# Reactivity



## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

I'm curious how reactive types (or anyone who feels like answering) experience their reactivity.

Also, does it still count as reactivity if you feel reactive but you don't express it? I admit I'm a bit unsure, because I experience myself as reactive but I don't always seem to come off that way.


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## Aha (Mar 6, 2014)

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## Aha (Mar 6, 2014)




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## HellCat (Jan 17, 2013)

Nonsense said:


> I'm curious how reactive types (or anyone who feels like answering) experience their reactivity.
> 
> Also, does it still count as reactivity if you feel reactive but you don't express it? I admit I'm a bit unsure, because I experience myself as reactive but I don't always seem to come off that way.


Signs add up and something feels off , If under stress I flip out and @_Animal_ @_CaptSwan_ and @_Cosmic Orgasm_ have to talk me down because I am a crazy six sometimes with a shitty inf Fi

Two years ago I met this guy, knew he was wrong for me was trying to buy me off based on how I looked, arrogant prick to the core. My brother said "won't last" 

My response " FUCK YOU WATCH ME MARRY HIM." Nobody tells me what to do, whom to be, how my life will go. Without respectfully consulting me first. 

Do I lack wisdom sometimes..God yes but now that I realize I am crazy and a fucking 684 with the worlds worst ability to process emotionally without slowing down and breathing and stopping the immediate lashing out counterphobic reactions I have ...


I force myself, every time something happens now to stop and think. 

Now where is the logic in this? Don't do something stupid! THINK. Strategize, get your whiteboard!

I hope that helped.


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

@Aha
I see.


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## Aha (Mar 6, 2014)

Nonsense said:


> I'm curious how reactive types (or anyone who feels like answering) experience their reactivity.
> 
> Also, does it still count as reactivity if you feel reactive but you don't express it? I admit I'm a bit unsure, because I experience myself as reactive but I don't always seem to come off that way.


Laughing. Loud. Winking. Jumpin. Kicking. Maniacally suggestively smiling


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

1. Withdraw from the situation 
2. Write a song, write in my diary, take a long walk with headphones, or if it's a case of romantic rejection or something I need to talk out, I'll talk to other friends who I trust about it, but no matter what, while I am emoting I will BE ALONE. If I talk to other friends it's strictly online.. because I need to be alone
3. Figure myself out
4. Confront situation to turn it in my favor, or come to understand that the problem was in my head (aka I'm not REALLY being rejected, I'm just imagining that I'm being rejected)



Or...

Get angry and..
well let's just say, my anger can and does make grown men and very tough women cry. I can rip someone down in very few concise, cutting phrases when they have pissed me off. Most people live their whole lives and never see me in angry robot-mode. But if I am properly triggered, and the above has not worked, and I have tried over and over to say it nicely.. let's just put it this way.. it's not a mistake someone needs to make twice. Either they never want to see me again after that, or if they do, they know not to fucking do that again because nobody wants to deal with animal robot.

When angry Animal rawrs at someone who doesn't deserve it, or someone who triggered me becasue of my own issues and me being an asshole, then I apologize endlessly and try to make it up to them. :/




All that being said, I am talking about extreme situations.

Day to day, I'm fairly "reactive" in the colloquial sense, I think? I confront whatever comes, as it comes. I'm pretty open/ out there/ expressive. I'm a strong band leader.. I am calm in a crisis.. I'm alert during every conflict and able to sort it out without blinking an eye. It doesn't feel like "reactivity" to me though.. it's more like confidence/ awareness. Conflict doesn't scare me. Someone talks, I answer. Etc.

Withdrawing happens when something triggers shame - it's mostly my reaction to an imaginary rejection, which happens multiple times a day when I'm romantically interested..lol. When I think "reactive" in enneagram terms, I'm thinking about situations where there's a trust issue or a deep problem, me feeling rejected, etc. Some trigger. When I'm emotionally triggered, I withdraw.


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

@Animal
Haha, I tend to act like a child when I'm angry. It's pretty sad. :tongue: Or at least I don't tend to think very clearly. It's like lava fills my brain and melts everything. :sad:


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## HellCat (Jan 17, 2013)

@Nonsense when I get phobic. I hide so nobody sees it other than my cat. Then I hug him and rock for hours watching horror movies, serial killers relax me. 

I do a lot of yoga to stay even keel when my emotions are actually appearing. I literally sneered at the thought of them controlling me GRrrr 

Do you see your emotion in colors at all? I do in colors and words. its trippy.


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## Aha (Mar 6, 2014)




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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

LeoCat said:


> Do you see your emotion in colors at all? I do in colors and words. its trippy.


Not really. o: I guess it's more visceral than that, but I do try to make sense of them and sometimes making analogues can help me with the expression. =P 

I'm also not so in control with them. A lot of the time I let them get the better of me, and then afterwards I get to feel stupid. 



> serial killers relax me.


Ah, haha. I do not deal well with gore, especially when I'm already in an anxious mood. :bored: Kind of a shame because it limits the amount of dark and fucked up shit I can appreciate.


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## HellCat (Jan 17, 2013)

Nonsense said:


> Not really. o: I guess it's more visceral than that, but I do try to make sense of them and sometimes making analogues can help me with the expression. =P
> 
> I'm also not so in control with them. A lot of the time I let them get the better of me, and then afterwards I get to feel stupid.
> 
> ...



