# Giving and receiving affection...



## HollyGolightly (Aug 8, 2009)

Which do you prefer: to give or to receive. :laughing:

Naughty. Get your minds out of the gutter - I don't necessarily mean it in _that _way, just affection in general. 

Do you have problems expressing it? I know I do, I come off as cold when actually I'm very loving - just awkward when giving and receiving affection. Anybody else experienced this? Does the awkwardness pass if you find someone you are truly comfortable with? Have you been accused of giving too much affection to the point where you're being suffocating?
Feedback please


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## starri (Jan 23, 2009)

The mutuality of the give and take is the greatest part of it -imo.

To just give is like performing and waiting for someone to clap.

To just take is like eating a meal and watch it disappear with every bite.

But since we are in the S&R section;






Song has been on my mind for a day or two. :laughing:


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## TreeBob (Oct 11, 2008)

I like to give and receive equally. I might give at first but if I don't receive then I might pull back.


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## PeacePassion (Jun 9, 2009)

i tend to give without realizing the extent of what i'm getting back. i agree with the idea that "happiness is the love coming out of you" but i'm trying to be better about making sure i'm getting what i want too. i think i get stuck in the i-have-so-much-to-give mode, and it's an authentic joy to give of myself like that- i guess you could say affection is not so simple or superficial to me, in whatever form it may come. but it must be something really profound when there is an even, bi-directional flow. roud:

it seems i'm sensitive enough to avoid being suffocating, for the most part. i usually can pick up on when i need to back off, which is important too. the hard part is having to keep it all in when it's not wanted. :sad:

life would probably be a whole lot easier if i could just lighten up in general though.


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## Liontiger (Jun 2, 2009)

I feel more comfortable giving than receiving. I have this instinctual urge to make the people I care about happy, and I get my own happiness out of this. With time, however, I don't mind accepting affection.


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## LPtheBeastly (Jul 15, 2009)

I don't mind giving or recieving genuine affection. I feel it keeps me connected with those I care about... :blushed:
But I hate frivolus/meaningless displays of it. You know... those people that can make you question whether a hug was special or just a routine? I give hugs, not grappeling moves.

Affection is mucho importante to me. When I do give it, I always wonder how it will be taken, if at all...


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## kdm1984 (Jul 8, 2009)

HollyGolightly said:


> Which do you prefer: to give or to receive. :laughing:


Both plz! :happy:



> Naughty. Get your minds out of the gutter - I don't necessarily mean it in _that _way, just affection in general.


Still both plz! :happy::happy:



> Do you have problems expressing it? I know I do, I come off as cold when actually I'm very loving - just awkward when giving and receiving affection. Anybody else experienced this? Does the awkwardness pass if you find someone you are truly comfortable with?


Well, according to the dear one, I have never had problems expressing it in the sense to which you are referring. However, my technique has gotten better through the years. No more falling off the bed, for instance. :laughing:



> Have you been accused of giving too much affection to the point where you're being suffocating?
> Feedback please


I did nearly suffocate him once in the literal sense, but he forgave me for it. I was just a little overexcited at the time! :blushed:


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

Awwww! I want a mutually beneficial partnership in which we love each other equally. Sexually, however, I would rather have my partner in control, but am open to creative experimentation within a committed, monogamous life-partnership.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## flyintheointment (Jun 15, 2009)

HollyGolightly said:


> Which do you prefer: to give or to receive. :laughing:
> Does the awkwardness pass if you find someone you are truly comfortable with?


Yes, but there needs to be complete trust.


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## pianopraze (Jun 29, 2009)

Peace&Quiet said:


> i tend to give without realizing the extent of what i'm getting back. i agree with the idea that "happiness is the love coming out of you" but i'm trying to be better about making sure i'm getting what i want too.


need I say anything?

For once I would like to be in a relationship that gave back...


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## Skewed (Jul 14, 2009)

Sheesh, I cant get past the awkwardness of PDA.


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## Liontiger (Jun 2, 2009)

Liontiger said:


> I feel more comfortable giving than receiving. I have this instinctual urge to make the people I care about happy, and I get my own happiness out of this. With time, however, I don't mind accepting affection.


After thinking about it a bit more, I realize that with friends, I feel more comfortable receiving than giving. With SOs, I feel more comfortable giving than receiving. I wonder what makes it that way...


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## knght990 (Jul 28, 2009)

i cant do both at the same time, but i cant give without receiving. so, there is an order to these things.


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## m a white (Aug 16, 2009)

*I don't have problems giving affection, only receiving. I really enjoy the enjoyment my partner receives but I'm not bragging. Emotion sensed more by the emotion given.*


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## amanda32 (Jul 23, 2009)

I would like to receive as I'm always the one giving.


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## VivaCohen (Jan 8, 2010)

I like balance. The only problem is that I have a hard time giving until I feel comfortable with someone and that takes a lonnnng time. But from there on its give and take and very nice.


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## daniel89 (Jan 3, 2010)

I really love giving and showing and receiving affection towards the one that i love and specially if she loves me as much as i hope they say they do. 

The only problem is my last relationship she loved affection but she never really showed it back which made me sad so i would try harder which made me become overly romantic at times. 

I love to receive affection and to be feel like i'm loved or wanted or even thought about which includes all the little things in a relationship which matter to me. for example like a good morning text saying morning hope you sleep good today and had a good night at work (since i work overnight and sleep all day). Those are the things that matter to me. I rather spend a day doing little things verse one big thing


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## ollie (Jan 3, 2010)

VivaCohen said:


> I like balance. The only problem is that I have a hard time giving until I feel comfortable with someone and that takes a lonnnng time. But from there on its give and take and very nice.


I'm the same way. I definitely like being on the receiving end of affection, but it takes me a while to get over the whole new-ness of being with someone (I'm talking about someone I'm dating, although I guess it would still apply to friends too).



Skewed said:


> Sheesh, I cant get past the awkwardness of PDA.


Is that all the time? I only feel like that in the intial part of the relationship. After I get to know the other person better, it feels more natural. Although there are certainly things that shouldn't be done in public; I DO think people should keep some things to themselves, or wait for when they're alone....not everyone needs to see that...



daniel89 said:


> I love to receive affection and to be feel like i'm loved or wanted or even thought about which includes all the little things in a relationship which matter to me. for example like a good morning text saying morning hope you sleep good today and had a good night at work (since i work overnight and sleep all day). Those are the things that matter to me. I rather spend a day doing little things verse one big thing


I know how you feel. The little things really go a long way in making your day just that much happier. It's like a constant reminder that someone else cares for you and loves you a lot. As long as it's not overdone (i.e. don't text every two seconds), it's definitely a romantic gesture that would be appreciated.:happy:


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## Outcode (Nov 28, 2009)

HollyGolightly said:


> Which do you prefer: to give or to receive. :laughing:
> 
> Naughty. Get your minds out of the gutter - I don't necessarily mean it in _that _way, just affection in general.
> 
> ...


I like receiving it a lot more than I like giving it, not that I don't mind giving affection, I just have problems expressing myself. Also, receiving affection makes me feel better about myself and when I do give out affection it's usually too subtle, so the recipient might not be aware =| On the other hand, when I receive it affection the person giving it probably isn't aware of my appreciation cause of again, my problem with expressing myself... bah...:frustrating:


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

I prefer the other person to initiate. I have trouble expressing affection because of the vulnerability factor, but I usually like it. The more comfortable I am with someone, the easier it is. I appreciate when someone senses that I am not aloof, but just shy, and is discouraged by my shyness and will make the first move (even with just a friendly hug).


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