# INFJ ? INFP ? Alien ?



## rapunzel (Oct 19, 2015)

Hello there person whoever is reading this right now. Maybe you're the one to help me because lately I've been feeling like I'm losing my mind. I've started getting into MBTI like 5 months ago and for most of the time I feel like the more I understand it, the more I *don't understand myself*. 

There are only two things I'm definitely sure of : 
1. I'm definitely an Introvert, always have been, always will be.
2. I'm definitely a Feeler.

I don't know about the rest. Seriously considered every introverted feeler-type. I've heard ISFJ often, I also heard ISFP. But I just feel like INFJ and INFP are the ones that I can relate to most, but on the other side I'm starting to think I'm some kind of alien who has no type. However, I found out about this site and made an account hoping someone on here is able to type me ? Or at least try to help me with finding my type ?

So here I am, doing one of these questionnaires everyone seems to be doing to figure out their type :

*1) What aspect of your personality made you unsure of your type?*

I'm pretty sure I already pretty much explained that. I've been through tests, tumblr posts, youtube videos, other websites and still .. here I am not knowing _"who I am"_.


*2) What do you yearn for in life? Why?*

I want to be happy. Sure, this probably sounds like in one of these cliché movies but it's true. I might not be completely sure what I want to become when I'm older or even where I want to live but I know that I want to be happy, I want to be able to travel a lot and learn a lot of new things. I want to spend as much time with my family as I can and maybe even, for once in my life, find a place where I feel like I belong.


*3) Think about a time where you felt like you were at your finest. Tell us what made you feel that way.*

I often feel like I'm at my finest when I'm in the car, listening to music, staring at the things passing by. Just looking at the colorful trees this time of the year makes me happy. I also often feel the best when I'm with my mom, when we're watching a movie together or going out for some coffee. Exploring new cities and places also kind of makes me happy (or it stresses me out completely but yeah).

*4) What makes you feel inferior?*

Saying the wrong thing in class, getting a bad grade on an exam, not being able to express my emotions or the things I want to say in the right way, wanting to write something so badly but not finding the right words ..

*5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.)*

If people I love are involved I will always think about them first but I tend to do a lot of pro-con lists. How I feel about it also has an influence, If I feel like there is something wrong - there often is something wrong, so I trust myself with this.

*6) When working on a project what is normally your emphasis? Do you like to have control of the outcome?*

This clearly depends on the subject and the people I'm doing the project with. If it's a subject I'm really good at, I will try to have a huge influence on the project, if the people I'm working with are my friends or I know them well I also will be very talkactive and maybe even take control. If it's a subject I'm bad at or I'm in a group of people I'm uncomfortable with I will probably just sit there, hoping no one talks to me.

*7) Describe us a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it? *

I went to have coffee with a very good friend last week, we talked about life and boys and school and afterwarts we went to a huge (really _huge_ bookstore) and spend nearly two hours there. The rest of the day strolled along the windows of the shops, looking at all the great things we could never afford. The whole city was just so full of light and even the rain made the whole day just so much better. (yes I actually like rain) I went home and I just felt so much like myself, like I had been the best version of myself the entire day. It was wonderful.

*8) When you want to learn something new, what feels more natural for you? (Are you more prone to be hands on, to theorize, to memorize, etc)*

I tend to write a lot of things down. It helps me memorize. Also, talking about it helps, if I talk about the subject with someone, I likely memorize stuff better.

*9) How organized do you to think of yourself as?*

There are times where I am the biggest neat-freak ever. My room is always pretty much tidy and when I'm bored or angry or sad I tend to clean or tidy up my room. (it calms me down, distracts me from my thoughs). My school stuff is also always really organized. But when I'm feeling depressed or sad I can also be a big mess. 

*10) How do you judge new ideas? You try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense or do you look for information that supports it?*

See if it makes sense. I always look for the sense behind something (which is probably why I'm so bad at maths) I'm also likely to try find the principles behind it but looking for information that supports it doesn't really sound like me.

*11) You find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself?*

Both. I always try to give everyone a good feeling and be open to everyone's mind and ideas, however I will always stand up for the things I believe in and follow my heart.

*12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions?*

Definitely one-on-one communication ! Group discussion can be fun I guess but they tend to stress me out. I try to think before I speak, I'm not that talkactive either way and my mind is constantly doing some crazy stuff so I overanalyze everything. When I'm excited I can speak before I think though, but it barely happens at least not around most people.

