# Ok guys, what do you think, feelers attracted to thinkers (in other words, opposites)



## great_pudgy_owl (Apr 20, 2015)

From a personal prespective, my favorite TV characters are mainly on the thinker side, and often sensing. House, Tyrion, Doc Martin, most of the doctors from Doctor Who, Spock, April Ludgate (actually she seems like Fi) and Ron Swanson, Dr. Cox, Sister Evangalina, Mike Heck, etc. They're incredibly entertaining and I adore the bluntness. Thoughts?


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## Lakigigar (Jan 4, 2016)

Yes & No. Basically the rule is right.

But i'm a F and i search a F who is more F then me. I don't think i would like a T. However i want also someone who can discuss in a proper way about some things. 

A scientist or a "(hard) T" maybe searches a T as women. It would fit better for a scientist. I don't think it will work fine if a scientist has a women who wants to sing all day all night 

But in general yes. And it's logical. T = basically more testoteron. F = basically more estrogen. I say "basically". There are many "exceptions". I think i have a lot of testoteron in me, but i'm sensitive and i have maybe more estrogen then the average man. I don't know.


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## INeedToP (Nov 23, 2015)

This is just a theory, from an insightful article on this website: Understanding the Archetypes involving the eight functions of type (Beebe model)



> This complex _[5th function]_ is also usually contrasexual, like the anima/animus _[Inferior function]_. It seems to be what we "lust" after in the opposite sex. While the anima is "madonna" or the "nice guy" we "love" in the opposite sex, this complex is the "whore" or "bad boy". (My own observation). This will especially be prominent in men who have not developed their anima to the stage where they dissociate it from their mother. It apparently takes on this opposite gender assignment when the [decidedly contrasexual] anima/animus energizes it. This creates an "ego-shadow axis", and the complex becomes like a negative anti-"hero". The goal of "individuation" is for an anima-Self axis to be created instead.


So, for example, I'm an INTP with Dom-Ti, so I have Inferior Fe and Te as my 5th function. That means, using the writer's word, the Fe-users is the "nice guy" I "love" in the opposite sex, while the Te-users "bad boy." I can see myself attracted to both XNFJ (Fe-intuitor, because I can't really stand sensors) and XNTJ (Te-intuitor).

As an INFP, your dominant function is Fi, so theoretically you'd be attracted to Te-users (anima), but at the same time also "search a F who is more F then me", maybe Fe-users.

As for the scientist, well, I can't say I 100% agree with that. Scientist is just a profession so any type can be one. Just my personal observation, an ideal match for an NT scientist is an NF scientist.


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## great_pudgy_owl (Apr 20, 2015)

Lakigigar said:


> Yes & No. Basically the rule is right.
> 
> But i'm a F and i search a F who is more F then me. I don't think i would like a T. However i want also someone who can discuss in a proper way about some things.
> 
> ...


Interesting thoughts, I hadn't taken just basic chemicals into mind. As far as T and F goes though, I tend to be under a belief a lot of men and women are typed wrong, even if the general pattern is true. (For instance, I've met a lot of sensitive guys, some _seem_ to almost be that way because of too much testosterone. But anger is just as much an emotion as something softer, like sadness.) Anyway, what exactly would you look for an F then, if you're looking for someone more F?


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## kittenklyn (Nov 2, 2015)

my favorite tv people are often those who have high moral standards and do whats right. I.E: Somni 451. She was an INFJ, so maybe im just attracted to my own type hahaha. my preference? Fe with a highly developed T.


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## great_pudgy_owl (Apr 20, 2015)

INeedToP said:


> This is just a theory, from an insightful article on this website: Understanding the Archetypes involving the eight functions of type (Beebe model)
> 
> 
> 
> ...


