# Why do NTs hate showing emotion?



## legallyblonde502 (May 14, 2011)

This seems to be pretty universal. Can anyone explain why you guys hate showing emotion?


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## cherry blossom (Mar 30, 2012)

It makes me feel weak, and out of control. Being in control of myself is very important to me.


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## jeffbobs (Jan 27, 2012)

emotion is normal in certain situation, But i think for me, Dunno if its for other INTP's, instead of being cynical and quite dark humoured, if i used emotion more, i would just end up being suicidal. sooo much shit goes on that you can either try your whole life caring about everything, or care about almost nothing. and i choose to easy option, almost nothing.


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## SPtheGhost (Apr 26, 2010)

i like to laugh so....i guess im not an nt 

...and i was having so much fun ....see you guys in the feelers forum


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## Eleventeenth (Aug 24, 2011)

I have no problem showing emotion if and when I'm actually feeling emotion (or aware that I'm feeling it). But, there are other times when I think it's best to let logic win the inner debate. For instance, this last week, I had a colleague at work say some pretty rude things. Her customer service was absolutely horrible and unprofessional. This is like the 5th time it's happened with me and I know others who are disturbed/angered by her. So, I went back to my building and continued working, not thinking much about it. Then she e-mailed me to "reinforce" her rudeness - she wanted me to know that she felt her behavior was warranted. She was sort of ranting and rambling in her e-mail and seemed to be implying that she "has the power". I was pretty ticked off. Angry. I could feel the emotion welling up in me and I thought about sending off an e-mail or walking back to her office to unleash some fury on her, but I just collected myself, thought about the big picture, and chose to diffuse the situation, keep working, keep being content. No need to get upset - I have work to do.

A lot of times emotions can lead to overblown drama, lashing out, and a lot of times bridges can be burned and things can be said that people regret deeply. It all seems very demonstrative *at times*, especially when it's not refined or "mature" emotion. I recognize my own emotional intelligence as "still maturing", so I know I have to guard against this. I have to be smart about it. I believe I have made some of the absolute worst decisions of my life when I have acted out of emotion. Some things that I regret even today - I look back and I realize that I didn't take the time to run the decision through my "thinker". So, once you make some of these mistakes, you learn to always run things through your thinker. And yes, I realize that good decisions can be made from emotion and bad decisions can be made from "pure logic". I just recognize the distinction within myself and I know that when I've made decisions in moments of "emotional highs" and "emotional lows", they've tended to be strange and less than optimal decisions, in hindsight. 

Other emotions, like deep sadness or total jubilation, etc, I don't mind showing those. But, it's actually rare for me to experience these extreme highs and extreme lows. I think NT's tend to be fairly even keel with their emotions. It also helps with efficiency. If I'm in a meeting at work, that's not really the right atmosphere to bring my emotions and air out my personal issues. Nobody in that meeting gives a lick if anyone is sad or whatever (as sad as that sounds). It's a business meeting - we're there to discuss work and business. If I want to discuss my sadness, I should seek out a friend, call family, or go have dinner with a co-worker after work is over. 

I recognize emotions as an important part of who I am (and all people), but I like to manage my own emotions to a certain extent. There's a time and a place for them.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

It makes me feel vulnerable sometimes, I guess. I don't really have as much of a problem with it as I did in the past though. I have come to recognize it as a normal human thing to do.


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## Beyond_B (Feb 2, 2011)

Because my feelings are not something just anyone can witness. Emotions I can show to people I trust, won't show them at any given moment, cause it's dangerous and can cause a lot of trouble. I think dealing with your emotions when you are alone feels much better, and is something you won't regret. However, stating emotions in a not very emotional manner is okay I guess.
In short, my feelings are too precious to share with just anyone.


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

It really depends on the NT. Try not to read so many generalizations about NT around the forum, it will give you a flawed perception of NT and emotions. The NT in my reality aren't over the top emotionally, although they show emotion just like the rest of us. So no, not all NT hate emotions, some actually like it and are more emotional than me, yeah can you believe that, more emotional than a feeler, true story.


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## II Kung foO fight II (Apr 9, 2012)

I don't hate it. I show it whenever nature calls. It would be fake for me to try to overdo it just to appear to be like others.


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## II Kung foO fight II (Apr 9, 2012)

Beyond_B said:


> Because my feelings are not something just anyone can witness. Emotions I can show to people I trust, won't show them at any given moment, cause its dangerous and can cause a lot of trouble. I think dealing with your emotions when you are alone is feels much better, and is something you won't regret. However, stating emotions in a not very emotional manner is okay I guess.


I suppose this is part of my nature. It's likely due to the fact that I feel that anyone I do not know is less of importance to me therefore the lack of emotional response. Whereas those I know are part of my life.


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## Phoenix0 (Mar 16, 2012)

I show emotion. When I am happy I will smile and appear happy. When I am sad I will appear sad. But I don't get sad often. When I am mad there is a 100 metre radius no one must enter.

It's more of a 'you can't sway my emotions' rather than 'we don't show emotions'.


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## L'Empereur (Jun 7, 2010)

legallyblonde502 said:


> This seems to be pretty universal. Can anyone explain why you guys hate showing emotion?


Why do we need to show emotion?


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## MegaTuxRacer (Sep 7, 2011)

Because it's WEAK!

Kidding. In all seriousness, it is uncomfortable. Most of the time an emotion isn't anything that _needs_ to be shared, so it isn't. When it does need to be shared, I will.


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## Bazinga187 (Aug 7, 2011)

Then people talk to me about it. Conversations like that usually go like this:

Person: Oh, my God. Are you okay?
Me: I'm fine.
Person: You're clearly not fine.
Me: Why did you ask if I'm okay if you weren't going to believe my answer?
Person: Want to talk about it?
Me: No. I want to be left alone.
Person: People say I'm a _great_ listener.
Me: Well, you're not listening to me.
Person: Apparently I give good advice too, if you do want to talk about it.
Me: Look, I don't want to talk about it now. I just want to be alone. You're obviously not getting that, so I'll spell it out for you. Fuck off!
Person: [Offended] I was just trying to be helpful. [Walks off.]
Me: [Thinks] _Great, now I look like the bad guy._

I like time to sort through the cause of my emotions. Whether it's justified or irrational. How to get rid of it. The cause of action to be taken. If it entailed an outburst at somebody, I need to decide if I should apologise for said outburst or if I believe I was in the right. I need to go to my mind palace in order to think everything through.

