# Why should I not kill myself?



## edwin the teddy bear (Sep 3, 2012)

I feel like cutting myself for no reason in particular and I keep imagining ways to die. Is this necessarily serious and why should I not do this.


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## TrialByFire (Sep 17, 2012)

To be blunt (its the only way i know how to be) its ridiculous for you to ask ppl why you shouldnt kill yourself, thats something YOU have to decide for yourself. I will however say that suicide is a horribly selfish act and you'll be hurting all those who care about you in the process, whatever problems you have can only be solved by YOURSELF and not but what anyone else.


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## edwin the teddy bear (Sep 3, 2012)

Also I am I terrible person and I don't want to explain why and so basically the world would be better off without me overall although I think I would affect people like my family in a negative way.


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## questforself (Sep 6, 2012)

I think what you're describing is not healthy. I read your posts on the stream of consciousness thread and you did mention that you probably wouldn't kill yourself because you know it would affect other people. I think that's one reason you shouldn't do this and you seem to already know that. I can't pretend that I know what you're going through right now but for one thing I think it's very alarming that you're saying these things. Did you know that the mere act of physically smiling can spark brain chemicals that make you feel better? You did mention your depressions so that might hinder that but I don't know to what extent your depression is. All I know is from what you told me, I think it would be best for you to seek some help, at the least someone willing to listen that you can talk to. That can help you sort out thoughts and maybe you can see that things are really not so bad. I'd recommend that you don't completely go cold turkey on your medication. I'm not a doctor so you might want to talk to you doctor about that. Please get help and get better.


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## edwin the teddy bear (Sep 3, 2012)

Thanks it won't let me thank people. Is it selfish to cut yourself? Also why is suicide selfish?


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## questforself (Sep 6, 2012)

august123 said:


> Also I am I terrible person and I don't want to explain why and so basically the world would be better off without me overall although I think I would affect people like my family in a negative way.


Whatever you did that you think is so bad is a thing of the past because it is already done but that doesn't mean you can't do good in the future. Suicide is selfish because you're preventing yourself from doing good things for other people in the future.


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

You shouldn't kill yourself because things will get better if you don't.

Right now, maybe suicide or hurting yourself is the only path you see, but that is only because your vision is obscured. Eventually, some stars will come out with the moon, and you'll realize that you have many other options around you that will ease your suffering and make you excited about living.

I think most people that consider suicide do so when they feel pain or shame that seems unbearable, and the only escape they can think of is to end it. 

But like I said before, being suicidal is like being in a dark closet and unable to find the door. It would be silly to assume that there are no doors just because you cannot see them at the moment--so just hold tight and try to find other solutions, such as seeing a doctor.

Edit: Or you could journal or draw a picture. Read a book. And I agree don't listen to the negative posts on here. And calling the suicide hotline is a good idea.

And, it's not exactly like being trapped in a closet because a closet isn't that hard to get out of, usually. But what you are experiencing is hard--but you will find other solutions than suicide.


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## Lawless Land (Jul 10, 2012)

Suicide is seen as selfish because everyone has someone who loves and cares about them, it hurts everyone when you leave them. the person who commits suicide doesn't have to deal with the pain of losing someone. Its almost as if you choose to hurt everyone who cares about you by committing suicide.


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## PlacentaCake (Jun 14, 2012)

You seem agitated. I would call the suicide hotline now. Are you in the U.S.? 1-800-273-8255 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Otherwise just google suicide hotline. They will help you problem solve and you can find an anonymous person to talk to. I'd call them first since they take a while to call back.

Things you can do in the mean time:

-call a friend or family member (if you have the courage to tell us, then get the courage to tell them, being honest is the first step)
-take a hot shower
-hold an ice cube in your hand until it melts
-run until you are out of breath
-scream (into a pillow, so the neighbors don't worry and call the cops)
-break dishes (seriously, it is better than killing yourself)
-ask yourself, "how can I work with this situation?" instead of thinking that everything is hopeless.
-snap a rubber band or hair tie on your wrist

You are not alone. Mental illness is not selfish. Don't listen to the negative responses on this thread, they are people who don't understand about chemical imbalances and instabilities due to life circumstances, which you clearly seem to have. I am sorry you are having these feelings. I know it is hard. I am here for you in spirit. Keep your head up my friend. <3


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## RedDeath9 (Apr 22, 2010)

august123 said:


> Also I am I terrible person and I don't want to explain why and so basically the world would be better off without me overall although I think I would affect people like my family in a negative way.