This is also pretty interesting. Looking back at the characters, many did seem to share a lot of Te. There were also several characters that also had more Ti I think, but that I enjoyed mainly for their quirky Ne (which they showed a lot better than I would, being either more extroverted characters or just less shy, etc). Seems to be as basic and simple as what you'd admire. Thanks for the read


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## Wisteria (Apr 2, 2015)

That's interesting. My favourate characters lean more towards feeling types. I think it is because they show something that I wish I was better at - They sort of reflect who I want to be sometimes. I like INFP characters because they're often relatable, but I wouldn't usually say they are a favourate. The reasons we choose our favourates must be more personal and complex than the mbti dichotomies and functions. Could be a combination of values, enneagram, alignment, experience and so on.


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## Flaming Bassoon (Feb 15, 2013)

I tend to like thinkers for women but feelers for men. I usually dislike a lot of ENFP females that I see IRL and in fiction because they remind me too much of myself. ENFP men are a different story, though...


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## Aelthwyn (Oct 27, 2010)

Yes and no. There is definitely something attractive about INT_s for me, however what I really long for is that kindred spirit connection and shared understanding of feelings that I can't say I've ever truly felt with Ts even those I've been very close with. It's not that I haven't connected emotionally at all with Ts, but... it's often when I'm most in need of an emotional touch that they have the hardest time being that, and I feel like my strongest point, my thing to offer... isn't necessarily what they need most at those times either. It's easy to feel a good connection in good times, but when differences come to a head in the hard times.... well that's not what I want to deal with for the rest of my life with my spouse. I may find NTs alluring, but I've really only had that 'I'm home' feeling with other feelers. I really enjoy plenty of T characters in books/movies, but even if they happen to be favorite characters, I often know that in real life we probably wouldn't get along that smashingly in certain respects anyway. What really attracts my heart is when I sense that gentle, understanding vibe that I've only found with feelers, Ts just have this edge to them that isn't really 'me' enough to feel really 'one' with. I dunno, that's not to say that theoretically there couldn't be a T that I could feel that with...maybe... but seems pretty unlikely to me at this point. 

Anyways, I did marry a feeler and I _really_ appreciate his gentle caringness, after having been closest with my mom (ISTJ) and my best friend (INTJ) all my life... it is SO good to be living with a feeler who 'gets it' when I'm sad or excited or idealistic, etc. Of course it's not perfect understanding all the time, but for me anyways it's much better.


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## Suda Stoiko (Jan 12, 2016)

Yes and no, sort of but not really (don't you love the indecisiveness?).

I think that has to do with me being drawn to and at the same time very...skeptical of those who I find to be the exact opposite of myself. They both irk me yet I find them fascinating from afar because they show a side of people I can not see within myself.


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## Asmodaeus (Feb 15, 2015)

From an INTJ perspective, intuitive feelers are amazing as friends, coworkers, mentors, philosophers, inspirers, teachers and SOs. :kitteh: :wink: :happy: :tongue: 

TBH, I think NF’s perspectives truly complement mine on a deeper level. The NT – NF symbiosis/combination potential is outstandingly formidable in terms of evolution, development, growth, collaboration, understanding, progress and so on. People from both "temperaments" can learn a lot from one another. roud:


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## TrailMix (Apr 27, 2011)

I feel like I tend to like Ti types more than Te types... generally... Not sure if that is relevant. But I tend to like thinkers in a romantic sense. For friends, it doesn't matter.


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## Aldys (Nov 14, 2011)

I've been surrounded by NTs my whole life. My longest and most meaningful relationship was with an NT. I loved him very much, but he couldn't cater to me emotionally. We're better off friends. 

Anyway, I'm attracted to them. I've learnt a lot about myself from all my relationships with T types. I've found we looked at things similarly, but for very, very different reasons. 

I think I'd better with an ENF. They tend to drag me out of my shell.


