# Why do women enjoy giving random fellatio?



## drummaster350 (Feb 27, 2013)

I'm asking this in all seriousness, but I'd like to know why Women (of any type) would enjoy giving head particularly when we're talking about a random hook up. To me this seems like a very demeaning act on the part of a woman in such a situation. I also look at it as an act of dominance on the man's part. Furthermore, as a heterosexual male I don't quite understand how it's enjoyable to women as she is the giver. Is it the equivalent of the joy a man feels when he kisses a woman's breast? Would any Ladies care to enlighten me?


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## Infermiera (Mar 2, 2012)

drummaster350 said:


> I'm asking this in all seriousness, but I'd like to know why Women (of any type) would enjoy giving head particularly when we're talking about a random hook up. To me this seems like a very demeaning act on the part of a woman in such a situation. I also look at it as an act of dominance on the man's part. Furthermore, as a heterosexual male I don't quite understand how it's enjoyable to women as she is the giver. Is it the equivalent of the joy a man feels when he kisses a woman's breast? Would any Ladies care to enlighten me?



I've never given head before so I don't know why some women enjoy doing this. However I would just like to point out that when a woman goes down on you, doesn't that mean that she has your man parts in her hands and mouth therefore she has the power to do whatever she likes to them? Meaning your manhood is at the mercy of the woman between your legs. You'll have to trust her not to bite or squeeze hard. Like I said, I've never done this so this is all in theory. I'm just curious what makes you think you're the dominant one in this situation.


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## LittleOrange (Feb 11, 2012)

I wonder that too....


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## LiquidLight (Oct 14, 2011)

Maybe the woman doesn't consider it demeaning (there's a difference between wanting to do something or not liking to do something vs. being demeaning). 

I think the issue here is the randomness of the context. The risky thrill seeking behavior of the one-night stand or the random hookup in a nightclub bathroom. That speaks more to the person than any individual action. Within the context of a relationship all of this takes on a very different connotation.


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## Ace Face (Nov 13, 2011)

LiquidLight said:


> Maybe the woman doesn't consider it demeaning (there's a difference between wanting to do something or not liking to do something vs. being demeaning).
> 
> I think the issue here is the randomness of the context. The risky thrill seeking behavior of the one-night stand or the random hookup in a nightclub bathroom. That speaks more to the person than any individual action. Within the context of a relationship all of this takes on a very different connotation.


^That.

Also, if you ask around, a lot of women feel in control when doing it and don't find it demeaning in the least. If people find it demeaning, I would likely peg it to social standards of what it means to get on your knees or some dumb shit. It's whatevs.


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## Jabberbroccoli (Mar 19, 2011)

"The Myers Briggs" forum?

not the 

"Sex and Relationships" forum?









Also, @_Ace Face_ ... when dafuq did you become an INTJ? I thought you'd been typed as an ENFP? Is this just a joke like your signature alludes to?


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## drummaster350 (Feb 27, 2013)

Infermiera said:


> Meaning your manhood is at the mercy of the woman between your legs. You'll have to trust her not to bite or squeeze hard. Like I said, I've never done this so this is all in theory. I'm just curious what makes you think you're the dominant one in this situation.


Good Point. I thought about pointing that out in my question along with the fact that in many ways, if said sexual act is followed by multiple such encounters, the man has to rely on the fact that the woman will be willing to perform the act again. That all being said, say someone were to walk into the room and see a woman giving head. From a sheer visual/positional stance who is going to look like the more dominant person? In my mind it's the receiver. In all likelihood she didn't go down on him just to bite his genitals. You would be in your rights to think this is male bias? I'm willing to concede there's some truth to that and it's unfortunate that in our modern culture men are encouraged to have many random sexual encounters to prove their masculinity. We all know about the the double standard that is then applied to Women. Which is why I'm a sincere Christian who believes in the very principled stand of celibacy in singleness (for both sexes) and the reservation of sex for a committed marriage. That being said I understand that sex happens. I hope no one thinks I'm trying to make light of this. I am asking this in all curiosity and humility.


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## Alumina (Jan 22, 2013)

She enjoys giving it because whether you are male or female, one person could have a high level of horniness than the other. Thus willing to put themselves in availability for such performances.


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## Schweeeeks (Feb 12, 2013)

drummaster350 said:


> That all being said, say someone were to walk into the room and see a woman giving head. From a sheer visual/positional stance who is going to look like the more dominant person? In my mind it's the receiver.


How would this happen in the first place? I don't think most girls are gonna give head in a place where people are walking around and can obviously see her. (not counting exhibitionists)
And also why does it matter who is dominant and who is not? Giving is fun. I have heard both genders say that. It does make you feel powerful if you can give your lover a really good orgasm and oral is usually one of the best ways.
But back to the "down on your knees" part, being submissive can be a turn on. If the guy decides to look down on a girl for enjoying that, he's not worth the time. People like all sorts of stuff in bed. Don't see why it should reflect on them as a person.


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## Jabberbroccoli (Mar 19, 2011)

I mean, I enjoy fingering and eating girls out, because I enjoy watching them writhe in pleasure. I'd expect it's a similar sort of thing.


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## drummaster350 (Feb 27, 2013)

Alumina said:


> She enjoys giving it because whether you are male or female, one person could have a high level of horniness than the other. Thus willing to put themselves in availability for such performances.


This is a very INTP response :laughing:. She's horny, duh! I'm not sure it helped me much tho :happy:. My best friend since 2nd grade has been an INTP so don't think that's a put down. It just reminded me of him. I know I'm going against the prevailing wisdom of our culture but, I'm of the opinion that we're a higher species than animals and that sex has more meaning to it than the just the sheer act of getting off.


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## cudibloop (Oct 11, 2012)

Because girls like penises. The fact you asked this is an issue beyond myers Briggs


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

drummaster350 said:


> I'm asking this in all seriousness, but I'd like to know why Women (of any type) would enjoy giving head particularly when we're talking about a random hook up. To me this seems like a very demeaning act on the part of a woman in such a situation. I also look at it as an act of dominance on the man's part. Furthermore, as a heterosexual male I don't quite understand how it's enjoyable to women as she is the giver. Is it the equivalent of the joy a man feels when he kisses a woman's breast? Would any Ladies care to enlighten me?



I think you may not be reading the situation correctly. I'd say any woman who is swirling her tongue around my winkie is far from being demeaned, she's pretty much got my FULL ATTENTION. Whose really got the power in this position, the person giving, or the person recieving? 

Also, wouldn't this be more appropriate in the "Sex and Relationships" subfolder?


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## Elaine (Sep 1, 2012)

Personally, I think those are women with serious self esteem issues. They may not realize it, but anyone who would put themselves at risk like that (for oral cancer) with some random stranger has got serious issues with themselves. No self respecting woman would do that, after all, you can't be self respecting if you are willing to trash your own body on a random stranger. How would you like to start licking a random stranger with god knows what kind of disease/virus she is carrying.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolescent_sexuality_in_the_United_States
"
Cancer HPV, the most common STI, causes many types of cancer including oral cancer and cancer of the cervix, anus, and penis.[SUP][79][/SUP] In recent years there has been a huge surge in HPV-associated oral cancers.[SUP][79][/SUP] Between 1988 and 2004, HPV-associated oropharyngeal cancers rose 225%.[SUP][79][/SUP] "Oral sex is the primary culprit."[SUP][79][/SUP] The incidence of HPV-associated cancers that affect men is growing along with the cancers that affect women.[SUP][79]"[/SUP]


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## Eos_Machai (Feb 3, 2013)

In pornography fellatio is often depicted as a demeaning act of male domination, it's for example quite common that the man holds the womans head and pushes it down over the cock, sometimes so she can barely breath. In these cases it's clear that it has nothing at all to do with the womans pleasure. And I've heard from women I know that it's not uncommon that men actually take after this kind of behaviour. 

But of course this is just an attitude to fellatio, and there's demeaning ways to perform all kinds of sexual acts. I can't see why fellatio _in it self_ would be demeaning or submissive for that sake. The giving part can also be active and in control, that's often the case. Sure no one's got G-spots on their mouths, you won't get an orgasm by having a dick there. But sex is at least as much about giving pleasure to the other person and being sensual in general.


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## drummaster350 (Feb 27, 2013)

Jabberbroccoli said:


> I enjoy watching them writhe in pleasure. I'd expect it's a similar sort of thing.


I suppose I could see it being enjoyable from that perspective. I guess when it comes to oral my own sexual preferences would run in another direction. Nobody has really seized on the underlying social dynamic here because I think the "Get down on your knees" attitude toward fellatio is very prevalent. The dearly departed Christopher Hitchens even does at joke about it in a youtube video entitled "Hitchens does standup segement 2/2". Starting at time point 2:32. I don't have enough posts to be able to link the video :happy:.


