# Guys giving girls their phone numbers first



## Hunny Bunny (Jan 12, 2011)

Ok so I'm kinda newly single again so I'm not sure if I'm out of touch or what? One thing I've noticed and am kinda puzzled about is guys giving me their phone numbers. Is this a new/normal thing people do these days?

I was always under the impression that guys were supposed to ask girls for their numbers and that guys call the girl first (call me traditional, I guess). Not that I'm opposed to it, but it's happened a few times to me recently and I'm not really sure what to think. I kinda feel weird about calling a guy first, you know? I know the "dating games" evolve and change all the time... but I'm just wondering what to make of this. Does this mean the guy thinks I'm easy or something? Lol

Can someone explain this to me?


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## SilentScream (Mar 31, 2011)

Typically when I give my number/contact details first, I do it with the intention of "I like you and I would like to be just friends". 

I'm not sure about other guys as I've never actually been part of the dating scene [ever] as I've been the pursued not pursuer all of my life. 

Anyone would just be guessing as to their intention. 

Possibilities are most likely that the person who's given you the number _could _be 

1. a seducer/player ... 
2. be just looking for friendship
3. testing to see if you "take the bait" .. 

I think it's possible that some men believe that if they give out their number and the woman calls them, then it's a sure sign that she's interested. 

Giving out a number and not getting a call-back just sounds less stressful than asking for a number and being rejected. 

Anyways .. these are just hunches. Who knows what the real motives are.


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## Twoshoe (Mar 2, 2011)

Maybe getting your number was impossible, because one of you seemed busy at the time?

If the woman in question is working (waitress, cashier, etc), it may actually be a considerate idea to leave a number rather than trying to chat her up during her shift.

Other than that, maybe they notice you're really warm, sociable, and good at planning things, and they're thinking: "here, you handle it".


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## Hunny Bunny (Jan 12, 2011)

Tortured said:


> Giving out a number and not getting a call-back just sounds less stressful than asking for a number and being rejected.


This makes sense, I guess. It's just so funny to me. 


Btw, I was referring to more than friendship here - where it seems pretty clear the guys want more than to just be friends. For instance, one guy gave me his number - saying, "I got tired of waiting for you to ask for my number, so I decided to just give it to you." 
??!!! **confused** 
I'm thinking, "Ok, then why didn't you just ask for _my_ number?" Lol

Silly boys.


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## Hunny Bunny (Jan 12, 2011)

Twoshoe said:


> Other than that, maybe they notice you're really warm, sociable, and good at planning things, and they're thinking: "here, you handle it".


Haha - THAT, I am. ;-) Is it really obvious?


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## Sonny (Oct 14, 2008)

Path of least rejection?


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## SilentScream (Mar 31, 2011)

Hunny Bunny said:


> "I got tired of waiting for you to ask for my number, so I decided to just give it to you."


How long have you known him?


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## Twoshoe (Mar 2, 2011)

Hunny Bunny said:


> Haha - THAT, I am. ;-) Is it really obvious?


Well, I've met two ESFJ business women before, and just from how put together they are, you can usually tell they're a J, and really organized. And, since they're usually multitasking (like dealing with 3 clients at once, or taking the train home while doing paperwork) I immediately assume they really value their time.

I find ESFJs appealing, and I'm sure lots of IxxP men do too, just for the extroversion and ability to get things done.


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

Sonny said:


> Path of least rejection?


Could be. It gives them a bit of control -- they can give you their number whether you want it or not -- but it's not quite the rejection if you never call, vs if they ask you for your number and you say, "No" to their face.


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## Hunny Bunny (Jan 12, 2011)

Tortured said:


> How long have you known him?



Well the particular guy that said that, I'd known for a little over a month and we'd been flirting a lot. Other circumstances vary - like one guy I'd known for months (but just saw here and there) out of the blue was like, "call me!!" 

I was just mainly wondering if this is some kind of new dating trend, since it seems to have happened so much to me lately. Lol.


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## Twoshoe (Mar 2, 2011)

Hunny Bunny said:


> Btw, I was referring to more than friendship here - where it seems pretty clear the guys want more than to just be friends. For instance, one guy gave me his number - saying, "*I got tired of waiting for you to ask for my number, so I decided to just give it to you.*"


That's a really cocky line, like straight out of a player's handbook. Next time, ask him if he didn't have the courage to ask for yours. Hahaha.

--

Honestly, I wouldn't expect a girl to contact me if I gave her my number, unless it was under special circumstances (where I couldn't get hers, or I had to be considerate with her time). I'm shy and young, and even I know not to do that.

It would be perfectly appropriate to ignore these guys if you feel like it.


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## MyName (Oct 23, 2009)

This is actually a logical way to do things like this, since both people (the person giving the number and the person calling) have to take some kind of initiative. If one person has to ask another for their number and _then_ has to be the first one to call, there might be some doubts.


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## searcheagle (Sep 4, 2011)

Hunny Bunny said:


> This makes sense, I guess. It's just so funny to me.
> 
> 
> Btw, I was referring to more than friendship here - where it seems pretty clear the guys want more than to just be friends. For instance, one guy gave me his number - saying, "I got tired of waiting for you to ask for my number, so I decided to just give it to you."
> ...


Well, THAT sounds like a pickup line to me. If you called, it would have worked.


