# Why I Will Always Be Single



## OmarFW (Apr 8, 2010)

In short, because the girl I want does not exist.

I seek the kind of girl that I feel a connection with before I even meet her.

This is far from just a theory and I have felt strong pre-existing connections with various people throughout life.

The kind of connection that has nothing to do with mental or physical attraction, but compels me to get to know everything I can about that individual.

I thrive on this kind of connection, it is the only thing in life I crave and depend on more than music.

It is not something you can categorize, but it is what you build a relationship on top of.

It is a foundation.


That's not to say that attraction is not important also.

Though focusing on that alone, it's already hard enough to find a girl that I am attracted to both mentally/emotionally and physically.

I have met a TOTAL of 4 girls in my entire life that I have been attracted to both ways.

I won't settle for just one or the other; my mind and body are a team and have to have a mutual agreement on things like this.


So when you combine the rarity of the kind of girl I have a deep set connection with (considering it could be anybody) and the rarity of the kind of girl I have both a mental and physical attraction to AND ideally one with a personality that is highly compatible with my own, the odds are definitely against me.


Now besides all of that, I have my own issues to deal with.

Suppose I had this girl right under my nose, would I just allow myself to pursue her?

Probably not.

I'm not at a point where I feel I deserve that kind of thing.

I know this feeling of undeserving is immature at best, but I can't get rid of it until I learn how first.

Do I really have the capacity to give the kind of girl I want everything she deserves?


Sure, I could lower my standards

But what would the point of a relationship be if it were solely based on physical attraction?

or only mental attraction?

or only a pre-existing deep connection?

or just personality compatibility?

Maybe if I wanted some short term satisfaction.

on her part

I could never be satisfied with that.

I want a girl I can watch turn 80 and wrinkled.

It's either that or I spend my life alone.

And yet I'm not really alone, which some single people don't seem to realize.

Does being in a relationship somehow make me more happy?

No of course not, it's luxury.

If I can't be happy single then I can't be happy with someone by me.

Besides all of that I am just not an instigator.

I do not extend myself to meet new people.

There is not a single relationship in my life that I have initiated.

The perfect girl for me could walk right past me and I wouldn't do anything about it.


With that being said, I'm going to work.​


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## waterviolet (Apr 28, 2010)

Well, I think you hit on quite a few points that many of us have contemplated throughout our lives. I've always said that I'd rather be alone and somewhat happy instead of being with someone and being terribly miserable. The one thing that I can't get past is your ability to (seemingly) so easily say, "...the girl I want does not exist." Here's another belief of mine - if you can imagine it, then it's possible! Of course, I'm much like you in the sense that I feel the reality of it happening in my lifetime is slim. It's definately something to hold on to, the thought of watching someone grow old with you and knowing that when you look in their eyes that deep connection is still there. I want that too. I think the important thing for all of us is to not be afraid of putting our foot forward and taking the initiative. Afterall, as comfortable as we may be sitting inside our own home, we can't expect our 'one-and-only' to come knocking on our door. Although stranger things have happened I'm sure.


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## sushi (May 2, 2010)

deep stuff.. can i have ur permission to repost this on my blog somewhere else, i totally WILL NOT take credit for it i promise.


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## OmarFW (Apr 8, 2010)

with my name on it, sure


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## infpnerdgirl (May 3, 2010)

Ok, just throwing this out there, but you should consider being an author or something because you are really good at writing


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## OmarFW (Apr 8, 2010)

I could, but what would I write about? 

I don't have anything to say that would be long enough to fill up an entire book let alone a single page.


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## natashasghost (May 5, 2010)

Ha. I was going to jump in and say, "it's okay, you'll find her!" but then I realized that this is just a vent and that's what I'm working on ha...not fixing people's problems but listening and identifying with them. I can really identify with a lot of that. It does seem impossible doesn't it? I hope you feel better lately about it  and good luck!


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## OmarFW (Apr 8, 2010)

being a supporter is fine, being a fixer isn't. that's what I always say to myself. I have the same problem where I tend to want to directly intervene with peoples lives. but I know that in doing so I'm stealing an opportunity from them to learn.

even if my odds of finding the girl for me are 1 in 1 million, i still have a chance then i guess.


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## Goodewitch (Mar 4, 2010)

I'd just like to say thanks for this blog entry Omar. It pretty mmuch sums up how I feel too.
I'm pretty sure theres a possibility that the elusive man or woman that we want does exist, however, I think the Universe picks its own special time and place and people to bless with this kind of connection in their lives.
Human beings can and have imagined romance, and love of a transcendant kind, thats where our wonderful lterature, music, opera, plays, and art comes from. its more than the compatibility, attraction, connction, i think.
Its a fusion of pre determined kismet, the connection of almost familail unconditional (almost) type love, perfect trust, perfect affection, empathy, kindness and compassion that is just too damn rare in this world.
you're not settling for less than the very pinnacle of what love can be, artists have imagined it, chronicled it for centuries, its a timeless thing that you're seeking, and it may be many many many lifetimes before fate decrees its time...
I wish you luck. G. x


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## Darkimplosion (Mar 18, 2011)

Balderdash ... We only have one life.. Use it well. So far disappointment is all that coming is entering my ears. I'm not trying to be a jest it's just that I ask myself why? Why would you have such a pedantic view on love? I think that my perfect love will be the one that I have the most fun and what not... But what ever I'm only 16. Sorry I tend to correct people on my best logical standards...


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## Lacryma (Feb 13, 2011)

This really makes me think of something I have read a while ago: _100% Perfect Girl_ by Haruki Murakami. If you get the chance you should read it, it's pretty short anyway... Though I'd like to think that even though realistically the chances are slim, it's still something possible. After all, we're so many that there ought to be at least one girl who has everything you're looking for. Seriously though, if you do walk past her doing ANYTHING is better than nothing at all and that way there will be no regrets.


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## Mooserapids (Oct 19, 2012)

A long term relationship of mine recently ended. Looking back I can see that I never did have the kind of attraction to my partner in all the domains you mention. I was attracted, a lot, in one or two and thought the relationship could be well founded on that. It didn't work out that way. Looking back I believe that the domains where a good level of attraction didn't exist tend to stand out, becoming foreground as the years pass. I think your commitment to yourself to wait until you find a person you are attracted to in all domains is wise. Because if you don't then a relationship may not be luxury rather it may become the basis for much unhappiness. I have to wonder though how practical it is to "hold out" for that one special person. I am fifty-one and have yet to have met such a person. Good luck in your quest.


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