# Can a parent suppress your personality type?



## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

I just took the personality test twice and got ENTJ both times. I'm okay with the idea of being an executive person, but when I hear about other ENTJs I can't relate at all! I generally try to be nice to people and have a very low self esteem, and don't always speak out much. However, all of the things that ENTJs are said to do, I often feel inclined to do. I'm one of the best public speakers I know, and have never been beaten in a debate. On the things I deem important, I have very strong opinions based on experience and facts, and can be very obnoxious/pushy in an argument. I'm a very hard worker and like to be on a schedule, though because of a chronic illness I haven't been on one lately.

So here's the issue: Why don't I show almost ANY outward signs of being an ENTJ? People who don't know me very well would call me introverted, quiet and indecisive. The first conclusion I came to was that it's a result of living with my mother for so long. I know everyone likes to complain about their parents, but my mother is a twisted and miserable person. I moved out of the house literally on the day of my 18th birthday and don't plan to return. All my life she has discouraged me from being social, mentally strangled all of my opinions and desires, and done everything she could to make me hate myself. If I disagreed or argued with something she said she would call me a terrible child, and if I made a rude observation she told me, "Heron, you'll never make any friends or get a job because you're so rude to everyone." I was a straight A student all my life, with the exception of the year that she refused to sign my school papers and my grade was penalized, and yet she never encouraged my education. I'm very self motivated, but every project I got into she would insult to the point of cruelty.

Am I just confused? Since this site is dedicated to developing your personality type, I would really like to understand how to go about doing that when I'm not even certain what mine is. And if I am such a strong personality type, I probably have a lot of catching up to do, right? Obviously a self-doubting, paranoid, worrisome, shy, hesitant artist is a far cry from what an ENTJ is meant to be, or for that matter what anyone would want to be. So where do I go from here?

*TLDR*; Can a strong personality type be suppressed in a young person due to a negative and oppressing parent? What is the logical next step in personality development for a confused ENTJ?


----------



## WildWinds (Mar 9, 2010)

I do think that parents can have an influence on type....A child may prefer certain functions or a function order, but an overbearing parent who has other ideas of how their child should behave may end up suppressing or discourage the child's natural function preferences and force use of functions that may be foreign.

My first suggestion would be to try and figure out what you actually are before worrying about developing yourself. If you aren't ENTJ, then trying to develop yourself as one is pretty futile. You may want to look into INTJ. Same functions, different order. It can make a big difference. Read up about the functions too, as that can help more than the personality descriptions. But posting in the different areas can really help. I think most people are able to, one on level or another, relate to others of their type in the forums.


----------



## anon (Oct 19, 2009)

Yes, personality can be suppressed by parents if they constantly make you feel as though something is so totally wrong with you and that you must change your ways... something along those lines, to sum it up.

I wondered myself earlier today whether I am really an INFP, even though I have felt ever since the longest I can remember that I am an NF... but sometimes I gravitate towards other NF personalities other than my own, especially INFJ, with whom I spot a lot of similarities, yet I am more INFP than anything else at the end of the day. I've also experienced being very non-INFP a lot of the times, even today, and have demonstrated more decisive, loudly opinionated, independently ambitious and even carelessly spontaneous behaviour as well as under-estimating my idealism and resorting to logical thinking -- but protecting my idealism so I can bring all my works in accord to it instead of letting idealism lead the way. Yet, this process confuses me at a certain point and I get exhausted by it because it's not my natural expression. It's definitely helpful and makes me happy in some ways, but still not 'me'. In fact, I find it difficult to get a complete grasp of.

All this is because each of our personalities are life-long patterns and the manners and ways of being in this world that are unique to each of us. I think we all know to a certain extent what is best for us and what we can do, yet when we are bogged down by conditional acceptance, we can have the tendency to overlook our processes and start getting influenced by expectations ESPECIALLY from anyone that participates in our life a great deal and anyone that shows to be heavily imposing. While I think that how we handle our circumstances and situations determines our personality and in fact, reveals more of it -- I also believe that the more stress you carry the more you feel blocked of your true personality. 

