# Sigh, SPs... so intriguing to me yet so far out of reach...



## thegirlcandance (Jul 29, 2009)

I just have to go out on a limb and say that you SPs are intriguing to me.. you always seem to be. You guys just have this charm and desire for adventure and fun that I don't have that I simply find so attractive.

I think its because on some level... deep down... ever since I was little I've had a desire to be that way myself, but its simply not a natural personality trait for me. Others have to push me and guide me into that philosophy of living.

I've actually dated or have been in the "seeing each other" stage with each of the SP types except ISTP (but I think my brother is that type... can't be for sure though because its too ADD to sit down and take the assessment).

The ESFP and ESTP... a lot of fun to be around. Seemed to have a group of friends and way of living that I wish I could do but am incapable of. The ESFP was super sweet to a point that I'd just melt over it.
It was like that with my ISFP as well that I dated for 4 months straight... just super sweet. It was so difficult to get him to look beyond his ideal values though... which I felt was ultimately the frustration of the relationship. Plus, it just got emotionally screwed up.

The ESFP and ESTP both seem to go after these dominant Fe types that are always all about fun and party as well after I'm a part of the past.
My ISFP ex seems to now be dating one thats all about fun and adventure but perfectly follows his ideals as well.
Though I have seen all of them get serious from time to time, I have yet to see what get really serious and look to marriage or anything (but I guess you can't expect that from a 20 year old SP??).

All the while I get dumped out of the picture and not thought of again twice. I always feel like having an SP is an idea that's so far out of reach because they are honestly the fun-est periods of my life but I can't seem to hold on to one. :frustrating:

Just simply wanted to point out how great I think you guys are... even though you always seem so far out of my reach.. because all the ones I've met don't seem to want a quiet, philosophical, committed, loyal, sensitive, and need for closure INFJ.:dry:


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## MissFixit (Dec 8, 2009)

My advice to you is simple, but will fix the problem if you're looking for an SP and want one you can eventually marry.

Date older men. NOT NOT NOT men in their 20's.

problem solved.


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## thegirlcandance (Jul 29, 2009)

MissFixit said:


> My advice to you is simple, but will fix the problem if you're looking for an SP and want one you can eventually marry.
> 
> Date older men. NOT NOT NOT men in their 20's.
> 
> problem solved.


Tis true...... because it seems that when they're in their 20s they just end up hurting me.


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## MissFixit (Dec 8, 2009)

young men generally suck. What am i saying? all people kinda suck, but young men are really not as mature as the women their age, and especially SPs. Well..
Once they get past 30 they grow a brain. At least that's my perspective.


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## thegirlcandance (Jul 29, 2009)

Haha... thanks. That's refreshing. :wink: :crazy:


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## MissFixit (Dec 8, 2009)

oh yeah, and hopefully they have more money, too. Never hurts. (there are websites for this sort of dating, if you're serious. not that I know anything about that....)

:laughing: Happy hunting.


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## Parade of Sparrows (Mar 16, 2010)

> I want to fall in love with a nice quiet innocent girl who wants to stay in and spend time together. I just wish I could be a more quiet person and lead a more humble life. I think that if I were to have kids things would change. I've been thinking so much about having a daughter lately its been very embarrassing to even talk about.
> 
> I have this strong need to take care of people... my friends, my family, my girlfriends.... It makes me happy. a lot of the money I make goes towards my family and loved ones. And of course my friends love the drugs...
> 
> ...


Taken straight out of one of my blogs by me.

Kthanksbye

and 

I'minlovewith NF women


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## Capsicum (Mar 17, 2010)

Yeah, I'm a little annoyed with the whole "men in their 20s are so immature" thing.

And why are SPs seen as being more immature than the other types? Maturity comes from life experience, not from typology.


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## MissFixit (Dec 8, 2009)

Capsicum said:


> Yeah, I'm a little annoyed with the whole "men in their 20s are so immature" thing.
> 
> And why are SPs seen as being more immature than the other types? Maturity comes from life experience, not from typology.


it's a generality that *generally* holds true. I have way too many friends who were single until their 30's for this very reason, and once they started dating older men they found the right one.
Not saying that ALL men in their 20's are immature of course. Just that they *tend* to be less mature. Seems like elementary logic to me.

Even me and a lot of the women I know who married in their 20's can tell you our husbands had some serious growing up to do. not ALL of them, of course, but too many for this to be a stupid stereotype.

Congratulations for not being one of them!  

And also based on my own experiences and observations, I would say that extroverted SP males in their 20's are usually the ones hitting the beer bong at parties, not settling down for baby-making at the ripe age of 24. Again, doesn't cover every man, but it's a "trend", ok?

I should have just added at the bottom of my post "This does not hold true for everybody. I will come up with some statistical analysis based on every woman I know, if it would help." :laughing:


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## Indigo Aria (Jan 12, 2010)

MissFixit said:


> And also based on my own experiences and observations, I would say that extroverted SP males in their 20's are usually the ones hitting the beer bong at parties, not settling down for baby-making at the ripe age of 24. Again, doesn't cover every man, but it's a "trend", ok?


Also I think many ISP's, regardless of gender, NEVER enter the baby making phase. I personally don't ever plan on having kids, but I'd like to think I'm much more mature than your stereotypical college beer bong partier.

I don't like that I'm not as far as some in my life, but one year of college won't get me a stable career with a geological firm, and I don't have the financial ability to move into my own home at this point.


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## Indigo Aria (Jan 12, 2010)

Capsicum said:


> And why are SPs seen as being more immature than the other types? Maturity comes from life experience, not from typology.