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## LiquidLight (Oct 14, 2011)

I think you are looking at things from a very male point of view. And conceptualizing it thusly. The idea of dominance, or submission, that one person is being degraded or has the intent of degrading themselves represents a certain point of view that I'm not sure actually bears true in reality.

One of the things that some of these pick up gurus and so forth talk about is the different levels of compliance. That people, particularly people who come from strong traditional cultural backgrounds (though not exclusively) sort of carry the idea that women see sex as the ultimate act of compliance. That the highest act of compliance (that is getting someone to do something for you) is sex. Part of this is the idealization of the Virgin Mary that occurred in the 12th and 13th centuries shifted the idea of women away from the more earthy, sensual ideal that was characterized by the area of chivalry, and placed squarely into an ideal of impossible virtuousness (at the same time the witch burnings began - the women burned of course were not actual withes but rather did not hold up to the standard of impossible virtuousness that had become so vogue).

So what does that have to do with getting head in a bathroom? Well there have been a number of studies that have shown that people actually do not take sex, or the sex act that seriously. When a group was asked, for instance, if after a few days of hanging out with someone, talking to them and getting to know them, would they sleep with the person, many of them said, "well if things seem to be going okay, probably." That same group was asked whether they would let that person that they'd been talking to a few days, if they'd lend them their car for the weekend. Almost everyone said no. Some emphatically. What that tells us that, on the ladder of compliance that sex is not the highest rung. Not even near the top. There are a great many women who will sleep with you before cooking you dinner. Because they requiere different levels of investment and everybody engages in these things based on their own upbringing and complexes in a different way. 

The reason I say you are looking at this from a male point of view is 1) because you are conceptualizing things in terms of dominance, which tends to be a more masculine concept, I think women would see it more as an act of sharing or perhaps a way of establishing connection, or just fun. Remember if men like fellatio or dominant sex or whatever to feel masculine, you have to consider that women want their femininity to be excited as well. Part of that femininity as conceptualized in our culture comes with a but of submission. It may be not be equitable or fair but it is reality. A lot of women, respect a man who acts like a man (we sort of live in era that has taught us to be manly is bad, which is wrong. To subjugate and demean is bad.) 

If you were to take a survay, lets say on this site of the things women routinely look for in a man, it will probably read as 1) confidence. 2) sense of humor and 3) dominance. They might not use the term dominance, because of the negative connotations that it carries, but they might conceptualize it as 'a man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go get it.' In many cases those things excite (as Jung and many other psychologists and studiers of human behavior observed) her sense of the feminine. This generation has been taught that gender is bad. Rather than focus on removing the barriers, social, political or otherwise that have kept women down, we have simply taken the easy way out and simply alluded to a world that tries to be gender-less. And yet this is filled with such contradictions. Gender differences do exist. As sure as cultural differences. And those differences when taken in the proper context should illuminate us and broaden us (the problem is that traditionally men, fearing what they don't understand have tried to control it, rather than understand it). 

Here's the thing. The world is a very big place with a lot of people out there who have very different experiences and ideas about how things work. A Christian approach is an admirable approach. It's my own approach in fact. But it is not the only approach, and there are plenty of people who live better by habit or accident than many Christians do by faith. It often comes as a surprise but there are probably women out there who are dying to do the very thing you claim to be so demeaning. And would find it gratifying. I think sometimes when we look at these things we have to get out of our own heads and look at it from the perspective of the other person you see that a lot of times these things are not that big of a deal.


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## drummaster350 (Feb 27, 2013)

Eos_Machai said:


> In pornography fellatio is often depicted as a demeaning act of male domination, it's for example quite common that the man holds the womans head and pushes it down over the cock, sometimes so she can barely breath. In these cases it's clear that it has nothing at all to do with the womans pleasure. And I've heard from women I know that it's not uncommon that men actually take after this kind of behaviour.


This is really the underlying issue for me. I don't watch pornography, but I don't even want to know what that would look like. We have a lot of men running around who don't know how to treat women with dignity and respect (not that they're always deserving of it mind you) and who's only lesson in how to treat them comes from said films.


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## drummaster350 (Feb 27, 2013)

cudibloop said:


> The fact you asked this is an issue beyond myers Briggs


I'm not really asking this from a myers briggs perspective. I'm just throwing it out there for conversation :happy:. I'd know there was a sex&relationships thread I would have posted it ther.


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## kareem (Jan 30, 2013)

why is it called fellatio?


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## drummaster350 (Feb 27, 2013)

LiquidLight said:


> I think sometimes when we look at these things we have to get out of our own heads and look at it from the perspective of the other person you see that a lot of times these things are not that big of a deal.


I appreciate your post very interesting. That really was the reason behind my post to share my perspective and to get others.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

drummaster350 said:


> I suppose I could see it being enjoyable from that perspective. I guess when it comes to oral my own sexual preferences would run in another direction. Nobody has really seized on the underlying social dynamic here because I think the "Get down on your knees" attitude toward fellatio is very prevalent. The dearly departed Christopher Hitchens even does at joke about it in a youtube video entitled "Hitchens does standup segement 2/2". Starting at time point 2:32. I don't have enough posts to be able to link the video :happy:.


 @drummaster350 

I got your back:wink:


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## firedell (Aug 5, 2009)

Seeing @LiquidLight participating in something that has nothing to do with cognitive functions, or Jung is a whole new concept to me. xD


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

Elaine said:


> Personally, I think those are women with serious self esteem issues. They may not realize it, but anyone who would put themselves at risk like that (for oral cancer) with some random stranger has got serious issues with themselves. No self respecting woman would do that, after all, you can't be self respecting if you are willing to trash your own body on a random stranger. How would you like to start licking a random stranger with god knows what kind of disease/virus she is carrying.
> 
> 
> Adolescent sexuality in the United States - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
> ...


Do you honestly think, in terms of a hookup, that the average person is thinking about getting oral cancer? As they are not thinking about it, there is no choice being made to risk their body; they're just hooking up.

also, statistics are misleading. There are probably around 115-120 million adult women in the USA today, and 21,000 HPV-associated cancers = a rate of incidence somewhere around .01%. That's percent, so the number is .0001. Even having had that percentage doubled means little.


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## Alumina (Jan 22, 2013)

drummaster350 said:


> This is a very INTP response :laughing:. She's horny, duh! I'm not sure it helped me much tho :happy:. My best friend since 2nd grade has been an INTP so don't think that's a put down. It just reminded me of him. I know I'm going against the prevailing wisdom of our culture but, I'm of the opinion that we're a higher species than animals and that sex has more meaning to it than the just the sheer act of getting off.


It is said from a human perspective that we are indeed a higher species than animals. But looking at human behaviour it seems the term "animals" is rooted from us. Animals themselves present etiquette. However, i do not think sex should be related to this... as we are talking about the childish way of getting off. Which is narrowed to 'women', if women (as for anybody) makes the choice to demean themselves, then let it be. What can you do about it.. Besides flicking on some of their latest self-demeaning video's.


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

oops


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## KittyKraz13 (Jan 3, 2012)

kareem said:


> why is it called fellatio?


Actually something I can answer in this thread!

It comes from the Latin word _Fellare _which means 'to suck.' A _fellator _(fellare + 'tor' which is a masculine agent noun) is someone who gives fellatio, literally meaning 'fellatio-man', and a female who likes to give fellatio is called a _fellatrix, _using the feminine agent noun suffix -trix to mean 'fellatio-woman.'


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## Elaine (Sep 1, 2012)

Jennywocky said:


> Do you honestly think, in terms of a hookup, that the average person is thinking about getting oral cancer? As they are not thinking about it, there is no choice being made to risk their body; they're just hooking up.
> 
> also, statistics are misleading. There are probably around 115-120 million adult women in the USA today, and 21,000 HPV-associated cancers = a rate of incidence somewhere around .01%. That's percent, so the number is .0001. Even having had that percentage doubled means little.


Yes, I think a lot of people are not really thinking about anything ... it's easier to just not think and thus have the plausible deniability of having no responsibility whatsoever. 

Yes, the chance of getting cancer is low, but that doesn't make it non-existent. Also, the chances are higher than your statistics show, as many people are in long term monogamous relationships or not having sex at all, so technically those people are not in the large pool. The people at the highest risk are precisely those who would hookup with strangers. And for the people who wins the Russian roulette, it messes with your life and the lives of people who care about you. And it's not just cancer risks, there are lots of other diseases that can damage your chances of getting pregnant later on in life, and also diseases that you can pass on to your future life partner, or your future children. And all that for what ... a lousy stranger you will never see again, who obviously doesn't care about you, because if he does, he wouldn't be letting you do that.

Go do a survey of husbands and fathers and see how many of them think it's wonderful that their wives or daughters are going down on random strangers. Like I said, no self respecting woman would do it. And no self respecting man would want to be associated with the women doing it. And this goes for the other gender too. No self respecting woman would want to be associated with a man doing it with random women in town.