So you're going to kill yourself, rather than try to improve yourself? Killing yourself won't change much. Your family will feel devastated, confused, hopeless, empty, etc. etc. Your friends will feel much the same way. And as for the others, they don't really matter in the first place.

I don't know why you're feeling this way, but things can get better. It requires a lot of effort, on your part, but it's possible. If you've made mistakes, forgive yourself for them and aspire to change, to be a better person. In the meanwhile, spend some time with those you care about and those who care about you. Talk to people. Even talking to us can help.

And, for the answer to your thread title, I present you a quote from Tyrion Lannister: "Death is so final. Whereas life - ah, life is so full of possibilities." If your situation can improve, life is always preferable to death.


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## The Nth Doctor (May 18, 2012)

Please get help from someone. Things can get better, and you can feel better. If you continue living, you can help yourself and conditions can improve. If you don't, you cut off all of your future possibilities and hurt the people who love you.

Click this.


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

RedDeath9 said:


> So you're going to kill yourself, rather than try to improve yourself? Killing yourself won't change much. Your family will feel devastated, confused, hopeless, empty, etc. etc. Your friends will feel much the same way. And as for the others, they don't really matter in the first place.
> 
> I don't know why you're feeling this way, but things can get better. It requires a lot of effort, on your part, but it's possible. If you've made mistakes, forgive yourself for them and aspire to change, to be a better person. In the meanwhile, spend some time with those you care about and those who care about you. Talk to people. Even talking to us can help.
> 
> And, for the answer to your thread title, I present you a quote from Tyrion Lannister: "Death is so final. Whereas life - ah, life is so full of possibilities." If your situation can improve, life is always preferable to death.


Love the avatar, man.


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## Helios (May 30, 2012)

You might want to think twice about it I guess. Once you attempt you either die or cause severe and irreparable damage to yourself.


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## Thomas60 (Aug 7, 2011)

Always bothered me somewhat that people instinctively call suicide a detestable act. That propagated thought also come off with a tint of religious fervor or as a threat of resentment to scare people away from it. 

That being said, reasoning is a tool of our desire, which is a tool of our identity. Strip away someone from the thought patterns and physical proximity to sources of positive reinforcement and evidence of the impact they can make may at first give most people a hard knock to such a state where there is little belief that they can change that situation without destroying apart of their old-self.

Cure: Either through sheer will, or communicating to others so they can help change which environment your in to a better fit, or that you embrace a change in yourself.


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

Thomas60 said:


> Always bothered me somewhat that people instinctively call suicide a detestable act. That propagated thought also come off with a tint of religious fervor or as a threat of resentment to scare people away from it.


You have a problem that society tries to scare away the idea of suicide?


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## Perhaps (Aug 20, 2011)

So you can see the outcome of this thread, of course.


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## PlacentaCake (Jun 14, 2012)

"*Suicidal Urges*

GIFTS
Certainty ~ Resolve ~ Liberty ~ Transformation ~ Rebirth

THE INTERNAL QUESTIONS 
What idea or behavior must end now? What can no longer be tolerated in my soul?

OF OBSTRUCTION 
Bleak, agonizing feelings that threaten your physical life instead of offering transformation and reawakening​
The pain and isolation you’re feeling is real and valid, and this is a very serious situation, but you’re not alone in any of it... This is where the rapids surge and roil with roaring intensity. In the territory of the suicidal urge, there is a great deal of obvious peril, but just as it is with every other rapids-level emotion, there is also an identical amount of healing power and radiant wisdom. Everything inside you has curative as well as destructive attributes. Each sorrow, joy, triumph, catastrophe, fear, or shame has its place in your wholeness. Each can move you toward enlightenment, just as each can throw you into desperate turmoil. Every part of you is a double-edged sword that can protect and heal you, or slice you to bits; suicidal urges are no exception...

Suicidal urges are an emergency message from lost parts of your psyche—parts that are in real danger of soul death in your current situation. Suicidal urges surge forward, sword in hand, shouting, “Give me liberty or give me death!” They are that serious about the issues they have come to address. However, your suicidal urges do not want to kill you! What they want is liberty from the life you’re living, but they certainly don’t want your physical life to end...

