# The "Perfect" Man/Woman



## sunshine (Jul 18, 2009)

(There is no such thing as "perfect," I know; don't turn this into a debate, please. :tongue

I'm kind of curious if I'm weird by doing this... A few months ago, I made a list of qualities that my "ideal man" would have. It's almost entirely personality-based (I added in a line about being "able to grow sideburns" ), and it's a combination of things I find attractive and reparations of things that have been issues in past relationships or that I think could be issues in future ones. A guy doesn't have to have most of them for us to date, of course; it's just a way of decided which guys I stand a better chance of having a good relationship with. And it's also sort of a fantasy, haha. We all have a mental list of ideal qualities, I'm sure, but I feel like only someone like me would write them all down. :tongue: So do any of you have a written list like that? (If you do, I'll totally post mine. I just want to make sure I'm not alone, haha.)


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## SUPERJERKASS (Aug 29, 2009)

ill show you mine if you show me yours lol. My lady really just has to be fun loving and like to have a good time. and be flexible... on times and dates and just live for the moment. im sure i will grow out of this but right now it sounds great.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

I had a written list back when I was in college. I think the qualities I wanted then were creativity, compassion, intensity, intelligence, humility, tolerance, and spontaneity. My list has gotten longer since then. I substitued wisdom for intelligence and removed intensity.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## pianopraze (Jun 29, 2009)

I want a woman who is:

-very intelligent
-loving/caring and takes care of my feelings
-good sens of humor
-loves to learn
-has an open mind

physically
-long hair... especially dark
-takes care of their body
-i prefer shorter women, but any height ok
-beautiful face
-ethnicity especially asian/indian most attractive but not necisary

-a woman who likes to be a woman
-huge bonus if they like to wear dresses most of the time as a personal preference

so a long haired, beautiful, intelligent, asian woman who likes to wear dresses, be a woman and takes good care of my emotional and sexual needs would be perfect...


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## SUPERJERKASS (Aug 29, 2009)

pianopraze said:


> I want a woman who is:
> 
> -very intelligent
> -loving/caring and takes care of my feelings
> ...




Waiter ill have one of what he is having, please


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## sunshine (Jul 18, 2009)

My list currently has 108 items, but that's because most of it is silly stuff like "likes to blow raspberries on my tummy." :tongue: Still debating whether or not to post it, haha.


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## pianopraze (Jun 29, 2009)

*raspberries and runs*


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

That's awesome. I want raspberries.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sunshine (Jul 18, 2009)

pianopraze said:


> *raspberries and runs*


*in a Southern accent* Oh mah! Mah perfeyuct mayun! Jus' lookie at that a boy run! :crazy:


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## pianopraze (Jun 29, 2009)

*raspberries snail and runs too*


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## sunshine (Jul 18, 2009)

[FONT=&quot]My uber long list:

