# 20 Reasons Why You're Still Single Women.



## ForsakenMe

I read the "20 Reasons Why You're Still Single Men" thread, and had an idea that it's time to create a list for us ladies and for the confused, single ladies out there wondering just what the heck they're doing wrong that's driving literally all the men in their lives away.

Let's start.

*Reason 1: You're Too "Fun".*









_Everybody likes a funny lady... However, there is such thing as being too funny. If you don't take life or yourself seriously at all, how will you expect for men to take YOU seriously at all? You can crack jocks from time to time, but when the situation calls for being serious, lay away the Dane Cook jokes for a while._

*Reason 2: You're A Party Girl.*









_If your life only consists of partying hard every night and sleeping in during the day, no doubt that guys would steer clear of having any serious commitments with you. Being the obnoxious drunk girl would only get you in bed and the guy "mysteriously" disappearing when morning arrives._

*Reason 3: Your Friends Are Complete Bitches.*









_You are the company that you keep. And in this case, if your friends are the type to cause nothing but drama for everyone even mildly involved int heir lives, guys will pick this up and stay away from you in fear of being ridiculed by them, or having them ruin the relationship due to petty jealousy and immaturity. Lose the skank team and find better friends._

*Reason 4: You're Too Picky.*









_Your perfect guy: Athletic, super-genius, has the artistic talents of Picasso, as handsome as Brad Pitt, and has more money than God. Realize that nobody will ever be perfect, and that you need to take in the guy's flaws as well as his good points. Chill!_

*Reason 5: You Have A Bad Attitude.*









_Overly-complaint, demanding, controlling, always putting everyone down, insecure with self, can never take a joke, has the tendency to scowl and sneer at everyone... Rings a bell?_

*Reason 6: You're Still In Love With Your Ex.*









_You're always bringing him up in the conversations between you and other men. You still wear the necklace that he gave you for the 1 year anniversary you celebrated a long time ago. You keep in very close contact with him and go out with him "as friends" out on the night in town... While your boyfriend is nervously waiting by the phone._

*Reason 7: You're Mentally Unstable.*









_Whether you're just mildly depressed, or severely schizophrenic with a sociopathic personality... Your mental illness will frustrate and may even scare men away, even if they do love you to bits. Solution? Go get professional help before you can even THINK about dating again. You deserve to be happy and healthy... And your relationships will turn COMPLETELY better for everyone involved._

*Reason 8: You're Too Flirty.*









_Flirting is a great way to meet and have fun with men. Once you're in a relationship, though, you may need to cut this out when you are with other males. Flirting with your (Or God forbid, his!) male friends is just asking for a dumping... Either stop this bad habit, or enjoy being a flirt... For the rest of your life._

*Reason 9: You're Too Fast To Get Into Bed With.*









_Ain't nothing wrong with being proud of your body and sexuality... However, it is been said for so long that in the dating world, getting in bed with a man before the 3rd date and beyond will strip away all the mystery, and the guy losing interest. It sucks, but learn to be a little patient, and focus on your guy instead of his schling-schlong; THAT comes later, and the anticipation will be worth it in the end, promise!_

*Reason 10: You're Too Nice.*









_Yes! Even women can be "the nice guy"! Remember that while being laid-back, sweet and giving are some great traits that men can find in a woman, it's also okay to think for yourself and to say "No" every once in a while to your guy... He is not your whole world, and growing a little back bone can make you even MORE attractive in his eyes._

*Reason 11: You Have A Jealous Ex-Lover.*









_We all have one... That stupid ex-boyfriend of ours who can never get the clue that it's over between the two of you, or the guy you had a short fling with can't fathom the idea of you dating other guys. Men who find threatening or overly sexual messages from the ex on your phone will not be pleased, and may consider second thoughts. It's not that you are not worthy of fighting for... They just don't want unnecessary drama in their lives. And who can blame them? Tell your crazy exes to kick rocks and leave you the hell alone... Or maybe you enjoy making men jealous because you are insecure or have a thirst for drama?_

*Reason 12: You Are Self-Destructive.*









_Whether you abuse drugs, alcohol, participate in self-injury or otherwise... You have to realize that men don't find this behavior attractive, and you also have to realize that men cannot save you, only YOU can. You don't need men right now... You need to check in a rehab facility or a therapist who can help you._

*Reason 13: You're Too... Male.*









_Listen, there's nothing wrong with pursuing sports or video games. Heck, there's nothing wrong with having fun and getting down and dirty... However, being exactly the same as his male friend replica is just asking for getting invited to the dreaded "friendzone". Ever heard of guys describing one of their female friends, who happens to wrestle buff men for fun, as "the sister they never had"? Yeah, it ain't pretty! Remember to get in touch with your feminine side as well! Burping, farting, having body odor, not shaving, and dressing like a dude is just too much for a heterosexual guy to handle._

*Reason 14: You're High-Maintenance.*









_Your boyfriend isn't Donald Trump. Unless your man is rich and doesn't mind spoiling you everyday, lay off the money-hungry attitude._

*Reason 15: You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.*









_Your man has a life, and you need to focus on yours! Get some new friends, get a job, or pursue some interesting hobbies. In the same token, remember to spend some time with your significant other; Your friends/job/hobbies/etc can't take up ALL of your time, unless you enjoy being a busy, SINGLE lady!_

*Reason 16: You Nag Too Much.*









_Do I really need to explain? Or are you just gonna yell at me to clean the dishes all over again?_

*Reason 17: You're Abusive.*









_It is NEVER okay to hit a man. Ever. Domestic violence is very serious, and your man should never be your personal punching bag for all the issues that you possess._

*Reason 18: You're Too Shy.*









_Men aren't always the initiator to everything, so sometimes, you're going to have to buck up and ask him out first! Confidence is sexy, and men will appreciate you making the first move; It's a breath of fresh air!_

*Reason 19: You're A Slob.*









_Take a damn shower! Shave, apply deodorant, take care of your hair and skin... You are not a pig, and having very bad body odor won't attract any guys, unless you like very strange guys!_

*Reason 20: You Pretend To Be Dumb.*









_Being the dumb blonde chick might be seemingly endearing... For a short while!_


----------



## Vaka

ForsakenMe said:


> *Reason 11: You Have A Jealous Ex-Lover.*


LOL

I think I remember another thread like this a while back. I'm not sure why it wasn't stickied along with the male version, though.


----------



## ForsakenMe

Lara Croft said:


> LOL
> 
> I think I remember another thread like this a while back. I'm not sure why it wasn't stickied along with the male version, though.


LOL, it's the "20 reasons why you're still single men", it's stickied and everything.











Dude, this picture is just wrong but strangely sensual... Agh, what is wrong with meeee! :crazy:


----------



## KrystRay

ForsakenMe said:


> *Reason 3: Your Friends Are Complete Bitches.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _You are the company that you keep. And in this case, if your friends are the type to cause nothing but drama for everyone even mildly involved int heir lives, guys will pick this up and stay away from you in fear of being ridiculed by them, or having them ruin the relationship due to petty jealousy and immaturity. Lose the skank team and find better friends._
> 
> *Reason 4: You're Too Picky.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Your perfect guy: Athletic, super-genius, has the artistic talents of Picasso, as handsome as Brad Pitt, and has more money than God. Realize that nobody will ever be perfect, and that you need to take in the guy's flaws as well as his good points. Chill!_
> 
> *Reason 14: You're High-Maintenance.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Your boyfriend isn't Donald Trump. Unless your man is rich and doesn't mind spoiling you everyday, lay off the money-hungry attitude._
> 
> *Reason 15: You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Your man has a life, and you need to focus on yours! Get some new friends, get a job, or pursue some interesting hobbies. In the same token, remember to spend some time with your significant other; Your friends/job/hobbies/etc can't take up ALL of your time, unless you enjoy being a busy, SINGLE lady!_


This is pretty much me in a nutshell. Then there's the whole me being dramatic aspect, but that could just be an extension of high maintenance AKA crazy.


----------



## Neon Knight

*Angry hasty response in rant format*

Forward: I CHOSE to be single, mostly because of shit like this.

[RANT]

*Reason 4: You're Too Picky.*
Probably, but I feel like I have reasons to be these days.

*Reason 5: You Have A Bad Attitude.*
See above answer.

*Reason 6: You're Still In Love With Your Ex.*
I really hate it when guy does this, hopefully I don't.

*Reason 7: You're Mentally Unstable.*
_Whether you're just mildly depressed, or severely schizophrenic with a sociopathic personality... Solution? Go get professional help before you can even THINK about dating again. _
That's pretty much what I'm doing :happy:

*Reason 9: You're Too Fast To Get Into Bed With.*
_it is been said for so long that in the dating world, getting in bed with a man before the 3rd date and beyond will strip away all the mystery, and the guy losing interest. It sucks, but learn to be a little patient, and focus on your guy instead of his schling-schlong_
Then quit bugging, begging, bribing us and maybe that would be more of a possibility. I wish these guys would fucking make up their minds, anyone else feel this way, or been through this too? Oh and...hyprocrites! And try taking your eyes of our chests when talking to us ok?

*Reason 10: You're Too Nice.*
Again, make up your fucking minds!! We can't be the madonna AND the whore and when we are you complain about it.

*Reason 11: You Have A Jealous Ex-Lover.*
Another one I hate that I've been through with guys, so I get this one.

*Reason 12: You Are Self-Destructive.*
_Whether you abuse drugs, alcohol, participate in self-injury or otherwise... You have to realize that men don't find this behavior attractive, and you also have to realize that men cannot save you, only YOU can. You don't need men right now... You need to check in a rehab facility or a therapist who can help you._
Hypocrites!!

*Reason 13: You're Too... Male.*
Ever heard of Metrosexual or Manscaping? Not very manly... :happy: 

*Reason 15: You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.*
I'm sick of repeating myself, make up your minds already!

*Reason 16: You Nag Too Much.*
_Do I really need to explain? Or are you just gonna yell at me to clean the dishes all over again?_
How about you try doing some chores without being asked for once? I never yell, I ask nicely.

*Reason 18: You're Too Shy.*
_Men aren't always the initiator to everything, so sometimes, you're going to have to buck up and ask him out first! Confidence is sexy, and men will appreciate you making the first move; It's a breath of fresh air!_
I'm so tired of repeating myself so I'm not going to.

*Reason 19: You're A Slob.*
_Take a damn shower! Shave, apply deodorant, take care of your hair and skin... You are not a pig, and having very bad body odor won't attract any guys, unless you like very strange guys!_
This goes for you too guys...

*Reason 20: You Pretend To Be Dumb.*
_Being the dumb blonde chick might be seemingly endearing... For a short while!_
Maybe if we DIDN'T get the message that the dumb blonde gets all the guys, those who do wouldn't feel like they had to.

[/RANT]


----------



## OctoberSkye

I agree with all of these except #9. It takes two to tango and it's bullshit to stigmatize the woman when the man wanted it just as much or more. #18 isn't always a bad thing, either.


----------



## Goodewitch

Revy 2hand is spot on here... make up yer bloody minds,..we cant be a walking dichotomy.
The hypocrisy inherant in some of those points is palpable.
Talk about trying to be everything and all, and nothing and something and one and the other but sometimes both!! Jeebus H Christ, no wonder I remain single, with impossible standards like this, who wouldnt be?
G. x


----------



## Neon Knight

Thank god, I thought I'd be jumped all over on this one :happy:


----------



## ilphithra

Oh... this explains why I can't understand most of you women for the life or me... and I AM a woman...


----------



## KrystRay

Is it strange that I can blame my mother for every reason listed here that makes me crazy?


----------



## skycloud86

A male response to this list (in regards to straight couples) - 



ForsakenMe said:


> *Reason 1: You're Too "Fun".*


Nothing wrong with being "too fun", although the worst thing in that paragraph was the mention of Dane Cook and jokes in the same sentence.



> *Reason 2: You're A Party Girl.*


This would personally not be a quality I would look for in a woman as we would be virtually polar opposites, but I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing in moderation.



> *Reason 3: Your Friends Are Complete Bitches.*


Those friends don't sound particularly good for any woman regardless of how they affect her chances of getting into a relationship.



> *Reason 4: You're Too Picky.*


I think this is a given for both sexes.



> *Reason 5: You Have A Bad Attitude.*


This would put a lot of people off in either sex, and so would the opposite - the doormat.



> *Reason 6: You're Still In Love With Your Ex.*


Whilst there's nothing wrong with being friends with an ex-partner, I think being in love with them will damage the current relationship.



> *Reason 7: You're Mentally Unstable.*


This seems to be a stereotype of women, and I do see a lot of women worrying about their mental health and being too quick to diagnose themselves with certain mental illnesses (seriously, the number of women on-line who claim to have bi-polar disorder is huge, although men are just as guilty of self-diagnosis). That being said, a good partner would be able to help their partner work through any actual mental instability and grow into a more mentally healthy person.



> *Reason 8: You're Too Flirty.*


This should be a given for both sexes.



> *Reason 9: You're Too Fast To Get Into Bed With.*


This one isn't even in the male one, where I would have thought it would actually be. I think the time it takes to start the sexual part of any relationship depends on the individual partners within the relationship. If a couple feel ready to have sex after a couple of dates, go ahead, and if the couple feel unready they should wait until both feel ready to bring the sexual element into the relationship.



> *Reason 10: You're Too Nice.*


This is a very good one to take notice of - most men do not want a sweet little housewifey doormat who will do anything for her man (and if you are in a relationship with the minority of men who do, I would suggest leaving them before you end up getting beaten up every day and unable to leave the house). Modern men want equals, they want a woman who thinks for herself and is an active and equal partner in the relationship.



> *Reason 11: You Have A Jealous Ex-Lover.*


Many men are psychotic, this is true, and unfortunately many men don't mind making fools of themselves by acting like possessive maniacs. These men need to be sternly told to go away, to leave you alone and to get over it.



> *Reason 12: You Are Self-Destructive.*


I agree fully with the paragraph that was written for this one - when someone is self-destructive, it means that you need to focus on yourself. Take some time to help yourself as a person.



> *Reason 13: You're Too... Male.*


Most men don't mind some masculine behaviours in women, and most men don't care if their girlfriend farts and burps. This really depends on what sort of man he is - the more conservative, traditional men probably want a relationship with a woman who is also conservative and traditional, whilst the more modern, progressive men want a relationship with more modern women.



> *Reason 14: You're High-Maintenance.*


The paragraph written for this one seems to assume that women don't have their own incomes (although women do get paid less simply for being female, even if they are amongst the best in their industry). Noone of either sex wants a partner who is too high-maintenance, but this doesn't mean that you have to become low-maintenance, just tone it down slightly.



> *Reason 15: You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.*


I think for the more introverted men, too clingy will be worse than too distant, and it would be the opposite for the more extroverted men. Even so, both are not great and men want to be in a relationship.

*Reason 16: You Nag Too Much.*









This one is very stereotypical and assumes that women are like the parent and men are like the child in a relationship (which is actually different to how society sees it, with men being seen by society as the more capable, more adult sex and women as the more child-like, less capable sex). Household chores should be shared equally (a good tip I read said that men should aim to do 60% of the housework, because then they will probably do their 50%), and we should all clean up after ourselves anyway 9if you used the plate and cutlery, wash and dry them. If you have clothes to wash, use the washing machine). No one partner should be doing everything.



> *Reason 17: You're Abusive.*


This should be for both sexes. There's no reason why anyone should be hitting their partners, and if you do, then you should not be in a relationship, you should trying to manage your anger. Men are often victims of domestic abuse, and many cases go unreported because society looks down on men who dare complain of being hit by a woman. Just because women in general tend to have lower upper body strength (women have higher lower body strength in general), doesn't mean that it's more acceptable for a woman to punch a man (and if you think it is, ask yourself - if the woman was the six foot tall partner and the man the five foot tall partner, would it still be more acceptable for her to hit him than if the heights and roles were reversed?).



> *Reason 18: You're Too Shy.*


Most men would be flattered at being asked out by a woman, and the worst he can say is no. A lot of people, both men and women, are shy, but if you build up confidence and self-esteem you can do it.



> *Reason 19: You're A Slob.*


Whilst you should obviously have some idea of personal hygiene, this one should be more directed towards men than women, as men tend to be slobbier and women are usually under a lot of social pressure to be as close to perfect as they can get.



> *Reason 20: You Pretend To Be Dumb.*


The media, and some men, may make you think it's attractive to seem less intelligent than you really are, but a mature man will find intelligence to be very attractive in a woman. If a man is looking for a woman with low intelligence, he's probably a control freak who is looking for a sex toy and domestic servant. Forget what society thinks about women showing their intelligence - the gender roles were made up by morons who couldn't appreciate intellect - and use those brains, because most men will be attracted to a clever woman.


----------



## ForsakenMe

Oh wow, my thread has been stickied! I feel very much appreciated, thank you guys. 

I'm going to now responds to some of the ladies in this thread... Just like how some women possess these traits, MEN can also have these traits as well. I hope you guys realize that there is a thread just like this geared towards men as well- Both sexes are at fault for committing bad stuff in relationships.

For those who feel that men are very hypocritical... I strongly believe in balance. Just like the one I put down about being too clingy vs. being too distant... You should try and strike a balance in maintaining a sense of individuality (Have friends, a job, hobbies, focusing on yourself, etc.) and also pay attention to your relationship as well.


----------



## Neon Knight

Skycloud, you just raised my hopes for the possibility that there are more enlightened men out there than I previously thought :happy: A note though, I was actually with a few introverted types who thought I was too distant. I just don't like to talk about my feelings, something that I've heard men complain about not liking to do and I get the complaints that I'm not doing it, I must be meeting bizarro men or something...


----------



## Antithesis

ForsakenMe said:


> *Reason 5: You Have A Bad Attitude.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Overly-complaint, demanding, controlling, always putting everyone down, insecure with self, can never take a joke, has the tendency to scowl and sneer at everyone... Rings a bell?_
> 
> *Reason 9: You're Too Fast To Get Into Bed With.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Ain't nothing wrong with being proud of your body and sexuality... However, it is been said for so long that in the dating world, getting in bed with a man before the 3rd date and beyond will strip away all the mystery, and the guy losing interest. It sucks, but learn to be a little patient, and focus on your guy instead of his schling-schlong; THAT comes later, and the anticipation will be worth it in the end, promise!_
> 
> *Reason 13: You're Too... Male.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Listen, there's nothing wrong with pursuing sports or video games. Heck, there's nothing wrong with having fun and getting down and dirty... However, being exactly the same as his male friend replica is just asking for getting invited to the dreaded "friendzone". Ever heard of guys describing one of their female friends, who happens to wrestle buff men for fun, as "the sister they never had"? Yeah, it ain't pretty! Remember to get in touch with your feminine side as well! Burping, farting, having body odor, not shaving, and dressing like a dude is just too much for a heterosexual guy to handle._
> 
> *Reason 18: You're Too Shy.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Men aren't always the initiator to everything, so sometimes, you're going to have to buck up and ask him out first! Confidence is sexy, and men will appreciate you making the first move; It's a breath of fresh air!_


Bad attitude... not quite but I tend to say what I think about people, even if it isn't very nice. I can usually say why I think that but I find certain types get very uncomfortable with the blunt truth. Sometimes I can be judgemental.

Too fast... what can I say, learned my lesson the last time there. But it was a pretty fun lesson to learn and I know it would never have worked out anyway, we're too different! I'll be more reserved next time, and I didn't get a reputation in the process.

'Male'ness... not physically, but I often find that I think more like a guy than a girl. I don't have typically girly reactions to things (except spiders) and much as guys complain about women, they want/expect that kind of behaviour. 

Shy... sort-of. I don't tend to initiate as I'm not very good at telling other people's feelings and I don't want to make a prat of myself! I'm not shy in talking to people I like though, I'll make an effort to spend time with them in the (normally vain) hope it might lead somewhere!

Meh, I could be much worse! :laughing:


----------



## skycloud86

Antithesis said:


> 'Male'ness... not physically, but I often find that I think more like a guy than a girl. I don't have typically girly reactions to things (except spiders) and much as guys complain about women, they want/expect that kind of behaviour.


I hate spiders myself. I don't mind if they leave me alone and don't come near me, but if I suddenly discover one on me it freaks me out.


----------



## Gaminegirlie

None even come close.


----------



## PhillyFox

ForsakenMe said:


> *Reason 3: Your Friends Are Complete Bitches.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _You are the company that you keep. And in this case, if your friends are the type to cause nothing but drama for everyone even mildly involved int heir lives, guys will pick this up and stay away from you in fear of being ridiculed by them, or having them ruin the relationship due to petty jealousy and immaturity. Lose the skank team and find better friends._


I used to have this problem in high school. It didn't really affect my love life at the time because I wasn't really looking for anyone, but it did affect me having friends outside of our little clique. One of my jackass friends said something aloud about this other really sweet girl that was in my class. She overheard it and wouldn't talk to me until college. 

Happily to say I'm rid of them. Mostly because I pissed off our mother hen that's still hung up on the high school clique thing. But trust me, you're MUCH better off without them.



ForsakenMe said:


> *Reason 4: You're Too Picky.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Your perfect guy: Athletic, super-genius, has the artistic talents of Picasso, as handsome as Brad Pitt, and has more money than God. Realize that nobody will ever be perfect, and that you need to take in the guy's flaws as well as his good points. Chill!_


This is not necessarily a bad thing. I don't know how many times I've heard of girls getting involved with these guys that are no good just because they need someone to be with. In the end after they break up, they find themselves regretting falling for the wrong guy. It might not be a huge problem when you're just starting out in the field of dating and you're not really looking for a serious relationship, but it's a whole different story when you are. In my opinion you're only cheating yourself when you settle for Mr. Good-Enough-F-Now instead of looking for Mr. Right. I've done this before and it was basically a waste of my life and one big disappointment.


----------



## JoetheBull

Good news everybody. I decided to say a few things out of boredom (never said it was good news for you). *" Warning"* the following is the thoughts and opinions of a possibly idiotic person. It does not reflect any opinions of normal guys or men


*Reason 2: You're A Party Girl.*









I would have a problem with this if she will possibly drag me to all of them. Once in a blue moon is ok. I am not much of a party person so it's really nothing against the girl herself.

*Reason 3: Your Friends Are Complete Bitches.*









If there that bad I'll start using ninja tactics. They can't possible do anything to me if they can't find me:laughing:. Also what would they do in the first place. I am not to familiar how these types of girls act and behave in groups. I never really paid attention to them since they seem boring to study and understand. And in turn they didn't really knew I existed either:laughing:

*Reason 4: You're Too Picky.*









This would be more of a reason why I am still single. I have so many faults in my appearance and personality that it causes earth quakes. It's no wonder why girls go for the more acne prone idoits with no IQ or money over me.

*Reason 6: You're Still In Love With Your Ex.*









If this was the case. I am at fault for asking her out to the point of insanity(I learned to give up much sooner now) that she said yes to try to end it. Not very realistic or likely to happen. I have heard something about girls getting into relationships right after the previous one ended to prevent and fill the void from loneliness. I never had first hand experience so he can be full of it for all I know.

*Reason 7: You're Mentally Unstable.*









If this was true there should be more single people out there. It seems everyone and there dog is depressed at times.

*Reason 8: You're Too Flirty.*









Since I am unaware of flirting most of the time my insane jealousy will not even notice as well. 

*Reason 9: You're Too Fast To Get Into Bed With.*









Wouldn't effect me too much. Might have the thought that she is only using me for sex and wonder it she going to beat the crap out of me for trying cuddle with her afterwards:laughing:. Takes a little more then sex to lose interest. But how likely is a girl going to try to sleep with me like that. I am sure the thought of me naked is enough for not to want to go all the way.

*Reason 10: You're Too Nice.*









once again. This is not supposed to be a list of why I am single

*Reason 11: You Have A Jealous Ex-Lover.*









Not the girls fault and shouldn't suffer because of it. Be a man and commit some terrorist ction against the jealous ex. Or better yet hack the FBI system and put him on the terrorist watch list and let them deal with it. If you can't tell I am not 100% serious about most of this post. Maybe 25% serious

*Reason 12: You Are Self-Destructive.*









I can understand this one a bit. 

*Reason 13: You're Too... Male.*









I am not going to go there. The thing I thought of first. not going to do it. 
Nothing wrong with Tomboys.

*Reason 15: You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.*









Reading this. I think that a girl would complain about me being both. Deal with that paradox.

*Reason 16: You Nag Too Much.*









Not so much of doing it more of how you do it. Nag me nicely and I will do it out of fear for the dark side you have hidden. 

*Reason 18: You're Too Shy.*









Ok time for me to be serious for once in this post. True i am not the most initiator kind of person and wouldn't mind a girl doing some of the initiation. I actually find the shyness attractive and have had a few crushes on girls that were very shy. 

*Reason 20: You Pretend To Be Dumb.*









There's girls that pretend to be stupid? No wonder I haven't crush on a girl for over 5 years.



This post alone is the reason I am single if not I'll spend another 10-15 years figuring it out.


----------



## Rohbiwan

I disagree with 9 - If there is not a passion too strong to make it through the first date, then we're not for each other. Sex and love can be good for a lifetime if you are in it cause you are not #7 (unstable) - mystery is overrated - mysterious isn't and lasts a lifetime. A quality woman doesn't loose her mojo cause she knows what she wants. That's not saying she should sleep with anyone, but she should not be afraid to sleep with someone she really connects with.


----------



## Stars

> Reason 10: You're Too Nice.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Yes! Even women can be "the nice guy"! Remember that while being laid-back, sweet and giving are some great traits that men can find in a woman, it's also okay to think for yourself and to say "No" every once in a while to your guy... He is not your whole world, and growing a little back bone can make you even MORE attractive in his eyes.


I have to agree with this one. I like it when women have an independent, openminded, assertive, able-to-say-no side as a companion piece to their kind, compassionate, loving, and cute side. When both those sides exist in the same women...man, that's attractive!


----------



## Apollo Celestio

Let's start.

*Reason 1: You're Too "Fun".*

This can be true, while a sense of humor is very good.. if you cannot know when to be serious.. I.. can't take your ideas seriously. I've never met a woman like this though. 

*Reason 2: You're A Party Girl.*
Pretty much, and chances are your drunk face won't have any interest in commitments either. 

*Reason 3: Your Friends Are Complete Bitches.*
Toxic people will ruin every good thing you have. It may be hard to get rid of them..Men can have female friends like this too. People they want "perpetually friend zoned"

*Reason 4: You're Too Picky.*
You will either be alone or become a hypocrite. 

*Reason 5: You Have A Bad Attitude.*


They can pick up co-dependent guys. 

*Reason 6: You're Still In Love With Your Ex.*

Don't put a man through this. 

*Reason 7: You're Mentally Unstable.*

....

*Reason 8: You're Too Flirty.*

This isn't a one night fixer, it's an interaction thing. It's bad to mislead though. 

*Reason 9: You're Too Fast To Get Into Bed With.*

Better to just not say anything here. 

*Reason 10: You're Too Nice.*

Balance is important, yes. Being nice and agreeable is a great trait though. 
*Reason 11: You Have A Jealous Ex-Lover.*

Or we could duel to the death for you.  
*Reason 12: You Are Self-Destructive.*

And they don't want healing.. only the drug of affirmation. 

*Reason 13: You're Too... Male.*

Depends on what you mean. 

*Reason 14: You're High-Maintenance.*

What a waste of life.

*Reason 15: You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.*

Understanding is important. It's not like only professionals can help. 

*Reason 16: You Nag Too Much.*



> Better to live on a corner of the roof
> than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.


*Reason 17: You're Abusive.*

Heh. 

*Reason 18: You're Too Shy.*

This is usually rationalized with number 4. 

*Reason 19: You're A Slob.*

I'd give a little slack.. and expect you to keep me on my toes. 

*Reason 20: You Pretend To Be Dumb.*

Intelligence is more important than looks to me. I'm not "turned on" by it.. but intellectual connection is important. If I can't talk about ideas with you how can we relate?


----------



## Stars

Reason #21: You talk too much. If you were more reserved and didn't feel the need to speak about every little thing that crosses your mind, men would find you more attractive. It also doesn't help that your speaking style is too histrionic and ditzy for my liking. Lyk omigosh turn off the T.V. and read some classic literature sometime. It'll make you a more thoughtful person.

Friday night on a university campus is not a good time to be an introvert.


----------



## vel

Lets see ...
1. Don't get out much/meet people.
2. Very lazy.
3. Picky/shy. Seem to fall into same category.
4. Not mentally stable.
5. Can be too distant.
6. Abusive sounds fun, I should try it in future *goes to order a leather whip on ebay*
7. Can do some painfully dumb things. No pretense required. I actually thought this one is a turn on? you do something dumb and then innocently ask for help or advice ^^

Never knew that being too nice can be a turn off o_0 … I don't agree that is is being nice that turns guys off, but being too needy and clingy, not being your own person, basically making relationship and your significant other be your ultimate goal/achievement. I don't think this is a good mindset to have yet some girls seem to very heavily fall into it.


----------



## Azura Nova

18 mostly... 10 maybe but not really.


----------



## ForsakenMe

My problems:

#7 - I have depression that needs to be taken care of... My emotional health isn't too perfect either (anxiety).
#9 - I lost my virginity to my first ex merely 4 months after we met. My second ex and I messed around about 3 weeks in. I need to slow down a little!
#10 - Yes, I am too nice... Yes, I say "yes" a lot to people... I can't help it. I LOVE spending time with those I adore. 
#11 - My ex-FWB needs to GO AWAY! >_<


----------



## PeevesOfCourse

How about, "I love being single because the b.s. of a partner underfoot is not worth it"?


----------



## kaye

Hahaha maybe just because all of the reasons are rigth, i mean i dont knw. just maybe. im a nagger im clingy im super un but i do have a boyfriend.were 4 years and counting.. maybe it just depends on the guy or in the situation. roud::tongue:


----------



## KrystRay

ForsakenMe said:


> My problems:
> 
> #7 - I have depression that needs to be taken care of... My emotional health isn't too perfect either (anxiety).
> #9 - I lost my virginity to my first ex merely 4 months after we met. My second ex and I messed around about 3 weeks in. I need to slow down a little!
> #10 - Yes, I am too nice... Yes, I say "yes" a lot to people... I can't help it. I LOVE spending time with those I adore.
> #11 - My ex-FWB needs to GO AWAY! >_<


 
How old are you? You sound young. You'll learn as you get older. Rather than experiencing these things on your own, you should turn on the TV and learn from other people's mistakes. This is going to sound harsh, but you're not special. Meaning that you're not exempt from the rules. Every guy wants to have sex with you and if you give them the opportunity, they will take it.

Set some boundaries for yourself. The world loves people like you because you're essentially giving things away for free. "Hi, we just met, but can you do my homework for me?" There are terrible people out there who search out "nice" people like you. Take pride in yourself and share yourself only with people who deserve you.


----------



## Female INFJ

I'm human..........I have average intelligence, average appearance. I don't care to change myself to suit a man. They aren't interested in me. I have just learned to accept this. And now that I'm free. I feel better  

I find men have these ideals that they chase. And I don't fit into that. I've been told that guys like me, they don't initiate. I don't care to initiate anymore. Why have the headache of a relationship. When I can be by myself, and not have to answer to anyone. 

Most of the guys I like are too good for me anyhow. Why would they pick me, when there is likely a dozen more attractive versions of me? The whole process of finding someone doesn't appeal to me anymore. Thus I remain single, likely forever! And I don't care anymore. 

It is basic SATC -- if you read the ACTUAL BOOK. Most men kind of use average woman along the way, until they find 'the one'. Except they have this trick, they don't tell you that you aren't 'the one' while they are doing this. They just keep up their roaming eyes. 

So do I settle for always being second? Or do I kind of just stop the situation before it starts. Now getting older, they say men are different. But to be honest, it just feels like a slew of men that are ready to 'settle' as they women they had wanted, went away somewhere. Yay! to be a 'settle' [sarcasm]. It's what I've always wanted.

I just felt like writing to finally be free of this: 'looking for love'. And focus on being happy on my own. I am grateful that I have this choice. In many countries, women have to get married, and don't have this choice to be independent.

I just engage in romantic affairs to spice up my otherwise boring world. But I let them pass, because I know it is not real. No one is real anymore.

I will write later in response to #1-20. Thanks KrystRay for bringing back this Thread. This is actually a topic I feel like talking about.......I just didn't get around to posting. Your advice to ForsakenMe was nice. Good to see girls supporting each other and bringing each other up. 