What could be happening is that your least dominant traits are showing themselves. I say, don't fear them showing, and don't feel like you should not be like that and instead you should be like what ENTJs show themselves to be in order to be an ENTJ. Strive for balance, and everything will fall into place. Keeping the outcome in check is good, but it's nothing without the journey of a thousand perspectives (not miles :crazy and choices that can increase your freedom. 

Last but not least, I agree with WildWinds about posting in the ENTJ sub-forum and seeing if you feel at home or can begin to pick up on any similarities. Most importantly, check out the functions of personalities. Upon learning the functions had I gained much more insight to the personality types in general, and what I could be Vs how much of what I currently am, am I really?


----------



## techfreak85 (Dec 14, 2010)

I think it's possible. I use a lot of feeling, even tho my father is very much a thinker, and has always tried to teach me to use that function. It could be that I use my Fi while having many of the traits of an Ti because of my father.


----------



## Andrea (Apr 20, 2009)

hard as she tried, alas.


----------



## Scruffy (Aug 17, 2009)

I don't believe that a parent can change the manner in which you process your world (functions), but I do believe if your manner is deemed "inappropriate" or "wrong" by your parents' perhaps you'll hide yourself. There's the ever interesting shadow theory (or one of them), that under stress you look like a different type. In your case, if you're indeed an ENTJ, you'd act similar to an unhealthy ISFP under stress (opposite every letter). 

I suggest looking for your type through self-discovery, as Tests lack the ability to discover functions. For example: Ne and Ni are very different, yet the tests only look for the N. Cognitive function tests exist as well, but they are often worse off than the letter-by-letter tests.

Find your type first, and make sure you aren't looking for your ideal personality type (mistyping can lead to some awkward stress). I wish I could say a type will just "click", but they don't always.

Good luck.


----------



## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

WildWinds said:


> I do think that parents can have an influence on type....A child may prefer certain functions or a function order, but an overbearing parent who has other ideas of how their child should behave may end up suppressing or discourage the child's natural function preferences and force use of functions that may be foreign.
> 
> My first suggestion would be to try and figure out what you actually are before worrying about developing yourself. If you aren't ENTJ, then trying to develop yourself as one is pretty futile. You may want to look into INTJ. Same functions, different order. It can make a big difference. Read up about the functions too, as that can help more than the personality descriptions. But posting in the different areas can really help. I think most people are able to, one on level or another, relate to others of their type in the forums.


Yes, I definitely want to find out what actual type I am... I know that I am extroverted, even if I don't always show it. Communicating with people gives me great pleasure and makes me feel energetic, though I tend to doubt myself and not talk to people much out of fear that I'll do something wrong. Five years ago I took the longer version of the test and it said I was an ENFP, but I wouldn't be surprised if that has changed just from growing up a bit. I'll take your advice and check out the forums. Thank you for a very helpful response!


----------



## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

anon said:


> Yes, personality can be suppressed by parents if they constantly make you feel as though something is so totally wrong with you and that you must change your ways... something along those lines, to sum it up.
> 
> I wondered myself earlier today whether I am really an INFP, even though I have felt ever since the longest I can remember that I am an NF... but sometimes I gravitate towards other NF personalities other than my own, especially INFJ, with whom I spot a lot of similarities, yet I am more INFP than anything else at the end of the day. I've also experienced being very non-INFP a lot of the times, even today, and have demonstrated more decisive, loudly opinionated, independently ambitious and even carelessly spontaneous behaviour as well as under-estimating my idealism and resorting to logical thinking -- but protecting my idealism so I can bring all my works in accord to it instead of letting idealism lead the way. Yet, this process confuses me at a certain point and I get exhausted by it because it's not my natural expression. It's definitely helpful and makes me happy in some ways, but still not 'me'. In fact, I find it difficult to get a complete grasp of.
> 
> ...


Thank you! Glad I'm not just crazy. The only letter I know for a fact is the E. I think I associate better with NF than NT, but I still have a lot of work to do in figuring myself out. I will definitely be looking through function of different personality types, and hopefully I'll find the one that fits me best.