1. Needs me to take care of him to some degree.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]2. Will also take care of me to some degree (it doesn’t even have to be equally so, that’s just so it’s not completely one-sided).[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]3. Willing to be hyper and cheerful with me.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]4. Makes me laugh.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]5. Does not let anger stand in the way of his well-being, my well-being, or the well-being of our relationship.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]6. Only has eyes for me.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]7. Gives me that look… The one where he can’t stop staring at me because he just adores me that much.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]8. Intelligent.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]9. Non-drinker.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]10. Nice arms. Not necessarily muscular, just… not scrawny.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]11. Looks good in a suit.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]12. Is okay with not having any furry creatures around because of my allergies and the fact that I hate being around dogs and llamas.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]13. Has a magical cure for my kitty and bunny allergies.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]14. Is not a furry.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]15. Likes and wants kids in the post-marriage, post-college, post-financial stability-establishing future.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]16. Believes from the start in the possibility of the institution of marriage rather than aiming for merely short term flings.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]17. Honest. None of that mysterious CRAP.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]18. Open. Really, really open.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]19. Willing to and able to grow SIDEBURNS.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]20. Does not do drugs. Cigarettes are okay, I guess, as long as he is not an asshole-ish attitude smoker, but no other drugs are acceptable.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]21. Willing to sing to me. I don’t care if he has a good voice.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]22. Brushes my hair out of my face affectionately…[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]23. Can at least feign amusement when I go on and on about something that isn’t interesting to anyone but me.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]24. Not totally sports obsessed.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]25. Good writer. The mind of a writer will be more likely to relate to my mind. I need someone to talk to who understands the way I think to some degree.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]26. Has a fairly low awkwardness threshold (at least in private—in public, some knowledge of social boundaries is generally beneficial).[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]27. Good at tickling.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]28. Makes fun of my laugh because he likes it and not just because it sometimes sounds weird.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]29. Thinks I’m funny even whenever I’m so obviously not.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]30. After marriage—willing to help me support the family financially with a non-fast-food job (but not rich) or willing to be a full-time hubby and daddy.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]31. Will dance with me… and hold me up when I stumble around… and smile at me when he realizes that I will never be able to dance…[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]32. Will catch me if I fall. In more than one way.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]33. Will let me dig my nails into his hand on the rollercoaster. And during childbirth. And at random times when I feel like injuring him slightly.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]34. Not preachy. Or pokey. (haha.) … (I genuinely can’t recall what I meant about the pokey thing anymore.)[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]35. Respects the fact that I don’t let anyone touch my feet, nor will I EVER touch his feet. And can deal with my cold feet under the covers. Because my feet do get very cold at night. Muahaha.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]36. Sends me random Bumper Stickers on Facebook.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]37. Willing to take tons and tons of silly photos with me.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]38. Willing to talk nerdy to me.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]39. Dimples.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]40. Small amounts of facial hair that I can play with that won’t scratch me to death when he kisses me.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]41. Non-invasive with the tongue. Seriously.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]42. Redefines love in a good way for me and reinforces my faith in it.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]43. Willing to get rid of bugs and other creepy creatures for me.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]44. Cute butt. No particular kind of butt, just… cute.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]45. Patient.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]46. Selfless enough not to walk on me.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]47. Gives good back massages when I throw my back out.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]48. Likes being tickled. My awesome tickling skills CAN’T go to waste.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]49. No facial piercings.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]50. Isn’t adverse to being lovey dovey.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]51. Willing to hold me while I sleep. Even if I’m just at his house napping, or if we are married in the future, that is the most comforting feeling in the world, and I don’t want to have to live without it in a relationship.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]52. Blows raspberries on my tummy.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]53. Dark hair that is worthy of finger-running-through-ness.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]54. Agrees to use Irish Spring soap.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]55. Thinks I look (and smell) tolerable even if I’ve been through hell and back.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]56. Genuinely cares when something has upset me, even if he thinks it’s something stupid or silly.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]57. Doesn’t have too much hair in his ears.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]58. Realizes that being rational when I feel like complaining is futile and often detrimental to my mood (and therefore his wellbeing, haha).[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]59. Has a good laugh. Genuine and unrestricted. Cute and unique.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]60. Likes the idea of playfully sharing ice cream cones and lollipops and such with me.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]61. Has no problem giving me a taste of whatever he’s eating and is open to trying what I’m eating, as well.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]62. Somehow knows how to trim hair well without being gay.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]63. Not a vampire or werewolf.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]64. Likes the fact that I freak out when people (such as him) push me too high on a swing set.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]65. Intuitive enough to know the perfect moments for a surprise kiss.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]66. Makes amusing comments during movies and TV shows without being too distracting (unless I want him to be, of course).[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]67. Confident enough for him to be able to learn to see himself the way I see him, but not arrogant or narcissistic.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]68. Protects me from ghosties and burglars.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]69. Doesn’t eat much meat, but loves food.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]70. Likes my cooking.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]71. Is willing to cook for himself at least sometimes.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]72. Not a cannibal, haha.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]73. Has 0g trans fat.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]74. Not from Arkansas, heehee.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]75. Is willing to clean the bathroom if we ever live together.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]76. Is a one woman man in every way and realizes that cheating is of the heart as well as the body.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]77. Knows how to make me laugh so hard that I can’t stop giggling.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]78. Is perfectly okay with the fact that I will always be an indoors girl.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]79. Is romantic and considerate enough to do such things as leave me little love notes on a post-it on my mirror and the like sometimes.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]80. Knows the right balance between making a woman feel sexy and making a woman feel beautiful. And realizes the stark differences between the two terms.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]81. Gives me butterflies every time he kisses me or even holds me.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]82. Smells good. Not necessarily talking about cologne—a sweaty man can smell just great. I am very scent-oriented, so melting every time I smell his scent is a good sign.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]83. Thinks that staying inside watching TV on the couch for a few hours is a great date.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]84. Willing to surprise me with a big date every once and a while, with or without reason.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]85. Comfortable with the fact that I don’t like to let guys I’m dating pay for me on dates.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]86. Keeps his word always, even about the small things.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]87. Has good lips that make you want to chew on them.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]88. Does not mind talking on the phone to me every once and a while if we don’t get to see each other at least once a week.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]89. Is a night owl like me.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]90. Cares, to some degree, about what my parents think of him and what his parents think of me.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]91. Is the kind of guy who will ask my parents for permission before proposing and then completely shock me when he pops the question.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]92. Laughs when I make a monster face out of his belly and bellybutton.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]93. Has a belly that I can make a monster face with.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]94. Can tell when I’m thinking about the kind of love that has little to do with sex.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]95. Is literate.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]96. Is willing to read the things I write because it is important to me.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]97. Doesn’t “kiss and tell.”[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]98. Talks to me every day.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]99. Knows when to be spontaneous and when to plan things.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]100. Doesn’t watch TV while he’s kissing me…[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]101. Believes that the whole “no sex before marriage” thing doesn’t always just apply to women.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]102. Is good at shopping with girls when we have to shop together but also understands that I hate shopping with guys present.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]103. Can handle the fact that I’m anal about making lists and killing germs.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]104. Doesn’t mind cutesy nicknames like “honey” and “darlin’.”[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]105. Knows what feminism ACTUALLY is (meaning he isn’t a Rush Limbaugh fan) and considers himself a feminist.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]106. Pretty eyes.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]107. Realizes that he’s lucky to have me and that I’m lucky to have him.[/FONT]
 [FONT=&quot]108. Realizes that he doesn’t have to be absolutely everything on this list to be perfect for me![/FONT]


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## Femme (Jul 12, 2009)

That's one thorough list, Sunshine. May the force be with you on your quest.


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## sunshine (Jul 18, 2009)

intpfemme said:


> That's one thorough list, Sunshine. May the force be with you on your quest.


Rofl, no worries, I don't actually want to FIND him. Like I said, it's kind of just a fantasy. :crazy:


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## Verdant Hollow (Aug 25, 2009)

Am I the only one here whose "list" gets thrown out the window when I find myself attracted to someone? Even Sunshine's #72 and #95 

I think the only necessary parts are:
- at least as smart as me (I don't mean simply pure IQ, a combination of raw smarts and emotional intelligence)
- I find them attractive

After that it's all about that mysterious "chemistry".

Even things like "is an N" aren't necessary I find, even if they help.


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## mrmatt (Aug 18, 2009)

sunshine said:


> Rofl, no worries, I don't actually want to FIND him. Like I said, it's kind of just a fantasy. :crazy:


aw damn :tongue: haha


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## sunshine (Jul 18, 2009)

mrmatt said:


> aw damn :tongue: haha


Oh, you're my perfect man, aren't you? Sucks for you! :tongue:


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## mrmatt (Aug 18, 2009)

sunshine said:


> Oh, you're my perfect man, aren't you? Sucks for you! :tongue:


rofl oh well


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## sunshine (Jul 18, 2009)

mrmatt said:


> rofl oh well


You're going to give me up just like that?! I'm so hurt! Oh, woe is me! :mellow:


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## jochris (Jul 18, 2009)

My ideal man would be someone very intelligent, whom I get along with superly, appreciates me for who I am and can have intellectual conversations with, as well as someone I will never get bored of.

