# Fe/Fi - Absorbing vs mirroring emotions



## OrangeAppled

Kyusaku said:


> I call that deception. A passive aggressive person becomes like a boulder that won't budge no matter what. No communication, no approval or disapproval, the person refuses to get involved in the situation despite her being at the core of it. If I deceive you I'm being a coward yeah, but I'm actively trying to feed you false information in order to advance my agenda. That's being active to me. I'm not waiting, sitting on my ass for you to go away. I'm taking advantage of you. A passive aggressive person doesn't profit at all, it avoids conflict.


I dont agree the definition is that narrow. 
It doesnt sound like any INFPs Ive ever met either. 

This is a thread hi-jack and not going anywhere, plus Im bored with it.


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## Kyusaku

OrangeAppled said:


> I dont agree the definition is that narrow.
> It doesnt sound like any INFPs Ive ever met either.
> 
> This is a thread hi-jack and not going anywhere, plus Im bored with it.


You mean it is not going in the direction you want.


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## sogood

nvmmmm


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## Kyusaku

sogood said:


> nvmmmm


I don't know what you wanted to talk about, but it gives me the occasion of adding something here. I'm annoyed at people creating boogie men out of MBTI types or functions. I'm Fe and I have absolutely no interest to dictate how you ought to feel. Being Ni I find the kind of Ne bull crap we see on this thread just as irksome as the Fe bull crap they talk about. Get to know the persons individually before judging them so harshly. It's not because you've met x amount of Fe users that were rotten that the problem comes from Fe or whatever function. People are singular, some Fe users are honest and others are not.

Not to imply that you share the same point of view as OrangeAppled.


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## sogood

Kyusaku said:


> I don't know what you wanted to talk about, but it gives me the occasion of adding something here. I'm annoyed at people creating boogie men out of MBTI types or functions. I'm Fe and I have absolutely no interest to dictate how you ought to feel. Being Ni I find the kind of Ne bull crap we see on this thread just as irksome as the Fe bull crap they talk about. Get to know the persons individually before judging them so harshly. It's not because you've met x amount of Fe users that were rotten that the problem comes from Fe or whatever function. People are singular, some Fe users are honest and others are not.
> 
> Not to imply that you share the same point of view as OrangeAppled.



I don't think that, but I don't think OAppled does either. She was speaking in general from her interactions with FJs, I'm sure she could admit not all FJs are like that and that FPs have their own set of flaws.

I was going to say you were being overly defensive about definitions not because the definition was faulty but because you had a problem with the point it connected to, but I figured it didn't matter. Ironically it actually proved her point because that's being passive-aggressive, but I'm not trying to attack you. You are probably a very nice person and I can see why you might feel over-generalized or attacked by the post.


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## ae1905

Linwin said:


> I've been thinking alot about the feeling function lately and I've been trying to make sense of my own relation to Fe and Fi. One of the things that I find really interesting is how INFJs and INFPs use their Fe/Fi for empathy in ways that seem really similar on the surface and I was initially really confused by this. This article (INFP vs INFJ: 5 Surprising Differences To Tell Them Apart : Personality Hacker) explains the difference between the empathy of the two types as INFJs absorbing emotions from others in their vicinity and INFPs mirroring the emotions of others based on their own deep kowledge of the emotional spectra.
> 
> I personally have so many experiences of absorbing others emotions, but I've never really been able to understand what kind of a thing that is, where it comes from, what it means and how it's different from just beeing able to relate.
> 
> Can you tell me about your experiences absorbing/mirroring emotions and what you've learnt from it? Why/how does it happen? Is it positive for you?


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirror_neuron

Mirror neurons allow you to literally feel another's emotions. This is what you call "absorbing". Other people's emotions figuratively flow into you. This is Fe empathy. Fi is more _sympathy _than empathy. Fi knows what others feel because it can imagine what it would feel in their place.


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## Kyusaku

sogood said:


> I don't think that, but I don't think OAppled does either. She was speaking in general from her interactions with FJs, I'm sure she could admit not all FJs are like that and that FPs have their own set of flaws.
> 
> I was going to say *you were being overly defensive about definitions not because the definition was faulty but because you had a problem with the point it connected to*, but I figured it didn't matter. Ironically it actually proved her point because that's being passive-aggressive, but I'm not trying to attack you. You are probably a very nice person and I can see why you might feel over-generalized or attacked by the post.


