# I can't trust anyone



## Larxene (Nov 24, 2011)

Azure Bass said:


> I want to believe that my parents meant well in their actions. They try very hard to do what they can but over the past decade or so it's almost like they gave up on their own values. I want to believe that my parents wanted the best for me, even though their actions say very far otherwise. I'm naive in that sense.


The fact is they do not have your best interests in mind now. So now, you have to devise an alternative strategy. Don't make decisions based on delusions.



Azure Bass said:


> Yet when I turn to my immediate family I'm greeted by dogma and unwanted criticism as to what to do next instead of any care for my emotional welfare or stability.





Azure Bass said:


> I _want_ to trust people but I also see myself that it isn't realistic after being betrayed by my own family and some of my friends without anyone even realizing the extent of their actions because of a lack of a moral standard that actually accounts for everyone as a whole.


A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still. 

It is difficult to change people. You have three solutions. You either appeal to them in a way that resonates with their values, or you avoid them.



Azure Bass said:


> It doesn't feel right that I can just leave my family behind and do what I have to do. It isn't whole for me and if I leave them behind then I give up on part of myself.


Would you also not lose a part of yourself if you get beat down by the atrocities your family subject you to?


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## Azure Bass (Sep 6, 2010)

Larxene said:


> The fact is they do not have your best interests in mind now. So now, you have to devise an alternative strategy. Don't make decisions based on delusions.


Yeah..This isn't a fairy tale.



> A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still.
> 
> It is difficult to change people. You have three solutions. You either appeal to them in a way that resonates with their values, or you avoid them.


I'm not appealing to them about my emotional welfare. I told every one of them about me being depressed and the end result led to this.



> Would you also not lose a part of yourself if you get beat down by the atrocities your family subject you to?


..You're right. That makes this come full circle. Synergy is not an option any more, this isn't a fairy tale. Compromise is the way to go..My family is still behind me in understanding this. As long as they decide to talk to each other and use whatever resources they have to manipulate my surroundings instead of talking directly to me they always will be behind.

Thank you for your input.


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## Larxene (Nov 24, 2011)

You're welcome. :happy:

"I'm not appealing to them about my emotional welfare. I told every one of them about me being depressed and the end result led to this."

Honesty isn't always the best policy.


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## Azure Bass (Sep 6, 2010)

Larxene said:


> Honesty isn't always the best policy.


Yeah..Now I get to reconstruct my moral code. Better now than after another loss.


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## Otawan (May 21, 2012)

You really sound like someone I used to know, from what I can tell the both of you are in a very similar situation. 

My advice would be to first try to leave your household, move in with a friend who can respect your emotional and social needs or move out on your own but start working on closer friendships, and then start working from there. Leaving abusive situations is really, really difficult, especially when you still want to trust and care for those who are hurting and misunderstanding you. It sounds like you should do it though. If you're in a healthier and more stable atmosphere and environment, you can start building up trust with people who deserve it. It's a slow process even when you get there, but I don't know...You deserve to be happy and healthy, with people in your life who care about you and understand you.

I'm sorry if this was at all inappropriately over emotional, annoying, or unhelpful. I've had a lot of personal experiences in similar situations, and have as stated before known someone, and cared deeply for someone who you really sound like. I have no intention of being offensive, or telling you what to do with your life, this is just my advice. Sorry it's so sappy.


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## Mendi the ISFJ (Jul 28, 2011)

Azure Bass said:


> In my personal life. Everyone wants to protect their silly little reputation. I told my father I feel depressed and he sat there and insulted me. My brother thinks I should clean my room and that will take all of the problems away between us when I've been feeling this way most of my life. My father says that he can't read my mind when he or anyone else could have picked up on this from my excessive sleeping, withdrawal, bad grades and lack of obedience since I started grade school. This is my third year in college.
> 
> But no, he took it as an insult to his own authority and decided to discipline me instead by introducing domestic violence once we had our own house. So I'm stuck here with no one truly understanding me and a whole lot of hurt that I can't even communicate because he thinks he's justified when my own parent stopped caring about what's right and started doing what he wants instead of giving it the attention it needed when he had the chance to stop it. What should I do? I'm stuck in his house while my bro and my mother are both in a different state while I attend school here.
> 
> He thinks I'm just lieing to him about depression. He thinks that all I do is lie to him. Like there's nothing that could make me feel depressed since from his perspective he did everything he could. He never listened to me to understand me, we never had a real bond; it was always discipline discipline discipline until I couldn't be beaten any more. Then it was yell, yell, yell. It affects my studies. It affects everything I want to do for myself.


can you see a counselor at school or through your health insurance? you really should talk to someone that is supportive and if you cant see a counselor try a regluar medical doctor, they can refer to specialists or even prescribe medicine for depression that could help.


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## Razare (Apr 21, 2009)

Azure Bass said:


> He thinks I'm just lieing to him about depression. He thinks that all I do is lie to him. Like there's nothing that could make me feel depressed since from his perspective he did everything he could. He never listened to me to understand me, we never had a real bond; it was always discipline discipline discipline until I couldn't be beaten any more. Then it was yell, yell, yell. It affects my studies. It affects everything I want to do for myself.


Go to a college counselor, most decent sized colleges have them. Unlike a forum, that person would be able to help you in a more direct way.


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