I'm not absolutely stoic though. I show my feelings too much, if anything. If I'm sad, I act sad. If I'm stressed, I act stressed. If I'm happy, I act happy. Getting the picture? But it's just more convenient not to show some things.


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## legallyblonde502 (May 14, 2011)

MuChApArAdOx said:


> It really depends on the NT. Try not to read so many generalizations about NT around the forum, it will give you a flawed perception of NT and emotions. The NT in my reality aren't over the top emotionally, although they show emotion just like the rest of us. So no, not all NT hate emotions, some actually like it and are more emotional than me, yeah can you believe that, more emotional than a feeler, true story.


That didn't come from reading, it came from personal observations. Most NTs I've met have been this way.


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## Abraxas (May 28, 2011)

legallyblonde502 said:


> This seems to be pretty universal. Can anyone explain why you guys hate showing emotion?


It's not universal.

Those of us who hate showing emotions are mentally unhealthy.


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## ToxicSilver (Oct 30, 2011)

An NT friend told me I'm very easy to read - if I'm happy I look happy, if I'm angry, I look angry etc. I don't mind showing my emotions as long as I don't have to talk about them too much.


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## legallyblonde502 (May 14, 2011)

ToxicSilver said:


> An NT friend told me I'm very easy to read - if I'm happy I look happy, if I'm angry, I look angry etc. I don't mind showing my emotions as long as I don't have to talk about them too much.


Interesting. So in a relationship, when emotional issues do come up, the right way to go about dealing with them is to be as to the point and "undramatic" as possible? 

Like, "It bothers me when you put other people down because I was bullied as a child" versus "I hate it when you call people fat and ugly because it brings up all these bad memories from when I was bullied as a kid and it makes me sad all over again."

You just want to know the reason behind the problem and how to solve it without the elaboration, in other words. Yes?


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## HippoHunter94 (Jan 19, 2012)

Showing emotion is like the devil to a born again: weak as hell.


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## this is my username (Apr 15, 2011)

legallyblonde502 said:


> This seems to be pretty universal. Can anyone explain why you guys hate showing emotion?


 Because it is not one of my primary functions


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## CosmicJalapeno (Sep 27, 2011)

Probably because I'm cynical and don't trust people. Showing emotions can give another person ammunition to use against you. Trust must be established first, and while it is not perfect (anyone can betray you, anyone), it is the best system I can go by versus haphazardly showing emotion externally.


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## Eleventeenth (Aug 24, 2011)

bellisaurius said:


> My emotions work for me, I don't work for my emotions.


That's a _really_ good way of putting it.


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## QuietStorm (Mar 17, 2012)

I don't hate showing it.... when I'm alone(?)
In most situations, I just don't know which emotion or to what degree of emotion is 'acceptable' to be shown and then I feel like I overcompensate or just undershoot expectations.... so most usually I just don't react - or wait until someone else reacts and then I mirror them....
As for being actually emotional and not just reacting? I just don't -feel- anything... it's almost like being in shock even though I'm not. And whether or not it shows on my face, in my mind I'm just thinking over and over 'I should be feeling something, why am I not FEELING anything?'...

I don't know if it's not that I want to ... it's more like I'm apparently incapable.


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## nevermore (Oct 1, 2010)

I don't hate showing emotion at all, but I am very particular about _which _emotions I allow people to see...


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## crazyeddie (Oct 19, 2011)

legallyblonde502 said:


> This seems to be pretty universal. Can anyone explain why you guys hate showing emotion?


For INTPs, at least, emotion can mean a loss of control. Ti and Fe are antagonistic. Fe emotion makes us act "illogically," and that can be terrifying.


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## Eleventeenth (Aug 24, 2011)

crazyeddie said:


> For INTPs, at least, emotion can mean a loss of control. Ti and Fe are antagonistic. Fe emotion makes us act *"illogically,"* and that can be terrifying.


Fe = act illogically = bad decisions = disorder/regret/consequences.

Something like that, from the INTP point of view?! At least that's how I've experienced it in the past, especially when younger (it gets better with time). If Fe trumped Ti, then I'd obviously rely on Fe much more. But since Ti dominates the psyche, it gets the last word most times. With that said, I know Fe users who make good, mature decisions. It's just that to Ti, emotions can seem rash or even impulsive at times.


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## CyberHiker (Aug 8, 2011)

I show emotion. My decisions aren't based on values, emotions or other people, but I think showing emotion is perfectly fine and it doesn't mean I'm a feeler. That "emotions are dangerous" bullshit I find to be an argument of people who are scared of themselves rather than scared of people manipulating them. We are thinkers which means even if we do show our emotions they shouldn't be dictating us (we should be getting on fine regardless of their presence). ENTJs and INTJs are less likely to show their emotions than INTPs and ENTPs (Fi vs. Fe). Also, I feel more comfortable around people I know than people I don't know. I am quite open with my friends and family, show reserved politeness to acquaintances and people I see on a daily basis and am a 'chameleon' when it comes to people I meet. I am never robotic and all the INTPs I know do not seem to be. Neither is my INTJ father who (I think this might be due to age and experience in his field) is quite gregarious when it comes to meeting people.


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## crazyeddie (Oct 19, 2011)

CyberHiker said:


> That "emotions are dangerous" bullshit I find to be an argument of people who are scared of themselves rather than scared of people manipulating them.


It does get better over time. As INTPs mature, Ti and Fe sorta sync up. Look at the Star Trek reboot movie, compare Young Spock and Old Spock.


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## CyberHiker (Aug 8, 2011)

Yes that is true as the INTP matures it definetely happens and I apologize if I have been coming on too strong, I just find it frustrating that other types look up to rationals as if we are the epitome of humanity. I see so many threads on this forum that ask NT's specifically INT's for help. They have to realize that ability and intelligence are not equal to type. I know an ENFP who I would trust any difficult logical problem with and an ISTJ who is a great shoulder to cry on. I find the MBTI as expressed by some websites as inconsistant with reality. Of course some people really do feel uncomfortable showing emotion and that is completely normal but this is turning into a competition of who shows the least emotion.


