# Any Gen X NF's out there?



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> Hehehe did you also think I was a college student in my 20's ?
> 
> I read gen x ends in 77, is that right?
> So yeah, I'm from middle of 76, but Brasil is "delayed" in relation to people's mentality!
> My mom was a bit of "wife from the 50's" style. .. I left my parents home when I was already 27 and graduated from college! !
> :shocked:
> I feel like I'm from 80-82 maybe. ..


It seems like there's some variation in how Gen X is defined -- when it begins and when it ends. But it's one big open door party here!


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## Lizabeth

Found this in an online article...
HowStuffWorks "Generation X Facts"


Generation X Facts

Think you know all there is to know about Generation X? Some of these X-facts might surprise you:

Douglas Coupland popularized the term "Generation X" when his novel of the same name was published in 1991; however, he didn't coin the phrase. The term "Generation X" first appeared as the title of a 1950s Robert Capa photo essay, though legend has it that Coupland took the term from Billy Idol's former band Generation X.
The defined era of Generation X is fuzzy around the edges. The period between 1965 and 1981 is most often cited as Generation X, but some sources list 1964 as Gen-X's inaugural year, and the cut off dates range from 1976 to 1981. We're playing it safe and saying that Generation Xers were born between the mid-60s to the early 80s.
With only 46 million members (as opposed to 80 million Baby Boomers and 78 million Millennials), Gen-Xers have barely half the market share of the generations that preceded and came after them [source: Stephey].
Generation X gives back. From huge Gen-X success stories like Google to hometown endeavors like Atlanta's all-volunteer fitness program Boot Camp 4A Cause (BC4C), Xers are known to be philanthropic. In 2010, Google's charitable giving totaled more than $184 million [source: Google.org]. BC4C is even more philanthropic, donating 100 percent of its net profits to local charities [source: BC4C.com].
Born Aug. 4, 1961, President Barack Obama just misses the Generation X cutoff. His wife Michelle Obama, however, can be considered one the very first Gen-Xers. Like other Xers, she's well-educated, with a law degree from Harvard. Throughout her career, she has demonstrated a passion for public service that continues to this day through her popular "Let's Move!" campaign.
In the late 80s and early 90s, Gen-Xers turned the music industry on its head -- first with neo-folk music by artists such as Tracy Chapman and the Indigo Girls, and later with alt-rock grunge with bands like Nirvana and Pearl Jam. Lyrically and sonically, this new music evidenced reflected the rawness, depth and honesty of Generation X. Bassist Krist Novoselic referred to Nirvana's breakout hit "Smells Like Teen Spirit" as "a call to consciousness." [source: Rollingstone.com].


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## FePa

Lizabeth said:


> It seems like there's some variation in how Gen X is defined -- when it begins and when it ends. But it's one big open door party here!


As most of our threads in the NF's forum
:tongue:


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## ThomThom1

I'm a Gen-Xer, too!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Lizabeth

Hi @ThomThom1! (My avatar soul-mate! :happy


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## Turlowe

Born in 68 so yes, another GenX'r here. Plus I liked the band Generation X a lot so I guess that doubles me, GenXX, now where can I find another X.


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## Mr.Venture

Hey @Lizabeth! Yup, same here. Born right in that cusp stage (77-81), but I identify most as an Xer. I figure my GenY tendencies are also easily explained by bein' an ENFP, but anyone with more knowledge 'bout these things is welcome to comment.


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## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> Hey @Lizabeth! Yup, same here. Born right in that cusp stage (77-81), but I identify most as an Xer. I figure my GenY tendencies are also easily explained by bein' an ENFP, but anyone with more knowledge 'bout these things is welcome to comment.


As fellow ENFP I have to ask what those GenY tendencies are (maybe I can fake being a GenY - i.e., younger than I actually am? hmmm....)


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## Nihom

Lizabeth said:


> As fellow ENFP I have to ask what those GenY tendencies are (maybe I can fake being a GenY - i.e., younger than I actually am? hmmm....)


Why fake it? You're fine the way you are.


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## FePa

Lizabeth said:


> As fellow ENFP I have to ask what those GenY tendencies are (maybe I can fake being a GenY - i.e., younger than I actually am? hmmm....)


I'm a bad example (or maybe a good one) because I am TOTALLY a Generation Y in my heart and soul
Stupid ID that insists on telling me I belong to the X...

but you sound younger too, Liz
Guess we ENFPs have this trait after all


*winks at @Mr.Venture on her way out - nice to see you here puppet*


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## FePa

Turlowe said:


> Born in 68 so yes, another GenX'r here. Plus I liked the band Generation X a lot so I guess that doubles me, GenXX, now where can I find another X.


Technically you are XY and you are looking for another XX

:tongue:

*INTJs have been rubbing on me, passed their OCD-ness, sorry, sorry*


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## Mr.Venture

FePa said:


> I'm a bad example (or maybe a good one) because I am TOTALLY a Generation Y in my heart and soul
> Stupid ID that insists on telling me I belong to the X...
> 
> but you sound younger too, Liz
> Guess we ENFPs have this trait after all
> 
> 
> *winks at @Mr.Venture on her way out - nice to see you here puppet*


I think you meant _poppet_ dear. *grins as he watches you go*

@Lizabeth GenYs, as I understand, are supposed to be quite optimistic, idealistic, and rather full of themselves. NFs in general are supposed to be quite idealistic as a group. Ps, in general, are more optimistic than Js in their outlook ("things will just work out guys"). An', if snarky comments from the other types are to be believed, we ENFPs are far too eager to promote our own type. (Must be 'cause they're jealous.)

*smug smile*


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## FePa

Mr.Venture said:


> I think you meant _poppet_ dear. *grins as he watches you go*
> 
> @Lizabeth GenYs, as I understand, are supposed to be quite optimistic, idealistic, and rather full of themselves. NFs in general are supposed to be quite idealistic as a group. Ps, in general, are more optimistic than Js in their outlook ("things will just work out guys"). An', if snarky comments from the other types are to be believed, we ENFPs are far too eager to promote our own type. (Must be 'cause they're jealous.)
> 
> *smug smile*


:wink:
ops


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## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> I think you meant _poppet_ dear. *grins as he watches you go*
> 
> @Lizabeth GenYs, as I understand, are supposed to be quite optimistic, idealistic, and rather full of themselves. NFs in general are supposed to be quite idealistic as a group. Ps, in general, are more optimistic than Js in their outlook ("things will just work out guys"). An', if snarky comments from the other types are to be believed, we ENFPs are far too eager to promote our own type. (Must be 'cause they're jealous.)
> 
> *smug smile*


Lol -- shhh! You're doing nothing to help us dispel the stereotype!

But I think @FePa is right about us just seeming younger than we actually are. I'm really just a big old kid who dons the persona of an adult when she has to. And yeah, I'm pretty proud of being an ENFP too. *slyly winks at Mr. Venture)


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## Mr.Venture

Lizabeth said:


> Lol -- shhh! You're doing nothing to help us dispel the stereotype!
> 
> But I think @FePa is right about us just seeming younger than we actually are. I'm really just a big old kid who dons the persona of an adult when she has to. And yeah, I'm pretty proud of being an ENFP too. *slyly winks at Mr. Venture)


*catches Liz's wink and tosses one back*

Yeah, I reckon our type really holds onto its innocence - maybe only slightly less vigorously than Peter Pan ever did. I certainly don't complain. As years go by, it's nice to know I never lost a bit of the kid in me.


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## FePa

More than the kid in us, is this will to dig the good side from everything. 
I really see no point in viewing things as fixed, like, oh see, no exit in this road, game over.
Why??
Er, let's turn around, let's climb the wall, let's destroy that roadblock!!
Or let's sit down and make out until something happen
*winks at @Mr.Venture AND @Lizabeth*


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## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> More than the kid in us, is this will to dig the good side from everything.
> I really see no point in viewing things as fixed, like, oh see, no exit in this road, game over.
> Why??
> Er, let's turn around, let's climb the wall, let's destroy that roadblock!!
> Or let's sit down and make out until something happen
> *winks at @Mr.Venture AND @Lizabeth*


Yes, that's it! I totally agree. Let's go smash some mountains! :happy:


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## Laeona

'73 I am an X-er roud: And definitely have that younger persona going for me. We're all so camouflaged. :ninja:


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## Lizabeth

Laeona said:


> '73 I am an X-er roud: And definitely have that younger persona going for me. We're all so camouflaged. :ninja:


Hola Laeona!


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## Laeona

@Lizabeth Look at all the ENFP's in here! This is awesome. Great party you started


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## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> No worries. We can pick this up another day. *fetches warm milk* Go get a good sleep, darlin'.
> @willow the wisp, I didn't forget you either. *brings you a blanket and a glass of wine*
> 
> *settles onto the couch with his notebook*


Thank you, my sweet Venture. What a gentleman you are. :kitteh:


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## Mr.Venture

Lizabeth said:


> Thank you, my sweet Venture. What a gentleman you are. :kitteh:


And you're a total sweetheart. Doux rêves.


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## Mr.Venture

Hey @willow the wisp, how are you feelin' today?


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## will-o'-wisp

Mr.Venture said:


> Hey @_willow the wisp_, how are you feelin' today?


Aw, thanks for asking! I had a bad start but picked up throughout the day and now I feel kind of high! Lol
Just need to twist things round in my head sometimes so I can see them from a new angle

How are you Mr V?


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## Mr.Venture

willow the wisp said:


> Aw, thanks for asking! I had a bad start but picked up throughout the day and now I feel kind of high! Lol
> Just need to twist things round in my head sometimes so I can see them from a new angle
> 
> How are you Mr V?


Doing better as well m'dear. I also just needed some time to sit with my pain, find some healthy outlets, and then deconstruct it. *sips coffee* One thing I notice when I look at those messages I'm telling myself is just how often the words "never" and "always" crop up.
"I'll never be happy again."
"I always mess things up."
"I'll destroy everything I care about." (Not exactly the same, but similar enough.)

I'm not a huge fan of using CBT in my practice with clients - I've got a much more experiential leaning - but spotting those distortions has proved helpful in examining my thoughts at times.

Currently I'm looking forward to my first class of the new school year. Marriage and Family Therapy: Children and Adolescents. You?


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## will-o'-wisp

Mr.Venture said:


> Doing better as well m'dear. I also just needed some time to sit with my pain, find some healthy outlets, and then deconstruct it. *sips coffee* One thing I notice when I look at those messages I'm telling myself is just how often the words "never" and "always" crop up.
> "I'll never be happy again."
> "I always mess things up."
> "I'll destroy everything I care about." (Not exactly the same, but similar enough.)
> 
> I'm not a huge fan of using CBT in my practice with clients - I've got a much more experiential leaning - but spotting those distortions has proved helpful in examining my thoughts at times.
> 
> Currently I'm looking forward to my first class of the new school year. Marriage and Family Therapy: Children and Adolescents. You?


Very interesting stuff. It sounds like a satisfying thing to do.....counselling interests me. *hands you a cookie* I'm meant to be learning new pieces of music for work but am uninspired because it's for the elderly and it's not exactly getting me grooving! Need to just f..f...f..f...FOCUS *squints*


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## Mr.Venture

*takes cookie* Aren't you the sweetest. *smiles*

*crumbles* Mind if I ask what kind of music, or are you just wanting to f...f...f...f...Focus?


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## Mr.Venture

Dang! The class got shifted to another day. Ah, the joys of graduate school.

*heads to the beer vendor and then home*


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## Lizabeth

@willow the wisp and @Mr.Venture -- glad to hear you're both feeling better today. 

Willow -- you're a musician? We should form a Gen X PerC band or something with all the musically inclined people here...hmmm...what would we call ourselves...?

Are you working on your masters Mr. V? kudos to you, sir!


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## Mr.Venture

Lizabeth said:


> @willow the wisp and @Mr.Venture -- glad to hear you're both feeling better today.
> 
> Willow -- you're a musician? We should form a Gen X PerC band or something with all the musically inclined people here...hmmm...what would we call ourselves...?
> 
> Are you working on your masters Mr. V? kudos to you, sir!


The Tonal Types? *grins*

How's your day treated you @Lizabeth?


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## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> The Tonal Types? *grins*
> 
> How's your day treated you @Lizabeth?


It was busy. I'm a little mentally tired. Things were crazy at work and then I went to the gym and paid my 22 year old trainer to torture me. I'm wiped!


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## Mr.Venture

Lizabeth said:


> It was busy. I'm a little mentally tired. Things were crazy at work and then I went to the gym and paid my 22 year old trainer to torture me. I'm wiped!


Did I ever tell you the very first thing I saved up for and bought with money from a steady job was a professional massage table? No joke! I had just gotten back from Vancouver Island and received my first real massage when I was there - hot stone therapy. I was so enamored with the idea of giving the same kind of pleasure that I had received in that massage, that I saved up and ordered one of those 50lb fold outs. (I was with someone at the time who was perfectly happy to let me practice *winks*) Taught myself to give a full-body Swedish massage.

When I left that province, even though I could only take what I could pack in the car, I still took it with me. Still have it even - eight years going now. I only mention it for obvious reasons. *smiles*


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## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> Did I ever tell you the very first thing I saved up for and bought with money from a steady job was a professional massage table? No joke! I had just gotten back from Vancouver Island and received my first real massage when I was there - hot stone therapy. I was so enamored with the idea of giving the same kind of pleasure that I had received in that massage, that I saved up and ordered one of those 50lb fold outs. (I was with someone at the time who was perfectly happy to let me practice *winks*) Taught myself to give a full-body Swedish massage.
> 
> When I left that province, even though I could only take what I could pack in the car, I still took it with me. Still have it even - eight years going now. I only mention it for obvious reasons. *smiles*


What a minute...you're a fellow Canuck? How did I not know this! *enfolding my fellow Canadian in a warm patriotic embrace* ...yeah we'll call it patriotic :wink:


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## Mr.Venture

Lizabeth said:


> What a minute...you're a fellow Canuck? How did I not know this! *enfolding my fellow Canadian in a warm patriotic embrace* ...yeah we'll call it patriotic :wink:


*takes you in* You certainly got my flag wavin' *whole body hug* Yuppers, born in the north, raised in the north, moved all over the north too. My ma's an american, so I'm dual, and I spent some time in Europe, but otherwise Canadian through and through.


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## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> *takes you in* You certainly got my flag wavin' *whole body hug* Yuppers, born in the north, raised in the north, moved all over the north too. My ma's an american, so I'm dual, and I spent some time in Europe, but otherwise Canadian through and through.


lol -- it took my innocent li'l mind a double take to understand your double entendre there...or am I the one who is being dirty minded?


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## Mr.Venture

Lizabeth said:


> lol -- it took my innocent li'l mind a double take to understand your double entendre there...or am I the one who is being dirty minded?


Darlin', I haven't the faintest idea what you're talkin' about. *straightens his tie, straightens his jacket, and goes to grab a beer totally pantsless*


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## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> Darlin', I haven't the faintest idea what you're talkin' about. *straightens his tie, straightens his jacket, and goes to grab a beer totally pantsless*


:blushed:

Wow! Now you've just blown my innocent li'l mind...


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## Mr.Venture

Lizabeth said:


> :blushed:
> 
> Wow! Now you've just blown my innocent li'l mind...


You should see me in the SnR thread when I'm walkin' around with my licorice battlewhip. *mischievous grin*


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## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> You should see me in the SnR thread when I'm walkin' around with my licorice battlewhip. *mischievous grin*


I think I should get myself to bed before you get me into trouble. *leaves the door unlocked...* 

Goodnight!


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## Mr.Venture

Lizabeth said:


> I think I should get myself to bed before you get me into trouble. *leaves the door unlocked...*
> 
> Goodnight!


*stands pantsless* Always a pleasure Liz *smiles*


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## Laeona

*glancing around the now empty room, she takes a cookie...and relaxes*


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## Mr.Venture

Laeona said:


> *glancing around the now empty room, she takes a cookie...and relaxes*


*wanders by* Love your avie. Firefly rocks. *walks out, still pants-less*


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## Laeona




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## will-o'-wisp

Mr.Venture said:


> *takes cookie* Aren't you the sweetest. *smiles*
> 
> *crumbles* Mind if I ask what kind of music, or are you just wanting to f...f...f...f...Focus?


a variety of harp stuff. My favourite is traditional English and Irish but anything goes. *tops up your coffee* oh, or are you still on the beer?



Lizabeth said:


> @_willow the wisp_ and @_Mr.Venture_ -- glad to hear you're both feeling better today.
> 
> Willow -- you're a musician? We should form a Gen X PerC band or something with all the musically inclined people here...hmmm...what would we call ourselves...?
> 
> Are you working on your masters Mr. V? kudos to you, sir!


Like the sound of that.....Tonal Types is good, or Feel My Bass (I don't mean the fish)


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## will-o'-wisp

Laeona said:


> *glancing around the now empty room, she takes a cookie...and relaxes*


Let's have some hot drinks with alcohol. 

Hot chocolate but I don't have any Amaretto to go in it. *looks around for @mimesis *


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## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> *wanders by* Love your avie. Firefly rocks. *walks out, still pants-less*


Mr. Venture, your really need to put your pants back on! :laughing:

You were very naughty last night. We might have to ground you to teach you how to behave among ladies :wink: We're going to scare all the non FP types away if you keep carrying on like that!


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## Lizabeth

Laeona said:


>


:laughing: I love Sherlock. And Benedict Cumberbatch I just started watching during a marathon they had on Tv in the summer. I have to find out when the new seasons starts.


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## Mr.Venture

Hey all! *wanders in with a stack of books and a coffee, clearly in a rush* *dressed in a red button down, undershirt and, yes, fashionable slacks*

It's lunch during a training day at work. *speaking quickly* All day today and tomorrow. First evening class is tomorrow as well, plus I'm going try going to the gym today for the first time since breaking my toe. Wish me luck. *coffee mug is in his teeth, but he still manages a stupidly wide grin*
@Laeona, that was a brilliant clip. So glad you could meet my earlier pantslessness with grace like that. *gentle smile*
@willow the wisp, @Lizabeth, this is becoming a sort of bookstore cafe experience from the rest of PerC. I'm truly appreciating the relaxed atmosphere we're developing here. Hot drinks for everyone!

More later! *wanders out, showing remarkable agility with a stack that nearly topples twice*


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## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> Hey all! *wanders in with a stack of books and a coffee, clearly in a rush* *dressed in a red button down, undershirt and, yes, fashionable slacks*
> 
> It's lunch during a training day at work. *speaking quickly* All day today and tomorrow. First evening class is tomorrow as well, plus I'm going try going to the gym today for the first time since breaking my toe. Wish me luck.


Good luck! And let me know if you need a foot massage later. Or you know...whatever. (Do I really need to insert a wink here?)


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## will-o'-wisp

Mr.Venture said:


> Hey all! *wanders in with a stack of books and a coffee, clearly in a rush* *dressed in a red button down, undershirt and, yes, fashionable slacks*
> 
> It's lunch during a training day at work. *speaking quickly* All day today and tomorrow. First evening class is tomorrow as well, plus I'm going try going to the gym today for the first time since breaking my toe. Wish me luck. *coffee mug is in his teeth, but he still manages a stupidly wide grin*
> @_Laeona_, that was a brilliant clip. So glad you could meet my earlier pantslessness with grace like that. *gentle smile*
> @_willow the wisp_, @_Lizabeth_, this is becoming a sort of bookstore cafe experience from the rest of PerC. I'm truly appreciating the relaxed atmosphere we're developing here. Hot drinks for everyone!
> 
> More later! *wanders out, showing remarkable agility with a stack that nearly topples twice*


*admires your slacks*
Lunch time, all day _and _tomorrow?!?! Wow, the gym may be needed after that much food!
Which toe got broken? @Lizabeth wine....red or white?


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## Lizabeth

willow the wisp said:


> *admires your slacks*
> Lunch time, all day _and _tomorrow?!?! Wow, the gym may be needed after that much food!
> Which toe got broken? @Lizabeth wine....red or white?


Hmm...if I'm drinking wine I usually go with red. But confession: I hate the taste! (I know, I'm not a real grownup). But if you have some cheap champagne I'll go with that -- I like the sweet stuff and apparently that's the stuff that's declasse! Yep, not a real grownup. 

And @Mr.Venture, honey, I just realized something. Are you implying that yout ake your pants off at bookstore cafes? :shocked: And umm...where exactly are these cafes? :kitteh:


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## Mr.Venture

*comes back sans books and a little bit sweatier* *shirt sleeves rolled up, he plops himself down on the couch*



Lizabeth said:


> Good luck! And let me know if you need a foot massage later. Or you know...whatever. (Do I really need to insert a wink here?)


*leans over to give you a kiss on the cheek* Don't need no foot rub darlin', but I'll be happy to get you just the same. *genuine smile* *takes up your legs on his lap and begins massaging the calves* *strong hands*



willow the wisp said:


> *admires your slacks*
> Lunch time, all day _and _tomorrow?!?! Wow, the gym may be needed after that much food!
> Which toe got broken? @Lizabeth wine....red or white?


*while massaging* It was the big one on the right foot and... Oof!... Kept me outta the gym for a month now. I just went back to lift weights (I was working a routine for my shoulders when it happened) and realized I lost quite a bit of progress already. A bit disheartenin', but I've had to take breaks before. The advantage of going in to the gym with the plan to keep goin' is no individual setback has to be too bad. Get back on the treadmill an' that progress will come back, right?



Lizabeth said:


> Hmm...if I'm drinking wine I usually go with red. But confession: I hate the taste! (I know, I'm not a real grownup). But if you have some cheap champagne I'll go with that -- I like the sweet stuff and apparently that's the stuff that's declasse! Yep, not a real grownup.
> 
> And @Mr.Venture, honey, I just realized something. Are you implying that yout ake your pants off at bookstore cafes? :shocked: And umm...where exactly are these cafes? :kitteh:


Okay, maybe it's just a really comfy living room... In a boarding house... Near Union Station... Sometime near New Year's. *grins again*


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## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> *comes back sans books and a little bit sweatier* *shirt sleeves rolled up, he plops himself down on the couch*
> 
> 
> 
> *leans over to give you a kiss on the cheek* Don't need no foot rub darlin', but I'll be happy to get you just the same. *genuine smile* *takes up your legs on his lap and begins massaging the calves* *strong hands*
> 
> Okay, maybe it's just a really comfy living room... In a boarding house... Near Union Station... Sometime near New Year's. *grins again*


Lol - you rogue you! *playfully slaps Mr.V's arm*. But mmm....yeah...that feels nice *languidly lays back on the couch and relaxes* just what I needed. I've had a rough day.


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## Mr.Venture

Lizabeth said:


> Lol - you rogue you! *playfully slaps Mr.V's arm*. But mmm....yeah...that feels nice *languidly lays back on the couch and relaxes* just what I needed. I've had a rough day.


*grins at the slap* Don't hit me, this is me relaxing too. Feel like sayin' any more or *firm stroke* should I just keep doin' what I'm doin'?


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## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> *grins at the slap* Don't hit me, this is me relaxing too. Feel like sayin' any more or *firm stroke* should I just keep doin' what I'm doin'?


Oh, keep going...it's nice to be pampered. 

It wasn't really a bad day per se. It was actually one of those days where I came out of it thinking "I'm pretty damn good at my job!" But I didn't sleep well last night (I'll blame you for getting me all hot and bothered) and then my allergies kicked in so I felt really tired and a bit scattered. And it was a day where there were a lot of people wanting different things from me, so I felt like I was running and not really getting as much time as I'd like to focus and reflect. So given all that, the fact that I actually felt like I did a good job today with the main issue that I had to deal with (the one that directly affected my client) is pretty satisfying. The rest of the stuff was basically ENFP-bane -- paper work and organization!


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## Mr.Venture

Lizabeth said:


> Oh, keep going...it's nice to be pampered.
> 
> It wasn't really a bad day per se. It was actually one of those days where I came out of it thinking "I'm pretty damn good at my job!" But I didn't sleep well last night (I'll blame you for getting me all hot and bothered) and then my allergies kicked in so I felt really tired and a bit scattered. And it was a day where there were a lot of people wanting different things from me, so I felt like I was running and not really getting as much time as I'd like to focus and reflect. So given all that, the fact that I actually felt like I did a good job today with the main issue that I had to deal with (the one that directly affected my client) is pretty satisfying. The rest of the stuff was basically ENFP-bane -- paper work and organization!


*keeps massaging* *wow, he _must_ work out!* I hear what you mean. Though the new job is great, it's making barely any use of my therapy skills. They want me to do a lot of research, writing, and computer work instead. Can't say I see myself givin' up therapy as long as I'm in school (practica), but if I'm still in the same job afterward I'm gonna have to chase my passion in some other way.

*kneads the bottom of your feet* But is sounds like you're pretty proud of yourself nonetheless.


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## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> *keeps massaging* *wow, he _must_ work out!* I hear what you mean. Though the new job is great, it's making barely any use of my therapy skills. They want me to do a lot of research, writing, and computer work instead. Can't say I see myself givin' up therapy as long as I'm in school (practica), but if I'm still in the same job afterward I'm gonna have to chase my passion in some other way.
> 
> *kneads the bottom of your feet* But is sounds like you're pretty proud of yourself nonetheless.


Yeah. I've been working on a different strategy from my usual. I think it still fits me, but I'm trying to learn how to be more direct and assertive with my coworkers and clients rather than my usual -- honestly, sometimes wishy washy -- attempts to collaborate and perserve harmony. Not that I'm giving up the latter -- collaboration and harmony feeds my soul. But I'm trying to avoid getting into these ruts where I'm being all soft and encouraging to no effect. I'm working on being more authorative when I need to be. And it's working, and I feel good about it. 

You're such a good listener Mr. V. And wow, your hands are so powerful but gentle. *leans head on Mr.Venture's shoulder and snuggles in with a sigh*

How long do you plan to be in schol for?


----------



## Mr.Venture

Lizabeth said:


> Yeah. I've been working on a different strategy from my usual. I think it still fits me, but I'm trying to learn how to be more direct and assertive with my coworkers and clients rather than my usual -- honestly, sometimes wishy washy -- attempts to collaborate and perserve harmony. Not that I'm giving up the latter -- collaboration and harmony feeds my soul. But I'm trying to avoid getting into these ruts where I'm being all soft and encouraging to no effect. I'm working on being more authorative when I need to be. And it's working, and I feel good about it.
> 
> You're such a good listener Mr. V. And wow, your hands are so powerful but gentle. *leans head on Mr.Venture's shoulder and snuggles in with a sigh*
> 
> How long do you plan to be in schol for?


*gives up the massage in favor of the arm around for snuggles*

I can totally relate to the "giving up the preserving harmony in favor of being assertive". I think the only NFs I know who are fairly comfortable with that are INFJs - maybe ENFJs. I've also had to "learn how to develop my Te" in favor of assertiveness. It has its own strange way of preserving peace too. Conflict can produce respect under the right circumstances, and that's especially useful when there is a hierarchy involved.

*deep breath* Ahhh... I do enjoy the smell of a good woman next to me. *relaxed smile*

School is brutal. It's been five years, and it'll be three more before I'm done. All just for a masters degree! Good thing it's a profession I'm passionate about. *grins* *gives a squeeze*


----------



## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> *gives up the massage in favor of the arm around for snuggles*
> 
> I can totally relate to the "giving up the preserving harmony in favor of being assertive". I think the only NFs I know who are fairly comfortable with that are INFJs - maybe ENFJs. I've also had to "learn how to develop my Te" in favor of assertiveness. It has its own strange way of preserving peace too. Conflict can produce respect under the right circumstances, and that's especially useful when there is a hierarchy involved.


Well, it's been helpful to delve into the personality type stuff and to gain insight from people on this site. Helped me better understand how I need to deal with my direct supervisor, who I figured out is an ESFP. He really does/want need me to just tell him what I'm going to do and what I want from him, rather than trying to engage him in a collaborative discussion about it. It goes against the grain of how I like to work, but I'm finding that (so far) this approach is a lot more successful for him and making me feel less drained. And I notice that my coworkers are more responsive to my recommendations when I state them with authority rather than my usual approach (e.g., "Well, i wonder if we should ..." or "Do you think that..."). I would have thought the opposite would be true, but go figure *shrugs* 



Mr.Venture said:


> *deep breath* Ahhh... I do enjoy the smell of a good woman next to me. *relaxed smile*


I'm glad you like it. I'm just freshly showered. 



Mr.Venture said:


> School is brutal. It's been five years, and it'll be three more before I'm done. All just for a masters degree! Good thing it's a profession I'm passionate about.


Wow, that would be tough. And I take it that you're doing school part time while working. How do you juggle that as an ENFP? I don't think I'd be able to do it with my tendency to procrastinate and to get overwhelmed when I have too many separate but equally demanding spheres to juggle. But I agree, passion does help. That's basically the reason that I made it through grad school. Passion, ambtion, and the fact that after doing it for so long, it would have been silly for me to just quit before I had reached my goal. 




Mr.Venture said:


> *grins* *gives a squeeze*


Just what are you squeezing sir? 

Wait, don't answer that...

Oh, and on another note, I did get a chance to read that HuffPo article about 30 year old single men that you posted. It was interesting. Where would you say that you fall on the spectrum?


----------



## Mr.Venture

Lizabeth said:


> Well, it's been helpful to delve into the personality type stuff and to gain insight from people on this site. Helped me better understand how I need to deal with my direct supervisor, who I figured out is an ESFP. He really does/want need me to just tell him what I'm going to do and what I want from him, rather than trying to engage him in a collaborative discussion about it. It goes against the grain of how I like to work, but I'm finding that (so far) this approach is a lot more successful for him and making me feel less drained. And I notice that my coworkers are more responsive to my recommendations when I state them with authority rather than my usual approach (e.g., "Well, i wonder if we should ..." or "Do you think that..."). I would have thought the opposite would be true, but go figure *shrugs*


That's very good you were able to reach a new balance with your supervisor like that. Personality theory can help in workplace relations like that - though the two people still need to be healthy. I'm a pretty likable guy (so what? I know it!), and I've had a few bosses who let their insecurities to most of their management. Unfortunately, if a person is insecure and in a position of power, trying to give them what they want often actually feeds that insecurity. Maybe an S would've fared better - actually, I fared pretty well all things considered - but it certainly helps when everyone can keep their emotions in check to begin with.





Lizabeth said:


> I'm glad you like it. I'm just freshly showered.


Is _that_ why you smell nice? I just assumed. *winks*



Lizabeth said:


> Wow, that would be tough. And I take it that you're doing school part time while working. How do you juggle that as an ENFP? I don't think I'd be able to do it with my tendency to procrastinate and to get overwhelmed when I have too many separate but equally demanding spheres to juggle. But I agree, passion does help. That's basically the reason that I made it through grad school. Passion, ambtion, and the fact that after doing it for so long, it would have been silly for me to just quit before I had reached my goal.


It's much easier to juggle these things when I'm the only person I really need to look after. I've definitely gotten overwhelmed at times, usually when I get sick, or I'm not able to keep up my self-care, or I suffer some other setback. It's definitely difficult, but problems come in all shapes. Some students in the program are parents - lots of 'em actually. I imagine they often benefit from havin' a loving partner at home able to help them out, but they have their own struggles. No one gets it easy and, while I'm certainly in the minority, there are other singles there too.

Yup, passion helps a lot. *smiles*



Lizabeth said:


> Just what are you squeezing sir?
> 
> Wait, don't answer that...
> 
> Oh, and on another note, I did get a chance to read that HuffPo article about 30 year old single men that you posted. It was interesting. Where would you say that you fall on the spectrum?


I wasn't entirely sure. Of course, bein' an ENFP, I immediately saw myself in each and every one. *laughs* *wipes a tear* Someone else thought I might be a 6, but I suspect if I'm a 6, I'm one of those annoying late stage ones who beginning to fully appreciate the fact that he's got some pull. Silly really 'cause, if I look back with an objective eye, from late high school on I didn't have too much poor luck with the fairer sex. Having said that, it's only these days that I'm really starting to internalize the notion that I'm appealing with or without the results to back it up. That, and the quality of relationships has measurably matured.

I honestly don't know which type I am though. 'Course, they're broad strokes, but there was definitely a hint of truth in them too. However, each time I try to read it again, inside I want to curl up into a ball and bawl my eyes out. *laughs* Probably ain't healthy for me to give it too much thought beyond recognizing that!


----------



## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> That's very good you were able to reach a new balance with your supervisor like that. Personality theory can help in workplace relations like that - though the two people still need to be healthy. I'm a pretty likable guy (so what? I know it!), and I've had a few bosses who let their insecurities to most of their management. Unfortunately, if a person is insecure and in a position of power, trying to give them what they want often actually feeds that insecurity. Maybe an S would've fared better - actually, I fared pretty well all things considered - but it certainly helps when everyone can keep their emotions in check to begin with.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Is _that_ why you smell nice? I just assumed. *winks*
> 
> 
> 
> It's much easier to juggle these things when I'm the only person I really need to look after. I've definitely gotten overwhelmed at times, usually when I get sick, or I'm not able to keep up my self-care, or I suffer some other setback. It's definitely difficult, but problems come in all shapes. Some students in the program are parents - lots of 'em actually. I imagine they often benefit from havin' a loving partner at home able to help them out, but they have their own struggles. No one gets it easy and, while I'm certainly in the minority, there are other singles there too.
> 
> Yup, passion helps a lot. *smiles*
> 
> 
> 
> I wasn't entirely sure. Of course, bein' an ENFP, I immediately saw myself in each and every one. *laughs* *wipes a tear* Someone else thought I might be a 6, but I suspect if I'm a 6, I'm one of those annoying late stage ones who beginning to fully appreciate the fact that he's got some pull. Silly really 'cause, if I look back with an objective eye, from late high school on I didn't have too much poor luck with the fairer sex. Having said that, it's only these days that I'm really starting to internalize the notion that I'm appealing with or without the results to back it up. That, and the quality of relationships has measurably matured.
> 
> I honestly don't know which type I am though. 'Course, they're broad strokes, but there was definitely a hint of truth in them too. However, each time I try to read it again, inside I want to curl up into a ball and bawl my eyes out. *laughs* Probably ain't healthy for me to give it too much thought beyond recognizing that!


Awww, don't cry *gives Venture a hug* I think being able to recognize parts of yourself in some of those broad strokes -- even the parts that you're not necessarily happy about -- can help you figure out where it is that you actually want to go. You'll be okay. *gives Venure an encouraging kiss on the cheek*


----------



## Mr.Venture

Lizabeth said:


> Awww, don't cry *gives Venture a hug* I think being able to recognize parts of yourself in some of those broad strokes -- even the parts that you're not necessarily happy about -- can help you figure out where it is that you actually want to go. You'll be okay. *gives Venure an encouraging kiss on the cheek*


*melted heart* Swear to G-d, ain't nothin' like a kiss on the cheek from a pretty woman to lift a guy's spirits. So good, more men should get one


----------



## will-o'-wisp

Lizabeth said:


> Hmm...if I'm drinking wine I usually go with red. But confession: I hate the taste! (I know, I'm not a real grownup). But if you have some cheap champagne I'll go with that -- I like the sweet stuff and apparently that's the stuff that's declasse! Yep, not a real grownup.
> 
> And @_Mr.Venture_, honey, I just realized something. Are you implying that yout ake your pants off at bookstore cafes? :shocked: And umm...where exactly are these cafes? :kitteh:


Bucks Fizz it is! *pours*
I suppose we should be classy and drink from glasses 



Mr.Venture said:


> *while massaging* It was the big one on the right foot and... Oof!... Kept me outta the gym for a month now. I just went back to lift weights (I was working a routine for my shoulders when it happened) and realized I lost quite a bit of progress already. A bit disheartenin', but I've had to take breaks before. The advantage of going in to the gym with the plan to keep goin' is no individual setback has to be too bad. Get back on the treadmill an' that progress will come back, right?


Yeah, a few weeks off isn't going to set you back too far .... but why a treadmill, why not get out and see some sights? Think of all those lady runners out there


----------



## mimesis

willow the wisp said:


> Let's have some hot drinks with alcohol.
> 
> Hot chocolate but I don't have any Amaretto to go in it. *looks around for @mimesis *


Just say the magic word, hun...










Oh, this is iced coffee, btw.


----------



## Mr.Venture

mimesis said:


> Just say the magic word, hun...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Oh, this is iced coffee, btw.


Om nom 



willow the wisp said:


> Bucks Fizz it is! *pours*
> I suppose we should be classy and drink from glasses
> 
> 
> Yeah, a few weeks off isn't going to set you back too far .... but why a treadmill, why not get out and see some sights? Think of all those lady runners out there


Lolz. I do happen to have a thing for women jogging and on bikes. ;-)

No, treadmill in this case, was figurative. The gym I go to runs classes, and that usually how I get most of my workout. It's a boxing gym too, so we spar. They also have weights, so I do weights there as well. I'd have to watch myself too much for the classes, and sparring would be dangerous 'cause I'm a southpaw, so I went back yesterday to go back to the weight routine. I had been tracking my results (I love this iPad), and I clearly lost some power is all. The body looks almost the same, but the data says I've lifted more is all.


----------



## Lizabeth

willow the wisp said:


> Bucks Fizz it is! *pours*
> I suppose we should be classy and drink from glasses


*hiccup* We don't need no stinkin' glasses! *hiccup*


----------



## Lizabeth

mimesis said:


> Just say the magic word, hun...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Oh, this is iced coffee, btw.


That looks pretty. I hate the taste of both alcohol and coffee, but I might take a sip of that!


----------



## will-o'-wisp

mimesis said:


> Just say the magic word, hun...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Oh, this is iced coffee, btw.


Anything *you* pour suits me


----------



## will-o'-wisp

Lizabeth said:


> *hiccup* We don't need no stinkin' glasses! *hiccup*


Unscrews another bottle and drags in a bath


----------



## will-o'-wisp

Mr.Venture said:


> Om nom
> 
> Lolz. I do happen to have a thing for women jogging and on bikes. ;-)
> 
> No, treadmill in this case, was figurative. The gym I go to runs classes, and that usually how I get most of my workout. It's a boxing gym too, so we spar. They also have weights, so I do weights there as well. I'd have to watch myself too much for the classes, and sparring would be dangerous 'cause I'm a southpaw, so I went back yesterday to go back to the weight routine. I had been tracking my results (I love this iPad), and I clearly lost some power is all. The body looks almost the same, but the data says I've lifted more is all.