I can make up a never-ending list of preferred traits, but at the end of the day those points will prevail far above everything else.


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## de l'eau salée (Nov 10, 2008)

I've come to realize that there are certain qualities that definitely in general attract me to a person, but the person's overall character is what matters the most, and it's almost impossible to say because it can vary. If I were to describe the two most important characteristics, though, I would choose compassion and open-mindedness. I would like someone who wouldn't judge me for who I am, but to accept me, flaws and all.


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## Nym (Sep 7, 2009)

Ten feet tall six feet wide sixty for tons of american pride........ wait that;s not my dream girl that's the canyonero Alright I'll try this again.
Can shoot concussive force blasts from her eyes, can control the weather, can teleport, heals at an accelerated rate..... damnit I did it again that's a list of super powers x-men posses
Kills men by the hundreds, and if she where here she'd consume the english with fire balls from her eyes and lightningbolts from her arse. Shit that's william wallace..... I suck at this.


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## Perseus (Mar 7, 2009)

*Partner for a Journey to the Stars (Enterprise)*

Is it Idealists NF that look for the perfect partner? It has never really occurred to me. 

The dating sites ask for this. I put down:

 *He describes his ideal match thus:*

Open minded and young at heart. Journalist-type or Graphic Designer type are preferred. 

I am not experienced with girlfriends. Once bitten, twice shy. Be yourself, but don't get distracted. 

Young at heart is crucial. But if you are too fast (Mustang), I will run a mile. Ghosts should be well hidden (invisible). 

A picture says a thousand words. More than one and in context is even better. 

A click and we can be friends. Need more for the Starship. 



If you want to find a HERO, go find Napoleon Bonaparte, it ain't me, no use talking to me about it. I am a human being. I know I feel more confident about appearing on television or public speaking in front of a hundred and fifty people than asking a girl for a date.


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

Blueguardian said:


> Hmm... potentially dangerous question for me. So I will give two answers. The possible and the Impossible.


Damn. Too bad for you I'm married. haha...

Oh, but I have only just decided to find out what my natural hair color is.


Okay, now for my list. *squeals with excitement* Oh, this is fun!!! Okay, I have to add the disclaimer: I, Bethany, know that I will never meet a guy who fully meets this description. I am okay with this. Quirky imperfections kind of make men more attractive. 

1. Intelligence - I like a guy who is on par with me. I like a guy who is capable of logical intelligence but who can throw it all out the window when I need to be held instead of hearing every possible solution that I have already thought of. (Sorry for the long and confusing sentence.)

2. Nerdiness, geekiness, whatever - the cornier, the better - especially if the corniness accompanies a bit of smirking.

3. Caring 

4. Protective - a guy who will answer honestly if I ask, "Is it okay for me to wear this?" "Is this too tight?" etc. etc. Yeah, a guy who cares if other guys are checking me out. I don't like those guys who want every other guy to check their girl out. They're full of themselves.

5. Okay, looks are thrown out of the window if a guy has a great personality. But generally I go for blonde hair, blue eyes, 5'6" or 5'7" (I have never been attracted to a tall man), and not a lot of muscles - pretty much a guy who looks a little nerdy. Glasses help too. I either like curly hair or something similar to one of those nerdy bowl cuts from the 90's. hahaha... Sometimes I like sideburns too. (I'm trying to get my husband to do the sideburns.) I'm not into any other kind of facial hair. Oh, and very hairy men are kind of gross too. And guys who sweat even when they're sitting in an air conditioned room are kind of gross too. (Not that they can help it, though. So now I feel bad for saying that.)

6. Good hygeine. I like guys who smell good.

7. A guy who won't give me strange looks if I want to wear my elf ears and go barefoot everywhere. (They look real!) :blushed:

8. INFJ, INFP, INTJ, or INTP

9. A guy who is not a fan of obnoxious people like Rosie O'Donnel and Rush Limbaugh.

10. Any guy whose voice gets softer when he speaks to me is really hot.

11. Any guy who sits in the corner reading a book is really hot.

12. A guy who doesn't think I'm crazy if I want to go for walks barefoot in the cemetery while it's raining (warmer rain) and who actually might want to come with me.

13. A guy who doesn't look at porn, doesn't lie, doesn't check out other girls, and doesn't watch shows with whorish women. This is the most important thing on this list, but I didn't want to say it first. I'm a very trusting person, but not if trusting you is stupid. It's stupid to believe that you really want me if you're doing any of the above. If I'm with a guy, he shouldn't want anyone else. I'm not the jealous type, but I am the easily hurt type.

14. Someone who wants to enjoy the outside world around him more than wanting to watch tv or be online.

15. Cooking together is on my list too! I have always wanted to do this.

16. Oh, I want to say something really nerdy here but now I'm not so sure. haha... Okay, so a one time trip to comicon (is that how it's spelled?) or a medieval fair would make the nerd in me squeal a little bit. Oh, but there are skankers at the first one. But what I really love is museums.

17. A guy who is generally very quiet and subdued. More than just a borderline introvert.

18. If he were absolutely perfect he would have celiac disease too so that we could be together forever in a gluten free home and I wouldn't have to worry about getting sick from kissing him if he just ate food with gluten in it.

19. Someone who is fairly obsessed with holding me.

20. Someone who will speak in MBTI and other personalityisms to me... Or who will at least understand when I speak in those terms to him. 

21. Someone who can see me - even if it's only just barely.

I'm sure I could think of a million more. But this is good enough. I know that no such guy REALLY exists in the world and I'm totally fine with what I have!