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## legallyblonde502 (May 14, 2011)

CyberHiker said:


> ENTJs and INTJs are less likely to show their emotions than INTPs and ENTPs (Fi vs. Fe).


How does that make a difference?


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## CyberHiker (Aug 8, 2011)

legallyblonde502 said:


> How does that make a difference?


Well, Fi tends to keep values and emotions a personal thing first because it is an introverted function and second that its very nature is that it is a system meant for the individual. Fe on the other hand is an extroverted system and is meant to 'chameleonate' in its weaker form and even manipulate when it is more potent. So the Fe user (especially when the function is developed) will show more emotions simply because that is the purpose of the function.


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## NeedsNewNameNow (Dec 1, 2009)

They make me feel vulnerable. My Fe naturally wants to show them, it's the other functions that convince me it's a bad idea.


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## bornobtuse (Apr 17, 2012)

I have no real problems with expressing myself emotionally. But, I do try and stay away from situations that warrant it.


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## Shampoocat (Aug 11, 2011)

I don't show too much emotion, because I don't have too much of them. Of course when I'm happy I'm happy, when I'm sad I'm sad, but I don't feel the emotions as intense as some Feeler. The absence of strong emotions (except anger) is my biggest strength, but also my biggest weakness.


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## PisceanReve (Jun 2, 2011)

ehhh I'm actually really bad at them to be honest
Positive emotions: happiness, amusement, etc. I am perfectly fine with showing. Also, I show irritation/frustration if something really gets to me. Sadness or rage, however...I just hate showing. I've only lost my temper once and it was directed at someone, an ESTP, who went to school with me, but I didn't even know him that well at all. To this day I have no idea what triggered that particular argument, but maybe it was just our personalities in general because after that we bickered over a lot of things. 
My emotions are weird because usually when I cry, I'm surprised because I don't know when I'm sad. I think any negative emotions feel like a dull blend of numbness that shows itself without my consent lol However, when I'm watching or reading something touching, I can cry like that.
I think I just don't like it because I feel weak and not composed, but I really like studying other peoples' emotions because I find them so interesting.


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## Arbite (Dec 26, 2010)

Similar to the general consensus in this thread, I dont like the loss of control that comes with externally displaying negative emotions. I have no issue discussing them in an objective manner. In fact, several of my friends have commented how weird it is talking to me about how I feel, because I talk about highly personal, highly emotional subject matter without changing my facial expression.


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## Donkey D Kong (Feb 14, 2011)

I don't hate showing emotion, I just rarely do it naturally.


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## Playful Proxy (Feb 6, 2012)

Emotion is overpowering and any time I give it time to play, it always causes me to do/say something stupid which I must then spend hours contemplating how I will recover and move from there. Even as an NTP, I have a very broad plan I have set in my mind and it gives me a default direction to take when I am not sure. 

No matter what logial action I take as long as it is within reason, I stay within the bounds of that plan and everything moves smoothly. If emotions get involved, I do something stupid, and of the many variables, many begin to shift dramatically. I then am left to pray it does not get in the way of the path I have chosen.


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## Dark Romantic (Dec 27, 2011)

I don't like showing emotions if those emotions are counterproductive to getting my way. I also don't like putting myself under someone else's control; detachment equals power.

I'm more than happy to show emotions that are fun and make me feel good, or that let me express my anger, I just don't think it's rational to show people ways to control you.


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## jeffbobs (Jan 27, 2012)

I think Most NT's are cynical in nature, Not all cynical but less trusting maybe. 

And althou i agree emotions are not a sign of weakness, They are very easy to manipulate. All this stuff on TV with all these misinterpreted facts, they use emotion to cloud peoples judgement. 

The war on drugs for example, The facts show that many illegal drugs are less harmful than many legal medicines used in medical practices. But you use fear and cause anger, and it doesn't matter what the facts say. You are no longer thinking clearly but being manipulated into thinking something that is perfectly normal, is dangerous and will destroy the world. 

It's not a hate of emotions But knowing when to show which emotions at what time's and restricting the chance of them clouding judgement


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## Nexus6 (May 21, 2010)

legallyblonde502 said:


> This seems to be pretty universal. Can anyone explain why you guys hate showing emotion?


Good question...I wouldn't say that I hate showing emotion, but I really don't like using it when trying to make a judgement. My tendency is to suppress it at times. My feelings might not show as passionately in front of mere acquaintances or at all in front of strangers. I would never show unabashed emotion in front of colleagues for instance, that's entirely too vulnerable. I'm sometimes awkward around people who cry openly in public, they seem so raw and naked , I feel awful for them.

However to friends.... it's different and I show my feelings very freely.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

I wouldn't say I "hate" it unless I were to say I hate it because I hate doing anything that feels unnatural, and even when I am feeling something it doesn't feel natural for me to express it. My default is to consider my own feelings insignificant to whatever the situation/bigger picture is and kind of ignore or dismiss them (I'm trying to be nicer to myself and "acknowledge" them before discarding them b/c I think this is the more mentally healthy way to do it.) It feels like something I'd have to force out of myself and it's very exhausting. What has helped me develop my Fi, I think, is to view my emotional states as a fact of the situation and then express them via Te. However, expressing emotion that way tends to come off more as unemotional to others... in turn I end up viewing sharing them in the first place as unnecessary.


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## starscream430 (Jan 14, 2014)

Emotions could be exploited and reveals how you actually feel about a situation. This is dangerous for the fact that you can lose your grip on a situation and leave it to the irrational, uncontrollable world of emotions - something that is quite uncomfortable for me as an INTJ.


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## SoulScream (Sep 17, 2012)

I don't hate to show emotions. I hate to talk about them and it seems to me that people confuse showing with expressing by talking quite often (or I have met mostly such people?). Most of the time I just feel/think that words are just too hollow to be able to articulate that complex powerful stream of "stuff" that is flowing through my head.


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## cannamella (Mar 25, 2014)

I don't hate showing emotions. I smile when I'm happy, I laugh if there's something funny, I hug when I want to, etc. But to cry over real problems is to affirm that I'm weak (cry over movies or novels is a different story) and sometimes when I'm in love, I'm uncomfortable that emotions are trying to take over me which probably could change me in certain ways (this is not easy since emotions might be subjective). Therefore, I need to make sure that these emotions are worth showing.


