# I'm a man, ask me anything



## wiarumas

*I'm an ENTJ type 3 male, ask me anything*

I'm an ENTJ type 3 male. 

Ive done it all from being in a band, fraternity, marriage, parenting, and everything in between. I have genius level IQ, paint, cook, write poetry, short stories, novels, shoot guns, work on cars, etc. 

Want to ask a guy anything - sex, relationships, personal questions, guy mentality, bro code - go ahead.


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## StElmosDream

@*wiarumas*
How did you know you were ready to become a consultant and what was your background leading up to the decision?


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## wiarumas

StElmosDream said:


> @*wiarumas*
> How did you know you were ready to become a consultant and what was your background leading up to the decision?


It wasn't so much being ready to be a consultant than it was being ready for an ever changing, challenging environment. Working the same job in the same building for years is not my cup of tea. I knew enough and more importantly can present it well enough to join the industry. 

My background was in large scale IT stuff - ERP, CRM applications and project management (PMBOK and ITIL).

An it's not always about what you know, but handling of what you don't.


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## StElmosDream

wiarumas said:


> It wasn't so much being ready to be a consultant than it was being ready for an ever changing, challenging environment. Working the same job in the same building for years is not my cup of tea. I knew enough and more importantly can present it well enough to join the industry.
> 
> My background was in large scale IT stuff - ERP, CRM applications and project management (PMBOK and ITIL).
> 
> An it's not always about what you know, but handling of what you don't.


Interesting I always assumed consultants were molded from 10-15+ years of industry reputation alone, not necessarily the choices they make but then again I suppose large scale planning offers the strengthening of self confidence (always getting the sense that experts exist but may simply not know how to sell themselves well enough).

How do you 'handle what you don't know' and keep an air of authority in an industry that is changing so quickly?


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## Erbse




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## wiarumas

StElmosDream said:


> Interesting I always assumed consultants were molded from 10-15+ years of industry reputation alone, not necessarily the choices they make but then again I suppose large scale planning offers the strengthening of self confidence (always getting the sense that experts exist but may simply not know how to sell themselves well enough).
> 
> How do you 'handle what you don't know' and keep an air of authority in an industry that is changing so quickly?


Entry level positions can be had with only 3-5 years of specialized knowledge. From there you are put into an environment where you sink or swim as it does change rapidly. That's also the beauty of it as it provides limitless learning and self improvement. With every challenge you become a stronger asset. 

As for authority, consultants are hired because clients don't know the subject. So even if you are in a position that you don't know something well, you almost always know more than the client especially with your experience from previous engagements. 

To summarize what Marissa Mayer said recently, to be successful you always have to be somewhat out of your element. If it is easy, then you aren't learning. It's about pushing yourself.


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## wiarumas

Erbse said:


>


Whatever the writer of the cartoon wants to happen as its a fictional character with a make believe ailment that does not need to apply to real world logic. 

Here is an example: because of the paradox, he will become healed.


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## n2freedom

Do you agree with the commonly held notion that women have more "feelings" than men? If not, what are your thoughts?


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## wiarumas

n2freedom said:


> Do you agree with the commonly held notion that women have more "feelings" than men? If not, what are your thoughts?


I think there is a trend, whether biologically or culturally, that women are more likely to be attuned and expressive of emotions, but its a generalization, not a rule, and doesn't mean men's lack of emotional awareness and expressing of feelings mean they feel less. It's just processed differently.


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## DeductiveReasoner

What is it like to have a penis?


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## MelissaC

Funny how I don't really feel the need to seek a guy's viewpoint on anything.


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## n2freedom

It's me again...Do you think the classic checklist of "He's Not That Into You" is a fail-proof way to gauge a guy's level of interest? For instance a checklist like this one.....


> Let’s go through the checklist of *ways to tell a guy is not into you*: 1. *He’s not around you*.
> This is the biggest sign of whether or not a guy is into you. If he’s not into you, he won’t be “around”.
> It’s funny – guys will act 100 different ways around the girl they like… they’ll even completely ignore her! Or tease her. Or be annoying.
> But if they’re into her, it’s not a matter of _how _they’re acting. It’s the fact that one way or another, they always just seem to be acting that way around her.
> He’ll find reasons to be close to you. He’ll always just seem to end up in the same parts of the room as you.
> You may not have noticed it before, but once you start paying attention to it you’ll completely notice it. And if you don’t see that tending to happen with this guy, it’s a *sign he does not like you*.
> 2. *Talks to you about other girls comfortably.*
> So maybe you and him talk on a regular basis. If he talks to you about other girls or a relationship with a girl casually and comfortably, that’s a sure sign he’s not into you (in a romantic sense at least).
> 3. *He has no interest in talking to you.*
> This is plain enough. If he doesn’t have interest in talking to you, it’s pretty much a given he’s not interested.
> 4. *Body language / general behavior: Avoids eye contact, positions body away, doesn’t encourage conversation or volunteer anything about self. Maintains distance from you.*
> If does any of the things listed in #4, those are pretty sure signs he’s not into you. There’s enough *dating advice */ *flirting tips* stuff out their that beats those points into the ground, so I’m not going to spend time on body language stuff.
> 5. *Always busy. No rain check.*
> So you set up a date and *he’s flakey*. *He flakes constantly on you*. He’s not that into you (as they say) – missing a date or two is one thing, but a guy will make the time for a girl he’s interested in. Period.
> 6. *No difference between how he talks to you vs. other friends. Casual tone of voice*.
> When a guy is interested in a girl, there’s always a slight difference in how he interacts with her. It may be subtle, but you’ll notice it. He’ll have some special way of talking to her or extend some special kind of attention to her that he doesn’t generally extend.
> The best thing you can do to tell if a guy likes you is to pay close attention to how he interacts with others in general. Which brings me to my next point…
> 7. * He flirts with you… but he flirts with everyone else, too.*
> This is where I see a lot of girls get confused. They get all wound up because some guy totally swept them off their feet. He got their number, they had a charming conversation, she texts him and…
> Nothing! Where did he go?
> The problem is – that particular guy flirts with every girl. That’s just his way of being.
> In fact, I used to have a habit of calling girls pet names like sweetheart, “hun” and stuff like that. I thought it was affectionate and nice, but I meant it in a platonic way.
> I didn’t realize it, but I ended up leading girls onto thinking I was into them and they started crushing back on me. I honestly wasn’t talking to them this way to be flirtatious, but it came off that way.
> I learned my lesson, and the lesson I want to impart here is that you have to pay attention to how the guy interacts with others in general.
> 8. *He’s a friendly, outgoing guy in general.*
> Similar to above. Pay attention to how he interacts with others.
> 9. *Doesn’t talk about feelings, doesn’t say love you, says he’s “not sure what he feels” (a.k.a. I know what I feel and you would not respond well if I told you…)*
> This is more in the realm of *relationship problem advice*, but I figure it’s worth mentioning here.
> If you’re dating or “seeing” a guy and it’s been going on for several months, the common warning signs that he’s not that interested are that he doesn’t talk much about his feelings.
> Now this isn’t exactly a *relationship advice* post, so don’t get too bent out of shape since all of this should be taken in context. Guys go about expressing their feels in all different ways, so it’s important that you set you antenna to their frequency and let them unfold over time. In general, *giving a guy space *and time to show his feelings is the best policy.
> The only major red flag is when it’s been many months (say… 6 or more) and any conversation around feelings has him saying he’s “not sure” or “doesn’t know” how he feels.
> 10. *Ignores you, shows you disrespect (putting down your values, thoughts, ideas)*
> Some guys have their own issues to work out… and unfortunately, some girls get caught up in being the medium through which the guy works them out.
> To be perfectly honest, I’ve been that guy. I regret saying and doing some things I’ve done and said in relationships – it was a matter of me working out my own issues and I took it out on the girl instead of addressing the person who really had the problem: me.
> Still, if a guy regularly ignores you, disrespects you or puts you down, you need to seriously consider moving on.
> This is sticky usually because when you’re on the receiving end, the painful parts feel bad… but the good times, by contrast, feel amazing.
> It feels like progress… like you made a difference… like you’re worthy. It feels like an emotional roller-coaster. And it can be addicting.
> Problem is, it usually ends up in emotional wreckage. So if you notice a pattern like this, my two cents would be to *get out of it!*


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## Falling Leaves

If you could be a woman for one day, what would you do? 

Would you go out and try to see the world from a perspective completely different from your own? Or would you spend all day standing in front of the mirror playing with your tits?


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## MissJordan

Erbse said:


>


"My nose will grow" is a prediction, rather than an ability to tell the truth or not, and also, is it over an indefinite period (it could be interpreted that over the course of his life, his will grow, ergo he is telling the truth in regards that he can truly believe that he can expect that he will lie while having the nose-growing effect in the future).
Furthermore, it's a lot like saying "the stock-market will go up" and even if it never ever goes up ever again, it is not _necessarily lying_, simply being mistaken.
The only account of truth or lie he could have is what he genuinely believed; if he had sworn off lying and fully expected that vow to last his life, then according to his reality, he is telling a lie and therefore his nose would grow -- though he would have to be able to justify to himself believing that he'll not lie, and then lying.

From this, we can see that Pinocchio would have to be far more specific if he wishes to lull his curse into a paradox.
Even, for instance, if he said "I will make my nose grow right now"; even then it would not be satisfactory. Unless he were to tell a lie within the time socially defined as "right now", the nose would not grow, and therefore it would classify as a lie; the nose would wait for that period of time to be over before 

Unless of course, the grounds of the exact meaning of "right now" is debatable enough for the nose to not grow at all, in the sense that if it grew after one second, would that still count as "right now"? 

I would advise consulting Pinnochio's Nose's lawyer as pertaining to the definition of "right now" under law, and to stop reposting Philosoraptor, because that shit is old.


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## Laney

What type is your wife?

Are you an 'executive' at home as well as at work?

How many children do you have, and how involved are you in their daily care?


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## wiarumas

DeductiveReasoner said:


> What is it like to have a penis?


Biologically speaking, the woman's clit is an under formed penis, so you actually have an idea of what it may be like if it had more surface area (more desensitized). From what I hear, it's the opposite of a woman's desire to have something inside her, when horny, men just want to put it anywhere... and I mean anywhere. Sex is a long plateau of a decent feeling followed by a sharp 5-10 second climax. Men with good control can get close to climax and return back to the plateau for an indefinite amount of time. Afterwards, our brains become normal and its honestly a pretty decent time to talk to us because it may be the only time that sex isn't on our brain.

And it's extremely low maintenance. While women have to worry about menstrual cycle and infections and whatnot, a man only has to "relieve" himself if times get rough. And I suppose morning wood is also a minor inconvenience.


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## wiarumas

n2freedom said:


> It's me again...Do you think the classic checklist of "He's Not That Into You" is a fail-proof way to gauge a guy's level of interest? For instance a checklist like this one.....


It's fine - ask away!

Do I agree with it? It seems like its over analyzing it, but I do agree its true. 

Do I think it's fail proof? No. 

Men are somewhat like hunters with women. We pursue if interested. Its really that simple. However, if we aren't pursuing doesn't mean we aren't interested. That woman, for some reason, just isn't in our sights. An example of this is my wife pointing out to me how some girls from my past she noticed wanted something to do with me, I just never noticed. I guess I was too preoccupied with other prospectives or viewed them as off limits for some reason. In hindsight, I probably would have had sex or date these women. The catch is, would it work out? I'm not entirely sure. Maybe there is a reason I didn't notice them as prospectives. 

Don't overestimate men. We are pretty simple minded when it comes to dating.


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## wiarumas

Falling Leaves said:


> If you could be a woman for one day, what would you do?
> 
> Would you go out and try to see the world from a perspective completely different from your own? Or would you spend all day standing in front of the mirror playing with your tits?


This is a sad question to me, because its a bit loaded and for good reason. It's assuming that sex would be the first priority? Yep, it was my first thought. I would probably spend a bit exploring myself, followed by a normal day of activities, and probably go out to the bars in the evening, drink for free haha. I would most likely aim to understand the girls body, find out what is really going on physically and mentally to apply for when I return to be a man.


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## wiarumas

Laney said:


> What type is your wife?
> 
> Are you an 'executive' at home as well as at work?
> 
> How many children do you have, and how involved are you in their daily care?


My wife is an ISTJ type 5. 

The executive at home question is not easy to answer. Executives, in my opinion, do not micromanage. We set big gears in motion and delegate. Or at least the good ones do. I think this is true at home. My wife is definitely micromanaging and I listen. The way the dishwasher is loaded and stuff put away in cabinets is all by her instruction, mostly because I don't care enough to argue otherwise. Finances, any type of planning, keeping things stocked, etc are all my domain. I think it's this shared responsibility, which is determined by who is better at it, works well for us. If I am the CEO, she is the COO. (But I do cook more than she does). Forget gender roles, it's about the best person for the job. 

At work I am far from an executive, but I do manage people. 

I have 1 kid and I am very involved in the care. I spend at least an hour in the morning with him, couple hours at night depending on what time I get home, all day Fridays when I telework, and we typically do stuff on the weekend. I feed, change diapers, carry, put to sleep, etc. No job is below me or restricted to women only... although my wife is better at administering medication.


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## DemonD

Genius level IQ? In all 'fields'?


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## Snakecharmer

This thread is awesome.


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## Dragearen

Alright. I hope no one minds if I add in some totally contradictory opinions here.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> 1. What do you mean by this? How so?
> 
> Okay, I don't know why I hadn't noticed this thread before,
> but here are some questions off the top of my head ...
> 
> 2.. If one day you woke up to realize you had all sorts of hair in your ears, what would you do?
> *Never had to deal with this, but probably just cut it.*
> 
> 3. Do you lie often?
> *I avoid lying as much as possible. I can count the times I've told a lie in the past I don't even know how long on one hand. If I cannot tell the truth, I avoid saying anything at all.*
> 
> 4. How many times a day do you think of sex? How many of those times involve your wife?
> 
> 5. If your feelings are hurt and it's not necessarily something you can just shake off ...
> (hurt by someone you care about like your wife or good friend) how would you handle the situation?
> *Really depends on what's going on. Most likely, I would mope over it a while, trying to think of the cause, what part I had to play in it, and what I can do about it now. Then I may or may not do it, sometimes just trying to figure it out fixes the issue for me. If it's major, I stop associating with that person if they are not willing to accept their mistake or they do it repeatedly.*
> 
> 6. Would you ever hit a woman?
> Are there ANY scenarios that hitting a woman becomes acceptable?
> *I am of the mind that you should not hit anybody. However, there are extreme scenarios I could think of (albeit very specific ones) in which self defense would be necessary. That said, self defense does not always have to be violent, or harmful to the attacker. You can disable them without causing any serious injury. For someone who doesn't know how to do this, or is unable to, then I would say use what force is necessary to stop the attack and no more. This goes for anyone, woman or man.*
> 
> I hope that's not too many questions for you ... my head is FULL OF QUESTIONS!





Ningsta Kitty said:


> I am Loving the idea of this thread! (awesome idea OP!)
> 
> Okay ... *More Questions for Men:*
> 
> 1. Do all men honestly believe that their intentions, actions and words are blatantly obvious w/in the domain of romantic relationships? if so, why do men and women have so much trouble understanding each other!
> *I actually don't. Most communication is on a subconscious level, which means that the communication can easily be misinterpreted. This can happen with anyone. This happens quite a bit with introverts I think, who think they are communicating more than they actually are. Frankly, I have a hard time understanding the communication of just about anybody. I'm just not good with talking to people. That said, I do try to make myself transparent and obvious, but I'm not very good at it and end up as an introverted enigma. >_<*
> 
> 2. have you ever written your name in the snow?
> *Of course!*
> 
> 3. when was the last time you had a snow ball fight?
> *Yesterday, haha. I was snowmachining with some friends and we kept on doing drive-by snowballings.*
> 
> 4. if you couldn't stand your girlfriends family, nor friends -
> how much would that decrease her attraction for you?
> *I don't know that it would decrease her attraction, but it would definitely make me more wary. I would feel less secure in my relationship with her, and less secure in what I could say to her. I guess that would make the relationship less stable as well. I actually have been in this instance, and I had trouble relating to her at times because of this.*
> 
> 5. what would you do if you woke up one day and realized you had grown a third nipple. Would you have it removed surgically? Would you leave it be and just have sex with your shirt on? Would you take matters into your own hands and tie it off? Or would you be embrace natures anomalies and proudly get it pierced?
> *I don't even know where to start with this. I think I would become a biology teacher and talk about genetic mutation and genetic evolution, using the third nipple as an example. *
> 
> 6. have you ever used duct tape and a paper towel as a bandaid?
> *No... If it's that minor of a wound, I'll just deal with the blood, wash it, and call it good. If there's a risk of infection or it's painful, I'll wait until I get home to put a bandaid on it unless the risk is immediate.*
> 
> Okay , that's all for now ... /sips morning coffee w/ a smile





Krou said:


> How does it feel to run naked with your penis and balls moving up and down, do you like it?does it hurt?does it feel like it's going to detach and fall down?


*Pretty unpleasant, honestly. **It's not painful in any way, just uncomfortable.** This is why I can't understand those gym shorts that some guys wear so much... They're uncomfortable to run in, they make me feel exposed (as is the case in any shorts. I hate shorts), and they look trashy. No offense to anyone here, just my opinion on why I don't wear them.

*Looking at my answers here, I'm not at all surprised that I score as feminine on Bem test... Maybe I should just put myself as gender neutral or something.


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## bales33

My question is... what point was there in stating that you had a genius level IQ? Didn't your genius level mind tell you that very few of us would believe that?


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## petite libellule

Snakecharmer said:


> This thread is awesome.


 I Concur! 

@_bales33_ typically a comment like that would put me off too. but taking the entire big picture into account (all commentary within context) I think it was stated all in fun. However, if in real life reality, the OP struts his stuff w/ a blue tooth glued to his ear, takes 2 parking spaces and addresses women as, "Hey Doll Face" ... then well, I wouldn't like him - but the thread is still cool 

Dear Men,

Is there a common consensus as to what is the best sex position (for a man) or is it purely individual preference? I ask because certain positions are favorites w/ women because of the location of the g-spot so I was just curious if certain positions are better for men in that regard. Blah! I'm not wording this right. But I think you understand what I am trying to ask ...

Note: Thank you for the responses to my other questions! ::laughing!:: :kitteh:


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## wiarumas

bales33 said:


> My question is... what point was there in stating that you had a genius level IQ? Didn't your genius level mind tell you that very few of us would believe that?


I was trying to generate as much fodder as possible to generate questions. I don't care if anyone believes it or not as people's opinions doesn't change anything in my life. I did, however, receive a string of posts related to it, so it was successful in my opinion. 

Also interesting was that each thing listed was "bait" for different lines of questioning. You shown great interest in my IQ which also shows me something about you. One person asked about consulting work which tells me about him. One woman said she doesn't care about men's opinion on anything, which I also found surprisingly informative about her personality only to find her claiming being a "Dom" in another thread. Some others are capitalizing on the open ended nature of the thread and asking as random of questions of possible, etc.


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## Enfpleasantly

Is this thread starting to become a pain to keep up with?

If you could be any other personality type for a day, which would you choose? Why?


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## 2eng

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Is there a common consensus as to what is the best sex position (for a man) or is it purely individual preference? I ask because certain positions are favorites w/ women because of the location of the g-spot so I was just curious if certain positions are better for men in that regard. Blah! I'm not wording this right. But I think you understand what I am trying to ask ...
> 
> Note: Thank you for the responses to my other questions! ::laughing!:: :kitteh:


Since you've asked all men... here goes my opinion. As far as feeling goes, all positions feel good... which makes sense if you think about the logistics of how things work, if you know what I mean. I would say though that because we are very visual, certain positions are definitely preferable based on our view. Obviously there's more to all of this... but this is my watered down answer :happy:


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## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> I Concur!
> 
> @_bales33_ typically a comment like that would put me off too. but taking the entire big picture into account (all commentary within context) I think it was stated all in fun. However, if in real life reality, the OP struts his stuff w/ a blue tooth glued to his ear, takes 2 parking spaces and addresses women as, "Hey Doll Face" ... then well, I wouldn't like him - but the thread is still cool
> 
> Dear Men,
> 
> Is there a common consensus as to what is the best sex position (for a man) or is it purely individual preference? I ask because certain positions are favorites w/ women because of the location of the g-spot so I was just curious if certain positions are better for men in that regard. Blah! I'm not wording this right. But I think you understand what I am trying to ask ...
> 
> Note: Thank you for the responses to my other questions! ::laughing!:: :kitteh:


I typically call them broads, not doll face. Kidding!

It's preference (some prefer top, some bottom, etc), but I'm sure there is some consensus. Positions dont really feel much different for the guy. Its more of a mental thing than a physical difference (excluding comfort, longevity, depth, etc). As novel as the wheelbarrow or piledriver are, it's not getting anyone off easily. 

I prefer novel positions just as much as the next guy just to keep things fresh, but when it comes down to business - as in getting the girl to orgasm - I want the easiest, hottest position possible where I can perform like a marathon man and have control over things (like pace, eye contact, kissing, etc). Missionary (with the legs in various configurations - or grabbing the headboard etc to make it less boring) and doggy style are popular because they are great examples of this. I have no issue with the woman being on top from time to time as well. If I can't have sex with a woman a certain way for a long time, it can't be my favorite.


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## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> Is this thread starting to become a pain to keep up with?
> 
> If you could be any other personality type for a day, which would you choose? Why?


Nope! I'm on my way to 5k posts! Im way overdue, just didnt post a lot. Still got a while to go though. 

That's an interesting question. I would probably be a feeler type to see the world differently. Preferably a more upbeat, fun type. ENFP would be in the running as well as some introverted types. I'd be open to suggestions haha.


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## 2GiveMyHeart2

Does the look of the woman really matter to a guy? I mean like she's old looking but she takes care of herself and things of that nature. What about having sex with a woman that is a little delicate--I mean by petite, but young looking.


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## android654

2GiveMyHeart2 said:


> Does the look of the woman really matter to a guy?


Yeah, but it matters to women as well.



> I mean like she's old looking but she takes care of herself and things of that nature.


Presentation can alter a person's appearance dramatically.



> What about having sex with a woman that is a little delicate--I mean by petite, but young looking.


Just because someone is small in size it doesn't mean they're automatically fragile. Either way I wouldn't consider that a disqualifier.


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## infpaul

How do you see the world's industries and economics changing over the next 30 years or so?


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## wiarumas

2GiveMyHeart2 said:


> Does the look of the woman really matter to a guy? I mean like she's old looking but she takes care of herself and things of that nature. What about having sex with a woman that is a little delicate--I mean by petite, but young looking.


Yes, looks do matter, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I really think women are too hard on themselves chasing down universal beauty - look young, look skinny, etc. Which is a shame because a lot of women don't realize that no matter what you look like, there are men that will find you attractive as you are. 

I'm not trying to fill people with false hope, I'm just trying to say, when I look at a women, I am not comparing her to my ideals of what beauty should look like. I am looking at her and seeing if I find her attractive - and remember, confidence is extremely attractive regardless of looks, so be confident in what you have. 

Also, I don't see any problem with being delicate, petite, etc especially during sex.


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## William I am

This is an excellent thread. I sincerely nominate you for Member of the Month.

That said, here's my question:
I feel we are somewhat similar.
Did you go through any sort of "party" or experimentation phase where you explored what a lot of other people spend their time doing? Did you consciously decide at some point to live your life the way you are now, or has it always been a given?

Cheers


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## wiarumas

infpaul said:


> How do you see the world's industries and economics changing over the next 30 years or so?


I think there will be a major shift in power from developed countries to developing countries (India, china, brazil) as they become more modernized and more importantly, lift millions (or billions) of people out of poverty to educated, middle class citizens. They will hold more political clout as the existing developed countries rely on them for their well being. 

I think we will see a large push in these countries for solutions to sustain this middle class. This includes power, medicine, food, as well as luxary foods. Developed countries can capitalize on this if they haven't already. 

I think a lot of emphasis will be placed on companies with good images/brands as social networking, praising and shaming responsible and irresponsible companies that are not morally committed to making the world a better place.

I also think employment will be a huge concern for years to come as populations continue to soar while technology breakthroughs reduce the need for that amount of manpower.


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## wiarumas

William I am said:


> This is an excellent thread. I sincerely nominate you for Member of the Month.
> 
> That said, here's my question:
> I feel we are somewhat similar.
> Did you go through any sort of "party" or experimentation phase where you explored what a lot of other people spend their time doing? Did you consciously decide at some point to live your life the way you are now, or has it always been a given?
> 
> Cheers


Thank you. 

When I was in 8th grade, I had to write an autobiography. One I the chapters was plans going forward. When I visited home for the first time with my newborn son at that time, my dad pulled it out of the attic and told me how eerie it was that I followed my 13 year old self's plan all the way up to marriage. I wasn't really suprised as it was my plan haha. So, yes, it was a given (sort of). 

Now within that plan I had a lot of leeway to live life. High school wasn't very challenging for me so I worked on cars and played in a band in my free time. You better believed I partied with those guys. When the time came, I left them behind where they are still to this day trying to relive their glory days. 

In college it was a similar story. I did well, picked up minors, plenty of extra curricular activities, but still joined a fraternity. Again, I had a great time - and my friends can attest to it haha - but I buckle down when I have to. I held 3 officer positions, ran some philthropy events, and I worked hard to get a good internship which would act as a gateway to a good job which would grant valuable experience which would set me up for an open ended opportunity to enter whatever industry I want. 

The only part of my life that I didn't expect was marriage at a relative young age (25) and children in my late 20s. I was expecting more along the lines of early 30s, but I got bagged and tagged from a serious girlfriend in college. But, what I can tell you is that you don't pass up good opportunities if things are happening earlier than expected. 

From a personality standpoint, here are my functions in order:
Te, Ti, Ni, Se, Ne, Si, Fi, Fe


----------



## Mr. Meepers

wiarumas said:


> I was trying to generate as much fodder as possible to generate questions. I don't care if anyone believes it or not as people's opinions doesn't change anything in my life. I did, however, receive a string of posts related to it, so it was successful in my opinion.
> 
> Also interesting was that each thing listed was "bait" for different lines of questioning. You shown great interest in my IQ which also shows me something about you. One person asked about consulting work which tells me about him. One woman said she doesn't care about men's opinion on anything, which I also found surprisingly informative about her personality only to find her claiming being a "Dom" in another thread. Some others are capitalizing on the open ended nature of the thread and asking as random of questions of possible, etc.


I agree, a lot of it has to do with interpretation ... Like I thought your first post was fun and inviting (I am disappointed that you did not say you wrestled grizzly bears ). ... As for the person that said she isn't looking for a man's opinion, I totally took that to mean she doesn't seek out opinions based on gender. I think one can take this thread as "all guys are the same" (That is what I thought after only reading the title), or "guys are experts" maybe, but I think reading the first post and all the random questions, it is just a fun thread, and it is a thread that does exposes how we view men and women and that is not the case for everyone. So I think it is a good thread .... and fun too ^__^

Also, there needs to be more random questions dealing with the open ended nature of this thread 



Enfpleasantly said:


> If you could be any other personality type for a day, which would you choose? Why?


Well, I am an INFP, so I have Fi-Ne-Si-Te 
So Ti-Se-Ni-Fe ... and ISTP maybe ... although I am already an introvert, so ESTP.
I would like to invert the direction of my cognitive functions and put them in reverse or near revers order ... That way it is very different to the way I naturally think and it might give me a drastic perspective on how to think about the world and how others think ... Also, I'm not an extrovert, so I would have another perspective right there

ESTP



2GiveMyHeart2 said:


> Does the look of the woman really matter to a guy? I mean like she's old looking but she takes care of herself and things of that nature. What about having sex with a woman that is a little delicate--I mean by petite, but young looking.


I'm young and inexperienced, and I'll answer just for myself.

"_Does the look of the woman really matter to a guy?_"
Depends on the situation. If I don't know her, then all I have to go by are looks ... maybe mannerisms and what she talks about. I have been attracted to how someone acts and things (weird people are sexy ), but if I don't know her then looks play a much bigger role. ... If I do know her, and I am attracted to her on the inside and like her as a person, although I still have some awareness as to what others might see her as (not as much), I will see her as beautiful. ... And, in my experience, not just for women that I had zero attraction towards their overall physical appearance, but also women that I had some negative attraction towards their physical appearance (if that makes sense)
Edit: Also anyone who is interested in my fetish is also is a bit more attractive ... And if someone wants me, I will want them a little more (and if someone thinks little of me, then I won't be attracted to them either).

"_I mean like she's old looking but she takes care of herself and things of that nature._ "
Usually, on a purely physical level, I am attracted to people around my own age. ... And, as I get older, the people who are 18 seem to look more and more like kids to me (even though I am still young) and it would appear that as I age my tastes are aging with me ... I have a feeling it has to do with the people I hang out with getting older too .. Or maybe they just give off vibes of being immature idk
I have also been attracted to older women and women who look older than they are on a physical level. ... In fact, I have been attracted to women my own age that showed some aging in their face for their age, like she may of had deep laugh lines and all, but her skin itself did not loose its elasticity ... she looked happy a lot ^__^ (and she did laugh a lot ^__^ ... speaking of laughter, I find genuine smiles to be very attractive). I attracted to the rest of her body (I won't lie), but as I got to know her, I started to see her face as being very pretty too.

"_What about having sex with a woman that is a little delicate--I mean by petite, but young looking._"
If she is attractive to me, I might have wild fantasies with an imaginary woman that looks just like her in my mind ... but it depends how comfortable I am with her. I had sex with someone I did not know and it made me feel very self-conscious, I would rather be with someone I know and truly trust.
As far as the rest of the question, I don't know ... I need more data :wink:

* *





More Data!!!


----------



## petite libellule

For the OP (or anyone else w/ experience) , you mentioned you write ... do you outline short stories? 

I can never seem to get outlines down. I tend to have a cluster fuck of stories in my head and can't ever get them out. So instead I have nothing but a bunch of prose type ramblings all in bits and pieces. It frustrates me. Any suggestions? Note: I do not want to be a writer NOW. It's a hobby I really enjoy. I just figure being in my early thirties, now is the time to maybe attempt to mold it in some sort of direction (if that makes any sense to you).


----------



## bales33

wiarumas said:


> I was trying to generate as much fodder as possible to generate questions. I don't care if anyone believes it or not as people's opinions doesn't change anything in my life. I did, however, receive a string of posts related to it, so it was successful in my opinion.
> 
> Also interesting was that each thing listed was "bait" for different lines of questioning. You shown great interest in my IQ which also shows me something about you. One person asked about consulting work which tells me about him. One woman said she doesn't care about men's opinion on anything, which I also found surprisingly informative about her personality only to find her claiming being a "Dom" in another thread. Some others are capitalizing on the open ended nature of the thread and asking as random of questions of possible, etc.



Indeed, that makes since... and like a stupid fish I fell for your bait, well played.


----------



## RetroVortex

Ok so you just go out of the house to defrost the car before work, when you then suddenly see that Godzilla is about to step on, and crush your home and everything in it.
You only have enough time to go back in the house and rescue 5 things. So what 5 things do you go back for?


----------



## Death Persuades

If everything is something, and nothing is also something... Is everything nothing?


----------



## petite libellule

*More Men Questions: 

*_I don't expect all these to be answered. you can choose any from this list, I'll be happy 
I just like asking questions to be honest _
:: :: ::

In the hypothetical you are still single (if you aren't) , w/ regards to a future SO (not a fling),
and you HAD to choose, just curious what the preference would be ... 

1. would you rather come home after work to a clean house, or a gourmet meal ?
2. A smiley happy very average looking woman, or a bipolar knock out
(as in the woman of your pervy dreams)?
3. would you reject true love because the girl didn't make enough money? 
or wasn't up to par(in shape) as you would like? 
4. what would you expect(hope) a women to think about you, 
if you sent her an internet flower opposed to a real flower?

Yes/No - Would you date a woman who ...

5. Has a wooden peg leg (but she's crazy rich)?
6. bald woman but who has several very real looking wigs
7. an armless woman but who can play mozart w/ her toes
8. a woman w/ 20 rings on her neck . but she gives phenomenal head
9. a severe burn victim but she's a Boston marathoner personal trainer person
10. a woman with tattooed sleeves and piercings EVERYWHERE, 
but she is as intelligent as they come
11. a woman who thinks she was Cleopatra in her past life, 
but she fits all other criteria of "the perfect woman"
13. I've heard that men often choose women that physically resemble their mother 
(or other important female person from childhood) How accurate of a statement is that?

* The infamous what would you do ... if you woke up as a woman?*
What would your FIRST DAY as a woman entail?


----------



## Enfpleasantly

OMG @_Ningsta Kitty_, you kill me. I love every one of your questions. Wooden peg leg, lots of nose hair, haha!

edit...ear hair, ear hair!!


----------



## wiarumas

RetroVortex said:


> Ok so you just go out of the house to defrost the car before work, when you then suddenly see that Godzilla is about to step on, and crush your home and everything in it.
> You only have enough time to go back in the house and rescue 5 things. So what 5 things do you go back for?


Wife, kid, wallet, cell phone, car keys. 

Ironically, not much different than any other time I leave the house.


----------



## petite libellule

Enfpleasantly said:


> OMG @_Ningsta Kitty_, you kill me. I love every one of your questions. Wooden peg leg, lots of nose hair, haha!


Thank you! :laughing: LOL! It was EAR HAIR ... so many men in their older age get crazy amounts of ear hair. I'm curious! I think men at that age just don't care or something whereas a woman would be on top of that shit! Lol!!! 

-_- I must admit ... that was the tip of the iceberg. my head is ALWAYS full of questions ... 

I suppose I should let them catch up


----------



## wiarumas

josue0098 said:


> If everything is something, and nothing is also something... Is everything nothing?


Draw a large circle. Label this something. Inside, draw 2 exclusive circles. Label these everything and nothing. Both can reside in the something circle of something and remain mutually exclusive. This is a Venn diagram by the way. 

Let me use different data to show how it works without linguistics being an issue:

If cats are mammals, and dogs are mammals, are cats dogs?

The issue with what your example is that its attempting to use a play on words/meaning to commit a math error.


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Thank you! :laughing: LOL! It was EAR HAIR ... so many men in their older age get crazy amounts of ear hair. I'm curious! I think men at that age just don't care or something whereas a woman would be on top of that shit! Lol!!!
> 
> -_- I must admit ... that was the tip of the iceberg. my head is ALWAYS full of questions ...
> 
> I suppose I should let them catch up


I'll get to you. Dinner first haha.


----------



## Death Persuades

wiarumas said:


> Draw a large circle. Label this something. Inside, draw 2 exclusive circles. Label these everything and nothing. Both can reside in the something circle of something and remain mutually exclusive. This is a Venn diagram by the way.
> 
> Let me use different data to show how it works without linguistics being an issue:
> 
> If cats are mammals, and dogs are mammals, are cats dogs?
> 
> The issue with what your example is that its attempting to use a play on words/meaning to commit a math error.


I thought I would confuse you, for sure!


----------



## petite libellule

josue0098 said:


> I thought I would confuse you, for sure!


Don't be silly, you need indoor plumbing for that job :tongue:


----------



## Death Persuades

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Don't be silly, you need indoor plumbing for that job :tongue:


and pizza.


----------



## petite libellule

josue0098 said:


> and pizza.


 I meant that you would have to be female to have the capacity to confuse a man. But meh ... pizza works too. ESPECIALLY if it's a garbage pizza w/ NO MEAT! *nods*


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> *More Men Questions:
> 
> *_I don't expect all these to be answered. you can choose any from this list, I'll be happy
> I just like asking questions to be honest _
> :: :: ::
> 
> In the hypothetical you are still single (if you aren't) , w/ regards to a future SO (not a fling),
> and you HAD to choose, just curious what the preference would be ...


You should look for work in public polling.



> 1. would you rather come home after work to a clean house, or a gourmet meal ?


Clean house.



> 2. A smiley happy very average looking woman, or a bipolar knock out


Bipolar knockout.



> (as in the woman of your pervy dreams)?


How'd you know the woman of my pervy dreams is crazy?



> 3. would you reject true love because the girl didn't make enough money?


I'm not too concerned with money.



> or wasn't up to par(in shape) as you would like?


If by "in shape" you mean athletically, then that would be a problem.



> 4. what would you expect(hope) a women to think about you,
> if you sent her an internet flower opposed to a real flower?


If I did that then I would probably be seen as unoriginal, thoughtless and feckless when it comes to displaying my thoughts or emotions.



> Yes/No - Would you date a woman who ...
> 
> 5. Has a wooden peg leg (but she's crazy rich)?


I don't see what one thing has to do with the other.



> 6. bald woman but who has several very real looking wigs


Just keep her scalp the way it is.



> 7. an armless woman but who can play mozart w/ her toes


...I don't know.



> 8. a woman w/ 20 rings on her neck . but she gives phenomenal head


Hmm... Sure, why not.



> 9. a severe burn victim but she's a Boston marathoner personal trainer person


I'll be honest. How severe are we talking here?



> 10. a woman with tattooed sleeves and piercings EVERYWHERE,
> but she is as intelligent as they come


She doesn't even have to be that intelligent if she's modded like that.



> 11. a woman who thinks she was Cleopatra in her past life,
> but she fits all other criteria of "the perfect woman"


No, because in no time I'd want to lobotomize myself because I know incessant conversations about the zodiac and spirituality would be right around the corner.



> 13. I've heard that men often choose women that physically resemble their mother
> (or other important female person from childhood) How accurate of a statement is that?


Not even close. In fact, it's always been the inverse. Then again I'm not that attached to my family, so I'm probably abnormal in that sense.



> * The infamous what would you do ... if you woke up as a woman?*
> What would your FIRST DAY as a woman entail?


Hmm... I'd probably spend it in bed. You know, reading... Yeah, reading a book and nothing else.


----------



## Death Persuades

Ningsta Kitty said:


> I meant that you would have to be female to have the capacity to confuse a man. But meh ... pizza works too. ESPECIALLY if it's a garbage pizza w/ NO MEAT! *nods*


I didn't get that XD I thought you meant actual indoor plumbing LOL!!! I AM MAKING A PIZZA RIGHT NOW!


----------



## wiarumas

Answers are again in quote to reduce editing. 



Ningsta Kitty said:


> *More Men Questions:
> 
> *_I don't expect all these to be answered. you can choose any from this list, I'll be happy
> I just like asking questions to be honest _
> :: :: ::
> 
> In the hypothetical you are still single (if you aren't) , w/ regards to a future SO (not a fling),
> and you HAD to choose, just curious what the preference would be ...
> 
> 1. would you rather come home after work to a clean house, or a gourmet meal ?
> 
> *Gourmet meal. Cooking is a daily thing and a house only needs to be cleaned every now and then. I'd be saving more time by opting for cooked meals. *
> 
> 2. A smiley happy very average looking woman, or a bipolar knock out
> (as in the woman of your pervy dreams)?
> 
> *Average sane woman - marriage material; Bipolar woman - dating material;*
> 
> 3. would you reject true love because the girl didn't make enough money?
> or wasn't up to par(in shape) as you would like?
> 
> *No. Money is not a trait I look for in relationships. Out of shape may be debatable depending on how far out of shape and other redeeming factors. *
> 
> 4. what would you expect(hope) a women to think about you,
> if you sent her an internet flower opposed to a real flower?
> 
> *i would hope she would like it. I would expect her to find me cheap.*
> 
> Yes/No - Would you date a woman who ...
> 
> *should I assume all these women ahave date worthy looks and personality unless otherwise stated?*
> 
> *scale: yes is a high confidence yes, sure is a low confidence yes, maybe depends on other factors but not a no*
> 
> 5. Has a wooden peg leg (but she's crazy rich)? *sure*
> 6. bald woman but who has several very real looking wigs *yes*
> 7. an armless woman but who can play mozart w/ her toes *sure*
> 8. a woman w/ 20 rings on her neck . but she gives phenomenal head *sure*
> 9. a severe burn victim but she's a Boston marathoner personal trainer person *maybe*
> 10. a woman with tattooed sleeves and piercings EVERYWHERE,
> but she is as intelligent as they come *sure*
> 11. a woman who thinks she was Cleopatra in her past life,
> but she fits all other criteria of "the perfect woman" *yes*
> 
> 13. I've heard that men often choose women that physically resemble their mother
> (or other important female person from childhood) How accurate of a statement is that?
> 
> *I think there is some truth in it. It's not just physical attraction, but personality wise too. I believe the theory is that we attempt to seek out quality mother or father traits decided upon our own relationship with your own parents to recreate what we consider a conducive environment to raise a child. It's more true than I like to admit in retrospect. I think it's subconscious or just coincidence. *
> 
> * The infamous what would you do ... if you woke up as a woman?*
> What would your FIRST DAY as a woman entail?
> *this was already asked. *


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Ningsta Kitty said:


> For the OP (or anyone else w/ experience) , you mentioned you write ... do you outline short stories?
> 
> I can never seem to get outlines down. I tend to have a cluster fuck of stories in my head and can't ever get them out. So instead I have nothing but a bunch of prose type ramblings all in bits and pieces. It frustrates me. Any suggestions? Note: I do not want to be a writer NOW. It's a hobby I really enjoy. I just figure being in my early thirties, now is the time to maybe attempt to mold it in some sort of direction (if that makes any sense to you).


I have written a couple of planned out short stories, some on the spot short stories, some poems, and quite a few skits. ... So I will try to help you out.

Okay, so one thing I noticed is that everyone seems to have their own writing style and, ime, most people like writing styles that are very different than theirs (I think it maybe it is because it is made in a way that is different than how you think). 

I may have ideas to jot down, but I don't like formal outlines ... For planned out stories, I think of the entire story and then I start writing and I write a very similar story ... I prefer to write it at once because I like to feel the story as I am trying it.

As far as on the spot writing, usually I have done those in writing games where you have some rules and you create and share a story on the spot. The key to those is to put yourself in the story and just keep writing ... don't cross anything out (okay, I do sometimes) and let the story take you ... really feel the story, add your own knowledge in it, and put who you are into the story itself. ... 
http://personalitycafe.com/infp-for...quarter-square-writing-games.html#post2615417
I try to do that with stories, skits, and poems that I think of in my head too ... I write how I feel and I know the general direction I want the story to go in and any pending "rules" I may try to follow (sometimes I bend them ) and I just feel the story as I write it and try to write it in one go. 



RetroVortex said:


> Ok so you just go out of the house to defrost the car before work, when you then suddenly see that Godzilla is about to step on, and crush your home and everything in it.
> You only have enough time to go back in the house and rescue 5 things. So what 5 things do you go back for?


Clearly, I would get the projectile explosives and blow Godzilla up 

- Well If there are any living beings, clearly I would same them first
- Wallet (money, bank cards, ... so I can by food, rent a place, and live)
- Computer
- External hard drive (has all/most of my pictures) 

At this point I ran out of time because I can't think of what I want to save that quickly lol
Although I can be a sentimental person, and I don't like to get ride of things ... objects are just objects, all the memories are in my head and in pictures, so I think I would be good with that





Ningsta Kitty said:


> *More Men Questions:
> 
> *_I don't expect all these to be answered. you can choose any from this list, I'll be happy
> I just like asking questions to be honest _
> :: :: ::
> 
> In the hypothetical you are still single (if you aren't) , w/ regards to a future SO (not a fling),
> and you HAD to choose, just curious what the preference would be ...


*1. would you rather come home after work to a clean house, or a gourmet meal ?
*Clean as in sanitary ... or clean as in not cluttered?
Sanitary comes first lol .... Otherwise I would prefer food ^__^ ... Although, I like cooking a little bit ... I much prefer eating  ... also sometimes I feel faint if I don't eat sometime right away 
clutter is way below food 

*2. A smiley happy very average looking woman, or a bipolar knock out
(as in the woman of your pervy dreams)?*
Well, since you made it clear that we are talking about a long term relationship, the average looking woman.

*3. would you reject true love because the girl didn't make enough money? *
Depends where I am I suppose ... if she could not financially support herself, and I was struggling to support myself then I'm not sure it would work (I mean like struggling to eat and survive poor ... I would be friends, but I would understand if ... idk ... I don't think I would reject her, but I would want to help her and I may feel inadequate if she can't support herself and I can't give her the financial support she needs ...idk)
... Otherwise no, I would not

*or wasn't up to par(in shape) as you would like? *
I've fallen for people who are not that in shape ... If I love her, I don't think I would stop loving her because of her weight or how much she makes.

*4. what would you expect(hope) a women to think about you, 
if you sent her an internet flower opposed to a real flower?*
Why am I sending the flowers? ... Did I do something wrong :shocked: ... Or is it an anniversary or something?
Well, real flowers are always better 
I would hope that she thinks it is the thought that counts lol (maybe I sent her a picture of a flower that is important to her that just became extinct last week ).
Well things and things, I would hope that she is as happy to be with me as I would be to be with her

Wait... are we talking about future gf or someone we are not dating but interested in?
Um, internet flowers would mean ... hmmmm ... you're my friend  .... Although I can be silly so it could mean other things ... such as talk to me more or a small gesture of flirtation to say "hey, you are interesting, but I don't want it to be clear that I'm interested as I want to see how you feel about me first" ... It really depends on the context (it could just mean, "Sorry you have a cold, get well soon" ... "Sorry you tripped and fell, get well soon, haha you fell but did not get hurt "




> Yes/No - Would you date a woman who ...


Date as in go out on a date and see if I like her ... Or be in a relationship with? ... My answers would probably be the same for both lol ... Well, I'm much more likely to go out on a date with someone (there is nothing to lose) than date someone lol


*5. Has a wooden peg leg (but she's crazy rich)?*
A Pirate ... She is a Pirate!!!!! Hell Yes!!!!! ... I would want her booty, even if she was not rich :wink:

*6. bald woman but who has several very real looking wigs*
Yes ... also some women look really good while being bald

*7. an armless woman but who can play mozart w/ her toes*
Will she play the piano with her feet for me?  ... Sounds like there would be a lot of challenges (her having no arms and all), but she sounds like she would be one interesting woman ... so yes ^__^

*8. a woman w/ 20 rings on her neck . but she gives phenomenal head*
If I fell in love with her, yes ... otherwise, probably not ... unless it was just for one night 

*9. a severe burn victim but she's a Boston marathoner personal trainer person*
Whenever I see severe burn victims on tv that have gathered their life back and are happy with themselves, I tend to admire their strength ... so if she is a caring person, I would probably think she is beautiful ... So I will say yes

_*10. a woman with tattooed sleeves and piercings EVERYWHERE,* 
*but she is as intelligent as they come*
_Sometimes I like tattoos ... piercings would bother me more ... I am very affectionate and playful ... and horny  ... so I would not want to accidentally cause harm to her because of her piercings lol ... Although, with all that metal, maybe she would look like a cyborg  ... and that would be cool 
I like intelligent ... there are things I like more ... it depends on how much the piercings would get in the way
Probably not

*11. a woman who thinks she was Cleopatra in her past life, 
but she fits all other criteria of "the perfect woman"*
Depends how it affects her life ... Does she command to be worshiped, even outside the bedroom :shocked: 
If it does not really affect her life and she just believes in reincarnation and she doesn't mind that I don't believe, then yes ... sounds more like her religion to me

*13. I've heard that men often choose women that physically resemble their mother 
(or other important female person from childhood) How accurate of a statement is that?*
:shocked: ... I don't know ... I've like women of all shapes and not all of them look the same ... My last girlfriend was Asian and my Mom is not Asian :tongue: ... I suppose it is possible, depending on what we mean by resemble ... My last girlfriend, my Mom, and my sister are all under 5 feet tall ... other than that, she was not like either of them lol
So, I'm thinking it is not that accurate (I am assuming guys tend to date women who are all noticeably different from each other and enough variation from the average face ... and I am assuming, the woman he choices to marry among those woman is fairly random with respect to looks since he dated them ... although most men could just keep dating until they find someone who looks like his Mom :shocked ... I still think it is pretty random, but I will say that if a guy liked his Mom growing up, he may make certain character associations to her looks and that may make him physically attracted to women that look like his mother.
So, my guess is no, but there is a hint of truth
The whole association with character and looks thing ... this will explain my reasoning for that:
1) http://personalitycafe.com/infp-for...ge-physical-attractiveness-5.html#post2598624
2) http://personalitycafe.com/infp-for...e-physical-attractiveness-17.html#post2923178



> * The infamous what would you do ... if you woke up as a woman?*
> What would your FIRST DAY as a woman entail?


Wake up ... Freak the hell out ... Wonder if I have some deadly sex changing disease ... grope and fondly myself ... masturbate ... Freak out some more ... see a doctor and appear like a crazy person as I ask them to find out if I am going to die or not ... Hopefully the next day, once I realize that I am not going to die and someone did not operate on me in my sleep, will be better lol


----------



## 2GiveMyHeart2

wiarumas said:


> Yes, looks do matter, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I really think women are too hard on themselves chasing down universal beauty - look young, look skinny, etc. Which is a shame because a lot of women don't realize that no matter what you look like, there are men that will find you attractive as you are.
> 
> I'm not trying to fill people with false hope, I'm just trying to say, when I look at a women, I am not comparing her to my ideals of what beauty should look like. I am looking at her and seeing if I find her attractive - and remember, *confidence is extremely attractive regardless of looks, so be confident in what you have.
> *
> Also, I don't see any problem with being delicate, petite, etc especially during sex.


Well...I'm hopeless. All I have are my looks and that's failing. *sigh* Off topic and wet blanket rant: It's not fair! I like a guy and I find out he's taken.


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> For the OP (or anyone else w/ experience) , you mentioned you write ... do you outline short stories?
> 
> I can never seem to get outlines down. I tend to have a cluster fuck of stories in my head and can't ever get them out. So instead I have nothing but a bunch of prose type ramblings all in bits and pieces. It frustrates me. Any suggestions? Note: I do not want to be a writer NOW. It's a hobby I really enjoy. I just figure being in my early thirties, now is the time to maybe attempt to mold it in some sort of direction (if that makes any sense to you).


Whoops, missed this one.

Like the previous poster said, everyone has their style. What I can tell you about myself is that it won't work for you. I plan things out, let it all sit out like I'm going to prepare a meal... Mise en place. I treat every person like a chess piece. They have their nature, their incentives, their strengths and weaknesses. I make the setting. I make plot milestones and then I write what is mostly transitional pieces between my plot points.

I wouldn't recommend it though - you may have to find what works for you. I suggest on small writing exercises that will compliment your existing writing. Ask people for 3 random words and try to make a scene where all 3 words are used. Ask people for 3 random objects and try to make a scene with those 3 things. Write a story and whenever you run out of steam, have someone come up with a random plot twist (new character, a murder, war breaks out, sickness, etc). You won't make a story, but its good practice for your hobby. 

I'm also a fan of the nanowrimo event (google it). It stands for national novel writing month. Every November there is a contest where you have to write 50,000 word story in 1 month. That's 1667 words every day for 1 month. I suggest trying it one year... Or if you can't wait, try it any month.


----------



## dagnytaggart

This question is unrelated to cock.

If someone was like you in every other respect, all else equal, at what IQ level would you consider the bottom cut off to be precisely as successful (professionally) as you've been?

And let's assume that the proportionate variations among different sections of the IQ test were unchanged. The average is just lower.

Now that I asked this, you know all about me. No, I do not have a "genius IQ" (160+). It's high enough that I was able to put on my underwear all by myself. What color is it? If you're really a mind reader, you can answer back in Stupidese.


----------



## wiarumas

Answers in quote. 



dagnytaggart said:


> This question is unrelated to cock.
> 
> If someone was like you in every other respect, all else equal, at what IQ level would you consider the bottom cut off to be precisely as successful (professionally) as you've been?
> 
> And let's assume that the proportionate variations among different sections of the IQ test were unchanged. The average is just lower.
> 
> *Impossible to answer. I do know that if I had a lower IQ, it may have been more difficult to retrace my steps, overcoming my obstacles, and accomplish the things I have done, but it does not mean it would be impossible for any person of reasonable intelligence. *
> 
> Now that I asked this, you know all about me.
> 
> *Thats a pretty crazy assumption you are making. I never made such a claim. Why did you mention this? Or was this a weak attempt at a strawman?*
> 
> No, I do not have a "genius IQ" (160+). It's high enough that I was able to put on my underwear all by myself.
> 
> *Its 140+ for most scales. Which one are you referring to? Congrats about your underwear by the way. *
> 
> What color is it? If you're really a mind reader, you can answer back in Stupidese.
> 
> *How would I know such a thing and when did I claim to be a mind reader?*


----------



## dagnytaggart

wiarumas said:


> Answers in quote.


Think you're taking things a little more seriously than was intended.


----------



## WickerDeer

Would you feel violated if you thought a woman had sexual fantasies about you, but wasn't rude or pushy or anything? Would you feel offended?

Edit: And we're talking about a woman who you don't really know intimately, and who isn't being pushy--and is neutrally attractive to you.

I know you're only one man, but thanks for opening yourself up to answering questions like this.


----------



## Up and Away

What is the most fun thing I could possibly be doing right now?


----------



## petite libellule

Mr. Meepers stealing the Pirates booty! :tongue: your answers had me giggling as usual! 
Though wiarumas embracing his third nipple was super funny too! :laughing: This thread is fun! 

Thank you @wiarumas & @Mr. Meepers for the feedback/suggestions regarding writing! 

All great ideas! 

Last one for the night ...

Do men authentically enjoy women as just friends, point blank? 
Or is there always some sort of "keeping options open/ya never know"(ulterior motive) element there?


----------



## Holgrave

Okay. I don't know if any of you are runners, but this one has been bugging me for a while. Why do joggers run in the road even if there is a perfectly good sidewalk? It seems nuts to me seeing as most joggers run when it's dark out and no one (that I've seen) wears reflective clothing. I know it's said that asphalt is better for your knees, but I would think that life would outweigh the possibility of having bad knees...

And I just realized that's more of a rant, so I'll leave that as it is so someone can answer that for me.


----------



## wiarumas

dagnytaggart said:


> Think you're taking things a little more seriously than was intended.


Haha okay, apologies then. My sarcasm detector must have been weakened by the beer. I know it's a random Tuesday, don't judge haha. 

I believe the underwear was a trick question. You aren't wearing any! But my mind reading may have had a rogue signal from now from the original post. If at any point you removed them from now to the time of the original post, that's what I'm picking up.


----------



## WickerDeer

Holgrave said:


> Okay. I don't know if any of you are runners, but this one has been bugging me for a while. Why do joggers run in the road even if there is a perfectly good sidewalk? It seems nuts to me seeing as most joggers run when it's dark out and no one (that I've seen) wears reflective clothing. I know it's said that asphalt is better for your knees, but I would think that life would outweigh the possibility of having bad knees...
> 
> And I just realized that's more of a rant, so I'll leave that as it is so someone can answer that for me.


I'm not a runner, but I imagine that the bad knees is important as running really can wear down your knees, and if you do it regularly you should take this type of thing seriously. Like really, having bad knees would suck for most people, but probably moreso for a runner. 

Also, if you're running on the sidewalk then you'll have to go around people etc. Running on the road is a lot less interactive.


----------



## wiarumas

meltedsorbet said:


> Would you feel violated if you thought a woman had sexual fantasies about you, but wasn't rude or pushy or anything? Would you feel offended?
> 
> Edit: And we're talking about a woman who you don't really know intimately, and who isn't being pushy--and is neutrally attractive to you.
> 
> I know you're only one man, but thanks for opening yourself up to answering questions like this.


Not in the least bit... Even if it was rude/pushy. In fact, I guarantee there are some that have. Possibly at work. 

Not only that, but a gay man once told me it as well, which is in fact more alarming than a woman, but I still didn't find it offensive. I took it as a compliment.


----------



## 2eng

meltedsorbet said:


> Would you feel violated if you thought a woman had sexual fantasies about you, but wasn't rude or pushy or anything? Would you feel offended?
> 
> Edit: And we're talking about a woman who you don't really know intimately, and who isn't being pushy--and is neutrally attractive to you.
> 
> I know you're only one man, but thanks for opening yourself up to answering questions like this.


Obviously I'm not the op but I feel safe answering this for 99.9% of the approximate 3.4 billion men on the planet... pffft no


----------



## wiarumas

Souled In said:


> What is the most fun thing I could possibly be doing right now?


Sex


----------



## Holgrave

meltedsorbet said:


> I'm not a runner, but I imagine that the bad knees is important as running really can wear down your knees, and if you do it regularly you should take this type of thing seriously. Like really, having bad knees would suck for most people, but probably moreso for a runner.
> 
> Also, if you're running on the sidewalk then you'll have to go around people etc. Running on the road is a lot less interactive.


At 4 in the morning there aren't a lot of people on the sidewalk.


----------



## WickerDeer

Holgrave said:


> At 4 in the morning there aren't a lot of people on the sidewalk.


I'd say that it's the knees thing. I knew an 85 year old man who ran regularly. He attributed his longevity to running on the right surfaces. For an athlete, these things are super important. Also, and this is a stretch, but maybe runners get into the long distance mindset, where a road takes advantage over a sidewalk.

Personally, I can only jog where there are no cars or people--on the beach at night. But I stopped after a guy started stalking me. It was just a bit too freaky. I did it a bit during daylight--but it's just something I don't want to be around others for (like housecleaning and a lot of other things).


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Mr. Meepers stealing the Pirates booty! :tongue: your answers had me giggling as usual!
> Though wiarumas embracing his third nipple was super funny too! :laughing: This thread is fun!
> 
> Thank you @wiarumas & @Mr. Meepers for the feedback/suggestions regarding writing!
> 
> All great ideas!
> 
> Last one for the night ...
> 
> Do men authentically enjoy women as just friends, point blank?
> Or is there always some sort of "keeping options open/ya never know"(ulterior motive) element there?


Let me answer it this way - I don't recall ever having a female friend that I didn't have, to some degree, some level of sexual interest in. Which means I want to have sex with all close females, or I only befriend girls who I find to some degree attractive. With that said, it does not mean I would make a move or have sex with them given the opportunity.


----------



## wiarumas

Holgrave said:


> Okay. I don't know if any of you are runners, but this one has been bugging me for a while. Why do joggers run in the road even if there is a perfectly good sidewalk? It seems nuts to me seeing as most joggers run when it's dark out and no one (that I've seen) wears reflective clothing. I know it's said that asphalt is better for your knees, but I would think that life would outweigh the possibility of having bad knees...
> 
> And I just realized that's more of a rant, so I'll leave that as it is so someone can answer that for me.


You answered your own question, but the rant was appreciated. My ISTJ wife said the same exact thing. And same with cyclists haha. The only thing I have to add is, never underestimate people to go against any type of law, rule, suggestion, or even common sense.


----------



## wiarumas

2eng said:


> Obviously I'm not the op but I feel safe answering this for 99.9% of the approximate 3.4 billion men on the planet... pffft no


Lol my thoughts exactly. Don't hold back if you see any other questions you can answer. Like I said before, it's an ask a guy thread, not necessarily ask wiarumas. I'm just going to try to answer all of them. Others can chime in to offer some opinions to see common ground and whatnot.


----------



## WamphyriThrall

What advice would you give someone considering a STEM (or any that involves heavy math requirements) major in the near future? I don't have the most impressive track record when it comes to academics, but do enjoy the challenges that came with advanced mathematics. At this point I'm simply learning what I can here and there using books+sites, and not even sure if I'll go back for a second degree in a related field.

The stakes are higher, I just don't to commit to something for no other reason than to prove a point to myself and with no long-term goals. It's a bit late to change majors, since I've only about one year to go, so switching seems a waste of time and money.


----------



## Dragearen

Ningsta Kitty said:


> *More Men Questions:
> 
> *_I don't expect all these to be answered. you can choose any from this list, I'll be happy
> I just like asking questions to be honest _
> :: :: ::
> 
> In the hypothetical you are still single (if you aren't) , w/ regards to a future SO (not a fling),
> and you HAD to choose, just curious what the preference would be ...
> 
> 1. would you rather come home after work to a clean house, or a gourmet meal ?
> *Probably a clean house, though I would probably worry about it a bit. I get very paranoid about people moving my stuff.*
> 2. A smiley happy very average looking woman, or a bipolar knock out
> (as in the woman of your pervy dreams)?
> *Definitely the average woman. At least there's a connection there.*
> 3. would you reject true love because the girl didn't make enough money?
> or wasn't up to par(in shape) as you would like?
> *No.*
> 4. what would you expect(hope) a women to think about you,
> if you sent her an internet flower opposed to a real flower?
> *Hopefully that I was being sincere. Honestly an "internet flower" seems pretty tacky to me.*
> 
> * The infamous what would you do ... if you woke up as a woman?*
> What would your FIRST DAY as a woman entail?
> *I would probably spend a lot of time observing any differences in behavior of others or my own behavior while in different social situations. Can you tell I like psychology?*





meltedsorbet said:


> Would you feel violated if you thought a woman had sexual fantasies about you, but wasn't rude or pushy or anything? Would you feel offended?


*I might feel more than a little awkward, but I'd take it as a complement. I think.*



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Do men authentically enjoy women as just friends, point blank?
> Or is there always some sort of "keeping options open/ya never know"(ulterior motive) element there?


*Speaking for myself, yes. I have had and still have some lady friends who I wouldn't want to be anything more.*


----------



## Mr. Meepers

meltedsorbet said:


> Would you feel violated if you thought a woman had sexual fantasies about you, but wasn't rude or pushy or anything? Would you feel offended?
> 
> Edit: And we're talking about a woman who you don't really know intimately, and who isn't being pushy--and is neutrally attractive to you.
> 
> I know you're only one man, but thanks for opening yourself up to answering questions like this.


Nope ... I would feel flattered ... and besides it isn't really me ... The person in her head may correspond to me physically, but I'm sure the personality that mental me has is probably not mine, it might not even be similar to mine. ... But at the end of the day, I would just feel flattered ^__^




Souled In said:


> What is the most fun thing I could possibly be doing right now?


Tough call ... idk If I would say masturbate or writing posts on PerC :crazy::crazy::crazy: .... Oh ... Or eating food too :tongue:




Ningsta Kitty said:


> Mr. Meepers stealing the Pirates booty! :tongue: your answers had me giggling as usual!
> Though wiarumas embracing his third nipple was super funny too! :laughing: This thread is fun!
> 
> Thank you @_wiarumas_ & @_Mr. Meepers_ for the feedback/suggestions regarding writing!
> 
> All great ideas!
> 
> Last one for the night ...
> 
> Do men authentically enjoy women as just friends, point blank?
> Or is there always some sort of "keeping options open/ya never know"(ulterior motive) element there?


Yay!! \(^_^)/ Thank You ^__^

As for your question ... I will answer for myself only as there is no need for a debate :tongue:

My answer is yes (men can enjoy a woman's friendship).
That being said, I do think attraction can form in a friendship ... but that doesn't necessarily mean there will be an ulterior motive (unless she gives me food ... I will be friends with anyone for food :tongue. Nor does that mean there will be any tension ... there are plenty of fish in the sea, and I think most people realize there is more than one person out there that they are compatible with. It is not like I won't be attracted to someone else. ... Oh, I should probably mention that just because I am friends with someone and we are close does not mean that I will feel any noticeable attracted to her.





Holgrave said:


> Okay. I don't know if any of you are runners, but this one has been bugging me for a while. Why do joggers run in the road even if there is a perfectly good sidewalk? It seems nuts to me seeing as most joggers run when it's dark out and no one (that I've seen) wears reflective clothing. I know it's said that asphalt is better for your knees, but I would think that life would outweigh the possibility of having bad knees...
> 
> And I just realized that's more of a rant, so I'll leave that as it is so someone can answer that for me.


There were not a lot of sidewalks where I grew up, but in high school I had a friend that would run 70 miles a week ... and because of the impact running has on the legs he would cross train to help prevent injury, such as stress fractures. ... another thing I noticed are that not all side walks are very even ... they tend to crack lift up a bit (I assume those side walks don't have rebar I guess ... the metal bars used to absorb the tension in concrete sidewalks) and those uneven surfaces are probably tripping obstacles.




WamphyriThrall said:


> What advice would you give someone considering a STEM (or any that involves heavy math requirements) major in the near future? I don't have the most impressive track record when it comes to academics, but do enjoy the challenges that came with advanced mathematics. At this point I'm simply learning what I can here and there using books+sites, and not even sure if I'll go back for a second degree in a related field.
> 
> The stakes are higher, I just don't to commit to something for no other reason than to prove a point to myself and with no long-term goals. It's a bit late to change majors, since I've only about one year to go, so switching seems a waste of time and money.


Hmmm, I don't really know your mathematics background, so I will assume it is very little. 
I would say learn differential and integral calculus ... Advanced Calc and Analysis are more abstract fields that rely on a knowledge of Topology, so you may not be ready for them yet. ... Also, look at mathematics as a language ... the concepts are easy to understand if you understand the terminology very well

I'll try to answer this the best I can. ... I am answering for undergraduate versions of applied mathematical subjects
*Engineering:* Uses a lot of applied Differential and Integral Calculus, applied Differential Equations, and Statistics
*Comp Sci:* May use Abstract Algebra (you may want get books on "Discrete Mathematics" first), Number theory, Advanced Logic (Turing machines), and Statistics
*Physics:* More extensive use of Engineering mathematics ... Quantum Mechanics may use some abstract algebra, and relativity may use some topology ... You may learn some basic Advanced Calculus 

Now ... as far as adding a major at your school, I highly recommend you talk to your adviser and/or someone in the department you want to switch too (sometimes there are rules about double majoring, such as 24 credits in each major can not count in the other major or something like that) ... find out what courses you can use (electives, substitutions, ...) to minimize taking more courses than you have too ... and see what courses are left, when they are offered, and if they have any prerequisites ... then make a schedule that will show when you would be able to finish the degree. That should help your with you decision.


----------



## wiarumas

WamphyriThrall said:


> What advice would you give someone considering a STEM (or any that involves heavy math requirements) major in the near future? I don't have the most impressive track record when it comes to academics, but do enjoy the challenges that came with advanced mathematics. At this point I'm simply learning what I can here and there using books+sites, and not even sure if I'll go back for a second degree in a related field.
> 
> The stakes are higher, I just don't to commit to something for no other reason than to prove a point to myself and with no long-term goals. It's a bit late to change majors, since I've only about one year to go, so switching seems a waste of time and money.


STEM majors are pretty bulletproof even if you don't have the best grades. Your chances of employment are much better than many other majors. My only questions are, bad grades are one thing but can you pass/graduate? If its something you do, make sure you finish. Secondly, what type of job do you want to do? A lot of these majors open up a lot of options even if you don't go back to school. You can always mix and match and strengthen it with minors or other majors - accounting, finance, computer science, statistics, physics, etc to enter a lot of different fields. 

If I was you, I would quickly (since you only have 1 year left) look into employment options. That is, companies that hire at your school, major, etc and find out what they do, what you find interesting, and what they are looking for. Then I would try to align myself to fit their needs and get that first, entry level position. Worst case scenario, you are getting a paycheck and are just unhappy. Worse things are happening (like being unhappy and no paycheck haha). 

You would not believe the amount of people in high positions having oddball majors (like history, psychology, environmental something or other... At an IT/management consulting company?) and experience (construction, dispatcher, etc). Don't stress about it. Just become employed and get where you want to go through experience. There are plenty of years to work, just make sure you start out on a good first step.


----------



## dagnytaggart

wiarumas said:


> Haha okay, apologies then. My sarcasm detector must have been weakened by the beer. I know it's a random Tuesday, don't judge haha.
> 
> I believe the underwear was a trick question. You aren't wearing any! But my mind reading may have had a rogue signal from now from the original post. If at any point you removed them from now to the time of the original post, that's what I'm picking up.


Ah no worries. My Fe injector was off, too. Forgot to put the tell-tale smilies. 

As for the comment, I did see a comment somewhere about gathering a bit of insight about the askers based on what they asked. So was just ribbing you about it. It was more an attempt at Ne than anything. 

As for my panties, they're iridescent.

Anyway here's an actual question --

Do you catch yourself judging people by their looks, if they're genetically unattractive or if they're obese?


----------



## WamphyriThrall

Mr. Meepers said:


> Hmmm, I don't really know your mathematics background, so I will assume it is very little.
> I would say learn differential and integral calculus ... Advanced Calc and Analysis are more abstract fields that rely on a knowledge of Topology, so you may not be ready for them yet. ... Also, look at mathematics as a language ... the concepts are easy to understand if you understand the terminology very well
> 
> I'll try to answer this the best I can. ... I am answering for undergraduate versions of applied mathematical subjects
> *Engineering:* Uses a lot of applied Differential and Integral Calculus, applied Differential Equations, and Statistics
> *Comp Sci:* May use Abstract Algebra (you may want get books on "Discrete Mathematics" first), Number theory, Advanced Logic (Turing machines), and Statistics
> *Physics:* More extensive use of Engineering mathematics ... Quantum Mechanics may use some abstract algebra, and relativity may use some topology ... You may learn some basic Advanced Calculus
> 
> Now ... as far as adding a major at your school, I highly recommend you talk to your adviser and/or someone in the department you want to switch too (sometimes there are rules about double majoring, such as 24 credits in each major can not count in the other major or something like that) ... find out what courses you can use (electives, substitutions, ...) to minimize taking more courses than you have too ... and see what courses are left, when they are offered, and if they have any prerequisites ... then make a schedule that will show when you would be able to finish the degree. That should help your with you decision.


Correct, my formal experience only goes as far as basic Trigonometry, with the occasional scratching of the surface of Pre-Cal, Calc I, Linear Algebra... My previous two majors, Comp Engineering and Comp Linguistics both required a fair bit of advanced math, the former up to Diff Equations, and latter up to Calc I. I passed my math requirements with only slightly better than average scores, but in my defense my motivation, background, and teaching standards weren't phenomenal. 

If one field had to be named at the moment, I'd say tech writing is something I've been interested in for a while. Preferably with a focus on programming, another area I'm sorely lacking in when it comes to knowledge. Since my major covers most of what would have been requirements for Comp Ling, I could always go back and finish that up, but that seems redundant, and double majoring seems like a better idea at this point. That or going for a second degree in CS. 



wiarumas said:


> STEM majors are pretty bulletproof even if you don't have the best grades. Your chances of employment are much better than many other majors. My only questions are, bad grades are one thing but can you pass/graduate? If its something you do, make sure you finish. Secondly, what type of job do you want to do? A lot of these majors open up a lot of options even if you don't go back to school. You can always mix and match and strengthen it with minors or other majors - accounting, finance, computer science, statistics, physics, etc to enter a lot of different fields.
> 
> If I was you, I would quickly (since you only have 1 year left) look into employment options. That is, companies that hire at your school, major, etc and find out what they do, what you find interesting, and what they are looking for. Then I would try to align myself to fit their needs and get that first, entry level position. Worst case scenario, you are getting a paycheck and are just unhappy. Worse things are happening (like being unhappy and no paycheck haha).
> 
> You would not believe the amount of people in high positions having oddball majors (like history, psychology, environmental something or other... At an IT/management consulting company?) and experience (construction, dispatcher, etc). Don't stress about it. Just become employed and get where you want to go through experience. There are plenty of years to work, just make sure you start out on a good first step.


Technical writing is one option, and the only one that requires anything close to a STEM major. There are others I might have overlooked, but at the moment I'm more interested in teaching ESL, translating, editing, and research, and my BA should be more than enough for those, work experience aside. Still, I like to have my options open, in case I do decide to go into something else later. At the moment, Comp Sci and the various caterogies of Biology catch my interest, but not enough to switch majors.


----------



## android654

meltedsorbet said:


> Would you feel violated if you thought a woman had sexual fantasies about you, but wasn't rude or pushy or anything? Would you feel offended?


I don't think most men would feel badly about being sexually objectified. I wouldn't if I knew more people were having filthy thoughts about me during the day.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

dagnytaggart said:


> Do you catch yourself judging people by their looks, if they're genetically unattractive or if they're obese?


Well, deeming someone as physically "pretty" or not is a type I judgement I would say, but it is not necessary judging their value as "good" or "bad". ... That is just taste and personal preference.

Now do I catch myself making character judgments about them are viewing them as a less human or something?

Well, I have not caught myself ... but that does not mean I don't do it to some extent ... it just means that I don't notice if I do, or that I forgot if I have.

That being said, I have noticed other people making character assumptions based on looks ... such as assuming someone that is severely overweight is lazy ... or the "Look at how fat he is ... If he can't take care of himself how can we expect him to lead us/do his job/ ...".

As far as people who are drastically different than the norm (burn victims, two women with what looks like two heads on one body, ...) that we may see their lives shown on tv, I will admit there is some initial shock ... take that as you will ... but as the program unfolds, it is easy to see many of these people as being beautiful people ... So, again, take that as you will.

I probably do "judge" people based on looks, but hopefully it is minimal ... and I do my best to be open minded and try to learn about the person before I make any real conscious judgments.


----------



## wiarumas

dagnytaggart said:


> Ah no worries. My Fe injector was off, too. Forgot to put the tell-tale smilies.
> 
> As for the comment, I did see a comment somewhere about gathering a bit of insight about the askers based on what they asked. So was just ribbing you about it. It was more an attempt at Ne than anything.
> 
> As for my panties, they're iridescent.
> 
> Anyway here's an actual question --
> 
> Do you catch yourself judging people by their looks, if they're genetically unattractive or if they're obese?


Yes, I do. I don't always trust first impressions though. Sometimes unattractiveness yields other redeeming qualities to compensate.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Do you tip servers at restaurants well? Just enough? Above average? A set amount no matter the amount of the bill?


----------



## Ace Face

What do you consider post-sex ettiquette? Do you think it's rude if your lady doesn't let your immediately roll over and fall asleep? Does how she feels about it matter to you?


----------



## android654

Enfpleasantly said:


> Do you tip servers at restaurants well? Just enough? Above average? A set amount no matter the amount of the bill?


Have you ever worked as a waiter? I have when I was younger and it's a really shitty job and few people treat them with respect, so their days drag on longer and they wind up loathing what's another wise "ok" job. With that in mind I always try to tip well no matter the bill. Even if I go to a small hole in the wall restaurant where the girl behind the register is also serving tables, I tip.


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> Do you tip servers at restaurants well? Just enough? Above average? A set amount no matter the amount of the bill?


Typically 20-25%. 15-20% if its bad service.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

android654 said:


> Have you ever worked as a waiter? I have when I was younger and it's a really shitty job and few people treat them with respect, so their days drag on longer and they wind up loathing what's another wise "ok" job. With that in mind I always try to tip well no matter the bill. Even if I go to a small hole in the wall restaurant where the girl behind the register is also serving tables, I tip.


No I haven't, but I'm a nurse and can relate on a certain level...some patients and family members are really, really demanding. 



wiarumas said:


> Typically 20-25%. 15-20% if its bad service.


Same.


----------



## downsowf

Ace Face said:


> What do you consider post-sex ettiquette? Do you think it's rude if your lady doesn't let your immediately roll over and fall asleep? Does how she feels about it matter to you?


I'm probably the reverse of what you said. Good luck getting me to try to fall asleep right away. I'll be the one told to stop talking. I'm also somewhat of an insomniac so maybe that has something to do with it too. So in answer to your question I suppose it would be a non-issue.


----------



## android654

Enfpleasantly said:


> No I haven't, but I'm a nurse and can relate on a certain level...some patients and family members are really, really demanding.


Then you know what it's like to deal with rude and demanding people all day, everyday. I prefer to at least treat people with respect even if they're only bringing something to my table.


----------



## wiarumas

Ace Face said:


> What do you consider post-sex ettiquette? Do you think it's rude if your lady doesn't let your immediately roll over and fall asleep? Does how she feels about it matter to you?


After sex we usually talk, watch TV/movies, or shower. Sometimes I like to "debrief" after sex and talk about performance, number/intensity/type orgasm, etc. I never just fall asleep after sex.

Edit - I'd like to add that it's not only because its rude, but because its physically impossible for me. The bed is typically uncomfortable and I'm typically to hot/worked up.


----------



## android654

wiarumas said:


> Sometimes I like to "debrief" after sex and talk about performance, number/intensity/type orgasm, etc.


You can't tell?


----------



## Ace Face

android654 said:


> You can't tell?


You can? I bet you think noone's ever faked an orgasm with you either, lol.


----------



## android654

Ace Face said:


> You can? I bet you think noone's ever faked an orgasm with you either, lol.


If you can't tell the difference between the two then you're not paying attention.


----------



## Snakecharmer

I think we need a sister thread - "I'm a woman, ask me anything". @Ningsta Kitty


----------



## wiarumas

android654 said:


> You can't tell?


Not always. Sometimes they get close, but don't have one, sometimes they do and it's weak, sometimes it's too sensitive or whatever to have a second one, sometimes things just feel really good but dont ever finish, inside ones vs outside ones, etc.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Ace Face said:


> You can? I bet you think noone's ever faked an orgasm with you either, lol.


Not to derail or anything, but I have honest to goodness never faked an orgasm before. I know this is common practice for many women though.


----------



## Ace Face

android654 said:


> If you can't tell the difference between the two then you're not paying attention.


So you're telling me that you believe women have faked orgasms with you?


----------



## android654

Ace Face said:


> So you're telling me that you believe women have faked orgasms with you?


When I was young and didn't know how to pay attention to detail they did.


----------



## Ace Face

Enfpleasantly said:


> Not to derail or anything, but I have honest to goodness never faked an orgasm before. I know this is common practice for many women though.


I haven't either, but then again, I've never had sex. I can't imagine faking though, and I'm so... easily aroused, for lack of better wording, that I don't think I'd ever feel the need to in that sense or any other sense for that matter. Communication is the key though. I think most women just don't want their men to feel bad. I say that's bull shit. If there's something specific you want done or want to try, it's as simple as speaking up. Same goes for the man. Mutual satistfaction should be the goal, and that does require communication.


----------



## Ace Face

android654 said:


> When I was young and didn't know how to pay attention to detail they did.


So they faked it before, but none of them fake it now? 

Okay


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Ace Face said:


> I haven't either, but then again, I've never had sex. I can't imagine faking though, and I'm so... easily aroused, for lack of better wording, that I don't think I'd ever feel the need to in that sense or any other sense for that matter. Communication is the key though. I think most women just don't want their men to feel bad. I say that's bull shit. If there's something specific you want done or want to try, it's as simple as speaking up. Same goes for the man. Mutual satistfaction should be the goal, and that does require communication.


Preeeeecisely. If women start off faking things, then nothing will ever change. From there she won't want to even do it anymore, and then he will be miserable, she will be miserable....you know where I'm going  

Ladies, quit yer faking, for your own good!


----------



## wiarumas

From my experience, you know if a girl will fake one long before they do. They typically start moaning their head off before you even start. Maybe it's just me but I find it to be a huge turn off. How are you going to know how awesome you are if they fudging the results? Happened to me once - told her to stop right away.


----------



## android654

Ace Face said:


> I haven't either, but then again, I've never had sex.





Ace Face said:


> So they faked it before, but none of them fake it now?
> 
> Okay


So you're a virgin but you're claiming to have insight to how people behave when their engaged in sex?

Okay


----------



## Ace Face

android654 said:


> So you're a virgin but you're claiming to have insight to how people behave when their engaged in sex?
> 
> Okay


Lol, all one has to do is read and do some investigating. There are tons of studies and statistics. You can go find for yourself how often women orgasm as well as how often they fake it. I think it will tickle your fancy  All in all, I think you're probably just a little too prideful to admit that the chances orgasms are being faked are greater than you think


----------



## android654

Ace Face said:


> Lol, all one has to do is read and do some investigating. There are tons of studies and statistics. You can go find for yourself how often women orgasm as well as how often they fake it. I think it will tickle your fancy  All in all, I think you're probably just a little too prideful to admit that the chances orgasms are being faked are greater than you think


Reading surveys is no substitute for experiencing the real thing.


----------



## petite libellule

MORE QUESTIONS!  

1. Have YOU ever faked an orgasm? (I suppose it's feasible, right?)

2. (with regards to females faking orgasms) Is a fake orgasm better than No orgasm?

3. When a woman is over reacting, acting all irrational, do you stonewall or act like a dick? 
OR, do you attempt to suggest taking a break and resuming said such spat(disagreement) to another time ...

4. If you were sitting at a red light and someone slammed into your car (!) and you get out of the car all (wtf!) and you see this 80 pound little high school girl get out of the car (holding her phone still). You assume she was texting ... how do you handle this situation(car accident) ? What do you say ???

5. If an old lady were getting mugged for her purse right in front of you by someone roughly the same size as you (but maybe younger, more energetic) ... what would you do?

6. Have you ever checked out your "guns" in the mirror or Have you ever looked in the mirror and practiced sexy looks, etc ? *giggling* :tongue:


----------



## Ace Face

android654 said:


> Reading surveys is no substitute for experiencing the real thing.


All right, how about this? I'll enjoy my future healthy sex life, and you can just keep on doing whatever it is you're doing and be happy about it 

FWIW, I don't think this problem is at all the man's fault. Women need to speak up about what they want. Like @Enfpleasantly said, that type of silence doesn't do a whole lot of good for the relationship as a whole. Communication really is a must.


----------



## wiarumas

In quote. 



Ningsta Kitty said:


> MORE QUESTIONS!
> 
> 1. Have YOU ever faked an orgasm? (I suppose it's feasible, right?)
> 
> *Nope. Although I have had sex (and stopped) without orgasming before. You know... Have somewhere to be, don't want to get caught, etc. *
> 
> 2. (with regards to females faking orgasms) Is a fake orgasm better than No orgasm?
> 
> *No. It only gives a man a false sense of accomplishment. No value in that. *
> 
> 3. When a woman is over reacting, acting all irrational, do you stonewall or act like a dick?
> OR, do you attempt to suggest taking a break and resuming said such spat(disagreement) to another time ...
> 
> *i have done all of the above. It really depends on the situation. Hell, this morning alone I did 2/3 haha. *
> 
> 4. If you were sitting at a red light and someone slammed into your car (!) and you get out of the car all (wtf!) and you see this 80 pound little high school girl get out of the car (holding her phone still). You assume she was texting ... how do you handle this situation(car accident) ? What do you say ???
> 
> *What i assume wouldnt matter. I report the accident, collect insurance info, etc. she rear ended me - that's her responsibility no matter if a phone was involved or not. *
> 
> 5. If an old lady were getting mugged for her purse right in front of you by someone roughly the same size as you (but maybe younger, more energetic) ... what would you do?
> 
> *Id stop him and get the purse back.*
> 
> 6. Have you ever checked out your "guns" in the mirror or Have you ever looked in the mirror and practiced sexy looks, etc ? *giggling* :tongue:
> *Only a couple times a week. Not even kidding. Check myself out that is... Not practice sexy looks. Mostly before I get in the shower. I believe this is a common guy thing lol. *


----------



## wiarumas

@android654 @Ace Face

I think both of you are right. I have no doubt some women fake it, but if you know what's going on its blatantly obvious. There are some aspects of a female orgasm that you simply cannot fake. I think the women who fake it and get away with it are with men who simply do not know any better by never seeing a real one before. 

Also, I just remembered an additional experience regarding fake orgasms. I'm not sure if it was fake but it was questionable. Apparently there is this very small population of women (something like 1%) that can orgasm through playing with their nipples. Skeptical? I was too when she told me about it. Fast forward a couple months though - either she liked faking it or it was real because she always requested it.


----------



## pageofadiary

In your opinion what is the definition of an "easy woman"? Or do you think there is such a thing?


----------



## wiarumas

pageofadiary said:


> In your opinion what is the definition of an "easy woman"? Or do you think there is such a thing?


There may not be such a thing as an easy girl, but a girl can be easy if that makes sense. The term is derogatory and isn't considered a desirable trait because if a girl is easy for the guy, she may be easy for others both past, present and future. "I don't normally do this". True, but you have and it suggests its a possibility. A woman who is more challenging may represent a stronger possibility to be monogamous.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Ningsta Kitty said:


> MORE QUESTIONS!
> 
> ... Meep ...






3. When a woman is over reacting, acting all irrational, do you stonewall or act like a dick? 
OR, do you attempt to suggest taking a break and resuming said such spat(disagreement) to another time ...

Emotional Outburst? I try to calm her down ... or if she is mad at me (and I feel it is unjustified) just let her let it out and talk with her about it later 

One woman I thought was being condescending and then I acted like a genitalia (dick ) by getting sarcastic



4. If you were sitting at a red light and someone slammed into your car (!) and you get out of the car all (wtf!) and you see this 80 pound little high school girl get out of the car (holding her phone still). You assume she was texting ... how do you handle this situation(car accident) ? What do you say ???

I might question it ... but she was just in an accident and she could be shaken up calling her parents


5. If an old lady were getting mugged for her purse right in front of you by someone roughly the same size as you (but maybe younger, more energetic) ... what would you do?

idk, never happened before ... I suppose if he was fighting the old lady for her purse still ... I would try to gasp the purse tightly and knock him down and hope he runs away due to all the witnesses .... 

If I have to chase after him idk, I would be more likely to chase after him in more crowded area, but I might not follow him in any back allies ... I mean I don't know what weapons he has and her purse is not worth my life ... replace purse with child and my answer would change to that kidnapper would be sorry he ever tried and I would try to not let him escape so that cops could come and he would not have the chance to try again for some time.


6. Have you ever checked out your "guns" in the mirror or Have you ever looked in the mirror and practiced sexy looks, etc ? *giggling* 

Years ago I did it more lol ... I don't try to look sexy as much now  ... but I will check out my "guns" every now and then (and be like, I don't remember them being than big ... awesome )


----------



## pageofadiary

wiarumas said:


> There may not be such a thing as an easy girl, but a girl can be easy if that makes sense. The term is derogatory and isn't considered a desirable trait because if a girl is easy for the guy, she may be easy for others both past, present and future. "I don't normally do this". True, but you have and it suggests its a possibility. A woman who is more challenging may represent a stronger possibility to be monogamous.


Ok. And after how many dates would you label a woman "easy" or a "challenge"?


----------



## android654

pageofadiary said:


> Ok. And after how many dates would you label a woman "easy" or a "challenge"?


Both labels are arbitrary and ultimately meaningless. Easy or a challenge is just a way for you to feel like someone is shaking their finger at you or patting your head for having or not having sex.


----------



## petite libellule

bro code question ...

if you saw a friend of yours (bro) and his GF, and you knew the GF enough to know she was an amazing person. and bro in question was behaving like a douche to her ... 
would you say anything? why or why not ...


----------



## petite libellule

pageofadiary said:


> Ok. And after how many dates would you label a woman "easy" or a "challenge"?


yes! I had a recent argument(disagreement) about this. 
the guy said 3 dates was the average ... I said :shocked:


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> bro code question ...
> 
> if you saw a friend of yours (bro) and his GF, and you knew the GF enough to know she was an amazing person. and bro in question was behaving like a douche to her ...
> would you say anything? why or why not ...


Eugh... That word.

If a friend of mine is being a dick I'd call him out on it. I expect the same.


----------



## pageofadiary

android654 said:


> Both labels are arbitrary and ultimately meaningless. Easy or a challenge is just a way for you to feel like someone is shaking their finger at you or patting your head for having or not having sex.


I agree with you but wanted to see what his response would be after his answer to my first question.


----------



## pageofadiary

Ningsta Kitty said:


> yes! I had a recent argument(disagreement) about this.
> the guy said 3 dates was the average ... I said :shocked:


After 3 dates, she's considered a "challenge"?


----------



## Mr. Meepers

INTJellectual said:


> Oh c'mon


 Lol I just think it depends.

I think for most men, love is the end goal, not sex ... but I think more immature men may look at what they think their society says they should be instead of looking inside themselves for what they want ... and in American culture that may mean sex is the end game (or if they are "new" to their sexual urges). ... I am not saying that if someone wants just sex they are immature and/or young ... many of those people are very mature ... I am just saying that the immature are more easily swayed by what their society tells them they should be and the young may feel more overwhelmed by their new found urges and may not know the difference between love and lust.


----------



## Death Persuades

Mr. Meepers said:


> Lol I just think it depends.
> 
> I think for most men, love is the end goal, not sex ... but I think more immature men may look at what they think their society says they should be instead of looking inside themselves for what they want ... and in American culture that may mean sex is the end game (or if they are "new" to their sexual urges). ... I am not saying that if someone wants just sex they are immature and/or young ... many of those people are very mature ... I am just saying that the immature are more easily swayed by what their society tells them they should be and the young may feel more overwhelmed by their new found urges and may not know the difference between love and lust.


I agree.


----------



## vt1099ace

wiarumas said:


> I'm an ENTJ type 3 male.
> 
> Ive done it all from being in a band, fraternity, marriage, parenting, and everything in between. I have genius level IQ, paint, cook, write poetry, short stories, novels, shoot guns, work on cars, etc.
> 
> Want to ask a guy anything - sex, relationships, personal questions, guy mentality, bro code - go ahead.


If the higgs particle accounts for mass, what gives the higgs mass?


----------



## petite libellule

wiarumas said:


> Do women know what they want?


 Depends on the woman.

Do men know what they want? At which point is it typical for a man to contemplate what he wants? 

I was thinking ... 
Please answer honestly even if you know I might not like the answers (that goes for any question I ask)

questions (curiosities) about jealousy ...

1. do men get jealous about women making more money?

2. do men get bothered or jealous over women being capable of taking care of themselves? 

3. is it unreasonable to expect a man to communicate when he's feeling jealous or insecure?

4. If you had a friend who you thought was amazing and then found yourself in a relationship with that person. and she had other guy friends that she spoke to (but not on a emotionally deep level), would it bother you? why or why not. how would that make you feel regardless of the previous answer ?

5. if your guy friend met a girl and she was incredibly attractive, and you were in a super happy and fulfilling relationship with a girl not as attractive. would you be a little jeolous of him? why? would it effect how you saw your SO? (flip the script) how would you handle it if you were dating a girl your guy friends (men generally) thought was an amazing girl who was also very attractive. Would it bother you? would you always feel a little on edge about her getting to know your friends, or interacting with the opposite sex at work or want not. 

6. so you are in a relationship with a girl who is a super happy person. you know that you make her happy. she is happy being with you. but does it somewhere kinda sorta bother you that she is happy with or without you? why?

7. if you were dating a girl who is sociable, not a social butterfly but has a lot of friends and people who like to talk to her, make plans to spend time, etc. - does it bother you that she is not always available to spend time with you when you want?

8. are you jealous if your SO is being emotionally supportive to other guy friends? or if she is having fun and laughing with friends regardless of sex (and your not there) - does that bother you?

9. if you feel bothered or jealous or whatever, do you keep it to yourself? are you in crazy analyze mode? do you get angry or irritable? 

10. do you get off on making a strong person weak? how so, if so.


----------



## wiarumas

vt1099ace said:


> If the higgs particle accounts for mass, what gives the higgs mass?


Perhaps it itself is mass.


----------



## vt1099ace

wiarumas said:


> Perhaps it itself is mass.


strings perhaps? through relativistic quantum field theory....mass itself could be just a side effect of the higgs interaction in/with other particles?


----------



## wiarumas

In quote:



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Depends on the woman.
> 
> Do men know what they want? At which point is it typical for a man to contemplate what he wants?
> 
> *We have an idea of what we want. We contemplate what we want when we don't have it. Then we seek ways to get what we want. *
> 
> I was thinking ...
> Please answer honestly even if you know I might not like the answers (that goes for any question I ask)
> 
> *honesty won't be an issue. Keep in mind this is my opinion and not what all men think... Or even majority of them. *
> 
> questions (curiosities) about jealousy ...
> 
> 1. do men get jealous about women making more money?
> 
> *no. Some do that are probably insecure. *
> 
> 2. do men get bothered or jealous over women being capable of taking care of themselves?
> 
> *i see no reason why they would be. No. I'm sure some do that are insecure. *
> 
> 3. is it unreasonable to expect a man to communicate when he's feeling jealous or insecure?
> 
> *i wouldn't expect a man to openly bring something like that up. It would be slightly bizarre for a man to be secure discussing his insecurities openly. It would be more useful to note actions as they speak louder tha words or get him to confess in a drunken stupor. *
> 
> 4. If you had a friend who you thought was amazing and then found yourself in a relationship with that person. and she had other guy friends that she spoke to (but not on a emotionally deep level), would it bother you? why or why not. how would that make you feel regardless of the previous answer ?
> 
> *she would have my trust but I would have issues with those guy friends. I know what they are thinking and don't even want them to consider it. It's a territorial thing. *
> 
> Joe Rogan on ex-boyfriends - YouTube
> 
> 5. if your guy friend met a girl and she was incredibly attractive, and you were in a super happy and fulfilling relationship with a girl not as attractive. would you be a little jeolous of him? why? would it effect how you saw your SO? (flip the script) how would you handle it if you were dating a girl your guy friends (men generally) thought was an amazing girl who was also very attractive. Would it bother you? would you always feel a little on edge about her getting to know your friends, or interacting with the opposite sex at work or want not.
> 
> *if mine wasnt as good, I would get jealous but then I would remember why I am in the relationship I'm in and remind myself that their relationship most likely isn't as peachy as it looks on te surface. I wouldn't get jealous if I had the good one because I know I'm better than the competition haha. If my wife was more attractive than I am, I might be slightly feeling un-derserving, but since we are about the same, I'm comfortable with that. Plus she's extremely picky and has a higher chance of biting the head off te guy than cheating.*
> 
> 6. so you are in a relationship with a girl who is a super happy person. you know that you make her happy. she is happy being with you. but does it somewhere kinda sorta bother you that she is happy with or without you? why?
> 
> *dear god no. We both need some space/independence. I'd be concerned if she wasn't happy if I'm not around. I would question her mental health and if she is dependent on others for her own happiness. *
> 
> 7. if you were dating a girl who is sociable, not a social butterfly but has a lot of friends and people who like to talk to her, make plans to spend time, etc. - does it bother you that she is not always available to spend time with you when you want?
> 
> *not really. Depends on how bad it is. If I never see her, it would upset me - what's the point of the relationship?. But I encourage my wife to go do things without me - I want her to have a life. *
> 
> 8. are you jealous if your SO is being emotionally supportive to other guy friends? or if she is having fun and laughing with friends regardless of sex (and your not there) - does that bother you?
> 
> *no, but I would question why these guys are coming to her for emotional support. Seems suspicious. Like I said before, I trust her but what are these guys up to? Sometimes if a guy pulls that stuff, it's a ploy to get close to that girl. *
> 
> 9. if you feel bothered or jealous or whatever, do you keep it to yourself? are you in crazy analyze mode? do you get angry or irritable?
> 
> *ill flat out tell her that I don't trust that guy. It's not jealousy, it's territorial defense. She'll proceed to say, no it's not like that yadda yadda yadda, and I'll say I know, just be careful. Guys can be predators and dicks. I know women are capable of handling themselves, but it's just a warning. Unlike being jealous for strangers, this one has reasonable cause to be suspicious. *
> 
> 10. do you get off on making a strong person weak? how so, if so
> 
> *no. If anything, I get off on being strong amongst other people who are strong. *
> 
> .


----------



## wiarumas

vt1099ace said:


> strings perhaps? through relativistic quantum field theory....mass itself could be just a side effect of the higgs interaction in/with other particles?


The latter. I think what is in question is what exactly is mass? I think it's looking to be an outdated concept. Perhaps the higgs (field?) interaction is what gives structure, stability, and ultimately the concept of mass. I think the metaphor I liked is that the Higgs particle is like the water in a wet sponge. It "inflates" substance to a shell.


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> 1. do men get jealous about women making more money?


Nah.



> 2. do men get bothered or jealous over women being capable of taking care of themselves?


Nope.



> 3. is it unreasonable to expect a man to communicate when he's feeling jealous or insecure?


No.



> 4. If you had a friend who you thought was amazing and then found yourself in a relationship with that person. and she had other guy friends that she spoke to (but not on a emotionally deep level), would it bother you? why or why not. how would that make you feel regardless of the previous answer ?


No. I wouldn't think much of it. If by some chance I was wrong not to be jealous and I get cheated on or something, then it reflects more on my poor judgement of her than anything else.



> 5. if your guy friend met a girl and she was incredibly attractive, and you were in a super happy and fulfilling relationship with a girl not as attractive. would you be a little jeolous of him? why? would it effect how you saw your SO?


I honestly don't know. If I'm at a point where I'm still enamored I probably wouldn't even notice nor care. But if things are getting boring or I'm no longer really interested in the person then I might be a little jealous of my friend.



> (flip the script) how would you handle it if you were dating a girl your guy friends (men generally) thought was an amazing girl who was also very attractive. Would it bother you? would you always feel a little on edge about her getting to know your friends, or interacting with the opposite sex at work or want not.


Nah.



> 6. so you are in a relationship with a girl who is a super happy person. you know that you make her happy. she is happy being with you. but does it somewhere kinda sorta bother you that she is happy with or without you? why?


Too happy bugs me on it's own, but that's another discussion altogether. Yeah that bugs me. It screams of codependency which is something I would never get involved in. I need space in order to function and thinking that someone needs me in order to be happy is more than I'm willing to deal with. It's too much and I would ultimately bow out because of it.



> 7. if you were dating a girl who is sociable, not a social butterfly but has a lot of friends and people who like to talk to her, make plans to spend time, etc. - does it bother you that she is not always available to spend time with you when you want?


I'm cool with that.



> 8. are you jealous if your SO is being emotionally supportive to other guy friends? or if she is having fun and laughing with friends regardless of sex (and your not there) - does that bother you?


I don't think so. A good friend should be emotionally supportive, if they're not, they're buddies at best.



> 9. if you feel bothered or jealous or whatever, do you keep it to yourself? are you in crazy analyze mode? do you get angry or irritable?


I keep most things to myself and I do try to make sense about it before I vocalize it, on the off chance I do decide to vocalize it. Angry? No. Irritable? Depends on what it is that's bothering me.



> 10. do you get off on making a strong person weak? how so, if so.


Sexually? Yes. Socially? Not so much.


----------



## vt1099ace

wiarumas said:


> The latter. I think what is in question is what exactly is mass? I think it's looking to be an outdated concept. Perhaps the higgs (field?) interaction is what gives structure, stability, and ultimately the concept of mass. I think the metaphor I liked is that the Higgs particle is like the water in a wet sponge. It "inflates" substance to a shell.


(metaphorically) add cool-aid (higgs) to water, the mass of water doesn't change. separately eggs, flower, water, sugar, milk doesn't make a cake until you add heat but the heat itself doesn't have 'mass' it's energy...mayhaps higgs is more like the heat than the sugar?....


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> Too happy bugs me on it's own, but that's another discussion altogether. Yeah that bugs me. It screams of codependency which is something I would never get involved in. I need space in order to function and thinking that someone needs me in order to be happy is more than I'm willing to deal with. It's too much and I would ultimately bow out because of it.


 Not sure why too happy would be weird but it sounds like that's a rant for me to grab another day? 

in any case, let me explain it like this: I'm happy. A man can most defiantly increase my happy. But I want that person to be happy without me. As I would be happy without them. I don't want to be responsible or be the sole source of anyone else's happiness. Aside from my kid, who is disabled so, it's fair for me to assume the position of responsibility for his happiness more so than a typical child. I suppose I don't understand someone's love if it's the source of their happiness. How does that work? To me the experience of love and happy are kinda sorta separate, interdependent in a way but separate. Okay, sorry , now I'm ranting(rambling) :/ 


But before I leave the house, another question for men just popped in my head:

Again, please don't edit your answer to spare my feelings. 

would you be more comfortable dating someone who had been married for a long time and was divorced? or was married for a long time and their spouse died. I know this question kinda sucks. But I want to know. Which would be a more comfortable/desirable scenario. and why. What would bother you about the former(not preferred) scenario. ?


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Not sure why too happy would be weird but it sounds like that's a rant for me to grab another day?


I'm sure most guys would welcome it, but I'm not most guys.



> in any case, let me explain it like this: I'm happy. A man can most defiantly increase my happy. But I want that person to be happy without me. As I would be happy without them. I don't want to be responsible or be the sole source of anyone else's happiness. Aside from my kid, who is disabled so, it's fair for me to assume the position of responsibility for his happiness more so than a typical child. I suppose I don't understand someone's love if it's the source of their happiness. How does that work? To me the experience of love and happy are kinda sorta separate, interdependent in a way but separate. Okay, sorry , now I'm ranting(rambling) :/


In a relationships they're usually inseparable. In most cases the person you "love" makes you happy as well. What you wrote the first time around seemed to suggest codependency which is something I wouldn't touch.



> But before I leave the house, another question for men just popped in my head:
> 
> Again, please don't edit your answer to spare my feelings.
> 
> would you be more comfortable dating someone who had been married for a long time and was divorced? or was married for a long time and their spouse died. I know this question kinda sucks. But I want to know. Which would be a more comfortable/desirable scenario. and why. What would bother you about the former(not preferred) scenario. ?


Easily a divorcee. With a widow it would feel to me like you're always the third wheel coming between this person and their deceased spouse. I would constantly think that I'm expected to take over the role this person left behind. A divorcee on the other hand makes a decision to abandon an old life and start a new one or was pushed away from their old spouse and their now learning or relearning how to be independent.


----------



## wiarumas

vt1099ace said:


> (metaphorically) add cool-aid (higgs) to water, the mass of water doesn't change. separately eggs, flower, water, sugar, milk doesn't make a cake until you add heat but the heat itself doesn't have 'mass' it's energy...mayhaps higgs is more like the heat than the sugar?....


That's a pretty interesting point. Or is the Higgs the potential energy stored in the batter prior to baking? The energy/heat applied activates the potential. Bringing this back to what was previously, mass is dependent on the things the Higgs is interacting with, which is what I think you first said.


----------



## Snakecharmer

wiarumas said:


> Lmao so true. It's our ego, our mortality, etc. To see and depend on a doctor is to admit weakness which is directly tied to our pride/confidence. Same reason we don't ask directions. It's taking a submissive role and in our mind, being unattractive.


I think you are exactly right. My father got very sick about 14 years ago. He lost a lot of weight (and was not overweight to begin with), slept all the time, had no appetite...and had jaundice! He would NOT go to the doctor. I think part of it was denial, but mostly it was the mortality thing, and some fear. Turns out he has autoimmune hepatitis (not contagious, his immune system attacks his liver). He almost died. It took an INTERVENTION at work to convince him to see his doctor. He hadn't been to one in 25 years prior to becoming seriously ill.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Depends on the woman.
> 
> Do men know what they want? At which point is it typical for a man to contemplate what he wants?
> 
> I was thinking ...
> Please answer honestly even if you know I might not like the answers (that goes for any question I ask)
> 
> questions (curiosities) about jealousy ...


Lol .. whenever someone asks me what I want (when they want to give me a present) I almost always respond with "I don't know" XD

I've said it before, and I'll say it again ... "I am a simple man" .... I want what my heart wants ... love (not just romantic) and self-respect ^__^ (I got those) - and romantic love eventually (more love, companionship, intimacy) ... otherwise I have more temporary desires; such as food, sex, things, ... well food and sex/masturbation are frequent, reoccuring desires ... also other things that allow me to live I desire lol (I do want what I need, I don't know if others feel the same way lol)

*1. do men get jealous about women making more money?*

Nope, I don't at least.

*2. do men get bothered or jealous over women being capable of taking care of themselves?*

No, I want her to be able to ... I want her to want to be with me, not be with me because she feels and/or thinks she needs to be

*3. is it unreasonable to expect a man to communicate when he's feeling jealous or insecure?*

Sometimes (for the jealously part), but if he feels at least some shame for his own feeling or for what is causing the insecurity, it might be hard for him to share. ... He might be thinking about it enough on his own ... Then again, he presumable trusts his SO with his feelings, so he might try too.

*4. If you had a friend who you thought was amazing and then found yourself in a relationship with that person. and she had other guy friends that she spoke to (but not on a emotionally deep level), would it bother you? why or why not. how would that make you feel regardless of the previous answer ?
*
No, why would it. She can have her own friends ... and she chose to be with me, not them lol ... And, presumably, I trust her and I trust that if she thinks there is a good chance of something happening between her and one of her guy friends that she would be cautious about it too and would put emotional distance if she felt it was necessary. I would hope her friends would respect her (I think most friends respect their friends enough), but if the did try to make a move, I trust her to say "no".

*5. if your guy friend met a girl and she was incredibly attractive, and you were in a super happy and fulfilling relationship with a girl not as attractive. would you be a little jeolous of him? why? would it effect how you saw your SO? (flip the script) how would you handle it if you were dating a girl your guy friends (men generally) thought was an amazing girl who was also very attractive. Would it bother you? would you always feel a little on edge about her getting to know your friends, or interacting with the opposite sex at work or want not. *

If I am happy and fulfilled in a relationship, then how could a woman I don't know even compare to a woman that I have a deep, emotional bond with in terms of attraction? Also, if I am in a happy, fulfilling relationship, I doubt I would see women the same way that I do when I am single.

As far as just physical attraction, a woman may have a "better body" than the woman I am with, but not overall attraction ... she could not evoke the same emotion and the same beauty in my eyes.

If they said anything to me I would laugh and say something like, "Yeah, I'm a stud" ... If they ask her out (or "make a move" or flirt with serious intentions i.e. not kidding around) knowing that I am dating her or sexually harass her, then I would be angry with them. 

*6. so you are in a relationship with a girl who is a super happy person. you know that you make her happy. she is happy being with you. but does it somewhere kinda sorta bother you that she is happy with or without you? why?*

Well I can't make anyone happy  (That is their choice), I can only make them happier roud::tongue:

I am assuming I love her, I would want her to be happy as much as possible ... and it is not like we will be spending time with each other all the time lol ... She does not need me to be happy nor do I want her to need me to be happy ... I want to make her happier and add to her life .... If I did not want her to be happy when she is not spending time with me, then I probably would not love her on any level (so why be in a relationship with someone I don't care about)

*7. if you were dating a girl who is sociable, not a social butterfly but has a lot of friends and people who like to talk to her, make plans to spend time, etc. - does it bother you that she is not always available to spend time with you when you want?*

I am an introvert, so maybe a little. yes ... but if I am busy, then not as much ... well, if rarely spent time with me, I would feel bothers (at least let me spend some time with you, even if your friends are around) ... but sociable is fine I just ... but as I said with the question about the annoying family members, I want to have some private time.

*8. are you jealous if your SO is being emotionally supportive to other guy friends? or if she is having fun and laughing with friends regardless of sex (and your not there) - does that bother you?
*
Well, she would be embracing my ideal of being with friends regardless of sex, so not at all ... If I am okay that she does it with female friends then I am okay that she does it with male friends (except for lesbian sex ... no lesbian sex with guy friends :tongue: ... well I would not be okay with sex with people of either sex lol)

*9. if you feel bothered or jealous or whatever, do you keep it to yourself? are you in crazy analyze mode? do you get angry or irritable? 
*
I usually analyze ... and I ask myself if I am overreacting ... sometimes I might ask a friend if I am over reacting ... and eventually I will bring it to her attention ... but usually I like to make sure I am not overreacting (so I am calm most times) ... but I can get emotion and angry with someone on the spot (especially with things that have bothers me for a long time that have never gotten resolved

*10. do you get off on making a strong person weak? how so, if so.*

If you mean making a physically strong person look physically weak ... such as arm wrestling a strong guy who is turning red while I look relaxed, eating a sandwich in the other hand ... then yes lol

If you mean, do I like to tear people don't emotionally, then No ... I do feel strong around weak people though, but only when I can lend them my strength and help them to see that they are much stronger than they realized


----------



## vt1099ace

wiarumas said:


> That's a pretty interesting point. Or is the Higgs the potential energy stored in the batter prior to baking? The energy/heat applied activates the potential. Bringing this back to what was previously, mass is dependent on the things the Higgs is interacting with, which is what I think you first said.



Aaaaaand that's why they built the large hadron collider... :laughing: the worlds largest easy-bake oven (to continue the metaphore..)


----------



## Dragearen

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Depends on the woman.
> 
> Do men know what they want? At which point is it typical for a man to contemplate what he wants?
> *I constantly am reassessing what I want. I don't think I ever really finalize it.*
> 
> I was thinking ...
> Please answer honestly even if you know I might not like the answers (that goes for any question I ask)
> 
> questions (curiosities) about jealousy ...
> 
> 1. do men get jealous about women making more money?
> *Nah. If she makes more money, then that probably means she works harder or she has a higher-paying degree - in which case, kudos to her.*
> 
> 2. do men get bothered or jealous over women being capable of taking care of themselves?
> *No, but I would like a certain degree of cooperation. I don't mind independence, just don't shut me out of the picture.*
> 
> 3. is it unreasonable to expect a man to communicate when he's feeling jealous or insecure?
> *Not at all. If he can't communicate, then that is a fundamental issue with the relationship. All successful relationships are founded on three things methinks; love, trust, and communication.*
> 
> 4. If you had a friend who you thought was amazing and then found yourself in a relationship with that person. and she had other guy friends that she spoke to (but not on a emotionally deep level), would it bother you? why or why not. how would that make you feel regardless of the previous answer ?
> *I don't think it really would, no. Actually, I have been in this situation before, but they were mutual friends and I had no issue with it whatsoever.*
> 
> 5. if your guy friend met a girl and she was incredibly attractive, and you were in a super happy and fulfilling relationship with a girl not as attractive. would you be a little jeolous of him? why? would it effect how you saw your SO? (flip the script) how would you handle it if you were dating a girl your guy friends (men generally) thought was an amazing girl who was also very attractive. Would it bother you? would you always feel a little on edge about her getting to know your friends, or interacting with the opposite sex at work or want not.
> *I might be a little bit jealous, but not enough to actually change my behavior. I'm with someone, I'm not going to leave her just because my friend got a hot girlfriend. As for the second question, again, no issue. I trust my friends and I would hope that I trust my SO as well.*
> 
> 6. so you are in a relationship with a girl who is a super happy person. you know that you make her happy. she is happy being with you. but does it somewhere kinda sorta bother you that she is happy with or without you? why?
> *Mmh, I don't mind happiness, just so long as it doesn't get in the way of being able to be serious about some things. I have met people who are just too happy for their own good. And eventually, it hits them hard.*
> 
> 7. if you were dating a girl who is sociable, not a social butterfly but has a lot of friends and people who like to talk to her, make plans to spend time, etc. - does it bother you that she is not always available to spend time with you when you want?
> *This probably would bug me quite a bit more than any of the above. I am an introverted person with a few friends I spend a lot of time with - that's part of how I've been raised. You show love and appreciation for people by being around them, and spending time with them. When someone doesn't spend that time with me, it makes me feel isolated.*
> 
> 8. are you jealous if your SO is being emotionally supportive to other guy friends? or if she is having fun and laughing with friends regardless of sex (and your not there) - does that bother you?
> *Not usually, no. We're all humans, we can all use support.*
> 
> 9. if you feel bothered or jealous or whatever, do you keep it to yourself? are you in crazy analyze mode? do you get angry or irritable?
> *Usually all of the above. I try to communicate it, but that's not very easy to do sometimes. Plus I internalize a lot.*
> 
> 10. do you get off on making a strong person weak? how so, if so.
> *I love to take people off their high horse, if that's what you mean. Big egos annoy the heck out of me. I don't know that I like to make them weak, but I do like to take them down to a more reasonable level - they're not perfect.*





Ningsta Kitty said:


> bro code question ...
> 
> if you saw a friend of yours (bro) and his GF, and you knew the GF enough to know she was an amazing person. and bro in question was behaving like a douche to her ...
> would you say anything? why or why not ...


*I'd call him out, but not around his girlfriend. Just because he's being a douche doesn't mean that I need to embarrass him, especially if I know that's not what he's really like. He may have some reason for it, and if I just call him out on the spot, it won't get that reason out.*


----------



## downsowf

Ningsta Kitty said:


> would you be more comfortable dating someone who had been married for a long time and was divorced? or was married for a long time and their spouse died. I know this question kinda sucks. But I want to know. Which would be a more comfortable/desirable scenario. and why. What would bother you about the former(not preferred) scenario. ?


Widow. I think someone who was married for a long time and then divorced would probably be more jaded when it comes to starting a new relationship. Although, I don't think I would have a problem with either scenario. It seems limiting to screen someone out due to a past relationship. As long as the person does not define themselves by their past relationships, does not assume I will treat them like their former flame, and is not always stuck in the past (which I've actually had to contend with) then it should be all gravy.


----------



## MegaTuxRacer

@Ningsta Kitty


> would you be more comfortable dating someone who had been married for a long time and was divorced? or was married for a long time and their spouse died. I know this question kinda sucks. But I want to know. Which would be a more comfortable/desirable scenario. and why. What would bother you about the former(not preferred) scenario. ?


I can see how both of these situations could cause problems. In the former, bitter from the divorce, loves and hates her ex at the same thing, etc. In the latter, still sad, not ready to move on, etc. Ultimately it comes down to the person. I think I would be more wary of a divorcee rather than a widow simply because the divorcee might not understand how to maintain a healthy relationship or reconcile differences. However, shit happens, so I am willing to give anyone a fair shake if I like them.


----------



## MegaTuxRacer

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Depends on the woman.
> 
> Do men know what they want? At which point is it typical for a man to contemplate what he wants?
> 
> I was thinking ...
> Please answer honestly even if you know I might not like the answers (that goes for any question I ask)
> 
> questions (curiosities) about jealousy ...
> 
> 1. do men get jealous about women making more money?
> *Depends. I think if she's okay with me making less then it's okay with me. It also depends on how finances are viewed, but I wouldn't enter a marriage without that being agreed upon early on. As long as it's viewed as "our" money rather than "her" money, it's fine because presumably I would be doing more of the around-the-house stuff.*
> 
> 2. do men get bothered or jealous over women being capable of taking care of themselves?
> *I don't. I get pissed off when women are overly needy about things. Men too, but a woman who can stand on her own two feet is hot. If she needs someone to lean on from time-to-time, I don't mind being that person; but I expect the same courtesy in return.*
> 
> 3. is it unreasonable to expect a man to communicate when he's feeling jealous or insecure?
> *No, but it's unreasonable to expect the communication to be fluid and instantaneous.*
> 
> 4. If you had a friend who you thought was amazing and then found yourself in a relationship with that person. and she had other guy friends that she spoke to (but not on a emotionally deep level), would it bother you? why or why not. how would that make you feel regardless of the previous answer ?
> *No. I don't have a problem with an SO hanging out with guys. I think trust is important.
> 
> 5. if your guy friend met a girl and she was incredibly attractive, and you were in a super happy and fulfilling relationship with a girl not as attractive. would you be a little jeolous of him? why? would it effect how you saw your SO?
> 
> Think of it like this: I buy a computer, and it's the best computer I can buy. Six months later, a different model is released that is better in every way. I might think, "Oh wow I would love to have that computer," but I wouldn't be jealous of others that have it. Ultimately, I am more than happy with my computer--I know its ins-and-outs and I know where all of my files are. I don't need to learn anything new, and it works with me to get my work done efficiently.
> 
> So there is this primitive little part of my brain that would respond to the attractiveness of the new woman, but a much, much larger part of me is very happy where I am. I actually hope I can talk about stuff like that with an SO.
> 
> Her: That guy's hot.
> Me: What would you do to him?
> Her: Let me show you.
> *sims style sheets flying everywhere*
> 
> Okay maybe that's a fantasy, but you get the picture.
> 
> (flip the script) how would you handle it if you were dating a girl your guy friends (men generally) thought was an amazing girl who was also very attractive. Would it bother you? would you always feel a little on edge about her getting to know your friends, or interacting with the opposite sex at work or want not.
> I don't associate myself that would do anything that would make me nervous, so no.
> 
> 6. so you are in a relationship with a girl who is a super happy person. you know that you make her happy. she is happy being with you. but does it somewhere kinda sorta bother you that she is happy with or without you? why?
> No because that would mean I wouldn't be happy without her. I don't want someone to be totally dependent on, and I don't want someone to be totally dependent on me. Entering into a relationship introduces certain levels of dependence, but that kind of dependence is revolting to me. I hope that I enhance her happiness, but I don't hope for her to depend on me for it. I also know that there may be times where we just aren't happy with each other, and those are called hurdles.
> 
> 7. if you were dating a girl who is sociable, not a social butterfly but has a lot of friends and people who like to talk to her, make plans to spend time, etc. - does it bother you that she is not always available to spend time with you when you want?
> If it gets in the way of our relationship, I will let her know. It doesn't bother me when an SO has friends that she spends time with regularly though. That's really important.
> 
> 8. are you jealous if your SO is being emotionally supportive to other guy friends? or if she is having fun and laughing with friends regardless of sex (and your not there) - does that bother you?
> No. I would hope she would be emotionally supportive of her friends.
> 
> 9. if you feel bothered or jealous or whatever, do you keep it to yourself? are you in crazy analyze mode? do you get angry or irritable?
> First, I determine if I should be jealous. If so, I deal with my own issues and bring her into it if need be. Otherwise, yeah I will let her know about it.
> 
> 10. do you get off on making a strong person weak? how so, if so.
> No.*


*

Beep boop fulfilling PerC's wishes.*


----------



## Monkey King

How is it like being a father? 

Do you find it limiting? If yes, how so? If no, why not?


Taken from Ask a woman thread: 



wiarumas said:


> I'm nearly certain hair is the most common among men. Not weird at all. That's one reason women's hair is long to begin with. It signals "I'm a female" from a distance. * It also signifies so much about the woman.*


Like?


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Ningsta Kitty said:


> More Questions:


*1. What did you want to be when you grew up?*

I'm lazy, So I will quote myself :tongue:

http://personalitycafe.com/sex-relationships/124962-im-man-ask-me-anything-22.html#post3209320


Mr. Meepers said:


> http://personalitycafe.com/sex-relationships/124962-im-man-ask-me-anything-18.html#post3207394
> 
> As far as Career goals:
> From age 5-18 I wanted to be:
> - A McDonald's' worker
> - A free taxicab driver for the poor
> - a marine biologist
> - a zoologist
> - a paleontologist
> - a geologist
> - Every kind of scientist
> - a inventor of weapons (Not to hurt people, but to blow stuff up like in cartoons ... needless to say I realized the implications of that dream and it had died)
> - an inventor
> - an engineer
> 
> Since 18 years old
> - an engineer
> - all the branches of theoretical physics at some point
> - Applied quantum mechanics
> - A pure mathematician
> 
> Now, I have some project that I want to work on that feel a bit more interesting than those careers to me
> http://personalitycafe.com/infp-for...d-random-thoughts-ideas-1150.html#post2978423


I also wanted to be a soccer player and a Dad when I was a kid (when I was 5 I used to ask Moms in the super market if I could kiss there kid in the stroller ... Presidential training )

2. What do you want to do when you grow up?

I thought I was all grown up *pouty face* Hmph :tongue:

*3. Did you have a best friend when you were a little boy? Do you still know the person?*

I had a few at different times ... and no, I have not talked to them in years

*4. What was your favorite book as a little boy (about let's say 10) ?*

I don't know lol ... Too much reading used to hurt my eyes back then and I had headaches all the time, so I was not a big reader ... maybe the Narnia books were my favorite ... I think I liked them a lot

*5. Do you remember your favorite pair of pajama's as a little boy? 
(or favorite other piece of clothing) what was it ?*

Nope, I don't remember ... my memory of my childhood is not that great lol


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> Sorry, I was just being honest.


 it's okay. my apologies. I was probably being too sensitive. Just I don't think enough people take parenting as seriously as they should ...


----------



## wiarumas

Thanks for joining in! In quote. 



Monkey King said:


> How is it like being a father?
> 
> Do you find it limiting? If yes, how so? If no, why not?
> 
> *Its okay. It has its ups an downs. To quote what a coworker said to me, it's the best worst thing to ever happen to you. The reason why it's bad is because its very limiting and constantly testing you. A trip to the grocery store becomes a huge ordeal. Going to the movies is a rarity. Your freedom as you know it is completely evaporated into small puddles.
> 
> The good news is that it makes these puddles really appreciated. Everything you used to take for granted becomes special. A trip to the movies. Going go the mall. There is this slight sense of success I get because its like life on hard mode and the logistics of everything becomes complicated. it feels good to just generally be on top of it. The only way I can explain this I that single life seems easy, empty, and shallow in retrospect.
> 
> A non parent won't understand but those who are probably know exactly what I'm talking about. Despite bathing a child 3 times in a row because they keep vomiting. In a sick kind of way, is more rewarding than infinite nights of bar hopping and trips to Bermuda.
> .*
> 
> Taken from Ask a woman thread:
> 
> Like?
> 
> *the text didnt make it over but it was in regards to why I look at hair. It's kinda the same way women look at hands apparently. Nice hair tells me either she has good genes or takes care of herself, either way it's a good thing. Also, professionalism of hair, fashionable or not, short vs long, elaborateness of hairstyle, how long it takes to get ready, etc. Though, not always an accurate first impression and should be taken with a level of skepticism. *


----------



## Wellsy

Ningsta Kitty said:


> More Questions:
> 
> 1. What did you want to be when you grew up?
> *Going to be corny, but I never had an ideal job in mind and still don't. But the one thing that I always hoped to be, was a good man, it's a pretty general statement to fulfill and I prefer it that way.*
> 
> 2. What do you want to do when you grow up?
> *​I never really have much certainty for the future as a lot can happen in the space of one year. I suppose I tend to live in a bubble world of my own, so really what I hope for is to simply experience more things. The novelty, the pain, the highs, the friends and all that. I want to feel alive.*
> 
> 3. Did you have a best friend when you were a little boy? Do you still know the person?
> *There was one boy whom I was best friends through out all of primary school. I still know him, I never forgot him hahaha But no we're not friends anymore. Things never turned sour or anything, just drifted apart growing up into different individuals. I was a quiet shy boy who wouldn't leave his house to visit friends and he was a kid who loved being in the spotlight and pushing his social skills.*
> 
> 4. What was your favorite book as a little boy (about let's say 10)
> *This is something that's stereotyped to INFP's, but I never really read much at any stage in my life. I don't dislike books but I never invested much time into them. I suppose if there was a book...My father had this Nursery Rhyme book he read to my older half-sisters when they were little. He never read it to me but I still enjoyed it, I remember many of the stories, very amusing stuff.*
> 
> 5. Do you remember your favorite pair of pajama's as a little boy?
> (or favorite other piece of clothing) what was it ?


*I did have batman PJ's when I was really young, what I loved about it was I had a cape with it too that stuck on with velcro and I would try and run fast enough so my cape would glide up.*


----------



## wiarumas

In quote. 



Ningsta Kitty said:


> I don't care that you are not interested in me. I'd like to think you'd respect my career as a mom. Absolutely. I have another career but that is not really my career. My number one job is being a mom. I think that I'm surprised to hear you use the phrase ... 'Just a mom' ...
> 
> *pretty anti climatic set of answers haha. *
> 
> More Questions:
> 
> 1. What did you want to be when you grew up?
> 
> *Architect*.
> 
> 2. What do you want to do when you grow up?
> 
> *travel*
> 
> 3. Did you have a best friend when you were a little boy? Do you still know the person?
> 
> *no, I never had best friends.*
> 
> 4. What was your favorite book as a little boy (about let's say 10) ?
> 
> *Andrew Henry's Meadow:Amazon:Books*
> 
> 5. Do you remember your favorite pair of pajama's as a little boy?
> (or favorite other piece of clothing) what was it ?
> 
> *no, I don't. *


----------



## petite libellule

What do you think is the most common top 5 personality dealbreakers, 
and top 5 physical dealbreakers are for most men.


----------



## wiarumas

In quote...



Ningsta Kitty said:


> What do you think is the most common top 5 personality dealbreakers,
> 
> *in no specific order:
> 
> -lack of intelligence
> -no sense of humor
> -insecurity/instability
> -lazy
> -narcissism
> *
> 
> and top 5 physical dealbreakers are for most men.
> 
> *-bad breathe (no smokers please)
> -unhealthy weight (skinny as well as obese)
> -excessive makeup
> -posture (this is me - maybe not most men)
> -excessive body hair
> *


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Ningsta Kitty said:


> What do you think is the most common top 5 personality dealbreakers,
> and top 5 physical dealbreakers are for most men.


Idk ... Most of my male friends are nerds (I don't think they count) :tongue:

So I'm just gonna guess at these lol

Personality
- Has a Mental Disorder and/or is an addict 
- Has a severe lack of intelligence
- Has values that are at great conflict with his (or does things against his values)
- Someone who is not emotionally healthy maybe
- Someone who is no fun >.< :tongue:

Physical (also just gonna guess):
- Someone who has, or once had, male genitalia (not for all men, but I imagine for most heterosexual men this is true)
- Someone who smells bad >.<
- Someone who is too heavy or too thin maybe?
- Um ... idk ... has very uncommon, easily visible deformities maybe?
- Someone who has webbed feet ... no that is kind of cool ... um Someone with too much plastic surgery maybe? ... I noticed a lot of heterosexual guys have said that breast implants are a dealbreaker on this forum 


Turn-ons are:
- Meeps ... lots and lots of meeps :kitteh:


----------



## petite libellule

@Mr Meepers

So if she used to be called Thomas, that's a deal breaker?

What if she has webbed toes and had saved your life and was beautiful and you guys fell in love and she gave phenomenal head and meeped all over the kitchen making you gourmet meals ... would you break up with her if she used to be named Thomas James(had.a)Johnson ?


----------



## petite libellule

Following up from the previous @Mr Meepers post ...

Are fake boobs THAT bad? what if they were the kind that looked more real, not over done. what about corrective surgery like after babies. Lot's of women do that. What about stretch marks. (refers to former). What if she were fun and exciting and perfect in every way but snorted when she laughed really hard. What about women best friends. Is it possible for men to have a female best friend and have NO sexual interest whatsoever. If a man is emotionally open to his best friend, how available is he really to another woman's influence? and about influencing women: Do men like(enjoy) being a mentor to women even if they have no attachment to them? And about gifts: Why do men give gifts to women when the women is clearly angry. Why don't they talk about it instead. I do know some men do. Just so many don't. What if you were with a girl who couldn't have children and you wanted some, would you adopt? would you be childless? What if met your soul mate and you hated cats and she had dozens of cat's, what would you do? 

Ok. That's all


----------



## downsowf

Ningsta Kitty said:


> So if she used to be called Thomas, that's a deal breaker?
> 
> What if she has webbed toes and had saved your life and was beautiful and you guys fell in love and she gave phenomenal head and meeped all over the kitchen making you gourmet meals ... would you break up with her if she used to be names Thomas James(had.a)Johnson ?


phenomenal head can compensate for most things.


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Following up from the previous @Mr Meepers post ...
> 
> Are fake boobs THAT bad?


Kind of, yeah.



> what if they were the kind that looked more real, not over done. what about corrective surgery like after babies. Lot's of women do that.


Meh, I'm not that in love with breasts anyway. What's her legs look like?



> What about stretch marks. (refers to former).


It depends on the severity, that'll affect if it's an issue or not.



> What if she were fun and exciting and perfect in every way but snorted when she laughed really hard.


That could be endearing.



> What about women best friends. Is it possible for men to have a female best friend and have NO sexual interest whatsoever.


Yeah.



> If a man is emotionally open to his best friend, how available is he really to another woman's influence?


Should he be open to anyone's influence?



> and about influencing women: Do men like(enjoy) being a mentor to women even if they have no attachment to them?


Mentoring? That's a little odd.



> And about gifts: Why do men give gifts to women when the women is clearly angry.


Because men by and large just don't care about the actual problem and want to do whatever they can to make it go away faster. So they'll buy you shit to make you forget you're upset, like a child.



> Why don't they talk about it instead. I do know some men do. Just so many don't.


Emotions only really exist when you grow them through your experiences. Most men spend their life running away from them and are emotionally underdeveloped when they reach adulthood.



> What if you were with a girl who couldn't have children and you wanted some, would you adopt?


It depends how much I wanted to stay with her and how well she could convince me to adopt.



> would you be childless?


I could do that.



> What if met your soul mate and you hated cats and she had dozens of cat's, what would you do?


Impossible, my soul mate would have to be a dog person.


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> @Mr Meepers
> 
> So if she used to be called Thomas, that's a deal breaker?
> 
> What if she has webbed toes and had saved your life and was beautiful and you guys fell in love and she gave phenomenal head and meeped all over the kitchen making you gourmet meals ... would you break up with her if she used to be names Thomas James(had.a)Johnson ?


She sounds adorable.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Ningsta Kitty said:


> @Mr Meepers
> 
> 
> So if she used to be called Thomas, that's a deal breaker?
> 
> 
> What if she has webbed toes and had saved your life and was beautiful and you guys fell in love and she gave phenomenal head and meeped all over the kitchen making you gourmet meals ... would you break up with her if she used to be names Thomas James(had.a)Johnson ?



lmao (at had.a) ... I was answering for most guys lol


Me personally, if someone a had a sex change operation, idk. ... It is a position I have never been in and I don't know if I could feel such a sexually attraction for someone. If she gave me head and did not give me any signs that she was born with a Y-chromosome, I would not be mad, I imagine it would not be easy to tell someone and that that could be a deep source of insecurity. Um ... idk ... I think I would feel a little uncomfortable maybe  ... and, in most cases, I am not a fan of people going through surgery in order to be happy with their body (I am not talking about surgeries for health reasons or reconstructive surgery and the like).


So, until I am in that position, I can't say how I would feel because I don't have anything to compare it too. I just don't know




Ningsta Kitty said:


> Following up from the previous @Mr Meepers post ...





> Are fake boobs THAT bad? what if they were the kind that looked more real, not over done. what about corrective surgery like after babies. Lot's of women do that. What about stretch marks. (refers to former). What if she were fun and exciting and perfect in every way but snorted when she laughed really hard.


Okay, so I'm just gonna quote another post in another thread for this one ... Also, when I was 18, there was a woman that I had no attraction to and I fell for her and she had stretchmarks from being overweight ... Not, I'm gonna say non of these are deal breakers for me ... and snorting sounds cute lol

http://personalitycafe.com/infp-forum-idealists/9368-infps-sex-57.html#post2981386



Mr. Meepers said:


> I was tempted to start a separate thread about this but I felt more comfortable posting it in a thread already sexual in nature. Do you other INFP guys get totally turned off by fake breasts? Fake breasts don't do it for me at all. Natural shapes are more aesthetically pleasing and I just can't get over the fact that they are not real. It would bug me to know that my hypothetical SO had fake boobies. I think it takes away the thrill of "yay! boobies!" because they aren't really boobies. I think it might even be a symbolic thing where like taking your clothes off for your lover is like baring yourself to them. It's symbolic where it's like your baring your soul to the person. Fake boobs are kind of like a protective cover so you can't see the real person. It takes away from the body to body intimacy. Maybe that's part of the reason we get aroused from naked female bodies in the first place? It's like they're revealing who they really are underneath all protective covers. A lot of you guys seem to really value having real intimate connections with the person you would make love to and I was wondering if you could relate to this.
> 
> 
> 
> I don't know. I'm not even sure I have seen fake breasts (A testament to "quality" or a testament to my obliviousness). I suppose it could bother me depending on why she got them and if she feels the same way. Personally, I want people to be happy with their bodies as they are (I also want be to want healthy bodies too), so I'm not really a fan of most cosmetic surgery (reconstructive cosmetic surgery and "cosmetic" surgery that helps alleviate ailments of the body are big exceptions). But if someone changes their own body for themselves, and no one else, I won't look down on it.
> 
> But, sometimes people who may go through a cosmetic surgery may not respect themselves ... and if they still feel that way, how can I expect to have an equal and healthy, romantic relationship with them?!
> 
> As far as bearing your soul while you are naked ... or being "naked" while you are naked ... I'm not sure that I completely agree with you. Sometime when people "hide", they don't always "hide" very well ... and if we realize that they are "hiding" and notice how they are "hiding" ... we maybe able to guess why they are "hiding" ... Perhaps the one's wearing a visible mask are naturally the most "naked" (vulnerable) while they are naked ... If you can see that a woman has fake breasts, you might be looking at one (or some) of her insecurities (or once an insecurity). ... In a way (or at least looking at in a different way) those women may be more "naked" when they're naked.
Click to expand...




> What about women best friends. Is it possible for men to have a female best friend and have NO sexual interest whatsoever.


Yes, One close female friend I had no sexual or romantic interest in what so ever ... I liked her as a friend, but I was not attracted to her physically, I did not follow her reasoning a lot, I like cute - but she felt immature to be and not someone that I could have an "adult" relationship with, and she was taken.
I also had a female best friend that I had sexual interest in, but it diminished over time, I still had it, but the interest was not much anymore



> If a man is emotionally open to his best friend, how available is he really to another woman's influence?


Depends on the guy and the situation I suppose ... How interested is he in his best friend and is he going to try to ask her out? Or is he seeking and does not want to be in a relationship with his best friend, does not want to hurt the friendship, and/or was already rejected by her?



> and about influencing women: Do men like(enjoy) being a mentor to women even if they have no attachment to them?


Um ... I like to help people and I like to "gossip" ... Me: "So how was he? Was he hot" Did you have sex? Spill the beans. "

Um ... idk lol



> And about gifts: Why do men give gifts to women when the women is clearly angry. Why don't they talk about it instead. I do know some men do. Just so many don't.


Um ... idk ... Maybe they think they can just buy a person's love and affection and it is easier to buy gifts than to talk it out ... I don't know



> What if you were with a girl who couldn't have children and you wanted some, would you adopt? would you be childless? What if met your soul mate and you hated cats and she had dozens of cat's, what would you do?


Okay, I would like to adopt ... it would be both of our decision, but I would like to adopt.


Instead of cats, lets go with dogs (a dozed big dogs) ... Ever since I was bit by a German Shepard (okay the second time he bit me, because that was a scary experience for me), I have been terrified by dogs. ... I know that I would be okay with one dog (I even find it cute ... in a very scary way, but it is cute :kitteh ... maybe even a few ... I would really, really try with a dozen dogs but I would be so tense lol.

That being said, with that many animals, if she does not have a big enough space I would think that the animals would be cramped and the place would not be sanitary ... I would expect to her to have a very large place if she wants that many animals.


----------



## Master Mind

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Is it possible for men to have a female best friend and have NO sexual interest whatsoever.


Seeing how I've had female best friends before without any sexual interest, I'm going to have to say, "Yeah" to that. As usual, though, I note that I am an anomaly and that my attitude, outlook, etc., is atypical, as women have told me. My female best friend said it was refreshing that, and I quote, "I don't have to worry about you trying to get into my pants." For me it's a non-issue, and I don't see what the big deal is.


----------



## ForsakenMe

What do you think of those girls who don't try super hard on looking good? I don't mean, girls who never take a bath or wear clothing that looks worse than the average homeless person, but a girl who isn't very glamorous with her fashion choices (She's the "shirt goes on top, jeans go on bottom" type of person.) and doesn't wear makeup either at all or just a tiny bit? Because it seems like anytime I actually put effort in my appearance, I'm only treated better by my family and maybe close friends... but when I don't, a lot of men seem to think it's okay to hit on me. It kind of confuses me because I would think that if a girl doesn't go out of her way to make herself look good, men would avoid her. But that isn't the case with me. Is it the whole approachability thing?


----------



## William I am

@Introverted Innovator I didn't forget about you, just went out and got crazy last night and am hung over tonight. I'll answer eventually


----------



## Mr. Meepers

ForsakenMe said:


> What do you think of those girls who don't try super hard on looking good? I don't mean, girls who never take a bath or wear clothing that looks worse than the average homeless person, but a girl who isn't very glamorous with her fashion choices (She's the "shirt goes on top, jeans go on bottom" type of person.) and doesn't wear makeup either at all or just a tiny bit? Because it seems like anytime I actually put effort in my appearance, I'm only treated better by my family and maybe close friends... but when I don't, a lot of men seem to think it's okay to hit on me. It kind of confuses me because I would think that if a girl doesn't go out of her way to make herself look good, men would avoid her. But that isn't the case with me. Is it the whole approachability thing?


Not gonna lie, I like I woman with a sense of fashion  ... especially if it matches who she is ... And, from an aesthetic p.o.v., I appreciate it.

Hmmm, I know as an undergrad, women (at my university) usually did not dress up that much (it is just class usually lol), so they could just be used to it. ... Also if you are "just putting on any type of clothes", since you seem to be laid back about your outfit, people may assume that you are more laid back and a go with the flow type of women. Or maybe they are assuming you are not on your way to something important and that they would not be as much of a bother. ... And casual cloths are better to be spontaneous (offer more range of motion, tend to be cheaper and not as delicate as dress clothes, so it is not that bad if you get them dirty or stain or rip them). ... Also, are your casual clothes tight? :blushed::blushed::blushed: ... Because dress clothes maybe aesthetically pleasing, but tight casual clothes are sexy :blushed: (I would say that being more aesthetically pleasing can make one sexier, they are not the same thing) ... Casual clothes are good for cuddling in too :blushed:


----------



## JaySH

ForsakenMe said:


> What do you think of those girls who don't try super hard on looking good? I don't mean, girls who never take a bath or wear clothing that looks worse than the average homeless person, but a girl who isn't very glamorous with her fashion choices (She's the "shirt goes on top, jeans go on bottom" type of person.) and doesn't wear makeup either at all or just a tiny bit? Because it seems like anytime I actually put effort in my appearance, I'm only treated better by my family and maybe close friends... but when I don't, a lot of men seem to think it's okay to hit on me. It kind of confuses me because I would think that if a girl doesn't go out of her way to make herself look good, men would avoid her. But that isn't the case with me. Is it the whole approachability thing?


This is tough without more information. I think approachability may play a huge role. For those close to you you are no more intimidating dressed up than you are casually dressed. There's also the possibility your own confidence is boosted when dressed up making your personality more intimidating as well. On the flip...you could be more guarded when dressed up if you are not used to and comfortable with it. There's probably more to it though... I am far more attracted to a woman who is attractive without make-up and who doesn't feel the need to treat her face like an art canvas. 

As far as I'm concerned, natural beauty wins out every time....and prevents that scary wake up shock of"who are you and what happened to the girl i went to bed with last night? "

More to add but.....phones pissing me off so may do so later


----------



## Dauntless

KindOfBlue06 said:


> Damn @Ningsta Kitty you ask some really good questions!
> 
> I forgot what page these were on, but the one about short stories:
> 
> I have a vague to semi clear idea of what I want to achieve in the story. I know the begining and the ending, but the details I kind of have to think of. I outline in my head, and write "scenes" like a movie kind of. Then put those scenes in order in the story. That works best for me.
> 
> About the finger in ass question:
> 
> I'm an ass man. A woman's ass is beautiful, and any thing ass related drives me wild. I think part of this is taboo aspect. It's "dirty" and off limits ect. This taboo aspect of it also serves to heighten the intimacy of it, so to put my finger, toungue, cock, or a toy in it plays with both of those things. It brings me closer to my woman, and on top of this alot of women enjoy it(sometimes surprising themselves at how much.) This might be unrelated, but I'm also OCD. I like things clean, and I am allways washing my hands, silverware, clothes, ect. so I think the taboo aspect and it being considered dirty could be heightened as arousal due to this.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *All the time. You have to master the look, the poise, how you carry yourself, how you present yourself all the time. It boosts your confidence and that can take you a long way in this world. *


We all have them, she just is the best representative we have.


----------



## 7rr7s

More answers:



ForsakenMe said:


> What do you think of those girls who don't try super hard on looking good? I don't mean, girls who never take a bath or wear clothing that looks worse than the average homeless person, but a girl who isn't very glamorous with her fashion choices (She's the "shirt goes on top, jeans go on bottom" type of person.) and doesn't wear makeup either at all or just a tiny bit? Because it seems like anytime I actually put effort in my appearance, I'm only treated better by my family d maybe close friends... but when I don't, a lot of men seem to think it's okay to hit on me. It kind of confuses me because I would think that if a girl doesn't go out of her way to make herself look good, men would avoid her. But that isn't the case with me. Is it the whole approachability thing?


Hmmm, you could be onto something here. Depending on what she's wearing I might think she doesn't take care of herself. Or she might be tired or sick as this can be the case too. Some women look really cute when they are not dressed to the 9s with alot of makeup on too though, so I don't know if it would make her any more or less approachable. Regardless of what she;s wearing, if a woman is super attractive, a lot of men will feel intimidated by her beauty and not be comfortable talking to her. 



Enfpleasantly said:


> Men, what does the phrase "you have to love yourself first before you can love someone else" mean to you? *You have to look out for number 1. How can you treat someone good, and love them if you can't even do it for yourself? How will you believe them when they tell you the good things they see in you? You have to deal with your own issues, and make yourself the best version of you possible, before you can love someone else like that.*
> 
> Do you walk around your home in your underwear and watch tv with your hands in them? I'm just curious if men who do this really exist  *LOL yes I do this. Mostly because it keeps my arms warm, especially in the colder months. XD*
> 
> What do you think of men who try to intimidate you? What does it make you feel? How do you respond?


 *I size them up, take a look at my surroundings, and think about my options if a fight were to break out. I feel my body tense up, and my adrenaline starts pumping. I don't back down verbally or physically, but I try to remain calm **to calm them down and avoid any physical confrontations.*



Enfpleasantly said:


> Do you have a story of a time when a guy tried to intimidate you and you handled yourself well, establishing yourself as "not to be intimidated"? What did you do? Do you remember a time when you didn't handle yourself so well...maybe losing your temper?


*Good example: I was sitting at a park with my friends when 3 kids came up and started to intimid**ate us. "This is our park, you have to pay to be here. Give us money" They said. They took my friends hat off his head, and took his cigarettes from the table and lit one. They sat down next to my friends girlfriend and started hitting on her very agressively. I gave them the death stare. I didn't say a word to them, but I was thinking of the best way to attack them, and take them out if they continued. The one kid said he was scared by me, because I wasn't saying anything. Then he saw the scars on my arm and asked me if I had ever been stabbed before. I told him yeah, in a knife fight. Then I asked him if he had ever been stabbed or in a knife fight. He said no. I looked him dead in the eye, cold as ice and said. "Keep it that way." He said whoah bro, calm down. They gave us our stuff back and left. I out intimidated him with just my sheer presence. Didn't even have to fight them. I was proud of myself.*

*Bad example: Some guy cut me off in traffic. Then we ended up **next to each other at a red light. He looked over at me, and revved the engine, like he wanted to race, and I thought to myself "it's on motherfucker" The light turns green. We race each other. At the next red light, I end up behind him. He puts his car in reverse to fuck with me. I inch up closer to show I'm not intimidated. He reverses more, I inch closer. The light turns green and he sits there. I lay on the horn, flip him off and yell obscenities out the window.* *I finally pass him, and give him another good honk and the finger. I was still in rage mode for a good while after that. *



Enfpleasantly said:


> Is there anything in women's fashion that you don't understand or like? Anything that was super ugly to you at one point, but grew on you, or did it just consistently look awful to you?


*I love love LOVE women's hair. Bu**t one thing I never got was pony tails. WHY?! I don't like them, I think they look wierd, and then when they have it sticking out in the back of a baseball cap, that's even worse! I'm not really sure why I don't like them, I am just not a fan. Same with buns. They just remind me of old ladies. Nothing personal.

One other thing: is there a name for the style where they wear it up with a clip(pretty sure that's what it's called but I'm not sure) in the back, with the bangs hanging out in front? That is the sexiest thing ever, and more women should wear it like that. Start the revolution! *


----------



## perfectcircle

good god you really are a type 3


----------



## JaySH

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Do you think it might be confusing for women, growing up in a world where it's expected we get an education, and a career, and compete with men, and be independent ... that in the "dating game" we get confused when men complain that they have to make the first move, or that they are "intimidated". Do you think that within the relationship dynamic, women might want to not compete and just be able to sit back and be female ? ...
> !


I'm gonna "flip a bitch" and answer with a question:

Do you think it might be confusing for men that women, generally speaking, have stressed they want equality in all things? That they are "no different than men"? That they feel all things should be equal in life and in regards to chores(even when he works much more), money, financial decision making(even when she is not responsible and makes little to none)? Yet, when it comes to children, she should have the upper hand as "mother's are clearly better parents", and when it comes to dating she should be treated like a queen and the man her servant? 

Probably a better question for the ask a woman thread but, it's in response. 

Pssst: I believe in old fashioned manners and equality...just have a different view on it. So many seem to think being equal in worth means being the same in all fashions....instead of respecting our differences and letting our weaknesses and strengths compliment one another. 

Other men: have you experienced women with the above noted traits/beliefs? What are your thoughts on the hypocrisy?


----------



## android654

JaySH said:


> Other men: have you experienced women with the above noted traits/beliefs? What are your thoughts on the hypocrisy?


People are just the products of their surroundings. In other words, they just don't know any better.


----------



## n2freedom

Dear Ask a Man Anything,

If a man knows a woman is in love with him and he has made it very clear he doesn't want a relationship with her and he wants things to stay just like they are...very casual, then why doesn't he let go when she tries to leave? Why does he insist upon re-contacting her within a week to a month's time each time she attempts to leave to restart things? I read somewhere that there is nothing more addictive to a man than Control and Convenience.

I don't believe this is true for all men but it seems as if it is true for certain men...do you think Control and Convenience are the dynamics at play when men behave this way and/or something else? If you have ever done something like this, why?

Sincerely,
At my wit's end


----------



## Wellsy

n2freedom said:


> Dear Ask a Man Anything,
> 
> If a man knows a woman is in love with him and he has made it very clear he doesn't want a relationship with her and he wants things to stay just like they are...very casual, then why doesn't he let go when she tries to leave? Why does he insist upon re-contacting her within a week to a month's time each time she attempts to leave to restart things? I read somewhere that there is nothing more addictive to a man than Control and Convenience.I don't believe this is true for all men but it seems as if it is true for certain men...do you think Control and Convenience are the dynamics at play when men behave this way and/or something else?
> *
> - That ain't right, not your assumption but what the guy is doing. No matter the motivation, from my naive perspective he doesn't seem to hold much concern for the woman involved and her feelings. Perhaps he has a fear of intimacy but then im assuming things are of a casual but sexual nature and in that case I can imagine why he wouldn't want to let the woman go because he's got someone to provide that physical pleasure but he isn't taking it to the serious level and returning much back for it. In the view of give and take, he's taking more than he's giving i'd say.*
> -


That's just my view, but i perhaps don't fully understand the situation.
But if someones creating pain or discomfort well cut the pain off and live without the energy leech.


----------



## android654

n2freedom said:


> Dear Ask a Man Anything,
> 
> If a man knows a woman is in love with him and he has made it very clear he doesn't want a relationship with her and he wants things to stay just like they are...very casual, then why doesn't he let go when she tries to leave? Why does he insist upon re-contacting her within a week to a month's time each time she attempts to leave to restart things? I read somewhere that there is nothing more addictive to a man than Control and Convenience.
> 
> I don't believe this is true for all men but it seems as if it is true for certain men...do you think Control and Convenience are the dynamics at play when men behave this way and/or something else? If you have ever done something like this, why?
> 
> Sincerely,
> At my wit's end


Having your cake and eating it too. A person who does that wants things on their terms and their terms alone, but will compromise slightly if they feel they're in danger of losing their cake altogether. No more complicated than that.


----------



## JaySH

android654 said:


> People are just the products of their surroundings. In other words, they just don't know any better.


I don't fully agree but do in the sense that people are often influenced strongly by family ideals, society and certain role models within it. If what you say were entirely true, I would be a woman and child abusing, coke using, alcohol abusing, racist and sexist prick like my step dad and mother's boyfriend were. Instead, I used what they were as examples of what never to be because...I knew it was wrong. 

That said, there are areas I have given much effort to evolve in because my own views were wrong and influenced by society as well. But, I have the power to change them and I am responsible for them. What you've said almost excuses people for being "flawed" because of the examples set in their own surroundings.... 

But, it isn't untrue that it does play a huge role and may be ultimately responsible, if you don't hold an individual responsible for their own actions, emotions and individuality. For me, it can only be an influence you choose to or not to let mold who you are at the core and...people do know better. They just choose to ignore what they know because running with the masses within our personal ring is much easier than taking a stand.

Just my opinion.


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> Having your cake and eating it too. A person who does that wants things on their terms and their terms alone, but will compromise slightly if they feel they're in danger of losing their cake altogether. No more complicated than that.


Agree with this. The only thing I might have added if I had a penis is that it's best not to make a loaf of bread from the bread crumbs he's(her) giving you. It's easier said than done but we all essentially train people how to treat us. so if you are not respecting your own feelings, why should he? That is what I would have said, Ya know, if I had a hypothetical penis.


----------



## JaySH

n2freedom said:


> Dear Ask a Man Anything,
> 
> If a man knows a woman is in love with him and he has made it very clear he doesn't want a relationship with her and he wants things to stay just like they are...very casual, then why doesn't he let go when she tries to leave? Why does he insist upon re-contacting her within a week to a month's time each time she attempts to leave to restart things? I read somewhere that there is nothing more addictive to a man than Control and Convenience.
> 
> I don't believe this is true for all men but it seems as if it is true for certain men...do you think Control and Convenience are the dynamics at play when men behave this way and/or something else? If you have ever done something like this, why?
> 
> Sincerely,
> At my wit's end


I went through similar though, it was never a friend's with benefits it became less than a relationship loooong ago and finally came to a head over the summer when I had had enough. 

I think your case is different though. It is probably a fear of commitment on his end, less than it is about control and convenience. He loves you but the thought of that scares him. He'd never admit it but the friends I've had who did similar were like this. It could also be, as you and someone else said, he enjoys the control and his own freedom and doesn't want to let either go. You walk, he lets you then uses you missing him to reel you back in once you're vulnerable from time apart and before a new relationship has ensued and given you power to say "fuck off" to him. 

In either event, you should make it abundantly clear what you need from the relationship with him and stay strong in your convictions. Tell him it's all or nothing. He wants you back, he needs to agree to jump in to a relationship with you and the second he mentions not wanting it, walk away. Manipulate him, as he's done to you and, if love is there, he will choose the relationship. If not, he isn't worth your time. 

Just my $.02


----------



## 7rr7s

n2freedom said:


> Dear Ask a Man Anything,
> 
> If a man knows a woman is in love with him and he has made it very clear he doesn't want a relationship with her and he wants things to stay just like they are...very casual, then why doesn't he let go when she tries to leave? Why does he insist upon re-contacting her within a week to a month's time each time she attempts to leave to restart things? I read somewhere that there is nothing more addictive to a man than Control and Convenience.
> 
> I don't believe this is true for all men but it seems as if it is true for certain men...do you think Control and Convenience are the dynamics at play when men behave this way and/or something else? If you have ever done something like this, why?
> 
> Sincerely,
> At my wit's end


Most likely to keep his options open. Like @Wellsy said, it could be a fear of commitment or intimacy too, but I think for a lot of men, the less options they have, the less control/power they think they have. Not all men are like this, and in the above scenario, it manifests in shitty ways, but I've noticed this in men, the whole options thing. Not just with women, but with business, with life ect. "More" is a word that can really fuck with a man. You think you need more money, more status, who can bench more, who has more women, more options. 

The other thing that could be going on, is he could be afraid of the thought of losing you permenantly. I've noticed that men who do those kinds of things are usually manifesting (in unhealthy ways) their fear of loss. At some point in their past, they probably lost a woman they really cared about, and to counteract that pain, they have a constant need for control. When things are on their terms, and they are in control, they think they cannot lose you. If they decide to end things, it is on their terms and they rationize it in their minds. But in reality they still have no control, and are still a slave to the fear of loss. 

Hope that makes sense. Sorry for the lengthy explanation.


----------



## petite libellule

@KindOfBlue06 Thank You! and Thank You!! :kitteh:


----------



## android654

JaySH said:


> I don't fully agree but do in the sense that people are often influenced strongly by family ideals, society and certain role models within it. If what you say were entirely true, I would be a woman and child abusing, coke using, alcohol abusing, racist and sexist prick like my step dad and mother's boyfriend were. Instead, I used what they were as examples of what never to be because...I knew it was wrong.
> 
> That said, there are areas I have given much effort to evolve in because my own views were wrong and influenced by society as well. But, I have the power to change them and I am responsible for them. What you've said almost excuses people for being "flawed" because of the examples set in their own surroundings....
> 
> But, it isn't untrue that it does play a huge role and may be ultimately responsible, if you don't hold an individual responsible for their own actions, emotions and individuality. For me, it can only be an influence you choose to or not to let mold who you are at the core and...people do know better. They just choose to ignore what they know because running with the masses within our personal ring is much easier than taking a stand.
> 
> Just my opinion.


Not everyone makes a concerted effort to change their person.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Agree with this. The only thing I might have added if I had a penis is that it's best not to make a loaf of bread from the bread crumbs he's(her) giving you. It's easier said than done but we all essentially train people how to treat us. so if you are not respecting your own feelings, why should he? That is what I would have said, Ya know, if I had a hypothetical penis.


People should learn to be more assertive with the things they want and their dealings with people.


----------



## JaySH

KindOfBlue06 said:


> Most likely to keep his options open. Like @_Wellsy_ said, it could be a fear of commitment or intimacy too, but I think for a lot of men, the less options they have, the less control/power they think they have. Not all men are like this, and in the above scenario, it manifests in shitty ways, but I've noticed this in men, the whole options thing. Not just with women, but with business, with life ect. "More" is a word that can really fuck with a man. You think you need more money, more status, who can bench more, who has more women, more options.
> 
> The other thing that could be going on, is he could be afraid of the thought of losing you permenantly. I've noticed that men who do those kinds of things are usually manifesting (in unhealthy ways) their fear of loss. At some point in their past, they probably lost a woman they really cared about, and to counteract that pain, they have a constant need for control. When things are on their terms, and they are in control, they think they cannot lose you. If they decide to end things, it is on their terms and they rationize it in their minds. But in reality they still have no control, and are still a slave to the fear of loss.
> 
> Hope that makes sense. Sorry for the lengthy explanation.


That is a great response


----------



## JaySH

android654 said:


> Not everyone makes a concerted effort to change their person.
> 
> *right...but that isn't ignorance to their position being wrong. It's a personal choice to ignore their conscience. In most cases, they know better...they just don't care (enough).
> *
> 
> 
> People should learn to be more assertive with the things they want and their dealings with people.


*abso-fucking-lutely *


----------



## marybluesky

KindOfBlue06 said:


> The other thing that could be going on, is he could be afraid of the thought of losing you permenantly. I've noticed that men who do those kinds of things are usually manifesting (in unhealthy ways) their fear of loss. At some point in their past, they probably lost a woman they really cared about, and to counteract that pain, *they have a constant need for control*. When things are on their terms, and they are in control, they think they cannot lose you. *If they decide to end things, it is on their terms and they rationize it in their minds*. But in reality they still have no control, and are still a slave to the fear of loss.


Interesting. I was in a relationship & the boy had the same behaviour you mentioned. I didn`t understand why and it disturbed me. He was very unstable & it was like he transmitted his permanent stress to me. He broke up with me several times then returned. At some point I got tired and ended the thing forever but it was very hard to him to accept that (despite he did the same to me more than once). In fact he needed to be totally in control & neglected that a relationship is about two persons not one.
He was very afraid of being cheated to the point that someday he suddenly told me:" if someone cheates on me, I do this & this ...." I was bothered because there was no reason to say such a thing, and when I said I were disappointed he answered:" No! You are not the type who cheats on! I just told this because I wanted you to know all about me!" 
Now I understand why he did it.


----------



## perfectcircle

KindOfBlue06 said:


> I'm an ass man. A woman's ass is beautiful, and any thing ass related drives me wild. I think part of this is taboo aspect. It's "dirty" and off limits ect. This taboo aspect of it also serves to heighten the intimacy of it, so to put my finger, toungue, cock, or a toy in it plays with both of those things. It brings me closer to my woman, and on top of this alot of women enjoy it(sometimes surprising themselves at how much.) This might be unrelated, but I'm also OCD. I like things clean, and I am allways washing my hands, silverware, clothes, ect. so I think the taboo aspect and it being considered dirty could be heightened as arousal due to this.


I feel like I just walked in on my brother having sex or something. So many things I can't unknow.


----------



## petite libellule

adverseaffects said:


> I feel like I just walked in on my brother having sex or something. So many things I can't unknow.


 LOL! Ya know, it's like something gross you can't stop looking at. Everything in you is saying, "EWWW GROSS!!!" ... but you are just COMPELLED to stare at it more, taking in all the details. It's like, no matter HOW much I'm shocked, I'm never really _surprised_. People are weird. :tongue: 

-_- I suffer from sick curiosity.


----------



## perfectcircle

Ningsta Kitty said:


> LOL! Ya know, it's like something gross you can't stop looking at. Everything in you is saying, "EWWW GROSS!!!" ... but you are just COMPELLED to stare at it more, taking in all the details. It's like, no matter HOW much I'm shocked, I'm never really _surprised_. People are weird. :tongue:
> 
> -_- I suffer from sick curiosity.


Haha well in my case it's not that I think it's gross but it's more that kob and I are have a strong friendship relationship so yes the visual was kind of weird.


----------



## wiarumas

marybluesky said:


> Do men behave women with more delicate "petite" features more gently? Especially when she is a bit baby-faced.


I dont treat them any different.


----------



## android654

adverseaffects said:


> I feel like I just walked in on my brother having sex [...]


And now this thread has gotten kinky.


----------



## wiarumas

n2freedom said:


> Dear Ask a Man Anything,
> 
> If a man knows a woman is in love with him and he has made it very clear he doesn't want a relationship with her and he wants things to stay just like they are...very casual, then why doesn't he let go when she tries to leave? Why does he insist upon re-contacting her within a week to a month's time each time she attempts to leave to restart things? I read somewhere that there is nothing more addictive to a man than Control and Convenience.
> 
> I don't believe this is true for all men but it seems as if it is true for certain men...do you think Control and Convenience are the dynamics at play when men behave this way and/or something else? If you have ever done something like this, why?
> 
> Sincerely,
> At my wit's end


Sounds like he is comfortable where things are and doesn't want it to change. 

Sounds like he doesn't love you, but needs to have you around. It might be the control and convenience thing, or possibly that he feels alone, insecure, etc when single. Commitment is too much, but the other side of the spectrum is also scary. Thus, what I mean by comfortable. 

I wouldn't do that and I wouldn't be with someone like that either. It sounds toxic and manipulative. He is basically just using you to fill the emptiness in his life.


----------



## android654

marybluesky said:


> Do men behave women with more delicate "petite" features more gently? Especially when she is a bit baby-faced.


I do, but it's based more on their stature. I kind of have no choice but to handle someone who's 5'2" and weighs 100 lbs a little more gingerly than someone who's 5' 10" and weighs 160.


----------



## 2eng

marybluesky said:


> Do men behave women with more delicate "petite" features more gently? Especially when she is a bit baby-faced.


Nope, no difference in treatment.


----------



## petite libellule

what is the weirdest request a woman has asked of you sexually ?


----------



## Enfpleasantly

What did you feel/think when you heard about the shooting in Ct?


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> what is the weirdest request a woman has asked of you sexually ?


Define "weird."


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> Define "weird."


 okay, fair enough 

what is the most craziest/kinkiest thing a woman has asked of you sexually?


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> okay, fair enough
> 
> what is the most craziest/kinkiest thing a woman has asked of you sexually?


It's not really kinky, more odd really. I had someone who wanted to do a Korean basket trick. It stayed in the realm of discussion though, as we never found a way to rig a basket to the ceiling. Then there was the first time someone mentioned kinbaku...


----------



## 7rr7s

Enfpleasantly said:


> What did you feel/think when you heard about the shooting in Ct?


I was at work, and I was distracted with other things, so I kind of blocked it out of my mind. I kept the radio on, and made a point to remember where I was, because I felt like it was one of those significant tragedies you will allways remember. I remember where I was on 9/11, Columbine, OKC bombing, ect. I was kind of desensitized to it for a while, which made me sick, but when I turned on the news a few days later, it really hit me. I had to turn it off because it was really starting to get to me. It's really sad and fucked up.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> okay, fair enough
> 
> what is the most craziest/kinkiest thing a woman has asked of you sexually?


My ex told me she preffered it if I grew my pubes out long, so I stopped shaving down there. She also asked me to face fuck her. Also, a woman asked me to roleplay incest fantasies with her. Daddy/daughter. That and violent rape fantasies.


----------



## JaySH

Enfpleasantly said:


> What did you feel/think when you heard about the shooting in Ct?


"Oh.My.God...Was this in a town I know people?"
"how does someone do that to children....babies....wtf is wrong with this world?"
"How....how does a parent move on from this...I feel sick...so, so sad and unnecessary a tragedy!"
"fuckin coward killed himself after shooting defenseless children....he deserved far worse a demise?"
"Don't schools have locked doors now with a doorbell?...how'd he get in?"
"stop questioning the damn children...they've been through enough!!!"


And many, many other thoughts including what I would do to the sick fuck if I had the opportunity....but, that is to graphic in nature to explain here.


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> what is the weirdest request a woman has asked of you sexually ?


God this is an amazing question. One thing I learned is there is no shortage of kinky from some women and others, not so much. There is some relatively tame requests like fisting (or attempts), period sex, and sex in public which is kinda weird/kinky, but understandable and probably kinda common. But the weirdest would have to be a request for me to save my cum from masterbating for her and another wanted to toss my salad while on all fours. Those two probably top the list. I've heard some other sorta weird ones too - one time a girl complained I wasn't hurting her enough while fingering her and wanted me to pretend I was raping her. Another girl asked if I would make out with another guy and have her watch (not happening).


----------



## Enfpleasantly

KindOfBlue06 said:


> I was at work, and I was distracted with other things, so I kind of blocked it out of my mind. I kept the radio on, and made a point to remember where I was, because I felt like it was one of those significant tragedies you will allways remember. I remember where I was on 9/11, Columbine, OKC bombing, ect. I was kind of desensitized to it for a while, which made me sick, but when I turned on the news a few days later, it really hit me. I had to turn it off because it was really starting to get to me. It's really sad and fucked up.





JaySH said:


> "Oh.My.God...Was this in a town I know people?"
> "how does someone do that to children....babies....wtf is wrong with this world?"
> "How....how does a parent move on from this...I feel sick...so, so sad and unnecessary a tragedy!"
> "fuckin coward killed himself after shooting defenseless children....he deserved far worse a demise?"
> "Don't schools have locked doors now with a doorbell?...how'd he get in?"
> "stop questioning the damn children...they've been through enough!!!"
> 
> 
> And many, many other thoughts including what I would do to the sick fuck if I had the opportunity....but, that is to graphic in nature to explain here.


Sorry to drag the conversation down. I was just wondering how men felt about it. I'm so upset about it. I haven't been this upset about something in a long time. My son is 6  I keep thinking about the wonderful teachers who protected them and tried to console them. I can't even begin to explain what it makes me feel for them as a Mom. It's so devastating


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> What did you feel/think when you heard about the shooting in Ct?


I just thought it was another shooting. Not suprising I thought. Then I saw it was kids and thought it was really messed up. 

Then I got annoyed by all the Facebook rants.


----------



## JaySH

Enfpleasantly said:


> Sorry to drag the conversation down. I was just wondering how men felt about it. I'm so upset about it. I haven't been this upset about something in a long time. My son is 6  I keep thinking about the wonderful teachers who protected them and tried to console them. I can't even begin to explain what it makes me feel for them as a Mom. It's so devastating


i am a father of 2 boys so, I can relate. You asked what we thought when we heard about it...not how we felt....that's a whole different question...I will answer later if you like. It will take time to put those feelings to words.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

wiarumas said:


> I just thought it was another shooting. Not suprising I thought. Then I saw it was kids and thought it was really messed up.
> 
> Then I got annoyed by all the Facebook rants.


You mean like the ones saying it wouldn't have happened if God was allowed in public schools? I hate that one. My friend had a fantastic response for that...she said if God refused to help those babies because he wasn't "allowed" in their school, then he's a petty asshole.


----------



## android654

wiarumas said:


> But the weirdest would have to be a request for me to save my cum from masterbating for her.


She sounds like a hoarder.


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> You mean like the ones saying it wouldn't have happened if God was allowed in public schools? I hate that one. My friend had a fantastic response for that...she said if God refused to help those babies because he wasn't "allowed" in their school, then he's a petty asshole.


Yep, that one is really annoying to me too. I just don't like how people pounce all over this to push their agenda. It's just one big pathos argument.


----------



## wiarumas

android654 said:


> She sounds like a hoarder.


Nope. I'm pretty sure she had intentions of wanting to eat it. On salad I think she said lol.


----------



## android654

wiarumas said:


> Nope. I'm pretty sure she had intentions of wanting to eat it. On salad I think she said lol.


Okay, you win. You're joke was more gross than mine.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

wiarumas said:


> Yep, that one is really annoying to me too. I just don't like how people pounce all over this to push their agenda. It's just one big pathos argument.


Oh yeah, one of my friends (a Scentsy consultant) posted crap about if you buy a Scentsy buddy, they will donate another to the children at that school. Ok, I can see how some would view that as "nice", but I see it as attempting to make a profit on such a tragedy. I mean, at least wait a little bit for that crap, geez. It had the opposite effect on me...I don't think I'll order from Scentsy again :/


----------



## Enfpleasantly

wiarumas said:


> Nope. I'm pretty sure she had intentions of wanting to eat it. On salad I think she said lol.


:shocked:


----------



## petite libellule

wiarumas said:


> Nope. I'm pretty sure she had intentions of wanting to eat it. On salad I think she said lol.


stale cum over salad? that is SO REPULSIVE! *shudders* BLeeech! *gag* 

I'm pretty sure I just vomited a lil bit in my mouth.

@_android654_ I looked up the bondage thing. I don't get it. 
what makes it different than tying someone up?

One more for the guys, (flipping the script) ...

What was the weirdest/craziest/kinkiest sexual request of a female made by you ?
*obviously you don't have to answer this question. but I had to ask out of curiosity. lol!*


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> @_android654_ I looked up the bondage thing. I don't get it.
> what makes it different than typing someone up?


The basket trick? I've got no idea what the appeal about it was, she was the one who requested it. It seems a little pointless since all it is is placing someone in a basket and lowering them on to you I fail to find what would be different from that and riding. But who am I to say no?

If you meant kinbaku, it's a lot more involved than simple binding and there are dozens of different knot patterns that makes it go from a few small cross sections of rope to an almost cocoon-like binding. It compresses the body all over as opposed to just hands and feet. That inability to move while people are doing things to you is a huge turn on for a lot of people.




> What was the weirdest/craziest/kinkiest sexual request of a female made by you ?
> *obviously you don't have to answer this question. but I had to ask out of curiosity. lol!*


Christ, where do I begin with this one?


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> Christ, where do I begin with this one?


 :laughing: it's okay. you don't have to answer that one ... 

Okay, last one for the day. 

What do men _really_ mean when they tell you that you're complicated.


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> :laughing: it's okay. you don't have to answer that one ...


I was gonna, I was just thinking of a good one to share. I've requested to be cut during sex. One girl agreed, but took it as a chance to be funny and she came back to the room with a cleaver. Needless to say the moment passed.



> What do men _really_ mean when they tell you that you're complicated.


You either change your mind too much for their liking or you display too many thought or emotions they don't want to take the time to try and understand.


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> :laughing: it's okay. you don't have to answer that one ...
> 
> Okay, last one for the day.
> 
> What do men _really_ mean when they tell you that you're complicated.


This is what I meant by men are simple. There is no hidden meaning. Women seem to have so many underlying thoughts that they can't take a mans word at face value and assume its deceptive in its simplicity. They really mean you are complicated and don't understand where you are coming from, why, etc. or they thought they understood, but no longer do. 

That's the biggest guy secret against women. There are no secrets. You look at us and wonder what is going on in that head and we are sitting there looking back at you thinking "why is she looking at me like that?" And that's it.


----------



## Jennywocky

JaySH said:


> "Oh.My.God...Was this in a town I know people?"
> "how does someone do that to children....babies....wtf is wrong with this world?"
> "How....how does a parent move on from this...I feel sick...so, so sad and unnecessary a tragedy!"
> "fuckin coward killed himself after shooting defenseless children....he deserved far worse a demise?"
> "Don't schools have locked doors now with a doorbell?...how'd he get in?"
> "stop questioning the damn children...they've been through enough!!!"
> 
> 
> And many, many other thoughts including what I would do to the sick fuck if I had the opportunity....but, that is to graphic in nature to explain here.


I had a lot of those thoughts too.

I think personality can play a large role in this, not just gender. As a parent, my heart is broken for the families and just dumbstruck by the death of young children in such horrific fashion; at the same time, my INTP brain is automatically trying to keep a detached big-picture perspective and not just react out of my emotions. I'm getting annoyed at all the FaceBook ranting on both sides of the fence that all seem emotional in core, rather than truly coming up with reasonable, long-range solutions.

So guys expressing different ranges of reactions doesn't surprise me, that seems expected.


----------



## android654

wiarumas said:


> This is what I meant by men are simple. There is no hidden meaning. Women seem to have so many underlying thoughts that they can't take a mans word at face value and assume its deceptive in its simplicity. They really mean you are complicated and don't understand where you are coming from, why, etc. or they thought they understood, but no longer do.
> 
> That's the biggest guy secret against women. There are no secrets. You look at us and wonder what is going on in that head and we are sitting there looking back at you thinking "why is she looking at me like that?" And that's it.


Speak of yourself on that one.


----------



## petite libellule

If you had a little sister. And she was fairly naive for lack of a better term ...
what 10 things would you tell her about the world so she could watch out for herself?

If you knew a girl. And she was fairly naive for lack of a better term ...
would you be tempted to corrupt her? (in any way,shape or form). would you do it?

If you had a little sister. And she was fairly naive for lack of a better term ...
and you found out she had some psychic power. Like predict winning lotto tickets.
Would this change the dynamic of your relationship? In what way?

If you knew a girl. And she was hardly naive for lack of a better term ...
Would you trust her?


----------



## 7rr7s

wiarumas said:


> Nope. I'm pretty sure she had intentions of wanting to eat it. On salad I think she said lol.


She wanted to toss your salad, and then eat a cum salad? I was going to have salad tonight, but somehow I am not that hungry for it anymore. 



Enfpleasantly said:


> Oh yeah, one of my friends (a Scentsy consultant) posted crap about if you buy a Scentsy buddy, they will donate another to the children at that school. Ok, I can see how some would view that as "nice", but I see it as attempting to make a profit on such a tragedy. I mean, at least wait a little bit for that crap, geez. It had the opposite effect on me...I don't think I'll order from Scentsy again :/


What is Scentsy? And I agree, that sounds like not the best way to show your support...



Ningsta Kitty said:


> One more for the guys, (flipping the script) ...
> 
> What was the weirdest/craziest/kinkiest sexual request of a female made by you ?
> *obviously you don't have to answer this question. but I had to ask out of curiosity. lol!*


Aside from a strip tease, I asked a woman to whisper my name and think of me the next time she was playing with herself. 



Ningsta Kitty said:


> :laughing: it's okay. you don't have to answer that one ...
> 
> Okay, last one for the day.
> 
> What do men _really_ mean when they tell you that you're complicated.


Sometimes you say things but mean something else, or act in ways that confuse us. Guys are usually pretty simple. Basically most things a man does can be summed up by three main desires: food, sex, sleep. We are not as great as women are for the most part reading between the lines, picking up on subtleties, signals, things like that. It seems complicated.


----------



## wiarumas

In quote...



Ningsta Kitty said:


> If you had a little sister. And she was fairly naive for lack of a better term ...
> what 10 things would you tell her about the world so she could watch out for herself?
> *
> 10 things? Ugh. I do have a sister who was 4 years younger and despite our somewhat good terms of a relationship, I really felt no need to warn her of things. Nobody did for me and I'm okay. It's a part of life. But if I had to list a couple...
> 
> 1-don't date assholes
> 2-don't have 1 night stands
> 3-know how much you can drink
> 4-don't try to change a guy
> 5-do date someone who you work effectively with
> 6-do date men who share your beliefs and perspective on the world
> 7-don't move in together prematurely
> 8-don't be afraid to break up with people
> 9-don't think you need to go to college and you can be whatever you want to be when you grow up... It's sometimes conflicting advice
> 10-do be responsible with money and debt
> *
> 
> If you knew a girl. And she was fairly naive for lack of a better term ...
> would you be tempted to corrupt her? (in any way,shape or form). would you do it?
> 
> *i don't corrupt people for the sake of corrupting them. Her level of innocence is irrelevant. I do it because I want it to be that way. If I were dating a virgin, I'd take her virginity because I want to have sex, not because I'm tempted to corrupt her. *
> 
> If you had a little sister. And she was fairly naive for lack of a better term ...
> and you found out she had some psychic power. Like predict winning lotto tickets.
> Would this change the dynamic of your relationship? In what way?
> 
> *it wouldn't change our relationship. Like i said we are on good terms. but id probably ask her to give me some lottery numbers next time I saw her. *
> 
> If you knew a girl. And she was hardly naive for lack of a better term ...
> Would you trust her?
> 
> *yeah. Why wouldn't I? I have one hardly naive chick taking care of my kid as we speak lol. She has access to my bank accounts, credit cards, etc. should I be worried? Haha *


----------



## 7rr7s

Ningsta Kitty said:


> If you had a little sister. And she was fairly naive for lack of a better term ...
> what 10 things would you tell her about the world so she could watch out for herself?
> 
> *I do have a little sister, and although she is 18 she still seems very naieve in alot of ways. Here is what I would/have told her:
> *
> *1. Look out for number one. Listen to yourself, and trust yourself. At the end of the day, you are the most important person in your world, just don't let it get to your head.
> 
> 2. Be more respectful to your parents, and be more grateful for the opportunities you have. You have it pretty fucking good in life, and the majority of people don't have that advantage.
> 
> 3. Never trust anyone %100. Don't idealize people, because they are not perfect, not even you. They will let you down at some point no matter how great they are. Don't be overly cynical, but be realistic about it. Everyone is looking out for themselves too, seeing how you fit in in their plan. The better you size people up, the easier you can guard yourself if they try to take advantage of you. Don't be a victim.
> 
> 4. Life is just a series of oscilations between times of order and times of chaos. You stagnate and get comfortable in times of order. Chaos is painful, but that is when you grow the most. Think back on your life. The times you learned the biggest lessons, where they times of happiness or pain? Find your peace through chaos. Make yourself uncomfortable, that means you're growing and learning.
> 
> 5. Fuck the past. No matter how much money you make, how successful you are, and vice versa, you can't relive yesterday. Learn from it and keep looking forward.
> 
> 6. Value your happiness over all others, unless you have kids. Over mine, over parents, friends and the men in your life. Don't hurt people, but don't sacrafice your own happiness for them.
> 
> 7. You don't need material poessions, status, wealth, or men to make you happy. Happiness is within. Everything else is just extra bonus.
> 
> 8. Be thankful for every good thing that happens to you. This world is pretty ugly at times, and it will shit on you if you let it, but you need to stay strong and not let any of that affect your peace of mind. Focus on the positives, and be thankful every day. Live every day with a full heart.
> 
> 9. Raise the bar and make opportunitites for yourself. Never stop growing and learning. Expect and demand excellence in all areas of yourself. Cultivate a mindset and a lifestyle that is positive, and focused on greater achievement. You are the master of your own destiny, and the only thing that will stop you from creating the life you want is yourself.
> 
> 10. Enter into your fears, and overcome them. Fear is what holds people back. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of abandonment, whatever it is, kill it. When you destroy your fear, you free yourself to a richer way of life. Explore your darkside as well. *
> 
> If you knew a girl. And she was fairly naive for lack of a better term ...
> would you be tempted to corrupt her? (in any way,shape or form). would you do it?
> 
> *I don;t know if corrupt is the right term. I would want to show her other sides to things, and if that awakens parts of her that's fine, and if it dosen't that's fine too.*
> 
> If you had a little sister. And she was fairly naive for lack of a better term ...
> and you found out she had some psychic power. Like predict winning lotto tickets.
> Would this change the dynamic of your relationship? In what way?
> 
> *I would tell her we should be using her powers to advance ourselves and others. Then I would leave the choice up to her. If she wanted to use them, I would use it to aquire wealth, set up my family so we wouldn't have to worry about money again, and continue to use it in postive ways that build up people and communities. *
> 
> If you knew a girl. And she was hardly naive for lack of a better term ...
> Would you trust her?



*Yeah. More so than I would a naieve girl. It means she (like myself) has probably weighed all the options of a scenario, especially the darker ones. It means she has no illusions as to the true nature of things. It makes her more trustworthy in my opinion because she's not coming at situations with rose tinted glasses. *


----------



## petite libellule

Is there a difference between common sense and street smart?

do you think someone who is intelligent but lacks experience is naive?

how bad ass of a paper airplane can you make? 
like, if you were to make one RIGHT NOW - how far would it sail in the air?

How long can you hold your breathe?

What cures the hiccups?

:laughing::kitteh:* You guys are awesome! *


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> If you had a little sister. And she was fairly naive for lack of a better term ...
> what 10 things would you tell her about the world so she could watch out for herself?


Coincidentally I do have a little sister, so this is pretty much advice I've given to her already.

1) Everyone lies.
2) No one will think about you before themselves.
3) Your life is your own, you shouldn't spend it living for other people.
4) You should never feel like you've missed an opportunity, if there's something you want to do you should do it.
5) Good friends last a long time, so pick them wisely.



> If you knew a girl. And she was fairly naive for lack of a better term ...
> would you be tempted to corrupt her? (in any way,shape or form). would you do it?


For one reason or another older men love giving me advice about women. One thing I've heard them say over and over is that "it's easier to "corrupt" a good girl than fix a bad one." Which I guess if we're stereotyping would make a bit of sense. I however do not have the energy or interest to remodel a person to my own liking, I'd rather seek out someone else.



> If you had a little sister. And she was fairly naive for lack of a better term ...
> and you found out she had some psychic power. Like predict winning lotto tickets.
> Would this change the dynamic of your relationship? In what way?


Where do you come up with these questions?

I don't think anything will change.



> If you knew a girl. And she was hardly naive for lack of a better term ...
> Would you trust her?


You should always be weary about who you'll trust.


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> Where do you come up with these questions?


-_- me head is a deep ocean of ... stuff ...


----------



## 2eng

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Is there a difference between common sense and street smart?
> 
> I say there is a difference. I would say someone has street smarts if they are good with people or getting what they want. I would say it's like knowing what people want to hear. Common sense is knowing how simple everyday life works imo.
> 
> do you think someone who is intelligent but lacks experience is naive?
> 
> No not necessarily. I do think though that intelligent people with little experience tend to be more flexible or accommodating, which may come off as naive.
> 
> how bad ass of a paper airplane can you make?
> like, if you were to make one RIGHT NOW - how far would it sail in the air?
> 
> I can make some pretty sweet paper airplanes. I can make ones that fly far or ones that do tricks in the air.
> 
> How long can you hold your breathe?
> 
> Im not too sure, like 1.5-2 minutes :/
> 
> What cures the hiccups?
> 
> 
> :laughing::kitteh:* You guys are awesome! *


Ironically for me... holding my breathe.