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## Master Mind (Aug 15, 2011)

I know that many women (don't know what percentage this is of women as a whole, but I personally know this to be true) don't give out their numbers to guys, but instead get the guy's number so that _they_ have control of when they talk to the guy. I have many female friends who change their numbers because some guy keeps calling them. I'll get text messages from them letting me know that that's their new number. I actually overheard a guy trying to get a woman's number, and she replied, "I don't give my number out to guys I don't know. Why don't you give me _your_ number?" That way they can call them back at the time of their choosing, or they can simply not call them at all if there's no interest.


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## searcheagle (Sep 4, 2011)

Hunny Bunny said:


> Ok so I'm kinda newly single again so I'm not sure if I'm out of touch or what? One thing I've noticed and am kinda puzzled about is guys giving me their phone numbers. Is this a new/normal thing people do these days?
> 
> I was always under the impression that guys were supposed to ask girls for their numbers and that guys call the girl first (call me traditional, I guess). Not that I'm opposed to it, but it's happened a few times to me recently and I'm not really sure what to think. I kinda feel weird about calling a guy first, you know? I know the "dating games" evolve and change all the time... but I'm just wondering what to make of this. Does this mean the guy thinks I'm easy or something? Lol
> 
> Can someone explain this to me?


From a romantic perspective, I think it could be a number of things. (I've never done this.)

1. Impossible to get yours (but possible to write mine down when I return the receipt to you.)
2. A non-intrusive way to get in touch with you. If I walk up to you, and ask for your number I'm forcing you to make a split second decision: yes or now. By giving you MY number, I am letting you make a decision on your pace. 
3. Possibility of a "second thought." If I give you my number, you can think: "no way" but change your mind say, you know what- let me give that guy a call.

Guys are under so much pressure to avoid putting to much pressure, aka being "creepy" I think that this is a lower pressure way to ask you out. He has still taken the initiative to get further communicate with you. 

A had a friend who told me he did this earlier this year. They had a brief conversation then he gave her his number. They texted back and forth for a while and actually had a date scheduled.

He told me that he would not want to do it again-just because he didn't want to wait for her to call. He'd rather have the power to call her. (But at least when she did, he got her phone number then.)


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## searcheagle (Sep 4, 2011)

Hunny Bunny said:


> I was always under the impression that guys were supposed to ask girls for their numbers and that guys call the girl first (call me traditional, I guess). Not that I'm opposed to it, but it's happened a few times to me recently and I'm not really sure what to think. I kinda feel weird about calling a guy first, you know?


Oh, and i forgot to mention this earlier. It's the 21st Century! Women are allowed to dial phones now.... :tongue:


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

Im not sure of a mans game plan, but I have my own. If a guy gives me his number, i usually say "Alright, then let me give you mine as well", give them my number, and say goodbye. 

If you want to play it that way, throw away his number. Men arent the only ones that dont want to feel rejected. I throw away that number, and if hes interested he'll call. If not, Im never counting on it, and it is impossible for me to call him.

Men play the same games women do.


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## Dark Romantic (Dec 27, 2011)

Sonny said:


> Path of least rejection?


This. Those guys are probably just afraid that if they ask for your number, you'll tell them no and hurt their egos. It's much smarter to _trade _numbers; giving someone your number and just waiting for them to call you doesn't make any sense to me.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

Maybe I don't know much about modern social conventions, but I have always thought that anyone, regardless of gender, could do the pursuing, or could place himself/herself in a position to be pursued, depending on his/her actual desires and comfort level. Why should gender have anything to do with whether it is socially acceptable to want someone to call you?


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## Uviteru (Jul 30, 2012)

It normally just means he is interested in getting to know you and wants to exchange numbers. There are no "rules" If you like him and want to get to know him better, as either a friend or romantic partner, give him your number too and call him back. Otherwise don't!

Gender roles are going out of style and an age of equality is soon upon us!


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## Hunny Bunny (Jan 12, 2011)

Hunny Bunny said:


> "I got tired of waiting for you to ask for my number, so I decided to just give it to you."





TragicallyHip said:


> I actually thought this was a cute line



Yeah I thought it was really cute, too. In this case, it wasn't said in a douchey way. The guy was being really sweet. ;-)))


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## Uviteru (Jul 30, 2012)

Hruberen said:


> Just a question, how successful is it for a guy to give his number to a girl when he can't ask her e.g. Waitress, Bank teller, etc.?


It's a great way of filtering out women who are unsuitable due to over glamorizing of meaningless social games over honest human relationships.


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## Solrac026 (Mar 6, 2012)

I have to agree with the whole modern perspective changing the way things "work". I would definitely be up for giving a girl my number first for the following reasons.

1. I'm interested in you, but by forcing the option of you having to contact me first i have just;
a. Freed myself from rejection, not totally of course. I'll still be a bit bummed out if you never get back to me.
b. Not have to worry about you whether you like me or not. If you get back to me, then I assume you like me and if not, then it just wasn't meant to be for whatever reason. Whether it's because weren't interested or too afraid to get back to me.
c. If you didn't get back me due to lack of interest, it's a win-win. We both escape the inconvenience of rejection.


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## timeless (Mar 20, 2010)

@Eerie and I basically gave each other our phone numbers at the same time. It was really cute. We were both sending messages and I was right about to ask if I could call her, then she asked to call me before I could send it.


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## Hunny Bunny (Jan 12, 2011)

timeless said:


> @Eerie and I basically gave each other our phone numbers at the same time. It was really cute. We were both sending messages and I was right about to ask if I could call her, then she asked to call me before I could send it.



That is super cute. I love it when things work out that way. 
That's how you know it was meant to be. ;-)


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