*13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words?*

I would like to know where I'm jumping. The kind of overanalyzer that I am, I always go through worst-case-scenarios and try to gather all kind of information before I do something I normally wouldn't. I'm just a big comfort-zone type of girl. I guess action speaks louder than words because you can say you want to help people all day but it won't change a thing, going out there and helping people is the only thing that's gonna change something.

*14) It's Saturday. You're at home, and your favorite show is about to start. Your friends call you for a night out. What will you do?*

Duh, I will always put my comfy bed and a good show before a "night out". Gosh I would never even go to party tbh, I always pretend like I'm sick if I'm invited to one.

*15) How do you act when you're stressed out?*

My leg starts to shake, I get really angry and frustrated. I tend to yell at someone and doubt myself. I also get really anxious when I'm under stress.

*16) What makes you dislike the personalities of some people?*

Racism, sexism, arrogance .. being superficial, being a dickhead, judging others before even getting to know them, spreading rumours, putting others down. There are so many things that make me angry and sad about people, I don't get why some people decide to be hateful instead of generous and accepting. It makes me so sad honestly.

*17) Is there anything you really like talking about with other people?*

Pretty much everything that interests me. I like to talk about every kind of thing that makes me happy or that makes me feel excited. I like to talk about tv shows and movies but I also like to talk about space and the complexity of life. I don't really like to talk about my "deeper" feelings though.

*18) What kind of things do pay the least attention to in your life*

This is hard to say because I can't really think of some. Probably because I don't give them any attention.

*19) How do your friends perceive you? What is wrong about their perception? ? What would your friends never say about your personality ?*

My friends view me as very confident and extroverted most of the time which is the exact opposite of myself. They also never really see the deeper side of me. To be honest, I often feel like they don't really know the _"real me"_ because I barely show it to anyone. / They would never call me "the life of the party" or "center of attention" though because well, I'm just not even close to that.

*20) You got a whole day to do whatever you like. What kind of activities do you feel like doing?*

Maybe bake something or cook something nice for me and my family. Maybe watch a movie or take a bath or write something. If I'm feeling social I would probably go shopping or go for coffee with my friends.


Thank you for anyone reading this. I would truly appreciate all kind of ideas you guys have :anyone:


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## grassafue (Mar 20, 2014)

I dont really have an answer but I can vibe with this. Being introverted and a feeler, but not really sure beyond that. I'm very attuned to the feeling of others which makes me seem to be Fe, but at the same time I have very deep core values that heavily guide my decisions. I sometimes wonder if the confusion of feelers that can't find a type is that their Fi values are group harmony and keeping everyone involved and included. Which would make deciphering between Fe and Fi that much more difficult. I find it really difficult to differentiate Fi and Fe in introvertes, it seems more obvious in extroverts.


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## rapunzel (Oct 19, 2015)

Yes I can relate. I feel like that's the reason I often can't type introverts or even me, while typing extroverts seems a lot more easy to me, well most of the time.


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## Julchen (Sep 5, 2015)

I actually would have guessed ISFP or INFP for you  But as already mentioned in this thread it is pretty hard to differentiate Fe/Fi in introverts - if my inferior Se would not be that obvious (overlooking things that are already lying nearby, waking up with bruises I did not know where I could have got them from nd generally walking into objects....) I would have questioned my type too.

Maybe you could take a look how the inferior functions in INFPs, ISFPs and INFJs work (I did not see enough Si for you to be an ISFJ but of course you can look that up too)

Good luck finding your type


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## rapunzel (Oct 19, 2015)

Julchen said:


> I actually would have guessed ISFP or INFP for you  But as already mentioned in this thread it is pretty hard to differentiate Fe/Fi in introverts - if my inferior Se would not be that obvious (overlooking things that are already lying nearby, waking up with bruises I did not know where I could have got them from nd generally walking into objects....) I would have questioned my type too.
> 
> Maybe you could take a look how the inferior functions in INFPs, ISFPs and INFJs work (I did not see enough Si for you to be an ISFJ but of course you can look that up too)
> 
> Good luck finding your type


Thank you for your thoughts ! I have to say that I can relate to both, ISFP and INFP but INFP seems a bit more likely I guess. I've looked up the inferior functions for INFP, ISFP and INFJ and (even though its still kind of confusing for me  ) I guess INFP is the one I relate to most. INFJ's function aren't really like me, god knows why I always score that in every test I take.


