# Suicide Ideation - Enneagram Types.



## intrasearching

I posted in this thread over a year ago but I am going to again.

Since that post, I have recognized that I am INFP 6w5. I have also recognized the extent to which being adopted and abused has affected me.

I also realized I am an HSP.

Essentially, I am extremely sensitive to stress. I am very concerned with survival and being able to cultivate my own independent livelihood, which I feel incredibly incapable of doing.

The pressure of college (thankfully I am a senior now) and worrying about affording housing all affect me strongly. I also am affected strongly by facing the fact that I may be forced to move home with my abuser for a period after I graduate (for money reasons).

Basically I fit the enneagram 6 picture: I need support and guidance, but I don't feel I have any. I don't have good friends to rely on, and I can't rely on family because 1) I don't want to be a burden -- I have extreme levels of shame and guilt in me and 2) I don't want to have to associate in any way with my abuser because it triggers me.

Since I crave support and guidance and do not have it I feel constantly hopeless and stressed.

Since I was adopted, I have always felt alone, outcast, rejected. Thus my isolation is compounded.

I have less hope all the time because despite my concentrated efforts with therapy my trauma complexes effect me at a constant degree. I have no research to indicate that adoptees can overcome their issues with abandonment and otherness. I also have no research to indicate that those with complex trauma can heal. 

So for now I am trying to suppress my extreme urges to die as best I can. I focus on firstly how complicated it really is to suicide. So much could go wrong where I might end up just suffering severe pain/irreversible damage that I would have to live with. I do not have the means to make a clean escape. Also I am motivated by the existence of my younger sister. She was also adopted. I respect and love her because she is kind and courageous in her efforts to be a healthy person. I would not want to devastate her with my death because I am aware how much she looks up to me.

So basically I just want to find some way to stop having the suicidal urges because they suck. Therapy isn't really helping in any ... actually presently helpful way. 

Long story short, I have a six-style issue with not feeling supported and am thus hopeless and terrified. But my issues are mostly compounded by other factors, specifically being an abused adoptee.


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## LaDerniereValse

I think I'm 9 because everyone says so (does it sound like I'm a nine?). I have been afraid of death and I tried to avoid it with all my might. Instead, I was yearning for a haven of rest free from all conflicts of this world forever. If it's called a suicidal ideation, so be it.


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## hiddenglass

*any type* can be suicidal, and *any type* can experience "a living hell". *no type* has a monopoly on pain. that's important to note. 

that said, I think it's fair to observe differences among the types in terms of both their structural propensity toward suicidality as well as their relative likelihood of actual successful suicide (as there are differences). actually, as an example, I believe in the book you quote in OP, Riso&Hudson name 5s as particularly likely to _succeed_ at suicide, among those who attempt it, as they are both less likely to attempt suicide half-heartedly as a cry for help, and more likely to sufficiently research / think through their method so as to guarantee success. 

of the hidden, "unattached triad" (formed by inverting the enneagram triangle, and made up of the three spaces of fixation where people can, in some sense, effectively "lack" attachment [this is not a good thing lol]) 4/5 space (i.e., 4w5 & 5w4 fixers) can be thought of as especially prone to suicide by way of, at low health levels, effective disorientation from what can become an increasingly terrifying and incomprehensible world to them. 

one name for the 4/5 "line" (apart from a more traditional name "the hole") is as the "suicidal space" 
(this can be contrasted with the other unattached spaces—7/8 "homicidal space" and 1/2 "regicidal space")


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## cmckinle

I’m obviously super late to this conversation, but I e come across a few comments that resonated with me on this thread so I figured I might be able to contribute a bit as well. 
I’m a Type 5, with evidently little to no ambiguity regarding any other overlapping types…but confirmation bias has certainly played a role regarding this topic for me. I definitely agree that suicide isn’t something reserved for any specific type or group of people, but rather something that anyone can fall prey to once they’ve hit their personal/unique breaking point. 
i made a serious attempt at suicide over a decade ago, and While I can attest to having several tendencies characteristic of people with heightened risk of harming themselves, I also want to point out that biochemical imbalances, brought on by genes, stress, or more likely some combo of both, can take anyone of any disposition to a dark place…even one as permanent and chilling as suicide. But just as life takes everyone through cycles, I finally reached a point, even with my fucked up worldview and personality flaws, where I can genuinely sense that life has value well beyond emotional states, and suicide essentially robs its victims of the opportunity to notice and appreciate that value.


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## cmckinle

A last additional note to my wordy response above:
The take home message from those on here who seem to know a very good deal of information on what they’re talking about, seems to be that no psychological test or label can pigeon hole you into a life of misery or definitively condemn you as a highly likely suicide victim. Personalities can be illuminated by these kinds of tests, as can further inner self awareness, but predictive power of any sort is not what credible people in the psychology or psychiatry field who support this test ever claim it has.


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