# What's your favorite instinctual variant?



## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

I'd say Sp/Sx is my favorite, but, overall, I like yin type (Sp/Sx, Sx/Sp and So/Sx) and am annoyed by yang type (Sx/So, So/Sp and Sp/So)


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## zallla (Oct 11, 2011)

Sorry but the first thing that came into my mind when I saw this was "what's your favorite thread type?" :laughing:

Anyway, instinctual variants actually matter much more than Enneagram types, at least I think so. I can easily see how very different stackings and preferations cause conflicts. There is information on the relationships between different type combinations (PerC article section could be the place) and it's very useful to read, it illustrates those problem areas and also the underlying importance of this question really well. The really useful thing is to honestly think about those things, think what makes you comfortable and what makes you annoyed. It doesn't matter what stacking people are and what stackings they prefer in others -- how they react to each other is what matters.

Personally, I find it easiest to understand other strong sp-users and easiest to be myself with them but I'm sure I'd become very bored if that would be all I got. As much I have passion to sp/sx issues, I want my company to offer me something I don't have. Someone exactly like me is not what I want. It's not even wise, it would less likely develop my weaknesses.

We easily end up in conflicts but I really envy my brother who I thought was 8 but is probably very counter-phobic sx/so 6 actually (with both 8 and 3 in his tritype). His social skills are just amazing, he seems so confident and motivated about connecting with people, with whoever he wants. He's highly charismatic and energetic and I really enjoy the energy he has. But, despite his strengths, I could never tolerate someone like him as a partner -- except perhaps to correct his sp issues if he allowed me xD But as someone to spend time with every now and then his type is one of my favorites.

Another favorite of mine is probably my SO's type. I don't know it for sure because he confuses me so much being clearly strong in both so and sp. Sometimes he's tendency to pay less attention to sx frustrates me very much but on the other hand I really love it that he focuses all of it on me. He's very good at taking care of sp issues which is _crucial_ for me to be able to share my life with him. But he is also so much more aware of so issues that I have something to become fascinated about. He knows stuff (politics and what's really going on below the surface, he's very aware of organizations and people's hidden motives etc.) that always amazes me because I just cannot see what he does. It's the same thing with my brother, actually. Strong so-users are such mysteries to me that it's kind of magical. Of course they piss me off at times, sometimes a LOT especially if they assume me to be like them, but still, there's this weird _"wow *eyes wide open*"_ feeling I have about so-users.


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## Kito (Jan 6, 2012)

I like sx. I feel like an sx-dom inside. My sp feels more learned than natural, almost something I wish I could be shed of.


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## noaydi (Feb 18, 2011)

Im sure of my type in all system and stuff, but instinctual variant is the things wich really bug me, I can't decide. I was thinking for a long time I was sp/sx, then sp/so, then finally sx/so or so/sx, lol, my brain suck.
The stuff wich bug myself is that, outside im not sure to understand instinct, I often suppose that instinct work somewhat like cog function : you can at time think the less evolved one is really strong (you value what you lack, common bias : Te last guy think he's fucking intelligent and a God like planner -I don't say it can't be the case-, etc).


Generally Im drawn to ppl which with I can have strong discussion about life, feeling, evolution of personnal life, ppl, passion about certain things like music and current state of movement we feel something toward (discussion often progress on the subject of what we feel toward our passion - not the passion itself. We are passionnated about the feeling of passion. This is fucking interesting and often the climax of the interaction). It's sometime really personnal stuff, sometime a kind of ego contest, sometime like a game of mentoring each other and all that can go crazy without really realizing it. 
Paradoxicaly I can't call this relation being "friend" : with time a kind of distance often appear, a kind of feeling of absurdity and lie, perhaps a paradoxical sense of knowing better a random guy in the street that the guy you just have an 3h discussion about the self with. A relationship pause is necessary before magnets recharge roud:. 
Ive never had many real friend in my life, perhaps 2 or 3... Being friend is more like having somewhat a different personnality wich is completing each other trait, and there is no need to have only "important and deep" discussion with he. All go wild, there is an instinctual understanding. Love/hate relationship moment possibly appear but no need to pause the relationship.
Since some years, I don't really give a fuck, Im far less withdrawn waiting for important relationship and Im much more versatile socially, but something always lack when engaging in simple discussion. Im in my elements when I go to techno party or stuff, I can speak to many guy but there is always the unpleasant feeling that, in reality, I don't give a fuck. Overraly this feeling have parasitized all part of my life anyway. I wait for the next big things wich will desynchronize my neurons :crazy:.