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## great_pudgy_owl (Apr 20, 2015)

Icy Heart said:


> From an INTJ perspective, intuitive feelers are amazing as friends, coworkers, mentors, philosophers, inspirers, teachers and SOs. :kitteh: :wink: :happy: :tongue:
> 
> TBH, I think NF’s perspectives truly complement mine on a deeper level. The NT – NF symbiosis/combination potential is outstandingly formidable in terms of evolution, development, growth, collaboration, understanding, progress and so on. People from both "temperaments" can learn a lot from one another. roud:


It's of course fantastic to hear, I often think of myself as revolving on the brink insanity and whiny-ness. It's nice to hear others consider feelers a joy roud:


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

As an INFP I seem to be drawn to the narcissist side of Te. OK, don't get me wrong I'm not saying everyone who uses Te is narcissist however Te as a function is confident and has a attraction about it that I admire. Te also helps me understand my own thinking, so yeah, XNTJ and I connect well and fast. I'm also attracted to those who can take control of their own emotions , Fi, it turns me on knowing I was choosen to be liked/loved, rather than because society says I should be , heh ( maybe a poor example but ya'll get it ). Te and Fi turn me on everysingletime <3


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## great_pudgy_owl (Apr 20, 2015)

Aelthwyn said:


> Yes and no. There is definitely something attractive about INT_s for me, however what I really long for is that kindred spirit connection and shared understanding of feelings that I can't say I've ever truly felt with Ts even those I've been very close with. It's not that I haven't connected emotionally at all with Ts, but... it's often when I'm most in need of an emotional touch that they have the hardest time being that, and I feel like my strongest point, my thing to offer... isn't necessarily what they need most at those times either. It's easy to feel a good connection in good times, but when differences come to a head in the hard times.... well that's not what I want to deal with for the rest of my life with my spouse. I may find NTs alluring, but I've really only had that 'I'm home' feeling with other feelers. I really enjoy plenty of T characters in books/movies, but even if they happen to be favorite characters, I often know that in real life we probably wouldn't get along that smashingly in certain respects anyway. What really attracts my heart is when I sense that gentle, understanding vibe that I've only found with feelers, Ts just have this edge to them that isn't really 'me' enough to feel really 'one' with. I dunno, that's not to say that theoretically there couldn't be a T that I could feel that with...maybe... but seems pretty unlikely to me at this point.
> 
> Anyways, I did marry a feeler and I _really_ appreciate his gentle caringness, after having been closest with my mom (ISTJ) and my best friend (INTJ) all my life... it is SO good to be living with a feeler who 'gets it' when I'm sad or excited or idealistic, etc. Of course it's not perfect understanding all the time, but for me anyways it's much better.


Really? Most I've met are very caring, but in a different way. Not sure how to put it exactly. Is it just a lack of understanding you mean? Some of the warmest (and most understanding) people I've met are will definitely put logic before feeling/ethics, they may have a different method of getting where they do, but they did understand me and the whys surrounding it. Not attempting to argue anything of course, it was great to the read the post.


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## great_pudgy_owl (Apr 20, 2015)

MuChApArAdOx said:


> As an INFP I seem to be drawn to the narcissist side of Te. OK, don't get me wrong I'm not saying everyone who uses Te is narcissist however Te as a function is confident and has a attraction about it that I admire. Te also helps me understand my own thinking, so yeah, XNTJ and I connect well and fast. I'm also attracted to those who can take control of their own emotions , Fi, it turns me on knowing I was choosen to be liked/loved, rather than because society says I should be , heh ( maybe a poor example but ya'll get it ). Te and Fi turn me on everysingletime <3


lol, I get what you mean. I said earlier, I love the often unintentional bluntness some have. I get that way too, but under conditional circumstances. I appreciate the utter honesty and rarely get offended by it oddly enough, oddly because I often talk as if I'm walking on eggshells.


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## Another Lost Cause (Oct 6, 2015)

I'm generally more attracted to feeling types. When I took the MBTI in a career counseling class, all of my friends who took the class with me were ENFPs. Feelers often have a quirkiness, enthusiasm, and intellectual curiosity about them that make them often seem more receptive to a subject than thinkers are. I also find the positive emotionality activating. 

I think a good example of this is when I had an interest in space elevators. The typical response from a thinker was "that will never happen." They often just came to opinions from a total position of ignorance. My ENFP friends though, they'd talk about the possibilities of it, even making hotel cars with big glass domes and floors for looking out at the Earth, etc. I also find it easier to talk to them about subjects like the MBTI and other personality/psychology theories.


