# High Fe/Ni for INFP? Need help understanding my functions.



## Ferin (Sep 30, 2014)

So I have always been typed as INFP. I have been learning all about the functions more and studying about the different types and their stackings. The more and more of these internet tests I take though, the more I start to question if I know anything about myself or where I really fit in the world of personality typing. I have taken many tests on functions and the general consensus I have gotten has been:

Fi - Fe - Ni - Ne - Se - Ti - Si - Te

Fi: Excellent
Fe: Excellent
Ni: Excellent
Ne: Average
Se: Average
Ti: Limited
Si: Unused
Te: Unused

This is so weird to me, I obviously know that the different tests I take affect the outcome and that it will never be completely accurate. Most of my functions from these tests come out way different than the normal Fi-Ne-Si-Te stack for INFP. The tests that I took all stated that my pattern most likely resonates with INFP though. I just don't know how to weed out what makes sense and what doesn't in accordance to how I really use these functions. I guess I need to read more about them but I wanted to ask *is it common for an INFP to have such high Fe?* From what I know, this is usually not the case. 

I feel like I live my life by my own internal values and I have tons of lucid thoughts on what *I* need to make me happy and the things I want to do with my life. I am always trying to keep the peace and always taking into consideration everyone's feelings around me more than normal. I am constantly trying to please everyone, I think I do it to feel harmony and to feel respected and loved by people around me. I crave acceptance of others but also I don't want to be seen as ordinary and lame. On the flip-side of that, I won't join in on something that goes against my values just so I am not rejected. Positive or neutral things I will, negative I will not. 

I know I am probably just thinking too much about all of this but I would really like to learn more. I also don't know much about how to describe the things I do in relation to the functions other than Fi/Fe. I am usually better at responding to questions than outright describing how I am. *When taking into consideration the way my stack comes out, do you think that I am mistyped?* I want to learn more about all of this.

If anyone has any insight please share! Much love to you all and thanks!!!


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## lawof23 (Jul 25, 2014)

I don't know if cognitive functions really work in terms of "scores", least of all from some online quizzes. It's not that I think they're unhelpful, just that I'm never sure they seem likely to help beyond the "top 2", ie: I think you might use them to clarify dominant and auxiliary functions, but not much else.

So in your case we get N more than S and F more than T; that could usefully start you off wondering/wandering throughout XNFX. But surely you can then tell if you're "an" introvert or "an" extrovert, ie: E versus I, and that then narrows it all down further. I expect you're happy with I more than E, so that would take us to INFX - only 2 choices left. I don't know if you identify much with "being INFJ" (apart from the whole "Fe" part which I'll get to in a moment), but potentially I'd wager that someone could tell between being iNtuition dominant and Feeling dominant for themselves. From what you wrote, which I accept was focussed on Feeling in any event, I thought it seemed to be much heavier on Feeling than on iNtuition on an introverted level.

Lots of people seem to end up confused between INFJ and INFP, but in general terms I'm not sure you're one of them. Anyhow, this is just to suggest a way that your function "scores" might correlate perfectly well with being good old INFP all along.

In terms of the bit of your post about Fe, without wanting to be difficult I'd worry you might be confusing Fe with just being a decent guy who is considerate and not a complete jackass. Just because you're a decent human being doesn't mean you need to worry about Fe especially.



So here's the rub: _why_ are you "always taking into consideration everyone's feelings around me more than normal"? I think it's because it's an integral part of your internal moral core, right? That's Fi, still, though. Similarly, you refer to constantly trying to please people - but don't confuse [outer] behaviour with [internal] cognitive function. Fi has a strong, clear, sharp grasp of its own internalised value system which (like other Xi functions) is experienced as firm, conclusive, and sure. Fe has a weak, blurry, somewhat confused grasp of its own internalised value system, but in contrast finds the Feeling experience of other people to be sharper, clearer, louder, brighter, etc. 