Well, generally when I'm not on my imaginary bike I'm running. It's a new found interest (not as recently as a few seconds ago!!) and I can't get enough of it.

The gym? Your body? Boxing? Data? *swoon*


----------



## Mr.Venture

willow the wisp said:


> Well, generally when I'm not on my imaginary bike I'm running. It's a new found interest (not as recently as a few seconds ago!!) and I can't get enough of it.
> 
> The gym? Your body? Boxing? Data? *swoon*


*plugs his ears* Willow, you are coming dangerously close to giving me an ego overload. *winks, and unplugs his ears again*

Running is a wonderful activity, so much different than biking. Whereas I find biking involves my being exceptionally tuned in to the world around me, running is an activity where I can tune in entirely with myself. Finding a rhythm, the tunnel-like focus that results, the rising tension and discomfort that I know will melt away if I just keep going... Running is an exceptional feeling.

Plus, I've seen you in that spandex, and that's pretty nice too *belly laughs*


----------



## will-o'-wisp

Mr.Venture said:


> *plugs his ears* Willow, you are coming dangerously close to giving me an ego overload. *winks, and unplugs his ears again*
> 
> Running is a wonderful activity, so much different than biking. Whereas I find biking involves my being exceptionally tuned in to the world around me, running is an activity where I can tune in entirely with myself. Finding a rhythm, the tunnel-like focus that results, the rising tension and discomfort that I know will melt away if I just keep going... Running is an exceptional feeling.
> 
> Plus, I've seen you in that spandex, and that's pretty nice too *belly laughs*


*snaps my spandex at you*
Interesting....it's like biking is extroverted and running more introverted. It's all about mental attitude with running - is biking the same?


----------



## mimesis

willow the wisp said:


> Anything *you* pour suits me





willow the wisp said:


> Unscrews another bottle and drags in a bath


 

Okidoki :tongue:


----------



## will-o'-wisp

mimesis said:


> Okidoki :tongue:


*now *you're talking!

*lights candles, scatters petals, steam rising*


----------



## Mr.Venture

mimesis said:


> Okidoki :tongue:


 @mimesis, you're a genius! *rolls up his sleeves* I think I brought something a little more colorful too.

*grins* *turns off the lights leaving a uv lamp on* How's this?











willow the wisp said:


> *snaps my spandex at you*
> Interesting....it's like biking is extroverted and running more introverted. It's all about mental attitude with running - is biking the same?


*get's lost for a second* *recovers*

I'm pretty sure I approach biking in a mixed sense, but mostly still introverted. I'm still tied in to all the body processes going on but, when you have to be aware of traffic and pedestrians in the city like I do, it pays to turn that attention outward. I'm still alone inside my own head, though, and it's more so with running.

Do that thing where you snap your spandex again. *smiles*


----------



## will-o'-wisp

Mr.Venture said:


> @_mimesis_, you're a genius! *rolls up his sleeves* I think I brought something a little more colorful too.
> 
> *grins* *turns off the lights leaving a uv lamp on* How's this?
> 
> View attachment 194114
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *get's lost for a second* *recovers*
> 
> I'm pretty sure I approach biking in a mixed sense, but mostly still introverted. I'm still tied in to all the body processes going on but, when you have to be aware of traffic and pedestrians in the city like I do, it pays to turn that attention outward. I'm still alone inside my own head, though, and it's more so with running.
> 
> Do that thing where you snap your spandex again. *smiles*


Purrrrrrr...fect

*_*SNAP*_* ouch!!

Who's getting in first? Gentlemen?


----------



## Mr.Venture

*weak in the knees* Ooooh my... *still smiling, now with an eye twinkle*

*comes close, puts an arm around you, and looks very comfortable* Unfortunately, darlin', class is calling me. I'm gonna have to duck out until later, but I'm sure Mimesis can keep you entertained *looks over at Mimesis* and he better! *grins*

*gives your side a pinch* I'll be back shortly, though, an' full of youthful enthusiasm, so don't wander off. *winks*

*waves* Later all!
@Laeona, come join the party! I promise I won't get pants-less again without fair warnin' this time.


----------



## mimesis

Mr.Venture said:


> @mimesis, you're a genius! *rolls up his sleeves* I think I brought something a little more colorful too.
> 
> *grins* *turns off the lights leaving a uv lamp on* How's this?


Lol. If that ain't gen-x I don't know what is... :laughing:


----------



## mimesis

willow the wisp said:


> Purrrrrrr...fect
> 
> *_*SNAP*_* ouch!!
> 
> Who's getting in first? Gentlemen?


Um...














At 3:30

I'm kidding. I mean we're Gen-X right?


----------



## Lizabeth

I see you all started the party without me *sigh*

Oooh, pretty lights. Pretty drinks. Y'all know how to party like it's 1999! I'll provide the music 






Oh wait...wrong mood... let me try this one


----------



## Lizabeth

willow the wisp said:


> Aww, you boys are so shy! *steam obscures view, and suddenly I'm in the bath with excessive soap suds*
> 
> C'mon everyone! *slaps the water* this bath has magical growing properties to accommodate any number of people  @Lizabeth ?


lol Willow -- we WOULD have used the bath last night, but then you disappeared on us and you took all the soap bubbles with you. But okay, I'm in! 

*jumps in with a splash* 

And you missed a great dance party. You'll have to do it again sometime so you can show us your awesoe tunes and radical dance moves!


----------



## Mr.Venture

willow the wisp said:


> Aww, you boys are so shy! *steam obscures view, and suddenly I'm in the bath with excessive soap suds*
> 
> C'mon everyone! *slaps the water* this bath has magical growing properties to accommodate any number of people  @Lizabeth ?


*steps into the bath* *ducks his head underwater* Blublublub- *pops back up with spiky hair and a foam mustache* 

Fantastic idea @willow the wisp! *shakes off foam and sweeps back hair* *leans back between you and @Lizabeth, putting an arm around each* The mornings are starting colder each day 'round these parts. A warm tub with warm folk is most welcome!


----------



## mimesis




----------



## will-o'-wisp

Rubadubdub everyone. I'm a qualified masseuse you know?!
*opens more wine*

Slippery in here isn't it?


----------



## will-o'-wisp

mimesis said:


>


Tsk, I got sand on my .... icecream


----------



## Mr.Venture

willow the wisp said:


> Rubadubdub everyone. I'm a qualified masseuse you know?!
> *opens more wine*
> 
> Slippery in here isn't it?


I am always the one offering massages, I'm totally taking advantage of this!

*runs close against you as he climbs onto the ledge* *dripping with soapy water* Hmm, indeed, it's quite slippery in here. *looks down at his shorts* Umm, I'm going to suggest I lie down on my front for the start of this *belly laughs* but I will take another glass thankyouverymuch.

*stretches his lean form on the ledge, letting one hand trail in the water* *gives Willow's leg a stroke and a squeeze* 

*satisfied hum* Aaaah... I'm all about physical displays of affection. *dreamy smile*
@mimesis, keep hitting us with the tunes. You're an awesome dj.


----------



## will-o'-wisp

Mr.Venture said:


> I am always the one offering massages, I'm totally taking advantage of this!
> 
> *runs close against you as he climbs onto the ledge* *dripping with soapy water* Hmm, indeed, it's quite slippery in here. *looks down at his shorts* Umm, I'm going to suggest I lie down on my front for the start of this *belly laughs* but I will take another glass thankyouverymuch.
> 
> *stretches his lean form on the ledge, letting one hand trail in the water* *gives Willow's leg a stroke and a squeeze*
> 
> *satisfied hum* Aaaah... I'm all about physical displays of affection. *dreamy smile*
> @_mimesis_, keep hitting us with the tunes. You're an awesome dj.


I usually start with the back ... nice canvas to work with and good to relax you instantly, and....ahem....shorts? In a bath? There are bubbles to hide in you know?
*cracks my fingers*


----------



## Mr.Venture

willow the wisp said:


> I usually start with the back ... nice canvas to work with and good to relax you instantly, and....ahem....shorts? In a bath? There are bubbles to hide in you know?
> *cracks my fingers*


*laughs* *squirms pleasantly* I'm not shy. I just promised Leaona I wouldn't go pants-less again without warning. *deep happy sigh* Do whatever you need to make this happen. *still has that dreamy smile* *sips his wine, then goes back to trailing the water and Willow's thigh*


----------



## mimesis

willow the wisp said:


> Tsk, I got sand on my .... icecream


Yummy what are you having...of course Amaretto.










:laughing: *waves at waitor* "I'll have what she has, but without the crunched nuts."


----------



## will-o'-wisp

Mr.Venture said:


> *laughs* *squirms pleasantly* I'm not shy. I just promised Leaona I wouldn't go pants-less again without warning. *deep happy sigh* Do whatever you need to make this happen. *still has that dreamy smile* *sips his wine, then goes back to trailing the water and Willow's thigh*


My thigh?........*somewhat distracted massage strokes*



mimesis said:


> Yummy what are you having...of course Amaretto.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :laughing: *waves at waitor* "I'll have what she has, but without the crunched nuts."


Looks longingly, savouring the anticiation


----------



## Mr.Venture

willow the wisp said:


> My thigh?........*somewhat distracted massage strokes*


Lollercoasters

Sorry. Should focus on one person's pleasure at a time, huh? I do that kind of thing without thinking about it. *removed hand from water and rests his head on it* *enjoys firm hands on his back, warm wood underneath *


----------



## FePa

oooooww cheezzzz...
when our oldies goldies thread became an orgy at th jacuzzi ??

*takes all her clothes, but underwear, do a tchibum slash at the bathtube, leaning on @willow the wisp
"could you fix my neck, girlfriend ? I twisted and it's hurting like hell !*

:-D


----------



## Mr.Venture

FePa said:


> oooooww cheezzzz...
> when our oldies goldies thread became an orgy at th jacuzzi ??
> 
> *takes all her clothes, but underwear, do a tchibum slash at the bathtube, leaning on @willow the wisp
> "could you fix my neck, girlfriend ? I twisted and it's hurting like hell !*
> 
> :-D


You know me FePa, I'm a dangerous man when modesty is the order of the day. *winks*

*gives one more looooong stretch before he sits back up* *dangles his feet in the tub while he sips his wine and enjoys the total care and genuine affection everyone is showing to each other* *reminds himself of people's differing needs for modesty, so discretely covers himself as @willow the wisp shifts to massaging FePa*


----------



## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> *steps into the bath* *ducks his head underwater* Blublublub- *pops back up with spiky hair and a foam mustache*
> 
> Fantastic idea @willow the wisp! *shakes off foam and sweeps back hair* *leans back between you and @Lizabeth, putting an arm around each* The mornings are starting colder each day 'round these parts. A warm tub with warm folk is most welcome!


Mr. V, you're totally picturing yourself as a modern day Hugh Heffner, aren't you! lol


----------



## Lizabeth

mimesis said:


>


I don't know from experience, but from what I've heard sex on the beach is actually very uncomfortable...and messy...and grainy....


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> oooooww cheezzzz...
> when our oldies goldies thread became an orgy at th jacuzzi ??
> 
> *takes all her clothes, but underwear, do a tchibum slash at the bathtube, leaning on @willow the wisp
> "could you fix my neck, girlfriend ? I twisted and it's hurting like hell !*
> 
> :-D


Yay! I was wondering when Feeps would join the party! I thought you forgot all about us. Or I guess the thread was just more boring the last time you were here :tongue:


----------



## Lizabeth

I'm not feeling so hot today, so I probably won't join in all the fun and games, but I hope @memesis doesn't mind if I help out with the DJ'ing -- I think we made a great team last night. 

So to help y'all get in the mood...


----------



## mimesis

Lizabeth said:


> I don't know from experience, but from what I've heard sex on the beach is actually very uncomfortable...and messy...and grainy....


True...I prefer my inflatable!


----------



## Mr.Venture

Lizabeth said:


> I'm not feeling so hot today, so I probably won't join in all the fun and games, but I hope @memesis doesn't mind if I help out with the DJ'ing -- I think we made a great team last night.
> 
> So to help y'all get in the mood...


*gives you a warm towel and a hot apple cider* Hugh Hefner I ain't, and I wouldn't wanna be. Havin' said that, I'm not one to complain when sex walks in and sits on my lap. *rubs your shoulders* But you know me. I switch from dead serious to playful and back again in a matter of heartbeats.

Here, take in the steam. It's good for the passages.

*closes eyes to listen to Prince*


----------



## Lizabeth

Thanks @Mr.Venture. You're such a gentleman. 

Here's another good tune for the tub party....


----------



## mimesis

Just dropping a beat


----------



## Mr.Venture

Lizabeth said:


> Thanks @Mr.Venture. You're such a gentleman.
> 
> Here's another good tune for the tub party....


Classic. I'll still rock this one at karaoke joints, when someone else doesn't beat me to it. ;-)



mimesis said:


> Just dropping a beat


I don't know where you're getting these Mimesis, but you've got much better taste than I ever did back in the day. You must've been djing at some point, no?


----------



## Lizabeth

mimesis said:


> Just dropping a beat


DJ Mimesis, you're introducing me to a whole lot of new old music. And I like it! 



Mr.Venture said:


> Classic. I'll still rock this one at karaoke joints, when someone else doesn't beat me to it. ;-)


You do karaoke? A man after my own heart. I can never convince my friends to do karaoke with me. 

Maybe that's an idea for a future party...karaoke night. I bet us clever NF types could figure out a way to make that happen in the virtual world...I'm too mentally drained to come up with ideas right now.


----------



## Mr.Venture

'Kay, this is still one of my favorite albums *big smile*


----------



## Mr.Venture

I'm on it @Lizabeth. I'm thinkin' either Skype or posted recordings, but we'll figure it out.


----------



## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> 'Kay, this is still one of my favorite albums *big smile*


Awesome song choice! I loved that song too. 

Okay, what about this one?


----------



## mimesis

Mr.Venture said:


> 'Kay, this is still one of my favorite albums *big smile*


I've heard the Prince of Techno Blake Baxter (clip Sexuality), and DJ Dimitri from Deee-lite both on one party once. roud:


----------



## mimesis

Lizabeth said:


> Awesome song choice! I loved that song too.
> 
> Okay, what about this one?


I posted the Dutch original today!

http://personalitycafe.com/showthread.php?p=10553562


----------



## Lizabeth

mimesis said:


> I posted the Dutch original today!
> 
> http://personalitycafe.com/showthread.php?p=10553562


You just HAD to prove that you have more awesome DJ'ing creds than me, didn't you :dry:

Lol, I kid -- that's awesome. I didn't even know that the Bananarama version was a cover.


----------



## Mr.Venture

mimesis said:


> I've heard the Prince of Techno Blake Baxter (clip Sexuality), and DJ Dimitri from Deee-lite both on one party once. roud:


*bows before a electro god*



Lizabeth said:


> Awesome song choice! I loved that song too.
> 
> Okay, what about this one?


Never saw the video before, but I certainly know the song! (Never sang it at karaoke either, but that's just me )

Hmm... Recognize this one?


----------



## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> *bows before a electro god*
> 
> Never saw the video before, but I certainly know the song! (Never sang it at karaoke either, but that's just me )
> 
> Hmm... Recognize this one?



:laughing:

OMG, I've never even heard of this song before! Whoever wrote this had to be an xNXP type! This is nuts (no pun intended -- honestly, I didn't even realize until after I typed it!)...but somehow fascinating. I think it's because it seems kind of Freudian.


----------



## Lizabeth

Well, since we're on the theme of penis-themed Gen X songs....






Obviously, present company is not being referenced by this song choice at all.


----------



## mimesis

Lizabeth said:


> Well, since we're on the theme of penis-themed Gen X songs....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Obviously, present company is not being referenced by this song choice at all.


Lol, I'll see you and raise you okerface:


----------



## mimesis

Now here's a Karaoke challenge :tongue:


----------



## Lizabeth

mimesis said:


> Lol, I'll see you and raise you okerface:


:shocked:

lol, this thread was heading such a clean direction and somehow we managed to completely dirty it up again! I blame @Mr.Venture (he's always at the root of all the naughtiness). 


But okay, Memesis, since you went there. (this one is a little more mainstream though -- I don't have the crazily encyclopedic knowledge of music that you do)


----------



## Mr.Venture

*looks down* Well, I've been out of the water for a while now an' thinkin' about music... *laughs uproariously*
@Lizabeth, I think I know how to fix that, with a little help from you of course:





EDIT: Lolz, I just can't keep up with references like you two can.  That was in reference to Short Short Man


----------



## Mr.Venture

'Kay, here's another. Awesome on my bike when I want pedal hard. *looks down* Yep, it's workin' alright. *grins*


----------



## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> *looks down* Well, I've been out of the water for a while now an' thinkin' about music... *laughs uproariously*
> @<span class="highlight"><i><a href="http://personalitycafe.com/member.php?u=141514" target="_blank">Lizabeth</a></i></span>, I think I know how to fix that, with a little help from you of course:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> EDIT: Lolz, I just can't keep up with references like you two can.  That was in reference to Short Short Man


That's a smooth move there...love that song. Very classy. 

How about this one, in a similar vein....





And by the way, you don't need to worry *glances down at Mr. V.* ...no one would ever describe you as short, and definitely not teeny weenie *wink*


----------



## mimesis

Lizabeth said:


> :shocked:
> 
> lol, this thread was heading such a clean direction and somehow we managed to completely dirty it up again! I blame @Mr.Venture (he's always at the root of all the naughtiness).


Yeah I agree it's @Mr.Venture . I just happen to know a lot of tunes. 

I mean, the naughtiest I ever did is bribing women with my homemade Tiramisu. 
(yes, with Amaretto)


----------



## Lizabeth

mimesis said:


> Yeah I agree it's @Mr.Venture . I just happen to know a lot of tunes.
> 
> I mean, the naughtiest I ever did is bribing women with my homemade Tiramisu.
> (yes, with Amaretto)


lol, don't play so innocent. Combining Amaretto with Tiramisu is downright sinful! *grins*


----------



## Mr.Venture

sittapygmaea said:


> Apropos of the thread title, I am another bona fide gen x infp who is new around these parts. but oops... I seem to have interrupted a private party. Control yourselves, people! Just kidding. I'm amazed at your stamina and amused by your antics. Some of you seem to have posted more in a day than I have in my entire time on PerC. There is clearly a secret source of NF energy available only to those who know the secret password. I knew I shouldn't have skipped school that day:frustrating:


The more time you spend with us, the more we'll rub off on you. *hands you a swizzle-stick back scratcher*



willow the wisp said:


> I was already thoroughly corrupt


*shock and awe*


----------



## Lizabeth

willow the wisp said:


> I was already thoroughly corrupt


Oh Willow, you had me fooled! lol 

I thought you were all sweet and innocent until @Mr.Venture flashed his roguish charm (and other assets) in your direction. 

Well, I'm still going to pretend that Mr. V. was the one who corrupted me *devilish grin quickly replaced by wide-eyed innocent look*


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> Apropos of the thread title, I am another bona fide gen x infp who is new around these parts. but oops... I seem to have interrupted a private party. Control yourselves, people! Just kidding. I'm amazed at your stamina and amused by your antics. Some of you seem to have posted more in a day than I have in my entire time on PerC. There is clearly a secret source of NF energy available only to those who know the secret password. I knew I shouldn't have skipped school that day:frustrating:


Hang with us! We'll get your NF motor up and running in no time!


----------



## Lizabeth

willow the wisp said:


> I was already thoroughly corrupt





Mr.Venture said:


> *shock and awe*


lol Venshy! You seem disappointed that you were not the originator of Ms. Wisp's loss of innocence. 

(sidenote: Willow, flash of inspiration! Maybe you should change your name to Willow the Whip! :wink: )


----------



## Mr.Venture

Lizabeth said:


> lol Venshy! You seem disappointed that you were not the originator of Ms. Wisp's loss of innocence.
> 
> (sidenote: Willow, flash of inspiration! Maybe you should change your name to Willow the Whip! :wink: )


Liz, darlin', I gotta work hard at the office today - but keep this place goin' for me. Help @sittapygmaea get in touch with her inner NF motor. *boyish smile*


----------



## will-o'-wisp

Mr.Venture said:


> The more time you spend with us, the more we'll rub off on you. *hands you a swizzle-stick back scratcher*
> 
> 
> 
> *shock and awe*


Only kidding.....I'm like the girl next door


----------



## FePa

Oldies, goldies NFs, what kind of music you like? 
I'm actually as pleased as new pop songs and 50-60's kind. .. not that much for the ones of our generation. ..


----------



## FePa

willow the wisp said:


> Only kidding.....I'm like the girl next door


*knocks at your door with a cup in hand, hi, could I borrow some sugar for the cake I'm baking?*
*you can come later to eat with me later...*


----------



## Mr.Venture

FePa said:


> Oldies, goldies NFs, what kind of music you like?
> I'm actually as pleased as new pop songs and 50-60's kind. .. not that much for the ones of our generation. ..






A more recent favorite I discovered while playing a snowboarding video game (SSX3). Went ahead and paid for the band's album, and that was a wise choice. *boogies in his office chair*



FePa said:


> *knocks at your door with a cup in hand, hi, could I borrow some sugar for the cake I'm baking?*
> *you can come later to eat with me later...*











One of the few cakes I ever tried making from scratch. Hmm... Maybe I should make it again?


----------



## FePa

Mr.Venture said:


> A more recent favorite I discovered while playing a snowboarding video game (SSX3). Went ahead and paid for the band's album, and that was a wise choice. *boogies in his office chair*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> One of the few cakes I ever tried making from scratch. Hmm... Maybe I should make it again?


Wow very nice!


----------



## Mr.Venture

FePa said:


> Wow very nice!


Not a picture of my actual creations, but I use the same recipe it comes from. *smiles* Thanks FePa!


----------



## kdamazon

Hello  I'm a Generation X-er. Born in '72. INFP. Lovely to find this board. I was starting to feel quite old, lol.


----------



## will-o'-wisp

FePa said:


> *knocks at your door with a cup in hand, hi, could I borrow some sugar for the cake I'm baking?*
> *you can come later to eat with me later...*


I bring you a cup of worms, expectantly grasping a knife and fork in my grubby hands

Oh thanks Missus, I'm famished!


----------



## will-o'-wisp

Mr.Venture said:


> Not a picture of my actual creations, but I use the same recipe it comes from. *smiles* Thanks FePa!


_*And*_​ you cook?! *sigh*


----------



## Mr.Venture

willow the wisp said:


> _*And*_​ you cook?! *sigh*


I cook, iron, box, and tango. I don't dust enough, plan trips in advance (or arrange for accommodations before I get there), and I'm awful with taxes. Even so, you're appreciation is always welcome. 



kdamazon said:


> Hello  I'm a Generation X-er. Born in '72. INFP. Lovely to find this board. I was starting to feel quite old, lol.


Welcome KD, it's good to have you. Yeah, we were talking about this right at the beginning of the thread. There seem to be plenty of younger posters in these forums, and I was especially curious about people's thoughts regarding differences between the age groups in their posting content. Thoughts of your own on the matter?


----------



## kdamazon

Mr.Venture said:


> There seem to be plenty of younger posters in these forums, and I was especially curious about people's thoughts regarding differences between the age groups in their posting content. Thoughts of your own on the matter?


Thank you for the welcome, Mr. Venture. I've noticed that too. Perhaps this up and coming generation is more in touch with their psyche than my generation was. I think that's a good thing, actually. It's only very recently that I've discovered WHY I can't relate to 95% of the world, lol.


----------



## Mr.Venture

kdamazon said:


> Thank you for the welcome, Mr. Venture. I've noticed that too. Perhaps this up and coming generation is more in touch with their psyche than my generation was. I think that's a good thing, actually. It's only very recently that I've discovered WHY I can't relate to 95% of the world, lol.


Ha! Mind you, there must be benefits to having more than a couple of decades under your belt - particularly as a dreamer. There's whole idea of other functions to develop for instance.

Personally, I feel much more comfortable with myself in my mid-30s than I ever did when I was twenty. Is that a guy thing, or a dreamer thing as well?


----------



## FePa

Mr.Venture said:


> Ha! Mind you, there must be benefits to having more than a couple of decades under your belt - particularly as a dreamer. There's whole idea of other functions to develop for instance.
> 
> Personally, I feel much more comfortable with myself in my mid-30s than I ever did when I was twenty. Is that a guy thing, or a dreamer thing as well?


Could be the dreamer maturity, because I feel the same


----------



## Mr.Venture

FePa said:


> Could be the dreamer maturity, because I feel the same


Yes! I don't think we ever lose our powerful imaginations, but I'd guess we do develop a more rounded set of skills and attitudes.


----------



## Mr.Venture

Actually, I feel sad for some of the younger ones. I remember it was a long a painful process finding myself.

Not that I think I've arrived! No, I've made progress though.


----------



## sittapygmaea

Mr.Venture said:


> Will post when I've got the chance. Soon


If this is directed at me, no rush you know! especially since i crashed your pool party with my seriousness. what a buzzkill :wink:


----------



## Mr.Venture

walking tourist said:


> Coming into my own skin has been a slow process that continues to this day (and beyond). When I first found out about my collection of learning and processing disabilities in my 30s, I thought that my feelings of being stupid and defective were just confirmed. But I continue to grow and to understand that I am a unique HSP. I'm still learning how to eject the bullies who have occupied my brain since junior high school, when they told me that I was stupid and ugly. I've also learned that not all bullies are children. Adults who call themselves specialists can be bullies when they describe a kid as being defective, "retarded," emotionally disturbed (my label), and any other number of nonhelpful titles. I'm thinking of writing a book about my life and experiences, partly because I want no kid to go through what I did. Children (and the adults that they become through the passage of time) deserve to be treated with love, respect, and encouragement. Hugs to all and thank you for welcoming me here to this thread.


You are definitely most welcome here Tourist, and I'll nuts-kick anyone who says different. *grins* No I won't but you get the idea.



mimesis said:


> @walking tourist
> 
> I have bullied myself when I was young and it is a regret I have been carrying with me, and will always carry with me. If it helps in any way, the reason why I did this, was in part because deep down I was afraid for rejection myself and felt unworthy of love. I also lived with a false belief that nobody had suffered like me, that it was nothing compared to what I had gone through. I have succeeded in fighting my demons, and part of that process of dealing with the toxic resentment I carried with me was becoming fully aware of the harm I had done to others, that I was not merely a victim but also a perpetrator in a vicious cycle of abuse. I needed to accept both as a part of me, of my life, but it is not what defines me, in a permanent way. I hope you can find a way to accept what happened and to understand its impermanence, and to rid yourself of the deeply seated "bad" object, and see nothing but the love that you are, and are worthy of.


Echoed sentiments. I've been on both sides of the bullying line myself. I was tormented relentlessly as a child, and became a bully to some later on in high school. Mims said it very well - we can opt to look at our own pain and makes the changes necessary to become more compassionate individuals. Even so, I carry my own regret as well *puts an arm on your shoulder* and I hope those regrets can offer you some measure of peace for yourself.



sittapygmaea said:


> If this is directed at me, no rush you know! especially since i crashed your pool party with my seriousness. what a buzzkill :wink:


So _you_ are the one who tattled to Pucca?! Jk. Naw, we needed to tone it down here anyway. The pool party lives on! Just in another thread


----------



## kdamazon

Mr.Venture said:


> Actually, I feel sad for some of the younger ones. I remember it was a long a painful process finding myself.
> 
> Not that I think I've arrived! No, I've made progress though.


You've definitely made some valid points. Now that I think about it, I definitely wouldn't go back to being in my 20's again. I enjoy being 42. There are certainly good points to being "wizened". Perhaps I've been suppressing my inherent "dreaming" need too much, as of late. Been keeping my feet on the ground a bit too often. I suppose the thing that I've missed about my youth was my freedom to dream.


----------



## Mr.Venture

kdamazon said:


> You've definitely made some valid points. Now that I think about it, I definitely wouldn't go back to being in my 20's again. I enjoy being 42. There are certainly good points to being "wizened". Perhaps I've been suppressing my inherent "dreaming" need too much, as of late. Been keeping my feet on the ground a bit too often. I suppose the thing that I've missed about my youth was my freedom to dream.


Engage in any creative outlets Amazon?


----------



## Lizabeth

walking tourist said:


> Coming into my own skin has been a slow process that continues to this day (and beyond). When I first found out about my collection of learning and processing disabilities in my 30s, I thought that my feelings of being stupid and defective were just confirmed. But I continue to grow and to understand that I am a unique HSP. I'm still learning how to eject the bullies who have occupied my brain since junior high school, when they told me that I was stupid and ugly. I've also learned that not all bullies are children. Adults who call themselves specialists can be bullies when they describe a kid as being defective, "retarded," emotionally disturbed (my label), and any other number of nonhelpful titles. I'm thinking of writing a book about my life and experiences, partly because I want no kid to go through what I did. Children (and the adults that they become through the passage of time) deserve to be treated with love, respect, and encouragement. Hugs to all and thank you for welcoming me here to this thread.


Hugs back to you, Tourist. And that's horrible that you had adults, "specialists" use those words to describe you. Glad you figured out that it's not who you are. And what a wonderful idea to share the wisdom that came from your pain with children who may be going through what you did.


----------



## Lizabeth

mimesis said:


> @walking tourist
> 
> I have bullied myself when I was young and it is a regret I have been carrying with me, and will always carry with me. If it helps in any way, the reason why I did this, was in part because deep down I was afraid for rejection myself and felt unworthy of love. I also lived with a false belief that nobody had suffered like me, that it was nothing compared to what I had gone through. I have succeeded in fighting my demons, and part of that process of dealing with the toxic resentment I carried with me was becoming fully aware of the harm I had done to others, that I was not merely a victim but also a perpetrator in a vicious cycle of abuse. I needed to accept both as a part of me, of my life, but it is not what defines me, in a permanent way. I hope you can find a way to accept what happened and to understand its impermanence, and to rid yourself of the deeply seated "bad" object, and see nothing but the love that you are, and are worthy of.


So much wisdom in this thread (and yes, I mean that). Thanks mimesis.


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> If this is directed at me, no rush you know! especially since i crashed your pool party with my seriousness. what a buzzkill :wink:


Seriousness, silliness, it's all good here!


----------



## Glenda Gnome Starr

I am sending you hugs. It hurts to feel unworthy of love and to fear rejection. Our pain is something that we have in common. You are not alone. I am here to support you and to be your friend and to tell you that it is OK to let it go. My love always, from walking tourist.



mimesis said:


> @_walking tourist_
> 
> I have bullied myself when I was young and it is a regret I have been carrying with me, and will always carry with me. If it helps in any way, the reason why I did this, was in part because deep down I was afraid for rejection myself and felt unworthy of love. I also lived with a false belief that nobody had suffered like me, that it was nothing compared to what I had gone through. I have succeeded in fighting my demons, and part of that process of dealing with the toxic resentment I carried with me was becoming fully aware of the harm I had done to others, that I was not merely a victim but also a perpetrator in a vicious cycle of abuse. I needed to accept both as a part of me, of my life, but it is not what defines me, in a permanent way. I hope you can find a way to accept what happened and to understand its impermanence, and to rid yourself of the deeply seated "bad" object, and see nothing but the love that you are, and are worthy of.


----------



## Mr.Venture

My heart is truly warmed by the turn this thread has taken


----------



## kdamazon

Mr.Venture said:


> Engage in any creative outlets Amazon?


Well... I've been a stage actress for over 33 years (45 productions under my belt). I do have an audition coming up in November for a production in February. Looking forward to that.

Previous to being the "adult" that I am now, I used to be highly active in art (pencil drawings, water-colors and the like). Plus I am a musician (piano/singer) and I remember playing every evening after dinner when I was a teenager. Goodness, I haven't done that for a long time. I've also written 3 (un-produced) screenplays as well as a 12 song CD (that CD was a while ago though). Soooo... I guess the only "active" artistic/creative outlet that I'm using is the stage (and that's only occasionally).

You? Mr. Venture?


----------



## FePa

*hugs everyone*
I love to see how we can do serious, playful, heartily, empathic in the thread


----------



## sittapygmaea

@kdamazon What exactly did you mean earlier about missing the freedom to dream/ keeping your feet to firmly on the ground? I thought that might be why venture was asking about your creative outlets, but either way, I'm curious...



kdamazon said:


> Well... I've been a stage actress for over 33 years (45 productions under my belt). I do have an audition coming up in November for a production in February. Looking forward to that.
> 
> Previous to being the "adult" that I am now, I used to be highly active in art (pencil drawings, water-colors and the like). Plus I am a musician (piano/singer) and I remember playing every evening after dinner when I was a teenager. Goodness, I haven't done that for a long time. I've also written 3 (un-produced) screenplays as well as a 12 song CD (that CD was a while ago though). Soooo... I guess the only "active" artistic/creative outlet that I'm using is the stage (and that's only occasionally).
> 
> You? Mr. Venture?


----------



## sittapygmaea

@Mr.Venture How many avatars have you cycled through in the last 24 hours!? I feel there's some game afoot.


----------



## Mr.Venture

kdamazon said:


> Well... I've been a stage actress for over 33 years (45 productions under my belt). I do have an audition coming up in November for a production in February. Looking forward to that.
> 
> Previous to being the "adult" that I am now, I used to be highly active in art (pencil drawings, water-colors and the like). Plus I am a musician (piano/singer) and I remember playing every evening after dinner when I was a teenager. Goodness, I haven't done that for a long time. I've also written 3 (un-produced) screenplays as well as a 12 song CD (that CD was a while ago though). Soooo... I guess the only "active" artistic/creative outlet that I'm using is the stage (and that's only occasionally).
> 
> You? Mr. Venture?


Oof! For both of us! *boyish grin*

I've tried my hand at a lot of arts, most of them performance oriented, but all of them hobbies. I briefly entertained the idea of becoming a musician - I'm a fine blues singer I'll have you know *cocky wink* - but decided I wouldn't enjoy it as a career. I've learned to play somewhere around seven different instruments (most of them poorly *grins*), been on stage for script and improvisation, and written my fair share of angsty teenage poetry. Currently I box, dance tango, and pen erotic short fiction though, of course, I continue to dabble. I list boxing because, in my experience, much of living can be approached with a spirit toward self-expression.

*sips his coffee* Can I ask what type of roles you most enjoy in acting?



sittapygmaea said:


> @Mr.Venture How many avatars have you cycled through in the last 24 hours!? I feel there's some game afoot.


As @FePa can attest, I'm an inveterate flirt on these threads. That was behind the switch to both Mr. Kitten and Mr. Homeless. *roguish wink* However, the last two switches have been related to an _actual_ game I've been playing in the Mafia subforum. It's a game where players attempt to discover the scum in their community before they become outnumbered and killed off. I've made some particularly impressive plays lately, and the switches in avatar since have been to honor that stellar performance. *looks mildly smug over the lip of his coffee cup* It's my first game playing, but I believe I've caused quite a stir. *smiles at a memory, and takes another sip*


----------



## Lizabeth

kdamazon said:


> Well... I've been a stage actress for over 33 years (45 productions under my belt). I do have an audition coming up in November for a production in February. Looking forward to that.
> 
> Previous to being the "adult" that I am now, I used to be highly active in art (pencil drawings, water-colors and the like). Plus I am a musician (piano/singer) and I remember playing every evening after dinner when I was a teenager. Goodness, I haven't done that for a long time. I've also written 3 (un-produced) screenplays as well as a 12 song CD (that CD was a while ago though). Soooo... I guess the only "active" artistic/creative outlet that I'm using is the stage (and that's only occasionally).
> 
> You? Mr. Venture?


Wow! Now I have both you and @FePa around to make me feel inferior *sigh* great! 

lol, i'm just kidding. But I am seriously impressed with your accomplishments. Unproduced or not, 3 screenplays is a feat. I start many creative writing projects, but none of them wind up finished!


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> @Mr.Venture How many avatars have you cycled through in the last 24 hours!? I feel there's some game afoot.


lol - you're right, there is!


----------



## Mr.Venture

Lizabeth said:


> lol - you're right, there is!


Yes, and Liz is a part of it so... *quick change of subject*


----------



## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> Yes, and Liz is a part of it so... *quick change of subject*


lol -- of which game do you speak, Sir Venture *sly wink* 

Never mind, don't answer that question. It might get you in trouble whichever way you answer it.


----------



## kdamazon

sittapygmaea said:


> @kdamazon What exactly did you mean earlier about missing the freedom to dream/ keeping your feet to firmly on the ground? I thought that might be why venture was asking about your creative outlets, but either way, I'm curious...


Helllo sittapygmaea 

I guess what I mean is that I've had to let go of my need for excitement and adventure as of late. I've been living with my parents since I left my ex-husband (of 22 years) for about 5 years now. It wasn't too bad up until recently. Heck, I even went and lived in China for a year during that time. However, my dad passed away this past May (so I was playing hospice nurse to him for a month or so) and now it's just me and my 82 year old mom. I believe I have very strong empathic abilities and I am taking on her sadness and depression. So now, I just work, watch tv and sleep. I'm a true hermit and hide in my mom's basement. So to play the role of mom's caretaker, I feel I can't really go anywhere or do anything. And it's been quite depressing. Sad part is... I'm getting used to it. 

ANYWAY--- Enough of me being a negative-Nelly...

How are things going with you, my fellow INFP?


----------



## kdamazon

Mr.Venture said:


> Can I ask what type of roles you most enjoy in acting?


 Good morning, Mr. Venture 

Sounds like you've had your fair share of creative outlets as well. 

I used to excel at musical theatre when I was a bit younger. There's youtube video of myself performing a song in the last musical I did (Batboy- The Musical). That was about... 7 years (?) ago. I enjoy performing in both comedy and drama, however, I feel more at home doing comedies and (evidently) have a knack for comedic timing. Drama is more challenging though... and I do like a challenge from time to time. This upcoming audition is for a new comedy that ran on Broadway a couple years ago called, "Vanya and Sonya and Masha and Spike". I've only read the first couple of pages of the script, but it seems quite humorous. I plan to read it this weekend. They told me to look at the role of Sonya. 