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## Lunaena (Nov 16, 2013)

Feeling like an alien is one of the strongest feelings in me. I know I am an INFx. I have studied MBTI for almost three years and I still do not know which type I am. I think the only conclusion I can make is that we cannot be for sure any of the types because our human minds are too complicated for a typing system like this. You put a person in a box and expect them to stay there and not discover new parts of themselves.


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## rapunzel (Oct 19, 2015)

Draumande Romvesen said:


> Feeling like an alien is one of the strongest feelings in me. I know I am an INFx. I have studied MBTI for almost three years and I still do not know which type I am. I think the only conclusion I can make is that we cannot be for sure any of the types because our human minds are too complicated for a typing system like this. You put a person in a box and expect them to stay there and not discover new parts of themselves.


Exactly. It's probably what bothers me the most, because even though I want to know my type and I want to _"know who I am"_, I feel like it's just kind of impossible.


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## Lunaena (Nov 16, 2013)

rapunzel said:


> Exactly. It's probably what bothers me the most, because even though I want to know my type and I want to _"know who I am"_, I feel like it's just kind of impossible.


Finding out who I am has always been my strongest motivation in life, even before I realized so. It was through MBTI I realized that it was not wanting to find my true type that was the problem, it was because I am searching for somewhere I belong and who I truly am as an existing creature in this universe. MBTI was simply a small tool I thought was big, I thought it would help me, but it cannot help me. It cannot tell me who I am because anyone can be someone in the types, which makes me feel like if I am truly a type, I am no one. I am not me, I am just some person in a box who don't want to leave because the box tells me who I am, and that is not who I am. 

However, I do understand your wish to figure out your type. I suggest looking at functions, because ISFJ, INFP, INFJ and ISFP are completely different types even though they are all introverted and feelers. Functions can help you figure out which type you definitely are not, and which ones you lean towards.

I also see that you have not been into MBTI for a long time (3 years is not a long time either), and you will, as time passes and you read about things, learn more and more about MBTI. You'll have a better understanding of it in some years than you have now, regardless of how well or poorly you understand it.

I wish you good luck in finding your type. I can see you have a very open mind, and that you are being honest about yourself, not trying to pretend or become like a type.


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## aurly (Jun 15, 2014)

I put you in the INFP box, for now.

What makes you think you're Introverted, though?


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## rapunzel (Oct 19, 2015)

Draumande Romvesen said:


> Finding out who I am has always been my strongest motivation in life, even before I realized so. It was through MBTI I realized that it was not wanting to find my true type that was the problem, it was because I am searching for somewhere I belong and who I truly am as an existing creature in this universe. MBTI was simply a small tool I thought was big, I thought it would help me, but it cannot help me. It cannot tell me who I am because anyone can be someone in the types, which makes me feel like if I am truly a type, I am no one. I am not me, I am just some person in a box who don't want to leave because the box tells me who I am, and that is not who I am.
> 
> However, I do understand your wish to figure out your type. I suggest looking at functions, because ISFJ, INFP, INFJ and ISFP are completely different types even though they are all introverted and feelers. Functions can help you figure out which type you definitely are not, and which ones you lean towards.
> 
> ...


I can just relate to almost everything you wrote. Even though I've always had a loving family and good friend group I never really felt understood or like I belong somewhere. I've always felt like there was something wrong with me, like everyone was just being themselves and I was just going through phases, never really understanding who I am. Now that I'm older I feel like I'm more myself, I know what I like and what I don't, I know what kind of people I want to surround myself and which people I want to avoid but still, I feel the constant need to "find myself" or just have some kind of insight which would help me figure it out. 

I'm probably talking rubbish again because my brain puts words faster than I can type them and that's when I create this kind of mess but I just want to thank you for your post, it really means a lot.


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## rapunzel (Oct 19, 2015)

aurly said:


> I put you in the INFP box, for now.
> 
> What makes you think you're Introverted, though?


Being in crowds makes me anxious, I never go out with huge friend groups and prefer meeting just one friend at a time, I spend most of my time alone (reading, writing, watching shows and movies, learning ..) and it calms me down and makes me happy, I hate parties and hate being the center of attention (though I know that not all extroverts are the life of the party or love being the center of attention), I focus on my thoughts and my inner dialogue instead of others. I'm not very into meeting new people, only if I feel like they have the same interests and thoughts as I do. 

