# What Personality Types have you DATED?



## sidekicklover22 (Jan 15, 2012)

List the Personality Type of the person you have (or are) dating, and describe what the relationship was like! 
Positives and negatives (on both your parts!) similarities and differences. 
Infact, maybe say how you responded to them or how you were _surprised_ by your responce to them.
Expose things that help prove the character of your type or theirs. Anything intriguing... even stories!
This will help us understand your type, their type, and how they relate​Who knows, maybe someone else has had a similar experience!

Cant wait to read them :happy:​


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## VictoriaB (Apr 29, 2012)

I'm and ISTP and the last person I dated was an ENFJ

So basically as 180'd from one another as you can get. I'm stuborn, head strong, independed, secretive, unemotional, not good at communicating feelings, not a talker, get annoyed easy, and quiet.

He was emotional, sensitive, talker, first to talk about there feelings, clingy, and needy.

As you can imagin, this was not a good or healthy combo. We meet because we where in the same group of friends. Started hanging out, then before I realized it...within about a month of spending time together he started telling people we where an item. I didn't understand because I did not sign up anywhere for an exclusive relationship. But a few weeks later it ended any way. He was lying about what he would be doing because he was scared to tell me, and I found him to be a very weak person. 

So, word to the wise for ISTP's and ENFJ.... Don't date.


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## GoodOldDreamer (Sep 8, 2011)

First - ISFP: I have nothing bad to say about her in the least. I couldn't have asked for a better first love. Too bad I was young and naive and let her go when I had the chance to convince her to stay. :sad: The bonding was amazing though. Very complimentary to each other. It's just that the timing was wrong.

Last - ESTP: She was the most physical of all my SOs. I mean, very much so. She had a thing for biting, which I had to get used to. But anyway, while I got to indulge my inferior Se like crazy, there was limited emotional intimacy and spiritual bonding. And that's what I look for in a relationship. Obviously, we weren't that compatible. I was willing to do my part to work things out but apparently she wasn't, because she cheated on me, which killed the relationship. To add insult to injury, she also bragged about it to mutual friends of ours. :dry:

And seeing as how I haven't been in another relationship since, and that was nearly a decade ago now, she's managed to nearly kill what minimal motivations I've ever had for being in relationships in the first place. *sigh*

Anyway, between those was an INFP somewhere, and I think there was another SO of a different type too. I'm not great with the details, since as I've said, it was ages ago now since I was with any of them. The first and the last had the greatest emotional impact and resonance with me though. First had all the great stuff, and the last had all the worst.


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## dejavu (Jun 23, 2010)

I'm gonna list in order.

INFP: 
Positives: A good listener, pretty sweet.
Negatives: He cheated on me and had poor communication skills.
It was a relationship that should have just been a friendship at best, which is what it is now. It was short-lived, full of misunderstandings and arguments. We just didn't mesh, and still don't do some extent. He often annoys me and I have very little patience for him. He tolerates me well though. I have bad habits where I go off and do my own thing without warning for a while, and he is one of the few friends who doesn't seem to mind.

ESTP: 
Positives: He was very charming and fun. He had a good sense of humor, made me feel special. 
Negatives: ...He cheated on me. With my best friend. From day one of our relationship. To this day, he's still a huge womanizer.
This was a horrible relationship. We're friends now that I understand him and the way he is, but honestly this was a train wreck. I was going through a crisis in my family and was depressing to be around, which he told me frequently. I suspected that he was cheating on me for a long time, he always denied it and tried to make me think I was crazy, which in turn caused me to be insecure and needy. My self esteem went down the toilet.

ENTJ: 
Positives: Thoughtful, on occasion. Rich (no I'm not that shallow, I'm just drawing a blank on why I liked him.)
Negatives: He was very arrogant and treated people like shit if he thought they were not on his level.
Another relationship destined for failure. After the time spent with the ESTP up there, and some really shitty things happening at home, I was extremely low and I don't know why I was with him. It was a mutual break up after we both got frustrated with each other.

ENFP:
Positives: Incredibly sweet and kind. He was fun to be around and was very genuine.
Negatives: We were 18 and he got way too serious for our age. He was also pretty ditzy.
This was a happy time, full of fun Ne-usage. We were always going on adventures and inspiring each other. He liked me a lot more than I liked him, though. I was just there for fun, I didn't think about the rest of our lives together, but he wanted to head in that direction. I broke up with him when I realized how serious he was, didn't wanna hurt him further.

ISFJ:
Positives: He had an incredible mind and was an awesome writer. I loved his creativity and reading what he wrote, he painted such a vivid picture with his words. He was deep and had a kind heart.
Negatives: He couldn't let go of the past and could be very negative. He was also extremely passive aggressive.
I learned a lot and it felt like a natural fit in many ways, but this relationship also brought out my flighty tendencies, or at least exaggerated them. He was always wanting me to nail down some commitments, and I just wanted to see how things went. I ended up feeling trapped and broke it off.

INFJ:
I'm actually gonna leave this one because he's on this site.


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## TrailMix (Apr 27, 2011)

*1. ENTP* - Just to preface this, we "dated" as in went on dates and made out and stuff for a little over a month, but were never "officially" bf/gf kinda thing. anyway:
*Positives:* Very cute, very fun. Our banter was disproportionately good relative to that of my other love interests. He was very bright, very quick, and liked the same nerdy shit I did
*Negatives:* Very closed-off. I felt like he was sort of a shell with all these pretty, superficial things on him, but that there was a lot more underneath that he would never be willing to share with me, and there was no deeper connection than flirting and physical things. Plus he was a shitty-ass kisser and seemed just in the whole thing for the physical aspect which was a huge turn-off for me once I realized it.

*2. ESFJ* - Current boyfriend of almost 6 months. Wouldnt be surprised if he was my last, but wouldnt be surprised if he wasnt (if that makes sense)
*Positives:* Sweetest guy Ive ever met and super nice. Has a goofy sense of humor and is kind of a goober. Is into a lot of the stuff I'm into, is a fantastic kisser and is very hands-on in terms of the relationship (no, not in a sexual way). He and I just connect for some reason, I dont know why. We really get each other and he makes me laugh and makes me feel safe. Love the kid to death.
*Negative: *There really arent many. I'd say the only thing is that he takes things too seriously sometimes and gets a little more emotionally involved than I deem appropriate, though I am an INTP after all... Mostly its that he will get pissy about stupid things, but he's easy enough to cheer up so its not too much of a problem. He's getting better


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## Anthoric (May 31, 2012)

Well, to be dead honest, I don't 100% know the types of everyone I dated, and the ones I did know, it wasn't 100% for most of them (you know what the test says, 60-70% accuracy), those I will mark with a *.

*INTJ* 1 -* The love of my life, was the longest relationship I'd ever had, about a year and a half. Though a nasty series of event split us up and for about five months I was lead to beleive she was dead. (It's a wild story, trust me.) When I finally found out she wasn't, things weren't the same. Took forever for me to get over. Finally came to a recent realization that I have to do for her now what she did for me then.

Pros: Very loving and understanding. Actually listened to me and took my advice into consideration. Was romantic and intelligent, open minded as well. Told me time and time again to do what made me happy, and all she wanted was for me to be happy. She seemed to have a lot more emotial intelligence than what I would expect from an INTJ.

Cons: Could be withdrawn sometimes, waaaaaaaaay too obsessed with school, though I managed to get her to mellow out a bit.

*ENTJ* *though I'm pretty sure on this one** - This one came after the one abouve, during that timespan I thought she was dead. She was enchanted by me, but as time went on, her stubborn and irrational nature showed. Eventually I told her I was not going to be afraid of losing her, yeah I fell pretty hard for her to an extent, and whatever happened, happened. She's one of the few that broke up with me, rather than me breaking up with her. (Though I'm usually the one that breaks up with the other because I'm the one getting mistreated in some way.)

Pros - We had a really awesome sexual connection, and though she wasn't that good at it, tried her damndest to be supportive.