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## Derange At 170 (Nov 26, 2013)

I don't? When it's involuntary, it's involuntary. You can probably often tell when I'm in a bad or good mood. But in confrontations or other situations where emotions are counter-productive, I try to leave emotions out of it, out of fear of having them getting in the way of resolving it. It's not because I don't 'feel' things or because I'm scared of emotions. But I'll laugh, show love and kindness when the situation calls for it and I would cry too if it's something my body makes me do it (which it hasn't done in many years, though). I'm a pretty excitable person and it shows.

NTs feel as much as anyone. I for one have pretty intense emotions, an INFJ would vouch for that. Jung shouldn't have called the function 'feeling', it's too confusing. Everyone feels. I just don't let my actions and thoughts be guided by what it is that I feel, since there is no way to falsify or test my feelings and they're the product of my mind and thus rather subjective.


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## Kingdom Crusader (Jan 4, 2012)

I just don't like to show that I'm down in the dumps, but other than that, I think it works to my advantage to let my emotions show. But I think that depends on where you live and the culture you're in.


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## custard (Apr 3, 2014)

I've notice you have said: hate SHOWING emotions.
Not having no feelings. C: So it's good to know you know we do have feelings. haha. 

I'm ENTP. (tho I like being by myself more often, and do get tired of people)
I show emotions really expressively. Haha.
Some of the times at least.


Others... I'm not sure I'm even feeling anything. I get too lost in thinking over anything and everything (even the littlest unimportant thing can spark my interest). Soon, I forget to include feelings.

I notice that it is often mistaken that we '_refuse_' to show emotions. D: (I suppose some do?) 
Sometimes, to me at least, emotions are not important in getting the right accurate answer. So I ignore it's existence. Not 'not showing' it because I hate having it, or of people knowing of it, I just think it's a silly emotion to have so I find it unimportant to express.

But most of the time I just do what I want. D: I'm pretty cool with screaming I love you (annoying someone is so much fun, I have no idea why), and hugging a friend if I am needed to do so. But now... accepting a feeling thrown at me. That's a different story.


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## Valtire (Jan 1, 2014)

Showing emotions causes vulnerability. I will only be vulnerable with people I trust.


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## WhiteTigerr (Apr 8, 2014)

Love NTs. Love em


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## CaptainWildChild (Dec 26, 2012)

Because it is not something I can control and I just don't like showing it to people. 
I can show it to the close people in my life but even then it is hard. To show it without feeling embarrassed and vulnerable is just super hard. Also to let something so unlogical and simple to take control over my head is just so scary/frustrating. I really need to trust the person to 100% if I'm going to let them in on my emotional sides.

I have now come to term with this emotion thing and recognised it as a human thing and not something to be embarrassed about. This however was harder when I was younger, I would supress/neglect/deny my emotions to whatever extent. I still do deny/supress/neglect some of my emotions if I think them as unecessary or selfish. This is not often though, as I know you have to deal with them so they can go away. 
I like to deal them alone as it is much easier but I'm not an emotional person so it is alright. 

Though sometimes emotions is a powerful thing! If you use them in a debate or a conflict you can actually win the debate/conflict just to appeal to the viewers emotions which is weird to me but hey if it works I will use it.

But I don't like exactly hate showing emotion but often you just don't have to show that extreme emotion sides. People can tell when I'm in a bad mood or happy but it is not like I would break down in front of dozen of people. I don't let my emotions to rule over my head that is all.


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## Ugunti (Oct 10, 2013)

I don't hate to show my emotions, I just don't.


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## Nexus6 (May 21, 2010)

legallyblonde502 said:


> Interesting. So in a relationship, when emotional issues do come up, the right way to go about dealing with them is to be as to the point and "undramatic" as possible?
> 
> Like, "It bothers me when you put other people down because I was bullied as a child" versus "I hate it when you call people fat and ugly because it brings up all these bad memories from when I was bullied as a kid and it makes me sad all over again."
> 
> You just want to know the reason behind the problem and how to solve it without the elaboration, in other words. Yes?


Well I think in the example you gave here the reason behind the problem was that you were dealing with an insensitive basterd. Maybe a way to solve it (if it was an NT) would be to simply say "would you mind not being such a jack ass? Thanks."

But your way was nicer


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## DualGnosis (Apr 6, 2013)

lol, as said before I generally try to smile because people treat happy people better for some reason. But for any emotions deeper than annoyance, it is strictly a forbidden zone. just turns out like that.


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## Gruvian (Feb 6, 2014)

I don't like to show any kind of emotion because through my eyes, showing emotion is an act of those who are weak. This way I (think) am coming off as easy to hurt. First of all, it's a great deal when I can actually _recognize_ what I'm feeling. I envy people who can feel something, and go "I feel this way!" because I cannot do that. I need to read about which emotion appears in what part of the body, symptoms of stress/anxiety whatever, then when I carefully pick which emotion describes what I'm feeling (this takes forever to pick), I'm still too skeptic to say "I feel ________" as I'm unsure is the emotion I picked right? What if it's not that? It's a lot of pain in the ass, and I need to make sure that if I'm thinking this means I'm happy, I really am happy. But then, I need a reason?! Why am I feeling this emotion? 

I just... I just don't understand the concept of feelings honestly. To get back on the topic, I don't think showing emotion is necessarily and I find it quite useless information. You don't need to know how I'm feeling, and if you knew, I'd be rather uncomfortable to know that. It comes from my need to come off as strong and independent, responsible. If I show any kind of emotion, I think I'm going to come off as needy and an attention-seeker. Not to add that I hardly trust anyone, so I express emotions rarely.


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## illow (Dec 23, 2012)

cos logic prevails. im not sure if im NT or NF but i dont think i show my emotions even when im under pressure. i do it all the time, i done it before where i like dem didnt speak my emotions for couple months, almost a year....i know thats not normal. but it is. for me. i just be myself. and thats a dangerous thing lol. so yeah i try show emotion to fit in, else it just wont work. and yeah, i got a good spirit, i dont think emotions are for expression all the time, you have to ccordinate your feelings and emotions appropriatly. regardless, emotions are a responsibility as well as a human responce. so i would show you what i feel even if you were close occasionly...fuck it. mind your business. not broke dont fix it. emotions can be intense so not expressing them might be even more strain and make take more practise. something like dat.


