# One thing you hate in a partner



## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)

Trying to read my mind. Seriously, just ask.


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## Hexigoon (Mar 12, 2018)

Lovable said:


> I have a friend (estp) who claims no fear is rationel  And as a feeler, I feel every feeling is legit as you feel it. I also think our reptile brain has some strong survival skills so fear of heights I don't see as such an irritinal fear since our brain is just trying to make sure that we survive, but I'm digressing
> Pretty spot on, so maybe my "hate" is more towards the denial you can have about something towards yourself. So not that he doesn't do anything about it but more that he doesn't realise that he has to do something about it. Very good Hexigoon  Wanna be my new sparrings partner since you seem to have a talent for this
> 
> Oh that good then, I wouldn't worry
> ...


Lol I'm sure he feels that way as an ESTP, though I would agree with you on that. I don't think all fear is irrational. If someone started attacking you, it wouldn't be irrational to feel fear, right? It's as you say, it has a purpose for keeping you alive.
Certainly! It's possible... although I don't have his mind so I couldn't say what he's thinking exactly. But I do understand your "hate" all the same. Or, maybe frustration would be a better word. 
Ohh? You like the whole sparring with me? Aha, then I'm always happy to find willing partners, I like the practice and interesting perspectives. And you do seem quite the formidable opponent for me too, Lovable. 

Oh nice!
Yeah, it was pretty tricky.... even with a bunch of lubricant. We were both virgins though, so I kinda assumed that her body needed time to get accustomed to me trying to insert a foreign object - I actually brought her a vibrator so she could practice and get used to the feeling for when we'd meet up eventually. I was pretty scared of accidentally hurting her...
Yes, I'm sure it's just as much pressure for a woman, probably more so really.
It felt bad when she got all quiet and sad about it. She didn't say it but I knew she was blaming herself, so I figured it was best to just give it a break for a while and chill out on the bed with her. It did eventually work out.


Haha, don't worry, you're not missing out on much. It is true that it needs to have some tightness but it felt like I was suffocating it to death. They might've been more expensive but the right ones did help a lot.
 Ohh, I have tried to masturbate with condoms before, it is a pretty strange feeling. But yeah, in the end, I think you're right. Practice helps ultimately. Mm, you mean like those flavored ones? Those ones can have a certain aroma to them. If there are purely scented ones maybe I should've tried to find some of those.
Well thank you for the advice! You're too kind.


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## Lovable (Apr 1, 2017)

Hexigoon said:


> Lol I'm sure he feels that way as an ESTP, though I would agree with you on that. I don't think all fear is irrational. If someone started attacking you, it wouldn't be irrational to feel fear, right? It's as you say, it has a purpose for keeping you alive.
> Certainly! It's possible... although I don't have his mind so I couldn't say what he's thinking exactly. But I do understand your "hate" all the same. Or, maybe frustration would be a better word.
> Ohh? You like the whole sparring with me? Aha, then I'm always happy to find willing partners, I like the practice and interesting perspectives. And you do seem quite the formidable opponent for me too, Lovable.


Yeah, he can be a challenge sometimes, but still my best friend  Oh I love when people agree with me, it is just so much easier  Thank you. Frustration would indeed be a better word, but the game is not called: "one thing you are frustrated about in a partner" and we must either follow the rules of the game or quit playing.. or something like that :s
I think sparring is a great tool to discover more things about myself, and it is always nice to do it with people you feel kindness towards. And a compliment, oh thank you, now you make me blush. Anytime, we could even set up a sunday discussion on random topics.



Hexigoon said:


> Oh nice!
> Yeah, it was pretty tricky.... even with a bunch of lubricant. We were both virgins though, so I kinda assumed that her body needed time to get accustomed to me trying to insert a foreign object - I actually brought her a vibrator so she could practice and get used to the feeling for when we'd meet up eventually. I was pretty scared of accidentally hurting her...
> Yes, I'm sure it's just as much pressure for a woman, probably more so really.
> It felt bad when she got all quiet and sad about it. She didn't say it but I knew she was blaming herself, so I figured it was best to just give it a break for a while and chill out on the bed with her. It did eventually work out.


Lube is the way to go, unless you get her to wild up then it won't be needed. Oh yeah, I was gonna ask about that, because like you say yourself, getting used to a foreign object takes times. Oh good thinking on your behalf. We can be extremly tight downthere the first couples of times, and some girls get so tense about it, that they tighten the muscles downthere which only makes it harder. Thinking about her, good to see that chivalry isn't dead yet 
I think the pressure is the same for both genders but maybe we think about the womans as being more important or something, which I think is a shame. 
Again, thinking of her feelings, chivalry lives!  And yes, patience usually pans out.



Hexigoon said:


> Haha, don't worry, you're not missing out on much. It is true that it needs to have some tightness but it felt like I was suffocating it to death. They might've been more expensive but the right ones did help a lot.
> Ohh, I have tried to masturbate with condoms before, it is a pretty strange feeling. But yeah, in the end, I think you're right. Practice helps ultimately. Mm, you mean like those flavored ones? Those ones can have a certain aroma to them. If there are purely scented ones maybe I should've tried to find some of those.
> Well thank you for the advice! You're too kind.


Thanks, but I have no penis envy or maybe a little, stand up peeing do sound nice. 
They are not flavored but they do have a smell that reminds me of.. Caramel? IDK, it takes the top off the whole icky condom thing. 
Thank you too, I love to help people and give them advice if I can, so if you found it useful then I'm very happy.


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## Hexigoon (Mar 12, 2018)

Lovable said:


> Yeah, he can be a challenge sometimes, but still my best friend  Oh I love when people agree with me, it is just so much easier  Thank you. Frustration would indeed be a better word, but the game is not called: "one thing you are frustrated about in a partner" and we must either follow the rules of the game or quit playing.. or something like that :s
> I think sparring is a great tool to discover more things about myself, and it is always nice to do it with people you feel kindness towards. And a compliment, oh thank you, now you make me blush. Anytime, we could even set up a sunday discussion on random topics.


Oh do you guys have like a friends with benefits thing going on, or is it more that you view your partner like a best friend? I always view a romantic partner like my best buddy.
Ah well I'll try not to agree too much!  Mmm, that is true though.... I guess if there is something I've "hated" before in a partner (other than disloyalty which is probably universally hated) it's when I would tell them I love them and they just didn't seem to care.
I also hate when they'd keep a secret they don't like about me in order to later use it against me in an argument to make me feel guilty. I wish they would've just been upfront with me earlier if something I was doing was upsetting them, it succeeds in making me feel like an asshole.