Sorry for the formatting and difficulty in reading... I'm posting from my phone.


----------



## petite libellule

2eng said:


> _I can make some pretty sweet paper airplanes. I can make ones that fly far or ones that do tricks in the air._


  omg I'm so excited !!! I would SO beg you to make me a paper airplane! 
in public of course ... it's not that I enjoy putting men under pressure but, ya know. 
It's much funner that way .. :tongue:

I can only hold my breath for 58 sec  
you win.


----------



## JaySH

ningsta kitty said:


> is there a difference between common sense and street smart?
> Yes and know...you can have common sense without street smarts but you cannot have street smarts without both common and uncommon sense.
> Do you think someone who is intelligent but lacks experience is naive?
> 
> *Typically but not always. Some have a 6th sense negating the need for experience. *
> 
> how bad ass of a paper airplane can you make?
> Like, if you were to make one right now - how far would it sail in the air?
> 
> *I am the paper airplane king...like, with 20lb paper and 2 paper clips i could make one that would fly the distance between me and chicago (when taking scale into account, of course).*
> 
> how long can you hold your breathe?
> 
> *I often hold it during sex so...quite some time. I've held it during the entire deed so...at least 90 seconds
> ...ummm...jk :/*
> 
> what cures the hiccups?
> 
> *Drinking a carbonated beverage with my head upside down (swear it works every time).*
> 
> :laughing::kitteh:* you guys are awesome!
> *
> *Yes...yes we are *


* ..*


----------



## Wellsy

Enfpleasantly said:


> What did you feel/think when you heard about the shooting in Ct?


This is going to make me sound terrible, but not too much.
I thought of the many terrible thoughts and feelings that the parents must've felt, actually I first brought it up to my mother as I heard her in the morning tell my father but I was pretty sleepy.
So I woke up and she told me about it, my initial thought was, because she told me he shot himself, that the parents might have a hard time in finding a kind of justice.
They've lost their child to this guy, he killed them in cold blood and now they can't even have him suffer in a cell somewhere. They can't find out why he did it, theres not much closure with him being dead.
Also then thought of how this isn't something one ever gets over, but only gets used to. I can imagine this is going to destroy some couples/families. I can't imagine what it'd be like to lose a daughter or son, im not sure i'd even want to try.

So I can't really empathize too well with the situation because im detached and I don't want to try and feel what the children, teachers, parents and killer felt. 
I was slightly moved with one woman who hid kids in closet and when gunman came in, he asked where they were and she said the Gym and he then shot her and left. So at least she saved those kids.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Wellsy said:


> This is going to make me sound terrible, but not too much.
> I thought of the many terrible thoughts and feelings that the parents must've felt, actually I first brought it up to my mother as I heard her in the morning tell my father but I was pretty sleepy.
> So I woke up and she told me about it, my initial thought was, because she told me he shot himself, that the parents might have a hard time in finding a kind of justice.
> They've lost their child to this guy, he killed them in cold blood and now they can't even have him suffer in a cell somewhere. They can't find out why he did it, theres not much closure with him being dead.
> Also then thought of how this isn't something one ever gets over, but only gets used to. I can imagine this is going to destroy some couples/families. I can't imagine what it'd be like to lose a daughter or son, im not sure i'd even want to try.
> 
> So I can't really empathize too well with the situation because im detached and I don't want to try and feel what the children, teachers, parents and killer felt.
> I was slightly moved with one woman who hid kids in closet and when gunman came in, he asked where they were and she said the Gym and he then shot her and left. So at least she saved those kids.


Yes, I can't think about her without fighting back tears...to think that she protected them with her life. The way I see it is, the darkness in this world will never overshadow the light.


----------



## 7rr7s

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Is there a difference between common sense and street smart?
> 
> *Yeah definatley. Common sense is not going to a shady part of the city to buy beer when you are underage. Street smart is going there looking like you've just killed a man and are buying a beer to celebrate. You don't get carded or fucked with. XD *
> 
> do you think someone who is intelligent but lacks experience is naive?
> 
> *Not nescesarrily, although the more experiences you expose yourself to, the less naive you are prone to be.*
> 
> how bad ass of a paper airplane can you make?
> like, if you were to make one RIGHT NOW - how far would it sail in the air?
> 
> *LOL. Work is slow, so I had to experiment with this. I completely forgot how to make one, so mine turned out looking more like a boat, or some sort of advanced fighter jet. It made it about 3 feet before crash landing straight into a box. XD You are brilliant.*
> 
> How long can you hold your breathe?
> 
> *I tried this once, and I think my record was close to 5 minutes. I also have asthma and smoke occasionally, so I'm not sure how this affects the results.*
> 
> What cures the hiccups?
> 
> :laughing::kitteh:*
> 
> Aside from holding your breath, someone told me some sneaky trick that actually worked, but sadly I forgot it.  My answer, if I had to guess, would be oral sex. Oral sex solves everything. XD
> 
> You guys are awesome! *


----------



## Wellsy

Ningsta Kitty said:


> If you had a little sister. And she was fairly naive for lack of a better term ...
> what 10 things would you tell her about the world so she could watch out for herself?
> *1. Look at their actions and see if they contradict their words to judge their character
> **2. Combat cynicism with realistic positives, cynicism is intellectual cowardice
> 3**. If you you're in danger and you need to get away, punch them in the throat
> **4. Not every guy is honorable, not every guy is terrible
> **5. Do not put the responsibility of happiness on someone elses shoulders, that's your responsibility, others are just a bonus
> **6. When things don't feel right, do what does feel right. Even when fear would muddy your thoughts, do it. Do what most people are too afraid to do.
> **7. Look at the possibilities for conclusions, don't simply think because it sounds plausible that it's true, many of the things people believe are only popular myths perpetuated by their own ignorance.
> **8. Look for the good in every person, but when you're hurt don't let emotions destroy your ability to rationalize if they're worth it. The people who can hurt you the most are the ones you care about the most.
> **9. Don't be afraid to be hurt sometimes, you got to risk yourself by putting out there the things you usually dont share. This builds a intimacy, a trust between you and an individual and its something every human requires to bond. To share their shame and insecurities to become closer.
> **10. When you feel there's no where to turn to, remember, im a phone call away. *
> 
> If you knew a girl. And she was fairly naive for lack of a better term ...
> would you be tempted to corrupt her? (in any way,shape or form). would you do it?
> *​Nope, but I suppose some of the things that were once shocking to me might be fairly casual with myself, so even in just behaving normally might still have an effect. Say met a girl never drank alcohol before, had strict parents, authoritarian sort, go to a party and she's shocked that you drink and are getting drunk. I might let her taste a drink at most but I wouldn't really be like HERE HAVE ALL THE BEERS AND VODKAS. Thats just reckless. I dont really intend on changing people.*
> 
> If you had a little sister. And she was fairly naive for lack of a better term ...
> and you found out she had some psychic power. Like predict winning lotto tickets.
> Would this change the dynamic of your relationship? In what way?
> *I would hope to help in being responsible and not abusing her powers. They say with power comes responsibility because its true, you can't be reckless with power or there are consequences. Other than that, I would hope she doesn't interfere with my life too much though I might accept some help in terms of avoiding bad things.*
> 
> If you knew a girl. And she was hardly naive for lack of a better term ...
> Would you trust her?


*Trust her with what? Knowledge about me, well i'd have to judge her character, some people can't be trusted with intimate knowledge.*


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Do you think there is any correlation between penis size and shoe size? 

Would you prefer a woman who combats aging (dying grey hair, Botox, etc.) or a woman who ages naturally? 

What do you think about women who are very passionate in general? Annoying? Attractive? 

Is there a certain female voice you prefer? 

Is there a hair and eye color you prefer, or notice you tend to be attracted to more? 

On a woman, do you prefer au natural, trim, or bald down...there? 

What's your favorite car?


----------



## singinbluebird

How did you decide your wife was the one (the one you wanted to marry and commit to/spend the rest of your life with)?

When a man loves a woman, how does he show it? How can a woman know he is serious about her?

Do men think of love/romance as much of women? (probably not lol) But if they do, what do they think of?


----------



## Wellsy

Enfpleasantly said:


> Do you think there is any correlation between penis size and shoe size?
> *Nope, i'm average and my feet are for some reason rather large for my height. People have tendency to remark about how large my feet look on me. They're about a size 12 Men's US I think. *
> 
> Would you prefer a woman who combats aging (dying grey hair, Botox, etc.) or a woman who ages naturally?
> *I'm fine with them dying their hair if they like, but naturally. The botox part especially puts me off, no no no. Accept that you're getting older. Getting older doesn't necessarily make one ugly, theres older women who really pull it off in their looks still.*
> 
> What do you think about women who are very passionate in general? Annoying? Attractive?
> *Passion is always attractive, man or woman. It jacks us up to hear a person talk about things they love.
> **Though I wouldn't say im a passionate man, the times i've gotten excited about a topic, girls have remarked they enjoy it when they know i'm all perked up over something as i'm not too easy to get such a response out of, so they feel they've accomplished something.*
> 
> Is there a certain female voice you prefer?
> *I've heard squeaky girls, heard girls with deeper voices as if they got a cold, either way. I dig it
> I suppose theres a novelty side to it, often people enjoy voices that are very personable. Voices that stand out, even accents are greatly enjoyed. *
> 
> Is there a hair and eye color you prefer, or notice you tend to be attracted to more?
> *Nope, I enjoy the lot. Redheads, blondes, brunettes, black hair blue eyes, hazel or brown. I did once think I liked brown eyes more than blue because they sort of melt into the pupil and looks softer but then i see a girl with blue eyes and think they look awesome too. I like eyes. For hair its not so much the colour as the style perhaps.
> **Sometimes it's really amazing when you see a girl on one fo those nights they dress up and they have their hair down and they've done something to make it wavey.*
> 
> On a woman, do you prefer au natural, trim, or bald down...there?
> *I can't say I know in a practical sense but I think i'd enjoy all three really. I suppose if she wanted me to go down on her I want her to at least be trim but then again i've not experienced that kind of thing to make a final judgement*
> 
> What's your favorite car?


*hhhmm I'm not much of a motorhead, here in Aus we tend to love our Fords and Holdens.
Affordable middle class car with a lot of power whilest also having a comfortable interior. I always liked the look of retro cars, some being like old cameros and mustangs. To random cars of the 1950's. But I suppose I like the car we have though it could be cooler as a V8. 
A Ford XR6 Turbo.
*


----------



## android654

Enfpleasantly said:


> Do you think there is any correlation between penis size and shoe size?


Is this some roundabout way of asking my shoe size? It's 12.5 in sneakers btw, 12 in boots.



> Would you prefer a woman who combats aging (dying grey hair, Botox, etc.) or a woman who ages naturally?


It depends on what the end result is.



> What do you think about women who are very passionate in general? Annoying? Attractive?


I'm a fan of passion in general, what a person is passionate about and how it manifests itself is what would make it annoying or endearing.



> Is there a certain female voice you prefer?


Slightly deep and raspy. They're both good examples of what I was trying to get at.








> Is there a hair and eye color you prefer, or notice you tend to be attracted to more?


Dark hair. Red, auburn, dark brown, black, jet black, or anything dyed darker than any natural hue. I'm really fond of grey colored eyes and dark greens.



> On a woman, do you prefer au natural, trim, or bald down...there?


Less is better, the skin on my face is sensitive and I'll get irritated very easily.



> What's your favorite car?


I prefer bikes.


----------



## 2eng

Ningsta Kitty said:


> omg I'm so excited !!! I would SO beg you to make me a paper airplane!
> in public of course ... it's not that I enjoy putting men under pressure but, ya know.
> It's much funner that way .. :tongue:
> 
> I can only hold my breath for 58 sec
> you win.


Haha, I don't bend easily under pressure... You can't make paper airplanes at all?

I'll give the holding the breathe thing a try and time it (it's been a while since I have actually tried) so, don't claim loss yet


----------



## wiarumas

In quote



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Is there a difference between common sense and street smart?
> 
> *street smarts is an understanding of the world through experience. They learned how things work just by living life and picking it up on the streets. Common sense is the innate ability to understand simple concepts. *
> 
> do you think someone who is intelligent but lacks experience is naive?
> 
> *not always. A person who is intelligent can sometimes pick things up in real time. *
> 
> how bad ass of a paper airplane can you make?
> 
> *i can make a couple cool ones. Nothing too crazy though.*
> 
> like, if you were to make one RIGHT NOW - how far would it sail in the air?
> 
> *10 yards or so maybe?*
> 
> How long can you hold your breathe?
> 
> *maybe about a minute. Haven't tried in a long time. Maybe I'll time myself someday in the near future. *
> 
> What cures the hiccups?
> 
> *i typically chug a glass of water and try to swallow a lot of air while doing it*
> 
> :laughing::kitteh:* You guys are awesome! *


----------



## wiarumas

In quote. 



Enfpleasantly said:


> Do you think there is any correlation between penis size and shoe size?
> 
> *no, I think there isn't much of a correlation between any of those things: shoes, hands, etc. *
> 
> Would you prefer a woman who combats aging (dying grey hair, Botox, etc.) or a woman who ages naturally?
> 
> *depends on what she looks like and how well she ages*
> 
> What do you think about women who are very passionate in general? Annoying? Attractive?
> 
> *i don't mind it. It brings a nice balance to me. As long as she isn't too passionate. *
> 
> Is there a certain female voice you prefer?
> 
> *not really. I like when she sounds intelligent/classy. Nothing obnoxious. Some foreign accents are nice too. *
> 
> Is there a hair and eye color you prefer, or notice you tend to be attracted to more?
> 
> *nope. I like blondes, brunette, and the combinations of both. I like redheads if its more of an auburn color. I like green and blue eyes (and hazel). Not confined to these though. *
> 
> On a woman, do you prefer au natural, trim, or bald down...there?
> 
> *i like change. If its natural for a while, suddenly a trim is a turn on. Then shaved is hot. Then natural. Etc. as long as things aren't too sloppy down there. *
> 
> What's your favorite car?
> 
> *probably the 911 GT3*


----------



## 7rr7s

Enfpleasantly said:


> Do you think there is any correlation between penis size and shoe size? *I'm not sure. I used to think so, but then I heard somewhere that it was a myth, but I really don't know. My one foot is slightly bigger than the other, so I'm not really sure how that translates to my cock. *
> 
> Would you prefer a woman who combats aging (dying grey hair, Botox, etc.) or a woman who ages naturally? *Probably a little of both, but I'd lean towards the aging naturally part. I never really liked the look of botox and some women go really overboard with it. Hair lightening I can see though. Older women can be very attractive as they age, and I don't think they really need to do much to look younger as long as they stay healthy and take care of themselves. *
> 
> What do you think about women who are very passionate in general? Annoying? Attractive? *AMAZING! Passionate people are always fun to be around. Although I guess it could depend on what it is she's passionate about. Raising insects, dog fights, scat, meth, ect. would probably not be so fun to deal with.*
> 
> Is there a certain female voice you prefer? *Deep, but feminine if that makes sense. If her voice is deeper than mine though, I might check for an adams apple. Edit: Accents! Accents are a huge turn on. I love hearing a woman sing too.*
> 
> Is there a hair and eye color you prefer, or notice you tend to be attracted to more? *Brunettes! I love dark hair, I just want to like bite it or something haha. That makes no sense. But yeah I find myself being very attracted to brunettes. Blondes are allright too, all of my girlfriends have been blonde. Redheads rule too. I like brown eyes the best, but it doesn't really matter. I also like it when her eyes are kind of blue. *
> 
> On a woman, do you prefer au natural, trim, or bald down...there? *Bald or landing strip preferably. *
> 
> What's your favorite car?


 *I'm not really into cars. Anything American made really, just not big cars like trucks or SUVs. And nothing green. *


----------



## unINFalliPle

Do you spend time on your physical appearance?

I know there are a lot of female beauty products and fashion. I feel like it's a little limited to guys. Do you feel that it is?


----------



## searcheagle

unINFalliPle said:


> Do you spend time on your physical appearance?


Yes. About 5 minutes per week. 

Actually, that may be high. Unless we're counting shaving time. So, I guess about 5 minutes per day. lol. 





> I know there are a lot of female beauty products and fashion. I feel like it's a little limited to guys. Do you feel that it is?


Well, I guess it is limited in comparison. But the other question is: do you really care? I really don't.


----------



## 2eng

unINFalliPle said:


> Do you spend time on your physical appearance?
> 
> I spend time on my apperance. I wouldn't say it's excessive but hey, I like to look good. Obviously it also depends on where I'm going as to how much time I spend.
> 
> I know there are a lot of female beauty products and fashion. I feel like it's a little limited to guys. Do you feel that it is?


I would say that there is quite a bit of stuff out there if you take the time to find it, fashion and products wise. I do have to say though, I really like a nice form cut suit!


----------



## wiarumas

unINFalliPle said:


> Do you spend time on your physical appearance?
> 
> I know there are a lot of female beauty products and fashion. I feel like it's a little limited to guys. Do you feel that it is?


Of course. I work out, shave, cut nails, get frequent haircuts, put hair gel in, etc. I'm not putting 5 different hair products in my hair an using 10 different types of moisturizer, but I do a reasonable amount. 

I don't think guys believe in that kind of marketing. We are skeptical even what our SOs use. We just don't say anything. Even if it did work, not enough for us to go buy it.

And there is plenty of man fashion out there. Just look at GQ for example. It's much smaller though because we tend not to buy as much as women. We don't fluctuate in weight as much and when we gain 2 inches in the midsection, we can still wear the same outfits. This isn't mentioning how men's clothing seems to be more durable and lasts longer.


----------



## Jennywocky

I don't know if anyone asked yet, but I'll ask since it kind of surfaced in the "woman" thread:

How do you view your male friends? What do you want out of those relationships -- for example, if you had to list the top three things you get out of a friendship with another guy, what would you list?

EDIT: And, if you have female friends, do you expect/want the same things out of those friendships, or do you naturally look for different things, and what are they?


----------



## downsowf

unINFalliPle said:


> Do you spend time on your physical appearance?
> 
> I know there are a lot of female beauty products and fashion. I feel like it's a little limited to guys. Do you feel that it is?


I'm a shoe whore and a jacket whore. I don't feel like the fashion is limited. There's a lot of stuff out there. 

Physical appearance: sometimes I like to sport a beard and other times I want to be clean-shaven. I like to change it up. I amuse myself.


----------



## 2eng

Jennywocky said:


> I don't know if anyone asked yet, but I'll ask since it kind of surfaced in the "woman" thread:
> 
> How do you view your male friends? What do you want out of those relationships -- for example, if you had to list the top three things you get out of a friendship with another guy, what would you list?


I have a couple of friends that I call "good" friends. I wouldn't say I get much out of them though, other than some fun times.



> EDIT: And, if you have female friends, do you expect/want the same things out of those friendships, or do you naturally look for different things, and what are they?


I would say I tend to have the "deeper" conversations with female friends than I do with male friends. This is not aways the case but in general it holds true.


----------



## wiarumas

In quote 



Jennywocky said:


> I don't know if anyone asked yet, but I'll ask since it kind of surfaced in the "woman" thread:
> 
> How do you view your male friends?
> 
> *i view them as fellow men I have something in common with and can hang out with. *
> 
> What do you want out of those relationships -- for example, if you had to list the top three things you get out of a friendship with another guy, what would you list?
> 
> *good times, a wingman, and professional networking*
> 
> EDIT: And, if you have female friends, do you expect/want the same things out of those friendships, or do you naturally look for different things, and what are they?
> 
> *the only noteworthy difference is i tend to get them to provide single friends/access to other females like an undercover role.*


----------



## downsowf

Jennywocky said:


> I don't know if anyone asked yet, but I'll ask since it kind of surfaced in the "woman" thread:
> 
> How do you view your male friends? What do you want out of those relationships -- for example, if you had to list the top three things you get out of a friendship with another guy, what would you list?
> 
> EDIT: And, if you have female friends, do you expect/want the same things out of those friendships, or do you naturally look for different things, and what are they?


Male friends: no drama, good conversation, and no drama

Female friends: no drama, good conversation, and no drama.


----------



## Jennywocky

@_wiarumas_: Lolz over the "undercover" thing, you big sneak.  But highly effective!

@_downsowf_: Uh, what was that part about "no drama" again? But I've noticed guys don't seem to much like drama (not that I do either -- it's one of my less favorite things about associating with other women, where social drama is more likely).
*
*


----------



## android654

Jennywocky said:


> How do you view your male friends? What do you want out of those relationships -- for example, if you had to list the top three things you get out of a friendship with another guy, what would you list?


Real friends are essentially the family you forge as an adult. Loyalty, honesty and reliability are the three most important qualities you can get out of a person and a friend with these will stick by your side, tell you when you're in the wrong and help you pick up the pieces when you fall apart.



> EDIT: And, if you have female friends, do you expect/want the same things out of those friendships, or do you naturally look for different things, and what are they?


I look for the exact same things. That combination of qualities is rare, it's even difficult to find any one present in one person all of the time.


----------



## downsowf

Jennywocky said:


> @_downsowf_: Uh, what was that part about "no drama" again?
> *
> *


Oh, sorry  I should clarify that: no drama.


----------



## wiarumas

Lol


----------



## petite libellule

Could you name at least 5 qualities that a man HAS to have in order to be considered a "good man". 

Note: I'm not talking about a fish or trophy "he's a catch" bullshit. 

Just, what makes a man a _good man_. Another man that you'd respect and admire ...


----------



## downsowf

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Could you name at least 5 qualities that a man HAS to have in order to be considered a "good man".
> 
> Note: I'm not talking about a fish or trophy "he's a catch" bullshit.
> 
> Just, what makes a man a _good man_. Another man that you'd respect and admire ...


1. Loyal
2. Honest
3. Has convictions
4. Kind-hearted
5. Personable
5. Dreamy Eyes
5. Gives me piggy-back rides
5. Holds an umbrella over my head when it rains


----------



## 7rr7s

unINFalliPle said:


> Do you spend time on your physical appearance?
> 
> I know there are a lot of female beauty products and fashion. I feel like it's a little limited to guys. Do you feel that it is?


Yeah I work out; not as much as I used to but I'm starting to get back into that. I use silk drops in my hair to give it a shine, and I wear cologne on a night out. I allways dress to impress. That's about it. 



Jennywocky said:


> I don't know if anyone asked yet, but I'll ask since it kind of surfaced in the "woman" thread:
> 
> How do you view your male friends? What do you want out of those relationships -- for example, if you had to list the top three things you get out of a friendship with another guy, what would you list?
> 
> EDIT: And, if you have female friends, do you expect/want the same things out of those friendships, or do you naturally look for different things, and what are they?


Male friends are your boys; they got your back and you got theirs. I can have fun around them, and not worry about women or work or the grind of every day life. I enjoy talking with them about intelligent things, and interests. Some I talk politics with, others music, or philosophy or just shoot the shit. Most times I don't even need to talk, just hanging out with them is enough to bond. We could just sit and smoke cigars and have a drink and watch the game or whatever. Of course, there's always more practical things, like advice if they are knowledgeable in a certain area like money or business or something I want to learn. Above all, I enjoy their company and their loyalty. We also keep each other in check and support one another in our visions. 

For female friends I enjoy bonding, but I can be more emotional around them, whereas this will wierd alot of guys out. Sometimes I need encouragement, or just someone to talk to if I am beginning to doubt myself or what I am capable of, and they are allways there to remind me of that. Sometimes they bring it out of me, and I don't even have to ask. They also inspire me, as all women do, to be a better man. Of course, like my male friends, they do have practical uses too, like if I have questions relating to women or fashion or something. They overall have a different energy to them than males do, and I like that about them.


----------



## petite libellule

downsowf said:


> 5. Holds an umbrella over my head when it rains


 Agreed! 

Not so sure what a grown man giving another grown man a piggy back ride would look like. *envisions it* 

yeah. Not doing it for me. lol! :tongue:


----------



## 7rr7s

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Could you name at least 5 qualities that a man HAS to have in order to be considered a "good man".
> 
> Note: I'm not talking about a fish or trophy "he's a catch" bullshit.
> 
> Just, what makes a man a _good man_. Another man that you'd respect and admire ...


1. Is honest, brutally honest with himself and with others. He never says what he dosen't mean and he doesn't bullshit. He never fakes anything and never tries to be something he is not.

2. He knows what he wants, and goes after it with vigor and without hesitation; he dosen't wait for permission or the right time, or opportunity -he makes his own opportunities.

3. He engages the world and the people in it in a way that is passionate, positive and bold; he has a robust spirit and instills in him and in others feelings of positivity and integrity.

3. He never stops learning or growing or pushing himself; and demands and expects excellence in himself, in others, and in all areas of his life.

4. He is loving to everyone, but especially to those less fortunate. 

5. He is protective and loyal to the ones he cares about, to his ideals and values, but most importantly to himself.


----------



## downsowf

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Agreed!
> 
> Not so sure what a grown man giving another grown man a piggy back ride would look like. *envisions it*
> 
> yeah. Not doing it for me. lol! :tongue:


Or feel like… I imagine a pressed sac agains the back of the head not feeling too great. especially when i wear my gold glittered speedo.


----------



## On the road to Damascus

To OP - this "manswers" thread is amazing...:happy:

My line of inquiry is about how you reacted to the death of someone who was close to you (e.g. parent, sibling, close friend, child) and the grieving process/journey that you took::sad:

Were you around to experience watching a loved one pass away? 
How did you deal with the grief? Did you reach out to was it something that you experienced very personally and privately? 
How did the death of a loved one change your outlook on your own life? 

(Disclaimer - my father passed away 2 weeks ago after a lengthy battle with cancer so I am just curious how men deal with alot of these stages of grief...I was observing how my dad was reacting to the inevitability of his disease...he was able to maintain his dignity until the end and we did get to a state of grace but the road was definitely interesting getting to this place.)


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Could you name at least 5 qualities that a man HAS to have in order to be considered a "good man".
> 
> Note: I'm not talking about a fish or trophy "he's a catch" bullshit.
> 
> Just, what makes a man a _good man_. Another man that you'd respect and admire ...


Trustworthy - a man is only as good as he is to his word
experienced - not in a job, but in life. 
wise - learned for his experiences
successful - learned to capitalize on his experience
sense of humor - still human

Pretty sure I'm describing the dos Equis man.


----------



## searcheagle

KindOfBlue06 said:


> Yeah I work out; not as much as I used to but I'm starting to get back into that.


Oh, if we're supposed to include work out time, that ups my time considerably. Cause I have been working out to lower my weight.

I spend about 4 hours per week on work outs.

You're welcome, Ladies.


----------



## wiarumas

On the road to Damascus said:


> To OP - this "manswers" thread is amazing...:happy:
> 
> My line of inquiry is about how you reacted to the death of someone who was close to you (e.g. parent, sibling, close friend, child) and the grieving process/journey that you took::sad:
> 
> Were you around to experience watching a loved one pass away?
> How did you deal with the grief? Did you reach out to was it something that you experienced very personally and privately?
> How did the death of a loved one change your outlook on your own life?
> 
> (Disclaimer - my father passed away 2 weeks ago after a lengthy battle with cancer so I am just curious how men deal with alot of these stages of grief...I was observing how my dad was reacting to the inevitability of his disease...he was able to maintain his dignity until the end and we did get to a state of grace but the road was definitely interesting getting to this place.)


Well, there is no set man way for this. I don't mind generalizing some things but I bet this is all across the board. Honestly, I start grieving early in almost a pessimistic way. They don't have much time left. I try not to let myself have false hope. If they hang on for a long time, good. But I try to prepare myself before their death.

I had 2 deaths that were close to me. One was around thanksgiving last month. I'm not upset about it. For her, it was a long demise and to me, she was dead/dying for a while. So when it finally happened, it felt like a relief. She wasn't mentally there, so there was no quality of life. 

The other, was unexpected. I had no time to mentally prepare. That one was hard on me. I didn't grieve or mourn or anything. Just felt gloomy for a bit. Time heals everything and in time things improve. 

I wouldn't say it really had an impact on my perspective as I already had a pretty good view of my own mortality to begin with. The most difficult part is when the person dying, does not.


----------



## 2eng

searcheagle said:


> Oh, if we're supposed to include work out time, that ups my time considerably. Cause I have been working out to lower my weight.
> 
> I spend about 4 hours per week on work outs.
> 
> You're welcome, Ladies.


Well me too then... I didn't know this was part of it either.


----------



## Life.Is.A.Game

Hello @wiarumas , I have a few questions as well...

1. My 3 past relationships have been sexless, because of the guys. They want sex in the beginning, for a month and then it slows down to once or twice a week, and then I end up getting in fights with them about it. I'm pretty sure I"m good in bed (from what I've heard, guys talking about me to each other), and I like to do all kinds of things, I'm not inhibited, I'm very touchy feely, cuddly, and i'm open to it all. So what has been the problem? Is it me? Or is them? Although I'm a very confident person, this has made me pretty insecure about entering another relationship, because sex to me is an important part of a relationship. 

2. Do you think long distance relationships can last? What are your thoughts on that?

3. You said guys are usually simpler then girls, and I agree with that, however, do you think "feeler type" guys are more complicated then "thinker type" gals? Does your wife seem complicated (meaning, girl-like) or simpler... because of her thinking type...

4. What do you think will happen at the end of this year (2012)? World ending, era changing... what? 

5. How does a girl know for sure if her SO loves her? Are there any subtle signs you can think of that we don't see, or specific examples you can name that would say "for sure if he does THAT it means he loves you".. 

That's all for now. Good luck to you. More coming soon...


----------



## JaySH

Life.Is.A.Game said:


> Hello @_wiarumas_ , I have a few questions as well...
> 
> 1. My 3 past relationships have been sexless, because of the guys. They want sex in the beginning, for a month and then it slows down to once or twice a week, and then I end up getting in fights with them about it. I'm pretty sure I"m good in bed (from what I've heard, guys talking about me to each other), and I like to do all kinds of things, I'm not inhibited, I'm very touchy feely, cuddly, and i'm open to it all. So what has been the problem? Is it me? Or is them? Although I'm a very confident person, this has made me pretty insecure about entering another relationship, because sex to me is an important part of a relationship.
> 
> 2. Do you think long distance relationships can last? What are your thoughts on that?
> 
> 3. You said guys are usually simpler then girls, and I agree with that, however, do you think "feeler type" guys are more complicated then "thinker type" gals? Does your wife seem complicated (meaning, girl-like) or simpler... because of her thinking type...
> 
> 4. What do you think will happen at the end of this year (2012)? World ending, era changing... what?
> 
> 5. How does a girl know for sure if her SO loves her? Are there any subtle signs you can think of that we don't see, or specific examples you can name that would say "for sure if he does THAT it means he loves you"..
> 
> That's all for now. Good luck to you. More coming soon...


Well, I'm not him but, I have thoughts to share 

1. My guess would be they are intimidated by your uninhibitedness and the would never admit that. Guys often like to feel control and a sense of empowerment in/from sex....And we all like the hunt...the thrill of the fight to get it. If you just say " sex, now...okay", it takes away that thrill. Play hard to get...a little. Not for days...or even a day...but for hours. Make them try and fail...then, when they think "...all hope is just...lost", pursue them! If that doesn't work...maybe they are confused about their sexual orientation and...females aren't what they are looking for. 

2. I wasn't sure but, given a very, very special someone I "met" and became friends with in August/September, I know they can as long as both are willing to try and be positive. Love knows no distance. That said, would it work for you? You said in question 1. (And I don't disagree) that sex is important in a relationship....long distance that's tough. For me, trusting that person and thinking about seeing her for the first time/ in ages is more than enough. That and talking eachother's ears off! 

3. I don't agree guys are simpler...some just portray themselves to be. We deal with many of the same torments women do but we express and share it differently/less. As far as feeler vs thinker...well...the OP would prob be better at answering that.

4. I don't know but am not worried. 12-21-2012 means nothing to me....except it's the start of winter. 12-25-12,12-27-12,1-2-13 and, most importantly, 1-17-13 are dates with importance to me. We'll see what happens I suppose. 

5. Good question....there is no secret way I know of though. Just pay attention to the little things and don't take them for granted....often that is where it is displyed.


----------



## Wellsy

Life.Is.A.Game said:


> Disclaimer, still young and naive
> 
> 1. This I straight up have no idea, no life experience nor theoretical perspective on why, that is a real smash head into the wall screaming "why!" kind of thing. Maybe they were excited at the start and then the novelty wore off, i really dont know hahaha That's not to insult your appeal as a woman as that would lay the issue with the men you've dated.
> 
> 2. Yes, I do think physical side is a big leg up, sex is a bonding experience with the brain chemicals and all that. Then you can do more than that with kisses, hugs and all that fun stuff. Then you can just be there, I sometimes imagine i'd enjoy just silence with a person, having that person around not necessarily engaging them would have me in a good mood. You can't do that with a LDR exactly. Look at each other on a webcam as you both ignore each other and browse just isnt the same.
> There are dedicated people out there, so yes it can work if both are determined and they do actually fit well with one another.
> 
> 3. People are generally complicated, I say this because even in trying to solve the thought process of a 'simpleton' isn't simple. The mind is a big ole mess hahaha I do think that some people make things more complicated than they have to be. Like the jokes about a woman saying "if you dont know why im angry im not telling you", that kind of attitude is just fucking childish and doesn't solve anything. That makes ti a whole lot more draining and complex because the situation isn't direct as heres the problem lets talk. Got moody brick wall hahaha
> 
> 4. Life will progress as it always has, not stopping for anyone. The business men will go to their offices, the tradies to their work sites, the children to their schools, people will die, babies be born and the whole shabang will flow.
> 
> 5. There is no guarantee and thats what scares a lot of people I think. How scary is it to say to a person for the first time "I love you" not knowing if they will say it back. That's really stepping out there, those words with their true intent, carry a lot of weight. That vulnerbility is what makes it worth while, makes it exciting, makes it a human experience. Because you can't tell, you just got to play each person by ear because theres no real guide to people. Just looka t this site, we have this common language through MBTI but even this personality test is too open to accuracy problems because as before, people arne't simple. Theres not been an objective way of determining people, you can compile similarities and predict pretty well but it's all still pretty messy.
> Just remember that without the risk, none of it would be worth it.


And thats how the cookie crumbles...needed letters outside the quote box


----------



## petite libellule

Do you drink coffee?
Are you a morning person or a night owl?
How old were you when you first learned to tie a tie?


----------



## petite libellule

downsowf said:


> bad kitty!
> 
> if there's one think i never forget it's my nipple tassles and speedo.


*re-opens door* -slowly peeks inside-

OKAY! I Got my camera. Carry on folks ... don't mind me. Pretend as if I'm not even here


----------



## petite libellule

what can you tell me of this so called "seven year itch" ... 
do you believe in it? is it common? what is it exactly? what does it mean? 
ya know ... whatever comes to mind.


----------



## downsowf

Ningsta Kitty said:


> what can you tell me of this so called "seven year itch" ...
> do you believe in it? is it common? what is it exactly? what does it mean?
> ya know ... whatever comes to mind.


bad kitty! 

What can I tell you about it? - seems like a long itch 

Do I believe in it?- any film starring Marilyn Monroe I believe in.

What is it exactly?- umm…something to do with a kitty I believe. not sure. 

what does it mean?- umm…i think it means that the kitty hasn't been fed in a while. not sure about that one either.


----------



## petite libellule

downsowf said:


> Do I believe in it?- any film starring Marilyn Monroe I believe in.


you good sir, have my respect /bows - more like a curtsy


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Ningsta Kitty said:


> AH! An Orgie!
> 
> My Goodness! So eager you are to see ...
> 
> never mind. *backs away. closes door slowly*


Yeah, I thanked it because I thought it was funny...then I realized it could be taken as though I'm cheering for pics, haha!


----------



## petite libellule

Enfpleasantly said:


> Yeah, I thanked it because I thought it was funny...then I realized it could be taken as though I'm cheering for pics, haha!


oh. you mean. you mean cheering for pics is bad? 

*busts out notebook -> requesting dirty pics online = uncouth* GOT IT 

Okay ... what were we talking about again? lol!


----------



## Roland Khan

Ningsta Kitty said:


> AH! An Orgie!
> 
> My Goodness! So eager you are to see ...
> 
> never mind. *backs away. closes door slowly*


Probably a good idea to back away...I'm almost sure you don't want to see what's on the other side of that door.

*Still waiting for those pics....don't you mind the children...


----------



## Up and Away

What do you do if you're addicted to sex


----------



## petite libellule

Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms?

Do you bite the head and limbs off the animals when you eat animal crackers?

Do you switch the heads and limbs about when eating gummy worms?

Are you ever too old to drink capri suns, eat pop rocks or fruit snacks. How about fruit roll ups?


----------



## 2eng

Souled In said:


> What do you do if you're addicted to sex


Probably fuck a lot.


----------



## downsowf

In quote.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms?
> 
> *Sour patch kids.*
> 
> Do you bite the head and limbs off the animals when you eat animal crackers?
> 
> *Fuck ya!*
> 
> Do you switch the heads and limbs about when eating gummy worms?
> 
> *That's just wrong. That question offends me.
> *
> Are you ever too old to drink capri suns, eat pop rocks or fruit snacks. How about fruit roll ups?
> 
> *The day I'm too old to drink capri suns, eat pop rocks or fruit snacks is the day I say no to life. *


----------



## petite libellule

downsowf said:


> _Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms?_
> 
> *Sour patch kids. Fuck Ya!
> 
> Do you bite the head and limbs off the animals when you eat animal crackers?
> 
> Fuck ya! WOO HOO, I'm Normal!
> 
> Do you switch the heads and limbs about when eating gummy worms?
> 
> That's just wrong. That question offends me.
> *


 I meant to say Gummy Bears. I like to create multi colored gummy bears. *insert politically incorrect joke* :/


----------



## petite libellule

What does it mean to be "politically correct" to you?

Any other thoughts on the subject is welcome as well


----------



## downsowf

Ningsta Kitty said:


> I meant to say Gummy Bears. I like to create multi colored gummy bears. *insert politically incorrect joke* :/


If you want to be "normal" then do not compare yourself to me…haha. 

And no- you meant real worms because you think they taste like gummy bears. I'm onto you Dexter -_-


----------



## Roland Khan

downsowf said:


> If you want to be "normal" then do not compare yourself to me…haha.
> 
> And no- you meant real worms because you think they taste like gummy bears. I'm onto you Dexter -_-


You know something about Dexter that I don't?!! Do tell!!! Incase you couldn't tell I'm a huge Dexter fan, lol. I can't belive how they ended it, but of course they did so in order to make us come back next year as if we wouldn't already anyways. Either way, fuck off and I hope you die! Unless of course you prefer gummy bears to worms, because of course then you'd be exempt of any crime you commit in my eyes.....gummy bear appreciation will exempt you from anything as long as you bite off the heads of those damn worms.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Ningsta Kitty said:


> If you had a little sister. And she was fairly naive for lack of a better term ...
> what 10 things would you tell her about the world so she could watch out for herself?


Hmmm this is tough as I don't have a younger sister (and I am sleepy ... but it is way way way too early to be sleepy )

Hmmm, I hope this doesn't sound bad, but she would have to make her own mistakes too ... unless she was about to make a really bad mistake lol.

I hope order does not matter as I am just writing them as I think of them

- Love and forgive yourself
- Be open and understanding ... there is almost always more to a situation than what meets the eye
- Never forget how strong you are, and how strong a smile can be ... and, if there are times where you don't feel you can stand back up, just call me and I will carry you ^__^
- Trust your intuition, if something doesn't feel right, there is a good chance it isn't
- Life hurts sometimes, and sometimes it will change us, but we can choose how it changes us ... Do we become wiser and more understanding? Or do we fear the world instead
- Follow your own values (be a person you respect ... as the only person you have to live with for the rest of your life is yourself), but question them too ... the world isn't so black and white sometimes
- We may want many things in life, but only a few of those things are important ... don't lose sight of what is truly valuable
- Unfortunately, some people are bad news ... learn the warning signs of abuse and abusive relationships ... And controlling, being overly possessive, stalking, manipulation, and a few other things shown in some romantic stories may not be signs of love (perhaps just signs of obsession)
- Don't be afraid to fail ... no one is perfect and as long as you stay true to who you are, I will always be proud of my little sister ^__^
- ..... I have to think of a tenth one




> If you knew a girl. And she was fairly naive for lack of a better term ...
> would you be tempted to corrupt her? (in any way,shape or form). would you do it?


I'll assume girl means a grown woman (otherwise, I might sound like a terrible person)

> Yes //jk 

No, not really ... some "innocent" people have dirty minds which is always fun, but it is never fun to take advantage of someone or get them to do thinks they are not ready, do not want, to do



> If you had a little sister. And she was fairly naive for lack of a better term ...
> and you found out she had some psychic power. Like predict winning lotto tickets.
> Would this change the dynamic of your relationship? In what way?


Yes  //jk

Nah, well I might have to be a little more protective of her. ... If she uses it too much, she might get caught  ... If she uses it at all, it would be a lot like stealing and she might also have a guilty conscious. She might need extra guidance. ... I might not tell her to never use it, but I would probably say tell her that if she does use it, to make sure it is really worth it (like an emergency where someone will die if they don't have this $100,000 surgery and she is broke) and not to use it for herself ... she has her own sense of right and wrong, I might, in the beginning, help her to follow it 



> If you knew a girl. And she was hardly naive for lack of a better term ...
> Would you trust her?


In what way is she not "naive"? ... If she is just experienced, sure why not ... 
If she has done some not so great things in the past, well it might depend on how long ago and how long I know her .... 
If she doesn't trust me, I may wonder if she is projecting or if she may be more inclined to try to "protect" herself by screwing me over - so a limited trust not (not a full trust)




Ningsta Kitty said:


> :laughing::kitteh:* You guys are awesome! *


We know :wink::tongue: 

Thank You ^__^



> do you think someone who is intelligent but lacks experience is naive?


Can be, but not always

“By three methods we may learn wisdom: first, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third, by experience, which is the most bitter.”
- Confucius

I think experience gives us perspective and helps keep us grounded in reality, but I think reflection can compensate for some lack in experience ... I also think listening to stories of those more experienced helps too ... although be aware of what is "fact" and what is their interpretation




Enfpleasantly said:


> Do you think there is any correlation between penis size and shoe size?


Idk ... maybe a weak correlation

*Would you prefer a woman who combats aging (dying grey hair, Botox, etc.) or a woman who ages naturally?* 

I feel like I am too young to answer this lol ... but I think I would prefer the natural aging (age with me )

*What do you think about women who are very passionate in general? Annoying? Attractive? 
*
Usually I find it very attractive, especially if I care about the subject too ... but if there passion is in something that I don't like (and they insist on involving me after I tried it a bunch of times) or goes against my values, then it can be annoying

*Is there a certain female voice you prefer? *

I want to say (singing voice) soprano, but I like alto a lot too ... If I like a woman, I tend to like her voice too

*Is there a hair and eye color you prefer, or notice you tend to be attracted to more? *

I like 'em all

Blue and green eyes are cool ^__^

and brown hair and red hair is a preference too

*On a woman, do you prefer au natural, trim, or bald down...there? *

I think trimmed (with my limited experience) ... but I'm not picky :wink:




singinbluebird said:


> When a man loves a woman, how does he show it? How can a woman know he is serious about her?


Probably depends on the man and his love languages (which I don't know much about) ... I like to say it and show affection.

How do you know? ... Well idk ... I don't know if you can know ... I would say the best guess would be to look at his actions and how he treats you ... Does it look like love and support to you? Or does it look like something else?










*Do men think of love/romance as much of women? (probably not lol) But if they do, what do they think of?
*
You'll be surprised :wink: ... but not as much as I used too (unless I feel very lonely)
Just small things, like cuddle taking walks in a park/at the beach while holding hands, kissing (even just pecks), playing ... groping and sex fantasies too lol ... um ... I used to think about having kids more  (they are just too adorable :blushed
Sometimes I will think about growing old and sharing adventures and life experiences and sharing ideas ... stuff like that




unINFalliPle said:


> Do you spend time on your physical appearance?


Not too much no ... Unless you want to count the months I let my hair grow out and then trim it really short again .... I find it a little boring to have my hair be the same length all year round ... so I have it cute very short and I may let it grow a couple to a few inches (I let it grow a few inches in the winter because I don't like hats, but my head needs some insulation ... although I did not do that this winter because it is too warm)

*I know there are a lot of female beauty products and fashion. I feel like it's a little limited to guys. Do you feel that it is?*

Yeah, that seems to be the case ... there are some guy beauty products, but not as much, I don't think




2eng said:


> I would say that there is quite a bit of stuff out there if you take the time to find it, fashion and products wise. I do have to say though, I really like a nice form cut suit!


For some reason, I really like interesting ties ... I don't know why that is though ... I suppose when I need to look nice I spend more time on my appearance 



Jennywocky said:


> I don't know if anyone asked yet, but I'll ask since it kind of surfaced in the "woman" thread:
> 
> How do you view your male friends? What do you want out of those relationships -- for example, if you had to list the top three things you get out of a friendship with another guy, what would you list?
> 
> EDIT: And, if you have female friends, do you expect/want the same things out of those friendships, or do you naturally look for different things, and what are they?


Really, it depends on the person ... and not the gender ... I get different things from different people ... With some friends we share a common interest in doing something, other friends I may have a deep intellectual connection, and there are friends that are more emotionally supportive. Those three things may come from the same person sometimes, but it does not have too ... I just try to relate with people on any level that I can and that I feel comfortable with ... I suppose a best friend would be someone that we have shared activities with, mutual intellectual curiosities and are understanding and emotionally supportive of each other.




Ningsta Kitty said:


> Could you name at least 5 qualities that a man HAS to have in order to be considered a "good man".
> 
> Note: I'm not talking about a fish or trophy "he's a catch" bullshit.
> 
> Just, what makes a man a _good man_. Another man that you'd respect and admire ...


Well, what makes someone a good person?

I think most people are good, but there "good" and there is good

I thing most people try to do the best that they can and they try not to hurt others while trying to find meaning and positive value in their own lives.


Respect (beyond a basic respect for people in general) and admiration is a whole different thing


* *





http://personalitycafe.com/critical-thinking-philosophy/116087-why-people-hate.html#post2934123


Mr. Meepers said:


> What's you opinion about people who value love more than anything?
> 
> 
> 
> Short answer (since I'm being lazy ): Whether they are fools who value love above all else (an are unaware of the pain they may face) or whether wisdom has made them value love above all else ... those are the people I respect the most .... and I know some there are some "fools" who are blind to other peoples motives ... but if they are trying to love everyone, then I think those "fools" have noble spirits ... and, in time, they may get hurt a lot, but as long as they have a few good friends that love them, I believe they can continue to have that love and warmth ... and I think love for others will help them choose not to become cold and bitter when hurt ... and all the pain will give them the opportunity to make themselves grow wiser and more understanding ... and be able to love more ^__^ ... Okay, my answer was longer than I intended it to be
Click to expand...






"Has to have" is tough to say as I may respect for different people for different reasons ... and what they have to have may not be enough for admiration

- Genuinely cares about others
- Follows their own values
- Can see the good in most others
- Tries to make a difference in other's lives
- Stands up for their values and victims with love and kindness




Ningsta Kitty said:


> Do you drink coffee?
> Are you a morning person or a night owl?
> How old were you when you first learned to tie a tie?


Nope
Night owl ... I gain energy as it gets later ... either that or I'm like a kid that doesn't wanna go to bed yet >.<
18? I think ... My roommate needed to learn how to tie a Full Windsor (and Half Windsor) because he was pledging a fraternity and I had learned it with him
I knew how to tie a tie a simpler way before that, but I like the Full Windsor the most, so I just stick with that.




Enfpleasantly said:


> Yeah, I thanked it because I thought it was funny...then I realized it could be taken as though I'm cheering for pics, haha!


Wait ... You're not :shocked: ... I'm totally cheering for pics 





Ningsta Kitty said:


> Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms?
> 
> Do you bite the head and limbs off the animals when you eat animal crackers?
> 
> Do you switch the heads and limbs about when eating gummy worms?
> 
> Are you ever too old to drink capri suns, eat pop rocks or fruit snacks. How about fruit roll ups?


-Bears (of course)
- Yes
- Sometimes ... although sometimes I bite the heads off first like I do with animal crackers
- No (no one is too old :kitteh, but I don't go out of my way to buy them either



Ningsta Kitty said:


> I meant to say Gummy Bears. I like to create multi colored gummy bears. *insert politically incorrect joke* :/


Oh I did not even notice the third question said gummy worms lol

As a kid I loved frogs ... and gummy frogs were my favorite ^__^


----------



## 7rr7s

Enfpleasantly said:


> How do you not know where anything is in your own home? Also, is it just habit to ask where something is so that someone else gets it for you, or do you really not know where it is? For example; "where is the ladle?", while standing at the stove right next to the drawer with the ladle in it.


Basically, I ask because if it's been moved, they will tell me immediately and it saves me getting frustrated looking for it.



Souled In said:


> What do you do if you're addicted to sex


Can't say I've been addict level with my desire for sex. This one man I know who might be addicted to it though, he goes every few months to Mexico or Thailand and goes on week long brothel tours. Just fucks nonstop several times a day for weeks and gets it out of his system for a while.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms?
> 
> *Neither. I hate sweets, but I hate worms even more. They disgust and terrify me. So if I had to pick, I'd go with bears. One thing I've been meaning to try* *is letting gummy bears absorb a fifth of vodka, get some friends and see who can eat the most bears and still form sentences. XD*
> 
> Do you bite the head and limbs off the animals when you eat animal crackers?
> 
> *Pretty sure I do, but it's been a while.*
> 
> Do you switch the heads and limbs about when eating gummy worms?
> 
> *This is why worms creep me the fuck out. A normal living thing dies when you take their head off, but worms morph into 2 worms! That is so fucked up and disturbing. AHHHHHHH.*
> 
> Are you ever too old to drink capri suns, eat pop rocks or fruit snacks. How about fruit roll ups?


*Hell no! Just the other day, I had a ringpop. Ringpops are pro as fuck.*





Ningsta Kitty said:


> What does it mean to be "politically correct" to you?
> 
> Any other thoughts on the subject is welcome as well


A way for the media to walk on eggshells and not offend people. Now, in a social setting you should not be a dick and say the n word infront of your black friend, or laugh at mentally retarded people, or shit like that. Some people don't get that though. I had a man talk about some other guy with "a crippled arm" and he gestured with him arm to illustrate his point. He did this when I was sitting right next to him at the same table, and I have a disabled arm. Some people are clueless. 

However, in the media, and in the workplace I think it is a disservice. It prevents the issues from getting discussed because they are afraid of offending people. It can also take away from things. (Happy Holidays replaces Merry Christmas.) If people are too afraid to talk about things for fear of retaliation then the conversation gets stifled and people start to harbor resentment which is never good, and when it surfaces it;s usually pretty ugly. 

Basically, speak your mind without fear or hesitation of offending people, but don't be an asshole about it and take into consideration the company you are with. And try to honestly see where the other person is coming from. All that being said, some people just need to learn to take a fucking joke (in the case of pollitcally incorrect humor or in a loose social setting when people are just joking around).


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> How do you not know where anything is in your own home? Also, is it just habit to ask where something is so that someone else gets it for you, or do you really not know where it is? For example; "where is the ladle?", while standing at the stove right next to the drawer with the ladle in it.


Because my wife moves things or reorganizes things in an arbitrary manner without telling me.


----------



## wiarumas

Roland787 said:


> Do you have the usual two testicles?
> 
> *yes*
> 
> How long is your penis when erect?
> 
> *long enough that I have to be careful not to hit the woman's cervix*


In quote


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> what can you tell me of this so called "seven year itch" ...
> do you believe in it? is it common? what is it exactly? what does it mean?
> ya know ... whatever comes to mind.


Seven year itch is the urge to cheat at around 7 years in a relationship. 

I personally didn't experience it, but I would imagine there is some truth in it. If a relationship lasts that long, if problems exist, infidelity should take place by that time. 7 years probably is just coincidence in that its short enough that bad relationships can make it that far along.


----------



## wiarumas

Souled In said:


> What do you do if you're addicted to sex


I'd continue to have sex, start a blog, write a book, go on talk shows, etc.


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms?
> 
> *bears*
> 
> Do you bite the head and limbs off the animals when you eat animal crackers?
> 
> *i eat them whole*
> 
> Do you switch the heads and limbs about when eating gummy worms?
> 
> *no*
> 
> Are you ever too old to drink capri suns, eat pop rocks or fruit snacks. How about fruit roll ups?
> 
> *i try to avoid most snack foods loaded with sugar, but I have eaten some "healthy" fruit roll ups made with real fruit from trader joes I believe. *


In quote


----------



## Dauntless

Mr. Meepers said:


> Hmmm this is tough as I don't have a younger sister (and I am sleepy ... but it is way way way too early to be sleepy )
> 
> Hmmm, I hope this doesn't sound bad, but she would have to make her own mistakes too ... unless she was about to make a really bad mistake lol.
> 
> I hope order does not matter as I am just writing them as I think of them
> 
> - Love and forgive yourself
> - Be open and understanding ... there is almost always more to a situation than what meets the eye
> - Never forget how strong you are, and how strong a smile can be ... and, if there are times where you don't feel you can stand back up, just call me and I will carry you ^__^
> - Trust your intuition, if something doesn't feel right, there is a good chance it isn't
> - Life hurts sometimes, and sometimes it will change us, but we can choose how it changes us ... Do we become wiser and more understanding? Or do we fear the world instead
> - Follow your own values (be a person you respect ... as the only person you have to live with for the rest of your life is yourself), but question them too ... the world isn't so black and white sometimes
> - We may want many things in life, but only a few of those things are important ... don't lose sight of what is truly valuable
> - Unfortunately, some people are bad news ... learn the warning signs of abuse and abusive relationships ... And controlling, being overly possessive, stalking, manipulation, and a few other things shown in some romantic stories may not be signs of love (perhaps just signs of obsession)
> - Don't be afraid to fail ... no one is perfect and as long as you stay true to who you are, I will always be proud of my little sister ^__^
> - ..... I have to think of a tenth one
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'll assume girl means a grown woman (otherwise, I might sound like a terrible person)
> 
> > Yes //jk
> 
> No, not really ... some "innocent" people have dirty minds which is always fun, but it is never fun to take advantage of someone or get them to do thinks they are not ready, do not want, to do
> 
> 
> 
> Yes  //jk
> 
> Nah, well I might have to be a little more protective of her. ... If she uses it too much, she might get caught  ... If she uses it at all, it would be a lot like stealing and she might also have a guilty conscious. She might need extra guidance. ... I might not tell her to never use it, but I would probably say tell her that if she does use it, to make sure it is really worth it (like an emergency where someone will die if they don't have this $100,000 surgery and she is broke) and not to use it for herself ... she has her own sense of right and wrong, I might, in the beginning, help her to follow it
> 
> 
> 
> In what way is she not "naive"? ... If she is just experienced, sure why not ...
> If she has done some not so great things in the past, well it might depend on how long ago and how long I know her ....
> If she doesn't trust me, I may wonder if she is projecting or if she may be more inclined to try to "protect" herself by screwing me over - so a limited trust not (not a full trust)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> We know :wink::tongue:
> 
> Thank You ^__^
> 
> 
> 
> Can be, but not always
> 
> “By three methods we may learn wisdom: first, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third, by experience, which is the most bitter.”
> - Confucius
> 
> I think experience gives us perspective and helps keep us grounded in reality, but I think reflection can compensate for some lack in experience ... I also think listening to stories of those more experienced helps too ... although be aware of what is "fact" and what is their interpretation
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Idk ... maybe a weak correlation
> 
> *Would you prefer a woman who combats aging (dying grey hair, Botox, etc.) or a woman who ages naturally?*
> 
> I feel like I am too young to answer this lol ... but I think I would prefer the natural aging (age with me )
> 
> *What do you think about women who are very passionate in general? Annoying? Attractive?
> *
> Usually I find it very attractive, especially if I care about the subject too ... but if there passion is in something that I don't like (and they insist on involving me after I tried it a bunch of times) or goes against my values, then it can be annoying
> 
> *Is there a certain female voice you prefer? *
> 
> I want to say (singing voice) soprano, but I like alto a lot too ... If I like a woman, I tend to like her voice too
> 
> *Is there a hair and eye color you prefer, or notice you tend to be attracted to more? *
> 
> I like 'em all
> 
> Blue and green eyes are cool ^__^
> 
> and brown hair and red hair is a preference too
> 
> *On a woman, do you prefer au natural, trim, or bald down...there? *
> 
> I think trimmed (with my limited experience) ... but I'm not picky :wink:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Probably depends on the man and his love languages (which I don't know much about) ... I like to say it and show affection.
> 
> How do you know? ... Well idk ... I don't know if you can know ... I would say the best guess would be to look at his actions and how he treats you ... Does it look like love and support to you? Or does it look like something else?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *Do men think of love/romance as much of women? (probably not lol) But if they do, what do they think of?
> *
> You'll be surprised :wink: ... but not as much as I used too (unless I feel very lonely)
> Just small things, like cuddle taking walks in a park/at the beach while holding hands, kissing (even just pecks), playing ... groping and sex fantasies too lol ... um ... I used to think about having kids more  (they are just too adorable :blushed
> Sometimes I will think about growing old and sharing adventures and life experiences and sharing ideas ... stuff like that
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Not too much no ... Unless you want to count the months I let my hair grow out and then trim it really short again .... I find it a little boring to have my hair be the same length all year round ... so I have it cute very short and I may let it grow a couple to a few inches (I let it grow a few inches in the winter because I don't like hats, but my head needs some insulation ... although I did not do that this winter because it is too warm)
> 
> *I know there are a lot of female beauty products and fashion. I feel like it's a little limited to guys. Do you feel that it is?*
> 
> Yeah, that seems to be the case ... there are some guy beauty products, but not as much, I don't think
> 
> 
> 
> 
> For some reason, I really like interesting ties ... I don't know why that is though ... I suppose when I need to look nice I spend more time on my appearance
> 
> 
> 
> Really, it depends on the person ... and not the gender ... I get different things from different people ... With some friends we share a common interest in doing something, other friends I may have a deep intellectual connection, and there are friends that are more emotionally supportive. Those three things may come from the same person sometimes, but it does not have too ... I just try to relate with people on any level that I can and that I feel comfortable with ... I suppose a best friend would be someone that we have shared activities with, mutual intellectual curiosities and are understanding and emotionally supportive of each other.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Well, what makes someone a good person?
> 
> I think most people are good, but there "good" and there is good
> 
> I thing most people try to do the best that they can and they try not to hurt others while trying to find meaning and positive value in their own lives.
> 
> 
> Respect (beyond a basic respect for people in general) and admiration is a whole different thing
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> http://personalitycafe.com/critical-thinking-philosophy/116087-why-people-hate.html#post2934123
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> "Has to have" is tough to say as I may respect for different people for different reasons ... and what they have to have may not be enough for admiration
> 
> - Genuinely cares about others
> - Follows their own values
> - Can see the good in most others
> - Tries to make a difference in other's lives
> - Stands up for their values and victims with love and kindness
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Nope
> Night owl ... I gain energy as it gets later ... either that or I'm like a kid that doesn't wanna go to bed yet >.<
> 18? I think ... My roommate needed to learn how to tie a Full Windsor (and Half Windsor) because he was pledging a fraternity and I had learned it with him
> I knew how to tie a tie a simpler way before that, but I like the Full Windsor the most, so I just stick with that.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Wait ... You're not :shocked: ... I'm totally cheering for pics
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> -Bears (of course)
> - Yes
> - Sometimes ... although sometimes I bite the heads off first like I do with animal crackers
> - No (no one is too old :kitteh, but I don't go out of my way to buy them either
> 
> 
> 
> Oh I did not even notice the third question said gummy worms lol
> 
> As a kid I loved frogs ... and gummy frogs were my favorite ^__^



Ah..gawd. Why can't I find a @Mr. Meepers in real life. :sad:


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> What does it mean to be "politically correct" to you?
> 
> Any other thoughts on the subject is welcome as well


It means not to insult other people different fom you through ignorance.


----------



## milti

So to any man out there willing to answer...

- At what point in your 20s or 30s did you (or you think you will) be ready to have a child?

- Do you ever dream of fatherhood and being a good father? (NFs especially?)

- What do you think of marriage? Are you for the idea of settling with one woman for the rest of your life?

- If you haven't come across that one woman yet, and you said yes to the above - what kinds of general qualities would you look for in a future wife?

- How much influence do your parents have in your life decisions? Do you get along with them?

- Do you have siblings of the opposite sex and how did you interact with them while growing up? Did your interaction with a sister shape your views on women and womanhood to a large extent or not?


----------



## Jennywocky

wiarumas said:


> Because my wife moves things or reorganizes things in an arbitrary manner without telling me.


Well, I'm sure it is not arbitrary to her. 

I don't like my things being moved either; it might look like chaos, but there's actually a map in my head of the general location of anything I might need, it's all relational/spatial, and once someone gets moved, it messes everything up.


----------



## Dauntless

I've know there's supertasters for food, do you think that carries through to sex (do you take my meaning?)?


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Introverted Innovator said:


> I've know there's supertasters for food, do you think that carries through to sex (do you take my meaning?)?


That reminds me! Can you guys smell sex? I cannot and I don't understand it when people say they can, haha!


----------



## petite libellule

Enfpleasantly said:


> That reminds me! Can you guys smell sex? I cannot and I don't understand it when people say they can, haha!


really????
:blushed:

I don't think that's a guy thing.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Ningsta Kitty said:


> really????
> :blushed:
> 
> I don't think that's a guy thing.


Oh I know, I asked the ladies too. Nope, I don't smell a thing! Am I weird?


----------



## Jennywocky

*shrug* Smells like sex to me.

But seriously, I can smell women, I can smell men, and I can smell sweaty churning musky conglomerations of both.


----------



## petite libellule

I like @milti's questions ... so in addition to those ...

do you think women are not romantic? they say men are more so then women. I'm not sure I agree. But what do you think about that assertion? do you like it when women are "romantic" ?


----------



## Wellsy

Ningsta Kitty said:


> I like @_milti_'s questions ... so in addition to those ...
> 
> do you think women are not romantic? they say men are more so then women. I'm not sure I agree. But what do you think about that assertion? do you like it when women are "romantic" ?


Now I don't know about the reality, but I get the vibe from media that they tend to show men being romantic through actions. Though there are films with things like a woman preparing a candle lit dinner at her home, petal roses on the floor to find her in the bedroom, that kind of thing.
It's a bit like saying women aren't funny and then they go on to say there aren't many female comedians. I also remember Kaki King after receiving an award for her music that she expressed theres many great women guitarists but she perhaps was more noticed because she did instrumentals, so it had the focus on her playing than her voice.

So it's easy for people to still view things in a biased point of view when the reality is different.
Perhaps its expected of men in line with the view that they are to be pursuer and proactive thus they are preparing romantic nights for their potential partners or wife. But there are romantic women of course, they're human aren't they, they feel lust, love and all that inner stuff.
As for liking it well im not sure why person wouldn't appreciate someone putting effort into pleasing them.


----------



## android654

milti said:


> So to any man out there willing to answer...- At what point in your 20s or 30s did you (or you think you will) be ready to have a child?


Don't want them.



> - Do you ever dream of fatherhood and being a good father? (NFs especially?)


Nope.



> - What do you think of marriage?


Kind of outdated.



> Are you for the idea of settling with one woman for the rest of your life?


Depends who you've got in mind.



> - How much influence do your parents have in your life decisions?


Very little to not at all.



> Do you get along with them?


One's dead and the other gives me my space, so we're cool.



> - Do you have siblings of the opposite sex and how did you interact with them while growing up?


Don't want to go into detail. Older half-sister, 10 years apart, we don't get along. Younger sister, 2 years apart, my favorite person in the family.



> Did your interaction with a sister shape your views on women and womanhood to a large extent or not?


Nope.


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> I like @_milti_'s questions ... so in addition to those ...
> 
> do you think women are not romantic?


I think women idolize romance and like the common idealist they sit back and wait for it to befall them.



> they say men are more so then women. I'm not sure I agree. But what do you think about that assertion?


It could be the social notion that men must be romantic in order to gain affection.



> do you like it when women are "romantic" ?


It feels more genuine when a non-romantic woman does something romantic or thoughtful. There is such a thing as being too romantic or too loving.


----------



## Wellsy

milti said:


> So to any man out there willing to answer...
> 
> - At what point in your 20s or 30s did you (or you think you will) be ready to have a child?
> *I am 20...*
> - Do you ever dream of fatherhood and being a good father? (NFs especially?)
> *I at times like the thought of being father to a kid and helping them grow into a fine adult
> **But im not sure if I want kids, this is heavily influenced by my age of course as people change values over time but atm im not keen on the idea. I also wonder how introverts deal with kids, they need your time and lots fo it, so you go to work you set up things try to keep spark alive with your partner and play with your kids and go to bed, wake up do it all again. Wheres the room for the me time, that bothers me. Either way im not prepped to be a father, I suppose no one really is but I need to grow up a lot more before i'd be a good one
> *
> - What do you think of marriage? Are you for the idea of settling with one woman for the rest of your life?
> *Not sure about this either, am I mature and proactive enough to invest time and effort into a relationship to keep it a live. Even then its a two person tango, they have to want to as well. So perhaps even if I do a good job its not enough. Perhaps im just not enough. Either way I would hope she doesn't get crazy on me and rip my balls from me if we divorced. In relation to the kid thing it absolutely terrifies me that perhaps in a court I could lose the chance to see me y children because wife turned into an evil bitch who wants to hurt me and she has the law on her side to do so. Of course she needs to argue a good point, but even if im a great father she still has an opportunity to argue that and I worry that in a strange culture of law i'd lose.
> **I think im fine with one woman, im definitely not a multi woman kind of man. I always said I only want one woman in my life. Be her best friend and lover. In her happiness i'll be happy to  For my entire life, well guess we'll see. Hope she doesn't like rich men too much *
> 
> - If you haven't come across that one woman yet, and you said yes to the above - what kinds of general qualities would you look for in a future wife?
> *It's hard to say, because I cant create such a woman. I have to meet a existing one who will have both qualities I love and qualities I dislike. The thing about it though is there are universal qualities that are good to have no matter what sex. You think most people want to be with a alcoholic bastard who's emotional manipulative or some kind of wreck. **Simple things like kindness and mental resilience.
> **I think past that really what I want to match up is values to a degree. I had in for and still do mostly for a girl who was lovely, but we differed strongly in political and religious views. **Such strong held values don't disappear and would only create tension in the long run, i'd be supportive of her views but it wouldnt be enough because she knows that I dont believe them too.
> *
> - How much influence do your parents have in your life decisions? Do you get along with them?
> *I was heavily influenced by some of my fathers drunk talks actually. Hearing him talk about Gough Whitlam, the PM who introduced Medicare here and the Dole (Government social support) and hearing how passionate he was about things he never spoke about when sober. My father has a great appreciation for those supports because he grew up poor with his mother barely scarping by with no government support and 3 kids. He absolutely loved his mother, to hear him speak of her was inspiring. I still remember his talk about how its unfair that there could be a kid in the slums of our city who has the potential to find the cure for cancer, but he won't because he won't get the help he needs. He is drained by a messed up family perhaps, he cant acquire the high enough education he needs. It was these things that were very touching for me in my values today.
> As for my mother, she was the grounding for our family, she knew how to keep things in check big time, dad would be stuffed without her. She likes to make jokes about that, that Dad would be lot worse if she didn't come along to sort him out hahaha She's an ESTJ which makes me wonder how theres this fear of ESTJ's, she is an amazing woman and is always on top of things. Even in being dianogsed with MS she stays strong and works on her health every day. I love my parents, who they are, who they let me be as I was always given a lot freedom compared to other kids. They worry about me but they trust me, they know i'm a good kid, my issues lie not in my morality but my proactiveness and capability.
> *
> - Do you have siblings of the opposite sex and how did you interact with them while growing up? Did your interaction with a sister shape your views on women and womanhood to a large extent or not?


*I have two half sisters. I didn't get to see them much growing up as they lived with their mother and came very rarely to see our father. Also there was a huge age gap, them being 7 years older than me. So there wasn't much growing up with them, our life courses were on different paths altogether.
I can say though, today they for some reason have this immense love for me. They talk about me to their friends sometimes, which was rather surprising to me. I sometimes freak them out with the kind of things I think and say hahah but I love them too. I don't think they shaped my view on women.
I don't know what shaped my view on woman other than culture and my own thoughts in trying to understand women.
*


----------



## PinkiePie

What world hurt more, if you were in a relationship with a girl that cheated on you or if a girl in a relationship cheated on her partner with you without your knowledge?

Hope that makes sense.


----------



## android654

PinkiePie said:


> What world hurt more, if you were in a relationship with a girl that cheated on you or if a girl in a relationship cheated on her partner with you without your knowledge?
> 
> Hope that makes sense.


If I was cheated on. I don't like being lied to in either situation, but being lied to by someone I was involved with hits closer to home than fucking someone who turned out to be taken.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Introverted Innovator said:


> Ah..gawd. Why can't I find a @_Mr. Meepers_ in real life. :sad:


It is because we are elusive and like to hid *hides*

I have actually uploaded myself to the internet, so I don't exist in real life :shocked: ... Perhaps other meepers have as well (although some may be available to download if you have a computer with Windows, Mac, or Debian/Ubuntu/Mint operating system) :tongue:

Here is a downloadable hug .... *hug*


* *






























milti said:


> So to any man out there willing to answer...


*- At what point in your 20s or 30s did you (or you think you will) be ready to have a child?*

Idk ... I want to wait until I am a little more financially stable ... Then it depends if I meet the right woman or not. ... If I don't, I will probably adopt, but that will be much later in life as I would like to try to find a partner first ^__^

... I probably should learn more about raising a child and talk more to those with vast experience (i.e. Learn more from my parents about raising a child) .... Although, from what I hear, no one is completely "ready" the first time (so I won't take it lightly ... but I would like to be as prepared as possible)

*- Do you ever dream of fatherhood and being a good father? (NFs especially?)*

Yes, plenty of times ... I have also worried about being a bad father (even though I am not a dad - I hope I don't sound insane lol) ... But, I think if I give them all the love that I can, I will find a way to at least be pretty decent

*- What do you think of marriage? Are you for the idea of settling with one woman for the rest of your life?*

Marriage is where I trap a woman into being with me ... and only me ... Muahhahaha >
Evil Meepers is evil >

*- If you haven't come across that one woman yet, and you said yes to the above - what kinds of general qualities would you look for in a future wife?*

Hmmm ... Someone with a lot of inner beauty ... or at least what I would call beautiful (on the inside).

- Loving, caring, understanding, an intellectual (not necessarily intelligent, just someone who likes to share abstract ideals), fun and playful, responsible, emotionally strong (not cold, but fairly emotionally healthy, I think we all have our demons, and can take the curve balls life throws at us), a tease and a flirt :wink:, someone looking to share the journey of life with me, someone who likes to cuddle :kitteh: (and eskimo kisses too :kitteh, someone who is quirky and imaginative.

Hmmm, let's see ... I suppose someone I feel a lot of respect and admiration for ... and someone who share my ideals, at least the ones that are important to me.

I would prefer someone a little more on the dominating side sexually ... and I would strongly prefer someone who wants kids

... Oh, and I want someone who is lovable ... because ... They. Shall. Be. Loved!!! :kitteh:

*- How much influence do your parents have in your life decisions? Do you get along with them?
*
My Dad does not really influence my decisions ... In a way, my Mom does though. I mean, I have a lot of respect for my Mom and we have very similar personalities, so when she gives me advice or when look for guidance I listen to what she said. Now it is my life and my life alone, so I make and I am responsible for all the decisions, but her advice is more like something I will think about, a more experienced perspective, that I may use to think about a difficult problem. ... That being said ... I never ask for relationship advice from parents :tongue: ... or at least not enough to remember, I will ask close friends though (it is more comfortable to talk to friends and gain a fresh perspective on certain things than talking to my Mom about it)

Um ... I get along great with my Mom ... As far as my Dad is concerned, I do not. Although, sometimes he is okay to be around, for the most part, I do not like him. And I don't really respect him (beyond what I respect I give everyone). But, for some reason, I love him (beyond the basic love for fellow human beings).  So, um, I guess we get along okay lol. Better than when I was a kid lol.

*- Do you have siblings of the opposite sex and how did you interact with them while growing up? Did your interaction with a sister shape your views on women and womanhood to a large extent or not?*

Yeah, I had a sister growing up. She was older than me and we were like night and day lol. 

Between having a skewed perception of events because of her "relationship" (or lack of one) with our Dad, being 5 years apart, and having such different personalities ... we never really had a strong bond. We love each other and we like each other, but we are not close. ... When we were younger we used to argue more and maybe we were closer too lol ... but as the years past, my sister just drove our Mom crazy sometimes lol ... and I saw how she pushed our Mom to her wits end and got punished for it. Something would happen, lets say she was told to do X 50 million times lol - my sister claimed it did not happen - most times I saw it happened and I agreed with our Mom and my sister would assume that I was just agreeing because "I was against her" or "I just agree with Mom" ... but she did not realize was there was a few times that I did some of her chores for her so she would not get in trouble lol ... and later in life, if she needed to "borrow" money (i.e. she will forget and never pay me back lol) I gave it to her without hesitation (I always knew I would never see it again, but it was not like I was using it or I that I cared if she did or not ... At some point I forgot I "lent" her a few hundred dollars lol).

The other issue, from my perspective, was that she thought I was Mom's favorite because I was never punished and if I said I wanted something I would get it. ... The thing is, if I was asked to do something, I did it and I understood why I was asked to do it ... I did not purposely bring up conflict (except with my Father) because I hated conflict ... and I never ask for anything except for things relating to scouts, sports, and food lol. ... I remember my Mom telling me (a few years after the fact) that she had been upset with me for not asking her to go one field trips that I wanted to go on because I decided that we could not afford it (it turns out they were not a lot of money ... but $30 to a high schooler is a lot lol) and proceeded to tell me that that was her decision not mine. To me, I was being "responsible", but since I never asked for much, and when I did want something, I still did not ask lol, I suppose it was like telling her that she can't provide a few fun things I guess lol. Or maybe it was just that she did not want me to feel like we had that much hardship (it wasn't as bad as I thought it was lol). So I know why my Mom rarely said no to me lol 

... And she spent way more on my sister that she did on me, because my sister "needed" (I should say cared more about) material things much more than I did ... but I was far less independent and much more affectionate, so I "needed" more affection ... And I agree with my Mom's reasoning (we both got what we "needed" and then some) ... and I was never upset that she did not spend as much on me (she liked to explain to me why she was not "fair" to me, but I never really noticed it as a kid lol nor did I care when I did notice lol)

Anyway, my sister still has a lot of the same views as I mentioned above, but much more toned down. ... So we get along better, but we were still never close.


As far as affecting my view of women, I never met a woman like her ... so no

Oh, and I also have an (older) half sister, but we are even further apart (both figuratively and literally)



Enfpleasantly said:


> That reminds me! Can you guys smell sex? I cannot and I don't understand it when people say they can, haha!


Um, I don't notice sex (or at least I have not yet), but I have noticed masturbation (or at least I think I have)




Ningsta Kitty said:


> I like @_milti_'s questions ... so in addition to those ...
> 
> do you think women are not romantic? they say men are more so then women. I'm not sure I agree. But what do you think about that assertion? do you like it when women are "romantic" ?


Hmmm ... I have no clue XD

I'm very playful, so I don't know if I am that "suave" romantic (okay, I'm not ), but I think romance, or the things we call romantic, are different for everyone. And we don't just romanticize relationships, but we romanticize a lot of things. ... Our dreams and our passions are romantic. ... So, if you are asking if I like when a partner finds me dreamy and is passionate about being with me ... well, I might *stares at ground with one foot on his toes twisting side to side* :blushed::blushed::blushed::blushed::blushed:


If you mean, do I like to be chased and courted ... well, I think I like a little of both ... I really, really liked to be "teased" and be a little more on the pursuing end (and yet I am submissive ), but I like to be a teased too every now and then and be pursued.




PinkiePie said:


> What world hurt more, if you were in a relationship with a girl that cheated on you or if a girl in a relationship cheated on her partner with you without your knowledge?
> 
> Hope that makes sense.


So betrayal from someone very, very dear to me ... or feeling used and "betrayed" by someone not so close to me where I may feel guilt for accidentally hurting someone else (but I can rationalize the guilt with, "I had no idea, she used me too")


Probably being cheated on would hurt a lot more


----------



## Dauntless

Mr. Meepers said:


> Muahhahaha >
> Evil Meepers is evil >


Lies!


----------



## Snakecharmer

downsowf said:


> california pizza kitchen? i might have a coupon. that's cool too.


My Italian grandmother would be appalled! :laughing:


----------



## milti

Question: What would a man do if he knew a female acquaintance had a huge crush on him? But she doesn't tell him? But would he be able to suspect it? :blushed:

I ask because most of the guys I know _don't_ seem to like the idea of females having secret crushes on them. They're all like "I never did anything to give her the idea that I wanted to be with her!"


----------



## downsowf

Snakecharmer said:


> My Italian grandmother would be appalled! :laughing:


Is your Italian grandmother paying? hmm hmm :tongue: haha

alright then: i shall fly you to the italian countryside and have a pizza there. then we'll see what grandma has to say!


----------



## 7rr7s

milti said:


> Question: What would a man do if he knew a female acquaintance had a huge crush on him? But she doesn't tell him? But would he be able to suspect it? :blushed:
> 
> I ask because most of the guys I know _don't_ seem to like the idea of females having secret crushes on them. They're all like "I never did anything to give her the idea that I wanted to be with her!"


I can never tell, unless they tell me. I suspected this one girl had a thing for me once, but she denied it(I think she was lying though). But all of my ex girlfriends told me shortly after meeting me. Aside from them I have no clue if a girl has or has had a crush on me. I like the idea of a secret crush, but I don't want to get my hopes up.


----------



## Snakecharmer

downsowf said:


> Is your Italian grandmother paying? hmm hmm :tongue: haha
> 
> alright then: i shall fly you to the italian countryside and have a pizza there. then we'll see what grandma has to say!


Best idea yet!


----------



## Ntuitive

Do you think the responses here would be different if an average male personality ST or SF were answering the questions?


----------



## Sara Torailles

Snakecharmer said:


> LOL - thanks! :wink:
> 
> I'll leave my gun at home. :laughing:


Knives, too... :dry:


----------



## Snakecharmer

Torai said:


> Knives, too... :dry:


Oh, no worries. I don't own any. My only weapons are my charm and wit.......so you are safe. LOL


----------



## wiarumas

Roland787 said:


> How much porn is on your computer/surf history?


Zero. Work issued.


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> Could you? Would you? With a goat?
> Could you? Would you? On a boat?
> Could you? Would you? In the rain?
> Could you? Would you? On a train?


Say! I will eat them anywhere!


----------



## Roland Khan

Your work issues your porn?


----------



## Kyandigaru

wiarumas said:


> I'm an ENTJ type 3 male.
> 
> Ive done it all from being in a band, fraternity, marriage, parenting, and everything in between. I have genius level IQ, paint, cook, write poetry, short stories, novels, shoot guns, work on cars, etc.
> 
> Want to ask a guy anything - sex, relationships, personal questions, guy mentality, bro code - go ahead.


Judging my photo, what do you think of me personally? Life, love life and social life! As a male....


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> If you met a girl who had been raped or some other god awful scenario,
> would you consider her "damaged goods" or "broken" ?
> 
> *depends on the severity. I wouldn't consider her broken unless she carried some deep psychological effects like flinching if I tried to kiss her or afraid of intimacy. If things were relatively minor, no, I wouldn't. *
> 
> I you dated that girl and she didn't want to have sex right away,
> how long would you wait till throwing in the towel?
> 
> *depends on the girl. Maybe after a couple months if things weren't looking to improve in the future. Maybe longer depending on the girl. I might just throw in the towel ASAP if I felt like I might not be the right guy for the job and might potential cause her more harm. At some point I will say, wait a second... Am I just waiting around for sex? What will happen after that? If things won't work out, am I going to screw her up even more?*
> 
> If you met your soul mate, and all her hair fell out, would you still be with her?
> not you @_android654_
> 
> *soul mate? Sure. I was going to say it depends on the duration of relationship prior to the incident. But soul mate implies I know her well enough to stick with it. *
> 
> If you met your soul mate and she got into a terrible car accident (god awful scenario)
> and her whole face was tore up from the glass, would you no longer feel she was your soul mate?
> 
> *so is she my soul mate or not? I mean, a soul mate isn't situational, am I right? So yes, she still would be. *
> 
> What if her right arm had to be amputated?
> Or her leg? would she still be your 'soul mate' ?
> 
> *above*
> 
> If you had to choose your injury in a hypothetical god awful scenario of a car accident, would you prefer to lose your arm, a leg or would you prefer to have your face tore up so you could wear a creepy mask?
> 
> *leg. I'd like to use both my hands still. I could get by on a prosthetic leg. *
> 
> If you had to choose your traumatizing moment from a god awful past, would you prefer to be raped, shanked; leaving you with a damaged nervous system so you had no penile sensitivity or would you prefer to have broken your epiphyseal plates in your wrists, leaving you with the hands of an 8 yr old boy as an adult? (I can explain that injury better if you are having trouble envisioning it)
> 
> *The boy hands sound better than no sex. *


In quote


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> How Bout It! Lol! Makes me want to ask ...
> 
> How often do you guys watch porn? Like, 3-4 times a week? daily? a few times a month?


Maybe once every two weeks or so.


----------



## wiarumas

Snakecharmer said:


> ...which leads me to a question for the fellas here:
> 
> Are you attracted to women with muscles?
> 
> I like this look (and this is what I am working towards - after the holidays, of course).
> 
> Pictures of gina ostarly


I don't mind it - doesn't turn me off or do anything for me either. If we are talking about preference, I like fit, not necessarily muscular.


----------



## wiarumas

Snakecharmer said:


> Will one of you take me out for pizza this weekend?
> 
> *runs and hides*


Ironically if its NoVA, I probably live close.


----------



## wiarumas

milti said:


> Question: What would a man do if he knew a female acquaintance had a huge crush on him? But she doesn't tell him? But would he be able to suspect it? :blushed:
> 
> I ask because most of the guys I know _don't_ seem to like the idea of females having secret crushes on them. They're all like "I never did anything to give her the idea that I wanted to be with her!"


I think we sometimes suspect it. Friendship and crushes are tough for most guys to navigate through. Sometimes we have no idea, sometimes we play dumb, sometimes we just don't know what to do.


----------



## wiarumas

Ntuitive said:


> Do you think the responses here would be different if an average male personality ST or SF were answering the questions?


Some. I think there would be some similar trends as well as differences depending on various factors... personality type, age, area, etc.


----------



## wiarumas

Roland787 said:


> Your work issues your porn?


Haha no, my work issued my laptops. I have my own too but I rarely use it. Besides all my Internet history is nuked every time the browser closes.


----------



## Medea

Would you date a vegan? Why or why not.
Same goes I guess for a different religion than you.


----------



## redmanXNTP

meltedsorbet said:


> Would you feel violated if you thought a woman had sexual fantasies about you, but wasn't rude or pushy or anything? Would you feel offended?


No, I'd be flattered. 

And I'd want her to tell me all about them.

Over drinks. 

Unless she was ugly.


----------



## redmanXNTP

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Do men authentically enjoy women as just friends, point blank?
> Or is there always some sort of "keeping options open/ya never know"(ulterior motive) element there?


My own experience is that there are two kinds of men: those who like women as their "just friends" (a minority), and those whose voluntary relationships (such as outside of work) with women are built around romance/sex (the majority). I'm the latter. I was brought up to respect women and I detest guys who treat women as lesser sex objects, but the truth is that I simply don't "need" women to be my "just friends" and it always feels a bit awkward to me when a woman is injecting herself into that context for me.


----------



## redmanXNTP

dagnytaggart said:


> Do you catch yourself judging people by their looks, if they're genetically unattractive or if they're obese?


Definitely. Looks are the first thing I tend to notice.


----------



## redmanXNTP

Enfpleasantly said:


> Do you tip servers at restaurants well? Just enough? Above average? A set amount no matter the amount of the bill?


The standard is 15%. I don't need to apologize to anyone for that amount. You really need to piss me off to get lower than that. If it's excellent service then I'll go 20%-25%, and on rare occasions possibly higher.


----------



## redmanXNTP

Ace Face said:


> What do you consider post-sex ettiquette? Do you think it's rude if your lady doesn't let your immediately roll over and fall asleep? Does how she feels about it matter to you?


Funny enough I've never understood the problem here. I'd say I have at least a moderate amount of sleepiness as a post-coital guy, but I've never had a problem sleeping too much or talking not enough. I've never had a complaint. Sometimes I'm as talkative as her (morning and early afternoon sex are typically this way), and quite often just lying there together sleepily (or asleep) is just as good. 

Those relatively unusual times when I've just conked out, the women have thought it was cute. (I've even fallen asleep on a few occasions _during _sex, and got the same response (note: I was extremely drunk or tired. Or both.)

I just go with the flow on this and it seems to work out.


----------



## redmanXNTP

android654 said:


> Reading surveys is no substitute for experiencing the real thing.


Here's my survey: I've had sex with plenty of women and sometimes there's absolutely no hiding it (gushing or at least coming hard; contracting; etc.) and other times there's simply a somewhat ambiguous verbal buildup and climax (mild-to-moderate moaning). In other words, sometimes you can tell for sure, and other times you can't. This is true whether I've been giving oral or been inside. 

You're full of shit if you are claiming you know with absolute certainty whether your female partner is orgasming, and that's regardless of experience.


----------



## redmanXNTP

Ningsta Kitty said:


> MORE QUESTIONS!
> 
> 1. Have YOU ever faked an orgasm? (I suppose it's feasible, right?)
> 
> *Yes, on a couple of occasions with established girlfriends when I was too drunk or too tired to come. Oddly given their experience with me, neither seemed to realize. I promptly fell asleep. *
> 
> 2. (with regards to females faking orgasms) Is a fake orgasm better than No orgasm?
> 
> *It depends on how good of an actress she is. My orgasms tend to have as much to do with what I'm imagining as what I'm experiencing (which I assume is a result of having dominant Ti and Ne).*
> 
> 3. When a woman is over reacting, acting all irrational, do you stonewall or act like a dick?
> OR, do you attempt to suggest taking a break and resuming said such spat(disagreement) to another time ...
> 
> *It depends upon what it's about. Something minor and I'll ignore it. If it's a major or fundamental problem, I'll usually address it directly and bluntly, which probably puts me on the "dick" end of the scale.*
> 
> 4. If you were sitting at a red light and someone slammed into your car (!) and you get out of the car all (wtf!) and you see this 80 pound little high school girl get out of the car (holding her phone still). You assume she was texting ... how do you handle this situation(car accident) ? What do you say ???
> 
> *I'd be very pissed off about it and she'd most certainly get an earful. I'd probably want to make her cry and, if possible, call her daddy so I could kick his ass for not pulling out 18.75 years ago. *
> 
> 5. If an old lady were getting mugged for her purse right in front of you by someone roughly the same size as you (but maybe younger, more energetic) ... what would you do?
> 
> *I'd probably knock his ass down. I'm athletic and fairly good size though, so I'd hold my own. *
> 
> 6. Have you ever checked out your "guns" in the mirror or Have you ever looked in the mirror and practiced sexy looks, etc ? *giggling* :tongue:
> 
> *Are you kidding? Of course.*


See above.


----------



## redmanXNTP

wiarumas said:


> @_android654_ @_Ace Face_
> 
> I think both of you are right. I have no doubt some women fake it, but if you know what's going on its blatantly obvious. There are some aspects of a female orgasm that you simply cannot fake.


Not every orgasm is necessarily the same, even in the same sex session. With my current girlfriend, some I can tell she's having purely from sensation, regardless of the sounds she's making with her voice, others purely from her voice (hearing it build, etc.), and others still that I can't tell at all but for her telling me about them after the fact. While every woman and her body are different, this general experience has held up for me over time with my partners.


----------



## redmanXNTP

pageofadiary said:


> In your opinion what is the definition of an "easy woman"? Or do you think there is such a thing?


If you mean "easiest to bed", a 30- or 40-something recent divorcee. It's not even close. They're coming out of bad, long-term relationships with sex that was equally bad and they want to feel like a woman again.


----------



## redmanXNTP

Ningsta Kitty said:


> bro code question ...
> 
> if you saw a friend of yours (bro) and his GF, and you knew the GF enough to know she was an amazing person. and bro in question was behaving like a douche to her ...
> would you say anything? why or why not ...


It's overwhelmingly likely that I'd stay out of it. People have to decide their own path and their own relationships. Only if the behavior was extreme, or if I liked her way more than him, would I intervene then and there. I might consider mentioning it in passing 1:1 with him if I was particularly tight with him and I thought the behavior was bad enough.


----------



## redmanXNTP

Ningsta Kitty said:


> yes! I had a recent argument(disagreement) about this.
> the guy said 3 dates was the average ... I said :shocked:


Your friend was right. If a girl is "easy" (and yes, there's not a clear definition), then three dates is plenty to claim your reward.


----------



## redmanXNTP

killerB said:


> What part of the male psyche prevents them from going to the doctor when they need it and further more, allows them to understate everything so the doctor does not treat their issue correctly?


Pride, sense of "toughness", distrust of doctors, inability to admit a problem to themselves, refusal to give in to a problem, inability to ask others for help, desire not to be seen as a whiner or complainer. I'm sure there's other factors. 

BTW, my mother was precisely the same way, so it's not necessarily a girl or guy thing.


----------



## redmanXNTP

INTJellectual said:


> Women give sex to get love.
> 
> *Men give love to get sex.*
> 
> The bolded parts, how true?


That has a lot of truth, but the more long term that most guys see their relationship with a woman, the less true the bolded part is, all other things being equal. For me, in a committed, long term and loving relationship, the (good) sex is not the majority of the relationship but it is an essential part of the core and needs to be there.


----------



## redmanXNTP

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Depends on the woman.
> 
> Do men know what they want? At which point is it typical for a man to contemplate what he wants?
> 
> *This is way too broad and can't be answered.*
> 
> I was thinking ...
> Please answer honestly even if you know I might not like the answers (that goes for any question I ask)
> 
> questions (curiosities) about jealousy ...
> 
> 1. do men get jealous about women making more money?
> 
> *Men do, yes. It's never made me insecure, however, even when my ex-wife was making more than me, which was most of the time. *
> 
> 2. do men get bothered or jealous over women being capable of taking care of themselves?
> 
> *I'm not sure I understand this question. I would imagine some immature and insecure pricks want to think that women are all dependent creatures such that womens' independence would piss them off. *
> 
> 3. is it unreasonable to expect a man to communicate when he's feeling jealous or insecure?
> 
> *It depends on the situation, and that's true of both men and women. It probably has to do in large part with the level of security the person feels in the relationship. Communicating jealousy or insecurity is conveying that you feel weak, after all. *
> 
> 4. If you had a friend who you thought was amazing and then found yourself in a relationship with that person. and she had other guy friends that she spoke to (but not on a emotionally deep level), would it bother you? why or why not. how would that make you feel regardless of the previous answer ?
> 
> *It depends on how she went about it. Generally, I wouldn't regard it as being ideal, but I'd try to understand it and be patient with it. *
> 
> 5. if your guy friend met a girl and she was incredibly attractive, and you were in a super happy and fulfilling relationship with a girl not as attractive. would you be a little jeolous of him? why? would it effect how you saw your SO? (flip the script) how would you handle it if you were dating a girl your guy friends (men generally) thought was an amazing girl who was also very attractive. Would it bother you? would you always feel a little on edge about her getting to know your friends, or interacting with the opposite sex at work or want not.
> 
> *I would't begrudge my friend his romantic victory, especially if I felt fulfilled. If I was the guy with the hot chick, I'd be proud of the fact and would be happy to be out with her. It helps that I'm not friends with guys who would try to cheat with her on me or would otherwise be competitive. *
> 
> 6. so you are in a relationship with a girl who is a super happy person. you know that you make her happy. she is happy being with you. but does it somewhere kinda sorta bother you that she is happy with or without you? why?
> 
> *I'd be glad that she's happy generally, but I'd like for her to derive a good amount of additional happiness from our relationship and I'd be a bit concerned about her if there was no big difference between me being in her life and not.*
> 
> 7. if you were dating a girl who is sociable, not a social butterfly but has a lot of friends and people who like to talk to her, make plans to spend time, etc. - does it bother you that she is not always available to spend time with you when you want?
> 
> *Yes, it would bother me. I give greater latitude to her for work/career commitments, but social stuff is voluntary and if she's consistently choosing others over me then I'm not going to be happy. *
> 
> 8. are you jealous if your SO is being emotionally supportive to other guy friends? or if she is having fun and laughing with friends regardless of sex (and your not there) - does that bother you?
> 
> *Yes, I'd not like emotionally close relationships with other guys. I do believe in the concept of "emotional affairs" and, even though I hold open the possibility of emotional support that falls short of betrayal, the two concepts are too close to comfort for me. *
> 
> 9. if you feel bothered or jealous or whatever, do you keep it to yourself? are you in crazy analyze mode? do you get angry or irritable?
> 
> *It depends upon how much information I feel I have about the situation, how secure I am in the relationship, how urgent the situation is, and how private the situation is (I wouldn't want to make a scene because I was jealous). *
> 
> 10. do you get off on making a strong person weak? how so, if so.
> 
> *If they're being arrogant or condescending, or I'm in competition with them for some reason, then yes. If someone is coming across as "strong" for reasons I respect, however, then no, I won't try to make them weak or undercut them. *


see above


----------



## redmanXNTP

Ningsta Kitty said:


> would you be more comfortable dating someone who had been married for a long time and was divorced? or was married for a long time and their spouse died. I know this question kinda sucks. But I want to know. Which would be a more comfortable/desirable scenario. and why. What would bother you about the former(not preferred) scenario. ?


Dating? Definitely the divorcee. They love teh secks and are happy to be back in the dating pool again. I've never dated a widow, but I'd imagine there's a lot of issues that lead to distraction from just enjoying the relationship, more so than the divorcee has.


----------



## redmanXNTP

Ningsta Kitty said:


> okay, I can't believe I have the guts to ask this ... but, this is a question that I KNOW other women have asked, because female friends and I have laughed about it and wondered ... women want to know, WHY, why do men try to put their fingers in our bum while playing around. What is the infatuation? Why would you want to put your fingers there? I don't understand ... why don't you think it's gross?
> 
> I asked one guy this before. he laughed at me. gave me his answer as to why.
> so I'm just curious now what other guys will say.
> 
> you don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable, lol!


To quote George Mallory, "Because it was there."

To quote Spinal Tap: 






The truth is that once a guy is turned on, a lot of taboos go out the window. I'm not much into anal play but it has grown on me with time and experience. I wouldn't just stick a finger in there without any prior indication, however.


----------



## redmanXNTP

Enfpleasantly said:


> What is on your Christmas wish list?


Nothing. Seriously, nothing. I'm tough to shop for as I tend not to have a running list of things and I'll buy whatever I want/need at the time that want/need occurs to me.


----------



## redmanXNTP

killerB said:


> I just had to ask. :laughing:
> 
> My son did this recently and ended up going back and having to get pretty strong antibiotics for his now Bronchitis and Sinus Infection. Instead of just getting treated for the Sinus Infection in the first place. I think it's actually worse for me however, as I am a lesbian and he has two Moms. He also has two sisters, so it is a woman only household.I would have thought it would have been a non issue, however, it apparently is genetic. LOL
> 
> He does ask for directions however, so I'll have to be happy with that. roud:


My experience is that (speaking generally of course) women have a more intimate relationship with their bodies than men do. It's more of a temple to women; for men, it's a vehicle, and it's to be expected that vehicles get dings and scratches.


----------



## android654

redmanXNTP said:


> Here's my survey: I've had sex with plenty of women and sometimes there's absolutely no hiding it (gushing or at least coming hard; contracting; etc.) and other times there's simply a somewhat ambiguous verbal buildup and climax (mild-to-moderate moaning). In other words, sometimes you can tell for sure, and other times you can't. This is true whether I've been giving oral or been inside.
> 
> You're full of shit if you are claiming you know with absolute certainty whether your female partner is orgasming, and that's regardless of experience.


That whole exchange went right over your head.


----------



## redmanXNTP

android654 said:


> That whole exchange went right over your head.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Ningsta Kitty said:


> They say if your second toe is longer than your big toe, that you have more testosterone then the normal. That you're exceptionally charming, good in bed and are a natural born leader.
> What do you think about this?


LIES AND SLANDER!!!!! :tongue:

Although, if you have a toe that is partially webbed ... then you have all those things :tongue:



Clearly, I don't know enough about my male friends (nor have I slept with any of them ... yet ) to test this idea out lol
I have heard that being exposed to more testosterone while still in the womb can lead to a different proportion of index to ring finger lengths or something like that. I don't remember


----------



## petite libellule

Mr. Meepers said:


> I have heard that being exposed to more testosterone while still in the womb can lead to a different proportion of index to ring finger lengths or something like that. I don't remember


wait! my index finger is smaller than my ring finger. is that okay? 
I hope that doesn't mean I'm mannish. I don't wanna be mannish 

we better stop  I sense a derail red alert going off, lol!


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Ningsta Kitty said:


> wait! my index finger is smaller than my ring finger. is that okay?
> I hope that doesn't mean I'm mannish. I don't wanna be mannish


Mine is too 

Anyway, I don't remember the ratio, or anything, but, @Ningsta Kitty, I don't care what ratio your fingers are ... You are just way too cute and cuddly to be mannish :kitteh::wink:



> we better stop  I sense a derail red alert going off, lol!


Can you derail a thread that allows one to ask anything? ... I feel as though, as long as there is a question, the thread is not being derailed :tongue::crazy:


----------



## petite libellule

Mr. Meepers said:


> Mine is too
> 
> Anyway, I don't remember the ratio, or anything, but, @_Ningsta Kitty_, I don't care what ratio your fingers are ... You are just way too cute and cuddly to be mannish :kitteh::wink:
> 
> :blushed: Thank You ...
> 
> Can you derail a thread that allows one to ask anything? ... I feel as though, as long as there is a question, the thread is not being derailed :tongue::crazy:


 So what's the question?  Lol!

p.s. 

I have read an article about this finger/toe thing. 
I shall put it on my google to search list for tomorrow. *nods*


----------



## phony

Do you think most teenage guys really are hornier than most teenage girls, or are teenage girls just less open about how horny they are? (Looooool I have a definite opinion on this  But I'm curious what DUDES think)


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> They say if your second toe is longer than your big toe, that you have more testosterone then the normal. That you're exceptionally charming, good in bed and are a natural born leader.
> What do you think about this?


I think the first part may be true. Or at least have some sort of loose correlation. The second part is false.


----------



## wiarumas

phony said:


> Do you think most teenage guys really are hornier than most teenage girls, or are teenage girls just less open about how horny they are? (Looooool I have a definite opinion on this  But I'm curious what DUDES think)


Both are horny during puberty and it varies person to person, but generally speaking men are hornier than most girls. One reason for this is that men are consistent. Women fluctuate. 

From my understanding, its rooted in a biological need on a subconscious level. Teenage girls are very fertile, so they do not require as much sex to get pregnant and sometimes fluctuate depending on hormone levels and emotional state. Men have the drive to impregnante as many women as possible and have to be able to reproduce at any time.

Later in life, things change. You often hear about older women becoming hornier than their male counterparts. It's because they aren't as fertile, so they require more sex to become pregnant.


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> wait! my index finger is smaller than my ring finger. is that okay?
> I hope that doesn't mean I'm mannish. I don't wanna be mannish
> 
> we better stop  I sense a derail red alert going off, lol!


It's fine. It actually does relate to your original question. 

The longer the ring finger is in relation to the index finger, the more testosterone you were exposed to in the womb. There was also some correlation to homosexuality depending on this ratio. And i also read a study about a man's attrativeness correlates to the length of his index finger. I don't know if I buy it. Seems like junk science to me. 

Testosterone does have some visual impact on men. It's what gives muscle mass, deep voices, cheek bones, jawline, hair, etc. basically a lot of things women are attracted to as masculine traits demonstrating healthy levels. On one hand, too little testosterone makes a man infertile and impotent. On the other hand with too much in relation to his estrogen, makes him asymmetrical (think facial features) and prone to behavioral problems such as aggression.

Your original question touched on this subject. No I don't think testosterone provides leadership qualities and good sex. However, a healthy amount of testosterone and estrogen may, but that's a whole new (subjective) conversation on leadership traits and good sex haha.


----------



## petite libellule

@_wiarumas_ well my index finger is shorter but not by much. the flick people off finger however, is noticeably longer. Does this mean I'm rebellious? Now, my hallux is slightly longer than the second phalange. Each proceeding phalange is slightly shorter than the last, resulting in a ever so slight downward curve to the very last phalange that went - wee wee wee, all the way home. Now, does this mean I have cute toes? Do men like painted toes? Can you pick up a sock on the floor with your toes? What would happen to a persons center of balance if they hadn't any toes? I read somewhere that if the hallux is the longest, then you have the capacity to be a better athlete. Why? I hate sports. 

:tongue:


----------



## Mr. Meepers

phony said:


> Do you think most teenage guys really are hornier than most teenage girls, or are teenage girls just less open about how horny they are? (Looooool I have a definite opinion on this  But I'm curious what DUDES think)


I don't want to think about horny teens (they are so young).

Okay, well girls do physically mature before boys do and they can only be fertile until a certain age, so I imagine that could be a case for girls being very horny in their teens (relative to boys) ... and I think both boys and girls are facing a potentially explosive sex drive that they are not used too (I remember when I first discovers boobs. Man was that a glorious discovery. I saw "women" in a new light after that ... It was not like when I would chase the girl wearing the frilly clothes back when I was in pre-school. I was in it for the frills. ... ). 
I think the media sexualizes a lot of things that have nothing to do with sex as well (I mean, is Drano really that sexy? ... I'm not going to poison a SO with Drano when she is constipated ... Okay, um commercials actually never told me to do that and I don't know what that had to do with sexiness ... poop is sexy (apparently) ... okay, not really. It is kind of gross actually ... I think I'm going to stop thinking now ).
I also think that kids (teens) are more susceptible to the influence of others and what they think others think of them ... and, to a teenage boy, sex (the idea of sex) may seem like the ultimate expression of manhood ... so boys, to fit in, may make hype about how horny they get and their "sexual conquests", while, although (American) society seems sexualizes in some respects, it also looks down on sexuality in other respects ... and I image young girls may feel conflicted with trying to be sexy (even though they are still kids) and trying to "act like women" by not being "too sexual" and I think that may cause a conflict that may encourage some girls pretend to be more "horny" and other girls to pretend to be less "horny" than they actually feel. ... On average, I think boys are pressured to say they are more horny and I think, on average, girls are pressured to say they are less horny than they actually are ....
As far as which group is more aroused on average, well I don't know (and I don't want to think about it lol), but girls' bodies do mature faster, so (despite conventional beliefs and social pressures) it would not be unreasonable to think that teenage girls have more of a sex drive than teenage boys (on average), but I would not know.




Ningsta Kitty said:


> well my index finger is shorter but not by much. the flick people off finger however, is noticeably longer. Does this mean I'm rebellious?


Yes :tongue:


> Now, my hallux is slightly longer than the second phalange. Each proceeding phalange is slightly shorter than the last, resulting in a ever so slight downward curve to the very last phalange that went - wee wee wee, all the way home. Now, does this mean I have cute toes?


Yes :wink:


> Do men like painted toes?


Me personally .... Sometimes I do ... Seeing deep red toe nails can add some contract ... or a pretty picture just makes a woman's toes look more fun ^__^ ... but I like non-painted toes too ... I am easy going
As far as the toes themselves, I suppose I would like painted toes if it was from her having fun ^__^



> Can you pick up a sock on the floor with your toes?


Yes. I can pick up other things with my toes too



> What would happen to a persons center of balance if they hadn't any toes?


It probably would not be very good ... they may have to walk on their heels or sides of their feet a lot hurting their alignment overtime



> I read somewhere that if the hallux is the longest, then you have the capacity to be a better athlete. Why? I hate sports.


Do you hate just watching sports? (I'm not a big fan of watching sports) ... Or do you also hate playing in sports? (might be more fun than you think :wink

Um, well that is the widest toe (the longer it is, with it's width, would provide greater surface area for balance) and it is the center-most toe (center of body, not center of foot) ... So I would guess that any sport that required pushing off with the balls of your feet or being on the balls of your feet (such as any sport that requires running), especially one foot at a time, may benefit from improved balance and/or might be adding more of the pushing force to the center of the body (improving forward thrust by reducing the amount of wasted energy, torque applied to the axis paralleled with height in this case)


----------



## Mr. Meepers

So I have a question for guys.

That last two roommates I had used to leave their facial hair all over the sink (and on some of the countertop around the sink) after they shaved. 

So my question is do you guys "clean" your hair after you shave? I mean wipe your hair off the counter top and at least rinse out the sink.
And how do you feel about roommates that leave discarded facial hair lying around the sink and countertop?


----------



## searcheagle

Mr. Meepers said:


> So I have a question for guys.
> 
> That last two roommates I had used to leave their facial hair all over the sink (and on some of the countertop around the sink) after they shaved.
> 
> So my question is do you guys "clean" your hair after you shave? I mean wipe your hair off the counter top and at least rinse out the sink.


My electric razor keeps most of the hair in the trap but some still escapes. I think that anything in the sink will just wash away. It wasn't so bad in my last apartment where the hair blended in with the counter top. Unfortunately, it really sticks out on my current white counter top. But I don't want to do maintenance cleaning like that everyday!



> And how do you feel about roommates that leave discarded facial hair lying around the sink and countertop?


Well, I am my only room mate and I'm not complaining!


----------



## Wellsy

Mr. Meepers said:


> So I have a question for guys.
> 
> That last two roommates I had used to leave their facial hair all over the sink (and on some of the countertop around the sink) after they shaved.
> 
> So my question is do you guys "clean" your hair after you shave? I mean wipe your hair off the counter top and at least rinse out the sink.
> And how do you feel about roommates that leave discarded facial hair lying around the sink and countertop?


I do it over the sink and rinse it down. but im still young and not large amounts of facial hair to be shaving off so I can understand it's not going to be too much of a problem for me. Even then though, lately i've just been shaving in the shower, got a little mirror in there and just a quick trim.
Though my brother at times has mad a mess in shaving and not cleaned up. I just get repulsed by mess in bathrooms, I don't even think im some clean freak but I don't like having shit everywhere and covered in some other pricks hair.
If I got hair on soap or something before i leave the shower i'd get it off.


----------



## Dragearen

Ningsta Kitty said:


> If you were to get a bearded dragon, what would you name it?
> *Probably something in a foreign language, like all of my other pets. (my dog is named in Dena'ina, Shesh T**licha, and my horses are named in Icelandic, Drynur and Kisi) And how did you know I want a beardie!?*
> 
> If you had a little girl, and the mom wanted to name her Tokyo, would you be okay with that?
> *Depends on the reason. But mostly I'd want to give her a name that she would be less likely to regret later. So probably not.*
> 
> What is the first thing you think of when you read the word 'Ball' ?
> *Actually, those exercise balls. Except this was a very particular one - a six foot tall one I almost broke my leg from.*
> 
> If you had to choose between the following awful scenarios (medical condition) which would you choose to suffer with the rest of your life: Every time you pee it burns or to never be able to have an orgasm ?
> *I think I would rather not be able to have an orgasm. Assuming, of course, it also gets rid of my sex drive. I may even be able to pull off celibacy. Maybe.*
> 
> If you could get away with saying(asking) ANYTHING to any woman you want
> (picture the most beautiful, hottest, porn-ish dream girl you can think of) what would you say(ask) ?
> *If there's any sort of connection, I would explore that. Maybe I could think of some questions I usually don't have the confidence to ask... Who knows. If not, then why am I around her in the first place?*





Dauntless said:


> I’m sending my questions that come to my mind, without reading the others because I don’t want them to influence my thoughts, so if I duplicate another’s questions, please disregard:
> 
> What instrument did you play? Why that particular one? Do you still play?
> *I have learned piano and guitar, and I have since forgotten almost everything. I am currently trying to teach myself cello. That's not really going so well. I picked cello after I heard my cousin play at a consecration in South Carolina. I fell in love with the instrument instantly.*
> 
> If you could do it all over, would you?
> *Maybe bits and pieces here and there, but nothing major. There are some people I really wish I hadn't lost contact with, who still sometimes cause me pangs of sorrow. But I can live with that. It got me where I am, and that's ok with me.*
> 
> Do you workout/stay physically fit? If so, in what area? Do you involve your family?
> *Sometimes in the winter, yes. Not very diligently though. I typically will work out with my family as well. I dislike doing it as a solitary activity.*
> 
> Do you play games of strategy? Do you feel compelled to win? Why?
> *Right up my alley. I love strategy games, wargames, all those kinds of things. As for being compelled to win... Yeah, for sure. I'm not a sore loser or anything, I just like the rush of being good at something.*
> 
> Do you have siblings? Are you alike? Or are you similar to your parents? If so, how?
> *I have four older brothers, all moved out. The next in line is somewhat similar to me, though we are more different than alike. Our philosophies are especially different. Two of them I actually don't know very well, but again, more different than alike. However, the fourth oldest... I get told a lot that we look, sound, and act just like each other. And we both look, act, and sound just like our father.*
> 
> Best quality about being a man? Worst?
> *Best quality? I don't have to worry about my safety nearly as much. Though I think some girls just get plain paranoid, but that may be me projecting. The worst? The social expectations. As a more "feminine" man, it's sometimes hard for me to meet those.*
> 
> How do you incorporate your death into your life?
> *It is an eventuality. I do not fear it, and sometimes I quite anticipate it. Not as an escape, but as a curiousity. I want to see what will happen.* *I do not mind death, so long as it is not forced upon someone.*
> 
> Poetry, Short stories, and Novels – all wonderful : what’s your favorite and why?
> *Some of my favorite short stories are those by HG Wells. They can be hard to read, but equally interesting in a late 19th century sort of a way.* *As for novels... the song of ice and fire series was amazing. Mostly because the characters were human. They screwed up, and I liked seeing reality in a novel.*
> 
> You wrote “shoot guns” not hunt, does this mean you practice accuracy versus killing, if so, why?
> *I have shot, but as a vegetarian and pacifist, I wouldn't go hunting. But it's fun to plink targets.*
> 
> Why do men use communication to one up the other, when women use it to connect?
> *I don't try to one up people very often. It's usually only when I am either playing video games (you can never give in on video games. Never), a card game, or trying to take down someone's arrogance. In non-competitive scenarios, communication works as a partnership, not as a rivalry.*
> 
> Why is it “friendship” to shave your friend’s eyebrows when he’s drunk and photograph it?
> *Not something I would do personally. As to why? Because some people have a sick sense of humor. >_>*
> 
> When did you first masturbate, and what brought it on?
> *When I was pretty little. Maybe five or six. What brought it on? Beats me, I don't remember.*
> 
> What goals do you have in life? Are they the same as when you were younger?
> *Specific goals I will get to a little bit later in this post. Are they the same? Pretty much, just refined.*
> 
> If you have the mind of a scholar, the abilities of an athlete, the heart of a writer, and soul of a father, what is left for you to seek?
> *Two things - a passion, and a companion. In my opinion, those two would come before many of the above.*
> 
> Why do men ask women out when they know she is single by choice?
> *Me? Because I'm a stubborn bastard with my heart on my sleeve.*
> 
> What is your counsel for women? Why?
> *I'm not sure what you're asking. What kind of counsel?*
> 
> What would you do over?
> *As I said above, there are some people I really wish I hadn't lost contact with.*
> 
> What is the greatest thing you’ve done, and learned?
> *I think this was learning how to do public speaking, and be on stage. At least for me this was a great thing, and I have learned a lot from it.*
> 
> May I follow up if more questions come to mind?
> *Sure, but I don't check this thread very often anymore.  Life's busy and all.*
> 
> Thank you.





Ningsta Kitty said:


> I don't care that you are not interested in me. I'd like to think you'd respect my career as a mom. Absolutely. I have another career but that is not really my career. My number one job is being a mom. I think that I'm surprised to hear you use the phrase ... 'Just a mom' ...
> 
> More Questions:
> 
> 1. What did you want to be when you grew up?
> *A field research biologist working with endangered mammals. Yes, I was that specific.*
> 
> 2. What do you want to do when you grow up?
> *My focus has changed from animals to plants, in some ways. But in other ways it remains the same. My dream is to have an intensive wilderness survival school.*
> 
> 3. Did you have a best friend when you were a little boy? Do you still know the person?
> *Two. I have seen them once or twice since I moved when I was 9.*
> 
> 4. What was your favorite book as a little boy (about let's say 10) ?
> *The Giver was a really thought-provoking book for me. I also liked A Brief History of Time. I was a slightly weird child.*
> 
> 5. Do you remember your favorite pair of pajama's as a little boy?
> (or favorite other piece of clothing) what was it ?
> *I had this cool black button-up shirt with flaming orange Kanji on it. I loved it. Oh, and my purple and green propeller hat. I told you I was a weird child.*





Ningsta Kitty said:


> What do you think is the most common top 5 personality dealbreakers,
> and top 5 physical dealbreakers are for most men.


For most men? No idea. For me:

Personality:
- recklessness
- arrogance
- lack of philosophy (I have to have intellectual stimulation in a relationship)
- inconsistency
- lack of understanding

Physical:
- too much makeup (not a big deal, but still something I don't like)
- dressing immodestly (the more of an attention-whore you dress like, the less I want to give you attention)
- dressing sloppily (again, not a big deal, but it's nice to see someone who dresses nicely when they go in public)
- buns (I really don't know what it is, but I just do NOT like buns. This is probably the most minor thing on this list)
- I'm stuck. I really have nothing big to put on this list.


----------



## Ramysa

Ok mister, here is a question for u :

Why do some men, after being turned down or dumped by a woman , start badmouthing her , lie in order to hurt her and so on?


----------



## 7rr7s

Ningsta Kitty said:


> They say if your second toe is longer than your big toe, that you have more testosterone then the normal. That you're exceptionally charming, good in bed and are a natural born leader.
> What do you think about this?


They are about the same size, so I don't know what this means. This is also the first time I've heard of of this. My feet are also not the same size and I don't rely on them to be charming or good in bed or to lead. That's all mental stuff. They just hurt when I stand for a long time. XD


Mr. Meepers said:


> So I have a question for guys.
> 
> That last two roommates I had used to leave their facial hair all over the sink (and on some of the countertop around the sink) after they shaved.
> 
> So my question is do you guys "clean" your hair after you shave? I mean wipe your hair off the counter top and at least rinse out the sink.
> And how do you feel about roommates that leave discarded facial hair lying around the sink and countertop?


I don't have that problem because I don't grow facial hair, but if I was you I would call them out on it.

Ohh and @_Ramysa_ I don't know, I've never bad mouthed a woman for turning me down. The worst I would say is "fuck it, her loss." but I don't really consider that badmouthing. There are many reasons why things do not work out. Sometimes it's me, sometimes it's her. All you can do is deal with it and move on.


----------



## Wellsy

Ramysa said:


> Ok mister, here is a question for u :
> 
> Why do some men, after being turned down or dumped by a woman , start badmouthing her , lie in order to hurt her and so on?


Those who feel entitled so something are of a sickly mentality.
Any person who suddenly turns on ya like a snake isn't a good person.
I've witness people who one minute are sweet then turn red like the devil and you think well geez aren't you a sweetheart.

I think it's a pretty low thing to do, even if I had a messy and hateful relationship and broke up I'd still try and remember the reasons I actually entered a relationship with that person. Some people are like scorned children and then they go on rant adn ravings, terrible terrible people.


----------



## CrystallineSheep

You know I have heard a male's interpretation of a sexy woman, a smart but meek woman, a rather masculine woman etc. But what a weird 'anti-social' kind of woman? When a guy sees a girl who is weird and socially inept but you know intelligent and also has different ideas and tastes etc. (Just defining 'weird'. Not the bad hygiene or whatever kind) Is that a put off for your average male or a sign that says "Leave that one alone?" Does such a girl like mostly really get a guy who is more or less the same? Regardless of the level of attractiveness and whatnot. I have always wondered. I have only heard guys talk about the 'sexy' girl, the 'cute' girl, 'the smart, funny and shy' girl but never the weird one.


----------



## JaySH

IndustrialClef said:


> You know I have heard a male's interpretation of a sexy woman, a smart but meek woman, a rather masculine woman etc. But what a weird 'anti-social' kind of woman? When a guy sees a girl who is weird and socially inept but you know intelligent and also has different ideas and tastes etc. (Just defining 'weird'. Not the bad hygiene or whatever kind) Is that a put off for your average male or a sign that says "Leave that one alone?" Does such a girl like mostly really get a guy who is more or less the same? Regardless of the level of attractiveness and whatnot. I have always wondered. I have only heard guys talk about the 'sexy' girl, the 'cute' girl, 'the smart, funny and shy' girl but never the weird one.


Well, I can't answer for everyone but, I'd say that most wouldn't define her as weird if they were interested in her....they'd say...unique and/or different when speaking publicly. Being weird, as long as it isn't in ways I find offensive, is a plus in my book. Being socially inept may mean I never meet this woman though....her options would be limited as socializing is necessary to learn about someone. 

That said, I've always got along and been able to draw out the person inside when meeting women (or men)like this. I enjoy the challenge and, more importantly, I like when people are comfortable so do what I can to help that happen...not consciously but, naturally. 

I think if you are one of these "weird" women, and are having difficulties meeting men, try to be or appear more comfortable in social gatherings. Smile a little. Guys talk about woman's breasts, asses and body a lot but, you'd prob be surprised at how many of us first notice eyes and a smile. You don't need I be a social butterfly...just don't come off as completely unapproachable. That's the biggest issue with social awkwardness; it can give off the vibe that the person suffering from it wants be left the fuck alone and, therefor, makes breaking the, seemingly thick, ice that much more difficult for the attracted male. 


Anyways, in short, don't settle. There are no predetermined types you have to date or will attract. I am not put off by "weird" at all...and many would agree it just makes her/you more interesting. :wink:


----------



## Dashing

Ramysa said:


> Ok mister, here is a question for u :
> 
> Why do some men, after being turned down or dumped by a woman , start badmouthing her , lie in order to hurt her and so on?


I've never done this after a break-up. I usually try to get some distance, communication break etc. But I have seen it happen to my friends and family, and I can tell you it's not dependent on gender. Way way way back my best friends girl cheated on him, broke up with him and she started spreading rumors about him. He didn't give a fuck and started seeing another girl, he's still with her.

Moral of the story: EGO. She didn't want to be labeled as something so she tried to conserve her ego by making the other person look bad. This backfired. 

Only really immature people become dicks after a break-up. The best way to deal with it is to ignore it and move on, people WILL notice who is the 'bigger man'.


----------



## android654

Kyandigaru said:


> how aggressive is TOO aggresive when it comes to a woman?


You shouldn't parked outside my window taking pictures with a telescoping lens, that's too aggressive. As long as it comes off as somewhere within the parameters of "human" then I don't thin it's too aggressive.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Do women intimidate you?


In general,? Nah. Growing up I communicated with women way more easily than I did with men, I even remember getting nervous in the fourth grade because it was the first male teacher I had ever had, and I wound up hating that guy intensely. Actually now that I'm thinking about it he was a fucking douche either way. Once I got older I deal with both genders about the same, but I still find it easier to get along with women, or they with me rather than a group of guys.



> If not all, what types do.
> 
> How? Why?


I'm not easily intimidated in a social situation or in my day to day. What does intimidate me is if I feel like someone is encroaching on my person in a psychological or emotional way. I don't like people trying to worm their way into my head, it makes me feel dirty inside, like they're looking for something and my initial reaction is to kick them out. I'm very guarded in that respect, which is why I like keeping things casual in just about every way.



carlaviii said:


> In the interests of keeping this thread on par with the ladies' thread... what's your preferred way to work off an adrenaline high?
> 
> (I'm working on a story where a young guy will be coming out of a sword fight on a serious adrenaline kick. Having kicked ass in a major way.)


Either sex, working out (especially boxing) or driving irresponsibly fast.


----------



## downsowf

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Do women intimidate you?
> 
> If not all, what types do.
> 
> How? Why?


Intimidate- no. Scare me sometimes? perhaps. i.e. emotions can be scary


----------



## downsowf

Kyandigaru said:


> how aggressive is TOO aggresive when it comes to a woman?


depends on the woman


----------



## Kyandigaru

downsowf said:


> depends on the woman


a woman that's unattractive asks for your number, is she too aggressive?

or 

a woman that's attractive, acts like a bully; insulting you and meaning it, is that too aggressive?


----------



## petite libellule

Kyandigaru said:


> a woman that's attractive, acts like a bully; insulting you and meaning it, is that too aggressive?


:sad: But they like it!




LOL!!! :laughing: I'm totally joking! Nobody get too excited. seriously


----------



## android654

Kyandigaru said:


> a woman that's unattractive asks for your number, is she too aggressive?


That's okay.



> a woman that's attractive, acts like a bully; insulting you and meaning it, is that too aggressive?


That's too much.


----------



## petite libellule

according to quiz world, I'm 30% masculine, the "Logical Woman". I think this explains a lot. 
I also hate crying in front of people. I do it like a lady in my hands or a pillow under my breathe  

Now, the question is, because I'm INSISTENT that I NOT be the navigator
(you see, logically I can't be. I have NO sense of direction and can't parallel park), 
what "type" of guy should I be interested in?

*Please answer in analogous form using 1980's TV show, musicians or movie characters.
*
What?! I'm TRYING to make it challenging! Challenge is fun, right? :kitteh:


----------



## downsowf

Kyandigaru said:


> a woman that's unattractive asks for your number, is she too aggressive?


I personally don't find that aggressive. 




> a woman that's attractive, acts like a bully; insulting you and meaning it, is that too aggressive?


i don't find that aggressive either. not sure if i find that too attractive though. if it's playful insults then i might be in the mood for some playful banter, but insults that are mean spirited aren't really a turn on for me.


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> according to quiz world, I'm 30% masculine, the "Logical Woman". I think this explains a lot.
> I also hate crying in front of people. I do it like a lady in my hands or a pillow under my breathe
> 
> Now, the question is, because I'm INSISTENT that I NOT be the navigator
> (you see, logically I can't be. I have NO sense of direction and can't parallel park),
> what "type" of guy should I be interested in?
> 
> *Please answer in analogous form using 1980's TV show, musicians or movie characters.
> *
> What?! I'm TRYING to make it challenging! Challenge is fun, right? :kitteh:


Rick Deckard. He'd never let you touch his car anyway and he'd do all the traditional guy stuff you'd like too.


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> Rick Deckard. He'd never let you touch his car anyway and he'd do all the traditional guy stuff you'd like too.


:laughing: I LIKE IT!


----------



## Kyandigaru

downsowf said:


> I personally don't find that aggressive.
> 
> or
> 
> 
> 
> i don't find that aggressive either. not sure if i find that too attractive though. if it's playful insults then i might be in the mood for some playful banter, but insults that are mean spirited aren't really a turn on for me.


So how does this depend on the woman? as you stated earlier?


----------



## downsowf

Ningsta Kitty said:


> according to quiz world, I'm 30% masculine, the "Logical Woman". I think this explains a lot.
> I also hate crying in front of people. I do it like a lady in my hands or a pillow under my breathe
> 
> Now, the question is, because I'm INSISTENT that I NOT be the navigator
> (you see, logically I can't be. I have NO sense of direction and can't parallel park),
> what "type" of guy should I be interested in?
> 
> *Please answer in analogous form using 1980's TV show, musicians or movie characters.
> *
> What?! I'm TRYING to make it challenging! Challenge is fun, right? :kitteh:


Either Dolph Lundgren






OR 

John Cusack


----------



## downsowf

Kyandigaru said:


> So how does this depend on the woman? as you stated earlier?


if i find her attractive in some way then she can get away with a lot more


----------



## petite libellule

downsowf said:


> John Cusack


Hands down ... John wins

*swooning*


----------



## downsowf

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Hands down ... John wins
> 
> *swooning*


Cusack in _Gross Pointe Blank _was his coolest character, but that was in the 1990s so I couldn't link that movie. No Tom Selleck though


----------



## petite libellule

They say, "A way to a mans heart is through his stomach" ...

Is this true? If not ...

What do you think _is_ the way to a mans heart?


----------



## petite libellule

Often times, women in their dating profiles online, they will make a point of saying how unattractive insecurity is. Now, this question stems from a thread started regarding men and their insecurities and how women perceive them. 

So the question is, how does a woman's insecurity affect her attractiveness level?


----------



## searcheagle

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Often times, women in their dating profiles online, they will make a point of saying how unattractive insecurity is. Now, this question stems from a thread started regarding men and their insecurities and how women perceive them.
> 
> So the question is, how does a woman's insecurity affect her attractiveness level?


It's very unattractive to be with an insecure woman because I don't want to have to spend hours trying to convince her that I think she's beautiful. It raises flags that she is needy of compliments. And of course countless repetitions of "does this make my but look big?" lol.


----------



## downsowf

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Often times, women in their dating profiles online, they will make a point of saying how unattractive insecurity is. Now, this question stems from a thread started regarding men and their insecurities and how women perceive them.
> 
> So the question is, how does a woman's insecurity affect her attractiveness level?


I think there will always be men attracted to insecurity. This is how I see it though: insecure women are vulnerable. Vulnerability attracts opportunists and predators. Therefore, insecure women will attract predators and dirtbags. Look at that amazing logic.


----------



## petite libellule

searcheagle said:


> It's very unattractive to be with an insecure woman because I don't want to have to spend hours trying to convince her that I think she's beautiful. It raises flags that she is needy of compliments. And of course countless repetitions of "does this make my but look big?" lol.


so would it be reasonable (if in a hypothetical), you were 30 yrs older, single, balding and maybe not as endowed as you'd like, and someone after time realized this decided to jump ship opposed to being supportive or what have you. You'd understand then, right? (just playing devils advocate )


----------



## JaySH

milti said:


> Thanks, android! But does sex with different people feel different? (Duh, let me rephrase that lol) Would the act of sex hold more 'special-ness' if it was with someone you really valued/treasured, as opposed to someone you just liked and wanted to have fun with?


I'll answer for me. 

Yes, there is a big difference between just having sex for fun and having an actual connection with the person your with. Sometimes, for me, when I wasn't in the right place mentally/emotionally, I would purposely avoid sex with feelings, if you will, vs just finding someone who wanted to have a casual sex friendship...an FWB, or having one night stands. 

But, for me, there is far more pleasure in having that mental, emotional and physical intimacy when having sex vs just fucking. I enjoy either one, but get far more out of the full intimacy.

That's my $.02


----------



## searcheagle

Ramysa said:


> Hm.. interesting.. But I think u have to be really messed up to do such thing.


#1. People aren't rational.
#2. Hurt people are especially not rational.

Nuff Said.

(Rational meaning not thinking through the full meaning and impact of their decisions to themselves and to others.)


----------



## petite libellule

milti said:


> And also, @_Ningsta Kitty_ 's question - What does sex mean to you? What do you enjoy about it and why do you want it?


okay, you were referring to one of my thousands of questions. for a minute I thought you were asking me! AH! ... NOW I got a dose of my own medicine! I get why people tell me sometimes, "your asking all these 'deep' questions that take time to think about".

I get it now. :blushed:


----------



## petite libellule

Okay, personal question but I don't care if it's not answered so just throwing it out there ...

Is it true, that if a guy has a lot on his mind, is stressed or whatever - 
that it can effect his ability to get completely, ya know *knocks on the table* ?


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Okay, personal question but I don't care if it's not answered so just throwing it out there ...
> 
> Is it true, that if a guy has a lot on his mind, is stressed or whatever -
> that it can effect his ability to get completely, ya know *knocks on the table* ?



The only thing that would affect me in getting an erection is if it was one of those odd moments where I had no interest in sex or if I had no interest in the other person. Any other stuff I have on my mind can wait until later.


----------



## carlaviii

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Is it true, that if a guy has a lot on his mind, is stressed or whatever -
> that it can effect his ability to get completely, ya know *knocks on the table* ?


I'm not a guy, but IME the answer is yes.


----------



## Death Persuades

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Okay, personal question but I don't care if it's not answered so just throwing it out there ...
> 
> Is it true, that if a guy has a lot on his mind, is stressed or whatever -
> that it can effect his ability to get completely, ya know *knocks on the table* ?


If it's an extreme case of stress, and I mean EXTREME, yes. It didn't stop me from getting an erection, but it just wasn't... complete.


----------



## Death Persuades

milti said:


> Men - How would you know it's love?
> 
> And also, @_Ningsta Kitty_ 's question - What does sex mean to you? What do you enjoy about it and why do you want it?



I believe that love is something we choose, not just something that happens. "Falling in love" is something we have no control over, but we consciously choose who to love. That may seem confusing, but I could try explaining better in another thread or PM. I know it's love if I choose to love that person. I rarely "fall in love", though, but it has never really affected my relationships.

Sex is just... the method sexual animals use to procreate... it feels good I guess... I don't really want it, though. Snuggles are much more satisfying to me.


----------



## downsowf

FlightsOfFancy said:


> Do you have an intinsic apprehension with Gay males
> ?


Not at all. I lived in the gayest section of Manhattan for a little bit. That being said I really don't have any gay friends. At times I think I find myself overcompensating when around gay people to show that I'm an ally of the gays.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

phony said:


> Do teenage guys really care if they're dating a virgin?


Um, I am not a teenager, so I have no clue lol ... But if he is really into whether you are a virgin or not, he is probably not worth your time ... unless it has to do with a "moral" value that you also share (but if you don't share the value, then probably not worth your time)




milti said:


> Men - How would you know it's love?


How do I know I am in love? Or that she is in love?

I am not the other person, so I can't say for them ... But lets assume I feel lust for the person and I have romantic feelings for them. The next question would be, is their love? Do I place their happiness and well being above wanting them to be with me? Do I want them to be free and heard? Do I want them to tell me off if I bother them?

Actually I suppose you should feel that way towards all people (or I try too at least), so there is already some love (just a very small amount) right from when you meet them. But they a strong emotional attachment to them grows and respect (If I lose respect for them, I may still deeply love them, but I would not be in love ... it would be a different kind of love)




> And also, @_Ningsta Kitty_ 's question - What does sex mean to you? What do you enjoy about it and why do you want it?


Sex without a connection is just meh ... but just being sexually intimate with someone (let's say without the sex/intercourse itself) is YAY!!! ^__^ 
... I like the intimacy ^__^

I should add that my experience is very limited lol



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Okay, personal question but I don't care if it's not answered so just throwing it out there ...
> 
> Is it true, that if a guy has a lot on his mind, is stressed or whatever -
> that it can effect his ability to get completely, ya know *knocks on the table* ?


Yeah, I think so ... but it I have an SO trying to cuddle with me and kiss me and feel me up (assuming I am not upset with her), then I probably could get it up and I would feel more intimate with her


----------



## Dragearen

FlightsOfFancy said:


> Do you have an intinsic apprehension with Gay males
> ?


Not at all. One of my friends (who, unfortunately, I don't get to see very often as he lives a ways away) is very obviously gay, and it's no issue at all. In fact we had some fun reversing roles with me acting gay and him acting straight. That was interesting. And probably the best teacher I've ever had is also gay. That said, probably almost every one of my friends would not be ok with that. But I live in a very conservative area.



phony said:


> Do teenage guys really care if they're dating a virgin?


Nope. In fact, being a virgin myself, I would feel much more comfortable with somebody who is a virgin themselves.


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> @_wiarumas_ well my index finger is shorter but not by much. the flick people off finger however, is noticeably longer. Does this mean I'm rebellious? Now, my hallux is slightly longer than the second phalange. Each proceeding phalange is slightly shorter than the last, resulting in a ever so slight downward curve to the very last phalange that went - wee wee wee, all the way home. Now, does this mean I have cute toes? Do men like painted toes? Can you pick up a sock on the floor with your toes? What would happen to a persons center of balance if they hadn't any toes? I read somewhere that if the hallux is the longest, then you have the capacity to be a better athlete. Why? I hate sports.
> 
> :tongue:


I don't get "cute" toes. I suppose toes can be cute, but they don't really do anything for me. Painted toes can be nice, but I don't have a preference either way. I am pretty good at using my feet - playing soccer for close to 18 years or so. For balance, I think it depends on what toes. For athletics, I think it's a very minimal advantage related to maxing out physical motions. I suppose its important when milliseconds can make a difference.


----------



## wiarumas

Mr. Meepers said:


> So I have a question for guys.
> 
> That last two roommates I had used to leave their facial hair all over the sink (and on some of the countertop around the sink) after they shaved.
> 
> So my question is do you guys "clean" your hair after you shave? I mean wipe your hair off the counter top and at least rinse out the sink.
> And how do you feel about roommates that leave discarded facial hair lying around the sink and countertop?


I shave in the shower. I had similar issues in my fraternity. What a common culprit is that they shave with water in the sink, it drains after they leave, leaving behind the floating hairs.


----------



## wiarumas

Ramysa said:


> Ok mister, here is a question for u :
> 
> Why do some men, after being turned down or dumped by a woman , start badmouthing her , lie in order to hurt her and so on?


Revenge/reciprocation. Damaged ego for a damaged ego. Women do this too.


----------



## wiarumas

IndustrialClef said:


> You know I have heard a male's interpretation of a sexy woman, a smart but meek woman, a rather masculine woman etc. But what a weird 'anti-social' kind of woman? When a guy sees a girl who is weird and socially inept but you know intelligent and also has different ideas and tastes etc. (Just defining 'weird'. Not the bad hygiene or whatever kind) Is that a put off for your average male or a sign that says "Leave that one alone?" Does such a girl like mostly really get a guy who is more or less the same? Regardless of the level of attractiveness and whatnot. I have always wondered. I have only heard guys talk about the 'sexy' girl, the 'cute' girl, 'the smart, funny and shy' girl but never the weird one.


All those adjectives are subjective. They arent universal definitions. It depends on the own persons interests. Weird may mean different. If a person finds someone weird, they probably won't work out due to differences. Thus, not much talking about the "weird" person in a positive light. Change people though and that same person may be not seen as weird and be considered attractive.


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Random Set ...
> 
> 1. Is there any correlation between character traits of responsibility and what pet a man owns?
> 
> *sometimes. Not always. I always found it interesting of what dog breed a man owns and their personality, but its not always a good indicator. Sometimes though... Enough to be interesting. *
> 
> (like if he can't keep his goldfish alive then maybe I should be concerned )
> 
> 2. When you were a little boy, pre puberty, what were your favorite games to play?
> 
> *football especially in inclement weather (rain, snow), kickball, release*
> 
> 3. When did you first learn there was no tooth fairy, santa etc ? How did you find out?
> 
> *i don't recall ever having a revelation about it. Seemed like a con from the beginning. I guess I was always skeptical never fully believing in it. *
> 
> 4. I posted an article about the top 10 traits of a "real" man in the "sister" thread of questions. Some of it was facetious and just for fun because it's cliche (or at least I hope so! lol!) Some of it was spot on (imo) ...
> 
> in any case, in your opinion, what are the top ten traits of a "real" woman. Yes, this list can be written with a mix of _silly _and _serious_. I appreciate the light hearted nature of these threads. So for fun, entertain me
> 
> *okay you want a chauvinistic, joke answer? There aren't even 10 traits for the "real" woman to have. She just needs to look good in an apron. :wink:*
> 
> Oh! and I have always wondered ...
> 
> Do mustaches tickle your nose if they get too "out of control" ? lol!
> 
> *nope. But I lack experience in that field for an in depth answer. Never had a mustache beyond a week long. *


In quote


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> Do you prefer a woman straight out of the shower, or let's say...had a shower yesterday? If you're picking up what I'm laying down...be honest!!
> 
> *i actually don't like a girl right out if the shower. I don't like wet hair on a girl haha. Has nothing to do with that. I don't mind as long as she showered recently. A day or two is fine depending on the girl. *
> 
> Is there anything women typically get to do that seems kind of fun to you? Like maybe all the makeup and pampering we can do, the awesome selection of sexy heels, maybe the ability to be pregnant? Etc...
> 
> *hmm no not really. Maybe long masterbation sessions? Never really thought of this before. *
> 
> Do you like wrestling around with your SO? Do you like tickling?
> *sure. Especially if it leads into something.
> *


In quote


----------



## wiarumas

carlaviii said:


> In the interests of keeping this thread on par with the ladies' thread... what's your preferred way to work off an adrenaline high?
> 
> (I'm working on a story where a young guy will be coming out of a sword fight on a serious adrenaline kick. Having kicked ass in a major way.)


Weightlifting.


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Do women intimidate you?
> 
> If not all, what types do.
> 
> How? Why?


No mortals, woman nor man intimidate me.


----------



## wiarumas

Kyandigaru said:


> how aggressive is TOO aggresive when it comes to a woman?


I never experienced it, so I can't really say. Most women aren't aggressive enough to be honest. Maybe it would get old if it she was the aggressor and too often.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Dauntless said:


> I stand by my question and word selection, but thank you for the reply. Please use 21st century tech to clone yourself. The world needs more of you.


Thank you, but I am full of faults and I have made plenty of mistakes in my life. ... And I have hurt people in my life that I have cared about too. No one is perfect, but I think we all do our best ^__^

Why did that part of the post came out the way it did ... well, I think I am humble (at least to some extent) and by not view myself as "better" than most other people, that frees me to acknowledge that most other people have a lot of "worth". ... 
I also would like to think that I am a loving person, which means I try to see the beauty in others ... Those two things are probably why I appear the way I do, especially since those two ideas/aspect are very, very important to me (well, being loving at least is something that I value greatly). ... But we all have strengths and we all have weaknesses, perhaps I am very good at showing others my strengths ^__^

Anyway, thank you for the compliment ^__^


----------



## JaySH

Ok mister said:


> Ok mister, here is a question for u :
> 
> Why do some men, after being turned down or dumped by a woman , start badmouthing her , lie in order to hurt her and so on?





> Originally Posted by @redmanXNTP
> I'm not defending the behavior, but is this that difficult to understand?





Ramysa said:


> Well yeah. I never did that , never will. I cannot seam to understand how their mind works. Why would they hurt someone they loved (or love still)? For me , loving someone is like connecting to them entirely. If they hurt, I hurt. Therefore I would never hurt "myself" like that. I know that different ppl love differently , but why destroying? Especially if it's your fault that they left u , but even when it's not...



Well, if you read @_Mr. Meepers_ post (not regarding this question but, his novel, many answers are in there. When we love someone we tend to let many more things go...we tend to be more forgiving. The fact is, for many of us, these things still bother us but they are not the most important of attributes and are overshadowed by the reciprocated love we are receiving. Once that love is not being reciprocated, combined with us being hurt because of it, many tend to "purge" all the underlying pain they've stored away from all the little things we've overlooked by expressing those things to others for support. It also may help with letting go and moving on to focus on the negatives they ignored when in the relationship and ignore the positives they so focused on when they were still together. 

Now, for those who spread lies...if they are in fact doing so (many times the little things we've stored are not things our prior SO is even aware of), it is most likely them being weak and unhealthy individuals who know they had a huge hand in the relationships demise and are rationalizing it just to justify their own negative actions by criminalizing their now ex SO. This may get them support, though unfounded, that they so need as they cannot, alone, deal with the guilt of their own actions which lead to this outcome. 

Clearly these are just my opinions on the matter.


----------



## hela

I am too lazy to look back through this thread, feel free to link me if any of these are old questions and/or bitch at me. 

1. Have you ever been in a fist fight?
2. Do you take or have you taken a martial art?
3. What is your secret vice?
4. What is something that you think of as definitively girly? Restriction: you cannot say "tampon," "vagina," or "tits." 
5. As a kid, did you have a fictional role model (If you dislike the term "role model," substitute "favorite character.") Who was it?

Bonus: Are any of you That Guy who grunts in the gym? If not, have you ever told that guy to stop doing the leg press while grunting? What was the end result?


----------



## Wellsy

hela said:


> I am too lazy to look back through this thread, feel free to link me if any of these are old questions and/or bitch at me.
> 
> *1. Have you ever been in a fist fight?*
> Nope, I'm not particularly violent nor aggressive and most people generally avoid violence except in extreme cases. The times i've been near fights I could've been involved in usually me being so aloof as had me outside of it and most didn't last long, especially with drunks.
> *2. Do you take or have you taken a martial art?
> *Nope, though my friend wanted to try Brazilian jujitsu I think it was called and I went along with him to a few of those until he got settled in.
> *3. What is your secret vice?
> *I don't know, maybe masturbating too much sometimes.
> *4. What is something that you think of as definitively girly? Restriction: you cannot say "tampon," "vagina," or "tits."
> *I suppose there are some boys who speak rather effeminate, I can only assume they've taken it in their identity and done it so much its become natural for them to talk like that. I don't mean soft spoken or anything but some guys really seem to try and emulate girls.
> *5. As a kid, did you have a fictional role model (If you dislike the term "role model," substitute "favorite character.") Who was it?*
> Not really, I played a lot of video games but there isn't one that stands out as a favourite. I liked many characters but I never taken fictional characters as role models.
> 
> Bonus: Are any of you That Guy who grunts in the gym? If not, have you ever told that guy to stop doing the leg press while grunting? What was the end result?


I don't go to the gym, if I do want to work out I prefer to do so at home when alone. It's a private thing for me and I don't want people around me. So never been in this situation.


----------



## JaySH

hela said:


> I am too lazy to look back through this thread, feel free to link me if any of these are old questions and/or bitch at me.
> 
> 1. Have you ever been in a fist fight?
> Yes, quite a few actually. Most important and rewarding was my mother's abusive boyfriend...fortunately I had been in quite a few because he was supposedly tough but didn't fare too well in any of the 3 we had.
> 2. Do you take or have you taken a martial art?
> No but I was given some tutorials from my cousins who were into martial arts and had been in state tournaments. My brother in law is well versed in Martial Arts as well and I've learned a little from him. Wish I had more time to do it myself...I just practice what I do know as part of a workout on a standup punching bag.
> 3. What is your secret vice?
> 
> I don't have secret vices...mine are in the open. Currently PerC is high on the vice list (shortly following is ads from "The Onion"
> 
> 4. What is something that you think of as definitively girly? Restriction: you cannot say "tampon," "vagina," or "tits.
> 
> Make-up
> Curlers
> Barbies
> Stockings (not Christmas)
> Purses(though, part of me envies you females as my pockets are often so damn full!)
> 5. As a kid, did you have a fictional role model (If you dislike the term "role model," substitute "favorite character.") Who was it?
> 
> Yeah. Rocky Balboa, Superman, The Great American Hero(as a kid I didn't realize how "spoofy" this was) and He-Man
> 
> Bonus: Are any of you That Guy who grunts in the gym? If not, have you ever told that guy to stop doing the leg press while grunting? What was the end result?


I don't go to the gym but, when I work out (as well as do other...strenuous activities) I often grunt. For working out, it seems to help the psyche to grunt when you're really pushing yourself to your limits.


----------



## android654

hela said:


> I am too lazy to look back through this thread, feel free to link me if any of these are old questions and/or bitch at me.
> 
> 1. Have you ever been in a fist fight?


More than a few.



> 2. Do you take or have you taken a martial art?


Muay Thai for 6+ years, American boxing for about 1.5.



> 3. What is your secret vice?


You've got to earn that answer.



> 4. What is something that you think of as definitively girly? Restriction: you cannot say "tampon," "vagina," or "tits."


Not necessarily "girly," but I find women fall into these things more than men do. Shitty t.v. dramas with any weak element of relationships as a selling point of that drama, ignoring the quality of writing, acting and directing of it as a means to test it's value. Popular books, the ones that have no real value as literature, but have some theme of romance or sex even though those elements are weak within those narratives. Iphone games that are more wastes of money that actual games. 



> 5. As a kid, did you have a fictional role model (If you dislike the term "role model," substitute "favorite character.") Who was it?


If I had to say one, it was probably Indiana Jones.



> Bonus: Are any of you That Guy who grunts in the gym?


I don't grunt, I put my focus where it need to be.



> If not, have you ever told that guy to stop doing the leg press while grunting? What was the end result?


I'm practically surgically attached to my Ipod, so I rarely hear things I don't want to. However, if someone is being that big of an annoyance at a place where I *have* to be for more than a hour a day everyday, I'd mention it politely, then ask him to stop politely. If that didn't go over well, I wouldn't ask as nicely.


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> man question:
> 
> what are your thoughts on these two statements:
> 
> 1. respect is to a man as love is to a woman.
> 
> *flase; unrelated*
> 
> 2. hearts are like brains, they go where they're appreciated.
> 
> *false, takes more than appreciation for the heart (and most likely the brain as well)*


In quote


----------



## wiarumas

Kutenevilike said:


> What does it mean when a guy answers a lot of your questions with 'Because I love you.' ?
> 
> 
> Why are you being so nice?
> 
> Why do you put up with my ramblings?
> 
> Why have you forgiven me?
> 
> Why are you still here?
> 
> He says: 'Because I love you!'
> 
> 
> I don't know. I think I might be reading into it too much. >.<
> 
> Maybe I'm in denial that someone actually loves me. *shrug*


It's just a quick answer for simplicity's sake. Not saying he doesn't love you, it's just a way to summarize the actual intentions/motives.


----------



## Peripatetic

hela said:


> Bonus: Are any of you That Guy who grunts in the gym? If not, have you ever told that guy to stop doing the leg press while grunting? What was the end result?


Haha in my teens I was super into working out & I loved those guys, always made friends with them. Although one time one of them was giving me a ride home and just abruptly passed my house and went to his despite my wide eyed protests. I was sure rape would ensue. But it was actually a nice time. He just didn't have any friends so we had a protein shake and he showed me his movie collection.


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Do you think it is easier to give your respect to someone, or your love?
> 
> do you think, if you HAD to choose (like you are in some twisted twilight episode okay) , would you prefer to be with a woman that respected you (gave you what you need) and didn't lavish you with love. Or would you choose the woman who lavishes you with love but can be disrespectful (like with your home, privacy, or whatever) ...
> 
> In other words,
> 
> I guess what I'm trying to ask is do you think , between the 2 needs, being love and respect, which one is more important? or if they are both important, which one do you think lacks more - generally. as in, which one are women less likely to provide.


They are two different things, but you cannot have love without respect. If a person doesn't respect you, you might as well be a bag of flesh walking around for sexual purposes and other things. Likewise, respect isn't a reason to keep a person around. It is something that everyone should provide a person with. If you don't have it, demand it. This is with strangers let alone the person of "love."


----------



## hela

Peripatetic said:


> Haha in my teens I was super into working out & I loved those guys, always made friends with them. Although one time one of them was giving me a ride home and just abruptly passed my house and went to his despite my wide eyed protests. I was sure rape would ensue. But it was actually a nice time. He just didn't have any friends so we had a protein shake and he showed me his movie collection.


I loved this story.


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> thank you. That is actually what I was looking for. I could be wrong but I think men are better at taking behavior over words. love and respect are kinda like 2 sides of the same coin. It's which side you're more in tune with, I think. I also think women are kinda stupid in the game of love and place much more importance on words (when they're young ) which sadly, I am not. I kinda miss those stupid days :/
> 
> Another question:
> 
> Is there any kind of "naivness" in males that you kinda, outgrow? or learn.
> Like, as a young man(teenager/boy), what is a common pitfall, or mind trap ...
> I hope you get what I'm trying to ask here :frustrating:
> 
> last question:
> 
> why am I so curious about everything ???


The common trap of young men is to chase tail - girls and sex - and not meaningful relationships. In my youth I dated good looking door knobs simply because they let me have sex with them and learned to cope with the rest of them. 

You are curious because you like to learn. No shame in it.


----------



## wiarumas

hela said:


> I am too lazy to look back through this thread, feel free to link me if any of these are old questions and/or bitch at me.
> 
> 1. Have you ever been in a fist fight?
> 
> *yes, a couple ranging from childhood (elementary school age) to college. *
> 
> 2. Do you take or have you taken a martial art?
> 
> White belt in karate. Took it as a gym credit in college. Karate individuals may find the humor in this haha. Also boxed from the ages of around 16-20 in a club setting.
> 
> 3. What is your secret vice?
> 
> *not so secret, but I definitely consume a modest amount of alcohol. *
> 
> 4. What is something that you think of as definitively girly? Restriction: you cannot say "tampon," "vagina," or "tits."
> 
> *pigtails*
> 
> 5. As a kid, did you have a fictional role model (If you dislike the term "role model," substitute "favorite character.") Who was it?
> 
> *ive never in my life had any role models. I always lived my own life and aspired to be an inspiration to others. Not retracing the steps of a another person. *
> 
> Bonus: Are any of you That Guy who grunts in the gym? If not, have you ever told that guy to stop doing the leg press while grunting? What was the end result?
> 
> *i don't consistently grunt or do it for attention, but I'll have made some quieter noises in the past. Mostly a loud exhale on a bench press. It's proper technique, but some people do overdo it - I assume for attention. *


In quote


----------



## William I am

phony said:


> Do teenage guys really care if they're dating a virgin?


No... Most of them are virgins themselves. Anyone saying it's a bad thing should be categorically told to get bent.




milti said:


> Men - How would you know it's love?
> 
> And also, @_Ningsta Kitty_ 's question - What does sex mean to you? What do you enjoy about it and why do you want it?


Hmm. How do we know? That's actually pretty hard to be sure about, but generally, I feel like there's a little helium baloon where my heart is. I feel like there's a little magical rope pulling me - like a kite's attached to my heart in a good way. 
That, and they're on my mind all the time, along with a few other things.




milti said:


> Thanks, android! But does sex with different people feel different? (Duh, let me rephrase that lol) Would the act of sex hold more 'special-ness' if it was with someone you really valued/treasured, as opposed to someone you just liked and wanted to have fun with?


First off.... Hahah 
Second - yes. Sex with feelings is infinitely nicer than sex without.... for me... although I've only had sex once without feelings being involved, and even then, we had a brief encounter to get a feel for each other first. I think that I'd actually have to talk to a stranger long enough to know I didn't hate them to sleep with them. 



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Okay, personal question but I don't care if it's not answered so just throwing it out there ...
> 
> Is it true, that if a guy has a lot on his mind, is stressed or whatever -
> that it can effect his ability to get completely, ya know *knocks on the table* ?


Yep. Especially if they're worried about the relationship. Other things can be to blame though. If it's a consistent problem (especially when masturbating alone), talk to a doctor. 



Mr. Meepers said:


> So I have a question for guys.
> 
> That last two roommates I had used to leave their facial hair all over the sink (and on some of the countertop around the sink) after they shaved.
> 
> So my question is do you guys "clean" your hair after you shave? I mean wipe your hair off the counter top and at least rinse out the sink.
> And how do you feel about roommates that leave discarded facial hair lying around the sink and countertop?


Yes - I clean it up every time. Seriously, leaving it there is gross and disrespectful.



Enfpleasantly said:


> Do you prefer a woman straight out of the shower, or let's say...had a shower yesterday? If you're picking up what I'm laying down...be honest!!
> 
> Is there anything women typically get to do that seems kind of fun to you? Like maybe all the makeup and pampering we can do, the awesome selection of sexy heels, maybe the ability to be pregnant? Etc...
> 
> Do you like wrestling around with your SO? Do you like tickling?


I love tickling and like wrestling, though wrestling has gotten to be less than fun a few times when it got too serious.
A shower any time is fine, but I also do not like wet hair all over me. It's too darn cold.
I think probably all of those things you just mentioned are things that seem fun. I went drag bowling a while ago with a bunch of my neighbors, and it was fun to dress up. Then again, I like to dress up in mens clothing too. I think I just feel debonair.
As far as pregnancy goes, that's a deep, or at least multi-faceted question.
It would be fulfilling, certainly. It would also be worrisome. I would be comforted by my ability to have control over a fetus I might carry. As a man, I worry that once I've had intercourse, I've lost control over what happens in regards to a potential child beign born. 
I've been worried before that I could have a child hidden from me. After the non-mutual abrupt end of a particular long-term relationship, I was buying plane tickets. That night, I had a nightmare that the woman I had been with had hidden our child from me, and that I found out by stumbling into them at the airport. That dream ranks among my top 5 worst nightmares of all time. It might just be the worst. 



phony said:


> Do you like the smell of your own sweat?


Ehhh, I like some aspects of it, but it's pretty gross.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Another question:
> 
> Is there any kind of "naivness" in males that you kinda, outgrow? or learn.
> Like, as a young man(teenager/boy), what is a common pitfall, or mind trap ...
> I hope you get what I'm trying to ask here :frustrating:
> 
> last question:
> 
> why am I so curious about everything ???


1) Niavety... Yes. Personally, I always thought women knew more than I did about a lot of things. Slowly, that dissolved and I realized that we're all people with similarly limited information and decision making skills. 
A common pitfall is believing women to be superior somehow.
@_hela_ 

1. Have you ever been in a fist fight?
Sort of. I've been punched a few times, including being sucker punched in a bar bathroom (he wound up landing in the urinal when he tried to do it again), but no "real" fistfights with all the talk beforehand. 

2. Do you take or have you taken a martial art?
Sort of. A little bit of Aikido (helped with the bathroom sucker-punch), and tai chi (yang, short form). I really want to take hapkido.

3. What is your secret vice?
My what? Probably eating junk food. Or buying junk. Or wanting to sleep with half the people I see.

4. What is something that you think of as definitively girly? Restriction: you cannot say "tampon," "vagina," or "tits." 
If you're looking for a body-part centric thing, then probably hips, toned shoulders, and a fit stomach with soft skin a touch of soft subcutaneous fat to make everything wonderfully nice to touch. In particular, bellies that look like this one: http://www.drunktiki.com/2011/10/10/hedgehog-on-girl-belly/hedgehog-on-girl-belly-2/ There's something about that seam.
If you mean in general, probably a giggle, maybe shyness, maybe I'll get back to this one. 

5. As a kid, did you have a fictional role model (If you dislike the term "role model," substitute "favorite character.") Who was it?
Uhhhmm. I don't remember. Maybe Sherlock Holmes?

Bonus: Are any of you That Guy who grunts in the gym? If not, have you ever told that guy to stop doing the leg press while grunting? What was the end result?
Nope to all that.


----------



## phony

I think alcohol tastes icky. Did you use to think it tastes icky? What does it taste like to you now?

Have you ever tried wearing "women's clothing"? Did you like it?


----------



## phony

btw I sort of like the smell of my own sweat... not excessive sweat from when I go to the gym or when it's really hot out, but sometimes after a full day when I lie down on the floor and I can sort of smell myself, I think I smell good 

I know a guy who, after I said he stinks, told me that guys just have a stronger stink and that's why my sweat doesn't smell as bad. I think that's BS, and I'm just weird


----------



## redmanXNTP

Ramysa said:


> Well yeah. I never did that , never will. I cannot seam to understand how their mind works. Why would they hurt someone they loved (or love still)? For me , loving someone is like connecting to them entirely. If they hurt, I hurt. Therefore I would never hurt "myself" like that. I know that different ppl love differently , but why destroying? Especially if it's your fault that they left u , but even when it's not...


Villifying someone makes it easier for some people to separate emotionally and stay away. 

As for it being "your fault", a good many people (most?) are at least initially not objective enough to acknowledge or even know that so, again, it's easier just to focus on your anger. This is just the "a woman scorned" syndrome which, as we're discussing, isn't unique to women at all.


----------



## Kyandigaru

i just have to ask this question to men....

long labias or not? LOL


----------



## Mr. Meepers

hela said:


> I am too lazy to look back through this thread, feel free to link me if any of these are old questions and/or bitch at me.
> 
> 1. Have you ever been in a fist fight?


I'm going to sound like the biggest wuss here lol, but no, thankfully I have not. ... back in high school and middle school my friends would punch me and I would (usually lightly) punch back some of the time, put that was more playfulness.

Although, usually I don't like when others get hurt, I have to admit that I did find it funny when someone hurt themselves while punching me (I think the funnies one was when one of my friends threw his fist down like a hammer and the soft part of the hand landed on a bony part near my shoulder and he bruised his hand. It was just bad placement of his punch, but I still teased him a little about it).




> 2. Do you take or have you taken a martial art?


Unless wrestling counts (which I assume it does not), then no



> 3. What is your secret vice?


Food (all food ... not just something like "chocolate", I mean just about ALL foods ... especially meat ... especially sweet meats) .... an unwillingness to go to sleep sometimes .... (when I am single) women :tongue::crazy: 

Um, I'm not sure any of these are secrets lol

I'm usually fairly laid back, so I suppose all the vises that come with that ... Laziness, probably

What I like in bed :wink: //jk

Okay ... Lets go with:
Sloth, Gluttony, and Lust



> 4. What is something that you think of as definitively girly? Restriction: you cannot say "tampon," "vagina," or "tits."


Pink Frills 

Actually, talking out things that are designed for women's bodies or women's bodies themselves, I don't like the label of "girly" as it creates, imo, an unneeded social norm. And I think we assign gender to too many things. It is just stuff, who cares who likes it lol 



> 5. As a kid, did you have a fictional role model (If you dislike the term "role model," substitute "favorite character.") Who was it?


I'm terrible with these "as a kid" questions lol ... I don't remember having a fictional role model or fictional characters ... My Mom was my favorite real role model though ^__^



> Bonus: Are any of you That Guy who grunts in the gym? If not, have you ever told that guy to stop doing the leg press while grunting? What was the end result?


No. I'm not ... I breath out quietly (I am very focused and I pay attention to my breathing when I lift heavy weights ... I need to work out again before I become weak )
But, I don't hear it much and it does not bother me. I once new a guy who grunted while finishing a race. And I know it can sound annoying, but sometimes when you are exerting all your force into something you may appear to look angry (apparently I do) and, the grunt is a way to just feel like you are expelling all your energy. Personally, I prefer to quietly exhale, but I can get tense when I am struggling.



phony said:


> I think alcohol tastes icky. Did you use to think it tastes icky? What does it taste like to you now?
> 
> Have you ever tried wearing "women's clothing"? Did you like it?


Yeah, I did (and sometimes still do )
Sometimes, I though, I don't taste it (such as in some mixed drinks and soft wines) and I am noticing that I am getting more and more used to it. ... I'm going to loose my ability to post in this thread lol, but so far I don't like any of the beers I had.

Some "harder" drinks actually better. For instance, I've had jagermeister and it tastes pretty good (although the last time. I felt a slight burning, but nothing much).
Although, not all "strong" drinks taste good ... I'm not a fan of vodka (if it is strong, it tastes worst than apple cider vinegar).

Some mixed drinks can be good too. Such as pumpkin pie liquor mixed with just a little bit of rum (one of my roommates last year would add a splash or rice milk to his)

Bear in mind that I'm not a drinker and I don't like a lot of alcoholic drinks (it is weird, because I am usually not picky, but with alcohol I am), but even I have found things I liked



phony said:


> btw I sort of like the smell of my own sweat... not excessive sweat from when I go to the gym or when it's really hot out, but sometimes after a full day when I lie down on the floor and I can sort of smell myself, I think I smell good
> 
> I know a guy who, after I said he stinks, told me that guys just have a stronger stink and that's why my sweat doesn't smell as bad. I think that's BS, and I'm just weird


I think guys do* usually* smell worse when they sweat ... or maybe that is just me :tongue:




Kyandigaru said:


> i just have to ask this question to men....
> 
> long labias or not? LOL


Why am I so inexperienced lol. ... For now, I'm going to say that it does not matter. ... My research is still on going and I'll come back with the results at a later time

... But for now, I'm going to do somethings FOR SCIENCE!!


----------



## Kyandigaru

Mr. Meepers said:


> Why am I so inexperienced lol. ... For now, I'm going to say that it does not matter. ... My research is still on going and I'll come back with the results at a later time
> 
> ... But for now, I'm going to do somethings FOR SCIENCE!!


You'll be surprised some men have preference for vaginas. LOL Well, at least young men.


----------



## 7rr7s

IndustrialClef said:


> You know I have heard a male's interpretation of a sexy woman, a smart but meek woman, a rather masculine woman etc. But what a weird 'anti-social' kind of woman? When a guy sees a girl who is weird and socially inept but you know intelligent and also has different ideas and tastes etc. (Just defining 'weird'. Not the bad hygiene or whatever kind) Is that a put off for your average male or a sign that says "Leave that one alone?" Does such a girl like mostly really get a guy who is more or less the same? Regardless of the level of attractiveness and whatnot. I have always wondered. I have only heard guys talk about the 'sexy' girl, the 'cute' girl, 'the smart, funny and shy' girl but never the weird one.


Does not compute. I like the "wierd' girls.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Random Set ...
> 
> 1. Is there any correlation between character traits of responsibility and what pet a man owns?
> 
> (like if he can't keep his goldfish alive then maybe I should be concerned )
> 
> *I don't know. I found that all my extroverted friends are really into cats, but me and my other INFJ friend are all about dogs. I think maybe they balance out introversion and extroversion nicely, but who knows. And with the goldfish example it means they are responsible I guess. Also, with dogs you have to train them, and this can help you with leadership if you struggle with that. *
> 
> 2. When you were a little boy, pre puberty, what were your favorite games to play?
> 
> *Me and my friend would **play "action games" and wold pretend we were adventurers. I was always Indiana Jones and he was always James Bond. We ran around the house, with toy **guns and swords and went wild with our imagination. Aside from that, I liked playing tag because it's very fast paced and competitive. I also liked rough housing because it got out aggression and energy. But my favorite toys were legos.*
> 
> 3. When did you first learn there was no tooth fairy, santa etc ? How did you find out?
> 
> *Pretty late actually. I just kind of figured it out one day. *
> 
> 4. I posted an article about the top 10 traits of a "real" man in the "sister" thread of questions. Some of it was facetious and just for fun because it's cliche (or at least I hope so! lol!) Some of it was spot on (imo) ...
> 
> in any case, in your opinion, what are the top ten traits of a "real" woman. Yes, this list can be written with a mix of _silly _and _serious_. I appreciate the light hearted nature of these threads. So for fun, entertain me
> 
> *In no order:
> 
> 1. Passionate.
> 2. Sensual.
> 3. Intelligent.
> 4. Nurturing.
> 5. Feminine.
> 6. Sexual.
> 7. Kind.
> 8. **Curious.
> 9. Healthy.
> 10. Adventurous.*
> 
> Oh! and I have always wondered ...
> 
> Do mustaches tickle your nose if they get too "out of control" ? lol!


Loll I don't know, I've never had a mustache. 



Enfpleasantly said:


> Do you prefer a woman straight out of the shower, or let's say...had a shower yesterday? If you're picking up what I'm laying down...be honest!!
> 
> *Doesn't matter as long as she's not totally grimy. *
> 
> Is there anything women typically get to do that seems kind of fun to you? Like maybe all the makeup and pampering we can do, the awesome selection of sexy heels, maybe the ability to be pregnant? Etc...
> 
> *I wish I was as passionate about shoes as you guys. XD Also, ladies night is pretty damn cool. *
> 
> Do you like wrestling around with your SO? Do you like tickling?


Playful wrestling, but I am VERY ticklish and can't stand it. 



carlaviii said:


> In the interests of keeping this thread on par with the ladies' thread... what's your preferred way to work off an adrenaline high?
> 
> (I'm working on a story where a young guy will be coming out of a sword fight on a serious adrenaline kick. Having kicked ass in a major way.)


Smoke a cigarette. Take some deep breaths. Smile. Although it depends on the activity. Sex? A fight? A close brush with death? All of those will elicit a different reaction from me.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Do women intimidate you?
> 
> If not all, what types do.
> 
> How? Why?


I wouldn't call it intimidation, but more like a curiosity like Hmmm I wonder what she is all about, or I wonder what will happen if I talk to her. Sometimes they look like they are in super rage PMS mode and I don't want to deal with that, but that's the closest it gets to intimidation. 



Kyandigaru said:


> how aggressive is TOO aggresive when it comes to a woman?


Physical and verbal attacks. 



Kyandigaru said:


> a woman that's unattractive asks for your number, is she too aggressive?
> 
> or
> 
> a woman that's attractive, acts like a bully; insulting you and meaning it, is that too aggressive?


No, that's flattering and more women should do it. If she's bullying me though that's too far. Sometimes she might just be joking but taking it too far and in that case I will tell her to stop, but if she's really being a bully that is way too far. 



Ningsta Kitty said:


> according to quiz world, I'm 30% masculine, the "Logical Woman". I think this explains a lot.
> I also hate crying in front of people. I do it like a lady in my hands or a pillow under my breathe
> 
> Now, the question is, because I'm INSISTENT that I NOT be the navigator
> (you see, logically I can't be. I have NO sense of direction and can't parallel park),
> what "type" of guy should I be interested in?
> 
> *Please answer in analogous form using 1980's TV show, musicians or movie characters.
> *
> What?! I'm TRYING to make it challenging! Challenge is fun, right? :kitteh:


Hmmm, I think Marty McFly from Back To The Future would be a good fit for you. He certainly has a bitching ride he can take you around town in. 



Ningsta Kitty said:


> They say, "A way to a mans heart is through his stomach" ...
> 
> Is this true? If not ...
> 
> What do you think _is_ the way to a mans heart?


This is pretty accurate. A good meal is always appreciated, especially if it's homemade. A blowjob is always a solid idea as well. 



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Often times, women in their dating profiles online, they will make a point of saying how unattractive insecurity is. Now, this question stems from a thread started regarding men and their insecurities and how women perceive them.
> 
> So the question is, how does a woman's insecurity affect her attractiveness level?


It depends on how severe it is. Everyone has insecurities and I think what's most sad about them is that people can't see their own greatness. I might think she is absolutely amazing, and it's sad when she can't see that too. But sometimes they can use it as a crutch and when they do nothing to get past it, then it becomes a problem. I'm always growing and pushing myself and I want to be with people who are on the same page as me, not people who are stagnant.


----------



## 7rr7s

Ningsta Kitty said:


> actually I LOVE this thought.
> 
> Side question, I'd like to think I'm a pretty confident person. actually, I know I am (not to sound cocky) however, I do have insecurities. I openly admit them and do my best to work on them. Would this make me a danger! "insecure" red flagged. ?


Nah, more like "wow this is a pretty awesome person." *sly smile.* I like your style. Respect. 



FlightsOfFancy said:


> Do you have an intinsic apprehension with Gay males
> ?


Not really. They've taught me some things. I now know what women go through getting hit on by creeps they have no interest in. They also compliment me alot which is always nice. One thing I don't like or understand though, is the gay accent. Is it to be more feminine? Or a hormonal thing? I don't know but it annoys the shit out of me.



phony said:


> Do teenage guys really care if they're dating a virgin?


When I was a teenager I just wanted to date somebody. Virgin or no virgin didn't really matter. 



milti said:


> Men - How would you know it's love?
> 
> *I don't believe in it. All it is is chemical reactions and endorphins in the body. Maybe one day I will meet a woman who will change my mind though. *
> 
> And also, @_Ningsta Kitty_ 's question - What does sex mean to you? What do you enjoy about it and why do you want it?


Sex is a precious gift two (or more ;D)people give each other. There's different kinds of sex though. A quick fuck, one night stand, slow tender lovemaking, hate sex, intense ravenous fucking, and everything in between. I enjoy everything about it. I want to take my woman places, show her things she's never felt before, to taste her soul and transcend the mere physical aspect of it. It's an intense bonding experience, when you ride the waves of passion, and explore new depths to each other. It makes you feel alive like nothing else in the world. It's pretty damn beautiful. 



milti said:


> Thanks, android! But does sex with different people feel different? (Duh, let me rephrase that lol) Would the act of sex hold more 'special-ness' if it was with someone you really valued/treasured, as opposed to someone you just liked and wanted to have fun with?


Of course every woman will be different. And even then it will be different even with the same person. Sure you can have drunk sex with a fuck buddy or someone you met at the bar, but it's different when you are in a relationship. When you are passionate about someone, and they are passionate about you, it's a glorious feeling. When you look into their eyes during the most blissful and intense moments, right as you are about to climax, you reveal a part of each other that you see in no other time. Those are some of the most beautiful moments anyone can be graced with. 



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Okay, personal question but I don't care if it's not answered so just throwing it out there ...
> 
> Is it true, that if a guy has a lot on his mind, is stressed or whatever -
> that it can effect his ability to get completely, ya know *knocks on the table* ?


I've never had that problem. The only time it feels like wet spaghetti is after I've had sex multiple times in one day or if I have liqour dick. 



Kyandigaru said:


> when you date a girl fellas, how much does your friend's opinions matter?! [sorry if someone answered this already!]
> *
> It matters somewhat, but at the end of the day I value my own opinion above theirs. It's my life and my woman and if they can't see the beauty I see in her, it's their loss not mine. *
> 
> and
> 
> If a girl's family is warning you about her, but your been dating her for two months and think she's fine, would this be alarming to you?


Depends on what they are warning me about. Drug addiction? STDs? A long line of ex boyfriends who died under mysterious circumstances? Those would be red flags for sure, but I think I would have figured it out by two months. Again, I value my own opinion of her over theirs, but I would take into consideration what they had to say. I would also question why they would say it, and not build her up instead. 



phony said:


> Do you like the smell of your own sweat?


Yeah it's allright. It kind of smells like popcorn actually. Loll. 



Ningsta Kitty said:


> man question:
> 
> what are your thoughts on these two statements:
> 
> 1. respect is to a man as love is to a woman.
> 
> *I'm not sure I understand that. Respect and love I feel are valued pretty much the same regardless of gender.*
> 
> 2. hearts are like brains, they go where they're appreciated.


Not always. I know plenty of people who stay in shitty circumstances and relationships with people who don't appreciate them. You can't always help who you fall for, but you always have choice on how to handle it, and it's sad to see someone sticking around when they are not appreciated.



Kutenevilike said:


> What does it mean when a guy answers a lot of your questions with 'Because I love you.' ?
> 
> 
> Why are you being so nice?
> 
> Why do you put up with my ramblings?
> 
> Why have you forgiven me?
> 
> Why are you still here?
> 
> He says: 'Because I love you!'
> 
> 
> I don't know. I think I might be reading into it too much. >.<
> 
> Maybe I'm in denial that someone actually loves me. *shrug*


Depends on how they say it. Jokingly? Seriously? Pathetically? Sincerely? If he's with you, he enjoys having you around. You are lovable. Deal with it.  



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Do you think it is easier to give your respect to someone, or your love?
> 
> do you think, if you HAD to choose (like you are in some twisted twilight episode okay) , would you prefer to be with a woman that respected you (gave you what you need) and didn't lavish you with love. Or would you choose the woman who lavishes you with love but can be disrespectful (like with your home, privacy, or whatever) ...
> 
> In other words,
> 
> I guess what I'm trying to ask is do you think , between the 2 needs, being love and respect, which one is more important? or if they are both important, which one do you think lacks more - generally. as in, which one are women less likely to provide.


It's easier to give my love. I love all sorts of things. I give my love freely, but my respect you have to earn. Now, for the second question: 

I need both, so if she couldn't give me both I wouldn't be with her. How can she love me if she doesn't respect me? I think I would rather have respect though. She can hate me, but as long as she respects me I'm okay with it. I think women lack respect more, but I think this says more about the males than the women. 



Ningsta Kitty said:


> thank you. That is actually what I was looking for. I could be wrong but I think men are better at taking behavior over words. love and respect are kinda like 2 sides of the same coin. It's which side you're more in tune with, I think. I also think women are kinda stupid in the game of love and place much more importance on words (when they're young ) which sadly, I am not. I kinda miss those stupid days :/
> 
> Another question:
> 
> Is there any kind of "naivness" in males that you kinda, outgrow? or learn.
> Like, as a young man(teenager/boy), what is a common pitfall, or mind trap ...
> I hope you get what I'm trying to ask here :frustrating:
> 
> *When you are a boy, you want to be the hero. You grow up wanting to be like Batman or James Bond or Rambo. You think you're invincible, because the hero always wins. He always defeats the bad guy, always gets the girl, always rides off into the sunset. **The hero believes himself to be invincible. But when you reach manhood, you see through the fantasy.*
> *
> When you reach manhood you realize that you are not invincible. You realize you are going to die one day and this gives meaning to your actions. This can be scary, or enlightening, but often times both. **You move from the mindset of the hero to the mindset of the warrior. Warriors can be wounded, and killed, and that's scary. Every man deals with this reality in different ways. Some men retreat from life, some men succumb to vice and distractions to try to block this out, and this can manifest in bad ways like addictions, sexual promiscuity, workalholism, ect. This is still boy mentality though.
> 
> But when you start getting your shit together and becoming more responsible and leaning into life and your fears, you start to leave the* *boy mentality behind. This can happen at any age, but you shed most of it in your twenties. But not always. I know some men younger than me who are model citizens of what a good man should be, and I also know men in their 40s who still act like a child. *
> 
> *I'm a young man at 25, and I'm still learning new things everyday. That's something I will never stop doing in life.*
> 
> last question:
> 
> why am I so curious about everything ???


I don't know, but I really like that about you. You still have that sense of wonderment a child has when they experience the world for the first time. There's an innocence about you that is really endearing. Never lose that sense of curiosity Ningsta, because it's a beautiful thing.


----------



## phony

KindOfBlue06 said:


> a) Sex is a precious gift two (or more ;D)people give each other. There's different kinds of sex though. A quick fuck, one night stand, slow tender lovemaking, *hate sex*, intense ravenous fucking, and everything in between. I enjoy everything about it. I want to take my woman places, show her things she's never felt before, to taste her soul and transcend the mere physical aspect of it. It's an intense bonding experience, when you ride the waves of passion, and explore new depths to each other. It makes you feel alive like nothing else in the world. It's pretty damn beautiful.
> 
> 
> 
> b) I've never had that problem. The only time it feels like wet spaghetti is after I've had sex multiple times in one day or if I have *liqour dick. *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> c) Yeah it's allright. It kind of smells like popcorn actually. Loll.


a) Hate sex?! :shocked: Lol what is hate sex?
Person 1: ahamagawwwd you're a terrible human being.
Person 2: ughhh no _you_, It ticks me off just looking at you, I HATE YOU. 
Person 1: I HATE _YOU_.
Person 2: DO YOU WANNA PUT YOUR MOUTH ON MY MOUTH?
Person 1: YES LETS.
Person 2: MUAAAA_ISTILL_MUAHHHSLOPSLOP_HATEYOUR_SLOBBERRR_GUTSSSS_
Person 1: _SCREW_OMNOMM_YOUUU_

b) Is that a type of alcohol?

c) That sounds lovely!


----------



## wiarumas

phony said:


> I think alcohol tastes icky. Did you use to think it tastes icky? What does it taste like to you now?
> 
> Have you ever tried wearing "women's clothing"? Did you like it?


I don't think alcohol tastes icky. I like the taste of it - strong beers, straight whiskey, wines, etc. I taste the complexities of it... Ingredients, the barrel, charcoal, fruit, etc. 

I've never cross dressed.


----------



## wiarumas

phony said:


> btw I sort of like the smell of my own sweat... not excessive sweat from when I go to the gym or when it's really hot out, but sometimes after a full day when I lie down on the floor and I can sort of smell myself, I think I smell good
> 
> I know a guy who, after I said he stinks, told me that guys just have a stronger stink and that's why my sweat doesn't smell as bad. I think that's BS, and I'm just weird


There are pheremones in sweat. I read a study that had women smell t shirts of men who ran on a treadmill and they overwhelmingly liked the same ones they found attractive in pictures.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

phony said:


> Doesn't count >:l
> Lol why would you be the only boy on the bus?


:crying: ... //jk :tongue:

Um, I had the choice of trying a chartered school (cost the same as a normal public school ... just tax dollars, no tuition) and it was an extremely small school.
Also, I was a young ladies man :tongue:
Okay, I don't remember why lol


----------



## wiarumas

Kyandigaru said:


> i just have to ask this question to men....
> 
> long labias or not? LOL


No preference. As long as things look normal, I'm good. I don't find small ones particularly attractive nor do I find long ones unattractive. When I was younger I may have mistakenly thought big ones represented sexual experience, but that's no longer a concern (because its not true and I no longer care about experience).


----------



## wiarumas

My low Fi is going to really shine in this. I have little to no emotional commitment to nearly any of these things. The biggest thing was my car simply because its the most practical - getting places, going to work, store, etc and would be sorely missed. The others are simply not a part of my core "self" and likewise, not critical to my emotional health. 



Ningsta Kitty said:


> On a scale of 1 - 10 ... 1 being something that if it disappeared from your life, you wouldn't even notice. 10 being you couldn't live life happily without. So in other words, 1-10, how much would the following be "missed" ...
> 
> 1) Holding Hands - 1
> 2) Kissing - 3
> 3) Fallacio - 3
> 4) Cunninglingus - 3
> 5) Snuggling / Cuddling - 2
> 6) Words of affirmation (the person verbally telling you they love you, care, etc.) - 3
> 7) Lip Biting/Nibbling - 1
> 8) Quickies - 1
> 9) Someone knowing you - the you you ... - 1
> 10) Gestures of affection (like the person packing your lunch, or picking up the dry cleaning, etc.) - 3
> 
> Same deal, just NOT relationship junk ...
> 
> 1) Sports - 1
> 2) Junk Food - 1
> 3) TV - 1
> 4) Eye Candy - 1
> 5) Music - 3
> 6) Books - 3
> 7) Partying - 1
> 8) A Car (as in you'd have to moe & joe it everywhere. Right foot being Moe) - 8
> 9) The Gym (For those skesky pecs) - 1
> 10) Bacon - 1


----------



## petite libellule

wiarumas said:


> My low Fi is going to really shine in this. I have little to no emotional commitment to nearly any of these things. The biggest thing was my car simply because its the most practical - getting places, going to work, store, etc and would be sorely missed. The others are simply not a part of my core "self" and likewise, not critical to my emotional health.


this might sound weird but I appreciated that side note. because if let's say, hypothetically, you were to come off as a jerk, I might understand that you don't see it like that. I mean, you rated everything so low, it's as if your way of being is all business and no play. Not that that is a bad thing at all. Just I had never really saw it till now. It's interesting to me. Those things are just not THAT important to you at the end of the day (would that be an accurate assumption?) ... so if it's okay to ask, and for anyone else too ...

WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU - w/ regards to what you want out of life ? 

(for the sake of simplicity. Maybe the top 3-5? )

just so you see the difference I guess, as me(infj),
it's my happiness. my son and his happiness.
my friends and family. my safety. stuff like that.


----------



## android654

How does this quote strike you?

