# Help Me Type a Relative



## Bluity (Nov 12, 2012)

I'm LII. She and I get along fairly well but we have little in common. Here are some details:

She values education and hardwork. She has no problem making long-term commitments.

She enjoys giving gifts, usually through taking us to dinner or souvenirs from her vacations. If she feels unappreciated, which is often, she is quick to remind of us of how much time and money she has spent on us. Yet she refuses to stop buying us stuff even when we ask her to.

In groups she talks about social issues including discrimination, violence in the neighborhood, and gentrification. She likes personal anecdotes and tells her stories in detail.

She is very aware of social conventions and does not appreciate rudeness or boisterous behavior. She can be critical to disrespectful children. She claims she's the one who taught me manners and takes pride in how well-behaved I was as a child (my mother does not take kindly to this).

She's a lawyer and wants everyone to know. No matter how slight an insult, she will take up the issue with the manager, the owner, and continue up the corporate chain until her demands are met. She voices her concerns quickly, bluntly, and has no patience for incompetence.

She dispenses very practical advice that I do not like to take. Her advice, which is unasked for, usually boils down to "Just do it" or "get off your butt." She's very action-oriented and I'm...not. This has caused us conflict in the past.

She has high standards for her niece and nephews and poo-poos us when we don't live up to it.

She does not like fantasy, sci fi, or anything with no practical purpose. She cannot sit through a documentary on the solar system without complaining about how worthless NASA is, on how the entire endeavor of space travel is stupid and that we should be spending money solving the present crises on earth.

She is plagued with health problems but takes an averse pride in how she can power through it. Her doctor wants her hospitalized but she claims he just doesn't understand "the will of a strong woman." Her current health crises, and how she overcomes it through willpower, is one of her favorite topics for discussion.

She's materialistic. She shops constantly and buys high-quality items regardless if she needs them. She's proud of the deals she gets and enjoys showing off her new finds when we visit.

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Given the above information, what would you guess is her type?


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## Zero11 (Feb 7, 2010)

a very obvious ESFj / ESE


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## ThatOneWeirdGuy (Nov 22, 2012)

Not an ESE...

Beta or Gamma... EIE is my guess.


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## Zero11 (Feb 7, 2010)

ThatOneWeirdGuy said:


> Not an ESE...
> 
> Beta or Gamma... EIE is my guess.





> She likes personal anecdotes and tells her stories in detail.


Sorry I missed the Ni that was jumping into my eyes.


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## ThatOneWeirdGuy (Nov 22, 2012)

Zero11 said:


> Sorry I missed the Ni that was jumping into my eyes.


I said Gamma or Beta because she's very concerned with power and the social hierarchy. EIE was just a guess not based off of any rational reasoning.


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## Bluity (Nov 12, 2012)

Thank you for the responses.

I would be surprised if she were my dual. I imagine duality would be energizing in its intensity. Our relationship is really relaxed. We get to joke around in a way we don't do with others. I find that our conversations are like a key-and-lock: she asks questions that are the exact type that I'm thinking, and my answers are the exact type that she wants and likes. It's like we're following a script that neither one of us wrote but we both enjoy playing out.

I have doubts she is an Alpha though, because she has no interest in the abstract. Physics, philosophy, even literature, bores her. What she will do is ask questions like "Where do you think we're going as a country" or "Who will you vote for next season?" Practical but future oriented, and it's usually triggered by something I brought out, or a news report she just saw. I don't think she's ever brought it up herself.

She doesn't know how to relax. She's on the move, all the time, and I think her health problems are caused by her restless energy. Despite that, she knows how to make me relax - taking me to spas and restaurants - and I think this is the only time she lets herself de-stress, when she's treating someone else.

When it comes to emotions, she's far more likely to tell you what she plans to do than how she's feeling. Instead of saying "Your grandmother pisses me off" she'll say "I'm cutting off contact with that woman." I've only seen her cry once. However, she likes hearing about what you're feeling, and catalogs all your likes and dislikes. Since I don't talk about my personal preference, the rare occasion I do admit to liking something she practically throws a party:

You like that sandwich I bought for you?
It's ok.
YOU LOVE IT.
It's ok.
You know it's a Five star restaurant, right? Voted number one for three straight years. Celebrities swear by it. I can get you some next week, because I'm an awesome aunt.
It's ok.
WILL YOU ADMIT TO LIKING SOMETHING? Would it KILL you to just pry open those cold dead lips to say "I like this sandwich." 
I'll eat it when offered.
THANK you. My GAWD.