Of course! Any time indeed, I do love to get to talk with my fellow INFJs.



> Lube is the way to go, unless you get her to wild up then it won't be needed. Oh yeah, I was gonna ask about that, because like you say yourself, getting used to a foreign object takes times. Oh good thinking on your behalf. We can be extremly tight downthere the first couples of times, and some girls get so tense about it, that they tighten the muscles downthere which only makes it harder. Thinking about her, good to see that chivalry isn't dead yet
> I think the pressure is the same for both genders but maybe we think about the womans as being more important or something, which I think is a shame.
> Again, thinking of her feelings, chivalry lives!  And yes, patience usually pans out.


Yes, that was the problem. Just too tight to get inside, and I think she was quite tense so I'm sure that contributed to it.
^^ Thank you! I don't know if it makes me chivalrous, I was just taught to treat other people how I'd want to be treated and that always made sense so I try to keep to it. I wouldn't want to be pressured to take a dick if it was uncomfortable. And I felt her emotional state too strongly to ignore it. It's hard to feel turned on when you see your partner struggling... but it sounds like you know about that from the phimosis situation.
Yeah, but I also think women have an understandable fear of possibly getting pregnant that guys don't really have. I'd probably be extra selective with partners if I worried about that to the same extent. (I guess it's less of a problem these days however).



> Thanks, but I have no penis envy or maybe a little, stand up peeing do sound nice.
> They are not flavored but they do have a smell that reminds me of.. Caramel? IDK, it takes the top off the whole icky condom thing.
> Thank you too, I love to help people and give them advice if I can, so if you found it useful then I'm very happy.


Lol well, I actually heard once it wasn't good for you to stand up while peeing so I began to limit that.
Wow, I do like caramel so that's a bonus... Aw darn it, I'll need to go searching for those next time if ever! 
I sure did, and same here!


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## Lovable (Apr 1, 2017)

Hexigoon said:


> Oh do you guys have like a friends with benefits thing going on, or is it more that you view your partner like a best friend? I always view a romantic partner like that.
> Ah well I'll try not to agree too much!  Mmm, that is true though.... I guess if there is something I've "hated" before in a partner (other than disloyalty which is probably universally hated) it's when I would tell them I love them and they just didn't seem to care.
> I also hate when they'd keep a secret they don't like about me in order to later use it against me in an argument to make me feel guilty. I wish they would've just been upfront with me earlier if something I was doing was upsetting them, it succeeds in making me feel like an asshole.
> 
> Of course! Any time indeed, I do love to get to talk with my fellow INFJs.


Wait, what? Oh no no no no... He is my best friend, the estp with big thick line under friend, we have never and will never have sex. Oh God no.. Yikes. Where did that come from? No, no the ESTP friend of my is just a friend. The one with the foreskin is a INFP dude I dated for almost 3 months now, and recently ended it with ( not because of the foreskin) but because he was an Asshole..

Back to the ESTP, we have been friends for over 7 years and is one of my easiest friendships, he is like a half brother, my whole family has practically adopted him. I suspect them all of being ESXX so figures that he fits right in there... Whenever I have boyfriend/girlfriend that is my SO then I wouldn't say they become my best friend but something higher, which I don't know how to explain..
Agree all you want, it makes me feel smart and sassy 
I agree that disloyalty probably is universally hated, or cheating, I haven't ever heard anyone being kean on that, unless it is some sort of deal between the partners, but then it happens knowingly and then I don't think it counts as cheating.
That makes sense, and it is cruel to do something like that :/

Well don't slap a sticker on me just yet, I my INTX friend still questions my INFJ, I feel so borderline sometimes trying to be "sure" of my type. I do feel at home in the INFJ but I also feel sort of false advertising when I say I'm not a 100% sure. Will you allow me the doubt? Will you still wanna talk to a fellow IXFJ? 



Hexigoon said:


> Yes, that was the problem. Just too tight to get inside, and I think she was quite tense so I'm sure that contributed to it.
> ^^ Thank you! I don't know if it makes me chivalrous, I was just taught to treat other people how I'd want to be treated and that always made sense so I try to keep to it. I wouldn't want to be pressured to take a dick if it was uncomfortable. And I felt her emotional state too strongly to ignore it. It's hard to feel turned on when you see your partner struggling... but it sounds like you know about that from the phimosis situation.
> Yeah, but I also think women have an understandable fear of possibly getting pregnant that guys don't really have. I'd probably be extra selective with partners if I worried about that to the same extent. (I guess it's less of a problem these days however).


Yeah, some girls have big problems with getting anything in there, poor thing. Hope she is doing better now, which I guess you may not know depending on whether you still talk.
That is pure chivalry  Believe me, there are guys who will put their needs first and who wouldn't even think twice about the other persons feelings. Makes me so angry.
We never got pass the touching fase before I realized it was dead from before it even started, but he did seem to have big penis issues. But yes, I have tried being the one in pain and also inflicting it (unwillingly and not as part of anything kinky)
Oh yes that is the biggest mood killer ever! I have had a few times when I wasn't sure, but as luck would have it, nothing happen - thank you birthcontrol! I know a girl, she can't even have sex with her boyfriend because she is so scared of getting pregnant, it takes the fun out of it for sure. But you guys can have it too... The INFP guy I just dated he was afraid that I was gonna steal his sperm and get pregnant with it and he would end up not having a say in it. I felt SO WEIRD to be accused of that? Like I want this random guys baby? I mean his genetic genepool wasn't even that great. And I don't see the point of having a baby that the dad is not interested in? I mean this poor baby having his dad being reluctant against it from the start? Why are some people so cruel? Another reason for stop dating him, accusing me of being a sperm stealing crazy bitch, no thank you! Which is kind of funny now that I think about it, because he did try and pressure me into having sex with him.. Hmm, a real gem I found there. Good he is gone.



Hexigoon said:


> Lol well, I actually heard once it wasn't good for you to stand up while peeing so I began to limit that.
> Wow, I do like caramel so that's a bonus... Aw darn it, I'll need to go searching for those next time if ever!
> I sure did, and same here!


Haha omg laughing at this, thanks 
I think maybe it is a Danish brand, IDK.. But go search and you shall find


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## series0 (Feb 18, 2013)

pwowq said:


> Trying to read my mind. Seriously, just ask.


I dearly LOVE it when they try to read my mind. But I detest with a passion barely bridled the woundedness that happens from their side when they guess WRONG and I tell them so.