I would never discourage another on love, as I am discouraged. I keep my feelings to myself. I just felt like sharing where I am at right now. I wish good luck to any girl who 'does not' want to be single. And certainly, I talk to lots of guys and girls about relationships, so many would not assume my own life is so dismal! tee hee

Because the pressures around to 'not be' this single are up high. Often girls sell themselves short, to meet that end of 'having someone'. Just be in relationships for the right reasons, is what I mean, girls.


----------



## KrystRay

I kind of feel like that too. I mean, I know that I'm pretty, but I'm not ready to settle for anyone. I keep my life spiced up with the affluent men (just in case pregnancy should arise), but I have no interest in being in a relationship. I am kind of torn because I love traditions, but they're starting to look like fairy tales. I'd love to be the stay at home mother and wife, but I've turned into a cynic after being hit on men married to these women. It makes me rethink my faith in the institution of marriage. I'm not nearly submissive or naive enough to be desirable to men who want to get married. I see SO many young girls getting married and these seem to be the two traits they all seem to have. These girls aren't prettier or smarter than me, just more naive and don't speak their minds (or don't have opinions). Whatever the case, I'm happy for now.


----------



## ForsakenMe

KrystRay said:


> How old are you? You sound young. You'll learn as you get older. Rather than experiencing these things on your own, you should turn on the TV and learn from other people's mistakes. This is going to sound harsh, but you're not special. Meaning that you're not exempt from the rules. Every guy wants to have sex with you and if you give them the opportunity, they will take it.
> 
> Set some boundaries for yourself. The world loves people like you because you're essentially giving things away for free. "Hi, we just met, but can you do my homework for me?" There are terrible people out there who search out "nice" people like you. Take pride in yourself and share yourself only with people who deserve you.


I'm 19.

You're so very right, I need some tough love like this to get out of my imaginary island and be realistic with myself... But I'm slowly learning. Thank you.


----------



## Filo

> I kind of feel like that too. I mean, I know that I'm pretty, but I'm not ready to settle for anyone. I keep my life spiced up with the affluent men (just in case pregnancy should arise), but I have no interest in being in a relationship. I am kind of torn because I love traditions, but they're starting to look like fairy tales. I'd love to be the stay at home mother and wife, but I've turned into a cynic after being hit on men married to these women. It makes me rethink my faith in the institution of marriage. I'm not nearly submissive or naive enough to be desirable to men who want to get married. I see SO many young girls getting married and these seem to be the two traits they all seem to have. These girls aren't prettier or smarter than me, just more naive and don't speak their minds (or don't have opinions). Whatever the case, I'm happy for now.


How does this "affluent men" thing go? I mean, I can't complain financially, but I haven't been able to leverage it. At what point can you leverage it, anyway? Are we talking 7 figure incomes or does less also cut it?


----------



## KrystRay

lol. They are attracted to me. I don't know why. It must be my mother. I talk to everyone (just being friendly) and I hang out at nice places. It probably doesn't hurt that I live in Palm Beach, Florida. I'm a massage therapist, so I hang out at golf clubs and go for drinks at the Breakers and such. It probably doesn't hurt that I have a superiority complex. Where do you live?


----------



## Promethea

There are still guys out there who would fall for a woman with any of these qualities. I think that someone would have to be really weak of character to change any of these just to impress some generic asshole - and then thats the problem. Be exactly who you want to be and find someone who appreciates you the way you are. Simple. I'd say the same for the thread on 'why you guys are still single.' Theres no universal set of standards that everyone goes by in choosing a mate, so its best to be true to who you are and find one who likes you for that.. or its kinda all a lie anyway, and like that will really have any long-term potential? Ugh.



KrystRay said:


> I have a superiority complex.


What do you think you are superior to?


----------



## timeless

Promethea said:


> I think that someone would have to be really weak of character to change any of these just to impress some generic asshole - and then thats the problem.


You're 100% right; building a strong, cohesive character is difficult and many people want to "fake it until they make it." It reminds me of cargo cults, where tribal people build balsa wood airports in order to attract real airplanes and get the goods they think they deserve. It's putting the cart before the horse; they go into a relationship hoping that it will define them, rather than defining themselves first and seeing a relationship as a way to grow further. It's the result of an image-based culture, where success is very results-based. It doesn't matter so much how they get the money, it only matters that they have the money. Similarly, it doesn't matter how genuine the relationship is, it just matters that the relationship exists. It's a dangerous philosophy in my opinion, and it's actually very dehumanizing. It makes people merely the sum of their manifestations in the physical world.


----------



## KrystRay

Promethea said:


> What do you think you are superior to?


Idiots (the majority of the population).


----------



## Filo

> Where do you live?


 Amsterdam.


----------



## MinaRidge

I'm still single because there are too many willing men in the world to just choose one.


----------



## Filo

> I'm still single because there are too many willing men in the world to just choose one.


Wait until you are well past 30.


----------



## Female INFJ

*Possible Expiry date*



MinaRidge said:


> I'm still single because there are too many willing men in the world to just choose one.





Filo said:


> Wait until you are well past 30.


Filo,

I am not certain in what context and way you are responding to MinaRidge's post. However I will share a story. My girl friend for over 15 years was awkward growing up, then all of a sudden she grew into her image and body, and was hot for many years. Like hot, attract leagues of men, hot. Sadly, her self-esteem wasn't the greatest, I was surprised to find that out. 

Anyhow, now we are 31. She is still quite attractive (to me) and other women, however, she and I noticed this phenomena. As soon as she reached 26 / 27 men stopped looking, the stopped coming up to her. It is like they had a timer or something. Now she obsesses over anti-aging cosmetics, and sleeps around more, trying to get attention. 

She is now considered, by men, probably over the hill. The attention that was once there, of the marrying kind of men, is now gone. Men our age, want 21-27. 28-35 if a lady is exceptionally accomplished or beautiful, I am sure that extends their expiry date. I'm not saying this applies to everyone. But this is my state here, in this City I live in. 

Now she gets attention from guys at 23. But honestly, they are headache also. They are not ready to settle and get married, they want to have 'the older woman', and not commit, most of them. Well it happened to her, she tried to hold onto her two younger men, but they both left her. That was the first time I saw a man leave her. I knew something was up then. So we tried to brainstorm. I'm no pretty girl, but I do still look about 23-25. This likely works in my advantage, should I be looking, but I'm not.



ForsakenMe said:


> I'm 19.
> 
> You're so very right, I need some tough love like this to get out of my imaginary island and be realistic with myself... But I'm slowly learning. Thank you.


ForsakenMe,

YOU ARE GORGEOUS. I thought this from seeing your prior Avatar, of the hair. And reading your posts. I imagine that is you in your new Avatar? Get some good girl friends to lean on, or speak to family and stuff. Don't let guys get you down. Be strong within yourself, you can likely do so much better than those other guys you were talking about. Of course if a guy sees a girl like you, they'll want to sleep with you...I wouldn't say it is necessarily you always moving quickly as you described.

You have no need to rush into anything (I think in your previous message you felt you were rushing into situations and relationships), enjoy every moment while you are young  I'm sure lots of old people say that to you. I'll just thought to add it in. You may not be single for long, you have choice, likely.


----------



## ForsakenMe

Female INFJ said:


> ForsakenMe,
> 
> YOU ARE GORGEOUS. I thought this from seeing your prior Avatar, of the hair. And reading your posts. I imagine that is you in your new Avatar?  Get some good girl friends to lean on, or speak to family and stuff. Don't let guys get you down. Be strong within yourself, you can likely do so much better than those other guys you were talking about. Of course if a guy sees a girl like you, they'll want to sleep with you...I wouldn't say it is necessarily you always moving quickly as you described.
> 
> You have no need to rush into anything (I think in your previous message you felt you were rushing into situations and relationships), enjoy every moment while you are young  I'm sure lots of old people say that to you. I'll just thought to add it in. You may not be single for long, you have choice, likely.


Hahaha, the girl in the avatar isn't me, she's a singer.  I have a profile picture of me, though it doesn't show my entire face, but I guess I am "pretty" by society's standards. Whatever. 

Thank you for the sound advice... I need to take my sweet time and learn to be careful on who to crush on. ^^


----------



## lizziebaby420

im not 19,18,17 or 13.... the others describe me:/ damn.


----------



## 3053

ForsakenMe said:


> I read the "20 Reasons Why You're Still Single Men" thread, and had an idea that it's time to create a list for us ladies and for the confused, single ladies out there wondering just what the heck they're doing wrong that's driving literally all the men in their lives away.
> 
> Let's start.
> 
> *Reason 1: You're Too "Fun".*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Everybody likes a funny lady... However, there is such thing as being too funny. If you don't take life or yourself seriously at all, how will you expect for men to take YOU seriously at all? You can crack jocks from time to time, but when the situation calls for being serious, lay away the Dane Cook jokes for a while._
> 
> *Reason 2: You're A Party Girl.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _If your life only consists of partying hard every night and sleeping in during the day, no doubt that guys would steer clear of having any serious commitments with you. Being the obnoxious drunk girl would only get you in bed and the guy "mysteriously" disappearing when morning arrives._
> 
> 
> *Reason 7: You're Mentally Unstable.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Whether you're just mildly depressed, or severely schizophrenic with a sociopathic personality... Your mental illness will frustrate and may even scare men away, even if they do love you to bits. Solution? Go get professional help before you can even THINK about dating again. You deserve to be happy and healthy... And your relationships will turn COMPLETELY better for everyone involved._
> 
> 
> *Reason 9: You're Too Fast To Get Into Bed With.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Ain't nothing wrong with being proud of your body and sexuality... However, it is been said for so long that in the dating world, getting in bed with a man before the 3rd date and beyond will strip away all the mystery, and the guy losing interest. It sucks, but learn to be a little patient, and focus on your guy instead of his schling-schlong; THAT comes later, and the anticipation will be worth it in the end, promise!_
> 
> 
> *Reason 12: You Are Self-Destructive.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Whether you abuse drugs, alcohol, participate in self-injury or otherwise... You have to realize that men don't find this behavior attractive, and you also have to realize that men cannot save you, only YOU can. You don't need men right now... You need to check in a rehab facility or a therapist who can help you._
> 
> 
> *Reason 15: You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Your man has a life, and you need to focus on yours! Get some new friends, get a job, or pursue some interesting hobbies. In the same token, remember to spend some time with your significant other; Your friends/job/hobbies/etc can't take up ALL of your time, unless you enjoy being a busy, SINGLE lady!_
> 
> *Reason 18: You're Too Shy.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Men aren't always the initiator to everything, so sometimes, you're going to have to buck up and ask him out first! Confidence is sexy, and men will appreciate you making the first move; It's a breath of fresh air!_


Oh hello me!


----------



## SeekJess

Well none of those really describe me, except I kind of have the personality of a man.


----------



## sharoni21

mmmm... I'm single because I'm disappointed in men. 
and because I make a sucky first impression (bitchy, rude, inconsiderate, ghetto lol)
But mostly I'm single because I have yet to meet someone I WANT to be with 
and I hate wasting my time.


----------



## ShadowPlay

*WTF!, Seriously girls!!!!!!*


I clicked on this thread because I thought it was a joke!!!!!!!!
I simply _cannot_ believe the responses to this thread!!!

*It's the biggest load of demanding, invalidating BS I have ever heard!!!*

20! Someone, has sat down, thought about their own insecurities and dreamed up 20 things in hope that you'll notice at least one of them and believe that there is something inherently _wrong_ with you.

*NEWS FLASH girls, and guys for that matter: There's NOTHING wrong with you!!!*

You are whoever you will be. 

If you want to go out partying, go out partying!
If you prefer to jump into bed early or happen to like sex, guess what, he did too.
Too picky, umm, what is that? Either someone meets your standards and values or they don't. Using the example of "doesn't have as much money as God" is pathetic. I don't think anyone would pass on a good person who meets their needs, just because they're not rich, or have the chiseled features of a demi-God. I could pick apart ALL of these 'diagnoses'. We should start it now!

What are you going to do?
Date some one you are not physically attracted to?
Date cheap tightass loser who is too immature to manage/make money?
I've done both listening to this kind of 'advice' when I was younger. And what a disaster that was!

The biggest tip I can give you is:

Banish '_Too_' from your receiving vocabulary!!!

You're not '_too_' anything. 

It's invalidating to be told you're '_too_' something.

It's a form of Emotional Abuse.


----------



## Female INFJ

*#21 - Personality of Man*



SeekJess said:


> Well none of those really describe me, except I kind of have the personality of a man.


SeekJess,

I thought you had a nice boyfriend? I guess something changed? I hope all is well otherwise. Well my sister (ISTJ) has told me about this same problem she has. She hangs with guys, and attracts quite a few of them, and is intelligent etc. But explained to me that guys don't marry girls who are like her, basically like a man personality, she's strong and aggressive. I'm just kidding, I've added your idea as a #21. Men want a 'strong' woman, but can they handle it really? (Not saying 'all' men here) I just want to explore this idea.

I believe she can find the right one...but the more I listen to her, the more I see something to this. She wasted time with her last boyfriend of a decade, who promised to marry her, but then never came up with a proposal or a ring. Let us know more about why this causes problems in finding a relationship (this personality of a man thing), if you like. I don't know much about this, except from through my sister. It is interesting. If you are looking, of course I wish you luck. I think you are attractive, I hope the right person comes along.

Another time I came across this interesting issue, was when watching Millionaire Matchmaker, the matchmaker was making comments about her clients not looking for a woman with a 'man like' personality, but someone who would compliment them. Many men on that show were pretty set in their ways though. I watched the episode when the men of 50 were looking for ladies in their 20s, I guess they have the money, so they can do whatever. I'm not saying I support any of the ideas on the show, I sometimes turn on the tv and see stuff. I'm not a regular tv watcher.



ShadowPlay said:


> ...The biggest tip I can give you is:
> 
> Banish '_Too_' from your receiving vocabulary!!!
> 
> You're not '_too_' anything.
> 
> It's invalidating to be told you're '_too_' something.
> 
> It's a form of Emotional Abuse.
> [/FONT]


ShadowPlay,

Beautiful message. However, clearly a lot of these issues are a reality for many ladies. Generally, men like who they like, I have found. They have lots of compliments for whom they are attracted to (even if they have some or all of these traits), and have a skill at pointing out flaws in girls they aren't attracted to. I think all persons have some of these traits. Hmmm. I like your message...but the more of a think about this, it is a lost cause even spending time in here! I don't really want to change myself, just to find someone. I would rather change more for me, if I have to.


----------



## ShadowPlay

For clarity's sake.
When you say 'change' yourself,
Do you mean 'change' who you are, or figure out who you are?

One is growth, the other is change.


----------



## ForsakenMe

ShadowPlay said:


> I clicked on this thread because I thought it was a joke!!!!!!!!
> I simply _cannot_ believe the responses to this thread!!!
> 
> *It's the biggest load of demanding, invalidating BS I have ever heard!!!*
> 
> 20! Someone, has sat down, thought about their own insecurities and dreamed up 20 things in hope that you'll notice at least one of them and believe that there is something inherently _wrong_ with you.
> 
> *NEWS FLASH girls, and guys for that matter: There's NOTHING wrong with you!!!*
> 
> You are whoever you will be.
> 
> If you want to go out partying, go out partying!
> If you prefer to jump into bed early or happen to like sex, guess what, he did too.
> Too picky, umm, what is that? Either someone meets your standards and values or they don't. Using the example of "doesn't have as much money as God" is pathetic. I don't think anyone would pass on a good person who meets their needs, just because they're not rich, or have the chiseled features of a demi-God. I could pick apart ALL of these 'diagnoses'. We should start it now!
> 
> What are you going to do?
> Date some one you are not physically attracted to?
> Date cheap tightass loser who is too immature to manage/make money?
> I've done both listening to this kind of 'advice' when I was younger. And what a disaster that was!
> 
> The biggest tip I can give you is:
> 
> Banish '_Too_' from your receiving vocabulary!!!
> 
> You're not '_too_' anything.
> 
> It's invalidating to be told you're '_too_' something.
> 
> It's a form of Emotional Abuse.













You know what, I'm probably am getting trolled here, but in case I'm not, I'll bite:

I did not sit down and "dreamed up" 20 of my insecurities. Is that your own projection?

I never wrote that OMG LOL SOMETHING IS VERY VERY WRONG WITH YOU AND HERES WHY!!111!!11one! I simply made several reasons why a woman could still be single or getting dumped a lot.

There is nothing wrong with partying... However, since you didn't took the time to read before you blew your top, you didn't read where I wrote, "If all you ever do is party every night and sleeping in during the day..." Now tell me, how is THAT attractive? Nevermind that, how is that even HEALTHY? Partying every once in a while is fine, but there comes a point where it shouldn't be crossed. People die from overdosing alcohol and drugs during a party; Women get raped in parties.

In a perfect world, we wouldn't worry when is a good time to sleep with someone. However, judgement exists and streotypes exists; You sleep with someone too soon, and people will _assume_ that you're just a friends-with-benefits material, and not to mention, there might be guys out there who may feel that if this is all you want from them, then what better way to show them than screwing on the first date?

LOL now I must be getting trolled... When I wrote about the "too picky" part, I meant there are some women out there who just plain REFUSE to date a guy unless he's perfect looking and has more money than God. I'm sure this rule doesn't apply to you, so I don't know why you're so mad.

*Date some one you are not physically attracted to?* Who said that?
*Date cheap tightass loser who is too immature to manage/make money?* So you date men because they make a lot of money and that's it?
*I've done both listening to this kind of 'advice' when I was younger. And what a disaster that was!* Maybe you thought you did listen but you didn't?

If this whole thing is emotional abuse to you, then I cannot imagine how you'd be like if you're dating some guy who actually DOES emotionally abuse you. Please, I'm sorry I was a bit rough in this post, but your rant deserved it.

Not everyone shares your views. If you don't like what you see, move to the next thread. Peace.


----------



## ShadowPlay

Well, what can I say?
Why am I 'mad' at your post?
I thought it was funny when I read it. The pictures are well matched and dramatic and you obviously put a lot of effort into compiling your list. I might even steal it to show some friends who will think it is as equally as hilarious as I do.

I got mad when people started responding to it seriously. 
It demonstrates how expectations in society play (or prey) upon the insecurities of people who are sincerely trying to become the best they can be. 

If I see this kind of projection I do not move on!

I will say something, rather than just stand aside and watch people being told 'why' they don't deserve love.

Your biased approach to my examples only further demonstrates your apparent inability to consider feedback in a critical manner, and I won't enable your trolling by honouring your deliberate misunderstandings with a detailed response.

Not everyone agrees with your opinions. Deal with that.


----------



## ForsakenMe

ShadowPlay said:


> Well, what can I say?
> Why am I 'mad' at your post?
> I thought it was funny when I read it. The pictures are well matched and dramatic and you obviously put a lot of effort into compiling your list. I might even steal it to show some friends who will think it is as equally as hilarious as I do.
> 
> I got mad when people started responding to it seriously.
> It demonstrates how expectations in society play (or prey) upon the insecurities of people who are sincerely trying to become the best they can be.
> 
> If I see this kind of projection I do not move on!
> 
> I will say something, rather than just stand aside and watch people being told 'why' they don't deserve love.
> 
> Your biased approach to my examples only further demonstrates your apparent inability to consider feedback in a critical manner, and I won't enable your trolling by honouring your deliberate misunderstandings with a detailed response.
> 
> Not everyone agrees with your opinions. Deal with that.


Again, how am I trying to make people feel insecure? How is my list so bad to you? It would be offensive and insane if I wrote down things like, "You're too tall." or "Your sense of style is too weird." then yes, I could see why people would feel insecure... But all I'm pointing out are the actual behaviors that I've seen out there (People who party too much to the point where they get hooked on it, or people who sleep around with a lot of people and wonder why they're still single, etc.) and me making suggestions on what they can do to work it out before dating people again for better successes.

I have never even thought about making this thread to tell people why they don't deserve love. I feel incredibly strange that you would even suggest that. Honestly, I am putting down "tough love" on the readers and telling them the truth rather than crying and gushing that they should continue to do drugs or sleep around because Prince Charming would accept you anyway. Sorry, that's not how the real world works.

I can accept criticism but you were basically attacking me personally (With the whole "SOMEONE SAT DOWN AND DREAMED UP THEIR INSECURITIES!" thing, no way Jose.) and that doesn't fly with me.


----------



## Rohbiwan

Forsaken, your problem is clear - you don't realize that your rights stop where other people's feelings begin. Now sit patiently and do what you are told while you wait for "feelings police".


----------



## bionic

I'm still single because I choose to be.


----------



## Aerorobyn

I'm single because I haven't found anybody who really tickles my fancy! And, I have nothing in my heart to give... or I haven't found anybody worth giving my heart to. It would be unwise of me to jump into something with a person I knew I couldn't fully give my heart to. 

Actually, I've gone to dinner with a guy from work a few times over the past couple of weeks... and we've talked on the job... and he asked me, "how is it that a girl like you doesn't have guys crawling at your feet?" I couldn't answer. I do have guys that are interested in me, but I'm not interested in them. Then this same guy pointed out that I may very well intimidate men, because I don't give in to shit easily. I'm independent and do my own thing, and apparently I don't come across as the type who "needs" someone in her life. 

You know what this is leading to? Me developing feelings for this coworker of mine - the one who said all of that to me. You know what the problem is there? 1) He's in a relationship. 2) He's taking off for South Caroline (Army National Guard) bootcamp in January. So another problem of mine is, when I do find people who tickle my fancy, well... Always want what ya can't have! :wink:


----------



## wonderfert

I'm single because, not being straight, I don't reciprocate any of the interest that I receive from men. And as women are not interested in me, it takes the worrisome not being single process out of being single.


----------



## Codger

wonderfert said:


> I'm single because, not being straight, I don't reciprocate any of the interest that I receive from men. And as women are not interested in me, it takes the worrisome not being single process out of being single.


Funny you mention the attention from men because I have a habit of becoming seriously attracted to women I'm close friends with. With me being rather blunt I often end up making friends with women that are more likely to be like one of the guys, and as such I end up getting the horn for a lot of lesbian chicks.


----------



## wonderfert

Codger said:


> Funny you mention the attention from men because I have a habit of becoming seriously attracted to women I'm close friends with. With me being rather blunt I often end up making friends with women that are more likely to be like one of the guys, and as such I end up getting the horn for a lot of lesbian chicks.


You just described many of my male friends.


----------



## Codger

wonderfert said:


> You just described many of my male friends.


It's complimentary, at least.


----------



## Mutatio NOmenis

To a lot of you here, maybe it's because you have standards that are literally too high. Or maybe you simply won't expand your candidate pools?

Short Women to be Fined for Dating Tall Men…. — The Amazona Blog

Amazing how stupid some women can be, eh?


----------



## ForsakenMe

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> To a lot of you here, maybe it's because you have standards that are literally too high. Or maybe you simply won't expand your candidate pools?
> 
> Short Women to be Fined for Dating Tall Men…. — The Amazona Blog
> 
> Amazing how stupid some women can be, eh?



Eww, that woman sounds obsessive and possessive! Who the hell she thinks she is "owning" tall men? I'm 5'4 tall and while I'm not very short, I don't go out of my way to be with JUST tall guys... My last ex was 6'0 and even that's a bit too tall for my tastes! I don't have any stupid "complexes" and she should get over herself. Some, if not most, men like girls shorter than them. Big deal.

There are lots of tall guys who only prefer tall women. I wonder why the author doesn't notice this yet notices tall guys/short ladies couples? I mean, why can't she just find a tall guy who likes tall girls? Does she reject their offers or what? 

Some people just want EVERYTHING! :dry:


----------



## Mutatio NOmenis

ForsakenMe said:


> Eww, that woman sounds obsessive and possessive! Who the hell she thinks she is "owning" tall men? I'm 5'4 tall and while I'm not very short, I don't go out of my way to be with JUST tall guys... My last ex was 6'0 and even that's a bit too tall for my tastes! I don't have any stupid "complexes" and she should get over herself. Some, if not most, men like girls shorter than them. Big deal.
> 
> There are lots of tall guys who only prefer tall women. I wonder why the author doesn't notice this yet notices tall guys/short ladies couples? I mean, why can't she just find a tall guy who likes tall girls? Does she reject their offers or what?
> 
> Some people just want EVERYTHING! :dry:


Exactly, she could find a willing tall man, or find herself a willing short man; we're not scarce. $5 She becomes a Bridezilla.


----------



## FrogFace

Ultimate reason, all other reasons aside: I haz trust issues.


----------



## Digger Blue

*A mans perspective*



Female INFJ said:


> Filo,
> 
> I am not certain in what context and way you are responding to MinaRidge's post. However I will share a story. My girl friend for over 15 years was awkward growing up, then all of a sudden she grew into her image and body, and was hot for many years. Like hot, attract leagues of men, hot. Sadly, her self-esteem wasn't the greatest, I was surprised to find that out.
> 
> Anyhow, now we are 31. She is still quite attractive (to me) and other women, however, she and I noticed this phenomena. As soon as she reached 26 / 27 men stopped looking, the stopped coming up to her. It is like they had a timer or something. Now she obsesses over anti-aging cosmetics, and sleeps around more, trying to get attention.
> 
> She is now considered, by men, probably over the hill. The attention that was once there, of the marrying kind of men, is now gone. Men our age, want 21-27. 28-35 if a lady is exceptionally accomplished or beautiful, I am sure that extends their expiry date. I'm not saying this applies to everyone. But this is my state here, in this City I live in.
> 
> Now she gets attention from guys at 23. But honestly, they are headache also. They are not ready to settle and get married, they want to have 'the older woman', and not commit, most of them. Well it happened to her, she tried to hold onto her two younger men, but they both left her. That was the first time I saw a man leave her. I knew something was up then. So we tried to brainstorm. I'm no pretty girl, but I do still look about 23-25. This likely works in my advantage, should I be looking, but I'm not.
> 
> 
> 
> ForsakenMe,
> 
> YOU ARE GORGEOUS. I thought this from seeing your prior Avatar, of the hair. And reading your posts. I imagine that is you in your new Avatar? Get some good girl friends to lean on, or speak to family and stuff. Don't let guys get you down. Be strong within yourself, you can likely do so much better than those other guys you were talking about. Of course if a guy sees a girl like you, they'll want to sleep with you...I wouldn't say it is necessarily you always moving quickly as you described.
> 
> You have no need to rush into anything (I think in your previous message you felt you were rushing into situations and relationships), enjoy every moment while you are young  I'm sure lots of old people say that to you. I'll just thought to add it in. You may not be single for long, you have choice, likely.



Ladies:
I found dating very difficult, but I laid down some ground rules. I figured if I found a girl in a bar, she'd know how to drink. If I found a girl in a church, she'd know how to pray. I also did not want a loud and obnoxious girl. Now I did sort of put together my specification sheet, but those were important items. How did it play out?

I was dragged the length of the church by an old lady who wanted to introduce me to a nice girl. (I'd had incredible luck with that technique before!!!!). We dated off and on for many years, then tied the knot. She does drink, but in moderation. I do not drink (due to medications), so the combination has been a good message for my daughter: be careful of alcohol, it can be very destructive! My wife is very quiet, extremely Introverted, which is a difficulty with my moderately strong E. We live with that. I chat here, and have other social outlets, so that is good enough. Clinker: I was losing every decision that we made together. I told her about this several times to no avail, so eventually I told her we were going to family therapy. 
She said, "Are you asking me?" 
"No." Extreme pause for mental processing.
We got to counseling, spent a lot of time and good money there. We got to the decision making part, and after a good bit of discussion she asked me, "Why didn't you say something?"
"I did."
Sometimes people just don't hear what they don't want to hear. Sometimes people just don't communicate to one another for whatever reasons. 
There are many ways in which my wife could have been a hotter property. I have learned what I can and cannot expect her to do or be. I love her, admire her, and respect her. 

Recommendations: 
Pick the appropriate pool to fish in. Look hard at your values, because the stakes are high. Probably, if you want to catch the man with the best character is to volunteer in the canteen for people who have just donated by Apheresis. It takes a long time to donate, and they don't get paid for it. 
Oh, if you want a guy with a lot of money, go after an ENTJ in industry. You'll have plenty of money, but his mind will be always at work, and he will likely be very controlling, ruling you just as he rules his people at work. You deserve better.
If you like to flirt, flirt with your man. After you get married, keep flirting with him. Go to some party and make eye contact with him. Smile a really sexy smile, like your lips, and wiggle one eyebrow twice. The message is, "Fuck me now!" Neither of you have to act on it, but it is delightfully fun to receive such a message from the one you love. You can initiate with your husband. Remember, there is nothing better than to have a husband who is your lover. If you are alone in an elevator, grab the head of his dick for a quick thrill. You then turn and stand perfectly poised before the door opens. 
Best wishes,
Digger


----------



## Digger Blue

*Dumb Blondes*



SuPERNaUT said:


> Forward: I CHOSE to be single, mostly because of shit like this.
> 
> 
> *Reason 20: You Pretend To Be Dumb.*
> _Being the dumb blonde chick might be seemingly endearing... For a short while!_
> Maybe if we DIDN'T get the message that the dumb blonde gets all the guys, those who do wouldn't feel like they had to.
> 
> [/RANT]



I will just add this little note. I like Red Heads with Freckles. To me, a woman with such a gift is really hot property. I am not shopping for one, but I thought I'd just toss that one in. On the other hand, color of hair is nowhere near the critical value I was seeking when I was out looking for my wife. I found her 8) and if I bring home a really hot red head she would be very, very upset with me. 
Digger Blue


----------



## Sina

There's nothing wrong with being "too fun". If I were a lesbian/hetero male, I would date a stand-up comedienne any day if she were "too fun" off the stage as well. I am assuming you mean too funny/ and possibly playful. If a woman is mature, there's nothing wrong with being 'too fun'.

I think it's about taking things to extremes that's problematic as others have suggested.

It's alright to party in moderation such that it doesn't affect your professional/academic and personal life negatively. 

The thing about pickiness is that some women have unreasonable expectations of their partners and end up disappointing themselves in the process. A woman has every right to demand a strong, ambitious (not a euphemism for filthy rich), respectful man. I only mentioned a few qualities. But, raising the bar sky-high and rejecting potential partners for superficial reasons like imperfect physical appearance is pointless. A strong and capable woman should seek a similar partner. However, when a woman's "picky attitude means she is seeking a sugar daddy with the physique of a Greek God or whatever then that's clearly a problem. On other end of the spectrum, there are ladies who end up with men who don't deserve a millisecond of their time, and they NEED to be pickier. 


The description beneath the self-destructive behaviour portion is insensitive in a way. I don't think it should be phrased in relation to reduced attractiveness to men. It's clear no one can rescue such a person, and they need professional help. The woman's well-being is more important than her level of attractiveness to men. This may well have fallen under the mental health fold. Most severely self-destructive individuals are depressed or have have another mental illness.


Why should a woman remain single because she has a psycho ex? How is that her fault? 
I would never refuse to date a man with a psycho ex, if he knew how to deal with her and kept her at a distance safe for the relationship and himself. It can be stressful, at times, but it's not worth it to lose a wonderful partner over this.


Why is it so terrible for a woman to develop sexual relations by the third date? She has every reason to decide when she wishes to have sex, and if she is comfortable with herself and her decision then there's no reason why a man/woman should look down on her. The partner wants it too? The lady wasn't having sex by herself. The double-standards are offensive. As for the rules of the "dating world", fuck them. Most of them are outdated anyway.


----------



## Digger Blue

*Single vs Paired*



gypaetus said:


> How about, "I love being single because the b.s. of a partner underfoot is not worth it"?


Well, sooner or later single might get a bit old. There is a lot to be said, not only about getting a date, but having a relationship with a person and getting to know them over the years. Things you get to know about your partner are one category. Things you get to know not to expect from your partner are another. 
My friend stated it elegantly once, "same shit, different dog". Well, being in a long term relationship, you learn how to ask for what you need, and sometimes you have to learn what not to expect your partner to provide. Some things just aren't in the bag. Doesn't mean you have a less than fulfilling marriage, however. Just means it's not what you expected or planned. I recommend a year of serious dating before you tie the knot. Fewer surprises that way.

