# Is it normal to want to die?



## Cerridwen (Apr 11, 2015)

Hello...don't worry I have no intention of committing suicide...it's just quite often I get in a mood where I feel so tired of life and that it would just be easier if my life ended. Is it normal to think this way?

I try to enjoy life, and there are moments where I have fun etc. But life just seems strange to me...the way people have these routines that they go through. I often feel like I'm having to...go through life pretending? It's like I'm watching myself go through the motions. I work full-time, and often at the end of a tiring and stressful day I just think "what is the point of this shit?" but I think even if I was doing a job I enjoy I'd still feel like...why?

Sometimes it makes me jealous of people who have a faith. But other times I can feel so in love with our planet and how awe inspiring it is that I feel honored to witness it...but at the same time I just think okay I'm ready to go now. Like it wouldn't be so bad if I died in my sleep...but saying that of course it wouldn't be so bad for me because I'm not witnessing it...it's my family that would have to deal with it.

I'm just rambling now...I don't really know what I'm trying to say. But it is just a feeling of...I can't be bothered with life...can't be bothered with dealing with people's shit. Just had enough and want to go hide in a cave away from people...or die in my sleep.

Is this normal? Does everyone feel like this? (I've been on antidepressant/anxiety medication for a couple years and whilst this has helped my anxiety and stopped me crying all the time I still feel as above)


----------



## Aladdin Sane (May 10, 2016)

Cerridwen said:


> Hello...don't worry I have no intention of committing suicide...it's just quite often I get in a mood where I feel so tired of life and that it would just be easier if my life ended. Is it normal to think this way?
> 
> I try to enjoy life, and there are moments where I have fun etc. But life just seems strange to me...the way people have these routines that they go through. I often feel like I'm having to...go through life pretending? It's like I'm watching myself go through the motions. I work full-time, and often at the end of a tiring and stressful day I just think "what is the point of this shit?" but I think even if I was doing a job I enjoy I'd still feel like...why?
> 
> ...


I feel the same way and I also have [unmedicated] depression. I plan on getting on medication soon but I can't see my worldview changing, it's only logical to think the way you do. It's not like you are wrong. Maybe you are a nihilist like me or you just need to try different meds. Or maybe you are both depressed and a nihilist...


----------



## Sybok (Mar 9, 2012)

the concept of "normal" is not the same for all people. and there are many people, myself included, having sometimes thoughts of death. In my childhood I was scared of death and over the years, it became worse. I often contemplate about dying, but not in fear anymore, but in emotional distance (or I pretend it). I dont know if I am depressed, but my parents are, so probably its "in the family". I work hard to have a purpose in life, but when success stays away from me, I feel like wasting my existence... so this purpose is the only thing which keeps me alive. Not movies or music or books, which I loved more in my teenage or twen-years... but the struggle for process. and still, there is this seldom though of a razor blade like Harry Haller from The Steppenwolf, a book, I always see as a sign from the universe. I lost my extreme christian faith 13 years ago, easter 2003 and the universe seems to become colder every day I get up. but my death would never be an answer to that, this is my feeling about it.


----------



## Aletheia (Dec 25, 2014)

I've always considered thoughts of death and dying to be a completely normal response to the human condition. It's ironic, in a way, that our thoughts often drift to those places not necessarily out of wanting death, but out of wanting more from life. In that sense, nihilism, existential angst, apathy and the like are more of an opportunity to expand oneself rather than a dark well to plummet into.


----------



## Penny (Mar 24, 2016)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...how-recognizing-your-death-drive-may-save-you


----------



## undeadlesbian (Jun 26, 2016)

What you're describing is called suicidal ideation and while i wouldn't define anything related to someone's mental state as normal, i'd say it's fairly and unfortunately common?

You may want to look into changing your meds for depression until you find a good fit. That could be the issue. A lot of them actually increase these kinds of thoughts. Anyway it's something that's a little difficult to bring up to a therapist, but I encourage doing so. Just make sure you let them know that it's fleeting and that it's only thoughts!