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## great_pudgy_owl (Apr 20, 2015)

Another Lost Cause said:


> I'm generally more attracted to feeling types. When I took the MBTI in a career counseling class, all of my friends who took the class with me were ENFPs. Feelers often have a quirkiness, enthusiasm, and intellectual curiosity about them that make them often seem more receptive to a subject than thinkers are. I also find the positive emotionality activating.
> 
> I think a good example of this is when I had an interest in space elevators. The typical response from a thinker was "that will never happen." They often just came to opinions from a total position of ignorance. My ENFP friends though, they'd talk about the possibilities of it, even making hotel cars with big glass domes and floors for looking out at the Earth, etc. I also find it easier to talk to them about subjects like the MBTI and other personality/psychology theories.


Hmm, even if the possibility was small, it would still be _fun_ to think about it, that's how some of the best fiction and sci-fi comes about anyway...


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## Aelthwyn (Oct 27, 2010)

great_pudgy_owl said:


> Really? Most I've met are very caring, but in a different way. Not sure how to put it exactly. Is it just a lack of understanding you mean? Some of the warmest (and most understanding) people I've met are will definitely put logic before feeling/ethics, they may have a different method of getting where the do, but they did understand me and the whys surrounding it. Not attempting to argue anything of course, it was great to the read the post.


I don't mean to imply that Ts don't care, but.... in my experience they aren't good at communicating it in a way that really speaks to me. I can read them, sometimes their awkwardness with feelings can be endearing and cute, and I can understand that when they 'don't sugar-coat it' or when they jump in with troubleshooting advice instead of hugs, etc. I KNOW they mean well and that they care, but... I don't _feel_ loved, it's something I have to keep reminding myself which leads to the inevitable nagging little worry in the back of my head that maybe I'm just telling myself they care more than they really do because I want to believe it. And it gets draining always keeping my mental 'translator' open for consulting/filtering. 

When I'm sad or hurt, the balm my soul needs is a sweet voice saying 'awwww' and arms wrapped warmly around me. What I usually get from Ts is them looking awkward, telling me not to cry, telling me to get over it, telling me I'm over-reacting, telling me what they would do to fix it as if their solutions would necessarily work for me, telling me where I screwed up as if I didn't already know, etc. I don't feel comforted by any of this, it doesn't help me get past the woe so that I can even think about practical strategies or get over it. I feel a huge gulf between us when my feelings are repeatedly dismissed at the worst possible moments. They may try hard to provide emotional support, but it all too often falls short, and just knowing that they hate every minute of the gooey hug they're giving me because they know I need it even though inside they are struggling not to bombard me with advice.... I fully appreciate the care and effort, but it's just not what I want to settle for dealing with, it's so much work for both, it's so un-ideal, and it's never quiiiite enough. 

When I'm excited, I feel close with someone who will bounce and squee with me, who will enter into my feelings with me because my happiness makes them happy too. What I often get from Ts is them standing aloof rolling their eyes, feeling embarrassed by me, telling me to calm down. It feels like they don't really want me to ever be overjoyed... and while I may know that they do want the best for me, it's hard to really enjoy myself when I'm essentially being told not to. 

I will say the NTPs I've known have been a little better at feeling connection stuff and understanding than the TJs, but there still isn't _quite_ that same resonance for me, or feeling safe to just be me even at my worst moments, that I have with my feeler friends.

The understated expression of feeling, the calmness in the face of crisis, etc. can be attractive, but it's not _really_ what I want most.


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## Monty82 (Jan 18, 2016)

Flaming Bassoon said:


> I tend to like thinkers for women but feelers for men. I usually dislike a lot of ENFP females that I see IRL and in fiction because they remind me too much of myself. ENFP men are a different story, though...


ENFP men are a good or bad story for your type?


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## Monty82 (Jan 18, 2016)

I am struggling to understand this concept now personally. I met someone who is ESTJ and very successful. I am equally successful but am very ENFP. When we first met I was a little concerned but with time thought we'd learn to relate better. We like each other, we appreciate the strengths of the other... We just suck at talking about anything that isn't 'routine'.