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

Elaine said:


> Yes, I think a lot of people are not really thinking about anything ... it's easier to just not think and thus have the plausible deniability of having no responsibility whatsoever.


You're really reading into this situation.
They're not THINKING.
Which also includes not thinking about plausible deniability. 
They're just doing something.

Any refutation comes later, after the fact, once they start thinking.
They are not plotting all this out ahead of time, they're just living in the moment.

I suspect that you (as well as I) think about things far more ahead of time than the average person.



> Yes, the chance of getting cancer is low, but that doesn't make it non-existent. Also, the chances are higher than your statistics show, as many couples are in long term monogamous relationships, so technically those people are not in the large pool. The people at the highest risk are precisely those who would hookup with strangers. And for the people who wins the Russian roulette, it messes with your life and the lives of people who care about you. And it's not just cancer risks, there are lots of other diseases that can damage your chances of getting pregnant later on in life, and also diseases that you can pass on to your future life partner, or your future children.


You can quibble on the numbers, but they're still very low. Do you actually know anyone with this form of cancer? Just curious.

You're discussing impact IF you happen to lose the cancer lotto. I might as well say the same about driving... what if I get hit and end up being paralyzed for life? Should I avoid getting into a car?

My point here is simply that saying something has increased by 225% might not mean anything, really, in terms of increased risk if the numbers are immensely low to begin with. It's like when I examined circumcision and how effective it was in preventing disease in the US in young boys; the stats were saying something like there was a 57% increase in diseases if a boy was not circumcised, but since we were only talking 6 boys out of 100,000 or something who got a disease, that amounted to any extra 1-3 boys. In terms of a particular individual's risk, it is almost negligible when compared to the idea of cutting off viable tissue. So quoting a number like 225% is actually very misleading. Yes, for those few extra individuals, the outcome is traumatic; but the risk is still very low.


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## Elaine (Sep 1, 2012)

Jennywocky said:


> You're really reading into this situation.
> They're not THINKING.
> Which also includes not thinking about plausible deniability.
> They're just doing something.
> ...


Yes, and I am saying that these are not self respecting people. For whatever reason they choose to do that, if you dig far enough down below the surface, there is a lack of self respect there.

No, I do not ask other people what kind of diseases they are getting. I am not nosy by nature. Also, the circle of people I hang out with are in general not doing such things, so I would guess their chances of getting sick due to that would be non-existent. 

If you can live a decent life without ever getting into a car, then do so. I suspect most of us either have to drive ourselves or have others drive us in order to live a normal life. But no, none of us have to go down on random strangers in order to live a normal life.


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## drummaster350 (Feb 27, 2013)

Jennywocky said:


> You're really reading into this situation.
> They're not THINKING.
> Which also includes not thinking about plausible deniability.
> They're just doing something.
> ...


You bring up a very good point which then brings in Myers Briggs. You've perfectly described an SP worldview. Impulsive "Experiencers" who live in the moment. Anybody who has any level of sexuality must realize that sex is a very strong impulse. It only gets stronger once you've experienced it. So I think that experiencer's probably have it the worst when it comes to dealing with a society's sexual ethics. As an intuitive I naturally think ahead. I fell in love with an ESFP once and god she was a lot of fun but her worse trait was not being able to think ahead. She would do things that were harmful to herself and then rationalize it away later.


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## Elaine (Sep 1, 2012)

drummaster350 said:


> You bring up a very good point which then brings in Myers Briggs. You've perfectly described an SP worldview. Impulsive "Experiencers" who live in the moment. Anybody who has any level of sexuality must realize that sex is a very strong impulse. It only gets stronger once you've experienced it. So I think that experiencer's probably have it the worst when it comes to dealing with a society's sexual ethics. As an intuitive I naturally think ahead. I fell in love with an ESFP once and god she was a lot of fun but her worse trait was not being able to think ahead. She would do things that were harmful to herself and then rationalize it away later.


I think that's kind of delusional. Women get very little out of going down on men. The only real payoff is if you love the other person and it's a shared experience. Since we are talking about strangers, there is clearly something else at play. Some seriously f*** up mental issue.


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## drummaster350 (Feb 27, 2013)

Elaine said:


> I think that's kind of delusional. Women get very little out of going down on men. The only real payoff is if you love the other person and it's a shared experience. Since we are talking about strangers, there is clearly something else at play. Some seriously f*** up mental issue.


I'm not ruling out a deeper, more serious issue at the heart of promiscuity. I was simply explaining how a large part of population takes in the world as was @Jennywocky. I think you're being a little close minded if you think that some women don't actually enjoy it. I personally don't understand that, but I could see how someone else could. I don't think you'd be helping the situation out much by telling someone that they've got a f*ckin mental issue. I think it's more to this than just mental processing.


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## Elaine (Sep 1, 2012)

drummaster350 said:


> I'm not ruling out a deeper, more serious issue at the heart of promiscuity. I was simply explaining how a large part of population takes in the world as was @_Jennywocky_. I think you're being a little close minded if you think that some women don't actually enjoy it. I personally don't understand that, but I could see how someone else could. I don't think you'd be helping the situation out much by telling someone that they've got a f*ckin mental issue. I think it's more to this than just mental processing.


No I don't think so. I think any woman who would go down on some random stranger is only doing it because she has a need to feel approval from strangers ... as if she doesn't feel enough approval in her life as it is. They have never found a normal one doing that. I am hoping that these women would get help or raise their self esteem in other ways. It's not about being close-minded. It's about telling things as it is so people don't exploit these women by telling them "good job, you're awesome. yeah, own your sexuality." That's just a bunch of crap fed to these women to keep them there. Exploiting people with self esteem issues.


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## drummaster350 (Feb 27, 2013)

Elaine said:


> No I don't think so. I think any woman who would go down on some random stranger is only doing it because she has a need to feel approval from strangers ... as if she doesn't feel enough approval in her life as it is. They have never found a normal one doing that.


I'm not sure what standards you're qualifying as normal or who the "they" you are referring to is, but I suspect that their is big difference between "what you think" and what reality of the situation is. Bottomline: reality is what matters. Hookups are not necessarily with strangers. It could be someone you've known for a few hours or a few months.


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## Elaine (Sep 1, 2012)

drummaster350 said:


> I'm not sure what standards you're qualifying as normal or who the "they" you are referring to is, but I suspect that their is big difference between "what you think" and what reality of the situation is. Bottomline: reality is what matters. Hookups are not necessarily with strangers. It could be someone you've known for a few hours or a few months.


Sure reality is what matters. What makes you think you are right. What makes you think these women don't have self esteem issues.


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

Elaine said:


> Yes, and I am saying that these are not self respecting people. For whatever reason they choose to do that, if you dig far enough down below the surface, there is a lack of self respect there.


Yes, you've made your point: "I think any woman who does this has mental issues."



> No, I do not ask other people what kind of diseases they are getting. I am not nosy by nature. Also, the circle of people I hang out with are in general not doing such things, so I would guess their chances of getting sick due to that would be non-existent.


So the risk is so high that it's purely theoretical to you, in addition to being mathematically rare as I expressed earlier. 



> If you can live a decent life without ever getting into a car, then do so. I suspect most of us either have to drive ourselves or have others drive us in order to live a normal life. But no, none of us have to go down on random strangers in order to live a normal life.


Again, ignoring my point: Both events can be catastrophic if you have lousy luck, but the chances of the lousy luck are pretty slim. And who are you to judge whether someone choosing to risk the slim odds of contracting something are a sign of their poor character? If it was pretty probable and someone did it, then I'd say they'd have an issue; but bringing up this type of cancer (very rare) as some kind of definitive reason to whitewash a group of people as acting irresponsibly, based on your own personal preferences? I don't even know why you care so much.

Drummaster understands what I'm saying.

(if you want my personal preference, I'm not the kind who goes around having sexual encounters with really anyone I don't know... let alone those I do. But I intuit your judgments here are not coming from a rational basis but from a personal one. You seem almost to despise such women.)


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## drummaster350 (Feb 27, 2013)

Elaine said:


> Sure reality is what matters. What makes you think you are right. What makes you think these women don't have self esteem issues.


I will refer you back to my earlier post where I said that I believe there is a deeper issue at the heart of this subject. I just feel like you're minimizing it to simply self-esteem when their are more factors at play (psychological type being one of them). I don't doubt that a woman who often hooks up with guys that she doesn't know very well could definitely have self-esteem issues. In which case I feel for them.


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## Elaine (Sep 1, 2012)

Jennywocky said:


> Yes, you've made your point: "I think any woman who does this has mental issues."
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I don't know any disease anyone else is having. I am not the type to ask. So do I know if my coworkers have cavities ... I don't. But that doesn't mean they don't have cavities. 

I care so much because I feel like a lot of these women are being exploited. They are being fed lies - that going down on random men is fine, is good, is normal, when it is not. I want as many women as possible to have enough self esteem to take good care of themselves. Perhaps it is too much to ask, but I want men to have the decency to not exploit these women too.


