# Singles: Are You Currently Looking for a Romantic Partner?



## WickedQueen (Jun 1, 2009)

Like the title said.

If you are single, are you currently looking for a romantic partner?
If yes, how? If no, why?


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## Aerorobyn (Nov 11, 2009)

No, I'm not _looking_ for one. I really _enjoy_ being single and not having the pressure of having to feel the need to satisfy a significant other. I'm enjoying being alone, when it comes to relationships; however, if someone were to come along and I felt there could be something long-term there, I wouldn't dismiss it. But I'm definitely not going to just jump into something for the hell of it. I feel I'm much too independent to be tied to someone I really had no strong interest in.


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## Calvaire (Nov 14, 2009)

Not really.I feel like if something happens then I'll go with it.
if it doesn't then fine. Obviously it'd be nice if something
did happen,but I'm satisfied with how I am right now.


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## marked174 (Feb 24, 2010)

I want one, but I've found that it's best to not look for one. I'm sure someone special will turn up eventually, and it's my job to make sure I'm worth something when she does.


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## Razvan (Dec 17, 2009)

Yeap, I'm looking, I have no idea how, but I am. I had some phases, I tried to explain what went wrong in my previous relationships, so I turned to whatever was around me, I turned to astrology and I said, ok, I would need someone closer to me, a water sign with the ascendant in an air sign with he moon in an earth sign, at least.:laughing: Than I thought, ok, psychology is better, lets try this instead, screw astrology, I need...an ENFJ, that's what they say it's best, let's find some and see. So now I think I need a combination of the both.:laughing: On a more serious level, I try to socialize, meet interesting people, see if something works or not, if I'll fall in love with someone, all that won't matter. Although I do find I am more attracted to NFs...


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## Nasmoe (Nov 11, 2009)

Nah. I'm fine on my own. I've just never been concerned with having a romantic partner. Besides if I go out looking for one, I will just be an awkward mess. I would rather search friends first, then maybe just maybe a romantic partner if I like them enough. But I am really too much of a loner and fine with being on my own.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

I'm not currently looking for a relationship, no.


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## thewindlistens (Mar 12, 2009)

I thought I was. But just recently I noticed a trend. Whenever I get close to the possibility, I either insult/humiliate her in a hurtful way or make myself look like a horrible or disgusting person to her. Anything, as long as it'll make me look unappealing enough to ruin my chances. I don't know why I do this. It's completely subconscious and unintentional. It's like the sickest joke of a reflex ever...


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## bionic (Mar 29, 2010)

Yes I am single. No I am not looking. Its been a few months since my last relationship and I've JUST got over my asshole ESTJ ex. After him, I don't want to be with anyone for a very long time. My priorities are work and my book right now.


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## Skewed (Jul 14, 2009)

Am I looking? No. I will say at times it would be nice to have someone else around to talk too. I do not know why I am not looking. Maybe because everyone in the past that I have looked for has never worked out for one reason or another. So, I think I just adapted and began to take things as they came. If someone comes along that I feel is expressing interest, I will consider it, but I do not see myself putting myself out there so to speak.


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## Siggy (May 25, 2009)

No, too much going on right now, and I dont need any more complications.

Now if a guy 6'1 dark hair, blue eyes, fair complexion, drives up in a brand new Jaguar, who is in a profession that is legal, and offers me a ride to Paris, _then _I might reconsider:crazy:


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## thisisme (Apr 11, 2010)

thewindlistens said:


> I thought I was. But just recently I noticed a trend. Whenever I get close to the possibility, I either insult/humiliate her in a hurtful way or make myself look like a horrible or disgusting person to her. Anything, as long as it'll make me look unappealing enough to ruin my chances. I don't know why I do this. It's completely subconscious and unintentional. It's like the sickest joke of a reflex ever...


oh shit...that's interesting.

i mean...i'm sorry... i know it sucks for you but i wonder what that is.


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## OctoberSkye (Jun 3, 2010)

I'm completely open to it, although I'm not actively looking. Anyone interested in me would have to be very persistent in the beginning.