I struggled with this for a while myself. And it got pretty stupid after a while. "I burnt this thing I was cooking. Might as well die!" "I got a C on this paper. Might as well die!" "Someone was snippy to me at work. Might as well die!" Like, it was ridiculous. My advice is to collect and remember the things that inspire that feeling of being in love with the word. And when you catch yourself falling into the pattern of negative thoughts and what have you, just think about that. I'd also suggest cognitive behavioral therapy which will give you the tools to fight negative thoughts automatically.

That got hokey but like. Lol?


----------



## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

i know how you feel
the correct term is existential angst [see kierkegaard's definition] 
it comes and goes like a bi polar yo yo:tongue:
you need to find balance 
how you find that balance is up to you


----------



## xdae (May 14, 2015)

Oh yeah, an existential crisis is a huge buzzkill. But I think it's a good wake up call . . . if you act on it that is. I don't suffer from chronic depression so I can't fully relate to your situation but I can offer some pep talk to push you.

When you question your existence that means your life lacks purpose. You're pursuing plenty of wrong goals right now. It's pretty much life smacking you and saying what the fuck are you working at this shitty office desk for a crappy boss getting crappy pay doing 8 hours of work a day that makes you feel crappy. But people are inherently lazy. They don't like change and don't like putting in effort. That's a sure way to live an unfulfilled regretful life. If you want to rid yourself of this self woe, act now.

What helps is delving deep into yourself. Find out what makes you happy and what makes you unhappy. Then make small steady changes to resonate more with your happy values. Like your distaste for boring routine and your full time job. Quit, find a job that involves travelling or something that interests you. Or stay in your comfort zone and keep working there, but remain unhappy. It's your call really.


----------



## Blessed Frozen Cells (Apr 3, 2013)

Life sucks, yes. 
Sometimes you feel like that's no purpose of living.
But wanting to die is a whole different subject because you can still want to live without a purpose.
Is wanting to die normal? I don't know. What's normal?


----------



## aef8234 (Feb 18, 2012)

Not really, but it isn't abnormal.


Wanting to die AND having a concise and clear plan is though.

If you start formulating plans, that's when you should get help, other than that, extreme cynicism is your choice bruh.


----------



## Cerridwen (Apr 11, 2015)

Thanks everyone for your thoughts, they've really helped...existential crises it is! Aaah hopefully I'll get over it...I'm moving out of my family home soon so I'll have more control over the direction my life is taking, so I shall start setting goals for myself and giving my life more purpose. :happy:


----------



## yet another intj (Feb 10, 2013)

Cerridwen said:


> Hello...don't worry I have no intention of committing suicide...it's just quite often I get in a mood where I feel so tired of life and that it would just be easier if my life ended. Is it normal to think this way?


Life is quite unpredictable and contains the whole spectrum of comfort and misery. Seeing it as yours, in a sense of absolute misery and seeking absolute comfort by the idea of removing your existence is nothing but failing to understand it as a concept. It won't be easier or harder if you are not here. It can be something, anything only if you are participating it. After all, I never understand why already mortal beings are so obsessed with the idea of death. Especially the ones who doesn't believe the afterlife.



Cerridwen said:


> I try to enjoy life, and there are moments where I have fun etc. But life just seems strange to me...the way people have these routines that they go through. I often feel like I'm having to...go through life pretending? It's like I'm watching myself go through the motions. I work full-time, and often at the end of a tiring and stressful day I just think "what is the point of this shit?" but I think even if I was doing a job I enjoy I'd still feel like...why?


Because life isn't enjoyable, as it's not tormenting. It's a fucked up mixture of anything and everything. Being alive alone is already a phenomenon. Indeed, you will "pretend living" if you want to focus one of it's somehow promising aspects to reject the rest. Besides the philosophical depth, you supposed to figure out that there are always many things you can change. Sometimes you should do something a little crazy to get out of the lesser evilism bubble. Even if you will end up worse, you will feel responsible for your own mistake. Decision making liberates us from self-pity and blame games. Nothing is that scary once you fail and survive "all by yourself".



Cerridwen said:


> Sometimes it makes me jealous of people who have a faith. But other times I can feel so in love with our planet and how awe inspiring it is that I feel honored to witness it...but at the same time I just think okay I'm ready to go now. Like it wouldn't be so bad if I died in my sleep...but saying that of course it wouldn't be so bad for me because I'm not witnessing it...it's my family that would have to deal with it.


