# Shameless Ramblings



## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

IamAlexa said:


> First of all, nobody is weak or strong. These stereotypes become real when people believe them to be true. Don't believe that you are weak, and then you won't be weak.
> I have seen, that if a man is most handsome, he can be respected by most people and can have a big social circle. Men aren't as jealous as women. But if a woman is most beautiful, then she will be criticised, tortured (talking in feeling sense not in real sense) and neglected by every (99%) women. And even those women who come to her keep talking about how beautiful she is. Its never a genuine friendship.


I think all people are both weak and strong in most cases. 

Just depends with what. 

I do not really see it being bad to be weak or strong either way. 

I think you can do better embracing both sides of things


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

It is sorta sick how much pleasure I derived from training at my part time job yesterday.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I think it has been an ok week. For the most part. 

As far as the kiddos, and work. 

I am adjusting to switching to overnight shift and entertaining myself on the nights I am off. I like the job though.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Super annoyed with my friend atm.

She was just being incredibly negative. For every topic she tried to bounce from to ask how it was going I had a generally either neutral or positive reply so then she had to do the kick in the teeth and hit a low spot bringing up my eldest daughter struggling.

Seriously peeved at the friend atm.

I am probably going to blow her off the next few weeks.

I know she is going through a lot. But this seemed like an incredible low to sink to, just because I am not at your beckon call catering to your emotional needs. You could not find anything in my direct household to bring the energy down so you bring up a sore spot outside of my control that is painful. Fuck off. Grr.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I am really over that friends shit atm.

I have been there for her in many ways this last year. Often a listening ear, and going with her to doc visits for her special needs baby cuz the dad does not give a crap. And you want to drag shit outta thin air to kill my vibes when I say things are going ok, hitting on an obvious sore spot of things out of my control. Just because I did not validate you emotionally this week. Fuck off.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)




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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Went out for cig

First snow fall of the season


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

It looks glittery and fake


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Ugh this night is dragging on

Just want to get home and be snug under my blanket


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

@melody5697 

Hello 

I wanted to tell you that I NEVER meant to trigger you at all by my reply on the thread. And I am sorry for what followed. 

Also when I was saying referrals I meant more so for resources that can HELP. Not because I was trying to get you hospitalized. I was trying to be proactive. 

I think you may qualify for some better programming. I am not referring to psych. I am talking about programs that could be of assistance to you. I think if you asked your therapist if they had resources to a social worker that may be able to assist you to get in some resource programming it could help with your self esteem a tad. Maybe lift your spirits. When I said you should confide to your therapist I meant that you have had thoughts of ideation and feeling that way about your existence, and explain the it is making it harder to get a job. 

I will leave it at that. I just never got to reply to you. I hope you are ok.


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## melody5697 (Apr 19, 2015)

shameless said:


> @melody5697
> 
> Hello
> 
> ...


It's okay. Sorry for jumping to conclusions and overreacting and making you worry.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

My tits are lactating again.

I am one of those weird women that could feed the village children 20 years after giving birth if there is ever an apocalypse

I will not have insurance for another month. But that is not a good sign for my pituitary glands if I am producing prolactin. just will hope not a tumor. A tumor would explain quite a bit though in memory, behavior, and hormones though. 

Or I am going through menopause really early. I will just hope it is this option.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

On the upside my tits look amazing


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## 98403942 (Feb 10, 2021)

You work and you're not gonna have insurance for another month? Talk to somebody. I work as a telephonic interpreter, people get insurance all the time. Are you holding on for a better coverage plan? 

Ps. Vibing to that first snowfall of the season like crazy. Such end of the world humans gone without a trace feel to it.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

MH17 said:


> You work and you're not gonna have insurance for another month? Talk to somebody. I work as a telephonic interpreter, people get insurance all the time. Are you holding on for a better coverage plan?


I just have to wait for enrollment at my work to join. It opens and closes at certain points. Then I will get it situated just a waiting game. 



MH17 said:


> Ps. Vibing to that first snowfall of the season like crazy. Such end of the world humans gone without a trace feel to it.