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## malphigus (Jan 15, 2014)

Well, I don't have anything against showing emotion (but I prefer not) but really, it all boils down whether I need to or not. Sometimes it's needed. Manipulation or just pure trolling. Hehehehehehehe

Maybe because emotions from me.. is an earned thing. :wink:


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## Populifolia (Feb 4, 2014)

We have a way of living our emotions (yes, we have emotions) which is different and analytic. We simply process emotions differently. We live them by thinking about them... a lot.

Even though I am very extroverted and enjoy the company of others, I prefer to experience and learn about what I am going through by my own self. Most of the time, I keep my true emotions for myself simply because I do not want to put myself or other persons in awkward situations. While for some it is easier to live their emotions with the opinion of others, I find myself more comfortable inside my own head when confronted to them. There is a lot of trust invested in the few persons who can actually see this vulnerable side of our personality, I guess...


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

I don't hate showing it. Why would I? I have _mastered_ it. It works for me.


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## HBIC (Feb 28, 2014)

I just hate showing sadness and fury, because that makes me feel like others can smell weakness. I have no issues showing other emotions though, I'm fairly expressive for an INTJ.


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## Scelerat (Oct 21, 2012)

It's not that I hate showing emotion, so much as I think that most people show way too much emotion way too often. Just to add, expect their emotions to be respected/taking into considering way too fucking much,


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## Strelok (Aug 16, 2013)

Derange At 170 said:


> Jung shouldn't have called the function 'feeling', it's too confusing.


I like "personal logic vs impersonal logic".


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## INTP_Polly (Apr 11, 2014)

If I start showing emotion and you are the one who made me do it....hide.

I don't place any priority on how I feel about things. If you ask me how I feel about something I'm often stumped. I have very little skill in controlling my emotions when they are provoked. It feels awful. I will be pissed at any person who provoked the loss of control.


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

pick any of the following
A-emotions, we don't need no steenking emotions
B-you want the truth you can't handle the truth
C-emotions, what are these emotions that thoust speaketh of?
D- if you picked A,B,or C then you are correct


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## hanzer (Mar 20, 2014)

legallyblonde502 said:


> This seems to be pretty universal. Can anyone explain why you guys hate showing emotion?


If it helps, you could think of it more like "Why does a diabetic hate eating cake or drinking beer?". This might be an especially useful perspective if you often have the "What, are you too good to drink with me?" type of reaction.

Of course, an NT isn't necessarily sick or broken in any way (not an "emotional diabetic") but thinking of it that way might be a useful behavioral device for those who have no other means to cope with the differences.


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## -Alpha- (Dec 30, 2013)

Scelerat said:


> It's not that I hate showing emotion, so much as I think that most people show way too much emotion way too often. Just to add, expect their emotions to be respected/taking into considering way too fucking much,


Agreed. I will use emotion when I enter into a relationship or something, but a lot of displays seem inappropriate for the situation. I'm just not ready to hug and cry all day.

As an additional note: I do think some of the 'thinkers' on this board mistake being a thinker for acting as though they're devoid of emotions, which doesn't seem to be the case with STs on the board. I'm not entirely sure why this is the case, as you're unlikely to see a feeler claiming that they were not capable of thinking.


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## Aha (Mar 6, 2014)

I do not hate showing emotion. I appreciate it when people are sincere


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## VIIZZY (Mar 22, 2014)

I have a hard time understanding my emotions and as such expressing them as well.


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## spookyfornever (Jun 5, 2013)

When we do, things get.........extreme. emotions are our glowing orange spot, and we don't want anyone shooting it with a plasma cutter.


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## Scelerat (Oct 21, 2012)

Strelok said:


> I like "personal logic vs impersonal logic".


You may, but it's not accurate. Logic implies premise , premise, conclusion. I think socionics has it "right" with "logic" and "ethics".


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## MrJunge (Mar 24, 2012)

Its not that I go out of my way to *not* show emotion, but that I must go out of my way to do so; my Ti is the arbiter of when its appropriate to show emotion, and it often works as a filter. For the latter, my way of showing emotion is sometimes cracking a good book that addresses whatever objective features or situation are affecting or structurally part of whatever subjective experience I am having; working along with Fe, it may also mean my Ti showing my emotion through accommodation of the environment, which I guess can sometimes be pinned to Si. Or my Ti tries to state my emotional state matter-of-factly, although this is only when its easy to express my emotion in words or my feelings need no more than words.

Additionally, on occasion I feel emotions are distracting, dishonest or manipulative depending on the nature of display, so I avoid certain forms of display; you could say, for example, the "matter-of-factlly" self-report of what I'm feeling is direct, sincere and has for it no other end in mind then itself. There are other displays that seem overly-theatrical; almost to be emotions about emotions, which is to say emotions performed for other ends.


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## JoanCrawford (Sep 27, 2012)

legallyblonde502 said:


> This seems to be pretty universal. Can anyone explain why you guys hate showing emotion?


Because were seen to be intelligent and in control. It embarrasses us when people witness our breakdowns. I feel like I've gotten a lot better about it, though.


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## herinb (Aug 24, 2013)

I've been around a lot of NFs the past two years, and I've been learning to embrace my "little F". I think it's hard for NTs because our emotions are not always logical, and can be difficult to control when we don't understand them.


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## ieatgingers (Nov 4, 2013)

I hate weakness and vulnerability, which is something I associate showing emotion with. Emotional things make my skin crawl. All in all, while I have emotions, I'm absolutely positive that they are less intense than the average person's.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Well I don't think anyone who knows me well would think that. 

Anyone who knows me well knows that I can be very effected by my emotions.

I just do not display them regularly, or voice them. If anything I have had a problem with bottling my emotions and it all escaping in combustion (anyone who witnessed my combustion knows I am human)

But honestly I don't know the last time I genuinely cried. I didn't cry when my dad died. I was wondering how I was supposed to feel. And then I wondered if I was supposed to feel bad that he died. My friends and I went out after his funeral and they remarked how weird it was I was so unaffected. I was effected tho but I wasn't VOICING it. 

