# "Friends" that drag you down.



## NihilisticCortez (Aug 22, 2013)

I have noticed just a few days ago that my "friends" have dragged me down so much. I am capable of so much. This past summer was the first time I actually hung out with friends. My goal was to go to parties and hopefully find a girl of interest. Did that happen? Nope. Instead I was stuck seeing pen*ses(no joke). Got lame after the first time and I realized how negative they were. It made me dislike people even more. A few days ago something happened in the school bus that involved the cops... I was innocent yet I got in trouble for the incident... I wasn't mad, just annoyed. Anyways, I processed all of this in my head... I had a conversation with these two girls while I attempted to work on a project in class... they kept talking about how I am a loner and how I don't talk much. In the end I realized that I am a loner and that it's best for me. All of my previous bonds/relationships don't matter... I wish to talk to no one. What bothered me most though was the fact that I(someone innocent) got blamed for something my "friends" did... the guilty left with no punishments. 
Anyways, I decided to express myself here since I don't have to talk face-to-face with anyone. Feel free to say anything.


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## Modal Soul (Jun 16, 2013)

i can totally see why having a run-in with the cops would annoy you, especially if you weren't at fault.
as you already know, these probably aren't the type of kids you should be associating yourself with. that doesn't necessarily mean you should give up on people altogether, though. i mean, you definitely can, if that's what you really want to do, but i don't personally believe brushing off all the people you have yet to meet is the best idea.

i have an INTJ friend who went through something similar. he attributed his lack of success in university to his friends and, although i agreed with him to an extent, nobody made him do anything. his friends were lazy potheads, sure, but that didn't mean he had to follow suit; he did that of his own free will. it actually got to a point where he wanted to transfer to a university out of state and never speak to them again. it sounded like a great idea at first but after talking it out he realized that despite how lazy and unmotivated his friends were, they were good friends. they were honest, loyal, and kind people. they didn't give him the mental stimulation he so desired, but there was nothing stopping him from making other friends who ~could~. 

that's not to say you should continue being friends with those hooligans, but please reconsider hating people, haha. those girls don't know what they're talking about (scratch that - most people don't know what they're talking about*) so disregard what they've said as well. 

but okay, my point is that toxic friends are only as toxic as you allow them to be. i think you have every right to blame your "friends," but what good would that do you? ...right? you gotta take responsibilities for your actions. i'm truly sorry to hear your friends did you like that, man, but i don't think there's anything you can do to ensure they'll be punished for what they did. if they did it once, there's a good chance they'll do it again... and _that's_ when they'll get what they deserve.

don't waste your time waiting for this to happen, tho. invest that time into meeting your full potential and succeeding in everything it is you want to do instead. you may not like people very much now, and rightfully so, but you'll find life boring and uneventful without the company of other people, even as an introvert.


and is that zetsu??? haha


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## princeharvey55 (Sep 16, 2013)

NihilisticCortez said:


> I have noticed just a few days ago that my "friends" have dragged me down so much. I am capable of so much. This past summer was the first time I actually hung out with friends. My goal was to go to parties and hopefully find a girl of interest. Did that happen? Nope. Instead I was stuck seeing pen*ses(no joke). Got lame after the first time and I realized how negative they were. It made me dislike people even more. A few days ago something happened in the school bus that involved the cops... I was innocent yet I got in trouble for the incident... I wasn't mad, just annoyed. Anyways, I processed all of this in my head... I had a conversation with these two girls while I attempted to work on a project in class... they kept talking about how I am a loner and how I don't talk much. In the end I realized that I am a loner and that it's best for me. All of my previous bonds/relationships don't matter... I wish to talk to no one. What bothered me most though was the fact that I(someone innocent) got blamed for something my "friends" did... the guilty left with no punishments.
> Anyways, I decided to express myself here since I don't have to talk face-to-face with anyone. Feel free to say anything.


Its in your decisions that lead you in situations regardless whether you like it or not, Point is you know(even if you don't) that this(what is happening right now to you) is a product of your choices.

Now if you think you are better alone then be alone. People are more comfortable whenever they tell they are. So if you feel its best for you to be alone then be alone.

And be happy alone. ^^


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## ElasticNebula (Sep 27, 2013)

Your friends sound like a bunch idiots.

I would just dump them. 

I went through a phase where I "outgrew" a group of friends. They called me a loner too, but I found new friends. One day, they realized it wasn't that I was a loner...it was just that I grew tired of their crap and replaced them.

It takes a while to find quality people to trust/be around. I like working with lots of people, but I have a handful of people that I keep very close/would go to the end of the world for them. People change throughout their lives...that sometimes means that you outgrow certain people. But, just because you've outgrown this group doesn't mean you're going to be a perpetual loner...it just means you have high standards that these people do not meet.

I actually believe that it's a good quality to be picky about the company you keep. I love being friends with these people...it feels a bit more special than being friends with the people that are friends with every Tom, Dick, and Harry.


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## PowerShell (Feb 3, 2013)

NihilisticCortez said:


> A few days ago something happened in the school bus that involved the cops... I was innocent yet I got in trouble for the incident...


That always get to be fun. I have a group of friends I go drinking with where this has happened many times because we get drunk and rowdy. It's not so much with the cops as the bars. Typically one of us gets out of hand but the whole group is kicked out. I am not innocent of it myself and have cause some trouble that has affected the group. There's 1 guy in particular who does the absolutely majority of the stuff. After a while it gets old and lately I've just quit drinking of the time being. Some groups of friends can definitely be a lot of fun but on the other end of things, there are certain norms of the group and if your norms or expectations exceed that of the group (like in my case all we did is get drunk and rowdy and never really had intelligent conversations or did anything constructive), it can get old.


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

l had a group of friends like that, before l really learned how to socialize on my own. l think this was part of the reason l became more outgoing. Or at least started taking more social initiative.

lt can be easy to be recruited by the wrong kind of people before you have yourself figured out and l also lived in a place where they were hard to avoid. 

l hate to say l was clueless socially, but l was and when those people can see that you don't really have anyone else to hang out with you're a pretty easy target. l stopped talking with them by dumping their ''leader'' who was really just a bully.

lf you plan on going to college that's probably the best solution, and when you can't rick being around people who might jeopardize your legal status and have you disqualified for student aid, etc.

You don't really need to try to understand them and l wouldn't ''empathize'' too much honestly. When younger people are going through this phase, it's going to take some time for them to see what they're doing. 
You are a young person who already has the foresight to see that they're stupid, don't take that for granted.


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## StElmosDream (May 26, 2012)

"Show me your friends and I will tell you whom you are as a person" seems very apt here, for example how insecurity may magnetise other insecure types or 'protectors' seeking to bring us out of a rut; when we feel more secure in our own boundaries and needs over time we should attract more healthy types or require more awareness to not simply attract shadows of our former selves, making us 'the expert protector'.


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