In my ENFP I have a story about it:

Where do Penguins come from?

Imagine a swan (ENFP) is on the surface of a lake and spots a beautiful fish (ESTJ) at the surface of the water. They are attracted by their differences. They marvel at each other. However, they can't communicate well, can't fly together nor swim together. At most, they can connect at the lake surface to share with each other about their day. The fish can imagine what it is like to fly, the swan can imagine what it is like to swim... but neither will develop a deep appreciation for the other. Together though, they know the world from the clouds to the reefs and rocky surface of the pond. It's a unique predicament.

So yeah... that my two cents.


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## Lunaena (Nov 16, 2013)

A thinker balances my feelings. I do not go well with other feelers in romantic relationships because of my intense mood swings that are usually out of control.


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## Flaming Bassoon (Feb 15, 2013)

Monty82 said:


> ENFP men are a good or bad story for your type?


Good. Y'all are sexay. :wink:


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## Monty82 (Jan 18, 2016)

@Flaming Bassoon So you're not of the school of thought that two ENFP's would lose interest in each other?


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## Flaming Bassoon (Feb 15, 2013)

Monty82 said:


> @_Flaming Bassoon_ So you're not of the school of thought that two ENFP's would lose interest in each other?


I don't think so. We're generally interesting people.


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## Amelia (Aug 23, 2015)

This could be true. But... Here are my personal experiences.

First relationship was with an INFJ male and that lasted for 3 years. He was way too clingy and emotionally damaged, so it ended up being the downfall of our relationship. 

Now I date an ESTJ male with the emotional depth of a puddle. He's very reliable, but doesn't do well when it comes to affection or emotional intimacy. He's now trying harder to improve, because I finally opened up and told him that I do need affection and a listening ear quite often. 

In conclusion, I would prefer someone who has a well-developed, healthy F, or a warm and understanding T. It all comes down to the development and health of the person's personality, not the letter.


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## Windblownhair (Aug 12, 2013)

Monty82 said:


> Where do Penguins come from?
> 
> Imagine a swan (ENFP) is on the surface of a lake and spots a beautiful fish (ESTJ) at the surface of the water. They are attracted by their differences. They marvel at each other. However, they can't communicate well, can't fly together nor swim together. At most, they can connect at the lake surface to share with each other about their day. The fish can imagine what it is like to fly, the swan can imagine what it is like to swim... but neither will develop a deep appreciation for the other. Together though, they know the world from the clouds to the reefs and rocky surface of the pond. It's a unique predicament.
> 
> So yeah... that my two cents.


That's lovely and depressing and bittersweet. It reminds me of one of my favorite lines from Ever After.


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## Vox (Mar 16, 2012)

great_pudgy_owl said:


> From a personal prespective, my favorite TV characters are mainly on the thinker side, and often sensing. House, Tyrion, Doc Martin, most of the doctors from Doctor Who, Spock, April Ludgate (actually she seems like Fi) and Ron Swanson, Dr. Cox, Sister Evangalina, Mike Heck, etc. They're incredibly entertaining and I adore the bluntness. Thoughts?


As far as fictional characters go, the atypical, intelligent, cool, badass types are just generally well-liked. They're strong in most of the the ways people tend to like, while often having hidden soft sides (or people write soft sides into them on their own), and their "against the grain" personalities provide for a lot of entertaining interactions with more "normal" people. And you never have to personally go up against their searing wit, disregard for social norms, and the various schemes they concoct. All the fun without any of the pain that would come with actually knowing them. Not the case for all of the characters of this broad description, I grant, but there are plenty of assholish characters who do get a lot of love.

Regarding fictional characters, I (ENTP) almost invariably prefer ENPs. Following that I do have a preference for Thinkers.