SO, all that make me thinks Ive sx second or dom. Soc, idk. Sp, idk. Based on that fact, I can say I really like interaction with Sx ppl (with a constraint of time), but strangely for simple friendship I would perhaps prefer another instinct (idk wich one). My "current best friend" appear perhaps so/sx or so/sp. These two type of interactions are quite vital for me, even if they are really rare since EVERYBODY FUCKING LIE :angry: and Im FUCKING ILLUMINATED :ninja:.


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## noaydi (Feb 18, 2011)

PS : what is yin/yan type ? Ive read a similar stuff at 16types.info...


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## noaydi (Feb 18, 2011)

I just realize my post is a far more accurate description of what I do in life and my focus than poor 6 description


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## The Scorched Earth (May 17, 2010)

What's the difference between yin and yang types?


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Well I like sx types. They have a spark that feels very satisfying to engage with socially.


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## MissyMaroon (Feb 24, 2010)

I don't know. I feel most comfortable with other SP types I suppose, Sx types are hit and miss, but I like them in an ideal sense, and So types don't get enough credit, I think. I've found many So types to be very fascinating and interesting to me because they seems to know so much about everything. I tend to conserve and focus my energy on a few things, and maybe I'll have a random spurt of looking lots of things up, but I feel like I don't have the energy or interest for it. It's not like I don't want to know so much about everything. I do; I just naturally don't feel a push to. So, for me, a knowledgeable So helps me fill in those gaps. It's almost as if their eyes are almost open to absorb what's out there in the world. They notice what I don't notice - little interactions between people and their meanings, random people on the street that I tune out, etc.


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## WOLFsanctuary (Sep 19, 2012)

SX/SP

Of course ;-)

By 4w3 SX/SP


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## Spades (Aug 31, 2011)

Although there is more mutual understanding with fellow Sp/Sx's, I think I'm drawn to the friendliness, warmth, and engagement of So/Sx types.


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## Sonny (Oct 14, 2008)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> I'd say Sp/Sx is my favorite, but, overall, I like yin type (Sp/Sx, Sx/Sp and So/Sx) and am annoyed by yang type (Sx/So, So/Sp and Sp/So)


Also curious about the ying/yang significance.


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## noaydi (Feb 18, 2011)

hey, like I said in my post I bet yin yan is somewhat similar to the contraflow/synflow 16types describe : 

http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/133-Instinctual-Stackings



> Syn-flow: sp → so → sx → sp
> Stackings involved: sp/so → so/sx → sx/sp → sp/so
> Direction: Compelled toward people. Acting upon and with others as a born insider i.e.- deeply human.
> 
> ...


I advise you read all, it's a really good paper on instincts.


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## meridannight (Nov 23, 2012)

it was written somewhere the ''yang'' variant is supposedly the one usually doing the pursuing in romantic/sexual interest. ''yin'' is supposedly the pursued one in that dynamic. 

at first i thought it was the contra/syn thing as well, but since it throws sx/sp and sp/sx into he same category it's something different. don't know who made this yin etc distinction, if there's anything more to it than that, and it seems a shaky supposition to me at best. 

i'm an sx/sp. it is true i usually don't care to do the active pursuing much, it's more in the mutual dynamic interaction for me. but neither can i say i like being actively pursued. all of it resembles too much like playing games in my opinion and i don't have patience for it. i know whether i like a person or not, so i either make a move myself or they make some move and that's how it goes. i don't play these silly games a la, guess-whether-i-like-you-or-not or chasing after someone when i can just step up to them and make a direct move on them. so i am on neither end of it.

i don't think this thing is really type/variant/health related. i think there's a pretty even distribution of pursuers vs pursuees among all types. if you care to divide people in two like that.


