# Masochism Vs the "forbidden" fruit....



## Kintsugi (May 17, 2011)

I'm talking about the PoLR!

In conversation with @Schweeeeks , I realised I am not the only one that has this masochistic inclination....

Who else has outrageous fantasies of sweeping their Supervisor off their feet and making them putty in your hands?

Lol.


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

...Er, I might have something similar in mind, but that's a bit embarrassing to post in public. :tongue:

But a fantasy about seducing your supervisor makes sense to me, if I get this right. Since the supervisor can seem superior, there's the idea of "conquering" someone who usually seems so above you. Which can be satisfying.


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## Kintsugi (May 17, 2011)

Distortions said:


> ...Er, I might have something similar in mind, but that's a bit embarrassing to post in public. :tongue:
> 
> But a fantasy about seducing your supervisor makes sense to me, if I get this right. Since the supervisor can seem superior, there's the idea of "conquering" someone who usually seems so above you. Which can be satisfying.


yeaaaah, baby!

It's like...

"let me prove myself, darling."

.....and it all seems wonderfully awesome when it's played out in your head...but....

when it comes down to the nitty-gritty?

Meh. T____T

Supervisor.....take me, I'm yours! *throws myself upon the mercy of the court*

lol


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## Inveniet (Aug 21, 2009)

Well my supervisors are usually attracted to me so that shouldn't be too hard.
It isn't the seduction that is the problem.
But what the do you do the next day? etc
That is when all hell breaks lose! :-/

And to answer the question, yes I've imagined about several supervisors without cloathes.
Luckily I've been twarted by circumstance.
Thanks ENTJ dude that showed up to jump on the grenade... xD
At least you survived the blast, I would not have been so lucky...


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## Another Lost Cause (Oct 6, 2015)

Supervisors tend to insult your intelligence and trigger inferiority complexes. The desires described here seem more like the mechanics of the victim-aggressor dual relation.


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## Kintsugi (May 17, 2011)

Another Lost Cause said:


> Supervisors tend to insult your intelligence and trigger inferiority complexes. The desires described here seem more like the mechanics of the victim-aggressor dual relation.


Or just plain old fun-loving BDSM? 

Seriously though, it might also be a desire to be "punished" and "humiliated" like you were in childhood (to re-enact dysfunctional relationship with parents/guardians).


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## MisterPerfect (Nov 20, 2015)

First off I dont see what this has to do with BDSM since that is not at all how it works. In BDSM there is established roles. There is the Dom/Master/Mistress/Mommy and there is the Sub/Kanjira/Pet/slave. If we are saying that your supervisor is holding the dominant role and you want to Dom them that would be going against the rules of BDSM. Though you might classify it as a kink/Fetish. This idea seems really weird to me. Since generally the idea is that one wants to sleep with their superior, but not that they want to seduce them. Also I never understood how people want to be in a relationship with their superiors, as for me that always set up a barrier.

I tend to throw everyone of mentor status into the same boat. 
Mom/teacher/dad/boss/supervisor/Captain

Also it seems some of the teachers I had in middle school/Elementary school had a very motherly/Fatherly nature to them. They seemed to care about their students as they would their own children. I dont understand why anyone would fall in love with them. I have a similar nature.


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## Kintsugi (May 17, 2011)

MisterPerfect said:


> First off I dont see what this has to do with BDSM since that is not at all how it works. In BDSM there is established roles. There is the Dom/Master/Mistress/Mommy and there is the Sub/Kanjira/Pet/slave. If we are saying that your supervisor is holding the dominant role and you want to Dom them that would be going against the rules of BDSM. Though you might classify it as a kink/Fetish. This idea seems really weird to me. Since generally the idea is that one wants to sleep with their superior, but not that they want to seduce them. Also I never understood how people want to be in a relationship with their superiors, as for me that always set up a barrier.
> 
> I tend to throw everyone of mentor status into the same boat.
> Mom/teacher/dad/boss/supervisor/Captain


Well, I was kinda jk, but...ok.

I don't know the ins-and-outs of BDSM rules so I can't really add more to that. 

