# What is Introverted Sensing Sexuality like?



## William I am (May 20, 2011)

Yep, it's an awesome feeling. Working with my hands on machinery, sports, or tai chi can get me there. But it's really not easy to do for me. 

And uh yeah. Unkempt is my middle name. I clean up very nicely, and I enjoy looking nice, but much of the time, I don't really care. 
I also find a lack of makeup and slightly unkempt appearance (not poor hygiene) appealing.


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## Spades (Aug 31, 2011)

Conceptual. Extremely hard to be "in the moment".


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## William I am (May 20, 2011)

Spades said:


> Conceptual. Extremely hard to be "in the moment".


Here here. For me too.


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Socionics explains this as such:

Viktor Gulenko has proposed four groups of *romance styles*, also referred to as "erotic behavior" groups or "erotic attitudes." Other socionists, such as Valentina Meged and Aleksandr Bukalov, have also written on how type influences behavior in intimate relationships, but discussed typical behavior within quadras. Gulenko's approach was to find common ground between types of different quadras. Obviously, all interpretations in this area assume, or conclude, that the greatest degree of compatibility in that area is between dual pairs.
Gulenko's romance styles are defined by the irrational element in the individual's Ego functions:




Aggressor:  : SLE, LSI, SEE, ESI (ESTP, ISTP, ESFP, ISFP)
Victim:  : EIE, IEI, LIE, ILI (ENFJ, INFJ, ENTJ, INTJ)
Caregiver: : ESE, SEI, LSE, SLI (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
Infantile: : ILE, LII, EII, IEE (ENTP, INTP, ENFP, INFP)

The *Aggressor* types, identified as such by Viktor Gulenko, are the four types with  (Se) in their ego, two each in Beta and Gamma: SLE, LSI, ESI, and SEE.
Despite the differences between these types in terms of temperament, base function, and quadra values, it seems that in the area of physical attraction, desire, flirting, and the like, in intimate relationships, the irrational ego element , coupled with their expectations of  (Ni) style behavior in intimate partners, is the most visible factor in an Aggressor's behavior.


*Typical characteristics of the Aggressor romance style*



no doubts about own interest in another person
not prone to hesitation about whether or not to reveal that interest
focus is more on own interest than whether or not the other person might reciprocate
romantic interaction is more about "toughness" than "tenderness"
needs to feel some sense of "superiority" over the partner, but worthwhile only if the partner is seen as able to largely "keep up"
this takes the form of power games, which others might regard as cruel or bitchy
in the case of female Aggressors with male partners, the above tends to assume the characteristic of a woman expecting total devotion from the partner, rather than her being "bossy"
little inclination to externally admit not having been the one to end a relationship, unless if adopting a "who cares" front simultaneously

This romance style is defined by focus on  which is static, irrational, and extroverted. This means that an Aggressor sees attraction to another person as a static state, which he feels it is up to him to change in the direction more in agreement to his preference. This accounts for an Aggressor's inclination to take the initiative in approaching the object of his interest and being "relentless" in his pursuit, as well as, even during an established relationship, continuing to try to "shake things up" or "get things moving". If his partner is not receptive to such behavior, this discourages the Aggressor, and results in his interest cooling off.
*Perception of other romance styles*

This refers to perceptions of the partner in a romantic or prospective relationship.
*Aggressor*: Aggressors tend to perceive other Aggressors as exciting partners worthy of admiration and respect, but ultimately unsatisfactory due to a sense of never-ending competition for an ill-defined "upper hand", which becomes frustrating.
Victim: Aggressors tend to perceive Victims simultaneously as pleasantly able to "keep up" regarding more "intensive" interactions, and also as not annoyingly prone to always wanting "to win". Aggressor women perceive Victim men as totally devoted yet reassuringly "strong".
Caregiver: Aggressors tend to perceive Caregivers as somewhat boring and patronizing.
Infantile: Agressors tend to perceive Infantiles as too goofy and unexciting, ultimately not taking them seriously as partners.