"Marriage, all in all, is a cowardly method that tries to subdue love through torture." - Kyoka Izumi


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> this might sound weird but I appreciated that side note. because if let's say, hypothetically, you were to come off as a jerk, I might understand that you don't see it like that. I mean, you rated everything so low, it's as if your way of being is all business and no play. Not that that is a bad thing at all. Just I had never really saw it till now. It's interesting to me. Those things are just not THAT important to you at the end of the day (would that be an accurate assumption?) ... so if it's okay to ask, and for anyone else too ...
> 
> WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU - w/ regards to what you want out of life ?
> 
> (for the sake of simplicity. Maybe the top 3-5? )
> 
> just so you see the difference I guess, as me(infj),
> it's my happiness. my son and his happiness.
> my friends and family. my safety. stuff like that.


It's not that I'm all business and no play or that I don't enjoy those things... You said rate them on a scale that I couldn't live happily without. That implies I place value, or emotional dependency on those things. I do not. I control or suppress those feelings in order to achieve a balanced perspective. My wife, for example, is important to me, but she will die someday and I will have to learn to cope. For low Fi, it is better to realize that my happiness is not tied to her existence than it is to rely on her for happiness. I appreciate our time together, but when the time comes, I'll have already accepted the fact that life goes on. 

There truly is one thing important in life and that is life itself. Many ways to define it and try to draw out purpose but that's up to the individual. For some people it is TV and bacon as you listed. For me, while enjoyable, small things in the big picture. Life, to me, is comprised of all those things you listed, but when they are gone, life is still there and that's what truly matters.


----------



## wiarumas

android654 said:


> How does this quote strike you?
> 
> "Marriage, all in all, is a cowardly method that tries to subdue love through torture." - Kyoka Izumi


Strikes me as a man who is unhappily married. 

I can't really relate. It glorifies love and I can't really say I'd deal with a relationship akin to torture.


----------



## android654

wiarumas said:


> Strikes me as a man who is unhappily married.
> 
> I can't really relate. It glorifies love and I can't really say I'd deal with a relationship akin to torture.


You don't think love should be glorified to some extent? Is it something you can rationalize or interpret it as pragmatic or through some laborious method?


----------



## wiarumas

android654 said:


> You don't think love should be glorified to some extent? Is it something you can rationalize or interpret it as pragmatic or through some laborious method?


Love is the compatiability between two people to accomplish any life task together. It takes more than oxytocin and other temporary chemicals in the brain to last a lifetime. So what is love? Strong, glorified feelings short lived that end up as institutionalized torture like your quote or long lasting teamwork, companionship, etc that endures a lifetime and any challenge that comes their way?


----------



## android654

wiarumas said:


> Love is the compatiability between two people to accomplish any life task together.


Is that so?



> It takes more than oxytocin and other temporary chemicals in the brain to last a lifetime. So what is love? Strong, glorified feelings short lived that end up as institutionalized torture like your quote or long lasting teamwork, companionship, etc that endures a lifetime and any challenge that comes their way?


Your approach is very businesslike, and I really can't see much difference to your definition of this and a work relationship. If that's the case, then I think my poet was correct.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Ningsta Kitty said:


> WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU - w/ regards to what you want out of life ?
> 
> (for the sake of simplicity. Maybe the top 3-5? )
> 
> just so you see the difference I guess, as me(infj),
> it's my happiness. my son and his happiness.
> my friends and family. my safety. stuff like that.


Now that you told me, you poisoned my response //jk :tongue: ... You did not affect my response lol

I want to have loved ones around me and I want self-respect. ... Wow, that was easy ... Okay, I got everything out of life that I wanted, I'm good :tongue:

Oh wait, I need to say 1-3 more things lol.
- I want my loved ones to be happy to and I want to have people to share my life with who will also share their life with me too
- I want new experiences, I want to be surprised (good surprises ... maybe some "bad" ones too) every now and then. I like not knowing what is going to happen next to an extent (although it scares me too sometimes lol)

I think that is good enough for now




android654 said:


> How does this quote strike you?
> 
> "Marriage, all in all, is a cowardly method that tries to subdue love through torture." - Kyoka Izumi


It sounds like someone who does not want to get married lol

But whether marriage is good or not, I suppose would depend on the couple. Not all marriages cost thousands upon thousands of dollars (I hope not lol), but there is a commitment there. ... That is not to say that non-married couples don't have a commitment (they have there own), but I think it says something when someone is willing to put themselves in a relationship that will take time to leave (a divorce) if they do try to leave and I think it says something that someone wants to make someone else officially part of their family. ... On the other hand, telling your partner that you don't need a piece of paper to be committed to them and that you trust their commitment to you means something as well.

I would say that both types of commitments have their pros and cons and it really depends on the couple, what is best. Although, there does seem to be more legal benefits atm to married couples over unmarried ones.


Now is marriage cowardly? Well, that really depends on why you are getting married. Are you marrying because you "know" you want to spend the rest of your life with this person? I don't think that is cowardly. Both parties are making a leap of faith and both people are saying they both share a deep level of commitment to the relationship.

But if you were getting married so that your partner would have a more difficult time leaving you if you are abusive, if you are marrying so that you don't have to worry about being alone, or if you are marrying so that you can have sex according to your religion's ethical code ... Then if those are your real reasons for marrying someone, then I would say that they are a coward.

Then again, some people don't want to get married (they want to keep an easy out) because they are scared to make a commitment to anyone, although they may claim to tell their partner that they are committed and I think that is cowardly too.

All in all, if you are doing what you are doing because you love the person, are committed to them, and you both agree it is best for your relationship with each other ... then who am I to judge that. The couple would be doing what is best for them.

Edit: I was focusing on relationships with commitments, but if a couple just wants to have no commitment and just stays until they don't want to be in the relationship, that is fine too ... as long as all parties in the relationship agree to that.


----------



## wiarumas

android654 said:


> Is that so?
> 
> Your approach is very businesslike, and I really can't see much difference to your definition of this and a work relationship. If that's the case, then I think my poet was correct.


Not really unless your definition of love is overly glorified or dramaticized to the point of fantasy or you have some weird relationship with your coworkers. 

I choose my wife among all the women in the world and I'm quite fond of her and the things she brings to the relationship. Plus we are talking about personal goals and issues, not work ones. Buying a house together, where to live, what kind of house, what kind of area, where to eat, what to eat, what to set the thermostat at, what kind of sheets, what kind of lighting, raising a kid, where to go for vacation, what color to paint the walls. These are personal decisions, not detached business ones and may have element of emotions invested in them. 

If you aren't compatiable and work well together best of luck to you because you will have a hell of a time seeing eye to eye on a day to day basis. For me, me and my wife are nearly on the same page, similar tastes, similar interests, same goals, similar perspectives, etc. We dont always see eye to eye but there is enough common ground that we can at least solve things in a civil manner. This high level of compatiability and understanding results in love, loyalty, respect, trust, etc.

Sure, we find each other attractive and all that other superficial stuff but at the end of the day, what keeps us working is our ability to basically live together _happily_. Which brings me back to my original thought that that guy is unhappily married because he got married for the wrong reasons to the wrong person. In that case, I doubt doing anything I listed above would be very pleasant and akin to torture. Not relatable to me because I prefer my wife and she improves my life rather than limit me. 

On the other hand in regards to a business relationship, I don't choose my coworkers and I don't really appreciate the relationship with them like I do with my wife. We aren't really compatiable, we rarely see eye to eye, we aren't emotionally invested in our work/future there, i dont really care about their goals and aspirations, and we don't have sex.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

@_wiarumas_, I agree completely. Again...I must be a sucky feeler, haha! I think the glorification of love and romance is what causes so many relationships to fail. In all things in life, effort is necessary at some point and will continue at least periodically. Thinking that love and relationships will always be magical and as easy as breathing is unrealistic.

It shouldn't be torture either, of course. The magic comes and goes in waves...good times, bad times, and in between times.

So with that, what do you think of the phrase "and they lived happily ever after!"?


----------



## 7rr7s

hela said:


> I am too lazy to look back through this thread, feel free to link me if any of these are old questions and/or bitch at me.
> 
> 1. Have you ever been in a fist fight?
> 
> *Yeah, several. Some were actual fights, but some were just to box my friends. Also, in gradeschool we used to play this game where we would take turns punching each other in the arm until one of us gave up. **We were a rowdy bunch loll.
> *
> 2. Do you take or have you taken a martial art?
> *No, but I've studied hand to hand combat. I live near some pretty bad areas and you never know when you will need to fight for your life. Being a smaller man, with a disability I realize this puts me at even more risk, so I took initiative to be prepared if I ever found myself in a horrible situation like that.
> *
> 3. What is your secret vice?
> *They're not really secrets, but any of the major ones. Lust, sloth, gluttony. Anything that can be done in excess, I have probably done at some point in my life. But probably my biggest vice is milkshakes. XD*
> 
> 4. What is something that you think of as definitively girly? Restriction: you cannot say "tampon," "vagina," or "tits."
> *The color pink, barbies, and Hello @Ningsta Kitty. *
> 
> 5. As a kid, did you have a fictional role model (If you dislike the term "role model," substitute "favorite character.") Who was it?
> 
> *Indiana Jones, pirates, and Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. XD I was so pissed when I realized they no longer existed, because I wanted to be a pirate so bad. *
> 
> Bonus: Are any of you That Guy who grunts in the gym? If not, have you ever told that guy to stop doing the leg press while grunting? What was the end result?


I don't got o the gym, I just work out at home. I don't grunt really, but I pant heavy when I'm really pushing myself, and in between say "this aint shit" and try to bust out another rep. 



phony said:


> I think alcohol tastes icky. Did you use to think it tastes icky? What does it taste like to you now?
> 
> *I don't remember if I thought it tasted icky when I first had it. I don't think so because I've always drank it straight. It tastes pretty damn good to me now. I prefer whiskey, IPAs, and red wine. Tequilla aint bad either. The only thing I won't drink is Jager. Ick! *
> 
> Have you ever tried wearing "women's clothing"? Did you like it?


I was like 4 or 5 and I tried to walk in my Mom's heals. That failed and since then I've always wondered how you girls pull it off. Also, in highschool, I went through a real punk alternative phase and had my girlfriend paint my nails black. 



Kyandigaru said:


> i just have to ask this question to men....
> 
> long labias or not? LOL


Doesn't matter, just no blue waffles. 



Ningsta Kitty said:


> On a scale of 1 - 10 ... 1 being something that if it disappeared from your life, you wouldn't even notice. 10 being you couldn't live life happily without. So in other words, 1-10, how much would the following be "missed" ...
> 
> 1) Holding Hands *5*
> 2) Kissing *9*
> 3) Fallacio *6*
> 4) Cunninglingus *7*
> 5) Snuggling / Cuddling *8*
> 6) Words of affirmation (the person verbally telling you they love you, care, etc.) *9*
> 7) Lip Biting/Nibbling *8*
> 8) Quickies *7*
> 9) Someone knowing you - the you you ... *Loll, I don't think that's even possible. 6.*
> 10) Gestures of affection (like the person packing your lunch, or picking up the dry cleaning, etc.) *5*
> 
> Same deal, just NOT relationship junk ...
> 
> 1) Sports *2.*
> 2) Junk Food *1.*
> 3) TV *7.*
> 4) Eye Candy *10.*
> 5) Music *10.*
> 6) Books *10.*
> 7) Partying *6.*
> 8) A Car (as in you'd have to moe & joe it everywhere. Right foot being Moe) *Depends where I live. I'll assume you mean a tropical island paradise though, so 1. *
> 9) The Gym (For those skesky pecs) *1. Pushups all day! Jumping jacks and situps and running. Fuck a gym. *
> 10) Bacon


 *9. *



Ningsta Kitty said:


> I luuuuv the list question I threw out here but before I cut myself off for slack time I have a question for advice. I hate conflict. I really really do. ESPECIALLY when it's between 2 people I like. Any advice for me to get over it? I just hate it! ... seriously, it irks me bad! I hate debating but that doesn't irk me to see 2 people debate, but if it's an actual conflict, no matter how small, I'm bothered by it. So ... If there were some clear logic magic words for me to "get it" / "understand" so as to induce apathy,
> 
> what would those words be?


Well if it's one on one conflict, your best bet is to calm them down with your energy. It takes two to fight, and if you remain calm, they will look like an idiot or overly mean or aggressive. Basically you're just trolling them and taking their aggression down. The other option is to go to war with them and meet them at their hostile level, but somehow I can;t picture you doing that. That never ends well either. 

Most importantly, once they are calmer and more rational, try to see things from their point of view. Alot of time people get angry over misunderstandings or when they feel they are not being heard or understood. Sincerely try to sympathize with them and see where they are coming from. That's probably your best bet Ningsta. 



Ningsta Kitty said:


> this might sound weird but I appreciated that side note. because if let's say, hypothetically, you were to come off as a jerk, I might understand that you don't see it like that. I mean, you rated everything so low, it's as if your way of being is all business and no play. Not that that is a bad thing at all. Just I had never really saw it till now. It's interesting to me. Those things are just not THAT important to you at the end of the day (would that be an accurate assumption?) ... so if it's okay to ask, and for anyone else too ...
> 
> WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU - w/ regards to what you want out of life ?
> 
> (for the sake of simplicity. Maybe the top 3-5? )
> 
> just so you see the difference I guess, as me(infj),
> it's my happiness. my son and his happiness.
> my friends and family. my safety. stuff like that.


I want to live a life that I can be proud of leaving when it's my time to go. I want to inspire people with how I go about the world, so that they can find the courage and greatness in themselves to live a life that is passionate and meaningful. I think the majority of people don't live to their full potential and I want to change that, but I have to live that myself as well. I want to give love to lift others up, and move people through my music, writing, and general mindset. Love, honor, adventure, fearlessness. 



android654 said:


> How does this quote strike you?
> 
> "Marriage, all in all, is a cowardly method that tries to subdue love through torture." - Kyoka Izumi


Sounds like he married for the wrong reasons. Marriage is a beautiful thing. A little outdated for some people, but I like the general idea of it.


----------



## 7rr7s

phony said:


> a) Hate sex?! :shocked: Lol what is hate sex?
> Person 1: ahamagawwwd you're a terrible human being.
> Person 2: ughhh no _you_, It ticks me off just looking at you, I HATE YOU.
> Person 1: I HATE _YOU_.
> Person 2: DO YOU WANNA PUT YOUR MOUTH ON MY MOUTH?
> Person 1: YES LETS.
> Person 2: MUAAAA_ISTILL_MUAHHHSLOPSLOP_HATEYOUR_SLOBBERRR_GUTSSSS_
> Person 1: _SCREW_OMNOMM_YOUUU_
> 
> *Hate sex is when you cant stand the other person, and they can't stand you but you elicit such strong emotions in each other. Strong emotions of any kind make for good sex. Makeup sex is kind of like that too. *
> 
> b) Is that a type of alcohol?
> 
> *Liqour dick is when you drink too much booze and can't get hard, or at best semi hard but still not fully firm. It's a terrible condition to have, but sometimes it can come in handy. Sometimes it saves you from waking up next to someone you would have regretted in the morning.*
> 
> c) That sounds lovely!





android654 said:


> You don't think love should be glorified to some extent? Is it something you can rationalize or interpret it as pragmatic or through some laborious method?


I don't think anything should be glorified to that extent. There's so many ideas of what love should be like from the culture, from parents and your peers, that when the reality doesn't live up to your expectations, you can get frustrated or sad or bitter. It's just a feeling like any other feeling. Do we glorify anger, or sadness or joy? Not really, so why should love be any different? It's nice yes, but I don't think we do ourselves any favors by idealizing it.


----------



## searcheagle

wiarumas said:


> For me, nothing out of the ordinary. For the most part, me and my friends will not take area into consideration. So it's basically the same stuff. If its strangers, dead silence. Strictly business - change and get out.


I guess that we're changing in the wrong locker rooms, lol. I've never been to one of the fun ones that all the women know about! Silence is more common in all the locker rooms I've been in.


----------



## wiarumas

I'm a bit disappointed I didn't get the scrambled eggs question like the woman thread! I have a good/interesting way of making them. Really not much room for deviation when making pbj or grilled cheese...



Ningsta Kitty said:


> *How To Questions:
> 
> *1. How do you make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (what makes for a perfect PPJ) ?
> 
> *peanut butter one side, jelly the other, diagonal cut. Pretty straight forward. Maybe let sit and coagulate before eating for it to really be tasty. *
> 
> 2. How would you make a grilled cheese sandwich if all necessary ingredients were at your disposable?
> 
> *butter the bread, place one side in, place cheese on, give it a moment, place other bread on, flip when golden browned, brown that side, diagonal cut. Bonus points to include ham in it or a side of tomato soup. *
> 
> 3. How do you get out of the "dog house" (when you know you were put there for good reason) ?
> 
> *patience. Then talk when the time is right. *
> 
> 4. How do you pick out a good pair of gym shoes ?
> 
> *google it, find recommendations, reviews and testimonials. Go to store, try on results. Make the final call on thoughts and price. *
> 
> 5. You are in a work meeting.
> 
> Lot's of important people (higher up the food chain) are there. You have an idea that is super fantastic but it really isn't regarding your job title, but it is pertinent towards the discussion at hand. It's not an open floor type of meeting (meaning not everyone is invited to put their 2 cents in. you are there because you are part of the "team", no more; no less.)
> 
> How do you interrupt the meeting in order to put your idea on the table?
> what part of your stratagem and/ or mojo is getting your idea the attention it deserves?
> 
> *i raise my hand slightly and announce "I have a comment for this slide, will you have a moment for questions at the end?" If yes, wait, if no, he should ask me to say it. If not, raise it afterwards.
> 
> My strategy/mojo is just to simply speak. I don't care if it is God presenting, I am the janitor, etc - all irrelevant. A good point is a good point and it speaks for itself, especially if presented properly.
> *


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Ningsta Kitty said:


> *How To Questions:*


*1. How do you make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (what makes for a perfect PPJ) ?*

It has been a while, but with lots of peanut butter 

Actually, the last few times I have been making them, I used natural peanut butter and I used fresh fruit instead of jelly.
Peanut Butter and a banana
Peanut Butter and an apple (I use a whole yellow delicious ^__^)
Peanut butter and grapes
Peanut butter with strawberries and blueberries (my favorite ^__^)

... when I use "jelly" I have actually used jam and preserves (a friend of mine says it is all slightly different) ... Anyway that probably does not matter ... But I do prefer blueberry, strawberry, or apricot flavored whatever it is that I am spreading lol

I have also had honey and peanut butter ... that is good too ^__^

*2. How would you make a grilled cheese sandwich if all necessary ingredients were at your disposable? *

Have not made one in a while (I try not to eat too much cheese lol) ... Anyway, I hope I am not breaking some grilled cheese commandment, but the last time I made "grilled" cheese I just used a microwave because I was lazy, impatient, and I did not have a good stove (small college dorm stove that did not work well and I only have one small pot lol ... it was very cramped in that place ) ... I was a sophomore in college lol

Anyway I have two grilled cheeses if I remembered correctly ... well, one was a grilled cheese and the other was more a monument to food  lol ... When I tell you about the second one I'll use the final (6 slices of bread) version of the sandwich.

Actually the second one might not have been a grilled cheese ... well, I will still tell you about it anyway ^__^

The first one is simple ... I just used Land O'Lakes American Cheese and I put a thin slice of salami between every slice of cheese (well, there were two slightly overlapping piles of salami-cheese since the bread was so wide) ... I would put a decent amount of cheese and salami on it ... and I would melt the cheese ... the fat on the salami would also melt and the cheese would fill in the new holes of the salami

Okay ... the second sandwich that I don't really remember so either some things may be accidentally made up, I did at one point but did not make it to the final version, or everything will be correct lol .... This sandwich was more than an experiment that I kept revising over and over again (I know I went from 5 slices to 6 slices for structural integrity.

Okay ... So take a slice of bread (I think I used honey wheat) and put some honey in the middle and just heat it up for a short time (it helps the bread absorb the honey. Now take a second slice of bread and take out the middle (I can't remember what I did with the middle, so just eat the middle of it ^__^) ... Then take some (american) cheese and I believe I broke it apart and put in around the perimeter of the first slice and put the second slice on top (it is possible that I just used two slices of cheese and laid them down) ... Then I melted the cheese and I pulled the pocket with two dressings (I think); Ranch and a Raspberry-walnut vinaigrette ... Then I put some cheese around the perimeter again, put a slice of bread on top ... and put some honey on that slice of bread and heated it up 
Okay, the top part of the sandwich is now done.
The bottom part ... I can't remember if I used honey on these slices of bread, but let's pretend I did not ... Okay so it is whole slice, whole slice, and then a slice of bread with a whole in the middle ... cheese between each slice of bread, tomatoes (and maybe cucumbers) inside the pocket (tomatoes would sometimes fall off my sandwiches and make a mess) ... and then I may have put cheese on top
If I was just using cold-cuts I may just heated it here ... If not I probably put salami and cheese in the way I did the above sandwich and then heated everything up
The final touch was that I heated two breaded chicken cutlets/large chicken fingers and put them on and then place the top part on top.

If my memory serves me right ... I never finished this sandwich in one sitting once I got to using 5 slices ... although, to be fair, my appetite went down a lot (I think) from the year before.

*3. How do you get out of the "dog house" (when you know you were put there for good reason) ?*

I don't remember being in the dog house ... Or is the dog house just when she is mad at me ... or is it when she is really mad at me?

Well, actually I probably have been in the dog house ... Now, I was in the puppy house :kitteh: ... and I don't remember what I did to get out of it ... talk/argue lol ... well if I thought it was a good reason I probably did not argue ... apologized and acknowledged what I did wrong and recognized and validated her feelings and ... hmmm, I don't know what else I did
Sorry about that

*4. How do you pick out a good pair of gym shoes ?*

I've had soccer shoes, soccer cleats, wrestling shoes, and track shoes (I think I had track shoes), but I never had gym shoes ... I just wear my sneakers (well they are called "running" shoes at the store)

*5. You are in a work meeting. *

_Lot's of important people (higher up the food chain) are there. You have an idea that is super fantastic but it really isn't regarding your job title,* but it is pertinent towards the discussion at hand.* It's not an open floor type of meeting (meaning not everyone is invited to put their 2 cents in. you are there because you are part of the "team", no more; no less.) _

*How do you interrupt the meeting in order to put your idea on the table? 
what part of your stratagem and/ or mojo is getting your idea the attention it deserves?*

Hmmm ... I don't know lol ... I was never in such a situation before ... I suppose it depends on whether I can say something after the meeting via e-mail or if it needs to be said then.
Let's assume I have to say it then since that would probably match the intent of the question more (or we can assume I can't contact them afterwords).

Um ... I really don't know lol ... I would want to be respectful, but I'm not sure I could be in your scenario as I am not supposed to give my two cents

Well, I suppose it depends on how confident I am in my idea and how much I value this job and how much leeway I think I have. 


I suppose I would look for an "appropriate" time (maybe while presenting the problem again or if someone asks questions or at the end of the meeting)
I'm not sure lol




Ningsta Kitty said:


> *Do You Questions:*


*1. Do you have a hobby or interest that you are passionate about ?*

I feel like this deserves a long response to say why I am passionate about something and how it makes me feel "human" ... but I don't feel like it right now lol

Yeah, I do ... but it can change ... I have been passionate about learning and about understanding people and math and physics ... .... Years ago I was passionate about soccer and wrestling and I had some passion with lifting heavy weights (working out and getting stronger)

I'm passionate about the things I deeply love ^__^

*2. Do you have a mission statement for your life ? Or do you blow like a leaf in the wind ?*

Hmmmm ... I feel like I am a leaf in the wind lol ... but I supposed somethings are constant and my mission statement may change as I change ... Right now, my "mission statement" seems to be about love and seeing beauty in others (inner beauty) ... I used to have a mission statement about learning and teaching math and physics (I still want to do that).
I suppose I could say my mission is to always do what I think is right (what would make me proud of myself), but that is a boring one that is probably apart of most peoples "mission statements"

I'm a butterfly :tongue:

*3. Do you save change (penny's, nickel's, dimes & quarters)? Where do you let it collect ?*

Yes, in a large plastic baggy until I have enough to carry to a coin machine lol

*4. Do you like yoga ?*

I have never done it with an instructor, but I had a "yoga for athletes" tape in high school and that was nice and relaxing ... In case you are wondering, I did yoga to increase my flexibility so I could reduce my natural resistance while I run so I could run faster and more efficiently

*5. Do you think you would ever go to the opera ?
*
Never been to one (I've been to a few plays and musicals though), but I have wanted to go to an opera for a few years now ... I think it would be a very pleasant experience ^__^



Ningsta Kitty said:


> :sad::blushed: I'm sorry. I'll simmer down. *I promise! *:blushed:
> 
> in all honesty it takes no effort for me to just spew out a bazillion questions, lol!
> I haven't the faintest clue what other people wonder about. (that can count as a question )
> but what I DO know is that if I want a PPJ to go to @_searcheagle_'s house, if I want a grilled cheese or roast duck I go to @_android654_'s house, and if I'm testing an experimental deodorant, @_downsowf_ might be willing to be my guinea pig :tongue:
> 
> and if I'm feeling adventurous I can call over @_Mr. Meepers_ who will share his meals with me and make me all the salami ice cream sandwiches a girl could ever want! :kitteh:


I guess I'll need to pick up a lot of salami then .... I hope frozen greek yogurt is okay ^__^



pageofadiary said:


> What would have to happen during sex in order for it to rank as the best sex you ever had?


It would have to actually happen //jk 

Good question ... I suppose it would have to feel intimate with someone I am really into and there would have to be a lot of playfulness and it would help if she was into my kinks :wink:

^^ Okay ... It probably would not take so much to be the best I have had *so far* ... but I was taking into account future and imaginary experiences :tongue:


----------



## wiarumas

In quote



Ningsta Kitty said:


> *Do You Questions:*
> 
> 1. Do you have a hobby or interest that you are passionate about ?
> 
> *probably the ones I create with - music, cooking, etc. sometimes i will get spurts of artistic inspiration where i write or other forms of art due to possibly seasonal depression? The ENTJ shadow is ISFP, the artist afterall. To a lesser extent, watches, shoes, suits, and other professional wear... Wear it everyday, might as well enjoy it. *
> 
> 2. Do you have a mission statement for your life ? Or do you blow like a leaf in the wind ?
> 
> *neither. I lean more heavily towards the mission statement in life though. I want to leave behind a legacy in some form - its always a work in progress in what that legacy may be. I can't be rigid - I plan but am flexible and adaptable to changing circumstance. *
> 
> 3. Do you save change (penny's, nickel's, dimes & quarters)? Where do you let it collect ?
> 
> *i usually save it up in my car. Rarely will I bring change into my house. I'll just dump it all to people raising money - not homeless or beggars, but those Santa's, college kids with signs+cans, etc. *
> 
> 4. Do you like yoga ?
> 
> *not a fan. I prefer Pilates and some other forms of aerobic over it if I don't have access to free weights. *
> 
> 5. Do you think you would ever go to the opera ?
> 
> *i have many times. And ballet. And musicals. And symphony orchestra. *


----------



## petite libellule

@wiarumas 

2 questions and then I'm done for a little bit 

1) How do you make scrambled eggs ?

2) True or False: "Sex is like cold pizza, even when it's bad, it's good" 

:tongue:


----------



## NT the DC

I want a thread started by a sexist and manly man.
One that has to wrestle the women off of him every morning and who bottles his musk to kill mountain lions.


----------



## paperbrain

Without giving too much away what do you feel is your best written work thus far?

Who is your most inspiring muse and why?

What is the best sexual experience you’ve never had and how would you go about writing it?

What were the best and worst parts of your fraternity life and why?

Did you have a “little sister” while you were in afraternity and what was that like?

How old were you when you lost your virginity and did you regret it or love it? How would you have gone about it differently?


----------



## JaySH

NT the DC said:


> I want a thread started by a sexist and manly man.
> One that has to wrestle the women off of him every morning and who bottles his musk to kill mountain lions.



So, safe to assume you won't be starting this thread you speak of, huh?


----------



## wiarumas

carlaviii said:


> All right, I got another question... can't keep up with Ningsta, but...
> 
> Drinking and erectile function. Experiences? How much drinking does it take to have an impact? Or has it not been a problem, no matter how drunk you were? Second-hand stories are good, too, if you're fairly sure they're true.
> 
> Apologies if it's already been asked.


It hasn't been asked. Typically it takes more than a person is capable of keeping track. It varies man to man since it is related to tolerance, blood flow, heart, blood pressure, etc. Along the lines of a few to several I'd roughly say.

It's common enough that I know some fraternity guys would keep Viagra bedside to counter its effects.


----------



## NT the DC

JaySH said:


> So, safe to assume you won't be starting this thread you speak of, huh?


I'm too busy saving the world.
With song.


----------



## JaySH

NT the DC said:


> I'm too busy saving the world.
> With song.


Yet, you have time to take a break to post in here? :dry: Interesting.

lol.


----------



## wiarumas

pageofadiary said:


> What would have to happen during sex in order for it to rank as the best sex you ever had?


If I knew, it would be done since I'm typically in control. She would have to know something that would literally change my perspective on sex.


----------



## NT the DC

JaySH said:


> Yet, you have time to take a break to post in here? :dry: Interesting.
> 
> lol.


Do you expect me to continually sing all day?


----------



## JaySH

NT the DC said:


> Do you expect me to continually sing all day?


No. I pray you won't, actually. And I'm not even religious. :wink:


----------



## NT the DC

JaySH said:


> No. I pray you won't, actually. And I'm not even religious. :wink:


You're a very compassionate human.


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> @wiarumas
> 
> 2 questions and then I'm done for a little bit
> 
> 1) How do you make scrambled eggs ?
> 
> *low heat, a decent chunk of butter, 2 eggs unscrambled. Stir constantly over low heat, remove from heat when it gets too hot and starts cooking about every 30 seconds or so. The goal is to make it as fluffy as possible. When it starts to cook, add a splash of milk, garlic, onion powder or chives, and continue to stir, still removing from heat often. At the end, throw in cheese, salt and pepper, and continue scrambling off heat until its consistent throughout. I think it's actually a variation of the French method where its done over a double broiler to make it more of a billowy fluff/cream than chunky eggs. Typically served on toast. *
> 
> 2) True or False: "Sex is like cold pizza, even when it's bad, it's good"
> 
> *for the most part true, but there can be truly bad sex... But I've also had bad pizza so I guess it's fair. *


In quote


----------



## wiarumas

paperbrain said:


> Without giving too much away what do you feel is your best written work thus far?
> 
> 
> *not everybody's taste, but i wrote a 50,000 word novel about a dystopian future ruled by corporations that intended to reduce global population since genetic engineering was perfected and robotics made most people obsolete. It's a bit dark and I intended to rewrite it to appeal to a larger demographic. Someday. *
> 
> Who is your most inspiring muse and why?
> 
> *i don't have one. I mentioned previously ill get something like seasonal depression where I get a burst of inspiration to write. So typically, winter weather does it for me. It's cold, barren, dead.*
> 
> 
> What is the best sexual experience you’ve never had and how would you go about writing it?
> 
> *i wouldn't write about my best sexual experience because it wouldn't be interesting for anyone to read about. It's more of a 30 second story to be told over a pint of beer. *
> 
> 
> What were the best and worst parts of your fraternity life and why?
> 
> *the worst was by far the kitchen and potentially the bathrooms. 130 college aged men cannot keep a kitchen or bathroom in any type of respectable state. It's most likely worse than what you can potentially imagine. We did, however, get it cleaned daily. By midnight though, it was again a mess.
> 
> Too many to list for the good things. Everybody had their group of friends, and with those, anything was a good time. Outside parties when the weather was nice, live bands, meeting pseudo celebrities when we had things like book signings and concerts, philanthropy, parents weekend, making a parade float, greek week, homecoming, etc. The opportunities alone is what made it great.
> *
> 
> Did you have a “little sister” while you were in afraternity and what was that like?
> 
> 
> *i had two "little brothers". Little sisters were for sororities. It's basically a mentor program. You tell them things about the fraternity, school, etc. it's for networking - to a group of friends, girls, etc. *
> 
> How old were you when you lost your virginity and did you regret it or love it? How would you have gone about it differently?
> 
> *16. No regrets. Didn't love it, but it was a good time. Back of a car, broad day light, her on top. Nothing special about it. She was a good girlfriend at the time. Not the type you take home to meet the parents, but great for a 16 year old boy. *


In quote


----------



## WickerDeer

I don't know if it's been asked yet, but what kind of awesome names could you come up with for your penis?

Like, Moses' Staff (which parts the Red Seas) or The Goblin Slayer (?WTF?). Not sure where this is going...


----------



## Mr. Meepers

NT the DC said:


> I want a thread started by a sexist and manly man.
> One that has to wrestle the women off of him every morning and who bottles his musk to kill mountain lions.


Well, instead of sexist men answering your questions, you'll just have to settle for a bunch of sexy men answering your questions :wink:


----------



## INTJellectual

android654 said:


> I was raised by nothing but women, so there's very little in terms of "lady issues" that I didn't find out by the time I was 9. In other words, I'm used to it.





JaySH said:


> ^ yeah, very similar for me. It wasn't until 9 yrs old that it was solely female, other than me, in my household (stepdad, car accident) but from then til 17 it was my Mom, 2 adult female cousins(separate times), an older and 2 younger sisters.
> 
> Much like him, nothing surprises me. I's part of life....I don't imagine any man would look at it negatively, outside of high school anyway (high schoolers are immature and ignorant, in most cases).


Alright. At least guys like you are mature. Yeah, high school where girls were just beginning to have mens is an awful time to have and talk about mens.



wiarumas said:


> I think it's natural and likewise, im not going to be disgusted or grossed out or anything. With that said, I would be subtle about it. It is a somewhat private matter that I don't want to hear a lot about or the details of if I don't need to.


At least you're honest. Yeah it's a private thing we rather not talk about if we could.


----------



## Jennywocky

android654 said:


> Is that a way of asking if I have ample rope? Because I do.


Hemp, cotton, or silk?

Because... uh... well... just asking, no real reason.


----------



## paperbrain

Here are seven more questions and I encourage all men in this thread to answer them as I am enjoying reading over the answers you gentlemen gave me to the first ones I posted. I apologize a head of time if they are repetitive of other questions that may have already been posted that I missed in the thread:

What are three of your favorite films and why?

What are three of your favorite novels?

What makes you decide to have sex with one woman and not another and why?

What do you wish women would do in bed more?

What do you wish they would stop doing in bed?

What’s the sexiest thing a woman has told you and why?

What’s the most exciting thing you’ve ever seen and why?


----------



## android654

paperbrain said:


> Here are seven more questions and I encourage all men in this thread to answer them as I am enjoying reading over the answers you gentlemen gave me to the first ones I posted. I apologize a head of time if they are repetitive of other questions that may have already been posted that I missed in the thread:
> 
> What are three of your favorite films and why?




Three? I can't pick three.




> What are three of your favorite novels?


I won't dodge this one, but three is really limiting. Neuromancer, The Count of Monte Cristo, Idoru.




> What makes you decide to have sex with one woman and not another and why?


If it's something unexpected and I'm having a one night stand, it's either which ever person responds to my advances first or whomever I find to be more attractive. The reason for this is simple. If I'm looking for sex it's because I need some kind of sexual contact, so whoever responds the fastest or catches my eye first is the person I'd go for the most aggressively.




> What do you wish women would do in bed more?


Be more aggressive. Not enough women are aggressive during sex.



> What do you wish they would stop doing in bed?[/quote]
> 
> Talking. I know that it's a common thing to try and sound sexy, reassure me that it isn't something you always do or whatever else might come out during, I just don't want to hear it. It's a distraction and only serves to break the energy in the room.





> What’s the sexiest thing a woman has told you and why?
> 
> 
> 
> I had someone whisper in my ear, telling me to pin her wrists harder against the wall. The way it was said had more to do with it than what was actually said.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> What’s the most exciting thing you’ve ever seen and why?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> I've seen some shit, I can't pick just the one.
> 
> 
> 
> paperbrain said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> android654 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The best sex I never had? You mean the best I can imagine?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> 
> Yes. So to clarify I mean the best sex you can imagine. Imagine the best sex you've never had as in what is the sexual fantasy you want to experience but have never been given th chance to experience. So if I've provided enough clarity for you please be so kind as to provide an answer. Thank you.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> A younger me would've wanted something akin to *the* scene from _Eyes Wide Shut_, but since them my opinions have changed a bit. Rather than actual events, my mind is much more stimulated through acts and attitudes which leads me to lust after persons or type of persons rather than elaborate fantasies. So it's hard to pinpoint what would make the best sex I could imagine, rather I would have to imagine the best person to have sex with.
Click to expand...


----------



## android654

Jennywocky said:


> Hemp, cotton, or silk?
> 
> Because... uh... well... just asking, no real reason.


Jute's too hard to get over here, almost no one carries it. Hemp works fine but my skin's a little sensitive and it'll chafe my wrists if I sweat too much. Not that that happens too often...


----------



## Jennywocky

android654 said:


> Jute's too hard to get over here, almost no one carries it. Hemp works fine but my skin's a little sensitive and it'll chafe my wrists if I sweat too much. Not that that happens too often...


The real weird thing is that when I reread my post, without knowing what the topic is about, it sounds like I'm talking about underwear. 

No hemp for me. Uggh.


----------



## android654

Jennywocky said:


> The real weird thing is that when I reread my post, without knowing what the topic is about, it sounds like I'm talking about underwear.
> 
> No hemp for me. Uggh.



You just gave me an idea for questions!


----------



## Jennywocky

android654 said:


> You just gave me an idea for questions!


Oh nuts. *nervous*


----------



## android654

Jennywocky said:


> Oh nuts. *nervous*


Must you assume the worst of me? I'm merely satisfying my curiosity.


----------



## pageofadiary

This thread is making me want to give my vagina a nickname...


----------



## wiarumas

pageofadiary said:


> This thread is making me want to give my vagina a nickname...


Well if you want to be consistent with The Lord of the rings theme set forth by others, Moria would be an appropriate nickname haha.


----------



## petite libellule

Is marijuana a drug?

Is a peanut a nut?

Is Friday really the best day of the week?

Imagine that you are in a white room, with white furniture and wearing white clothes. How do you feel?


----------



## searcheagle

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Is marijuana a drug?
> 
> Is a peanut a nut?
> 
> Is Friday really the best day of the week?
> 
> Imagine that you are in a white room, with white furniture and wearing white clothes. How do you feel?


I think that @ Ningsta Kitty is this game. lol

View attachment 58403








I imagine there is never a dull moment with Ningsta Kitty!


----------



## petite libellule

searcheagle said:


> I imagine there is never a dull moment with Ningsta Kitty!


 :laughing: no. I'm afraid it's not.


----------



## Death Persuades

paperbrain said:


> Here are seven more questions and I encourage all men in this thread to answer them as I am enjoying reading over the answers you gentlemen gave me to the first ones I posted. I apologize a head of time if they are repetitive of other questions that may have already been posted that I missed in the thread:
> 
> What are three of your favorite films and why?
> 
> What are three of your favorite novels?
> 
> What makes you decide to have sex with one woman and not another and why?
> 
> What do you wish women would do in bed more?
> 
> What do you wish they would stop doing in bed?
> 
> What’s the sexiest thing a woman has told you and why?
> 
> What’s the most exciting thing you’ve ever seen and why?



Mary and Max, The Fox and the Hound, Now and Then. I just like movies about friendship xP

The Hunger Games pt 1, 2 and 3. 

I decide to have sex with a woman if we've been in a relationship for some months, it seems like we will be for a long time, and she wants it.

Snuggle, and if you mean sexually, then... maybe mutual masturbation. I find that much more intimate than actual sex.

Snoring, and if you mean sexually... nothing. 

My penis is the perfect size for her vagina XD turned me on instantly.

A massive oil refinery explosion that shook me even though I was over a mile away.


----------



## Death Persuades

INTJellectual said:


> Women give sex to get love.
> 
> *Men give love to get sex.*
> 
> The bolded parts, how true?


It depends on the man, I guess, but I've never really been that interested in sex. I just want the love part, please.


----------



## William I am

Ningsta Kitty said:


> What is the worst date you have ever been on?


I started to answer this, but... just.... there are too many seriously bad dates to choose from. Maybe the most comically bad one was when I went for sushi with this girl, who kept up "fuck me" eye contact through most of the meal, invited me in, showed me around briefly.... and then showed me out all of a sudden. I even managed to lose my leftovers on the way home :shocked:
(She has some digestive problems and I think she wanted privacy, though I didn't know for about a year  )


----------



## William I am

Kyandigaru said:


> i know all men dont do this, but a few do.
> 
> why do some guys talk to a girl they are interested in about other girls? Example;
> 
> Tiffany: "why is such a handsome guy like you single?"
> Mark: "well, i was talking to this one girl and she said she needed some time apart. We just watched a movie together the other day. She needed to sort things out."
> 
> Tiffany: "so you're dating other women?"
> Mark: "a couple yeah..."
> _______
> 
> why do some guys do this knowing it may hender their chances of dating that girl? I thought it was best to make a girl feel like she is the only one?


Maybe they're trying to create the illusion of being in demand, but that's not what I think he's trying to do in that conversation.

If I said that, I would just be being honest. If I said that, it would be because I'm single-ish but being honest and keeping you from getting surprises. A lot of times, when people "need time apart" or even if they break up, there's sort of a 2-week cooling off period. 
If he tells you he's single and then the girl no longer wants space, he would look guilty of trying to two-time. If he tells you he's seeing somebody, you think he's taken and maybe move on. 
He's just hedging his bets and being forthcoming.


----------



## Death Persuades

milti said:


> Questions from Milti:
> 
> -Think about your exes. What do you generally feel about people from past relationships?
> 
> *Usually, nothing, but I do feel quite betrayed by my latest ex...*
> 
> - Is it ever okay for someone new you're dating to ask you about your past? What if your SO is open about sharing their stories?
> 
> *​It is, and I would like to hear their past as well. I would not consider it important in terms of continuing the relationship, but it's always good to know where people are coming from.*
> 
> - When do you know you have a crush?
> 
> *Umm... When I like someone.*
> 
> - Why would a guy friend-zone an attractive intelligent girl (esp. if he was single and she's interested)?
> 
> *He's gay, He's asexual and aromantic, He has no time for her?*
> 
> - Have you ever used a "smooth talker" line on a potential hookup? I mean a pick up tactic.
> 
> *Nope. I do, however, tend to use similar things with girls who are already my girlfriend.*
> 
> - What is the deal about liking older women? What do young men SEE in older women (cougars, milfs, whatever) It's a question I find fascinating and repulsive at the same time, because I'm _pretty damn sure _​I won't be making out with a 60 year old anytime
> soon. Or EVER. My curiosity is academic.
> 
> *I would not like a 60 year old woman, but I may date one 5, 10 or even 15 years older. It has nothing to do with how she looks. Older women are just... Not young. Young girls tend to piss me off... At least the ones in this area. They're too dramatic and gossipy and they fight for the most stupid shit. Kind of like first graders.*
> 
> - Which do you prefer in a partner: great making out sessions vs. silent holding hands/laying in their arms
> 
> *silent holding hands/laying in their arms*
> 
> - When guys have a fling/one night stand/casual encounter or whatever, do they tell their buddies about it the next day? Do they think about the girl at all?
> 
> *I wouldn't know. Never done it, never will, and I have no buddies.*
> 
> - If you drink regularly... How much of what a guy says is the truth when he is inebriated? Does it tend more to the truth (alcohol loosens inhibitions) or less to the truth (alcohol makes you say stupid crap). And do you remember things you said while high when looking back on it later?


*
I don't drink or do drugs.*


----------



## wiarumas

paperbrain said:


> Here are seven more questions and I encourage all men in this thread to answer them as I am enjoying reading over the answers you gentlemen gave me to the first ones I posted. I apologize a head of time if they are repetitive of other questions that may have already been posted that I missed in the thread:
> 
> What are three of your favorite films and why?
> 
> *Lord of the rings - it's just a trilogy of epic proportions and has it all.
> Matrix - just the first one; was a great sci fi movie and touched on a lot of interesting philosophical premises
> Leon the professional or pulp fiction - I found both appealing for the same reason - interesting plot/story/characters, well directed, well acted, etc.
> 
> Plenty of runner ups: godfather, fight club, saving private Ryan, apocalypse now, original Star Wars trilogy. *
> 
> 
> What are three of your favorite novels?
> 
> *Lord of the rings - again, just an epic piece if literature, film, etc.
> fight club - movie was good, but so was the book for the same reasons
> Art of war - along with the bible, stood the test of time
> 
> Insert plenty of runner ups here: Phillip k dick books, Hyperion, 1984, brave new world, Fahrenheit 451, clockwork orange, grapes of wraith, Enders game, etc. *
> 
> 
> What makes you decide to have sex with one woman and not another and why?
> 
> *sex appeal, personality, compatibility. I have to find her sexually attractive, interesting, and not abrasive to who I am. Nothing worse than being with a girl you cannot stand. *
> 
> 
> What do you wish women would do in bed more?
> 
> *take initiative. Don't just lie there and let the man do all the work. Get involved!*
> 
> What do you wish they would stop doing in bed?
> 
> *some girls become self conscious in bed and that really drives me nuts. Stop thinking and more doing. *
> 
> 
> What’s the sexiest thing a woman has told you and why?
> 
> *"harder - I want other people to hear." *
> 
> 
> What’s the most exciting thing you’ve ever seen and why?
> 
> *no idea. One time when I was in downtown DC, an unmarked car pulled in front of me blocking an intersection, guys jumped out with guns, one second later the presidential motorcade flew through, the guys went back in their car, and off they drove like nothing happened. It lasted about 15 seconds total but I was in complete shock of the coordination of it. And it's seriously the last thing you expect when waiting for a light to turn green. *


In quote


----------



## petite libellule

Have you ever worn a speedo?

(what's your opinion of them. why or why not)


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Is marijuana a drug?
> 
> *yes. *
> 
> Is a peanut a nut?
> 
> *no, it's a legume*
> 
> Is Friday really the best day of the week?
> 
> *no, it's the best workday of the week. Saturday and Sunday are much better. *
> 
> Imagine that you are in a white room, with white furniture and wearing white clothes. How do you feel?
> 
> *santitized, like a hospital. *


In quote


----------



## 7rr7s

meltedsorbet said:


> I don't know if it's been asked yet, but what kind of awesome names could you come up with for your penis?
> 
> Like, Moses' Staff (which parts the Red Seas) or The Goblin Slayer (?WTF?). Not sure where this is going...


My friend once asked me what I would name my cock if I had to name it after a movie. I would have to go with What Women Want. Although, Terminator Rise Of The Machine is a close second. 



phony said:


> Do you like peanut butter M&Ms?


Hell yes!



phony said:


> Thoughts on BDSM?


Always a fun time!



Jennywocky said:


> Hemp, cotton, or silk?
> 
> Because... uh... well... just asking, no real reason.


Silk. Cotton shrinks, hemp reminds me of dreadlocks, but silk is nothing but sexy and class. 



paperbrain said:


> Here are seven more questions and I encourage all men in this thread to answer them as I am enjoying reading over the answers you gentlemen gave me to the first ones I posted. I apologize a head of time if they are repetitive of other questions that may have already been posted that I missed in the thread:
> 
> What are three of your favorite films and why?
> 
> *Fight Club. Vanilla Sky. The Beach. They are awesome films. *
> 
> What are three of your favorite novels?
> 
> *Tropic Of Capricorn, The Great Gatsby, and A Movable Feast. *
> 
> What makes you decide to have sex with one woman and not another and why?
> 
> *Lots of factors. Availability, looks, expectations, it all depends. *
> 
> What do you wish women would do in bed more?
> 
> *Hmmm, be more passionate about it I guess. Don't just lie there. *
> 
> What do you wish they would stop doing in bed?
> 
> *No queefing in bed. It ruins the mood and smells horrible. *
> 
> What’s the sexiest thing a woman has told you and why?
> *
> She started kissing and biting on my neck and said she would do anything for me, whatever I wanted sexually. She was super horny and for some reason I wasn't really feeling it at that point, but she kept laying it on heavy and after a while I started to get pretty aroused. This happened while she had a strobe light on in her room and some good dance music playing too, which just kind of added to it. *
> 
> 
> What’s the most exciting thing you’ve ever seen and why?


*I was always obsessed with The Titanic as a boy, and I went and saw the Titanic exhibit they did for the 100th year anniversary of it's sinking and it was pretty powerful. They give you a ticket, and it's an actual ticket with someone who was actually a passenger. My guy was the same age as me too which made it even more crazy. It was a very moving experience.*



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Is marijuana a drug?
> 
> *Yeah. IT should be a legal one though.*
> 
> Is a peanut a nut?
> 
> *What do you call nutts on the wall?
> Wall nuts.
> 
> What do you call nutts on the chest?
> Chest nuts.
> 
> What do you call nuts on the chin?
> A dick in your mouth!
> 
> Yes, I answered this question with a dick joke. DEAL WITH IT. *
> 
> 
> Is Friday really the best day of the week?
> 
> *No. Sunday is. *
> 
> Imagine that you are in a white room, with white furniture and wearing white clothes. How do you feel?


I feel like a fucking champion!


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Have you ever worn a speedo?
> 
> (what's your opinion of them. why or why not)


No. I would imagine they are not comfortable. Along the same lines of boxers over briefs. Less restricting. I prefer board shorts.


----------



## Laguna

1000 posts. oh my! I'm sure my question was asked 200 times many many posts ago.
sigh
{ENFP walks away too shy to ask her question.}





JUST KIDDING!
Here it is. What does a male orgasm feel like?!?!?! DESCRIBE! I want to know EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!
:kitteh:


----------



## Kyandigaru

William I am said:


> Maybe they're trying to create the illusion of being in demand, but that's not what I think he's trying to do in that conversation.
> 
> If I said that, I would just be being honest. If I said that, it would be because I'm single-ish but being honest and keeping you from getting surprises. A lot of times, when people "need time apart" or even if they break up, there's sort of a 2-week cooling off period.
> If he tells you he's single and then the girl no longer wants space, he would look guilty of trying to two-time. If he tells you he's seeing somebody, you think he's taken and maybe move on.
> He's just hedging his bets and being forthcoming.


well, we've been talking a little more after he said that. And knowing me, i like the know what the hell is going on. I asked him more about "this girl" and he goes on to say, her ex-boyfriend dumped her on thanks giving. He dont really give me much conversation about her. just snipets here and there. I asked him if they would ever get back together [if they were ever together] ad he said, he dont think so cause her parents are racist??? 

That kinda goes against everything he mentioned earlier of dating her. I dunno. I think its kinda funny that all the people he mentioned are all on fb and I am too, but "this girl" isnt. Unless he lied about her name?? Eh, im not trying too hard.


----------



## Dauntless

What should I do when I can't control my physical reaction to another?


----------



## Death Persuades

Mango Kiwi said:


> 1000 posts. oh my! I'm sure my question was asked 200 times many many posts ago.
> sigh
> {ENFP walks away too shy to ask her question.}
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> JUST KIDDING!
> Here it is. What does a male orgasm feel like?!?!?! DESCRIBE! I want to know EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!
> :kitteh:


It feels like contractions in my pelvic area that release waves of pleasure and warmth to my whole body and I cannot help but make a weird face, some noise and then I get very sleepy. XD that's the best answer I can give.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

paperbrain said:


> Here are seven more questions and I encourage all men in this thread to answer them as I am enjoying reading over the answers you gentlemen gave me to the first ones I posted. I apologize a head of time if they are repetitive of other questions that may have already been posted that I missed in the thread:


ALL the men will answer whether you encourage them or not :tongue: 
And thank you for enjoying our answers :kitteh:

*What are three of your favorite films and why?*

Darn my Memory ... I know I like a lot of movies and films ... but I tend to forget them ... I was compared to Patch Adams once on PerC and that made me very happy :kitteh: (been a while since I have seen it ... I also liked What Dreams May Come ... but again, it has been a while) ... Oh, and when I was 18 I took a film and philosophy course and all the films were great, but I only remember seeing Babette's Feast in class and seeing Pulp Fiction as a homework assignment (best homework assignment I have ever had lol)

Well ... I'm kid at heart lol so I really like Disney and kid's movies ... so let's go with

Up!, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and ... um *looks for movies he has seen* Oh Big Fish ... although I really liked Sweeney Todd too

Okay ... Up!, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and Big Fish ^__^
Why? Good question lol
Okay because I am very sentimental and easily swayed by my emotions 

Up!: Right in the beginning the movie somehow makes me so attacked to these two characters in such a sweet, happy, and sad way. In a few minutes we see a story with several emotional layers starting with our sense of laughter and adorableness (I think those are two emotions that you can make someone feel the fastest because you can use the audiences already existing knowledge and you don't always need them to feel for the characters, but once they start laughing they feel closer to the characters, I think) ... Anyway, blah blah blah, we have a very emotional backstory and then, as at least I am already buttered up, we follow this old man and a boy on an adventure that stretches reality and watch them grow as characters to see what is really important ... and lots of sweetness is filled throughout :kitteh: ... and I am a sucker for cute lol

Hunchback: I love Disney Movies ... Especially ones that have beautiful scenes and are full of music ... And some of the songs are really great where it goes from one idea to the opposite, such as going from staying inside forever goes into a wish of being out among the people just once (prison to freedom) and a some goes from Heavens light and ends with Hell's fire .... I also love that the main antagonist/villain sees himself as being righteous and yet, imo, is by far the least moral character in the series because, imo, he does not have the ability to see the good in others ... there is no love, just judgement ... except he not only sees fault with everyone else, he also fails to see fault with himself. ... blah blah blah It was a good movie 

Big Fish: It is such a sweet story where a son finds out that all the tall tales his Father told him were true ... just seasoned with a bit of imagination and he reconnects with his father and tells his father's last tall tale where his father becomes what he always was ... a big fish ... It is sweet, imaginative, filled with several stories within a story, and I just really liked it lol

*What are three of your favorite novels?*

I never read much as a kid (I remember being "upset" with myself, not really upset but I can't think of a word, for being too lazy by watching t.v. instead of spending every moment of my time "bettering" myself by either learning "important things" or working out lol ... really goes against my laid back personality thought lol ... that mentality never lasted because I'm too easy going lol) ... I became more interested in the arts once I went into college, but I did not really have time for novels. ... And, as one of my Math professors said, you read so much math that once you have free time, you are not in the mood to do too much reading ... so I tend to like shorter works (To bad the Dialogues of Plato does not count lol).

Some things I remember that I liked (as a kid) were The Time Machine (although that is a novella) and The Reader (I was 16 and for the first third of the book the main character was a 16 year old who was having sex with a hot, more experienced woman ... I probably liked it because it really turned me on lol)

I'm gonna say that I don't have any lol

*What makes you decide to have sex with one woman and not another and why?*

I'm not sure I'm experienced to answer this ... but there definitely needs to be mutual interest and I have to know that she is interested in me and I am interested in her ... that is how I lost my virginity lol ... I thought she was hot and she had a "crazy" personality (not crazy crazy ... she was just load and seemed unusual and fun).

I think I would also want to be with someone I am comfortable with ... but I don't go out trying to get in people's pants (they make my butt look big ) and I am shy too lol ... so it is not like I am really choose one woman over another so much as I don't really care that much lol ... most woman I see are strangers and a stranger can only be so sexy lol (well, I suppose strangers who post clothing-free photos look very attractive when I am having some special alone time)

*What do you wish women would do in bed more?*
Um ... actually get into bed with me more XD //jk :tongue:
Idk lol ... I'm not experienced enough here lol
Be more dominant? Maybe? ... Or be more playful ^__^ :blushed:

*What do you wish they would stop doing in bed?
*
Leaving XD //jk 
I don't know lol ... I'm pretty easy to please lol

*What’s the sexiest thing a woman has told you and why?*

:blushed: ... Um ... yeah .. um ...mine will probably be different than most of the guys here :blushed:
And it had to do with her whispering in my ear, the position we were in, and the fact that she had my heart at the time 
She told me I had to do whatever she says and she said it with some playfulness :blushed::blushed::blushed:

*What’s the most exciting thing you’ve ever seen and why?*

A naked woman XD //jk :tongue:

Um ... hmmm ... Sometimes the smallest things can be the most amazing and I can think a number of things that were exciting, but I don't know if any of them stand out 
I suppose I could go with something big, such as Niagara Falls ^__^ (I would say the Grand Canyon, but I was too young to remember now), but still, sometimes the small things like catching hermit crabs on the beach can seem exciting too. ... Although Niagara Falls and the Ocean, being big, gives a great sense of awe ... and if that is what you are talking about then either Niagara Falls or being on Block Island and looking at the ocean over cliffs.

Oh, I have one ... I was walking on the beach at night and I step on something (I was wearing flip flops) and what appeared to be a green electrical storm appeared on this thing I stepped on and it turned out it was a jellyfish 

Oh, I also swam with dolphins once ^__^

Actually, I said that as a joke earlier ... but looking into the eyes of someone you romantically love, or watching your hands put a flower in her hair, or seeing her naked just have so much emotion attacked to it that it is possibly the most exciting thing I have seen ... It is those darn emotions lol ... *turns in his man card* XD

Edit: Maybe this one is more exciting ... it is at least beautiful ... and I get excited by beautiful moments 
So I had a summer internship when I was barely 19. I would see homeless people everyday asking for money, I even gave my seafood salad to a guy with an eye patch who had been jumped a few days earlier (I was scared, but it was a very public place and he was very pleasant company). There were a couple of other things that shook me near my work area (including seeing a couple of cops looking over a body that did not seem to move with what looked like blood on the fingers lying on the street ... I was to disturbed to look after the third glance). I'll add that I was feeling a severe depression that summer due to some personal issues and just about everyday I got out of work, on my way home, I would see this homeless man holding a cup. He has no legs and had the most depressing look. Anyway, I would always give him my spare change, if I had any. ... Well, almost every workday I saw that depressed look on his face. ... It looked as if all hope of happiness died within him. ... So many days I saw him and then my last day of work finally comes and I leave a few minutes early and I see a couple of women saying something to him and it was hard to believe my eyes, but he was far enough away that I wasn't sure. I eventually walk near him and I place the extra money I have in his cup and he looks up at me and does it again. He shows me a great, big, genuine smile. Just a smile, THAT is the most exciting thing I have seen



pageofadiary said:


> This thread is making me want to give my vagina a nickname...


Have you come up with one >



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Is marijuana a drug?


Yeah, but I don't care if you use it ... as long as you don't smoke in front of me (while indoors or exhale in my face lol) ... I'm not a fan of the smell lol

*Is a peanut a nut?*

I think it is technically a bean ... or maybe it is a legume? ... Meh, I still call it a nut though lol

*Is Friday really the best day of the week?*

No, Saturday is ^__^

*Imagine that you are in a white room, with white furniture and wearing white clothes. How do you feel?*

Plain, bored, ...

... and possibly scared XD  //jk




Ningsta Kitty said:


> Have you ever worn a speedo?
> 
> (what's your opinion of them. why or why not)


Nope ... and I suppose it is okay that guys wear them, but I would rather not see that lol ... I like women in bikinis, but I am not a fan of men in speedos .... I suppose I do have some double standards lol



Mango Kiwi said:


> 1000 posts. oh my! I'm sure my question was asked 200 times many many posts ago.
> sigh
> {ENFP walks away too shy to ask her question.}
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> JUST KIDDING!
> Here it is. What does a male orgasm feel like?!?!?! DESCRIBE! I want to know EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!
> :kitteh:


Good 

I'm not good at describing physical sensations lol

I'll try, but I'm not that good at it ... I feel like I should do a practice run and make a mental note of everything (but I won't ... If I was writing a story and it was integral to the story, I would ... but not right now lol)

Okay, I'll try, but I make no promises lol ... Okay, so there is this pleasure that keeps growing and growing and as time goes on a desire becomes more and more intoxicating ... It goes from a feeling of want to a feeling of need to a feeling of a need right now ... This urge grows more and more, a crescendo of pleasure, until, finally there is this pumping action felt in the penis and, like an unstoppable force of nature, ejaculation finally occurs.

And then an overwhelming and inevitable drowsiness occurs and Zzzzzzzzzz ... Just kidding (about the sleepiness part) XD :tongue:




Dauntless said:


> What should I do when I can't control my physical reaction to another?


Jump into my arms and snuggle me :kitteh:

When I have a boner and it is a stranger (so definitely not an SO) I try to hide it lol

I masturbate ... Actually, when I am feeling more lonely than usual, and I know I may see a large group of woman or be in a situation where I may be physically aroused and it has been long enough since I masturbated that it would be distracting enough ... In those case I have masturbated and then took a shower before I got ready and went to such a situation.

I mean normally I am okay, but those times were just a precaution to make sure my body did not give me a hard time in situations where I did not want to do anything with these women and where I had other things to deal with (like feeling lonely lol).

Now no woman will want to hang out with me ever again XD


----------



## Jennywocky

Mr. Meepers said:


> I masturbate ... Actually, when I am feeling more lonely than usual, and I know I may see a large group of woman or be in a situation where I may be physically aroused and it has been long enough since I masturbated that it would be distracting enough ... In those case I have masturbated and then took a shower before I got ready and went to such a situation.
> 
> I mean normally I am okay, but those times were just a precaution to make sure my body did not give me a hard time in situations where I did not want to do anything with these women and where I had other things to deal with (like feeling lonely lol).
> 
> Now no woman will want to hang out with me ever again XD


No worries. We know that thing has a mind of its own.


----------



## Sina

Have you ever gotten back with an ex and actually had the relationship succeed? If so, what did you (or her) do differently the second/whatever time around?


----------



## Inguz

Boss said:


> Have you ever gotten back with an ex and actually had the relationship succeed? If so, what did you (or her) do differently the second/whatever time around?


No, the cigar analogy seems relevant. It will never be as good re-lit after the glow has been put out once already.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Boss said:


> Have you ever gotten back with an ex and actually had the relationship succeed? If so, what did you (or her) do differently the second/whatever time around?


Well, I am single now ... What do you think? :tongue:

Although, I have gotten back together with an ex and had it lasted for another year ... and the curcumstances were different (even though it was only a couple months later), but I'm not sure we did anything differently


----------



## William I am

Kyandigaru said:


> well, we've been talking a little more after he said that. And knowing me, i like the know what the hell is going on. I asked him more about "this girl" and he goes on to say, her ex-boyfriend dumped her on thanks giving. He dont really give me much conversation about her. just snipets here and there. I asked him if they would ever get back together [if they were ever together] ad he said, he dont think so cause her parents are racist???
> 
> That kinda goes against everything he mentioned earlier of dating her. I dunno. I think its kinda funny that all the people he mentioned are all on fb and I am too, but "this girl" isnt. Unless he lied about her name?? Eh, im not trying too hard.


Hmmm. Well. What are you trying to do? I wouldn't try to track her down. Are you thinking he's lying or something?
It sounds like you're talking. Ask him out if you want to. You don't have to say it's a date or anything, just ask him to go do something you like or something so you can spend time together.



Dauntless said:


> What should I do when I can't control my physical reaction to another?


That depends on what you want to do to somebody. Also, how do you mean? What [visible] reaction?
The answers that come to mind are: 1) Avoid them 2) Hide the reaction 3) Embrace the reaction and pursue them.



Inguz said:


> No, the cigar analogy seems relevant. It will never be as good re-lit after the glow has been put out once already.


Especially after it's sat around for a while getting cold and damp.


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Is marijuana a drug?


Like coke, it's a plant that makes a drug.



> Is a peanut a nut?


Legume.



> Is Friday really the best day of the week?


Friday after 8 to before 6 on Sunday is the best time of the week.



> Imagine that you are in a white room, with white furniture and wearing white clothes. How do you feel?


Like I was in a late 90's rap video.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Have you ever worn a speedo?
> 
> (what's your opinion of them. why or why not)


Oh god no. It just feels wrong, like I'm breaking some kind of natural law. In the event I've been dragged out to go to the beach I'll wear trunks. I'm as far away from a nature lover as you can get, I love animals but I would never suggest a day in nature as an idea of a good time. Forests and mountains are tolerable but beaches have too much sun. Unless it's one of those cliff side beaches where they bay is riddled with giant jagged rocks and it seems to be perpetually cold there, then I'm game.


----------



## Dauntless

Mr. Meepers said:


> ALL the men will answer whether you encourage them or not :tongue:
> And thank you for enjoying our answers :kitteh:
> 
> *What are three of your favorite films and why?*
> 
> Darn my Memory ... I know I like a lot of movies and films ... but I tend to forget them ... I was compared to Patch Adams once on PerC and that made me very happy :kitteh: (been a while since I have seen it ... I also liked What Dreams May Come ... but again, it has been a while) ... Oh, and when I was 18 I took a film and philosophy course and all the films were great, but I only remember seeing Babette's Feast in class and seeing Pulp Fiction as a homework assignment (best homework assignment I have ever had lol)
> 
> Well ... I'm kid at heart lol so I really like Disney and kid's movies ... so let's go with
> 
> Up!, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and ... um *looks for movies he has seen* Oh Big Fish ... although I really liked Sweeney Todd too
> 
> Okay ... Up!, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and Big Fish ^__^
> Why? Good question lol
> Okay because I am very sentimental and easily swayed by my emotions
> 
> Up!: Right in the beginning the movie somehow makes me so attacked to these two characters in such a sweet, happy, and sad way. In a few minutes we see a story with several emotional layers starting with our sense of laughter and adorableness (I think those are two emotions that you can make someone feel the fastest because you can use the audiences already existing knowledge and you don't always need them to feel for the characters, but once they start laughing they feel closer to the characters, I think) ... Anyway, blah blah blah, we have a very emotional backstory and then, as at least I am already buttered up, we follow this old man and a boy on an adventure that stretches reality and watch them grow as characters to see what is really important ... and lots of sweetness is filled throughout :kitteh: ... and I am a sucker for cute lol
> 
> Hunchback: I love Disney Movies ... Especially ones that have beautiful scenes and are full of music ... And some of the songs are really great where it goes from one idea to the opposite, such as going from staying inside forever goes into a wish of being out among the people just once (prison to freedom) and a some goes from Heavens light and ends with Hell's fire .... I also love that the main antagonist/villain sees himself as being righteous and yet, imo, is by far the least moral character in the series because, imo, he does not have the ability to see the good in others ... there is no love, just judgement ... except he not only sees fault with everyone else, he also fails to see fault with himself. ... blah blah blah It was a good movie
> 
> Big Fish: It is such a sweet story where a son finds out that all the tall tales his Father told him were true ... just seasoned with a bit of imagination and he reconnects with his father and tells his father's last tall tale where his father becomes what he always was ... a big fish ... It is sweet, imaginative, filled with several stories within a story, and I just really liked it lol
> 
> *What are three of your favorite novels?*
> 
> I never read much as a kid (I remember being "upset" with myself, not really upset but I can't think of a word, for being too lazy by watching t.v. instead of spending every moment of my time "bettering" myself by either learning "important things" or working out lol ... really goes against my laid back personality thought lol ... that mentality never lasted because I'm too easy going lol) ... I became more interested in the arts once I went into college, but I did not really have time for novels. ... And, as one of my Math professors said, you read so much math that once you have free time, you are not in the mood to do too much reading ... so I tend to like shorter works (To bad the Dialogues of Plato does not count lol).
> 
> Some things I remember that I liked (as a kid) were The Time Machine (although that is a novella) and The Reader (I was 16 and for the first third of the book the main character was a 16 year old who was having sex with a hot, more experienced woman ... I probably liked it because it really turned me on lol)
> 
> I'm gonna say that I don't have any lol
> 
> *What makes you decide to have sex with one woman and not another and why?*
> 
> I'm not sure I'm experienced to answer this ... but there definitely needs to be mutual interest and I have to know that she is interested in me and I am interested in her ... that is how I lost my virginity lol ... I thought she was hot and she had a "crazy" personality (not crazy crazy ... she was just load and seemed unusual and fun).
> 
> I think I would also want to be with someone I am comfortable with ... but I don't go out trying to get in people's pants (they make my butt look big ) and I am shy too lol ... so it is not like I am really choose one woman over another so much as I don't really care that much lol ... most woman I see are strangers and a stranger can only be so sexy lol (well, I suppose strangers who post clothing-free photos look very attractive when I am having some special alone time)
> 
> *What do you wish women would do in bed more?*
> Um ... actually get into bed with me more XD //jk :tongue:
> Idk lol ... I'm not experienced enough here lol
> Be more dominant? Maybe? ... Or be more playful ^__^ :blushed:
> 
> *What do you wish they would stop doing in bed?
> *
> Leaving XD //jk
> I don't know lol ... I'm pretty easy to please lol
> 
> *What’s the sexiest thing a woman has told you and why?*
> 
> :blushed: ... Um ... yeah .. um ...mine will probably be different than most of the guys here :blushed:
> And it had to do with her whispering in my ear, the position we were in, and the fact that she had my heart at the time
> She told me I had to do whatever she says and she said it with some playfulness :blushed::blushed::blushed:
> 
> *What’s the most exciting thing you’ve ever seen and why?*
> 
> A naked woman XD //jk :tongue:
> 
> Um ... hmmm ... Sometimes the smallest things can be the most amazing and I can think a number of things that were exciting, but I don't know if any of them stand out
> I suppose I could go with something big, such as Niagara Falls ^__^ (I would say the Grand Canyon, but I was too young to remember now), but still, sometimes the small things like catching hermit crabs on the beach can seem exciting too. ... Although Niagara Falls and the Ocean, being big, gives a great sense of awe ... and if that is what you are talking about then either Niagara Falls or being on Block Island and looking at the ocean over cliffs.
> 
> Oh, I have one ... I was walking on the beach at night and I step on something (I was wearing flip flops) and what appeared to be a green electrical storm appeared on this thing I stepped on and it turned out it was a jellyfish
> 
> Oh, I also swam with dolphins once ^__^
> 
> Actually, I said that as a joke earlier ... but looking into the eyes of someone you romantically love, or watching your hands put a flower in her hair, or seeing her naked just have so much emotion attacked to it that it is possibly the most exciting thing I have seen ... It is those darn emotions lol ... *turns in his man card* XD
> 
> Edit: Maybe this one is more exciting ... it is at least beautiful ... and I get excited by beautiful moments
> So I had a summer internship when I was barely 19. I would see homeless people everyday asking for money, I even gave my seafood salad to a guy with an eye patch who had been jumped a few days earlier (I was scared, but it was a very public place and he was very pleasant company). There were a couple of other things that shook me near my work area (including seeing a couple of cops looking over a body that did not seem to move with what looked like blood on the fingers lying on the street ... I was to disturbed to look after the third glance). I'll add that I was feeling a severe depression that summer due to some personal issues and just about everyday I got out of work, on my way home, I would see this homeless man holding a cup. He has no legs and had the most depressing look. Anyway, I would always give him my spare change, if I had any. ... Well, almost every workday I saw that depressed look on his face. ... It looked as if all hope of happiness died within him. ... So many days I saw him and then my last day of work finally comes and I leave a few minutes early and I see a couple of women saying something to him and it was hard to believe my eyes, but he was far enough away that I wasn't sure. I eventually walk near him and I place the extra money I have in his cup and he looks up at me and does it again. He shows me a great, big, genuine smile. Just a smile, THAT is the most exciting thing I have seen
> 
> 
> 
> Have you come up with one >
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah, but I don't care if you use it ... as long as you don't smoke in front of me (while indoors or exhale in my face lol) ... I'm not a fan of the smell lol
> 
> *Is a peanut a nut?*
> 
> I think it is technically a bean ... or maybe it is a legume? ... Meh, I still call it a nut though lol
> 
> *Is Friday really the best day of the week?*
> 
> No, Saturday is ^__^
> 
> *Imagine that you are in a white room, with white furniture and wearing white clothes. How do you feel?*
> 
> Plain, bored, ...
> 
> ... and possibly scared XD  //jk
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Nope ... and I suppose it is okay that guys wear them, but I would rather not see that lol ... I like women in bikinis, but I am not a fan of men in speedos .... I suppose I do have some double standards lol
> 
> 
> 
> Good
> 
> I'm not good at describing physical sensations lol
> 
> I'll try, but I'm not that good at it ... I feel like I should do a practice run and make a mental note of everything (but I won't ... If I was writing a story and it was integral to the story, I would ... but not right now lol)
> 
> Okay, I'll try, but I make no promises lol ... Okay, so there is this pleasure that keeps growing and growing and as time goes on a desire becomes more and more intoxicating ... It goes from a feeling of want to a feeling of need to a feeling of a need right now ... This urge grows more and more, a crescendo of pleasure, until, finally there is this pumping action felt in the penis and, like an unstoppable force of nature, ejaculation finally occurs.
> 
> And then an overwhelming and inevitable drowsiness occurs and Zzzzzzzzzz ... Just kidding (about the sleepiness part) XD :tongue:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Jump into my arms and snuggle me :kitteh:
> 
> When I have a boner and it is a stranger (so definitely not an SO) I try to hide it lol
> 
> I masturbate ... Actually, when I am feeling more lonely than usual, and I know I may see a large group of woman or be in a situation where I may be physically aroused and it has been long enough since I masturbated that it would be distracting enough ... In those case I have masturbated and then took a shower before I got ready and went to such a situation.
> 
> I mean normally I am okay, but those times were just a precaution to make sure my body did not give me a hard time in situations where I did not want to do anything with these women and where I had other things to deal with (like feeling lonely lol).
> 
> Now no woman will want to hang out with me ever again XD


SO much of this I would reply to, but haven't the time at present, so..

1. Points for the Grand Canyon, Arizona always
2. "And it had to do with her whispering in my ear, the position we were in, and the fact that she had my heart at the time."
3. I am copying this to reply via PM tonight.


----------



## wiarumas

Mango Kiwi said:


> 1000 posts. oh my! I'm sure my question was asked 200 times many many posts ago.
> sigh
> {ENFP walks away too shy to ask her question.}
> 
> JUST KIDDING!
> Here it is. What does a male orgasm feel like?!?!?! DESCRIBE! I want to know EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!
> :kitteh:


It feels like building pressure and then a feel good explosion. Explosion is a great word for it because it feels great for a couple seconds - maybe around 3-5 seconds and then fades out for an additional 5-10 seconds. Then, nothing. 

The length, duration, intensity of the explosion depends on the built up pressure. Being turned on big time, foreplay, duration and quality of sex, and the last time you had sex build things up more and likewise can make it feel better.

It's kinda cruel in a way how we are different. Men have orgasms feel like an accelerating car crashing into a wall. Once it's done, it's done. Women are like a train - slow to start but gets faster and more momentum as time goes on. Almost no stopping it.


----------



## wiarumas

Dauntless said:


> What should I do when I can't control my physical reaction to another?


Nothing. Find someone who doesn't mind it. No shame in being honest and transparent.


----------



## petite libellule

What is the most ridiculous pick up line that you have ever used? Did it work?


----------



## wiarumas

Boss said:


> Have you ever gotten back with an ex and actually had the relationship succeed? If so, what did you (or her) do differently the second/whatever time around?


No. The same problems will resurface. People don't change that much. Unless it was a stupid reason to break up, history will repeat itself. 

With that said, the one time i got back with an ex, it was more successful than the first time, but still not "successful"... We were older, more experienced, knew who we were better, knew what we expected of our SO, but again, were not compatiable when it came down to it. I think we both knew the relationship was going to inevitably fail, and it was more about closing up loose ends and doing things right one last time before we go our separate ways.


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> What is the most ridiculous pick up line that you have ever used? Did it work?


"Hey you. I'm dressed like a pirate." (It was Halloween and my costume consisted of a pirate hat and normal clothes)

It worked.


----------



## android654

Through song describe your mindset when you're in an intense relationship. A toxic one. A relationship that feels a little more standard.

I'll answer it myself in a bit.


----------



## wiarumas

carlaviii said:


> In light of the question over in the ladies' thread, I'm going to ask you guys to post a personal theme song. Something that feels like it fits you. Explanations optional, but encouraged.
> 
> ASIDE from the 007 theme, Mission Impossible, Indiana Jones, that is. Though I'm sure they fit you guys perfectly. :wink:


Hendrix - voodoo child
Zz top - sharp dressed man


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> :blushed: Thank You ...
> 
> :: :: ::
> Okay. These are super secret ninja questions. :ninja:
> 
> 1. Hypothetically you were super smart. Let's hypothetically say you had a piece of paper to back up that you were super smart. But you didn't want to be something stupid like a genius. As a matter of fact, you excelled at stupid choices. Are you smart, or are you stupid ?
> 
> *a piece of paper or a label doesn't make someone smart. It's the ability to apply that intelligence for tangible return. Actions and results speak louder than a piece of paper or the judgment of an institution which in this scenario would be under question. *
> 
> 2. So the whole world has just voted you super awesome and creatively spectacular. But your family thought you were insane, difficult, and a royal pain in the ass. So much so that you piss everyone off. Are you still spectacular?
> 
> *the label spectacular is subjective and not everyone needs to share the same perspective. I would be spectacular in the eyes of millions and not spectacular in the eyes of my family. Perfectly acceptable. There doesn't have to be universal consensus. It just depends on who you ask. Some people like pizza, some don't for example. Is it any less delicious if someone doesn't like it?*
> 
> 3. So you went your whole entire life just KNOWING that there was something out there, a higher power if you will. Even before anyone really started educating you about it. And then one day, you read the news and it tells you that you are nothing but a conglomeration of brain squish. The paper says this is because when a crazy person is super crazy, they can be put on meds alleviating them of their "crazy". Therefore, they must be their brain squish. (you follow so far?) okay. So then this dude says hey, that's not right. My name is Smokey Bear. And my job is to prevent forest fires. And throughout all these years I've learned a thing or two about trees. And when a tree is sick they treat the soil. And that is how the tree gets better. So if you are brain squish then the soil must be a tree. So really. You aren't brain squish. You are really just crazy and need to check your meds.
> 
> what say you? Lol!!!
> 
> *the ability to question your sanity is a sign that you are sane. From my experiences with family members with mental disorders, one of the signs something isn't right is the denial there is a problem. In this scenario I would seek help in the form of a third party that I am indeed sane or that I am not having the clarity of mind that I think I am having. In the scenario you provided, I would seek validation through a third party because my perception of reality seems skewed and not logical. Which could mean that my brain is not perceiving or processing information correctly. *


In quote


----------



## wiarumas

carlaviii said:


> In light of the question over in the ladies' thread, I'm going to ask you guys to post a personal theme song. Something that feels like it fits you. Explanations optional, but encouraged.
> 
> ASIDE from the 007 theme, Mission Impossible, Indiana Jones, that is. Though I'm sure they fit you guys perfectly. :wink:


Sorry - forgot one. 

Acdc - big balls


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> If you were to be president, what year would you prefer?
> 
> *2032*
> 
> If you were to be poor, what generation would you prefer?
> 
> *The current generation. What is it, Z?*
> 
> If you were to be a woman, which country and what year would you want to have been born in?
> 
> *USA - maybe sometime 2000 onward. I would have a good prospective future. Possibly a shot at presidency. *
> 
> stopping questions now  *too much!*


In quote


----------



## phony

Is this a look of horror or amazement? Both?


----------



## wiarumas

phony said:


> Is this a look of horror or amazement? Both?


Horror. Almost looks like anger. Disappoitment? Eyebrows down like a furrowed brow and mouth like a yell. I think mouth muscles wouldn't be as tense if it was amazement/astonishment.


----------



## phony

wiarumas said:


> Horror. Almost looks like anger. Disappoitment? Eyebrows down like a furrowed brow and mouth like a yell. I think mouth muscles wouldn't be as tense if it was amazement/astonishment.


woaah. I wonder what happened. Maybe there was a pineapple there, like in that episode of south park where paris hilton comes and has that competition.


----------



## wiarumas

phony said:


> woaah. I wonder what happened. Maybe there was a pineapple there, like in that episode of south park where paris hilton comes and has that competition.


I thought possibly he saw some balls. *shrug*


----------



## phony

wiarumas said:


> I thought possibly he saw some balls. *shrug*


Maybe it's because he _didn't_ see some balls.


----------



## android654

android654 said:


> Through song describe your mindset when you're in an intense relationship.









> A toxic one.







^^She's hot btw.



> A relationship that feels a little more standard.










carlaviii said:


> In light of the question over in the ladies' thread, I'm going to ask you guys to post a personal theme song. Something that feels like it fits you. Explanations optional, but encouraged.


I can't pick one, that would be dishonest to say I could boil myself down into one song, or a dozen. However, there are limits to what I can link in a post, so I'll pick two that describe me as of late.






Lyrics:


> I saw a savior, a savior come my way I thought I'd see it in the cold light of day But now I realize that I'm only for me
> If only I could see, return myself to me And recognize the poison in my heart There is no other place, no one else I face The remedy will agree with how I feel
> Here in my reflecting, what more can I say For I am guilty for the voice that I obey Too scared to sacrifice a choice chosen for me
> If only I could see, return myself to me And recognize the poison in my heart There is no other place, no one else I face The remedy to agree with how I feel




It's something of an obsession of mine to be somewhat obsessed with my person. I find myself questioning everything I do, not in attempt to correct my behavior or police my thinking in some way, but rather to establish a better understanding of who I am. I think the only place where answers like that can ever be found are in yourself and this song capsulizes that message. 






lyrics:


> Shame, such a shame
> I think I kind of lost myself again
> Day, yesterday
> Really should be leaving but I stay
> 
> Say, say my name
> I need a little love to ease the pain
> I need a little love to ease the pain
> It's easy to remember when it came
> 
> 'Cause it feels like I've been
> I've been here before
> You are not my savior
> But I still don't go
> 
> Feels like something
> That I've done before
> I could fake it
> But I still want more
> 
> Fade, made to fade
> Passion's overrated anyway
> Say, say my name
> I need a little love to ease the pain
> I need a little love to ease the pain
> It's easy to remember when it came
> 
> 'Cause it feels like I've been
> I've been here before


I could guess why I picked this one, then you've been reading my diary I'm going to booby trap my place to keep you out.
​


----------



## wiarumas

android654 said:


> Through song describe your mindset when you're in an intense relationship. A toxic one. A relationship that feels a little more standard.
> 
> I'll answer it myself in a bit.


Mine is more chronological. 

The good but empty times. I know it's flawed/toxic. Ride it out:

NIN - closer
Rolling Stones - can't you hear me knocking

The falling apart. It's that stage when you know it's ending but still put up with it. I stopped doing this at one point in my life but I remember when I have:

Tool - schism
Chevelle - closure

The end has happened and the anger and bravado to survive it. I justify myself to myself. 

Audioslave - Cochise

The smoke settles and I still remain. I get melancholy like a crash from my anger-high. Still feeling strength though that I survived. 

Stoned Jesus - I am the mountain
Audioslave - I am the highway

And of course, the closure. I accepted what happened. Good times ensues. I'm over it and ready to move on. 

Lynyrd skynyrd - freebird


----------



## wiarumas

Also, I just lumped all the intense and toxic ones together. They typically go hand in hand for me. 

Standard ones have no songs I guess. Cars just what I needed? Cars let the good times roll? Zz top - legs?


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Oh @_Mr. Meepers_, you flatter me :blushed:


:kitteh:

*may I re-word?*
Sure ^__^

*1. would you rather have the whole world love you and the people who matter most hate you.
Or the whole world hate you and the people that matter most love you.*
I'd rather have the whole world hate me and have the people that matter most love me ... so the latter option

*2. would you rather be a creative genius but doing anything with it being a very small chance. 
Or would you rather have mediocre intelligence and have all the opportunity in the world.*
Well, although I like to live in my head a lot ... I think I would go with all the opportunities in the world ... I could still live in my head, but I would just have more options to live outside my head :kitteh:

*3. would you rather wear flip flops or sandals *
Flip Flops

*oh. and what if they didn't make mini harps ? would you buy a full size one. what if you guys lived in a really small space, would you still get one because you'd know it would make her the happiest little girl in the whole wide world. Or would you settle with a guitar ?*
But Google said they do make children's harps , but I would buy her the full size one, even if we were in a small space ... I would probably had to help her play with it as her arms would probably be too small (hence why I wanted her to have a smaller harp)

"you'd know it would make her the happiest little girl in the whole wide world"
You realise, when you use that wording, it is impossible to say "no" lol




phony said:


> >If you are into guys, everyone in the list is male, mmkay', no cheating.
> >Also, all the specifics are to your personal taste mmkay',' no cheating.
> >And yes you have to find the mer-maid/man attractive, come on, don't hurt their merpeople feels.
> 
> Who would you find more attractive;


I believe a male mermaid is called a merman :happy:

*1. A mermaid with her top half fish or a mermaid with her bottom half fish?*
So my choices are not knowing how to have sex with her or not being able to be aroused by her because she is a fish  *salivates* ... sushi? 
I'll choose bottom half fish ... Presumably, she would have the brain of a human, and hopefully we could speak the same language ... although her top half would have to be slightly different that a normal human as she has to be able to live out in the sea ... But she could tell be about the sea as I tell her about land .... and, as far as "sex" goes, I could always get a handjob or receive oral underwater 

*2. A woman who looks like a model with a boring personality but is still nice, or a chubby lady (who will never lose her chub) with your ultimate personality match?*
Ultimate personality match ... Boring models are not that hot anyways :tongue: ... and Ultimate Personality Matches are way sexier than all other women :kitteh:

*3. A batshit crazy cat lady or a lady who absolutely hates all animals in a batshit crazy way?*
This is tough ... I'd rather not be with either ... The crazy cat lady probably has a filthy house and the woman who hates animals hates animals (not afraid of, but hates)  ... I suppose I would go with the woman that hates animals (maybe she had a traumatizing experience) ... at least with her, we could avoid her problem if need be

Well, if the batshit crazy cat lady was getting help, I might think about it as she is presumably full of love ... unless she only loves cats or loves cats more than people, then I'll stick with the crazy animal hater

*4. A pretty girl who is always messy (crap clothes, ruffled hair, maybe some sauce on her face, etc.) or a very plain girl who is dolled up all the time?*
Mess doesn't bother me too much ... As far as the sauce on her face, if she just ate food and she is just a messy eater then I would think it was cute and probably lick it off her > (assuming we were dating) ... if the sauce has been on her face for over a day and is all crusted over, I would probably run to the other woman lol

*5. A 16-year old girl or a 56 year-old woman?*
A 16-year old girl probably has the mentality of a high schooler and that of a child, and being so young she has some major life changes to experience that with cause major growth ... I am not Pedo-bear ... and her legality is iffy (I think it depends on the state, in the U.S.)

A 56 year-old woman would not make me feel like pedo-bear lol ... I'll go with the 56 year old woman




phony said:


> Way to make assumptions, I never said you could have sexytime with the mermaid
> 
> Don't you remember that episode of family guy?


I said we could have sexy times with the mermaid we meet ^__^ (notice, it was the human that said no )




android654 said:


> Through song describe your mindset when you're in an intense relationship. A toxic one. A relationship that feels a little more standard.
> 
> I'll answer it myself in a bit.


I'll answer for a "standard" romantic relationship (standard to me ... although I am not that experienced)

Hmm it has been a while, but I don't think one song can really describe a relationship or my mindset ... There are so many emotions and the mind is not very static lol













This next song may be a little cheesy and over the top, but I'm gonna put it here for those parts in a relationship where you feel like you are falling in love over and over again ... from looking into their eyes and listening to what they said





And, of course, a best friend







phony said:


> Is this a look of horror or amazement? Both?


To me, it looks like it goes from excitement to horror 
Shocked and angry at what he is seeing ...
It is probably a trap lol


----------



## phony

does anyone else notice all the softcore pornography pictures or something?


----------



## carlaviii

android654 said:


> I could guess why I picked this one, then you've been reading my diary I'm going to booby trap my place to keep you out.


Love me some Portishead and Massive Attack. Lots of good music turning up from these questions!


----------



## Roland Khan

Testicles smashed with a hammer....or sodomized with a cattle prod?


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Oh @Mr. Meepers, you flatter me :blushed:
> 
> may I re-word?
> 
> 1. would you rather have the whole world love you and the people who matter most hate you.
> Or the whole world hate you and the people that matter most love you.
> 
> *i prefer the whole world to hate me. I have no issue with that. I'm skeptical of strangers by default. And I don't live with them. *
> 
> 2. would you rather be a creative genius but doing anything with it being a very small chance.
> Or would you rather have mediocre intelligence and have all the opportunity in the world.
> 
> *whats the point of having genius of you can't use it? It's like having a big dick and dying a virgin. The universe is indifferent to potential. It's about doing. *
> 
> 3. would you rather wear flip flops or sandals
> 
> *I thought they were the same thing? Flip flops. I wear them a lot in summer. *
> 
> oh. and what if they didn't make mini harps ? would you buy a full size one. what if you guys lived in a really small space, would you still get one because you'd know it would make her the happiest little girl in the whole wide world. Or would you settle with a guitar ?
> 
> *id rent out storage at the music place where she would receive lessons. *


in quote


----------



## wiarumas

Hmm missed this one. Did I miss any others? Feel free to bump it if I have. 



phony said:


> >If you are into guys, everyone in the list is male, mmkay', no cheating.
> >Also, all the specifics are to your personal taste mmkay',' no cheating.
> >And yes you have to find the mer-maid/man attractive, come on, don't hurt their merpeople feels.
> 
> Who would you find more attractive;
> 
> 1. A mermaid with her top half fish or a mermaid with her bottom half fish?
> 
> *Bottom half fish. Still resembles a human. *
> 
> 2. A woman who looks like a model with a boring personality but is still nice, or a chubby lady (who will never lose her chub) with your ultimate personality match?
> 
> *Boring model. Nice is sufficient. I don't mind boring. Pretty and nice is a good combo. *
> 
> 3. A batshit crazy cat lady or a lady who absolutely hates all animals in a batshit crazy way?
> 
> *Animal hater. I can't tolerate batshit crazy all the time. Rather have it contained to just animals. *
> 
> 4. A pretty girl who is always messy (crap clothes, ruffled hair, maybe some sauce on her face, etc.) or a very plain girl who is dolled up all the time?
> 
> *Plain girl. Sounds like the pretty girl has behavioral or personality traits I don't like. *
> 
> 5. A 16-year old girl or a 56 year-old woman?
> 
> *either. Depends on other factors. All thing equal, 16 year old has more years left in her. *


In quote


----------



## android654

phony said:


> does anyone else notice all the softcore pornography pictures or something?


What do you mean?


----------



## phony

Mr. Meepers said:


> *Can you unhook a bra with one hand? How many seconds/minutes does it take?
> *Yes, but it has been a while (I .. um ... need to practice > ) ... only a few seconds, unless I messed up and one of the hooks didn't unhook


I learnt how to unhook a bra with one hand from Zac Efron o_o


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> How many pairs of boobs have you seen in your lifetime ?


Quite a few.



> Can you guess a woman's bra size just by looking with a fair amount of accuracy?


Anything below a DD I can guess pretty accurately most of the time, anything bigger than that and I find myself wondering what happens to make them that big. 



> Can you unhook a bra with one hand?


With ease.



> How many seconds/minutes does it take?


If I do it right you wouldn't know I did anything at all until it was off, otherwise it take a second or two.


----------



## 7rr7s

Ningsta Kitty said:


> 1. Love is what changes the punctuation of question marks ... what do you think of that statement?
> 
> *I don't believe in it. Love, and the whole concept of love will always remain a question mark. Love is a mystery, a deep sacred one, and to think we can even begin to fathom the true depths of it, is naive. That's the beauty of it though, the more layers you penetrate, the more you enter into the deeper mysteries of it. *
> 
> 2. If one day you were diagnosed with a disease that caused you to mutate into a pygmy. What would you do if hypothetically it resulted in you being incapable of working in the field you worked in, and your wife or girlfriend broke up with you. All because you became a pygmy. How would you feel? What would you do? What job/career would you consider? would you try to find love again? what new hobbies would you take on, if any at all.
> 
> *I think it would actually be alright. No more pain, or pressure, or expectations or conditioning or rules that society lays on top of you(except tribal rules of course). I'd be free, in my natural state, one with nature, happy as a clam. I would probably become a shaman or a warrior, eventually trying to become Head Pygmy Chief of my tribe. Who needs love when you are a fucking pygmy?! Just procreate is all, maybe have a harem or something, who knows. Rules are different in Pygmy land! New hobbies would include: ancient blood letting rituals, blood sport with my fellow pygmies, endurance challenges against nature, spiritual fasting, hallucinogenic journeys, and of course hunting! *
> 
> Please end this answer with a picture of your new style (wardrobe) as you would no longer fit into any of your old clothes.
> 
> *My new wardrobe would look like this:
> 
> *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *Dammit now I want to be a Pygmy.
> *





Ningsta Kitty said:


> How many pairs of boobs have you seen in your lifetime ?
> 
> *Not enough. ;D*
> 
> Can you guess a woman's bra size just by looking with a fair amount of accuracy?
> 
> *Yes and no. I'm pretty good at guessing correctly, however I've heard that 90% of women are wearing the wrong cup size, so I'm not sure if that makes my answers correct. *
> 
> Can you unhook a bra with one hand? How many seconds/minutes does it take?


Yeah I can. Only a few seconds, but I've never timed myself haha. Maybe I should. For science of course.


----------



## phony

William I am said:


> Hahaha, yes... the two were not related except that they were similarly painful, though there was this one time where I used my big toe to..... nevermind. I'm not into feet stuff it could just reach better than my hands
> 
> Fergie? Like Fergie Furg?


Woah... Lol k settles it, virgin 4 lyfe.

Like fergilicious definition make them boys go loco,
They want her treasure so they get their pleasure from her photo, (holy lemons I get it now...)
And fergie ferg gonna' luv you long time. *beat beat beat beat*


----------



## Jennywocky

KindOfBlue06 said:


> Yeah I can. Only a few seconds, but I've never timed myself haha. Maybe I should. For science of course.


Thattaboy!


----------



## .Crow

Do you think a exclusive relationship that has everything _but_ sex can thrive?


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> How many pairs of boobs have you seen in your lifetime ?
> 
> *in real life, maybe about 30 or so. If you include media (pictures, movies, etc). Hundreds if not thousands. *
> 
> Can you guess a woman's bra size just by looking with a fair amount of accuracy?
> 
> *no. Maybe cup size letter within a couple sizes of deviation. *
> 
> Can you unhook a bra with one hand? How many seconds/minutes does it take?
> 
> *one hand in one swift move. Maybe 1-3 seconds. Most of the time is my hand navigating to the bra strap and not actually the unhooking. Basically I use my middle finger to hold the one side in place as my thumb and pointer finger grab a hold of the other side and do a pull to the right and up and away motion. 3 or more hooks can be trickier than 2 which basically fall off on their own without much effort. I think 3 seem to be the most common but are still relatively easy. 4 can hold me up a bit because the one swoop motion is not sufficient and requires more tinkering. *


In quote


----------



## wiarumas

.Crow said:


> Do you think a exclusive relationship that has everything _but_ sex can thrive?


Depends on the sex drive of the people. I think some who have little interest in sex, could. Others, with healthy or over active libidos, cannot.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

What movies/tv shows did you like as a kid?

Is there a celebrity you find very attractive or is a good example of your ideal woman (appearance wise)?

You're in the mall, and you have no other choice but to choose a store there to buy an outfit, which store would that be? What about if it was the only store you could ever shop for clothes at again, would you choose the same store or another? 

If you could only eat one kind of meat for the rest of your life, which would it be? Which one would you give up the easiest?


----------



## JaySH

Ningsta Kitty said:


> How many pairs of boobs have you seen in your lifetime ?
> *Many...many shapes...many sizes...*
> Can you guess a woman's bra size just by looking with a fair amount of accuracy?
> *
> Yes. Cup size I'm almost always dead on. Strap size I always give 2 and 1 is almost always right. *
> 
> 
> Can you unhook a bra with one hand? How many seconds/minutes does it take?


*Too quick to time. As someone mentioned, more hooks does add difficulty but is usually still very fast. I have noticed when my hands are dry, I sometimes have a little more of an issue...the strap slips as I pinch, I guess. I'll now be caught by her and joke they must be treasures cause this is like fort knox(or fort knockers...never said that though *

*P.S. weird...I was just having a conversation about this exact thing last night with someone...*


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> What movies/tv shows did you like as a kid?
> 
> *ghostbusters, terminator, clash of the titans (original), Heman, Conan the barbarian, Star Wars, Sesame Street, the elephant show (skinnanarinkdink?), I forget what else. *
> 
> Is there a celebrity you find very attractive or is a good example of your ideal woman (appearance wise)?
> 
> *i dont know many celebrities but kate beckinsale is one of my favorites. Which drives my wife nuts because she is like the ultimate brunette and my wife is like an extreme blonde. *
> 
> You're in the mall, and you have no other choice but to choose a store there to buy an outfit, which store would that be? What about if it was the only store you could ever shop for clothes at again, would you choose the same store or another?
> 
> *maybe nordstrom for options or banana republic.*
> 
> If you could only eat one kind of meat for the rest of your life, which would it be? Which one would you give up the easiest?
> 
> Most likely chicken. It can be prepared in a lot of ways. Although beef was a close call, it's a bit too hearty and not as dynamic in ways it can be prepared. I could give up turkey forever.


In quote


----------



## android654

Enfpleasantly said:


> What movies/tv shows did you like as a kid?


By "kid," I'm making the cap at 12. Mostly because I don't remember small details of when I was younger for some reason.

Movies:









































T.V. shows:




























> Is there a celebrity you find very attractive or is a good example of your ideal woman (appearance wise)?


Milla Jovovich








about as close to perfect as you can get.



> You're in the mall, and you have no other choice but to choose a store there to buy an outfit, which store would that be? What about if it was the only store you could ever shop for clothes at again, would you choose the same store or another?


I'd just buy my stuff from Jackthreads.



> If you could only eat one kind of meat for the rest of your life, which would it be? Which one would you give up the easiest?


I'd keep fish and I'd go without goat. I would've said pork, but that's too easy since I'm allergic. Goat's easy for me to give up since I find it to be a rather greasy meat.


----------



## Meirsho

What movies/tv shows did you like as a kid?
*well their are a lot and it's not something i normaly think about^^ flinsotnes,simpsons..anything on^^*
Is there a celebrity you find very attractive or is a good example of your ideal woman (appearance wise)?
*sure! many come to mind,mila kunis and angelina jolie when she was younger,audrey hepburn,amanda bynes with dark hair *
You're in the mall, and you have no other choice but to choose a store there to buy an outfit, which store would that be? What about if it was the only store you could ever shop for clothes at again, would you choose the same store or another? 
*well i'm only 19 and love to waur many styles so it's hard to decide..the one with the cuttiest sales-girl 
*If you could only eat one kind of meat for the rest of your life, which would it be? Which one would you give up the easiest?
*shawarma!!!best ever!!!and i'll give up on on anything else equely**
well i think we should be able to counter-ask..if you ask we should be able to ask u something 
*


----------



## Mr. Meepers

.Crow said:


> Do you think a exclusive relationship that has everything _but_ sex can thrive?


Depends on the couple .... Certainly if they were both asexual.
They probably could if sex itself was not a big deal to either party

Personally, I liked some sexual intimacy in the relationships I was in, but you don't necessarily need to have sex for that. I was in a relationship for a couple of years (neither of us were virgins) without actually intercourse ... but we got each other off in other ways (just gonna put this out there, touching your partner while he/she masturbates, especially if you are both naked, and whispering in your partner's ear ... or "taking over" for them can feel really nice  )




Enfpleasantly said:


> What movies/tv shows did you like as a kid?


Hmmm ... I'm trying to think of timelines here
I remember, before my parents separated I used to watch Hercules, Xena, and the history channel when my Dad watched them. ... Otherwise I would watch Nickelodeon shows and shows on Cartoon Network ... I really liked Scooby Doo (Velma was hot :wink: :tongue: ... well, I probably did not think that until sometime after I was 10 lol).

I know in middle school, I liked a show called Dragon Ball and I like the science, space, nature, and engineering shows on the Discovery Channel.

At some point I was sporadically watching that Pokemon show 

and other stuff lol

Well, as far as movies go ... I certainly watched some Disney movies ... and other kid's movies lol

*Is there a celebrity you find very attractive or is a good example of your ideal woman (appearance wise)?*
I have no clue lol ... I was talking to someone over the summer and they asked me what celebrity did I find
to be the most attractive and I told her that I don't know celebrities that well and I had to go online, find "hot" celebrities and then look at Google images of them lol

Also, I'm not even sure I have much of an ideal body type ... I suppose I prefer short women and I usual prefer a larger chest, but I don't really care that much lol

Oh, I know an actress that is on this t.v. show (30 Rock) and I think she is just so cute :kitteh: (I admit, I am a little biased because of her character lol ... it is hard to separate completely actual looks and how their personality affects how you see them, imo) ... Tina Fey is :kitteh:

*You're in the mall, and you have no other choice but to choose a store there to buy an outfit, which store would that be? What about if it was the only store you could ever shop for clothes at again, would you choose the same store or another? *
Um ... Idk lol ... Probably one of the department stores ... like Kohl's or something ... It has a little bit of everything (dress clothes, casual clothes, other clothes lol, ... underwear, socks, shoes, ties, ...) and it is not to expensive (I'm not really into shopping for clothes lol, unless I have to) ... I would choose Kohl's in both scenarios I suppose. 

*If you could only eat one kind of meat for the rest of your life, which would it be? Which one would you give up the easiest?*

I really want beef, but it is not something I should eat that much ... Bison meat  (tastes better and is lower in fat and cholesterol) ... although, they don't serve that at many restaurants lol
If you include how it is prepared, salami is my favorite meat and I have not had that in years lol ... I also found these vegan veggie burgers that taste pretty good and I have to try these veggie crumbles that you can use to replace ground beef ... The veggie imitation chicken is okay

If we are sticking to land animals, I suppose chicken ... If we are choosing from all animals ... well I like sushi, so fish (or at least salmon ... I could have lox then  ... I haven't had lox in a while) ... but, if I eat out, chicken is still more guaranteed the fish ... I suppose chicken

Easiest to give up ... well I have not had frog meat in years (I only had it twice, so frog meat ) ... I suppose pork would be pretty easy to give up too (I'm temporarily giving it up right now lol)


----------



## milti

Ningsta Kitty said:


> @milti I am so very sorry about your situation. :sad: while I admire your ability to forgive your ex, I think it's okay to feel a little upset about it too. I've heard of some atrocious stories (actually 2 in particular). One woman I know had a mastectomy and her bf of 10 yrs dumped her. But I think it's fair to consider in her situation, her attitude was toxically negative and that I think, had much to do with it opposed to the condition itself. Another person I know by acquaintance, in his 50's. He's a piece of cow dung. His wife of 20 yrs was dying a slow death of pancreatic cancer. He not only divorced her but sued her for denial of affection or some outrageous claim, because he wasn't able to have sex with her during treatment. He won. I think it had something to do with the Dr. botching something rendering her incapable of sex. Seriously effed up. I could ask my mom for more details because it's someone her and all her friends know from grammar school, and on occasion they see him out and about hitting on young women (about my age) which is seriously just repulsive. On a personal level, I can empathize too. I've had poor experiences though maybe not as extreme. I have a little boy w/ autism. One of the men I dated after my husband died essentially couldn't wait to have him put in a home. Needless to say, that relationship didn't work for a variety of reasons. He's now married with a baby. I sure hope his baby isn't afflicted with anything. I also have had other hurtful scenarios of things said/done to me that are difficult to forget. But even if we never forget, we are who we are, and most certainly deserve people in our life whom we adore, who love us. Try not to feel bad. You're not alone. Anyone who can't be patient and understanding is most certainly not capable of bringing out the best in us. Which frankly speaking, isn't our problem. So even if it hurts, remember this: "Not my problem". So eff people who don't matter.* Find your happy* regardless of your scenario. Because tomorrow truly is promised to no one as was mentioned, and it can ALWAYS - ALWAYS be worse ...
> 
> :: :: ::



 @_Ningsta Kitty_ 










Thanks for your kind words. <3 The situation is not as dire as I made it sound above. I do have a long-term condition that is difficult for me to get insurance to cover, and will almost certainly require further surgery in the future. Moreover, my cardiologist says I should have genetic counselling before I try to pass on my genes. 
Anyway, I'm young and have some time before those questions will become big problems. This previous relationship was the first time I was actually forced to confront questions like those, and I must say I was quite blind-sided by his reaction.
I don't have any ill-will towards anyone who thinks like that. Rather, it shows some level of maturity if they are willing to think seriously and have an adult discussion about the future (if that's how far the relationship intends to go)

Hugs to your little boy. I love kids, and "special" kids in particular, because I was once a bit like them.


----------



## 7rr7s

.Crow said:


> Do you think a exclusive relationship that has everything _but_ sex can thrive?


Maybe for others, but not for me. 



Enfpleasantly said:


> What movies/tv shows did you like as a kid?
> 
> *Raiders Of The Lost Ark, Jurassic Park, Jungle Book, 101 Dalmations, The Sandlot, Johnny Quest, **Sightings, Ripley's Believe It Or Not, and some documentary I saw on the Bermuda Triangle. Sadl**y I don't remember the name of it though. LOL, looking at my list though, not a whole lot has changed. XD*
> 
> Is there a celebrity you find very attractive or is a good example of your ideal woman (appearance wise)?
> 
> *KIM KARDASHIAN. <333 Kanye is a real motherfucker... Also, Anne Hathaway, Kate Beckinsale, Sofia Vergara, Eva Longoria, **Penelope Cruz, and SNOOKIE. Yeah I said it. *FIST PUMPS* *
> 
> You're in the mall, and you have no other choice but to choose a store there to buy an outfit, which store would that be? What about if it was the only store you could ever shop for clothes at again, would you choose the same store or another?
> 
> *Express!!! And hell yeah I'd choose the same store. I'm fucked if they ever go out of business, but then again I feel like I'm the one keeping them in business sometimes. *
> 
> If you could only eat one kind of meat for the rest of your life, which would it be? Which one would you give up the easiest?


Steak for the rest of my days. Pork would be the easiest to give up too. Eating steak and wearing Express. I may not live long, but at least I'll be looking good and eating well! Live and die a champion!


----------



## countrygirl90

1.its a old saying that the path to a man's heart goes through his stomach while modern saying is *Ahem* below the the stomach ,which one is true .
2.What actually a man seeks out of a long lasting relationship apart from sex.
3.What is the thing you dislike about women physically and emotionally.


----------



## petite libellule

what do you think of the following (cumbersome) statements: These are pretty negative sounding statements. Putting whatever your feeling might be of them aside, what do you think about them ?

1. There are 2 kinds of people in this world: Users and Losers

2. Nobody likes a bleeding heart

3. Money can't buy you happiness, but at least you can choose your misery

4. The whole world is singing the same song, "Hooray for me! Fuck you."

5. When in doubt, move a pawn.

6. There are 3 types of people in this world: Those who think and those who calculate.


Okay, Cleanse your palate. Another set of questions:
What are your thoughts:

1. Trust everyone and the world will destroy you. Trust no one and you'll save them the trouble.

2. There are 2 types of people in the world: Users and Losers and then there are those superior. 

3. Never make eye contact whilst eating a banana 

4. Money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you a chair to be unhappy on.

No statement, Just question:

Is there a difference between a bleeding heart and an open heart? If so, what is it?


----------



## android654

countrygirl90 said:


> 1.its a old saying that the path to a man's heart goes through his stomach while modern saying is *Ahem* below the the stomach ,which one is true .


The second one is true.



> 2.What actually a man seeks out of a long lasting relationship apart from sex.


Understanding.



> 3.What is the thing you dislike about women physically and emotionally.


I wouldn't call it a dislike, but I'm not a fan of big breasts. I simply don't find them as attractive as a more humble looking chest. Emotionally? I suppose the stereotypical thing would be being too vulnerable to the opinions of others. I think people benefit a great deal from leaning to only care what people think when the person matters.


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> The second one is true. :shocked: What! The way to a mans heart is through his penis! OMG!
> 
> Understanding. I like.
> 
> I wouldn't call it a dislike, but I'm not a fan of big breasts. I simply don't find them as attractive as a more humble looking chest. Emotionally? I suppose the stereotypical thing would be being too vulnerable to the opinions of others. I think people benefit a great deal from leaning to only care what people think when the person matters.


 Is it possible to not care what other people think but still be vulnerable? Are men vulnerable in a way? Is it even possible for anyone to exist without the element of vulnerability(at all, ever)?


----------



## Meirsho

countrygirl90 said:


> 1.its a old saying that the path to a man's heart goes through his stomach while modern saying is *Ahem* below the the stomach ,which one is true .
> 2.What actually a man seeks out of a long lasting relationship apart from sex.
> 3.What is the thing you dislike about women physically and emotionally.


1.both are true to a certain messure.non should be taken to seirusly.
2.enjoy himeself,do good,live life,and accomplish his goals.
3.nope...not going to answer^^ it's not a question that deserves an answer 


Ningsta Kitty, the 10 statments you gave were ALL catchy dumb statments that have a VERY simple meaning and they shouldn't be taken into account in any way at all.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Is it possible to not care what other people think but still be vulnerable? Are men vulnerable in a way? Is it even possible for anyone to exist without the element of vulnerability(at all, ever)?


maybe you're trying to hard to ask questions or maybe it's simply what it is but your questions i think were once better..sry girl ;(


----------



## wiarumas

countrygirl90 said:


> 1.its a old saying that the path to a man's heart goes through his stomach while modern saying is *Ahem* below the the stomach ,which one is true .
> 
> *Both are true to some degree. I wouldn't say they are the path to his heart, but generally speaking sex and/or food is always appreciated. I've never been disappointed by either as they are 2 things near the top of my priorities haha.*
> 
> 2.What actually a man seeks out of a long lasting relationship apart from sex.
> 
> *For me, companionship. Shared life goals. Financial gain to a lesser extent.*
> 
> 3.What is the thing you dislike about women physically and emotionally.
> 
> *Physically, nothing. Emotionally, possibly their need to vent and just have a person listen. I'm the type to give advice. I sometimes don't understand why I have to sit there and go "uh huh, yeah, okay," and not offer anything useful back? It isn't solving anything. And isn't solving things at the root the best way to feel better about it?*


In quote


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Is it possible to not care what other people think but still be vulnerable? Are men vulnerable in a way?


I'm not sure if it is. If something affects you enough to shift your mood, it has to be because you either care about what has been said or who said it. 



> Is it even possible for anyone to exist without the element of vulnerability(at all, ever)?


I think it's impossible to completely remove that from your mind. Still, it doesn't mean people shouldn't try.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> what do you think of the following (cumbersome) statements: These are pretty negative sounding statements. Putting whatever your feeling might be of them aside, what do you think about them ?
> 
> 1. There are 2 kinds of people in this world: Users and Losers




I actually think that's pretty honest for the bulk of society. A lot of people spend their lives bargaining for the things they want and as a result they are either on the winning or losing end of the deal, but make no mistake someone is either winning or losing. The only way to avoid that is to not engage with people at all, which I think makes you the ultimate loser in the long run.



> 2. Nobody likes a bleeding heart


Do you ever wonder why we find it so commendable whenever someone does something selfless or caring? It's because it's rare. The reason why people don't care about a bleeding heart is because people don't care.



> 3. Money can't buy you happiness, but at least you can choose your misery


People spend their lives blindly chasing their material wants to the point of their undoing.



> 1. Trust everyone and the world will destroy you. Trust no one and you'll save them the trouble.


A lot of people are comfortable with the idea of using others for the things they want, with little concern for how it affects the other person. Adding more people to your circle of trust opens up the probability of it happening more often.



> 3. Never make eye contact whilst eating a banana




Because I might get the wrong idea...



> Is there a difference between a bleeding heart and an open heart? If so, what is it?


A bleeding heart cares because it doesn't know how else to be. An open heart is open because it doesn't want to know what it is.


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> what do you think of the following (cumbersome) statements: These are pretty negative sounding statements. Putting whatever your feeling might be of them aside, what do you think about them ?
> 
> 1. There are 2 kinds of people in this world: Users and Losers
> 
> *False. There many different types of people in the world.*
> 
> 2. Nobody likes a bleeding heart
> 
> *False. If you can dream it, somebody out there probably likes it.*
> 
> 3. Money can't buy you happiness, but at least you can choose your misery
> 
> *False. First of all, money alleviates a lot of unhappiness/stress and common problems. Secondly, people are always free to choose what makes them miserable - money has nothing to do with it. Its a state of mind that you have control over.*
> 
> 4. The whole world is singing the same song, "Hooray for me! Fuck you."
> 
> *False. Its a pretty shallow and pessimistic view of the world and there are so many perspectives, you can't put them all into one short song. I believe what it is touching on is that greed and competitiveness is at the root of human nature, which is true to a degree.*
> 
> 5. When in doubt, move a pawn.
> 
> *When in doubt, you should not move anything haphazardly without analyzing the cost and benefits of all your actions.*
> 
> 6. There are 3 types of people in this world: Those who think and those who calculate.
> 
> *Again, unfair to put people into 2 categories. People are quite capable of thinking and calculating or neither thinking nor calculating, therefore the statement is false.*
> 
> 
> 
> Okay, Cleanse your palate. Another set of questions:
> What are your thoughts:
> 
> 1. Trust everyone and the world will destroy you. Trust no one and you'll save them the trouble.
> 
> *Some truth to a degree, I think. If I'm reading it right. But those aren't your only 2 options. Trust is on a case by case basis. One philosophy towards everyone is idiotic. If you trust everyone, one conversation with a salesman will leave you penniless; never trusting anyone will also be self destructive as you will be exiled from any type of human interaction. You are supposed to use reason, not a single universal policy. The statement is omitting option 3 of not being an idiot.*
> 
> 2. There are 2 types of people in the world: Users and Losers and then there are those superior.
> 
> *Its nonsensical to the point that it can't be analyzed.*
> 
> 3. Never make eye contact whilst eating a banana
> 
> *You should always make eye contact while eating a banana.*
> 
> 4. Money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you a chair to be unhappy on.
> 
> *False. Money alleviates a lot of common problems that stress people out - but it doesn't guarantee happiness (nor does it make one unhappy). Its about setting expectations, goals, and having perspective on what you have and don't have in life... some of which cannot be attained by money. If you chase unending, material dreams, you will not find happiness at the end of it.*
> 
> No statement, Just question:
> 
> Is there a difference between a bleeding heart and an open heart? If so, what is it?
> 
> *Honestly, I don't know what either is. Sounds like an open heart is preferred though. Bleeding sounds pessimistic and prefers the agony, open sounds optimistic and hopeful. Since the person is in control of their heart, bleeding heart sounds self inflicted and probably will be self destructive; open heart may or may not find what they are looking for. But at least it tries, and trying can get you places.*


in quote


----------



## petite libellule

Meirsho said:


> maybe you're trying to hard to ask questions or maybe it's simply what it is but your questions i think were once better..sry girl ;(


 I didn't realize my questions were here for you.


----------



## Meirsho

Ningsta Kitty said:


> I didn't realize my questions were here for you.


i enjoyed your questions in the past but these i simply didn't think were any good..happins..no need to get offended, and as you say,i'm not the only man here and some guys did/will answer


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Is it possible to not care what other people think but still be vulnerable? Are men vulnerable in a way? Is it even possible for anyone to exist without the element of vulnerability(at all, ever)?


Yes, vulnerabilities can manifest in many ways. They reside within the self. Some people are conscious of others, and weighted towards the opinions of others, and some are not.

Yes, men can be vulnerable.

Yes, it is possible to have no vulnerabilities or to minimize vulnerabilities. Again, they exist within the self, so you have power to dictate what your weaknesses are to a degree.


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> I'm not sure if it is. If something affects you enough to shift your mood, it has to be because you either care about what has been said or who said it.
> 
> What would be your semantic definition of vulnerability?
> More specifically if an outside were listening in on this and asked, "what's that?" -
> how would you explain what vulnerability IS ?
> 
> I actually think that's pretty honest for the bulk of society. A lot of people spend their lives bargaining for the things they want and as a result they are either on the winning or losing end of the deal, but make no mistake someone is either winning or losing. The only way to avoid that is to not engage with people at all, which I think makes you the ultimate loser in the long run. Agreed
> 
> Do you ever wonder why we find it so commendable whenever someone does something selfless or caring? It's because it's rare. The reason why people don't care about a bleeding heart is because people don't care. That's sad.
> 
> People spend their lives blindly chasing their material wants to the point of their undoing.
> I couldn't have said that last statement better myself
> 
> A lot of people are comfortable with the idea of using others for the things they want, with little concern for how it affects the other person. Adding more people to your circle of trust opens up the probability of it happening more often. True.
> 
> Because I might get the wrong idea... :tongue:
> 
> A bleeding heart cares because it doesn't know how else to be. An open heart is open because it doesn't want to know what it is.


 Your definition of an open heart is intriguing. Can you elaborate? 

As always, It's a pleasure to pick your brain


----------



## nevermore

countrygirl90 said:


> 1.its a old saying that the path to a man's heart goes through his stomach while modern saying is *Ahem* below the the stomach ,which one is true .


Neither. The way to a man's heart is through his ego. (This sounds negative, but it doesn't have to be. A lot of men desire to have their competence validated. To feel they are talented and have/could make a meaningful difference to the world. Maybe it's me speaking as a type 3 though...)



> 2.What actually a man seeks out of a long lasting relationship apart from sex.


Someone to share emotionally with. Someone who will give unconditional (except when it's the duty of someone who cares to step in the way) support for me, and my ambitions and dreams. And of course the attachment, intimacy, and companionship intense romantic relationships tend to provide.



> 3.What is the thing you dislike about women physically and emotionally.


Physically? This sounds horrible, but _visually_ I'm not a fan of vaginas. I may be very strange in this way, but I sort of have an aversion to genitals (male ones too, when semen is coming out of them. Perhaps it's the fluids). Same with nipples that are too big on breasts. Don't get me wrong, I love the way a vagina _feels_, and I _love_ boobs (what guy doesn't?), but nipples that are too big are odd to me.

Emotionally, the tendency to be passive aggressive (though a lot of men are like this too), pretending to "feel bad" about something they are doing when they don't (in my experience, women say "I feel bad" a lot when it is obvious they are insincere), and crying to get someone's way (a lot of women admit to this and it would be an odious trait in anyone, male or female).

Again, if it's any consolation, there's a lot more I dislike emotionally about men. And I don't pretend I don't have a long list of character flaws either. (Besides, not all women are this way or even most necessarily, these are just my observations based on my own experience, which is all I can offer) I'm mostly saying there are things that bother me that I've seen more in one group than another, that's all. Doesn't mean I can't love someone anyway.


----------



## petite libellule

Meirsho said:


> i enjoyed your questions in the past but these i simply didn't think were any good..happins..no need to get offended, and as you say,i'm not the only man here and some guys did/will answer


LOL! Oh I'm not offended. I just found it humorous that you shared! lol!

I know I'm entertaining but I promise you, that is just who I am. Not that I'm here to entertain you. I hope that doesn't sound rude. Trust me, there is a part of me that wishes I was more bland toast.
I can be "a little much" for even ME sometimes! :shocked::tongue:

no harm, no foul. I'm not upset at all.


----------



## android654

> What would be your semantic definition of vulnerability?
> More specifically if an outside were listening i]n on this and asked, "what's that?" -
> how would you explain what vulnerability IS ?


Vulnerability is the state in which you are influenced by things said by people you don't know well or even particularly like.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Your definition of an open heart is intriguing. Can you elaborate?




Well, as I see it a person with an open heart is someone who's yearning for connection and understanding. They're willing to pour their heart out to anyone willing to listen because they honestly believe that they are alone, or at the very least misunderstood, and the hope that they might find someone who cares is enough of an incentive to lead them to present themselves nakedly to the world.




> As always, It's a pleasure to pick your brain


You and your flattery.


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> Well, as I see it a person with an open heart is someone who's yearning for connection and understanding. They're willing to pour their heart out to anyone willing to listen because they honestly believe that they are alone, or at the very least misunderstood, and the hope that they might find someone who cares is enough to incentive to lead them to present themselves nakedly to the world.
> 
> *Then how would you then articulate what a bleeding heart is ?
> *
> You and your flattery.


ever hear the phrase you catch more bees with honey?  Lol! 

Honestly though, as my questions are not here for you, neither is my flattery. 
It feels good to tell people how I feel. 
This can most definitely be a double edge sword  LOL!!! :tongue: Oh silly Fe


----------



## petite libellule

*Questions for the weekend:*
_as I'm off to travel the safari in my purple socks and a mosquito net 
_
Fitz Perls recommended people to _lose their minds and come to their senses. 

_What do you make of that statement ?

Do you think you are your mind ?

* I think FP essentially is saying, unless you pay attention to the world around you, your body(breathing), the other beings beyond you, the time(ing)and other worldy busyness stuff about you - unless you do this, you can't really step out of your mind of "how things are" and really analyze anything. * 

What do you think? agree? disagree? kinda sorta but not really? 

abstractions from past experiences mistaken for experience in the now.
How often (how many) people suffer(have) this way of being, do you think. ? 

What do you think(analyze if you will) the following quote:

" children guessed (but only a few) and down they forgot as up they grew ... "
- e.e. cummings


----------



## HonestAndTrue

Hello. I wouldn't say under all conditions I qualify as a man but, *reaches down*, I do qualify under some conditions. So let's give this a shot.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> what do you think of the following (cumbersome) statements: These are pretty negative sounding statements. Putting whatever your feeling might be of them aside, what do you think about them ?
> 
> Putting feeling aside, what do you think? I don't know exactly what that means, but I want to answer.
> 
> 1. There are 2 kinds of people in this world: Users and Losers
> 
> Seems true enough. Put another way, takers and givers. (Feelings deleted)
> 
> 2. Nobody likes a bleeding heart
> 
> True. Everyone wants solutions.
> 
> 3. Money can't buy you happiness, but at least you can choose your misery
> 
> False. Money can buy a certain degree of happiness. Food and shelter. The physical company of a woman for one night. But the limits to happiness that money can buy, though fairly low, if you are without money, you'd welcome this degree of happiness.
> 
> 4. The whole world is singing the same song, "Hooray for me! Fuck you."
> 
> Seems true enough. Along with #1 above, the world seems mostly Users.Gives purpose to the Losers.
> 
> 5. When in doubt, move a pawn.
> 
> Horrible advice. Sometimes it's better to move and lose the queen than a pawn. Moving the wrong pawn and lose you the game, lose you your job, house, wife, life. All of those little things matter more over time than some of those big things matter in the moment.
> 
> 6. There are 3 types of people in this world: Those who think and those who calculate. And Ninjas.
> 
> True. People never see the ninjas. :ninja:
> 
> Okay, Cleanse your palate. Another set of questions:
> 
> Perhaps with a mojito sorbet?
> 
> What are your thoughts:
> 
> 1. Trust everyone and the world will destroy you. Trust no one and you'll save them the trouble.
> 
> True. If you play the game you will eventually lose. If you don't play the game you will never win.
> 
> 2. There are 2 types of people in the world: Users and Losers and then there are those superior.
> 
> Ha. Those who think they are superior are the biggest users of them all. And the best, most evil, of them pretend to be losers.
> 
> 3. Never make eye contact whilst eating a banana
> 
> Depends who is eating. While men shouldn't while eating a banana, I will intently watch a woman eat a banana.
> 
> 4. Money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you a chair to be unhappy on.
> 
> Which means money did buy you happiness that you have a chair, most likely in a house, most likely with some kind of climate control, most likely with walls and a ceiling to protect you from wind and rain, cold and heat. From darkness. But if you aren't happy there are billions who will gladly trade places with you and be happy on the chair.
> 
> No statement, Just question:
> 
> Is there a difference between a bleeding heart and an open heart? If so, what is it?



A bleeding heart doesn't want a solution. An open heart wants a solution. A bleeding heart that is open, the openness will seek a means to stop the bleeding. While a bleeding heart wants to continue bleeding.

Wow, answering questions isn't easy.


----------



## petite libellule

HonestAndTrue said:


> Wow, answering questions isn't easy.


but your answers made me so happy!


----------



## carlaviii

Hypothetical oral sex question: Let's say you're getting a nice blowjob -- but you look down and realize it's the "wrong" gender of person (whichever gender is not your preference.) Assuming that gender is the only thing "wrong" with this person -- thoughts? Would you continue? Finish?


----------



## android654

carlaviii said:


> Hypothetical oral sex question: Let's say you're getting a nice blowjob -- but you look down and realize it's the "wrong" gender of person (whichever gender is not your preference.) Assuming that gender is the only thing "wrong" with this person -- thoughts? Would you continue? Finish?


First of all, what the fuck was going on that I couldn't tell the difference? I'd definitely freak out and leave the room or area. Then I'd go into a deep denial about what happened and forget it in a day or so.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> *Then how would you then articulate what a bleeding heart is ?*


A bleeding heart is the kind of person who feels the need to be apart of the world in a meaningful way, whether that's actually fixing some social ill or building something new. The only problem is they seem to be more ambitious than they can manage, usually leaving their efforts unrealized and spirals them into a sense of fulfillment. Potential to do an immense amount of good but lacking the aptitude to realize them.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

@_countrygirl90_
* *







countrygirl90 said:


> 1.its a old saying that the path to a man's heart goes through his stomach while modern saying is *Ahem* below the the stomach ,which one is true .
> 2.What actually a man seeks out of a long lasting relationship apart from sex.
> 3.What is the thing you dislike about women physically and emotionally.


1) Neither ... If you want a man's heart, you have to go out and "touch" his heart ... there is no way around that.
Food and sex may get you noticed and may make the guy interested in you, which is always a nice start, but it won't give you his heart ... And, if you don't communicate with him and tell that you want a romantic relationship with him, he may confuse your gestures as being friends with "benefits" (the benefits could be food, sex, or both) ... If I were to choose one of those, I would say, go with the food. If it turns out that he is not interested in you it is less emotional, less messy, and you can treat meals like a date and just talk to each other and get to know each other (I don't think it is a good idea to be friends with sexual benefits with someone if you actually want a lot more than that ... that is just my opinion though). Just like not all women are the same, not all men are the same either ... and there is not one thing that you can do that will make all men in love with you

2) ... Hey, who said ALL men want to have sex lol (if nothing else, there are asexual men out there so :tongue: lol) ... I'm just teasing you lol. ... 
I am remembering a line from a song I heard a lot in my childhood "Some of them want to abuse you, some of them want to be abused by you" ... now not everyone falls in that spectrum (I would imagine that most don't), but I will use it to point out that people are weird :crazy: .. "Everybody is looking for something"
Now, I can't tell you what other men are looking for, I can only say what I am looking for ... and I will say that not all men (and not all women) are looking for a long term relationship
Now, as for myself, I would like someone that I could share my life with, someone who I could work well with, and someone who will accept my love and affection and someone who will have love and affection for me. I want a partner who will connect with me deeply on an emotional level ... and yes, I want sex (or at least some form of sexual pleasure) too lol. Most of all, I want someone who I would love to create memories with and someone that I love who will also love me in return.

3) Well, as I said before, all women are different, so I can not say what I don't like about them emotionally unless you give me much more specifics (like a specific person ) ... As far as physically, well ... I really like women's bodies, so there are no complaints here :kitteh: ... well except for the women who have long hair and if they put their hair in my face (maybe from cuddling), and it is all over and gets in my mouth, I suppose that is slightly annoying lol


 @_Ningsta Kitty_

* *







Ningsta Kitty said:


> what do you think of the following (cumbersome) statements: These are pretty negative sounding statements. Putting whatever your feeling might be of them aside, what do you think about them ? [/QUOTE]
> Sorry, but my thoughts and feeling can be somewhat separated, they can't be completely separated and my thoughts influence my feelings and my feelings influence my thoughts ... so :tongue: lol
> 
> *1. There are 2 kinds of people in this world: Users and Losers*
> Depending on how you define "user" I may say that we all use each other (it is not like we are surviving without this society we created lol) ... But there is not always a "loser" ... sometimes it is a win-win or a symbiosis ... I think most people both give and receive ... and some people like to give, even if they think the person might be using them. ... The world isn't so black and white and I don't think people are that black and white ... I would say that this statement is a very superficial way to look at the world and at people, because, even if people use us, there are some things they can never take away from us (unless we let them), such as our happiness and self-respect. ... And I would think the only "loser" is the person that looks at themselves and sees a loser (although, they are not really losers, just they give themselves that title and, I would think, such a title only hurts if you believe you deserve such a title) ... Well, perhaps the people who call other people losers to feel better about themselves seem to have some flimsy self-respect as well.
> 
> If someone said this to me, I would probably think they were either hurting or justifying their behavior.
> 
> *2. Nobody likes a bleeding heart*
> As people? As a friend?
> *uses Google to double check meaning*
> Claim: Statement 2 is false
> Proof: By counter example
> I like bleeding hearts
> Therefore at least one person likes them Q.E.D. :tongue:
> 
> I imagine bleeding hearts like themselves as well :tongue:
> 
> Just to make sure we are on the same page, a bleeding heart is someone who cares about everything, spreads themselves too thin, actively tries to make things better, and can be annoyingly pushy of their values?
> 
> I would think that more than likely they are a bit naive (although, if they have been a bleeding heart long enough, they might be proving me wrong   ) and annoying (might get into some fights, but I don't mind playing alone somewhat if it is for causes that someone close to me really cares about and those causes don't go against my value system), but, in all honesty, they seem to have big hearts .... I would think that more than likely, life will change them and they will be setting themselves up for a lot of pain, but I have no real desire to change people like that (except momentarily when I am annoyed lol). ... I respect people with big hearts too much to try to change them ... I would rather shoulder some of the pain with them while encouraging them to keep having a bit heart ... The pain will, hopefully, make them wiser and help them to more effectively (and less annoyingly lol) channel that love ... but any pain I would help them shoulder would be nothing, I mean, afterall, love is contagious ^__^ ... well, okay, it would be something, but it would be worth it ^__^
> So, I do like bleeding hearts ^__^
> 
> *3. Money can't buy you happiness, but at least you can choose your misery*
> Taken literally, as long as you have enough money to take care of your basic needs this seems pretty true ... Money can only give us empty "Happiness" (possible exceptions would be using money to help others)
> But, who says you need money to be happy ... You may not feel happy all the time, but you can find ways to make yourself happy (or at least content) most of the time ^__^
> 
> *4. The whole world is singing the same song, "Hooray for me! Fuck you."*
> It is ... Oooo sounds like a fun song lmao ... Can you teach me the words
> I'm sure Mother Teresa sung that song while she was alive too :tongue:
> I bet every parent sings that to their kids as a bedtime story too :tongue:
> 
> Okay, I'll stop being sarcastic (but I thought I was being funny ) ... I think we all, or perhaps most of us, will sing this some from time to time, but we are multidimensional beings ... One minute we maybe singing this song to someone who we are mad at and the next we maybe giving up something for someone else (because our *heart* is *bleeding* for them )
> 
> Don't get me wrong, if you feel like you are being pushed into a corner, sometimes it is good to *temporarily *say to the world "Fuck You"
> 
> *5. When in doubt, move a pawn.*
> Now this is a statement about advice, you can't tell me to put my feeling aside when it comes to a statement about values lol
> Anyway, it depends on what you mean by "pawn" ... In chess, a pawn is the piece with the "least value" and is considered sacrificial. .. If you are saying that if I am not sure if that is mold on my food that I should just throw it out, then I will agree with you. It is better to was food, than hurt my health.
> If by "pawn" you mean a person, I believe that is called being a genitalia lol ... and I highly disagree with it if that is the case
> That being said, the world is full of doubt and we have to have some level of "acceptable doubt" or acceptable risk (mathematical risk is the likelihood we are wrong multiplied by the value of what we are risking if we are wrong)
> 
> *6. There are 3 types of people in this world: Those who think and those who calculate.*
> Wait ... is it me or do I only see two types here lol (Clearly, whomever said this is a thinker and not a calculator lol   )
> There are 10 types of people in this world: those that know binary and those that don't :tongue:
> 
> Again, this is, on one level, too black and white as we all think and calculate ... and two "think" is not well defined here lol ... I'll pretend it has to do with creativity ... That being said, depending on the calculation, the person can be very creative when trying to solve a solution. ... Everything has bounds ... even artists have bounds (for instance, you can't paint with a color that isn't made into a paint, you only have so many paint brushes and tools, ....) ... We are all bounded ... If you go into more abstract mathematics, you can deal with entities that don't seem to have any application to the real world (remember: mathematics does not exist in the real world ... "God created the integers all the rest is the work of man" - Leopold Kronecker) ... So even calculations can contain a lot of "thought". ... Heck, the fact that we communicate seems to show that we think on some level lol, but as far as creativity, lots of people think of concepts that no one thought about.
> 
> In all honestly, it sounds like a quote that was said by someone that is either bad at math, or has only seen basic arithmetic (and maybe basic applied calculus) ... to be fair, that probably is most of the population ... People are not robots, just because someone likes to calculate a lot does not mean they don't think ... and since we are not robots that can do lots of simple math really fast (most complex applied math solved by computers are really just approximations of simpler math using "Numerical techniques" as it is really hard to make a computer be able to do abstract math), humans have to be creative and find ways to take something that may take 100 steps (let's say) and do it in only (lets say) 5 steps.
> 
> *Okay, Cleanse your palate. Another set of questions:
> What are your thoughts:*
> 
> *1. Trust everyone and the world will destroy you. Trust no one and you'll save them the trouble.*
> To an extent it seems true ... Although I would change the first trust to "completely trust" ... I think there are levels of trust ... and, with strangers, I try not to trust beyond what I can expect to reasonably lose if they are untrustworthy ... Of course, anyone could try to kill me so you can't take what I said completely literally ... To an extend, but buying food at the grocery store means I have to trust a lot of people ... Do I really know where that food has been? lmao
> But, for the most part, I do agree with that statement ... Balance is important ... and if you can't trust anyone (always trying to double check things), what kind of lonely, stressful life is that?
> 
> *2. There are 2 types of people in the world: Users and Losers and then there are those superior. *
> I think it is bad at math  ... See what I said above about losers and users ... and very rarely will I say someone is superior to someone else ... For them most part, I think, even though we have many similarities, we are different enough where you can't really say one person is better than someone else. We all have different experiences and different values and depending on how you measure someone (if the qualities you are looking at are measurable and constant enough), who is superior or not may change. ... I like to think of it more as comparing apples and oranges.
> 
> *3. Never make eye contact whilst eating a banana *
> Ningsta, I would love to make eye contact with you while one of us is eating a banana :tongue: ... No using teeth though XD //jk :tongue
> 
> *4. Money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you a chair to be unhappy on.*
> I suppose that is true ... although, if you have enough money, you could pay for a random strangers dinner and see them smile or do what this lady does
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Well, she almost made a new friend there lol
> Money, can buy you happiness, but you can use your money towards the things you really value most
> 
> *No statement, Just question:
> 
> Is there a difference between a bleeding heart and an open heart? If so, what is it?*
> Probably XD
> I would say an open heart is more accepting of other's values and understands that everyone ha their own struggles better and an open heart may be less proactive ... idk lol








Ningsta Kitty said:


> @_Ningsta Kitty_ Again
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ningsta Kitty said:
> 
> 
> 
> Is it possible to not care what other people think but still be vulnerable? Are men vulnerable in a way? Is it even possible for anyone to exist without the element of vulnerability(at all, ever)?
> 
> 
> 
> 1) Depends how literally you take it ... I can like me for me and therefor I don't care what other people think of me ... But if someone I care for deeply (an SO) rejects me, I will feel hurt ... Not because I would see myself differently, but because I would wonder how much that other person cares about me.
> Of course, there could be something I don't like about myself that really bothers me and someone could point to it and make a comment, reaffirming that I am _____ when I really don't want to be _______
> 
> But taken literally, if people can't hurt you, then you are not vulnerable
> 2) Yes ... even in the stereotypical male, I bet he is a lot more similar to the stereotypical female than people realize when it comes to vulnerability
> 3) I don't think it is possible
> 
> 
> @carlaviii
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> carlaviii said:
> 
> 
> 
> Hypothetical oral sex question: Let's say you're getting a nice blowjob -- but you look down and realize it's the "wrong" gender of person (whichever gender is not your preference.) Assuming that gender is the only thing "wrong" with this person -- thoughts? Would you continue? Finish?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Was I drunk beforehand XD
> 
> In all honesty, I don't know ... I would probably be questioning my senses for a bit while I was in shock ... The other question would be whether or not I could cum while I was in shock? (idk) And how close was I before cumming? (If he is good enough, I might let him finish :tongue: ... idk lol)
> 
> I can definitely say that if he is not good enough, we would not finish lol ... Knowing it was a guy would probably weird me out lol
> 
> 
> 
> @_Ningsta Kitty_, I know you have another set of questions, but, if I remember, I'll try to get to them later ... I feel like I typed too much as it is to to have any deep thoughts right now lol ... Also, I'm feeling lazy :tongue:
Click to expand...


----------



## phony

Do you take naps in the afternoon?


----------



## countrygirl90

1.Why do some men find it arousing seeing their wife or lover cheating on them or sleeping with other man ?
2. How would you define yourself as man?
3. Idea or philosophy of romance from man,s perspective ?


----------



## android654

Enfpleasantly said:


> What comes to mind when you see this picture?


Accomplishment. 

And it makes me think of that song.








> Is there anything specific that makes you feel overwhelmed? If so, would you be willing to share what it is?


I don't know if there actually is anything that overwhelms me on an emotional or psychological level, which is what I guess you were getting at. I'm sure there is but I don't come into contact with it often enough for me to recall.



> If you were walking through a garden center and noticed a pair of garden gnomes placed in a sexual position, what kind of person/s would you imagine set them up like that?


Someone like me, or one of my friends, or my sister.



> Are you afraid of the dentist?


I'm very meticulous with my dental hygiene, which is coincidentally the result of being afraid of the dentist as a child.



> Do you go to Taco Bell with friends late at night after you've been drinking? (there's a designated driver).


The last time I was drunk enough to need shitty food we went to Taco Bell. There's something about feeling horrible and needing to add to that horror actually gives Taco Bell a reason to exist.



> What do you think of those shoes that look like feet with the individual toes? I don't know what they're actually called.


It's a fad and they'll be gone eventually just like Uggs.



> What song would be your theme song?







Or






Or






I could go on and on.


----------



## wiarumas

HonestAndTrue said:


> Ten questions or one question.
> 
> How do you approach a woman?
> 
> *like a normal person. Confidence, a hello, a smile goes a long way. *
> 
> How do you start a conversation?
> 
> *with a hi. Then I usually ask their name, introduce myself, etc. sometimes I front load a compliment but most of the time I don't want to come off too strong or girls get that creepy guy vibe. *
> 
> How do you keep the conversation going?
> 
> *ask questions. *
> 
> How do you know what topics to bring up?
> 
> *i don't really. I just talk. Almost like an interview style i ask a lot of personal questions about who they are and their interests. Typically things pop up and you just talk about that. "Oh you went to school at X, how was that?" Etc*
> 
> How do you know when to switch topics?
> 
> *i don't. I ask things as they come up with them or when things run to an end. *
> 
> Do you ask questions, tell stories, or do something else?
> 
> *both. Ask as many questions as possible, tell stories when appropriate. *
> 
> How do you know if the conversation is going good or bad?
> 
> *body language. Turning away, attention elsewhere, being short with replies suggest not interested. Eye contact, smiles, genuine answers and questions say things are going well. *
> 
> How do you know when to get ready to end the conversation?
> 
> *when things need to end or leave on a high note. *
> 
> How do you end the conversation?
> 
> *it was nice meeting you, insert name. I hope to see you again. *
> 
> How do you leave?
> 
> *like a normal person. *
> 
> Thanks much.


In quote


----------



## hela

Why do guys measure their dicks? Do you use a ruler or measuring tape? When did you first measure it, if you have? Did you measure length and girth, or just length?


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> What comes to mind when you see this picture?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *other than noticing the girls hair and highlights and guess at body tpe under the clothing? The snowboard, location, wonder what mountains they are, Top or bottom of hill in contrast to the height of the other mountains, is she enjoying an expression at the top of the mountain or after she went down, noticing tree line, cloud level, etc. *
> 
> Is there anything specific that makes you feel overwhelmed? If so, would you be willing to share what it is?
> 
> *lack of control over bad or unknown things. Like health issues or employment struggles for me or that of my wife. *
> 
> If you were walking through a garden center and noticed a pair of garden gnomes placed in a sexual position, what kind of person/s would you imagine set them up like that?
> 
> *one with a sense of humor and too much time on their hands haha. *
> 
> Are you afraid of the dentist?
> 
> *no. Nothing to be afraid of. *
> 
> Do you go to Taco Bell with friends late at night after you've been drinking? (there's a designated driver).
> 
> *god, no. That's too far. We would get pizza or wings. Occasionally a sit down diner. *
> 
> What do you think of those shoes that look like feet with the individual toes? I don't know what they're actually called.
> 
> *i saw them before. For working out, fine. Wearing them casually looks a bit ridiculous. *
> 
> What song would be your theme song?
> 
> *Already asked! I answered Hendrix - voodoo child and zz top - sharp dressed man. *
> 
> Jimi Hendrix - Voodoo Child - YouTube


In quote


----------



## wiarumas

hela said:


> Why do guys measure their dicks? Do you use a ruler or measuring tape? When did you first measure it, if you have? Did you measure length and girth, or just length?


Well, you have to understand our dicks aren't always as big as an adults. It kicks in around puberty. So naturally if our dick is growing and women and society seem to like to talk about large ones so much, its only natural that men are checking out progress with a ruler seeing how they match up against their peers. I think it's common for teenage boys to measure but at some point they pretty much have an idea if they are big, small, etc and come to terms with it. The insecurity lasts a lifetime as you can tell from commercials and junk mail and whatnot, but its not growing anymore so they aren't exactly pulling out a ruler in their 30s yanno. 

At first i think a ruler is used to measure length and as they catch on to what girls really want, possibly measuring tape or the string method (which you measure with a ruler after) checking girth or both.


----------



## 7rr7s

countrygirl90 said:


> 1.its a old saying that the path to a man's heart goes through his stomach while modern saying is *Ahem* below the the stomach ,which one is true .
> 
> *Kind of depends on the mood. Hungry, or horny? Sometimes it would be nice to have a blowjob, sometimes it would be nice to have a burger. Now a blowjob, while eating a burger...*
> 
> 2.What actually a man seeks out of a long lasting relationship apart from sex.
> 
> *If I am in a relationship with a woman it's because I like who she is as a person. Sex is easy, you can pay for sex if you really want to, but it's more than sex. Connection on a deeper level I guess would be the answer. Sure you can connect with your friends or your family or your coworkers, but it's different with a lover. There's something special about it that you can't find anywhere else. That feeling when I get, that vigor and inspiration and all that, when I am wild about a woman, that's what I'm looking for in a long term relationship.*
> 
> 3.What is the thing you dislike about women physically and emotionally.


Physically: Pony tails, and buns. No real reason, I just don't like them. Emotionally: passive aggressiveness, but I hate that in men too.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> what do you think of the following (cumbersome) statements: These are pretty negative sounding statements. Putting whatever your feeling might be of them aside, what do you think about them ?
> 
> 1. There are 2 kinds of people in this world: Users and Losers
> *
> True, everybody uses people. They don't even realize it half the time, and most of the time it's innocent, but some people will use others in a malicious way. And you're only a loser if you allow yourself to think you are one. You're the only one who can define you, and if you think you are a loser, that's your deal, but you should work on it.*
> 
> 2. Nobody likes a bleeding heart
> 
> *The tragedy of the bleeding heart is that often times they don't even realize they're bleeding. They feel sorry and sympathize with everyone and try to help them, but they are the ones they should be helping more often than not. Kind of like putting the oxygen mask on yourself first. You can help people more when you help yourself first.*
> 
> 3. Money can't buy you happiness, but at least you can choose your misery
> 
> *Misery and happiness are both a choice. Unless you are depressed, but even then you have a choice to be positive and expect good things. You always have choice. Money can't buy you misery or happiness, but it can buy you choice. *
> 
> 4. The whole world is singing the same song, "Hooray for me! Fuck you."
> 
> *Well, good on them! Life is apparently going their way, and that's great, we all deserve good things. And the world will always say fuck you. The world will shit on you and try to keep you down, keep you caged, and ruin you if you let it. It's all about realizing this, and overcoming it. *
> 
> 5. When in doubt, move a pawn.
> *
> Checkmate!*
> 
> 6. There are 3 types of people in this world: Those who think and those who calculate.
> 
> *Haha, and those who can't calculate!  *
> 
> 
> Okay, Cleanse your palate. Another set of questions:
> What are your thoughts:
> 
> 1. Trust everyone and the world will destroy you. Trust no one and you'll save them the trouble.
> 
> *Trust no one 100% but yourself. Everyone will let you down in one way or another, **whether they mean to or not. And that's fine, people do that, they are human. You will let them down too. Of course you should trust certain people more, but to trust anyone 100% is asking for a let down. And about destruction, you should destroy yourself many times over. Kill off what isn't working for you. Change, evolve, grow. In the process of that growth, you destroy the old self, the weaker self. Destruction isn't a bad thing. To birth anything is to destroy the nothingness that existed before it. Destroy!*
> 
> 2. There are 2 types of people in the world: Users and Losers and then there are those superior.
> 
> *Sooooo three people then? Either way, it's a choice. *
> 
> 3. Never make eye contact whilst eating a banana
> 
> *I disagree. I think it ought to happen more often. Think of how many more amazing stories you could tell/hear about if this was a common scenario! *
> 
> 4. Money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you a chair to be unhappy on.
> 
> *Money won't make you happy. Chairs or other material things won't make you happy. Even other people won't make you happy forever. Happiness is within you. **You create your own happiness. *
> 
> No statement, Just question:
> 
> Is there a difference between a bleeding heart and an open heart? If so, what is it?


*Yes. A bleeding heart feels bad for others, often times at the expense of themselves. An open heart partakes in the pain of others, but the joys as well. An open heart is more freeing because it is not restricted. *



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Is it possible to not care what other people think but still be vulnerable? Are men vulnerable in a way? Is it even possible for anyone to exist without the element of vulnerability(at all, ever)?


Yes. Everyone is vulnerable, but people hide it. You can never be not vulnerable. The furthest you can come is protecting yourself from pain, or freeing yourself from the vulnerability itself. 



Ningsta Kitty said:


> *Questions for the weekend:*
> _as I'm off to travel the safari in my purple socks and a mosquito net
> _
> Fitz Perls recommended people to _lose their minds and come to their senses.
> 
> _What do you make of that statement ?
> 
> *It's liberating and dangerous. When you let yourself go to that level, you find out your real desires, what you really ache for in life. It can be sc**ary sometimes **and you might not always like what you find. When you can't handle the real truth of things, you can get depressed, delusional,* *maybe even nihilistic. That's what's dangerous about it. But some people go their whole lives without ever really figuring out that question, and that's sad. When you figure it out, you free yourself, and in that sense, it's liberating. *
> 
> Do you think you are your mind ?
> 
> *No. I'll give you an example of this; there's a voice inside every one of us. The voice that says "you can't" or "don't" or "shouldn't." It's the voice that asks "What if I fail? What if it won't work?" That voice exists to keep you safe. It's there to keep you from pain. Physical pain, like don't touch fire. Emotional pain like you shouldn't get involved with this person. Social pain like looking like an idiot infront of people. It has it's time and place, but it holds people back. Take anyone who has made a notable contribution to humanity. Do you think they listened to the voice? Where do you think we would be if they had? The voice is not you, it's just your brain trying to keep you safe, and take you to your death with as little pain as possible. But you have to overcome the voice and recognize it for what it really is. *
> 
> * I think FP essentially is saying, unless you pay attention to the world around you, your body(breathing), the other beings beyond you, the time(ing)and other worldy busyness stuff about you - unless you do this, you can't really step out of your mind of "how things are" and really analyze anything. *
> 
> What do you think? agree? disagree? kinda sorta but not really?
> 
> *
> To think we can fully comprehend the mysteries of time and ourselves, our role in the universe and all that is naive. We can't ever really know how things really are, because we see it through the prism of our own unique experiences. This feeling of not being able to ever understand it, I think is one of the greatest pains and joys of being human. *
> 
> *I'm also reminded of this:
> 
> *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> abstractions from past experiences mistaken for experience in the now.
> How often (how many) people suffer(have) this way of being, do you think. ?
> 
> *Alot, sadly. I know I do.  *
> 
> What do you think(analyze if you will) the following quote:
> 
> " children guessed (but only a few) and down they forgot as up they grew ... "
> - e.e. cummings


I think we lose something when we grow up. Some lose it gradually, but by the time you are a teenager it's pretty much gone. I think alot of people whether they know it or not, spend their whole lives trying to get back what was lost. We can rediscover that part, but it will never be the same as when we first knew it in childhood. We ache for it, but we _remember_ only. This is another one of those painful parts of the human experience.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

First thing that comes to mind when you read these words...

Glitter
Pink
Camel
Makeup
Ice cream
Tip toe
Tongue
Neck
Bite
Happy
Dark
End


*Bonus- create a story using the words I listed.


----------



## Master Mind

hela said:


> Why do guys measure their dicks? Do you use a ruler or measuring tape? When did you first measure it, if you have? Did you measure length and girth, or just length?


I actually had no idea how big I was for the majority of my life. The first time I was measured, my girlfriend at the time did it. One time we were together, she asked me, "How big are you?" I raised an eyebrow and looked at her strangely and replied, "... I.. don't... know... it isn't like I've taken a ruler to it before."  But that just made her more curious, and so she _had_ to find out, so she went looking for a ruler, finally found one and then measured me, and the spot it came to on the ruler met with her pleased approval, thought it wasn't like she ever had a problem with it before she knew the number. Since she already measured the length, I measured the girth on my own out of curiosity, with a piece of string which I then measured with a ruler.


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> First thing that comes to mind when you read these words...
> 
> Glitter - sparkles
> Pink - Victoria secret
> Camel - toe
> Makeup - bag
> Ice cream - sandwich
> Tip toe - ballerina
> Tongue - cow
> Neck - necklace
> Bite - bat
> Happy - birthday
> Dark - knight
> End - story
> 
> 
> *Bonus- create a story using the words I listed.


The stripper piled on the GLITTER as she wore her PINK outfit showing off her CAMEL toe. She put on her MAKEUP recalling how she ate a whole pint of ICE CREAM last night, dwelling over the horrible break up of her exbf. He was a bum, but she felt she didn't deserve much better. 

She walked TIP TOE to the stage in her oversized heels. Not a large crowd tonight. There was a single lonely man in the corner, his face weary and pale. She used her TONGUE seductively towards him as she slid down the pole, instantly winning his interest. She approached him, and put her arms around his NECK. She was too good looking for him and used it to her advantage. However, it seemed he had no interest in taking a BITE of the bait. He sat there expressionless, not seeming to enjoy himself which caused her to be concerned. 

"Its only me and you in here tonight, what's the matter?" She asked. "You don't seem HAPPY?"

For a moment, he didn't say anything. Just stared blankly in her eyes as he took another drink of his cheap bourbon. He finally broke the silence and said, "These are DARK days for both of us. We are the only ones in here. Do we both have to pretend like we are happy?."

The END.


----------



## Conclusion

Answers in bold. I tried to stick as closely to my first associations as possible.



Enfpleasantly said:


> First thing that comes to mind when you read these words...
> 
> Glitter *bomb *(throwing glitter at people in a public event)
> Pink *laser*
> Camel *milk*
> Makeup *brush* (what're they called again?)
> Ice cream *headache*
> Tip toe *bathtub* (I don't understand this one; something about shower curtains?)
> Tongue *condom* (or uh, what do you call it when you cut up a latex glove and use the thumb for tongue protection?)
> Neck *bite*
> Bite *neck* (sue me)
> Happy *days*
> Dark *times*
> End *times*


This... probably tells you a lot about my state of mind when reading S&R doesn't it? Maybe I should reconsider posting this.



Enfpleasantly said:


> *Bonus- create a story using the words I listed.



* *




So yesterday I finally had to do the STS I took for that time I got arrested glitter-bombing Newt Gingrich, and it turns out that while all the other folks got some sort of stint making makeup brushes (what are those called again?) I was given time on a dairy farm (happy days!) so off I went. But man, the guy in charge was the weirdest dude imaginable because he put me in a room with this recalcitrant neck-biting camel and just... handed me a latex glove for one of those uh tongue condoms, and... pointed. What? Is that seriously a thing you have to do to camels? After awhile dude stopped answering my questions so christ I just had to rim that camel. (Oh well it's nice to be good at things.) And I guess it worked or uh cured the recalcitrance or whatever because we wound up with a bathtub full of camel milk for this weird ice cream he wanted to make -- like some weird camel dairy bathtub moonshine outfit holy shit -- "traditional recipe something something," yeah I stopped listening at that point 'cuz WTF camel anus, dark times. But shortly thereafter while trying to fix some tubing on tip-toes I slipped on spilt milk and hit my head and OH MY GOD Y'ALL WON'T BELIEVE THIS BUT I MET PINK LASER JESUS IN HIS RAINBOW ROBES ON THIS ROLLERCOASTER WITHIN A BIGGER ROLLERCOASTER IN THE SKY OVER INDONESIA AND HE TOLD ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE END TIMES WHICH ARE THE FIFTH TUESDAY OF EVERY MONTH FROM HERE ON OUT and then I woke up in my office with a splitting headache and the first thing I did was to sit down and tell y'all on the uh S&R forum and wait how does that make any sense? Well I do have that headache. Hang on there's where I slipped. Maybe I only hit my head on that filing cabinet? I didn't actually glitter-bomb Newt Gingrich did I? Yeah I guess that's what happened. Ow. Hang on I'm gonna go lie down.


----------



## mimesis

hela said:


> Why do guys measure their dicks? Do you use a ruler or measuring tape? When did you first measure it, if you have? Did you measure length and girth, or just length?


Because guys measure everything. 

I think I did it twice in my life. One time as a teen. Forgot about it, mainly due to mixed info on how/where to measure, which made it a bit pointless. No pun intended. 

Then again in my 30ies, after reading some article. I was actually more interested in girth, but while I was at...

I used ruler (topside) and tape (actually a stripe of paper, and then measured it). And a calculator since we use the metric system.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

Enfpleasantly said:


> What comes to mind when you see this picture?
> I hope when this person turns around it's not the guy that was giving me a blowjob.
> *The things a woman can get a man to do.
> *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Is there anything specific that makes you feel overwhelmed? If so, would you be willing to share what it is?
> 
> *Yes. When suddently under an extremely short time constraint and I don't have a path to take. I'm processing and watching the seconds run off the clock. 3.2.1.. Sticking to women an example would be where I'm leading the conversation, run out of things to say, silence, and she won't toss me a bone. The sudden fizzle out. I'm happy in silence, but you can just feel the energy dispersing, yet there's nothing you can do about it.*
> 
> If you were walking through a garden center and noticed a pair of garden gnomes placed in a sexual position, what kind of person/s would you imagine set them up like that?
> 
> *Probably the same people that scratch phone numbers on the bathroom wall.*
> 
> Are you afraid of the dentist?
> 
> *Nope. I've had the same dentist all my life. He hums to the oldies. *
> 
> Do you go to Taco Bell with friends late at night after you've been drinking? (there's a designated driver).
> 
> *I'm actually outside the city so I'm driving home alone and stopping at Taco Bell.
> *
> What do you think of those shoes that look like feet with the individual toes? I don't know what they're actually called.
> 
> *Toe shoes? They're alright, but I don't know if I'd wear them. I like steel toe or those curved shoes you must always balance to stay standing.
> 
> *What song would be your theme song?


Here's a good one.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

HonestAndTrue said:


> Here's a good one.


One of my favorites...but such sad lyrics for a theme song


----------



## HonestAndTrue

hela said:


> Why do guys measure their dicks? Do you use a ruler or measuring tape? When did you first measure it, if you have? Did you measure length and girth, or just length?


To see what it will fit into.


* *















A cloth tape measure.

First measured it after someone asked me the question. Last measured it after I posted in the vaginal tearing thread within the last week.

Just length the first time. Length and girth this time. Also angle, straightness, hardness and head length. Basically anything google returned to measure.



Enfpleasantly said:


> First thing that comes to mind when you read these words...
> 
> Glitter - Valentines Cards
> Pink - Aerosmith
> Camel - ot
> Makeup - Sex
> Ice cream - Cone
> Tip toe - Through the tulips
> Tongue - Can touch nose
> Neck - tie
> Bite - n
> Happy - Hour
> Dark - Angel
> End - of Days
> 
> 
> *Bonus- create a story using the words I listed.


Once upon a time, in a once *happy *land far far away, we join a *camel *on a journey. The camel took a *bite *out of his master and was cursed. Things seemed *dark*. It was always one thing or another be it sticking their *neck *out when they shouldn't or the inability to hold their *tongue*. On the journey our camel happens upon a sleeping maiden, all dolled up with *glitter *and *makeup*. The camel *tip toes *closer to her. The maiden awakens and offers the camel *ice cream *for a ride. He agrees, with the condition that it must be *pink*. The *end*.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

Enfpleasantly said:


> One of my favorites...but such sad lyrics for a theme song


One step on a journey.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

@_Enfpleasantly_

* *







Enfpleasantly said:


> What comes to mind when you see this picture?


Adventure ^__^ Completing a major goal/accomplishment ^__^ ... A cold butt 
Beautiful scenery ... "On top of the world" 
Hungry and physically tired (but tired in a "I feel awesome" way) after the climb to get up there 
Preparation before speeding down a mountain on a snowboard  (excitement)

*Is there anything specific that makes you feel overwhelmed? If so, would you be willing to share what it is? *
NEVER!!!!!!!! :tongue:

I can feel overwhelmed from time to time I suppose. Mostly when there is something important I need to do, that takes a lot of time, and I don't have a lot of time to do it lol ... I mean I still push through, but in the beginning I will feel overwhelmed a bit (until I have a plan)

*If you were walking through a garden center and noticed a pair of garden gnomes placed in a sexual position, what kind of person/s would you imagine set them up like that? *
Depends on the position and how they are dressed 

Well two bearded old men having sex in the middle of the garden ... I hope they don't fall asleep and I hope they remember to call (men never remember to call ) ... Also, that other person is not your wife (they are both a little senile and forgot to wear their glasses) ... No, you are not Santa's elves and don't use children's toys when you, you know, those are um not sex toys *shields eyes* ... Grumpy. Sleepy. Please stop having angry sex now ... in the middle of this beautiful garden ... Your butts are too hair to be considered a display amongst these beautiful flora *shields eyes again*
Oh no, don't sing, you guys are terrible singers ... I would rather look at your hair butts ... Okay, I realize you are fighting authority i.e. me and yes I (authority) always wins so 
No, you guys are not going the plants a favor by "fertilizing them" ... Such disgusting old senile men tisk tisk tisk

*Are you afraid of the dentist? *
Not after what I just witnessed in the garden :crazy:
(no)

*Do you go to Taco Bell with friends late at night after you've been drinking? (there's a designated driver).*
I don't really drink enough to have such experiences lol ... also I could literally walk to 20 bars (at least), but I would need to get a car or use public transportation to get to a Taco Bell in my area (no, scratch that, there is a Taco Bell in a mall and I know the mall is open past midnight ... Google maps says it is a little more than a two mile walk to get their from my apt so no drunk Taco Bell runs, just sober ones lol)

*What do you think of those shoes that look like feet with the individual toes? I don't know what they're actually called. *
This thing?









Honestly, I think they are pretty cool. Okay, fine, they don't look nice and I would not wear them for everyday stuff ... but I would love to go hiking in them (hopefully I would not get blisters between my toes lol ) and try to see if the ground feels any different (maybe I would feel the terrain more ), I would want to run in them, and climb things  (I don't know what things, but things will be climbed lol)

*What song would be your theme song?*

















:tongue:


 @_hela_

* *







hela said:


> Why do guys measure their dicks? Do you use a ruler or measuring tape? When did you first measure it, if you have? Did you measure length and girth, or just length?


Idk lol ... When I was 18, I was really good friends with this woman and we got to joking about penises and, as a gag, she got me a ruler to measure it lol (which I did in private lol) ... I only measured the length lol ... before that, I had never measured lol ... and I never measured after that lol
... 
And before you are about the specifics about my penis :tongue:, I will just say this:
You'll have to find out for yourself if you wanna know :wink::tongue: (and even if you say you don't want to know, I will choose to live in my own little world where everyone, women and men, just wants to know :crazy::tongue: //jk)


 @_Enfpleasantly_ again 

* *







Enfpleasantly said:


> First thing that comes to mind when you read these words...


Darn it Ne; Just one thought at a time please lol

*Glitter* ... throwing glitter up in the air ... then arts and crafts .. then strippers lol
*Pink* ... the color ... pink fabric ... girls and pink's association with "girly"
*Camel* ... riding a camel ... Camel Joe (no I never smoked lol)
*Makeup* ... Women ... dates
*Ice cream* ... Vanilla ice cream cone ^__^ ... "I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream" 
*Tip toe* ... What I did as a kid ... something my Mom told me not to do too much ... bunions (not to be confused with funyuns) ... heels
*Tongue* ... beef tongue (jewish deli ... I only had it once) ... the facial expression :tongue:
*Neck* ... a neck ... the side of a woman's neck ... hot ^__^ 
*Bite* ... biting necks (I blame the word order for that one lol) ... vampire 
*Happy *... Yay ^__^ ... happy face ... erection 
*Dark* ... evil/sinister
*End* ... the end of this guessing ... the end of a story ... cout << endl;


**Bonus- create a story using the words I listed.*

As I put on my *makeup*, I can see the *glitter* sparkle in my outfit. My ample bosom is what really adds value to this empty shell. I laugh to cope with the how *dark* it is inside. It is, but a vacuum; There is not light inside of me. The *pink*, sparkling lipstick: day in and day out, it is what I always wear. 

_Men, they're all the same. They don't want a person, they just want a cheap doll, that looks nice, no *camel* toe, and will shut the hell up when you buy it some *ice cream*. Such Fuckers. "Be a doll and *tip toe* wherever you go", is way they think when they expect us to wear fucking heels every single fucking day._
_Ow. Fucking great, now my *neck* fucking hurts. I bit my *tongue* too. What the hell am hell am I doing? What the hell am I doing?
_
I consciously look at the mirror once more as a rush of ecstasy fills my body. *Happy*? This feeling, like a drug is starting to consume me. I can feel it coursing through my veins. As my neck pulses over and over again, the mirror shows two spots on my neck. Realization is upon me as fall to the floor. I still hate myself.

A flower that has never learned to bloom finally meets its "*end*". A "man" rises up after having a good *bite* and tells her "afterlife" is no different, only worse. 


Meh, that story stunk lol ... But at least I used all the words 
End: Darn, someone beat me to the stripper story


----------



## Enfpleasantly

You guys have such different perspectives you each bring to the table, it's very entertaining to me! 

Ok, so here's more: 

Would you rather show another man up by being a more desirable mate to women, or would you rather show him up by let's say, being physically stronger at arm wrestling? 

If you have kids, are there any baby gear/products you find yourself oddly excited about? 

If you don't have kids, do you think you will one day become oddly excited about certain baby gear/products? 

Many men are Jr.'s, III's, etc., what do you think about that... nice, confusing?

Do you laugh or smile at inappropriate times? 

Do you like lipstick, gloss, or nothing on a woman's lips? 

Do you like nail polish on a woman's fingernails? If so, what colors do you like the best? Which colors do you like the least? Do you think the choice in color says something about her? 

What is the main drink you consume throughout the day? 

If your neighbor frantically came pounding on your door at 2am saying he heard a loud noise on his roof, went out to check, and saw a UFO sitting there that took off as soon as he got out there, what do you think your initial thoughts be? What if he told you he saw marks on the roof where it sat? Would you want to go see them? Would the marks have any impact on your thinking? 

Apple or Android?

What do you think about this statement; "A man is only as faithful as his options"?


----------



## countrygirl90

1. Do men enjoy cunnilingus the same way that of fellatio .
2. how would you as a man feel about having sex with a physical disabled woman ( kind of with missing limbs or cripple).
3. Is it true that men like anal sex more than straight sex.
4. how much do you care about a woman's makeup or dressing sense.


----------



## wiarumas

In quote



Enfpleasantly said:


> You guys have such different perspectives you each bring to the table, it's very entertaining to me!
> 
> Ok, so here's more:
> 
> Would you rather show another man up by being a more desirable mate to women, or would you rather show him up by let's say, being physically stronger at arm wrestling?
> 
> *depends. I have no interest in resorting to an act like arm wrestling to impress a woman, which in itself I guess is a way of showing up the meatheads as a more desirable mate. Ultimately brains over brawn, but I definitely want to establish I have brawn - just not my go to. *
> 
> If you have kids, are there any baby gear/products you find yourself oddly excited about?
> 
> *nothing comes to mind but I know there was. I think generally speaking, there are a lot of awesome improvements from my childhood. Like the carrying thing that snaps into the car seat and stroller is a pretty neat product. Diapers that change color when its wet. He has some pretty neat toys - a very elaborate tunnel/tent system, Thomas train stuff, etc. I also wore a bjorn quite often lmao. *
> 
> If you don't have kids, do you think you will one day become oddly excited about certain baby gear/products?
> 
> Many men are Jr.'s, III's, etc., what do you think about that... nice, confusing?
> 
> *actually, my wife's side of the family had that going on up to VI or something. So we changed it up and carried on my name. He is a II, not a junior. It depends on the parents name and the parent. You don't want warrants out for your kids arrest as a mix up, but if the father has a relatively good record and the name passes the presidential test, I think it's a good idea. *presidential test is a rule I use for baby names. That is, the name can't be strange, common, or unique enough that the kid could never be president. *
> 
> Do you laugh or smile at inappropriate times?
> 
> *occassionally. I don't want to say its a problem, but I have been known to find some inappropriate things comical in a way. I can't give any examples though - cant think of any at the moment. *
> 
> Do you like lipstick, gloss, or nothing on a woman's lips?
> 
> *depends on the girl and her lips, skin tone, etc. for the most part, I like a very natural beauty and minimal makeup. So, nothing or whatever the girl uses to highlight natural (gloss?) is fine. *
> 
> Do you like nail polish on a woman's fingernails? If so, what colors do you like the best? Which colors do you like the least? Do you think the choice in color says something about her?
> 
> *i have no preference. Yes, color could say something about her. For example, a girl with black nail paint may suggest something different than the girl with pink which may suggest something different than the girl without any. I personally don't care much. If anything, maybe I'd prefer the minimum like French tips (or nothing at all). *
> 
> What is the main drink you consume throughout the day?
> 
> *water.*
> 
> If your neighbor frantically came pounding on your door at 2am saying he heard a loud noise on his roof, went out to check, and saw a UFO sitting there that took off as soon as he got out there, what do you think your initial thoughts be? What if he told you he saw marks on the roof where it sat? Would you want to go see them? Would the marks have any impact on your thinking?
> 
> *my original thought would be "oh, shit." I wouldn't be interested in the marks nor would I want to see them. I'd want to get the f out of there. I don't need the marks to confirm what I saw. I'd tell him to go check it out, take pictures, print it out. I'm not going up there - taking unnecessary risk, picking up radiation or whatever. *
> 
> Apple or Android?
> 
> *Apple. I own more AAPL than GOOG. *
> 
> What do you think about this statement; "A man is only as faithful as his options"?
> 
> *true, but more to it than that. The more his relationship deteriorates, the better those options appear. A man with no options has no choice but to put up with it. So it's a mixture of unfulfilled needs (and not just sexual) and options to satisfy them. *


----------



## phony

Have you ever had a pet die?  How did you handle it?


----------



## HonestAndTrue

surra said:


> what moment in your life made you tear up the most?


I may or may not still be in that moment. My grandma died last year at the age of 96. And then just before Christmas a great man at Church, we'll call him my Church father, died at the age of 84. Before my grandma died I had avoided going to some funerals. For her funeral where I was also a casket bearer I remained strong while everyone else shed tears. For my Church father, for the visitation, funeral, cemetery, and sharing the meal after I also remained strong publicly while I watched others shed tears. But privately I shed tears for my Church father, my grandma, and people who's funerals I had missed.

Here's a post I made after the visitation of my Church father and before the funeral.


* *








HonestAndTrue said:


> Mood: Grieving
> 
> Reason: Death. Someone I haven't seen much in recent years, but that was a strong Christian, community member, church elder, father and worker. I'm the youngest child but my youngest older sister was best friends with one of this man's daughters, my youngest older brother was best friends with one of this man's sons. And with larger than average families and Church you become friends not only one to another but entire family to entire family. And I as the young one would frequently be around either the girl friends or the guy friends.
> 
> I remember this man in Church. I remember this man in his home at the time. I remember this man. I just got home from the visitation, funeral is tomorrow morning. People were smiling, looking at old pictures, telling old stories, laughing, remembering and sharing the greatness. Also some inappropriate humor, I think meant to show more feeling without showing vulnerability.
> 
> Life is short. Great people are everywhere. We are all imperfect. But some, just some, it's difficult to see where they are imperfect.
> 
> Writing this so in a week, in a month, I can re-read and perhaps feel what I'm feeling now.
> 
> :happy::crying::happy: From what I know, he was an example for a real man to model his life after.







Honestly, right now I'm looking at my life and deciding to change. So most days now I tear up from time to time as I allow thoughts to surface and work through them rather than ignoring or keeping them buried. So I let a thought surface, tear up, forgive myself, and free myself from it. It's a day-to-day journey though. But I'm already realizing benefits. And deciding to post here in this thread is one step on furthering that journey.

Thank you for the question.


----------



## William I am

surra said:


> Something to ask from you guys.. what moment in your life made you tear up the most? Can you define what actually made you cry.. was it something soothing about it, magnificient, terrifying, terrible, something greater than yourself or what?


It's primarily been terrible things, but that's made magnificently beautiful things (like symphonies and beautiful stories- often ones I'm precluded from experiencing by age or something like that) move me to tears a few times. With the stories it's a a little feeling sorry for myself, but mostly feeling happy that it could happen.

Generally, it's been losing someone be it in a relationship or through death. A few times frustration has moved me to tears too, but not for quite a while. It was when I was frustrated and made to feel helpless. At least once was because a teacher seemed to be unfit to wield the power they'd been given (one of them was fired the year I left for going out of her way to find reasons for punishing guys in the class).

As for my cat, I'm not sure how old he was. Maybe 17-20. He'd been deaf since a year after we found him from an inner ear infection. A friend of mine said their cat got ill and lost a lot of weight, then they brought him back from the brink by switching to all natural food. I'm sure it's pricey, but only compared to the cheap crapola most cats eat. It's amazing how bad a quality of food you can eat and not notice how bad it might be for you.


----------



## CaptainWildChild

Do you think a guy and a girl could be friends?


----------



## HonestAndTrue

CaptainWildChild said:


> Do you think a guy and a girl could be friends?


There's multiple other threads on this question. Suffice it to say if it gets past the acquaintance stage I'll always have thoughts of more even if I won't act on them or verbalize them. So in that respect no.


----------



## CaptainWildChild

HonestAndTrue said:


> There's multiple other threads on this question. Suffice it to say if it gets past the acquaintance stage I'll always have thoughts of more even if I won't act on them or verbalize them. So in that respect no.


Oh, here I thought you were a man and that I could ask you anything, how silly of me!:dry:


----------



## Jennywocky

CaptainWildChild said:


> Oh, here I thought you were a man and that I could ask you anything, how silly of me!:dry:



Lol. You can ask, but I do remember seeing some decently long threads on the topic elsewhere -- it's more that you'll probably get a LOT more info if you find those threads and read them.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

CaptainWildChild said:


> Oh, here I thought you were a man and that I could ask you anything, how silly of me!:dry:


Silly woman! I've no doubt written thousand of words on this in other threads.



Jennywocky said:


> Lol. You can ask, but I do remember seeing some decently long threads on the topic elsewhere -- it's more that you'll probably get a LOT more info if you find those threads and read them.


Exactly.
@CaptainWildChild When I go to the top, click Advanced Search, put in for keywords "men women friends", change Search Entire Posts to Search Titles Only, I get 15 threads.


----------



## CaptainWildChild

What? I'm not silly. If you say "ask me anything" it I asked you what is the meaning of life you should answer it without complaints since you said "ask me anything". Your offering is just empty words... -.-


----------



## CaptainWildChild

HonestAndTrue said:


> Silly woman! I've no doubt written thousand of words on this in other threads.
> 
> 
> 
> Exactly.
> @_CaptainWildChild_ When I go to the top, click Advanced Search, put in for keywords "men women friends", change Search Entire Posts to Search Titles Only, I get 15 threads.



What? I'm not silly. If you say "ask me anything" it I asked you what is the meaning of life you should answer it without complaints since you said "ask me anything". Your offering is just empty words... -.-


----------



## Mr. Meepers

surra said:


> Something to ask from you guys.. what moment in your life made you tear up the most? Can you define what actually made you cry.. was it something soothing about it, magnificient, terrifying, terrible, something greater than yourself or what?


I suppose I have two times that I remember that made me cry the most (I remember crying a lot).
I have cried other times too, but these two felt like the longest amount of crying (perhaps because I was not holding back either).
One was this dream I had as a kid (I may have been a young teenager, I'm not sure). It was kind of a crazy dream, but in it, I had say my Father die. Now, it was during the summer and I had refused to see my Dad for a couple months because I did not want to get caught up in his games. Anyway, I woke up and I thought my dream was real and I found myself crying for someone I did not think I would cry for. And it took me a while to realize it was just a dream lol. I was so upset by it.

The other time, a song was playing and I had heard that song many times without having any watery eyes, but this time I heard it with an SO that I had been with for a while (this song had nothing to do with her, she just lowered my guard and the song hit a sensitive spot on me). And I found myself so moved by the song (I know I was happy, but I think it reminded me of a lot of pain too lol) that I started to cry lol. (there was actually two songs, but this one song touched me more and several times*
It is a very beautiful song ^__^

*listens to song*
Maybe my eyes are a little watery (not much) and I feel tingly, but nope no tears :tongue:

Oh ... and there is no stinkin' way I am telling you guys the song(s) lol *listens to the song again*
Okay, my eyes are watery now :tongue:



CaptainWildChild said:


> Do you think a guy and a girl could be friends?


For the purpose of this question, I'll assume both parties are heterosexual.

My personal opinion is yes, but I'm sure there are many that disagree with me.

I mean, for one thing, there is no guarantee that either will be attracted to the other.
Now, can a romantic and/or sexual attraction occur over time? Absolutely, but must that mean something. I think as long as you respect your friend and you don't obsess over the attraction, then it is no big deal. You can still see your friend as a human being and perfectly enjoy their friendship while looking for a romantic and/or sexual partner elsewhere. 

But, as other posters said, other threads (such as one of the stickied threads) should give you a better answer although with a debate showing arguments from both sides ^__^



CaptainWildChild said:


> What? I'm not silly. If you say "ask me anything" it I asked you what is the meaning of life you should answer it without complaints since you said "ask me anything". Your offering is just empty words... -.-


Hey, it is our thread and we will complain if we want too :tongue: //jk







Oh, and the meaning of life is:

* *





42

* *





To find your own meaning :tongue:


----------



## William I am

@CaptainWildChild - He did answer you. You just don't like the answer.

My answer: They can act like friends, but almost always one of them is looking for romance. So they can Act like friends but they're not usually friends. In general - no.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

More questions:

Do you find it more or less attractive when a woman reveals quite a bit about her sexual habits than a woman who keeps it private? 

If you were with a group of friends and everyone ended up skinny dipping, would you participate? Would you be ok with your SO participating?

Do you like to play cat and mouse games with women? If so, has it ever backfired on you because the girl ended up frustrated and gave up? 

Can you recall a moment when you were the most angry you've ever been? If so, what caused it? 

Do you think women are more uptight about their bodies than they need to be? I mean, has a woman ever felt self-conscious about her appearance and you truly felt like she was being ridiculous because she looked great to you? And I'm talking genuine self-consciousness, not ridiculous fishing for compliments.


----------



## 7rr7s

surra said:


> Something to ask from you guys.. what moment in your life made you tear up the most? Can you define what actually made you cry.. was it something soothing about it, magnificient, terrifying, terrible, something greater than yourself or what?


Prior to a near fatal accident in 2008, I was coasting through life. After the accident however, I became very sensitive to all things. The slightest thing would set me off. I would become teary eyed looking at the trees swaying in the breeze, thinking about how beautiful it is to be alive and experiencing this. A quote, a picture, a scene from a movie; everything seemed to arouse in me something profound and moving. In many ways I am still like this. 

When I really started to think about my life and what I valued the most, I thought of my family, and my first Christmas (I called everything my first from then on because I was so far on the other side, being alive really was a second chance) I decided to tell them how I felt. I wrote my Mother, my Father, and my Sister a sincere heartfelt letter telling them how much I loved them and how much they meant to me, and I read them on Christmas Eve. I thought I could get through it without any tears, but my voice cracked on the first sentence. 

I sobbed and wept like I haven't before or since. Everyone was in tears. It was one of the most beautiful cathartic experiences of my life. 



CaptainWildChild said:


> Do you think a guy and a girl could be friends?


Yes. But it doesn't take long for one or the other to develop feelings of a different nature. Nothing wrong with that, it's natural, but it can get sticky if it's not reciprocated. It takes work to manage, but it can be done.


----------



## Wellsy

Enfpleasantly said:


> More questions:
> 
> *Do you find it more or less attractive when a woman reveals quite a bit about her sexual habits than a woman who keeps it private? *
> Do you mean revealing if she's slept with a few men or not? I do think in with values I have a tendency for girls who aren't as promiscuous and thats more because I'm not myself. I dont think i cancel such people out, if I clicked with such a girl i'd be okay with it. But then again im probably happier not knowing a persons past because i dont care that much unless they want to tell me they got some STI.
> 
> *If you were with a group of friends and everyone ended up skinny dipping, would you participate? Would you be ok with your SO participating?
> *I've done this before, it was night though stupid though. Because the water was so frigging cold and had no towel. Id be fine with my SO joining in as long as friends knew the boundaries and didnt think simply because shes got no clothes on she is keen on them. Nudity to me doesn't always merit sexual intent to me. I'd be fine being naked in front of others but i know others make a big deal out of this sort of thing which I learnt after a dodgey game of strip poker that I lost.
> 
> *Do you like to play cat and mouse games with women? If so, has it ever backfired on you because the girl ended up frustrated and gave up?
> *I don't like games, i like being direct. Makes life a lot easier saying what I think than assuming things and working on possible errors.
> 
> *Can you recall a moment when you were the most angry you've ever been? If so, what caused it?*
> I am a type 9 so I have anger issues in that I tend to repress them but theres been times with people i've cared about i've hurt them and I can't seem to make things better that I ended up frustrated to a point where I wanted to go yelling and swearing at anything but didn't.
> 
> *Do you think women are more uptight about their bodies than they need to be? I mean, has a woman ever felt self-conscious about her appearance and you truly felt like she was being ridiculous because she looked great to you? And I'm talking genuine self-consciousness, not ridiculous fishing for compliments.*
> Yeah i've seen some girls who look stunning or not bad at all and they still retain such insecurities in fact i'd say some of the more stereotypically attractive girls were more insecure than most. That they had to maintain their beauty at all times. Even if I believed them to be beautiful at their worst. I don't often get attracted to people but I can still take note of women being attractive. I find a wide range of women physically attractive though I have no interest in them but at the same time I can understand some fears when I hear young boyish men make crude comments.
> I've seen guys back down from women they're interested in because another guy said she was ugly instead of standing up for themselves they then agreed and its disgusting.
> I don't much care for other peoples opinion when I find someone attractive, boys can try and stir it up and have a laugh but im unaffected. Women certainly don't need to look like women in magazines and in fact an average womans body is so much more appealing. Sometimes its nice seeing a woman not dolled up.