You say "_Positive or neutral things I will, negative I will not._" What is it that decides between positive and negative? How do you find you approach framing that kind of question. My guess is that what you use is your strong, clear, sharp conscious awareness of your own internalised value system: Fi - hence: INFP still. Don't get me wrong: I'm fairly confident that I wouldn't go out on a murder spree "just because all the other kids are doing it", but I go along with plenty and then just sort of whinge internally about it, or sometimes prefer to feel all superior and self-important for martyring myself to some experience of mild discomfort - but then I am 2w1 like that.

Depending on where you go with cognitive function theory, at least in some models you end up considering "where" Fe "occurs" in the "stack" of someone who "has" Fi in their "top 4". There is at least one way of describing INFP "in full" as going Fi-Ne-Si-Te-Fe-Ni-Se-Ti, where the latter 4 functions operate in an "ego-dystonic" way, ie: engaging them doesn't "feel like us", or feels somehow intrusive and alien to the "normal" or "right" way of looking at the world which the ego derives mainly from the perspective of the dominant function.

What I guess this suggests is that it's not like INFPs don't "have" Fe, but it doesn't "work" the same as it does for, say, INFJs. The "fifth" function is the Opposing function; it will be the same function as the dominant function, but "in the other direction". An INFP's experience of actual Fe would be more negative or at least ego-dystonic, eg: anything from "who cares what society thinks, I'm going to go my own way" to a more negative, somehow 'nagging', internal self-criticism. It would also tend to potentially come over to you as "what other people do" which is insincere, or hypocritical, or unfeeling - whilst at the same time amounting to a "projection" of our own negativity or failings.

Similarly, it's not that I don't "have" Fi, it's just I don't tend to use it constructively or positively in line with my ego-syntonic experience of myself. It's the self-importance and selfishness I project onto other people - "who cares what you feel about it: everyone else has decided already", "get over yourself and your own moral high-horse", etc - but it's also the nagging, whispering, doubt of "why are you such a spineless hypocritical idiot? Why not actually really stand up for something you believe in for a change?", etc. In its best light, Fi crosses from the "stupid old woman" of my sixth Senex/Witch function to fulfilling the "wise woman of the village" archetype instead. And back to you: in its best light, to you Fe might cross from being the negative Oppositional to the more positive perspective of genuinely expanding and broadening your own values whilst also moderating them through a conscious awareness of, and respect for, general social values.

Maybe anyway. I'm never really sure if just being "told" what type you are by strangers over the internet is helpful, but let me start the bidding here with the suggestion that you're as entirely INFP as you were before this temporary confusion arose. Thanks for your time.


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## reckful (Jun 19, 2012)

I'd say the main source of your typing confusion is the fact that you're trying to match your type to the Harold Grant function stack (INFP=Fi-Ne-Si-Te), and you can read more about why that's probably _not_ the way to do it in this post. As discussed in the linked post, that "doubling up" of your function scores (Fi _and_ Fe; and Ne _and_ Ni) is pretty typical.

If you've never taken the official "Step I" MBTI, it's here. If you usually come out INFP on _dichotomy-based_ tests, are any of your dichotomy scores typically close to the middle?

Finally, just in case they're helpful, there's a spoiler in this post that has roundups of online profiles for the four IN types.


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## Ferin (Sep 30, 2014)

@lawof23

Thank you for that wonderfully descriptive post. I find that the scores are a bit misleading as well because you can never really put an absolute number as certain things are situational. I react differently to certain problems based on if they're emotional, physical or something technical, I work in IT, or otherwise. 

I don't really believe that I am mistyped as I always fit INFP down to the nitty gritty details. I was more interested in hearing opinions. The dichotomy that I most walk the line on is Introverted/Extroverted. I am definitely more I than E though. I don't need the tests to tell me INFP anymore as I can see in my life all the ways I favor N, F, P as they are pretty clear.

I am more interested in learning about the functions and how I used them for personal improvement. I would like to feel balanced as I generally feel like I need to learn how to make more objective decisions or my life is going to go downhill. This may sound weird but I think because I have such strong consideration for everyones feelings around me, I tend to neglect my personal needs in favor of other people. It leads to inner turmoil as my brain wants what it wants as well and I end up trying to make everyone happy instead of myself. You nailed it with the Fi analysis. It is personal belief for me to be kind and compassionate to everyone. I was thinking this same thing after writing that post. It makes much more sense after you explained it.