 Yeah that was the way it felt. Serene and it was super quiet.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

My current skill level is here (except I am on inline skates, not roller skates)






Takes ALOTTA strength to pull yourself up gracefully, and rotate from the ground. Took me about a month of practicing to be able to do it.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Practicing to get to this level. I hope to be to this level by age 40. Got one year.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

My coworker on the same shift but other wing is annoying.

Nothing insufferable. I have worked with worse.

But it really irritated me how her karen like daily bitching and moaning sent a young girl from the prior shift out the door embarrassed.

Seriously your life is so flippin whatever you have to bitch on what you are going to do because two 17yr olds used the strawberries up. Geesh who the fuck cares.

Always the most mundane shit is the end of the world. When I replied telling her I felt bad for the young girl who overheard her complaining because that young girl tries and works hard. She still kept going on and on trying to justify her absurd behavior to girls half our age bitchy about the dumbest shit ever.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I have been working really hard at lowering my anxiety levels. I have noticed my body has started to relax more. I have noticed being more mindful is helping me not physically take on as much shitty energy from others as prior. And I redirect it better. In the last few months.

A good example of improvement would be crazy karen coworker. While I am bothered by her behavior being so toxic to make someone half our age feel like crap at probably their first job ever. At least I am not taking on this girls hypertension into my own body.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I did something more bold than normal. Which I will continue to do moving forward, Because if they want me they will want me. and if they do not, I am not losing anything. I put 2 dollars more than the listed max price when I applied to for a crisis intervention youth case manager role. Guess I want to know if I get hired for the role they can pay for my fucken therapy. And if not ok I am good and have a job.


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

shameless said:


> I did something more bold than normal. Which I will continue to do moving forward, Because if they want me they will want me. and if they do not, I am not losing anything. I put 2 dollars more than the listed max price when I applied to for a crisis intervention youth case manager role. Guess I want to know if I get hired for the role they can pay for my fucken therapy. And if not ok I am good and have a job.


Nice! I did that once. Thought I was being so riskay (asking five over my current salary), and was shocked when they accepted my offer. 

Asking your desired wage is so awkward to me. I never know how much to value myself as without coming off as arrogant, or lowballing myself. Aren't companies going to start posting their wages publically or something? It would help to know the range a company pays for a specific position (min - max) so you can evaluate and make an offer based on your skills and experience, that's also within what they're willing to pay.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I won my pick of a goodie bag drawing for picking up some shifts at work. So I picked an Ipad to give my daughter a bonus gift for christmas. So kinda cool bonus


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## Ms. Aligned (Aug 26, 2021)

Score! That's awesome! I won one of my kids a free cell phone from one of those stacker games once, felt like a million bucks. Lol! 

That's really cool though, also that your company values its employees that much.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Ms. Aligned said:


> Score! That's awesome! I won one of my kids a free cell phone from one of those stacker games once, felt like a million bucks. Lol!
> 
> That's really cool though, also that your company values its employees that much.


Thanks  Yeah it was kind of a nice timing to be reminded some people do appreciate small things. I agree the owner of the company works with everyone so I respect this lady quite a bit as far as the ma and pa set up. I wish more people treated employees like she does. She is incredible.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Have to get caught up on some bills. Outcome of a few bad choice positions last summer that did not work out. So had to pick up alotta extra shifts at work the next few weeks.

Con: I am getting to old to work 100 hrs labor on the ground, not spring chick anymore. Tired thinking bout it.

Pro: The adrenaline will definitely snap me back into forced motivation


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

So so sleepy. Want my bed. 32 hrs at work in 48hrs. I am too old for dis shit. After the holidays I am done signing up for extra work. Do my crap n go home. 

This weekend will be worse though.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I mean I am just glad she is involved in stuff and has interests. 

It can be exhausting picking up and dropping off my daughter to/from dungeon & dragons club, robotics, drama production, and her job in between my work schedule. I mean obviously nothing unmanageable. Just interrupts a lot of sleep. Rather whine about lack of sleep than about potential other concerns, so that is the pro. When she gets her license I will be grateful.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

My daughters puppy is really cute.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

My mother really disappointed me. I blame myself though for thinking she was trying to be a more compassionate less narcissistic person. It is my fault for dropping my guard down with her and letting her weasel her way in. I'd dropped my guard down more recent with her because she put up the front she was trying to turn a new leaf and be kinder in her relationships.