I think a lot of this is jealousy or just incompatible views from other types. I can't speak for ESP's but ISP's seem to have a vision of what is most important in life, and for the vast majority of us, it isn't work. For example, an ISFJ or ENTJ is going to most likely focus mainly on the work in their life, and view us as immature for not putting an equal amount of effort into our work. However, I, and probably many other ISP's, view it as foolish and immature to blindly work so hard, and not focus on the things that make you happy in life.

And I think much of the modern world views trying to be happy as an immature thing to do. Apparently we're all supposed to make babies and work until we die. just a thought.


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## ENTrePenuer (Jun 12, 2010)

As usual fascinated with the worst thing possible for you.


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## U-80 (Mar 12, 2010)

TheLuckyOne said:


> And I think much of the modern world views trying to be happy as an immature thing to do. Apparently we're all supposed to make babies and work until we die. just a thought.


The ESTPs I know are like that, but for them it's the thrill of competition (though who they're competing with, I don't know... other ESTPs, I guess!) The other SPs are definitely not into hard work for the sake of uncertain rewards. Many of them will hold down steady jobs if they can find a way to make the job work for them, like if it's doing something that they'd be doing anyway, or if the job gives them more freedom, not less. 

If "mature" is synonymous with babies, debt and forced labor, then let's hear it for immaturity. May we stay immature all our lives! Growing up is clearly overrated. I'm 37 and I never grew up... nothing forced me to. I escaped it.


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## Indigo Aria (Jan 12, 2010)

rousse said:


> If "mature" is synonymous with babies, debt and forced labor, then let's hear it for immaturity. May we stay immature all our lives! Growing up is clearly overrated. I'm 37 and I never grew up... nothing forced me to. I escaped it.


I'll drink to that


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## RyRyMini (Apr 12, 2010)

Blindly working hard and raising babies till death sounds like a nightmare.


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## Wolf78 (Jan 13, 2010)

rousse said:


> The ESTPs I know are like that, but for them it's the thrill of competition (though who they're competing with, I don't know... other ESTPs, I guess!) The other SPs are definitely not into hard work for the sake of uncertain rewards. Many of them will hold down steady jobs if they can find a way to make the job work for them, like if it's doing something that they'd be doing anyway, or if the job gives them more freedom, not less.


For me competition and success in my job was just "the way" to keep my calmness. After ten years of struggle I'm the boss so I can take it easy. Now I get enough money and have spare time to enjoy my life.


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## Fat Bozo (May 24, 2009)

MissFixit said:


> i
> And also based on my own experiences and observations, I would say that extroverted SP males in their 20's are usually the ones hitting the beer bong at parties, not settling down for baby-making at the ripe age of 24. Again, doesn't cover every man, but it's a "trend", ok?
> 
> I should have just added at the bottom of my post "This does not hold true for everybody. I will come up with some statistical analysis based on every woman I know, if it would help." :laughing:


LOL. I was "baby-making" at 21. And I've never "hit a beer bong." I'm not sure that I have ever "settled down" though. :wink:

But anyway, come on down, babe.


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## letsmosey (Jul 21, 2010)

thegirlcandance said:


> I always feel like having an SP is an idea that's so far out of reach because they are honestly the fun-est periods of my life but I can't seem to hold on to one. :frustrating:


I find that SP's resist being 'held on to'. If they think they are being tied down they will take off. They are spontaneous and adventurous, and live completely in the moment. They refuse to dwell in the past and aren't much interested in planning for the future. I think we SPs are the most likely to never grow up completely. Anyone who wants to be with an SP had better be prepared to deal with that. Try going out on an adventure with an SP sometime and they'll love you for it.
How does that old adage go? "If you love something, let it go..." This describes a relationship with an SP pretty well, I think. 
If you want a relationship full of surprises, SPs are the way to go! But at any age they are likely to retain the classic SP traits. 
Some people see the SP's tendency to avoid commitments or planning or doing things completely spur of the moment as 'flaky' or 'immature' (my mother certainly does). That's just the way we are. I don't think it's immature to want to enjoy every minute of life. Those other guys are just jealous they don't have the SP zest!


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## AEIOU (Feb 5, 2010)

TheLuckyOne said:


> And I think much of the modern world views trying to be happy as an immature thing to do. Apparently we're all supposed to make babies and work until we die. just a thought.


Nice comment.

N.B. Just to be consistent with your view of me; if my reply upsets you then it's your problem and not mine. Ha!


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## HappiLie (Jun 1, 2010)

thegirlcandance said:


> I just have to go out on a limb and say that you SPs are intriguing to me.. you always seem to be. You guys just have this charm and desire for adventure and fun that I don't have that I simply find so attractive.
> 
> I think its because on some level... deep down... ever since I was little I've had a desire to be that way myself, but its simply not a natural personality trait for me. Others have to push me and guide me into that philosophy of living.
> 
> ...


Golly you nailed it on the spot mah dear! :mellow:
I swear I think I have an SP fetish. You guys are just too much fun. It's effing addicting. I love ya'lls novelty and unexpectedness. 
And I usually end up having the most unusual, almost cinematic connections with the SP's I get to talk to. 
*I LOVE YOUR MINDS.*

But whenever I get romantically involved with them, they pull back and the game of love levels up in difficulty. They're so hard to keep tabs on, it's almost impossible :dry: But hey, the game's fun :wink: 
Keeps me wired in for sure. Usually I'm the one that's everywhere, and it switches things up a little. I like it. Hehe. Keeps me on my toes.
It can get tiring to keep up with, but you are a sweet and interesting bunch and usually the only types that can make me feel super giggly and nervous. Commitment's was a rough spot for the ones i've dated though :T


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