# Decision - making scenarios: Thinking and Feeling Responses



## stiletto (Oct 26, 2013)

Can you present some plausible thought processes someone using thinking or feeling would arrive at a decision in the following scenarios? Feel free to add your own or add/take out variables.

The purpose here is to simplify and present illustrations to help better understand how these contribute to decision making.

Scenarios: 
Deciding where to eat in a group.
Deciding what to wear.
Deciding how to comfort a friend.
Deciding what gift to get someone.


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## OverthoughtAndUnderstated (Aug 13, 2012)

stiletto said:


> Scenarios:
> Deciding where to eat in a group.
> Deciding what to wear.
> Deciding how to comfort a friend.
> Deciding what gift to get someone.


There are four answers for each scenario (Ti, Te, Fi, Fe). This is my take on how each dominant function would approach the senarios.

Deciding where to eat in a group:
Neither Ti nor Fi will make that decision.
Fe will consider everyone's preferences and likely come to a utilitarian decision. They might suggest everyone's taking a vote.
Te will likely approach the problem democratically as well, possibly stirring up arguments in the process because everyone accuses them of being controlling.

Deciding what to wear:
Ti is most likely oblivious and will put very little effort into such things.
Te will likely choose the most business-relavant option - something to impress a potential networking partner.
Fi wears the same thing all the time no matter the situation - usually a unique look that reflects their personality (boho).
Fe chooses situation-relavant attire like Te, but more-deeply considers the impression they give to others.

Deciding how to comfort a friend:
Ti will offer reasonable, honest insight and advice, but only if asked first.
Te will assert cold-hard advice according to standard social rules already set in place.
Fi will offer warm, empathetic insight and advice, but only if asked first.
Fe will appeal to social norms like Te, but in a more sympathetic way (it will seem).

Deciding what gift to get someone:
Ti will get or make a very unique and well-thought-out gift, or they may half-ass it at the last minute, but in a very passable way.
Te will give a gift out of obligation. It will be good and special or not so good. Just wait and see.
Fi will give or make a unique, meaningful gift, or not give a gift at all.
Fe will OMG SO MANY GIFTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## PaladinX (Feb 20, 2013)

Here is an example from MBTI workshops. The group is given a scenario like: you are picking up a friend to go to an event. Your friend is wearing something completely inappropriate for the event. What do you do?

Thinkers generally came up with the response of "just tell them." The feelers generally got hung up on a debate of whether it's worse to tell them up front, hurt their feelings, but avoid potential future embarrassment; or not tell them so as to not upset them and hope they won't get embarassed at the party.


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## counterintuitive (Apr 8, 2011)

As @_OverthoughtAndUnderstated_ said, it's not as simple as Thinker vs. Feeler on this. Although I get that your purpose is to simplify.

*Deciding where to eat in a group.*
- I'm Ti > Fe (so a Thinker type) and would defer to Fe when deciding where to eat in a group. I'd rather the whole group eat at a place we all kinda like, than go to my favorite place (not that I have one) and have the others in the group be unhappy.

*Deciding what to wear.*
- I defer to Fe social norms. I dress in ways that are conventionally socially acceptable, e.g. I work at a business casual office and dress in very typical business casual form. Why defer to social norms? Well, I lack aesthetic sensibilities of my own, so I don't have much of a choice, anyway. I've tried to develop my own "style" but I'm pretty clueless as to what actually looks good/bad.
- The next consideration after that is comfort, but that's Si if anything. (Huh, I just realized I'm not usually aware if clothing is comfortable on a day to day basis; I just gauge if it's comfortable when I try it on at the store, and if it's not, then I don't buy it in the first place.)

*Deciding how to comfort a friend.*
- My first instinct would be to troubleshoot their problem like it's a technical issue, lol. So that's Ti.

*Deciding what gift to get someone.*
- I'd try to get something of personal significance (Fe?) based on my knowledge of the person (Ti?).
- I'd try to get something the person would find useful (Te? lol).
- If it was someone I didn't know well, I'd defer to social norms and get a socially acceptable "harmless" gift. Like office stationery or something for a coworker. Whatever is appropriate given the context.
- I'd be very careful about the connotations of any gift I gave; I wouldn't want to suggest romantic inclinations or something like that.
- Best is cash/gift cards. 

These are scenarios in which Ti isn't the best approach, and would not yield optimal results, so I switch rather flexibly to the Fe approach. In most cases I do default to Ti though.

