# How do NF females feel about attending to their looks?



## WintersFlame (Nov 18, 2016)

Hi NF forum searchers,

I chose this thread in particular because of the question- is the intuitive mind predisposed to seeking out only abstract experiences? 

Not to say that intuitives are all fully intuitive and therefore must seek out only the intellectual, theoretical part of life but something I've recognized is that sensors are more attracted to fashion and aesthetics then than of the intuitive counterpart. Seems to be more in their realm at least.

Sure I've come across an ISFP or the like which didn't attend to their looks so much the most being on a special occasion. However, as a person who has scored INFP on most tests, I can say as an INFP I have never done my makeup or nails or eyebrows or overdressed even for special occasions (unless it's for something like a job interview in which case the most ill do is foundation or something) However to my intuitive brothers, they find that I do attend to my looks in that I worry how I look, change constantly when deciding what to wear and take interest in clothes and hair and this makes them question if I am truly a sensor or intuitive. (Ps. Know that sensing and intuitive is more about the way you think than just whether or not you like clothes but whilst I am very open minded and do enjoy theory and the surreal the most I'll seek it out is at a visit to the bookstore or library otherwise I'm just in constant movie/tv marathon mode. I'm not hands on at all though and lack common sense. Not being under confident or modest just plain truth)

But I was thinking to myself, I'm sure there are loads of NFS out there who also care about how they look? whether it's linked to identity or if they're just plain self conscious, is it a normal thing for NF girls just as much as SF?

Or basically 2 questions: 

1. How do you attend to your looks as an NF? (Makeup, eyebrows,hair styles, etc?)
2. Do you feel guilty for doing it? Like you're going against your values?


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## crazitaco (Apr 9, 2010)

I've pretty consistently never liked doing makeup/hair/eyebrows/nails. My mom would always have to make me to wear makeup atleast for special occasions, nag me to get a new haircut, and force me to tweeze my eyebrows. I especially hate doing eyebrows cause it friggin hurts!

It seems the older I get, the less fucks I give about my appearance and what other people think of me.

I don't wear any makeup, usually not even for special occasions anymore. I trim/pick at/bite my nails constantly to keep them very short (for practical reasons), my hair is always long, I have poor sense for fashion, and I usually wait til my eyebrows get really bad before plucking. I don't think so much that it all goes against my values, just that its tedious and annoying to do these things, so I avoid it. I did used to hate it because it was all too "girly", though.


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## Falling Foxes (Oct 19, 2016)

Is this really an exclusively female question though? ;3

Ne shows it's way practically all the time and some of that is through experimenting with fashion. I admit I neglect my looks at times... Let my hair dye wash out, neglect skin care and get spots... But I love dressing up. Sometimes as a means of trying on different personas.


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## Flaming Bassoon (Feb 15, 2013)

> 1. How do you attend to your looks as an NF? (Makeup, eyebrows,hair styles, etc?)



I moderately pay attention to my looks. I wear a bit of makeup, more or less depending on what I'm wearing. I have thick ass eyebrows that I pluck about once a week. My hair grows so fast that there's no point in getting them waxed. 

I have very long hair, but I take good care of it, so all I really do in the morning is brush it. I also paint my nails once a week because I like changing colors, but I don't get manicures/pedicures because they're expensive and I get sick of a color quickly. I hate pedicures because I hate people touching my feet! Plus I always wear shoes instead of sandals unless it's really fucking hot out, and I live in Northern Wisconsin, so that doesn't happen often.



> 2. Do you feel guilty for doing it? Like you're going against your values?



Kind of. What's most annoying is that I feel compelled to remove my natural body hair -- armpits, legs, etc. It's expensive and timely and I feel that it distorts women's natural bodies, especially the really new expectation among some American dudes that women shave off all of their pubes. WUT??? They're there for a reason. Ugh.


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## mizz (Nov 30, 2016)

1. How do you attend to your looks as an NF? (Makeup, eyebrows,hair styles, etc?)
----*As far as make-up, I wear a bit of foundation/powder, mascara, and some natural blush. If I'm feeling extra wild, I'll toss on some eye shadow and lip gloss, maybe some lipstick if I'm going out. I don't have my eyebrows waxed, rarely I will pluck a stray hair. My hairstyle is straight, long locks. I dye it only to hide the silvers, lol. I don't paint my fingernails, but I will paint my toenails in the summer. I'm a 36 year old woman and my make-up/hair routine has been the same since I was a teenager.*

2. Do you feel guilty for doing it? Like you're going against your values? 
-------*The only time I feel guilty is when I have to spend money on it. I will put off dying my hair to the point where my roots are a couple of inches long, just because I dislike spending money on myself. I also greatly dislike buying make-up because it's so darn expensive. I make what I do buy last as long as possible.*


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## versace (Jul 27, 2016)

I've thought about this a lot! It seems like Sensors do their makeup more than Intuitives because they're more in tune with their surroundings so they have to accommodate themselves with what's around them.


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## LittleDreamer (Dec 11, 2016)

This is a great thread. 
I've rarely done make up in my entire life and I dont do my eyebrows because it hurts so much! Wearing make-up kinda feels wrong to me, like I am betraying myself even though I dont have anything against it. I don't have a problem with others wearing it either. I'm sure it seems self-righteous and condescending but I never mean it to be that way. As a result, Most people think that I am really confident that I don't need make up, but in reality, I am super self conscious and insecure about my face. I understand why people wear makeup to feel better about themselves and be more confident. I hope you all understand what I mean when I say that I would rather feel ugly and natural than feel pretty but for it to make me feel false. Not saying that make-up makes people fake. It's just that it _feels_ that way to _me_ personally.


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## tinyheart (Jun 17, 2016)

I want to upload my photo here only after I dress to the nines and have a friend do makeup (I HATE MAKEUP IM DOING THIS FOR YOU LOSERS ON THIS SITE )

Seriously, I would care but then I'm like nah..


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## kirsten.j (Jul 12, 2016)

I don't wear make up or do anything special with my hair, and yet I do feel that I care very much about how I look. I can't help it; I want to be satisfied with what I see in the mirror. But i still feel that I look distinctly different from sensor girls my age... I don't know why and I don't intend to, I just do. Intuitives aren't really "deeper" than sensors; we're just as likely to be worried about things that don't really matter, such as looks. The difference is, we experience the world in terms of something's abstract interpretation rather than its actual sensory qualities.

For example, I often find myself worrying about what my hair looks like because I have this abstract idea that certain kinds of hair styles go with certain kinds of identities and I need my hair to reflect just the right identity. But sometimes i miss very obvious sensory aspects of how my hair looks... 

Don't think of Intuitives as being "deeper" than sensors if you mean more mature, concerned about more important things, etc. Abstract does not mean more important or more emotionally mature... In fact it's often the opposite


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## WintersFlame (Nov 18, 2016)

@Falling Foxes

Nah. Not exclusive. Just see it being a bigger problem fr females.


