# Gossip & instincts?



## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

Would you say SOC-first and/or SOC-second would be more likely to be interested in, or engage in gossiping? I personally believe it could be a little related, considering that you need some form of awareness of the dynamics and interconnectedness to be able to keep up with gossip and recent events. At the same time, it could just be due to individual differences. 

*SOC-lasts, do you pay attention to, or find gossip interesting?*

*SOC-first & seconders, thoughts on this?*

PS: Gossip here is not meant as negative. It's simply meant as a tendency to keep up with the latest events and such in whatever group or social structure.


----------



## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

I don't see a correlation. Keeping up with gossip, as in actively seeking it out, and enjoying it (the entertainment value) when someone else brings it up to you are different things. I know some very task-oriented So/Sps who abhor gossip and Sx/Sps with skype lists a mile long who chat everyone's damn ear off, know who's fuckin whom and what not. 

In general, I don't favour typing by conversation topics. That's something I am considering editing out of my resource thread. For example, I am SP first and rarely discuss work, finances etc. I can be very concerned about whether my friends have been eating/sleeping well lofl, but SP stuff is rarely what I discuss. I have friends (usually close) with whom conversation revolves around sex, men, relationships, poetry, adventure. I have some friends who talk politics with me. If it's electoral politics, I tune out instantly because it bores the shit out of me. I am more fascinated by war and violence lol. Some of these friends were classmates at grad school (Poli. Sci). It really varies from person to person. Gossip, I have found to be unrelated to variant stacking. It doesn't take much social attunement to laugh at people's personal bullshit when they're the kinds to air their dirty laundry publicly. If "gossip" is about boring crap, then it's not interesting. If it's juicy and entertaining, I am all ears baby.  I am, admittedly, not interested in recent events, however. They're neither fun to laugh at nor particularly intriguing, fmp. 

Sp/Sx


----------



## Sonny (Oct 14, 2008)

It has a link only in being aware of interconnections.

Personally I have less interest than most around me appear to in what so-and-so did in oh-such-a-scandalous-way, I tend to tune most of it out especially when it either bores me, has no productive use beyond bitching (people who whinge for the sake of it annoy me), or clashes with my Fe that suggests it's not cool to say something behind someone's back if you wouldn't have the balls to say it too them and it would be uncomfortable if they found out via other means. I find it more interesting that X is gossiping about Y to me/people because it shows something about _that _dynamic, maybe Y isn't as high on the social ladder as I would have presumed, maybe X has issues that I could play on to further myself. It's the dynamics that are of interests here, not the gossip.

My main interest in gossip is best shown from my time in the Army, I would pick up smoking whenever I was on exercise or a course because there was normally a strong representation of those with higher rank than I in the smokers areas, this is where I was able to keep up on the latest news of what was happening tomorrow, or what was/wasn't important to me achieving the best result with minimal effort. So it's news more than gossip, it wasn't talking about people behind their backs, it was information.

Most of the gossip I hear is about pulling someone else down, or telling a juicy story, it's not about keeping up with things, it's more malicious or self interested than that. I would not consider that kind type related.

/So dom


ETA: I'm often one of the last to know about scandalous gossipy things cause I don't care, however I am typically the first to notice X has an issue with Y and see exactly why. Interpersonal dynamics isn't the same as what an individual has been doing.


----------



## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

Yeah people kept insisting I am sx/so or even so/sx instead of sx/sp because I always want to know what is going on, in some sense, or talk about it, and yes, sx/so actually fits me perfectly.


----------



## yamidemonwolf (Feb 13, 2013)

I won't normally talk about it, but I keep very aware of those people around me. I only have one friend who I gossip with, in a designated fashion when something particularly interesting happens I'll ask her to "gossip like bitches" with me. It isn't that I necessarily care a lot of the time, but nitpicking little things can bring larger things to my attention. I could come to find out what's going on in my tertiary social sphere, and that's really useful to me as my hobby and focus focuses around these people and how they relate to each other and me.