@_PaladinX_ 
Interesting scenario. I'd tell them, little doubt about that, but it's about their feelings still: because I wouldn't want for them to show up at the event with the inappropriate clothing, and be embarrassed. I'm still ultimately trying to protect their feelings (prevent them from feeling embarrassed later). Though I didn't debate much on that.

Sometimes I can't tell if I'm making a genuine Fe judgment, or if I'm somehow using Ti to reason with Fe social norms. Does this sound like a genuine Fe judgment?
ETA: Nvm, I thought about it and I'm not seeing any reasoning in here. Just like the "what to wear" and gift connotations.


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## The Lawyer (Sep 28, 2015)

stiletto said:


> Deciding where to eat in a group.


If someone has a birthday or celebrates something else, they decide about the place; if there is no such person, I go along with the customary democratic process during which everyone is allowed to express their ideas and the idea that gets the majority of the votes wins. I find that to be a fair group decision-making process and therefore support it, so I guess that's Fi.



stiletto said:


> Deciding what to wear.


My own fashion sense mixed with current trends (Se), combined with the occasion (Fe) and what I feel like wearing on that particular day. (Fi)



stiletto said:


> Deciding how to comfort a friend.


The decision of doing or not doing it, and if yes, the manner of doing it, depends on how important the person is to me and on how much integrity I consider them to have, and also somewhat on my mood at the moment. (Fi) I'll never seriously comfort someone who repeatedly makes same idiotic mistakes and never learns from them, and then looks for someone to whom they could bitch about it. I consider that a waste of time and energy.



stiletto said:


> Deciding what gift to get someone.


Asking them if they want something particular (Fe); if I'm choosing the gift, I am usually able to find the one that the person will like because I use my observations of their style (Se) - fashion, colors, jewellery etc. to buy something that fits that style, or if they casually say that they need something relatively shortly before their birthday, I make a mental note of it (Si) and buy that.


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## myst91 (Sep 9, 2014)

stiletto said:


> Can you present some plausible thought processes someone using thinking or feeling would arrive at a decision in the following scenarios? Feel free to add your own or add/take out variables.


OK Ti>Fe here. And Se>Ni.




> Deciding where to eat in a group.


Collect what everyone says/wants and decide based on that.




> Deciding what to wear.


What fits the situation enough and inside that constraint, whatever I look at in my wardrobe that takes my fancy that day. I pick a piece that takes my fancy like that and I'll find matching pieces for that. I like to get creative there.




> Deciding how to comfort a friend.


I'm sorry/wow this sucks... then, practical advice.




> Deciding what gift to get someone.


Depends on their expressed preferences, also on what I've observed them to like/fitting their style, and on what I can locate in the shops last minute. :tongue:


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## myst91 (Sep 9, 2014)

OverthoughtAndUnderstated said:


> There are four answers for each scenario (Ti, Te, Fi, Fe). This is my take on how each dominant function would approach the senarios.


Well I'll check on myself how well this idea works...




> Deciding where to eat in a group:
> Neither Ti nor Fi will make that decision.
> Fe will consider everyone's preferences and likely come to a utilitarian decision. They might suggest everyone's taking a vote.
> Te will likely approach the problem democratically as well, possibly stirring up arguments in the process because everyone accuses them of being controlling.


Fe for me, then. Tho' I usually don't go as far as having everyone taking a vote. I may try to steer others towards my own agenda if I have one (my preference for a specific place). If no such agenda, I'll just do the Fe as above.




> Deciding what to wear:
> Ti is most likely oblivious and will put very little effort into such things.
> Te will likely choose the most business-relavant option - something to impress a potential networking partner.
> Fi wears the same thing all the time no matter the situation - usually a unique look that reflects their personality (boho).
> Fe chooses situation-relavant attire like Te, but more-deeply considers the impression they give to others.


I relate to none of these... a bit of the Fi and the Fe.




> Deciding how to comfort a friend:
> Ti will offer reasonable, honest insight and advice, but only if asked first.
> Te will assert cold-hard advice according to standard social rules already set in place.
> Fi will offer warm, empathetic insight and advice, but only if asked first.
> Fe will appeal to social norms like Te, but in a more sympathetic way (it will seem).


a bit of fake F then Ti+Te.




