# Need some opinions on cutting



## School (Apr 29, 2014)

Warning; this is about cutting. That should be obvious from the title, but I'll put the text in a spoiler anyway.


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About five days ago I made a cut on my thigh. I didn't bother getting stitches for it. Instead I wrapped it up in some sanitary pads and duct tape. 

I'm not sure why, but I decided to measure the cut today. 14cm long and 3cm wide. A few years ago I would've thought it was a big cut. Now, parts of me thinks it's decent and part of me thinks it's ridiculously small. I know that I could've gotten stitches for it, so I try telling myself that it can't be "ridiculously small", but then I start feeling absolutely pathetic and stupid: _Oh, so you think that's a 'big' cut, do you? It's nothing! You're just being stupid, you know the cut will heal just fine, stop being such a baby! Come on, just ignore the smell and ignore the pain._ 

*I think that what I need right now is to hear the opinions of someone who aren't cutters. Someone with, maybe, a more realistic view of what's bad and what's okay. Both about the size of the cut and cutting in general. *Someone outside of my head, so that it won't make me feel like I'm being a pathetic baby if the cut is actually decent, or someone outside of my head so that I will know that I am just overreacting and that it is just a small
cut.

So please tell me your opinion. I'm used to people being very harsh when talking about cutting, that's okay.




I'm sorry if this isn't okay to ask about.


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## Harker (Sep 18, 2016)

Jeez, I know nothing about this, but I guess you have some serious issues. I hope you get the help you need to stop. That is a huge cut.


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## VoxPopuli (Aug 21, 2016)

Cutting is bad no matter what the size. That is an incredibly large cut as well. I don't even understand how a cut could be 3cm wide and not completely immobilize the leg, something must be wrong with your definition. Most cutters are barely making more than scratches, maybe a few cm long and a millimeter wide. Again, how could a cut even be 3cm wide? That would mean fatty tissue and muscle were plainly visible. If you actually did this you need to be immediately involuntarily admitted to a mental institution.


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## School (Apr 29, 2014)

VoxPopuli said:


> Cutting is bad no matter what the size. That is an incredibly large cut as well. I don't even understand how a cut could be 3cm wide and not completely immobilize the leg, something must be wrong with your definition. Most cutters are barely making more than scratches, maybe a few cm long and a millimeter wide. Again, how could a cut even be 3cm wide? That would mean fatty tissue and muscle were plainly visible. If you actually did this you need to be immediately involuntarily admitted to a mental institution.


It's down to the bottom of the fat layer, it doesn't go into the muscle. Where I live, only people who suffer from a serious disorder such as schizophrenia, or people who are suicidal, ever gets admitted. 

I really appreciate your replies - it's exactly what I need to read right now. I have these constant thoughts that it's not a serious issue, it's not a big cut, I'm just being silly, I should just ignore it or even cut more. I want to combat those thoughts and it helps a great deal to see what other people think about cutting.


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## Korra (Feb 28, 2015)

I remember you from a few months ago, so I'm not that fazed nor will I diverge into harsh wordings. I suppose I'm more curious of your thought process here; why you place emphasis on the size of the cut and why it bothers you more than the actual act of cutting. 
I've never cut myself intentionally (I had a bad experience with scissors once as a kid; quietly freaked out and grabbed toilet paper to stop the bleeding of my hand), but I imagine, from what I hear, it's an outlet to relieve stress. However, though, I have a vague understanding that you operate in a different way? As in, it's not really stress relief that you seek, but to see some inner beauty(?) of what lies beneath the skin? 
Still... I have to agree that it's not conventional nor healthy to do such things, but I suppose you already know this anyway. I don't know, you're quite the curious case that I think is above anyone's pay grade here; however, maybe the silver lining is that at least you reach out in some way to others.


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## Glenda Gnome Starr (May 12, 2011)

Smell and pain might indicate infection. You should probably get medical attention for that. The cut sounds as if it is enormous. Have you had therapy for the cutting? There has to be a way to relieve stress and anxiety that doesn't cause you to risk serious infection.
I wish you the best and hope that you can find help.


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## School (Apr 29, 2014)

Korra said:


> I remember you from a few months ago, so I'm not that fazed nor will I diverge into harsh wordings. I suppose I'm more curious of your thought process here; why you place emphasis on the size of the cut and why it bothers you more than the actual act of cutting.
> I've never cut myself intentionally (I had a bad experience with scissors once as a kid; quietly freaked out and grabbed toilet paper to stop the bleeding of my hand), but I imagine, from what I hear, it's an outlet to relieve stress. However, though, I have a vague understanding that you operate in a different way? As in, it's not really stress relief that you seek, but to see some inner beauty(?) of what lies beneath the skin?
> Still... I have to agree that it's not conventional nor healthy to do such things, but I suppose you already know this anyway. I don't know, you're quite the curious case that I think is above anyone's pay grade here; however, maybe the silver lining is that at least you reach out in some way to others.


