# so... i got punched in the face



## imaybefalling (Dec 19, 2011)

im 23 years old 6'4 about 185lbs and ive never been in a fight before. ive always had a way of using my words to get me out of any apparent danger. my luck has recently run out.

i posted something on my facebook this past weekend with some thing that went like "its so funny to me when you hold a mirror up infront of someone and later hear them commenting on you" or something like that and a buddy of mine replied by asking me if he could try and talk to some girl that i had a thing with before n who we were discussing last week. 

right after that i recieved a few messages from two.different girls asking me aboit who this other girl was and what the whole story was. so i go baxk to my buddies post and tell him he can.do whatever the heck he wanted and if i actually had feeling about a chick i wouldnt tell him anyways. he replied back telling me that i should.go see a doctor and telling me how ive not been myself lately. this dude has been classed with some like seasonal bipolar disorder n a handful of other things so i proceeded to tell him what a nuiscance he is and how i was sick and tired of giving him money and feeding his fat ass.

needless to say he became very upset and drove over to my house. i saw him park on the street so i walked out the side door and waited to see what he was going to. ive never been scared about the other person in the fight but what i might end up doing just because ive bottled my emotions since birth. but anyways he parks on the street and left his car running. while he was walking up the driveway i asked him do you really wanna fight me over face book are you really gonna do this. as he approached he replied to me and said no man i dont wanna fight you and right as the last word left his mouth he threw a punch at me i moved his arm a little bit as it came in and he hit me in the mouth rather than the eye. i grabbed his arm right after he hit me grabbed his the back of his head and had him at about waist level. kneeing him in the face crossed my mind but it wasnt a can of worms i was trying to open he continued to swing his arms trying.to hit me but he wasnt.going anywhere i start screaming at him telling to calm the [email protected]** down before i really [email protected]#&ed him up. he didnt calm down.

i look over at his car when i still have him down because the dome light pops on. a dark figure gets out the car and begins approaching us. my mind began racing like even if he didnt have a knife or a gun or something my mind was telling me he did. i paniced threw that fat bastard to the ground a ran inside.

i cant help replaying this over and over in my mind. i feel like i failed my manhood in some way. and now every time i think.of this person the.most horrible things happen to him in my mind. i dont know what to do. its making me so angry i dont know what to do my hands are shaking quite violently right now just talking about it. im just rattled and dont know how to begin handling this


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## Amenophis (Apr 18, 2010)

*Fight or Flight*

Safety and defense are a need you have as a conscious being. Many people in a civilized society forget this need and neglect to tend to the aspects of themselves that would secure their own safety and security. People pass their safety on to the whole of society. But there are times when society's saftey net fails. These times are when you must rely upon yourself to ensure your safety.

You are not less of a man for this. You learned something about yourself. You learned that when pitted in an instance where you must rely on yourself for defense, you don't know what you're doing.

I've been in dozens of fights. I've had guns and knives drawn on me. I've been in bar fights where people smash bottles and use them as weapons, just like in movies. I've had a pool cue swung at me. I've been hit with a bar stool. And I've witnessed far more than this. 

I can tell you with sincerity that sometimes you need to fight, and sometimes you need to run. When multiple people gang up on you, you're not going to Kung-Fu them like in the movies. You will get hurt badly. It takes intense mental and physical training to engage multiple people in a fight. Most police officers aren't even capable of it.

You are not wrong for running back inside.

But let this be a lesson to you. Learn how to defend yourself. Learn how to fight. Learn how to run.


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## imaybefalling (Dec 19, 2011)

thankyou for the.post. you are completely right. getting some sort of training would probably be the.only way to get this oit of my head. not that i really know how to.go about doing that but ill do some research.


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## WindowLicker (Aug 3, 2010)

Yeah I don't like bipolar people, especially when they are also sociopathic. Its a rage disorder, but knowing that- what made you decide to add fuel to the fire? First, you didn't set a boundary with your friend about giving him money and feeding him, and you called him a fat ass and brought that up from something entirely different. By you feeding him/giving him money the first time and him not paying you back that would've been a signal to stop, and bringing it up at a good time in a good way would've made it clear that fatty needs to recriprocate and buy you a fuckin salad or something!!! Take some responsibility. He only asked your permission to date the girl, and you got defensive and told him to do whatever the heck (really?) he wants. Then he said you're acting different, so he obviously didn't want to tell you "Look man, you're getting defensive. I just wanna bang ur ex crush. She's hot. Thats all." But I think you felt he was insulting you so you insulted him back. 

