# How Many Times Have You Been in Love?



## Fern (Sep 2, 2012)

The way I behave, most would assume I've never been in love and have no desire to do so. I deliberately add to this projection.

But I am secretly an idealist when it comes to love. I have known It in its purest of forms twice.


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## ClarityOfVision (Mar 3, 2013)

Fern said:


> The way I behave, most would assume I've never been in love and have no desire to do so. I deliberately add to this projection.


Why do you add to that projection?


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## Fern (Sep 2, 2012)

ClarityOfVision said:


> Why do you add to that projection?


I think it's because it makes me feel safe. I suppose I'm hoping someone will take the time to break through it someday, to show they care.
I should really think on this more closely... It doesn't really help in any way
Thank you for asking


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## Madam (Apr 1, 2012)

Never. I've liked many people, some more, some less, but I don't think that I've ever been in love with someone.


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## ClarityOfVision (Mar 3, 2013)

Fern said:


> I think it's because it makes me feel safe. I suppose I'm hoping someone will take the time to break through it someday, to show they care.
> I should really think on this more closely... It doesn't really help in any way
> Thank you for asking


If you don't give people a chance they have no way of breaking through it. I expose myself to people just enough to see if they're worthy of my trust. If you give someone your trust first, then I think they will be very inclined to find out more about you. Why block the possibility? For safety? I can imagine, I was the same...but not anymore. I'm cautious, yes, but I tell people about myself, especially my closest friends and my girlfriend. I only got my girlfriend through an enormous amount of trust and very personal communication...

Are you afraid to get hurt?


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## Soldier of fortune (Nov 29, 2012)

Once.


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## JackCoates (Mar 1, 2013)

Only once. Though it can never be. I will not go into any more details on the thread but yeah, just once.


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## Maru the Gingerhead (Apr 25, 2013)

Four times in my lifetime.


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## DeathRipper (Jan 23, 2013)

Not just yet.


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## Dark NiTe (Mar 5, 2012)

Fern said:


> The way I behave, *most would assume I've never been in love and have no desire to do so*. I deliberately add to this projection.
> 
> But I am secretly an idealist when it comes to love. I have known It in its purest of forms twice.


What exactly do you mean? Even an emotionally distant INTJ like myself cannot hide it from anybody at all when I am in love, they can smell it a mile away. 

Perhaps the "idealism" is why it doesn't work out? I've grown very sick and tired of women who think that love is some completely autonomous dynamic that prevents anybody from doing any wrong, and behave with the utmost vindictiveness when mistakes are made on its behalf. I just got done holding on for dear life as a selfish piece of shit left me out in the freezing cold for months on end while she decided she was going to punish me for the result of the PTSD that her self-centeredness produced in the first place. But, surely enough, it dwindled down to nothing, despite my very best cognitive efforts otherwise, and she found out exactly how cold she had been to me, the hard way. She apparently valued shallowness and complete lack of consequential foresight above compassion and something with real substance. Well, in the end, she got what she wanted I guess. The power of love is just as critical as the amount of compassion and understanding necessary for its success, and growth. Without the desire for accommodation, ie. not being selfish, it is absolutely inevitable to fail.


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## Vines (Sep 27, 2011)

Just once, it caught me by surprise that's for sure! Definitely wasn't searching for it..but i am very fortunate to have found it anyway c:


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## .17485 (Jan 12, 2011)

I haven't fallen in love yet. I haven't dated a woman before


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## friendly80sfan (May 12, 2011)

I've liked people before, but I don't believe I was ever truly in love. I look forward to the day when I can say that I'm in love.


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## Loupgaroux (Mar 9, 2013)

Never been in love. Loved the person I was in a relationship with, but wasn't in love with him. And I have no interest to be in love or have a relationship again.


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## Curiously (Nov 7, 2011)

1.5
Yes, strange answer, but deal with it.

I rounded up for poll, and voted for "2 times".


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## countrygirl90 (Oct 11, 2012)

I,m always in love, with my family ,pets ,myself ,nature and life .I don't like suppressing or keeping it for just one specific person because love is like a gift , the more you'll give it to your loved ones the more happy and contented you'll feel.


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## geekofalltrades (Feb 8, 2012)

Once, for sure. Maybe twice.


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## bekkajp (Jan 31, 2013)

I said only once, despite the fact that I have told a few people I've dated that I loved them. 

Which, I feel bad about telling others I loved them-- it wasn't dishonesty, so much as not really understanding what love was when I had said it (immaturity), mixed in with the _desire_ to be in love with someone clouding my judgement of whether I really was or not...if that makes sense. 

The love I have for my fiance is a force of the universe that is impossible to separate myself from (and I wouldn't even want to try, really) It's unconditional. I wouldn't change a thing about him, even the thing that sometimes cause us to butt heads. He's the very best friend I've ever had or could even ever imagine having. 

I'll just stop right there before I get too gushy and annoying.


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## Hjordis (Feb 2, 2013)

I had to think a bit about this, since I don't know if that one particular _case _really was love. I clicked "two times", but I'm not sure, honestly. I know for sure that I've been once, and it still lasts.


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## Monsieur Melancholy (Nov 16, 2012)

Once.

And there will never be another one like her.


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