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## Silver Phoenix (Jun 8, 2010)

thewindlistens said:


> I thought I was. But just recently I noticed a trend. Whenever I get close to the possibility, I either insult/humiliate her in a hurtful way or make myself look like a horrible or disgusting person to her. Anything, as long as it'll make me look unappealing enough to ruin my chances. I don't know why I do this. It's completely subconscious and unintentional. It's like the sickest joke of a reflex ever...


Me too.

Because of that, I am not really looking, that takes way too much time and energy than I have at the end of a day. If someone fell into my lap and I were past the flirting stage I would be home free.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

No, it's the whole reason I came to the forum. I am hiding. I have never gone a whole year "on my own". Although right now I really would like to fuck my ex. But my thoughts should be elsewhere. Like on court and shit. I am trying to be good and stay my ass away from relationships for a while. When I am "ripe" and ready, I will go back out there. 

However, there are alot of sexy people on PC. STOP TEMPTING ME PC! :angry:


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## InvisibleJim (Jun 30, 2009)

pinkrasputin said:


> However, there are alot of sexy people on PC. STOP TEMPTING ME PC! :angry:


Are you sure it isn't that the sexy PC people are keeping you on the straight and narrow? :laughing:
Marginal benefit of relationship = Marginal cost of relationship

I'm currently not looking. If something did come up I may be interested; then of course I would be. At the moment life is okay, if a little dull because I'm very organised.


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## JoetheBull (Apr 29, 2010)

I am open to it but I am putting off looking until I get some of my problems dealt with. I would prefer to be looking for a romantic partner but not dealing with these problems only hinders my chances and the relationship. Or so I heard.


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## Sizzorhandz (Jan 25, 2010)

I'm not looking, I think I will wait till I have esatblished myslef. I dont want to settle if that makes any since? Like, I want a guy who has a job and isn't an inmature boy, none of those seem to exist in my little corner of hell, is that wrong of me? I had this guy talking t me but he has a felony charge, I really like him but he has no job, lives at home, and has no prospects for a future, that isn't what I want for myself and possibly my children.


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## Mikbert (Jul 19, 2009)

No,

I'm joining the legion in a few months time and it would just be stupid to get into a relationship.


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## Quin Sabe (Jan 26, 2010)

I'm always looking for possibilities, they just never seem to be looking for me, lol


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## Immemorial (May 16, 2010)

I personally, am not.

I don't believe that I ever will start. I have went through my life without intimate contact and it has done me fine.

That; and the fantastic females only seem to exist on this site. I have very little interest in relationships at this time. That may change, but I doubt it.


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## SenhorFrio (Apr 29, 2010)

i'm looking, i guess..but i'm not trying very hard i guess, i've already tried and failed at getting with every girl i can respect in my town-so it's a waiting game but i'm forever viligant


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## Steve MD (Jun 11, 2010)

I'm looking alright, I failed repeatedly, so I am now just sitting and waiting.....


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## ProlyphiQ (Jul 1, 2010)

hahaha yea...always on the hunt for a good relationship. I'm more of a 'know it when you find it' INTP, therefore I have a bunch of mini-relationships. I've had great ones, but no 'the ones' if that makes any sense. I try not to waste her's and most importantly my time with something I don't see progressing to the commitment level. But deep down, commitment is the ultimate goal...just have to wait and see :wink:


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

Been turned down by just about every girl in the area, so I'm just keeping a lookout.


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## ProlyphiQ (Jul 1, 2010)

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> Been turned down by just about every girl in the area, so I'm just keeping a lookout.


Dude then its time to turn up the heat...go out and buy yourself a panda bear costume, dress up, go to the most public place in your town (preferably downtown) and lay down in the middle of the side walk, with a bottle of booze and a half lit cigarette...i guarantee you, some hottie will stop :laughing:


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

I live in suburbia, and 80% of the girls in any reasonable distance are elementary schoolers. I'm too young to smoke and I'm too young to drink. Cut your crap.