I'm definitely introverted, I never questioned it because I've always been like this since I was a child.


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## Lunaena (Nov 16, 2013)

rapunzel said:


> I can just relate to almost everything you wrote. Even though I've always had a loving family and good friend group I never really felt understood or like I belong somewhere. I've always felt like there was something wrong with me, like everyone was just being themselves and I was just going through phases, never really understanding who I am. Now that I'm older I feel like I'm more myself, I know what I like and what I don't, I know what kind of people I want to surround myself and which people I want to avoid but still, I feel the constant need to "find myself" or just have some kind of insight which would help me figure it out.
> 
> I'm probably talking rubbish again because my brain puts words faster than I can type them and that's when I create this kind of mess but I just want to thank you for your post, it really means a lot.


You are not talking rubbish at all. I relate to everything you just wrote too - not feeling belonging anywhere. But as the years has passed and I have grown, I have realized that most people I have known in my life try to stay secure and stay the same, while I try to figure out who I am, and in that process, I lose friends because they do not like when a person changes.

I also think you are introverted, like you claim. People keep thinking that being introverted is special or you have to pass a test to identify as one, which is not true. It is true that "society values extroversion" and "extroversion is more common, most people are extroverted", but being an introvert is not unnatural for a human being.

One important thing is to notice that being anxious in crowds is not a sign of introversion, though.


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## aurly (Jun 15, 2014)

Draumande Romvesen said:


> I also think you are introverted, like you claim. People keep thinking that being introverted is special or you have to pass a test to identify as one, which is not true. It is true that "society values extroversion" and "extroversion is more common, most people are extroverted", but being an introvert is not unnatural for a human being.


Why I asked is not because introversion is _special_ and only for an elite few, but rather when someone studies MBTI for 5 months and still can't figure out half of their type code, there's a chance that the half they did figure out might be wrong. So it's worth questioning.



Draumande Romvesen said:


> One important thing is to notice that being anxious in crowds is not a sign of introversion, though.


And this. What I'm getting from the OP is that she gets _energized_ by social interaction, even if it is little. Being withdrawn is not the same thing as being introverted.


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## rapunzel (Oct 19, 2015)

Draumande Romvesen said:


> You are not talking rubbish at all. I relate to everything you just wrote too - not feeling belonging anywhere. But as the years has passed and I have grown, I have realized that most people I have known in my life try to stay secure and stay the same, while I try to figure out who I am, and in that process, I lose friends because they do not like when a person changes.
> 
> I also think you are introverted, like you claim. People keep thinking that being introverted is special or you have to pass a test to identify as one, which is not true. It is true that "society values extroversion" and "extroversion is more common, most people are extroverted", but being an introvert is not unnatural for a human being.
> 
> One important thing is to notice that being anxious in crowds is not a sign of introversion, though.


I've experienced the same thing. I've only had one close friend that I've had for 16 years now, while I lost some of my friends because of distance, I lost other ones because I quote _"you have changed so much"_. But I don't believe that's true at all, I don't believe people change, I believe people only become more and more who they truly are. And it's just not like me to just keep the same beliefs and the same views on life all my life, that's not what I do and that's also, for me, really small minded to never be open to anything new or to change your point of view.

I never really questioned my Introversion and if someone tells me I'm an extrovert (which happens sometimes, probably when I'm feeling comfortable around someone) I tend to be just really surprised. I just don't see any evidence why I should be an extrovert so I never considered it and still don't consider it.

That's true ! Sorry if I put it the wrong way, I just sometimes forget that my anxiety doesn't have to do anything with overall Introversion, it's just who I am.


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## rapunzel (Oct 19, 2015)

aurly said:


> Why I asked is not because introversion is _special_ and only for an elite few, but rather when someone studies MBTI for 5 months and still can't figure out half of their type code, there's a chance that the half they did figure out might be wrong. So it's worth questioning.
> 
> 
> 
> And this. What I'm getting from the OP is that she gets _energized_ by social interaction, even if it is little. Being withdrawn is not the same thing as being introverted.


I don't really get energized if I talk to people and, especially if I talk to a lot of them, I feel exhausted. I also don't have this really strong need to talk to them because I feel energized after I read a book or watched a movie. Sure I like being with my best friend or even close friends and I enjoy spending time with them but even after that, I need time alone. That's why I never do sleepovers because I need time to recharge, if I don't get this time I feel really depressed and, like I sad, exhausted.