I happened to get really good news on a job offer. When I was actually excited because they offered me a few dollars more an hour than another place with the same position, my mother basically stomped all over that. Questioning how I would be able to afford to live. She does not work. My step dad makes six figures, my bro makes six figures, and my sis makes just under six figures. Both of my siblings do not have children so they have a lot more flexibility on location and availability within their lives to be career focused. My stepdad used to work 2 full time jobs at lower incomes to support the household.

So it is frustrating to have her be so sideways when I was stating I was happy I would be making a little more, with less responsibility. Also frustrating she is comparing apples and oranges. I work in human services, my siblings work in pipeline, and housing construction fields.

I told her she should go look on indeed to see what the local area pays for positions outside skilled certifications.

She then went on to talk about how her and my stepdad have 5k in expenses every two weeks (which is a knock at what I make), and how do I even survive. I told her due to keeping my expenses incredibly low with discipline over the years I have money to spare on a lower wage, so this increase will be an extra boast.

I am just sickened by her.

She then changed the subject to talking about weight and diet comparing her and her cousin both almost 60 for an extended time. Just boring and shallow. I think she is just jealous. Oh well learned my lesson, back to generic exchanges and walls up. I can say I tried to give the benefit of the doubt.

I think probably a lot of the performance anxiety and workaholism I had was due to being knocked down by her no matter what. But I guess I recognize she is just jealous of me. I am proud of myself. I did not exactly need her to be proud of me, maybe just not make me feel like shit about a good thing and a win in my book.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I wish I had better Ni. 

I choose to trust my gut though. Rather than try to guess with Ni with this job shit. 

Like I hope I picked the Right pick and will not kick myself for skipping out on 15k. Crosses fingers I am finally using my se wisely


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

My daughter said this is me & my mother


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Phew. I feel like I am going to fall over. 

Yay almost done.

By the time I am done tomorrow morning I will have worked 90 hours on the floor this week doing cares. That is alotta hours on the floor doing straight cares for my old ass.

But I will have a fat ass check. I won my daughter an ipad for christmas. I get 5 days off after tomorrow. And I start a pretty good job in 2 weeks.

Bonus I was offered double shift at this current job next week on Christmas Eve. OT ontop of holiday pay, eh yes please.


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## JennyJukes (Jun 29, 2012)

Take care of yourself @shameless. I used to do 60+ hour shifts plus sleepovers. Barely had a day off. I could do it then in my 20s but my colleague used to do the same until she had a heart attack in her 50s which she feels working too much contributed to. 

Hope your new job isn't as demanding and you enjoy your time off 👌


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

JennyJukes said:


> Take care of yourself @shameless. I used to do 60+ hour shifts plus sleepovers. Barely had a day off. I could do it then in my 20s but my colleague used to do the same until she had a heart attack in her 50s which she feels working too much contributed to.
> 
> Hope your new job isn't as demanding and you enjoy your time off 👌


Thank you. You’re very right. I agree.

I truly decided after this stint I am done with excessive back to back labor ever again. I am just getting too old. Like you said health risks to factor in being most important. Even aside from that outside getting caught up, and ahead on somethings just now I have no financial or even ego need to work like that anymore on the ground that many hours ever again longterm, let a lone again. It is too taxing mentally and emotionally too. Originally way back when I had started working excessive back in the day it was necessity. Later it ended up being just a lifestyle or addiction. So when these shifts came along now later I think it os good just to be like no, you have more to live for longer term than work.

Thanks btw bout the job. I been meaning to comment back to ya in a few threads just well crazy week lol. The job I just got that I will start, is not longterm cares, so not hoyer lifts, not stands, not transferring bodies,and not rolling people changing them. I took the longterm care job so I could be more thorough and picky with looking for a main job so I would stop having to take crappy jobs. 