If you are trying to read my mind, BE COMFORTABLE BOTH WITH YOUR FAILURE AND MY TELLING YOU YOU FAILED, because only getting it right is right (all the way).


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## Hexigoon (Mar 12, 2018)

Lovable said:


> Wait, what? Oh no no no no... He is my best friend, the estp with big thick line under friend, we have never and will never have sex. Oh God no.. Yikes. Where did that come from? No, no the ESTP friend of my is just a friend. The one with the foreskin is a INFP dude I dated for almost 3 months now, and recently ended it with ( not because of the foreskin) but because he was an Asshole..
> 
> Back to the ESTP, we have been friends for over 7 years and is one of my easiest friendships, he is like a half brother, my whole family has practically adopted him. I suspect them all of being ESXX so figures that he fits right in there... Whenever I have boyfriend/girlfriend that is my SO then I wouldn't say they become my best friend but something higher, which I don't know how to explain..
> Agree all you want, it makes me feel smart and sassy
> ...



Oh no! I'm really sorry for mistaking things! I hope I didn't give you any unpleasant visuals. Haha I thought you were talking about the phimosis sufferer. I see though!
My childhood best friend is an ESTP too, so I do know how that feels, it is one of the easiest friendships, surprisingly.
It feels like an odd couple sort of friendship if you are an INFJ, but it somehow works well.

Something higher? Like soul mates?
You like to feel a little sassy, hey? Aw then, I guess I can oblige you within reasonable limits. 
Yep, if it's an open relationship or something then that's at least agreed upon. No problem with that, but going behind their back is just a big no-no.

Ahh I apologize if I mistyped you at all. I was just pretty sure I saw you typed as one and seen you around the INFJ forums a bunch, but if you were another type then that's perfectly fine too! Of course I'll still talk with you. 
There's no problem with having doubt about it either.




> Yeah, some girls have big problems with getting anything in there, poor thing. Hope she is doing better now, which I guess you may not know depending on whether you still talk.
> That is pure chivalry  Believe me, there are guys who will put their needs first and who wouldn't even think twice about the other persons feelings. Makes me so angry.
> We never got pass the touching fase before I realized it was dead from before it even started, but he did seem to have big penis issues. But yes, I have tried being the one in pain and also inflicting it (unwillingly and not as part of anything kinky)
> Oh yes that is the biggest mood killer ever! I have had a few times when I wasn't sure, but as luck would have it, nothing happen - thank you birthcontrol! I know a girl, she can't even have sex with her boyfriend because she is so scared of getting pregnant, it takes the fun out of it for sure. But you guys can have it too... The INFP guy I just dated he was afraid that I was gonna steal his sperm and get pregnant with it and he would end up not having a say in it. I felt SO WEIRD to be accused of that? Like I want this random guys baby? I mean his genetic genepool wasn't even that great. And I don't see the point of having a baby that the dad is not interested in? I mean this poor baby having his dad being reluctant against it from the start? Why are some people so cruel? Another reason for stop dating him, accusing me of being a sperm stealing crazy bitch, no thank you! Which is kind of funny now that I think about it, because he did try and pressure me into having sex with him.. Hmm, a real gem I found there. Good he is gone.


I hope so too! I do sometimes check to see if she's doing okay but we're not together anymore. I do hope she finds someone who can make her happy like I wanted to. And at least she has that cool vibrator now which I thought was pretty awesome. It had a bunch of settings and it felt nice and well crafted, I kinda wanted to keep it. lol

Really though? That's awful! It seems like he had some issues going on there... I wonder why that was...
I mean, yeah, it's true. I would worry getting a girl pregnant on accident... I have been in a relationship which ended with them giving me the ultimatum to: "have children with me within the next number of years or we'll have to break up" and I just couldn't accept that because I don't want to bring my own children into the world if I can't make sure they'll be provided for properly. I'm in no position to do that, nor was she.

It seems that it was simply for the best that you broke up really. You certainly shouldn't let people treat you like that.



> Haha omg laughing at this, thanks
> I think maybe it is a Danish brand, IDK.. But go search and you shall find


 No problem! I'm glad I still have the ability to make others laugh.
Oh Danish? Ha, that would narrow it down a bit in that case. I'd just hope they make them in my size. 
If sexy time can't smell like caramel then what is even the point?


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## SgtPepper (Nov 22, 2016)

egocentric/inability to be objective

that's the big one.


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## Schizoid (Jan 31, 2015)

@Lovable @Hexigoon

ESTPs are INFJs' dual in socionics, and they are supposed to be the best match for INFJ whether it's friendship or even marriage, and this is why you guys felt an easy connection with ESTPs. The ESTP helps to protect your vulnerable areas while appreciating your good points, and they love you exactly as who you are without trying to change you, and this is also why ESTPs and INFJs tend to get along quite well, whether it's friendship or romantic wise. Btw, how did you guys meet your ESTP best friends? Did you meet them at school, or at the workplace, or at the bar, or where?
I'd like to meet more ESTPs in my life, and I wonder where I can find them, haha.

More about Duality: Socionics Intertype Relationships: Dual


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## Lovable (Apr 1, 2017)

Hexigoon said:


> Oh no! I'm really sorry for mistaking things! I hope I didn't give you any unpleasant visuals. Haha I thought you were talking about the phimosis sufferer. I see though!
> My childhood best friend is an ESTP too, so I do know how that feels, it is one of the easiest friendships, surprisingly.
> It feels like an odd couple sort of friendship if you are an INFJ, but it somehow works well.
> 
> ...


It is okay, no harm done  He is a nice enough guy, but yeah more like a brother than someone I would want to see naked.
I'm glad you have one too, they are precious  Would you ever consider dating yours?

I don't think all my former boyfriends have been soul mates, maybe only 1 but in a fucked up spiderman/venom sort of way :s But with all of them I have felt that special bonding, that for me is part of that love feeling.
Only within reasonable limits? What if I want to draw outside the lines? 
Yeah, dishonesty and cheating is a big no-go, agreed.

I don't know if you mistyped me? Maybe I just don't feel special enough to be an INFJ, I feel as it is made hard to "live up to" if that makes sense?
Thanks, I appreciate that.