Suicidal urges aren’t literal death-wishes; they are actually the last resort of a soul in torment. They arise when your brain chemistry or your untreated sleep disorders have thoroughly destabilized you. Suicidal urges arise after your fears have been overwhelmed, and you’ve fallen into one endangering situation after another; after your angers have been crushed and your boundaries have been trampled; after you’ve been separated from your sadness and your grief and have fallen into unrelenting despair; and after your shame has become so besieged that you’re no longer capable of moderating your own behavior. Suicidal urges arise after severe traumas have thrown you back and forth between the first two stages of traumatic initiation so many times that you’ve become exhausted by loss; after years of dissociation, avoidance, and addiction; and after shocks so profound that you can barely remember what normal life feels like. Suicidal urges come forward with all their intensity and all their ferocity when your situation is so unbearable that you require an intense infusion of energy, but they do not come to kill you. Your suicidal urges arise when you need enough energy to wrench yourself bodily, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually out of a situation that is killing you already. Suicidal urges are your last defense, which is why they carry such intensity."


McLaren, Karla (2010-06-01). The Language of Emotions (excerpts from pp. 345-348). Sounds True. Kindle Edition. 


National Suicide Prevention Lifeline


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## Moya (May 22, 2012)

I have a problem with people calling suicide selfish. It's not "selfish", when you're at that level a lot of people will actually feel the world is better off without them.

That being said, it's not the right choice. If you can just find the strength in yourself to stick it out, it will get better. When you're that low, there's nowhere you can go but up, right? I've been very, very low too. And I can guarantee to the OP and to anyone else consider suicide, it DOES get better. Sometimes life gives you shitty cards, but you're never stuck with them forever. You can overcome it and once you do, you'll be _so _glad you did.

Self-harm is not recommended, either. If you ever feel like you want to hurt yourself in any way, my advice would be to reach out to someone you know you can trust. If you don't feel like you have anyone, well, there's forums and hotlines and tons of people you can go to, people who have gone through it. I think music is supposed to help a lot, too, if you're a musical person. Turning on your favorite song or your favorite artist does wonders.

Hope I helped in some way here.


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## Thomas60 (Aug 7, 2011)

Crono91 said:


> You have a problem that society tries to scare away the idea of suicide?


Not at all. I think a combination people who vocally detest the act and those who don't express their accusing judgement works best... one as a deterent, the other as a safe person to spill ones own weaknesses too.


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## Library_Cat (Apr 5, 2012)

august123 said:


> I feel like cutting myself for no reason in particular and I keep imagining ways to die. Is this necessarily serious and why should I not do this.


It's not necessarily serious, but if you've been experiencing this depression for an extended period of time, you should probably talk to someone you trust about it. 

I know what it's like to be depressed. There have been days when the only thing that kept me alive was my fear that if I did attempt suicide, it would not be a successful attempt, and that I would be left with a scarred or crippled body, or even worse, with a damaged brain/crippled mind. There is no 100 percent guaranteed way to die, and the risk is too great. Even if you don't think you should stay alive for other peoples' sake, you should probably look out for your own sake.

Depression is not fun, and I'm sorry you're experiencing this. I know you can find another way to deal with your problems, though. Find some emotional outlets, like listening to or playing music. Show yourself that you are worth something by being alive, by doing little nice things for the people around yourself.

Good luck! If you need to vent about anything, feel free to send me a message.


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## unINFalliPle (Jul 8, 2012)

Because you've been given life. It's natural to follow through. If you were a fighting a disease, the will to live would be stronger. It is a battle. The body fights to stay alive in such a condition. You were built in such a way as to see, smell, listen, touch. Take advantage of it all. You are alive.


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## RedDeath9 (Apr 22, 2010)

Crono91 said:


> Love the avatar, man.


IS THIS REALLY THE APPROPRIATE PLACE?! GODDAMN IT MAN. Haha. You too, though. Chrono Trigger is awesome.

*august123, *just reminding you, if you need anyone to talk to, and can't find anyone, we are always here. Just throw me a message if you want to talk.


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## edwin the teddy bear (Sep 3, 2012)

Thank you! This is all extremely helpful and I don't think I am going to kill myself but It was going through my head and its scary because I have come close in the past. Im not going to get that close again.


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## RedDeath9 (Apr 22, 2010)

august123 said:


> Thank you! This is all extremely helpful and I don't think I am going to kill myself but It was going through my head and its scary because I have come close in the past. Im not going to get that close again.


I'm very glad.


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## LexiFlame (Aug 9, 2012)

Hey I've been there before, and I know it's an awful place to be when you're hurting so much emotionally that you try to to find relief in physical pain. But suicide is never the answer, because you really do hurt everyone around you, as well as yourself. I'm not saying your selfish for thinking of it, you have a right to find happiness and relief just as much as anyone else does. But you won't find that in suicide or harming yourself. Please don't do that to yourself. Even if no one around you does, I care about what happens to you. If you feel like talking to someone, I'm here, let's talk.


