# Absolutely frank feedback on my types? :)



## Nobleheart (Jun 9, 2010)

Since you're focusing on how you were as a child at the moment, here are some good references.

Portrait of an INJ Child

Portrait of an EFJ Child

Portrait of an ENP Child

Portrait of an IFP Child


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## zallla (Oct 11, 2011)

Hmm, I don't know... INJ fits very well... Thanks for those links, @_Nobleheart_ , they were inspiring. I think I've understood INFJs incorrectly. But still, they should be rare and when I got here last October I was told I'm not one by someone here and don't know what to think to be honest


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## PlushWitch (Oct 28, 2010)

zallla said:


> Hmm, I don't know... INJ fits very well... Thanks for those links, @_Nobleheart_ , they were inspiring. I think I've understood INFJs incorrectly. But still, they should be rare and when I got here last October I was told I'm not one by someone here and don't know what to think to be honest


I don't think you should listen to what he said. He said the same about me but got eventually convinced that he must have been wrong and that he only got the impression I'm not an INFJ because I just didn't fit into his concept of an INFJ being a 6w7(sw7w8). That's all. :ninja:


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## zallla (Oct 11, 2011)

@PlushWitch, yeah I know. The whole thing is creepy anyway. Btw, he said that I am definitely not INFJ and Four and then something about me being a Four only if I were also Fe-user and so-dom or something like that... 

Well, anyway, I found this thread. Based on that, I'm _clearly_ more INFJ than ENFJ, ENFJs seem too sparkly... And I could always relate to INFJ forum... When I left there, I guess I only got frustrated and angry when people didn't seem to care about my video ^_^ What, type Six, who, _me_? :shocked::kitteh:


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## Nobleheart (Jun 9, 2010)

zallla said:


> Hmm, I don't know... INJ fits very well... Thanks for those links, @_Nobleheart_ , they were inspiring. I think I've understood INFJs incorrectly. But still, they should be rare and when I got here last October I was told I'm not one by someone here and don't know what to think to be honest


INFJs are the rarest type, but that doesn't mean we're unicorns. We're estimated between 0.5% and 2.5% of the population. I think we're closer to 1% due to INFJs being more likely to be interested in this sort of thing, and population estimates are based on test samples. 

But... let's put that into perspective.... 

1% of 7 billion people is still 70 MILLION. So, this means there are between 35 MILLION and 200 MILLION INFJs in the world. In the grand scheme of things, we're not really that rare. If you want to put it into another perspective, for every hundred people you sample, you're likely to find between 1 and 3 of us.


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## zallla (Oct 11, 2011)

The rarity is not a hindrance, and even vampires exist  I have nothing against being INFJ. Everything taken together, it starts to seem more and more accurate for me. It has the Fe and Ti I suddenly recognized and I am not Sx-dom or Sx-aux. I am not sure of many things but I know those. I used to think I'm Ne-dom but I guess I wasn't chaotic enough, Ni seems more accurate now.


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## Nobleheart (Jun 9, 2010)

Another thing to note. INFJs love to split hairs. It's that Ni + Ti loop. INFJs are constantly trying to narrow down who isn't an INFJ, and are likely to try to talk themselves out of being INFJs. It's just one of the side effect traits. Don't listen to someone else's opinion on whether or not you're an INFJ if you know you are. As an Enneagram 6, other people's opinions are going to have a strong affect on you and your Fe. Resist that temptation (and be like us 8's who can't be told a *damned* thing, heh).

Enneagram type strongly changes the flavor of an INFJ. 

*INFJ 1's: Sharper and more focused, also more upstanding, righteous, and nitpicky*
INFJ 2's: Warmer and sweeter, more outgoing, easily mistaken for ENFJs
INFJ 3's: Driven and ambitious about their vision and helping people, also competitive
*INFJ 4's: Typical INFJs, though prone to living in their Ni and dressing strange
INFJ 5's: Typical INFJs, though prone to Ni + Ti loops and over clarifying*
INFJ 6's: More people focused, anxious, and contemplative, prone to Ni + Ti loops and Fe bursts
INFJ 7's: Fun, on the go, and living their fantasies, often geeks in costumes
INFJ 8's: Focused, determined, and assertive, easily mistaken for E's or even SP's due to strong Se
*INFJ 9's: The classic dreamy eyed affable INFJs who love everyone with serene ADD*

Bold are the most common INFJ Enneagram types. Red are the least common.