I'm guessing he knew you were home, and when you went outside you knew why he was there. He left his car running and was marching up angrily to you so you could tell he was pumped and wasn't sticking around long to have a heart to heart talk. It is hard to concentrate under those circumstances, when being attacked, the fighting situation was handled fine and yeah that guy probably didn't roll up to your house with out a plan B so a weapon is likely, so that was almost activated when he was getting his ass kicked. 
But you did ok, obviously you defended yourself after he deceived you. 
You need to realize maybe you're pissed he's trying to take all your shit and you don't know how to say no. Maybe he is fucking with your vulnerability, then it backfired on him and he got mad. IDK theres sooo many ways you could look at it, complex-simple, but thats how I see it... 
Anyway the first week is hyper-focused. Then you'll get over it.


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## imaybefalling (Dec 19, 2011)

window you know what youre talking about. i might as well of asked him to come over and fight me. this all took place when i got home from the bar after having four jack-gingers and some x-mas ales. 

im the kind of person that if i have something in this case money (not that im rich by any means) i like to spread it around especially to friends that need it. but like you said he was tryong to take advantage of it. and i let him then tried to use it against him..i think some of his bipolarness rubbed off on me..haa

but youre.completely right the whole thing is something i need to really need to go over and take reaponsibility for.
and try not to repeat.

and what you said about him trying to take all my shit i didnt realize it at the time but thats probably what made me spill out all of the shit i talked about him. him becoming so deffensive about it obviously meant it was true. in all honesty im.glad i got to let it all out. it was worth the fat lip.

and i really couldnt care less what he does with the chick i was just pissed that he did it "publicly" rather than a simple message. i was trying to make head room for the.chicks that messaged me asking who he was talking about.

thanks again for your post. very helpful


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## birthday (Feb 6, 2011)

@WindowLicker
Come now, don't generalize. Not all bipolar folk are aggressive. 

@imaybefalling
Any time you have a gut feeling about anything follow it. It may end up saving your life in the end. I don't think this situation makes you anything less than a man. What's better in your opinion? A wounded ego or finding yourself six feet under?


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## Up and Away (Mar 5, 2011)

@imaybefalling

considering your lack of training, you did well

Next time when ur asking me "do you really want to do this?" have your hands up like you are being defensive, but also that puts you in good position to block a sucker punch.

Now i mean, he hit you when you didnt want to fight, and he lied about it. So that is a sucker punch by the textbook. Take it as a good lesson about what sucker punches really are. Shitty on their part, but something you can be prepared for in the future.

Now, consider how different if it would have been if you KNEW you were going to actually get into a fight. Do you see how the initial momentum and attitude might have been different had you a day or two to prepare?

Let me just say that there are only 2 ways to fight

A) Viscious
B) Trained

All other ways fail. I'm guessing you don't value you being vicious in a stupid facebook fight, or any fight for that matter, so you can't judge yourself for being vicious, or you'd likely regret it afterwards.

Now for the next category: trained. You arent Trained, so you cant judge yourself by the standards of being trained.

The only other thing to be worried about is because you got scared. There are two factors I see at play here.

1) Lack of training and aggression due to being off guard and not prepared
2) Fear of bodily damage.

I think it is perfectly valid to not want to risk bodily damage over a stupid facebook fight. Some people might disagree, but that is reckless, and, this is my final point:

If you want to test yourself in the wilderness as a right of passage, and you want to risk your body doing it, then put that risk in your hands rather than your opponents. Make the risk whether you are going to hurt him too much, or perhaps your risk if you hit too hard or at the wrong angle, rather than risk losing the fight and have him be some crazy idiot that keeps hitting you unconscious.

Its just silly for someone that values intelligence to get hit in the head.

Here is a simple combo to practice that works 9 times out of 10.

Get in a fighting stance. Look it up. Then push off your back leg while doing two things simultaneously. Throw a job and move your forward foot far forward and to the side of your opponent. The jab doesnt have to connect, it can be a fake. Now pull yourself foward with your front foot, lower your head and body while striking one of two spots. Your rear leg should come up when you strike so that you are in position for another strike after that, but if you cant get that part dont worry about it, this 1 2 should finish them. One area you can practice punching is the solar plexus. But thats just in case you are too worried about hurting them to hit them in the bladder. The second spot is the bladder above the groin. Hit yourself there to see what i mean. It hurts. thast why its illegal to hit in organized fights.

Now form a C with your thumb and pointer finger, and make your hand very rigie. Hit yourself under neath your adams apple, and get a feel for how that hurts. No matter how big someone is, there is no muscle there.

Now, this is very important. You actually have to practice these in order to get your muscles to be able to snap and generate power. Don't lock the elbow is one pointer ill give. There are many more, but these will be enough.

Oh, after you land the right, then grab his head like you did in the fight (awesome by the way), and knee him in the head, bladder, or solar plexus.

If you dont want to strike him, next time just instead of grabbing his head, grab his hair or eye socket, flip him around so hes at your waste level but faceing up at you awkwardly, and grab his throat and tell him you will hurt him if he moves. 