Digger blue


----------



## kiwigrl

Digger Blue said:


> If you like to flirt, flirt with your man. After you get married, keep flirting with him. Go to some party and make eye contact with him. Smile a really sexy smile, like your lips, and wiggle one eyebrow twice. The message is, "Fuck me now!" Neither of you have to act on it, but it is delightfully fun to receive such a message from the one you love. You can initiate with your husband. Remember, there is nothing better than to have a husband who is your lover. If you are alone in an elevator, grab the head of his dick for a quick thrill. You then turn and stand perfectly poised before the door opens.
> Best wishes,
> Digger


LMAO!!!! Ok the elevator thing I haven't tried but I love the way you think! I have however made him get a hard on at an inconvenient time just to make him worry that other people will notice and make me laugh. That is just how I like to behave with my husband. It helps that he is irresistable to me. I'm not actually a big flirt but he brings it out in me. 

You sound like a really cheeky ESFP like my good ESFP friend. You guys are the best to party with and just joke with. I miss her now that she is working so much, we have the same dirty sense of humour and used to have some very interesting talks about our sex lives, which I can't do with my more conservative friends.


----------



## Digger Blue

You know, if you do not look out for the needs of your mate, you might find yourself mateless, which may or may not be what you want (My wife said she'd leave me if I ever bought a motorcycle: It's going to be blue with flames!).

This is a place where I can come and chat and get my kicks. Like hearing about things other people do, etc. 

I think it would be fun to be married to a partner who would enjoy flirting, and teasing, and maybe being pursued as in a steeplechase only to eventually submit if being captured. Wouldn't that be awesome?


----------



## SassyPJs24

Well, I'm single... so let's give this a shot.
*

Reason 1: You're Too "Fun".*








Hmmm... This could be an actual issue for me.
I tend to cover up hurt feelings or dissolve tense situations with humor. 
But I guess the other option is coming across as a sourpuss.
What's the balance? 

*Reason 2: You're A Party Girl.*

Nah. But I'm in college, so it happens. Although when I go out with a guy and mention being drunk the other night and he immediately starts quizzing me about my habits... "So... exactly how often do you get drunk?" I am turned off.

*Reason 3: Your Friends Are Complete Bitches.*

No...my friends are the sweetest people you'll ever meet 

*Reason 4: You're Too Picky.*

Probably not picky enough.


*Reason 5: You Have A Bad Attitude.*

_Overly-complaint, demanding, controlling, always putting everyone down, insecure with self, can never take a joke, has the tendency to scowl and sneer at everyone... Rings a bell?_

^Remind me to steer clear of that person. Yikes.

*Reason 6: You're Still In Love With Your Ex.*

Nah... However I have stored the hurt feelings from past relationships a little too close to me. Not in love, just unwilling to forget maybe.

*Reason 7: You're Mentally Unstable.*

Debatable. Mildly depressed perhaps, but it's mainly circumstantial. 

*Reason 8: You're Too Flirty.*

I've been told I'm pretty flirty. When I've been drinking especially. But that's when I'm single, so....I've never actually had this be a problem. 
Jury's still out on whether guys in a relationship actually like a little flirting with other guys (as long as it's not taken too far)....

*Reason 9: You're Too Fast To Get Into Bed With.*

This is sexist. 

However, I agree that taking this out of the equation of the chase too early = failure. Tried and tested. 


*Reason 10: You're Too Nice.*

Working on being an aloof and insensitive beeotch.


*Reason 11: You Have A Jealous Ex-Lover.*

Nope.


*Reason 12: You Are Self-Destructive.*

Yes. Not currently, but I am prone to this. Not in obvious, life-threatening ways, but I did have an eating disorder in high school, and I know my boyfriend at the time had trouble handling that. This behavior is easily hidden in a relationship. 

*Reason 13: You're Too... Male.*

Definitely not.

*Reason 14: You're High-Maintenance.*

Nope. I always offer to go half-and-half, even on the first date. But then I judge if he takes me up on it initially. :frustrating:

*Reason 15: You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.*

This is probably the hardest one for me to come to terms with. I'm paranoid of being clingy so I swing the opposite direction. But then I seem too distant. 
I spend so much time trying to find a balance and analyze if everything I'm doing is clingy.... It's exhausting!

*Reason 16: You Nag Too Much.*

Nah.

*Reason 17: You're Abusive.*

HAHA.

*Reason 18: You're Too Shy.*

Nah... but personally I think that's B.S. about men appreciating the first move. It's never gonna LAST that way.

*Reason 19: You're A Slob.*

Haha... aww. I feel bad for the girls being described.

*Reason 20: You Pretend To Be Dumb.*

I hate when people do this. I wish being smart was a turn-on for more guys though.


I'll also add 

*Reason 21: You Have Big Boobs.*

This attracts the boys who like to get it on. Which are not the boys who appreciate you feelings.


----------



## Digger Blue

*Quizzing*



SassyPJs24 said:


> Well, I'm single... so let's give this a shot.
> *
> 
> Reason 1: You're Too "Fun".*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Hmmm... This could be an actual issue for me.
> I tend to cover up hurt feelings or dissolve tense situations with humor.
> But I guess the other option is coming across as a sourpuss.
> What's the balance?
> 
> *Reason 2: You're A Party Girl.*
> 
> Nah. But I'm in college, so it happens. Although when I go out with a guy and mention being drunk the other night and he immediately starts quizzing me about my habits... "So... exactly how often do you get drunk?" I am turned off.
> 
> *Reason 3: Your Friends Are Complete Bitches.*
> 
> No...my friends are the sweetest people you'll ever meet
> 
> *Reason 4: You're Too Picky.*
> 
> Probably not picky enough.
> 
> 
> *Reason 5: You Have A Bad Attitude.*
> 
> _Overly-complaint, demanding, controlling, always putting everyone down, insecure with self, can never take a joke, has the tendency to scowl and sneer at everyone... Rings a bell?_
> 
> ^Remind me to steer clear of that person. Yikes.
> 
> *Reason 6: You're Still In Love With Your Ex.*
> 
> Nah... However I have stored the hurt feelings from past relationships a little too close to me. Not in love, just unwilling to forget maybe.
> 
> *Reason 7: You're Mentally Unstable.*
> 
> Debatable. Mildly depressed perhaps, but it's mainly circumstantial.
> 
> *Reason 8: You're Too Flirty.*
> 
> I've been told I'm pretty flirty. When I've been drinking especially. But that's when I'm single, so....I've never actually had this be a problem.
> Jury's still out on whether guys in a relationship actually like a little flirting with other guys (as long as it's not taken too far)....
> 
> *Reason 9: You're Too Fast To Get Into Bed With.*
> 
> This is sexist.
> 
> However, I agree that taking this out of the equation of the chase too early = failure. Tried and tested.
> 
> 
> *Reason 10: You're Too Nice.*
> 
> Working on being an aloof and insensitive beeotch.
> 
> 
> *Reason 11: You Have A Jealous Ex-Lover.*
> 
> Nope.
> 
> 
> *Reason 12: You Are Self-Destructive.*
> 
> Yes. Not currently, but I am prone to this. Not in obvious, life-threatening ways, but I did have an eating disorder in high school, and I know my boyfriend at the time had trouble handling that. This behavior is easily hidden in a relationship.
> 
> *Reason 13: You're Too... Male.*
> 
> Definitely not.
> 
> *Reason 14: You're High-Maintenance.*
> 
> Nope. I always offer to go half-and-half, even on the first date. But then I judge if he takes me up on it initially. :frustrating:
> 
> *Reason 15: You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.*
> 
> This is probably the hardest one for me to come to terms with. I'm paranoid of being clingy so I swing the opposite direction. But then I seem too distant.
> I spend so much time trying to find a balance and analyze if everything I'm doing is clingy.... It's exhausting!
> 
> *Reason 16: You Nag Too Much.*
> 
> Nah.
> 
> *Reason 17: You're Abusive.*
> 
> HAHA.
> 
> *Reason 18: You're Too Shy.*
> 
> Nah... but personally I think that's B.S. about men appreciating the first move. It's never gonna LAST that way.
> 
> *Reason 19: You're A Slob.*
> 
> Haha... aww. I feel bad for the girls being described.
> 
> *Reason 20: You Pretend To Be Dumb.*
> 
> I hate when people do this. I wish being smart was a turn-on for more guys though.
> 
> 
> I'll also add
> 
> *Reason 21: You Have Big Boobs.*
> 
> This attracts the boys who like to get it on. Which are not the boys who appreciate you feelings.



#1 Talk things out. Communications is the basis for good relationships.
#2 Getting Quizzed by a guy about your drinking. This is a really good thing. It means you are being scoped out for wife mate material. You should counter it by asking him about his drinking habits. Do you ever drink alone is a good one. Remember, a guy who drinks at a young age will either quit, acquire moderation, or drink more and more until he is a hellion to live with (controlling, beating, and basically worthless) Alcohol is powerful stuff. What you see now may be totally different than what you'd see after 20 years with him. Same for you. It is a fun, but high risk hobby. Also, drinking in bars is frightfully expensive.
Flirting: if you flirt, continue to flirt with him after marriage. He'll love it. 
Shyness: there are many ways to initiate, and he does not have to initiate all the time. You can drop hints, use your eyes, raise one eyebrow (If you use this, do so in small doses, and take what you get!). This is especially good after making eye contact across the ballroom. 
Good luck,
Digger


----------



## Lizkist

ForsakenMe said:


> *Reason 1: You're Too "Fun".*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *Reason 10: You're Too Nice.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *Reason 11: You Have A Jealous Ex-Lover.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *Reason 13: You're Too... Male.*


(left the pictures in cuz they're pretty)

yeah, those are probably my biggest issues right there.

1. Yeah, I do have a silly switch, and it's naturally on silly. I switch it to serious sometimes, but not often. So I guess it's only fair that people don't percieve me as a person who can ever be serious.
10. I never get in fights with anyone. I try to make sure that nobody has any problems in their lives. And like the paragraph said... I do need to learn to say no.
11. Not so much jealous ex-lovers, but more guys who stalk my life and get, well, jealous, if I talk with another guy, whether it's flipping poop at them, or refusing to let him get three words out without interrupting him. And of course, I'm too nice to tell them to screw off.
13. I play videogames, I only do ladylike things if I feel like it. I swear sometimes, and I hate wearing dresses. I make raunchy jokes around my friends, I enjoy pranks, and that's just who I am. Honestly, I'm not gonna improve upon that unlike the other three things on this list.


----------



## amanda32

*Reason 1: You're Too "Fun".*

I make some jokes but not too many; I think I know when to be serious.


*Reason 2: You're A Party Girl.*


_If your life only consists of partying hard every night and sleeping in during the day, no doubt that guys would steer clear of having any serious commitments with you. Being the obnoxious drunk girl would only get you in bed and the guy "mysteriously" disappearing when morning arrives._

Heh. Perhaps this one might have applied to me from time to time. I do like to go out drinking with friends, far more for the social aspect than the drink though. I think I've definitely been the party girl.
And even though it's true that the guy "mysteriously" disappears in the morning -- the hypocrisy of it drives me insane. I will never understand why men apply standards to women they wouldn't dream of holding themselves to and how it they see *no problem* with that. 
And just a side note for all the men out there: one of my best friends married her one night stand and they have 2 children together. She is a quality woman, faithful, honest, hard working and a great mother.
Open your minds a little please. Women like sex too, and maybe, just maybe she slept with you on the first date because she really, really liked you -- and wanted to.


*Reason 3: Your Friends Are Complete Bitches.*

This one has never applied to me. Why would I be friends with a bitch? No.


*Reason 4: You're Too Picky.*

Too picky. Meh. It's just what bitter guys say because a woman isn't into them that they think _should be_. Free will, you can't force love and just because a guy is good on paper doesn't mean he makes her heart go pitter patter.

*Reason 5: You Have A Bad Attitude.*

Has never applied to me.

*Reason 6: You're Still In Love With Your Ex.*
N/A

*Reason 7: You're Mentally Unstable.*









_Whether you're just mildly depressed, or severely schizophrenic with a sociopathic personality... Your mental illness will frustrate and may even scare men away, even if they do love you to bits. Solution? Go get professional help before you can even THINK about dating again. You deserve to be happy and healthy... And your relationships will turn COMPLETELY better for everyone involved._

Pffft. Don't men loooove to "save" these women from themselves? O, riiiight. That's only if she's drop dead gorgeous and out of his league...
Anyway, never applied to me either.

*Reason 8: You're Too Flirty.*









_Flirting is a great way to meet and have fun with men. Once you're in a relationship, though, you may need to cut this out when you are with other males. Flirting with your (Or God forbid, his!) male friends is just asking for a dumping... Either stop this bad habit, or enjoy being a flirt... For the rest of your life._

I can be flirty from time to time. Perhaps this has scared away a guy or two but I've only ever done it jokingly. 

*Reason 9: You're Too Fast To Get Into Bed With.*









_Ain't nothing wrong with being proud of your body and sexuality... However, it is been said for so long that in the dating world, getting in bed with a man before the 3rd date and beyond will strip away all the mystery, and the guy losing interest. It sucks, but learn to be a little patient, and focus on your guy instead of his schling-schlong; THAT comes later, and the anticipation will be worth it in the end, promise!_

Yeah...the age old double standard which is unfortunately true. Really wish men would get over their own egos...but probably will never happen.

If men knew anything about women they would know -- the fact that she slept with someone quickly does not mean she won't be faithful and the "virgin" will be. *So naive*.

*Reason 10: You're Too Nice.*









_Yes! Even women can be "the nice guy"! Remember that while being laid-back, sweet and giving are some great traits that men can find in a woman, it's also okay to think for yourself and to say "No" every once in a while to your guy... He is not your whole world, and growing a little back bone can make you even MORE attractive in his eyes._

Definitely, this one is my crux I'm sure. I'm INFP so very nice and kind by nature. I'll do pretty much anything for people that I care about and I think this is seen as being a doormat. I have learned that where men are concerned, us women cannot treat them with the same respect and kindness we would our girlfriends -- they take advantage of this and think us weak. They don't understand we're being nice because that's how we behave with people we're close to.
And that's why guys end up with psycho bitches. The number one reason IMO -- *they mistake selfishness for confidence.*

*Reason 11: You Have A Jealous Ex-Lover.*
N/A

*Reason 12: You Are Self-Destructive.*
N/A

*Reason 13: You're Too... Male.*









_Listen, there's nothing wrong with pursuing sports or video games. Heck, there's nothing wrong with having fun and getting down and dirty... However, being exactly the same as his male friend replica is just asking for getting invited to the dreaded "friendzone". Ever heard of guys describing one of their female friends, who happens to wrestle buff men for fun, as "the sister they never had"? Yeah, it ain't pretty! Remember to get in touch with your feminine side as well! Burping, farting, having body odor, not shaving, and dressing like a dude is just too much for a heterosexual guy to handle._

I think this happened to me once, when I was living in a small city in China with a small group of foreingers who were primarily male. We would go out drinking and partying together and in the end they saw me as "one of the guys". That sucked. 

*Reason 14: You're High-Maintenance.*

N/A to me.
However, just a little side note: I find it curious that men always want to make a lot of money to impress women and buy them things, get the kind of women who is attracted by those things and then complain about how "all women are money hungry and materialistic". You keep them the way you attract them, men.


*Reason 15: You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.*









_Your man has a life, and you need to focus on yours! Get some new friends, get a job, or pursue some interesting hobbies. In the same token, remember to spend some time with your significant other; Your friends/job/hobbies/etc can't take up ALL of your time, unless you enjoy being a busy, SINGLE lady!_

When a man is "clingy" it's considered "cute" and "sweet". 
If a woman is clingy it generally means the guy is being an ass and is spending time with drinking beer and eating pizza with his friends instead of taking his girl out for some quality time together. Give her that, make her feel loved and secure in the relationship and she won't be clingy. 

Having said that, women shouldn't be putting up with that kind of behaviour. Unfortunately, all too often we do because when we feel someone leaving we try to hold onto them when we should let them go because that is far more seductive.

Women: start treating your men badly and they will behave better. Treat them the opposite of how you would treat your girlfriends. Don't call them back. Be too busy. Treat them the way they treat you. Men like to push and test -- something women don't do. Next thing you know, he'll show up at your door with flowers and chocolate. Strange but true. 

Ever wonder why guys beat each other up and then are best friends afterwords? Think about it...

*Reason 16: You Nag Too Much.*









_Do I really need to explain? Or are you just gonna yell at me to clean the dishes all over again?_

Women "nag" because we have too much damned work to do and we want you to *help us*. I'm sure we've asked you nicely at least twice before we get to the "nagging" stage. 

What a woman should really do is say nothing and let things go to hell. But what do we do? We do the work we asked you to do and then become bitter.

*Reason 17: You're Abusive.*









_It is NEVER okay to hit a man. Ever. Domestic violence is very serious, and your man should never be your personal punching bag for all the issues that you possess._

Huh??

*Reason 18: You're Too Shy.*









_Men aren't always the initiator to everything, so sometimes, you're going to have to buck up and ask him out first! Confidence is sexy, and men will appreciate you making the first move; It's a breath of fresh air!_

I think that men's ego's will be stroked but they won't respect a woman who asks them out (as a rule). They like to chase and hunt. Unfortunately, some things never change.
If a man doesn't ask me out, like hell I'm going to. Double standard you say? Well...you guys get to sleep around and party with impunity while we are constantly judged. Which would you prefer?

*Reason 19: You're A Slob.*









_Take a damn shower! Shave, apply deodorant, take care of your hair and skin... You are not a pig, and having very bad body odor won't attract any guys, unless you like very strange guys!_

Again...huh???


*Reason 20: You Pretend To Be Dumb.*









_Being the dumb blonde chick might be seemingly endearing... For a short while!_[/quote]

No...those girls really are dumb! Wake up!!


----------



## Stillwater

:tongue:


----------



## silmarillion

Thank God I'm lesbian!!!! :crazy:


----------



## skycloud86

shtm said:


> Thank God I'm lesbian!!!! :crazy:


Maybe, but you're still a woman, right?


----------



## silmarillion

skycloud86 said:


> Maybe, but you're still a woman, right?


Yes, but if this list shows me the ideal women, I might change gender :laughing: no, just kidding.


----------



## possiBri

Definitely #13 – too male... it sucks because I know I'm not going to change, this is just how I am. :|


----------



## Mutatio NOmenis

amanda32 said:


> *Reason 1: You're Too "Fun".*
> 
> *Reason 17: You're Abusive.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _It is NEVER okay to hit a man. Ever. Domestic violence is very serious, and your man should never be your personal punching bag for all the issues that you possess._
> 
> Huh??!!


Damn right! I hate it when I see girls smack their boyfriend or punch them and say it's cute how he says "that hurts." If my girl tried that on me, I'd have no problem giving her a gut punch for comparison. If you don't grasp that you can abuse men, then get it through your thick skull that men are not made of iron inherently. /Flame


----------



## possiBri

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> Damn right! I hate it when I see girls smack their boyfriend or punch them and say it's cute how he says "that hurts." If my girl tried that on me, I'd have no problem giving her a gut punch for comparison. If you don't grasp that you can abuse men, then get it through your thick skull that men are not made of iron inherently. /Flame


I dislike the way I see most girlfriends act... I usually have to watch my good friends suffer through stupid bs when I could do a 300% better job than the current chick they're with :|


----------



## skycloud86

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> Damn right! I hate it when I see girls smack their boyfriend or punch them and say it's cute how he says "that hurts." If my girl tried that on me, I'd have no problem giving her a gut punch for comparison. If you don't grasp that you can abuse men, then get it through your thick skull that men are not made of iron inherently. /Flame


Or you could just tell her firmly that you don't find it cute, that it does hurt and if it happens again the relationship is over. I don't see why women rightfully leave the losers who abuse women they apparently love (if they can, that is. Too many women are trapped in abusive relationships, and so are too many men), whilst a man would do nothing but hide the fact that they don't like being hit and put up with it in silence.


----------



## devoid

Dunno if anyone's mentioned this, but... because you're a lesbian! xD

A lot of bi or bicurious girls get the impression that men are so turned on by lesbian sex that they want to date a girl who dates girls. From what I've seen this is not usually true! It makes a partner very uncomfortable to be dating someone who is more likely to swing to the opposite sex, and openly talks about it on a daily basis. This goes for both genders, but women don't always realizes that it can apply to them too. Being bisexual is not an excuse to demand a polygamous or open relationship from your partner, or be sexually open around the same sex while in a monogamous relationship. It might be hot to a guy who isn't involved with you, but nobody wants to be tossed around like that. If you want to be with a man, then stop insisting how much you prefer women, because it'll only make him feel bad about himself. And if you want to be with a woman, then you had better not expect her to be a man or to fulfill some other needs that she isn't capable of filling.


----------



## Fizz

hziegel said:


> Dunno if anyone's mentioned this, but... because you're a lesbian! xD
> 
> A lot of bi or bicurious girls get the impression that men are so turned on by lesbian sex that they want to date a girl who dates girls. From what I've seen this is not usually true! *It makes a partner very uncomfortable to be dating someone who is more likely to swing to the opposite sex, and openly talks about it on a daily basis.* This goes for both genders, but women don't always realizes that it can apply to them too. *Being bisexual is not an excuse to demand a polygamous or open relationship from your partner, or be sexually open around the same sex while in a monogamous relationship.* It might be hot to a guy who isn't involved with you, but nobody wants to be tossed around like that. If you want to be with a man, then stop insisting how much you prefer women, because it'll only make him feel bad about himself. And if you want to be with a woman, then you had better not expect her to be a man or to fulfill some other needs that she isn't capable of filling.


This is why it can be hard for bisexuals, the assumption that we're going to leave our current partners at any moment. I don't go around bragging about how I would "bang" that guy or "bang" that girl. It's something people might assume if they have biphobia and don't understand that being bisexual doesn't mean you're hypersexual. A friendly BTW, the term is polyamorous, not polygamous. Polygamous is two or more married partners to another person.

The people who fall into the bi-chic category are the ones who brag and ruin it for the rest of us. They want the attention, I am not seeking attention. I just accept that I could be romantically involved with either a man or a woman. It doesn't mean once I'm done with somebody, I'll jump back to another flavor.

AND being lesbian doesn't stop you from being in a relationship. Unless you're implying bisexuals are out there snatchin' them up (pun intended). Hide yo ******* because they gropin' er'body.


----------



## devoid

Fizz said:


> This is why it can be hard for bisexuals, the assumption that we're going to leave our current partners at any moment. I don't go around bragging about how I would "bang" that guy or "bang" that girl. It's something people might assume if they have biphobia and don't understand that being bisexual doesn't mean you're hypersexual. A friendly BTW, the term is polyamorous, not polygamous. Polygamous is two or more married partners.
> 
> The people who fall into the bi-chic category are the ones who brag and ruin it for the rest of us. They want the attention, I am not seeking attention. I just accept that I could be romantically involved with either a man or a woman. It doesn't mean once I'm done with somebody, I'll jump back to another flavor.
> 
> AND being lesbian doesn't stop you from being in a relationship. Unless you're implying bisexuals are out there snatchin' them up (pun intended). Hide yo ******* because they gropin' er'body.


I have absolutely nothing against bisexuals, and make no attempt to avoid dating them - male or female - although I consider myself straight. I should have phrased that first part better and said "You're not getting many guys because you're a lesbian!" I have met a lot of girls who claim to be gay but then date men, and are constantly complaining about how they want a woman. It makes me want to be blunt and say, "Then why are you dating a man?!" They get really touchy and start off on the "Oh you're just homophobic and you don't understand and gender doesn't matter" but clearly gender does matter to them. If you are comfortable with your sexuality and don't make unfair demands on your partners then kudos to you. I know there are plenty of people like that.


----------



## Fizz

hziegel said:


> I have absolutely nothing against bisexuals, and make no attempt to avoid dating them - male or female - although I consider myself straight. I should have phrased that first part better and said "You're not getting many guys because you're a lesbian!" I have met a lot of girls who claim to be gay but then date men, and are constantly complaining about how they want a woman. It makes me want to be blunt and say, "Then why are you dating a man?!" They get really touchy and start off on the "Oh you're just homophobic and you don't understand and gender doesn't matter" but clearly gender does matter to them. If you are comfortable with your sexuality and don't make unfair demands on your partners then kudos to you. I know there are plenty of people like that.


The choice of women isn't big out there, so it's not always easy to find them. Statistically, 1 in 10 is homosexual, half of the population is female (gotta know where to look). And there's the ones who will only go for _Gold Star Lesbians_ because that's how they roll. I wouldn't bother with them anyway. I know quite a few bisexuals but they usually stick to the hetero relationships. I think it's easier based on society, family, and marketing. I'm not dating anyone, so I can't really speak much for the girls who only date men.


----------



## devoid

Fizz said:


> The choice of women isn't big out there, so it's not always easy to find them. Statistically, 1 in 10 is homosexual, half of the population is female (gotta know where to look). And there's the ones who will only go for _Gold Star Lesbians_ because that's how they roll. I wouldn't bother with them anyway. I know quite a few bisexuals but they usually stick to the hetero relationships. I think it's easier based on society, family, and marketing. I'm not dating anyone, so I can't really speak much for the girls who only date men.


Honestly, it's much less statistically common for women to be homosexual than men - not just because of society, but the hormone patterns. No offense intended, but most of the women I know who consider themselves bisexual still prefer to date men just out of sexual preference, which leads me to suspect that they're more like me - straight but open minded. But obviously I can't make any judgments because I just don't know.


----------



## Fizz

hziegel said:


> Honestly, it's much less statistically common for women to be homosexual than men - not just because of society, but the hormone patterns. No offense intended, but most of the women I know who consider themselves bisexual still prefer to date men just out of sexual preference, which leads me to suspect that they're more like me - straight but open minded. But obviously I can't make any judgments because I just don't know.


I figured it's biological. I don't like putting people into categories that are so black and white. You're either heterosexual or you're homosexual (boo!). In my personal opinion, I think humans are influenced heavily by society to stick to one side or the other. There are people who don't like that grey area, it's not defined and that can be upsetting. I don't think pushing people to one side or the other is appropriate just because they only date one sex. 

The labels are from society and most society's are heteronormative for various reasons. I personally feel like being bisexual is more common than most people think. I don't believe a lot of people put thought into it if they just stick with what society deems "normal".


----------



## devoid

Fizz said:


> I figured it's biological. I don't like putting people into categories that are so black and white. You're either heterosexual or you're homosexual (boo!). In my personal opinion, I think humans are influenced heavily by society to stick to one side or the other. There are people who don't like that grey area, it's not defined and that can be upsetting. I don't think pushing people to one side or the other is appropriate just because they only date one sex.
> 
> The labels are from society and most society's are heteronormative for various reasons. I personally feel like being bisexual is more common than most people think. I don't believe a lot of people put thought into it if they just stick with what society deems "normal".


Well, it depends how you define the words really. When I say "homosexual" I usually mean within 20% of that side of the spectrum, and likewise for hetero. If you want to be really specific, I think nearly everybody in the world is bisexual, but most of them still have a preference on way or the other. In most scenarios I will use those labels, because it's so much easier for people to group things into categories. If I went around arguing everyone who called me straight it would be really confusing. Similarly, I can't understand why somebody would label themselves as bisexual if they are almost exclusively interested in one sex or the other but occasionally have a fling with the other one. Over 25% of all men have come to orgasm through homosexual activity! Yet only 5% of them are gay? So are they all bisexual, or are they just having fun?


----------



## Fizz

hziegel said:


> Well, it depends how you define the words really. When I say "homosexual" I usually mean within 20% of that side of the spectrum, and likewise for hetero. If you want to be really specific, *I think nearly everybody in the world is bisexual, but most of them still have a preference on way or the other. *In most scenarios I will use those labels, because it's so much easier for people to group things into categories. If I went around arguing everyone who called me straight it would be really confusing. Similarly, I can't understand why somebody would label themselves as bisexual if they are almost exclusively interested in one sex or the other but occasionally have a fling with the other one. Over 25% of all men have come to orgasm through homosexual activity! Yet only 5% of them are gay? So are they all bisexual, or are they just having fun?


That's my thoughts on bisexuality. I think a reason for that statistic and their claimed label is because they're afraid of the social stigma and backlash of being considered homosexual or bisexual. That plays back into people being naturally bisexual. I don't see why we have to label the behavior, too strict. Unless someone is on a strict hetero diet and wants everyone to know that they are not in the slightest interested in some same sex escapades, that's their prerogative.

Why do people have to be THIS or THAT? Why can't they just say bisexual or non-label?
Are you going off of the Kinsey scale?


----------



## Slider

From a male perspective, if you label yourself bisexual I will definitely avoid you.


----------



## Fizz

Slider said:


> From a male perspective, if you label yourself bisexual I will definitely avoid you.


I'm fine with that.

Not my fault people can be insecure about their partners.


----------



## Drewbie

*MAYBE I'M SINGLE BECAUSE HE DIDN'T PUT A RING ON IT.*








(he did put a ring on it, I gave it back)


----------



## devoid

Fizz said:


> That's my thoughts on bisexuality. I think a reason for that statistic and their claimed label is because they're afraid of the social stigma and backlash of being considered homosexual or bisexual. That plays back into people being naturally bisexual. I don't see why we have to label the behavior, too strict. Unless someone is on a strict hetero diet and wants everyone to know that they are not in the slightest interested in some same sex escapades, that's their prerogative.
> 
> Why do people have to be THIS or THAT? Why can't they just say bisexual or non-label?
> Are you going off of the Kinsey scale?


Because our brains are made to function on labels. You can keep fighting it all you want, but it would take too long to use verbal communication if humans never generalized or labeled things. Out of respect for certain people I can stop using the terms homosexual or heterosexual, but it becomes incredibly difficult to talk about sexuality when you have no words to describe various habits.

And yes, I was referring to the Kinsey scale in the most basic sense.

If you wish to remain non-labeled you can say so. You can tell people it's none of their business or that you don't want them to mention related terminology. Until you do so, I will continue to call you by your preferred sexuality or the one you associate with, simply because I have no better words to use. There are many people who call themselves Christian that I do not believe are Christian, and many people who call themselves adults that I think of as children, but I will continue to use their more commonly accepted labels unless they say otherwise, only for the sake of simplicity.

I would not bother myself to say, "Well no, Fiz is not bisexual, she is actually just a female who has relations or attractions with either sex but prefers not to label herself with a sexuality because it is too specific to her personal beliefs" unless you asked me to. I'd probably just say, "Yes, she's bisexual."


----------



## Fizz

hziegel said:


> Because our brains are made to function on labels. You can keep fighting it all you want, but it would take too long to use verbal communication if humans never generalized or labeled things. Out of respect for certain people I can stop using the terms homosexual or heterosexual, but it becomes incredibly difficult to talk about sexuality when you have no words to describe various habits.
> 
> And yes, I was referring to the Kinsey scale in the most basic sense.
> 
> If you wish to remain non-labeled you can say so. You can tell people it's none of their business or that you don't want them to mention related terminology. Until you do so, I will continue to call you by your preferred sexuality or the one you associate with, simply because I have no better words to use. There are many people who call themselves Christian that I do not believe are Christian, and many people who call themselves adults that I think of as children, but I will continue to use their more commonly accepted labels unless they say otherwise, only for the sake of simplicity.
> 
> I would not bother myself to say, "Well no, Fiz is not bisexual, she is actually just a female who has relations or attractions with either sex but prefers not to label herself with a sexuality because it is too specific to her personal beliefs" unless you asked me to. I'd probably just say, "Yes, she's bisexual."


I understand that people are going to categorize, it's life. It just seems like a personal preference of yours that doesn't need to be pushed upon others. If it doesn't affect you directly, I don't see why you should care. It's a word, while I feel actions speak louder than words, I think people should be left alone with their word to play in the sand. It doesn't affect me if some chick claims she is bisexual and only dates men. 

And for the Christian thing, I see people who claim they are Christian but I just think they're doing a_ bad job_ at it (ie not following the dogma). You could just say that they're doing a bad job at being bisexual. That doesn't stop them from being attracted to both, it just means they clearly have a preference.

Also there is fluid sexuality, which changes over time. People aren't always consistent but I think fluid is apt for some bisexuals.

PS
I have a feeling we aren't going to agree. I'm fine with that.


----------



## devoid

Fizz said:


> I understand that people are going to categorize, it's life. It just seems like a personal preference of yours that doesn't need to be pushed upon others. If it doesn't affect you directly, I don't see why you should care. It's a word, while I feel actions speak louder than words, I think people should be left alone with their word to play in the sand. It doesn't affect me if some chick claims she is bisexual and only dates men.
> 
> And for the Christian thing, I see people who claim they are Christian but I just think they're doing a_ bad job_ at it (ie not following the dogma). You could just say that they're doing a bad job at being bisexual. That doesn't stop them from being attracted to both, it just means they clearly have a preference.
> 
> Also there is fluid sexuality, which changes over time. People aren't always consistent but I think fluid is apt for some bisexuals.
> 
> PS
> I have a feeling we aren't going to agree. I'm fine with that.


