# Smelly Office Poopers



## MolaMola (Jul 28, 2012)

Has anyone else worked in an office or coworking place where people stink up the single-room bathrooms and don't turn on the fan after? Leaving you to walk into a foul-smelling bathroom?


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## JayDubs (Sep 1, 2009)

Suggestions: 
-Print out a note asking people to turn on the fan and hang it up in the bathroom. 
-Get air freshener for the bathroom. 
-Leave a pack of matches (if you trust your co-workers not to burn down the building). 

My workplace just has an unwritten rule that you go down to the basement bathroom for #2.


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## MolaMola (Jul 28, 2012)

I'm not looking for solutions!! I want funny poop stories


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## Not that guy (Feb 26, 2015)

MolaMola said:


> I'm not looking for solutions!! I want funny poop stories


Pull my finger.


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## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

I work in an office where most people dress in nice businesswear which means ladies in pencil skirts or dress pants and often shiny flats or high heels. We have a bathroom with several stalls for a floor with many people, and unfortunately it's not infrequent to hear clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack [heels] click [stall latch] rustle [clothing] PFFFFFBBBBBBTTTTT

I'm also on the hunt for a nice pair of light greenish heels with some metallic black decoration who belong to a lady with thin veiny feet who doesn't wash her hands after using the bathroom. There is a man who has been identified similarly by the guys and everyone knows to avoid shaking his hand. 

This wasn't at the office, but one time I went into a several-stall bathroom at a store and it was quite smelly. The offender had already left but the stink was intense, and I was the only one in there when another girl walked in. She began SINGING A SONG about how I needed to flush! I had no idea whether to be mortified or to laugh so hard.


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## DudeGuy (Aug 5, 2013)

Yes, and he thinks it is funny.


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## The red spirit (Sep 29, 2015)

Sometimes people in my shool pee like spidermans, sometimes people in my school pee like manspiders. Thank god poop is in the hole. Toilet paper placement reminds circus.


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## Fredward (Sep 21, 2013)

This is why I always hurl my turds into the cubicles and blame the office cat.


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## Mange (Jan 9, 2011)

The red spirit said:


> Sometimes people in my shool pee like spidermans, sometimes people in my school pee like manspiders. Thank god poop is in the hole. Toilet paper placement reminds circus.


:laughing:


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## Figure (Jun 22, 2011)

Some man went into the stall next to me a couple weeks ago and literally had a conversation with himself for about 30 seconds...then proceeded to call someone on the phone. I just do not understand people who talk on the phone and piss or shit, with toilets flushing in the background. 

I know that is a diversion from the smelly talk. Yes - we have people occasionally who make not just single bathrooms, but entire large bathrooms reek. In tech, we have a lot of Indian folks who tend to eat things like curries and spices in their lunch so if you catch a bathroom break at the wrong time it can be lethal. 

And that guy who doesn't wash his hands after going....that is just the most disgusting thing ever, I mean come on.


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## Alles_Paletti (May 15, 2013)

Yup, and even worse, those that leave a mess. While they have what they need to clean up after themselves. And I am cursed with the gift of instantaneously burning disgusting images in my brain so they keep popping up randomly for days. 

I think these people should be publicly shamed and then fired.


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## Scoobyscoob (Sep 4, 2016)

Ugh yes. There have been a few times where the smell was so bad that I immediately walked back out because I didn't want someone thinking I created that vile smell. I tend to try not to go #2 at work because I prefer going in the comfort of my home. I do drink a quite a bit of caffeine drinks at work though so I end up using the restroom a few times throughout the day. There was one time when the bathroom smelled incredibly rank but I couldn't really hold it in any more so I tried to be in and out of the bathroom as quickly as possible. As I was walking out while holding my nose another fellow was walking in and as we passed through the door, all I said was, "It wasn't me.". He nodded at me and as I was walking out I could hear him say kind of loudly, "UGH!!!".

A little courtesy would go a long way in this regard. Try eating some probiotics and maybe pick breakfast and lunch items that won't leave your body smelling like something is festering inside of you.


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## security (Feb 22, 2017)

I had one bad day also known as a black mood where I'm walking on eggshells trying to keep my temper together, This is something that would happen when I wasn't very mature,.

go into a stall, start to do my business when in walks _this one guy_
oh my god. You know that website where you send smelly people soap on a rope?
that's for him. he REEKS. every inch of his body REEKS. I have held my breathe and walked away from this person many times, and here I am stuck next door to him dying from the fumes of his unwashed body. 
then he starts farting. Constantly. and pooping. and I'm dying. 
and then the volcanoes from Kilauea erupting, constantly over and over while I gasped and choked.

and I snapped. 

I finished, washed my hands, walked out with soap still on them because I couldn't take the smell. 
I walked out of the building, to my car, opened the trunk of my car, retrieved the case from my assortment of survival equipment and went back inside.
walked up to his stall and hurled vial after vial of stink-bomb under his stall and SCREAMED at him.

I yelled that he needed to take a shower. That he had no personal style and monkeys who eat ticks from their bums have better hygiene. That the reason he didn't get a promotion is because no one can stand next to him because he would make a zombie throw up from his unwashed fumes. That these vials are what your vile body is like to people around you. 
I dont remember everything I said.. but it was hurtful and true. 

Then I left him. I left the poor guy in a room surrounded by manufactured and organic stink-bombs, trapped in his own sewage.
Oh man I felt so bad.
I was going to reach out to him and try to apologize, what the hell was that!?
but HR didn't have his number and people looked at me as if I was crazy for wanting to talk with him. 