Where did you read that and what is this connected point I have a problem with ? You are overly vague here, I was criticizing the definition of passive aggressive. If voicing your disagreement is passive aggressive now, what behavior isn't ?


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## sogood

Kyusaku said:


> Where did you read that and what is this connected point I have a problem with ? You are overly vague here, I was criticizing the definition of passive aggressive. If voicing your disagreement is passive aggressive now, what behavior isn't ?


I could be wrong but your disagreement with the definition seemed to be you really arguing that FJs aren't passive aggressive, but instead involved picking apart her definition when it didn't really matter all that much.


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## Kyusaku

sogood said:


> I could be wrong but your disagreement with the definition seemed to be you really arguing that FJs aren't passive aggressive, but instead involved picking apart her definition when it didn't really matter all that much.


It doesn't matter to you because you are not Ti. If I argue about something I want to make sure we put the same meaning behind words, or else it's futile (which proved to be the case here).


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## Aizar

<headscratch> 

With mirror neurons, everyone does both...

Though there's also being able to intellectually guess at another's emotions, which isn't the same. I guess that would be more Fi.

EDIT/DOUBLE POST: As for the argument on passive-aggression...there's passive, aggressive, assertive, and passive-aggressive as styles of communication. Each except assertive is considered to be unhealthy in the longterm...don't assume "passive" means "peaceful", for instance. I think passive better fits the definition @_Kyusaku_ is talking about, where the person is refusing to do anything but isn't really acting out, either. Just sitting there looking at you blankly.

Passive-aggressive has more of an intention behind it, and is often more manipulative as @_OrangeAppled_ said. Backhanded compliments, lying about being upset, etc. I think it depends on the person whether it leans more to the passive side or the aggressive side.

Aggressive is obvious, but people sometimes confuse it with assertiveness, because assertiveness is win-win, while aggression is I-win-you-lose.

As for whether FJs or FPs are more passive-aggressive, puh-lease, we're not in kindergarten with the stereotypes nonsense, folks! I know an INFP who is a right pain in the butt and extremely manipulative, but that doesn't meant all INFPs are. Same for my own type. As an INFJ, I'd hope people recognize any jackassery coming from me personally is just that, personal to me.


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## justjay

I thought the Fi user would be seen as the absorbing type, and the Fe would be the mirroring type. I always imagine ISFP's and INFP's as great absorbers in the acting field. Many ENTP and INTP actors/comedians seem like they are more likely to mirror the traits they've seen in others.

I'm going to share something embarrassing about myself. I'm an INFP 4w5 who had a difficult time finding his identity in his late teens and early twenties. I would take little pieces of someone that I admired, and I would become that little piece. I would wonder how they felt when they walked a certain way, or why they might stand like that. I wouldn't just stand like they did, I would become how they felt when they did that. I always thought of becoming an actor and method acting, and that seemed really fun to me at the time so I practiced that. 

I think this is why INFJ's and INFP's can clash sometimes. How can someone know how someone else really feels unless they've felt that way? But INFJ's have this unexplainable way to do that. Okay, maybe it is explainable, but I don't want to know. It's like knowing your idol's 'This Is The 80's Behind the Scenes' story. 

But what if I told you Fe/Fi users both absorb and reflect emotions. I for one don't walk through a hospital crying at each door I pass.


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## milestogo

Like a strange anthropologist I have aways found myself observing but also slipping into the skin of another to feel & experience through their eyes by my own imagination. Without judgement or bringing my own values, agenda... (as is humanly possible) To the point that I am always shifting in perspective and not very rooted in many of my own values or even my own experience. And in these detached moments I can feel connected to people, see how we are are human at the core. But in the moment, direct experiences with others, I sometimes lose this feeling of being connected and find myself smiling, going along with others to maintain the peace. Pretty sure I have been guilty of saying what I know people want to hear to protect myself or try to get something I need, especially when I was younger.

Mirroring - absorbing I think possibly we all do bits of both from situation to situation. How many variables can play into how we interact with others and emotions?


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