# NF Males: What do you look for in a woman?



## IcarusDreams (Apr 23, 2011)

I voted "quiet, intellectual", but truly any of the first 3 mixed in is OK. I do not like too ambitious, "CEO" types but not due to silly societal gender expectations-I just don't even like it even outside romantic situations, regardless gender. People are hardly one thing or the other, though so I am sure the poll could have had tons more of options (no offense intended to be sure.)

Totally out there can be fun. People should be themselves, even if it's outside expectations. Wild can be taken "too far" (meaning more "not to my taste" rather than "wrong"), but it all depends on the individual, as I am not one to tell people how "wild" or "tame"/"self-restrained" they should be.

Quiet, intellectual is so nice, because they are thinkers, and you can share endlessly with them about all sorts of interesting (to us, at least) stuff. It makes the relationship so much richer, IMHO.

Sweet, "feminine", is also nice because I can relate with that personality-not because I want to be "the strong one" on the relationship. I am also sweet and love to be understood on that level (sweet+sweet=sweeter, at least theoretically.) BTW, I don't like diva attitudes on any person, male or female, though one can be sweet and confident/"showy" at the same time-not ALL types of "vanity" are stupid/shallow, IME. Sweetness is very charming, especially if it's authentic/genuine.


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## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

I voted quiet, intellectual girl. ^_^

I don't really care if she's what others consider good looking, or if she's a very feminine girl, or any of that. As long as she's very affectionate and loyal and actually has things to say, I'm good.


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## Kito (Jan 6, 2012)

All the girls I've been attracted to are really aloof and wild, so the first option. It's nice and refreshing, and never boring!


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## angularvelocity (Jun 15, 2009)

Of those options, quiet and intellectual. I'm dating a really smart woman right now. She was a vice principal at 24 when I met her and she is very ambitious and intelligent. That's what I'm attracted to.


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## Mr.Blayz (Nov 20, 2012)

you can be both option one and two, I dont personally feel intelligence is what makes people comfortable and fun to be with. I believe the wildest hobbies and activities are the funnest, and a sweet sensitive type leads to less conflict. I hate when girls brag about how big of a bitch they can be, I don't want to give all my heart to a girl so she can be awful towards me, I prefer a girl that will pry into my feelings so she can comfort me and make me feel better. lastly I believe that guys and girls both have negative yet often true stereotypes on those they prefer, guys wanting some hot hoochymomma that puts out, and girls wanting a man that can take care of them in the other words (gold diggers) both of these types of people no doubt exist, but a next level person which also exists for both men and women is a person that picks and chooses based on personality and character. it's harder to find someone if you are now looking for both someone with atleast average looks and personality so if you are a next level type person you should give yourself a pat on the back


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## cascadiarocks (Jul 7, 2012)

All in Twilight said:


> She has to be drop dread gorgeous, sexy, good at cooking and cleaning, she must never oppose me, she must always do what I tell her to do and she must be able to laugh when I say this.


hahahahaha this is why I can't be with a fellow ENFP


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## livingunique333 (Dec 28, 2012)

Of all the types, I think I'd work best with an ENFJ. I know that NF has to be there, I've tried with other types and it just doesn't work for me.

I think an ENFP could work, too. Once I'm in a relationship, I have no problem with affection and attention. If I genuinely care, it's pretty much impossible to smother me.


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## Mr.Blayz (Nov 20, 2012)

I say, to catch an enfp male... zoey deschenel off of yes man is almost a garaunty, not trying to be typist but I believe that character possesses the personality traits that a wild, spontaneous, nice, imaginative, intuitive, heart thinker would have. atleast I'm an enfp and that's the type I'm looking for, just someone to treat me right and live in a fantasy land with me. and not saying all enfps are like that and other types are not, but those traits are of higher priority than an intelligent hardworking sensual dominant type, though I value those traits a lot, just not as much. no type being better than an other all have interesting yet different valuable perspectives, but again that type is just what I and people similar to me prefer


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## Paradox1987 (Oct 9, 2010)

The real answer is an healthy mixture of wild and outgoing, with a core of quiet intellect. I tend to find myself allured mostly by introverts, but I can't handle too much one-on-one exposure. So I like women who have a relatively stable social network of friends amongst whom they feel comfortable, and willing to let their hair down and just live in the moment. However, I don't like pure hedonistic thrill seeking. A love of quiet time and a love of pursuing knowledge for the sake of knowledge is something that I find incredibly sexy in a woman. 