I'm okay with you disagreeing. I just think this is something that certain people get way too worked up about. I'm not easily upset by little things, and I have difficulty understanding people who are, but there's nothing wrong with them.


----------



## Fizz

hziegel said:


> I'm okay with you disagreeing. I just think this is something that certain people get way too worked up about. I'm not easily upset by little things, and I have difficulty understanding people who are, but there's nothing wrong with them.


I'm not worked up, I just don't understand why you have strict labels for people.

And this has been off topic for pages. Oops


----------



## silmarillion

Because this is called life, not Hollywood.


----------



## LittleHawk

shtm said:


> Because this is called life, not Hollywood.


Hear Hear :laughing:


----------



## Jason104

why not ask a male why your still single ??


----------



## skycloud86

Jason104 said:


> why not ask a male why your still single ??


There's three and a half billion women and three and a half billion men in the world. Do you think that each and every man will know why single women are single, and do you think that each and every woman will know why single men are single?


----------



## Jason104

skycloud86 said:


> There's three and a half billion women and three and a half billion men in the world. Do you think that each and every man will know why single women are single, and do you think that each and every woman will know why single men are single?


yep ............


----------



## Cleo

Don't think about the don'ts. Think about the do's. 

Everybody is different and of course we should work on our weaknesses, but I wouldn't be too worried about being perfect. I know someone is out there that will accept me for how I am.


----------



## Cleo

Magenta said:


> These are probably the reasons I'm still single! :blushed:


People can complain all they want to about how women should be able to get into bed just like men do. The fact is men are extremely less likely to get married when they are getting it. They are going to be less likely to marry the girl giving it to them and then unavailable to marry anyone else for the time being. So now everyone has to suffer for other's unthoughtful, selfish lifestyle.


----------



## Digger Blue

Really consider hard before you go after an artistic guy who specializes in cubism (like Picasso did!).


----------



## Cleo

Digger Blue said:


> Really consider hard before you go after an artistic guy who specializes in cubism (like Picasso did!).


I wouldn't dare go after an artsy guy, because I only like ISTJs, no ifs, ands, or buts. Really though, when guys do get married after already having it, I think it is a rare and risky statistic. We have to worry that after investing our emotions that he might decide we are not the one for him and then it is possible that he might marry us because it is the next step in the relationship or he just wants to get married and it is the most available option, even if he doesn't feel as invested. Cinderalla, Snow White, Priscilla Presly, Victorian style is the way to go.


----------



## Digger Blue

Life may become a bit more complicated than you are planning on. Good luck!


----------



## Cleo

Digger Blue said:


> Life may become a bit more complicated than you are planning on. Good luck!


Actually its not. No cheating men, no rude phone calls in the middle of the night, no worries of whether I am getting what I want in turn out of the relationship, no jealous x-girlfriends. No diseases, no mind changing, no unwanted babies, no change in personality because of birth control, no crying over someone who decided he wanted to go different ways, and no having sex with someone who is uncertain about me. I don't feel dirty or less of in value. Only men opening doors for me, thinking highly of me, speaking respectfully of me, and men who are seriously serious about me, who have bent over backwards for me and help me with little odds and ends. I like to live dangerously, but I wouldn't choose a ring on my finger before anyone can even touch me if this wasn't working out for me so well.


----------



## Magenta

Cleo said:


> People can complain all they want to about how women should be able to get into bed just like men do. The fact is men are extremely less likely to get married when they are getting it. They are going to be less likely to marry the girl giving it to them and then unavailable to marry anyone else for the time being. So now everyone has to suffer for other's unthoughtful, selfish lifestyle.


Excuse me? I'm a spinster, for want of a more modern word. And every man I ever encountered as an adult lied about being single, when in truth he either had a wife or girlfriend. So yes, perhaps I should have hired a private investigator every time I met a guy, but as someone who is honest, I believed others to be, too. And the only one that 'suffered' was me, for being stupid. But not any more. I SHOULD be more unthoughtful and selfish; it seems that's the way to operate in this society. One thing guaranteed, if someone accused me of something, it would make me want to do it. After all, when someone's judgemental without cause, may's well give them something concrete to complain about, right?


----------



## Cleo

Magenta said:


> Excuse me? I'm a spinster, for want of a more modern word. And every man I ever encountered as an adult lied about being single, when in truth he either had a wife or girlfriend. So yes, perhaps I should have hired a private investigator every time I met a guy, but as someone who is honest, I believed others to be, too. And the only one that 'suffered' was me, for being stupid. But not any more. I SHOULD be more unthoughtful and selfish; it seems that's the way to operate in this society. One thing guaranteed, if someone accused me of something, it would make me want to do it. After all, when someone's judgemental without cause, may's well give them something concrete to complain about, right?


I am not talking about sociopathic dogs, I am talking about men who are almost worth dating, who have a conscious but need to get their act together.


----------



## cinnabun

I was just reading this for the heck of it  and I have to say I _really _disagree with number 18 o_o.

I'm a shy person when it comes to guys. Like I can talk to guys and stuff  I have guy friends ! But when it comes to relationships idk o_o the thought of myself_ being_ in one freaks me out. I'm not a typical 18-year-old girl: I'm naive, gulliable, very innocent (people say that to me all the time >_>) and I've not had a lot of experience (I've kissed guys before, but anything beyond that? Nope  and proud to admit it).

So as you can see from my lack of experience, I'm not the most boldest girl out there, I'm clueless about guys! I've never asked anyone out - _ever_. Because yes I'm shy, I'm scared of rejection T_T and also because I guess I'm just oblivious to my own feelings. It takes me a while to realise I like a guy, and once I do figure out I like somone I'm like: "Really? o_o Hmm *analyses feelings* "

I've had lots of guys ask me out (without sounding full of myself ^_^'') and like me because I'm so "shy". So my point is, even if you're shy don't let that make you think that's why you've not got a boyfriend - some guys like it  ^_^.


----------



## Digger Blue

XDollie:
I can't speak for all guys, but many, if not most, are as scared of rejection as you are. 
Digger Blue


----------



## cinnabun

Oh I know  we're only human after all :3. Any time I've been asked out, I feel grateful they've plucked up the courage to ask me . They're really brave, it isn't the easiest thing to do .


----------



## heyday

Lol your signature pic drawing cracks me up--im an INFJ and thats what my ENFP gf and i are like when we hang out


----------



## PhoebeJaspe

> Reason 13: You're Too... Male.
> Listen, there's nothing wrong with pursuing sports or video games. Heck, there's nothing wrong with having fun and getting down and dirty... However, being exactly the same as his male friend replica is just asking for getting invited to the dreaded "friendzone". Ever heard of guys describing one of their female friends, who happens to wrestle buff men for fun, as "the sister they never had"? Yeah, it ain't pretty! Remember to get in touch with your feminine side as well! Burping, farting, having body odor, not shaving, and dressing like a dude is just too much for a heterosexual guy to handle.


I still get men when I'm being too 'manly' but I have a feminine face and body I suppose... Lol. I'd rather jump off a cliff than follow any of the rules up there. @[email protected] I'm not ready for another relationship, I've had more than 10... One pretty destructive one. 
I've got some guys on the line now, but I'm moving soon to england, so no point in having a relationship... But yeah, I'm not a perfect-man-seeker either, I've just met two 'perfect' men in my life... Ahh, so dreamy. One was my ex... and one I held hands with on the beach.
This is the heart sinker/ my love at first sight guy:
http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2010/228/6/0/Heart_Sinker_by_phoebexjaspe.jpg

lol. I took that... I'm too dreamy to be in a relationship right now, that's the problem and I don't want one.


----------



## The13thGuest

This really is sexist, isn't it?
On here it says "too picky" but on the equivalent thread for males doesn't say that. So men can want Barbie and that's acceptable, but we can't want Prince Charming? I'm sorry, but I still want Prince charming. D:
And as for the "too male" one, I don't see how playing video games is a male thing, I know just as many girls who play video games as guys, and I overall know more guys. And the girls I know are far from masculine. I think females don't get majorly addicted to them as males do.. Maybe.

Well I think this and the male version of this thread are sexist to both genders. D:


----------



## ForsakenMe

The13thGuest said:


> This really is sexist, isn't it?
> On here it says "too picky" but on the equivalent thread for males doesn't say that. So men can want Barbie and that's acceptable, but we can't want Prince Charming? I'm sorry, but I still want Prince charming. D:
> And as for the "too male" one, I don't see how playing video games is a male thing, I know just as many girls who play video games as guys, and I overall know more guys. And the girls I know are far from masculine. I think females don't get majorly addicted to them as males do.. Maybe.
> 
> Well I think this and the male version of this thread are sexist to both genders. D:


It's more of a joke thread than a serious one. >_>

Men hate it when we have "standards" but oh, they can have all the high standards in the world.

Yes, this thread and the other thread are very sexist. But again, my thread is more of a tongue-in-cheek than actually being serious.


----------



## Female INFJ

I could list more reasons as to why I am single...However, a new person, and INFJ is now in my life. Although we say very little to each other, something small seems to be growing! This single girl of many years, may be seeing a change. It is amazing how reluctant I am on change, when it was change I was seeking for many years. I suppose it was unexpected that a person would "show up" in my life. 

I still keep in touch with this Thread, and the other. I feel it is sad that many great people are not experience the care they deserve, while many obnoxious, fake persons I have observed have no problem finding and keeping relationships! (not all persons, but many I see this with) I suppose it is a balance of many factors, and a persons needs and desires that summarize this phenomena! Hmm. 

My hopes are no longer high, but my friend is quietly interested. I will go along for now, and see what happens. Thanks for all of your honest posts in this Thread, everyone and to ForsakenMe for starting the needed Thread. Reading it from time to time, makes me feel in good company, while dealing with the "real" feelings of always being single.


----------



## kristle

The13thGuest said:


> This really is sexist, isn't it?
> On here it says *"too picky*" but on the equivalent thread for males doesn't say that. So men can want Barbie and that's acceptable, but we can't want Prince Charming? I'm sorry, but I still want Prince charming. D:
> And as for the "too male" one, I don't see how playing video games is a male thing, I know just as many girls who play video games as guys, and I overall know more guys. And the girls I know are far from masculine. I think females don't get majorly addicted to them as males do.. Maybe.
> 
> Well I think this and the male version of this thread are sexist to both genders. D:


I think it's fair to say the men's thread doesn't include drop your standards or being too picky because in general they're not. I mean come on, when's the last time you've heard a female version to "going whaling" or "harpooning?" That's right cuz the women don't have a term for it. We don't make a common habit of lowering the bar on a regular basis to the point of needing to name it. It is, perhaps, gender specific, not to be confused with sexist. 

Honestly, I'm perfectly ok with being known for a high bar, lol. It is preferable to being known for too low of a bar imo.


----------



## Jennywocky

I'm not with anyone right now because I haven't found a guy in my age range that meets basic criteria for me wanting to be in his general proximity all the time / have my life bound up with his. I try not to be picky; at the same time, I already know I'd rather be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong reasons. I already did the "incompatible" thing for years and no longer want to do it.



The13thGuest said:


> On here it says "too picky" but on the equivalent thread for males doesn't say that. So men can want Barbie and that's acceptable, but we can't want Prince Charming? I'm sorry, but I still want Prince charming. D:


I agree that it should be fair... although at this point I'd just be happy for a smart, funny, sensitive guy, even if he doesn't have a great flow of income or be a 10 on the looks scale.



> And as for the "too male" one, I don't see how playing video games is a male thing, I know just as many girls who play video games as guys, and I overall know more guys. And the girls I know are far from masculine. I think females don't get majorly addicted to them as males do.. Maybe.


That could be right. I think women find it easier to set such things aside when they have other things they need to do with their time. So, prioritizations might be a little different.


----------



## jazzyangel43

So is there nothing a girl can do to remedy the "I slept with him too soon". It was the 3rd date - which was totally out of who I have always been, I just really wanted him and he's the first guy I've been in a relationship with for many years. LOL


----------



## Fleetfoot

> *Reason 1: You're Too "Fun".*
> 
> 
> _Everybody likes a funny lady... However, there is such thing as being too funny. If you don't take life or yourself seriously at all, how will you expect for men to take YOU seriously at all? You can crack jocks from time to time, but when the situation calls for being serious, lay away the Dane Cook jokes for a while._


This one is a possibility...I don't believe life should be taken as seriously as everyone does, then it isn't fun. Why do people want to be serious? I can be serious when the time calls for it, but for the most part I try and make things more fun for everyone. So...maybe number one?



> *Reason 13: You're Too... Male.*
> 
> 
> _Listen, there's nothing wrong with pursuing sports or video games. Heck, there's nothing wrong with having fun and getting down and dirty... However, being exactly the same as his male friend replica is just asking for getting invited to the dreaded "friendzone". Ever heard of guys describing one of their female friends, who happens to wrestle buff men for fun, as "the sister they never had"? Yeah, it ain't pretty! Remember to get in touch with your feminine side as well! Burping, farting, having body odor, not shaving, and dressing like a dude is just too much for a heterosexual guy to handle._


I don't ever recall wrestling with buff men, but I would say this is a factor for me. Except what's with the body odor, I don't know guys who have that unless they're total scum, or they just worked out. I dress like a girl, for the most part, I just sort of have male mannerisms and I've been told that I think like a dude...whatever that means. o_0


> *Reason 15: You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.*
> 
> 
> _Your man has a life, and you need to focus on yours! Get some new friends, get a job, or pursue some interesting hobbies. In the same token, remember to spend some time with your significant other; Your friends/job/hobbies/etc can't take up ALL of your time, unless you enjoy being a busy, SINGLE lady!_


For the most part, I do enjoy being a busy single lady. I don't usually keep my distance from others though, I'm very social, but I do have a lot to do in a day, and not enough time for a boyfriend.





And apparently, that is why I never had a boyfriend, and don't plan on having a serious relationship now, with anyone. And honestly, these reasons don't doom you to be single forever...I know girls much worse in mental stability and other qualities than I am and they always had their man at their side. Maybe they're good in bed? The world may never know...


----------



## Jennywocky

> *Reason 4: You're Too Picky.*
> Your perfect guy: Athletic, super-genius, has the artistic talents of Picasso, as handsome as Brad Pitt, and has more money than God. Realize that nobody will ever be perfect, and that you need to take in the guy's flaws as well as his good points. Chill!


Possibly that, but I spent 15 years in an entire mismatch of a marriage. I don't want to do that again. It's more a matter of realizing which traits are dealbreakers vs just things to accommodate.




> *Reason 10: You're Too Nice.*
> Yes! Even women can be "the nice guy"! Remember that while being laid-back, sweet and giving are some great traits that men can find in a woman, it's also okay to think for yourself and to say "No" every once in a while to your guy... He is not your whole world, and growing a little back bone can make you even MORE attractive in his eyes.


That used to be me... but not anymore. Mua ha ha.

Honestly, I learned the price of "niceness" as well as the value of being alive and more raw, and I would rather lose out on someone because I wasn't nice enough than live a life that didn't feel like life to me.



> *Reason 13: You're Too... Male.*
> Listen, there's nothing wrong with pursuing sports or video games. Heck, there's nothing wrong with having fun and getting down and dirty... However, being exactly the same as his male friend replica is just asking for getting invited to the dreaded "friendzone". Ever heard of guys describing one of their female friends, who happens to wrestle buff men for fun, as "the sister they never had"? Yeah, it ain't pretty! Remember to get in touch with your feminine side as well! Burping, farting, having body odor, not shaving, and dressing like a dude is just too much for a heterosexual guy to handle.


I'm not overly masculine in appearance or behavior, but I can connect with men on their level and am not "Other" enough sometimes to feel like I register as potential dating material. I've been learning to unleash the "female within," though. 


> *Reason 15: You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.*
> Your man has a life, and you need to focus on yours! Get some new friends, get a job, or pursue some interesting hobbies. In the same token, remember to spend some time with your significant other; Your friends/job/hobbies/etc can't take up ALL of your time, unless you enjoy being a busy, SINGLE lady!


INTP = distant. I don't feel vulnerable enough sometimes, or dependent enough, for a guy to feel good with me. I often feel like guys might respect autonomous women, but they want to be in relationships with women who make them feel needed and let them be strong for them. I'm working on that, since I do have a vulnerable side I just often can't afford to live within, since I'm going life alone right now. In fact, it kind of unnerves me just how vulnerable I *can* be, if I'm in a committed relationship.


> *Reason 18: You're Too Shy.*
> Men aren't always the initiator to everything, so sometimes, you're going to have to buck up and ask him out first! Confidence is sexy, and men will appreciate you making the first move; It's a breath of fresh air!


Definitely used to be true. Still can be. But I'm getting better and better at finding environments I feel confident in, then taking charge. I just need to know any guy I examine has the ability to initiate as well; I don't always want to be in charge.


> *Reason 20: You Pretend To Be Dumb.*
> Being the dumb blonde chick might be seemingly endearing... For a short while!


ha ha! Fat chance of that happening!!
(But I won't rub people's nose in my smarts, I interact on a pretty casual level normally.)


----------



## wiarumas

There is a balance of needed masculinity/femininity in a woman. Women need to be able to relate to men and it would be even nice to share in some hobbies, but it can't be overdone. There are some woman that way overdo the whole "one of the guys" thing and its very unattractive. If the girl is a bigger sports fan than me or goes out and changes her own oil on the car... definitely not interested. However, knowing sports teams, enjoying watching a game every so often, and possibly understanding some car stuff is more attractive. It goes both ways though. I knew a girl who didn't even want to pump her own gas. That's a bit too feminine/high maintenance for me.


----------



## Jennywocky

wiarumas said:


> There is a balance of needed masculinity/femininity in a woman. Women need to be able to relate to men and it would be even nice to share in some hobbies, but it can't be overdone. There are some woman that way overdo the whole "one of the guys" thing and its very unattractive. If the girl is a bigger sports fan than me or goes out and changes her own oil on the car... definitely not interested. However, knowing sports teams, enjoying watching a game every so often, and possibly understanding some car stuff is more attractive. It goes both ways though. I knew a girl who didn't even want to pump her own gas. That's a bit too feminine/high maintenance for me.


I think the extremes would turn me off too.

It kind of goes the same way when I examine guys. Guys who are too Type A ("Gaston" from "Beauty and the Beast," cage match guys, etc.) are nothing I am interested in, they kind of repulse me because they're too extreme; but after dealing with enough passive/sensitive guys, I realized I need someone more in the middle. I had for awhile looked for a guy who could completely fill that emotional space and realized that, when I did, it was more like having another girl friend, and he couldn't fulfill the "guy" part to the degree I needed.

(IOW, I need to let a guy be a guy, and allow my female friends to fill the spaces he can't...)


----------



## Hello_Goodbye

Okay, so none of these apply to me at all. Now what? lol sigh....


----------



## skycloud86

wiarumas said:


> There is a balance of needed masculinity/femininity in a woman. Women need to be able to relate to men and it would be even nice to share in some hobbies, but it can't be overdone. There are some woman that way overdo the whole "one of the guys" thing and its very unattractive. If the girl is a bigger sports fan than me or goes out and changes her own oil on the car... definitely not interested. However, knowing sports teams, enjoying watching a game every so often, and possibly understanding some car stuff is more attractive. It goes both ways though. I knew a girl who didn't even want to pump her own gas. That's a bit too feminine/high maintenance for me.


That's your personal opinion - some men may find women with very masculine behaviour to be attractive. If someone is being themselves, that's the most attractive thing they can be.


----------



## Epimer

skycloud86 said:


> That's your personal opinion - some men may find women with very masculine behaviour to be attractive. If someone is being themselves, that's the most attractive thing they can be.


skycloud -- you soppy romantic you...!


----------



## skycloud86

Epimer said:


> skycloud -- you soppy romantic you...!


I'm still an INTP, right? Right?


----------



## Epimer

skycloud86 said:


> I'm still an INTP, right? Right?


Yes. I'll let you off.

Let me just link you to my most recent serious post -- and you'll see why I have to be so forgiving... :dry:




Epimer said:


> I used to have the one on my profile page as my avatar, ...


----------



## android654

ForsakenMe said:


> *Reason 7: You're Mentally Unstable.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Whether you're just mildly depressed, or severely schizophrenic with a sociopathic personality... Your mental illness will frustrate and may even scare men away, even if they do love you to bits. Solution? Go get professional help before you can even THINK about dating again. You deserve to be happy and healthy... And your relationships will turn COMPLETELY better for everyone involved._
> 
> *Reason 13: You're Too... Male.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Listen, there's nothing wrong with pursuing sports or video games. Heck, there's nothing wrong with having fun and getting down and dirty... However, being exactly the same as his male friend replica is just asking for getting invited to the dreaded "friendzone". Ever heard of guys describing one of their female friends, who happens to wrestle buff men for fun, as "the sister they never had"? Yeah, it ain't pretty! Remember to get in touch with your feminine side as well! Burping, farting, having body odor, not shaving, and dressing like a dude is just too much for a heterosexual guy to handle._


Remove "Burping, farting, having body odor, not shaving" and she sounds almost perfect.



ForsakenMe said:


> *Reason 17: You're Abusive.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _It is NEVER okay to hit a man. Ever. Domestic violence is very serious, and your man should never be your personal punching bag for all the issues that you possess._


And now she's nothing but alluring...


----------



## Female INFJ

skycloud86 said:


> That's your personal opinion - some men may find women with very masculine behaviour to be attractive. If someone is being themselves, that's the most attractive thing they can be.


I felt this response to be very spiritual in nature. I think there is sometimes a confusion between physical masculine and feminine qualities, and more subtle qualities within a person. All of which do not need labels, but I suppose for understanding, many qualities have been labeled. I mean - how some persons are just more Yin or Yang seeming. But beyond all of this, the basis of a person finding themselves, and being themselves is at the core of what is most important. 

Hmm. I suppose skycloud86, you usually deliver a world of knowledge in one thought? Curious, did you say your statement with more meaning behind it other than what it says? I can understand too if your statement was not meant to be more dimensional, but I see more when I read it.


----------



## skycloud86

Female INFJ said:


> I felt this response to be very spiritual in nature. I think there is sometimes a confusion between physical masculine and feminine qualities, and more subtle qualities within a person. All of which do not need labels, but I suppose for understanding, many qualities have been labeled. I mean - how some persons are just more Yin or Yang seeming. But beyond all of this, the basis of a person finding themselves, and being themselves is at the core of what is most important.
> 
> Hmm. I suppose skycloud86, you usually deliver a world of knowledge in one thought? Curious, did you say your statement with more meaning behind it other than what it says? I can understand too if your statement was not meant to be more dimensional, but I see more when I read it.


I suppose there could be more meaning behind it, as people are a complex mixture of many factors and qualities.


----------



## Jennywocky

android654 said:


> Remove "Burping, farting, having body odor, not shaving" and she sounds almost perfect.


Crud, my detail-challenged-ness strikes again... when I mentioned earlier that criticism as potentially one that applies to me, I feel the need to point out it was more the INTP-masculine aspects (and enjoying video games, comics, and other supposedly "masculine" pursuits) rather than any masculine traits related to gaseous explusions from myriad orifices or physical self-care.

... not that there is anything wrong with that, I guess. :wink:


----------



## android654

Jennywocky said:


> Crud, my detail-challenged-ness strikes again... when I mentioned earlier that criticism as potentially one that applies to me, I feel the need to point out it was more the INTP-masculine aspects (and enjoying video games, comics, and other supposedly "masculine" pursuits) rather than any masculine traits related to gaseous explusions from myriad orifices or physical self-care.
> 
> ... not that there is anything wrong with that, I guess. :wink:


I just happen to be a neat freak and a bit of a germaphobe, so hygiene is really important to me.

I've been told that me liking that type of girl would inevitably lead me to hitting on lesbians which would end up in a hilarious situation. They might be right, but how could you not find that type of demeanor attractive?


----------



## Jennywocky

android654 said:


> I've been told that me liking that type of girl would inevitably lead me to hitting on lesbians which would end up in a hilarious situation. They might be right, but how could you not find that type of demeanor attractive?


Lol... i am at work, so all my pics are turned off, but I can see the filename.

Yes, even with me not being lesbian, Michelle Rodriguez just exudes turn-on. There's something very strong, yet still feminine, about her. I don't think she ever loses her femininity, even while being tough.

(I think I'm typically attracted to people who are a gendered blend -- I like strong guys who still have some sensitivity.)


----------



## android654

Jennywocky said:


> Lol... i am at work, so all my pics are turned off, but I can see the filename.
> 
> Yes, even with me not being lesbian, Michelle Rodriguez just exudes turn-on. There's something very strong, yet still feminine, about her. I don't think she ever loses her femininity, even while being tough.
> 
> (I think I'm typically attracted to people who are a gendered blend -- I like strong guys who still have some sensitivity.)



One of my favorite shots of her, you've probably seen it before, but wouldn't hurt to have a look once you get home.


----------



## Donkey D Kong

Too nice? Too shy?

But... I love those things


----------



## android654

Axe said:


> Too nice? Too shy?


I'm not too fond of those qualities. I usually find someone who is too nice and too shy to be naive or immature.


----------



## shadowofambivalence

Reason 2: You're A Party Girl.


If your life only consists of partying hard every night and sleeping in during the day, no doubt that guys would steer clear of having any serious commitments with you. Being the obnoxious drunk girl would only get you in bed and the guy "mysteriously" disappearing when morning arrives.

not really much of a party girl, but im always busy with somthing weather its in my own mind or outside my mind

Reason 4: You're Too Picky.


Your perfect guy: Athletic, super-genius, has the artistic talents of Picasso, as handsome as Brad Pitt, and has more money than God. Realize that nobody will ever be perfect, and that you need to take in the guy's flaws as well as his good points. Chill!

I admit im on the idealistic side when it comes to romance, but i usally try to get to know a person a bit more


Reason 7: You're Mentally Unstable.


Whether you're just mildly depressed, or severely schizophrenic with a sociopathic personality... Your mental illness will frustrate and may even scare men away, even if they do love you to bits. Solution? Go get professional help before you can even THINK about dating again. You deserve to be happy and healthy... And your relationships will turn COMPLETELY better for everyone involved.

This is a very much true, mostly because i have aspergers syndrome, and most guys steer clear of me becasue of it. Im also a bit on the hyper/passionate/obsessive side whitch can overwhelm some men, and my signifficant lack of empthathy and social cluelessness can put me on the same paralell as a sociopath(a wide gap) somehow closely intersecting with a schizoid


Reason 9: You're Too Fast To Get Into Bed With.


Ain't nothing wrong with being proud of your body and sexuality... However, it is been said for so long that in the dating world, getting in bed with a man before the 3rd date and beyond will strip away all the mystery, and the guy losing interest. It sucks, but learn to be a little patient, and focus on your guy instead of his schling-schlong; THAT comes later, and the anticipation will be worth it in the end, promise!

I have a lot of pent up sexual frustration and sometimes i use men to take it out on but its usally a one night stand sort of thing, its meaningless fun that i try not to do too often becasue of the risks and i havent complealty gave up on looking for somebody worth while

Reason 10: You're Too Nice.


Yes! Even women can be "the nice guy"! Remember that while being laid-back, sweet and giving are some great traits that men can find in a woman, it's also okay to think for yourself and to say "No" every once in a while to your guy... He is not your whole world, and growing a little back bone can make you even MORE attractive in his eyes.

I have been guilty of this, becasue of being high on the love emotion, but i have broken this habbit because i have to remind myself to think what i am doing is nessisary weather im high on emotion or not, becasue im usally not very emotional. 


Reason 13: You're Too... Male.


Listen, there's nothing wrong with pursuing sports or video games. Heck, there's nothing wrong with having fun and getting down and dirty... However, being exactly the same as his male friend replica is just asking for getting invited to the dreaded "friendzone". Ever heard of guys describing one of their female friends, who happens to wrestle buff men for fun, as "the sister they never had"? Yeah, it ain't pretty! Remember to get in touch with your feminine side as well! Burping, farting, having body odor, not shaving, and dressing like a dude is just too much for a heterosexual guy to handle.

My ex boyfreind had some freinds that would joke around about me being sombody's little brother. Most guys see me as another guy mostly becasue my personaltiy despite my feminine looks


Reason 15: You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.


Your man has a life, and you need to focus on yours! Get some new friends, get a job, or pursue some interesting hobbies. In the same token, remember to spend some time with your significant other; Your friends/job/hobbies/etc can't take up ALL of your time, unless you enjoy being a busy, SINGLE lady!

im usally the distant type, but i have been overly affectionate and confused men becasue of it


Reason 17: You're Abusive.


It is NEVER okay to hit a man. Ever. Domestic violence is very serious, and your man should never be your personal punching bag for all the issues that you possess.

I have a potential of this, becasue i have gotten close to beating up one of my ex boyfreinds. I have a higher potential of it becasue of my increased anger issues from crap i been through and i may not even physically harm them but very likley do verbal and emtional/mental harm


----------



## FXGZ

This is gonna sound harsh, how about: "You are too ugly" lol.


----------



## jazzyangel43

Really??? that's more than just harsh... that's just plain mean. I can't quite figure out who you were responding to... but whoever it was "IGNORE HIS POST" LOL....The only ugly people in the world are those that can't find the beauty in others. SORRY. But that's reality!


FXGZ said:


> This is gonna sound harsh, how about: "You are too ugly" lol.


----------



## Hiccups24-7

Romascu said:


> I didn't ask you now, did i, dear whale?


I never said you did?


----------



## Tobias Andre Andersen

I generally tend to avoid these kinds of "requirements" since I feel that if a woman just acted upon their personality, they would be much more attractive in my eyes.


----------



## Romascu

Hiccups24-7 said:


> I never said you did?





> *iz the fucked up* ... but not interested.


You said not interested, when i didn't asked anyone for anything , except existence.


----------



## Hiccups24-7

well soooorrrrrrrry for speaking to you without your request. 

PS don't take life so serriiouusssllllyyy yo.


----------



## Romascu

Hiccups24-7 said:


> well soooorrrrrrrry for speaking to you without your request.
> 
> PS don't take life so serriiouusssllllyyy yo.


You tried to insult me, by rejecting me, and i didn't even ask, you passive aggressive cunt.


----------



## Hiccups24-7

nah not really I was making a joke, I mean I called myself fucked up hello?

but ok ....

Reason _whatever number we're up to_ for still being single: ^^^^^^^^


----------



## wisdom

I have a pet peeve that happens to explain why some women are single:
Very little effort to look sexy. Some women are sexy in how they carry themselves. Some aren't. The ones who aren't need compensate with appearance. Unless it happens automatically (natural, undisguised prettiness). I've come across too many decent-looking introverted, single, heterosexual women who are a mix of scared and clueless when it comes looking good to men. Eyeliner, lipstick, a sophisticated hairstyle, some curves - those kinds of things. It can be done without looking 'cheap,' and it can be just for special occasions. Male pursuit almost always requires sexual attraction.


----------



## skycloud86

wisdom said:


> I have a pet peeve that happens to explain why some women are single:
> Very little effort to look sexy. Some women are sexy in how they carry themselves. Some aren't. The ones who aren't need compensate with appearance. Unless it happens automatically (natural, undisguised prettiness). I've come across too many decent-looking introverted, single, heterosexual women who are a mix of scared and clueless when it comes looking good to men. Eyeliner, lipstick, a sophisticated hairstyle, some curves - those kinds of things. It can be done without looking 'cheap,' and it can be just for special occasions. Male pursuit almost always requires sexual attraction.


So, you agree with society that women should try to fit into the male idea of what an attractive woman should be?


----------



## wisdom

That's what always happens. Like it's about oppression. People should dress to reflect who they are. But if they want to make a good impression on others, they need to pay at least lip service to what others like. And women who seem basically sexless but aren't = not an honest reflection.


----------



## Hiccups24-7

I have no interest in guys that rate me on my body or how much make-up I wear uugghhhh. The real me is on the inside, any guy that isn't willing to dig a little deeper is too superficial for moi.


----------



## ficsci

Oh crap we forgot one
*#21: you're addicted to the internet*

(.____.)


----------



## wisdom

Guys rarely rate women on wearing makeup unless it's worn badly.

If women want men to desire them sexually within a relationship, it's much more likely to happen if the sexuality is tastefully broadcast to the right person or persons while single.