In my case anyways I feel that it is a pride thing. I have a hard time asking for help. And this includes humanizing myself. I think theres a very big part of me that would love an embrace when I am in crisis (just a small genuine one) I don't ask and people think I am against affection at this point. I don't wanna tell people that I now except hugs (lol). Besides if theres one thing I got going for me its my credibility as far as being taken serious. 

Anyways my affections when displayed are very pure and intense.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

I see emotion as weakness oftentimes- it clouds logic and reason. I save my emotions for rare instances- it means more that way.


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## TruthDismantled (Jan 16, 2013)

Speaking as someone confused about whether they are INTP or ISTP, but safe in the knowledge that I share low Fe with the NTPs, I personally hate showing emotion because I feel extremely awkward and often kind of weak doing it. I also find that the emotions suddenly overwhelm me and I don't really realize how sad I am or how much something is affecting me until I express it. 

So for me, I hate showing emotion perhaps because I hate showing my true emotions to myself, and expressing it is how I become more aware of the extent of my emotion.


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## Calpan1832 (Oct 19, 2013)

NT hate emotions, I don't feel so. Not speaking for all of them. But many a time I don't know I am feeling and what to do with it. It makes me useless. Leaves me in the state of confusion, in the gray territory._ I need a emotional guide, because I can use lot of learning. 

But worthy disciple needs worthy mentor. And I am very picky. _I would love to have an ISFP as my emotional mentor.


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## The Marauder (Apr 30, 2014)

Hmm..I really don't know, I guess it just embarrasses me.
My mother is probably the only person who has seen me breakdown and cry and even then I felt terribly embarrassed. I tried running off to my room to cry in peace, but she saw I was on the verge of tears and wanted to know what was wrong. She knew something must have been horribly wrong to have evoked such an emotion from me.
I'm actually full of emotion, I'd just rather keep it hidden until I can let it out privately and avoid the embarrassment.


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## jim87 (Apr 17, 2014)

Its not that we hate showing emotion.....its that we don't have a lot of emotion to show.

Dudes...we are just trying to be ourselves...man please accept.

We hate it when people try to force us to show emotion.....leave us the [email protected] alone!....LOLZ


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## Deus Absconditus (Feb 27, 2011)

The NT in me sees no point for it, unless with significant other.
The 8 in me looks at it as a weakness, to the highest degree, unless with significant other. 
Personally, I as a whole, think its a waste of time thats unproductive and causes a blur to my reality, unless of course with my significant other.

Ironically, I have an anger problem that ive been working with my whole life, and anger is technically an emotion which I show on occasion. I still think when I lose control by showing my anger, that I'm showing a weakness, no matter how powerful I felt in the moment. True strength to me is the consolidation of emotion, not its expression. Thats just my worldview though, pretty much I have no use for it besides romantic relationships.


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## SweetPickles (Mar 19, 2012)

I think people hate showing emotion because that makes them appear vulnerable, weak or out of control. Sometimes they may be feeling the emotion strongly but it doesn't show. Maybe they just aren't feeling it at the same depth. Or maybe they are really lizard people from outer space who have no emotions at all...it's a mystery. :kitteh:

I find it intriguing when some people say it's weak, they must look at people who wear their hearts on their sleeves like they are fools...having a complete meltdown is embarrassing; but showing normal ranges of emotion: happy, sad, angry, etc is what makes us human? 

I can understand leaving your poker face on at work. What about outside of a job? God forbid someone cry...what do they think will happen? If I saw someone cry, I wouldn't be like "Wow, look at that weak poor excuse for a person...they have completely lost their minds"...I'd empathize with them because life can be a bitch sometimes. If someone were to judge me for showing emotion, I don't think I'd care much because having emotions is normal.


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## Deus Absconditus (Feb 27, 2011)

MelanieM said:


> I think people hate showing emotion because that makes them appear vulnerable, weak or out of control. Sometimes they may be feeling the emotion strongly but it doesn't show. Maybe they just aren't feeling it at the same depth. Or maybe they are really lizard people from outer space who have no emotions at all...it's a mystery. :kitteh:


Some may also not be aware of the same range of emotions as others are. I usually am either happy, angry, or "collective", but my girlfriend has a far wider range of emotions that I cant comprehend sometimes, while my sisters emotions have so much depth to them. 

My point is maybe some are naturally aware of many more emotions in comparison to others, which can cause a confusion on both ends. Obviously every one has emotions, "calm" is even an emotion, but the awareness of such emotions could drastically differ per individual. Thats my theory on it.

I agree though that not wanting to express whatever emotions one is aware of is a sign that they perceived as a weakness, or at the least irrelevant to their world view.


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## SweetPickles (Mar 19, 2012)

Shadow Logic said:


> Some may also not be aware of the same range of emotions as others are. I usually am either happy, angry, or "collective", but my girlfriend has a far wider range of emotions that I cant comprehend sometimes, while my sisters emotions have so much depth to them.
> 
> My point is maybe some are naturally aware of many more emotions in comparison to others, which can cause a confusion on both ends. Obviously every one has emotions, "calm" is even an emotion, but the awareness of such emotions could drastically differ per individual. Thats my theory on it.
> 
> I agree though that not wanting to express whatever emotions one is aware of is a sign that they perceived as a weakness, or at the least irrelevant to their world view.


I'm glad you said that because I have always felt I had a very wide range of emotional depth (I prefer the term passionate  ), I was also taught to never push down your feelings (damn my psychologist mother!), so I grew up thinking it was okay. My husband is an ENTJ and isn't exactly Mr. Sensitivity lol. One time, I just started crying out of nowhere and had no idea why nor did I feel bad about it. It wasn't sobbing or anything...then after that I was watching some show and started laughing...my husband was just sitting there observing thinking wtf was that? At this point we just laugh at our differences, but my emotions puzzle him in the same way his lack of emotions puzzles me. I told him he was a robot once, and he didn't like that at all! Another poster said they hated it when people tried to get those emotions out of him, I am so guilty about doing that. It's not because I want to see them cry...it's more like, is there anything there? Do you care?

