# Birthday Sex



## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Yes? No? Should it be expected from your partner if it is your special day?

I was denied last year by my partner on my birthday and I'm still pretty damn upset about it. Perhaps me lying naked in bed with him wasn't enough of a hint? I got a kick ass gift though. But still, I would take the sex over the gift any day.

Is it me? Or isn't there some unspoken rule about our partner's duty......


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## Vanargand (Jul 28, 2010)

I would hope to get it on my birthday, just like I hope not to be working on my birthday, it's just one of those things that I expect, maybe I'm wrong though?:crazy:


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## LostInMyOwnMind (May 5, 2010)

I never make the mistake of "expecting" anything. That's just wrong.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Vanargand said:


> I would hope to get it on my birthday, just like I hope not to be working on my birthday, it's just one of those things that I expect, maybe I'm wrong though?:crazy:


Yeah. Okay. But would deny your partner sex their birthday? I would never in a million years. I make sure my partner is always well-fed. 

As I got older, I stopped taking the day off for my bday. I don't want to sit around all day waiting to see who doesn't call me. I'd rather work.



LostInMyOwnMind said:


> I never make the mistake of "expecting" anything. That's just wrong.


You're right. It IS wrong. I don't expect anything either. Except sex on my birthday. :angry:

I mean, why be in a relationship if you can't have sex on your birthday? So many people are willing to give it to you on your birthday. Forced birthday celibacy is just wrong, wrong, wrong......


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## angularvelocity (Jun 15, 2009)

Lol pink. You're awesome. I'd be nice and greatly appreciated, but not expected. Don't think I've ever had it :shocked:


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## Thinker96 (Feb 24, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> You're right. It IS wrong. I don't expect anything either. Except sex on my birthday. :angry:


hahaha. no i totally agree, i mean i wouldnt really get upset if i didnt get it but i would definitely hope for it. and same goes the other way around, if its her birthday id never deny it and id make sure she has an awesome day :wink:


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## TreeBob (Oct 11, 2008)

If it could be a contractual obligation I think I'd write it in.


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## mrscientist (Jul 4, 2010)

No. You should not expect it. Your birthday is yours, yet the relationship isn't. If your partner is not in the mood you probably wouldn't force sex on him/her any other day of the year i hope?


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## Monte (Feb 17, 2010)

I don't put that much importance on my birthday, so... no.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

I don't think anyone should ever feel obligated to have sex, no matter what day it is, but I think if a couple felt comfortable enough with the idea, then it can be a good part of their relationship.

I wouldn't expect sex on my birthday simply because it was my birthday, and I wouldn't want her or him to feel obligated - and I hope they wouldn't me to feel obligated either.


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## Aßbiscuits (Oct 8, 2009)

My friends are always the same house on my birthday and just to commemorate old times we'd all sleep in one big room in my best mate's house, so sex is out of question 

I did however manage to get my ex girlfriend, on my 16 birthday to...arouse me under the covers. She stopped immediately and the next day she told me she 'didn't want me to make noise'....-__-

That would've been a great memory.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

mrscientist said:


> No. You should not expect it. Your birthday is yours, yet the relationship isn't. If your partner is not in the mood you probably wouldn't force sex on him/her any other day of the year i hope?


You are so not invited to my birthday party. :sad:


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## Agile (Sep 27, 2010)

I'm one of those that expect it and hope my partner expects it on her birthday too. Same with anniversaries, christmas, thursdays, fridays, and saturdays,


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## SomeRandomGuy18 (Aug 18, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> You are so not invited to my birthday party. :sad:


Am I? :happy:


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

SomeRandomGuy18 said:


> Am I? :happy:


Hold on. Let me go check your stance on birthday sex first. :tongue:


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## mrscientist (Jul 4, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> You are so not invited to my birthday party. :sad:


Fine. I'll make my own party, with BBQ and blackjack and hookers. In fact forget the blackjack and hookers...mmm BBQ...


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## Vanargand (Jul 28, 2010)

Can I come to your birthday party Pink?


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Vanargand said:


> Can I come to your birthday party Pink?


Sure. And bring the cake on the left, k?


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## SomeRandomGuy18 (Aug 18, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> Hold on. Let me go check your stance on birthday sex first. :tongue:


If you're in a sexual relationship with someone, then yes I'd say sex on a birthday should be expected


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## Hardstyler (Sep 4, 2010)

Yup =D 10char


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## Jazibelle (Sep 3, 2010)

For me it's the best gift I can have, to give and receive love... :blushed:


happy Bday Pink by the way! :happy:


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Jazibelle said:


> For me it's the best gift I can have, to give and receive love... :blushed:
> 
> 
> happy Bday Pink by the way! :happy:


Aw thank you Jazi! And I totally agree with you.