----------



## William I am

Wow, this is pretty much perfect. 
#15 is touchy for me. I never know how much of each I want. The too-distant is definitely a turnoff. Still figuring out the too-clingy one.

Now, the hard part: Getting people to listen to these beyond their knee-jerk denial.


----------



## Lauren Wolfe

Quite a few of those describe huge traits of INFP. That sucks. I'm single because I'm Me.


----------



## Lauren Wolfe

OctoberSkye said:


> I agree with all of these except #9. It takes two to tango and it's bullshit to stigmatize the woman when the man wanted it just as much or more. #18 isn't always a bad thing, either.


I agree. Men are known more than women to just bed down whenever or where ever yet WE are the ones at fault? That's honestly NOT okay. It's one of the biggest reasons I don't trust men. It's just the stupid ish but it's not his fault?

Also, I feel most men have ulterior motives. I just have a really hard time trusting them but I think that's just something I have to deal with on my own. And for the record, I'm well aware that women do much of the same things but there is a reason men are known for stupid stuff like that.


----------



## Lauren Wolfe

Female INFJ said:


> I'm human..........I have average intelligence, average appearance. I don't care to change myself to suit a man. They aren't interested in me. I have just learned to accept this. And now that I'm free. I feel better
> 
> I find men have these ideals that they chase. And I don't fit into that. I've been told that guys like me, they don't initiate. I don't care to initiate anymore. Why have the headache of a relationship. When I can be by myself, and not have to answer to anyone.
> 
> Most of the guys I like are too good for me anyhow. Why would they pick me, when there is likely a dozen more attractive versions of me? The whole process of finding someone doesn't appeal to me anymore. Thus I remain single, likely forever! And I don't care anymore.
> 
> It is basic SATC -- if you read the ACTUAL BOOK. Most men kind of use average woman along the way, until they find 'the one'. Except they have this trick, they don't tell you that you aren't 'the one' while they are doing this. They just keep up their roaming eyes.
> 
> So do I settle for always being second? Or do I kind of just stop the situation before it starts. Now getting older, they say men are different. But to be honest, it just feels like a slew of men that are ready to 'settle' as they women they had wanted, went away somewhere. Yay! to be a 'settle' [sarcasm]. It's what I've always wanted.
> 
> I just felt like writing to finally be free of this: 'looking for love'. And focus on being happy on my own. I am grateful that I have this choice. In many countries, women have to get married, and don't have this choice to be independent.
> 
> I just engage in romantic affairs to spice up my otherwise boring world. But I let them pass, because I know it is not real. No one is real anymore.
> 
> I will write later in response to #1-20. Thanks KrystRay for bringing back this Thread. This is actually a topic I feel like talking about.......I just didn't get around to posting. Your advice to ForsakenMe was nice. Good to see girls supporting each other and bringing each other up.
> 
> I would never discourage another on love, as I am discouraged. I keep my feelings to myself. I just felt like sharing where I am at right now. I wish good luck to any girl who 'does not' want to be single. And certainly, I talk to lots of guys and girls about relationships, so many would not assume my own life is so dismal! tee hee
> 
> Because the pressures around to 'not be' this single are up high. Often girls sell themselves short, to meet that end of 'having someone'. Just be in relationships for the right reasons, is what I mean, girls.


The other pea in my pod, you are.


----------



## Istbkleta

Facepalm*

That's ...


----------



## Fleetfoot

New Reason: I stopped giving a damn. XD


----------



## AMomstruth Opened

Lauren, thank you for posting that. It helps no matter what situation you are in romantically that it is okay to stop trying to conform to what other people want you to be. {{{HUGS}}}


----------



## sonicdrink

Well, most men just don't understand that I'm eccentric and not mentally unstable. They weren't meant for me anyway. Oops, too picky.


----------



## Magenta

Female INFJ said:


> I'm human..........I have average intelligence, average appearance. I don't care to change myself to suit a man. They aren't interested in me. I have just learned to accept this. And now that I'm free. I feel better
> 
> I find *men have these ideals that they chase. And I don't fit into that*. I've been told that guys like me, they don't initiate. I don't care to initiate anymore. Why have the headache of a relationship. When I can be by myself, and not have to answer to anyone.
> 
> Most of the guys I like are too good for me anyhow. Why would they pick me, when there is likely a dozen more attractive versions of me? The whole process of finding someone doesn't appeal to me anymore. Thus I remain single, likely forever! And I don't care anymore.
> 
> It is basic SATC -- if you read the ACTUAL BOOK. *Most men kind of use average woman along the way, until they find 'the one'. Except they have this trick, they don't tell you that you aren't 'the one' while they are doing this*. They just keep up their roaming eyes.
> 
> So do I settle for always being second? Or do I kind of just stop the situation before it starts. Now getting older, they say men are different. But to be honest, it just feels like a slew of men that are ready to 'settle' as they women they had wanted, went away somewhere. Yay! to be a 'settle' [sarcasm]. It's what I've always wanted.
> 
> I just felt like writing to finally be free of this: 'looking for love'. And focus on being happy on my own. I am grateful that I have this choice. In many countries, women have to get married, and don't have this choice to be independent.
> *
> I just engage in romantic affairs to spice up my otherwise boring world. But I let them pass, because I know it is not real*. No one is real anymore.
> 
> I will write later in response to #1-20. Thanks KrystRay for bringing back this Thread. This is actually a topic I feel like talking about.......I just didn't get around to posting. Your advice to ForsakenMe was nice. Good to see girls supporting each other and bringing each other up.
> 
> I would never discourage another on love, as I am discouraged. I keep my feelings to myself. I just felt like sharing where I am at right now. I wish good luck to any girl who 'does not' want to be single. And certainly, I talk to lots of guys and girls about relationships, so many would not assume my own life is so dismal! tee hee
> 
> Because the pressures around to 'not be' this single are up high. Often girls sell themselves short, to meet that end of 'having someone'. Just be in relationships for the right reasons, is what I mean, girls.


Me to a tee. The bolded bits especially resonated with me. Basically, there's something wrong with me AND men suck LOL. Now I just need to work on being okay with being alone for the rest of my life. Don't get me wrong, I like my own company, but sometimes it would be nice to not be alone. Just the other week, I ran into an old friend who I haven't seen in about ten years. He told me how he'd always liked me, wanted to take me out, we kissed - Now, I do NOT do public displays of affection EVER, and now I daren't show my face - but I thought, y'know, this guy could be worth releasing my rigid self-control for, and I've known him since I was a teenager, so he's not going to spin me a line. Well, guess what, he spun me a line, the date didn't materialise, and I stupidly texted him and he didn't even apologise, just said he'd had a busy week. Um, that would be TWO weeks, ****head. So, now I'm just mad at myself for being weak and falling for the same old crap men have always told me. Which is why I believe there must be something wrong with my cognition. As for most men in my city, they hate me. When I'm elsewhere, some men find me attractive, but not here. That's probably why I was blind to the fact this guy was full of it. I thought "Well, he's known me for ages, so he's not going to pretend to find me attractive if he doesn't." Pfff. I need a shrink and a drink, 'cause people wear me out.


----------



## Feeding A Mood

Nice thread! I've actually dated girls with these traits. Obviously the dating didn't last long.


----------



## turtleducks

This article is kind of (really, very) sexist and I am kind of bothered that it is stickied. 

(I didn't read the entire thread but I'm sure someone already said something along those lines. Whatever.)


----------



## ForsakenMe

People are still replying to this thread...


----------



## Tobias Andre Andersen

What a sad, sad world we live in -_-'

Grow up...


----------



## Empecinado

Lauren Wolfe said:


> I agree. Men are known more than women to just bed down whenever or where ever yet WE are the ones at fault? That's honestly NOT okay. It's one of the biggest reasons I don't trust men. It's just the stupid ish but it's not his fault?
> 
> Also, I feel most men have ulterior motives. I just have a really hard time trusting them but I think that's just something I have to deal with on my own. And for the record, I'm well aware that women do much of the same things but there is a reason men are known for stupid stuff like that.


I think that having ulterior motives are intrinsic to humans, rather than guys specifically. I don't think there's anything wrong with women having sex because they're just appealing to reproductive instincts. There's a taboo with regards women sleeping around because a two hundred years ago or so it would cause them to produce unsupportable children, in a time where there were no functional contraception.


----------



## the3rdpower

ForsakenMe said:


> LOL, it's the "20 reasons why you're still single men", it's stickied and everything.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Dude, this picture is just wrong but strangely sensual... Agh, what is wrong with meeee! :crazy:


You are an INFJ and Patrick is an ENTP... know the signs. You are a lover of sickness.


----------



## anotherjenny

Huh... I have none of these traits and I just got back from an awesome date.

Yay!


----------



## ForsakenMe

the3rdpower said:


> You are an INFJ and Patrick is an ENTP... know the signs. You are a lover of sickness.


Impossible. He HAS to be an ENTJ. He's always planning ahead with all of his killings and shit. Very precise and careful.


----------



## MCRTS

Being single is fun. Who needs romance?


----------



## the3rdpower

ForsakenMe said:


> Impossible. He HAS to be an ENTJ. He's always planning ahead with all of his killings and shit. Very precise and careful.


Meh... INTJ...


----------



## Mutatio NOmenis

the3rdpower said:


> Meh... INTJ...












You mean this guy?


----------



## Shield of Light

turtleducks said:


> This article is kind of (really, very) sexist and I am kind of bothered that it is stickied.
> 
> (I didn't read the entire thread but I'm sure someone already said something along those lines. Whatever.)


Wouldn't that conversely mean that the one about men is also just as sexist?


----------



## Bellsouth

Great post. Both males and females are too picky and have been conditioned to think they deserve the best. UNless you are in great shape, who said you are getting people from covers of fitness magazines, unless you are intelligent, who said you are getting someone who is, unless you are fun, who said you deserve to have an exciting partner? 

work on yourself and you will get what you kind of are...


It took me about 10 years, but it is so worth it.


----------



## ayu

ForsakenMe said:


> *Reason 4: You're Too Picky.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Your perfect guy: Athletic, super-genius, has the artistic talents of Picasso, as handsome as Brad Pitt, and has more money than God. Realize that nobody will ever be perfect, and that you need to take in the guy's flaws as well as his good points. Chill!_
> 
> *Reason 13: You're Too... Male.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Listen, there's nothing wrong with pursuing sports or video games. Heck, there's nothing wrong with having fun and getting down and dirty... However, being exactly the same as his male friend replica is just asking for getting invited to the dreaded "friendzone". Ever heard of guys describing one of their female friends, who happens to wrestle buff men for fun, as "the sister they never had"? Yeah, it ain't pretty! Remember to get in touch with your feminine side as well! Burping, farting, having body odor, not shaving, and dressing like a dude is just too much for a heterosexual guy to handle._


Ok. I think those are the correct reasons for me.

*I'm Too Picky*

Being picky is good. But I'm bringing it to the next level by adding the "too" word in it.
Personally, I could accept his good and bad points. But most of them are not too
eager to accept my bad points. Nuff said.

*I'm Too... Male?!*

People called me tomboy... sometimes. But that was about 10 years ago.
I wish I could be like Angelina Jolie, though. She has the right proportion of
male and female in herself that makes her so damn strong and sexy.
I'm jealous.


----------



## ayu

turtleducks said:


> This article is kind of (really, very) sexist and I am kind of bothered that it is stickied.
> 
> (I didn't read the entire thread but I'm sure someone already said something along those lines. Whatever.)


Sexist? Which part?

You're only have to change the gender and fix some words in it, then you
could use the first post for a guy too.


----------



## oso

Why ever not .. '20 reasons why you're *still* in a relationship?*'*

Is being single really considered the least acceptible/ more negative of the two??

Well anyhow, i'm single (not 'still' single, simply single) and reasons aren't any of those stated on the first page of this thread.

Unless, of course .. this is meant to be a joke .. :laughing:


----------



## twoofthree

sounds like a load of bollocks to me


----------



## NaughyChimp

Filo said:


> Wait until you are well past 30.


 Is anyone on this thread over 30?


----------



## Themis_

*Reason 5: You Have A Bad Attitude.*
*Reason 7: You're Mentally Unstable.*
*Reason 10: You're Too Nice.*
*Reason 15: You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.*
*Reason 18: You're Too Shy.*


People think I have a bad attitude, and that I'm always scowling etc. So this one isn't actually true about me, it's just my face...

Yeah.

I'm not really nice per se but I have a hard time saying no(not in a sexual way, that is not what I'm getting at) I accidentally lead guys on sometimes, say yes to hanging out and laugh and smile and stuff when I don't like them. 

I love space. Distant.

I don't talk to guys.

*Biggest reason of all : I want to be single.*


----------



## armika_armika

And by the way, now I can see *why my last date completely ignores me now *:´( gah I'm gonna cry....

I make an *excellent example* on the "why I'm still single" -theme:

-I told him that I love to party (but I seldom do party actually, but that, I didnt tell him)
-I have always been like the happy clown among my friends
-I told him about my fathers drinking issue and my sisters mental health (which is bad)
-I told him I take medicine for severe PMS, and that it has happened that I throw plates
-I also had sex with him on first date
-I told him that last time I slept with someone was two weeks ago (he asked and I was honest)
-I told him about my maniac ex who is still trying to make my life difficult
-I am a single mother (this I cannot do so much about actually, and I have no regrets)
-I normally appear to be more stupid than I am (for f***s sake, I passed the exams to med school and I will soon be a doctor, I'm not completely brainless)
-I told him I can't handle money

Actually I didnt hide or smothered up anything that is "bad" in my life or personality. I rather threwed it at him. Because I'm a very honest person. Although, I see, that it gives a very bad impression. Especially since I do not talk about my good qualities so much at all. I think it takes some time to get to know me, to know what I'm all about. I'm sucha loving and caring girlfriend, and faithful...

This sucks! Well, at least I can comfort myself with, that I'm probably being dismissed for my bad sides, not my good (which he hasnt yet seen). But it hurts so much. In bed too, I'm normally more like "godess of sex", ok exaggerating a little but the point is, with him, I liked him so much, so I was nervous... which made me not so much of a sex godess actually. Although I think it was great great sex anyway... But apparently not good enough for him to want to do it again *crying*

F***, will I ever find love? I hate playing games, I hate pretending to be someone I'm not, although, sure I would benefit from not giving it all out like a maniac...
Whish me luck!


----------



## Danielsearch

armika_armika said:


> And by the way, now I can see *why my last date completely ignores me now *:´( gah I'm gonna cry....
> 
> I make an *excellent example* on the "why I'm still single" -theme:
> 
> -I told him that I love to party (but I seldom do party actually, but that, I didnt tell him)
> -I have always been like the happy clown among my friends
> -I told him about my fathers drinking issue and my sisters mental health (which is bad)
> -I told him I take medicine for severe PMS, and that it has happened that I throw plates
> -I also had sex with him on first date
> -I told him that last time I slept with someone was two weeks ago (he asked and I was honest)
> -I told him about my maniac ex who is still trying to make my life difficult
> -I am a single mother (this I cannot do so much about actually, and I have no regrets)
> -I normally appear to be more stupid than I am (for f***s sake, I passed the exams to med school and I will soon be a doctor, I'm not completely brainless)
> -I told him I can't handle money


It's so fun to see such matter of fact tell it like it is women. =)


----------



## Princessportent

I know why I am still single. 

I am asexual.

Don't laugh. XD 

The sad part is I am hetero romantic. I know I could, potentially, fall in love. I can experience romantic feelings for guys. I just do not do so easily. I need to know someone for a long time and love them as a friend first. And let's face it: I would be unlikely to date someone without knowing if they, too, were also asexual, because if they weren't....well.... I'd either be uncomfortable or else I'd feel guilty for not giving my partner something they might need. 

I think I could be a pretty good girlfriend, otherwise though  I am loyal, but not clingy. I also appreciate eccentricity and quirkiness and the most important thing to me is that a soul mate has a good, kind heart. 

Alas.... XD


----------



## JC22

ForsakenMe said:


> *Reason 1: You're Too "Fun".*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Everybody likes a funny lady... However, there is such thing as being too funny. If you don't take life or yourself seriously at all, how will you expect for men to take YOU seriously at all? You can crack jocks from time to time, but when the situation calls for being serious, lay away the Dane Cook jokes for a while._


I _*like*_ this!^ And I don't lose respect for girls that are always funny/silly. The fact that she is always chin-up is very attractive.




ForsakenMe said:


> *Reason 10: You're Too Nice.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Yes! Even women can be "the nice guy"! Remember that while being laid-back, sweet and giving are some great traits that men can find in a woman, it's also okay to think for yourself and to say "No" every once in a while to your guy... He is not your whole world, and growing a little back bone can make you even MORE attractive in his eyes._


What!? How can someone be "too nice"? Super nice is defiantly a *BIG* plus in my book! 




ForsakenMe said:


> *Reason 13: You're Too... Male.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Listen, there's nothing wrong with pursuing sports or video games. Heck, there's nothing wrong with having fun and getting down and dirty... However, being exactly the same as his male friend replica is just asking for getting invited to the dreaded "friendzone". Ever heard of guys describing one of their female friends, who happens to wrestle buff men for fun, as "the sister they never had"? Yeah, it ain't pretty! Remember to get in touch with your feminine side as well! Burping, farting, having body odor, not shaving, and dressing like a dude is just too much for a heterosexual guy to handle._



Not a problem. Just as long as she her beard isn't longer than mine! ;p




ForsakenMe said:


> *Reason 15: You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Your man has a life, and you need to focus on yours! Get some new friends, get a job, or pursue some interesting hobbies. In the same token, remember to spend some time with your significant other; Your friends/job/hobbies/etc can't take up ALL of your time, unless you enjoy being a busy, SINGLE lady!_



^As long as she doesn't get me into trouble with my boss at work, I don't mind the phone calls/texts/extra time.





ForsakenMe said:


> *Reason 18: You're Too Shy.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Men aren't always the initiator to everything, so sometimes, you're going to have to buck up and ask him out first! Confidence is sexy, and men will appreciate you making the first move; It's a breath of fresh air!_



Shy ENFP's/introverts FTW! :tongue:


----------



## The Proof

ForsakenMe said:


> *Reason 4: You're Too Picky.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Your perfect guy: Athletic, super-genius, has the artistic talents of Picasso, as handsome as Brad Pitt, and has more money than God. Realize that nobody will ever be perfect, and that you need to take in the guy's flaws as well as his good points. Chill!_


this has INFJ girl written all over it


----------



## wisdom

Accurate, if a woman is attracting only mediocrity or worse.
Dating Market Value Test For Women « Chateau Heartiste


----------



## ForsakenMe

wisdom said:


> Accurate, if a woman is attracting only mediocrity or worse.
> Dating Market Value Test For Women « Chateau Heartiste


That test is kind of stupid, honestly. It seems biased, as the creator who prefers D cups over the others, while I've known men who liked bigger ones, and even smaller ones!


----------



## wisdom

Don't dismiss it based on one item. C probably is the more common preference, not much of a difference there.


----------



## ForsakenMe

wisdom said:


> Don't dismiss it based on one item. C probably is the more common preference, not much of a difference there.


It is also downright cruel to women over the age of 20. What, so once I turn 21, I automatically lose points? That's bull. It looks like a test for the insecure and the extremely shallow people. No thank you.


----------



## wisdom

That's probably inaccurate. I think, to the typical man, there's probably no difference in 'value' between a woman of 20 and a woman of 30. Much else about the test could be called "cruel" - and also true. People are superficial. Adapt to it (if reasonably possible), or have low personal expectations.


----------



## Jennywocky

wisdom said:


> Accurate, if a woman is attracting only mediocrity or worse.
> Dating Market Value Test For Women « Chateau Heartiste


Wow. I'm a classic beta. Thanks for the egoboost. :crazy:


----------



## Zegaray

Reasons 4, 10, 18 are me. I need to stop being picky with guys that approach me.


----------



## firedell

My answer is, because I am too lazy to find anyone. xD


----------



## Monte

wisdom said:


> Accurate, if a woman is attracting only mediocrity or worse.
> Dating Market Value Test For Women « Chateau Heartiste


While I don't necessarily believe in these tests because as Forsaken said, they're completely biased... I still got an ego boost.

*56 to 63: Guys want you, girls want to be you. You are just short of perfection, which paradoxically means you will get hit on more than the super alpha females. You are a player’s greatest challenge, and his greatest reward, because unlike the perfect woman there is still something human about you. Sex, love, security, commitment, easy living… you have it all. Only your demons can defeat you.*

:B


----------



## Fleetfoot

Monte said:


> While I don't necessarily believe in these tests because as Forsaken said, they're completely biased... I still got an ego boost.
> 
> *56 to 63: Guys want you, girls want to be you. You are just short of perfection, which paradoxically means you will get hit on more than the super alpha females. You are a player’s greatest challenge, and his greatest reward, because unlike the perfect woman there is still something human about you. Sex, love, security, commitment, easy living… you have it all. Only your demons can defeat you.*
> 
> :B


I like how it sounds like it is describing a first place ribbon or something.


----------



## Shale

This would explain why every man I dated wanted to get married.


----------



## MyName

wisdom said:


> Accurate, if a woman is attracting only mediocrity or worse.
> Dating Market Value Test For Women « Chateau Heartiste


Just for fun, I went through the test answering questions the way my "ideal woman" would, and ended up with just a 25. Hmmmmmmmm...........


----------



## cshp_iu

Wouldn't it be more productive to focus on just being ourselves instead of worrying if we do "too much" of something? While lists like this can be fun, I feel that they shouldn't be taken too seriously - just keep being who you are and do what makes you comfortable and you'll attract the right person for you.


----------



## blueandviolet

I'm sorry, I guess I feel like the original post is a little bit sexist (even if posted by a female.) Let's face it- all of these things mentioned are unlikely to be easily changed: "oh, I'm mentally unstable! dammit! i can fix that..." or "darn, let me find new, less-bitchy friends." 
All of these suggested "reasons women are single" are flaws that anyone may have. And they aren't necessarily easy to change. I really didn't like the movie "He's Just Not That Into You." And along the same vein, women shouldn't be focusing on how to be likable, but how to improve and feel more self worth.


----------



## ForsakenMe

fivendime said:


> I'm sorry, I guess I feel like the original post is a little bit sexist (even if posted by a female.) Let's face it- all of these things mentioned are unlikely to be easily changed: "oh, I'm mentally unstable! dammit! i can fix that..." or "darn, let me find new, less-bitchy friends."
> All of these suggested "reasons women are single" are flaws that anyone may have. And they aren't necessarily easy to change. I really didn't like the movie "He's Just Not That Into You." And along the same vein, women shouldn't be focusing on how to be likable, but how to improve and feel more self worth.


Sexism would be more like me writing "If you aren't in the kitchen, how will you ever gain the attention of a worthy man?" Doesn't get any more sexist than that. 

Honestly, my list can also be helpful for men if they reverse the gender in my list. Mental instability can cause chaos in a relationship, and not even love alone can help it. Sometimes, you need to get healthy or else your relationship with other people will crumble. It's only common sense.

The friends thing... Well, if a man has douchebag friends, no doubt you would want anything to do with him. I like how everyone laughs along in the other thread (The one against men) but once someone brings up what a woman can do for the betterment of herself and her relationships... it's sexist? No offense, but do you even know what that word means?

Nobody is perfect. My list is more of a humor thing than something that can be taken seriously. However, judging by all the emotionally-charged posts about it, I feel that it has strucken some major chords in you guys... and I can't help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, you might be making things difficult for yourselves in the dating world? (NOT POINTING FINGERS... Just asking as politely as possible.)

No man wants a perfect woman, just like no woman wants the perfect man, because perfection doesn't exist. However, striving to become the best version you can be of yourself is the next great thing to be, and it's attainable if you work at it.

Just sayin'!


----------



## MyName

ForsakenMe said:


> I like how everyone laughs along in the other thread (The one against men) but once someone brings up what a woman can do for the betterment of herself and her relationships... it's sexist?


I pointed this out in either this thread ot the other, I don't remember which. It's silly. It's like some people think that women should be collectiely immune from any criticism (even though it's fine to talk about "men's problems" all day long) or that in any breakdown in gender relations, no share of the blame can be placed on a woman in any circumstances.


----------



## vt1099ace

Anybody look over to the guys 'reasons your still single' thread and look at any corolations between the two? 
Maybe there are some _common_ reasons both share without realising they do...and we can discuss them?


----------



## blueandviolet

Yes, this is fine, it can be humor, sure. But sexism is not confined to degrading comments about women in the kitchen. I was simply pointing out that these "reasons" are all stereotypes about women, that frankly, I rarely see among my circle of acquaintances. Nobody said that women should be "protected from criticism". But stereotypes are so rampant (that women are unstable, clingy, needy etc) I just prefer to point out when we're reinforcing them. The fact that one of these is posted about men is beside the point. I understand that they are both "jokes", I'm just a feelings type myself, so when I read something that is intended as advice, but doesn't correlate with my reality- it irks me. That's all.


----------



## ForsakenMe

fivendime said:


> Yes, this is fine, it can be humor, sure. But sexism is not confined to degrading comments about women in the kitchen. I was simply pointing out that these "reasons" are all stereotypes about women, that frankly, I rarely see among my circle of acquaintances. Nobody said that women should be "protected from criticism". But stereotypes are so rampant (that women are unstable, clingy, needy etc) I just prefer to point out when we're reinforcing them. The fact that one of these is posted about men is beside the point. I understand that they are both "jokes", I'm just a feelings type myself, so when I read something that is intended as advice, but doesn't correlate with my reality- it irks me. That's all.


By your logic (I'm saying this nicely by the way) the other thread that was geared towards the single men is also sexist. That thread says that "All men are douchebags, all men are slobs, all men are too nice and too weak, they're too selfish and dirty, etc."

Not all women are overemotional and clingy, you're right. This thread is for those who might need to check on how clingy they might be to other people. _Even men can be clingy and desperate too._ Let me admit this: I was a clingy girl, but after having made this thread, I opened my own eyes on how my behavior is seen as unattractive to not just men, but to people in general who would like to be my friend. I hope you can understand this.

And I feel that you're still stuck on the whole "mentally unstable" thing that society likes to put on us as women. Pfft, you know something? I know "unstable" when I see it, and it's not the woman who is on her period. It is the woman who is about to kill her children, it is the woman who cries and cries and cries and is planning to kill herself. What my list is KINDLY telling the reader is this: If you're having some problems in your life because of how your mind is functioning, you need help. This isn't even about dating or impressing men anymore; your health is on the line. I can tell this very same advice to other men who suffer from mental illnesses too. I have first hand experiences with people who have mental illnesses, and as much as I love(d) them and wanted to help, their illnesses created a shield that instead kept them from receiving help that they really need. I had a mentally unstable boyfriend who thought that hurting others was no big deal. You can probably guess what happened to us at the end of our relationship.

Too much of something is never good. This is something both men AND women need to learn if they want a better chance at creating a healthy relationship.


----------



## chip

I am still single because I choose immature morons to date. I never take my rose colored glasses off. That, or I'm just ugly and too sensitive. Either way.


----------



## Curiously

I'm single for now (1) for my health and (2) for my love of s-p-a-c-e.


----------



## Niccolo Machiavelli

I just got done looking at what a disaster the list for men was, now I'm checking out this one. Most of these aren't desirable traits, but the only two that I can see keeping you from getting a boyfriend would be 'You're a slob" and "You're too picky." A few comments on this list...

"You're a party girl!"
- Go out with a party guy.

"Your friends are complete bitches."
- While we may not like your friends, at all, we aren't going to say "Wow, this girl is absolutely perfect! Amazing in every way! But you know, her friends are bitches so I think I'm going to break up with her." NEVER GONNA HAPPEN! :laughing:

"You're too picky!"
- I'm not saying "Have no standards at all!" but be flexible with your standards.

"You have a bad attitude!"
- I don't like that, but some guys do.

"You're still in love with your ex."
- That's okay, as long as you hide that fact.

"You're mentally unstable."
- This is just not true. Generally speaking, it is true, but there are a LOT of exceptions. As evidence, there are countless support groups for people who have dated/married people with Borderline Personality Disorder. And some people are attracted to these qualities in a woman (or man, but that is a different topic). An extremely traditional kind of guy would love a woman with Dependent Personality Disorder, narcissists and borderlines come together like magnets, some nice guys like the "bad girls" who are actually sociopaths, etc.

"You're too flirty."
- That depends really. It probably won't stop you from getting a boyfriend, but it might prevent you from keeping one if he is really insecure.

*"You're too fast to get into bed with, 3 date rule, blah, blah, blah!"*
- I couldn't disagree with this advice more if I tried. Most guys aren't going to be like "OMG! :shocked: THAT SLUT BROKE THE 3 DATE RULE! :frustrating: SHUN HER! SHUN HER! :angry:" :laughing: And the reverse is true for me. Playing games, like having a "3 date rule" will result in me thinking that you're a mindless sheep very quickly. You don't want to play games with me, I'm better at this than you are. :wink: And any guy that has even an ounce of critical thinking skills will lose any respect he may have had for you by following this type of nonsensical advice. I'm not saying that you should meet a guy, rip your clothes off and then fuck him right then and there. But use your best judgement, not some dumbass "3 Date Rule."

"You're Too Nice!"
- I disagree with this one. I have a soft spot in my black little heart for really nice girls. :laughing: I like the naughty ones too though. 

"You have a jealous ex-lover."
- What are you advocating, that she should kill her jealous ex-lover? :laughing: This isn't her fault and there is nothing she can do about it.

"You are self destructive."
- Some guys like to "rescue" these types.

"You're too male."
- A lot of guys like "tomboys."

"You're high maintenance."
- Who do you usually hear complaining about this admittedly annoying trait? Oh yeah, her BOYFRIEND! :laughing:

"You're too clingy/too distant."
- Depends on the guy.

"You nag too much!"
- Annoying trait, yes. One that he will know about when entering into a relationship with you? Probably not.

"You're abusive."
- In order to abuse your significant other, first you have to HAVE a significant other.

"You're too shy."
- Some guys like that.

"You're a slob."
- DISGUSTING PICTURE! :frustrating: And I agree with this one.

"You pretend to be dumb."
- I think this is annoying, but dumb guys with large egos would probably like it. Though in fairness, I don't think this is nearly as common as you might think (Smart girls pretending to be airheads).




*TLDR/Uber-Executive Summary:* Nearly everything on this list will NOT prevent you from getting a boyfriend. It might prevent you from KEEPING a boyfriend, it might prevent you from getting married, but most of it won't keep you single.


----------



## SuperKillNinjaAssassin69

That's right, just a little more, spread those legs and let me in.


----------



## hello HELLO

Man, haters on this forum need to chill. Women and men. Use shit like this to your advantage, yo.

Why so serious all the time?


----------



## x__moonlight

well, no wonder i'm in the friendzone xD


----------



## Le Beau Coeur

In my opinion I'm too sensitive and I get hurt too easily. :-( On one hand it's nice because I am very romantic and warm but...on the other I'm just too emotionally soft. I wish I could be a tougher type of girl but...that's just not how things are. I suffer intensely when dealing with any kind of coldness or insensitivity from men it just hurts too much. But I do like men so much I wish I could be around them more.


----------



## chip

I don't know anymore tbh. I was just rejected by an Infj, sort of. Keeps happening. I don't think I'm good enough.


----------



## Wellsy

chip said:


> I don't know anymore tbh. I was just rejected by an Infj, sort of. Keeps happening. I don't think I'm good enough.


That's where you're wrong. You are GOOD enough.


----------



## chip

Wellsy said:


> That's where you're wrong. You are GOOD enough.


I could be a female with huge tentacles that kill people.


----------



## Wellsy

chip said:


> I could be a female with huge tentacles that kill people.


I'm sure could still find someone who's into that. There's some REALLY strange porn out there. 
They be like "mmmm So many tentacles" hahaha
Chin up chip. You're worth someones love, i'm certain of it


----------



## Fleetfoot

It's for certain, I am too immature, and just want to slut it up while I still can.


----------



## ParetoCaretheStare

im so sweet to women, but my automatic reaction to men looking at me is, "why the fuck are you looking at me, you dickwad", then they feel intimidated and look away and i feel bad and remain single because i am now a freak in their eyes. Women easily steal guys from me, and i let it happen like it's normal, even when my insides are bleeding green, envious passion.


----------



## chip

ParetoCaretheStare said:


> im so sweet to women, but my automatic reaction to men looking at me is, "why the fuck are you looking at me, you dickwad", then they feel intimidated and look away and i feel bad and remain single because i am now a freak in their eyes. Women easily steal guys from me, and i let it happen like it's normal, even when my insides are bleeding green, envious passion.