However, being as tall as I am, I have oftentimes been cast as the bad guy. That's been quite fun as well 

What shows did you perform in? When you were doing theatre?


----------



## kdamazon

Lizabeth said:


> Wow! Now I have both you and @FePa around to make me feel inferior *sigh* great!
> 
> lol, i'm just kidding. But I am seriously impressed with your accomplishments. Unproduced or not, 3 screenplays is a feat. I start many creative writing projects, but none of them wind up finished!


 lol... I actually understand about starting writing projects and never completing them. It's only because I'm an actress that I was able to complete the screenplays. Any story (short or long) that I've tried to write just sort of fizzled out. 

What is YOUR passion? If I may ask...


----------



## Mr.Venture

kdamazon said:


> Helllo sittapygmaea
> 
> I guess what I mean is that I've had to let go of my need for excitement and adventure as of late. I've been living with my parents since I left my ex-husband (of 22 years) for about 5 years now. It wasn't too bad up until recently. Heck, I even went and lived in China for a year during that time. However, my dad passed away this past May (so I was playing hospice nurse to him for a month or so) and now it's just me and my 82 year old mom. I believe I have very strong empathic abilities and I am taking on her sadness and depression. So now, I just work, watch tv and sleep. I'm a true hermit and hide in my mom's basement. So to play the role of mom's caretaker, I feel I can't really go anywhere or do anything. And it's been quite depressing. Sad part is... I'm getting used to it.
> 
> ANYWAY--- Enough of me being a negative-Nelly...
> 
> How are things going with you, my fellow INFP?


Quick response: Hope we fellow NFs *eyes the ENFPs especially* can offer you some extra warmth during this time. Pain is terribly important to recognize *offers hug* but so is joy. We'll sit with you gladly while you navigate this. Barely know you yet, but I hope you still believe I want to see you do well. *smiles*


----------



## Mr.Venture

kdamazon said:


> Good morning, Mr. Venture
> 
> Sounds like you've had your fair share of creative outlets as well.
> 
> I used to excel at musical theatre when I was a bit younger. There's youtube video of myself performing a song in the last musical I did (Batboy- The Musical). That was about... 7 years (?) ago. I enjoy performing in both comedy and drama, however, I feel more at home doing comedies and (evidently) have a knack for comedic timing. Drama is more challenging though... and I do like a challenge from time to time. This upcoming audition is for a new comedy that ran on Broadway a couple years ago called, "Vanya and Sonya and Masha and Spike". I've only read the first couple of pages of the script, but it seems quite humorous. I plan to read it this weekend. They told me to look at the role of Sonya.
> 
> However, being as tall as I am, I have oftentimes been cast as the bad guy. That's been quite fun as well
> 
> What shows did you perform in? When you were doing theatre?


My very favorite role was Bottom in Midsummer Night's Dream. His oblivious arrogance, the play within the play... He was one of my dream roles. (The other is Mercutio in RnJ. What a death scene!) My first musical role was Al in A Chorus Line. That was at the end of high school, and that was a blast - though I've become a much better dancer since.

Re Batboy: LOIDH - Links, or it didn't happen


----------



## kdamazon

Mr.Venture said:


> My very favorite role was Bottom in Midsummer Night's Dream. His oblivious arrogance, the play within the play... He was one of my dream roles. (The other is Mercutio in RnJ. What a death scene!) My first musical role was Al in A Chorus Line. That was at the end of high school, and that was a blast - though I've become a much better dancer since.
> 
> Re Batboy: LOIDH - Links, or it didn't happen


Oh you've done Shakespeare! How lovely!  AND A Chorus Line! One of my all time personal favorites.

I'm sorry... I didn't link my video... Ummm... I'm just terrible at HTML... Let me see if I remember how-






Did that maybe work?

HEY! IT WORKED! lol


----------



## The_Wanderer

On that borderline between Gen X and Y, relating to neither group but relating to both of them at the same time.


----------



## FePa

Welcome


----------



## kdamazon

The_Wanderer said:


> On that borderline between Gen X and Y, relating to neither group but relating to both of them at the same time.


I'm that way between INFP and INFJ. Split right between them (but with a BABY bit of a leaning towards INFP). 

Well, as an official Generation X-er, I say WELCOME


----------



## The_Wanderer

Focusing on dichotomies, huh?


----------



## kdamazon

Lizabeth said:


> Heya KD! I'm a 72'er too! Welcome to the party! And I love your avatar by the way.


GOODNESS! So terribly sorry that I missed your original welcome message. As is evident, I'm a bit new here and am trying to figure out my way around here . Lovely to meet you, my fellow 72'er!  And thank you (for the compliment on my avatar). That picture has always resonated with me. I like yours too!


----------



## Mr.Venture

kdamazon said:


> Oh you've done Shakespeare! How lovely!  AND A Chorus Line! One of my all time personal favorites.
> 
> I'm sorry... I didn't link my video... Ummm... I'm just terrible at HTML... Let me see if I remember how-
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Did that maybe work?
> 
> HEY! IT WORKED! lol


I'll watch this as soon as I can get my headphones. Currently serving lunch duty at the office, amd the speakers on my iPad are busted.



The_Wanderer said:


> On that borderline between Gen X and Y, relating to neither group but relating to both of them at the same time.


Welcome Wanderer. *slaps his own chest* You're in good company. *warm smiles*


----------



## kdamazon

The_Wanderer said:


> Focusing on dichotomies, huh?


Don't know if I'm "focused" on dichotomies, but I do notice them


----------



## sittapygmaea

kdamazon said:


> Helllo sittapygmaea
> 
> I guess what I mean is that I've had to let go of my need for excitement and adventure as of late. I've been living with my parents since I left my ex-husband (of 22 years) for about 5 years now. It wasn't too bad up until recently. Heck, I even went and lived in China for a year during that time. However, my dad passed away this past May (so I was playing hospice nurse to him for a month or so) and now it's just me and my 82 year old mom. I believe I have very strong empathic abilities and I am taking on her sadness and depression. So now, I just work, watch tv and sleep. I'm a true hermit and hide in my mom's basement. So to play the role of mom's caretaker, I feel I can't really go anywhere or do anything. And it's been quite depressing. Sad part is... I'm getting used to it.
> 
> ANYWAY--- Enough of me being a negative-Nelly...
> 
> How are things going with you, my fellow INFP?



That sounds awfully difficult- taking care of your ailing parents by yourself, especially since it seems like you don't have a strong local support network of people who can help provide backup and come to visit you and draw you out. I don't know about you, but I have natural hermit like tendencies anyway. I have learned that they do me no good, so I actively try to fight them, but if my situation simply _required_ that I take on a hermetic existence ... I think I would end up depressed even without the other factors. It's impressive to me that you are still sane. You must have a great deal of emotional fortitude but even so I'm sure you sometimes feel like you've been plunged into a deep, dark well.

And planning acting roles, no less. I'm envious of your dramatic talents. I recall very vividly in a drama class (back in high school) we had to perform a monologue and the teacher told me: "your whole body language says: "don't look at me; get away from me." That pretty much sums it up. I am one of those very introverted people who feels uncomfortable with a group larger than a few people. This was one of many (many, many) reasons I ended up deciding not to become a professor after spending 9 years getting a PhD. I actually love small seminars but loathe teaching large lecture classes. I also had a problem with many forms of anxiety, including public speaking. A few years ago I started taking anti-anxiety meds and that has made a tremendous difference. I am now in a position to deeply regret not having tried them while I was in school but... that ship has long since sailed. 

As is, I am in a mid-life regrouping stage, spurred in part by feeling less of a need to hide away from the world in the wake of the anxiety meds, and a little more eager to take on a challenge again, but unsure quite what that might be. I was somewhat burned by my last career choice being- in a sense- too challenging. I mean that it ended up pushing my buttons and firing my neuroses in a way that was ultimately fairly damaging to me. So I don't want to do something like that again. Nor do I wish to avoid all challenge and be an inert lump, a fashion in which I recently spent many years. I remember reading some time ago about an important factor for happiness entailing having sufficient "flow" state, where that as defined as being genuinely challenged in ways that one is able to meet. That resonates with me. I need to find a way to keep the pendulum in the middle instead of swinging from pole to pole (no challenge; too much challenge). But the devil is in the details. Sometimes I feel quite sanguine about my state, and at other times: fretful, daunted, overwhelmed. 

PS Apologies; I have a nasty tendency to be verbose.:dry:


----------



## sittapygmaea

On a lighter note, I notice many references to exercise and fitness amongst the group. I wonder if that is generational or age-related. I've enjoyed hiking for many decades but have recently taken up jogging and a modest strength training regimen (a variation of the New York Times 7 minute workout which, in my case, takes more like an hour :tongue. I'd be lying if I said my increasing age wasn't part of my motivation for taking more attentive care of my body. I also find it helpful for mood regulation and stress relief. For most of my life I felt like a I was beholden to my moods and feelings and the past few years I have been trying to exert control; exercise definitely helps with that.


----------



## Lizabeth

kdamazon said:


> Helllo sittapygmaea
> 
> I guess what I mean is that I've had to let go of my need for excitement and adventure as of late. I've been living with my parents since I left my ex-husband (of 22 years) for about 5 years now. It wasn't too bad up until recently. Heck, I even went and lived in China for a year during that time. However, my dad passed away this past May (so I was playing hospice nurse to him for a month or so) and now it's just me and my 82 year old mom. I believe I have very strong empathic abilities and I am taking on her sadness and depression. So now, I just work, watch tv and sleep. I'm a true hermit and hide in my mom's basement. So to play the role of mom's caretaker, I feel I can't really go anywhere or do anything. And it's been quite depressing. Sad part is... I'm getting used to it.
> 
> ANYWAY--- Enough of me being a negative-Nelly...
> 
> How are things going with you, my fellow INFP?


Wow. You have a lot riding on your shoulders. I hope you can find other people who are able and willing to share some of the load. You shouldn't have to deal with all of that on your own. 

But in the meantime, since you can't get out to play very often, I'm glad that you've found a playground here. And listening ears as well. Don't forget that part.


----------



## Lizabeth

kdamazon said:


> Good morning, Mr. Venture
> 
> Sounds like you've had your fair share of creative outlets as well.
> 
> I used to excel at musical theatre when I was a bit younger. There's youtube video of myself performing a song in the last musical I did (Batboy- The Musical). That was about... 7 years (?) ago. I enjoy performing in both comedy and drama, however, I feel more at home doing comedies and (evidently) have a knack for comedic timing. Drama is more challenging though... and I do like a challenge from time to time. This upcoming audition is for a new comedy that ran on Broadway a couple years ago called, "Vanya and Sonya and Masha and Spike". I've only read the first couple of pages of the script, but it seems quite humorous. I plan to read it this weekend. They told me to look at the role of Sonya.
> 
> However, being as tall as I am, I have oftentimes been cast as the bad guy. That's been quite fun as well
> 
> What shows did you perform in? When you were doing theatre?


Another singer?! We so have to do a Gen X musical extravaganza of some sort. @Mr.Venture @mimesis, you're supposed to be working on organizing our live karaoke night, remember?


----------



## Lizabeth

kdamazon said:


> lol... I actually understand about starting writing projects and never completing them. It's only because I'm an actress that I was able to complete the screenplays. Any story (short or long) that I've tried to write just sort of fizzled out.
> 
> What is YOUR passion? If I may ask...


Good question...let me think how to answer that. 

I'm trying to figure out what actually qualifies as one of my passions vs. interests. I have a lot of interests but a very poor attention span, so I have a tendency to flit from one thing to another. 

I'm passionate about my job, which is about trying to understand people and helping people to understand themselves and their loved ones better, to find ways of feeling better about themselves, and to problem solve. I'm generally passionate about understanding and helping people. 

I would say that I'm passionate about music. Singing, producing, sometimes writing my own music. I used to perform, but right now it's only for me. 

I enjoy writing, but I don't think I can call it a passion since the inspiration really waxes and wanes. I haven't really written anything for a while. Well, wait. That's not so true. I've been inspired to write a few things around here. but no attempts at an actual full story in quite a while.


----------



## Lizabeth

kdamazon said:


> Oh you've done Shakespeare! How lovely!  AND A Chorus Line! One of my all time personal favorites.
> 
> I'm sorry... I didn't link my video... Ummm... I'm just terrible at HTML... Let me see if I remember how-
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Did that maybe work?
> 
> HEY! IT WORKED! lol


Thanks for sharing this! Love your voice!


----------



## Lizabeth

The_Wanderer said:


> On that borderline between Gen X and Y, relating to neither group but relating to both of them at the same time.


Well you're very welcome here. Come cross over the border! :happy:


----------



## sittapygmaea

@Lizabeth Hey, you changed your avatar too! Just once, or did I blink and miss it? Some of us haven't even come up with 1 yet; you ENFPs are definitely overachievers on the avatar front!


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> @Lizabeth Hey, you changed your avatar too! Just once, or did I blink and miss it? Some of us haven't even come up with 1 yet; you ENFPs are definitely overachievers on the avatar front!


lol @Mr.Venture inspired me. It's a battle of the on-screen lawyers!


----------



## Lizabeth

ThomThom1 said:


> I googled it so I know it's Amelie but I've not seen the movie before. Is it a good one?
> 
> Movie from 1995
> 
> "...Two hundred pairs of eyes are focused on you with two questions on their minds - who's this girl, and why is the President dancing with her?..."
> 
> "...If you were a dork you should say you're sorry. Girls like that..."


Thanks for doing my homework for me TT! :wink:
@FePa, I never actually saw that movie or read the book, hence my ignorance. 

I know that movie you're quoting, ThomThom, but I can't remember the title. I never actually saw it. Was Annette Bening the "girl"? (goes to google it)

The American President!


----------



## ThomThom1

Yes it was!!!


----------



## Lizabeth

ThomThom1 said:


> Yes it was!!!


What do I win?! What do I win?!


----------



## ThomThom1




----------



## Lizabeth

ThomThom1 said:


> View attachment 200674


*snuggles* I love it! <3 <3 <3


----------



## FePa

ThomThom1 said:


> I googled it so I know it's Amelie but I've not seen the movie before. Is it a good one?
> 
> Movie from 1995
> 
> "...Two hundred pairs of eyes are focused on you with two questions on their minds - who's this girl, and why is the President dancing with her?..."
> 
> "...If you were a dork you should say you're sorry. Girls like that..."


Love actually! !♥


----------



## FePa

Oh ops, mistake


Amelie is very very sweet
You should see


----------



## will-o'-wisp

FePa said:


> Oh ops, mistake
> 
> 
> Amelie is very very sweet
> You should see


Yeah, great film

Bladerunner is my all time favourite film


----------



## Glenda Gnome Starr

I am a singer, too. Mostly, I sing in choral groups. Since I'm just the GenX wanna-bee, I'll be happy to sing background harmonies, lol.



Lizabeth said:


> Another singer?! We so have to do a Gen X musical extravaganza of some sort. @_Mr.Venture_ @_mimesis_, you're supposed to be working on organizing our live karaoke night, remember?


----------



## yentipeee

Lizabeth said:


> i'm just curious. I've noticed that most of the posters here seem to be Gen Y or Millenials. I'm enjoying the conversations (some very wise and insightful younger people around here), but just wondering if there is anyone else in my age bracket actively posting here.


old-timer here and canajian too


----------



## kdamazon

sittapygmaea said:


> That sounds awfully difficult- taking care of your ailing parents by yourself, especially since it seems like you don't have a strong local support network of people who can help provide backup and come to visit you and draw you out. I don't know about you, but I have natural hermit like tendencies anyway. I have learned that they do me no good, so I actively try to fight them, but if my situation simply _required_ that I take on a hermetic existence ... I think I would end up depressed even without the other factors. It's impressive to me that you are still sane. You must have a great deal of emotional fortitude but even so I'm sure you sometimes feel like you've been plunged into a deep, dark well.
> 
> And planning acting roles, no less. I'm envious of your dramatic talents. I recall very vividly in a drama class (back in high school) we had to perform a monologue and the teacher told me: "your whole body language says: "don't look at me; get away from me." That pretty much sums it up. I am one of those very introverted people who feels uncomfortable with a group larger than a few people. This was one of many (many, many) reasons I ended up deciding not to become a professor after spending 9 years getting a PhD. I actually love small seminars but loathe teaching large lecture classes. I also had a problem with many forms of anxiety, including public speaking. A few years ago I started taking anti-anxiety meds and that has made a tremendous difference. I am now in a position to deeply regret not having tried them while I was in school but... that ship has long since sailed.
> 
> As is, I am in a mid-life regrouping stage, spurred in part by feeling less of a need to hide away from the world in the wake of the anxiety meds, and a little more eager to take on a challenge again, but unsure quite what that might be. I was somewhat burned by my last career choice being- in a sense- too challenging. I mean that it ended up pushing my buttons and firing my neuroses in a way that was ultimately fairly damaging to me. So I don't want to do something like that again. Nor do I wish to avoid all challenge and be an inert lump, a fashion in which I recently spent many years. I remember reading some time ago about an important factor for happiness entailing having sufficient "flow" state, where that as defined as being genuinely challenged in ways that one is able to meet. That resonates with me. I need to find a way to keep the pendulum in the middle instead of swinging from pole to pole (no challenge; too much challenge). But the devil is in the details. Sometimes I feel quite sanguine about my state, and at other times: fretful, daunted, overwhelmed.
> 
> PS Apologies; I have a nasty tendency to be verbose.:dry:


I LOVE verboseness (is that a word? lol). I truly enjoy big, fancy, descriptive words! Thank you for the fascinating read. What a tumultuous life you've lived (so far  ). I understand much of what you talked about. However, I have kind of the OPPOSITE of what you described. I would MUCH prefer to perform for 500, 1000, 10,000 people than perform in a small room with 3 people watching me. When you're on stage, WELL-PREPARED and the stage lights go up... the only people you can sort of see are the first 2-3 rows. And they're so far away and dimly lit (and you're so busy concentrating on making your performance "organic" (as it were)) that you almost sort of start "ignoring" them, yet at the same time, you listen for them and gauge your performance accordingly. It's a strange, yet WONDERFUL, experience. 

Thank you for the commiserating comments. It HAS been a difficult time taking care of the folks. Especially when I have 3 other siblings who don't really do much of anything (except sponge money off of mom all the time). I'm taking a little week long vacation in the beginning of October just to get away. Going to stay with a friend in North Carolina. Never been there. I am in desperate need of a "relaxing adventure" at the moment. 

I also completely relate to the extremist attitude (challenging vs un-challenging). I'm completely that way too... especially with diet and exercise. Either I'm up at 4:30 am EVERY day and killing myself on the treadmill (for like... 3 months at a time) OR I'm sitting on the couch in my mom's basement, eating a bag of Cheetos and watching Ghost Hunters. There's no in between. Moderation seems to elude me. 

It's so lovely to meet you! Please take care of yourself


----------



## kdamazon

Lizabeth said:


> Wow. You have a lot riding on your shoulders. I hope you can find other people who are able and willing to share some of the load. You shouldn't have to deal with all of that on your own.
> 
> But in the meantime, since you can't get out to play very often, I'm glad that you've found a playground here. And listening ears as well. Don't forget that part.


Awww... THANK you dear!  It's just so NICE to have someone be commiserating! I've been so enclosed in my hermit state that I'd forgotten that kind people actually DO exist . My 3 siblings don't really do anything in the way of helping me. One basically ignores the situation and the other two just sponge money off of my mom as often as they can. It's a bit depressing.

I am actually taking a little week long vacation at the beginning of October just so I can get away for a bit and have a "relaxing adventure". I'm going to stay with a friend in North Carolina. Never been there. Just want to wander and explore somewhere I've never been.

Thank you again for the warm welcome! I will be sure to come and play here as often as I can!


----------



## kdamazon

Lizabeth said:


> Good question...let me think how to answer that.
> 
> I'm trying to figure out what actually qualifies as one of my passions vs. interests. I have a lot of interests but a very poor attention span, so I have a tendency to flit from one thing to another.
> 
> I'm passionate about my job, which is about trying to understand people and helping people to understand themselves and their loved ones better, to find ways of feeling better about themselves, and to problem solve. I'm generally passionate about understanding and helping people.
> 
> I would say that I'm passionate about music. Singing, producing, sometimes writing my own music. I used to perform, but right now it's only for me.
> 
> I enjoy writing, but I don't think I can call it a passion since the inspiration really waxes and wanes. I haven't really written anything for a while. Well, wait. That's not so true. I've been inspired to write a few things around here. but no attempts at an actual full story in quite a while.


How lovely!  You have such a kind and giving spirit! It always lifts my spirits when I see someone emboldening others.


----------



## kdamazon

Lizabeth said:


> Thanks for sharing this! Love your voice!


Thank you! I've always loved singing... ever since I was very very young


----------



## Mr.Venture

Away three days, and I come back to a collection of fast friends.

*warm feelings* it's good to see what the right thread can accomplish.

I myself have felt that touch of caged mania lately too. There are so many good and amazing things going on in my life right now, particularly with people entering it *group hug* but that caged feeling has usually been a sign that I'm drifting out of balance again.

So, in the spirit of communal support already clear in this thread, how do the other posters here rebalance themselves when they are getting out of whack? (I can answer questions about specifics at another time, I'm posting on a lunch break. ;-) )

Rest assured *arms still around the shoulders present* we're talking _prevetative measures_ here. *warm smile*


----------



## FePa

Mr.Venture said:


> Away three days, and I come back to a collection of fast friends.
> 
> *warm feelings* it's good to see what the right thread can accomplish.
> 
> I myself have felt that touch of caged mania lately too. There are so many good and amazing things going on in my life right now, particularly with people entering it *group hug* but that caged feeling has usually been a sign that I'm drifting out of balance again.
> 
> So, in the spirit of communal support already clear in this thread, how do the other posters here rebalance themselves when they are getting out of whack? (I can answer questions about specifics at another time, I'm posting on a lunch break. ;-) )
> 
> Rest assured *arms still around the shoulders present* we're talking _prevetative measures_ here. *warm smile*


I'm probably not the best one to advise on that, because I'm a steam roller kind of person and when I'm caged, trapped, unbalanced, I just go in destruction mode - leaving everything behind, friends, acquaintances, hobbies, passions, relationships, whatever ... then I find my vortex on my own solitudine and start building everything back again. 
The problem is that most of the "ditched" people don't actually liked much what happened and turn their backs to me...
And with the years, I stopped carrying for those who do, because the ones that remain during my downs are worth my ups


----------



## Mr.Venture

FePa said:


> I'm probably not the best one to advise on that, because I'm a steam roller kind of person and when I'm caged, trapped, unbalanced, I just go in destruction mode - leaving everything behind, friends, acquaintances, hobbies, passions, relationships, whatever ... then I find my vortex on my own solitudine and start building everything back again.
> The problem is that most of the "ditched" people don't actually liked much what happened and turn their backs to me...
> And with the years, I stopped carrying for those who do, because the ones that remain during my downs are worth my ups


Ahh *smiles* the _mass destruction_ approach. I actually have found use for this before @FePa. There's a parallel in that my house was flooded in April this Spring. Lost everything that was in the basement - 7 feet of water. Was kicked out of home, lost practical tools, and had to say goodbye to some special memories as well. Even so, when all was said an' done, I look back now an' barely miss any of it.

A little self-destruction - make a mess of the mess you're in - and see who sticks around? Yeah, that's got its place. 

Mind you *glint smile* I've become a bit better about asking for help before it gets to that point these days. Asking for, and accepting when it's offered too. Still stings the ego somethin' fierce *bashful grin* but I'm getting better at it.


----------



## kindaconfused

<<----- NF Slacker


----------



## FePa

Mr.Venture said:


> Ahh *smiles* the _mass destruction_ approach. I actually have found use for this before @FePa. There's a parallel in that my house was flooded in April this Spring. Lost everything that was in the basement - 7 feet of water. Was kicked out of home, lost practical tools, and had to say goodbye to some special memories as well. Even so, when all was said an' done, I look back now an' barely miss any of it.
> 
> A little self-destruction - make a mess of the mess you're in - and see who sticks around? Yeah, that's got its place.
> 
> Mind you *glint smile* I've become a bit better about asking for help before it gets to that point these days. Asking for, and accepting when it's offered too. Still stings the ego somethin' fierce *bashful grin* but I'm getting better at it.


Yeah, but quite some time since my last mass destruction mode... wonder what's going under the sleeping volcano


----------



## sittapygmaea

Mr.Venture said:


> Away three days, and I come back to a collection of fast friends.
> 
> *warm feelings* it's good to see what the right thread can accomplish.
> 
> I myself have felt that touch of caged mania lately too. There are so many good and amazing things going on in my life right now, particularly with people entering it *group hug* but that caged feeling has usually been a sign that I'm drifting out of balance again.
> 
> So, in the spirit of communal support already clear in this thread, how do the other posters here rebalance themselves when they are getting out of whack? (I can answer questions about specifics at another time, I'm posting on a lunch break. ;-) )
> 
> Rest assured *arms still around the shoulders present* we're talking _prevetative measures_ here. *warm smile*


I'm not sure I'm the best one to offer advice either (see all posts above...:tongue but when I've gotten out of whack it's usually pretty clear what to do to whack myself back, i.e., the opposite of whatever I've just been binging on (self pity, isolation, laziness, inertia being my usual culprits). My guess is you know exactly what you're doing too much and too little of. In a more modest vein, I find the following things helpful: 

1. get out with friends and/or family (not the one's who've been pulling me down, if that's a problem). I'm prone to isolating myself, but a little social activity is often a magic tonic. 

2. exercise- really no downside to this one, and if all else fails, at least I burn off some stress and feel a sense of accomplishment

3. Make a literal list of things I've been putting off (doctor's appointment, cleaning the guest room, calling back a friend) and do 'em. Then cross them off my list. A great feeling.

4. For the big, overwhelming, intractable things: 

- talk to other people instead of just spinning my own wheels. It's so easy to get stuck in my head and neglect all the other reasonable perspectives that can counterbalance my personal blind spots and idiosyncrasies. 

- try to break them down into smaller parts. Something like "I should have finished my dissertation already" pretty much just sends me scurrying further into my cave. Something like "I'm going to make progress on my dissertation by spending 2 hours at the computer writing every day this week"... much better. Did I mention lists? I love crossing things off lists. lol.


----------



## Mr.Venture

FePa said:


> There are wrinkle free shirts, you know?
> :tongue:


*laughs brightly* I'm surprised at the "hate on" I'm getting for volunteering to do some ironing. *waves hands while still laughing* No worries folk, I was just offering to help. *still laughing* I know when I'm not wanted.


----------



## sittapygmaea

Clearly most of us gen-xers had some deep trauma in our past involving ironing. And that innocent flirt Venture got stuck in the crossfire. Ladies, we'll have to take up the issue with our respective therapists. lol. 



Mr.Venture said:


> *laughs brightly* I'm surprised at the "hate on" I'm getting for volunteering to do some ironing. *waves hands while still laughing* No worries folk, I was just offering to help. *still laughing* I know when I'm not wanted.


----------



## Mr.Venture

sittapygmaea said:


> Clearly most of us gen-xers had some deep trauma in our past involving ironing. And that innocent flirt Venture got stuck in the crossfire. Ladies, we'll have to take up the issue with our respective therapists. lol.


*small grin* No worries. I think just about everyone here knows I'm able to shrug it off. *smile of appreciation* But thank you anyway.


----------



## sittapygmaea

Mr.Venture said:


> *small grin* No worries. I think just about everyone here knows I'm able to shrug it off. *smile of appreciation* But thank you anyway.


I meant that tongue-in-cheek! It must be that my sophisticated wit is too subtle for this medium: :tongue: ha! However, it's good to know that you're made of stronger stuff, handsome. I'll definitely keep that in mind :wink:


----------



## Mr.Venture

sittapygmaea said:


> I meant that tongue-in-cheek! It must be that my sophisticated wit is too subtle for this medium: :tongue: ha! However, it's good to know that you're made of stronger stuff, handsome. I'll definitely keep that in mind :wink:


*lounges roguishly, head propped up on a well-muscled arm* Careful what you say to an inveterate flirt such as myself, Sittapy. We nearly got kicked for invitations like that one. *glint wink* I'm not personally known for my subtlety.


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> I'm a bit late to all this so my responses are all in that delayed-reaction vein, but @Mr.Venture, I find this post extremely insightful. I'm going to try it out. I heartily agree with all the praise.
> 
> As for me, I tend to treat my emotions as enthusiastic puppies stuck inside all day. If I don't take them out to run around, they will poop on the floor. And it will take a long time to clean up. When I take them to the park and play for a while, they finally calm down and get ready for a nap. The problem is... so do I. Wrestling with a litter of energetic puppies is _*tiring*_ :bored:
> 
> I'm curious if anyone else has this sense of engagement with their emotions. I talk to them, reason with them, argue with them, analyze them. It does help me understand and control them, but it's exhausting.


lol -- see, this is why I love conversing with NF types -- all the brilliant imagery and metaphor that spills from your brain trickles into mine and lights it up! (Not that I don't enjoy other personality types, mind you, but this...this....*sigh*) (and I know that I just mixed metaphors, but I'm tired, so leave me alone! :tongue: )


----------



## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> Yeah, I really resonate with that whole idea of "speaking with my emotions. Recently I literally developed a _cast of characters_ that represent various parts of myself, and it's been an interesting process getting to know them and how they operate and relate to each other. For anyone who's interested (@Lizabeth, you may have heard of this) it's loosely based off something called Internal Family Systems Theory.
> 
> First character I met was a guy named Vince. Imagine him, if you will, as one of these long and skinny white-haired assassins from a Japanese anime. Tortured soul. Deadly skilled with a long katana. Cold, and exceedingly pragmatic. He was cutting voice in my mind, one that always wants me to put emotion aside and take the cleanest and most direct route forward. Neither warm nor affectionate are words you'll find in his vocabulary.
> 
> He was interesting to meet first. I really disliked him at the start, but I started the project determined to try and find peace with all my various parts. As I got to know the guy, I got to understand that he wasn't just an assassin, he was also something akin to a knight. He had a principle of protection for others more vulnerable than himself, and his cold attitude toward perfection was a weight that made him more effective in his purpose. He wasn't a happy person, and he shut himself off from others as a matter of course. I think he truly believes he has some sort of dark fate ahead of him, but he's also most vocal when responsibilities threaten to overwhelm. For him, there is no such thing as a limit that cannot be tested and overcome. Useful, yes. Helpful, definitely. But the way he pushes that point of view leaves a lot to be desired.
> 
> So Vince and I got to talking about it. I didn't ask him to change, but we also agreed on who was in charge. As more characters came into awareness, he developed relationships with them as well. He's still dark and brooding, but now he has better things to do with his time, and the community definitely accepts him. It's been an interesting journey with that dude. Difficult to like at times, and I'm very careful to deconstruct what he says before I decided to follow it or not, but now a very valued part of myself.
> 
> *looks inside* *laughs* Damn, I don't think I'll ever make that dude smile. Oh well, he knows I like him still.
> 
> Aside: @FePa, I've known you for a while now, and you are clearly anything but brainless. *hands you a blanket* Go lie down for a bit. I'll get some cleaning down. *cheek kiss*


Again...lights up my brain! 



kdamazon said:


> OOOOOO! Rapscallion! I DO love your loquaciousness! The worst part (about the siblings) is my older sister (with whom I'm not speaking) who actually had the GALL to tell me (when I complained about mom and dad screaming and fighting with each other) that I should "maybe try helping out more instead of being the spoiled rotten brat" that I've "always been". Boy was THEM fightin' words! I let her have it with both barrels. So that ended up isolating me even more.
> 
> I am REALLY looking forward to getting away. I just love exploring a new place. Wandering. Seeing things I've never seen before. Experiencing things I've only read about. Finding a little pub and just having a few beers by myself and watch the people come and go. Obviously, I prefer to do that in Europe if I can, but finances say that I'll have to do that in America this time.
> 
> How are things in your life currently?


I have to say, my brother and I have often had issues in our relationship -- actually for most of our siblinghood up until he hit his 40s. But when my dad got sick (and passed away) and my mother needed to move and needed care, he really stepped up to the plate, and I'm grateful for that. I live in a different city, and I know that he has taken on the brunt of the burden of supporting my mother. I try to help out when I can, but it doesn't change the fact that he has to do it most of the time. So I'm sorry that you have siblings who don't even seem to recognize all that you do and that maybe you need some help sometimes. And hugs to both of you for being the caring offspring that you are. Just keep remembering to take care of yourselves and let others take care of you as well *hugs!* 


kdamazon said:


> Hmmmm- Interesting. I once had a psychic tell me that I had very strong "empathetic abilities" and that oftentimes I take on the feelings of people around me and don't realize that they're not actually MY feelings. I don't know if that's true or not, however, that DID make me a bit more aware of my feelings and in doing so, I actually realized the power that feelings have. If I'm not careful and aware, they just pick me up and take me with them in a HUGE tornado and it's SUPER difficult to escape.
> 
> So to answer your question, 'am I slave to my emotions and has it gotten any easier with age', I'd say "sometimes" lol.


I really relate to what you said. It was only in the last few years that I became really conscious of my status as an empath, and that I had this tendency to subconsciously absorb the emotions of others -- which is a double-edged sword. When you're aware of it and learn to channel and shape it, that kind of natural empathy can be a beautiful thing. But without being fully aware of it's power and knowing how to handle it, it can become overwhelming and throw you off balance. I still get distracted and slip up sometimes, but I'm better at catching myself now before I fall all the way down that rabbit hole. 



FePa said:


> Do you know that I don't own one single piece of clothe that requires ironing?
> I hate it !





willow the wisp said:


> Agreed, ironing is a waste of life.


:tongue: I totally agree! I do own clothes that require ironing, but I bring them out of the closet very very rarely! Glad to know I'm not the only one! 


Mr.Venture said:


> Or an opportunity to reconnect within. The slow focus that comes with such a simple task is a relief to me. It stills my thoughts in a simple zen of motion.
> 
> The fact that it lets me continue wearing nice button-downs is a side benefit as well. *corners smile*


Damn you! Do you have to be so damn perfect? *swoons a little* :tongue:

I think we may have to clone Mr. Venture.


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> There are wrinkle free shirts, you know?
> :tongue:


That's my motto in life :wink:



Mr.Venture said:


> *laughs brightly* I'm surprised at the "hate on" I'm getting for volunteering to do some ironing. *waves hands while still laughing* No worries folk, I was just offering to help. *still laughing* I know when I'm not wanted.


*yanks wrinkled rarely-worn blouses out of her closet and throws them in a pile at the foot of Venture's ironing table* I'll need those done by 7am tomorrow!



sittapygmaea said:


> Clearly most of us gen-xers had some deep trauma in our past involving ironing. And that innocent flirt Venture got stuck in the crossfire. Ladies, we'll have to take up the issue with our respective therapists. lol.


lol -- actually...an iron burned me on the wrist when I was a child. True story. I still have the scar :crying:

But I think most of my trauma about ironing came from having a mother who thought I should iron because that's what "ladies" do (I told her I didn't want to be a lady :wink: )



Mr.Venture said:


> *lounges roguishly, head propped up on a well-muscled arm* Careful what you say to an inveterate flirt such as myself, Sittapy. We nearly got kicked for invitations like that one. *glint wink* I'm not personally known for my subtlety.







:tongue:


----------



## ThomThom1

@Lizabeth, Austin Powers, that was perfect!!! Lol!!!


----------



## Lizabeth

ThomThom1 said:


> @Lizabeth, Austin Powers, that was perfect!!! Lol!!!


Why thank you...thank you very much! :wink:


----------



## Mr.Venture

*whistles jauntily while tackling @Lizabeth's ironing* *pays no mind to the Austin Powers jokes she's sharing with @ThomThom1*

*to himself -* I like being happy *smiles*

*continues whistling*


----------



## FePa

Mr.Venture said:


> *laughs brightly* I'm surprised at the "hate on" I'm getting for volunteering to do some ironing. *waves hands while still laughing* No worries folk, I was just offering to help. *still laughing* I know when I'm not wanted.


My pretty babe, not that I wouldn't love to see you in an apron, an iron in hand, a pile of fresh, pressed stuff besides you 
Is that I rather have you dealing with something else hot and steamy released
*wink*


----------



## Mr.Venture

FePa said:


> My pretty babe, not that I would love to see you in an apron, an iron in hand, a pile of fresh, pressed stuff besides you
> Is that I rather have you dealing with something else hot and steamy released
> *wink*


Ohhhh man... I am soooo going to get this thread kicked again.

*puts a long arm around Fepa* *smiles happily* And I am so going to enjoy the fall. *grins*


----------



## FePa

Lizabeth said:


> That's my motto in life :wink:
> 
> 
> 
> *yanks wrinkled rarely-worn blouses out of her closet and throws them in a pile at the foot of Venture's ironing table* I'll need those done by 7am tomorrow!
> 
> 
> 
> lol -- actually...an iron burned me on the wrist when I was a child. True story. I still have the scar :crying:
> 
> But I think most of my trauma about ironing came from having a mother who thought I should iron because that's what "ladies" do (I told her I didn't want to be a lady :wink: )
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :tongue:


Not me. Never forced to do anything, my mom never wanted me lady-like -> hence why I still wear tennis shoes with dresses :tongue:
I was not "trained" for household chores either... both parents were (are still) high career workers and never expected me to be housewife style
I just think is useless to iron something that wrinkle back the second minute you use them. .. sit in the car and ops, gone.
(Remember I lived in a hot country were we would be sweating all the time, to no neck button shirts, but very generous cleavages *glances at @Mr.Venture to see if his eyes are glazed while he pictures it...)
Also I was a field and lab biologist there... tshirts, cargo pants, tennis shoes and white coat 

Hihihihi


----------



## Mr.Venture

FePa said:


> *glances at @Mr.Venture to see if his eyes are glazed while he pictures it...)
> 
> Hihihihi


I don't "glaze", I "appreciate". *checks the corner of his mouth to make sure he isn't drooling this time*


----------



## sittapygmaea

@Lizabeth do you ever feel like you created a monster? You are so reliable in keeping up with this thread, plus its spinoff and who knows what else.... I see almost 1000 posts in ~ a month. :shocked: where do you get the energy?!