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## JennyJukes (Jun 29, 2012)

WintersFlame said:


> they find that I do attend to my looks in that I worry how I look, change constantly when deciding what to wear and take interest in clothes and hair and this makes them question if I am truly a sensor or intuitive.


well this describes me really........ i don't follow fashions/trends (have no idea about them) don't wear makeup on a daily basis nor dress up often. however, i choose my clothes wisely based on how good i look in them, i use good products/methods for my hair and skin to look their best, so that i don't *NEED* to make much effort on my looks in terms of using makeup, hair altering thingys. prefer to look my best NATURALLY (ok except my eyebrows which i get waxed lol).. if that makes sense 

some people think it's obvious i'm a sensor so ya doubt it's anything to with N/S


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## succubus (Dec 5, 2012)

1. How do you attend to your looks as an NF? (Makeup, eyebrows,hair styles, etc?)

I'm high maintenance compared to most INFPs that I've come across. Then again, I think I'm pretty obsessed with grooming myself than most people, in general. 

I get my brows done every week, I get my hair cleansed, trimmed, colored, deep conditioned every 3-4 weeks, I don't have to worry too much about waxing or shaving since I've done laser. I eat clean and drink plenty of water everyday. I'm not really into it as much as me wanting to look perfect but, it's more of an obsession with trying to preserve myself so that I don't end up looking like a dried up prune with cancer by the time I'm 50. 

I don't wear make up unless it's going out for an occasion but, I always wear sunscreen no matter what.

As for clothing, I guess I do buy a lot. I'm more into accessories though like heels and handbags. Timeless pieces of jewelry are my thing too.



2. Do you feel guilty for doing it? Like you're going against your values?

Not at all. I sometimes wish it were much easier but, beauty is pain and nothing comes without labour. (Laser isn't the most pleasant...and it sucks when I'm pinched for time and my brows haven't been cleaned up...)


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## Nephilibata (Jan 21, 2015)

I honestly don't do much. It's a bit of a paradox though, because I am quite preoccupied with how I look - I just don't attend to my appearance in parallel to my preoccupation because, in a way, I feel like I don't deserve to look nice. I feel kind of fake when I dress up or try to on the days I don't feel like it matches me. It's like a masquerade. Undoubtedly it's my body image influencing me here though. Maybe I'd do more if I felt better about my body.

I'm very much into skin and haircare, 'natural beauty' I suppose. I occasionally get my eyebrows done, but I'm not one for regular, high maintenance beauty routines.

I had a bit of a stupid argument with my mother about the eyebrows once. She said something like it's important for women to look groomed, so I should go do it. It pissed me off to hear it because unless I want nice eyebrows and to look a certain way, I sure as hell am not doing it for other reasons. I guess I just feel like it's no one's business what I look like other than my own. If I choose to look grubby, I'll be grubby (well, not grubby, just not dolled up. Nothing wrong with wearing a t-shirt and pants). Sticking me in nice clothes and makeup when I'm not in the mood is just going to make me feel worse because it just isn't me.


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## sometimes (Dec 26, 2013)

I don't see how attending to one's appearance would go against being an intuitive. That's like saying that liking and making aesthetic art goes against being an intuitive. It doesn't at all. There is an Intuitive relation to aesthetics of course being the main reason Also we all use both Intuition and Sensing functions anyway.

I've always cared a lot about my own appearance and personal style etc. a lot. However, it was something I had to learn to do well rather than it coming naturally to me exactly. It was something I had to work on I guess. And I did always feel like it seems effortless for some others. Basically it's something that is really important to me, I've always been really interested in it and cared about it but it's also something which wasn't exactly a natural skill for me either. But after some time I have developed it and understand it a lot more so am now much better at it. I would really like to stay on top of it more than I do. I always try though and feel best when I'm looking my best. And I've gotten better at actually making it happen how I want it to and developing my own style and knowing what looks good etc. Perhaps with Intuives it can take more of a planning type attitude whereas Sensors maybe it is more just instinctual. Obviosuly a lot of N's could be really into it and great at and a lot of S's not but yeah just they do it different ways. So I'm not saying Inutives can't be naturally good at it anyway. But surely it does just require a different process basically. 

I know a lot of NF's who are really into maintaining personal appearance and you can often see it reflected form their functions in the way they do it. For example INFJ's are often very perfectionistic about it (Ni I think), care about being appropriate and looking good to others based on the situation (Fe) and I think Inferior Se makes them more inclined to it as it is a way to use and express their Inferior function. Just for example. Anyway I'm not an NF, I'm an INTP. But most of your question seemed to more about Intuition vs. Sensing so.


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## Kn0wB34 (Sep 2, 2016)

This thread is interesting because my INFP mother constantly makes comments about how I don't do things like wear makeup,straighten my hair, or wear things like dresses and heels...She does just about every form of beauty maintenance in the book lol....

I only care for ear rings, headbands, and putting a bit of time into my hair. Anything to avoid attention...


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## Laeona (Feb 20, 2012)

1. How do you attend to your looks as an NF? (Makeup, eyebrows,hair styles, etc?)

For everyday living, I don't want to spend a lot of time and effort on how I put myself together. I have too much I want to do! I will add something unique to my attire to make an otherwise simple outfit "pop", but it has to be something that doesn't get in my way. I'm about being practical. I think I'd call my look "simplified beauty". I also don't really follow fashions. I will pull things from any era and wear them if I like them. I've had some articles of clothes for 20 years and I still wear them, mixing them and matching them with new.

I'm highly active, not afraid to get dirty and do hard work. I could never see the point of doing my nails if it was all going to be scratched up within an hour. Same with makeup. If it's just going to get smudged or wear off while I'm working, what's the point? And my hair? It's never liked to stay in anything I've ever tried to do. As long as it's out of my face, I'm usually okay.

Here's where the paradox comes in. If the occasion rises, I can pull out all the stops: hair, makeup, and stunning outfit. If I'm going out to an event, if I'm doing something special with a love interest, if I'm playing a part for a performance, for all these occasions I can, and will, spend a lot of time and effort to get the right look. It's about the delight and pleasure it gives other people; I want to make it special for them.

2. Do you feel guilty for doing it? Like you're going against your values?
Whether I'm dressed down or dressing to the nines, it's all in my uniquely "me" way. As long as it never hinders me from what I think is important in life (which is doing things), everything's fine.

I should also note that I'm kind of oblivious to everyone else's fashions sense, too. When I meet someone, I'm not really looking at what they are wearing or how their hair is or what their makeup is like. I'm usually focused on the internal person. I'm so absorbed in figuring out what makes them tick that I couldn't tell you much about the exterior afterward.


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## Hulie (Jul 31, 2016)

1. How do you attend to your looks as an NF? (Makeup, eyebrows,hair styles, etc?)
Makeup- I wear makeup pretty much every day. Just the basics: primer and foundation, mascara, blush. Usually takes about 5 minutes. On weekends, special occasions, and when I just feel like it, I wear more.
Eyebrows- I started plucking my eyebrows at a young age, so they don't really grow back. I just get the occasional stray hair that I pluck.
Hair styles- I bleach my hair. I tend to leave my regrowth longer than I would like, because it's quite expensive to maintain. I usually bleach every 8 weeks. I keep it pretty well toned and conditioned though. I use a hair mask once a week. I only heat style for special occasions, since I want to keep my hair in good condition, and I have to wear it up for work anyway.
Other- I paint my nails on weekends only, since my work prohibits nail polish. Toenails are always painted, and I can't stand chipped polish. I exercise a few times a week, but that's not really only for my looks. Sometimes I'm bad and forget to do it though. I eat absolute garbage (should probably change that). I will probably end up getting cosmetic surgery and/or injectables in the future. I know some people are against it, but I figure if something can be improved, and I have the means to do it, why not? I don't really see it as much different than renovating a house, for example. Obviously there are risks, but as long as an informed decision is made, I don't see the issue.