Hexigoon said:


> I hope so too! I do sometimes check to see if she's doing okay but we're not together anymore. I do hope she finds someone who can make her happy like I wanted to. And at least she has that cool vibrator now which I thought was pretty awesome. It had a bunch of settings and it felt nice and well crafted, I kinda wanted to keep it. lol
> 
> Really though? That's awful! It seems like he had some issues going on there... I wonder why that was...
> I mean, yeah, it's true. I would worry getting a girl pregnant on accident... I have been in a relationship which ended with them giving me the ultimatum to: "have children with me within the next number of years or we'll have to break up" and I just couldn't accept that because I don't want to bring my own children into the world if I can't make sure they'll be provided for properly.


Haha, maybe it is time you bought one for yourself? 

Oh that is a very harsh way to have the conversation about where the relationship is going.



Hexigoon said:


> I don't want to bring my own children into the world if I can't make sure they'll be provided for properly


I FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME WAY, is that a INFJ-thing? I want something to offer this little thing, and I want a find a partner that I feel can be a good fit as a father and partner in (not crime but) raising and being there. Which is also why I feel very angry towards people who gives up on their kids and leaves them, but I'm getting of topic again.



Hexigoon said:


> I'm in no position to do that, nor was she.
> 
> It seems that it was simply for the best that you broke up really. You certainly shouldn't let people treat you like that.
> 
> ...


Then it sound like the right decision was made, but you know that better yourself 

Yeah, I think he was really a jerk, so no I shouldn't and I won't.

Yeah, we are the great country with pastries  And caramel smelling condoms, haha 
I know, right?



Schizoid said:


> ESTPs are INFJs' dual in socionics, and they are supposed to be the best match for INFJ whether it's friendship or even marriage, and this is why you guys felt an easy connection with ESTPs. The ESTP helps to protect your vulnerable areas while appreciating your good points, and they love you exactly as who you are without trying to change you, and this is also why ESTPs and INFJs tend to get along quite well, whether it's friendship or romantic wise. Btw, how did you guys meet your ESTP best friends? Did you meet them at school, or at the workplace, or at the bar, or where?
> I'd like to meet more ESTPs in my life, and I wonder where I can find them, haha.


I knew that  Which is also one of the reasons I do think I might be a INFJ, but then again, I never met anyone who didn't like him, which to this day still makes me study him a bit. I think this might be the answer to your statement about the odd couple, @Hexigoon it is like @Schizoid says, we do share the same functions, but they are kind of backwards version of us. They have SETIFENI and we have NIFETISE. I do really feel that I can be myself around him, with no expectations which is so nice. But I also feel his (I don't know) S-side? maybe? I mean we can have nice deep talks, it seems like it doesn't come that easy for him, but he tries for me. And also it seems like he can't sit still for long, something has to happen, we have to do something, go somewhere. I don't know how to describe it, like a restlessness. I treasure him dearly, but after a few hours doing "something" I need to do nothing, and I think that would clash in a relationship between us.
I met mine at school studying coding.I don't know where people would go about finding them? :s I met one on tinder, but I doubt that he is ESTP, he gives me a totally different vibe, but maybe that is just me being silly


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## Schizoid (Jan 31, 2015)

Lovable said:


> I knew that  Which is also one of the reasons I do think I might be a INFJ, but then again, I never met anyone who didn't like him, which to this day still makes me study him a bit. I think this might be the answer to your statement about the odd couple, @Hexigoon it is like @Schizoid says, we do share the same functions, but they are kind of backwards version of us. They have SETIFENI and we have NIFETISE. I do really feel that I can be myself around him, with no expectations which is so nice. But I also feel his (I don't know) S-side? maybe? I mean we can have nice deep talks, it seems like it doesn't come that easy for him, but he tries for me. And also it seems like he can't sit still for long, something has to happen, we have to do something, go somewhere. I don't know how to describe it, like a restlessness. I treasure him dearly, but after a few hours doing "something" I need to do nothing, and I think that would clash in a relationship between us.
> I met mine at school studying coding.I don't know where people would go about finding them? :s I met one on tinder, but I doubt that he is ESTP, he gives me a totally different vibe, but maybe that is just me being silly


Oh, I can definitely see you as an INFJ, and Ni subtype of INFJ to be even more precise. I saw quite a few of your posts around the forum, and there's no other mbti type that fits you more than INFJ.

And from what I've observed, ESTPs tend to appear quite popular and have many acquaintances, but true friends are pretty rare for them. In fact, ESTPs tend to have a hard time distinguishing who is their acquaintances and who is their true friend, and they sometimes have this habit of mistaking their casual acquaintances as true friends.

As a result, ESTPs ended up trusting the wrong people and they sometimes get burned by people whom they regard as friends, and this gives them lots of trust issues toward people. And we INFJs are the only ones who can help them break down their walls and help them to trust people again. And INFJs are also able to read people well and able to pre-warn the ESTPs of people who have bad intentions toward them. ESTPs are also prone to impulsiveness, and INFJs are able to foresee the consequences of every actions, and this is exactly what ESTP needed, they needed someone who is able to foresee the consequences of every action and prevent them from making any rash decisions that would land them in huge trouble.
ESTPs are also bad at knowing when is the exact timing to take actions, and this is where INFJs are able to help them.
Donald Trump is an ESTP for example, and his inferior Ni often causes him to take actions at the wrong timing, U.S. has an explosion of coronavirus cases, because he lockdown the country too late, and he reopened the country too early. He doesn't know when is the right timing to take actions.
If he had an INFJ by his side to help counsel him when is the right timing to lockdown the country and reopen the country, the pandemic situation wouldn't have went out of control in the U.S.

INFJs also have inferior Se and are prone to inertia, and this is where ESTPs are able to help.
I actually know of an INFJ and an ESTP celebrity couple who dated for 9 years. The INFJ managed to start her own online business selling clothes and cosmetics and she managed to make millions of dollars from it. Guess who helped her to become successful and pushed her to start that business? It was her ESTP bf, he knew that she has a creative streak in her, so he started to encourage her toward setting up this business. Each time she loses confidence in herself, he would motivate her and encourage her, until she eventually succeeded. If not for the ESTP, the INFJ would be in an inertia mode and would be a jobless unemployed couch potato at home and wouldn't have become a millionaire.

This is also the reason why mbti INFJ and ESTP are often called soulmates in socionics and are a matchmake in heaven. The ESTPs and INFJs actually complement each other perfectly.


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## Lovable (Apr 1, 2017)

Schizoid said:


> Oh, I can definitely see you as an INFJ, and Ni subtype of INFJ to be even more precise. I saw quite a few of your posts around the forum, and there's no other mbti type that fits you more than INFJ.