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## Kitfool (Oct 24, 2012)

This is kind of a tough question. I'm not great at distinguishing between the variants right off the bat. I really don't even know for sure if I am sx/so or so/sx. I seem to attract a lot of sp/sx types though. I know one so/sp that I find slightly annoying, I find sx/so slightly too in your face. I think in theory I like sp/sx and so/sx, also sp/so is okay.


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## dpt727 (Jul 16, 2012)

sx/so


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## Metaplanar (Apr 2, 2011)

no_id said:


> hey, like I said in my post I bet yin yan is somewhat similar to the contraflow/synflow 16types describe :
> 
> http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/133-Instinctual-Stackings


Thanks, interesting article. May have helped me figure out my secondary instinct.

(But of course that stacking gets associated with hell at the end, awesome >.<)

Favourite? Hm, I think after reading that I pretty much dislike them all. Not to say that I dislike the people that are stuck with any of them (myself being one).


> Often a negative reaction develops in response to seeing your last instinct operate in others. For example, SP-last people might grow impatient with those who devote a lot of time and effort into making themselves well fed and comfortable - fiddling with the room temperature, checking seat cushions, arranging their bottled water, etc. *SP-last people can grow bored if they find themselves trapped in a conversation about food, home decorations or furniture, local deals, home prices, salaries.* SX-last people might feel uneasy when they see people openly demonstrating their sexuality, gender orientation or sexual preferences, engaging in PDA[well, indifferent really, except for when it's expected of me to do the same or directed at me, but can't relate], discussing private feelings and experiences, etc.* SO-last people might get impatient with 'shallow' socialite chit-chat, get frustrated when required to network, and wonder how others can keep up with so many acquaintances*. One takes the dominant instinct as a given and believes that everyone should be this way, hence people become surprised and even frustrated when they meet  others who show no concern for their primary area of preoccupation.


...and that is only supposed to be that way if you have the respective instinct last? Huh.


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## Dark Romantic (Dec 27, 2011)

Sx/So, and I fully admit being biased on this one.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

Dark Romantic said:


> Sx/So, and I fully admit being biased on this one.


being the darkworker that you are, I would have thought you would favor a more Sp heavy variant


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

roastingmallows said:


> This is kind of a tough question. I'm not great at distinguishing between the variants right off the bat. I really don't even know for sure if I am sx/so or so/sx. I seem to attract a lot of sp/sx types though. I know one so/sp that I find slightly annoying, I find sx/so slightly too in your face. I think in theory I like sp/sx and so/sx, also sp/so is okay.


So/Sx: warm, subtle, inviting, bubbling, light yet intense, has a bouncy/energetic quality to it (similar to the vibe of most ExFPs) 
Sx/So: fire and ice, volatile, charismatic, crazed, ravenous, wants to "taste your soul" (yes, it's that intense)


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## Kitfool (Oct 24, 2012)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> So/Sx: warm, subtle, inviting, bubbling, light yet intense, has a bouncy/energetic quality to it (similar to the vibe of most ExFPs)
> Sx/So: fire and ice, volatile, charismatic, crazed, ravenous, wants to "taste your soul" (yes, it's that intense)


Tests always tell me I am sx/so and I relate more to the focuses of sx, but that really sounds a little too intense for me. My intensity is a little more anxious/manic than intense and focused. I suppose I wouldn't necessarily call myself "passionate" either, not in a "fiery" sort of way. I'm more water than fire in a way. I may very well be so/sx, particularly since many comics are supposedly so/sx and I feel I exude a similar energy. So basically, my motivations are sx but my energy is so.


