# Moments to Cringe At



## gbboone (Jun 8, 2010)

In 8th grade, we had to do a huge project on the civil war and present it. We were given lessons, books, and any help from the teacher we needed. This went on for six weeks. On the day of presentations, one kid walked up and gave a _ten minute presentation on World War 1._


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## ILoveVampDiarys (Feb 22, 2011)

ok i know its really dumb but i swear i do forget how to spell my name especially when i was doing exams i stare at the paper and think: "right name... oh shit!!!!":crazy:


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## zewology (May 23, 2011)

TheWaffle said:


> In 8th grade, we were reading "To Kill A Mockingbird" and one girl in my class had thought it was called "Tequila Mockingbird."


This doesn't excuse her -- nothing like that -- but there's a restaurant/bar called Tequila Mockingbird. I don't know where you're from, but maybe she's heard of it and got confused??


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## General Lee (Oct 22, 2010)

In my American History class last year, one student said the following, "George Washington fought on the side of the British, right?"

My head, literally, hit the desk after hearing that.


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## sprinkles (Feb 7, 2010)

We had a kid from Malaysia and all the morons in the school just automatically assumed he knew everything about "Chinese ninjas with throwing stars" and stupid shit. Poor kid was so nice that he actually put up with it (understood all of it too)


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## TheWaffle (Aug 4, 2010)

Last week, my older sister described a teacher at our school as having a "deep,* black* voice."

[alluding to race, not synesthesia]


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## General Lee (Oct 22, 2010)

TheWaffle said:


> Last week, my older sister described a teacher at our school as having a "deep,* black* voice."
> 
> [alluding to race, not synesthesia]


I was going to respond. Then I saw the whited out part.


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## clicheguevara (Jul 27, 2011)

A classmate commented on a _poem_:

"This is not possible according to physical laws!"


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## kiskadee (Jan 9, 2009)

There was a time somebody tried to convince me that mosquitoes lay eggs in people's skin when they bite, and the itchy lumps are their egg pods. I'm pretty sure they were serious, too. :frustrating:


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## thetourist (Mar 29, 2010)

I was in a communications class my sophomore year where we had to partner up and make a brochure about our partner's "dream vacation". My roommate got this super ditsy blonde girl (they run rampant on our campus) and he mentioned he'd love to visit Beijing, China. Well, as we were presenting the projects, the front page of her brochure said "Beijing, Asia". She never mentioned China ONCE in the entire presentation. This was a 400-level course.


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## Einstein (Aug 10, 2011)

Teacher: "Name the place Lincoln was shot in." 
Student: "The Lincoln Monument"


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## Nomenclature (Aug 9, 2009)

"I don't get it. Why's the groom crying?" --my mom :dry:


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## General Lee (Oct 22, 2010)

Einstein said:


> Teacher: "Name the place Lincoln was shot in."
> Student: "The Lincoln Monument"


That reminds me of this.
Teacher: *End of Civil War explanation*
Student: "Lincoln was a unionist! I thought he was a Confederate!"
The student was being serious.


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## Nymma (Apr 24, 2010)

In a trip to New York, United States:

Stranger to a guy in my school's orchestra(we were a band from Canada going to a music competition in New York): Where are you from?

Guy in my band: Canada.

Stranger: Really? Tell me, how do you conserve your igloos?

------------------------------

For the last time, ignorant Americans(not talking about all Americans, only the ignorant ones)

.....WE DO NOT LIVE IN IGLOOS!!!!!!!!.........

You would think, that living in a country NEXT TO the one we Canadians live in, they would know that our lifestyles are similar.


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## Bazinga187 (Aug 7, 2011)

This one is courtesy of Susie from The Apprentice: "Are the French very fond of their children?"


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

Nymma said:


> In a trip to New York, United States:
> 
> Stranger to a guy in my school's orchestra(we were a band from Canada going to a music competition in New York): Where are you from?
> 
> ...


Are you sure they weren't joking? I like to ask Canadians about their igloos.