For actual people, though, it's a little more complicated. Different types offer different dynamics, and each dynamic has its own pros and cons. Feelers tend to be all-around decent and work very well as more 'casual' friends. Most of my friends are actually Feelers because they just tend to be easier to befriend and feel comfortable around; however, they tend to fall a bit short when it comes to things that really hold me, like discussions/arguments and deep personal conversations. I'm not commenting on their level of competence or depth or anything, rather the style of thought. Both sides just get the feeling that neither is getting _entirely _through to the other person, like some meaning is lost in translation, or the communication just seems a little stiff and unnatural. Plus, I often end up accidentally offending them, and some Feelers can be rather reactive. I'm also not very good at offering emotional support to Feelers, however much I've been trying.

Thinkers, on the other hand, I sometimes find kind of lousy to hang around regularly. Great for long, intense conversations about whatever subject, but sometimes I want a casual conversation to just remain a casual conversation and not evolve into a complicated discussion about something or other. (I admit I'm also guilty of doing this sometimes, haha. >_>) Not usually the first people I'd consider for hanging out and having fun (aimed more toward T-doms, T-aux tends to be more relaxed), though I admit my view might be skewed somewhat by the Thinkers I personally know.

tl;dr I am _kind of _attracted to Feelers more than Thinkers, but if I don't take breaks from dem Feelers and talk to my Thinker brethren, I go bonkers.


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## great_pudgy_owl (Apr 20, 2015)

n/a


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## sundown (Feb 24, 2012)

Intelligence is sexy. That's what I think. Nothing to do with T/F.

There are many different reasons that different people are attracted to one another, I haven't found T/F to be a very useful measure, but maybe that's because my F and T (2nd and 3rd functions for me) are similarly developed. I guess I am not attracted to hard T's usually because they are often too non-humanistic in their values, but I can enjoy them as friends.

As an E, I find other E's either fun or grating, and I's are either annoyingly uncommunicative or very very interesting.
As an N, I find N's easy and enjoyable to communicate with, and S's challenging.
As a P I find J's either calmly grounding or irritatingly close-minded, and P's divergent or like-minded.

@_Vox_

Thanks for explaining what I was going to explain about fictional characters, and doing it better than I would have. The fictional protagonists I like the most are extreme rationalists: INTJ+ISTP to the max. I love watching their plans and schemes unfold, and I often find their social difficulties endearing.

Also, as an ENFP with an overdeveloped Te, my former best-friend ENTP and I had the best conversations ever, that could go on for days.

But you are right that it's easy for the F to be offended by the T at times, and from the F perspective, it can be overwhelming in large doses due to the amount of emotional labor involved. The relationship can work brilliantly though if the individuals have mutual respect for one another (and their limits) and can separate themselves from their beliefs for the sake of intellectual exploration.

@_Amelia_



> It all comes down to the development and health of the person's personality, not the letter.


Totally agree with this.


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## 318138 (Oct 1, 2015)

I definitely prefer people to be blunt and straightforward. If I ever need an opinion on something I always go to my thinker friends, cos I know they're telling me exactly what they're thinking.


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## Stray Parade (Oct 23, 2015)

My on-off relationship has been with an ISTJ. You can imagine why it has been so rocky, considering apart from being introverts, we have some strong differences and views on life/society in general. Despite showing love and affection in different ways also, it has been interesting to get to know someone who is so different than myself over the past five years. Many times I do find myself finding it difficult to adhere to their more structured way of thinking and hard-nosed, sometimes even cold way of viewing the human condition. For example, he expresses little sympathy for the homeless and those who live on social security, despite coming from a very difficult childhood themselves. He claims that those who struggle should work harder and not "suck the life out of the tax payer's pocket." While I have an understanding of where they're coming from, their concern for society being more material-oriented, I can't help but feel as if they are arrogant in some ways. He doesn't seem to like the lower class and also doesn't like the "1%" (but who likes them anyway?) as far as politics go either, so I guess he considers himself libertarian. I do try to explain things from the perspective of someone in a harder situation, as I also have had to live off the state growing up. He seems to get quiet and have an understanding at that moment, but then he's ranting about the same thing a day later. :dry:

That's just one example, though I could go on for days with the differences. I always try to concentrate on what we have in common. Just keep in mind that we have similar concerns for the world, we just handle them differently, and I realize that his heart is in the right place. He is always willing to help out his friends and family and often gets hurt when he doesn't feel appreciated in return.