----------



## sittapygmaea

kdamazon said:


> OOOOOO! Rapscallion! I DO love your loquaciousness! The worst part (about the siblings) is my older sister (with whom I'm not speaking) who actually had the GALL to tell me (when I complained about mom and dad screaming and fighting with each other) that I should "maybe try helping out more instead of being the spoiled rotten brat" that I've "always been". Boy was THEM fightin' words! I let her have it with both barrels. So that ended up isolating me even more.
> 
> I am REALLY looking forward to getting away. I just love exploring a new place. Wandering. Seeing things I've never seen before. Experiencing things I've only read about. Finding a little pub and just having a few beers by myself and watch the people come and go. Obviously, I prefer to do that in Europe if I can, but finances say that I'll have to do that in America this time.
> 
> How are things in your life currently?


Wow, @kdamazon-- your sister sounds like quite a bit more than a rapscallion. You're taking care of your mother while she does... what exactly? My admiration for you grows every time I hear more of your story. 

I am ten days away from a minibreak to yosemite. I'm not getting away _from_ anything but it's nice to get away sometimes just the same. Meanwhile, I'm still twisting and twirling various ideas for more productive engagements. For more than a year I was highly involved in trying to help some friends with a legal problem/failing business. It was not the sort of thing I would ever have thought I might find myself doing (e.g., I have neither knowledge of nor interest in business), but for that very reason, I felt liberated to do it well, if that makes any sense. I think in the near future I will limit my 'professional' outlets to things that I care about enough about to be engaged, but not so much that the prospect of failure is unbearable. It's a fine line. I'm not sure that I can ever walk it successfully, but I am sure that I can do better than I have.


----------



## mimesis

FePa said:


> My pretty babe, not that I wouldn't love to see you in an apron, an iron in hand, a pile of fresh, pressed stuff besides you
> Is that I rather have you dealing with something else hot and steamy released
> *wink*












Good moaning, ma'am, Flirt-Police...I'm going to have to ask you to continue your conversation with @Mr.Venture to the designated area on this website, this is getting too hot & sexy.

/jk


----------



## ThomThom1

mimesis said:


> Good moaning, ma'am, Flirt-Police...I'm going to have to ask you to continue your conversation with @Mr.Venture to the designated area on this website, this is getting too hot & sexy.
> 
> /jk


That is sooooo funny!!!! Love!!!!!


----------



## FePa

mimesis said:


> Good moaning, ma'am, Flirt-Police...I'm going to have to ask you to continue your conversation with @Mr.Venture to the designated area on this website, this is getting too hot & sexy.
> 
> /jk











I can't control myself !!
I have a problem!


----------



## mimesis

ThomThom1 said:


> That is sooooo funny!!!! Love!!!!!










you genXers are incorrigible...


----------



## ThomThom1

FePa said:


> View attachment 202786
> 
> 
> I can't control myself !!
> I have a problem!


Is this where @Mr.Venture says, "well then, Feeps, we must take you in to the Flirt Police station and give you a proper pat down." ROFL!!!

"You have the right to remain silent. Any moans from you will be used against you. You have the right to an attorney, although I believe a bit of my therapy will be more to your liking."


----------



## Mr.Venture

ThomThom1 said:


> Is this where @Mr.Venture says, "well then, Feeps, we must take you in to the Flirt Police station and give you a proper pat down." ROFL!!!
> 
> "You have the right to remain silent. Any moans from you will be used against you. You have the right to an attorney, although I believe a bit of my therapy will be more to your liking."


You've got me pegged Thoms. *eye crinkle smile*

For those interested, because flirting did land us in a mild case of trouble, I created a thread in the SnR forums to redirect it.
The Grown and Sexy Gen X Dreamer Beasts
In retrospect, it probably should have read "Groan" *caddish wink* You can see why created an outlet.

@kdamazon, it does sound like you have extended yourself quite a bit. You wouldn't happen to be a fellow Enneagram 2, would you?

@sittapygmaea, I've never been to Yosemite before. Will this be your first visit? I can very much understand the idea of escaping not _from_ but _to_ a particular destination. Indeed, the latter is almost always more pleasant than the former.


----------



## kdamazon

sittapygmaea said:


> Wow, @kdamazon-- your sister sounds like quite a bit more than a rapscallion. You're taking care of your mother while she does... what exactly? My admiration for you grows every time I hear more of your story.
> 
> I am ten days away from a minibreak to yosemite. I'm not getting away _from_ anything but it's nice to get away sometimes just the same. Meanwhile, I'm still twisting and twirling various ideas for more productive engagements. For more than a year I was highly involved in trying to help some friends with a legal problem/failing business. It was not the sort of thing I would ever have thought I might find myself doing (e.g., I have neither knowledge of nor interest in business), but for that very reason, I felt liberated to do it well, if that makes any sense. I think in the near future I will limit my 'professional' outlets to things that I care about enough about to be engaged, but not so much that the prospect of failure is unbearable. It's a fine line. I'm not sure that I can ever walk it successfully, but I am sure that I do better than I have.


 Yeah, she's DEFINITELY more than a rapscallion, lol. I refer to her as "Jabba the Hut" because she's quite literally one of those people that could have their own reality show called, "My 400 Pound Life". She somehow found a 30 year old guy who married her and completely 100% supports her (read "brings her Taco Time in bed") whilst she lays in bed all day because she has fibromyalgia, diabetes and... well... she's 400 pounds. She does call mom occasionally to tell her about how horrible her life is and then ask for money. That's about the extent of her abilities. So yeah, no big loss there. 

Yosemite! How lovely!  I've never been there! Oh I hope you have such a beautiful, relaxing time there! 

You sound a lot like me (guess that's because we're both INFP's- lol)... if someone that you care for needs your help, well, you HAVE to help! Even if it's not something that you're familiar or comfortable with. I completely relate to that! I'm currently trying to escape a similar situation (not business related though) of my own making. Met someone that I ended up caring about... and then... you guessed it, sacrificed EVERYTHING to prove to them how great of a person I am and how benevolent I am and how much they should love and respect and value me. Oddly enough... that didn't happen and now, I once again, am sad, dejected and putting another layer of concrete on my already solid external wall. Sighhhhhhh... yesterday was rough. I am so very thankful I have you (and this board) to vent a bit on.  

Do you have any lovely weekend plans?


----------



## FePa

:dry:
Annoying...


----------



## kdamazon

Lizabeth said:


> I have to say, my brother and I have often had issues in our relationship -- actually for most of our siblinghood up until he hit his 40s. But when my dad got sick (and passed away) and my mother needed to move and needed care, he really stepped up to the plate, and I'm grateful for that. I live in a different city, and I know that he has taken on the brunt of the burden of supporting my mother. I try to help out when I can, but it doesn't change the fact that he has to do it most of the time. So I'm sorry that you have siblings who don't even seem to recognize all that you do and that maybe you need some help sometimes. And hugs to both of you for being the caring offspring that you are. Just keep remembering to take care of yourselves and let others take care of you as well *hugs!*
> 
> I really relate to what you said. It was only in the last few years that I became really conscious of my status as an empath, and that I had this tendency to subconsciously absorb the emotions of others -- which is a double-edged sword. When you're aware of it and learn to channel and shape it, that kind of natural empathy can be a beautiful thing. But without being fully aware of it's power and knowing how to handle it, it can become overwhelming and throw you off balance. I still get distracted and slip up sometimes, but I'm better at catching myself now before I fall all the way down that rabbit hole.


 Thank you Lizabeth. You are so very kind  I have 3 people in my life who actually have helped me (and continue to do so if I allow them). My inner circle is severely limited and those are the 3 people (outside of my son) who have access to the "real me". I am the perfect example of a "hermit/recluse". The only reason I don't have my own little dark cabin in the woods is because my mom needs me so I'm living with her. I can TOTALLY see myself becoming that "scary lady who might actually be a witch" lol. The thing about me (and I'm assuming is true with most INFP's) is that if you actually allow someone into your inner circle, that is a HUGE deal and by GOD, they'd better respect that. Unfortunately, I had to release a guy (yesterday) that I had allowed in there. And when that happens--- imagine Bob Geldoff running up and pounding the HUGE gray cinder-block wall in The Wall. You AIN'T getting back in there, friend. So... (SIGH), once again I enter back into the fray that is called "the world", smarter, sadder, but wiser. 

I'm so very thankful that I can come here and vent a bit. It really does help. 

Thank you


----------



## kdamazon

Mr.Venture said:


> @kdamazon, it does sound like you have extended yourself quite a bit. You wouldn't happen to be a fellow Enneagram 2, would you?


I THINK I took the Enneagram test when I first joined personalitycafe. Is that the "6w5" thing?


----------



## mimesis

FePa said:


> View attachment 202786
> 
> 
> I can't control myself !!
> I have a problem!


Lol. I was joking, please carry on doing what you're doing. I don't mind.


----------



## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> *whistles jauntily while tackling @Lizabeth's ironing* *pays no mind to the Austin Powers jokes she's sharing with @ThomThom1*
> 
> *to himself -* I like being happy *smiles*
> 
> *continues whistling*


*Kisses Mr. V on the cheek.* Thanks for the ironing. You're a doll! Now do you think you could organize my closet for me? :tongue:


----------



## Mr.Venture

Lizabeth said:


> *Kisses Mr. V on the cheek.* Thanks for the ironing. You're a doll! Now do you think you could organize my closet for me? :tongue:


*from under the deluge of soft fabrics shoots a single arm, point upwards* *muffled* No problem! *the hand begins to feel the top of the pile* *still muffled* I love women's clothing. You girls get such soft fabrics to play with. *assumed grin... You know, 'cause he's he's still buried under that pile*


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> Not me. Never forced to do anything, my mom never wanted me lady-like -> hence why I still wear tennis shoes with dresses :tongue:
> I was not "trained" for household chores either... both parents were (are still) high career workers and never expected me to be housewife style
> I just think is useless to iron something that wrinkle back the second minute you use them. .. sit in the car and ops, gone.
> (Remember I lived in a hot country were we would be sweating all the time, to no neck button shirts, but very generous cleavages *glances at @Mr.Venture to see if his eyes are glazed while he pictures it...)
> Also I was a field and lab biologist there... tshirts, cargo pants, tennis shoes and white coat
> 
> Hihihihi


It's not so much that I was forced to do it. And coincidentally, my mother was a terrible housekeeper! It was more like she would go on and on about how I SHOULD do it. She always ironed my dad's shirts and dress pants for him and thought that I should be learning to do the same. But I'm with you -- wrinkle free clothing all the way. Unless @Mr.Venture wants to come over to my house and iron my clothes for me in his speedo at least once a week...then I could see changing my wardrobe buying habits :wink:


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> @Lizabeth do you ever feel like you created a monster? You are so reliable in keeping up with this thread, plus its spinoff and who knows what else.... I see almost 1000 posts in ~ a month. :shocked: where do you get the energy?!


lol sittapy -- did you notice my type? :tongue:

And as I said in another thread, I'm ridiculously chatty even for an ENFP. Just ask my elementary school teachers. (Especially my Grade 3 teacher *sigh* she never understood me)


----------



## Lizabeth

mimesis said:


> Good moaning, ma'am, Flirt-Police...I'm going to have to ask you to continue your conversation with @Mr.Venture to the designated area on this website, this is getting too hot & sexy.
> 
> /jk


:laughing:

Who died and made you Flirt-Police? lol


----------



## Lizabeth

ThomThom1 said:


> Is this where @Mr.Venture says, "well then, Feeps, we must take you in to the Flirt Police station and give you a proper pat down." ROFL!!!
> 
> "You have the right to remain silent. Any moans from you will be used against you. You have the right to an attorney, although I believe a bit of my therapy will be more to your liking."


:shocked: lol ThomThom! I did not expect that from you! hahaha


----------



## Mr.Venture

kdamazon said:


> I THINK I took the Enneagram test when I first joined personalitycafe. Is that the "6w5" thing?


Yes and, if I remember my Enneagram theory correctly, family is a big reaction point for 6s as well. Mind you, I put little stock in the _tests_ I was offered to figured out my type. There were at least three numbers that I believed I might fit, and some tests gave me nonsensical responses. What really settled it for me was examining the growth paths and practices for each type I thought I might be, putting them into practice, and then witnessing the results. I'm quite confident I know where I belong now, but a pencil-and-paper test was never a good way to find out in my case.

What _are_ the suggestions for personal development, if you know, for a 6?


----------



## Mr.Venture

Lizabeth said:


> :laughing:
> 
> Who died and made you Flirt-Police? lol


At least someone has their foot on the brakes ;-)


----------



## mimesis

Mr.Venture said:


> At least someone has their foot on the brakes ;-)


Actually I thought, if you were exercising self-restraint in reciprocating, you would be eating your tongue by now, lol.


----------



## ThomThom1

Lizabeth said:


> :shocked: lol ThomThom! I did not expect that from you! hahaha


Ahhhh,but, my pretty, even after 20 years, my hubby and I still engage in some exciting, uh hmmm, displays that would burn up the Flirt Police. He he. 

*a wicked smile spreads across my lips, my eyes glaze over and I reposition myself in my seat as if it's suddenly too warm*

With this ENFP brain full of imagination, I can assure you that the more carnal indulgences in my life are never dull. *wink*


----------



## FePa

mimesis said:


> Lol. I was joking, please carry on doing what you're doing. I don't mind.


Nops, not anymore. 
Now I got too self conscious and was called out too many times
It's broken
:tongue:


Lizabeth said:


> *Kisses Mr. V on the cheek.* Thanks for the ironing. You're a doll! Now do you think you could organize my closet for me? :tongue:


Oh I have a very organized closed, btw
:wink:



Lizabeth said:


> It's not so much that I was forced to do it. And coincidentally, my mother was a terrible housekeeper! It was more like she would go on and on about how I SHOULD do it. She always ironed my dad's shirts and dress pants for him and thought that I should be learning to do the same. But I'm with you -- wrinkle free clothing all the way. Unless @Mr.Venture wants to come over to my house and iron my clothes for me in his speedo at least once a week...then I could see changing my wardrobe buying habits :wink:


Ahhhh I would never iron his clothes. 
If he wants pressed clothes, I can stay supportively by his side while he's doing it
Hehehe
:tongue:

But I'll cook in return.... is that ok ?
:wink:


----------



## mimesis

FePa said:


> Nops, not anymore.
> Now I got too self conscious and was called out too many times
> It's broken
> :tongue:


Ah I see...well, you'd perhaps feel less self conscious about it in the designated area, as provided by @Mr.Venture .


----------



## kdamazon

sittapygmaea said:


> On a lighter, if not exactly happier, topic: there are rats in my garden!!! :shocked: Icky! Look at the damage they've wrought (that was a tomato):
> View attachment 204586
> 
> 
> I'm a friendly vegetarian, but this means _war_!


OMG!!! I really had no idea that a rat would do that to a tomato!


----------



## FePa

A rat on a diet


----------



## kdamazon

Lizabeth said:


> *hands KD a warm steaming cup of hot cocoa and points her to a comfy chair with a well-stuffed ottoman nearby for her to put her feet up on*
> 
> Any time, Kadee, anytime!


Thank you very much, kind Lizabeth!  Much needed and appreciated!


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> On a lighter, if not exactly happier, topic: there are rats in my garden!!! :shocked: Icky! Look at the damage they've wrought (that was a tomato):
> View attachment 204586
> 
> 
> I'm a friendly vegetarian, but this means _war_!


*shudders* Seriously, I'd have to move. I have a ridiculously strong phobia towards rats!


----------



## sittapygmaea

Lizabeth said:


> *shudders* Seriously, I'd have to move. I have a ridiculously strong phobia towards rats!


Unfortunately, I share this phobia. Rats are nocturnal, and I don't troll the garden at night (especially since its on a steeply terraced hillside and slightly difficult to navigate even in the day.) Nonetheless, several times since the infiltrators were discovered i've been out in the garden as, say, an innocent basil leaf brushed my leg, and let out a panicked, earsplitting scream that suggests I have perhaps been stabbed in the eye with a fork. 

But I know that rats are literally everywhere, so I can't evade them so easily. Especially with a garden. :frustrating: Fortunately, my husband has volunteered himself for rat depopulation duty. And they are not in the house. If they were... I couldn't sleep.


----------



## FePa

I used to have this phobia with roaches, very common in home country, it doesn't exist here, so I got "cured"
Hihihihi


----------



## sittapygmaea

ugh. i grew up in a swampy semi-tropical environment with these huge flying roaches. none where i live now, and i will be happy if i never see one again, but i still have a trigger reflex for bugs landing on me. once a small spider came down from the ceiling onto my glasses. at that distance... it looked _*enormous*_. naturally, i punched myself in the face, breaking my glasses. 




FePa said:


> I used to have this phobia with roaches, very common in home country, it doesn't exist here, so I got "cured"
> Hihihihi


----------



## FePa

sittapygmaea said:


> ugh. i grew up in a swampy semi-tropical environment with these huge flying roaches. none where i live now, and i will be happy if i never see one again, but i still have a trigger reflex for bugs landing on me. once a small spider came down from the ceiling onto my glasses. at that distance... it looked _*enormous*_. naturally, i punched myself in the face, breaking my glasses.


Hahaha hahaha hahaha
Sorry
))


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> Unfortunately, I share this phobia. Rats are nocturnal, and I don't troll the garden at night (especially since its on a steeply terraced hillside and slightly difficult to navigate even in the day.) * Nonetheless, several times since the infiltrators were discovered i've been out in the garden as, say, an innocent basil leaf brushed my leg, and let out a panicked, earsplitting scream that suggests I have perhaps been stabbed in the eye with a fork. *
> 
> But I know that rats are literally everywhere, so I can't evade them so easily. Especially with a garden. :frustrating: Fortunately, my husband has volunteered himself for rat depopulation duty. And they are not in the house. If they were... I couldn't sleep.


Lol -- that would be so me! *hugs Sitta in sympathy* And it's just as bad for me with the teeny "cute" little mice. My coworkers know my phobia so well now that if a mouse gets into our office building, they close my door for me and say nothing about it until it's taken care of. The only way I can work in my office after finding that one had gotten into my snack supply was to buy some of those plug-in sonic repellants (even though my one coworker says they don't work) and operate on denial that the things can penetrate my office space!


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> I used to have this phobia with roaches, very common in home country, it doesn't exist here, so I got "cured"
> Hihihihi


Does your home country have the giant ones? *shudders at memories of stories about giant roaches in tropical countries...*

(And nice to see you still here, Feeps *hugs*)


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> ugh. i grew up in a swampy semi-tropical environment with these huge flying roaches. none where i live now, and i will be happy if i never see one again, but i still have a trigger reflex for bugs landing on me. once a small spider came down from the ceiling onto my glasses. at that distance... it looked _*enormous*_. naturally, i punched myself in the face, breaking my glasses.


*shudders*


FePa said:


> Hahaha hahaha hahaha
> Sorry
> ))


Feeps, that's so wrong! *suppresses a grin*


----------



## kdamazon

Other than grizzly bears, wolverines, mountain lions, moose, wolves and drunk ********... it's pretty tame here . I mean, not a lot of stinging, biting buggy things.


----------



## FePa

Lizabeth said:


> Does your home country have the giant ones? *shudders at memories of stories about giant roaches in tropical countries...*
> 
> (And nice to see you still here, Feeps *hugs*)


Not in the city where I came from, because it's not a humid tropical paradise (it's more like a savana)
But yeah, being a biologist imagine how I behaved at entomology classes

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Thanks sweetie, I can't be down for too long, suicidal mode doesn't match me, better serial killer mode



Lizabeth said:


> *shudders*
> 
> 
> Feeps, that's so wrong! *suppresses a grin*



I wasn't laughing at her, I was laughing with her
(Hehehe Hehehe )


----------



## Mr.Venture

I personally like spiders *ducks a thrown pillow* and I always carry them outside my house when I find one *gets smacked by a second one* Really! Spiders and dragonflies perform a valuable service! Plus, I always heard it was good luck to be kind to spiders. Doesn't mean I let them just roam the house willy-nilly, but I will go out of my way to make sure they have a nice wood pile to do their hunting in. *tongue face*

Mice don't bother me either - too cute. *gets smacked again* Okay, that's getting tiresome now. *re-adjusts glasses* I treat them with more respect since they are more likely to bite. They also eat through kitchens, so I have to take that more seriously. I'll still do my best not to hurt them though. Those glue traps in particular are awful. When I had a cat, I worried less about mice. Since she died (unrelated ), I've thought about getting another one. Cats are the best defense I find.

Cockroaches though? *shudders at the thouht*


----------



## FePa

Mr.Venture said:


> I personally like spiders *ducks a thrown pillow* and I always carry them outside my house when I find one *gets smacked by a second one* Really! Spiders and dragonflies perform a valuable service! Plus, I always heard it was good luck to be kind to spiders. Doesn't mean I let them just roam the house willy-nilly, but I will go out of my way to make sure they have a nice wood pile to do their hunting in. *tongue face*
> 
> Mice don't bother me either - too cute. *gets smacked again* Okay, that's getting tiresome now. *re-adjusts glasses* I treat them with more respect since they are more likely to bite. They also eat through kitchens, so I have to take that more seriously. I'll still do my best not to hurt them though. Those glue traps in particular are awful. When I had a cat, I worried less about mice. Since she died (unrelated ), I've thought about getting another one. Cats are the best defense I find.
> 
> Cockroaches though? *shudders at the thouht*


Yeah !
My pillows (yes, plural, I use three-unrelated) are still in my bed


----------



## Mr.Venture

FePa said:


> Yeah !
> My pillows (yes, plural, I use three-unrelated) are still in my bed


Which is why I chose to rest there gorgeous. *starts to give a hot smile when a pillow-missle knocks him clean off and onto the floor*

*head pops up, glasses askew again* *grinning from ear to ear*


----------



## FePa

Mr.Venture said:


> Which is why I chose to rest there gorgeous. *starts to give a hot smile when a pillow-missle knocks him clean off and onto the floor*
> 
> *head pops up, glasses askew again* *grinning from ear to ear*


Two naughty monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumps his head. ..


----------



## Mr.Venture

FePa said:


> Two naughty monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumps his head. ..


*perches on the edge, impish grin on his face* Amazing how often that happens to me, huh? *belly laughs*


----------



## Lizabeth

*peeks in and peers around * It's too quiet in here. How's everybody doing?


----------



## sittapygmaea

I am just back from my quick trip to Yosemite. It's just a 3.5 hour drive from here, making a long weekend possible though I would have preferred to stay at least a week. Long days out hiking in the quiet, peaceful alpine scenery and nights relaxing with friends over dinner and drinks: I could have taken a few weeks more of that. I hope @kdamazon is off relaxing in the wilds herself. 

I came home to the revelation that my little (38 year old) brother is a serious alcoholic. His fiance called my mom yesterday morning in tears, and is just coming to the realization that he has a problem. I am not surprised, though he is a successful, high-functioning person who hides it well. He lives far enough away that no one else in the family is part of his daily life or knows his friends or colleagues. He has always been a life-of-the-party charmer who spends many nights a week out on the town, but I have never seen him drunk or even drinking when the rest of the family isn't (having wine with dinner, for example). He has been a serial monogamist who never seemed in love before his current fiance, and it will be devastating for them both if they don't make it. She is considering a family intervention, but since no one other than her has witnessed problematic behavior, I'm not sure this course of action will be effective. Given the amounts he seems to drink, I worry about the damage he has already done to himself. Although we are as amusingly dissimilar, I have always shared a special bond with my brother. I just want him to be OK. I don't want to watch this, powerless.


----------



## FePa

Lizabeth said:


> Phew! Feeps isn't perfect! Means maybe it's not impossible for me to live up to your standards, my sensei :wink:


Oh my standards... impossible even for myself


----------



## Mr.Venture

FePa said:


> Oh my standards... impossible even for myself


^^ This *winks*


----------



## sittapygmaea

He's ALIVE! HE'S ALIVE!!! 

sorry. got a little overexcited there. :wink:



Mr.Venture said:


> ^^ This *winks*


----------



## sittapygmaea

The geriatric reference was tongue in cheek, though I must report that I am bemused/annoyed with my own recent awareness of my aging. Wasn't college just a few years ago... uh, no; not anymore sweetie. The current crop of college students was born in the _late_ 1990's. I have started to pluck out some nettlesome grey hairs that stick up out of the top of my head like antennae (and you know how I feel about bugs). The last time I went to the doctor they reported: "now that you're over 40, we need to throw in a few additional tests. You've never had your cholesterol taken? Tsk Tsk. From now on you get a yearly visit with the mammogram machine. Enjoy!" 

So to you all: grey hairs, 'adults' born in 1997, and mammogram technicians, I say... bite me. 



Lizabeth said:


> lol Sitta. No, folks haven't gotten geriatric. They've just gotten busy. And we've lost @Mr.Venture to the shadowy world of mafia. :sad: He's still sexy, though.


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> The geriatric reference was tongue in cheek, though I must report that I am bemused/annoyed with my own recent awareness of my aging. Wasn't college just a few years ago... uh, no; not anymore sweetie. The current crop of college students was born in the _late_ 1990's. I have started to pluck out some nettlesome grey hairs that stick up out of the top of my head like antennae (and you know how I feel about bugs). The last time I went to the doctor they reported: "now that you're over 40, we need to throw in a few additional tests. You've never had your cholesterol taken? Tsk Tsk. From now on you get a yearly visit with the mammogram machine. Enjoy!"
> 
> So to you all: grey hairs, 'adults' born in 1997, and mammogram technicians, I say... bite me.


lol Sitta -- I know you were only joking. I was amused as well! Don't worry, I'm not easily offended! You'd have to actually be trying to offend me. :tongue:

And yeah, I got together with an old high school friend and her 13 year old -- 13!!!! - daughter the other day. And my best friend from elementary school's daughter just turned 20. How the heck is that possible? And yeah, university was...too many years ago for me to want to bother counting *sigh* 

Only have one gray hair that pops up about once a year. My parents went grey late, so I'm hoping I inherited those genes!


----------



## sittapygmaea

You lucky thing. I have more gray hair than my mother, (who pretty much has none at 65) though less than my (older) sister or (younger) brother. But they both have beautiful dark brown hair and the grey really stands out. My brother has been dying his hair since his mid twenties. He also has his eyebrows waxed regularly and goes to tanning salons. Need I say that he lives in LA? Neither my sister nor I has done any of these things. On the scale of primping girliness, I'm the least, my brother is the most and my sister is in the middle. I've been known to have my husband trim my (longish straight) hair to avoid the hair salon. My brother knows "his stylist" well and sees him every month. This is just one of many major personality (and physical) differences between us. It's a miracle we came from the same genetic pool. In fact, last year we both did 23&me. I was incredibly amused to discover that the chances of a brother and sister sharing as little dna as we do is less than 1%. I.e., we're exceptionally genetically dissimilar for brother and sister. Which anyone who has met us could tell you. In spite of (or perhaps because of) our differences, we have always gotten along really well, though we both fought with our older sister. She was the bossy "good girl" and you know how that goes over with younger siblings...



Lizabeth said:


> Only have one gray hair that pops up about once a year. My parents went grey late, so I'm hoping I inherited those genes!


----------



## Mr.Venture

Only one older sister here - and we're fairly disimilar as well. 

Sorry I've been so absent everyone. The current mafia game I'm in is actually so confusing that I'm just going to leave it alone for a while until things settle down and it becomes more predicatable again. In the meantime, I'd rather spend my time with the other nice Gen X NFs here. *warm smiles all around*

I believe us men get the better deal when it comes to aging btw. I don't spend an obnoxious amount of time on my appearance, but I do try to keep it up. Having said that, grey hair on a man always looks "distinguished" right? I've seen a few women really struggle with the idea of aging when they hit 30, but I've seen quite a few men feel like that was when they truly came into their own. 

Fair? Not fair? That's a whole 'nother topic. *offers rooibos tea*


----------



## FePa

sittapygmaea said:


> The geriatric reference was tongue in cheek, though I must report that I am bemused/annoyed with my own recent awareness of my aging. Wasn't college just a few years ago... uh, no; not anymore sweetie. The current crop of college students was born in the _late_ 1990's. I have started to pluck out some nettlesome grey hairs that stick up out of the top of my head like antennae (and you know how I feel about bugs). The last time I went to the doctor they reported: "now that you're over 40, we need to throw in a few additional tests. You've never had your cholesterol taken? Tsk Tsk. From now on you get a yearly visit with the mammogram machine. Enjoy!"
> 
> So to you all: grey hairs, 'adults' born in 1997, and mammogram technicians, I say... bite me.


Sitta, I've decided to return to college, currently taking another masters. 
The oldest colleague in the class, is 10 years younger than me.
Most of them are 23-24...
We're learning things that were invented after I left college. ..
They all nod in understanding and knowledge when the teacher says "so you all know that right? I nod in horror "what was that? "

Yep, those gray antenna hairs are also being plucked and the other day I bought my first acid anti wrinkle cream... if I don't sleep at least 6h/night, I'm dead the next day...

But I feel so young inside! 
I still look it up in a clear full moon night and send wishes to the stars, I might not have a single idea of how the experiment would work in the lab, it's my first time too, but I'm the first one to try when the rest is hesitant - I might have done something similar or whatever, I just know it won't be that much difficult or impossible otherwise it wouldn't be taught in a first year class

While they were all still isolated from each other in the first week, all shy, I was already acquaintance with half the class, knowing all their strength (yeah, study partner! ) or weakness (hummm I'll invite this one to that group, she needs)

Part of this is being an ENFP, I guess. The other part is the wonderful maturity that comes when you're approaching 40...

))


But my knees still hurt after a 20km bike ride and aspirin is my best friend after one drink only


----------



## FePa

sittapygmaea said:


> You lucky thing. I have more gray hair than my mother, (who pretty much has none at 65) though less than my (older) sister or (younger) brother. But they both have beautiful dark brown hair and the grey really stands out. My brother has been dying his hair since his mid twenties. He also has his eyebrows waxed regularly and goes to tanning salons. Need I say that he lives in LA? Neither my sister nor I has done any of these things. On the scale of primping girliness, I'm the least, my brother is the most and my sister is in the middle. I've been known to have my husband trim my (longish straight) hair to avoid the hair salon. My brother knows "his stylist" well and sees him every month. This is just one of many major personality (and physical) differences between us. It's a miracle we came from the same genetic pool. In fact, last year we both did 23&me. I was incredibly amused to discover that the chances of a brother and sister sharing as little dna as we do is less than 1%. I.e., we're exceptionally genetically dissimilar for brother and sister. Which anyone who has met us could tell you. In spite of (or perhaps because of) our differences, we have always gotten along really well, though we both fought with our older sister. She was the bossy "good girl" and you know how that goes over with younger siblings...


There's so much DNA recombination...

But what's 23&me ?


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> You lucky thing. I have more gray hair than my mother, (who pretty much has none at 65) though less than my (older) sister or (younger) brother. But they both have beautiful dark brown hair and the grey really stands out. My brother has been dying his hair since his mid twenties. He also has his eyebrows waxed regularly and goes to tanning salons. Need I say that he lives in LA? Neither my sister nor I has done any of these things. On the scale of primping girliness, I'm the least, my brother is the most and my sister is in the middle. I've been known to have my husband trim my (longish straight) hair to avoid the hair salon. My brother knows "his stylist" well and sees him every month. This is just one of many major personality (and physical) differences between us. It's a miracle we came from the same genetic pool. In fact, last year we both did 23&me. I was incredibly amused to discover that the chances of a brother and sister sharing as little dna as we do is less than 1%. I.e., we're exceptionally genetically dissimilar for brother and sister. Which anyone who has met us could tell you. In spite of (or perhaps because of) our differences, we have always gotten along really well, though we both fought with our older sister. She was the bossy "good girl" and you know how that goes over with younger siblings...


Yeah, I know how that is with siblings. Except that after my brother hit puberty and when all crazy and rebellious our roles flipped and I became the bossy "good girl" sib :tongue:

Well, I don't think I was so much bossy as "ugh! what is WRONG with you?"


----------



## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> Only one older sister here - and we're fairly disimilar as well.
> 
> Sorry I've been so absent everyone. The current mafia game I'm in is actually so confusing that I'm just going to leave it alone for a while until things settle down and it becomes more predicatable again. In the meantime, I'd rather spend my time with the other nice Gen X NFs here. *warm smiles all around*
> 
> I believe us men get the better deal when it comes to aging btw. I don't spend an obnoxious amount of time on my appearance, but I do try to keep it up. Having said that, grey hair on a man always looks "distinguished" right? I've seen a few women really struggle with the idea of aging when they hit 30, but I've seen quite a few men feel like that was when they truly came into their own.
> 
> Fair? Not fair? That's a whole 'nother topic. *offers rooibos tea*


Oh Venture. I've got to respect a man who is brave enough to discuss gender and aging in a room full of women. And charming enough to serve tea while doing it. And worldly enough to know what rooibos tea is. 

*holds out her gold and pink tea cup to accept a pour* 

I think what you said is fair, in general, but I do think that things are slowly shifting for women. There are more actresses in Hollywood now than in the past who are letting themselves age more gracefully and who are embracing their age. I'm thinking of Diane Keaton, Jamie Lee Curtis, Meryl Streep, for example. As opposed to the ridiculously and impossibly young looking onese who keep stretching their faces and dying their hair so that they can look 30 when they're 65. It's not many, for sure, and I think that it sets a bit of an example for women to see women who have been in the spotlight and in a glamourous industry just let themselves be themeselves instead of trying to set a standard that's impossible for most women to attain. 

Personally, I always told myself that I would let myself go grey whenver I went grey. But when I first saw that grey hair pop up, I admit that I thought to myself "Oh my god! It's starting!" It was a mixture of horror and amusement. If more than one starts popping up at a time, I'll probably give up on plucking them out and just see where it goes from there. I think...


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> There's so much DNA recombination...
> 
> But what's 23&me ?


Oh yeah! I forgot that we have a resident genetics expert in our midst! 

*realizes that it is all the more reason to admire her friend Feeps*


----------



## FePa

Lizabeth said:


> Yeah, I know how that is with siblings. Except that after my brother hit puberty and when all crazy and rebellious our roles flipped and I became the bossy "good girl" sib :tongue:
> 
> Well, I don't think I was so much bossy as "ugh! what is WRONG with you?"


I'm the first born, 8 years older than my brother.
My natural queen personality just got highlighted with this age difference...


----------



## Lizabeth

Ha, the talk about women and aging and power made me think of this song -- because I think part of the shift also has to do with women becoming increasingly financially indepedent and taking on more power broker types of roles in society as well. There's still a gross imbalance, but some change is better than no change I think.

But anyway, here's a Gen X throwback.... anyone remember this song?


----------



## FePa

Lizabeth said:


> Oh yeah! I forgot that we have a resident genetics expert in our midst!
> 
> *realizes that it is all the more reason to admire her friend Feeps*


*reading about this 23&me kit*
https://www.23andme.com/ancestry/

Thanks
:blushed:
no reason to admire me that much... when I cannot simply make a math tax calculation, know zero about politics and still get lost in the city I live for the last 8 years WHILE using a GPS...





Lizabeth said:


> Oh Venture. I've got to respect a man who is brave enough to discuss gender and aging in a room full of women. And charming enough to serve tea while doing it. And worldly enough to know what rooibos tea is.
> 
> *holds out her gold and pink tea cup to accept a pour*
> 
> I think what you said is fair, in general, but I do think that things are slowly shifting for women. There are more actresses in Hollywood now than in the past who are letting themselves age more gracefully and who are embracing their age. I'm thinking of Diane Keaton, Jamie Lee Curtis, Meryl Streep, for example. As opposed to the ridiculously and impossibly young looking onese who keep stretching their faces and dying their hair so that they can look 30 when they're 65. It's not many, for sure, and I think that it sets a bit of an example for women to see women who have been in the spotlight and in a glamourous industry just let themselves be themeselves instead of trying to set a standard that's impossible for most women to attain.
> 
> Personally, I always told myself that I would let myself go grey whenver I went grey. But when I first saw that grey hair pop up, I admit that I thought to myself "Oh my god! It's starting!" It was a mixture of horror and amusement. If more than one starts popping up at a time, I'll probably give up on plucking them out and just see where it goes from there. I think...


me too
me too
I see all this danish women aging so gracefully, letting their hair be salt and pepper, still biking and using tennis shoes and I want so much be like them (I am actually, I don't remember the last time I wear high heels) but I confess it's just a tad disappointing when the breasts are a big soggy... you discover another freckle in your hand (I'm covered in them anyway, specially on my face and shoulders) the grey hairs invading the scene (I still won't dye, but I confess that I pluck more than I should...)


----------



## FePa

sittapygmaea said:


> You lucky thing. I have more gray hair than my mother, (who pretty much has none at 65) though less than my (older) sister or (younger) brother. But they both have beautiful dark brown hair and the grey really stands out. My brother has been dying his hair since his mid twenties. He also has his eyebrows waxed regularly and goes to tanning salons. Need I say that he lives in LA? Neither my sister nor I has done any of these things. On the scale of primping girliness, I'm the least, my brother is the most and my sister is in the middle. I've been known to have my husband trim my (longish straight) hair to avoid the hair salon. My brother knows "his stylist" well and sees him every month. This is just one of many major personality (and physical) differences between us. It's a miracle we came from the same genetic pool. In fact, last year we both did 23&me. I was incredibly amused to discover that the chances of a brother and sister sharing as little dna as we do is less than 1%. I.e., we're exceptionally genetically dissimilar for brother and sister. Which anyone who has met us could tell you. In spite of (or perhaps because of) our differences, we have always gotten along really well, though we both fought with our older sister. She was the bossy "good girl" and you know how that goes over with younger siblings...


Did you do the test prior to november ?
I could see that you got the raw uninterpreted genetic analysis 
Did you have someone checking it ?
This is not a paternity-sibbling kit, did they compare your sample to your brothers or both were analyzed separated ?


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> *reading about this 23&me kit*
> https://www.23andme.com/ancestry/
> 
> Thanks
> :blushed:
> no reason to admire me that much... when I cannot simply make a math tax calculation, know zero about politics and still get lost in the city I live for the last 8 years WHILE using a GPS...