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## ProlyphiQ (Jul 1, 2010)

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> I live in suburbia, and 80% of the girls in any reasonable distance are elementary schoolers. I'm too young to smoke and I'm too young to drink. Cut your crap.


...and Im going to guess you're also too young to have a sense of humor:wink:


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## Coccinellidae (Mar 16, 2010)

No, I'm not directly looking for a romantic partner. Just when I see someone interesting I might give myself a try.. although I'm a pro failure in relationships. :wink:


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

ProlyphiQ said:


> ...and Im going to guess you're also too young to have a sense of humor:wink:


And making dumb jokes is not welcome in a serious thread.


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## mrscientist (Jul 4, 2010)

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> And making dumb jokes is not welcome in a serious thread.


Relax. Noone is triing to pick a fight with you.


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## Nostalgic (Jul 20, 2010)

I'm looking, but no one seems to be looking for me.


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## antiant (Jul 4, 2010)

*cuts and pastes response from another forum* I don't approach people, people approach me. I'm the type to not really care about relationships, I don't need one, but if it happens it happens, that seems to work for me quite well.


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## darlarosa (Jul 20, 2010)

Yes and no. I would like to have a relationship, but I've never quite learned how to look or go about it. Besides most people don't see me as....relationship material. Either way I've come to the conclusion that a lot of my desire to be with someone may have been influenced by outside forces, which is a long story.


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## KrystRay (Jun 16, 2010)

I had this conversation earlier tonight... I am single and I'm open to a relationship, but I guess my expectations are set too highly because I'm constantly disappointed. Not even sexually, because they never get that far. Their personality flaws get to me far too soon. So I've taken to being myself as much as I can when I meet people and hopefully that will scare off the weak ones. I have a tendency to dominate most of my relationships because i have such a strong personality and I'm usually more ambitious than the guys I meet... It generally doesn't work out with guys younger than 30 because girls my age generally don't know how to express themselves in the same way that I do/speak their minds. I am constantly aware of my surroundings and analyzing every interaction that I have. I play up the dumb blonde thing so that I can have a better chance to catch people saying things they don't think I understand. It's actually kinda scary how quickly I can size them up... So I'm kind of intimidating and it's been a little difficult to find someone who meets my standards. Probably has something to do with the South Florida mentality. There are TONS of hot girls willing to give it up to the first good looking guy who comes along and that's very distracting to a lot of the guys down here. I was out at a friend's boat in Key Biscayne the other day and I had really good chemistry with one of the guys who was out there. Then another girl saw that and apparently she wanted him and was totally aggressive in trying to get him. I pulled him aside and said, "Honestly, I'm probably not going to sleep with you tonight and she probably is, so if that's what you're after, don't waste your time with me." He was a little offended, but sure enough, she invited him back to her house... People are so predictable to me. So, while I keep trying to meet someone, it's really not working out all that well. Go figure!


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## KrystRay (Jun 16, 2010)

Oh, and insecure guys can't deal with me. I'm a female massage therapist! Without trust, anything would be destroyed with me.


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## KrystRay (Jun 16, 2010)

darlarosa said:


> Yes and no. I would like to have a relationship, but I've never quite learned how to look or go about it. Besides most people don't see me as....relationship material. Either way I've come to the conclusion that a lot of my desire to be with someone may have been influenced by outside forces, which is a long story.


 
Try smiling and saying "hi." A lot of guys are too shy/stupid/insecure to talk to you on their own. Take notice of how many guys are posting here. We women need to give them some sort of subtle invitation and this seems to work for me...


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## TheCountess (Jun 24, 2010)

I'm currently a very happy single lady, but like most people said here, wouldn't say no if the right opportunity came up! All I know is I don't want somebody to need me. Clingy people are draining.


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## Blueguardian (Aug 22, 2009)

WickedQueen said:


> Like the title said.
> 
> If you are single, are you currently looking for a romantic partner?
> If yes, how? If no, why?


Currently, I am not_ really_ looking. I am keeping my eyes open though. So, sort of a half way looking.

Why am I keeping my eyes open?