2. Do you feel guilty for doing it? Like you're going against your values?
I only feel guilty if I spend money on something (clothes, makeup, etc.) that I will not get a lot of use out of. Otherwise, no.


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## HGy (Jul 3, 2016)

I try to take care of myself so I don't look sloppy....in public. 

At home by my self I look 100% homeless on the brink of a mental break down. But at work I show up looking like I just stepped out of a 2017 Banana Republic ad campaign. 

I am wearing the most hideous sweat pants right now with an old t-shirt but my hair and makeup are on point because I was at the office for earlier this morn for a few hrs.


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## HGy (Jul 3, 2016)

Double


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## HGy (Jul 3, 2016)

Hulie said:


> 1. How do you attend to your looks as an NF? (Makeup, eyebrows,hair styles, etc?)
> Makeup- I wear makeup pretty much every day. Just the basics: primer and foundation, mascara, blush. Usually takes about 5 minutes. On weekends, special occasions, and when I just feel like it, I wear more.
> Eyebrows- I started plucking my eyebrows at a young age, so they don't really grow back. I just get the occasional stray hair that I pluck.
> Hair styles- I bleach my hair. I tend to leave my regrowth longer than I would like, because it's quite expensive to maintain. I usually bleach every 8 weeks. I keep it pretty well toned and conditioned though. I use a hair mask once a week. I only heat style for special occasions, since I want to keep my hair in good condition, and I have to wear it up for work anyway.
> ...


1. I use a foundation and powder from Laura Mercier that makes my skin look natural and light glow. I on put on a little bit of pink or peach toned blush, and for my eyes I use the lightest colors in the Naked Basics pallete. My eyes: I don't do eye liner, just mascara. I use a brown shadow on the lower lash line. I wear a glossy light colored lipstick or a lipstick from Lancome called "Pink To The Club" which is almost my natural lip color except it has little flects of gold glitter in it that reflect light so it's sparkly. 
Hair: I only wash it once a week and use dry shampoo instead. My hair is all the way down to the top of my butt and it takes a long time to blow dry so thank God for dry shampoo. I have 3 hair styles : straight with flat iron, loose glam curls with a special long barrel 2" curling iron, or sexy mermaid waves by letting it air dry. I usually wear it straight but it depends on what I'm feeling, I like to mix it up. I love the look of a high ponytail but I don't do it very often because it hurts to that with super long thick hair. 
For skincare I use Prevage serum, Clairins facewash, and a cheap cream by Ponds. I Treseme shampoo/conditioner, protein filler spray and serum by Purology, and Dove brand dry shampoo. 

2. No


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## Watchtower (Aug 20, 2015)

Of course I care about how I look. I wash myself and my clothes, I don't smell, my clothes may not be the latest fashion but they're clean and not full of holes. My hair and eyebrows don't need much maintenance, but I don't bother with makeup since I'm allergic. I like to be comfortable, so everything I do about my appearance is about how I feel, not to attract mates or make people like me.

I think I'd attend more to my looks if I were pretty. It would be justified then, because it's like making something good stand out more not out of vanity but simply for the sake of appreciating beauty and the great canvas you were given. It'd be fun then, playing with different styles, makeup, everything. Being plain is just what it is, it cannot be improved on by something fake, and trying to do so is so obviously desperate that it turns everything ugly.


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## crazitaco (Apr 9, 2010)

Watchtower said:


> Of course I care about how I look. I wash myself and my clothes, I don't smell, my clothes may not be the latest fashion but they're clean and not full of holes. I like to be comfortable, so everything I do about my appearance is about how I feel, not to attract mates or make people like me.


I think this thread is specifically about tending to one's looks, rather than hygiene. I may not really care about my aesthetic appearance, but that doesn't mean I'm a total slob either. I still bathe, brush, and wash my clothes semi-regularly because I hate that grimy need-a-shower feeling, I don't like being smelly, and of course not doing so can make you sick. Plus, nice hot showers are incredibly relaxing and a great way to unwind. I think its safe to assume even those of us who say we don't care about our appearance still do these things atleast minimally for personal comfort and health.


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## Liminal (Jul 18, 2016)

I don't have time to answer since I'm getting my swole on.


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## Watchtower (Aug 20, 2015)

crazitaco said:


> I think this thread is specifically about tending to one's looks, rather than hygiene. I may not really care about my aesthetic appearance, but that doesn't mean I'm a total slob either. I still bathe, brush, and wash my clothes semi-regularly because I hate that grimy need-a-shower feeling, I don't like being smelly, and of course not doing so can make you sick. Plus, nice hot showers are incredibly relaxing and a great way to unwind. I think its safe to assume even those of us who say we don't care about our appearance still do these things atleast minimally for personal comfort and health.


To me it is all about looks, and not hygiene specifically. I don't wear makeup, so washing my face is all about how my face looks. I don't do anything specific with my hair, so washing it is about making it look acceptable. Same thing about my clothes. Maintaining decent hygiene is just something so basic that it isn't even included when I think about attending to my looks.


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## Meliodas (Nov 16, 2016)

Well I would simply ask: do you expect your men to look good? If the answer is no, then be as unkempt as you wish and nobody will have the right to judge you. Just don't be a hypocrite.

Alas, I see this far, far, too often.


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## atamagasuita (May 15, 2016)

When im single i care about my looks when I'm taken i don't hHaha..well.it depends on the guy..because if the guy doesn't even push a single fuck about his looks then it's ok to look average.haha. 

It depends on who you hang out with

Sent from my E5823 using Tapatalk


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## Faery (May 18, 2011)

WintersFlame said:


> 1. How do you attend to your looks as an NF? (Makeup, eyebrows,hair styles, etc?)


I don't wear make up every day, and my hair is sometimes a mess. But I enjoy doing it. 



WintersFlame said:


> 2. Do you feel guilty for doing it? Like you're going against your values?


No.


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## lavendersnow (Jan 13, 2016)

Sometimes I care, sometimes I don't.

I really wish I didn't have a body a lot of the time - I live in my head. Makes bodily needs feel quite unnecessary really lol


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## motherofdragonslover (Dec 21, 2016)

*INFP girl*



WintersFlame said:


> Hi NF forum searchers,
> 
> I chose this thread in particular because of the question- is the intuitive mind predisposed to seeking out only abstract experiences?
> 
> ...


Well I'm an INFP and I love doing my make up. Everything else I don't pay much attention to. my hair gets done when my mom says something about it being too messy and not presentable or my eyebrows when she makes a comment. I usually don't do my eyebrows though. My nails I go somewhere to do them because my nails grow really fast and are super long if I don't tend to them. I usually wait a good.. month or a little less then that or until I can't put it off and I go do them. 
I don't feel guilty buying make up since my mom has drilled in me that appearances are important even if I don't really stress it as much. Necessary things like concealer and make up remover are somethings I would pay for. I don't understand about going against our values. There is no crime in wanting to look pretty from time to time.  If it wasn't for my mom though, I wouldn't care as much. :kitteh::kitteh::kitteh:
Sometimes though I forget what I look like. Like I would pass a mirror and have to stare at myself a really long time because I would have to wrap my head around that I look like this person in the mirror.. like this is what people see. I get a lot of compliments that I kinda get surprised and don't understand why they find me attractive. I'm more so get all bashful when someone compliments the real me. My personality or something. Hope this helps a little!