Oh, Feeps. Stop trying to make me heart you less. It's too late. I already know that you're incredibly awesome. If you were anymore awesome it would be a flaw, so it's only fitting that you have some flaws to ensure the authenticity of your awesomeness. 



FePa said:


> me too
> me too
> I see all this danish women aging so gracefully, letting their hair be salt and pepper, still biking and using tennis shoes and I want so much be like them (I am actually, I don't remember the last time I wear high heels) but I confess it's just a tad disappointing when the breasts are a big soggy... you discover another freckle in your hand (I'm covered in them anyway, specially on my face and shoulders) the grey hairs invading the scene (I still won't dye, but I confess that I pluck more than I should...)


Ha! I have a bunch of old lady role models that I look at and say "I want to be like them when I grow up!"

They're feisty, funny, physically active, independent, and smart. That's why I'm paying a trainer right now to whip me into shape -- I want to be that awesome, gracefully aging, but totally fit and bad ass old lady when I finally grow up.


----------



## FePa

Lizabeth said:


> Oh, Feeps. Stop trying to make me heart you less. It's too late. I already know that you're incredibly awesome. If you were anymore awesome it would be a flaw, so it's only fitting that you have some flaws to ensure the authenticity of your awesomeness.
> 
> 
> 
> Ha! I have a bunch of old lady role models that I look at and say "I want to be like them when I grow up!"
> 
> They're feisty, funny, physically active, independent, and smart. That's why I'm paying a trainer right now to whip me into shape -- I want to be that awesome, gracefully aging, but totally fit and bad ass old lady when I finally grow up.


I want someone whip me to shape too !!


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> I want someone whip me to shape too !!


I can share him with you, but you'd have to move to Canada *smiles at her crafty ploy* 

I warn you though -- he's only 22 but he's a tough little bastard. He keeps coming up with new ways of torturing me and takes far too much glee in it. Whenever I complain about being sore or my muscles tiring, he shoots back -- very drily and unsympathetically, I might add -- "That's what's supposed to happen!"

But he's good at what he does, which is why I keep paying the little bastard :dry:


----------



## FePa

Lizabeth said:


> I can share him with you, but you'd have to move to Canada *smiles at her crafty ploy*
> 
> I warn you though -- he's only 22 but he's a tough little bastard. He keeps coming up with new ways of torturing me and takes far too much glee in it. Whenever I complain about being sore or my muscles tiring, he shoots back -- very drily and unsympathetically, I might add -- "That's what's supposed to happen!"
> 
> But he's good at what he does, which is why I keep paying the little bastard :dry:


I will refrain from any twisting of your comments...

Ok, honey, I will move to Canada so we can share your 22 personal trainer


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> I will refrain from any twisting of your comments...
> 
> Ok, honey, I will move to Canada so we can share your 22 personal trainer


:blushed:

lol Feeps! Why you gotta call me out like that! :laughing:

But yay on you moving to Canada!


----------



## FePa

Lizabeth said:


> :blushed:
> 
> lol Feeps! Why you gotta call me out like that! :laughing:
> 
> But yay on you moving to Canada!


I ♥ Snoopy !!


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> I ♥ Snoopy !!


And I ♥ you! :tongue:


----------



## Mr.Venture

*sipping his own tea calmly, though it's out of a Tim Horton's travel mug*

There are certain "markers" for aging aren't there? Grey hair is a common one, and saggy breasts another *looks at @FePa, clearly still admiring* but I'm also wondering about the more insubstantial ones. Our bodies age, to be sure, but the markers of aging that have always most concerned me are things like marriage, home ownership, having kids, etc.

*another sip* Am I alone in this?


----------



## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> *sipping his own tea calmly, though it's out of a Tim Horton's travel mug*
> 
> There are certain "markers" for aging aren't there? Grey hair is a common one, and saggy breasts another *looks at @FePa, clearly still admiring* but I'm also wondering about the more insubstantial ones. Our bodies age, to be sure, but the markers of aging that have always most concerned me are things like marriage, home ownership, having kids, etc.
> 
> *another sip* Am I alone in this?


Hmm...let me think about that. *takes a sip from her dainty gold and pink teacup* 

I used to think that way, and marriage, home ownership, and kids are certainly markers of stages in life, but I no longer think they define my age -- or I should say maturity. It just makes the stages of my maturity different from the ones experienced by those who have all that stuff. If and when I chose to get married and have kids it will be because the right time and circumstances come about for me personally. It won't be driven by the ticking of my biological clock, but rather by the ticking of my internal sense of time, if that makes any sense. It used to bug me, but now I'm finding that since I passed that 40 marker some of the pressure is off. It's like well, I reached 40 without hitting all those milestones I thought I needed to hit by the time I was 40 and the world didn't end. I should just enjoy and appreciate who I am and what I've accomplished, figure out what I actually want (not what I feel like I need to) with the next stages of my life and get on with enjoying whatever may come. 

*sips her tea while looking down at her own breasts, a little jealous that Venture is so focused on @FePa's awesome tatas and isn't paying any attention to her own generous cleavage that she has purposely put on display for this tea party* 
:tongue:


----------



## Mr.Venture

Lizabeth said:


> Hmm...let me think about that. *takes a sip from her dainty gold and pink teacup*
> 
> I used to think that way, and marriage, home ownership, and kids are certainly markers of stages in life, but I no longer think they define my age -- or I should say maturity. It just makes the stages of my maturity different from the ones experienced by those who have all that stuff. If and when I chose to get married and have kids it will be because the right time and circumstances come about for me personally. It won't be driven by the ticking of my biological clock, but rather by the ticking of my internal sense of time, if that makes any sense. It used to bug me, but now I'm finding that since I passed that 40 marker some of the pressure is off. It's like well, I reached 40 without hitting all those milestones I thought I needed to hit by the time I was 40 and the world didn't end. I should just enjoy and appreciate who I am and what I've accomplished, figure out what I actually want (not what I feel like I need to) with the next stages of my life and get on with enjoying whatever may come.
> 
> *sips her tea while looking down at her own breasts, a little jealous that Venture is so focused on @FePa's awesome tatas and isn't paying any attention to her own generous cleavage that she has purposely put on display for this tea party*
> :tongue:


*hand on your thigh* *sudden vulnerability* I've always struggled more with those intangible markers. My body aging has bothered me less over the years, but the other markers of "a hard won life" seem to mean more to me. It's been difficult to let them go in the way I believe you are ultimately sensible for doing.

Even so, each one still has the emotional weight of "success" or "failure" attached to it.

*flash of grief, but not passing so quickly he didn't notice it* *leans back again*


----------



## FePa

*looks at your cups and think, do I have to drink tea, too? I don't feel old enough for that*
*laughs at this thought, since she's older than @Mr.Venture*
*ok, let's blame the equador, we are not much of a tea drinker country, too hot*
*serves herself a nice icey water with mint leaves*

I used to drive my mom mad saying all throughout my teenager days that I was going to die at 40.
In fact, I was perfectly convinced (still have two years, so, who knows) until a psychologist her friend saídas that she should just agree with me, yes, you're right, you are indeed going to die at 40, because everybody does, psychologically that switch of personality, the raise of inner child and the fall of those walls, those boundaries. 
I feel so free as when I was 25, even if only mostly in my mind


----------



## Mr.Venture

FePa said:


> *looks at your cups and think, do I have to drink tea, too? I don't feel old enough for that*
> *laughs at this thought, since she's older than @Mr.Venture*
> *ok, let's blame the equador, we are not much of a tea drinker country, too hot*
> *serves herself a nice icey water with mint leaves*
> 
> I used to drive my mom mad saying all throughout my teenager days that I was going to die at 40.
> In fact, I was perfectly convinced (still have two years, so, who knows) until a psychologist her friend saídas that she should just agree with me, yes, you're right, you are indeed going to die at 40, because everybody does, psychologically that switch of personality, the raise of inner child and the fall of those walls, those boundaries.
> I feel so free as when I was 25, even if only mostly in my mind


*smiles into his mug* Older doesn't mean any less attractive.

I'd be interested in hearing more about this psychological death/transformation.


----------



## FePa

Mr.Venture said:


> *smiles into his mug* Older doesn't mean any less attractive.
> 
> I'd be interested in hearing more about this psychological death/transformation.


I cannot have any reference right now, but I can try to research for you, my pretty babe
Those are parts of lost memories of he said, she said, they say , it's known... theories we keep in this bottomless brain of ours


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> *looks at your cups and think, do I have to drink tea, too? I don't feel old enough for that*
> *laughs at this thought, since she's older than @Mr.Venture*
> *ok, let's blame the equador, we are not much of a tea drinker country, too hot*
> *serves herself a nice icey water with mint leaves*
> 
> I used to drive my mom mad saying all throughout my teenager days that I was going to die at 40.
> In fact, I was perfectly convinced (still have two years, so, who knows) until a psychologist her friend saídas that she should just agree with me, yes, you're right, you are indeed going to die at 40, because everybody does, psychologically that switch of personality, the raise of inner child and the fall of those walls, those boundaries.
> I feel so free as when I was 25, even if only mostly in my mind


Wow! That's deep -- seriously. I like that thought...*ponders*

Feeps, I seriously thought you were much younger than I was! Okay, that makes it far less weird that we're long-lost twins now :tongue:


----------



## Mr.Venture

FePa said:


> I cannot have any reference right now, but I can try to research for you, my pretty babe
> Those are parts of lost memories of he said, she said, they say , it's known... theories we keep in this bottomless brain of ours





Lizabeth said:


> Wow! That's deep -- seriously. I like that thought...*ponders*
> 
> Feeps, I seriously thought you were much younger than I was! Okay, that makes it far less weird that we're long-lost twins now :tongue:


"The key to longevity - and immortality - lies in transformation." - M.M.


----------



## FePa

Mr.Venture said:


> "The key to longevity - and immortality - lies in transformation." - M.M.


Hot, sexy and wise
Just like I like my man


----------



## FePa

Lizabeth said:


> Wow! That's deep -- seriously. I like that thought...*ponders*
> 
> Feeps, I seriously thought you were much younger than I was! Okay, that makes it far less weird that we're long-lost twins now :tongue:


By mr Google, generation X ends in 1977, right? 
I'm from 76, so...

Do I "sound" much younger? 
I certainly look so too
Hihihihi
:tongue:


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> By mr Google, generation X ends in 1977, right?
> I'm from 76, so...
> 
> Do I "sound" much younger?
> I certainly look so too
> Hihihihi
> :tongue:


Well, for the purposes of this sight I think they go up to the early 80s for the cutoff! 

And yes, you do sound young, but I think that I keep forgetting how old I actually am and that confuses me :tongue:

But no, I thought I had seen you say that you were 34/35 -- but I must have gotten you mixed up with someone else.


----------



## FePa

Lizabeth said:


> Well, for the purposes of this sight I think they go up to the early 80s for the cutoff!
> 
> And yes, you do sound young, but I think that I keep forgetting how old I actually am and that confuses me :tongue:
> 
> But no, I thought I had seen you say that you were 34/35 -- but I must have gotten you mixed up with someone else.


38 and 4 months of pure sexiness, hotness, wonderfulness, playfulness and brainless, 
ops, 
brainyness ...


----------



## FePa

Lizabeth said:


> Well, for the purposes of this sight I think they go up to the early 80s for the cutoff!
> 
> And yes, you do sound young, but I think that I keep forgetting how old I actually am and that confuses me :tongue:
> 
> But no, I thought I had seen you say that you were 34/35 -- but I must have gotten you mixed up with someone else.


And you should stop with this you're old, if you didn't say, I also would think you're early thirty! 
No sleazy suck up, seriously


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> And you should stop with this you're old, if you didn't say, I also would think you're early thirty!
> No sleazy suck up, seriously


awwww shucks...thanks Feeps :blushed:


----------



## Endless Rainbows

Yep born in '81 here! They have changed the parameters. Per Wikipedia, Gen Y now starts in 1980???


----------



## Mr.Venture

Endless Rainbows said:


> Yep born in '81 here! They have changed the parameters. Per Wikipedia, Gen Y now starts in 1980???


I think we can all agree it's just plain "fuzzy" where the lines are. I remember G.I. Joe and Transformers on Saturday morning television, and thinking Sesame Street and The Muppet Show were awesomely cool. That's good enough for me.

Edit: Love your avatar. I used to rotate through that artist for my wallpapers.


----------



## Endless Rainbows

Mr.Venture said:


> I think we can all agree it's just plain "fuzzy" where the lines are. I remember G.I. Joe and Transformers on Saturday morning television, and thinking Sesame Street and The Muppet Show were awesomely cool. That's good enough for me.
> 
> Edit: Love your avatar. I used to rotate through that artist for my wallpapers.


Thanks! 

The Muppet Show and Sesame Street are awesomely cool. Who says little kids don't have good taste, haha?  

I grew up watching Reading Rainbow and the re-runs of Mr. Rogers. My brother loved GI Joe and Voltron and Transformers. I had a She-Ra action figure and loved My Little Pony and Rainbow Brite. Oh, those were the days with sugary breakfast cereals and actually good Saturday morning cartoons instead of the epileptic stuff they show now. No wonder kids have ADHD, it can't be good for the developing brain to be bombarded with so many images.


----------



## FePa

@Lizabeth !!!! 
Run over here right [email protected]

We have got a Giver ENFJ !!

*faints at the emotion*

Hello darling @Endless Rainbows
Welcome welcome
(


----------



## Endless Rainbows

FePa said:


> @Lizabeth !!!!
> Run over here right [email protected]
> 
> We have got a Giver ENFJ !!
> 
> *faints at the emotion*
> 
> Hello darling @Endless Rainbows
> Welcome welcome
> (


Thank you @FePa! 

I love the quote you have on the bottom. 

"It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for – and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool – for love – for your dreams – for the adventure of being alive."

Oh, darling NF's, the dreamers, the idealists, the ones who like talking about the bigger issues and the lovers of humanity. 

So good to be here! <3 <3 <3


----------



## FePa

Endless Rainbows said:


> Thank you @FePa!
> 
> I love the quote you have on the bottom.
> 
> "It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for – and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool – for love – for your dreams – for the adventure of being alive."
> 
> Oh, darling NF's, the dreamers, the idealists, the ones who like talking about the bigger issues and the lovers of humanity.
> 
> So good to be here! <3 <3 <3


♥


----------



## Mr.Venture

Endless Rainbows said:


> Thanks!
> 
> The Muppet Show and Sesame Street are awesomely cool. Who says little kids don't have good taste, haha?
> 
> I grew up watching Reading Rainbow and the re-runs of Mr. Rogers. My brother loved GI Joe and Voltron and Transformers. I had a She-Ra action figure and loved My Little Pony and Rainbow Brite. Oh, those were the days with sugary breakfast cereals and actually good Saturday morning cartoons instead of the epileptic stuff they show now. No wonder kids have ADHD, it can't be good for the developing brain to be bombarded with so many images.


Okay, you just _literally_ named all my childhood memories of toys and television. I don't care what Wikipedia says, we're clearly the same generation. *smiles*


----------



## Mr.Venture

Indeed! Here here! Let us celebrate our dreamy-ness! *starts making placards*

Hmm... What shall I write on them?...


----------



## Endless Rainbows

Mr.Venture said:


> Indeed! Here here! Let us celebrate our dreamy-ness! *starts making placards*
> 
> Hmm... What shall I write on them?...


How to create a better world . . . how to spread the love and not the hate . . . how to teach people to accept the differences of people. 

NF's, the ones who would create a better world that would benefit the people. 

I have a friend who runs a NF meetup group here in Los Angeles and I attended one of the meetings and the loveliest people who loved to talk about ideas and meaning and life. Such interesting talks we shared!


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> @Lizabeth !!!!
> Run over here right [email protected]
> 
> We have got a Giver ENFJ !!
> 
> *faints at the emotion*
> 
> Hello darling @Endless Rainbows
> Welcome welcome
> (


Whaaa?! Whoa! An ENFJ? Where? Where? 

(Hope I didn't scare her/him off with my enthusiasm...)


----------



## Endless Rainbows

LOL, not at all, @Lizabeth! Hi there! ENFJ's are equally enthusiastic beings who love people!

Big Generation X NF group hug!! 

Here's a great website with all the different personality types. It's my go to page when I want to understand a type.

Personality types | 16Personalities


----------



## Lizabeth

Endless Rainbows said:


> LOL, not at all, @Lizabeth! Hi there! ENFJ's are equally enthusiastic beings who love people!
> 
> Big Generation X NF group hug!!
> 
> Here's a great website with all the different personality types. It's my go to page when I want to understand a type.
> 
> Personality types | 16Personalities


Hey, Rainbows! *hugs back* 

Actually, that website was my first stop in my MBTI journey. It's pretty straighforward to use/read, so yeah it's a good starting point. 

Hope we'll be seeing more of you around here. We were bemoaning the fact that our ENFJ cousins never came to visit us.


----------



## Lizabeth

Endless Rainbows said:


> Thanks!
> 
> The Muppet Show and Sesame Street are awesomely cool. Who says little kids don't have good taste, haha?
> 
> I grew up watching Reading Rainbow and the re-runs of Mr. Rogers. My brother loved GI Joe and Voltron and Transformers. I had a She-Ra action figure and loved My Little Pony and Rainbow Brite. Oh, those were the days with sugary breakfast cereals and actually good Saturday morning cartoons instead of the epileptic stuff they show now. No wonder kids have ADHD, it can't be good for the developing brain to be bombarded with so many images.


Ha! I forgot about She-Ra...good times. 

Do you remember He-Man? And the Hercules cartoon? The Smurfs? Or am I really dating myself here....


----------



## Endless Rainbows

Lizabeth said:


> Ha! I forgot about She-Ra...good times.
> 
> Do you remember He-Man? And the Hercules cartoon? The Smurfs? Or am I really dating myself here....


Well, I'm very happy to round out the group then! Yay! ^5!

Yes, I remember He-Man! "By the power of Gray Skull, I am He-Man!!" And the Smurfs!! They were still showing re-runs in the 80's. 

I don't remember the Hercules cartoon as I'm guessing it's a different one from the Disney one that came out in the late 90's. 

Ah, now I'm feeling all nostalgic for the 80's with awesome animatronics, big hair, shiny make-up and the movie, "Short Circuit" and "Johnny Five is alive!!"


----------



## Lizabeth

Endless Rainbows said:


> Well, I'm very happy to round out the group then! Yay! ^5!
> 
> Yes, I remember He-Man! "By the power of Gray Skull, I am He-Man!!" And the Smurfs!! They were still showing re-runs in the 80's.
> 
> I don't remember the Hercules cartoon as I'm guessing it's a different one from the Disney one that came out in the late 90's.
> 
> Ah, now I'm feeling all nostalgic for the 80's with awesome animatronics, big hair, shiny make-up and the movie, "Short Circuit" and "Johnny Five is alive!!"


I don't remember Short Circuit or Johnny Five is Alive. What were they about?


----------



## Endless Rainbows

Lizabeth said:


> I don't remember Short Circuit or Johnny Five is Alive. What were they about?


Short Circuit was about this robot that gains intelligence from a lightning strike. Very lovable character and he's the one that actually says "Johnny Five . . . Is . . . Alive!!" I should have clarified that, whoopsies.

Short Circuit (1986) - IMDb


----------



## sittapygmaea

Sorry this reply is late @FePa... I went away for a few days and this thread totally exploded!

I did 23&me before november, so i got all the health data for what its worth. Some of it was interesting; some sobering; mostly irrelevant or unintelligible. I did find out that I was a carrier for one serious genetic disease. 

23&me also "notifies" you they find other genetic matches in their system, as well as informing you of their likely relation (e.g., probable 4th cousin, brother, etc.). It is optional whether and what information you let those matches see about you. My brother did it separately, so we had to compare results directly (there is a setting for "sharing" your results with certain people and also "comparing" with the people with whom you've shared, though it is rather rough). 



FePa said:


> Did you do the test prior to november ?
> I could see that you got the raw uninterpreted genetic analysis
> Did you have someone checking it ?
> This is not a paternity-sibbling kit, did they compare your sample to your brothers or both were analyzed separated ?


----------



## sittapygmaea

Ah, man! I missed all this good conversation. Your ruminations on aging... the new enfj... he-man and skeletor... i want to get in there, but I feel like the quote at 1:27


----------



## Endless Rainbows

sittapygmaea said:


> Ah, man! I missed all this good conversation. Your ruminations on aging... the new enfj... he-man and skeletor... i want to get in there, but I feel like the quote at 1:27


Hi sittapygmaea! I'm so excited that you have taken a 23andme test as I have been seriously considering getting it myself as well to find out if some supposed family history is true. Comparing the four ancestry tests, 23andme seems to have the best description but I'm a little leery that they keep my DNA sample for as long as they want . . .


----------



## sittapygmaea

Mr.Venture said:


> *hand on your thigh* *sudden vulnerability* I've always struggled more with those intangible markers. My body aging has bothered me less over the years, but the other markers of "a hard won life" seem to mean more to me. It's been difficult to let them go in the way I believe you are ultimately sensible for doing.
> 
> Even so, each one still has the emotional weight of "success" or "failure" attached to it.
> 
> *flash of grief, but not passing so quickly he didn't notice it* *leans back again*


If I can dig back into yesterday's comments...

It's funny, regarding aging, there seems a cultural imperative to focus on the negative. Either what has been lost (pert boobies, monochromatic hair) or what has not yet been gained (kids and whatnot), and whose absence is supposed to signal failure. Somehow the various things one has accomplished are not sufficient to offset the things one hasn't. 

In my own case, I have all those 'personal' milestones I had wanted but career-wise, not at all. And that does make me feel like a failure. Especially because I came to realize how ill suited I was for the ambitions I had set for myself. Partially because of this, as I age I have no impulse to carve out a new "grand plan" professionally. I don't want disappointment like that again. I think I have to aim lower, but where's the fun in that?  

And I was in school till I was 31 'the first time,' so I'm not overeager to return for some second round, even though I actually loved being a student. The class-taking part, not the dissertation-writing part. I would love to be in college forever. 

What made you go back to school @FePa? Are you changing careers? Or adding credentials to your current one? What about you @Mr.Venture? Two students in the mix here!


----------



## FePa

sittapygmaea said:


> Sorry this reply is late @FePa... I went away for a few days and this thread totally exploded!
> 
> I did 23&me before november, so i got all the health data for what its worth. Some of it was interesting; some sobering; mostly irrelevant or unintelligible. I did find out that I was a carrier for one serious genetic disease.
> 
> 23&me also "notifies" you they find other genetic matches in their system, as well as informing you of their likely relation (e.g., probable 4th cousin, brother, etc.). It is optional whether and what information you let those matches see about you. My brother did it separately, so we had to compare results directly (there is a setting for "sharing" your results with certain people and also "comparing" with the people with whom you've shared, though it is rather rough).


Please don't take that too serious.
We're much more than just a DNA blueprint. 
Besides, I don't really believe they would send raw data material like this, careless, without counseling. 
Regarding the comparison with other people, I would so much like to see which markers they use.
The "discover your neanderthal percentage" made me laugh so much! 
What's yours? 

I already did my own DNA so many times, as template control for so many projects, I must have little tubes of me everywhere

I don't mind a bit


----------



## sittapygmaea

Endless Rainbows said:


> Hi sittapygmaea! I'm so excited that you have taken a 23andme test as I have been seriously considering getting it myself as well to find out if some supposed family history is true. Comparing the four ancestry tests, 23andme seems to have the best description but I'm a little leery that they keep my DNA sample for as long as they want . . .


Hi @Endless Rainbows! It's cool to finally have a "J" around here, as you can see from the buzz you created. It only took 67 thread pages to lure you in! But we knew if we persisted, you would find us :wink:

And another cali-girl who will be in my time zone! (I'm in the bay area.) 

I think 23&me is supposed to be a good site. My husband started co-teaching a new course on "origins" last year with a biologist (he's an astrophysicist, so he does the big bang/galaxy and star formation/planets part while the other guy focuses on geology and evolutionary biology.) As part of the course, both professors and all the TAs got a profile done to compare geneology results (including percentage neanderthal dna) and shared that info with the class to make the data more personal (its a big intro course). All the bio profs thought 23&me was the best kit to use.


----------



## Endless Rainbows

@sittapygmaea, Haha, so funny! As a "J" I'll start planning our next meeting, guys.  First order of business . . .

I'm impressed with the level of depth and kindness in so many of these posts. You guys are all great people but of course, Gen X NF'ers would be good people, I had no doubt!

Thanks for the background info. What a great class. Wished I could have taken it. I'm currently going back to school to re-take some prereq's so I can apply for a Masters as a Physician's Assistant. It's disconcerting sitting with people who are barely out of high school for some classes but such is the route I took as I had way too much fun in my 20's. It is all good, things happen for a reason and I have a clear path now for what I want to do with my life.

@FePa, yes, it's my paranoia but really, if it will forward science, I am more than happy to let them keep my sample indefinitely.


----------



## sittapygmaea

I am 3% Neanderthal! Apparently quite high, relative to the population at large.



FePa said:


> Besides, I don't really believe they would send raw data material like this, careless, without counseling.
> Regarding the comparison with other people, I would so much like to see which markers they use.
> The "discover your neanderthal percentage" made me laugh so much!
> What's yours?
> 
> I already did my own DNA so many times, as template control for so many projects, I must have little tubes of me everywhere
> 
> I don't mind a bit


----------



## FePa

I wish I had taken this class !
I'm a suck up for evolutionary biology even though, right now, I'll focus in other area to change career


----------



## Lizabeth

Endless Rainbows said:


> Short Circuit was about this robot that gains intelligence from a lightning strike. Very lovable character and he's the one that actually says "Johnny Five . . . Is . . . Alive!!" I should have clarified that, whoopsies.
> 
> Short Circuit (1986) - IMDb


Ah! I never heard of that one. Thanks for increasing my pop culture knowledge! :wink: 

You're a good one to have around here. Hey @FePa, do you think we can keep her? :tongue:


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> Ah, man! I missed all this good conversation. Your ruminations on aging... the new enfj... he-man and skeletor... i want to get in there, but I feel like the quote at 1:27


lol Sitta -- go ahead, jump on in there. I for one don't mind and I assume others won't mind either.


----------



## FePa

I love you guys so much
♡


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> I love you guys so much
> ♡


The feeling's mutual!


----------



## Mr.Venture

FePa said:


> I love you guys so much
> ♡


I'm pretty sure we all love you too. *smiles*

@sittapygmaea, I returned to school to update my credentials as a therapist. The program is geared toward adult students, so plenty of classmates are older than I am. There's one who even left a lucrative profession as an MD to make the career switch. The only thing that gives me pause is the obvious gender imbalance. The ratio of women to men generally hovers around the 75/25% rate. "Yeah yeah, poor Venture, he's stuck with all those women."  Well almost every single one is already hitched with kids. Class is not a great place to pick up dates.

*grins* Must be the subject matter.

As for 23&me, I've never done it, but both my parents did. It was especially interesting to get my father's results since he was adopted. I don't remember anything standing out in particular though. It's also been ages since he got it done, so the science has likely changed in the meantime.


----------



## FePa

Mr.Venture said:


> I'm pretty sure we all love you too. *smiles*
> 
> @sittapygmaea, I returned to school to update my credentials as a therapist. The program is geared toward adult students, so plenty of classmates are older than I am. There's one who even left a lucrative profession as an MD to make the career switch. The only thing that gives me pause is the obvious gender imbalance. The ratio of women to men generally hovers around the 75/25% rate. "Yeah yeah, poor Venture, he's stuck with all those women."  Well almost every single one is already hitched with kids. Class is not a great place to pick up dates.
> 
> *grins* Must be the subject matter.
> 
> As for 23&me, I've never done it, but both my parents did. It was especially interesting to get my father's results since he was adopted. I don't remember anything standing out in particular though. It's also been ages since he got it done, so the science has likely changed in the meantime.


"Pretty sure" ?
:/


----------



## sittapygmaea

Ha! Venture just doesn't want to speak for everyone, but I will: we _all_ love you :wink:



FePa said:


> "Pretty sure" ?
> :/


----------



## FePa

sittapygmaea said:


> Ha! Venture just doesn't want to speak for everyone, but I will: we _all_ love you :wink:


:blushed:


----------



## Mr.Venture

FePa said:


> "Pretty sure" ?
> :/


*invites you to look directly at his eyes* Any time you doubt my affections for you Fepa, ask me, and you will doubt no longer. *kisses hand*


----------



## sittapygmaea

I agree with Venture that the womenfolk get the short end of the aging stick. Very few (physical) attributes of age are generally regarded as attractive in women; not so with men. How many times has one of those ridiculous "sexiest man alive" magazine covers featured a man over 40? A LOT. A woman? I’m sure it has happened once or twice, announced with a self-congratulatory subtitle like: Look: We’re the only mainstream publication who picked a 40 year old for this honor. Don’t worry! After this token, we’ll feel OK about ourselves going back to the under 30 set! 

Having said that, I have never in my life had more physical attention (especially the checkout and the unsubtle look-up-and-down) than the last few years. What's up with that? Maybe there has been a shift vis-a-vis women. But I suspect it has more to do with a more confident veneer or something else I can't quite put my finger on. Ironically, I find this makes me more, rather than less aware of my age. I'm not quite sure why.


----------



## FePa

Mr.Venture said:


> *invites you to look directly at his eyes* Any time you doubt my affections for you Fepa, ask me, and you will doubt no longer. *kisses hand*


*leans on your shoulder, snuzze your neck*
How much do you like me, Mr.Venture?


----------



## FePa

sittapygmaea said:


> I agree with Venture that the womenfolk get the short end of the aging stick. Very few (physical) attributes of age are generally regarded as attractive in women; not so with men. How many times has one of those ridiculous "sexiest man alive" magazine covers featured a man over 40? A LOT. A woman? I’m sure it has happened once or twice, announced with a self-congratulatory subtitle like: Look: We’re the only mainstream publication who picked a 40 year old for this honor. Don’t worry! After this token, we’ll feel OK about ourselves going back to the under 30 set!
> 
> Having said that, I have never in my life had more physical attention (especially the checkout and the unsubtle look-up-and-down) than the last few years. What's up with that? Maybe there has been a shift vis-a-vis women. But I suspect it has more to do with a more confident veneer or something else I can't quite put my finger on. Ironically, I find this makes me more, rather than less aware of my age. I'm not quite sure why.


I agree with you, Sitta
This is happening to me too, guess there's a lot to do with self confidence.


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> I agree with Venture that the womenfolk get the short end of the aging stick. Very few (physical) attributes of age are generally regarded as attractive in women; not so with men. How many times has one of those ridiculous "sexiest man alive" magazine covers featured a man over 40? A LOT. A woman? I’m sure it has happened once or twice, announced with a self-congratulatory subtitle like: Look: We’re the only mainstream publication who picked a 40 year old for this honor. Don’t worry! After this token, we’ll feel OK about ourselves going back to the under 30 set!
> 
> Having said that, I have never in my life had more physical attention (especially the checkout and the unsubtle look-up-and-down) than the last few years. What's up with that? Maybe there has been a shift vis-a-vis women. But I suspect it has more to do with a more confident veneer or something else I can't quite put my finger on. Ironically, I find this makes me more, rather than less aware of my age. I'm not quite sure why.


Maybe it's both. 

You go girl! (I mean, woman!)


----------



## Mr.Venture

FePa said:


> *leans on your shoulder, snuzze your neck*
> How much do you like me, Mr.Venture?


*strokes the hair away from your face*

Ask not the salmon if the air is wet
Ask not the beaver if forest grows
Both are home in summer's glade
The sweetness all they know

Affection is a mighty stream
A woodwork built up high
Your afeared fearless attitudes
A glimmer in my eye

Rest easy salmon beaver pet
I'll touch that furry cheek
I'll kiss you in that summer stream
When next we both shall meet

*gives squeeze*


----------



## Mr.Venture

sittapygmaea said:


> I agree with Venture that the womenfolk get the short end of the aging stick. Very few (physical) attributes of age are generally regarded as attractive in women; not so with men. How many times has one of those ridiculous "sexiest man alive" magazine covers featured a man over 40? A LOT. A woman? I’m sure it has happened once or twice, announced with a self-congratulatory subtitle like: Look: We’re the only mainstream publication who picked a 40 year old for this honor. Don’t worry! After this token, we’ll feel OK about ourselves going back to the under 30 set!
> 
> Having said that, I have never in my life had more physical attention (especially the checkout and the unsubtle look-up-and-down) than the last few years. What's up with that? Maybe there has been a shift vis-a-vis women. But I suspect it has more to do with a more confident veneer or something else I can't quite put my finger on. Ironically, I find this makes me more, rather than less aware of my age. I'm not quite sure why.


I too have gotten way more attention of late than in my twenties, but there are so many possible confabulating reasons. I work out these days. I have a job that pays well. I dress better because I make more money. I've spent a lot of time getting to know myself better - so I have a more relaxed confidence as a result. I'm still tempted to say men generally come into their charm as they age, but clearly there are a lot of factors that play into that!

However, on that last, confidence makes just about _anyone_ more attractive. That's honestly why I find young women not much of a draw. I find it difficult to consider a relationship with a woman in her early twenties because I just can't believe they know enough about themselves yet. Where they see confidence, I too often see the "act" of confidence. Not a problem, per se. Growing into our true selves just takes a certain amount of time and experience, and there's nothing wrong with being on the journey. I just don't view them as legitimate romantic prospects. Let them do their "exploration" with someone else. I've got other things I want to explore these days. *relaxed smile*


----------



## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> *strokes the hair away from your face*
> 
> Ask not the salmon if the air is wet
> Ask not the beaver if forest grows
> Both are home in summer's glade
> The sweetness all they know
> 
> Affection is a mighty stream
> A woodwork built up high
> Your afeared fearless attitudes
> A glimmer in my eye
> 
> Rest easy salmon beaver pet
> I'll touch that furry cheek
> I'll kiss you in that summer stream
> When next we both shall meet
> 
> *gives squeeze*


Whoa! did you write this? Or am I just really ignorant of poetry? (All my English teachers hated poetry and tended to skip over that part of the curriculum, so excuse my ignorance). 

But if you wrote this...whoa!


----------



## Mr.Venture

Lizabeth said:


> Whoa! did you write this? Or am I just really ignorant of poetry? (All my English teachers hated poetry and tended to skip over that part of the curriculum, so excuse my ignorance).
> 
> But if you wrote this...whoa!


Lolz

I don't write straight poetry too often, but it's an original. Writing is a performance art for me. I enjoy channeling the feeling of a moment through analogy and illustration.


----------



## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> Lolz
> 
> I don't write straight poetry too often, but it's an original. Writing is a performance art for me. I enjoy channeling the feeling of a moment through analogy and illustration.


Okay, this perfect man thing of years is getting to be too much! You're going to ruin us women for every other man out there, and you're going to intimidate very other man in the vacinity. 

*tries not to swoon*


----------



## sittapygmaea

Lizabeth said:


> I can identify with a lot of those traits that are ascribed to Fe too, though. But as I was discussing in another thread, that might be in part because a lot of my Fi content is probably internalized Fe. In other words, a lot of my Fi values might have been influenced by my high Fe parents. I actually suspect that there's a lot more overlap in Fi and Fe than a lot of the theorists are willing to admit.
> @sittapygmaea, according to my handy dandy cognitive functions by type chart, INFPs are Fi like us ENFPs. We've got Ne-Fi-Te-Si and you've got Fi-Ne-Si-Te. We're just like you, except all mixed up :tongue:


Thanks @Lizabeth; it's nice to see a less rigid take on Fe/Fi and the MBTI in general. The thing that chafes me the most about the system is the assumption that certain packages of cognitive function preferences must bring others in their wake, in a specific order. 

I'm not 100% sure I'm an INFP (within the typology), but it seems likely. Personally, I have fairly developed "T” functions although INFPs are supposed to be the most airy fairy. I have a quite strong Ti which INFPs are not "supposed" to have (it’s supposed to be the “weakest” function). My degrees are all in philosophy and Ti is pretty much what (contemporary Anglo-American) philosophers do: analyze, compare, and plumb ideas and theoretical systems. The only specific class that you are always required to take for a phil. degree is logic. 

I also have pretty underdeveloped S functions, both Si and Se, although INFPs are supposed to have relatively developed Si. I do have a relatively strong memory for affect/emotion but not as reliably for other sensory details. 

I haven't done research into the development of the theory, but it strikes me as putting things too neatly into certain categorical boxes for aesthetic rather than empirical or deductive reasons, although I am highly sympathetic to the idea of people experiencing the world in different ways based on their unique cognitive architecture, and I think it can be a useful heuristic for conceptualizing differences in cognitive attitudes.


----------



## sittapygmaea

It is interesting to compare the common ground of the NFs. Genuine concern and caring for others seems to be a common trait. Our vibe is kinder, more accepting, and less "prickly" than the population at large. Or perhaps that is an "F" trait. 

There still seems to me to be more of an awareness of others-in-general and the group ethos and group identity amongst the ENFxs. INFxs seem a bit more self absorbed and less capable of tracking the bigger social picture. I wonder if that is why we also tend to be a little more 'confessional.' Confessing something personal is a good way to create an interpersonal connection between oneself and a specific other. By putting something out there that may be off-putting, you also 'test' other people's compatibility for yet deeper, more bonding conversation of the sort that gives INFxs a buzz. But doing this can also make others uncomfortable, which is something ENFxs are perhaps more likely to avoid? I'm guessing here. You ENFx's seem very accepting and non-judgmental of others, but less likely than INFxs to put yourself in a position where you will be on the receiving end of judgement and acceptance (or rejection). Friendly and charming, but not disclosive. Cards close to the vest. That's just a first-pass observation.

Earlier I went for my quick hike but was out into the dark because I got lured into a facetime with my 3 year old niece on the way out. She loves to have people read books to her, and facetime works pretty well for that. Do you guys know the book "the day the crayons quit?" Probably not, unless you're interacting with the 3-7 set. A boy's crayon's go on strike and they all send him letters detailing their various grievances (used too much; not used enough; etc.). Yellow and Orange crayons aren't speaking to each other because they each believe they are "the real color of the sun" while the other is just trying to horn in. Well my niece called to have me read her that book. Today at preschool she painted a picture of the sun, and used both orange and yellow "so the yellow and orange crayons could both be happy." What a little budding xNFx:kitteh:


----------



## FePa

chanteuse said:


> Add me to the list of Gen X NFs; an old fart compare to all the baby Millennials here in PerC.