--so/sx 6w5


----------



## Chesire Tower (Jan 19, 2013)

No, I don't care too much for gossip; although, I always want to be informed about the people I care about.

so/sx 5w4


----------



## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

kaleidoscope said:


> Would you say SOC-first and/or SOC-second would be more likely to be interested in, or engage in gossiping? I personally believe it could be a little related, considering that you need some form of awareness of the dynamics and interconnectedness to be able to keep up with gossip and recent events. At the same time, it could just be due to individual differences.
> *SOC-lasts, do you pay attention to, or find gossip interesting?*
> *SOC-first & seconders, thoughts on this?*
> PS: Gossip here is not meant as negative. It's simply meant as a tendency to keep up with the latest events and such in whatever group or social structure.


going with your definition (which covers the intentionality rather than just an activity), I would say there is at least a modest correlation

as an Sx/Sp, I'm pretty bad at keeping tabs on people, staying up to date and having any idea of what the hell is going on around me (though I blame ENFP and Sexual 7 as much for this as being Social last); however, some topics of gossip that would interest me are
- an interesting story
- anything with juicy details (though they just as often make me jealous...)
- knowing who (that's hot) is single (though I usually have other methods of determining this, if I don't just ask the person directly)
- listening to the ins and outs of a given industry
- interpersonal interactions that have a "plot" to them (such as a strategic power struggle)


overall, it benefits me to talk to an So/Sp from time to time, because, unlike So, Sp and Sx are both very single minded and miss a great deal of what's really going on and how it effects us. Sp is great at discerning what can/will directly effect you, but So is more aware of the "ecosystem" if you will and more aware of indirect effects both on the self and others.


----------



## Helios (May 30, 2012)

Actively seeking out gossip? Not really.

Engaging in gossip when talking about some contemptible member of the human species for venting purposes? Oh yes. I don't see much of a correlation for what it's worth, but I think the nature of gossip varies a bit between the types. @Sonny explained it fairly well.


----------



## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

Ananael said:


> Actively seeking out gossip? Not really.
> 
> *Engaging in gossip when talking about some contemptible member of the human species for venting purposes? Oh yes*. I don't see much of a correlation for what it's worth, but I think the nature of gossip varies a bit between the types. @Sonny explained it fairly well.


I have to fight the temptation to do this. telling them to their face is much more satisfying


----------



## Helios (May 30, 2012)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> I have to fight the temptation to do this. telling them to their face is much more satisfying


Usually I'd like to do this, but when I'm trying to be as tactful as possible for damage control purposes, some people don't take it well. And then if I get provoked enough I'll just be more nasty than is necessary because fuck them, lol. I don't like reacting to people, but sometimes they make it so hard. This was the case when I cut off all ties with this one ISFP 4w3 I used to know.


----------



## Tater Tot (May 28, 2012)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> I have to fight the temptation to do this. telling them to their face is much more satisfying


rofl but then they actually argue with you. :laughing: I would love to just tell somebody they suck and I hate them and then they shrug it off and move on. Whenever I get angry at somebody I just feel like insulting them for some reason, which is much easier to do behind their back.


----------



## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

Tater Tot said:


> rofl but then they actually argue with you. :laughing: I would love to just tell somebody they suck and I hate them and then they shrug it off and move on. Whenever I get angry at somebody I just feel like insulting them for some reason, which is much easier to do behind their back.


meh, this is too passive-aggressive for me :tongue:


----------



## Tater Tot (May 28, 2012)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> meh, this is too passive-aggressive for me :tongue:


I think the world would be better if we were all like this lady:


----------



## MissyMaroon (Feb 24, 2010)

I keep up with world news and politics through my Sp/So friend. As for scandalous, juicy gossip type stuff, I do not seek it out, but it comes to my attention through news commentary shows that I watch and it's very entertaining. I really do like knowing this stuff and "being in the loop". It's just that I suck at it naturally and usually have other sources to inform me. I also have an So-dom roommate who helps me keep with with random things in pop-culture, particularly nerdy/counter-culture stuff.