These are my thoughts


----------



## 7rr7s

Enfpleasantly said:


> More questions:
> 
> Do you find it more or less attractive when a woman reveals quite a bit about her sexual habits than a woman who keeps it private?
> 
> *I find both attractive, but for different reasons. If she reveals it early, I like it because it tells me she is open, honest and adventurous. If she keeps it private, I like it because it tells me she likes her privacy, as do I, and probably won't go around telling secrets. It also makes her more mysterious. *
> 
> If you were with a group of friends and everyone ended up skinny dipping, would you participate? Would you be ok with your SO participating?
> 
> *I'm still a little insecure about my looks, but I think I would say fuck it and do it anyways. It'd probably teach me a thing or do about perceptions. Also, it'd be pretty damn fun. And I wouldn't care if my SO did it as long as she was comfortable doing so. *
> 
> Do you like to play cat and mouse games with women? If so, has it ever backfired on you because the girl ended up frustrated and gave up?
> 
> *Not really. The whole playing games thing is kind of a waste of time to me. I'd just be direct with her and tell her how I feel and see what was up. *
> 
> Can you recall a moment when you were the most angry you've ever been? If so, what caused it?
> 
> *This is a hard one. I've **always had a hot temper, and it's something I've been working on, but I still have scars on my knuckles from punching walls, breaking doors, ect. There is one time however, I can recall getting very angry, like hateful aggressive **about to go Mike Tyson mode angry.
> 
> I was bar tending at a private party at a 4 million dollar mansion. The whole night people were cordial, but I could tell something was up. Well after I was done, one of the guys came up to me and told me they had been making fun of my disability the whole night, but he wanted to tell me so there would be no hard feelings. Later on, the owner of the house told me to come clean, and admit I was really an illegal alien(because I'm hispanic) Now,* *the first incident, I was just in shock that someone actually had the balls to say that to me. But the second time, I was pure rage mode. I chewed that motherfucker out so hard and left. *
> 
> *That's probably what sets me off most, people giving me shit about something I can't change. I've rolled up to fights where I knew I was outnumbered just to duke it out with some clown who had been talking shit about my arm. **Not the wisest move, but when you are in rage mode you don't think so clearly. *
> 
> Do you think women are more uptight about their bodies than they need to be? I mean, has a woman ever felt self-conscious about her appearance and you truly felt like she was being ridiculous because she looked great to you? And I'm talking genuine self-consciousness, not ridiculous fishing for compliments.


Beauty is a strange thing. It seems like the more stunning a woman is, the more self conscience she is about her looks. Not always, but alot of the times this is the case. I feel bad for them, really. To think that your value is based primarily on your looks, and to know that alot of people won't take you seriously, or challenge you, or will be intimidated by you because of that, that's sad. It's sad that they have to even question that. That's like Hendrix asking everyone if they thought he was a good guitarist. To everyone else not on that level, it's a question that most people can't understand. 

Point is, I think women need to be less hard on themselves with regards to looks. We all have insecurities yes, but you don't have to look like a playboy supermodel to feel good about yourself. Those women are airbrushed anyways.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

Enfpleasantly said:


> More questions:
> 
> Do you find it more or less attractive when a woman reveals quite a bit about her sexual habits than a woman who keeps it private?
> 
> *Varies drastically on context.*
> 
> If you were with a group of friends and everyone ended up skinny dipping, would you participate? Would you be ok with your SO participating?
> 
> *Okay, who brought the brownies? No. No.
> 
> *Do you like to play cat and mouse games with women? If so, has it ever backfired on you because the girl ended up frustrated and gave up?
> 
> *Yes. If she gives up has it backfired?*
> 
> Can you recall a moment when you were the most angry you've ever been? If so, what caused it?
> *The most angry I've ever been was when my previous boss and I had an impromptu meeting. I'm one that likes being prepared. It didn't turn out so good. I thought through what we discussed and before the work day ended went to her office prepared and clarified what I had said. She did not understand. The next day she called me in for yet another impromptu meeting, but not only with her but her boss, the CIO of the company. Needless to say while the CIO and I agreed on merit, the CIO supported my previous boss. Blindsided, and then the next day blindsided to a greater degree. *
> *
> That or another time when I had an impromptu meeting with my previous boss. She told me not to talk with her boss, the CIO. So after I left the meeting with her I instantly went directly to the CIO and had an impromptu meeting with him. Never tell someone not to go up the chain of command, it's a sign of weakness. My current boss is fine if I go all the way up to the CEO.*
> 
> Do you think women are more uptight about their bodies than they need to be? I mean, has a woman ever felt self-conscious about her appearance and you truly felt like she was being ridiculous because she looked great to you? And I'm talking genuine self-consciousness, not ridiculous fishing for compliments.


*
Yes. Then again if I know the inside and it is beautiful, I see the outside as beautiful too. On the other side looks alone someone can be 10/10, but when they open their mouth and show their personality they can go to a 0/10.*


----------



## nevermore

CaptainWildChild said:


> Do you think a guy and a girl could be friends?


Most of my friends are women, so yeah. I never had crushes on the vast majority of my female friends. I think that (again assuming both of them like the opposite sex) it raises the chances of one of them liking the other romantically a lot, but there's no guarantee. I think that romantic love and "friend love" is different. But people's mileage may vary. And it helps if you have a lot of opposite sex friends (you'll find you just can't crush on that many people, at least I don't have the emotional capacity for that) or if one person doesn't find the other sexually attractive.


----------



## mental blockstack

I'm bored enough to chime in on one of these




Enfpleasantly said:


> More questions:
> 
> Do you find it more or less attractive when a woman reveals quite a bit about her sexual habits than a woman who keeps it private?
> 
> *If she basically admitted to being very slutty, that's unattractive. If she was interesting, open, adventurous etc without being that, that leans more toward attractive. If she wanted to be an attractive tease, she could subtly hint something about her more private body every so often, without necessarily being blatantly sexually open.*
> 
> If you were with a group of friends and everyone ended up skinny dipping, would you participate? Would you be ok with your SO participating?
> 
> *Why not? I'd prefer being in shape for that though, especially if the SO was involved.*
> 
> Do you like to play cat and mouse games with women? If so, has it ever backfired on you because the girl ended up frustrated and gave up?
> 
> *Yeah, I've done that. What ended up happening a few times was that I flipped the tables so she was the cat, then I just got bored so she got heartbroken and hated me. I'm starting to learn all sides of the game and finally learning about peoples' emotions, including my own.*
> 
> Can you recall a moment when you were the most angry you've ever been? If so, what caused it?
> 
> *Ruminating on individuals who I've held in strong contempt.*
> 
> Do you think women are more uptight about their bodies than they need to be? I mean, has a woman ever felt self-conscious about her appearance and you truly felt like she was being ridiculous because she looked great to you? And I'm talking genuine self-consciousness, not ridiculous fishing for compliments.
> 
> *Naturally, the ones who are most uptight often try the hardest to make themselves look better. If they're attractive in the first place, sometimes even "fixing themselves up" just means piling on unnecessary makeup and going overboard. Though if they're level-headed, they know how to make it the right amount. Don't even get me started on the plastic surgery industry.*


----------



## android654

Enfpleasantly said:


> More questions:
> 
> Do you find it more or less attractive when a woman reveals quite a bit about her sexual habits than a woman who keeps it private?


I don't believe in shaming people for the kind of sex they have or don't have. I also don't think you ear any "points" as a person by hiding every sexual thing about yourself from people you spend time with. If someone wants talk about it I'm more than willing to take part in the conversation, but if they don't I'm not going to pressure them into discussing something they don't want to.



> If you were with a group of friends and everyone ended up skinny dipping, would you participate? Would you be ok with your SO participating?


I don't know if I would, but I'm not the jealous type so I'd like to think I would not care if they decided to do so.



> Do you like to play cat and mouse games with women?


I don't know if I "like" to, but I often find myself playing it.



> If so, has it ever backfired on you because the girl ended up frustrated and gave up?


I'm usually the one with lower tolerance and give up sooner. It's so easy to get someone out of your life that I don't see the reason to pussyfoot around with *one* person for months on end when I can delete their number and move on.



> Can you recall a moment when you were the most angry you've ever been? If so, what caused it?


A friend of mine moved away for a few months to be with his father who was very ill at the time and he thought would die. His girlfriend was in a bad place and since I was his closest friend he asked me to keep an eye on her, which wasn't asking much since she was a close friend of mine as well. Someone we knew took it upon themselves to tell him that I and his girlfriend were having sex while he was gone. He was livid, understandably, and it built up a feud of back and forth arguing for those three months until he got back.

When it was all cleared up as to what had happened the person responsible was shunned by just about everyone else we knew, so there wasn't much I could do about it then. 

The reason why this got to me so much was because my loyalty was being questioned, which is something I value most in people. I never betray those close to me or lie to them about anything, so to accuse me of cheating with your girlfriend, who is also my friend, after you asked me to keep an eye on her because she wasn't well was more than enough to scream bloody murder. Thankfully it was all resolved and it we're still close friends today.



> Do you think women are more uptight about their bodies than they need to be?


Yes I do. I'm not sure how much is the fault of magazines and media, or men fueling society with their lust --personally I think all of those are bullshit reasons people give to explain why they succumb to peer pressure-- and how much is personal choice but I think women are more susceptible to falling in the trap of feeling inadequate with their bodies than men are.

I think this has to do with women being more long term planners than men are. Women tend to care more about five years down the road, ten years down the road, the consequences of X, the repercussions of Y and so on. Men tend to care more about the immediate exchange between cause and reaction. I think this opens the door to being more afraid of how you look now will affect the life you'll have ten years from now, while men can roll out of bed, slap on a dirty t-shirt and be shocked when women don't swoon over them. 

Granted that's all based on stereotypes but that's my opinion on society as a whole on the issue.



> I mean, has a woman ever felt self-conscious about her appearance and you truly felt like she was being ridiculous because she looked great to you? And I'm talking genuine self-consciousness, not ridiculous fishing for compliments.


Oh most definitely. I think that's more because men don't care about their appearance as much, so insecurities tied into that fall to a smaller group of men. Women tend to be more sensitive on the topic but it's not that surprising when they grow up in a society that imbues them with responsibility of being attractive for the sake of being attractive. That breeds a lot of insecurity to have that kind of role placed upon you and to feel as though you don't reach it. 

I'm not sure you can be adept at discerning the difference between fishing for compliments and insecurities fueled by a hypersensitiveness that manifests itself as insecurities. If someone asks, "Do you think I'm beautiful," is she trying to gain another admirer or does she genuinely feel ugly to her core and is seeking some kind of comfort from someone, anyone who is willing to listen?


----------



## wiarumas

CaptainWildChild said:


> Do you think a guy and a girl could be friends?


Without a doubt, yes. The debate is whether they can be friends without any sexual tension or interest.


----------



## HunniHunni

Okie~~~~


----------



## Mr. Meepers

HunniHunni said:


> UMMMM....DO YOU LIKE CHEESE()??


Awe, your avatar is just too adorable for words :kitteh:

Anyway, I love cheese ... perhaps a little too much (when you factor in genetics) .... If I could I would eat cheese all the time *Q*

But, as it turns out, I'm temporarily cutting off all foods high in cholesterol, but fear not as I found something that is healthy (well, I liked the nutritional facts at least ... nutritious might be a better word) and actually tastes pretty good










If I combined that with:








and








and some toppings (at least spinach leaves, tomatoes, and pickles)

I can have a fairly nutritious cheese burger that tastes pretty good ^__^ (Don't miss the Wendy's triple cheese burger lol ... not that I would eat those that much lol)
and I <3 Cheese and Cheese burgers ^__^ 

... now if only they made vegetarian and/or chicken salami *Q* //jk


----------



## HonestAndTrue

Mr. Meepers said:


> now if only they made vegetarian and/or chicken salami


Hope Brooklyn isn't too far.
Chicken Salami LB.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

HonestAndTrue said:


> Hope Brooklyn isn't too far.
> Chicken Salami LB.


*Q* *Q* *Q* *Q* *Q* *Q* *Q* lol

... Meh, Brooklyn is close enough ... (for salami it is close enough lol)
That looks yummy ^__^ ... It looks a little fatty, but not as fatty as pork and beef salamis I have seen (and I did not see a nutricion facts)

So, it may be something I'll try in a couple months (note: I have not had salami in years, so trying in a couple months = good find)
Thank you ^__^ *hugs*


----------



## Enfpleasantly

I went out eat last weekend and observed a very classic scenario...girl and guy are out together and in walks a large group of Jersey Shore looking people...the girls were dressed all sexified, one was wearing a skirt with fishnets, another comes in with cleavage up to her chin, etc. etc. All of a sudden, the girl across the table (hibachi place) starts bitching to her date that it's ridiculous and "who would dress like that?!", "there's a time and a place for everything, and this is not a place you dress like that!". She goes on and on while her guy kind of looks at his plate, listens, smiles, and nods every now and then. Which leads to my question:

Be honest...what is running through your mind when/ if your SO starts talking about other women like that? Do you tend to agree? Think she's being nasty? Something else?


----------



## wiarumas

HunniHunni said:


> UMMMM....DO YOU LIKE CHEESE()??


I like dozens of cheeses. Some others, I don't care for.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

Enfpleasantly said:


> I went out eat the other night and observed a very classic scenario...girl and guy are out together and in walks a large group of Jersey Shore looking people...the girls were dressed all sexified, one was wearing a skirt with fishnets, another comes in with cleavage up to her chin, etc. etc. All of a sudden, the girl across the table (hibachi place) starts bitching to her date that it's ridiculous and "who would dress like that?!", "there's a time and a place for everything, and this is not a place you dress like that!". She goes on and on while her guy kind of looks at his plate, listens, smiles, and nods every now and then. Which leads to my question:
> 
> Be honest...what is running through your mind when/ if your SO starts talking about other women like that? Do you tend to agree? Think she's being nasty? Something else?


Hmm. Theory crafting. I'd be thinking, why is she talking about this. Is she a new SO, have we not had this talk before? Did I look at the new people and she didn't like the smile on my face? I'm almost always smiling as I look at new people though. Bad day at work? Is she riding the cotton pony? What's the reason? I'd tend to agree, but after the first time she should just be able to give me a glance, I return with an agree glance, and no talking about it is necessary, which is what I'm familiar with. Never experienced such a reaction in public. If she's talking with the intention of them hearing her, then she's probably being nasty. If she's keeping it quiet and between us, she's probably not being nasty but may have verbal diarrhea. I'd no doubt make a move to stop the monologue.

Hibachi huh?


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> I went out eat last weekend and observed a very classic scenario...girl and guy are out together and in walks a large group of Jersey Shore looking people...the girls were dressed all sexified, one was wearing a skirt with fishnets, another comes in with cleavage up to her chin, etc. etc. All of a sudden, the girl across the table (hibachi place) starts bitching to her date that it's ridiculous and "who would dress like that?!", "there's a time and a place for everything, and this is not a place you dress like that!". She goes on and on while her guy kind of looks at his plate, listens, smiles, and nods every now and then. Which leads to my question:
> 
> Be honest...what is running through your mind when/ if your SO starts talking about other women like that? Do you tend to agree? Think she's being nasty? Something else?


Most of the time she's right, sometimes I think she's being a bit ridiculous, but most times I think she's being a bit over dramatic about it. You can just state it once and leave it at that. But she'll keep going or seem to care too much as if she expects me to take it personal (ie, I'm offended she dressed like that! *astonished look*). So I just nod my head, continue doing what im doing, and pretend to listen, hoping shell stop talking about it eventually.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Follow up question to my last question:

Do you think maybe when a SO does this, she feels slightly threatened? Like maybe she doesn't want you to think those girls are prettier than she is?

Another question: 

When you see a hot girl, do you picture her naked? Do you imagine effing her?


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> Follow up question to my last question:
> 
> Do you think maybe when a SO does this, she feels slightly threatened? Like maybe she doesn't want you to think those girls are prettier than she is?
> 
> *yes, I do think she does that to an extent. Maybe not because she feels threatened, but maybe because she gets reassurance from it? It's different. I think it depends on the degree of her reaction. If she's making fun of them vs being visibly upset. *
> 
> Another question:
> 
> When you see a hot girl, do you picture her naked? Do you imagine effing her?
> 
> *rarely. I check out whats there more than have a running inagination. I can see her butt, i see her legs, i notice no bra, etc. Most of the time I just admire. Not necessarily taking it to the level of imaginary sex. It's more of a curiosity if I would have a chance. Is she out of my league? Do I still got it? Do I give out an old man vibe nowadays - you know, in my cowl sweater, penny loafers, carrying a diaper bag? Not the muscle shirt and badass with high cheek bones i was 10 years ago. Etc. *


In quote


----------



## HonestAndTrue

Enfpleasantly said:


> Follow up question to my last question:
> 
> Do you think maybe when a SO does this, she feels slightly threatened? Like maybe she doesn't want you to think those girls are prettier than she is?
> 
> Another question:
> 
> When you see a hot girl, do you picture her naked? Do you imagine effing her?


I've always gotten to know someone to a certain degree first before we've gone places just the two of us, and thus looks haven't been a factor. If there is passion behind it, it could be insecurity or competition to bring them down in an effort to raise her up. I don't think she'd be selling it to me though but selling it to herself. Then I've never personally been in such a scenario with such a reaction. Glaring to each other, maybe a comment, but no monologue. For the time I'm with you I don't stray. I think it has more to do with the two of them, her specifically, than the new arrivals.

When I see a girl I picture her naked. I imagine. My mind is like that machine at the airport, except I probably keep an imaginary image on file, while I believe the airport they should delete those after a period of time? It's worse though. I can look at your feet avatar and fill in the rest, and imagine. Yet it's still worse. When I see this (







) I sometimes guess wrong the gender and find out later that while I've been reading someone's posts, picturing them naked, imagining, I find out later it's a guy. One reason I abhor that neutral gender symbol. Sometimes I don't even trust when I see the male/female image, even on these man/woman ask me anything threads. I wonder if some people were born one gender and are claiming another. It's a scary world for a straight, heterosexual, guy who pictures,


* *















and imagines.


* *


----------



## android654

Enfpleasantly said:


> Be honest...what is running through your mind when/ if your SO starts talking about other women like that? Do you tend to agree? Think she's being nasty? Something else?


I'm going to be a little sexist here, but honest to my experience. No matter whether they're your friends, girlfriends, sisters or acquaintances, there will always be some women in your life that feel conflict with whatever kind of women enters the room. If I had experienced more poking and making fun of someone's ridiculousness then I wouldn't mind at all, provided they're actually funny. What I do not care for are women who pick at and point out flaws of other women just for the hell of it. It makes them sound incredibly petty and self conscious to have the need to belittle other people in a nasty way. The few times I had dated someone who felt the need to do that I would either walk away or not engage; I'd rather not to have to experience that nasty side of them in person.



> When you see a hot girl, do you picture her naked? Do you imagine effing her?


Even though I'm probably subject to the every-seven-seconds rule, I don't do this too often. The only times I do that is if I'm really worked up and the person looks like she's almost tailored to my liking.


----------



## 7rr7s

HunniHunni said:


> UMMMM....DO YOU LIKE CHEESE()??


I was never real into cheese, but in the past year or so, I've grown to like it. Fetta cheese is boss as hell, and parmagon on mostaccoli is pretty pro as well. 



Enfpleasantly said:


> I went out eat last weekend and observed a very classic scenario...girl and guy are out together and in walks a large group of Jersey Shore looking people...the girls were dressed all sexified, one was wearing a skirt with fishnets, another comes in with cleavage up to her chin, etc. etc. All of a sudden, the girl across the table (hibachi place) starts bitching to her date that it's ridiculous and "who would dress like that?!", "there's a time and a place for everything, and this is not a place you dress like that!". She goes on and on while her guy kind of looks at his plate, listens, smiles, and nods every now and then. Which leads to my question:
> 
> 
> Be honest...what is running through your mind when/ if your SO starts talking about other women like that? Do you tend to agree? Think she's being nasty? Something else?


*Even if I do agree that someone looks like a slob or underdressed, I HATE negativity, and if she's picking people apart, that would piss me off. Making a funny comment is one thing, but if she's being negative in a non joking way, I would ignore it. If she goes on and on about it, I would change the subject. 
*


Enfpleasantly said:


> Follow up question to my last question:
> 
> Do you think maybe when a SO does this, she feels slightly threatened? Like maybe she doesn't want you to think those girls are prettier than she is?
> 
> *Yeah, this seems to be a common thing. Guys might feel intimidated by other guys, but they don't voice it, and I've noticed that women are more vocal about it. It's natural to be that way, because you have to size up your competition, but it starts getting ridiculous when they do that constantly and have an overtly negative tone to it. I understand the reasons behind it, but I can't stand negativity and won't tolerate it. *
> 
> Another question:
> 
> When you see a hot girl, do you picture her naked? Do you imagine effing her?


Usually I just admire. Beauty is beauty, whether it's a painting, a sunset, or a stunning woman. If she seems like my kinda woman, I might imagine other things though. I wonder about her interests, what makes her laugh, what kind of movies she would like, her dreams, fears, sentimentalities, ect. Does she look like she would be a good kisser? Does she look like she would be good in bed? All of this in like 7 to 10 seconds. Just a quick thing.


----------



## wiarumas

Thread needs @Ningsta Kitty to come out of retirement. It dropped off the front page!


----------



## milti

I'm just really curious - do you have folders in your head saying "attractive" and "ew no" about the girls you see? What I mean is, is there a generally accepted "attractive" type and a "repulsive" type?

I'm asking because among the guys *I *know, at least, their ideas of what makes a woman attractive and what doesn't are quite different from what the western media leads us to believe. Also, among my guy friends, some girls we know are generally considered attractive by all of them, so apparently there's definite categories of "hot" and "not" that I just don't understand.


----------



## android654

milti said:


> I'm just really curious - do you have folders in your head saying "attractive" and "ew no" about the girls you see?


When I'm out and about there are people who make me go, "Oh, she's attractive," and there are others who make me go, "she's not." It doesn't get much deeper than that if I'm just people watching while I'm out doing other stuff.



> What I mean is, is there a generally accepted "attractive" type and a "repulsive" type?
> 
> I'm asking because among the guys *I *know, at least, their ideas of what makes a woman attractive and what doesn't are quite different from what the western media leads us to believe. Also, among my guy friends, some girls we know are generally considered attractive by all of them, so apparently there's definite categories of "hot" and "not" that I just don't understand.


Between me and my friends we only seem to agree on broad things about women when discussing what is and isn't attractive. The more specific things get the further apart we drift. So in the broadest of terms do we find common ground on what is attractive, but when it comes to "hot" we disagree quite a bit.


----------



## searcheagle

milti said:


> I'm just really curious - do you have folders in your head saying "attractive" and "ew no" about the girls you see? What I mean is, is there a generally accepted "attractive" type and a "repulsive" type?


I'm not sure what you mean by "folders." They must be in Mitt Romney's Binders. :tongue:

So, I'll answer what you think you are asking.

I heard a statistic that men could be attracted physically to 80% of women. What that means is that if you separate a woman's personality and other essential criteria from body, men could be attracted to 80% women in their dating window. And with women, the figure is more like they could be attracted to 20% of men physically. Fortunately, women's criteria aren't very stable and various women have a taste for everything! :tongue: 


Since the attraction is ~80% of women, men can be attracted to a wide array of women physically and can have many ideas of a beautiful woman. IMO, at least.




> I'm asking because among the guys *I *know, at least, their ideas of what makes a woman attractive and what doesn't are quite different from what the western media leads us to believe. Also, among my guy friends, some girls we know are generally considered attractive by all of them, so apparently there's definite categories of "hot" and "not" that I just don't understand.


I think the answer above covers this too. Most men won't turn down an SI supermodel, aka media's ideal woman but will also find other types of women (curvy, slender, average) attractive too.


----------



## wiarumas

milti said:


> I'm just really curious - do you have folders in your head saying "attractive" and "ew no" about the girls you see? What I mean is, is there a generally accepted "attractive" type and a "repulsive" type?
> 
> I'm asking because among the guys *I *know, at least, their ideas of what makes a woman attractive and what doesn't are quite different from what the western media leads us to believe. Also, among my guy friends, some girls we know are generally considered attractive by all of them, so apparently there's definite categories of "hot" and "not" that I just don't understand.


I generally know if I find someone attractive upon seeing them but its not a yes/no folder based on cookie cutter descriptions. There are a million ways a woman could be attractive to me and a million to be unattractive. And yes you are right, they can be unconventional. No, there would not be a generally accepted attractive and repulsive type, but there could be certain traits that a majority of men do not like (and do like). 

There's different types of attractive too. There are niche interests, certain ethnicities or features a certain person likes, exotic vs traditional, varying levels of innocent/cute and slutty/sexy (as in a person you want to bring home to the parents vs not), and then there are universal features that almost every male seem to like. This isn't mentioning the confidence or how the woman pulls off the package as a whole. 

I know this is just touching the surface so if you have any follow up questions, feel free to ask.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

milti said:


> I'm just really curious - do you have folders in your head saying "attractive" and "ew no" about the girls you see? What I mean is, is there a generally accepted "attractive" type and a "repulsive" type?
> 
> I'm asking because among the guys *I *know, at least, their ideas of what makes a woman attractive and what doesn't are quite different from what the western media leads us to believe. Also, among my guy friends, some girls we know are generally considered attractive by all of them, so apparently there's definite categories of "hot" and "not" that I just don't understand.


I think there are some women where it's hard to imagine them being in the "ew no" folder, some where it's hard to imagine them being in the "attractive" folder, and most that can switch. There are women I didn't notice as attractive because they dressed down. So when I saw them under different circumstances in a different environment I saw them differently. There's also a significant difference with some women when they go from a fun-loving mood with a smile, to a hostile mood and evil eyes. Also I'm in different moods so one day I might find one less attractive, and a week alter in a different mindset find her very attractive.

A lot of variables.


----------



## milti

HonestAndTrue said:


> I think there are some women where it's hard to imagine them being in the "ew no" folder, some where it's hard to imagine them being in the "attractive" folder, and most that can switch. There are women I didn't notice as attractive because they dressed down. So when I saw them under different circumstances in a different environment I saw them differently. There's also a significant difference with some women when they go from a fun-loving mood with a smile, to a hostile mood and evil eyes. Also I'm in different moods so one day I might find one less attractive, and a week alter in a different mindset find her very attractive.
> 
> A lot of variables.


I think that's how people see me. Usually I'm - er - dressed down. Tshirt, jeans, no makeup, no fuss, hair in a mess (lol). Then they see me dressed up at some occasion and they're like "you look good!"

I wish I knew which I was. :crying:


----------



## Huxleic

Is it common for men to feel emasculated by sexually forward women? 

I'm told men prefer passive girls who let them do all the seduction, and that men don't like it when women want sex before they do, or more often than they do, or harder or kinkier than they do. I was told that men feel threatened by it and they don't know how to deal with it. How true is this?


----------



## Conclusion

HonestAndTrue said:


> Okay. I'll ask that question then.
> 
> What clear right of passage, initiation event, resulted in both the killing of the boy and the new appearance of being a man? Where you were, what happened, who you were with, what age you were, and anything else to describe that specific moment where the boy died and the man drew his first breath?


Honest answer. I personally don't recognize the authority of any clear rites of passage, or initiation events, over whether or not I am a man. Ultimately I don't think you need to "kill the boy" exactly, or that the man needs to make a "new appearance." I don't think I need to describe any specific moments, and I don't think anybody else gets to tell me whether or not I've become one. I claim it myself, and what's more I claim that I am free to do so, as is everyone else. 

And yet perhaps I see what you're saying. I guess it would be nice if someone gave me a clear indication that I was entitled to it. Maybe we really do owe one another that, as a society. Cleaner boundaries between these social roles, more assistance transferring ourselves between them. And yet the way things are now, we don't provide that to one another, do we? So fair enough. I'll make do.


----------



## devoid

Have you ever cried because somebody else was sad?


----------



## android654

Huxleic said:


> Is it common for men to feel emasculated by sexually forward women?


I don't know what's considered common amongst men, but I don't.



> I'm told men prefer passive girls who let them do all the seduction, and that men don't like it when women want sex before they do, or more often than they do, or harder or kinkier than they do. I was told that men feel threatened by it and they don't know how to deal with it. How true is this?


I think the kind of person that's threatened by that is someone who isn't well versed in communicating with women. If someone's being forward with me, looking for sex, I'm just glad they did most of the work and we can get past the bullshit faster. It also makes it a little more clear as to what they're looking for, limiting the amount of egg shells you have to walk on in fear of sending out the wrong message.



devoid said:


> Have you ever cried because somebody else was sad?


No. My empathy doesn't work that way, nor am I that sappy.


----------



## Meirsho

devoid said:


> Have you ever cried because somebody else was sad?


well a very close person to me fell into some deep medical shit and her life comletley changed and she was a mess and in pain and lonley in the begining and i felt so bad cause i tried my best to be there for her but i felt hopless and she had to do it on her own,so yes i cried once at the start...now shes doing much better


----------



## HonestAndTrue

@_KindOfBlue06_ Barnes & Noble had both, Wild At Heart and Iron John. Got some reading to do..

@_android654_ Yes, to authentically answer the question you'd need to know the answer, and you'd only know the answer by being a man. I haven't read these books yet, but yes it can be described and only a man can teach a boy to be a man. I'm still learning the details though.

@_Conclusion_ I'm sure there's cases where boys have solid fathers in their life and what it is to be a man is clearly passed from father to son. I have brothers that are 16 and 19 years older than I am. From my vantage point one of them is a man, and one still remains a boy. And the boy is not the single one, but the one married with three kids.

@_Huxleic_ *Is it common for men to feel emasculated by sexually forward women? 
*I'd say boys are allowed to pretend to be men by sexually forward women. I pretended. I'd say for a masculine man a sexually forward woman will not phase him, nor will any woman. For a real man he remains leading, even if the seuxally forward women asked would say she is leading. The more I'm learning real men aren't threatened by women, but this doesn't mean a man will change his pace or compete with a woman. Watching some decades old film clips the sexually forward women try to influence the man but it has no effect, to the woman's disappointment.

@_devoid_ *Have you ever cried because somebody else was sad? 
*Yes. Usually after I've left their presence. In their presence I try to be a rock allowing them to cry. Then when I leave even in the car I'll cry and let go of what I absorbed from them. For years I used to absorbed it and supress it so it remained in me. Today I externalize it swiftly.


----------



## android654

HonestAndTrue said:


> @_android654_ Yes, to authentically answer the question you'd need to know the answer, and you'd only know the answer by being a man. I haven't read these books yet, but yes it can be described and only a man can teach a boy to be a man. I'm still learning the details though.


And you have the answer to the age of question of manhood from a how-to book? Okay... Ignoring the fact that the notion of a "real man" is about as illusory as the concept of being a "real woman," and the definitions to either one hinges upon every person's interpretation of the word since there is no real definition of it outside of the biological one, it would not be something you could learn from a book. It would be something that you could only learn through the experiences in your own life, not through the second hand tales from a book. 

Still, if you think this is an actual answer with an actual question have fun looking, just don't be surprised if you find yourself looking for a long time.


----------



## carlaviii

HonestAndTrue said:


> Basically society being feminized. To be a man is to be sexist, punished, and trained out of him so he is more like a woman, or returns to being a boy again. And then everyone asks where the men are. Well, the men have been prevented from, or trained not to be, men.


Just IMO: 

Society has been _infantalized_, because we are all easier to control (government) and milk of our hard-earned money (corporations) that way. 

Gender has nothing to do with it.


----------



## 7rr7s

HonestAndTrue said:


> I've never much been a reader of books. I made a resolution this year to read 12 books, one a month, and so far I'm not doing so good. What I have been reading is articles and commentary as well as watching videos of rights of passage and initiation rights from boy to man. Boys and girls trained separately to one day become men and women. How the Western institutional, governmental, and both sexes together prevents development of boys. Prevents boys learning what it is to be a man, as many manly things cannot be taught or acted out in the presence of women. How there is no space for the boy to transition into a man. And then when he transitions there is no space for him to act out being a man absent the presence of women. Basically society being feminized. To be a man is to be sexist, punished, and trained out of him so he is more like a woman, or returns to being a boy again. And then everyone asks where the men are. Well, the men have been prevented from, or trained not to be, men.
> 
> Two of those, Wild At Heart and Iron John I've seen as recommended reading more than once. Looks like Wild At Heart is in stock at the nearest Barnes & Noble, so I'll see about picking that up today.
> 
> Thanks.


Being a man was a lot more defined before the modern era. Today there are so many ideas of what makes a man, but I think there is a general underlying essence, which is expressed through various modes of masculinity. Overall, I think it has more to do with a transition from the child psychology of the boy to the more grounded mature adult psychology of the man, rather than feminization of males in western society, although that does play a part in it as well. 



HonestAndTrue said:


> Okay. I'll ask that question then.
> 
> What clear right of passage, initiation event, resulted in both the killing of the boy and the new appearance of being a man? Where you were, what happened, who you were with, what age you were, and anything else to describe that specific moment where the boy died and the man drew his first breath?


True, ritual initiations are pretty much non existent outside of surviving tribal cultures today. The closest thing modern society has to those sorts of initiations for men are the military, and gang initiations. While mine may have been only a pseudo initiation like the ones I've described, it was still something that shaped me in a profound way. I'll share my experience:

I went through a very dark couple of years, dealing with depression, a car accident, jail time, probation, work, family, school stress, and lots of questions about identity and where I was going in life. Well at the end of it, when I put it all behind me, I sat for a long time thinking about everything I had gone through. Some part of me had died, that I'll never get back. But in the dark womb of those years there was another part of me being born; a stronger, fiercer self. I knew I was a different person than the one they pulled out of that car, on the cusp of June, and that was the first time I really started to believe in myself as a person and as a Man. There was a great fire, a great incandescence awakened in me. It's a strength I never fully tapped into prior to that.




Huxleic said:


> Is it common for men to feel emasculated by sexually forward women?
> 
> I'm told men prefer passive girls who let them do all the seduction, and that men don't like it when women want sex before they do, or more often than they do, or harder or kinkier than they do. I was told that men feel threatened by it and they don't know how to deal with it. How true is this?


I hope that's not a common thing. I like direct, forward women and sex is a team sport anyways so it makes no sense for a man or a woman to do ALL the seduction. I don't mind if a woman wants sex more often, has a higher sex drive, or is kinkier than me either. I view all of those things as natural and positive. If a man feels threatened by that, there's probably deeper issues going on that he should work on. 



devoid said:


> Have you ever cried because somebody else was sad?


It might make me feel sad knowing that they are having a rough time of things, as I've suffered from depression and know how dark it can get, but I've never cried over it. Even at funerals, I hold back tears because I hate crying in front of people, and I want to be strong for them in their time of grief. 



carlaviii said:


> Just IMO:
> 
> Society has been _infantalized_, because we are all easier to control (government) and milk of our hard-earned money (corporations) that way.
> 
> Gender has nothing to do with it.


Preach, carlaviii preach!


----------



## wiarumas

Meirsho said:


> i'm intrested to know how many men here do manicure? do you plan on doing it some day?
> how manly are you from 1-10 in your opinon? (10 - very manly)


Never. Waste of money in my opinion for me personally. 

0-10, 10 being a stereotypical man, probably a 7.


----------



## wiarumas

roughestimate said:


> "You'll never let anyone love you."
> 
> I've never been in a half-way serious relationship without hearing these words after I break it off. I've never been in a serious relationship, at all, if the question's left to me. I can't show you mine until you show me yours is kind of my mentality toward relationships. I know I'm COMPLETELY capable of being a functioning and committed member of a relationship, so I'm not the one on trial. Men are fickle, I know this, and so I'm not going to open my doors until I've been shown some beautiful act of "different". There's absolutely no sense in being some human flea-market, right?
> Again, I find men fickle and I'm not going to open my doors for someone who'll steal all my silver or something.
> 
> I'm playing for keeps or I'm not playing.
> 
> If months go by and I'm not feeling an emotional usb cable reaching for me, I leave. That isn't crazy, that's avoiding time wasted.
> I'm a human being and the affection is a staple, but it isn't something I can't find with someone else.
> So is the initial sentence a way to make me feel inadequate?
> Who says that?
> Of all the things a man could possibly say, why that?
> What would be your reasoning behind saying something like this!?


A relationship is kind of like dancing. If a person is unwilling to dance or isn't feeling it, it ruins it, sometimes prematurely before the song is over. There is nothing wrong in my mind to break up with someone if you aren't feeling it. If it isn't working out, there is no reason to draw things out. The other person may have been under the impression things were going well, but it takes two. So, their spiteful response would be that it's your fault that you didn't reciprocate. 

On the other hand, it could be your fault too. A person who has insecurities, fear of commitment, etc can also be to blame. Judging from your post mentioning of trust issues with men (saying they are fickle, stealing silver?) sounds like you may have difficulty trusting men. This will poison a relationship prematurely. You won't find a healthy relationship until you have settled your own demons. Otherwise they'll resurface in your relationships as a self fulfilling prophecy.


----------



## wiarumas

Huxleic said:


> Great thread-- I find men fascinating so I'll probably read the whole thread tonight  I have some questions of my own to add, sorry if they've already been answered before.
> 
> Do straight men really want to stick it in the pooper? *puke* If no, why is it in so much of the porn around today? :blushed:
> 
> *yes. A lot of men do. I don't know the science behind it, but when horny men just want to stick it anywhere. Any warm, accommodating hole on the female would do. Add in the fact that women can get some pleasure for it, its taboo, and in an interesting enough location is just the icing on the cake. *
> 
> Can men pee with an erection?
> 
> *yes. Slightly more difficult, but all the pipes still work. *
> 
> What does it feel like to live with such massive hands? Do they ever get in the way?
> 
> *not really. You are used to what you have. I do have a tendency to struggle with some things like Saran Wrap, undoing knots, and picking up some things like coins. I feel a bit clumsy with them like my hands aren't as agile as they used to be. Maybe it's because they are bigger. Always just assumed age. *
> 
> What does 'blue balls' feel like?
> 
> *slight cramps from built up pressure. Like you thought you were goin to have a release and then it got backed up. I think it's exaggerated though to guilt trip women. For me personally it's not as bad as its rumored to be. It's nowhere near menstruation cramps. *
> 
> Do men feel strange about competing with women at work or in school or wherever? Do you feel any differently than when you compete with men?
> 
> *no. I don't hold any gender based expectations and discriminations. *


In quote


----------



## wiarumas

Kyandigaru said:


> when do you men know when a girl is marriage material?


When we have a feeling we could be with her for the rest of our lives. That we can't find a better candidate. The word "tolerate" comes to mind because its a long, long road with lots of trials and tribulations. The things that drive you nuts will outshine the positives in the long run so its best to make sure they are minimal.


----------



## wiarumas

HonestAndTrue said:


> Okay. I'll ask that question then.
> 
> What clear right of passage, initiation event, resulted in both the killing of the boy and the new appearance of being a man? Where you were, what happened, who you were with, what age you were, and anything else to describe that specific moment where the boy died and the man drew his first breath?


For me, manhood was a long, consistent change over the course of a decade or two. No single transformation and likewise, no symbol. If I had to say something, a circle. Well rounded and continuous.


----------



## wiarumas

Huxleic said:


> Is it common for men to feel emasculated by sexually forward women?
> 
> I'm told men prefer passive girls who let them do all the seduction, and that men don't like it when women want sex before they do, or more often than they do, or harder or kinkier than they do. I was told that men feel threatened by it and they don't know how to deal with it. How true is this?


There are men and women of all types of preference. Yes, there are lots of men like that but I wouldn't even say its a majority. I personally find it to be a sign of insecurity that their manhood would be threatened. For me, personally, prefer the opposite. At least somewhere in the middle. My ego is strong enough to withstand the bitchiest, most demanding woman, and still plenty leftover to be considered a bit egotistical. It's not a threat as much as it a challenge for me personally. Clash of the titans.


----------



## wiarumas

devoid said:


> Have you ever cried because somebody else was sad?


Yes. When my pap was about to undergo a dangerous surgery and was still lucid and begging for his life. 

And when my wife cried herself to sleep about losing a job.


----------



## Surreal Snake

why are you giving away male secrets


----------



## wiarumas

Surreal Snake said:


> why are you giving away male secrets


Transparency (and to pad post count). Nothing a simple google search cant answer, really. Not that secretive anymore.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

Would any woman know what question to ask to really learn the secrets of a man?


----------



## wiarumas

HonestAndTrue said:


> Would any woman know what question to ask to really learn the secrets of a man?


I'll answer this question with a question. Do men even have any secrets big enough to provide a revalation to women? Maybe some of the older/experienced women can attest to it, but that's probably our biggest secret - there really isn't any profound mystery about men. 

I thought my answer about blue balls was one of our biggest secrets so far which isn't saying much.


----------



## Meirsho

ok.simple yes-no 
Q1:do you think you are sexy?
Q2:do you bend the truth?
Q3:do you feal buffed up in a manly way after answering questions here?


----------



## wiarumas

Meirsho said:


> ok.simple yes-no
> Q1:do you think you are sexy? *yes*
> Q2:do you bend the truth? *yes*
> Q3:do you feal buffed up in a manly way after answering questions here?*no*


In quote


----------



## android654

Meirsho said:


> ok.simple yes-no
> Q1:do you think you are sexy?


Sometimes.



> Q2:do you bend the truth?


Sometimes.



> Q3:do you feal buffed up in a manly way after answering questions here?


Nope.




HonestAndTrue said:


> Would any woman know what question to ask to really learn the secrets of a man?


If anyone can learn all of your secrets with one question, then you didn't have anything worth keeping secret.


----------



## TWN

HonestAndTrue said:


> Would any woman know what question to ask to really learn the secrets of a man?



We dont have secrets of any kind. (Other than the fact that we do disgusting things when other people arent looking, and dont always flush.)

Thats just bait that self-help gurus use to reel desperate women into buying their books and attending their retreats and conferences.

You do realize that...we're all people, right? Men and women are both human.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

wiarumas said:


> Do men even have any secrets big enough to provide a revalation to women?


Yes.



Meirsho said:


> ok.simple yes-no
> Q1:do you think you are sexy?
> Q2:do you bend the truth?
> Q3:do you feal buffed up in a manly way after answering questions here?


1. Inside of myself: Yes. Outside of myself: No. Inside of a woman: Yes.
2. No. It is impossible to bend the truth.

* *











3. Yes. When I bring something that no one else does.



android654 said:


> If anyone can learn all of your secrets with one question, then you didn't have anything worth keeping secret.


Or, you shouldn't have used the same password on every account.


----------



## Meirsho

damn matrix!


----------



## TWN

Enfpleasantly said:


> Follow up question to my last question:
> 
> Do you think maybe when a SO does this, she feels slightly threatened? Like maybe she doesn't want you to think those girls are prettier than she is?
> 
> Another question:
> 
> When you see a hot girl, do you picture her naked? Do you imagine effing her?


Ill apply these question to myself.

I dont think an intelligent guy is crazy enough to be with that type of person. (Referring to your first question)

I'd had a Significant other in the past that didnt like the fact that my male friends seemed... perfect, but it never got into being jealousy.

I know he felt threatened, and I didnt care at the time. For him, the frustration never came from him not wanting me to like other men, he just didnt want me to like a *specific man*.


When I see a hot piece of ass I:

1) Check out his height
2)Check out his hands
3)Stare at his crotch hoping that I will eventually develop some kind of x-ray vision.
4)Spend 4 seconds thinking about which positions Id like to fuck him in.

So, yeah.


----------



## TWN

milti said:


> I'm just really curious - do you have folders in your head saying "attractive" and "ew no" about the girls you see? What I mean is, is there a generally accepted "attractive" type and a "repulsive" type?
> 
> I'm asking because among the guys *I *know, at least, their ideas of what makes a woman attractive and what doesn't are quite different from what the western media leads us to believe. Also, among my guy friends, some girls we know are generally considered attractive by all of them, so apparently there's definite categories of "hot" and "not" that I just don't understand.



What the "bros" dont tell women is, there arent that many categories or types.

There is a "will fuck" section, and a "will not fuck section". Most women on the planet are in the former.

There is a baseline for every guy, or a point that they will never go under, and we ALL have preferences but there is not a category for every type of person we'd like to fuck.

If his minimum is a 5 on a scale from 1-10, and YOU are an 8, you will go into the "will fuck" category.

Men dont assign special labels to every girl. Thats some middle-school shit.

Most guys honestly dont notice women that they dont want to fuck. They dont spend their days thinking "shes a four, I would never do her, shes ugly, shes too fat, ew, ugh, omigah my eyes hurt"; *Unless you happen to legitimately look like some weird mystical creature.* But thats not usually the case.


And also, if we meet someone that matches our preferences, perfectly, we will fuck them/be with them even if they are lacking in other departments.


----------



## TWN

Kind of sad that most of these questions seem to not be about manhood, but women inquiring about how straight men feel about straight women.

So here's one for all of us:

*Do you have the typical/stereotypical "male/man" sex-drive(Want sex all day, everyday)**? **

If so, have you had moments where you struggled to turn down sex that was offered to you? 

Do you feel the need to fuck everything that moves? 

*
My answers:

*1)* I do. But Its not entirely like everyone else. I can go awhile without sex, but when I come up for air I slowly begin to notice that Ive been too long without it. Then, explosion.

*2)* Ive only ever turned down sex that was offered on a silver platter once; it was because I had worked 7 days straight and was tired. I still to this day regret not fucking that guy. He's almost like the one who got away.

*3)* I dont need to fuck everything, and have no desire to. If I see something I like, I want it.


----------



## Huxleic

Sensation-wise, what's the best position for guys?

For girls I figure it's doggy. At least, that's what feels best to me and my friends.


----------



## android654

TWN said:


> We dont have secrets of any kind. (Other than the fact that we do disgusting things when other people arent looking, and dont always flush.)
> 
> Thats just bait that self-help gurus use to reel desperate women into buying their books and attending their retreats and conferences.
> 
> You do realize that...we're all people, right? Men and women are both human.


I'll never cease to be amused at how there's an industry entirely devoted to preying on people's insecurities and they willingly pay money to be told how bad they are at being people.



TWN said:


> Kind of sad that most of these questions seem to not be about manhood, but women inquiring about how straight men feel about straight women.
> 
> So here's one for all of us:
> 
> *Do you have the typical/stereotypical "male/man" sex-drive(Want sex all day, everyday)**?*


*

*Yeah, I need something daily. In most cases twice at least, otherwise I have a massive amount of pent up energy without enough places to direct it.

*



If so, have you had moments where you struggled to turn down sex that was offered to you?

Click to expand...

*The only time I have turned someone down was when she was obviously too into me, so when our paths crossed enough times and sex came up I was already turned off by her as a person to really want it. But I'm a hypocrite and went through with it ultimately, but I don't make a habit of handing out pity fucks.
*



Do you feel the need to fuck everything that moves?

Click to expand...

*Not everything. In order for me to feel as though I *need* to fuck is either when I'm so worked up and need to get some sexual release or she's so gorgeous that I'd label her as perfect. Outside of that I know how to control myself.



Huxleic said:


> Sensation-wise, what's the best position for guys?


I like being ridden, not the dumb bounce that people adopted from porn but when someone knows how to use their hips and move in a direction other than up and down or back and forth.


----------



## wiarumas

TWN said:


> Kind of sad that most of these questions seem to not be about manhood, but women inquiring about how straight men feel about straight women.
> 
> So here's one for all of us:
> 
> Do you have the typical/stereotypical "male/man" sex-drive(Want sex all day, everyday)[/B]*? *
> 
> *i think it's pretty typical. Not sex all day everyday. Not anymore at least. I think once a day or every other day is ideal. If the opportunity presented itself though, I could muster up the interest as much as its offered. *
> 
> If so, have you had moments where you struggled to turn down sex that was offered to you?
> 
> *there has been only one time when I turned it down and it was because I was pissed at them and didn't want to be around her at the time. I suppose I could have had some fun with that but I was trying to prove a point at the time. I forget what it was about though. *
> 
> Do you feel the need to fuck everything that moves?
> 
> *no. I do have standards. While it can be tempting to end some droughts by settling for less, it's sometimes not worth the drama. I learned that one the hard way after some run ins with some batshit crazy girls. It's just not worth the trouble. *
> 
> [/B]
> My answers:
> 
> *1)* I do. But Its not entirely like everyone else. I can go awhile without sex, but when I come up for air I slowly begin to notice that Ive been too long without it. Then, explosion.
> 
> *2)* Ive only ever turned down sex that was offered on a silver platter once; it was because I had worked 7 days straight and was tired. I still to this day regret not fucking that guy. He's almost like the one who got away.
> 
> *3)* I dont need to fuck everything, and have no desire to. If I see something I like, I want it.


In quote


----------



## wiarumas

Huxleic said:


> Sensation-wise, what's the best position for guys?
> 
> For girls I figure it's doggy. At least, that's what feels best to me and my friends.


There really isn't a best for me. As long as its comfortable and can be done for a while, I like it. So nothing crazy like standing up or the wheelbarrow. Those are for novelty. Change is good too. A little bit of riding, some missionary in a variety of leg configurations (over shoulder, spread, folded up, to chest, etc), some doggy style, etc. I like to control, so ideally I like when the girl starts out on top, as its almost like foreplay for me, then I take over.

Also location is important. More places than just the bedroom. To this day one of my favorite places was on an ottoman at this one resort. Perfect height off the ground for a lot of different stuff.


----------



## Huxleic

wiarumas said:


> There really isn't a best for me. As long as its comfortable and can be done for a while, I like it. So nothing crazy like standing up or the wheelbarrow. Those are for novelty. Change is good too. A little bit of riding, some missionary in a variety of leg configurations (over shoulder, spread, folded up, to chest, etc), some doggy style, etc. I like to control, so ideally I like when the girl starts out on top, as its almost like foreplay for me, then I take over.
> 
> Also location is important. More places than just the bedroom. To this day one of my favorite places was on an ottoman at this one resort. Perfect height off the ground for a lot of different stuff.


But the sensations on your penis are exactly the same with all positions? there's not one that hits a particularly sensitive spot nicely or tightens up at just the right depth?


----------



## HonestAndTrue

@wiarumas 

You've got a great thread man. Thanks for creating it.

@_TWN_


* *







TWN said:


> Kind of sad that most of these questions seem to not be about manhood, but women inquiring about how straight men feel about straight women.
> 
> So here's one for all of us:
> 
> *1. Do you have the typical/stereotypical "male/man" sex-drive(Want sex all day, everyday)**? **
> 
> 2. If so, have you had moments where you struggled to turn down sex that was offered to you?
> 
> 3. Do you feel the need to fuck everything that moves?
> *


I wouldn't say that's sad. Looking directly at a man I can't tell that much about him. Now if I see him with his woman, how he interacts and responds to her, I can tell many things about him. In that way I see women reflecting and amplifying men.

1. The stereotypical, yes. Automatically seeing fully dressed women naked as they enter my field of view. These mental images, the touch of a woman on my shoulder to get my attention, spoken or written words that my mind views as metaphorical, innuendo, or direct, even if unintended. I get an erection about a dozen times a day. In the presence of women my mind lacks control. So I get most of my real work done after hours, after all of the women have left for the day, and on the weekends.

I think a real man can take this sex drive, testosterone, this masculine energy and instead of just directing it at sex can re-direct it into other passions. For example when I'm working out, mentally tasking myself, or performing draining physical labor, eventually it changes from something I'm doing alone to a boost. In some cases it's no doubt adrenaline but in other cases it's something else. A desire to own and create and not want to be in control but actually being in control. In the presence of women I can't refocus or be in control.

2. Yes. There was a time in my life I couldn't say no. Followed by a time in my life where I had to cut off all intimate ties with any woman. Followed by my life today where I'm slowly allowing more intimacy as I grow in more self-control.

3. Yes. It's so common though that when I'm walking a meet a woman I see her, imagine her naked, recognize her with a smile and a head bow, and most of the time don't even turn around to view her from the other side. And then after those 3-5 seconds she's gone from my active mind. Ninety nine percent of the time, with the dozens to hundreds of women seen in a day at work, in traffic, restaurant or stores it's automatic and not a matter of effort. But if I had the super powers to stop time AND after I wouldn't remember, it'd be difficult to say no. Thankfully I don't have those super powers.




@_Huxleic_


* *







Huxleic said:


> Sensation-wise, what's the best position for guys?


Reverse missionary. Woman on top. The top of her body doesn't move, and I hug her shoulders pulling her upper body into mine. And then at just the right angle her hips go back and forth. I can remain motionless and put all of my energy into holding on for as long as I can.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Meirsho said:


> i'm intrested to know how many men here do manicure? do you plan on doing it some day?
> how manly are you from 1-10 in your opinon? (10 - very manly)


1) I had friends in middle school do my nails on the bus ride home from a few field trips if that counts
2) Been there done that  ... Maybe as a joke or if I was going to be in costume for something with friends lol ... Otherwise, not plans and no desire too (I'm neither for or against it, but I prefer not to stand out when I am by myself lol)
3) I have no idea lol ... Define manly ... Does turning part of the Dreidel Song to a song about how I touch my penis count as manly :crazy: ... Although I like the one I made about making babies out of sperm more 



roughestimate said:


> "You'll never let anyone love you."
> 
> I've never been in a half-way serious relationship without hearing these words after I break it off. I've never been in a serious relationship, at all, if the question's left to me. I can't show you mine until you show me yours is kind of my mentality toward relationships. I know I'm COMPLETELY capable of being a functioning and committed member of a relationship, so I'm not the one on trial. Men are fickle, I know this, and so I'm not going to open my doors until I've been shown some beautiful act of "different". There's absolutely no sense in being some human flea-market, right?
> Again, I find men fickle and I'm not going to open my doors for someone who'll steal all my silver or something.
> 
> I'm playing for keeps or I'm not playing.
> 
> If months go by and I'm not feeling an emotional usb cable reaching for me, I leave. That isn't crazy, that's avoiding time wasted.
> I'm a human being and the affection is a staple, but it isn't something I can't find with someone else.
> So is the initial sentence a way to make me feel inadequate?
> Who says that?
> Of all the things a man could possibly say, why that?
> What would be your reasoning behind saying something like this!?


It can be ... But I think the initial sentence is more likely to be said out of frustration (given the following paragraphs). How I interpreted your words (which I may have misinterpreted, so please correct me), you sound very guarded and expect the man to completely open up to you first? ... One, I think it is harder for men to open up because feelings are deemed to be "unmanly" (what a silly social norm ... we all have feelings ^__^) ... Two, opening up is a two way street and if you are too guarded with your feelings, can you expect someone else to feel safe sharing their deep feeling with you? If you do, it would not be a reasonable expectation I don't think.
That being said, I get the impression you think all men are the same, which they are not ... and, I get the impression that you have been hurt badly :'( *hugs* ... Whether you have or not, if you would like an internet male (male by sex ... my gender is neutral) friend (just a friend and nothing more) who likes to give lots of internet hugs (only if you want them). Feel free to PM me ^__^ ... The "door" is always open ^__^
*hugs* ^__^
P.S. Even if you "don't let people love you", that does not mean people still don't love you (I don't think that is what it means). I think it means you won't let yourself be vulnerable for someone ... or at least you won't be vulnerable around him (you certainly don't have to be, but, personally, I would not stay in a romantic relationship with someone who did not trust me enough to be vulnerable in front of me ... I think I might even feel a little hurt by it *hugs*) ... Oh, btw, the feelings you shared in your post makes you seem HUGGABLE!!!!!! *hugs* ^__^
I'm sorry if I was too honest




Huxleic said:


> Great thread-- I find men fascinating so I'll probably read the whole thread tonight  I have some questions of my own to add, sorry if they've already been answered before.


Thank You :blushed:

Also ... You're avatar is so Cuuuute ... Can I piggy nap it ^__^ ... It is such a cute little piggy *snuggle snuggle snuggle with your avatar* ^__^









*Do straight men really want to stick it in the pooper? *puke* If no, why is it in so much of the porn around today? :blushed:*
Some Do ... Personally I'm not interested in the poop-chute boogie  lol Seriously, I don't want anal sex ... I might be willing to try it if my partner really wants to, but not something I would suggest

*Can men pee with an erection? *
Yes ... but I won't pee standing up in those cases lol 

*What does it feel like to live with such massive hands? Do they ever get in the way?*
Um idk (does massive mean muscular? cause my hands have muscles and possibly thicker bones, but I think they are average sized) ... and no, they don't

*What does 'blue balls' feel like? *
So, I used to date this woman in that I had to take a bouncy subway to get to ... anyway, I was on my way back and my balls were blue lol ... It hurt to walk back (I may have waddled a tiny bit ) and there were no seats on the subway, so I spent the whole ride feeling sharp little pains lol ... from all the swaying and bouncing lol ... and then it hurt on the walk back 
I've had times where I felt a knot in my stomach and I felt hungry, although food only made it worse ... 
And, for me, it doesn't go away until sometimes after I masturbate (maybe an hour or so ... but it dulls down a lot after I do) or if I sleep (but if I don't masturbate, it eventually comes back the next day too lol
It is really annoying dealing with blue balls when family is around ... because you don't want to walk, stand, or move ... but they try to get you to move and you can't say why you can't ... so you have to suffer in silence lol

*Do men feel strange about competing with women at work or in school or wherever? Do you feel any differently than when you compete with men?*

Maybe in High school??? ... But no, not any more ... although I don't have to compete with others as much and I'm not a very competitive person anymore



Kyandigaru said:


> when do you men know when a girl is marriage material?


I have no idea lol .... I suppose if I fall in love with her and it seems we are compatible and we can work together, then their should be some potential ... but I don't know yet ... sorry





Note to self: My browser is acting up, but I will be back
I left off Here: http://personalitycafe.com/sex-relationships/124962-im-man-ask-me-anything-135.html#post3363302


----------



## Huxleic

*piggy snuggles* :kitteh:


----------



## Huxleic




----------



## Mr. Meepers

HonestAndTrue said:


> I'm been reading about the journey from being a boy to being a man. Two parts of becoming a man are discovering one's symbol and discovering one's story. A symbol, what represents the new man. A story, what the life journey will be for the new man. And then the new man lives out his story.
> 
> Men:
> 
> What is your symbol?
> 
> What story do you belong to?


Um ... idk ... A smile is my symbol  ... and my story would be from when I was at my most depressed and I had an epiphany that I can make me happy and that I don't need someone else ... and I think that gave me the ability to go from limerence and a much more selfish "love" to no longer feeling I need them and having more room for selfless love ... Letting others be more free and becoming more and more independent on myself, but doing my best to open up and share stories of my pain and share my love to help others.

I suppose that is my symbol and story ... although I have no idea what you are talking about lol



Conclusion said:


> *glances left*
> 
> *glances right*
> 
> *tentatively raises hand*


*lowers your hands*
*In a loud whisper* Keep it down. *They *might see you.

Oh God, they're after me
*runs away*
:tongue::crazy:



HonestAndTrue said:


> Okay. I'll ask that question then.
> 
> What clear right of passage, initiation event, resulted in both the killing of the boy and the new appearance of being a man? Where you were, what happened, who you were with, what age you were, and anything else to describe that specific moment where the boy died and the man drew his first breath?


I don't know if there was a clear right of passage ... there were gradual changes and some major ones ... And I still have changes to make ... I hope I always have room to grow into a wiser, more compassionate person.

That being said, I also don't want to completely kill off the boy either. The curiosity, the acceptance without question (even if it was from ignorance of social norms), the just do it attitude without fear of getting hurt ... Not that I always want to be like that, but from time to time. ... It helps when I need to relate to children :tongue:
@HonestAndTrue, clearly there are things that you and I don't see eye to eye with lol (certain thread *cough cough* lol), but you have a boyish charm about you. And I like that ^__^
I don't think it is about killing off the boy or killing off a part of yourself so much as becoming more responsible and dependable ... and becoming wiser and experiencing growth ... becoming emotionally stronger and finding your role in the world and and not just fulfilling your responsibilities, but, maybe finding new responsibilities that you embrace and doing more than just what you have to do, and doing more than you need to do, but doing what is needed that you can and want to do to fix problems and/or improve the world around you (giving back)
Idk lol ... I was just letting my brain go on cruise control and seeing where it took me lol

Note: On that whole seeing eye to eye thing ... I was talking about becoming an adult, since I am not a big fan of gender roles ... as far as "becoming a man/woman/adult", to some extent, each person has to define that on their own as we are all different and those differences are beautiful and gives our world so much more depth and breath ... There is great value in our differences, in terms of personality, I think ^__^

Edit After reading some posts: Just to be clear, I dislike the terms "real" man or "real" woman as no one can take away your gender identity, but, if you wish to use the term "mature" and not have separate gender roles for it, my Fi is completely okay with that lol



Huxleic said:


> Is it common for men to feel emasculated by sexually forward women?
> 
> I'm told men prefer passive girls who let them do all the seduction, and that men don't like it when women want sex before they do, or more often than they do, or harder or kinkier than they do. I was told that men feel threatened by it and they don't know how to deal with it. How true is this?


All men are different just like how all women are different ^__^
Personally, I can be shy sometimes lol, so I like when a woman is more forward and I can flirt with her ... and I love when a woman is a sexual tease too :wink: ... Also, I might be a tad submissive in bed :blushed:, so the forwardness (if done right) may play to a slight fetish I have lol 
I don't mind kinkier if she does not expect me to do anything I am uncomfortable doing

That being said, I'm not very experienced lol



devoid said:


> Have you ever cried because somebody else was sad?


Um, I think so ... I have definitely had very watery eyes and I usually try not to cry  ... I think the last time I was semi-detached, but my eyes were still watery lol



Surreal Snake said:


> why are you giving away male secrets


Because the male secret factory needed a challenge, so now it has to create lots and lots of secrets in a really short time :crazy:
Also, the secrets seemed to easy to keep ... better challenge would be to just give them away :crazy: ... that is how secrets work right??? :crazy::crazy::crazy: 

//jk



HonestAndTrue said:


> Would any woman know what question to ask to really learn the secrets of a man?


What are all your secrets? :tongue::crazy::tongue::crazy::tongue: ... Be *Honest and Truth*-ful now :tongue:

[HR][/HR]
Note To Self: This Post is Long Enough ... Return Here young Jedi  : http://personalitycafe.com/sex-relationships/124962-im-man-ask-me-anything-139.html#post3368656


----------



## 7rr7s

Surreal Snake said:


> why are you giving away male secrets


I haven't revealed anything groundbreaking yet. 



HonestAndTrue said:


> Would any woman know what question to ask to really learn the secrets of a man?


If you have to ask, you'll never know. 



Meirsho said:


> ok.simple yes-no
> Q1:do you think you are sexy?
> *I know it.*
> Q2:do you bend the truth?
> *Sometimes.*
> Q3:do you feal buffed up in a manly way after answering questions here?


Not really. 



TWN said:


> Kind of sad that most of these questions seem to not be about manhood, but women inquiring about how straight men feel about straight women.
> 
> So here's one for all of us:
> 
> *Do you have the typical/stereotypical "male/man" sex-drive(Want sex all day, everyday)**? **
> 
> If so, have you had moments where you struggled to turn down sex that was offered to you?
> 
> Do you feel the need to fuck everything that moves?
> 
> **1. Yeah, mine is pretty high.
> 
> 2. I've turned down sex before because I was all sexed out. We had been fucking nonstop all day, and my cock felt like a wet noodle. The only other times I've turned it down was because it was my friend's ex girlfriend, and one time when I was running late for work.
> 
> 3. Not everything. *





Huxleic said:


> Sensation-wise, what's the best position for guys?
> 
> For girls I figure it's doggy. At least, that's what feels best to me and my friends.


It's different for every guy, but for me missionary really gets me off sensation wise, although my favorite would probably doggy style.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Here I thought I was catching up ... and then the thread leaves me behind in the dust again :'(



Meirsho said:


> ok.simple yes-no
> Q1:do you think you are sexy?
> Q2:do you bend the truth?
> Q3:do you feal buffed up in a manly way after answering questions here?


1) I *am* sexy ... and I know it

* *











If you're sexy and you know it, take off your clothes.
If you're sexy and you know it, take off your clothes.
If you're sexy and you know it and you really wanna show it,
If you're sexy and you know it, take off your clothes.

Okay, um um um ... I am sexy ... but in no way, shape, or form do I know that I am *keeps clothes on* <.< >.> <.< *runs away* 

2) Well duh, I am a robot, I bend everything








3) *answers in a fake manly voice* Yeah, gar Manly
*Flexes and stays flexed* Gaaaaaaarrrr*
*stops acting manly and is back to normal*
Ouch, it hurts to be manly :tongue:




TWN said:


> *Do you have the typical/stereotypical "male/man" sex-drive(Want sex all day, everyday)**? **
> 
> If so, have you had moments where you struggled to turn down sex that was offered to you?
> 
> Do you feel the need to fuck everything that moves?
> *


I think these are new questions ^__^
1) Well, I do like to masturbate once a day or once every other day, so I suppose I do. ... I don't want to have sex 24-7, except when I am hanging around an SO that I feel a deep emotional connection too. ... Then her existence seems to be a turn on for me :tongue:
Also, I am usually not horny after I masturbate, so 99% of the time I don't want sex for the part of the day after that (although sometimes I do ... I used to masturbate once in the morning and once at night years ago ... and with an SO I really like, even if I am not horny I am physical with my affection and that can sometimes lead to me eventually becoming horney again :tongue
2) I'm not sure I'm out going enough to had many opportunities to turn sex down  ... The closest I suppose would be my first real girlfriend (I don't think 5th grade counts lol) did not want to have sex or oral sex until marriage (hand jobs were okay though). ... There were two times that she started to give me oral (in the middle of a hand job). She was really good considering she had never done it before. ... Anyway, my breath became very heavy and it was kind of hard to talk lol and both times I had to ask her to stop because I knew she would regret it. ... Both times, I remember thinking that I didn't want her to stop lol, but I also knew her feelings about it, so it did not feel right letting her continue 

3) See that tree swaying in the breeze ... it gives me wood :laughing::tongue:
Nah, I don't actually want to have sex with everything that moves lol
Really, I just want the emotional intimacy from sex, so, when I am lonely, I do want sex and I may be more willing to have it ... considering my first experience, I'm not sure I could really enjoy it if I don't trust the person on some level ... It took me a while before I could even cum in front of a woman that I am close to lol (although, I probably don't have that problem anymore lol ... but I really want an emotional connection from sex or sexual activities and I'm not sure I would be a good candidate for just hooking up with people I don't know ... I don't think I would feel comfortable and my silly emotions would probably prevent me from keeping the feeling of casual)




Huxleic said:


> Sensation-wise, what's the best position for guys?
> 
> For girls I figure it's doggy. At least, that's what feels best to me and my friends.


I have no clue ... I am too inexperienced  lol

But I suppose any position where I could feel her hands around me and she could whisper certain things in my ear would be nice :blushed:



Huxleic said:


> *piggy snuggles* :kitteh:


Yay! Oink, Oink! ^__^ :kitteh: ... Your avatar is so cute :kitteh:



Enfpleasantly said:


> Sitting at a red light, you notice an attractive woman in the car next to you, you honk your horn to get her attention, and when she looks, you wave or give her the "eyebrows". Have you ever done this? if so, why? And how old were you?
> 
> Would you rather a person who complements your personality nearly perfectly, but with some obstacles to overcome, or a less compatible person with no obstacles to overcome?


1) No, never had ... Growing up, where I lived, most roads only had one lane per direction and not a lot of stop lights ... and now I live in an urban area, it is not worth the cost to have a car and pay for a parking spot (since I could rent a car for a few hours and these rental car places have special reserved spots on some streets), so I don't drive much ... I just walk and take public transportation if I need to.
............. Also, that is not something I would want to do.
Also ... The eyebrows? lol

-green light
-she moves forward
-I'm drooling at her and making her feel icky and she wants to get away from me
- look at her and not where I am going
- crash
^^ Obvious reason why it is not safe to try to pick up women from other cars (also I made that car crash up, just incase I was not clear)

2) I would the the obstacles ... I think obstacles would help us grow, both as individuals and as a couple, plus she would be a better match for me ... Although, it depends on the obstacle, if she sleep walks and tries to break my bones in her sleep, that might be a bit too much for me lol



WamphyriThrall said:


> I'm not sure if this has been asked before, but what advice would you give to your son (if you don't have one, that's okay) growing up? How would you raise them to match up with your values and follow your words of wisdom? Are there any things you think every father should know and/or do? Finally, how important do you think it is for a boy to have a male role model in his life, and why?


I think everyone needs to find their own values in life (I don't have any kids). ... The core values that I would want to teach would be to try and love as much as you can, try to understand the world and situations before you judge it (and be willing to question yourself), and to do whatever you feel is right ... even if it is hard
I think I would raise them with love and understanding and affection ... and sometimes I would ask them what they think about things and why and try to guide them as I also try to help them think for themselves

As far as a male role-model ... I answered that in another thread and I am feeling extra lazy right now 

* *







Mr. Meepers said:


> I wonder if I can answer this.
> 
> Let's see, I grew up with my my Mom and my sister ... my mother has several times apologized to me for not giving me a "proper male role" model to which I told her she was a great role model and I did not need another, pus I was in boy scouts .... Since my father was manipulative (among other things and I never wanted to be like him lol) and because I wanted to "be a man" (i.e. be like stone lol ... ahhh but I was such a sensitive child lol) I had some emotional trust issues with men (even made worse when I confided something to my best male friend in H.S. and he just told me it was not that bad lol) ...
> 
> So with all that, maybe I can have a unique position on things. ... Now my Mom seems to care that I did not have the chance to learn "man things" like fixing a car and whatnot ... I don't think that is what defines a man (note that I consider myself gender neutral as I don't really care for gender assignments) ... but that is not an issue to me (I'm a big "boy" now, I can teach myself) ... I think she wanted to teach to be "masculine" too, but that is fine ... I taught myself some masculine traits :tongue: ... but there are somethings that I did not have ... I don't think it was a big deal, I managed, but it might of made life a little easier.
> 
> So, when I was at home, my Mom's house, I was the only male ... On a biological sex level I was different and I was aware that I was the only "man" ... and my mom wanted to raise me to be "masculine" (she failed //jk  ... my Mom is a strong woman and I am a lot like my Mom when she was my age apparently lol) and, she did not know how to by herself I don't think ... again, that is fine by me ... but between my Dad and her boyfriend after that, I never really had a close, deep relationship with a man as a kid (and I had one bad relationship with a man) and when you add all the sex stereotypes at school, I had felt a little emotionally distance from males and I kept my pain hidden around most males so that I could be a "tough" "man" ... and even though my Mom might tell me it is okay to cry, I never had a man tell me that ... On an emotional level I had a hard time trusting men lol ... I mean I eventually could trust my peers with my happy emotions, and maybe even some love too, but not of the "weak" emotions lmao
> 
> I suppose I also never had the male equivalent of the period talk ... What would the male equivalent be? The boner talk? ... Wet dream talk?
> 
> Oh ... and I had to teach myself childhood male bonding lol ... it involved rough housing and punches every now and then ... although I had some "friends" take it too far sometimes because I did not feel pain easily and I was easy on them because they were delicate :tongue:
> 
> So, I would say, loving male role models are good for fostering trust with males, they may have more of a "masculine" childhood experience, penis talks to boys (since they know what it is like to have a penis), and helping boys with changes in puberty (such as controlling your new found muscles lol), ... I guess those are the man reasons I could think of


- http://personalitycafe.com/sex-rela...me-lesbian-ask-me-anything-5.html#post3215224






Enfpleasantly said:


> The obstacles I had in mind in my last question were along the lines of let's say...nearly perfect match girl has a dog that tries to bite you all the time, or maybe she lives in an area you can't stand, or maybe you don't like her Parents; while not as compatible girl has a really friendly dog that you like a lot, lives in an area you love, and you like her Parents.
> 
> 
> New question:
> 
> Do you put the toilet seat down? Do you think it's something men should do when they live with a woman or girl in the house?


Everything, but the dog part sounds fine. ... I have a phobia of cute little doggies :kitteh: as it is lol.
Also define bites, because I have notices that when people say their dog is friendly, but bites .. I interpret that as the dog likes to bite into people with the teeth sinking in lol, but they actually mean playful nibbles lol
I think I could deal with playful bites (ones that are not causing my to bleed lol, more like grabbing me), but it would take a lot of time as I have a big phobia. I would totally try, but baby steps would be nice lol.

Um, I leave the seat down when I am done (including the lid) ... I think everyone should put the lid down lol, but yes, I think it should be done even more so when women are it the house (but, if a woman falls it and did not notice the seat was up, I would ask why she did not look before sitting down lol)
[HR][/HR]
Note to self: I want to take a break from this thread ... brb here: http://personalitycafe.com/sex-relationships/124962-im-man-ask-me-anything-142.html#post3372222


----------



## You Sir Name

dizzycactus said:


> i dont see how such a series of circumstances together so rare is at all relevant when talking about general principles.
> however, they did used to have a system to account for that, back when sex almost always lead to pregnancy. it was called marriage, a pre-emptive promise from the man to assist with raising any possible offspring.


divorce

also, those aren't the only circumstances where a woman would be essentially forced to give birth.


----------



## HonestAndTrue

@Enfpleasantly


* *








Enfpleasantly said:


> Sitting at a red light, you notice an attractive woman in the car next to you, you honk your horn to get her attention, and when she looks, you wave or give her the "eyebrows". Have you ever done this? if so, why? And how old were you?
> 
> Would you rather a person who complements your personality nearly perfectly, but with some obstacles to overcome, or a less compatible person with no obstacles to overcome?


I've never honked my horn at a woman. Of course at a red light you sometimes make eye contact. But what am I going to do, get behind her, follow her until she pulls over, and then find the police behind me?

I'd say the one who complements my personality nearly perfectly. I'd actually rephrase that though. It'd be the one that complements me in that it brings about conflict and differences, so that we aren't just comfortable but we have some clear differences for the friction to keep making sparks which will draw us closer together. She'll make those comments that currently take me minutes to think up a response to. Everyday she'll be there, but every day will be an adventure in that a part of her remains unpredictable.




@WamphyriThrall


* *








WamphyriThrall said:


> I'm not sure if this has been asked before, but what advice would you give to your son (if you don't have one, that's okay) growing up? How would you raise them to match up with your values and follow your words of wisdom? Are there any things you think every father should know and/or do? Finally, how important do you think it is for a boy to have a male role model in his life, and why?


I don't have a son but I have five nephews I've watched grow up to between age 7 and 19. 

What advice would you give to your son growing up?

Out of these walls, our home, it is you alone against the world. You are always responsible and accountable for your own actions. You can never take anything back. Start thinking long-term, legacy, your children and grandchildren.

How would you raise them to match up with your values and follow your words of wisdom?

We will see examples of following and not following, both from my life and the life of others. He will have many examples to learn from to either not repeat the same mistake, or to repeat the same success.

Are there any things you think every father should know and/or do?

Should, yes. Every father should be the husband to the mother of his son. This can teach so much to a son.

How important do you think it is for a boy to have a male role model in his life, and why?

It's essential and required. Without a male role model he will remain a boy instead of becoming a man.




@Enfpleasantly


* *








Enfpleasantly said:


> Do you put the toilet seat down? Do you think it's something men should do when they live with a woman or girl in the house?


If it's filling the role of a urinal, then I don't. If I'm flushing the lid goes down. If I'm at someone else's house I'm flushing so the lid goes down. If I'm sharing a toilet then I'm flushing every time, so the lid goes down.




@Mai Valentine


* *








Mai Valentine said:


> Why are men such pigs sometimes?


Men are outside the world.




@Meirsho


* *








Meirsho said:


> and why are women such B**chs sometimes?


Women are inside the world.




@Enfpleasantly


* *








Enfpleasantly said:


> Are you guys mostly saying that you can be pigs, but only with women who allow the behavior? When a woman comes along who doesn't tolerate the "pig" games, she's relationship material while the others are just lays?


So essentially being a pig is a guy testing a girl, just as being a bitch is a girl testing a guy.


----------



## 7rr7s

Enfpleasantly said:


> Sitting at a red light, you notice an attractive woman in the car next to you, you honk your horn to get her attention, and when she looks, you wave or give her the "eyebrows". Have you ever done this? if so, why? And how old were you?
> 
> *No, that is cheesy as hell. I honestly don't get why guys would think that would work at all. Just makes you look pathetic. *
> 
> Would you rather a person who complements your personality nearly perfectly, but with some obstacles to overcome, or a less compatible person with no obstacles to overcome?


Compliments my personality. Any obstacle is an opportunity for growth and bonding. If we can overcome it, it means we can overcome other obstacles and means we are a real power couple. Win win.



WamphyriThrall said:


> I'm not sure if this has been asked before, but what advice would you give to your son (if you don't have one, that's okay) growing up? How would you raise them to match up with your values and follow your words of wisdom? Are there any things you think every father should know and/or do? Finally, how important do you think it is for a boy to have a male role model in his life, and why?


I would teach him self respect, discipline, honor, loyalty, and being true to himself. Even if I disagree, or his friends or society disagrees with him, I'd teach him to follow his heart and to trust and believe in himself. I would tell him how the world will let him down and try to keep him down, but teach him the strength and willpower to overcome it. I would also teach him to love -himself and others.



Enfpleasantly said:


> The obstacles I had in mind in my last question were along the lines of let's say...nearly perfect match girl has a dog that tries to bite you all the time, or maybe she lives in an area you can't stand, or maybe you don't like her Parents; while not as compatible girl has a really friendly dog that you like a lot, lives in an area you love, and you like her Parents.
> 
> New question:
> 
> Do you put the toilet seat down? Do you think it's something men should do when they live with a woman or girl in the house?


Seat down, aim well. Makes for a good challenge, and kind of a game haha. If I miss, I clean it up. In a perfect world every man would put the seat down, and every woman would put the seat up. Then they would get confused. World aint so perfect anymore is it? Point is, just don't be a slob, clean up after yourself. 



Mai Valentine said:


> Why are men such pigs sometimes?


There are plenty of men who are pigs and there are plenty of women who are cunts. I've met my fair share of both. Your sexist presumption don't really help to advance a constructive dialogue. 



Mai Valentine said:


> Not necessarily. For instance, many men put women on birth control, and it is up to the women to take it. If she forgets to take it, then he's fucked.


No, women are adults and make adult decisions whether or not to put themselves on birth control. And no one's stopping them from drinking a fifth and taking a bat to themselves. That's a very brutal, sad and fucked up option, but the point is no one is without choice. They are adults and they make their own choices. 



Mai Valentine said:


> You can't force them, but you damn sure better make sure to check in with her from time to time to make sure she's taking it. Otherwise, you could have a kid on your hands!


It's called being a responsible adult regardless of gender if you don't want a pregnancy scare. 



Mai Valentine said:


> Problem not solved. Many men (especially the player types) are very good at lies and deception. They will tell you literally anything to get in your pants. They look like gentleman on the outside but in reality they are really pigs. If I could always tell the pigs from the good ones your solution would work, but I can't always do this.


I could see getting burned once, by some sleazy player guy, but if this is a common scenario, then you need to reevaluate how you're going about finding guys. You might want to look into your expectations as well. Were you expecting something serious while they were expecting a quick lay? Look into that. 



Enfpleasantly said:


> Are you guys mostly saying that you can be pigs, but only with women who allow the behavior? When a woman comes along who doesn't tolerate the "pig" games, she's relationship material while the others are just lays?
> 
> By the way, my question should not be taken with defense; I'm asking it for clarity of the conversation going back and forth here, not to pass judgement.


Any woman who would tolerate "pig behavior" probably has some issues to deal with. But "pig behavior" can be very subjective. To one woman, if a man who she's seeing comes up behind her and feels her up while biting her neck, that would be hot. To another woman that would be too aggressive or unwelcome or degrading. 

With relation to pig games/relationship material I think that would have more to do with a Madonna/whore complex. Sadly this seems to be a common with alot of men.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Mai Valentine said:


> Why are men such pigs sometimes?


Hey, hey, hey ... don't lump us all in the same box lol.
Both men and women are people and people are very diverse. Some are very good, some are very bad, and some try and are confused. Please don't think the majority of men are bad or pigs ... Infact I remember reading a few articles about young "men", today (in America), on average, would rather have a relationship with a deep connection with a woman than a sex only relationship ... I don't think men and women are that different fundamentally, but I do think many societies do create a much bigger divide that there already is (I think as muscular strength, endurance, and what not becomes less and less a privilege to having authority, then we will see men and women being more and more similar if we value seeing people as people first ... I think we are at the stage where we just need to break down these social walls ... My belief is strengthened by this because our brains are thought to be more plastic than we originally realized)


Stanford neuroscientist tackles myths about the brain
The Gender Trap, Part 1 | Ideas with Paul Kennedy | CBC Radio
The Gender Trap, Part 2 | Ideas with Paul Kennedy | CBC Radio

Now, I will assume by "pig" you mean someone who manipulates people to get sex??? (I'm pretty sure you don't mean someone a little chubby, eats a lot, and will say "oink" ... who is also cute ^__^ ... If you are talking about the cute kind of piggy then that is me ^__^  ... If not, then I think most men are *not* pigs)
I think that has to do with a few individuals trying find as many women as they can ... they are not looking for a relationship (but pretend that they are), but by not actually being in long term relationships or feeling committed to the person they are manipulating, they have a lot more free time to hit on women. ... Plus, at some point they are probably experienced at it and very out going (not hesitant) ... those two things combined would allow these "pigs" to meet a lot of woman (probably more than most, but not all, honest men).
I think there are also men who pretend to only want sex as a way to appear "manly", but enforcing the stereotype that men just want sex.

I am reminded of a video @Wellsy shared on one of the INFP threads (I'll be honest, there is a part in the video that is kind of disturbing to hear, so just prepare yourself a bit)





- http://personalitycafe.com/infp-for...-coward-doormat-infp-male-15.html#post3004170



Mai Valentine said:


> I'm a bitch. I will openly admit that with no problem.


I'm not sure what you mean by "bitch", but I just hope you respect and value yourself and realise that you are a valuable person ^__^



Mai Valentine said:


> You can't force them, but you damn sure better make sure to check in with her from time to time to make sure she's taking it. Otherwise, you could have a kid on your hands!


Okay, I believe than any healthy couple should have open and honest discussions about birth control and what is going to happen. ... Now, if one person is going to try and pressure someone into medications they are not comfortable taking (and clearly is not being used to treat some condition), then there is a problem. If that person is going to go even further and "micro-manage" their SO, then they are treating their SO like a child and are being overly controlling ... and the other person, in this case the women, should either put their foot down and say "No, I am an adult" OR get out of that relationship (that does not sound like a healthy relationship to me).



Mai Valentine said:


> Problem not solved. *Many men* (especially the player types) are very good at lies and deception. They will tell you literally anything to get in your pants. They look like gentleman on the outside but in reality they are really pigs. If I could always tell the pigs from the good ones your solution would work, but I can't always do this.


*Some men
I don't think any of the guys her would purposely manipulate a woman to get in her pants (at least I don't think so).
But you do raise a point of "how do you know?" and "Can you know?" ... Is there a certain amount of time before they will probably give up, but a guy who actually is interested in you for you won't? Are there methods to reducing the issue?

Here I can't give you any advice because of my limited experience and because I have only been with friends and friends of friends
*hugs* 



Enfpleasantly said:


> Are you guys mostly saying that you can be pigs, but only with women who allow the behavior? When a woman comes along who doesn't tolerate the "pig" games, she's relationship material while the others are just lays?
> 
> By the way, my question should not be taken with defense; I'm asking it for clarity of the conversation going back and forth here, not to pass judgement.


This is what happens when my and @Ningsta Kitty's cuteness are not here to balance things out :tongue: //jk

O look a super adorable puppy :kitteh: *runs towards it to pet it, runs away for it once he remembers he is afraid of puppies* :tongue: //jk

I would say for some men, yes ... but I think most men have too much integrity to purposely deceive a woman (or man, depending on his sexuality) into sex knowing he falsely gave her hopes for things he never planned to give her.

But that is just me (I know the question was towards the people who already answered lol

[HR][/HR]Yay ^__^ I caught up


----------



## dizzycactus

Enfpleasantly said:


> Question for @_dizzycactus_,
> 
> Are you into lasers? If so, what's the most powerful one you own and what kind of destruction can it do?


sorry went and slept, that thing i do sometimes lol

my most powerful laser is my 1W blue. it can set wood on fire, carve through cd cases, burn people from several feet away while they're not looking 
also have a 500mW green, 100mW cyan argon, 200mW red, 150mW violet, which is still enough to burn things pretty well.


----------



## dizzycactus

You Sir Name said:


> divorce
> 
> also, those aren't the only circumstances where a woman would be essentially forced to give birth.


oh, i know marriage is a terrible idea these days. for many, many reasons. just that it used to work, before society started falling apart. as an intp, i actually find formalised and rigid institutions that inhibit freedom distasteful, but i have to admit, looking at the evidence, that it was necessary for things to function well.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Can you do any "tricks"? For instance, if you were with a group of people, is there anything you can do that might make a person say "watch what he can do...guy, show them that thing you do". 

How do you shave? I've noticed that men and women seem to each have their own technique. Do you use shaving cream? Soap? Just water? Do you use aftershave? 

What's your favorite style of lingerie on a woman?

Do you think high heels are sexy or overkill? 

A lot of men complain about how long it can take a woman to get ready to go somewhere, but wouldn't you say you also appreciate why that is? Or do you think none of it is necessary? 

What female names do you really like? Can a name ruin things for you? Say you found a girl you were really into and she had the most terrible name you've ever heard, would that matter?

Let's say you're having an amazing, deep conversion with a woman, and it's going awesome...pretty much making you feel major oxytocin for her at that moment...what topic of discussion do you think it would be?


----------



## dizzycactus

Enfpleasantly said:


> Can you do any "tricks"? For instance, if you were with a group of people, is there anything you can do that might make a person say "watch what he can do...guy, show them that thing you do".


The closest thing to that would be either solving a rubiks cube in less than a minute, or various laser related things. 



Enfpleasantly said:


> How do you shave? I've noticed that men and women seem to each have their own technique. Do you use shaving cream? Soap? Just water? Do you use aftershave?


I used to just stick some water on and get stuck in with a razor. But I got a trimmer thing for christmas that is both quicker and easier, and gives a nice short stubble. 


Enfpleasantly said:


> What's your favorite style of lingerie on a woman?


 Never really thought about it. just nothing old fashioned really. 


Enfpleasantly said:


> Do you think high heels are sexy or overkill?


 I don't see why women think shoes are important. I don't generally walk around looking at people's shoes. 


Enfpleasantly said:


> A lot of men complain about how long it can take a woman to get ready to go somewhere, but wouldn't you say you also appreciate why that is? Or do you think none of it is necessary?


 They tend to put too much effort into it, but it would still be nice if they put a certain amount of less effort in. Enough to perhaps augment their features, but not so much as they tend to do now. 


Enfpleasantly said:


> What female names do you really like? Can a name ruin things for you? Say you found a girl you were really into and she had the most terrible name you've ever heard, would that matter?


 maybe very slightly. Can't think of many names I really dislike that much though. 


Enfpleasantly said:


> Let's say you're having an amazing, deep conversion with a woman, and it's going awesome...pretty much making you feel major oxytocin for her at that moment...what topic of discussion do you think it would be?


From past experience... the topic has been a little fuzzy. In general, relating to me deeply, and caringly. Like one time when I showed a girl a poem I had written, and she was talking about how vulnerable it makes us feel to show such intimate sides of ourselves, and that it's ok to be vulnerable with her, because she would never reject me... just deep and comforting and validating, I suppose.


----------



## Meirsho

Enfpleasantly said:


> Can you do any "tricks"? For instance, if you were with a group of people, is there anything you can do that might make a person say "watch what he can do...guy, show them that thing you do".
> *yeah! many! it depends on what group of ppl i'm with  *
> How do you shave? I've noticed that men and women seem to each have their own technique. Do you use shaving cream? Soap? Just water? Do you use aftershave?
> *I don't shave  my dad only started at 30^^*
> 
> Do you think high heels are sexy or overkill?
> *depends on who..that's the case with most clothing and accessoires
> *
> A lot of men complain about how long it can take a woman to get ready to go somewhere, but wouldn't you say you also appreciate why that is? Or do you think none of it is necessary?
> *it's important not keep your man waiting tooo long and still prepare yourself inuff *
> What female names do you really like? Can a name ruin things for you? Say you found a girl you were really into and she had the most terrible name you've ever heard, would that matter?
> *if a girl is simply perfect for me- the name can be whatever...but if it's just a friend and has weird name-prepare to be luaghed at ..*
> 
> Let's say you're having an amazing, deep conversion with a woman, and it's going awesome...pretty much making you feel major oxytocin for her at that moment...what topic of discussion do you think it would be?
> *anything  as long and their's a deep connection..*


----------



## android654

Enfpleasantly said:


> Can you do any "tricks"? For instance, if you were with a group of people, is there anything you can do that might make a person say "watch what he can do...guy, show them that thing you do".


I can curse in three languages while maintaining the coherence in the same sentence. Does that count?



> How do you shave? I've noticed that men and women seem to each have their own technique. Do you use shaving cream? Soap? Just water? Do you use aftershave?


I think all the ethnic mixing in my family has made me have the oddest hair displacement of any other person in the world. The hair on my scalp grows incredibly fast but my facial hair grows slowly. I have to shave one a week if that. Took a lot of trial and error to learn not to cut my face up or miss a patch or two.



> What's your favorite style of lingerie on a woman?


I don't care for most of it, it tends to get in the way of it's actual intent. However I don't mind the occasional corset, especially if it's leather.



> Do you think high heels are sexy or overkill?












Meh.






















> A lot of men complain about how long it can take a woman to get ready to go somewhere, but wouldn't you say you also appreciate why that is? Or do you think none of it is necessary?


If you need an hour to get ready to go see a movie or go to a party thrown by a friend then you're putting in too much effort for something most people wont even notice except for other people trying equally as hard to be noticed. Unless its a formal thing I'm getting dragged to I shouldn't need more than 10 or 15 minutes to get myself together and out the door.



> What female names do you really like? Can a name ruin things for you? Say you found a girl you were really into and she had the most terrible name you've ever heard, would that matter?


As long as she doesn't have my mother's or sister's name I'm fine. It also limits how many Russian women I hit on.



> Let's say you're having an amazing, deep conversion with a woman, and it's going awesome...pretty much making you feel major oxytocin for her at that moment...what topic of discussion do you think it would be?


Most likely music, politics, literature, bikes, boxing or film. If anyone knows what they're talking about in those six topics, then we're probably having a good conversation.


----------



## Diphenhydramine

Enfpleasantly said:


> Let's say you're having an amazing, deep conversion with a woman, and it's going awesome...pretty much making you feel major oxytocin for her at that moment...what topic of discussion do you think it would be?


 Pesto.


----------



## Mai Valentine

@KindOfBlue06



> There are plenty of men who are pigs and there are plenty of women who are cunts. I've met my fair share of both. Your sexist presumption don't really help to advance a constructive dialogue.


Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm probably one of those cunts. 


> I could see getting burned once, by some sleazy player guy, but if this is a common scenario, then you need to reevaluate how you're going about finding guys. You might want to look into your expectations as well. Were you expecting something serious while they were expecting a quick lay? Look into that.


Again, you're not a woman, so you wouldn't understand. See some women use guys too, but they use men for money. However, you can usually see those coming, because the girl will continually ask you to buy her expensive things, or to take her to really nice places. However, women can't always see these things coming because so many men will lie to you and tell you that they love you in order to have sex with you, when in real life they're doing like 4 other women on the side.


----------



## Mai Valentine

@Mr. Meepers



> *Some men
> I don't think any of the guys her would purposely manipulate a woman to get in her pants (at least I don't think so).
> But you do raise a point of "how do you know?" and "Can you know?" ... Is there a certain amount of time before they will probably give up, but a guy who actually is interested in you for you won't? Are there methods to reducing the issue?
> 
> Here I can't give you any advice because of my limited experience and because I have only been with friends and friends of friends
> *hugs*


**Hugs back**

Again, I can read most men, but there always the good con artists out there.


----------



## Surreal Snake




----------



## 7rr7s

@Mr. Meepers @Wellsy Interesting video. That is not restricted to inner cities either. I grew up in a nice suburb and I can remember two incidents of somehting like this happening. The one time, I remember I was over at this guys house getting high. I was about 15 at the time, he was 14, and there was a girl there who was 12. She was wearing just her panties and a long T shirt. He told me right in front of her that him and 3 other guys took turns with her the other night, and then he said I could have a go at her if I wanted to and he showed me a back room. I was too fucked up and in shock to even consider it, but I remember her showing me her ass and kind of flirting with me, so I don't know if they raped her or if she was willing. T

The other incident, is when I heard about this girl I went to school with, going to parties with her cousin who was older and ran with a rougher crowd. Apparently she was on all sorts of drugs at some party and she was getting gang banged by 16 guys. From all accounts that I heard, she was fucked up in some backroom, and guys were waiting in line outside the door to have their way with her. We both went to Catholic school and were in 7th grade at the time. 




Mai Valentine said:


> Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm probably one of those cunts.
> 
> *I don't care either way, but I'm curious why you call yourself a cunt. Do you find it empowering, or that by using it you take away the derogatory meaning*, *kind of like black people using the n word? *
> 
> 
> Again, you're not a woman, so you wouldn't understand. See some women use guys too, but they use men for money. However, you can usually see those coming, because the girl will continually ask you to buy her expensive things, or to take her to really nice places. However, women can't always see these things coming because so many men will lie to you and tell you that they love you in order to have sex with you, when in real life they're doing like 4 other women on the side.


Yeah no doubt both sexes use each other in selfish destructive ways. Women use men emotionally sometimes as well. I've heard it said once that men use emotions to get sex from women, and women use sex to get emotions from men. 

As far as knowing what to look for, it can be difficult, but you just have to screen them harder. This is hard as some men will lie though, but a good indicator is if he's constantly pushing for sex, and saying I love you early on. You can kind of feel out a relationship where it's at, and if it seems like he's saying things too early, too fast, in addition for constantly pushing for sex, that's probably a good sign.

Another thing is to check out his place. Does he have alot of condoms lying around? It means he probably has alot of sex, and if you are just dating or seeing each other for the first couple of times, he probably has other women he's talking to as well. Also, you can look for signs of other women as well. Do the sheets smell like perfume? Is there hair that's not yours on the bed, pillows, couch, ect? And of course if you find earings or panties lying around, they're probably not his unless he's into cross dressing. 

Now, that's all fine if he tells you upfront that he's seeing other women, but if he's trying to downplay the number of women he's been with or is seeing, that's a red flag. 

Other good things to look for:

Is he constantly checking out women when you're out in public? Hitting on them even? 

How does he talk about his exes? Negatively? 

Is he constantly going to bars and nightclubs? Drinking and partying are one thing, but chances are he's there to prowl too if he's going to them alot.

Is he constantly trying to impress you? It's alright to have nice things, but if you get the sense that he's trying to use this as a way to get in your pants, that's a different story.

All of those are good things to look for possible red flags to see if he's maybe not the guy he says he is. Hope that helps.


----------



## SoulShield

I've been wondering for years: why do fools fall in love?


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> Can you do any "tricks"? For instance, if you were with a group of people, is there anything you can do that might make a person say "watch what he can do...guy, show them that thing you do".
> 
> *i can do impersonations really well. Especially if the person has an accent or talks in a certain way. My best one is probably gollum from lord of the rings. it freaks people out its so good. I do it a lot to mess with my wife. Also, perverted old man from family guy just to name a couple. *
> 
> How do you shave? I've noticed that men and women seem to each have their own technique. Do you use shaving cream? Soap? Just water? Do you use aftershave?
> 
> *I shave wet in the shower. I used to just shave and fuck up my face. Soap if it was long (poor college habit). But my wife buys me some expensive stuff... Lab series or something like that? Because she knows I won't buy any for myself. I'd recommend it. Great present potential, women. It tightens your skin so your facial hair stands upright for a really close shave. Its sold at sephora.
> *
> What's your favorite style of lingerie on a woman?
> 
> *The sluttier the better. To jump ahead, heels are nice with lingerie too. I like g string, garter belt, see through baby doll, thigh highs, etc. anything is fine really - silk slip or even some fleece/flannel type stuff. But there is no such thing as too scandalous in my opinion. *
> 
> Do you think high heels are sexy or overkill?
> 
> *i like them. Not necessary, wouldn't miss them, but like them. I know its borderline sexist or whatever but the way a woman stands and walks in heels is sexy to me. Also like them in the bedroom. Okay to be left on... The feet don't typically hit the ground/sheets. *
> 
> A lot of men complain about how long it can take a woman to get ready to go somewhere, but wouldn't you say you also appreciate why that is? Or do you think none of it is necessary?
> 
> *its overkill. I rather cut the time in half and her be at 50-75% than take 2-3 hours and be a 100. I like naturally pretty women without a "mask" so it's not like she will look incomplete without agonizing over every little detail. Just throw on a bit of eye stuff, do something easy with your hair and lets be on our way. I understand there is a time and place for dolling up to the extreme, but if its just a dinner and a movie... Plus I know she will look better than 95% of the women with a half assed makeup job. Not too worried about it. *
> 
> What female names do you really like? Can a name ruin things for you? Say you found a girl you were really into and she had the most terrible name you've ever heard, would that matter?
> 
> *never been an issue but I suppose it could. I like pretty, original, non-stripper names. *
> 
> Let's say you're having an amazing, deep conversion with a woman, and it's going awesome...pretty much making you feel major oxytocin for her at that moment...what topic of discussion do you think it would be?
> 
> *shared opinions and perspectives. A sense of connection/compatibility.*


In quote


----------



## 7rr7s

Enfpleasantly said:


> Can you do any "tricks"? For instance, if you were with a group of people, is there anything you can do that might make a person say "watch what he can do...guy, show them that thing you do".
> 
> *I would hate it if my friends said that to me. I would go gladiator mode. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?! XD My tricks, I bust out casually out of the blue.
> 
> My favorite party trick is whenever I see some guy roll up to the party with a guitar, start singing songs and all the girls go "AWWW!" and all the guys are thinking **"You are the biggest cock block in the universe. Dick." Well, once he finishes his song I ask him hey man you mind if I fuck around on that for a sec? I take the guitar, turn it upside down(I'm left handed) and start playing upside down. Improvising. I do this for a minute then give it back and walk away like it aint no big deal. *
> 
> How do you shave? I've noticed that men and women seem to each have their own technique. Do you use shaving cream? Soap? Just water? Do you use aftershave?
> 
> *I don't grow alot of facial hair, so I just use one of those dispensable razors*. *Get it wet, shave a little bit every day for about 30 seconds and I'm good to go.*
> 
> What's your favorite style of lingerie on a woman?
> 
> *Garters, panty hose, and corsets. **Some teddys aren't bad either if they're not the full ones. Whatever makes her feel sexy. When a woman feels sexy it's pretty hot. *
> 
> Do you think high heels are sexy or overkill?
> 
> *Sexy as hell!*
> 
> A lot of men complain about how long it can take a woman to get ready to go somewhere, but wouldn't you say you also appreciate why that is? Or do you think none of it is necessary?
> 
> *Yeah it tells me she cares about herself and wants to look good. An hour or more, is a bit much though unless it's something super formal and fancy. I take along time too, with showering and everything. It's not that big of a deal. I'd rather her take longer and feel good about how she looks vs. rushing her and having her complain about how her hair looks awful the whole night. *
> 
> What female names do you really like? Can a name ruin things for you? Say you found a girl you were really into and she had the most terrible name you've ever heard, would that matter?
> 
> *Women have such awesome names sometimes. I really like exotic sounding names like Desiree, Selena, Sky, Christina, Julieta, ect. Loll I'm tempted to link the video for Mambo Number 5, but I won't. XD
> 
> Not a terrible name, but if they shared the same name with my mother or sister that would wierd me out. Sorry potential soulmates! *
> 
> Let's say you're having an amazing, deep conversion with a woman, and it's going awesome...pretty much making you feel major oxytocin for her at that moment...what topic of discussion do you think it would be?


I would want to hear what she loves, what she's passionate about, how her mind works. Passionate intensity. Passion for passion. If she can arouse in me a sense of vitality or a hunger or a lust, then I'm probably getting pretty hooked. 

If she's talking about something creative like music, writing, or art that would probably work as well. Discussing deep issues too like the meaning of life, time, the universe, or discussing love, eros, and the universal longings of men and women. Mostly though, it would be the vibe. I can discuss those things with people and not feel that rush, but if it's with the right woman, we could honestly be talking about anything under the sun.


----------



## Mai Valentine

KindOfBlue06 said:


> @_Mr. Meepers_ @_Wellsy_ Interesting video. That is not restricted to inner cities either. I grew up in a nice suburb and I can remember two incidents of somehting like this happening. The one time, I remember I was over at this guys house getting high. I was about 15 at the time, he was 14, and there was a girl there who was 12. She was wearing just her panties and a long T shirt. He told me right in front of her that him and 3 other guys took turns with her the other night, and then he said I could have a go at her if I wanted to and he showed me a back room. I was too fucked up and in shock to even consider it, but I remember her showing me her ass and kind of flirting with me, so I don't know if they raped her or if she was willing. T
> 
> The other incident, is when I heard about this girl I went to school with, going to parties with her cousin who was older and ran with a rougher crowd. Apparently she was on all sorts of drugs at some party and she was getting gang banged by 16 guys. From all accounts that I heard, she was fucked up in some backroom, and guys were waiting in line outside the door to have their way with her. We both went to Catholic school and were in 7th grade at the time.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah no doubt both sexes use each other in selfish destructive ways. Women use men emotionally sometimes as well. I've heard it said once that men use emotions to get sex from women, and women use sex to get emotions from men.
> 
> As far as knowing what to look for, it can be difficult, but you just have to screen them harder. This is hard as some men will lie though, but a good indicator is if he's constantly pushing for sex, and saying I love you early on. You can kind of feel out a relationship where it's at, and if it seems like he's saying things too early, too fast, in addition for constantly pushing for sex, that's probably a good sign.
> 
> Another thing is to check out his place. Does he have alot of condoms lying around? It means he probably has alot of sex, and if you are just dating or seeing each other for the first couple of times, he probably has other women he's talking to as well. Also, you can look for signs of other women as well. Do the sheets smell like perfume? Is there hair that's not yours on the bed, pillows, couch, ect? And of course if you find earings or panties lying around, they're probably not his unless he's into cross dressing.
> 
> Now, that's all fine if he tells you upfront that he's seeing other women, but if he's trying to downplay the number of women he's been with or is seeing, that's a red flag.
> 
> Other good things to look for:
> 
> Is he constantly checking out women when you're out in public? Hitting on them even?
> 
> How does he talk about his exes? Negatively?
> 
> Is he constantly going to bars and nightclubs? Drinking and partying are one thing, but chances are he's there to prowl too if he's going to them alot.
> 
> Is he constantly trying to impress you? It's alright to have nice things, but if you get the sense that he's trying to use this as a way to get in your pants, that's a different story.
> 
> All of those are good things to look for possible red flags to see if he's maybe not the guy he says he is. Hope that helps.


I appreciate your advice. This will help me to weed out the "losers".


----------



## wiarumas

SoulShield said:


> I've been wondering for years: why do fools fall in love?


Correlation not causation. Everyone has potential to fall in love. Fools just get the recognition because they approach love... Dun dun dun foolishly.


----------



## milti

Enfpleasantly said:


> Are you guys mostly saying that you can be pigs, but only with women who allow the behavior? When a woman comes along who doesn't tolerate the "pig" games, she's relationship material while the others are just lays?
> 
> By the way, my question should not be taken with defense; I'm asking it for clarity of the conversation going back and forth here, not to pass judgement.


I think there are many men (and women) who are predisposed to manipulative behaviour. I think a person who could be a potential "pig" would find more reason for that kind of thinking if his/her partner always let them off or let their odd behaviour slide. The problem is, as Mai Valentine says, how to distinguish between a genuine guy and a jerk?

I think in the beginning it's a bit of a trail-and-error thing. But it's also up to the person to decide, "what do I look for from this partner?" and if that's not what they are getting, then let it go. From my personal experience, anyone, and I mean *anyone *(even someone on their guard) can be tricked into things through lying and manipulation. 

The solution is to distance yourself from the relationship every once in a while, and use birth control of your own accord. I would never trust a guy who refused to wear a condom. It doesn't matter what I am on or not; a condom is a physical barrier and therefore visibly reliable. The issue here is more clinical - I may trust a partner with all my secrets, etc. but birth control is something that I solely have a say in (i.e. "I can choose not to sleep with you if you don't believe in condoms"; or "I will continue taking b/c pills even if you don't want me to") 

I have a friend who always seems to go for the jerks. I don't know why she does, because, when viewed objectively, the men she dates are absolutely, horrifyingly pathetic. No amount of her friends' warnings will put her off this sort of person. There was this one guy who was emotionally really manipulative - "if you don't come out with me on my birthday I'll cut my wrists" or "if you don't do this for me I'll tell your mum we had sex" or whatever. She knew her friends hated this guy from the bottom of their hearts, but she continued going out with him. She dates a series of similar jerks, always hoping for her Mr Right to come along. How can you wait for a Mr Right when you're only going after the Mr Wrongs?


----------



## Enfpleasantly

More questions...

How important is it to you that a woman is fine with getting her hands dirty? (Camping, outdoors stuff, etc.)

Have you ever really encountered a vagina that smelled like fish? Or smelled bad? What did you do? Did you keep going anyway, make an excuse to stop, leave, tell her? 

Have you or would you ever taste your SO's breastmilk? 

Do you have any habits you would like to break? 

Do you think artists are weird? 

What is the most beautiful song to you? 

You know the stereotype that men don't listen? Does this apply to you? 

You know the stereotype that women nag? Do you think this is true? 

What do you make of this? 









If someone was sitting near you on the couch and started repeatedly bouncing up and down so that the couch created a noise similar to a squeaky bed, would you think of sex? 

If someone was repeatedly moving a straw in and out of a cup lid, would you think of sex?

If a girl put chocolate syrup on a banana and proceeded to lick it off, would you think of sex?


----------



## Meirsho

Enfpleasantly said:


> More questions...
> 
> How important is it to you that a woman is fine with getting her hands dirty? (Camping, outdoors stuff, etc.)
> *very important to me..she's gotta be a sport lover *
> 
> Do you have any habits you would like to break?
> *yes..i sometimes have a hbbit of getting shy or 'stuck up' kinda 'i'm better then you' attitude and i'm working hard on getting rid of it *
> Do you think artists are weird?
> *not especially*
> What is the most beautiful song to you?
> *you want names? well their are like 15 songs i could easily get all emotinal about..*
> You know the stereotype that men don't listen? Does this apply to you?
> *to me-no.i'm more sennsitve then all women i know..i simply know when not to be *
> You know the stereotype that women nag? Do you think this is true?
> *yes. y-e-s.*
> What do you make of this?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *
> or photoshoped or mistake..or gay ppl fantasy^^*
> If someone was sitting near you on the couch and started repeatedly bouncing up and down so that the couch created a noise similar to a squeaky bed, would you think of sex?
> *only if it's a girl 15-40*
> 
> If someone was repeatedly moving a straw in and out of a cup lid, would you think of sex?
> *only if it's a girl 15-40*
> If a girl put chocolate syrup on a banana and proceeded to lick it off, would you think of sex?
> *only if it's a girl 15-40*


----------



## dizzycactus

Enfpleasantly said:


> More questions...





Enfpleasantly said:


> How important is it to you that a woman is fine with getting her hands dirty? (Camping, outdoors stuff, etc.)


I treat such things as kind of adventures. Maybe something that is nice to try and have fun with at some point, but certainly not an essential element of the relationship.




Enfpleasantly said:


> Have you ever really encountered a vagina that smelled like fish? Or smelled bad? What did you do? Did you keep going anyway, make an excuse to stop, leave, tell her?


 NA



Enfpleasantly said:


> Have you or would you ever taste your SO's breastmilk?


I don't have any particular urge to, but I guess I would be willing to give it a try if it came up lol. 



Enfpleasantly said:


> Do you have any habits you would like to break?


I tend to pick at my lip. Until about a week ago, I was sleeping from 4am to 12pm. Not the most compatible pattern for society. But i think I've got it fixed now. until the next party-esque thing at a friends house that knocks it off. 



Enfpleasantly said:


> Do you think artists are weird?


Some are. I think I find it weird that they have such different skillsets than me. Depending on what type of artist they are. I write poetry, and some music. But I can't draw at all. Must be the complete lack of Se. I can't even remember what colour my car is most of the time, and they can actually put all the physical details of things right down on paper... bizarre. But I guess we need people who can do the things others suck at. 



Enfpleasantly said:


> What is the most beautiful song to you?


My opinion changes just about every day on that. Maybe a good contender would be the first half of good mourning/black friday by megadeth. 




or this







Enfpleasantly said:


> You know the stereotype that men don't listen? Does this apply to you?


Depends on who's talking. I tend to ignore SJs, because they relate things in huge long streams of sensory information, like I need to know every single little nuance of every event that lead up to the actual relevant point. It's like an endurance test waiting for them to get to the point. I am very attentive with a girl I care about, though. Or any engaging conversation with an NT, for example. 


Enfpleasantly said:


> You know the stereotype that women nag? Do you think this is true?


I think more women than men are nags, but it's still not a majority. There has just been some extra evolutionary selection there for micromanaging home life etc. 


Enfpleasantly said:


> What do you make of this?


I wonder how that happened. If perhaps it could be photoshopped. Or maybe there was a minimum number of required urinals in the regulations so they squeezed another in... although it does give extra choice. You could even switch between them during the event, if some guy was trying to look at your weiner. 


Enfpleasantly said:


> If someone was sitting near you on the couch and started repeatedly bouncing up and down so that the couch created a noise similar to a squeaky bed, would you think of sex?


I probably will now, but I probably wouldn't have before. 


Enfpleasantly said:


> If someone was repeatedly moving a straw in and out of a cup lid, would you think of sex?


 Same as above. 


Enfpleasantly said:


> If a girl put chocolate syrup on a banana and proceeded to lick it off, would you think of sex?


Depends on if she was licking it suggestively or just normally. It's a bit of an odd thing to do, after all.


----------



## android654

Enfpleasantly said:


> More questions...
> 
> How important is it to you that a woman is fine with getting her hands dirty? (Camping, outdoors stuff, etc.)


I'm not outdoorsy but I do not like dainty women, they do nothing for me and I usually keep them as friends. Zero romantic interest with that kind of women on my end



> Have you ever really encountered a vagina that smelled like fish? Or smelled bad? What did you do? Did you keep going anyway, make an excuse to stop, leave, tell her?


I have... It did take a little maneuvering and self-convincing to get out of a room when someone's half naked and ready for sex. Thankfully it was only once and at a party, I excused myself while trying to keep the atmosphere and walked out and quickly left. I was a little disappointed in myself that night but shame passes quickly.



> Have you or would you ever taste your SO's breastmilk?


You mean like getting a shot glass and using her breast like a tap? Too kinky, even for me.



> Do you have any habits you would like to break?


I'm pretty sure I do...



> Do you think artists are weird?


Weird? Weird is wiping your penis on your windshield because you think it helps you pass red lights without getting caught. I think many are different, which for most people means they're weird.



> What is the most beautiful song to you?


You can't use absolutes with music. It's not fair. I'll give some examples though.




















> You know the stereotype that men don't listen? Does this apply to you?


I listen, I listen a great deal. Unless of course I don't like you, then I pretend to listen until you go away.



> You know the stereotype that women nag? Do you think this is true?


Some do and I've met quite a few, but so do a lot of guys. I think some people just enjoy to bitch for the hell of it, with the expectation that it'll get them what they want.



> What do you make of this?


Interesting place to find out whether or not you like the sight of other penises.



> If someone was sitting near you on the couch and started repeatedly bouncing up and down so that the couch created a noise similar to a squeaky bed, would you think of sex?


I could look at a chair and start immediately thinking about sex.



> If someone was repeatedly moving a straw in and out of a cup lid, would you think of sex?


I could see a coffee mug spinning in a microwave and think about sex



> If a girl put chocolate syrup on a banana and proceeded to lick it off, would you think of sex?


Grapefruits make me think about sex.


----------



## searcheagle

Enfpleasantly said:


> New question:
> 
> Do you put the toilet seat down? Do you think it's something men should do when they live with a woman or girl in the house?


I'm prolly 50/50 with it up/down. But then again, I live by myself. It's the way that I last used it!

If I have company over, I'll have the lid closed.

Other than that, I personally don't see what the big deal is with it having to be one way or the other. It's not exactly a moral question here!


----------



## Mammon

Could it be there are other colors than we can see? I mean, have they ever found an indication that there might be? Like all the colors can be reduced to black and white can it be we are seeing a reduced color spectrum of an infinite ray of colors?

Stupid question but I'm really curious on this


----------



## dizzycactus

13 others said:


> Could it be there are other colors than we can see? I mean, have they ever found an indication that there might be? Like all the colors can be reduced to black and white can it be we are seeing a reduced color spectrum of an infinite ray of colors?
> 
> Stupid question but I'm really curious on this


colours do not have an objective external existence. all the colours you can see, are all the colours that exist, by definition.


----------



## searcheagle

Enfpleasantly said:


> How do you shave? I've noticed that men and women seem to each have their own technique. Do you use shaving cream? Soap? Just water? Do you use aftershave?


I shave using a electric razor and don't use anything else. It's so MUCCCH quicker than blades and without risk of drawing blood! And considering that I could shave daily, that adds up to a significant time savings. (Lately, I've been on a kick where I shave once a week which gives me a more rustic look, I think!)



> Do you think high heels are sexy or overkill?


I think short heels can be sexy. The tall ones are really overkill. They almost shout out- notice me. And that's not a trait that interests me. Well, that and the tall ones can just look silly.



> A lot of men complain about how long it can take a woman to get ready to go somewhere, but wouldn't you say you also appreciate why that is?


I appreciate being on time! 
I wouldn't mind too much if it was formal occasion but for a casual one, it could get old. 



> Or do you think none of it is necessary?


See above.


----------



## searcheagle

13 others said:


> Could it be there are other colors than we can see? I mean, have they ever found an indication that there might be? Like all the colors can be reduced to black and white can it be we are seeing a reduced color spectrum of an infinite ray of colors?
> 
> Stupid question but I'm really curious on this


Colors are just different segments of light. And there are some parts of light that we can't see. For example: Infrared is the light above Red. Ultraviolet is the light below Violet. 










Also, White is all colors in the spectrum while black is none of the colors of the spectrum.


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> More questions...
> 
> How important is it to you that a woman is fine with getting her hands dirty? (Camping, outdoors stuff, etc.)
> 
> *Not really. I always hear about guys liking girls into cars and football and stuff but I don't see the appeal. It can be nice I suppose. I don't mind a girl being the stereotypical girly girl with an affinity towards more indoor/classy stuff. Although it is nice to go biking, hiking, surfing, canoeing, fishing, and tolerate a football game every now and again. It's more about having an open mind than being into it. *
> 
> Have you ever really encountered a vagina that smelled like fish? Or smelled bad? What did you do? Did you keep going anyway, make an excuse to stop, leave, tell her?
> 
> *not fish but I have encountered one or two relatively smelly ones. I didn't do anything really... Didn't put my face in it or anything. I didn't tell her either. Assumed she knew. *
> 
> Have you or would you ever taste your SO's breastmilk?
> 
> *i have accidentally. I forget how. My wife breastfed, pumped, etc. I had to do the whole defrost and/or reheat the supply from the fridge routine. I forget what happened exactly (licked a spoon or sucked a drop off my hand or something without thinking) but I got the taste of it a bit. It tasted like buttery vegetable water with a hint of popcorn? It wasn't very good and wouldn't recommend it. *
> 
> Do you have any habits you would like to break?
> 
> *maybe knuckle cracking*
> 
> Do you think artists are weird?
> 
> *some are. I think there is some level of weird you need to have to excel at art and things creative. Add in some depression, drugs, mental disorders and their art can be fantastic haha partially kidding.*
> 
> What is the most beautiful song to you?
> 
> *Liszt - liebestraum (dream of love)*
> 
> Franz Liszt - Liebestraum - Love Dream - YouTube
> 
> *Eric Clapton - wonderful tonight if you want a modern one with lyrics. *
> 
> You know the stereotype that men don't listen? Does this apply to you?
> 
> *yes. I am awful. My wife thinks I have a legitimate hearing issue from my band playing days. Yet, ace all hearing tests. *
> 
> You know the stereotype that women nag? Do you think this is true?
> 
> *from my experience, yes. ISTJ wife probably doesn't help. *
> 
> What do you make of this?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *target practice. Especially after several drinks. *
> 
> If someone was sitting near you on the couch and started repeatedly bouncing up and down so that the couch created a noise similar to a squeaky bed, would you think of sex?
> 
> *yes. But first I would probably consider why the hell are they doing that?*
> 
> If someone was repeatedly moving a straw in and out of a cup lid, would you think of sex?
> 
> *yea, if it was a girl*
> 
> If a girl put chocolate syrup on a banana and proceeded to lick it off, would you think of sex?
> 
> *yes, if it was a girl. but honestly eating a banana alone would be enough without the syrup.*


In quote


----------



## wiarumas

13 others said:


> Could it be there are other colors than we can see? I mean, have they ever found an indication that there might be? Like all the colors can be reduced to black and white can it be we are seeing a reduced color spectrum of an infinite ray of colors?
> 
> Stupid question but I'm really curious on this


What the others said. Although, I would like to add...

Ask Slashdot: How to Exploit Post-Cataract Ultraviolet Vision? - Slashdot


----------



## 7rr7s

Enfpleasantly said:


> More questions...
> 
> How important is it to you that a woman is fine with getting her hands dirty? (Camping, outdoors stuff, etc.)
> 
> *Not really that important. If she does that's cool, and if not that's cool too.*
> 
> Have you ever really encountered a vagina that smelled like fish? Or smelled bad? What did you do? Did you keep going anyway, make an excuse to stop, leave, tell her?
> 
> *What if it's the fish that smells like pussy? To answer the question though, no, but I did have my ex queef once during sex and that smelled pretty bad but I just kept going with it. *
> 
> Have you or would you ever taste your SO's breastmilk?
> 
> *I haven't but I would try it. Might spice up a milkshake or something haha.*
> 
> Do you have any habits you would like to break?
> 
> *Just be more social and more of a people person. *
> 
> Do you think artists are weird?
> 
> *Loll, they have some strange fucking habits alot of them, but most are pretty cool. I don't know if weird is the right word, because I don't really like weird things, but I admire artists alot. *
> 
> What is the most beautiful song to you?
> *Probably Miles Davis' 2nd take of Flamenco Sketches off of Kind Of Blue. It's like listening to a street at night after a rain. Absolutely beautiful.
> 
> *<strong>
> 
> 
> 
> 
> You know the stereotype that men don't listen? Does this apply to you?
> 
> **blank stare.* I'm sorry did you say something?* * I actually tune out alot, especially if I am thinking of things like music or writing. I just zone out in the middle of conversations and then have to figure out what's going on.*
> 
> You know the stereotype that women nag? Do you think this is true?
> 
> *Sometimes. It's good if she's giving me some constructive criticism or trying to motivate me, but if it comes to actual nagging that's annoying and just pisses* *me off, and in fact it has the complete opposite affect. *
> 
> What do you make of this?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *LOL* *I actually laughed out loud when I saw that. XD That's some funny shit. I bet it's at a gay bar or something haha.*
> 
> If someone was sitting near you on the couch and started repeatedly bouncing up and down so that the couch created a noise similar to a squeaky bed, would you think of sex?
> 
> *Yeah. *
> 
> If someone was repeatedly moving a straw in and out of a cup lid, would you think of sex?
> 
> *Probably not.*
> 
> If a girl put chocolate syrup on a banana and proceeded to lick it off, would you think of sex?


Haha yeah I would. 


13 others said:


> Could it be there are other colors than we can see? I mean, have they ever found an indication that there might be? Like all the colors can be reduced to black and white can it be we are seeing a reduced color spectrum of an infinite ray of colors?
> 
> Stupid question but I'm really curious on this


You would need special lenses that could pick up non visible light. I've always wondered if people process the colors differently though. Like for me, Blue is Blue. But I've wondered if some people view it as Blue. And their red would be my blue. But since they know it as Blue, they just assume that's how it is for everyone. Kind of a paradox.

Also, nice username. You must troll the fuck outta people when you're the 4th person to thank their post. XD


----------



## Who

*How important is it to you that a woman is fine with getting her hands dirty? (Camping, outdoors stuff, etc.)*
I don't really care one way or the other. If she has outdoorsy interests, that's fine, if not, that's fine too, but I do hope she at least does something to get exercise.

*Have you ever really encountered a vagina that smelled like fish? Or smelled bad? What did you do? Did you keep going anyway, make an excuse to stop, leave, tell her?*
Not really. Although my sense of smell is pretty atrocious, so bad smells tend not to bother me as much as most people.

*Have you or would you ever taste your SO's breastmilk?*
I haven't. I never really saw the appeal to it for those that are into that sort of thing. Of course, I have a couple weird kinks of my own, so who am I to judge?

*Do you have any habits you would like to break?
*I'm a bit more sarcastic than I'd like to be. Plus my sarcasm tends to be incredibly deadpan, so some people have trouble telling whether I'm serious or not. I try not to be too rude with it or anything, but I can definitely see it as one of my more annoying traits.

*Do you think artists are weird?*
Not any more than anyone else. We're all weird to some degree. If you're 100% normal in every way, you are the weirdest person ever.

*What is the most beautiful song to you?*
This is difficult to answer because beauty cannot be quantified. Especially since there are so many types of beauty; two songs can be on opposite ends of the musical spectrum but be beautiful for entirely different reasons.

For the sake of this question, I will say that every time I listen to "Beep Street" by Squarepusher, I get chills down my spine. There's just something about the way the frantic, erratic drums both contrast with and compliment the more calm and melodic synth and bass lines.






*You know the stereotype that men don't listen? Does this apply to you?*
Most of the time I don't listen, it's when someone is droning on and on about something that seems boring beyond words. I can put up with an occasional boring, trivial remark, but when it's something like when my brother goes on for like ten minutes about his character in whatever MMO he's playing, I just couldn't even force myself to listen if I wanted to.

However, if I like a girl, I don't find her boring and thus I'd have no desire to tune her out, even if she's talking about something I'd find excruciatingly dull from anyone else. It's like girls have this way of increasing my attention span or something.

*You know the stereotype that women nag? Do you think this is true?
*I've been nagged at by both males and females so it's not necessarily a female trait. However, maybe it's simply the women I know (especially when observing my parents' relationship) but the female nags I know tend to be a lot more relentless. Guys give up a lot easier.

*What do you make of this?

[snip]

*I'm not sure if you ladies are aware of this, but sometimes men must deal with the daunting task of aiming two streams of urine simultaneously. This is usually the result of a pubic hair or a bit of dried semen that didn't quite make it all the way out interfering with things down there. That picture reminds me of those moments.

*If someone was sitting near you on the couch and started repeatedly bouncing up and down so that the couch created a noise similar to a squeaky bed, would you think of sex?*
Probably not because that sound is annoying. Unless the person was a girl and her breasts jiggled while she was bouncing or something.

*If someone was repeatedly moving a straw in and out of a cup lid, would you think of sex?*
That has actually happened to me before. Although it was in a conversation with a friend who said something like "anything can be perverted if you think about it enough" and demonstrated. In my friend's defense he was in middle or high school at the time.

*If a girl put chocolate syrup on a banana and proceeded to lick it off, would you think of sex?*
Like @_wiarumas_ said, the syrup isn't necessary. Seeing a woman sucking or licking something phallic is usually enough.


----------



## Mammon

KindOfBlue06 said:


> You would need special lenses that could pick up non visible light. I've always wondered if people process the colors differently though. Like for me, Blue is Blue. But I've wondered if some people view it as Blue. And their red would be my blue. But since they know it as Blue, they just assume that's how it is for everyone. Kind of a paradox.
> 
> Also, nice username. You must troll the fuck outta people when you're the 4th person to thank their post. XD


Yes my name does lol =P
I wondered the same but than I thought people generally agree on the harmony and disharmony of colors. But than again perhaps some people like color disharmony which would be mine and others color harmony.


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Enfpleasantly said:


> Can you do any "tricks"? For instance, if you were with a group of people, is there anything you can do that might make a person say "watch what he can do...guy, show them that thing you do".


Um ... idk ... not really lol ... I can snap with all my fingers on either hand ... Um, I can walk while eating sushi with chopsticks (did this a couples times while holding an umbrella) ... I once saw someone put a quarter on their elbow and I decided that was easy and after a couple tries I was able to do it all the time lol (been a while since I did it, so I may need to practice a couple times lol ... Um, just about anything I can do with my right hand I can do with my left hand as well (using keys, using chopsticks, years ago I re-learned how to write with my left hand, ...)
I'm not sure ... I don't go around doing trick, although, when I am bored I play with myself (I didn't mean in that way you perverts >.< )

*How do you shave? I've noticed that men and women seem to each have their own technique. Do you use shaving cream? Soap? Just water? Do you use aftershave? *
Either with just water or water and soap ... I don't have shaving cream or aftershave

On my neck area I shave going up ... On my face I shave going down first (I'll save more laterally on the bottom part of my face where the bone is) and after I shave going down, I go up to make it a smoother shave. ... I also sometimes puff um my face a bit with air when shaving my mustache.

If I have not shaved in a while, and my razor is kind of dull and not cutting well, I will, when shaving "down", press a little harder against my face and "vibrate" the razor up and down and I am shaving in a downward direction. Instead of vibrate, maybe I should say short, choppy movements where I go up and down as I am shaving downwards. ... I found that saves a lot of times because not only is the hair getting cut, but instead of the hair getting stuck in the razor it kind of mats/clumps up in front of the razor so I can just get rid of the hair without having to clean out the razor every 30 seconds lol .... Oh, and I always (or at least almost always) latter soap on my face (sometimes a couple times) when I am shaving the way.

There was a time when the hand of my razor was a little broken and I decided to just shave without the handle ... It was actually more comfortable, I think (it has been a while), and I felt like I had better control, but it was a pain to clean the hair out (since, apparently, I am abusive to razors ... I like to bang the hair out of them)

Oh ... and I occasionally shave my armpits because they are smelly and they are not that smelly when I do shave.
And, one time I shaved my belly hair because the hair felt too long (longer than what I was used to ... I was not used to belly hair at the time), but after I shaved it, my belly looked too "attractive" to me (i.e. looked like a woman's belly), so I swore never to shave it again lol

*What's your favorite style of lingerie on a woman?*
Um ... Um .... Um .... The non-existent kind :wink: 

Or any of those frilly ones that seem kind of see through ... I'm not really into things that are like thongs though because it looks like it is just cleaning your butt :tongue: and looks like an uncomfortable wedgie :tongue: 

Really, I don't really care ... as long as it eventually comes off > > > > >

*Do you think high heels are sexy or overkill? *
I'm short, so no one needs to wear high heels for me lol ... Well, my ex was 4'9" (I'm almost 5'4"), so we were like a "mini" couple  ... but she would not need to wear high heels for me (she had enough trouble walking as it was )

Also, my Mom got bunions (not to be confused with funyuns ) due to high heels, and I would not wish that on my SO, so I'm pretty good if no heals are worn lol

*A lot of men complain about how long it can take a woman to get ready to go somewhere, but wouldn't you say you also appreciate why that is? Or do you think none of it is necessary? *

I never had this problem ... I'm pretty "patient" and I don't think I have ever been with a woman that took that long.

... Also, I probably make it take longer because I'm annoying  lol ... I'll be bored, since I'm ready. I'll look at her and tell her how sexy and beautiful she is. I would then ask if I could grope her and kiss her face as she is applying make up (I might be a little silly and jokingly ask she why she is wearing clothes ... then ask why I am wearing clothes ... maybe try to institute a no pants rule ) ... she would tell me no ... and I would have to go entertain myself ... boo 

I should also add that I hate being rushed, so I try not to rush people as well (unless it is an absolute necessity, but I feel like a lot of people rush others in ways that make them take even longer and make them forget things)

*What female names do you really like? Can a name ruin things for you? Say you found a girl you were really into and she had the most terrible name you've ever heard, would that matter?*
I've heard some unique names that I like ... but I don't think a name can ruin it for me, unless her name is something like Ms. Moldy-pants or Elizabeth Bathory 
If I fall for her, I would have loved her name by that point ^__^

*Let's say you're having an amazing, deep conversion with a woman, and it's going awesome...pretty much making you feel major oxytocin for her at that moment...what topic of discussion do you think it would be?*

So, the times where a woman seemed more beautiful with every word she said, I had already had an emotional connection with and I think she was just talking about life, herself, and her opinions on things (and her heart seemed very pretty and strong ^__^). ... It was conversations that made me feel closer to her.
I like intellectual conversations as well and there may be part of that mesmerizing effect, but I feel more excited with those one I like ... (I would have a bit of a smile and feel more energy and my breathe would not be taking away as much).



SoulShield said:


> I've been wondering for years: why do fools fall in love?


Why does anyone fall in love? ... Perhaps love (romantic love, friendship love, love of learning, love of art, ...) is all part of the human experience and at the core of what it means to be human ... and falling in love is just one aspect of that








Enfpleasantly said:


> More questions...
> 
> How important is it to you that a woman is fine with getting her hands dirty? (Camping, outdoors stuff, etc.)


I would not say it is important, but I used to go camping, canoeing, and hiking a lot ... so if she was willing to hike once in awhile (ADVENTURE!!!!) and go in a boat (such as a canoe, raft, or kayak) on a calm lake or calm river, that would be really cool (I would be okay with a rowboat too, but rowboats are slow and are a little bit annoying to me lol)

*Have you ever really encountered a vagina that smelled like fish? Or smelled bad? What did you do? Did you keep going anyway, make an excuse to stop, leave, tell her? *
I wasn't really smelling, but tasted bad ... yes ... I kept going though

*Have you or would you ever taste your SO's breastmilk? *
Never have, and not something I would want to try, but I suppose I would not be opposed to it ... I don't know why I would need to try it though

*Do you have any habits you would like to break? *
Procrastination XD

*Do you think artists are weird? *
Yes, they are ^__^ ... and weird people are SEXY!!!! ^__^
... But I'm probably weirder  ... unless they choose to date me 'cause that is just a weird decision (I suppose that would make them as weird as me )  XD ^__^

*What is the most beautiful song to you? *
No, I already said there has been a couple of songs that I have cried too (and I said I'm not saying what they were) and one of those two songs was very beautiful ... You're not fooling me     

That being said, I'll just post a song that reminds me of the sad ending of an anime I saw some years ago






Actually this song here is very beautiful ^__^






*You know the stereotype that men don't listen? Does this apply to you?* 
I listen, but I can be absent minded from time to time ... To be fair, I don't listen to myself  ("Oh, I told you that story already? I don't remember telling you that story." ... "I told you 5 times already and you can tell it back to me" )

*You know the stereotype that women nag? Do you think this is true?* 
Not to my knowledge ... Then again, maybe I was never listening 

*What do you make of this? *









Um ... I'm going to put my response in a spoiler in order to ... um ... keep it contained lol 

* *





TWO PENISES!!!! I HAVE 2 PENISES ... I HAVE TO MASTURBATE WITH TWO HANDS .... *TWO HANDS!! *.... PENIS PARTY EVERYONE WOOOOH ... IT IS A PENIS PARTY IN MY PANTS ... YAY PENISES WOOOOOOOOH YEAH!!!
I USE TWICE THE BLOOD DURING ERECTIONS ... they make me dizzy ... WOOOOH DOUBLE PENIS DIZZY SEX WOOOOOH
Alex, I'll take Penises for 500 ... IT'S A DAILY DOUBLE WOOOOOOOOH
PENIS PARTY ... InMyPants 




*If someone was sitting near you on the couch and started repeatedly bouncing up and down so that the couch created a noise similar to a squeaky bed, would you think of sex? *
Probably not (I might bounce with them lol), unless someone asked me if it sounded like sex  ... maybe if they did it for awhile lol

*If someone was repeatedly moving a straw in and out of a cup lid, would you think of sex?*
Not really, unless they were making suggestive facial expressions at me lol ... More than likely I would just be confused or thinking that they were playing with the ice in the cup ... Maybe if it was an attractive woman I might think of sex (not sure on that one lol ... I would say I need an experiment, but my mind has already been poisoned lol)

For now on, I may start thinking of sex when that happens because of this question lol  ... Although, I'm absent minded and I'll probably just forget  lol

*If a girl put chocolate syrup on a banana and proceeded to lick it off, would you think of sex?*
*woman (I want to be clear I am talking about women my own age here)

Maybe, I don't know ... I might with my penis was the banana  ... I'm not sure anymore lol
I think these questions are "proof" (evidence really) that woman think about sex just as much as men 
... Or is it that they think about men thinking about sex just as much as men think about sex?      




13 others said:


> Could it be there are other colors than we can see? I mean, have they ever found an indication that there might be? Like all the colors can be reduced to black and white can it be we are seeing a reduced color spectrum of an infinite ray of colors?
> 
> Stupid question but I'm really curious on this


Well, what are the colors ... We have a visible color range, or a range of hues if you wish (It is all about hue, baby :wink::tongue ... we see color through our visual senses, specifically the eyes and eyes detect light. Now, our eyes only see a small portion of the light (electromagnetic wave) spectrum. ... So most light, we don't see. ... Of course we also have to think about how we interpret light (what about color blindness, where green and red appear to be the same "color" to some people (I think that has to do with the eye itself) ... some people see colors when they hear sounds <--- I think that is true for a rare minority of people and I think that has to do with how we process our sensory data)

Now, I can't remember much about color theory, but I'm pretty sure the core concept is that there are three primary colors and I believe they are chosen in such a way where any two of the primary colors can *not* be added or subtracted in such a way as to make the third primary color. Now, I don't know if you know anything about linear algebra or vectors, but vector adding sounds a lot like a 3-dimensional vector space to me where the primary colors create basis vectors ... The direction of the vector would be the hue and the magnitude would probably correspond to more and more light, so the magnitude of the vector should be brightness.

Now, if I am correct, where I learned about color adding and subtracting (besides kindergarten was in a physics textbook taking about the eyes (as a side note to a discussion about light) and I believe it said that it is believed that our eyes have three "color" sensors, or should I say, three wavelength sensors (I am assuming with a set range of wavelengths and a wavelength that they get a more "efficient" reading from and the light intensity it measures dissipates as you lower the intensity and as you travel away from the wavelength of light ... I am just taking guesses here, so don't quote me on how they measure hue) ... I think they are called cones (I'm not sure) ... Then there are sensors that just detect light intensity (I'm not sure, but I am curious if the pure light intensity the measure is limited to the visible spectrum or not) and I believe they are called rods. ... So the three hue sensors in the eyes gives us "proportions" of each sensor and the color intensity sensors give us the brightness .... If I am correct about how the hue sensors work and if their ranges have little overlap, the brain may need to know the total intensity to calculate the wavelength of light (and then the intensity probably only looks ate light in the visible color range).

Now, the brain takes this sensory information, and processes it (hopefully it processes the information in the correct part of the brain) and give our conscious mind the information through color.

I would say that all color is, is a construct of the mind that nicely shows us the visual data we receive from light ... So, I suppose whether or not "more colors" can exist depends on how creative our brains can be in creating visual data as colors are not really real in the way we think of them.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Have you asked, or wanted to ask a SO how the size of your penis compares to her ex's?

Do vaginas feel different or pretty much the same? If so, what makes them feel different? 

What is your favorite gemstone? If you can't think of one you just like, think about jewelry on a woman, which stone do you tend to like? 

Do you think diamond wedding rings are overrated? 

Do you think weddings and all the fluff associated with them are overkill? 

What would be a good valentine's day gift to you? What could she do, or get you that would put a smile on your face? 

Do you like sweet breakfast foods or meaty?

If your SO wanted to paint the ceiling in your bedroom to include a touch of glitter that would catch the light every once in a while, would you be ok with that? Think "Old Hollywood" style...gray elegance. Add to that maybe a non-over the top chandelier, would you be ok with that? Kinda like this:









Would you go nude at a nude beach? 

Do you find trampolines irresistible?


----------



## Death Persuades

Enfpleasantly said:


> Have you asked, or wanted to ask a SO how the size of your penis compares to her ex's?
> 
> *No... I'm sure I would not like the answer  (I'm below average)*
> 
> Do vaginas feel different or pretty much the same? If so, what makes them feel different?
> 
> *I've only been in one vagina so I cannot answer this...
> *
> What is your favorite gemstone? If you can't think of one you just like, think about jewelry on a woman, which stone do you tend to like?
> 
> *Does amethyst count?*
> 
> Do you think diamond wedding rings are overrated?
> 
> *I think wedding rings are overrated. I will show her I am committed by being committed. There is no stronger symbol than an action.*
> 
> Do you think weddings and all the fluff associated with them are overkill?
> 
> *I think they are, but I would gladly go through all of it for a girl I love, if she wants it.*
> 
> What would be a good valentine's day gift to you? What could she do, or get you that would put a smile on your face?
> 
> *Rent a cute, animated movie and snuggle with me while we eat candy* :kitteh:
> 
> Do you like sweet breakfast foods or meaty?
> 
> *Depends on how I am feeling. Both.*
> 
> If your SO wanted to paint the ceiling in your bedroom to include a touch of glitter that would catch the light every once in a while, would you be ok with that? Think "Old Hollywood" style...gray elegance. Add to that maybe a non-over the top chandelier, would you be ok with that?
> 
> *I would  She can do whatever she wants to the bedroom. *
> 
> Would you go nude at a nude beach?
> 
> *No... D:*
> 
> Do you find trampolines irresistible?


*I find them amazing and terrifying at the same time... Quite irresistible. * :ninja:


----------



## Death Persuades

Enfpleasantly said:


> More questions...
> 
> How important is it to you that a woman is fine with getting her hands dirty? (Camping, outdoors stuff, etc.)
> 
> *Somewhat.*
> 
> Have you ever really encountered a vagina that smelled like fish? Or smelled bad? What did you do? Did you keep going anyway, make an excuse to stop, leave, tell her?
> 
> *No, but I would probably endure it for her sake... *
> 
> Have you or would you ever taste your SO's breastmilk?
> 
> *I would love to *:blushed:
> 
> Do you have any habits you would like to break?
> 
> *Expert procrastinator... (I should be reading right now)*
> 
> Do you think artists are weird?
> *
> Which ones?*
> 
> What is the most beautiful song to you?
> 
> Hmmm........... Many.... So many... Wings of Despair, Almost lover, Wild Rose... AH! SO MANY!
> 
> You know the stereotype that men don't listen? Does this apply to you?
> 
> *Not at all... I listen too much...*
> 
> You know the stereotype that women nag? Do you think this is true?
> 
> *In some cases.*
> 
> What do you make of this?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *Dear god! *:bored:
> 
> If someone was sitting near you on the couch and started repeatedly bouncing up and down so that the couch created a noise similar to a squeaky bed, would you think of sex?
> 
> *It's possible, I guess. *
> 
> If someone was repeatedly moving a straw in and out of a cup lid, would you think of sex?
> 
> *I'd think of churning butter.*
> 
> If a girl put chocolate syrup on a banana and proceeded to lick it off, would you think of sex?


*If it's my partner, absolutely. If it's not.... No.*


----------



## Enfpleasantly

@josue0098 you seem like such a sweet guy. I hope you find a girl who will make that heart of yours as happy as syrup on pancakes.


----------



## Death Persuades

Enfpleasantly said:


> @_josue0098_ you seem like such a sweet guy. I hope you find a girl who will make that heart of yours as happy as syrup on pancakes.


Aw thanks :kitteh: I hope so too...


----------



## android654

Enfpleasantly said:


> Have you asked, or wanted to ask a SO how the size of your penis compares to her ex's?


Nope. I really don't think about other people's past relationships or encounters. I don't ask, you don't bring it up and we'll get along fine.



> Do vaginas feel different or pretty much the same? If so, what makes them feel different?


Some women are more lubricated that others. It makes a difference at the beginning but once I get going I don't notice a difference.



> What is your favorite gemstone? If you can't think of one you just like, think about jewelry on a woman, which stone do you tend to like?


There's more than one kind of stone for jewelry? I'm probably the worst person to ask about jewelry, I find it doesn't really look great on anyone with the exception of piercings.



> Do you think diamond wedding rings are overrated?


I think they are, especially when more than half of all of them wind up in a box or a pawn shop at some point, while the most of the others are reminders of failed relationships that are barely holding together.



> Do you think weddings and all the fluff associated with them are overkill?


Yup. If you're going to get married it should be for the two of you, not a big affair for 200+ people are family so extended you have to sort out who's related to whom. All of that planning and arguing over miniscule details like flower arrangements and choices of colors for one afternoon. Why not just use all that time and money to actually do something together that you would both enjoy?



> What would be a good valentine's day gift to you? What could she do, or get you that would put a smile on your face?


I'm the worst person to shop for since the things that I actually want I don't wait around long until I buy them. I'd prefer to actually do something rather than receive something. Which usually leaves people buying something that I have to pretend I'm appreciative of in order to keep up appearances. 

If I enjoyed your company long enough for us to be together on Valentine's day then you *should* know me well enough to have an idea what would be something I would like to do.



> Do you like sweet breakfast foods or meaty?


Every meal I eat something that was once alive.



> If your SO wanted to paint the ceiling in your bedroom to include a touch of glitter that would catch the light every once in a while, would you be ok with that? Think "Old Hollywood" style...gray elegance. Add to that maybe a non-over the top chandelier, would you be ok with that? Kinda like this:


Could never live in a room like that, it's so not my style and would feel foreign to me every time I went in there.

Now this is something I could furnish and live in if I was the kind of person who cared enough to highly decorate my place.











> Would you go nude at a nude beach?


Have you ever been to a nude beach? Not a sexy place at all, mostly people over 40 who are very confident in their bodies. Not a place for me.



> Do you find trampolines irresistible?


I think I can manage without trampolines.


----------



## milti

More from Milti--

What if you and your love interest had completely different tastes in music? Would you spend a whole bunch of money on a ticket to see a concert with them?


Are you attracted to short hair or long hair?


Do you think it's possible to be interested/ have a crush/ fall in love with someone you know only through internet and phone interactions?


What is that one story about you from your childhood your mum likes to repeat?


Is it okay if your partner does not know how to drive (or can't for whatever reason)? Would you mind very much if you had to do all the driving and transporting? Or would you not mind?


How much do you know about grocery shopping?


Do you save your money (if you work) in the bank? Do you help out your household with a bit of your income? Do you pay your taxes? 


Thoughts on PDA - what are your limits? (public demonstration of affection)


----------



## android654

milti said:


> More from Milti--
> 
> What if you and your love interest had completely different tastes in music? Would you spend a whole bunch of money on a ticket to see a concert with them?


That would be rough on me. I have a wide range of musical tastes, but I can not pay good money to see someone like Beyonce do whatever it is she does on stage or whoever is being fawned over these days. I can be a bit of a snob when it comes to music, proudly so, the most I could do would be to not belittle her tastes which I've gotten quite a bit of practice with my friends and acquaintances.



> Are you attracted to short hair or long hair?


Short! 









The shorter the better. I'm really fond of the look and don't know why more people don't opt for it. If it reaches your shoulders I consider it to be rather long.



> Do you think it's possible to be interested/ have a crush/ fall in love with someone you know only through internet and phone interactions?


I can see how someone can fall in to infatuation with someone over simple conversations. For me though it's not something I would necessarily fall into. It takes quite a bit of effort to grab my attention and I don't know how that would work with such a long distance.



> What is that one story about you from your childhood your mum likes to repeat?


I knew better than to bring people home and now that I'm older it's no longer an issue.



> Is it okay if your partner does not know how to drive (or can't for whatever reason)? Would you mind very much if you had to do all the driving and transporting? Or would you not mind?


If I can work around it I guess it wouldn't bother me too much.



> How much do you know about grocery shopping?


Quite a bit I guess. Kind of an odd question to ask.



> Do you save your money (if you work) in the bank? Do you help out your household with a bit of your income? Do you pay your taxes?


I'm all my income and it all goes to the bank.



> Thoughts on PDA - what are your limits? (public demonstration of affection)


In public I am not an affectionate person. Whenever I see people at the mall or on the train grabbing and groping I can only assume they're really horny with no place to go. There's no real need to grab me or nestle alongside me when I'm out and about. Subtle things are welcome but I leave the heavy petting in private.


----------



## milti

android654 said:


> Short!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The shorter the better. I'm really fond of the look and don't know why more people don't opt for it. If it reaches your shoulders I consider it to be rather long.


I really like that look too! I've often wondered if I should go for it. I don't think I have the guts to yet. You need a really sharp jaw and a pixie-like face to be able to carry off that look. I have a face like that, and a sharp jaw line, and am petite enough to look good with shorter hair - BUT - my nose is, like, really sharp. 

Still, let's see. I would be hellishly easy to maintain, too, that's for sure.


----------



## android654

milti said:


> I really like that look too! I've often wondered if I should go for it. I don't think I have the guts to yet. You need a really sharp jaw and a pixie-like face to be able to carry off that look. I have a face like that, and a sharp jaw line, and am petite enough to look good with shorter hair - BUT - my nose is, like, really sharp.
> 
> Still, let's see. I would be hellishly easy to maintain, too, that's for sure.


Do it! Pull the trigger.

I know of one musician who's got a face like what you described and has a similar haircut.


















It's hard to get a good shot of Shikhee, but I've seen her perform in person and I think the haircut compliments her face perfectly.


----------



## 7rr7s

@_Enfpleasantly_ First off, I want to give you a big round of applause for stepping up to the plate and asking interesting questions in @_Ningsta Kitty_'s absence. Way to go! 



Enfpleasantly said:


> Have you asked, or wanted to ask a SO how the size of your penis compares to her ex's?
> 
> *Don't ask don't tell.
> *
> Do vaginas feel different or pretty much the same? If so, what makes them feel different?
> 
> *It depends. Some are looser or tighter, but mostly about the same. *
> 
> What is your favorite gemstone? If you can't think of one you just like, think about jewelry on a woman, which stone do you tend to like?
> 
> *Sapphires. **I also like Garnet alot too. People born in January have the best one, but Topaz isn't a bad birthstone either. *
> 
> Do you think diamond wedding rings are overrated?
> 
> *Not really, but a Ringpop is more affordable. *
> 
> Do you think weddings and all the fluff associated with them are overkill?
> 
> *Not really. It's a day you're going to remember for the rest of your life, so you might as go all out. But I'm an excessive person in general, so take that with a grain of salt. Remember, the divorce party should not exceed half the cost of the wedding. ;D*
> 
> What would be a good valentine's day gift to you? What could she do, or get you that would put a smile on your face?
> 
> *Something related to my interests. Sheet music, books, a badass shirt, or even a really good meal. Anything heartfelt as well, like poetry or a nice picture of us or something. *
> 
> Do you like sweet breakfast foods or meaty?
> 
> *Meaty. Typical breakfast for me, is 4 eggs, bacon, and spinach. Maybe some fresh fruit sometimes too.*
> 
> If your SO wanted to paint the ceiling in your bedroom to include a touch of glitter that would catch the light every once in a while, would you be ok with that? Think "Old Hollywood" style...gray elegance. Add to that maybe a non-over the top chandelier, would you be ok with that? Kinda like this:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *I would be fine* *with everything but the chandelier. I would want it to be over the top, and I would insist on it. *
> 
> Would you go nude at a nude beach?
> 
> *Not in the shape I'm in now, but talk to me in 6 months and I might change my mind. *
> 
> Do you find trampolines irresistible?


They;re okay. Fun, but I don't think they're quite on irresistible level. 



milti said:


> More from Milti--
> 
> What if you and your love interest had completely different tastes in music? Would you spend a whole bunch of money on a ticket to see a concert with them?
> 
> *Not unless I was seeing her for a year or so and we were pretty serious. *
> 
> 
> Are you attracted to short hair or long hair?
> 
> *Long **hair. I want to just like bite it or something. Not actually bite it, but I don';t know, it's hard to explain. I really love hair though. *
> 
> 
> Do you think it's possible to be interested/ have a crush/ fall in love with someone you know only through internet and phone interactions?
> *Yeah, it's happened to me before. In some ways it's more maddening since you can't be with them, although intense attraction of any kind is pretty maddening in general.*
> 
> 
> What is that one story about you from your childhood your mum likes to repeat?
> 
> *How the house she was staying at in Mexico City was on a cliff, and at night she would hold me when I was a baby and lookout over the city. **That's actually the first memory I have too. *
> 
> 
> Is it okay if your partner does not know how to drive (or can't for whatever reason)? Would you mind very much if you had to do all the driving and transporting? Or would you not mind?
> 
> *Yeah, that's one of the bad things about dating 14 year olds.  To answer the question though, I wouldn't mind unless it was a ridiculously long drive*. *I drive alot for my job anyways, so if I'm driving her everywhere she better make it worth my time. *
> 
> 
> How much do you know about grocery shopping?
> 
> *Alot. The healthy stuff is on the walls, like fruit, vegetables, eggs, meats* *ect. The only exception is the bakery section. The further in you go, the worse the food is for you. I know my grocery store like the back of my hand though, so I can be in and out in about 15 minutes. The other thing that saves me time, is I pick up 3 or 4 items at a time and haul them back to the cart, vs. pushing a cart around for everything. *
> 
> 
> Do you save your money (if you work) in the bank? Do you help out your household with a bit of your income? Do you pay your taxes?
> 
> *I do both. Some is in the bank, but I also have cash handy as well. I help out with income as well, and I pay my taxes. *
> 
> 
> Thoughts on PDA - what are your limits? (public demonstration of affection)


I have no limits, but I will stop if it makes her uncomfortable.


----------



## searcheagle

milti said:


> More from Milti--
> 
> What if you and your love interest had completely different tastes in music? Would you spend a whole bunch of money on a ticket to see a concert with them?


It depends on how bad the other music was, lol  If it was just something annoying, I'd tolerate it. If it was something that tortured my ears, then it would also torture the relationship. lol

And I'd have a problem with blowing a lot of money on a ticket regardless of whether I liked them or not! I'm just not a big spender on things like that.



> Are you attracted to short hair or long hair?


Medium to Long hair.



> Is it okay if your partner does not know how to drive (or can't for whatever reason)? Would you mind very much if you had to do all the driving and transporting? Or would you not mind?


 I don't mind driving when we're going together- I actually prefer it. 

But if it came to all the time, everywhere, I would mind that.



> How much do you know about grocery shopping?


What's to know? I lived by myself for a several years and visit the grocery store weekly.



> Do you save your money (if you work) in the bank?


 Yes, a big saver.



> Do you help out your household with a bit of your income?


 I AM my household! lol



> Do you pay your taxes?


 Um...yeah....


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> Have you asked, or wanted to ask a SO how the size of your penis compares to her ex's?
> 
> *yes, I have. And muscle/body. Height. Etc. just curious with a slight tendency to be competitive. *
> 
> Do vaginas feel different or pretty much the same? If so, what makes them feel different?
> 
> *pretty much the same other than tightness, elasticity, and wetness. Elasticity because a vagina can be accommodating but tight. Different than virgin tight if that makes sense.*
> 
> What is your favorite gemstone? If you can't think of one you just like, think about jewelry on a woman, which stone do you tend to like?
> 
> *Favorite gemstone is probably aquamarine. The light blue one? *
> 
> Do you think diamond wedding rings are overrated?
> 
> *overpriced perhaps. Probably not overrated. It's up to the girl. If she wants something original, she gets it. *
> 
> Do you think weddings and all the fluff associated with them are overkill?
> 
> *a lot of it is. Reception is what matters most. Open bar preferably. Rest, not my thing. Up to the girl again. *
> 
> What would be a good valentine's day gift to you? What could she do, or get you that would put a smile on your face?
> 
> *something thoughtful. I like my wife's rule that its something I need/want but unwilling to buy for myself. So, toiletries can be good stuff like shaving cream, cologne, body wash, lip balm, etc. something I need to replace that I use all the time and don't want to make a switch like a wallet, gloves, etc. a meal or food is always nice. Homemade pizza. Maybe something different like crepes. Baked goods always welcome. Then, in the evening. Yanno. *
> 
> Do you like sweet breakfast foods or meaty?
> 
> *either. Sometimes both like pancakes and bacon. I don't think there is any breakfast food I don't like. Prefer hot and protein (eggs?) but don't always have time for that. Save those for the weekend. *
> 
> If your SO wanted to paint the ceiling in your bedroom to include a touch of glitter that would catch the light every once in a while, would you be ok with that? Think "Old Hollywood" style...gray elegance. Add to that maybe a non-over the top chandelier, would you be ok with that? Kinda like this:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *if the price is right, sure. Looks tasteful to me. I defer my judgment on things to the person that has an eye for it. I just hope she would be able to pull it off though and not come off as a cheap attempt. Also I'm skeptical of painting and new furniture because it usually sets off a chain reaction where I have to do other things. New curtains, new rug/carpet, new furniture, etc all because one thing changed color. *
> 
> Would you go nude at a nude beach?
> 
> *sure. It is a nude beach after all. *
> 
> Do you find trampolines irresistible?
> 
> *no. Fun, but I can resist. *


In quote


----------



## All in Twilight

android654 said:


> Short!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The shorter the better. I'm really fond of the look and don't know why more people don't opt for it. If it reaches your shoulders I consider it to be rather long.


She is hot! ♥ And I agree with you here. More women should opt for a haircut like that. The last woman I dated had a mohawk for example and it looked ridiculously good on her.

As for you...are you a man or a woman? I see that you are answering questions here but you identify with the non-gender symbol.


----------



## wiarumas

milti said:


> More from Milti--
> 
> What if you and your love interest had completely different tastes in music? Would you spend a whole bunch of money on a ticket to see a concert with them?
> 
> *it would wear on me after awhile especially on car trips and whatnot. I could tolerate some stuff that isn't my thing but it would have to be artistically respectable. I'm pretty open minded about music and would expect the same from them. I dropped plenty of money on operas, musicals, ballets, symphonies, etc i wasnt interested in to not worry about some concert tickets. *
> 
> Are you attracted to short hair or long hair?
> 
> *long. Something about long, flowing, beautiful hair just gets me going. A little bit of a wave, not straight. Flowing over their naked shoulder. Or when its down and they lay down on their back and it fans out over the bed/pillow. *
> 
> Do you think it's possible to be interested/ have a crush/ fall in love with someone you know only through internet and phone interactions?
> 
> *Yes. A connection to another person doesn't have to be bound by any self imposed restriction. *
> 
> What is that one story about you from your childhood your mum likes to repeat?
> 
> *when I would say "the end" I would say "duh end". When corrected that its the end, I would say "the duh end." Or that as a little boy I accidentally kissed the girl sitting next to me in kindergarten and thought i had to marry her then. *
> 
> Is it okay if your partner does not know how to drive (or can't for whatever reason)? Would you mind very much if you had to do all the driving and transporting? Or would you not mind?
> 
> *i wouldn't mind. I love driving. But expect to be teased. Shortcomings are fodder for flirtatious ridicule. *
> 
> How much do you know about grocery shopping?
> 
> *everything considering I do it a couple times a week for many years now. *
> 
> Do you save your money (if you work) in the bank? Do you help out your household with a bit of your income? Do you pay your taxes?
> 
> *not very much is saved in the bank. I keep most in a brokerage account since savings rates are pathetic right now. I only keep enough as a safety to cover expenses. I also use credit very strategically. As for income, most of the household income comes from me. I control the finances. My wife just gives me a solid figure every month and can use the rest of her pay for discretionary spending. And yes I pay taxes. Just did 2012 not too long ago. *
> 
> Thoughts on PDA - what are your limits? (public demonstration of affection)
> 
> *fine in modest amounts. *


Hair example:


----------



## Master Mind

Mai Valentine said:


> Not necessarily. For instance, many men put women on birth control, and it is up to the women to take it. If she forgets to take it, then he's fucked.


"If she forgets to take it, he's f'ed?"

What, is he unable to put on a condom or something?

I've never had sex without a condom, and I've been just fine. I have no kids anywhere, which people have regarded as unusual. If you and/or your partner don't want kids, then it's the responsibility of the party(parties) that don't want them to take the necessary preventive precautions. Which means me wearing a condom. Which _doesn't_ mean only her taking birth control. It's called taking responsibility. Which many people aren't willing to do.

And it's stupid to put all the onus on the woman for birth control. When it comes down to it, you're only going on faith. The reality is that you have no idea whether she's taking birth control or not unless you actually see her taking it, which I'm guessing most men (none?) don't do. Example: my sister wanted kids, while her boyfriend didn't. He didn't wear condoms because "he didn't like how they feel." So she stopped taking birth control and kept buying pregnancy tests, hoping each time that it would be positive. If an unwanted pregnancy results, you have no grounds for complaint if you didn't uphold your end of the deal to prevent it from happening. If I don't wear a condom and get a woman pregnant, then it's my own damn fault. It was completely preventable had I simply put on a condom. But since I've always worn a condom regardless of what she's doing, I've never had a unwanted pregnancy. Funny how that works.


----------



## Master Mind

Enfpleasantly said:


> Sitting at a red light, you notice an attractive woman in the car next to you, you honk your horn to get her attention, and when she looks, you wave or give her the "eyebrows". Have you ever done this? if so, why? And how old were you?


I don't pay attention to people in the cars next to me, my eyes are on the road in front of me. The people in surrounding cars are irrelevant to me, unless they're idiots who don't know how to drive, or people who have no business with a license, of which there are many. And I'm not sure why, under any circumstance, I in my car would honk my horn to get the attention of a woman. I'm not in high school anymore, and I never did that then, so I certainly wouldn't do it now.



Enfpleasantly said:


> Would you rather a person who complements your personality nearly perfectly, but with some obstacles to overcome, or a less compatible person with no obstacles to overcome?


I'm not sure why I would be with someone who wasn't compatible in the first place. Since life is short, there's no point in wasting it with people I'm not compatible with. On the other hand, it would depend on the obstacles. I've done the obstacle thing before and tried to make it work, and it isn't fair to me when there are a bunch of obstacles _I_ have to overcome when the same is not the case vice versa. I don't want a relationship with me to be something that's trying considering all the crap one has to go through as it is in life. I'll pass on both of them and remain by myself without the drama, hassles, B.S. etc. Quite frankly, there's no benefit in being with someone over being alone. Until the unlikely event that I encounter someone who changes that, there's no reason for me to waste the finite time I have and make my life more problematic. (Though perhaps people are more mature now than they were then, though age doesn't necessarily denote maturity.)


----------



## Master Mind

HonestAndTrue said:


> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I think a real man can take this sex drive, testosterone, this masculine energy and instead of just directing it at sex can re-direct it into other passions.


Sublimation.


----------



## RoughEstimate

When a guy gets an erection from really light foreplay like dry touching or making out, I'm like putty in his hands.
If it takes a lot to turn someone on, I usually end it before it really begins.

This is because I've always held to the idea that if he's really into me, it'll be obvious.

So is my logic flawed? Are some guys just more in control of boners, because I have no idea why they'd want to be.


----------



## android654

All in Twilight said:


> She is hot! ♥ And I agree with you here. More women should opt for a haircut like that. The last woman I dated had a mohawk for example and it looked ridiculously good on her.
> 
> As for you...are you a man or a woman? I see that you are answering questions here but you identify with the non-gender symbol.


I have a penis.


----------



## Death Persuades

android654 said:


> I have a penis.


Were you born with it?


----------



## Enfpleasantly

What is the saddest song you have ever heard? Or one that makes you feel sad when you listen to it.

What is the funniest video on Youtube to you?

Do you like to make people laugh, if so, what is your style of humor? 

Can you think of a time you were greatly misunderstood and never allowed to give an explanation? Or there was no resolution? 

What to you are the danger signs that a relationship is falling apart? 

What do you think brings people in a relationship closer together? 

Do you feel like there's anyone who understands you fully? If so, what is the person's relation to you?

Sex toys, fun or get in the way? 

What is the nicest compliment you have ever received? Or one that stands out in your mind. 

What is the worst insult you've ever received? Or one that stands out in your mind. 

What is the most awkward thing you've ever witnessed or happened to you directly? What did you do?


----------



## HonestAndTrue

android654 said:


> I have a penis.


Until I started answering here I wasn't sure either. Then again I was more thinking of Lisbeth in the Swedish movies.


* *






HonestAndTrue said:


> Yet it's still worse. When I see this (
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ) I sometimes guess wrong the gender and find out later that while I've been reading someone's posts, picturing them naked, imagining, I find out later it's a guy.


----------



## Surreal Snake




----------



## android654

josue0098 said:


> Were you born with it?


That's a very roundabout way of trying to get info about my dick. But yes, I'm XY.



Enfpleasantly said:


> What is the saddest song you have ever heard? Or one that makes you feel sad when you listen to it.


Since you're going to make me pick one I'm going to have to go off the top of my head.








> What is the funniest video on Youtube to you?


Don't judge me...








> Do you like to make people laugh, if so, what is your style of humor?


Probably black humor which I suppose it would be categorized as vulgar by most. My humor really closely mirrors my favorite comics like Louis C.K.








> Can you think of a time you were greatly misunderstood and never allowed to give an explanation? Or there was no resolution?


Wow... I actually had to dig in memory to find one, all the way back to high school. Long story short, there were rumors, a friend thought I spread rumors about her, I was confronted and defended myself, she didn't think it was good enough and I lost a friend.



> What to you are the danger signs that a relationship is falling apart?


The mere thought of spending time becomes a mental burden.



> What do you think brings people in a relationship closer together?


Shared experience, whether good or bad ties people together.



> Do you feel like there's anyone who understands you fully? If so, what is the person's relation to you?


Nope. I don't even understand myself.



> Sex toys, fun or get in the way?


Depends on the toy and the reason they're being used. If you're the type of person who buys extreme sized dildos to seem kinky I think it just becomes a distraction.



> What is the worst insult you've ever received? Or one that stands out in your mind.


Hmm... I've been insulted pretty badly a few times but nothing that sticks out in my mind. People aren't particularly articulate when they're upset.



> What is the most awkward thing you've ever witnessed or happened to you directly? What did you do?


A guy I knew getting caught cheating on his girlfriend by his girlfriend. Big scene in the middle of campus in front of about 40 people. I've hadn't laughed that hard in a long time.


----------



## Death Persuades

android654 said:


> That's a very roundabout way of trying to get info about my dick. But yes, I'm XY.


No, just about your biological sex. One can have surgery and then say they have a penis, but still be biologically female.


----------



## android654

josue0098 said:


> No, just about your biological sex. One can have surgery and then say they have a penis, but still be biologically female.


Glad to know you're curious



HonestAndTrue said:


> Until I started answering here I wasn't sure either. Then again I was more thinking of Lisbeth in the Swedish movies.


I like staring at them both








for different reasons.


----------



## wiarumas

roughestimate said:


> When a guy gets an erection from really light foreplay like dry touching or making out, I'm like putty in his hands.
> If it takes a lot to turn someone on, I usually end it before it really begins.
> 
> This is because I've always held to the idea that if he's really into me, it'll be obvious.
> 
> So is my logic flawed? Are some guys just more in control of boners, because I have no idea why they'd want to be.


Men's erections are like being wet for a girl. We don't really control it, it happens when sexually aroused. Different guys get aroused for different things. Some guys get boners as easily as just seeing a girl or touching a girl. Others, it takes a bit more like the passion of the moment or the act of removing the girls clothing.

As for erections while making out, sometimes it can be hot and get things worked up. But if we know sex or anything isn't an option, it might not be as arousing. What for, you know? There could be other factors too - drugs, alcohol, health issues, and even just nervousness.


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> What is the saddest song you have ever heard? Or one that makes you feel sad when you listen to it.
> *
> "Tears in Heaven" is a song by Eric Clapton and Will Jennings from thesoundtrack to the film Rush. The song was written about the pain and loss Clapton felt following the death of his four-year-old son,[1] Conor. Conor fell from a window of the 53rd-floor New York apartment belonging to his mother's friend on March 20, 1991. Clapton arrived at the apartment shortly after the accident,[2] and was distraught over his son's death.[1] *
> 
> Eric Clapton - Tears In Heaven (Official Video) - YouTube
> 
> *also this one is kinda sad. One of my favorite music videos of all time. I think you'll like it. It's the symbolism and ending I like. *
> 
> Rabbit In Your Headlights on Vimeo
> 
> What is the funniest video on Youtube to you?
> 
> *hmm tough one. I saw a bunch but I don't remember what was funniest. I dont spend too much time on youtube. The panda sneeze, the i like turtles one, leprechaun in alabama, the worst weatherman, the auto tune ones just to name a couple I remember. Definitely not the funniest but memorable. I'm sure there is much funnier though - comedians, skits, TV shows, the onion, etc are on there. I kind of view youtube like a single serving comedy source. Not a legitimate source of comedy if that makes sense. *
> 
> Do you like to make people laugh, if so, what is your style of humor?
> 
> *sure. Sarcastic humor typically. Sometimes inside joke type references where people have to know a movie, song, or some type of knowledge to understand. Sometimes cheesy. Sometimes dark and/or shock humor like crude sex jokes and the like. *
> 
> Can you think of a time you were greatly misunderstood and never allowed to give an explanation? Or there was no resolution?
> 
> *not that I recall. Not being allowed to give an explanation usually isn't enough for me to not give it. *
> 
> What to you are the danger signs that a relationship is falling apart?
> 
> *no conversation, no contact (or reluctance to touch), no genuine interest, no eye contact. Maybe just avoidance in general. *
> 
> What do you think brings people in a relationship closer together?
> 
> *teamwork. Working together. Doing stuff together, overcoming obstacles. *
> 
> Do you feel like there's anyone who understands you fully? If so, what is the person's relation to you?
> 
> *wife, my parents to a lesser extent. Although, probably not fully. Good enough. *
> 
> Sex toys, fun or get in the way?
> 
> *can be fun. I'm open about it. As long as its kinky fun/something new and not a crutch. *
> 
> What is the nicest compliment you have ever received? Or one that stands out in your mind.
> 
> *my college guidance counselor called me a modern renaissance man who could do anything I wanted in life. *
> 
> What is the worst insult you've ever received? Or one that stands out in your mind.
> 
> *racist remarks made in 1st grade by this one kid. I didn't even know what he meant and had to ask my mom about it. It's not something I really identify with being like 12.5% Filipino but it stood out to me as it was the first time I realized I might be different or something. *
> 
> What is the most awkward thing you've ever witnessed or happened to you directly? What did you do?
> 
> *my mother in law caught me in my boxers late at night on the way to the bathroom down the hall on the first day I met her. She thought it was funny and cute... Maybe liked what she saw haha. Slightly awkward and not too bad. Could have been worse - she could have realized i didn't quickly dodge into the bathroom because I was in my boxers, but because I had a used condom in my hand. *


In quote


----------



## 7rr7s

roughestimate said:


> When a guy gets an erection from really light foreplay like dry touching or making out, I'm like putty in his hands.
> If it takes a lot to turn someone on, I usually end it before it really begins.
> 
> This is because I've always held to the idea that if he's really into me, it'll be obvious.
> 
> So is my logic flawed? Are some guys just more in control of boners, because I have no idea why they'd want to be.


Nah, your logic is fine. I get aroused pretty easily, and sometimes I can't really control if I get an erection. This leads to some awkward scenarios loll.



Enfpleasantly said:


> What is the saddest song you have ever heard? Or one that makes you feel sad when you listen to it.
> *
> Probably that Rachmaninoff one that I linked to earlier in this thread. I'm 97% convinced he was an INFP. His first symphony got terrible reviews and he fell into a severe depression and writers block that lasted a few years. After going to therapy, he got his confidence back and that was the first thing he wrote. I relate alot to the creative struggles, and the depression he went through, and I can hear it in that piece especially. *
> 
> What is the funniest video on Youtube to you?
> 
> *Okay this is will take some work, but it's well worth it. Go to youtube, on two separate windows/tabs. in the first one, type in "baby otters swim in tub." Pause it at the beginning, and put it on mute. Now in the second one, type in "Project Pat I ain't going back to jail." Play the project pat, then go back to the otter video and play it. Hilarity ensues. XD
> *
> Do you like to make people laugh, if so, what is your style of humor?
> 
> *Yeah why not. X rated jokes/corny jokes/puns**/saying off the wall things.*
> 
> Can you think of a time you were greatly misunderstood and never allowed to give an explanation? Or there was no resolution?
> 
> *Not really. If I feel the need to explain myself, I'll do it.
> *
> What to you are the danger signs that a relationship is falling apart?
> 
> *Getting too comfortable, especially falling into routines. Being distant with one another, less and less sex. *
> 
> What do you think brings people in a relationship closer together?
> 
> *Challenges, obstacles, when you both go through serious shit, sex, shared experiences, especially traveling. *
> 
> Do you feel like there's anyone who understands you fully? If so, what is the person's relation to you?
> 
> *Not fully. The closest would be my best friend, or my mother. *
> 
> Sex toys, fun or get in the way?
> 
> *Fun! *
> 
> What is the nicest compliment you have ever received? Or one that stands out in your mind.
> 
> *In highschool, on the last day of the semester, my teacher gave everyone a sincere compliment. When he came to me he said, "You've got it. Whatever "it" is you've got it. That spark. Not everyone has it, but you do." **I always kind of sensed something was different, but hearing that gave me real confidence to pull through some of the darker stuff ahead.*
> 
> What is the worst insult you've ever received? Or one that stands out in your mind.
> 
> *When someone called me a cripple. *
> 
> What is the most awkward thing you've ever witnessed or happened to you directly? What did you do?


Aside from that hell date I went on that I talked about earlier in the thread, this is one of the most awkward scenario's I've been in. This happened in middle school. Hormones were hitting me pretty hard then, and I got a hard on in class. Now I was in the back so I thought no one would notice it. Well, obviously that's the perfect time to have a FIRE DRILL. :shocked:

I freaked the fuck out, and tried to cover it up with a trapper keeper, but the teacher's yelling at me no don't take anything leave everything here! I put my hands in my pockets to try and hide it, but it was still pretty noticeable. To make it even more awkward this was like a week after I told this girl who sat in front of me I had a huge crush on her. :blushed::ninja:


----------



## HonestAndTrue

@Enfpleasantly


* *








Enfpleasantly said:


> Can you do any "tricks"? For instance, if you were with a group of people, is there anything you can do that might make a person say "watch what he can do...guy, show them that thing you do".
> 
> On occasion at work in the afternoon there is free beer. One occasion there were three golf balls on a table and someone told me to stack them. Within 20 seconds I stacked them. Never saw Minute to Win It or ever practicing stacking three golf balls before. The next day I learn other than the person who arranged the activity, I was the only one that successfully stacked them.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> How do you shave? I've noticed that men and women seem to each have their own technique. Do you use shaving cream? Soap? Just water? Do you use aftershave?
> 
> Right now I don't shave, just trim my mustache and beard between barber visits. When I did shave it was every day, shaving cream, no aftershave, with a Mach 3 then later the Fusion Power. I'd shave with the grain first, then I'd shave against the grain. So smooth you couldn't feel any hair was even there.
> 
> Do you think high heels are sexy or overkill?
> 
> Depends on how tall she is. If it brings her just below even, it's sexy. If she becomes even or taller, it's overkill.
> 
> A lot of men complain about how long it can take a woman to get ready to go somewhere, but wouldn't you say you also appreciate why that is? Or do you think none of it is necessary?
> 
> If we get out the door on schedule, take as long as you want before. I appreciate why it is. Us guys prepare too, but it's mainly mental not cosmetological. If it's necessary for you, it's necessary. Sometimes it's necessary for me to stare at an empty space on a wall to get ready.
> 
> What female names do you really like? Can a name ruin things for you? Say you found a girl you were really into and she had the most terrible name you've ever heard, would that matter?
> 
> Mary, since I learned it's not common anymore. A name can't ruin things for me. Besides nicknames or pet names would no doubt become used more and more.
> 
> Let's say you're having an amazing, deep conversion with a woman, and it's going awesome...pretty much making you feel major oxytocin for her at that moment...what topic of discussion do you think it would be?


It would be a multi-topical discussion. In these cases it's usually not discussing the topic directly but through discussing multiple other things and how they either compare to the topic or there is a metaphorical comparison. It would all roll up to the meaning of life but through religion, politics, sex, sports, technology, entertainment, etc. It'd be if we both could create and follow tangents and roll it all back up.


----------



## TWN

milti said:


> More from Milti--
> 
> What if you and your love interest had completely different tastes in music? Would you spend a whole bunch of money on a ticket to see a concert with them?
> *
> I would not. Ive had shouting matches about music, but at the end of the day we would just end up swapping artists, and diving into each others music. I would never waste A good ticket to see, let say Jason Mraz, on someone that hates him.
> 
> Id rather go see a comedy show.
> *
> 
> Are you attracted to short hair or long hair?
> 
> *Eh. Short-ish.*
> 
> 
> Do you think it's possible to be interested/ have a crush/ fall in love with someone you know only through internet and phone interactions?
> 
> *[I do. Though, I only fell in love (If that's possible) after we met, and were dating in-person for almost a year. ]
> *
> *EDIT: NEVERMIND. Didnt read the entire question. lol.*
> 
> What is that one story about you from your childhood your mum likes to repeat?
> *
> She has a picture of me on my first day of school frowning because I didnt have my backpack (Because SHE left it at home).
> 
> She always says that I got so angry because I was ill prepared, and was sad the whole day. But the picture REALLY tells the story.
> *
> 
> Is it okay if your partner does not know how to drive (or can't for whatever reason)? Would you mind very much if you had to do all the driving and transporting? Or would you not mind?
> 
> *Im not a fan of driving, so im not sure how that would work. *
> 
> How much do you know about grocery shopping?
> 
> *A lot. When I first egan living on my own I had to throw out all of my old habits..and actually cook.*
> 
> 
> Do you save your money (if you work) in the bank? Do you help out your household with a bit of your income? Do you pay your taxes?
> *
> I live alone, so yes I do help myself. Yes, and yes (Isn't it illegal if you don't?).
> *
> Thoughts on PDA - what are your limits? (public demonstration of affection)
> 
> *
> No limits. Ive been close to giving and receiving oral in a movie theater.*



^_^


----------



## Mr. Meepers

@Enfpleasantly

* *







Enfpleasantly said:


> Have you asked, or wanted to ask a SO how the size of your penis compares to her ex's?


I can't remember if I asked or if she just told me (this one only had one bf before me and he was apparently very, very big) ... but as long as my SO likes my penis I am not insecure about it.

I'm pretty reasonable. I *only *ask my SO to think my penis is the best in the world :tongue::crazy: ... Not because my penis is that great, but because it is attached to someone she really likes ... I suppose I should really say that I want her to want want my penis more than any other guy's penis.

Despite my unreasonableness, I think I'm fair. When I fall in love with an S.O. I think she is the most beautiful and sexiest woman alive and that no woman can compare. ... So, I'm unreasonable but fair 

After I told my ex that I was not insecure about it, she would sometimes bust my chops about how big it was ... So I would bust her chops about how tiny it was and that the only reason it wasn't painful was because he had to knock her out for several hours as he tried to get it in their  (i.e. he was too big, therefore mine is better )

*Do vaginas feel different or pretty much the same? If so, what makes them feel different? *
 I'm not experienced enough

*What is your favorite gemstone? If you can't think of one you just like, think about jewelry on a woman, which stone do you tend to like? *
idk ... Probably blue sapphires (I like blue ) ... Followed by either emeralds or green sapphires









^^ Going by that, I also like tanzanites, amethysts, and citrines a lot (but sapphires are probably still my favorite ... maybe a tie with tanzanites)

*Do you think diamond wedding rings are overrated? *
Kind of yes ... Don't get me wrong, I don't think wedding rings should be cheap, but I think it is an awful lot for a cut, colorless, clear piece of stone ... I like that the stone is not opaque, but it doesn't even have any color ... it is kind of boring compared to the other stones. ... I mean citrines are yellow and could symbolized that her beauty and our love shine as bright as the sun, sapphires can symbolize a love that is as deep as the ocean, ....... Those "less valuable" stones are so much cooler and prettier and more meaningful, imo. ... So, imo, diamonds cost a lot and are just not the most interesting stone 

*Do you think weddings and all the fluff associated with them are overkill? *
To an extent, yes ... I think more weddings should be done outside ... It is pretty outside and a lot of the scenery is already there (although that silly weather) ... But, before the wedding, presumably, a couple has already decided to be together forever (and they are correct 50% of the time ). So I see a wedding as more of a celebration of that decision and the finalization of that process, so I don't think it needs to be tens of thousands of dollars. And why do things need to be "perfect" when the couple is with the person they want to be with at their wedding (isn't that the best part) (also the imperfect can be more beautiful than the "perfect" )

*What would be a good valentine's day gift to you? What could she do, or get you that would put a smile on your face? *
I don't care about physical gifts, unless it is food  ... but something from the heart ... Knowing me, cuddling all day giving each other eskimo kisses would sound like a great gift lol
If we have been together for a while, any gift that expresses how much she loves me would be amazing ^__^ ... If we haven't been together that long, just a fun time would be a great gift ... a walk in the park, being "romantic" in silly ways ... I'm easy to please lol

Do you like sweet breakfast foods or meaty?
I usually eat sweet breakfasts ... but, for other meals, I prefer meaty ... also, I like my meats to be a little sweet lol
In all honest, I'm okay with both (as long as there is no bacon lol)

*If your SO wanted to paint the ceiling in your bedroom to include a touch of glitter that would catch the light every once in a while, would you be ok with that? Think "Old Hollywood" style...gray elegance. Add to that maybe a non-over the top chandelier, would you be ok with that? Kinda like this:*








Yeah, that looks pretty ^__^
Although, probably not my first choice ... does feel a little ornate/formal ... maybe a more relaxing atmosphere would be better (or at least a darker brown wall where the headboard is and maybe a light brown on the other three walls ... idk lol)

*Would you go nude at a nude beach?* 
Um ... No ... Unless it was a private nude beach that I owned ... and by private nude beach that I own I mean a private beach that no one is is one, but me and a guest :wink:

*Do you find trampolines irresistible?*
Yes  ... At least when there are kids around ... But I'm kind of big to jump lol. ... I just tell the little ones to sit as I let myself fall on my butt (without jumping) and watch them bounce up in the air lol (it has been a while since I had the opportunity to do that, but they loved it lol) ... I used to also jump on my knees and I also had pushed repeatedly with my arms to make them bounce with the trampoline waves lol ... also rolling or watching them roll around is fun too 
Also play wrestling (play high school wrestling, not play wwe or whatever it is called) is fun too


 @milti

* *







milti said:


> More from Milti--
> 
> What if you and your love interest had completely different tastes in music? Would you spend a whole bunch of money on a ticket to see a concert with them?