Maybe I am mixing up Fe with those feelings. I am still trying to understand how I can describe these functions on a daily basis. 

Fi is definitely a huge part of that decision making process. I know that I have specific things I would not do on an emotional level. I have a neighbor who bangs on our ceiling if she hears my girlfriend and I arguing or something. My girlfriend will stomp back on the floor and I refuse to increase the amount of conflict while my girlfriend says "if shes going to act like a kid, so am I". Her motto is much more "eye for an eye" than mine and it causes us problems because she doesn't see things the way I do. I won't be confrontational unless something I love is being affected, otherwise it is irrelevant to my interests to pursue further action. I can relate to the martyrdom. I will stretch myself thin for people even when there is nothing I am gaining if only to gain their love and respect and do a good deed for the day. 

The ego-dystonic description was very helpful. I understand what you are saying in that Fe would feel much different for an INFJ as it is much more prominent to the ego. I am not neccessarily sure how I perceive it, I just know that for all intensive purposes, I am constantly making judgements and actions based on other people's reactions, more than my own. This may be more skewed from anxiety and my current high stress situation/environment though.

I can feel the things you describe with Fi often when I think about Ti. I know the logical answer to my stress is to remove the thing stressing me out. I just can't overpower my Fi to not get emotional and I resist resolving to the issue in order to avoid conflict. Which causes a loop of more conflict. If I would have ended the problem early it wouldn't come back to bite me again yet I still keep doing it. Your best light interpretation is thought evoking and I have to thank you for shining some insight on how I deal with things, without even knowing me.

Thank you so much for the long response and taking the time to put forth all that wonderful information. I am perfectly okay with being a weird unique INFP. I just have to work hard to expound upon my knowledge so that I can be a voice of guidance in the future someday like you!


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## nichya (Jul 12, 2014)

wow and I thought my high Ni was weird ) I will be checking this thread, time constraints atm


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## Ferin (Sep 30, 2014)

@_reckful_

I have read a lot of your posts in the past from page jumping as you are the best at providing links! Thank you very much for that. So I have seen the power that resides in your brain. I read through all of the material that you posted and it has inspired me to study more about the history of typing studies. I also read your information about the Big 5 and will be investing some time into learning more about that and testing myself. 

I don't think that I am mistyped personally, I was more curious about opinions based on my functions. I read through a lot of the profile outlines that you linked and though I can relate to all in some form, INFP is the most outlying that nails it for me. I have taken the official MBTI and I just took it again and still INFP, find that nothing really comes out close to the middle ground. Here are my results.









I really enjoyed your read about dichotomies and the how they are more reliable. I won't rely too heavily on that function stack anymore after all the fantastic insight you have provided in your various posts. I saw you mention something in one thread about the DaveSuperPowers videos and how the information is misleading as I had seen some of those videos and it sparked my interest in functions more. I think I won't read too much into them and focus on the dichotomies. I agree with your proposed question that if there are so many people being confused between two types that are supposedly completely different, then why does everyone seem to relate to both? It's the perfect question to get your brain churning. 

Also, as a note, my functions result posted in this thread was directly from keys2cognition, which you named as the most-linked-to the cognitive functions. I found that it was the best as well. Thank you for all the wonderful information! It was a pleasure to read. We need more people like you around in this world!


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## Bugs (May 13, 2014)

OP, let me offer you a hypothetical scenario.

You own a house and you're renting it out to a small family, a couple with their toddler daughter who happens to be sick. Because of the medical cost the family is late on rent and they just inform you that they will not be able to pay this months rent either because of dealing with the cost of their daughter's illness. Yet , you have to make tax payments on the property as well as pay for improvements because the state just informed you they need to inspect the property to be up to standard. If you do not make these payments they will incur heavy fines on you and put you under a microscope of investigation. At worse you can lose the title to your property. ( It's not far fetched actually , happens all the time). The money you need relies on the income provided by your tenants yet they cannot pay for the reasons stated above. Incidentally you happen to see online that another couple is looking to rent a place in your price range and they are willing to put a deposit ( one months rent) and a months rent at the beginning of the next month. If you rent out this property to these new tenants you will be able to cover the costs of the property without getting in trouble. Furthermore the current tenants late on rent also do not have renter's insurance and have signed a contract with you giving you legal precedence to evict them if they do not pay at least 2 months worth of rent. 