Then I see him the next week. 
he is wearing clothing better then me. He is taller due to better posture. is that.. _aftershave?_
and he catches my eye. and he knows. I know he knows. 
and I'm twisted inside. A million questions I'll never ask. I'm sorry man.
but I bet your going to make project manager.


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## _Ionic (Jul 8, 2016)

The red spirit said:


> Sometimes people in my shool pee like spidermans, sometimes people in my school pee like manspiders. Thank god poop is in the hole. Toilet paper placement reminds circus.


I never understood why some guys go into a stall and piss. Like dudes, we have fucking urinals for that, not stalls. I hate walking into a urinal to be surprised that a guy has pissed anywhere but *in* the toilet. Then the seat is full of piss and the side of the toilet is dripping from urine and I can't take a precious #2 because some dude wanted to mark his territory for good. Ew


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## The red spirit (Sep 29, 2015)

_Ionic said:


> I never understood why some guys go into a stall and piss. Like dudes, we have fucking urinals for that, not stalls. I hate walking into a urinal to be surprised that a guy has pissed anywhere but *in* the toilet. Then the seat is full of piss and the side of the toilet is dripping from urine and I can't take a precious #2 because some dude wanted to mark his territory for good. Ew


Urinals aren't private and how do you piss into them without moving pants dow? I still don't get that (I'm for real). In normal toilet you have 4 wall for privacy. Pants down and piss how you need, without some random people looking at your penis. Is it really that strange, that I don't get the concept of urinals? I'm probably the last human on Earth to use toilet paper after peeing, because having even one drop of pee and keeping my body in it is catastrophic. Man, I'm weird, so that's maybe why I use toilet instead of urinal. In my schooll toilets aren't those standart ones, but just holes in the ground with water lever. I think, that people just don't squat and miss hole in progress.

Similar toilet pic from net:


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## _Ionic (Jul 8, 2016)

The red spirit said:


> Urinals aren't private and how do you piss into them without moving pants dow? I still don't get that (I'm for real). In normal toilet you have 4 wall for privacy. Pants down and piss how you need, without some random people looking at your penis. Is it really that strange, that I don't get the concept of urinals? I'm probably the last human on Earth to use toilet paper after peeing, because having even one drop of pee and keeping my body in it is catastrophic. Man, I'm weird, so that's maybe why I use toilet instead of urinal. In my schooll toilets aren't those standart ones, but just holes in the ground with water lever. I think, that people just don't squat and miss hole in progress.
> 
> Similar toilet pic from net:


Ah I'm guessing you aren't from the U.S are you? I was actually referring the the toilets where you can sit on, not the ones with holes in the ground. It makes no sense here in U.S why guys go into stalls and pee on toilets seats (those designed for them to sit on) when despite the fact there urinals designed for that very purpose (to stand up and pee).


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## The red spirit (Sep 29, 2015)

_Ionic said:


> Ah I'm guessing you aren't from the U.S are you?


Sure I'm not, but those are rare even in my country. I guess they were cheap.



_Ionic said:


> I was actually referring the the toilets where you can sit on, not the ones with holes in the ground.


I knew that



_Ionic said:


> It makes no sense here in U.S why guys go into stalls and pee on toilets seats (those designed for them to sit on) when despite the fact there urinals designed for that very purpose (to stand up and pee).


If you pee on plastic part of normal toilet, then there's high probability of peeing on your pants, so I don't get that either.

Anyway, aren't I'm weird?


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## _Ionic (Jul 8, 2016)

The red spirit said:


> Sure I'm not, but those are rare even in my country. I guess they were cheap.
> 
> 
> I knew that
> ...


No, because peeing on the rim of the seat poses a high probability of it spattering and reflecting back onto your clothes. So again lol, a lose - lose situation for everybody. Still I don't understand why some guys do this


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## The red spirit (Sep 29, 2015)

_Ionic said:


> Still I don't understand why some guys do this


Because they suck at CS:GO, they are kurwas.


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## _Ionic (Jul 8, 2016)

The red spirit said:


> Because they suck at CS:GO, they are kurwas.


Terrible CS;GO accuracy stats = terrible pee aim 

I'll make sure to pay better attention to others accuracy stats

:laughing:


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## The red spirit (Sep 29, 2015)

_Ionic said:


> Terrible CS;GO accuracy stats = terrible pee aim
> 
> I'll make sure to pay better attention to others accuracy stats
> 
> :laughing:


That explains why some terrorists in CS:GO have brownish-yellowish clothes, even jeans are dirty.


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## _Ionic (Jul 8, 2016)

The red spirit said:


> That explains why some terrorists in CS:GO have brownish-yellowish clothes, even jeans are dirty.


:laughing:


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## titanII (Jan 11, 2017)

Served with a guy that went nuts (in my opinion) and tried being a vegetarian. That was my clue that he was bonkers. Good lord, he stank up the huts, vehicles, latrines. I finally had to monkey strap his ass on the outside of the humvee when we patrolled. I was a bit worried that he would explode if he was shot...so I finally let him back in when he promised to get over the veggie kick. I recall that it didn't really help. He was just a gassy dude. Kinda regret not shooting him myself...


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## Fleetfoot (May 9, 2011)

Guilty as charged, but this is child's play. I stink up bathrooms with 20 stalls easily. Let me know when you stop working with noob poopers.


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## johnFrush13 (Mar 1, 2021)

Six months ago, when I was working at the company, this happened all the time in our office. Some people just don't care what others can smell. Our company was closed for quarantine and now I rent a co working space, where there is no such problem at all and when you go into the bathroom, it is even unusual that there is a pleasant smell and not, well, you know what I mean. It's cool when a different contingent works in your environment and everyone knows about the most primitive rules of etiquette. From such little things, your attitude to work is formed and the team strongly influences it.


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