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

In all honesty, your "will to live" is only as strong as the influence that affects the will. You need to find something to fight for--something to wake you up from this overshadow of clouds that blind your eyes from what life has to offer. Get up and get out there and don't be afraid to laugh at your pain while embracing the wound. Every action builds you up to endure the next, so don't live with regret nor fear. Keep your left eye closed to darkness while your right is open to light; and be ready to hold your head up. Words are only as powerful as the weight you give them--so give your words the utmost worth. 

But as of now, you need to keep yourself busy. "The devil makes quick work with idle hands." Get yourself a hobby or something to care for. And finally, don't let relationships define you, yet let them build you.


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## SunFlower27 (Sep 29, 2012)

Are you sure you're a bad person? A lot of people think so who aren't, and that's actually their worst sin. What did you do that makes you think you're a bad person? How do you expect us to know if you won't say? It almost sounds like you're asking for unconditional absolution from us--by sort of manipulating us into reassuring you that you're a good person no matter what so you won't kill yourself--and nobody can really give you that no matter what they say. So I'm not sure what it is you're actually after here.


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## JoanCrawford (Sep 27, 2012)

What the fuck? *grabs neck, holds against wall* NOW YOU LISTEN, HONEY, NOBODY WILL BE KILLING THEMSELVES WHILE JOAN IS ON THESE FORUMS. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR? >:-(


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

august123 said:


> I feel like cutting myself for no reason in particular and I keep imagining ways to die. Is this necessarily serious and why should I not do this.


I tried it. Almost succeeded too. Glad I failed. I got a second chance to find out what comes next. All you need is one happy thought.


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## chip (Oct 12, 2011)

Just because you feel like you want to kill yourself doesn't mean that you do. You only want your pain to end, which ever kind of pain you feel. Suicide is selfish because you only think about yourself when you do it, assuming you're doing it to help others which is a delusion. When it comes down to it, you will be doing it for yourself. 

Cutting means that you want your pain to go away so you distract yourself with physical pain. Instead, try using rubber bands for now until you ween off cutting and can feel better. 

You only see one pathway at the moment because your perception is a bit skewed. You need to change your outlook slowly and don't beat yourself up over it if you fail. 

You need self compassion. You are an imperfect human being, and so am I, and so is everyone else. That is what makes you beautiful and strength definitely comes from weakness. Have more compassion for yourself and fuck what other people might think of you. They don't see how beautiful your mind is obviously. Don't assume people feel hatred toward you. Even if you feel like it's fake, think of them as jealous of your talents or something about you that they want to posses. 

The rich man feels disgust for the poor man because he is jealous. He is jealous because he knows through his sheltered life he would never be that strong, he feels a threat from the homeless man. 

Question everyone's motivations and come to a rational conclusion and a positive outcome for yourself, and that is if you are still worried about how others feel/think of you.


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## Plaxico (Dec 11, 2010)

That's actually one of the, if not most, common reasons for suicide, the rationalization that the world, one's family, friends, etc would be better off without the person. I don't know what your situation is, but I don't see how the world would be better off without you. You've implied that your family would care very much about you. Suicide is permanent, if you're struggling with problems, know that problems can be fixed over time, or reframed in a new light. Sometimes what we think are a big deal end up being not so bad after a while. Not trying to minimize what you're going through, just saying that when one is depressed / suicidal, you get trapped in your own mind, your own way of thinking and its like you can't get out but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. To those who say suicide is selfish when one is depressed / suicidal its actually a survival instinct for one to be focusing on oneself, many people who say that have never been in that situation. It will require courage, but remember there are many people who are willing to help, some who've had own share of struggles. I know sometimes it can seem like the world is really ugly or perhaps you're mad at yourself but there are plenty of caring and supportive people in the world. Make sure you're able to get a clear thinking because committing the act is irreversible. Life situations can absolutely be reversed, whether its changing the situation or reframing it. But as you overcome each challenge you will get stronger. I can't say that life gets easier as you go but as a person you will become tougher, stronger, as long as you have the courage to continue.


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## Michael Nihil (Sep 21, 2012)

august123 said:


> I feel like cutting myself for no reason in particular and I keep imagining ways to die. Is this necessarily serious and why should I not do this.