I really seek someone who enjoys life, but equally doesn't romanticise it. At the moment, my gf ticks all those boxes; she's pretty damned fantastic all things considered .


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## All in Twilight (Oct 12, 2012)

Since I had to confine myself to those 4, I voted high powered CEO type. CEO types are not all workaholics, in for the money only and so on. Besides, I like a strong woman who knows what she wants. And I am sure she is well read and socially skilled otherwise she wouldn't have reached the top in the first place.


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## au contraire (May 5, 2012)

I'm most attracted to assertive, intelligent, sensitive women. They need to have an introspective side, so CEO wouldn't work. Sweet-feminine type sounds too weak, I don't want a doormat. There is some attraction to wild, totally out there type, but it isn't a very strong attraction. Quiet and intellectual sounds the best of the four, but hopefully they are somewhat assertive too. But I won't be too picky at this stage of the game, lol.


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## Hal Jordan Prime (Dec 13, 2012)

au contraire said:


> I'm most attracted to assertive, intelligent, sensitive women. They need to have an introspective side, so CEO wouldn't work. Sweet-feminine type sounds too weak, I don't want a doormat. There is some attraction to wild, totally out there type, but it isn't a very strong attraction. Quiet and intellectual sounds the best of the four, but hopefully they are somewhat assertive too. But I won't be too picky at this stage of the game, lol.


Sounds like you desire an ENTJ such as I.

What I find funny about this poll is most NF males look for an NT by the voting. Yet if you go to the NT boards, you'll see NT females look for NT males. 

:dry:


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## au contraire (May 5, 2012)

puer_aeternus said:


> Sounds like you desire an ENTJ such as I.
> 
> What I find funny about this poll is most NF males look for an NT by the voting. Yet if you go to the NT boards, you'll see NT females look for NT males.
> 
> :dry:


No I don't think me and an ENTJ would go over well, I was going to add that I strongly prefer NFs. NFs can be strong and assertive. I knew one once and we became very close friends but she was taken. Then she took her life. :sad:

I have only known one ENTJ and while she was smart and strong and assertive and had many attractive and fun/funny qualities, well she wasn't quiet, and she did not comprehend me at all. And she preferred NT males.


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## Hal Jordan Prime (Dec 13, 2012)

au contraire said:


> No I don't think me and an ENTJ would go over well, I was going to add that I strongly prefer NFs. NFs can be strong and assertive. I knew one once and we became very close friends but she was taken. Then she took her life. :sad:
> 
> I have only known one ENTJ and while she was smart and strong and assertive and had many attractive and fun/funny qualities, well she wasn't quiet, and she did not comprehend me at all. And she preferred NT males.


Sorry to hear that. 

I guess my dreams of grabbing an NT female are kinda slim... most girls I've gone out with are probably SPs and NFs though. Don't think I've ever dated an NT female. If so, an ENTP would be the closest


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## anapuna (Mar 12, 2010)

sexy sounds nice but the biggest sex organ is the brain. she has got to know how to work the cranium. part bookish, part EQ, part IQ, part geek, part imaginitive, part je ne sais quoi... all nerdy girl.


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## Azn Hippie (Dec 31, 2012)

A girl who understands me.


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## Runvardh (May 17, 2011)

An intelligent accomplice and instigator; with the understanding of work and play, and the wisdom to pick the appropriate for the moment.

... or at least that would be a good start.


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## Alhazred (Oct 20, 2010)

I was looking for a dreamy young woman, capable of deep and strong feelings, vulnerable, non-materialistic, deep and contrary to superficiality. Sweet. Humanistic. Somewhat intellectual rather than practical. With university degree.

I've found exactly what i was looking for, even more than that.


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## IThinkTooMuch (Mar 26, 2011)

Edit: Holy hell, sorry if this is too long. Didn't expect it to happen. Biggest problem of developing my thinking side so much i suppose.

