# 𝗗𝗼 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗙𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗔𝘀 𝗜𝗳 𝗬𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗔 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗜𝗻𝗱𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗱𝘂𝗮𝗹�



## Zye (Oct 10, 2019)

I've felt worthless for probably over 10 years of my life, which I consider to be a lot, being only in my early 20s. Luckily, my mindset has been a lot healthier lately, and it's been a while since I've stopped feeling like a waste of space

Still got a lot to improve (as everyone does), but I'm sincerely proud of myself for fighting for myself, if that makes sense


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## Wax Diamond (Apr 9, 2020)

Well if I let some old messages from the very bottom of my subconscious control me yes. 
That's why I work on feeding myself with new messages. 
Let's flush the crap of the past to feel in touch today with who we wanna be.


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## aurora-rosa (Apr 11, 2021)

..


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## aurora-rosa (Apr 11, 2021)

how idiot I am. I wrote in the wrong thread 😂🙈


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## Supergeek (Mar 6, 2021)

aurora-rosa said:


> how idiot I am. I wrote in the wrong thread 😂🙈


I don't see how that calls for the term "idiot"
Maybe hasty, or, some other imperfection. How could I look down on such, since I am also imperfect.


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## Eu_citzen (Jan 18, 2018)

Not in recent years. In fact, I'd say, quite the opposite.


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## moonglade (May 10, 2021)

X10E8Y65M56 said:


> (�_�)
> 
> 
> * *


I've always felt like a complete loser because I don't have a job, I live with my parents, I don't have a girlfriend, and my parents despise me. I failed school and am therefore unable to achieve. I tried many times but kept getting bad grades, so I just give up now.


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## Supergeek (Mar 6, 2021)

moonglade said:


> I've always felt like a complete loser because I don't have a job, I live with my parents, I don't have a girlfriend, and my parents despise me. I failed school and am therefore unable to achieve. I tried many times but kept getting bad grades, so I just give up now.


I first read this shortly after you first posted and have tried to think of something significant to say but I've mostly floundered.
At any rate, all I can think of is to suggest that you look at positive things about your self, no matter how small it is.
If you see some litter near a public garbage can that you pick and throw into throw into the garbage can then, that's something positive. Just be careful because litter, these days is a lot more hazard than it was in my younger days.
Accumulate a lot of little positive 
actions and you just might see a lot.
This, I admit isn't much but it's what I have, for now.
You can scroll back a bit and read about my suicide attempt. At that time I was angry about having survived but now I'm grateful to have survived.
It took years to get a sense of direction but now I finally got one and I'm glad to be alive.
How's this for a start on the positive? You have inspired me to show my "experience, strength and hope" which helps to keep me in a positive mode.


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## Ewok City (Sep 21, 2020)




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## Fennel (Jan 11, 2017)

Trying to write an answer better than, "yes, of course, because I'm depressed / lonely".

This might sound funny but I think of it in business terms - *am I marketable? No.*

The whole ideas of worth and value have been warped too much by the world of business and politics, which are, in my eyes, the same thing. Just listen to congressmen arguing about the year's allocation bill - invest in what for how much? Oh you invest so little in healthcare / education / environment, maybe you don't care about people at all! But they're all just numbers and figures and except for infrastructure, there's rarely any "solid proof" that anything is improving, or if anybody did honest-to-goodness put in the work but didn't get the results they want.

But considering all of the investment I, my family, community, country, and the totality of history and creation / evolution (depending on what you believe) have in me, I _should_ be super duper valuable. As well as all of us humans. Even if we number in the billions, everyone is unique and the product of eons of destruction and creation.

-

I believe it was Paulo Coelho who said (or maybe quoted), that he had a statement about his value in each hand. On one hand it says, _"For my sake was the world created"_. On the other hand, it says, _"I am dust and ashes."_






-

_*First Step: THE EGO*_

_I AM NOT good, I am not innocent, I am not serene. My happiness and unhappiness are both unbearable; I am full of inarticulate voices and darknesses; I wallow, all blood and tears, in this warm trough of my flesh._
_I am afraid to talk. I adorn myself with false wings; I shout, I sing and I weep to drown out the inexorable cry of my heart._
_I am not the light, I am the night; but a flame stabs through my entrails and consumes me. I am the night devoured by light._
_Imperiled, moaning and staggering in darkness, I strive to shake myself free from sleep and to stand erect for a while, for as long as I can bear._
_A small but undaunted breath within me struggles desperately to vanquish happiness, weariness, death._
_I put my body through its paces like a war horse; I keep it lean, sturdy, prepared. I harden it and I pity it. I have no other steed._
_I keep my brain wide awake, lucid, unmerciful. I unleash it to battle relentlessly so that, all light, it may devour the darkness of the flesh. I have no other workshop where I may transform darkness into light._
_I keep my heart flaming, courageous, restless. I feel in my heart all commotions and all contradictions, the joys and sorrows of life. But I struggle to subdue them to a rhythm superior to that of the mind, harsher than that of my heart - to the ascending rhythm of the Universe._
_The Cry within me is a call to arms. It shouts: "I, the Cry, am the Lord your God! I am not an asylum. I am not hope and a home. I am not the Father nor the Son nor the Holy Ghost. I am your General!_
_"You are not my slave, nor a plaything in my hands. You are not my friend, you are not my child. You are my comrade-in-arms!_
_"Hold courageously the passes which I entrusted to you; do not betray them. You are in duty bound, and you may act heroically by remaining at your own battle station._
_"Love danger. What is most difficult? That is what I want! Which road should you take? The most craggy ascent! It is the one I also take: follow me!_
_"Learn to obey. Only he who obeys a rhythm superior to his own is free._
_"Learn to command. Only he who can give commands may represent me here on earth._
_"Love responsibility. Say: It is my duty, and mine alone, to save the earth. If it is not saved, then I alone am to blame.'_
_"Love each man according to his contribution in the struggle. Do not seek friends; seek comrades-in-arms._
_"Be always restless, unsatisfied, unconforming. Whenever a habit becomes convenient, smash it! The greatest sin of all is satisfaction._
_"Where are we going? Shall we ever win? What is the purpose of all this fighting? Be silent! Soldiers never question!"_
_I stoop and listen to this war cry within me. I begin to discern the face of my Leader, to distinguish his voice, to accept harsh commands with joy and terror._
_*Yes, yes, I am NOT nothing! A vaporous phosphorescence on a damp meadow, a miserable worm that crawls and loves, that shouts and talks about wings for an hour or two until his mouth is blocked with earth. The dark powers give no other answer.*_
_*But within me a deathless Cry, superior to me, continues to shout. For whether I want to or not, I am also, without doubt, a part of the visible and the invisible Universe. We are one. The powers which labor within me, the powers which goad me on to live, the powers which goad me on to die are, without doubt, its own powers also.*_
_I am not a suspended, rootless thing in the world. I am earth of its earth and breath of its breath._
_I am not alone in my fear, nor alone in my hope, nor alone in my shouting. A tremendous host, an onrush of the Universe fears, hopes, and shouts with me._
_I am an improvised bridge, and when Someone passes over me, I crumble away behind Him. A Combatant passes through me, eats my flesh and brain to open up roads, to free himself from me at last. It is not I but He who shouts._
- Nikos Kazantzakis


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## Sinuous (Jun 18, 2021)

When I was younger, yes 
But now I just don’t care


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