# SP's: To pursue or to be pursued?



## Briggs

I know it is suppose to be the male pursuing the female...though out of curiosity, I wanted to see if there was a preference or if it mattered one way or the other.

Thanks in advance!


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## Aerorobyn

It really doesn't matter to me, I'm okay either way - though I think I lean a bit more towards _being pursued._ With my past relationships, I always had to do the flirting and stuff before a relationship began. With the exception of the one that I had to ask out, they all pretty much caught on after a while and asked me out.


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## ster

I thought that in general, regardless of personality type, that the introverts would rather be pursued, and the extroverts would rather do the pursuing. When both are extroverts or both are introverts however, I think it just depends on whomever is the most confident. 

IMO, it's hard to imagine an ISFJ or ISFP pursuing because they're the two most reserved of all 16 types.


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## Korvyna

I prefer to be pursued. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. :laughing:

Yes, I will flirt, but that doesn't indicate pursuing. I flirt so a guy will continue to pursue me. It's my way of showing that yes I am interested. I've been very aggressive in the past and now a days I'd much rather be pursued. Pursuing is hard work. :tongue:


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## The Red Ranger

I'm just a guy-pursues-girl person, period. Call me typical, both as a man and as an ISTP, but I believe it's a man's job to initiate (assuming both parties like each other, not just the man or the woman), and I see it as a challenge that must be overcome.

Come on, women _want_ strong men, right? Show them that part of you worth pursuing, and the "keepers" will come for you .


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## firedell

I like to pursue, but I don't mind being pursued either. 

Actually, pursue me.


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## ziggy

I prefer to do the pursuing, though I don't mind the odd hint that they might be interested. It makes me a bit uncomfortable to be pursued myself. :tongue:


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## Nomenclature

Persuer here. If you're into him, why wait? Go for it!


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## The Red Ranger

FiNiTe said:


> Persuer here. If you're into him, why wait? Go for it!


FiNiTe, would you be cool with having a pursuer? Or do you insist on being one instead? Just curious.


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## Nomenclature

The Red Ranger said:


> FiNiTe, would you be cool with having a pursuer? Or do you insist on being one instead? Just curious.


I would be cool with it. It's just that I'm not passive by preference.


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## king aaron

BTW, i want to go to Michigan State University, but after college, move to San Fransisco. I visited San Fransisco, and I loved it. It was so different, but I loved it, and I basically got to live another life. I was there a week, and didn't care about what would it be like when I got home. I didn't miss anything, except for my dog and two cats. My family? Not really.


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## Fat Bozo

I don't have to be pursued. I'm just sitting here. 

See, ladies, I make it easy on you. Come to Papa.


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## Narrator

Eww, intimacy.

Persued, because I don't do persuing (I don't do relationships), I'm insecure, and like to know where I am with a person. Although being persued can screw me up, depending on the person, so really, neither. Light, unconsequential flirting/just being playful and open is fun.


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## The Red Ranger

Liminality said:


> Eww, intimacy.
> 
> Persued, because I don't do persuing (I don't do relationships), I'm insecure, and like to know where I am with a person. Although being persued can screw me up, depending on the person, so really, neither. Light, unconsequential flirting/just being playful and open is fun.


Fun, yes. But why lick the icing for the rest of your life when the cake is right there? (Oh, I'm so clever.)


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## sodden

I've done plenty of pursuing but it makes me very stressed. I hate that not-knowing feeling, not to mention having to extrovert myself like that. That's why it's always ended up working better with extroverts for me. I let them handle all of that stuff and I can relax.


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## VenusMisty

I like it when it's so mutual you can't tell which one is pursuing more than the other.


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## Seralya

Being pursued, please.

It is partly because I am a woman, sure. Or, rather, because I am interested in men. The problem with men is that if a girl as much as smiles to their way, they directly assume they've being invited to bed, and you can't get rid of them anymore. It sucks. If I let them run around me I can still keep my freedom to say no if (or when!) I please. 