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## Kitfool (Oct 24, 2012)

Sexual|||||||||||||||||||||66%Social|||||||||||||||||||||62%Self Preservation|||||||||||||||46% 


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

roastingmallows said:


> Tests always tell me I am sx/so and I relate more to the focuses of sx, but that really sounds a little too intense for me. My intensity is a little more anxious/manic than intense and focused. I suppose I wouldn't necessarily call myself "passionate" either, not in a "fiery" sort of way. I'm more water than fire in a way. I may very well be so/sx, particularly since many comics are supposedly so/sx and I feel I exude a similar energy. So basically, my motivations are sx but my energy is so.


based on this, you're probably So/Sx. Sx seconders often relate more to the Sx motivations (especially at face value) but true Sx doms have a fiery, insatiably hungry quality to them. their energy is more dramatic and reaches out to people saying "please! give me intimacy!" 
PS: I'm not going to point out names, but most of the Sx doms on this site are mistyped.


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## Sonny (Oct 14, 2008)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> PS: I'm not going to point out names, but most of the Sx doms on this site are mistyped.


If only there was a witch hunt thread, somewhere, that would be good for that kinda thing *dreams*


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

Sonny said:


> If only there was a witch hunt thread, somewhere, that would be good for that kinda thing *dreams*


this was relevant to the conversation, it doesn't need to go there.


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## Kitfool (Oct 24, 2012)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> based on this, you're probably So/Sx. Sx seconders often relate more to the Sx motivations (especially at face value) but true Sx doms have a fiery, insatiably hungry quality to them. their energy is more dramatic and reaches out to people saying "please! give me intimacy!"
> PS: I'm not going to point out names, but most of the Sx doms on this site are mistyped.


Thank you! I think you are right.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

roastingmallows said:


> Thank you! I think you are right.


ESFP and 7 are also pretty sexual types in and of themselves, so that can make things more confusing. 

also, check out there descriptions from The Wisdom of the Enneagram (Riso and Hudson)
I was a bit on the fence as to whether I was Sp dom or Sx dom, but the Sp 7 description had me pegged to a tee

*Self-Preservation Sevens*



> Getting Mine. In the average range, Self-Preservation Sevens are determined, energetic people, driven to make sure that their basic needs and comforts will always be met. Their attitudes and concerns tend to emphasize the practical and the material. (In the immortal words of Scarlett O'Hara, "As God is my witness, I will never go hungry again!") They tend to be ambitious and work hard to insure that options will remain open to them.
> 
> Self-Preservation Sevens are also classic consumers. They enjoy shopping, traveling, and pampering themselves, making it their business to gather information about the potential sources of enjoyment (catalogues, movie listings, travel and restaurant guides). These Sevens are especially on the lookout for sales and bargains, and like discussing these matters with friends. ("I just found the most darling mugs at the Pottery Barn.") While they enjoy socializing, Self-Preservation Sevens fear developing dependencies on others and avoid having others depend on them.
> 
> ...


*Social Sevens*


> Missing Out. In the average range, Social Sevens often cultivate a group of friends and "advisors" who share enthusiasms and interests with them. These people keep the Seven informed of new possibilities and provide the stimulation and variety that Sevens enjoy. Idealistic people, they like getting involved with social interactions and causes, finding these activities exciting. However, once involved in the projects with other people, Social Sevens can become frustrated and feel bogged down by others' slower pace/ At such times, social responsibility begins to feel burdensome—they are caught in a conflict between the desire to fulfill their commitments and the desire to go off and do their own thing. Moreover, Social Sevens are always on the lookout for a more stimulating setting ("This New Year's gathering is pretty nice, but I bet Ted's party will really be jumping after midnight!"). Social Sevens also resent authority, seeing it as arbitrary and unnecessary—yet another source of social restriction.
> 
> Less healthy Social Sevens tend to scatter their energy and resources, to half commit. They make sure to fill their calendars and date books, but also "pencil in" back-up plans, so that they are not trapped in any particular course of action. They tend to have many pokers in the fire, but are too distracted to get white-hot about any of them. They are friendly and engaging, even charming, but easily feel trapped any may cancel appointments or dates with little or no notice if anxiety or a more promising social engagement presents itself.
> 
> In the unhealthy range, Social Sevens tend to dissipate their force and talent in endless successions of meetings, social gatherings, and "planning sessions" that are never brought to a conclusion. They leave a trail of loose ends and broken hearts, never alighting anywhere for long. They are unsettled and unsettling since flight from anxiety renders them irresponsible and leads them into potentially dangerous and destructive "social scenes."


