# Idealizing Other Types



## unico (Feb 3, 2011)

I have a tendency to idealize people, anyways, so I don't know if this is a common occurrence, but I tend to idealize people of certain enneagram types -- mainly 9's. I've had a lot of 9's in my life that I immediately adored and obsessed over. I became good friends with them usually, though sometimes we had a big falling out (sometimes partly because of my idealizing). I'm trying to idealize less now and see people for how they are. I'm a 4w3, by the way.

Does anyone else idealize a certain enneagram type that is not their own?


----------



## IonOfAeons (Dec 2, 2010)

Funny you should say that, I'm a 9 and I idealise 4s, mostly their emotional intensity and the idea of feeling so unique. My personality feels a bit 'bleh' to me sometimes so I like the image I have of their complexity. I also idealise 5s, imagining them as independent people who live up there in their world of private ideas, I'd almost find it a relief to be more detached from people and focus on knowledge.

I idealise people in general too actually, the lack of intensity in my interaction with people when I'm actually talking to them and being around as opposed to how I remember my relationship with them is an all too common disappointment to me. I'm a 9w8 sx/sp by the way if you're wondering.


----------



## unico (Feb 3, 2011)

I'm an sp/sx, but the sexual variant is still pretty strong in me. I like the independent, mild, calm, nonconfrontational approach 9's often have.


----------



## SuperDevastation (Jun 7, 2010)

Type 8s, because when a loved one is hurt by another person or people, 8s will (likely) seek vengeance upon the perpetrator(s).


----------



## TheCuttlefish (Sep 8, 2011)

I mostly idealize 8s. I love the assertive type for some reason.


----------



## TomBlo (Aug 22, 2011)

it's funny i never feel like i idealize anyone, but more drawn to certain type i would say, i have always drawn to a strong and difficult poeple. I don't know why..


----------



## PixieSaysHi (Oct 9, 2010)

TomBlo said:


> it's funny i never feel like i idealize anyone, but more drawn to certain type i would say, i have always drawn to a strong and difficult poeple. I don't know why..


It may be because type 9s have difficulty knowing what they think/feel. Types that are vociferous naturally draw nines in, as if the nine can live vicariously.


----------



## PixieSaysHi (Oct 9, 2010)

I don't idealize any type. Placing a higher value on any given type is more likely due to stereotyping and not a deeper knowledge of the enneagram. Each one has its virtue/vice.

Having said that, I admire healthy 8s. It could be that this is the arrow of integration for type 5 and intuitively I sense the need to move in this direction. 

Healthy 8s are able to finesse a typically awkward and uncomfortable confrontation with ease. They don't avoid confrontation. I love the take the bull by the horns approach, but a healthy 8 will also handle with care. It's a fine example of the art of being assertive without going off track to either the passive or aggressive tendency. Plus, I love the way an 8 will jump in to fight for the underdog or someone who cannot fight for himself. 

There are traits to every single type I admire. 8s just happened to be front and center in my mind today.


----------



## Cloudlight (Jan 5, 2011)

I idealize any healthy Enneagram type like a Greek deity. They all have so many magnetic and admirable qualities. That being said, I would rather be nothing else than a 9. 
...Though I do idealize every type in the Myers Briggs but my own... D:


----------



## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

I used to idealize type 5s, like they were these awesome, rational, controlled, super-smart people...until I realized that many of them are unemotional assholes, and some are downright schizoid, but they think *I'm* crazy for having a wide range of feeling experiences. 

Let's see...I think I used to idolize type 3s when I was younger, maybe more of an IxFP inferiority complex that my ESTJ step-grandmother instilled into me, that I *should be* like very active, busy, outwardly succeeding, image conscious people. Now that I am older and feel very comfortable in my own skin, I don't want any of that, and don't idealize those people at all...so I think it was a complex that was given to me as an adolescent. 

I'm really glad to have grown out of this stuff, too. Life experience has been a wonderful thing for me, it's made me a much happier, secure, and comfortable person with who I am and what I do. 

Being on the Internet, too, greatly helped me see the flaws of type 5s (and NTs) and helped me to see that I don't want to be like them, and even find some of their flaws absolutely repellent. 

It sucks to idealize and look up to people because the truth is that nobody belongs on a pedastal, nobody. If you watch people enough, you'll see that most people suck equally, but just in different ways.


----------



## Wake (Aug 31, 2009)

@fourtines I probably agree with you.
Every type takes pride in some sort of value. How much it builds to their ego, the more I dislike them. That being said, I enjoy being around 9's, 6's, and 2's.

I don't idealize too much about any type, because all of the flaws are just too apparent.


----------



## jbking (Jun 4, 2010)

unico said:


> Does anyone else idealize a certain enneagram type that is not their own?


I'd probably say that I idealize 7s and 5s while I'm a 1w2 sp/so type. When I'm at my healthiest I seem to take on some characteristics of a 7 that make me feel pretty darn awesome and so in a way I overly enjoy how a 7 can just add that pep in my step that I wish I could add when I wanted if I'm down.