The stakes are as follows, do you chose to evict the family with a sick daughter that cannot pay you on time or do you get penalized and fined by the state with risk of losing your property ( and destroying your credit) for allowing the broke family to stay? What would you do?


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## Ferin (Sep 30, 2014)

Bugs said:


> OP, let me offer you a hypothetical scenario.
> 
> You own a house and you're renting it out to a small family, a couple with their toddler daughter who happens to be sick. Because of the medical cost the family is late on rent and they just inform you that they will not be able to pay this months rent either because of dealing with the cost of their daughter's illness. Yet , you have to make tax payments on the property as well as pay for improvements because the state just informed you they need to inspect the property to be up to standard. If you do not make these payments they will incur heavy fines on you and put you under a microscope of investigation. At worse you can lose the title to your property. ( It's not far fetched actually , happens all the time). The money you need relies on the income provided by your tenants yet they cannot pay for the reasons stated above. Incidentally you happen to see online that another couple is looking to rent a place in your price range and they are willing to put a deposit ( one months rent) and a months rent at the beginning of the next month. If you rent out this property to these new tenants you will be able to cover the costs of the property without getting in trouble. Furthermore the current tenants late on rent also do not have renter's insurance and have signed a contract with you giving you legal precedence to evict them if they do not pay at least 2 months worth of rent.
> 
> The stakes are as follows, do you chose to evict the family with a sick daughter that cannot pay you on time or do you get penalized and fined by the state with risk of losing your property ( and destroying your credit) for allowing the broke family to stay? What would you do?


Okay, first off, brilliant scenario. I love it and I can't wait to see where you are going with this.

I absolutely could not evict the family living there. I can sympathize with the hardships that the family I currently rent to is going through. Right now even thinking about it I feel for all the people who go through these situations day in and day out. I would stick my neck out for them as long as possible. They do not need any more turmoil in their lives while dealing with their kid's illness. I imagine what I would do is to have a conversation with them to help them find a more affordable place if this was going to be a long term problem, and help them along the way. First, I would make sure that they are legitimately having a crisis and they actually have a sick daughter (because I am very trusting with money but not to heartless liars, too many people go through this to make up a story about it). If it were true, the biggest soft spot in my heart is for kids and I would want to help them. I would need to take a loan to take care of what I need with the house for the inspection and to pay the taxes. Once everything is blown over and I can get payment from the family, I could replenish the money I used (whether savings, loan etc.)

If I were to sign a contract with the new family, I would be saving my own ass some trouble but I would feel much too guilty to do that. If the stakes were different I probably would not be so inclined to keep them around. My moral code would not let me let a little girl suffer worse and cause her family even more emotional destruction. I also am not one to money pinch and I spend way too much on gifts for other people around this time of year than I ever do on myself. Money is useless if I don't utilize it to make others and I happy and for stability.

I realize I probably would be a great but also terrible landlord. I'm good with renovation and I worked in electrical for 3 years though.


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## nichya (Jul 12, 2014)

If that makes sense and it did to me greatly, a fellow PerC user has told me that Ne and Fi together can act like Fe and perhaps even better in -caring- about others. So using your Ne, you put yourself in the shoes of others easily or imagine yourself in the situation then you use your Fi to understand how that -would- feel. So in the end, you can see people's motivation and where they are coming from and you can -feel- as they feel which is different than Fe, which is more said to be like a -reporting- experience. Such as reporting the emotional state of another and for example trying to uplift their mood because their emotional down state reflects on them and makes them feel down as well so they are good at spotting it and fixing it because the way they see it is emotions can be changed. But a FiNe user rather, feel as the other feels and understand and dwell in that feeling themselves first which brings genuine care. But I do believe we use it with more effort and we can shut it off when we feel like.

But your functions are separately evaluated in keys2cognition, that is why I am not sure myself because I seem to have a high Ni and my Ti which is believed to be the 8th function is pretty high considering the situation.