I will be operations and compliance auditor, client case manager, and emergency response person for mainly those in rehabilitation of crisis homes, behavioral health, or addiction recovery. So not cares. Also not 24/7 services so I work business hours mostly. . You work in a similar type of thing right?


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## JennyJukes (Jun 29, 2012)

I feel you. I worked many hours when I was with my ex because it meant getting away from him. I also felt a "duty" to because if I didnt, my clients would get agency staff to come in for a shift meaning the clients would have yet another stranger giving them personal care. My main clients were two disabled sisters but only physically, they were all there cognitively, and I cant imagine how degrading it must feel to have strangers wash you and feed you. I wouldnt like it. So I felt a sense of duty and responsibility. And I had amazing hard working colleagues so we all did our part. It's when you had agency staff who couldnt keep up or didnt know the routine, or treated the sisters like they were mentally impaired it was difficult

Oh don't sweat it about not responding, it's not something I keep tabs on! 

Yes, right. I did the same. Hands on care long hours weekends sleepovers. I moved to a homeless charity but its not hands on, its rights awareness, challenging legal decisions etc. No weekends. No overtime. No back braking stuff. Just stressful in other ways. The good thing about care is theres always a job there if you need it but I'd rather not go back to it tbh. But totally respect people who can do it for so long. My mom did but she has slipped discs from all the manual moving. Idk how people do this to retirement age. I twisted my back transferring someone with equipment on carpet. Your new job sounds much better though- doubt you'll ever look back!


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)




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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

And of course

A trip a few blocks away to get my daughter from work in the snow, ended up with a fucken quarter stuck in the gear shifter and having to pull apart all the fucken casing from my front compartment 🤬.

After pulling the rubber out of the shifter it could at least switch gears again. Quarter still stuck for now. Too fucken cold and snowy to bother trying to get that out atm.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Omfg 

Work night from hell. Worked with a very amateur green grasshopper nurse. Oh my lord.

Ya know almost every nurse I work with I stay in my lane. But geezus, seriously for fucks sake.

Every damn horror scenario for a week happened in a night.

When she stupidly told me to transfer someone off the floor to a wheelchair, then to a bed I pretended I was stupid and cannot hear and just transferred them to the bed.

Um yeah we dont need another fall on your wing within 5 minutes cuz ya tell me to move someone from a laying hoyer position to a wheel chair.

And seriously then I gotta tell ya we have to get someone out of bed to change bloody sheets

Sigh and this is what online covid nursing education has apparently provided.

Good grief I am scared for our future in society. I cant even.

Sigh

One more week and I go back to case management.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

My heads fucken pounding

My first covid test today came up inconclusive. Not that it makes difference either way everyone is already infected and there is no available non sick people left.

They are going to end up having to pay us extra just to work infected and take care of all the infected


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

shameless said:


> My heads fucken pounding
> 
> My first covid test today came up inconclusive. Not that it makes difference either way everyone is already infected and their is no available non sick people left.
> 
> They are going to end up having to pay us extra just to work infected and take care of all the infected


Time to call in sick


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

shameless said:


> Sigh and this is what online covid nursing education has apparently provided.
> 
> Good grief I am scared for our future in society. I cant even.


You would make perfect frenz with me and my INTJ gang coz we talk shit about incompetent n00bs everyday :3


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

shameless said:


> My mother really disappointed me. I blame myself though for thinking she was trying to be a more compassionate less narcissistic person. It is my fault for dropping my guard down with her and letting her weasel her way in. I'd dropped my guard down more recent with her because she put up the front she was trying to turn a new leaf and be kinder in her relationships.
> 
> I happened to get really good news on a job offer. When I was actually excited because they offered me a few dollars more an hour than another place with the same position, my mother basically stomped all over that. Questioning how I would be able to afford to live. She does not work. My step dad makes six figures, my bro makes six figures, and my sis makes just under six figures. Both of my siblings do not have children so they have a lot more flexibility on location and availability within their lives to be career focused. My stepdad used to work 2 full time jobs at lower incomes to support the household.
> 
> ...