Me too. It's easy to steal men from me because I'm too shy and I don't speak up about it. If I did, it's when I explode after I keep it all inside for too long, after picturing how I would have gone about not letting it happen, kicking myself over and over.


----------



## Miss Keks

I guess I'm just too sensitive and get feelings like love and hate regarding men far too fast. Even when hanging out with lesbian women I feel comfortable, and gay men are nice too, but with heterosexual men I just have issues. The ones who want sex just scare me away and the ones who want friendship I can't get too close with or I'll start having feelings that are far too intense in comparison to what the friend feels. Then I feel miserable, and I only want to cut the guy out of my life, what makes me feel much more miserable because I want to be near him but get scared of this thought and when the guy hesitates I'm away from his sight before he can show any reaction.

And I just don't get it, why is my emotional self so overwhelmingly like that?  And why are men so silly and cannot behave like they should to make me happy? And I only think, this is so ridiculous of me, but that's just my life.


----------



## Solace in Silence

Miss Keks said:


> I guess I'm just too sensitive and get feelings like love and hate regarding men far too fast. Even when hanging out with lesbian women I feel comfortable, and gay men are nice too, but with heterosexual men I just have issues. The ones who want sex just scare me away and the ones who want friendship I can't get too close with or I'll start having feelings that are far too intense in comparison to what the friend feels. Then I feel miserable, and I only want to cut the guy out of my life, what makes me feel much more miserable because I want to be near him but get scared of this thought and when the guy hesitates I'm away from his sight before he can show any reaction.
> 
> And I just don't get it, why is my emotional self so overwhelmingly like that?  And why are men so silly and cannot behave like they should to make me happy? And I only think, this is so ridiculous of me, but that's just my life.


It seems that you're very passionate and that you'd fit with someone who would return that passion in the same way you give it. If you let your emotion show, a guy like that could bite, and I don't doubt you'd enter into a powerful romance quickly.

This is just based on your one post, so please disregard it if it seems off.


----------



## Miss Keks

Solace in Silence said:


> It seems that you're very passionate and that you'd fit with someone who would return that passion in the same way you give it. If you let your emotion show, a guy like that could bite, and I don't doubt you'd enter into a powerful romance quickly.
> 
> This is just based on your one post, so please disregard it if it seems off.


No, I think you're right with what you said. I'm a very deep and passionate person.

And now that I think of it with my ex some yrs ago it was exactly like what you described. Sadly I've never met anyone in this regard like him again. Therefore I've met this ESFJ I very like him but who've caused above emotions in me :/


----------



## Solace in Silence

Miss Keks said:


> No, I think you're right with what you said. I'm a very deep and passionate person.
> 
> And now that I think of it with my ex some yrs ago it was exactly like what you described. Sadly I've never met anyone in this regard like him again. Therefore I've met this ESFJ I very like him but who've caused above emotions in me :/


I think the type of person you're looking for is less common in current society, but they exist for sure. In fact, the rarity would make it feel special. The biggest mistake you could make is to give up hope, as it would drastically reduce chances of a beautiful and partly life-fulfilling romance from happening.


----------



## rambleonrose

Hiya! Not trying to put you down in anyway, and I think this had good intentions, and these things very well will drive some men away. But I feel as if this is telling people who share any similarities to these characteristics that they must change themselves to 'be happy' and to have someone love them.

I was just a little put off by the mental illness one the most because I have a good friend who has PTSD and I have witnessed her at multiple times at her worst, and I won't lie, I was terribly frightened. Not because of anything else other then her safety and happiness. People can't escape all of their problems sometimes, they just have to deal with them and cope. 

I think this is a humorous post I do! I just hope people won't take it too seriously and worry that there is nothing right with them or feel that just because they are a little different people won't love them.


----------



## ForsakenMe

keelysmith said:


> Hiya! Not trying to put you down in anyway, and I think this had good intentions, and these things very well will drive some men away. But I feel as if this is telling people who share any similarities to these characteristics that they must change themselves to 'be happy' and to have someone love them.
> 
> I was just a little put off by the mental illness one the most because I have a good friend who has PTSD and I have witnessed her at multiple times at her worst, and I won't lie, I was terribly frightened. Not because of anything else other then her safety and happiness. People can't escape all of their problems sometimes, they just have to deal with them and cope.
> 
> I think this is a humorous post I do! I just hope people won't take it too seriously and worry that there is nothing right with them or feel that just because they are a little different people won't love them.


You are honestly the first person to rationally tell me why you didn't agree with my opening post. I mean, almost everybody else was just misandrist as hell and it was very, very sad to read them.

Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to post this.


----------



## BlackMamba

@ForsakenMe 

Love that you put "You can be the "nice Guy"" Guys have this sap story about being the nice guy and i always have to remind them that there is definitely such thing as being the "Nice Girl" Nice Girls finish last too...


----------



## BlackMamba

keelysmith said:


> Hiya! Not trying to put you down in anyway, and I think this had good intentions, and these things very well will drive some men away. But I feel as if this is telling people who share any similarities to these characteristics that they must change themselves to 'be happy' and to have someone love them.
> 
> I was just a little put off by the mental illness one the most because I have a good friend who has PTSD and I have witnessed her at multiple times at her worst, and I won't lie, I was terribly frightened. Not because of anything else other then her safety and happiness. People can't escape all of their problems sometimes, they just have to deal with them and cope.
> 
> I think this is a humorous post I do! I just hope people won't take it too seriously and worry that there is nothing right with them or feel that just because they are a little different people won't love them.


I totally get where you are coming from... because some things seemed kind of like 'you need to change who you are.' Thought I understand what she was saying... I guess she kind of means when you go to the access... cause honestly... If I have to completely change some of those things about me... then I'm doomed.. lol


----------



## Ayia

I loved it. I think the no.1 reason shuld be: you're scared to talk to men... 

I know that's why I'm single


----------



## missushoney

ForsakenMe said:


> I read the "20 Reasons Why You're Still Single Men" thread, and had an idea that it's time to create a list for us ladies and for the confused, single ladies out there wondering just what the heck they're doing wrong that's driving literally all the men in their lives away.


hehe I appreciate this list. I think when people are too extreme about any thing it can drive people away. Since you seem to be more knowledgeable on this topic I wonder if you could give me a little advice.

I do love to flirt, but I stop when I have a guy I like. If I have a guy and I flirt and still look at other guys I usually know that I don't like him as much as i thought I did. I also am kind of quick to get in bed because it is just something fun to do. The guys I've been with have been the type to get more attached to me because of it but then I realize I don't like them after a while and I end up having to fight off a clingy guy. -_- So I decided I liked the guys who are slower to make moves because they are thinking things through. But they end up being so distant I'm not sure if they like me and are just busy or feeling things out, or if they are trying to get rid of me. And sometimes they are so slow I don't feel like waiting any longer.

So is it better to go for someone who is like me and more of a "feeler", or go for someone who I will have to do a lot of hard work with (thinker)?

Just wanting to get your opinion because I'm single. -_- And I've only been with a few guys. It's hard to tell what things I should let slide or what I should be looking for or what I should work on myself.


----------



## emberwing

1. All girls school. Little prospect for guys, and being in an open relationship with a girl in school would just be awkward? Haha, I'm not sure how the school admin would handle that!
2. I'm a little insane. And somewhat odd. And have a weird sense of humor.
3. Most importantly, I'm a demisexual. I mean, won't most potential lovers get frustrated by my not wanting to kiss immediatly or something? the scale on this kind of orientation is really fuzzy, and never being in a relationship before, I don't know what I want from a partner other than having fun in each others company and running around like goofs!


----------



## ForsakenMe

missushoney said:


> hehe I appreciate this list. I think when people are too extreme about any thing it can drive people away. Since you seem to be more knowledgeable on this topic I wonder if you could give me a little advice.
> 
> I do love to flirt, but I stop when I have a guy I like. If I have a guy and I flirt and still look at other guys I usually know that I don't like him as much as i thought I did. I also am kind of quick to get in bed because it is just something fun to do. The guys I've been with have been the type to get more attached to me because of it but then I realize I don't like them after a while and I end up having to fight off a clingy guy. -_- So I decided I liked the guys who are slower to make moves because they are thinking things through. But they end up being so distant I'm not sure if they like me and are just busy or feeling things out, or if they are trying to get rid of me. And sometimes they are so slow I don't feel like waiting any longer.
> 
> So is it better to go for someone who is like me and more of a "feeler", or go for someone who I will have to do a lot of hard work with (thinker)?
> 
> Just wanting to get your opinion because I'm single. -_- And I've only been with a few guys. It's hard to tell what things I should let slide or what I should be looking for or what I should work on myself.


Judging by your past, it looks like you're the type of person who has very idealistic views on people. And when they shatter your views, you end up resenting them. Tons of INFPs do this, and it's something we have to work on and deal with, because truth of the matter is, is that even your one soul mate that is supposedly right for you in every way possible... might have his own human flaws.

Also, it seems like you're never happy with how your relationships turn out. Who knows why. Only you know the truth. Maybe you should talk to a professional about it. I don't mean like, you're crazy and need help, but it sounds like there's something in your past that you never got over and you take this with you into these relationships with men.

Hope this helps.  The one hard thing about love: *If you feel like you can't find your soul mate, it is because you haven't found the first soul mate that you MUST meet before you meet the other one: Yourself at your best and healthiest. You have to love yourself first, and this reacts as a mirror so that other quality people become attracted to you, and soon enough... your soul mate will notice you.*


----------



## missushoney

ForsakenMe said:


> Judging by your past, it looks like you're the type of person who has very idealistic views on people. And when they shatter your views, you end up resenting them. Tons of INFPs do this, and it's something we have to work on and deal with, because truth of the matter is, is that even your one soul mate that is supposedly right for you in every way possible... might have his own human flaws.
> 
> Also, it seems like you're never happy with how your relationships turn out. Who knows why. Only you know the truth. Maybe you should talk to a professional about it. I don't mean like, you're crazy and need help, but it sounds like there's something in your past that you never got over and you take this with you into these relationships with men.
> 
> Hope this helps.  The one hard thing about love: *If you feel like you can't find your soul mate, it is because you haven't found the first soul mate that you MUST meet before you meet the other one: Yourself at your best and healthiest. You have to love yourself first, and this reacts as a mirror so that other quality people become attracted to you, and soon enough... your soul mate will notice you.*


It does help actually. Thanks a lot. ^_^ Yeah I do think you have a point with maybe talking to someone about it. I've been trying to figure things out on my own but sometimes you need help from elsewhere I guess. 

btw that bunny (in your sig.) can really get down. Might have to take some tips from it because that's a full routine right there. haha.


----------



## pretty.Odd

> You Have A Bad Attitude.
> You're mentally unstable
> You're too nice
> You Are Self-Destructive
> You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.
> You're too shy
> You're too male


Basically, I'm fucked.


----------



## Indigo Aria

ForsakenMe said:


> *Reason 13: You're Too... Male.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Listen, there's nothing wrong with pursuing sports or video games. Heck, there's nothing wrong with having fun and getting down and dirty... However, being exactly the same as his male friend replica is just asking for getting invited to the dreaded "friendzone". Ever heard of guys describing one of their female friends, who happens to wrestle buff men for fun, as "the sister they never had"? Yeah, it ain't pretty! Remember to get in touch with your feminine side as well! Burping, farting, having body odor, not shaving, and dressing like a dude is just too much for a heterosexual guy to handle._


Ummm...I don't have those behaviors...but certain parts of me are a bit too male, if ya know what I mean...


----------



## ForsakenMe

Indigo Aria said:


> Ummm...I don't have those behaviors...but certain parts of me are a bit too male, if ya know what I mean...


You're trans?


----------



## Indigo Aria

ForsakenMe said:


> You're trans?


Yup. We're everywhere, invading ur internet spacez.


----------



## ForsakenMe

Indigo Aria said:


> Yup. We're everywhere, invading ur internet spacez.


That's cool. ^_^ I've never really spoken to a trans before, so thanks for the experience.


----------



## Curiously

Because I don't want to spoon with just any guy.
Because I don't want to make homemade pancakes and french-pressed coffee for just any guy.
Because I don't want to feel as though I must entertain a man; instead, let him entertain me for fuck's sake.
Because I don't want to hold hands with just any guy.
Because people are hard to trust.
Because I don't know if I can handle emotional intimacy.

Okay, I'll stop.


----------



## Ikari_T

KrystRay said:


> I kind of feel like that too. I mean, I know that I'm pretty, but I'm not ready to settle for anyone. I keep my life spiced up with the affluent men (just in case pregnancy should arise), but I have no interest in being in a relationship. I am kind of torn because I love traditions, but they're starting to look like fairy tales. I'd love to be the stay at home mother and wife, but I've turned into a cynic after being hit on men married to these women. It makes me rethink my faith in the institution of marriage. I'm not nearly submissive or naive enough to be desirable to men who want to get married. I see SO many young girls getting married and these seem to be the two traits they all seem to have. These girls aren't prettier or smarter than me, just more naive and don't speak their minds (or don't have opinions). Whatever the case, I'm happy for now.


Yeah exactly. I just think it's dumb to just settle for anyone. People, whether male or female, need to have standards. I can't stand people who don't.


----------



## sushi

i havent read all the posts here on this thread but has anyone ever considered that one of the reasons why single women are still single is because they're not pretty enough? it's the most fundamental belief of most girls with low self esteem and being one of those girls i may be biased in sharing this opinion, but i mean come on, does it really matter to guys if a woman is too much of a party girl or too much of a control freak or even too much of a psycho if she has ample boobs and and a gorgeous face?


----------



## ForsakenMe

sushi said:


> i havent read all the posts here on this thread but has anyone ever considered that one of the reasons why single women are still single is because they're not pretty enough? it's the most fundamental belief of most girls with low self esteem and being one of those girls i may be biased in sharing this opinion, but i mean come on, does it really matter to guys if a woman is too much of a party girl or too much of a control freak or even too much of a psycho if she has ample boobs and and a gorgeous face?


You'd be surprised by the number of overweight and/or not-so-attractive girls who have a boyfriend. It's all about the attitude... I mean, I'm not going to lie: Looks ARE important... but only to a certain point. Looks *catch* the attention while the personality holds that attention. 

Let me put it this way. I got cheated on by a guy and he cheated on me with a girl much heavier than me. Nuff said. If a guy isn't a total arrogant jerk who's solely into looks, he will go for the girl who he feels happiest the most, even if she isn't Miss Universe.


----------



## runnerveran

sushi said:


> i havent read all the posts here on this thread but has anyone ever considered that one of the reasons why single women are still single is because they're not pretty enough? it's the most fundamental belief of most girls with low self esteem and being one of those girls i may be biased in sharing this opinion, but i mean come on,* does it really matter to guys if a woman is too much of a party girl or too much of a control freak or even too much of a psycho if she has ample boobs and and a gorgeous face?*


Guys want to have sex with these types of girls. Not date them. (With a few exceptions of course; the few men who want to _date_ those types of girls usually have some major issues themselves).


----------



## ENTPfemme

I'm still single because there was incest in my family. It was awful. I'm not sure I will ever recover. Little things in my everyday life sometimes remind me of it. I am currently in therapy for this, but there is probably very little hope. I know I'm not the only one in the world struggling with this, obviously. So I am trying not to feel too sorry for myself.


----------



## Pseudowho

Looking back on some previous posts, it's sad to see a gender-blame situation going on. It's also plain to see people emphatically stating that they "chose to be [insert relationship status here]".

This seems silly really. At least, instead of blaming genders, blame individual personalities which have perhaps, through the years, clashed with your own (gender regardless). And maybe for those who state they consciously 'chose' their current position...try not to sound so angry about it?

This is in no way a troll-like rant at people. Just a suggestion that people sometimes step back from harshly lasting attitudes and analyse whether what they feel is really the case? And, is really the best way to go about changing the bad into good?


----------



## Catenaccio

ForsakenMe said:


> I read the "20 Reasons Why You're Still Single Men" thread, and had an idea that it's time to create a list for us ladies and for the confused, single ladies out there wondering just what the heck they're doing wrong that's driving literally all the men in their lives away.
> 
> Let's start.
> 
> *Reason 1: You're Too "Fun".*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Everybody likes a funny lady... However, there is such thing as being too funny. If you don't take life or yourself seriously at all, how will you expect for men to take YOU seriously at all? You can crack jocks from time to time, but when the situation calls for being serious, lay away the Dane Cook jokes for a while._
> 
> *Reason 2: You're A Party Girl.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _If your life only consists of partying hard every night and sleeping in during the day, no doubt that guys would steer clear of having any serious commitments with you. Being the obnoxious drunk girl would only get you in bed and the guy "mysteriously" disappearing when morning arrives._
> 
> *Reason 3: Your Friends Are Complete Bitches.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _You are the company that you keep. And in this case, if your friends are the type to cause nothing but drama for everyone even mildly involved int heir lives, guys will pick this up and stay away from you in fear of being ridiculed by them, or having them ruin the relationship due to petty jealousy and immaturity. Lose the skank team and find better friends._
> 
> *Reason 4: You're Too Picky.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Your perfect guy: Athletic, super-genius, has the artistic talents of Picasso, as handsome as Brad Pitt, and has more money than God. Realize that nobody will ever be perfect, and that you need to take in the guy's flaws as well as his good points. Chill!_
> 
> *Reason 5: You Have A Bad Attitude.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Overly-complaint, demanding, controlling, always putting everyone down, insecure with self, can never take a joke, has the tendency to scowl and sneer at everyone... Rings a bell?_
> 
> *Reason 6: You're Still In Love With Your Ex.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _You're always bringing him up in the conversations between you and other men. You still wear the necklace that he gave you for the 1 year anniversary you celebrated a long time ago. You keep in very close contact with him and go out with him "as friends" out on the night in town... While your boyfriend is nervously waiting by the phone._
> 
> *Reason 7: You're Mentally Unstable.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Whether you're just mildly depressed, or severely schizophrenic with a sociopathic personality... Your mental illness will frustrate and may even scare men away, even if they do love you to bits. Solution? Go get professional help before you can even THINK about dating again. You deserve to be happy and healthy... And your relationships will turn COMPLETELY better for everyone involved._
> 
> *Reason 8: You're Too Flirty.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Flirting is a great way to meet and have fun with men. Once you're in a relationship, though, you may need to cut this out when you are with other males. Flirting with your (Or God forbid, his!) male friends is just asking for a dumping... Either stop this bad habit, or enjoy being a flirt... For the rest of your life._
> 
> *Reason 9: You're Too Fast To Get Into Bed With.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Ain't nothing wrong with being proud of your body and sexuality... However, it is been said for so long that in the dating world, getting in bed with a man before the 3rd date and beyond will strip away all the mystery, and the guy losing interest. It sucks, but learn to be a little patient, and focus on your guy instead of his schling-schlong; THAT comes later, and the anticipation will be worth it in the end, promise!_
> 
> *Reason 10: You're Too Nice.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Yes! Even women can be "the nice guy"! Remember that while being laid-back, sweet and giving are some great traits that men can find in a woman, it's also okay to think for yourself and to say "No" every once in a while to your guy... He is not your whole world, and growing a little back bone can make you even MORE attractive in his eyes._
> 
> *Reason 11: You Have A Jealous Ex-Lover.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _We all have one... That stupid ex-boyfriend of ours who can never get the clue that it's over between the two of you, or the guy you had a short fling with can't fathom the idea of you dating other guys. Men who find threatening or overly sexual messages from the ex on your phone will not be pleased, and may consider second thoughts. It's not that you are not worthy of fighting for... They just don't want unnecessary drama in their lives. And who can blame them? Tell your crazy exes to kick rocks and leave you the hell alone... Or maybe you enjoy making men jealous because you are insecure or have a thirst for drama?_
> 
> *Reason 12: You Are Self-Destructive.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Whether you abuse drugs, alcohol, participate in self-injury or otherwise... You have to realize that men don't find this behavior attractive, and you also have to realize that men cannot save you, only YOU can. You don't need men right now... You need to check in a rehab facility or a therapist who can help you._
> 
> *Reason 13: You're Too... Male.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Listen, there's nothing wrong with pursuing sports or video games. Heck, there's nothing wrong with having fun and getting down and dirty... However, being exactly the same as his male friend replica is just asking for getting invited to the dreaded "friendzone". Ever heard of guys describing one of their female friends, who happens to wrestle buff men for fun, as "the sister they never had"? Yeah, it ain't pretty! Remember to get in touch with your feminine side as well! Burping, farting, having body odor, not shaving, and dressing like a dude is just too much for a heterosexual guy to handle._
> 
> *Reason 14: You're High-Maintenance.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Your boyfriend isn't Donald Trump. Unless your man is rich and doesn't mind spoiling you everyday, lay off the money-hungry attitude._
> 
> *Reason 15: You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Your man has a life, and you need to focus on yours! Get some new friends, get a job, or pursue some interesting hobbies. In the same token, remember to spend some time with your significant other; Your friends/job/hobbies/etc can't take up ALL of your time, unless you enjoy being a busy, SINGLE lady!_
> 
> *Reason 16: You Nag Too Much.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Do I really need to explain? Or are you just gonna yell at me to clean the dishes all over again?_
> 
> *Reason 17: You're Abusive.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _It is NEVER okay to hit a man. Ever. Domestic violence is very serious, and your man should never be your personal punching bag for all the issues that you possess._
> 
> *Reason 18: You're Too Shy.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Men aren't always the initiator to everything, so sometimes, you're going to have to buck up and ask him out first! Confidence is sexy, and men will appreciate you making the first move; It's a breath of fresh air!_
> 
> *Reason 19: You're A Slob.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Take a damn shower! Shave, apply deodorant, take care of your hair and skin... You are not a pig, and having very bad body odor won't attract any guys, unless you like very strange guys!_
> 
> *Reason 20: You Pretend To Be Dumb.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Being the dumb blonde chick might be seemingly endearing... For a short while!_


Picky, bad attitude, flirty, distant, you just described my ex...shame she was not easy to get into bed with or too nice!


----------



## marybluesky

Well, I have something to say about some of this reasons: #5- You have a bad attitude:I noticed that most of guys respect sorta aggressive, assertive women better. They treat "sweet" girls like dumb children. Again, I say most of guys not all of them. For me a relationship without respect doesn`t worth it. #13: You are too male: Well I think being "friendzoned" is not always a bad thing. You can be a gracefull, attractive girl to the guy you WANT, not necessarily to all men. Let others be your "brothers". What`s wrong with that? #19: I`m sick of meeting girls who are alwasys anxious about odor & take deodorant shower 3 times a day. Be neat & clean. The rest is nice extra.


----------



## Cleo

You don't need to worry about being single. It is the ones who spend their life overly worried about it, who wont slow down, focus on theirself and meditate, who are never ready when the one who fullfills and completes them comes. 

I would rather be single any day than to be "in a relationship." Being "in a relationship" doesn't qualify for jack. No status, no ring, no rules written in stone. He is simply not deserving for that little title. Please...


----------



## Cleo

marybluesky said:


> Well, I have something to say about some of this reasons: #5- You have a bad attitude:I noticed that most of guys respect sorta aggressive, assertive women better. They treat "sweet" girls like dumb children. Again, I say most of guys not all of them. For me a relationship without respect doesn`t worth it. #13: You are too male: Well I think being "friendzoned" is not always a bad thing. You can be a gracefull, attractive girl to the guy you WANT, not necessarily to all men. Let others be your "brothers". What`s wrong with that? #19: I`m sick of meeting girls who are alwasys anxious about odor & take deodorant shower 3 times a day. Be neat & clean. The rest is nice extra.


You can be assertive and sweet. Think of when an Enneagram 8 goes to 2.


----------



## Elvira

Neon Knight said:


> Forward: I CHOSE to be single, mostly because of shit like this.
> 
> Then quit bugging, begging, bribing us and maybe that would be more of a possibility. I wish these guys would fucking make up their minds, anyone else feel this way, or been through this too? Oh and...hyprocrites! And try taking your eyes of our chests when talking to us ok?


I've been quite confused by this too! I'm a virgin (just by personal choice; it's not a religious decision or anything), and I won't do anything sexual with a guy unless I feel very emotionally attached to him. ...That's probably why I haven't really done anything sexual, actually. (lol) But guys have gotten frustrated with the fact that I'm so prude.

But if I jumped into bed with them (like they wanted), they would have called me a slut. It just doesn't really make sense to ask for sex if you're just going to judge the girl for giving it to you.


----------



## ForsakenMe

Katie Ann said:


> I've been quite confused by this too! I'm a virgin (just by personal choice; it's not a religious decision or anything), and I won't do anything sexual with a guy unless I feel very emotionally attached to him. ...That's probably why I haven't really done anything sexual, actually. (lol) But guys have gotten frustrated with the fact that I'm so prude.
> 
> But if I jumped into bed with them (like they wanted), they would have called me a slut. It just doesn't really make sense to ask for sex if you're just going to judge the girl for giving it to you.


Try a male virgin with a low libido.


----------



## JigglyJello

Just because I've accepted that I am right now.

I'm young and in no rush to find something serious (yet I believe no one should really be in a rush for one at all). I enjoy going on dates with guys and getting different experiences. I enjoy learning how to handle myself in the dating world. 

If next week I went on a date with a great guy and we ended up becoming exclusive and a little more serious, great that's wonderful. Love those feelings and being connected to someone romantically. 

And if I go on a date with a guy who turns out to be horrible then whatever. Learn from it, take what experience I can get, and go off with my own life.


----------



## skycloud86

Elvira said:


> I've been quite confused by this too! I'm a virgin (just by personal choice; it's not a religious decision or anything), and I won't do anything sexual with a guy unless I feel very emotionally attached to him. ...That's probably why I haven't really done anything sexual, actually. (lol) But guys have gotten frustrated with the fact that I'm so prude.
> 
> But if I jumped into bed with them (like they wanted), they would have called me a slut. It just doesn't really make sense to ask for sex if you're just going to judge the girl for giving it to you.



It's one of the many double standards patriarchal society likes to impose on women.


----------



## skbulletin

yeah, my friends call me a prude too. haha. I have 0 experience but I don't care. 
As much as I dream about having a relationship.
Currently I'm not interested in having a relationship anyways.

Not only is asking someone out a hassle but it weighs me down, 
and I certainly do not want to baby sit men.

I'm not a lovey dovey person, and I like to spend my time alone.

Whenever the right time comes I guess?

my though I'm only 22, majority of my classmates from Highschool are already married
and had at least 1 kid already. ;u; I still get invitation to go to their wedding, but
i never choose to go.


----------



## Tim Lang

skycloud86 said:


> It's one of the many double standards patriarchal society likes to impose on women.


This is not a double standard. Just as women like to test men to see if they are a long term worthy mate, this holds true for men as well. 

If a girl sleeps with a guy on the first or second date, the ability to assure that her future offspring are yours is minimized if she gives it up too quickly. A guy will always try to sleep with a girl and if she does have sex with him, this triggers an emotional response that says shes dirty or gets around too often. This language can be translated to my offspring do not have the same ability with this loose girl as it does with one who withholds sex and will be loyal to me. 

Women do these same types of tests all the time. It's a common human trait no matter what sex. It's just different methods are used between men and women.


----------



## Chef_Sean

marybluesky said:


> Well, I have something to say about some of this reasons: #5- You have a bad attitude:I noticed that most of guys respect sorta aggressive, assertive women better. They treat "sweet" girls like dumb children. Again, I say most of guys not all of them. For me a relationship without respect doesn`t worth it. #13: You are too male: Well I think being "friendzoned" is not always a bad thing. You can be a gracefull, attractive girl to the guy you WANT, not necessarily to all men. Let others be your "brothers". What`s wrong with that? #19: I`m sick of meeting girls who are alwasys anxious about odor & take deodorant shower 3 times a day. Be neat & clean. The rest is nice extra.


I think you're a bit jaded about what most men prefer. Perhaps this is because the guys 'you like' are complete jerks and with a nice girl, that'll never work. So they find someone with some ballz that they can butcher a bit without hurting their feelings. Doesn't mean they still aren't the same guys! Take it from me luv, not all guys want these aggressive in your face chicks. I prefer the sweet girl who YES, allows me to take the lead in decisions. That's how God planned it you know... Man's the head of the table... women are supposed to be following our direction. Now society has women's view of their role in a relationship distorted. Equality and all that... Women are better at following and giving advice... Men are good at blindly leading and taking that advice when their plans don't go AS PLANNED. Bad attitudes suck, in anyone. Please don't tell me you're turned on by what I just said... cause that's what you're implying. Some humans may be that easy to deceive, not this one, lol. 
And btw, has it occurred to you that many of these guys who say they prefer a girl with attitude are simply looking at you from the standpoint of (wow, she'd be fun to have makeup sex with, psycho in bed man). Sweet always covers sour. Marriages end over bad attitudes. Sweet girls stay with you for a lifetime, while girls with attitude take you for granted  for starters, lol.
So, perhaps you might wanna switch up the TYPE of guy you're going after or dating because there are guys who don't want all the princess attitude. The one's that are thinking beyond the one year mark (hint/hint). My gosh, no wonder so many women walk around with a bad attitude, dudes too! Nobody likes that... just some have be conditioned to be comfortable with that. 

Sorry if I was a bit harsh, but this kinda of opinion has something to do with why this 'SWEET' guy has had so many issues with women with bad attitude. I used to think it was hot too. For the first week or two, IT IS! But beyond that... I don't like confrontation or fights. Girls with bad attitude or aggressive nature keep me on eggshells. I like to feel comfortable in relationships... It shouldn't be stressful! 

Just a comment on 'assertiveness' in women. It's kinda like sensitivity with MOST men. It's not a makeup of most of the sexes DNA. Most guys CAN'T be sensitive like women and most women that try to act assertively come off as ............ SNOBS. I'll use an analogy to describe what I mean. Women should almost never be assertive because they were created to be a follower, not a leader. The only assertiveness that should be used in lady circles is to get yourself out of a situation where the man at the head isn't steering you right. Women who try to take over control of the steering wheel conflict with man's primal nature. Not trying to sound sexist, but it's true... predominantly men and women are better at different things... One of those being assertiveness. If more women were naturally assertive, it wouldn't be the guy who USUALLY asks the girl out. 

Again, sorry to harp on, but this drives me crazy and I don't want other women reading this... possibly one who might come across my path and pretend to be who she's not. I'm not an overly assertive male and usually if I try to be, I come off as a complete dick, even in my own eyes, lol. Just not in my makeup, like most ladies. 

I should reference that I'm not stating women shouldn't have some 'nerve' or backbone... But, from what I know of the definition of assertive,, women should use sparingly, especially around guys who yes want to be dominant ones. That's our genetic code... We lead... Society and these women yelling GIRL POWER are confusing a lot of ladies growing up. Now women are trying to become men and vice versa. Sorry, men aren't supposed to be super sensitive, we're supposed to take all your troubles on our backs and lead you up the mountain. Now, we might not like it very much if a woman came up from behind, grabbed the pack and lead us up the mountain. That's assertiveness for the female... NO, STOP IT! Stand up for yourself, but please no assertive women. 

Why does assertiveness conflict with females so much? Because I believe women are by far more sensitive, usually. AND when these women decide to be more assertive in everyday life, this conflicts with sensitivity and they stop being so sweet to their man. Makes sense right... Men are known as being super assertive usually, but lack sensitivity big time. The ones who are less assertive are much more sensitive. So naturally contrary to a post made by Cleo, you can't be assertive and sweet at the same time. Let me put it this way... I'm an INFP... but when under stress or acting out of character I become an extremelly unstable ESTJ. An ESTJ could get away with acting naturally with those traits, but when an INFP uses their least prefered functions, it just doesn't come out right. That's how I see assertiveness in women... as not really part of their dna, so when they try to be assertive, they just come off as b%%%%%. 

Please ladies, drop the assertiveness and just be sweet as can be.


----------



## skycloud86

Tim Lang said:


> This is not a double standard. Just as women like to test men to see if they are a long term worthy mate, this holds true for men as well.


Do they? I assume you only mean cisgendered, hetero/bi women, and even then, it won't be all of them.

If a girl sleeps with a guy on the first or second date, the ability to assure that her future offspring are yours is minimized if she gives it up too quickly. 



> A guy will always try to sleep with a girl and if she does have sex with him, this triggers an emotional response that says shes dirty or gets around too often.


Again, you're assuming all men are the same. As for being dirty and getting around too often, that's mostly men and not women.