I feel glad that i finally get to answer this question, as it comes to mind often enough. Always been single, and my refusal to settle and my introvertedness is 't helping any :laughing:. I'll go full detail. First off, she has to have looks. Not a specific kind of look either, just has to be cute, personality will do the rest. Has to be a healthy weight; a little bit of fat to round things off A LITTLE BIT is good. Don't care much for seeing their skeleton, or them not being able to see their toes, keep it in the middle. Height, preferably not taller than me. I'm partial to (natural) redheads and blondes (long hair), but it depends. When it comes to looks, everything has to work together, which is why i don't have a specific type. When i look at people (as potential dates), it's either a yes or a no. She has to have pretty eyes, ideally blue, but again, it really depends. The kind of eyes that when you look into them you just go "woah, that's beautiful". As long as everything else on the face works together, it's good. Next, personality. Personality has to work with the looks as well. Like i said, i'm picky. The wrong personality can kill the package all together, no matter how good she looks, no settling. I want a girl who can bring out the best in me, and for the right people, it's literally as easy as just being there. I want a girl who's outgoing enough to bring me out of my shell, but not someone who feels the need to get everybody's attention, i really am attracted to balance in a person. Someone who is bubbly, but still just a little bit grounded, enough that she doesn't live in the clouds. Someone who is spontaneous, but not dumb about it. Silly and stupid can be fun, but know where to draw the line. She needs to enjoy deep conversations, or doing absolutely nothing and just sitting together when we do run out of things to talk about. I don't believe silence is awkward when you're with the right person. On that note though, assuming she has passed the other tests, i like a girl who likes to talk (assuming her voice works as part of "the package"). If she has made it through the hell that is my pickiness and we are going out, i will gladly sit and listen to her talk, because it means i get to spend time with her. Another reason for this is because the more she talks, the more cues i have, as someone who doesn't always have much to say, to talk about as well. It's a win win. Interests are semi important at best. We should probably have a common genre of music that we both like. I'm open minded about most everything else. I'm more focused on the person than on what the person does, because what they do should compliment who they are, and i will probably enjoy what they enjoy too for the most part. I'm a simple person to please, but it takes the right kind of person. I don't want them to have to feel like they're working for me to like them, and if i really like them, i will bend over backwards to please them because their happiness will make me happy. It's a very delicate balance that, if found, will be the greatest thing ever. 
Oh yeah, if she's faking to take advantage of me and i find out, imma be pissed and will not be a pleasant person for her to be around anymore

TLDR; i'm real picky, but long term, it's for the better


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## au contraire (May 5, 2012)

What I *really* am looking for is just someone who is easy on the eyes, feisty but not mean, and likes birds and plants and bugs and canoing and being outside. A partner in exploration of the natural world.


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## LadyoftheHouse (Sep 28, 2012)

So all of you like the _quiet,_ intellectual types? 




.....:dry:.....



Well, there goes my dreams of being friends with an NF. 

Going to go jump off a cliff now--I'll be back later today so I can finish watching BBC's series "The Hollow Crown" while writing my novel which, now that I think of it, reminds me that I need to do more research on the arts of swordfighting, archery, and the various military ranks that would have existed in medieval times. Oh, and I need to make a mental note that I have to finish my Japanese flash-cards because, let's face it, just knowing English and French along with various bits of Spanish and German just isn't going to cut it in today's market. I guess I'm going to have finish my laundry tomorrow...Oh well! 


Whoops! Sorry about that! I swear if I don't write stuff down then I forget it almost instantly. Well, anyway, good luck to all of you finding a nice quiet chick. Hope that works out for you! roud:



*This comment was done in good taste. I'm not actually bugged about what you guys are writing.  *


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## All in Twilight (Oct 12, 2012)

LadyoftheHouse said:


> So all of you like the _quiet,_ intellectual types?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



They all want to date an INFP because they are approximately 40% more mystical than the ENFP. It's like basically experiencing an enya song. And they can shape shift...The last INFP I saw here changed into a pile a fog and went all whhoosh...whhoosh 

True story, just ask around.


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## IThinkTooMuch (Mar 26, 2011)

LadyoftheHouse said:


> So all of you like the _quiet,_ intellectual types?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


If i had to pick definitively, i would take someone outgoing over someone quiet, only because they would be able to get more of a response out of me i think.


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## au contraire (May 5, 2012)

I think I made it clear I don't favor passivity & docility, which some (by no means all) quiet types might exhibit. I have a hard time deciding whether my best match ever was an INFP or ENFP, and I didn't know about either when I knew her. She was not a yapper, but she was more outgoing and not afraid to speak her mind, which most INFPs are a bit more timid about. If she was ENFP, I want to meet a lot more. 