EDIT: I should add a guy that doesn't smoke or drink because both of them smell really yucky and I like a guy who smells good. Plus drunk people scare me.


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## HollyGolightly (Aug 8, 2009)

sunshine said:


> [FONT=&quot]My uber long list:
> 
> 1. Needs me to take care of him to some degree.[/FONT]
> [FONT=&quot]2. Will also take care of me to some degree (it doesn’t even have to be equally so, that’s just so it’s not completely one-sided).[/FONT]
> ...


 
Sunshine, I'm your perfect man! I can even grow sideburns for you :tongue:


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

HollyGolightly said:


> Sunshine, I'm your perfect man! I can even grow sideburns for you :tongue:


Gross Holly! You can grow sideburns?

ew...

Oh, wait. I can grow a unibrow.


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## HollyGolightly (Aug 8, 2009)

That's not all I can grow, you should see the ol' hairy curtian....
hahaha I joke, I joke


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

Physical Appearance - 

* I prefer brunettes, but hair colour is not important.
* Eye colour is not important, but the dark hair and light eyes combination (or vice versa) is quite attractive.
* Height isn't important, but as long as she isn't too much taller than me it's OK.
* Age isn't important, but she has to be at least 20. Being in my early to mid twenties, I think a teenage woman would be too young for me, personally.
* Weight is not important, as long as she is healthy. I prefer average women over really skinny or really fat women.
* I don't care about breast size, it doesn't affect how attractive a woman is.
* I don't care about skin colour.

Personality - 

* I would prefer her to be able to have intelligent conversations with me, and a woman who reads is a very attractive woman in my opinion.
* I don't like submissive/subservient women. I'm sorry, but if you're a housewifey type, or you like looking after your partners, I'm just not going to want a relationship with you. I want a girlfriend, not a mother. I prefer equality in relationships.
* I don't mind if she's a girly woman or a tomboy, as long as she isn't an extreme type of either.
*Doesn't smoke, or if she does, keeps it outside and away from me. I don't mind people smoking, but I do mind people smoking near me inside.
* Understands my introversion. Ideally, this would mean her herself being an I type.
* I would prefer it if she was a more liberal minded or progressive person. This doesn't mean that I wouldn't be attracted to a conservative woman, but I would prefer it if she had views close to my own.


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## HollyGolightly (Aug 8, 2009)

I really don't care about physical appaerance, that's never really been what I'm attracted to. I've always been attracted to someone's mind. If they can keep me enagaged, laugh with me and make me feel whole than I'm more than happy. Loyalty is important to me as I'm very loyal myself. But that's probably my only demand, that they are fiercely loyal. That's very attractive to me


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## Jack Rabid (Aug 6, 2009)

I think it's better to go into a relationship with no expectations.. 

I like to learn about this person.. grow with them.. and maybe even find a quality I hadn't considered..

If you go into a relationship with preconceived notions.. I believe this relationship will be doomed to failure because people are who they are.. not who you want them to be..


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## HollyGolightly (Aug 8, 2009)

Jack Rabid said:


> I think it's better to go into a relationship with no expectations..
> 
> I like to learn about this person.. grow with them.. and maybe even find a quality I hadn't considered..
> 
> If you go into a relationship with preconceived notions.. I believe this relationship will be doomed to failure because people are who they are.. not who you want them to be..


Agreed :happy:


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## de l'eau salée (Nov 10, 2008)

I like compassion, kindness, tactful honesty, open-mindedness, friendliness, silliness, imaginative-ness, gentleness, and someone who looooves to hug and snuggle. 

The list goes on, but those are some characteristics I am generally veryyy attracted to.


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## Hirsute Snugglebeast (Sep 14, 2009)

Irulan said:


> Irulan's list


Huh... If I were three inches shorter, had a celiac disease and didn't look at porn, I'd fit most of those... Spooky!

As for me, I don't really know what I would want from my partner in a relationship, barring the obvious things (similar religious beliefs, similar levels of intelligence, etc). As for what I don't want in a partner, its passive aggressiveness. When a woman starts talking to me about her friends behind their backs, that's when I realize I don't want a relationship with the woman.


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## InvisibleJim (Jun 30, 2009)

There is no such thing as a perfect man/woman. Expecting this is merely greed and unrealistic of a partner. Life is about accepting the ups and downs and the bad and goods and helping others grow into even better individuals through respect, love and companionship.


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

Hirsute Snugglebeast said:


> Huh... If I were three inches shorter, had a celiac disease and didn't look at porn, I'd fit most of those... Spooky!


The last one kills the rest.


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

InvisibleJim said:


> There is no such thing as a perfect man/woman. Expecting this is merely greed and unrealistic of a partner. Life is about accepting the ups and downs and the bad and goods and helping others grow into even better individuals through respect, love and companionship.


Oh, silly.

We all know this. We are just saying that if our heads were really completely in the clouds this is what we would want.  There's only one thing on my list that's truly necessary for my happiness.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

de l'eau salée said:


> I like compassion, kindness, tactful honesty, open-mindedness, friendliness, silliness, imaginative-ness, gentleness, and someone who looooves to hug and snuggle.
> 
> The list goes on, but those are some characteristics I am generally veryyy attracted to.


We're totally competing for the same men. Haha. You rock.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

Irulan said:


> Damn. Too bad for you I'm married. haha...
> 
> Oh, but I have only just decided to find out what my natural hair color is.
> 
> ...


Why can't I find a girl like you? All I have access to is pretty much ESF's, that and six-year olds. I tell lies, but it's mostly for pragmatic reasons that aren't about hurting people. Is that okay? Am I allowed to watch porn if I am away from you for days on end? What if I do it and am single?