Cons - Got really controlling, admitted at times she'd get angry at me for no reason. Loved to ignore me when there was a problem and was stubborn as hell.
*
INTJ 2/ISTJ - *She, like the other two, fell madly in love with me, for a while I was stupid enough to think this was the one I was going to marry, but there were some misteps and the whole thing came apart. I went back later after our mutal breakup and resolved things, and told her that she could come back to me if she wanted. Of course I got handed a load of excuses, but legit ones, as to why she couldn't. What pisses me off is she is now corrently seeing some dude who lives in chichago, which is about 6-7 hours from where she is, after she told me the 3 hours that had come between us was one reason she couldn't return to me.

Pros - Very passionate relationship phsycially and emotionally, apparently I taught her a lot.

Cons - She had the intution of a brick wall, really, really sucked at picking up hints and signs, and that drove me crazy. Didn't have much in common when it came to passtimes, partially because the physical passion got in the way (Tried to watch a movie with her, all she wated to do was stare at me). And of course after a while all her emotion dried up and she became machine like.

*INFJ *- One of the shortest relationships of my life. We'd been friends for a while, about four years, she expressed attraction to me about the time I found out INTJ 1 was alive and had met INTJ 2. Of course she was reluctant to follow through anything, even when I said I was attracted to her. Eventually we did date, for about 2-3 months. I loved her to death but to this day I'm not really sure if she cared about me or not.

Pros - Was always willing to listen, seemed to understand how I worked. Was amazing when she opened up, but that was rare.

Cons - Clammed up most of the time despite knowing me for so long, wasn't willing to make any steps to make the relationship better. Twoards the end she got delusional. Didn't like the fact I had her figured out and seemd to delibertly change herself so that I didn't know her. (had an INFJ friend who did the exact same thing, starting to think INFJ's hate being figured out) Left me because I said I couldn't help her, when really it was her that wasn't willing to accept my help. She was my last love, that relationship ended around 8 months ago. I've been single since. It's been a lonely time, I'm not used to being single for so long, I'm used to being able to attract another suiter fairly quickly but I feel liek I've lost my charm.

I've done research on trying to find an idea of types to try, just to get an idea of where to look. Right now I beleive my best bet is an ISFJ, though I understand anything can work if the circumstances are right, and I'm not going to base a relationship based on the typology itself, but use the typology as a bit of a hints guide.


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## Paradox1987 (Oct 9, 2010)

I can't be bothered to discuss my first two relationships, because the myriad things that went wrong in both were more than type related and plus, I don't know their types and given my less than positive time with both, I can't be bothered to speculate and feed/indulge pointless prejudice.

So, my last relationship:

ENTP:
I always got on very well with ENTPs, and we have a blast. So when I finally met a single female version, it was no surprise that I got on so well with her too, and even wound up with her.

The Pros
Stop me if you've heard this one, two Ne doms enter a room... Yeah, the world can take a backseat when that happens as we flit from topic to topic. Serious, fun, absurd, bizarre. We shared a love for the novel, and my love for the whimsical or capricious amused her. It was fun to not see someone give me odd looks for my random mind and moods. 

We shared interests, and our first date belied this. I took her to an exhibition of a (then) upcoming artist at the Royal Society of Arts, one of my favourite galleries. She had a love for new experiences, travelling and culture. But, and this is key, we weren't so similar that it detracted from our overall relationship.

The Cons
My friends warned me (and still do) to not date a colleague. So in defiance, I dated my ex from the Chambers three doors down. I understand why they say barristers shouldn't necessarily date fellow barristers. When we'd argue, it would become a very heated contest in which both sides would rely on "so after x, y and z; you see how I'm clearly right?" style arguments. Together, we were accused of intellectual arrogance more than once, and I'll admit, we did have moments to earn that accusation. She knew how to bait my Fi just to wind me up no end and giggle at the result which was infuriating, but was known to place limits on my sarcasm haha. 

She was very intelligent and she knew it, you had to earn being treated as an "equal" from her, so if like me, you have an equality and universality based approach, this little trait can infuriate.


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## Ramysa (Mar 22, 2012)

ISFJ
Pro : He was sweet at times
Cons :I was young and didn't liked him that much :d

INFP 
Pro : He was really cute and all girls wanted him
Con : He proved not to be so smart after all and very selfish, not to mention he was crying and nagging all the time and wouldn't say why. ( I really tried, but gave up in the end)

ISFP

Pro: He was strong and brave and hardworking
Con: Very jealous , always fighting , never actually "giving in" (like.. becoming vulnerable)

ISTJ : Cute, responsible, adorable, brave, understanding, playful, loving, caring, smart, educated, patient, relaxed, clean, organized, very good lover, faithful, devoted, hardworking, kind, fair. 
Con : Nothing I can think of ( Yes I am still in love with him, and we are still together  )


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## sparkles (Mar 2, 2011)

First love, *ISTJ *(I think)
Pros: committed, thoughtful. Once he was curious about another girl, and he broke up with me to go on one date with her. I actually think this is an appropriate option, and preferable to dating someone behind my back.
Cons: liked me more than I liked him, in the end. Tried to get me back but I'd lost interest. Felt kind of sad for him as he took it hard.

blah blah can't possibly type them all

Longest relationship - *EXTP*
Pros: Good in bed, teachable, dedicated (was willing to move to another state to stay with me).
Cons: We were a bit codependent and I wasn't as into it as he was. He could be needy sometimes. He didn't respect my boundaries during conflicts. Like I'd say I needed to go out for a bit to calm down and he'd try to make me stay during the fight, which led to me becoming nastier than I had to be. He also wasn't good at not taking my introversion personally (I was introverted at the time). Also he was a raging stoner, and he cheated on me, and we didn't have the tools to make a healthy relationship. 

Most recent last relationship - *INTP*
Pros: Great intellectual conversations. He liked my quirkiness. He was really hot in bed - I could tell he had done some research at some point. He had this childlike enthusiasm and curiosity for bedroom matters that made it really steamy. He was honest and forthright about things, as well.
Cons: (Independent of type, I think) He was very manipulative and ran hot/cold at times. I'm almost positive he had read pick-up art stuff (took me to the roof of a building which is a classic PUA tactic). I also think he was an alcoholic, though we didn't date long enough for me to confirm. He used drugs and claimed it was for personal exploration of consciousness but I think at least part of it was for escapism.

Current - *ISTJ*
Pros: He is thoughtful, supportive, generous, and puts in amazing effort. He does practical things that make me feel very loved. I feel safe with him. Our communication is easy and natural, and he's very trustworthy. When I express things I'm not as satisfied about he is receptive and that makes me feel cared for. His natural priorities complement my own. He has a fun sense of humor.
Cons: Mostly due to the T/F and the I/E stuff. I like more external displays of emotion than he naturally gives. He is typically ready to do his own thing before I am. He can be moody sometimes and his way of dealing with that (isolating) is opposed to my caregiving impulses. None of that deters me, though. By far the best relationship I've had and I can't see myself any happier with someone else. I wouldn't be surprised if this is my last relationship, and I'm totally smitten.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

INFP: My "first love" in college. She was completely unstable, threatened suicide when I broke up with her, and even stalked me. Still, when she wasn't going off the deep end, she was a lot of fun to be with. 

ESTJ: This one's a guess. Dated her in grad school. She was definitely damaged goods - her father abused her mother and her mother left when she was around a year old, and had been carefully taught to hate men. She was fun to hang out with and I was going through a dry spell sex-wise so I stuck around. Always lots of tension around her given her insecurities. She was giving me such a hard time in the weeks leading up to the bar exam that I flatly told her that she was causing me more stress than the goddamn test was and I didn't want her to call me until after the test. She had always bragged about being the one to break up with prior boyfriends, so I took great joy in dropping her ass. 

ESFJ: I married this one, just like dear old mom. Just call me redipus. Classic ESFJ in that she kept the household organized, great at remembering and organizing birthdays and family events, etc... but, in hindsight, bo-ring. Didn't like to read books, and thought a great way to spend an evening was to sit on the couch doing a crossword puzzle and watching American Idol. Worse, she resented that I wanted instead to be in the office across the house and doing my own thing on the computer. We communicated horribly together and weren't accountable to each other in an meaningful ways, roommates more than spouses. It's little wonder that some stresses that developed in the marriage resulted in her having an affair and me moving out and filing for divorce. 