----------



## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

Scruffy said:


> I don't believe that a parent can change the manner in which you process your world (functions), but I do believe if your manner is deemed "inappropriate" or "wrong" by your parents' perhaps you'll hide yourself. There's the ever interesting shadow theory (or one of them), that under stress you look like a different type. In your case, if you're indeed an ENTJ, you'd act similar to an unhealthy ISFP under stress (opposite every letter).
> 
> I suggest looking for your type through self-discovery, as Tests lack the ability to discover functions. For example: Ne and Ni are very different, yet the tests only look for the N. Cognitive function tests exist as well, but they are often worse off than the letter-by-letter tests.
> 
> ...


That is a very good point; I have been acting much the opposite of how I feel. It seems like a lot of work ahead, trying to turn everything back around. But I'm not worried about looking for an ideal type so much; I know that there's no right or wrong answer here, and I feel like pretty much a blank slate at this point. Besides, finding out how I function won't change the fact that I have free will and can still do whatever the heck I want with my life.


----------



## Neon Knight (Aug 11, 2010)

This is a short answer, I really believe so, since I'm sure that happened to me big time. I think I was forced into my shadow mode quite early, no wonder I was stressed, it's apparently a very bad thing to be anything but your type even on a physical level because it's highly taxing on your brain and can do things like upset homeostasis and a whole lot more.


----------



## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

SuPERNaUT said:


> This is a short answer, I really believe so, since I'm sure that happened to me big time. I think I was forced into my shadow mode quite early, no wonder I was stressed, it's apparently a very bad thing to be anything but your type even on a physical level because it's highly taxing on your brain and can do things like upset homeostasis and a whole lot more.


Yeah, I have no doubt that it's unhealthy what I've been doing. That's why it's important that I get out of these bad habits of suppression as soon as possible.


----------



## TheYellow (Oct 28, 2010)

I would have to agree that your true type can be suppressed, but it's still there. But I must say that there is no easy way to figure out your 'true' type.
It took me an extraordinarily long time to feel comfortable in my own skin after I moved out for college. I was forced to keep my emotions inside and to be reserved around my father. When I left home I realized I was still very reserved etc, even though deep down I wanted to be the life of the party.
I felt conflicted and so far the only remedy has been time. 

A while ago I thought I was INFJ, and I could really understand other INFJs as well, but it was incredibly taxing! I was tired all day from being alone in my head. I was exhibiting INFJ traits but at a MUCH larger cost than if I was really INFJ. Everyone uses all 8 functions but what comes naturally is hard enough to figure out without having it masked by nurture.

May I suggest leaving MBTI aside for 5 or so days and live how you want to. Then afterwards examine what felt 'right' and what was strained action. That really helped me discover what was me naturally and what was learned behavior.
Good luck!


----------



## jbking (Jun 4, 2010)

*Just a thought...*

Yes that would be possible to my mind. However, if you are away from your mother then you could start doing some experiments and see what works and doesn't work for you. My suggestion would be to look into the cognitive function stuff and see how well that works or doesn't work for you in terms of how you usually live. Depending on how well you like or dislike introspection this may be easy or hard for you to my mind. Good luck on your journey.


----------



## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

TheYellow said:


> I would have to agree that your true type can be suppressed, but it's still there. But I must say that there is no easy way to figure out your 'true' type.
> It took me an extraordinarily long time to feel comfortable in my own skin after I moved out for college. I was forced to keep my emotions inside and to be reserved around my father. When I left home I realized I was still very reserved etc, even though deep down I wanted to be the life of the party.
> I felt conflicted and so far the only remedy has been time.
> 
> ...


Yeah, I feel like that a lot of the time. I've always wanted to be around people, but my mother (being an extreme introvert) tried to keep me away from social situations. I never learned how to make friends and was alone for most of my life, which drives me totally crazy. But now that I finally have chances to make friends, I find that I'm the awkward one every time. I still don't understand how to socialize and what not to say, and end up scaring off new people. This is one of the things I find most difficult and upsetting about trying to get back to myself, but I know that if I keep trying it will eventually click.