Thanks, I have felt so rootless not being sure-sure, but this helps a lot. I actually Googled it and some of the things are just so spot on! Like I have had some issues with the whole INFJ being so organized, because I am but I have my creative mess but this line helped" In her apartment or at her workplace may allow for artistic mess and disorganization" - really spot on. 

And this: "Has figurative, associative memory, and can recall experiences from the past down to the smallest detail. Reminiscing about the past, she recalls all the mistakes and mishaps, then extracts from them lessons for the future." is probably why my INTX friend sees me as being an ISFJ-type. This really blow my mind, thanks for this!


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## Aarya (Mar 29, 2016)

pwowq said:


> Trying to read my mind. Seriously, just ask.


Don't know about you, but I've met some people who were good at telling what I was trying to hide or was not saying, without me previously realizing I was hiding it because it was bothering me; and hearing it helped me understand what was going on with myself better, or made me like the person more. I like it when people try to understand you without words.

But of course, it can be incredibly childish to simply jump to a conclusion or be 100% sure of an impression that you haven't checked at all with the other, and that comes from pure ego rather than a genuine attempt to "read you". It's especially true when they see that their conclusion is extremely irking or mean, or not fitting at all, but they still try to go with it... that's just bullying/being mean or trying to feel superior, nothing to do with trying to understand somebody, I've experienced that too.

Had this young guy once trying to make psychological guesses in a provocative way because he did not like some random truth I told him, saying things like "wow you were definitely the bully in high school" and other complete bullshit like that (it was such a bad guess because, furthermore, the opposite is true). He was on antidepressive pills like half the population of uk and drinking at the same time or smoking pot too, and he even came one evening to a gathering trying to play Jenga with shaking hands like he had Parkinson's. He was unable to concentrate properly, was swearing a lot, making disgusting jokes, and made me wonder how the hell he wasn't being escorted out of there by anyone because that to me was just unacceptable, socially-speaking. So weak... the whole thing. His whole energy was off and off-putting. 

One thing I hate? Lies and ego. Well, it takes at least two to create a combo I can call "hate inducing".


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## Hexigoon (Mar 12, 2018)

Schizoid said:


> @Lovable @Hexigoon
> 
> ESTPs are INFJs' dual in socionics, and they are supposed to be the best match for INFJ whether it's friendship or even marriage, and this is why you guys felt an easy connection with ESTPs. The ESTP helps to protect your vulnerable areas while appreciating your good points, and they love you exactly as who you are without trying to change you, and this is also why ESTPs and INFJs tend to get along quite well, whether it's friendship or romantic wise. Btw, how did you guys meet your ESTP best friends? Did you meet them at school, or at the workplace, or at the bar, or where?
> I'd like to meet more ESTPs in my life, and I wonder where I can find them, haha.
> ...


Yeah I've heard about that too, and that types that share the same 2 middle functions tend to get along well also because there's a sort of balance there. I do like ENTPs and ISFJs as well. I've wondered what dating an ESTP would be like.... Sexual activity would be high surely.

My friend is my neighbour so I've known him most of my life. We went to school together and he'd always invite me out to play when I would've just stayed indoors otherwise. I think having some high Se friends is very good for INFJs.
I find Se attractive in others, and it helps feed Ni, but I know I'm not the best with it... At least my friend kinda helped me get more in touch with it so I don't know if I'm as bad at it as other INxJs...

I think ESTPs would be anywhere you'd find some action and excitement outdoors in particular. Gyms, parks, sporting events, parties, concerts, bars, beaches, festivals, wilderness exploration, military bootcamp, martial arts schools (my friend took up several martial arts growing up and earned quite a number of awards from it - was a pretty strong fighter).
I think he works in construction now, suits him.




Lovable said:


> It is okay, no harm done  He is a nice enough guy, but yeah more like a brother than someone I would want to see naked.
> I'm glad you have one too, they are precious  Would you ever consider dating yours?
> 
> I don't think all my former boyfriends have been soul mates, maybe only 1 but in a fucked up spiderman/venom sort of way :s But with all of them I have felt that special bonding, that for me is part of that love feeling.
> ...


Phew! ^^
Haha oh no no, my friend is heterosexual, and like with most ESTPs, was always blunt and straightforward about what he found hot. So he wouldn't want to date me even if I wanted. But yes, he's charming in a strange kind of way, like... I don't know anyone who disliked him even though he could say some pretty offensive things. Mostly jokes though. I couldn't stay upset with him even when he hurt me a few times.

It's natural to feel like that with partners. Well, maybe not the spiderman/venom thing, that sounds a little twisted. But with every partner I had I always felt like they were like "the one."
 If you wanna draw outside of my reasonable lines then that's just getting into dangerous levels of sass because I'm already quite reasonably lenient.

Aww, you don't have to live up to anything like that. Being a certain type doesn't make someone more or less special.
I don't think I'm particularly special myself. I have too much uncertainity over who I really am to feel unique.




> Haha, maybe it is time you bought one for yourself?
> 
> Oh that is a very harsh way to have the conversation about where the relationship is going.
> 
> I FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME WAY, is that a INFJ-thing? I want something to offer this little thing, and I want a find a partner that I feel can be a good fit as a father and partner in (not crime but) raising and being there. Which is also why I feel very angry towards people who gives up on their kids and leaves them, but I'm getting of topic again.


It's funny you say that because as far as I'm aware, guys don't usually buy vibrators for themselves, but the vibrations feel good all the same, so ahh... maybe I should... 

The relationship was already on thin ice at the time so kinda glad I was given that ultimatum really, it made it a bit easier to break it off.

That's really good to hear! Bad parents make me angry too. I'm not sure if it's an INFJ thing, but I don't want children being deprived of a good childhood because their parents don't have their shit together. Those early years are extremely important for their personal development. I want them to have a favourable upbringing so they have all they need to become their best selves as adults. I have a fear about bringing a monster into the world.





> Then it sound like the right decision was made, but you know that better yourself
> 
> Yeah, I think he was really a jerk, so no I shouldn't and I won't.
> 
> ...


I do like Danish biscuits~<3 Oh so this means you're from Denmark?
Oh yes, what if I mixed caramel scented condoms with chocolate flavored lube...? Or would that be too much?


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## Skimt (May 24, 2020)

There's a Dane here?
Where's the Dane?
Who's Danish?
What's a Dane doing here?
Where's the Dane?
Show me where the Dane is!
Dane!
Show yourself, Dane!
Dane! Dane! Dane!









Ps. I don't hate anything in my partner. Secretiveness maybe. Don't care to label it in one word like this.