INFP: current girlfriend. Like my first INFP, very emotional but very loving. She's like me in that she's coming out of a divorce and has learned a LOT about herself and what she wants. She's a bit neurotic and will quickly apologize for things, and I've told her repeatedly that she needs to stop apologizing all the time. Her ISTP-ex is a fuck stick who never acknowledged her merits or complimented her, so my gestures to her of my appreciation for what she does or who she is or how she looks, are a big deal for her. She had two kids from that marriage, but I sort of wish that she and I could have had kids together. Unfortunately we're both NP's with three young kids between us, so if/when we live together, our house will always be in some state of disarray which is different from my lifestyle with my ESFJ mother and ex-wife. 

I don't have good reads on the MBTI types of my other SO's - I either wasn't with them long enough or it was too long ago.


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## MyName (Oct 23, 2009)

1-ENxP(probably ENTP)-
Good-We were best friends for three years first (and I "loved" her for the last two of those years) so we just interacted very well together. Even when we were friends there was this unspoken sexual chemistry, it wasn't _what_ we said so much as how we'd use different tones of voices with each other than we would with anyone else, and how we'd finish each other's sentences. I liked how she managed to be very sweet and nurturing while remaining generally detached and objective, which is not easy to do. She also had a very subtle vulnerability that most people probably didn't know about, but was obvious to me. It was easy for me to be her "white knight". She also had probably the best butt in the universe. If you'd seen it you would know why it was important enough to mention.

Bad-The main reasons it didn't work was that I wanted things to move quicker than she did, coupled with the fact that she constantly did things that filled me with raging jeolousy. Immaturity on my part may have aggravated it (I was 18) but she made no attempt to change her behavior despite being apologetic when I'd bring things up with her. We also had very different life plans in general, which makes me think in hindsight that it never would've worked out even if I had been more secure in my relationship with her. She was outwardly intellectual, but I honestly don't think she was actually very thoughtfull or even that smart in general. I also wonder if I was "acting" a little bit once I got into a romantic relationshio with her. She mostly saw charming, cocky ENTP MyName, or sweet and cuddly INFJ MyName. Cold, awkward INTJ MyName didn't come out as often around her. Some of that may have been her positive affect on my mood, though.

2.ENTP
Good-Same hot chemistry as with ENTP no. 1, but not as devoloped because we hadn't known each other as long. We also had pretty much the exact same interests (Politics, economics/finance, art house and classic films, chess exc.) so we always had lots to do and talk about. She was also way more physically attracted to me than anyone I've ever met, which made me feel great about myself.

Bad-I also think I maybe acted a little bit around her the same as with ENTP no. 1. She also decided to drop me by just ignoring me and any of my attempts to contact her. This may have been due to her misconstruing something I said over the internet and my accidentaly embarassing her a couple times in public, or her freaking out when the seriousness of our relationship suddenly accelerated when we had basically been glorified FWB's before. Nothing that couldn't of been discussed, but oh well. :sad: I found out after the fact(I still haven't deleted her on facebook for some reason) that she's a major pseudo-feminist and that her Fe mainifests itself through really pathetic whining, so maybe I dodged a little bit of a bullet.


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## Kyandigaru (Mar 11, 2012)

I just got into this personality thingy so I have no clue about the guys in the past and I don't want to think about it.

Recently, I just got through dating an ESFP(3w2). He was basically worried about how people would precieve him, no matter if he enjoyed whatever it was or who he was with. If he felt he would get a bad feedback, he was do it in "secret". Possessive and rather party than have a intimate moments with me. Whenever he felt he needed to be "romantic", he would kick in and he would just "set the scene" for sex. On another down side, he was very flirtatious with random women and was totally disrepectful towards our short lived relationship. he was a complete liar and was just an all around asshole.

I didn't notice his wolf in sheep's clothing act until someone very very close to me, showed. then I started to put the pieces together. What a loser!


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## Andonio (Dec 25, 2011)

Chronologically, 

ESFP Pros: Extremely energetic, kind and affectionate, very interested in me and other people. 
Cons: Constantly needed to be around people and crowds, put off by abstract conversations, had trouble taking anything seriously.

Overall, a very meaningful relationship with a lot of mutual love and respect, but I couldn't keep up with her. We both probably need someone a bit closer to our own personalities. 

ISFP Pros: Bonded over many similar interests, physical chemistry, we consistantly communicated really well.
Cons: She was still hung up on an ex, she thought I was unrealistic, not very compassionate. 

Short-lived, but fun while it lasted. 

ENFP Pros: Always enthusiastic, extremely open and accepting, caused me to be more social.
Cons: Her familiarity and charm with others would make me jealous, constantly tried to make me more like her/her group of friends. 

A very agreeable person who I haven't lost any respect for, but the relationship would never have worked. The difference of extroversion to introversion was just too extreme.


Thats about it. Thanks if you bothered to read, I hope you got something out of it.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

I'm ENFP.

IXFX: I trampled over him. We were engaged, I broke it off. I would have given him a heart attack eventually. No fire. 
ENFP: We were adorable. Wanted the whole Disneyland wedding that never happened. Lived together. Fairy tail romance. Crash and burned. But still best friends almost 20 years later.
ENFJ: Married to 8 years. Suffocated me. Hate his big flares of dramatic emotion. Wanted to treat me like a baby. Ugh.
ISTP: Might have been the love of my life, but remember feeling from the beginning we didn't connect on an intellectual level.
ENTP: More of a fuck buddy, but was absolutely freeing and a blast. Learned a lot and it opened my mind. Awesome.
INTJ: Learned a ton. Great conversations. He was a little bit of an ass and stiff. Loved that he could discuss as opposed to argue.Highly judgmental. 
ESFJ: Crazy. Couldn't see himself clearly. Had emotional outbursts. Didn't know how to discuss things calmly. Try to give me a whirlwind romance before he really understood what he wanted. He thought he was my dad or something too. Ugh.
ISTP: Good sex, lacked endurance. No conversations. Did a 180. 
ESFP: Lasted about a week tops. Will never do this ever again. Felt projected upon the whole time. He took everything so personal. Drama. 
ESTJ: Sort of cool, somewhat of a bully. He hated taking "no" for an answer.


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## PeaceOfMind (Apr 26, 2011)

INTP - Lasted 6 months. Basically outcasted by a lot of people who don't understand him. He could be nice to me but he became manipulative, blackmailed me to do things I didn't want to do. Learned a ton about taking care of myself.
INxP - Lasted four years. We connected really well intellectually and he taught me to take risks. But he ran away with my money and cheated on me--and still wanted to be friends! Unbelievable. Left him with no regrets.
ISTJ - Still going strong and we'll celebrate a year together next week. <3 Still makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside


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## PeaceOfMind (Apr 26, 2011)

pinkrasputin said:


> I'm ENFP.
> 
> IXFX: I trampled over him. We were engaged, I broke it off. I would have given him a heart attack eventually. No fire.
> ENFP: We were adorable. Wanted the whole Disneyland wedding that never happened. Lived together. Fairy tail romance. Crash and burned. But still best friends almost 20 years later.
> ...


Wow, I feel like you've dated most of the 16 mbti types! You could be a dating expert on them!


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## Kyandigaru (Mar 11, 2012)

pinkrasputin said:


> ESFP: Lasted about a week tops. Will never do this ever again. Felt projected upon the whole time. He took everything so personal. Drama.


I think this is standard with them...and what do you mean by projected upon?


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## sparkles (Mar 2, 2011)

I must not be ESFP. I tend toward being subdued more than being obnoxious, and I prefer to talk about issues than having hissy fits.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

sparkles said:


> I must not be ESFP. I tend toward being subdued more than being obnoxious, and I prefer to talk about issues than having hissy fits.