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## drummaster350 (Feb 27, 2013)

Elaine said:


> I want as many women as possible to have enough self esteem to take good care of themselves. Perhaps it is too much to ask, but I want men to have the decency to not exploit these women too.


No, that's not too much to ask.


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## Jabberbroccoli (Mar 19, 2011)

drummaster350 said:


> I suppose I could see it being enjoyable from that perspective. I guess when it comes to oral my own sexual preferences would run in another direction. Nobody has really seized on the underlying social dynamic here because I think the "Get down on your knees" attitude toward fellatio is very prevalent. The dearly departed Christopher Hitchens even does at joke about it in a youtube video entitled "Hitchens does standup segement 2/2". Starting at time point 2:32. I don't have enough posts to be able to link the video :happy:.


 Someone's probably said this, but I don't feel like reading through the other responses. The genital region is around the waist area in a human being, unless you are a midget (or a very young child, but if you're getting head from a very young child I'd rather you keep that to yourself), you're either going to need to get on your knees, touch your toes then awkwardly arch your head, or both parties sit/lay down in some fashion. If the two people involved aren't in the lying down mood, getting down on your knees is the most anatomically practical option.


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

Elaine said:


> I don't know any disease anyone else is having. I am not the type to ask. So do I know if my coworkers have cavities ... I don't. But that doesn't mean they don't have cavities.
> 
> I care so much because I feel like a lot of these women are being exploited. They are being fed lies - that going down on random men is fine, is good, is normal, when it is not. I want as many women as possible to have enough self esteem to take good care of themselves. Perhaps it is too much to ask, but I want men to have the decency to not exploit these women too.


Thank you for explaining that.

I resonate with that too. I don't want to see other women doing things from a basis of lack of self-respect or to live vicariously with great needless cost to themselves. (I would not want to see men doing that either.) 

I just think, if we are going to discuss "why" they do it... frankly, some just do it "just because they can." Not necessarily for lack of self-worth, they might not even have thought that far yet. Some might, frankly, just be bored. And then, I'm sure, though, there are some who do it to fill deeper need even when they are aware that they're not doing it for positive reasons or doing it to fill some void. There is simply a variety.

People should be aware of risk, whether it's small or large, so they can be educated to make good decisions for them and the people who love them.


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## drummaster350 (Feb 27, 2013)

Jabberbroccoli said:


> Someone's probably said this, but I don't feel like reading through the other responses. The genital region is around the waist area in a human being, unless you are a midget, you're either going to need to get on your knees, touch your toes then awkwardly arch your head, or both parties sit/lay down in some fashion. If the two people involved aren't in the lying down mood, getting down on your knees is the most anatomically practical option.


Thanks smart ass :wink:


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## KittenPotPie (Mar 3, 2013)

Well, it can be sexy. I like male anatomy, and respond to it thusly. It is fun to give pleasure and watch a person's reaction. Moreso if you like someone, but sometimes even if you don't know them well. 



drummaster350 said:


> That all being said, say someone were to walk into the room and see a woman giving head. From a sheer visual/positional stance who is going to look like the more dominant person? In my mind it's the receiver.


So, are we talking about what *is* or what appears to be? And, who really cares about this? For me, if someone is "dominating" me, it's with my permission, I'm allowing them to do that, so it's feigned submission at best. But, for the most part, in a lot of my experiences, we're equals who want to pleasure one another. Someone could "walk into the room" and interpret something however they want, but that interpretation is probably more a reflection of them and their preconceived notions than of the actual situation. 

I could also argue that if I am performing oral sex on a guy I hold the cards, and while it may appear that they are dominant on the surface, whether or not they receive pleasure is up to me. If I decide to stop it becomes very apparent that really, it's them who wants something from me, not the other way around.


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## Jabberbroccoli (Mar 19, 2011)

drummaster350 said:


> Thanks smart ass :wink:


Welcome


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## chaoticbrain (May 5, 2012)

It's demeaning ? What on earth are you talking about man ?


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

And this marks the first time anyone ever complained about blowjobs.


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## Jabberbroccoli (Mar 19, 2011)

android654 said:


> And this marks the first time anyone ever complained about blowjobs.



Ha, I had a friend freshman year of highschool who cried after a blowjob. He never lived that down.


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## brittauzenne (Feb 8, 2013)

drummaster350 said:


> I'm asking this in all seriousness, but I'd like to know why Women (of any type) would enjoy giving head particularly when we're talking about a random hook up. To me this seems like a very demeaning act on the part of a woman in such a situation. I also look at it as an act of dominance on the man's part. Furthermore, as a heterosexual male I don't quite understand how it's enjoyable to women as she is the giver. Is it the equivalent of the joy a man feels when he kisses a woman's breast? Would any Ladies care to enlighten me?


I wouldn't give "random" head. Even if it is a one-night thing (I have done this a couple of times, in my 18-19 year range), but even when its in that situation, I'd say theres a level of trust so its not like he's looking down at me going "you dirty whore, you just like to suck penis don't you" or something lol ya know. But this thread is causing me to consider how I feel about head, but the problem that I have with it is not about feeling inferior or weak when doing it...why would I if I know that Im the current source of pleasure for the man? I would be playing into that fact rather than caring about what kind of woman he thinks I am..but anyway, what kind of man is he if the act is so random is probably a question to be considered.


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## chimeric (Oct 15, 2011)

Jabberbroccoli said:


> I mean, I enjoy fingering and eating girls out, because I enjoy watching them writhe in pleasure. I'd expect it's a similar sort of thing.


This.

I don't think most women give fellatio "randomly," but for those that do, it's probably as simple as "hot stranger looks hot while moaning and writhing around." It feels good turning someone on.


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

Jabberbroccoli said:


> Ha, I had a friend freshman year of highschool who cried after a blowjob. He never lived that down.


You know, that blowjob likely wasn't consensual. It's not cool to laugh at that kind of stuff.

Seriously, if a girl cried after receiving oral, would you react in the same way?


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## drummaster350 (Feb 27, 2013)

brittauzenne said:


> why would I if I know that Im the current source of pleasure for the man? I would be playing into that fact rather than caring about what kind of woman he thinks I am..but anyway, what kind of man is he if the act is so random is probably a question to be considered.


Makes you think don't it?


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## drummaster350 (Feb 27, 2013)

Torai said:


> You know, that blowjob likely wasn't consensual. It's not cool to laugh at that kind of stuff.


lol :laughing:. I'm assuming that rape was not the situation but this comments kills me because I took it as you trying to make @Jabberbroccoli feel bad.


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## Jabberbroccoli (Mar 19, 2011)

Torai said:


> You know, that blowjob likely wasn't consensual. It's not cool to laugh at that kind of stuff.
> 
> Seriously, if a girl cried after receiving oral, would you react in the same way?


I'm aware. I still find it amusing considering they'd been dating for 5 months prior, and the guy cried. It's wrong, still funny. 

Sort of like asking what the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies is.


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## brittauzenne (Feb 8, 2013)

drummaster350 said:


> Makes you think don't it?


Yeah, there's so much mystery you could cut it with a knife ;]

but no really, Im wondering what brings this question about Mr mysterious, esp if this thread is lowkey about your love life. If it is about you, why would you think that woman would feel bad? Wouldn't that be unconvincing if she's trying to make you happy. I figure if she got to the point of pleasing you, shes already there and might as well finish what was started. Or maybe youre picking women and not seeing or hearing from them about your experience, then youd have no idea what she was thinking but for all you know, she had the time of her life lol...But maybe you shouldnt leave things hanging either way mysteryboy. Just a thought though. You might be playing with everyone and know exactly whats going on, huh?


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

Jabberbroccoli said:


> I'm aware. I still find it amusing considering they'd been dating for 5 months prior, and the guy cried. It's wrong, still funny.
> 
> Sort of like asking what the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies is.


I wouldn't laugh. It's shit like this that keeps men from reporting and lets rapists go free. It doesn't matter if they've been dating or how long they've been dating, rape is still rape and should be treated as such.

And the difference is context. The dead baby joke is about a random dead baby who was not in the scenario. The teasing was in front of the likely victim and about his own experience.


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## Jabberbroccoli (Mar 19, 2011)

Torai said:


> I wouldn't laugh. It's shit like this that keeps men from reporting and lets rapists go free. It doesn't matter if they've been dating or how long they've been dating, rape is still rape and should be treated as such.
> 
> And the difference is context. The dead baby joke is about a random dead baby who was not in the scenario. The teasing was in front of the likely victim and about his own experience.


The answer is that you don't have a Ferrari in your garage.


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

Jabberbroccoli said:


> The answer is that you don't have a Ferrari in your garage.


Curse you, you clever and funny bastard.