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## TheWaffle (Aug 4, 2010)

Person 1: *talking about school play*
Person 2: What play are you doing?
Person 1: Sense and Sensibility.
Person 2: Oh.....is that a musical?


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## Nymma (Apr 24, 2010)

Paranoid Android said:


> Are you sure they weren't joking? I like to ask Canadians about their igloos.


Hmm,you know what, maybe he was only kidding... But then,afterwards the guy in my band sort of humored him and pretended we actually lived in igloos and made up some random story on the spot about how he heroically fought off a bear and used his fur to make one of his coat...The stranger seemed like he really admired him...

Of course,I guess it's possible that the American only tested him to see how far Canadians would go to keep the "igloo reputation". Would have been really amusing XD


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## Luke (Oct 17, 2010)

"Maybe humans invented fire and then used the fire to fight fire?"

Maybe he was making reference to back burning? But maybe not.

"Is sand dredging done using underwater tractors?" 

I think being an underwater tractor driver would be the coolest job ever!

"Wow! You're an Australian? You speak really good American."


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## Voodo Chile (Jul 6, 2011)

"Your part Filipino, you must be able to speak or read Asian"


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## ItsEvan (Aug 4, 2011)

"The depression (LOL) was a time (LOL) when people starved (LOL) and lost their jobs (LOL)"


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## Hosker (Jan 19, 2011)

I asked my mum which continent Mexico is in (I was trying to fool her as most people say south).

She replied, "Um ... California?"


What is this? I don't even ...


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## General Lee (Oct 22, 2010)

TheWaffle said:


> Person 1: *talking about school play*
> Person 2: What play are you doing?
> Person 1: *Sense and Sensibility*.
> Person 2: Oh.....is that a musical?


Good. Good.


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## Psychosmurf (Aug 22, 2010)

In my 8th grade social studies class, my friend Charles and I were drawing something on a map (I forgot what), and I draw a line from Alaska to the edge of the map and another line from the other edge of the map to Russia. 

And he protests, "Wait! You can't just jump from Alaska all the way to Russia!:

Me: 

... *awkward silence*...

Charles: "Oh yeah! Yeah! I forgot the Earth was _round_!"

Me: *facepalm*


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## Nearsification (Jan 3, 2010)

8th grade AP History 

Student: The first president was George Washington Carver.

How hard would it be to LEAVE OUT A WORD.


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## Black Rabbit (Apr 15, 2010)

I attracted the awkward, socially oblivious geniuses in high school.

Teacher: Someone left their copy of MacBeth here. Who does this belong to?

*silent response*

Teacher: Ok, I took role and I know everyone is here. This book has to belong to someone here.

*another silent responst*

Teacher: Ok.....I'll just leave it up here......

_ONE WEEK LATER_

Teacher: Ok, this has to belong to someone. It's been a week already.

_Midway through class as we were discussing Macbeth my friend suddenly gets up, walks across the room, picks up the book and sits back down right next to me. He was completely oblivious to the sudden silence and to the 30 pairs of eyes staring at him in disbelief._

Friend: Oh hey [insert my name] I found my book!
Me: *facepalm*


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## Donkey D Kong (Feb 14, 2011)

"Which one is capitalism and which one is communism again?"

Someone basically said this in one of my classes 2 years ago, except they forgot the names of the systems too. They actually confused the two the next day if I remember correctly.


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## Djanga (Nov 28, 2010)

Last year, we read Les Miserables (Jean Valjean in English), which is set in the early 1800s, in class. One of our assignments was to write an essay in the form of a journal entry by one of the characters. 

Girl (reading her essay aloud):"...but then I turned on the TV and saw that there were riots going on in Paris."

The teacher seriously looked like she wanted to facepalm.


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## General Lee (Oct 22, 2010)

Teacher: *Explaining the importance of December 7th*
Student: *Laughing*
Teacher: "What is so funny?"
Student: "We got bombed."

I had to restrain myself.


