# Taking the final shot



## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

Aloha! Join the party :biggrin-new: Searching has brought me down quite few types I could definitely consider myself being. How do I pick the correct one? *Tips, questions, thoughts?* 
I'll come up with some both basic and additional information about myself later nthego: Yet there are already people who are, to some extent, familiar with me and, at the moment, I am willing to see what you might suggest. Don't be shy, I don't bite.


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

*Posts you might want to consider*


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heavydirtysoul said:


> I remember being the healthiest and mostly in peace with myself at the age of 20. I find no use in thinking about the past, but things were quite different back then, if you think about it. I was a lot simpler than now.
> Back then, I’ve lost a person I deeply cared about and was inspired by - my grandmother. The day I got to know, she was in hospital, unconscious, I told myself “It’s awful and devastating, but there is nothing I'd be able to do to change the fact. There is no actual use in being sad or displaying feelings of loss and resentment, as it has no real use - it simply _will not change anything_.”
> Waking up earlier the next day, starting to do usual things I do - plan, take action, succeed.
> I came to the hospital the day I was told she was still unconscious and at a very bad condition, I knew she was dying and there was _nothing_ I could do about it. When she did, I was overwhelmed by the pain and emptiness on the inside, but I shoved it down, never showing anybody I suffer. To be honest, I didn't care that people around me were waiting for an emotional response, _I didn't think it mattered_. I kept it rational keeping myself busy with goals and activities. Slightly remember thinking to myself back then “_Emotions have no use. _I feel what I feel and I am perfectly aware of own emotional state on the inside, but the state I'm in doesn’t have to do _anything_ with the flow of life and the outer world. _I’ve got to keep things going_, life goes on, time flies. Feelings have no weight on the _real_, actual world, they only matter to me, therefore have no use. Strategy, planning and, most importantly, action is what truly, essentially matters.”
> ...





heavydirtysoul said:


> I do play with people sometimes. Not because I am mainly interested in people themselves, but to test my own capabilities, to learn, to gain power.





heavydirtysoul said:


> I find it nonsensical to preoccupy mind with memory, expectation and hope. There is no other experience than the present experience - concerning yourself with such things as others’ opinion is pretty much equal to being out of touch with reality. To be frankly honest, expectation, from both, external and internal sources, is no other than the root of constant chaos and endless misery - it makes simple things complicated, irrational and delusive. I always choose control over fallacy.





heavydirtysoul said:


> Being in a relationship is odd. As a reserved communicator, I find myself not being adept at dealing with emotions and have a hard time dwelling on emotional experience. However, being in the relationship with the partner I’ve previously known for half a lifetime, I find myself at a contradictory, contrasting path.
> 
> First and foremost, I do understand that an emotion is a temporary, alternating phenomena, therefore, a long-term commitment is a relative, controversial notion. I’ve got to embrace and admit I am not a “traditional relationship” person, instead, I am more inclined to seek novelty, take risks, keep things unpredictable, require fresh challenges, yet remain practical and analytical on a day-to-day basis. As far as I can say, I _am_ in love with Him, but there is a time-space framework he ignores completely. From my belvedere, the relationship is crazy and amazing at the same time; I can clearly see he is very into emotional communications, and whenever I am affected at the moment as well, my mouth has got a mind of its own, I want to share, I want to expand, which is not typical of me in any case, I don’t talk – I think, I process, I solve. Something tells me it’s for the better, yet the inconsistency frights me – love for the power of intense experiences and thrills we share together and not being able to respond with the similar desire for commitment, warmth and emotionality, on the contrary.
> 
> ...





heavydirtysoul said:


> _There is_ something to be said about the relationship, as it, no doubt, has been the most unsucessful "project" of mine, leaving me moody, drained, unfocused and thrown out of balance. Starting the relationship, I've been on the edge of extrinsic youthful idealism, thinking any matter can be fixed with few smart chess moves.
> 
> However, the man I was in a relationship with appeared to be narcissistic, vague, emotionally immature, unmanageble, always twisting the facts, weak, inflexible and unfulfilled. No ambition, no long-term planning, no desire to work hard and move forward, whatsoever.
> 
> ...





heavydirtysoul said:


> *0. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.*
> Female, 22 years old.
> 
> *1. Click on this link: Flickr: Explore! Look at the random photo for about 30 seconds. Copy and paste it here, and write about your impression of it.*
> ...





heavydirtysoul said:


> I have to admit that I am extremely fastidious and picky about my surroundings. It is hard for me to focus and to get the work done for as long as the atmosphere is not flawless; room has to be clean, there has to be quiet music, flowers, the light must be perfectly matched, depending on what I'm doing etc. I'm not only talking about the cleanliness of the room - it has to be a comfortable, perfect little world of my own corresponding to my inner self in which I will be able to concentrate. Until then I am having a big trouble staying focused at a job and get absolutely bombarded with distractions.


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## JpKoff (Oct 30, 2017)

Hello !

I haven't had previous interaction with you but based on your quotes I'd say you look like a core 3, self-preservation variant. And a ExTJ.
(competency and assertiveness, goal-oriented, able to suppress feelings, feeling empty at times)
With less certainty I'd guess your tritype as 368. 
I'm not able to guess N/S but I'd lean toward S because your writing looks efficiently "to the point" and not the fucked-up smorgasbord I'm accustomed to from N people. Just a wild guess though.

Edit : I'm now able to see your signature, seems I wasn't too far off the mark...


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

JpKoff said:


> Hello !
> I'm not able to guess N/S but I'd lean toward S because your writing looks efficiently "to the point" and not the fucked-up smorgasbord I'm accustomed to from N people. Just a wild guess though.


I have actually noticed that a lot of NF types tend to do this. Have no idea why, but it irritates the hell out of me. Gets me thinking like... "too much of an unnecessary detail, I already got your point, so why won't you shut up, please?" :numbness:


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## gassendi (May 5, 2018)

@*heavydirtysoul* Just looking at the alternatives, ESTJ has a tertiary Ne which is nowhere to be found. ESTP has an auxiliary Ti, which I frankly don't see. ESFJ, with FeSi and tertiary Ne is way off. And in that other thread, I assume ENTJ (TeNi) won out over ENFJ (FeNi).

Among the alternatives, I am missing ESFP, i.e., SeFi with tertiary Te. You seem to be really uncertain about ENTJ, even though it's a good fit. It would also be difficult to separate an ESFP with a strong Te from an ENTJ with a strong Se. 

It comes down to the strength of your Ni, which is very difficult to detect online.


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

gassendi said:


> @*heavydirtysoul* Just looking at the alternatives, ESTJ has a tertiary Ne which is nowhere to be found. ESTP has an auxiliary Ti, which I frankly don't see. ESFJ, with FeSi and tertiary Ne is way off. And in that other thread, I assume ENTJ (TeNi) won out over ENFJ (FeNi).
> 
> Among the alternatives, I am missing ESFP, i.e., SeFi with tertiary Te. You seem to be really uncertain about ENTJ, even though it's a good fit. It would also be difficult to separate an ESFP with a strong Te from an ENTJ with a strong Se.
> 
> It comes down to the strength of your Ni, which is very difficult to detect online.


Just coming out of terms of what I've been most oftenly suggested to be - ENTJ, ENFJ and ESTP are the types that have been constantly brought up by other users who were making attempts to type me. Wouldn't it make sense that, in my case, Fe could be mistaken for Te?


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

Considering that one...



gassendi said:


> Te dom and Fe dom may appear pushy or bossy under stressful circumstances, especially a highly persuasive Fe dom, which is why we need to consider how it plays out with auxiliary Ni.
> 
> By juxtaposing the results-driven TeNi with the socially engaging FeNi, a distinct difference appears. Consider the following dividing lines, which are caricatured but will still give you an image of what separates the two:
> 
> ...




_Do you absorb negative feedback or ignore it?_ Most of times, absorb and think through it constructively.
_Do you prefer to troubleshoot with others as a part of your decision-making? _If there is such opportunity and it would, for sure, be effective, yes, I'd prefer to troubleshoot with others.
_Are you more irritated by slow than boastful nerds? _Pardon me, but I am equally irritated by both :grumpy: Hm, is it OK for a decent person to be irritated by things for no apparent reason sometimes... and sometimes a bit too often?
_Are you the office mommy or the office bully?_ Neither. Not the "mommy", but people usually admire me for the charm and sense of responsibility.