I would not spend a whole bunch of money even if I liked it  ... But whatever I'm willing to spend on a concert I like, I would spend on her to make her happier ... as long as I could tolerate the music (if I can't tolerate the music, as in it gives me a headache or is played so loud that it hurts me ears) then I would rather have her go without me ... although, I have yet to encounter that problem 

*Are you attracted to short hair or long hair?*
Usually long, but it depends on the cut ... I've seen some awesome short hair as well ^__^

*Do you think it's possible to be interested/ have a crush/ fall in love with someone you know only through internet and phone interactions?*
Crushes ... Definitely :blushed::blushed::blushed:
Falling in love?? Some people claim to have done it ^__^ ... perhaps the beginning of love at least ... although, I still think in is probably a good idea to meet in person a few times and see if you can stand each other in person 

*What is that one story about you from your childhood your mum likes to repeat?*
There are a few, but I can't think of any right now lol 
Oh I know one ... I was eating chocolates that I was told not to eat (I was two I think) and the wrappers were everywhere and chocolate was all over my face and my Mom asked me if I ate any chocolate and I just denied it 
*
Is it okay if your partner does not know how to drive (or can't for whatever reason)? Would you mind very much if you had to do all the driving and transporting? Or would you not mind?*
It is okay, but I don't really like driving (I feel kind of nervous), but I suppose it would not be that big of a deal 
... Actually, my last ex only had a permit when we broke up (she was 23 at the time)

*How much do you know about grocery shopping?*
Done it many, many times ... Um I know enough I suppose lol

*Do you save your money (if you work) in the bank? Do you help out your household with a bit of your income? Do you pay your taxes? *
I don't make much 

*Thoughts on PDA - what are your limits? (public demonstration of affection)*
I like PDA > as long as we are being cute about it (cute kisses, hugs, holding hands, fun dancing on the sidewalk, ...) ... and I prefer ninja groping to be done when there is no one around, or at least way, way in front of us lol (or at least when no one can see)


 @roughestimate

* *







roughestimate said:


> When a guy gets an erection from really light foreplay like dry touching or making out, I'm like putty in his hands.


Um, I'm like putty in her hands when she gives me an erection 

* *




while telling me she is going to have her way with me  ... Once I like a woman, I'm really easy lmao





> If it takes a lot to turn someone on, I usually end it before it really begins.
> 
> This is because I've always held to the idea that if he's really into me, it'll be obvious.
> 
> So is my logic flawed? Are some guys just more in control of boners, because I have no idea why they'd want to be.


Um ... I think it probably depends on the guy and what he is feeling ... I mean, if he had a bad day, it may take a while, idk ... it may also depend on how comfortable he is while you, idk

All I can say for me is that if I really like a woman, it doesn't take much to get an erection ... now, I suppose that does not necessarily mean I'm emotionally turned on if I have a boner, but when I really like my partner I am emotionally turned on and I get a lot of erections lol ... Just thinking about my partner would sometimes give me erections lol (although not in public as much) ... but other guys are probably different, idk


 @Enfpleasantly

* *







Enfpleasantly said:


> What is the saddest song you have ever heard? Or one that makes you feel sad when you listen to it.


Good question ... Idk ... Probably this song ... I don't like to listen to it too much because it is so sad





*What is the funniest video on Youtube to you?*
I don't watch a lot of funny videos on youtube ... mine probably won't be that funny










This one only has audio





*Do you like to make people laugh, if so, what is your style of humor? *
Surprisingly, I do. My humor style is usually crazy (not my favorite style of humor, but it is the type that works best with my natural thinking) and sometimes I'll be sarcastic. ... There have been a number of times where I would say something mildly funny to my friends and they would just keep laughing, even though it was really not that funny lol (I think their is something wrong with their heads or something lol)

*Can you think of a time you were greatly misunderstood and never allowed to give an explanation? Or there was no resolution? *
It's happened, I'm willing to bet ... but I don't remember any times  ... nothing that really had much of an impact lol

*What to you are the danger signs that a relationship is falling apart? *
When one person wants out  ... abuse, lack of respect, when someone no longer loves you in the same way (cares about you, but doesn't want to be your SO), lots of emotional distance, ...

*What do you think brings people in a relationship closer together? *
Um ... Love, friendship, compatability, time (can go both ways though), shared experiences, shared struggles where both people work together to solve problems, shared goals

*Do you feel like there's anyone who understands you fully? If so, what is the person's relation to you?*
Not at the moment because there are lots of stuff I don't share, but I have had some close friends and I do have a few people here on PerC that understand me fairly well

*Sex toys, fun or get in the way? *
I don't know. I never used them ... I might be interested in trying though > .. but I don't really care

*What is the nicest compliment you have ever received? Or one that stands out in your mind. *
Um ... idk ... I have had people tell me that they greatly admire me and I have had people tell me that there needs to be more people like me ... I think a few times people tell me they wish they were more like me ... um, I had a friend call me a jackass for getting two (bachelors) degrees in four years when it took him six years to get one (to be fair, he did switch majors and he could not use a lot of his courses) ... Um, I've had people tell me I am beautiful (and I don't think I'm that good looking, so I assume they are not talking about looks ^__^) ... I still like being called lovable the best though :kitteh: 

*What is the worst insult you've ever received? Or one that stands out in your mind. *
Um ... Idk ... I don't really remember a lot of insults ... I suppose I would not really care anymore ... I can think of one insult right now. ... So, in high school my friends respected me and knew I was "tough", but I had no problem saying I was a Mama's boy because I loved my Mom. I remember being at a restaurant with my Mom and my friends showed up and she told me I could sit with them so she doesn't embarrass me and I remember letting her that it was okay because I embarrass myself enough on my own  ... So, if nothing else, by the time I was in high school the term "mama's boy" did not bother me (although no one called me one, even though I called myself one, but I wasn't "wimpy", so no one cared I guess??)

Anyway, go back a few years. I'm not sure, but I don't think the term "Mama's boy" itself would bother me, but maybe the term would, idk ... Anyway, I was at my Father's place for the weekend and he was awake, lying in bed while I was eating grapes (it was a studio apartment). I wanted to go home early and since my Father had nothing to do with my scouting (other than pretending to play the victim at church to my scout master which my scout master eventually saw that his words and actions did not match lol), so I tell him that there is a scouting event and I need to go home early that weekend (not right away, but I think it was the morning of the next day, I think, idk ... anyway I could not be honest because my Dad did not like to bring me back on time as it was, not because he wanted to spend time with me, but because he just like playing games with when he returned me) ... anyway, I make up this scouting thing and how I need to go home early. So my Dad starts making fun of me and he keeps calling me a mama's boy over and over and over again. So I'm eating grapes and I have no idea how much time past bye, but it felt like ten minutes (it could have been 3 XD) and I have three grapes in my hand really to throw them all. I chuck one at him and it bounce across the room and I decide I don't want to throw the other two, so I put them in my mouth and I got to pick that grape up. ... He then tells me to pick it up and once I pick it up he gets in my face and he tells me never do that again, so I think I am looking directly at him, so I split the chewed up grapes at him, but I only hit the side of his face and his shoulder and most of it misses ... That was the second time I spat at my Father (I've only spat at someone twice in my lifetime, both of them were at my Dad)

Um, I hope that counts as an insult, otherwise I have nothing ... Well, my Father indirectly insulted my intelligence many times by underestimating it, but I think this story was enough storytelling for this post 

*What is the most awkward thing you've ever witnessed or happened to you directly? What did you do?*
Um ... Off the top of my head ... I had a homosexual male friend grope my genitals for laughs in an elevator ... It happened so fast I did not do anything lol ... um idk ... Usually I'm the one trying to be awkward  (with my words )


----------



## Enfpleasantly

@Mr Meepers, your Dad sounds, not very nice...I'm glad you spit at him. Some people feel so icky about themselves inside, all they know how to do is try to bring others down to the same level of self hate they are on.


----------



## milti

Mr. Meepers said:


> *Are you attracted to short hair or long hair?*
> Usually long, but it depends on the cut ... I've seen some awesome short hair as well ^__^


Hmm I am seriously considering android's suggestion of a Halle Berry-like pixie cut. Maybeeee.



> *Do you think it's possible to be interested/ have a crush/ fall in love with someone you know only through internet and phone interactions?*
> Crushes ... Definitely :blushed::blushed::blushed:


:blushed: I know what you mean :blushed: :blushed: :blushed: Even infatuation perhaps. Damn internetz. Why can't we have like a portkey or something to transport us (internet beings) into the real world and actually SEE other people?
Apart from Skype, I mean. ^_^

Or the other way round perhaps  But I'm tired of virtual reality. I want REAL reality.


----------



## dizzycactus

milti said:


> More from Milti--
> 
> What if you and your love interest had completely different tastes in music? Would you spend a whole bunch of money on a ticket to see a concert with them?


Depends. Is it music I simply do not personally like, or is it music I find actively tortuous due to its worship of promiscuity, stupidity, arrogance and money, combined with a really smug tone from a singer that sounds like a clone of every other singer around at the moment, put over predictable repetitive choruses and one single, simple drum beat that is consistent throughout? I think I probably would for the first, but not the latter. 




milti said:


> Are you attracted to short hair or long hair?


I don't like very short hair, it looks masculine. 
Anything from about nose-length is nice. Medium length hair, maybe shoulder length, I like, or slightly shorter. It doesn't really matter so long as it isn't really short, though. 




milti said:


> Do you think it's possible to be interested/ have a crush/ fall in love with someone you know only through internet and phone interactions?


Yep. I know it's something that usually only idiots say, but I'm going to say I'm a million percent sure of that, lol. 



milti said:


> What is that one story about you from your childhood your mum likes to repeat?


Doesn't really do that, thankfully. I've heard a few times about how she'd ask me a question, and my loudmouth older sister would but in and answer it for me, while I just sat there and smiled lol. 




milti said:


> Is it okay if your partner does not know how to drive (or can't for whatever reason)? Would you mind very much if you had to do all the driving and transporting? Or would you not mind?


I'd like to think they would be willing to learn. It's not so much the work involved in it that would bother me, so much as the reason it is happening. I'm a bit paranoid about being taken advantage of, because I know I would do a lot for someone I cared about, and maybe they would be letting me do stuff on purpose, while they didn't really care about me that much. So, so long as she simply isn't not driving out of laziness, and she appreciates it, I'd be fine with it. 



milti said:


> How much do you know about grocery shopping?


I know I tend to wander through stores trying to decide what to eat. I don't like shopping in the daytime, though. Too many idiots. I may seem to wander about listlessly (at night, when there's not many others about), but when it's busier, I'm very alert of others. I try not to get in the way. Meanwhile, people are wandering down isles whilst busy in some sort of daze and completely blocking everyone else off. People with trolleys walk into me because they're not paying attention to where they're going. I think my shadow tends to come out during the day when shopping. I'm sharp, alert, decisive, quick. 



milti said:


> Do you save your money (if you work) in the bank? Do you help out your household with a bit of your income? Do you pay your taxes?


I'm still doing some student stuff, so just student loans at the moment. Bank. if I ever start making proper money, I might store most of it in gold or something. Something that I don't have to worry about rapidly depreciating if the economy collapses or something. That could be risky, though. Maybe I could bury it in the garden, like a pirate 




milti said:


> Thoughts on PDA - what are your limits? (public demonstration of affection)


Maybe a hug. I would try to convey affection in a non-obvious way. If we're talking about a girl, I would look intently into her eyes and smile, stuff like that which conveys an intense kind of message between us, without being overly apparent to others.


----------



## wiarumas

My wife was watching Merlin the other day and reminded me of this thread and hair. It's pretty much one of my favorite things on a woman and the show had plenty of them. Just grabbing a couple screens.


----------



## nevermore

Which gender of kid would you ideally like to have, if you could only pick one? (Assuming you haven't had kids yet, if so the gender of your kid is the right answer of course. :happy Do you have a preference at all?

(Apologies if this has been asked before...)


----------



## Hunny Bunny

Anyone know why guys pee is so... bubbly? It's always been a mystery to me.


----------



## nevermore

Hunny Bunny said:


> Anyone know why guys pee is so... bubbly? It's always been a mystery to me.


I don't think mine is bubbly?


----------



## android654

milti said:


> Hmm I am seriously considering android's suggestion of a Halle Berry-like pixie cut. Maybeeee.


You know you wanna...


----------



## wiarumas

nevermore said:


> Which gender of kid would you ideally like to have, if you could only pick one? (Assuming you haven't had kids yet, if so the gender of your kid is the right answer of course. :happy Do you have a preference at all?
> 
> (Apologies if this has been asked before...)


At least one boy and one girl. Boy first. So far so good.


----------



## wiarumas

Hunny Bunny said:


> Anyone know why guys pee is so... bubbly? It's always been a mystery to me.


The distance from us standing and the pressure of us shooting it out basically churns up the water and waste in the urine (fats, proteins, etc). Like ocean froth. Sea foam - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


----------



## HonestAndTrue

Mai Valentine said:


> Again, you're not a woman, so you wouldn't understand.


Understand as a woman? No. See it when a woman cannot? Yes.

The Girl Who Got Away

@_SoulShield_


* *








SoulShield said:


> I've been wondering for years: why do fools fall in love?


Matthew 15:14 "if the blind leads the blind, both will fall"





@_milti_


* *








milti said:


> There was this one guy who was emotionally really manipulative - "if you don't come out with me on my birthday I'll cut my wrists"
> 
> She dates a series of similar jerks, always hoping for her Mr Right to come along. How can you wait for a Mr Right when you're only going after the Mr Wrongs?


That can go both ways. One girl threatened to commit suicide if I didn't sleep with her. So being a nice guy I slept with her so she wouldn't.

You're not ready for Mr. Right until you already are Mrs. Right. And the reverse.





@_Enfpleasantly_


* *








Enfpleasantly said:


> More questions...
> 
> How important is it to you that a woman is fine with getting her hands dirty? (Camping, outdoors stuff, etc.)
> 
> If there's children, her hands will no doubt be dirtier than a guys. She shouldn't be afraid of dirt, or baiting her hook.
> 
> Have you ever really encountered a vagina that smelled like fish? Or smelled bad? What did you do? Did you keep going anyway, make an excuse to stop, leave, tell her?
> 
> Smelled like fish? No. Smelled bad? It varies but does it ever really smell bad? What did I do? Inhale and keep going. Sometimes at work you'll smell different women. If you use a bathroom after a woman does sometimes you'll smell, and even feel her on the seat. I'm sometimes jealous of dogs because they can just get right up in there.
> 
> Have you or would you ever taste your SO's breastmilk?
> 
> Yes.
> 
> Do you have any habits you would like to break?
> 
> Yes. Chinese food. caffeine, staying up too late, anxiety, certain types of OCD (perfectionism, needing certainty)
> 
> Do you think artists are weird?
> 
> Yes. Which probably makes them normal and I'm weird. I love artists, don't understand most art, and have a long deep hate for personally creating art.
> 
> 
> 
> HonestAndTrue said:
> 
> 
> 
> The art I hated was painting. I loved to mix colors but there was no reason or purpose to pick up the brush. "Paint what you want," they would say. But I don't want to paint anything. Others would complete their painting in ten minutes while I would still be staring at a blank white paper. I would eventually put brush to paper but I wouldn't call it art. One positive thing I can say for these classes is it helped me learn greater self-control. As the seconds would tick the intensity of the frustration, pain, and anger I would feel would grow. I wouldn't externalize but instead learned how to contain, suppress, and later let go. The thoughts I had ten minutes after class started I have no intention of sharing with anyone, if I get married not even my wife. Ten minutes after class ended I would be at peace again.
> 
> 
> 
> What is the most beautiful song to you?
> 
> There are beautiful songs that I avoid because they will instantly drive me to tears. This is a beautiful song that will get me to tear up, but that I don't avoid.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> You know the stereotype that men don't listen? Does this apply to you?
> 
> Huh? The stereotype is only true in as much that what we don't hear is what isn't said. You can't just say something in our presence either, you need to first get our attention. Second, maintain our attention for the duration of what you're saying. Third, have us say it back to you how we heard it. Fourth, confirm that what you said and what we said back to you are close enough.
> 
> You know the stereotype that women nag? Do you think this is true?
> 
> Yes. Yes.
> 
> What do you make of this?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Don't cross the streams.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> If someone was sitting near you on the couch and started repeatedly bouncing up and down so that the couch created a noise similar to a squeaky bed, would you think of sex?
> 
> If someone was repeatedly moving a straw in and out of a cup lid, would you think of sex?
> 
> If a girl put chocolate syrup on a banana and proceeded to lick it off, would you think of sex?
Click to expand...

I'd no doubt be thinking of sex before these three events even occurred. And these events wouldn't make me stop thinking of sex.




@_Enfpleasantly_


* *








Enfpleasantly said:


> Have you asked, or wanted to ask a SO how the size of your penis compares to her ex's?
> 
> Never trusted an answer. She has shared she bragged about my performance with friends and co-workers.
> 
> Do vaginas feel different or pretty much the same? If so, what makes them feel different?
> 
> Different. Then again the same one is never the exact same. Temperature and pressure.
> 
> What is your favorite gemstone? If you can't think of one you just like, think about jewelry on a woman, which stone do you tend to like?
> 
> Amethyst.
> 
> Do you think diamond wedding rings are overrated?
> 
> I think the cost of jewelry in general is, including diamond wedding rings. I actually have a loan out to a female friend and her collateral on repayment of that loan is her diamond wedding ring.
> 
> Do you think weddings and all the fluff associated with them are overkill?
> 
> The average wedding cost is 20-25k+ today. Yes, overkill. And rather than preparing for marriage they are preparing for a wedding. No wonder half of first marriages end in divorce.
> 
> What would be a good valentine's day gift to you? What could she do, or get you that would put a smile on your face?
> 
> Something that she'll know I'll like but I wouldn't expect. I may have said once or twice in passing, she remembered, and there it is.
> 
> Do you like sweet breakfast foods or meaty?
> 
> Both.
> 
> If your SO wanted to paint the ceiling in your bedroom to include a touch of glitter that would catch the light every once in a while, would you be ok with that? Think "Old Hollywood" style...gray elegance. Add to that maybe a non-over the top chandelier, would you be ok with that? Kinda like this:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Happy wife, happy life.
> 
> Would you go nude at a nude beach?
> 
> No.
> 
> Do you find trampolines irresistible?


When I was a kid I did.




@_milti_


* *








milti said:


> More from Milti--
> 
> What if you and your love interest had completely different tastes in music? Would you spend a whole bunch of money on a ticket to see a concert with them?
> 
> Yes. How is it different than opera vs football game?
> 
> Are you attracted to short hair or long hair?
> 
> Long hair.
> 
> Do you think it's possible to be interested/ have a crush/ fall in love with someone you know only through internet and phone interactions?
> 
> Yes.
> 
> What is that one story about you from your childhood your mum likes to repeat?
> 
> You ate everything put on your plate. You weren't a fussy eater.
> 
> Is it okay if your partner does not know how to drive (or can't for whatever reason)? Would you mind very much if you had to do all the driving and transporting? Or would you not mind?
> 
> If they are disabled, yes. If they just need training, no. Then again when we're both in the vehicle I'll be driving anyway.
> 
> How much do you know about grocery shopping?
> 
> I've forgotten more than I remember.
> 
> Do you save your money (if you work) in the bank? Do you help out your household with a bit of your income? Do you pay your taxes?
> 
> Yes. Yes. Yes.
> 
> Thoughts on PDA - what are your limits? (public demonstration of affection)


Breasts, Bluebeard, and Bluebeard's closet not in public. Butt and everything else I've done.




@_roughestimate_


* *








roughestimate said:


> So is my logic flawed? Are some guys just more in control of boners, because I have no idea why they'd want to be.


Depends. Are we in public. Some guys in public, and even during sex will put an image in their head of the most disgusting thing to lessen the arousal and maintain control or increase duration.




@_Enfpleasantly_


* *








Enfpleasantly said:


> What is the saddest song you have ever heard? Or one that makes you feel sad when you listen to it.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> What is the funniest video on Youtube to you?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Do you like to make people laugh, if so, what is your style of humor?
> 
> Yes. Catching people saying things that can be taken another way. Before someone went on a honeymoon they mentioned it was a place that had a scary story to it, so he was going to screw around with her. When he returned from his honeymoon he confessed he didn't screw around with her. It didn't scare her. It took a few times of me asking him the question in a clarifying manner before he realized the humor that I saw that first time he said it.
> 
> Can you think of a time you were greatly misunderstood and never allowed to give an explanation? Or there was no resolution?
> 
> Yes. See worst insult received below.
> 
> What to you are the danger signs that a relationship is falling apart?
> 
> You offering to do things and them declining your offer when they didn't before.
> 
> What do you think brings people in a relationship closer together?
> 
> Conflict resolution, which requires conflict.
> 
> Do you feel like there's anyone who understands you fully? If so, what is the person's relation to you?
> 
> Fully? no. One is family and two are friends.
> 
> Sex toys, fun or get in the way?
> 
> Depends what they are. Nipple clips, cock ring, maybe some others can be fun. Most just get in the way.
> 
> What is the nicest compliment you have ever received? Or one that stands out in your mind.
> 
> When the head of an entire continent for the company I work for shared how the CIO for the company I work for talked about me with him.
> 
> What is the worst insult you've ever received? Or one that stands out in your mind.
> 
> Actually someone on Perc with the words "You are now dead to me." Before that I have to go back to my yearbook where someone on the back page taking up the page wrote "DIE". No clue who wrote that in my yearbook.
> 
> What is the most awkward thing you've ever witnessed or happened to you directly? What did you do?
> 
> Friend had sex with his girlfriend in a hotel room thinking I was asleep on the other bed. I pretended to stay asleep until it was over and someone else entered the room from another room.






@_nevermore_


* *








nevermore said:


> Which gender of kid would you ideally like to have, if you could only pick one?


If only one a girl. If more than one the first a boy.




@_Hunny Bunny_


* *








Hunny Bunny said:


> Anyone know why guys pee is so... bubbly? It's always been a mystery to me.


Protein.


----------



## countrygirl90

This a little bit embarrassing :blushed: but often while I,m reading newspaper ,there are certain ads on classified section ,some of whom are about sexual problems of men ,I never really understood the meaning or concept of those diseases like ,Wet Dreams ,Premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction .The reasons given there are quite confusing too (more like censored for minors )
What actually happens in these cases ?
Is it common among men to have these problems ?
How open are men about discussing these problems with their family?
Do men feel inferior in these cases if they are suffering from these kind of problems ?


----------



## Who

*What is the saddest song you have ever heard? Or one that makes you feel sad when you listen to it.*
A lot of Pink Floyd songs. They were my dad's favorite band so it's just about impossible for me to listen to them without thinking of him. However, for something that's depressing on its own merits and not something that makes me sad due to the memories associated with it:






*What is the funniest video on Youtube to you?*
This is kind of geeky, but most of the Retsupurae videos where they make fun of bad games. I'm not as fond of their videos where they make fun of Let's Plays if only because some of the videos they make fun of are virtually unwatchable even with their commentary, but most of their other videos are usually hilarious to me. It's like Mystery Science Theater only for terrible video games.






*Do you like to make people laugh, if so, what is your style of humor?*
Yes. Like I said earlier, around my friends, I tend to be sarcastic. Although that's certainly not the only type of humor I have. It's just the only one that has a convenient label for it that I know of. It's hard to think about how to describe my type of humor because when I want to be funny I don't really try to follow some kind of set formula, I just say or do what amuses me at the time and hope people will laugh with me.

*Can you think of a time you were greatly misunderstood and never allowed to give an explanation? Or there was no resolution?*
I'm sure this has happened to me, but I can't really think of any specific examples.

*What to you are the danger signs that a relationship is falling apart?*
I don't think I've been in enough relationships to know what to look for. I guess lack of communication, intimacy, etc.

*What do you think brings people in a relationship closer together?*
Openness with each other, honesty, time together, etc.

*Do you feel like there's anyone who understands you fully? If so, what is the person's relation to you?*
I don't think about who understands me and who doesn't, so I'm not sure. I don't think of myself as particularly difficult to understand, but then again, no one is telepathic either, so I would need to understand their understanding of me to understand how to answer this question. Understand?

*Sex toys, fun or get in the way?*
They can be fun I guess. I don't need any foreign objects to get off, but if a girl I was with wanted to use one, I more than likely wouldn't be adverse to it.

*What is the nicest compliment you have ever received? Or one that stands out in your mind.*
I remember one person told me I should make a movie. Similarly, I've been told I should write a novel by multiple people. I have no idea why, but apparently some people find my anecdotes interesting/amusing enough to warrant a film or book or something.

*What is the worst insult you've ever received? Or one that stands out in your mind.*
My brother used to have this habit of going on pretentious rants about how he's the only one in our family that "thinks for himself" (as if that means anything besides being a loaded phrase to feel smarter than people you disagree with). During one of these I found especially pompous, I made some remark like "Maybe I'd think for myself too if you'd tell me what to think."

This made him a lot madder than I expected. He called me just about every curse word I know and started hitting me anywhere he could. Then he threatened to kill me and kept asking Mom to pull over (we were in the car at the time) so we could get out of the car and he wouldn't have to deal with awkwardly turning around in his seat to hit me. One of the few times I've ever been afraid for my life.

*What is the most awkward thing you've ever witnessed or happened to you directly? What did you do?*
I don't think there's anything more awkward than when someone comes into the room while you're masturbating. As far as I know, no one who has walked in knew what I was doing before they entered. Unless they're somehow _very_ laid back and would talk to me the same way whether they knew or not. Either way, every time it's happened, there's this very uncomfortable couple of seconds at first where you wonder whether they know or not.



countrygirl90 said:


> This a little bit embarrassing :blushed: but often while I,m reading newspaper ,there are certain ads on classified section ,some of whom are about sexual problems of men ,I never really understood the meaning or concept of those diseases like ,Wet Dreams ,Premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction .The reasons given there are quite confusing too (more like censored for minors )
> What actually happens in these cases ?
> Is it common among men to have these problems ?
> How open are men about discussing these problems with their family?
> Do men feel inferior in these cases if they are suffering from these kind of problems ?


I've heard of a theory that wet dreams are more common in guys that don't masturbate or do so infrequently. I know that appears to be true in my case; I got them somewhat often before I started and once I got into that habit, I've only had one or two. Although as far as I know, this theory has not been widely tested and is not even close to being confirmed, so take that with a grain of salt.

However, I do know that it's normal to get an erection during R.E.M. sleep. This is why most guys wake up with "morning wood." So when a dream is intensely sexual it's often difficult to stop something from coming out, especially since you're not awake to consciously make the effort to stop it.

As far as erectile dysfunction goes, many mental disorders are correlated with it, as are some medications like anti-depressants. Similarly, when a guy is under stress, it is often difficult (if not impossible) for him to get an erection. It's possibly the cruelest Catch 22 mother nature devised; sex relieves stress, but sometimes you're too stressed to have sex. There are also physical causes like aging, kidney and prostate problems, etc.

I'm not that well-read when it comes to premature ejaculation, but from the five seconds of Googling I did, it's apparently difficult to find out the exact cause. It seems to happen the most when the guy is trying out something (or someone) new, when it's been a while since their last ejaculation, etc.

In terms of how common they all are, wet dreams are more common among teens than adults. Personally speaking, it's something I've only encountered a couple times since puberty. Premature ejaculation is thought to be the most common sexual dysfunction in males, but estimates on exactly how common it is tend to vary. I'm not sure exactly how common erectile dysfunction is, but given all the Cialis, Enzyte, Viagra, etc., ads out there, it's probably pretty common as well.

As far as how open guys are about it goes, I don't really talk to my friends or family about that kind of stuff, partly because they don't tend to be a problem for me and partly because I don't really talk about sexual stuff with people I don't plan on having sex with (threads on the Internet notwithstanding). Although I do remember a rather awkward moment when I was a teen and I had to explain to my mom why I needed to wash my bedding the day after we washed it. I spared her the details of the dream, yet I still remember it.

In regards to your last question, it depends on the guy. Some guys do feel like "less of a man" if they feel like they can't perform to their ideal level. Especially if their significant other voices their dissatisfaction when they already feel self-conscious. But there are also some guys who try not to let it stress them out because they know stress only makes the problem worse.


----------



## phony

Did you deal with low self-confidence when you were younger (teens - 20s)? 
What advice would you give to somebody around that age / younger-you with low self-confidence?


----------



## milti

android654 said:


> You know you wanna...


Yeah, my hair isn't too long currently (chin length) but it's falling out a whole lot these days cause of being ill earlier last year. I'd much rather have short pixie hair to be honest because it's low maintenance and it's something I've had before (well, I had it in school and people made fun of me and called me boy  ) I'm also going to get my nose pierced soon. Will let you know how things turn out (*if* they do... I'm still dithering, lol)


----------



## android654

What movie are you most anticipating this year?

If you could commit any crime, with the knowledge that there would be no legal repercussions, what crime would you commit? Why?

Is there any woman (if you're gay) or man (if you're straight) that you would have sex with even though it does not line up with your orientation? Why?

If you were chosen by god(s) to decide how humanity must come to an end, which method of destruction would you use? Why this particular method of destruction?

What are three novels you would recommend a person to read if they wanted to get an in depth picture of who you are?

If you could become any mythical creature (vampire, siren, ghost, minotaur, etc.) which would you pick and why?


----------



## Meirsho

any reAL men watching the super bowl ? damn half time!!!atleast beyonce is sheXXY


----------



## android654

Meirsho said:


> any reAL men watching the super bowl ? damn half time!!!atleast beyonce is sheXXY


I was busy descaling and gutting fish after my date with my heavy bag. Guess I missed it.



> What movie are you most anticipating this year?















> If you could commit any crime, with the knowledge that there would be no legal repercussions, what crime would you commit? Why?


It would either have to be a high risk heist after an extremely valuable artifact or some kind of corporate espionage for the same end. Both are probably the highest penalizing non-violent crimes the world over.



> Is there any woman (if you're gay) or man (if you're straight) that you would have sex with even though it does not line up with your orientation? Why?


Idris Elba









Jeffrey Dean Morgan












> If you were chosen by god(s) to decide how humanity must come to an end, which method of destruction would you use? Why this particular method of destruction?


Robot Apocalypse. Not only does it give people an opportunity to survive it all it also gives people the ability to fix the world with advanced technology and the knowledge of where we went wrong with the direction of the world.



> What are three novels you would recommend a person to read if they wanted to get an in depth picture of who you are?












This book is very telling about the kind of person that I am in that it reflects how I deal with people.










It chronicles what I believe is fundamentally wrong with the vast majority of people, especially people in America.










Originally titled "Men who Hate Women" by Stieg Larsson highlighted the fundamental problem in western society of fusing religious fundamentalism with sexual oppression as well as the silence towards domestic violence and the rippling affect it has on a person's psyche decades down the road. It's something I think people ignore for the sake of "common courtesy" to other people's sensitivities but it's ultimately more important to point out than it is to avoid stepping on a few toes.



> If you could become any mythical creature (vampire, siren, ghost, minotaur, etc.) which would you pick and why?


Definitely vampire. Since a child I've always loved the metaphor for a vampire's existence and the self-destructive nature of man. The addiction to blood, the need to sacrifice others in order to stay alive, the subconscious need for vanity, the thrill of finally getting a fix, all of these are things that I think are inherently human and makes this the most identifiable fictitious creature in all of literature. There's also the sexual component that always caught my eye, a component that is vital to the way they need to stay alive. The victim succumbs to their persuasion, they penetrate the body, exchange fluids, one person's body goes limp while the other develops a high from the whole exchange. A Very intoxicating thing to take part in.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

What is the cheesiest song you've ever heard?

What is the most shameless excuse you've ever given to get out of work, (if you've ever done it)?

Are you brand loyal to a particular product? If so, why? 

Are you against any brand for a particular reason?

Would you say you are tactful with people IRL? 

Can you take a sip of water while hopping up and down on one foot?...without spilling? 

It's your Birthday, what flavor cake and icing do you want? 

What is the craziest thing you've ever done? Looking back, are you surprised you did it?


----------



## wiarumas

countrygirl90 said:


> This a little bit embarrassing :blushed: but often while I,m reading newspaper ,there are certain ads on classified section ,some of whom are about sexual problems of men ,I never really understood the meaning or concept of those diseases like ,Wet Dreams ,Premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction .The reasons given there are quite confusing too (more like censored for minors )
> What actually happens in these cases ?
> 
> *men put a lot of emphasis on sex so any issues are a big deal to their ego. Likewise, there will always be people to profit off people's insecurities.
> 
> Wet dreams - sex dream where the man orgasms. Common in teens from what I heard. Never had them myself - never been able to reach orgasm no matter what I do in dream. It's actually pretty frustrating and usually tips me off that its a dream. I would imagine its not a big deal other than potentiall embarrassing to those who find the stain, clean the sheets, etc.
> 
> Premature ejaculation - there was a post before mentioning how easily aroused are men and should a girl take it personal if he doesn't get aroused easily. Well it goes both ways because a man can be too excited over a girl that they orgasm very easily (sometimes even before entry - like in their pants). Its like an extreme example of a 1 minute man or whatever that slang was. Then for those of us with normal sexual function, there is that tip to think about baseball to distract them from orgasm so they last longer. Because a girl with her legs spread moaning is just too hot to last for that 20 minutes or whatever for female orgasm. It's all the same thing just different levels of desentization really. But those who cannot last might view themselves as inferior to those who can.
> 
> Erectile dysfunction - the polar opposite of premature ejaculation. The man cannot even get it up to do the deed. Happens for various reasons - health, alcohol, drugs, mental (nervousness, anxiety, etc). I've also heard of combined issues. Like the man is nervous about his premature ejaculation that he can't get it up. Men don't control there erections so even though they want to have sex, it sometimes doesn't cooperate. This has happened to me before once or twice with heavy drinking (typically liquor). What I've done is just foreplay until I sober up enough to do the deed.
> 
> Refer to dead Kennedys- too drunk to fuck.
> *
> Is it common among men to have these problems ?
> 
> *i think it's common enough, but not extremely prevalent. I think that it's uncommon enough for these men to feel inferior to normal sexual function but not uncommon enough that these problems be viewed as weird or rare. There is a large industry profiting off these people that wouldn't exist if we were all porn stars with masterful erections and undying stamina. *
> 
> How open are men about discussing these problems with their family?
> 
> *family? Like parents? Never. Family as in SO? They probably would know about it and hopefully willing to talk about it. Apparently it's brought up a lot in doctors appointments from what I heard from my wife (family/pediatrics). *
> 
> Do men feel inferior in these cases if they are suffering from these kind of problems ?
> 
> *probably. I can't speak on the topic personally since I'm for the most part normal in sexual function, but I would imagine any sexual shortcoming would be viewed negatively by men. Like I said, there is a lot of importance placed on sex for men so they take it personal of they can't deliver the goods to a potential mate/partner. *


In quote


----------



## wiarumas

phony said:


> Did you deal with low self-confidence when you were younger (teens - 20s)?
> 
> *no, I had the opposite problem of an over abundance of confidence. I think I actively sought out punches to my face to put things in perspective. *
> 
> What advice would you give to somebody around that age / younger-you with low self-confidence?
> 
> *its a state of mind. You control it. You need to decide to be confident. Most confident people have nothing to be confident about other than self acclaimed importance so why shouldn't you? If you can't just summon a set of nuts, give yourself a reason to have confidence. Dismiss or work on your insecurities then empower your strengths. Identify these things then plan ways to inprove them. Maybe start with low hanging fruit to snowball to larger challenges. Going to the gym, dressing well, a new pair of shoes, getting a degree, a promotion, bowling in the 200s, writing a song, getting an article published, I've even heard of perfume/cologne giving people a sense of potency. Think what you can do and then follow through with it.
> 
> *


In quote


----------



## Death Persuades

Enfpleasantly said:


> What is the cheesiest song you've ever heard?
> 
> *I believe in a thing called love by The Darkness. Cheesy... but awesome *
> 
> What is the most shameless excuse you've ever given to get out of work, (if you've ever done it)?
> 
> *I don't feel like working today...*
> 
> Are you brand loyal to a particular product? If so, why?
> 
> *AMD! Because why pay more for the same?*
> 
> Are you against any brand for a particular reason?
> 
> *INTEL! Because why pay more for the same?*
> 
> Would you say you are tactful with people IRL?
> 
> *Sometimes..*
> 
> Can you take a sip of water while hopping up and down on one foot?...without spilling?
> 
> *Not at all *
> 
> It's your Birthday, what flavor cake and icing do you want?
> *
> Umm... None? Let's go do something instead  take me somewhere I've never been before.*
> 
> What is the craziest thing you've ever done? Looking back, are you surprised you did it?


Ran across the highway back and forth with cars coming! D: It was entertaining and I didn't die  and yes... very surprised.


----------



## wiarumas

android654 said:


> What movie are you most anticipating this year?
> 
> *i don't know any movies expected to be released this year. Is the second hobbit expected in 2013? Probably that then. *
> 
> If you could commit any crime, with the knowledge that there would be no legal repercussions, what crime would you commit? Why?
> 
> *i would steal a large sum of money (as in billions). It would yield a lot of opportunity that would dwarf any other crimes results. *
> 
> Is there any woman (if you're gay) or man (if you're straight) that you would have sex with even though it does not line up with your orientation? Why?
> 
> *gay sex doesn't do anything for me so I don't think I would want to have sex with any man. But there are a couple dudes I find attractive. It's more of an admiration than attraction though. *
> 
> If you were chosen by god(s) to decide how humanity must come to an end, which method of destruction would you use? Why this particular method of destruction?
> 
> *something instant like a gamma ray burst. I wouldn't want anybody arguing over the reason or cause of it. Annoying. Hearing people say bad things are punishment for our immoral actions is probably the most agitating thing that can come out of a persons mouth. *
> 
> What are three novels you would recommend a person to read if they wanted to get an in depth picture of who you are?
> 
> *sun tzu art of war, fight club chuck palahnuik, and pat the bunny. *
> 
> If you could become any mythical creature (vampire, siren, ghost, minotaur, etc.) which would you pick and why?
> 
> *i would be a Titan because its the most badass mythical creature/race. Biting necks, crashing boats, guarding mazes don't come close to warring with Gods. *


In quote


----------



## wiarumas

Meirsho said:


> any reAL men watching the super bowl ? damn half time!!!atleast beyonce is sheXXY


Watched the superbowl, but put a toddler to bed during the halftime show.


----------



## Kyandigaru

if your family was curious with who you are dating, how long would it take u to introduce your girlfriend that you love?


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> What is the cheesiest song you've ever heard?
> 
> *lipgloss be poppin? Something like that? I think there is one about chicken noodle soup too?*
> 
> What is the most shameless excuse you've ever given to get out of work, (if you've ever done it)?
> 
> *allergic reaction to sunburn relief lotion or something. I got super itchy and had to stay in the shower. *
> 
> Are you brand loyal to a particular product? If so, why?
> 
> *not really. When I think brand loyal I think consistency. A few companies come to mind. Apple for example. I think a lot of people give apple a hard time about their quality and premium pricing. They don't get it. It's not because they are the best (they aren't), it's because nothin they make sucks. I like asus, but when I bought my wife a new laptop a couple weeks ago, I had to research what asus laptops were good and which ones were lemons. The specs don't always represent the build and construction so it's a tough call and a leap of faith sometimes. That is the appeal of apple and that is one reason I like them. You pay a premium, but you have confidence that you are getting a solid product. Im not brand loyal though - I can just appreciate quality when it's due. Maybe slightly to lands end spread collar dress shirts, orient watches, Johnson Murphy shoes, hickey freeman suits and I spent enough money at Victoria secret on my wife to probably be considered loyal to their brand. *
> 
> Are you against any brand for a particular reason?
> 
> *im not a fan of citi bank for poor customer service. To a lesser extent, Comcast. I think that's about it. Only companies that have their cons outweigh their pros off the top of my head. I'm sure I could think of others though. *
> 
> Would you say you are tactful with people IRL?
> 
> *im about 80% tactful and 20% abrasive. I'm tactful enough that I get away with my quirks. I don't go out of my way to be a jerk. It's an accident and usually respond well if I get notified of my actions. Also, there is a degree of what I say not matching up with how I'm perceived. I admit im a bit stubborn. But ask my wife and shell roll her eyes to the question and my answer haha. *
> 
> Can you take a sip of water while hopping up and down on one foot?...without spilling?
> 
> *never tried but probably. I have a big mouth. *
> 
> It's your Birthday, what flavor cake and icing do you want?
> 
> *red velvet. Wouldn't mind chocolate either. And can't go wrong with ice cream cake. *
> 
> What is the craziest thing you've ever done? Looking back, are you surprised you did it?
> 
> I've done a lot of crazy things but nothing stands out as a good story. Oh, I have something funny - not really crazy. Ever hear of that rapper wiz khalif something or other? I, of all people, hung out with him before he got famous lmao. Same with Tucker Max. I dont know who either of them are really, but looking back, it's funny because of them being famous and not really having much in common with them.


In quote


----------



## wiarumas

Kyandigaru said:


> if your family was curious with who you are dating, how long would it take u to introduce your girlfriend that you love?


I would probably introduce before love. My parents never really had influence on my adult life so it's more of an FYI than needing approval/validation from them. I would probably introduce when given the chance - even if it was a week into knowing her. I wouldn't go out of my way though. Just when the opportunity presents itself.


----------



## android654

Enfpleasantly said:


> What is the cheesiest song you've ever heard?







It's because of people like this the radio isn't worth listening to.



> What is the most shameless excuse you've ever given to get out of work, (if you've ever done it)?


I lied about a fictitious family member dying to get three days off from my job so I could tag along with a friend of mine and cheer him on at 2 separate gigs in another state.



> Are you brand loyal to a particular product? If so, why?


I go through a lot of hand wraps and used to buy exclusively from Mexican companies since that's generally the gold standard for that kind of thing, very old school sort of a wrap without the velcro strap people use for convenience. It's generally better sewn and keeps my fingers from spraining.



> Are you against any brand for a particular reason?


POM. They claim to be a "health food" company but test their foods on pit bulls and cats. It's not something I'm okay with, even more so than their false claims of producing healthy food. 



> Would you say you are tactful with people IRL?


I've been told often enough that I'm more charming than anything else, which was hard to believe since what goes on in my head is anything but "charming." When I heard enough times I found how to use it effectively, not meaning that I go around manipulating people but have learned to defuse a situation with little trouble by simply speaking.



> Can you take a sip of water while hopping up and down on one foot?...without spilling?


If I'm drinking out of a water bottle, then yeah.



> It's your Birthday, what flavor cake and icing do you want?


Can I get the kind with a pretty lady inside, the kind who has made more than a few bad decisions in her life, pops out while I act surprised that people who know me would get such a cake? If not, probably something German and chocolate.



> What is the craziest thing you've ever done? Looking back, are you surprised you did it?


Sexually or not? 'Cause I've got some stuff for both.



Kyandigaru said:


> if your family was curious with who you are dating, how long would it take u to introduce your girlfriend that you love?


It would take a long time for me to decide I feel that way about anyone. Even so, I don't bring girls home to mom. It's no one's business and I could care less what family thinks about it.


----------



## searcheagle

Hunny Bunny said:


> Anyone know why guys pee is so... bubbly? It's always been a mystery to me.


lol. Liquid leaving at high pressure and hitting the water in the bowl. Nothing special. It's just pee. We don't have any "bubble" chemistry in it.


----------



## Hunny Bunny

searcheagle said:


> lol. Liquid leaving at high pressure and hitting the water in the bowl. Nothing special. It's just pee. We don't have any "bubble" chemistry in it.


Dunno. I'm kinda buying into the "protein" thing. :wink:


----------



## Death Persuades

Jennywocky said:


> A ten-minute warning, to get the place straightened up a little, would help. Although I know that kind of ruins the "surprise." *eeep*


Why straighten it up a little? Partners doing something they normally wouldn't just because I am going to their house (or anything else, really, like a girl who never wears dresses but decides to because she thinks I might like it more) is kind of a turn off. I guess I just want something genuine... Not something that feels forced.

Besides. With the wild parties we'll be throwing, cleaning is kind of pointless.


----------



## Jennywocky

josue0098 said:


> Why straighten it up a little? Partners doing something they normally wouldn't just because I am going to their house (or anything else, really, like a girl who never wears dresses but decides to because she thinks I might like it more) is kind of a turn off. I guess I just want something genuine... Not something that feels forced.


it's a reflex thing. Not asking to make it look "perfect," but when I've left clothes strewn on the floor and other junk because I thought I had privacy, and then someone invades the privacy... 

I'm not sure why you're evaluating "geniuineness" on the basis of someone wanting five minutes to get things out of the way. If it makes you feel better, you can chalk it up to "nesting instinct."


----------



## Death Persuades

Jennywocky said:


> it's a reflex thing. Not asking to make it look "perfect," but when I've left clothes strewn on the floor and other junk because I thought I had privacy, and then someone invades the privacy...
> 
> I'm not sure why you're evaluating "geniuineness" on the basis of someone wanting five minutes to get things out of the way. If it makes you feel better, you can chalk it up to "nesting instinct."


By genuine I mean like... The person not having to worry about impressing me. If I am going to a girls house, she doesn't have to, because she already did.


----------



## Jennywocky

josue0098 said:


> By genuine I mean like... The person not having to worry about impressing me. If I am going to a girls house, she doesn't have to, because she already did.


Well, that's where the misunderstanding is. She's doing it for her, not for you.


----------



## Death Persuades

Jennywocky said:


> Well, that's where the misunderstanding is. She's doing it for her, not for you.


I don't understand. She cleans her house for herself because I am visiting her? Wouldn't she do it for her whether or not I visit?


----------



## android654

josue0098 said:


> I don't understand. She cleans her house for herself because I am visiting her? Wouldn't she do it for her whether or not I visit?


*sigh*

The privacy is hers. You're disrupting it by coming unannounced. The way things were existed for her convenience and now she has to reorient herself because the conditions have changed.


----------



## Jennywocky

josue0098 said:


> I don't understand. She cleans her house for herself because I am visiting her? Wouldn't she do it for her whether or not I visit?


Maybe you can run a poll and see how many women like having someone dropping in unanounced vs having a moment to straighten up first.


----------



## Death Persuades

android654 said:


> *sigh*
> 
> The privacy is hers. You're disrupting it by coming unannounced. The way things were existed for her convenience and now she has to reorient herself because the conditions have changed.


Can you not reply to any of my posts again? I'm tired of your condescending attitude.



Jennywocky said:


> Maybe you can run a poll and see how many women like having someone dropping in unanounced vs having a moment to straighten up first.


Hm. I'll just take your word for it. I've started too many threads today. Or maybe I will... I will. lol


----------



## Jennywocky

josue0098 said:


> Hm. I'll just take your word for it. I've started too many threads today. Or maybe I will... I will. lol


That's the spirit!


----------



## JaySH

josue0098 said:


> Can you not reply to any of my posts again? I'm tired of your condescending attitude.
> 
> Not that he needs me to (or even wants me to) but, I'll respond with my opinion. He often posts very matter of fact. The "sigh" was an expression of frustration, I believe, at your not getting it, still. Not sure I see it as condescending, at all. I'm also not sure what you don't get. @android654 and I have rubbed eachother the wrong way a few times but, he's pretty insightful. You should try to at least take his perspective. I do, whether I agree or not, as it's valuable.
> 
> I'm much like your GF. If I was home alone and wanted to leave my trail of clothes on the floor on the way to the bathroom, for a shower, then walk around my house naked while skipping and flailing Pom-Poms (no, I don't really do this), I want to be able to without an unexpected interruption. It's rude to just "stop by". And I certainly wouldn't want anyone, romantic interest or otherwise, to see my clothes all over the floor because it would embarrass me. It has nothing to do with impressing another as much as not having to feel uncomfortable for my place being out of sorts. And, that isn't something I wouldn't normally do...I normally don't leave a trail of clothes, or have company with crap strewn everywhere....but, in my own alone time, in my place of solace, I should be able to, without worrying about unexpected invasions.
> 
> I agree with him. Its a disruption of her privacy. Ever pick your nose? (we all have, don't lie:tongue. Would you in front of her? If not, why? You'd act different in front of her? If she walked in on you in the bathroom doing it, would you be embarrassed? Would you wonder why she hadn't knocked? If the answer is yes to most of these questions, maybe you'll now understand her position. Just because your messiness doesn't bother you or make you uncomfortable doesn't mean others feel the same. And, surely there are things you'd prefer privacy for (even if it isn't picking your nose).
> 
> It's the cell phone age...Suggestion:
> 
> Call first.
> 
> Btw, hi everyone
> 
> And, android, I meant no disrespect. Hopefully you didn't take it as such.


----------



## android654

JaySH said:


> And, android, I meant no disrespect. Hopefully you didn't take it as such.


Nah. You've got to try extra hard to offend me.

Good points, but there's also there's an introvert factor to consider. People that are deeply in INXX territory like their space and unless we're hankering for a good dose of interaction we'd rather be in control of our space. I'm not a messy person by any means, I'm actually pretty anal with how I keep things at my place, but I always prefer to go see someone or if our group is meeting up to meet at someone else's place than to come over to mine. Not that I've got anything to hide but it's kind of my little spot in the world and I like to keep it that way.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

So, valentine's day is almost here, did you get anything for the SO yet? Have any plans made yet? 

Are there any words that make you cringe? If so, please list 

If you could catch a falling star, would you put it in your pocket?

If you and your SO were stranded out in the desert without any water and you had to resort to drinking urine, would you rather drink your own, or each others? 

Is there anything seemingly common that other people can do (like whistle, cross eyes, blow bubbles with gum, etc.) that you just can't do? 

What is your favorite candy bar? 

Do you like tea? If so, what flavors do you like? 

Are there any fictional characters you could see yourself falling in love with if she were real? If so, who? 

What do you think makes people afraid of rejection when it comes to approaching the opposite sex, or the sex they are interested in? What do you think makes some people avoid experiencing rejection, in other words?

If you had to define humanity and our existence in this world, what would you say?


----------



## wiarumas

Jennywocky said:


> A ten-minute warning, to get the place straightened up a little, would help. Although I know that kind of ruins the "surprise." *eeep*


Maybe that's the motivation. See the girl in her natural, unprepared habitat. 

And I obviously posted that before reading the last 1 and a half pages haha.


----------



## android654

Enfpleasantly said:


> So, valentine's day is almost here, did you get anything for the SO yet? Have any plans made yet?


That's a big fat nope.



> Are there any words that make you cringe? If so, please list


The word ****** used to bug me so much when I was younger. For some reason the way it sounds when it's coming out of someones mouth used to bug me. But now I don't care and it's just another word.



> If you could catch a falling star, would you put it in your pocket?


And pay another fine to the space police? No thank you.



> If you and your SO were stranded out in the desert without any water and you had to resort to drinking urine, would you rather drink your own, or each others?


You will forever be known as a strange woman for asking this question. I don't see the point in swapping pee jars. If we've got to drink piss I just hope she drinks a lot of water, for her sake.



> Is there anything seemingly common that other people can do (like whistle, cross eyes, blow bubbles with gum, etc.) that you just can't do?


I can't think of any but it reminds me of a friend of mine. He had some kind of accident as a kid and the front end of his tongue was so damaged that doctors had to cut off a portion and reshape the remainder of his tongue. You wouldn't know by looking at it that anything happened, but it's incredibly short and he can barely touch the outside of his lower lip with it. I don't know why, but this question made me think of that.



> What is your favorite candy bar?












It's white chocolate to be specific. It's German and so much different than anything we get here in the states. It's almost like you can taste the difference in how it's processed. It's a bitch getting it though.



> Do you like tea? If so, what flavors do you like?


Green and Lemon. Lemon mostly when I'm sick, which is once a year if I'm unlucky enough to get sick.



> Are there any fictional characters you could see yourself falling in love with if she were real? If so, who?


Bad question to ask an INFP. For the sake of brevity I'll keep it to the three that I think I could see happening.

Tara Maclay (INFP)









She's extremely introverted and on the surface doesn't appear to be much more than that. However, once she opens up to a single person she proves herself to be a profoundly intelligent and deep person who has this whole universe of thought within her. Its the kind of trait that could keep me ensocelled for years on end.

Lisbeth Salander (ISTP)









Not only is she ridiculously intelligent and resourceful she's an unbelievably strong individual that makes her one of the best heroes in literature. While she started life as a victim, of her father, her mother's inability to protect her, men looking to take advantage of a young girl, she eventually rewrote the course of her life. She rewrote the textbook on revenge when she found herself the victim of another sadist while not completely denying the existence of worthwhile people who proved that she was cared for. A complete outsider to the practically everyone in the novels she only makes room for those that matter.

Carrie Mathison (IXTX hard to type because she's bipolar)









Incredibly obsessive yet unbelievably passionate. She's someone with a mission and a very deeply set sense of justice, what is important along with an instinct that allows her to read people with zero difficulty. Constantly she has to prove her worth, despite pulling through countless times before, she never loses sight of what she knows to be important. Despite being obsessive with every aspect of her career she still somehow manages to put it aside and be intensely passionate with the man who she knows to be at the center of the conspiracy she's investigating. That willingness to sacrifice everything that you have for someone is extremely rare and the combination between persons for it to come out are even more so.

I'm not sure I like what this says about me. 



> What do you think makes people afraid of rejection when it comes to approaching the opposite sex, or the sex they are interested in? What do you think makes some people avoid experiencing rejection, in other words?


I think it's one of our ape traits that's impacted by to social constructs we've built around us. 2 million years ago men would probably worry only about their virility and strength while women would be concerned with fertility and rearing for about 10 years or so. Now those requirements have been expanded upon to a billion little things and have another billion other things attached. I think when you realize all of that and feel like you come up short you begin to feel apathetic. And like with any other thing in life where you feel powerless you simply give up. It becomes pointless to some people because they've effectively convinced themselves that they are destined to fail even before they begin.



> If you had to define humanity and our existence in this world, what would you say?


I think it can be summed up in three words: sad, fleeting, painful.


----------



## Death Persuades

Enfpleasantly said:


> So, valentine's day is almost here, did you get anything for the SO yet? Have any plans made yet?
> 
> *I would have if I had a SO. :/*
> 
> Are there any words that make you cringe? If so, please list
> 
> *Not really. I like words.*
> 
> If you could catch a falling star, would you put it in your pocket?
> 
> *O_O Only if I wanna die....*
> 
> If you and your SO were stranded out in the desert without any water and you had to resort to drinking urine, would you rather drink your own, or each others?
> 
> *I can't answer this because I have no SO.*
> 
> Is there anything seemingly common that other people can do (like whistle, cross eyes, blow bubbles with gum, etc.) that you just can't do?
> 
> *Wiggle their ears!!! >_>*
> 
> What is your favorite candy bar?
> 
> *Hmm... Not sure... Butter finger?*
> 
> Do you like tea? If so, what flavors do you like?
> 
> *YES! I like chamomile and cherry and green tea with lemon and earl grey and... OMG AND PEARL JASMINE!*
> 
> Are there any fictional characters you could see yourself falling in love with if she were real? If so, who?
> 
> *Fluttershy.... *
> 
> What do you think makes people afraid of rejection when it comes to approaching the opposite sex, or the sex they are interested in? What do you think makes some people avoid experiencing rejection, in other words?
> 
> *This happens to me... But not necessarily because I am romantically interested. It happens with everybody, regardless of gender... I just don't like the feeling of rejection, so I avoid it... :/*
> 
> If you had to define humanity and our existence in this world, what would you say?


*Beautifully fucked up.*


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> So, valentine's day is almost here, did you get anything for the SO yet? Have any plans made yet?
> 
> *phew. This is going to sound bad because its overboard. But mostly because we didn't do much for Christmas this year because her finances didn't allow it, so I decided to defer some purchases over until Vday.
> 
> About $200 stuff from Victoria secret (nothing bad - all comfy pajamas and a bra she wanted... Sounds like a lot but that place is expensive and they charge an arm and a leg for shipping). A "pretty" apron from flirty aprons because her last one got ruined and she had to use an old one to make christmas cookies this past year (again, not suggestive, she legitimately wanted it), a thing of perfume (Calvin Klein euphoria blossom), and dinner reservations at a high end bistro downtown. Probably going to grab some flowers too on the way home. *
> 
> Are there any words that make you cringe? If so, please list
> 
> *nope. I don't like some medical stuff though. Talking about organs and whatnot. Nothing specific however. *
> 
> If you could catch a falling star, would you put it in your pocket?
> 
> *yes, and sell it later. Probably worth something. *
> 
> If you and your SO were stranded out in the desert without any water and you had to resort to drinking urine, would you rather drink your own, or each others?
> 
> *my own. *
> 
> Is there anything seemingly common that other people can do (like whistle, cross eyes, blow bubbles with gum, etc.) that you just can't do?
> 
> *i can't do cartwheels, dive into a swimming pool, or say the alphabet backwards. *
> 
> What is your favorite candy bar?
> 
> *caramel and chocolate ones. Like caramelo (sp?). *
> 
> Do you like tea? If so, what flavors do you like?
> 
> *not a big fan. I don't mind chai however. *
> 
> Are there any fictional characters you could see yourself falling in love with if she were real? If so, who?
> 
> *yes, i specifically remember saying so, but I can't think of any at the moment. I may have to come back to it. Sometimes the girl I'm not supposed to like - like the villain or slut. Oops. *
> 
> What do you think makes people afraid of rejection when it comes to approaching the opposite sex, or the sex they are interested in? What do you think makes some people avoid experiencing rejection, in other words?
> 
> *lack of confidence and insecurities. And avoidance of confirmation in their own self assessment. It's a self fulfilling prophecy as if they want to weed themself out of the pool of prospective mates. *
> 
> If you had to define humanity and our existence in this world, what would you say?
> 
> *pompous species overestimating their own dominance of this planet and value in the universe. *


In quote


----------



## Wellsy

Enfpleasantly said:


> *So, valentine's day is almost here, did you get anything for the SO yet? Have any plans made yet?*
> Nope.
> *Are there any words that make you cringe? If so, please list *
> None that i'm aware of. Visuals are more cringe worthy than the thought of something.
> *If you could catch a falling star, would you put it in your pocket?*
> Sure, i'd like to have a meteorite.
> *If you and your SO were stranded out in the desert without any water and you had to resort to drinking urine, would you rather drink your own, or each others? *
> Geez, I know im not dying of thirst but is there even much hydration from piss. It's waste isn't it? But if im going bear grylls on it, i probably just drink my own I dont see why we want to drink one anothers.
> *Is there anything seemingly common that other people can do (like whistle, cross eyes, blow bubbles with gum, etc.) that you just can't do? *
> I can't whistle too welland I can't click my fingers, people are shocked about the clicking part.
> *What is your favorite candy bar?*
> Caramello Koala
> *Do you like tea? If so, what flavors do you like?*
> Yes, I generally only drink English Breakfast. I drink other teas if i order some when im out of course if they dont have it.
> *Are there any fictional characters you could see yourself falling in love with if she were real? If so, who? *
> Not really, but I suppose I had a bit of a crush on Bridgette Monynahan in I,Robot. But part of that is obviously in how attractive she is, tied into to her characters personality.
> *What do you think makes people afraid of rejection when it comes to approaching the opposite sex, or the sex they are interested in? What do you think makes some people avoid experiencing rejection, in other words*?
> I suppose it can be a bit crushing as it's like you're the meal being dished up and you're not accepted, I imagine people of course take it personally. They think there's something necessarily wrong with themselves more than other factors that influence's one's decision. Some people are more influence to avoid negative experiences than take the risk for reward, some people see a big enough reward and weigh the risk. I'm in the former i'd say, a bad feeling isn't warmly welcomed in any form.
> *If you had to define humanity and our existence in this world, what would you say?*


Built to suffer, some are poor examples of humanity and others, Giants among mankind. The biases that naturally occur in people leave a lot of cynicism for the success of people as a whole and we rely on the discoveries of greater people than ourselves. But amongst everything there's still a lot of good people just getting by who can make our existence here so much better than going through it alone.


----------



## Mai Valentine

Master Mind said:


> "If she forgets to take it, he's f'ed?"
> 
> What, is he unable to put on a condom or something?
> 
> I've never had sex without a condom, and I've been just fine. I have no kids anywhere, which people have regarded as unusual. If you and/or your partner don't want kids, then it's the responsibility of the party(parties) that don't want them to take the necessary preventive precautions. Which means me wearing a condom. Which _doesn't_ mean only her taking birth control. It's called taking responsibility. Which many people aren't willing to do.
> 
> And it's stupid to put all the onus on the woman for birth control. When it comes down to it, you're only going on faith. The reality is that you have no idea whether she's taking birth control or not unless you actually see her taking it, which I'm guessing most men (none?) don't do. Example: my sister wanted kids, while her boyfriend didn't. He didn't wear condoms because "he didn't like how they feel." So she stopped taking birth control and kept buying pregnancy tests, hoping each time that it would be positive. If an unwanted pregnancy results, you have no grounds for complaint if you didn't uphold your end of the deal to prevent it from happening. If I don't wear a condom and get a woman pregnant, then it's my own damn fault. It was completely preventable had I simply put on a condom. But since I've always worn a condom regardless of what she's doing, I've never had a unwanted pregnancy. Funny how that works.


No condoms suck for guys. Sex probably feels half as good with a condom as it does without it. I personally am on birth control, and I think that women that tell their man that they are on birth control and then don't take it are bitches.


----------



## Sgt. Callahan

Mai Valentine said:


> No condoms suck for guys. Sex probably feels half as good with a condom as it does without it. I personally am on birth control, and I think that women that tell their man that they are on birth control and then don't take it are bitches.


 I agree with you private Mai! all those women who lie about birth control are mean and heartless! You sound like a woman after my own heart. = )


----------



## Mai Valentine

Sgt. Callahan said:


> I agree with you private Mai! all those women who lie about birth control are mean and heartless! You sound like a woman after my own heart. = )


Umm...no. You're not getting anywhere near my vagina.


----------



## Wellsy

Enfpleasantly said:


> If you had $1000000 (or the equivalent) to donate to any charity, which would it be? Why?
> *Not sure, I don't know too many charities but with such large amount im sure I could get charities to explain to me what they foresee the money achieving, the amount of people it'd help, their goal and all that. *
> 
> What is the oddest request anyone has asked of you?
> *I haven't got anything in mind as odd that stands out, generally I keep to myself and suspect when someone is asking something of me wondering why they're asking me. Sometimes it's been simple like helping out with a car or what ever but nothing weird thus far.*
> 
> What do you like about personality theory?
> *It's a common language for people to discuss an understanding of why they are certain ways, though I think MBTI is too broad to be valid in some of the things people try and connect it to, it certainly seems to have some interesting points in how people's personality comes out and works internally.*
> 
> Is there any critter or creepy crawly you are afraid of or disgusted by? What do you do when you come across one unexpectedly? *I'm not grossed out, I dont want to be covered in bugs but I can handle a spider crawling on me I generally just brush them off. More recently a tiny tiny bug got inside my laptop screen and died on my bottom taskbar. *
> 
> Have you ever experienced an embarrassing moment involving an erection? Please tell...
> *Dancing with a girl and being so close that it was easy to tell.*
> 
> Can you think of a time you were very uncomfortable/uneasy in a situation/conversation? What did you do?
> *Not specifically but there have been times i've been tired and very anxious. One day I was happy as can be, felt like I was floating as I walked almost that day. Next day I went to university and I made eye contact with 3 separate girls on the way to class and it freaked me out. My heart was racing and I just didn't feel good.*
> 
> What style socks do you typically wear?
> *Ankle socks if i'm wearing shorts, but lately I've got a long of long socks that go up my calf which I wear with my jeans.*
> 
> If you like eggs, how do you like them cooked?
> *I don't often eat eggs by themselves though I like them in Chinese rice and burgers.*
> 
> If you could change your name, what would you want it to be? Have I asked this already? Haha!
> *If I had to change my name, maybe from Tom to John because I like the name John but then again that just sounds like a pain in the arse to change my name now and I like Tom. *
> 
> If you had to pick a porn name, what would yours be?
> *Ah not sure, I suppose if I wanted to Keep Tom in it, something like the nickname Tommy Gun *
> 
> If you suddenly became very famous, what would it likely be for?
> *The victim of one of the most brutal murders in Australian history hahaha I can't think of anything I do that would lead to fame and I don't like the spotlight.*
> 
> If you had to choose one color of the rainbow, which would it be?
> *Green*
> Do you think our world/existence is a part of a bigger world/existence? Why or why not?


*Nope, of all the things that exist in our universe we're the exception in that we're alive. We're insignificant and the Universe doesn't care about our existence.
Us being here seems to be in the same chances of winning the lottery, extremely unlikely but still possible. 
Some of the most abundant chemicals in the universe seem to be the building blocks of what makes up most of us, things like oxygen, hydrogen, carbon. Especially when you got a whore-ish chemical like Hydrogen to spark reactions, no surprise something came of a cocktail of these chemicals somewhere, we just happen to be the result.
*


----------



## BigDaddyPalpatine

Mai Valentine said:


> You know, I'm an ungodly aggressive person in real life and I try really hard to tone it down for this forum. However, when I get talked to like that by some random person, IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF!


I love a woman with an attitude  That's a GREAT ONE! Heh heh heh


----------



## 7rr7s

countrygirl90 said:


> 1.why are men so fascinated with ejaculating over the breasts or face of a woman during orgasm ?
> 
> *I think it has to do with a dominance thing, or like marking territory thing. Like dogs or wolves will mark territory by urinating on a wall or pole, same sort of logic, although I'm not sure how sound that theory is. In any case, it's mostly **an unconscious thing.
> *
> 2.How do straight men feel about prostate stimulation ?does it make them feel less manly or gay ?


Not my thing, but if it feels good do it. Fuck if it makes you feel gay or something. Now pegging is a different story...





Enfpleasantly said:


> If you had $1000000 (or the equivalent) to donate to any charity, which would it be? Why?
> 
> *Probably Missionaries of Charity, the order Mother Teresa started. I really admire what they do, and they were the ones who took care of me when I was in an orphanage. *
> 
> What is the oddest request anyone has asked of you?
> 
> *Hmmm. Probably when I was asked to RP incest fantasies. *
> 
> What do you like about personality theory?
> 
> *It's damn interesting, and alot of fun getting to know people. I like seeing how people think differently from the way I do. It gives me a fuller perspective of things. *
> 
> Is there any critter or creepy crawly you are afraid of or disgusted by? What do you do when you come across one unexpectedly?
> 
> *Worms, maggots, and any sort of insect with no legs or too many legs. I freak out whenever I see them. I used to have really bad panic attacks when I had to work after it had rained. I would have to haul boxes through parking lots, and there would be worms everywhere and it was absolute hell, but I've gotten better at the fear though.*
> 
> Have you ever experienced an embarrassing moment involving an erection? Please tell...
> 
> *Plenty! Hmmm... church, school, morning wood at a friend's place, work. Embarrassing moments pop up all the time. XD.
> 
> One of the most embarrassing ones, was when I got super hammered with my ex, when she stayed the night. I was living at home at the time, and we had been going at each other **all day. My friend was trying to reach me, but I wasn't answering my cell, so he called the house. My mom knocked on my door, said I had a phone call, and I answer it, drunker than hell, fully nude and erect, grab the phone and shut the door.
> 
> That next morning was one of the awkwardest moments of my life.
> *
> Can you think of a time you were very uncomfortable/uneasy in a situation/conversation? What did you do?
> 
> *I used to get social anxiety, **like just waiting around for class to start, or waiting in line, or things like that.* *I would get real fidgety. I've worked on this though, and I don't really get too uncomfortable anymore. I'm kind of glad it happened in a sense, because it made me work on myself. *
> 
> What style socks do you typically wear?
> 
> *White cotton socks casually, black dress socks for work and with dress pants. *
> 
> If you like eggs, how do you like them cooked?
> 
> *FERTILIZED.  I LOVE eggs, any style! Scrambled, deviled, in an omelet, **hard boiled, over easy, in a salad, with steak, anything. This is the appropriate time for some egg jokes. You'll crack right up!
> 
> What do you call 8 million eggs living together on an island?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> New Yolk City.
> 
> 
> *
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> It's a pretty hard boiled town.
> 
> 
> *
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :laughing:
> 
> 
> *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> and they have
> 
> 
> *
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *a strict no poaching policy. *:tongue:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> If you could change your name, what would you want it to be? Have I asked this already? Haha!
> 
> *Loll I don't remember! I really like the names Adam, Julian, and Damien. So probably one of those. *
> 
> If you had to pick a porn name, what would yours be?
> 
> *According to the trick, of first pet combined with the street you grew up on, it would be Pumper Charlesworth. *
> 
> If you suddenly became very famous, what would it likely be for?
> 
> *Music and writing. Down the line, perhaps motivational/public speaker. And then possibly a leaked sex tape. *
> 
> If you had to choose one color of the rainbow, which would it be?
> 
> *It would be something that's Kind Of Blue. *
> 
> Do you think our world/existence is a part of a bigger world/existence? Why or why not?


Yeah, I think there is something bigger going on. Call it God, or the universe, the cosmos, or what you will, but I definitely believe there is a force that we are barely able to comprehend. Life is very fragile, and to think that all of this, coming together is just coincidence is an absurd concept to me. There are bigger powers involved. To tap into that energy has been a lifelong pursuit of mine, and I think alot of people are waking up to the potential of tapping into that power. That may sound new agey, but I think in the next century or so, we will see alot of advancement into the human potential, and harness a greater awareness of our origins as well as our destination as a race.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Do you like wine? If so, what is your favorite kind?

Do you have a favorite dish that you order from a restaurant? If so, what is it? Or do you tend to try something new most of the time? 

Post a video of something that impresses you.

What do you think of the Einstein quote: "creativity is intelligence having fun"?

What do you think of the Marcus Antonius quote: "the happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts"?

Can you lay on your back and put your legs up to the point where your toes touch the floor above your head?

Did you have an imaginary friend as a child? If so, what kind of creature was it and what was its name?


----------



## dizzycactus

Enfpleasantly said:


> Do you like wine? If so, what is your favorite kind?


Not really. But I don't really drink much alcohol these days. Coffee ftw. I do like a bit of port, though. And a little Islay single malt scotch. 



> Do you have a favorite dish that you order from a restaurant? If so, what is it? Or do you tend to try something new most of the time?


I'll usually try something new, but a few times now, from a certain restaurant, I've had the same thing. Steak santa fe. It's not even the steak that's the best bit, it's the santa fe sauce and the battered jalapenos to dip in it. 


> Post a video of something that impresses you.









> What do you think of the Einstein quote: "creativity is intelligence having fun"?


I think there's something to it, but it seems a little over-simplified. 



> What do you think of the Marcus Antonius quote: "the happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts"?


I think that's definitely untrue. I'm more liable to follow this:
"To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost."
On some level, the intelligent are never completely content. It takes a limited scope of perception to be satisfied. 
Although, I can't help but think of one person that I could maybe be really happy with. 


> Can you lay on your back and put your legs up to the point where your toes touch the floor above your head?


Depends on how high a bed I am lol. I think so. 


> Did you have an imaginary friend as a child? If so, what kind of creature was it and what was its name?


Not that I remember. One time, I had a dream, and I had a friend in it, when I was a child. But, as dreams sometimes do, there was a whole context of memories and feelings already set up for me. Upon waking, I grieved for the loss of my friend for quite a while, for it was almost as if my mind, within the dream, made that friend as important to me as could be, for some reason. Like we had an extremely deep bond, and he was almost like some aspect of nostalgia itself made flesh, something infinitely familiar, as if I had always known him, even before I was born. heh, saying that, it almost sounds religious.


----------



## Wellsy

Enfpleasantly said:


> Do you like wine? If so, what is your favorite kind?
> *I haven't tried many wines but the ones i've had a taste of were dreadful to my tastebuds. Not in my preferences at all. But im also not big on drinking, well I should say when I go to parties and am drinking I generally intend to get drunk but outside of that there is no other purpose to drink alcohol to me, it's not a fine taste.
> *
> Do you have a favorite dish that you order from a restaurant? If so, what is it? Or do you tend to try something new most of the time?
> *There's a turkish bistro called Pizzaland and I never order a pizza there. I really enjoy their simple turkish bread which is really thick cheese and tomato sauce, sounds pretty plain but to me it's sooo good.*
> 
> Post a video of something that impresses you.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *I can't believe this guy is so busted but so dedicated to trying to play it off. I'm impressed by his stupidity and commitment.*
> 
> What do you think of the Einstein quote: "creativity is intelligence having fun"?
> *I do believe that geniuses aren't necessarily high on IQ tests, they are productive even when they're making crap, they are very creative thinkers in that they are able to take different perspectives that most of us struggle with. I'd say their kind of thinking is the sort of thinking that can create great results but isn't rewarded in most education systems, it'd have to be pretty progressive to notice the talent of such creative thinking. So geniuses aren't defined by how much they know but how they think when presented with problems.
> *
> What do you think of the Marcus Antonius quote: "the happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts?
> *This fits well with my current view, for me personally the times ive been most down in my life when I wasn't equipped with how to deal with negative thoughts. That bullshit i'd tell myself when I was down, inspired by negative feelings leading to the worst of thoughts. It's the difference between the person who loses their legs and kills themselves and the person who still maintains quality life. Often though I think a lot of our happiest moments are from times shared with other people, you can certainly enjoy things greatly alone but to me this far in life it seems that people are the most important aspect of living and are the ones who make it all worthwhile.
> *
> Can you lay on your back and put your legs up to the point where your toes touch the floor above your head?
> *You mean the wall behind me? Yes I can do that.*
> 
> Did you have an imaginary friend as a child? If so, what kind of creature was it and what was its name?


.
*I think I might've for a little while, a imaginary dog I don't remember anything about it but my parents mentioned it to me one time. Can't remember the name.*


----------



## William I am

Have you got a good/great/reliable way to ask people out to date or find out if they're single? Just asking directly seems to scare a lot of people off.


----------



## wiarumas

In quote



Enfpleasantly said:


> Do you like wine? If so, what is your favorite kind?
> 
> *not my favorite, but I like it especially when paired well. Favorite is probably Riesling, some moscatos, and port wine. *
> 
> Do you have a favorite dish that you order from a restaurant? If so, what is it? Or do you tend to try something new most of the time?
> 
> *i typically develop favorites at certain restaurants, but not favorites overall. So every restauatant i have 2 or 3 fallback dishes i go to if i cant find something new, which I tend to try to do most of the time. If I had to list my favorite dish ever, it would probably be the chicken bellagio at Cheesecake Factory or this seafood pasta dish (scallops, shrimp, etc) at this small restaurant near my house. *
> 
> Post a video of something that impresses you.
> 
> *i can't because I'm on a phone right now, but I would have to say it would be robotic prosthetics. Specifically hand prosthetics where the user is able to control the hand with his brain, use varying levels of pressure, grasp objects, and be agile enough to tie shoes, handle eggs, etc. *
> 
> What do you think of the Einstein quote: "creativity is intelligence having fun"?
> 
> *i think it's sometimes true. I've seen creativity without intelligence and I've seen intelligence with no creativity, so its not an absolute statement and varies case to case. Although I value intelligence with creativity more than without either. *
> 
> What do you think of the Marcus Antonius quote: "the happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts"?
> 
> *i think it's mostly true. Happiness, sadness, etc all come from perspectives coming from the brain/thoughts, which you have control over. *
> 
> Can you lay on your back and put your legs up to the point where your toes touch the floor above your head?
> 
> *i haven't tried in a long time. I used to. Probably still able to. Probably a better question for the ask a woman thread, hoping they have recent experience in that position mwahaha. *
> 
> Did you have an imaginary friend as a child? If so, what kind of creature was it and what was its name?
> 
> *nope. I always had real life friends because I grew up in a neighborhood with a lot of kids my age. My sister on the other hand not only had imaginary friends, there was at least a dozen of them and they had bizarre names like "Bridge". *


----------



## wiarumas

William I am said:


> Have you got a good/great/reliable way to ask people out to date or find out if they're single? Just asking directly seems to scare a lot of people off.


State it in a way that you are assuming they do as a probe to see if they do or don't have a boyfriend.

"Have you seen any movies lately?" ...no... "Oh, your boyfriend doesn't take you?"

Maybe throw in a compliment followed by a "well there is this movie I want to see this weekend, I'd love if you came with me."

Or maybe something like that. It's been a while.


----------



## android654

Enfpleasantly said:


> Do you like wine? If so, what is your favorite kind?


I'm not the biggest drinker in the world and can't really remember the last time I bought a bottle of wine.



> Do you have a favorite dish that you order from a restaurant? If so, what is it? Or do you tend to try something new most of the time?


I'm a very picky eater and I'm pretty choosy about where I will and wont go out to eat. If I do I often stick to what I know I'd like or something that sounds like I would like. I'm not that adventurous with food unless I'm the one cooking it.



> Post a video of something that impresses you.


This is off the top of my head but Jason Yang is one of the best violinists I've heard and can't wait to see his performance on the Colbert Report tomorrow.






Also this






This one impressed me less because of the science and how it worked and more because of how... "happy" I felt for her when seeing it. It's one of the very few videos I can say that makes me feel something every time I watch it.



> What do you think of the Einstein quote: "creativity is intelligence having fun"?


I think that's a positive way to think about and definitely something that could be better communicated to young kids trying to understand how they should look at things and interpret them. More problems would be solved if people attempted to look at the world in a more creative way.



> What do you think of the Marcus Antonius quote: "the happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts"?


This could possibly be true, but I feel that it's only something that's true for the most common and simple of people. I don't mean that as an insult when I say it --it's not intended to be an insult but I'm aware that some may see it as such-- but I think the less convoluted or complex a person is the less it takes to sustain any kind of feeling, whether it be happiness, love, fear or hate. 



> Can you lay on your back and put your legs up to the point where your toes touch the floor above your head?


Not without lifting the small of my back off of the floor.



> Did you have an imaginary friend as a child? If so, what kind of creature was it and what was its name?


No. I never imagined a single character that I took with me everywhere. What I do remember doing was creating different characters almost on a daily basis. They would mirror my moods and their personality would be my way of addressing those moods. My imagination was way too big for my own good as a kid.



William I am said:


> Have you got a good/great/reliable way to ask people out to date or find out if they're single? Just asking directly seems to scare a lot of people off.


The same way you would invite a friend to go somewhere. Asking someone out is only as complicated as you make it. Unless you're inept when it comes to talking to women she will understand what you're getting at even if you think you're being sly. There are more intuitive women than men, so you don't have to lay it on thick to get your message across.


----------



## dizzycactus

android654 said:


> There are more intuitive women than men, so you don't have to lay it on thick to get your message across.


According to this site
MBTI Proximity Chart at MROB
A higher proportion of males are N than women.


----------



## android654

dizzycactus said:


> According to this site
> MBTI Proximity Chart at MROB
> A higher proportion of males are N than women.


I was speaking from personal experience. Women often know how to interpret people's motives better than men do, but everyone's equally stupid when it comes to reacting to them.


----------



## dizzycactus

android654 said:


> I was speaking from personal experience. Women often know how to interpret people's motives better than men do, but everyone's equally stupid when it comes to reacting to them.


sounds more like F to me. 

Then again, the legions of women who end up dating guys that abuse them might indicate otherwise. Seem to get suckered in by an act easily enough.


----------



## wiarumas

Basically what I'm reading is, generally speaking based on anecdotal evidence, women are better at analyzing persons intent in the present or short term (ie, reading people, developing a person to person connection) but lack the foresight or rational approach to prospective partners (actual motive - is this guy good for me, will it work out, can I change him, etc).


----------



## android654

wiarumas said:


> Basically what I'm reading is, generally speaking based on anecdotal evidence, women are better at analyzing persons intent in the present or short term (ie, reading people, developing a person to person connection) but lack the foresight or rational approach to prospective partners (actual motive - is this guy good for me, will it work out, can I change him, etc).


Essentially what I was trying to say but you did so more clearly.


----------



## dizzycactus

wiarumas said:


> Basically what I'm reading is, generally speaking based on anecdotal evidence, women are better at analyzing persons intent in the present or short term (ie, reading people, developing a person to person connection) but lack the foresight or rational approach to prospective partners (actual motive - is this guy good for me, will it work out, can I change him, etc).


that seems reasonable. 
They are very externally sociable, but they don't often seem to really understand the larger rational context. Like, an abusive guy, when he thinks he will lose her, puts on a good show, by saying blatantly obvious transparent things like he loves her, maybe even some moronic attempt to imitate emotional depth/spirituality, and she gets caught up in it, focuses on that moment alone, without realising how it really fits into things.


----------



## 7rr7s

Enfpleasantly said:


> Do you like wine? If so, what is your favorite kind?
> 
> *I like red wine. Usually cabernets or merlots. *
> 
> Do you have a favorite dish that you order from a restaurant? If so, what is it? Or do you tend to try something new most of the time?
> 
> *There's a place I frequent that has really good Oyster Rockefeller. It's one of my favorite things to eat, and you don't see it alot around here, so I always get that when I'm there. Aside from that, I usually stick with what I know I like.*
> 
> Post a video of something that impresses you.
> 
> *I'm always in awe of great musicians, and this is one of the many times I've gotten chills listening/watching a performance.
> *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> What do you think of the Einstein quote: "creativity is intelligence having fun"?
> 
> *Yeah that about sums it up. Creative people are very intelligent, and creativity isn't restriced to just the arts either. Einstein himself viewed things in a very creative way, and so did alot of other scientists and anyone who has made significant innovations. *
> 
> What do you think of the Marcus Antonius quote: "the happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts"?
> 
> *He knew what was up. The way you think dictates the way you act, and what you feel. When you think negative things, you will get negative manifestations in your life. If you choose a positive mindset, every problem or setback can be reframed as an opportunity for growth and learning.
> 
> In a way, I kind of view it like Shrodinger's Cat. Schrödinger's cat - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Your reality and your future isn't bad or good, it depends on how you look at it. You can choose to see the negative aspects of it, or choose to see the positive ones. Why choose the one that will only bring you down? Focus on the positive and create your reality from that mindset and watch life go your way.*
> 
> Can you lay on your back and put your legs up to the point where your toes touch the floor above your head?
> 
> *Loll no. I can;t even do a handstand. XD.*
> 
> Did you have an imaginary friend as a child? If so, what kind of creature was it and what was its name?


He was a red lego brick names Little Dennis that I played with for maybe about a week. 



William I am said:


> Have you got a good/great/reliable way to ask people out to date or find out if they're single? Just asking directly seems to scare a lot of people off.


Well, you can be observant. Are they wearing a ring? Are they with another guy? Are they out alone at a bar on a Saturday night? This can give you some clues, but it's best just to ask. I usually just ask directly instead of beating around the bush. If it scares them off, they would have been wasting your time anyways.


----------



## android654

dizzycactus said:


> that seems reasonable.
> They are very externally sociable, but they don't often seem to really understand the larger rational context. Like, an abusive guy, when he thinks he will lose her, puts on a good show, by saying blatantly obvious transparent things like he loves her, maybe even some moronic attempt to imitate emotional depth/spirituality, and she gets caught up in it, focuses on that moment alone, without realising how it really fits into things.


How did we get here from talking about how to ask someone out?


----------



## dizzycactus

android654 said:


> How did we get here from talking about how to ask someone out?


someone said something about females being more intuitive and understanding motives better lol


----------



## android654

dizzycactus said:


> someone said something about females being more intuitive and understanding motives better lol



Yeah but I think it was elaborated upon a few more times than it warranted.


----------



## phony

Ningsta Kitty said:


> How do you tell a man their ensemble is a problem and not feel bad about it?
> 
> As in, they're wearing a striped tie and a striped shirt.* Or they're mixing black and brown in an outfit. *Checkers with stripes or vertical and they're 6'4" or they want to make a statement about how they're so "secure" and walk out wearing a baby powered pink dress shirt. And in your head you're screaming _"Nooooooooooo!"_ but you don't say anything because you just _"know"_ that no matter how Rico Suave their response is, they're feeling a little embarrassed. That slight ego deflate that's like a piece of paper being crumpled in the expression in their face. Sometimes the response is "I don't care" and they grin and bare it, walking away but you can just see it in their look. That's the worst. Because you know the whole day he's looking at everyone wondering if anyone else agrees subconsciously/telepathically. Other times they listen and laugh it off, and you're happy they listened but feel terrible just the same. Just curious how it might be appropriate to tell a man he dresses Rodney Dangerfield terrible. In other words, when it's necessary.


What's... what's wrong with black and brown... :,l


----------



## searcheagle

Ningsta Kitty said:


> :blushed: I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. I'm bored


Yep, this thread missed your "boredom.":tongue:


----------



## searcheagle

Ningsta Kitty said:


> How do you tell a man their ensemble is a problem and not feel bad about it?
> 
> As in, they're wearing a striped tie and a striped shirt. Or they're mixing black and brown in an outfit. Checkers with stripes or vertical and they're 6'4" or they want to make a statement about how they're so "secure" and walk out wearing a baby powered pink dress shirt. And in your head you're screaming _"Nooooooooooo!"_ but you don't say anything because you just _"know"_ that no matter how Rico Suave their response is, they're feeling a little embarrassed. That slight ego deflate that's like a piece of paper being crumpled in the expression in their face. Sometimes the response is "I don't care" and they grin and bare it, walking away but you can just see it in their look. That's the worst. Because you know the whole day he's looking at everyone wondering if anyone else agrees subconsciously/telepathically. Other times they listen and laugh it off, and you're happy they listened but feel terrible just the same. Just curious how it might be appropriate to tell a man he dresses Rodney Dangerfield terrible. In other words, when it's necessary.


I wish I could tell you... But too often I'm Rodney Dangerfield. :dry::frustrating:


----------



## wiarumas

KindOfBlue06 said:


> A few questions for @wiarumas
> 
> 1. How do you/have you dealt with growing older? What were you like as a young man? Do you still see yourself that way?
> 
> *Im still a relatively young man - born in the early 80s. I'm not the type to unexpectedly age and not realize it. I constantly keep time/age into consideration as I map out my life. I also dont think i put labels and expectations for myself. I always went by the beat of my own drum. Although I realize I am older than I once was - not nearly as in shape, on a completely different sleep schedule, can't drink as much - there are also pros that have come to fruition over the years. I'm much more improved, refined, smarter, well rounded, fatter 401k, etc. *
> 
> 2. Where did you read that article about agressive drivers? It sounds interesting.
> 
> *i can't find it unfortunately. I think I read it on flipboard or saw it on twitter. I'm pretty sure I'm not making it up haha. Essentially what happens is that traffic gets backed up because people are polite and complacent. These pockets form where they drive in impassable formation. Aggressive drivers force the formations to shift and become passable for non-aggressive drivers. *
> 
> 3. Did you paint the picture in your avatar?
> @Enfpleasantly painted it.


In quote


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> How do you tell a man their ensemble is a problem and not feel bad about it?
> 
> As in, they're wearing a striped tie and a striped shirt. Or they're mixing black and brown in an outfit. Checkers with stripes or vertical and they're 6'4" or they want to make a statement about how they're so "secure" and walk out wearing a baby powered pink dress shirt. And in your head you're screaming _"Nooooooooooo!"_ but you don't say anything because you just _"know"_ that no matter how Rico Suave their response is, they're feeling a little embarrassed. That slight ego deflate that's like a piece of paper being crumpled in the expression in their face. Sometimes the response is "I don't care" and they grin and bare it, walking away but you can just see it in their look. That's the worst. Because you know the whole day he's looking at everyone wondering if anyone else agrees subconsciously/telepathically. Other times they listen and laugh it off, and you're happy they listened but feel terrible just the same. Just curious how it might be appropriate to tell a man he dresses Rodney Dangerfield terrible. In other words, when it's necessary.


I don't, but I judge. Fashion didn't come naturally to me and everyone gets a free pass, but at some point you have to wonder how they didn't pick it up/learn by a certain age... Or they simply do not care. Either way, it can say something about a person and its not a positive. 

I'm guessing this is a real life scenario and you are in a position to say something? Just flat out tell him. Say, "i wouldnt wear black with that" or "wear a solid tie instead." Don't worry about deflating his ego, it will help him in the long run. Better coming from a person close to him than a stranger. And I doubt he'll apply the knowledge and regret his fashion past. Maybe be optimistic about looking sharper in the future.


----------



## WamphyriThrall

Any advice for first time renters? Especially those in their early 20s studying full time and working part-time.


----------



## nevermore

wiarumas said:


> I don't, but I judge. Fashion didn't come naturally to me and everyone gets a free pass, but at some point you have to wonder how they didn't pick it up/learn by a certain age... Or they simply do not care. Either way, it can say something about a person and its not a positive.


Not per se, but I think it's also important to keep in mind why they would be doing it. Sometimes they're trying hard to send a message (which can impact negatively, depending on what their aim is), but sometimes they just might feel like wearing an odd outfit that doesn't suit them/anyone, or just doesn't blend. They might be thinking "ooh, this is cool" and the fact it is tacky will go right over their heads. It needs to be pointed out that people are going to respond to certain ways to their outfit, and yes it sucks for them, but for their own good you want them to improve their look a little.

I mean, it should be pointed out, and I think it's natural to judge to some degree, but I don't think it _always_ says something particularly bad about a person, just personally.

(Depending on what aspect of fashion you're talking about. Outright sloppiness, depending on the setting, can be unacceptable, but I get the feeling this has more to do with aesthetics?)


----------



## wiarumas

phony said:


> What's... what's wrong with black and brown... :,l


Every fashion rule can be broken. The issue is, it is difficult to do so. Black and brown are neutral colors that match nearly everything but each other for the most part. It depends on the fabric and shade, but fashion noobs like myself, I just stay away.

Typically you can go with a black theme or brown theme. At the fundamental level, shoes and belt should match. Ie, if you wear black belt, wear black shoes (and watch strap - all leathers match is the general rule). Brown shoes, brown belt, etc.


----------



## wiarumas

WamphyriThrall said:


> Any advice for first time renters? Especially those in their early 20s studying full time and working part-time.


Get a roommate, sign a short term lease, make the first place temporary until you know the area better and can conduct a more thorough search for the place you want to spend a considerable amount of time at. Likewise, pack, live, and move light. You don't want to be moving stuff all over the city when you switch jobs or find a better area to commute from to class, etc.


----------



## 7rr7s

Ningsta Kitty said:


> How do you tell a man their ensemble is a problem and not feel bad about it?
> 
> As in, they're wearing a striped tie and a striped shirt. Or they're mixing black and brown in an outfit. Checkers with stripes or vertical and they're 6'4" or they want to make a statement about how they're so "secure" and walk out wearing a baby powered pink dress shirt. And in your head you're screaming _"Nooooooooooo!"_ but you don't say anything because you just _"know"_ that no matter how Rico Suave their response is, they're feeling a little embarrassed. That slight ego deflate that's like a piece of paper being crumpled in the expression in their face. Sometimes the response is "I don't care" and they grin and bare it, walking away but you can just see it in their look. That's the worst. Because you know the whole day he's looking at everyone wondering if anyone else agrees subconsciously/telepathically. Other times they listen and laugh it off, and you're happy they listened but feel terrible just the same. Just curious how it might be appropriate to tell a man he dresses Rodney Dangerfield terrible. In other words, when it's necessary.


Allright Ningsta, I'll tell ya, the way you let someone knows these things best, is indirectly. Talk about a "friend of yours" who's made some bad fashion choices, ect. If they are wearing a black belt with brown shoes and wearing purple pants or something off the wall ect, tell them about your friend with bad fashion sense, or better yet, tell them how much you love it when a guy wears matching colors like black belt with black shoes and watch ect. 

One other way to do this is say you were reading GQ at a doctors appointment the other day and you read an article about blah blah blah never wear horizontal stripes or something.

Basically let them know where they can improve, but allow them to save face, and talk to them positively. Trust me, if they know what's up, they will improve.


----------



## petite libellule

KindOfBlue06 said:


> Allright Ningsta, I'll tell ya, the way you let someone knows these things best, is indirectly.


Hahah!!!! I'm here to tell you, it's been tried. And it's not true. :tongue:

*it is my opinion that deep down inside every man is a little boy in super man pj's ruling his world.
he has no idea  some fortunate ones have a female if their life that might "suggest" a tie ... *


----------



## 7rr7s

@wiaramus For some reason I thought you were alot older. Damn shame you couldn't fine that article. I would have cited it to the cop on my next ticket. That's a hell of painting @_Enfpleasantly_ did. What sort of stuff do you usually paint, and what kind of art are you into?


----------



## petite libellule

KindOfBlue06 said:


> @wiaramus For some reason I thought you were alot older.


 that's probably because his feedback is articulated from a pretty mature stand point. Leading me to a "concept" or rather question.

I find for the most part, that men younger than me or obscenely older than me fancy me. The majority of single men in my age group don't tend to get along with me as smoothly. There's typically more unnecessary conflict. (conflict is inevitable but you know, there's a difference between typical conflict and unnecessary conflict) anyways, the question is why? 

Now I'm not talking primarily romantic interest. Just on a friend level. 

I get along incredibly well with my little brother and all the guy friends he grew up with, as well as the men in that age group. And I also have more septuagenarian friends than anyone I have ever met! 
It's weird!!! So what's up with that? :tongue:


----------



## 7rr7s

Ningsta Kitty said:


> that's probably because his feedback is articulated from a pretty mature stand point. Leading me to a "concept" or rather question.
> 
> I find for the most part, that men younger than me or obscenely older than me fancy me. The majority of single men in my age group don't tend to get along with me as smoothly. There's typically more unnecessary conflict. (conflict is inevitable but you know, there's a difference between typical conflict and unnecessary conflict) anyways, the question is why?
> 
> Now I'm not talking primarily romantic interest. Just on a friend level.
> 
> I get along incredibly well with my little brother and all the guy friends he grew up with, as well as the men in that age group. And I also have more septuagenarian friends than anyone I have ever met!
> It's weird!!! So what's up with that? :tongue:


So basically you are a badass? Tell me something I don't know Ningsta.


----------



## petite libellule

KindOfBlue06 said:


> So basically you are a badass? Tell me something I don't know Ningsta.


What?! Lol! Thank you, very flattering but I was being sincere. 
Maybe I'm giving off a weird thirty something vibe


----------



## wiarumas

KindOfBlue06 said:


> @wiaramus For some reason I thought you were alot older. Damn shame you couldn't fine that article. I would have cited it to the cop on my next ticket. That's a hell of painting @_Enfpleasantly_ did. What sort of stuff do you usually paint, and what kind of art are you into?


I get the older thing a lot. Even in my career, Im usually working with people in their 40s and 50s who get a bit freaked out when they find out my age. Or laugh when I refer to someone else as "the young guy" simply because the guy in his mid 40s is the second youngest person. 

I usually don't paint. I can fairly well, I just don't. I have a tendency to create landscapes and stuff like that. I dont take it too seriously and there isnt much heart in my work. Its pretty literal. I painted a cartoon styled coral reef all over my son's walls for example. Maybe I'll upload a pic of it later. 

I like art that shows a different perspective than my own. A world through another's eyes that shows something I don't see. The more revealing and thought inspiring, the better. Salvador Dali is probably the epitome of the art I value. Crazy mofo, but that is what I call art, and no doubt one of the reasons he was so successful at it. Perhaps because it is something I could never do because I don't see the world like that, but can appreciate his skill at it.


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> that's probably because his feedback is articulated from a pretty mature stand point. Leading me to a "concept" or rather question.
> 
> I find for the most part, that men younger than me or obscenely older than me fancy me. The majority of single men in my age group don't tend to get along with me as smoothly. There's typically more unnecessary conflict. (conflict is inevitable but you know, there's a difference between typical conflict and unnecessary conflict) anyways, the question is why?
> 
> Now I'm not talking primarily romantic interest. Just on a friend level.
> 
> I get along incredibly well with my little brother and all the guy friends he grew up with, as well as the men in that age group. And I also have more septuagenarian friends than anyone I have ever met!
> It's weird!!! So what's up with that? :tongue:


This is actually a weak spot of mine. I'm good at telling people what to do in a situation, but not at the theoretical reasoning of well, people and relationships. The only advice I can give is to avoid becoming a fetish. For the younger, you may carry the older sister fetish, or the young 30ish milf type. For the older, your youth can be a fetish. As for the people your own age, why do you not get along with them? Do you consider yourself more nature, less mature, interests differ, different life path etc? 

And once you figure it out, let me know too haha.


----------



## wiarumas

@KindOfBlue06


----------



## petite libellule

wiarumas said:


> This is actually a weak spot of mine. I'm good at telling people what to do in a situation, but not at the theoretical reasoning of well, people and relationships. The only advice I can give is to avoid becoming a fetish. For the younger, you may carry the older sister fetish, or the young 30ish milf type. For the older, your youth can be a fetish. As for the people your own age, why do you not get along with them? Do you consider yourself more nature, less mature, interests differ, different life path etc?
> 
> And once you figure it out, let me know too haha.


 interests and life goals differ. I consider myself more mature but bare in mind I'm fairly infj and so much of my difficulties are with regards to temperament incompatibility, maybe. Or maybe I'm just a terribly difficult person to get along with  

Much older people, both men and women click well with me and they enjoy my insight and company and learning from my experience/perspective. They enjoy giving advice too. Often times it feels more like a pseudo parent friend over "fetish". (Not that I haven't had my fair share of creepy old men try to be flirty) ew. 

So what's the general consensus regarding age and fetish?


----------



## petite libellule

1. what if the FBI came to your door and told you that your wife of 15 yrs was not who you thought she was. She changed her identity years ago because she was on the run. And the FBI said, okay, now you know. We're gonna be back in 2 weeks. What would you do in those 2 weeks? Would you tell her you know or let her get busted in 2 weeks or go on the run with her and be a fugitive? :shocked:

2. my last post ended with a question. Let me re-articulate it. At what age young or old does the dynamic of a relationship become a "fetish" as was referred to in the last post. Like 10 yrs and older? Is there a consensus with that? I see both men and women dating way more casually than the examples that were set for me as a kid. So I'm curious at what age gap is it clearly "fetish-y" ?

STOP! #3 will be highly offensive so don't answer it if you don't like it. 
It's just me being morbidly weird. Kinda like the question about being shanked or having baby hands, lol! 

3. What if someone dressed in black came up to you and said he was the devil and he was bored. So he put your soul in a little box with a button. And when he pushed that button you'd die. You'd die unless you - shot your mom in the face or fucked a shark. What would you do? Would you die? One option you'd die emotionally, the other - the shark no doubt would seek revenge. But at least you could say you screwed a shark before you died. The last resort would be to die a coward. lol! Okay ...

That was me, reviving the thread for shits and giggles. Gotta go! bye! :kitteh:


----------



## Enfpleasantly

What do you think about people who are so picky, they are nearly impossible to please in any regard? Why do you suppose they are like that? 

How do you personally handle people who are difficult to please/ always complaining in the business world? 

What do you do when you order food at a restaurant and it's not done enough for you? Do you send it back, keep it, complain, etc.? 

Have you ever written a letter of complaint or praise to a company about their product or service?


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> would you rather spend the rest of your life with a medical condition where you flail your arms about all haphazardly, or to have permanent pins and needles on BOTH of your feet?! :shocked:


Pins and needles. I would most likely become accustomed to it and not notice after a while.


----------



## wiarumas

Eloisee said:


> Sorry if these questions have been repeated but I want answers  ....
> 
> 1. From my experience, I always have to add a man on Facebook regardless of what type of relationship I have with him - why is this? :dry:
> 
> *power possibly. Adding a person admits you want to friend them. A lot of men learn at an early age that its best not to willingly reveal that card early. *
> 
> 2. When does a man tell his friends he's in love; and how does he do it?
> 
> *most of the time, he doesn't. Nobody ever told me about being in love nor have I told any of my friends. Usually the ony time a guy knows about it is when the phone call ends with a love you. *
> 
> 3. What makes you call a woman 'beautiful' as opposed to using any other word; and to how many women,in your lifetime, have you used this adjective with relation to the reason you have provided?
> 
> *lots of women. Beautiful to me is a graceful attractiveness. A certain glow of desired features. *
> 
> 4. Relating to a theory by Freud, have you noticed a pattern in the women you date and your mother?
> 
> *not in looks, possibly some personality traits. Specifically, mothering/nurturing instincts. *
> 
> Thanks! :tongue:


In quote.


----------



## wiarumas

willow the wisp said:


> What's it like having all that stuff dangling around between your legs?! I can't imagine it! <lol, no offence meant!>


I don't tend to notice it because I'm used to it. I suppose it influences the way I walk, sit, and move about in general.


----------



## Diphenhydramine

Enfpleasantly said:


> What do you think about people who are so picky, they are nearly impossible to please in any regard? Why do you suppose they are like that?


 Incredibly annoying. I don't know.


----------



## wiarumas

BlueG said:


> How often do you think about your penis?


Maybe every couple hours. Sometimes more sometimes less. Usually when I have reason to - ie, sex, adjusting myself, urinating, etc.


----------



## wiarumas

Faiora said:


> Well, you don't have a stunted ego, it sounds like
> So I guess you're typed correctly!
> 
> With that said, I do have a question. Does it really hurt when you're in the middle of peeing, and you sneeze? I heard this once, and as a female, I find it confusing.


I wouldn't say pain. It's never happened to me though. Most likely, with stopping peeing in general, there can be some discomfort. I think the pee is reversed back through the pipes a bit. Sneezing can be a pretty jarring thing so I would imagine it wouldn't be a pleasant addition to it.


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> What do you think about people who are so picky, they are nearly impossible to please in any regard? Why do you suppose they are like that?
> 
> *i think they have insecurities at the root of their obsession with full control. I think it's annoying. While I enjoy control myself, I find it to be an art where there are many different ways to skin a cat. It's more about delegation and trust than being picky. I can only encourage results, not impose myself if that makes sense. *
> 
> How do you personally handle people who are difficult to please/ always complaining in the business world?
> 
> *depends on their position and my own. Those traits can be useful in some positions, problematic in others. If I'm in control, I'd make sure they were in a position that would benefit from that mentality.. Or just get rid of them. If not in a position to handle them, I'd avoid or ignore. *
> 
> What do you do when you order food at a restaurant and it's not done enough for you? Do you send it back, keep it, complain, etc.?
> 
> *well, it would depend on what it is and what my preference is. If it is seafood or something and doesn't taste right or harmful to my health, I send it back and request some sort of compensation (free meal, desert, substitution, etc). Nothing personal, its just the way it is. If its a steak and its rare instead of medium, I'll eat it. I'm not picky over trivial things. Not worth my time waiting for them, risk getting my food spit on, and really sometimes the chef knows better than the person. One time I had dinner with someone who complained about scallops being undercooked when I knew they were cooked properly and they just strangely preferred to have overlooked food. I don't fall into that camp of people. *
> 
> Have you ever written a letter of complaint or praise to a company about their product or service?
> 
> *no, not worth my time. Letters in general as well. *


In quote


----------



## android654

Enfpleasantly said:


> What do you think about people who are so picky, they are nearly impossible to please in any regard? Why do you suppose they are like that?


I think they're so unhappy with the larger aspects of their lives that it bleeds into the smallest areas of their everyday lives. I've never met a happy person that was obsessed with small things nor picky in any sense, that's usually left for people who are miserable and waste their energy on pointless things.



> How do you personally handle people who are difficult to please/ always complaining in the business world?


I'm of two minds about this. If you're simply discontent with everything, constantly complaining about every small detail because the universe does not exist around you, then I have no time for you. However, if you're a perfectionist and you spend your time focused on working on your craft or a cause and feel like you haven't done enough and use your dissatisfaction as a motivator to improve upon what you've already started then I can make exceptions for that.



> What do you do when you order food at a restaurant and it's not done enough for you? Do you send it back, keep it, complain, etc.?


I worked in a restaurant in high school and I can safely say no one gets to deal with more crap from customers than waiters. If you have a job you don't like and you have people bitching about their food it makes you a horror to deal with. Keeping that in mind, I don't eat out regularly and when I do it's usually a place where I know how they cook or something simple enough that its impossible to botch. If I get something and it's not to my liking I chalk it up to a learning experience and either don't go back or order something else next time. 



> Have you ever written a letter of complaint or praise to a company about their product or service?


Nah, that's kind of a corny or bitchy thing to do. If I like something I support it by buying it and I don't see the point in complaining about a product to the manufacturer.


----------



## searcheagle

Enfpleasantly said:


> What do you think about people who are so picky, they are nearly impossible to please in any regard? Why do you suppose they are like that?


I think they need to learn to deal with it cause the whole world doesn't revolve around them. I think many of them feel they are entitled to have the whole world catered to them. 



> How do you personally handle people who are difficult to please/ always complaining in the business world?


Fortunately, I don't interact with a ton of people in my line of work. If their internal customers that I support, I try to keep them happy so they keep their productivity up. If it's co-workers, I'll do anything from pacify them to ignore them. If it's a superior, I'll try to keep them happy. 




> What do you do when you order food at a restaurant and it's not done enough for you? Do you send it back, keep it, complain, etc.?


I'm not to picky. I can't think of anytime where I was unhappy enough about a meal as an adult to feel that it warranted a further action. If something is bad enough, I would complain and/or send it back.




> Have you ever written a letter of complaint or praise to a company about their product or service?


I have sent a few complaint notes (including one to AirTran for charging baggage fees). I have another one that I want to send to Quicken over their latest software but I haven't done it yet.

Unfortunately, I don't think I have sent a praise note.


----------



## lolwut12345

You have a Genius level IQ? If so can you please provide your Mensa membership to us?

I hear a disproportionate amount of people on the internet say they're of genius IQ. Odd because I simultaneously read a lot of nonsense and stupidity on the internet to. I'd think genius' would constantly be enlightening myself by their awesome intelligence.

So please gentleman, provide your Mensa Membership.


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## C3P0meetsData

What are some aspects of being a male do you think would be easier if you were female?


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## petite libellule

Have you ever worn a speedo?

Would you ever? What if you were a swimmer, would you wear one then? 
If you HAD to wear one, what color would it be? LOL!!! :tongue:


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## Death Persuades

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Have you ever worn a speedo?
> 
> Would you ever? What if you were a swimmer, would you wear one then?
> If you HAD to wear one, what color would it be? LOL!!! :tongue:


No.

I would, but only if it's in a private Jacuzzi alone or with my SO.

Idk... Black? Blue... Idk.


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## Death Persuades

C3P0meetsData said:


> What are some aspects of being a male do you think would be easier if you were female?


Having ladybits would probably help me find partners a lot faster.


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## Death Persuades

lolwut12345 said:


> You have a Genius level IQ? If so can you please provide your Mensa membership to us?
> 
> I hear a disproportionate amount of people on the internet say they're of genius IQ. Odd because I simultaneously read a lot of nonsense and stupidity on the internet to. I'd think genius' would constantly be enlightening myself by their awesome intelligence.
> 
> So please gentleman, provide your Mensa Membership.


hehe your username says it all.


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## Wellsy

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Have you ever worn a speedo?
> 
> Would you ever? What if you were a swimmer, would you wear one then?
> If you HAD to wear one, what color would it be? LOL!!! :tongue:


Never worn one unless i'm thinking maybe when I was a little boy perhaps I had some swimmers like that though don't remember.
Well if I were a swimmer and serious about it, i'd be getting me one of them fine one piece body suits for the aerodynamics because I take my leisurely swims SERIOUSLY! hahaha

If I had to wear one it'd be black but at the crotch all red, so everyones eyes are immediately drawn to my package hahahaha


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## petite libellule

Wellsy said:


> Well if I were a swimmer and serious about it, i'd be getting me one of them fine one piece body suits for the aerodynamics because I take my leisurely swims SERIOUSLY! hahaha
> 
> If I had to wear one it'd be black but at the crotch all red, so everyones eyes are immediately drawn to my package hahahaha


:laughing: OMG! LOL!!!


----------



## wiarumas

lolwut12345 said:


> You have a Genius level IQ? If so can you please provide your Mensa membership to us?
> 
> I hear a disproportionate amount of people on the internet say they're of genius IQ. Odd because I simultaneously read a lot of nonsense and stupidity on the internet to. I'd think genius' would constantly be enlightening myself by their awesome intelligence.
> 
> So please gentleman, provide your Mensa Membership.


Not all geniuses are members of Mensa. It requires a membership and annual fee. I posted this before that the cost is from what I remember around $50 with a 70ish annual fee. I haven't been a member for close to 20 years now. My school paid for it, but when it became my personal responsibility, my parents didn't think it was worth it. It was essentially college application fodder and an overpriced magazine subscription. Putting all that aside however, I would never disclose personal identifiable information in a public forum even if I was still a member.


----------



## wiarumas

C3P0meetsData said:


> What are some aspects of being a male do you think would be easier if you were female?


Can you clarify? Do you mean what aspects would be easier if I were a female? Or aspects of being a male? I think dating/sex would be much easier if I were a female. I'm not sure what aspects of being a male would be easier if I were a female. Sense of fashion? (Reflective) Listening skills (ie, effective communication)?


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Have you ever worn a speedo?
> 
> *no. *
> 
> Would you ever? What if you were a swimmer, would you wear one then?
> 
> *sure. *
> 
> If you HAD to wear one, what color would it be? LOL!!! :tongue:
> 
> *black or navy.*


In quote.


----------



## C3P0meetsData

What you said is exactly what I meant. You said that your sense of fashion and listening skills and dating/sex would be easier. In what ways do you feel you would think/act/be treated differently.
I'm really just trying to gauge whether it's easier to be a male or a female.

Personally, I think that there are an equal number of challenges for both genders. As a female, I feel like the challenges are more physical. In order to reach the same levels of physical strength/endurance as my male counterparts, I have to work harder than they would. I have to be careful not to "leave my drinks" around at parties, or do anything particularly rash, because unfortunately, I am more likely to be a victim of sex-related violence than a male. If a man is giving me unwanted advances, as a female, this is something _scary_ as opposed to something that's silly and annoying.
However, male difficulties are usually more internal and mental (or at least, that's how it seems from my perspective) (Correct me if I'm wrong). As a female, I am allowed more expression and more gender ambiguity. If a woman watches football, goes to the gym, even if she gets drunk and KISSES ANOTHER GIRL, nobody is going to question it. But if a guy does one little thing that's slightly effeminate, he's the gayest guy who ever lived. (Nothing against homosexuals, that's just the pragmatism.) For me, embarrassment, drama, heartbreak and weakness are never accompanied by emasculation. Who's going to question my femininity, you know? Do you ever notice those challenges that males face?

As a reference, I just wanted to point out a book that I read about a woman who spent a year dressing and acting like a man. It was called "Self-made Man". And after that year, she had to be institutionalized for depression. So yeah, from a woman's perspective, it just seems really difficult. And I was just taking this post as an opportunity to ask you about those difficulties. (Because I'd probably never ask a guy about any of this stuff irl)


----------



## Jennywocky

ISFjosue0098 said:


> hehe your username says it all.


Well, besides the misspellings and bad punctuation...


----------



## C3P0meetsData

Also, what's it like having a male ego? What does your ego mean to you?
(I'm sorry. These questions are really prying and they sound like they come from a high school English class, but I'm so captivated by the male mind. It's so similar to my own, yet so different.)


----------



## wiarumas

C3P0meetsData said:


> What you said is exactly what I meant. You said that your sense of fashion and listening skills and dating/sex would be easier. In what ways do you feel you would think/act/be treated differently.
> I'm really just trying to gauge whether it's easier to be a male or a female.
> 
> Personally, I think that there are an equal number of challenges for both genders. As a female, I feel like the challenges are more physical. In order to reach the same levels of physical strength/endurance as my male counterparts, I have to work harder than they would. I have to be careful not to "leave my drinks" around at parties, or do anything particularly rash, because unfortunately, I am more likely to be a victim of sex-related violence than a male. If a man is giving me unwanted advances, as a female, this is something _scary_ as opposed to something that's silly and annoying.
> However, male difficulties are usually more internal and mental (or at least, that's how it seems from my perspective) (Correct me if I'm wrong). As a female, I am allowed more expression and more gender ambiguity. If a woman watches football, goes to the gym, even if she gets drunk and KISSES ANOTHER GIRL, nobody is going to question it. But if a guy does one little thing that's slightly effeminate, he's the gayest guy who ever lived. (Nothing against homosexuals, that's just the pragmatism.) For me, embarrassment, drama, heartbreak and weakness are never accompanied by emasculation. Who's going to question my femininity, you know? Do you ever notice those challenges that males face?
> 
> As a reference, I just wanted to point out a book that I read about a woman who spent a year dressing and acting like a man. It was called "Self-made Man". And after that year, she had to be institutionalized for depression. So yeah, from a woman's perspective, it just seems really difficult. And I was just taking this post as an opportunity to ask you about those difficulties. (Because I'd probably never ask a guy about any of this stuff irl)


Definitely both sexes have challenges, but I have no doubt women experience more and more difficult challenges. Just from your post alone is a great example. To be completely honest, it was a stretch to come up with any answers let alone on the scale of wishing you aren't in mortal fear every time you leave a drink unattended or enter an empty parking garage. It's just tiring to chase and charm women all the time. We really do all the work. It would be nice for a woman to want you instead of always trying for her approval and permission to spread her legs. It's not just about the sex, but there is a feeling of being desired missing from the equation if that makes sense. Really, that's all there is for me and its trivial at best because when I am engaging a woman, testosterone kicks in and I don't care about what I just said.

Life as a man is relatively low maintenance and low worries. That book sounds interesting and ill definitely check it out, but I think her depression was most likely a result of her being a woman pretending to be a man and not because of the pressures she experienced as a man. Deep down inside I'm not a woman, I'm still a man who likes man things. I have no secret desires to kiss men, get manicures, do hot yoga, and watch greys anatomy. But if I did, I wouldn't let the opinions of others stand in my way. Maybe I'm just bias but on the other side of the coin, I don't want to falsely believe the grass is greener on the other side.


----------



## wiarumas

C3P0meetsData said:


> Also, what's it like having a male ego? What does your ego mean to you?
> (I'm sorry. These questions are really prying and they sound like they come from a high school English class, but I'm so captivated by the male mind. It's so similar to my own, yet so different.)


Hard to say because I don't have anything to compare it to. It's natural. It exists. It's a part of me and I lack the perspective of its absence. I'd say it feels like confidence, strength, a tad of immortality and rejection of mortality. This is without a doubt some type of exaggeration or self preserving lie, but its nice to revel in it. 

Gods gift to women, action heroes that shrug off thousands of bullets, the knight who slays a dragon, a villain who mans a Death Star and can choke someone to death with his mind, a racecar driver, a boxer, cowboy, a don draper, etc all strike a cord with men's egos and who they aspire to be. And in a way, believing you are in some form embodying some traits or likewise the anti stance, you believe it. Thus, ego. Some realize its a lie, others will be nonconformists (but in fact are just as guilty embodying less common but nonetheless still perceived "coolness"), but its still there.


----------



## wiarumas

C3P0meetsData said:


> Also, what's it like having a male ego? What does your ego mean to you?
> (I'm sorry. These questions are really prying and they sound like they come from a high school English class, but I'm so captivated by the male mind. It's so similar to my own, yet so different.)


More simple answer - when a bird in the rainforest does his wild and crazy feather dance to a woman, his mentality thinking he is the coolest dude is the male ego. Humans are more sophisticated and shrouded in complex culture, but at the root it's a self perception of coolness, attractiveness, and whatever other synonyms for it. Meanwhile, the female bird just sits there thinking they are ridiculous, but its our nature and it DID get your attention enough to warrant consideration.


----------



## petite libellule

wiarumas said:


> More simple answer - when a bird in the rainforest does his wild and crazy feather dance to a woman, his mentality thinking he is the coolest dude is the male ego.


That is. Absolutely. Adorable. >.<

1. so then what happens when they get past that "consideration" point?
2. do they still ruffle their feathers ridiculously?
3. and if they do ... 
how do they think that will keep them beyond the limits of "consideration" ?


----------



## searcheagle

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Have you ever worn a speedo?



Nope.



> Would you ever? What if you were a swimmer, would you wear one then?


I don't foresee it! If I was serious about swimming---- maybe. But I'd have to be super serious about swimming. Like Michael Phelps serious. Wait- they wear body suits now, so that doesn't even matter. So, I'm going with now.



> If you HAD to wear one, what color would it be? LOL!!! :tongue:


Color doesn't matter. Everyone would be blind!


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> That is. Absolutely. Adorable. >.<
> 
> 1. so then what happens when they get past that "consideration" point?
> 2. do they still ruffle their feathers ridiculously?
> 3. and if they do ...
> how do they think that will keep them beyond the limits of "consideration" ?


We don't really recognize our own feather dance so its not really something that we put conscious effort into and/or stop at a certain point. It is a part of who we are. From the way we stand and walk to the car we drive. It's the way we identify/perceive ourself. According to my wife, men's egos are almost synonymous with feelings. Women get their feelings hurt, men get their egos hurt. Which may just be a Fe vs Fi thing, or 2 labels on the same thing. I think men just invest feelings in different things than women.


----------



## petite libellule

wiarumas said:


> We don't really recognize our own feather dance so its not really something that we put conscious effort into and/or stop at a certain point. It is a part of who we are. From the way we stand and walk to the car we drive. It's the way we identify/perceive ourself. According to my wife, men's egos are almost synonymous with feelings. Women get their feelings hurt, men get their egos hurt. Which may just be a Fe vs Fi thing, or 2 labels on the same thing. I think men just invest feelings in different things than women.


Impressed. I like that explanation. It absolutely makes sense. I like it !

So someone with an inflated ego might be equivalent to ??? 

Just curious :tongue:


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## Naia68

I'm a yoga teacher. I always wonder: How do men deal with their junk during certain yoga poses? I mean, how do you keep it out of the way, keep it from getting smashed, etc?


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## searcheagle

Naia68 said:


> I'm a yoga teacher. I always wonder: How do men deal with their junk during certain yoga poses? I mean, how do you keep it out of the way, keep it from getting smashed, etc?


Well, for starters, men aren't as flexible as women are. I think that men's muscles are more tightly attached to the bone, resulting in more strength but less flexibility. Just a guess, I'm not a doctor. lol

Most of the time the parts in that area just move out of the way. Sometimes, things stand out of the way. Either way, it doesn't require any thought and they don't stay in the way!


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## Wellsy

Naia68 said:


> I'm a yoga teacher. I always wonder: How do men deal with their junk during certain yoga poses? I mean, how do you keep it out of the way, keep it from getting smashed, etc?


Well even if I squeezed my legs together im not gonna crush my bits unless they're hanging out with no clothes on and it went further between my legs but even that is unlikely. 
For me how I keep myself in place in my underwear have it coming up towards my pelvis, so its against my body and not going to be a problem further down. So it works out fine


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## WamphyriThrall

wiarumas said:


> We don't really recognize our own feather dance so its not really something that we put conscious effort into and/or stop at a certain point. It is a part of who we are. From the way we stand and walk to the car we drive. It's the way we identify/perceive ourself. According to my wife, men's egos are almost synonymous with feelings. Women get their feelings hurt, men get their egos hurt. Which may just be a Fe vs Fi thing, or 2 labels on the same thing. I think men just invest feelings in different things than women.


I don't see it that way at all. Feelings are emotional reactions, while the ego... is as much part of men as our eyes or hands. A better comparison would be how a woman's value is gauged, usually related to physical appearance or virginity. I don't have to worry of being seen as 'easy' or gaining a few pounds, not nearly as much as some of my female friends. Instead, I feel the pressure when it comes to letting others know I live with my parents still, don't have a job, single. They don't bother me, personally, but I know how it makes me look to outsiders and will affect how I'm treated. 

A friend of mine inquired about the male ego a while back, and while I explained she might feel the pressure to achieve, remain independent, and to present a certain appearance towards strangers, the ramifications for failing to do so weren't anywhere close to what men have to live with on a day-to-day basis. In fact, the very idea that there is even a 'man card' and 'violations' should give some clue why men do or don't do certain things, and no doubt tie in with the 'ego'. 

Honestly, I wonder how much of it is learned, since I don't feel the need to prove myself nearly to the extent that some guys do, but then, I've always been somewhat of an outcast. Or maybe I've simply found another way to express it? Still, it definitely ties in with self-worth and identity. Some women know how to damage it, navigate around it, or even nurture it, but not many *know* the ego.


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## WickerDeer

WamphyriThrall said:


> I don't see it that way at all. Feelings are emotional reactions, while the ego... is as much part of men as our eyes or hands. A better comparison would be how a woman's value is gauged, usually related to physical appearance or virginity. I don't have to worry of being seen as 'easy' or gaining a few pounds, not nearly as much as some of my female friends. Instead, I feel the pressure when it comes to letting others know I live with my parents still, don't have a job, single. They don't bother me, personally, but I know how it makes me look to outsiders and will affect how I'm treated.
> 
> A friend of mine inquired about the male ego a while back, and while I explained she might feel the pressure to achieve, remain independent, and to present a certain appearance towards strangers, the ramifications for failing to do so weren't anywhere close to what men have to live with on a day-to-day basis. In fact, the very idea that there is even a 'man card' and 'violations' should give some clue why men do or don't do certain things, and no doubt tie in with the 'ego'.
> 
> Honestly, I wonder how much of it is learned, since I don't feel the need to prove myself nearly to the extent that some guys do, but then, I've always been somewhat of an outcast. Or maybe I've simply found another way to express it? Still, it definitely ties in with self-worth and identity. Some women know how to damage it, navigate around it, or even nurture it, but not many *know* the ego.


I read a story once and my professor said that he thought it was an excellent example of male psychology regarding sex (like intercourse). It was like a male coming of age. Basically, what he was talking about was an analogy (almost allegory) where a man was threatened by another man sexually, and so that man learned that by dominating women he was asserting his higher status. By finding his place as the dominant male over a female, he was able to escape his fears of being dominated by other males. And this illustrated how much dominance/status was associated with gender.

I think that women are more socialized into expressing and accepting their feelings (emotions). But men are expected to channel their emotions into a demonstration of authority and asserting a position in hierarchy.

So for a woman it is more dangerous to try to assert authority because she is already assumed to be in a certain position. She may express feelings about her situation, but may not try to become higher than a man. For a man, it is dangerous to express feelings because he will be demoted to a lower place on the hierarchy because part of that gender hierarchy associates expression of feeling with being lower. 

Women are allowed to express feeling without being seen as something other than woman. Men aren't (some of the time) because feeling is associated with women and also weakness in men. Alternately, men are given more freedom in status position.

IDK though. I'm not an expert and I am completely open to disagreement. In fact, I encourage it because I know there is more to this than what I am writing about.

Edit: Wait--why am I writing about the male ego on a thread for men? Silly me! I think that the answers given are already really interesting.


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Impressed. I like that explanation. It absolutely makes sense. I like it !
> 
> So someone with an inflated ego might be equivalent to ???
> 
> Just curious :tongue:


Well it depends on the source of the ego and how it was determined. Some people have inflated egos that have sufficient evidence supporting it. Some people have egos with no evidence. Some people prefer other measures and not rely on evidence. 

I want to rephrase what ego is in accordance to what @meltedsorbet said. It's not so much dominance and coping mechanism as it is a measure of self value relative to others. What kind of car does he drive, where did he go to school, how good is his art, what kind of knowledge and taste in music, how bohemian and rebellious he is, his salary, how much he can bench press, penis size, how far he can pee, his IQ, his looks, number of sexual partners, how low his body fat is, how well he can sing, how good is he at halo, how well read he is, etc. 

All of these in some way can be used to generate some sort of self perceived value in relation to other men and likewise how deserving he is of a mate to women. Depending on how he quantifies it and what is important to others can make him seem cocky, delusional, insecure, or justified.


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## wiarumas

Naia68 said:


> I'm a yoga teacher. I always wonder: How do men deal with their junk during certain yoga poses? I mean, how do you keep it out of the way, keep it from getting smashed, etc?


Actually our genetalia can be "smashed" to a surprising amount of pressure without pain. Kinda like breasts. I think the source of pain comes more from a sudden impact. For example, a guy can accidentally sit in a way where his balls are smashed and it hurts. But if he sits down carefully, the testicles can be in the same position and experiencing the same amount of pressure and it doesn't hurt at all. Also, I think it's worth noting only the testicles are prone to pain. The penis almost never hurts.

Now, there is also a matter of keeping it in a comfortable position. Thus briefs or boxer briefs provide some support which are quite common in athletics for that very reason. Like a sports bra.


----------



## qingdom

Favorite scenic spot to share with self and potential SO.... and go.


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## wiarumas

qingdom said:


> Favorite scenic spot to share with self and potential SO.... and go.


Scenic (bike) trails, bodies of water, conquerable places of nature. 

Here are some examples from my phone - Chesapeake and Ohio canal, Shenandoah state park skyline drive, some Mayan ruin, ocean.


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## petite libellule

wiarumas said:


> All of these in some way can be used to generate some sort of self perceived value in relation to other men and likewise how deserving he is of a mate to women.


_once again, impressed. 
I always love your responses because they are just so, idk, point blank, matter of factually expressed.
It's refreshing >.<_

So I think the equivalent might be, a woman who is incredibly physically perfect (so to speak) who's super successfully financially independent, but just is flat out bat shit emotionally crazy :tongue: lol! 

I say this only because in my experience, men w/ inflated ego's are compensating in a way. in other words, it's like, if a female is incredibly physically attractive, she might be less inclined to develop other aspects of her personality. I'm not attacking the notion of ego in and of itself. It's like men and their ego, vs, a female and her self esteem? maybe. idk ...


----------



## petite libellule

If hypothetically you really really liked a girl, and she said, "I just love indian food! Let's go!" but you didn't, or wasn't too "into" trying new foods, would you go anyways ? If not, what would you say or suggest in replacement ?

If you really liked a girl, or let's say your wife, made some weird dish that she was really excited about (something she spent a lot of time and effort on), and it kinda sucked. Would you eat it anyways ?


----------



## Diphenhydramine

Ningsta Kitty said:


> If hypothetically you really really liked a girl, and she said, "I just love indian food! Let's go!" but you didn't, or wasn't too "into" trying new foods, would you go anyways ? If not, what would you say or suggest in replacement ?
> 
> If you really liked a girl, or let's say your wife, made some weird dish that she was really excited about (something she spent a lot of time and effort on), and it kinda sucked. Would you eat it anyways ?


 Im ALWAYS into trying new food, omg. But let's say she's requesting me to do something I don't care to try, lets say, musicals, I would go anyway, because it's the time spent with her that is the important thing, and I can always banterise anything like that.

As for the second question, yea, I'd eat it, but I don't know what I'd do if they insisted on cooking it again. I guess I would ask to help cook it and then push it in a direction to remove ingredients I don't like... haha


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> _once again, impressed.
> I always love your responses because they are just so, idk, point blank, matter of factually expressed.
> It's refreshing >.<_
> 
> So I think the equivalent might be, a woman who is incredibly physically perfect (so to speak) who's super successfully financially independent, but just is flat out bat shit emotionally crazy :tongue: lol!
> 
> I say this only because in my experience, men w/ inflated ego's are compensating in a way. in other words, it's like, if a female is incredibly physically attractive, she might be less inclined to develop other aspects of her personality. I'm not attacking the notion of ego in and of itself. It's like men and their ego, vs, a female and her self esteem? maybe. idk ...


I think ego and self esteem are very closely related. But I think ego is focused on the application to the opposite sex and esteem to be self perceived. 

Also, I dont think compensation is always true. I think many people do compensate while others are just naturally competitive and/or greedy. You could be compensating for something you lack, or you can just want to stand out. If you have nothing to be insecure about, you can just stop there and be mediocre or you can strive for greatness.

I know a guy who has a relatively large penis and because of that never cared to amount for much. But I know another guy who has a big penis, has a successful career and speaks 3 languages. I'm not sure if he is compensating for something or just wanted to maximize his potential. 

Likewise, I know a beautiful woman, very intelligent, and has a great personality. Although, her situation is bit of an ugly duckling scenario, still you get the idea.


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> If hypothetically you really really liked a girl, and she said, "I just love indian food! Let's go!" but you didn't, or wasn't too "into" trying new foods, would you go anyways ? If not, what would you say or suggest in replacement ?
> 
> *i would never be against trying new food nor would I hate an entire genre of food so deeply I couldn't find anything I like. I wouldn't be enthused about it, but I wouldn't mind. *
> 
> If you really liked a girl, or let's say your wife, made some weird dish that she was really excited about (something she spent a lot of time and effort on), and it kinda sucked. Would you eat it anyways ?
> 
> *i would eat it but provide honest feedback on why I'm not a fan and possibly what could be done to improve it. I cant be critical and unhelpful. But food is food and its a free meal. Unless my health was in jeopardy and it was edible, I'd eat it. I'm a firm believer in beggars can't be choosers along with criticism should always be constructive else it's useless.*


In quote


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## 7rr7s

Ningsta Kitty said:


> would you rather spend the rest of your life with a medical condition where you flail your arms about all haphazardly, or to have permanent pins and needles on BOTH of your feet?! :shocked:


Pins and needles. I can still write, have sex, and play guitar in a wheelchair, and I would probably get hooked up with some awesome painkillers. Win win. 



Enfpleasantly said:


> What do you think about people who are so picky, they are nearly impossible to please in any regard? Why do you suppose they are like that?
> 
> *It's pretty annoying. But it can also push me to exceed (meet) expectations, and that's always a good thing. But if they are like that constanly, they lead a pretty miserable life, although they can teach you a thing or two about standards.
> 
> *How do you personally handle people who are difficult to please/ always complaining in the business world?
> 
> *Ignore them. I hate negativity and I don't want them to bring me down.
> *
> What do you do when you order food at a restaurant and it's not done enough for you? Do you send it back, keep it, complain, etc.?
> 
> *I like food pretty plain, so usually if this happens, it means they put extra toppings on it. I just take them off. If it's a steak, and they don't cook it enough that's cool because there is no such thing as too rare, and if it's overcooked a little, it's no big deal because steak is steak!*
> 
> Have you ever written a letter of complaint or praise to a company about their product or service?


Nah, too much effort, and no company has wowed me of pissed me off enough to warrant that. 



C3P0meetsData said:


> What are some aspects of being a male do you think would be easier if you were female?


Sad to say, but it would probably depend on how attractive of a female I was. Things like customer service, ordering drinks at a bar, ect. would be alot easier I'd imagine. Overall though, I'd say being able to relate emotionally and pick up on subtle things. 



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Have you ever worn a speedo?
> 
> Would you ever? What if you were a swimmer, would you wear one then?
> If you HAD to wear one, what color would it be? LOL!!! :tongue:


Never worn one, if I did wear one though, tequila would have to be involved. Ohhh, and I'd prefer one that is kind of blue.


----------



## snail

I haven't read through over a hundred pages to see if anyone already asked these questions, so if they have, I apologize.

Do you feel that society's gender-related expectations stifle your authenticity in a way that has been detrimental to your individual progress and well-being? For example, do you ever feel limited because you want to wear something that would be considered feminine, or express yourself in a way that is considered unmanly? If so, do you usually challenge the expectations, or perpetuate them by limiting yourself accordingly.

After sex, do you feel a strong need for continued closeness with your partner, or do you feel satisfied to the point where you just want to go do something else? 

Do you feel any kind of instinctual bond with your children? If so, is it protective, nurturing, or something else? Do you think it differs from the mother's bond?

Do you feel a natural inclination to lust after women other than your partner? If so, and if you have no real desire to cheat, what causes it and how do you justify it? If not, what do you think of men who make excuses by saying they can't help but desire random pretty strangers, who paint all men as lust-crazed animals? Do such statements offend you on a personal level? 

Does it bother you when women are automatically suspicious of you because of your gender, or react to you with fear when they are walking alone at night? How does it feel knowing that there is a certain percentage of the population who will automatically view you as a potential rapist regardless of your individual values and feelings? 

How do you feel about feminism? Do you think that you, as a man, are harmed by the patriarchy, or do you enjoy the privileges associated with it? 

If any of these questions offend you, I apologize in advance. I ask sincerely without any sinister intent.


----------



## Diphenhydramine

snail said:


> Do you feel that society's gender-related expectations stifle your authenticity in a way that has been detrimental to your individual progress and well-being? For example, do you ever feel limited because you want to wear something that would be considered feminine, or express yourself in a way that is considered unmanly? If so, do you usually challenge the expectations, or perpetuate them by limiting yourself accordingly.


 Not once in my life.



snail said:


> After sex, do you feel a strong need for continued closeness with your partner, or do you feel satisfied to the point where you just want to go do something else?


 That depends wholly on who they are.



snail said:


> Does it bother you when women are automatically suspicious of you because of your gender, or react to you with fear when they are walking alone at night? How does it feel knowing that there is a certain percentage of the population who will automatically view you as a potential rapist regardless of your individual values and feelings?


 It bothers me in the sense that I'm not and never will be a rapist, but their concern for their personal safety is understandable though this depends on location. However I have never had a woman react with fear to me when walking alone at night because I don't make overtures towards strangers.



snail said:


> How do you feel about feminism? Do you think that you, as a man, are harmed by the patriarchy, or do you enjoy the privileges associated with it?


 I don't feel harmed by the patriarchy and I enjoy some of its privileges, but ultimately we will have to destroy it, unfortunately for me.


----------



## 7rr7s

C3P0meetsData said:


> Also, what's it like having a male ego? What does your ego mean to you?
> (I'm sorry. These questions are really prying and they sound like they come from a high school English class, but I'm so captivated by the male mind. It's so similar to my own, yet so different.)


It's like posessing something you know will drive you forward and hold you back, but just knowing about it doesn't mean you understand the real depths of it. When you are a boy, and even a young man, this manifests itself by thinking you are immortal and invincible. You view yourself as the hero, and the hero always defeats the bad guy, rescues the princess, lives happily ever after and rides off into the sunset. That's your ego, and when you realize you can be wounded, and when you come in touch with your own mortality, you become more aware of the ego, but you still can't free yourself from it entirely.

The ego can help you too, it drives you forward, makes you want to achieve great things, brings out ambition and drive. But that way of thinking will also destroy you, and the only way to overcome it is to accept your own death and live from that mindset, because death is stronger than the ego and when you kill your ego, death loses it's power over you. What it comes down to is realizing you're here for less than a blink of an eye, and doing the best you can with the time you have, and then being okay with being forgotten. Being okay with nothing to show for it. It's scary but it's worth it. 



Naia68 said:


> I'm a yoga teacher. I always wonder: How do men deal with their junk during certain yoga poses? I mean, how do you keep it out of the way, keep it from getting smashed, etc?


I have bad balance, so I always failed at yoga. I can do the tree and down dog and that's about it. If I ever got back into yoga, I'd just tuck it or something I guess. 



qingdom said:


> Favorite scenic spot to share with self and potential SO.... and go.


The beach. Prefferably at night. Just hearing the roar of the waves coming in, and looking out at the expanse of water is really peaceful, but it's better in the moonlight.


----------



## wiarumas

snail said:


> I haven't read through over a hundred pages to see if anyone already asked these questions, so if they have, I apologize.
> 
> Do you feel that society's gender-related expectations stifle your authenticity in a way that has been detrimental to your individual progress and well-being? For example, do you ever feel limited because you want to wear something that would be considered feminine, or express yourself in a way that is considered unmanly? If so, do you usually challenge the expectations, or perpetuate them by limiting yourself accordingly.
> 
> *never. I feel that most societal expectations align with my own personality, behavior, interests, etc and those where I do not (for example, I don't get off on watching ESPN constantly) I don't feel pressure on being different. I think some people feel that society enforces people to be a certain way, but its a chicken and egg argument about what came first (ie that I am not a product of societal expectations but rather societal expectations are a product of me). Perhaps because men were never really oppressed or forced in a certain role in society. *
> 
> After sex, do you feel a strong need for continued closeness with your partner, or do you feel satisfied to the point where you just want to go do something else?
> 
> *depends. I never feel a strong need, but it can be nice. I do enjoy hanging out and debriefing a bit. If there is nothing to do, I'd like to lay there, talk, watch tv or a movie. If there are things to do, I'd like to go do them if its urgent and not be obligated to stay. *
> 
> Do you feel any kind of instinctual bond with your children? If so, is it protective, nurturing, or something else? Do you think it differs from the mother's bond?
> 
> *not at first. I read that newborns typically resemble their father more because it helps men see, trust, and truly believe that the baby is theirs. Which is a bit true in my case. It's weird because we don't have a natural attachment to the baby, but it quickly grows into one. I remember when my son was born, I felt some feelings of being upset at him because he put my wife through a great ordeal followed by some feelings of skepticism where I inspected him a bit and see if he was what I expected. It quickly dissipates but I feel like my wife would have unconditionally loved whatever would have came out of her.
> 
> My bond is mostly a protective one where the kid is like a little bear cub that you have to provide for. But not to the degree of the mother which has an overly protective and nurturing instinct, ours is more general. I feel like my wife had more instincts to comfort, make sure everything in his life is perfect, worry, etc. also I find it worth mentioning that there is a huge difference in threshold tolerance where my wife can listen and worry about him crying for a long duration and I get upset/irritated. *
> 
> Do you feel a natural inclination to lust after women other than your partner? If so, and if you have no real desire to cheat, what causes it and how do you justify it? If not, what do you think of men who make excuses by saying they can't help but desire random pretty strangers, who paint all men as lust-crazed animals? Do such statements offend you on a personal level?
> 
> *actually, I am more offended by the suggestion that I can control my interest at looking at women. Lust isn't the right word though. I can't turn off my ability to see beauty. I feel like I am wired to be attracted to women to an uncontrollable extent. Even if they arent attratvive, i can still appreciate some features like hair, or breasts, etc. But what I can control are my actions which would be to draw the line at looking only. Sexuality is natural and I don't think it's healthy to try to oppress it. But pursuing would be to violate the sanctity of my relationship. *
> 
> Does it bother you when women are automatically suspicious of you because of your gender, or react to you with fear when they are walking alone at night? How does it feel knowing that there is a certain percentage of the population who will automatically view you as a potential rapist regardless of your individual values and feelings?
> 
> *doesnt bother me. I'm not a rapist and that's all I need to know. Opinions of others, especially strangers, aren't that significant to me. I can't control what everybody thinks of me all the time. If anything, my thoughts of the situation is not the highlight of this issue but rather the fact that women live in nearly constant fear. Now that would bother me as an individual. *
> 
> How do you feel about feminism? Do you think that you, as a man, are harmed by the patriarchy, or do you enjoy the privileges associated with it?
> 
> *i am indifferent. Its not my battle to fight or defend. i have nothing to lose or gain by it. But I appreciate its existence and encourage them to fight for what they believe they deserve. Just don't commit the polar opposite extreme and fail to recognize that men are also different, and to celebrate that, not try to control or ignore it. I think that is the fundamental stance of all groups fighting for recognition - it's about celebrating differences, fairness in equal rights, not that we are all equal/same/amorphous species if that makes sense. *
> 
> If any of these questions offend you, I apologize in advance. I ask sincerely without any sinister intent.
> 
> *nothing offended.*


In quote


----------



## searcheagle

meltedsorbet said:


> I read a story once and my professor said that he thought it was an excellent example of male psychology regarding sex (like intercourse). It was like a male coming of age. Basically, what he was talking about was an analogy (almost allegory) where a man was threatened by another man sexually, and so that man learned that by dominating women he was asserting his higher status. By finding his place as the dominant male over a female, he was able to escape his fears of being dominated by other males. And this illustrated how much dominance/status was associated with gender.
> 
> I think that women are more socialized into expressing and accepting their feelings (emotions). But men are expected to channel their emotions into a demonstration of authority and asserting a position in hierarchy.
> 
> So for a woman it is more dangerous to try to assert authority because she is already assumed to be in a certain position. She may express feelings about her situation, but may not try to become higher than a man. For a man, it is dangerous to express feelings because he will be demoted to a lower place on the hierarchy because part of that gender hierarchy associates expression of feeling with being lower.
> 
> Women are allowed to express feeling without being seen as something other than woman. Men aren't (some of the time) because feeling is associated with women and also weakness in men. Alternately, men are given more freedom in status position.
> 
> IDK though. I'm not an expert and I am completely open to disagreement. In fact, I encourage it because I know there is more to this than what I am writing about.
> 
> Edit: Wait--why am I writing about the male ego on a thread for men? Silly me! I think that the answers given are already really interesting.


The whole men and visible displays of emotion thing varies greatly by culture. In the Middle East, it is expected and encouraged for men to cry and display many other forms of visible emotion. 


From Wikipedia:
2. Women are permitted to express their emotions more freely in some cultures, but in the Middle East and South Africa men are also taught to be just as emotional or sometimes more emotional than women. In Asian cultures, emotions are suppressed by both genders.

Gender polarization - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


----------



## searcheagle

snail said:


> Do you feel that society's gender-related expectations stifle your authenticity in a way that has been detrimental to your individual progress and well-being? For example, do you ever feel limited because you want to wear something that would be considered feminine, or express yourself in a way that is considered unmanly? If so, do you usually challenge the expectations, or perpetuate them by limiting yourself accordingly.


Nope.



> Does it bother you when women are automatically suspicious of you because of your gender, or react to you with fear when they are walking alone at night? How does it feel knowing that there is a certain percentage of the population who will automatically view you as a potential rapist regardless of your individual values and feelings?


I don't like it but I understand a reasonable concern for their safety.



> How do you feel about feminism?


Feminism has grown far beyond what they claimed first claimed they wanted. They started off claiming that they wanted an equal chance for women. Now, they want a mandated role in society, with special treatment for women. 

I think that much of the ideology is about hating or demeaning men, in some manner. 



> Do you think that you, as a man, are harmed by the patriarchy, or do you enjoy the privileges associated with it?


Everything has positive and negative effects. I think that nets out fairly balanced for both men and women.


----------



## WickerDeer

searcheagle said:


> The whole men and visible displays of emotion thing varies greatly by culture. In the Middle East, it is expected and encouraged for men to cry and display many other forms of visible emotion.
> 
> 
> From Wikipedia:
> 2. Women are permitted to express their emotions more freely in some cultures, but in the Middle East and South Africa men are also taught to be just as emotional or sometimes more emotional than women. In Asian cultures, emotions are suppressed by both genders.
> 
> Gender polarization - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


Thanks. That's a good point. I remember my dad telling me not to be a crybaby or to stop crying (as a girl). I've only heard from some men about the experience in my reply. I don't know it firsthand.


----------



## WickerDeer

wiarumas said:


> Well it depends on the source of the ego and how it was determined. Some people have inflated egos that have sufficient evidence supporting it. Some people have egos with no evidence. Some people prefer other measures and not rely on evidence.
> 
> I want to rephrase what ego is in accordance to what @_meltedsorbet_ said. It's not so much dominance and coping mechanism as it is a measure of self value relative to others. What kind of car does he drive, where did he go to school, how good is his art, what kind of knowledge and taste in music, how bohemian and rebellious he is, his salary, how much he can bench press, penis size, how far he can pee, his IQ, his looks, number of sexual partners, how low his body fat is, how well he can sing, how good is he at halo, how well read he is, etc.
> 
> All of these in some way can be used to generate some sort of self perceived value in relation to other men and likewise how deserving he is of a mate to women. Depending on how he quantifies it and what is important to others can make him seem cocky, delusional, insecure, or justified.


For some reason your post and my post reminded me of that scene from the Odyssey where Odysseus met Circe. She turned men into animals with her song (which maybe relates to a similar ego thing for women). He was instructed by Hermes to point a sword at her and then to bed her in order to break the spell. I think that in some ways this suggests that there is a vein of thought that men conquer women in order to maybe conquer their own primitive drives. I don't know. 

But your comment on the stuff male ego deals with is much more encompassing and verified than mine is, since you are a man. And that's a good point that self-perceived-value is the culprit in what I was talking about. Men and women both have, as genders, common gendered threads of that that probably play out in situations where one gender dominates the other as a means of reinforcing personal value. 

I like how your reply talks about some of the details of what the male ego can deal with. A lot of times, I think those are overlooked.


----------



## morgan06

I don't have any question to ask i am just amaze that your are really talented and you do a lot of things pretty awesome.


----------



## WickerDeer

What about sex? What do you think about during sex men?


----------



## petite libellule

meltedsorbet said:


> What about sex? What do you think about during sex men?


Lol, I'm not really sure they're actually "thinking" anything during sex. Though I could be wrong >.<


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Lol, I'm not really sure they're actually "thinking" anything during sex. Though I could be wrong >.<


If I'm actively thinking something other than what I'm doing it means the sex is either boring enough to just qualify as sex without me wanting to stop or I'm having so much fun making someone squirm that I'm reading their face to think about what to do to them next.


----------



## wiarumas

meltedsorbet said:


> What about sex? What do you think about during sex men?


I'm very in the moment. If I'm not thinking about what I'm doing, I'm thinking about what she is doing. 

In some cases, I'll force myself to think about other things (like multiplication tables, shower drains, etc) because thinking about what she is doing is too hot. For example, a girls orgasm is incredibly hot and the breathing, moaning, etc in combination with what her vagina is doing, can end the party seconds too soon if you don't occupy your mind with something else just to last that last few moments.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

I got to thinking about viral Youtube sensations of the negative variety today...so with that in mind, if you were to suddenly become an overnight Youtube star, which scenario would you prefer out of these? Which would you least prefer? Why? Actually if you numbered them in order of preference, that would be awesome  Here they are:

1) You did something disgusting, like the tampon girl video.
2) You said something really dumb, like the mph girl, or did something really dumb, like walking into a wall while not paying attention and knocking yourself out.
3) You were acting like a hard-ass and got knocked out by someone who didn't look threatening. 
4) You voiced an opinion with a lot of passion like the "leave Britney alone!" video, which became the target of much mockery. 
5) You were crazy ridiculous during a news interview and were the next autotune sensation, like Antoine Dodson and Sweet Brown.


----------



## wiarumas

Pom87 said:


> Do you ever strip naked and dance with a mangina?


Strip naked? Yes. 
Dance naked? Yes. 
Naked dancing with a mangina? No. I let it flap around in all its glory.


----------



## wiarumas

smallpeas said:


> Does "I'm not interested" end it with the persistent?
> Or is there (high) likelihood of follow-up with "Why not?", attempts to persuade, or other refusal to accept?


Also, I wanted to add that if a person says "why not" feel free to spare nothing. Really, ignorance is bliss in that situation. It's their own fault for opening themselves up to the answer of that question.


----------



## smallpeas

wiarumas said:


> Basically when people pursue there is a degree of fantasy, delusions, and idealism.


This explains some things in the past. Thank you.




wiarumas said:


> Also, I wanted to add that if a person says "why not" feel free to spare nothing. Really, ignorance is bliss in that situation. It's their own fault for opening themselves up to the answer of that question.


I don't like to potentially give people complexes. I feel like someone not being a right fit for me doesn't generally bear on them as a person. It's not personal. I don't want anyone to take it that way.


----------



## smallpeas

In another thread recently, someone wrote that upon seeing an ex, *45% of women feel affection while 70% of men do*. I don't know where this stat comes from, but if anywhere near accurate, that's quite a disparity.


Anecdotally from my life and that of women I know as well as pop article blurbs about studies regarding men & heartbreak, men do seem to hold onto past attraction & connections more, even of the short-term variety.


Any thoughts on why this might be if you think it is so?


----------



## wiarumas

smallpeas said:


> In another thread recently, someone wrote that upon seeing an ex, *45% of women feel affection while 70% of men do*. I don't know where this stat comes from, but if anywhere near accurate, that's quite a disparity.
> 
> Anecdotally from my life and that of women I know as well as pop article blurbs about studies regarding men & heartbreak, men do seem to hold onto past attraction & connections more, even of the short-term variety.
> 
> Any thoughts on why this might be if you think it is so?


Personally, sex and love can be separate. When I see an ex, despite knowing that it will never work, whatever terms we ended on, personal thoughts towards her, I can still view her as a person I shared affection with, passion with, sex with. That could potentially be rekindled in a restricted/limited way. I could hate her deeply as a human being, but still recall connecting physically and that's good enough to nostalgic about and feel some attraction. 

For me, I attribute this to the biological difference in sexual consequence. No matter what society/government dictates, men will view sex as lower risk than women because we don't have to be reminded for 40 enduring weeks afterwards, not to mention the labor and the actual child. Its part of the package we came with engrained in our psyche - the invention of contraceptives does not undo thousands of years mentality towards mating. I wouldn't be surprised if the emotional impact an ex can leave, the thought of the ex being a liability, trust issues, etc damages the woman's perspective of a man sexually more than that of the sexual appeal of a female ex to a male.


----------



## Phantomwise

A man in one of my classes stated "The only reason for a girl not to get asked out is if she is unattractive. Sorry girls, but if no one is asking you out, it means you're ugly."

So that came off to me as a very douchey thing to say. But I am wondering, what do you men think of this? Is there any truth to it?


----------



## Sovereign

Phantomwise said:


> A man in one of my classes stated "The only reason for a girl not to get asked out is if she is unattractive. Sorry girls, but if no one is asking you out, it means you're ugly."
> 
> So that came off to me as a very douchey thing to say. But I am wondering, what do you men think of this? Is there any truth to it?


No, I know beautiful women who don't get asked out for other reasons. However, the rest of my response is also douchey:

If you're not getting asked out, but you desire to, it means you are not taking the actions necessary to produce the result. So, instead of insulting a person's "beauty," I'm insulting their competency.


----------



## Phantomwise

Sovereign said:


> No, I know beautiful women who don't get asked out for other reasons. However, the rest of my response is also douchey:
> 
> If you're not getting asked out, but you desire to, it means you are not taking the actions necessary to produce the result. So, instead of insulting a person's "beauty," I'm insulting their competency.


That makes sense. I've noticed the girls who get asked out most are the ones who meet new people often and who show interest in other people.


----------



## Sovereign

Phantomwise said:


> That makes sense. I've noticed the girls who get asked out most are the ones who meet new people often and who show interest in other people.


Agreed. Getting off one's [lazy/scared/insecure/whatever] ass and taking substantive action in attempt to achieve success can overcome a surprising array of other factors.

Sounds harsh (douchey lol), but it's what I tell myself in my head when I'm currently not getting something I want and feel the desire to take the easy cop-out out and blame factors beyond my control.


----------



## Mr.Blayz

would you agree that everyone's smart at some things or in their own way, and equally incompetent in some areas or dumb in their own way


----------



## Dr.Horrible

wiarumas said:


> I'm an ENTJ type 3 male.
> 
> Ive done it all from being in a band, fraternity, marriage, parenting, and everything in between. I have genius level IQ, paint, cook, write poetry, short stories, novels, shoot guns, work on cars, etc.
> 
> Want to ask a guy anything - sex, relationships, personal questions, guy mentality, bro code - go ahead.


How is Babby formed?


----------



## searcheagle

Mr.Blayz said:


> would you agree that everyone's smart at some things or in their own way, and equally incompetent in some areas or dumb in their own way


No. While I agree that there are multiple forms of intelligence that doesn't mean that those are evenly distributed. 


If that were true, all engineers (Logical-mathematical/Spatial) would be unable to play sports (Bodily-kinesthetic) or play musical instruments (Musical), since they so far advanced in the Logical-Mathematical area.

As someone who works with a lot of engineers, I can assure you that that is not the case. 

Nothing in earth is is naturally evenly distributed, including intelligence. Some people have a lot of multiple forms of intelligence. Some people have a lot of one. Others may be average in all. Some people may be below average in multiple categories.


----------



## Mr.Blayz

searcheagle said:


> No. While I agree that there are multiple forms of intelligence that doesn't mean that those are evenly distributed.
> 
> 
> If that were true, all engineers (Logical-mathematical/Spatial) would be unable to play sports (Bodily-kinesthetic) or play musical instruments (Musical), since they so far advanced in the Logical-Mathematical area.
> 
> As someone who works with a lot of engineers, I can assure you that that is not the case.
> 
> Nothing in earth is is naturally evenly distributed, including intelligence. Some people have a lot of multiple forms of intelligence. Some people have a lot of one. Others may be average in all. Some people may be below average in multiple categories.


could you say that it may be easier to estimate the competence of a man in certain areas, like a man that works under you as an engineer, however their overall intelligence away from work, or just outside the environment that you both share is nearly impossible to estimate


----------



## lordmercurio

Mr.Blayz said:


> could you say that it may be easier to estimate the competence of a man in certain areas, like a man that works under you as an engineer, however their overall intelligence away from work, or just outside the environment that you both share is nearly impossible to estimate


 there is different kinds of inteligence and also some thoeries about the clasification every single man and woman has all those kind of inteligence developed unitl certain level.


----------



## searcheagle

Mr.Blayz said:


> could you say that it may be easier to estimate the competence of a man in certain areas, like a man that works under you as an engineer, however their overall intelligence away from work, or just outside the environment that you both share is nearly impossible to estimate


I'm not talking about estimating. I'm talking at a theoretical basis. The types of intelligence I listed above were based off real theories that exist about different types of intelligence, which is based on interactions that occur inside the brain. And these lists of intelligence don't vary between work and home. (You might be referring to wisdom, which is different. That's the application of knowledge/intelligence, the actually have intelligence.) 

Look at the categories of the list, they show that many different applications for the same types of intelligence. Sports and engineering both use spatial intelligence. 


Let's just assume that there are 9 types of intelligence. (See list here) en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_multiple_intelligences :

So, if we rank a person's intelligence on a scale of 1 to 10, and make the average intelligence in each category 5.

If your hypothesis is true, everyone has an intelligence of 45 (9 types of intelligence x average of 5). 

This means that if a person is exception in 2 areas (scores 10), then they must score an average of 3.5 in all the remaining categories. But I know people who are excellent in 3 or 4 categories.


----------



## Mr.Blayz

searcheagle said:


> I'm not talking about estimating. I'm talking at a theoretical basis. The types of intelligence I listed above were based off real theories that exist about different types of intelligence, which is based on interactions that occur inside the brain. And these lists of intelligence don't vary between work and home. (You might be referring to wisdom, which is different. That's the application of knowledge/intelligence, the actually have intelligence.)
> 
> Look at the categories of the list, they show that many different applications for the same types of intelligence. Sports and engineering both use spatial intelligence.
> 
> 
> Let's just assume that there are 9 types of intelligence. (See list here) en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_multiple_intelligences :
> 
> So, if we rank a person's intelligence on a scale of 1 to 10, and make the average intelligence in each category 5.
> 
> If your hypothesis is true, everyone has an intelligence of 45 (9 types of intelligence x average of 5).
> 
> This means that if a person is exception in 2 areas (scores 10), then they must score an average of 3.5 in all the remaining categories. But I know people who are excellent in 3 or 4 categories.


i wasnt debating you, just bombarding you with questions


----------



## searcheagle

Mr.Blayz said:


> i wasnt debating you, just bombarding you with questions


I'm just taking the statements that you said to it's logical conclusions to answer your question. I'm not offended, if that's what you're trying to say.


----------



## sisnerozt

ok...im curious to know what any man would find appealing about an isfp woman? seriously curious...


----------



## JaySH

sisnerozt said:


> ok...im curious to know what any man would find appealing about an isfp woman? seriously curious...


That she's a woman! :tongue:


I don't know enough about ISFPs to say anything specific about them. 

Sorry...


----------



## wiarumas

Phantomwise said:


> A man in one of my classes stated "The only reason for a girl not to get asked out is if she is unattractive. Sorry girls, but if no one is asking you out, it means you're ugly."
> 
> So that came off to me as a very douchey thing to say. But I am wondering, what do you men think of this? Is there any truth to it?


Overly simplified. I think there are a lot of factors about a guy asking out a girl (see that reasons why you're still single thread for example. A lot of those are just as weighted as looks). I agree partially that general attractiveness is one of factors, but it doesn't always act by itself and there are redeeming qualities. A confident, genuinely interesting but unattractive woman is more likely to get asked out than a self loathing unattractive woman for example. I view that as one big liability and I'm not the type to play charity.


----------



## wiarumas

PrimroseMind said:


> What do you think of unconditional love?


What about it? Is it real? Surely. I'm sure a mother child relationship can evidence that. I even know people with unconditional love for their pets. 

Not as common as people like to hope. Not as perfect and whimsical either. Love, despite being notoriously an emotional power, has roots in choice. It's not a feeling, it's a decision to love someone no matter the conditions.


----------



## smallpeas

wiarumas said:


> Personally, no. I had intentions if I spent that much time with a person. I don't know what things are like for the guys on the other side of the fence, but as a thinker with little Fe, I don't particularly enjoy long chats if I have more important things to do (which can be sleep, no offense to the person. It can wait for another day). If I'm in the car dropping you off, at most we will wrap up our current conversation. To give you time like that at the expense of other things, means you take priority. For me, to have a person take that much priority means something. It's not just for anyone who wants to chat my ear off. I'm genuinely interested in what you have to say.


If you had _intentions_, would you assume the someone who spent 3 hours sitting in an idling car with you just talking (after 9 hours semi-socially around each other) had similar intentions?



If it were only 20 minutes (& maybe after a day of work together), would you assume the same?


----------



## wiarumas

smallpeas said:


> If you had _intentions_, would you assume the someone who spent 3 hours sitting in an idling car with you just talking (after 9 hours semi-socially around each other) had similar intentions?
> 
> If it were only 20 minutes (& maybe after a day of work together), would you assume the same?


20 minutes, I'd wonder. 

If it were hours, I would know. Personally, I would have made a move, but its tricky for some guys. Especially the variety that talk that long without making a move. Bit of a catch 22 haha.


----------



## Antipode

Do you enjoy chocolate milk?


----------



## wiarumas

The Umbraic Light said:


> Do you enjoy chocolate milk?


Yes.


----------



## nevermore

The Umbraic Light said:


> Do you enjoy chocolate milk?


Love it, but too much milk gives me breakouts. I try to enjoy it sparingly.


----------



## Antipode

nevermore said:


> Love it, but too much milk gives me breakouts. I try to enjoy it sparingly.


Really? I've always been told by doctors that the food = breakout conundrum is simply a myth; in fact, it's just your biology. (Of course, this is null if you have a slight allergic reaction to dairy.)

Hum, maybe its true on some level.


----------



## smallpeas

wiarumas said:


> If it were hours, I would know. Personally, I would have made a move, but its tricky for some guys. Especially the variety that talk that long without making a move. Bit of a catch 22 haha.


He did seem to like to talk.  Honestly, a part of my fascination was wanting to see how he was going to resolve the whole thing. 




wiarumas said:


> 20 minutes, I'd wonder.


Really? Really really? 
And with that, I think I may have inadvertently led a few people on before. :dry:



Update: Car chat guy just texted me some random thing from his destination city. I guess it's pretty clear he likes me. Either that or he really just likes throwing words at me


----------



## wiarumas

Crystall said:


> This has probably been asked before but... what's with the penis?
> 
> Also, kudos for carrying on with this humongously long thread.


What about the penis?


----------



## nevermore

The Umbraic Light said:


> Really? I've always been told by doctors that the food = breakout conundrum is simply a myth; in fact, it's just your biology. (Of course, this is null if you have a slight allergic reaction to dairy.)
> 
> Hum, maybe its true on some level.


Possibly the latter actually; my aunt is lactose intolerant. 

I don't give too much credence to the pronouncements of health professionals, one way or the other. I wish I could, but they change their minds so much I pretty much take everything with a grain of salt at this point.


----------



## Crystall

wiarumas said:


> What about the penis?


Whats that like and where can I get one?


----------



## Mr.Blayz

wiarumas said:


> Is everyone good/smart at something? No. I think it's too optimistic to say everyone excels in something. Most people, maybe, but I view a fairly sizeable chunk of civilization as generally mediocre or average at best.
> 
> Is everyone dumb at something? Yes. Nobody excels at everything. We all have weak spots.


i hope this doesnt offend anyone but your answer was the best, tho the only answers could be based on theory, as we can not know whats in the minds of everyone, but you have a good point


----------



## phony

So I've heard a lot about how the "tightness" of a vagina feels good/bad and things like that, but what about depth? Does it affect penetrative sex much?


----------



## milti

The "What Determines You'll Have Sex" thread brought this question to mind: In what cases would you _refuse_ to have sex with someone?


----------



## Crystall

phony said:


> So I've heard a lot about how the "tightness" of a vagina feels good/bad and things like that, but what about depth? Does it affect penetrative sex much?


Now there's a question I didn't even know I wanted to know. 

Ohh ohh ohh, also, I have another one! Do different women "feel" very different when you're in there? Because I had a friend who used to brag about how she was particularly nice and smooth inside which apparently drove all the boys to her yard.


----------



## carlaviii

Crystall said:


> Ohh ohh ohh, also, I have another one! Do different women "feel" very different when you're in there? Because I had a friend who used to brag about how she was particularly nice and smooth inside which apparently drove all the boys to her yard.


Seconded. I've gotten compliments, but that warm-afterglow stage always seems like the wrong time to go into Analytical Mode and ask what they mean by that.


----------



## Qvinde

How does it feel to cum? How does it feel to be inside a vagina? Is vaginal sex better than analsex?


----------



## Hypaspist

phony said:


> So I've heard a lot about how the "tightness" of a vagina feels good/bad and things like that, but what about depth? Does it affect penetrative sex much?


I'm woefully lacking in "field experience", but "intel"-wise, it depends on size of the male's unit. A deeper vagina can be a good thing, but if the guy's a bit "short", it can lead to inadequate stimulation for the female. Sex toys cure that. About feel, I couldn't tell ya, I don't think there's really a reliable way to tell how deep a woman is on the fly other than her height (taller woman, deeper canal supposedly) which would be ballparking at best.



Qvinde said:


> How does it feel to cum? How does it feel to be inside a vagina? Is vaginal sex better than analsex?


Vaginal is cleaner and is more "normal". With all the lubrication and anti-friction devices (any additional lube and condom) it's a better idea than anal imo. Obviously there's no lube back there and I really wouldn't touch the anal issue with a 40 foot pole. That and I've been torn into by a female friend of mine for entertaining the idea that anal with a woman would be a possibility _if she wanted it_​.


----------



## smallpeas

If a hetero man casually but individually invites you (a female) to some event of his (e.g. a BBQ), what should be the tip-offs that it's more than a friendly invite?*

Does the fact that I'm even wondering in this particular case mean I should assume he is interested in more than friends? Should I just assume an unattached hetero man personally asking me to attend non-circumstantial social things is interested? i.e. Do friendly social invites ever happen?


*(We worked together a few times recently & got along well.)


----------



## nevermore

smallpeas said:


> If a hetero man casually but individually invites you (a female) to some event of his (e.g. a BBQ), what should be the tip-offs that it's more than a friendly invite?*
> 
> Does the fact that I'm even wondering in this particular case mean I should assume he is interested in more than friends? Should I just assume an unattached hetero man personally asking me to attend non-circumstantial social things is interested? i.e. Do friendly social invites ever happen?
> 
> 
> *(We worked together a few times recently & got along well.)


Are you typically considered attractive by most men? (I know that seems blunt, but it's an important point; it increases the chances.) Is he looking or smiling at you in a certain way? Does he have a fair number of female friends that he invites to events like this? (You will find this out when you attend the party if you don't know it already).

This is a very individual thing. I bet a lot of men would be interested. Given your backstory (you know each other but not too too well) the sudden invite is best explained by him being interested in you, but then again it's hard for me to tell without knowing either of you. I would selfishly tell you not to assume something but that's because I get annoyed (and rather saddened) when uninterested women mistrust my intentions when I'm just trying to be friendly.

What about you? Are you interested in him?


----------



## wiarumas

Crystall said:


> Whats that like and where can I get one?


Hard to say since i dont know what its like to not have one. It's like carrying around an external organ between your legs that sometimes wakes up and makes you want to do stuff. You can find them anywhere. Market is saturated with supply.


----------



## wiarumas

phony said:


> So I've heard a lot about how the "tightness" of a vagina feels good/bad and things like that, but what about depth? Does it affect penetrative sex much?


Not really. I think it feels best if a man can penetrate fully - to bury it deep to the pelvic bone - but if a position doesn't allow full entry or a girl is not deep enough, it's not really that bad. As long as most of the penis can penetrate, it's fine. And personally I've never encountered an issue when I couldn't insert at least most of my dick . Extra depth is not noticed.

Also, for what it's worth, tightness has never been an issue for me either. Maybe I'm just lucky but I've never encountered a girl who was too loose or shallow or whatever to be that detrimental to sex, and I've experienced some relatively looser women. I think there might be some psychological things associated with tightness, probably tied to youth or innocence. I don't really see the problem though.


----------



## wiarumas

milti said:


> The "What Determines You'll Have Sex" thread brought this question to mind: In what cases would you _refuse_ to have sex with someone?


Disease, mental instability, hygiene, and to a lesser degree trust/respect. The standards for me to have sex with a person is much lower than the standards of having a relationship with them. I will sample the foods on display in a grocery store, but it takes more for me to buy the product if that makes sense. Don't get me wrong, I'm not pursuing and sleeping with just anyone, but if the opportunity is there like having a woman practically throw herself at me, I have in my past, capitalized on it. This is probably the source of the sayings why buy the cow when you get the milk for free, women give sex for love, etc because it doesn't really work that way for me. The pursuit of sex and the pursuit of relationship are two separate paths that only occasionally cross over.


----------



## wiarumas

Crystall said:


> Now there's a question I didn't even know I wanted to know.
> 
> Ohh ohh ohh, also, I have another one! Do different women "feel" very different when you're in there? Because I had a friend who used to brag about how she was particularly nice and smooth inside which apparently drove all the boys to her yard.


Yes, actually I have noticed different textures, muscles, and angles down there. Not really during sex, but during foreplay since my fingers are more able to distinguish the differences. The sensation during sex is pretty much the same though - possibly some more notable differences close and during orgasm. Not enough to drive all the boys to the yard. I guess it's kinda like penises and how they aren't all the same shape, angle, textures, etc but in the end it feels kinda the same in the moment.


----------



## wiarumas

Qvinde said:


> How does it feel to cum? How does it feel to be inside a vagina? Is vaginal sex better than analsex?


Sex feels good. Satisfying. It's a pretty flat plateau of pleasure. When the orgasm starts getting close, things start to feel too good. This feel good pleasure of pressure starts building up down there. If you stop or slow down or get distracted, it dissipates. If you keep going, the pressure increases more and more until the moment of orgasm hits - you cant hold it back anymore - which is only a couple seconds of a feel good release where you are coming followed by a release of relaxing chemicals. Then, it's over and you feel a bit paralyzed - the slang "spent" is a good way to describe it.

Being inside a vagina feels satisfying in a way. Like arriving at your destination. It's tight, warm, and moist. Accommodating mentally. 

It's hard to compare vaginal and anal. Anal feels different. It's very tight in a strong muscle kind of way, warm, but never as moist even with lube. Vaginal is more satisfying physically. Despite anal being break your dick off tighter, the vagina is accommodating in tightness. It doesn't default to tight - it conforms to what is inside and does all kinda of stuff during sex. The muscles react. Anal might have a bit of a psychological edge - taboo, power, submission, trust - but it doesn't really do anything special. I personally prefer vaginal since I want freedom to go as fast and hard as I want. Anal is more cautious and restrictive. Nice at times, but meant more for certain occasions and not part of routine.


----------



## smallpeas

nevermore said:


> Are you typically considered attractive by most men? (I know that seems blunt, but it's an important point; it increases the chances.) Is he looking or smiling at you in a certain way? Does he have a fair number of female friends that he invites to events like this? (You will find this out when you attend the party if you don't know it already).


- Most? I don't know. But enough, it seems yes.
- . . There were moments that seemed out of his typical. Basically, any time a non-high Fe type treats me like more than a bro at work, it can get questionable. (It's a pretty butch, egalitarian setting.) Protective points to affection. More than friendly--if it's not like with the other bros, potentially.
- Don't know for sure, but I doubt it. (He's no INF.)




nevermore said:


> I would selfishly tell you not to assume something but that's because I get annoyed (and rather saddened) when uninterested women mistrust my intentions when I'm just trying to be friendly.


Yes, it's troubling to me to no longer feel like I can have guy friends. 

Minus once, every time in the last 2 years I've tried to make new guy friends of the hetero unattached variety, I become aware that they like me. I realized it's actually been like that for far longer than 2 years. I was just oblivious to it before. (e.g. They suddenly get upset with or weird around you (the way someone you're dating might) & you have no idea why. They make jokes about getting married or having kids or sex together (& you know they aren't fully joking). . . .)




nevermore said:


> What about you? Are you interested in him?


No. When I'm interested, I leave no uncertainty.
I asked the question because my whole path in life is to avoid needlessly awkward or painful situations.

I didn't go to the event. Too loaded a situation. But I guess I'll find out soon enough if this one has more-than-bro intent when he sees me at an upcoming thing . . . with someone else.


----------



## wiarumas

smallpeas said:


> If a hetero man casually but individually invites you (a female) to some event of his (e.g. a BBQ), what should be the tip-offs that it's more than a friendly invite?*
> 
> Does the fact that I'm even wondering in this particular case mean I should assume he is interested in more than friends? Should I just assume an unattached hetero man personally asking me to attend non-circumstantial social things is interested? i.e. Do friendly social invites ever happen?
> 
> *(We worked together a few times recently & got along well.)


Yes, just as friends invite happen. I suspect that he is inviting you as a prospective girlfriend though from what I've read so far. You won't know until you show up. Even then it can be complicated to tell depending on how suave he is/isn't - hosting and pursuing a girl can be a tough task. I would pay attention to how he talks to you, touches you, introduces you to others, etc. if I invite a female friend to a social function (not common) the difference is typically come alone vs bring more people (typically other/more girls as I'd want to avoid a sausage fest by having a healthy girl/guy ratio).


----------



## smallpeas

wiarumas said:


> I suspect that he is inviting you as a prospective girlfriend though *from what I've read so far.* [...] If I invite a female friend to a social function (not common) the difference is typically come alone vs bring more people (typically other/more girls as I'd want to avoid a sausage fest by having a healthy girl/guy ratio).


I was thinking if it was a friendly invite, he would have added "bring as many people as you like" or some such. Plus, a friend pointed out that I completely overlooked the fact that this invite was to his "far off" house (guy's words). Zoinks!

I passed on the event. We'll see what happens at upcoming one with co-workers though.


(Note: this is a different guy from car chat guy (or 3-times date-avoided guy))




wiarumas said:


> Personally, no. I had intentions if I spent that much time with a person. [...] To give you time like that at the expense of other things, means you take priority. For me, to have a person take that much priority means something. It's not just for anyone who wants to chat my ear off. I'm genuinely interested in what you have to say.


So, 2nd update on car chat guy: he got in touch again right after getting back into town & we're basically having a day-long date today. I guess it's safe to say this one's more-than-bro interested. 
:laughing:


----------



## wiarumas

smallpeas said:


> Minus once, every time in the last 2 years I've tried to make new guy friends of the hetero unattached variety, I become aware that they like me. I realized it's actually been like that for far longer than 2 years. I was just oblivious to it before. (e.g. They suddenly get upset with or weird around you (the way someone you're dating might) & you have no idea why.
> .


It's about priorities. At a certain age, a lot of men have no interest in making friends, women and men included. But the difference is, if I was single and looking, every girl is fair game for a dating prospect in my mind. Friendship isn't on the radar. 

Friendship happens accidentally or through restriction (girlfriend of an friend, wife of a friend, friend of a wife, both married, at work, etc).  Not something I pursue actively.


----------



## smallpeas

wiarumas said:


> It's about priorities. At a certain age, a lot of men have no interest in making friends, women and men included. But the difference is, if I was single and looking, every girl is fair game for a dating prospect in my mind. Friendship isn't on the radar.
> 
> Friendship happens accidentally or through restriction (girlfriend of an friend, wife of a friend, friend of a wife, both married, at work, etc). Not something I pursue actively.


:sad:

Yes, I've told friends I no longer hang out with hetero men alone. Unless I'm not opposed to the idea of intercoursing them. I just don't want to be in the odd situation of their misreading my being friendly as romantic interest.


----------



## nevermore

smallpeas said:


> - Most? I don't know. But enough, it seems yes.
> - . . There were moments that seemed out of his typical. Basically, any time a non-high Fe type treats me like more than a bro at work, it can get questionable. (It's a pretty butch, egalitarian setting.) Protective points to affection. More than friendly--if it's not like with the other bros, potentially.


Yeah, I agree, it does sound like he is interested in you.

That being said, almost everyone treats people of different genders in a different way, even when they're _not_ interested. It's being "overly friendly" that I'm more interested in - normally that is both an attempt to make you like him_ and_ a deliberate hint that he likes you... 



> - Don't know for sure, but I doubt it. (He's no INF.)


Do you mean one of the INF personality types? I'm INTP and most of my friends are girls...



> Yes, it's troubling to me to no longer feel like I can have guy friends.
> 
> Minus once, every time in the last 2 years I've tried to make new guy friends of the hetero unattached variety, I become aware that they like me. I realized it's actually been like that for far longer than 2 years. I was just oblivious to it before. (e.g. They suddenly get upset with or weird around you (the way someone you're dating might) & you have no idea why. They make jokes about getting married or having kids or sex together (& you know they aren't fully joking). . . .)


Yeah, I hate to say it is pretty common. Depending, again, if you are seen as attractive by the guy or not. I'm pretty picky so usually the desire doesn't happen much but when an emotional connection is established, even if it's just friendship, it's pretty easy for attraction to form whether you saw it coming or not...



> No. When I'm interested, I leave no uncertainty.


As silly as I might sound I almost feel like thanking you; as a Thinker, overly subtle implications are one of my pet peeves....



> I asked the question because my whole path in life is to avoid needlessly awkward or painful situations.
> 
> I didn't go to the event. Too loaded a situation. But I guess I'll find out soon enough if this one has more-than-bro intent when he sees me at an upcoming thing . . . with someone else.


Lol, good idea. Unless he is really good at masking his emotion...


----------



## phony

Are kisses special to you?


----------



## wiarumas

phony said:


> Are kisses special to you?


No. They can elicit emotion in some cases and in many cases arouse me, but I don't see/feel anything special about it. From my understanding of the science of kissing, it's to biologically determine compatiability, fertility, and general health of the prospective mate. Also related, women prefer kissing to check whether they should have sex with someone when men use kissing to prove to the women they should have sex with them. Something about the exchange of chemicals via pheromones and in the saliva.


----------



## phony

Hmm this one's specifically for @_wiarumas_, I guess. How do you manage to do real adult work and baby manage AND go on PerC? lol, do you have a "PerC time slot" in your schedule?


----------



## wiarumas

phony said:


> Hmm this one's specifically for @_wiarumas_, I guess. How do you manage to do real adult work and baby manage AND go on PerC? lol, do you have a "PerC time slot" in your schedule?


The nature of my job fluctuates. I'll have periods where I work 70 hour workweeks where i spend 10-12 hours in the office with a line literally out my door with people trying to talk to me, go home and work some more, and then on weekends. And then I'll have periods where I come in three times a week, hang out for a couple hours and go home. This isn't to mention I have many periods of my day (hours) waiting on people to deliver something or respond to me. For example, I worked all last weekend, but all I did today was attend a meeting at 10 and I have another at 4. Ironically, despite not doing anything today, I have to work this evening after business hours until late tonight (but not going in tomorrow). It's a weird business. Im either entirely too overwhelmed or incredibly bored. 

I mentioned a couple times that I post everything from a phone or iPad and that's because perc is my time waster. I don't watch TV, play video games, watch sports. I typically pull up this site and see if I got any quotes/thanks and handle those before checking Facebook or the news or talking to my developer friend who is making iOS applications for me as a side business. It's strange I know, but answering if kisses are special to me or what would I do if I had a third nipple is relaxing to me. It's effortless. It's a break in a way that keeps my juices flowing and on my toes but with zero stress or risk. 

As for the baby, we have daycare, a babysitter/nanny, and my wife works only part time. It is really stressful at times, especially when he is sick, I have to watch him when I work from home, or a change of plans where I have to go into the office mid day, but its manageable. I'm very busy and very much a doer. I just don't sleep much haha. Probably why I drink.


----------



## EternalNocturne

phony said:


> Are kisses special to you?


I have no doubt they would be.. It's never happened, though.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

@wiarumas 

What's the freakiest thing that has happened to you since being a parent? I mean, surrounding your child. Did you have to respond quickly to what was happening? 

Do you have any fears or hang-ups regarding being a parent that you never thought you'd have? If so, would you share? 

As a type 3, would you say that if your Wife rejected you by wanting a divorce or cheating on you, it would activate your type 3 deep fear of being a failure/ worthless? 

Could you explain how it works for you that as an ENTJ, you probably aren't easily affected by other people, while also being an image focused type 3? Where would you say the focus is with your image conscious ways?


----------



## charlie the idealist

Why do guys never have the patience to try and get to know shy and reserved girls??????


----------



## Crystall

Is The Ladder Theory correct? 
Can men and women ever be friends? 
Is it worse for a woman to be fat but beautiful, or have a gorgeous body and an ugly face?


----------



## nevermore

charlie the idealist said:


> Why do guys never have the patience to try and get to know shy and reserved girls??????


Maybe because extroverted girls, by their nature, are more likely to get people's attention (because they are putting themselves out more)? Maybe because the extroverted girls are more likely to meet them halfway? Maybe because it's a big investment to spend time simply getting to know someone when you don't know what they will be like once you do? People usually want to get to know someone because some aspect of their personality is obvious from the start - it is appealing and they want to know more. The only guys who will approach you if you are overly shy and reserved, depending on just how reserved you are of course, either have a great gut-feeling around people or are just interested in you physically. (Because really, that's all they can tell about you if you're really withdrawn, other than the fact you are shy.) You have the give the person something for the person to want to bother - to know what they are bothering _for_. Also, not that all introverts lack self worth (I'm an Ixxx myself), but you did use the word "shy". That can be kind of cute, in guys and girls, but too much of it implies a lack of self-confidence. Why would you want to get to know someone who even doesn't seem to value their own selves?