You're a more mature ESFP. Immature ESFP's are a sight to behold. I flatly couldn't be in a relationship with one.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Kyandigaru said:


> I think this is standard with them...and what do you mean by projected upon?


For instance, when he was mad or upset, he'd accuse me of being mad or upset. Very hard to have discussions. Just simply could not talk to him. 


sparkles said:


> I must not be ESFP. I tend toward being subdued more than being obnoxious, and I prefer to talk about issues than having hissy fits.


I have an ESFP best girlfriend too. She doesn't drive me nuts like it does when dating one. But she does avoid issues and they creep up in terrible places later. I can definitely be friends but in the dating world, they are not for me. And understand all my comments are just from an ENFP perspective of who I've dated. They are very subjective. And I have most of these types above as friends. Many of my girlfriends are ENFJ and a very close ESTJ. But this is how those combos have worked for me inside romantic relationships.


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## ilphithra (Jun 22, 2010)

Does "psychotic bitches" count as a type? :dry:

Currently engaged to a ISFP and our hobby is driving each other insane... but still love each other to bits.

@Btmangan

Do you actually like Claymore or just found the pic interesting to put on your cig? And yes, I'm actually curious.


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## jessaywhat (Sep 10, 2011)

infp- lol my first teenage bf. we had the same sense of humor and got along very.. lazily. we didn't really do anything but relax and eat too much. oh and he's a musician.. that should have been my first hint. 
isfp- took everything too seriously. we we're just awkward and got high together alot to make things less weird but it wasn't any less weird.
intp- freaking hilarious and awesomely witty, but had no common sense and was kind of lazy.
estp- didn't take anything seriously enough. like everything was a joke. everything. at first i loved it, but then i couldn't take it.
intj- i love my intj. he's so smart, awesome, and sweet to me. he might sometimes not have the best common sense but he lets his guard down with me. the only thing that kills me is when he wants to lay around all day and i want to play outside and make friends with everyone.


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## Resolution (Feb 8, 2010)

ilphithra said:


> @_Btmangan_
> 
> Do you actually like Claymore or just found the pic interesting to put on your cig? And yes, I'm actually curious.


Like Claymore? I love Claymore. ^__^ I've read the manga and I've even written some fanfic. 

Miria <3


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## dalex (May 26, 2012)

I think its pretty safe to say, that there are very few people that can tolerate an "ENTJ," personality.


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## The Unseen (Oct 26, 2010)

ENFP - He was batshit crazy. Emotional rollercoaster of death. That is all. _(Sorry if I offend anyone by that statement.)_

ISTJ - Complete hard ass. Wore me down and out, almost broke my soul. _(My ex-husband.)_

ISTP - Super cool guy. I enjoyed this relationship, but we were _far_ too similar. It went nowhere fast. _(3 months. Woosh.)_

ESTP_ (Current)_ - We have our up's and down's, but it's a lot of fun 9 days out of 10. We teach each other things, and balance each other out in positive ways. It's pretty neat watching it all happen. One thing I appreciate about him is that he is supportive, without being intrusive. I love that.


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## ElectricHead (Jun 3, 2011)

ENTJ, maybe ENFJ but I doubt it. She broke up with me after 9 months because she just got her masters, a new job to start her career, a new apartment, new friends, and I guess she decided that she needed to upgrade her boyfriend as well. 
The good; The first 3 to 4 months were awesome and we had a lot of fun. We got each other's jokes, she was kind of quirky, which I like, and she liked my head-in-the-clouds vibe. The sex was ok, not mind numbingly awesome but not at all bad. I am having a hard time remembering how it all went to shit but I think she though I was too insecure and emotional and I thought she was kind of manipulative and "cookie cutter". She once tried to make me wear a certain kind of socks when I wore shorts and got pissed when I said I am a grown man who can wear whater socks I want. Sounds trivial, but when little things like that add up over awhile, it just kind of boils over. We pretty much hated each other by the time it was through and never talked again. 

ENFP. My current girlfriend of 23 months. We are so alike it's crazy and everyone calls us an awesome couple. I love how laid back she is, the loving looks she gives me, the way she laughs, her ditzyness, her insight. I love the way we are mostly on the same page in everything, even when spotting subtle jokes in movies that others didn't pick up on. I absolutely love how she often see's outside of the box. She's low maintenance, nonjudgemental for the most part, beautiful, and intellligent. 
Any problems we have stem from miscommunications. To me, her outside of the box viewpoints can lead her to think I'm meaning more than what I'm saying and she'll get defensive and aggressive which usually leaves me dumfounded. To her, she sometimes feels like I don't "need" her and that it wouldn't phase me if we just broke up any minute. I blame myself for that because I need LOTS of alone time and it isn't really fair to her sometimes. 

Other meaningless, casual relationships include a ISTP who really didn't put a huge priority on emotions at all, which to me was weird, and it kind of drove us both crazy because I wanted more out of the relationship than she did and while I realized it wasn't going to happen, I also didn't want to break up. So... I just moped the whole time while she led me on (I tried to say we should just be friends, which she liked the idea of, but she wanted sex also, and at the time I had no desire to separate sex and a relationship, as the relationship was more of my desire and sex to me is about an emotional connection that exceeds the plutonic level). We also had HUGE communication issues. We could have been friends probably but once I realized a relationship wasn't happening, I dropped her out of my life after I started dating the ENFP woman I'm with now.

Uh.. ISTP again. She just kind of sucked. We had no chemistry and honestly I got the impression that she was using me for sex, and the sex really was so horrible that it wasn't even worth it to play along.


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## BeauGarcon (May 11, 2011)

i had that one girl who was into bestiality i thin she was a entj very dangerous girl didn't work out as i thought it would

then i had that other girl a infp she was very friendly but a little too friendly u know a little predictable i think she was a type 9 not sure but i dont like them they bore the heck out of me

then i had that tomboyish entp girl who was obsessed with keys, very weird girl, she collected all kind of keys and you know that got boring after a while


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

Btmangan said:


> ENTP- Won't go into great detail, but there were a lot of reasons why this worked out well.


Well, we all know that you don't find hermaphrodite, nymphomaniac gymnasts every day...


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## SweetPickles (Mar 19, 2012)

ESTP was my first "love" treated me like dog shit but that was high school.
ESTJ had nothing to talk about...fizzled out. 
Another ESTJ (I think) he was actually hilarious, although much older than me. I think he was looking for a traditional wife, and me...not so much. He was also OCD about house cleanliness to an odd extreme.
2 ENTPs I really liked them but they didn't want to settle down, they pursued me pretty hard then once I showed interest I could tell I was losing them so I left.
A very very very unhealthy ENFP, that's all I will say about that.

Now married to an INTJ


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## Laney (Feb 20, 2012)

INFJ was sweet but wouldn't or couldn't express himself except through writing, and never really progressed into adulthood.

INTP was awesome, very loving and we had a great time for the most part. But he could be a very unhappy person and I wasn't selfless or mature enough to help him through that.

ISTP is my husband and the funnest and funniest guy I've ever known. He can be very loving but is usually unemotional. He can procrastinate with the best of them.


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## Resolution (Feb 8, 2010)

redmanXNTP said:


> Well, we all know that you don't find hermaphrodite, nymphomaniac gymnasts every day...


Ha! 

Unfortunately not. Her qualities were more in the personality department. 

Despite my desperate search, I cannot find my adam's apple-bearing gymnast. . . ;(


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## sidekicklover22 (Jan 15, 2012)

jessaywhat said:


> infp- lol my first teenage bf. we had the same sense of humor and got along very.. lazily. we didn't really do anything but relax and eat too much. oh and he's a musician.. that should have been my first hint.
> isfp- took everything too seriously. we we're just awkward and got high together alot to make things less weird but it wasn't any less weird.
> intp- freaking hilarious and awesomely witty, but had no common sense and was kind of lazy.
> estp- didn't take anything seriously enough. like everything was a joke. everything. at first i loved it, but then i couldn't take it.
> intj- i love my intj. he's so smart, awesome, and sweet to me. he might sometimes not have the best common sense but he lets his guard down with me. the only thing that kills me is when he wants to lay around all day and i want to play outside and make friends with everyone.