In a completely different vain, I really enjoy how a 5 can just absorb stuff on end like me so that in its own way I relate well with that type. Just taking it all in, yeah that's me at times too.


----------



## The Doc (Nov 10, 2011)

I'd agree that I don't idealize any of the types, however, I would like to see myself be a bit more 3ish


----------



## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

I don't idealize types, but I do admire the vivacity of many sevens. I love the playful manner in which they approach the world. There's nothing quite like it.


----------



## proactive (Nov 6, 2011)

Hi .. I look up to other types like peace makers there so polite and rational as long as their not going along with others to keep the peace. I'm a 5 so when I'm healthy I'm an 8. I love 8 personality b/c their straight shooters. So I strife for that. The parts that I like about others I try to mimic them. But I always try to keep principles before personality....


----------



## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

Idealize isn't the right word, but I do adore 9s , 7s and, at times, 1s. I like these types. If the one and I are focused on a goal, we can get a lot done.


----------



## timeless (Mar 20, 2010)

Hardcore enneagrammatics (enneagramology?) would see each type as equally degraded.


----------



## TreeBob (Oct 11, 2008)

proactive said:


> Hi .. I look up to other types like peace makers there so polite and rational as long as their not going along with others to keep the peace. I'm a 5 so when I'm healthy I'm an 8. I love 8 personality b/c their straight shooters. So I strife for that. The parts that I like about others I try to mimic them. But I always try to keep principles before personality....


I am not quite sure what you said there. You are a 5 but when healthy you are an 8?


----------



## DJArendee (Nov 27, 2009)

timeless said:


> Hardcore enneagrammatics (enneagramology?) would see each type as equally degraded.







"here, you are all equally worthless"

edit: crap embedding is disabled. nuts.


----------



## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

I have idealized 8s in the past, but I don't have to be an 8 to possess their positive qualities, so idealizing them would just serve to make me feel bad about myself.


----------



## Thinkist (Sep 8, 2011)

PixieSaysHi said:


> It may be because type 9s have difficulty knowing what they think/feel. Types that are vociferous naturally draw nines in, as if the nine can live vicariously.


Very true. My guess is that 9s are the most idealized type (thanks to our high levels of neutrality and inner tranquility), but from the perspective of a 9, it isn't worth it to idealize any type. That said, I don't idealize any enneatype.


----------



## prsvrnc (Oct 15, 2011)

TomBlo said:


> it's funny i never feel like i idealize anyone, but more drawn to certain type i would say, i have always drawn to a strong and difficult poeple. I don't know why..


I heart the same as PixieSaysHi. I read that type 9s are often attracted to people that are strong and assertive. I think someone that can provide strong direction and "oomph" in the relationship, esp. if the 9 merges strongly with them. maybe to ease a 9s anxiety of having to make choices for oneself?


----------



## Giovanni (Nov 25, 2011)

unico said:


> I have a tendency to idealize people, anyways, so I don't know if this is a common occurrence, but I tend to idealize people of certain enneagram types -- mainly 9's. I've had a lot of 9's in my life that I immediately adored and obsessed over. I became good friends with them usually, though sometimes we had a big falling out (sometimes partly because of my idealizing). I'm trying to idealize less now and see people for how they are. I'm a 4w3, by the way.
> 
> Does anyone else idealize a certain enneagram type that is not their own?


Much longer before studying the Enneagram, I realized that I tend to idealize a certain kind of people: usually people who are very successful in their life, who have achieved a lot in terms of jobs and, generally speaking, "external accomplishments".
Now I realize that they are basically types 3. I tend to compare myself with them and to feel my inadequacy, so looking at them and hearing about their accomplishments makes me feel bad about myself and wishing I could be like them.
Now I know that envy is typical of my type, as feelings of inadequacy etc, so now I understand better why I have always looked at these people.


----------



## proactive (Nov 6, 2011)

As a 5 I'm drawn to wisdom, knowledge, and learning. I love it. I can spend hours reading and studying. I want to understand human behavior and teach others how to live right. So I idealize anyone with more education and credentials than me. Even though I'm in my dissertation phase of my PhD. I envy those who apply what I reach b/c my doing center tends to get stuck sometimes. I love chillin with performers and challengers.... their all about action.... PEACE


----------



## prsvrnc (Oct 15, 2011)

proactive said:


> So I idealize anyone with more education and credentials than me.


Is your social instinct one of your stronger instincts?? I understand that 5s with that instinct tend to be the most interested in credentials.


----------



## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

9s have been the only e-type I've idealized



Thinkist said:


> Very true. My guess is that 9s are the most idealized type (thanks to our high levels of neutrality and inner tranquility), but from the perspective of a 9, it isn't worth it to idealize any type. That said, I don't idealize any enneatype.


 aww <333


----------



## Unicorntopia (Jun 18, 2010)

I idealize these in this order:

3
5
8

That happens to also be my wings in order... coincidense? Probably not. I think it makes perfect sense that I want to show the world what I wish I was.


----------

