# Happily female...but feel like a man inside?



## ZMX

I'm a straight dude.

I believe that intra-womb hormone balance has an affect on gender identity and sexual attraction.

My ring finger is longer than my index finger. 

The voice in my head has always just been the voice I hear when speaking, and I've never attached a gender to it. I've never "felt" like a man, or like a woman.

Nothing about my mannerisms is effeminate, and I seemingly have zero feminine traits. I shamelessly enjoy some girly music and like overwhelmingly cutesy things. I've always appreciated and envied the variety of fashion choices available to women.

I don't take part in most masculine things, such as the desire to be physically strong, dominant, or macho. I don't care about sports, UFC, etc, but will watch them if they're on - the biggest appeal for me is how technically difficult the feats they achieve are. 

Perhaps my most stereotypically masculine trait is that I have almost no inclination to attach sentiment to things, and I find it easy to cull negative emotion.

I feel like my body just happens to be the tool I'm working with. Yeah, I enjoy using my penis for sex, but my identity isn't invested in my dick. To me, it's no different than using a fork to eat. If I woke up, suddenly "stuck" in a female body, I wouldn't be particularly happy or sad.

Only for women am I inclined to have wandering eyes. So far, I've been exclusively sexually attracted to women.

Once, a few years back, I suddenly felt romantically for a male friend. I resolved not to fight my feelings, come whatever may, but they disappeared after a couple weeks. Otherwise, I've been romantically "straight" and would say that romance is more important to me than sex. Both are nice, though.


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## skycloud86

My index finger is actually longer than my ring finger, and I'm biologically male (you're supposed to use your right hand, though - my left hand has the two fingers being of almost equal length).

Personally, I just feel like a person. Being male isn't an important part of my identity, I just am.


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## Echoe

My sense of gender identity has never really been a big thing to me. I feel like a female and am happy being so, however I tend to feel unfeminine with my boyish figure, and my more emotionally detached nature can lead me to feel more unfeminine around other chicks at times -- I can feel more masculine in the latter instance. At times I have felt pretty awkward and less feminine when Feelers were being very "Feelery" somehow (lol), especially if it was from other girls. I think it's a sense of androgyny I tend to get hit with, however on the whole and majority of the time I'd say I usually feel feminine enough I suppose, especially as I've gotten older and more emotionally "developed".


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## yasasorn

Go to a psycho


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro

Echoe said:


> My sense of gender identity has never really been a big thing to me. I feel like a female and am happy being so, however I tend to feel unfeminine with my boyish figure, and my more emotionally detached nature can lead me to feel more unfeminine around other chicks at times -- I can feel more masculine in the latter instance. At times I have felt pretty awkward and less feminine when Feelers were being very "Feelery" somehow (lol), especially if it was from other girls. I think it's a sense of androgyny I tend to get hit with, however on the whole and majority of the time I'd say I usually feel feminine enough I suppose, especially as I've gotten older and more emotionally "developed".


l get that around very Fe types, too. lt's like some kind of weird girl hazing, l feel like my emotional responses are being hacked or something.

My body is feminine enough for my liking but l know what you mean, l feel boyish in comparison to extremely _styled_ women and just the way they carry themselves suggests that they think they are extremely feminine.

lt's not like l take offense to it, but l don't relate to it.


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## Echoe

OMG WTF BRO said:


> l get that around very Fe types, too. lt's like some kind of weird girl hazing, l feel like my emotional responses are being hacked or something.
> 
> My body is feminine enough for my liking but l know what you mean, l feel boyish in comparison to extremely _styled_ women and just the way they carry themselves suggests that they think they are extremely feminine.
> 
> lt's not like l take offense to it, but l don't relate to it.



Yeah... It's funny, as I was thinking about it, it looks like I actually tend become stony around more emotionally effusive people like that, mostly just if I don't know them well. I think it just basically stems from my discomfort and confusion as to how to relate (or if I wanna open up and relate) as well as my lowered sense of being an emotional person/female, so I just start withdrawing into myself out of the sense of awkwardness. So, what's funny is that I feel like I actually tend to be pretty personable and cheerful, but it's like once someone starts doing something very "Feelery" around me I may start turning into Spock and make myself even more emotionally cut-off (and then feel even weirder about myself). I only just now realized this, haha.