Lmao ur mom just sounds like the stereotypical Asian mom, all these Asian moms who are friends with my mom like to compare me with their kids, constantly like ohh look, my son is the doctor, what ur son do??? Or daughter, u have a long way to go to catch up to Judgement, look how well he’s doing!? I’m like no matter where u are in life, there’s always someone better than u and someone worse, keep comparing and ur never be happy, then they laugh at me “hahahahahaha, this must be the western dreamer mentality.” Can’t even see what’s going on around him, hahahahahahana.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

ENTJudgement said:


> Time to call in sick


I tried

90% of staff and residents have it

I had to come in because the nurse on has it. We need a nurse here legally so she is no contact.

I have now taken 3 tests that all came up inconclusive. Ffs how is everyone else around me positive and I have never tested positive on one of those damn things.


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

shameless said:


> I tried
> 
> 90% of staff and residents have it
> 
> ...


Did u try different tests? Like different manufacturers


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

ENTJudgement said:


> Lmao ur mom just sounds like the stereotypical Asian mom, all these Asian moms who are friends with my mom like to compare me with their kids, constantly like ohh look, my son is the doctor, what ur son do??? Or daughter, u have a long way to go to catch up to Judgement, look how well he’s doing!? I’m like no matter where u are in life, there’s always someone better than u and someone worse, keep comparing and ur never be happy, then they laugh at me “hahahahahaha, this must be the western dreamer mentality.” Can’t even see what’s going on around him, hahahahahahana.


Omfg I cannot stand this keeping up with jones crap

Yes that is how my mother is. Everything is a measuring contest


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

shameless said:


> Omfg I cannot stand this keeping up with jones crap
> 
> Yes that is how my mother is. Everything is a measuring contest


If only your mom was Chinese, she’d fit in so well.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

ENTJudgement said:


> Did u try different tests? Like different manufacturers


Working on it. Going to walk to other wing to see if the nurse is still conscious. Poor thing is sicker than I feel.


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## Kintsugi (May 17, 2011)

Take care of yourself! 🤗

Is everyone sick with Covid, or is it other seasonal viruses as well? Sounds like a nightmare


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Kintsugi said:


> Take care of yourself! 🤗
> 
> Is everyone sick with Covid, or is it other seasonal viruses as well? Sounds like a nightmare


Thank you. 

Yeah they all have covid

I just tested negative about 10 minutes ago.

So I guess I am just this weird person who is surrounded by it and tests negative🤷‍♀️. It has happened several times now in the last three years where I was surrounded by a bunch of people who tested positive and then felt the symptoms and some how test negative


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## Kintsugi (May 17, 2011)

shameless said:


> Thank you.
> 
> Yeah they all have covid
> 
> ...


Strange! As far as I know I've not caught it yet. But at the beginning of the Pandemic Australia didn't have many cases, and then when it got worse here I was trying my best to avoid it as my Ex had major surgery & I was having to help care for her.

Anyway, sounds like you're sick with something regardless. Hope you feel better soon!


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Gawd I HATE watching people die of cancer


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Texted a few hrs before work to say I could not move. Was asked if I tested positive yet. Which the answer was still no then. Was told there was no one else to come in. So to come and just do cares only for the residents as the ones that require cares are already confirmed cases. And not to worry about any other tasks or duties.

Had fever when I came in but slammed bottle of powerade, and sat by fire to sweat out and break the fever.

So an hour ago, I finally tested positive on my 5th Covid test in 2 days.

Sounds weird but at this point I was like come on, please test positive so you legit can call in and sleep this off. Pretty damn hard to do cares when every bone in your body aches and you are delirious

A lady with dementia who has it is so delirious she keeps trying to walk into other sleeping residents rooms. Trying to regulate and police that while all foggy brained and cannot move is next to impossible

 I cannot wait to start my new job next week, although that will have to get put off by a few days. Thank gawd it is not 24/7 care and is a field and desk job during business hours where if I have illness I can just fucken call in like a normal person.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Oh fuck thank gawd 

Home with a day off to sleep and sweat this shit off.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

My daughter is laughing at me for wanting to watch Marley & Me

We agree on thriller, murder mystery, utopian society movies

But if I just mention an animal or rom com I gotta get laughed at

She just read the synopsis to me and laughed at me. She is a meanie


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I got even When she tried to torture me with a fucken Matilda musical