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## Lunaena (Nov 16, 2013)

aurly said:


> Why I asked is not because introversion is _special_ and only for an elite few, but rather when someone studies MBTI for 5 months and still can't figure out half of their type code, there's a chance that the half they did figure out might be wrong. So it's worth questioning.
> 
> 
> 
> And this. What I'm getting from the OP is that she gets _energized_ by social interaction, even if it is little. Being withdrawn is not the same thing as being introverted.


I did not direct it at you, but it is still something I have in mind when people claim to be introverted. I also agree that it is worth questioning.


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## aurly (Jun 15, 2014)

rapunzel said:


> I don't really get energized if I talk to people and, especially if I talk to a lot of them, I feel exhausted. I also don't have this really strong need to talk to them because I feel energized after I read a book or watched a movie. Sure I like being with my best friend or even close friends and I enjoy spending time with them but even after that, I need time alone. That's why I never do sleepovers because I need time to recharge, if I don't get this time I feel really depressed and, like I sad, exhausted.


This does sound like introversion. I'd say INFP is likely.


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## giraffegator (Dec 28, 2014)

yeah INFP seems likely to me. I feel like you are using Fi, and N seems more likely than S for your second letter because of your focus on concepts, words and idea.
INFP also jibes with your passion for knowing yourself better.

ISFP would make sense with a struggle for expressing yourself with words, however, I get the sense from ISFPs that they don't care about that very much - they tend not to value verbal and written expression.


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## aurly (Jun 15, 2014)

Hmm. After my previous post I was reading that needing to recharge after social interaction is not just for introverts, but also Highly Sensitive extraverts. I wonder if there's any truth to that. If there is, HSP E is also a possibility for you.

So, let me ask... when you're being social, do you tend to _initiate_ conversations, or do you mostly _respond_?


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## Whitewolf (Sep 21, 2015)

THat's a big point. Basically, however, INFJ and INFP are as well differentiable than ENFJ and ENFP.
Basically, what weights a lot between XNFJ and XNFP is the couple Ni+Fe and Fi+Ne.
So, what are the differences? Ni is very specific, and conveys to ONE and ONE SINGLE vision of the world. Ni is going to take all the details of the world around you and then spit out the ultimate meaning of the situation. 
Ne instead is more generic: it takes all the data and stick together, using personal rules (Ti or Fi). It's what is going to happen? maybe, but who cares, it's amazing this way!
Fi and Fe are different because one is going to take your personal morality, while the other is going to measure how the others feels. Fi users are a lot tuned on their own feelings, they know exactly how they feel, while Fe are prettily good to know how you feel and to adjust their actions toward controlling or make it more positive. For this, Fe are more prone to express feelings while Fi need time to feel sure that the others will understand it. 
So, summing the things: XNFJ has got very strong interpersonal skills: they can understand what are you feeling and work toward it, making you feel at home. XNFJ's are generally charismatic or seductive, they know how to comunicate their own feelings and, their most ability, understand people. 
XNFP, au contraire, are very interesting people: they are very rich inside, they have their own world and they will love to make you explore it. on external side, they treat people as they percieve them. They are loyaler but also more ruthless in punishing enemies than XNFJ's

Actually, reading your post, I see lots of Fi and Si. Your feeling strange and different from the others (even if they like you) is something very INFP. 
For more, I saw you a lot tied into feeling stuff, instead creating. Don't misunderstand me: you seem to be a very sensitive person and I'm sure that you will write wonderful poems, still you are not the one who expresses discomfort, rage and similiar. You're more the one who perceives them and then works over them. 
Ok, I'll explain it more clearly: Judgers are basically acheivers: they see things faulty and then they are going to tell other people to work toward it. Percievers are insted doers: they will take their knowledge and use it to create something. Errors matters to them, but they will solve them, by themselves. 
Said this, you feel alone because you thinks that no one is going to see what you really are. That's something J's are not going to think. Or care. Because J's live their own self. They may feel disliked but not liked from what they are not. 
P's instead have less confidence with external reality, since the most important process is inside them. So lots of times, P sees that other people are seeing them as different because they are not focused in what they show to the others, but in how they feel.
A J is going to dress properly to a job interview because they are very righteous, so no problem to dress this way. P's instead going to dress because it's a convention still will feel awfull doing it, because it's not the realy "him".

SO, for me, you're an INFP. 

Hope it helps :3


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