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

Oh well :cower: Puzzled. 

I am the type of person that is somewhat hard to deal with, some consider me too pushy, some - overly giving. Long time ago, I used to be very generous, giving time, care and efforts to certain people, however, deciding later that the only thing that costs hard efforts is _me_. It is to be said, I am a walking contradiction. I do find myself at a crossroad constantly - generally, because of the push-pull tendency between heart and mind, constantly having to choose between what is fair and what is effective. Guess, self-acceptance is the key to many of the problems I encounter. Yet, is it truly impossible to meet all of the goals I set for myself? Those who know me well, say I need to stop racing around risking heart attack and nervous breakdown, but I can’t live the other way, I have far too much ambition and endless amounts of energy... at least, I’ve got to convince myself I do in order to succeed. In time, I have truly gained a lot of self-respect and determination. I love the change, I love the improvement.

There is no great complexity about my emotions, if you’re willing to think about it - _I feel_, just like every other human being. There is no much depth to my temper, it is short, yet strong and intense, but I have tough guard towards jealousy and bad intention. 

And the truth is, at times, I am a manipulative, calculating bitch, and, at times, I am a helpful, considerate sweetheart, and, if there is something that is certain about me - I rarely reach the point of balance. I do have limitless aspirations and willing to get ahead at any cost, but who am I, at the end of the day, when it all fades away and I stay on my own? Just a decent, ordinary, yet special, remarkable girl that loves the smell of campfires in the summer, taste of homemade cookies, loud laughter, sparkling eyes, guava juice, gold necklaces, pushing friends into the pool, mainstream and catchy, yet heartfelt music, feminine clothes, warm hugs... so many average, "girl-next-door" things.


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## gassendi (May 5, 2018)

heavydirtysoul said:


> Just coming out of terms of what I've been most oftenly suggested to be - ENTJ, ENFJ and ESTP are the types that have been constantly brought up by other users who were making attempts to type me. Wouldn't it make sense that, in my case, Fe could be mistaken for Te?


It absolutely makes sense. Both can be harsh, assertive, and to the point, so it really comes down to how you function socially. If you gauge the mood in a room and anchor your reasoning interpersonally, simultaneously rejecting cold and impersonal reasoning, then I'd say ENFJ. But if you use the social setting as a platform to project power and influence, guided by cold calculation and a long-term perspective, then I'd go for ENTJ.



heavydirtysoul said:


> _Do you absorb negative feedback or ignore it?_ Most of times, absorb and think through it constructively.


My immediate thought was Fe, but this is also a question of processing necessary information. Undecided.



> _Do you prefer to troubleshoot with others as a part of your decision-making? _If there is such opportunity and it would, for sure, be effective, yes, I'd prefer to troubleshoot with others.


Fe.



> _Are you more irritated by slow than boastful nerds? _Pardon me, but I am equally irritated by both :grumpy:


I'm also annoyed by both. But the slow nerd is both annoying and ineffective, which irks me more than the boastful nerd who mainly violates the social code. 



> Hm, is it OK for a decent person to be irritated by things for no apparent reason sometimes... and sometimes a bit too often?


Sure it's okay. Stress puts us under the Bunsen burner, making us behave in unfamiliar ways. Although I'd be more interested in seeing how and why the irritation occurs. 



> _Are you the office mommy or the office bully?_ Neither. Not the "mommy", but people usually admire me for the charm and sense of responsibility.


Falling back on and valuing social praise strikes me as Fe.

So out of the four we have two undecided and two Fe. With that in mind, I'm leaning ENFJ.

What can you say about your Se, by the way?


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## BlueRaspberry (Dec 19, 2017)

I think you've typed yourself correctly. I see strong evidence of Te>Fi, Ni>Se, Si POLR, and 368.


> Emotions have no use...Feelings have no weight on the real, actual world, they only matter to me, therefore have no use. Strategy, planning and, most importantly, action is what truly, essentially matters.


This is hella Te>Fi. If I were to undergo a deep personal loss, I would not 100 percent not ignore my feelings and focus on strategy and planning. I would write down what was going on inside my head, talk to a close friend or family member, or try to minimize my commitments so that I could take the time to processed my feelings. 