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## Lovable (Apr 1, 2017)

Hexigoon said:


> Yeah I've heard about that too, and that types that share the same 2 middle functions tend to get along well also because there's a sort of balance there. I do like ENTPs and ISFJs as well. I've wondered what dating an ESTP would be like.... Sexual activity would be high surely.
> 
> My friend is my neighbour so I've known him most of my life. We went to school together and he'd always invite me out to play when I would've just stayed indoors otherwise. I think having some high Se friends is very good for INFJs.
> I find Se attractive in others, and it helps feed Ni, but I know I'm not the best with it... At least my friend kinda helped me get more in touch with it so I don't know if I'm as bad at it as other INxJs...
> ...


Oh I thought is was ENFP being the shared NF? Hmm.. I could see myself run off with a ENFP, like the one who almost charmed my pants right of..

I think my friend ESTP helps me to be more in the now, which can be a challenge because I'm always planning ahead or in my head. And like you said, helps me get outside and do more "sporty" activities. 

My friend likes to play hardball, so maybe go somewhere actionpacked. 

Glad he found a job that is for him  My friend is coding all day, he is very good at it, do I am concerned that it is such a still sitting job and all his energy, but it seems to be working for him, and that is was is most important.



Hexigoon said:


> Phew! ^^
> Haha oh no no, my friend is heterosexual, and like with most ESTPs, was always blunt and straightforward about what he found hot. So he wouldn't want to date me even if I wanted. But yes, he's charming in a strange kind of way, like... I don't know anyone who disliked him even though he could say some pretty offensive things. Mostly jokes though. I couldn't stay upset with him even when he hurt me a few times.
> 
> It's natural to feel like that with partners. Well, maybe not the spiderman/venom thing, that sounds a little twisted. But with every partner I had I always felt like they were like "the one."
> ...


Yeah, my friend is also very blunt about his prefered bodytype and such. Haha, same here  I do sometimes take a minipause from him, if he really irks me, but like you say, I can't stay mad at him.

Yeah my venomguy was my best fit yet, and the most heartbreaking, he is "the one that got away" eventough I let him go myself. Twisted and long story, for another time perhaps 

Haha, I think I will just keep drawing, and then we will see where things go 

Thanks, that helps. 



Hexigoon said:


> It's funny you say that because as far as I'm aware, guys don't usually buy vibrators for themselves, but the vibrations feel good all the same, so ahh... maybe I should...
> 
> The relationship was already on thin ice at the time so kinda glad I was given that ultimatum really, it made it a bit easier to break it off.
> 
> That's really good to hear! Bad parents make me angry too. I'm not sure if it's an INFJ thing, but I don't want children being deprived of a good childhood because their parents don't have their shit together. Those early years are extremely important for their personal development. I want them to have a favourable upbringing so they have all they need to become their best selves as adults. I have a fear about bringing a monster into the world.


Go for it, it is important to do things for oneself  And why not? Go out and buy yourself the biggest (or maybe just normalsized) and sparkliest one you can find 

Oh, I see, so it was kind of blessing really, it all worked otu for the better then, that's nice  

I know, right? I had the biggest argument with the foreskin guy because he had a friendcouple who were splitting up and they had a 2-year old. I said they should try and fix it, maybe do couple counseling or whatever for the little ones sake. He thought it was better that they just split and refused to suggest or even talk to his friend about counseling. I got so mad at him. I really think you owe it to the child to work things out! So many forget about the childs needs when they break up. 

Well, this:" I don't want children being deprived of a good childhood because their parents don't have their shit together. Those early years are extremely important for their personal development. I want them to have a favourable upbringing so they have all they need to become their best selves as adults. I have a fear about bringing a monster into the world" - I couldn't have said it better myself. I totally agree with you on that. And also, I'm afraid of not loving it enough, of it having issues, of it feeling scared and confused and.. Also, I'm afraid to get a very extroverted child and me being introverted clasing 




Hexigoon said:


> I do like Danish biscuits~<3 Oh so this means you're from Denmark?
> Oh yes, what if I mixed caramel scented condoms with chocolate flavored lube...? Or would that be too much?


I don't know what danish biscuits are, is it those little butter cookies? Born and raised  Are you born and raised in the UK? Do you still live there? How do you feel about leaving the EU?
Maybe it would be too much? I think I'm a bit of a one-flavor-at-a-time kinda girl


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## Hexigoon (Mar 12, 2018)

Lovable said:


> Oh I thought is was ENFP being the shared NF? Hmm.. I could see myself run off with a ENFP, like the one who almost charmed my pants right of..
> 
> I think my friend ESTP helps me to be more in the now, which can be a challenge because I'm always planning ahead or in my head. And like you said, helps me get outside and do more "sporty" activities.
> 
> ...


Oh don't get me wrong, ENFPs are great, I love those guys too. Any NF could potentially work very well. I guess your INFP ex didn't unfortunately... but a more healthier one could.

Honestly I'm glad you understand so well. ^-^ Your friend does coding though? That's pretty cool, do you know what language(s) he codes in?
It's a shame to hear you went through any twisted relationships or losing one that felt like a best fit for you. I can empathize with that quite a bit though and it sucks. What type do you think this venomguy was?

 Wellllll, I did always like the artistic sorts. So I _suppose_ I'll allow you to keep drawing away~.Hahah
No problem though! Any time.



> Go for it, it is important to do things for oneself  And why not? Go out and buy yourself the biggest (or maybe just normalsized) and sparkliest one you can find
> 
> Oh, I see, so it was kind of blessing really, it all worked otu for the better then, that's nice
> 
> ...


😋 Ahaha you tempt me! A sparkly one? Wow, I quite like the sound of that, I don't know if I'd be able to handle something too big, I think I'd make it a little more discreet, but ironically sparkly, or just one that looks kinda.... artful. .

I suppose so anyway, because I wouldn't have got to be in a better relationship afterwards otherwise. Often the end of a relationship seems painful at first but if someone better comes along you do kinda feel relieved you had left it in retrospect.

See, I agree with you there though. They should try to fix it for the kid, assuming nothing abusive is going on and it's not dangerous.
I'd understand that, but if I was going to have kids with someone I'd want to make sure the partnership is pretty unbreakable. Which would take quite a lot of bonding and time to figure out, a lot of learning about them on a deep level.
I think people get into the habit of having kids too early into their relationship. They perhaps feel pressured to have them early. They don't take enough time to be absolutely sure this is the person they should have kids with and dedicate a good part of their life to.

