov 13, 2011)

I've read a lot of the enneagram compatibility articles. I do find them interesting, but we all know that it's the people involved that make it work... not what types they are. The enneagram compatibility charts have kinda become a popular thing, and I think it would do people good to see that their fates aren't determined by some marking on a chart. I happen to be in a relationship in which the type pairing is fairly uncommon. I mean, as a female 3, I'm already a minority  Throwing me together with a type 5 male is the last thing most people would expect, but it works... and it works well ^.^' 

I'm a 3w2, 7w8, 1w2 sx/so (ENFP)
SO is 5w4, 9w1, 4w5 sp/sx (INTP) 

What types have you been paired with? What type are you currently paired with? Feel free to share stories if you'd like


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## sleepyhead (Nov 14, 2011)

I'm a 5w4 9w8 4w3 sx/sp (considering 2w3 as of late)
He's a 6w7 1w2 4w5 so/sp (as far as we can tell this far) 

I haven't thought that much about types of people I dated in the past.


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## singinbluebird (Jun 11, 2012)

Yeah, Ive read a lot of the enneagram compatibilities articles and they seem to be quite cynical. I think it basically comes down to who we are as individuals, then our enneagram. I mean, basically Im ME, then I am a 4w5. Not the other way around. I am dating a 2w1 and even though we're both heart types and emotional, we also see each other for who we really are, not just numbers. When Im with him, I see him....not necessarily his number, although he does exhibit a 2w1's characteristics. 

And in the end, it all comes down to how mature we are, and our character. The guy Im dating has a lot of integrity, strong morals, and hes a good guy. Doesnt matter what type he is, if he has all those, then hes the guy I want. =)


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## Eerie (Feb 9, 2011)

He's an 8w9. :happy: I think that he is a lot more calm about situations than I am, which is extremely helpful.


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## Ace Face (Nov 13, 2011)

singinbluebird said:


> Yeah, Ive read a lot of the enneagram compatibilities articles and they seem to be quite cynical. I think it basically comes down to who we are as individuals, then our enneagram. I mean, basically Im ME, then I am a 4w5. Not the other way around. I am dating a 2w1 and even though we're both heart types and emotional, we also see each other for who we really are, not just numbers. When Im with him, I see him....not necessarily his number, although he does exhibit a 2w1's characteristics.
> 
> And in the end, it all comes down to how mature we are, and our character. The guy Im dating has a lot of integrity, strong morals, and hes a good guy. Doesnt matter what type he is, if he has all those, then hes the guy I want. =)


Exactly. Some people get too caught up in the numbers. I love the numbers only because I love the theory, but they're not going to dictate who I pursue a relationship with. Those numbers do help me understand that person better though ^.^ In any case, I hardly think of my guy as his number even though he does display those characteristics. I'm totally with you on that one


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## Ace Face (Nov 13, 2011)

Eerie said:


> He's an 8w9. :happy: I think that he is a lot more calm about situations than I am, which is extremely helpful.


LOL! You know what's interesting is that the 8s in my life are also quite calm about most situations. I'm usually pretty calm too, but being around someone else who is calm is super nice! I think it's funny that people stereotype all 8s as rage bumpkins especially since that's hardly been my real life experience.


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## Scruffy (Aug 17, 2009)

I'm 3w4-5w6-8w7 sp/sx
She's 6w7-9w1-4w3 sx/so


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

I am a 3w4-7w6-8w9/1w2.

(1) My current partner is an INFJ 1w9-4w5-6w5 sx/so.

Stories? I'll tell you stories, babe LOL. Well, in short, he compliments me very well The relationship is smooth, passionate, soothing and all round awesome for both of us. He brings out my sensitivity, and I bring out his forceful side. 

(2) My first bf was an ENTJ 7w8-3w2-8w7. It was an inspired, explosive and super passionate relationship. Young love *sighs* :laughing:
It ended on a bad note, but we survived things only 2 insanely optimistic fools could've survived. That relationship was a test of endurance like no other. We rose above some of the worst circumstances imaginable, and kept hoping and planning for the best. He was my first love, but it took me a long time to forgive him for how he ended it. He actually called me, out of the blue, a year ago to apologize, which was surprising. We talked it out. There were tears, anger and, above all, forgiveness. I haven't talked to him, since. Though, I wish him well. 

(3) My second bf was an INTJ 3w4-5w6-1w9 (likely in this order, but 1w9 with a 3 fix is a possibility). He is a wonderful person. I usually cut ties with my exes, but I still talk to him every once in a while. He is a good friend. 

I've briefly a dated a few people, without things turning all that serious. I don't remember enough to type them lol!


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## goodgracesbadinfluence (Feb 28, 2011)

I'm an INTP 4w5 6w5 9w1. 
He's an INFP 6w5 1w9 3w2 (That's actually a pretty big educated guess; he's never been tested, but I'm pretty sure he's a 6w5 if nothing else.) 

We aren't "officially" dating either, but we obviously have a relationship. 

I don't think we have enneagram stories, considering I'm not 100% sure about his type. He's not super into personality tests like I am, although he's getting there haha.


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## BroNerd (Nov 27, 2010)

Not quite at SO level with her yet but close..also I have a closer bond with her than any of my ex-girlfriends, in a sense..

