# Confessions of a Teenage Hedgehog



## de l'eau salée (Nov 10, 2008)

Hello, so, first off, take out the image of what you see me as out of your head. Replace it with a hedgehog: small, docile, and conflicted.








Awww! Cute, huh?! 

Now that you have done that, I am going to give you a situation. Try to imagine this entire situation in your head as vividly and realistically as possible…

My name is Silhouetri and I am a misunderstood little hedgehog living in an endlessly vast world. Since I feel so helpless and weak to the rest of the world, I have developed a “trustworthy” defense mechanism: curling up in a ball. What are the intentions of this ball-curling method of mine? To protect myself by withdrawal and veiling of my vulnerabilities. 
Unfortunately, there is one unfortunate fact: when I curl up into a ball, I become not just a ball of fluff, but a ball of painful, quill-laced fluff. Now, in an ideal world, this wouldn’t pose a problem, but…this isn’t an ideal world. This is a world where there are empathetic hands surrounding me, reaching out with the intentions of clasping me and transferring their warmy-warmth into my cold insides. 
Sounds nice, right? Well, it’s not…you know what happens when those empathetic hands attempt to “lend a hand” to me? They get poked, and the poison in my quills darts straight for the heart. It hurts them, I get to observe it every time. 
After all of this, you’d think I’m a sadist, huh? No, I’m not, and if I am, I’m not yet aware of it. I’m not a sadist, I’m an introvert. Unfortunately, my introverted-ness seems to cause harm to people; it seems like after countless attempts at clasping me, they’d learn that the quills won’t go away, but no, that’s unfortunately not the case. It’s my job to inform them not to go against the grain; there is a fluffy and painless approach and there is a spiky and painful approach. The only approach that has been used on me thus far is the spiky and painful approach.
After this seemingly ritualistic act, I, the isolation-craving hedgehog then assumes responsibility for the whole situation: for my quills being there, for them touching my quills, and for my quills hurting. Emotions are a powerful thing, especially to a guilt-prone hedgehog like me. The roles suddenly switch: I am the sympathier and they are the sympathee. It is something I have learned to live with, and in the moment, I don’t have an ounce of a problem with. The guilt conquers me and the inner sympathier inside of me reigns victorious.

…Maybe it_ is _my fault. Maybe I should duct-tape a sign on my back that states, “Warning! go _with_ the quills, not _against _them!” so there will be no future accidents. I guess I shouldn’t expect others to research the basic functioning of a sheepish hedgehog beforehandling. I _do_ really _love_ those empathetic hands, but when they reach out for me while I’m in ball-form, it never seems to end well. I wish all of this would end; I hate unintentionally hurting people. 
I think, no, I _know_ I need a new defensive tactic, but what…?


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## Solace (Jan 12, 2010)

Forgive me, but was this oration on the Hedgehog's Dilemma entirely rhetorical or did you want an answer?


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## de l'eau salée (Nov 10, 2008)

Well, my question was in the last sentence...I'll reword it: how can I avoid unintentionally hurting others?

Edit: Hehe, that's funny! A Wiki article on it!


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## Tophat182 (Feb 16, 2010)

Awwwww I will take the chance of getting poked to hug you, hedgehogs are soooo cute. Why do people get hurt when they try to help?


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## Solace (Jan 12, 2010)

de l'eau salée said:


> Well, my question was in the last sentence...I'll reword it: how can I avoid unintentionally hurting others?
> 
> Edit: Hehe, that's funny! A Wiki article on it!


Ah, so it wasn't rhetorical? There were so many questions I wasn't sure if it was a rhetorical essay or if you legitimately wanted one or more answers. It's a classical psychological problem, but the way you've worded your question makes it more interesting.

The simple answer is you can't _always_ avoid hurting someone. The best that we as a people, and you as an individual, can do is to be understanding and open-minded in the truest sense of the word and do your best not to hurt someone. That doesn't mean that you have to be someone different than you are, but incorporate the principles of understanding into your life and lead the life you want to live (hopefully a good one) without worrying about what other people thing. If we all try to be understanding of each other, things can't go wrong.

It's that self-doubt and fear of being misunderstood that i the root of many problems and by getting over those - without truly compromising your individuality or character - one will be able to be a better person.

I'm sure others have more to add. I'm too tired to write more.


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## murderegina (Jan 7, 2010)

This is the CUTEST thing ever. I think if you're unintentionally hurting others than you need to explain this to the people you're hurting that you don't do this purposely. It's easy to get caught up in your defense mechanisms, but you need to remember not everyone is going to hurt the little hedgehog. Realize, you're capable of having good judgement (you're an INFP after all, you can sniff out the evil!)


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## WickedQueen (Jun 1, 2009)

Try to make clear boundaries to warn people. Learn how to teach it to the love ones so they will understand what did you expected them to do when you are a curve ball or whatever.

When I'm angry and my friends trying to calm me down (which I hate), I learn to give them a killer stare to warn them, instead of blowing off and yelling at them like I used to do in the past. And I also learn how to use short but effective words, like "go away", "shut up", "leave me alone", and "stay out of this", instead of using long insulting sentences.

And of course, I stay away from people, so I won't hurt anyone or get disturbed by the love ones when I'm angry.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

It's fascinating that I have been experiencing really intense levels of synchronicity involving hedgehogs over the past few days. 

Hans My Hedgehog
I had just found this, from my childhood, and had gotten into a conversation with a friend about an old pet hedgehog I had in college, and had found the dog's chewed-up stuffed squeaky hedgehog, and had talked to some INTPs about how the hedgehog dilemma related to my relationship conflicts. 

Fascinating. Now you are part of my disaster. Welcome to the implosion. *hugs* At least you aren't alone.


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