# Are quiet and reserved people INSECURE deep down?



## BlackLion (Mar 29, 2014)

What other reasons could be they are quiet besides being judged, attacked...etc (insecure)?


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## Mair (Feb 17, 2014)

Some people simply like talking only when they actually have something to say .


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## Golden Rose (Jun 5, 2014)

Living and playing in your own head is much more interesting than getting involved in pointless conversation.


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## yippy (May 21, 2014)

"Speaking is silver, silence (listening) is gold." 

"Wise men talk because they have something to say. Fools because they have to say something."

There will be quiet and reserved people who are insecure. But it surely is not the only reason why some people prefer to be quiet, low key. Imagine a table of 5 quiet people.

2 are introverted. They just had a busy day at work and are re-charging (while quietly spending some time with friends). 1 has a lot on his mind. Perhaps his daughter is ill or he just had an argument with his boss. 1 just likes to observe people, it's her way of figuring out if she can trust someone. Ok. 1 is terribly insecure. He is a new 'member' of the table and he is trying to find his role in the group. 

5 people. 4 reasons for being quiet and reserved.


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## Amine (Feb 23, 2014)

Some people think I am quiet and reserved when I'm really not. The truth is I just don't want to talk to _them_. When I'm around the right person or people, I'm not quiet or reserved. That is relatively few people, but I still wouldn't give myself these hardened attributes of being a quiet and reserved person. Just for people who don't know me.


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## Fern (Sep 2, 2012)

There are quiet secure people and loud insecure people. There are shy quiet people and confident loud people.


It's all about how the quietness is felt and expressed.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

No.I can be loud,very,and I'm generally insecure and I know quiet confident people who just don't feel like talking a lot.

Why are you so obsessed with this subject? XD


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## Glory (Sep 28, 2013)

shuddup dammit, you already got the answers in your other thread.


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## Morpheus83 (Oct 17, 2008)

I could also ask if loud and outspoken people are insecure deep down (maybe to hide their loneliness and fear of being ignored, not taken seriously, etc...) :tongue:


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## BlackLion (Mar 29, 2014)

Living dead said:


> No.I can be loud,very,and I'm generally insecure and I know quiet confident people who just don't feel like talking a lot.
> 
> Why are you so obsessed with this subject? XD


I like the fact that you reply in all my threads. Is that a valid reason for you?


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## BlackLion (Mar 29, 2014)

@Fern 

_It's all about how the quietness is felt and expressed._

I think this is the key. Good answer


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## BlackLion (Mar 29, 2014)

Thuringwethil said:


> shuddup dammit, you already got the answers in your other thread.


but I SEEK MORE!!!


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## WorldPeace (Dec 30, 2014)

I swear, I was an ENFP as a child and slowly became an INFP when I got bored with how limited the real world was. :laughing: Anyway, I'm _currently_ introverted for those very reasons, but also more: I find it more interesting to listen than to talk. I feel limited in that I only have _my_ view into this world. And, I don't mean that negatively. I just mean, all I have is _one_ (out of literal millions of) views in the world.

So, whenever I'm with people, I tend to just listen so that I know what that's like to be them -- what their view into the world is like. Also, I have a knack to see what's underlying beneath the "presented" information, and I tend to just sort of make implications of things that people _think_ they're hiding with the conversation I'm making. And people who've just recently met me obviously don't like that. So, sometimes it's out of politeness, lol.


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## angeleyes (Feb 20, 2013)

There all kinds of people with all kinds of motives for what they do or don't do.


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## southernsunflower (Nov 28, 2014)

I am quiet and reserved with anyone but my inner circle. And I censor myself more with some in my inner circle and less with others. 

Sometimes, insecurity may come into play. But most times, I'm just suspicious. Someone else said it: in my case, I like to watch and observe. And not judge in the sense of worse-or-better-person but judge in the sense of is-going-to-be-tedious-for-me-or-not. I like to feel I wont get "hurt". Emotionally. 

When I'm open I'm pretty darn open. I'm like an open (idiotic if you ask rational me) book. When I trust I trust. 

So, although I know I have a pretty darn good recovery ability, I just can't be bothered with anyone that is going to make me feel I have to "shell up" or spend (read: waste) too much time defending myself or having my guards up with.

So if you use the term _insecurity_ as in worrying about (or issues with) security... yep, it's true in my case. 

But if you use it the way many do which seems to be self doubts and doubt about one's worth/abilities, no. I doubt neither my worth nor my abilities. I know I am worth as much as anyone else (but, mind you, not more) and I have no doubt that I can do anything I set my mind to do. None whatsoever (I do have doubts about whether I really want some things I think I want or if I only want them because I think that's what _I should_ want... but that's a whole other subject...)

What I do doubt is people's capacities to not see a weak spot and poke at it. 

Regardless of if they hit that weak (vulnerable) spot because they are just mean (it happens that some people can be generally mean, it happens that people are just mean on some subjects... etc.), are sensitive themselves for whatever reason and hit before they get hit, or consider the subject so ridiculously unimportant that "you should really not get offended! Stap being such a wuss!"

I doubt people's ability to say (or think, or process, or feel): "you know what, you are not as great (or nice, smart, or whatever) as I thought you were... but you just are - and that's a good person or someone trying to be a good person (according to my own definition of good) - and that's good enough for me". But I have a fairly low opinion of people.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I am not quiet and reserved because I doubt me. I am quiet and reserved (not on this forum! but IRL absolutely) because *I doubt people*'s ability to be basically (truly) open and compassionate.

Signed, Forever Suspicious.


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## Apolo (Aug 15, 2014)

BlackLion said:


> What other reasons could be they are quiet besides being judged, attacked...etc (insecure)?


Some of us are plotting out all of the exit points, and making sure we have a plan for taking out anyone in the vicinity if the need should arise... All while you are sitting there blabbering on about what ever menial things are on your mind. I mean... We are being insecure...


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

I'd argue that it could indicate a person that has sufficient self-confidence, that they don't need to broadcast their thoughts/feelings/whatever for no actual reason.


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## Amine (Feb 23, 2014)

Metasentient said:


> I'd argue that it could indicate a person that has sufficient self-confidence, that they don't need to broadcast their thoughts/feelings/whatever for no actual reason.


True, a lot of the time staying quiet is the hardest thing to do. Talking is / can be a sign of nervousness.


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

Amine said:


> True, a lot of the time staying quiet is the hardest thing to do. Talking is / can be a sign of nervousness.


Yep, talking or just trying to holler over everybody else.

In other words, a quiet and reserved person is just that.


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## DiamondDays (Sep 4, 2012)

Spot on, dude.


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