Me: ENTP 6w7-9w8-3w2 so/sp
Her: ISFJ 6w5-9w1-2w1 sp/so


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## MBTI Enthusiast (Jan 29, 2011)

I'm 9w1-3w2-6w5 sp/sx.
He's 6w5-9w1-2w3 sp/so.

As for enneagram compatibility charts, I know myself to be a culprit in posting those. Part of it is because these charts have been so fitting for me naturally; I only want others to experience what I have found. M6+F9 is magic. :happy: But back on point, the most important thing is that both parties know and understand types, IMO. In that case you will be more understanding of your partner's nature, rather than getting annoyed with them and thinking that they are doing certain things purely to annoy you. Also, people misunderstand this chart. Only those in gray are more unlikely to get together. Those in white get together according to chance. Those in yellow and red get together more often than chance. IMO, there are reasons that two types get together less often than chance, whatever those may be. Also, if two types get together more often than chance, there are reasons for this as well, whatever those may be. If they get together as often as chance, all one can say is that this is not less likely and not more likely than chance.


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## sparkles (Mar 2, 2011)

I'm not exactly sure. Still figuring out my tritype but I think it's something like 9w8 6w7 3w2 sx/so. I think the last person I dated was 5w4 3w2 7w6 so/sp. Current person seems to be something like 6w5 2w1 9w1 sp/sx?? 

I notice our mutual 6s can wreak havoc sometimes. It tends to be worse if I'm in disintegration mode. If I am not in disintegration it tends to be very easy and balanced.


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## Spades (Aug 31, 2011)

Me: NTFS 7w6 Sp/Sx (3 or 8 in tritype)
Him: ENFJ 2w1 So/Sx (2-9-6)

Pretty much polar opposites XD. It's fun.


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## reletative (Dec 17, 2010)

ISTP 5w6, 8w9, 3w2
ENFJ 6w7, 3w2, 1w9


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## Karen (Jul 17, 2009)

I'm 7w6 ExxP, he's 6w7 INTJ. You'd think our Enneagram types would be compatible, but it doesn't always work out that way. My 7 and 6 work together, his fight each other. I like a decently high level of stimulation most of the time, he likes quiet and to hide away, with episodes of major stimulation such as butt-beating hikes where I can't keep up. So our patterns coflict frequently. I think it might be easier to have an entirely different Enneagram type as an SO where we're not working so much at cross purposes, though we've been married a while and have learned to compromise to make it work. We do have fun together.


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## Wake (Aug 31, 2009)

Karen said:


> I'm 7w6 ExxP, he's 6w7 INTJ. You'd think our Enneagram types would be compatible, but it doesn't always work out that way. My 7 and 6 work together, his fight each other. I like a decently high level of stimulation most of the time, he likes quiet and to hide away, with episodes of major stimulation such as butt-beating hikes where I can't keep up. So our patterns coflict frequently. I think it might be easier to have an entirely different Enneagram type as an SO where we're not working so much at cross purposes, though we've been married a while and have learned to compromise to make it work. We do have fun together.


I know a 6w7 male and a 7w6 female who just made it public that they're having a kid together. They're two of the most mellow people I know, but the 6w7 always has a bashful nervous energy about him. From what I'm aware of they make for a great couple. I think the 6w7 is one of the best matches for grounding the 7w6 while not becoming too controlling, and making for a great life together.


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## Karen (Jul 17, 2009)

Wake said:


> I know a 6w7 male and a 7w6 female who just made it public that they're having a kid together. They're two of the most mellow people I know, but the 6w7 always has a bashful nervous energy about him. From what I'm aware of they make for a great couple. I think the 6w7 is one of the best matches for grounding the 7w6 while not becoming too controlling, and making for a great life together.



In the best of all worlds, his 6 would ground my 7 and my 7 would add some stimulation to his daily life, but in our life it's worked out to be too much grounding for me, not enough for him, plus we're not always mellow. There are other issues involved in relationships besides personality typing, so I guess those issues are having a strong effect on our relationship. I'm not complaining, just discussing how what seem to be compatible Enneagram types don't always work out the way you'd expect.


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## SilentScream (Mar 31, 2011)

MBTI Enthusiast said:


> I'm 9w1-3w2-6w5 sp/sx.
> He's 6w5-9w1-2w3 sp/so.
> 
> As for enneagram compatibility charts, I know myself to be a culprit in posting those. Part of it is because these charts have been so fitting for me naturally; I only want others to experience what I have found.


I agree with you on the compatibility charts. There's some very useful information there. @Etherea and I went through a huge song and dance with regards to our type discoveries trying to relate the various compatibilities together and trying to apply them - and the only ones that made the most sense in the end were 3 and 2 and 4 and 2. 

Some aspects of it do work - but only when both parties are rightly typed. If the types are off, then the compatibility matrix will seem like a contemptibility matrix. 

My Tritype: 4w3, 8w9, 5w6 sx/sp
Hers: 2w3, 9w8, 6w7 sp/sx


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## TreeBob (Oct 11, 2008)

Last two girlfriends were 5s, I don't know their wings. My last one was an ISTJ and my current partner is an ISTP.


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## Steel Magnolia (Apr 10, 2012)

My tritype is: 1w2 6w5 4w5. MBTI is ISTJ
My husband's tritype is likely: 5w6 9w1 2w1. MBTI is INFP


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