There is a quite simple reason, but I don't know how to explain it better than to say this: the actual act of cutting is mostly the same each time, while the size of the cuts aren't. I think that's why it gets more of my attention. 



Garden Gnome said:


> Smell and pain might indicate infection. You should probably get medical attention for that. The cut sounds as if it is enormous. Have you had therapy for the cutting? There has to be a way to relieve stress and anxiety that doesn't cause you to risk serious infection.
> I wish you the best and hope that you can find help.


It's not infected, luckily. I've been to therapy for even longer than I have been cutting; I started therapy about 8 years ago, and I started cutting a little less than 7 years ago. However I quit therapy a while ago, because, as you can imagine, I didn't feel it was helpful enough.


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## Mange (Jan 9, 2011)

Wow 3 cm wide? That's pretty bad. My worst experience with a wound was about 10 cm long and maybe 1.5 wide on my upper forearm. I didn't go to the hospital either but did work to keep it clean. I would 100% suggest you go to a doctor, tell them you fell on some broken glass or fell out of a tree. They'll clean it, stitch you up and probably prescribe you some antibiotics.


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## Candy Apple (Sep 10, 2015)

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School said:


> A few years ago I would've thought it was a big cut. Now, parts of me thinks it's decent and part of me thinks it's ridiculously small. I know that I could've gotten stitches for it, so I try telling myself that it can't be "ridiculously small", but then I start feeling absolutely pathetic and stupid: _Oh, so you think that's a 'big' cut, do you? It's nothing! You're just being stupid, you know the cut will heal just fine, stop being such a baby! Come on, just ignore the smell and ignore the pain._


You are able to push aside whatever it takes to cut yourself and I assume you know with what reason you do it... along with that you feel the cut will heal just fine as your previous experiences but if you really want to know this:



> *I think that what I need right now is to hear the opinions of someone who aren't cutters. Someone with, maybe, a more realistic view of what's bad and what's okay. Both about the size of the cut and cutting in general.* Someone outside of my head, so that it won't make me feel like I'm being a pathetic baby if the cut is actually decent, or someone outside of my head so that I will know that I am just overreacting and that it is just a small cut.


Here's my response:
It is bad to cut yourself. I dare say it's "bad" even when you are cut but not willingly. To put things into perspective I get no pleasure, no reward, nothing good out of a paper cut. It's small, it stings, it's horrible, it's the opposite of anything soothing and it's unnecessary in my mind. 

When you're not cutting yourself it's okay. No matter what's happening in your life, that's a step up (in a good way) from the destructive action of cutting.

I do not know why you do it as there are many reasons why one could do it but I know this - it's not okay.

Being a "pathetic baby" has nothing to do with cuts or cutting, size or otherwise.

I don't even know if there is such a thing as a "pathetic baby". I get that you're using it as an expression but with all that I am, I cannot believe that _anyone_ is a pathetic baby - no matter what they do or think.



> So please tell me your opinion. I'm used to people being very harsh when talking about cutting, that's okay.


Even though you are used to people being harsh towards cutting, I hope you're uplifted by someone who's gentle.


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## School (Apr 29, 2014)

November Has Come said:


> Wow 3 cm wide? That's pretty bad. My worst experience with a wound was about 10 cm long and maybe 1.5 wide on my upper forearm. I didn't go to the hospital either but did work to keep it clean. I would 100% suggest you go to a doctor, tell them you fell on some broken glass or fell out of a tree. They'll clean it, stitch you up and probably prescribe you some antibiotics.


I usually just tell them the truth. After they stitch me up they tend to recommend that I see a therapist, but that's as far as they can go, because I'm not considered a danger to myself or others. 
I don't think there's much they could do at this point, that I can't do on my own. They won't stitch it because it's too old, I can keep it clean on my own, and I don't need nor want antibiotics. 
It's good that you provide direct advice on what I could do, I like that.


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## Maybe (Sep 10, 2016)

School said:


> Warning; this is about cutting. That should be obvious from the title, but I'll put the text in a spoiler anyway.
> 
> 
> * *
> ...


Well first I'm going to tell you you're stupid.

_You're Stupid.

_Now, it's ok to be stupid as long as you learn from being stupid. Right?

I think of cutting like taking street drugs. It might be fine to take a small dose of drugs, but if you take the wrong drugs or take too much at one time you ARE going to harm yourself. I'm not saying that it's okay to make small cuts, I'm just trying to make a comparison.