----------



## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

jbking said:


> Yes that would be possible to my mind. However, if you are away from your mother then you could start doing some experiments and see what works and doesn't work for you. My suggestion would be to look into the cognitive function stuff and see how well that works or doesn't work for you in terms of how you usually live. Depending on how well you like or dislike introspection this may be easy or hard for you to my mind. Good luck on your journey.


It's been three months since I moved away from home. So far I'm doing pretty bad as far as getting over my mother's damage (even beyond the personality confusion there's the trust issues, fear and self doubt that keep me from making a healthy new life). Still, I am making some progress and I think I can get better. What do you mean by cognitive function stuff? Sorry, new here.

Thank you for your help! I'm sure that luck will come in handy.


----------



## TheYellow (Oct 28, 2010)

Well, if it's any condolence, I completely understand what you're going through, I'm still going through some of it myself.
Awkwardness is something I found can only be softened with experience. It helps when you're around supportive people.

Confidence can be worked on and can be achieved! It just takes genuine work ethic, you're not going to wake up one morning and feel totally confident with yourself!
Sometimes it helps to 'fake' your desired actions until they become natural. You will get comfortable with it eventually and it will no longer be fake.
There's no clear cut path but I like to say, practice makes better!


----------



## Neon Knight (Aug 11, 2010)

This cognitive functions test:
Keys 2 Cognition - Cognitive Processes


----------



## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

TheYellow said:


> Well, if it's any condolence, I completely understand what you're going through, I'm still going through some of it myself.
> Awkwardness is something I found can only be softened with experience. It helps when you're around supportive people.
> 
> Confidence can be worked on and can be achieved! It just takes genuine work ethic, you're not going to wake up one morning and feel totally confident with yourself!
> ...


Thank you!  I do have the work ethic, for sure, and I know I can learn how to be confident with time. I'm very glad for the support; it makes me want to try harder.


----------



## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

SuPERNaUT said:


> This cognitive functions test:
> Keys 2 Cognition - Cognitive Processes


Thank you! It said that my pattern fits most closely with INTP. The only process that is seriously limited is extroverted sensing, which makes sense. But my most used process was extroverted intuiting.


----------



## WildWinds (Mar 9, 2010)

hziegel said:


> Yes, I definitely want to find out what actual type I am... I know that I am extroverted, even if I don't always show it. Communicating with people gives me great pleasure and makes me feel energetic, though I tend to doubt myself and not talk to people much out of fear that I'll do something wrong. Five years ago I took the longer version of the test and it said I was an ENFP, but I wouldn't be surprised if that has changed just from growing up a bit. I'll take your advice and check out the forums. Thank you for a very helpful response!


Glad to help 

If it means anything, ENTP's and ENFP's tend to be the most introverted extrovert types. Having dominant Ne can be very exhausting living in a world with people who blow off or shoot down ideas constantly, and look down on those who go against the norm. Growing up with an overbearing, negative parent who does that constantly could really cause some self esteem issues. 

But as far as my introversion/extroversion goes, I love social gatherings and doing stuff and I have no issues being out all day with people, day after day, not coming home until 2am. Especially when I'm with company I enjoy and relate to. But other times, if I'm around people who are more judgmental, I don't fit in well, or they talk about things I have no interest in, I will go into introvert mode. When I finally get home, I want to just sit in my room and not be bothered. I am also comfortable being alone for long periods of time, and while I am social, I'm not a "people person".


----------



## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

WildWinds said:


> Glad to help
> 
> If it means anything, ENTP's and ENFP's tend to be the most introverted extrovert types. Having dominant Ne can be very exhausting living in a world with people who blow off or shoot down ideas constantly, and look down on those who go against the norm. Growing up with an overbearing, negative parent who does that constantly could really cause some self esteem issues.
> 
> But as far as my introversion/extroversion goes, I love social gatherings and doing stuff and I have no issues being out all day with people, day after day, not coming home until 2am. Especially when I'm with company I enjoy and relate to. But other times, if I'm around people who are more judgmental, I don't fit in well, or they talk about things I have no interest in, I will go into introvert mode. When I finally get home, I want to just sit in my room and not be bothered. I am also comfortable being alone for long periods of time, and while I am social, I'm not a "people person".