I am keeping them open because I do desire to be with someone, and I don't want to let a good opportunity slip by due to my blindness.

How am I keeping them open?

I would say its just keeping the option open for romance, if it comes my way unexpectedly. I am not actively looking, but not really turning it away either.

Why aren't I looking?

The idea of going out on dates with people just to find a romantic someone isn't that appealing, it feels almost underhanded to me. (Yeah, I am weird.) Also, I am not where I want to be in my life yet. Since I am currently unemployed and fairly out of shape, I want to get my house in order a little bit before I try to find a girlfriend. There are or may be other reasons, but this is enough. roud:


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## TheCountess (Jun 24, 2010)

Blueguardian said:


> Currently, I am not_ really_ looking. I am keeping my eyes open though. So, sort of a half way looking.
> 
> Why am I keeping my eyes open?
> 
> ...


I totally respect your decision of getting your house in order, I'm doing it myself as well. I already promised myself not to date until I've moved out of my parent's basement. It's something that I feel pretty ashamed of and I know it's something that needs to go so I'll feel more confident dating again.

You'll have a much healthier relationship when you feel good about yourself. You won't go into the relationship as a leech, needing another person's constant help in feeling better about yourself. You can give so much more to a relationship when you love yourself.

... frankly I find it sexy that you admitted that you want to get your house in order. You're totally on the way to being a gorgeous confidant man! :blushed:


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## KrystRay (Jun 16, 2010)

TheCountess said:


> I totally respect your decision of getting your house in order, I'm doing it myself as well. I already promised myself not to date until I've moved out of my parent's basement. It's something that I feel pretty ashamed of and I know it's something that needs to go so I'll feel more confident dating again.


 
So what are you doing to change your situation? I know that your type can be a little unorganized sometimes, so if you'd like some suggestions on how to get from point A to point B, I'd love to help!


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## darlarosa (Jul 20, 2010)

KrystRay said:


> Try smiling and saying "hi." A lot of guys are too shy/stupid/insecure to talk to you on their own. Take notice of how many guys are posting here. We women need to give them some sort of subtle invitation and this seems to work for me...


 Well it's just that I always end up being friends with guys in a way that just makes even the idea of a relationship awkward. I'm the buddy who so happens to have a vagina...


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## Nostalgic (Jul 20, 2010)

darlarosa said:


> Well it's just that I always end up being friends with guys in a way that just makes even the idea of a relationship awkward. I'm the buddy who so happens to have a vagina...



So it's like you're a friend, but not girlfriend material?


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## darlarosa (Jul 20, 2010)

Nostalgic said:


> So it's like you're a friend, but not girlfriend material?


Yes exactly like that. I'm frequently told I'm a nice warm funny weird person but not the girlfriend type. I do not quite understand why...I mean people know I am available and I know a few guy friends thought about asking me out but they seem to immediatly dismiss the idea.


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## mrscientist (Jul 4, 2010)

Well you are tall, no? There is a more limited selection of people for you, no? I mean, you probably do not care about height, but a lot of people do. Personaly i think i might be somewhat of a heightist. And what is that "girlfriend type" bullcrap?


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

What's the point in saying I'm not looking? Even when I'm not looking for a relationship, I end up in one anyway. I think relationships just have a way of finding me. I don't go looking for them. Never really had the chance.


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## darlarosa (Jul 20, 2010)

mrscientist said:


> Well you are tall, no? There is a more limited selection of people for you, no? I mean, you probably do not care about height, but a lot of people do. Personaly i think i might be somewhat of a heightist. And what is that "girlfriend type" bullcrap?


Yes and yes there is a more limited selection of people. I understand that and I have always intimidated people because of my height (I was 5"5 when I was about nine). I think it's perfectly fine to be a bit reluctant to be interested in someone of a significantly different height. Most of the guys I like are around 5"8 to 6"0 and are kind of...off put by my being taller it's annoying but whatever.