If it smells, go see a doc asap.

It would help if we knew the reason you're cutting, if any.

But without knowing why, all I can suggest to you is that you watch this video and perhaps pther videos on her channel:





My skype is on the left if you want 1on1 conversation, I'm not going to ridicule you for cutting, I would just like to get to the root of the problem.

_Then again what do I know? I'm only 17. _


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## School (Apr 29, 2014)

SheriffLaw said:


> I think of cutting like taking street drugs. It might be fine to take a small dose of drugs, but if you take the wrong drugs or take too much at one time you ARE going to harm yourself. I'm not saying that it's okay to make small cuts, I'm just trying to make a comparison.


Interesting comparison. I would never do street drugs. Mostly because they are illegal, obviously, and I have no interest in such experiences, but also because they are too dangerous. Then again, the thing that scares me the most about street drugs is that they could very well hurt the brain. Cutting is less likely to do so, at least not to the same extent (except if you die). 

I made this thread with this in mind; I didn't want it to be necessary to explain _why_ I'm cutting. Most people have an opinion about it anyway. Same with the size of the cut, it wasn't exactly necessary to explain where it came from, but I provided some explanation so that the thread would make sense. (It would seem very odd to ask about it without giving some information about why I'm asking). 

About the video. I try to do that with other thoughts, it works very well. So far I've had no luck with the thoughts mentioned in this thread, but I'll keep trying. It's basically what I'm doing by making this thread, I'm asking for things to replace the negative thoughts with.


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## Maybe (Sep 10, 2016)

School said:


> Interesting comparison. I would never do street drugs. Mostly because they are illegal, obviously, and I have no interest in such experiences, but also because they are too dangerous. Then again, the thing that scares me the most about street drugs is that they could very well hurt the brain. Cutting is less likely to do so, at least not to the same extent (except if you die).


 I was trying to say that by cutting yourself you could be setting yourself up for permanent physical damage.




> I made this thread with this in mind; I didn't want it to be necessary to explain _why I'm cutting. Most people have an opinion about it anyway. Same with the size of the cut, it wasn't exactly necessary to explain where it came from, but I provided some explanation so that the thread would make sense. (It would seem very odd to ask about it without giving some information about why I'm asking).
> 
> About the video. I try to do that with other thoughts, it works very well. So far I've had no luck with the thoughts mentioned in this thread, but I'll keep trying. It's basically what I'm doing by making this thread, I'm asking for things to replace the negative thoughts with._


 While it it not necessary to us to understand, it is very necessary to you that you understand why, so that you can move on.

What I'm going to suggest is that you should think on what has meaning in you life. Just remember that people do care about you and want to help, no matter how much you think they don't.

wow. I suck at giving advice.


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## Dead Silent (Oct 19, 2015)

Taking your body for granted, I see. Well, without a reason as to why you're cutting, there really isn't any advice anybody could possibly give you that you probably haven't already heard a million times over.

I don't know. If it smells weird, get medical help. It's probably infected.

You should stop, it's stupid, causes physical disfigurement which could, in the future, be the cause of low-self esteem. You might wind up being ashamed of your body and feel guilty about your history of self harming.

Also, the potential for an accidental suicide, especially if you're stupid enough to cut an artery...

And, that sounds like a massive cut. How did you manage that? 

But to answer that bolded section of yours. Voluntarily cutting yourself is never okay, the relief is short term and temporary. It doesn't solve anything and never will.


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## Kynx (Feb 6, 2012)

Yes it's a bad cut. I would be concerned about a cut that size.


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## Felipe (Feb 25, 2016)

School said:


> I'm sorry if this isn't okay to ask about.


There are kids starving in africa and you're cutting your leg? Stop that, go do some selfless deeds.


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## Harker (Sep 18, 2016)

Felipe said:


> There are kids starving in africa and you're cutting your leg? Stop that, go do some selfless deeds.


Tell us your selfless deeds? Kids in Africa has no relevance and doesn't help. It would be better to say you don't understand than be ignorant about someone's problem.


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## Felipe (Feb 25, 2016)

Harker said:


> Tell us your selfless deeds? Kids in Africa has no relevance and doesn't help. It would be better to say you don't understand than be ignorant about someone's problem.


I don't have selfless deeds. I do understand, I think since you never starved you don't feel empathy for them, but since you probably already cut yourself that's why you emphathise with this person specifically.


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## School (Apr 29, 2014)

Felipe said:


> I don't have selfless deeds. I do understand, I think you're too much of an emo brat, since you never starved you don't feel empathy for them, but since you probably already cut yourself that's why you emphathise with this person specifically.