Youre INTP may of been an ISTP from the sound of it


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## sidekicklover22 (Jan 15, 2012)

dalex said:


> I think its pretty safe to say, that there are very few people that can tolerate an "ENTJ," personality.


My sister is an ENTJ and I love _every_ bit about them! They're the personality type I respect and admire. Theyre hardworking, practicle with their creativity and always seem to do every corner of their life the "right" way. They put forth the needed effort and detail that they need in a circumstance, and I feel that since they are so fantastic at doing* so* much they dont often get credit they deserve for it. (People always notice when someone _messes up,_ right? :happy And I wouldnt say they demand the credit either. In fact, their often the first to say what they did was "no big deal!" before their complimented.
Man, Power to the ENTJ, we need more of them around!!


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## hylogenesis (Apr 26, 2012)

I dated an INFJ once, and I'll never do it again because why? Here's why:

1.) _Never a stimulating conversation to be had. They always wanted to talk about my feelings, which I didn't care to talk about. It felt kind of intrusive to have this person making assumptions about why I apparently "felt" or "didn't feel" (which always seemed to lead back to my schiz. diagnosis). What was even more frustrating was when I was supposed to learn how certain feelings felt with no actual understanding of how I experience emotion and treating me like I was disabled because of it.

_2.) _Always asking loaded questions such as "Do you love me?" or "How do you really feel about me?" The relationship lasted a total of three weeks--*MAYBE *a month. Obviously, given the person I am, there must be some kind of basic attraction in place (or a terrible bout of open-minded friendliness) for me to be with this person in the first place. But these are not questions we ask at the two-week mark in the relationship fully expecting our lowly INTP and unfortunate narrator to profess some kind of undying love and devotion--it just doesn't work that way. There are people in my life that I care about and have known for more than half of my time here that I __*still *cannot say that I love. There is no way that I'm going to "fall" for someone in under two weeks.

_3.) _No appreciation whatsoever for great film or literature. I cannot count how many times I have flown into a rage over Ellen Hopkins. I at least gave 'Impulse' a chance--it was recommended that I try it, anyway--and I hated it. But I do expect that these things go both ways; if a book is recommended to me and I do indeed read it the whole way through, I will recommend a book in return. I also expect that this book is picked up and the first chapter or two read through--just to give it a chance. I'll be dipped if 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest' or 'A Clockwork Orange' were ever given any consideration at all. Not only does that irritate me, but I'll go so far as to say that sometimes, it does give a painful little twinge right in the old love-box... *points to chest*

_4.) _After the inevitable split, I was hassled for...I think it's been almost five years now. Always wanting to get back together, saying things will work out this time and that there's a feeling there that we were "meant to be." I don't feel I need to elaborate much more, suffice it to say there was some lying (which I've talked about in one or two posts before) that was rather transparent and frustrating (no matter how unpleasant something is, if you're up front with me, I'm far less likely to get upset over it--in this case, had I not been so obviously lied to, there would have been little to no frustration). To this very day, I'm still receiving obvious come-ons, insinuations, and constantly my casual tone is misconstrued as some kind of romantic interest.

_5.)_ There was also a huge gap in intellectual ability, which normally isn't a huge problem if a person tickles me the right way anyway and is at least a great thinker/learner...but here there was a very profound lapse in abstract processes. It bothered me that everything was so concrete in their eyes--that there was always this definitive answer--and this is not the type of person that can sit around and bounce ideas around with much proficiency. Whether this was a J thing or just this person, I have no idea, but it was irritating all the same, like a wrench in the gears. Every existential conversation turned into some kind of argument when it was not my intent to cause friction and should I get "too deep", I was quite liable to "lose" this person...and we'd barely traversed the first circle of Hell!

_4.) _No appreciation or understanding of fundamental sciences at all. Plenty of religious matter, but it's really of little relevance to me because of the manner these beliefs were held. There was no speculation to be had--it was all hard fact and that was frustrating that I couldn't lend an opinion either way.
_
I've dated other types, of course, but I've got no way of knowing what types they were. There was one who I suspect was an ESFP, and while he was loads of fun, we worked much better as friends. But none of the relationships really lasted long--I'm still acquainted and on friendly terms with about half of these people--because I tended to get bored quickly. Simply not enough to talk about. I'm honestly hoping that I find another INTP even just as a casual companion/reading buddy...but it's looking slim. I have yet to meet a confirmed other.


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## ElectricHead (Jun 3, 2011)

hylogenesis said:


> I dated an INFJ once, and I'll never do it again because why? Here's why:
> 
> 1.) _Never a stimulating conversation to be had. They always wanted to talk about my feelings, which I didn't care to talk about. It felt kind of intrusive to have this person making assumptions about why I apparently "felt" or "didn't feel" (which always seemed to lead back to my schiz. diagnosis). What was even more frustrating was when I was supposed to learn how certain feelings felt with no actual understanding of how I experience emotion and treating me like I was disabled because of it.
> 
> ...


This doesn't have much to do with anything that you're saying but every INTP I've met has been awesome. I love you. Let's talk about that for a minute. How do you feel when I say "I love you"? What? You don't love me as much as I love you, or don't show it enough? You know but can't explain it? How can you not explain it? You either do or you don't. I'm so depressed about all of this. I want to hold you forever. Oh yeah, so you think that King Kong is a movie about the symbolism of societal predjudice on interacial relationships? Yeah yeah, I agree. I love you so, so much it hurts. My heart for you is bigger than King Kong, so, how do you feel about that?


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## ForsakenMe (Aug 30, 2010)

I had a weird online relationship when I was around 15. Don't care about his type, all I knew that he was very abusive.
My first real boyfriend was an ExFx. Not sure if he's an ENFJ, an ESFJ, or an ESFP.
My second boyfriend, which lasted only a couple of months, was either an INTP or a weird INFJ.


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## squid (Dec 17, 2011)

First boyfriend: I'd peg him as an ISTP but maybe an ISFP. This relationship was the most peaceful of any I've had, but not fulfilling in the long run because we never connected on an intellectual level. He was easy to be around because he was introverted and didn't challenge my opinions too much... but also because of those things, he was sort of boring. I eventually left him because he was 19, sullen and friendless, hadn't graduated highschool and was working the night shift in a factory, and I was enjoying life and working towards a university degree. 

Second boyfriend: ENTJ. I was initially attracted to him because of his intelligence and drive. He had so much more professional confidence than I did and I was fascinated by it (he was 21, had dropped out to start his own successful business, and made 6 figures +). He was very interesting at first, and I learned a ton from him. But eventually I got really, really sick of his shameless self promotion and obsession with success, and we butted heads over everything. I'm not sure I can ever successfully date a strong J. I also discovered that the way he portrayed himself to others was not who he really was and that a lot of his success and reputation came from grossly exaggerating his abilities to people dumb enough to believe him. Every time we'd go out he'd rattle on and on about all the million dollar contracts he'd gotten that week... it got extremely boring. Honestly though, I think in 10 years or so when he gets the hell over himself, he'll be pretty cool.

Third and current boyfriend: ENTP. I'm attracted to his intelligence and eccentricity. He doesn't really seem to care what anyone thinks about him, which is admirable (although, in the case of the way he dresses... a bit tragic). We definitely connect on an intellectual level, although we come to pretty different conclusions about things and I often find his logic a bit off. But at the same time, his zany approach to stuff is stimulating because it makes me think about things differently. 

TBH I'm not sure I could ever marry or live with an extrovert, but if I did it'd probably be an ENTP. Oh, and I'm an INTJ.


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## viva (Aug 13, 2010)

This could be interesting.

I won't do my first few boyfriends in high school since they were all silly and not serious...

