# 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗪𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗩𝘀. 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗡𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗜𝗻 𝗔 𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽, 𝗕𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗢𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗠𝘆𝗲𝗿𝘀-𝗕𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗴𝘀[Poll]



## X10E8 (Apr 28, 2021)

*What You Want Vs. What You Need In A Relationship, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type*

thoughtcatalog

By *Lacey Ramburger*Updated October 21, 2020

Mikayla Herrick

*ENFP-Social commentator(Bard) *


*What you want:* Someone completely unpredictable and mysterious- who makes you feel like they’ll never really let you inside their head. Someone who keeps parts of themselves hidden and guarded so that when you are the one to discover them, you feel validated. Someone who makes themselves a challenge.

*What you need:* Someone who is spontaneous without being completely erratic. Someone who is supportive of your newest idea and will help you find ways to achieve it. Someone who lets you run wild with all your thoughts and dreams, but reminds you to check in with reality every once in awhile.

*ENFP character – Peter Parker/Spiderman*


*ENTP-The Inventor(Rogue) 







*

*What you want:* Someone who is endlessly patient so that you can test their limits. Someone who has an innocence to them that you’re intrigued by, and want to crack. Someone who is willing to run themselves ragged trying to keep up with you and all your adventurous ideas.

*What you need:* Someone who can’t be pushed by your tactics. Someone who is just as intellectually stimulating as you are, but who won’t stand for your games. Someone who is open-minded and ready to take on the world, not be dragged behind you as you try to do the same.

*ENTP character – Tony Stark/Ironman*


*INFP-Idealistic Artist(Mystic) *








*What you want:* Someone who matches the ideal romance you’ve envisioned in your mind. Someone who seems like they are holding onto a secret that you so desperately want to uncover. Someone who makes every single day feel like a fairytale.

*What you need:* Someone who pushes you to think outside of your comfort zone. Someone who is actually put together and is more than willing to let you have your moments with your head in the clouds, but who also reminds you to come back to Earth every once in a while. Someone who may not make life seem like a romantic comedy, but shows you how awesome life can be anyway, with all its mess and mistakes.

*INFP character – Wanda Maximoff/Scarlet Witch*

*INTP-Scientist(Ardent) 







*

*What you want:* Someone who relentlessly pursues you. Someone who manages to put in all of the effort so that you don’t have to. Someone who makes it a little too easy to stay aloof and in your own world.

*What you need:* Someone who actually makes you want to put in effort. Someone who makes the idea of spending time with them seem more appealing than spending all of it by yourself. Someone who matches your level of intellect yet pushes you outside of your comfort zone every now and again.

*INTP fictional character– Bruce Banner/The Hulk
real INTP Bill Gates/Albert Einstein*


*ESFJ-Event Planner(Cavaliers) *









*What you want:* Someone who allows you to “save” them. Someone who makes you feel constantly needed and valuable. Someone who doesn’t mind letting you organize their life and circumstances- because what better way to show you care than to do everything for them?

*What you need:* Someone who doesn’t need you, but honestly wants you. Someone who is also put together in their goals and dreams, but takes your hand and asks you to come along for the ride. Someone who reminds you to take care of yourself too.

*ESFJ – Ben Grimm/The Thing*


*ISFJ-Counsellor(Knight) *
















*What you want:* Someone who lets you idealize the relationship the moment you step foot into it. Someone who screams of so much potential that you can’t help but plan out your futures immediately. Someone who doesn’t exactly want to settle down or commit- but you want to be the one that changes their mind.

*What you need:* Someone who provides a balance for you. Someone who isn’t afraid to commit to you, even if they’re nervous about the idea of commitment. Someone who makes you feel like you’re both invested and both on the same page about things.

*ESTJ-Project manager(Judicator) *









*What you want:* Someone who is compliant with the things you want. Someone who doesn’t argue with you, and allows you to be the final word in the argument. Someone who allows you to always take the lead and never questions it.

*What you need:* Someone who isn’t afraid to dispute something you’ve said if it goes against their ideas or boundaries. Someone who is willing to support and care about your ambitions without letting you steamroll them. Someone who isn’t afraid to try and access that soft side of you that we all know exists and bring it out.

*ESTJ – Nick Fury*


*ISTJ-Social servant(Archivist) *


















*What you want:* Someone who everyone wants, but no one has been able to get. Someone who everyone in your life approves of and is socially acceptable to pretty much anyone they meet. Someone who finds themselves leaning on you because they are a bit scattered, and you’re the only who holds them together.