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## Aya the Abysswalker

yasasorn said:


> Go to a psycho


psy·cho (sk) Slang 
n. pl. psy·chos 
A psychopath.
adj.
Crazy; insane.


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## kindaconfused

rosegeranium said:


> The Spartans may have taken lovers in battle because some of them were actually gay, or because they were just sexual and wanted that power that the penis represents, that the male body represents.


It's getting warm in here. ;-)


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## kindaconfused

rosegeranium said:


> Any females out there feel as though, deep down, they are men?
> 
> Myself, I like being female. I like my body, I like having breasts and a womb, I like all the trappings of the feminine. I am not attracted to women. But it feel's like my inner voice is a guy.


I relate, but in reverse. I feel feminine and relate to women a _lot_. But I like my penis (though boobs would be cool ). Although I have never really expressed it in any way to anyone other than my wife. I am at a point in my life where the repression of these feelings is really weighing on me to the point of possibly seeking counseling. I am not transgendered, I merely wish we could all be accepted for who we are.
Repressing who you are for many years will catch up to you. Please remember this everyone! Being yourself is about the bravest thing you can do in life.


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro

kindaconfused said:


> I relate, but in reverse. I feel feminine and relate to women a _lot_. But I like my penis (though boobs would be cool ). Although I have never really expressed it in any way to anyone other than my wife. I am at a point in my life where the repression of these feelings is really weighing on me to the point of possibly seeking counseling. I am not transgendered, I merely wish we could all be accepted for who we are.
> Repressing who you are for many years will catch up to you. Please remember this everyone! Being yourself is about the bravest thing you can do in life.


l don't express this to many people either. What l find is that, there's a strong push to fit into one of the already defined boxes. ln this case, either ''feeling'' like your biological sex or declaring yourself gender variant, that's the area l don't agree with. Talk about this kind of thing is just starting to become normal, so l don't mind that there is still a tendency for people to continue to try and push you one way or the other, but l don't acknowledge it.

when other women have called me "weird''(this is what l usually get, nobody really says masculine except online) l would have the option of trying to be more like them or considering myself to be unlike other women and maybe choosing to identify as something outside of the binary, it's just that neither option appeals to me.

So there's sort of a balancing act, l think what you said about not repressing anything is important though which is entirely why l don't and have remained the weird girl that l am.


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## FlightsOfFancy

I'm not trying to be dickish here:

But one thing (out of the many problems I've had with life) that I've never had an issue with was gender identity. I always adored androgynous people, not so much as because it eschewed the norm--but because there's so much utility in using both aspects of your psyche. 

I'm more masculine of a gay, but have zero issue delving into my feminine side quite freely. If I don't feel as if I can do this, I don't consider the person my friend. I don't like to adhere to black and white characterizations when indeed there's so much in between.

As a man, I feel this is a lot less acceptable than for females. Females that lean more "manly" yet dress femininely are actually sought after in America: Angelina Jolie/Alicia Keys/Madonna etc.


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro

FlightsOfFancy said:


> I'm not trying to be dickish here:
> 
> But one thing (out of the many problems I've had with life) that I've never had an issue with was gender identity. I always adored androgynous people, not so much as because it eschewed the norm--but because there's so much utility in using both aspects of your psyche.
> 
> I'm more masculine of a gay, but have zero issue delving into my feminine side quite freely. If I don't feel as if I can do this, I don't consider the person my friend. I don't like to adhere to black and white characterizations when indeed there's so much in between.
> 
> As a man, I feel this is a lot less acceptable than for females. Females that lean more "manly" yet dress femininely are actually sought after in America: Angelina Jolie/Alicia Keys/Madonna etc.


l've always heard about this alleged disdain there is for masculine 'ish' women but l haven't really experienced it. Most of the time when you hear about it, it's from other women who make it seem like the disdain comes from men. lf anything, men have reacted to me like l was more normal than most women do.

l think l might feel differently if l were ragingly heterosexual and interested in tons of men who weren't interested in me and thought my energy was too masculine but l haven't had that experience. The men that l did date liked me for it...l guess lol.