*Victim*

(Redirected from Victim group)
The *Victim* types, identified as such by Viktor Gulenko, are the four types with  (Ni) in their ego, two each in Beta and Gamma: EIE, IEI, LIE, and ILI.
Despite the differences between these types in terms of temperament, base function, and quadra values, it seems that in the area of physical attraction, desire, and flirting, the Ego element , coupled with their expectations of  (Se) style behavior in intimate partners, is the most visible factor in a Victim's behavior.
*Typical characteristics of the Victim romance style*



prone to initial doubts about intensity of own interest in another person
not always confident about revealing that interest
inclined to focus on whether or not the other person might reciprocate the interest
inclined to question whether or not the other person's interest will remain constant with time
preference for partners that provoke in the individual a certain sense of awe in terms of power, physical presence, and the like
appreciation for the sense of power-play present when interacting with such partners, with acceptance of a slight sense of superiority on the part of the partner, without ever actually "submitting" to them
this takes the form of the individual somewhat expecting the partner to be "mean" on occasion
in the case of Victim males with female partners, this latter trait assumes a characteristic analogous to a "knight devoted to his princess"
inclination to openly admit to a relationship having been ended by the partner rather than by the individual himself

This romance style is defined by focus on  which is dynamic, irrational, and introverted, with perceptions of inner imagery away from the present physical reality. This means that a Victim sees attraction between two individuals as a dynamic state, which he feels is completely natural. This accounts for a Victim's inclination to focus on the mutual attraction, or particularly the attraction felt by the other person, as to its longer-term perspectives and implications, as well as a certain expectation that the partner will continuously take action to confirm the attraction. Failure on the partner to do so results on the individual assuming that it's already changing. The individual counts on the partner to forcefully bring the individual "down to earth from his thoughts " and focus on the immediate physical reality, continuously.
*Perception of other romance styles*

This refers to perceptions of the partner in a romantic or prospective relationship.
Aggressor: Victims tend to perceive Aggressors as pleasantly reassuring of their interest and prone to take the inititive in that area. They find Aggressor's sexual confidence attractive and reflecting positively on themselves.
*Victim*: Victims tend to perceive other Victims as puzzling and inconstant, as if they were playing games or "push-pull" behavior, but also as exciting partners if a stage of "certainty" is reached.
Caregiver: Victims tend to perceive Caregivers as comfortable and up to a point reassuring partners, but also somewhat boring, leading to a sense of stagnation. The Caregiver's inclination to treat them as somewhat helpless is perceived as slightly insulting.
Infantile: Victims tend to perceive Infantiles as too goofy and expecting a kind of attention that the Victims find demanding; Victim women are prone to see Infantile men as irritating.


*Caregiver*

(Redirected from Caregiver group)
The *Caregiver* types, identified as such by Viktor Gulenko, are the four types with  (Si) in their ego, two each in Alpha and Delta: ESE, SEI, LSE, and SLI.
Despite the differences between these types in terms of temperament, base function, and quadra values, it seems that in the area of physical attraction, desire, and flirting, the ego element  is the most visible factor in determining Caregivers' behavior.


*Typical characteristics of the Caregiver romance style*



attraction is naturally sparked by the perceived aesthetic attributes of the prospective partner, but cooled off if such attributes are accompanied by a perception of "too aggressive" sexuality
inclination towards tenderness, "soft" rather than "hard" approach
prone to adopt maternal approach to the physical comfort and needs of partner
interest is further maintained if partner welcomes this approach
prone to assume that partner will need help in practical, daily matters
neutral as to who ended a relationship, "power" is not seen as important in such matters

This romance style is defined by focus on  which is dynamic, irrational, and introverted, with perceptions of the present reality and physical sensations rather than inner imagery. This means that a Caregiver sees attraction between two individuals as a dynamic state, which he feels is completely natural, as he also sees the physical comfort and well-being of another person as dynamic. This accounts for a Caregiver's inclination to focus on the mutual attraction, or particularly the attraction felt by the other person, as connected to that person's physical well-being. The individual's own dynamic and introverted  perceptions lead to a sense of sleepy drifting in them, which makes him welcome  impulses from another person designed to shake him out of it from time to time.
*Perception of other romance styles*

This refers to perceptions of the partner in a romantic or prospective relationship.