*faints at the emotion *
Yeah
One more INFJ
*Happy dance*


----------



## FePa

sittapygmaea said:


> @Lizabeth I just happened upon your new already massive ENFP-INTJ flirt thread. You're unstoppable! Are all you ENFP's such incorrigible flirts, or do the ones hanging around here just happen to be at the apex of flirty ENFPdom? (I'm looking at you too @FePa and @Mr.Venture):tongue:


Yes



Hihihihi
I told ya, old people's self confidence is gold !!!

Ok, fair enough, I've always been more or less like this... in virtual world

In real life I'm not *that* slutty easy hunter kind
:blushed:
I mean, I'm pretty much straight forward in what I want even if my actions are a tad more subtle, given the stimuli I do become a fireball, wherever I am (I'm not the type lady in the streets, tiger on the sheets. .. I'm more of sleeping/awake dragon)...

But I have a hot (soft, moist, pulsing) spot for INTJs...

My brain! 

*looks surprised*
What were you thinking? !


----------



## FePa

Endless Rainbows said:


> ENFJ's are definitely people's people. We are accused of being manipulative by the less trusting types out there to get the things we want but the core self of an ENFJ is harmless and we really do want the best for people. Our type is supposed to make great teachers and mentors (i.e., Oprah).
> 
> I found it uncanny that you mentioned you are a social butterfly and flit about making everyone comfortable and included as to not leave anyone out as that is the role I play a lot in my social groups too. I want everyone to feel comfortable and welcomed. I know how much social rejection can hurt. ENFJ's are very sensitive to criticism although we may appear like we're always happy. We care too much about what people think of us and try to portray a put together front to the world. I'm not sure if we're always flirtatious but with our strong Fe we are very aware of the energy of a group and like to keep things lively and happy.
> 
> Side note:
> 
> I just want to say that NF's are awesome.
> I was wondering on the disdain toward ESTP's (sorry to my ESTP brothers and sisters out there!) but it seems like their values are loose to say the least and can be found sleeping with multiple people at a time because it feels good. An NF would probably have problems doing that as we cherish our idealistic core values so much.


I am like this too.
Go around the group introducing people to each other, making sure those in the corner receive some attention. 
But let me confess, I don't think I do it with the clear purpose of making them feel better per se. I mean, I do want them to feel better, but I don't think I'm moved by an altruistic force only.
It's more of a way that I feel better!
*selfish? Perhaps...*

It's a bit like playing The Sims

Most of the times, I make the rest of the group all friendly with each other, relaxed, happy, then I sit back and watch. 
Or find one favorite (after testing all of them a little bit) and engage in a three hours conversation, so focused I forget to go to the toilet! 

This sometimes has caused me problems, because when I make new mix of people and they dislike each other after a while, I lose them all, because they think I'm friends with both and get jealous, or whatever. 
But I stopped caring for that at older age (this used to crush me in my teens) because I just go out and make new ones, if the "old" ones are bothered for that, too bad, they lose my appreciation. 

I see some of them, years later, trying their way back in, or if we bump into each other in life, I'm as happy and attentive as the first time, if they want to come back to my circle, very well!
But I'm not making any extra effort.


----------



## FePa

sittapygmaea said:


> It is interesting to compare the common ground of the NFs. Genuine concern and caring for others seems to be a common trait. Our vibe is kinder, more accepting, and less "prickly" than the population at large. Or perhaps that is an "F" trait.
> 
> There still seems to me to be more of an awareness of others-in-general and the group ethos and group identity amongst the ENFxs. INFxs seem a bit more self absorbed and less capable of tracking the bigger social picture. I wonder if that is why we also tend to be a little more 'confessional.' Confessing something personal is a good way to create an interpersonal connection between oneself and a specific other. By putting something out there that may be off-putting, you also 'test' other people's compatibility for yet deeper, more bonding conversation of the sort that gives INFxs a buzz. But doing this can also make others uncomfortable, which is something ENFxs are perhaps more likely to avoid? I'm guessing here. You ENFx's seem very accepting and non-judgmental of others, but less likely than INFxs to put yourself in a position where you will be on the receiving end of judgement and acceptance (or rejection). Friendly and charming, but not disclosive. Cards close to the vest. That's just a first-pass observation.
> 
> Earlier I went for my quick hike but was out into the dark because I got lured into a facetime with my 3 year old niece on the way out. She loves to have people read books to her, and facetime works pretty well for that. Do you guys know the book "the day the crayons quit?" Probably not, unless you're interacting with the 3-7 set. A boy's crayon's go on strike and they all send him letters detailing their various grievances (used too much; not used enough; etc.). Yellow and Orange crayons aren't speaking to each other because they each believe they are "the real color of the sun" while the other is just trying to horn in. Well my niece called to have me read her that book. Today at preschool she painted a picture of the sun, and used both orange and yellow "so the yellow and orange crayons could both be happy." What a little budding xNFx:kitteh:



I'm very confessional, in private and when I'm very interested in the person. 
Open up my gooye so I can get to theirs. 
But I have endless layers and infinite ways to open them in different conjunction.
So each and everyone I interact with, see a different image of myself, still all based in the truth, only rearranged accordingly to my audience. 
But if I'm questioned directly, a yes or no question, I open all gates and mirrors and say the naked truth, blunt and cold and careless, unafraid of judgment, because those values are guarded so well, that I might tell them, only you are unfortunately not going to survive if you don't respect them
Hihihihi


----------



## sittapygmaea

Thank god @FePa came around before I went to bed and gave me all this good material to read. You're a fascinating creature, love (a high compliment in my idiolect!)


----------



## sittapygmaea

OK; that settles it. I'm keeping you ENFP flirts away from my INFJ. He wouldn't know what hit 'im. :tongue:



FePa said:


> Yes
> 
> 
> 
> Hihihihi
> I told ya, old people's self confidence is gold !!!
> 
> Ok, fair enough, I've always been more or less like this... in virtual world
> 
> In real life I'm not *that* slutty easy hunter kind
> :blushed:
> I mean, I'm pretty much straight forward in what I want even if my actions are a tad more subtle, given the stimuli I do become a fireball, wherever I am (I'm not the type lady in the streets, tiger on the sheets. .. I'm more of sleeping/awake dragon)...
> 
> But I have a hot (soft, moist, pulsing) spot for INTJs...
> 
> My brain!
> 
> *looks surprised*
> What were you thinking? !


----------



## FePa

sittapygmaea said:


> Thank god @FePa came around before I went to bed and gave me all this good material to read. You're a fascinating creature, love (a high compliment in my idiolect!)


I love to read you too

you are one of the great ones !!
♥


----------



## FePa

sittapygmaea said:


> OK; that settles it. I'm keeping you ENFP flirts away from my INFJ. He wouldn't know what hit 'im. :tongue:


Not to worry, my darling
A sister NF would never betray her kindred spirit
:-*


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> Thanks @Lizabeth; it's nice to see a less rigid take on Fe/Fi and the MBTI in general. The thing that chafes me the most about the system is the assumption that certain packages of cognitive function preferences must bring others in their wake, in a specific order.
> 
> I'm not 100% sure I'm an INFP (within the typology), but it seems likely. Personally, I have fairly developed "T” functions although INFPs are supposed to be the most airy fairy. I have a quite strong Ti which INFPs are not "supposed" to have (it’s supposed to be the “weakest” function). My degrees are all in philosophy and Ti is pretty much what (contemporary Anglo-American) philosophers do: analyze, compare, and plumb ideas and theoretical systems. The only specific class that you are always required to take for a phil. degree is logic.
> 
> I also have pretty underdeveloped S functions, both Si and Se, although INFPs are supposed to have relatively developed Si. I do have a relatively strong memory for affect/emotion but not as reliably for other sensory details.
> 
> I haven't done research into the development of the theory, but it strikes me as putting things too neatly into certain categorical boxes for aesthetic rather than empirical or deductive reasons, although I am highly sympathetic to the idea of people experiencing the world in different ways based on their unique cognitive architecture, and I think it can be a useful heuristic for conceptualizing differences in cognitive attitudes.


*smiles with adrmiration*
It's too early in the morning for me to compose an intelligent response, but I just wanted to say that I love how the conversations around here can swing from fluffy and frivilous to deep and intellectual. 

And I agree with you, Sitta dear!


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> It is interesting to compare the common ground of the NFs. Genuine concern and caring for others seems to be a common trait. Our vibe is kinder, more accepting, and less "prickly" than the population at large. Or perhaps that is an "F" trait.
> 
> There still seems to me to be more of an awareness of others-in-general and the group ethos and group identity amongst the ENFxs. INFxs seem a bit more self absorbed and less capable of tracking the bigger social picture. I wonder if that is why we also tend to be a little more 'confessional.' Confessing something personal is a good way to create an interpersonal connection between oneself and a specific other. By putting something out there that may be off-putting, you also 'test' other people's compatibility for yet deeper, more bonding conversation of the sort that gives INFxs a buzz. But doing this can also make others uncomfortable, which is something ENFxs are perhaps more likely to avoid? I'm guessing here. You ENFx's seem very accepting and non-judgmental of others, but less likely than INFxs to put yourself in a position where you will be on the receiving end of judgement and acceptance (or rejection). Friendly and charming, but not disclosive. Cards close to the vest. That's just a first-pass observation.
> 
> Earlier I went for my quick hike but was out into the dark because I got lured into a facetime with my 3 year old niece on the way out. She loves to have people read books to her, and facetime works pretty well for that. Do you guys know the book "the day the crayons quit?" Probably not, unless you're interacting with the 3-7 set. A boy's crayon's go on strike and they all send him letters detailing their various grievances (used too much; not used enough; etc.). Yellow and Orange crayons aren't speaking to each other because they each believe they are "the real color of the sun" while the other is just trying to horn in. Well my niece called to have me read her that book. Today at preschool she painted a picture of the sun, and used both orange and yellow "so the yellow and orange crayons could both be happy." What a little budding xNFx:kitteh:


This is such a smart analysis...your T is definitely more developed than the theory gives iNFPs credit for :wink:

For me, it's not so much that I don't self disclose, I'm just very selective about what, how, and with whom and when I do it. And my self disclosures often come out in little tidbits -- now that I think of it, maybe it's kind of like bait. I want to see who will bite, and how they will bite (don't make this dirty, Feeps and Venture!) before I offere anything more. There are a lot of people who assume that I'm an open book and that they know me, because I'm a fairly open person on the surface. That's not a facade -- I'm not just faking at openness. But the openness most people get to see is just level one. How they respond to level one is what largely determines whether or not they ever get to level two or beyond. 

I suspect it's similarfor for you INFx's, though, except that instead of tidbits you may lay out more substantial morsels, and those morsels might come at level two or beyond. At level 1 there might not be any food at all? (Sorry, I might be getting carried away with that analogy).


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> Earlier I went for my quick hike but was out into the dark because I got lured into a facetime with my 3 year old niece on the way out. She loves to have people read books to her, and facetime works pretty well for that. Do you guys know the book "the day the crayons quit?" Probably not, unless you're interacting with the 3-7 set. A boy's crayon's go on strike and they all send him letters detailing their various grievances (used too much; not used enough; etc.). Yellow and Orange crayons aren't speaking to each other because they each believe they are "the real color of the sun" while the other is just trying to horn in. Well my niece called to have me read her that book. Today at preschool she painted a picture of the sun, and used both orange and yellow "so the yellow and orange crayons could both be happy." What a little budding xNFx:kitteh:


Oh, I love that story about your niece, by the way! I adore intuitive kids. They hold so much wisdom at such a young age. Hopefully she doesn't lose track of it along the way like I did with mine. I had to find my way back to my wise and confident 4-year old self after I let her get buried under a whole lot of angst and other people's expectations along the way through adolescence and early adulthood.


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> Yes
> 
> 
> 
> Hihihihi
> I told ya, old people's self confidence is gold !!!
> 
> Ok, fair enough, I've always been more or less like this... in virtual world
> 
> In real life I'm not *that* slutty easy hunter kind
> :blushed:
> I mean, I'm pretty much straight forward in what I want even if my actions are a tad more subtle, given the stimuli I do become a fireball, wherever I am (I'm not the type lady in the streets, tiger on the sheets. .. I'm more of sleeping/awake dragon)...
> *
> But I have a hot (soft, moist, pulsing) spot for INTJs...*
> 
> My brain!
> 
> *looks surprised*
> What were you thinking? !


:shocked:
Ohhhhhhh!
:laughing:


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> I am like this too.
> Go around the group introducing people to each other, making sure those in the corner receive some attention.
> But let me confess, I don't think I do it with the clear purpose of making them feel better per se. I mean, I do want them to feel better, but I don't think I'm moved by an altruistic force only.
> It's more of a way that I feel better!
> *selfish? Perhaps...*
> 
> It's a bit like playing The Sims
> 
> Most of the times, I make the rest of the group all friendly with each other, relaxed, happy, then I sit back and watch.
> Or find one favorite (after testing all of them a little bit) and engage in a three hours conversation, so focused I forget to go to the toilet!
> 
> This sometimes has caused me problems, because when I make new mix of people and they dislike each other after a while, I lose them all, because they think I'm friends with both and get jealous, or whatever.
> But I stopped caring for that at older age (this used to crush me in my teens) because I just go out and make new ones, if the "old" ones are bothered for that, too bad, they lose my appreciation.
> 
> I see some of them, years later, trying their way back in, or if we bump into each other in life, I'm as happy and attentive as the first time, if they want to come back to my circle, very well!
> But I'm not making any extra effort.


Oh Feeps, you are too adorable. Sims! lol

I'm the same way with the diverse friends group thing. I've often been friends or friendly with people who cannot stand each other, period! And I don't really notice it sometimes until something brings the issue to the forefront. Like if I decide I want to host a dinner party and start preparing a guest list...and then realize that I can't invite certain people at the same time because they don't get along. The starkest example was that one day in high school I was walking between classes with these two other girls, one on each side of me. Neither of them was a close friend, more just friendly acquaintances. But I'm chattering away to them, making a comment to the one on my right, then a comment to the one on my left, when it suddenly dawns on me that the conversation is disjointed because neither of them is talking to the other. And then I remember that these girls basically hated each other and weren't talking to each other. That then made the rest of the "conversation" kind of awkward, because now I was aware that I was literally in the middle!

But I think it's because I take pretty much everyone with "a grain of salt" (I can see the positive sides even with people who are pretty obnoxious) and I like to make others feel comfortable (so I often overlook small petty comments that might otherwise really piss me off if I took them seriously) that I'm able to get along with and make friends with people that some of my other friends can't. But if there's someone that I can't get along with, then after a couple of attempts I've learned not to waste my time.


----------



## sittapygmaea

Lizabeth said:


> *smiles with adrmiration*
> It's too early in the morning for me to compose an intelligent response, but I just wanted to say that I love how the conversations around here can swing from fluffy and frivilous to deep and intellectual.
> 
> And I agree with you, Sitta dear!


I'm on the other end of this sticky wicket. I know I'm in trouble when my night starts to coincide with your mornings @Lizabeth. We're in different time zones, not on different continents! :shocked: 

This is my cue to go to bed.


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> I'm on the other end of this sticky wicket. I know I'm in trouble when my night starts to coincide with your mornings @Lizabeth. We're in different time zones, not on different continents! :shocked:
> 
> This is my cue to go to bed.


lol Sitta! What time is it where you are?


----------



## sittapygmaea

Oh my !!! Look at you tossing crumbs my way, waiting to see if and how I bite! You saucy tease! (Since @Mr.Venture has gone back to his mafia (harumph), I'm doing my best to fill the void.) 

And I shall, but in the morning.... must go to sleep now. You can do it, sitta. Just close the laptop and step away from PerC. No peeking, now!



Lizabeth said:


> Oh, I love that story about your niece, by the way! I adore intuitive kids. They hold so much wisdom at such a young age. Hopefully she doesn't lose track of it along the way like I did with mine. I had to find my way back to my wise and confident 4-year old self after I let her get buried under a whole lot of angst and other people's expectations along the way through adolescence and early adulthood.


----------



## sittapygmaea

4:15 am. This is my last post, I *swear* :wink:


Lizabeth said:


> lol Sitta! What time is it where you are?


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> Oh my !!! Look at you tossing crumbs my way, waiting to see if and how I bite! You saucy tease! (Since @Mr.Venture has gone back to his mafia (harumph), I'm doing my best to fill the void.)
> 
> And I shall, but in the morning.... must go to sleep now. You can do it, sitta. Just close the laptop and step away from PerC. No peeking, now!


:frustrating:

Busted! 

:laughing:


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> 4:15 am. This is my last post, I *swear* :wink:


:shocked:

And I thought my PerC addiction was bad! lol


----------



## FePa

When I'm lost at the implications and innuendos among my fellow Ne, I realize that my brain has fried ...

BBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I didn't get half of what you and Sitta were talking about

snif sniff sniff

is she also in Canada ??

It's 14:28 right here and 

I
WANT
TO
DIE

arght


----------



## FePa

Lizabeth said:


> *smiles with adrmiration*
> It's too early in the morning for me to compose an intelligent response, but I just wanted to say that I love how the conversations around here can swing from fluffy and frivilous to deep and intellectual.
> 
> And I agree with you, Sitta dear!


That's why sometimes I launch few "I love you-s" around
to express my admiration to you, boys and girls.

When I was younger, I had this image of 40 year olds as old bags, boring, "adult", settle... and I dreaded to arrive at that age !
Damn, my spirit is always so free and young, I DON'T want to HAVE to behave !!
arght
but closer and closer I get to this "terrible" age I see that, hell, this is not bad, it's not bad at all !
Ok, forget about the body transformation, who cares, but I don't see myself old in my mind but still, I thought I was ... er... different... retarded ... immature ... childish... but nooooooooooo
now I can see that it's part of our personality because I admire all of you soooooooooo much and I see my kindred spirits, young and wild and intelligent and awesome and sensitive and wow, just... wow

That makes me happy and... lonely...
because you are all so physically distant from me... how do I find people like this around here ?!
How to identify inside the boring looking I'm sleepy faces in the train for people with phoenix hearts ?

:-(


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> That's why sometimes I launch few "I love you-s" around
> to express my admiration to you, boys and girls.
> 
> When I was younger, I had this image of 40 year olds as old bags, boring, "adult", settle... and I dreaded to arrive at that age !
> Damn, my spirit is always so free and young, I DON'T want to HAVE to behave !!
> arght
> but closer and closer I get to this "terrible" age I see that, hell, this is not bad, it's not bad at all !
> Ok, forget about the body transformation, who cares, but I don't see myself old in my mind but still, I thought I was ... er... different... retarded ... immature ... childish... but nooooooooooo
> now I can see that it's part of our personality because I admire all of you soooooooooo much and I see my kindred spirits, young and wild and intelligent and awesome and sensitive and wow, just... wow
> 
> That makes me happy and... lonely...
> because you are all so physically distant from me... how do I find people like this around here ?!
> How to identify inside the boring looking I'm sleepy faces in the train for people with phoenix hearts ?
> 
> :-(


That is such a good question! I do know some fellow NFs in real life, several actually, but I can't connect to most of them in the same way or have these same levels of conversation with most of them as I can here with all of you. I have an ENFJ cousin that I'm really closed to, and we have really deep conversations that can last for hours whenever we talk, but we live in different cities and we don't talk that frequently these days. And I had an awesome ENFJ friend at work (I thought she was INFJ originally, but now that I understand more about the cognitive functions I'm pretty sure she is ENFJ), but of course she had to go and move to another city too! I have my INTJ friend who is great to talk to most of the time, we talk by phone several times a week. But yep, you guessed it -- he lives in another city. 

Such a cruel twist of fate that we are all spread so far apart *sigh*


----------



## FePa

Lizabeth said:


> That is such a good question! I do know some fellow NFs in real life, several actually, but I can't connect to most of them in the same way or have these same levels of conversation with most of them as I can here with all of you. I have an ENFJ cousin that I'm really closed to, and we have really deep conversations that can last for hours whenever we talk, but we live in different cities and we don't talk that frequently these days. And I had an awesome ENFJ friend at work (I thought she was INFJ originally, but now that I understand more about the cognitive functions I'm pretty sure she is ENFJ), but of course she had to go and move to another city too! I have my INTJ friend who is great to talk to most of the time, we talk by phone several times a week. But yep, you guessed it -- he lives in another city.
> 
> Such a cruel twist of fate that we are all spread so far apart *sigh*


I'm sure there must be others, it has to !
but I guess the point is how to discover them.
I don't know you, but I don't usually go around broadcasting my awesomeness so openly, therefore I imagine others aren't either...

:-/

I have a some wonderful real life N friends, but as you, life took to separate physical ways and sometimes, phone, facetime, messages, sms, skype, smoke signs are not enough, never enough...
sniff


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> I'm sure there must be others, it has to !
> but I guess the point is how to discover them.
> I don't know you, but I don't usually go around broadcasting my awesomeness so openly, therefore I imagine others aren't either...
> 
> :-/
> 
> I have a some wonderful real life N friends, but as you, life took to separate physical ways and sometimes, phone, facetime, messages, sms, skype, smoke signs are not enough, never enough...
> sniff


I hear ya, sweetie *comforting long distance hug*

Maybe we should invent a secret hand shake that we can learn to recognize each other by...each time we meet someone we identify as a kindred spirit, we teach them the handshake, so that they can teach it to the ones that they meet, and so on, and so on, and then eventually the handshake identification system will have spread throughout the entire world and we'll be able to recognize each other instantly. 

Of course, that only works if we shake hands with everybody we meet, even strangers on the bus....hmm....

*back to the drawing board* 

Oh! Maybe it can be a special badge!


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> When I'm lost at the implications and innuendos among my fellow Ne, I realize that my brain has fried ...
> 
> BBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
> 
> I didn't get half of what you and Sitta were talking about
> 
> snif sniff sniff
> 
> is she also in Canada ??
> 
> It's 14:28 right here and
> 
> I
> WANT
> TO
> DIE
> 
> arght


Wait, I missed this post -- why do you want to die? Don't die! 

And I don't know where Sitta lives -- for some reason I thought she was in Europe, but I'm guessing she's in the States?


----------



## Mr.Venture

*pops in*

Mafia has turned out to be both fun and stimulating. I make no apologies for finding it enjoyable. *impish grin*

It is however a huge time suck. I think I'll leave it be after this last game. I could use some time to re-engage with the other areas of my life again. That includes the gym, dancing, and contributing again in the more substantial threads.

Mafia is fun *bullet whizzes by his ear* *doesn't flich* but it is just a game when all is said and done. *grins*


----------



## Lizabeth

Mr.Venture said:


> *pops in*
> 
> Mafia has turned out to be both fun and stimulating. I make no apologies for finding it enjoyable. *impish grin*
> 
> It is however a huge time suck. I think I'll leave it be after this last game. I could use some time to re-engage with the other areas of my life again. That includes the gym, dancing, and contributing again in the more substantial threads.
> 
> Mafia is fun *bullet whizzes by his ear* *doesn't flich* but it is just a game when all is said and done. *grins*


Oh babe, no one's asking for apologies. Of course the place is so much brighter when you're around, but we've got plenty to occupy ourselves with while you're gone. Go have fun. And try not to get yourself killed this time!


----------



## sittapygmaea

I couldn't have said it better myself. 



Lizabeth said:


> Oh babe, no one's asking for apologies. Of course the place is so much brighter when you're around, but we've got plenty to occupy ourselves with while you're gone. Go have fun. And try not to get yourself killed this time!


----------



## sittapygmaea

@FePa I confess that I cannot always tell the difference between levity and candor online. Steering a middle course to "thread death" or "perC death"... who would we look up to if you weren't around? Who would so gracefully keep us entertaintained? Don't you dare abandon us, you sexy multi-lingual science goddess! (How many languages do you speak, btw?)

Re: location: I'm in San Francisco, and a degenerate night owl. I rarely go to sleep before 1, and I really try to keep it to 3, but... I just love that time of night. And PerC is so stimulating. Damn you hooligans for leading me down this wayward path...:tongue:




Lizabeth said:


> Wait, I missed this post -- why do you want to die? Don't die!
> 
> And I don't know where Sitta lives -- for some reason I thought she was in Europe, but I'm guessing she's in the States?


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> @FePa I confess that I cannot always tell the difference between levity and candor online. Steering a middle course to "thread death" or "perC death"... who would we look up to if you weren't around? Who would so gracefully keep us entertaintained? Don't you dare abandon us, you sexy multi-lingual science goddess! (How many languages do you speak, btw?)
> 
> Re: location: I'm in San Francisco, and a degenerate night owl. I rarely go to sleep before 1, and I really try to keep it to 3, but... I just love that time of night. And PerC is so stimulating. Damn you hooligans for leading me down this wayward path...:tongue:
> 
> 
> 
> I can


San Francisco is my favourite US city!!!


----------



## sittapygmaea

This ALWAYS happens (the good friends moving away). You'd think it wouldn't be so hard at all to maintain intimacy for someone who loves writing (and PerC, apparently), but it really is. I am just terrible at maintaining friendships long distance. 

There is a wonderful intimacy that goes along with watching someone's body language, touching them, seeing how they are wearing different kinds of shoes these days, and knowing and caring about the day-to-day minutia of each others' lives like the fact that they hate taking that bus when it rains, and go out of their way to shop at this particular vegetable stall, and always want to snack on something sweet in the afternoon. You just don't get these things over phone and skype. 

None of the details are significant in and of themselves, but when you take the whole passel of them away... something big is lost. A person transforms from a particular entity whose contours are cozy and familiar to an abstract one whose idiosyncracies are unknown and foreign. 




FePa said:


> I'm sure there must be others, it has to !
> but I guess the point is how to discover them.
> I don't know you, but I don't usually go around broadcasting my awesomeness so openly, therefore I imagine others aren't either...
> 
> :-/
> 
> I have a some wonderful real life N friends, but as you, life took to separate physical ways and sometimes, phone, facetime, messages, sms, skype, smoke signs are not enough, never enough...
> sniff


----------



## sittapygmaea

I think we need something like a dog whistle.... a transmitter we wear that puts out a signal only other NFs can hear. Wouldn't that be awesome?!

Random humorous digression: I read a few years ago about something called the mosquito (I think). Apparently we all lose the capacity to hear very high frequency tones as we age. Some inventor made use of this fact to create a device called the mosquito. It sends out a very loud, annoying beep (like smoke alarm constantly going off) only heard by ~23 and under set. This device was sold to convenience and liquor stores irritated with young hooligans hanging around and loitering in their parking lots. Naturally, the crafty teens had the last laugh. Apparently, mosquito tone has become a popular text notification sound so kinds in high school and college can keep connected during class without their teachers being any the wiser. 




Lizabeth said:


> I hear ya, sweetie *comforting long distance hug*
> 
> Maybe we should invent a secret hand shake that we can learn to recognize each other by...each time we meet someone we identify as a kindred spirit, we teach them the handshake, so that they can teach it to the ones that they meet, and so on, and so on, and then eventually the handshake identification system will have spread throughout the entire world and we'll be able to recognize each other instantly.
> 
> Of course, that only works if we shake hands with everybody we meet, even strangers on the bus....hmm....
> 
> *back to the drawing board*
> 
> Oh! Maybe it can be a special badge!


----------



## Endless Rainbows

FePa said:


> That's why sometimes I launch few "I love you-s" around
> to express my admiration to you, boys and girls.
> 
> When I was younger, I had this image of 40 year olds as old bags, boring, "adult", settle... and I dreaded to arrive at that age !
> Damn, my spirit is always so free and young, I DON'T want to HAVE to behave !!
> arght
> but closer and closer I get to this "terrible" age I see that, hell, this is not bad, it's not bad at all !
> Ok, forget about the body transformation, who cares, but I don't see myself old in my mind but still, I thought I was ... er... different... retarded ... immature ... childish... but nooooooooooo
> now I can see that it's part of our personality because I admire all of you soooooooooo much and I see my kindred spirits, young and wild and intelligent and awesome and sensitive and wow, just... wow
> 
> That makes me happy and... lonely...
> because you are all so physically distant from me... how do I find people like this around here ?!
> How to identify inside the boring looking I'm sleepy faces in the train for people with phoenix hearts ?
> 
> :-(


You all are such wonderful, intelligent, loving, interesting people!! AAAUGH!! My heart swelleth!!

I teared up at the last part . . . "how to identify inside the boring looking I'm sleepy faces in the train for people with phoenix hearts? Oh boy, do I feel lonely sometimes in public transport too with all the grumpy faces and people determined not to make eye contact and acknowledge each other's humanity! 

I am lucky to say that there is a NF meetup group here in the Los Angeles area and what a thrill it was to be surrounded by so many NF's who were all so well read and making connections left and right about humanity, society, technology, politics and more with their big, open, idealistic NF hearts!!

Society does tend to beat us up so. Emotion is not weakness, people! Vulnerability is strength! I highly believe that.


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> I think we need something like a dog whistle.... a transmitter we wear that puts out a signal only other NFs can hear. Wouldn't that be awesome?!
> 
> Random humorous digression: I read a few years ago about something called the mosquito (I think). Apparently we all lose the capacity to hear very high frequency tones as we age. Some inventor made use of this fact to create a device called the mosquito. It sends out a very loud, annoying beep (like smoke alarm constantly going off) only heard by ~23 and under set. This device was sold to convenience and liquor stores irritated with young hooligans hanging around and loitering in their parking lots. Naturally, the crafty teens had the last laugh. Apparently, mosquito tone has become a popular text notification sound so kinds in high school and college can keep connected during class without their teachers being any the wiser.


lol - I heard about that tone, but I didn't know it was called the mosquito. How clever of the teens, though! lol


----------



## Lizabeth

Endless Rainbows said:


> You all are such wonderful, intelligent, loving, interesting people!! AAAUGH!! My heart swelleth!!
> 
> I teared up at the last part . . . "how to identify inside the boring looking I'm sleepy faces in the train for people with phoenix hearts? Oh boy, do I feel lonely sometimes in public transport too with all the grumpy faces and people determined not to make eye contact and acknowledge each other's humanity!
> 
> I am lucky to say that there is a NF meetup group here in the Los Angeles area and what a thrill it was to be surrounded by so many NF's who were all so well read and making connections left and right about humanity, society, technology, politics and more with their big, open, idealistic NF hearts!!
> 
> Society does tend to beat us up so. Emotion is not weakness, people! Vulnerability is strength! I highly believe that.


So what do folsk do at an NF meetup group? Do they just chat, or are there activities to break the ice? Is it like a big wine and cheese party?


----------



## Endless Rainbows

Lizabeth said:


> So what do folsk do at an NF meetup group? Do they just chat, or are there activities to break the ice? Is it like a big wine and cheese party?


This particular meetup was a dinner party at a restaurant so we just ate, chatted and talked some more post dinner. Other activities have been games nights and other social events. I learned a lot from the NF leader about our type and it was like, ooohhh, there are other strange ones like me, yay!!


----------



## Lizabeth

Endless Rainbows said:


> This particular meetup was a dinner party at a restaurant so we just ate, chatted and talked some more post dinner. Other activities have been games nights and other social events. I learned a lot from the NF leader about our type and it was like, ooohhh, there are other strange ones like me, yay!!


Wow, I'm jealous! So was this just a local thing, or is there some national NF organization out there that is a central hub for these things?


----------



## Endless Rainbows

Lizabeth said:


> Wow, I'm jealous! So was this just a local thing, or is there some national NF organization out there that is a central hub for these things?


Oh, no, I wish it was a national organization. That would be neat! This was just a local thing. It was started by an INFJ who decided to devote his helping, altruistic tendencies to help other NF's feel validated and understood. Seriously wonderful guy! 

Have you guys seen the NFGeeks videos? Some of the videos are very entertaining and enlightening.

https://www.youtube.com/user/nfgeeks


----------



## Lizabeth

Endless Rainbows said:


> Oh, no, I wish it was a national organization. That would be neat! This was just a local thing. It was started by an INFJ who decided to devote his helping, altruistic tendencies to help other NF's feel validated and understood. Seriously wonderful guy!
> 
> Have you guys seen the NFGeeks videos? Some of the videos are very entertaining and enlightening.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/user/nfgeeks


That's a cool thing, Rainbow...maybe we need to start an international organization. Unfortunately, we ENFPs are good at generating the ideas, but not so great at the follow through...but hmmm....now we've got an ENFJ on our hands, so....


----------



## Endless Rainbows

Lizabeth said:


> That's a cool thing, Rainbow...maybe we need to start an international organization. Unfortunately, we ENFPs are good at generating the ideas, but not so great at the follow through...but hmmm....now we've got an ENFJ on our hands, so....


LOLOLOL! 

I seem to have become lassoed in to head something again! Funny how this happens in my life over and over again . . . Oprah (famous ENFJ), where are you when we need you?

But in all seriousness, that would be really cool. I would love to do that once I get career more settled in place. NF's have so much to offer the world since we care about humanity so much. 

Secret handshake activate!!


----------



## sittapygmaea

good to see you knocking around here again today @Endless Rainbows. I noticed you over on the exercise thread too! I swear that everyone on this thread does some kind of regular exercise... whether it's boxing, jogging, mixing it up with a sadistic personal trainer... we are a fit, hard-bodied bunch, we gen x nfs :wink:

Since we haven't figured out the secret handshake thing yet, inquiring minds want to know: how did you find out about NF meetups in your area? I wonder if there is something like that around here and I just don't know about it.

I've noticed on the periphery of my consciousness that there are local PerC meetups too. I've always wondered how that would feel, in particular as someone who is pretty private. I am definitely more revealing in the relative anonymity of the forum than I would be if I met you at work. And it's kind of nice that when you normally meet someone irl (even, say, at an NF dinner party), you get to decide how much to reveal of yourself. It would feel kind of weird 'meeting' people for the first time who already have full knowledge of your suicidal thoughts, recent terrible breakup, contentious relationship with your parents, etc., etc.. 

Then again, maybe I'm overthinking it.


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> good to see you knocking around here again today @Endless Rainbows. I noticed you over on the exercise thread too! I swear that everyone on this thread does some kind of regular exercise... whether it's boxing, jogging, mixing it up with a sadistic personal trainer... we are a fit, hard-bodied bunch, we gen x nfs :wink:
> 
> Since we haven't figured out the secret handshake thing yet, inquiring minds want to know: how did you find out about NF meetups in your area? I wonder if there is something like that around here and I just don't know about it.
> 
> I've noticed on the periphery of my consciousness that there are local PerC meetups too. I've always wondered how that would feel, in particular as someone who is pretty private. I am definitely more revealing in the relative anonymity of the forum than I would be if I met you at work. And it's kind of nice that when you normally meet someone irl (even, say, at an NF dinner party), you get to decide how much to reveal of yourself. It would feel kind of weird 'meeting' people for the first time who already have full knowledge of your suicidal thoughts, recent terrible breakup, contentious relationship with your parents, etc., etc..
> 
> Then again, maybe I'm overthinking it.


I wouldn't call myself fit or hard-bodied! But the sadistic personal trainer is getting me closer to that goal :wink:

As for the PerC meetups --yeah, I'm the same way. I like to keep my online life and personal life separate. It would probably be a little awkward if the two of them were to mix.


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> good to see you knocking around here again today @Endless Rainbows. I noticed you over on the exercise thread too! I swear that everyone on this thread does some kind of regular exercise... whether it's boxing, jogging, mixing it up with a sadistic personal trainer... we are a fit, hard-bodied bunch, we gen x nfs :wink:
> 
> Since we haven't figured out the secret handshake thing yet, inquiring minds want to know: how did you find out about NF meetups in your area? I wonder if there is something like that around here and I just don't know about it.
> 
> I've noticed on the periphery of my consciousness that there are local PerC meetups too. I've always wondered how that would feel, in particular as someone who is pretty private. I am definitely more revealing in the relative anonymity of the forum than I would be if I met you at work. And it's kind of nice that when you normally meet someone irl (even, say, at an NF dinner party), you get to decide how much to reveal of yourself. It would feel kind of weird 'meeting' people for the first time who already have full knowledge of your suicidal thoughts, recent terrible breakup, contentious relationship with your parents, etc., etc..
> 
> Then again, maybe I'm overthinking it.


I wouldn't call myself fit or hard-bodied! But the sadistic personal trainer is getting me closer to that goal :wink:

As for the PerC meetups --yeah, I'm the same way. I like to keep my online life and personal life separate. It would probably be a little awkward if the two of them were to mix.


----------



## sittapygmaea

OK @Lizabeth, a belated follow up, aka, first person reflections on discursive implicature. 

So, given the conversation we had just had, I picked up on your 'crumbs' right away. But honestly, if I hadn't been primed, I don't think I would have followed up on what you wrote. It didn't _feel_ to me like you wanted to talk more about it. What exactly gave me that vibe? I've been knocking around with the question all day today. 

I can't fully put my finger on it. The best I can do is say that when people _want_ you to ask a follow up question, they usually signal that by phrasing things in such a way as to leave a very obvious, natural question on the table. 

Examples: "Sorry I didn't respond earlier; I had a kind of a tough day with the kids." Natural response: What made it a tough day with the kids?

"Ugh! I hate that phrase 'you're smart for a girl' I had some really bad experiences with that in school." Natural question: What happened in school? 

The follow up question is so specific and obvious, it's like someone is issuing a formal invitation for you to ask it. 

With what you wrote, it's harder to find the right way "in" to a follow up question. It's such a HUGE and emotionally loaded topic: the emotional evolution of a person from young childhood to early adulthood. I don't want to _start out_ by prying into your major childhood emotional wounds. In the absence of some more specific crumbs to direct a line of questioning, that conversation feels invasive. I would feel like a person charging through the police tape to look at the crime scene on the other side: an obtuse buffoon. 