As to the girlfriend thing D: I don't even know. I think most people think I'm just weird or motherly(dunno why) or...I don't even know.:crying:


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## Immemorial (May 16, 2010)

darlarosa said:


> Yes and yes there is a more limited selection of people. I understand that and I have always intimidated people because of my height (I was 5"5 when I was about nine). I think it's perfectly fine to be a bit reluctant to be interested in someone of a significantly different height. Most of the guys I like are around 5"8 to 6"0 and are kind of...off put by my being taller it's annoying but whatever.
> 
> As to the girlfriend thing D: I don't even know. I think most people think I'm just weird or motherly(dunno why) or...I don't even know.:crying:


I've always thought that men would have loved tall women.... :mellow:


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## Alvarez (Jul 15, 2010)

I'd say yeah, I'm looking, but in the same way that I look for happiness or fulfillment or my socks: I just proceed with life and see what happens. However, I'm not oblivious, and I wouldn't just let a girl get away from me without saying anything, even though this policy has perhaps been too painful in the long run, and is perhaps the key defining trait of who I am, with the whole "sealed off emotions" thing.

Self-analysis is lame so yeah, single.


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## darlarosa (Jul 20, 2010)

DarkestHour said:


> I've always thought that men would have loved tall women.... :mellow:


Surprisingly no according to my experience , at least not when the women are taller than them. 

I mean I would think it would be great...everyone is basically boobie height to me so why don't they enjoy the view :tongue:


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## Immemorial (May 16, 2010)

darlarosa said:


> Surprisingly no according to my experience , at least not when the women are taller than them.
> 
> I mean I would think it would be great...everyone is basically boobie height to me so why don't they enjoy the view :tongue:


How tall _are _you? You must be pretty damn tall if you put off guys at 6ft!


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## darlarosa (Jul 20, 2010)

DarkestHour said:


> How tall _are _you? You must be pretty damn tall if you put off guys at 6ft!


6"2 almost 6"3 and I occasionally wear boots or heels that add an extra inch.


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## SenhorFrio (Apr 29, 2010)

darlarosa said:


> 6"2 almost 6"3 and I occasionally wear boots or heels that add an extra inch.


we had a thread on taller girls awhile ago
http://personalitycafe.com/sex-relationships/25999-guys-only-dating-girls-taller-than-you.html


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## KrystRay (Jun 16, 2010)

Date athletes. I'm 5'4 and I only go for tall guys. I can't do anything over 6'3 though. It just gets awkward. There are some good looking really tall men out there... Don't be so open about yourself. Have some secrets and they will want to know what they are... Wear something sexy! They will want to know what you're all about!


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## darlarosa (Jul 20, 2010)

KrystRay said:


> Date athletes. I'm 5'4 and I only go for tall guys. I can't do anything over 6'3 though. It just gets awkward. There are some good looking really tall men out there... Don't be so open about yourself. Have some secrets and they will want to know what they are... Wear something sexy! They will want to know what you're all about!


 Yeah awkwardness
Thanks for the advice, but eh...the clothing thing...I can't do it not really. but I do appreciate it


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## KrystRay (Jun 16, 2010)

Thats your "I" talking... be;ieve in yourself! What are your strenghts? I'm sure you've got some killer long legs! Use them to your advantage!


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## CrabHammer (Jun 18, 2010)

DarkestHour said:


> I've always thought that men would have loved tall women.... :mellow:


I'll admit to being intimidated by women who as tall or taller than me. I mean it's not something on which I would make a yes or no relationship decision, but there is a kind of mental block to get over.

It's a little weird to me that motherly doesn't translate into attraction. I don't think everyone necessarily has an Oedipal Complex or anything. It just seem to me that there should be some remnant of an instinct in us that says, "Hey, she'd make a good mother for our hypothetical children."


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## amanda32 (Jul 23, 2009)

No, I'm not. I've been hurt twice this year so, I'm going to take a break and concentrate on improving myself and making myself happy.


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## Rogue Eagle (Oct 14, 2009)

Unless the girl that ticks all the boxes stumbles into my life I'm not looking.


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## Immemorial (May 16, 2010)

I have been searching for years.... But after all this grave digging.... I still haven't found the corpse for me.


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