*shrugs. practice makes perfect, and when u have confidence in yourself, you wont feel like you need to test yourself to see if you could win in a fight, it just becomes less relevant. Like for example, say you go up in front of a class for public speaking. You start nervous, but then you get them to laugh. Now you just got validation which gives you confidence, and you confidently do the rest of your speech. Well training and skills can do the same for confidence that validation from experience does.

And the main thing about going low for the second punch in that vital area, is there hands are never there, they arent ready for it, and they definitely arent ready to hit you. You just make sure you get that foward foot far in front when you throw that jab and you make it real quick like a 1-2 while you spring forward. 

Worst case scenerio, just viciously attack, grab his head and hair, grab his throat, or even an ear. Trust me, no one wants to have an ear ripped off.

Oh, good call in trusting your instinct about the second guy. You made a decision to leave, rather than freezing in the moment and just standing there uncertain. Its all about intent. Fight, or Flee. You werent indecisive and that is good.


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## Up and Away (Mar 5, 2011)

And a facebook argument is what you should take responsibility for, not anything more than that. Hes the one that made it violent. And if that girl is okay with this guy going to fight one of her ex's, then shes not worth fightin over in my honest opinion.


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## WindowLicker (Aug 3, 2010)

birthday said:


> @WindowLicker
> Come now, don't generalize. Not all bipolar folk are aggressive.


Sorry, but you misinterpreted. All I said is I don't like bipolar, especially when the person who has bipolar is sociopathic, and that it is a rage disorder. Please do not misunderstand me.


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## Sovereign (Aug 19, 2011)

Te tells me that your little emotional problem with this is not nearly as important as your survival. 

Passive-aggressive behavior is not the way to stay out of fights. In fact, it's probably the worst way to stay out of fights. That IS, of course, the best way to defend yourself: stay out of fights. You know the old adage, 'The closer you are to danger, the further you are from harm' ? Yeah, it's bull.

In the event that I am in a fight though, I'm not without (normally) superior firepower. Luckily, I live in the southern U.S. where I can OPEN carry my .45 if I so choose. You'd be surprised how few people pick fights with a man carrying a large-frame handgun out on his belt for God and everyone else to see. lol

Seriously, if nothing else, get some oleoresin capsicum spray ("bear mace") or a stun baton. Either of those will likely meet your needs.


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## Cortega (Jan 25, 2012)

You acted correctly - you did not know what the other man was carrying, and what he was carrying, may indeed have been a potentially lethal weapon.

You feel you failed some sort of man test? Compared to who? Action movie heroes?


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## BioGhost (Jan 6, 2011)

Psh, pussy. I woulda fucked him up good. 

Kidding, kidding. I think you were right to go inside, you didn't know what the guy was carrying.

However, if you do want to train in case you get in a fight, I would recommend finding something made to be a street fighting system. Avoid traditional martial arts and ring fighting styles for the most effective results.


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## WolfStar (Aug 18, 2009)

You didn't fail your manhood. You are actually more of a man for being so in control of yourself in a situation where many lose their cool. Your choice to not get violent is very commendable. Relax, you're a good person.


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## Dark Romantic (Dec 27, 2011)

Well, I would have kneed the guy in the head at least (if someone's already attacking you, the best course of action is usually to fight back, provided they aren't carrying a weapon), but you were right to leave before the second guy showed up. Even if he didn't have a weapon, there's a pretty good chance he was going to jump in, and you should avoid fights where you're outnumbered whenever possible. Now, it's definitely not smart to provoke anyone into fighting, but once they've actually started swinging, you've got to defend yourself.

So, lessons learned; for now, carry a weapon (bear mace is best, in my opinion, if your intention is to flee the scene afterward. Depending on where you live, guns work pretty well for intimidation, but if you actually use it, you can end up complicating things a lot further for yourself), and in your spare time, do some training. Look for a school nearby that teaches a style that's useful for self-defense on the street, since not every style is going to be as good for that purpose.


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## Apertureconspirator (May 15, 2010)

I wouldn't look to deep into your own reactions, no matter how much your mind is telling you to do so. Fighting is terribly taxing emotionally. People shake and quite often people cry. That's all perfectly normal. It doesn't matter who you are, if a fight sneaks up on you, you will be shaken.


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## Babieca (Jul 31, 2011)

You were smart. The situation could have gotten worse. It could have been an unfair fight and you could have ended up with a huge hospital bill or possibly problems with the law. You arent injured too badly, you arent in county. You win.


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## Up and Away (Mar 5, 2011)

Being that this is the advice center and not just a random chit chat or jokes subforum.

This post is a month old, we should probably just let the issue chill now, even though there seems to be some great advice.


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## prplchknz (Nov 30, 2010)

Souled In said:


> Being that this is the advice center and not just a random chit chat or jokes subforum.
> 
> This post is a month old, we should probably just let the issue chill now, even though there seems to be some great advice.


oh good so i can post this. 










because i don't have any advice but everytime i read the title i want to post that.


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