I'm glad we do agree on this, I don't think you have to worry about the kid being too extraverted, though. Kids tend to take after their parents, and even so... you'd probably handle it better than you think you would based on what you're saying. Anyone who worries about these things has their heart in the right place and would make a great mother.




> I don't know what danish biscuits are, is it those little butter cookies? Born and raised  Are you born and raised in the UK? Do you still live there? How do you feel about leaving the EU?
> Maybe it would be too much? I think I'm a bit of a one-flavor-at-a-time kinda girl


Oh is that what you call them? Then yeah, these, I like them very much!









I've never really spoken with someone from Denmark before though (that I'm aware of), so that's interesting! Is it nice there?
Yep, I was born and still live in the UK (England specifically). But my dad's side of the family is Dutch so I do have some roots in my mainland Europe as well.
I'm definitely not in favour of leaving the EU. I don't see anything good coming from that since there hasn't been any better alternatives proposed that would make me think Britain would be in a better position.
What would you say about this situation?

Lol alright then I'll keep that in mind. I wouldn't want to be too overindulgent~.


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## Lovable (Apr 1, 2017)

Hexigoon said:


> Oh don't get me wrong, ENFPs are great, I love those guys too. Any NF could potentially work very well. I guess your INFP ex didn't unfortunately... but a more healthier one could.
> 
> Honestly I'm glad you understand so well. ^-^ Your friend does coding though? That's pretty cool, do you know what language(s) he codes in?
> It's a shame to hear you went through any twisted relationships or losing one that felt like a best fit for you. I can empathize with that quite a bit though and it sucks. What type do you think this venomguy was?
> ...


I'm not so sure. After I ended it (he is not my ex because we where never boyfriend/girlfriend because he didn't think we where "there" yet... jesus) I looked up his functions because the way he reated to me "breaking the news" told me he had a different reaction to the feeling thing then me. And I was correct, they have FI where we have FE. Also They are the mirror twin thing of the ESTJ, which is one of the types I have issues with (sorry if you read this and that is your type, I will try to like you anyway dear reader) So maybe I should stay clear of them? IDK.. I did have a INFP penpal that I had a crush on for a while, but I don't think he felt the same.

.NET and C#, we took the same class  He is a lot better then me though, lol, I think his T is really helping him.

You have to kiss a few frogs to find your prins they say  But thanks for your empathy. I think he was IXTJ maybe INTJ. Or maybe an unhealthy INFJ, IDK.. I did think about writing him and asking but I don't think his new wife would like us to have contact.

Well then, I just need a box of crayons and then I will get startet, any painting challenges that you wanna send my way? 



Hexigoon said:


> 😋 Ahaha you tempt me! A sparkly one? Wow, I quite like the sound of that, I don't know if I'd be able to handle something too big, I think I'd make it a little more compact. But sparkly, yes, or just one that looks kinda.... artful. .
> 
> I suppose so anyway, because I wouldn't of got to have a better relationship afterwards. Often the end of a relationship seems painful at first but if someone better comes along you do kinda feel relieved you had left it in retrospect.
> 
> ...


As sparkliest as it can get  go for it!

Oh that is true. Which is why I'm sure the universe will send me something great now, after the last one was kind of a dud.

THANK YOU, OMG, I had the biggest fight with the foreskin guy over this! He was like: nah, they should just split. I was infuriated at him. He said they just "grew" apart and they guy had to move for her and that didn't went so well. I still think therapy could have fixed this but..
Yes me too! I want a partner that stays, which seem like impossible to find.. I don't think it will happen overnight but like you say, take the time to really go deep and get to know their soul. O I agree, way to early. They also don't really seem to care about the fit that much. It's like: you are single, I'm single so therefore we should have a baby. I can't follow that logic at all.

I'm just so happy somebody agrees with me on this, since most people don't get me about this at all. And also fighting with the foreskin guy did make me question my values.

Thanks, that is nice to hear 




Hexigoon said:


> Oh is that what you call them? Then yeah, these, I like them very much!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Oh yeah those, those were exactly the ones I was thinking of  They are kind that old ladies always have. They are nice, but I can think of many things I would rather munch on, no offense 

Yes, I love my country. Our gornments way of handling the whole corona things has been amazing, and we have very few deaths and very few who has the virus. Also we bike a lot 
Oh nice, I've been to London a couple of times, really like the city.
I agree, more rules and tighter. Which also means more control and more expensive. I think it is sad, I also foresee that it will make traveling more annoying between EU countries and the UK. I really hoped they would change their mind, I still do :/


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## Skimt (May 24, 2020)

When I've only just met a blurry version of her behind Jeremy Clarkson via a video on YouTube, and she pretends like I'm not here. 










Like, hello, ghost me much.


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## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)

[/QUOTE]


Aarya said:


> Don't know about you, but I've met some people who were good at telling what I was trying to hide or was not saying, without me previously realizing I was hiding it because it was bothering me; and hearing it helped me understand what was going on with myself better, or made me like the person more. I like it when people try to understand you without words.


You did the right thing. You told me 'you didn't know about me'. x)



series0 said:


> I dearly LOVE it when they try to read my mind. But I detest with a passion barely bridled the woundedness that happens from their side when they guess WRONG and I tell them so.
> 
> If you are trying to read my mind, BE COMFORTABLE BOTH WITH YOUR FAILURE AND MY TELLING YOU YOU FAILED, because only getting it right is right (all the way).


Yes. Expect to be wrong more often than right.


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## Norsecat (Apr 11, 2012)

I'm an INTP with ADD
The feeling that I am never good enough and that I am the one that must change and improve.


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## islandlight (Aug 13, 2013)

Sorry to read that, @Norsecat.


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## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

pwowq said:


> Trying to read my mind. Seriously, just ask.


This. And then being upset with what I say after.


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## Wisteria (Apr 2, 2015)

indifference


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## JennahHaeley/Sanstread (Jul 25, 2020)

The partner becoming more addictive than I initially predicted. Its like you wanted a proper lake to dog walk your rubber ducks, instead of doing that in a yard pool. And then, what youre getting is not just an ocean, but more like the whole universe.

And when fame isnt there to kill. Nor hyper sexuality to suffocate. It actually is more in it being sort of less.


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## Meliodas (Nov 16, 2016)

Prudery / Humorlessless is perhaps the most unattractive trait to me, with Self-Righteousness a closely related second. Being able to make light out of a profoundly serious or embarrassing topic is one of the most attractive traits a person can possess. Moreover, being a highly sexual man, I find it difficult to relate to women who lack spontaneity and passively wait for me to make every move.


