# A Complex Istp/intp Relationship



## RhamielAngel (Nov 1, 2010)

I'm an Intp and I'm new to this forum or to any myers briggs forum at all. I was always a bit skeptical about going to others for help or speculation on any of my personal problem, but upon thinking about it for a while, I determined that hearing other's points of view might be appreciated. 

I've known an intp for approximately three years and our relationship has been like something out of a movie in its drama. Of course, I never have any idea what this istp is thinking or why, but perhaps the biggest question that plagues me, is why he's still kept in contact with me after all this time? I've given up on him altogether several times, but he always comes back to grab my intention once again. 

Is it because he's bored or does he genuinely enjoy my company?


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## honestfi (Jun 25, 2010)

First, are you sure he is ISTP? I'm sensing an F in there for a kick off.


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## RhamielAngel (Nov 1, 2010)

I'm relatively sure that he's an Istp, though he never took the myers-briggs, so all evidence to back that is mine alone. I've looked at all of the profiles in relation to him, and he seems to fit the Istp profile more than anything else. 

What happened in our relationship to cause such a catastrophic ending so long ago, was primarily my fault. I knew very little about him because he was always hesitant to reveal even the smallest bits of information. I was driven to understand and solve the puzzle that was him, so I probed (admittedly too deeply) into his personal life for information. I don't believe this is what caused the problem however. It must have certainly pestered him, but I think what really did it was when I insisted he was upset with me and that I was the cause of the frustrations he'd been feeling for a while. He snapped, informing me that everything in the world does not revolve around me and then chose to begin ignoring me altogether. I came to find out later that he was having many family problems and it truly had nothing to do with me. By that time, it was too late however because he had decided to shut out the world completely. I was sure I would never hear from him again, and was quite surprised to recieve an email from him several months later. 

We've kept in contact ever since, though there have been a few more dramatic scenes that have caused us to go a couple months without communication, mostly occurring when the above situation is brought to the surface again.


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## alionsroar (Jun 5, 2010)

Hanging around someone you don't like sounds like a terrible cure for boredom so I tend to think he does like your company. But what is it that you are after?


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## RhamielAngel (Nov 1, 2010)

pc3000 said:


> Hanging around someone you don't like sounds like a terrible cure for boredom so I tend to think he does like your company. But what is it that you are after?


Ah, spotlight on me?! DX 

Currently, I simply want to understand his motives. As for _why_ those motives interest me so, I will admittedly say that I've grown far more attached to him than I am usually willing to admit.


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## foashumeu (May 8, 2011)

Hey sorry to bother you, but you won't believe how similar our situations are, I'm an INTP involved with an ISTP for over 3 years now and I can say that I've had the same probs/worries that you are having and I'm still trying to deal with him even now. Would like to send me and IM screen name or something, I think we could debate our experiences and maybe try to find some answers.
Hope to hear from you,
Svet

Just to be clear, I am a straight female and I am not trying to hit on you!


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

I just got out of a two-year relationship with an ISTP that turned out to be a total nightmare. We had serious communication issues that by the end of it were almost exclusively stemming from him refusing to make an attempt. Although we got along quite well as friends, we had very different desires both in our personal lives and career interests (or lack thereof), and couldn't always see eye-to-eye. However, I can't say that it's the same problem you might have, since I'm pretty positive now that I am an ENTP. All I know is that ISTPs are notorious for having very unsuccessful relationships, and I have personal experience that definitely backs this up.


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