I'm starting to think I'm actually just an ENFP that's been trying too hard to be stronger. It still seems to be the only group I can relate to, even though I don't act like that anymore. I've had to force myself to be more cold, logical and forceful in recent years out of necessity, not so much natural progression. I guess I knew myself better five years ago...


----------



## TheYellow (Oct 28, 2010)

From this limited conversation you strike me as an ENFP who, like me, developed a more thinking, rational side.
I would still look into cognitive functions more thoroughly though, give it a couple of days.

Much like you said, I felt like I knew myself before I became so hardened and reserved, I was missing the natural Ne bouncing of ideas and expression. 

Something that was difficult but very useful to me was looking into the 'enneagram' section of this forum. MBTI determines your preferences, while the enneagram determines your core needs and reasons for your preferences. 

Overall I just feel that your writing style and sentiments are very similar to mine, so I want to say ENFP but I would suggest any type with Ne in the top two functions. INTP, ENTP, INFP, ENFP


----------



## WildWinds (Mar 9, 2010)

If you are an ENFP with a very well developed Te, then maybe thats why you typed as an ENTJ. Often the tert isn't so prominent that it can cause a mistyping, but it happens. ENTJ also has Fi as an inferior, which is ENFP's aux. Perhaps this is how your parent influenced your function order, especially if you are suppressing Ne.

Have you looked up the functions yet, particularly Ne?


----------



## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

TheYellow said:


> From this limited conversation you strike me as an ENFP who, like me, developed a more thinking, rational side.
> I would still look into cognitive functions more thoroughly though, give it a couple of days.
> 
> Much like you said, I felt like I knew myself before I became so hardened and reserved, I was missing the natural Ne bouncing of ideas and expression.
> ...


Yeah, sometimes it's good to develop skills opposite to the ones that come naturally to you. Sometimes it can be a pain in the ass though, especially when you have a conflict between what you need to be and what you want to be. That's been a problem for me up until now. Also, I've been looking into the other related categories (actually all the ones you just listed) and none of them seem to fit at all, so I'm pretty much left with ENFP as far as people I can relate to.


----------



## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

WildWinds said:


> If you are an ENFP with a very well developed Te, then maybe thats why you typed as an ENTJ. Often the tert isn't so prominent that it can cause a mistyping, but it happens. ENTJ also has Fi as an inferior, which is ENFP's aux. Perhaps this is how your parent influenced your function order, especially if you are suppressing Ne.
> 
> Have you looked up the functions yet, particularly Ne?


That seems to be the case. I took a cognitive functions test earlier and it said I use introverted thinking and extroverted intuiting. It fit me with the INFP personality type, which makes sense because my interpersonal skills are still so bad. I still don't completely understand what people mean by functions.


----------



## WildWinds (Mar 9, 2010)

hziegel said:


> That seems to be the case. I took a cognitive functions test earlier and it said I use introverted thinking and extroverted intuiting. It fit me with the INFP personality type, which makes sense because my interpersonal skills are still so bad. I still don't completely understand what people mean by functions.


Ne and Ti is more ENTP/INTP. Those are the two functions I primarily use. 

Here, you might want to check this out, it gives a brief description of how the functions operate. Definition of cognitive functions | Life as a Project

Basically, type is an overall profile, but it can be broken down into a series of four preferred functions in order of preference, dominant, auxiliary, tertiary, and inferior. The dom and aux are usually the most prominent. Tert sometimes takes a while for people to get the hang of, and I'm not sure too many people are aware of using the inferior. So for example, I'm ENTP, my function order is Ne, Ti, Fe, Si. 

Its just important to keep in mind that preferred doesn't necessarily mean most developed or most used, its just the ones you naturally lean towards that you are comfortable with. The different functions work together in different ways, and when you understand the functions, you can see how they work together to form a type. ENTP is often described as verbally and cerebrally quick in profiles, this is the Ne and Ti working together. Ne generates ideas, Ti fine tunes them and sees how they fit together with other things. As a result, ENTP's are often masters of BS.


----------



## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

WildWinds said:


> Ne and Ti is more ENTP/INTP. Those are the two functions I primarily use.
> 
> Here, you might want to check this out, it gives a brief description of how the functions operate. Definition of cognitive functions | Life as a Project
> 
> ...