*What you need:* Someone who appreciates your stability, but doesn’t require it to function. Someone who pulls you out of your shell and causes you to experience life, while also understanding and appreciating your traditions and routines. Someone who makes you feel as if you can open yourself up to them without compromising who you are.

*ISTJ – Okoye*


*ENFJ-The Diplomat(Cleric) *

















*What you want:* Someone who allows you to constantly put in the effort, because you enjoy pouring yourself into people without requiring much in return. Someone who lets you take care of them. Someone who lets you be their superhero.

*What you need:* Someone who isn’t afraid to put in just as much effort as you do. Someone who is willing to open up to you without you have to pry it out of them. Someone who doesn’t allow you to keep the whole weight of the world on your shoulders while allowing you to shine in the areas you are best at.

*ENFJ – Charles Xavier/Professor X/Captain America*

*INFJ-Philospher(Paladin) Psychoanalysist*









*What you want:* Someone who claims to need you to figure out who they are. Someone who constantly feels distant so that you don’t get too attached- because no one can hurt you if you aren’t too invested. Someone who stirs up all of those intense emotions you are constantly processing every day of your life.

*What you need:* Someone who is your best friend. Someone who knows what it means to stay, even when things get messy or difficult. Someone who has seen all of your faults and cracks and still want to stand by your side at the end of it all.

*INFJ – Susan Storm/Invisible Woman*

*ESTP-The Persuader/Negotiator(Gladiator) *






















*What you want:* Someone who immediately devotes all their attention to you within seconds of meeting you. Someone who swoons over you when you pull stunts or try to show off. Someone who is consistently stroking your ego without you even having to try.

*What you need:* Someone who isn’t afraid to call you out on your erratic behavior. Someone who challenges you and implores what the underlying motive is for why you do what you do. Someone who isn’t afraid to see all the dark parts of your personality, and sticks around anyways. Someone who lets you run wild, but desires to be your safe place to come home to at the end of the day.

*ESTP character-Superman/Deadpool*

*ISTP-System analyst(Artificer) *








*What you want:* Someone who wants the same things you do- meaning something casual and easy to detach from. Someone who doesn’t smother you or try to be something more. Someone who is already in your circle of people and easy to connect with.

*What you need:* Someone who isn’t afraid to express themselves and their feelings to you, even at the risk of it overwhelming you initially. Someone who isn’t afraid to be honest and upfront about who they are- and causes you to actually want to know exactly who that is. Someone who knows when to give you your space- but who also knows when to give you love and devotion in the right amounts.

*ISTP character– Natasha Romanova Black Widow*

*ESFP-First responders(Dualist) *








*What you want:* Anyone who you have even the slightest attraction to. Someone who is face paced and is quick to jump from scene to scene, avoiding boredom at all costs. Someone who excites you and makes you feel something intense every minute of every day.

*What you need:* Someone who is patient enough to stick around when things get hard. Someone who is able to show you that being stable doesn’t mean being boring. Someone who makes you want to set aside all of the options your constantly shuffling through for even a little while.

*ESFP character-Thor*

*ISFP-Artist(Druid) *









*What you want:* Someone who gives you space. Like, a lot of space, so much so that it could be debated on whether you’re actually in a relationship at all. Someone who is perfectly fine letting you remain distant.

*What you need:* Someone who manages to break down the walls you’ve so meticulously put up. Someone who isn’t frustrated with you being passive, because they know how your mind works and the kind of person you are. Someone who supports your artistic side and is ready to stand by your side as you pursue them, while also putting you at ease about letting your guard down.

*ISFP character – Scott Lang/Ant-Man*

*ENTJ-Leadership Positions(Marshall) First responders*








*What you want:* Someone who is incredibly goal-oriented and matches you stride for stride. Someone who is just as assertive and sure of themselves as you are, because as far your concerned, no one will match up with you better than someone just like you

*What you need:* Someone who is modest, but still confident in their ideas and accomplishments. Someone who isn’t afraid to challenge you and the way you think. Someone who isn’t intimidated by you, but allows your dominance to encourage them in their own pursuits while causing you to want to be an even better version of yourself than you thought possible.

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗝-𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗔𝗱𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗿*(Ranger) *









*What you want:* Someone who argues with you. Someone you have a hard time figuring out because you don’t want to be bored or stagnant. Someone who lets you analyze them to a fault while you remain intensely guarded.