> Can’t say I focus on things, people, neither ideas entirely. I focus on goals and whatever needs to be in priority to reach it. I focus on values. Without goals and ambition, I become lost, numb and paralyzed.


Te-Fi


> Strange, beautifully strange. Intense, colorful. What efforts did it take to be captured? When was the picture taken? Is there a story behind the picture?


Ni-Se. You focus on immediate physical sensations (intense, colorful); I've noticed that tert-Se has a sort of "theatrical" perception of the world. You then wonder about contextual information, and high Ni thinks in terms of narratives/stories. 


> You know these “Aha!” aka “got it figured out” moments, don’t you?


Ni. Ne-Si is aware of it's internal thought process, I almost never process things at the subconscious level.


> Generally, routine. Since whenever I am tied to the same routine, I get the sense of being constrained, deprived of control, bloodless and violated.


Si POLR.


> Honesty, knowledge, security, authenticity, growth, loyalty, inner harmony, intimacy, intense connections, physical comfort (at a certain level of course).


Fi (honesty, authenticity, inner harmony), competency triad (knowledge), 6-fix (security, loyalty), sx/sp (intimacy, physical comfort)

My question is, what makes you doubt ENTJ?


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

gassendi said:


> What can you say about your Se, by the way?


Nothing certain, except that it is the function I could relate myself to the most, from the very start - out of four, I understand the concept of it the best.


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

BlueRaspberry said:


> My question is, what makes you doubt ENTJ?


The character duality I have mentioned above - 



heavydirtysoul said:


> Oh well :cower: Puzzled.
> 
> I am the type of person that is somewhat hard to deal with, some consider me too pushy, some - overly giving. Long time ago, I used to be very generous, giving time, care and efforts to certain people, however, deciding later that the only thing that costs hard efforts is _me_. It is to be said, I am a walking contradiction. I do find myself at a crossroad constantly - generally, because of the push-pull tendency between heart and mind, constantly having to choose between what is fair and what is effective. Guess, self-acceptance is the key to many of the problems I encounter. Yet, is it truly impossible to meet all of the goals I set for myself? Those who know me well, say I need to stop racing around risking heart attack and nervous breakdown, but I can’t live the other way, I have far too much ambition and endless amounts of energy... at least, I’ve got to convince myself I do in order to succeed. In time, I have truly gained a lot of self-respect and determination. I love the change, I love the improvement.
> 
> ...


Must also admit, I have quite a vague understanding of ENTJ to the core and its' relationship with sentimental, feeling side if there is such at all.


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## BlueRaspberry (Dec 19, 2017)

heavydirtysoul said:


> The character duality I have mentioned above...Must also admit, I have quite a vague understanding of ENTJ to the core and its' relationship with sentimental, feeling side if there is such at all.


None of this sounds that contradictory, tbh, it's standard Te-Fi psychological conflict. So you’re sometimes mean and selfish and sometimes nice and accomodating? Most humans are like that, even Fi/Fe doms. If anything, it's due to an imbalance between Te and Fi. Since the two are opposing forces in your cognitive stack, your Te desire for efficiency battles with your inner sense of Fi morality. You keep talking about goals, goals, goals, there’s no way you’re anything but a TJ; no feeler would continuously talk about work and strategizing and winning, that sounds boring as hell to me. If you want to, you can think about why you are sometimes selfish/manipulative instead of sweet and kind; what are you afraid of? Do you fear that if you give more to others, you will have less for yourself? That if others get ahead, you will be left behind? That people are just waiting to take advantage of you, so you decide to take advantage of them first? That it’s a cruel world out there and morality is fake anyways so might as well just fend for yourself because no one else will help you? This is more a question of enneagram than MBTI, though.


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## gassendi (May 5, 2018)

heavydirtysoul said:


> Nothing certain, except that it is the function I could relate myself to the most, from the very start - out of four, I understand the concept of it the best.


Simplifying in the extreme, Se (with aux Fi) pushes you into living in the "here and now," while Ni (with Te dom) shapes long-term thinking and planning in the pursuit of goals. In short, will you sacrifice today for the sake of tomorrow or vice versa?