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## musa (Jul 17, 2011)

My GUY freind got sucker punched in the stomach and started to cry.
I asked are you ok
and he said Very seriously
I think I broke my UTERUS

Funny as hell but still


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## Longdove (Jan 4, 2011)

Elementary school incident -

1) Kid throws *PENCIL* at another kid
2) Teacher sees it
3) Teacher pulls kid who threw the pencil aside, rather upset
4) Teacher tells him, and I quote... "What's wrong with you? Don't you know you can get lead poisoning from that?"

...I nearly plopped off my chair right then and there, after that incident, my faith in the all-knowing teachers started to drop quite fast.


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## chill.take.over (Apr 26, 2011)

I hated when I was in some sort of math class, especially when we were particularly learning about _angles_, and people would still spell my name _Angle _-__-" if its in the math books people...

My name has a hyphen (-) in it and I remember 3 different teachers on 3 different occasions putting an apostrophe ('). If anyone knew what an apostrophe and a hyphen were, I'd expect it would be the teachers.


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## Psychosmurf (Aug 22, 2010)

My 7th grade science teacher explained to the whole class how the volume of a rectangular prism is equal to the sum of the lengths of all the sides.

'nuff said. :frustrating:


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## General Lee (Oct 22, 2010)

A student told today told me that he would like to use the best of Socialism and the best of Capitialism.


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## Somniorum (Oct 7, 2010)

around grade 6 or so, we had a *terribly* dim girl in the class.

teacher was talking about medieval times, going on about how they "didnt bathe, they stunk, were filthy..."

girl: "did they have BO?" 

our teacher was dumb-struck for a moment. 

oh, something newer - at work, it came up in "discussion" (or something that involved speech, anyway) that a new guy was Zulu. 

coworker: "REALLY??? THAT'S GREAT, YOU CAN GO ALL CHAKA KHAN ON HIS ASS!"

me: "ZULU! shaka ZULU" :frustrating:


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## Voodo Chile (Jul 6, 2011)

Teacher:American civil war
Kid: Oh yea that's like George Washington and that


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## Voldemort (Aug 24, 2011)

I pointed to Australia on a map once and asked my sister what is was and she said "I don't know...Hawaii?....". 

Dont worry, I'll never let her live it down.


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## Djanga (Nov 28, 2010)

My academic adviser: So, girls, you did your English assessment this morning. What did you do the essay on?

Girl: Um, this blank paper that they gave us.

Me: Internal face palm.


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

When I received an article passed out by the professor from Newsweek. Seriously??


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## ItsEvan (Aug 4, 2011)

My professor asked the class if they were on Chapter 2, and I was the only one to raise my hand. He dismissed us early because of that.

I was pissed.


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## Psilo (Apr 29, 2009)

I still remember these gems from 11th grade: (just picture a blonde airhead saying these)

"Wait! If a cow has to be pregnant to give milk, then how do we get milk from boy cows?"

"I don't think women should be drafted. We, like, have stuff to do."


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## ProfessorLiver (Mar 19, 2011)

8th Grade Science:
"But aren't North and South America the same continent?"


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## blit (Dec 17, 2010)

Psychosmurf said:


> My 7th grade science teacher explained to the whole class how the volume of a rectangular prism is equal to the sum of the lengths of all the sides.
> 
> 'nuff said. :frustrating:


 Reminds me of my second grade teacher who said the circumference of a circle is twice the diameter.


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## Kilgore Trout (Jun 25, 2010)

A girl in my journalism class said, "I'm taking philosophy. What does philosophy mean?"

Somebody behind her said, "It's a pointless subject with stupid theories, but you can get an easy A."

I love education. [/face palm]


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## Black Hole (Jun 9, 2011)

In gym class, the teacher asked a football player who they played against last night in a game.
Teacher: Who did you guys play against?
Football player: I don't know.
Teacher: Why?
Football Player: Because I'm British.
Everyone starts laughing.

A really annoying ditzy guy repeating tenth grade: What's a sweatshop? Is it, like, an athletic store?

Kid sitting next to me in English class, currently failing all his classes: How do you spell summary?


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