I think what attracts me to him the most is that he is an honest, genuine person. Probably one of the most genuine human beings I have ever met. As our type is always seeking authenticity, this is an important aspect to someone we want to be around all the time. Unfortunately, while he is honest for the moment, it _is_ subject to change. He also has bipolar though, so I suppose that could play a hand in some things.

@Lsjnzy13
I agree with you on the seeking blunt advice. Thinkers really do seem to be honest in their assessments, without sugar-coating things to save your feelings. Sometimes this can be harshly done, but overall, I think it's good to have a solid thinker around who can shed some outsider perspective on a situation. The truth is the best thing, even if you don't like it. It's best to have your truth, their truth, and the in-between. It just sucks when they take it personally or affects their opinion of you when you don't take their advice.


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## Elvish Lives (Nov 29, 2013)

No, not really. I admire the cognitive abilities of thinkers, but I'm not attracted to them on a personal level at all. I have to feel some sort of emotional connection for me to experience true attraction. Thinkers just don't take me there. That's why I've never understood the fascination so many NFs have with the NTs.


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## Psychophant (Nov 29, 2013)

Stereotypical "thinker" behaviors are more traditionally masculine, while "feeler" behaviors are more feminine, so.. assuming you're a female NF, this doesn't surprise me... 

I might be biologically hardwired to slightly favor NT behavior (in terms of attractiveness), though extreme cases are just frustrating, and I think I'd much prefer to interact with those who I know share some core set of emotions and values; people who aren't mindless slaves to their emotions and acknowledge when they push them towards destructive behavior, but are also not totally free of them.  That says pretty crummy things about me, no doubt. I must be a mindful slave.


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## KC (May 5, 2011)

Huge part of my social circle consists of male Thinkers in general (INTPs and ISTPs) and when I've asked them whether if they'd prefer feelers or thinkers , close to all of them said they'd rather go with - Thinker Women.

The only exception was an ENTP who said he *also* had a thing for ENFPs as well but when he got together with who I presume would be an EXFP, they looked like they upset one another quite a bit, and he became very controlling. 

But going back to the majority, most of my guy thinker friends are pretty aloof and quite uncomfortable with handling the emotional drama that feelers sometimes can create. They're just not too sure of how to deal with all that emotion. 

And as for Fe-doms or aux, it could be more difficult cause we require some degree of affirmation and validation in our relationships and Thinkers can find this very easy to forget. 

As a guy, I think I can get down with an INTJ or an INTP girl but I would still much prefer a feeler partner instead. Then again, a thinker with a well-develop EQ or a feeler with strong IQ is definitely more appealing.


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## Arzazar Szubrasznikarazar (Apr 9, 2015)

Inspiration pairs are Se-Si, Te-Ti, Fe-Fi and Ne-Ni. So, the optimal attraction would be thinker to thinker and feeler to feeler.


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## peter pettishrooms (Apr 20, 2015)

Being around feelers gives me the opportunity to expand my viewpoints which is why I find some of them attractive. They give me new ways to look at things instead of being stuck and remaining stubborn over my opinions. They remind me that I need to be a little more open-minded. It's refreshing.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

For friendships, the most natural, easiest ones with the most mutual understanding are with xxFPs.

As for romance, IDK anymore. I think I dislike all types equally at this point . Men in general seem really touchy to me. I don't know what egos are easier to tiptoe around in romance, but I think P-dom _sometimes_ are easier than T or F dom, who have more issues with the T/F dichotomy within themselves. I think my most significant romantic relationships were with P-dominants (Pe & Pi), and we made it that far because, although very emotional, they were not so _delicate_.


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## Vahyavishdapaya (Sep 2, 2014)

NTs are fucking sexy. You have to give them a go. I think as a male NF I'm able to relate ever so slightly with female NTs in terms of being different from gender norms. Also they tend to be fairly intelligent.


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