# Which is harder, emotional or physical affair?



## stiletto (Oct 26, 2013)

I'm sure both would be devastating but in your opinion, which is the worse of the two?
This is assuming your significant other is the one having the affair.

Poll is anonymous.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

What kind of affair?


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## nevermore (Oct 1, 2010)

I'm a man and I voted emotional. Particular if my partner is "choosing" this new lover over me, emotionally. Would not be surprised if that option won for both genders but it should be interesting to see...

But it's the dishonesty and mistrust that is heart breaking in both cases.


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## stiletto (Oct 26, 2013)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> What kind of affair?


Extramarital romantic/sexual relationship or outside a mutually agreed upon monogamous relationship.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

stiletto said:


> Extramarital romantic/sexual relationship or outside a mutually agreed upon monogamous relationship.


Yes, an emotional affair would be worse. I believe that physical affairs do not hold them an implication of greater jealously. A single night of sexual relations with a stranger may be less frightening than when someone has a developed an emotional bond with another.


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## Xtreme McStevester (Feb 17, 2015)

Yep, i believe that inner scars are harder to get over with...


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## aendern (Dec 28, 2013)

For whom? Who's having the affair and who's getting over it?


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## westlose (Oct 9, 2014)

I can fight against emotional affair, but not against physical ones...


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

emberfly said:


> For whom? Who's having the affair and who's getting over it?


You don't need context, the rest of us did it without it. :th_o:


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## TreeBob (Oct 11, 2008)

Actually, I answered it the other way. I was thinking it would be harder for ME to get over an emotional affair with another woman.


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## Romantic (Feb 13, 2015)

I was thinking it would be harder for ME to get over an emotional affair with another woman???


ali


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## kiwig0ld (Nov 7, 2010)

Physical. At that point it's all over.


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## Notus Asphodelus (Jan 20, 2015)

Emotional affair is hard for me to get over whereas physical is something I can do without.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

If emotional means "romantic" and also includes physical, then emotional. 

(Anyone watch that show The Affair?)


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## TheEpicPolymath (Dec 5, 2014)

Emotional.,.


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## Fragment (Feb 16, 2015)

I would say physical affair.
I don't think I mind people having feelings for things other than me but I wish they would control them. But when you're having physical affairs I am cautious of a) diseases from this extra person, b) if they were avoiding me I may be inclined towards having physical affairs with others due to the lack, which in itself opens room for diseases yes, c) I may as well have had a easy long-distance-relationship if -b- was the case so my time is wasted.

I'm quite polyamorous but if I am with someone and they are refusing me for someone else through something as petty as physical relationships then that's more likely to get to me. It's like some people with computers, when your computer works for other people but never when you get onto it so you decide to get a new one anyway.
I'm not sure why someone would be against emotional affairs, if you have several close friends, would you get angry because they spend time with other friends, too? Sure, if they don't love me as much anymore I may consider not being so close anymore, that might hurt, it wastes time and time is precious but we shouldn't live a lie either. If they love me so much they don't want to hurt me by telling then there must be some care still so I wouldn't just throw my weight around because it wasn't the perfect fairytale romance.


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## Apolo (Aug 15, 2014)

I think it takes far more energy and time to have an emotional affair with someone, than a physical. I could physical being, woah they are gorgeous, while in the grips of alcohol, and doing something stupid. But if emotions are involved, then that person let themselves get close to someone. They opened that door to allow the other person "in". 

To create an emotional connection with someone while already in a relationship I think is far more damning. You literally have to want to let them in, and want to seek it out for the emotions to get involved.

This is all assuming that both options ended in sex with someone outside of the monogamous relationship.


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## Mr.Venture (Dec 25, 2011)

I wonder if people's answers would change if we were talking about exclusive options here: closeness without sex vs. sex without closeness.

Would people have an easier or harder time picking between those options?


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