There will always be reasons to kill yourself and there will always be reasons to not kill yourself. If you're not dying of a terminal illness, then I suggest that you reassess your situation because I'm sure you'll find a few considerable reasons not to end your life.


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## Konigsberg (May 10, 2012)

Not sure if killing yourself is selfish. I can't imagine someone about to jump off a bridge when suddenly somebody shouts "_You selfish bastard!!_" and then suicidal guy goes "omg you're right, that's selfish. Forgive me, lemme just get down from here and let's have dinner"

Like, no.

But I do find it illogical.

I read two days ago that a paperback writer interviewed survivors from jumping-off-bridges-suicide-attempts. In the interview, they all said that seconds after jumping they realized that-

Every single one of their problems were solvable.

They all said it.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

It doesn't matter if you're religious or not, there's no absolute certainty there's something beyond this life we have right now.

Personally, I believe there's nothing

And that just makes me want to live my one life harder, and better. The one shot I've got. I might not have the comfortable belief of a heaven, but I have the determination to accomplish all of the great goals I want. Or at least try, damn it. 

Because I won't have the chance to do it after. 

"Hey remember the guy who gave up?
...No?
Nobody else does either."

Just mah opinion


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

I have a problem with calling suicide selfish because, in my experience, people who are considering suicide already feel a great deal of shame, and calling them selfish doesn't really help.

I mean--really? I don't get where this suicide is selfish idea came from. It's just as selfish as all the other stupid crap we do--and even most of the "smart" crap. Guess what--becoming a millionaire is selfish too--so is taking a bath.

Yes--you do have loved ones who care about you, who would be hurt by suicide. I don't see how that's selfish. It's your life--and personally, I doubt the most selfish people in the world would EVER consider suicide. A lot of the worst people (IMO) have tons of self preservation skills--it's those who are more concerned with their ability to measure up, their ability to give and accomplish, and be of service to the world, that consider suicide. It has nothing to do with being selfish.

I'm glad you're not going to commit suicide. Maybe you're beginning the long and arduous path of figuring out what you need to be doing with yourself. I bet you can come up with some great ideas.


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## PhatVince (Sep 26, 2012)

"Suicide is giving up. It's quitting on yourself and on life. It is a mistake done of ignorance and a lack of seeing another way. You can call suicide many, many things: delusional, thoughtless, inconsiderate. But selfish? No, I just don't see it that way. Someone who was selfish would put their needs first. When I felt depressed and suicidal, I was putting my misery, my pain first. It did not feel selfish. It was more of a sense of punishment, of martyrdom. I thought the people around me would be better without me, and I thought I was bringing everyone else down with me. 

Take care of yourself first. Be SELFISH. Then you can help others. I can't be sick enough; I can't be poor enough; I can't be sad enough to help you. I have to raise myself up first before I can help anyone else in the world. You can't share love without first feeling love for yourself."


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## BooksandButterflies (Jul 26, 2012)

*I'm going to speak from personal experience here: In 2002, my uncle took his own life. And the grief we felt was horrible. We felt guilty. We were left with questions and anger. And my poor grandparents!*:crying:
*Don't do it! There are people who care! Get help-there's no cure for death, you can't take it back. And people around you will never get over it. *


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## Planisphere (Apr 24, 2012)

"View all problems as challenges.
Look upon negativities that arise as opportunities to learn and to grow.
Don't run from them, condemn yourself, or bury your burden in saintly silence. 
You have a problem? Great. 
More grist for the mill. Rejoice, dive in, and investigate." - Bhante Henepola Gunaratana


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## chip (Oct 12, 2011)

Michael Nihil said:


> There will always be reasons to kill yourself and there will always be reasons to not kill yourself. If you're not dying of a terminal illness, then I suggest that you reassess your situation because I'm sure you'll find a few considerable reasons not to end your life.


I don't think a person with a terminal illness should kill themselves, either.


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## chip (Oct 12, 2011)

meltedsorbet said:


> I have a problem with calling suicide selfish because, in my experience, people who are considering suicide already feel a great deal of shame, and calling them selfish doesn't really help.
> 
> I mean--really? I don't get where this suicide is selfish idea came from. It's just as selfish as all the other stupid crap we do--and even most of the "smart" crap. Guess what--becoming a millionaire is selfish too--so is taking a bath.
> 
> ...


It is the highest form of selfishness.


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## Michael Nihil (Sep 21, 2012)

chip said:


> I don't think a person with a terminal illness should kill themselves, either.


So if they're in chronic pain, with no chance of possible recovery, they shouldn't have a choice of whether to end their existence of suffering?


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