> Deciding what gift to get someone:
> Ti will get or make a very unique and well-thought-out gift, or they may half-ass it at the last minute, but in a very passable way.
> Te will give a gift out of obligation. It will be good and special or not so good. Just wait and see.
> Fi will give or make a unique, meaningful gift, or not give a gift at all.
> Fe will OMG SO MANY GIFTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ti and sometimes a bit of Fe.




PaladinX said:


> Here is an example from MBTI workshops. The group is given a scenario like: you are picking up a friend to go to an event. Your friend is wearing something completely inappropriate for the event. What do you do?
> 
> Thinkers generally came up with the response of "just tell them." The feelers generally got hung up on a debate of whether it's worse to tell them up front, hurt their feelings, but avoid potential future embarrassment; or not tell them so as to not upset them and hope they won't get embarassed at the party.


I would tell them very quickly and make them change the clothing.

Otoh couldn't a Fe type do the same because it would otherwise be really bad for their Fe agenda to have their friend wear the wrong thing?


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## Lelu (Jun 1, 2015)

This is a cool idea. I'll represent T in the form of how I _actually _respond to these situations.



> Deciding where to eat in a group.


Wherever is closest to where we are or where we are going. Consider suggestions from others.



> Deciding what to wear.


I mainly consider the utility of how I dress. For school, I wear casual yet visually appealing attire (Jeans, T-Shirt, and an unbuttoned button up shirt). For work or a networking event, I'll wear a suit.



> Deciding how to comfort a friend.


Is the situation solvable? If so, something can be done to stabilize them. If not, I suppose I have to comfort their feelings.



> Deciding what gift to get someone.


Figure out what someone's "On Switch" is for enjoying a gift. Some like sentimental values, others enjoy pure practicality, others want something interactive, etc. Then decide on a suitable item to fit that trigger.


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## Wisteria (Apr 2, 2015)

stiletto said:


> Deciding where to eat in a group.


I am quite bad at making decisions so usually someone else would decide. Sometimes I have a place in mind that I have been interested in going to and will suggest that. (Ne or low Te?) If they would rather not go there then that is fine but I might be disappointed.



> Deciding what to wear.


Consider the weather outside (Ni) , wear what I feel like wearing at that moment but is also practical enough for what I will be doing for the rest of the day (Si), and when I am unsure I ask someone else for feedback (Te?)



> Deciding how to comfort a friend.


This could be an awkward situation for me. I will try and reason with them to make them feel better, or do something for them - that is my way of comforting them. (Fi?)



> Deciding what gift to get someone.


Think about their interests, and buy gift that is unique to them and will please them (Si-Fe).


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## moonling (Feb 6, 2016)

_Deciding where to eat in a group._

There are some factors for all of us to consider: which restaurant best suits the occasion in terms of casual/fancy, cheap/expensive, close/far, and how much time and energy we're willing to expend. So once we've narrowed down the most suitable places, I tend to let others choose whatever they like the most. I don't get out much anyways, so I figure if others are more experienced, they should decide. If my group absolutely doesn't care and they want me to decide, I will choose whatever is least crowded and most casual, which is probably an Si thing. I remember past experiences when it was awkward to eat because too many people were staring. And I know that if there's a lot going on in the restaurant, like TV sports, a family of 10 singing happy birthday, background noise from kids playing arcade games, and people walking by our table very often, I will feel overwhelmed. The less of that stuff the better.

_Deciding what to wear._

I don't have a lot of clothes and I don't go shopping often. If it's hot outside, I'll wear a T-shirt. If it's cold, a sweater. Always jeans. I feel very bare and vulnerable in skirts, dresses, and shorts. And when I leave the house I always bring a jacket of some kind. They feel safe and cozy.

_Deciding how to comfort a friend._

I ask them questions about the issue so they can vent their frustrations to me. If they are crying, I'll give them tissues and ask if they would prefer to be left alone. I live by the saying "Treat others the way you'd want to be treated". In some cases, I'll ask them if they want a hug. And if they're in a talking mood, I listen and use Ne to generate ideas to help them. 

_Deciding what gift to get someone._

For expected occasions, I get them things they talked about needing in passing. If I want to give a gift spontaneously, which is my favorite, I pick out something that means a lot to them. If they like frogs, I get them something related to that. If they are obsessed with a show, I will get them a fan shirt. Or if they always talk about their favorite band, I'll get them some concert tickets. Gifts for people that I don't really know include flowers, cologne, chocolate, and plushies.


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