*Sexual Sevens*


> The Neophile. In the average range, Sexual Sevens are constantly looking for something new and beyond the ordinary; like Fours, they tend to reject the mundane. In all of their activities and interactions, they want to experience the intense charge of being alive. They see life through heightened imagination, idealizing themselves, their relationships, and reality. They often have wide-ranging curiosity and interests and are fascinated by new ideas and topics they see as being on the cutting edge. Sexual Sevens are magnetized by people whom they find interesting or refreshing. When the radar of their sexual instinct locks on the such a person, they do not hesitate to approach the person with charm and genuine interest. They feel temporarily dazzled and hypnotized by the object of their curiosity and may induce similar feelings in others. Sexual Sevens enjoy the excitement of fantasizing about future adventures and shared interest with the nre person. They love wild ideas, wit, and humor — their minds move very quickly, but this can also cause restlessness with themselves and their relationships.
> 
> Less healthy Sexual Sevens can become fickle — both with their interests and with their affections. They fear commitment, preferring the intense feelings of infatuation that occur in the earliest stages of a relationship. (They love falling in love.) They revel in romance and in the process of mutual discovery, but as soon as the feelings become familiar, they are ready to explore other possibilities. Similarly, restlessness causes them to lack discernment. They may get involved in faddish or sensational ideas in glitzy packaging that are little more than temporary distractions. Disappointment soon follows.
> 
> In the unhealthy range, Sexual Sevens become even more reckless in their pursuit of charged excitement. They may involve themselves in crazy schemes and unrealistic or dangerous love affairs. They become thrill-seekers, looking for more and more extraordinary sources of entertainment while being less and less affected by any of it. They become hardened and dissipated from living on the edge, often burning out or damaging themselves in some permanent way from their excesses.


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## Kitfool (Oct 24, 2012)

@Swordsman of Mana 
Yeah, I've read this book from front to back like three times. 'Tis my favorite. I also just read this section last night, wondering again about so/sx vs. sx/so. Reading it again, I do relate more to the social than usual, after opening my mind to it. I don't like to think of myself as a "social" type because it sounds shallow and I already get enough of that being a 7 and an ESFP. XD I've always felt that getting to know someone very well was far more important than having a lot of impersonal friends, and really I don't have a million friends that I see regularly, and I also am not obsessed with intimacy, so I guess that is one way I could not be sx dom. It's really the intellectual thrill of getting to know someone that excites me. I keep an internal database of people, always watching their reactions to things and taking notes. I am also quite excited by physical chemistry/intimacy, but not so much interested in emotional bonding or passion or anything like that (unless it's sex). I have no desire to love someone so much that I can't live without them. That sounds messy and uncomfortable.


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## Kitfool (Oct 24, 2012)

I also am not a thrill seeker by any means.


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## Dark Romantic (Dec 27, 2011)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> being the darkworker that you are, I would have thought you would favor a more Sp heavy variant


You'd think so, but not really. In real life, I find Sp heavy people end up supplying a grounding influence on me in either really concrete or really subtle ways, which has definitely been great for me, but in more abstract terms, I just LOVE the full, extreme, forward propulsion that Sx/So becomes about. I can't get enough, it's just... mmmmmmm...