Hahaha, I've always been known as a master of BS. Well, I know that I mostly use Ti, then Ne. Don't know about the other ones. How do you find out which four you use?


----------



## sarahe (Jan 4, 2011)

hziegel said:


> I know everyone likes to complain about their parents, but my mother is a twisted and miserable person. I moved out of the house literally on the day of my 18th birthday and don't plan to return. All my life she has discouraged me from being social, mentally strangled all of my opinions and desires, and done everything she could to make me hate myself. If I disagreed or argued with something she said she would call me a terrible child, and if I made a rude observation she told me, "Heron, you'll never make any friends or get a job because you're so rude to everyone." I was a straight A student all my life, with the exception of the year that she refused to sign my school papers and my grade was penalized, and yet she never encouraged my education. I'm very self motivated, but every project I got into she would insult to the point of cruelty.


oh my, I can relate to a lot of that. My mom is an esfj and its funny, if anybody else tries to emotionally harm me or discourage me she is right there to support me and can act as my biggest advocate... when she wants to. In relation to how we act one-on-one, I also have an issue with my mother acting pessimistic or misserable, making it hard and uncomfortable/stressful to live with. She makes accusations about my personality that are so untrue, similar to what you said, that i am a rude person and that i seek conflict (completely the other way around) and that i can be vindictive (she often says i take pleasure in hurting her, in reality shes just super sensitive to having me disagree with her in an argument) 

i absolutely believe that my mother affects the development and level i express certain functions. She despises my p function, she is a very rigid, organized, and a very planned-out person and hates that i am such a free-spirit; messy, disorganized, and she addresses those traits as negative and able to fix. She tends to nag at me and accuse me of being selfish for having disorganization and the habit of being perpetually late, as she feels i stress her out and that i show that i dont care by not fixing those characteristics. Her judgmental and brash way of addressing issues that i'm vulnerable about without any empathy cause me to be uncomfortable and more reserved, hurting my extraversion function. its hard living with someone whose personality is so contrary to mine...


----------



## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

sarahe said:


> oh my, I can relate to a lot of that. My mom is an esfj and its funny, if anybody else tries to emotionally harm me or discourage me she is right there to support me and can act as my biggest advocate... when she wants to. In relation to how we act one-on-one, I also have an issue with my mother acting pessimistic or misserable, making it hard and uncomfortable/stressful to live with. She makes accusations about my personality that are so untrue, similar to what you said, that i am a rude person and that i seek conflict (completely the other way around) and that i can be vindictive (she often says i take pleasure in hurting her, in reality shes just super sensitive to having me disagree with her in an argument)
> 
> i absolutely believe that my mother affects the development and level i express certain functions. She despises my p function, she is a very rigid, organized, and a very planned-out person and hates that i am such a free-spirit; messy, disorganized, and she addresses those traits as negative and able to fix. She tends to nag at me and accuse me of being selfish for having disorganization and the habit of being perpetually late, as she feels i stress her out and that i show that i dont care by not fixing those characteristics. Her judgmental and brash way of addressing issues that i'm vulnerable about without any empathy cause me to be uncomfortable and more reserved, hurting my extraversion function. its hard living with someone whose personality is so contrary to mine...


It's funny, everything sounds just like my mom except for the last part. I'm very organized most of the time and like to be early or on time to everything, and my mother is the opposite - she keeps the house a total wreck. But I think she finds me intimidating in some ways, because she'll complain that my room is messy when it's not, and then tell me off for cleaning something "the wrong way." Also, I don't think she's ever stuck up for me in my life... She likes to post things on her facebook status like "My daughter is being impossible today" and of course told five of her friends who know me that I was hospitalized for depression, without asking. I don't know what personality type she is, but her cognitive function is about as advanced as a toddler's.


----------



## jbking (Jun 4, 2010)

*A bit more on the functions.*

I'm sorry for disappearing off of here for so long, life happened.



hziegel said:


> I still don't completely understand what people mean by functions.