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## Merisela (Oct 7, 2016)

I care moderately about my looks. I dislike putting on makeup. I only like painting my nails because the process of it (excluding drying them) is fun, but other than that, I don't care for doing it.
I like to look simple and pretty in an effortless way.


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## Silent Theory (Nov 1, 2014)

I enjoy appearing aesthetically pleasing to myself. To me this means, taking good care of my hair and wearing it neatly, occasionally wearing eye makeup and tinted lip balm (which is the extent of my makeup), regularly trimming my nails and painting them, properly moisturizing my skin, and wearing clothing (typically bohemian style) and jewelry (usually handmade) that I find to be pretty.


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

I like a particular style.. I tend to wear black a lot, but when I wear blue jeans, I love my bell bottoms. Skirts, dresses, blouses, anything I can find cute at the Thrift Shop, you name it!

My style is unique to me. I think that's what differentiates me from most who live in SoCal, the mecca of materialism and fashion.

I wear what I want, what's comfortable, and personalize my style according to me. It's so much better than trying to be a fashion piranha.


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## Kenkao (Dec 18, 2016)

I do but only if it will help aid my goal. As infp myself when i have a goal no one's stopping me. Its futile to try to persuade me otherwise.

I dont know how to wear make up. My mom is istj and she's aesthetically gifted. She's also very proficient in applying make up. I didnt acquire even a bit of her skill.


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## Hulie (Jul 31, 2016)

Kenkao said:


> I do but only if it will help aid my goal. As infp myself when i have a goal no one's stopping me. Its futile to try to persuade me otherwise.
> 
> I dont know how to wear make up. My mom is istj and she's aesthetically gifted. She's also very proficient in applying make up. I didnt acquire even a bit of her skill.


I'm pretty sure everyone sucks at applying makeup at first. It's mainly just practice. Good brushes help too.


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## Epic Love (Dec 30, 2016)

I once heard that Inferior Se, which I as an INFJ do posess, is actually responsible that INFJs do care about the rappearance, beautiful things and like to surround themselves with things they deem aesthetically fitting. For me this is very much true since I love to shop things I just think are cute, or pretty. I love fashion, I love interior design, I love everything that is aesthetically pleasing me and my need for perfectionism.

1. How do you attend to your looks as an NF? (Makeup, eyebrows,hair styles, etc?)
I personally do not use makeup, because I just don't like the feeling of it on my skin and wash my face quite often during the day so it would be pointless anyway. Most people told me that I look good without any makeup so I simply do not need it but I care about beauty products like lip balm, shampoo, shwoer gel, lotion, skincare and all that kind of stuff. My eyebrows look always perfectly without doing anything to them because I have drak blonde hair and so I'm just glad that they exist and are visible. What I do care about is my hair and my body type and also my style which involves everything from fashion over shoes and handbags to the little details like scarfs or jewelry for example.

2. Do you feel guilty for doing it? Like you're going against your values?
No I do not at all. Some would probably mistake me for an ESFJ at times, since I love interior design, fashion, the color pink, planning events and other stuff that is linked to this type so much and I'm also a perfectionist like they most of the time come across as well and I can't deny that sometimes I act a bit bossy, or more than a bit. In general I'm on the border between INFJ and ENFJ because my Fe is so high, but my Ni too and even though I value certain traditions and am quite old fahsioned in some cases I'm certaily not an ESFJ even though I might come across as one to people that don't know me that well. So don't worry. You're very likely an INFP and caring about your appearance certainly doesn't change that.


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## fresh (Jul 3, 2011)

*1. How do you attend to your looks as an NF? (Makeup, eyebrows,hair styles, etc?)*

I've struggled with my skin a lot as a teen so that left me wanting to discover any way I could of eradicating my problem areas or covering them up due to feeling self-conscious. This led to a fairly mild interest in makeup in high school, with eyeshadow and eyelashes, the whole nine yards. As I got older, I slowly started to accept the scars that acne had left and just did the minimum. 

So now, I just wear eyeliner and mascara, blush and some highlighter, for me because it's fun and pretty. I barely bother with foundation now, despite the scars, and just conceal. Since I have oily skin, the foundation was always oxidizing and was never the right shade. I started to become aware of the fact that it's almost literally a mask so I just stopped, especially since foundation is so expensive. Skincare (especially natural and Korean products) have become the new interest of mine, mostly because my skin is the only thing I'm insecure about as far as my appearance, but also because it's fun somehow. It's like taking self-care to a new level in a ritualistic way. I love things that smell good too so it's a time to indulge in that.

Hair, I barely even try. No matter what I do, I seem to have split-ends and frizz. So again, I do the bare minimum and have pretty much stuck to the same haircut for years. I let it do it's own thing and sometimes people will comment that it's messy but after straightening it in high school, I just want to leave it alone for the most part.

Clothing is what I put the most effort in because it's the most creative way to express myself. I try to either buy high quality things that will last or stuff from the thrift store that are unique. I try not to buy from cheaper brands like Forever 21 and H&M because it's a complete waste, for me and the planet.

2. Do you feel guilty for doing it? Like you're going against your values?

I do feel guilty if I spend a TON of money, but I honestly don't do this that often so I don't feel as guilty. The only way it goes against my values specifically is if I am using products that are animal tested, or contain sulfates and stuff as I am trying to avoid them. It's not the end of the world to me though if I accidentally do these things. 

I understand what you're getting at completely though in terms of perhaps feeling inauthentic by smothering on makeup and conforming. I have felt the pressure to do that, and I am aware that I do not see my face unless I'm in the mirror so I am pretty much doing it for other's comfort, more or less. I do think that all this makeup is a way of hiding your insecurities. But I also think it's part of human nature as well, since we care what others will think of us, especially if we are single. If you grew up with family or peers that judged you for your appearance, the more likely I think you are to try to change these things in the expected way. People should do what feels right for them. I don't blame others for caring. I don't blame others for not caring either.

I have the most conflict with body hair. I am a lazy person, so I'd rather not shave. But I also like the way smooth legs feel. So I like having the option of shaving when I feel like it, and thanks to third wave feminism, one doesn't have to feel as obligated to shave or wear makeup or do anything "feminine". BUT pubic hair...that leaves me the most perplexed. On one hand, I like to go to the beach and I like certain styles of bikinis and having a bush does not necessarily flatter the look of the bikini bottoms, so I don't want hair then. On the other hand, I get horrendous razor burn, ingrown hairs, and literally nothing will stop this, which is uncomfortable and also doesn't flatter the look of the bikini bottoms. So I could get laser to fix this issue, but it's painful and expensive. And it's permanent kind-of. What if I want the hair later in life? It's there for a reason, right? It's probably the thing I overthink the most and I still have yet to make a decision about it lol. 

To laser or not to laser, that is MY question. Do any other NF ladies (or men) struggle with this?


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## Nephilibata (Jan 21, 2015)

fresh said:


> To laser or not to laser, that is MY question. Do any other NF ladies (or men) struggle with this?[/COLOR]


Good question. I've done it on and off for my underarms but eventually left it because it was really painful. It depends a lot on the procedure and place though. I wasn't told the right preparation so it hurt a lot more than it should have.