I have pursued some timid guys in my time, it was kind of fun, too. Of course, then I got stuck with them for a bit longer time than I would have wanted..

To think about it, I kind of get turned on of trying to pursue a self-confidant man that's not giving in easily, too. Pity they're so hard to find.

Summary: whichever, as long as I feel free to get out of the game when I so please.


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## Parade of Sparrows

I would probably prefer to be perused but often I do the perusing and capturing, and cooking.


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## LeelooDallas

i prefer to be pursued - but only if i'm giving you signals that it's OK to advance. so i guess i like being pursued while i leave a trail of bread crumbs to where you can find me..

. i've also pursued guys in the past but i tend to not respect them much after i have them. i think that was because when i was younger i was all about the chase and the pursuit. plus i'm old enough now to know that if a guy is into you AND is mature enough for a relationship then no matter how timid or shy he is, he will make his intentions known in some fashion.


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## DJArendee

Get. *points to cock*


Does that answer your question?



But seriously, I like to be pursued, but I'll step up my game depending who I'm dealing with.


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## tinker683

ster said:


> I thought that in general, regardless of personality type, that the introverts would rather be pursued, and the extroverts would rather do the pursuing. When both are extroverts or both are introverts however, I think it just depends on whomever is the most confident.
> 
> IMO, it's hard to imagine an ISFJ or ISFP pursuing because they're the two most reserved of all 16 types.


Believe it or not I'm usually the one doing the pursuing, though I will say it's probably VERY different from most types. Usually when I'm interested in a woman I show a very noticeable interest in talking to her, what she likes to do, who she is, etc.. and I pepper her with compliments (which are always very polite and sweet, as I have an *extremely* difficult time saying something that I can't help but feel is either very rude or vulgar).

Since being sensual is a bit difficult for me I usually try to make it obvious that I'm interested in her. If I don't get any response from her after a while then I'll back off. If she does give some kind of response, then I'll usually try to do something formal like asking her to dinner & movie or something like that and proceed from there.


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## Tmonkey

As an IP, i would preferred to be pursued. However, if someone really catches my attention, I will go for it. I am a guy, so I do find being pursued a little weird.

Most of the time though, is because I'm bored.


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## thegirlcandance

ster said:


> IMO, it's hard to imagine an ISFJ or ISFP pursuing because they're the two most reserved of all 16 types.


I beg to differ on that statement because Ni is the most introverted function... which would place INFJs and INTJs in the most reserved of all the 16 types.
Actually, I'd say INTJs are overall because INFJs can appear rather outgoing when they get using their Fe (which is one of the most extraverted).


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## Outcode

I like being pursued (maybe cause it never happens?) or at least knowing that the other is interested so that I can pursue.


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## MGill

I like to pursue at first to break the ice, get to know each other and then I back off and see if they pursue. I feel like women, especially ones who are used to be being pursued, expect to be pursued. Once you start to pursue them they have the "power". haha I may be a cynic but I've seen the power abused many times, so I just try to offset it by showing them I'm not that easy.


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## lucky

Let's pursue each other. 

If it's gonna work, we both already know it.


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## MGill

eh I already know now that it wouldn't work between us.. you have a penis... BIG deal breaker


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## Linnifae

I prefer being persued most of the time. But sometimes I've gotten impatient (if the guy is shy or clueless or whatever) and have persued, but the best relationships I was ever in were when I was being persued.:happy:


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## mezzoforte

I actually prefer pursuing, but I come on real strong and it definitely drives a lot of guys away to be honest haha. The way I see it, if they can't handle me at the beginning they definitely won't be able to handle me in a relationship. 

I don't mind being pursued but nearly every time a guy has pursued me I ended up becoming more and more avoidant because it felt intrusive. I guess either no one's done it right yet or I'm just crazy!


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## Raindrops

Pursed for sure. I'm way to shy to say purser! I don't actually know how to flirt, but my friends say I apparently do it without my realising lol :blushed:.