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## drummaster350 (Feb 27, 2013)

brittauzenne said:


> Yeah, there's so much mystery you could cut it with a knife ;]
> 
> but no really, Im wondering what brings this question about Mr mysterious, esp if this thread is lowkey about your love life. If it is about you, why would you think that woman would feel bad? Wouldn't that be unconvincing if she's trying to make you happy. I figure if she got to the point of pleasing you, shes already there and might as well finish what was started. Or maybe youre picking women and not seeing or hearing from them about your experience, then youd have no idea what she was thinking but for all you know, she had the time of her life lol...But maybe you shouldnt leave things hanging either way mysteryboy. Just a thought though. You might be playing with everyone and know exactly whats going on, huh?


I'm not sure I completely understand what you're trying to say, but I found your undertones amusing roud:. If you'd seen my earlier posts you would have read that I'm a virgin who lives by the principled Christian ethic (for both male and females) of celibacy in singleness with sex reserved as a sacred act in a committed marriage. It's not been easy but I've made it this far and will likely succeed in finding that someone who feels the same way. If you must know this came about because I fell in love with an ESFP Lady at the factory I work at who happened to be going through a divorce. I felt her husband didn't treat her right and I went out of my way to befriend her during this vulnerable time (yes hoping a relationship might come of it later) but also to keep her away from the losers that just wanted to sleep with her. Their were several occasions where she wanted me to get physical with her but I knew I couldn't because she was still a married woman. She would have been putty in my hands but I knew it wouldn't have been good for either of us. I kept hoping she'd eventually go through with the divorce because I knew her husband didn't love her (or he would have gave up his druggy lifestyle a long time ago) but I wasn't about to break up any family. To make a long story short I knew I had to back off and she didn't get a divorce claiming "her daughter needed a father around." At that point I backed off completely and I think she subconsciously resented me for it. One day she wasn't at work and I found that she'd been caught in the act with a guy out back before break. She denied it, and since there was only one witness to this she kept her job. At the time, I gave her the benefit of the doubt but later after she'd moved on to another job I found out from the eyewitness what had happened that day. I remember feeling hurt and couldn't understand why she would demean herself like that. Committing adultery, out in the back parking lot of a factory, because you're not willing to divorce your ex-con husband. I just found the situation incredibly sad because I really loved her and I didn't like people talking about her like she was just some hoe. There was a very beautiful quiet side to her.


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## brittauzenne (Feb 8, 2013)

drummaster350 said:


> I'm not sure I completely understand what you're trying to say, but I found your undertones amusing roud:. If you'd seen my earlier posts you would have read that I'm a virgin who lives by the principled Christian ethic (for both male and females) of celibacy in singleness with sex reserved as a sacred act in a committed marriage. It's not been easy but I've made it this far and will likely succeed in finding that someone who feels the same way. If you must know this came about because I fell in love with an ESFP Lady at the factory I work at who happened to be going through a divorce. I felt her husband didn't treat her right and I went out of my way to befriend her during this vulnerable time (yes hoping a relationship might come of it later) but also to keep her away from the losers that just wanted to sleep with her. Their were several occasions where she wanted me to get physical with her but I knew I couldn't because she was still a married woman. She would have been putty in my hands but I knew it wouldn't have been good for either of us. I kept hoping she'd eventually go through with the divorce because I knew her husband didn't love her (or he would have gave up his druggy lifestyle a long time ago) but I wasn't about to break up any family. To make a long story short I knew I had to back off and she didn't get a divorce claiming "her daughter needed a father around." At that point I backed off completely and I think she subconsciously resented me for it. One day she wasn't at work and I found that she'd been caught in the act with a guy out back before break. She denied it, and since there was only one witness to this she kept her job. At the time, I gave her the benefit of the doubt but later after she'd moved on to another job I found out from the eyewitness what had happened that day. I remember feeling hurt and couldn't understand why she would demean herself like that. Committing adultery, out in the back parking lot of a factory, because you're not willing to divorce your ex-con husband. I just found the situation incredibly sad because I really loved her and I didn't like people talking about her like she was just some hoe. There was a very beautiful quiet side to her.


Wow..you speak very nicely..thanks for sharing..this story makes things seem more romantic than they seemed at first . But I wasnt trying to confuse you, just figure out what was behind the OP question. But Im sorry things didnt work out anyway, even if the air on it has cleared. Just seems like you didn't run into the right one and was a case of bad timing :crying: but now, because there's a background, the question could be answered much differently; your old love interest did what she did, but not every woman is like that. But to me, acts like the one she committed (for lack of a better term) usu come out of a place of desperation from what I know. And the resentment part. Well. Im wondering if she really had a reason bc it sounds like you did the right thing. But anyway, thanks for following up


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## TriggerHappy923 (Dec 8, 2012)

tanstaafl28 said:


> How many thousands of years did humans manage to survive (albeit with a lot of diseases) without any real understanding of bacteria? Our current level of "anti-bacterial hysteria" is an attitude that's going to catch up with us. We're actually killing all the _good_ bacteria along with the bad. That's right, not all bacteria is bad for us. Some of it is actually creates mutual benefit.


"We're actually killing all the _good_ bacteria along with the bad." In what way and who is "we"? Is this relevant?
Might I also bring up the fact that humans managing to survive is due to excessive procreation, life expectancy was short. Of cores there is good and bad bacteria, most of the bad bacteria, also bacteria and enzymes for breaking down food is in our mouths. I think you are just arguing me for arguments sake. There are all kinds of infections that can be caused. If you think I attacked you in any way, please don't get that impression. I'm begging to think that you must be trolling me. 

It's still considered unprotected sex. Just ask Monica.


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## nothingbutfoma (Jan 30, 2013)

I stopped reading after page 5 so sorry if the following is redundant...



Jabberbroccoli said:


> I mean, I enjoy fingering and eating girls out, because I enjoy watching them writhe in pleasure. I'd expect it's a similar sort of thing.


Yes, this is the exact reason why I enjoy performing oral on a guy. Knowing I am giving pleasure brings me pleasure, which escalates my level of enthusiasm, which makes it even more enjoyable for the guy, which makes it more enjoyable for me, etc. So it's this positive feedback loop that makes going down on a guy so thrilling for me. However, this only works if it's with a guy that I've connected with. Personally, I'm not keen on hook ups or one night stands, so I can't say why women enjoy giving head to random guys. It may be the novelty of being with someone new/different that they find thrilling.


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## nothingbutfoma (Jan 30, 2013)

drummaster350 said:


> I'm asking this in all seriousness, but I'd like to know why Women (of any type) would enjoy giving head particularly when we're talking about a random hook up. To me this seems like a very demeaning act on the part of a woman in such a situation. I also look at it as an act of dominance on the man's part. Furthermore, as a heterosexual male I don't quite understand how it's enjoyable to women as she is the giver. Is it the equivalent of the joy a man feels when he kisses a woman's breast? Would any Ladies care to enlighten me?


I don't really know why women are so enthusiastic about giving head to random guys, but I can offer this biological hypothesis (includes some evolutionary theory):

In humans (and most animals), females invest more into reproduction than males: 1) female gametes, i.e. eggs, are larger in size and contain most of the nutritional components necessary for supporting embryonic development, 2) females undergo pregnancy, and 3) females, traditionally, also invest more into rearing the child (though this last point is arguable given modern shifts in gender roles). Because of this high level of reproductive investment, females should be the choosier sex and only mate with one quality male (because sex is so expensive for her). And this is the case across most of the animal kingdom, including humans. Thus, female reproductive success depends on mate _quality_, whereas male reproductive success depends on mate _quantity_ (because sex is cheap for males, his reproductive success is only limited by number of mates). This, at least, provides a biological basis for why females exhibit high fidelity while males do not. 

However, we actually find that this is not the case. Instead, there is mounting evidence that many females actually have extra-pair copulations, i.e. they cheat. And there are a number of hypotheses for why they do so: 1) another male may be more attractive, and thus, have "better genes" to pass on to her own children, 2) pairing with another male may give her additional benefits on top of what she's already getting from male #1 or 3) it may be about bet-hedging and having genetically diverse children so that they are not all susceptible to the same diseases/disorders. None of these are mutually exclusive, by the way. 

So getting back to your original question, why do women enjoy giving random head? From a biological standpoint, a woman (single or in a relationship) may unconsciously seek out random hook-ups for any of the above explanations that pertain to extra-pair copulations/cheating. And in terms of the enjoyment part, maybe sexual enthusiasm in women has been selected for over evolutionary time. It makes intuitive sense if you think about it. If, from a purely biological perspective, the goal of the woman is to be impregnated by the random guy she's with, then it would be beneficial for her to display enjoyment/enthusiasm. A woman that is enjoying sex is a major turn on (or so guys have told me), which may positively affect the level sexual vigor in the guy (e.g. harder thrusts, more ejaculate, etc), again from a purely biological standpoint. So by enjoying sex and increasing sexual vigor in the guy, a woman increases her chances of achieving reproductive success in one sexual encounter. 