There is nothing wrong with being an introvert; I am one myself. But if you want success _in_ the social world (relationships are a part of that) you have to engage _with_ the social world - there is just no way around that.


----------



## nevermore

Everyone seems to love this subject, and while I've commented on it at least a couple of times before on the site, this is the most thorough explanation of my thoughts...



Crystall said:


> Is The Ladder Theory correct?
> Can men and women ever be friends?


Can they _ever_ be friends?

Of course they can. But can they in _general_? When it comes down to it, I don't think this question really has a yes/no answer, but there is a list of things you should consider when you are thinking about entering this kind of relationship.

Ultimately, you have to read him (and yourself) well to see if you will be the sort of people who can handle it. As for him, there are some questions you can ask yourself. Does he have a lot of female friends? (Having lots of female friends tends to make men "pickier" around women because it removes a lot of the mystery surrounding the opposite sex, and he is less likely to crush on any woman he gets close to.) What is his approach to friendship? (Ie, does he want a deep, serious connection? Believe it or not this is not always good news. As positive as that trait is, it makes it more likely that he'll confuse it with romance - though again he may not.) Is he even attracted to you in the first place? (This may sound blunt but it obviously makes a big difference if he's not.) 

As for the summary of the Ladder Theory...maybe I am just missing something, but I honestly don't think it necessarily _matters_ that a guy "secretly wants" to have sex with a female friend. Of course they probably will if she is beautiful; that just seems obvious. But I don't really think it means anything (after all, there is a difference between "friend love" + physical attraction and romantic love). It is one party desiring the other _romantically_ that makes a male-female relationship cease to be a friendship, but that doesn't happen just because you fancy someone physically. Sexual attraction and romantic attraction can lead to each other, so I definitely think it is a risk, but by the same token sexual attraction can be suppressed for the good of the friendship (whether he and you are strong enough to do that is something you'll need to judge for yourself, as best you can). Developing a romantic attachment to a friend is much more likely to happen if the guy doesn't have many female friends in the first place, in my experience. It will be less special to him, and he is less likely to fall in love with you.

As for the Ladder Theory website as a whole, the guy just seems to be very masculine in personality. He seems to not have much use for women as friends. That's OK of course, but many men like to have at least a few female friends for one reason or another (probably the most common being that they are more comfortable talking about emotions with them). But that's not him, least that's the vibe I get, and obviously that has greatly influences his views on this subject. 

Ultimately, the biggest obstacle to male-female friendships is not "the man wanting to have sex with the woman", though a man wanting a relationship frequently does get in the way (and trust me, it works the opposite way too; I have had male-female friendships ruined because the girl I was friends with was interested in me romantically and I wasn't), but because other people tend to get jealous of their girlfriend/boyfriend being close friends with someone of the same sex. Sure, you can say something like "well just don't let them be alone together", but in my opinion you're not really friends with someone if you don't at least sometimes spend time alone, because that's often when you get to know a person well enough and deep enough to really deserve the label. And if a barrier that huge has to be imposed on you, it leaves less room for a friendship to flourish and thrive in the first place.

A good motivator, if either of you are ever tempted, is fear of ending the relationship. The "can they ever be friends question" I can answer more definitively is "can exes ever be friends" - usually, in my experience, the answer is no. If your relationship is really special to you the fear of ruining things can be a powerful motivation for the party who "wants it to be more" to stick to the status quo. But of course we all know how strong the temptation can still be, and how bad people are at self control. I think the conventional wisdom, that men tend to be worse in this regard, is probably true. So it is a risk, make no mistake, but there are still countless examples of it working out successfully.

For what it's worth most of my friends are girls, but then I don't fancy most of them physically - and I have both a very low sex drive and a somewhat jaded heart, which is guarded and cautious before it makes an emotional attachment to anyone, friend or lover.



> Is it worse for a woman to be fat but beautiful, or have a gorgeous body and an ugly face?


This question is too general to really be answered (I mean attraction is a complicated thing and there are so many factors that go into it), but I would say fat and beautiful so long as she is not too overweight. Being skinny is no guarantee of having a gorgeous body anyway - women look best when they are curvy.


----------



## wiarumas

In quote



Enfpleasantly said:


> @wiarumas
> 
> What's the freakiest thing that has happened to you since being a parent? I mean, surrounding your child. Did you have to respond quickly to what was happening?
> 
> *Im not sure if anything freaky happened. Lots of really exhausting sicknesses though, like croup, ear infections, and stomach bugs. He's been sick to the point where he was physically incapable of keeping food down - projectile vomiting over everything and everyone (including in my mouth before). Bad diarrhea that would leak through his pants, all over his crib, smeared throughout the living room. Oh and one time he had some type of nightmare or aspirated some reflux - not sure what it was but he was breathing weird in the middle of the night. Other than that though, he has been a trooper. No nasty falls, accidents with other kids, etc.*
> 
> Do you have any fears or hang-ups regarding being a parent that you never thought you'd have? If so, would you share?
> 
> *the biggest hang up I have with being a parent isn't even related to the child. It's the fact that it puts your relationship through the wringer. If a couple struggles to get along during dating or just as a married couple, they'll never survive parenthood. You will tired, stressed, disagreeing, confused, irritated, hopeless, all while experiencing droughts of sex, any type of affection or alone time, etc. it takes a hardy couple to survive it. *
> 
> As a type 3, would you say that if your Wife rejected you by wanting a divorce or cheating on you, it would activate your type 3 deep fear of being a failure/ worthless?
> 
> *depends on why. I've been cheated on before (not by my wife) and it was a devastating experience the first time - why would she do such a thing? I blamed myself but in time realized she was a slut (literally) and I should have foreseen it. The second girl who kinda cheated (she did some light stuff "accidentally" when drunk during spring break) didn't bother me at all. It feels more like a reason, a trigger, to automatically dismiss them and move on. Its sad, but liberating. If my wife cheated, I wouldn't blame myself - Im not the one that fucked up. Divorce, it might be different because there would have to be a significant reason to why she would divorce me. Sex is one thing - hormones, alcohol, short sightedness, etc - but divorce requires a culmination of many things which generally would represent me as unworthy. *
> 
> Could you explain how it works for you that as an ENTJ, you probably aren't easily affected by other people, while also being an image focused type 3? Where would you say the focus is with your image conscious ways?
> 
> *being an entj type 3 is about recognition and validation. How I view myself - how smart, how attractive, how successful, how funny, how awesome, etc - cannot be made with personal bias. If I think I'm funny but nobody else does, I'm not really funny then, right? So, a survey of people's opinions of me generates an accurate assessment of self. I do not take it personal - it is what it is. I can improve, adjust, adapt, to construct my image. This impersonal approach doesn't make me "affected" but instead provides opportunity for growth. It seems hypocritical in a way that I would seek approval from others withou actually caring what they think, but its only because I trust their honesty and prospective like an anonymous survey - not that I actually require their approval.
> 
> *


----------



## INTJellectual

Who do you imagine and think when you masturbate?


----------



## wiarumas

charlie the idealist said:


> Why do guys never have the patience to try and get to know shy and reserved girls??????


Attraction is driven by substance - in order to be attracted, something needs to attract. Like a "good guy" whose whole complaint about girls is that if a girl gave him a chance, in time they will discover that they are a good guy. That's not what people look for. They want evidence of attraction. Not the promise and hope that someday they will be attracted.


----------



## wiarumas

In quote



Crystall said:


> Is The Ladder Theory correct?
> 
> *i don't think it's correct, but it does have some truths in it. I consider it a pretty interesting observation, but nowhere near a scientific fact. *
> 
> Can men and women ever be friends?
> 
> *yes. I think a bigger question is, can they be friends with absolutely zero sexual interest? In my experience, I was friends with girls who I would not actively pursue sex with, but have entertained the thought of possibly having sex with them if the opportunity ever came to varying degrees. *
> 
> Is it worse for a woman to be fat but beautiful, or have a gorgeous body and an ugly face?
> 
> *varies case to case. depends on what kind of body and what kind of face. I have seen larger women with very nice "larger" bodies for example. Add in a pretty face and I would definitely prefer that over a gorgeous body and a face of a hockey player. But if the body was sloppy fat and the face of the other girl was ugly but natural and in a way pleasant, I'd opt for that. There is no hard rule where one aspect is more important than the other, and this is also ignoring the fact that body can change and faces are pretty much permanent. *


----------



## wiarumas

INTJellectual said:


> Who do you imagine and think when you masturbate?


Nobody in particular. I think more about sexual acts in general. The woman may be some sort of mash up of various women.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Great answers @wiarumas, thank you, and yes, a couple surviving parenthood is pretty astonishing anymore really. 

So as far as validation, you use people in general as sort of a...tool, if you will? Like a measuring device to see how you are doing meeting the image you want for yourself?



wiarumas said:


> Nobody in particular. I think more about sexual acts in general.* The woman may be some sort of mash up of various women.*


Would it bother you if your Wife masturbated while thinking about other men?


----------



## wiarumas

In quote



Enfpleasantly said:


> Great answers @wiarumas, thank you, and yes, a couple surviving parenthood is pretty astonishing anymore really.
> 
> So as far as validation, you use people in general as sort of a...tool, if you will? Like a measuring device to see how you are doing meeting the image you want for yourself?
> 
> *yes, for the most part. I wouldn't say I use them though - people are more than just their opinion. This part (I'm assuming Fi vs Fe) is separated. Their opinions are just compiled like a tool to assess myself for myself. And I'm not sure if I like the term image either. Images can be deceiving. I want image to match reality. I don't want to be perceived as successful. I want to actually be successful. The difference is that it's for me - self motivation - vs just what others think. *
> 
> Would it bother you if your Wife masturbated while thinking about other men?
> 
> *Specific men? Yes, because they are real and show real world desires. Fictional, imaginary, or mash ups, I wouldn't mind because its just the mind being creative and not having direct intent. The difference is people vs sexual objects. I would take the former personal since it highlights some type of personal shortcoming. *


----------



## Enfpleasantly

wiarumas said:


> In quote


So rather than "image", would you say it is more personal standards of self? What about the chameleon ways a type 3 can fall into? Can you identify an area where you sort of morph yourself to others? If so, is this for personal gain or is it for acceptance (or maybe neither or both)? 

Sorry if these questions make you cringe, haha!


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> So rather than "image", would you say it is more personal standards of self? What about the chameleon ways a type 3 can fall into? Can you identify an area where you sort of morph yourself to others? If so, is this for personal gain or is it for acceptance (or maybe neither or both)?
> 
> Sorry if these questions make you cringe, haha!


No, it's fine. They are making me take a look at myself in a way I usually don't so it's interesting. 

I wouldn't use standards either. Competition is at the heart of my type 3, so it's a way of knowing where I am in relation to others. Its about perspective more than standards. The part where standards come in is if I'm somehow losing in comparison. I don't need to have the most money, the biggest house, fastest car, or most beautiful wife, but I am trying to maximize my potential while avoiding shortcomings in any particular area. 

As for the chameleon ways, I mostly do this at work. My wife calls it "my business charm." It is for acceptance and personal gain as I do not view abusive power to be constructive. Leadership and power is granted from your peers, not assumed. I think Te users develop their approach on handling people early in their lives and I've never had to resort to "darker" ways. The path splitting towards type 8 and type 3. I was always intelligent and attractive, a killer combination, and I found charisma and logic to be the best method (if you are good looking, people listen; if you are smart, people follow). The one problem I have is with truly connecting with people (I have more of an avoidance of closeness and true emotional exposure), but I get by by smiling, humor, and trying to not be a dick on accident (which is sometimes harder than you think).


----------



## Enfpleasantly

wiarumas said:


> No, it's fine. They are making me take a look at myself in a way I usually don't so it's interesting.
> 
> I wouldn't use standards either. Competition is at the heart of my type 3, so it's a way of knowing where I am in relation to others. Its about perspective more than standards. The part where standards come in is if I'm somehow losing in comparison. I don't need to have the most money, the biggest house, fastest car, or most beautiful wife, but I am trying to maximize my potential while avoiding shortcomings in any particular area.
> 
> As for the chameleon ways, I mostly do this at work. My wife calls it "my business charm." It is for acceptance and personal gain as I do not view abusive power to be constructive. Leadership and power is granted from your peers, not assumed. I think Te users develop their approach on handling people early in their lives and I've never had to resort to "darker" ways. The path splitting towards type 8 and type 3. I was always intelligent and attractive, a killer combination, and I found charisma and logic to be the best method (if you are good looking, people listen; if you are smart, people follow). The one problem I have is with truly connecting with people (I have more of an avoidance of closeness and true emotional exposure), but I get by by smiling, humor, and trying to not be a dick on accident (which is sometimes harder than you think).


I don't want to be annoying, but I love "interviewing" type 3 Te doms, haha! It seems like it takes several of you to solve all of my questions surrounding your type...of the 3 of you I've questioned like this, every one of you have said you've never looked at yourselves like this before. 

One of my closest girlfriends is a type 3 ENTJ and one thing she says is that in relationships, she always has one foot out the door...she has yet to be in a healthy and long lasting relationship, so I think that's probably why. Can you relate to that at all? If so, where do you think it comes from? 

Here's another that might make you cringe...as far as failure/ worthlessness goes, you explained that it is not personally about others, but indirectly about them as a gauge. So, does that mean if you were to experience your fear of failure or worthlessness, would you feel it only coming from yourself alone, or does the fear include considering that others might see you as a failure/ worthless? Does that make sense? If others are involved, would it be only those closest to you that would concern you? This is probably different for each instinct. 

Do you know your instinct order btw? 

Again about the type 3 root fears, can you remember a time where you experienced the pain from your fears? If so, what did you do to cope? 

Do you feel like you know who you are, truly? Do you ever feel like you sometimes don't know exactly who you are? Was there a lesson you've learned in life that has helped you with this? 

*I know these are personal, so please don't respond if you don't want to...not that I have to tell you that, haha!


----------



## wiarumas

In quote



Enfpleasantly said:


> I don't want to be annoying, but I love "interviewing" type 3 Te doms, haha! It seems like it takes several of you to solve all of my questions surrounding your type...of the 3 of you I've questioned like this, every one of you have said you've never looked at yourselves like this before.
> 
> One of my closest girlfriends is a type 3 ENTJ and one thing she says is that in relationships, she always has one foot out the door...she has yet to be in a healthy and long lasting relationship, so I think that's probably why. Can you relate to that at all? If so, where do you think it comes from?
> 
> *well, I don't think I do that exactly. I think a better way to put it is that I don't have unrealistic optimism when it came to dating. So she may have convinced herself that the relationship isn't going to be forever so she's already prepared for the inevitable end. I can think of several scenarios when I've done this - in high school a couple times, in college dating high school girls, dating long distance, etc. the difference with me is that I wouldn't say I have a foot out the door. Rather, both are inside and I have no problem leaving if need be. As for never having a long term relationship, is that her fault or have the candidates been sub par? *
> 
> Here's another that might make you cringe...as far as failure/ worthlessness goes, you explained that it is not personally about others, but indirectly about them as a gauge. So, does that mean if you were to experience your fear of failure or worthlessness, would you feel it only coming from yourself alone, or does the fear include considering that others might see you as a failure/ worthless?
> 
> *if enough people hated me, thought i was worthless, or a failure, I would think maybe i am worthless/failure? The *self realization* is made from the consensus of the majority and that is what would ultimately would upset me. It is a thought that I somehow failed myself and I would immediately begin to make plans to build myself up and not let it happen again. *
> 
> Does that make sense? If others are involved, would it be only those closest to you that would concern you? This is probably different for each instinct.
> 
> *a single persons perspective doesn't bother me much. It's an outlier. If my wife hated me for some reason and no other person thought the same, I would question the legitimacy of her opinion. Now, if everyone in my family hated me, I would maybe consider the legitimacy of it. *
> 
> Do you know your instinct order btw?
> 
> *nope. *
> 
> Again about the type 3 root fears, can you remember a time where you experienced the pain from your fears? If so, what did you do to cope?
> 
> *i think so. I think it was junior year in high school I had a pretty tough time with some various things. I had a period of extreme introversion, or maybe self realization, lots of thinking, some outlets in music and some other more artsy forms of expression (shadow is ISFP, but think a lot more cynical and dark - the negative equivalence to the ENTJs level of extroversion). the man on the other side of it was different than the man prior. In some ways better, some ways worse. It probably couldn't have happened at a better time since it happened at the end of a chapter in my life and by the time college started, I was feeling refreshed, reinvigorated, and with a new direction/plan/purpose in life that coincided with opportunity. *
> 
> Do you feel like you know who you are, truly? Do you ever feel like you sometimes don't know exactly who you are? Was there a lesson you've learned in life that has helped you with this?
> 
> *does anyone knowow who they are truly? I think I have a good grasp of it - as good as any. I do feel stretched a bit at times. Maybe related to the chameleon thing you mentioned before. But I can "cleanse my palate" a bit and get back to my root self if that makes sense, mostly through music, exercise, and other personal activities that let me recharge my introverted functions. First you have to know and remember who you are, then tap into it every know and then so you don't get lost. Don't mistake the type 3s image for representation of who they are. It's a tool in itself, an extroverted one, and the introversion that lies underneath can be singing a completely different tune. *
> 
> *I know these are personal, so please don't respond if you don't want to...not that I have to tell you that, haha!


----------



## Enfpleasantly

wiarumas said:


> ...is that her fault, or have the candidates been sub par?


Both, but I see it as all her fault because she is the one who keeps going after the sub par idiots. I know she partially can't help that because she needs to work on herself first and then her sights will be set higher. The last idiot broke her freaking heart...well, I should say he broke her ego, because it was too toxic to be anything else. 

Her heart and attachment is not something she gives out easily. He crushed her so badly, she sobbed when she got me alone in her car with her, which she never does. She was crying so hard, I cried. I just hugged her and kept telling her that it was his loss, because she is one of a kind, which I truly believe with all my heart. She wasn't with him long, so I knew this was enneagram fear based pain...aka, she felt worthless because of what he did. The pain was unbearable for her to the point that I didn't know what to do for her. She thanked me and said I helped her, but I feel like I didn't because she was hurting so bad and I just wanted to take away her pain. 

I have been talking with her about learning to let people in...she came to a great observation that really made a lot of sense to me; she said that she needs to learn how to trust her intuition, and then she won't have to worry about trusting people. She will simply know when to listen to herself when her intuition kicks in. I thought that was a pretty good point. Unfortunately, I believe some things come from hitting rock bottom, and maybe rock bottom is what she needs in order to learn how to introvert in and listen to herself. 

Sorry for the tangent!


----------



## smallpeas

Why do men (you're dating) want to teach you the things *they *like? E.g. rock climbing, playing guitar?


I don't expect people I'm interested in to learn hiking or . . gardening, for example.


----------



## wiarumas

smallpeas said:


> Why do men (you're dating) want to teach you the things *they *like? E.g. rock climbing, playing guitar?
> 
> I don't expect people I'm interested in to learn hiking or . . gardening, for example.


Dating is an invitation into the person's life and lifestyle to see if you fit and are compatible. You say you don't expect the person you are dating to pick up hiking, but some men, if they hike, will be reluctant to date seriously the type of woman who doesn't enjoy hiking. It's kind of like a test. 

I would also go as far to say this is a major fear with men and commitment. To date a woman who doesn't share their love for hiking is sacrificing their independence and current way of life if they continue to date or marry them. To find a woman who likes to hike or shares their interests, they are more likely to retain their current way of life.

To give another example of this, I know a man who broke up with his fiancé over the fact that she refused to watch the back to the future movies. He said he could not be with a person who wouldn't let him watch them. It's probably more than that (i remember him telling me stories about her getting mad when he went cycling or jogging for long periods, different taste in music, diffetent expectations of house cleanliness) but it was the final straw that made him realize his life wouldn't be better being with her.


----------



## smallpeas

wiarumas said:


> Dating is an invitation into the person's life and lifestyle to see if you fit and are compatible. You say you don't expect the person you are dating to pick up hiking, but some men, if they hike, will be reluctant to date seriously the type of woman who doesn't enjoy hiking. It's kind of like a test.
> 
> I would also go as far to say this is a major fear with men and commitment. To date a woman who doesn't share their love for hiking is sacrificing their independence and current way of life if they continue to date or marry them. To find a woman who likes to hike or shares their interests, they are more likely to retain their current way of life.


Hmm. From my POV, I don't need people with vastly different interests to come hiking or rafting with me. I can & would rather do that with people who actually enjoy it (or by myself). Likewise, I don't feel I need to assimilate to whatever someone else enjoys. *We just don't need to do those things together.*

I can understand if you're talking about lifestyle, someone who lives to rock climb or surf or travel or eat (<--yes, I've dated that guy). Then being a part of an activity=being a part of someone's world. But I don't find my interests to define who I am, so someone sharing or not sharing them doesn't mean terribly much to me. I can go do them on my own. I suppose I'm *more focused on common values* & general outlook/energy.


A guy recently wanted me to learn to play guitar on a date. I didn't & don't get it. That doesn't even seem like an activity to me. That's like wanting me to learn & love Polish. It was a bit of a turn-off. (Despite being musical myself.)



*- Do you think men in general associate their interests, tastes, or even their jobs with who they actually are?*

*- Is there a way to say to a man, "I like you, but we don't need to do the things we like together?"* My friends seem to understand this.


----------



## phony

Strangest place you've tried shaving?


----------



## Enfpleasantly

What do you think about movies with sad or open endings? Do you appreciate an ending like that, or does it ruin the entire movie for you? Neither, both? 

@_wiarumas_, I think you mentioned that you are kind of OCD germaphobish...so is that because of anxiety surrounding your health and well being, or is it more about being creeped out by other people's germs because they aren't yours? Neither, both?


----------



## searcheagle

Enfpleasantly said:


> What do you think about movies with sad or open endings? Do you appreciate an ending like that, or does it ruin the entire movie for you? Neither, both?


I don't like movies with sad or open endings. It ruins the whole movie. I want you to tell me what happens, I don't want to figure out your artistic impression of the film. I'd say that about 90% sad/open end I don't like.


----------



## Wellsy

Enfpleasantly said:


> What do you think about movies with sad or open endings? Do you appreciate an ending like that, or does it ruin the entire movie for you? Neither, both?


Fine with it, it's a nice mix up to a common happy ending. I sometimes enjoy films that go as far as to pretty much kill every character, just over the top drama. Open endings are sometimes good, that's very context dependent as sometimes it's nice to leave what happens up to the viewer and think of what happened but never knowing.
But at the same time it can just be lazy and forced.
I think about sad endings like dissonance in music, sometimes you get bored with the clean cut perfect kinds of art and need something to step away from that. So in this case I assume the majority of films are happy endings, well it's nice to get what you didn't expect and things be sad. The few Korean movies i've watched have been interesting endings, one didn't really escalate and was just really sad, no hope for the characters, but it gave it more impact that way.


----------



## wiarumas

Jojo17 said:


> I was thinking of it as more of an isolated incident. If a man and woman pass a supermodel on the street, both she and the man will say/think, "she's beautiful." If a woman and a man pass a male model on the street, only the woman might say, "he's hot." Would the man think it, or is he really incapable of looking at another man objectively? On the rare occasion when guys do compliment their own sex, they have to add some kind of "no ****" comment. (Not all men, but it's something I've wondered).


If I passed a really attractive man on the street, my testosterone kicks in and I get competitive. It's not as primitive as wanting to puff out my chest and want to chase him away from my territory, but I'd say it more closely resembles that behavior than admiration. 

Here is one of my least favorite things. When my wife has girl dates and brings me with to meet the boyfriend/husband of the girl. It's always super awkward and borderline hostile at first... Then sometimes loosening up and end up liking each other, but that first introduction, its more of a conflict than anything.


----------



## Swede

@wiarumas 
What you describe sounds like focus more than 'nothing' or maybe I'm not getting it? I had a really hard time escaping the constant buzzing in my head a couple of decades ago (granted,my life was incredibly messed up at the time). I discovered that I love embroidery and sewing, because it forces me to focus on what my hands do. It is pretty meditative that way. I usually say. That. Its not a coincidence that craft is used as therapy at mental care centers. 
I used to work out a lot, but if it wasn't something that took real focus, my thoughts would still be flapping about and I wouldn't get a mental rest. (Which is why I am not crazy about running.)

You are right about women and sex, sometimes it is a really big challenge to get there because many of us can't shut down the thoughts - I'd say that for many women, we don't necessarily focus on sex automatically, which may be why a lot of women need foreplay, a 'connection', etc. There are also instances where you just kinda lay there and wait for it to get over with, because its boring or not real great. It's up to us to bring it up, but sometimes you just prefer not to hurt your partner's feelings or it is really not a big enough deal to make it worth bringing up.


----------



## carlaviii

wiarumas said:


> Unless I'm trying to prolong orgasm (which is also a good example how thinking about baseball or math takes our focus off sex and can make us last longer). But apparently women's mind can wander and start thinking about random shit while getting it? I've heard stories of women thinking about stress, other things that need to be done, the temperature of the room, the time, etc while also in the act? During sex, I wouldn't even be able to tell you the what day of the week it is.


Heh, if I'm still capable of thinking about anything but what's going on, he isn't doing a very good job. 

I used to be able to let my mind wander during sex, but it turns out that was because I wasn't fully engaged, enjoying it, and yeah, he wasn't doing a good job. Didn't know that until I started finding higher-quality playmates. (couldn't see the forest for the trees, and all that.) 

So IMO, you're doing it right. Then again, you seem to be doing most things right.


----------



## carlaviii

Swede said:


> There are also instances where you just kinda lay there and wait for it to get over with, because its boring or not real great. It's up to us to bring it up, but sometimes you just prefer not to hurt your partner's feelings or it is really not a big enough deal to make it worth bringing up.


...and that's how I lost 15 years in a miserable marriage. Life is too short. Don't just lay there and take it.


----------



## wiarumas

Swede said:


> @wisrumas
> What you describe sounds like focus more than 'nothing' or maybe I'm not getting it? I had a really hard time escaping the constant buzzing in my head a couple of decades ago (granted,my life was incredibly messed up at the time). I discovered that I love embroidery and sewing, because it forces me to focus on what my hands do. It is pretty meditative that way. I usually say. That. Its not a coincidence that craft is used as therapy at mental care centers.
> I used to work out a lot, but if it wasn't something that took real focus, my thoughts would still be flapping about and I wouldn't get a mental rest. (Which is why I am not crazy about running.)
> 
> You are right about women and sex, sometimes it is a really big challenge to get there because many of us can't shut down the thoughts - I'd say that for many women, we don't necessarily focus on sex automatically, which may be why a lot of women need foreplay, a 'connection', etc. There are also instances where you just kinda lay there and wait for it to get over with, because its boring or not real great. It's up to us to bring it up, but sometimes you just prefer not to hurt your partner's feelings or it is really not a big enough deal to make it worth bringing up.


Yes, it's focus. But focus on nothing. Like @carlaviii said, that's basically meditation. If you have trouble, come up with a mantra, a word with no meaning and concentrate on it - it has to be a word with no meaning, no potential for tangents, etc.


----------



## mrkedi

So I know this is contradictory in nature, but I am dying to ask since I know this is once of those important questions in life that no one like to answer and I hope you can shed a light into this (I have posted this is the woman version too):

Is there a way to find out if a person is sexual compatible with you w/o actually having sex with at person?!


----------



## Wellsy

mrkedi said:


> So I know this is contradictory in nature, but I am dying to ask since I know this is once of those important questions in life that no one like to answer and I hope you can shed a light into this (I have posted this is the woman version too):
> 
> Is there a way to find out if a person is sexual compatible with you w/o actually having sex with at person?!


With words I suppose. Discussing an awareness of what you may or do enjoy.
If someone shares that they are into dominating and a bit of rough play and you're not, well perhaps things might not click as well unless there's a meeting in the middle.
Perhaps discussing what you wouldn't do, because people leave an ambiguous "I'm pretty open sexually" and it doesn't really tell you much unless your probe them for what they're willing to do and if it gets them off or they just willing to do so for their partner.
Though not everyone is up for discussing such things like that for the sake of it and I now come to understand for some people discussing this to them equates to 'let's fuck'.


----------



## DAPHNE XO

I'm not sure if this has been asked before, sorry if it has...

What is a good concise, polite yet (incredibly) firm way to let a guy know I have absolutely zero interest in his existence and I would really appreciate it if he would quit trying to communicate with me in any way, shape or form.

I really am sick to death of guys like him - but I realise if I want him to get lost I just need to say something... it's been like 2+ years and he just doesn't get the hint. So I'm hoping someone can suggest a statement that shows I mean it?

*he changes his number every so often and because of who he is, I have to see him so ignoring him is kinda out of the question*


----------



## wiarumas

mrkedi said:


> So I know this is contradictory in nature, but I am dying to ask since I know this is once of those important questions in life that no one like to answer and I hope you can shed a light into this (I have posted this is the woman version too):
> 
> Is there a way to find out if a person is sexual compatible with you w/o actually having sex with at person?!


I agree with @Wellsy. Talking might be your best bet. It'll give you an idea of expectations, what their "style" while be, etc. Another idea is kissing - you can get an idea of compatibility that way too. Probably best with talking to get the best guess at what the sex will be like.


----------



## wiarumas

JungleDisco said:


> I'm not sure if this has been asked before, sorry if it has...
> 
> What is a good concise, polite yet (incredibly) firm way to let a guy know I have absolutely zero interest in his existence and I would really appreciate it if he would quit trying to communicate with me in any way, shape or form.
> 
> I really am sick to death of guys like him - but I realise if I want him to get lost I just need to say something... it's been like 2+ years and he just doesn't get the hint. So I'm hoping someone can suggest a statement that shows I mean it?
> 
> *he changes his number every so often and because of who he is, I have to see him so ignoring him is kinda out of the question*


You are going to have to meet his extreme persistence with an equally opposite reaction. So I would say forget politeness and be direct. You don't have to be mean, be honest. The difference being that mean is malicious with intent. Honesty is just the way it is. He has to deal with it. Sugar coating it will give him some hope, or at least enough to have him keep bothering you. He knows you aren't putting up enough resistance so he's continuing that behavior.


----------



## DAPHNE XO

wiarumas said:


> You are going to have to meet his extreme persistence with an equally opposite reaction. So I would say forget politeness and be direct. You don't have to be mean, be honest. The difference being that mean is malicious with intent. Honesty is just the way it is. He has to deal with it. Sugar coating it will give him some hope, or at least enough to have him keep bothering you. He knows you aren't putting up enough resistance so he's continuing that behavior.


Why do guys try to "befriend" a girl who seems so unconcerned about them for so long?

Particularly if they are already in a relationship?


----------



## wiarumas

JungleDisco said:


> Why do guys try to "befriend" a girl who seems so unconcerned about them for so long?
> 
> Particularly if they are already in a relationship?


Probably trying to pull off an inside job - befriend, prove your worth, get girl. 

Flawed plan IMO, but doesn't stop people from trying.


----------



## unINFalliPle

Men- Given that this has been your experience or see it hypothetically, do you ever tell a girl that you've had a few meaningless interactions with girls but never anything serious, until she came along? In saying this, do you actually mean it? Do you want to pursue a relationship with this girl whereas in the past it wasn't an interest with other girls or you didn't have an opportunity? Do you say this just to make the current girl feel special? 

2nd time a guy has said it to me. Do I attract casual guys who want to pursue something more seriously? Do I attract guys that like giving me the illusion that I'm different? Do I just scream relationship? Am I just falling for guys who are throwing me lies? Rofl.


----------



## StElmosDream

unINFalliPle said:


> Do I attract casual guys who want to pursue something more seriously? Do I attract guys that like giving me the illusion that I'm different? Do I just scream relationship? Am I just falling for guys who are throwing me lies? Rofl.


Only you can decide this, but from experience when people are not in a hurry for last base there are so few people worthy of noting seeking something more serious with; fearing they will get rejected or dumped for being 'so forward so fast' (I for example typically mean what I say but occasionally have a tendency to see the best in people before the bad).


----------



## Abdurrahman Kh

unINFalliPle said:


> Men- Given that this has been your experience or see it hypothetically, do you ever tell a girl that you've had a few meaningless interactions with girls but never anything serious, until she came along? In saying this, do you actually mean it? Do you want to pursue a relationship with this girl whereas in the past it wasn't an interest with other girls or you didn't have an opportunity? Do you say this just to make the current girl feel special?


Id never lie about this stuff, but I know friends who will, and not for the sake of getting laid, they are just the biggest jerks in the world (lie first, determine why later)... 
relationships are very complicated for me, but all I can say, stay away from guys who "play games" or lie a lot, because my jerk-friends are like this


----------



## TWN

Jojo17 said:


> I was thinking of it as more of an isolated incident. If a man and woman pass a supermodel on the street, both she and the man will say/think, "she's beautiful." If a woman and a man pass a male model on the street, only the woman might say, "he's hot." Would the man think it, or is he really incapable of looking at another man objectively? On the rare occasion when guys do compliment their own sex, they have to add some kind of "no ****" comment. (Not all men, but it's something I've wondered).


The men Im with do this frequently.

The perks of being with bisexual men.


----------



## TWN

unINFalliPle said:


> Men- Given that this has been your experience or see it hypothetically, do you ever tell a girl that you've had a few meaningless interactions with girls but never anything serious, until she came along? In saying this, do you actually mean it? Do you want to pursue a relationship with this girl whereas in the past it wasn't an interest with other girls or you didn't have an opportunity? Do you say this just to make the current girl feel special?
> 
> 2nd time a guy has said it to me. Do I attract casual guys who want to pursue something more seriously? Do I attract guys that like giving me the illusion that I'm different? Do I just scream relationship? Am I just falling for guys who are throwing me lies? Rofl.



Well, and when I ask this its not to be disrespectful, are you actually special? Different? Unique?

If you were you probably wouldn't be asking this question.

So you find yourself wondering "If im not special, these men must be lying to get into my pants"

I think you're correct, but I dont know you personally.


----------



## TWN

mrkedi said:


> So I know this is contradictory in nature, but I am dying to ask since I know this is once of those important questions in life that no one like to answer and I hope you can shed a light into this (I have posted this is the woman version too):
> 
> Is there a way to find out if a person is sexual compatible with you w/o actually having sex with at person?!


No, because I have no idea how I will react to someone else's body.

I have no idea what is going to happen; I dont know if this person is going to have me begging for seconds, or kicking them out before they can ask for a third date.

Anal sex.

The first time I had anal sex I didnt know it would happen; i had hoped it would, I prepared for it, but I was unaware.

35 minutes into hardcore banging a 6-foot-8-inch giant stuck 9 inches of mancock in my ass without giving me a heads up.

I could have punched him in the face. Most people would have punched him in the face.

But, I didnt. Because it felt good.

That one move could have turned the BEST sex partner ive ever had into the worst. But, for whatever reason, it turned me on that day. (Now, I explicitly tell men "Unless you want to get punched in the nuts, do not stick it in my ass without telling me")

I cant for sure say if the reason (Behind why I didnt punch him) was completely rooted in pleasure; maybe I just liked how forward he was, and the pleasure gave me a reason to enjoy it.

Another guy pulling that same move could easily be labeled a bad partner.

And so, yes, I need to engage in sex with people in order to gauge how sexually compatible we are.


----------



## ThirdArcade

@_wiarumas_ - I met a guy through my cousin last year. I am 27, he is 26. Long story short, we met up a few times after we met just as friends in a group. Anyway, last time we met (in March) things got hot and heavy - we started making out, feeling each other up. I told him within the first 20 minutes that it wouldn't go any further. He was respectful and we continued to kiss. He walked me to the train station and gave me a few soft kisses. Texted him, he texted me back (just a flirty message). Decided not to meet for a few weeks due to school work. Anyway, a mutual friend of ours (let's call him "M") suggested I just ask him to sleep with me no strings attached. I am a virgin btw. Anyway, I decided why the hell not - I texted him and offered and he called me, but I missed his call. So, I'll never know what he intended to say to me. After that we never made contact.I removed him from my Facebook and cellphone in hopes of not going to crazy. Last night, "M" confirmed once again confirmed that his friend liked me for my intelligence, but didn't want to take anything further because I was a virgin and that right now he wanted to look at the possibilities of where we could go, but I was pushing a bit much. "M" (and ENTP) offered to take my virginity if I really wanted too. He has already slept with 19 women and said that my v-card is going to scare guys away. He said that I may as well loose to him since neither of us having feelings towards each other and really in the longrun it will put less pressure on other guys I meet (since I will be sexually experienced). "M" said it is worse to loose one's virginity to someone that they love, only to have it ruin the relationship. I thought about taking him up on this offer. I feel like a total leper since his friend (who I believe is an INFJ) turned me down - which man turns down no-strings attached sex from a single, attractive, and whom he calls an intelligent woman? What's your thoughts?


----------



## Chaerephon

unINFalliPle said:


> Men- Given that this has been your experience or see it hypothetically, do you ever tell a girl that you've had a few meaningless interactions with girls but never anything serious, until she came along?


Well I personally have never said that. If anything it sounds slightly BPD to me.


unINFalliPle said:


> In saying this, do you actually mean it?


They probably think they mean it. In reality, it probably isn't the truth.


unINFalliPle said:


> Do you want to pursue a relationship with this girl whereas in the past it wasn't an interest with other girls or you didn't have an opportunity?


They probably don't, even if they "think" they do.


unINFalliPle said:


> Do you say this just to make the current girl feel special?


Most likely. Although it could be true, I don't think saying they are better than the meaningless ones before means much...


unINFalliPle said:


> 2nd time a guy has said it to me. Do I attract casual guys who want to pursue something more seriously?


I don't know. We usually attract what we think about. Whether we think about how much we want, or don't want it doesn't matter. We tend to attract what we focus on.


unINFalliPle said:


> Do I attract guys that like giving me the illusion that I'm different?


Maybe. Maybe that is just how you like to be picked up. You enjoy men that tell you that you are different. So when you find a guy who just says things to make women like them, you fall for his words. From a guys point of view, this is sadly very easy to do...


unINFalliPle said:


> Do I just scream relationship?


What are you looking for?


unINFalliPle said:


> Am I just falling for guys who are throwing me lies? Rofl.


Men and women have very different sexual schemas. Most guys don't have a problem saying things when they have a hard on.


----------



## Hoff

ThirdArcade said:


> @_wiarumas_ - I met a guy through my cousin last year. I am 27, he is 26. Long story short, we met up a few times after we met just as friends in a group. Anyway, last time we met (in March) things got hot and heavy - we started making out, feeling each other up. I told him within the first 20 minutes that it wouldn't go any further. He was respectful and we continued to kiss. He walked me to the train station and gave me a few soft kisses. Texted him, he texted me back (just a flirty message). Decided not to meet for a few weeks due to school work. Anyway, a mutual friend of ours (let's call him "M") suggested I just ask him to sleep with me no strings attached. I am a virgin btw. Anyway, I decided why the hell not - I texted him and offered and he called me, but I missed his call. So, I'll never know what he intended to say to me. After that we never made contact.I removed him from my Facebook and cellphone in hopes of not going to crazy. Last night, "M" confirmed once again confirmed that his friend liked me for my intelligence, but didn't want to take anything further because I was a virgin and that right now he wanted to look at the possibilities of where we could go, but I was pushing a bit much. "M" (and ENTP) offered to take my virginity if I really wanted too. He has already slept with 19 women and said that my v-card is going to scare guys away. He said that I may as well loose to him since neither of us having feelings towards each other and really in the longrun it will put less pressure on other guys I meet (since I will be sexually experienced). "M" said it is worse to loose one's virginity to someone that they love, only to have it ruin the relationship. I thought about taking him up on this offer. I feel like a total leper since his friend (who I believe is an INFJ) turned me down - which man turns down no-strings attached sex from a single, attractive, and whom he calls an intelligent woman? What's your thoughts?


Well that depends on how much you value your virginity. Opinions are generally mixed on the value of a woman's virginity and experience, but I think that being a virgin should have virtually no chance of ruining any emotionally invested relationship. I personally can't imagine dumping a girl over being sexually inexperienced.

Being turned down by an INFJ should be a surprise to no one. If he's anything like me (as an IN), sexual intimacy with anyone takes a lot of trust and generally being comfortable around that person, which can take a long time. The social anxiety from being in a one night stand situation can be intense (I know from experience). Such a request is also morally dubious at best (for an FJ that probably means something).

My gut feeling says not to go for it. I can't imagine it ending with you saying "I'm glad I did that."


----------



## unINFalliPle

*StElmosDream*
*Abdurrahman Kh *
*TWN *
*NameUser *

Thanks! 

I don't want him to tell me these big words. I don't ask for them. I don't think he's saying them with the intention of getting in my pants. We spoke briefly of our pasts, so he didn't just blurt it out to me. I do trust him. I still want to get to know him more. You guys sound pretty negative about him.. But, I think I've learned and am going through it more rationally than I have in the past. Last guy said many empty promises so maybe that's why I'm a little peeved by it.


----------



## HouseOfFlux

Will you let me spank you?


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Men, what do you think about consensual domestic discipline? Such as spanking, corner time, writing lines, etc.? Meaning one partner assumes a dominant role and is trusted and followed because of their loving, guiding, and protective leadership. I'm NOT talking about abuse, insecurity and control against another's will. This is a consensual dynamic that creates a bond and happiness in both parties. There is mutual trust and respect, and also the submissive partner has a voice and is included in decisions when it is necessary. Again, NOT talking about one-sided control and abuse. 

Do you think you would enjoy a dynamic like this? If so, would you be a disciplinarian in a relationship like this, or would you prefer to be the one disciplined? 

And I also wanted to mention, I'm not talking about a doormat of a woman...I'm talking about a strong woman whom you earned this respect/trust from. 

You can be honest...I identify with many beliefs of feminism and the rights of women and think this is completely different than a man abusing a woman. So please don't be worried you'll be judged. I really would love honest answers. Thanks 

Eta: Also, not talking about a dynamic based on religious beliefs because that IMO is getting into fear based roots and automatic oppression based on gender roles. For the sake of clarity, let's keep religion out of it. Thanks.


----------



## Abdurrahman Kh

unINFalliPle said:


> Thanks!
> 
> I don't want him to tell me these big words. I don't ask for them. I don't think he's saying them with the intention of getting in my pants. We spoke briefly of our pasts, so he didn't just blurt it out to me. I do trust him. I still want to get to know him more. You guys sound pretty negative about him.. But, I think I've learned and am going through it more rationally than I have in the past. Last guy said many empty promises so maybe that's why I'm a little peeved by it.


Iam not bing negative about him, Iam just sayin some ppl are jerks, some ppl can be very nice... Its up to you to tell the difference, but if you trust him ... I want to say believe him, because he is feeling that way,,

sometimes you have strong feeling for someone so you tell him that he is very special
when things dont go well, you feel like you only said that as a compliment and you never, even you could not remember your feelings anymore

Iv read research about how the brain redraw the memories in your head when calling them, based on our current informations and feelings... you never remember things 100%

so, I think he is really feeling that you are s special to him right now, even if _someday_ told you that you were never special, that would be the lie, maybe he'll believe it too... but you're giving him that feeling right now, I hope it will always stay that way 

wish you both the best of luck :happy:


----------



## ThirdArcade

Hoff said:


> Well that depends on how much you value your virginity. Opinions are generally mixed on the value of a woman's virginity and experience, but I think that being a virgin should have virtually no chance of ruining any emotionally invested relationship. I personally can't imagine dumping a girl over being sexually inexperienced.


Nice to hear that you wouldn't dump a girl over being sexually inexperienced. It can turn problematic if one gets emotionally invested and later on finds out the girl is a virgin - which to some degree almost happened between us. He was very revealing about his life, but this of course stopped since he found out I was virgin.



Hoff said:


> Being turned down by an INFJ should be a surprise to no one. If he's anything like me (as an IN), sexual intimacy with anyone takes a lot of trust and generally being comfortable around that person, which can take a long time. *The social anxiety from being in a one night stand situation can be intense (I know from experience). *Such a request is also morally dubious at best (for an FJ that probably means something).
> 
> My gut feeling says not to go for it. I can't imagine it ending with you saying "I'm glad I did that."


Yeah, I see what you mean. I feel that the v-card will continue to inhibit me from forming relationships with a guy I am interested in, because he wil have to be the first to take my virginity and that can be a lot of pressure on a guy. He may not want to do that. INFJ guy would have gone ahead to get to know if it weren't for that fact I were a virgin - seems like he is putting more pressure on himself than I ever would. Thanks for your advice.


----------



## Curiously

Questions for a man:

How often do you get blue balls? Can you describe the feeling? I sympathize with your pain, so this is why I ask. Thanks in advance.


----------



## Swede

Do you feel that the 'boy bike design' really makes sense? Wouldn't it be more logical for a man to ride a 'girl bike design'? I am talking about the 'bar' - ouch! (Oh, and btw, it hurts like heck for a woman to crash not the bar too.)

I read somewhere that the deignes were picked based on strength (with bar) and based on practicality (no bar, to accommodate a skirt, cuz everyone knows how fun it is to get their skirt stuck in the pedals or the chain....). It seems a bit outdated, so I'm interested in comments.


----------



## wiarumas

unINFalliPle said:


> Men- Given that this has been your experience or see it hypothetically, do you ever tell a girl that you've had a few meaningless interactions with girls but never anything serious, until she came along? In saying this, do you actually mean it? Do you want to pursue a relationship with this girl whereas in the past it wasn't an interest with other girls or you didn't have an opportunity? Do you say this just to make the current girl feel special?
> 
> 2nd time a guy has said it to me. Do I attract casual guys who want to pursue something more seriously? Do I attract guys that like giving me the illusion that I'm different? Do I just scream relationship? Am I just falling for guys who are throwing me lies? Rofl.


Personally, I wouldn't say it unless it were true. Most likely depends on age. I'm sure plenty of younger men will say that because they haven't been pursuing real relationships at first. If youre at a certain age it might be common that guys are coming around to look for something of substance.


----------



## wiarumas

ThirdArcade said:


> @_wiarumas_ - I met a guy through my cousin last year. I am 27, he is 26. Long story short, we met up a few times after we met just as friends in a group. Anyway, last time we met (in March) things got hot and heavy - we started making out, feeling each other up. I told him within the first 20 minutes that it wouldn't go any further. He was respectful and we continued to kiss. He walked me to the train station and gave me a few soft kisses. Texted him, he texted me back (just a flirty message). Decided not to meet for a few weeks due to school work. Anyway, a mutual friend of ours (let's call him "M") suggested I just ask him to sleep with me no strings attached. I am a virgin btw. Anyway, I decided why the hell not - I texted him and offered and he called me, but I missed his call. So, I'll never know what he intended to say to me. After that we never made contact.I removed him from my Facebook and cellphone in hopes of not going to crazy. Last night, "M" confirmed once again confirmed that his friend liked me for my intelligence, but didn't want to take anything further because I was a virgin and that right now he wanted to look at the possibilities of where we could go, but I was pushing a bit much. "M" (and ENTP) offered to take my virginity if I really wanted too. He has already slept with 19 women and said that my v-card is going to scare guys away. He said that I may as well loose to him since neither of us having feelings towards each other and really in the longrun it will put less pressure on other guys I meet (since I will be sexually experienced). "M" said it is worse to loose one's virginity to someone that they love, only to have it ruin the relationship. I thought about taking him up on this offer. I feel like a total leper since his friend (who I believe is an INFJ) turned me down - which man turns down no-strings attached sex from a single, attractive, and whom he calls an intelligent woman? What's your thoughts?


Some people don't like virgins, others do, but id argue most people don't care either way. 

If you want to have sex with your friend, go for it. But he just wants to have sex with you. He is using the line that men don't like virgins as his selling point. If you are doing it just to improve your chances with the guys, I wouldn't bother because its mostly an exaggeration/lie to sleep with you. 

The fact that your a virgin did not scare that guy away. He just doesn't seem sexually interested, virgin or not. It happens. Some people just aren't as comfortable with sex and/or don't have high libido.


----------



## wiarumas

HouseOfFlux said:


> Will you let me spank you?


No.


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> Men, what do you think about consensual domestic discipline? Such as spanking, corner time, writing lines, etc.? Meaning one partner assumes a dominant role and is trusted and followed because of their loving, guiding, and protective leadership. I'm NOT talking about abuse, insecurity and control against another's will. This is a consensual dynamic that creates a bond and happiness in both parties. There is mutual trust and respect, and also the submissive partner has a voice and is included in decisions when it is necessary. Again, NOT talking about one-sided control and abuse.
> 
> Do you think you would enjoy a dynamic like this? If so, would you be a disciplinarian in a relationship like this, or would you prefer to be the one disciplined?
> 
> And I also wanted to mention, I'm not talking about a doormat of a woman...I'm talking about a strong woman whom you earned this respect/trust from.
> 
> You can be honest...I identify with many beliefs of feminism and the rights of women and think this is completely different than a man abusing a woman. So please don't be worried you'll be judged. I really would love honest answers. Thanks
> 
> Eta: Also, not talking about a dynamic based on religious beliefs because that IMO is getting into fear based roots and automatic oppression based on gender roles. For the sake of clarity, let's keep religion out of it. Thanks.


So, this isn't about parenting but disciplining your SO as if they were a child?

And to clarify, this is a regular, routine, lifestyle thing? Not just some occasional fantasy/sexual thing?

I wouldn't last in a relationship like that. It's too one sided. I need stimulation from my partner. If I am treating her like a child, I would eventually get bored and need something more fulfilling. I have no problem being a bit of a dominant, outspoken person, but it's typically in the name of knowledge or improvement - I think I'm being helpful - not because I like discipline itself. The methods suggested in my mind aren't effective on adults. It's more about displaying role, authority to children than education. To stop a behavior. To an adult, I'm not sure what the goal of it would be? To prove dominance? No thanks. Not important to me, and I have better methods of asserting my position if needed (with logic, the power of words). 

I could "play" that scenario time to time for sexual reasons if they wanted though. I have no interest, but wouldn't mind playing along. I would prefer the dominant role, but would be okay with either depending on the frequency of it.


----------



## wiarumas

Curiously said:


> Questions for a man:
> 
> How often do you get blue balls? Can you describe the feeling? I sympathize with your pain, so this is why I ask. Thanks in advance.


It depends on frequency of orgasm. 

Blue balls is the pressure built up during arousal and then never having any release. The pressure remains and slowly dissipates which is not comfortable and can be painful depending on how much pressure was built up. 

If I had sex the night before, the next night I make out with no orgasm, no blue balls really. I guess since I recently had sex, the state of arousal does not build up the same amount of pressure needed to cause any real pain. 

If I had sex a week prior, make out with no orgasm, there is some discomfort and frustration. Everything in my body is ready to go - there is no off switch. The gun was cocked and loaded. Still, no real pain, but discomfort. 

2 weeks or more, it may feel like cramps. It is nowhere near the magnitude of menstrual cramps through and I feel as if many guys exaggerate it for sympathy. It hurts a bit, but in most cases it's tolerable - it would just be nice to have the satisfaction of release because it is not pleasant.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

wiarumas said:


> So, this isn't about parenting but disciplining your SO as if they were a child?
> 
> 
> And to clarify, this is a regular, routine, lifestyle thing? Not just some occasional fantasy/sexual thing?
> 
> 
> I wouldn't last in a relationship like that. It's too one sided. I need stimulation from my partner. If I am treating her like a child, I would eventually get bored and need something more fulfilling. I have no problem being a bit of a dominant, outspoken person, but it's typically in the name of knowledge or improvement - I think I'm being helpful - not because I like discipline itself. The methods suggested in my mind aren't effective on adults. It's more about displaying role, authority to children than education. To stop a behavior. To an adult, I'm not sure what the goal of it would be? To prove dominance? No thanks. Not important to me, and I have better methods of asserting my position if needed (with logic, the power of words).
> 
> 
> I could "play" that scenario time to time for sexual reasons if they wanted though. I have no interest, but wouldn't mind playing along. I would prefer the dominant role, but would be okay with either depending on the frequency of it.



It is a lifestyle, but it is not one-sided at all. It's also not about dominance for the sake of dominance or one person forcing dominance over the other. It is a giving of mutual trust on both ends and one allowing the other to call the shots for the best interest of the couple and for each person equally out of trust that the partner will always lead them well and will respect the submissive's input. The submissive always has a voice, is respected, and is never forced to do something against their will. It is hard to explain and hard to articulate without it being understood in the treating like a child aspect. 


The discipline examples I gave are actually very effective (some more than others) if the submissive partner takes the dominant partner seriously and wants the dynamic. The submissive partner is not controlled like a robot...she is encouraged to be who she is, but expected to uphold her end of responsibilities. The discipline also really works well when the submissive partner is naturally child-like in spirit  


There are people who live this way and it is very one-sided and based on control, insecurity, and fear, that is much different than a healthy dynamic like this. In a healthy dynamic, this is the furthest from what it is. 


You said you like to assert your dominance through logic and power with words, there is plenty of that in dynamics like what I described. So I take it if you were interested in a dynamic like I described, you would certainly not be the one getting disciplined? If you had to choose a position in a dynamic like that, which would it be?


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> It is a lifestyle, but it is not one-sided at all. It's also not about dominance for the sake of dominance or one person forcing dominance over the other. It is a giving of mutual trust on both ends and one allowing the other to call the shots for the best interest of the couple and for each person equally out of trust that the partner will always lead them well and will respect the submissive's input. The submissive always has a voice, is respected, and is never forced to do something against their will. It is hard to explain and hard to articulate without it being understood in the treating like a child aspect.
> 
> 
> The discipline examples I gave are actually very effective (some more than others) if the submissive partner takes the dominant partner seriously and wants the dynamic. The submissive partner is not controlled like a robot...she is encouraged to be who she is, but expected to uphold her end of responsibilities. The discipline also really works well when the submissive partner is naturally child-like in spirit
> 
> 
> There are people who live this way and it is very one-sided and based on control, insecurity, and fear, that is much different than a healthy dynamic like this. In a healthy dynamic, this is the furthest from what it is.
> 
> 
> You said you like to assert your dominance through logic and power with words, there is plenty of that in dynamics like what I described. So I take it if you were interested in a dynamic like I described, you would certainly not be the one getting disciplined? If you had to choose a position in a dynamic like that, which would it be?


I would want to the dominant one, yes. 

The scenario is really elaborate and complex. I can't really give an opinion on it because I'm not good at managing complex personal relationships. I'm just kinda there to participate and it is what it is. If it works, it works. But it wouldn't be my ideal scenario I think. 

I expect conflict in my relationships. Not fighting, I mean the exchange of ideas and disagreement from time to time. Best ideas are not dictated - they are fought for. No matter how good the one person is at leading, they aren't right 100% of the time. They need someone to pushback and make them second guess themselves or to trial their own thoughts, beliefs, and actions against the gauntlet of others in order to make sure it survives scrutiny; to really think about what is best, right, etc. I guess that is what I meant by one sided. I need to have a person contribute by asserting their difference.

Now maybe this dynamic has that and I'm still misunderstanding. I'm not sure. I guess I'm not seeing the point of the discipline? I can understand it from a sexual standpoint, but the whole trust thing? I guess I achieve it through action and results, not forced. It's achieved.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

wiarumas said:


> I would want to the dominant one, yes. The scenario is really elaborate and complex. I can't really give an opinion on it because I'm not good at managing complex personal relationships. I'm just kinda there to participate and it is what it is. If it works, it works. But it wouldn't be my ideal scenario I think. I expect conflict in my relationships. Not fighting, I mean the exchange of ideas and disagreement from time to time. Best ideas are not dictated - they are fought for. No matter how good the one person is at leading, they aren't right 100% of the time. They need someone to pushback and make them second guess themselves or to trial their own thoughts, beliefs, and actions against the gauntlet of others in order to make sure it survives scrutiny; to really think about what is best, right, etc. I guess that is what I meant by one sided. I need to have a person contribute by asserting their difference.Now maybe this dynamic has that and I'm still misunderstanding. I'm not sure. I guess I'm not seeing the point of the discipline? I can understand it from a sexual standpoint, but the whole trust thing? I guess I achieve it through action and results, not forced. It's achieved.


Well, I'm sure some people don't push back or disagree, but in the dynamic I'm outlining, yes there is plenty of push back and voicing of disagreement, respectfully. I would say the point of the discipline would be for someone who isn't inherently self disciplined when it comes to doing things they don't want to be doing. Like me, I certainly would benefit from it (only from a very trusted and respected individual) because I'm not one to do the mundane day after day. I actually think it might even be a thrill...to know if the responsibilities aren't met, there will be consequences. The point of the discipline is to make the person the best version of themselves they can be, to help keep them from bad habits. It's probably not for everyone, but I do admit that I'm attracted to it and interested in it.Obviously, people take these things to extremes sometimes, and I'm not talking about that kind of thing.


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> Well, I'm sure some people don't push back or disagree, but in the dynamic I'm outlining, yes there is plenty of push back and voicing of disagreement, respectfully. I would say the point of the discipline would be for someone who isn't inherently self disciplined when it comes to doing things they don't want to be doing. Like me, I certainly would benefit from it (only from a very trusted and respected individual) because I'm not one to do the mundane day after day. I actually think it might even be a thrill...to know if the responsibilities aren't met, there will be consequences. The point of the discipline is to make the person the best version of themselves they can be, to help keep them from bad habits. It's probably not for everyone, but I do admit that I'm attracted to it and interested in it.Obviously, people take these things to extremes sometimes, and I'm not talking about that kind of thing.


You mention thrill of consequence. Can you explain? Is this really for establishing good habits or is thrill of punishment, loss of control, submissive acts for sexual gratification the main objective here? It's starting to sound a lot less anything other than one big sex game, which I would be okay with. The charade it hides behind is what I don't particularly agree with.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

wiarumas said:


> You mention thrill of consequence. Can you explain? Is this really for establishing good habits or is thrill of punishment, loss of control, submissive acts for sexual gratification the main objective here? It's starting to sound a lot less anything other than one big sex game, which I would be okay with. The charade it hides behind is what I don't particularly agree with.


It's not a giant sex game, but there is plenty of sexuality involved in it. IMO, it's tapping into primal roots. The thrill I would personally get from consequence would come from being "put in my place" so to speak, by the dominant male I prefer...by being dominated in general by someone I WANT to be dominated by. I see dominance used in this aspect as a place of protection and strength, not control and abuse. "My place" does not mean below man, less than, not as valuable, but from a stance of recognizing personalized primal roles within specific people and relationships. Not all people of specific genders fit under one category, so I am simply speaking for myself. 

I guess for me, it is important that a man establishes that he is "a man"...this is touchy and subjective. My personal ideals of a "man" is a combination of animal instincts, love/tenderness, intellect, leadership, emotional intelligence, acceptance, yet will put me in check when I've crossed a line. Maybe some people need more harsh consequences than others? I know I'm stubborn as hell so...makes sense I would be attracted to this, haha! 

I hope that makes sense!


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## 7rr7s

@Enfpleasantly Have you ever heard of Taken In Hand? It sounds a lot like what you are describing. It's a lifestyle, although pretty edgy and controversial especially amongst feminists.


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## Enfpleasantly

KindOfBlue06 said:


> @_Enfpleasantly_ Have you ever heard of Taken In Hand? It sounds a lot like what you are describing. It's a lifestyle, although pretty edgy and controversial especially amongst feminists.


I have, but I don't care for the labels of that dynamic because it makes me think of religious oppression of women and glorification of men as Head of Household...that's just how I personally feel about the labels. If I were to be completely honest, I'm sort of drawn to the "Daddy Dom/ Babygirl" dynamic, but I want to be clear I am NOT talking about ageplay or incest play AT ALL. I mean simply a loving, guiding, nurturing, yet firm dominant, and a free spirited, cherished, protected, playful "babygirl". I would die if he called me babygirl though, lol! 

There are many dynamics in BDSM, which I'm positive you know, so I'll go through them just to give my personal opinions of them in regard to MYSELF:

**Master/Slave* no way in hell as a lifestyle, maybe for play from time to time?
**Dom/sub* depends
**HOH/TIH *eh, seems sexist to me for some reason, I think because there are a lot of Christians drawn to it, in which the man is ALWAYS the HOH. I believe this kind of thing should be person to person based, not gender based. 
**Master/Pet *hell no
**Daddy Dom/babygirl *minus ageplay, incest play, and any other extremes, I'm naturally kind of that way in my dynamic anyway, so I'm interested in it. I like to be taken care of, yet I like to establish that I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself too. I like to be cherished, trusted, have opinions, have sass and wit, respected, etc., which makes me more of a "babygirl" type than a slave. 

It all kind of goes against my natural comfort zone, yet I'm drawn to it. I don't let anyone control me willingly, although I can't help it when a person (not my Husband) exercises petty acts of authority over me, but I don't see that as dominance though, so it doesn't matter. The whole thing is very interesting to me and I'm exploring it for sure.


----------



## 7rr7s

Enfpleasantly said:


> I have, but I don't care for the labels of that dynamic because it makes me think of religious oppression of women and glorification of men as Head of Household...that's just how I personally feel about the labels. If I were to be completely honest, I'm sort of drawn to the "Daddy Dom/ Babygirl" dynamic, but I want to be clear I am NOT talking about ageplay or incest play AT ALL. I mean simply a loving, guiding, nurturing, yet firm dominant, and a free spirited, cherished, protected, playful "babygirl". I would die if he called me babygirl though, lol!
> 
> There are many dynamics in BDSM, which I'm positive you know, so I'll go through them just to give my personal opinions of them in regard to MYSELF:
> 
> **Master/Slave* no way in hell as a lifestyle, maybe for play from time to time?
> **Dom/sub* depends
> **HOH/TIH *eh, seems sexist to me for some reason, I think because there are a lot of Christians drawn to it, in which the man is ALWAYS the HOH. I believe this kind of thing should be person to person based, not gender based.
> **Master/Pet *hell no
> **Daddy Dom/babygirl *minus ageplay, incest play, and any other extremes, I'm naturally kind of that way in my dynamic anyway, so I'm interested in it. I like to be taken care of, yet I like to establish that I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself too. I like to be cherished, trusted, have opinions, have sass and wit, respected, etc., which makes me more of a "babygirl" type than a slave.
> 
> It all kind of goes against my natural comfort zone, yet I'm drawn to it. I don't let anyone control me willingly, although I can't help it when a person (not my Husband) exercises petty acts of authority over me, but I don't see that as dominance though, so it doesn't matter. The whole thing is very interesting to me and I'm exploring it for sure.


Yeah there's a wide spectrum to the whole D/s lifestyle. It just depends on what each person is comfortable with, and it's definitiely not for everyone. I'm surprised that many Christians are drawn to HoH and TiH though. Interesting loll. I agree though, it's more than just a sex game, and you described it pretty well.


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## Dragearen

denasmee said:


> What is the hardest thing about being a guy?


I would say, for me personally, the social expectations. In American culture, I have to disguise so many aspects of myself because they don't fit the norm, and I know from experience what happens if I show them carelessly. Everyone wears a mask, just some masks hide more of the face than others. :ninja:



Jojo17 said:


> Straight girls easily admit that another woman is beautiful, hot, attractive, etc. So why do straight men act like they don't have the ability to see attractiveness in other men? I get that men may fear being labeled as gay or sensitive or whatever, but is that the sole reason for this? Are you able to spot an attractive man/appreciate his looks?


Yes, I can do this. Sometimes I will compare myself with him, especially if he gets much more attention than I do, but I can still appreciate his looks.



Swede said:


> Is it true that men can think about "nothing"? As a woman, I can't even imagine being able to do that. i am a bit envious; it sounds very relaxing. If it's true, how does it work? Is it like flipping a switch, or more like a power down, or is "nothing" the normal state and thinking is more conscious?


I really don't think this is tied to just men at all. Thinking about nothing is more of a skill you have to develop. I can zone out very easily, and do so often, and I can also think about my environment in great detail, which is relaxing, but I can sometimes find it very hard to think about nothing.


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## VioletIris

A question:
If you had the chance to have sex with a woman who looked as good as Salma Hayek, Julianne Moore, Monica Belluci, or (fill in your favorite older woman here), or any average/cute 20 something, who would you choose? Just for a one time sex thing.

I ask because I call BS on all the men who say once you are over 40 or so, you've "hit the wall." I'd love to put a cam on those guys and have a woman who looks like Ms. Belluci approach and proposition them.

I am well over 40 and fully believe I am still attractive to my husband (who is the same age as me), and I still get attention and approached by other men even though I wear my wedding band. So my personal motive for asking is to confirm that the men who say this stuff (seems to be MRA or PUA trolls a lot of the time) are either a minority or just trying to get a rise out of us middle aged women. (They also seem to assume we are all overweight and collect shoes and cats, none of which is true in my case.)


----------



## carlaviii

VioletIris said:


> A question:
> If you had the chance to have sex with a woman who looked as good as Salma Hayek, Julianne Moore, Monica Belluci, or (fill in your favorite older woman here), or any average/cute 20 something, who would you choose? Just for a one time sex thing.
> 
> I ask because I call BS on all the men who say once you are over 40 or so, you've "hit the wall." I'd love to put a cam on those guys and have a woman who looks like Ms. Belluci approach and proposition them.
> 
> I am well over 40 and fully believe I am still attractive to my husband (who is the same age as me), and I still get attention and approached by other men even though I wear my wedding band. So my personal motive for asking is to confirm that the men who say this stuff (seems to be MRA or PUA trolls a lot of the time) are either a minority or just trying to get a rise out of us middle aged women. (They also seem to assume we are all overweight and collect shoes and cats, none of which is true in my case.)


...you do know that cougars are real, yes? We over-40s are attractive to not only men our age, but younger guys too. (high five?)


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## phony

Have you ever had sex with a virgin? What was it like? Was it a bad sexual experience for either of you?


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## William I am

Enfpleasantly said:


> Men, what do you think about consensual domestic discipline? Such as spanking, corner time, writing lines, etc.? Meaning one partner assumes a dominant role and is trusted and followed because of their loving, guiding, and protective leadership. I'm NOT talking about abuse, insecurity and control against another's will. This is a consensual dynamic that creates a bond and happiness in both parties. There is mutual trust and respect, and also the submissive partner has a voice and is included in decisions when it is necessary. Again, NOT talking about one-sided control and abuse.
> 
> Do you think you would enjoy a dynamic like this? If so, would you be a disciplinarian in a relationship like this, or would you prefer to be the one disciplined?
> 
> And I also wanted to mention, I'm not talking about a doormat of a woman...I'm talking about a strong woman whom you earned this respect/trust from.
> 
> You can be honest...I identify with many beliefs of feminism and the rights of women and think this is completely different than a man abusing a woman. So please don't be worried you'll be judged. I really would love honest answers. Thanks
> 
> Eta: Also, not talking about a dynamic based on religious beliefs because that IMO is getting into fear based roots and automatic oppression based on gender roles. For the sake of clarity, let's keep religion out of it. Thanks.


I honestly can't think of anything more unappealing. It's sort of nauseating. I read up a little bit on the "taken in hand" dynamic and it made me somewhat physically ill. 
I value independence and mutual respect in a relationship, and the idea of either partner having some sort of innate authority over the other person grates on my most basic tenets of what it means to be a self-actualized person. I've had conflicts with people before who acted like this because I find it so distasteful. The last thing I want is to be dating someone I have to supervise or treat as a child. 



Curiously said:


> Questions for a man:
> 
> How often do you get blue balls? Can you describe the feeling? I sympathize with your pain, so this is why I ask. Thanks in advance.


As often as I stay aroused for more than an hour while in the presence of a partner without ejaculating. It feels about as bad as being kicked in the nuts. Sort of an aching in both the testicles and a cramping that moves up to a point just below the belly button. It doesn't always resolve with ejaculation for me, and sometimes it takes two orgasms to even ease it up at all. 



Swede said:


> Do you feel that the 'boy bike design' really makes sense? Wouldn't it be more logical for a man to ride a 'girl bike design'? I am talking about the 'bar' - ouch! (Oh, and btw, it hurts like heck for a woman to crash not the bar too.)
> 
> I read somewhere that the deignes were picked based on strength (with bar) and based on practicality (no bar, to accommodate a skirt, cuz everyone knows how fun it is to get their skirt stuck in the pedals or the chain....). It seems a bit outdated, so I'm interested in comments.


I think the boy-bike (full triangle) design makes a lot of sense when you're using something flexible like steel. The use of aluminum has made the top-bar design largely unnecessary because it is so much more rigid and won't flex while you ride it. In fact, modern men's mountain bikes now do not have a top tube because they're made out of the much more rigid aluminum.
Up until a few years ago, I rode a women's bike because I already had it and didn't ride much. I could feel it flex while I rode it and especially when I rode hard. I have one with a top bar now that is much more stable and so much better (it's also the right size for me). 
I've read that the original design of the "step through" design was so women could ride without being "indecent". There's a design called a mixte that's much more rigid than the step-through design but that still doesn't have the top bar. Mixtes were more common in the 70's and 80's, but I don't think any are even made these days. 



phony said:


> Have you ever had sex with a virgin? What was it like? Was it a bad sexual experience for either of you?


Twice with a virgin, once with a girl who had slept with only one guy before me a few times. It was never really bad because they were virgins, but I had a hell of a time trying to penetrate the one girl who had an intact hymen. My first time was also my first girlfriend's first time, and it wasn't that good but that was because we both were pretty inexperienced.


----------



## phony

William I am said:


> Twice with a virgin, once with a girl who had slept with only one guy before me a few times. It was never really bad because they were virgins, *but I had a hell of a time trying to penetrate the one girl who had an intact hymen.* My first time was also my first girlfriend's first time, and it wasn't that good but that was because we both were pretty inexperienced.


Was that really an issue? Sorry if this is invasive.


----------



## William I am

phony said:


> Was that really an issue? Sorry if this is invasive.


 Yes. I was trying to be gentle, but it's kind of a violent thing (you know, tearing flesh) and I wasn't super excited about it. It took about 3 or 4 or 5 entirely different sessions of trying before I could actually penetrate her. She even suggested having a doctor cut it because she'd asked the doctor about it. Part of it was that she was being, and I'll probably catch flack for this, a big wuss about it and kept saying "ow, stop". What finally worked was getting her to agree to think of it like a bandaid - better to do it fast and have it hurt for a minute than to draw it out like we had been doing because trying to be gentle was painful but wasn't changing anything.
I think it was a bit unusual to have that much trouble, and sort of remember something about her hymen being thicker than average, but I may be misremembering that.

It was a long distance thing, and because we didn't see each other except maybe on the weekends, we spent most of our potential sexy times trying to break her hymen. The only time we had sex was right before or after we broke up in the bathroom of her dad's house. She lived there with him, was 27, and was a virgin. Rather an odd duck.


----------



## Master Mind

Swede said:


> Do you feel that the 'boy bike design' really makes sense? Wouldn't it be more logical for a man to ride a 'girl bike design'? I am talking about the 'bar' - ouch! (Oh, and btw, it hurts like heck for a woman to crash not the bar too.)
> 
> I read somewhere that the deignes were picked based on strength (with bar) and based on practicality (no bar, to accommodate a skirt, cuz everyone knows how fun it is to get their skirt stuck in the pedals or the chain....). It seems a bit outdated, so I'm interested in comments.


I bicycle for exercise, and I can't say that the fact that there's a bar has ever been relevant at all for me while bicycling.


----------



## Master Mind

Enfpleasantly said:


> Men, what do you think about consensual domestic discipline? Such as spanking, corner time, writing lines, etc.? Meaning one partner assumes a dominant role and is trusted and followed because of their loving, guiding, and protective leadership. I'm NOT talking about abuse, insecurity and control against another's will. This is a consensual dynamic that creates a bond and happiness in both parties. There is mutual trust and respect, and also the submissive partner has a voice and is included in decisions when it is necessary. Again, NOT talking about one-sided control and abuse.


I've actually been researching BDSM and D/s and exploring some of my thoughts on a blog as I've learned more about it and flesh out which aspects are appealing and which are not.



Enfpleasantly said:


> Do you think you would enjoy a dynamic like this?


Hmm... perhaps. I would be open-minded to exploring it and giving it a try if it's something she's interested in. Though it's not something I would ever see happening in actuality, as none of the women I've been with were interested in such a thing. It will likely remain merely a subject of research, as human behavior interests me, and I've been intrigued by power exchange upon discovering it. People who know me would find it surprising as it is that it's a subject of interest in the first place. But since I'm a psychology major, I have an excuse.



Enfpleasantly said:


> If so, would you be a disciplinarian in a relationship like this, or would you prefer to be the one disciplined?


I couldn't be the one being disciplined. When I was a child, from observing my sister and the consequences of her actions, I simply didn't do anything that would warrant being disciplined. I was a consequentialist in that respect.



Enfpleasantly said:


> And I also wanted to mention, I'm not talking about a doormat of a woman...I'm talking about a strong woman whom you earned this respect/trust from.


Doormats do not interest me, and I would have no use for a woman who is one. I do believe that the type of woman you're interested in says something about you, and if I _did_ want a doormat, that would reveal something about me.



Enfpleasantly said:


> You can be honest...I identify with many beliefs of feminism and the rights of women and think this is completely different than a man abusing a woman.


In my research, I have found that many feminist women are involved in D/s relationships, with no contradiction between feminism and being a submissive. (Putting aside for the moment the fact that there are female Dommes) They've exercised their right to choose to be submissive to a man they've found to be (trust)worthy of giving that gift to (as it isn't something you just give to anyone, as there are unscrupulous individuals who would seen to take advantage of it). I've also come across Dominants who firmly support equal rights for women—though I've found that there are also "wanna-be Doms" masquerading in Dom's clothing, which makes it imperative that submissive women be careful and ensure the worthiness of a potential Dom before submitting to anyone. And abuse is never acceptable.



Enfpleasantly said:


> So please don't be worried you'll be judged.


I don't particular worry about that, as I'm judged on a regular basis as it is, if not here or other forums, then offline. I'm used to it.



Enfpleasantly said:


> I really would love honest answers. Thanks
> 
> Eta: Also, not talking about a dynamic based on religious beliefs because that IMO is getting into fear based roots and automatic oppression based on gender roles. For the sake of clarity, let's keep religion out of it. Thanks.


That's completely different anyway.


----------



## Master Mind

Enfpleasantly said:


> I have, but I don't care for the labels of that dynamic because it makes me think of religious oppression of women and glorification of men as Head of Household...that's just how I personally feel about the labels.


I've come across Taken in Hand during my research, and frankly, since Christianity has been manipulated by people with agendas to serve as divine legitimation for the subordination of women (among others), I just see ToH as another outlet for it. 



Enfpleasantly said:


> If I were to be completely honest, I'm sort of drawn to the "Daddy Dom/ Babygirl" dynamic, but I want to be clear I am NOT talking about ageplay or incest play AT ALL. I mean simply a loving, guiding, nurturing, yet firm dominant, and a free spirited, cherished, protected, playful "babygirl". I would die if he called me babygirl though, lol!
> 
> There are many dynamics in BDSM, which I'm positive you know, so I'll go through them just to give my personal opinions of them in regard to MYSELF:
> 
> **Master/Slave* no way in hell as a lifestyle, maybe for play from time to time?


Speaking for myself, I'm a bit uncomfortable at the idea of a human being being another's "slave," particularly considering the unfortunate history of the institution of slavery in this country. I've found Dominants who share the same feelings that I do, not that whether anyone agrees with me or not has anything to do (whether justifying or invalidating) with how I feel about it. To each his or her own, but for me, no.



Enfpleasantly said:


> **Dom/sub* depends
> **HOH/TIH *eh, seems sexist to me for some reason, I think because there are a lot of Christians drawn to it, in which the man is ALWAYS the HOH. I believe this kind of thing should be person to person based, not gender based.


A lot of Christians being drawn to it doesn't surprise me. My father was one of those "I'm the Head of the Household and thou shalt obey me or you're of the devil" people, but his and my mother's marriage wasn't a Taken in Hand relationship, but it could have fit, and could seemlessly fit in a lot of others as well (I'm not saying every Christian marriage is like this, but it can't be denied that there are some like this that exist, and I personally bore witness to one).



Enfpleasantly said:


> **Master/Pet *hell no


I've seen animal play associated with this, though it isn't necessary, and can be completely separate. As I was thinking about it, I haven't really found names for the Dom/sub relationship I would like. I don't care for calling a human being a "pet." I've seen one Dom call his sub his "muse." I don't know, I may have to ask some Doms and subs about it and see if there are any more possibilities.



Enfpleasantly said:


> **Daddy Dom/babygirl *minus ageplay, incest play, and any other extremes, I'm naturally kind of that way in my dynamic anyway, so I'm interested in it. I like to be taken care of, yet I like to establish that I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself too. I like to be cherished, trusted, have opinions, have sass and wit, respected, etc., which makes me more of a "babygirl" type than a slave.


I'm not sure yet about the whole DD/bg dynamic. To each his or her own, but speaking solely for myself, I don't care for the whole ageplay thing, as to me it's infantilization. I'm interested in grown women, not little girls. I wasn't interested in little girls when I was a little boy, let alone now as a grown man. I also told one woman I was with at the time not to call me "Daddy" in bed. I know some guys like it, but that was just creepy to me; when I'm sexual with a woman, any talk of "Daddy" kind of kills it for me.



Enfpleasantly said:


> It all kind of goes against my natural comfort zone, yet I'm drawn to it. I don't let anyone control me willingly, although I can't help it when a person (not my Husband) exercises petty acts of authority over me, but I don't see that as dominance though, so it doesn't matter. The whole thing is very interesting to me and I'm exploring it for sure.


I've found it interesting and continue to explore it as well.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

William I am said:


> I honestly can't think of anything more unappealing. It's sort of nauseating. I read up a little bit on the "taken in hand" dynamic and it made me somewhat physically ill.
> I value independence and mutual respect in a relationship, and the idea of either partner having some sort of innate authority over the other person grates on my most basic tenets of what it means to be a self-actualized person. I've had conflicts with people before who acted like this because I find it so distasteful. The last thing I want is to be dating someone I have to supervise or treat as a child.


When it comes to relationships where one person is enforcing an authority position over another against their will, out of fear, insecurity, or other unhealthy reasons/ habits, then I agree with you 100%. The dynamic I'm describing is not the same. 

If I were to use myself as an example, I can tell you that I am a very strong woman and would never let anyone treat me in a way I didn't approve of. I don't have any self-worth issues that makes me feel as though I have to be "below" another person...quite the contrary actually; it is a gift from me to one worthy person. 

If he treated me in a way that made me unhappy, I would tell him, and he would either have to compromise with me, change his ways, or he would be without me (if bad enough to be a deal breaker); I expect the same from him...so it's not one-sided at all. The dynamic I'm talking about is a consensual and welcomed power exchange. A lot of times this sort of thing is even initiated by a sub when she/he decides they want to give themself to another in a very deep way. It's hard to see it as anything other than unhealthy, I know, but there really is much to it that is very healthy. 



Master Mind said:


> I've actually been researching BDSM and D/s and exploring some of my thoughts on a blog as I've learned more about it and flesh out which aspects are appealing and which are not.


Me too, and I'm learning a lot from good ole fashioned trial and error as I go about it. 





> Hmm... perhaps. I would be open-minded to exploring it and giving it a try if it's something she's interested in. Though it's not something I would ever see happening in actuality, as none of the women I've been with were interested in such a thing. It will likely remain merely a subject of research, as human behavior interests me, and I've been intrigued by power exchange upon discovering it. People who know me would find it surprising as it is that it's a subject of interest in the first place. But since I'm a psychology major, I have an excuse.


I recently read several articles that stated a study was done that suggests people who explore BDSM are more mentally healthy than vanilla people. The BDSM people were more comfortable in their sexuality, more aware of their likes and dislikes, more open-minded, etc. I thought that was interesting. 

Here's one source: http://www.livescience.com/34832-bdsm-healthy-psychology.html




> I couldn't be the one being disciplined. When I was a child, from observing my sister and the consequences of her actions, I simply didn't do anything that would warrant being disciplined. I was a consequentialist in that respect.
> 
> 
> Doormats do not interest me, and I would have no use for a woman who is one. I do believe that the type of woman you're interested in says something about you, and if I _did_ want a doormat, that would reveal something about me.


I took tests to see which I am (Dom or sub) and I consistently test as switch or in the middle. The idea of being extremely submissive or extremely dominant is foreign to me as an individual. 

IMO, doormat women (or men) are not healthy and cannot be in a healthy relationship because of the dysfunction involved in being the doormat type. Knowing that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity and not tolerating any less is one of the many keys to a healthy relationship..."loving yourself" as people refer to it. That's the part that seems to be difficult for people to understand in the D/s dynamic...like how can it be healthy if one person is allowing another to punish them? It's just different from dysfunction on so many levels. 




> In my research, I have found that many feminist women are involved in D/s relationships, with no contradiction between feminism and being a submissive. (Putting aside for the moment the fact that there are female Dommes) They've exercised their right to choose to be submissive to a man they've found to be (trust)worthy of giving that gift to (as it isn't something you just give to anyone, as there are unscrupulous individuals who would seen to take advantage of it). I've also come across Dominants who firmly support equal rights for women—though I've found that there are also "wanna-be Doms" masquerading in Dom's clothing, which makes it imperative that submissive women be careful and ensure the worthiness of a potential Dom before submitting to anyone. And abuse is never acceptable.


Yes, I am SO against oppression of any kind, which was a little confusing for me in the beginning and I did struggle with it for a bit because I felt like a traitor to women. I quickly realized, I am no traitor at all; if anything, I am doing exactly what I should do as a strong woman, and that is, embrace MYSELF in MY specific brand of womanhood which includes femininity, some domestic tendencies, mothering, loving, and desiring a strong male presence in my life. If that makes me less of a woman, then so be it, but I don't see it that way at all; I see myself like this...









"Women Who Run with ‘The Wolves’: A healthy woman is much like a wolf, strong life force, life-giving, territorily aware, intuitive and loyal. Yet seperation from her wildish nature causes a woman to become meager, anxious, and fearful. The wild nature carries the medicine for all things. She carries stories, dreams, words and songs. She carries everything a woman needs to be and know. She is the essence of the female soul… With the wild nature as ally and teacher, we see not through two eyes only, but through the many eyes of intuition. With intuition we are like the starry night, we gaze at the world through a thousand eyes."-Clarissa Pinkola Estes 




> I don't particular worry about that, as I'm judged on a regular basis as it is, if not here or other forums, then offline. I'm used to it.


As long as there are judgmental people in the world, there will be people being judged 



> That's completely different anyway.


I agree. 



Master Mind said:


> I've come across Taken in Hand during my research, and frankly, since Christianity has been manipulated by people with agendas to serve as divine legitimation for the subordination of women (among others), I just see ToH as another outlet for it.
> 
> Speaking for myself, I'm a bit uncomfortable at the idea of a human being being another's "slave," particularly considering the unfortunate history of the institution of slavery in this country. I've found Dominants who share the same feelings that I do, not that whether anyone agrees with me or not has anything to do (whether justifying or invalidating) with how I feel about it. To each his or her own, but for me, no.
> 
> A lot of Christians being drawn to it doesn't surprise me. My father was one of those "I'm the Head of the Household and thou shalt obey me or you're of the devil" people, but his and my mother's marriage wasn't a Taken in Hand relationship, but it could have fit, and could seemlessly fit in a lot of others as well (I'm not saying every Christian marriage is like this, but it can't be denied that there are some like this that exist, and I personally bore witness to one).
> 
> I've seen animal play associated with this, though it isn't necessary, and can be completely separate. As I was thinking about it, I haven't really found names for the Dom/sub relationship I would like. I don't care for calling a human being a "pet." I've seen one Dom call his sub his "muse." I don't know, I may have to ask some Doms and subs about it and see if there are any more possibilities.
> 
> I'm not sure yet about the whole DD/bg dynamic. To each his or her own, but speaking solely for myself, I don't care for the whole ageplay thing, as to me it's infantilization. I'm interested in grown women, not little girls. I wasn't interested in little girls when I was a little boy, let alone now as a grown man. I also told one woman I was with at the time not to call me "Daddy" in bed. I know some guys like it, but that was just creepy to me; when I'm sexual with a woman, any talk of "Daddy" kind of kills it for me.
> 
> I've found it interesting and continue to explore it as well.


I pretty much agree, except I'm able to welcome the Dd/bg thing a bit because I don't age-play at all. I am naturally playful and child-like in spirit, but I am definitely all woman at the same time. I think if I lost my child-like spirit, I would also lose my creativity...or at least, my particular kind of creativity. 

The Daddy thing is a little odd, for sure, but I was able to get over that to try it out. The way I see it is, this is not about my Dad at all, and my Dad is not "Daddy" in my mind. Although the weirdness did tone down, it is still not exactly right for me. I, like you, have yet to really find the exact fit for me. If it were up to me, I would call my style of BDSM Anchor/Wings. The more I explore, the more I learn, and even since I wrote my posts in this thread on the topic, things have already evolved and changed. I already knew I am extremely stubborn, but I also learned that the dynamic I need is more down to business than dd/bg. Right now, Dom/sub is more of the path...we shall see. 

*Question:

What actions from a woman really makes you feel like a man? I know that you might not NEED anything from a woman to make you feel like a man, so that is not what I'm asking; I am simply asking if there is something particular that a woman has done that really made you feel like a man.

*


----------



## William I am

@Enfpleasantly: I understand that it's voluntary. I still have the same feeling - it's not for me. Did you want me to answer your initial question or to argue with you?


----------



## William I am

Enfpleasantly said:


> *Question:
> 
> What actions from a woman really makes you feel like a man? I know that you might not NEED anything from a woman to make you feel like a man, so that is not what I'm asking; I am simply asking if there is something particular that a woman has done that really made you feel like a man.
> *


I'll have to think about that for a while, but I'll try to give you an answer.


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## Enfpleasantly

William I am said:


> @_Enfpleasantly_: I understand that it's voluntary. I still have the same feeling - it's not for me. Did you want me to answer your initial question or to argue with you?


Argue? My intentions were not to argue. Your answer led me to believe that maybe you were misunderstanding the arrangement, so I wanted to further explain to remedy that; sorry for the confusion.


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## VioletIris

> A question:
> If you had the chance to have sex with a woman who looked as good as Salma Hayek, Julianne Moore, Monica Belluci, or (fill in your favorite older woman here), or any average/cute 20 something, who would you choose? Just for a one time sex thing.


Well, no man has answered yet.


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## Wellsy

VioletIris said:


> A question:
> If you had the chance to have sex with a woman who looked as good as Salma Hayek, Julianne Moore, Monica Belluci, or (fill in your favorite older woman here), or any average/cute 20 something, who would you choose? Just for a one time sex thing.
> 
> I ask because I call BS on all the men who say once you are over 40 or so, you've "hit the wall." I'd love to put a cam on those guys and have a woman who looks like Ms. Belluci approach and proposition them.
> 
> I am well over 40 and fully believe I am still attractive to my husband (who is the same age as me), and I still get attention and approached by other men even though I wear my wedding band. So my personal motive for asking is to confirm that the men who say this stuff (seems to be MRA or PUA trolls a lot of the time) are either a minority or just trying to get a rise out of us middle aged women. (They also seem to assume we are all overweight and collect shoes and cats, none of which is true in my case.)



Age isn't much of a deterrent to who physically attractive. There are woman who maintain physical health pretty well through out their entire lives. I think I once made a joke that I hope I look as good as Meryl Streep at her age because she still looks beautiful but is much older than she looks. For many they prefer older woman because they have, well the body of a woman. Some younger women are still girlish just as some men are still boyish. Then they're more likely to have a more stable and mature personality.
So yeah an older woman has the potential to be a hell of a lot of fun.
I'm not entirely sure why age is an issue for some people when things are just physical.


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## William I am

Enfpleasantly said:


> Argue? My intentions were not to argue. Your answer led me to believe that maybe you were misunderstanding the arrangement, so I wanted to further explain to remedy that; sorry for the confusion.


Ok. Sorry for assuming that then. I had been arguing with some other people and brought that expectation with me.


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## loving2011

To the OP-Let's say the woman you're with tells you that she is sexually attracted to both genders. She has explored with women in the past. But, she now only has eyes for you and is madly in love with you. Would you tell her "I can't date you, because I think you're going to leave me for another woman." Let's say this woman is also someone that you madly fell in love with and thought she was your perfect partner. Let's clarify that she's not a lesbian, but simply bisexual. 

An older 50 year old divorced man and another 40 year old divorced man said that most men would be reluctant to marry a woman that explored attraction to both genders. They say they feel they can't please her or have to compete with her. No offense, but that sounds like massive insecurity. 

Do you agree with these two men? If you're confident and secure that your partner has confessed undying loyalty to you (which I have in all of my relationships), why be reluctant to get involved with someone that loves you and you love him?


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## Wellsy

@loving2011

Sounds like a hang up about sexuality.
I don't think that's their real reason for saying men would be reluctant, I think they have a personal opinion that may be relevant to their generational upbringing. Because it does seem silly to add that and theres this concern that she's going to leave them for a woman. I would wonder do they still maintain the same concern for straight women running away with another man.
Too much weight is placed on that individuals sexuality than is needed. Perhaps they're misinformed and have odd understandings when bisexual or other things come to mind rather than seeing a person who just happens to also be excited by women physically as well as men. 

Though I have heard of some issues of people not liking bisexuals for odd reasons. There are some people I bet have the opinion that bisexuals are out to sleep with everyone. They totally ignore the reality of how attraction works and forget that people have minds of their own and usually aren't so weak willed that they fall to their libido all the time nor will they be attracted to large amounts of people necessarily or act on this attraction.
I don't think it'd bother me, I can imagine other men perhaps take too strong an interest and think they could then get their partner for some girl on girl things to fulfill their own fantasies. I personally can't think of a reason why a man would decline but if they're willing to well they're not a ideal person to be with if they can't accept something simple as that. Works out fine in that though it'll hurt initially, wasn't a good fit in the first place as they're dismissive of a very real aspect of their partner.


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## loving2011

Wellsy said:


> @_loving2011_
> 
> Sounds like a hang up about sexuality.
> I don't think that's their real reason for saying men would be reluctant, I think they have a personal opinion that may be relevant to their generational upbringing. Because it does seem silly to add that and theres this concern that she's going to leave them for a woman. I would wonder do they still maintain the same concern for straight women running away with another man.
> Too much weight is placed on that individuals sexuality than is needed. Perhaps they're misinformed and have odd understandings when bisexual or other things come to mind rather than seeing a person who just happens to also be excited by women physically as well as men.
> 
> Though I have heard of some issues of people not liking bisexuals for odd reasons. There are some people I bet have the opinion that bisexuals are out to sleep with everyone. They totally ignore the reality of how attraction works and forget that people have minds of their own and usually aren't so weak willed that they fall to their libido all the time nor will they be attracted to large amounts of people necessarily or act on this attraction.
> I don't think it'd bother me, I can imagine other men perhaps take too strong an interest and think they could then get their partner for some girl on girl things to fulfill their own fantasies. I personally can't think of a reason why a man would decline but if they're willing to well they're not a ideal person to be with if they can't accept something simple as that. Works out fine in that though it'll hurt initially, wasn't a good fit in the first place as they're dismissive of a very real aspect of their partner.



Yes, I did propose the idea of a straight woman leaving them for another man. Look at all of the straight people that cheat. Being with a straight person doesn't safe-proof your marriage. 

When you marry someone, you basically are smashing your impulse to have sex with other members of the opposite sex that you find attractive. If a man can control his impulse to not f*ck the hot secretary, I'm sure a woman is able to control her impulse to not f*ck the hot woman that she sees walking down the street. 

At the risk of sounding ageist, I wonder if age has something to do with it. I do find that younger people (in their 20's and early 30's) are more open-minded and familiar with bisexuals. Sure, you will have people that are ignorant. In general, I would say our generation is more accepting that it's natural for humans to explore.


----------



## JaySH

loving2011 said:


> To the OP-Let's say the woman you're with tells you that she is sexually attracted to both genders. She has explored with women in the past. But, she now only has eyes for you and is madly in love with you. Would you tell her "I can't date you, because I think you're going to leave me for another woman." Let's say this woman is also someone that you madly fell in love with and thought she was your perfect partner. Let's clarify that she's not a lesbian, but simply bisexual.
> 
> An older 50 year old divorced man and another 40 year old divorced man said that most men would be reluctant to marry a woman that explored attraction to both genders. They say they feel they can't please her or have to compete with her. No offense, but that sounds like massive insecurity.
> 
> Do you agree with these two men? If you're confident and secure that your partner has confessed undying loyalty to you (which I have in all of my relationships), why be reluctant to get involved with someone that loves you and you love him?


I will say, the 2 openly bisexual women I knew seemed to feel that fooling around with a female while in a committed relationship with a male was an exception to cheating. I'm certainly not implying this is the norm, but the mindset "i didnt cheat, she was another girl. Go fuck a guy if you want", for some does exist. 

Also, being with someone has it's risks. You know there is the chance a connection will form outside of your relationship. In a hetero relationship/non-hetero relationship that means you have to worry about interactions with half of the people he/she meets. In a hetero/bi relationship, it's a possibility with anyone they meet. Someone who is already insecure would possibly be more insecure knowing the potential partners for extramarital affairs were not confined to just members of the opposite sex. 

If there is trust, it should not matter. For me, it would not matter, if there was trust. 

Just thoughts and observations.


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## Swede

In some posts here on PerC, some people (generally the same group of men) seem to define themselves and others as genders rather than persons. This makes it really hard to have meaningful discussions with said individuals, in my opinion.
Do men in general see themselves as a "man" first and as an "individual" only second? The reason why I am asking, is because I seldom see myself as a woman but rather as a person, so I am always taken aback by judgements & biases based on the fact that I am a woman.


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## Wellsy

Swede said:


> In some posts here on PerC, some people (generally the same group of men) seem to define themselves and others as genders rather than persons. This makes it really hard to have meaningful discussions with said individuals, in my opinion.
> Do men in general see themselves as a "man" first and as an "individual" only second? The reason why I am asking, is because I seldom see myself as a woman but rather as a person, so I am always taken aback by judgements & biases based on the fact that I am a woman.


So you're saying you've been met with responses or seen posts where a male said something along the lines of 'I'm a man...' to justify traits of themselves?
In that case I understand that people may define themselves by this easily, I am man, she is woman we are like this. I make the assumption that both sexes can be met with issues of identity relating to gender especially in the teen years where one breaks away from their childhood and starts forming a base for who they are. I saw one post in that amusing thread about vulnerability in men where a woman expressed that after some time of her partner crying so often she didn't feel like the woman in the relationship anymore, that she was more masculine. Just as some people will opt to identify as gender thats the norm for the opposite sex, it seems normal that others identify heavily with the gender attributed to their sex.


Personally I don't view myself as a man in the classic sense other than physically I am. This isn't a gender issue but more I don't relate well to people's concepts of what makes a man in some ways and am reluctant to allow some of the traits to be imposed on myself. I like to view people individually as I don't like groups that much, in a group, people lose themselves. They aren't so much themselves sometimes as they are just another random member of the group and the group's culture. If someone identifies with a group people naturally tend to associate them with all traits that relate to that group, the good, the bad and the extremes. Not that what groups one belongs to doesn't inform my opinion of people to a degree.
I would say that I've always had a self isolated perception of self, I don't see myself belonging to much other than I interact with these people. They seem to see me as a belonging and may be hurt at the times that I show I don't much care for being tied in with the group though I like the people. Example being a social circle of mine call themselves 'da boys'. I'm apart of it I suppose but I don't feel like I one with the group mentality.
So my identity doesn't rely on the groups I belong to (ex. gender) but more how I view my personality in action. Perhaps rambled too much there. I expect some interesting responses that differ to my own to your question though./


----------



## Swede

Wellsy said:


> So you're saying you've been met with responses or seen posts where a male said something along the lines of 'I'm a man...' to justify traits of themselves?/


I don't react so much to that type of a statement - since I am not a man, it is hard for me to understand how it is to be a man. However, I hesitate to take one man's statement as the universal truth for all men, because one man's experiences and opinions does not define the views of all other men, just like one woman can't speak for all other women. I also agree with what you point out; people change pretty dramatically over the years, so what was my concept of the world and how it functions 20 years ago is quite different from how I perceive the same today.
One example of a "universal truth" often stated by men is "men only want one thing from women", indicating that this would be sex. I can still not believe that this is true, but maybe I am naive. I believe that the majority of men are more complex than this. I have certainly never felt that this is true with the men I have had relationships with and I don't think that I am stupid enough not to pick up on that. I also highly doubt that I have a knack for picking out men that are less "like men" than other men are.

What I do react to are the statements in line with "you are a woman and everyone knows that this is how women behave/are/think/react/act, etc", usually in conjunction with something that is not seen as a positive trait, ex we are supposedly more emotional & less logical, we "use men" and have certain expectation of them, we feel entitled to certain treatments, we are not independent, etc.



Wellsy said:


> Personally I don't view myself as a man in the classic sense other than physically I am.This isn't a gender issue but more *I don't relate well to people's concepts of what makes a man in some ways and am reluctant to allow some of the traits to be imposed on myself.*/


This is how I view myself; you are just expressing it much better than I did.
The funny thing is, when some PerC members point this out in the more "gender tense" discussions, they tend to get the "snow flake" argument back; "yeah, yeah, everyone think that they are so special". I happen to think that most of us *are* quite special and unique. This is why it is so interesting to interact with different individuals; it would be very boring if everyone was the same. 

Sorry about babbling on - hope this makes sense.


----------



## Diphenhydramine

Swede said:


> In some posts here on PerC, some people (generally the same group of men) seem to define themselves and others as genders rather than persons. This makes it really hard to have meaningful discussions with said individuals, in my opinion.
> Do men in general see themselves as a "man" first and as an "individual" only second? The reason why I am asking, is because I seldom see myself as a woman but rather as a person, so I am always taken aback by judgements & biases based on the fact that I am a woman.


 I'm not sure this has to be treated as a dichotomy.

I'm a man. I'm also an individual. What else am I, mixed-race, middle class, heterosexual, etc. All these things are part of my (and other people's) identities and it's very difficult to just say "ah, well everybody is different" - yes, they are, but the effect of collective membership of a given group is quite strong in humans. 

I don't think any of these things take inherent precedence - it's important to consider what you're talking about. If you want to go and say "oh, Im a man, so I think like this" that is pretty dumb, I think, but we can't deny there are biological and environmental effects on people. 

That said, we are all much more similar than we are different.


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## Wellsy

@Swede

Well in that case I don't think like that, not to say to a woman that they are incapable of something because of a stereotypical trait of women. Because that's dismissive of the possibility of what is.
I accept that the sexes have different experiences because of their sex but i'm under the view that those differences don't translate to being worlds apart in viewing the world. If they are so far apart its because that person's own views have separated them in some way.

Yeah I can understand people's view of the special snowflake but from my view there is a lot of diversity amongst our similarities. We can only go so far from one another by what we are and the world we live in, for how we think and what we believe,do etc but in all of that if you're to look across the globe to make a comparison between things to group them together you'd simplify them to their basics and ignore much of the detail that if you were to mix the things there would be a clash perhaps because they aren't the same thing though they may share traits. I suppose my view of people is if you were to hire someone for a position you could get people who almost exactly the same in their personality and such but even if they were identical, if one died and the person who was quite liked them replaced them, would you be unaltered in your view? As if their replacement means everythings back to normal or does one think that each person can not be replaced as they are the only person that is them and because of that their existence matters and not to be taken lightly even if they are a bothersome prick. But that's perhaps my optimistic romanticism of people. I'm too tired to be making sense I think.


----------



## JaySH

Swede said:


> In some posts here on PerC, some people (generally the same group of men) seem to define themselves and others as genders rather than persons. This makes it really hard to have meaningful discussions with said individuals, in my opinion.
> Do men in general see themselves as a "man" first and as an "individual" only second? The reason why I am asking, is because I seldom see myself as a woman but rather as a person, so I am always taken aback by judgements & biases based on the fact that I am a woman.


I agree with much of what @_Wellsy_ said. The stereotypical "man" identification" is one I often do not identify with. I prefer the male/female vs man/woman classifications. However, if I were to say that I thought there was no difference between the sexes, on avg, I'd be lying. There are areas in which males and females typically feel and think differently. "Typically" is the key word there. 

In terms of relationships, if a woman were to have what would be considered masculine traits, I'd be less likely to find them attractive. This isn't to imply strength, independency, strong will and leadership qualities, etc would be turnoffs but a ways of carrying one self. Mannerisms and forms of expression vary and, while clearly influenced by society, seem unnatural when acted out by the opposing and atypical sex for doing so. 

I guess I'm not sure how to answer your question. Putting it simply, I do not feel either sex has more or less value than the other. I do, however, feel they have their differences. I believe there is a reason people have sex changes. They feel more naturally comfortable with/being the opposite sex. Often the "female born" will have more testosterone, grow hair in places uncommon for females and have voices more consistent with male voices. However, if people didn't "identify" as male or female, what would be the point of getting a sex change? 

Seems a bit extreme for something that holds no purpose, no? 

Also, if there was no reason to identify as one or the other, shouldn't we all be bisexual? 
Just my thoughts.


----------



## android654

Swede said:


> In some posts here on PerC, some people (generally the same group of men) seem to define themselves and others as genders rather than persons. This makes it really hard to have meaningful discussions with said individuals, in my opinion.


Agreed.



> Do men in general see themselves as a "man" first and as an "individual" only second?


Irony.



> The reason why I am asking, is because I seldom see myself as a woman but rather as a person, so I am always taken aback by judgements & biases based on the fact that I am a woman.


I can only speak for myself and infer about everyone else. I think people by and large are majorly the products of their environments and the expectations placed on them by their surroundings and their interpretation of their role within that society. I also think bulk of society will deny themselves as individuals in order to try and find some equilibrium with their environment in hopes of finding some semblance of normalcy.

I, myself, focus on who I am as a person and that's really the only identifier I concern myself with. Too many boxes are applicable to me (gender, race, education, economic station, orientation, etc.) based on things that are ultimately irrelevant to who I am and how I see myself. In order for me to take anyone serious, in any context, that's the only thing we *have* to have in common, at least to a significant degree. I'm not much of a joiner nor a belonger--which is what you would have to be in order to use your gender as an identifier--and people who are are of a different kind, we speak a different language and see things with different eyes.


----------



## Marie Claire

I'd like to know what it means when a man is attracted to you and will come close to you and just stand there without talking. I've had two men do this. Are they hoping I'll talk to them or do they just like being near me?


----------



## loving2011

JaySH said:


> I will say, the 2 openly bisexual women I knew seemed to feel that fooling around with a female while in a committed relationship with a male was an exception to cheating. I'm certainly not implying this is the norm, but the mindset "i didnt cheat, she was another girl. Go fuck a guy if you want", for some does exist.
> 
> Also, being with someone has it's risks. You know there is the chance a connection will form outside of your relationship. In a hetero relationship/non-hetero relationship that means you have to worry about interactions with half of the people he/she meets. In a hetero/bi relationship, it's a possibility with anyone they meet. Someone who is already insecure would possibly be more insecure knowing the potential partners for extramarital affairs were not confined to just members of the opposite sex.
> 
> If there is trust, it should not matter. For me, it would not matter, if there was trust.
> 
> Just thoughts and observations.



I do understand that. As for me, I personally have never cheated. I have had straight men cheat on me though. When people say "Bisexuals are tempted by twice the amount of people," what if you're picky? I don't find the majority of everyday men and women sexually attractive. I can recognize good looks but it doesn't mean every good-looking person will turn me on. I can't cheat when I'm attracted to very select people.

If I'm in a relationship with a man that I'm deeply in love with, I doubt I'm going to feel the need to want to be with someone else.


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## wiarumas

Swede said:


> Do you feel that the 'boy bike design' really makes sense? Wouldn't it be more logical for a man to ride a 'girl bike design'? I am talking about the 'bar' - ouch! (Oh, and btw, it hurts like heck for a woman to crash not the bar too.)
> 
> I read somewhere that the deignes were picked based on strength (with bar) and based on practicality (no bar, to accommodate a skirt, cuz everyone knows how fun it is to get their skirt stuck in the pedals or the chain....). It seems a bit outdated, so I'm interested in comments.


I think it's marketing more than it is functional for "girl" bikes. "Boy" bikes seem more structurally sound as there would be less stress on the frame with that bar. Both me and my wife both have "boy bikes" with no complaint or issue. The bar shouldn't make any contact with your genitals unless you bought the wrong size/height. The seat on the other hand - I shopped around for a comfy one as I don't enjoy a thin hard seat which seem to be more of the default on the guy bikes.


----------



## wiarumas

VioletIris said:


> A question:
> If you had the chance to have sex with a woman who looked as good as Salma Hayek, Julianne Moore, Monica Belluci, or (fill in your favorite older woman here), or any average/cute 20 something, who would you choose? Just for a one time sex thing.
> 
> I ask because I call BS on all the men who say once you are over 40 or so, you've "hit the wall." I'd love to put a cam on those guys and have a woman who looks like Ms. Belluci approach and proposition them.
> 
> I am well over 40 and fully believe I am still attractive to my husband (who is the same age as me), and I still get attention and approached by other men even though I wear my wedding band. So my personal motive for asking is to confirm that the men who say this stuff (seems to be MRA or PUA trolls a lot of the time) are either a minority or just trying to get a rise out of us middle aged women. (They also seem to assume we are all overweight and collect shoes and cats, none of which is true in my case.)


There are no absolute rules to attractiveness. Some age well, some don't. It comes down to the individual.

With that said, there are plenty of 40 and even 50 something women who are still very attractive to me.

I mentioned earlier Kate Beckinsale is one of my favorites and she's 39. I'd take her over a 18-25 year old any day.

Age is just a number. Cliche, but true.


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## VioletIris

> I mentioned earlier Kate Beckinsale is one of my favorites and she's 39. I'd take her over a 18-25 year old any day.


Based on your response I have another question: Kate Beckinsale is known for, among other things, being very intelligent and an Oxford grad. Is her intelligence part of the package that you find attractive, or is your attraction based just on visual appearance? I ask because another man (an INTP) wrote something like he first notices the visuals, but no matter how beautiful, if she opens her mouth and says something stupid, everything crashes/goes limp.


----------



## wiarumas

phony said:


> Have you ever had sex with a virgin? What was it like? Was it a bad sexual experience for either of you?


Two. Neither were bad experiences. Both had some experience - just not intercourse. Neither had their hymen intact though so that helped.

I've heard stories from friends of virgins who they couldn't even fit their pinky finger into - sex was painful, bloody, etc. Both of mine had no problem with foreplay/fingering the numerous times leading up to the event. Sex was tight, but no (bad) pain, blood, etc.


----------



## JaySH

android654 said:


> Agreed.
> 
> 
> 
> Irony.
> 
> 
> 
> I can only speak for myself and infer about everyone else. I think people by and large are majorly the products of their environments and the expectations placed on them by their surroundings and their interpretation of their role within that society. I also think bulk of society will deny themselves as individuals in order to try and find some equilibrium with their environment in hopes of finding some semblance of normalcy.
> 
> I, myself, focus on who I am as a person and that's really the only identifier I concern myself with. Too many boxes are applicable to me (gender, race, education, economic station, orientation, etc.) based on things that are ultimately irrelevant to who I am and how I see myself. In order for me to take anyone serious, in any context, that's the only thing we *have* to have in common, at least to a significant degree. I'm not much of a joiner nor a belonger--which is what you would have to be in order to use your gender as an identifier--and people who are are of a different kind, we speak a different language and see things with different eyes.


 @android654 , How you been! It's been a while. 

My question to you then is, why are you answering in this thread? It is called "I'm a man, ask me anything". Doesn't answering here mean you're identifying as a man? 

This is why I said I wasn't sure how to answer the question. Some over identify with the stereotypes and use them as an excuse as much as they do an identity. But, I can't say I don't identify myself as a man...else I wouldn't be answering the question in the first place in the man thread.


----------



## wiarumas

loving2011 said:


> To the OP-Let's say the woman you're with tells you that she is sexually attracted to both genders. She has explored with women in the past. But, she now only has eyes for you and is madly in love with you. Would you tell her "I can't date you, because I think you're going to leave me for another woman." Let's say this woman is also someone that you madly fell in love with and thought she was your perfect partner. Let's clarify that she's not a lesbian, but simply bisexual.
> 
> An older 50 year old divorced man and another 40 year old divorced man said that most men would be reluctant to marry a woman that explored attraction to both genders. They say they feel they can't please her or have to compete with her. No offense, but that sounds like massive insecurity.
> 
> Do you agree with these two men? If you're confident and secure that your partner has confessed undying loyalty to you (which I have in all of my relationships), why be reluctant to get involved with someone that loves you and you love him?


No, I don't agree. Whether I'm competing against one gender or two doesn't matter. Competition always exists. She could just as easily leave me for another man so the fear is baseless.

Even if one day she craves a female in the bedroom strictly for sexual reasons, I wouldn't worry and would be okay exploring that part of her sexuality. 

And even if it doesn't work out and she left me for a woman, I wouldn't blame it on her being bisexual, but rather the non-sexual component of the relationship.


----------



## android654

JaySH said:


> @_android654_ , How you been! It's been a while.
> 
> My question to you then is, why are you answering in this thread? It is called "I'm a man, ask me anything". Doesn't answering here mean you're identifying as a man?
> 
> This is why I said I wasn't sure how to answer the question. Some over identify with the stereotypes and use them as an excuse as much as they do an identity. But, I can't say I don't identify myself as a man...else I wouldn't be answering the question in the first place in the man thread.


The answer is simple: I have a penis. As far as I'm concerned, all you need to be considered a man is a dick, since that's the designation attached to that appendage. Aside form that I don't really share anything with the rest of man-dom. I think if you look over all the questions I answered throughout this thing, that most, if not all, of my opinions fall by the wayside when compared with the majority of other men. So, I'm here to provide a different perspective from other people with dicks.


----------



## JaySH

android654 said:


> The answer is simple: I have a penis. As far as I'm concerned, all you need to be considered a man is a dick, since that's the designation attached to that appendage. Aside form that I don't really share anything with the rest of man-dom. I think if you look over all the questions I answered throughout this thing, that most, if not all, of my opinions fall by the wayside when compared with the majority of other men. So, I'm here to provide a different perspective from other people with dicks.



Fair enough. Not sure if you read it as such but, no disrespect was meant. I haven't read in here in a while but when I frequented this thread, I agreed with much of what you said. 

I will say there is nothing I purposely do simply because I am a man. There is much I do that happens to be consistent with the less extreme stereotypes of men. I'm not ashamed of that nor proud. But, I do identify with and as it. 

Again, sorry if you felt disrespected. It wasn't my intent.


----------



## android654

JaySH said:


> Fair enough. Not sure if you read it as such but, no disrespect was meant. I haven't read in here in a while but when I frequented this thread, I agreed with much of what you said.
> 
> I will say there is nothing I purposely do simply because I am a man. There is much I do that happens to be consistent with the less extreme stereotypes of men. I'm not ashamed of that nor proud. But, I do identify with and as it.
> 
> Again, sorry if you felt disrespected. It wasn't my intent.


Did it read like I was offended? Sorry if it did, but I wasn't.


----------



## VioletIris

Yeah, I know, I picked just one very contentious line with no background context as my post. And it is comedy. 

My husband like Louis Ck so I am going to have to check him out this weekend. 

Trying to spend more time with my son, he is teaching me to play Devil May Cry (DMC) on the XBox and that's how we have quality time together that he enjoys. He also enjoys laughing at how clumsy I am with the controllers. 

So I am sure I'll be back soon with more questions about men.


----------



## wiarumas

phony said:


> @wiarumas
> 
> What can I do to help my 17 year old cousin with OCD? I'm really worried about him. He started seeing a psychiatrist this year, but he's said it isn't a regular thing. I know he was on anti-depressants for a while, but I'm not sure about now. I'm just afraid that it's making him lose his self-esteem, holding him back socially (I don't think he's made friends since starting school in Jan.) and generally making him feel like shit. Is there anything I can do to help?


Well there is a lot of things you are throwing out here. I wouldn't necessarily clump them together. OCD, depression, self esteem... These are all separate issues. I would be there, show him good times, and just distract him from himself. That's about all you can do. All those issues originate from the self so only he can work it out. Just don't bring it up or lay it on too thick (are you okay?) as the goal is to take his mind off things. 

Self esteem is about self perception. Unless you can change his image of himself, you can't change it. Words won't fix it. It's probably caused by something (possibly of the female variety) and unless that's addressed, he won't believe you. OCD, if I had to describe it, is about anxiety manifesting itself in irrational scenarios. The only way to get rid of it is to rationalize it away. Typically by committing yourself to the anxiety causing thing and seeing it isn't a big deal - a method they call desensitization I think. Again, nothing you can do about it as its up to him to help himself. Not everyone has that willpower. Though, you can help by just acting as a distraction from his internalized and self destructive thoughts.


----------



## wiarumas

VioletIris said:


> So, how many young men believe Patrice O'Neil (I think that's his name) who says pussy over age 30 is worthless?
> I know my son was watching the Charlie Sheen roast so has been exposed to that comedian, so now I have to do some "please don't ever confuse media-land with reality" conversation, just like I also had to make sure he understood (with examples in Photoshop) that real women are never going to look like Photoshopped Megan Fox, after he started calling his older sister and her friends "fat" when they were a healthy weight (BMI about 24).
> He is only 14 so, yeah, the media influences him. And I am often out of touch with what younger people are viewing (I'm listening to Led Zeppelin and watching Miami Vice reruns.)


Never heard of him. 

I wouldn't worry about your son. Don't confuse his insults (generally a grasp at whatever vulnerabilities exposed) with his personal preference. Beggars can't be choosers and I'm your son has a sense of reality where he knows what is available vs what he sees on TV.


----------



## userslon

What happens if a couple doesn't have sex ever and the man is frustrated all the time. Can it still work? 
Note: the girl is just scared.


----------



## William I am

userslon said:


> What happens if a couple doesn't have sex ever and the man is frustrated all the time. Can it still work?
> Note: the girl is just scared.


Not for me. But then I'd try to help her work through her fear.


----------



## android654

userslon said:


> What happens if a couple doesn't have sex ever and the man is frustrated all the time. Can it still work?
> Note: the girl is just scared.


That's not a relationship, more like an uneasy arrangement. It'll either dissolve quickly, or last for a while and end horribly.


----------



## userslon

is it normal for a man to want to have sex on the 2nd date?


----------



## Snow

VioletIris said:


> So, how many young men believe Patrice O'Neil (I think that's his name) who says pussy over age 30 is worthless?
> I know my son was watching the Charlie Sheen roast so has been exposed to that comedian, so now I have to do some "please don't ever confuse media-land with reality" conversation, just like I also had to make sure he understood (with examples in Photoshop) that real women are never going to look like Photoshopped Megan Fox, after he started calling his older sister and her friends "fat" when they were a healthy weight (BMI about 24).
> He is only 14 so, yeah, the media influences him. And I am often out of touch with what younger people are viewing (I'm listening to Led Zeppelin and watching Miami Vice reruns.)


I have no kids and thus my advice may not be of great value to you. However I would suggest that as a child--especially young teenager--in this sensationalist world, your son _needs_ to be taught about the world's view on sex and the prevalent sexism. A conversation with him about how the world perpetuates the negative stereotypes that women have to deal with _as well as_ the way society perpetuates that men _should_ uphold these (and value these) stereotypes is important.

While my parents were great, I never had such conversations and so feel that in my 20's I've had to overcome a lot of these via understanding them. Repercussions of living with these stereotypes include an "attraction toward" pornography (which fortunately I am not addicted to and don't struggle with, though there were times in my life I began to), preconceived ideas of what women "should look like," and how _I_ should look like.



userslon said:


> What happens if a couple doesn't have sex ever and the man is frustrated all the time. Can it still work?
> Note: the girl is just scared.


How serious is the couple? Are you saying you don't have sex _because_ he is frustrated? Or you don't have sex _therefore_ he is frustrated? The former instance is frustrating to the man because a) we are sexual creatures (as are women), and have frequent strong desires for sex, and b) the man may not have expected the situation, and simply have missed expectations. In the latter instance (he is frustrated _therefore_ you do not have sex), he just needs to get over whatever issues are going on. You both have needs, and he needs to be attentive to them as well.



userslon said:


> is it normal for a man to want to have sex on the 2nd date?


It's unusual for a man _not_ to want sex on the _first date_. There is a lot of social stigma that revolves around women having sex early in a relationship, but men do not have that same restriction attached. The bottom line is, if you don't feel it's right, don't do it. Don't do it just to "make him happy" if you aren't interested or comfortable with it.


----------



## userslon

If he says I'll wait until you are ready...what is this time frame like? Is it a week a month or a few months? Cuz I might never end up being ready to do it with him.


----------



## William I am

userslon said:


> is it normal for a man to want to have sex on the 2nd date?


2nd date ... maybe. 3rd date- common. I think a lot of people expect to be having sex before 10 dates at any rate. It depends a lot on age.
It's not how I usually operate, but it's happened. I once had sex on the first date (led to a year relationship). You never know and just go with the flow and what you're comfortable. I don't expect sex on the first date. There's no guarantee or implicit reason that she should sleep with me. 

And that social propaganda about men wanting sex all the time - not true and not beneficial for anyone.


----------



## Snow

userslon said:


> If he says I'll wait until you are ready...what is this time frame like? Is it a week a month or a few months? Cuz I might never end up being ready to do it with him.


Well if he's a decent man, he won't simply break up with you for not engaging in sex with him. If you're not comfortable by the fourth or fifth date _and_ you think he's a good guy with potential, it can't hurt bringing it up and talking to him about it.


----------



## William I am

If he's not satisfied and not getting what he needs, and the relationship is unhealthy for him because of that, he should break up with her due simply to no sex. There's nothing wrong with pursuing what you need to thrive. It does not make a man indecent.

My timeline on that would be something like 3-6 months, depending on the person.


----------



## Wellsy

userslon said:


> If he says I'll wait until you are ready...what is this time frame like? Is it a week a month or a few months? Cuz I might never end up being ready to do it with him.


Depends on the person's expectations. I think some men may get impatient as they feel like they invest time and effort into someone and if they only want sex, well they're not getting what they want in return, so they are a lot more impatient.
I would assume someone who enjoys the woman more for than what she may do sexually would be more patient but then it's up to the man of what he expects that may influence his decision.
He may have influences by society, he may feel he is wasting time on that person and should move on.
If he's smart, he would try to make you feel comfortable and help take the pressure off. 

It shouldn't be a race against the clock though, should try and enjoy one another and see where things flow to. It may not ever be an easy decision to make, but you may get to a point where you feel you're ready to try or you may not and things will go on. Hopefully he doesn't turn into a moody prick about it if you don't feel ready.


----------



## petite libellule

1. Have you ever heard the phrase, "you can't have your cake and eat it too" ?

2. What do you think that means ?

3. How do you get over or outgrow that common/weak trait ?

4. Conversely, How do you deal with someone who wants to have their cake and eat it to ? 


1.1. Same as above ..only, with the cliche, "Don't cut your nose off despite your face".
1.2
1.3
1.4

3. Additionally, these two statements to me, seem to be at polar ends of the the globe. 
But maybe it's my limited perception. do these cliche' (common BS traits) have anything in common ? 
Is there common ground ?


----------



## Wellsy

Ningsta Kitty said:


> *1.* Have you ever heard the phrase, "you can't have your cake and eat it too" ?
> - Yes
> 
> *2.* What do you think that means ?
> - I assume it relates to greed, expectations, entitlement and the advice is compromise or the cost of something for your own interests/gains.
> 
> *3.* How do you get over or outgrow that common/weak trait ?
> - In relation to the phrase? Well I suppose by learning to share and how it isn't effective to treat others like shit in your own interests as it limits your future opportunities. People respond better when you give them a little something too. Got a give a little to get a little. Compromise seems vital to success as there's many things you can't bend to your wants and need to work around them. It's a trait that comes with age, the egocentric child must grow up and realize there is more than his own wants.
> 
> *4.* Conversely, How do you deal with someone who wants to have their cake and eat it to ?
> - Limit contact, tell them to piss off with their ridiculous expectation, offer them a compromise.
> 
> *1.1.* Same as above ..only, with the cliche, "Don't cut your nose off despite your face".
> - Have heard it
> *1.2*
> - Hhmmm I think it has something to do with hurting yourself in trying get something. Along the lines of, you're gonna get yourself hurt if you do that.
> *1.3*
> - Some people learn hard and they won't take such advice and perhaps would get hurt enough times to go well doing this sucks, but some people will beat themselves against a brick wall to death before they adapt. But for this in particular I think it's about an awareness of your motivations and emotions. Say with revenge, it's usually born from anger/hate, if you are so easily pushed into such a state, you lack control and people can manipulate you. For some they are blind to this and simply making them aware is good enough to motivate them, other you let themselves get hurt, you can't force growth in another.
> *1.4*
> - Depending on how serious, I may stop them and get forceful with them because they are going to get really hurt over something trivial. Their revenge not worth the ultimate end or I let them learn the hard way and go get their fill.
> 
> *3.* Additionally, these two statements to me, seem to be at polar ends of the the globe.
> But maybe it's my limited perception. do these cliche' (common BS traits) have anything in common ?
> Is there common ground ?


Do they relate at all? It points out a flaw in a person. The first one is motivated by entitlement/self-serving to the detriment of others, it lacks realistic view of how to behave. The other pushed by a lack of control and emotional intensity. They could be both applicable to the same individual or separate.
Not sure how well I answered it all because perhaps you had reasons for these questions that relate to more specific things and this is all very general, that or I did a pretty damn good job because it's only an opinion.


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> 1. Have you ever heard the phrase, "you can't have your cake and eat it too" ?
> 
> 2. What do you think that means ?


I think that statement is meant to limit expectations and curb a pperson's greed when confronted with the opportunity to "have it all." 



> 3. How do you get over or outgrow that common/weak trait


The desire to want it all? You don't. One of the worst feelings a person can have is wanting?coveting?lusting after someone?something and being denied access. So the desire is nnot something that can be removed entirely.

However, this saying has more to do with management of expectations, and I think through experience and exposure a person learns that dealing with others means a limit to what can be granted to them. So I would say that interaction and age ultimately help you grow out of it. Then again, some people never move. Beyond selfishness, so sometimes its just the luck of the draw.



> 4. Conversely, How do you deal with someone who wants to have their cake and eat it to ?


I tend to not deal with those blinded by their greed, we tend to have little in common and we usually walk in different directions. When having to deal with them the only thing someone can do is manage their expectations of that person and keep in mind their penchant for taking more than they're entitled to.




> 1.1. Same as above ..only, with the cliche, "Don't cut your nose off despite your face".
> 1.2


I think it has to do with people who do things blindly and ultimately wind up hurting themselves in the process. 



> 1.3


I'm not sure if there's actually anything here to grow up from. Some people are just recklessand self-destructive in their problemsolving and escalate their actions from attempt to attempt, and no amount of maturity challenges that. Sure a person can see the dangers of their actions in hindsight, but in the moment they're blind to it all.



> 1.4


Keep in mind that I'm an INFP before you read the rest of this.

There's something poetic, perhaps even romantic to a degree, about self-destructive behavior. I'm not sure if its the damage they cause to themselves, the aftermath that affects everyone around them, or the wave of destructive bahvior that I find alluring, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit there's something there that's somewhat interesting.

As for dealing with them, most people would keep their distance. Whuch is sound advice. These kinds of people rarely have their shit together and shun people's attemps to help them, so there's not a whole lot to help there.



> 3. Additionally, these two statements to me, seem to be at polar ends of the the globe.
> But maybe it's my limited perception. do these cliche' (common BS traits) have anything in common ?
> Is there common ground ?


A person that wants too much and is self-destructive? There may be some overlap there, but I don't think there's anything that they necessarily share. There are amny greedy people who've got their shit together and many self-destructives who don't want more than they could reasonably expect.


----------



## petite libellule

@_Wellsy_ @_android654_ you might not believe it but I swear on my life! When I posted that, I thought to myself that the only ones who would answer would be INFP, lol. I think it's because more times than not, I'm accustomed to having either people cringe at the abstract OR (if they're comfortable w/ abstract) they cringe w/ the touchy feely "emotional" nature of the questions.

also, super impressed. good answers! :kitteh:


----------



## wiarumas

userslon said:


> What happens if a couple doesn't have sex ever and the man is frustrated all the time. Can it still work?
> Note: the girl is just scared.


My vote is no. The red herring is sex. The real reason it won't work out is because the man is frustrated all the time. If any person is frustrated at the relationship for any reason: lack of sex, lack of communication, lack of support, lack of fun, etc, it probably won't last.


----------



## wiarumas

userslon said:


> is it normal for a man to want to have sex on the 2nd date?


Yes. In my experience, I'm almost always wanting sex, even when first meeting a woman, but I'm patient enough to wait for when _she_ is ready. Within reason.


----------



## wiarumas

userslon said:


> If he says I'll wait until you are ready...what is this time frame like? Is it a week a month or a few months? Cuz I might never end up being ready to do it with him.


My limit is probably around a month and a half or two. It varies for others and it depends a lot on age and experience. A virgin, for example, is more likely willing to wait.


----------



## Kyandigaru

I don't know if this has been answered, but here it goes. For the men, When or if, do you ever put a woman before your mother? Meaning, needing having your woman as the leading lady in your life. Is it when you're married to her or dating her?


----------



## android654

Kyandigaru said:


> I don't know if this has been answered, but here it goes. For the men, When or if, do you ever put a woman before your mother? Meaning, needing having your woman as the leading lady in your life. Is it when you're married to her or dating her?


In order for one person to replace another, that other has to be removed. If you feel the need to compete with someone's mother in order to get affection, respect or attention, then there's something amiss with one of the parties or both.


----------



## petite libellule

1. would you rather be syphilis or a wart ?

2. would you rather be an ant eater, or hippo ?

3. would you rather be doing a transsexual midget or be a flat tire ?

:tongue:


----------



## Monsieur Melancholy

*Have you been training in the gym lately, BROTHER?*


----------



## Wellsy

Ningsta Kitty said:


> 1. would you rather be syphilis or a wart ?
> 
> 2. would you rather be an ant eater, or hippo ?
> 
> 3. would you rather be doing a transsexual midget or be a flat tire ?
> 
> :tongue:


A wart
Hippo for sure. Those fuckers are dangerous.
Doing? hhmm well I imagine there'd be some identity struggle in being transexual and a midget, people look at you weird but could totally own it and flaunt it and the right people would love the personality regardless.
But with a flat tire, I have no consciousness and don't exist really. So perhaps the flat tire.


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> 1. would you rather be syphilis or a wart ?


Wart.



> 2. would you rather be an ant eater, or hippo ?


Hippo. The deadliest animal in Africa. Hungry, hungry, for death!



> 3. would you rather be doing a transsexual midget or be a flat tire ?


I guess I'll be cuddling with with a transsexual midget.

:tongue:[/QUOTE]


----------



## badwolf

Kyandigaru said:


> I don't know if this has been answered, but here it goes. For the men, When or if, do you ever put a woman before your mother? Meaning, needing having your woman as the leading lady in your life. Is it when you're married to her or dating her?


Personally, I probably don't value my mom as much as I should. She is an Extravert and a Feeler and very close to being a Perceiver, so I have a particularly difficult time understanding her and appreciating what she does. So, the case has almost always been, other woman first. 

P.S. This especially holds true now that my love interest is a fellow INTJ and I can relate to her extremely well.


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> If you were a vampire, whose blood would you drink first?


The easiest victim to feed off. Nobody in particular.


----------



## Swede

Inspired by a discussion under another on-going thread:

Do you believe that it is easier for a man to relate to or be intimidated by women if he grew up with sisters? 
Do you believe that the same is true for women growing up with brothers?

Do you think that it is easier for a man to relate to or be intimidated by women if he has female friends? 
Do you think that the same is true for women with male friends?

I'd be interested to know why you think what you do.

[_Edited to add_: Potential follow up question in post #2117]


----------



## Swede

Stupid question - I apologize in advance:
How is it possible to pee with an erection? I don't really get how that could work...
:blushed:


----------



## wiarumas

Kyandigaru said:


> I don't know if this has been answered, but here it goes. For the men, When or if, do you ever put a woman before your mother? Meaning, needing having your woman as the leading lady in your life. Is it when you're married to her or dating her?


Roles aren't important in my life: wife, mother, etc. 

What is best, makes most sense, is what, and by connection whom, reigns supreme. The voice of reason. It's not reserved for someone by default. It is earned on a case by case basis.


----------



## Surreal Snake




----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> 1. would you rather be syphilis or a wart ?
> 
> *wart. They are a common symptom with a multitude of causes. Syphillis is a disease. *
> 
> 2. would you rather be an ant eater, or hippo ?
> 
> *hippo. They are one of the most dangerous animals on the planet.*
> 
> 3. would you rather be doing a transsexual midget or be a flat tire ?
> 
> *rather be a human engaging in any sex act than be an inanimate object. *
> 
> :tongue:


In quote


----------



## wiarumas

Monsieur Melancholy said:


> *Have you been training in the gym lately, BROTHER?*


Home gym. Powerblocks, free weights on Saturday - shoulders along with elliptical for cardio. Sunday I biked 20 miles along the Potomac River.


----------



## wiarumas

Swede said:


> Inspired by a discussion under another on-going thread:
> 
> Do you believe that it is easier for a man to relate to or be intimidated by women if he grew up with sisters?
> 
> * The men I know who had sisters (plural) growing up know how to deal with them much better than me being the first born, older brother. It doesn't exempt them from being intimidated - but they do seem to handle some situations better. *
> 
> Do you believe that the same is true for women growing up with brothers?
> 
> *same as above. Also, i think women with brothers (espeically older brothers) are not as naive. Not necessarily relate to men better. They are just more "aware". *
> 
> Do you think that it is easier for a man to relate to or be intimidated by women if he has female friends?
> 
> *i don't think having female friends makes much of a difference. If so, not a very notable amount. Living with someone is a completely different scenario and has more exposure. *
> 
> Do you think that the same is true for women with male friends?
> 
> * same as above*
> 
> I'd be interested to know why you think what you do.


*The thing that correlates is experience. The more experience you have doing something - everything from programming, to cooking, to dealing with the opposite gender- the more likely you are do it well. Not having sisters or a mom and not having any female friends may (note, not an absolute) put an individual at a disadvantage vs a person who had extensive time with sisters, lived with females, etc.*


----------



## wiarumas

Swede said:


> Stupid question - I apologize in advance:
> How is it possible to pee with an erection? I don't really get how that could work...
> :blushed:


Same pipes. Nothing is different when a man has an erection. The difference is when the male begins to orgasm. That's when the bladder part gets closed off by the prostate and the path to the seminal vehicle opens up (my not fact checked, non-medical answer). It works like a railroad switch.


----------



## Swede

@wiarumas - do you believe that gender is more important than personalities when it comes to understanding the opposite gender better by 'practicing' on opposite gendered siblings? Why? 
(I am not debating, I just want to hear your honest opinion. The reason I am wondering is, for example, as an INTJ female I have started to realize more and more that I am much more "masculine" (as deemed by society) in my actions and thoughts than many other women, so I may not have been a great person to base any conclusions as to 'how women function' in general.


----------



## Swede

wiarumas said:


> Same pipes. Nothing is different when a man has an erection. The difference is when the male begins to orgasm. That's when the bladder part gets closed off by the prostate and the path to the seminal vehicle opens up (my not fact checked, non-medical answer). It works like a railroad switch.


I was more thinking of the aiming and such... if that makes sense?


----------



## wiarumas

Swede said:


> @wiarumas - do you believe that gender is more important than personalities when it comes to understanding the opposite gender better by 'practicing' on opposite gendered siblings? Why?
> (I am not debating, I just want to hear your honest opinion. The reason I am wondering is, for example, as an INTJ female I have started to realize more and more that I am much more "masculine" (as deemed by society) in my actions and thoughts than many other women, so I may not have been a great person to base any conclusions as to 'how women function' in general.


I think both are somewhat important, but not really that significant. And it's not universal. Having exposure to an ISTJ sister for example will not make you an expert on all ISTJs nor all females. It just helps relatively speaking to no experience at all. Possibly having more to do with dealing with people different than you than gender or personality specifically.


----------



## wiarumas

Swede said:


> I was more thinning of the aiming and such... if that makes sense?


You can still aim an erection (think of all those expertly placed orgasms in porn and all those who use the pull out method). It does pivot a bit, and you can also lean if needed.

It is more difficult but definitely possible. In fact, millions of men have to attempt it every morning with their morning wood.


----------



## drmiller100

Accidie said:


> For some reason I hear this a lot. When you guys say you want a blowjob for your birthday, would you seriously accept just a blowjob and be cool with it? I'm serious. Because that's the easiest present ever. I want to add a card on top of it just so I don't feel like a tightwad.


Well, there are blowjobs, and there are BLOWJOBS. 

But, yeah. I'd rather have hot sexual favors than a stupid card. 

Another idea is a coupon book with various sexual favors in it. Include sexual favors you'd like him to do to you, and he can "use" the coupon on you if he is not a total dumb ass.

That would be cool.


----------



## searcheagle

ITHINKYOUREOVERTHINKING said:


> Just because it's active does not necessarily mean that you were active within it. So, no, I am not over-thinking it.


I was making a joke about your user name, for one. And for 2, if you have a question ask it! If someone finds it interesting, they will answer it. Lots of men watch this thread and answers questions that interest them. You don't need to ask for permission to participate.


----------



## ITHINKYOUREOVERTHINKING

searcheagle said:


> I was making a joke about your user name, for one. And for 2, if you have a question ask it! If someone finds it interesting, they will answer it. Lots of men watch this thread and answers questions that interest them. You don't need to ask for permission to participate.


I wasn't asking permission. I was asking if you personally were still replying. I figured it was possible that you had quit altogether.


----------



## Priskilla17

I used to have delusions that three aliens called "the Dord" were after me and would kill me if I didn't have a plan.


----------



## Swede

Do men secretly want their women to nag at them? Is it some annoying type of power play? It seems to me like pretty much all married women that I hang out with have the same problem; we have to ask our husbands the same things over and over. We are all intelligent individuals, so I really don't understand why it is like this. I bet that both wives & husbands are tired of it by now! 
Some (very simple) things I ask of my husband, I've asked him for 15 years now, I am not even kidding. Is he just waiting for me to break down and take care of his crap for him? Is he waiting for me to go crazy on his ass? Do all men want to marry a mother/secretary? A couple of threads I've read here on PerC have been kinda jaw dropping - for example this one man who was going through a breakup was 'not looking forward to taking care of all the mundane things on his own, like paying bills, etc'. Is this how men actually see their women - not so much as a partner as a clean-up crew of sorts? 
I don't get it and its a huge turn off. Sorry about the tone of bitterness, but I'm just tired of it. I seriously have enough to do (wow now I'm even nagging in this thread.. lol! Sorry!)


----------



## Diphenhydramine

Swede said:


> Do men secretly want their women to nag at them? Is it some annoying type of power play? It seems to me like pretty much all married women that I hang out with have the same problem; we have to ask our husbands the same things over and over. We are all intelligent individuals, so I really don't understand why it is like this. I bet that both wives & husbands are tired of it by now!
> Some (very simple) things I ask of my husband, I've asked him for 15 years now, I am not even kidding. Is he just waiting for me to break down and take care of his crap for him? Is he waiting for me to go crazy on his ass? Do all men want to marry a mother/secretary? A couple of threads I've read here on PerC have been kinda jaw dropping - for example this one man who was going through a breakup was 'not looking forward to taking care of all the mundane things on his own, like paying bills, etc'. Is this how men actually see their women - not so much as a partner as a clean-up crew of sorts?
> I don't get it and its a huge turn off. Sorry about the tone of bitterness, but I'm just tired of it. I seriously have enough to do (wow now I'm even nagging in this thread.. lol! Sorry!)


 This reminded me so much of my mother. "I wouldnt have to nag you if you did things." 

Hmm. Well. I cant give any answer that wouldnt be flaws by a 'men from mars women from venus' fallacy. In my experience it seems though that there may be some kind of big diffference, generally speaking, in what we see as important. But some of this may just be upbringing-reinforcement. Women often care a lot about minor details to which men pay virtually no attention: and often they appear to take a bizarre satisfaction in the realisation of these examples. Additionally men are more capable of ignoring things that dont require an immediate attention (not that this is good: in mycase it has been wholly negative)

From my perspective, the basic male-male reaction to nagging is: why is it important? Who cares? 

I think thats instructive. Maybe not. We dont respond to it because nagging is the second least effective form of persuasion: it only reinforces the idea that whatever is at hand is irrelevant. If the only visible effect of not doing something is that someone tells you it needs to be done - sorry, that doesnt feel important.


----------



## Diphenhydramine

Swede said:


> Do men secretly want their women to nag at them? Is it some annoying type of power play? It seems to me like pretty much all married women that I hang out with have the same problem; we have to ask our husbands the same things over and over. We are all intelligent individuals, so I really don't understand why it is like this. I bet that both wives & husbands are tired of it by now!
> Some (very simple) things I ask of my husband, I've asked him for 15 years now, I am not even kidding. Is he just waiting for me to break down and take care of his crap for him? Is he waiting for me to go crazy on his ass? Do all men want to marry a mother/secretary? A couple of threads I've read here on PerC have been kinda jaw dropping - for example this one man who was going through a breakup was 'not looking forward to taking care of all the mundane things on his own, like paying bills, etc'. Is this how men actually see their women - not so much as a partner as a clean-up crew of sorts?
> I don't get it and its a huge turn off. Sorry about the tone of bitterness, but I'm just tired of it. I seriously have enough to do (wow now I'm even nagging in this thread.. lol! Sorry!)


 This reminded me so much of my mother. "I wouldnt have to nag you if you did things." 

Hmm. Well. I cant give any answer that wouldnt be flaws by a 'men from mars women from venus' fallacy. In my experience it seems though that there may be some kind of big diffference, generally speaking, in what we see as important. But some of this may just be upbringing-reinforcement. Women often care a lot about minor details to which men pay virtually no attention: and often they appear to take a bizarre satisfaction in the realisation of these examples. Additionally men are more capable of ignoring things that dont require an immediate attention (not that this is good: in mycase it has been wholly negative)

From my perspective, the basic male-male reaction to nagging is: why is it important? Who cares? 

I think thats instructive. Maybe not. We dont respond to it because nagging is the second least effective form of persuasion: it only reinforces the idea that whatever is at hand is irrelevant. If the only visible effect of not doing something is that someone tells you it needs to be done - sorry, that doesnt feel important.

EDIT: though I definitely dont agree a partner should be a secretary who does all the boring things so you dont have to!! Definitely not how I was raised.


----------



## android654

Swede said:


> Do men secretly want their women to nag at them? Is it some annoying type of power play? It seems to me like pretty much all married women that I hang out with have the same problem; we have to ask our husbands the same things over and over. We are all intelligent individuals, so I really don't understand why it is like this. I bet that both wives & husbands are tired of it by now!
> Some (very simple) things I ask of my husband, I've asked him for 15 years now, I am not even kidding. Is he just waiting for me to break down and take care of his crap for him? Is he waiting for me to go crazy on his ass? Do all men want to marry a mother/secretary? A couple of threads I've read here on PerC have been kinda jaw dropping - for example this one man who was going through a breakup was 'not looking forward to taking care of all the mundane things on his own, like paying bills, etc'. Is this how men actually see their women - not so much as a partner as a clean-up crew of sorts?
> I don't get it and its a huge turn off. Sorry about the tone of bitterness, but I'm just tired of it. I seriously have enough to do (wow now I'm even nagging in this thread.. lol! Sorry!)


I'm atypical in this, as most of my friends seem to go after someone who's dependent upon them or whom they rely on as a means of structure. So yeah, most men I know have an Elektra or Oedipus slant to their attractions and as a result their relationships usually crash and burn rather than come to an end.

Is it so radical to want an equal? Someone on the same level? It feels that way most of the time. I have no intentions of being anyone's father just as I wouldn't respond to anyone attempting to be my mother--it's repulsive and off-putting.

I know what I have to do and am responsible enough to complete any obligations I make, whether that's in a relationship or the things that must be done when living in a home. I suppose that comes from having to partially raise myself in a single-parent home, but I believe any woman worth the trouble of me getting emotionally invested in should be adult enough to do the same.


----------



## Swede

Diphenhydramine said:


> I think thats instructive. Maybe not. We dont respond to it because nagging is the second least effective form of persuasion: it only reinforces the idea that whatever is at hand is irrelevant. If the only visible effect of not doing something is that someone tells you it needs to be done - sorry, that doesnt feel important.


This is exactly why I would interpret it as a power struggle - it's like "I will show you that you can't force me to do what you think I need to do". 

I can understand that throwing the socks on the floor right next to the hamper is not going to end the world, even though it does annoy me greatly, but when the issues are safety & health related I just don't even know what to do anymore. To give a couple of examples; leaving the house for work in the middle of the night without locking the front door (he works strange shifts), leaving small stuff all around the house within reach of our 9 month old daughters creating suffocation hazards, walking off from a kid in a car-seat without strapping her in on top of the table (yes, she did fall down, flat on her face and the car seat ended up on top of her - yet he did the same thing just a couple of days later). 

He is intelligent enough that he should be able to figure out that he is creating dangerous situations, he is caring enough that I know he is not deliberately doing it, I guess that he is just checked out from reality most of the time. I am not big on drama, but ultimately that is the only way to reach through - to basically talk down to him and guilt him into stop the particular behavior that needs addressed. The 'conversations' I am forced to have with him sometimes feel more like lectures or threats. I don't want to be forced into that role! I don't like myself that way and I am sure that he doesn't either. At the same time, I can't really shrug and move on either because the issues are not trivial. It feels like someone has to be the responsible one and apparently it has to be me (sorry about whining!).

What I need to know is what would be the best way to get through, other than creating a hostile vibe?


----------



## 626Stitch

> Do men secretly want their women to nag at them?


Maybe some guys just have really low standards. I suspect if some of these guys were single they would just live in filth and be quite happy with that. I wish I had a photo of my room to post here.


----------



## dizzycactus

Swede said:


> Do men secretly want their women to nag at them?


Well, no. But the degree to which I dislike it depends on your definition of it. Nagging is not the same as asking me to do something. Nagging is when you ask me to do something that isn't urgently essential, e.g. vacuuming, and then I put it on my to do list, say I queue it behind a few other things, and then repeatedly, and in an antagonistic and semi-hostile tone, order me to do it, if I haven't done it fast enough. That's taking away my autonomy and presuming I am some kind of servant for you. You make a request, and unless there's some reason that it needs to be done soon, I integrate it into my schedule and decide for myself when I shall do it. 

Particularly annoying is when I already have some work to do, am asked to do something like vacuuming, get my work done, then decide to take a break before vacuuming, and then get nagged at for lying around taking a break instead of vacuuming. I have to be able to retain my own freedom. Doing something for someone else must be my own choice. Nagging, unless there is some reason for it e.g. asked me to do it yesterday and haven't yet, is a statement that my freedom is not my own, that not only am I under obligation to do the task, but that I must do it instantly, and also that I must be reprimanded for not doing it as soon as asked. Nagging invalidates a request and turns it into an order, which I instinctively resist and rebel against.


----------



## drmiller100

some people nag. I will not be around them.

what works for me is a "to do list" written on a piece of paper and stuck to the frige with a magnet.


----------



## Bago

Have you ever fought for your other half ? If so, what did you do, and how did you fight to protect them ?


----------



## drmiller100

Bago said:


> Have you ever fought for your other half ? If so, what did you do, and how did you fight to protect them ?


I have not physically fought since junior high. I am now 46.
I have smiled at someone who was disrespectful to my lady when I asked them to reconsider.

The truth in the smile helped encourage them to apologize to my lady.


----------



## Blazy

Bago said:


> Have you ever fought for your other half ? If so, what did you do, and how did you fight to protect them ?


I stood up for her a lot of times. Doesn't matter if it's some other person putting her down. It could be something from her personal life. Whatever is bothering her, I'll be sure to stay next to her and comfort her in any way I can. I haven't physically confronted any guy yet for my SO. Because they know they'll lose


----------



## Jennywocky

626Stitch said:


> Maybe some guys just have really low standards. I suspect if some of these guys were single they would just live in filth and be quite happy with that. I wish I had a photo of my room to post here.


Lol. I can only imagine. 

I can't say I feel like the spectacle of cleanliness either -- I was finally happy this week that I cleaned up my apartment from the clutter and the overt messes, but still need to give it a good shakedown with the fine-tuning -- but I've seen some apartments of guy friends and it can be crazy, depending on the guy. (empty pizza boxes with pizza in them, plastic soda bottles used as spittoons, candy wrappers down the sofa cushions, sinkfuls of dirty dishes, etc.) 

Out of two of my sons, one typically has so much stuff on his floor (mostly clothes) that you can't see the floor. Not any of the floor. You can walk across the room without paying attention, without ever touching floor. Since it's his room, he's in charge of it, and he does do his laundry, but... wow. I'd go bugnuts in that environment.


----------



## MindBomb

Swede said:


> Do men secretly want their women to nag at them? Is it some annoying type of power play? It seems to me like pretty much all married women that I hang out with have the same problem; we have to ask our husbands the same things over and over. We are all intelligent individuals, so I really don't understand why it is like this. I bet that both wives & husbands are tired of it by now!
> Some (very simple) things I ask of my husband, I've asked him for 15 years now, I am not even kidding. Is he just waiting for me to break down and take care of his crap for him? Is he waiting for me to go crazy on his ass? Do all men want to marry a mother/secretary? A couple of threads I've read here on PerC have been kinda jaw dropping - for example this one man who was going through a breakup was 'not looking forward to taking care of all the mundane things on his own, like paying bills, etc'. Is this how men actually see their women - not so much as a partner as a clean-up crew of sorts?
> I don't get it and its a huge turn off. Sorry about the tone of bitterness, but I'm just tired of it. I seriously have enough to do (wow now I'm even nagging in this thread.. lol! Sorry!)


Unequivocally, no.

I was married for 15 years. Let me tell you, my ex-wife wasn't perfect in following through either. In fact, I would argue that I took care of more "joint" chores than she did. But you know what? I never once "nagged" her. I know I'm generalizing here, but guys typically just don't "nag"; they simply just get the shit done *if it needs to be done now*. And I rarely complained about it either. Wives, on the other hand, tend to get wrapped up in the little details that just are not that important. 

Like others have said, I will prioritize when I take care of things, given my other items on my list. It may not match your timeline, but that's not for you to decide for me. For example, my ex would nag me nearly every week to take the trash cans out to the curb, despite the fact that I never once forgot to take out the trash. Not once. Had I been known to take them out at 11pm at night? Yes. Have I even taken them out at 6am? Yes. But they were out before the trash trucks arrived. I've been divorced for five years...and guess what? Same track record.

Here's another example that happened to a friend of mine. He just finished cleaning the whole kitchen post-dinner. You know what his wife said to him? "You put the sponge on the wrong side of the sink." Not a thank you or recognition of help. No, it was a criticism of _how_ he did the task. And you wives wonder why we tune you out. Or have an aversion to your requests.

In regards to the safety things with children...sometimes for things to sink in, shit has to happen on his watch. I bet he now straps your daughter down. ;P I was heavily involved in raising my kids (more flexible schedule out of the two of us) and both of us had instances where we screwed up. It happens. 

Remember, you are not perfect either. Don't sweat the small stuff. Just because we do things differently, doesn't mean that it is wrong. Don't tell us what to do. I like the thought of joint lists where we get to help choose what we are responsible for...then we can negotiate at that point over what things are on "my list." Call us out on our bullshit *after* we screw up, but don't belabor the point nor hold it for future arguments. We get it...deal with it and move on. Lastly, if you see something that needs to get done and you're perfectly capable and able to do it, then just fucking do it without fanfare. Don't ask me to do it, especially if I'm busy with something.

(Disclaimer: This does not apply to lazy-ass, chauvinistic husbands who rarely lift a finger around the house.)


----------



## AriyaSacca

wiarumas said:


> I'm an ENTJ type 3 male.
> 
> Want to ask a guy anything- go ahead.


Ok, so relationship questions time! I recently went through a devastating breakup with an "ENTP". I ran my experience by other knowledgable ENTPs and they confirmed my ex was an ENTJ. While he was a brilliant man by my standards, he was also very rigid and controlling which would lead to bouts of volatile raging. I'm fairly new to MBTI, so I"m trying to make sense of what happened and how I could have approached him differently. In your opinion, what are key indicative differences between ENTP and ENTJ? Everything the ENTPs said about him, pegged him to a T as an ENTJ. Are ENTJs more prone to rigidity?

Also, to me fighting is a choice. To him, he just couldn't stop himself once he was on a "I'm right, everyone else is wrong." role. Also, at what point do you think its good to call it quits in a relationship? I want other people's opinions on this. I believe overcoming obstacles with someone brings you closer. 

Thoughts?


----------



## drmiller100

"rigid controlling ENTP." I think not.


----------



## 626Stitch

> Since it's his room, he's in charge of it, and he does do his laundry


OMFG you are like the coolest mum ever.


----------



## AriyaSacca

drmiller100 said:


> "rigid controlling ENTP." I think not.


Yes, very critical and unforgiving as well. He had to control everything in his environment even, when anything went against he perception he would get the volatility rolling for hours. I believe an ENTP would just move on from being upset sooner? 

Left me so disheartened and crushed to watch (and to be on the receiving of), but that level of rigidity is beyond my tools. Very much not ENTP behavior I"m learning. Thanks again DR! I wonder if some people just project what they "want to be" onto their MBTI type? What do you consider to be the most reliable MBTI testing online? I only use one trusted Enneagram resource as a result of too many random faulty tests out there.


----------



## ronrz567

why do mustaches grow so fast?


----------



## wiarumas

Amore said:


> why would a guy who is supposedly taken stares or show signs of "interests" but is actually not?


There is a difference between looking, being capable of getting someone if you wanted to vs actually going through with it. It's ego based.


----------



## wiarumas

ITHINKYOUREOVERTHINKING said:


> Are you still actively answering these questions?


Yes. Took some time off but I am resuming.


----------



## wiarumas

Powerhouse said:


> Is it normal to still hate my SO's exes, as well as my own ex, even though I feel self-assured and I know that none of them has the ability to hurt my relationship anymore?


Is it normal? Yes. 

Is it recommended or rational? No. 

Your brain seeks learning. Find the lesson to learn from these looping thoughts and move on.


----------



## wiarumas

DreamingSoul said:


> Sorry if this had already been in the post, but there are a lot of pages to go through!
> 
> What do men think about independent women? (live on her own, have a job, own a car, and pay her bills)
> But, the women doesn't mind having the man pay when they go out and do stuff.


It's not that I like independence, I just have a strong distaste for dependent people in general. I view them as toxic.


----------



## wiarumas

finically said:


> Any advice for a 20-y-old junior at an Ivy-League school who jumped into an economics major at the end of sophomore year, is rusty at math, and needs to create an effective attack plan to bring her skills up to scratch?


Focus on landing internships every summer until graduation. The experience is interview fodder and will provide more meaningful talking points to land a job post graduation. Math skills and gpa is secondary to actual job performance.


----------



## wiarumas

Accidie said:


> For some reason I hear this a lot. When you guys say you want a blowjob for your birthday, would you seriously accept just a blowjob and be cool with it? I'm serious. Because that's the easiest present ever. I want to add a card on top of it just so I don't feel like a tightwad.


Yes I would. 

Cards are crap. I personally despise them. 

I rather get a handjob without an orgasm than get a card.


----------



## wiarumas

Swede said:


> Do men secretly want their women to nag at them? Is it some annoying type of power play? It seems to me like pretty much all married women that I hang out with have the same problem; we have to ask our husbands the same things over and over. We are all intelligent individuals, so I really don't understand why it is like this. I bet that both wives & husbands are tired of it by now!
> Some (very simple) things I ask of my husband, I've asked him for 15 years now, I am not even kidding. Is he just waiting for me to break down and take care of his crap for him? Is he waiting for me to go crazy on his ass? Do all men want to marry a mother/secretary? A couple of threads I've read here on PerC have been kinda jaw dropping - for example this one man who was going through a breakup was 'not looking forward to taking care of all the mundane things on his own, like paying bills, etc'. Is this how men actually see their women - not so much as a partner as a clean-up crew of sorts?
> I don't get it and its a huge turn off. Sorry about the tone of bitterness, but I'm just tired of it. I seriously have enough to do (wow now I'm even nagging in this thread.. lol! Sorry!)


No. I hate nagging. It almost always resorts to fights because I'm not the type to keep my mouth shut and slowly die inside from bitter resentment. I will speak my mind why the nagging is not appreciated nor constructive. 

And I take care of everything on my own. The only house chore I don't do (well) is laundry. So no, my wife isn't considered a clean up crew.


----------



## wiarumas

Bago said:


> Have you ever fought for your other half ? If so, what did you do, and how did you fight to protect them ?


No, I don't get myself into situations where I have to fight. Nor does my wife need protection. She can handle her own.


----------



## wiarumas

AriyaSacca said:


> Ok, so relationship questions time! I recently went through a devastating breakup with an "ENTP". I ran my experience by other knowledgable ENTPs and they confirmed my ex was an ENTJ. While he was a brilliant man by my standards, he was also very rigid and controlling which would lead to bouts of volatile raging. I'm fairly new to MBTI, so I"m trying to make sense of what happened and how I could have approached him differently. In your opinion, what are key indicative differences between ENTP and ENTJ? Everything the ENTPs said about him, pegged him to a T as an ENTJ. Are ENTJs more prone to rigidity?
> 
> Also, to me fighting is a choice. To him, he just couldn't stop himself once he was on a "I'm right, everyone else is wrong." role. Also, at what point do you think its good to call it quits in a relationship? I want other people's opinions on this. I believe overcoming obstacles with someone brings you closer.
> 
> Thoughts?


Key difference is that ENTPs are in love with ideas and ENTJs are in love with results. I wouldn't say ENTJs are as rigid as they are stubborn. The xSTJs being more rigid thanks to their Si. I find the best way to approach an ENTJ with an I'm right attitude is to deconstruct their facts and cast doubt in their "bulletproof" logic. Once a perspective doesn't seem so absolute, an ENTJ will have no issue abandoning it for a new perspective. By saying an ENTJ is wrong is a sure fire way to cast them into what appears to be a rage but is most likely an overly confident and passionate testimonial why they are right. An ENTJ is never wrong, just sometimes mistaken of the situation .

The point in which I quit on a relationship is when I realize the relationship will inevitably end.


----------



## wiarumas

AriyaSacca said:


> Yes, very critical and unforgiving as well. He had to control everything in his environment even, when anything went against he perception he would get the volatility rolling for hours. I believe an ENTP would just move on from being upset sooner?
> 
> Left me so disheartened and crushed to watch (and to be on the receiving of), but that level of rigidity is beyond my tools. Very much not ENTP behavior I"m learning. Thanks again DR! I wonder if some people just project what they "want to be" onto their MBTI type? What do you consider to be the most reliable MBTI testing online? I only use one trusted Enneagram resource as a result of too many random faulty tests out there.


Also I find ENTJs to not be concerned over the small stuff. We are not detail oriented people. It's more big picture. If it doesn't impact the end goal, I don't sweat the small stuff. That level of control, to me, seems to be more Si oriented. ENTJs from my experience can sometimes even neglect routine and their immediate environment for long term goals.


----------



## wiarumas

ronrz567 said:


> why do mustaches grow so fast?


I think it's just relative because it doesn't take much facial hair to look significant in contrast to the rate of hair growth vs noticeability on top of your head. I'm pretty sure bald people have to shave their heads just as often as their face.


----------



## ronrz567

do straight men feel stimulated when they swallow a banana/carrot?


----------



## drmiller100

ronrz567 said:


> do straight men feel stimulated when they swallow a banana/carrot?


I do not.


----------



## ronrz567

If only an extremely small minority of women prefer small penises, why did nature not choose to just eradicate the minority of women that think so and then make all the men with small penises die out? Won't the living society be happier that way?


----------



## Swede

ronrz567 said:


> If only an extremely small minority of women prefer small penises, why did nature not choose to just eradicate the minority of women that think so and then make all the men with small penises die out? Won't the living society be happier that way?


Ahem... Sorry, I'm not a man, but the question is kinda' of an 'ask a woman', so if I may...?

A) So, contrary to some beliefs, most women fall in love and have children with a man, not with a penis.
B) I'm also thinking that vaginas come in different sizes, it's just harder to compare by a quick side glance in the shower.
C) Size can't make up for technique (and sometimes shape).
D) It is more comfortable having sex with someone who is 'too small' rather than 'too big'.
E) Porn is not real. (Just throwing that in here.). Most men don't look like men in porn, which is good, because most women would probably prefer to stay away from what they have between their legs...

Just my 2 cents!


----------



## carlaviii

"Prefer" isn't as strong a selective force as "must." Guys with small penises can make babies just fine, given the chance. 

And variety is a good thing, both in sizes and in preferences. Evolution isn't worried about a happy society.


----------



## Arjan

Swede said:


> E) Porn is not real.


You have just ruined some perfectly happy people, including me.


----------



## Swede

Arjan said:


> You have just ruined some perfectly happy people, including me.


I'm so sorry! :sad:

I just cross my fingers and hope that one day, in a far future, you'll find the strength to move on. It the meantime, stick to alternatives, like ....let's say ...Hallmark movies. (But be warned that most of them are not realistic either!)
:wink:


----------



## android654

Swede said:


> I'm so sorry! :sad:
> 
> I just cross my fingers and hope that one day, in a far future, you'll find the strength to move on. It the meantime, stick to alternatives, like ....let's say ...Hallmark movies. (But be warned that most of them are not realistic either!)
> :wink:


I wonder which is worse: a false sense and interpretation of emotions and relationship-related expectations, or sex and the entanglements therein.


----------



## Swede

android654 said:


> I wonder which is worse: a false sense and interpretation of emotions and relationship-related expectations, or sex and the entanglements therein.


Maybe we can have @Arjan do a side-to-side comparison and report back to us...?
;-)

(Liked that you picked the word "entanglement" btw, nice! lol)


----------



## Arjan

I would need a volunteer. Any such research would need to start out minimising any bias.


----------



## wiarumas

ronrz567 said:


> do straight men feel stimulated when they swallow a banana/carrot?


No.


----------



## wiarumas

ronrz567 said:


> If only an extremely small minority of women prefer small penises, why did nature not choose to just eradicate the minority of women that think so and then make all the men with small penises die out? Won't the living society be happier that way?


Penis size is more aesthetic than related to impregnation and survival. Evolution doesn't care about superficiality. It's cares about biological function.


----------



## Madders

How important is sex to a male in a relationship, on a scale of 1 to 10? I'm curious if the "all men care about is sex" thing is true or just out of proportion.


----------



## drmiller100

Madders said:


> How important is sex to a male in a relationship, on a scale of 1 to 10? I'm curious if the "all men care about is sex" thing is true or just out of proportion.


I was married, and the last 10 years we had sex about once every 7 weeks. The marriage truly sucked for other reasons.

This time I have a list of things, including intelligence, Fe, kindness, weighs less than I, and likes sex.


----------



## ronrz567

Madders said:


> How important is sex to a male in a relationship, on a scale of 1 to 10? I'm curious if the "all men care about is sex" thing is true or just out of proportion.


I'd say hanging out is what is really important with the relationship, not really the baby-making itself. Most important of all I'd say feeling accepted is really the main thing sought after in one.


----------



## ronrz567

Is there any way to prevent the hair on the head from getting longer? I'd like to never need a haircut again.


----------



## drmiller100

ronrz567 said:


> Is there any way to prevent the hair on the head from getting longer? I'd like to never need a haircut again.


burn it all off with gasoline.


----------



## ronrz567

drmiller100 said:


> burn it all off with gasoline.


I'll be bald someday, don't worry.

edit: might be.


----------



## wiarumas

Madders said:


> How important is sex to a male in a relationship, on a scale of 1 to 10? I'm curious if the "all men care about is sex" thing is true or just out of proportion.


For me, it's in my top 3 with an importance of somewhere around 8-10 out of 10. Bad sex life is a deal breaker and would make me reconsider the relationship.


----------



## wiarumas

ronrz567 said:


> Is there any way to prevent the hair on the head from getting longer? I'd like to never need a haircut again.


Not yet.


----------



## Enfpleasantly

Has this thread turned into a pain in the ass to maintain?


----------



## wiarumas

Enfpleasantly said:


> Has this thread turned into a pain in the ass to maintain?


No bigger a pain than posting replies to the site in general. Here everything I respond to is nicely consolidated at least.


----------



## register

Do you like cats? 

Given the title of the thread, Do you think your opinion is representative of men at large or representative of just you or somewhere in the middle? Given how long it seems to be, what do you feel is the greatest value it has provided?

Isnt it uncomfortable when the "wiggly bits" are just hanging around in boxers, as opposed to being tucked away nicely in briefs-or is it visa versa?


----------



## wiarumas

In quote



register said:


> Do you like cats?
> 
> *I don't like or dislike them. They are okay. Depends on the temperament. I've had good ones and bad ones. I do enjoy the low maintenance of cats vs the constant care for dogs (can't even leave for the weekend without getting a sitter), but at this point in my life I rather have no pets at all.*
> 
> Given the title of the thread, Do you think your opinion is representative of men at large or representative of just you or somewhere in the middle? Given how long it seems to be, what do you feel is the greatest value it has provided?
> 
> *Its a thread to solicit a variety of responses from various men. I'll let others draw the conclusions of popular opinion based upon the answers.
> 
> The greatest value is the knowledge it has provided to those that learned something from it. And possibly a thousand posts or so to my account haha. *
> 
> Isnt it uncomfortable when the "wiggly bits" are just hanging around in boxers, as opposed to being tucked away nicely in briefs-or is it visa versa?
> 
> *The hang is natural and comfortable. Tucking it away feels constricting and cramped, especially if you start to get any blood flow to the area. *


----------



## petite libellule

would you rather read a book about 'safety' concerns regarding activities you would like to embark on? 
OR, would you rather learn more from a persons personal experience ?

would you rather read a book of a more "collection" of perspectives on a sketchy topic of interest?
or would you rather it be a book from the first/third persons perspective ?

no specifics. just answer the question best you can if you'd like to. :kitteh: thank you!


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> would you rather read a book about 'safety' concerns regarding activities you would like to embark on?
> OR, would you rather learn more from a persons personal experience ?


My entire life I've been more interested in what people have to say about what they have done than an instruction guide on what to do. People, especially people older than myself, have a way of dissecting information in a way that communicates more effectively and honestly than a pamphlet could. Personal experience will always be of greater value to me than a robotic observation of do's and don't's. It is also the trick to being a good teacher, I have observed.



> would you rather read a book of a more "collection" of perspectives on a sketchy topic of interest?
> or would you rather it be a book from the first/third persons perspective ?
> 
> no specifics. just answer the question best you can if you'd like to. :kitteh: thank you!


I think a good comparison is The Story of O and Necrophilia Variations.

O is a great story that's written from the perspective of a woman who--depending on who's account you choose to believe--lived through something and expanded upon it in novel format. You learn a lot, not just about concepts behind BDSM, but relationships in general. However, Necrophilia Variations is the better read because it's a kaleidoscope of perspectives covering lots of different kinds of sex and relationships. A group of perspectives versus and individual will always come off as the more appealing because of the variety, but the individual's story has the ability to delve deeper into the micro-mechanics of their functions.


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> would you rather read a book about 'safety' concerns regarding activities you would like to embark on?
> OR, would you rather learn more from a persons personal experience ?
> 
> *neither... Or maybe a little of both. Books like that typically bury the relevant information with excruciating detail and typically come from the perspective that the reader is barely literate. People have a tendency to be bias. But if I read a bit beforehand, I could ask the right questions to get the right information, or listen to what a person has to say and then delve deeper with some literature. *
> 
> would you rather read a book of a more "collection" of perspectives on a sketchy topic of interest?
> or would you rather it be a book from the first/third persons perspective ?
> 
> *isn't a book of perspectives basically the same as first/third person but with more variety? I would definitely prefer that to get different angles of the same topic so I could form my own perspective from that data provided. A single person is prone to bias and doesn't give the full picture.
> *
> 
> no specifics. just answer the question best you can if you'd like to. :kitteh: thank you!


In quote.


----------



## WildImagineer

Ningsta Kitty said:


> I'm switching my question for the sake of brevity.
> 
> how does a female generate sex appeal ?
> 
> Like, what IS sex appeal anyways ?
> 
> do you have to dress sexy? or be super fit and sexy? or do you have to talk dirty ?
> 
> What does sex appeal look like ?


Tight clothing that accentuates the features (curves, round butt, boobs, etc.) and brings to life the imagination is how I would say a women could generate sex appeal. Skin that just appears soft makes me want to feel your skin.


----------



## drmiller100

WildImagineer said:


> Tight clothing that accentuates the features (curves, round butt, boobs, etc.) and brings to life the imagination is how I would say a women could generate sex appeal. Skin that just appears soft makes me want to feel your skin.


I am not visual as much as most.

a smile is oh so sexy.
a woman who is smiling, looks me in the eyes. And does not look away.

sigh.....


----------



## He's a Superhero!

wiarumas said:


> If they are angry at me for trespassing, I would proceed to leave their "territory" and deesculate the situation.
> 
> Trespassing is a trivial thing to be angry about, and even organized crime knows any unnecessary action calls for unwanted attention.


Yes, but trivial has hardly stopped people from getting angry about stuff.

What if your friend froze out of fear and couldn't just leave with you?


----------



## android654

He's a Superhero! said:


> Yes, but trivial has hardly stopped people from getting angry about stuff.
> 
> What if your friend froze out of fear and couldn't just leave with you?


Have you ever been threatened with violence? Like a gun to your face or a knife at your gut? Freezing is highly rare. More often than not, the body takes over and people either start swinging or start running when really in fear for their lives.


----------



## Ice_Queen

What is your take on polyamorous relationships? I'm at a time in my life where I think I've just started to like men sexually, but not absolutely sure. I was only sexually attracted to women all my life, until about a year or so ago. I have been in heterosexual relationships in the past, including marriage, but that was just for the companionship (and maybe for convenience). I want to know what it's like to be with a man and _actually_ want to have sex with him, without thinking about being with a woman throughout the entire time. 

And another thing is.... I have been thinking for the past year or so that I'm actually going straight, since all I have been able to fantasize about are certain men that I've been having contact with recently. And what's adding to all this is that I'm starting to think about women sexually again, too. Plus, my feeling that I need to have family is only getting stronger and stronger as time goes by. What to do, what to do... So, I've just thought about the idea of a polyamorous relationship. It sounds like a good idea, fulfilling my need to be with a man, a woman and to have a sense of family that I'm longing for. What do you think? Does it sound like it wouldn't be such a great idea? What could go wrong? Pros and Cons? 

These questions do not just apply to the OP. I'd like to hear everyone's take on this.


----------



## petite libellule

Why do people confuse intense feelings with intuition ?

Do you think that most people know themselves to distinguish the two ?

Why do people make choices based on feelings instead of trusting their intuition ?

Why do I love people so much yet they frustrate and piss me off to know end ?

Will this love hate dynamic with humanity ever end ?

What if I stuck a pen in my eye or a pencil in my ear, which do you think would hurt more ?


----------



## He's a Superhero!

android654 said:


> Have you ever been threatened with violence? Like a gun to your face or a knife at your gut? Freezing is highly rare. More often than not, the body takes over and people either start swinging or start running when really in fear for their lives.


Just let him humour me in this particular scenario.


----------



## Dashing

Swede said:


> Stupid question - I apologize in advance:
> How is it possible to pee with an erection? I don't really get how that could work...
> :blushed:


There's some acrobatics involved...


----------



## He's a Superhero!

Ice_Queen said:


> What is your take on polyamorous relationships? I'm at a time in my life where I think I've just started to like men sexually, but not absolutely sure. I was only sexually attracted to women all my life, until about a year or so ago. I have been in heterosexual relationships in the past, including marriage, but that was just for the companionship (and maybe for convenience). I want to know what it's like to be with a man and _actually_ want to have sex with him, without thinking about being with a woman throughout the entire time.
> 
> And another thing is.... I have been thinking for the past year or so that I'm actually going straight, since all I have been able to fantasize about are certain men that I've been having contact with recently. And what's adding to all this is that I'm starting to think about women sexually again, too. Plus, my feeling that I need to have family is only getting stronger and stronger as time goes by. What to do, what to do... So, I've just thought about the idea of a polyamorous relationship. It sounds like a good idea, fulfilling my need to be with a man, a woman and to have a sense of family that I'm longing for. What do you think? Does it sound like it wouldn't be such a great idea? What could go wrong? Pros and Cons?
> 
> These questions do not just apply to the OP. I'd like to hear everyone's take on this.


This doesn't sound like an easy situation to be in.

Ok, advice...Well men also don't like it when their woman is sleeping with someone else, so if you're in a serious relationship with a man it wouldn't be fair on him if you weren't being faithful to him, just like it wouldn't be fair on you if he went and slept with others...I know there are rare cases where the man is completely ok with it, but in general this is how it is.
On a side note, if you're going straight then there is the bonus that you will be escaping a lot of discrimination, and it'll be easier for you to get children (if you want children).
- Let's take a look into the future in regards to children, just in case if you plan to have them anyway: For children you also have to think about their need for both gender role models, so if you are going into a same-sex relationship and plan to have children you need to think about how your children will have a stable male role model (for girls and boys!), which may prove difficult. You'd need to find someone who you can trust, and that's no easy task unfortunately.

I hope that all makes sense, and good luck!


----------



## Antipode

drmiller100 said:


> I am not visual as much as most.
> 
> a smile is oh so sexy.
> a woman who is smiling, looks me in the eyes. And does not look away.
> 
> sigh.....


Doesn't one have to be visual to even know if someone is smiling or looking at them with eyes?


----------



## He's a Superhero!

@*Dashing,*
 "Laat maar vallen want het komt er toch wel van, het geeft niet of je rent."

Hoi. Wat bedoel je? ​


----------



## android654

Ice_Queen said:


> What is your take on polyamorous relationships? I'm at a time in my life where I think I've just started to like men sexually, but not absolutely sure. I was only sexually attracted to women all my life, until about a year or so ago. I have been in heterosexual relationships in the past, including marriage, but that was just for the companionship (and maybe for convenience). I want to know what it's like to be with a man and _actually_ want to have sex with him, without thinking about being with a woman throughout the entire time.


I'm not entirely sure how those two things are dependent upon one another...

Polyamory, to me, just seems... _messy._ There seems to be just too much room for deception, mistrust, convolution, disconnection, and lack of fulfillment. Developing a deep relationship with one person is such a trial on its own that having to do that with 3 or 4 people just looks like madness to me.

If you find yourself thinking about something a great deal, I think that's simply your brain's way of telling you to explore that area. There's really no need for convolution.



> And another thing is.... I have been thinking for the past year or so that I'm actually going straight, since all I have been able to fantasize about are certain men that I've been having contact with recently. And what's adding to all this is that I'm starting to think about women sexually again, too. Plus, my feeling that I need to have family is only getting stronger and stronger as time goes by. What to do, what to do... So, I've just thought about the idea of a polyamorous relationship. It sounds like a good idea, fulfilling my need to be with a man, a woman and to have a sense of family that I'm longing for. What do you think? Does it sound like it wouldn't be such a great idea? What could go wrong? Pros and Cons?


If you've got the constitution for that sort of thing I'd say go for it. Life is too short to waste time on wondering. Experiencing something and liking it or rejecting it takes less time and effort than fantasizing about something and not doing it.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Why do people confuse intense feelings with intuition ?


Most people are dullards and have no sense of their emotional compass, how it functions, or where it points. Also, sometimes, emotions do fuel our intuition.



> Do you think that most people know themselves to distinguish the two ?


Few people have a strong sense of who they are, even if most people claim the opposite.



> Why do people make choices based on feelings instead of trusting their intuition ?


To the unlearned, in matters concerning emotion and introspection, emotions are simply louder and intuition drowns out underneath it.



> Why do I love people so much yet they frustrate and piss me off to know end ?


Because you're a unicorn and can't help to see the better parts in people. You should learn to be a bastard, like me! Then all you'll care about are the people that matter, not everyone.



> Will this love hate dynamic with humanity ever end ?


It's either that or we go back to jungle warfare with tomahawks and bows and arrows. Personally I think this is a bit better, but nothing is designed to last forever. Eventually it'll all go to shit. Enjoy the ride while it's here.



> What if I stuck a pen in my eye or a pencil in my ear, which do you think would hurt more ?


Just like sex--it depends how deep it goes and what it hits.


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> Just like sex--it depends how deep it goes and what it hits.


wow I thoroughly enjoyed that laugh. thank you. that was good. :laughing:


Ugh. I DO need to learn to be a bastard. I just had a 20 yr old irk me to no end because he keeps waving his man pussy about calling women evil when they aren't "easy" and complaining about the women who are. WTF. I hate caring till the point of wanting to punch someone in the face. honestly now.

I need some apathy snacks, ASAP! 

btw. that is weird you say emotions drown out the intuition or however you phrased that. For me, it's totally the opposite, and I get lonely-like inside myself constantly trying to reach beyond the intuition to get to my feelings. It's super weird.  of course I won't care after my apathy snack so it's a moot point.


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> wow I thoroughly enjoyed that laugh. thank you. that was good. :laughing:
> 
> 
> Ugh. I DO need to learn to be a bastard. I just had a 20 yr old irk me to no end because he keeps waving his man pussy about calling women evil when they aren't "easy" and complaining about the women who are. WTF. I hate caring till the point of wanting to punch someone in the face. honestly now.
> 
> I need some apathy snacks, ASAP!


You know what I like to do every now and again? Pick people to hate. Like when you're standing on a line somewhere or in a waiting room of some kind, just pick somebody to hate and come up with the goofiest and most insulting thing you can about them. It's not only hilarious, but it makes you realize how ridiculous it is to take everything everyone does seriously.



> btw. that is weird you say emotions drown out the intuition or however you phrased that. For me, it's totally the opposite, and I get lonely-like inside myself constantly trying to reach beyond the intuition to get to my feelings. It's super weird.  of course I won't care after my apathy snack so it's a moot point.


I think this might be a Pness issue. At least that's what I've gleamed from my time here. Over years I've learned to hide it well, but my "gut's" first language is emotion based, then intuition and reason kicks in. Took a while to figure out how to ignore one and listen more to the other.


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> You know what I like to do every now and again? Pick people to hate. Like when you're standing on a line somewhere or in a waiting room of some kind, just pick somebody to hate and come up with the goofiest and most insulting thing you can about them. It's not only hilarious, but it makes you realize how ridiculous it is to take everything everyone does seriously.


Lol! I do that too but more to be happy rather than to hate. 

That in particular person irked me over time. I just couldn't take it anymore type of thing. He's made a point perpetually to tell me what an awful woman he thinks I am and I haven't given a shit about his opinion. It was just one of those moments when I was like, "OH. It's YOU again. And I'm NOT able to punch you in the face via evil glare" ... and I don't know. I'm frustrated and crazy stressed so I took it to heart and lashed out like a total bitch.  I do that sometimes. 


:tongue:


----------



## android654

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Lol! I do that too but more to be happy rather than to hate.
> 
> That in particular person irked me over time. I just couldn't take it anymore type of thing. He's made a point perpetually to tell me what an awful woman he thinks I am and I haven't given a shit about his opinion. It was just one of those moments when I was like, "OH. It's YOU again. And I'm NOT able to punch you in the face via evil glare" ... and I don't know. I'm frustrated and crazy stressed so I took it to heart and lashed out like a total bitch.  I do that sometimes.
> 
> 
> :tongue:


The next time you're on a line you're going to want to hate the guy in front of you. You'll start judging his stupid Cubs t-shirt and his mismatched socks. You'll develop a whole scenario where he's actually blind as his wife hates him so much she dresses him ridiculous on person. Trust me, it'll be fun.

Everyone deserves a bitch-fit every now and again, especially when someone rattles the cage too much.


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> Everyone deserves a bitch-fit every now and again, especially when someone rattles the cage too much.


thank you. It's been rattled by a few lately and I suppose it's been a little much. 

ftr, I do that "in line" thing all the time. Just that I can't really conjure up hateful feelings. Rather, I get super excited and happy creating little make believe scenarios about them that would make them someone to be hated or giggled at.  I even narrate people talking across the room sometimes. the worst, is that I even narrate my I-Phone emoticons. I even tried to get someone to play that game with me once. sadly, I end up just entertaining myself and haven't anywhere for my "happy" to go. It's all bottled up and too intense. ugh ...


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Would you rather spend 24 hours with a room full of cancer patients, all looking miserable and reeking of death, but it's their birthday so factor that in too. OR. Would you rather be stuck in a room full of babies crying, occasional diaper yuck. ?


Babies crying. Babies at least cry for basic simple needs. I'm sure those old people will be whining about something or playing that give me sympathy card. 

Babies don't know deceit until ~6 months or so. So if they are crying there is only a handful of things you need to do to get them to stop. Even if a baby cries seemingly for no reason, there typically is something related to digestion or even something as simple as an adult hair somewhere on their body bothering them.


----------



## wiarumas

He's a Superhero! said:


> Yes, but trivial has hardly stopped people from getting angry about stuff.
> 
> What if your friend froze out of fear and couldn't just leave with you?


I would ask him if he really wanted to stay there. If not, I'd leave with him. If so, I would respect his choice to freeze as an angry gang slowly approaches and leave him.


----------



## wiarumas

Ice_Queen said:


> What is your take on polyamorous relationships? I'm at a time in my life where I think I've just started to like men sexually, but not absolutely sure. I was only sexually attracted to women all my life, until about a year or so ago. I have been in heterosexual relationships in the past, including marriage, but that was just for the companionship (and maybe for convenience). I want to know what it's like to be with a man and _actually_ want to have sex with him, without thinking about being with a woman throughout the entire time.
> 
> And another thing is.... I have been thinking for the past year or so that I'm actually going straight, since all I have been able to fantasize about are certain men that I've been having contact with recently. And what's adding to all this is that I'm starting to think about women sexually again, too. Plus, my feeling that I need to have family is only getting stronger and stronger as time goes by. What to do, what to do... So, I've just thought about the idea of a polyamorous relationship. It sounds like a good idea, fulfilling my need to be with a man, a woman and to have a sense of family that I'm longing for. What do you think? Does it sound like it wouldn't be such a great idea? What could go wrong? Pros and Cons?
> 
> These questions do not just apply to the OP. I'd like to hear everyone's take on this.