Laser is basically heat treatment, so if you have any kind of hair growth, aka NOT freshly shaved, all the hair is gonna get singed off. Right off your skin. Including a burnt flesh smell. If you're shaved there's less to burn so it should hurt less or at least take less time.

It's worth it as long term investment. Just make sure you find a good place to get it done.


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## fresh (Jul 3, 2011)

Nephilibata said:


> Good question. I've done it on and off for my underarms but eventually left it because it was really painful. It depends a lot on the procedure and place though. I wasn't told the right preparation so it hurt a lot more than it should have.
> 
> Laser is basically heat treatment, so if you have any kind of hair growth, aka NOT freshly shaved, all the hair is gonna get singed off. Right off your skin. Including a burnt flesh smell. If you're shaved there's less to burn so it should hurt less or at least take less time.
> 
> It's worth it as long term investment. Just make sure you find a good place to get it done.


Thank you for answering my question  I tried it once on my underarms and same thing, they didn't tell me anything about preparation so it hurt so bad! So i just gave up haha. I'm guessing it's even more painful in more intimate areas. Good to know it wasn't extremely permanent for you so perhaps it's worth trying. I've read mixed experiences where less reputable places resulted in less permanent results as well.


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## Angelic.sweet (Jun 22, 2015)

I do a decent amount of make up. I wear make up on average about 6 days a week I like to take one day off on the weekend as I'm either doing nothing and I like to let my skin breathe. However, I wear makeup more to match my personality and my aesthetic rather to look pleasing to others. I mean its nice to and it makes me feel good but If I really wanted to I could make my self look like the ideal standard of beauty atm (contouring to the heavens and what not, not like I think it looks bad it just isnt for me).
I also feel like I can go out in public without makeup, the reason I tend not to is because I get oily skin and doing makeup help make it feel less so.
As I kinda said before I have a certain style of makeup tends to be more like this~





















Best way to put it, I try and do dolly-esque makeup (try to).
I also view makeup as a fun thing to do (most of the time) and fun to play with, just like another form of art!


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## adacis (Dec 30, 2012)

To be honest, I started to make real effort to make myself look good only recently, and I'm in my early twenties... It feels a lot like having a late high school phase, going through the whole learning how to do makeup and watching video tutorials on it, haha. I don't do a lot of makeup, never intended to; just enough to look like a better version of myself.

No, I don't feel guilty at all about it! In fact, this is so relieving. I've always cared about my looks, it's just I never tried doing better and I settled for looking "just decent." But the big factor is that I spent all of my high school and college life on honing my skills for dream goals. I have no regret about it and I'm happy about how far I've come, it's just now I see how a little humiliating it is when you look so plain compared to your spruced-up, pretty friends. It's very natural for anyone to want to look attractive, so there's no need to feel guilty. I know there's the whole "makeup = dishonesty" mentality going on, but it should be common sense that almost everyone isn't physically perfect. It's silly to expect someone's face with makeup is their true face. In this way, it doesn't go against my values at all.


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## vierkant (Jan 8, 2015)

actually most NFJs i know love dressing nicely and having nice clothes, but i don't pay attention to the latest trends or what people (ex. boyfriends, girlfriends or parents) would like to see me wearing, because only i can know what's actually suits me.

i do not wear make-up because i actually think i look better without it (most people say i do) and i don't shave, but it's not because of laziness, i'm always looking for ways to appreciate my body in it's natural form and it's also a bit of a statement.

i have a great eye for things that would look nice on me and i treat my entire outfit as a work of art. everything needs to be in tune, so if i were to get a red hat (that i actually like) for my birthday and it would only fit half of my wardrobe, then i would only wear half of my wardrobe to be able to wear that hat.

it's not neccesary for me to fit everything in a store and view my options (like my ESFJ sister does, who can take hours fitting everything), because i always know what i want and how it would match whatever i have at home. i find it important that the fabric feels nice and i only like to buy things i could consider myself wearing for a long time.

i do not have a distinct style though, or maybe i just have too many, because i can pull of a lot of looks and i really like to change it a lot with every season. i can always instantly see the potential in clothes and how they would fit me and that i must have it, so i don't go shopping too often, otherwise all my money would go to new clothes. i also make quite some changes to my hairstyle when i feel it's time for a change (now it's a buzz cut).

i notice i feel less complete when somethings off in my outfit, but it also affects the way i feel (also the other way around). i could feel really under the weather and lay in bed all day, but change completely when i get dressed and look nice and representative.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

I'd actually be surprised if at least most ENFJs didn't care about appearance, tertiary Se and all 

Personally I have a problem with figuring out what looks good in some cases, it's hard to explain how because in some ways I feel like I have a good eye for detail, but looking back I tend to always kinda rely on one part of the outfit that I see as beautiful, I always feel like some detail represents me and is magically amazing :laughing:
Like I remember having a shirt when I was younger, it was a fitted black polo shirt and it had a tiny black heart embroidered at the bottom. Doubt anyone but me ever saw the heart, but back then I though it gave it a special touch that transformed the whole look.
Or like I can get too matchy matchy, then I realized that's not good so I try to not be like that.
Also this is very stereotypically not NF but I think it kinda goes with tertiary Se, always liked looking trendy, or like in high school I was always happy when I realized I had enough pieces to dress in for example Guess from head to toe :laughing:

Now I like makeup much more than clothes (and I really genuinely love it, I could swatch things at stores for hours), I try to wear it every day, and I've been getting more into jewelry, also perfume and I focus a lot on vibe of the scents and bottles.
I think that's maybe a NFJ-ish thing, many women seem to feel the need to wear makeup and such, like it's so natural for them to feel the need for it.
And I just want to bring glamour into my life.


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## luna222 (Jun 8, 2016)

Well I look like crap without make up so I always wear it 

And for clothes, I love fashion but generally am not good at knowing what looks well on me.


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## Katie Tran (Apr 8, 2017)

The stereotype of Se being the only function to let a type care about their appearance is bullshit.

A lot of ENFPs (including myself,) INFPs, ENTPs, INTPs I know place a great deal with attending to our looks. We're just less likely to admit it more than others although I fully own up to it.

This does *not* mean we're mistyped.


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## onioni000 (Apr 21, 2017)

I love taking care of my looks to be honest, i find it relaxing and therapeutic, plus it does give you a lot of advantages, it isn't the most thought provoking process, but sometimes you just need an hour to calm your mind, and this does it for me.


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## Sour Roses (Dec 30, 2015)

For me it's not automatic - I've gladly spent a good portion of my life finding my appearance to be irrelevant (at different ages / times / situations).

I need a deeper reason to care. An objective, you could say (job / romance).
When I have that reason, I actually put a LOT of thought into the different elements of appearance - from studying makeup in depth, to hair, and clothes. 
Clothes I think I find the hardest of all... makeup the easiest - being such a detailed, small area of focus (the face) is easier for me to concentrate on. 

It's not easy for me to think about it every day naturally. I prefer to have some days off and wear pajamas. But I sometimes _really_ enjoy myself dolling up... a strong sense of accomplishment on something "hard", especially if I've done well.


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## Cephalonimbus (Dec 6, 2010)

I'm just glad I'm a guy because that shit takes so much time. I mean, I like to look presentable so at the very least I have to shower, keep my finger nails trimmed, maintain various hairy parts and keep a clean and decent looking wardrobe. Can't say it's a hobby of mine.