I feel strangely protective of you. Anytime you need to talk, please do.


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

LeoCat said:


> I feel strangely protective of you. Anytime you need to talk, please do.


Haha well, I think I'll survive, but I guess I'll keep it in mind if I get in a venting mood.


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## Aha (Mar 6, 2014)

Nonsense said:


> Not really. o: I guess it's more visceral than that, but I do try to make sense of them and sometimes making analogues can help me with the expression. =P
> 
> I'm also not so in control with them. A lot of the time I let them get the better of me, and then afterwards I get to feel stupid.
> 
> ...





Nonsense said:


> Haha well, I think I'll survive, but I guess I'll keep it in mind if I get in a venting mood.


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

@Nonsense watch and learn:

@Aha dafuq man can you contribute something more meaningful to this thread more than gifs? Also, that fucking last pic. Bro, I didn't need to see that one. 

But yeah, reactivity to me is like a need to instigate conflict whenever I think something is unjust, unfair etc, like Aha pissing over this thread. I mean yeah, I got the first time around, do we need to spam this thread with pointless gifs to prove the point? It has to do with innocence projection when it comes to type 8 at least.


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

ephemereality said:


> @_Nonsense_ watch and learn:
> 
> @_Aha_ dafuq man can you contribute something more meaningful to this thread more than gifs? Also, that fucking last pic. Bro, I didn't need to see that one.
> 
> But yeah, reactivity to me is like a need to instigate conflict whenever I think something is unjust, unfair etc, like Aha pissing over this thread. I mean yeah, I got the first time around, do we need to spam this thread with pointless gifs to prove the point? It has to do with innocence projection when it comes to type 8 at least.


See, I'm not even sure what to make of his posts. :tongue:

And yeah, that makes sense for type 8 reactivity. To me I guess it has more to do with feeling defensive, or being annoyed that I'm misunderstood. >_> (Crappy explanation, but I'm thinking about a few other things atm. Ah multitasking.)


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Nonsense said:


> See, I'm not even sure what to make of his posts. :tongue:
> 
> And yeah, that makes sense for type 8 reactivity. To me I guess it has more to do with feeling defensive, or being annoyed that I'm misunderstood. >_> (Crappy explanation, but I'm thinking about a few other things atm. Ah multitasking.)


For the first post, I figured he was trying to instigate a reaction in lieu with reactivity though maybe I am entirely missing the point, fuck if I know because Ne works in mysterious ways, but essentially it's like a projection of thinking that if I were in that situation I wouldn't want that happen to me because it'd make me feel vulnerable, without protection and support etc so I must prevent that by defending against what I think is the threat to this idea and since it's usually an external force manifesting itself and operating against this, it tends to lead to conflict because of people having different interests. 

I think I feel more frustrated when I feel misunderstood though I can't quite think of how I would react when it comes to that as of right now. However, it happens that I go "I'm not like that" a lot when people make sweeping statements that I think somehow would apply to me. I think that would be in line with 4 reactivity, reacting against the idea of not being unique?

@Aha if you attempted to get someone getting pissed off at you well then good job, you succeeded. Was it really necessary to go that far in order to prove reactivity, though?


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## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

Nonsense said:


> See, I'm not even sure what to make of his posts. :tongue:


Urban Dictionary: Neffing


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

ephemereality said:


> I think I feel more frustrated when I feel misunderstood though I can't quite think of how I would react when it comes to that as of right now.


Yeah, it's frustrating, but it helps if I get to set them straight I guess. If I don't feel like that's doable, that's pretty :bored:

As for Aha trying to get reactions, I guess if I feel like the person is obviously trying for that, I'd rather stay calm than give them what they want. Right now I'm more bemused than anything anyway, but I guess sometimes I don't mind trying to restrain my reactions so the other party won't get the upper hand so to speak.


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## Paradigm (Feb 16, 2010)

Nonsense said:


> Also, does it still count as reactivity if you feel reactive but you don't express it? I admit I'm a bit unsure, because I experience myself as reactive but I don't always seem to come off that way.


I had to convince @_Cosmic Orgasm_ I was a reactive type because of this exact reason: I don't outwardly express it all that often. For me, personally, it comes from two sources: being introverted and having a speech impediment. So not only do I have to work past my natural tendency to be inwardly-oriented, but I have to put so much effort into expressing myself verbally and still deal with the likelihood that no one understands me. Plus, I guess, being physically weak and needing help to do anything limits my actions.

Anyway, point is, I'm very inwardly reactive but if I want to do anything about it then I probably won't be able to, which I cope with by seeming outwardly apathetic. As I get older, a lot more of it is inward and/or thought over first, which could partly be maturity, but also a learned response.

I'm also not entirely sure how healthy this response is, but it is what it is.




> As for Aha trying to get reactions, I guess if I feel like the person is obviously trying for that, I'd rather stay calm than give them what they want. Right now I'm more bemused than anything anyway, but I guess sometimes I don't mind trying to restrain my reactions so the other party won't get the upper hand so to speak.


Personally, if I were the maker of this thread, I'd probably hit the report button for spamming. I actually had to stop myself from hitting it for you :tongue: Reason tells me it's better to ask him to stop first, but ugh.

It's also apparently "reactive" to test people for their own reactions, but I find that sort of testing immature and disrespectful... So, I dunno. My reactivity is just a lot more quiet and subtle, on the whole.


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