# Severe loneliness



## yet another intj (Feb 10, 2013)

joshuab said:


> I'm in such urgent need of help, and at the same time I feel so helpless.


Sounds like simply being alive.



joshuab said:


> I have no social life at all and I have chronic loneliness. A couple of my family members like to hang out with me, but then I get back home and back into my personal world and I have no fulfillment.


Personally, I don't think that young people should have crazy social lives with fireworks and shit to be considered "healthy". It's good to be social to some degree for your mental health but it's not the one and only indication of your self worth. So, first of all, being 19 years old and lonely isn't the end of the world. There will be periods that you will feel even more lonelier while ironically surrounded by crowds and there will be days that you will feel understood by the uplifting company of this or that very special person. There's no "fulfillment". You will never "solve" it permanently. It's nothing but human nature. There's always something missing and that's why you are waking up every morning, even if you feel like that you can't. Some people may look like solved it permantly but they are still broken deep inside and suffering differently.



joshuab said:


> I'm so desperate to have a girlfriend and lay in a field at the park with her at 2 AM and stare into the stars while discussing deep things.


Everybody does. Even the ones who already have a relationship. The thing is, it's not easy to achieve that. By the way, you better stay away from parks at 2 AM.



joshuab said:


> I am also so desperate for people to desire me and to want to be my friend and to truly love and accept me for who I am.


Then, just be who you are and stop feeling desperate. Being a friend is nothing but recognizing the existence of another person. It doesn't have to contain true love or some kind of unconditional acceptance. People need to know you first. Then, they will process their knowledge. After all, it can develop as a relationship.



joshuab said:


> I feel unloved and worthless.


That's ridiculous because you are a human being, not a currency.



joshuab said:


> I have social anxiety and major depression so it's difficult for me to ask a girl out.


Asking a girl out? We are not living in the 80's. Just be friendly and around. It works.



joshuab said:


> I've never done it before and I'm too scared of rejection and I don't know how to not come across as creepy.


That's why "asking a girl out" directly is a problematic concept. She's not a cab driver.



joshuab said:


> I'm not good at making friends because I'm too boring and quiet.


You sound like a great friend... At least, from my perspective.



joshuab said:


> I also can't seem to meet people like me that I can connect to on a deep level.


How can you connect to people on a deep level if you can't meet them... Probably the biggest dilemma of introversion. 



joshuab said:


> I have only been able to do that with a few online friends.


The future is here... DUN! DUN! DUN!








joshuab said:


> I'm so desperate to have that.


Don't.



joshuab said:


> I crave love so badly.









joshuab said:


> I struggle with suicidal thoughts so badly. While I'm working I sometimes get this uncontrollable rush of suicidal thoughts and hopelessness to the point where it feels like a panicky-depression attack. I have no idea what to do.


I don't know why people are thinking about killing themselves while they are already mortal. It's a free movie ticket. Why don't you stay and watch the whole thing? There may be a plot twist. By the way, hope is something you can choose as a mindset. It's a decision. It's not a natural resource and nobody have to constantly provide it to you for your daily consumption. They can sell it to you for sure in a form of legal or illegal substances, medication or services. The thing is, it's simpler as it's also harder than it looks. Growing up takes time and patience.



joshuab said:


> I'm going to get a therapist in a month and there are no support groups near me.


Just be sure that you are not expecting miracles. They can "help" you but you will be the one who can "improve" things.



joshuab said:


> I feel utterly hopeless and unwanted.


Which is nothing interesting because you don't love yourself and also expecting others to love you. Start from yourself, others will follow you.



joshuab said:


> I get used by my best online best friends and feel even more worthless.














joshuab said:


> I don't know how much longer I can take this.


I think you can ask another question: "How can you take this differently?"



joshuab said:


> I'm in such a deep pit of depression and I feel like I'm only going to keep descending further.


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