I think the more components and complexities to a system, the more fragile it becomes. 

For something like a polyamorous relationship, the complexities of social dynamics would make it difficult to maintain and last. This doesn't mean it's destined to fail, but takes certain type of people to make it last. Not everyone is capable of carrying on a relationship like that.

Since its what interests you, I would pursue it strictly from an experimental mentality and with the expectation that it has a probability of not working out.


----------



## VioletIris

Men, Would you get your chest and abdomen waxed?


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Why do people confuse intense feelings with intuition ?
> 
> *both are abstractions not based fully in the concrete. *
> 
> Do you think that most people know themselves to distinguish the two ?
> 
> *I think most people aren't even aware what intuition is let alone capable of distinguishing what constitutes intuition vs feeling. *
> 
> Why do people make choices based on feelings instead of trusting their intuition ?
> 
> *it's the way they are programmed. This is fundamentally what mbti highlights. We are all different, interpret, and conclude different things just by the way our minds work. For example, I personally think feelings nor intuition should be trusted to make choices. Also, I would argue that there is no best way, or that best is subjective because people who value feelings over intuition or intuition over thinking all have different expectations.*
> 
> Why do I love people so much yet they frustrate and piss me off to know end ?
> 
> *I wouldn't take expectations of others personally. You can't control the results of others, only influence them. I would focus on what you can do, what you do influence, or responsible for and judge yourself by your actions alone. The rest is up to them. *
> 
> Will this love hate dynamic with humanity ever end ?
> 
> *since you are unlikely to personally influence humanity as a whole, I would think it won't unless you personally change whatever perspective that bothers you. *
> 
> What if I stuck a pen in my eye or a pencil in my ear, which do you think would hurt more ?
> 
> *I believe the eye because of the amount of nerves and proximity to the brain. *


In quote.


----------



## wiarumas

WamphyriThrall said:


> How can I tell an ENTJ male in a crowd over, say, an ENTP, INTJ, or ESTJ?
> 
> Actually, it doesn't even have to be in a crowd, nor a male.


I would argue it would be hard to tell in a crowd, or even a more intimate setting. I think this is one point where mbti breaks down or at least, people rely on it too heavily to make quick easy assessments on others. All people exhibit every function but it takes time to sort out what functions percolate to the top. People often mistype themselves even with extraordinary knowledge of their own habits, so typing the guy down the hallway after a 30 second conversation is borderline impossible. 

To answer your question, I would hone in the negatives rather the positives. A person who shows disdain for organization, planning, etc most likely doesn't have Te. The person who shows little to no interest in others emotionally is probably not Fe. Etc. 

If I had to guess, and without confidence for the reasons above and relying on stereotypes, the ENTP would be the idea guy without the ability or care to fully carry out the idea. The ideas en masse are the gems and are in no short supply. The ENTJ would be the big picture man of action without the capacity to notice or care over details which he/deems insignificant (even though they often are) as long as the end result occurs. The INTJ would be the mastermind behind the plan, caring more for the engineering of the plan, it's mechanics, the plan as a work of art in contrast to the ENTJs interest in the actual implementation and results (who view plans as disposable, intangible guides whose only purpose is to achieve an end product). The ESTJ being the most conservative of the bunch, opting for preservation and being hesitant to the other 3s march towards the unknown, destroying to rebuild.


----------



## wiarumas

VioletIris said:


> Men, Would you get your chest and abdomen waxed?
> View attachment 85361


Depends on how often, how much, and what the result would be. Would my gf/wife find me more attractive? Then is that worth the trouble, time, pain, and monetary cost of getting it done. 

Fortunately, I have no chest and abdominal hair.


----------



## searcheagle

VioletIris said:


> Men, Would you get your chest and abdomen waxed?
> View attachment 85361


Nope, my girl likes my chest hair.


----------



## He's a Superhero!

wiarumas said:


> I would ask him if he really wanted to stay there. If not, I'd leave with him. If so, I would respect his choice to freeze as an angry gang slowly approaches and leave him.


What makes you think he would want to stay there? And how would you have him leave with you if he is frozen? Maybe you carry him?


----------



## He's a Superhero!

VioletIris said:


> Men, Would you get your chest and abdomen waxed?
> View attachment 85361


Hell no! Keeps me warm..

Besides, I'm not metro (no offence to metros).


----------



## phony

Have you ever had an orgasm from prostate stimulation? If so, how different does it feel from a "regular" orgasm?


----------



## drmiller100

To sort people in a crowd, S vs n first.
Then Fe vs Fi.

By then the f vs t is obvious. What are you looking for in the crowd????


----------



## wiarumas

He's a Superhero! said:


> What makes you think he would want to stay there? And how would you have him leave with you if he is frozen? Maybe you carry him?


I said, I would flat out ask him if he is staying or leaving. 

I gave him plenty of opportunity. Sounds like he's choosing not to save himself. Survival instinct wouldn't freeze people like that. Save for comedies:






Probably would deserve it at that point.


----------



## wiarumas

phony said:


> Have you ever had an orgasm from prostate stimulation? If so, how different does it feel from a "regular" orgasm?


I've never had anything stimulate my prostate. Not that I'm against it, I just never been in that role. As a person who takes charge in the bedroom, I would have to personally request them to do that. And honestly it's just not that appealing to be curious about and go that route.


----------



## He's a Superhero!

wiarumas said:


> I said, I would flat out ask him if he is staying or leaving.
> 
> I gave him plenty of opportunity. Sounds like he's choosing not to save himself. Survival instinct wouldn't freeze people like that. Save for comedies:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Probably would deserve it at that point.


Ha ha, nice one!

There are rare cases of freezing and inability to move though, in all seriousness.


----------



## Noctis

VioletIris said:


> Men, Would you get your chest and abdomen waxed?
> View attachment 85361


Hell no


----------



## VioletIris

> Men, Would you get your chest and abdomen waxed?Attachment 85361


OK, thanks for the answers. My husband would not, but he doesn't need to, only has a little chest hair, and the abdominal line of hair (also known as the "snail" in the beauty shops who perform the men's waxings), and that's a look I like. I guess there is a good mix of guys here, one would if their partner liked it, some wouldn't. I personally don't like male fuzzy wuzzy bears covered front and back with dark hair, but if the guy I really loved happened to have body hair like that, I don't think it would be a deal breaker -- but might encourage him to at least remove the back hair, that's not appealing at all.


----------



## ronrz567

"_Men, Would you get your chest and abdomen waxed?."

Well it looks good but it's too troublesome since it grows back in like a week_


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Why do some men complain about getting no blow jobs/sex but when they receive them, they call the women 'sluts'? I've never understood that.


----------



## wiarumas

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Why do some men complain about getting no blow jobs/sex but when they receive them, they call the women 'sluts'? I've never understood that.


This is false logic, or at the very least its correlation, not causation. In other words, if you give a man a blowjob or have sex with him, he does not refer to you as a slut from that point forward (if he does I question that woman's choice in men or the manner/scenario of sex or blowjob). There is more likely another reason he would say such a thing and you are falsely attributing this to giving him a blow job or sex.


----------



## Wellsy

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Why do some men complain about getting no blow jobs/sex but when they receive them, they call the women 'sluts'? I've never understood that.


Not sure. A u realistic set of values towards sex that relate to that madona whore complex where womens identity is removed from their sexual side. I always think of lenny bruce on a skit about a man being attracted to a woman with her cleavage hanging out and how attractive she was but he wouldnt let his wife dress that way, if she did he'd punch her lights out. Its divorced from reality but is a cultural influence of expectations of the sexes. It is absurd that one would want to insult someone willing to even do such things with them.

Overall I think you already know why it happens but perhaps still shocked that there are people who still maintain this kind of prrspective.


----------



## android654

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Why do some men complain about getting no blow jobs/sex but when they receive them, they call the women 'sluts'? I've never understood that.


For some guys, sex is about trophy hunting. They're more interested in notches and varied partners than anything else. So, to them, it's a game, and in this game they win and whoever's sucking their dick is the loser, or in this case, sluts.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

android654 said:


> For some guys, sex is about trophy hunting. They're more interested in notches and varied partners than anything else. So, to them, it's a game, and in this game they win and whoever's sucking their dick is the loser, or in this case, sluts.


That's really depressing to read but thank you for answering.


----------



## wiarumas

in quote 



Ningsta Kitty said:


> Springing from another thread. Thoughts/questions :
> 
> 1) do you lead with your heart or with your logic in relationship? While both are necessary, which supersedes the other and why?
> 
> *I lead with logic. Obviously. I wouldn't even say my heart has much input at all, let alone leading. Where my heart does come into play is that my logic has to play by the rules set forth by my heart. Its a filter for my decisions. I cannot make logical decisions that defy my own personal values. *
> 
> 2) do you prefer to be emotionally supportive for your partner or protective(in a non psycho way of course ) which do you think is the more common style for men to take, generally speaking.
> 
> *I provide very little emotional support. I will stomp all over a person seeking reassurance. Its fundamentally something that I do not need or seek out, so when a person comes to me looking for it, I don't know how to provide it. I go straight past the emotional coddling and straight to the source of the problem. I guess you can say its protective because it addresses the root problem so it no longer causes any future emotional trauma. I just won't address or even acknowledge the present emotional state, which are basically symptoms of a original issue. I figure if I address the root problem, the symptoms go away.
> 
> This video pretty much sums things up for me. Kudos for him for being so patient because I would have insisted its the nail and maybe even preemptively removed it to show her that I was in fact right and life is better without it. *
> It's Not About The Nail - YouTube
> 
> 3) how much of a turn off is intense enthusiasm, optimistic or silly ? When is it 'too much' ?
> 
> *There is a time and place. Despite my serious attitude, I prefer a woman with enthusiasm, optimism, silliness and passion. More so than not. I think if we need to buckle down and get serious, I need a partner that can determine that and get down to business. But the rest of the time, I can appreciate and even vicariously experience their level of passion.*
> 
> 4) Have you ever felt strongly enough about a person that you couldn't imagine not knowing them ? What's that like from a mans perspective. What do you do with that? Do you just avoid the feeling?
> 
> *No. I don't think I avoid it, I just don't think its ever even occurred for me. If I never knew a person, I wouldn't know what I was missing. Nor do I think I gain anything that significant from other people to feel incomplete without them. I am kind of independent and stand on my own not to mention that I don't think people are as unique as they think they are. If I miss something from someone, chances are somebody else can provide whatever it is that they bring to the table.*
> 
> 5) if you are married or have met your future hypothetical partner .. How did you know she was the one?
> 
> *I don't think there is just one, so I think that had something to do with it. Its more of a qualifying thing. She has everything I'm looking for and I can't think of any reason not to be with her. There are others that I probably could have been with who may even be better candidates than my wife, but I chose my wife and its a decision that I stand by and don't regret. I say love is a choice because I choose to love my wife, flaws and all. It was a decision and a commitment that I take seriously.*
> 
> If you aren't or haven't, what would you imagine would be the determining factors you'd consider for that type of loving relationship ? Example would be a certain type of intelligence or social class or maybe because she laughs at your jokes etc. I haven't a clue what men think when making that emotional decision. I know each persons different but I'm curious.


----------



## wiarumas

Wellsy said:


> Its okay I wanted to answer your questions though it was sloppy and I got slightly frustrated with how my phone functions. Makes being clear tedious.


That's happened to me. What I've learned to do is occasionally select all and copy. Just in case I hit refresh, back, or whatever happens that causes me to lose it, I still have a backup.

Took many frustrating losses of text to pick that one up haha.


----------



## wiarumas

William I am said:


> How do you approach someone you deeply want a serious relationship with?


Honesty is always a good policy. I approach them normally. I don't do tricks or play games or use any types of strategies. I let them know right up front who I am and my intentions. Usually I don't want a serious relationship or have strong feelings up front so it typically doesn't come across as too much or creepy. Usually that comes after I get to know them and see how we work together. 

I just want to learn about them, and if we have chemistry then that's the way things go. If things don't work out, I don't sweat it. I let nature run its course. I don't force square pegs in round holes.

Ironically from my experience the women who really want serious relationships with me were ones that I did not want serious relationships with. And the ones that I wanted, didn't want ones with me. However, when I met my wife, we both kind of just went with it. There was no reaching or settling. We kind of just operated on the same plane. Both happy with where our relationship was and where we were going. It was unspoken almost. We didn't celebrate undying, hormone influenced love for each other. It was more like, we didn't see any reason for the relationship to end and to just let the good times keep rollin.


----------



## petite libellule

wiarumas said:


> in quote


you think reassurance is emotional support? or merely encouragement. 

personally I'm turned off when men want to lend me their ear. I'd rather have them give me constructive advice that's more problem solving oriented. but encouragement with it in the sense of, here is a logical conclusion (advice) and yes, you can do this *pats head and sends me along my way*. I find it a sticky trap when men want to comfort me by letting me talk and talk with no logical direction whatsoever. It nearly feels like they're manipulating me but I think this might be me being jaded, I don't know. 

It's just that I tend to trust non emotionally supportive men vs. the one's that are just more protective in nature. Yet I still need encouragement - not to the point that they're an emotional tampon! Just a reminder that they're there. Actually, if they get angry at me and verbally express it (whether it be them throwing a man tantrum), I tend to trust that more than someone who is always "nice" and emotionally supportive. does that make sense?

Do you think it's an unreasonable expectation of any hypothetical future partner, to hope they'll be more of their logical type but still maybe let me know they're there and just a little supportive encouragement (not emotional support per se').

Am I really "high maintenance" due to my preferences ?

 It's been suggested I am .. but I don't think I am. 


*any man can answer these questions too*


----------



## wiarumas

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Hijacking this thread but lmao.
> 
> 
> Same here!
> 
> Edit: Oh, I have a question. Why do some men put nations of women in a box and say they're this, that and the other? Don't get me wrong, a lot of women do it also but I've seen a lot of men keep saying that 'British girls are this. American girls are that'. Do they do it to make themselves seem like Mr. Worldwide, or something? lol


Because some people are idiots. I think they are speaking through ignorance more than anything. 

If someone makes a claim about an entire population, the proof is in the pudding, they don't know what they are talking about.


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Alright .. 'You females just don't know how much we men go through for you " was the statement. Can you please elaborate on what exactly do you mean by this ? Also, more importantly, do you think females would know if men said what they do? Would it be an unreasonable expectation for men to communicate so we DO know ???
> 
> that's all for now!


I think what he's trying to say is that women are the gatekeepers to reproduction and men go to great lengths to prove to the woman to let him in, literally. Women on the other hand, don't have to try very hard to prove their worth to a man before he's willing to have sex with her.

And I don't think its a good idea for the man to share all the things he's doing to impress and more importantly why's he's doing it otherwise it might end up like a chris rock skit.


----------



## petite libellule

wiarumas said:


> I think what he's trying to say is that women are the gatekeepers to reproduction and men go to great lengths to prove to the woman to let him in, literally. Women on the other hand, don't have to try very hard to prove their worth to a man before he's willing to have sex with her.
> 
> And I don't think its a good idea for the man to share all the things he's doing to impress and more importantly why's he's doing it otherwise it might end up like a chris rock skit.


lolol!!! Omg. That is so funny! 

Okay. Maybe you can answer this one clearly cruel blunt honesty. Okay. So a problem I have is I don't crave sex unless I'm already in that state of wanting to be in a relationship with that person. Men as Chris Rock puts it, crave it every day and don't seem to have many prerequisites aside from physical attraction. And even if he does have other requirements, he's generally not going to turn it down when the opportunity presents itself. Okay. I get that. It's the nature of the beast(testosterone) and I can accept that. 

So. When Chris rock teases that whenever a guy is being nice, they're offering you penis. Lol! To a certain extent, that's probably true. But is that it then? Sex and the biological urge to procreate, pass your genes, is that all men want from women (mostly). When do they begin to want other things like companionship and is love just one of those things that just happens, like they don't want it innately but it just happens and they think, 'ah fuck' and then logically rationalize it so it's not that bad ? lol!! I'm just curious. 

If you were to put a weight on sex, love, and companionship. What would it be? I realize it would be different for all men so by all means anyone can answer. What percent would you attribute towards these 3 common attributes of relationship. ? Or at the very least ... Put them in order of most to least important. If you're someone like me who has a high percentage with all three, is this to suggest irrational expectations ?


----------



## Nightchill

How in hell can you expect me to think it's sensible to partake in the triangle - to have your past girlfriend in present and saying 'it's past' when she's overwhelmingly still around? How in hell you think it's healthy and not harming to us.


----------



## wiarumas

in quote



Ningsta Kitty said:


> you think reassurance is emotional support? or merely encouragement.
> 
> *When I say reassurance, I don't mean encouragement. I can encourage and motivate people to do things. When I said reassurance in emotional support, I meant in the context when they don't do things. When people reassure someone that everything will be okay or some other type of sense of security. You know, listen and a person that nods their head. To me that's a false sense of security or telling what they want to hear rather than what they should hear.*
> 
> personally I'm turned off when men want to lend me their ear. I'd rather have them give me constructive advice that's more problem solving oriented. but encouragement with it in the sense of, here is a logical conclusion (advice) and yes, you can do this *pats head and sends me along my way*. I find it a sticky trap when men want to comfort me by letting me talk and talk with no logical direction whatsoever. It nearly feels like they're manipulating me but I think this might be me being jaded, I don't know.
> 
> It's just that I tend to trust non emotionally supportive men vs. the one's that are just more protective in nature. Yet I still need encouragement - not to the point that they're an emotional tampon! Just a reminder that they're there. Actually, if they get angry at me and verbally express it (whether it be them throwing a man tantrum), I tend to trust that more than someone who is always "nice" and emotionally supportive. does that make sense?
> 
> *i agree with this. makes sense to me. i dont know why people like it and i dont know why people do it. though I am skeptical in what you say vs reality. I mean, you mention man tantrums. I don't think a man would have to resort to throwing a tantrum if things are as peachy as you're saying. though i understand the general sentiment that you want a bit of the best of both worlds. a man who diligently listens and then provides the best advice. who wouldnt love that, really? i kid, but really, i find that to be a common complaint among women. it might be high standards like you say, but you can get away with it because its a common problem.*
> 
> Do you think it's an unreasonable expectation of any hypothetical future partner, to hope they'll be more of their logical type but still maybe let me know they're there and just a little supportive encouragement (not emotional support per se').
> 
> *I don't think its unreasonable to expect anything from a hypothetical future partner haha.*
> 
> Am I really "high maintenance" due to my preferences ?
> 
> It's been suggested I am .. but I don't think I am.
> 
> *any man can answer these questions too*


----------



## petite libellule

@wiarumas I was just using the man tantrum as a point of reference but not that it's the actuality of my history. Sometimes when people aren't as in tune with their emotions , they communicate it poorly. But I would rather have that then not communicate at all and feign agreeable emotional support. 

Hope that made sense. 

Really. I'm just breaking down my thoughts and expectations to reassess them for what is reasonable, and what is not. I tend to analyze my emotions and thoughts every so often to adjust what's necessary and appropriate to adjust, for future reference or want not ...


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> lolol!!! Omg. That is so funny!
> 
> Okay. Maybe you can answer this one clearly cruel blunt honesty. Okay. So a problem I have is I don't crave sex unless I'm already in that state of wanting to be in a relationship with that person. Men as Chris Rock puts it, crave it every day and don't seem to have many prerequisites aside from physical attraction. And even if he does have other requirements, he's generally not going to turn it down when the opportunity presents itself. Okay. I get that. It's the nature of the beast(testosterone) and I can accept that.
> 
> So. When Chris rock teases that whenever a guy is being nice, they're offering you penis. Lol! To a certain extent, that's probably true. But is that it then? Sex and the biological urge to procreate, pass your genes, is that all men want from women (mostly). When do they begin to want other things like companionship and is love just one of those things that just happens, like they don't want it innately but it just happens and they think, 'ah fuck' and then logically rationalize it so it's not that bad ? lol!! I'm just curious.
> 
> If you were to put a weight on sex, love, and companionship. What would it be? I realize it would be different for all men so by all means anyone can answer. What percent would you attribute towards these 3 common attributes of relationship. ? Or at the very least ... Put them in order of most to least important. If you're someone like me who has a high percentage with all three, is this to suggest irrational expectations ?


Here's my unprofessional and unscientific take on it.

First off, Chris Rock I think he touches on a real subject, but of course its vastly exaggerated for comedy. I don't think men go around craving sex from every stranger. Every old man that opens a door for you isn't trying to have sex with you, but to an extent there is some truth in it and that's why its funny - ie, You can order whatever you want in this restaurant because I'm hoping to have sex with you later.

For me personally, my standards for sex are LOWER than my standards for a relationship and have little to do with each other. Sex and relationships are compartmentalized. I can't weight sex, companionship, and relationships because they don't really have anything to do with each other. Ideally, you want all three, but to have sex with someone, all you need is sexual attraction. And I really think this goes back to the risk of sex. For a male, if I were to have a one night stand, the risks are relatively low. Society has imposed that I should be responsible for the child, but in reality, if its a one night stand, I might not even know I had a child until I'm long gone.

But for a woman, every sexual act carries the risk that she might be reminded of a mistake she had for 40 weeks followed by a day long delivery and whatever she chooses to do with that child. I don't think this is a conscious thought on the mind of a woman when she has sex, but I think there might be a subconscious standard that comes into play where the woman when she judges a sexual partner, thus as you say, wanting to be in a relationship with that individual. In other words, sex and relationship standards are somewhat more aligned than they are for males. To put it politely, women are pickier.

She's not just looking for good genes (sexual attraction), but also the ability to provide whatever she deems important or weighted (like, in your case, companionship). Its different woman to woman. It might be strength, it might be financial, it might be emotional support, it might just be potential to be a good father or husband. The act of dating, making the guy wait, or even just proving himself worthy, its basically a trial. Or at least, thats what I think. You tell me what goes through a girl's mind before having sex with him haha.

Chatting at the bar, talking about what he does for a living, taking a look at the clothes he wears, the car he drives, his apartment or house, how he is around children, how good of a listener, his patience, his ambition, his sense of humor, or how he acts when playing with a puppy, is basically a sophisticated and civilized way of doing this:






So what does it take then for a male to engage in a relationship? Well, I think, for me personally, is that I want the best partner I can get. I want it all. Same as woman probably. But I'll have sex until then. And the act of sex itself isn't really convincing - it won't change my mind basically.

And women are capable of doing that too, its just, not as common that women are picking up picky men who play hard to get before sleeping with them. It happens, but I don't think its the dominant trend across bars and clubs all over the world.


----------



## wiarumas

Nightchill said:


> How in hell can you expect me to think it's sensible to partake in the triangle - to have your past girlfriend in present and saying 'it's past' when she's overwhelmingly still around? How in hell you think it's healthy and not harming to us.


I don't.

And I personally don't have any ex's in my life. I move on.


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> @wiarumas I was just using the man tantrum as a point of reference but not that it's the actuality of my history. Sometimes when people aren't as in tune with their emotions , they communicate it poorly. But I would rather have that then not communicate at all and feign agreeable emotional support.
> 
> Hope that made sense.
> 
> Really. I'm just breaking down my thoughts and expectations to reassess them for what is reasonable, and what is not. I tend to analyze my emotions and thoughts every so often to adjust what's necessary and appropriate to adjust, for future reference or want not ...


Maybe its just me but I wouldn't adjust anything. I have a strict what you see is what you get, take it or leave it policy.


----------



## petite libellule

@wiarumas LOLOL!! That was adorable!! 

But what if my goal isn't all that biological stuff. What if I just want to love a best friend and enjoy a sex life and enjoy life. I don't want more children. Children are expensive!!! Lol!! 

I don't know. The differences between the sexes are an enigma beyond my understanding ..


----------



## petite libellule

wiarumas said:


> Maybe its just me but I wouldn't adjust anything. I have a strict what you see is what you get, take it or leave it policy.


I have that policy too.
But if I question my ideas and thoughts and expectations every so often it helps.

Managing expectations breeds happiness. ^.^


----------



## MindBomb

Ningsta Kitty said:


> Springing from another thread. Thoughts/questions :
> 
> 1) do you lead with your heart or with your logic in relationship? While both are necessary, which supersedes the other and why?


Both working in concert with each other. I tend to default to logic and reason, but I also have to feel right about what I'm doing--that is, I'm acting in congruence with my values--very important. I've learned to also trust my intuition more.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> 2) do you prefer to be emotionally supportive for your partner or protective(in a non psycho way of course ) which do you think is the more common style for men to take, generally speaking.


I'll provide the type of support she needs at the time. Sometimes, it's as a sounding board without much input; other times, she would like help solving whatever problem she is facing. While I'm not a jealous person in the slightest, I will also protect her when needed. I learned this from my dad...kind of like, "hey, that's my wife you're talking about." I like for my partner to be able to handle herself; but, that said, I'll be right there with the heavy stuff as backup, if necessary.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> 3) how much of a turn off is intense enthusiasm, optimistic or silly ? When is it 'too much' ?


Intense enthusiasm annoys the shit out of me. I like things to be even-keeled. Don't get me wrong...I like people who are optimistic and can engage in their silly side--Heck, I can and like doing the same thing. But _intense_ enthusiasm? No, thanks.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> 4) Have you ever felt strongly enough about a person that you couldn't imagine not knowing them ? What's that like from a mans perspective. What do you do with that? Do you just avoid the feeling?


I've never thought about this question. Honestly. And I probably won't ever entertain it. What's the point? I just continue on enjoying the present and planning for the future.



Ningsta Kitty said:


> 5) if you are married or have met your future hypothetical partner .. How did you know she was the one?
> 
> If you aren't or haven't, what would you imagine would be the determining factors you'd consider for that type of loving relationship ? Example would be a certain type of intelligence or social class or maybe because she laughs at your jokes etc. I haven't a clue what men think when making that emotional decision. I know each persons different but I'm curious.


Well, to start, I'm pretty picky from the get go when even beginning a relationship. I'm very clear on the type of person that would fit in and enhance my life. So, if I don't see a strong potential for longevity, for whatever reason, then I'm out pretty quickly. Once I'm in a relationship, then there are some key things that I'm looking out for that are deal breakers if they occur. But along with that, I am trying to get better at letting things develop and simply enjoying the time together--here's where my heart can get involved: am I relaxed around her; do I miss her when we are apart; are we naturally affectionate with each other; do we enjoy each other's company; do we spontaneously and openly share who we are and what we are feeling/thinking; do we want and practice the same intensity and level of intimacy ...

When all of these things align...you just _know_. It's very easy to see yourself with this person into old age. Indeed, this prospect actually seems comforting and exciting at the same time. And that you love that person without reservation and despite the person's flaws--and he/she feels the same way about you. In the end, I guess, it's a heart-driven decision, guided by very logical and well-thought out criteria along the way.


----------



## Kyandigaru

can men be just as catty and gossipy as women?


----------



## Wellsy

Kyandigaru said:


> can men be just as catty and gossipy as women?


No doubt about it. People gossip, draw quick judgmental conclusions, critique unjustly.


----------



## HellCat

How do you act during/after an argument with your partner? How about after a breakup? 

Lately I have two exes calling once in awhile and yelling at me because I won't be with them, projecting their anger/fears/emotions and even resorting to calling me names. It makes me feel sick. One I consider a good friend who is engaged but relapses once every month into a self pity spiral for an hour and blames me for leaving, the other I am waiting for him to get bored and move on. 

Are most guys capable of being this way deep down? I swear after the behaviour of these two, men give me chicken pox.


----------



## drmiller100

They are immature and do not understand love.


----------



## Nightchill

wiarumas said:


> I don't.
> 
> And I personally don't have any ex's in my life. I move on.


Easy for you to say personally, I'm waiting for one of them - bastards to say. :tongue:

But your advice is basically, get rid of the man who collects ex girlfriends? Agreed!


----------



## wiarumas

Ningsta Kitty said:


> @wiarumas LOLOL!! That was adorable!!
> 
> But what if my goal isn't all that biological stuff. What if I just want to love a best friend and enjoy a sex life and enjoy life. I don't want more children. Children are expensive!!! Lol!!
> 
> I don't know. The differences between the sexes are an enigma beyond my understanding ..


It doesn't really have to do with children. Its the criteria that what you subconsciously define as a good partner that is rooted in reproduction. How women define their ideal man or how a man defines their ideal woman is rooted in their biological role. This is one reason why women are interested in the man's lifestyle, how he behaves, what he has, etc - basically his environment that he provides whether its his sense of humor or his companionship or financial well being. Its almost a 360 view of a man's situation and the woman questions whether or not she wants to be a part of it. Dating is basically a demonstration of this, and sex ends up being the woman's approval or denial after his demonstration.

Men, think like this too, but, if I remember correctly, they have different short term goals vs long term goals when it comes to sexual attraction. Basically, for sex, they need sexual attraction, but for long term, they require almost the identical needs of a woman (good genes, ability to provide, etc).

This is actually a common psychology subject. I didn't look for a really good source, but quickly browsing, this seems to have a lot of info about it.

Sexual selection


----------



## wiarumas

Kyandigaru said:


> can men be just as catty and gossipy as women?


Yes. Though, from my observation, its not as socially acceptable and/or tolerated the same among (male) peers. Also, the style of gossip can be different.

I've seen catty/gossipy men called out and chastised from the group. But that's just one form of catty/gossipy behavior. I think men who sit around and talk about athletes and injuries is also a form of gossip. Its a matter of content and delivery.


----------



## monemi

wiarumas said:


> For me personally, my standards for sex are LOWER than my standards for a relationship and have little to do with each other. Sex and relationships are compartmentalized. I can't weight sex, companionship, and relationships because they don't really have anything to do with each other. Ideally, you want all three, but to have sex with someone, all you need is sexual attraction. And I really think this goes back to the risk of sex. For a male, if I were to have a one night stand, the risks are relatively low. Society has imposed that I should be responsible for the child, but in reality, if its a one night stand, I might not even know I had a child until I'm long gone.
> 
> But for a woman, every sexual act carries the risk that she might be reminded of a mistake she had for 40 weeks followed by a day long delivery and whatever she chooses to do with that child. I don't think this is a conscious thought on the mind of a woman when she has sex, but I think there might be a subconscious standard that comes into play where the woman when she judges a sexual partner, thus as you say, wanting to be in a relationship with that individual. In other words, sex and relationship standards are somewhat more aligned than they are for males. To put it politely, women are pickier.
> 
> She's not just looking for good genes (sexual attraction), but also the ability to provide whatever she deems important or weighted (like, in your case, companionship). Its different woman to woman. It might be strength, it might be financial, it might be emotional support, it might just be potential to be a good father or husband. The act of dating, making the guy wait, or even just proving himself worthy, its basically a trial. Or at least, thats what I think. You tell me what goes through a girl's mind before having sex with him haha.


Casual sex standards aren't lower, they just shift from what I can tell. At least for women, the priorities change. Kindness drops in value but looks become more important for instance. Hence clubs tend to be meat markets. It's a good way to see if a guy has enough co-ordination to dance. It doesn't matter if a guy can dance if you're planning to keep him around. 

Anyway, that's my take on it. I love dancing and spent my fair share in clubs, bars, parties and raves. I've seen my share of strangers go home together. Unless the woman is particularly drunk or stoned, the guys are attractive. Women seem to be less concerned with looks when it comes to actual relationships and more concerned with looks when they are just looking for sex.


----------



## wiarumas

LeoCat said:


> How do you act during/after an argument with your partner? How about after a breakup?
> 
> Lately I have two exes calling once in awhile and yelling at me because I won't be with them, projecting their anger/fears/emotions and even resorting to calling me names. It makes me feel sick. One I consider a good friend who is engaged but relapses once every month into a self pity spiral for an hour and blames me for leaving, the other I am waiting for him to get bored and move on.
> 
> Are most guys capable of being this way deep down? I swear after the behaviour of these two, men give me chicken pox.


After an argument, or even during an argument, I act like a switch turned off and the thing that was upsetting me has vanished completely. I said what I had to, and then I'm no longer upset almost to the point where it looks like I was never upset to begin with.

Same with ex's for the most part. When I decide to rinse my hands of something, there is no lingering feelings. I move on completely.

With that said, I remember 2 instances with 2 different ex's, after a breakup, talking to them and hurting their feelings accidentally. Not in a malicious, yelling, name calling way, but just an honest conversation about why we broke up. I think because when I break up with someone, I remember the reasons why we didn't work out, because I find that information to be the most useful going forward in dating. I don't try to fool myself and remember just the good times, I don't see any real benefit in that besides nostalgia, and even then, seems unhealthy. So if I'm talking to that individual and they start to bring up our relationship, one of my most immediate thoughts is why it didn't work and its probably going to be mentioned at some point. One reason why I don't bother trying to maintain contact/relations with ex's. No good can come of it.


----------



## wiarumas

monemi said:


> Casual sex standards aren't lower, they just shift from what I can tell. At least for women, the priorities change. Kindness drops in value but looks become more important for instance. Hence clubs tend to be meat markets. It's a good way to see if a guy has enough co-ordination to dance. It doesn't matter if a guy can dance if you're planning to keep him around.
> 
> Anyway, that's my take on it. I love dancing and spent my fair share in clubs, bars, parties and raves. I've seen my share of strangers go home together. Unless the woman is particularly drunk or stoned, the guys are attractive. Women seem to be less concerned with looks when it comes to actual relationships and more concerned with looks when they are just looking for sex.


All good points.

Somewhat reminds me of this theory:

Sexy son hypothesis - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


----------



## wiarumas

Nightchill said:


> Easy for you to say personally, I'm waiting for one of them - bastards to say. :tongue:
> 
> But your advice is basically, get rid of the man who collects ex girlfriends? Agreed!


Yes, that's what I'm saying. I personally don't see any reason to keep them around (well, I do, but I don't think its in your best interest). And I wouldn't bother trying to explain to a guy your feelings about it. To me, its a red flag, and displays deeper issues than just the threat of a love triangle, and its best to just not tolerate it by leaving.

Also, I feel like its noteworthy to mention there is a difference between getting upset that a man keeps ex gf's around vs being the over protective gf that gets upset any time an ex gf is in proximity to their boyfriend. You can't let insecurity and trust issues get in the way of thinking rationally if its a legitimate threat or just an act of coincidence that their paths cross at times.


----------



## monemi

wiarumas said:


> All good points.
> 
> Somewhat reminds me of this theory:
> 
> Sexy son hypothesis - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


Interesting, but in an age of birth control and more affective abortion methods, wouldn't their numbers start to dwindle? You don't generally see women trying to conceive and giving birth to the product of a ONS.


----------



## wiarumas

monemi said:


> Interesting, but in an age of birth control and more affective abortion methods, wouldn't their numbers start to dwindle? You don't generally see women trying to conceive and giving birth to the product of a ONS.


No, these theories don't actually have to do with reproduction. These theories are about sexual attraction, which is embedded in reproduction.

When you find someone sexually attractive, you are basically saying you find their genes appropriate to make babies with. You don't actually have to follow through with it.

For example, you mention going to clubs. What do you look for there? You say personality/kindness means less, so how do you determine attractiveness? Is it eyes? Hair? Physique? I mean, why are these things important? Their pointless. The reason why you find these things attractive is because you subconsciously think that these things are desireable traits for mating and offspring. 

The advent of birth control didn't reliquish us of these subcionsous thoughts, but rather let us induldge in them without the threat of having to bear the consequences.


----------



## Nightchill

wiarumas said:


> Yes, that's what I'm saying. I personally don't see any reason to keep them around (well, I do, but I don't think its in your best interest). And I wouldn't bother trying to explain to a guy your feelings about it. To me, its a red flag, and displays deeper issues than just the threat of a love triangle, and its best to just not tolerate it by leaving.
> 
> Also, I feel like its noteworthy to mention there is a difference between getting upset that a man keeps ex gf's around vs being the over protective gf that gets upset any time an ex gf is in proximity to their boyfriend. You can't let insecurity and trust issues get in the way of thinking rationally if its a legitimate threat or just an act of coincidence that their paths cross at times.


Rationally I'm not a mind reader and I can't ever truly _know_ if a man is reliable and loyal (trustworthy). The issue's not with me but with nature(lack of superpowers). An ex is a red flag. Ex should stay ex and stay away in the past accordingly. 

'Irrationally' I don't really think that people who have been romantically involved and cared about each other can be 'just friends'. There will always be that 'something'. I don't want to be just a back-up plan, an alternative and get in the triangle.

If he doesn't really care about them or need them (as he claims), he'll have no problem with putting them at an insurmountable or at least safe distance.


----------



## monemi

wiarumas said:


> No, these theories don't actually have to do with reproduction. These theories are about sexual attraction, which is embedded in reproduction.
> 
> When you find someone sexually attractive, you are basically saying you find their genes appropriate to make babies with. You don't actually have to follow through with it.
> 
> For example, you mention going to clubs. What do you look for there? You say personality/kindness means less, so how do you determine attractiveness? Is it eyes? Hair? Physique? I mean, why are these things important? Their pointless. The reason why you find these things attractive is because you subconsciously think that these things are desireable traits for mating and offspring.
> 
> The advent of birth control didn't reliquish us of these subcionsous thoughts, but rather let us induldge in them without the threat of having to bear the consequences.


I see. Still, in the long run, this may have an impact on future genes, wouldn't you think? I don't know how it works in the US, but here, higher income families can afford more than 1-2 children while I see lower income couples are less likely to have kids or if they do, have 1-2 children. Am I making sense here?

Personally, I never went home with random men I picked up in clubs. For all I knew they could be Paul Bernardo's in the making. I value living . But I would be lying if I said I wasn't attracted to dance partners. I'm a visual person. I can see the lure in ONS's, but logic always won out on that one.


----------



## monemi

Nightchill said:


> Rationally I'm not a mind reader and I can't ever truly _know_ if a man is reliable and loyal (trustworthy). The issue's not with me but with nature(lack of superpowers). An ex is a red flag. Ex should stay ex and stay away in the past accordingly.
> 
> 'Irrationally' I don't really think that people who have been romantically involved and cared about each other can be 'just friends'. There will always be that 'something'. I don't want to be just a back-up plan, an alternative and get in the triangle.
> 
> If he doesn't really care about them or need them (as he claims), he'll have no problem with putting them at an insurmountable or at least safe distance.


I'm friends with ex's. I've never gone back to an ex. Ex's have never been confused as I made it abundantly clear that it was 100% over. That said, I don't keep ex's in my back pocket. Friend's that I talk to on occasion is not the same thing as a friend that I hang out with regularly.


----------



## Nightchill

monemi said:


> I'm friends with ex's. I've never gone back to an ex. Ex's have never been confused as I made it abundantly clear that it was 100% over. That said, I don't keep ex's in my back pocket. Friend's that I talk to on occasion is not the same thing as a friend that I hang out with regularly.


You're not a male :tongue: But 'friend' is an overused and misused expression I'd say. I'd call it an acquaintance. People I know and treat decently, but don't spend time with (voluntarily).

But hell, those helicopter ex- now- a- friend that jump out of everywhere. If they care so f*ckin much about each other and get along so well to be friends why aren't they together. And I am expected to play a detective and solve these mysteries?!


----------



## monemi

Nightchill said:


> You're not a male :tongue: But 'friend' is an overused and misused expression I'd say. I'd call it an acquaintance. People I know and treat decently, but don't spend time with (voluntarily).
> 
> But hell, those helicopter ex- now- a- friend that jump out of everywhere. If they care so f*ckin much about each other and get along so well to be friends why aren't they together. And I am expected to play a detective and solve these mysteries?!


I seem to be memorable. I call acquaintances those people I've met once or twice. I'm acquainted with them, but I don't really know them.


----------



## Nightchill

monemi said:


> I seem to be memorable. I call acquaintances those people I've met once or twice. I'm acquainted with them, but I don't really know them.


Ok, this is one of those moments to complain about English language. It seems as if friendship and intimate relationships have lost its deeper and long-lasting meaning. :/


----------



## Amore

haha, I have to tell myself that. STOP guessing.


----------



## drmiller100

monemi said:


> I see. Still, in the long run, this may have an impact on future genes, wouldn't you think? I don't know how it works in the US, but here, higher income families can afford more than 1-2 children while I see lower income couples are less likely to have kids or if they do, have 1-2 children. Am I making sense here?
> 
> .


here in the US smart people have one or 2 kids max, the lowest on the intelligence scales, and least incomes, have 4 to 8.


----------



## monemi

drmiller100 said:


> here in the US smart people have one or 2 kids max, the lowest on the intelligence scales, and least incomes, have 4 to 8.


I think birth control is cheaper and more accessible here. I could be wrong, but medications are usually cheaper here and abortion clinics and hospitals providing abortions don't have protestors (they're not allowed.) Plus abortions are covered 100% by provincial healthcare. There are fewer unplanned pregnancies are fewer abortions per capita and the birth rate is below replacement levels. You'd look pretty stupid with the amount of resources available having a ton of kids you can't afford with all of the resources available. Even if you're not here legally or haven't been here long enough to access our healthcare insurance, there are sexual health clinics you can always go to and get free or cheap birth control. 

I can imagine in areas that lack resources the birth rate would be much higher.


----------



## Maybe Mercury

What does it mean if a guy starts talking about being a parent? The guy I've been seeing has brought up how bad a parent he thinks he'd be. It's kinda out of the blue and I'm never the one to bring up parenting or babies (I'm in _college_, for chrissakes).

Does this mean anything? Or am I just over-thinking?


----------



## drmiller100

Elicit said:


> What does it mean if a guy starts talking about being a parent? The guy I've been seeing has brought up how bad a parent he thinks he'd be. It's kinda out of the blue and I'm never the one to bring up parenting or babies (I'm in _college_, for chrissakes).
> 
> Does this mean anything? Or am I just over-thinking?


Do you have wide hips? (smiles, joking, only sort of not).

In my younger years I'd maybe test a lady to see if she was ready for kids. 

If the answer were yes, I'd run. A clear NO and I'd carry on.


----------



## Maybe Mercury

drmiller100 said:


> Do you have wide hips? (smiles, joking, only sort of not).
> 
> In my younger years I'd maybe test a lady to see if she was ready for kids.
> 
> If the answer were yes, I'd run. A clear NO and I'd carry on.


My hips are about as wide as my bust, maybe a little bigger.

Yeah, I quickly change the subject when he brings it up. I don't want to have a kid talk yet.

My question is then why would he test me to see if I were ready for kids? That makes no sense.


----------



## hellobirdy

damn it! I was going to ask about how it feels to have a penis but someone beat me to it!


----------



## Donovan

Elicit said:


> What does it mean if a guy starts talking about being a parent? The guy I've been seeing has brought up how bad a parent he thinks he'd be. It's kinda out of the blue and I'm never the one to bring up parenting or babies (I'm in _college_, for chrissakes).
> 
> Does this mean anything? Or am I just over-thinking?


maybe a lot of things, elicit:

maybe... he was the oldest child, fit the caretaker role, and based his self-esteem off of it in a way--and now is doing the "yeah, but i'm ugly"-routine (when the person knows they're not, and so says this only in order to receive validation for knowing that they can still fit the comfortable role that they are currently outgrowing). 

maybe... it makes him feel more "adult" to even speak about these things

maybe... it's an "odd" way of making him feel more intimate in the relationship, like, "pretending it might go down this route, and having this potentially be a legit conversation makes me feel more important with a stab at false intimacy" (or not _false _maybe, but misdirected). 

maybe... whatever. but it definitely has to do with him, you, and how he see's himself. just ask, silly-bird. :tongue:


----------



## Snakecharmer

Meh.

I'm mostly apathetic about relationships right now, but this one guy has me confused...maybe one of you has some insight for me.

He's an old friend from waaaaaay back (24 years ago - I'm 43, he's 48). We've been FB friends for a couple of years. We hadn't seen each other in person in about 24 years...until about a week and a half ago, when we met for lunch.

He wanted to meet me about a year and a half ago, but I lived a few hours away then and was in a relationship. By the time I moved back to this area, he was seeing someone.

When he realized I was back in the area, he asked for my number and started texting me periodically. We finally met for lunch, but it was completely platonic (fine with me). He's attractive, and we have a lot in common, but...

Today we had an hours-long conversation via text. He told me about the issues he's having with the woman he's seeing. They are both fine with being able to see other people...and have been doing that for about a year. But, he said he gets jealous when he knows she's talking to other men, but he wants to be able to do what he wants too.

He flirted with me, complimented me, etc, during the conversation...but didn't mention seeing me again (although he's out of town for work for a week). He says we have a lot in common and he thinks we'd get along, and made a few comments about my cleavage (I had a minor wardrobe malfunction during our lunch date which revealed a bit of my, er, chest). 

Am I in the friend zone? Is he trying to feel me out just in case...as some kind of back-up girl?

What the heck....


----------



## Cetanu

Snakecharmer said:


> Meh.
> 
> I'm mostly apathetic about relationships right now, but this one guy has me confused...maybe one of you has some insight for me.
> 
> He's an old friend from waaaaaay back (24 years ago - I'm 43, he's 48). We've been FB friends for a couple of years. We hadn't seen each other in person in about 24 years...until about a week and a half ago, when we met for lunch.
> 
> He wanted to meet me about a year and a half ago, but I lived a few hours away then and was in a relationship. By the time I moved back to this area, he was seeing someone.
> 
> When he realized I was back in the area, he asked for my number and started texting me periodically. We finally met for lunch, but it was completely platonic (fine with me). He's attractive, and we have a lot in common, but...
> 
> Today we had an hours-long conversation via text. He told me about the issues he's having with the woman he's seeing. They are both fine with being able to see other people...and have been doing that for about a year. But, he said he gets jealous when he knows she's talking to other men, but he wants to be able to do what he wants too.
> 
> He flirted with me, complimented me, etc, during the conversation...but didn't mention seeing me again (although he's out of town for work for a week). He says we have a lot in common and he thinks we'd get along, and made a few comments about my cleavage (I had a minor wardrobe malfunction during our lunch date which revealed a bit of my, er, chest).
> 
> Am I in the friend zone? Is he trying to feel me out just in case...as some kind of back-up girl?
> 
> What the heck....


I would say there's no friendzone with guys, unless you are fat and gross. Last time I looked at your pic I thought you were a good looking lady.

Any way, if there is any kind of 'zone', it would be a "I would potentially like to have some mutual fun with you, no strings UNLESS you are so great that I would want to focus more on you individually."-zone.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Cetanu said:


> I would say there's no friendzone with guys, unless you are fat and gross. Last time I looked at your pic I thought you were a good looking lady.
> 
> Any way, if there is any kind of 'zone', it would be a "I would potentially like to have some mutual fun with you, no strings UNLESS you are so great that I would want to focus more on you individually."-zone.


Gosh, thanks! *blushing*

That makes sense...yeah, I think that's probably the zone I'm in right now. Hmm.


----------



## Crimson Ash

Snakecharmer said:


> Meh.
> 
> I'm mostly apathetic about relationships right now, but this one guy has me confused...maybe one of you has some insight for me.
> 
> He's an old friend from waaaaaay back (24 years ago - I'm 43, he's 48). We've been FB friends for a couple of years. We hadn't seen each other in person in about 24 years...until about a week and a half ago, when we met for lunch.
> 
> He wanted to meet me about a year and a half ago, but I lived a few hours away then and was in a relationship. By the time I moved back to this area, he was seeing someone.
> 
> When he realized I was back in the area, he asked for my number and started texting me periodically. We finally met for lunch, but it was completely platonic (fine with me). He's attractive, and we have a lot in common, but...
> 
> Today we had an hours-long conversation via text. He told me about the issues he's having with the woman he's seeing. They are both fine with being able to see other people...and have been doing that for about a year. But, he said he gets jealous when he knows she's talking to other men, but he wants to be able to do what he wants too.
> 
> He flirted with me, complimented me, etc, during the conversation...but didn't mention seeing me again (although he's out of town for work for a week). He says we have a lot in common and he thinks we'd get along, and made a few comments about my cleavage (I had a minor wardrobe malfunction during our lunch date which revealed a bit of my, er, chest).
> 
> Am I in the friend zone? Is he trying to feel me out just in case...as some kind of back-up girl?
> 
> What the heck....


Hey Snakecharmer, sorry to say this, but as you have understood it does seem like its the Friendzone Emotional Support Person of the Opposite Sex role that has been gifted to you. Or the FESPOS as I like to call it. Which may or may not include a physical facet.

Maybe before when you were in a relationship he did show some interest, but when anyone talks to someone for around an hour and the majority of their conversation is about their past relationships then somethings not right.

The fact that he mentioned that he gets jealous of her certainly could suggest that he wants to do something to try and make her equally jealous with no concrete motivation to move on from that relationship. 

Still its too early to tell, maybe maintain that apathetic attitude until there are clearer signs. Meh.


----------



## Snakecharmer

UtterMess said:


> Still its too early to tell, maybe maintain that apathetic attitude until there are clearer signs. Meh.


The good thing about me is that I don't get attached...ever.  Strange, perhaps...but true.


----------



## Crimson Ash

Snakecharmer said:


> The good thing about me is that I don't get attached...ever.  Strange, perhaps...but true.


I sometimes do the exact opposite, which as you can imagine is infinitely worse than what you do. xD


----------



## wiarumas

Elicit said:


> What does it mean if a guy starts talking about being a parent? The guy I've been seeing has brought up how bad a parent he thinks he'd be. It's kinda out of the blue and I'm never the one to bring up parenting or babies (I'm in _college_, for chrissakes).
> 
> Does this mean anything? Or am I just over-thinking?


Might be a passive way of saying he doesn't want kids, or a probing question to see if the girl does. 

Or, it's a statement meant for face value and has no underlying meaning. Just an observation that he is bad with kids.


----------



## wiarumas

Snakecharmer said:


> Meh.
> 
> I'm mostly apathetic about relationships right now, but this one guy has me confused...maybe one of you has some insight for me.
> 
> He's an old friend from waaaaaay back (24 years ago - I'm 43, he's 48). We've been FB friends for a couple of years. We hadn't seen each other in person in about 24 years...until about a week and a half ago, when we met for lunch.
> 
> He wanted to meet me about a year and a half ago, but I lived a few hours away then and was in a relationship. By the time I moved back to this area, he was seeing someone.
> 
> When he realized I was back in the area, he asked for my number and started texting me periodically. We finally met for lunch, but it was completely platonic (fine with me). He's attractive, and we have a lot in common, but...
> 
> Today we had an hours-long conversation via text. He told me about the issues he's having with the woman he's seeing. They are both fine with being able to see other people...and have been doing that for about a year. But, he said he gets jealous when he knows she's talking to other men, but he wants to be able to do what he wants too.
> 
> He flirted with me, complimented me, etc, during the conversation...but didn't mention seeing me again (although he's out of town for work for a week). He says we have a lot in common and he thinks we'd get along, and made a few comments about my cleavage (I had a minor wardrobe malfunction during our lunch date which revealed a bit of my, er, chest).
> 
> Am I in the friend zone? Is he trying to feel me out just in case...as some kind of back-up girl?
> 
> What the heck....


Well, from the information provided, I think you are an option. He is halfway pursuing you to keep you around but isn't committing. He hasn't decided. Possibly a back up plan. 

Sounds like he wants this other girl or is at a minimum upset at the situation else he wouldn't have brought it up especially in that emotional context (I would never disclose that info to a prospective woman else it would jeopardize things with her). 

For me, there is no such thing as a friend zone, or at least the woman's style of friend zone which seems absolute. For me, friendship with a woman is situational. She has a boyfriend, I have a girlfriend, she dated a friend, long distance, and other complications. Relationships can stay platonic for various reasons. However, once the situation is remedied, it's all fair game. 

If I were you, I'd tread carefully for the simple fact that it sounds messy and complicated. You don't want to be knee deep in some couples drama.


----------



## Cetanu

wiarumas said:


> Well, from the information provided, I think you are an option. He is halfway pursuing you to keep you around but isn't committing. He hasn't decided. Possibly a back up plan.
> 
> Sounds like he wants this other girl or is at a minimum upset at the situation else he wouldn't have brought it up especially in that emotional context (I would never disclose that info to a prospective woman else it would jeopardize things with her).
> 
> For me, there is no such thing as a friend zone, or at least the woman's style of friend zone which seems absolute. For me, friendship with a woman is situational. She has a boyfriend, I have a girlfriend, she dated a friend, long distance, and other complications. Relationships can stay platonic for various reasons. However, once the situation is remedied, it's all fair game.
> 
> If I were you, I'd tread carefully for the simple fact that it sounds messy and complicated. You don't want to be knee deep in some couples drama.


OPTION!

That's the word that would perfectly sum it all up. Either that, or upgrade.


----------



## nevermore

Do you think men tend to be worse at self discipline? Either way, what sorts of things do you think we could do to help motivate ourselves better?


----------



## searcheagle

nevermore said:


> Do you think men tend to be worse at self discipline? Either way, what sorts of things do you think we could do to help motivate ourselves better?


I think men tend to be on the extremes on both sides more than women. Some men need to loosen up, some men need to buckle down.


----------



## nevermore

searcheagle said:


> *I think men tend to be on the extremes on both sides more than women.* Some men need to loosen up, some men need to buckle down.


Interesting. This is supposed to the case for a lot of male traits, is it not?


----------



## searcheagle

nevermore said:


> Interesting. This is supposed to the case for a lot of male traits, is it not?


That is true of IQ scores, based on a number of studies. Outside of that, I'm not sure what traits you're referring to.


----------



## nevermore

searcheagle said:


> That is true of IQ scores, based on a number of studies. Outside of that, I'm not sure what traits you're referring to.


BPS Research Digest: Do men have more varied personalities than women?

I've also heard it said that as we have only one X chromosome, traits that are otherwise recessive pop up more in men than they do in women.

If you remember the book "The Sexual Paradox"...I can recall Susan Pinker talking about it there. You could check out some of the studies she cites.

I don't know if it's true - I have some reservations about her book myself - but I would believe it.


----------



## Snakecharmer

I've decided to play his game...he texted yesterday, and we were talking about nutty people, so I casually told him that I'm having lunch with my crazy ex this Friday (which is true). 

He asked a LOT of questions about it. muahahhaha


----------



## wiarumas

nevermore said:


> Do you think men tend to be worse at self discipline? Either way, what sorts of things do you think we could do to help motivate ourselves better?


Judging by the sheer amount of clothes, shoes, purses, make up, soaps, and shampoos my wife has, self discipline is not a word that comes to mind (besides being anecdotal, I use her as an example because she is in most ways hyper self disciplined). It most likely manifests itself in different ways. 

I can't provide a solution to how to motivate better without better recognition of the problem. You may need to provide additional data to your claim of lack of self discipline.


----------



## Nightchill

I don't understand! If heterosexual males insist on anal with a female, what's the point of not doing it with men as well/instead, since it ends the same way. *ss is *ss. 

The very essence of what makes female a female is being dismissed.


----------



## android654

Nightchill said:


> I don't understand! If heterosexual males insist on anal with a female, what's the point of not doing it with men as well/instead, since it ends the same way. *ss is *ss.
> 
> The very essence of what makes female a female is being dismissed.


That is too extreme a view to have. By that same logic we could forgo oral, hands, kissing, hugging, holding, talking because I can do that with other guys too.


----------



## Nightchill

android654 said:


> That is too extreme a view to have. By that same logic we could forgo oral, hands, kissing, hugging, holding, talking because I can do that with other guys too.


Not extreme at all. A very sensible question. 

And don't tell me it's all about emotions and 'til death do us part :wink:


----------



## Snakecharmer

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say there are probably differences between a man's ass and a woman's. 

lol


----------



## android654

Nightchill said:


> Not extreme at all. A very sensible question.


Then why don't you hold the same contempt for hand holding, kissing, oral sex, foreplay and the rest? They could all be done by two men or two women. Why is anal special?


> And don't tell me it's all about emotions and 'til death do us part :wink:


I wasn't gonna.


----------



## Nightchill

android654 said:


> Then why don't you hold the same contempt for hand holding, kissing, oral sex, foreplay and the rest? They could all be done by two men or two women. Why is anal special?


'The very essence of what makes female a female is being dismissed.'

I think you should let this one for an experienced bi male/heterosexual male to answer :wink:


----------



## android654

Nightchill said:


> 'The very essence of what makes female a female is being dismissed.'


What makes a woman a woman is that she's a woman. If a man is having sex with women it is highly likely that he enjoys women. 



> I think you should let this one for an experienced bi male/heterosexual male to answer :wink:



Don't wanna shock you, but I've got a penis, testicles, Y chromosome, and I only have sex with women. Weird,I know, seeing as how I gave so much information to the contrary.


----------



## wiarumas

Nightchill said:


> I don't understand! If heterosexual males insist on anal with a female, what's the point of not doing it with men as well/instead, since it ends the same way. *ss is *ss.
> 
> The very essence of what makes female a female is being dismissed.


Why stop there? Men also have mouths and hands. Why wouldn't a heterosexual man want to kiss, receive oral, and get handjobs from men too?

Short answer - because heterosexual men like women. Liking anal doesn't make a man want to have sex with any ass. They want their kink from the gender they are sexually attracted to.


----------



## drmiller100

I like the most what I cannot have. I was married to a woman for 15 years who came like a firecracker with a finger in there, but it was perverted so we only did it every other year or so.

then i dated a lady who LOVED anal. Did ti a few times, and went 'eh'.

great sex is so much more than just insertion. I don't do, and haven't done for a long time, slam bams anymore.


----------



## nevermore

wiarumas said:


> Judging by the sheer amount of clothes, shoes, purses, make up, soaps, and shampoos my wife has, self discipline is not a word that comes to mind (besides being anecdotal, I use her as an example because she is in most ways hyper self disciplined). *It most likely manifests itself in different ways. *
> 
> I can't provide a solution to how to motivate better without better recognition of the problem. You may need to provide additional data to your claim of lack of self discipline.


Very true. I find a lot of traits people claim are strongly gendered are actually better described in this way.

I don't know if I'm making a claim though? Not one I stand behind anyway - more floating an idea, based on casual observation, in the form of a hypothesis. I'm interested in seeing it torn apart if there are problems with it, to help me make up my mind, whichever way it falls. I am claiming that_ I'm_ undisciplined, if that's what you mean...

Personally I've observed that men need to feel the urgency to do something more strongly and viscerally than women do. Our motivators are more individual and situational. More reactive, and more about taking the path of least resistance (which some might claim is more efficient, as we can definitely be quite motivated when it's "crunch time", but this doesn't always help us). And men seem to grumble more when an established system doesn't make sense, whereas women are more likely to hold their noses and work around/through it. 

When it's not urgent, we often need to really care about something to get into it, whereas women seem to be able to pace themselves and force themselves a little more.

I find we tend to be much more obsessive when we do get into things. (When it's not one of those eleventh hour cases.) More selective and intense about it maybe. In male cases it sometimes looks less like self discipline and more like mild obsession, to be kind of blunt, and more often comes about because of genuine interest (even it it's something you often don't want to do, like exercising every day...you just feel sort of compelled out of habit).

I could be more describing my experience, and possibly negatively stereotyping men, but there it is...explained in a bit more detail.


----------



## nevermore

@Nightchill there _are_ apparently some heterosexual men who get oral and things like that from other guys when they don't have (enough? easy?) access to women. But you probably know that...

Also both men and women have asses. It's not an inherently unfeminine body part. :laughing:

But I like dudes so...maybe not the best guy to answer...


----------



## Nightchill

wiarumas said:


> Why stop there? Men also have mouths and hands. Why wouldn't a heterosexual man want to kiss, receive oral, and get handjobs from men too?
> 
> Short answer - because heterosexual men like women. Liking anal doesn't make a man want to have sex with any ass. They want their kink from the gender they are sexually attracted to.


They are attracted to the idea of anal sex. Male and female *sses are the same as far as what I know from anatomy goes. 

lol I'll just leave it at this. I sense this isn't leading anywhere sensible.


----------



## android654

Nightchill said:


> They are attracted to the idea of anal sex. Male and female *sses are the same as far as what I know from anatomy goes.
> 
> lol I'll just leave it at this. I sense this isn't leading anywhere sensible.



Perhaps revisit your thesis.


----------



## Nightchill

android654 said:


> Perhaps revisit your thesis.


Or have their light turned off and then have them report if it was a male or a female. :tongue:


----------



## wiarumas

Nightchill said:


> Or have their light turned off and then have them report if it was a male or a female. :tongue:


Sex is more than just a hole in the dark. If that's all it was - just a hole to get off - your theory might hold some truth. But there is more to it than that. For all types of sex. Not just anal.


----------



## Nightchill

wiarumas said:


> Sex is more than just a hole in the dark. If that's all it was - just a hole to get off - your theory might hold some truth. But there is more to it than that. For all types of sex. Not just anal.


Ofc, but what's so important and special about female body and insisting on it when it ends the same way as if it were a male?


----------



## wiarumas

Nightchill said:


> Ofc, but what's so important and special about female body and insisting on it when it ends the same way as if it were a male?


What's important and special? Pretty much everything. 

The person as an individual, the psychological nature of it, your relationship with the person. It's not just a means to get off. There is much more to it than that. 

Honestly there is less of a difference between the act of vaginal and anal sex with a woman than the huge divide between having any type of sex with a man vs a woman. Anatomically, it's the same, but sex has many psychological components to it even to just achieve erection or orgasm. 

Just a simple example to demonstrate the point, if a guy bent over in front of me right now, I wouldn't be able to get it up even if he said "what's wrong, it's the same anatomically." I know it's going to end in orgasm, but no part of that appeals to me.


----------



## Swede

Is it insulting to a man if a woman opens and holds the door for him? I generally do if I get to the door first. I am not talking about boys, handicapped, or very old men here, but able-bodied adults. I haven't gotten any complaints, but I do get some weird/embarrassed looks sometimes.


----------



## DiamondDays

Swede said:


> Is it insulting to a man if a woman opens and holds the door for him? I generally do if I get to the door first. I am not talking about boys, handicapped, or very old men here, but able-bodied adults. I haven't gotten any complaints, but I do get some weird/embarrassed looks sometimes.


I'm so used to this, being a Swede, that when i go abroad and females in front of me expect me to open the door i just stand there confusedly.


----------



## Swede

DiamondDays said:


> I'm so used to this, being a Swede, that when i go abroad and females in front of me expect me to open the door i just stand there confusedly.


lol, yeah I know...


----------



## napkineater

wiarumas said:


> I'm an ENTJ type 3 male.
> 
> Ive done it all from being in a band, fraternity, marriage, parenting, and everything in between. I have genius level IQ, paint, cook, write poetry, short stories, novels, shoot guns, work on cars, etc.
> 
> Want to ask a guy anything - sex, relationships, personal questions, guy mentality, bro code - go ahead.


Oh man, it's so sad when a fellow 3 does this.....


----------



## wiarumas

In quote. 



isingthebodyelectric said:


> Two questions:
> 
> Do you think about having children?
> 
> Do you want any, if so or if not, why? You don't have to explain if you don't want.
> 
> *I rarely considered it. I didn't have a strong preference - I guess Id say I was okay with having kids someday. It was never really iminent enough to warrant any real consideration. That is, of course, until my wife wanted to. Then it was just a matter of financial planning and that's pretty much it. Even when my wife was pregnant and huge, I still didn't think about it much. Not much to think about really. Just a matter of planning and preparation. *
> 
> &
> Do you find ugly girls who are horny a turn off and desperate? I find that impression that guys do.
> 
> *looks matter to me (not looks alone, but physical attraction is a part of it), so a girl who is unattractive to me would be a turn off. Whether she is horny or not doesn't matter. *


----------



## wiarumas

christicake said:


> Why did you start this thread?


I wanted to expedite the process to the next membership rank/post milestone. Instead of hunting down threads to reply to, it seemed easy to have the threads come to me. I think this thread gave me around 1k posts give or take a couple hundred.


----------



## wiarumas

isingthebodyelectric said:


> It's hard to explain what I meant. I just mean the state of their horniness (word? lol) would maybe disgust you, because they aren't hot. I feel that I would be looked at disgustingly if I talked about that or sex for example, because I'm ugly. I think it effects some girls enjoying sex and their sexuality because they are treated that way. Maybe it's more of a question of should ugly girls have sex lol because if not, I have no chance.
> 
> :laughing:
> 
> Thank you guys for answering me!


I'm under the assumption that nearly everyone gets horny and engages in sex, so hearing or knowing someone is experiencing normal human biology is not surprising or disgusting to me.


----------



## Amore

Would guy B go for girl A even if guy B knew girl A and guy A were interested + had feelings for each other, but girl A flaked out on guy A and has feeling for guy B? Guy A and B are close friends.


----------



## wiarumas

Amore said:


> I'm curious, would guy B go for girl A even if guy B knew girl A and guy A were interested + had feelings for each other, but girl A flaked out on guy A and has feeling for guy B? Guy A and B are close friends.


If they are close friends, guy B should ask guy A their status/permission to see if it's clear for him to pursue. Guy A will inevitably find out so it would be pretty dumb not to check first.


----------



## wiarumas

Amore said:


> Would guy B go for girl A even if guy B knew girl A and guy A were interested + had feelings for each other, but girl A flaked out on guy A and has feeling for guy B? Guy A and B are close friends.


Also, to answer would guy B go for girl A? Yes, he could. Mostly a matter of 'how' more than 'would he' if he was interested.


----------



## Amore

wiarumas said:


> If they are close friends, guy B should ask guy A their status/permission to see if it's clear for him to pursue. Guy A will inevitably find out so it would be pretty dumb not to check first.


What if, let's say, girl A has commitment issue. Would that change the situation? I thought guy b would see that and not be interested in girl A because how she treated his buddy.


----------



## wiarumas

Amore said:


> What if, let's say, girl A has commitment issue. Would that change the situation? I thought guy b would see that and not be interested in girl A because how she treated his buddy. Plus, they're all friends.


Just because things didn't work out between those two doesn't mean it will be that way in all her relationships. 

Plus, he might be okay with it not working out. He could just want to date her and see how it goes. Some people assume that majority of relationships will inevitably end.


----------



## dagnytaggart

@wiarumas

If you had a girlfriend, you lived in the same town, but she was very busy with work, how often would you expect to see her? Would twice a month be too infrequent, even if they're quality dates? Would you be OK if she prioritized her friends, hobbies, family and work over you? (Her argument would be that she doesn't want to give up her life for a man, and that they came first, lol)


----------



## Amore

wiarumas said:


> Just because things didn't work out between those two doesn't mean it will be that way in all her relationships.
> 
> Plus, he might be okay with it not working out. He could just want to date her and see how it goes. Some people assume that majority of relationships will inevitably end.


 If it's evident that it happened to a couple of guys before she decides to pursue guy B, then I can't accept that it was just a one time thing.


----------



## android654

dagnytaggart said:


> @_wiarumas_
> 
> If you had a girlfriend, you lived in the same town, but she was very busy with work, how often would you expect to see her? Would twice a month be too infrequent, even if they're quality dates? Would you be OK if she prioritized her friends, hobbies, family and work over you? (Her argument would be that she doesn't want to give up her life for a man, and that they came first, lol)



Sounds like she doesn't have time for a man. Seems like the fair thing would be to break it off or keep it super casual.


----------



## wiarumas

dagnytaggart said:


> @wiarumas
> 
> If you had a girlfriend, you lived in the same town, but she was very busy with work, how often would you expect to see her? Would twice a month be too infrequent, even if they're quality dates? Would you be OK if she prioritized her friends, hobbies, family and work over you? (Her argument would be that she doesn't want to give up her life for a man, and that they came first, lol)


Depends on the people/couple. I would have no problem twice a month if we were both career focused and both loyal/committed to each other. My biggest issue is that she prioritized hobbies and friends over me to the point of nearly nonexistence. If you meet twice a month because you both are busy with important things, I can respect that. If you lower on the totem pole than casual things, it shows where you stand. At that point, what's the point of dating? I mean, if that's all I have time for too, Id take it. But if I found myself wanting more, Id drop her (or downgrade the relationship) and find something that better met my schedule/needs.


----------



## wiarumas

Amore said:


> If it's evident that it happened to a couple of guys before she decides to pursue guy B, then I can't accept that it was just a one time thing.


Doesn't matter if it was a one time thing or not. Guy B probably doesn't care. If you're interested, you're interested. What happened between guys X, Y, Z, doesn't matter. You might as well see how things play out. Worst case scenario is not as bad as not pursuing at all sitting alone at home. And to be honest, some intimacy is worth the fall out in some scenarios.

Besides, if I avoided all girls with commitment issues and/or bad past experiences/relationships, Id still be single and a virgin.


----------



## petite libellule

1) Do you think performing a cost/benefits type of outline for people & relationships is a wise methodology ?

what would that exactly look like ? (Please give mock sample) 

2) Would you ever lead a girl to believe you fell for another woman, had a fantastic sex life and was completely and utterly emotionally satisfied just to be a douche ? 

In other words, have you ever either outright lied or led a woman to believe you were intimately and emotionally satisfied because it was 'easier' than to deal with uncertainties or what have you? 

3) Name 3 logical reasons why relationships with women are even worth it ? 

4) Name 3 logical reasons why spending time with (name of woman u like) is worth your time?

5) Name 3 logical reasons why a woman should take you seriously as a man ? 

6) Name 3 logical reasons why a woman would want to choose to spend time their personal time considering you?

7) Name 3 things of 'value' a friend brings to your life ... 

8) As well as 3 things of value you bring to the table as well. 



* logical as in void of emotion, to logically deduce for choice *


----------



## Wellsy

NK said:


> 1) *Do you think performing a cost/benefits type of outline for people & relationships is a wise methodology ?*
> *what would that exactly look like ? (Please give mock sample) *
> I personally never done it myself but naturally emotion has people making irrational decisions, some people can be swept up with how they feel and they're willing to go get married and make life long commitments all too soon while not bothering to look at some important aspects to how they'll get along. A foundation on fickle emotion that perhaps begin to wane around 3 years is best supported by some good foresight. Not to say one should completely discount their emotions but you can have a damn good marriage presumably by accounting for important things.
> As for what it'd look like...you're pushing it to get one from me hahahaha
> 
> *2) Would you ever lead a girl to believe you fell for another woman, had a fantastic sex life and was completely and utterly emotionally satisfied just to be a douche ? *
> *In other words, have you ever either outright lied or led a woman to believe you were intimately and emotionally satisfied because it was 'easier' than to deal with uncertainties or what have you? *
> No
> *3) Name 3 logical reasons why relationships with women are even worth it ? *
> 1. More regular sex
> 2. Work as a team against lifes struggles which is where marriage is a plus due to it's legal bindings
> 3. You have someone to share experiences with, who can please you and you can get pleasure from pleasing them, sure you can do this with friends but it can be a lot more personal with more intimacy and trust.
> 
> *4) Name 3 logical reasons why spending time with (name of woman u like) is worth your time?*
> Well I have no woman of romantic interest in any woman currently and don't spend much of my time with anyone hahahaha
> But to think of any good friend
> 1. I can be completely honest with them without fear of judgment, less stress
> 2. They have a personality that meshes well with my own so we have lots of fun, fun is important in life
> 3. They distract me from my own thoughts which at some points lead to exaggerated self criticisms
> 
> *5) Name 3 logical reasons why a woman should take you seriously as a man ? *
> I'm somewhat confused as to what I should be explaining. Things tied specifically to my sex?
> 
> *6) Name 3 logical reasons why a woman would want to choose to spend time their personal time considering you?*
> This really sucks because this isn't something I have a strong opinion on, this is the sort of thing I would ask someone else.
> 1. Nope I don't know any reasons. Wouldn't know how to sell myself.
> 
> *7) Name 3 things of 'value' a friend brings to your life ... *
> 1. Humour, I can be too serious at times and it's pleasant when they force me to shut up and be silly with them
> 2. Involvement, sounds silly but im more reactive than proactive so they get me into things I wouldn't by myself
> 3. Stimulation, some friends incite stimulating conversation, nothing i've experienced is more wonderful than a good conversation
> 
> *8) As well as 3 things of value you bring to the table as well. *
> 1. Comfort, people aren't threatened by me which is relaxing for others
> 2. Trust, I don't hold any malicious intent even at my worst
> 3. Support, I can be genuinely concerned with my friends success the more I value them
> 
> * logical as in void of emotion, to logically deduce for choice *


I've made a mess of this series of questions.


----------



## petite libellule

Wellsy said:


> I've made a mess of this series of questions.


No you didn't. I appreciate your honesty because I logically conclude a person is more trustworthy the more they're honest. You can add that to why you're awesome list 

thank you


----------



## William I am

dagnytaggart said:


> @_wiarumas_
> 
> If you had a girlfriend, you lived in the same town, but she was very busy with work, how often would you expect to see her? Would twice a month be too infrequent, even if they're quality dates? Would you be OK if she prioritized her friends, hobbies, family and work over you? (Her argument would be that she doesn't want to give up her life for a man, and that they came first, lol)


Nope. That's not often enough. I don't do long distance for the same reason - it's impossible to see each other enough. But in that case, she's intentionally prioritized me to lower than her hobbies, which means I shouldn't be wasting my time with someone who doesn't value me. I've had someone say that exact thing to me about how "her friends were there first" and I should be ok with getting the scraps and leftovers of her time. That girl was a trainwreck of a person, and I wish I'd never dated her.




NK said:


> 1)
> 1) Do you think performing a cost/benefits type of outline for people & relationships is a wise methodology ?
> 
> what would that exactly look like ? (Please give mock sample)
> 
> 2) Would you ever lead a girl to believe you fell for another woman, had a fantastic sex life and was completely and utterly emotionally satisfied just to be a douche ?
> 
> In other words, have you ever either outright lied or led a woman to believe you were intimately and emotionally satisfied because it was 'easier' than to deal with uncertainties or what have you?
> 
> 3) Name 3 logical reasons why relationships with women are even worth it ?
> 
> 4) Name 3 logical reasons why spending time with (name of woman u like) is worth your time?
> 
> 5) Name 3 logical reasons why a woman should take you seriously as a man ?
> 
> 6) Name 3 logical reasons why a woman would want to choose to spend time their personal time considering you?
> 
> 7) Name 3 things of 'value' a friend brings to your life ...
> 
> 8) As well as 3 things of value you bring to the table as well.
> 
> 
> 
> * logical as in void of emotion, to logically deduce for choice *


Ahh, you added numbers. I was going to do that in this response. Many thanks.

1) I used to, but lately I've been much more open to spending time with people with no clearly defined type of interaction. It would look more like a pro/con list because it's hard to quantify all of them accurately. Basically if there are no "dealbreakers", and I'm attracted to someone, I'll date her.

2) Yes, if I understand your question right. After breaking up with a particularly nasty person, I was at a bar hitting on two women who turned out to be dating each other. I explained about how awful my ex was and they posed for a picture with me, which I sent to her with the title "I should have dumped you years ago". I'm over that kind of thing now though. I try to be as honest as I can.

3) Uh... This is difficult.
i) My biological urge to procreate pushes me to try
ii) I need one to make a family with (don't judge me for being cold, you asked for logic!)
iii) Women have insight and powers of observations beyond and in other areas than I do.



Ahh, all the rest of those sound like what I'm going to be doing in therapy today. Blah. Sorry, but I'm stopping at the first one. And the "logical" bit is screwing with my head.


----------



## android654

NK said:


> 1) Do you think performing a cost/benefits type of outline for people & relationships is a wise methodology ?


Fuck no. Cost/benefit should stay in business for a reason. I wouldn't waste months, weeks, or even days on someone if I didn't *feel* like that was someone I wanted to be with regardless of the factors surrounding her. If a relationship doesn't start with who the person is then its doomed to fail before it starts.



> what would that exactly look like ? (Please give mock sample)


Ever seen those couples that high-five? You know the ones that say they're "a team" and just look like overgrown five-year-olds let loose after a field trip? What about those stern-faced couples where each is hungrily climbing their respective career ladders, never speak to each other, and always look at one another with contempt but still decide to stay? That's what that relationship looks like, a thing of convenience between two people trying to make the best out of a bad situation where opportunities were squandered and bad luck limited the people with whom they could've interacted with.



> 2) Would you ever lead a girl to believe you fell for another woman, had a fantastic sex life and was completely and utterly emotionally satisfied just to be a douche?
> 
> In other words, have you ever either outright lied or led a woman to believe you were intimately and emotionally satisfied because it was 'easier' than to deal with uncertainties or what have you?


I don't do emotional hang-ups. It's a waste of time, requires a herculean level of emotional force and ultimately makes me irritable, bitter and angry. For the most part, things work best when things land into the fuck-buddy realm--we get along, like each other enough to hang out, and on occasion hookup.

I would never tell someone I loved them or were happy with them to get sex or not be alone. I know a lot of guys who do that, and do it because they think they're being nice or it's just how things are done. Fuck. That. Shit. People, whether you like them or not, deserve the truth. If no for them then at least for yourself. What would you be gaining from leading someone on for months or years, hoping something more suitable would come along? It's masochism at its funniest. Do yourself a favor and cut ties when things go dead. It's always better to be alone than in bad company.



> 3) Name 3 logical reasons why relationships with women are even worth it ?


There really aren't any, are there? I mean, women as a whole aren't really appealing, no more than men as a whole. Theorizing why an entire group would or should appeal enough to me, an individual, enough to warrant a logical want to be with them kind of makes no sense. Even the most promiscuous of people won't have encountered enough partners to find a logical reason why billions of people would be worth the time of considering them as a whole.



> 4) Name 3 logical reasons why spending time with (name of woman u like) is worth your time?


Because she's daring, direct, and has the Devil's smile.



> 5) Name 3 logical reasons why a woman should take you seriously as a man ?


See 3. If a woman is interested in me because I'm a man and not because of me, then I'd be inclined to assume that we communicate on different enough wavelengths that our time wouldn't be very long in the first place.



> 6) Name 3 logical reasons why a woman would want to choose to spend time their personal time considering you?


Maybe she shouldn't. I've been told I'm convoluted and complicated. There aren't many logical parts to me that can be laid out from the outside looking in. The reasons why a stranger would want to spend time with me would be all superficial--I keep conversations going, I'm aloof, and, for some unknown reason, people float their way towards me. While those things may make me seem attractive in a social setting, it isn't a profound statement on who I am as a person, just what mode I'm in in her presence.

In other words: I'm more trouble than I'm worth, but I'm fun in the short-term.



> 7) Name 3 things of 'value' a friend brings to your life ...


In order of importance: loyalty, honesty, reliance. I think of my friends as the family I wanted but never got. With that in mind, I treat them like most people *should* treat their siblings. A friend should be someone I'm willing to die for and they have those qualities.



> 8) As well as 3 things of value you bring to the table as well.


The same qualities my friends bring to me. If I can't stand by someone, tell them when they're right or wrong, and be willing to help them pick up the pieces of their lives when everything crumbles, then we're not friends.


----------



## Watch Key Phone

How do you know you are a man? (not you sex, but your gender identity)


----------



## wiarumas

In quote



NK said:


> 1) Do you think performing a cost/benefits type of outline for people & relationships is a wise methodology ?
> 
> what would that exactly look like ? (Please give mock sample)
> 
> *Everyone performs cost benefit analysis. They just don't realize it - and some aren't rational and some don't put much emphasis on the analysis part. It's essentially the thought of pros vs cons and then analyzing it. Some people weigh things differently. If you like a person because they are funny, that's a benefit. If you don't like them because they smell, that's a cost. If their funny offsets their smell, you just performed a cost benefit analysis. If your significant other beats you, but you stay with him because you love him, that's also a cost benefit analysis with the person weighing their personal feeling of love over physical pain.*
> 
> 2) Would you ever lead a girl to believe you fell for another woman, had a fantastic sex life and was completely and utterly emotionally satisfied just to be a douche ?
> 
> *I don't even understand this question, so no. *
> 
> In other words, have you ever either outright lied or led a woman to believe you were intimately and emotionally satisfied because it was 'easier' than to deal with uncertainties or what have you?
> 
> *still don't understand it. I'll just answer the first part - I don't deceive especially with complex, elaborate lies. It does not sound easier. *
> 
> 3) Name 3 logical reasons why relationships with women are even worth it ?
> 
> *1. Emotional, mental, and physical satisfaction.
> 2. Risk aversion - one partner less exposure to sexual partners/diseases, financial stability (multiple sources of income trump one), etc.
> 3. Support (2 people are better than 1) *
> 
> 4) Name 3 logical reasons why spending time with (name of woman u like) is worth your time?
> *
> 1. Relationship development (getting to know the dynamics further propels the relationship, so any time spent is an investment)
> 2. Understanding of other person (getting to know the individual further propels the relationship (or the opposite, confirms that the relationship is not worth it)
> 3. Support/companionship (eating a lunch or dinner, seeing a movie, is better with a person than alone) *
> 
> 5) Name 3 logical reasons why a woman should take you seriously as a man ?
> *
> 1. I have a penis.
> 2. I'm serious.
> 3. There is no reason not to take me serious. *
> 
> 6) Name 3 logical reasons why a woman would want to choose to spend time their personal time considering you?
> 
> *I dont expect a woman to spend their personal time "considering" me. *
> 
> 7) Name 3 things of 'value' a friend brings to your life ...
> 
> *1. Intellectual stimulation (ideas, debate, opinions, perspectives, etc.)
> 2. Support (like a SO, you can call on them if you need them. Ask a person without friends how hard it is to move haha).
> 3. Events/networking/opportunities. Most things I do are because I heard about it or was invited by a friend. Includes both professional and unprofessional.
> *
> 
> 8) As well as 3 things of value you bring to the table as well.
> 
> *same 3. *
> 
> * logical as in void of emotion, to logically deduce for choice *


----------



## wiarumas

Watch Key Phone said:


> How do you know you are a man? (not you sex, but your gender identity)


Other than the overwhelming evidence between my legs, my XY chromosome, and the hormones that run through my veins, the fact that nothing significant has generated any sort of doubt to others and myself, supports the fact that I have correctly identified as man. 

To further elaborate, how do I know I'm human? Besides the fact that I am by all definitions, human, the fact that I am not any other species further evidences the fact I am human.


----------



## Watch Key Phone

wiarumas said:


> Other than the overwhelming evidence between my legs, my XY chromosome, and the hormones that run through my veins, the fact that nothing significant has generated any sort of doubt to others and myself, supports the fact that I have correctly identified as man.
> 
> To further elaborate, how do I know I'm human? Besides the fact that I am by all definitions, human, the fact that I am not any other species further evidences the fact I am human.


That's the distinction I made in my question. I'm not talking about your sex (sex being the physical characteristics of genes, hormones, genitals etc), I mean your gender identity. How do you know you are more comfortably suited in the societal role of a man? Do you feel like a man purely because of your sex? If you woke up with a female-sex body, would you be disturbed or would you happily adapt to your new set of roles and expectations?


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

wiarumas said:


> Besides, if I avoided all girls with commitment issues and/or bad past experiences/relationships, Id still be single and a virgin.


Nothing wrong with that, though 

Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710e using Tapatalk


----------



## drmiller100

Watch Key Phone said:


> That's the distinction I made in my question. I'm not talking about your sex (sex being the physical characteristics of genes, hormones, genitals etc), I mean your gender identity. How do you know you are more comfortably suited in the societal role of a man? Do you feel like a man purely because of your sex? If you woke up with a female-sex body, would you be disturbed or would you happily adapt to your new set of roles and expectations?


Women fascinate me, and I do not understand me. If I am actually a lesbian trapped in a man's body, I'm good with that.

I'm happy being a guy.


----------



## wiarumas

Watch Key Phone said:


> That's the distinction I made in my question. I'm not talking about your sex (sex being the physical characteristics of genes, hormones, genitals etc), I mean your gender identity. How do you know you are more comfortably suited in the societal role of a man? Do you feel like a man purely because of your sex? If you woke up with a female-sex body, would you be disturbed or would you happily adapt to your new set of roles and expectations?


Yeah, I got that. What I'm saying is that because I'm genetically and biologically a male, no matter how I am, my identify qualifies as a male unless my identity is such an extreme outlier that I qualify closer to that of a woman. However since I am a male and do not feel out of place in my gender nor do I identify as anything else, I must be male. Society norms, standards, expectations, roles are mostly irrelevant and have nothing to do with my perception of self. 

I also dont like the hypothetical that I could wake up in a female body and retain a large enough portion of myself to make a judgment call based upon gender. I would be too biologically different to draw any reasonable conclusions.


----------



## petite libellule

wiarumas said:


> 1. I have a penis.
> 2. I'm serious.
> 3. There is no reason not to take me serious.


hahaha!!! I read this after work earlier and seriously laughed out loud in Starbucks! Lol!!

It was awkward.


----------



## searcheagle

NK said:


> hahaha!!! I read this after work earlier and seriously laughed at loud in Starbucks! Lol!!
> 
> It was awkward.


For some reason, I think that happens a lot to you.


----------



## petite libellule

searcheagle said:


> For some reason, I think that happens a lot to you.



Hey! LOLOL! >.<

Not my problem people are emotionally constipated and take life so seriously


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

What's the purpose of life, what's it all about?

Do you think humanity is alone or will we someday confirm the existence of extraterrestrial life?

What do you think of Creationism vs Evolution?

What are the odds that I drove my parents nuts asking them a never ending string of questions & disbelieved most of their answers?


----------



## android654

Watch Key Phone said:


> How do you know you are a man? (not you sex, but your gender identity)


I've got a dick and some balls. Beyond that, I don't give my gender any thought. I really don't get the idea of identifying with a gender so much that it forms an identity.


----------



## Wellsy

stargazing grasshopper said:


> *What's the purpose of life, what's it all about?*
> Each person defines that themselves but from my perspective it relates to people, to be do something for others seems fulfilling. Doesn't have to be charitable or anything like that but your existence somehow enhances other's lives, how one does that is up to that person's strengths and wants.
> *Do you think humanity is alone or will we someday confirm the existence of extraterrestrial life?*
> Not impossible, not sure how improbable it is really but if its to happen it's quite some years away hopefully, because if there are aliens who can reach us now, they're going to be a far more advanced civilization which raises some concerns.
> *What do you think of Creationism vs Evolution?*
> I think Evolution is like all science in my perspective, practical. Tt offers the best fit to our current understanding and is the cornerstone of biology. Could be true that there's something else that's not accounted for but I think science is a slow progression of what works best. At this point it's well established with a lot to support it and I think it helps ties things together in a transitional way that makes plenty of sense even going so far as tying back our origin to our many stars and their contents.
> 
> Creationism, I don't know too much about. I've only heard mocking references like one from Bill Hicks of the Earth being only so many thousands of years old because they added up the ages of all the people in the bible, not sure if that's actually how they come to their conclusion or genuinely if they do think the Earth is that old.
> Personally I don't like pushing a story to fit but rather looking at how things are and find possibilities that seem to come naturally. So with creationism it seems to be working backwards under the assumption that The Holy Bible is completely true which is quite a leap of faith I don't have.
> *
> What are the odds that I drove my parents nuts asking them a never ending string of questions & disbelieved most of their answers?
> *I don't know how to quantify things in that to be able to make a dodgy equation to figure out those odds.


10char


----------



## Diphenhydramine

NK said:


> 1) Do you think performing a cost/benefits type of outline for people & relationships is a wise methodology ?
> 
> what would that exactly look like ? (Please give mock sample)


 Well for me this is like many things that have cost benefits but without complete monetary input/output. If I just wanted sex I would go to Labuan every weekend and just throw money at hookers. I don't, though. I want some kind of emotional direction-connection and you can't pay for that, but waht you can accept is a higher monetary input so long as the value of the emotional reception is raised proportionately. I'm in an LDR atm and I don't mind - it's more expensive, sure, and harder generally - because I think it'd be REALLY difficult to find someone as great for me as my current partner. So in that sense it's worth the money.



NK said:


> 2) Would you ever lead a girl to believe you fell for another woman, had a fantastic sex life and was completely and utterly emotionally satisfied just to be a douche ?
> 
> In other words, have you ever either outright lied or led a woman to believe you were intimately and emotionally satisfied because it was 'easier' than to deal with uncertainties or what have you?


 I don't get what the point of this would be.



NK said:


> 3) Name 3 logical reasons why relationships with women are even worth it ?


intimacy is required for human satisfaction
sex!!!!
possible future procreation



NK said:


> 4) Name 3 logical reasons why spending time with (name of woman u like) is worth your time?


physical intimacy
emotional intimacy
sharing (inc. time) is fun 



NK said:


> 5) Name 3 logical reasons why a woman should take you seriously as a man ?


 Dunno. I have a trust fund? 



NK said:


> 6) Name 3 logical reasons why a woman would want to choose to spend time their personal time considering you?


 I think this is getting a bit self-aggrandising.



NK said:


> 7) Name 3 things of 'value' a friend brings to your life ...


someone to talk to or share ideas
someone to share physical or mental experiences
emotional-physical-financial backup



NK said:


> 8) As well as 3 things of value you bring to the table as well.


 I'm going to have to be lame and just quote the last answer.

I don't really understand the use of logical here, though, so I can't tell if you would consider my answers logical (in my mind they are.)


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

Those are some good answers, thanks for the reply.


----------



## wiarumas

In quote



stargazing grasshopper said:


> What's the purpose of life, what's it all about?
> 
> *There is no universal purpose. You choose your purpose. Or, if you have trouble finding purpose, you can defer to established purposes defined by others. It's open ended and is one of the beauties of life. *
> 
> Do you think humanity is alone or will we someday confirm the existence of extraterrestrial life?
> 
> *Humanity is not alone - we have millions of life forms with us on this planet. But I think you meant life on other planets, which probably exists, at least in some form. However, I am not certain we will ever be able to confirm if it's outside of this solar system. Space is insanely large where the short distance to mars is even mind boggling. Add in the frailty of our civilization and physical bodies, I'm not certain we will be able to escape the Petri dish we are bound (if we do, it's most likely a one way trip). *
> 
> What do you think of Creationism vs Evolution?
> 
> *Evolution occurs. It's fact. The question is, creationism vs evolution as an answer to origin that is unknown. I lean towards evolution since that's what the data supports, but only as the general mechanics of how it probably happened. The details will never be known so it's not worth worrying about. As for creationism, I don't believe in magic in any form in this present world or at any time in history so I view it as unlikely. *
> 
> What are the odds that I drove my parents nuts asking them a never ending string of questions & disbelieved most of their answers?
> 
> *odds are good you drove your parents nuts in more ways than you can ever imagine until you have kids of your own. *


In quote


----------



## Wellsy

stargazing grasshopper said:


> Those are some good answers, thanks for the reply.


I feel like I should clarify that Evolution it's self doesn't explain origin of life just development. So when I mention the stars that's more me thinking in terms of how they are likely to have help prompt life upon their deaths and then things built up with the help of evolution.


----------



## petite libellule

Diphenhydramine said:


> I think this is getting a bit self-aggrandising.


Why? I don't see it that way at all. I can think of 3 logical reasons why someone might consider me as a good partner. I can also think of 3 reasons why they wouldn't ... I think it was more about self awareness and the logical interpretation thereof. 

Thereof. That's my word for the day, lol! 

thank you though ) 

I really appreciated your answers especially since you sound very happy in a satisfying relationship. 
Always lovely to hear. ^.^ I live vicariously


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Two questions: Do you find ugly girls who are horny a turn off and desperate? I find that impression that guys do.


1st - How are we to interpret the "girl" as ugly?
More specific: Are they asthetically challenged or are they cruel, manipulative "girls" that require a decade of maturity?


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

wiarumas said:


> In quote
> 
> 
> In quote


Thanks for your perspective. 
I'm the proud father of 3 grown whippersnappers. Raising children was far easier than I expected & although there's always room for improvement, I'm happy with the results so far.


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

Wellsy said:


> I feel like I should clarify that Evolution itself doesn't explain origin of life just development. So when I mention the stars that's more me thinking in terms of how they are likely to have help prompt life upon their deaths and then things built up with the help of evolution.


I got that you were alluding to the evolution of everything can be reduced to the forces of nature being responsible for the observable universe, including the human species.
Hence the strong nuclear force is responsible for nucleosynthesis, elements other than H, He & Li were created within the hearts of stars & dispersed throughout the universe when those stars expired violently. 

We are one of the products of continuously recycled cosmic ash.


----------



## wiarumas

Seemed relevant. Or I'm just looking for an excuse to post this whenever I get the chance haha.


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

isingthebodyelectric said:


> It's hard to explain what I meant. I just mean the state of their horniness (word? lol) would maybe disgust you, because they aren't hot. I feel that I would be looked at disgustingly if I talked about that or sex for example, because I'm ugly.


Are you attempting to confess that you've an elephant trunk protruding from your face? Just kidding but your use of the term "aren't hot" is a clue as to the source of your anxiety.
In these days of elective cosmetic surgery, air brushing photographs & video editing, the standard which people measure themselves by is all too often an illusion & sometimes an outright deception perpetrated by greedy corporations.

I'd suggest you leave the Barbie standard behind, be yourself & better love yourself for who you are.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I suspect you're overly self critical & that plenty of guys find you attractive.

Regarding your clarification of "the state of their horniness would maybe disgust you, because they aren't hot". Sweetie; I doubt you're going to meet very many guys that are disgusted by a sexually excited woman.
If that's been your experience with men then you may need to raise your standards a bit.





isingthebodyelectric said:


> I think it effects some girls enjoying sex and their sexuality because they are treated that way. Maybe it's more of a question of should ugly girls have sex lol because if not, I have no chance!


I'd again suggest that you're suffering from a distorted self image.
Avoid selfish people that would treat you in that way. Almost everybody is deserving of being loved & enjoying a satisfying sexual relationship. 
I truly hope you can work through your self image issues because there's somebody for everybody out there.

Hang in there.


----------



## William I am

Watch Key Phone said:


> That's the distinction I made in my question. I'm not talking about your sex (sex being the physical characteristics of genes, hormones, genitals etc), I mean your gender identity. How do you know you are more comfortably suited in the societal role of a man? Do you feel like a man purely because of your sex? If you woke up with a female-sex body, would you be disturbed or would you happily adapt to your new set of roles and expectations?


I'm a man, but I've always been told I'm too feminine (and I don't think I'm particularly feminine). I work on cars and do DIY stuff all the time, own a motorcycle, and shave with a straight razor. I also am a really good cook and love to nurture and be kind to kids and am emotionally sensitive.
I'm pretty much a man because I embraced that it's what I have to work with and because I don't want to try changing my body to make other people more comfortable with how I am.

If I woke up as a woman one day, I'd embrace it at least temporarily because I've always been curious what it would be like and jealous of how many different ways women can experience sexual pleasure (and how many conveniently shaped objects exist for women and how people are willing to sleep with you fairly easily). I suspect you get just as much shit and gender policing as men do (if not more), but maybe not about the things I've gotten it about. How exactly it happened would rattle and confuse me, of course, but oh well.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

William I am said:


> I'm a man, but I've always been told I'm too feminine (and I don't think I'm particularly feminine). I work on cars and do DIY stuff all the time, own a motorcycle, and shave with a straight razor. I also am a really good cook and love to nurture and be kind to kids and am emotionally sensitive.


Are those things naturally feminine then? If I were a guy and I was told I was 'too feminine' I would take it as a compliment not an insult because there's nothing wrong with that. But, that is a really odd thing to say, for sure.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

stargazing grasshopper said:


> 1st - How are we to interpret the "girl" as ugly?
> More specific: Are they asthetically challenged or are they cruel, manipulative "girls" that require a decade of maturity?


I suppose that would be of their own preference and opinion. I mean astheticaly challenged, not personality wise. I don't think personality comes into male judgement of females 98% of the time, anyway. But thanks for answering my questions, you've been really helpful!


----------



## Diphenhydramine

NK said:


> Why? I don't see it that way at all. I can think of 3 logical reasons why someone might consider me as a good partner. I can also think of 3 reasons why they wouldn't ... I think it was more about self awareness and the logical interpretation thereof.


 I think I would sound like a total cunt if I listed all the things about myself that I thought were logically appealing! If people notice them, then good: if they don't, well, it won't make a difference if I state them, so honestly, I have hardly thought about it. :X is that weird?


----------



## Diphenhydramine

wiarumas said:


> Yeah, I got that. What I'm saying is that because I'm genetically and biologically a male, no matter how I am, my identify qualifies as a male unless my identity is such an extreme outlier that I qualify closer to that of a woman. However since I am a male and do not feel out of place in my gender nor do I identify as anything else, I must be male. Society norms, standards, expectations, roles are mostly irrelevant and have nothing to do with my perception of self.
> 
> I also dont like the hypothetical that I could wake up in a female body and retain a large enough portion of myself to make a judgment call based upon gender. I would be too biologically different to draw any reasonable conclusions.


 Right, this is the answer I wanted to write - my default position would be "Why wouldn't I be?" I can't think of any reasons that I would be a woman, so I am a man: and I've never thought about it (I suspect the majority of people, but perhaps less men than women, never think about their gender.)


----------



## William I am

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Are those things naturally feminine then? If I were a guy and I was told I was 'too feminine' I would take it as a compliment not an insult because there's nothing wrong with that. But, that is a really odd thing to say, for sure.


According to a lot of people (I grew up with a bunch of religious hicks), those things are naturally feminine. Screw 'em though.


----------



## petite libellule

DUDE. Why are you guys so complicated?!?! Seriously. ISTP friend. SJ friend. Now ENTP friend. You guys are the most complicated creatures ever!!! I refuse to play games because dude ... I have better things to do with my time. Must every man assume I'm chasing his penis if I'm seeking his company ? Is that what's going on here?! More than half of these men don't even want me romantically anyways so WTF is the problem! Why do men act so weird! Your moods and wants change more than you change your underwear. GEEEEZ!!!! 

I'll take the last 3 months as a clear sign that men don't want women as friends unless you're fucking or pursuing them. 

Is that an accurate assumption ?

why or why not ?


----------



## Wellsy

NK said:


> I'll take the last 3 months as a clear sign that men don't want women as friends unless you're fucking or pursuing them.
> 
> Is that an accurate assumption ?
> 
> why or why not ?


hahahaha So revved up Miss Kitty.

Sure it's a reasonable assumption, doesn't make it fact though.
People are hardly ever clear with their intentions because brutal honesty doesn't go down well more often than not.
I suppose if you're curious about one's intentions you lay it on them straight and explain where you're coming from.
I tend to think many problems come from assumptions/expectations and miscommunication, there's no wonderful system of social interaction and so there are going to be problems. 

Are you let down that these men want to do these things? Because life is going to be difficult if you expect most men to be asexual hahahaha So perhaps there needs to be a new way of approaching this compared to now as to avoid this dilemma?


----------



## William I am

NK said:


> DUDE. Why are you guys so complicated?!?! Seriously. ISTP friend. SJ friend. Now ENTP friend. You guys are the most complicated creatures ever!!! I refuse to play games because dude ... I have better things to do with my time. Must every man assume I'm chasing his penis if I'm seeking his company ? Is that what's going on here?! More than half of these men don't even want me romantically anyways so WTF is the problem! Why do men act so weird! Your moods and wants change more than you change your underwear. GEEEEZ!!!!
> 
> I'll take the last 3 months as a clear sign that men don't want women as friends unless you're fucking or pursuing them.
> 
> Is that an accurate assumption ?
> 
> why or why not ?



Well...... Yeah we are complicated. I don't even understand myself. I want somebody who is willing to be around (like up close and personal) when I want them and who will willingly and gladly disappear for the 2-3 hours per day (or per 2 days) I like to spend alone. Also, I'm just becoming aware of my own personal wants and needs and feelings and changing over time, like all people do.

Yes, that is an accurate assumption, in general.

A few points:
1) Most men who are looking for someone to sleep with will assume that anyone expressing interest in them is interested sexually because that's the most optimistic thing to assume and more importantly not assuming that and acting appropriately (for the assumption that you want sex) means that they will absolutely definitely not wind up having sex with you. Basically they assume yes because anything else guarantees no.

2) A lot of women express the sentiment "oh, we can't date, but we can be friends." Well, that's a nice sentiment and all, but how many female friends do you want me to have? I can't (and won't be bothered to try to) be friends with every girl I ask out who shoots me down. Not only do I not want to be friends with someone I'm extremely interested in (because it's painful to watch them date other people), but every relationship can be given a pro-con list, and the "wants to sleep with me" but moreover "wants to love me" is a huge pro. Personally, I only maintain about 3 or 4 real friendships at a time. I have like 400 acquaintances and "friends" but they're not really friends. Yes, I would like to be not-enemies, but that does not mean I want to be friends.

3) Many men and women have very little in common. A lot of friendships are "waiting until they are single when I'm single"-ships. Those drive me nuts. I need to watch how much time I spend on anyone, especially given that I have boundaries issues (but that's off-topic). I just don't have unlimited time and I want to spend some on myself. There'd better be a good reason for someone to want to take up a lot of my time - I have to be getting that effort and concern and care back some way or another.

4) Honestly, I just can't stand most people. They're insincere and full of shit (at least in CA) and they are flakey beyond beleif and selfish and I could go on, but most people just rub me the wrong way. There are people I would date (casually or semi-casually) but who I wouldn't want to be friends with because that no/sex tips the scale between worth my time and not. I can't have sex with my friends (which I think is pretty stupid. Where are the free-love communes, damnit!?), and that cuts out a lot of the socially-approved expressions of intimacy and closeness.


If you want male friends, be up front with them. Call them bro or dude or whatever. Treat them like male friends treat each other or some way that's specific to them - not like female friends and not like male love interests. Until your friendship is established, don't spend time with them alone or doing unusually intimate things. It takes me a full year to begin to really trust and feel comfortable with someone as a friend or girlfriend, and even then it's not complete. 


I hope that helps. Try not to take it personally or take it as being devalued to a sex object, keep in mind that we are humans with limits on our time and resources and we can't be friends with everyone we were once interested in dating.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

> A lot of women express the sentiment "oh, we can't date, but we can be friends." Well, that's a nice sentiment and all, but how many female friends do you want me to have? I can't (and won't be bothered to try to) be friends with every girl I ask out who shoots me down. Not only do I not want to be friends with someone I'm extremely interested in (because it's painful to watch them date other people), but every relationship can be given a pro-con list, and the "wants to sleep with me" but moreover "wants to love me" is a huge pro. Personally, I only maintain about 3 or 4 real friendships at a time. I have like 400 acquaintances and "friends" but they're not really friends. Yes, I would like to be not-enemies, but that does not mean I want to be friends


That sounds concerning. Can people not be friends with people unless they want something sexually from them? When they are no longer available for sexual purposes, you just don't want to be their friend anymore? I wish people didn't think like that..


----------



## petite libellule

Wellsy said:


> hahahaha So revved up Miss Kitty.


:blushed: I had cramps.



Wellsy said:


> Are you let down that these men want to do these things? Because life is going to be difficult if you expect most men to be asexual hahahaha So perhaps there needs to be a new way of approaching this compared to now as to avoid this dilemma?


But if a man can't be a good friend to me, what makes him think he'd make a good boyfriend for me ? 
& vice versa too

MAN LOGIC --> 


people are not "one size fits all" silly goose!. :tongue: 



p.s. I LOVE your new avatar! that would be such a cool painting to have.


----------



## android654

NK said:


> DUDE. Why are you guys so complicated?!?! Seriously. ISTP friend. SJ friend. Now ENTP friend. You guys are the most complicated creatures ever!!! I refuse to play games because dude ... I have better things to do with my time. Must every man assume I'm chasing his penis if I'm seeking his company ? Is that what's going on here?! More than half of these men don't even want me romantically anyways so WTF is the problem! Why do men act so weird! Your moods and wants change more than you change your underwear. GEEEEZ!!!!
> 
> I'll take the last 3 months as a clear sign that men don't want women as friends unless you're fucking or pursuing them.
> 
> Is that an accurate assumption ?
> 
> why or why not ?


You can make just about any assumption about a group and have it be right. Stop focusing on 'men' so much; you'll never figure them out because there's nothing there to figure out.



NK said:


> :blushed: I had cramps.
> 
> 
> But if a man can't be a good friend to me, what makes him think he'd make a good boyfriend for me ?
> & vice versa too
> 
> MAN LOGIC -->


If you're only finding guys looking to fuck or make you fall in love with them, then perhaps you should reevaluate how you're meeting these people.


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> If you're only finding guys looking to fuck or make you fall in love with them, then perhaps you should reevaluate how you're meeting these people.


bare in mind that there is often genuine interest in friendship because I really enjoy the persons company! but for the sake of simplicity and on topic with regards to dating:

I play the game of numbers and haven't limited options each time I've put myself "out there". I meet people through friends (which is difficult because most are married). I meet people at meetups, online dating, and activities I'm involved in like occasional volunteering at my moms work events. - stuff like that. the major problem is that I typically stay home a lot and in all reality, I've always been more of a home body even before my son. so I go out with "friends" and try to get to know them. they're all aware I'm not looking for casual sex. the times I have attempted casual it never goes well as in, I just can't relax enough for that to pan out. so I don't know ... I don't really know how else to meet people. seriously. how else do you meet people when out of college?

another problem I notice is that often times, men focus on themselves and internalize all sorts of information that has nothing to do with them! (that's SJ dude). Just ... ugh. don't get me started. all I got to say is that yes - you're right not to focus on the whole because men are people and people ARE complicated regardless. I get that. It was more or less a generalized inquiry for whatever slim pickings insight it might yield. MUCH of my post/threads are set up that way to be honest.


----------



## petite libellule

oh yeah, that and I had cramps so was a little overly sensitive. :blushed:

:tongue: HAHAHAHA!!!!!


----------



## Wellsy

NK said:


> :blushed: I had cramps.
> *Fair enough, sounds stressful*
> 
> But if a man can't be a good friend to me, what makes him think he'd make a good boyfriend for me ?
> & vice versa too
> *Well I would follow that in that I imagine a good relationship would be the combination of a solid friendship with sexual attraction.*
> MAN LOGIC -->
> 
> 
> people are not "one size fits all" silly goose!. :tongue:
> *Certainly, but many similarities in people to exploit as well *
> 
> 
> p.s. I LOVE your new avatar! that would be such a cool painting to have.


Thank you, I love it too. Found it after I heard of a type of art style called Energism.


----------



## William I am

NK said:


> But if a man can't be a good friend to me, what makes him think he'd make a good boyfriend for me ?
> & vice versa too


This applies to you too.



isingthebodyelectric said:


> That sounds concerning. Can people not be friends with people unless they want something sexually from them? When they are no longer available for sexual purposes, you just don't want to be their friend anymore? I wish people didn't think like that..


Did you not read the rest of my post? I thought I made it clear that that is not the issue at all.
Of the 2-3 friends I have right now, one is a guy I've known for 10 years, the other is a girl I've known for 3 years and who I never have and never could have sexual attraction to her (she's good looking, but I'm just not interested), and the other is a girl who I asked out and later became friends with because I permanently lost interest (though sometimes I wonder if I really did).

For me, romantic relationships and platonic friendships are different on the scale of the differences between fish and motorcycles. They are not really similar in any way. For me, and I think many men would agree, dating is one thing and friendship is another. I could never date a true friend because they become like family. 

I think my key issue here is that women tend to think of dating as being something "more" than a friend and I think of dating as being something "other" than a friend. 
If I want to date someone, I want to date them - I don't want to be platonic friends with them (because quite simply my feelings don't change except in rare circumstances). If I want to be friends with someone, I want to be platonic friends with them and nothing else - again because my feelings don't change and the underlying basis for the relationship is completely different.

Whatever my feelings happen to be, asking (or expecting me) to act like they are different for your comfort is not only unfair, it' cruel and dishonest. You wouldn't try to force one of your friends to date you, why would you try to force one of your dates to be your friend?


----------



## wiarumas

NK said:


> DUDE. Why are you guys so complicated?!?! Seriously. ISTP friend. SJ friend. Now ENTP friend. You guys are the most complicated creatures ever!!! I refuse to play games because dude ... I have better things to do with my time. Must every man assume I'm chasing his penis if I'm seeking his company ? Is that what's going on here?! More than half of these men don't even want me romantically anyways so WTF is the problem! Why do men act so weird! Your moods and wants change more than you change your underwear. GEEEEZ!!!!
> 
> I'll take the last 3 months as a clear sign that men don't want women as friends unless you're fucking or pursuing them.
> 
> Is that an accurate assumption ?
> 
> why or why not ?


Your assumption is closer to truth than not. Though you can probably remove the pursuing part.

It comes down to one thing. No, not sex. Priorities. 

It's not that sex is our only care or that men don't want to be friends without sex, it's just that some men have the urge for sex and sexual relationships that take priority over platonic relationships. If I have two girls, one wants to be friends and the other wants a sexual relationship, guess who I'm going to spend all my time with? In fact, the girl doesn't even have to want a relationship. Just the hope that we could is enough to forget all about that girl who wanted to be just friends. That other girl, I wanted to be friends with her but i forgot to text/email her back for a couple years and turned down all invites because I had plans that resulted in orgasm.

For example, ex bf who is just friends - he's hanging out just because someday he might reignite things. The more and more unlikely hell ever get any, you'll notice the farther and farther he'll be. Mention any vulnerability, being lonely, and you'll notice how quickly they'll reappear in your life. 

Now, I'm sure not all guys do this, but a good chunk of them do. And even guys who claim to be nice guys still fall victim to their hormonal urges. 

So, what are you looking for exactly? Judging from your post it sounds like mixed expectations. Also, consider the setting/scenario. I'm assuming at a girls night out you are at a location where a vast majority of men are looking primarily for sex only (and an even larger portion are the ones that approach you at such a location - the good guys probably seem out of place and won't ever approach a woman in that setting).


----------



## wiarumas

NK said:


> :blushed: I had cramps.
> 
> 
> But if a man can't be a good friend to me, what makes him think he'd make a good boyfriend for me ?
> & vice versa too
> 
> MAN LOGIC -->
> 
> 
> people are not "one size fits all" silly goose!. :tongue:
> 
> 
> 
> p.s. I LOVE your new avatar! that would be such a cool painting to have.


A lot of men fear the friend bucket and avoid it at all costs. Women frequently say this, but a lot of men view a sexless friendship as the green mile. You'll do your time and end up being the emotional support when the girl starts chasing other guys. Like William I am (I think) said, no guy likes to hear the details about a girl a guy likes as she fails with men (not to mention when they complain about guys and the friend is basically waving their arms in her face as she dismisses him as he is just a friend and not viewed like that). 

Now, not all men avoid friendship like that. Personally, i was friends with girls I didn't desire a sexual relationship with, but for the most part it was a one way friendship. The girl would always come to me, want to come see me, etc. I was there for her when she needs, but I never pursued her. I was too busy pursuing women who I had a chance with. Those girls may have liked me though. Or at least that's what my wife said as she chased them all away. Not sure. lol


----------



## Diphenhydramine

Ceteris paribus (and before I had a girlfriend) given the choice between hanging out with two people, one of which I might be able to have sex with and the other never, the "never" is going to have to have some pretty good stuff to make up for that, sorry. I mean it's possible, for sure, but rare.


----------



## FearAndTrembling

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Why do some men make fun of and make sarcastic remarks about women they don't find attractive? I mean, is it just to bully and tease? I walked past a few guys the other night and one said 'She's alright' in an obvious sarcastic way, I think, but if you haven't anything nice to say, why say anything at all?
> 
> Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710e using Tapatalk


He was hitting on you. It isn't always graceful. 

He was just trying to look cool. Don't think too much of it.


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Why do some men make fun of and make sarcastic remarks about women they don't find attractive? I mean, is it just to bully and tease? I walked past a few guys the other night and one said 'She's alright' in an obvious sarcastic way, I think, but if you haven't anything nice to say, why say anything at all?
> 
> Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710e using Tapatalk


Ignorance, immaturity, fear & very poor role models! Some of those jerks are probable examples of monkey see - monkey do, they learned such behavior from other boys rather than a grown man teaching them to treat people with respect.


----------



## monemi

What is the most meaningful thing you have in your life right now? 

How do you respond to personal crises in your life? 

What is the most valuable gift someone could give you?


----------



## FearAndTrembling

monemi said:


> What is the most meaningful thing you have in your life right now?
> 
> How do you respond to personal crises in your life?
> 
> What is the most valuable gift someone could give you?


1. the most important thing is my health and the health of my family and friends

2. I blame others first, instinctually. 

3. good question. themselves? INFJ like to form connections with people.

I want your feet though too


----------



## Ephemerald

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Thanks for answering my question. Would the level of friendliness and time you spent talking to 'less attractive' women be of lesser quality, if you get what I mean?


Often the women I talk to most are those I have no intentions ever dating, because I've friend-zoned them. Consequently, we have great, free expression--even with explicit content. The ones I find attractive, especially mentally, I'm wary around and choose my words carefully at first. I'm constantly telling myself "don't F it up."


----------



## Wellsy

monemi said:


> *What is the most meaningful thing you have in your life right now? *
> Not sure, need to experience more as I lack direction in life with not knowing what I really want.
> But I generally attribute great value to people even if I enjoy most of my time to myself. Without others to share with things are hellish.
> *How do you respond to personal crises in your life? *
> Suppose what crisis it is. I reacted poorly when I thought someone I had a strong emotional attachment to was going to cut contact with me and I wasted an entire day feeling gutted, spent hours listening to the same song just sitting on my bed. Other situations with violence and yelling I feel stressed internally and so I seek to end that reasonably.
> Mostly I ask questions to myself to get different perspectives on a problem and think of what's best to deal with it if my mind hasn't frizzled.
> *What is the most valuable gift someone could give you?*


Perhaps showing their vulnerability,comfort or trust in me. I like it when people don't feel threatened by me and at ease with sharing their personal & sincere thoughts. It's the most interesting part about people when they share themselves. It doesn't have to be exclusive confiding in me just that they're willing to share. Some people will share anything because they're open and honest about such things and one needs only ask.


----------



## mimesis

*What is the most meaningful thing you have in your life right now? *
The ability to create or find meaning and value. 
*
How do you respond to personal crises in your life? *
I withdraw, and usually don't come out or communicate this until I've figured it out for myself more or less. 

*What is the most valuable gift someone could give you?*
Depends on the person, and the situation. A drawing from my niece can make me happy. Small things in life can make me feel happy and grateful. But I've also been in the fortunate situation that I was able to shake hands with for instance George Clinton, and other (favorite) artists, to thank them for well...'everything'. Valuable moments, small gestures. A friend taught me how to meditate, at a critical point in my life. That was pretty damn meaningful and valuable, even though it only took him 2 hours of his time. Because of that (as a tool for introspection and elaboration) I was able to feel grateful for a lot of things I didn't feel grateful for, until then. So that's why the ability to create significance and value is the most meaningful to me. Like beauty is in the eye of the beholder.


----------



## drmiller100

]What is the most meaningful thing you have in your life right now? Love.

How do you respond to personal crises in your life? I don't know I have any big ones. The little ones I deal with. Right now I am in a period of ramping back up at life. 

What is the most valuable gift someone could give you? I dream of finding a confident powerful lady capable of understanding me who loves me for who I am.
The most valuable gift most people can give me is Truth. The vast majority of people are not capable of Truth.

Are both my answers to the last question the same? I think so.


----------



## wiarumas

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Why do some men make fun of and make sarcastic remarks about women they don't find attractive? I mean, is it just to bully and tease? I walked past a few guys the other night and one said 'She's alright' in an obvious sarcastic way, I think, but if you haven't anything nice to say, why say anything at all?
> 
> Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710e using Tapatalk


I don't think they are doing it to tease or bully. I think they are ignorant of you entirely - either naturally not considering your feelings or choosing to devalue them. I believe they are doing it for personal reasons - to have a feeling of superiority and to share that with their peers.


----------



## wiarumas

In quote



monemi said:


> What is the most meaningful thing you have in your life right now?
> 
> *after careful consideration - my son probably. *
> 
> How do you respond to personal crises in your life?
> 
> *never had a crisis. I chunk things into manageable parts and take the appropriate steps to handle them so they don't become a crisis. *
> 
> What is the most valuable gift someone could give you?
> 
> *not sure. Hard question. Since intangible things aren't measurable, it would be difficult to place value on things for comparison. So Id opt for a strictly monetary value to measure the most valuable gift. An italia, aventador, or GT3 would be nice haha. Plus I'd argue things like love or happiness arent a gift. It's earned. *


----------



## drmiller100

wiarumas said:


> In quote


I disagree. Love is not earned.

Love is freely given. Sometimes recognized.


----------



## wiarumas

drmiller100 said:


> I disagree. Love is not earned.
> 
> Love is freely given. Sometimes recognized.


What I meant was...

Love is freely given and recognized, but not for no reason. Love and a successful relationship require a lot of work and feelings of love are earned in time if that makes sense. It's the result of an investment of time, experience, devotion in an individual.

When you experience love, what occurred prior to reach that point? If those things didn't take place, could love still be freely given?


----------



## monemi

wiarumas said:


> What I meant was...
> 
> Love is freely given and recognized, but not for no reason. Love and a successful relationship require a lot of work and feelings of love are earned in time if that makes sense. It's the result of an investment of time, experience, devotion in an individual.
> 
> When you experience love, what occurred prior to reach that point? If those things didn't take place, could love still be freely given?


My love for my children wasn't earned.


----------



## wiarumas

monemi said:


> My love for my children wasn't earned.


I personally didn't love my children from conception. My love for my child was the result from the months of anticipation and preparation prior to birth and the time invested in raising him after birth.


----------



## monemi

wiarumas said:


> I personally didn't love my children from conception. My love for my child was the result from the months of anticipation and preparation prior to birth and the time invested in raising him after birth.


Yes, but your children didn't earn your love. What did they purposely do, to earn your love?


----------



## wiarumas

monemi said:


> Yes, but your children didn't earn your love. What did they purposely do, to earn your love?


There isn't anything specific they have to do. I said it's earned in time.

To give a negative example, if I were to donate sperm and a woman used it without informing me for artificial insemination, I would feel no love for that child if I met them after 20 years of not knowing them. And I would expect him to not have much love for me either because of my absence.


----------



## marsec

monemi said:


> *What is the most meaningful thing you have in your life right now? *
> 
> Sadly nothing. I've been existing in an extremely apathetic state lately where the only thing I really look forward to is having a few cold ones and turning up the jazz when I get home. I honestly wonder where people find their meaning in life and I envy the person who has something they care about deeply.
> 
> *How do you respond to personal crises in your life*?
> 
> Nothing is really a crisis, it's all a matter of perspective. When things come up you just need to deal with them if they are getting in the way. You can deal with them by removing the obstacle or changing your perspective if that isn't possible.
> 
> Crises seem to happen more to the people around me than they do to me. One man's crisis is another man's "whatever".
> 
> *What is the most valuable gift someone could give you?*
> 
> Good question, I'm not quite sure. I suppose the time I appreciated a gift the most was when it was extremely thoughtful. One time my ex brought me a personalized and autographed framed photo of Captain Picard for our anniversary and it took me completely by surprise. Never once had I told her I enjoyed the show, and never had I watched it religiously around her (she maybe saw me seeing it once or twice). For her to figure out TNG was one of the few things I enjoyed just amazed me. Combine that with the fact she probably took an entire day off to go meet Patrick Stewart at a convention to get him to sign it; I felt both very loved and like the biggest ass at the same time (since I didn't even realize it was our anniversary).
> 
> Thoughtful gifts don't always have to be that extreme, I think all that matters is they aren't completely generic and have some element of personal significance to be valuable to me.


Hope this helps


----------



## monemi

wiarumas said:


> There isn't anything specific they have to do. I said it's earned in time.
> 
> To give a negative example, if I were to donate sperm and a woman used it without informing me for artificial insemination, I would feel no love for that child if I met them after 20 years of not knowing them. And I would expect him to not have much love for me either because of my absence.


I suppose I don't see simply existing over a period time as earning. I didn't love my children from conception. I grew to love them as I got to know them. But I don't see that as them earning anything.


----------



## drmiller100

wiarumas said:


> What I meant was...
> 
> Love is freely given and recognized, but not for no reason. Love and a successful relationship require a lot of work and feelings of love are earned in time if that makes sense. It's the result of an investment of time, experience, devotion in an individual.
> 
> When you experience love, what occurred prior to reach that point? If those things didn't take place, could love still be freely given?


I strongly disagree. We are different, and that is ok.


----------



## android654

monemi said:


> What is the most meaningful thing you have in your life right now?


My work. I'm rather obsessed with my work, my process, and everything involved in my writing. Second to that is my health. I'm seriously considering entering an amateur circuit next spring, so my concentration at the gym and my diet has been switched on high. Thirdly, my friend's career. We've been really close for a lot of years, and the help he's given me with my work makes his work important to me too.

You're probably wondering why I listed three. Well, by brain's wired crazy enough that, depending on the time of day, any one of these things can become my "most important thing in my life."



> How do you respond to personal crises in your life?


I detach, remove myself from the person(s) responsible or involved, find quiet, and evaluate the situation. If I think the crises is salvageable, then I'll try and fix it. But if it looks damaged beyond repair, I'm not above disconnecting and removing myself entirely. It's very difficult for me to do second chances with people. So if I learn that they are responsible for the crises, it'll be hard for me to forgive.



> What is the most valuable gift someone could give you?


I don't put that high a value on tangible things--anything I want or need, I generally buy as soon as I need/want it. The exception would be a thing that has some kind of meaning attached to it, but then the meaning would vary in its worth to me as well. I suppose I'd have to go with something intangible: Understanding and seeking to be understood. Which I guess would translate to emotional intimacy, as cheesy as that sounds. Most women I meet are enjoyable on the surface, but we only touch a certain depth before the bottom falls out and it cycles all over again with someone else. It's all rather draining to go through.


----------



## wiarumas

monemi said:


> I suppose I don't see simply existing over a period time as earning. I didn't love my children from conception. I grew to love them as I got to know them. But I don't see that as them earning anything.


I agree, that's why I said in my original post that it's about spending time, experiences, etc. 

The mentioning of earning is only part of it. Maybe it's because I'm a type 3 and want to achieve the best possible result. But when it comes to a relationship, I expect to get out only what I put in. If I make no effort, I don't expect much in return. I'm sure my son may have loved me as a person when he got to know me, but a big part of it is me being the shoulder he slept on, the guy feeding him, changing his diapers, taking him places, playing toy trains with him, etc. I could have not been around but I chose to be a good father, and the act of being there earned the relationship we have.


----------



## monemi

wiarumas said:


> I agree, that's why I said in my original post that it's about spending time, experiences, etc.
> 
> The mentioning of earning is only part of it. Maybe it's because I'm a type 3 and want to achieve the best possible result. But when it comes to a relationship, I expect to get out only what I put in. If I make no effort, I don't expect much in return. I'm sure my son may have loved me as a person when he got to know me, but a big part of it is me being the shoulder he slept on, the guy feeding him, changing his diapers, taking him places, playing toy trains with him, etc. I could have not been around but I chose to be a good father, and the act of being there earned the relationship we have.


I agree. Love is an action. I grew to love my children starting with parenting them. I didn't whole heartedly love them at birth. It was caring for them that I came to love them. It wasn't instant. But if anyone earned love in my eyes, I earned the love I feel for them parenting them. They weren't capable of earning love yet. 

I grew to love my husband when we were dating. But he didn't earn it. He was a wonderful boyfriend. But I've had a wonderful boyfriend before but didn't love him. He couldn't earn my love. Not because he wasn't good enough or anything like that. I just didn't. I suppose love is an action. We actively choose who we treat with love, care and affection. Love grows over time. But I'm not convinced that anyone can earn love.


----------



## wiarumas

monemi said:


> I agree. Love is an action. I grew to love my children starting with parenting them. I didn't whole heartedly love them at birth. It was caring for them that I came to love them. It wasn't instant. But if anyone earned love in my eyes, I earned the love I feel for them parenting them. They weren't capable of earning love yet.
> 
> I grew to love my husband when we were dating. But he didn't earn it. He was a wonderful boyfriend. But I've had a wonderful boyfriend before but didn't love him. He couldn't earn my love. Not because he wasn't good enough or anything like that. I just didn't. I suppose love is an action. We actively choose who we treat with love, care and affection. Love grows over time. But I'm not convinced that anyone can earn love.


It takes both. You have to be the right person and earn it. Simply having half the equation is not deserving IMO.


----------



## monemi

wiarumas said:


> It takes both. You have to be the right person and earn it. Simply having half the equation is not deserving IMO.


When a romantic relationship, you need love on both sides to make it work. But unrequited love is an old and well known story. In a parenting relationship, it can take years before I really think love is returned and it's never an equal thing. I will never love my parents as much as they love me. My kids will never love me as much as I love them. Such is life.


----------



## ronrz567

How do men usually fare when they prioritize goals other than reproduction in their life?


----------



## StandardLawyer

ronrz567 said:


> How do men usually fare when they prioritize goals other than reproduction in their life?


Everybody has goals they would want to accomplish at some point.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

What would possess a man to randomly tell a woman she looks very beautiful?


----------



## Wellsy

isingthebodyelectric said:


> What would possess a man to randomly tell a woman she looks very beautiful?


- Social norm of other men voicing their opinion of women's body
- She stands out in someway that he wanted to compliment on the effort she put in
- Trying to butter her up for some hidden motive while ignoring the fact that it's something most men would say making it very unoriginal and boring
- Perhaps felt she looked down and thought it was a compliment that could lighten her mood somewhat
- Is his partner and she expects it hahaha

I'm running out of ideas.


----------



## mimesis

isingthebodyelectric said:


> What would possess a man to randomly tell a woman she looks very beautiful?





Wellsy said:


> - Social norm of other men voicing their opinion of women's body
> - She stands out in someway that he wanted to compliment on the effort she put in
> - Trying to butter her up for some hidden motive while ignoring the fact that it's something most men would say making it very unoriginal and boring
> - Perhaps felt she looked down and thought it was a compliment that could lighten her mood somewhat
> - Is his partner and she expects it hahaha
> 
> I'm running out of ideas.


...because he thinks she looks beautiful?


----------



## Wellsy

mimesis said:


> ...because he thinks she looks beautiful?


I thought 2nd point was covering that.
But I can see your point hahaha


----------



## mimesis

Wellsy said:


> I thought 2nd point was covering that.
> But I can see your point hahaha


With 2 (and 5) I think of this funny Dutch commercial of a (typical) situation, meaning you can see the SO noticing something is different about her, but can't seem to figure out exactly what effort she had put it. :tongue: (and her pretending not to expect it).


----------



## ronrz567

how do women usually convince men to try a dildo?


----------



## Snakecharmer

ronrz567 said:


> how do women usually convince men to try a dildo?


Is the woman using it on the man, or vice versa? Because I've found most men are very resistant to anything being put near their butt.


----------



## drmiller100

Snakecharmer said:


> Is the woman using it on the man, or vice versa? Because I've found most men are very resistant to anything being put near their butt.


I am kind of one way about that.


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

isingthebodyelectric said:


> What would possess a man to randomly tell a woman she looks very beautiful?


Honesty?


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

ronrz567 said:


> how do women usually convince men to try a dildo?


The question you've posed is too vague.
It's unclear whether you're referring to a woman wanting a man to penetrate her with a dildo or if you're referring to a woman penetrating a man with a dildo.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

stargazing grasshopper said:


> Honesty?


Are men honest when saying that?

Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710e using Tapatalk


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Are men honest when saying that?
> 
> Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710e using Tapatalk


Ask the person face to face, you'll know from their facial expressions & body language.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

stargazing grasshopper said:


> Ask the person face to face, you'll know from their facial expressions & body language.


Hm. It was a random person though, so I can't really do that lol I just doubt a lot of things men tell me and say to me. Well, people in general, really.


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Hm. It was a random person though, so I can't really do that lol I just doubt a lot of things men tell me and say to me. Well, people in general, really.


Do you have issues with trusting men more so than women?


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

stargazing grasshopper said:


> Do you have issues with trusting men more so than women?


Absolutely. I don't trust them at all.


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Absolutely. I don't trust them at all.


That's unfortunate!


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

Don't take this the wrong way, but the link below may help you to idenify areas that you could improve upon.
I've a bit of OC that I need to work on & my sense of humor may also be off a smidge.

Personality Disorder Test

more also http://similarminds.com/personality_tests.html


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

stargazing grasshopper said:


> Don't take this the wrong way, but the link below may help you to idenify areas that you could improve upon.
> I've a bit of OC that I need to work on & my sense of humor may also be off a smidge.
> 
> Personality Disorder Test
> 
> more also SimilarMinds.com > Personality Tests


What kind of areas?


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

isingthebodyelectric said:


> What kind of areas?


My intent is that everybody could benefit from self improvement but I've no idea regarding any aspects of your personality which may benefit from self improvement. 
I'd suggest that you know yourself better than anybody else & you'd be well aware of your strengths & weaknesses.


----------



## ficsci

I have a question for the guys here

Have you ever received a handjob from a guitar/bass/string instrument player with really stiff calluses on his/her fingers? XD

Or ever fantasized getting one?


----------



## Snakecharmer

I have a question.

Would you, a few weeks into a relationship that got serious fast, get upset about this?

I have an old friend on FB whom I "met" on a fitness forum years ago. We've been friends on FB for years but have never met in real life - we haven't even talked on the phone. He's in his 60s and has a girlfriend. Sometimes we have some silly flirty banter on FB. Last night I posted this quote on my wall:

“I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.” 

I posted it with my boyfriend in mind - he's very funny. Well...my old friend (I'll call him D) commented and said, "That's sad." I said, "What? Oh, I know what you are getting at." He made some other comment (I deleted all of it and can't remember what it was). Then I said, "I'm good" meaning that I have it all with my bf...humor, etc. Then D posted "You're good when you're good, but when you're bad, you're better". I posted a winky smiley and that was the end of the conversation.

Boyfriend texted me last night FURIOUS over that conversation. He said it looked like me and D were or are fucking. He questioned me about it and I explained that we are old friends and sometimes we joke like that, and that it doesn't mean anything.

He went off on me about it via text. I asked if I could call him and he said it would be best for us not to talk when he's that angry.

I'm pretty sure he is going to break up with me over this. And if he doesn't, I probably should end things...does this sound like an anger problem? This is a guy who has women flirt with him all the time on FB...he tells me they send him messages and he claims to ignore them. He's very into working out and is gorgeous. I'm not sure if he is actually insecure or just has a huge ego that causes him to get this upset over a little conversation. I think I'd be jealous if he had the same conversation with a woman, but I'd believe him if he explained the situation.

Last weekend he told me that he used to have serious jealousy and control issues. I'm thinking he still does.

Thoughts? Would you freak out on your gf over a conversation like that and say "I'm tempted to say fuck this" and throw it all away?


----------



## Crimson Ash

ficsci said:


> I have a question for the guys here
> 
> Have you ever received a handjob from a guitar/bass/string instrument player with really stiff calluses on his/her fingers? XD
> 
> Or ever fantasized getting one?


I'm finding it quite difficult to understand the angle of this question. 

But calluses are not a problem. :wink: 

(hey wait...aren't you a bass player? xD )




Snakecharmer said:


> I have a question.
> 
> Would you, a few weeks into a relationship that got serious fast, get upset about this?
> 
> I have an old friend on FB whom I "met" on a fitness forum years ago. We've been friends on FB for years but have never met in real life - we haven't even talked on the phone. He's in his 60s and has a girlfriend. Sometimes we have some silly flirty banter on FB. Last night I posted this quote on my wall:
> 
> “I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.”
> 
> I posted it with my boyfriend in mind - he's very funny. Well...my old friend (I'll call him D) commented and said, "That's sad." I said, "What? Oh, I know what you are getting at." He made some other comment (I deleted all of it and can't remember what it was). Then I said, "I'm good" meaning that I have it all with my bf...humor, etc. Then D posted "You're good when you're good, but when you're bad, you're better". I posted a winky smiley and that was the end of the conversation.
> 
> Boyfriend texted me last night FURIOUS over that conversation. He said it looked like me and D were or are fucking. He questioned me about it and I explained that we are old friends and sometimes we joke like that, and that it doesn't mean anything.
> 
> He went off on me about it via text. I asked if I could call him and he said it would be best for us not to talk when he's that angry.
> 
> I'm pretty sure he is going to break up with me over this. And if he doesn't, I probably should end things...does this sound like an anger problem? This is a guy who has women flirt with him all the time on FB...he tells me they send him messages and he claims to ignore them. He's very into working out and is gorgeous. I'm not sure if he is actually insecure or just has a huge ego that causes him to get this upset over a little conversation. I think I'd be jealous if he had the same conversation with a woman, but I'd believe him if he explained the situation.
> 
> Last weekend he told me that he used to have serious jealousy and control issues. I'm thinking he still does.
> 
> Thoughts? Would you freak out on your gf over a conversation like that and say "I'm tempted to say fuck this" and throw it all away?


Would I get upset? probably. Would I go into a raging fit about it? no. If she said she was just friends I would accept it.

I think one of the main reasons as to why I would get upset would be because of the public aspect of it. Social media is all manner of annoying because everyone you know sees the stuff related to you, and there is always that nosy friend who gets all up in everyone's business about things on there and uses it as their own personal web gossip portal.

But going by your response you understand perfectly well as to why he would be upset the same way you would in a similar situation. 

Throw it all away for something as silly as this though? No. Unless of course I have some serious trust issues or hold no value in the relationship.


----------



## All in Twilight

Snakecharmer said:


> I have a question.
> 
> Would you, a few weeks into a relationship that got serious fast, get upset about this?
> 
> I have an old friend on FB whom I "met" on a fitness forum years ago. We've been friends on FB for years but have never met in real life - we haven't even talked on the phone. He's in his 60s and has a girlfriend. Sometimes we have some silly flirty banter on FB. Last night I posted this quote on my wall:
> 
> “I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.”
> 
> I posted it with my boyfriend in mind - he's very funny. Well...my old friend (I'll call him D) commented and said, "That's sad." I said, "What? Oh, I know what you are getting at." He made some other comment (I deleted all of it and can't remember what it was). Then I said, "I'm good" meaning that I have it all with my bf...humor, etc. Then D posted "You're good when you're good, but when you're bad, you're better". I posted a winky smiley and that was the end of the conversation.
> 
> Boyfriend texted me last night FURIOUS over that conversation. He said it looked like me and D were or are fucking. He questioned me about it and I explained that we are old friends and sometimes we joke like that, and that it doesn't mean anything.
> 
> He went off on me about it via text. I asked if I could call him and he said it would be best for us not to talk when he's that angry.
> 
> I'm pretty sure he is going to break up with me over this. And if he doesn't, I probably should end things...does this sound like an anger problem? This is a guy who has women flirt with him all the time on FB...he tells me they send him messages and he claims to ignore them. He's very into working out and is gorgeous. I'm not sure if he is actually insecure or just has a huge ego that causes him to get this upset over a little conversation. I think I'd be jealous if he had the same conversation with a woman, but I'd believe him if he explained the situation.
> 
> Last weekend he told me that he used to have serious jealousy and control issues. I'm thinking he still does.
> 
> Thoughts? Would you freak out on your gf over a conversation like that and say "I'm tempted to say fuck this" and throw it all away?


Is this the first time it happened?

If I would have a jealousy problem but I really like the girl (ask yourself if this is even possible but alright for the sake of the conversation....), would I flip out the first time? I don't think so. I'd rather watch and see what happens later on in the relationship and flip out later xD This is really a harsh (and childish) accusation based on what really?

Cut him off right away. Talk to him, be serious and take him seriously, and tell him you're not a cheater. Also tell him this is the first and last warning; he can either believe you or let him suffer with his jealousy issues somewhere else but next time his issues won't be at your expense. People like that can really wear you out in the long run.

Now...since you forgot what it was all about, just be careful with what you write in public next time anyway (you probably have 600 friends or something), I don't like it either if my gf is flirting with some guy I don't know (she knows better but I don't know that, you see) and you're in or out with me. 

The best tip I can actually give you is not to be friends with your lover on FB. It will only lead to shit; think of the fact that there is no body language and this alone can lead to many awkward conversations and misinterpretations. Just look at this place alone.


----------



## ficsci

UtterMess said:


> I'm finding it quite difficult to understand the angle of this question.
> 
> But calluses are not a problem. :wink:
> 
> (hey wait...aren't you a bass player? xD )


That is exactly why I was wondering... XD Like, would it hurt?


----------



## drmiller100

Snakecharmer said:


> I have a question.
> 
> Would you, a few weeks into a relationship that got serious fast, get upset about this?


How are your shins? Black and blue? 

Notice that?

THAT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE STUMBLING AROUND ALL THE RED FLAGS STACKING UP AROUND WHICH YOU CONTINUE TO IGNORE!!!!

hugs.

hugs

hugs


----------



## Snakecharmer

Everything is okay now. He felt disrespected, and I get that...he had a right to feel that way. The guy on FB really does flirt and the conversation did look bad. He's right on this one.


----------



## wiarumas

ronrz567 said:


> How do men usually fare when they prioritize goals other than reproduction in their life?


All things equal, I think they fare better financially, and may have an easier time achieving their goals, but it's not a huge difference (ie, a lawyer with kids is not at huge disadvantage compared to a lawyer without kids). 

I also think that a person is quite capable of both - there is a difference between prioritizing goals vs abandoning goals for children.


----------



## wiarumas

isingthebodyelectric said:


> What would possess a man to randomly tell a woman she looks very beautiful?


He is just speaking his mind. There is no hidden meaning.


----------



## Crimson Ash

ficsci said:


> That is exactly why I was wondering... XD Like, would it hurt?


Why would it hurt? xD

Its a different feeling no doubt but it doesn't hurt.


----------



## android654

ficsci said:


> I have a question for the guys here
> 
> Have you ever received a handjob from a guitar/bass/string instrument player with really stiff calluses on his/her fingers? XD
> 
> Or ever fantasized getting one?



Not a musician, but a boxer. She was dedicated, so her hands were all kinds of rough, and yes it was great. Haven't had a musician before, but a women with an instrument is probably one of the sexiest images I can conjure into my mind.


----------



## wiarumas

ronrz567 said:


> how do women usually convince men to try a dildo?


I didn't read ahead so I'm not sure if you clarified this question, but I don't think there is a universal way to convince all men to do something. It's up to the individual. I would just casually mention it and see their thought on it. 

I think he would be more inclined to use it on you (pretty simple request really - if it's what you want done to you I see no reason to object). But on him, besides the taboo nature of it, asking permission to do something to another person really is dependent on what they want done to them. If he doesn't like that, there probably won't be any convincing.


----------



## wiarumas

ficsci said:


> I have a question for the guys here
> 
> Have you ever received a handjob from a guitar/bass/string instrument player with really stiff calluses on his/her fingers? XD
> 
> Or ever fantasized getting one?


Fantasized about one? No. 

Ever received one? Plenty... Considering I've personally played bass and guitar for quite some time haha. 

I don't notice a difference. That is, I don't primarily use my index and middle finger in a manner to notice any distinguishable difference. Nor am I sure I would be able to notice a difference if I did.


----------



## wiarumas

Snakecharmer said:


> I have a question.
> 
> Would you, a few weeks into a relationship that got serious fast, get upset about this?
> 
> I have an old friend on FB whom I "met" on a fitness forum years ago. We've been friends on FB for years but have never met in real life - we haven't even talked on the phone. He's in his 60s and has a girlfriend. Sometimes we have some silly flirty banter on FB. Last night I posted this quote on my wall:
> 
> “I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.”
> 
> I posted it with my boyfriend in mind - he's very funny. Well...my old friend (I'll call him D) commented and said, "That's sad." I said, "What? Oh, I know what you are getting at." He made some other comment (I deleted all of it and can't remember what it was). Then I said, "I'm good" meaning that I have it all with my bf...humor, etc. Then D posted "You're good when you're good, but when you're bad, you're better". I posted a winky smiley and that was the end of the conversation.
> 
> Boyfriend texted me last night FURIOUS over that conversation. He said it looked like me and D were or are fucking. He questioned me about it and I explained that we are old friends and sometimes we joke like that, and that it doesn't mean anything.
> 
> He went off on me about it via text. I asked if I could call him and he said it would be best for us not to talk when he's that angry.
> 
> I'm pretty sure he is going to break up with me over this. And if he doesn't, I probably should end things...does this sound like an anger problem? This is a guy who has women flirt with him all the time on FB...he tells me they send him messages and he claims to ignore them. He's very into working out and is gorgeous. I'm not sure if he is actually insecure or just has a huge ego that causes him to get this upset over a little conversation. I think I'd be jealous if he had the same conversation with a woman, but I'd believe him if he explained the situation.
> 
> Last weekend he told me that he used to have serious jealousy and control issues. I'm thinking he still does.
> 
> Thoughts? Would you freak out on your gf over a conversation like that and say "I'm tempted to say fuck this" and throw it all away?


It definitely strikes me as a jealousy thing followed by anger issues. 

I would personally ask the girl about it too, but I'd take and trust her word if she clarified. That is, if she seemed like a trustworthy person. Either way I wouldn't blow up on her. Id just take it in and let time dictate if her words match her actions or vice versa. At this point in the relationship you are probably still trying to see what kind of person each other is. 

Also, you bring up his physique to suggest he doesn't have insecurity/confidence issues, but it's not uncommon that some people who put a lot of time into image are doing it to cope with insecurities because physical appearance is something that copes with underlying issues/insecurities and gives a sense of control. 

If he dwells on this, or repeats the behavior, I'd ditch him. But I would personally wait this one out and see if he can come back to the land of rational thinking and get over his irrational tirade.


----------



## William I am

Snakecharmer said:


> I have a question.
> 
> Would you, a few weeks into a relationship that got serious fast, get upset about this?
> 
> I have an old friend on FB whom I "met" on a fitness forum years ago. We've been friends on FB for years but have never met in real life - we haven't even talked on the phone. He's in his 60s and has a girlfriend. Sometimes we have some silly flirty banter on FB. Last night I posted this quote on my wall:
> 
> “I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.”
> 
> I posted it with my boyfriend in mind - he's very funny. Well...my old friend (I'll call him D) commented and said, "That's sad." I said, "What? Oh, I know what you are getting at." He made some other comment (I deleted all of it and can't remember what it was). Then I said, "I'm good" meaning that I have it all with my bf...humor, etc. Then D posted "You're good when you're good, but when you're bad, you're better". I posted a winky smiley and that was the end of the conversation.
> 
> Boyfriend texted me last night FURIOUS over that conversation. He said it looked like me and D were or are fucking. He questioned me about it and I explained that we are old friends and sometimes we joke like that, and that it doesn't mean anything.
> 
> He went off on me about it via text. I asked if I could call him and he said it would be best for us not to talk when he's that angry.
> 
> I'm pretty sure he is going to break up with me over this. And if he doesn't, I probably should end things...does this sound like an anger problem? This is a guy who has women flirt with him all the time on FB...he tells me they send him messages and he claims to ignore them. He's very into working out and is gorgeous. I'm not sure if he is actually insecure or just has a huge ego that causes him to get this upset over a little conversation. I think I'd be jealous if he had the same conversation with a woman, but I'd believe him if he explained the situation.
> 
> Last weekend he told me that he used to have serious jealousy and control issues. I'm thinking he still does.
> 
> Thoughts? Would you freak out on your gf over a conversation like that and say "I'm tempted to say fuck this" and throw it all away?


Me 5 years ago - Yep. I would absolutely lose my shit over that. Especially since you deleted part of it. Then again I had trust issues and wasn't as mature.

Me now - I'd probably still get a little upset, but I would explain that I'm not ok or comfortable with it and that if you care about my feelings you'll stop doing things like that. If you tell me tough shit at that point, I wouldn't stick around.
He's telling you when people try to flirt with him, and he's telling you that he's shutting them down. That probably means he wants you to at least shut them down when they try. It might also indicate that he's overly worried about it.
If there's sufficient trust in the relationship, it won't really be an issue. Maybe it's a pet peeve of his.


----------



## Snakecharmer

I didn't delete anything until he told me he was upset about the conversation. He's right - I can see where it would have come off as inappropriate.

We are fine now.


----------



## William I am

isingthebodyelectric said:


> What would possess a man to randomly tell a woman she looks very beautiful?


Sex. That's how some men hit on women. Even with the thinking she looks sad and trying to cheer her up, it's superficial and encouraging her to be nicer to look at.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

William I am said:


> Sex. That's how some men hit on women. Even with the thinking she looks sad and trying to cheer her up, *it's superficial* and encouraging her to be nicer to look at.


Sounds about right. Thanks!


----------



## Blazy

isingthebodyelectric said:


> What would possess a man to randomly tell a woman she looks very beautiful?


Man wants sex with said woman.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Wh1zkey said:


> Man wants sex with said woman.


Even a man who is passing quickly and makes no other conversation and doesn't see her again?


----------



## Donovan

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Sounds about right. Thanks!


not always. does the person really think that's going to get him sex? what would the stats on his "record" be--like, .5/10 with the approach of, "hey! your beautiful--my place?"...? 

there can be many reasons, and in fact, it would make less (social) sense to start out that way because it would look like he's trying to get into her pants... the whole thing doesn't make sense, and if that's the reason, it's kind of lame.


i compliment people that i know well, because i want to, and i know how it'll make them feel. i really don't do it to strangers--even if i want to--for the very thought you have in your head (lol).


----------



## drmiller100

Donovan said:


> n
> 
> i compliment people that i know well, because i want to, and i know how it'll make them feel. i really don't do it to strangers--even if i want to--for the very thought you have in your head (lol).


I complement people because I want to.

Most people are drab. sometimes you wander across a woman who is happy, looks you in the eye, and is loving life. Perhaps you can tell she is proud of something - a pair of boots, hair, something like that. 

I will complement her on it, and mean it. Done right, it brings an even bigger smile to her face and makes her day even better.


----------



## nevermore

Wh1zkey said:


> Man wants sex with said woman.


I never got the behaviour though, if this is really the motivation...it's not like he's actually going to "get some" by calling her hot. More likely he'll just be seen as creepy or weird, though maybe there are some women who would actually like this.

A more specific compliment is different; that could genuinely be a form of flattery, but I normally like to compliment people I actually know...y'know, people I actually care about making feel good, not people who are just passing by...

Maybe it is about getting attention, even if it's negative attention, from a woman he thinks is attractive. But this is more behaviour you would expect from people stalking a celebrity...why would you feel honoured to have a woman look at you for a negative reason?

Maybe it's just some irrepressible urge to announce his attraction...idk why, but I can't see any strategic mating strategy here (not one that makes sense anyway...)


----------



## Blazy

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Even a man who is passing quickly and makes no other conversation and doesn't see her again?


Yes.


----------



## William I am

It doesn't have to lead to actual sex, just a sexual/romantic connection. Cheap thrills can include making a cute girl blush and much more sinister actions. 
And it's hard to judge people on anything other than their appearance initially, but their body is really not something people have *that* much control over.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Wh1zkey said:


> Yes.


That makes me feel somewhat depressed.

Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710e using Tapatalk


----------



## nevermore

William I am said:


> It doesn't have to lead to actual sex, just a sexual/romantic connection. Cheap thrills can include making a cute girl blush and much more sinister actions.


I can appreciate that, if you figure the woman will be attracted to you in turn (otherwise what is the motive, unless you just want to make someone feel good which I suppose is admirable), but there is a time and a place for it. Someone saying "you're pretty" out of nowhere can be weird, especially if you are a woman. They tend to be insecure around men they don't know, just a subconscious thing.

We are physically stronger and when confronted in a vaguely sexual way outside the proper context it unnerves them, can sometimes even make them feel vulnerable or subconsciously fear something worse may be coming. Yes it's depressing to always have to "prove you're safe" as a man, especially when you have to do it over and over again when making friends or what have you. It takes more of an emotional toll than most women realize...but so do many things men do, and frankly I'd rather be in a situation where I at least don't feel threatened. In any case, when you are physically weaker it makes sense to be safer than sorry. 

I realize you can get away with a lot if you've got charisma, and there are definitely situations where you can sensitively mention that you find a woman attractive - maybe you will even get that blush in return, and perhaps in it an implication that she finds you attractive as well.

Please keep in mind I'm not criticizing you (maybe you're not guilty of this at all, just explaining the reasons on it) - and to reiterate, complimenting someone on their looks in the right context is far from a bad thing. But this tendency has grates me a lot. In random situations it just defeats the point of complimenting someone...to make them feel good.


----------



## monemi

nevermore said:


> I can appreciate that, if you figure the woman will be attracted to you in turn (otherwise what is the motive, unless you just want to make someone feel good which I suppose is admirable), but there is a time and a place for it. Someone saying "you're pretty" out of nowhere can be weird, especially if you are a woman. They tend to be insecure around men they don't know, just a subconscious thing.
> 
> We are physically stronger and when confronted in a vaguely sexual way outside the proper context it unnerves them, can sometimes even make them feel vulnerable or subconsciously fear something worse may be coming. Yes it's depressing to always have to "prove you're safe" as a man, especially when you have to do it over and over again when making friends or what have you. It takes more of an emotional toll than most women realize...but so do many things men do, and frankly I'd rather be in a situation where I at least don't feel threatened. In any case, when you are physically weaker it makes sense to be safer than sorry.
> 
> I realize you can get away with a lot if you've got charisma, and there are definitely situations where you can sensitively mention that you find a woman attractive - maybe you will even get that blush in return, and perhaps in it an implication that she finds you attractive as well.
> 
> Please keep in mind I'm not criticizing you (maybe you're not guilty of this at all, just explaining the reasons on it) - and to reiterate, complimenting someone on their looks in the right context is far from a bad thing. But this tendency has grates me a lot. In random situations it just defeats the point of complimenting someone...to make them feel good.


I think size/strength is only a small part of the equation. From a young age, women have it drummed in their heads that strange men are a threat. At least, I got the message loud and clear that strange men are potential threats. Being approached by a strange man, despite my efforts to be open minded, still causes me to tense up. And I say this as someone who has very low anxiety levels and extroverted and social. I like people. I don't want to be a distrustful person. But admittedly, there is a certain amount of insecurity in this situation.


----------



## nevermore

monemi said:


> I think size/strength is only a small part of the equation. From a young age, women have it drummed in their heads that strange men are a threat. At least, I got the message loud and clear that strange men are potential threats. Being approached by a strange man, despite my efforts to be open minded, still causes me to tense up. And I say this as someone who has very low anxiety levels and extroverted and social. I like people. I don't want to be a distrustful person. But admittedly, there is a certain amount of insecurity in this situation.


You may well be right. I'm admit I'm trying to understand this from the outside, so a lot of this is just my own theories. Maybe it's more comforting for me to think this is biological and thus unavoidable on some level...

I have noticed it's more common in women from certain cultural backgrounds, and stronger in Canada and the US than it is in the UK (though I realize you're from there), and most particularly common near or in large cities.


----------



## monemi

nevermore said:


> You may well be right. I'm admit I'm trying to understand this from the outside, so a lot of this is just my own theories. Maybe it's more comforting for me to think this is biological and thus unavoidable on some level...
> 
> I have noticed it's more common in women from certain cultural backgrounds, and stronger in Canada and the US than it is in the UK (though I realize you're from there), and most particularly common near or in large cities.


I grew up in major cities. My parents tried not to incite fear in their daughter. But I know friend's parents emphasized the importance of safety but in terms of 'men are dangerous'. Their 'oh so helpful' parents liked to inform that I could be 'easily' overpowered. Yes, lets go through life scared witless. :dry: It's good to teach kids to be cautious about their safety. It's another thing to drum prejudice into their head. Some people are dangerous. Men are not dangerous. There's a difference.


----------



## android654

What is your opinion of women who use the "sexy baby" voice? If they use it exclusively wit you and not others? Infantile, adult women?

For those of your fortunate enough to not have experienced this, here's an example:






And in case you're wondering, yes, it is a real thing.


----------



## Crimson Ash

android654 said:


> What is your opinion of women who use the "sexy baby" voice? If they use it exclusively wit you and not others? Infantile, adult women?
> 
> For those of your fortunate enough to not have experienced this, here's an example:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And in case you're wondering, yes, it is a real thing.


I do believe that the gif below is sufficient to express my opinion about this matter.












There is something seriously wrong with the women who do this and the men who find this even remotely attractive.

I mean if you naturally do generate that tone then there isn't a problem but when its used in that context I just find it highly disturbing.


----------



## android654

Just to clarify, sexy baby voice does not solely rely on pitch and tone, which can vary by any person for a number of uncontrollable reasons. SBV does include a childish form of speaking and behaving, a tailoring to one's speech to try and sound infantile and insipid, and it is supplemented by either having or adapting a tone that sounds child-like.

Speech pathologists have a term for it: vocal fry, a one-time speech disorder like a lisp or stammer. And when vocal fry is adapted with a high-pitched voice, you get SBV. Think Kim Kardashian's pattern of speaking.

New speech pattern of young women:

http://news.sciencemag.org/social-sc...ng-u.s.-speech

It has actually reached epidemic status.


----------



## wiarumas

android654 said:


> What is your opinion of women who use the "sexy baby" voice? If they use it exclusively wit you and not others? Infantile, adult women?
> 
> For those of your fortunate enough to not have experienced this, here's an example:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And in case you're wondering, yes, it is a real thing.


I don't like it nor hate it. I just find it weird and a bit off putting. And I don't think I could respect or take a person like that seriously. 

It seems like it's some type of manipulation and I don't trust people who play games like that.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

I've literally never heard any woman in real life do a voice like that. Is it more of an American thing?


----------



## android654

isingthebodyelectric said:


> I've literally never heard any woman in real life do a voice like that. Is it more of an American thing?


Consider yourself lucky, because it is an actual thing that I've come across a lot. In fact, at a lot of "meet markets" (clubs, parties, bars) you'll find it quite a bit along with a whole host of disgustingly annoying vocal stereotypes that a lot of women sport.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

android654 said:


> Consider yourself lucky, because it is an actual thing that I've come across a lot. In fact, at a lot of "meet markets" (clubs, parties, bars) you'll find it quite a bit along with a whole host of disgustingly annoying vocal stereotypes that a lot of women sport.


I don't try to be judgmental but I'd judge a grown person putting on a voice like that. It's very unsettling. It's okay when talking to babies and animals but to other grown ups? No.


----------



## ronrz567

Are men with larger genitals usually lacking in other areas? (Like having poor health, aging faster, getting bald sooner, lower intelligence, etc) or is this a myth?


----------



## wiarumas

ronrz567 said:


> Are men with larger genitals usually lacking in other areas? (Like having poor health, aging faster, getting bald sooner, lower intelligence, etc) or is this a myth?


Myth. And one I've never heard before too. 

Genetics is a roll of the dice with options determined by your parents. They are not mutually exclusive. 

Though there is usually a glimmer of misunderstood fact behind myths and old wives tales. I would imagine maybe something along the lines of testosterone correlating to hormones, penis size, hair loss, odor, etc. Pseudo science, but usually good enough for people to take it and run with it.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Do all straight men only care about tits? Seems this way.


----------



## William I am

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Do all straight men only care about tits? Seems this way.


What do you mean only? Tits are not in the list of top 5 important things physical and otherwise for me, and I'm straight, so no.

Face & Eyes
Personality
Overall attractiveness
body fat %-age
Butt
Hair


Yeah, I can't even really say that more than 5 things are really important. Nice breasts are great, and I enjoy c-dd cups, but whatever size. The only thing that really matters is that they're fun to play with for both people (read: sensitive).


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

William I am said:


> What do you mean only? Tits are not in the list of top 5 important things physical and otherwise for me, and I'm straight, so no.
> 
> Face & Eyes
> Personality
> Overall attractiveness
> body fat %-age
> Butt
> Hair
> 
> 
> Yeah, I can't even really say that more than 5 things are really important. Nice breasts are great, and I enjoy c-dd cups, but whatever size. The only thing that really matters is that they're fun to play with for both people (read: sensitive).


Sorry, I meant big tits for that original question lol


----------



## android654

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Do all straight men only care about tits? Seems this way.





isingthebodyelectric said:


> Sorry, I meant big tits for that original question lol


Different people for different things. I've personally been with women of varying sizes from completely flat to size F busts, and if I had to pick I'd prefer smaller rather than bigger. they tend to look better, better shape, better symmetry, and--even though you can quantify it, but it has been my experience--women with smaller breasts usually have more appealing frames to me. But then again I'm very much into rail-thin women and athletic women, so small breasts come with the territory. Whatever your size, I wouldn't give it much thought; there's more than enough differences in tastes to include just about everyone.


----------



## wiarumas

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Do all straight men only care about tits? Seems this way.


No all two guys care about the same things. Some do, some like asses, both, neither. 

Personally, size doesn't mean much to me, rather how they look in general with her body as a whole. But I also don't have a preference for them. I like a nice pair, but if there are better parts on her, I'll end up favoring those. It's about what she has, not about what she doesn't have.


----------



## drmiller100

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Sorry, I meant big tits for that original question lol


i have played with A cups, and H cups. 

and pretty much everything in between. 

I like them all equally. Far more important is the soul they are attached to.


----------



## 7rr7s

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Do all straight men only care about tits? Seems this way.


I'm more of an ass man myself, but all men have different preferences. Personally, I think it would depend on her body. If she's super thin and lanky with enormous breasts, what would be a bit much. But I've dated with with A cups and double Ds before. It doesn't really make much of a difference to me. But Anything past DD is a bit much for me. This is usually the case with overweight women, but that's a different subject. 

Like I said though, it;s a personal preference. I have a friend who only dates overweight women and cheated on his last girlfriend because he found a girl with Gs. 

On a sidenote, I remember hearing something about how men are attracted to breasts because they resemble the ass, and most males mate from behind or something. Most likely pseudoscience but just thought I'd throw it in there. Ass for the win though.


----------



## DustyWind

Why do all men smell like musk and radiate heat like a furnace?


----------



## Biracial

Why do men have nipples?


----------



## ATLeow

Biracial said:


> Why do men have nipples?


If I recall correctly...
All humans-in-development start out as female foetuses. The default state of 'man' is female, not male; hormonal influence, and (not universally, but that's another story) different chromosomes creates male babies.
The reason men have nipples is because women have nipples. Because man is a variation of woman and not vice-versa, the question is not why men _have_ nipples, but why they would evolve away given that they are there by default, since women have them. They're not big, they don't get in the way, they present no hindrance to survival whatsoever. Therefore evolution saw no reason to get rid of them, and voilà, nipples.
Plus you could argue they have decorative value.


----------



## Crimson Ash

Biracial said:


> Why do men have nipples?


----------



## Wellsy

DustyWind said:


> Why do all men smell like musk and radiate heat like a furnace?


The smell i don't know, guessing sweat?
The furnace part I don't know but why are women so cold then? I'm always warmer than my girl friends.


----------



## DustyWind

Wellsy said:


> The smell i don't know, guessing sweat?
> The furnace part I don't know but why are women so cold then? I'm always warmer than my girl friends.


Maybe because you're like the raging Vesuvius volcano, and women are like the humans being burned alive by your all-powerful magma juice. 

The musk is probably a mixture of things, since I often entertain homeless men. Makes me want to know what a clean man smells like, though :/


----------



## carlaviii

DustyWind said:


> Why do all men smell like musk and radiate heat like a furnace?


You say that like it's a bad thing.


----------



## DustyWind

carlaviii said:


> You say that like it's a bad thing.


I was abused by a musky furnace when I was a child


----------



## ronrz567

The musk probably has to do with masturbating and semen ending up on the body and sweating differently due to masturbation. Even with proper cleaning, some of that stuff might be left there somehow and women can smell things better than men generally. Plus most deodorants, perfumes etc for men are made to smell similar to that instead of rosy/petal smells made for women.


----------



## ronrz567

Is it still possible to achieve an orgasm even with erectile dysfunction?


----------



## WildImagineer

ronrz567 said:


> Is it still possible to achieve an orgasm even with erectile dysfunction?


Sounds like a question for a doctor, not an internet thread.


----------



## WildImagineer

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Do all straight men only care about tits? Seems this way.


What would you prefer us care about? Some women enjoy it when I nuzzle their breasts.


----------



## Biracial

UtterMess said:


>


Good video.
It's funny that a lot of people think the male nipple will eventually evolve away.


----------



## nevermore

ronrz567 said:


> Is it still possible to achieve an orgasm even with erectile dysfunction?


There are prostate orgasms, of course, but otherwise...technically, not. At least I think that's the case...but "I'm not sure it matters" would be my real answer. You can get feelings that are just as good if not better than orgasm if sensitive parts of your body are stimulated, without even getting an erection. Just get your partner to suck on you the right way and in the right place.


----------



## Afruabarkio

wiarumas said:


> I'm an ENTJ type 3 male.
> 
> Ive done it all from being in a band, fraternity, marriage, parenting, and everything in between. I have genius level IQ, paint, cook, write poetry, short stories, novels, shoot guns, work on cars, etc.
> 
> Want to ask a guy anything - sex, relationships, personal questions, guy mentality, bro code - go ahead.



What are the best things in your life?

Do men should feel protected? What may that implicate in the context of the social and romantic relantionships?

Do you enjoy any kind of violence during sex?

Do you think condescendence is a form of invalidation?

What is love? 

Are you able to have an orgasm at the same time than your wife? Does it make it more enjoyable?


----------



## William I am

ronrz567 said:


> Is it still possible to achieve an orgasm even with erectile dysfunction?


As someone with intermittent ED, yes it's possible, but you need to be able to maintain some erection. Mine is much better now that my low testosterone is treated.


----------



## William I am

Afruabarkio said:


> What are the best things in your life?
> 
> Do men should feel protected? What may that implicate in the context of the social and romantic relantionships?
> 
> Do you enjoy any kind of violence during sex?
> 
> Do you think condescendence is a form of invalidation?
> 
> What is love?
> 
> Are you able to have an orgasm at the same time than your wife? Does it make it more enjoyable?


Friendship, community, family, pets (of which I have none right now)

Protected? I don't understand what you mean. I don't feel particularly protected, but I think I am more than I think I am.

No, I do not enjoy violence in sex. It's a major turn-off for me.

Yes, condescension is assuming that the other person is unable to think or understand something.

Love? That's a tough one. Love is caring for someone like they are a part of you, but there are a lot of limits.


I'm not married, but I've done this with several girlfriends. It's immaculately enjoyable to have simultaneous orgasms.


----------



## 7rr7s

Afruabarkio said:


> What are the best things in your life?
> 
> *My talents, my luck, and my family and friends.
> *
> Do men should feel protected? What may that implicate in the context of the social and romantic relantionships?
> 
> *It's like in boxing. Protect yourself at all times. I protect myself but I don't expect others to do it for me. Any risks I take socially, romantically or any other area of my life for that matter, I already know what I'm getting myself into and protect myself accordingly. *
> 
> Do you enjoy any kind of violence during sex?
> 
> *It depends on what you consider violent. I like rough sex sometimes, biting, hair pulling, spanking, ect. I've done more extreme stuff, like choking and hitting, ect. and some violent roleplay stuff, but it's not something I'm extremely aroused by. I have no desire to whip, burn, scar, pierce anyone or have it done to me like hardcore BDSM stuff. *
> 
> Do you think condescendence is a form of invalidation?
> *
> More or less, yeah. It could be used strategically however, or to push someones buttons, which in that case wouldn't necessarily imply invalidation. *
> 
> What is love?
> 
> *Baby don't hurt me. No more. Loll... It's nothing but a series of chemical reactions in the brain. Endorphins to promote pair bonding. *
> 
> Are you able to have an orgasm at the same time than your wife? Does it make it more enjoyable?


I've never had a wife. But I've had simultaneous orgasms with ex girlfriends. It can be pretty powerful.


----------



## Mmmm

What is the intention behind a guy asking a gal her age? Well besides wondering if she is jail bait that is. I know I don't look like I'm under 18 but a couple of guys at work have asked me my age, just curious as to why that might be.


----------



## drmiller100

i only date a 10 year spread around my age. too young, not interested. 

under 40, not interested.


----------



## Mmmm

So does that mean the guy is interested & wants to know my age so he can ask me out?


----------



## drmiller100

maybe. ask him and then you will know.


----------



## William I am

Mmmm said:


> What is the intention behind a guy asking a gal her age? Well besides wondering if she is jail bait that is. I know I don't look like I'm under 18 but a couple of guys at work have asked me my age, just curious as to why that might be.


I can only think of a few reasons to ask that and they all indicate attraction. He might also want to make sure you're not too young for him to date. I really don't want to date anyone more than 2 years younger than me, and in my current town, the average age of young attractive women is 21 or 22. It's kind of easy to tell though.

Edit: Caveat - I don't like to or seek to date much younger women, but I was 6 years older than my most recent ex.


----------



## petite libellule

What would compel a grown man to call a woman he JUST met, "Babz". ?

it's not a deal breaker but, it makes me think of hootchie mama. Right?

or am I being a stuck up bitch ?

you may be honest and say yes if this is indeed the case though hoping not


----------



## kismetie

i don't understand sending dick pics


----------



## android654

NK said:


> What would compel a grown man to call a woman he JUST met, "Babz". ?
> 
> it's not a deal breaker but, it makes me think of hootchie mama. Right?
> 
> or am I being a stuck up bitch ?
> 
> you may be honest and say yes if this is indeed the case though hoping not


Babz? He sounds like a douche nozzle. He probably think he sounds smooth in his own head, so how could you not find him smooth too. 



kismetie said:


> i don't understand sending dick pics


There's nothing to get, since only "bros" send unsolicited dick pics. It isn't a very cerebral process. It's done with the assumption that you couldn't resist what is being shown to you 'cause, I mean, look at my dick. If you make fun of him, tell 'em you're not impressed, they'll most likely stop there.


----------



## Wellsy

NK said:


> What would compel a grown man to call a woman he JUST met, "Babz". ?
> 
> it's not a deal breaker but, it makes me think of hootchie mama. Right?
> 
> or am I being a stuck up bitch ?
> 
> you may be honest and say yes if this is indeed the case though hoping not


Not sure what a hootchie mama is hahaha
I'm not sure, I personally wouldn't put much thought into it. But that's probably more so because people aren't referring to me that way.
There are a lot of 'endearing' names people use but why he would think that would be charming to an adult woman shows some disconnect with women in your demographic at least. Such questions are hard to answer because you can't quite rationalize it for yourself since you wouldn't do it and it seems absurd.

God dammit now im stuck thinking why BABZ WHY! What a shitty word if it even qualifies as one really.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

WildImagineer said:


> What would you prefer us care about? .


Is that a trick question? Lol. How about the whole of a woman, not just a body part...

Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710e using Tapatalk


----------



## kismetie

android654 said:


> There's nothing to get, since only "bros" send unsolicited dick pics. It isn't a very cerebral process. It's done with the assumption that you couldn't resist what is being shown to you 'cause, I mean, look at my dick. If you make fun of him, tell 'em you're not impressed, they'll most likely stop there.


What do you mean by only "bros?" The assumption is that _I _can't resist receiving a dick pic or they can't resist sending me a dick pic? Sorry, I was a bit confused reading your reply.


----------



## drmiller100

i like long hair.


----------



## wiarumas

DustyWind said:


> Why do all men smell like musk and radiate heat like a furnace?


Pheromones and differences in thermoregulation.


----------



## wiarumas

Biracial said:


> Why do men have nipples?


They develop in utero before gender differences occur.


----------



## ParetoCaretheStare

Why are you guys such pussies?


----------



## wiarumas

ronrz567 said:


> Is it still possible to achieve an orgasm even with erectile dysfunction?


Yes. In some instances erectile dysfunction is a mental barrier, not a physical limitation.


----------



## wiarumas

Afruabarkio said:


> What are the best things in your life?
> 
> *life itself*
> 
> Do men should feel protected? What may that implicate in the context of the social and romantic relantionships?
> 
> *Assuming this question is about needing protection. Not all men are the same, but personally, I don't need or even understand why I would require protection in a social context. Protection from what exactly? Typically, in my mind, protection is from external factors such as financial insecurity to shelter from the rain. Actual, measurable threats. *
> 
> Do you enjoy any kind of violence during sex?
> 
> *I like to be firm, not violent. I don't like to experience or inflict pain.*
> 
> Do you think condescendence is a form of invalidation?
> 
> *not sure what is meant by a form of invalidation. It would be situational. Depends on the context. *
> 
> What is love?
> 
> *oxytocin*
> 
> Are you able to have an orgasm at the same time than your wife? Does it make it more enjoyable?
> 
> *we frequently orgasm at the same time. Not because it's romantic but because I'm usually holding out those extra moments so she can finish. And her reaction usually pushes me over the top, so it ends up being simultaneous. Doesn't make it any more enjoyable. Feels the same regardless. *


In quote


----------



## wiarumas

Mmmm said:


> What is the intention behind a guy asking a gal her age? Well besides wondering if she is jail bait that is. I know I don't look like I'm under 18 but a couple of guys at work have asked me my age, just curious as to why that might be.


The reason they want to know your age is... They want to know your age. 

They probably have their guesses and want to stop the curiosity and find out whose right.


----------



## wiarumas

NK said:


> What would compel a grown man to call a woman he JUST met, "Babz". ?
> 
> it's not a deal breaker but, it makes me think of hootchie mama. Right?
> 
> or am I being a stuck up bitch ?
> 
> you may be honest and say yes if this is indeed the case though hoping not


Just ask him why he called you that.

I think you have a right to ask why a person calls you something. 

It's probably nothing, but maybe he'll put some more thought into what he calls you. 

Or, just tell him you don't want to be called that. I wouldn't like stupid nicknames either.


----------



## wiarumas

UtterMess said:


> What would you call a relationship between a man and a woman who have incredibly good sexual chemistry, are good friends but aren't good together as a couple, and don't really possess strong feelings for each other in that way and also have trouble being good friends due to the existing chemistry?


Friends with benefits.


----------



## petite libellule

wiarumas said:


> They develop in utero before gender differences occur.


Haha!! I love how you take these questions so seriously. I have no idea why men have nipples so I would have said something like, "to be pierced" or something silly ^.^


----------



## wiarumas

karibaby said:


> Okay I've had this question for a while.I’m a very good looking girl, (not to sound cocky) but guys don’t come on to me very much. My guy and girl friends think they are intimidated by me, butI don't understand why they would be. How can I get them to stop thinking like that?


People typically go for people they find obtainable. If you look unobtainable, men might not approach you to save their ego. 

You could look more approachable to solicit more approaches, though, it's not entirely a bad thing you are able to ward off the masses.


----------



## wiarumas

eulersline said:


> What's more attractive, long hair or short hair ?


I like medium to long. Somewhere past chin length and shorter than nipple length. 

Any shorter than that depends on the girl. Not all of them can pull it off. 

Longer than that risks looking messy and unmanageable, but again, up to the individual.


----------



## karibaby

wiarumas said:


> People typically go for people they find obtainable. If you look unobtainable, men might not approach you to save their ego.
> 
> You could look more approachable to solicit more approaches, though, it's not entirely a bad thing you are able to ward off the masses.


Well how do I look more approachable? I talk to people all the time, people say I have a great smile and a good sense of humor. What else do I need to do?


----------



## wiarumas

NK said:


> Haha!! I love how you take these questions so seriously. I have no idea why men have nipples so I would have said something like, "to be pierced" or something silly ^.^


Is your mind truly random/silly, or is there some type of Freudian thing going on jumping straight to thoughts of men's pierced nipples?


----------



## petite libellule

wiarumas said:


> Is your mind truly random/silly, or is there some type of Freudian thing going on jumping straight to thoughts of men's pierced nipples?


Hahaha! It's random and silly ^.^

I'm not a fan of nipple rings


----------



## wiarumas

karibaby said:


> Well how do I look more approachable? I talk to people all the time, people say I have a great smile and a good sense of humor. What else do I need to do?


I wouldn't stress. I wouldn't change anything to meet more strangers. Instead, change your perspective. 

Do you really want to meet men who are too afraid to talk to you? Surely there are good candidates with enough balls to be able to muster up a hello. Consider it a way of preemptively weeding out less than ideal candidates.

Alternatively you can always be the one that approaches.


----------



## wiarumas

NK said:


> Hahaha! It's random and silly ^.^
> 
> I'm not a fan of nipple rings


Oh, i see. You prefer the bars.


----------



## karibaby

wiarumas said:


> I wouldn't stress. I wouldn't change anything to meet more strangers. Instead, change your perspective.
> 
> Do you really want to meet men who are too afraid to talk to you? Surely there are good candidates with enough balls to be able to muster up a hello. Consider it a way of preemptively weeding out less than ideal candidates.
> 
> Alternatively you can always be the one that approaches.


I have thought that for a very long time that I don't want to date a man who is afraid to even talk to me so I guess your right. I don't want to be the one to ask the guy out b/c I like to be pursued( call me old fashioned) and I have alot of respect for guys who ask women out versus the boys who play games and can't say hello. Thanks for the advice!


----------



## petite libellule

wiarumas said:


> Oh, i see. You prefer the bars.


How did you draw THAT conclusion ? Lol!!


----------



## ronrz567

how come my officemates didn't talk to me on my first day at work?


----------



## wiarumas

NK said:


> How did you draw THAT conclusion ? Lol!!


Well since it's already established you love a man with some nipple piercings, but not a fan of nipple rings, you must have a preference for the nipple bars.


----------



## Afruabarkio

wiarumas said:


> In quote


*"Assuming this question is about needing protection. Not all men are the same, but personally, I don't need or even understand why I would require protection in a social context. Protection from what exactly? Typically, in my mind, protection is from external factors such as financial insecurity to shelter from the rain. Actual, measurable threats. "
*
I actually asked because recently a friend of mine associated love with protection. It was due to this video
"How attached are the cats to their owners?"






"Dogs and in case of children, the attachment actually means that they see the individual as source of comfort, something that provides joy, and also a source of safety." "The relation bewtween the cat and the owner it's not what would be described as a secure attachment style relantionship. Certainly the owners believe that the cats are very affectionate towards them, but we are starting to think that the cat views the owners more as the a provider of resources than provider of safety, which is the key feature of the secure attachment."

So I thought "well, men are suppoused to protect themselves, does that mean in a wide range that they experience a different type of attachment than the usual idea of "love"?" Or, in another way "would that mean that men wouldn't experience love in a usual conception if they were plenty succesful in their task on protecting themselves?" Is a provocative thought, I'll admit.


----------



## petite libellule

wiarumas said:


> Well since it's already established you love a man with some nipple piercings, but not a fan of nipple rings, you must have a preference for the nipple bars.


Gross. And I thought nipple rings WERE nipple piercings.


----------



## android654

NK said:


> Gross. And I thought nipple rings WERE nipple piercings.


Rings are jewelry, piercings are the hole. What's gross about it? It's no different than earrings or a nose ring.


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> Rings are jewelry, piercings are the hole. What's gross about it? It's no different than earrings or a nose ring.


I said gross to having a preference for nipple bars.


----------



## android654

NK said:


> I said gross to having a preference for nipple bars.


I agree. With rings you can tug at them with the tip of your teeth and have better pull.


----------



## petite libellule

android654 said:


> I agree. With rings you can tug at them with the tip of your teeth and have better pull.


Hahahaha!! Eew. I don't wanna!


----------



## android654

NK said:


> Hahahaha!! Eew. I don't wanna!


Of course you wanna! Everybody likes a nipple ring.


----------



## wiarumas

Afruabarkio said:


> *"Assuming this question is about needing protection. Not all men are the same, but personally, I don't need or even understand why I would require protection in a social context. Protection from what exactly? Typically, in my mind, protection is from external factors such as financial insecurity to shelter from the rain. Actual, measurable threats. "
> *
> I actually asked because recently a friend of mine associated love with protection. It was due to this video
> "How attached are the cats to their owners?"
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> "Dogs and in case of children, the attachment actually means that they see the individual as source of comfort, something that provides joy, and also a source of safety." "The relation bewtween the cat and the owner it's not what would be described as a secure attachment style relantionship. Certainly the owners believe that the cats are very affectionate towards them, but we are starting to think that the cat views the owners more as the a provider of resources than provider of safety, which is the key feature of the secure attachment."
> 
> So I thought "well, men are suppoused to protect themselves, does that mean in a wide range that they experience a different type of attachment than the usual idea of "love"?" Or, in another way "would that mean that men wouldn't experience love in a usual conception if they were plenty succesful in their task on protecting themselves?" Is a provocative thought, I'll admit.


I don't think I am conscious of any protection going on. Either needing protection or actively protecting myself. I think in order for protection to come to mind you have to feel vulnerable, and thus, desire to negate the vulnerability. Personally, I don't feel vulnerable. I'm fairly independent and self reliant. In fact, I think I have such an abundance that I am able to provide this... protection (?) to others.

It's a deficit of a provision in a relationship since I'm getting less out of it that I put in, much like the human in the experiment above with a cat, dog, or child that offers little in return for what it takes. But that's okay, because the requirement is low - a deficit can happily exist since I don't need that validation?

For me, love has nothing to do with what the person provides me with whether it be tangible or intangible.


----------



## karibaby

NK said:


> Gross. And I thought nipple rings WERE nipple piercings.


my thoughts exactly eww


----------



## Afruabarkio

wiarumas said:


> I don't think I am conscious of any protection going on. Either needing protection or actively protecting myself. I think in order for protection to come to mind you have to feel vulnerable, and thus, desire to negate the vulnerability. Personally, I don't feel vulnerable. I'm fairly independent and self reliant. In fact, I think I have such an abundance that I am able to provide this... protection (?) to others.
> 
> It's a deficit of a provision in a relationship since I'm getting less out of it that I put in, much like the human in the experiment above with a cat, dog, or child that offers little in return for what it takes. But that's okay, because the requirement is low - a deficit can happily exist since I don't need that validation?
> 
> For me, love has nothing to do with what the person provides me with whether it be tangible or intangible.


Could you explain me your idea of love please?


----------



## wiarumas

Afruabarkio said:


> Could you explain me your idea of love please?


Love to me is mutual understanding, commitment, respect, loyalty, sacrifice. Out of all the people in the world, to choose another person to share all life's moments with. Not because of security or protection or comfort, but because I want her to see what I see, experience what I experience, and know what I know. I don't want someone because they make me feel good, I want someone that works, that clicks, with me. I guess you could say its a resource since there is a degree of collaboration. I guess you could say its comfort. But in my mind, not really. It supplements, it enhances what is already good. It's not a dependency, it's two forces joining powers. And that's another thing about her - she's the same way - doesn't really rely on me for protection either. She's a strong, intelligent woman. She could handle everything without me if she wanted to.


----------



## WamphyriThrall

Why are so many men extremely insecure and/or defensive when it comes to their sexuality? At best, it might mean having to remind others, or distance themselves from anyone who is from a different background, and at worse, violence against anyone who might not fit the stereotypical straight male mode (usually queer male-bodied individuals). 

Before I questioned this, it was just one of those things I passively accepted, and didn't really give much thought to. All I knew was if someone made a move on you, or even if they rubbed you the wrong way, it was acceptable to "teach them a lesson" to prove yourself, and a few of the guys would approve. Still, what's the danger?


----------



## Kingdom Crusader

Do you think that men can pick up on a woman being asexual, even before she even realizes it?