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## ai.tran.75 (Feb 26, 2014)

I rarely do my hair besides pulling it back - I only wear makeup on special occasion ( so once every other month ) and even so it's lightly applied . 
I dress my personality at all time - if job related I'll find little ways to put a bit of what I feel as "me" into it . I'm still the same height and weight as I was when I was 14 and since I only pick out pieces that I like - I think one can go shopping in my house-on terms of clothing - I always dress nice 
With that said 
I'm too lazy to prep and have a tendency to throw whatever I see on - it takes me less than 2 minutes to get ready 

if somebody compliment on my image I'll be flattered rather than offended - I don't understand why one would be offended by that highly doubt it's an N vs S thing 

I have a feeling J vs P would make more sense for the topic of this thread 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Eefje (May 8, 2017)

Actually I am very self conscious ant I do try to look nice. I just like it when I feel amazing. 

*Dress style. *
I kinda have two sorts of styles: a classic, no nonsense style or a more laid back style with a hint of the current trends. I only tend to follow trends if I believe that I will wear it later on when the trend is over. I like comfortable clothes and rarely wear clothes that I can't wear for a whole day or that are annoying in general. I like to wear things that can be worn for a long period of time. 

*Make-up. *
I rarely wear make up. I used to wear it more often when I was really too self conscious, but now I don't really feel like wearing it every single day. Only when I feel like it. I prefer having it look natural and not over the top. 
-soms bb cream or very light foundation
-the cheapest compact powder you can get lol
-mascara
-eyeliner
Thats about it  I hate anything that comes onto my lips, really. 

*Hair style *
I am well known for my hair  It's one of the things that I am most confident about. I have naturally shiny and healthy hair. I don't do any crazy stuff with it and stick with either a ponytail or just letting it loose. I have a natural balayage which I put on last year. I never colored it before. I am pretty happy with my balayage, it suits me and it looks very natural which is the most important aspect of it


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## mushr00m (May 23, 2011)

> 1. How do you attend to your looks as an NF? (Makeup, eyebrows,hair styles, etc?)
> 2. Do you feel guilty for doing it? Like you're going against your values?


Nearly religiously. It's become a tyranny of vanity. I would enjoy in the past doing such things because it made me feel better about myself, cleaner, more minimalistic, stylish but the idea of others now being dictators over my looks and image is dischordant. I might have the temptation to be all rebellious against their standards of beauty because half the time, I have disagreed with others assesments of what being stylish is. I would say having an attractive personality is very stylish, have you seen those fucking ugly personalities on some women, oh my god, the egotistic one's look so damn ugly, never mind that their bag came from Louis Vuitton. They would probably stab a small creature into the ground with one of their pointy heels. Their facial expressions are hard and they don't say thankyou for holding the door open for them and think they are the only people on planet earth apart from hunk in the corner, they are so insular.


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## BeBeJK (May 10, 2017)

Anytime I go out into the world- either professionally or personally, I wear make up and do my hair and dress attractively. I consider it my armor as I go out into the world. I pick what image I wanted the world to see. Only a few select people get to see inside my home or me without any makeup. I am also very aesthetically driven and have had nips as tucks to repair the ravages of childbirth, breast feeding and age. I do it because I want to like what I look like naked. Strictly for me. I consider an attractive physical outside (shape and weight) reflective of strength and health inside


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## AvatarUncanon (May 20, 2017)

1. How do you attend to your looks as an NF? (Makeup, eyebrows,hair styles, etc?)
I want to look good. I make sure I smell good even. Idk, I just have never been confident in my face even though people tell me I'm physically pretty/cute I prefer to make my clothes do the talking and my scent do the walking. That said I do makeup at a minimal. i don't have acrylic nails or paint my nails which I could but lack the actual interest to do so. Idk. It makes more sense to describe myself as a femme lesbian more than anything. A comfortable but stylish appearance. 

2. Do you feel guilty for doing it? Like you're going against your values?
I feel... I don't know... Disgusted when I look in the mirror sometimes and so I try pretty hard to look good. Which as a nurse constantly in uniform it's hard to do.


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## cuddle bun (Jun 2, 2017)

I love so much to look good but don't always have the energy to make it happen. and "looking good" to me means freshly showered, wearing quality clothes and quality shoes, wearing authentic hair (which for me means not straight hair), and minimal but effective makeup. I spend too much on denim and shoes...I love those. I like wearing makeup but I prefer a very subtle look (like BB cream and mascara and that's it... mixing BB cream with something transparent so I can still see skin...maybe tightlining and lip gloss and blush too if I will be photographed). For every minute I spend putting makeup on myself I've probably spent at least 20 more minutes watching Wayne Goss makeup tutorials on youtube.

The only guilt I feel is if I accidentally spend too much money on my appearance (which happens) - I don't feel guilty about the act.

I'm more likely to feel guilt about the days when I'm too tired to take a shower (which also happens)


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## Miss Thevious (Nov 19, 2015)

1. How do you attend to your looks as an NF? (Makeup, eyebrows,hair styles, etc?)

I think it's a common misconception that not putting on makeup, plucking one's eyebrows, etc. signifies that they are not attending to their looks. Personally I make a very conscious decision when dressing myself everyday. Even the most basic outfit is still a costume of the era. I actually do like makeup, different hairstyles, but I don't do either most days, because it is not part of my casual look. Natural, slightly oily face _is_ the look I'm going for. It's part of the mood. Maybe I'm intentionally makeup-less in a nice dress for contrast, maybe it's in jeans because I'm going for more of a tomboy vibe. It's similar to why people wear ripped or distressed clothing. 


When I'm feeling makeup though I just do some eyeshadow, which is pretty transformation and imo the most fun type of makeup to wear/do. I got that Renaissance palette a few months ago and I love it, it's been encouraging me to do these red looks. Even still though, it's rare I ever like it to look really neat and clean. I love a really lived in look that tells a story. I stopped plucking my eyebrows a few years ago and it's so much better. My unibrow turned blonde and now that all the strays have grown in, they look fine. I have large bushy boy brows that look better this way. And again, the slightly disheveled look appeals to me. 

Lately I've been doing my hair in a french braid to sleep in, and often have been wearing it out. I love the look of a messy braid, it's actually kind of an editorial look, and it works so well with my texture. And even if I take out the braid, it leaves my hair really nice looking, in one consistent wave pattern. I do enjoy doing other types of braids, but have to admit I am lazy. In general I actually would like to try doing more, I have lots of ideas and like to look unique, but I often don't have enough energy to experiment. So I stick with some of these looks that I've figured out are me. 

2. Do you feel guilty for doing it? Like you're going against your values?

Not at all. Actually, when I don't feel like dressing up or don't look a little weird, is when I feel compromised. It's also an opportunity to be creative I'm missing out on.


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## entheos (Aug 18, 2013)

> but something I've recognized is that sensors are more attracted to fashion and aesthetics then than of the intuitive counterpart.


I don't know about the rest of the world population, but when I look around me, I am the one most passionate about body care, fitness, aesthetics, fashion, hair, beauty, etc. whereas my ESFP mother, ISFP sister and ISFJ father don't give two rips about any of that. They always comment that I'm "the artsy quirky health freak" of the family.

I don't worry about looks, worry is not the word. I _care_ about looks. I _love_ looks. I feel positive emotion for the physical. It's a creative and spiritual practice for me, and worry is not in the picture, because I don't put stress or pressure on myself. To me it's super fun, not a chore. I'm also very decisice with outfits because I just know what I like, I have a very intimate grip with my creativity and what I feel best expresses me as a person through outfits, hair, makeup, etc, so I just know.