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## Fanille (Sep 3, 2009)

Irulan said:


> Oh, silly.
> 
> We all know this. We are just saying that if our heads were really completely in the clouds this is what we would want.  There's only one thing on my list that's truly necessary for my happiness.


And if my head were really completely in the clouds I would want 16 different women, all with different characteristics. :tongue:


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## sunshine (Jul 18, 2009)

InvisibleJim said:


> There is no such thing as a perfect man/woman. Expecting this is merely greed and unrealistic of a partner. Life is about accepting the ups and downs and the bad and goods and helping others grow into even better individuals through respect, love and companionship.


This thread is just for fun, my dear. :tongue:


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## Hirsute Snugglebeast (Sep 14, 2009)

Irulan said:


> The last one kills the rest.


Interesting. Do you mean it kills my ability to be your ideal, perfect man or that it would, hypothetically, kill any chance of you having a stable relationship with me at all?


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

Hirsute Snugglebeast said:


> Interesting. Do you mean it kills my ability to be your ideal, perfect man or that it would, hypothetically, kill any chance of you having a stable relationship with me at all?


Even if you meet all of the other ideals, they all seem fake if you want other people too. It would just be really difficult for me to handle. When I'm in a relationship I give everything to the other person and he is the only one I see. It kills to see a guy checking out other girls - especially like that. Might as well tell me I'm not good enough. That's all.


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

mortabunt said:


> Why can't I find a girl like you? All I have access to is pretty much ESF's, that and six-year olds. I tell lies, but it's mostly for pragmatic reasons that aren't about hurting people. Is that okay? Am I allowed to watch porn if I am away from you for days on end? What if I do it and am single?


Here's what happens... Girls in porn usually have fake boobs and know exactly how to position themselves in front of a camera to make you the most turned on. Real girls aren't like that, and you're going to notice that once you get into a relationship with a girl - even if she's very attractive and likes to have sex a lot. No matter how easy you think it would be to give up porn once you are in a relationship, it's not as easy as you think. Really. I know everyone is different, so hey, it might be a little easier for you. But I wouldn't risk it. But hey, some girls don't mind that kind of thing...

Honestly, to me it's really serious. You're all going to think I'm crazy. A guy who has an alcohol addiction and goes out and gets drunk then comes home and beats his girlfriend/wife/whatever is, in my opinion, comparable to a guy who has a porn addiction and looks at it secretly and beats up his girlfriend/wife/whatever's heart when she finds it. I can't handle it personally. Some girls don't mind. Who knows, maybe there's a girl out there who is like me in most aspects but not in this one. You never know.


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## Hirsute Snugglebeast (Sep 14, 2009)

Irulan said:


> Even if you meet all of the other ideals, they all seem fake if you want other people too. It would just be really difficult for me to handle. When I'm in a relationship I give everything to the other person and he is the only one I see. It kills to see a guy checking out other girls - especially like that. Might as well tell me I'm not good enough. That's all.


Thank you for your honesty.

Though... I'm sorry, dear, but I really am curious as to why a certain masturbational habit is such a dealbreaker for you. I must ask: can a man elope with a pornographic picture or video? Can a man become so attached to the fake, airbrushed figures he masturbates to that he would forget the person who loves him most in the world? 

...and for that matter, why are you possessed of the strange notion that the only course of action for a drunken man towards his family is domestic violence?

If I make you think that I think you're crazy, forgive me. I just really want to know why.


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

Hirsute Snugglebeast said:


> Thank you for your honesty.
> 
> Though... I'm sorry, dear, but I really am curious as to why a certain masturbational habit is such a dealbreaker for you. I must ask: can a man elope with a pornographic picture or video? Can a man become so attached to the fake, airbrushed figures he masturbates to that he would forget the person who loves him most in the world?
> 
> ...


You mistook my statement about the drunk man. I'm saying that a guy who does get drunk and has domestic abuse problems because of it is comparable in my mind. I'm not saying that all men who get drunk have issues of domestic abuse.

And yes, it can make him forget and not appreciate that person at all.

Please don't ask me more questions about this. I can't handle this conversation any more. Sorry.


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## Hirsute Snugglebeast (Sep 14, 2009)

Irulan said:


> You mistook my statement about the drunk man. I'm saying that a guy who does get drunk and has domestic abuse problems because of it is comparable in my mind. I'm not saying that all men who get drunk have issues of domestic abuse.
> 
> And yes, it can make him forget and not appreciate that person at all.
> 
> Please don't ask me more questions about this. I can't handle this conversation any more. Sorry.


I stand corrected. Well I won't ask any more questions, but I will leave you with this: Pornography is cheap masturbational fodder used to satisfy a biological need. A person would have to be a complete and total _mouthbreather_ to think that this fodder would make an acceptable substitute for the person he loves and whom he knows loves him back.


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

Hirsute Snugglebeast said:


> I stand corrected. Well I won't ask any more questions, but I will leave you with this: Pornography is cheap masturbational fodder used to satisfy a biological need. A person would have to be a complete and total _mouthbreather_ to think that this fodder would make an acceptable substitute for the person he loves and whom he knows loves him back.


Why can't guys (who are with a girl, at least) satisfy that need with the girl they're with?

I know. I said I didn't want to talk about it anymore. My emotions went away for a moment and I had guts to ask the question.


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## Hirsute Snugglebeast (Sep 14, 2009)

Irulan said:


> Why can't guys (who are with a girl, at least) satisfy that need with the girl they're with?
> 
> I know. I said I didn't want to talk about it anymore. My emotions went away for a moment and I had guts to ask the question.


First, allow me to compliment you on your bravery! Thank you for allowing me to persist in defending porn-watchers everywhere! :laughing:

To answer your question, because a person's significant other can't be around all the time. If I had a hypothetical girlfriend and called her up every time I was feeling horny, she would probably murder me. Some men have a firm enough control on their sexual desires that they can go days or even weeks without masturbating, saving themselves for the women they love. 