> This language can be translated to my offspring do not have the same ability with this loose girl as it does with one who withholds sex and will be loyal to me.


You're talking as if we're still in the Stone Age. Yes, we still have the same brains as our Stone Age ancestors did, but we're very, very different to them.


----------



## Inphamous

skycloud86 said:


> It's one of the many double standards patriarchal society likes to impose on women.


In my experiance women are more likely to call other women sluts for sleepin around than men are. I personaly chalk this up to a supply and demand jealousy. Like someone serting up acroos the street selling the sam product for less than you.

I dont see any other reason why someone would care what others do any this is the only way i can see it effecting anyone else.

Oh and yea realize that this kinda pressumes that the "prude" intended to get something for her "goods" which is not always the case. Just my opinion


----------



## ForsakenMe

Inphamous said:


> In my experiance women are more likely to call other women sluts for sleepin around than men are. I personaly chalk this up to a supply and demand jealousy. Like someone serting up acroos the street selling the sam product for less than you.
> 
> I dont see any other reason why someone would care what others do any this is the only way i can see it effecting anyone else.
> 
> Oh and yea realize that this kinda pressumes that the "prude" intended to get something for her "goods" which is not always the case. Just my opinion


Female jealousy is ugly and sadly, very common. Even when I'm seen talking to a male acquaintance of mine, I get pushed aside by other women just to talk to him too. When I don't talk to him, those same women do the same thing.

It's just biological to want the best, top "Alpha" of the pack, and if he chooses one woman out of all the others, of course the others are going to hate on 'the chosen one'. That's why you mostly see some girls calling one girl ugly even though she's very pretty; to tear her down so much that she starts to hide herself. Less competition to get the top dog, you know?

This is also obvious when a guy realizes he gets more female attention when he has a girlfriend versus when he's single. It's all envy and female jealousy, and he should just ignore them and focus on his woman instead.


----------



## Aza

Edit!


----------



## NephilimAzrael

skycloud86 said:


> Again, you're assuming all men are the same. As for being dirty and getting around too often, that's mostly men and not women.


Well that is a contradiction right there. 




> You're talking as if we're still in the Stone Age. Yes, we still have the same brains as our Stone Age ancestors did, but we're very, very different to them.


Our technologies and by extension the way we interact with our environments are very different. Need an example? Try considering why you referred to it as the "Stone Age".


----------



## skycloud86

NephilimAzrael said:


> Well that is a contradiction right there.


How? Because I said not all men weren't the same, and that the people who were dirty and got around too often were mostly men?



> Our technologies and by extension the way we interact with our environments are very different. Need an example? Try considering why you referred to it as the "Stone Age".


I know, I said that we were very, very different to them.


----------



## NephilimAzrael

skycloud86 said:


> How? Because I said not all men weren't the same, and that the people who were dirty and got around too often were mostly men?


You used a generalisation within a generalisation. That is a contradiction. As per the comment regarding being "dirty and getting around too often" - well they don't get around on themselves do they? There will have to be willing female counterparts to that equation.



> I know, I said that we were very, very different to them.


The thing is, *we* are not very different, only our tools and environmental interactions are different. If it sounds like a duck, walks like a duck but drives a mini-quack-cooper, its gotta be different to a duck. Right?


----------



## Tim Lang

skycloud86 said:


> Do they? I assume you only mean cisgendered, hetero/bi women, and even then, it won't be all of them.
> 
> If a girl sleeps with a guy on the first or second date, the ability to assure that her future offspring are yours is minimized if she gives it up too quickly.


I am defining my excerpt based on the standard stereotype of heterosexual males and females. This is the basis of my comments. Although other orientations share the same human traits of a relationship, but they prefer their own gender and have cultural differences. 




skycloud86 said:


> Again, you're assuming all men are the same. As for being dirty and getting around too often, that's mostly men and not women.



All men are not the same person, but there are general stereotypes that hold true. Shy men will not utilize sex as a test the same way an outgoing extrovert male would. Introverted shy men will utilize loyalty more as a trait during sex. I am not looking to get too deep into that conversation. What you proposed to Elvira is in fact providing a negative basis for her to act upon the action of having sex instead of educating her. 

Your response to her is saying, that we live in a patriarchal society with a double standard and that for her to fit in, you must agree to this principle. Elvira can disagree and say no, I will not go along with it or she can follow your advice which is saying that she does not have another choice because we live in a world of men imposing double standards on Women. This is stone age. 

If you would have said that withholding sex is actually the right thing to do, I could thank you for that. But instead you provided a proposed double standard that is not much of a double standard as it is a test from a man to a woman. Elvira sounds young, just an assumption. In a couple years she will look back and be thankful that she was prude. What she is doing is the right way to handle the situation. Even then, her having suitors line up is a good thing, she is doing the right thing. Elvira is handling the situation correctly and defining herself as a female with qualities men seek. 

Just as a woman can with hold sex so she doesn't get emotionally involved. Guys function differently. A male will try to provoke a woman into sex. Now if she with holds, he will respect her more because she has proper boundaries and knows herself that if she has sex she will become emotionally involved. So the longer she with holds, the more time they can actually get to know one another and engage in a loving form of sex, not just lust. The lust part was covered in my post #373. 

As for men getting around more often then women, I agree with NephilimAzrael, these men have a female partner. The difference here? Men brag about having sex, women shy away from saying anything. Why? Men want other men to know they are king or worthy of women. While women scorn other women and consider them as sluts for sleeping around. This is, in fact, the way society works. It's displayed every day. 



skycloud86 said:


> You're talking as if we're still in the Stone Age. Yes, we still have the same brains as our Stone Age ancestors did, but we're very, very different to them.


This is not the stone age, this is the way humans are. These rules are applied every day. While women no longer expect to have doors held open for them, most women will tell you they are pleased when a guy has manners and is a gentlemen. 

You see things differently than me in todays world. Anything is possible today and more fair than ever. Understanding your emotions and others emotions will lead you to success. By this I mean, if you believe in the double standard, your wish will be granted.


----------



## YOLOsodie

*Reason 5: You Have A Bad Attitude.









*_Overly-complaint, demanding, controlling, always putting everyone down, insecure with self, can never take a joke, has the tendency to scowl and sneer at everyone... Rings a bell?_

*Reason 6: You're Still In Love With Your Ex.*









_You're always bringing him up in the conversations between you and other men. You still wear the necklace that he gave you for the 1 year anniversary you celebrated a long time ago. You keep in very close contact with him and go out with him "as friends" out on the night in town... While your boyfriend is nervously waiting by the phone._

*Reason 7: You're Mentally Unstable.*









_Whether you're just mildly depressed, or severely schizophrenic with a sociopathic personality... Your mental illness will frustrate and may even scare men away, even if they do love you to bits. Solution? Go get professional help before you can even THINK about dating again. You deserve to be happy and healthy... And your relationships will turn COMPLETELY better for everyone involved._

*Reason 8: You're Too Flirty.*









_Flirting is a great way to meet and have fun with men. Once you're in a relationship, though, you may need to cut this out when you are with other males. Flirting with your (Or God forbid, his!) male friends is just asking for a dumping... Either stop this bad habit, or enjoy being a flirt... For the rest of your life._


----------



## Hello Witty

And reason 21: too fickle and flighty

_You love the feelings of infatuation, excitement and fancy. You love fierce sex and intimacy and are addicted to finding your chemical romance over and over again. It's not that you would not love your partners but you will always want something more and run after the new one you are attracted to. You will find an ever-lasting relationship when you finally meet the right one, your soul mate who is able to attract you every single day during the rest of your life._


----------



## ForsakenMe

Hello Witty said:


> And reason 21: too fickle and flighty
> 
> _You love the feelings of infatuation, excitement and fancy. You love fierce sex and intimacy and are addicted to finding your chemical romance over and over again. It's not that you would not love your partners but you will always want something more and run after the new one you are attracted to. You will find an ever-lasting relationship when you finally meet the right one, your soul mate who is able to attract you every single day during the rest of your life._


Makes me a little sad when I meet a person like this. They are usually really nice but they're just so wishy-washy and need to slow down a little. They have to take the bad points with the good points, and I think they're just looking for that ultra-perfect person. They must learn that nobody is perfect!


----------



## marybluesky

Chef_Sean said:


> Girls with bad attitude or aggressive nature keep me on eggshells. I like to feel comfortable in relationships... It shouldn't be stressful!


Ok baby, relax. I didn`t propose to you.


Chef_Sean said:


> Again, sorry to harp on, but this drives me crazy and I don't want other women reading this... possibly one who might come across my path and pretend to be who she's not. I'm not an overly assertive male and usually if I try to be, I come off as a complete dick, even in my own eyes, lol. Just not in my makeup, like most ladies.


 Why so angry? And as joker said, why so serious? - how wonderfully that was played by handsome talented Heath Ledger-You can tell your GF not to read my bad advice. P.S: I was out with my BF yesterday. How nice he is!


----------



## Issmene

Ha! If people get such a long list of things we should be, which is kinda contradictory as well, I'm glad I'm single (okay, I already was comfortable being single, but still). It's also assuming that all guys dislike/like certain things and that women are/might behave a certain way. Annoying.


----------



## WanderingLucid

See I know myself and my friends pretty darn well and I can't really say we're any of those. The closest would be described as picky, but I really don't think I am. Just because I know what I want in a guy doesn't make me picky. I don't wanna hurt anyone if I know before I get into a relationship that we're not compatible. I don't think my expectations are too high. My man is out there (not necessarily a "soulmate") and I know he's looking for a gal like me. I'm worth it. And he is too.

Also I've always had other priorities above dating. (When I was in) School, career, friends, family etc..all more important to me. I've always chosen to be single and I never wanted to be otherwise. When I decide to I probably will, but if I'm not 100% into a relationship that's not fair for either of us. If I'm in it I'm in it and I've never wanted to be in it. But those are just my opinions. Can't say for others


----------



## WishyWashy

I nag too much.


----------



## Shinji Mimura

Wow, this list neglected my most hated reason why girls are single:

You're unwilling to make the move!

Seriously, there is nothing more hot than a girl asking a guy out, giving her number, being the instigator. It's kind of like when you call a job to check up on your resume; it shows you want it!

But, society will never permit that


----------



## LiLesah

4, 10, (maybe 13), 15, 18 - it all makes sense now. *sigh


----------



## _selene_

it's hot


----------



## Sweetlikecinnamon

So basically... we're fucked!


----------



## cyamitide

lol sounds like it


----------



## Elyasis

This list is neither comprehensive nor accurate.
ಠ_ಠ


----------



## nordlund63

skbulletin said:


> my though I'm only 22, majority of my classmates from Highschool are already married
> and had at least 1 kid already. ;u; I still get invitation to go to their wedding, but
> i never choose to go.


I'm in the same situation. Its weird, huh? Pretty soon we'll start going to funerals.


----------



## The Nightingale

I'm not sure if this list is supposed to be for entertainment only or tries to give a real insight into why someone is not in a relationship (anymore).

Nevertheless, it is shallow and redundant and does not represent the complex reasons for being single. 
More often than not it's not because you're too... anything, but because you might not be in the right position right now, haven't figured out who you want to be with or simply haven't been lucky enough to meet someone you want to be with and with whom a relationship will work.


----------



## ForsakenMe

The Nightingale said:


> I'm not sure if this list is supposed to be for entertainment only or tries to give a real insight into why someone is not in a relationship (anymore).
> 
> Nevertheless, it is shallow and redundant and does not represent the complex reasons for being single.
> More often than not it's not because you're too... anything, but because you might not be in the right position right now, haven't figured out who you want to be with or simply haven't been lucky enough to meet someone you want to be with and with whom a relationship will work.


How is it shallow that a man wants a woman who doesn't harm herself with terrible habits such as drug use, flirting with other men while in a relationship, or the fact that she may have a hidden mental illness that could spell trouble for anybody near her should she hit rock bottom? It would be shallow if I added "You're too fat", "You're too tall", etc.

I'm appalled that anybody would call someone shallow because they don't want to get involved with a generally unstable individual. I've dated "unstable" guys before, and it never ended well. Ever.


----------



## skycloud86

ForsakenMe said:


> How is it shallow that a man wants a woman who doesn't harm herself with terrible habits such as drug use, flirting with other men while in a relationship, or the fact that she may have a hidden mental illness that could spell trouble for anybody near her should she hit rock bottom? It would be shallow if I added "You're too fat", "You're too tall", etc.
> 
> I'm appalled that anybody would call someone shallow because they don't want to get involved with a generally unstable individual. I've dated "unstable" guys before, and it never ended well. Ever.


Then why add them to a list about why women are single? Men can be like that too, it isn't something inherent in women or exclusive to women.


----------



## ForsakenMe

skycloud86 said:


> Then why add them to a list about why women are single? Men can be like that too, it isn't something inherent in women or exclusive to women.


I am not the author of the other list, but I wished that person added to that list for men too. I don't hate unstable people... People with problems need as much love and support as a 'healthy and sane' person. Nobody is perfect, but that doesn't mean you should put your partner through hell and back because "If he loves me, he should take in all of my bad parts, etc."

Um, no. I doubt many women are loving the fact that their husbands go out, get drunk, and flirt with younger single women. Not unless she has horribly low self-esteem. I wouldn't date a person like him... that doesn't make me shallow. That just means I don't want to get hurt. You can't fix people by loving them... THEY have to fix themselves on their own terms. Sorry. That's the cold hard reality.


----------



## Playful Proxy

Ningsta Kitty said:


> It has been determined that the reason I am still single is my superfluous usage of emoticons :sad:


Why can't there be a younger version of you? (I suspect you to be mid-20's)
And you are single because you haven't hung around the right guys.


----------



## petite libellule

Signify said:


> Why can't there be a younger version of you? (I suspect you to be mid-20's)
> And you are single because you haven't hung around the right guys.


Thank You! Mad Style Blushing! :blushed::kitteh:roud: oooooooh :frustrating: Introvert madness! 

I say the right guys should be micro-chipped at birth so I can find them! 
 that would be super cooooooL! >.<










*giggling* *JUST JOKING!!!
*) You're alright Sig :wink:


The better question is: Why can't we have crazy elevator portals like they do in Futurama?


and thank you for the compliment, I wish I was still in my 20's!
I feel like so old sometimes :/
that was so sweet


----------



## MrMagpie

I rarely leave the house, and I both loathe and am bad at making chitchat with strangers. I am extremely suspicious of people and enjoy testing their boundaries to see how they react. I am a very difficult person to get close to, and don't pay much attention to people unless they can impress or interest me, which is also very difficult. Therefore I am a kissless virgin.


----------



## Kyandigaru

I'm going to try to take a different route and say because you [woman], don't settle for less than the man you want.


----------



## Life.Is.A.Game

I don't agree with any of these. Most girls I know that are in relationships have a bunch of these "no-no's"... it's BS. Guys put up with a lot of shit. If they don't like it they go cheat, but most guys don't break up even if their girls is psychotic.


----------



## Life.Is.A.Game

Signify said:


> Why can't there be a younger version of you? (I suspect you to be mid-20's)
> And you are single because you haven't hung around the right guys.


That's what they all say. @Ningsta Kitty don't be fooled.


----------



## petite libellule

Life.Is.A.Game said:


> That's what they all say. @_Ningsta Kitty_ don't be fooled.


and that is why the 'right guy' is a yellow lab  lol! :tongue:

Related:

When a man says, "I'm not like other men" ... I laugh and say, "All men say that!" :tongue:

*True Story*


----------



## petite libellule

Another reason why I am single:

I have yet to find the partially deaf man that I click with.

-_- I talk too much.


----------



## Antipseudonym

I haven't seen that option in the list, but my reason for being single is: I get bored too fast, l always need new people, things and relationships are something like prison for me.


----------



## dizzycactus

wow, great list. it's actually very honest and reveals real common issues. Usually everything is just framed as men's faults. For example, women aren't picky, men just aren't good enough. Admirable that the domestic abuse thing was pointed out. It can be particularly nasty when it's female on male, because no-one will ever take it seriously. There's no help for men in that situation. They can't even defend themselves in the slightest without screwing themselves over. 

some of the points may seem a little self-contradictory but it makes perfect sense from my view. 
If a man demands sex within a few days, he's probably not relationship material. Personally, I think leaving it a while would make it better, because then you have both the physical and the emotional aspects to it that are developed. 

seriously doubt I'd consider a party girl relationship material. 

don't think I'd mind clingy hugely. not as bad as distant. although there's an ideal spot where she's attached, values you, etc, but doesn't subsist on you.


----------



## Basil

dizzycactus said:


> It can be particularly nasty when it's female on male, because no-one will ever take it seriously. There's no help for men in that situation. They can't even defend themselves in the slightest without screwing themselves over.


This is absolutely false. It's less common than a male abuser/female victim relationship, but that doesn't mean it isn't taken seriously or that no one will help. I've worked with victims of domestic violence (including men) and women ARE prosecuted for domestic battery, assault, etc. against men. It's something that domestic violence agencies take extremely seriously, so do your research instead of making assumptions about the people who help in these situations.


----------



## LittleT

I have problems 5 and 7, ie bad attitude and mental instability. Also self destructive


----------



## User

Just ask us out. Its fine.Girls need to understand what guys go trough sometimes.. Its not peaches and cream, ladies.You need to put yourselves in a pair of guy shoes""..strap your tits down..girl interrupted style and uhhh.. say.. yoo, you wanna get a cup of coffee some time or something? Yo, well.. let me suck your d*ck?


----------



## Life.Is.A.Game

Antipseudonym said:


> I haven't seen that option in the list, but my reason for being single is: I get bored too fast, l always need new people, things and relationships are something like prison for me.


Right and what happened to single being a choice?


----------



## dizzycactus

Basil said:


> This is absolutely false. It's less common than a male abuser/female victim relationship,













> but that doesn't mean it isn't taken seriously or that no one will help. I've worked with victims of domestic violence (including men) and women ARE prosecuted for domestic battery, assault, etc. against men. It's something that domestic violence agencies take extremely seriously, so do your research instead of making assumptions about the people who help in these situations.


over here, the default official protocol of the police called to a domestic violence dispute is to arrest the man on scene regardless of who is claiming what etc.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Another reason why I am single:
> 
> I have yet to find the partially deaf man that I click with.
> 
> -_- I talk too much.


*Lurk Lurk Lurk* ... *stops lurking* ^^ Above. It sounds like you have a lot to say ... That could mean you have a lot of ideas and you like to share them ^__^ 
I consider that to be awesome ^__^

... If I didn't, I would have to look at my own love for talking in a relationship as something negative 

Yay for communicating ^__^


P.S. Why do people think it is bad for women to talk to much anyway? As long as it is interesting, I would love to have long conversations (share my ideas, get feedback, learn from her and hear her ideas). ... Talking is fun ^__^


----------



## Basil

dizzycactus said:


> View attachment 48508


I can't find this study online, but my own experience working with victims has consistently been that over 80% were female. I also find "initiate domestic violence" to be vague. Does the study define that more clearly? In any case, my real world experience has been much more in line with the statistics on this page: americanbar.org/groups/domestic_violence/resources/statistics.html. If we want to quote studies, though, we could be here for months. DV is too complex an issue (and studies have too many variables) to compile definitive statistics.



dizzycactus said:


> over here, the default official protocol of the police called to a domestic violence dispute is to arrest the man on scene regardless of who is claiming what etc.


The full quote I believe you're referring to is "The police will seek out men who abuse their partners and arrest them, even if the victim refuses to make a statement or give evidence in court," and it's misleading for several reasons.


In many U.S. states there are laws _requiring_ officers to make an arrest in incidents where DV is suspected. A complaining witness is not necessary. In cases of "he said, she said" the officer will have to make a very tough decision, which DOES involve arresting women, too. I know this to be a fact because I have personally seen it happen. 
The quote implies that a man will be arrested in all cases, solely because the police are sexist. Again, DV is a very complex issue, and it often involves emotional and financial components. A female victim who's clearly been beaten black, blue, and bloody may not want her abuser arrested because he is the sole source of income in the home, and thus him going to jail leaves her and any children without financial resources. She may also love her abuser and thus not want him arrested. In either case, the victim may refuse to give a statement, but if she has obviously been beaten a police officer may choose to prioritize her safety by arresting the abuser (assuming the officer has that choice and is not bound by law to make an arrest). 
This quote also implies that all abusers are men, which I agree is inappropriate. 
My problem with your OP, however, was not that men are not victims, which I believe I made very clear in my first post. My problem was with your statements that male victims are never helped and that no one cares when they're the victims, which is simply not true. The general public is not well-informed when it comes to DV, which creates misconceptions like these, and which you are perpetuating with your negative and false claims. If you want to spread awareness on this subject then share what you know, rather than simply reinforcing the problem you're decrying. The people and ads in that video do not represent all domestic violence agencies, police forces, court systems, etc.

If you would like to continue this conversation, please feel free to PM me. I derailed this thread with my first post and don't want to continue doing so.


----------



## dizzycactus

Basil said:


> I can't find this study online, but my own experience working with victims has consistently been that over 80% were female. I also find "initiate domestic violence" to be vague. Does the study define that more clearly? In any case, my real world experience has been much more in line with the statistics on this page: americanbar.org/groups/domestic_violence/resources/statistics.html. If we want to quote studies, though, we could be here for months. DV is too complex an issue (and studies have too many variables) to compile definitive statistics.
> 
> 
> 
> The full quote I believe you're referring to is "The police will seek out men who abuse their partners and arrest them, even if the victim refuses to make a statement or give evidence in court," and it's misleading for several reasons.
> 
> 
> In many U.S. states there are laws _requiring_ officers to make an arrest in incidents where DV is suspected. A complaining witness is not necessary. In cases of "he said, she said" the officer will have to make a very tough decision, which DOES involve arresting women, too. I know this to be a fact because I have personally seen it happen.
> The quote implies that a man will be arrested in all cases, solely because the police are sexist. Again, DV is a very complex issue, and it often involves emotional and financial components. A female victim who's clearly been beaten black, blue, and bloody may not want her abuser arrested because he is the sole source of income in the home, and thus him going to jail leaves the victim and any children without financial resources. The victim may also love the abuser and thus not want him arrested. In either case, the victim may refuse to give a statement, but if she has obviously been beaten, a police officer may choose to prioritize the victim's safety by arresting the abuser (assuming he can make that choice and is not bound by law to make an arrest).
> This quote also implies that all abusers are men, which I agree is inappropriate.
> My problem with your OP, however, was not that men are not victims, which I believe I made very clear in my first post. My problem was with your statements that male victims are never helped and that no one cares when they're the victims, which is simply not true. The general public is not well-informed when it comes to DV, which creates misconceptions like these, and which you are perpetuating with your negative and false claims. If you want to spread awareness on this subject then share what you know, rather than simply reinforcing the problem you're decrying. The people and ads in that video do not represent all domestic violence agencies, police forces, court systems, etc.
> 
> If you would like to continue this conversation, please feel free to PM me. I derailed this thread with my first post and don't want to continue doing so.


cop out. 
my statement wasn't based on a quote, it simply is how things are. 
"80% of victims are women"... I wonder why.


----------



## petite libellule

@*Mr. Meepers* :kitteh: and this is why I held off on responding to our last pow wow that overtook a thread, *giggling* ... 
I have a feeling that our conversations would go on for hours! Lol! ... Something about NFP's ... 
(I love them all so much because they are the only types that love to talk as much as me! :laughing


----------



## Philosophaser Song Boy

Agree with 18... Particularly since I am personally not very good in social situations. Buck up and ask guys out, I would truly appreciate concepts like that given my level of anxiety in social situations. Aren't the gender roles switching nowadays? :laughing:


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Ningsta Kitty said:


> @*Mr. Meepers* :kitteh: and this is why I held off on responding to our last pow wow that overtook a thread, *giggling* ...
> I have a feeling that our conversations would go on for hours! Lol! ... Something about NFP's ...
> (I love them all so much because they are the only types that love to talk as much as me! :laughing


Yay ^__^ ^__^ ... I feel all happy now ^__^


... Wait, we only took over one thread?!?!?! ... We lack ambition ... Let's take over all of PerC ... And then ... THE WORLD :crazy::crazy::crazy: ^__^

[HR][/HR]
Well, since I'm here:
Why am I single from a female's perspective:
Reason 1: You're Too "Fun" ... Yup. Check ^__^
Reason 7: You're Mentally Unstable ... Probably true :crazy::tongue:
Reason 8: You're Too Flirty ... Yup. Check :wink:
Reason 10: You're Too Nice ... Well, I am nice to look at :wink: ... but I'm pretty nice too ... although I can say "no" when I want to, I usually just don't want to 
Reason 13: You're Too... Male ... I hope I am ... although I'm more of a Meeper ^__^
Reason 18: You're Too Shy ... This might be true  ... sometimes it can take some time for me to be comfortable enough around someone to feel confident around them
Reason 20: You Pretend To Be Dumb ... I pretend to be smart :tongue:

It is a good thing I'm gender neutral, as that allows me to participate in both threads ... Right? ^__^


----------



## Particulate

I like how "Mentally Unstable" is on the women's list but not the men's list.

Lord knows I've put my dick in way, way more psychotic bitches than I have weird guys.


----------



## lhebakshyla

1. You are fat
2. You are unattractive
3. You really have issues that prevent you from getting intimate
4. You have hangups around men and sex
5. You really have nothing important to say... Men get bored.
6. You don't have a life of your own. Please... get one.
7. You think that just because you get a paycheck you are no longer needed to submit to a man. Sexual dance is still the key to chemistry. Your submission to my dominance is still the key to my heart and genitals.

But really, if you can't even get laid, then it's 1, 2 AND 3. A combo package you need to deal with.


----------



## bromide

lhebakshyla said:


> 7. You think that just because you get a paycheck you are no longer needed to submit to a man. Sexual dance is still the key to chemistry. Your submission to my dominance is still the key to my heart and genitals.


----------



## fihe

lhebakshyla said:


> 1. You are fat


number one rule: NO FAT CHICKS


----------



## Mr. Meepers

lhebakshyla said:


> 1. You are fat
> 2. You are unattractive
> 3. You really have issues that prevent you from getting intimate
> 4. You have hangups around men and sex
> 5. You really have nothing important to say... Men get bored.
> 6. You don't have a life of your own. Please... get one.
> 7. You think that just because you get a paycheck you are no longer needed to submit to a man. Sexual dance is still the key to chemistry. Your submission to my dominance is still the key to my heart and genitals.
> 
> But really, if you can't even get laid, then it's 1, 2 AND 3. A combo package you need to deal with.


^^ As a man (by sex/biology) who is attracted to woman ... this post bothers me lol

- Plenty of "fat" woman are very attractive. (but yes, there are people who won't look twice at someone who is overweight)
- "Attractive" means different things to different people ... and there is a lot more to attraction than just the physical (although, if you push people away, it is hard to have a relationship with someone lol) ... but I have been very attracted to women who I originally thought were physically unattractive (granted, I had to get to know them first) and I have seen women I thought that were "unattractive" in relationships
But, if you have not gotten close to someone who finds you to be attractive, then you will probably be single

The first two, one could read as "you don't meet society's physical standards of 'attractiveness'" ... which, ime is pretty low on why women are single (although not having confidence in yourself because of your physical appearance does seem to get in the way ... talk about being given mixed messages lol  ). I have had many female friends think they are "unattractive" (physically) or "fat" when they were not ... and they were physically aesthetically pleasing (good looking) and physically they were sexy (they were emotionally beautiful too ^__^) ... but they placed so much of their self-worth on their looks, which is a shame because they have so much more to offer the world ... and they have so much more to offer to the people they love and will love ... They had (and still have) minds and hearts of their own ... and yes, they all were able to have multiple boyfriends too (not at the same time lol)

3-6) I don't know a lot of people (including woman) who are like that ... Personally, I really like emotional intimacy and not all men want sex (especially men who are asexual) and not all women want men :wink: (or just men) .... And if someone has something to say, more than likely it is important to them ... so it you don't find it important, then you might not be compatible, or the topic is way outside of your interests, or you don't value her thoughts, opinions, and ideas. ... Woman can be just as interesting as men, and men can be just as interesting as women ... so many people in the world are interesting, you just need to listen ^__^ (and/or watch)

7) ... Um ... no ... that maybe true for you and your tastes, but no one should have to "submit" to their partner if they don't want to ... I think of a relationship have being between two people who view each other as equals and both of their needs and wants are equally important. One partner maybe better a something than the other and maybe more dominant in that on aspect, but maybe more submissive in another (although, I hope they talk out and reach an agreement on all major decisions)
That being said, not all men are dominant either ... there are a lot of men who are submissive and are attracted to more dominant woman (not to be confused with strong ... to me dominance and strength are two different things ... I like both, but for different reasons ... I sexually want a little dominance lol ... but I admire and respect someone who is emotionally strong and they appear more beautiful to me)
So many men that we will see big movies where a dominant woman in a cat suit and whip, in leather, has huge sex appeal (I did not see that movie lol ... but from the commercials you could tell)

Woman and men ... People come in all shapes and sizes and are attracted to a whole lot of things ... Now there are reasons why people are single ... and what you said may play a role, but I think your reason usually play a much smaller role and/or affect a very small portion of the population.

In my perception of my experience, it seems like big reasons that some woman (not all ... I hope I don't sound like I am making sweeping remarks because that would not be what I mean) are single are because some of them don't want to make the first move or put themselves out there (I had a female friend tell me that men should be the ones to ask women out and make the first move because possible rejection is scary ... lol, but I'm scared too ... I'm a human and I have feelings like every other human lol ... Okay, humans have feelings was a sweeping statement that I plan to stick by, except with very rare individuals where they had a known psychological disorder) .... some don't want a relationship too 

Oh ........ and who said it was about getting laid??? (there is nothing wrong with that, and for some people, that may be what it is about) .... Getting laid is nice, and (if you want sex) it can be good for a relationship, but there is more than sex in many relationships. There is emotional intimacy (I've heard that sex may not be that good for some if there is no emotion intimacy ... I have also heard that sex can be great for expressing emotional intimacy and be very important to a relationship among sexual people ..... I don't claim to have have enough experience to tell you nor am I more than one person, so I'll say in may vary between person to person what they want and need from a relationship)


----------



## Sapphyreopal5

Clearly the sexist post that the last few posters have been refuting is a troll. If we ignore that post, their troll won't work :wink: If everyone keeps refuting the post, that means their troll has worked (and is working right now as we speak).


----------



## Yardiff Bey

Ran across another girl who turned out to be like this:

* takes any slight miscommunication in the worst possible light

Then either:

a) attempts to browbeat you into submission ("How dare you act like that...!" scream, bitch, yell)

b) attempts to passive-aggressively shame you into submission ("I don't understand how you could..." whine, whinge, blubber)

Both versions of the above are attempted emotional manipulation. Good luck, doesn't work with some types.


----------



## TriggerHappy923

*Reason 4: You're Too Picky.
*100%*
Reason 5: You Have A Bad Attitude.
*Probably...*
Reason 7: You're Mentally Unstable.
*Probably... yeah
*Reason 13: You're Too... Male
*I'm no Se type, but I do think like a guy... or so my male friends have told me. It could be that I'm not feminine enough(whatever the heck it is that society even determines to be considered "feminine")
*Reason 14: You're High-Maintenance.
*If I am ever with any one, I just want him to at least have a plan, not major in music. Apparently that might be asking a bit much.
*Reason 15: You're Too Distant.
*I'm afraid I would have a hard time keeping up or replying back. I don't even do that for my own family or friends. I don't like to be smothered.
*Reason 18: You're Too Shy.
*Yeah, possibly it could come across that way.
*Reason 19: You're A Slob.
*I take showers, I do my make-up.... BUT I don't take care about nails, don't curl my hair or use any hair products(but shampoo and condition), don't moisturize, don't clean my car, not always sure how long pants have been laying on the floor... rarely wash pants,... etc. 
8 out of 20 reason... Oh well! No one's disappointed.