*What you need:* Someone who causes you to set aside logic for a moment and go with your feelings. Someone who is searching to better themselves and chase their goals, while encouraging you to do the same. Someone who isn’t afraid of breaking down your walls and helping you unlock parts of yourself you never even realized existed.

*INTJ character – Stephen Strange/Doctor Strange/Batman*


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## impulsenine (Oct 18, 2020)

I want what ESTP and ESFJ need, at the same time. 
What I need? Who knows . I think maybe someone who works with black magic.


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## The courier (Jan 31, 2021)

X10E8 said:


> *ISFP-Artist(Druid) *
> 
> *What you want:* Someone who gives you space. Like, a lot of space, so much so that it could be debated on whether you’re actually in a relationship at all. Someone who is perfectly fine letting you remain distant.
> 
> *What you need:* Someone who manages to break down the walls you’ve so meticulously put up. Someone who isn’t frustrated with you being passive, because they know how your mind works and the kind of person you are. Someone who supports your artistic side and is ready to stand by your side as you pursue them, while also putting you at ease about letting your guard down.


Wow I cannot believe you read me like a book.. This is so accurate for me.


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## Steelight (Mar 15, 2017)

As an INTJ, I strongly disagree about the "want" category. Then again, I don't considet myself the "typical" or "cookie cutter" INTJ (is any of us really a cookie cutter of our type?). What I WANT is someone who mostly leaves me alone while being in the same house with them. I don't need to spend much time with them, but it's nice in knowing someone's somewhat nearby while I'm playing SWTOR

The "need" category sounds mostly right though


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## Hexigoon (Mar 12, 2018)

> *What you want:* Someone who claims to need you to figure out who they are. Someone who constantly feels distant so that you don’t get too attached- because no one can hurt you if you aren’t too invested. Someone who stirs up all of those intense emotions you are constantly processing every day of your life.
> 
> *What you need:* Someone who is your best friend. Someone who knows what it means to stay, even when things get messy or difficult. Someone who has seen all of your faults and cracks and still want to stand by your side at the end of it all.


YES! 
Like what's also said in the INTJ one, I'd like someone who keeps me curious. 
Would also add I'd want someone who offers some physicality and takes me out into the world on occassion for fun, but that would probably fall under stirring up my emotions.


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## Electra (Oct 24, 2014)

No, I need someone who is loving, caring, doesn't cheat or make me jealous and confused where I stand. Who sees me as an individual and not just a brick in the wall, and will tell me with words that they love me regularly so I don't have to wonder if it stopped. I think.


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## odinthor (Mar 22, 2017)

As an INFJ:

The "what I want" is totally inaccurate. Like, _totally_.

The "what I need" is what I want.


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## 558663 (Aug 9, 2020)

I relate to many types listed above, though the INTJ section is true for me as well.
Initially, I thought that a relationship, if I were to get into one, would be strategic. I didn't want to be too attached or to open up. But I realized that I needed someone to break down my walls and to accept and love me wholeheartedly. I needed someone to encourage me to be the best version of myself while still doing the same for himself, and to assert my own power.


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## Hope:) (Jun 22, 2021)

Hexigoon said:


> YES!
> Like what's also said in the INTJ one, I'd like someone who keeps me curious.
> Would also add I'd want someone who offers some physicality and takes me out into the world on occassion for fun, but that would probably fall under stirring up my emotions.


I agree, & I'd also like someone who knows how to have fun & will take me on adventures.


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## Hope:) (Jun 22, 2021)

Steelight said:


> As an INTJ, I strongly disagree about the "want" category. Then again, I don't considet myself the "typical" or "cookie cutter" INTJ (is any of us really a cookie cutter of our type?). What I WANT is someone who mostly leaves me alone while being in the same house with them. I don't need to spend much time with them, but it's nice in knowing someone's somewhat nearby while I'm playing SWTOR
> 
> The "need" category sounds mostly right though


@Steelight So, as an INFJ female, how do I break down a male INTJ's walls? How do I help him unlock parts of himself that he doesn't even know exist? Lol that sounds like fun! I also like knowing someone is around, like in the same house, but is working on their own projects/responsibilities, while I work on mine (I need time alone to concentrate on my work).


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

X10E8 said:


> *What You Want Vs. What You Need In A Relationship, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type*
> 
> thoughtcatalog
> 
> ...