This is just my understanding of them, but here goes. The 8 functions can be broken down into 3 parts. First, there is the how do you take in information which is the Sensing/Intuition question. If you tend to look at the details initially and then build a picture that is sensing while if you look at the big picture and then drill down to the details that tends to be intuitive. Second, there is the how do you decide things which is the Thinking/Feeling question. Those that use their head with logic and facts tend to be thinkers while those that use their heart with feelings and opinions tend to be feelers. Then to complicate this there is whether the function is internal or externally focused, which is what doubles the function count to 8 as there in Ne/Ni, Se/Si, Fe/Fi, and Te/Ti. 

To use myself as an example, I tend to be rather logical and sequential in dealing with the world so that would be Te while dealing with my feelings and how I internally feel would be Fi. As for taking in information, there I tend to be Ni and Se as I have my own model of the universe in my head that can have these flashes of insight that come out of nowhere while I do occasionally tend to pay attention to what is right in front of me. Thus, I'd say my order is Ni Te Fi Se, which is what an INTJ has. Now, the other four are my shadow functions which is whole other topic.

A couple of links that may be useful if you want to read some more:

Jungian cognitive functions - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Understanding the Eight Jungian Cognitive Processes / Eight Functions Attitudes


----------



## Neon Knight (Aug 11, 2010)

hziegel said:


> I'm starting to think I'm actually just an ENFP that's been trying too hard to be stronger. It still seems to be the only group I can relate to, even though I don't act like that anymore. I've had to force myself to be more cold, logical and forceful in recent years out of necessity, not so much natural progression. I guess I knew myself better five years ago...


I could have wrote that myself, but for me it was INTPs which is probably why I kept testing one on the 4-letter tests that had nothing to do with functions. Since you know you're and Ne user, did the test say that was your primary and do you agree? I got mostly IxxP before things started going well for me and now I consistently get ESFP without fail, so I'm gonna have to accept it lol. I just want to make sure that's all. If you behave out of type it's a bad thing in all kinds of ways so that's why I'm quite adamant of finding the true one for myself. You could always make your own thread just asking for people's opinions. I have one myself that has a load of questions I found on other people's threads and people seem to be using the 23 I found, here's the link if you're interested:
http://personalitycafe.com/whats-my-personality-type/32180-interest-finding-my-mbti-type.html

Hell, there might be useful info in my other thread:
http://personalitycafe.com/whats-my-personality-type/36001-esfp-isfp.html

I'm getting a lot of help this way, so it's just a suggestion. If you figure you're out of stress now it should be more accurate than if you are in a bad place like I was I'm sure doing the 23 questions, I haven't reread it though. It really makes a difference, that's all I know.


----------



## lirulin (Apr 16, 2010)

Mine certainly tried...


----------



## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

jbking said:


> I'm sorry for disappearing off of here for so long, life happened.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thank you, I will definitely read those. I took the cognitive functions test and it said I'm primarily Ti and then Ne, which isn't really normal for ENFP. But it's just the way I decided I want to do things. I think it's sometimes okay to use thought processes outside the ones that come most naturally.


----------



## Neon Knight (Aug 11, 2010)

Yeah the attitudes helped me figure out more of what I'm searching for. It's still a bit of a toss up but I'm getting there :happy:


----------



## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

SuPERNaUT said:


> I could have wrote that myself, but for me it was INTPs which is probably why I kept testing one on the 4-letter tests that had nothing to do with functions. Since you know you're and Ne user, did the test say that was your primary and do you agree? I got mostly IxxP before things started going well for me and now I consistently get ESFP without fail, so I'm gonna have to accept it lol. I just want to make sure that's all. If you behave out of type it's a bad thing in all kinds of ways so that's why I'm quite adamant of finding the true one for myself. You could always make your own thread just asking for people's opinions. I have one myself that has a load of questions I found on other people's threads and people seem to be using the 23 I found, here's the link if you're interested:
> http://personalitycafe.com/whats-my-personality-type/32180-interest-finding-my-mbti-type.html
> 
> Hell, there might be useful info in my other thread:
> ...