----------



## loving2011

How about:

1) You can't decide between whether you want to be with a man or a woman.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

*You're Too "Fun":* We need to talk.
*You're a Party Girl:* I know what you did last summer.
*Your Friends Are Complete Bitches:* One smile, the rest evil eyes.
*You're Too Picky:* You know that thing you hate about your body? I love it.
*You Have A Bad Attitude:* If you don't smile I'm going to tickle you.
*You're Still In Love With Your Ex:* I'm here now.
*You're Mentally Unstable:* Medication may help.
*You're Too Flirty:* Who are you trying to impress?
*You're Too Fast To Get Into Bed With:* Good movie. What's next?
*You're Too Nice:* What do you want to do?
*You Have A Jealous Ex-Lover:* I don't want to kill anyone.
*You Are Self-Destructive:* I can't trust you.
*You're Too... Male:* Not looking for a clone.
*You're High-Maintenance:* Enjoy the simple things.
*You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant:* Work and play.
*You Nag Too Much: *How can I fix it?
*You're Abusive:* I can't trust you.
*You're Too Shy:* I still think you're cute. Have a good night.
*You're A Slob:* Well, we could shower together.
*You Pretend To Be Dumb: *So, who is the real you?

New Years Resolution time girls. Time to become women (again).


----------



## Mr. Meepers

loving2011 said:


> How about:
> 
> 1) You can't decide between whether you want to be with a man or a woman.



Why not both :kitteh::tongue:


----------



## fihe

loving2011 said:


> How about:
> 
> 1) You can't decide between whether you want to be with a man or a woman.


even though I think men can be annoying, women are even more so. I could never have a homosexual relationship for this reason. Lol.


----------



## Dewymorning

Where is the 'because you want to be single' option?


----------



## Shadowlight

What if I choose to be single because I have better things to do in life than be in a relationship?


----------



## Veggie

ForsakenMe said:


> *Reason 9: You're Too Fast To Get Into Bed With.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Ain't nothing wrong with being proud of your body and sexuality... However, it is been said for so long that in the dating world, getting in bed with a man before the 3rd date and beyond will strip away all the mystery, and the guy losing interest. It sucks, but learn to be a little patient, and focus on your guy instead of his schling-schlong; THAT comes later, and the anticipation will be worth it in the end, promise!_


I don't know if that statement should end with the word "promise". I also don't know if "your guy" is the proper way to label someone with whom you've only been on a couple of dates. It makes it sound like women are running around with clubs trying to secure a relationship with every man they go out with. Sex is not a gift to men from women, wrapped in a bow, adorned with the tag "Please like me, please like me, please like me". You can tell a lot about someone by how they are physically with you (selfish, lazy, soulful, fun, generous). What you learn isn't always best kept a mystery, and sometimes we lose interest after solving it too. Physical intimacy should be organic and situational.


----------



## Gantz

*Reason 13: You're Too... Male.
*I disagree strongly with this one, I would love to date a girl who's into video games and laid back when it comes to fancy clothes/make up.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

Gantz said:


> *Reason 13: You're Too... Male.
> *I disagree strongly with this one, I would love to date a girl who's into video games and laid back when it comes to fancy clothes/make up.


I think what it's getting as it when she burps the alphabet, she pees her name in the snow, and when she's cleaning the closet she finds a bag and asks you to smell it. If when she gets out of bed in the morning she takes a shirt off of a pile of dirty cloths on the floor, smells it, and puts it on, she's too male for me.

Too Male:


----------



## hela

HonestAndTrue said:


> I think what it's getting as it when she burps the alphabet, she pees her name in the snow, and when she's cleaning the closet she finds a bag and asks you to smell it. I*f when she gets out of bed in the morning she takes a shirt off of a pile of dirty cloths on the floor, smells it, and puts it on, she's too male for me.*


Sometimes I'm just in a hurry, okay.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

hela said:


> Sometimes I'm just in a hurry, okay.


I know, but now half my shirts are at your place. And it's not like I can wear your shirts.


----------



## hela

HonestAndTrue said:


> I know, but now half my shirts are at your place. And it's not like I can wear your shirts.


Are you saying you're too muscular to fit into my band shirts


----------



## Gantz

HonestAndTrue said:


> I think what it's getting as it when she burps the alphabet, she pees her name in the snow, and when she's cleaning the closet she finds a bag and asks you to smell it. If when she gets out of bed in the morning she takes a shirt off of a pile of dirty cloths on the floor, smells it, and puts it on, she's too male for me.


Everything there except for burping the alphabet I'd be fine with, seems like an interesting girl. I like interesting, what I don't like is people who are simply clones of everyone else around them, which most people seem to be.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

hela said:


> Are you saying you're too muscular to fit into my band shirts


Maybe.


----------



## VamPie

Reason no 1 makes me think.


----------



## RetroVortex

Gantz said:


> Everything there except for burping the alphabet I'd be fine with, seems like an interesting girl. I like interesting, what I don't like is people who are simply clones of everyone else around them, which most people seem to be.


I'd just burp back the alphabet! 
Infact, lets make it a game! XD
who ever gets to z first gets to decide what we do next! ;D
XD


----------



## infpaul

HonestAndTrue said:


> I think what it's getting as it when she burps the alphabet, she pees her name in the snow, and when she's cleaning the closet she finds a bag and asks you to smell it. If when she gets out of bed in the morning she takes a shirt off of a pile of dirty cloths on the floor, smells it, and puts it on, she's too male for me.


sounds like the perfect woman, where can I find her?


----------



## dragonheartedgirl

Please tell me someone has ripped this steaming pile of sexist bullshit to shreds. Please.


----------



## Fleetfoot

New Reason:


----------



## SophiaMarie

ForsakenMe said:


> *Reason 1: You're Too "Fun".*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Everybody likes a funny lady... However, there is such thing as being too funny. If you don't take life or yourself seriously at all, how will you expect for men to take YOU seriously at all? You can crack jocks from time to time, but when the situation calls for being serious, lay away the Dane Cook jokes for a while._
> 
> 
> *Reason 4: You're Too Picky.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Your perfect guy: Athletic, super-genius, has the artistic talents of Picasso, as handsome as Brad Pitt, and has more money than God. Realize that nobody will ever be perfect, and that you need to take in the guy's flaws as well as his good points. Chill!_
> 
> 
> *Reason 7: You're Mentally Unstable.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Whether you're just mildly depressed, or severely schizophrenic with a sociopathic personality... Your mental illness will frustrate and may even scare men away, even if they do love you to bits. Solution? Go get professional help before you can even THINK about dating again. You deserve to be happy and healthy... And your relationships will turn COMPLETELY better for everyone involved._
> 
> *Reason 8: You're Too Flirty.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Flirting is a great way to meet and have fun with men. Once you're in a relationship, though, you may need to cut this out when you are with other males. Flirting with your (Or God forbid, his!) male friends is just asking for a dumping... Either stop this bad habit, or enjoy being a flirt... For the rest of your life._
> 
> 
> *Reason 10: You're Too Nice.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Yes! Even women can be "the nice guy"! Remember that while being laid-back, sweet and giving are some great traits that men can find in a woman, it's also okay to think for yourself and to say "No" every once in a while to your guy... He is not your whole world, and growing a little back bone can make you even MORE attractive in his eyes._
> 
> *Reason 11: You Have A Jealous Ex-Lover.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _We all have one... That stupid ex-boyfriend of ours who can never get the clue that it's over between the two of you, or the guy you had a short fling with can't fathom the idea of you dating other guys. Men who find threatening or overly sexual messages from the ex on your phone will not be pleased, and may consider second thoughts. It's not that you are not worthy of fighting for... They just don't want unnecessary drama in their lives. And who can blame them? Tell your crazy exes to kick rocks and leave you the hell alone... Or maybe you enjoy making men jealous because you are insecure or have a thirst for drama?_
> 
> 
> *Reason 13: You're Too... Male.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Listen, there's nothing wrong with pursuing sports or video games. Heck, there's nothing wrong with having fun and getting down and dirty... However, being exactly the same as his male friend replica is just asking for getting invited to the dreaded "friendzone". Ever heard of guys describing one of their female friends, who happens to wrestle buff men for fun, as "the sister they never had"? Yeah, it ain't pretty! Remember to get in touch with your feminine side as well! Burping, farting, having body odor, not shaving, and dressing like a dude is just too much for a heterosexual guy to handle._
> 
> 
> *Reason 15: You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Your man has a life, and you need to focus on yours! Get some new friends, get a job, or pursue some interesting hobbies. In the same token, remember to spend some time with your significant other; Your friends/job/hobbies/etc can't take up ALL of your time, unless you enjoy being a busy, SINGLE lady!_
> 
> 
> *Reason 18: You're Too Shy.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Men aren't always the initiator to everything, so sometimes, you're going to have to buck up and ask him out first! Confidence is sexy, and men will appreciate you making the first move; It's a breath of fresh air!_


I knew all this stuff already, I'm working on it, okay?! Okay. As for being too "male" I grew up as a tomboy and I'm still learning exactly what it means to be a "lady". Though I think my definition may always be a little different than what's traditional...


----------



## SophiaMarie

infpaul said:


> sounds like the perfect woman, where can I find her?


*ahem* I'm right here *ahem* I'm always the most stereotypical "male" out of my girl friends... The thing is I don't see myself that way... I'm definitely a woman, I'm just very free spirited.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Yeah ... I like how these "20 reasons why you are single men/women" assume all men want the same thing and that all women want the same thing (or at the very least "most" ___ want the same thing) ... and It feels like it is saying there is something wrong with you if you can't match the other gender's desires lol ... it also assumes one is single because they are not desirable .... and then the reasons can be insulting ... One of the top twenty reasons for women is not being mentally stable - really? That is in the top 20 lol, I would have thought a very, very small portion of the population is unstable lol ... and being "too much like a man" - yeah for trying to enforce gender stereotype lol.

My point is ... you are all beautiful as you are ^__^



* *





Did I just flirt with every woman on this thread? Can I flirt with every woman on this thread? :crazy:
Just kidding lol (I did not) 


What? I like to make a joke from time to time ... and I thought it was funny ... making fun of the stereotype that all men want to be with all women

But I stand by my text outside the spoiler ... just not the text in the spoiler lol


----------



## infpaul

SophiaMarie said:


> *ahem* I'm right here *ahem* I'm always the most stereotypical "male" out of my girl friends... The thing is I don't see myself that way... I'm definitely a woman, I'm just very free spirited.


...and I've always found ISFPs so easy to get on with.....problem is we've got a few things working against us; firstly the Atlantic Ocean and secondly the age gap thing! Never stop being your own woman @SophiaMarie lack of pretence is a rare and wonderful thing in this day and age!


----------



## SophiaMarie

infpaul said:


> ...and I've always found ISFPs so easy to get on with.....problem is we've got a few things working against us; firstly the Atlantic Ocean and secondly the age gap thing! Never stop being your own woman @_SophiaMarie_ lack of pretence is a rare and wonderful thing in this day and age!


haha well age and distance is no real boundary, true love will prevail!  In all seriousness, I'm glad you appreciate people like me. In society it seems we're either loved, or we're not taken seriously and people try to "fix us". Especially obvious everyday things like my disdain for footwear (barefoot is the only way to be!) and inability to stay focused on rules or goals of outward sources (if we can live without that rule, why is it there?) and just my absolute zest and thirst for life. I never seem to be satisfied, always moving on to the next experience, absorbing every detail and letting it become part of me. I could never fully conform to stereotypes because I would die inside...


----------



## infpaul

SophiaMarie said:


> haha well age and distance is no real boundary, true love will prevail!  In all seriousness, I'm glad you appreciate people like me. In society it seems we're either loved, or we're not taken seriously and people try to "fix us". Especially obvious everyday things like my disdain for footwear (barefoot is the only way to be!) and inability to stay focused on rules or goals of outward sources (if we can live without that rule, why is it there?) and just my absolute zest and thirst for life. I never seem to be satisfied, always moving on to the next experience, absorbing every detail and letting it become part of me. I could never fully conform to stereotypes because I would die inside...


Goodness me! you should know that for us INFPs, authenticity is quite possibly the greatest aphrodisiac!

Make sure you don't get 'fixed' SophiaMarie!


----------



## Koukol

SophiaMarie said:


> I could never fully conform to stereotypes because I would die inside...


And I wouldn't find there to be any mystery in dating a girl who sticks to all these rules.


----------



## VioletTru

ForsakenMe said:


> Reason 5: You Have A Bad Attitude.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Overly-complaint, demanding, controlling, always putting everyone down, insecure with self, can never take a joke, has the tendency to scowl and sneer at everyone... Rings a bell?


 This just me (I can't speak for all women), but right now I'm thinking: "What's the point of having a relationship when there's possibly a smarter, prettier, funnier, more laid-back, more diligent, kinder, and friendlier version of me out there? What if he meets her?" There's no point to it if I'm going to be insecure. Additionally, I have a hard time maintaining friendships and lack a support system.

And excuse me for the following rant, but why do women have to wear certain clothes and put on 'natural' makeup in order to be considered 'attractive' in the eyes of many (not all) men? I don't do it everyday because it's tedious and tiresome. In addition, women with certain facial features, body proportions and personalities will generally garner the most attention, even from people who already are in relationships. I'm sorry, but I can't change the fact that I'll probably never be considered for a 'Maxim' photoshoot or a chance to become a 'L'Oreal' face model. And I can't magically become more outgoing, flirty, and high-maintenance either, because that's just not who I am. In my insecure mind, I can't be good enough for a man no matter how many times he tells me that I'm "the most beautiful woman" (inside and out), because both he and I will secretly know that that's highly unlikely.

I honestly wish that I could simply not give a damn. But I can't. Western society only seems to cater to specific kinds of women. It's evident in the media and among the general population. No matter how 'fantastic' I may objectively look or no matter how 'awesome' I subjectively feel, I don't believe I'll get a break from it most of the time.


----------



## sean2724

My favorites in no order are:
Too fun
Party girl
Too picky
Bad attitude
Too distant
Nags too much
Abusive
Slob

I completely disagree with too nice. I'll never encounter that I think.


----------



## FootSoldier

"Too Male"
hahahahaha ha. What? No "Too Female"?

I'm sorry, but I think this post in general is really offensive to women. 

There is nothing wrong with your upper lip hair, cargo pants, or hormonal swings- it's called a period because its cyclical and your hormones, which affect your feelings, CYCLE periodically.

Trying to conform to these ideals like they are the bible only reinforces the ridiculously high standard, further convincing men that such an ideal actually exists, and that they should expect it. 

You are fantanstic. Most of you are not any more insecure or needy than constitutes the disposition that is assigned by the biochemical nature of your sex. And if you are, its because you've made yourself nuts by trying to uphold all of the paradoxes listed on this thread.

Nobody is perfect, but if you seek growth, forget the items in this thread and seek balance in everything you do instead. If you do too much of ____, then yeah, this is probably why you are single. The dose makes the poison.

I'm with ForsakenMe, and just about everyone else who finds this thread bigoted and hypocritical.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

FootSoldier said:


> I'm sorry, but I think this post in general is really offensive to women.
> Nobody is perfect, but if you seek growth


Can you see the OP as a means of showing you and other women how to seek growth?

I would think an ENFJ, a Giver, would look at this with optimism, an inspiration to become better, not as pessimism, something to attack and dig your heals in to rebel against. Maybe Fe vs Fi.

I agree that nobody is perfect and we should seek growth. I view this, and the 20 reasons why you're still single men as a wake up call and a means to seek growth. Not as offensive, bigoted, or hypocritical, but instead a helping hand for those who are ready to take it and are ready to not be single anymore.

Then again I'm an eternal optimist.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

HonestAndTrue said:


> Can you see the OP as a means of showing you and other women how to seek growth?


Honestly, for the 20 reasons you're still single men thread, I saw it as a way to laugh. I mean a couple of things I needed to improve (maybe), but most of it was targeting someone for being different and not following social norms lol. .. And the things I needed growth with, I doubt they belonged on the top 20 list lol ... and I doubt there are that many mentally unstable/ill women that "Reason 7: You're Mentally Unstable." belongs on the list lol.

I'm fairly secure with myself, so I can laugh at most of these "rules" that I break lol, but I don't think these lists inspire growth. If anything, I would say they undo growth by creating unnecessary insecurities. 
Now, a part of growth is learning to work and get along with others, I agree to that ... But, another part of growth is accepting who you are and realizing that you are already beautiful (yes, @HonestAndTrue, I called you beautiful as well ^__^). You should not change your core self because that is how others want you to be, you should be who you are and grow from there. If a woman has a personality that is too "masculine", I'm sure there are a lot of "feminine" "guys" out there (like me ^__^) who would find her attractive as she is. She does not need to change herself to find a partner, she just should look for someone she is compatible with ^__^ ... and who says you need to be in a relationship anyway?



> I would think an ENFJ, a Giver, would look at this with optimism, an inspiration to become better, not as pessimism, something to attack and dig your heals in to rebel against. Maybe Fe vs Fi.


Nah, I'm an Fi also and I have been accused (many times) of being too optimistic (and even an eternal optimistic lol). I think it has more to do with different personal values and, perhaps, a different outlook on the world itself.



> I agree that nobody is perfect and we should seek growth. I view this, and the 20 reasons why you're still single men as a wake up call and a means to seek growth. Not as offensive, bigoted, or hypocritical, but instead a helping hand for those who are ready to take it and are ready to not be single anymore.


Nah :tongue:, I see it as a way to enforce unnecessary social norms. If you are really, "guilty" of several of these "rules", you can still find someone (many people) that will find you attractive because you don't meet those "rules" ... Besides, do you really want to act like someone else to get in a relationship? That does not sound like a healthy foundation for a relationship to me lol.



> Then again I'm an eternal optimist.


:wink:


----------



## Bricolage

> _Ain't nothing wrong with being proud of your body and sexuality... However, it is been said for so long that in the dating world, getting in bed with a man before the 3rd date and beyond will strip away all the mystery, and the guy losing interest. It sucks, but learn to be a little patient, and focus on your guy instead of his schling-schlong; THAT comes later, and the anticipation will be worth it in the end, promise!_


That's an interesting one. If I intuit that she's more into following some rule (3rd date) than doing what feels right, I might get bored. :crying:


----------



## wiarumas

unctuousbutler said:


> That's an interesting one. If I intuit that she's more into following some rule (3rd date) than doing what feels right, I might get bored. :crying:


I believe that's the point. If you get bored of her that easily, you likely will not survive a lifelong relationship. It's not so much about following a rule to add mystery but to weed out candidates who you don't share enough connection with to not last 3 dates without sex.


----------



## TriggerHappy923

I showed up to my class early and some guy sitting next to me from the class before asked me... about something about my class time. I said 4 (that's when it started). He said, "No, when does it end." Me-"oooooh, 6." And I continued with my Microsoft assignment. 

The question is...
I just thought of it now(4 hours later)... but was he hitting on me? I wouldn't know who he was even if I saw him again. Please tell me I'm wrong and that I'm not SO friggin clueless? If so this is why maybe I'm not dating... because I don't pay attention... am I oblivious?... though... he could have been a rapist... and I told this guy what time a get out... *face palm*:bored::frustrating:
I am so oblivious... THIS is why I'm single.


----------



## Mantis

I guess I am too shy, or just totally in my head. I don't socialize at all. I've got 2 distant friends I've known since 1st grade, and we meet less than once a month to go out for a drink, or something..and we live in the same town;granted at least one of them usually has a boyfriend who keeps her busy, anyway..
Other than that, I'm also a slob, I guess. Or I probably seem that way, because I'm overweight. I do shower daily, but my room is a mess, and I'm generally a disorganized mess(add?). I've actually been thinking about this lately...I'll turn 24 next month, and have never even kissed a guy. I'm probably the most "virgin" of all the virgins I've met after the 6th grade..lol.


----------



## dizzycactus

Mantis said:


> I guess I am too shy, or just totally in my head. I don't socialize at all. I've got 2 distant friends I've known since 1st grade, and we meet less than once a month to go out for a drink, or something..and we live in the same town;granted at least one of them usually has a boyfriend who keeps her busy, anyway..
> Other than that, I'm also a slob, I guess. Or I probably seem that way, because I'm overweight. I do shower daily, but my room is a mess, and I'm generally a disorganized mess(add?). I've actually been thinking about this lately...I'll turn 24 next month, and have never even kissed a guy. I'm probably the most "virgin" of all the virgins I've met after the 6th grade..lol.


I know a guy who's 52 and has never kissed a girl. 

I've only ever kissed one girl, myself. I figure I'm either too shy as well, or ugly, or a combination.


----------



## Death Persuades

TriggerHappy923 said:


> I showed up to my class early and some guy sitting next to me from the class before asked me... about something about my class time. I said 4 (that's when it started). He said, "No, when does it end." Me-"oooooh, 6." And I continued with my Microsoft assignment.
> 
> The question is...
> I just thought of it now(4 hours later)... but was he hitting on me? I wouldn't know who he was even if I saw him again. Please tell me I'm wrong and that I'm not SO friggin clueless? If so this is why maybe I'm not dating... because I don't pay attention... am I oblivious?... though... he could have been a rapist... and I told this guy what time a get out... *face palm*:bored::frustrating:
> I am so oblivious... THIS is why I'm single.


Hm, he may not have been flirting. most guys a my school are a lot more blatant. I observe *ahem* stalk *ahem* them a lot so I can try to learn proper male behaviour... LOL


----------



## Mantis

52? wow. Maybe he's gay. I always thought the whole dating/losing virginity thing is easier for guys. I mean, what do you have to worry about, anyway? 
If you go ask a girl out, the worst she can do is reject you, and if she does, so what? lol. You can try over and over again..the point is, as a boy, you're expected to ask girls out. On the other hand, if you're a girl, and ask a boy out, and he rejects you, you will look like 10 times a bigger fool, and possibly a skank.lol
Same with the virginity thing..girls have to worry about it being extremely painful, plus pregnancy, plus being embarassed about being naked in front of a guy, plus being careful she doesn't look like she enjoys it, if she does, cause then she'll seem like a skank, again..seriously..it's like a lose-lose situation for women.

All-in-alll, being single wouldn't bother me at all if I didn't feel like there was a huge pressure on me to get a boyfriend. The worst parts of it are things like..it's way more dangerous for a girl to travel alone, which means you can't just go places and do whatever you want, without being worried about stalkers/predators etc. Going places alone again seems controversial..even walking the streets alone, at night..I should just get a Doberman, and a swiss army knife, probably, and learn to defend myself.
Plus I know of so many girls who are in relationships with guys for precisely above-mentioned reasons..they like to have a guy to drive them around when they wanna go places, they like to have someone to go on vacation with..I even know a girl who blatantly said it like it is:"I sleep with him, he supports me. I need to get out of my parents place and I can't get a job until I finish Med school." ahaha. Oh, and the same girl also said something like "I was very happy when I lost my virginity, cause I could finally use internal tampons" obviously implying she isn't thrilled about sleeping with the guy.


----------



## Mantis

dizzycactus said:


> I know a guy who's 52 and has never kissed a girl.
> 
> I've only ever kissed one girl, myself. I figure I'm either too shy as well, or ugly, or a combination.


PS. Did you mean 52, or 5'2?:tongue:


----------



## TriggerHappy923

josue0098 said:


> Hm, he may not have been flirting. most guys a my school are a lot more blatant. I observe *ahem* stalk *ahem* them a lot so I can try to learn proper male behavior... LOL


Your answer makes me happy though, he probably wasn't. He doesn't worry me, I worry me... I'm worried that I'm just too naive when it comes to flirtation. I've had a guy ask me what I was doing this weekend... that's a little obvious... but IDK... I think it's just such a foreign concept to me. I guess I just figure and have it in my head, "Why would some one? You must be too high on yourself _My_name_."

My friends always tell me guys are looking at me or "some guy saw you and he got bright big smile on his face." I never see that, it never fails, I'm always looking in another direction and miss it. I am not even sure if I really believe it. I really think women are delusional as to what they are seeing. I see these girls thinking one glance at them is a sign of flirtation and I don't see it, I just see a bunch of females that are full of themselves thinking they are... I've been hearing "A Hot mess." a lot lately. 

Is there more about this concept of blatant male behavior or even the female behavior? How do the women react? And what part of the country is it? *gets note paper and pencil ready.* :laughing:


----------



## dizzycactus

Mantis said:


> PS. Did you mean 52, or 5'2?:tongue:


52.

all those things you mentioned are just imagined. no one thinks a girl is a skank for enjoying it. they want them to enjoy it. a man has much more to be embarrassed about naked, with ow some women judge penis size and stuff like that.
i would love a girl to ask me out. being asked out is much much easier than having to do it yourself. i have never asked a girl out. i'm afraid she would just laugh at me, or find me disgusting or...

there is nothing particularly wrong with the guy. women have just never given him a chance, because he's not particularly good looking or wealthy, or confident, though he has asked plenty out.


----------



## Mantis

dizzycactus said:


> 52.
> 
> all those things you mentioned are just imagined. no one thinks a girl is a skank for enjoying it. they want them to enjoy it. a man has much more to be embarrassed about naked, with ow some women judge penis size and stuff like that.
> i would love a girl to ask me out. being asked out is much much easier than having to do it yourself. i have never asked a girl out. i'm afraid she would just laugh at me, or find me disgusting or...
> 
> there is nothing particularly wrong with the guy. women have just never given him a chance, because he's not particularly good looking or wealthy, or confident, though he has asked plenty out.


Hmm..may I ask what he does for a living? Also, maybe the guy himself is too picky..like if he only goes for women under 35, it's no wonder..lol.

Also, how old are you? Never asked a girl out..hmm.
What you said made me think...but nah, I couldn't ask a guy out..ok, maybe after I lose another 15 kilos. I like this guy, who is 4.5 years younger than I am..and to be honest, I never thought I'd like a guy who is younger, but he's just so cute..and not a dumb-ass, unlike most of the guys I've ever met. we go to college together, except I started it at 23, and he started it at 19...


----------



## Death Persuades

TriggerHappy923 said:


> Your answer makes me happy though, he probably wasn't. He doesn't worry me, I worry me... I'm worried that I'm just too naive when it comes to flirtation. I've had a guy ask me what I was doing this weekend... that's a little obvious... but IDK... I think it's just such a foreign concept to me. I guess I just figure and have it in my head, "Why would some one? You must be too high on yourself _My_name_."
> 
> My friends always tell me guys are looking at me or "some guy saw you and he got bright big smile on his face." I never see that, it never fails, I'm always looking in another direction and miss it. I am not even sure if I really believe it. I really think women are delusional as to what they are seeing. I see these girls thinking one glance at them is a sign of flirtation and I don't see it, I just see a bunch of females that are full of themselves thinking they are... I've been hearing "A Hot mess." a lot lately.
> 
> Is there more about this concept of blatant male behavior or even the female behavior? How do the women react? And what part of the country is it? *gets note paper and pencil ready.* :laughing:


I live in New England. The males I've observed have ranged from passive flirting (Indirect; cheesy pick up lines), to just plain out "You're hot. Wanna go out?" But middle ground is a lot more common... Probably like 70% of guys I've observed are in between that. I'm obviously not talking about the shy ones that are too scared to. Just the ones that actually flirt. 

The ones that seem to be most successful are the ones that are more passive-aggressive... Like... They make it known to the girl that she is liked, but without actually saying it. One of them actually did ask a girl "hey, so what are you gonna do this weekend?". I guess he was in one of her classes, asked her something about a class and shortly after asked that. She said nothing and asked him if he wanted to hang out. 

Usually women seem uninterested. Probably slightly more than half the times they say they have to go to class or go to work. But this is more often something that happens to the super obvious guys that obviously just want sex. It also happens to the obviously shy guy who seemed to have mustered the courage of three years to use a pick up line on a girl, but his nervousness and lack of confidence were a turn off. 

I must seem like a creep by now, eh? Knowledge is power! xP

Girls don't generally flirt in this school. They mostly just talk with other girls, males they seemed to know for a long time, or are studying or in class. Or maybe I haven't been paying as much attention to what girls do to flirt with guys. 

I think the best method of flirting I've seen, and this will sound cheesy, is to just be yourself and not ask for a date or to hang out too soon. Better too late than too soon. Idk if this answers your questions, but I guess you can ask more lol. or not. I feel like a huge creep now XD


----------



## dizzycactus

Mantis said:


> Hmm..may I ask what he does for a living? Also, maybe the guy himself is too picky..like if he only goes for women under 35, it's no wonder..lol.
> 
> Also, how old are you? Never asked a girl out..hmm.
> What you said made me think...but nah, I couldn't ask a guy out..ok, maybe after I lose another 15 kilos. I like this guy, who is 4.5 years younger than I am..and to be honest, I never thought I'd like a guy who is younger, but he's just so cute..and not a dumb-ass, unlike most of the guys I've ever met. we go to college together, except I started it at 23, and he started it at 19...


no, he's pretty reasonable, in all respects. I don't think he has a job at the moment. He used to. He says he's not really in a good place for his age at the moment, expected to be successful by his age. 

I'm 21.


----------



## VamPie

TriggerHappy923 said:


> Your answer makes me happy though, he probably wasn't. He doesn't worry me, I worry me... I'm worried that I'm just too naive when it comes to flirtation. I've had a guy ask me what I was doing this weekend... that's a little obvious... but IDK... I think it's just such a foreign concept to me. I guess I just figure and have it in my head, "Why would some one? You must be too high on yourself _My_name_."
> 
> My friends always tell me guys are looking at me or "some guy saw you and he got bright big smile on his face." I never see that, it never fails, I'm always looking in another direction and miss it. I am not even sure if I really believe it. I really think women are delusional as to what they are seeing. I see these girls thinking one glance at them is a sign of flirtation and I don't see it, I just see a bunch of females that are full of themselves thinking they are... I've been hearing "A Hot mess." a lot lately.


I miss it often, as well, not because I have low self-esteem, but because normally I don't pay attention to what strangers do, especially on the street, I don't even recognise people I know. 

I had a funny incident when a friend of a friend, who I didn't know, confided to my friend that I like him or something and said I smile to him sexily every time I see him. I seriously didn't even know how he looked like and definitely didn't smile to him. That would be about being delusional. 

Oh, I have a creepy habit of walking around with a smile on my face (when I feel happy or I think about something funny) which sometimes may cause confusion, because some people tend to think it means I like them etc, while actually I don't give a damn.  Actually I should stop, because I'm often approached by beggars and other annoying people who think I'm a nice lady who would give them money or provide a time-killing conversation, bleh. However I noticed it helps when I quickly drop my smile while they speak, lol.


----------



## TriggerHappy923

josue0098 said:


> I must seem like a creep by now, eh?
> Girls don't generally flirt in this school. Idk if this answers your questions, but I guess you can ask more lol. or not. I feel like a huge creep now XD


Nah, you are not a creep. You are just what they would call a wallflower. It sounds like your school is pretty conservative. How do YOU get along there. Not to pry, just curious. :happy:



VamPie said:


> I don't even recognise people I know.
> That would be about being delusional.
> *Oh, I have a creepy habit of walking around with a smile on my face (when I feel happy or I think about something funny) which sometimes may cause confusion, because some people tend to think it means I like them etc, while actually I don't give a damn. *


Same for me when it comes to not recognizing people. I had a midterm accelerated English class turns out in the middle of the term of English one girl told me that she was from my math class and the guy sitting in front of me was from the math class too. She said she always sat behind me. I was in shock. Then the guy... he had huge classes and looked young, I just never noticed him tell that girl pointed him out... I was just... wow.:laughing:

I Jeeze! I do that. I think of something funny and of course I think I'm so friggin hilarious I walk with a big dumb smile but people get the wrong idea. Or I remember something witty or some stupid interaction with friends. It's bad... I'm always in my head though...


----------



## Death Persuades

TriggerHappy923 said:


> Nah, you are not a creep. You are just what they would call a wallflower. It sounds like your school is pretty conservative. How do YOU get along there. Not to pry, just curious. :happy:


I don't fit in very well... Nobody talks to me :/ I looked up wallflower and it made me smile


----------



## Nick Carraway

hope things get better for you guys


----------



## kitty3

thank you for the info-


----------



## Pyromaniac

ForsakenMe said:


> *Reason 17: You're Abusive.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _It is NEVER okay to hit a man. Ever. Domestic violence is very serious, and your man should never be your personal punching bag for all the issues that you possess._


YES. 
70% of domestic violence cases where only one partner is abusive, is female, but every man and woman are under the delusion that when it's abusive, it's male, thanks to the constant villainization of men in the media). Women today need to rid themselves of the mindset that just because they can't do any SERIOUS damage to a male, it's perfectly fine to swing your hand at them over minor things, many of which shouldn't even be their concern. But if he retaliates or even defends himself, he's the scum of the earth, and you'll cry wolf.


----------



## Pyromaniac

Instant turn offs-
Sexist remarks, such as relating males to animals, or mass generalizations ("all boys are the same" not only displays sexism, but severe unintelligence.)
Celebrity crushes and otherwise being attracted to another person. 
Lack of confidence and independence.


----------