Aggressor: Caregivers tend to perceive Aggressors as a bit over-the-top in their approach to romantic interactions and sexuality and ultimately not pleasant to have stable intimate relationships with.
Victim: Caregivers tend to perceive Victims as puzzling and never contented, sometimes as paranoid and insecure.
*Caregiver*: Caregivers tend to perceive other Caregivers as comfortable partners, but ultimately somehow less than satisfactory.
Infantile: Caregivers tend to perceive Infantiles as delightful partners with a sense of fun that brings joy to their lives.


*Infantile*

(Redirected from Infantile group)
The *Infantile* types, identified as such by Viktor Gulenko, are the four types with  (Ne) in their ego, two each in Alpha and Delta: ILE, LII, IEE, and EII.
Despite the differences between these types in terms of temperament, base function, and quadra values, it seems that in the area of physical attraction, desire, and flirting, the ego element , coupled with their expectations of  style behavior in intimate partners, is the most visible factor in determining "infantile'" behavior.


*Typical characteristics of the Infantile romance style*



interest is sparked in partner with positive aesthetic attributes divorced from active, "aggressive" sexuality
tend to try to attract partner's interest with joking, goofy or even "strange" behavior
try to help partner see the unexpected and fun side of things
interest is maintained or cools off according to partner's response to this behavior
appreciation for partner who actively cares about the individual's comfort and daily needs
neutral with regard to externally admitting who took the initiative in ending a relationship, "power" is seen as unimportant in such matters

This romance style is defined by focus on  which is static, irrational, and extroverted, with perceptions focused on possibilities and alternatives to the static present reality, which the individual perceives as intrinsically boring and stagnant. This means that an Infantile sees attraction between two individuals as a static state, also from the point of view of the other person, which he tries to "get moving" by actively thinking of variations of the present static state. This accounts for an Infantile's inclination to focus on the mutual attraction, or particularly the attraction felt by the other person, as connected to that person's being exposed to the unexpected, imaginative, fun, even "weird" side of life, reality, and each other, a behavior that can be described as "childlike". This focus leads to a sort of helplessness regarding his own physical well being as perceived by , so he welcomes help from others in that area.
*Perception of other romance styles*

This refers to perceptions of the partner in a romantic or prospective relationship.

Aggressor: Infantiles tend to perceive Aggressors as a bit too "rough" and even slightly scary on occasion, or perhaps just as obnoxious
Victim: Infantiles tend to perceive Victims as paranoid and confusing, giving mixed signals.
Caregiver: Infantiles tend to perceive Caregivers as comforting and pleasant company, with a delightful sense of fun.
*Infantile*: Infantiles tend to perceive other Infantiles as fun to spend time with but also as helpless and demanding in a way that they see as stressful.


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## MrsAndrewJacoby (Apr 11, 2013)

I read this thread a while back, but didn't quite know how to answer. But after thinking about it for a bit, I'll attempt an explanation. Of course, this is just my 2 cents and it's coming from an ISFJ female, so...

Um, I think some of the others gave good explanations: cuddling, more mental than outward, etc. @_marsec_ especially made a good point with the 'double dipping' example. I would also say Si sexuality is subtle, yet intense. We see the world from within ourselves, if that makes any sense. I am VERY in tune with my body's stimuli and sensations, so of course I tend to feel any sexual stimuli intensely as well. I think since my tertiary function is Ti, I tend to categorize things. I see the nuances in little things. Like the difference between a quick, "Hey baby" kiss to a more lingering "I love you" kiss to a deep passionate "I want you now" kiss. (Talking about this is a bit embarrassing. :blushed I think I can best sum it up by comparing it to dancing. Se is more overt and blatant like the lambada. Si is still sensual, but less overtly so like the tango or even a waltz. Also like @_PolystyreneMan_ stated, if it felt good do it again. Like listening to your favorite song. You already know how this song goes and you love every part of it, but that intense anticipation of the best part of the song and then the actual experiencing of it again is hard to put into words.