I'm going to go and get my drink on in a bit and then I shall come back and make some _really_ honest posts. :wink:


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## Red Leaf (Jul 3, 2010)

15 days until my birthday and SO has already said he had very definte dirty plans for me. 

These next 15 days are going to drag on so slowly now that I know this. Dammit.

Birthday sex should be a given and it should be good too.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Red Leaf said:


> 15 days until my birthday and SO has already said he had very definte dirty plans for me.
> 
> These next 15 days are going to drag on so slowly now that I know this. Dammit.
> 
> Birthday sex should be a given and it should be good too.


Ah! You see! Yours is a keeper fo sho. There is also this really fun sex game you can buy at adult stores. My ISTP and I loved it. I was just thinking it could be a way to pass those next few days. I would post a pic of the game, but the cover is so awesome, I might get in trouble.... let me see...


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## AEIOU (Feb 5, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> Ah! You see! Yours is a keeper fo sho. There is also this really fun sex game you can buy at adult stores. My ISTP and I loved it. I was just thinking it could be a way to pass those next few days. I would post a pic of the game, but the cover is so awesome, I might get in trouble.... let me *see*...


Curious minds want to *see*!
Maybe you could post a link instead, that shouldn't get you into trouble.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

AEIOU said:


> Curious minds want to *see*!
> Maybe you could post a link instead, that shouldn't get you into trouble.


Okay. I found it. Here it is. http://www.thefallenangel.com/BOOKS-&-GAMES/c11/p19030/Get-nasty-game/product_info.html

Let me know if you need help finding it at your local store. :wink:


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## MissNobody (Aug 23, 2010)

Jazibelle said:


> For me it's the best gift I can have, to give and receive love... :blushed:
> 
> 
> happy Bday Pink by the way! :happy:


It's not a gift if your partner doesn't want to give it to you though, is it? :happy:


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

umbrellasky said:


> It's not a gift if your partner doesn't want to give it to you though, is it? :happy:


No. Actually it's a wake up call that my partner has passive aggressive tendencies and should go into the "dump bin". 

Sex is an extremely important and validating act. A person who withholds within a committed relationship, hardly makes a good long term partner. 

I was married for a long time. And commitment wasn't always based on hand holding. I"m highly against forced celibate monogamous relationships.


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## Shield of Light (Aug 28, 2010)

Why wouldn't you? I mean, if your in a serious relationship, what could be a better way to say happy birthday? :wink:

I would actually rather have my partner _not_ expecting it, which will make them even happier. :tongue:


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

pinkrasputin said:


> No. Actually it's a wake up call that my partner has passive aggressive tendencies and should go into the "dump bin".
> 
> Sex is an extremely important and validating act. A person who withholds within a committed relationship, hardly makes a good long term partner.
> 
> I was married for a long time. And commitment wasn't always based on hand holding. I"m highly against forced celibate monogamous relationships.


I think you need to clarify what you are saying here - are you saying that it's OK for someone to force their partner to have sex with them simply because it's their birthday? Even if that person didn't want sex at all at the time, and that because they didn't give in to their partner they must be selfish?

I might be wrong and that may not be what you are saying, but it sounds like that. If I'm not, how can you be against forced celibate monogamous relationships, yet support forced sexual monogamous relationships?


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

skycloud86 said:


> I think you need to clarify what you are saying here - are you saying that it's OK for someone to force their partner to have sex with them simply because it's their birthday? Even if that person didn't want sex at all at the time, and that because they didn't give in to their partner they must be selfish?
> 
> I might be wrong and that may not be what you are saying, but it sounds like that. If I'm not, how can you be against forced celibate monogamous relationships, yet support forced sexual monogamous relationships?


I'm not into forcing anyone into anything. This is why there is a dump bin.


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## Burning Lion (Aug 17, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> Yes? No? Should it be expected from your partner if it is your special day?
> 
> I was denied last year by my partner on my birthday and I'm still pretty damn upset about it. Perhaps me lying naked in bed with him wasn't enough of a hint? I got a kick ass gift though. But still, I would take the sex over the gift any day.
> 
> Is it me? Or isn't there some unspoken rule about our partner's duty......


Um...... Fuck Ya! It's my day dammit. Show me how much you love life with me!?!? Make me happy by doing things I love with me on my day. I want to spend it with YOU!! I make an honest effort to make you happy the other 364 days of the year!