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## FlightsOfFancy

OMG WTF BRO said:


> l've always heard about this alleged disdain there is for masculine 'ish' women but l haven't really experienced it. Most of the time when you hear about it, it's from other women who make it seem like the disdain comes from men. lf anything, men have reacted to me like l was more normal than most women do.
> 
> l think l might feel differently if l were ragingly heterosexual and interested in tons of men who weren't interested in me and thought my energy was too masculine but l haven't had that experience. The men that l did date liked me for it...l guess lol.


I can't speak for heterosexual men, but I always viewed this type of woman as the most powerful (hence my Madonna love lol). When women can intertwine beauty and power, there's something so intimately sexy about it. It's not as subjugated as the overly waif-like feminine stepword-wife, while not overly dominant and aggressive. It's something that's been exploited in female dress quite a lot (shoulder pads/pants suits) etc.

But there's my feminist avant-garde interpretation.

On a simpler level, I think (from speaking to my hetero friends), there's more of a friendship AND relationship as opposed to just swinging to the right side all the time.


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## intrasearching

I am happily male, am attracted to females, and I do indeed identify myself as male without hesitation, but there are times when I feel more feminine than masculine or neutral. I also have moments when my conscience has a female voice. I have been mistaken for gay several times, even though I do not behave especially feminine, nor do I display homosexual attraction. I have been told the mistake comes from my "nice" quality, which I really don't know how to interpret exactly...

Anyway, I do typically feel either predominately feminine or neutral, and I rarely feel masculine.


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## Swordsman of Mana

rosegeranium said:


> Any females out there feel as though, deep down, they are men?
> Myself, I like being female. I like my body, I like having breasts and a womb, I like all the trappings of the feminine. I am not attracted to women. But it feel's like my inner voice is a guy.
> I just feel like a man inside. I don't want to become a man, but when I see other men I have to stop myself from identifying too much with them. The voice in my head(the type you hear when you are thinking), tends to be male. It just feels like there is a guy in my soul that wants to jump out. I'm not a tomboy, although I'm very physical. My father had a strong hand in raising me, but so did my mom...I suppose I favored my dad, so perhaps that's why I'm the way I am.
> It's hard to explain. Mostly it's just a feeling. A lot of people have wondered if I'm a lesbian even though I look and behave in a feminine manner.(I know that not all lesbians appear masculine, mind you) I've even had guys remark that there is something "masculine" about my eyes? Weird?!! But yeah, I feel like I should be a man sometimes, although I do not want a sex change and am attracted strongly to men. Perhaps I am a gay, semi-macho man inside? I suppose it makes no sense in trying to categorize what I am feeling...I just know it's male.
> Does anyone else relate? I'm not looking for advice, I'm just really curious to hear about other people's gender identity issues. If you are a male and feel like a female inside, then your posts are welcome as well. Or if you feel like both genders inside, or a purple alien, whatever...Who or what do you feel like inside?


this doesn't seem terribly unusual to me. lots of confident or ambitious women think they are more "manly" when really they're exhibiting traits well within the range of confident female behavior.


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## Doc Dangerstein

shhh ... don't tell anybody. Women lose a lot by being over-styled. When I see them at their most glamorous the result is nearly always comical. Please lose the act and change back into some everyday clothes. You don't see me walking around in a pimp suit, or flaunting a Rolex, or wearing layers of cologne and acting all macho for no reason. Same thing goes for styling you persona, huge turn off. There's nothing worse then being with someone who's pointlessly histrionic, cutesy and overly nurturing. It's almost like we, as a society, adopted a caricature of ourselves to disguise our insecurities -- the same can be said about men trying to be more sensitive, and women being tough and domineering.