I want what I need, So I went with absolutely. I don't play games as much as I did when I was younger. ENTP:

*What you need:* Someone who can’t be pushed by your tactics. Someone who is just as intellectually stimulating as you are, but who won’t stand for your games. Someone who is open-minded and ready to take on the world, not be dragged behind you as you try to do the same.


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## Hope:) (Jun 22, 2021)

X10E8 said:


> *What you want:* Someone who claims to need you to figure out who they are. Someone who constantly feels distant so that you don’t get too attached- because no one can hurt you if you aren’t too invested. Someone who stirs up all of those intense emotions you are constantly processing every day of your life.
> 
> *What you need:* Someone who is your best friend. Someone who knows what it means to stay, even when things get messy or difficult. Someone who has seen all of your faults and cracks and still want to stand by your side at the end of it all.
> 
> *INFJ – Susan Storm/Invisible Woman*


As a female INFJ, I definitely agree with the needs part. Sigh.


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## DOGSOUP (Jan 29, 2016)

Want: mix of what ISFP and INTJ want but like neither of these will lead into a relationship
So need: probably what INTP needs


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## jetser (Jan 6, 2016)

ESTP checks out.


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## ENFPathetic (Apr 3, 2018)

This is surprisingly fucking accurate.


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## sibersonique (Jun 18, 2020)

X10E8 said:


> *What you want:* Someone who claims to need you to figure out who they are. Someone who constantly feels distant so that you don’t get too attached- because no one can hurt you if you aren’t too invested. Someone who stirs up all of those intense emotions you are constantly processing every day of your life.
> 
> *What you need:* Someone who is your best friend. Someone who knows what it means to stay, even when things get messy or difficult. Someone who has seen all of your faults and cracks and still want to stand by your side at the end of it all.
> *INFJ – Susan Storm/Invisible Woman*


Mine is, I guess, somewhat accurate. The "What you need" is spot on for me, but the "What you want" isn't what I want. I want the "What you need." I don't want anyone too needy or I'd feel trapped. And though I don't want to get hurt, I don't want anyone too distant or I'd feel alone in the relationship. What I really want is a healthy level of interdependence. Does anyone have that? What does it look like?


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## Ace Of Forests (Aug 22, 2021)

X10E8 said:


> *ENFJ-The Diplomat(Cleric) *
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Oh my god, I wish I would look this good bald 😫


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

I'm surprised--I relate more to ENFP and INFP than I expected, if I were to care about romance or relationships, which I do not. 

I also like Scarlet Witch but I didn't think she was an INFP--I assumed she was an FJ type. But I don't know much about her character, just saw WandaVision.

I also think most people need those things--someone who is supportive or cares about their dreams and ideas, and someone who makes life seem a little better.


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## Vanille (Jun 12, 2021)

I don't want or need anyone ~


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## Vivid Melody (Apr 25, 2011)

*[INFJ]
What you want: Someone who claims to need you to figure out who they are. Someone who constantly feels distant so that you don’t get too attached- because no one can hurt you if you aren’t too invested. Someone who stirs up all of those intense emotions you are constantly processing every day of your life.*

The want is inaccurate for me, though I do think someone who values my input/influence and feels like they actually _need_ it is a bit of a need for me. Otherwise, I feel like it kind of goes to waste. So, that would be more accurate to say. As for the second part about someone being constantly distant so that you don't get too attached, that sounds seriously unhealthy - like a desire born out of a great big wound. But regardless, hell no. I'm the Sx instinct first. I want to intensely merge with my partner on all levels. I'm not afraid of investing in someone so long as it's mutual, obviously. You shouldn't invest in someone who doesn't invest in you. That's just foolish. So the last part about stirring up intense emotions is accurate. I guess what I want can be summed up as -- someone who excites me and calms/stabilizes me at the same time (which is what I have). That being said, I guess that means I relate more to the ESFP and ESTP wants because they describe the intense Sx energy more so as I just mentioned. But I also resonate with the INFP want.

*What you need: Someone who is your best friend. Someone who knows what it means to stay, even when things get messy or difficult. Someone who has seen all of your faults and cracks and still want to stand by your side at the end of it all.*

Yeah, that's accurate, and I'm blessed enough to have this all in the same person too. He's a gem. But yeah, who _doesn't_ want to end up with their best friend?


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