# NFs: Are ISTPs emotional retards?



## Capsicum (Mar 17, 2010)

For some reason, there seem to be more NFs posting on the ISTP sub forum than ISTPs (must be the free coffee :tongue but anyway, the term "emotional retard" seems to pop up a bit, and I remember a two-liner I had with a friend recently:



> Me: I hate it when people ask "how do you feel?" I've never been able to understand that question. I don't know how I feel, I just do what I like and I feel good and that's it.
> Friend: Uh...


So yeah... do we come across as emotional retards?:sad:


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## Inspire (Apr 19, 2010)

The thing I love about Ts is your answer.... sometimes it seems more emotionally healthy and wise than feelers attitude "i cant do anything that i dont feel like doing " etc...

:happy:


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## firedell (Aug 5, 2009)

I don't think ISTP's are emotional retards, yet i'm not NF....


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

That's a harsh way of putting it...It seems hard for ISTPs to really empathize or understand why people feel certain ways or do certain things...I'm pretty sure my dad is an ISTP, and while he's not the person I'd go to for emotional support regularly, he does know how to show love although it sounds kinda learned...which doesn't make it seem less genuine since I can understand that this stuff isn't the thing for some people. There are many good things about ISTPs though...everyone has things that aren't their greatest skills...he's at least very practical which can be something good for how unrealistic I am sometimes lmao
I am fine with this because my INFJ mom is pretty much an emotional...genius xD


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Of course there are more NFs posting in your forum! And if they happen to be ENFPs, it's because we are checking out your ass. I am not sure you should really look at content of what's being said, just look at the fact we're always there. :tongue:

The way ISTPs express themselves is much different than we do. I was with an ISTP for 2 years and I realized you really have to understand how they show their care. And yeah, what Queen said. My ISTP ex just stepped up and saved me from my ENFP self right before going to court. I needed a different type of tactic than "why can't everyone hug and hold hands", damn it was impressive what he wrote out and planned for me. 

Then, I couldn't stop asking him for advice. Then he couldn't stop giving it. Then I stopped asking and he kept giving it. Then he stopped giving it and then I started asking for it again. Then he started giving it again...

Then I realized we have been broken up for 2 years and he has a girlfriend. So no more email intercourse because I'm all healthy like that. Plus, I shall give him a break before I ask him for help with my website.  ...What? Why are you looking at me like that? He WANTED me to ask him for help. :happy:

Oy, you guys are the death of me :dry: If ISTPs are emotionally retarded, I am equally as retarded. :frustrating:


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## silverlined (Jul 8, 2009)

Capsicum said:


> For some reason, there seem to be more NFs posting on the ISTP sub forum than ISTPs (must be the free coffee :tongue but anyway, the term "emotional retard" seems to pop up a bit, and I remember a two-liner I had with a friend recently:
> 
> 
> 
> So yeah... do we come across as emotional retards?:sad:


Heh. well they put it rudely.
I don't think ISTPs are emotional retards or anything like that.
I agree with *pinkrasputin, *It's just a different way of expression. As an NF, I think I can over-complicate emotions sometimes and that can be a limitation too. Sometimes I can get too wrapped up in an emotion or how I'm feeling, that I miss other stuff and make simple situations more complicated and difficult than necessary. 
Your approach of doing what you like and what feels good is quite refreshing and can be a great way to go.


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## Capsicum (Mar 17, 2010)

> The thing I love about Ts is your answer.... sometimes it seems more emotionally healthy and wise than feelers attitude "i cant do anything that i dont feel like doing " etc...


Yeah I pride myself on that. :laughing:



> The way ISTPs express themselves is much different than we do. I was with an ISTP for 2 years and I realized you really have to understand how they show their care.





> My ISTP ex just stepped up and saved me from my ENFP self right before going to court. I needed a different type of tactic than "why can't everyone hug and hold hands"


Yes, ISTPs will grab you and shake you silly until you come to your senses:tongue: a skill in which we are only beaten by ESTJs, imho.



> Your approach of doing what you like and what feels good is quite refreshing and can be a great way to go.


Then again, because of this, booze will be my downfall. :crazy:
________________________________________________________

Thanks guys for your answers, I asked because I tend to get wounded by the behaviours of others (especially F types) and wonder what the hell happened.

For instance, I have a friend (ESFJ, of all things) who'll always tell me "I love you!" and "you're awesome!" in texts and in person and yet she'll sometimes forget when we're supposed to meet, or she'll bring a friend and I'll be a third wheel the whole time.

Doesn't sound all that friendly to this ISTP... who believes friendship isn't defined by words, but by actions.


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## MrRandom88 (Apr 1, 2010)

Capsicum said:


> For some reason, there seem to be more NFs posting on the ISTP sub forum than ISTPs (must be the free coffee :tongue but anyway, the term "emotional retard" seems to pop up a bit, and I remember a two-liner I had with a friend recently:
> 
> 
> 
> So yeah... do we come across as emotional retards?:sad:


GOD I just HATE how yall can just do whatever you want and "feel good". 
It's what's making my bro so successful and keeping me from being truly happya bout life blaaaah.
Like seriously, my bro I don't think feels a damn thing at any point in life. He just scores A's on every damn engineering test, does whatever stupid thing he thinks up, and somehow ALWAYS has a smile on his face. 