Please do not troll here, and even more important; do not attack users on this thread. Thank you and goodbye.


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## Felipe (Feb 25, 2016)

School said:


> Please do not troll here, and even more important; do not attack users on this thread. Thank you and goodbye.


I'm not trolling, I really think that doing selfless deeds can heal your pain over time. But I won't post again here if it's what you want, good bye.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

School said:


> I think you've misunderstood the nature of what I'm asking. I don't really want to be told "how to stop cutting", because I've heard it before from various people and I'm already trying to stop. What I want in this thread, this one particular thread, is just a little help to stay in touch with the reality of the situation, i.e. this one particular cut, not necessarily even cutting in general.


I would like to say something to *you*

Because even tho I think that guy had no place honestly digging at me quite in that form because he did not agree with me. I think he was right about one thing. Which is that I was not very kind to you. I did make it too general and matter of a fact (which that tone cannot be delivered properly here, I actually think had this been a verbal face to face conversation I would have come off less abrasive then stating this in the form of just text format). Anyways I think I did trivialize you as a human by generalizing this too much and making it way too matter of a fact. That was not very nice of me. I do not expect you to forgive me for that but I do want you to know I am sorry for my specific delivery. (Not so much my opinion on the subject). My conscience is effected for how callious I projected this at you specifically as a human being. (That said as far as the side comment no I still in no way think he needed to make his own assumption and dig personal regardless of whether I agree with the issue or my general asshole delivery). Anyways I am not asking you to forgive me. But I sincerely want you to know I feel bad for how very likely came across while generalizing the subject.


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## School (Apr 29, 2014)

Sensational said:


> I would like to say something to *you*
> 
> Because even tho I think that guy had no place honestly digging at me quite in that form because he did not agree with me. I think he was right about one thing. Which is that I was not very kind to you. I did make it too general and matter of a fact (which that tone cannot be delivered properly here, I actually think had this been a verbal face to face conversation I would have come off less abrasive then stating this in the form of just text format). Anyways I think I did trivialize you as a human by generalizing this too much and making it way too matter of a fact. That was not very nice of me. I do not expect you to forgive me for that but I do want you to know I am sorry for my specific delivery. (Not so much my opinion on the subject). My conscience is effected for how callious I projected this at you specifically as a human being. (That said as far as the side comment no I still in no way think he needed to make his own assumption and dig personal regardless of whether I agree with the issue or my general asshole delivery). Anyways I am not asking you to forgive me. But I sincerely want you to know I feel bad for how very likely came across while generalizing the subject.


I appreciate that you apologize, it does make a difference. 
I agree that the tone you used doesn't work in text format, but would've been better in a verbal conversation. I do think you have a lot of misconceptions about cutting, but that's not relevant now. Now that you've apologized, I think it's time to put this behind us.


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## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

@School

All other discussions aside, please do go to a doctor and get your leg checked. That's the reality that you need to focus on right now.


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## School (Apr 29, 2014)

Popinjay said:


> All other discussions aside, please do go to a doctor and get your leg checked. That's the reality that you need to focus on right now.


I don't have a doctor in this town, and at this point there's nothing a doctor could do about it (that I can't do on my own). It's not infected, and it's healing pretty well, so it will be fine.


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## School (Apr 29, 2014)

No. It doesn't matter. Whenever I'm happy, it ends up with someone leaving me. I get excited and share my thoughts, and that alienates people and then I'm alone again. 

My personality clashes with everyone. I'm boring and repetitive, and I obsess over things that people would rather not think about. I see good in the wrong people. It's a wonder I haven't been banned from PerC yet, because I keep getting banned from all other forums. Then again, I got really close once. I try to avoid it, but it's like my personality just doesn't fit in with other humans. 

Why do I keep trying? Why do I let myself be hurt over and over again? I learned as a child that I shouldn't share my thoughts, but I still did. I kept getting disappointed over and over again, but I couldn't stop. It's like screaming into nothing. There's no point in doing it, after a while it hurts, but nobody will listen anyway. 

If I disappeared, it would be better for everyone around me. But I'm not _that_ kind. I'll only go as far as cutting myself.


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## nichya (Jul 12, 2014)

Get your stitches D: D: you could get an infection and I am not sure if it would heal just fine without the stitches, probably not. Doesn't it bleed every time you move?


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## septic tank (Jul 21, 2013)

That cut is way too big to be safe.

You're downplaying the size of the cuts so you can use that as an excuse to keep cutting. You believe, "The cut isn't too bad, I can keep cutting in the future" or "I want to make a bigger one" when they're too big to be safe. You're denying that it's unsafe so you can keep cutting.

Stop lying to yourself and stop cutting.


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