OK, well, how did you recapture your wise intuition when you were older? That's a fascinating and natural question given what you wrote. But you can't really have a meaningful conversation _starting_ there. I mean, I could ask that, and maybe you could say something vague like "I learned to listen to my heart," but that wouldn't really tell me anything substantial. It's like asking someone to recount the winning move in a game for which you don't even know the rules of play. 

So when I read your two sentences, all kinds of questions flash through my mind: whose expectations tamped down your intuition? How? Did you rebel at all? What was the source of the angst? How did it affect your self expression? When did you even start to realize you had internalized other people's expectations? and on and on. 

But I don't feel like I've been given any guidance on which questions to ask, and not wanting to pry or make you uncomfortable, my impulse is just to let the questions pass, unasked. 

So, I'm going to turn this whole discussion back around? Do you _actually_ want follow up questions? Or would you rather leave it all vague and impressionistic? Which questions seem _to you_ like the natural follow up to what you wrote?




Lizabeth said:


> Oh, I love that story about your niece, by the way! I adore intuitive kids. They hold so much wisdom at such a young age. Hopefully she doesn't lose track of it along the way like I did with mine. I had to find my way back to my wise and confident 4-year old self after I let her get buried under a whole lot of angst and other people's expectations along the way through adolescence and early adulthood.


----------



## FePa

sittapygmaea said:


> I think we need something like a dog whistle.... a transmitter we wear that puts out a signal only other NFs can hear. Wouldn't that be awesome?!
> 
> Random humorous digression: I read a few years ago about something called the mosquito (I think). Apparently we all lose the capacity to hear very high frequency tones as we age. Some inventor made use of this fact to create a device called the mosquito. It sends out a very loud, annoying beep (like smoke alarm constantly going off) only heard by ~23 and under set. This device was sold to convenience and liquor stores irritated with young hooligans hanging around and loitering in their parking lots. Naturally, the crafty teens had the last laugh. Apparently, mosquito tone has become a popular text notification sound so kinds in high school and college can keep connected during class without their teachers being any the wiser.


Oh, I have a notification sound in my phone called mosquito, I'll check. 

Speaking of hearing, I'm so super sensitive to loud noise and repetitive sounds. Are you guys like this too ?
I'm like a reverse old grumpy lady, always telling people to be quiet


----------



## FePa

sittapygmaea said:


> @FePa I confess that I cannot always tell the difference between levity and candor online. Steering a middle course to "thread death" or "perC death"... who would we look up to if you weren't around? Who would so gracefully keep us entertaintained? Don't you dare abandon us, you sexy multi-lingual science goddess! (How many languages do you speak, btw?)
> 
> Re: location: I'm in San Francisco, and a degenerate night owl. I rarely go to sleep before 1, and I really try to keep it to 3, but... I just love that time of night. And PerC is so stimulating. Damn you hooligans for leading me down this wayward path...:tongue:


I'm sorry, Sitta, it's pure levity. I don't really have any intention of finishing my real humanly body life anytime soon (maybe I should then stop bad habits? *shrugs*)
I'm always talking in some kind of metaphorical death when I feel like in the edge of something in my life.
I get attract to the will of jumping the cliff, fly away and above... the mass destruction weapon we NFs have, end everything it's bothering us.
Have I mentioned Phoenix Heart already today ?

Since you mentioned the confessional mode we go through, I do feel like venting some more with you girls my age, but this is a public place and we never know who's lurking so, I'll keep under the rugs
:tongue:

I speak 4 languages, sweetie
roud:


----------



## Endless Rainbows

sittapygmaea said:


> good to see you knocking around here again today @Endless Rainbows. I noticed you over on the exercise thread too! I swear that everyone on this thread does some kind of regular exercise... whether it's boxing, jogging, mixing it up with a sadistic personal trainer... we are a fit, hard-bodied bunch, we gen x nfs :wink:
> 
> Since we haven't figured out the secret handshake thing yet, inquiring minds want to know: how did you find out about NF meetups in your area? I wonder if there is something like that around here and I just don't know about it.
> 
> I've noticed on the periphery of my consciousness that there are local PerC meetups too. I've always wondered how that would feel, in particular as someone who is pretty private. I am definitely more revealing in the relative anonymity of the forum than I would be if I met you at work. And it's kind of nice that when you normally meet someone irl (even, say, at an NF dinner party), you get to decide how much to reveal of yourself. It would feel kind of weird 'meeting' people for the first time who already have full knowledge of your suicidal thoughts, recent terrible breakup, contentious relationship with your parents, etc., etc..
> 
> Then again, maybe I'm overthinking it.


 @sittapygmaea & @Lizbeth, I agree that I would not be as open if not for the perceived anonymity of the Internets. Part of the fun and freedom of it all. Yes, with some of the things I reveal on here, I would be highly embarrassed in real life to look someone in the eye who knew so much, LOLOLOL!

This NF group was because I was dating the leader of the group for a bit and he told me about it then I found it through meetup.com. Maybe check your local meetup.com groups for an Intuitive Feelers group? 
@FePa, yes, I'm very sensitive to loud noises! Noise pollution stinks! Repetitive noises don't bother me as much.


----------



## sittapygmaea

I am also very sensitive to loud noise. I could give you a million examples, like I hate listening to music when I'm in the presence of other people. Its too much auditory stimulation for me. On my own I love it. 



FePa said:


> Oh, I have a notification sound in my phone called mosquito, I'll check.
> 
> Speaking of hearing, I'm so super sensitive to loud noise and repetitive sounds. Are you guys like this too ?
> I'm like a reverse old grumpy lady, always telling people to be quiet


----------



## sittapygmaea

FePa said:


> Since you mentioned the confessional mode we go through, I do feel like venting some more with you girls my age, but this is a public place and we never know who's lurking so, I'll keep under the rugs
> :tongue:


OK; now you have my interest piqued *arched eyebrow*




FePa said:


> I speak 4 languages, sweetie roud:


I'm not sure if I should drop to my knees and worship you or throw a big, foot-stomping tantrum because you got all the language talent I always wanted. :frustrating:


----------



## FePa

sittapygmaea said:


> OK; now you have my interest piqued *arched eyebrow*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'm not sure if I should drop to my knees and worship you or throw a big, foot-stomping tantrum because you got all the language talent I always wanted. :frustrating:


Just be happy you master one so perfectly that you can draw clouds in rainbow colors in people's imaginations when you write
:-*

Well, circumstances play a big role in that.
I'm not from a country which has English as first language and lived/lived in two other different countries. 

More than a skill, necessity is the mother of ... whom again? I forgot








Ps: and yeah, I'm awesome indeed, no false modesty


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> OK @Lizabeth, a belated follow up, aka, first person reflections on discursive implicature.
> 
> So, given the conversation we had just had, I picked up on your 'crumbs' right away. But honestly, if I hadn't been primed, I don't think I would have followed up on what you wrote. It didn't _feel_ to me like you wanted to talk more about it. What exactly gave me that vibe? I've been knocking around with the question all day today.
> 
> I can't fully put my finger on it. The best I can do is say that when people _want_ you to ask a follow up question, they usually signal that by phrasing things in such a way as to leave a very obvious, natural question on the table.
> 
> Examples: "Sorry I didn't respond earlier; I had a kind of a tough day with the kids." Natural response: What made it a tough day with the kids?
> 
> "Ugh! I hate that phrase 'you're smart for a girl' I had some really bad experiences with that in school." Natural question: What happened in school?
> 
> The follow up question is so specific and obvious, it's like someone is issuing a formal invitation for you to ask it.
> 
> With what you wrote, it's harder to find the right way "in" to a follow up question. It's such a HUGE and emotionally loaded topic: the emotional evolution of a person from young childhood to early adulthood. I don't want to _start out_ by prying into your major childhood emotional wounds. In the absence of some more specific crumbs to direct a line of questioning, that conversation feels invasive. I would feel like a person charging through the police tape to look at the crime scene on the other side: an obtuse buffoon.
> 
> OK, well, how did you recapture your wise intuition when you were older? That's a fascinating and natural question given what you wrote. But you can't really have a meaningful conversation _starting_ there. I mean, I could ask that, and maybe you could say something vague like "I learned to listen to my heart," but that wouldn't really tell me anything substantial. It's like asking someone to recount the winning move in a game for which you don't even know the rules of play.
> 
> So when I read your two sentences, all kinds of questions flash through my mind: whose expectations tamped down your intuition? How? Did you rebel at all? What was the source of the angst? How did it affect your self expression? When did you even start to realize you had internalized other people's expectations? and on and on.
> 
> But I don't feel like I've been given any guidance on which questions to ask, and not wanting to pry or make you uncomfortable, my impulse is just to let the questions pass, unasked.
> 
> So, I'm going to turn this whole discussion back around? Do you _actually_ want follow up questions? Or would you rather leave it all vague and impressionistic? Which questions seem _to you_ like the natural follow up to what you wrote?


Oh, Sitta, darling, you're adorable! And your intelligence is penetrating. 

And your questions, the way you've approached it, has me going back to the original questions that started it all and it has me thinking more about my style of revealing myself to other people. So hmmm...

Don't take this as a brush off (because it's not) but when I made the comment, it wasn't really an explicit invitation in the way of "Ask me! Someboedy ask me about it!". It really was just related to my musings about your niece, and how beautiful it is when children are in touch with their intuitive feely side when they were young. And it led me to reflect back on my own childhood, and my own journey to reconnect with and trust that side of myself in adulthood. Which led back to my comment about my hope that your niece would have those qualities nurtured in her rather than squashed. So it was sort of an ENFP train of thought that led to me making the comment about myself, rather than a strong need to disclose.I think would have said more if I had been in disclosure mode, since this is already a place where I feel pretty comfortable having conversations about such things in (even though I know there are spies all around *glances furtively over her shoulder* I do enjoy discussing these types of things witn you all, my buddies here). 

So that was honestly a careless crumb that I dropped, it wasn't bait. But since you bring it up, I'm certainly happy to discuss it!

So with that pondering out of the way, let me answer your question. *pulls out up a chair and starts pouring some tea from the tea pot that Venture left lying around -- since it's a magical NF teapot, the tea is always fresh and warm and pours out in whichever way you need it.* 

*pours a cup for Sitta and herself, and offers some to anyone else who would like to join the conversation*

Don't worry about the wounds part, by the way. These are wounds that have healed over time as I gained a better understanding of myself and my place in the world. 

But basically the story isn't anything really huge. I've found that it's actually farly common among NF types around here. And since I've been hanging out at PerC, I've gained an even better perspective on what it all means and how to put it in perspective. There was no serious abuse or anything. I just had an ISFJ mother. And an ENfJ/ENTJ father. I don't think I would have struggled as much if my dad had been ENFJ all the time, but he often tended to slip into a highly T-focused mode when it came to parenting (he was much more F when it came to dealing with other people). So I had two parents who didn't really understand and appreciate my partcuar brand of intuition or my passions. They both tried to make me fit their mold in different ways. My mother wanted me to be all super Fe like her (worrying about what everyone else thought, sacrificing my own wants and needs to focus on the wants and needs of everyone else), and she was the type who worried about the unknown and couldn't undrstand my need to explore the world and try new things. So I let a lot of her pressures and anxieties shape the way that I felt and behaved. Not that I didn't rebel -- my mother would tell you that I was an absolute problem child, which I wasn't. But the fact that I could never win her absolute love and approval by just being myself made me doubt myself, my instincts, and my worth. I know now that she loved me in the best way I knew how, but I always felt as though my stubborn independent streak, the need to follow my own path (which I know now as my Fi) cost me when it came to having the nurturing that I needed. 

With my dad -- I admired him greatly. I looked up to him and aspired to be like him, and we were much more similar to each other in many ways. We both loved to talk and debate about politics, religion, history, society, etc.. I realize now thta he admired my independent streak, and he tried to nurture it, but he was always trying to quash my emotional/passionate streak. I realize now that it was because he wanted to toughen me up for the world. But he didn't understand how much it hurt me when we talked about something that was important to me (Fi again) and he'd be playfully dismissive, taking on the devil's advocate role, telling me that I shouldn't allow myself to feel so strongly and become so emotional in a debate. I know he was trying to help me, but again, ti was quashing a part of myself that I now know was integral to who I am. 

So even though I was still me, I became a very ansty version of myself who doubted her instincts, her emotions, and her self worth. I began to see my emotions as the enemy and a source of shame. I didn't want to be overly emotional or let myself be vulnerable with others, because to do so would be to gain the disapproval of my father and to be too much like my needy overly emotional and demanding mother (that was what I had internalized in my subconscience -- it took a while for me to recognize that). I was probably in my early thirties by the time I realized that not ony had I lost my (I figured that out in my 20s), but that the secret was that I needed to find my way back to that brave, confident, intuitive, kck-ass little girl that I had been on my first day of kindergarten, when I was 3 going on 4. That little girl was so eager to take on the world -- no worries about leaving the safety and familiarity of mommy and home. She walked into school saying "Alright! Let' do this! New people? That's awesome, let me make some friends and figure them out! They're going to teach me stuff? Sweet! I can't wait to find out what happens next!"

lol, obviously my 4 year old self didn't actually talk/think this way since she grew up in the 70s, but you get the picture. 

so yeah, when I started realizing the value in that little girl version of me, I started the process of figuring out how I could get her back, how to unbury her and embrace her and integrate her into the adult that had become -- or more accurately, the adult that I wanted to be. 

so yeah, that's the answer to your question. A thorough question deserves a thorough answer. 

I'm interested in other people's experiences of this as well, now that we've opened it up. I know @FePa has had similar experiences with her xSFJ mother too.


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> Oh, I have a notification sound in my phone called mosquito, I'll check.
> 
> Speaking of hearing, I'm so super sensitive to loud noise and repetitive sounds. Are you guys like this too ?
> I'm like a reverse old grumpy lady, always telling people to be quiet


I think I have very poor Se (well I know I do!), so I'm not very sensitive to background noises at all. I've often missed the sound of the fire alarm in my building because it sounds soft when I'm in my bedroom, and while part of my brain hear's it, I have a tendency to let it blend in without focusing on it until part of my brain eventually goes..."ummm...you hear that. you might want to pay attention to that". 

But n the flip side, I loved to study in noisy environments when I was in school. Too much silence would drive me batty. Now I use earphones and music to fill that function, but I always preferred studying in the noisy student centre than the quiet library back in my uni days.


----------



## FePa

Lizabeth said:


> Oh, Sitta, darling, you're adorable! And your intelligence is penetrating.
> 
> And your questions, the way you've approached it, has me going back to the original questions that started it all and it has me thinking more about my style of revealing myself to other people. So hmmm...
> 
> Don't take this as a brush off (because it's not) but when I made the comment, it wasn't really an explicit invitation in the way of "Ask me! Someboedy ask me about it!". It really was just related to my musings about your niece, and how beautiful it is when children are in touch with their intuitive feely side when they were young. And it led me to reflect back on my own childhood, and my own journey to reconnect with and trust that side of myself in adulthood. Which led back to my comment about my hope that your niece would have those qualities nurtured in her rather than squashed. So it was sort of an ENFP train of thought that led to me making the comment about myself, rather than a strong need to disclose.I think would have said more if I had been in disclosure mode, since this is already a place where I feel pretty comfortable having conversations about such things in (even though I know there are spies all around *glances furtively over her shoulder* I do enjoy discussing these types of things witn you all, my buddies here).
> 
> So that was honestly a careless crumb that I dropped, it wasn't bait. But since you bring it up, I'm certainly happy to discuss it!
> 
> So with that pondering out of the way, let me answer your question. *pulls out up a chair and starts pouring some tea from the tea pot that Venture left lying around -- since it's a magical NF teapot, the tea is always fresh and warm and pours out in whichever way you need it.*
> 
> *pours a cup for Sitta and herself, and offers some to anyone else who would like to join the conversation*
> 
> Don't worry about the wounds part, by the way. These are wounds that have healed over time as I gained a better understanding of myself and my place in the world.
> 
> But basically the story isn't anything really huge. I've found that it's actually farly common among NF types around here. And since I've been hanging out at PerC, I've gained an even better perspective on what it all means and how to put it in perspective. There was no serious abuse or anything. I just had an ISFJ mother. And an ENfJ/ENTJ father. I don't think I would have struggled as much if my dad had been ENFJ all the time, but he often tended to slip into a highly T-focused mode when it came to parenting (he was much more F when it came to dealing with other people). So I had two parents who didn't really understand and appreciate my partcuar brand of intuition or my passions. They both tried to make me fit their mold in different ways. My mother wanted me to be all super Fe like her (worrying about what everyone else thought, sacrificing my own wants and needs to focus on the wants and needs of everyone else), and she was the type who worried about the unknown and couldn't undrstand my need to explore the world and try new things. So I let a lot of her pressures and anxieties shape the way that I felt and behaved. Not that I didn't rebel -- my mother would tell you that I was an absolute problem child, which I wasn't. But the fact that I could never win her absolute love and approval by just being myself made me doubt myself, my instincts, and my worth. I know now that she loved me in the best way I knew how, but I always felt as though my stubborn independent streak, the need to follow my own path (which I know now as my Fi) cost me when it came to having the nurturing that I needed.
> 
> With my dad -- I admired him greatly. I looked up to him and aspired to be like him, and we were much more similar to each other in many ways. We both loved to talk and debate about politics, religion, history, society, etc.. I realize now thta he admired my independent streak, and he tried to nurture it, but he was always trying to quash my emotional/passionate streak. I realize now that it was because he wanted to toughen me up for the world. But he didn't understand how much it hurt me when we talked about something that was important to me (Fi again) and he'd be playfully dismissive, taking on the devil's advocate role, telling me that I shouldn't allow myself to feel so strongly and become so emotional in a debate. I know he was trying to help me, but again, ti was quashing a part of myself that I now know was integral to who I am.
> 
> So even though I was still me, I became a very ansty version of myself who doubted her instincts, her emotions, and her self worth. I began to see my emotions as the enemy and a source of shame. I didn't want to be overly emotional or let myself be vulnerable with others, because to do so would be to gain the disapproval of my father and to be too much like my needy overly emotional and demanding mother (that was what I had internalized in my subconscience -- it took a while for me to recognize that). I was probably in my early thirties by the time I realized that not ony had I lost my (I figured that out in my 20s), but that the secret was that I needed to find my way back to that brave, confident, intuitive, kck-ass little girl that I had been on my first day of kindergarten, when I was 3 going on 4. That little girl was so eager to take on the world -- no worries about leaving the safety and familiarity of mommy and home. She walked into school saying "Alright! Let' do this! New people? That's awesome, let me make some friends and figure them out! They're going to teach me stuff? Sweet! I can't wait to find out what happens next!"
> 
> lol, obviously my 4 year old self didn't actually talk/think this way since she grew up in the 70s, but you get the picture.
> 
> so yeah, when I started realizing the value in that little girl version of me, I started the process of figuring out how I could get her back, how to unbury her and embrace her and integrate her into the adult that had become -- or more accurately, the adult that I wanted to be.
> 
> so yeah, that's the answer to your question. A thorough question deserves a thorough answer.
> 
> I'm interested in other people's experiences of this as well, now that we've opened it up. I know @FePa has had similar experiences with her xSFJ mother too.


I want to read
I want to comment
But ... I just. .. can't. ..
:/
Is my mom xSFJ ?


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> I want to read
> I want to comment
> But ... I just. .. can't. ..
> :/
> Is my mom xSFJ ?


Oh, sorry, I thought you said she was. I'm confused again apparently *sigh*


----------



## FePa

Lizabeth said:


> Oh, sorry, I thought you said she was. I'm confused again apparently *sigh*


Tbh, I haven't got a glue what she is ! :shocked:


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> Tbh, I haven't got a glue what she is ! :shocked:


Oooh! Well then we should figure her out!


----------



## FePa

Lizabeth said:


> Oooh! Well then we should figure her out!


Yep, let's

What should I think about? 
Can you ask me some questions to guide me, mommy-wise?


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> Yep, let's
> 
> What should I think about?
> Can you ask me some questions to guide me, mommy-wise?


Hmmm... okay. 

Why don't we start with this: what 5 words would you use to describe your mother's best traits? What 5 words would you use to describe her less desirable (to you) traits?

Does your mom get excited energized when she's around other people? Or is she quietly warm? Is she withdrawn and detached? 

How does your mom feel about society's rules? Was she a big rule setter/planner or more of a go with the flow/let's see what happens type? Would she get upset if plans went awry, or would she shrug and try to figure out an alternative solution? 

Does she like to talk about ideas and possilbities or facts about people, places, things, and events that have already taken place?


----------



## sittapygmaea

It's funny that all these parental topics just cropped up, because I'm sitting here with my parents who arrived at my house this morning and will stay overnight tonight. *Intuition buzzers vibrating in the background*


----------



## Endless Rainbows

I want to join this learning lesson too as I don't have a clue what my Mom's MB type was either. She, sadly, passed many years ago but I still would love to figure this out. 

*takes a sip of tea*



> Why don't we start with this: what 5 words would you use to describe your mother's best traits? What 5 words would you use to describe her less desirable (to you) traits?


Mommy dearest's best traits:

1. Kind
2. Gentle
3. Compassionate
4. Intelligent
5. Industrious

Less desirable traits

1. Push-over/passive
2. Cared too much what others thought
3. Did not know how to express anger, bottled up inside?
4. Poor self-care/neglect of self, too giving?
5. Timid



> Does your mom get excited energized when she's around other people? Or is she quietly warm? Is she withdrawn and detached?


She is quietly warm. If she is not comfortable with new people, she gets very quiet and withdrawn.



> How does your mom feel about society's rules? Was she a big rule setter/planner or more of a go with the flow/let's see what happens type? Would she get upset if plans went awry, or would she shrug and try to figure out an alternative solution?


She was a go with the flow/let's see what happens type. If plans went awry, she would get a bit upset but could change plans easily. Her life was pretty structured and neat. She was a teacher at one point in her life.



> Does she like to talk about ideas and possilbities or facts about people, places, things, and events that have already taken place?"


She was more of a facts about people, place, things and events type.

I am leaning towards INFJ/ISFJ at this point.


----------



## Lizabeth

Endless Rainbows said:


> I want to join this learning lesson too as I don't have a clue what my Mom's MB type was either. She, sadly, passed many years ago but I still would love to figure this out.
> 
> *takes a sip of tea*
> 
> 
> 
> Mommy dearest's best traits:
> 
> 1. Kind
> 2. Gentle
> 3. Compassionate
> 4. Intelligent
> 5. Industrious
> 
> Less desirable traits
> 
> 1. Push-over/passive
> 2. Cared too much what others thought
> 3. Did not know how to express anger, bottled up inside?
> 4. Poor self-care/neglect of self, too giving?
> 5. Timid
> 
> 
> 
> She is quietly warm. If she is not comfortable with new people, she gets very quiet and withdrawn.
> 
> 
> 
> She was a go with the flow/let's see what happens type. If plans went awry, she would get a bit upset but could change plans easily. Her life was pretty structured and neat. She was a teacher at one point in her life.
> 
> 
> 
> She was more of a facts about people, place, things and events type.
> 
> I am leaning towards INFJ/ISFJ at this point.


My thought was ISFJ/ISFP (her ability to go with the flow kind of threw me off there). I'm thinking most likely ISFJ, which is also my mother's type. And interesting, my mother was also a teacher. But yes, I would guess that your mother was at least an ISFx. 

If you don't mind my asking, what was your relationship like? 

And does this sound like your mother? 

ISFJ personality | 16Personalities


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> It's funny that all these parental topics just cropped up, because I'm sitting here with my parents who arrived at my house this morning and will stay overnight tonight. *Intuition buzzers vibrating in the background*


lol -- you'll have to tell us about it when you're free.


----------



## Endless Rainbows

Lizabeth said:


> My thought was ISFJ/ISFP (her ability to go with the flow kind of threw me off there). I'm thinking most likely ISFJ, which is also my mother's type. And interesting, my mother was also a teacher. But yes, I would guess that your mother was at least an ISFx.
> 
> If you don't mind my asking, what was your relationship like?
> 
> And does this sound like your mother?
> 
> ISFJ personality | 16Personalities


It's a fairly good description. She was so ordered about things, I would peg her for a J instead of a P. She was so passive though, not wanting to rock the boat about many things.

My relationship with my mother was very good. She was a good person and I don't say this lightly. She was calm, patient, giving and kind. She never coerced us into anything but encouraged correct behavior by rewarding positive actions. My brother and I both know she loved us dearly and grieved her early loss. She was a bit too gentle for this world. People took advantage of that gentleness. 

Just throwing this in . . . my relationship with my father was a bit more tumultuous as he was on the narcissism spectrum and was a bit of a tyrant. He was the patriarchal autocrat in the family who ruled with an iron fist. He was a loving man though.


----------



## Lizabeth

Endless Rainbows said:


> It's a fairly good description. She was so ordered about things, I would peg her for a J instead of a P. She was so passive though, not wanting to rock the boat about many things.
> 
> My relationship with my mother was very good. She was a good person and I don't say this lightly. She was calm, patient, giving and kind. She never coerced us into anything but encouraged correct behavior by rewarding positive actions. My brother and I both know she loved us dearly and grieved her early loss. She was a bit too gentle for this world. People took advantage of that gentleness.
> 
> Just throwing this in . . . my relationship with my father was a bit more tumultuous as he was on the narcissism spectrum and was a bit of a tyrant. He was the patriarchal autocrat in the family who ruled with an iron fist. He was a loving man though.


Your mother sounds a lot like my mother. I wonder if she and I would have been a better fit if I had been an ENFJ instead of an ENFP. I have a feeling I might have been able to tolerate her need for social order better. Or if she had been an ISFP she might have been less put out by my need to not be boxed in by social expectations and rules. I'm not saying that ENFJ's are rigidly rule bound, by the way. Just that maybe there's less frustration in the parent-child relationship when both parties are J's or both parties are Ps. 

Were you wanting to try to figure out your father's type too? I would start by guessing that he's a TJ type.


----------



## Endless Rainbows

Lizabeth said:


> Your mother sounds a lot like my mother. I wonder if she and I would have been a better fit if I had been an ENFJ instead of an ENFP. I have a feeling I might have been able to tolerate her need for social order better. Or if she had been an ISFP she might have been less put out by my need to not be boxed in by social expectations and rules. I'm not saying that ENFJ's are rigidly rule bound, by the way. Just that maybe there's less frustration in the parent-child relationship when both parties are J's or both parties are Ps.
> 
> Were you wanting to try to figure out your father's type too? I would start by guessing that he's a TJ type.


Yes, personality types aren't determined by genetics. All kinds in all families. Yes, I see your point about a J getting along better with another J than a P. 

I'm pretty sure my Dad was an INTJ or ENTJ. My brother is an INTJ as well. Not the highly emotional supportive types for an NF like me. Very callous of feelings at times. It was kinda lonely after Mom died but I learned to accept and love them for the way they were although it sometimes felt like I was from Saturn while the men in my family were from Jupiter.


----------



## Lizabeth

Endless Rainbows said:


> Yes, personality types aren't determined by genetics. All kinds in all families. Yes, I see your point about a J getting along better with another J than a P.
> 
> I'm pretty sure my Dad was an INTJ or ENTJ. My brother is an INTJ as well. Not the highly emotional supportive types for an NF like me. Very callous of feelings at times. It was kinda lonely after Mom died but I learned to accept and love them for the way they were although it sometimes felt like I was from Saturn while the men in my family were from Jupiter.


Just to be clear, I have a lot of J types in my life that I get along well with -- I love my ENFJ's and INTJ's and the like. And I really suspect that I would have a better relationship with my mother if I weren't her daughter. People generally tend to adore her, and I understand why. I just think the expectations and demands of the mother-daughter relationship put a lot of stress on that N-P/S-J dynamic. Despite that, I actually suspect that I would be most compatible with an ENFJ or INFJ in a romantic partnership. It would be a different dynamic and I think that I could benefit from J-type to balance out my P if we were meeting as equals.


----------



## FePa

I guess I did read something about not being genetically inherited per se, like blue eyrs, but yes, some influence. Also the birth order and available niche. Like f.ex, I was an ENFP occupying too much of the extroverts side and when my brother came along, since I was older and "fixed" in that role, that space, it didn't have much availability to become a massive extrovert, for example, because I crashed him.
Or I don't know. 
Can't think about that now

It's too random to be just guided by chaos, , there'sa pattern somewhere.


----------



## FePa

7 minutes procrastination to answer you, my dear



Lizabeth said:


> what 5 words would you use to describe your mother's best traits?


1. Compromised, she is always there for others, like to be "of use", she does what it has to be done, no matter how boring or laborious
2. Very artistic and creative i many areas (linguistics, arts, music)
3. Emotional and emotive, empath
4. Romantic and idealist 



> What 5 words would you use to describe her less desirable (to you) traits?


1. Controller and manipulative
2. Too emotional sometimes
3. She's too attached to the past, can't let go of things and emotions and people. Hold her wounds
4. Has this calm and determination in her annoyances and is able to drive me mad with insistence 




> Does your mom get excited energized when she's around other people? Or is she quietly warm? Is she withdrawn and detached?


Funny, I start answering that she is quietly warm but then remembered that my mom is able to make friends with the Queen of England given the opportunity to be close to her 5 min. But she is not expansive like me, for example. But she is a people's person, with a lot of charisma. She always dealt with people and later in life she became a professor and she's absolutely adored by her students and I can see it now, in my adulthood... (teenager we used to fight like cat and dog)



> How does your mom feel about society's rules?
> Was she a big rule setter/planner or more of a go with the flow/let's see what happens type?


She is a total go with the flow with strict plans
hehehe
She loves structure and planning and fluxograms and organization and needs it, but can get lost sometimes and just decided to take a nap. But she has a motto that I admire, follow and expect from other people "Mission given, mission accomplished"



> Would she get upset if plans went awry, or would she shrug and try to figure out an alternative solution?


She would get upset and bug the hell out of anyone but see the alternative solutions later on
(and bug some more in the process)



> Does she like to talk about ideas and possibilities or facts about people, places, things, and events that have already taken place?


Well, she is extremlly creative and imaginative. She used to draw to me while telling me bedtime stories, as in a cartoon comic book. (Now she does to my child)
We paint together, we read, she has a complete set of books she wrote about me and my brother with our cutie children's mischievousness, we had infinite theater plays she directed... 

but I can see the difference between me and her is that she "plays" with reality - let's see, the pictures she paints are perfection, human proportion correct, the right set of colors and structure, etc. Mine are abstract or representations of, like I love to paint and draw as if I was a child (@Dabbling saw my drawings) because that's the fun part !
when I paint, I use chocking colors, contrasts.
I invent songs, she sings them.
I write about fantasy and magical things, she reported facts, in a romantic and endearing way, yes, but facts.

She is romantic and sensitive regarding love matters but she lives in the real world, where husbands are annoying and wives forgive, children misbehave because they are children and you have to endure, etc
and I live in the romantic ideal cold platonic world where there must be a 100% satisfaction or your money back



I don' know... several times during my answering - that took 10 min more than it should - I guessed INFP... ISFP ?
ESFP ? what about all the controlling ?? could she be a J ?


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> 7 minutes procrastination to answer you, my dear
> 
> 
> 
> 1. Compromised, she is always there for others, like to be "of use", she does what it has to be done, no matter how boring or laborious
> 2. Very artistic and creative i many areas (linguistics, arts, music)
> 3. Emotional and emotive, empath
> 4. Romantic and idealist
> 
> 
> 
> 1. Controller and manipulative
> 2. Too emotional sometimes
> 3. She's too attached to the past, can't let go of things and emotions and people. Hold her wounds
> 4. Has this calm and determination in her annoyances and is able to drive me mad with insistence
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Funny, I start answering that she is quietly warm but then remembered that my mom is able to make friends with the Queen of England given the opportunity to be close to her 5 min. But she is not expansive like me, for example. But she is a people's person, with a lot of charisma. She always dealt with people and later in life she became a professor and she's absolutely adored by her students and I can see it now, in my adulthood... (teenager we used to fight like cat and dog)
> 
> 
> 
> She is a total go with the flow with strict plans
> hehehe
> She loves structure and planning and fluxograms and organization and needs it, but can get lost sometimes and just decided to take a nap. But she has a motto that I admire, follow and expect from other people "Mission given, mission accomplished"
> 
> 
> 
> She would get upset and bug the hell out of anyone but see the alternative solutions later on
> (and bug some more in the process)
> 
> 
> 
> Well, she is extremlly creative and imaginative. She used to draw to me while telling me bedtime stories, as in a cartoon comic book. (Now she does to my child)
> We paint together, we read, she has a complete set of books she wrote about me and my brother with our cutie children's mischievousness, we had infinite theater plays she directed...
> 
> but I can see the difference between me and her is that she "plays" with reality - let's see, the pictures she paints are perfection, human proportion correct, the right set of colors and structure, etc. Mine are abstract or representations of, like I love to paint and draw as if I was a child (@Dabbling saw my drawings) because that's the fun part !
> when I paint, I use chocking colors, contrasts.
> I invent songs, she sings them.
> I write about fantasy and magical things, she reported facts, in a romantic and endearing way, yes, but facts.
> 
> She is romantic and sensitive regarding love matters but she lives in the real world, where husbands are annoying and wives forgive, children misbehave because they are children and you have to endure, etc
> and I live in the romantic ideal cold platonic world where there must be a 100% satisfaction or your money back
> 
> 
> 
> I don' know... several times during my answering - that took 10 min more than it should - I guessed INFP... ISFP ?
> ESFP ? what about all the controlling ?? could she be a J ?


Okay, my guess is ESFJ. See if these descriptions make sense (I linked the strengths/weaknesses and parenting pages, but there are other pages you can review as well)
ESFJ strengths and weaknesses | 16Personalities
ESFJ parents | 16Personalities

She definitley sounds like an Fe-Si user, but it also sounds as though she has a strongly developed Ti as well. And her Ne may be why you and she can connect so well in some ways. 

Here's the little chart that I use for looking up the cognitive functions, by the way -- can't remember where I stole it from


----------



## FePa

Lizabeth said:


> Okay, my guess is ESFJ. See if these descriptions make sense (I linked the strengths/weaknesses and parenting pages, but there are other pages you can review as well)
> ESFJ strengths and weaknesses | 16Personalities
> ESFJ parents | 16Personalities
> 
> She definitley sounds like an Fe-Si user, but it also sounds as though she has a strongly developed Ti as well. And her Ne may be why you and she can connect so well in some ways.
> 
> Here's the little chart that I use for looking up the cognitive functions, by the way -- can't remember where I stole it from
> 
> 
> View attachment 215522


wow... it could be... could be... sounded very ... mommy


and I believe my daddy to be ESTJ ... but let me think about it later

(I'm in a race of one hour before library closes !! aaaaarrght)


----------



## Lizabeth

FePa said:


> wow... it could be... could be... sounded very ... mommy
> 
> 
> and I believe my daddy to be ESTJ ... but let me think about it later
> 
> (I'm in a race of one hour before library closes !! aaaaarrght)


Good luck Feeps!


----------



## FePa

Lizabeth said:


> Good luck Feeps!


Pause to cook, play horse with my little bug, stuff my face with chocolate


----------



## sittapygmaea

So much discussion about parents here while I was off cavorting with my own parents. The irony amuses me. Especially because my parents and I ended up spending a lot of time discussing MBTI and enneagram types, which they were both into when they were younger. 

My mom actually gave MBTI tests. She self-identifies as an INFP, like me, and an E type 6 (like my sister, who identifies as an ISFJ). My mother and I have some definite similarities (we can spend a very very long time talking), but are also very different in many ways. I would say that she is more self-aggrandizing, narcissistic, insecure, traditional, pushy, and judgmental and less conceptual/intellectual, and self aware than I am. On the other hand, she is more practical, sociable/extroverted, loyal, emotionally regulated, efficient and organized than I am, and less neurotic, remote and abstract. 

Perhaps the similarities make the differences more grating to me than they would otherwise be. My mom also has a thing about how we're "just alike" and she dwells on this in uncomfortable manner. My parents actually get in little spats occasionally about which of them is more like me. It's pretty weird. 

My Dad identifies as ESTJ type 3. We are totally different in personality, but look alike, both have clinical anxiety issues, and are very empathetic, distractable, inefficient, silly, playful, slightly gluttonous sweets lovers and poor estimators who always run late. I was always his favorite child and we shared a special bond. The same is true with my very different and extroverted brother who is MBTI unknown, I'd guess an ESTP or ESFP, E type 7. 

My dad and brother bring out my playful, lighthearted, side and the three of us are less judgmental, task-oriented and demanding than my sister and mom. My mom and sister often make me feel like rebelling or withdrawing. My brother and father usually make me feel like joining in and playing. The whole family is pretty lovey-dovey, touchy-feely though. 

My husband is a probable INTJ, type 5. He can't be bothered to take the tests. He is incredibly smart, decisive, efficient, knowledgable and driven, but he can be impatient, dismissive, grouchy and a bit of a slob. He is typically in the corner, focused and thinking about his work, though he is a great teacher and speaker, and probably the more extroverted of our pair. We share curiosity and intellectualism with an iconoclastic streak and have lively discussions and debates. As two introverts having spent so much time together from such a young age, we have deep, intuitive connection at this point. When we are together, other people can feel excluded from our private world and language. He is affectionate and loving without crowding me or constraining my independence. He is also incredibly loyal, devoted and supportive and has always dropped everything else if I really needed him. I am overwhelming grateful that we happened to meet. 

Hmm.... I'm not sure quite why I turned this into a personal history blog but, there it is.


----------



## kdamazon

I'm glad to hear that you had a lovely, relaxing time, sittapygmaea!  I did too! Wilmington, NC is a lovely, slow-paced area with beautiful architecture and kind people. A week away was just the right amount of time to be away. Recharged my batteries perfectly and now I'm back to it (work and life and such).

I'm so terribly sorry to hear about your brother. Alcoholism is such a terrible thing. Living with my ex (who was an alcoholic) for 22 years really showed me how damaging this can be. It's been 5 years since I left him and he STILL won't admit to having a problem. Very typical, I'm told. I do hope things work out for your brother.


----------



## sittapygmaea

Good to see your 'face' around here again @kdamazon, refreshed and relaxed after your time away. Any new musical performances on your radar for this fall?