ISTP: First serious relationship. Lasted for two years. I don't know how. I think it was my inexperience and unfamiliarity with what I really needed to feel fulfilled and happy with someone. I also had no knowledge of MBTI and therefore just thought he was an emotionless freak of nature who didn't know how to _feel _anything and I also thought he was borderline retarded for not knowing how to express himself to me. (I obviously now understand how ignorant that belief was.) I got very little emotional backup/validation from him and that drained me very quickly. We also had very different interests-- it was a typical sensor vs. intuitive situation. He was interested in cars and trucks and sports and lunch tomorrow, and I was interested in art and math and science and the world _at large_, whereas he had a much smaller framework he worked with and was interested in. Again, had I known his type, I could have pieced all this together. Anyway, our ultimate demise came because he had no real life goals and I'm very ambitious. Pros of the relationship: we "got" each other, had the same sense of humor, were best friends before we started dating so we already had a very good connection. We had a very friend-like relationship.

Next came two flings...

INTJ: Oh, this one. He was horribly mean to me, but I know he secretly (not-so-secretly at times) liked me a lot and I think it actually really intimidated him and that's what led to our premature end. We had awesome chemistry and a definite magnetic attraction that resulted in a six-month-long cat and mouse game. He was the one who introduced me to MBTI. You can only imagine my enthusiasm when I took the test after he told me his type and I saw on Google that our types were supposedly "soulmates". I became obsessed with winning his stamp of approval and totally started idolizing him as this all-powerful genius. He was actually really messed up at the time and completely cut off relations with me with some very hurtful words. Interacting with him was very different than what I had experienced with anyone else-- I just wanted to have sex with his mind. That Ni+Ne magic is quite powerful.

Next fling... 

ESFP: This was interesting. This was the most physical attraction I have ever experienced with anyone. Not sure if it had anything to do with him being a sensor or not, but he seriously oozed sensuality. The only reason I understand that description when I read it is because I knew him and saw it myself. So charming, so funny, bright golden eyes and always happy and laughing and mischevious. This was also fairly short-lived because I was a rebound for him. Our interactions were fun, always lighthearted and he would often vent to me/use me as a sounding board, but things never really went much past the surface.

Next was an INFJ for about a year and a half, as I'm sure most of you know. Without getting too personal I'll say the pros were that it was the most connected and in-sync I had ever felt with anyone, and the best I had ever been treated by anyone (at the beginning at least). We were very much "one unit" and completely understood one another for the most part. The cons were that when we got into arguments, it was explosive and brought out our unhealthy sides. He would not speak up about his needs and then grow to resent me for things I didn't even know about. He began to make me feel very guilty and feel very badly about myself. He was uncapable of recognizing anything I did for him. We viewed love differently. I see loving as something we just do, naturally, abstractly, going with the flow and loving and caring and giving where necessary-- whereas he saw love as a physical exchange of gifts and favors and sacrifice and tangibles. I never understood that and it made us really, really incompatible in the end.


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## hylogenesis (Apr 26, 2012)

rejectedreality said:


> This doesn't have much to do with anything that you're saying but every INTP I've met has been awesome. I love you. Let's talk about that for a minute. How do you feel when I say "I love you"? What? You don't love me as much as I love you, or don't show it enough? You know but can't explain it? How can you not explain it? You either do or you don't. I'm so depressed about all of this. I want to hold you forever. Oh yeah, so you think that King Kong is a movie about the symbolism of societal predjudice on interacial relationships? Yeah yeah, I agree. I love you so, so much it hurts. My heart for you is bigger than King Kong, so, how do you feel about that?


I'm not sure I understand.

EDIT: I can see how this might be a shot at me, but I can also see how it might be sarcastic and I'm not sure which it's supposed to be. Either way, that's basically what annoyed me about it...


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## ElectricHead (Jun 3, 2011)

hylogene[I said:


> sis;2597107]I'm not sure I understand.
> [/I]
> EDIT: I can see how this might be a shot at me, but I can also see how it might be sarcastic and I'm not sure which it's supposed to be. Either way, that's basically what annoyed me about it...


Oh, I'm sorry about that. It was meant to be in good fun. Honestly I was in one of my moods and just wrote without predetermination of thought. I could relate somewhat to what you were saying in all regards, except that the relation from me was toward your INFJ friend. I've been there, emotionally, in my younger years. It's frustrating for those involved, as if you are a victim (not being sarcastic). Too much darn emotion, I mean, get a grip, right?_ By_ the way you described your ex, it reminded me of my former self and I was playing a parody of that because I thought it just might pertain to what you were saying. If not, forgive me, and I will gladly fuck off. *smiles*.


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## flyingpancake (Jun 14, 2012)

I have been with two girlfriends in my life and one was a ESFP and i dunno about the other.
Are there people here that had a ENFJ and ASFP relationship? if so, how does or did it go for you?
Some things really started to annoy me at some point especially the drama queen thing.


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## GotThis (Jun 1, 2012)

Personality of my ex:

100% asshole.


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## xerxes75 (Oct 3, 2010)

First girlfriend: ISTJ - Positives: Her and I really got along and had a lot of the same interests. We also could talk to each other for HOURS and never got bored. It actually lasted pretty long for a first relationship surprisingly 1 and a half years.
Negatives: The only negatives I would say was that she says usually I would sometimes get too absorbed in my own interests and I think she sometimes got overly pessimistic. Overall though I think her and I work better as friends since after 6 months of not talking her and I became REALLY good friends, she's actually one of my best friends currently.

Second girlfriend: ISTP - Positives: I learned more about relationships in the physical sense of them, and also learned on how to give more space in a relationship (since throughout most of my first one I was more of an ENFP and was unsure of exactly how to be in a relationship).
Negatives: After my friend who was like a big brother to me and who I was roommates with for 2 years committed suicide she comforted me for a week and then just left me on my own when I CLEARLY was still HEAVILY affected by it and spent the entire summer in depression, she also went and cheated on me by playing various games like spin the bottle with her friends.


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## Symphi (Oct 16, 2011)

My type: Consistently INFJ, with decent Te and the worst Se ever.

*Ex-Boyfriend 1: iSFP "The Temperamental Artist"*​ A 4 year roller-coaster. We dated through high school and the first year or so of my college experience. 
Positives: 
He was fairly emotional and got that I needed affection. He also strove for self-improvement and was always trying to keep things exciting.
Negatives: 
Immaturity. We both had a lot of growing up to do. He seemed to grow and change in very sudden spurts, without any warning whatsoever. He was also reluctant to speak to me about important things often, so I had to pry things out of him. Back then I was much less confident in my inner self as well, so often I got carried away and hurt his feelings a little. There were also times he neglected me a bit, which did nothing but engage my jealous tendencies. General insensitivity to how I felt was a frequent happening towards the end of the relationship.
The Outcome: 
Though it took a while to recover after he finally broke up with me, we are now best friends and always supportive of the other. He comes to me for counsel and a different perspective, and I enjoy the company. 

*Ex-Boyfriend 2: INTJ "The Vulcan"*​ A short 5 months of generally... nothing. The beginning of the adventure was nice, but steadily went downhill.
Positives: 
Intelligent, good work-ethic, and the more gorgeous smile in the world. When he was enthusiastic about something, the life in his eyes was something beautiful. He was straight as an arrow, had no interest in alcohol, drugs, etc. He is the type to forever be loyal to one girl at a time.
Negatives: 
Arrogance and coldness. Manipulative. Never opened up to me. Made me feel judged constantly. Our values and opinions were far too different on too many things. I told him I loved him too soon, to which he mentally panicked and stopped all affection period. The last two months were... a type of hell. If emotional neglect is a form of abusive passive aggression, I endured it. Finally, after four days of me staying at his place (out of necessity, it was snowing and I was stranded) and being ignored entirely, he broke up with me. 
The Outcome:
Friendly acquaintances. I wouldn't mind hanging out with him for a few hours here and there, but it will take me a long time to recover from what he put my sensitive INFJ heart through.