I am not such a man, and so, when I am in the mood, I masturbate. Sometimes, when my imagination is lacking, I look at pornography. If I looked at pornography while I was with this hypothetical girlfriend, would I be cheating on her? No. Of course not. I'm an INFP and I and other men of my type are known for our active imaginations, but I am smart enough to distinguish between reality and fantasy. When I have relieved myself I am done. The porn goes away and I return to whatever I was doing beforehand. I don't feel the need to pursue the women in my porn. I don't lose any amount of faith or trust or love in my hypothetical girlfriend. I have simply satisfied an urge. If I am hungry, I eat. If I am thirsty, I drink. If I am aroused, I masturbate. 

I'm not doing it to harm my girlfriend, or because I find her lacking sexually or because I do not love her. Even without a girlfriend, masturbating to pornography has not cheapened the relationships I so cherish with my female friends. I understand that porn creates false expectations, but I am still a stable, intelligent individual, and I know not to expect my female friends to conform to those expectations.

Man, that was rambly. But do you see now? Masturbation is, in essence, sex without love. There is no emotional investment, no love, no companionship, no nothing of the kind. None of the things that I would hopefully find in a stable, healthy relationship.


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

huh...
Yeah, I've heard a lot of that before in my short little 25 years on this earth...
Well, whatever...
I'm not emotional right now, but I just don't have anything else to say about the issue.

And now, since I had that in my list, I feel like I ruined the cuteness of this thread. Sorry Sunshine!

Maybe some excessive smiley faces will fix it...

:laughing::blushed::tongue::laughing::happy::dry:


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## Hirsute Snugglebeast (Sep 14, 2009)

I understand if you don't want to talk about this anymore, and I apologize for derailing the thread for an entire page, but I want you to know that I'm disappointed that you wouldn't give a man a fair shake for an admittedly pitiable but otherwise normal behavior.


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## Lucretius (Sep 10, 2009)

I'm inclined to side with Hirsute on this one...
I don't see how this activity hurts anyone, really.


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

Azrael said:


> I'm inclined to side with Hirsute on this one...
> I don't see how this activity hurts anyone, really.


It hurts me, sorry.

And Hirsute, I would if the guy were willing to try to kick the habit. I would even be willing to help the guy kick the habit. What really gets me is a guy who lies about it, or if a guy I were with were to think it was okay even when it kills me inside.


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## Lucretius (Sep 10, 2009)

Irulan said:


> It hurts me, sorry.
> 
> And Hirsute, I would if the guy were willing to try to kick the habit. I would even be willing to help the guy kick the habit. What really gets me is a guy who lies about it, or if a guy I were with were to think it was okay even when it kills me inside.


Contingent on this comment, I withdraw my statement.

I didn't read the whole thread so I may have missed your points. But, if this activity causes emotional harm to to one's significant other, both parties should make every effort to make it stop.


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

Azrael said:


> Contingent on this comment, I withdraw my statement.
> 
> I didn't read the whole thread so I may have missed your points. But, if this activity causes emotional harm to to one's significant other, both parties should make every effort to make it stop.


I may not have been completely clear though. I didn't exactly expect that one part of my list to turn into such a big discussion. It caught me by surprise and it's not exactly a topic I feel comfortable discussing. I get a little confused and tipsy-ish when that happens.


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## Lucretius (Sep 10, 2009)

Irulan said:


> I may not have been completely clear though. I didn't exactly expect that one part of my list to turn into such a big discussion. It caught me by surprise and it's not exactly a topic I feel comfortable discussing. I get a little confused and tipsy-ish when that happens.


I'm sorry if it's an uncomfortable or emotional topic for you. I didn't mean to offend you or anything. I'm sorry. :blushed:


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

Azrael said:


> I'm sorry if it's an uncomfortable or emotional topic for you. I didn't mean to offend you or anything. I'm sorry. :blushed:


Oh no! You didn't! It was just unexpected that so many people responded to that one point and it threw me off a little. I said more than I wanted to say... but maybe being real with people is good for me. roud:


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## Hirsute Snugglebeast (Sep 14, 2009)

Irulan said:


> And Hirsute, I would if the guy were willing to try to kick the habit. I would even be willing to help the guy kick the habit. What really gets me is a guy who lies about it, or if a guy I were with were to think it was okay even when it kills me inside.


At the other side of the coin, if my partner knew I masturbated to pornography and felt the same way you do about it, then I would be doing exactly as I'm doing with you now: trying to explain my point of view and trying to show her that my... "habits" aren't devaluing our relationship and that I don't love her any less. If she still didn't trust me, or if I felt she still didn't understand that I wasn't trying to hurt her by doing it, then I , too, would have to end the relationship. 

...funny. I guess you and I wouldn't be such a good match after all!:laughing:


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## martin (Aug 4, 2009)

Supposedly, when it comes to sexual arousal, men react mostly to visual stimulation while for women their emotional state at the time and certain personality traits being displayed by their interest matter more. If this is the case, can men watching porn be compared to women reading romance novels or watching so-called chick flicks? Evidently (and in my mind perfectly reasonably), some (perhaps most?) women dislike it when, in a relationship, their man watches porn, because it makes them feel inadequate. Supposing that the above comparison of porn to romance novels is valid, do or should men dislike it when their woman reads romance novels?

(Sorry if this further derails this thread, maybe I should have started a separate one. If a moderator sees the need to and can split this into a new thread, please go ahead. )


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

martin said:


> Supposedly, when it comes to sexual arousal, men react mostly to visual stimulation while for women their emotional state at the time and certain personality traits being displayed by their interest matter more. If this is the case, can men watching porn be compared to women reading romance novels or watching so-called chick flicks? Evidently (and in my mind perfectly reasonably), some (perhaps most?) women dislike it when, in a relationship, their man watches porn, because it makes them feel inadequate. Supposing that the above comparison of porn to romance novels is valid, do or should men dislike it when their woman reads romance novels?
> 
> (Sorry if this further derails this thread, maybe I should have started a separate one. If a moderator sees the need to and can split this into a new thread, please go ahead. )


I think the two are comparable as long as the romance novel is sexual in nature. I would not consider novelists such as Jane Austen to cause such an issue, for example.