The situation with my brother is terribly confusing. It is very clear that he drinks more than he should, and is prone to regular binging. Is he an alcoholic? I don't know. I don't have the first hand experience to say because he lives far away, is quite compartmentalized and non-disclosive about his activities, and doesn't drink much around the family. I have never directly observed problematic behavior.

His fiance first told my mother that he was, but now she has backed off the claim and generally gone quiet. My brother has talked to us obliquely about how they were having "problems" but has never mentioned drinking. Did she overreact? Or is she now avoiding something uncomfortable? Or enabling? I wish I knew. It's hard to react appropriately when you don't have the facts. And I don't want to appear judgmental and pushy and send him into a defensive hidey-hole before I even have the whole story. 




kdamazon said:


> I'm glad to hear that you had a lovely, relaxing time, sittapygmaea!  I did too! Wilmington, NC is a lovely, slow-paced area with beautiful architecture and kind people. A week away was just the right amount of time to be away. Recharged my batteries perfectly and now I'm back to it (work and life and such).
> 
> I'm so terribly sorry to hear about your brother. Alcoholism is such a terrible thing. Living with my ex (who was an alcoholic) for 22 years really showed me how damaging this can be. It's been 5 years since I left him and he STILL won't admit to having a problem. Very typical, I'm told. I do hope things work out for your brother.


----------



## sittapygmaea

Hey, where'd everybody go?
@Lizabeth, you are unusually quiet today. hope you are busy with something fun! 

I'll be a bit quiet myself over the next few days; off to visit my sister and her three little ones. it's always like walking into a tornado there.


----------



## FePa

Liz was working then out for the night conquering the world

I'm about to leave for the day.
Some appointments then school the whole afternoon

Good night beauty


----------



## sittapygmaea

Goodnight, @FePa. 

Well, goodnight for me, good morning to you. That seems fitting, as you and @Lizabeth hardly seem to need rest. No telling what wonders you will uncover today; hopefully a lot of beauty and very little boredom :wink:


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> Hey, where'd everybody go?
> @Lizabeth, you are unusually quiet today. hope you are busy with something fun!
> 
> I'll be a bit quiet myself over the next few days; off to visit my sister and her three little ones. it's always like walking into a tornado there.





sittapygmaea said:


> Goodnight, @FePa.
> 
> Well, goodnight for me, good morning to you. That seems fitting, as you and @Lizabeth hardly seem to need rest. No telling what wonders you will uncover today; hopefully a lot of beauty and very little boredom :wink:


Sorry, Sitta. Feeps is right, I've been working hard. And sadly most of it was not very fun. But hopefully I'm coming out the other side now and I can slow down a bit. At least it wasn't boring. But i did relearn a lesson about not letting other people pull me out of my centre, making sure that I maintain my focus on what works best for me and my crazy ENFP style rather than what other people else think they need from me. Yep, it's boundaries time again!

And it may seem that I hardly rest, but trust me, I need lots of it. So I'm going to try to catch p today. PerC is part of my resting process right now, but there's a possibility that I might have to take a break even from here for a little bit. We'll see. No promises!


----------



## Lizabeth

kdamazon said:


> I'm glad to hear that you had a lovely, relaxing time, sittapygmaea!  I did too! Wilmington, NC is a lovely, slow-paced area with beautiful architecture and kind people. A week away was just the right amount of time to be away. Recharged my batteries perfectly and now I'm back to it (work and life and such).
> 
> I'm so terribly sorry to hear about your brother. Alcoholism is such a terrible thing. Living with my ex (who was an alcoholic) for 22 years really showed me how damaging this can be. It's been 5 years since I left him and he STILL won't admit to having a problem. Very typical, I'm told. I do hope things work out for your brother.


Hey KD! It's great to see you again. Gald to hear that your vacation was recharging. 

I wonder where @walking tourist is these days? Maybe she's on a big tour? If you're around, come say hi to us, love!

And @mimesis and @willow the wisp, whatup?


----------



## will-o'-wisp

Lizabeth said:


> Hey KD! It's great to see you again. Gald to hear that your vacation was recharging.
> 
> I wonder where @_walking tourist_ is these days? Maybe she's on a big tour? If you're around, come say hi to us, love!
> 
> And @_mimesis_ and @_willow the wisp_, whatup?


I'm busy busy, dancing, getting distracted, playing games, doing all the things I shouldn't be.....again!
My focus lasted approximately 2 weeks 
However, I'm confident I can get it back...

...right after this bottle of wine *pop*


----------



## Lizabeth

willow the wisp said:


> I'm busy busy, dancing, getting distracted, playing games, doing all the things I shouldn't be.....again!
> My focus lasted approximately 2 weeks
> However, I'm confident I can get it back...
> 
> ...right after this bottle of wine *pop*


lol -- the whole bottle? :shocked::tongue:

I know how that is, girl! But it sounds like you've been good/fun busy (dancing? awesome! what kind of dance?) so I wouldn't say that it's all the things you shouldn't be doing. Good luck with hunting down that focus.


----------



## will-o'-wisp

Lizabeth said:


> lol -- the whole bottle? :shocked::tongue:
> 
> I know how that is, girl! But it sounds like you've been good/fun busy (dancing? awesome! what kind of dance?) so I wouldn't say that it's all the things you shouldn't be doing. Good luck with hunting down that focus.


Share the bottle with me, why don't you?

Why, twerking of course!!


----------



## Lizabeth

willow the wisp said:


> Share the bottle with me, why don't you?
> 
> Why, twerking of course!!


----------



## will-o'-wisp

Lizabeth said:


>


----------



## will-o'-wisp

where are you @mimesis ? And, don't say at work because that just isn't a good enough excuse

He's going to arrive to find us plastered, twerking and laughing. Maybe we should start on the music..... @Lizabeth ?






Yep, it's _still _stuck in my head after what? 3 days or something


----------



## Lizabeth

Lizabeth said:


>





willow the wisp said:


>


Ha! Try playing that song while my gif is running -- for some reason I find the combination to be hilarious :tongue:

Okay, i gotta go to work. Laters Gen X babes!


----------



## FePa

What do you all work with? 
Did you study for it ?
Are you fulfilled?


----------



## Glenda Gnome Starr

Wandering the earth. Nearly fell off the edge. It was a bit scary to look over the edge of the earth. There were fire breathing dragons and all sorts of monsters. They were all weeping because they said that no one told their stories any more. They had been consigned to being invisible and being unloved because they were all perched on a little ledge by the edge of the earth. It didn't even cheer them up when I let them know that the ledge by the edge sounded like a restaurant name and that, if they would just come back, they could make nice meals because they wouldn't even need a stove. The fire breathing dragon could make the food cooked. 
They just kept weeping and I told them that they were loved. I hugged all but the fire breathing dragon because I didn't want to get singed and he didn't know how to hold his fire.
Here I am, back from nearly going over the edge onto the ledge...
(Alas, what I was "really" doing isn't anywhere near that entertaining, lol)



Lizabeth said:


> Hey KD! It's great to see you again. Gald to hear that your vacation was recharging.
> 
> I wonder where @_walking tourist_ is these days? Maybe she's on a big tour? If you're around, come say hi to us, love!
> 
> And @_mimesis_ and @_willow the wisp_, whatup?


----------



## mimesis

Lizabeth said:


> Hey KD! It's great to see you again. Gald to hear that your vacation was recharging.
> 
> I wonder where @_walking tourist_ is these days? Maybe she's on a big tour? If you're around, come say hi to us, love!
> 
> And @_mimesis_ and @_willow the wisp_, whatup?





willow the wisp said:


> where are you @_mimesis_ ? And, don't say at work because that just isn't a good enough excuse
> 
> He's going to arrive to find us plastered, twerking and laughing. Maybe we should start on the music..... @_Lizabeth_ ?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Yep, it's _still _stuck in my head after what? 3 days or something


Lol, I'm just lurking on you ladies. Just pretend I'm not here. Chin chin!


----------



## Lizabeth

Oops! 

*cleans up her post*

Just realized I posted this to the wrong thread


----------



## mimesis

Lizabeth said:


> Oops!
> 
> *cleans up her post*
> 
> Just realized I posted this to the wrong thread


Lol, yeah that did cross my mind.


----------



## Lizabeth

walking tourist said:


> Wandering the earth. Nearly fell off the edge. It was a bit scary to look over the edge of the earth. There were fire breathing dragons and all sorts of monsters. They were all weeping because they said that no one told their stories any more. They had been consigned to being invisible and being unloved because they were all perched on a little ledge by the edge of the earth. It didn't even cheer them up when I let them know that the ledge by the edge sounded like a restaurant name and that, if they would just come back, they could make nice meals because they wouldn't even need a stove. The fire breathing dragon could make the food cooked.
> They just kept weeping and I told them that they were loved. I hugged all but the fire breathing dragon because I didn't want to get singed and he didn't know how to hold his fire.
> Here I am, back from nearly going over the edge onto the ledge...
> (Alas, what I was "really" doing isn't anywhere near that entertaining, lol)


WT, are you sure you're not a dreamer? 

Looking forward to playing mafia with you, by the way!


----------



## Glenda Gnome Starr

When I did the test with my church group, it came out "exfp," lol.
I love my real world that I can touch and smell and dance in but I am happy with the world of my imaginations, too.
Playing mafia with you will be fun!



Lizabeth said:


> WT, are you sure you're not a dreamer?
> 
> Looking forward to playing mafia with you, by the way!


----------



## mimesis

Lizabeth said:


> Oops!
> 
> *cleans up her post*
> 
> Just realized I posted this to the wrong thread


So nice of you to say, though!

:sad: I've been searching allover PerC to find the more appropriate thread. Even searched the PerC underworld of Spam, like Orpheus looking for Euydice. 










Alas...to no avail. So I guess it was such a moment of Splendor in the Grass 






:wink:roud:


----------



## Endless Rainbows

Hey guys! *pops in and looks around* Always wonderful reading everyone's hilarious posts. 



FePa said:


> What do you all work with?
> Did you study for it ?
> Are you fulfilled?


I'm currently going back to school so I can apply for a Masters as a Physician's Assistant. I work as an EMT to fulfill clinical hours and had to take a class and take the National Exam for it.

I am very fulfilled. More fulfilled than I've been in years when I was "finding my calling" in a bunch of different office jobs. Suffice it to say, I wasn't very fulfilled in any of those jobs.


----------



## Lizabeth

mimesis said:


> So nice of you to say, though!
> 
> :sad: I've been searching allover PerC to find the more appropriate thread. Even searched the PerC underworld of Spam, like Orpheus looking for Euydice.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Alas...to no avail. So I guess it was such a moment of Splendor in the Grass
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :wink:roud:


Sorry, sweetie. It's gone with the wind!


----------



## Lizabeth

Endless Rainbows said:


> Hey guys! *pops in and looks around* Always wonderful reading everyone's hilarious posts.
> 
> 
> 
> I'm currently going back to school so I can apply for a Masters as a Physician's Assistant. I work as an EMT to fulfill clinical hours and had to take a class and take the National Exam for it.
> 
> I am very fulfilled. More fulfilled than I've been in years when I was "finding my calling" in a bunch of different office jobs. Suffice it to say, I wasn't very fulfilled in any of those jobs.


That's cool, Endless. Follow your dreams!!!!


----------



## Endless Rainbows

Lizabeth said:


> That's cool, Endless. Follow your dreams!!!!


Thank you!! And "Gone With the Wind" is one of my favorite movies!

"After all . . . tomorrow is another day!" *cue crescendo'ing theme music*


----------



## mimesis

Lizabeth said:


> Sorry, sweetie. It's gone with the wind!


 ow...I see :crying:. 



Mimesis Daydreaming... said:


> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> For Tapatalk users


----------



## Glenda Gnome Starr

So happy for you.
I understand about being unfulfilled in office jobs. For me, they were a living nightmare...



Endless Rainbows said:


> Hey guys! *pops in and looks around* Always wonderful reading everyone's hilarious posts.
> 
> 
> 
> I'm currently going back to school so I can apply for a Masters as a Physician's Assistant. I work as an EMT to fulfill clinical hours and had to take a class and take the National Exam for it.
> 
> I am very fulfilled. More fulfilled than I've been in years when I was "finding my calling" in a bunch of different office jobs. Suffice it to say, I wasn't very fulfilled in any of those jobs.


----------



## sittapygmaea

hi guys! i'm back from my trip. it was family week here in sitta-world. first a weekend with my parents, then a week with my sister, than a day with my brother. it's really nice to be back home. my introvert antennae are twitching and jerking. time to be entombed within my quiet cave. 

looks like it was somewhat quiet around here while i was gone. I don't know if I should be pleased or disappointed


----------



## Lizabeth

sittapygmaea said:


> hi guys! i'm back from my trip. it was family week here in sitta-world. first a weekend with my parents, then a week with my sister, than a day with my brother. it's really nice to be back home. my introvert antennae are twitching and jerking. time to be entombed within my quiet cave.
> 
> looks like it was somewhat quiet around here while i was gone. I don't know if I should be pleased or disappointed


Hey Sitta! Welcome back. 

Oh dear, you seem to have arrived at a time when the chatty ENFPs are in retreat, though. Venture's still on his break it seems and Feeps and I have both been talking about the need to withdraw for some introvert time. My social-glutton side is telling me NOOOOOOO don't go, but my inner wisdom is telling me that this unfocusedness, this uncentredness that I'm feeling right now means that I need to go inwards for a little while to recenter myself. 

But maybe you and the other introverts can hold down the fort while we're away. And you still have @Endless Rainbows, our resident ENFJ. Feeps will be off for a while, and I'm not sure when Venture will be back, but I'm thinking I'll be back in a few days or so. 

*hugs Sitta and pours her some tea*


----------



## Endless Rainbows

Happy to hear your visit went well with family, @sittapygmaea.

Yes. I won't be on PerC as often as I have been in the past month as I'm seriously focusing on getting some things straightened out in real life. I'll definitely be popping in here and there though! The end of the year is fast approaching and holidays and all that jazz.


----------



## sittapygmaea

@Lizabeth and @Endless Rainbows Yes, the attention-scattering embrace of PerC can be a double-edged sword, can it not? The chatty solicitations of the online forums can hit the sweet spot for _both_ introverts and extroverts. That's more than a little dangerous!! Occasionally I feel like a junkie searching for her next fix :tongue: I hope you extroverts find peace and focus in your inward journeys, without too much energetic twitching like a third grader banished to the corner! Love and warm hugs to all. :kitteh:


----------



## Glenda Gnome Starr

Will be back after the Mafia game is over. Oh my.


----------



## Glenda Gnome Starr

I died in a river of tears. Broken hearted, I wept inconsolably and then realized that my life would never be anything but pain and the anxiety of knowing that the enemy was always after me. I swallowed my tears and committed suicide.
Thus, the confused newbie met her tragic fate in the land of Mafia.
But Walking Tourist lives.
At least, outside of Mafia Land.


----------



## Lizabeth

walking tourist said:


> I died in a river of tears. Broken hearted, I wept inconsolably and then realized that my life would never be anything but pain and the anxiety of knowing that the enemy was always after me. I swallowed my tears and committed suicide.
> Thus, the confused newbie met her tragic fate in the land of Mafia.
> But Walking Tourist lives.
> At least, outside of Mafia Land.


lol Tourist! Glad to see that you live even though you died. 

I was crazy enough to enter another game of mafia. But then I died after one day in the one we were i together. At least you made it to almost the end!


----------



## Glenda Gnome Starr

Oh I know. There is a certain madness to playing mafia. I was surprised by how long I lasted, considering how ineptly I was playing, especially after completely forgetting to play on the first day!
What a bizarre experience that was, lol!!!




Lizabeth said:


> lol Tourist! Glad to see that you live even though you died.
> 
> I was crazy enough to enter another game of mafia. But then I died after one day in the one we were i together. At least you made it to almost the end!


----------



## will-o'-wisp

*Jumps into the room*

How is everyone?


----------



## Glenda Gnome Starr

Yay!!!!!
Great!
I put the garden to bed yesterday when we had one of those rare warm November days. Next week, I'm planting bulbs, in my friend's garden and also in my own. Then I cover the gardens with leaves and they will go dormant. 
My Big Media Job (otherwise known as low paid freelance journalism) keeps my busy and out of mischief, although, for sure, it doesn't make me rich. But I got paid enough so that I could take a painting to the framer.
View attachment 226506

Well, this is the picture. Unfortunately, I can't make it any bigger than a thumbnail.
The framer called me "Van Gogh," which I liked.
What is new with all of you? 
w.t.




willow the wisp said:


> *Jumps into the room*
> 
> How is everyone?


----------



## will-o'-wisp

walking tourist said:


> Yay!!!!!
> Great!
> I put the garden to bed yesterday when we had one of those rare warm November days. Next week, I'm planting bulbs, in my friend's garden and also in my own. Then I cover the gardens with leaves and they will go dormant.
> My Big Media Job (otherwise known as low paid freelance journalism) keeps my busy and out of mischief, although, for sure, it doesn't make me rich. But I got paid enough so that I could take a painting to the framer.
> View attachment 226506
> 
> Well, this is the picture. Unfortunately, I can't make it any bigger than a thumbnail.
> The framer called me "Van Gogh," which I liked.
> What is new with all of you?
> w.t.


Aw, the attachment won't work for me. What's it of?

I've been busy preparing stuff for work and thinking about progressing a personal project which I'm excited about. Thinking too about making a load of Christmas goodies....getting the glue and the glitter out and making a huge mess like I'm back at preschool!


----------



## Glenda Gnome Starr

Here we go. My painting. It seems to be working now. That was the attachment that failed to work.


----------



## Glenda Gnome Starr

It's a painting. I was able to post the painting in the above post.
Hmm, I said post two times in one sentence, lol.
Glue and glitter and Christmas goodies.
What fun!
I think that I will indulge, too!
(I am easily suggestible, lol.)



willow the wisp said:


> Aw, the attachment won't work for me. What's it of?
> 
> I've been busy preparing stuff for work and thinking about progressing a personal project which I'm excited about. Thinking too about making a load of Christmas goodies....getting the glue and the glitter out and making a huge mess like I'm back at preschool!


----------



## will-o'-wisp

walking tourist said:


> It's a painting. I was able to post the painting in the above post.
> Hmm, I said post two times in one sentence, lol.
> Glue and glitter and Christmas goodies.
> What fun!
> I think that I will indulge, too!
> (I am easily suggestible, lol.)


Great painting! Do you like still life most?

You know your post - the post in which you used the word 'post' twice? Well, I just beat that with three


----------



## ThomThom1

walking tourist said:


> Here we go. My painting. It seems to be working now. That was the attachment that failed to work.
> 
> View attachment 226538


Love your painting!!!


----------



## ThomThom1

My NF friends, please help me. For many years, I've tested my personality many times. It always came up ENFP. Someone mentioned that I needed to test my cognitive functions and I did. 

Here are my results. 
It says that I am ENFJ but while the description is so right, it's not in other ways. Now I'm really confused. The 2 ENFJs that I know are both men, very good friends, but they are so much more of an energetic selfless people than I could ever be. I wear out, cocoon myself away and next to them, I'm not very popular. They know everyone it seems. If they post on Facebook, they have 100+ likes. If I post, I Might have 50 at the most. I'm definitely quieter than they are depending on the company I'm around. And honestly, I can't keep up. They are older than me but so much more energetic with people and rarely need quiet time to themselves. It's like they are "on" all the time. Is something wrong with me or am I the ENFP I've always thought I was?

Cognitive ProcessLevel of Development 
(Preference, Skill and Frequency of Use)

extraverted Feeling (Fe) ******* (44)
excellent use
introverted Intuiting (Ni) ****** (43.1)
excellent use
introverted Feeling (Fi) ******** (38.1)
excellent use
extraverted Intuiting (Ne) ***** (31.1)
good use
extraverted Sensing (Se)****** (27.7)
average use
introverted Thinking (Ti) ****** (19.7)
limited use
extraverted Thinking (Te)****** (18.5)
limited use
introverted Sensing (Si) ******* (18.4)
limited use


----------



## Lizabeth

willow the wisp said:


> *Jumps into the room*
> 
> How is everyone?


willlowwwwwwwww!

*tackle hugs willow* 

I missed you girl! Where ya been? 

I got sucked into another mafia game by the way...this would have been a good one for you -- it's a buddy game where only the newbies communicate in thread and are paired with veteran buddies who mentor them from behind the scenes. It's fun so far!


----------



## Lizabeth

ThomThom1 said:


> My NF friends, please help me. For many years, I've tested my personality many times. It always came up ENFP. Someone mentioned that I needed to test my cognitive functions and I did.
> 
> Here are my results.
> It says that I am ENFJ but while the description is so right, it's not in other ways. Now I'm really confused. The 2 ENFJs that I know are both men, very good friends, but they are so much more of an energetic selfless people than I could ever be. I wear out, cocoon myself away and next to them, I'm not very popular. They know everyone it seems. If they post on Facebook, they have 100+ likes. If I post, I Might have 50 at the most. I'm definitely quieter than they are depending on the company I'm around. And honestly, I can't keep up. They are older than me but so much more energetic with people and rarely need quiet time to themselves. It's like they are "on" all the time. Is something wrong with me or am I the ENFP I've always thought I was?
> 
> Cognitive ProcessLevel of Development
> (Preference, Skill and Frequency of Use)
> 
> extraverted Feeling (Fe) ******* (44)
> excellent use
> introverted Intuiting (Ni) ****** (43.1)
> excellent use
> introverted Feeling (Fi) ******** (38.1)
> excellent use
> extraverted Intuiting (Ne) ***** (31.1)
> good use
> extraverted Sensing (Se)****** (27.7)
> average use
> introverted Thinking (Ti) ****** (19.7)
> limited use
> extraverted Thinking (Te)****** (18.5)
> limited use
> introverted Sensing (Si) ******* (18.4)
> limited use


Nooooooo! You're one of us! *clings to ThomThom1 possessively*

I don't really get those cognitive functions tests. The results never make sense for me in terms of how I see myself actually making use of things. 

The only thing I can tell you is that you seem/feel very ENFP to me. What are the things that you're seeing in the description of ENFJ that fits you? What things do you see that don't?


----------



## Lizabeth

walking tourist said:


> Here we go. My painting. It seems to be working now. That was the attachment that failed to work.
> 
> View attachment 226538


That's beautiful, Walker! A poet and an artist. I'm jealous!


----------



## ThomThom1

Lizabeth said:


> Nooooooo! You're one of us! *clings to ThomThom1 possessively*
> 
> I don't really get those cognitive functions tests. The results never make sense for me in terms of how I see myself actually making use of things.
> 
> The only thing I can tell you is that you seem/feel very ENFP to me. What are the things that you're seeing in the description of ENFJ that fits you? What things do you see that don't?


I'm organized in the house on a normal basis in my kitchen, but I'm not especially organized and structured. Certainly not like Hubs. 

I'm a bit undisciplined. I often drop commitments because I become overwhelmed with too many projects.

I place value on things by how much energy it's going to cost me. I only have so much to give. So, I give to my family what I can and maybe a friend, if they truly truly need me but it's not all the time. I require a lot of down time. 

I try to be there for others but only my family gets my devotion. I don't stay in touch with all my acquaintances. I suffer with out of sight, out of mind syndrome. 

I am very adventurous. I love edgy things. Skydiving, white water rafting, motorcycling, rock climbing, etc. fun fun fun. But it's not like that all the time. 

I have been called motherly at my former job but I think it's because I was a gen x among a bunch of gen y. 

That's just a few.


----------



## ThomThom1

There is a lot about ENFJ that rings true. But ENFP has always rang true as well. There has to be a big overlap for these two. My first CF test was Fe - Ne - Fi - Se - Te - Ni - Si - Ti

I took two tests with different websites. I don't understand the functions well enough to know the difference between the tests but it all has me shaken to the core. It's like having everything you believed in shift upside down. Twilight zone. I've got to do more research, research I thought I had already thoroughly investigated over and over again. 

Bossy - apparently yes, I can be. But it's in a gentle cooperative way, not like Hubs. 

Motherly - I lost a dear friend that I loved because I criticized her current druggy boyfriend. I empathized with her about his incarceration again, but I overstepped my bounds by asking her very pointed questions to make her think. When I asked her, "what are you going to do if your daughter is with him the next time he gets caught and they take her away from you?", I knew I had messed up. But some times i just want to shake these gen y ers and make them see the truth. 

Leader - oh, crap! If no one is at the helm, I will step in and take a leadership role. I do end up leading whether I want to or not. I'm quite happy to have a leader but I'm never truly a follower. I've always held myself back. I will not blindly follow orders unless I also agree with them. 

Creative - But if it's fun, I'm there. Let's go have an adventure together. I recently helped 2 ladies organize and execute a family reunion. I was full of ideas. It was so much fun to come up with it all. But when it was time to shop, we were chasing rabbits all over the store. How did we pull it all together in 2 weeks time? I don't know but we did and it was a hit. 

Organized - I love organization. Everything in its place. In theory. But it rarely stays there. It finds its way to another location where it hides out, waiting.

Temper - yes, I have a bad temper. I'm a fit throwing, crying, animated, screaming lunatic when I'm mad. I cannot shut it off easily. It takes a long time to get mad but look out! I can make Hubs take a seat and listen. 

If you see my signature, you read my motto. I'm trying hard to make sure I do that.


----------



## will-o'-wisp

ThomThom1 said:


> My NF friends, please help me. For many years, I've tested my personality many times. It always came up ENFP. Someone mentioned that I needed to test my cognitive functions and I did.
> 
> Here are my results.
> It says that I am ENFJ but while the description is so right, it's not in other ways. Now I'm really confused. The 2 ENFJs that I know are both men, very good friends, but they are so much more of an energetic selfless people than I could ever be. I wear out, cocoon myself away and next to them, I'm not very popular. They know everyone it seems. If they post on Facebook, they have 100+ likes. If I post, I Might have 50 at the most. I'm definitely quieter than they are depending on the company I'm around. And honestly, I can't keep up. They are older than me but so much more energetic with people and rarely need quiet time to themselves. It's like they are "on" all the time. Is something wrong with me or am I the ENFP I've always thought I was?
> 
> Cognitive ProcessLevel of Development
> (Preference, Skill and Frequency of Use)
> 
> extraverted Feeling (Fe) ******* (44)
> excellent use
> introverted Intuiting (Ni) ****** (43.1)
> excellent use
> introverted Feeling (Fi) ******** (38.1)
> excellent use
> extraverted Intuiting (Ne) ***** (31.1)
> good use
> extraverted Sensing (Se)****** (27.7)
> average use
> introverted Thinking (Ti) ****** (19.7)
> limited use
> extraverted Thinking (Te)****** (18.5)
> limited use
> introverted Sensing (Si) ******* (18.4)
> limited use


Yeah, I don't think the tests are always accurate. Even the cognitive function tests can come up with some weird results! I think the only way is to get your most likely 2 or 3 types, compare and analyse the cognitive functions and stacking within them until you've worked it out.
I've been doing this for almost a month and I have days where I think I'm done and I know, and then the next day I'll read some new profile or online thread and I'm asking questions again! 
Don't expect to come to any swift conclusions if you have significant Ne! Lol

Edit: Having said that, I just took a different cognitive functions test using differently worded questions and got almost identical results to last time. Maybe try a few!



Lizabeth said:


> willlowwwwwwwww!
> 
> *tackle hugs willow*
> 
> I missed you girl! Where ya been?
> 
> I got sucked into another mafia game by the way...this would have been a good one for you -- it's a buddy game where only the newbies communicate in thread and are paired with veteran buddies who mentor them from behind the scenes. It's fun so far!


Hi! 
*hug/kiss confusion*
How have you been? That mafia game sounds like just the thing. Intro with a mentor!
You never know, I might just jump in at the deep end sometime and see what happens. 

Do I get to slaughter people and mow them down with a sub machine gun?


----------



## yentipeee

willow the wisp said:


> *Jumps into the room*
> 
> How is everyone?



I like that -- a Disney-like drop to the middle of the room in a plume of stardust.:tongue:


----------



## will-o'-wisp

yentipeee said:


> I like that -- a Disney-like drop to the middle of the room in a plume of stardust.:tongue:


Disney? That's me all over


----------



## yentipeee

willow the wisp said:


> Disney? That's me all over



Yes I noticed, must be a Ne thing. I'm the one that dropped in the middle of your chatroom the other day


----------



## will-o'-wisp

yentipeee said:


> Yes I noticed, must be a Ne thing. I'm the one that dropped in the middle of your chatroom the other day


Yes I remember. Apparently that thread was against the rules and has been removed so I can't lure people in any more.


----------



## Glenda Gnome Starr

Thank you, @willow the wisp. I love still life but I also love landscape and people and virtually anything that can be painted. lol.
And, speaking about post. If it were horse racing season, I could post my post post haste, while watching the post parade.
Hee hee four times!
You're up!



willow the wisp said:


> Great painting! Do you like still life most?
> 
> You know your post - the post in which you used the word 'post' twice? Well, I just beat that with three


----------



## Glenda Gnome Starr

Thank you, @Lizabeth. Hugs.



Lizabeth said:


> That's beautiful, Walker! A poet and an artist. I'm jealous!


----------



## Glenda Gnome Starr

Thank you, @ThomThom!.
w.t.



ThomThom1 said:


> Love your painting!!!


----------



## Glenda Gnome Starr

I just did that cognitive functions test because I was wondering if I was mistyped. Apparently not. I am an esfp, although, according to these results, I could also be isfp or enfp. My dominant function is Se but I have far more Ne than most ESFPs. Thus, if I get the right encouragement, the Ne comes out to play, lol.
Here we go:

*Cognitive Process**Level of Development (Preference, Skill and Frequency of Use)*extraverted Sensing (Se) ********************************************** (46)
excellent useintroverted Sensing (Si) **************** (16.2)
limited useextraverted Intuiting (Ne) ************************************* (37.6)
excellent useintroverted Intuiting (Ni) ******************************** (32.5)
good useextraverted Thinking (Te) ******************** (20.2)
limited useintroverted Thinking (Ti) *********************** (23.8)
limited useextraverted Feeling (Fe) **************************** (28.5)
average useintroverted Feeling (Fi) ********************************** (34.8)
good use
*Summary Analysis of Profile*

By focusing on the strongest configuration of cognitive processes, your pattern of responses most closely matches individuals of this type: *ESFP

*


ThomThom1 said:


> My NF friends, please help me. For many years, I've tested my personality many times. It always came up ENFP. Someone mentioned that I needed to test my cognitive functions and I did.
> 
> Here are my results.
> It says that I am ENFJ but while the description is so right, it's not in other ways. Now I'm really confused. The 2 ENFJs that I know are both men, very good friends, but they are so much more of an energetic selfless people than I could ever be. I wear out, cocoon myself away and next to them, I'm not very popular. They know everyone it seems. If they post on Facebook, they have 100+ likes. If I post, I Might have 50 at the most. I'm definitely quieter than they are depending on the company I'm around. And honestly, I can't keep up. They are older than me but so much more energetic with people and rarely need quiet time to themselves. It's like they are "on" all the time. Is something wrong with me or am I the ENFP I've always thought I was?
> 
> Cognitive ProcessLevel of Development
> (Preference, Skill and Frequency of Use)
> 
> extraverted Feeling (Fe) ******* (44)
> excellent use
> introverted Intuiting (Ni) ****** (43.1)
> excellent use
> introverted Feeling (Fi) ******** (38.1)
> excellent use
> extraverted Intuiting (Ne) ***** (31.1)
> good use
> extraverted Sensing (Se)****** (27.7)
> average use
> introverted Thinking (Ti) ****** (19.7)
> limited use
> extraverted Thinking (Te)****** (18.5)
> limited use
> introverted Sensing (Si) ******* (18.4)
> limited use


----------



## will-o'-wisp

@walking tourist Okay, well in this post I want to say that although your post had the word 'post' in it four times, I can beat that post by using the word 'post' in my post, not only five times but six.
I like painting too, still life is okay if it's a nude! @mimesis ? I need a subject!


----------



## mimesis

willow the wisp said:


> @walking tourist Okay, well in this post I want to say that although your post had the word 'post' in it four times, I can beat that post by using the word 'post' in my post, not only five times but six.
> I like painting too, still life is okay if it's a nude! @mimesis ? I need a subject!


Maybe, if you promise not to post it


----------



## ThomThom1

walking tourist said:


> I just did that cognitive functions test because I was wondering if I was mistyped. Apparently not. I am an esfp, although, according to these results, I could also be isfp or enfp. My dominant function is Se but I have far more Ne than most ESFPs. Thus, if I get the right encouragement, the Ne comes out to play, lol.
> Here we go:
> 
> *Cognitive Process**Level of Development (Preference, Skill and Frequency of Use)*extraverted Sensing (Se) ********************************************** (46)
> excellent useintroverted Sensing (Si) **************** (16.2)
> limited useextraverted Intuiting (Ne) ************************************* (37.6)
> excellent useintroverted Intuiting (Ni) ******************************** (32.5)
> good useextraverted Thinking (Te) ******************** (20.2)
> limited useintroverted Thinking (Ti) *********************** (23.8)
> limited useextraverted Feeling (Fe) **************************** (28.5)
> average useintroverted Feeling (Fi) ********************************** (34.8)
> good use
> *Summary Analysis of Profile*
> 
> By focusing on the strongest configuration of cognitive processes, your pattern of responses most closely matches individuals of this type: *ESFP
> 
> *


I'm glad you've found confirmation. I'm still on the fence. My Ne and Fe is neck and neck depending on the test I take. I've taken three so far. All with different results of functions but same analysis of ENFJ. I'm trying to come to terms with this but it's really had me rethinking all the other personalities in my life. Now I'm wondering if I've mistyped Hubs too. His Cognitive Functions say most likely ESTJ, ENTJ being secondary. So. It's like having to learn it all over again. In socionics however, it consistently comes out ENFp. 
I have read that ENFJ has a split personality. One kind can appear heavily as ENFP, being a more laid back version and the other is more rigid and judging. I suppose it's easier to digest this info. How can a judger act like a Perceiver? I don't understand it fully.


----------



## Lizabeth

Hey Gen Xers! Sorry I've been away so long. Mafia was crazy. The best of times and th worst of times *sigh*

But anyway, I died, so now I get to come back to life. How are you all doing? 



walking tourist said:


> I just did that cognitive functions test because I was wondering if I was mistyped. Apparently not. I am an esfp, although, according to these results, I could also be isfp or enfp. My dominant function is Se but I have far more Ne than most ESFPs. Thus, if I get the right encouragement, the Ne comes out to play, lol.
> Here we go:
> 
> *Cognitive Process**Level of Development (Preference, Skill and Frequency of Use)*extraverted Sensing (Se) ********************************************** (46)
> excellent useintroverted Sensing (Si) **************** (16.2)
> limited useextraverted Intuiting (Ne) ************************************* (37.6)
> excellent useintroverted Intuiting (Ni) ******************************** (32.5)
> good useextraverted Thinking (Te) ******************** (20.2)
> limited useintroverted Thinking (Ti) *********************** (23.8)
> limited useextraverted Feeling (Fe) **************************** (28.5)
> average useintroverted Feeling (Fi) ********************************** (34.8)
> good use
> *Summary Analysis of Profile*
> 
> By focusing on the strongest configuration of cognitive processes, your pattern of responses most closely matches individuals of this type: *ESFP
> 
> *


I've always thought that you had much Ne Walker. Never met an ESFP as poetic as you! 




willow the wisp said:


> @walking tourist Okay, well in this post I want to say that although your post had the word 'post' in it four times, I can beat that post by using the word 'post' in my post, not only five times but six.
> I like painting too, still life is okay if it's a nude! @mimesis ? I need a subject!


Ummm....I'll second that motion. Just make sure you get his good side! 


mimesis said:


> Maybe, if you promise not to post it


Umm...no. I don't agree to that. It must be shared! 

How about a compromise -- she gets an email signup list and we can all request the resulting product? 



ThomThom1 said:


> I'm glad you've found confirmation. I'm still on the fence. My Ne and Fe is neck and neck depending on the test I take. I've taken three so far. All with different results of functions but same analysis of ENFJ. I'm trying to come to terms with this but it's really had me rethinking all the other personalities in my life. Now I'm wondering if I've mistyped Hubs too. His Cognitive Functions say most likely ESTJ, ENTJ being secondary. So. It's like having to learn it all over again. In socionics however, it consistently comes out ENFp.
> I have read that ENFJ has a split personality. One kind can appear heavily as ENFP, being a more laid back version and the other is more rigid and judging. I suppose it's easier to digest this info. How can a judger act like a Perceiver? I don't understand it fully.


Hmmm....IDK, I could be wrong, but I still think that you're an ENFP based on my interactions with you, but I could be wrong. Those cognitive functions tests never really make sense for me. I say go with reading the descriptions and interact with the ENFPs and ENFJ's and see where you feel like you fit the best!


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## will-o'-wisp

Lizabeth said:


> Hey Gen Xers! Sorry I've been away so long. Mafia was crazy. The best of times and th worst of times *sigh*
> 
> But anyway, I died, so now I get to come back to life. How are you all doing?
> 
> 
> I've always thought that you had much Ne Walker. Never met an ESFP as poetic as you!
> 
> 
> 
> Ummm....I'll second that motion. Just make sure you get his good side!
> 
> 
> Umm...no. I don't agree to that. It must be shared!
> 
> How about a compromise -- she gets an email signup list and we can all request the resulting product?
> 
> 
> 
> Hmmm....IDK, I could be wrong, but I still think that you're an ENFP based on my interactions with you, but I could be wrong. Those cognitive functions tests never really make sense for me. I say go with reading the descriptions and interact with the ENFPs and ENFJ's and see where you feel like you fit the best!


Hooray! You've risen again!

I would show the work of art, but it has one dominating feature which really detracts from the rest of it. It's not a balanced piece!


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## Lizabeth

willow the wisp said:


> Hooray! You've risen again!
> 
> I would show the work of art, but it has one dominating feature which really detracts from the rest of it. It's not a balanced piece!


I wouldn't call that a detraction... :wink:


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## will-o'-wisp

Lizabeth said:


> I wouldn't call that a detraction... :wink:


Three legs though?.....most people would!


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