----------



## RetroVortex

WamphyriThrall said:


> Why are so many men extremely insecure and/or defensive when it comes to their sexuality? At best, it might mean having to remind others, or distance themselves from anyone who is from a different background, and at worse, violence against anyone who might not fit the stereotypical straight male mode (usually queer male-bodied individuals).
> 
> Before I questioned this, it was just one of those things I passively accepted, and didn't really give much thought to. All I knew was if someone made a move on you, or even if they rubbed you the wrong way, it was acceptable to "teach them a lesson" to prove yourself, and a few of the guys would approve. Still, what's the danger?


Its most likely a societal/primal thing dude. Some men think they HAVE to be all macho and not show weakness, and those softer aspects of personality are usually discouraged and repressed on their part, so they automatically look down upon and don't want to be associated with things outside of whats considered "manly" by society/the tribe. 
They fear that of which they don't let themselves try to understand and accept so they lash out like total douchebags.


----------



## android654

WamphyriThrall said:


> Why are so many men extremely insecure and/or defensive when it comes to their sexuality? At best, it might mean having to remind others, or distance themselves from anyone who is from a different background, and at worse, violence against anyone who might not fit the stereotypical straight male mode (usually queer male-bodied individuals).
> 
> Before I questioned this, it was just one of those things I passively accepted, and didn't really give much thought to. All I knew was if someone made a move on you, or even if they rubbed you the wrong way, it was acceptable to "teach them a lesson" to prove yourself, and a few of the guys would approve. Still, what's the danger?


Two things: primitive protections and mob mentality. People don't like different. We are tribal animals, and when dealing with differing tribes, if we cannot find common ground the need to lash out is strong. Some people translate that to violence, and when violence is on display for another, the willingness to join in on that violence is almost too tempting to deny. I will say that things get better with time and our ideas of tribes becomes looser and includes more people, but it will take more time.



Asian_Chick said:


> Do you think that men can pick up on a woman being asexual, even before she even realizes it?


It depends on how intuitive someone is. Personally, I've had a pretty decent track record in determining people's sexual styles after speaking with them and observing after a short while. Depending on how intuitive and perceptive someone is, they can have insight into someone's sexuality.


----------



## wiarumas

WamphyriThrall said:


> Why are so many men extremely insecure and/or defensive when it comes to their sexuality? At best, it might mean having to remind others, or distance themselves from anyone who is from a different background, and at worse, violence against anyone who might not fit the stereotypical straight male mode (usually queer male-bodied individuals).
> 
> Before I questioned this, it was just one of those things I passively accepted, and didn't really give much thought to. All I knew was if someone made a move on you, or even if they rubbed you the wrong way, it was acceptable to "teach them a lesson" to prove yourself, and a few of the guys would approve. Still, what's the danger?


I think a lot of it resides in the individual, not really society's fault. I think these people are insecure with their own sexuality, look to society for what is appropriate, and then over compensate to an extreme to make them feel better about themselves. 

As for their actions on others, I believe the psych term would be projection or displacement. It's a defense mechanism where an individual will irrationally hate on others for qualities they dislike in themselves.


----------



## wiarumas

Asian_Chick said:


> Do you think that men can pick up on a woman being asexual, even before she even realizes it?


Maybe. Depends on the guy and woman. Some women are in denial which in that case would be easy to pick up on. Others might just be confusing and the guy would have little to no idea what is going on. Also some men are just plain ignorant to women, others highly attuned. Etc. Varies case to case.


----------



## drmiller100

I think there are many shades of love. Love of a friend, love for your own child, love for your parents.

Love for a very special lady.

And then there is IN LOVE.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Just a wondering for any guys who have sisters, how are your relationships with them? Are you quite close or don't talk often? This question coming from a woman with two brothers who I've never been that particularly close with..


----------



## unoriginal

How much book learnin do i gotta done do to get smarts like yew?


----------



## SisOfNight

How would you react when your significant other asked this of you in a sexual encounter: 

*"Please bite me."* 
(like a vampire, on the neck etc., but of course without causing them to bleed or get seriously hurt)​

I have read online that most men would get grossed out by this. ;]


----------



## android654

SisOfNight said:


> How would you react when your significant other asked this of you in a sexual encounter:
> 
> *"Please bite me."*
> (like a vampire, on the neck etc., but of course without causing them to bleed or get seriously hurt)​
> 
> I have read online that most men would get grossed out by this. ;]




Personally I'd be like:









Also, you can break skin from biting without bleeding.


----------



## SisOfNight

android654 said:


> Personally I'd be like:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Also, you can break skin from biting without bleeding.


Can't you also "break skin" by giving somebody a hickey?


----------



## android654

SisOfNight said:


> Can't you also "break skin" by giving somebody a hickey?


Yeah, but teeth feel better.


----------



## SisOfNight

android654 said:


> Yeah, but teeth feel better.


Now I am confused… does that mean you would not oppose the idea of "biting" someone or being "bitten" …?


----------



## android654

SisOfNight said:


> Now I am confused… does that mean you would not oppose the idea of "biting" someone or being "bitten" …?


I thought the gif explained it on its own. I am in favor of being bitten and biting back. I'm usually the one to request it.


----------



## wiarumas

Mr.Rbtoo said:


> A strange question. Only answer it if you're straight. Do you think you're capable of having sex with another man? Are there any special circumstances that need to happen for that situation to occur? Is there anything that you must be given to make it real? Or that's simply non-negotiable?


I think it would have to be an extreme situation where I would only have access to men. For example, being in prison for life or if all women on the planet died. My sexual urges may be in an act of desperation where the desire to get off would overcome my gender preferences. It would also be strictly for sexual release and not an act of passion/romance.


----------



## wiarumas

loving2011 said:


> When you dump someone or break things off, which response do you respect more? 1) A woman that chooses to act calm at you breaking up with her, and moving on 2) A woman that decides to yell at you, act needy, get angry, tell you off or try to convince you? As a woman, I think the keep calm and move on response is more respectful. I've had people urge me to act angry towards a man that had to end things with me. I am not interested in being seen as someone that lacks control. If someone can't be with you, the solution is to find the person that does.


By far the first option. 

The second option typically makes me want to away faster without looking back.


----------



## wiarumas

NK said:


> That would be like a man expecting you to put him before your children. I don't think it reasonable. They're two totally different types of bonds. I could be wrong. It's the ask the men thread so I'll let them clarify if I'm wrong on that.
> 
> so Mr. Male species of the forum ...
> 
> how accurate or inaccurate is my perspective on that ?


Yes, they are very different. But I don't relate to the comparison of never being able to put one above the other. I don't think I can say one is definitely more important that the other.


----------



## wiarumas

NK said:


> If you could have a robot that looked and felt absolutely like a human. You could order it to look like an super model you wanted. You could sleep with her, program her to respond to certain subjects and converse to keep you company. Would you prefer that over a real human being ? Why, or why not ?


No, I would not prefer it over a real human. But I'd also still take it for a test drive.


----------



## wiarumas

unoriginal said:


> How much book learnin do i gotta done do to get smarts like yew?


It's genetic, so the book count would be irrelevant.


----------



## wiarumas

In quote:

10 being high and 1 being low



NK said:


> On the disgust scale of 1-10. Where would you put a woman who gossips and belittles other woman ?
> 
> *eh... 3-5. Honestly I expect it to a certain degree. *
> 
> On the same scale, where would you put a man who acts like gods gift to man ?
> 
> *5-7. Rather be friends with a man who thinks they are gods gift to women than men.*
> 
> would you rather have your bro friend call you at 2 in the morning smashed needing a ride?
> Or to have to lie to someone's face to cover for a bro friend?
> 
> *The first - I rather have him call me, but you made no mention of my requiring to answer and actually pick him up. Mwahaha. *
> 
> Would you rather date a woman honest about her "flaws" or one who perfectly keeps them to herself (albeit unaware / Not working on them) ?
> 
> *All flaws equal, one that knows acknowledges them. Though, the flaws themselves are more important than either. *
> 
> In a time warp, would you rather be best friends with billy ray or Elvis ? Why ?
> 
> *flip a coin. Neither really interest me. *
> 
> Same time warp, would you rather bang a billy joe, or a bobby sue ?
> 
> *if I had a time machine I wouldn't be using it to be friends and bang people. *
> 
> If you could go back in time and have your parents name you what you wanted, as opposed to the name on your birth certificate, what would it be ?
> 
> *I am fine with my name. *
> 
> what is the most sexiest female name in your opinion ?
> 
> *names aren't that sexy to me. People make names sexy. *


----------



## wiarumas

In quote:



ficsci said:


> If you're straight...
> 
> Would you rather have a woman call your talent/skill "sexy", or call your appearance "cute"?
> 
> *sexy. I don't want to be associated with cute. *
> 
> Would you rather be with a woman who is a rival (at something you're ambitious about), or who passively admires you?
> 
> *rival. Competition is healthy and helps meet full potential. *


----------



## wiarumas

SisOfNight said:


> How would you react when your significant other asked this of you in a sexual encounter:
> 
> *"Please bite me."*
> (like a vampire, on the neck etc., but of course without causing them to bleed or get seriously hurt)​
> 
> I have read online that most men would get grossed out by this. ;]


If my SO asked me to do something to them during sex, I would do it. 

If she wanted to bite me, I'd be less inclined. 

I'd question it later, to find out why they wanted me to do it.

If she has some sort of vampire fetish, I would feel a bit ehh about it, especially if it's due to all that juvenile pop fiction books and whatnot. I personally don't like vampire stuff so I wouldn't be interested in playing that role for her on an ongoing basis. 

If she just likes it because she likes rough sex, that's fine with me.


----------



## loving2011

wiarumas said:


> By far the first option.
> 
> The second option typically makes me want to away faster without looking back.


 Exactly. As a woman, I also have respected the men that kept calm when I broke things off, versus the man that gets mad at me or tries to get me to stay with him.


----------



## WildImagineer

ficsci said:


> If you're straight...
> 
> Would you rather have a woman call your talent/skill "sexy", or call your appearance "cute"?
> 
> Would you rather be with a woman who is a rival (at something you're ambitious about), or who passively admires you?


I'm actually wondering what kind of man (not including 5 year olds) likes being called cute in the first place. The former.

Passively admires. I love it when I'm with a woman who I can just relax with and share my thoughts or other attributes with. It would bother me if I'm trying to share my thoughts and they feel the need to play the role of the devil's advocate. My rivals aren't my lovers.


----------



## WildImagineer

NK said:


> If you could have a robot that looked and felt absolutely like a human. You could order it to look like an super model you wanted. You could sleep with her, program her to respond to certain subjects and converse to keep you company. Would you prefer that over a real human being ? Why, or why not ?


Well if I could design a woman to suit my personality absolutely, it would be a very fun expenditure. The only problem I can really see with this is not being able to have kids who are my own blood, which would be disappointing.


----------



## Gossip Goat

Idk if these are ok questions or rather stupid but....

1- Say you're 17-18, a senior in HS, what did you think of the girls who were the popular type vs. the nerdy girls?

2-What is the preferred height in women?

3-What are you're thoughts, as a man, on Kristen Stewart's physical appearance?

4-What do you think of women who suffer from Bitchy Resting Face? Personal Encounters with them.

5-Truthfully, what do you think men think about women who appear to be more successful than then in any aspect?

6-How much makeup on a woman is too much makeup?

7-Physically wise, what is the perfect woman?


----------



## drmiller100

I figured out I am sapiosexual. I am attracted to intelligence and kindness.


----------



## drmiller100

Gilmore_Girl said:


> Why not?


a lot of responsibility. I was always in "have fun mode", and missed the whole highschool "lose your virginity" phase. 

girls in their mid 20's or older who are still virgins are probably virgins because they have dreams of someone special and losing it then.

And i just never got off on taking a cherry.


----------



## loving2011

Thanks to all the guys for the replies on keeping calm when things don't work out. It's motivated me to make another thread on nice people that are pressured by others to act angry/aggressive.


----------



## Kyandigaru

guys, if I go to the bar or chill lounge and I buy you a drink, would you think I'm too aggressive?


----------



## Dragunov

Kyandigaru said:


> guys, if I go to the bar or chill lounge and I buy you a drink, would you think I'm too aggressive?


Yes, pretty much any approach that isn't accidental in a bar or club is. Not like it would scare them off though.


----------



## Morfy

Kyandigaru said:


> guys, if I go to the bar or chill lounge and I buy you a drink, would you think I'm too aggressive?


Hmm not really, but i'd feel a bit uncomfortable with a stranger buying me something but i guess it's an easier way to start up conversation =)


----------



## Kyandigaru

I ask this, because I hate to have men try too hard and he's not my type. so I rather go get the guy than the other way around.


----------



## Dragunov

Kyandigaru said:


> I ask this, because I hate to have men try too hard and he's not my type. so I rather go get the guy than the other way around.


A drink is a bit too much, your attention should be enough.


----------



## Kyandigaru

Dragunov said:


> A drink is a bit too much, your attention should be enough.


how old are you, just asking.


----------



## android654

Buying a drink is just fine. Aggressive wouldn't even be the word I'd associate with it.


----------



## Dragunov

Kyandigaru said:


> how old are you, just asking.


19, does that invalidate my opinion?


----------



## Kyandigaru

Dragunov said:


> 19, does that invalidate my opinion?


no. just curious.


----------



## MindBomb

Kyandigaru said:


> when is the right time, (year, months or weeks) to know a man will put his woman first? Even before his mother...


When you are serious and not casually dating.


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

Kyandigaru said:


> guys, if I go to the bar or chill lounge and I buy you a drink, would you think I'm too aggressive?


No I wouldn't jump to a conclusion like that, the gesture is often a prelude to an introduction & conversation.
Would you allow a guy to return the gesture?


----------



## Kyandigaru

stargazing grasshopper said:


> No I wouldn't jump to a conclusion like that, the gesture is often a prelude to an introduction & conversation.
> Would you allow a guy to return the gesture?


of course! I'd like the man to do the same.


----------



## eulersline

I've been dating my partner on and off since college. This last yr I moved in with him. As much as I love him I'm miserable. I just don't think living with someone is for me. I want to move out so bad buy I don't necessarily want to break up. I know that he will see it that way. Usually I'm the less secure one in the relationship. But whenever we have broken up it's mostly been on my end. Any suggestions how I might tell him I'm leaving but not leaving him ?


----------



## drmiller100

eulersline said:


> I've been dating my partner on and off since college. This last yr I moved in with him. As much as I love him I'm miserable. I just don't think living with someone is for me. I want to move out so bad buy I don't necessarily want to break up. I know that he will see it that way. Usually I'm the less secure one in the relationship. But whenever we have broken up it's mostly been on my end. Any suggestions how I might tell him I'm leaving but not leaving him ?


I was on the other side of that once. I was living with a lady, in love, and she announced she needed to move out as it was wrong to live in sin without being married. She wanted to continue dating and having sex.

I helped her move out, and told her I needed some space for a bit to get my head straight and get my heart straight. To be honest, it hurt me. 

After a couple of weeks we were still friends, went to lunch, etc. and then it imploded badly. She went her way, and me mine, and she no longer returned calls or texts or emails.

It is what it is. Be as honest as you can. 

I would have done nothing differently.


----------



## eulersline

drmiller100 said:


> I was on the other side of that once. I was living with a lady, in love, and she announced she needed to move out as it was wrong to live in sin without being married. She wanted to continue dating and having sex.
> 
> I helped her move out, and told her I needed some space for a bit to get my head straight and get my heart straight. To be honest, it hurt me.
> 
> After a couple of weeks we were still friends, went to lunch, etc. and then it imploded badly. She went her way, and me mine, and she no longer returned calls or texts or emails.
> 
> It is what it is. Be as honest as you can.
> 
> I would have done nothing differently.


It isn't a religious issue. I just need more space. Since I've moved in its like he's my dad. I can't take it anymore. He constantly wants to know everything and I have brought the fact it bothers me up but he doesn't care. I never want sex anymore. I hate him living here. When we lived separate everything was different. I need my space. But I guess that means I have to break up again.


----------



## Chaerephon

Kyandigaru said:


> guys, if I go to the bar or chill lounge and I buy you a drink, would you think I'm too aggressive?


No. That is a plus not a minus in my mind. You know what you want and are not afraid to ask for it.


----------



## Wellsy

Have you ever felt that you were sexy?

Don't have to go into details unless you're comfortable my curiosity would be satisfied with a yes or no answer.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Wellsy said:


> Have you ever felt that you were sexy?
> 
> Don't have to go into details unless you're comfortable my curiosity would be satisfied with a yes or no answer.


Id be interested to read these answers lol


----------



## Mmmm

I searched this question but I couldn't find anything specific...How can I turn a guy at work down without causing tension? He gave me his phone number & told me to call him so we could go out on a date but I'm not interested. I don't want to be rude cause we work together so I was hoping he'd get the hint since I haven't called & I told him I'm really busy. That didn't work cause he keeps telling me to call him anytime. How can I tell him I won't be calling without hurting him?


----------



## Wellsy

Mmmm said:


> I searched this question but I couldn't find anything specific...How can I turn a guy at work down without causing tension? He gave me his phone number & told me to call him so we could go out on a date but I'm not interested. I don't want to be rude cause we work together so I was hoping he'd get the hint since I haven't called & I told him I'm really busy. That didn't work cause he keeps telling me to call him anytime. How can I tell him I won't be calling without hurting him?


You don't get to choose whether or not someone gets hurt.
Express what you really think and feel, don't try and cushion it up too much to lessen the blow, it is what it is and hopefully he's mature enough to see that.


----------



## Chesire Tower

Wellsy said:


> Mmmm said:
> 
> 
> 
> I searched this question but I couldn't find anything specific...How can I turn a guy at work down without causing tension? He gave me his phone number & told me to call him so we could go out on a date but I'm not interested. I don't want to be rude cause we work together so I was hoping he'd get the hint since I haven't called & I told him I'm really busy. That didn't work cause he keeps telling me to call him anytime. How can I tell him I won't be calling without hurting him?You don't get to choose whether or not someone gets hurt.
> 
> 
> 
> Express what you really think and feel, don't try and cushion it up too much to lessen the blow, it is what it is and hopefully he's mature enough to see that.
Click to expand...

I tend to disagree with that; this is a work environment after all. I think that she should either tell him that she doesn't date co-workers or make up some other reason such as she is currently "seeing" someone; otherwise he will want to know WHY and it WILL be awkward. I see no good use of either unnecessarily hurting his feelings or making things uncomfortable for either of you at work.


----------



## William I am

Mmmm said:


> I searched this question but I couldn't find anything specific...How can I turn a guy at work down without causing tension? He gave me his phone number & told me to call him so we could go out on a date but I'm not interested. I don't want to be rude cause we work together so I was hoping he'd get the hint since I haven't called & I told him I'm really busy. That didn't work cause he keeps telling me to call him anytime. How can I tell him I won't be calling without hurting him?


Telling him you're busy is essentially telling him "not now" and implying "but yes later". It's leading him on, not cushioning the blow.
Deal with it like an adult. Tell him you're not going to date him and you don't intend to offend him, but your answer is no. You may want to tell your HR person/dept about it beforehand, if you're worried for some reason. You don't owe him a reason or explanation of why you don't want to date him, but you could say something like "you're a great guy" or something to show you don't dislike him in particular.


----------



## drmiller100

Mmmm said:


> I searched this question but I couldn't find anything specific...How can I turn a guy at work down without causing tension? He gave me his phone number & told me to call him so we could go out on a date but I'm not interested. I don't want to be rude cause we work together so I was hoping he'd get the hint since I haven't called & I told him I'm really busy. That didn't work cause he keeps telling me to call him anytime. How can I tell him I won't be calling without hurting him?


I am not interested in going on a date with you.


----------



## searcheagle

William I am said:


> Telling him you're busy is essentially telling him "not now" and implying "but yes later". It's leading him on, not cushioning the blow.
> Deal with it like an adult. Tell him you're not going to date him and you don't intend to offend him, but your answer is no. You may want to tell your HR person/dept about it beforehand, if you're worried for some reason. You don't owe him a reason or explanation of why you don't want to date him, but you could say something like "you're a great guy" or something to show you don't dislike him in particular.


I would like to keep our relationship on a professional level. 

Polite, unambiguous, and professional.


----------



## mrscientist

No.


----------



## William I am

searcheagle said:


> I would like to keep our relationship on a professional level.
> 
> Polite, unambiguous, and professional.


No is not necessarily impolite. Laughing in his face and saying hell no or not even answering is extremely insulting. No is the answer 99% of guys get 99% of the time. How is that unprofessional?


----------



## searcheagle

William I am said:


> No is not necessarily impolite. Laughing in his face and saying hell no or not even answering is extremely insulting. No is the answer 99% of guys get 99% of the time. How is that unprofessional?


I didn't say your answer was impolite. I was taking your basic idea and rephrasing it the way I would say it.


----------



## William I am

searcheagle said:


> I didn't say your answer was impolite. I was taking your basic idea and rephrasing it the way I would say it.


OHHhhhhhh. Well then that's pretty damn perfect.


----------



## wiarumas

Mmmm said:


> I searched this question but I couldn't find anything specific...How can I turn a guy at work down without causing tension? He gave me his phone number & told me to call him so we could go out on a date but I'm not interested. I don't want to be rude cause we work together so I was hoping he'd get the hint since I haven't called & I told him I'm really busy. That didn't work cause he keeps telling me to call him anytime. How can I tell him I won't be calling without hurting him?


"I'm not interested."

No need to go into details explaining its a work environment, don't like him, etc. Shouldn't hurt, straight to the point. He can figure out why its inappropriate on his own. 

You dont owe him any sympathy, hope, etc. And don't feel guilty about it. You didn't do anything wrong. He put himself (and you) in this position.


----------



## wiarumas

Myoho Traveller said:


> I tend to disagree with that; this is a work environment after all. I think that she should either tell him that she doesn't date co-workers or make up some other reason such as she is currently "seeing" someone; otherwise he will want to know WHY and it WILL be awkward. I see no good use of either unnecessarily hurting his feelings or making things uncomfortable for either of you at work.


I disagree. She doesn't owe him a why and if he persists, I would go to HR with a harassment complaint. 

If she's not interested, that's it. Why is irrelevant. It's a workplace. He shouldn't press himself and disrupt her from doing her job. And if she's not interested, I see no reason why it should make things awkward for him unless he continues to make it awkward.


----------



## eydimork

Do you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning and flex?


----------



## wiarumas

eydimork said:


> Do you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning and flex?


Not every morning. 

And not always an intended flex (I'm not always there doing biceps like a bodybuilder). 

For example, today while brushing my teeth I noticed my pec was flexing, so I may move my pec, flex that a bit extra to check it out. 

Or if I'm drying myself and do a motion that flexes my traps, I may check that out too. 

It's not for vanity reasons really. It's more like checking up on progress or seeing if I still have them if it's been a while. Like stepping on a scale every so often to check weight. It's a progress report.


----------



## Chesire Tower

wiarumas said:


> I disagree. She doesn't owe him a why and if he persists, I would go to HR with a harassment complaint.
> 
> If she's not interested, that's it. Why is irrelevant. It's a workplace. He shouldn't press himself and disrupt her from doing her job. And if she's not interested, I see no reason why it should make things awkward for him unless he continues to make it awkward.


I don't disagree with you only that I don't think that anyone ought to be at the mercy of an obsessive's suitor's "maturity" or lack there of.


----------



## wiarumas

Myoho Traveller said:


> I don't disagree with you only that I don't think that anyone ought to be at the mercy of an obsessive's suitor's "maturity" or lack there of.


The way I see it, I view him at the mercy of her with sexual harassment and loss of job if he continues to be unprofessional and dumb about it. 

A clear, direct, cold, and sure of ones self "not interested" sends a clear message. Not too many guys will continue after that. And it's professional. 

However, giving false hope, sparing feelings, giving excuses may invite additional advances and obsessive suitors. Excuses come across as just that - temporary impediments that can be lifted someday. I don't date people I work with - expect a call or email couple days after one of you leave the position. I have a boyfriend - check on me every now and then, etc. Basically the more ambiguous you leave it, the more optimistic the guy will be.


----------



## Chesire Tower

wiarumas said:


> The way I see it, I view him at the mercy of her with sexual harassment and loss of job if he continues to be unprofessional and dumb about it.
> 
> A clear, direct, cold, and sure of ones self "not interested" sends a clear message. Not too many guys will continue after that. And it's professional.
> 
> However, giving false hope, sparing feelings, giving excuses may invite additional advances and obsessive suitors. Excuses come across as just that - temporary impediments that can be lifted someday. I don't date people I work with - expect a call or email couple days after one of you leave the position. I have a boyfriend - check on me every now and then, etc. Basically the more ambiguous you leave it, the more optimistic the guy will be.


Well,, I guess that depends how aggressive the guy is but yeah.


----------



## ninjamaster

How can a male infp be more manly?


----------



## drmiller100

arkmabat said:


> How can a male infp be more manly?


the same way every male becomes more manly. 

Confidence. Understanding of your personal strengths and pride in those. 

It starts from within. Decide if you are a good person. Find the odds and ends shit you want to change.

THen DECIDE you are a good person. Internalize it. 

Live it.


----------



## ninjamaster

Good advice. I'm making two lists right now.


----------



## carlaviii

During an argument with a guy who has decided he wants to be my SO, he pulled the "nice guys finish last" line on me. In return, I asked: 



> You roll into my life and expect me to grant you instant top priority, and complain when you don't get it. Which part of that is the nice guy?


Thoughts?


----------



## wiarumas

carlaviii said:


> During an argument with a guy who has decided he wants to be my SO, he pulled the "nice guys finish last" line on me. In return, I asked:
> 
> Thoughts?


I think you're right. I'm personally against the self proclaimed nice guy cult. 

Saying you are a nice guy doesn't mean you are. It's just empty words from a biased small sample size of one. 

And even if you are legitimately a nice guy, it doesn't entitle you to anyone you want. There is much more to the science of attraction and these people need to stop hiding behind the nice guy excuse/scapegoat. These women aren't uninterested in you because you're a nice guy; there's other reasons.


----------



## Snakecharmer

How do you guys pace a relationship?

I ended a very bumpy and FAST relationship a little over a month ago. Started hanging out with an old friend I haven't seen in about 15 years about two weeks ago. Things escalated the second night we hung out (Friday night we talked from about 10 pm until 3:30 am, and Saturday we were together from about noon until, er...the next morning). Things didn't move out of the friend zone until about 3 am on Sunday. LOL

So, now we are seeing each other on a regular basis...saw him for a little while today, and as of now, we have plans for Wednesday (rock wall climbing).

I have no idea how this works anymore. My last relationship was a crazy, intense 4 months (we were exclusive from day one - long story). The one before that lasted 6 years, and prior to that, I was married for 8 years (together for 9).

The guy I'm seeing has been separated for 2 years (divorce in progress), but was married for nearly 20 years.

We both have kids and are taking this slow...there's no rush for the kids to know anything or meet anyone.

So, how do you pace things? How do you know when you are exclusive with someone? I'm not one to date around, but I've been texting with another guy for a few weeks (started prior to my relationship with this guy). We aren't planning to meet anytime soon...I'm just going with the flow for now.

I have no idea if the guy I'm seeing is talking to or seeing anyone else. I don't think he is, since he seems to spend all of his free time with me.

I guess I should just go with this and see? I hate dating. lol


----------



## wiarumas

Snakecharmer said:


> How do you guys pace a relationship?
> 
> I ended a very bumpy and FAST relationship a little over a month ago. Started hanging out with an old friend I haven't seen in about 15 years about two weeks ago. Things escalated the second night we hung out (Friday night we talked from about 10 pm until 3:30 am, and Saturday we were together from about noon until, er...the next morning). Things didn't move out of the friend zone until about 3 am on Sunday. LOL
> 
> So, now we are seeing each other on a regular basis...saw him for a little while today, and as of now, we have plans for Wednesday (rock wall climbing).
> 
> I have no idea how this works anymore. My last relationship was a crazy, intense 4 months (we were exclusive from day one - long story). The one before that lasted 6 years, and prior to that, I was married for 8 years (together for 9).
> 
> The guy I'm seeing has been separated for 2 years (divorce in progress), but was married for nearly 20 years.
> 
> We both have kids and are taking this slow...there's no rush for the kids to know anything or meet anyone.
> 
> So, how do you pace things? How do you know when you are exclusive with someone? I'm not one to date around, but I've been texting with another guy for a few weeks (started prior to my relationship with this guy). We aren't planning to meet anytime soon...I'm just going with the flow for now.
> 
> I have no idea if the guy I'm seeing is talking to or seeing anyone else. I don't think he is, since he seems to spend all of his free time with me.
> 
> I guess I should just go with this and see? I hate dating. lol


I prefer exclusivity once we start having sex. Before that, dating around is fair game.

Personally, getting to know people is one thing. But if you are still indecisive about the state of the relationship after sex, relationship probably isn't going to make it.


----------



## ninjamaster

How do you find an awesome girl?


----------



## wiarumas

arkmabat said:


> How do you find an awesome girl?


By increasing sample size and knowing what you want. Ie, know what your definition of "awesome" is and meet many women, preferably where "awesome" would likely be.


----------



## zen0202

If a guy is in a relationship but has been friendly/flirty with you for a year, and then decides to mention that he has a gf way later, is he mentioning her because he doesn't want you around or is he just casually mentioning her? Do guys want friends that are girls when they are taken?


----------



## ninjamaster

wiarumas said:


> By increasing sample size and knowing what you want. Ie, know what your definition of "awesome" is and meet many women, preferably where "awesome" would likely be.


How can I better define awesome for myself? I'm not asexual or homosexual but most girls I'm just not attracted to. I seem to find myself with clingy girls who have had hard pasts and it never goes well. Really I just want to be special to someone and valued, and reciplacate that back to someone who understands.

Thanks for your time


----------



## wiarumas

zen0202 said:


> If a guy is in a relationship but has been friendly/flirty with you for a year, and then decides to mention to her way later, is he mentioning her because he doesn't want you around or is he just casually mentioning her? Do guys want friends that are girls when they are taken?


He might like you as an option but also doesn't want to lead you on or feel like he's cheating.


----------



## wiarumas

arkmabat said:


> How can I better define awesome for myself? I'm not asexual or homosexual but most girls I'm just not attracted to. I seem to find myself with clingy girls who have had hard pasts and it never goes well. Really I just want to be special to someone and valued.


Think of what kind of life you want and then think what woman would be compatiable with that lifestyle. Ie, do you want someone to travel with, someone to mother your children, sit at home and play video games with, etc. Then find someone who shares the same expectations from life.


----------



## ninjamaster

Great! That is very profound. Thank you.


----------



## Snakecharmer

I can't read this guy at all. Help?

We have known each other since we were about 14, but didn't see each other at all for many years. He was married for a long time...been separated for about two years, divorce is in process (I asked about him in this thread before, different question).

We've been seeing each other a lot, and the chemistry is there (if I am reading that right...might just be physical for him, I don't know).

Last night he asked me what happened with my last LTR (which lasted 6 yrs). He also asked to see a picture of the guy (kinda odd, IMO, but it's cool). I said we grew apart and didn't really have much in common anymore, but are good friends now (totally true, we talk a lot).

I can't remember how this came up, but I certainly did NOT ask or even hint at it, as I've been taking this slowly and am just going with the flow of things...but last night he said that if/when he falls in love again it will take awhile...lots of things need to fall into place, etc. I didn't ask for clarity or what "things" he meant...I just said I understood and that was that.

But why would he even tell me that? It was awkward for me.

It is confusing because he talks about future plans with me, like going on climbing trips, the beach, etc.


----------



## drmiller100

Snakecharmer said:


> I can't read this guy at all. Help?
> 
> We have known each other since we were about 14, but didn't see each other at all for many years. He was married for a long time...been separated for about two years, divorce is in process (I asked about him in this thread before, different question).
> 
> We've been seeing each other a lot, and the chemistry is there (if I am reading that right...might just be physical for him, I don't know).
> 
> Last night he asked me what happened with my last LTR (which lasted 6 yrs). He also asked to see a picture of the guy (kinda odd, IMO, but it's cool). I said we grew apart and didn't really have much in common anymore, but are good friends now (totally true, we talk a lot).
> 
> I can't remember how this came up, but I certainly did NOT ask or even hint at it, as I've been taking this slowly and am just going with the flow of things...but last night he said that if/when he falls in love again it will take awhile...lots of things need to fall into place, etc. I didn't ask for clarity or what "things" he meant...I just said I understood and that was that.
> 
> But why would he even tell me that? It was awkward for me.
> 
> It is confusing because he talks about future plans with me, like going on climbing trips, the beach, etc.


he likes you. He wants you to know where he is in life. He wants you to know he is not in any hurry, but wants to spend quality time doing quality things and just let things go where they go.

Incredibly healthy, mature approach to things.

what mbti type is he? Wanting to see a picture of your ex is he is wondering if you are attracted to his "look" in the long run. Visual people put a lot of faith in "look". He likes your "look" and wants to know if you like his. 

But you are not driven by "look" so it is foreign to you.


----------



## Snakecharmer

drmiller100 said:


> he likes you. He wants you to know where he is in life. He wants you to know he is not in any hurry, but wants to spend quality time doing quality things and just let things go where they go.
> 
> Incredibly healthy, mature approach to things.
> 
> what mbti type is he? Wanting to see a picture of your ex is he is wondering if you are attracted to his "look" in the long run. Visual people put a lot of faith in "look". He likes your "look" and wants to know if you like his.
> 
> But you are not driven by "look" so it is foreign to you.


He IS very mature, thankfully! As you know, my last boyfriend was insane. lol

I'm guessing his MBTI is...hmm, not sure, actually. He's definitely a Sensor. Possibly ISTP, but is warmer than most people I know of that type (what is it with me and ISTPs, anyway?).

He's very active, isn't a partying kind of guy, is very affectionate and kind, I'd say he's on the quiet side - he's a great listener and is genuinely interested in other people. VERY visual, thrill-seeking (rock climbing, etc), very considerate, totally into his kids, but is a NO whining kind of guy, too...very manly, you could say.

He does like my look, at least as far as I can tell. I'm pretty muscular and athletic, and he compliments me on those qualities all the time. 

As for how he feels about me, I'm not really sure. Like I said, he talks about future plans but isn't one to talk about feelings, so far at least. Last night during dinner he said he likes how I speak and that it is obvious that I'm very intelligent. I loved hearing that. That means far more to me than compliments on my physical appearance. 

He's very physically affectionate, though - lots of hugging, etc. Has a reputation for being a very nice person.

He reminds me of my last long-term boyfriend, who is ISTP and was very slow to open up, but he's a lot more affectionate than that guy was.

You are absolutely correct about me not being driven by looks -I'm definitely physically attracted to him, but there's a lot more to it for me.


----------



## Snakecharmer

Hmm, might be ISFP...


----------



## drmiller100

Snakecharmer said:


> Hmm, might be ISFP...


sounds to me like he has Fe not Fi. 

I would guess an ESTP with really well developed Fe, and VERY smart. they can manifest like you say.

look at @monemi as an example. ESTP, but the brilliance and strong Fe makes her "feel" different than most ESTP's. 

or Treebob. another good example. 

Does he do sales for a living?


----------



## Snakecharmer

drmiller100 said:


> sounds to me like he has Fe not Fi.
> 
> I would guess an ESTP with really well developed Fe, and VERY smart. they can manifest like you say.
> 
> look at @monemi as an example. ESTP, but the brilliance and strong Fe makes her "feel" different than most ESTP's.
> 
> or Treebob. another good example.
> 
> Does he do sales for a living?


ESTP could be right. He builds elevators. I could NOT imagine him doing sales - he's not pushy at all.


----------



## drmiller100

builds elevators is an interesting job. ISTP's can be pushy. 

is he good at details? wants things done just so? does he like to follow rules and rules are there for a reason?


----------



## Snakecharmer

drmiller100 said:


> builds elevators is an interesting job. ISTP's can be pushy.
> 
> is he good at details? wants things done just so? does he like to follow rules and rules are there for a reason?


No, he's really laid back...very considerate and polite, can't see him ever being pushy. Smiles and laughs a lot.


----------



## drmiller100

snakecharmer said:


> no, he's really laid back...very considerate and polite, can't see him ever being pushy. Smiles and laughs a lot.


estp.


----------



## PlacentaCake

Why do men still find PMS such a mystery if they are such great left brain problem solvers? Why not understand more about hormones, the brain chemistry, and water retention in the brain (prefrontal cortex)? WHY NOT UNDERSTAND THE SCIENCE BEHIND IT.

No worries, I'll do it myself! :crazy:


----------



## Wellsy

PlacentaCake said:


> Why do men still find PMS such a mystery if they are such great left brain problem solvers? Why not understand more about hormones, the brain chemistry, and water retention in the brain (prefrontal cortex)? WHY NOT UNDERSTAND THE SCIENCE BEHIND IT.
> 
> No worries, I'll do it myself! :crazy:


Because women are a different species don't ya know, so complex and different to men 

:laughing:


----------



## PlacentaCake

Wellsy said:


> Because women are a different species don't ya know, so complex and different to men
> 
> :laughing:


NO.


----------



## monemi

Snakecharmer said:


> No, he's really laid back...very considerate and polite, can't see him ever being pushy. Smiles and laughs a lot.


FYI pushy salesmen are examples of what not to do in sales. I couldn't sell anything if I was perceived as pushy. Customers would walk. Good sales is when someone WANTS to buy from you and asks for you by name when they come back.


----------



## 7rr7s

This question is for @wiarumas specifically, but anyone else can chime in. 

When you are learning a new skill that involves more analytical and perhaps even abstract thinking, such as learning a language, or learning music, what is the best way to learn something? Do you search for patterns or ways to simplify it? What method have you found that will yield the greatest lasting results in the fastest amount of time?


----------



## Snakecharmer

drmiller100 said:


> he likes you. He wants you to know where he is in life. He wants you to know he is not in any hurry, but wants to spend quality time doing quality things and just let things go where they go.
> 
> Incredibly healthy, mature approach to things.


Hmm. He texted today and said he is "busy tonight" but wanted to know if I could come over for dinner tomorrow.

NOPE. I am "busy". :ninja: Actually, I DO have plans already - involving my son.

Last week, he said he wanted to see me a lot during spring break (we both don't have our kids). So much for that...I'm sure he's dating others, and that's fine...I'm going to do the same. I won't be intimate with anyone until I'm in a monogamous relationship, so there's that. lol


----------



## Snakecharmer

Question:

Why do some men get attached to a woman they've never met? I've been on and off OkCupid over the years, and I've noticed a trend...some men get very attached, very soon - BEFORE you've even talked on the phone or met in person.

I have never become attached or infatuated with a man I've never met (unless you count The Rock, but you know...lol). 

I have a guy who is super pissy with me right now because I "disappeared" on OKC for a couple of weeks. We never even talked about meeting! 

What do they expect from an online dating site? Any insight?


----------



## badwolf

@Snakecharmer, this is not a distinction to be made between men and women. This is (probably) a human being that is in one of the following situations:
1. tried everything else and is using online dating as a last resort. As a result, he feels this must work and is clinging on to every chance he gets. 
2. suffers from social anxiety, but wants a meaningful relationship. Since he doesn't have many relationships irl, he doesn't quite know how they work. He thinks that initiating a relationship (even something as simple as an email conversation) means that something has started between the two of you and he doesn't want to lose it. 
3. he has attachment/abandonment issues. 

or any number of other possibilities. Unfortunately, humans are social creatures and we have certain needs that must be met. His are simply a bit different from 'the norm.'


----------



## drmiller100

Snakecharmer said:


> Question:
> 
> W Any insight?


i got nothing.


----------



## wiarumas

Snakecharmer said:


> I can't read this guy at all. Help?
> 
> We have known each other since we were about 14, but didn't see each other at all for many years. He was married for a long time...been separated for about two years, divorce is in process (I asked about him in this thread before, different question).
> 
> We've been seeing each other a lot, and the chemistry is there (if I am reading that right...might just be physical for him, I don't know).
> 
> Last night he asked me what happened with my last LTR (which lasted 6 yrs). He also asked to see a picture of the guy (kinda odd, IMO, but it's cool). I said we grew apart and didn't really have much in common anymore, but are good friends now (totally true, we talk a lot).
> 
> I can't remember how this came up, but I certainly did NOT ask or even hint at it, as I've been taking this slowly and am just going with the flow of things...but last night he said that if/when he falls in love again it will take awhile...lots of things need to fall into place, etc. I didn't ask for clarity or what "things" he meant...I just said I understood and that was that.
> 
> But why would he even tell me that? It was awkward for me.
> 
> It is confusing because he talks about future plans with me, like going on climbing trips, the beach, etc.


You ask, "why would he tell me that?"

He's been married a long time. He's broken in, domesticated, and truthful. His "game" is rusty or non-existent. He's just being honest and telling you what he thinks/feels.

He probably hopes things will go well, but doesn't want to rush into anything and isn't afraid to say it.


----------



## wiarumas

PlacentaCake said:


> Why do men still find PMS such a mystery if they are such great left brain problem solvers? Why not understand more about hormones, the brain chemistry, and water retention in the brain (prefrontal cortex)? WHY NOT UNDERSTAND THE SCIENCE BEHIND IT.
> 
> No worries, I'll do it myself! :crazy:


Knowing the science, or theory, of something doesn't mean you can handle it in practice.


----------



## wiarumas

KindOfBlue06 said:


> This question is for @wiarumas specifically, but anyone else can chime in.
> 
> When you are learning a new skill that involves more analytical and perhaps even abstract thinking, such as learning a language, or learning music, what is the best way to learn something? Do you search for patterns or ways to simplify it? What method have you found that will yield the greatest lasting results in the fastest amount of time?


The way I approach everything - chunk it into manageable parts. Every part can have different approaches to understanding.

Language and music - or as you said abstract subjects in general - are huge in scope. You need to find a way to tackle it strategically, otherwise you'll be overwhelmed.

Prioritize and give yourself a timeline. One of the biggest obstacles is following through. 

A lot depends on the individual. Just have to find how to chunk it and how to approach each chunk.


----------



## WamphyriThrall

Alright, technically this could be a thread in itself, since it could apply to either men or women, but rather enjoy the responses and pace of the thread, so I'll ask away.

Is there a way to know if a guy is losing interest in you, or simply occupied by other things? I'm 99% sure he's an ISTP, so that could be a part of it, since he's quite laid back and at the same time very hands-on and concrete, so when I *perceive* him to be thinking or doing something, it's nothing like that at all. 

Lately, he's been a lot less verbal and distant, and when asked, seems confused. Of course, there's also his depression, but I get the feeling even if that were the cause, he'd be too oblivious to notice or explain. He takes a lot of breaks from our online chats, goes offline without warning, only to return hours later (sometimes the next day) to explain, and doesn't really initiate contact.

So... yeah... just what is going on here? He obviously likes me and talking to me, otherwise he wouldn't bother, but at the same time, there's a real lack of boundaries. It seems to be a much bigger problem for him than for me, so should I just let go and keep my options open instead of considering the "what ifs" regarding us? Much thanks in advance.


----------



## wiarumas

Snakecharmer said:


> Question:
> 
> Why do some men get attached to a woman they've never met? I've been on and off OkCupid over the years, and I've noticed a trend...some men get very attached, very soon - BEFORE you've even talked on the phone or met in person.
> 
> I have never become attached or infatuated with a man I've never met (unless you count The Rock, but you know...lol).
> 
> I have a guy who is super pissy with me right now because I "disappeared" on OKC for a couple of weeks. We never even talked about meeting!
> 
> What do they expect from an online dating site? Any insight?


Some people enjoy their fantasies/delusions more than reality.

This question and the nice guy one you posted earlier reminded me of this:
Creep Stalks Hot Topic Employee On Facebook, Gets Served


----------



## wiarumas

WamphyriThrall said:


> Alright, technically this could be a thread in itself, since it could apply to either men or women, but rather enjoy the responses and pace of the thread, so I'll ask away.
> 
> Is there a way to know if a guy is losing interest in you, or simply occupied by other things? I'm 99% sure he's an ISTP, so that could be a part of it, since he's quite laid back and at the same time very hands-on and concrete, so when I *perceive* him to be thinking or doing something, it's nothing like that at all.
> 
> Lately, he's been a lot less verbal and distant, and when asked, seems confused. Of course, there's also his depression, but I get the feeling even if that were the cause, he'd be too oblivious to notice or explain. He takes a lot of breaks from our online chats, goes offline without warning, only to return hours later (sometimes the next day) to explain, and doesn't really initiate contact.
> 
> So... yeah... just what is going on here? He obviously likes me and talking to me, otherwise he wouldn't bother, but at the same time, there's a real lack of boundaries. It seems to be a much bigger problem for him than for me, so should I just let go and keep my options open instead of considering the "what ifs" regarding us? Much thanks in advance.


I would ask him, in person preferably, if he's losing interest.

*Routine *conversations in relationships can sometimes be mundane and pointless. Disinterest in them is not a good way to judge the health of the relationship.


----------



## WamphyriThrall

wiarumas said:


> I would ask him, in person preferably, if he's losing interest.
> 
> *Routine *conversations in relationships can sometimes be mundane and pointless. Disinterest in them is not a good way to judge the health of the relationship.


Well, the fact that he's seemingly less interested in anything sexual also plays a part in it, especially since he's essentially gone from extremely touchy to practically stranger status in less than six months. I'm not sure I buy the "I'm uncomfortable with my body" or the fact that he's inexperienced excuse, and though I'm far from being oversexed, it's another reason for my feeling frustrated. 

It's really closer to an open relationship, if anything, and he's said he doesn't care if I get my needs met elsewhere, I just don't feel right doing so, since it's easy for me to fall for someone that way. Casual sex just hasn't ever interested me.


----------



## wiarumas

WamphyriThrall said:


> Well, the fact that he's seemingly less interested in anything sexual also plays a part in it, especially since he's essentially gone from extremely touchy to practically stranger status in less than six months. I'm not sure I buy the "I'm uncomfortable with my body" or the fact that he's inexperienced excuse, and though I'm far from being oversexed, it's another reason for my feeling frustrated.
> 
> It's really closer to an open relationship, if anything, and he's said he doesn't care if I get my needs met elsewhere, I just don't feel right doing so, since it's easy for me to fall for someone that way. Casual sex just hasn't ever interested me.


If you aren't being emotionally, mentally, or physically satisfied with someone, why stay with them?

I would talk with him and if things don't look good, call it off.


----------



## WamphyriThrall

wiarumas said:


> If you aren't being emotionally, mentally, or physically satisfied with someone, why stay with them?
> 
> I would talk with him and if things don't look good, call it off.


Interesting. I'm not even sure things were "on" in the first place. Somehow, I get the feeling he would be fine if we stayed as friends, and given enough time, I might, too. Granted, there was a *lot* less emotional investment compared with my last two relationships, so there probably won't be a long period of time required, since we're basically there anyway.


----------



## Snakecharmer

wiarumas said:


> You ask, "why would he tell me that?"
> 
> He's been married a long time. He's broken in, domesticated, and truthful. His "game" is rusty or non-existent. He's just being honest and telling you what he thinks/feels.
> 
> He probably hopes things will go well, but doesn't want to rush into anything and isn't afraid to say it.


Good points. 

So, I thought he was with a woman last night, since he simply said "I'm busy tonight." 

I went out for dinner and drinks with a friend. He texted around 9:30 and said "I miss you girly girl." :happy:

He's never said that to me before. Then he said he was out with his buddy - a guy.  He doesn't drink, so I know alcohol was not involved.


----------



## drmiller100

Snakecharmer said:


> Good points.
> 
> So, I thought he was with a woman last night, since he simply said "I'm busy tonight."
> 
> I went out for dinner and drinks with a friend. He texted around 9:30 and said "I miss you girly girl." :happy:
> 
> He's never said that to me before. Then he said he was out with his buddy - a guy.  He doesn't drink, so I know alcohol was not involved.



Assumptions are VERY VERY bad things. much better to ask and have it clarified, no matter what the subject or who it is with.


----------



## drmiller100

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Can an ugly girl ever make up for her lack of looks? I mean does having great oral or sex skills make up for anything? Or are they really out of luck even if they are sexually satisfying you?


I am a decent looking guy. I am pretty good in bed. I am a pretty big guy, mostly muscle, but still, 250 pounds is a memory from long ago.

I am completely NOT looks driven for my slutty phase. 

I was invited to a lady's room for a play session. She had some interests which coincided with mine.

We played. She is not my long term partner, but we had a HELL of a lot of fun, and we will be friends. 

She outweighs me by a fair amount and is on the lower end of most people's looks scales.

I have a couple of male friends who she might be a good match for. She really is a sweet, nice, kind lady and she is REALLY good in bed.

She is not smart enough, not mentally powerful enough for me long term.


----------



## drmiller100

letter_to_dana said:


> Why do men act like they like the girl when they see her but after the date ends and before the other date, they act like she doesn't exist? What do I as a girl have to read in this behavior? (and we're talking about relationships here)
> Is it because men don't open as easy as a girl or they fake the fact they are interested? I want an answer.
> I did met a guy who act like this and when I confronted him he was like "omg you're so paranoid" but a few days later he broke up with me with no words. I just had to "read between the lines" her bestfriend told me... because deh I'm a psychologist, i read minds... NOT


It is not about you. It is about him. He is a selfish, uncommunicative person. 

Build better boundaries, and have higher standards and be thankful you did not waste more time.


----------



## drmiller100

wiarumas said:


> He could be interested and still enjoy his independence and life outside the relationship especially after only one date. I mean it's only one date, not sure what you're expecting.
> 
> When that guy broke up with you, it's probably because of you confronting him over what he viewed as a nonexistent issue and scaring him away. That is, he is likely to bail before he experiences more similar events. A big red flag and a self fulfilling prophecy. Nothing to do with his interest/disinterest initially.


We disagree. I think it is a fundamental difference between an extrovert and introvert. 

In general I think you give GREAT advice, but this time not telling someone why you are not interested is just rude.


----------



## wiarumas

drmiller100 said:


> We disagree. I think it is a fundamental difference between an extrovert and introvert.
> 
> In general I think you give GREAT advice, but this time not telling someone why you are not interested is just rude.


I appreciate your input in the thread as well. I think it's healthy to have diverse input. 

But my reasoning is that in between date 1 and date 2, she confronted him that he is not acting interested. 

Key points, between dates and acting interested. There is a second date, so I'm assuming he is interested. And I'm not sure what type of behavior she is expecting after one date. 

Personally speaking, I would not make the girl center of my universe after a single night and I honestly might not act that interested until I get to spend more time with her. Key word is act. Being interested and acting interested are two separate things. 

But if a girl confronted me after 1 date on not acting sufficiently interested, I know it wouldn't work out. In fact, just hearing her story is enough to scare me away. Nothing personal, I just know I can't give her what she wants and I'm not masochistic enough to find that out the hard way.


----------



## letter_to_dana

@*wiarumas*
It wasn't a single date. We were dating for almost a month. And his behavior suddenly changed after 2 weeks. Even if I asked about what made him be so absent and unwiling to talk to me, he acted like I was analyzing way too much and there wasn't anything wrong. What I meant about "dates" is the fact that when we saw each other he was very sweet and loving and after that, days in a row, well I was the one who needed to make the first move in speaking again.
A few days before the break up was official I understood from her bestfriend (a girl) that he was trying by his silence to make me realize he wasn't very happy about the relationship.
I'm sorry but this behavior is way too irational for me to understand.
Why guys can't take responsability for their acts?! I don't want to make it a big deal now about this particulare case, I just want to know better next time.


----------



## Donovan

letter_to_dana said:


> Why do men act like they like the girl when they see her but after the date ends and before the other date, they act like she doesn't exist? What do I as a girl have to read in this behavior? (and we're talking about relationships here)
> Is it because men don't open as easy as a girl or they fake the fact they are interested? I want an answer.
> I did met a guy who act like this and when I confronted him he was like "omg you're so paranoid" but a few days later he broke up with me with no words. I just had to "read between the lines" her bestfriend told me... because deh I'm a psychologist, i read minds... NOT


*if it's between the first two dates and you don't hear anything until the day of, he may be doing what he thinks "he's supposed to" (it is a game, but it can be one of self-defense, as in not putting himself out there too much and avoiding seeming "desperate"/whatnot). 

*if it's a prolonged: 
--he's not that into it, for whatever reason, and he's wasting your time by letting it continue
--he is trying to gain control by withholding 
--that's just how he is - either not able to give of himself as you'd like (immature/temporarily not in the right place), or it doesn't even occur to him to do so, regardless of his feelings towards you


if you feel it's necessary to broach a subject--then you should broach it--in a way that is natural for you to do so (and without worrying about how that aligns socially). how he reacts isn't exactly an indication of any "wrong doing" on your part (being a "crazy, obsessive woman"/etc.), but is telling of how the rest of y'all's time together will go. 

bringing it up really just speeds the entire process. if he doesn't like you doing it, and you don't like how he responds, then you got to find out you and he aren't a match sooner rather than later.


----------



## angelictroublemaker

This is like the BEST thread ever! wiarumus, I can't believe your still on here; so few others in the ENTJ forum that I still recognize... So my questions are:

1). Congratulations on having a kid . What's tge best thing? Worst thing? Scariest thing? Advise you would give your younger self (in respect to parenting).

2). How does Fi work in your life? how has this developed over the years? How do you foresee Fi becoming fully integrated in/after midlife, abd what would this look like to an external observer (say when you reach retirement age).

3). How do you plan to spend your retirement?

4) I'm intrigued by all the arty stuff...what role does creativity have in your life? 

5) what's your favourite poem?


----------



## Enfpleasantly

letter_to_dana said:


> @*wiarumas*
> It wasn't a single date. We were dating for almost a month. And his behavior suddenly changed after 2 weeks. Even if I asked about what made him be so absent and unwiling to talk to me, he acted like I was analyzing way too much and there wasn't anything wrong. What I meant about "dates" is the fact that when we saw each other he was very sweet and loving and after that, days in a row, well I was the one who needed to make the first move in speaking again.
> A few days before the break up was official I understood from her bestfriend (a girl) that he was trying by his silence to make me realize he wasn't very happy about the relationship.
> I'm sorry but this behavior is way too irational for me to understand.
> Why guys can't take responsability for their acts?! I don't want to make it a big deal now about this particulare case, I just want to know better next time.


I thought you meant one date too. This definitely changes it up.


----------



## drmiller100

wiarumas said:


> I appreciate your input in the thread as well. I think it's healthy to have diverse input.
> 
> But my reasoning is that in between date 1 and date 2, she confronted him that he is not acting interested.
> 
> Key points, between dates and acting interested. There is a second date, so I'm assuming he is interested. And I'm not sure what type of behavior she is expecting after one date.
> 
> Personally speaking, I would not make the girl center of my universe after a single night and I honestly might not act that interested until I get to spend more time with her. Key word is act. Being interested and acting interested are two separate things.
> 
> .


Again, we disagree. I respect you have a different opinion. 

If I go on a single date with a lady, and she plays the hard to get game, I'm done. I like assertive communication. 

I doubt I will doubt much of an introvert in the future. 

I write this based on the assumptions we all made there were only two dates. Knowing there were more dates does not change ti for me, but I suspect more dates will change it for you.

We are different, and appreciating differing points of view is more important than most other things in life.


----------



## letter_to_dana

Enfpleasantly said:


> I thought you meant one date too. This definitely changes it up.


Haha no. I'm not THAT paranoid. Sorry I wasn't very clear in my first post.


----------



## drmiller100

letter_to_dana said:


> @*wiarumas*
> 
> Why guys can't take responsability for their acts?! I don't want to make it a big deal now about this particulare case, I just want to know better next time.


I think it is an extrovert vs introvert thing. Women do this to me also, and I dislike it. They are not for me.


----------



## shameless

@letter_to_dana
Listen to them. Even if not every detail is correct or they misperceived a few details, they are still giving you a constructive male view. I cannot say I agree with the delivery, but I agree with the validity.


----------



## wiarumas

letter_to_dana said:


> @*wiarumas*
> It wasn't a single date. We were dating for almost a month. And his behavior suddenly changed after 2 weeks. Even if I asked about what made him be so absent and unwiling to talk to me, he acted like I was analyzing way too much and there wasn't anything wrong. What I meant about "dates" is the fact that when we saw each other he was very sweet and loving and after that, days in a row, well I was the one who needed to make the first move in speaking again.
> A few days before the break up was official I understood from her bestfriend (a girl) that he was trying by his silence to make me realize he wasn't very happy about the relationship.
> I'm sorry but this behavior is way too irational for me to understand.
> Why guys can't take responsability for their acts?! I don't want to make it a big deal now about this particulare case, I just want to know better next time.


And @Enfpleasantly

Yeah I'm not sure what about the original post made it sound like a first date. It does change things. 

Unlike my original answer, after a few weeks/dates, the relationship should be booming or fizzling. You know its going well or not going to last. Sounds like he fizzled. Honestly if he was that discontent that early on in the relationship it probably wouldn't last. Your confrontation expedited the inevitable, even if he didn't realize it yet. Otherwise he may have just continued to date you indifferently until whatever else would prompt a break. And in that case, nobody wins so it's probably best you did what you did.


----------



## wyldstyle

drmiller100 said:


> I did not. All the dick pics I send are solicited.


Wow, you sound uber kinky and fun!


----------



## wiarumas

In quote



angelictroublemaker said:


> This is like the BEST thread ever! wiarumus, I can't believe your still on here; so few others in the ENTJ forum that I still recognize... So my questions are:
> 
> 1). Congratulations on having a kid . What's tge best thing? Worst thing? Scariest thing? Advise you would give your younger self (in respect to parenting).
> 
> *best - the development of intelligence. Witnessing it unfold in front of you, being the hand that guides it, feeds its insatiable appetite.
> 
> Worst thing - the hours. From birth, you are shackled to the well being of another being around the clock for life.
> 
> Scariest - never really thought of it. Possibly that he may never have existed.
> 
> Advise - ear tubes sooner. Ear infections are no fun for anyone. *
> 
> 2). How does Fi work in your life? how has this developed over the years? How do you foresee Fi becoming fully integrated in/after midlife, abd what would this look like to an external observer (say when you reach retirement age).
> 
> *Fi is who I am, or who I long to be. It's what I believe in and stand for. But, honestly that's not that important. Feelings can be controlled, repressed, and changed. Rationalized away and repurposed to better fit reality. So you see the conflict. In youth, Te wins no contest. Fi is nonexistent. But nowadays I'd like to believe I at least listen to Fi. But at the same time, I'm blind to it. In 10 years I may view my current self as being out of touch so its hard to say. Hard to judge what you cannot see. To the outside observer, you would have no idea. Note, this is probably my least coherent post in this entire thread. Thus, the reason Fi is not a driving force in the day to day. It's incoherent and I have better things to do than spin in circles. *
> 
> 3). How do you plan to spend your retirement?
> 
> *Wealthy, surrounded by family, and have the flexibility/freedom to pursue whatever fulfilling work I'd like.*
> 
> 4) I'm intrigued by all the arty stuff...what role does creativity have in your life?
> 
> *it's a punching bag. It's an exercise and sometimes a release to get stuff out. *
> 
> 5) what's your favourite poem?
> 
> *nothing exotic. Probably something in the top 100 famous poems. Something from Robert frost, Yeats probably. Fire and ice, cloths of heaven, wheel, Do not go gentle into that good night maybe. *


----------



## ninjamaster

DeductiveReasoner said:


> What is it like to have a penis?


Terrible. Tesla cut his off. 

Sent from my LS670 using Tapatalk 2


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

wiarumas said:


> People generally end up with people with similar levels of physical attractiveness. Discrepancies usually have a redeeming factor. Sex could be one of them, but it's probably not enough to make a relationship work. It has temporary appeal. Instead of making up for looks, *i think it would be preferable to find a SO that doesn't require a redeeming factor. *


Does that ever happen?


----------



## PlacentaCake

wiarumas said:


> I'm not sure I understand the question. Are you saying men should be responsible for feeding women certain things around the time of PMS? Or that some type of medicine should be invented?
> 
> If I'm reading you right, it sounds like this information would be better in the hands of women, not men. Also, if I'm reading you right, you may be reinforcing the women are a mystery line. In the same post you claim to know how to solve moodiness and also claim to be moody?


Where in the post did I say I can *solve* moodiness? I think you are missing my sense of humor/point entirely. I am done trying to communicate with you. lol


----------



## SalvinaZerelda

What do you think about beard contests?


----------



## wiarumas

PlacentaCake said:


> Where in the post did I say I can *solve* moodiness? I think you are missing my sense of humor/point entirely. I am done trying to communicate with you. lol


This post appears as if you are trying to find a solution; and you even offer a solution.



> All women need is to not eat too much sodium/sugar before their period and take a natural diarrhetic for the retention. If there is a PROBLEM, why not find a *SOLUTION*?


Can you please clarify what your question was? I think it got mixed up in the shuffle.


----------



## wiarumas

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Does that ever happen?


Yeah. From what I recall from a psych/sociology study, generally speaking most people end up in an equal/balanced relationship. You get what you deserve kinda. Imbalanced relationships usually don't last. That is, generally a similar level of attractiveness, similar education/intelligence, similar beliefs (not always religious/political, but sense of values), lifestyle, similar upbringing, etc. 5s don't usually end up with 10s, Lawyers don't often end up with waitresses, greedy capitalists don't end up with charitable hippies, etc. Not that they can't, it's just uncommon and usually doesn't last long.


----------



## wiarumas

Rune said:


> What do you think about beard contests?


I think it's an interesting marketing technique to target a bearded demographic.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

wiarumas said:


> Yeah. From what I recall from a psych/sociology study, generally speaking most people end up in an equal/balanced relationship. You get what you deserve kinda. Imbalanced relationships usually don't last. That is, generally a similar level of attractiveness, similar education/intelligence, similar beliefs (not always religious/political, but sense of values), lifestyle, similar upbringing, etc*. 5s don't usually end up with 10s, Lawyers don't often end up with waitresses, greedy capitalists don't end up with charitable hippies,* etc. Not that they can't, it's just uncommon and usually doesn't last long.


I don't agree with this. Maybe, yes, the latter part as that is to do with personal morals but what someone does as a job shouldn't matter in a relationship. (I just bolded that part cause it made me laugh - my OH is taking the bar exam soon and I just work in a clothing store so..lol)

Lots of lawyers marry waiters/waitresses. The 5's marrying 10's thing is juststupid and I don't know many mature adults who agree with that shallow thinking. People fall in love with who they fall in love with - I don't believe it's determined on your job but your morals as a person will affect your relationships (explaining the hippy/greedy differences you said). 

And people don't always get what they deserve. Some people get more, some people get less.


----------



## phony

Have you ever sat on your balls? Was it really bad or just bad?


----------



## wiarumas

isingthebodyelectric said:


> I don't agree with this. Maybe, yes, the latter part as that is to do with personal morals but what someone does as a job shouldn't matter in a relationship. (I just bolded that part cause it made me laugh - my OH is taking the bar exam soon and I just work in a clothing store so..lol)
> 
> Lots of lawyers marry waiters/waitresses. The 5's marrying 10's thing is juststupid and I don't know many mature adults who agree with that shallow thinking. People fall in love with who they fall in love with - I don't believe it's determined on your job but your morals as a person will affect your relationships (explaining the hippy/greedy differences you said).
> 
> And people don't always get what they deserve. Some people get more, some people get less.


Here are some additional reading to supplement my post. 

The key terms are matching hypothesis, homogamy, and assortative mating. Lots of studies done on this. Here are some to get started:

https://suite.io/andrea-mckay/3n2f2hr

http://pareto.uab.es/nguner/ggksPandP-December2013.pdf

Can intelligence predict marriage success? - Curiosity

JSTOR: An Error Occurred

Income Inequality in the U.S. Means Princes Dont Go After Cinderellas - NYTimes.com

Edit. One more good one. 

http://www.eruptingmind.com/matching-hypothesis-of-interpersonal-attraction/


----------



## letter_to_dana

Does that pain when you have "blue balls" is soo terrible that you really need to have sex in order to avoid it?
Or how come some men can support it but others can't?


----------



## wiarumas

phony said:


> Have you ever sat on your balls? Was it really bad or just bad?


I have. Only once or twice. It's not that common. They hang in a way where it's typically not a problem and I think we subconsciously know how to maneuver to not harm them. 

Since there is no standardized way of differentiating bad vs really bad to properly communicate the level of pain to you, I'll just say I immediately popped back up and felt a lingering gut wrenching ache. It's uneasy and unpleasant. Probably along the lines of menstrual cramps.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

wiarumas said:


> Here are some additional reading to supplement my post.
> 
> The key terms are matching hypothesis, homogamy, and assortative mating. Lots of studies done on this. Here are some to get started:
> 
> https://suite.io/andrea-mckay/3n2f2hr
> 
> http://pareto.uab.es/nguner/ggksPandP-December2013.pdf
> 
> Can intelligence predict marriage success? - Curiosity
> 
> JSTOR: An Error Occurred
> 
> Income Inequality in the U.S. Means Princes Dont Go After Cinderellas - NYTimes.com
> 
> Edit. One more good one.
> 
> The Matching Hypothesis of Interpersonal Attraction


Guess I'm SOL then.


----------



## wiarumas

letter_to_dana said:


> Does that pain when you have "blue balls" is soo terrible that you really need to have sex in order to avoid it?
> Or how come some men can support it but others can't?


I think a lot of men exaggerate it to guilt trip the woman to relieve them. Maybe it's just me but I wouldn't say blue balls are that terrible. If 10 was sitting on your balls in the previous question (which I'm assuming is up there with menstrual cramps), blue balls is maybe 3 or 4 out of 10. If anything, blue balls is more of a psychological disappointment than physical pain.


----------



## wiarumas

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Guess I'm SOL then.


It's a general observation, not a rule. 

For example, I think I read in there that they found the correlation in 70% of relationships. While statistically significant enough to give the theory validity, id hardly consider it substantial enough to worry if it weren't true in my case. It's just less common.


----------



## letter_to_dana

After how many dates/months do a guy usually thinks his girl is significant in his life?
I mean you can't talk about "you SO" immediately, right? You talk about "your girlfriend/partener" ... but when does this woman become really important in order to present her to your friends, family members etc like your SO? Does it have to be love to be significant or how does it work for men?


Do guys like girls who are playful and want attention? Maybe a much interesting question would be... do you take these girls seriously?
I personally hate girls who are too flirtatious with everyone... friends, girlfriends, boyfriend, strangers... even teachers... Ghhh!


----------



## aendern

at what age do you stop getting spontaneous erections?

Is it something to look forward to or dread?


----------



## ninjamaster

letter_to_dana said:


> After how many dates/months do a guy usually thinks his girl is significant in his life?
> I mean you can't talk about "you SO" immediately, right? You talk about "your girlfriend/partener" ... but when does this woman become really important in order to present her to your friends, family members etc like your SO? Does it have to be love to be significant or how does it work for men?
> 
> 
> Do guys like girls who are playful and want attention? Maybe a much interesting question would be... do you take these girls seriously?
> I personally hate girls who are too flirtatious with everyone... friends, girlfriends, boyfriend, strangers... even teachers... Ghhh!


In other cultures, they just ask.

Sent from my LS670 using Tapatalk 2


----------



## foi_unbound

i have no question to ask you because i know you are not a caricature of a man nuf said.


----------



## Superfluous

nvm ha


----------



## letter_to_dana

@arkmabat

Ummmm ... can you please explain what you wanted to say?


----------



## drmiller100

emberfly said:


> at what age do you stop getting spontaneous erections?
> 
> Is it something to look forward to or dread?


18 to 20. 

after a while things only rise to appropriate occasions. Mostly.


----------



## aendern

drmiller100 said:


> 18 to 20.
> 
> after a while things only rise to appropriate occasions. Mostly.


I'm 21 :'(


----------



## ninjamaster

letter_to_dana said:


> @arkmabat
> 
> Ummmm ... can you please explain what you wanted to say?


For instance: "quiere ser novios?"


----------



## ninjamaster

drmiller100 said:


> 18 to 20.
> 
> after a while things only rise to appropriate occasions. Mostly.


I'm 23. Yikes. 

Sent from my LS670 using Tapatalk 2


----------



## musician gal

How do you know when a man actually likes you past just sex. I'm tired of shallow guys. Either guys want an immediate relationship after they've been around me on only one date or they want sex. -I understand sex is a need for guys, but I don't want to be used and only viewed as a sex object. I wish there were guys that were deep and wanted a proper relationship. I hate dating.


----------



## wiarumas

isingthebodyelectric said:


> What would you think if one of your ONS or STR girlfriends told you she might be pregnant?


I would think the period is late and she's fresking out or she is lying. If you practice safe sex, particularly redundant birth control methods (condom + pill, pill + pull out, etc), the chances are so infinitely small, it would be unlikely.


----------



## wiarumas

musician gal said:


> How do you know when a man actually likes you past just sex. I'm tired of shallow guys. Either guys want an immediate relationship after they've been around me on only one date or they want sex. -I understand sex is a need for guys, but I don't want to be used and only viewed as a sex object. I wish there were guys that were deep and wanted a proper relationship. I hate dating.


I think from the content of your post, you know when a man actually likes you. And you know what you want. It's more of a matter of why aren't finding the type of men you want and how you can better avoid the ones you have a tendency to date currently. Remember, you choose the people you date. If you aren't happy with the type of men you end up with, make changes.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

wiarumas said:


> I would think the period is late and she's fresking out or she is lying. If you practice safe sex, particularly redundant birth control methods (condom + pill, pill + pull out, etc), the chances are so infinitely small, it would be unlikely.


It happens with all of those methods, even combined. I was just asking your reactions is all.


----------



## Kyandigaru

why do men treat the next woman they date, the way they should of treated the ex? 

example, The ex always asked about traveling but he never went with her. He promised but never did it. They break up, then he takes the new girlfriend to Puerto Rico WITHOUT her even asking to go. 

Why do men do this? is it to hurt the ex?


----------



## wyldstyle

What do you guys think of the appearance of a woman's pussy. Hair or no hair? Can it look a way that makes you turned off? Or are you just happy to be there LOL.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

Kyandigaru said:


> why do men treat the next woman they date, the way they should of treated the ex?
> 
> example, The ex always asked about traveling but he never went with her. He promised but never did it. They break up, then he takes the new girlfriend to Puerto Rico WITHOUT her even asking to go.
> 
> Why do men do this? is it to hurt the ex?


The only reason I could see is an opportunity. I would never do something like this to hurt someone.


----------



## wiarumas

Kyandigaru said:


> why do men treat the next woman they date, the way they should of treated the ex?
> 
> example, The ex always asked about traveling but he never went with her. He promised but never did it. They break up, then he takes the new girlfriend to Puerto Rico WITHOUT her even asking to go.
> 
> Why do men do this? is it to hurt the ex?


Exgfs aren't even a thought, so its probably not to hurt them (that seems like a dumb idea to spend a ton of money and have a good time just to emotionally hurt someone who isn't even a part of their life anymore?). Its most likely accidental or coincidence. Possibly a seed of an idea was planted that didn't present itself as a good idea until the opportunity came. 

I also don't like being pressured/forced to do something, but I'm perfectly fine doing it on my own terms. Ie, the woman that demands flowers, is less likely to get it than the one that doesn't expect it, but loves it when i do. Or one girlfriend that expected men to open all doors - even though I always try to open doors, the fact that she expected it, made me reluctant to do so. Its less special and detracts from the thought of it. Or the worst of all, when a woman pressures the man into buying a ring and proposing. If he's going to do it, he's going to do it on his own, else it cheapens it. I think?


----------



## wiarumas

wyldstyle said:


> What do you guys think of the appearance of a woman's pussy. Hair or no hair? Can it look a way that makes you turned off? Or are you just happy to be there LOL.


Its all personal preference. There are men that like it every way.

I don't think there is anything that would turn me off besides a huge neglect of personal hygiene. Personally, I prefer it neat/groomed. Shaved, hair, landing strip, whatever, just make sure its given some attention.

I also like when women change it. If I'm dating a girl, its nice when she's shaved, but then she lets it grow out, its different and I enjoy that. Shaves it off, and that's new and exciting, and so on...


----------



## BlackShugar

Being an intuitive and rare, what do you make of sensors ? Do you look down on them or do you wish being one ? Any opinion ?


----------



## wiarumas

BlackShugar said:


> Being an intuitive and rare, what do you make of sensors ? Do you look down on them or do you wish being one ? Any opinion ?


Neither. I see no point in either option. Looking down on someone (without them truly earning it) only artificially feeds the ego, and mines not exactly starving lol; and wishing to be one is a form of defeat/surrender.

The world needs different types of people. While I sometimes feel like I don't understand or fit in with some more sensor aligned tasks, interests, etc, I understand the purpose in the world. I do my thing and not worry about everyone else.


----------



## BlackShugar

wiarumas said:


> Neither. I see no point in either option. Looking down on someone (without them truly earning it) only artificially feeds the ego, and mines not exactly starving lol; and wishing to be one is a form of defeat/surrender.
> 
> The world needs different types of people. While I sometimes feel like I don't understand or fit in with some more sensor aligned tasks, interests, etc, I understand the purpose in the world. I do my thing and not worry about everyone else.


Hmmm...that's quite a wise insight. And how do you get along with them ? From THEIR point of view, are you any different or weird or anything ? And what is your internal response towards people who misunderstand you at times ?


----------



## wiarumas

BlackShugar said:


> Hmmm...that's quite a wise insight. And how do you get along with them ? From THEIR point of view, are you any different or weird or anything ? And what is your internal response towards people who misunderstand you at times ?


I get along with people. Even if we are different, that is perfectly fine. I am who I am and they are who they are. I'm not out to police what people think of me - I just have to do what I think is best for me.

As for thinking I'm different or weird, probably. If I'm happy being different and weird, then that's their problem, not mine. As for misunderstanding, I don't think I get misunderstood often. Or, at least, I don't notice it. I may have the opposite problem - making people understand even when they don't want to.


----------



## Kyandigaru

i understand that concept, but what if the woman IS'NT pressuring him? is it then okay to assume that he just wasted her time and not really the one for her?


----------



## wiarumas

Kyandigaru said:


> i understand that concept, but what if the woman IS'NT pressuring him? is it then okay to assume that he just wasted her time and not really the one for her?


I don't view it as a waste of time. Sometimes you have to go through the experience to know that you aren't the one for her.

I think its a waste of time if either party sticks around despite knowing that, but staying in the relationship in denial.


----------



## Wellsy

What do you think the impact of peaceful protests are?


----------



## Morfy

Wellsy said:


> What do you think the impact of peaceful protests are?


It's the only kind of protest that even has the possibility of having a positive impact. Fighting fire with fire generally doesn't work (I have never seen firefighters shoot at a burning house with flamethrowers owo)


----------



## wiarumas

Wellsy said:


> What do you think the impact of peaceful protests are?


There are a lot of factors to consider, such as how many people are protesting, what they are protesting against, and how they are peacefully protesting (are they signing petitions, standing in a field, refusing to buy products, etc). It has a lot to do with leverage. Customers have a lot of leverage against corporations, citizens have a lot of leverage against its government, and so on. You have to give a real reason for change - real ramifications if they continue as normal and incentive to discontinue.

I disagree that violence doesn't have a positive impact. There are many scenarios where it's the best option. It ended hitter and the nazis, slavery in the US, overthrew numerous corrupt leaders, kings, and queens. Peaceful protests didn't work out so well in World War II Germany and would only lead to starvation during the French Revolution. 

And firefighters do use fire to fight fire. They often do controlled burns in off seasons to prevent larger fires from occurring.


----------



## musician gal

@wiarumas and/or any male: 

K, new problem. My exboyfriend that I had an on-off for 7 years contacted me all last year to take him back...I didn't. He contacted me again recently over the past few days after not hearing from him for several months (he was hurt that I had moved on and was dating...now I'm single) and he texted me on my cell saying he wants me to suck his cock and then a couple days later said, "I want to come home." -He's an ENFP. And mind you, I broke up with him after finding out he was texting his ex-girlfriend daily and telling her he was "in love" with her. -I asked him if it was true...he said it was...I kicked him out and he was angry and refused to leave telling me that we are family and it's his home. He took a bus all the way to the state where this ex lived...she changed her number and refused to take him in....he found someone to let him stay for free in exchange for doing chores and lives nearby her....they are friends but not dating. He claims I was the one that pushed him away and doesn't see that I put him out cuz he was making plans to be with her and wanted me to know about it (I don't know if it was to make me jealous? sometimes he liked playing games like that to push me to react cuz I was "aloof"). 

So, what do you think? He used to be persistent all last year for me to take him back. Didn't hear from him since December and now all of a sudden a text to say he wants me to suck his cock and then a few days later him texting me that he wants to come home. 

I'm still pretty pissed off at him and don't trust him. I love him. But I don't know what his motives are?? -Also, all last year he wanted to convince me to go into business together and live together but not as boyfriend/girlfriend, stated he didn't want a relationship and wanted to focus on the business.... and then kept saying sexual things to me. 

Is he a loser?? Thanks again !!!


----------



## wiarumas

musician gal said:


> @wiarumas and/or any male:
> 
> K, new problem. My exboyfriend that I had an on-off for 7 years contacted me all last year to take him back...I didn't. He contacted me again recently over the past few days after not hearing from him for several months (he was hurt that I had moved on and was dating...now I'm single) and he texted me on my cell saying he wants me to suck his cock and then a couple days later said, "I want to come home." -He's an ENFP. And mind you, I broke up with him after finding out he was texting his ex-girlfriend daily and telling her he was "in love" with her. -I asked him if it was true...he said it was...I kicked him out and he was angry and refused to leave telling me that we are family and it's his home. He took a bus all the way to the state where this ex lived...she changed her number and refused to take him in....he found someone to let him stay for free in exchange for doing chores and lives nearby her....they are friends but not dating. He claims I was the one that pushed him away and doesn't see that I put him out cuz he was making plans to be with her and wanted me to know about it (I don't know if it was to make me jealous? sometimes he liked playing games like that to push me to react cuz I was "aloof").
> 
> So, what do you think? He used to be persistent all last year for me to take him back. Didn't hear from him since December and now all of a sudden a text to say he wants me to suck his cock and then a few days later him texting me that he wants to come home.
> 
> I'm still pretty pissed off at him and don't trust him. I love him. But I don't know what his motives are?? -Also, all last year he wanted to convince me to go into business together and live together but not as boyfriend/girlfriend, stated he didn't want a relationship and wanted to focus on the business.... and then kept saying sexual things to me.
> 
> Is he a loser?? Thanks again !!!


He doesn't want a relationship with you. He wants you because you are convenient and accessible.

He must be single, lonely, bored, horny, drunk/high, and/or had some sort of recent fall out with someone else and is looking for that comfort person he keeps in his back pocket. He knows you two have history and lingering emotions and is trying to capitalize on that for a quick fix to hold him over until the next on/off session and finds someone new. Seven years in the making, the trend is likely to continue.

A loser, I'm not sure. But definitely not a healthy relationship. If I were you, I would stand up for myself. The nicer you are to him, the more likely he is to continue to mess with you for years with no real intentions. So be firm and put an end to it.


----------



## Serenitylala

wiarumas said:


> He doesn't want a relationship with you. He wants you because you are convenient and accessible.
> 
> He must be single, lonely, bored, horny, drunk/high, and/or had some sort of recent fall out with someone else and is looking for that comfort person he keeps in his back pocket. He knows you two have history and lingering emotions and is trying to capitalize on that for a quick fix to hold him over until the next on/off session and finds someone new. Seven years in the making, the trend is likely to continue.
> 
> A loser, I'm not sure. But definitely not a healthy relationship. If I were you, I would stand up for myself. The nicer you are to him, the more likely he is to continue to mess with you for years with no real intentions. So be firm and put an end to it.


Agreed. He's "shelfing" her ... Putting her on a shelf for easy access to later when it convenient for him. He's the kind of guy that should be kicked to the curb.

Good advice.


----------



## musician gal

wiarumas said:


> He doesn't want a relationship with you. He wants you because you are convenient and accessible.
> 
> He must be single, lonely, bored, horny, drunk/high, and/or had some sort of recent fall out with someone else and is looking for that comfort person he keeps in his back pocket. He knows you two have history and lingering emotions and is trying to capitalize on that for a quick fix to hold him over until the next on/off session and finds someone new. Seven years in the making, the trend is likely to continue.
> 
> A loser, I'm not sure. But definitely not a healthy relationship. If I were you, I would stand up for myself. The nicer you are to him, the more likely he is to continue to mess with you for years with no real intentions. So be firm and put an end to it.


that's what I was afraid of....thank you so much for your frank honesty !!


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## letter_to_dana

wiarumas said:


> He doesn't want a relationship with you. He wants you because you are convenient and accessible.
> 
> The nicer you are to him, the more likely he is to continue to mess with you for years with no real intentions.


And why do you guys do that?
Why is it easier to keep a girl in that place "for when you need her"? Why are *some* men such cowards?! :frustrating:


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## wiarumas

letter_to_dana said:


> And why do you guys do that?
> Why is it easier to keep a girl in that place "for when you need her"? Why are *some* men such cowards?! :frustrating:


I don't think its cowardly. It sounds like he is pretty honest about what he wants. Mainly, sex.

He doesn't want to be with her "forever" or have a family with her or anything like that. To him, he's being honest about his intentions. Most likely, that's where he is at in his life just wanting casual relationships and sex. He thinks, I'm enjoying myself, she's enjoying herself. We're young. We'll ride it out and when its done, we'll move on and if we are both single again, we'll meet up and do it all over again. No harm no foul. 

At least in his eyes, because he very well might be oblivious to what she wants. Until a woman stands up for herself and let it be known that she doesn't want that, he might think she's cool with it just because she goes along with it on/off for seven years.


----------



## Wellsy

letter_to_dana said:


> And why do you guys do that?
> Why is it easier to keep a girl in that place "for when you need her"? Why are *some* men such cowards?! :frustrating:


This sounds more like a question of frustration that to me is the equivalent to just a general...
why are people cruel?
Why do bad things happen?

There's reasons but no answer that would really satisfy I imagine.
But I would boil it down to just self interest.
People work best when their goals match, someone people aren't willing to meet in the middle and will use others to their own ends without the balance of giving anything back.
But hopefully a person asserts their boundaries and doesn't enable the behaviour when they have mismatched goals.


----------



## letter_to_dana

Wellsy said:


> This sounds more like a question of frustration that to me is the equivalent to just a general...
> why are people cruel?
> Why do bad things happen?


Not really. My question was pretty general I guess but it doesn't comes from frustration anymore. I had some bad experiences too so I empathized with @musician gal questions. Other than that I just wanted to see some specific ways of how men think these things.
Now leaving that case alone and talking about the general situations...
Maybe you guys believe you make your intentions known and clear but if that would be true, how come there are so many girls hurt? Is it because they don't have clear boundaries as you guys do? I'm just wondering.
To me, as a very straightforwarded girl some guys are just too cowards yea.


----------



## wyldstyle

musician gal said:


> @wiarumas and/or any male:
> 
> K, new problem. My exboyfriend that I had an on-off for 7 years contacted me all last year to take him back...I didn't. He contacted me again recently over the past few days after not hearing from him for several months (he was hurt that I had moved on and was dating...now I'm single) and he texted me on my cell saying he wants me to suck his cock and then a couple days later said, "I want to come home." -He's an ENFP.
> 
> I'm still pretty pissed off at him and don't trust him. I love him. But I don't know what his motives are?? -Also, all last year he wanted to convince me to go into business together and live together but not as boyfriend/girlfriend, stated he didn't want a relationship and wanted to focus on the business.... and then kept saying sexual things to me.
> 
> Is he a loser?? Thanks again !!!




UH...that sounds like an email you'd get from a FWB...someone asking you to suck their cock.

Obviously he can read your feelings and know that they are still there. What does your intuition tell you...is he a loser? It all reads pretty bad from my end.


----------



## wyldstyle

letter_to_dana said:


> And why do you guys do that?
> Why is it easier to keep a girl in that place "for when you need her"? Why are *some* men such cowards?! :frustrating:


It is really difficult to find a safe and sane woman who will have sex with them. Wait, I am not a man I shouldn't be answering this thread should I? LOL. A guy I know told me about posting online for casual sex, the overwhelming replies he got were from MEN or MEN impersonating women, or seriously questionable or flaky women. 

Oh BTW, if you ever get sexually liberated as a woman on the flip side you get the pick of the litter so to speak...


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## Wellsy

letter_to_dana said:


> Not really. My question was pretty general I guess but it doesn't comes from frustration anymore. I had some bad experiences too so I empathized with @musician gal questions. Other than that I just wanted to see some specific ways of how men think these things.
> Now leaving that case alone and talking about the general situations...
> Maybe you guys believe you make your intentions known and clear but if that would be true, how come there are so many girls hurt? Is it because they don't have clear boundaries as you guys do? Or is it something about the behaviour of both parteners? I'm just wondering.
> To me, as a very straightforwarded girl some guys are just too cowards yea.


I apologize, I didn't mean to imply you were feeling frustrated but question itself sounds like one.

I'm going to suck at answering these, it just makes me branch out in my thoughts, hard to think succinctly and to a point.
Some women may not have clear boundaries sure, if somethings bothering you and you don't voice it and defend it then it's not surprising when people cross it.
It does take two to tango though, it's no surprise that many people end up hurt because people aren't honest about their intentions.
Like it's fine for a man to want sex, but he has to find a woman whom he wants sex with who actually want's it back. Its a bad thing when a man seduces a woman under the pretense of being in love with her only to get access to sex and then leave her.
That is an example of mismatched goals, he wants sex, she wants a relationship. 
These conflicts of interest spark problems regardless what the goal is.
A man who wants to start a family regardless of how much he loves his partner is probably not best suited for her if she is adamant about not wanting a family.
In such situations it's best when people can openly discuss things and perhaps negotiate things so they can come to an agreement. But of course not all people are to such standards of behaviour. But people don't because they don't feel comfortable opening up like that, they don't know how to articulate what they feel/think, they aren't even self aware of the impact of their actions and why they do what they do.

I really don't know how to answer why people are such dicks who are willing to do unscrupulous things to get what they want.
I feel like you already know the general gist of this sort of thing, you've mentioned you've had bad experiences. You could attribute so many meanings to people's behaviour, problems with their upbringing, their culture, their beliefs, their maturity. Basically anything that makes a person who they are that would motivate one's behaviour.
The OP surely will have a answer with more clarity hahaha.


----------



## wiarumas

letter_to_dana said:


> Not really. My question was pretty general I guess but it doesn't comes from frustration anymore. I had some bad experiences too so I empathized with @musician gal questions. Other than that I just wanted to see some specific ways of how men think these things.
> Now leaving that case alone and talking about the general situations...
> Maybe you guys believe you make your intentions known and clear but if that would be true, how come there are so many girls hurt? Is it because they don't have clear boundaries as you guys do? I'm just wondering.
> To me, as a very straightforwarded girl some guys are just too cowards yea.


Why are they hurt?

Intentions shouldn't be assumed. Eventually in a relationship things should be discussed and made clear that the couple is on the same page. If a person doesn't want the same things you do, I would not recommend staying with that person hoping things change or that the person can convince him or her. Also, not discussing it is a mistake. Not because you won't know what the other person's intentions are, but you also aren't telling the other person what you want. You have to have standards and assert yourself. Otherwise, people will unknowingly trample your expectations and end up hurt.

I'm not talking about marriage and kids right off the bat, but if a person wants a long term relationship, they have to mention that. If I'm dating a girl and we have sex on the first couple dates, it doesn't mean I want to be with her a long time. All it means is that I wanted to have sex with her and by her letting me, I'm under the assumption that she wanted to have sex with me too. So we're both happy; or at least that's all I can assume based on the information provided. Now, if she specifically says that she doesn't want a casual relationship and wants something long term, that changes things for me. Now I question whether I should have sex with her or not unless I am willing to sign up for what she wants. 

I think that's all it is. People wanting different things and not talking about it.


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## letter_to_dana

wiarumas said:


> If I'm dating a girl and we have sex on the first couple dates, it doesn't mean I want to be with her a long time. All it means is that I wanted to have sex with her and by her letting me, I'm under the assumption that she wanted to have sex with me too. So we're both happy; or at least that's all I can assume based on the information provided. Now, if she specifically says that she doesn't want a casual relationship and wants something long term, that changes things for me.


That covers everything I asked. Thank you.
Now I understand better the term of 'casual relationship'.


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## musician gal

Wellsy said:


> This sounds more like a question of frustration that to me is the equivalent to just a general...
> why are people cruel?
> Why do bad things happen?
> 
> There's reasons but no answer that would really satisfy I imagine.
> But I would boil it down to just self interest.
> People work best when their goals match, someone people aren't willing to meet in the middle and will use others to their own ends without the balance of giving anything back.
> But hopefully a person asserts their boundaries and doesn't enable the behaviour when they have mismatched goals.


that definitely agrees with how I feel.


----------



## musician gal

wiarumas said:


> I don't think its cowardly. It sounds like he is pretty honest about what he wants. Mainly, sex.
> 
> He doesn't want to be with her "forever" or have a family with her or anything like that. To him, he's being honest about his intentions. Most likely, that's where he is at in his life just wanting casual relationships and sex. He thinks, I'm enjoying myself, she's enjoying herself. We're young. We'll ride it out and when its done, we'll move on and if we are both single again, we'll meet up and do it all over again. No harm no foul.
> 
> At least in his eyes, because he very well might be oblivious to what she wants. Until a woman stands up for herself and let it be known that she doesn't want that, he might think she's cool with it just because she goes along with it on/off for seven years.


Actually I did assert myself and often kicked him out of my life. He knew full well that I'm an INFJ that wants a deep relationship and not shallow or casual. He used to be my neighbor and when I was dating and trying to get into a relationship with another guy....he intimidated him and started a fight to make him scared and back off. -I moved to get away from him....he started going to my church and places that I frequented to win me back and claimed he loved me and wanted a relationship. So, I'd take him back due to being worn down by his persistence. Then I kicked him out of my life for a full year to focus on grad school and because he told me he was in love with an ex-girlfriend that he had dated many many years ago. -So, he hacked into my emails and Facebook and "befriended" a few guys that were interested in me. -Anyway, he's a creep. I texted him when he called me today and told him to "F**k off" and that he was only using me and I wasn't going to allow that to carry on and that he didn't deserve me and needs to date losers on his own level. I let him know that I think he's a player and I have no desire to be his back-up girl or whatever his selfish motives are. -He consistently confused me, "I love you. I want to be with you. We need to stay together, etc." and then once we got together, "I love so and so." and games like that. But he also had an extremely high need to be validated constantly and was hyper sensitive and low self esteem. -if a convenience store clerk was rude or not friendly....he'd complain and vent for hours about it. -So, I guess I didn't meet his high needs to be constantly validated and told how "awesome" he is all the time....I think that's why he needed the new relationships that never lasted....he'd tell them that he went to such and such school, briefly served in the Army and (sort of) plays guitar and party girls that are nothing like me would swoon. -I'm the opposite of his norm of what he plays with.


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## Serenitylala

What makes you say, 'this woman is the one, the one I want to marry' above all other women you are with?

What about a woman attracts you to her in the first place.... For instance from the moment you first see her, that makes you want to get to know her more? And what makes you coming back to date her time and time again?

I'm not talking about sex... I'm talking about everything else.


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## JaySH

Serenitylala said:


> What makes you say, 'this woman is the one, the one I want to marry' above all other women you are with?
> *This is impossible to answer, unless you've found (what you believe to be) the one. The one woman I felt that way about...it was how she made me feel...how she gave me this desire to be a better version of myself...she inspired me without trying to. She became part of every decision I made...even if only on a subconscious level at times..she was still there.
> *
> What about a woman attracts you to her in the first place.... For instance from the moment you first see her, that makes you want to get to know her more? And what makes you coming back to date her time and time again?
> 
> *This is different with every women I've ever been attracted to and our initial interaction. Sometimes, it's been her eyes. There's so much to be seen in the eyes other than just their color...kindness tends to show through them somehow. Sometimes it's how she is interacting with others...just a natural friendliness...even if somewhat sheepish, that she exhibits. Sometimes it's been conversation that that was sparked (by me...) due to an unexplainable chemistry...and, the conversation only strengthened that...for me...it's always different*.
> 
> *Coming back would be due to her and I ...clicking...her having a friendliness and strength to her. And, and this is important...her seeming to be both "real" and honest in general...Fake and dishonest are deal breakers and I can usually pick them out pretty fast.* *Knowing she has flaws (not necessarily speaking physically) but not letting them define her...and her not acting as if she is above others.
> *
> I'm not talking about sex... I'm talking about everything else.


I figured...but, for sexual attraction...it's both eyes and the ass....shallow maybe but..yeah. :tongue:


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## Wellsy

Serenitylala said:


> What makes you say, 'this woman is the one, the one I want to marry' above all other women you are with?
> 
> What about a woman attracts you to her in the first place.... For instance from the moment you first see her, that makes you want to get to know her more? And what makes you coming back to date her time and time again?
> 
> I'm not talking about sex... I'm talking about everything else.


I haven't even been in a relationship but after asking a member on here why she married the man she did, she responded she couldn't imagine herself being with anyone else.
I suppose you could throw in some practical things like you don't expect any conflicts of want/lack of family, religious differences, strong values shared or at least capable of respecting a difference of opinion, desire to support one another and say what one means do what one says.
How this feeling comes to be I don't know exactly, I suppose you just see that they're a quality person in all, that they have a standard that they apply to themselves that they maintain and when they get sloppy they just need a little love and tenderness to be back to their wonderful self.

I'm not sure, I think I look for a good conversation.
If I can converse with her smoothly in the way that comes naturally to me I feel rather pleased because it means I can be myself.
But I imagine I look at her overall, I remember being introduced to one girl barely spoke to her but I felt compelled to speak to her some more at a different time.
She became a wonderful friend and gave me wonderful conversations.
She even forced me to stop being so serious at times and be silly, play is very important I believe.
But I believe you're seeking an answer of where can I find the kind of man who won't leave, who'll stick around.
There's no gaurantees with this, even the best of people may end up leaving for unforeseeable reasons, but I suppose you must look deep into their character and try and see if they have good intentions and ones which they'll abide by.
Some people can seem good but they still serve their own interests, we can only evaluate people to the best of our ability and take a chance on them. The person who makes us feel good more often than bad is likely to be a person that we'll want to remain with.


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution

wiarumas said:


> I don't think its cowardly. It sounds like he is pretty honest about what he wants. Mainly, sex.
> 
> He doesn't want to be with her "forever" or have a family with her or anything like that. To him, he's being honest about his intentions. Most likely, that's where he is at in his life just wanting casual relationships and sex. He thinks, I'm enjoying myself, she's enjoying herself. We're young. We'll ride it out and when its done, we'll move on and if we are both single again, we'll meet up and do it all over again. No harm no foul.
> 
> At least in his eyes, because he very well might be oblivious to what she wants. Until a woman stands up for herself and let it be known that she doesn't want that, he might think she's cool with it just because she goes along with it on/off for seven years.


Surely it's cowardly not to communicate it and make it clear to someone else that's all you want them for? And selfish?


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## musician gal

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Surely it's cowardly not to communicate it and make it clear to someone else that's all you want them for? And selfish?


if you see my response above in the thread....he was persistent in pursuing me and claimed he loved me. -so that message mixed with the sex crap confused me. -so, in my opinion he's beyond a coward. 

and all of ya'll (not just you others in the thread, too) talking about this like I'm not here makes me feel invisible and hurt even more. This is recent....as in today that he contacted me and I told him to "f**k off", etc.


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution

musician gal said:


> if you see my response above in the thread....he was persistent in pursuing me and claimed he loved me. -so that message mixed with the sex crap confused me. -so, in my opinion he's beyond a coward.
> 
> and all of ya'll (not just you others in the thread, too) talking about this like I'm not here makes me feel invisible and hurt even more. This is recent....as in today that he contacted me and I told him to "f**k off", etc.


Absolutely a coward and a liar then.


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## musician gal

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Absolutely a coward and a liar then.


thank you !!! I needed that !!!


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## aeralin

Why do guys wear beards? Do they think they are sexier with them? I don't have a personal preference but I really hate having beard burn and itching wherever it is and being unable to fall asleep.

Do you ever pee while taking a shit? As a girl I do this all the time, however since the majority of you stand to piss, I am just wondering if you like stand to piss than sit down and take your shit? How often?


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## ai.tran.75

To pp I like men with beard - to some men (not all) it's sexy but I'm not a man so my answer is invalid 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## ai.tran.75

Do you guys have more male or female friends ?

Do you find it easier or more difficult to communicate with the opposite sex?

Do you talk differently towards women ?





Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Wellsy

@ai.tran.75

*Do you guys have more male or female friends ?*
Male
*Do you find it easier or more difficult to communicate with the opposite sex?*
Easiest with people who don't try and police behavior around gender roles mostly. In this regard I tend to think some women police men's rigid gender roles less than other men.
*Do you talk differently towards women ?*
Talk differently to lot of people, more about their personality than sex.
It's like a chemical reaction, some are more responsive to other and react in different ways. 
It evolves on it's own, but someones gender can certainly be a determinant as a part of what demographic they belong to which will likely effect how likely I am to get along with them.
With the assumption earlier that men are more likely to police gender roles than some women though once again this a demographic thing as some women do police it, I certainly talk more openly with women and often they seem more interested in my ideas and listening than other men do.


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## zaczacattack

aeralin said:


> Do you ever pee while taking a shit? As a girl I do this all the time, however since the majority of you stand to piss, I am just wondering if you like stand to piss than sit down and take your shit? How often?


I like your way with words.

To answer the question, yes. I'll take care of both simultaneously while sitting if need be.


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## Wellsy

aeralin said:


> Why do guys wear beards? Do they think they are sexier with them? I don't have a personal preference but I really hate having beard burn and itching wherever it is and being unable to fall asleep.
> 
> Do you ever pee while taking a shit? As a girl I do this all the time, however since the majority of you stand to piss, I am just wondering if you like stand to piss than sit down and take your shit? How often?


Makes one feel manly, they like the look, too lazy to shave etc

Well if i'm taking a shit then easier to just piss then. I don't exactly schedule and take recordings of my shit piss moments XD Let's just go with sometimes.


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## iHeartCats

Are you married and if you are would you ever cheat on your wife, please answer honestly or don't answer at all


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## intp_gurl

1. Is there a way to know if a man likes, face, boobs, or body ( legs, butt, etc) the most without asking him.


2. do you feel the need to have more than one woman at a time. Why


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## drmiller100

i had a beard for almost 30 years.  i shaved it, grew scruff. vast majority of ladies REALLY seem to like the 5 oclock shadow thing. I'm single and looking, so fine with me. 
I HATE shaving every day, and it gets scratchy.

When i need to poop, i sit down. i void my bladder first, then poop. then wipe.

I used to be scared of women. nervous. I got over it. now I have more female friends then men. And better female friends then men.

I was married for 15 years. i hated her for 12 of those years. I never cheated, never came close. 

I want to be in love with a really great quality lady. I also have a desire to have variety once in a while, and I won't lie or cheat.

So far no great quality lady, so I'm stuck with variety. I think my drive for variety is rooted in my Sx stacking.


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## FakeLefty

ai.tran.75 said:


> Do you guys have more male or female friends ?
> *Male*
> Do you find it easier or more difficult to communicate with the opposite sex?
> *It really depends on the individual for me rather than the gender.*
> Do you talk differently towards women ?
> *It really depends on the individual. Some women I'll have an easy time speaking to. Others... not so much.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


 @ai.tran.75


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## DoctorShoe

ai.tran.75 said:


> Do you guys have more male or female friends ?
> 
> Do you find it easier or more difficult to communicate with the opposite sex?
> 
> Do you talk differently towards women ?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


*1. *I don't really have any friends at the moment(at least not offline), but yes I usually have more male friends than female.

*2. *I find it more difficult to communicate with the opposite sex. Beyond necessary socializing(example: exchanging niceties with a cashier), I don't find myself talking to the opposite sex very often. 

*3. *I think I would only talk differently towards a woman if I were attracted to her.


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## intp_gurl

drmiller100 said:


> i had a beard for almost 30 years. i shaved it, grew scruff. vast majority of ladies REALLY seem to like the 5 oclock shadow thing. I'm single and looking, so fine with me.
> I HATE shaving every day, and it gets scratchy.
> 
> When i need to poop, i sit down. i void my bladder first, then poop. then wipe.
> 
> I used to be scared of women. nervous. I got over it. now I have more female friends then men. And better female friends then men.
> 
> I was married for 15 years. i hated her for 12 of those years. I never cheated, never came close.
> 
> I want to be in love with a really great quality lady. I also have a desire to have variety once in a while, and I won't lie or cheat.
> 
> So far no great quality lady, so I'm stuck with variety. I think my drive for variety is rooted in my Sx stacking.


At least you loved her for 3, and *why didn't you leave, especially since cheating is not an option for you. *


----------



## stargazing grasshopper

intp_gurl said:


> At least you loved her for 3, and *why didn't you leave, especially since cheating is not an option for you. *



Maybe children? Wanting to maintain strong bonds with your children rather than grow apart from them, will often give a guy the strength to endure a lot of abuse.


----------



## drmiller100

intp_gurl said:


> At least you loved her for 3, and *why didn't you leave, especially since cheating is not an option for you. *


about the time i was ready to give up she got pregnant. 

i can survive just fine without sex or emotional support from my spouse. 

I CAN do it. I will never do it again though.


----------



## intp_gurl

drmiller100 said:


> about the time i was ready to give up she got pregnant.
> 
> i can survive just fine without sex or emotional support from my spouse.
> 
> I CAN do it. I will never do it again though.



So you stayed for the children.* Was it sexless after the first 3 years of love.*


*1.what do you find yourself wanting more from a relationship, physical or emotional intimacy.*

* 2.Also, if you could have only one thing, would you rather a woman's love or respect?*


----------



## drmiller100

intp_gurl said:


> So you stayed for the children.* Was it sexless after the first 3 years of love.*
> 
> 
> *1.what do you find yourself wanting more from a relationship, physical or emotional intimacy.*
> 
> * 2.Also, if you could have only one thing, would you rather a woman's love or respect?*


we had sex once in a while. I guess hated her was too strong a word. I was pretty unhappy though.
sex is a pretty small part of a marriage. when things went well, sex was good. sometimes sex was good when other things sucked.

relationship. what do you mean by that? I have a relationship with you - we are conversing back and forth, although we will never meet in person. Rigth now I want nothing more from you other than civil discourse and exchange of ideas.

I like sex. I like friendships. sometimes i have sex wtih a friend. sometimes with a woman I love.


----------



## intp_gurl

1. What do you, men in general want most from a relationship, the physical part or emotional part. If you could only have one, for the rest of your existence. 

I find personally, men prefer the physical at all costs. Sometimes being physical to the detriment of the emotional. Trying to stay emotionally distant to avoid heartbreak.


----------



## dizzycactus

intp_gurl said:


> 1. What do you, men in general want most from a relationship, the physical part or emotional part. If you could only have one, for the rest of your existence.
> 
> I find personally, men prefer the physical at all costs. Sometimes being physical to the detriment of the emotional. Trying to stay emotionally distant to avoid heartbreak.


Why do girls see the two as separate entities?


----------



## mony

What are the best gifts for men? Worst gifts?


----------



## Con fused

wiarumas said:


> My wife is an ISTJ type 5.
> 
> The executive at home question is not easy to answer. Executives, in my opinion, do not micromanage. We set big gears in motion and delegate. Or at least the good ones do. I think this is true at home. My wife is definitely micromanaging and I listen. The way the dishwasher is loaded and stuff put away in cabinets is all by her instruction, mostly because I don't care enough to argue otherwise. Finances, any type of planning, keeping things stocked, etc are all my domain. I think it's this shared responsibility, which is determined by who is better at it, works well for us. If I am the CEO, she is the COO. (But I do cook more than she does). Forget gender roles, it's about the best person for the job.
> 
> At work I am far from an executive, but I do manage people.
> 
> I have 1 kid and I am very involved in the care. I spend at least an hour in the morning with him, couple hours at night depending on what time I get home, all day Fridays when I telework, and we typically do stuff on the weekend. I feed, change diapers, carry, put to sleep, etc. No job is below me or restricted to women only... although my wife is better at administering medication.


Struggling in a relationship with an intp. Curious since your an N type, do you value your wife's istj qualities? Do you find her boring?


----------



## daleks_exterminate

How big is your penis?

(...sorry I had to. Lol)


----------



## Mr. Meepers

Been a long time since I was in this thread. What did I miss? :crazy: :tongue:



Daleks_exterminate said:


> How big is your penis?
> 
> (...sorry I had to. Lol)


Well, why don't you find out for yourself :wink:


----------



## Wellsy

Daleks_exterminate said:


> How big is your penis?
> 
> (...sorry I had to. Lol)


Just on the 6 inch/15+cm mark.
I never measured girth.


----------



## Squirrel

@wiarumas 
What is with the trend with guys shaving their heads and growing beards?


----------



## Con fused

dagnytaggart said:


> Think you're taking things a little more seriously than was intended.


 Love your avatar


----------



## MindBomb

Daleks_exterminate said:


> At what point do you go from having a casual interest in someone to liking them in a more focused way?


When someone whom I am attracted to matches what I know I need in a partner, the life stage that I'm at, and I want to be with that person more often than not.



Daleks_exterminate said:


> do you have to have feels to be sexual with someone?


No.



Daleks_exterminate said:


> do feels increase sexual pleasure if not?


Yes, most definitely.



Daleks_exterminate said:


> do you purposefully avoid or push someone away you are interested in if the timing or life circumstances are not right?


Yes, for sure. When I am not in casual mode, I date with a purpose...



Daleks_exterminate said:


> do you like dates/ nights out?


Yes...but not all the time.



Daleks_exterminate said:


> Do you prefer dating around or serious relationships?


Serious relationships. It's funny...I'm pretty successful at the former, but I can't seem to sustain it at all. It doesn't suit me.



Daleks_exterminate said:


> could you date someone from a higher class or higher class upbringing than you? What about lower?


Yes, as long as we have the same goals, values, and bring somewhat equal value to the relationship. I don't want to be beholden to daddy for my income/livelihood and I don't want to be your daddy either.



Daleks_exterminate said:


> what has to happen for you to feel or get serious about someone?


See above.



Daleks_exterminate said:


> does someone have to prove themselves or earn your trust first?
> 
> do you hold back initially? Why so? When do you let loose?


No. I'm myself. I'm also stupid and give people the benefit of the doubt until proven wrong. It's quicker that way...



Daleks_exterminate said:


> are you more aggressive or reserved when you're first interested in someone?


Aggressive. I like to pursue when I'm interested.



Daleks_exterminate said:


> what do you value most in a relationship?


Acceptance.



Daleks_exterminate said:


> do you have to share interests or beliefs?


Somewhat. Respecting each other is better.



Daleks_exterminate said:


> do you get jealous, competitive or back off if others are interested in the same person you are?


No. I put myself out there. If she likes me, then great. If not, then I'm moving on. We're obviously not a match if I have to "compete."



Daleks_exterminate said:


> could you handle long distance? Why or why not?


No. I suck at it. I need physical touch/interaction.



Daleks_exterminate said:


> if you have a type you're usually attracted to, but none of the relationships have worked would you change your type?


What? No, if the relationships are not working, then I'm being stupid and obviously not understanding what I need in a relationship. My type is my type. No changing that.



Daleks_exterminate said:


> finally, what attracts you to someone?


I truly can't answer this. Many things. It's holistic. and it could be a different combination of things depending on the person.


----------



## herinb

What does it feel like doing the helicopter?


----------



## herinb

How do you show a woman or a man you are into them? 

Do you find yourself trying to impress people you are lusting after and, if yah do, how? 

Gracias, amigos hombres!


----------



## wiarumas

FranOL said:


> What would you say is you mechanism of defense? Isolation, denial, ......


I'm not sure. Probably some form of denial or repression. I don't worry about things I don't have any control over like the past for example.


----------



## wiarumas

avidity said:


> Same intellectual interests and "gets you" in every way or different interests and challenges you (but softly)? Basically, would you rather date your psychospiritual twin or someone who is more of a mystery, a question mark? Assuming you are physically attracted to both.


Different interests and challenges me. I find that diversity makes me more well rounded.


----------



## wiarumas

Hotaru said:


> Ever tried to doodle a pattern while urinating?


Yes. Often in snow.


----------



## Wellsy

herinb said:


> What does it feel like doing the helicopter?


Try swinging something that has it's weight focused at the end, it probably won't be as heavy but that force plus it being attached.


herinb said:


> How do you show a woman or a man you are into them?
> 
> Do you find yourself trying to impress people you are lusting after and, if yah do, how?
> 
> Gracias, amigos hombres!


I suppose if I was feeling inspired some words or action that expresses how I feel.
Eh I think I feel a slight pull of wanting to be liked but I can be too lazy to try and impress someone, especially since I don't want to be performing like that all the time. They got to be able to like boring me too.


----------



## Golden Rose

wiarumas said:


> Yes. Often in snow.


I love the idea of peeing in snow, keep on drawing pretty things.


----------



## wiarumas

emberfly said:


> Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Even for a moment?


I have never questioned my attraction to women. I've been infatuated with them ever since I was a little boy.

But when discovering what I want sexually in the vast world of sex, I did wonder if there was any part of me that was attracted to men to any extent. However, there just isn't any sexual attraction there. 

Sex is a huge range of activities and pleasures. I've probably considered it all and only interested in a small portion.


----------



## wiarumas

Kyandigaru said:


> what determines when you men decide to financially spoil your woman? Do you wait for her to point something out or..., do you surprise her with gifts?


I usually don't. Finances are too dear to me to be irresponsible. 

I like to surprise on rare occasions, but it's usually more sentimental than materialistic or things that are economically out of whack in my opinion.


----------



## wiarumas

ai.tran.75 said:


> How important is it for you to be successful ?
> 
> *Very. Because success is relative and I'm the one determining if I was successful in meeting the goals I've set for myself. With that said, I would rather readjust my life goals than be upset with where I'm at in the world. . *
> 
> What does masculinity means to you ? What about feminine ?
> 
> *they are trivial categories that I don't waste time wondering about. In a nutshell, it's related to gender. Let others endlessly argue the details and what that means. *
> 
> Are you more attracted to long hair or short hair?
> 
> *depends on the individual. Though, I don't like either extreme. *
> 
> How would you describe your tone of voice
> 
> *I've been told I have a great voice. It's deep and bassy with a certain soft upper pitch. It's assertive, confident, and loud.*
> 
> Would u rather be a worried genius or joyful simpleton
> 
> *worried genius. Worry is fleeting. Being a simpleton is permanent. *
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


In quote


----------



## wiarumas

In quote



mony said:


> What do you wish women could understand about men?
> 
> *nothing. *
> 
> What do you wish women could keep doing for you and never stop?
> 
> *nothing. *
> 
> Do you think it's a nice and complimenting gesture for a woman to send you flowers? Or does this seem like a threat to your masculine persona?
> 
> *I wouldn't mind. I'm secure enough it wouldn't threaten me.*
> 
> How do you want someone to apologize to you?
> 
> *directly and quickly. No need to be long winded and emotional. The act of apologizing is more sufficient than any number of words. *


----------



## daleks_exterminate

When did you decide that you were a man?

(I'm sorry.... I can't stop trolling this fourm)


----------



## wiarumas

*in quote*



Daleks_exterminate said:


> At what point do you go from having a casual interest in someone to liking them in a more focused way?
> 
> *when elements of our relationship or who they are as a person are worth focusing on. Casual relationships are for people who are only casually interesting to me. *
> 
> do you have to have feels to be sexual with someone?
> 
> *no. *
> 
> do feels increase sexual pleasure if not?
> 
> *no. It doesn't increase sexual pleasure. However, it can give the sex a more emotional and passionate purpose. *
> 
> do you purposefully avoid or push someone away you are interested in if the timing or life circumstances are not right?
> 
> *yes. If it isn't going to work, it's not going to work. No point in pretending it will. *
> 
> do you like dates/ nights out?
> 
> *of course. *
> 
> Do you prefer dating around or serious relationships?
> 
> *I like dating around until I find someone I can be serious with. No preference otherwise. *
> 
> could you date someone from a higher class or higher class upbringing than you? What about lower?
> 
> *yes and yes. Class doesn't mean anything to me. As long as the negatives from the upbringing are at a minimum.*
> 
> what has to happen for you to feel or get serious about someone?
> 
> *a potential future. *
> 
> does someone have to prove themselves or earn your trust first?
> 
> *somewhat. I don't trust nor distrust the person at first. In time I'll get an idea of whether I should or not. *
> 
> do you hold back initially? Why so? When do you let loose?
> 
> *not really *
> 
> are you more aggressive or reserved when you're first interested in someone?
> 
> *I'm reserved until I have an opportunity to be aggressive. *
> 
> what do you value most in a relationship?
> 
> *compatibility *
> 
> do you have to share interests or beliefs?
> 
> *neither*
> 
> do you get jealous, competitive or back off if others are interested in the same person you are?
> 
> *none of the above. I worry about me and what I have to do. *
> 
> could you handle long distance? Why or why not?
> 
> *only if its temporary. *
> 
> if you have a type you're usually attracted to, but none of the relationships have worked would you change your type?
> 
> *I wouldn't limit potential mates by type. *
> 
> finally, what attracts you to someone?
> 
> *looks initially. Followed by brains and personality. *


----------



## wiarumas

In quote 


aeralin said:


> Why do guys wear beards? Do they think they are sexier with them? I don't have a personal preference but I really hate having beard burn and itching wherever it is and being unable to fall asleep.
> 
> *I believe there is a sociological term for people choosing unpopular looks in order to be attractive simply by being different. As more and more people flock to the different look and the standards change, the pendulum swings back the other direction. Sneeches on beaches covers this fairly well. *
> 
> Do you ever pee while taking a shit? As a girl I do this all the time, however since the majority of you stand to piss, I am just wondering if you like stand to piss than sit down and take your shit? How often?
> 
> *100% of the time. It would be a waste of time to stand then sit when you could do both at the same time. *


----------



## wiarumas

In quote



ai.tran.75 said:


> Do you guys have more male or female friends ?
> 
> *males. i have no female friends other than by association of my SO. *
> 
> Do you find it easier or more difficult to communicate with the opposite sex?
> 
> *same. *
> 
> Do you talk differently towards women ?
> 
> *probably. I think I put more effort into being slightly more charming to them. *
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## wiarumas

iHeartCats said:


> Are you married and if you are would you ever cheat on your wife, please answer honestly or don't answer at all


Yes. No.


----------



## wiarumas

intp_gurl said:


> 1. Is there a way to know if a man likes, face, boobs, or body ( legs, butt, etc) the most without asking him.
> 
> *no. If curious, ask. *
> 
> 2. do you feel the need to have more than one woman at a time. Why
> 
> *no. Because my needs are controllable. *


In quote.


----------



## wiarumas

intp_gurl said:


> 1. What do you, men in general want most from a relationship, the physical part or emotional part. If you could only have one, for the rest of your existence.
> 
> I find personally, men prefer the physical at all costs. Sometimes being physical to the detriment of the emotional. Trying to stay emotionally distant to avoid heartbreak.


Ideally both, but if I had to forego one. 

I could live happily without love. 

I don't think I couldn't handle never having sex again. 

So, physical.


----------



## wiarumas

mony said:


> What are the best gifts for men? Worst gifts?


Don't buy gifts based on gender. Buy based on individual and their own personal needs.


----------



## wiarumas

Con fused said:


> Struggling in a relationship with an intp. Curious since your an N type, do you value your wife's istj qualities? Do you find her boring?


She can be boring at times, but I do value her and what she brings to the table. Her being very intelligent helps. I think STJs get typed as these simpletons that follow traditions and its not always so. I tend to poke fun and laugh at her ISTJness. Mostly because we came to terms over our differences and celebrate them rather than hating each other over our differences. You have to recognize them and find the value in them.


----------



## wiarumas

Daleks_exterminate said:


> How big is your penis?
> 
> (...sorry I had to. Lol)


Long enough that I can hit a woman's cervix in some positions, but short enough that it's not always a problem. 

Wide enough that I can give vaginal orgasms to a woman after 2 babies greater than 8 pounds, but thin enough that anal is not a dreadful experience.


----------



## wiarumas

Squirrel said:


> @wiarumas
> What is with the trend with guys shaving their heads and growing beards?


I think I answered another question recently that I meant to reply to this question because it's asking about the current trend rather than beards in general:

I believe there is a sociological term for people choosing unpopular looks in order to be attractive simply by being different. As more and more people flock to the different look and the standards change, the pendulum swings back the other direction. Sneeches on beaches covers this fairly well.


----------



## wiarumas

herinb said:


> What does it feel like doing the helicopter?


It feels like a boneless body part flapping about.


----------



## wiarumas

herinb said:


> How do you show a woman or a man you are into them?
> 
> Do you find yourself trying to impress people you are lusting after and, if yah do, how?
> 
> Gracias, amigos hombres!


I let them know by telling them why I am into them. If I like their eyes, their hair, their humor, I tell them. And I do find myself at the same time trying to impress them in a humble, modest way. I try to not overdo it.


----------



## Kyandigaru

wiarumas said:


> I usually don't. Finances are too dear to me to be irresponsible.
> 
> I like to surprise on rare occasions, but it's usually more sentimental than materialistic or things that are economically out of whack in my opinion.


I ask because i see a lot of men buy gifts for one of their girlfriends and then dumped a previous girl because she was always asking for something at the mall. So i guess its save to say, as a woman, its best to NOT ask and rather allow a man to DO.


----------



## wiarumas

Daleks_exterminate said:


> When did you decide that you were a man?
> 
> (I'm sorry.... I can't stop trolling this fourm)


It's not a decision I am responsible for. 

I'm an adult human male, so by biological and language definition, I am a man. Even in social context, I have not seen any evidence that has put doubt to the fact that I am in any way something other than an adult human male.


----------



## wiarumas

Kyandigaru said:


> I ask because i see a lot of men buy gifts for one of their girlfriends and then dumped a previous girl because she was always asking for something at the mall. So i guess its save to say, as a woman, its best to NOT ask and rather allow a man to DO.


Yeah, that's reasonable. 

I personally like when a girl wants me as a person, not a lifestyle or what I can buy for her. 

The more she pressures me into buying things, the more I feel like I'm being used. 

The less pressure, the more likely I am to buy things for her.


----------



## WamphyriThrall

What sort of exercises would you say someone with an ectomorph male body type should do if they wish to gain weight but keep their lean/thin build? I've been doing calisthenics for a while, with little gain, so think maybe more weight training combined with a change in diet might be the key. Others have warned against too much cardio, since a fast metabolism alone works against gaining, and cardio would only make it that much more difficult. 

Not sure if this is the right thread for this...


----------



## wiarumas

WamphyriThrall said:


> What sort of exercises would you say someone with an ectomorph male body type should do if they wish to gain weight but keep their lean/thin build? I've been doing calisthenics for a while, with little gain, so think maybe more weight training combined with a change in diet might be the key. Others have warned against too much cardio, since a fast metabolism alone works against gaining, and cardio would only make it that much more difficult.
> 
> Not sure if this is the right thread for this...


From my experience, cardio is best for cutting fat and increasing definition, not so much gaining muscle mass. 

I would go 100% weight training, high weight and low reps with perfect form. You want to feel the muscle group for that day rip and burn. Follow up with a lean but high protein diet to build muscle over those muscle tears. 

I would continue this for 6-8 weeks and then take a month break and resume cardio to offset any unwanted fat gains and shock muscles from developing adaptation.


----------



## cinnabun

What's your favourite body part of your preferred sex?

What turns you on?

What turns you off?

Have you ever been in love?


----------



## ai.tran.75

Are you more attracted to curves or legs 

Lips or eyes

Would a woman approaching you be a turn on or turn off 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## knife

1. Curves. Especially when the breasts and ass-curve complement each other when seen from the side. A bit of meat on dem thighs is nice too...

2. Eyes, big time. To the point where a certain someone who flutters her cute brown eyes will INSTANTLY turn me on. (And she knows it too  :happy: )

Big lips, I don't much care for. Angelina Jolie's eyes turn me on but her lips kinda turn me off a bit too...

3. Theoretically, a turn-on. But the few times it's ever actually happened I've been so shocked I didn't notice...


----------



## FePa

Does it take too much "work" to have sex sometimes and you go for a self hand job for laziness ?


----------



## drmiller100

FePa said:


> Does it take too much "work" to have sex sometimes and you go for a self hand job for laziness ?


Few ladies have as high a sex drive as I. 

and fapping is also variety.


----------



## FePa

Do men still say "I love you" as a way to get into our pants ?


(not that actually I would have sex with them because of the love you anyway... )


----------



## ENTrePreneur

FePa said:


> Do men still say "I love you" as a way to get into our pants ?
> 
> 
> (not that actually I would have sex with them because of the love you anyway... )


Nope.

I don't love people anyways. :kitteh:


----------



## FePa

ENTrePreneur said:


> Nope.
> 
> I don't love people anyways. :kitteh:


I'm feeling a bit stalked
:tongue:


----------



## ENTrePreneur

FePa said:


> I'm feeling a bit stalked
> :tongue:


What can I say? Great minds (Nes) think alike. :kitteh:


----------



## FePa

ENTrePreneur said:


> What can I say? Great minds (Nes) think alike. :kitteh:


and apparently follow each other all around

Hei, I need to take a shower... wanna join me ?
:wink:


----------



## ENTrePreneur

FePa said:


> and apparently follow each other all around


Hey! I didn't expect you to always pick the same threads as me! XD



> Hei, I need to take a shower... wanna join me ?
> :wink:


Depends on


----------



## FePa

ENTrePreneur said:


> Depends on


:shocked:
What does it depend on ?!?!



a man, a woman, warm water, soap, clothes off...

What's to depend !??!
:tongue:

oh don't worry, I won't wet your hair, if this is what is concerning you


----------



## ENTrePreneur

FePa said:


> :shocked:
> What does it depend on ?!?!
> 
> 
> 
> a man, a woman, warm water, soap, clothes off...
> 
> What's to depend !??!
> :tongue:
> 
> oh don't worry, I won't wet your hair, if this is what is concerning you


I love Ne. All I have to do is not finish a sentence and all of a sudden your brain goes WILD with possibilities! Isn't this fun? I think maybe I'll never finish another sentence while in discussion with another Ne. :kitteh: Well, this is the last time, I mean. :wink:


----------



## FePa

ENTrePreneur said:


> I love Ne. All I have to do is not finish a sentence and all of a sudden your brain goes WILD with possibilities! Isn't this fun? I think maybe I'll never finish another sentence while in discussion with another Ne. :kitteh: Well, this is the last time, I mean. :wink:


:wink:

Whatever you


----------



## ENTrePreneur

FePa said:


> :wink:
> 
> Whatever you


:laughing:

Hey, wanna go


----------



## FePa

ENTrePreneur said:


> :laughing:
> 
> Hey, wanna go


open a new thread, because we


----------



## ENTrePreneur

FePa said:


> open a new thread, because we


Ok, why don't you


----------



## Nightmaker81

Yo! Was wondering if I could participate in this thread? 

ENTJ, type 6w7(but I don't really take personality tests seriously or think they're valid). 22 year old male so I'm still a youngin, but I feel I went through a bit in terms of life. Previous Aerospace Engineer, currently Astrophysics, used to be Air Force ROTC and was trying to commission as a fighter pilot, been in therapy for 3 years and it was the best decision of my life, and I want to be an astronaut someday! 

Do I just answers as they come up?


----------



## ENTrePreneur

Nightmaker81 said:


> Yo! Was wondering if I could participate in this thread?
> 
> ENTJ, type 6w7(but I don't really take personality tests seriously or think they're valid). 22 year old male so I'm still a youngin, but I feel I went through a bit in terms of life. Previous Aerospace Engineer, currently Astrophysics, used to be Air Force ROTC and was trying to commission as a fighter pilot, been in therapy for 3 years and it was the best decision of my life, and I want to be an astronaut someday!


Ooh fancy!



> Do I just answers as they come up?


Yep. :wink:


----------



## FePa

Nightmaker81 said:


> Yo! Was wondering if I could participate in this thread?
> 
> ENTJ, type 6w7(but I don't really take personality tests seriously or think they're valid). 22 year old male so I'm still a youngin, but I feel I went through a bit in terms of life. Previous Aerospace Engineer, currently Astrophysics, used to be Air Force ROTC and was trying to commission as a fighter pilot, been in therapy for 3 years and it was the best decision of my life, and I want to be an astronaut someday!
> 
> Do I just answers as they come up?


Or feel free to dig some of the previous posts and answer again if you'd like


Ok, let's start with a fresh one for you...


Paid sex - did it happen to you and if so, what's the real difference - feelings ?
;-)


----------



## Nightmaker81

FePa said:


> Or feel free to dig some of the previous posts and answer again if you'd like
> 
> 
> Ok, let's start with a fresh one for you...
> 
> Have you ever slept with a prostitute ?
> ;-)


Naw, still a virgin. I'm a romantic deep down, and I always held off on sex, because I really did have an idealistic view of it. College I met a lot of great girls, but none never really clicked, until last spring. She and I are really great together, but she's back home, while I'm on campus so it made officially asking her out difficult, but I'm hoping we can seal the deal this coming fall!


----------



## Nightmaker81

_How important is it for you to be successful ? _

*Not at all. I don't really care about success, because everything is subjective in the end. I'd rather live a life that just feels fulfilling, and my dreams were something that were really special to me as a child so that's why I go for them. *

_What does masculinity means to you ? What about feminine ?_

*
Masculinity means to me that you can embrace yourself being a man, but still be understanding of the other sex and their circumstances. I don't really have a set list for it, but it's pretty much self acceptance for you are as a man, and the same for being feminine.
*
_Are you more attracted to long hair or short hair?
_
*No preference, but I always seemed to be more attracted to girls who also had longer hair.
*
_How would you describe your tone of voice _

*It's pretty deep*

_Would u rather be a worried genius or joyful simpleton _

*Definitely joyful simpleton. I'd rather be happy and feel I have a fulfilling life than being worried or trying to attain something I never might be able to.*


----------



## wiarumas

FePa said:


> Do men still say "I love you" as a way to get into our pants ?
> 
> 
> (not that actually I would have sex with them because of the love you anyway... )


Some might.

I would personally never say those words unless I meant it. Even then it would be hard for me to say.


----------



## wiarumas

Nightmaker81 said:


> Yo! Was wondering if I could participate in this thread?
> 
> ENTJ, type 6w7(but I don't really take personality tests seriously or think they're valid). 22 year old male so I'm still a youngin, but I feel I went through a bit in terms of life. Previous Aerospace Engineer, currently Astrophysics, used to be Air Force ROTC and was trying to commission as a fighter pilot, been in therapy for 3 years and it was the best decision of my life, and I want to be an astronaut someday!
> 
> Do I just answers as they come up?


Do as you wish. Answer as they come up, answer old ones. Whatever you find worthy of your time. Its healthy to have a variety of backgrounds and demographics to answer the questions.


----------



## wiarumas

FePa said:


> Or feel free to dig some of the previous posts and answer again if you'd like
> 
> 
> Ok, let's start with a fresh one for you...
> 
> 
> Paid sex - did it happen to you and if so, what's the real difference - feelings ?
> ;-)


I never paid for sex directly. Paid sex might be ultimately cheaper than courting a woman haha.

I view it as risky and less mutual.


----------



## wiarumas

Nightmaker81 said:


> So guys I'm in a predicament. I really want to get Fire Emblem Awakening and I haven't bought a video game in a while. It's 40 bucks but I'm really trying to save money for this year.
> 
> Should I change my diet and eat nothing but eggs, bread, rice and oatmeal for 3 weeks? I calculated it and I should save 40 bucks for my regular diet, and enough to get Fire Emblem. It's just that it's going to be very bland tasting for 3 weeks


I wouldn't jeopardize diet/health for a video game. I would brainstorm other ways to raise some money, cut expenses, or both.

Even if you could somehow make $20, you wouldn't have to cut the diet so drastically and then eat better for 3 weeks while also getting your video game.


----------



## FePa

wiarumas said:


> Don't have it. Circumcised at birth. No complaints.


Does circumcision outside religion practice also performed without anesthesia ?
is it does at birth ? or few weeks later ?
does it cut absolutely everything, or there is some skin movable when the penis is relaxed ?

I don't think I have ever had a circumcised man... or my memory sucks
:tongue:

speaking of sucking...
Boys, please share preferred oral sex techniques ?


----------



## ENTrePreneur

isingthebodyelectric said:


> I wouldn't want my sons circumcised even if their father is. They shouldn't do that to children who have no choice imo.


that's when it's easiest to have it done, though. i heard it sucks like hell later. but yeah, i guess i don't really care if my children are circumcised, but i bet they will want to have been circumcised later if they weren't originally.


FePa said:


> Does circumcision outside religion practice also performed without anesthesia ?


I thought the stuff they did even within it is within religion.



> is it does at birth ? or few weeks later ?


a week after i believe



> does it cut absolutely everything, or there is some skin movable when the penis is relaxed ?


the latter.



> i don't think I have ever had a circumcised man... or my memory sucks
> :tongue:


we're lots of fun - or at least i am - so you would have remembered it if you had, i think. at least - that is if all circumcised men are like me. :kitteh:


----------



## Austengirl753

Do you believe in soulmates? How did you know your wife was the right person for you?


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

ENTrePreneur said:


> that's when it's easiest to have it done, though. i heard it sucks like hell later. but yeah, i guess i don't really care if my children are circumcised, but i bet they will want to have been circumcised later if they weren't originally.
> 
> 
> I thought the stuff they did even within it is within religion.
> 
> 
> 
> a week after i believe
> 
> 
> 
> the latter.
> 
> 
> 
> we're lots of fun - or at least i am - so you would have remembered it if you had, i think. at least - that is if all circumcised men are like me. :kitteh:


Why would they want to be? What's the purpose?


----------



## ENTrePreneur

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Why would they want to be? What's the purpose?


I've heard it's annoying as hell to go to the bathroom and it serves no good purpose - and I think some men even get it taken off later in life because it's so annoying and it can cause problems. I don't even know why we have it, it serves no purpose.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

ENTrePreneur said:


> I've heard it's annoying as hell to go to the bathroom and it serves no good purpose - and I think some men even get it taken off later in life because it's so annoying and it can cause problems. I don't even know why we have it, it serves no purpose.


It doesn't have to have a purpose. It's a natural part of your body you're born with. I'm sure it's meant to protect the penis somehow also but I don't get why people say it's pointless. It's odd. I'm not saying I don't like circumcised ones though but foreskins are not pointless.


----------



## FePa

ENTrePreneur said:


> I've heard it's annoying as hell to go to the bathroom and it serves no good purpose - and I think some men even get it taken off later in life because it's so annoying and it can cause problems. I don't even know why we have it, it serves no purpose.


if the opening is large enough to have it all pulled backwards to clean and pee, the purpose of it it's protection as the gland is rather sensitive ...
Circumcised men had already many years of skin rubbing that makes it "rougher" and less sensitive, says the legend that they would last longer then... but I don't know


I cannot imagine a difference with a no-skin at all times or the drawn back totally when erect during intercourse... we can only noticed the circumcision when it's in resting position... isn't ?

(oh boy, I need a Si-trip right now...)


----------



## drmiller100

isingthebodyelectric said:


> I but foreskins are not pointless.


but they are on the end.


----------



## ENTrePreneur

isingthebodyelectric said:


> It doesn't have to have a purpose. It's a natural part of your body you're born with. I'm sure it's meant to protect the penis somehow also but I don't get why people say it's pointless. It's odd. I'm not saying I don't like circumcised ones though but foreskins are not pointless.


Out of curiosity, what point do they serve?

And have you ever tried to pee but there's this piece of skin that keeps getting in the way while you're trying to do so?


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

ENTrePreneur said:


> Out of curiosity, what point do they serve?
> 
> And have you ever tried to pee but there's this piece of skin that keeps getting in the way while you're trying to do so?


Protective cover over a penis surely? It's natural part on your body that should be enough to leave it alone. 

Somewhat can relate to that but I'm not going into detail lol.


----------



## FePa

ENTrePreneur said:


> Out of curiosity, what point do they serve?
> 
> And have you ever tried to pee but there's this piece of skin that keeps getting in the way while you're trying to do so?


pull it back, it's not that you need much space, it's a tiny little hole !

but I understand when the skin is excessive that it could be annoying... or when it doesn't retract when fully erect ...


----------



## ENTrePreneur

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Protective cover over a penis surely? It's natural part on your body that should be enough to leave it alone.


Touche.



> Somewhat can relate to that but I'm not going into detail lol.


Aww, why not? :kitteh:



FePa said:


> pull it back, it's not that you need much space, it's a tiny little hole !
> 
> but I understand when the skin is excessive that it could be annoying... or when it doesn't retract when fully erect ...


ew. that's frustrating i imagine


----------



## FePa

Ok, Mr Google took me to a page with descriptions of types of circumcisions !!


what about your guys frenulum?

is still there or was it also removed ?

Do you know it's a very sensitive part and very useful in oral ?


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

ENTrePreneur said:


> Touche.
> 
> 
> 
> Aww, why not? :kitteh:
> 
> 
> ew. that's frustrating i imagine


Certainly not the right place for it lol


----------



## ENTrePreneur

FePa said:


> Ok, Mr Google took me to a page with descriptions of types of circumcisions !!
> 
> 
> what about your guys frenulum?
> 
> is still there or was it also removed ?
> 
> Do you know it's a very sensitive part and very useful in oral ?


Still there.

Incredibly sensitive.
Feels beautiful to touch and play with.. >_>
And I would imagine it feels amazing during oral. :blushed:


----------



## ENTrePreneur

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Certainly not the right place for it lol



:laughing: Whatever you say. :wink:


----------



## wiarumas

FePa said:


> Does circumcision outside religion practice also performed without anesthesia ?
> is it does at birth ? or few weeks later ?
> does it cut absolutely everything, or there is some skin movable when the penis is relaxed ?
> 
> I don't think I have ever had a circumcised man... or my memory sucks
> :tongue:
> 
> speaking of sucking...
> Boys, please share preferred oral sex techniques ?


You can have it performed any time. You have the option to have it performed in the hospital before you are discharged after birth (which is typically 48-72 hours). From my understanding, they typically use glucose on a pacifier as an analgesic.

There is still skin, just no foreskin. It wrinkles under the head when flaccid and is more smooth when erect. 

As for preferred oral techniques... personally its not so much what you do, its what you shouldn't do. I don't like teeth, too much suction, or the same pace. Other than that, you can't really go wrong. Do whatever you want at first, and eventually just imitate sex with your mouth.


----------



## wiarumas

Austengirl753 said:


> Do you believe in soulmates? How did you know your wife was the right person for you?


No. I believe in varying degrees of compatibility. My wife and I were highly compatible. She has everything I wanted in a woman, and vice versa, therefore it worked out. Its not a magical or a mysterious force. Its more about knowing what you want/deserve, not settling for less, and realizing it when you find it.


----------



## wiarumas

FePa said:


> Ok, Mr Google took me to a page with descriptions of types of circumcisions !!
> 
> 
> what about your guys frenulum?
> 
> is still there or was it also removed ?
> 
> Do you know it's a very sensitive part and very useful in oral ?


Still there.

Very aware that its sensitive.


----------



## aendern

FePa said:


> Ok, Mr Google took me to a page with descriptions of types of circumcisions !!
> 
> 
> what about your guys frenulum?
> 
> is still there or was it also removed ?
> 
> Do you know it's a very sensitive part and very useful in oral ?


The frenulum is the best part! I can have frenulum orgasms by just stimulating that and nothing else. And they are like 10x more powerful than the standard orgasm you think of for men. The foreskin it is attached to is heavenly as well.



ENTrePreneur said:


> Out of curiosity, what point do they serve?


Added sensitivity, protection of the glans (so it doesn't dry out). Keeps glans hydrated/moisturized. Acts as a natural lubricant of sorts. Think of like the eyelid to your eye -- without it, the eye would be exposed to the air at all times and would naturally dry out and be less sensitive. For the glans, it would be exposed to fabric at most times and would wear away due to the friction and keratinization. If you want to see visual differences (NSFW but educational), this link is a really good one.




> And have you ever tried to pee but there's this piece of skin that keeps getting in the way while you're trying to do so?


No.



ENTrePreneur said:


> I've heard it's annoying as hell to go to the bathroom and it serves no good purpose - and I think some men even get it taken off later in life because it's so annoying and it can cause problems. I don't even know why we have it, it serves no purpose.


answered above^



Austengirl753 said:


> Do you believe in soulmates? How did you know your wife was the right person for you?


No. She is right for me if we love each other and enjoy each other's company and our relationship is mutually beneficial.



FePa said:


> Does circumcision outside religion practice also performed without anesthesia ?
> is it does at birth ? or few weeks later ?
> does it cut absolutely everything, or there is some skin movable when the penis is relaxed ?


It really depends. Usually some is left (because it is essential), but there are cases of botched circumcisions in which "too much" is removed. You can google that if you like. It's kind of a horrible thing :/


----------



## FePa

emberfly said:


> The frenulum is the best part! I can have frenulum orgasms by just stimulating that and nothing else. And they are like 10x more powerful than the standard orgasm you think of for men. The foreskin it is attached to is heavenly as well.


Oh please elaborate !




> Added sensitivity, protection of the glans (so it doesn't dry out). Keeps glans hydrated/moisturized. Acts as a natural lubricant of sorts. Think of like the eyelid to your eye -- without it, the eye would be exposed to the air at all times and would naturally dry out and be less sensitive. For the glans, it would be exposed to fabric at most times and would wear away due to the friction and keratinization. If you want to see visual differences (NSFW but educational), this link is a really good one.


hehehe there was a warning "are you an adult who wants to see naked men and their penises ?"

HELL YEAH !!
:happy:

I don't get aroused by this, maybe perhaps I'm not the owner of a visual-male-brain, neither cognitive function Se, but I love to see all the shapes, differences and so on...
wish I had a life version right now to study a bit further ... not attached to ME, if it was not clear... hehehe



> It really depends. Usually some is left (because it is essential), but there are cases of botched circumcisions in which "too much" is removed. You can google that if you like. It's kind of a horrible thing :/


yes, I saw that, it's quite strange and also the removal of the frenulum must be horrible and that's why I asked...


----------



## Sara Torailles

FePa said:


> hehehe there was a warning "are you an adult who wants to see naked men and their penises ?"
> 
> HELL YEAH !!
> :happy:


R.I.P. FePa's inbox.


----------



## petite libellule

Need directions:


* *




I'm feeling dubious about this job but I'm happy for it too. The hours are heavy but I get my own office to utilize for a few hours a day for my other job. It's an hour away in bad traffic but if I leave super early, it's 15 min, resulting in extra time before I start in addiction to the few hours mid day. It has a gym 2 doors down but it's a city gym (finger print to go in, just equipment and no shower). It's meant for folks who live close (in the city it's normal, I know it sounds weird). Anyways, despite the job worries and being worried over nonsense, I want to focus on my goals but often struggle with the tiny steps and direction. 

The big idea is I have 1-2 years tops, then I need to move out of state. No choice, long story. If I could do it tomorrow I would. But it would be hasty and I'm doing my best to not worry and focus on getting there. I figure 6 months living expenses saved. Increase the passive writing income to ideally 3-700$ (I know huge margin but it's a crap shoot how well I'll do. I doubt my writing all the time). 

The I'm at now is hourly (low hourly) but 65$ per hour for appointments in addition. I make about 50-200$ mo. selling words. I need to buckle down and budget but really, I don't spend my money on anything but grilled cheese sandwiches. Lol! My family helps me with most bills so I can obtain this goal. They all realize the necessity now that it's a reality (my state being terrible). 

My doubt and worry is, I'm just now getting a handle and acclimating to the job environment. I'm thinking I should give it till January and reevaluate. But I worry. I have not much income in hopes the unique job placement now will foster opportunity for me to do more writing. Though I'm typically drained and struggle to focus (though much of this is emotion trying to keep my head up and not be scared etc). What if I'm wasting my time? Should I go another direction with different types of stressors but making more (not much with writing). ? 

And then I start to think of super long term goals and ideas I have. I want to specialize in my career with children with disabilities (extra certificates I need) and finish my bachelors. Which won't be hard. But I think I'll be working forever and so I think somatic psychology would be awesome because it blends all my experience, edu. and natural strengths in how I think and the idea is while I would be old when it's all done, I could just write and make more money and implement theories in practice and write about it and I already have a lot of theories on things and it gets me excited and happy just thinking about it. 

And the rule of thumb is .. If the thought of something makes you smile (a smile without your permission. One that just shows up on your face) then that's not something you should ignore. Like a calling. But then my brain goes haywire worrying about how to make that happen and my natural tendency is to trouble shoot and think of all the "what if's" and I destroy the entire dream. 

and then I get mad at myself that I get carried away with thoughts about future when I should be focusing on the job thing now and I don't know what to do I freak out ... :sad: And I'm not getting anywhere and the sun is going to fall in two years and we're all gonna die!!!!  

oh yeah. I would probably benefit using the gym to reduce anxiety but can't figure out how to fit it in my schedule.


----------



## wiarumas

ningsta kitty said:


> Need directions:
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'm feeling dubious about this job but I'm happy for it too. The hours are heavy but I get my own office to utilize for a few hours a day for my other job. It's an hour away in bad traffic but if I leave super early, it's 15 min, resulting in extra time before I start in addiction to the few hours mid day. It has a gym 2 doors down but it's a city gym (finger print to go in, just equipment and no shower). It's meant for folks who live close (in the city it's normal, I know it sounds weird). Anyways, despite the job worries and being worried over nonsense, I want to focus on my goals but often struggle with the tiny steps and direction.
> 
> The big idea is I have 1-2 years tops, then I need to move out of state. No choice, long story. If I could do it tomorrow I would. But it would be hasty and I'm doing my best to not worry and focus on getting there. I figure 6 months living expenses saved. Increase the passive writing income to ideally 3-700$ (I know huge margin but it's a crap shoot how well I'll do. I doubt my writing all the time).
> 
> The I'm at now is hourly (low hourly) but 65$ per hour for appointments in addition. I make about 50-200$ mo. selling words. I need to buckle down and budget but really, I don't spend my money on anything but grilled cheese sandwiches. Lol! My family helps me with most bills so I can obtain this goal. They all realize the necessity now that it's a reality (my state being terrible).
> 
> My doubt and worry is, I'm just now getting a handle and acclimating to the job environment. I'm thinking I should give it till January and reevaluate. But I worry. I have not much income in hopes the unique job placement now will foster opportunity for me to do more writing. Though I'm typically drained and struggle to focus (though much of this is emotion trying to keep my head up and not be scared etc). What if I'm wasting my time? Should I go another direction with different types of stressors but making more (not much with writing). ?
> 
> And then I start to think of super long term goals and ideas I have. I want to specialize in my career with children with disabilities (extra certificates I need) and finish my bachelors. Which won't be hard. But I think I'll be working forever and so I think somatic psychology would be awesome because it blends all my experience, edu. and natural strengths in how I think and the idea is while I would be old when it's all done, I could just write and make more money and implement theories in practice and write about it and I already have a lot of theories on things and it gets me excited and happy just thinking about it.
> 
> And the rule of thumb is .. If the thought of something makes you smile (a smile without your permission. One that just shows up on your face) then that's not something you should ignore. Like a calling. But then my brain goes haywire worrying about how to make that happen and my natural tendency is to trouble shoot and think of all the "what if's" and I destroy the entire dream.
> 
> and then I get mad at myself that I get carried away with thoughts about future when I should be focusing on the job thing now and I don't know what to do I freak out ... :sad: And I'm not getting anywhere and the sun is going to fall in two years and we're all gonna die!!!! 
> 
> oh yeah. I would probably benefit using the gym to reduce anxiety but can't figure out how to fit it in my schedule.


Do something that either A. makes you happy or B. makes you money. Never settle for neither, preferably both. Also, factor in the future as well. Doing something that will lead to a happier job, or a more lucrative career down the road.

Long term goals will never happen if you don't work towards them. *Decide *what you want to do - don't just daydream about it and tear the thought into a hundred different directions. Write it out, make a timeline. Make it coherent. Then take the appropriate steps to make it become reality. If your thoughts and desires are not manageable, you'll never control your direction in life.


----------



## petite libellule

wiarumas said:


> Do something that either A. makes you happy or B. makes you money. Never settle for neither, preferably both. Also, factor in the future as well. Doing something that will lead to a happier job, or a more lucrative career down the road.
> 
> Long term goals will never happen if you don't work towards them. *Decide *what you want to do - don't just daydream about it and tear the thought into a hundred different directions. Write it out, make a timeline. Make it coherent. Then take the appropriate steps to make it become reality. If your thoughts and desires are not manageable, you'll never control your direction in life.


I get all that. But what do I do? Stay at a job that makes less but has opportunity to write more, possibly making more than another job that just makes more? I need to support myself, save, move, make money enough so in the future I can also peck away at the larger goal:additional school .. And live happily ever after. So what do I do now to get there ? I see all the pro's and con's on both sides and I get overwhelmed  it gets me so confused, doubtful and discouraged.


----------



## wiarumas

ningsta kitty said:


> I get all that. But what do I do? Stay at a job that makes less but has opportunity to write more, possibly making more than another job that just makes more? I need to support myself, save, move, make money enough so in the future I can also peck away at the larger goal:additional school .. And live happily ever after. So what do I do now to get there ? I see all the pro's and con's on both sides and I get overwhelmed  it gets me so confused, doubtful and discouraged.


Opportunity to write more. Is that part of your long term goals? Does it help you achieve what you want to do someday? If it doesn't, I wouldn't consider it relevant. I view long term happiness greater than short term happiness and wouldn't mind sacrificing some well being for the long term personally. 

It doesn't sound like it pays more. It sounds inconsistent. Don't think of it on an hourly basis but a monthly or annual basis. You should have an idea how much it makes on average and compare that to the monthly income of job 2. 

What I see is that you ultimately want additional school which requires money. So I would choose the higher paying job with consistent money so that you can get to where you want to be in life more quickly so you don't have to fret over issues like this.


----------



## daleks_exterminate

Dear man,

it's my birthday. I've had a little too much to drink & I've watched the Philadelphia story. I like it's humor, but I want to spend the rest of my life with someone else so will you marry me? (Also. Tax breaks  )
qualifiers:
-must like old movies
-must be fun, witty, romantic, charming and argumentitive
-playful is a must as well

so, any takers?


----------



## petite libellule

wiarumas said:


> Opportunity to write more. Is that part of your long term goals? Does it help you achieve what you want to do someday? If it doesn't, I wouldn't consider it relevant. I view long term happiness greater than short term happiness and wouldn't mind sacrificing some well being for the long term personally.
> 
> It doesn't sound like it pays more. It sounds inconsistent. Don't think of it on an hourly basis but a monthly or annual basis. You should have an idea how much it makes on average and compare that to the monthly income of job 2.
> 
> What I see is that you ultimately want additional school which requires money. So I would choose the higher paying job with consistent money so that you can get to where you want to be in life more quickly so you don't have to fret over issues like this.



* *





I kinda have to make a choice that can't support school if I go for high pay LMT somewhere, not to mention getting physically burnt out. At another place I can make let's say 40-50 an hour. At the place I'm at , 65 an hour (when I have an appointment) and then an hourly wage for office work in between appointments. Less appointments meaning less money, less burning out my body on the job, and space for writing time which means potential to increase that amount I get from it. 

I could potentially make more to support cost of living, spec rec. and other quality of life things for my son like his speech therapy, saving, relocate/moving costs(house is being sold) if I pursue writing more aggressively. The idea is, if ever I want to go to school I would have to increase my income more than I could realistically with my job as an MT, and all the plates spinning. I can't live in this state for my purposes and have 1-2 years. I absolutely must live on my own. So do I keep the track I'm on, or drop the idea. I also have a medical assisting degree so could update my license and just work at a hospital making 25-30(?) an hour which would be better security. But is it enough to do everything ? While cost of living ideally will be more reasonable elsewhere, until then I need to save 6 months living expenses at least. I think(?). 

No longer in the same predicament I have more room to maneuver. Before I hadn't any time being a full time caregiver and wasn't able to pursue anything seriously. Now I just want to get all the pieces and figure it out now that I have the freedom to move let alone breathe. I'm also nervous and scared and so my thoughts are stumped. I'm always putting out these little worry fires, and distract myself when I feel anxious because I haven't a solution and I'm overwhelmed. 

Priorities: 
my son: clothes, speech, spec rec. 
saving/rent:

essentially the number = unable to do it all but what do I do in what order so the end result I want is there.


 lolol! There. I finally gave you something to crush with your mental vise. :tongue:


----------



## wiarumas

ningsta kitty said:


> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I kinda have to make a choice that can't support school if I go for high pay LMT somewhere, not to mention getting physically burnt out. At another place I can make let's say 40-50 an hour. At the place I'm at , 65 an hour (when I have an appointment) and then an hourly wage for office work in between appointments. Less appointments meaning less money, less burning out my body on the job, and space for writing time which means potential to increase that amount I get from it.
> 
> I could potentially make more to support cost of living, spec rec. and other quality of life things for my son like his speech therapy, saving, relocate/moving costs(house is being sold) if I pursue writing more aggressively. The idea is, if ever I want to go to school I would have to increase my income more than I could realistically with my job as an MT, and all the plates spinning. I can't live in this state for my purposes and have 1-2 years. I absolutely must live on my own. So do I keep the track I'm on, or drop the idea. I also have a medical assisting degree so could update my license and just work at a hospital making 25-30(?) an hour which would be better security. But is it enough to do everything ? While cost of living ideally will be more reasonable elsewhere, until then I need to save 6 months living expenses at least. I think(?).
> 
> No longer in the same predicament I have more room to maneuver. Before I hadn't any time being a full time caregiver and wasn't able to pursue anything seriously. Now I just want to get all the pieces and figure it out now that I have the freedom to move let alone breathe. I'm also nervous and scared and so my thoughts are stumped. I'm always putting out these little worry fires, and distract myself when I feel anxious because I haven't a solution and I'm overwhelmed.
> 
> Priorities:
> my son: clothes, speech, spec rec.
> saving/rent:
> 
> essentially the number = unable to do it all but what do I do in what order so the end result I want is there.
> 
> 
>  lolol! There. I finally gave you something to crush with your mental vise. :tongue:


I would stop working with hypothetical jobs, apply to jobs/hospitals out of state, get offers if any, check the cost of living in that area, and then make a decision. 

What is certain is that you are not satisfied with your current situation, so I would work towards (any) change. You can always keep looking/adjusting.


----------



## petite libellule

Edit: Answered my questions in my head


----------



## sraddatz

Daleks_exterminate said:


> Dear man,
> 
> it's my birthday. I've had a little too much to drink & I've watched the Philadelphia story. I like it's humor, but I want to spend the rest of my life with someone else so will you marry me? (Also. Tax breaks  )
> qualifiers:
> -must like old movies
> -must be fun, witty, romantic, charming and argumentitive
> -playful is a must as well
> 
> so, any takers?


Oh, honey! Don't you know all the good ones are already taken. You know, like me.


----------



## SpinniBell

wiarumas said:


> I'm an ENTJ type 3 male.
> 
> Ive done it all from being in a band, fraternity, marriage, parenting, and everything in between. I have genius level IQ, paint, cook, write poetry, short stories, novels, shoot guns, work on cars, etc.
> 
> Want to ask a guy anything - sex, relationships, personal questions, guy mentality, bro code - go ahead.


Do most men typically like women with long hair?


----------



## sraddatz

SpinniBell said:


> Do most men typically like women with long hair?


Normally I'd say yes. I think a girl can be cute with short hair. I think it's easier for her to be SEXY with long hair.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Do women have to be good looking in order for a ons or fling to happen?


----------



## JaySH

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Do women have to be good looking in order for a ons or fling to happen?


No. Especially if alcohol is involved. But you are so, probably irrelevant.


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

JaySH said:


> No. Especially if alcohol is involved. But you are so, probably irrelevant.


Lol. No. Most guys will say yes to most girls who wanna do stuff? Gotta use that Dutch courage then I guess.


----------



## JaySH

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Lol. No. Most guys will say yes to most girls who wanna do stuff? Gotta use that Dutch courage then I guess.


Contrary to prior belief, striking up conversation goes a long way. It's more than just looks that matter. You and I have spoken...if you're not being approached/hit on it's not because of your looks...I absolutely assure you. It's a vibe you're giving off making you seem unapproachable. You may not see it, but, you're rather attractive.

Back to bed for me. It's tooooooooo early.


----------



## JaySH

SpinniBell said:


> Do most men typically like women with long hair?


Yes. But, it depends on the woman. We (men) don't have conversations on women's hair styles but, long hair works better for some women and short for others. I love long hair...but some women definitely look sexier with short hair....and vice versa.


----------



## FePa

JaySH said:


> Contrary to prior belief, striking up conversation goes a long way. It's more than just looks that matter. You and I have spoken...if you're not being approached/hit on it's not because of your looks...I absolutely assure you. It's a vibe you're giving off making you seem unapproachable. You may not see it, but, you're rather attractive.
> 
> Back to bed for me. It's tooooooooo early.


I see this on me soooo much !
I don't think I'm unattractive, but I still almost never get hit on by strangers. 
This caused some self esteem issues in my youth. .. that I still drag around sometimes, I must admit. 
But just very recently I discovered that is this "fuck off" vibe that I send!

It's because I so quickly make the assessment of the people around me and automatically block any access to those stamped "not-valid"

My problem is that my standard is so high, that is hard to find a valid one and when I do, he's an introvert that doesn't approach me
:-(((


----------



## sraddatz

I grow my beard in the winter. I keep it trimmed short.

I grow it because even though I have an office job, when I have to work outside, it keeps my face warm.


----------



## Kyandigaru

What is the estimate time a man will allow his woman to move in? 6mos of dating or a year longer?


----------



## knife

Depends on the man I think. And the strength of attraction.

I want the kind of fire were we move in together in a matter of months. Le sigh.


Kitty Sith Lord


----------



## Kyandigaru

hammersklavier said:


> Depends on the man I think. And the strength of attraction.
> 
> I want the kind of fire were we move in together in a matter of months. Le sigh.
> 
> 
> Kitty Sith Lord


that fire...the chemistry all that shit sounds so...general.


----------



## WamphyriThrall

What are some things men can't stand about other men? Google has yielded few results, and I wouldn't count myself, since I don't see myself as one (aside from biologically). Thanks!


----------



## OberonHuxley

WamphyriThrall said:


> What are some things men can't stand about other men? Google has yielded few results, and I wouldn't count myself, since I don't see myself as one (aside from biologically). Thanks!


Apathy...the look of apathy in another man's face reflects all of vices and could remind us of the potential hole in humanities heart as a collective species.

And most men are apathetic looking.


----------



## sraddatz

Kyandigaru said:


> What is the estimate time a man will allow his woman to move in? 6mos of dating or a year longer?


I have to pick on the word "allow". That implies she is wanting, and he is resisting. It should be a mutual thing. I think it's all about feel. Do you feel that you would like to take a giant leap and actually share your life with someone? I don't think there is a strict timeline for that. Some of us are slower than others.


----------



## Wellsy

WamphyriThrall said:


> What are some things men can't stand about other men? Google has yielded few results, and I wouldn't count myself, since I don't see myself as one (aside from biologically). Thanks!


Their insecure masculinity that's so fragile that any little dent turns them into an irrational overly aggressive fool, typically maintain sexist views whether hostile or benevolent.


----------



## bknight554

My jeans sometimes crush my nuts when i sit down.. Very very uncomfortable and sometimes painful as hell. If i wear baggy jeans they just swing about, so its a catch 22..


----------



## bknight554

WamphyriThrall said:


> What are some things men can't stand about other men? Google has yielded few results, and I wouldn't count myself, since I don't see myself as one (aside from biologically). Thanks!


Number #1 thing? The fact that some men are show offs, the quiet ones such as myself arent.


----------



## Infermiera

I don't know if this has been asked before but how do men deal with heartbreak? How long do you get over it, or do you ever get over it?


----------



## sraddatz

WamphyriThrall said:


> What are some things men can't stand about other men? Google has yielded few results, and I wouldn't count myself, since I don't see myself as one (aside from biologically). Thanks!


When they intentionally treat their women like shit. I also can't stand to see a man that's lazy. Especially if he has children. It is strongly influenced by society, but I believe if you need to work hard to provide for your family. If you don't, you're not only a failure to you're family, but as a human being. That said, some men are fortunate enough to earn a better income than others. To me it's not about the money, though. It's about effort!


----------



## sraddatz

Infermiera said:


> I don't know if this has been asked before but how do men deal with heartbreak? How long do you get over it, or do you ever get over it?


Before we were married, my wife left me for a guy I used to work with. I was crushed. Absolutely demolished emotionally. She was my world, and I couldn't live without her. I cried a lot. I spent my free time with my friends. I worked to try and keep my mind off the pain. That didn't work. I tried to get laid, but failed miserably. I hoped that a new woman would help me forget. 

I never completely got over it, even though she came back and we were married 2 years later. I am more guarded. I don't think I'll ever be able to love anyone like I did her back then. Not even the same woman now.


----------



## 7rr7s

isingthebodyelectric said:


> What's it mean when a man says you have an amazingly sultry voice?


That you have a really sexy voice that turns him on. 



FePa said:


> Do you guys like more when we are really vocal or what?


As long as it's natural and you are actually turned on, then yeah it's good. Dirty talk is always a plus too. 



Karma said:


> Do you usually prefer to chase or being chased??? Or are you more of a hook and bait type??
> Especially when it comes to mutual flirting and initiating shit


Both. Most of the girls I've been with have pursued me, but I like pursuing too. Not sure what you mean by hook and bait, but I'm definitely not bait and switch. ;D. 



Kyandigaru said:


> What is the estimate time a man will allow his woman to move in? 6mos of dating or a year longer?


I think it's stupid to put a time limit on that since every relationship is different. When it gets more serious and marriage is being discussed, then that's probably the time to move in. 



WamphyriThrall said:


> What are some things men can't stand about other men? Google has yielded few results, and I wouldn't count myself, since I don't see myself as one (aside from biologically). Thanks!


Men who are either emotional robots or too emotional and do nothing to balance themselves out, men without any ambition in life, men who care more about sports statistics than improving their lot in life, men who think that being aggressive, violent, and showing off is what healthy masculinity looks like, men who don't leave an impression either way and are just kind of average, boring and status quo. 



Infermiera said:


> I don't know if this has been asked before but how do men deal with heartbreak? How long do you get over it, or do you ever get over it?


I've dealt with it in all sorts of ways, from numbing out with booze, sex, food, or work, to torturing myself by thinking about them constantly and hanging on to hope, to completely blocking them out of my life and forgetting them. I think the best way is to just shut them out completely and focus on new girls and throw myself into work or some other sort of productive activity. Once I'm over it, I can look back and see what I did wrong, ways to improve myself moving forward, and maybe be friends with them if it's not too painful. 

It usually takes me a while to get over someone though. At least 6 months. Although I did get over my ex by going on a 42 day drinking binge, but I wouldn't really recommend that. XD.


----------



## wiarumas

Kyandigaru said:


> What is the estimate time a man will allow his woman to move in? 6mos of dating or a year longer?


Time has nothing to do with it.

I would say, when you are basically living together as it is. It makes sense to consolidate 2 places to 1 if you are basically spending all your time at one. I wouldn't make the jump moving all that stuff and committing to someone that deeply if you don't know what the dynamics are of being around them around the clock.


----------



## wiarumas

WamphyriThrall said:


> What are some things men can't stand about other men? Google has yielded few results, and I wouldn't count myself, since I don't see myself as one (aside from biologically). Thanks!


Things that bother me about people are not gender related. Nearly all the answers I can think of are universal. For example, I don't like incompetence, which has nothing to do with whether they have a penis or not. I suppose I'm not one for double standards, as I prefer to have one, big, critical view of everybody haha.


----------



## wiarumas

Infermiera said:


> I don't know if this has been asked before but how do men deal with heartbreak? How long do you get over it, or do you ever get over it?


Its all in your head. In time you'll get out of that mindset. First, the person has to go through the process. Grieving is universal and exists to help a person to cope and learn with life events of loss whether its death, divorce, break up, etc. If a person is having an overly hard time letting go, I would suggest seeking professional help to help them through the process to get some acceptance/closure.


----------



## zaczacattack

wiarumas said:


> I'm an ENTJ type 3 male.
> 
> Ive done it all from being in a band, fraternity, marriage, parenting, and everything in between. I have genius level IQ, paint, cook, write poetry, short stories, novels, shoot guns, work on cars, etc.
> 
> Want to ask a guy anything - sex, relationships, personal questions, guy mentality, bro code - go ahead.


So at what age did you get into music in a creative way? Did you ever "grow out" of your passion for it? and most importantly of course, did it ever get you laid?


----------



## wiarumas

zaczacattack said:


> So at what age did you get into music in a creative way? Did you ever "grow out" of your passion for it? and most importantly of course, did it ever get you laid?


I started playing guitar in my early teens, but gave up on it after I struggled with how difficult it was. I had a busy life so I wanted to unwind by playing music, not invest a bunch of time into something only to be able to play mary had a little lamb, etc.

I got a second wind and tried again when I was around 15 maybe. Not too long, some guys I met through a girl I was dating were looking to start a band and were looking for a bassist. They already had 2 guitarists and wondered if I wanted to give it a try. Picked it up, instantly liked it, and jumped right in. Got some additional lessons (mostly because I was using a pick and playing it like a guitar; wanted to learn some theory). We rented this run down little room where we kept our equipment, and we would play nearly everyday.

I don't think I ever grew out of my passion for it. But, it was never a priority or a driving force in my life. It was always an outlet, an escape. So I still play time to time, but its not something I do regularly. Only when I need that outlet.

As for it getting me laid, I wouldn't say that alone got me laid, but I'm sure it helped haha.


----------



## .17485

Has any guy ever brought a male sex toy to use when masturbating?


----------



## dizzycactus

Metasentient said:


> Thanks for the tips. They could not have possibly come at a better time since I was just considering buying melatonin supplements.
> 
> They are supposed to be unhealthy in general, since the body becomes dependent on them and ceases making its own melatonin.











blue blocking goggles. Blue wavelengths suppress melatonin production.


----------



## dizzycactus

Metasentient said:


> Third wave feminism has impacted society in the same way that any attempt at a mass paradigm-shift would. It is finally exposing the ugly issues to the surface, where they might shock and unsettle many people indeed (to put it lightly). So it's understandable that the problem appears to be feminism itself, when it may appear more convenient to leave historic social norms unchanged.


It's pretty easy to have ugly issues when you make up the research about them


----------



## Serenitylala

dizzycactus said:


> It's pretty easy to have ugly issues when you make up the research about them


You go guy!


----------



## 7rr7s

Any tips or "hacks" with regards to taxes, finance, asset protection, growing wealth ect. ?


Here is a cool one, Dogs Of The Dow. 

Take the top 10 highest yielding stocks of the Dow Jones, buy in equal increments on the first trading day of the year, sell on the last trading day of the year. Repeat annually. You make about a 17% ROI. 

Puppies Of The Dow. 

Of the 10 dogs, take the five cheapest ones, buy in equal increments on the last trading day of the year, sell on the first trading day of the year. Repeat annually for about a 20% ROI.


----------



## olonny

So here's this thing I've noticed more than once in men that I have never ever seen in a woman and that I would never ever do myself.

A guy introduces a girl to a friend (only saying the name, not mentioning what their relationship is or anything). This friend starts flirting with the girl openly and sometimes even shamelessly, often with the guy who introduced the girl in front of them. Why? I mean... really, why??
If one of my friends introduces a guy to me I would never think about flirting with him. It is indeed true that we girls tend to talk about people we like before we start introducing each other and guys don't do those kind of things. But still, if a female friend introduces a guy to me, a guy she has never mentioned before, at least, *AT LEAST*, I wait until I got a private time with her to ask her what sort of relationship they've got and if she is interested. Then, in case I find him interesting, I would start thinking about flirting. But I would NEVER start flirting with him right away in front of my friend. That's kind of rude


----------



## Fluctuate

Will you vote on my poll?
http://personalitycafe.com/entj-forum-executives/538146-would-you-create-world.html


I guess a question I have besides this one would be... 
Does your wife wear makeup and do you like her with or without it?


----------



## Mmmm

PLEASE HELP! I have a client coming into my office every day to drink his coffee & hang out. He wants to engage in small talk & keeps trying to flirt with me. :frustrating: He already asked me if I'm married or if I have a boyfriend, I said "no, I don't have time for that". I'm not interested in him, he's old enough to be my dad, so it grosses me out when he tries to flirt or check me out. Since he's retired he has plenty of time to kill & says he likes to "bug me". I hate this, it's so annoying having to humor him when I have work to do. I have even tried to look busier than usual & it's not doing the trick, he just keeps talking. I can't be rude to him since he's a client, what can I do to get rid of him? HELP ME!!!


----------



## Children Of The Bad Revolution

Mmmm said:


> PLEASE HELP! I have a client coming into my office every day to drink his coffee & hang out. He wants to engage in small talk & keeps trying to flirt with me. :frustrating: He already asked me if I'm married or if I have a boyfriend, I said "no, I don't have time for that". I'm not interested in him, he's old enough to be my dad, so it grosses me out when he tries to flirt or check me out. Since he's retired he has plenty of time to kill & says he likes to "bug me". I hate this, it's so annoying having to humor him when I have work to do. I have even tried to look busier than usual & it's not doing the trick, he just keeps talking. I can't be rude to him since he's a client, what can I do to get rid of him? HELP ME!!!


Tell him to piss off. Client or not, unwanted attention is wrong. 

Doy just realised its a Ask a guy thread. Sozzy!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## _Ionic

WamphyriThrall said:


> What are some things men can't stand about other men? Google has yielded few results, and I wouldn't count myself, since I don't see myself as one (aside from biologically). Thanks!


1. How you have to prove your "manliness" 

2. Some men who think that women are not suitable for positions of power because they feel as though its a "man's" world

3. How some men believe life is just all about (excuse my language) "Fucking bitches and getting money."

4. Men who think that if you use the urinal in the middle when there are three urinals in a given bathroom, you are gay


----------



## WamphyriThrall

_Ionic said:


> 4. Men who think that if you use the urinal in the middle when there are three urinals in a given bathroom, you are gay


I have literally never even heard of this one XD Explain it to me, pls?


----------



## _Ionic

Well I think its more of a common problem among young males of my generation really. There is a unwritten rule in I guess what you call the "Guy Code" that states that you must be have one urinal of space between you and another guy when using the restroom if its possible. This so that you are not seen as being "gay". Some guys feel as though being that close to somebody when doing your business you are going to have someone who is bound to look at your goodies so in order to avoid that we implanted a rule. It is not really talked about, but silently understood. 

To be honest with you, it's stupid and dumb.
@WamphyriThrall


----------



## 7rr7s

_Ionic said:


> Well I think its more of a common problem among young males of my generation really. There is a unwritten rule in I guess what you call the "Guy Code" that states that you must be have one urinal of space between you and another guy when using the restroom if its possible. This so that you are not seen as being "gay". Some guys feel as though being that close to somebody when doing your business you are going to have someone who is bound to look at your goodies so in order to avoid that we implanted a rule. It is not really talked about, but silently understood.
> 
> To be honest with you, it's stupid and dumb.
> @*WamphyriThrall*


I can see if it's like 2 stalls only, but if there's a long line of stalls, especially the ones without the blocks between them, I'd think it would be pretty weird if a dude went to the one exactly next to mine.


----------



## _Ionic

BlueChristmas06 said:


> I can see if it's like 2 stalls only, but if there's a long line of stalls, especially the ones without the blocks between them, I'd think it would be pretty weird if a dude went to the one exactly next to mine.


Well where I'm from they have blocks in between so it makes no sense either way. If they didn't like you said, yes it would be weird.


----------



## Mmmm

I have a guy friend who got married a couple of years ago. I am also friends with his wife although I've known him longer. Anyway I've noticed since he's been married he's become more touchy feely with me & I don't think his wife appreciates it. Last time I saw them his wife & I were making plans to get together & he came over & pulled me in for a bear hug. I saw her face & she did not look happy. Needless to say she hasn't called me since then. My question is why is he taking liberties & being so affectionate with me now when he wasn't that way before he got married? Should I tell him to back off?


----------



## Mmmm

New question... So let's say a guy is obsessed with this gorgeous girl, he chases her, woos her, & even claims to "love" her... she finally gives in after months of being pursued, & is "conquered"! So after he sleeps with her, he drops her 'like a sack of potatoes'! He won't make contact & ignores any contact she tries to make, _why_?!
Is it because he got what he wanted? The perfect ideal he painted in his head didn't match reality? It wasn't as great as he thought it was going to be? He just wanted another 'notch on his bedpost'? What could be the reason?


----------



## Denature

Mmmm said:


> New question... So let's say a guy is obsessed with this gorgeous girl, he chases her, woos her, & even claims to "love" her... she finally gives in after months of being pursued, & is "conquered"! So after he sleeps with her, he drops her 'like a sack of potatoes'! He won't make contact & ignores any contact she tries to make, _why_?!
> Is it because he got what he wanted? The perfect ideal he painted in his head didn't match reality? It wasn't as great as he thought it was going to be? He just wanted another 'notch on his bedpost'? What could be the reason?


She obviously wasn't that important to him. No matter what the reason is, it'll all lead down to the same thing. She wasn't important.
The fact that all is given is that she's "this gorgeous girl" leads me to think that only her looks were a factor in his "Love" (*cough* infatuation)
She sounds like she didn't even like him. I mean "she *finally gives in* after months of being pursued"?? Maybe the guy picked up on that and didn't take her very seriously.

Any of those reasons you listed seem possible as well but like I said, she must be not that important to him.


----------



## Stawker

Mmmm said:


> New question... So let's say a guy is obsessed with this gorgeous girl, he chases her, woos her, & even claims to "love" her... she finally gives in after months of being pursued, & is "conquered"! So after he sleeps with her, he drops her 'like a sack of potatoes'! He won't make contact & ignores any contact she tries to make, _why_?!
> Is it because he got what he wanted? The perfect ideal he painted in his head didn't match reality? It wasn't as great as he thought it was going to be? He just wanted another 'notch on his bedpost'? What could be the reason?


The guy was boring, the girl was boring, the relationship was boring, the sex was boring. Fuck, life itself was boring for both.

I'm assuming they both committed suicide afterwards.


----------



## Mmmm

Stawker said:


> The guy was boring, the girl was boring, the relationship was boring, the sex was boring. Fuck, life itself was boring for both.
> 
> I'm assuming they both committed suicide afterwards.


:bored:


----------



## Purrfessor

Mmmm said:


> New question... So let's say a guy is obsessed with this gorgeous girl, he chases her, woos her, & even claims to "love" her... she finally gives in after months of being pursued, & is "conquered"! So after he sleeps with her, he drops her 'like a sack of potatoes'! He won't make contact & ignores any contact she tries to make, _why_?!
> Is it because he got what he wanted? The perfect ideal he painted in his head didn't match reality? It wasn't as great as he thought it was going to be? He just wanted another 'notch on his bedpost'? What could be the reason?


It's because he did all the work to make it happen. It wasn't a mutually advancing thing but rather a one-sided dragging the other person to the destination thing. 

Think of it like this: if you climb a mountain, what do you do after? You get the fuck off the mountain and enjoy walking on flat land lol and you get to tell everybody that you climbed a mountain too. 

The mountain didn't help you climb it. It just allowed you to climb it. And it's exhausting climbing mountains.. probably one of the worst ways to live. It's meaningless self-torture. And when it's all done and the mountain asks you to come back?? LMAO yeah right fuck off mountain I'm tired. I can't be breathing that O3 oxygen... I need me some O2.


----------



## atamagasuita

I already know everything about a guy. -_- 

Sent from my E5823 using Tapatalk


----------



## Electra

have you ever considered to do stereotypical "female activities" as a lot of women does stereotypical "male activities" because it should be fair to all despite gender?


----------



## Ultio

Electra2 said:


> have you ever considered to do stereotypical "female activities" as a lot of women does stereotypical "male activities" because it should be fair to all despite gender?


What are these activities? And why should one gender do it just because the other gender does it?


----------



## Electra

Ultio said:


> What are these activities? And why should one gender do it just because the other gender does it?


knitting.

For the sake of equality.


----------



## Ultio

Electra2 said:


> knitting.
> 
> For the sake of equality.


What if I don't like knitting or any other stereotypical "female activities?"

To answer your question, yes, I have done some knitting to practice suturing.

What sort of stereotypical "male activities" have you done?


----------



## Electra

Ultio said:


> What if I don't like knitting or any other stereotypical "female activities?"
> 
> To answer your question, yes, I have done some knitting to practice suturing.
> 
> What sort of stereotypical "male activities" have you done?


Computer programming, playing football, video games fixing electronic things my self?
Depends on where you live to answer it though.


----------



## Electra

Ultio said:


> What if I don't like knitting or any other stereotypical "female activities?"
> 
> To answer your question, yes, I have done some knitting to practice suturing.
> 
> What sort of stereotypical "male activities" have you done?


Will you continue?


----------



## atamagasuita

I already know everything about guys. Whew..... Pity me


----------



## Electra

This will never end -_- Ne


----------



## Ultio

Electra2 said:


> Computer programming, playing football, video games fixing electronic things my self?
> Depends on where you live to answer it though.


You still haven't answered my other question! 



Electra2 said:


> Will you continue?


Continue what?


----------



## Electra

Ultio said:


> You still haven't answered my other question!
> 
> 
> 
> Continue what?


read again or move country 

knitting


----------



## Ultio

Electra2 said:


> read again or move country
> 
> knitting


I asked - what if I don't like knitting or any other stereotypical "female activities?" as in why do I, as a man, have to do these stereotypical "female activities" even if I don't like them or you, as a woman, have to do these stereotypical "male activities" if you don't like them for the sake of equality?


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## Electra

Ultio said:


> I asked - what if I don't like knitting or any other stereotypical "female activities?" as in why do I, as a man, have to do these stereotypical "female activities" even if I don't like them or you, as a woman, have to do these stereotypical "male activities" if you don't like them for the sake of equality?


I like many sterotypical masculine activities. 
You can do what you like. 
I'm just testing you as I try to get down to the core of you. (or the whole humanity for that sake.)
But now I want to see if you are open to gender equality and how you feel about gender discrimination.


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## Ultio

Electra2 said:


> I like many sterotypical masculine activities.
> You can do what you like.


How can I do what I like when you force equality? 



> I'm just testing you as I try to get down to the core of you. (or the whole humanity for that sake.)
> But now I want to see if you are open to gender equality and how you feel about gender discrimination.


People should be rewarded based on skill and merit and not based on what's in between their legs?


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## Electra

Ultio said:


> How can I do what I like when you force equality?
> 
> 
> 
> People should be rewarded based on skill and merit and not based on what's in between their legs?


When did I force you into anything, and how should I do that? Would you be ok with that?
Does that meen doing what you like is against equality?


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## Ultio

Electra2 said:


> When did I force you into anything, and how should I do that? Would you be ok with that?
> Does that meen doing what you like is against equality?


LOL! 

So how do you intend to enact equality and fairness for a single nation (let's forget all of humanity for now)?


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## Electra

Ultio said:


> LOL!
> 
> So how do you intend to enact equality and fairness for a single nation (let's forget all of humanity for now)?


erh I have to run along to a meeting right now, then I have school after that :idunno::kirby: :lemmings_by_mirz123
But I will keep the question in the back of my head, I promise! :distant::jupiter:


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## Ultio

Electra2 said:


> erh I have to run along to a meeting right now, then I have school after that :idunno::kirby: :lemmings_by_mirz123
> But I will keep the question in the back of my head, I promise! :distant::jupiter:


I will hold you to that!

Pm me with your answer as I don't want to derail this thread.


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## Electra

Ultio said:


> I will hold you to that!
> 
> Pm me with your answer as I don't want to derail this thread.


Do that!
But I don't wanna derail your mail though


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## Ultio

Electra2 said:


> Do that!
> But I don't wanna derail your mail though


I see. Should have known that we can't have an intelligent discussion. :dry:


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## Electra

Ultio said:


> I see. Should have known that we can't have an intelligent discussion. :dry:


No, then you should have gone to a forum for intelligent people.
Intelligent is what intelligent does.
Let me ask you something else. What would you do if a girl you liked didn't shower for 3 days?
Would you still be in to her?


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## Electra

What does one want for x-mas?


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## Wellsy

Volva said:


> What does one want for x-mas?







My tip is to keep an ear and eye out for lackings in the person's day to day life, something that would make their life easier. Alternatively you can focus on anything they express an interest in to guide possible gifts.
I think what makes a gift special is how it fits the specific person.
I'm a crap person to get gifts for in that I don't really want for much.


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## General Lee Awesome

Volva said:


> What does one want for x-mas?


Hobby related..

For me, any hiking gear would be appreciated


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## Max

Who wants to hmu with a drink?


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## InfiniteLightvoid

@wiarumas

Alright oh wise machoest macho man of all men. Tell me.

How does a man reconcile the harsh reality that following the status quo, he is to a woman no more than a disposable tool that serves no purpose other than to mindlessly stack up to her standards?

Cause my testosteronez are tingling and telling me "Fuck dat bro, you are King. Go your own way."


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## openend

@Mmmm

A way to a mans heart IS food if he is SP first.


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## Mmmm

Is it weird that my friend's husband set up a "dinner date" with me? His words, not mine. My friend will be there too, he said he would let her know when she came home. Maybe it's just me, but I thought it was odd. And no, they aren't swingers, in case anyone was wondering.


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## Amyra

Whats your weakness?


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## DudeGuy

InfiniteLightvoid said:


> How does a man reconcile the harsh reality that following the status quo, he is to a woman no more than a disposable tool that serves no purpose other than to mindlessly stack up to her standards?


A nice cup of coffee.


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## DudeGuy

Electra said:


> Let me ask you something else. What would you do if a girl you liked didn't shower for 3 days?
> Would you still be in to her?


Yes, and probably longer too. :blushed: she could be a grungy one.


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## InfiniteLightvoid

DudeGuy said:


> A nice cup of coffee.


Here's a revolutionary idea that you never heard of that is going to turn your entire world upside down my guy:

You can have a cup of coffee without being a slave to a thot.


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## Marvin the Dendroid

Mmmm said:


> Is it weird that my friend's husband set up a "dinner date" with me?


Yes.



Amyra said:


> What's your weakness?


Durian & cats.


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## DudeGuy

InfiniteLightvoid said:


> Here's a revolutionary idea that you never heard of that is going to turn your entire world upside down my guy:
> 
> You can have a cup of coffee without being a slave to a thot.


That didn't turn my world as much as you suggested.


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