:tongue:


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## Burning Lion (Aug 17, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> Yeah. Okay. But would deny your partner sex their birthday? I would never in a million years. I make sure my partner is always well-fed.
> 
> As I got older, I stopped taking the day off for my bday. I don't want to sit around all day waiting to see who doesn't call me. I'd rather work.
> 
> ...


I here by declare myself vice president of this Ideal! Unless Rasputin has something other to say. Wouldn't want to associate herself politically with someone like myself. lmao

Can't believe I have a life example where this conversation took place between myself and the significant other. *Sigh* (marches to a halt beside Pink Rasputin and thrusts giant flag firmly in to the sand)


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

pinkrasputin said:


> I'm not into forcing anyone into anything. This is why there is a dump bin.


So you use emotional blackmail? "Sleep with me or the relationship is over"?


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## Hokahey (Oct 8, 2010)

I would do it for my girlfriend as long as the timing cycle was right, I wouldn't *expect* but would appreciate the same in return, and a girl laying in bed naked, oh yeah it's on.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

skycloud86 said:


> So you use emotional blackmail? "Sleep with me or the relationship is over"?


Um no. Perhaps you don't understand ENFPs very well. We are not into controlling people. There are no threats. I'm not a child. 

I don't have the habit of entering relationships with people who aren't as sexual as me. So normally there wouldn't even be an issue. My ex last year was actually using emotional blackmail on me. He was purposely trying to hurt me by withholding sex from me on my birthday. He was extremely passive aggressive.

I just took a sexual abuse class which defined sexual abuse. Aside from other forms we all know of: nonconsensual sex, having sex with partner while intoxicated, asleep, etc., we also learned that withholding sex from your committed partner for a length of time, is also sexual abuse. And I personally know tons of women who have purposely withheld from their partner in order to control or hurt them. It's sad. And it really hurts. It can really make your partner feel rejected.

Last year on my birthday, I was very hurt. My partner purposely chose that one day to not feel like it. 

I don't play that game. I can always manage to give to my partner if he wants it. There is a mutual benefit whenever I give to my partner. When I was married, I went into therapy for 3 years with the goal of "I want to learn how to want sex with my husband all the time." And I learned from that experience that I can give to my partner at any time. It really can save relationships.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

OK, that's fair enough, although I don't think many people would be able to make themselves want sex on all of their partner's birthdays. I personally wouldn't want someone to have sex with me on my birthday because it was my birthday, I would them to truly want and feel like having sex. I would also hope that my partner would have the same viewpoint.


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## Roman (Jul 6, 2010)

Just to say... if we don't have certain expectations for ourselves and for others, how do we even make boundaries, standards? Love (even lust) IS an expectation in itself. So I would have to disagree with *LostInMyOwnMind*... 

On to the question at hand. I would absolutely LOVE sex on my birthday! I think it's only fitting for your partner to show you how much she appreciates you by giving the ultimate gift... herself. :blushed:


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

Roman said:


> Just to say... if we don't have certain expectations for ourselves and for others, how do we even make boundaries, standards? Love (even lust) IS an expectation in itself. So I would have to disagree with *LostInMyOwnMind*...
> 
> On to the question at hand. I would absolutely LOVE sex on my birthday! I think it's only fitting for your partner to show you how much she appreciates you by giving the ultimate gift... herself. :blushed:


And you would do the same for her?


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## bionic (Mar 29, 2010)

skycloud86 said:


> And you would do the same for her?


Yeah, I'd MAKE him do it.


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> I really have no room to complain. I turned an ENFP man down who came to town especially for me. So I reap what I sow. I couldn't help it. I'm crushing on this site and I have values and shizzle. :crying:


Wow he flew all the way out to see you and spent that kind of money. That's a bitch move. Not cool Pink. 



pinkrasputin said:


> Fo sho! *THE BEST! * Some women may want pearls. I'd rather have a pearl necklace. :wink:


lol, I'm loving your sexual innuendo.


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## Filigeedreamer (Sep 4, 2010)

I can honestly say it isn't something I've ever considered key to a relationship. 

I'd never expect, or want it just expected of me, but it's something I don't think most people in a healthy realtionship would have a problem with anyway. I can understand people being offened their partner did not WANT to show love and affection on a special day and increase their emotional bonds. I don't think anyone mentioned forcing sex on a partner, just wanting the partner to want to. 

Hence, I don't see everybodies problem. Let's all get on and agree people should _want_ to have sex with their partners.:happy:


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