*Current boyfriend: ESFp "The Weird One"*​Creeping up on 5 months together, I can safely say this experience is fairly different than my last two.
Positives:
Warm, affirming, and optimistic. He takes care of me, which is something I'm really not used to. He is my refuge that keeps me from working myself to death. He is very mellow most of the time, and is willing to comfort me if I'm feeling insecure. He's also interesting and active, always having a story to tell or things to do. Did I mention enthusiastic? Complete with cat-like grin and eyes full of mischief. Creative. Very physically affirming as well (I love me some cuddles).
Negatives:
He sometimes talks over me and occasionally I feel ignored (though I'd rather have talking over me than not talking to me at all). He is somewhat shallow, likes to play hero, and has dated many broken girls. Can be irresponsible and procrastinates often, and when grumpy gets very direct, ill-tempered, and can step on toes. Sometimes withdraws and will not talk about certain things, or avoids heavy topics. Bored easily.
Outcome:
So far so good. I'm trying to stay optimistic.


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## HippoHunter94 (Jan 19, 2012)

As an INTJ, I dated...

ESFPs
ESFJ
INFPs
ENFJ
ENTP (current girlfriend)


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## sidekicklover22 (Jan 15, 2012)

hylogenesis said:


> I dated an INFJ once, and I'll never do it again because why? Here's why:
> 
> 1.) _Never a stimulating conversation to be had. They always wanted to talk about my feelings, which I didn't care to talk about. It felt kind of intrusive to have this person making assumptions about why I apparently "felt" or "didn't feel" (which always seemed to lead back to my schiz. diagnosis). What was even more frustrating was when I was supposed to learn how certain feelings felt with no actual understanding of how I experience emotion and treating me like I was disabled because of it.
> 
> ...


I do believe that INFJ you spoke of was actually an ISFJ. INFJs get DEEP in conversation, but you have to drag ISFJs into it, and when you get them there they will only give you a false smile and a uninterested "yeah..okay. (subject change into a conversation that has to do with them)"


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## sidekicklover22 (Jan 15, 2012)

ForsakenMe said:


> I had a weird online relationship when I was around 15. Don't care about his type, all I knew that he was very abusive.
> My first real boyfriend was an ExFx. Not sure if he's an ENFJ, an ESFJ, or an ESFP.
> My second boyfriend, which lasted only a couple of months, was either an INTP or a weird INFJ.


I'm sorry beautiful girl! Thank You for sharing  I hope your soul has become rescued from that pain


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## RetroVortex (Aug 14, 2012)

None! XD
(But I thought I will post anyway just to keep track of this thread)


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## sidekicklover22 (Jan 15, 2012)

RetroVortex said:


> None! XD
> (But I thought I will post anyway just to keep track of this thread)


Haha! Well welcome, then!  Its best to wait for the right kind of person! Keeps from a less fractured soul in the end


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

sparkles said:


> Huh? Really?


Oh, definitely yes.

It's worse with INTJ's, though. Because INTJ's care less about what people think of them.

INFJ's, being Se inferior, can be notoriously bad with personal hygiene. They're often unaware of the little things like bad breath, and being Ni doms, some of us don't even have the focus to do routine hygienic stuff. Brushing my teeth is the worst for me, but I'm getting better at that stuff. Routine is hard for us to start, but it kicks in once we get out of that inertia. :tongue:


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

hylogenesis said:


> 5.) There was also a huge gap in intellectual ability, which normally isn't a huge problem if a person tickles me the right way anyway and is at least a great thinker/learner...but here there was a very profound lapse in abstract processes. It bothered me that everything was so concrete in their eyes--that there was always this definitive answer--and this is not the type of person that can sit around and bounce ideas around with much proficiency. Whether this was a J thing or just this person, I have no idea, but it was irritating all the same, like a wrench in the gears. Every existential conversation turned into some kind of argument when it was not my intent to cause friction and should I get "too deep", I was quite liable to "lose" this person...and we'd barely traversed the first circle of Hell!





sidekicklover22 said:


> I do believe that INFJ you spoke of was actually an ISFJ. INFJs get DEEP in conversation, but you have to drag ISFJs into it, and when you get them there they will only give you a false smile and a uninterested "yeah..okay. (subject change into a conversation that has to do with them)"


I generally want to be careful about labeling someone as another type, but the constant appeal to literal and concrete ways of thinking is not at all Ni.

The thing that people generally find annoying about Ni dominants is our constant assumption-based models of the way things work.

I agree that this person is likely ISFJ. And an unhealthy Type 2, possibly sx.


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## Hruberen (Jan 2, 2012)

Symphi said:


> My type: Consistently INFJ, with decent Te and the worst Se ever.
> 
> *Ex-Boyfriend 1: iSFP "The Temperamental Artist"*​ A 4 year roller-coaster. We dated through high school and the first year or so of my college experience.
> Positives:
> ...


That last one sounds exactly how i'm acting toward my girlfriend, but most of the negative stuff isn't towards her, it is towards other people. Except for the one time I talked over her on our way home from the drive-in, I realized I was doing it, stopped, put my hand on her shoulder, and told her to carry on. It's not that I don't care about what someone is saying (I am notorious for doing this to my friends) it's just that my mind is preoccupied with coming up with something interesting to say, so when I come up with it I need to blurt it out or i'll forget.

But it's weird as he is ESFP and I am INTP...


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## goodgracesbadinfluence (Feb 28, 2011)

I've seriously dated an ESTP and an INFP. I'm an INTP. 

My relationship with the ESTP was when I was 15; now that we're both 21, we wouldn't mesh well as a couple. When we were together, we almost never fought and we enjoyed many similar activities. We've both changed a lot. I can't get a lot of intellectual stimulation from him, which I've learned is mandatory in a relationship, and he is also overly-obsessive with his interests... so obsessive we can never discuss much of anything else. We still enjoy some of the same stuff, but our tastes have branched off. He's also somewhat close-minded and judgmental, and reject ideas or situations he isn't used to. 

I'm still involved with the INFP, although we aren't committed to each other (we are exclusive at the moment though). I personally think we're good together. We disagree on several issues, and our biggest problem is communication. I need a logical reason to understand his actions, but he doesn't like feeling like he has to explain himself to anyone. He doesn't think I care enough about the world, the news, etc. and I think he cares too much. Those are our biggest issues. Knowing him for so long and learning about the MBTI has helped me understand him immensely, though.


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## KateMarie999 (Dec 20, 2011)

I'm an ENFP which should explain some of the stories and opinions expressed here. Okay here are all the types I've dated and how they've turned out:

*ESTJ:* I fell for him because he was nice to me. Then he got an ego and became arrogant and rather rude. I don't know what he's like now since I don't really talk to him anymore but I can imagine it would take a gigantic life event to make him realize how much of a jerk he can be sometimes. However, when he was my boss, he was actually very good, he made sure everything ran smoothly but didn't refuse to listen to his assistants. So he's kind of mixed. In some ways he's got great qualities. He just needs to work on his ego.

*INFJ: *Oh how do I even begin to describe how terrible this experience was? I don't think there are any words really. He was manipulative, abusive, and completely self centered. We did have the mad Ne/Ni connection that was pretty good for a while but once we started dating, I noticed that he became possessive but then wouldn't even bother to stay faithful. He used to insult me to make himself feel better. And when I'd get upset, he'd go into how terrible his life was and apologize. His apologies seemed heartfelt but they were just another way to manipulate. I know not all INFJs are like this, I know two who are wonderful people, but this one was bad news. At least it didn't last long.

*ESTP: *The best I can say about this relationship (we never got "official" but yeah it was sort of a relationship) is that it was nice at times. I don't have any complaints about the person. He was very nice and we had a lot of the same interests. The reason it didn't work was the S/N clash. I couldn't get philosophical or deep with him and he got frustrated that I tried. It wasn't messy or filled with drama, it just didn't work out. I sincerely hope he finds someone and we occasionally chat from time to time.

*INTJ: *Apparently this is the best type for the ENFP. I disagree. This guy and I never got "official" either. Nothing against the guy and I know I'm to blame for why it went all wrong but after the initial Ne/Ni connection, it fizzled out. I was too clingy for a while and then after I realized it wasn't working out, that's when he got clingy and finally we both decided we'd had enough and went our separate ways. I don't know what he's up to but I hope he finds someone, he really is a good guy.