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## Ferin (Sep 30, 2014)

nichya said:


> If that makes sense and it did to me greatly, a fellow PerC user has told me that Ne and Fi together can act like Fe and perhaps even better in -caring- about others. So using your Ne, you put yourself in the shoes of others easily or imagine yourself in the situation then you use your Fi to understand how that -would- feel. So in the end, you can see people's motivation and where they are coming from and you can -feel- as they feel which is different than Fe, which is more said to be like a -reporting- experience. Such as reporting the emotional state of another and for example trying to uplift their mood because their emotional down state reflects on them and makes them feel down as well so they are good at spotting it and fixing it because the way they see it is emotions can be changed. But a FiNe user rather, feel as the other feels and understand and dwell in that feeling themselves first which brings genuine care. But I do believe we use it with more effort and we can shut it off when we feel like.
> 
> But your functions are separately evaluated in keys2cognition, that is why I am not sure myself because I seem to have a high Ni and my Ti which is believed to be the 8th function is pretty high considering the situation.


I like this perspective. I have never really thought about it like this but it seems like an accurate analysis. I feel like the way that you just described is exactly how I think about things. It's pretty amazing that it can be a more genuine experience like you described since I really am putting myself in their shoes. I could probably shut it off like you said. I think about all the horrible stuff that happens in the world and although I feel guilty, sometimes I say to myself "I can't do anything about this so I'll just hope things improve for those people". I do feel like I get the reporting feeling as well. I don't quite grasp the entire concept though. 

Just this morning I was driving in to work and in my rear view mirror I could see the woman in the car behind me. She was staring blankly at nothing. Looking straight ahead. I could tell from her eyes and from her expression that she was deeply enveloped in thought and I felt like I could feel her depression leaking out into the atmosphere and it felt so real to me. I wanted to just get out of my car and give her a hug. I find that when I am driving sometimes I get absorbed into my mind when I am anxious. I could just picture exactly the senses she was experiencing and although I will never see this person again, I hope she makes it through her troubles. I often wonder if people ever see me out in public and can tell what is going on in my head. 

Anyways, in that situation it definitely feels like Fi & Ne working together but I don't really know. I wonder if that affects the way I answer the questions giving me a false score on Fe. Do you ever encounter these kinds of situations? How would you describe the thought process going on in my head when thinking about this woman? Thanks for this great insight Nichya!


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## myjazz (Feb 17, 2010)

Ferin said:


> Okay, first off, brilliant scenario. I love it and I can't wait to see where you are going with this.


This is one big clue of putting a dent in the High Ni factor. 
I did see a lot of Fi wrapped around confusion and maybe a little distraught thrown in your life. A tad input on Fe and how everyone has in there own way feeling's or consideration towards others this doesn't decide entirely upon he function's of Fe / Fi. The question of many is how is this done. Your girlfriend is a Extrovert it seems and that she doesn't seem to understand you on your level of who you are and by that how you are. ( intrude for moment here) Maybe put forth some of this knowledge that you are seeking about personality types and form that bridge among you and her....i think you and her might have a little in common within the functioning's i guess what I am saying is use your strengths to reach her on same level ( intruding over)


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## nichya (Jul 12, 2014)

Ferin said:


> I like this perspective. I have never really thought about it like this but it seems like an accurate analysis. I feel like the way that you just described is exactly how I think about things. It's pretty amazing that it can be a more genuine experience like you described since I really am putting myself in their shoes. I could probably shut it off like you said. I think about all the horrible stuff that happens in the world and although I feel guilty, sometimes I say to myself "I can't do anything about this so I'll just hope things improve for those people". I do feel like I get the reporting feeling as well. I don't quite grasp the entire concept though.
> 
> Just this morning I was driving in to work and in my rear view mirror I could see the woman in the car behind me. She was staring blankly at nothing. Looking straight ahead. I could tell from her eyes and from her expression that she was deeply enveloped in thought and I felt like I could feel her depression leaking out into the atmosphere and it felt so real to me. I wanted to just get out of my car and give her a hug. I find that when I am driving sometimes I get absorbed into my mind when I am anxious. I could just picture exactly the senses she was experiencing and although I will never see this person again, I hope she makes it through her troubles. I often wonder if people ever see me out in public and can tell what is going on in my head.
> 
> Anyways, in that situation it definitely feels like Fi & Ne working together but I don't really know. I wonder if that affects the way I answer the questions giving me a false score on Fe. Do you ever encounter these kinds of situations? How would you describe the thought process going on in my head when thinking about this woman? Thanks for this great insight Nichya!