Also, why is not wanting to dominant and sleep with a superior sexy...?! The whole idea of breaking some supposed strong or authoritative figure down in such a way is just soo appealing to me. :3

Fuck the rules I say, just go with the flow. xD


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## sereneone (Aug 1, 2013)

The Perfect Storm said:


> I'm talking about the PoLR!
> 
> In conversation with @_Schweeeeks_ , I realised I am not the only one that has this masochistic inclination....
> 
> ...


Okay, but in this case it sounds like you are the one playing with the mouse. I'm recommending a change of topic to "Sadism With Forbidden Fruit"


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## soseductive (Jan 5, 2016)

Only fantasies i have about my supervisor is how he stuck on the island with LSI. It's not hard to seduce my supervisor, you just need to bark at him and he all yours, but it did not excite me at all :/ When i think about my supervisor i feel only sadness and disappointment.


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## Jeremy8419 (Mar 2, 2015)

Old topic. You could just skip the supervisor and request your significant other display more of such traits now and again. Otherwise, you'll lose track of aspects of himself that make him who he is.


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

Jeremy8419 said:


> Old topic. You could just skip the supervisor and request your significant other display more of such traits now and again. Otherwise, you'll lose track of aspects of himself that make him who he is.


Lol, I don't think it's just about those particular traits. It's more about the dynamic. Asking your SO to display some traits wouldn't capture that, though it could simulate it if you're into roleplaying I guess.


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## karmachameleon (Nov 1, 2015)

Isn't the masochistic thing in a relationship (not sexually) an Ni ego thing?
Like the Ni ego kind of expects the Se ego to be mean. I wonder if Ni egos are more inclined to be in a reltationship where their partner is emotionally manipulative.


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## Jeremy8419 (Mar 2, 2015)

Expects or thinks or feels?


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

soseductive said:


> Only fantasies i have about my supervisor is how he stuck on the island with LSI. It's not hard to seduce my supervisor, you just need to bark at him and he all yours, but it did not excite me at all :/ When i think about my supervisor i feel only sadness and disappointment.


I feel the same way. I've had too much experience with my supervisors, and it always turns into a disappointment. Now when I see another one that I have to work or socialize with, I brace myself and think "how can we make this work" and delay those disenchanting feelings setting in. My duals are way sexier, and more interesting and satisfying in terms of trying to mold something out of them.


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## Jeremy8419 (Mar 2, 2015)

Distortions said:


> Lol, I don't think it's just about those particular traits. It's more about the dynamic. Asking your SO to display some traits wouldn't capture that, though it could simulate it if you're into roleplaying I guess.


Most stuff is role-play for one party, because you're doing what the other person wants not what you necessarily want lol. It's just about being direct with communication; e.g., be more "this" this time... be more "that" this time... etc. I've known a lot of people that are surprisingly self-conscious about what their partner would think if they asked, but then asking itself opens up them the opportunity to ask for things themselves. Like a shared willingness.


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

Jeremy8419 said:


> Most stuff is role-play for one party, because you're doing what the other person wants not what you necessarily want lol. It's just about being direct with communication; e.g., be more "this" this time... be more "that" this time... etc. I've known a lot of people that are surprisingly self-conscious about what their partner would think if they asked, but then asking itself opens up them the opportunity to ask for things themselves. Like a shared willingness.


That's besides the point, though.

@_karmachameleon_
I kinda get the impression the Ni-ego/Victim is the one doing a lot of the manipulation though, while the Aggressor is more the... well, overtly aggressive one.


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## Jeremy8419 (Mar 2, 2015)

Distortions said:


> That's besides the point, though.
> 
> @_karmachameleon_
> I kinda get the impression the Ni-ego/Victim is the one doing a lot of the manipulation though, while the Aggressor is more the... well, overtly aggressive one.


Duality Relations INFp and ESTp by Stratiyevskaya - Wikisocion
Describes the manipulations of IEI


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## Ixim (Jun 19, 2013)

karmachameleon said:


> Isn't the masochistic thing in a relationship (not sexually) an Ni ego thing?
> Like the Ni ego kind of expects the Se ego to be mean. I wonder if Ni egos are more inclined to be in a reltationship where their partner is emotionally manipulative.


Ni's are the ones who are stereotypically manipulative, not Se's lol. Unless I missed a memo where an Se lived most of their life within their head...


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

Jeremy8419 said:


> Duality Relations INFp and ESTp by Stratiyevskaya - Wikisocion
> Describes the manipulations of IEI


I wasn't asking, but okay.