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## drummaster350 (Feb 27, 2013)

MrsAndrewJacoby said:


> I read this thread a while back, but didn't quite know how to answer. But after thinking about it for a bit, I'll attempt an explanation. Of course, this is just my 2 cents and it's coming from an ISFJ female, so...
> 
> Um, I think some of the others gave good explanations: cuddling, more mental than outward, etc. @_marsec_ especially made a good point with the 'double dipping' example. I would also say Si sexuality is subtle, yet intense. We see the world from within ourselves, if that makes any sense. I am VERY in tune with my body's stimuli and sensations, so of course I tend to feel any sexual stimuli intensely as well. I think since my tertiary function is Ti, I tend to categorize things. I see the nuances in little things. Like the difference between a quick, "Hey baby" kiss to a more lingering "I love you" kiss to a deep passionate "I want you now" kiss. (Talking about this is a bit embarrassing. :blushed I think I can best sum it up by comparing it to dancing. Se is more overt and blatant like the lambada. Si is still sensual, but less overtly so like the tango or even a waltz. Also like @_PolystyreneMan_ stated, if it felt good do it again. Like listening to your favorite song. You already know how this song goes and you love every part of it, but that intense anticipation of the best part of the song and then the actual experiencing of it again is hard to put into words.


Thank you :happy:. That was a very beautiful description that answered the question very well. The dancing comparison was very apt.


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## Pau7 (Jun 20, 2013)

PolystyreneMan said:


> What I mean is that in Si the thoughts that occur to you about taking an action to produce a sensation will have something to do with a sensation you experienced in the past. You might think to do something that isn't necessarily repeating what you did before, but it would have to be informed by it.
> 
> Making an analogy to cooking, you may have tasted an orange, and you may have tasted cardamom, and noticed a similarity, and had you tasted oranges with chocolate and liked it, you might decide that cardamom with chocolate might be good as well, and decide to try it. But if you had never tasted cardamom, it just wouldn't occur to you to try it with chocolate, in fact you're first thought would be that chocolate is good, and you don't want to risk ruining it with some spice you've never tasted.
> 
> Si is going to let you have a pretty clear idea of what sensation a slightly different action will produce based on the sensation the original action produced in the past, and allow you to make an informed decision on whether or not you want to try it. It gives you confidence making in small, incremental changes; but if you rely on it as your primary function, large changes and completely unfamiliar things tend to make you uneasy. You want to know you'll have a good outcome before you want to try something.


I think this is the best description of Si from an Si user I've read.

It sounds so different from the way I usually sense things, wow. My dad's an ISTJ, so this helped me understand the way he works a little better.


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## Donovan (Nov 3, 2009)

Volant said:


> We're quiet lovers who are, more often than not, intense cuddlers...


oh my god, that is the cutest damn thing i've read all day!

hahahaha... thank you.


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## Ice_Queen (Oct 10, 2013)

This is an interesting question, but I cannot recall a sexual experience that would involve my tertiary Si function. So far, I just find that it functions to help me remember paths I've already taken, literally and figuratively; plus whatever personal reactions I've had towards something at times. I think it's all Fe involved for me.


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

My perspective on Si sexuality as a Se-dom married to a Si-dom, is that it's drawn to more cuddly and meaningful experiences. Se-dom is more drawn to more playful and wild. 

In the comparison to dances, I would disagree simply because Se-dom crave variety. If we have it our way, it's going to be a different dance every time. Gotta keep our partners guessing.


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## HKitty (Oct 11, 2013)

I have to say, monemi is pretty right on.

Just to add: From my experience Se-types often like to add an element of pain (sometimes even torture) into their sexual encounters. I have yet to meet an Si-type that does this. Especially not Si-doms - they seem very concerned about what the other person is feeling as well, so they try to maximize pleasure for both parties involved. Hee hee... That's been my experience anyway.


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## I Kant (Jan 19, 2013)

Introverted sensing sexuality?

It is like the 5th of April after the horse drinks tea with excessive contemplation.


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

HKitty said:


> I have to say, monemi is pretty right on.
> 
> Just to add: From my experience Se-types often like to add an element of pain (sometimes even torture) into their sexual encounters. I have yet to meet an Si-type that does this. Especially not Si-doms - they seem very concerned about what the other person is feeling as well, so they try to maximize pleasure for both parties involved. Hee hee... That's been my experience anyway.


I only bite or shove etc... my partner if he doesn't mind it.


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

So introverted sensors: gentle lovers. Hmm.

Well, it makes sense, but now I'll have to become a sadist to play against my type. :tongue:


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