In modern society, sex is no longer performed for the sole purpose of reproduction. So a women who enjoys giving head to a random guy, which has no reproductive benefits for either parties, may just be a biological spillover from a context/time in which enjoyment in random sex was once an adaptive trait. 

Like I said, it's just a hypothesis, so take it for what it's worth.


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## Diphenhydramine (Apr 9, 2010)

OP - Surely you're not complaining.


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## Diphenhydramine (Apr 9, 2010)

My suggestion is that women find male genitalia as interesting and as fun as we find their genitalia and thusly they enjoy doing things with it that they find pleasurable or are interested in. Also it's good to satisfy other people; people of both genders get a kick out of making someone else feel good. Perhaps they feel competent; everyone wants to be a "good" lover who can please the oopposite sex. A lot of men enjoy the quite possibly Freudian Oedipus-esque act of sucking on breasts; this is extremely weird and demeaning when you think about it. But if you think about the most attractive pair of breasts and imagine the woman gave you free reign over her chest, hmm, you wouldn't think it so weird if a lot of men jumped at the thought. There's a dissociation there I think between ownership of genitalia and genitalia itself.


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## drummaster350 (Feb 27, 2013)

nothingbutfoma said:


> I don't really know why women are so enthusiastic about giving head to random guys, but I can offer this biological hypothesis (includes some evolutionary theory):
> 
> In humans (and most animals), females invest more into reproduction than males: 1) female gametes, i.e. eggs, are larger in size and contain most of the nutritional components necessary for supporting embryonic development, 2) females undergo pregnancy, and 3) females, traditionally, also invest more into rearing the child (though this last point is arguable given modern shifts in gender roles). Because of this high level of reproductive investment, females should be the choosier sex and only mate with one quality male (because sex is so expensive for her). And this is the case across most of the animal kingdom, including humans. Thus, female reproductive success depends on mate _quality_, whereas male reproductive success depends on mate _quantity_ (because sex is cheap for males, his reproductive success is only limited by number of mates). This, at least, provides a biological basis for why females exhibit high fidelity while males do not.
> 
> ...


That was a very logically coherent statement, even If I'm not sure I agree with the underlying premise. Are you sure that you're an ESFJ? That sounded like it came from thinker, not a feeler :wink:


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## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

drummaster350 said:


> That was a very logically coherent statement, even If I'm not sure I agree with the underlying premise. Are you sure that you're an ESFJ? That sounded like it came from thinker, not a feeler :wink:


Are you implying feelers can't think? Because that's the most false statement ever.


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## drummaster350 (Feb 27, 2013)

ISFjosue0098 said:


> Are you implying feelers can't think? Because that's the most false statement ever.


Not at all, I've just never heard an ESFJ write like that.


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## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

drummaster350 said:


> Not at all, I've just never heard an ESFJ write like that.


... Feeling and thinking deals with how we make decisions. Nothing to do with how we write.


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## drummaster350 (Feb 27, 2013)

ISFjosue0098 said:


> ... Feeling and thinking deals with how we make decisions. Nothing to do with how we write.


I beg to differ. Feeling and thinking have a lot to do with how we express ourselves.


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

Eos_Machai said:


> In pornography fellatio is often depicted as a demeaning act of male domination, it's for example quite common that the man holds the womans head and pushes it down over the cock, sometimes so she can barely breath.


You watch gagging niche porn. In the 'regular' blowjob niche that doesn't happen, the women hold and suck without the man touching them.


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## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

drummaster350 said:


> I beg to differ. Feeling and thinking have a lot to do with how we express ourselves.


Expressing ourselves is something we decide to do. Doesn't mean thinkers can't write emotional stuff and feelers can't write well written, informative stuff.


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## drummaster350 (Feb 27, 2013)

ISFjosue0098 said:


> Expressing ourselves is something we decide to do. Doesn't mean thinkers can't write emotional stuff and feelers can't write well written, informative stuff.


You're confusing emotions with feelings. In Myers Briggs they are two different things. Yes, you are correct that all types are capable of expressing themselves both ways. I hope you're not offended by my original comment. I simply found it surprising that you expressed yourself in that way.


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## nothingbutfoma (Jan 30, 2013)

drummaster350 said:


> That was a very logically coherent statement, even If I'm not sure I agree with the underlying premise. Are you sure that you're an ESFJ? That sounded like it came from thinker, not a feeler :wink:


Thank you. Haha positive about being ESFJ. By default, I follow my heart and not my head. I exude warmth and positive emotions to most people I meet. I am a biologist and am trained in scientific research, which has forced me to exercise my ability to make logical arguments on a daily basis. 




ISFjosue0098 said:


> ... Feeling and thinking deals with how we make decisions. Nothing to do with how we write.





drummaster350 said:


> I beg to differ. Feeling and thinking have a lot to do with how we express ourselves.


Obviously, both a feeler and thinker have the ability to feel and think. It's really a matter of how natural it is to tap into one function over the other. As a feeler, tapping into our emotions is much easier than it is to sit down and flesh out a coherent, logical argument, but that doesn't mean we can't do so and do it well. For a thinker, it's much easier to do the latter than it is to be highly in tune with our own and others' emotions, but that still doesn't mean a thinker can't be in touch with emotions and have a good handle on them. 

I think what really matters is how often we exercise our less dominant functions as well as how much energy we are going to devote in letting it shine. Sure, I can make a perfectly valid argument, but it takes much more time, energy, and mental power for me to do so than to sit down and let my feelings and other emotionally-oriented stuff freely flow. So as a feeler, I can definitely be highly logical, it's just very draining, whereas expressing my emotions comes so naturally to me that it can be invigorating for me to do so. I imagine it's reversed for a thinker.


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## changos (Nov 21, 2011)

I believe, if we want to try to understand this we should get rid of any judging to hear the "why". There could be a lot of diff reasons. *I guess:*



Some women really enjoy it so much they want more and would like to try diff men, just as when I first kissed a woman I wanted to taste other lips, nothing bad with it. Curiosity is one thing, the way you satisfy that curiosity is a diff thing.
Some women see nothing wrong with it just as some men do the counterpart. New generations... per example anal sex is a lot more common among this generation than mine, many young women ask for it (surprising to women my age).
Perhaps some are addicted to giving oral? there are many diff addictions.

*And... I know*:

I had a friend, pretty normal but she was obsessed with oral sex, she enjoyed it so much that she would ask you to cooperate just for her own pleasure more than yours. _She wouldn't do it with just anyone_ but almost. We were joking one day (first conversations) and she joked "_is you are right I will suck your..._" we laughed. Surprise she was serious. After some conversations there was no "why" she just enjoyed it.
She (the same friend) told me sometimes felt power, control... an amazing feeling because she could make a little change and it would trigger a big movement in the body of the guy... it felt good she said (but it was not the dominant reason)
Trying to fit in? seriously I know a girl (in fact "we know a girl") who is very kind with very low self steem... she would do just about anything to fit in, even if she is not fully enjoying it. We have been very careful trying to guide this young girl but she has her own life...... she wanted to modify her boobs (enlarge) and now that many of her friends like small boobs she wants a reduction... go figure.

There are lots of reasons.... I'm just guessing and sharing what I do know from first person.

Every woman is different. I guess you would have to find one that does this and have a long conversation.


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## Falling Leaves (Aug 18, 2011)

I can't speak for everybody here, but I'd give head as a means of pleasing my partner. Mind you, that's not selflessness on my part - so long as I'm in a comfortable relationship with a person I'm attracted to, I find the idea of satisfying them very appealing. Kind of a turn on. 

If I were, in theory, to have a one night stand, I would never give the person head; it's not the same if it some random douche-bag and his skanky dick which has been god-knows-where. Eurgh. Gross. 

Again, that's just me though.


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## Link (Mar 5, 2013)

Giving a man head can be more pleasurable for the giver than it can for the receiver all depending on the people involved. I equate it with orgasmic pleasure. Maybe some of us are wired to find it stimulating and engrossing to be intimate with men in this way, even to be savagely intimate, to have the mouth fucked, to be used, to be demeaned, to have our hair pulled, to be slapped and ejaculated on. To be ejaculated _in _and without permission. To be talked about as though we were an object. "It's all yours, dude."

To catch our breath and wait for the next man to step in front of us and pull his trousers down, because the word has spread, and there's a cocksucker in the house - if you know who to ask for.


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## Dashing (Sep 19, 2011)

The 'random' just made my imagination go wild and forget what I wanted to post initially. Thanks.


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## DeductiveReasoner (Feb 25, 2011)

Ever gone down on a woman?

It's like that, only she's going down on you.