But given the choices, by not choosing quiet I would be choosing "always yapping"; by not choosing intellectual I would be choosing "not intellectual". Thats why I came back an mentioned my actual preferences for specific shared interests, which didn't really fit in the given choices.


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## geekofalltrades (Feb 8, 2012)

I'd like a combination of the second two choices... although I voted the second choice, because intellectual is more important to me than feminine. Ideally, I'd like a chatty, effervescent intellectual who can still enjoy companionable silence from time to time.


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## brutalstrudel (Sep 30, 2012)

LadyoftheHouse said:


> So all of you like the _quiet,_ intellectual types?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I'm an INFP guy and I know an ENFP girl that I adore, and is the most interesting girl I've ever had the honor to meet. Never met an ENTJ before but I don't get along with J's especially in a relationship, they always try to take some form of control and I just want to be free. ENFP would be my choice for sure.


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## thor odinson (May 21, 2011)

Now this is my kinda thread.

I'd say a cross between 2 and 3.



 Quiet, intellectual girl
 A sweet, very feminine type-not a diva!

I'd like her to be intellectual in the sense she'd like to discuss philosophy, science, culture, anthropology, psychology, society etc Things in the abstract sense

But at the same time an empathetic girl. I certainly don't want an overly emotional girl, but at the same time I would like a girl who opens up that part of herself to me.

I don't want it to be like I'm on the clock, like she has a limited tolerance for feeler traits because by nature she is bluntly cold and inaccessible, and doing this would feel unnatural or draining to her.


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## RetroVortex (Aug 14, 2012)

...can...can I have all of those please... XD


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## dreampolice (Sep 7, 2010)

I answered 'quiet, intellectual type' but it could very well have been the 'sweet' choice. It's easier if I were to nameby type, I would say I'm attracted to INFP's, ENFP's, and ENTP's. 

Few years ago I wrote down the qualities in a girl that draws me to her. I'll list them here in no particular order. 

_
Strong emotional connection with me
She is very attracted to me
She likes to experiment and try new things
She is adventurous
Complementary sense of humor
Spunky and playful
She sees through my bull shit
She is warm and open hearted
She is generous and kind
She takes good care of herself
She is very open-minded
She is easy for me to talk to
She is quite comfortable telling me anything 
She trusts me
She is incredibly feminine
She is aware of my feelings, fears and desires and is not afraid to talk about hers
She is very sensual
She has a good sex drive
She holds up her end of the conversation
_


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## Iustinus (Jun 13, 2012)

I'm actually asexual, but I'd like to contribute a story. One of my female friends, an INTP, asked me if I had ever liked a girl. 

"Not really," I said. "As a friend, yeah, but romantically, no. I feel if I dated someone, I'd be lying to her because I couldn't offer that attachment she wants."

"Maybe that's not always true," she responded.

That's when I felt a sense of admiration for her. Not sexual attraction, but respect and appreciation for her existence. I think she was satisfied by that. I suppose that's the type I'm searching for.


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## Darkestblue (Apr 19, 2010)

Can I have quiet, intellectual, sweet and feminine all together?

I chose "sweet and feminine" over "quiet and intellectual". I'm not solely attracted to quiet women, and I don't feel I'm as attracted to intellectuals as my peers are. As for sweetness, it's probably the #1 thing I go for, and I like women who are more feminine in a sense that they enjoy being a woman and live it up. I prefer a woman in a dress to a woman in jeans.roud:


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## Evasive8991 (Jan 15, 2013)

I've noticed ESFJ's listen more, and are attentive. Which is good, but, at least in my case, they dont say a whole lot. So conversation becomes stagnant. Sharing silence is always nice. I like for an ideal mate to confide in me whenever she wants. I like a girl who is considerate, strong and patient, as I know how hard it is to get along with me . In the union for the long haul, so to speak. Committed but still has her own life, as I do like my privacy as well. A classic give and take relationship. I like to think I'm easy going and passionate, as well as strong and insightful enough that, if I were to find someone whom can embrace these qualities, would further strengthen my appreciation and love for them. I love deeply, I know that...Most girls that have taken an interest in me dont seem too love as deeply. With regards to a look, she has to be cute or pretty in her own way, her own physical uniqueness will make that attraction..Its hard to explain exactly what I look for, but, heres a general idea.


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