And then she'll proceed to buy me one for the next couple of weeks.

She's very family oriented. She likes visiting her niece and nephews and, though she doesn't have the greatest relationships with her siblings, will offer support when needed. She's very aware of the group dynamics and can tell you who likes who, who doesn't like who, etc. She'll know what's bothering you before you do. Her job usually involved cases with abused children or delinquents, and she regards them with a strange mixture of pity, compassion, and amusement. She doesn't seem phased at what she's seen -rape, incest - and if she has any negative feelings regarding her job, she doesn't show it. She can lecture you on what those parents did wrong and what they should have done. She's big on "shoulds."

When it comes to power, well, I don't know. Very much interested in racial discrimination. Hates abuses of power. Loves the privileges that come with her money. Not mean or a hardass, but she will let you know, in that pleasant cordial way of hers, that she will see your ass in court. Very vocal on injustices against her race, mildly interested on injustices against her sex, gives no fucks on injustices against any other group. Genuinely confused, for example, on the issue of gay rights. Knows better than to call her gay coworker a *** in his face, but will call him that when with family, and will pat me on the head when I point out the disparity. "Oh, you're cute." Sees no problem with it because she likes the guy and meant no harm.

Hates animals, I don't know why.

She think personal accomplishments should be celebrated with parties or special gifts, but doesn't like Christmas, Mother's day, or any other commercialized holiday. Laments the rise of technology, yet has an iPad and a new laptop. Bemoans the loss of community in today's world, yet complains on how her neighborhood association is "too friendly." She's amused when I point out the hypocrisies.

I don't know how she stands on the democratic/aristocratic level, because she wants equality...when it suits her. Doesn't phrase the conversation in terms of groups unless the topic calls for it. Very individualistic and doesn't like anyone telling her what to do, even indirectly ("Do you know the mayor is banning smoking?" "That tyrant! Can't we live our lives in peace?! "You don't even smoke." "I don't see your point.") Thinks people should do what they want to do, as long as it doesn't inconvenience her. 

All that said, she's definitely some sort of EJ.


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## ThatOneWeirdGuy (Nov 22, 2012)

Sounds like an enormous headache. 

LSE maybe?


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## Inguz (Mar 10, 2012)

ThatOneWeirdGuy said:


> Sounds like an enormous headache.
> 
> LSE maybe?


I'm on the same line of thought. LSE 1w2. She seems like a walking Delta stereotype.


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## ThatOneWeirdGuy (Nov 22, 2012)

Maybe an LIE who is trying to improve her PoLR?


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## Bluity (Nov 12, 2012)

Inguz said:


> I'm on the same line of thought. LSE 1w2. She seems like a walking Delta stereotype.


This makes a lot of sense, actually. Her being Si-creative and me being Si-HA explains why we bond over Si concerns (Nutrition, exercise and her current health concerns are what we talk about most). The whole Si-creative description fits her well. And Te makes more sense as her lead than Fe. 

Thank you.


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## Cantarella (Sep 3, 2010)

Definitely Si-creative. But the way you describe that little dialogue with her sounds more like the ESEs I know. I've gotten tons of gifts from ESEs and LSEs and usually the LSE won't bring up the gift or ask how much I like it. It's like they don't even want to know how I feel. And if I tell them I really liked the gift, they get sort of shy. The ESEs, on the other hand... I remember mentioning in passing that I wanted a certain fleece blanket I saw in a store window and an ESE friend bought me a similar one and kept drilling in how much I supposedly WANTED and even NEEDED the damn thing when I saw it until it felt like I was arguing with her by pointing out that I hadn't ever needed it, lol. Anyway, if LSE makes more sense then go for that, but otherwise I wouldn't dismiss the notion of her being ESE either.


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