Yes, I tend to do this a lot. When I am commuting for example I do tend to observe people and try to relate to their mood / emotional state and how they function, what their lives are like, if they like their coffee with cream  ,their parents, their emotional exchange with their parents, a ton of things and yes if they can see through me or read my mind. Well to me this sounds very Ne. But yes, sometimes I am not looking for it but I do sense someone's inner feelings, I can not quite put a label on it but I do feel them very strongly. A lot of incidences suggest this really. Especially when a person is faking their mood and trying to hide their inner feelings, somehow I tend to feel them. So I end up being confused if they refuse that when I ask about it but later on for me to figure out or sometimes when they see that I see they just let go of their guard.

But I think the main difference is that, I can shut it off just like that. I mean I do have compassion even for strangers and I even get teary eyed with sad / joy just observing them but say if my mind is busy and I am going through an emotional state, I might become oblivious to my surrounding unless there is a stimuli. So I wonder if you experience this with everyone or at occurrences. But I think most importantly I feel like my being is independent of others, actually we were discussing this in another thread and it did give me better insight of Fe or added on it let's say, is it the genuine caring for another or do you need this positive environment for your own well-being? That was asked of me to answer. I really feel like my well being has not much to do with others although of course I prefer a positive environment. I don't want to refer you to that test because someone else has evaluated it and I feel I shouldn't without knowing the criteria. To me Fi/Fe is very easy to distinguish but I can't know your motivation for sure.

On the flip-side of that, I won't join in on something that goes against my values just so I am not rejected. Positive or neutral things I will, negative I will not. - this sounds very Fi

I feel like I live my life by my own internal values and I have tons of lucid thoughts on what *I* need to make me happy and the things I want to do with my life. - also very Fi

I am always trying to keep the peace and always taking into consideration everyone's feelings around me more than normal. I am constantly trying to please everyone, I think I do it to feel harmony and to feel respected and loved by people around me. - this sounds Fe

But I don't really like to label people so don't take my word. I think in my situation I am highly aware of being Fi but also I disregard Fe. Of course I lean for harmony and peace but I wouldn't be bothered with conflict or negative emotions. I do have a problem with people being nice for the sake of being nice while underneath they feel very differently.

So, how do you feel underneath? I don't know, do you tend to think - I really don't like or agree with this person but I must say something nice to get them comfortable around me?- Does it really matter that much -for your well being- or would you do this because you think it would be good for their well being?

I dunno really ) I think I am able to see the difference clearly myself but I am really bad with putting it in words or behaviors.

Could you be enneagram 9 by any chance?


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## nichya (Jul 12, 2014)

@Ferin ohh I just noticed your signature, you are 9 ! Also sx/so so I would understand you are Fi with too much focus on harmony and dislike of conflict and also care about how others view you, but like I said, don't take my word for it until you clearly see for yourself


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## Ferin (Sep 30, 2014)

myjazz said:


> This is one big clue of putting a dent in the High Ni factor.
> I did see a lot of Fi wrapped around confusion and maybe a little distraught thrown in your life. A tad input on Fe and how everyone has in there own way feeling's or consideration towards others this doesn't decide entirely upon he function's of Fe / Fi. The question of many is how is this done. Your girlfriend is a Extrovert it seems and that she doesn't seem to understand you on your level of who you are and by that how you are. ( intrude for moment here) Maybe put forth some of this knowledge that you are seeking about personality types and form that bridge among you and her....i think you and her might have a little in common within the functioning's i guess what I am saying is use your strengths to reach her on same level ( intruding over)


 @_myjazz_

So I'm a litte confused by what you mean about denting my Ni. I don't have high Ni because I am curious about what his point was? I know he was trying to provide me a situation where I would either have to put my own concerns above someone elses or vice versa which could be interpreted as Fi or Fe. I just don't know much about the functions so I said I wanted to hear his perspective.