*How do you attend to your looks as an NF? (Makeup, eyebrows,hair styles, etc?)
*
My looks begin from the inside. I've always been a healthy eater, I care about quality and organic stuff, and in my household growing up (I'm Spanish) fast food didn't exist. We've always cooked from scratch, including cakes and pastries and mayonnaise and everything. I love baking and cooking, and making everything from scratch is something I've continued on doing as an adult (whereas my friends are fast food addicts). So I've never had problems with my skin cause my diet is great.
After taking care of my inside, I also take care of my outside by doing abhyanga (an ayurvedic pratice). I've been doing it for a decade and keeps me intimately connected to my body. I believe it makes me glow from the inside out.
As for the rest: I've never worn makeup except for mascara and I'll put on lipstick once or twice a week, depends how I'm feeling and if it matches my outfit. I've never worn anything like foundation or eyeshadow or concealer or whatever else is out there. I like makeup to be simple and comfortable.
I groom my eyebrows every morning and do a natural organic face mask everyday.
I don't do anything special to my hair because I got good genetics. It's long, abundant and thick and resistent. I don't buy special shampoos or conditioners, but I do hair masks twice a week at the same time that I do abhyanga. I love my hair so much that I put a lot of good intentions into it whenever I wash it and massage it. I also love to treat it really nice and girly by braiding it and putting ribbons and accessories in it and I like feeling like the cutest thing that's ever existed.
I do my nails religiously as well, and they must always match my outfits. I'm very careful with color coordination, everything must be on point and color coordinated.
I'm picky with textures when it comes to clothing, I only buy certain fabrics, and I only wear certain colors. Super picky.

*Do you feel guilty for doing it? Like you're going against your values?
*
No way. It's pleasuable, it's one of my top 3 ways to have an intimate relationship with myself. 
No, because my value is connection to the world, and my body is part of the world, it has a life of its own, it's got cells dying and being born and growing and dying again, all the time, it's the vessel for my soul and my life isn't complete without connection to all aspect of myself no exception.


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## Llyralen (Sep 4, 2017)

Not what I'm into.
I'm a wash and go kind of gal. Natural and outdoorsy. 
It's probably been a year since I even wore any make-up for fun-- like on Halloween. 
I do get mistaken for being 20 years younger than I am fairly often, though. =) Happened yesterday! 
But that can't happen for forever-- I'm 41. =)


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## Librarylady (Mar 11, 2017)

.


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## Meowmixmuffin (Dec 10, 2011)

Me and my best friend are both INFP. She is a fashion designer actually, and we both often bond over trips to Sephora and doing our makeup together.
We also both view makeup just as a fun artistic thing that makes us feel nice. So for us, "tending to our appearance" is a form of self-expression and an artistic outlet. We're not the type to get anxious about leaving the house without makeup. I go without it 80% of the time and just occasionally feel like going full glam, just for fun and for myself.

We both also have somewhat unorthodox fashion sense - her more than me. So it's less about how we present ourselves to other people, and more about how we feel when we cover ourselves in things that are beautiful!


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## Fox hidden in the woods (Dec 10, 2017)

Eefje said:


> Actually I am very self conscious ant I do try to look nice. I just like it when I feel amazing.
> 
> *Dress style. *
> I kinda have two sorts of styles: a classic, no nonsense style or a more laid back style with a hint of the current trends. I only tend to follow trends if I believe that I will wear it later on when the trend is over. I like comfortable clothes and rarely wear clothes that I can't wear for a whole day or that are annoying in general. I like to wear things that can be worn for a long period of time.
> ...


Give me advice for the hair. hehe


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## Eefje (May 8, 2017)

Fox hidden in the woods said:


> Give me advice for the hair. hehe


Haha, as I said: I actually have naturally shiny and silky hair! I wish I could give you some advice :s 
Actually, just don't do tooooo crazy stuff with it. That's a golden rule I guess


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## ButIHaveNoFear (Sep 6, 2017)

@MissAl, I called a tattoo shop, and they said it would be $40 _cash_ for just the normal lobe piercing!! Ughhh I just don't want to spend it! If I do spend the money, it will be like marrying the piercings—I will keep the holes open until I die so I don't waste the $40!


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## Miss Thevious (Nov 19, 2015)

ButIHaveNoFear said:


> @MissAl, I called a tattoo shop, and they said it would be $40 _cash_ for just the normal lobe piercing!! Ughhh I just don't want to spend it! If I do spend the money, it will be like marrying the piercings—I will keep the holes open until I die so I don't waste the $40!


At least if that included decent earrings it wouldn't be so bad. It's even that much at like Claire's lol. As long as they don't get infected and you have to re-do them!! :shocked:

This is really lame but myself I'd worry the people there with a zillion piercings would make fun of me more than the actual piercing. **hides under rock**


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## ButIHaveNoFear (Sep 6, 2017)

MissAl said:


> This is really lame but myself I'd worry the people there with a zillion piercings would make fun of me more than the actual piercing. **hides under rock**


To avoid that, you ask for a really painful piercing at the same time!


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## Eline (Apr 17, 2018)

I rarely wear make up. Only when I'm attending a party, I might wear some foundation and mascara. My daily hairstyle is a long ponytail or a long braid (like Elsa from "Frozen" ^.^)

I must say that I can really enjoy a day with nailpolish, face masks, a curling iron and a flat iron. I'm so busy all day with taking care of other people that I can enjoy some time for myself, it gives me a boost of self confidence when I feel beautiful and it makes me opener to other people and new people.
This only happens 3 times a year or so, I don't feel guilty to be pampered now and then.


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## drizzy lake (Apr 28, 2017)

That’s just cliche. There‘re SFs that don’t really give af, and there are NFs who really do. And both can go more into the abstract or the concrete. It’s just that one comes from a different place than the other.
Like, let’s say a girl wants to look cute. An NF girl will rather come from the place of taking their idea of cute and then realizing it somehow in their “presentation“ (in as what can be perceived through the actual senses). The idea of cute is more important to them. The SF girl would care more about, well... I‘d say something like the physical aesthetics. The presentation comes first, then their ideas about it. Maybe you could say they care more bout “actually being cute“, then just realizing their idea of it. (It also sounds a little biased like NFs are more individualstic or something, but then again, maybe they tend to be) I can’t explain it that well cause I myself come from an N perspective.
But at the end both care just as much about it, y‘know.


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## Marigold714 (Apr 22, 2018)

I put a lot of effort into looking effortless. 😂


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## AshOrLey (May 28, 2016)

MissAl said:


> @ButIHaveNoFear I'm glad I'm not the only one who still doesn't have pierced ears lol.


I love the idea of that. I am emotional over my lobe piercings. For years, I wish I never got them pierced. I remember some secret santa event in elementary school, I got these two little green earrings and wanted to desperately to wear them. My friend, who I believe gave me the earrings, was surprised to learn that mine were not pierced.

Another day, I was standing in the grass on a sunny, colorful afternoon as a little kid. I felt my lobes, and I was self conscious that they were whole. I was so scared of getting them pierced. Eventually I had them done at Claire's.

Now I'm big on the idea of "wholeness" and just being me. It's just my Fi. As a child, I was still developing. The idea of two holes in my lobes bothers me now and has for years.

