# How do you become genuinely interested with people?



## bakanunu (Mar 17, 2013)

Title says it all


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## Tridentus (Dec 14, 2009)

for me, i've always had problems lacking interest in people if i wasn't in the best state mentally (i'm not crazy or anything, i just mean in general). the happier i am, the more interest i have for other people.

obviously, the more you like someone the more you're going to be interested about them as well, so if you're the type of person who likes everyone, you'll likely be interested in everyone. just be positive about people.


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## RetroVortex (Aug 14, 2012)

Its all about discussion for me.
Small talk is dull to me. An interesting, if not deep conversation can tell me whether that person is worth being around.
I don't like to trust first impression too much. 

If they can be fun and share ideas, then that makes me like them even more! 

Edit: Play is very important to me.


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## bakanunu (Mar 17, 2013)

Tridentus said:


> for me, i've always had problems lacking interest in people if i wasn't in the best state mentally (i'm not crazy or anything, i just mean in general). the happier i am, the more interest i have for other people.
> 
> obviously, the more you like someone the more you're going to be interested about them as well, so if you're the type of person who likes everyone, you'll likely be interested in everyone. just be positive about people.


This holds true to me. Problem is I am not in the best state mentally....a lot of stress going on and my positive energy is on all time low.


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## clairdelunatic (Mar 20, 2013)

At the risk of sound glib, find interesting people? 

Some people, sadly, are just not that interesting.  Which isn't to say you can't enjoy their company or be happy to see them, but I don't think that's what you're trying to ask. 



bakanunu said:


> This holds true to me. Problem is I am not in the best state mentally....a lot of stress going on and my positive energy is on all time low.


I think hanging out with interesting people helps recharge positive energy, too.  Hang in there, bakanunu!


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## bakanunu (Mar 17, 2013)

clairdelunatic said:


> At the risk of sound glib, find interesting people?
> 
> Some people, sadly, are just not that interesting.  Which isn't to say you can't enjoy their company or be happy to see them, but I don't think that's what you're trying to ask.
> 
> ...


Thank you Claire!! Finding interesting people will be hard since I do not find people interesting at the moment, but I will try.


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## Aelthwyn (Oct 27, 2010)

sharing interests is good, doesn't seem to happen all that often, well not really. It's fun to talk about things we both have enthusiasm for and help to further feed that interest 

Also talking about ideas grabs my interest, ideas about all kinds of different things - just hearing people's theories about stuff is interesting, seeing the connections they make and how they think. 

most of the time peopel don't appear to have similar interests, and often conversations start out on boring topics and don't quickly make the transition into the realm of theory so I often find people uninteresting.

but there is also just that invisible element of feeling like I identify with someoen which doesn't come from any specific things necessarily, just a sense of getting eachother from the start - and that can make me interested even when our interests are quite different.


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## Grac3 (Dec 14, 2011)

I become interested when I notice they're interesting. Before that I *might* try to start out a basic conversation with them and hint at other topics to hopefully pull them in another direction so we don't have to go on with shallow small talk. If after time I can tell they don't have much interest in talking about other things, as well as just don't happen to have much depth (because if we're going to be honest, not everyone does) then I'll move on and gradually detach myself from them, if that's even necessary by that point.


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## ancientone (Apr 7, 2013)

Very simple: I require a brain orgasm from their depth.


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## bakanunu (Mar 17, 2013)

It seems NF's have the same mode of thinking of wanting a deep conversation before becoming genuinely interested in people. I wonder how SF and ST respond to this I should bring this to their thread


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

(If you have this character flaw)
Become less pretentious and more down to earth... Worked for me. :happy:

I enjoy people's company now even if we are just exchanging jokes and light hearted anecdotes to make a training course more enjoyable.


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## Pom87 (Apr 7, 2012)

Kidnap them -- chloroform always works wonders -- and then dissect them. You will be amazed at what you find. That will surely peak a genuine interest in people.


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## bakanunu (Mar 17, 2013)

Pom87 said:


> Kidnap them -- chloroform always works wonders -- and then dissect them. You will be amazed at what you find. That will surely peak a genuine interest in people.


Sounds like a plan to me.


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## Quork (Aug 17, 2012)

Talk with them and if we click we click. I don't need a deep deep conversation for people to interest me. Shallowness can have depth to it and as long as I have people I can go deeper with I'm fine with some kiddie pools. There's a reason people have close friends and acquaintances- balance.


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## mireya (Nov 19, 2012)

Nowadays I'm just genuinely really interested in everyone and I can even do small talk without getting too frustrated. And that's a really big thing for me, I used to despise small talk! However, it's still sometimes really hard to actually listen. But I've found that if I just really focus all my energy on that person for a while, I can make myself become interested. Even if they are talking about something stupid and shallow, I just remember that there is so much more to everyone than that and I try to always find more meaning, if that makes any sense.


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## Devrim (Jan 26, 2013)

I want to be able to have a intellectual discussion with someone,
The second they can hold their ground in a debate,
I will want to know more about them,
And learn more from them,
I want to be able to absorb what they know,
And be able to express my opinions and views without them getting touchy and defensive!

It's a rare thing to find someone to debate and share information with,
But when you find that person it's simply amazing!

I do like them being emotionally open,
But it's certainly not that important,
You kind of learn to hold out on the feelings when a good half of your best friends are NT 

If you don't want me to pay attention to you?
Be full of yourself,
And try and talk about something you clearly have no knowledge about,
And then try and act like an expert


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## Pom87 (Apr 7, 2012)

If you want to call it genuine, it has to come from the inside. Maybe you have to accept that it is just not you. Whatever you do now, or pretend to, to make it so, is not genuine.

Maybe you should herd alpacas.


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## lonyojeeves (Mar 24, 2013)

Talk, see where the talking goes the rest of it is all subconcious 

OOOH and eye contact, you can see so much of people in their eyes


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## niffer (Dec 28, 2011)

I don't typically view people as things that could be described as "interesting" in the way an idea or concept would be considered interesting. I talk to people and then feel engaged in them and in the development of our relationship.

I guess one way I "make" people interesting is by doing things like posing questions to them that make them think or that would entice them into revealing things about themselves or thoughts which they wouldn't normally share otherwise.


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## Lightlilly (Mar 31, 2012)

How do you become genuinely interested with people?

I started thinking about the people Im interested in right now...this is when I realized that 

Everyone that is important were either 
people who were there for me...
people who opened up to me personally ...
or someone who calls me their best friend I'll feel the need to be there for them so their best friend doesn't suck.
I'm genuinly interested in these sorts

I don't usually pick/choose when it comes to wether or not I'm interested in someone....usually if someone is talking I'm interested.


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