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## Femme (Jul 12, 2009)

@Irulan: Er, as a rather huge fan of romance novels... I would have to say that most, if not all, contemporary versions do include sex scenes. Come to think of it, majority of novels (of _any_ genre) include sex scenes.

Does this thereby prohibit you from reading any novel (ie those written after the 19th century*) during a relationship?



*Of course, there have been plenty of books well versed in erotica long before the 19th century...


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

intpfemme said:


> @Irulan: Er, as a rather huge fan of romance novels... I would have to say that most, if not all, contemporary versions do include sex scenes. Come to think of it, majority of novels (of _any_ genre) include sex scenes.
> 
> Does this thereby prohibit you from reading any novel (ie those written after the 19th century*) during a relationship?
> 
> ...


I suppose there was a point that I did not consider. My favorite science fiction series is the Dune series, and there are definitely a few sex scenes in that. (It's not a romance novel, so it didn't enter my mind.) I read 1984 this summer, and that has a few very strange scenes.

I suppose that if a person is extremely aroused while reading it is where the difference lies.

But this is only my opinion and I admit to being more conservative than most in this area due to my sensitivities. If I can't handle a guy who looks at porn (and since most probably do), then I, in turn, need to be careful about what I watch and read as well.


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## Lilsnowy (Sep 9, 2009)

Don't worry. I was attracted to darker types too and different races even, but my husband is blonde and I liked him because he was different from others. My family's dark and his is blonde. Sometimes where you live can have an affect also. If you live in an area that's predominantly dark, your blonde hair will stand out. 

I think we marry out of our physical type preference because we find other qualities make the person so attractive we can't live without them. I know there's a woman who, if she's like me, will eventually tell you she loved you before you even met because she dreamed about a man just like you. You INTPs are irresistible because you have a calming effect on women (at least us ENFPs) and cool, calm and collected is intriguing and magnetic!


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## LeelooDallas (Sep 15, 2009)

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> I whs more chicks took your stnace. Us blond guys don't have much of a chance. I'm nothing speical to look at anyways, and the fact that woman usually find dark hair more attractive than light hair is highly damaging to my chances.


yeah i was never really into blonds or fair skinned dudes, until i met my current boyfriend.compared to my past bf's he's pretty much an albino :crazy: 

the point is, i wouldnt let something like your hair color hold you back.


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## Linesky (Dec 10, 2008)

Do you guys do this for fun or are you really That picky?
Would you *dump* someone you really love and respect over their hairstyle? Lol. 
Love and attraction and connection does not originate out of perfection, because there is no such thing as the perfect partner (and you're not so perfect yourself), but there is such a thing as meeting someone that is good enough for you.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

All I know from this thread is that if I want a relationship, I have to wait for the girls around me to change.


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## Lilsnowy (Sep 9, 2009)

There's nothing wrong with having a preference. Nothing! It's not shallow; it's not something you can help. But it would be shallow to dump or ignore anyone because they don't meet a limited criteria. And hopefully most of us aren't that shallow.


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

Honestly, I have always been attracted to blonde guys. The blonder, the more attracted I am. 
I'm, like, the only girl in this area who is not attracted to this guy that lives out here who is tall, dark, handsome, and was listed as a top bachelor in one of these major magazines. I'm probably the only one who acts normal around him. haha...
I'll have to get my husband to use some sun-in. lol


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## ginz (Sep 30, 2009)

Physically, this:








cept they dont really exist 

ill get on the other parts when im not as sleeeepy .... >.<

edit:

characterwise:
wild, yet able to enjoy private moments
unpredictably predictable
always looking forward, 
-lost in lalaland-



sigh, the girl i like, she simply doesnt exist T,T


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## Lilsnowy (Sep 9, 2009)

Wow. That's cool.


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## ginz (Sep 30, 2009)

just too bad that she's too good to be real /( T,T )\


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## sunshine (Jul 18, 2009)

ginz said:


> Physically, this:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Haha, I'm totally your opposite. :crazy:


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## ginz (Sep 30, 2009)

sunshine said:


> Haha, I'm totally your opposite. :crazy:


:crazy:

oh yeah. i forgots. time fer the personality part.


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## sunshine (Jul 18, 2009)

ginz said:


> :crazy:
> 
> oh yeah. i forgots. time fer the personality part.


Psh, personality? Who has one of those thingies? :tongue:


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## ginz (Sep 30, 2009)

sunshine said:


> Psh, personality? Who has one of those thingies? :tongue:


hm, i got mine in the dumpster.  (no really, you could find all sorta stuff there, even a rat who can control you just by pullin some hairs)


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## sunshine (Jul 18, 2009)

ginz said:


> hm, i got mine in the dumpster.  (no really, you could find all sorta stuff there, even a rat who can control you just by pullin some hairs)


I LOVE RATATOUILLE!

And so as not to derail... My perfect man would also be required to love Ratatouille. Yes. >_>


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## ginz (Sep 30, 2009)

the rat pwns. that just added one more to my list though D;. 
some girls just... pretend to not like cartoons or plain dislike toons, even though its good to feel young sometimes ):


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

Irulan said:


> 1. Intelligence - I like a guy who is on par with me. I like a guy who is capable of logical intelligence but who can throw it all out the window when I need to be held instead of hearing every possible solution that I have already thought of. (Sorry for the long and confusing sentence.)
> 
> 2. Nerdiness, geekiness, whatever - the cornier, the better - especially if the corniness accompanies a bit of smirking.
> 
> ...