Another aspect regards physical activity, as Se dom and FiSe are considered natural athletes and aesthetes. Any type can be a performer, but there is a certain ease and adaptation to movement that occurs with Se dom and FiSe. So consider your relationship with sports, dancing, workouts, or whichever activity fits you, and think of how much time and effort you put into them.


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

@BlueRaspberry I want to feel safe :moody: Whenever I fail at something, even the littlest things, it makes me feel insecure, unsafe, hopeless, terrified - like there is no way out and I am letting down myself and everyone who cares about me. I want to feel strong, I want to feel powerful, I want to be able to carry my family and people that I love, I do whatever it takes to survive. And, no matter how much I deny it, letting down other people breaks my heart as much as it breaks theirs.I do believe that every day that passes brings me closer to where I am supposed to be, I am _meant _to work hard for success, I am meant to be the one with compassion for the lost souls and the voice for those who have been silenced - that is my power, I have to own it. At the end of the day, there is a bravery in being soft as well.


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

gassendi said:


> In short, will you sacrifice today for the sake of tomorrow or vice versa?


Today for the sake of tomorrow - sure, I will.



gassendi said:


> Another aspect regards physical activity, as Se dom and FiSe are considered natural athletes and aesthetes. Any type can be a performer, but there is a certain ease and adaptation to movement that occurs with Se dom and FiSe. So consider your relationship with sports, dancing, workouts, or whichever activity fits you, and think of how much time and effort you put into them.


I actually am the Master of Sports. Although, I don't do sports professionally anymore, I enjoy doing sports at free time - it makes me feel energized.


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## gassendi (May 5, 2018)

heavydirtysoul said:


> Today for the sake of tomorrow - sure, I will.


Ni tracks long-term thinking and planning, so you can consider the extent to which this is consistent with your character. By tracking your thought process, you can eventually identify an auxiliary Ni (ENxJ) as opposed to an inferior Ni (ESxP).



> I actually am the Master of Sports. Although, I don't do sports professionally anymore, I enjoy doing sports at free time - it makes me feel energized.


That enthusiasm strikes me as Se dom, pointing away from ENxJ, even though several options are still on the table. Although I don't quite see ESTP due to the Ti aux.

So it comes down to a variety of either *Te*, Ni, *Se*, Fi (ENTJ) or *Se*, Fi, *Te*, Ni (ESFP) or the less probable *Fe*, Ni, *Se*, Ti (ENFJ) or *Se*, Ti, *Fe*, Ni (ESTP). It could also be that you're a better fit for a certain subtype, as there are 32 in socionics and 64 in cognitive typology.

Either way, Se and Te appear to be the primary means by which you relate to the world. It could be worthwhile to relax your search for a dominant function and instead observe your interactions online and IRL.


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

gassendi said:


> Either way, Se and Te appear to be the primary means by which you relate to the world. It could be worthwhile to relax your search for a dominant function and instead observe your interactions online and IRL.


How do I observe it, what are most important things about my interaction with people?


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## gassendi (May 5, 2018)

heavydirtysoul said:


> How do I observe it, what are most important things about my interaction with people?


It can be hard to gauge one's own approach, but it goes back to the auxiliary and inferior functions pertaining to either Ni or Fi. Think of how strong or weak these functions are and how each of them manifest, if at all.


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

gassendi said:


> It can be hard to gauge one's own approach, but it goes back to the auxiliary and inferior functions pertaining to either Ni or Fi. Think of how strong or weak these functions are and how each of them manifest, if at all.


Dunno, but it is pretty damn hard for me to relate to Fi. IMO, whether it comes to Feeling or Thinking - both have to be strictly objective and externally valuable.


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## gassendi (May 5, 2018)

BlueRaspberry said:


> why is your avatar a portrait of Stalin?


Joseph D. was an awe-inspiring character, uncanny yet charismatic. And I appreciate the contrasting emotions he invokes, as he can be perceived as brooding and intimidating while simultaneously relaxed or even reposeful. 

Such is the language of power, which makes it interesting so as to gauge peoples' reaction. Some see a photogenic twenty-something hipster, while others see the scourge of history and the trail of blood that follows it.


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

gassendi said:


> You're evidently burdened by significant social and work-related pressures. What do you do to de-stress?


