# I feel unfairly treated by my boyfriend



## Aya the Abysswalker (Mar 23, 2012)

exarlate said:


> Why would you feel like he's slowly breaking? Do you know him? I assure you we have a really fine relationship. If I would be breaking him, I'm really sure I would notice. I notice things. I really try not to be emotionally demanding to a point where I might be too independent at times. I really try not to be unfair. I think this was a question of balance, both were guilty to an extent. We are still only talking about ONE incident, ONE exception. He "had" to meet up with his friend because they decided to the day before and because that's what they do, no specific reason really. I don't want him to ditch his friends for me. That really wouldn't be fair. I'm just asking for support when I need it. Really it's easy.
> Besides, all is well now anyway. I still feel like he missed my point but he still tells me those heartwarming things at night. He's telling me he's missing me all the time, how could he be breaking?
> I'm not askig for much really, but beig able to trust is crucial for me


I'm only saying what I think from what you posted. You asked for people's option.


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## exarlate (Jul 16, 2013)

Aya the Whaler said:


> I'm only saying what I think from what you posted. You asked for people's option.


I did, and I'm really grateful, but I don't like misunderstandings.


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## NeonPinkDot (Apr 14, 2013)

Okay, please don't take offence to what I'm going to say because I mean it as advice. You posted on the advice forum and so people will give you their opinions about what you should do or what they think about the situation. Just because you don't agree with them, it doesn't mean that they don't understand or that their opinion is wrong. You should take their advice with a pinch of salt for what it is as everyone posting on this thread is trying to help you. Most people are giving objective opinions, and in situations like these that is the best advice you can get. Don't only listen or accept posts that fall into your view of what you want the outcome of the situation to be if that makes sense.

Referring to the situation to your boyfriend, I don't think you should judge his actions so hardly. Boys are different to girls, and therefore so is the way they deal with relationships. Generally girls are not always upfront with how they feel, and instead hope that their boyfriends will pick up on what they feel. Boys in turn, generally don't get the subtle hints and therefore are often called "uncaring" when really they are not. Your boyfriend might not understand how you fell to the extent that you think he does. Rather be clear with your communication with him, and do it in person to avoid future confusion and misunderstandings. 

The boy also seems to love you a lot, so easily dismiss him. Also keep in mind that he needs his space, as you do, to spend time with his friends or even alone. Especially since you spent 3 days together before. Also, happiness should come from yourself so don't rely too heavily on your boyfriend to cheer you up. You need to learn to deal with all of you emotions, and what would be the best way to alleviate the heaviness of them. Maybe confiding in someone like a psychologist or a councillor would help you with this. Its horrible to be in the middle of a dysfunctional family, I know, but try not to transfer your negative feelings onto your relationship with your boyfriend.

Lastly I would say that take into account your boyfriends feelings. I know from experience that its extremely hard on the boyfriend in situations like these. This is because we often tend to take the burdens of our loved ones onto our shoulders as well, which can start to affect us too. He loves you so he probably feels really useless if he cannot help you. 

I hope this gives you another perspective, and helps you.
Goodluck


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## Dao (Sep 13, 2013)

This still seems silly. Turning away a partner who has sought your support (the seeking of which the poster has already stressed is highly irregular) because you are expecting someone who is to arrive _several hours later _is being lazy and uninvolved. Incidentally, a partner who cannot handle a few days together is not long-term relationship material. It would be a different story if the poster were constantly keeping her partner up due to her problems; I am not certain why many commenters are automatically assuming this was the case.


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## NeonPinkDot (Apr 14, 2013)

Well considering this is their first relationship, I don't think it is so irregular. I doubt anyone goes through their first relationship without miscommunication and hiccoughs. What I am trying to say is that there may be another reason as to why he is acting the way is other than he is lazy or treating her unfairly. I'm not saying that the way he acted is right as there were many different ways in which he could have handled it better but relationships are about learning about one another, and sometimes it takes time.


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