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

Link said:


> Giving a man head can be more pleasurable for the giver than it can for the receiver all depending on the people involved. I equate it with orgasmic pleasure. Maybe some of us are wired to find it stimulating and engrossing to be intimate with men in this way, even to be savagely intimate, to have the mouth fucked, to be used, to be demeaned, to have our hair pulled, to be slapped and ejaculated on. To be ejaculated _in _and without permission. To be talked about as though we were an object. "It's all yours, dude."
> 
> To catch our breath and wait for the next man to step in front of us and pull his trousers down, because the word has spread, and there's a cocksucker in the house - if you know who to ask for.


LOL. Judging by this and your other post in the rough sex thread, you could write erotic fiction... If you don't already do so.


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

DeductiveReasoner said:


> Ever gone down on a woman?
> 
> It's like that, only she's going down on you.


Women don't get pleasure from giving head silly.


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## LawyersAdvocate (Jul 12, 2012)

drummaster350 said:


> I'm asking this in all seriousness, but I'd like to know why Women (of any type) would enjoy giving head particularly when we're talking about a random hook up. To me this seems like a very demeaning act on the part of a woman in such a situation. I also look at it as an act of dominance on the man's part. Furthermore, as a heterosexual male I don't quite understand how it's enjoyable to women as she is the giver. Is it the equivalent of the joy a man feels when he kisses a woman's breast? Would any Ladies care to enlighten me?


This baffles me, too. I don't think I could ever bring myself to do it for someone I didn't absolutely love. Good question.


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## Fat Bozo (May 24, 2009)

strangestdude said:


> That is a superbly crafted post for it's intended purpose. Bravo my dude.
> 
> Apparently this chick was 16 (legal in the UK) when she made this vid about how much she enjoys giving head...
> 
> Would wife.


 I lost it at "they'll buy you all the Hello Kitty shit you want." :laughing:

She's right, though. I totally would. But I have to admit if I was getting a blowjob and she said "this shit is delicious" I might not be able to stop laughing for the rest of the day!


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## mrscientist (Jul 4, 2010)

Sorry but no, i can not watch that for 20 seconds without punching a wall.


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## series0 (Feb 18, 2013)

drummaster350 said:


> I beg to differ. Feeling and thinking have a lot to do with how we express ourselves.


I agree. It's usually fairly apparent in a person's writing. I would say especially the thinking v feeling continuum.

An unusual case though - the feeling scientist, day by day. I get it. Well done.


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

mrscientist said:


> Sorry but no, i can not watch that for 20 seconds without punching a wall.


I know... I was wish she would give me head too.


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## Diphenhydramine (Apr 9, 2010)

strangestdude said:


> I know... I was wish she would give me head too.


 It's best not to think about these things, and just "keep calm and carry on."


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## Cephalonimbus (Dec 6, 2010)

I don't think OP and i have the same definition of the word "random", because i'm picturing a bunch of erect men with numbers painted on their chest and paper bags over their heads, and girls rolling dice yelling "come one snake-eye!".
God that was lame... perhaps that's why i never get invited to parties like that


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## perfectcircle (Jan 5, 2011)

Fellatio is just an action and can be imbued with all kinds of social, emotional, sexual, and interpersonal dynamics, so it would be impossible to say it is one way or another. 

In general, assuming the person is not being degraded or coerced via threat, fear, insecurity, over the top displays of dominance like spitting or name calling (outside the realm of willing role-play or whatever), I wouldn't say giving head has the man in a dominant position. He's in your mouth, he is trusting you. Fellatio means the woman is doing the movement/action. There's another term for when the guy is controlling the movement, via moving the girl's head or holding is still as he thrusts. Also, fellatio doesn't have to happen with the girl on her knees, she can be on top of him or other positions. 


But the biggest thing here is pleasuring someone is only degrading if the person is acting in a degrading attitude towards them. I personally would define that as assuming another person has no will or desires or assuming you know how they are going to react or what they want, treating them as though they are not a person but instead a function of yourself. Example, guy hitting on you in a bar assumes you want to have sex with him, or a guy you go back to his room with expects you to perform fellatio if you do not want to or as you are doing so goes "yeah you love it" when you are totally ambivalent. Like you are a slot machine you but a quarter in and sex comes out. However, let's say you DO want to do these things, and you do them of your own free will... The same action of sex can be seen as giving pleasure, receiving pleasure, or of controlling someone, and the differences aren't in the act of fucking but in voice, holding them down, if it's consensual, ect. If someone desires to give you pleasure, then doing so is an act of their own free will and isn't degrading at all, it feels very freeing. It isn't any different from a guy going down on a girl in that sense.


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## perfectcircle (Jan 5, 2011)

My secondary answer would be that I heard/read somewhere that the wet vagina and hard penis are so pleasing partly because they are tangible proof the other person desires us. They send all kind of chemicals off in our brain. Part of it is that penises are fun, but they are partly fun because you know that's there cause of YOU.


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## loving2011 (Nov 6, 2012)

drummaster350 said:


> I'm asking this in all seriousness, but I'd like to know why Women (of any type) would enjoy giving head particularly when we're talking about a random hook up. To me this seems like a very demeaning act on the part of a woman in such a situation. I also look at it as an act of dominance on the man's part. Furthermore, as a heterosexual male I don't quite understand how it's enjoyable to women as she is the giver. Is it the equivalent of the joy a man feels when he kisses a woman's breast? Would any Ladies care to enlighten me?



I don't understand why people question a woman's ability to get off on giving a blowjob. A sex act isn't demeaning if the person is getting utmost pleasure out of it and is fantasizing about the act constantly.

Let's start off with some sex education. The mouth is an erogenous zone, and it's a natural carnal desire to want to lick and enjoy the person that you're attracted to. As you're licking and sucking someone, the mouth gets stimulated and tingling sensations get sent to the breasts and the vagina. A woman can also finger herself, use toys or have the man carress her breasts/butt while she is giving a blowjob. I'm also shocked to hear people say that *"Women don't get anything out of blowjobs. They just do it to please the man." *Absolute garbage. If that was the case, many of us women wouldn't report the vagina getting immediately wet when giving oral. To the other person that says that women can't get orgasms from having a dick in your mouth, you would be surprised.

Many straight guys, gay guys, and lesbians like going down on their partner. Why can't a woman do the same? 

I personally find it's more demeaning for a man to question what turns me on. Shouldn't I be the one to decide what I like and don't like? I bet some of the men on this forum would be shocked to hear that some women prefer blowjobs over receiving or getting penetrated. Everyone is entitled to their own sexual preferences.



> I love giving head, but I *don't* like it when I'm on my knees and the "receiver" is standing. That, to me, does feel very demeaning, and it doesn't feel intimate or even sexual. It feels so gross in that position


I enjoy that position greatly. I don't feel demeaned, but feel very erotic and carnal.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

TriggerHappy923 said:


> "We're actually killing all the _good_ bacteria along with the bad." In what way and who is "we"? Is this relevant?
> Might I also bring up the fact that humans managing to survive is due to excessive procreation, life expectancy was short. Of cores there is good and bad bacteria, most of the bad bacteria, also bacteria and enzymes for breaking down food is in our mouths. I think you are just arguing me for arguments sake. There are all kinds of infections that can be caused. If you think I attacked you in any way, please don't get that impression. I'm begging to think that you must be trolling me.
> 
> It's still considered unprotected sex. Just ask Monica.


There's a growing body of information that contradicts the "excessive procreation" theory. I'm not just arguing for the sake of argument. I just don't buy the idea of balking at oral sex because of fears of bacteria.


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## kindaconfused (Apr 30, 2010)

All I know is, if I'm receiving it, and it is being done well, I would agree to do anything for the giver. Clean the house? Sure! Wash your car? No problem!
Who is the submissive one again?


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

drummaster350 said:


> I'm asking this in all seriousness, but I'd like to know why Women (of any type) would enjoy giving head particularly when we're talking about a *random hook up*.


 EW! Strange Penis! GROSS! :mellow:



drummaster350 said:


> To me this seems like a very demeaning act on the part of a woman in such a situation. I also look at it as an act of dominance on the man's part.


 I wouldn't say "demeaning" (unless it's strange penis ). Would you consider it "demeaning" if you were to go down on your gf ? And hey, isn't it all about the constant interplay/exchange between dominance and submission anyways. Even on a mental level, it's like a dance ...



drummaster350 said:


> Furthermore, as a heterosexual male I don't quite understand how it's enjoyable to women as she is the giver. Is it the equivalent of the joy a man feels when he kisses a woman's breast? Would any Ladies care to enlighten me?


Pretty much. But I kinda don't think you wanted to be "enlightened". I think you just wanted to hear women talk dirty. Didn't you? Admit it! Don't lie! I know .... I know because apparently my type knows stuff :tongue:


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## The Proof (Aug 5, 2009)

random fellatio makes life worth living


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## loving2011 (Nov 6, 2012)

Ningsta Kitty said:


> EW! Strange Penis! GROSS! :mellow:
> 
> I wouldn't say "demeaning" (unless it's strange penis ). Would you consider it "demeaning" if you were to go down on your gf ? And hey, isn't it all about the constant interplay/exchange between dominance and submission anyways. Even on a mental level, it's like a dance ...
> 
> ...