NOOOOOOOO

If we cannot watch Marley & Me, I am not ever watching Into the Woods again, or Matilda the musical


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Dating sites nowadays be like

Vaxed, She/He, ENM, Ravenclaw, Sub, ENFP, RIAEC, Agreeable, ACAB, Queer, Fury, Liberal, must love dogs


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)




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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

A reason why one should not change jobs often

You will end up doing a bazillion hours of the same mandatory module trainings in a years time 

fml


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

🤣


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I have to stay up all day so I can reverse my schedule back off of ovenrights schedule to days again


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

It is my first day at this new job. Actually kinda nervous which is outta character for me. I would say it is a good sign.


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## Kintsugi (May 17, 2011)

shameless said:


> It is my first day at this new job. Actually kinda nervous which is outta character for me. I would say it is a good sign.


Hope it goes well! 🙂


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Kintsugi said:


> Hope it goes well! 🙂


Thank you.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I was kinda bummed today when I logged onto facebook for the first time in like a month. I saw a post by my older sis doing a tribute post to our dad, and on the post a long time family friend said "you carry on the best of him". I really find that family friends comment obnoxious. I also find my sisters continuous tribute posts to our dead dad a decade later obnoxious. She made a tribute post to our dead dad on my birthday too. I basically steer away from Facebook because so much underlined bs all over it by people. Annoying ass shit.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

On the upside. I am digging my new job. I like the actual job itself, right up my alley. But I also really like the set up. I am excited. Basically my specific position was just created because of a grant approval and new department that is getting piloted. So I will not only be doing service planning. But more specific I will be in the piloted program for outsourcing and consultation with other companies in audits, compliance and corrections order with continuity planning. So I am super excited to work on that side of things. So 1/2 my time is on the ground with intensive care clients, 1/2 service planning in new department. Sweet.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Super excited to be fully done at the Assisted Living after tonight.

Main reason is just cuz juggling the two jobs between night and day is exhausting

But also just cuz I want a life again after working a shit ton the last 3 months, it will be nice to just work 30-50 hr work weeks during the day again

Then I can actually start meeting up with my friends who have all been put on wait list because I have had no time

Plus can actually get back to my skating

Can actually plan nice homey quality family meals again with my daughter at least twice a week.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Was able to get my kiddos some pretty nice ass thermo insulated winter boots that should be good for rec or practical use through adult hood.

Got em some timeless thermo insulated Hunter Mud Boot for rain and light snow

Also got em each thermo sorel boot for activity and emergency use

Fuck nice boots are expensive but now they have a few pairs for dif kinda of weather

Still gotta update all our snow pants next pay check


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Anxious a tad about paying 10k outta pocket for my eldests room and board during her 4month courses and of course the program instruction, and books.

I just hope she understand how hard I worked to be able to do it and does not squander the opportunity.

The plan is to get her esthetician program done so she has a trade certification under her belt and can make an at least comfortable livable wage working in either skin clinics or spas or whatever affording her the ability then to pay her cost of living and then still complete university in the mean time

I want to do it for her. I would rather pay for this now so she can enroll in finanical aid toward university insteada have the debt from the certification. I just hope she takes it seriously and understands how much overtime and ass I have wiped this year to pay for that.

She has worked on herself quite a bit though and grown quite a bit. Just hope her boyfriend or silly drama does not end up distracting her.
10k is just alotta direct cash to put down when you do not have a second income contributing to your household bills etc

Crosses fingers and hopes she appreciates how hard I worked to make this happen for her to have a leg up in life

Thank goodness my youngest is working on her nursing certification post secondary while it is free in highschool so she has that upon highschool graduation as her leg up while she is in university. But she wants to go to europe as her highschool grad gift and is already talking and planning it. Which will easily be 10k+ too.