I also agree somewhat with what you said that some people are not naturally aware of the many emotions, I would change that to if someone choosing not to deal with their emotions, or teaches themselves to push them down or compartmentalize them they may not be aware of what they are feeling at all and it may feel scary, or like loss of control.

When we were children we all had emotions right? So somewhere down the line we learned how to cope with them to make it through life, I think yes some people are more sensitive but we all have these feelings. My personal belief, which I'm pretty sure isn't shared with the NT community is that when I actually express these feelings, I feel relief, I feel better. I think holding it all in physically harms your body, causes stress...or an outpouring of anger and frustration. I have also heard people say that expressing their feelings is actually even more painful then keeping it in. Who am I to say they are wrong? 

I think it's a mixture of nature (emotional range), how we chose to cope, what works best for us, and how we perceive emotions/feelings in general.


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## Deus Absconditus (Feb 27, 2011)

MelanieM said:


> I'm glad you said that because I have always felt I had a very wide range of emotional depth (I prefer the term passionate  ), I was also taught to never push down your feelings (damn my psychologist mother!), so I grew up thinking it was okay. My husband is an ENTJ and isn't exactly Mr. Sensitivity lol. One time, I just started crying out of nowhere and had no idea why nor did I feel bad about it. It wasn't sobbing or anything...then after that I was watching some show and started laughing...my husband was just sitting there observing thinking wtf was that? At this point we just laugh at our differences, but my emotions puzzle him in the same way his lack of emotions puzzles me. I told him he was a robot once, and he didn't like that at all! Another poster said they hated it when people tried to get those emotions out of him, I am so guilty about doing that. It's not because I want to see them cry...it's more like, is there anything there? Do you care?
> 
> I also agree somewhat with what you said that some people are not naturally aware of the many emotions, I would change that to if someone choosing not to deal with their emotions, or teaches themselves to push them down or compartmentalize them they may not be aware of what they are feeling at all and it may feel scary, or like loss of control.
> 
> ...


I agree with everything but I have problems with the bold. The problem I have most though, is that you think we all at some point were aware of these emotions in childhood but I think that not everyone is born or ends with the same awareness but instead it is suited to the persons personality as a whole. When I was a child I was never really aware of emotions at all, being very blunt to others including family members. Eventually I learned that others emotions differ gradually from my own, but that doesnt mean Im dysfunctional or that they are, but instead we are just different individuals with a different range of emotions, and this difference is present at all ages including childhood. Its just different journeys that we experience because thats what makes us individually different.

I like to compare ranges of emotions (possibly thoughts also) to color. While someone may be aware high, medium, and low frequencies (of the light spectrum), someone else may be aware of all the differing wavelengths within the high, medium, and low frequencies. Where you may know all the shades of red, I may only be able comprehend a few of those shades while being blind or oblivious to others. Where I may be aware that im angry, you may be aware of the type of angry you are that I dont even consider or pay attention to.


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## Old Intern (Nov 20, 2012)

Well, I try not to loose my composure sometimes. It's not about feeling weak but more about not cluttering up the picture and loosing credibility so that whatever the real problem is won't be negotiated or handled. ? Feelings are a by-product or like a stickynote of life that something is worth doing again or else needs to be handled in a better way next time. I just don't understand evaluative band wagons where nobody wants to identify some way to handle it, or do it better, or understand it, whatever the case may be.

If I notice that somebody said something unkind, I might just say ouch. If I have a vague idea that somebody might be upset I will probably say nothing because I'm not sure if anything is real or just an incidental appearance of something. Sometimes I deal with things in writing because it has a better chance of working better. Some people flat out lie or get hissy fit-ie - when coming to an agreement would not be that hard to do instead.

I don't hug people unless I know *they* are huggy people and that is what they understand and want. I'm not all that comfortable with it. To me, unless somebody died or maybe if someone stole your flash drive, hugging discredits that a real problem is at hand?
Sometimes you are in a spot where you have to feel bad and not much else can be done, you have a loss, okay - cry but do it quickly? or intensely or privately but the point is to do what you have to do so you can move on to whatever is next?


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## SONxOFxFIRE (Jun 8, 2014)

I can recognize most of the time that my emotions are primarily about me. What I want. What I need (or think I need.) I try to view the world objectively, keeping in mind that my emotions do not guide others or define my circumstances. I can be led (and quite often misled) by my emotions or I can deny them that power over me and lead myself with reason and logic. That's what I choose to do. 

I appear to be cold and distant all the time, callous even to my loved ones. I've had to explain to my wife on several occasions that it isn't that I don't have emotions or that I don't feel, it's that I naturally process information and my surroundings without tapping into that emotional reserve. It's difficult to do in a society where we're expected to constantly wear our hearts on our sleeves. I remember six years ago when my grandmother died. My family was devastated. She had helped raise me for part of my life, we were close I suppose. But I was chastised by my family for not crying, for not giving into those emotions the way everyone else was. And it's not that I felt like crying but decided to be strong instead. No, I never even felt like it. There was no point in crying, it couldn't accomplish anything and I certainly wasn't going to fake an emotion that I didn't really feel just to appease everyone else.

I don't believe that emotion is weakness, just irrationality.


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## Sevenblade (May 26, 2014)

Why? Why do some people love showing emotion? I can't help feeling that emotions become somehow diluted, even corrupted, by being shared with just anybody. I can't help feeling that there's something wrong with a person's psyche when they don't have an instinct to protect their intimate parts. By "protect," I don't mean to imply that I think they'd be attacked if exposed; in our touchy-feely society, that's unlikely in most quarters. But...I don't know. A heart just doesn't strike me as the sort of thing you expose in public. I can't help feeling that that doing so makes something pure impure. 

So, obviously, I feel all kinds of things. I don't see any reason - or feel any need - to express all of my feelings. I mean...why? They're mine. I like them, usually, so why shouldn't I keep them to myself? The only emotion I don't have issues showing, most of the time, is anger, including lighter shades such as irritation, impatience, frustration. What I care about expressing is my thoughts. I've known people to "show their feelings," to the point of foisting them on others and bombarding people with their every nuanced detail, in order to _avoid_ expressing their true thoughts, which they feel wouldn't be received/accepted. But, since "nobody can argue with how you feel"...

