# I think I've solved INTJ's



## DJArendee

So this is my interpretation so far. Yes, I think this was written down somewhere at one point, but not really in a language I could understand for myself. So in common Ti vernacular...

How do you talk to an INTJ, and what bothers them and gets them riled up?

INTJ's distance people from them emotionally. Why, I'm still not sure. I feel as though its not that difficult if you use some courage to test out the waters around you. If I, as an ISTP, can figure out how to be warm and friendly why can't they? Anyway, here comes the insulting part, brace yourselves.

I think you have to talk to them like a wild gorilla. No direct eye contact. Don't talk directly to them or about them either, because that would imply an emotional connection.

You may, however talk about random things unrelated to them. Talk about other people, or other things, I guess. Topics of conversation I still haven't figured out, other than asking them for opinion, which always works. Asking them to teach you stuff works. Me personally, I usually don't give them any more merit in their opinion than my own opinion. Both have an equal opportunity, but they get frustrated when I discredit their opinion... best to just appease them I guess, for us Fe users who like the social harmony.

Ti = mass assumptions. They'll never understand it, don't even bother trying to explain the pyramid of infinite proofs we conjure up.

Te is much like Fe, in that there is usually an overarching goal of the words being used. The words themselves mean absolutely nothing. Fe is all about tone of voice, Te is all about... hell I still don't know... whatever Fi is feeling?

In other words, any Te dom, such as INTJ's, will use words imprecicely. I get the sense that INTJ's are usually almost completely ignoring the people around them at all times. If you say something and they respond, its analogous to a branch of a tree scraping against their secluded mental house, it just inspires more thought, and they could care less about what the tree thinks.


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## viva

Talk to them about the news. Especially news related to politics, science, and the like... seriously. That's all my INTJ coworker would ever talk to me about. So you're kind of right. It's very impersonal.


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## Scylla

i can't speak for all INTJs, but asking for an opinion/teaching tends to work great! just make sure it's an opinion you're willing to take. also, small talk is fine but i'd prefer something clearer if someone comes up to me - i.e, get to the point. : D

i guess that's the one thing to keep in mind when talking to an intj: know what point you want to make beforehand. or, _have _a point. even when talking about other people or things - what's your point? etcetera.

and personally, i'm willing to talk to whoever wants to talk to me, as long as i feel like they are sincere and DO want to talk to me. yes, even if it's small talk. if i'm being used as a sounding board, i switch off very quickly.

your comment on ignoring, i guess personally sometimes it comes off like i'm ignoring people - i'm really not. ignoring implies knowing that they are there and a lot of times, i don't realize someone is trying to get my attention because i'm thinking about... stuff. haha. usually dumb stuff, but i zone out when i'm focusing on thoughts. ):

interesting entry, i never realized how positively i respond when someone asks for an opinion or to teach them things, until i read this.


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## Inveniet

I can see how you reached your conclusions.
They are somewhat inaccurate I believe, 
but would apply to most INTJs in this culture.

The problem that most INTJs experience, is not having an equal
to be friends with. Feeling like foreigners in a faraway land where
the customs are weirdly different. Being isolated in a crowd.

I have *one* fellow INTJ friend! And without that friendship both he and I would have become social retards!



> You may, however talk about random things unrelated to them. Talk about other people, or other things, I guess. Topics of conversation I still haven't figured out, other than asking them for opinion, which always works. Asking them to teach you stuff works.


They are hoping against hope that this person is the one that
gets me. Since you give the appearance of being on their wavelength.
But when you can't keep it up for long they move on disillusioned.
I will say that unhealthy INTJs display very needy behavior.
Look at Ayn Rand there you have a healthy example! 

You are right that we don't like being personal. That is because we have higher standards for what it takes to qualify as a friend.
Just because we have met before and spoke does not make you a friend of mine.

This is my opinion and may differ from other INTJs view.


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## Locheline

This was interesting. I would say that Te is where the sarcasm and obnoxious ego comes from, but I might be wrong.

Personally I prefer direct eye contact; it communicates engagement in the conversation. I will not talk to another person if I don't think they are engaged. As to talking about me to me, so long as your opinions on my behavior are based on your emotional interpretations I can't feed you a logical argument. I appreciate direct assessments of my behavior because I can't tell how I seem to other people. So I won't be interested in discussing your emotions on the subject, but I'll do my best to change, at least in my interactions with you individually.

In conversation, I like deep, engaging discussions and exchanges of wit.

Please explain Ti further.

I am not warm and friendly because A: I don't really care what others think of me, and B: I have no talent for small talk whatsoever. Trying to work it out is not something that's going to happen any time soon.

I use words precisely because writing is one of my interests, but if it was not then I would not.

I am logical, emotion is the exact opposite of logic, and therefore I have no respect for feelings. I try to make all decisions based on logic and weighing the benefits of the many variables in a situation. If the logical pluses and minuses cancel each other out, I will depend on emotion to make a decision.

I think that's everything. Response?


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## The Grand Vizer

I don't know about other INTJs, but I prefer eye contact. if you don't have the strength to look me in the eyes when talking directly too me, then your too weak to be worth my time.


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