I laugh at my friends complaining about the cost of diapers and forumla. Haha just wait. Until you are spending $600 on winter boots and paying for books and admissions.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I will say at least my kids are aware enough and not fricken entitled. Seeing some of this nightmare crap everywhere with fricken abled people mooching off their parents close to the age of 30. Geezus. My 15 yr old wants to work for her resume on her own accord and to have extra cash flow. She does not have to work her needs are met and her dad would give her cash for extras with friends. She just has initiative to feel like she earns somethings and takes pride in earning some of her own income. Glad my complaint is driving her to work and picking her up to/from all her activities. So thank goodness both my kids work on their school and job contributing to their own lives and not thinking they should rely solely on me without working with me to make things happen for themselves. Thank goodness they have a sense of self respect. I will look at that as the silver lining while I work my ass off to try to contribute to pay for what I can. Thank gawd my kids are not entitled sloths. We have our issues but thank gawd they have pride and respect for pulling their weight in a family


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Ok done bitching about fucken money today


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

On a more upbeat note.

My new job is fucken awesome

50% of time is on the ground with occupation therapy and recreational therapy. So I get paid to go to the YMCA during work and get in free. Bonus!

Then 50% is audits, compliance, and consulting edits on external case management docx from desk which is hybrid of remote, office, and out in field. So do not have to travel in blizzard and can do work in my robe and jammies watching TV on couch.

I like my new job cuz the owners are legit as fuck. They are not just millionaires who bought a license to operate. One is a licensed nurse and one a licensed psych. So because the business operates under their direct license they are more invested in quality assurance/services. My boss the exec director also is legit because she was a social worker with our county for 20 years so due to that she is utilizing her contacts hence cares about her reputation and the integrity in the services we bill for.

So awesome possum they were approved for new grant and I get to work exclusive on the external corrections orders for the other businesses not passing licensing and consultations. Super excited.

So I literally get to do my two favorite things. Client engagement and programming with rec, community, occupation, activity development and then quality assurance, and business continuity. So everything I love without hassle of managing fricken staff. 

I think my boss is ESTP 7w8. I look like an introvert next to her.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Eh yeah so that was fucken weird. I Guess I cannot post anymore if I am just half asleep waking up and inbetween waiting/stopping and driving. Without making a technical mistake and being told I am such a piece of shit I deserve to be treated like a piece of shit by others. 

FUCK YOU asshole. Spread that toxic negative rude bull shit energy somewhere else.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

What in the actual fuck was that

How did a thread about Lana Del Rey and some mistyped ENFP mistyping Lana Del Rey as ENFP come down to some rando fucken telling me I deserve shade because I said oopsy over a fucken technical error

i am so baffled and have no clue what this persons psychotic deal is


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

i mean i will own when i am obnoxious and attract hate 

but attracting hate when i am doing jack shit 

just trying to breath and bring down my anxiety after whatever that was


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Most days I take shit at my expense in stride, and laugh it off, play it down, or just move on and ignore. But fuck sometimes my skin gets thin too.


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## Shodan (Nov 17, 2016)

shameless said:


> Most days I take shit at my expense in stride, and laugh it off, play it down, or just move on and ignore. But fuck sometimes my skin gets thin too.


I keep telling myself "it's just forum shit, whatever" every time, but the last time something like that happened I was feeling awful for -3 days straight-.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Shodan said:


> I keep telling myself "it's just forum shit, whatever" every time, but the last time something like that happened I was feeling awful for -3 days straight-.


Yeah I think sometimes when we have misunderstandings it can just drain us and sometimes we never even know why. 
Sometimes it may not even be the incident itself where a misunderstanding is sparked. But maybe even the lead up and the things that accumulate. Interactions are tricky. Sorta like a dance. Some people dance well together, and some just do not.


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## Shodan (Nov 17, 2016)

shameless said:


> Some people dance well together, and some just do not.


amen


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

shameless said:


> I just hope she understand how hard I worked to be able to do it and does not squander the opportunity.


Always a struggle as the provider, work so hard to earn so little trying to give your kid the best opportunities so he/she doesn't have to struggle as much as you only to worry they may squander the opportunity, I know I've done that in the past but I would say that it was partially that gesture which kept me away from the b.s and bad habits other kids struggled with and kept me on path regardless of how lazy I was.


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