DISCLAIMER: I grew up with dysfunctional Fe-doms, so this question does irk me a bit just in its existence. I mean, why does it bother some types so much? So someone doesn't want to show their emotions. So what? Let them be - it's how they are. I was subjected to endless variations of it throughout childhood. Maybe I shouldn't have stopped to answer this question. I'm trying to give it more serious thought, but honestly, all that comes to mind is that some people just don't experience as many emotional ups and downs as others. Throughout any given day, I tend to be on a pretty even keel. Unless something happens (good or bad), I'm not likely to have much on my emotional radar anyway. When I do have significant emotional activity, it's usually too intense to share - I wouldn't know how, and it wouldn't do the feeling justice. I don't think my capacity for emotion is less; if anything it's the other way around (IMO). Maybe I save it all up for those rare times, I don't know. Maybe I'm an all-or-nothing person, at least in this regard.


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## nuut (Jan 13, 2014)

I don't _hate_ showing it, i just don't handle it very well.


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## Strelok (Aug 16, 2013)

Why do NFs hate showing impersonal logic? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


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## Moya (May 22, 2012)

I only have a problem with emotions that are deeper for me. I'll express most things that aren't sadness or insecurity because those are weak spots for me. I feel vulnerable and guilty for it because I think, first of all, that my feelings aren't valid, and secondly, that I should be able to soldier through anything and not get hung up on it. Unfortunately, this has left me with a lot of trust issues and anxiety.

I do think I should clarify, though; I will express certain emotions to a certain extent. In the right circumstances, I can be almost bubbly or cheerful. I just generally prefer to present myself neutrally and without much pull either way, especially since I spend a lot of my time thinking and mulling things over before I can confidently make a statement.


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## CrimsonBlue (Jun 11, 2014)

Showing emotions is like having yourself be bare infront of another person.It`s a sign of weakness,which the other person can use against you.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

Usually sharing doesn't seem to serve much of a purpose. I tend to view things in terms of their use, especially emotions. If I can get some benefit out of it on a rare occasion I will do it, but I tend to think there isn't much ROI on sharing emotion and it's more of a pointless waste of energy. Maybe it's because NT's tend to have more of a utilitarian perspective.


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## Strelok (Aug 16, 2013)

ninjahitsawall said:


> Usually sharing doesn't seem to serve much of a purpose. I tend to view things in terms of their use, especially emotions. If I can get some benefit out of it on a rare occasion I will do it, but I tend to think there isn't much ROI on sharing emotion and it's more of a pointless waste of energy. Maybe it's because NT's tend to have more of a utilitarian perspective.


It's also your lack of Fe.


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## SONxOFxFIRE (Jun 8, 2014)

My initial post was done hastily and on my phone. I just wanted to reiterate and try to drive my own point home a bit better.

One of the more common responses I've seen in this thread is that showing emotion means showing weakness, that vulnerability is somehow bad. Let me say that as an INTP I don't feel like that's the case. I have no problem showing emotion or being vulnerable with those close to me _when the feelings are genuine._ The problem I have comes in being expected to give an emotional response to something when I myself feel no need to do so. Inauthentic displays of emotion for the purpose of fitting into another person's expectations is self deception and that's not how we roll.

But all that aside, the primary reason that I try my hardest to avoid giving into emotion is that it compromises my objectivity. As an INTP an unbiased and objective worldview is very important to me. It is the only tool I have in seeking the absolute truth that I believe to be there in every situation. So when my Ego-centered emotions come into the picture I risk losing that objectivity and succumbing to the dreaded subjective self-absorbed agenda for which I hold so many others in contempt. The world that we live in, a world of logic and reason and rules, does not revolve around me. But my emotions tell me otherwise. That's why they can be acknowledged but not fed, not given into.

So that's what I meant when I said that emotion is not weakness, but irrationality. "Emotion is weakness," may be a bit of an oversimplification.


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## Strelok (Aug 16, 2013)

SONxOFxFIRE said:


> One of the more common responses I've seen in this thread is that showing emotion means showing weakness, that vulnerability is somehow bad. Let me say that as an INTP I don't feel like that's the case. I have no problem showing emotion or being vulnerable with those close to me *when the feelings are genuine*. The problem I have comes in being expected to give an emotional response to something when I myself feel no need to do so. *Inauthentic displays of emotion for the purpose of fitting into another person's expectations is self deception and that's not how we roll*.


I feel the exact same way as you.

It's really only the Te users (all the xxTJs) who walk around thinking that any display of emotion is some sort of horrible weakness that should be destroyed at all costs. Another reason I can't get along with those types.


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## yentipeee (Jun 19, 2013)

legallyblonde502 said:


> This seems to be pretty universal. Can anyone explain why you guys hate showing emotion?


Hate is an emotion :tongue:


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## Tezcatlipoca (Jun 6, 2014)

I do not hate showing emotion. I hate being manipulated!


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## ieatgingers (Nov 4, 2013)

It really isn't that I hate showing emotion as much as that I'm really just not an emotional person.
It isn't my first instinct to react to things emotionally. I tend to step back and think rather than feel. I've found that that's often the most effective way to deal with things.


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## LetsHarmonize (May 29, 2014)

I agree with above. I prefer to analyze a situation and act accordingly than to immediately let my feelings take over.

That being said. I do love opening up every once in a while and letting my emotions out with a close friend. Other times I just have my own little personal emotional outburst. Both of these are pretty rare for me though.


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## Helweh18 (Jul 30, 2013)

II Kung foO fight II said:


> I suppose this is part of my nature. It's likely due to the fact that I feel that anyone I do not know is less of importance to me therefore the lack of emotional response. Whereas those I know are part of my life.


LOLLLLL, I love your signature. Hilarious!


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## Sovereign (Aug 19, 2011)

I hate showing emotions because emotions are powerful internal forces that I am subjected to, but cannot control, and are a part of me. 

A part of me that I cannot control can be used against me, much like an addiction (for example). Therefore, obscuring my emotional position leads to favorable changes in power dynamics (or, perhaps more realistically, lack of unfavorable changes in power dynamics). Dismissing or ignoring emotions is also much more energy efficient than actually processing them, provided one can repress them effectively.

TL;DR: because I'm a lazy paranoiac.


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