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

Dark Romantic said:


> You'd think so, but not really. In real life, I find Sp heavy people end up supplying a grounding influence on me in either really concrete or really subtle ways, which has definitely been great for me, but in more abstract terms, I just LOVE the full, extreme, forward propulsion that Sx/So becomes about. I can't get enough, it's just... mmmmmmm...


Disclaimer: I'm also biased 
I prefer the more subtle, delicate, sensual energy of the Sx/Sp and Sp/Sx (more of a Yin energy as opposed to the Yang energy of Sx/So). there's a sort of "forget about the world, come away with me!" essence to them that I find much more hypnotizing, romantic and mysterious. Sx/So has an ESxP-ish sort of energy to them while Sx/Sp and Sp/Sx have a more FP-ish energy.
So/Sx give me a grounding influence the same way Sp doms give you one. you see, as a social laster, my focus is on
- me 
- anything that affects my well being 
and 
- anything that manages to captivate me.
in terms of other people and how they relate to one another, I'm totally lost. trying to play "the game" and keep up with everything (and, more importantly, everyone) going on outside of my conceited personal interests makes me feel like


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## Dark Romantic (Dec 27, 2011)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> Disclaimer: I'm also biased
> I prefer the more subtle, delicate, sensual energy of the Sx/Sp and Sp/Sx (more of a Yin energy as opposed to the Yang energy of Sx/So). there's a sort of "forget about the world, come away with me!" essence to them that I find much more hypnotizing, romantic and mysterious. Sx/So has an ESxP-ish sort of energy to them while Sx/Sp and Sp/Sx have a more FP-ish energy.
> So/Sx give me a grounding influence the same way Sp doms give you one. you see, as a social laster, my focus is on
> - me
> ...


For me, that type of energy is fun to look at, but I get irritated and start acting up if there's too much grounding calmness around me. I've gotten more that way lately, though; I wouldn't even be too _too_ surprised if I shifted variants somehow (though I still have the propulsion drive, I've just learned to control it better), since I've gotten a lot more contemplative and less go-go-go without thinking. Sx/Sp doesn't sound fun; to me, it'd be like being forced to bottle up an orgasm and wait for the right time to let it loose, which would drive me insane. Sp/Sx sounds more comfortable; it seems like a more self-sufficient variant, though I would probably go more insane if I were Sp dominant and had my personal leanings. In the end, I'm Sx/So because it feels soooo good... just letting everything go and running with the energy flow entirely is where I fucking BELONG (on a weird tangent, I think my current workplace has a lot of Sx/Sos in it; I haven't brought the Enneagram up with anyone, so it's more of a hunch, but a hunch I'm pretty sure is right). Also, "the game" is bullshit; there are so many better things you get to do, though it's useful to know how to play when you have to.


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## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

I don't know why, *every single person* I've been insanely attracted to has been So/Sx. I'm not even exaggerating. It's a weird ass trend, and never fails. I wonder why.. 

(That said, Sx doms are delicious as well.)


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## SuperDevastation (Jun 7, 2010)

Sx/sp, I find it cute/adorable, especially in children, particularly girls.


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## Sonny (Oct 14, 2008)

kaleidoscope said:


> I don't know why, *every single person* I've been insanely attracted to has been So/Sx. I'm not even exaggerating. It's a weird ass trend, and never fails. I wonder why..
> 
> (That said, Sx doms are delicious as well.)


Don't hate the perfection, baby.










(someone's got to like So doms!!)


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

kaleidoscope said:


> I don't know why, *every single person* I've been insanely attracted to has been So/Sx. I'm not even exaggerating. It's a weird ass trend, and never fails. I wonder why..
> (That said, Sx doms are delicious as well.)


same
So/Sx has an almost golden retriever-ish warmth that seems to captivate me (though I was once in love with an Sx/Sp ENTJ. I couldn't resist, he was so goddamn charming! :blushed: )


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

I am amused by this thread.

No idea which variant I prefer. I haven't really fallen for a lot of people who actually exists.


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