Anyway, you seem unable to understand this relationship stuff beyond a straightforwardly logical level, which really does strike me as a blatant example of inferior Feeling. Or maybe it's just a massive case of Aspergers.


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## karmachameleon (Nov 1, 2015)

Ixim said:


> Ni's are the ones who are stereotypically manipulative, not Se's lol. Unless I missed a memo where an Se lived most of their life within their head...


Why do Ni egos expect Se ego to be "mean" to them and it says that Ni are the more masochistic ones, whether they realise it or not. It doesnt sound like someone that is in control.


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## Jeremy8419 (Mar 2, 2015)

Distortions said:


> I wasn't asking, but okay.
> 
> Anyway, you seem unable to understand this relationship stuff beyond a straightforwardly logical level, which really does strike me as a blatant example of inferior Feeling. Or maybe it's just a massive case of Aspergers.


I understand it perfectly. Anyways, watch the insults and the type bullying.


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## Jeremy8419 (Mar 2, 2015)

karmachameleon said:


> Why do Ni egos expect Se ego to be "mean" to them and it says that Ni are the more masochistic ones, whether they realise it or not. It doesnt sound like someone that is in control.


It's probably just the impression of the author placed over reality. Maybe he didn't bother to simply ask people about the accuracy?


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## Ixim (Jun 19, 2013)

karmachameleon said:


> Why do Ni egos expect Se ego to be "mean" to them and it says that Ni are the more masochistic ones, whether they realise it or not. It doesnt sound like someone that is in control.


Now...think of Lecter or Palpatine.

Get it? The spider web.


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## sereneone (Aug 1, 2013)

karmachameleon said:


> Why do Ni egos expect Se ego to be "mean" to them and it says that Ni are the more masochistic ones, whether they realise it or not. It doesnt sound like someone that is in control.


But you understand that people often use masochism as a balancing tool rather than as a display of a primary personality attribute? Someone who is an authority at work might migrate towards submissiveness or masochism (emotional or sexual) in a personal relationship simply to provide some kind of overall balancing of personality. 

Regarding Ni and Se, the expectation of cruel behavior does not imply the enjoyment of that behavior. So, even if what you describe were true, I don't think you could conclude that Ni was a masochist. I also don't think that such an expectation establishes one's desire to be in, or effectiveness in, a controlling role.

I am not sure that MBTI would have value as a predictive tool for a person's power needs, emotionally or sexually. Those seem complementary to MBTI personality types, and MBTI might help more with understanding how a given preference expresses itself, but not with predicting the preference itself.


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## Jeremy8419 (Mar 2, 2015)

sereneone said:


> But you understand that people often use masochism as a balancing tool rather than as a display of a primary personality attribute? Someone who is an authority at work might migrate towards submissiveness or masochism (emotional or sexual) in a personal relationship simply to provide some kind of overall balancing of personality.
> 
> Regarding Ni and Se, the expectation of cruel behavior does not imply the enjoyment of that behavior. So, even if what you describe were true, I don't think you could conclude that Ni was a masochist. I also don't think that such an expectation establishes one's desire to be in, or effectiveness in, a controlling role.
> 
> I am not sure that MBTI would have value as a predictive tool for a person's power needs, emotionally or sexually. Those seem complementary to MBTI personality types, and MBTI might help more with understanding how a given preference expresses itself, but not with predicting the preference itself.


I think the whole "types" stuff is more like a 4D gradient than black-and-white rigidity. I also think that the "types" are simply a reflection of where we "go" in the world to be able to balance correctly with those who we are intimate with. Everyone has a "type" even if it's very borderline, but people all start relationships with each other. If the world hadn't caused the "type" of the individual, then the individual could never balance correctly with another set individual. Then again, on some levels, I do believe in fate, so it may be opposite for yourself lol.

All the remaining stuff I just view as a different sort of gradient, though it could be transposed onto the typology models if someone found the need to do so. If someone is into one sort of thing, then their life has culminated into such by whatever means. If someone else is into the complementary part of that as well, then their life too has culminated into such by whatever means. Those two specific people would never fit perfectly, if their lives had not been exactly that. And, in my book, the world moves to push them together, no matter how many times they miss each other.


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