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## zallla (Oct 11, 2011)

Hmmm... Perhaps. And then, I could see myself as being also ENFJ, at least at times. I don't know, nothing fits completely, probably ever will and even _should_ fit. Or then maybe I just don't know myself accurately and deeply enough to recognize my functions and their order U_U Even then, xNFJ is a lot better than being a mistyped ENFP or ENTP or something like that. When I was a depressed teenager who had lost her faith in ever finding a soul mate, I thought I was some kind of NT but I'm clearly NF. Thanks for you, @Nobleheart


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## Nobleheart (Jun 9, 2010)

zallla said:


> Hmmm... Perhaps. And then, I could see myself as being also ENFJ, at least at times. I don't know, nothing fits completely, probably ever will and even _should_ fit. Or then maybe I just don't know myself accurately and deeply enough to recognize my functions and their order U_U Even then, xNFJ is a lot better than being a mistyped ENFP or ENTP or something like that. When I was a depressed teenager who had lost her faith in ever finding a soul mate, I thought I was some kind of NT but I'm clearly NF. Thanks for you, @Nobleheart


No problem. Glad to help. Keep in mind that no one is ever going to fit any description or model 100%. The best we can do is find the model we are closest to.

There has actually been a study that put EEG's on people who had clear identification of various types, and they found a lot of correlation. In the case of ENFJs, there is a lot of activity in the areas of the brain that gauge the reactions of others and the right frontal lobe. In INFJs there is a 'zen state' which resembles the pre-sleep state in which the cingulate gyrus attempts to synchronize the cerebral cortex at a moderate level. While this might sound like a bunch of scientific jargon, the end result is that they found that the differences between these types overlapped a fair amount, especially depending on the tasks the person was doing at the time, and everyone had their own unique signatures in brain activity. In other words, the type models are fairly accurate, so long as you account for a fair amount of individual variance. 

Some people are going to fit the models very well, and others are going to fall into the areas of overlap. You and I, and many others, fall into the latter, and that's okay too. For me, I decided that I was more in the INFJ model than the ENFJ, even though I can ENFJ with the best of them for short periods and can't INFJ as well as some of them. I'm a hybrid, but I lean on the INFJ side of the fence. Only you can decide which one fits you best, and once you decide, that doesn't mean you are anything more or less than you already were. The truth of you is simply the truth of you. ;-)


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## zallla (Oct 11, 2011)

Somehow I feel either of those has to be more accurate for me if judged logically and thoroughly and I'd hate to be wrong O.O Ugh. New ideas about solving this are welcome here... I've tried to focus on the dominant and inferior function comparison but I don't know myself enough to know which one fits better.


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## zallla (Oct 11, 2011)

I just realized something... Even when I love children in general and can take them into account really well, I feel I should be more talented at getting along with them. If I were an ENFJ, shouldn't I have natural use of Fe? Shouldn't I have had it since I was young? I'm curious and fond about children, they are adorable... But I prefer the very young ones, I'm awkward with older ones, don't know how to behave myself with them. I do not know how to make children laugh, I can only make them smile perhaps. 

Even when I was young, I envied my best friend, probably ExFJ, who seemed to have a talent to get along with anyone, with younger children too. I didn't have that. Sure, I got along with them if they were nice etc. but I didn't have the talent of my friend. She was great with people, I wasn't.


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## PlushWitch (Oct 28, 2010)

zallla said:


> I just realized something... Even when I love children in general and can take them into account really well, I feel I should be more talented at getting along with them. If I were an ENFJ, shouldn't I have natural use of Fe? Shouldn't I have had it since I was young? I'm curious and fond about children, they are adorable... But I prefer the very young ones, I'm awkward with older ones, don't know how to behave myself with them. I do not know how to make children laugh, I can only make them smile perhaps.
> 
> Even when I was young, I envied my best friend, probably ExFJ, who seemed to have a talent to get along with anyone, with younger children too. I didn't have that. Sure, I got along with them if they were nice etc. but I didn't have the talent of my friend. She was great with people, I wasn't.


My ENFJ friend is the way you'd think an ENFJ should be like. But she's also a core 2. So a 6w7 would be different from that and more insecure about all that than an ENFJ 2... lol... I'm sorry... I'm throwing you back and forth even more than what you're doing yourself anyway. I just think that it's something to take into account. And I don't necessarily think you're an ENFJ. Just saying something. xD


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## JungyesMBTIno (Jul 22, 2011)

Type isn't about being talented or good at using your functions, necessarily. It's about your natural preferences and what works best for you. I don't see why INFJs would be worse at "getting along" via Fe than ENFJs. @zallla, also, which function is your inferior function, Se or Ti? Do you find sensation more irritating to deal with or logic more irritating to deal with?