I have such a hard time understanding my own emotions! :hopelessness: It’s insane, because when I talk to other people about how _they _feel and give them advice, I am able to understand and put their emotions into words a lot better than they’d be able to. Probably, to de-stress, I’d engage in a conversation with a person who had a similar to what I am going through situation, and spend time with a person I care about, participating in distracting activities.


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

gassendi said:


> Does that regard anybody you meet or do you rank people in accordance with their socioeconomic standing?


The second one.


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

BlueRaspberry said:


> @*heavydirtysoul*, I have a strong feeling that you're an 8
> http://personalitycafe.com/type-8-f...ocial-eights-according-beatrice-chestnut.html
> edit: @*gassendi*, why is your avatar a portrait of Stalin?


Are you saying I am a Social 8?


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## gassendi (May 5, 2018)

heavydirtysoul said:


> Probably, to de-stress, I’d engage in a conversation with a person who had a similar to what I am going through situation, and spend time with a person I care about, participating in distracting activities.


This sounds as though you are just adding more stress. Have you considered martial arts or yoga or any other group activity so as to pull your mind away from the mind-consuming chatter?



> The second one.


It's perfectly rational to be geared toward successful people. What I am trying to figure out is why it is so stressful to you.


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

gassendi said:


> This sounds as though you are just adding more stress. Have you considered martial arts or yoga or any other group activity so as to pull your mind away from the mind-consuming chatter?


I actually think that chatter is good, or just being with someone is actually good, it feels comforting and safe.


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## BlueRaspberry (Dec 19, 2017)

gassendi said:


> Joseph D. was an awe-inspiring character, uncanny yet charismatic.


You find famine, murder, and genocide awe-inspiring? :shocked:


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## gassendi (May 5, 2018)

BlueRaspberry said:


> You find famine, murder, and genocide awe-inspiring?


That's not what I wrote, so feel free to read the statement again and look at it in its entirety. But to repeat the bottom line: "Some see a photogenic twenty-something hipster, while others see the scourge of history and the trail of blood that follows it." 

Your impression speaks to the Ni/Se versus Ne/Si divide, so I thank you for having affirmed this distinction.


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

Anybody else?


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

@ewdenore @spaceynyc @An Undead Wanderer Can I have some of your thoughts in regards to my latest posts in this thread, please? :smilee:


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

I know you might have something to say about me as well :tongue-new: @Renekton @Manuel I Komnenos


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## Pippo (Mar 17, 2017)

heavydirtysoul said:


> I know you might have something to say about me as well :tongue-new: @Renekton @Manuel I Komnenos


Now that I'm back on my computer, I can actually properly get to this thread.


* *






heavydirtysoul said:


> Back then, I’ve lost a person I deeply cared about and was inspired by - my grandmother. The day I got to know, she was in hospital, unconscious, I told myself “It’s awful and devastating, but there is nothing I'd be able to do to change the fact. There is no actual use in being sad or displaying feelings of loss and resentment, as it has no real use - it simply _will not change anything_.”
> Waking up earlier the next day, starting to do usual things I do - plan, take action, succeed.
> I came to the hospital the day I was told she was still unconscious and at a very bad condition, I knew she was dying and there was _nothing_ I could do about it. When she did, I was overwhelmed by the pain and emptiness on the inside, but I shoved it down, never showing anybody I suffer. To be honest, I didn't care that people around me were waiting for an emotional response, _I didn't think it mattered_. I kept it rational keeping myself busy with goals and activities. Slightly remember thinking to myself back then “_Emotions have no use. _I feel what I feel and I am perfectly aware of own emotional state on the inside, but the state I'm in doesn’t have to do _anything_ with the flow of life and the outer world. _I’ve got to keep things going_, life goes on, time flies. Feelings have no weight on the _real_, actual world, they only matter to me, therefore have no use. Strategy, planning and, most importantly, action is what truly, essentially matters.”
> 
> ...