Lots of distraught in my life because she doesn't understand "how I am". It's natural for me to be independent because of how I was raised, with no money and taught to work hard for everything. She is very dependent and I feel like sometimes I have to manage HER emotions let alone my own. 

We have talked plenty about introvert/extrovert differences and she even took the test with me and got ENFJ. The big problem is that I will fold and give in to her and give her what she needs but she doesn't reciprocate the effort. I'd just like to play a game on my computer or take a bath or something sometimes without having her jumping to conclusion of me "wanting to be away from her". She has insecurities which definitely affect my life. I end up wanting to go out more than her because she just wants to spend all her time alone with me since she is depressed. She has just recently started on Sertraline (Zoloft) to help her anxiety, PTSD and depression so hopefully once it gets into her system she will be better. I at times feel much more extraverted than her with wanting to go out in public and have a good time at a bar etc. She is much better at speaking to people on the phone and in person though. 

I neglect my own needs and wants all the time to take care of hers. I have told her all about this personality stuff though and she thought it was interesting at first but then didn't care about it and isn't interested in it. 

Thanks for the input!


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## Ferin (Sep 30, 2014)

@_nichya_ 

Okay good at least I'm not the only one who senses these things  I tend to feel absorbed into people sometimes, I'm a great listener and I can piece together solutions to puzzles that sometimes they don't see so I enjoy helping and listenign. That is a great point about someone faking their feelings, I am very perceptive of that as well. I am glad you brought it up. I usually can tell when my co-workers have something they are trying to hide or suppress in order to maintain their calm at work. I'd want them to vent to me about it to try and give them some relief and see if I can help.

I can relate to you with that. It is much easier for me to shut it off if its with a stranger or something out of my control. I feel independent for the most part, though I don't enjoy it. As I am in my current situation, I have lost contact with my friends and I see my family way less than I used to. I feel like I sacrifice so much for my girlfriend that I don't want to and end up missing the other people in my life much more than I would normally. I do genuinely care about a lot of people and find myself wishing positive things and always being optimistic for them just out of nowhere. I also feel like I am capable of easily surviving without others but I love people, prefer them in my life and want that positive environment. 

It might sound bad but I think I could go move to another country with no one and be okay. I wouldn't want to though. I am just good at being independent and I have learned to rely on myself for sustenance. Then again, as I think of it, it might just be my bad side talking from being stuck in a toxic relationship. I probably can't really understand myself truly until I start thinking only for myself.

Thank you for all the input on the things I said. Its starting to make more sense. 

So, how do you feel underneath? I don't know, do you tend to think - I really don't like or agree with this person but I must say something nice to get them comfortable around me?- Does it really matter that much -for your well being- or would you do this because you think it would be good for their well being?

I generally try not to dislike anyone unless they have wronged me or someone I care about. I am open-minded and optimistic about everyone. I always see people as an enigma that I can learn from and I tend to give the stamp of approval to everyone I first meet which can bite me in the butt sometimes but I want to give everyone a chance. I guess I do it more for my well being than for theirs but I also want to make a difference in everyone's life that I meet. Feeling a concensus of respect, love and being the confidant or "loyal friend" for my friends and family is what I always crave. I am a 9w1 like you guessed at, very astute!  I feel like it is easy to tell with me, especially in person. I try to inspire peace between people. I think that side of me takes precedence over many of the other aspects of my personality. Maybe that is why my Fe always comes back so high.

Thanks for the response!


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## myjazz (Feb 17, 2010)

@Ferin
Ni tends to , at least try, not wait in wonder of what or where things are going especially when the interest has been peaked.

( i was figuring a possible Fe dom from the short note that you gave as an example about you and your GF ,,,it is odd but a truth that Fe especially Dom's have a tendency to kinda lash out negatively with Fe when not balanced as in a argument ...but this is usually not brought out from a single action usually a built up ordeal...anywho you didnt ask about that...


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