You will die eventually. Choosing death is an illusion. It's not an "option" unless you are immortal. It's the inevitable fate of every single living being. So, enjoy the ride. Even if it's crappy, the stage is too big to "give up" as an insignificant individual. You can be greater as long as you will be a part of it's awkward beauty.



Cerridwen said:


> I'm just rambling now...I don't really know what I'm trying to say. But it is just a feeling of...I can't be bothered with life...can't be bothered with dealing with people's shit. Just had enough and want to go hide in a cave away from people...or die in my sleep.


Once again... Get out of your room, office, social circle, etc. The life is worth living. Not because it's pleasant, but because it's bigger and more complex than whatever made you feel depressed.



Cerridwen said:


> Is this normal? Does everyone feel like this? (I've been on antidepressant/anxiety medication for a couple years and whilst this has helped my anxiety and stopped me crying all the time I still feel as above)


I'm not a big fan of antidepressants... They make you ridiculously tolerant, instead of changing your perspective/your depressing environment. You can deal with the most horrifying family meeting when you are comfortably drunk yet that doesn't make you love, respect, understand your asshole uncle or make him more loving, respectful or understanding. Honestly dealing with life and people for having a solid result is impossible without blood, sweat and tears. There's no substance that can "teach" you how to hurt others carefully or get hurt selflessly to make things better.


----------



## Zen Lizard (Dec 28, 2013)

Go back to those times when you felt in love with our planet and how awe inspiring it is. Look for a spiritual or metaphysical practice that brings you more in touch with this particular awareness on a regular basis.


----------



## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

That's a wrong question. It doesn't matter if it is normal or not. Well, it probably isn't true anyway so it wouldn't be normal. But in that way, yes people do think that sometimes.


----------



## bruh (Oct 27, 2015)

Believe it or not. You sound depressed.


----------



## Rascal01 (May 22, 2016)

There is a certain amount of life that becomes routine. The 24 hour cycle which seems to repeat endlessly. Five days of work for your employer then the weekend as you choose to use it. People refer to it as being in a rut and time marches on. That cycle becomes a wake-up call and people struggle to escape.

The trick is to avoid it. Life need not be that way. Instead of drifting along on the sea of life, chart a course and start to paddle. Make the most of your journey and savor life.

The first step is realizing you are not happy where you are. The second is to want change and the third is find a goal and a direction. We are limited by our imaginations so take a bold step and dare to dream. Step away from self-imposed boundaries that prevent personal progress. "Oh, I could never do that" is your enemy. You have great potential, we all do, so turn it loose and let it take you somewhere you want to be.

What appeals to you? What interests you, draws you, attracts and inspires you? If you are not happy where you are, start getting ready to go there. Life need not be a repetition of the unpleasant that mummifies your soul.

Have you seen the purple sea off the coast of Malta? Have you crossed the Andes by motorcar and watched a jetliner fly below you or gotten too stiff to walk in a Dublin bar? There is much to life and I urge you carve a big slice of it for your own personal pleasure.

My life was similar to yours and I took that first step to fix it. I never looked back and never regretted it.

Think about your first step in a better direction.


----------



## MolaMola (Jul 28, 2012)

Answer: No. :/


----------



## Belzy (Aug 12, 2013)

Cerridwen said:


> Is this normal? Does everyone feel like this? (I've been on *antidepressant*/anxiety *medication *for a couple years and whilst this has helped my anxiety and stopped me crying all the time I still feel as above)


They tend to make people suicidal.


----------



## pertracto (Sep 4, 2015)

I don't know if it's normal or not, but I guess it is, like it can happen. Personally when I think about a life that needs to stop, it's never about mine (no psycho tho). 
But I want to help, I think you said it yourself, your problem is that you have no goal, no purpose in life. You need to change that, I suggest getting involved in an organism with concrete actions. 

Chose a cause and try to support it. Or chose someone and try to support them. I think one can only find a real purpose to their life if they are “helping” to achieve something down there.


----------



## springhaze (Jul 8, 2016)

Stay busy. Find a physical activity you enjoy such as walking, biking, ect. Endorphins really do help with depression. Volunteer. I recently partnered up with the company I work for and we landscaped a senior citizen center which was uplifting. Try something new. I'm starting violin lessons next week.


----------