Most of this is pretty Fi-heavy with some indication that you're a T-type, but that's debatable. I think, for those labeling it as inferior Fi development, you would probably have to be in your 50s for such a thing to really become a central part of your life as it is now. Unless you are in the later stages of life, that argument seems to fall flat. Though one could argue a combination of traumatic events in one's life could result in that.



heavydirtysoul said:


> I was in a relationship I perfectly understood that he uses and mistreats me, logically, intuitively. I knew he would lie every now and then, but kept playing silly, because I loved the feelings it gave me - the thrill, intensity, utter control.
> 
> Not going to lie, a small part of me wanted to know what it would be like to take endless care of a person and be taken care of, and to experiment with values and behavioral patterns of my own. I’ve come too far, because I was addicted to the feeling of novelty of that, even though I knew I’m not the type of person to give everything away for a conventional relationship and love in a sentimental, stereotypical manner.
> 
> ...


Weird Te-Fi dynamics + probably N.


* *




The 1w9 in me declares the last paragraph absolutely disgusting as well as immature.






heavydirtysoul said:


> Being in a relationship is odd. As a reserved communicator, I find myself not being adept at dealing with emotions and have a hard time dwelling on emotional experience. However, being in the relationship with the partner I’ve previously known for half a lifetime, I find myself at a contradictory, contrasting path.
> 
> First and foremost, I do understand that an emotion is a temporary, alternating phenomena, therefore, a long-term commitment is a relative, controversial notion. I’ve got to embrace and admit I am not a “traditional relationship” person, instead, I am more inclined to seek novelty, take risks, keep things unpredictable, require fresh challenges, yet remain practical and analytical on a day-to-day basis. As far as I can say, I _am_ in love with Him, but there is a time-space framework he ignores completely. From my belvedere, the relationship is crazy and amazing at the same time; I can clearly see he is very into emotional communications, and whenever I am affected at the moment as well, my mouth has got a mind of its own, I want to share, I want to expand, which is not typical of me in any case, I don’t talk – I think, I process, I solve. Something tells me it’s for the better, yet the inconsistency frights me – love for the power of intense experiences and thrills we share together and not being able to respond with the similar desire for commitment, warmth and emotionality, on the contrary.
> 
> ...


Suggests introvert and a preference for Fi over Fe. A lot of Se in here. Some hints of T, but most of the comments on relationship seem to suggest F.



heavydirtysoul said:


> _There is_ something to be said about the relationship, as it, no doubt, has been the most unsucessful "project" of mine, leaving me moody, drained, unfocused and thrown out of balance. Starting the relationship, I've been on the edge of extrinsic youthful idealism, thinking any matter can be fixed with few smart chess moves.
> 
> However, the man I was in a relationship with appeared to be narcissistic, vague, emotionally immature, unmanageble, always twisting the facts, weak, inflexible and unfulfilled. No ambition, no long-term planning, no desire to work hard and move forward, whatsoever.
> 
> ...


Some parts suggest some use of N combined with F. N isn't inferior, at the least. Possibly stronger tertiary. 
Some parts suggest Se and T



heavydirtysoul said:


> *0. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.*
> Female, 22 years old.
> 
> *1. Click on this link: Flickr: Explore! Look at the random photo for about 30 seconds. Copy and paste it here, and write about your impression of it.*
> ...


1.Well here's the confirmation that you're not 50 years old.
2. Se
3. Se + use of Fi
4. Possible preference for T
5. T
6. Se, some T, a good bit of Fi
7. Anti-Fe, Overthinking is often easily connected to tertiary Ni
8. Stereotypically Ni, but I don't like to associate them with each other
9. Te, Se, Ni, and Fi are all there
10. Fi and Te use



heavydirtysoul said:


> I was wondering if anyone else has the same problem.  I have to admit that I am extremely fastidious and picky about my surroundings. It is hard for me to focus and to get the work done for as long as the atmosphere is not flawless; room has to be clean, there has to be quiet music, flowers, the light must be perfectly matched, depending on what I'm doing etc. I'm not only talking about the cleanliness of the room - it has to be a comfortable, perfect little world of my own corresponding to my inner self in which I will be able to concentrate. Until then I am having a big trouble staying focused at a job and get absolutely bombarded with distractions.


Suggests an odd preference for Se; this makes it look like you have more acute sensory perceptions and pay more attention to it, indicating a preference for S over N.



I could certainly see ENTJ, but my gut begins to wrench when I read over some of the inclinations towards T. Holistically, I think this could still be argued to be indicative of ISFP or maybe even ISTP. If you are an ENTJ, you have an oddly strong use of Se and Fi, which would be very atypical and unlikely.