There's got to be a downside to being non-emotional.


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## Rogue Eagle (Oct 14, 2009)

ISTJ's are


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## dreaming panda (Feb 17, 2010)

ISTPs are not emotional retards! Maybe some of them, but I do think a lot of NFs are emotional retards too.

And, the ISTJs I know are not emotional retards either. Not at all. It's just that NFs may have problems
understanding them (-just as they may have a problem understanding us) 
STs may express themselves in other ways than an NF. That does not mean an ST is emotionally retarded :O


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## GreenCoyote (Nov 2, 2009)

when I am around my E/ISTP friend I always notice I am more or less scarred to be emotional.
I mean, we both love laughing at stuff and being funny, talking things out and problems, but he always gives em this look, kinda seems like he is scared or curious about me.

instinct tells me to have sex with him, but I hold back and will forever hold back because he is straight.

point of this is, I think he wants emotions and connection and all of the above, but can't express it.
where i am just looking at him and pulling it right out of his psyche.
maybe this is freaking him out or is a bit confusing for him or something but for the most part we have a good friendship, even though at times he has no idea of where I am coming from.

It's a great friendship though.
lol
I just talked about all these weird points and then am like... great realtionshipp. whooo hoooo. lol

seriously though, great guy, just needs to work on that girl hopping that always gets him into trouble with the current/last girl.


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## Linnifae (Nov 13, 2009)

nevermind. deleted.


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## Linnifae (Nov 13, 2009)

blah nevermind


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## another infp (Apr 15, 2010)

Question: Are ISTPs emotional retards? 

I think of the F in ISTPs the way I think of T in myself: there's just not much of it there. 

If you were to put a calculus equation in front of me, I'd look at it, and then you, and then I'd say, "What? There is obviously something significant that you want from me that has something to do with those numbers, but I haven't a clue what it is!" 

That's how I envision an ISTP when looking at emotions.

Of course "T happens" in INFPs and "F happens" in ISTPs, and both functions are unfamiliar and uncomfortable in their respective Types and are going to require tremendous effort to sustain. The individual has to decide whether the effort is worth it.


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## Capsicum (Mar 17, 2010)

another infp said:


> If you were to put a calculus equation in front of me, I'd look at it, and then you, and then I'd say, "What? There is obviously something significant that you want from me that has something to do with those numbers, but I haven't a clue what it is!"
> 
> That's how I envision an ISTP when looking at emotions.


Yes and no. The behaviour of others can be baffling, but at the same time I've been a trouble shooter for some people having relationship problems. But at the same time, yes, it's like seeing sport on TV and thinking "I know how they play the game, it just doesn't interest me."

Fyi I was always very bad at calculus, algebra etc. Had to drop those classes.



> Of course "T happens" in INFPs and "F happens" in ISTPs, and both functions are unfamiliar and uncomfortable in their respective Types and are going to require tremendous effort to sustain. The individual has to decide whether the effort is worth it.


Lol it's usually not for me. Ti ftw! :crazy:



> when I am around my E/ISTP friend I always notice I am more or less scarred to be emotional.
> I mean, we both love laughing at stuff and being funny, talking things out and problems, but he always gives em this look, kinda seems like he is scared or curious about me.


I find ENFJs interesting overall... remember, we have the same functions, just in a different order. The stare would be curiosity, an xSTP isn't going to be scared of an xNFJ lol.

I just hope it isn't a creepy stare.


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## another infp (Apr 15, 2010)

MrRandom88 said:


> There's got to be a downside to being non-emotional.


If you think of one, let me know!


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## another infp (Apr 15, 2010)

Capsicum said:


> Yes and no. The behaviour of others can be baffling, but at the same time I've been a trouble shooter for some people having relationship problems.


Precisely. That's what I meant by both types being able to use their inferior functions, but it isn't worth it to you (in the sports analogy), so you don't mess with it. 

I got a D in calculus. I think my grade was that high because I showed up. :mellow:


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## Thorgar (Apr 3, 2010)

MrRandom88 said:


> There's got to be a downside to being non-emotional.


True, but Ts are not non-emotional. They just consider emotions less relevant to decision making and push them aside. This has significant costs as well as benefits.


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## another infp (Apr 15, 2010)

Thorgar said:


> True, but Ts are not non-emotional. They just consider emotions less relevant to decision making and push them aside. *This has significant costs *.


Such as? 

If a person is mostly unemotional, then any pain that is felt is felt like a pin-prick rather than a knife through the heart, right? So, if you have "failed" relationships, what do you care? You didn't need/want them to begin with. (Throwing out these ideas for you to bounce off of.)


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## Peter (Feb 27, 2010)

It's an interesting question. When I read it I first thought it was an NF asking the question, but then I realized that an F wouldn't use a term like "retard" to describe other people.

One thing I noticed about F's is that, even though they´re Feelers and you'd think they are more in touch with their emotions, they´re the ones that have a difficult time dealing with their emotions. T's don't seem to have much difficulties with dealing with their emotions.

Just today I was in another thread and I found out that I'm supposed to have "lack of closure". Obviously it was an NF that said that.


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