I did take the test and actually came out as Ti, then Ne, which is not at all normal for an ENFP. But I don't know that it's very unhealthy or just an unusual preference. I do agree that I use introverted thinking more than most other functions, although I am not an INFP because I am still extroverted by nature. Having spent most of my life alone, I developed a lot of introverted coping skills which have now become some of my greatest strengths. I'm not going to ignore my ability to internalize just because I wasn't born with it. However, I do plan to try developing more of the processes I was born with, and I hope to get more back to my roots as an ENFP.


----------



## Neon Knight (Aug 11, 2010)

hziegel said:


> I did take the test and actually came out as Ti, then Ne, which is not at all normal for an ENFP. But I don't know that it's very unhealthy or just an unusual preference. I do agree that I use introverted thinking more than most other functions, although I am not an INFP because I am still extroverted by nature. Having spent most of my life alone, I developed a lot of introverted coping skills which have now become some of my greatest strengths. I'm not going to ignore my ability to internalize just because I wasn't born with it. However, I do plan to try developing more of the processes I was born with, and I hope to get more back to my roots as an ENFP.


Sounds similar to mine. I just found this page from one of the other links above you might find interesting:
Skill Development
It's quite enlightening, but then so is most of that site in general.


----------



## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

SuPERNaUT said:


> Sounds similar to mine. I just found this page from one of the other links above you might find interesting:
> Skill Development
> It's quite enlightening, but then so is most of that site in general.


That sounds pretty much like what I do. I think expanding your awareness in the opposite direction can be really useful.


----------



## timwaagh (Dec 1, 2010)

I would forget about functions. they may be an appealing theory but lack the statistics to back it up. some people fit really well into that framework and others, like me, do not (like at all). I think the theory has a few flaws, which are fixable if they disconnect it from the four letter types. As long as they remain however, it's still broken. 

do the simplified MBTI preferences assesment thingie in the personality test resources section of this forum. It may take a while, but for me it gave me some definitive insight. well, not that definitive, which is fitting, because P's don't like things to be definitive....

Since i see so many similarities between your story and my own, I'm beginning to doubt my type again...so thanks  . yeah, i too like socialisation. a lot. but I too am shy insecure and awkward, often. I too went out of my house at the earliest convenient moment (I was 19), because of my mother (who really is a very good person at the core, but still the arguing was simply too much). 

but still, I consider myself an INTP now. I think it would not be a bad fit for you, too.


----------



## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

timwaagh said:


> I would forget about functions. they may be an appealing theory but lack the statistics to back it up. some people fit really well into that framework and others, like me, do not (like at all). I think the theory has a few flaws, which are fixable if they disconnect it from the four letter types. As long as they remain however, it's still broken.
> 
> do the simplified MBTI preferences assesment thingie in the personality test resources section of this forum. It may take a while, but for me it gave me some definitive insight. well, not that definitive, which is fitting, because P's don't like things to be definitive....
> 
> ...


Hah, sorry for making you doubt your type... xD I'm starting to notice that I connect intellectually much better to the INTPs, but there are some things that I just can't relate to. For instance, I have a very strong sense of empathy toward people, even strangers, and I can be a very emotionally intense person, especially in my relationships. I'm always the one who wants to talk about 'feelings' and can't handle being alone. So even though I fit so well into the INTP category, there's just this one major gap where my Fe is monumentally stronger than it should be for an INTP.


----------



## TheYellow (Oct 28, 2010)

This has already been posted in the forums but I found it incredibly helpful to pinpoint my type.
Understanding the Archetypes involving the eight functions of type (Beebe model)

It doesn't talk about which function is stronger, but how they reflect on your personality. When people develop differently it shows in the cognitive function tests and skews the results- But using the 8 archetypes can help you determine which function is really the key player and which is just a developed taste.

It gives some examples for every type and every function so you can see which one fits you best. You may find that you use Ti a lot but you use it directed towards others, rather than 'owning' it. I found that my Fi acts mostly as a 'parent' function, even though it's a very individual function by nature. I tend to 'preach' the goodness of Fi rather than it being my natural tendency.
Even though my Ti is rather developed for an ENFP it still falls under the trickster slot and it will never be as persuading or natural as a Ti dominant type.


----------