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## zallla (Oct 11, 2011)

Ugh, I don't know I don't know... Some people seem to think I'm clearly more introverted with all the pauses I have when I speak and that confuses me. Yeah I have them, how could I speak otherwise? Am I an introvert then?

@JungyesMBTIno, good one... I can be annoyed by both, it depends on the logic - not all are the same and I get easily frustrated with too external views. But at least when it comes to learning, I'd love to learn everything by reading and theorizing. Learning by doing is much more difficult.


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## PlushWitch (Oct 28, 2010)

zallla said:


> Ugh, I don't know I don't know... Some people seem to think I'm clearly more introverted with all the pauses I have when I speak and that confuses me. Yeah I have them, how could I speak otherwise? Am I an introvert then?


Yeah, well, that is some indication for introversion. Though I do think some extraverts also make pauses... it's hard to draw a line, I guess... But I do think that dominant Fe would be brilliant at talking and talking and talking without a break. And I also think dominant Ti can do that... so there you have it...not a difference between E and I...I'm right. xD


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## zallla (Oct 11, 2011)

Heh, @PlushWitch, also I know some _Ti_-doms and they have more pauses than talk xD 

I was told that an ENFJ should be able to interact with a group of people, not just with one person at a time... But that's not my thing, I get exhausted by that. I glow when one-to-one though, at least with right kind of company. This could be related to the subtypes too though.

Somehow I still think that if I were Fe-dom, my life should have been different, it should have been easier for me to find friends and relate to others. I can do that now - if I want to - but I couldn't do it then. My social skills or social awareness were not even nearly as good as those of my best friend who was probably ExFJ. But I was so-last even then, don't know how much that contributed...


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## SilentScream (Mar 31, 2011)

So much confusion here that even I'm confused.

I think this is one of those moments where I realize that ENFJs are by far the most misunderstood of the 16 types. 

@zallla, if you want a quick suggestion regarding whether you're an ENFJ or not, my gut says that you're most likely not. I had probably suggested that you look into the possibility of being one, but if you can't relate, then you can't relate.

Living FeNi is incredibly different from any other function grouping and can be both easily seen as well as understood. The system of evaluation is very simple. Every type is able to consider these questions, but no other type is more able to predict with greater accuracy than ENFJs the answers to these questions because of the very nature of Ni as an interpretive function:

"If I do this, how will it make someone else feel?"
"What was that person feeling and why and what do I need to do to change that feeling?"
"Aha ... so that's what happened and that's what I need to say or do in order to make them more comfortable."

This works on a global scale as well. This is how we live Fe... The external world is central to an ENFJ and it doesn't matter how many connections we have ... but what matters is our role in those connections. Regardless of Enneagram type, giving is central to an ENFJ ....

I'll give you another classic example of an ENFJ I've know for 9 years now:

We met at university and had one conversation once. Became acquaintances. I had my accident ... we remained in touch on and off for 8 years. I got divorced. She immediately stepped up the intensity of the friendship. I even asked her why. And her response was ....

"When I first met you, you were nice to me. When I met you the second time, you were an asshole. I wanted to get to the person that existed beneath the bitterness."

Our friendship is constant, but it is heavily based on give and take and thats a trend amongst ENFJs ... I don't care if it sounds like a stereotype, but if you can't relate to basing your life around giving and consideration of other people's feelings, nurturing them, mentoring them, figuring out ways to make then better people and actually accomplishing it at least 85-90% of the time, you're not an ENFJ.


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## zallla (Oct 11, 2011)

Thanks, @_Jawz_ ! I missed to hear the opinion of a real ENFJ and you just gave me one. Somehow I feel I'm focusing too much on my own interests to _give_ at least 85-90 % of the time and thus to be ENFJ - if that's what it takes. But I can relate to your definition to some extent. I like considering others, I like helping them, I like mentoring them  But maybe not enough then if I cannot recognize it like you said ENFJ could. Or then I just don't know myself well enough, miss seeing what motivates me, what is the most important to me... Anyway, thanks for your comment! I'd love to hear more insightful points related to this dilemma of mine. I could be INFJ... Just can't be sure, not everyone here seems to think so  But again, what does that matter. Nothing. I'd just _hate_ to be wrong. Ugh


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## PlushWitch (Oct 28, 2010)

zallla said:


> Thanks, @_Jawz_ ! I missed to hear the opinion of a real ENFJ and you just gave me one. Somehow I feel I'm focusing too much on my own interests to _give_ at least 85-90 % of the time and thus to be ENFJ - if that's what it takes.


Hm... that's probably better suited for your other thread... but does sound like sp first...maybe?


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## zallla (Oct 11, 2011)

I think it fits well for sx/sp too  Passion and sticking with my own vision.


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