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## MerelyARumor

It pains me to say...but deep down inside...I feel like I am....a koala....I just cant stop thinking about drinking eucalyptus tea, im nocturnal, I just seem to relate to koalas , a lot of people have wondered if I am a koala in a mans body...my way of thinking just seems to be koala...I relate to koala problems like sleeping 18 hours a day and falling off trees...its really hard to explain this koala feeling, some people have wondered if I am a marsupial even though I behave in a human manner


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## Amyyyy

rosegeranium said:


> Any females out there feel as though, deep down, they are men?
> 
> Myself, I like being female. I like my body, I like having breasts and a womb, I like all the trappings of the feminine. I am not attracted to women. But it feel's like my inner voice is a guy.
> 
> I just feel like a man inside. I don't want to become a man, but when I see other men I have to stop myself from identifying too much with them. The voice in my head(the type you hear when you are thinking), tends to be male. It just feels like there is a guy in my soul that wants to jump out. I'm not a tomboy, although I'm very physical. My father had a strong hand in raising me, but so did my mom...I suppose I favored my dad, so perhaps that's why I'm the way I am.
> 
> It's hard to explain. Mostly it's just a feeling. A lot of people have wondered if I'm a lesbian even though I look and behave in a feminine manner.(I know that not all lesbians appear masculine, mind you) I've even had guys remark that there is something "masculine" about my eyes? Weird?!! But yeah, I feel like I should be a man sometimes, although I do not want a sex change and am attracted strongly to men. Perhaps I am a gay, semi-macho man inside? I suppose it makes no sense in trying to categorize what I am feeling...I just know it's male.
> 
> Does anyone else relate? I'm not looking for advice, I'm just really curious to hear about other people's gender identity issues. If you are a male and feel like a female inside, then your posts are welcome as well. Or if you feel like both genders inside, or a purple alien, whatever...Who or what do you feel like inside?


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## Amyyyy

Doc Dangerstein said:


> shhh ... don't tell anybody. Women lose a lot by being over-styled. When I see them at their most glamorous the result is nearly always comical. Please lose the act and change back into some everyday clothes. You don't see me walking around in a pimp suit, or flaunting a Rolex, or wearing layers of cologne and acting all macho for no reason. Same thing goes for styling you persona, huge turn off. There's nothing worse then being with someone who's pointlessly histrionic, cutesy and overly nurturing. It's almost like we, as a society, adopted a caricature of ourselves to disguise our insecurities -- the same can be said about men trying to be more sensitive, and women being tough and domineering.


I also feel the same way that’s not only you gurl I even feel like I look like a male 😭😭


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## Amyyyy

rosegeranium said:


> Any females out there feel as though, deep down, they are men?
> 
> Myself, I like being female. I like my body, I like having breasts and a womb, I like all the trappings of the feminine. I am not attracted to women. But it feel's like my inner voice is a guy.
> 
> I just feel like a man inside. I don't want to become a man, but when I see other men I have to stop myself from identifying too much with them. The voice in my head(the type you hear when you are thinking), tends to be male. It just feels like there is a guy in my soul that wants to jump out. I'm not a tomboy, although I'm very physical. My father had a strong hand in raising me, but so did my mom...I suppose I favored my dad, so perhaps that's why I'm the way I am.
> 
> It's hard to explain. Mostly it's just a feeling. A lot of people have wondered if I'm a lesbian even though I look and behave in a feminine manner.(I know that not all lesbians appear masculine, mind you) I've even had guys remark that there is something "masculine" about my eyes? Weird?!! But yeah, I feel like I should be a man sometimes, although I do not want a sex change and am attracted strongly to men. Perhaps I am a gay, semi-macho man inside? I suppose it makes no sense in trying to categorize what I am feeling...I just know it's male.
> 
> Does anyone else relate? I'm not looking for advice, I'm just really curious to hear about other people's gender identity issues. If you are a male and feel like a female inside, then your posts are welcome as well. Or if you feel like both genders inside, or a purple alien, whatever...Who or what do you feel like inside?


That’s not only you 😭😭


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