Oh, I do like knowing about movies coming out. I love movies. I tend to like knowing everything going on with people of interest to me - actors, filmmakers, authors, etc. that I like. Friends included. I don't like feeling like I'm behind! XD But I often am.

I am an Sp/Sx and I often drift away in my own bubble. The thing is I do like being told this sort of stuff. XD It's a type of intelligence/orientation that I lack and envy.


----------



## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

kaleidoscope said:


> *SOC-lasts, do you pay attention to, or find gossip interesting?*
> 
> *SOC-first & seconders, thoughts on this?*


Judging from my friends, sp/sx takes the cake on this closely followed by so/sx. Secondary sexual instinct makes them interested in talking about relationships, sex, personal favorites, and other sx-related topics. Sx/sp's don't do so openly do it but they will do relationship gossip with select few whom they feel that they can trust.


----------



## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

cyamitide said:


> Judging from my friends, sp/sx takes the cake on this closely followed by so/sx. Secondary sexual instinct makes them interested in talking about relationships, sex, personal favorites, and other sx-related topics. Sx/sp's don't do so openly do it but they will do relationship gossip with select few whom they feel that they can trust.


I'd have to agree. Sx secondaries enjoy that stuff a great deal. I see this in both Sp/Sx and So/Sx. As a contrast, Sx lasts may not see the usefulness to it all or see it as a waste of effort when they could be focusing on things more pertinent to power dynamics and so on. The So/Sps (to a lesser extent Sp/So) I know are usually somewhat gossip averse, and what they are interested in is far beyond "gossip". It's a kind of social attunement, that's approached with detachment and an eye for for utility. Gossip doesn't have to be malicious at all, but it's rarely the "juicy" (beyond just sex and relationships, even going too deep into or focused on stuff like personal favourites, in a conversation, can be a turn off for them) bits that Sx lasts are after. Sx secondaries go for that a lot more.


----------



## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

Cosmic Orgasm said:


> The So/Sps (to a lesser extent Sp/So) I know are usually somewhat gossip averse, and what they are interested in is far beyond "gossip".


I agree with this. When my two sp/sx friends start talking about relationships and sex, the third so/sp girl disappears from the group. She's more than willing to contribute if the discussion is on such topics as movies or books or food, but the personal details of people's lives don't capture her interest.


----------



## Paradigm (Feb 16, 2010)

As an sp/sx myself, I don't enjoy most of what people say when they talk about others. It's been my experience that the so/sp types will eagerly share information about others, often what I would deem private information (health status, relationship issues, etc.). I have no interest in hearing who left the neighbor's house last night, or if some second-cousin I never met had a divorce; yet, these seem to be popular topics with many (not all) of the not-SOC-last people I know.

However, I will admit that I enjoy hearing some things. How stupid someone was, for example. I like watching health-related "documentaries," which isn't really _gossip _but it is highly personal. Thinking about it, I suppose I like hearing _stories_ more than gossip: "I was at the store and..." vs. "Did you hear about Mrs. Smith's [insert situation]?"


----------



## Cantarella (Sep 3, 2010)

I'm So/Sx, and though I do gossip sometimes, it's usually not for its own sake. It's almost always relevant to WHAT I was talking about with the person. For instance, if my mother was suggesting buying my brother a game and I tell her not to, saying that he hated a similar game that our sister bought for him and thought it was boring and childish. Where I work I'm surrounded by meaningless gossip, and it seems like mostly So/Sp and Sp/So types who are indulging in it. It's like they all need to collect and share the life stories of all the 1000+ people who work and shop there. Sometimes I like to cut them off and say something like, "None of that's really any of my business." and see if they take the hint.


----------



## Krelian91 (May 2, 2012)

Cosmic Orgasm said:


> I know some very task-oriented So/Sps who abhor gossip


*raises hand*

For me it's mostly intellectual litter, so I'd rather spend my time collecting more useful information.


----------