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

Manuel I Komnenos said:


> Now that I'm back on my computer, I can actually properly get to this thread.
> I could certainly see ENTJ, but my gut begins to wrench when I read over some of the inclinations towards T. Holistically, I think this could still be argued to be indicative of ISFP or maybe even ISTP. If you are an ENTJ, you have an oddly strong use of Se and Fi, which would be very atypical and unlikely.


Thank you! What would dominant Ti look like though? I know nothing about ISTPs, could I really be one?


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## Pippo (Mar 17, 2017)

heavydirtysoul said:


> Thank you! What would dominant Ti look like though? I know nothing about ISTPs.


I've been trying to ask that question myself, but really more in the reverse. "Do my actions represent a Ti-dom?"

Dominant Ti is, as I interpret it, very concerned with forming personal, logical frameworks to interpret and understand the world. It's often associated with looking for the whole workings of something, (Hence the notorious "Why?" question from INTPs and why ISTPs are commonly connected to mechanics), as well as very low empathetic faculties due to inferior Fe.

I wouldn't call them robots, but they're much more awkward, generally speaking, when it comes to handing delicate emotional situations with/around other people, being a bit of a blunt object where a scalpel is needed. (i.e. with social cues.) In your case, assuming you were an ISTP, your type 3 would probably contribute to a strengthening of some of the outwardly-related parts of inferior Fe.


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

Manuel I Komnenos said:


> I've been trying to ask that question myself, but really more in the reverse. "Do my actions represent a Ti-dom?"
> 
> Dominant Ti is, as I interpret it, very concerned with forming personal, logical frameworks to interpret and understand the world. It's often associated with looking for the whole workings of something, (Hence the notorious "Why?" question from INTPs and why ISTPs are commonly connected to mechanics), as well as very low empathetic faculties due to inferior Fe.
> 
> I wouldn't call them robots, but they're much more awkward, generally speaking, when it comes to handing delicate emotional situations with/around other people, being a bit of a blunt object where a scalpel is needed. (i.e. with social cues.) In your case, assuming you were an ISTP, your type 3 would probably contribute to a strengthening of some of the outwardly-related parts of inferior Fe.


I cannot shake the feeling that everything I do and say is actually motivated by Fe. For example, if you think about it:



> The day I got to know, she was in hospital, unconscious, I told myself “It’s awful and devastating, but there is nothing I'd be able to do to change the fact. There is no actual use in being sad or displaying feelings of loss and resentment, as it has no real use - it simply will not change anything.”


Just a little girl pretending to be the mature one, scared and afraid to hurt the loved ones with the "wrong" reaction.



> Not because I am mainly interested in people themselves...


Who am I trying to fool? I am interested in people, I spend 95% of time thinking about other people and what they might think about me.



> I’d lie and fake reactions to see what he would do next, I’d take him back after endless lies to see what he will come up with, what twisted and unexpected schemes would he play to get me back and what potential he might suggest.


Overthinking every word, I hate it. The truth is "I'd lie", because I wanted to be loved and appreciated.


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## Pippo (Mar 17, 2017)

heavydirtysoul said:


> I cannot shake the feeling that everything I do and say is actually motivated by Fe. For example, if you think about it:
> 
> _
> 
> ...



Type 3 awareness/desires.


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

Manuel I Komnenos said:


> Type 3 awareness/desires.


But would an ISTP 3 or even an ISFP 3 put such emphasis on other people? I nearly switch personalities to satisfy those around me.


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## Pippo (Mar 17, 2017)

heavydirtysoul said:


> But would an ISTP 3 or even an ISFP 3 put such emphasis on other people?


I think it's possible.

As I view it, the enneagram 3 is inherently considered with other people and others' views of him/herself.


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

Manuel I Komnenos said:


> I think it's possible.
> 
> As I view it, the enneagram 3 is inherently considered with other people and others' views of him/herself.


Wouldn't it be very unusual for Fi dominant type to change their values and behaviour according to the external atmosphere, in order, to be loved and accepted by other people present?


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

It's hard to explain, but I do a lot of stuff that is opposite to Fi.


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