Ningstakitty-you may be right. I'm wondering if men just start these topics to get our goat. :blushed:


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

loving2011 said:


> Ningstakitty-you may be right. I'm wondering if men just start these topics to get our goat. :blushed:


Lovely love, let me tell you something. Men are seriously fantastic creatures. I promise you.

But don't be mistaken, it's the nature of the beast  LOL!!!! :tongue:


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## loving2011 (Nov 6, 2012)

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Lovely love, let me tell you something. Men are seriously fantastic creatures. I promise you.
> 
> But don't be mistaken, it's the nature of the beast  LOL!!!! :tongue:




This is what I've noticed.

Experienced men know that women can get freaky in bed, or they were just lucky enough to meet a certain type of women.

Men that don't have much experience or assume that all women are the same ask these kinds of questions.


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

loving2011 said:


> Men that don't have much experience or assume that all women are the same ask these kinds of questions.


No no no no no ... no.

You are being a woman now and you are over thinking it. They aren't that complicated.

Men like boobs. Men like blow jobs. And they like to talk about it. 
And they like boobs that talk about even more :tongue:

okay now I'm just being a troll  

the sick part is, I bet they like it! LOL!!! >.<


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## loving2011 (Nov 6, 2012)

Ningsta Kitty said:


> No no no no no ... no.
> 
> You are being a woman now and you are over thinking it. They aren't that complicated.
> 
> ...


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

loving2011 said:


> This is what I've noticed.
> 
> Experienced men know that women can get freaky in bed, or they were just lucky enough to meet a certain type of women.
> 
> Men that don't have much experience or assume that all women are the same ask these kinds of questions.


I think the OP was trolling. But if not like you say he lacks experience with women who are are comfortable with their sexuality.


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## loving2011 (Nov 6, 2012)

strangestdude said:


> I think the OP was trolling. But if not like you say he lacks experience with women who are are comfortable with their sexuality.


Hopefully, but I've heard this before. One man even suggested that a woman giving oral must have a Major character flaw. Imagine what it would be like to date a man and explain for 30 minutes why bj's cause arousal in the woman.


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

loving2011 said:


> One man even suggested that a woman giving oral must have a Major character flaw.


To be honest I do agree with him. 

Women don't like doing anything other than the missionary position. The failure of the Fifty shades of grey trilogy with the female demographic demonstrated that. 



> Imagine what it would be like to date a man and explain for 30 minutes why bj's cause arousal in the woman.


That's good game. I might say that to a lady, and after she's done raging I'll coolly reply; "Convincing theory..."


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## fihe (Aug 30, 2012)

what the hell? fellatio is nasty.


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

I do not enjoy giving "random" fellatio or having any "random" sexual contact for that matter.

Wild, passionate sex with someone I care about? I'll take it and I'll give it.. I won't bore you by listing all the different positions, scenarios, or spiritual and animal levels in which this could manifest.


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## Mettamomma (Oct 22, 2012)

Elaine said:


> I think that's kind of delusional. Women get very little out of going down on men. The only real payoff is if you love the other person and it's a shared experience. Since we are talking about strangers, there is clearly something else at play. Some seriously f*** up mental issue.


Not true for every woman. I've had orgasms simply by going down on a man. Those orgasms occurred without any part of my body's being fondled while I was fellating. Some women get very turned on by fellating. As someone earlier said, the man is giving the woman his full attention. The woman also is in control of the pleasure he receives. Those add to the turn on for the woman. A woman doesn't have to love her sexual partner to get sexual pleasure by fellating him.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

For me personally, laying lip is more intimate than intercourse. I have to feel emotionally close to a guy, and respect him a lot before I gobble the goop. I have even had actual boyfriends whos knob I wouldn't slob.. we'd gotten distant or I'd just lost respect for them somewhere along the way. Hell, maybe we never even got that close in the first place. 

So, the thought of sucking a strangers sugar-stick is revolting to me. Once theres enough respect and love though, I'll wring it dry so good he nicknames me "god" for the duration.


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

Promethea said:


> gobble the goop.





> knob I wouldn't slob..





> sucking a strangers sugar-stick





> wring it dry


!!!!! I just laughed so hard, you are so funny. These phrases!


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

Animal said:


> !!!!! I just laughed so hard, you are so funny. These phrases!


Confession: I only posted for the dirty euphemisms. ; )


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

Promethea said:


> Confession: I only posted for the dirty euphemisms. ; )


I knew it!! That is definitely something my close friend who is an ISTP would do. :kitteh: Well done.


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

Animal said:


> I knew it!! That is definitely something my close friend who is an ISTP would do. :kitteh: Well done.


As a J, I wish I had Promethea's Pness.


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## Snow (Oct 19, 2010)

My girlfriend's offered it before, but only to be "fair" to me, lol. I've never accepted, as a) it doesn't sound as enjoyable as "the real deal," and b) I've heard it tastes _disgusting_. She doesn't taste bad at all, so that's not fair at all in my books.

About the whole power thing, I just don't know. In context of _random_ encounters however, that seems completely pointless (as everyone seems to have pointed out already), leaving the woman unfulfilled. There is also the obvious aspect of the refractory period men have; if they are done, they are done. No more emotions, sexual drive, nada. So how can they please the woman at that point?


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## Bricolage (Jul 29, 2012)

drummaster350 said:


> I'm asking this in all seriousness, but I'd like to know why Women (of any type) would enjoy giving head particularly when we're talking about a random hook up. To me this seems like a very demeaning act on the part of a woman in such a situation. I also look at it as an act of dominance on the man's part. Furthermore, as a heterosexual male I don't quite understand how it's enjoyable to women as she is the giver. Is it the equivalent of the joy a man feels when he kisses a woman's breast? Would any Ladies care to enlighten me?


Some guys love eating pussy...


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## Villainous (Dec 31, 2012)

drummaster350 said:


> I'm asking this in all seriousness, but I'd like to know why Women (of any type) would enjoy giving head particularly when we're talking about a random hook up. To me this seems like a very demeaning act on the part of a woman in such a situation. I also look at it as an act of dominance on the man's part. Furthermore, as a heterosexual male I don't quite understand how it's enjoyable to women as she is the giver. Is it the equivalent of the joy a man feels when he kisses a woman's breast? Would any Ladies care to enlighten me?


Pretty obvious that you're inexperienced


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

Torai said:


> As a J, I wish I had Promethea's Pness.


I wouldn't mind having some Pness either.

I mean what.

Anyway, I agree that blowjobs aren't inherently demeaning. They can be, especially because of the negative connotation sucking has, but a woman isn't necessarily going to think of that while going down on a guy. Personally I don't think I would be giving random fellatio to anyone, but if I'm really into a guy?? Ehehe.


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## Scelerat (Oct 21, 2012)

Nonsense said:


> I wouldn't mind having some Pness either.
> 
> I mean what.
> 
> Anyway, I agree that blowjobs aren't inherently demeaning. They can be, especially because of the negative connotation sucking has, but a woman isn't necessarily going to think of that while going down on a guy. Personally I don't think I would be giving random fellatio to anyone, but if I'm really into a guy?? Ehehe.


I often react to comments of the "that sucks" nature, with "I don't get why sucking has such a negative implication, I've always had pretty good experiences with that, biting on the other hand..." 

@OP 
In fear of doing what I accuse others of doing, I think this comes down to the person and context. I don't think all women love it, or do it, on the other hand some do. Everyone has some kind of kink they enjoy, and other things that makes them go "wut was that?" I personally do not get furries or baby-play, on the other hand I do get and enjoy other forms of kink. 

I do agree that giving head in general has been given a negative/degrading view in society or in some groups but at the same time, who gives a shit about societies values? If you agree with them, go with them, if you don't why let them into your reality? I also question your sanity in reacting negatively to women giving head, ffs man you're ruining it for the rest of us!


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## Kyandigaru (Mar 11, 2012)

I wouldn't ever just randomly blow some guy. Even if it were some Hollywood hunk, its not happening! I don't judge other women who do it either, to each its own!


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## Scelerat (Oct 21, 2012)

Kyandigaru said:


> I wouldn't ever just randomly blow some guy.


For some reason, this made me come up with the following mental imagery: A woman spinning around a crowded room, pointing at a guy and blowing him. It may just be the definition of random messing with me.


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## Fat Bozo (May 24, 2009)

Scelerat said:


> For some reason, this made me come up with the following mental imagery: A woman spinning around a crowded room, pointing at a guy and blowing him. It may just be the definition of random messing with me.


Well, I knew a few girls in high school who pretty much did exactly that.


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## Scelerat (Oct 21, 2012)

Fat Bozo said:


> Well, I knew a few girls in high school who pretty much did exactly that.


The sad bit about that is that my first thought was "damn, where were these girls when I was in high school"


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