*ISFP: *I stopped dating for a while but then I started dating an ISFP last December. We had a decent time together and, as with the ESTP, I can't really complain about him. Honestly, he's probably the sweetest guy I've ever dated. He was courteous and kind. The main problem was that I was bored. VERY bored. I think I kept him entertained but he wasn't funny and his conversations never scratched the surface and I needed that deeper connection. There was no spark. When I did eventually get into a relationship in April, he told me he was happy for me. I almost want to set him up with someone. He's so sweet, he deserves an SF of his own (I think he'd be most compatible with any of the SFs).

*ENTP:* Soulmate. Seriously, even if he and I break up I will actively search for another ENTP. This is without a doubt the best relationship I've ever been in. It's fun, it's adventurous, it's exciting, it's passionate, it's basically everything I've ever wanted in a relationship since I was old enough to figure out what I was looking for. I feel like I understand my boyfriend on such a deep level while, at the same time, he's a complex puzzle to solve as well. He's full of surprises yet he and I often complete each others' thoughts. He's able to understand me in a way that is completely new to me. He doesn't just understand my actions, he understands my motivations. He has strong personal values and convictions that makes him a rather unconventional thinker. And of all the guys I've ever dated, he's the one I've felt most strongly about and the only one I can honestly say that I love. I'm crazy about him.
@My Own Worst Judge, I know I've already mentioned you once today but I'd like to hear your side of this. :wink:


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## ForsakenMe (Aug 30, 2010)

sidekicklover22 said:


> I'm sorry beautiful girl! Thank You for sharing  I hope your soul has become rescued from that pain


For some reason your post made me go "Aww!"  You are too kind, thank you.


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## Kore (Aug 10, 2012)

ISTP -

*sigh* 

Pros - If I listen and like the things he likes, easy relationship. 

Cons - Do not have an opinion that goes against his, he shot ideas out of a cannon, asking me to actually consider them. 

"I like this because it explains. . ."

"It doesn't explain that, you think you're so smart. You come up with the most random ideas, you're always in your head, you need to live in the real world. What you think, what you believe, is wrong. Be like me, do what I do!" 

"Ehm. . . for some reason, my feels are hurting, I haven't the faintest idea why that may be though, let me ask the all-knowing wizard."

I was never thanked for anything good I did but there was _always_​ something that I did wrong.

:dry:


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## Coyote (Jan 24, 2012)

I've dated a lot of guys, so I'm not going to address them all. My longest relationships were with an ISFJ (5 years) and maybe an unhealthy ESFP (3 years).

*ISFJ*

In general, the relationship was very good. 

I can now recognize where his inferior Ne was affecting him, since he was on anti-anxiety medication and was really protective of me. At the time, I just thought that he was sweet. Although my best friend found him rather patronizing, I didn't take it that way. It's just like, he'd make me switch spots with him if I might be too close to a skeevy character, he'd give me money if he went away for the weekend ("just in case"), he always made sure there was food, etc. He was always worried about something, and I think that's also why he worked out so much. He was big and intimidating, and he liked it that way. I guess it made him feel a bit safer.

But his Fe? God, that annoyed me. I mean, not all the time. Like I said, he was a very sweet guy. But it's like he couldn't do anything without worrying about what others might think (that caused some of our biggest fights), and his greatest goal in life was to impress people. ... And yet, sometimes I wonder what the heck he's doing. I'm still in touch with him, and he has accomplished his goals. Impressive job, salary over 100K, extremely fit, etc. He's very proud of himself. But it's like he's sabatoging himself now with strange romantic choices, and then gets upset when they don't work out. I haven't been able to figure out why. Maybe he craves some sort of drama, but he has to manufacture it because the rest of his life is so good? I could make a decent case for that (using info from our own relationship) ... but I figure it doesn't really matter. He's a big boy and he can handle his own affairs. ::shrug::

Anyway, I don't know that I would date another ISFJ. My ex was great, but I don't really want to deal with that much Fe.


*Super-unhealthy ESFP (?)
*
He couldn't sit still, and judged me for not being as physically active as he was. He'd whine, wheedle, and insult me until I caved and went on hikes with him in 105° weather (even while I was pregnant). He insulted me a lot, even for little things like not caring enough about a damn deer. I was nothing like him, and that meant that I was inferior. (Never mind the fact that I found him boring as hell, and trying to have a decent conversation was like yanking teeth.) 

He was constantly depressed, and bitched and moaned about his "deep" feelings ... then he'd turn around and lash out at me, and start bossing me around because whatever I was doing was wrong. I'd withdraw, and he'd throw a pity-party for himself while claiming that I was a big ol' meanie-head. He was paranoid and often claimed that he'd been spying on me, and knew that I'd been doing bad things. He thought that he was miserable because he was haunted, and he blamed his moods on everything but himself (depressed because the sky was grey, couldn't sleep because the moon was full, etc.). ... And so on. It's really not worth analyzing his entire character.

Although I know that he was an awful representation for the type, I don't think that I'd date another Se-dom. There's too much energy there, and I prefer to play in my head. There was another Se-dom that I was recently flirting with, and I know that he wanted to start dating, but ... I just can't. He's a great guy, but I'm pretty darn sure that we'd run into major roadblocks and might end up resenting each other somehow. It's just not worth it.


I don't know if any of that information will prove useful to someone, but there ya go. :tongue:


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## KateMarie999 (Dec 20, 2011)

My dear boyfriend promised to post in this thread. So I'm bumping it to make it easier for him. @My Own Worst Judge


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## Black_Cow (Mar 21, 2012)

I am an INFP.

Dated an ENFJ in HS. He was smothering but he was the only type that I had dated who genuinely cared about me. I was young at the time and did not know what I wanted. He was the captain of a tennis team. Very intelligent. Very outgoing. Very popular. He was my very first crush. My first puppy love. I had a secret crush on him for the longest time. I liked him first, but he liked someone else at the time whom I believe was an INFJ. He did not know I liked him until a few years later and we dated. I decided that he was too feminine for my taste. I ended up breaking up with him. But he was a good man. Very caring. Very loyal and down to earth.

The next guy I dated while I was in college was an ESFP. He was a total loser. Met him via a group of friends. Only lasted 2 months.

I then dated an ESTP where I worked. At first he seemed/acted like a nice guy. But after I got to know him he was extremely manipulative. He was charming and was a womanizer. Unfaithful, live in the moment, has no depth or moral values whatsoever. Manwhore.

After the ESTP, I dated an INTJ, his friend. This INTJ treated me well. He was very stable, reliable, and responsible, however he was extremely boring in sex. A robot. Unemotional. Very logical. Liked to solve problems. A good guy overal.

Next, I dated an INFJ. He was an emotional version of the INTJ that I had dated. The sex was good. But somehow it did not last. Both of us were young and immature.

I haven't dated anyone since then.

I did have a crush on an ENTJ, my college professor. He was off-limit. Has a kid and was married. He was confident. Very observant. A natural leader. Very intelligent. Funny but very blunt. The things he said may be offensive to the sensitive ones. I don't think that ENTJs and INFPs are good in the long-term. But the initial attractions are there.

Have never dated an ENTP, but I heard that they are like ENTJs but are more goofy and easy going. On the other hand, I heard that they have a lot of crazy dreams and ideas but could not get them done. In relationships, they are often undecided.

Have never dated an INFP and have no interested of dating one.

Would like to date another INFJ again, to see how it goes. An ENFJ if he is not too feminine and smothering. Or an INTJ if he is not too cold and too unemotional.

I like effectionate guys who are not too effectionate. Who is a little mysterious. Stable. Knows what he wants. Has depth. Has moral value. Faithful. Has self respect. Mature and down to earth. Not too clingy. Not too possessive. Who has a good head on his shoulder. Has a good sense of humor.

Definitely no 'S' people. (No ESTJs. Do not want to date another ESTP or ESFP either.)


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## Ed S (Jul 27, 2012)

Its hard to know for sure but the ones that stick have always been N types. A few INFPs, ENFJ, ENFP currently but I'm 40 and have been with many women I'm sure all kinds.


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