_____

Also on another topic related to this discussion, I find that I wear more makeup the more pain I am in from a disease. If I don't have this, I go barefaced. Usually.

What is interesting is that I've personally seen so many girls who suffer from chronic pain, or some other ailment that reduces their quality of life, often wearing very colorful makeup, heavy makeup, or are obsessed with it in some way shape or form. I'm not sure if this is just a coincidence, or if there is some actual psychological component to it.

I wonder if it's because makeup is an external pleasure, something that frees your focus out of the trap of your interior self. That's what it feels like to me. I find myself reaching for bright red lipstick when I'm in intense pain, or dolling up in some way shape or form. But this is only with pain that doesn't go away. The mental note that I may have this for the rest of my life, is a significant difference from temporary pain. If it's pain I know will pass, this does not apply. It has to be pain or a disease that is virtually always there and incurable. 

Something about reaching for that lipstick or looking "extra" makes me feel like I'm on top of things, that everything is okay. An illusion that I am healthy. That I can still feel good about my body despite the emotional hardship and pain it brings me.


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## nique1210 (Apr 17, 2018)

I don't wear makeup unless it's a fancy event. Other than that I couldn't be bothered; not even for a job interview. That being said I like fashion but you'd never guess because I don't buy new clothes until absolutely necessary. That doesn't mean I dress sloppily though. If I'm leaving the house I make sure that I'm presentable always. I like painting my nails too. I don't pay to get them done or anything, I just have a bag of different colours and I do it myself so ofc it looks like a mess half the time but I think it's fun so w/e. And I wax my eyebrows once in a blue moon which makes no sense in the long run but sometimes I suddenly feel like doing them so I go get them done from my eyebrow person because as much as I seem like I don't care, I refuse to walk around with fucked up eyebrows. I only do them for me anyway so it doesn't matter if other ppl see that I have unwaxed eyebrows more than waxed. The most care goes into my hair. I try to keep it clean, healthy and moisturised


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## Miss Thevious (Nov 19, 2015)

@AshOrLey I understand the "wholeness" desire, though sometimes it never feels like enough for me. I remember it really hitting me at some point in elementary or middle school where I became so highly bothered by "alterations" via behavior or personality others had caused of me. It was if I had betrayed some eternal core and I had to scrub myself off all these "impure" influences. I would do anything to my hair beyond leaving it as natural as possible, I would not wear any makeup, I would not listen to most popular music or watch popular movies, I would even purposefully wear untrendy clothes. Then sometime in my teen years I realized my fight had perhaps gone too far, where I was denying myself of pleasures I genuinely felt drawn to. Since I have been trying to deem those invasive influences as irrelevant rather than evil, and happiness has been a bit easier to stumble upon. It's almost like I have to trick Fi out of itself sometimes.


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## Sidhe Draoi (Nov 25, 2016)

*1. How do you attend to your looks as an NF? (Makeup, eyebrows,hair styles, etc?)*
I never put on makeup anymore and back when I did I only put on the bare minimum. I harly ever wear jewelry because it breaks or falls off. I've never done my eyebrows. I don't go to hair stylists because they don't know how to work with curly hair. I used to care about how it looked but now I just let it grow out and trim my bangs when I need to.
I do like looking nice and have dressed up to look more like fantasy characters. It makes me feel confident.

*2. Do you feel guilty for doing it? Like you're going against your values?*
No. But I've been called manipulative for dressing the way I like to dress.
I guess I know deep down its a temporary fun thing because I just don't like make-up or need it to like myself. It makes my skin break out and I forget to wash it off.


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## pinkpeonies (May 2, 2018)

1. How do you attend to your looks as an NF? (Makeup, eyebrows,hair styles, etc?)
2. Do you feel guilty for doing it? Like you're going against your values?

Your myer Briggs type does not mean you do not exhibit other functional letters. You can use other psychological functions, we all have them. Your type is independent if you do makeup or dress up. Having stronger sensing may be beneficial, but you can still have appreciation for color, texture, and beauty even being low in sensing. All the effort and interest in beauty is more related to your perception and value for it. Although, I see what your saying, I’m just saying that the linkage between whether a certain MBTI type likes it or is good at it is weaker compared to preference.

I did find the thread interesting and insightful!

1. I love natural makeup. I usually choose sheer to medium coverage with natural to satin finish. I like for my skin to breathe, which is also why I have no makeup days. Lol Makeup is actually bad for your skin because your skin eats whatever touches it. Mostly, I love taking care of my skin especially since I’m dry and sensitive skin. 

Eyebrows: eye pencil or powder, tweezing to keep them medium thick
(Careful not to make eyebrows to thin because when your old you lose a lot of growth there.)

Eyes: mascara ; on occasion I will do eye shadow, fake lashes, and eye liner
Face: foundation or tinted moisturizer, translucent setting powder, and sometimes blush, bronzer, and highlight if I feel like it
Lips: usually chapstick or tinted moisturizer stain; lipstick, lip gloss, lip creams depending on mood and what I’m wearing
Hair: my hair straight and I rarely have bad hair so I leave natural, half up, or in a bun. When I curl I I like doing the ends of my hair. Still working on not getting burnt!

More than makeup I love clothes, shoes, and jewelry. I have worked in fashion retail and it helped me get more exposure to texture, color, and balance. I think I appreciate clothes more because growing up I wore hand me downs and clothes from the flea market. I had a lot of siblings so I never complained, since it was hard for my parents.

2. I appreciate this question. I think it’s funny because growing up I thought makeup and cosmetic surgery was bad, your superficial if use them. I think that had more to do with cultural and social pressures. When your young you don’t see kids your age do that and you bring to school whatever your parents help you get. Your lucky if you even got to choose. Growing into a woman, enjoying beautiful creations, and wanting to have quality in my life through income and take good care of my stuff helped me grow out of my childish ways that didn’t fully understand those things. 

I think it’s important to have limitations on beauty because it can consume you like anything else that humans may strive for like, power and wealth. If you love beauty products and clothes, you should care first about your internal beauty. No one can make you into a quality person with good character. You are the only one who make yourself care. It is easier to become rich and powerful than it is to be a good person with great character your whole life. And that is another great topic to get into, character and what it means to be a good person.


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## pinkpeonies (May 2, 2018)

What does bathing in epsom salt do?


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## pinkpeonies (May 2, 2018)

LittleDreamer said:


> This is a great thread.
> I've rarely done make up in my entire life and I dont do my eyebrows because it hurts so much! Wearing make-up kinda feels wrong to me, like I am betraying myself even though I dont have anything against it. I don't have a problem with others wearing it either. I'm sure it seems self-righteous and condescending but I never mean it to be that way. As a result, Most people think that I am really confident that I don't need make up, but in reality, I am super self conscious and insecure about my face. I understand why people wear makeup to feel better about themselves and be more confident. I hope you all understand what I mean when I say that I would rather feel ugly and natural than feel pretty but for it to make me feel false. Not saying that make-up makes people fake. It's just that it _feels_ that way to _me_ personally.


You are beautiful! I know it seems strange since it’s not like I’ve seen you. Beauty radiates from within. Radiate! Lol


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## LittleDreamer (Dec 11, 2016)

pinkpeonies said:


> You are beautiful! I know it seems strange since it’s not like I’ve seen you. Beauty radiates from within. Radiate! Lol


Aww Thank you!


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