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## Bellerixx (Jun 3, 2020)

When they don't hold the "Trust"


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## Temple (Aug 18, 2020)

.


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## ImpossibleHunt (May 30, 2020)

I don't like possessiveness. 
To me, that is the number one killer in a relationship. If you don't allow me to be independent, I can't see us lasting long. 
But it goes both ways, I'll allow you to have your space if you grant me mine. It's the only way we will grow as individuals. 

Don't get me wrong, I've never been in a relationship, so maybe my view is skewed a bit. However, I have witnessed other relationships where some partners (this can occur with both men and woman) cannot survive without the other, and base their entire identities off of their relationship. My brother sometimes has friends who exhibit this behaviour, and it sets my teeth on edge whenever I see them. 
I really hope I don't sound too harsh, and I apologize if it is, but it looks pathetic. 

I need some time alone from time to time, and none of it is not personal. It's just how I clear my mind, and go about my day with a refreshed sense of drive.
To make matters worse, I'm also bad at reading messages and calling people regularly. I usually just get caught up in whatever I'm doing and I forget those obligations. That is entirely on me, but none of that is also intentionally personal.
If my partner is obsessive, that may hurt them more than it should. So if a partner shows signs of being possessive, I'll probably just end the relationship early. It would probably be best for both of us.


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## Phil (Dec 27, 2010)

My biggest thing is my efforts not being appreciated, or my intentions being misconstrued. Even if I mess something up, or made you feel bad, I really didn't mean to do that. I've only acted out of anger or had intent to hurt someone a few times in my life, and each and every time still plagues me to this day. These things are relationship enders for me, as they speak to what you think of me.


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## Bellerixx (Jun 3, 2020)

Sometimes I don't like when they giving false information xD. even though me, myself hold the REAL truth


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## Wisteria (Apr 2, 2015)

pwowq said:


>


[/QUOTE]


I feel personally attacked \o/


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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)

I dislike controlling people.


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## eeo (Aug 25, 2020)

When people need to walk on eggshells around them. Any kind of volatility is a huge turn off.


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## Ines (May 3, 2020)

Not being genuine. That's what I hate, nothing else!


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## impulsenine (Oct 18, 2020)

Lacking of at least one-two-three fields in which they are profoundly curious and passionate.
Not having a feminine voice that can "fuck my ears"...unable to give me shivers down my spine.
Inability to adopt different point of views.
Incapability + lack of initiative and/or creativity to open and mantain an endless conversation with me or getting bored a lot faster than me on some topics.
Secretly disliking or hating a part of what I do, am, say.
Doing things "for me" without developing a personal pleasure.
Not being open to different activities/seeking discomfort (not often though).
Being slow - I walk a lot and I am faster than 80% people I met.
Not being interested in at least a scientifical field.
Unable to act as a child, as a lady and as a bitch in different circumstances.

Oh wait, you said only one thing?
Fuck limits! I can think at least three at the same time, I won't start using my brain for just one, okay?


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## sheepysowner (Apr 26, 2020)

Talking slowly.


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## majogutierrez99 (Dec 14, 2020)

Logical Ambivert Feeler said:


> Not including obvious things like being abusive, cheating, manipulation, coersion etc in one word whats your biggest turnoff in a potential partner?
> Il start
> 
> Flakiness


I don't like someone who doesn't have goals.


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

With the disclaimer of OP--I guess, ignorance and probably lack of intelligence.

It's kind of hypocritical because I can't claim to be the most intelligent person, and there are also times in which I mistake my own ignorance for someone else's--like I just don't understand what they are saying and I assume they are saying something uneducated, but I'm just not listening well. Which I also find unattractive in a partner (when they do that to me--it's annoying).

I also don't care for people who are super assholes or who have no concern for others even if they are knowledgeable or seem intelligent--and I don't dislike people just because they are ignorant (in terms of lacking knowledge--not bigoted, because I do tend to dislike that in anyone.) I just find ignorance a turn off (or lack of interest in knowing more if one doesn't know--unless it's for a good reason, or more of an isolated incident, instead of a general trend in their personality.)

tldr:

* *





Example: Once I was telling a guy a little about a plant, like the ethnobotanical properties (or whatever, idk) and he heard the word "aphrodisiac" and tore the flower off the plant and pulled up his shirt and started rubbing the plant all over his chest.

I found it repulsive. Like instead of taking any interest in it, he just destroyed the very thing I was talking about.

Now if it had been ideal, he'd probably have known more about the plant and been able to contribute to the conversation, and he certainly wouldn't have assumed that I would want to have sex with him just because he rubbed a plant all over his chest.

I feel so bad but it brings out the worst in me. One time I accidentally called that guy "stupid" to his face, and I don't like insulting people--so I really do not need to be around someone who brings out the worst in me. His happy-go-lucky, laid-back personality would have been great for another type of person, but for me it drew out my critical nature and that's not very exciting to me. I don't like acting like a bitch, despite my natural proclivity.

I also feel guilty about this, because again--I know I'm not super intelligent. I just like being around intelligent people b/c I can learn more from them and they can help me refine my own understanding better.

I don't know if it's intelligence, as much as a willingness to learn or take an interest in topics that I find interesting. And having knowledge of things. It sucks though because if I don't have a good understanding of something (but they do), it's also difficult to have a conversation about it--though I enjoy listening (probably why I liked going to classes and listening to teacher lectures). I find it attractive and had a crush on a couple of my teachers in college.

It's still peripheral though--it's just something that seems to affect attraction for me, and brings out a worse side of me in relationships.

The silver lining, I guess, is that since I'm not super intelligent myself, it's easy to find people who are more intelligent or as intelligent. And almost everyone something they are interested in--so they are knowledgeable about...doesn't matter what their IQ is.

Though I think what I'm talking about is still more "knowledge" and not intelligence--because academics is pretty specific and I guess I find education attractive as well (again--kind of silly since I don't have a very high level of education). Maybe I just wish I got a higher level of education. lol

I think it's because of my lower level of education, and not being super-intelligent, that I covet these qualities.



I also am not much of an autodidact--I like the social interaction (even if it's just a professor lecturing) and it helps me to learn. I find it easier to learn things when they are filtered through another person than like reading dry info in a book. I think a lot of more intelligent people are more autodidactic, and I can't really relate to that. I find it easier to learn history from historical fiction than from reading a timeline of dates--the human and social element really helps.


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## Behnam Agahi (Oct 27, 2020)

The one thing that I hate in a partner is hating one thing in your partner. So you didn't pass I'm sorry 😂


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