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## sayalain

i have always been the one who pursues guys and an aggressive pursuer, even though i'm an introvert. lol. 

kinda freaked out at first when some guy that i don't know trying to make me look his way. 

i don't really hate it, but, since i have always been a pursuer and being pursued is still rare for me.


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## OctoberSkye

I want to be pursued, not because I think I'm above doing the pursuing because I'm female, but because I desire an assertive, take-charge man. That is a great way to find out. Also, it usually takes me awhile to figure out if I'm interested in someone. If he isn't persistent, game over. Once I know the feelings are mutual, though, I make it clear.


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## Halla74

What's wrong with both? 
If you're single and available, then by all means, go for it, find that special someone however needed.
Why let pomp and circumstance get in the way of romance?


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## CharleyVCU1988

I'd rather be pursued than try and do the chasing - you'd have to really really really knock me off my feet if you want me to pursue. I can most certainly be "assertive" and "take charge" in a lot of situations, maintenance included, but you'll be seeing that in other actions from me, I just feel that I come on way too strong or even desperate if I decide to pursue.


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## ZC Carbon

I can pursue or be pursued. Depends on context, but I need a reason to do either, otherwise I'll just walk away.


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## DJArendee

I can pursue fearlessly at whim, at least until infatuation hits. Then suddenly my confidence becomes a train wreck.


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## limelight3

haha I'll persue no problem if I really like the guy, it's kind of fun for me. I like being in control. :laughing: However, I will say this...I love being persued too. It just shows (to me anyways) that the guy is actually interested in me, rather than me just running around pestering him.


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## haushinka

I've always been the pursuer. I mean, at least when I first meet someone. It's just that I feel that I rarely find someone that interests me, and I have to seeze that.
I usually feel clastrophobic being pursued. But who knows, if it's the right person, it might work.


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## sumaya3357

I need to be pursued, it makes me feel special. 
I have perfected the art of flirtation. So, if someone catches my eye I make sure they take notice. After that point if they want me they gotta come and get me.


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## Drewbie

I'm a pursuer. I rarely find anyone I think is worth pursuing so when I meet them I have to take the opportunity. If I'm to be pursued it has to be on my terms or I end it quickly.


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## IheartFootball10

really doesnt matter to me either way. ive been persued many many times, and then theres times ive been the persuer. the way i see it....who cares? if 2 people are attracted to eachother and like eachother, why not just got for it? i will say though, there is nothing like being persued by an aggressive, take-charge guy who knows what he wants  hott!!


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## Anakin

All of my ex's that im still on good terms with, they pursued me

I have no problem making the move, but I LOVE being pursued.....all the pressure shouldnt always be on the mans shoulder


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## Neon Knight

If I'm interested being pursued is nice but I like to do the pursuing too. If I'm not interested it can get annoying especially the really aggressive types who border on harassment or actually do harass, and/or stalking.


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## SyndiCat

Pursuing equals stalking and intruding, that is what my mother, aunts, cousins, and female friends 
has taught me ever since I was a child. Basically, it is inappropriate for a guy to pursue. So, I've 
not once pursued. But then again I've never felt the need to "pursue," I've felt the need to "wait."

I always end up with the friend, or the cousin, or the sister of the one I'm actually interested in 
anyway. Depressing really. So it's probably for the best that I don't pursue, because the ones I'm 
interested in aren't interested in me.


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## MGill

because you dont pursue them so you end up in the friend zone


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## letsride

I usually let the guy do the pursuing. I like guys who are confident, and this is a good way to find out.

If there's a guy I'm really taken with, I will pursue, but this doesn't happen very often.


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## Neon Knight

MikeAngell said:


> Pursuing equals stalking and intruding, that is what my mother, aunts, cousins, and female friends has taught me ever since I was a child. Basically, it is inappropriate for a guy to pursue.


Hmm I have to disagree with you being taught that because stalking and intruding are extreme pathological versions of pursuit and are criminal. I like being pursued sometimes, but when I plainly say I'm not interested, I'm not interested and leave me alone or it's actually then stalking/intruding. That's about it really.


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