All of these from your list should also be on mine, with the bolded one being the most important. Using porn or getting sexually excited by other women is a form of infidelity, and is extremely hurtful to me.


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

ginz said:


> the rat pwns. that just added one more to my list though D;.
> some girls just... pretend to not like cartoons or plain dislike toons, even though its good to feel young sometimes ):


I don't like cartoons. I don't think I've ever _really _liked them, even when I was younger. When I was little I liked things like The Neverending Story, The Dark Crystal, The Navigator - things that are childlike versions of what I like now. Television shows were kids shows but with real people. I've never felt young with a cartoon. I like things that look realistic but aren't really. Cartoons are too obviously not realistic, I think. I like to at least momentarily make myself believe it's possible for science fiction to exist. hmm... Is this a negative trait in your book? Interesting, if so. :crazy:


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

snail said:


> All of these from your list should also be on mine, with the bolded one being the most important. Using porn or getting sexually excited by other women is a form of infidelity.


Thank you snail. I really appreciate that I'm not the only one in the world who feels this way.


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## sunshine (Jul 18, 2009)

ginz said:


> the rat pwns. that just added one more to my list though D;.
> some girls just... pretend to not like cartoons or plain dislike toons, even though its good to feel young sometimes ):


That's insane, dude! Of course, I work at an elementary school, so I might be more child-like than some of my more serious female peers... :crazy:


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

Rouge said:


> My "shopping list":
> 
> - Someone intellectual: a person who's curious about the world and lives in the world of ideas as I do
> - A similar sense of humour (dry and sarcastic)
> ...


This is a good list over all - similar to what I'd write. Except for height, which I am pretty flexible on. At 5'8 and in an area where that's average for men, I cannot demand someone taller than me in 4" heels. I'd be happy for taller than me in flat feet, and even then, it's not that important.




Irulan said:


> Honestly, I have always been attracted to blonde guys. The blonder, the more attracted I am.


I DIE over good looking blond guys. It's my ideal. After that, curly light brown hair. It's really not any part of my serious criteria though.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

snail said:


> All of these from your list should also be on mine, with the bolded one being the most important. Using porn or getting sexually excited by other women is a form of infidelity, and is extremely hurtful to me.


 What if your boyfriend used porn that the two of you acted in together?
I'd think that would be a very sweet gesture.


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> What if your boyfriend used porn that the two of you acted in together?
> I'd think that would be a very sweet gesture.


Ugh

Look at what I started.

I think it would be even more painful to have to _watch_ him look at other girls. Might as well stab me in the heart.


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

Or did you mean what if he watched home videos of the two of you?

haha

Wasn't sure which you were asking.

Although personally, I like sex. And I prefer to get some too. So if the guy can wait a couple more hours 'til he sees me, that's much better.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

I'd be much to insecure to videotape myself having sex. It would make me too image-conscious to enjoy the act, so it really would be acting rather than making love. Hypothetically, though, it would be somewhat better than if he looked at porn of other women. It still has the potential to be used for objectification, but might create emotional associations instead, which would be acceptable. It's still worshiping the image rather than the reality, like when people pray to statues that are designed to represent Jesus instead of just praying to Jesus directly. It's a soft form of idolatry. I'd rather he just have sex with me when he wants it. If I'm on my period, I can still enjoy giving oral sex. If I'm away from him for some reason, he can still fantasize about me.


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## ginz (Sep 30, 2009)

Irulan said:


> I don't like cartoons. I don't think I've ever _really _liked them, even when I was younger. When I was little I liked things like The Neverending Story, The Dark Crystal, The Navigator - things that are childlike versions of what I like now. Television shows were kids shows but with real people. I've never felt young with a cartoon. I like things that look realistic but aren't really. Cartoons are too obviously not realistic, I think. I like to at least momentarily make myself believe it's possible for science fiction to exist. hmm... Is this a negative trait in your book? Interesting, if so. :crazy:


doubt it'd be a negative trait, since cartoon itself doesnt necessarily be the only way to feel young. ;p


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

ginz said:


> doubt it'd be a negative trait, since cartoon itself doesnt necessarily be the only way to feel young. ;p


Yes, I like to jump in puddles barefoot.


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## ginz (Sep 30, 2009)

irulan said:


> yes, i like to jump in puddles barefoot.


lol PUDDLE JUMPING BE FUN! 8D


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

Very fun. I am looking to change my avatar to one that indicates this. I'm just not feeling like finding the picture right now. haha
:laughing:


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## vt1099ace (Jun 8, 2009)

sunshine said:


> (There is no such thing as "perfect," I know; don't turn this into a debate, please. :tongue
> 
> I'm kind of curious if I'm weird by doing this... A few months ago, I made a list of qualities that my "ideal man" would have. It's almost entirely personality-based (I added in a line about being "able to grow sideburns" ), and it's a combination of things I find attractive and reparations of things that have been issues in past relationships or that I think could be issues in future ones. A guy doesn't have to have most of them for us to date, of course; it's just a way of decided which guys I stand a better chance of having a good relationship with. And it's also sort of a fantasy, haha. We all have a mental list of ideal qualities, I'm sure, but I feel like only someone like me would write them all down. :tongue: So do any of you have a written list like that? (If you do, I'll totally post mine. I just want to make sure I'm not alone, haha.)


there is no such thing as a 'perfect x'...
never has been, never will be...
the best one can find is someoone that fit your established parameters within -/+ an acceptable degree of tolerance....

there, does that sound like an ISTP 'the mechanic' :tongue:


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## sunshine (Jul 18, 2009)

vt1099ace said:


> there is no such thing as a 'perfect x'...
> never has been, never will be...
> the best one can find is someoone that fit your established parameters within -/+ an acceptable degree of tolerance....
> 
> there, does that sound like an ISTP 'the mechanic' :tongue:


I'm pretty sure almost everybody in this thread has missed its entire point of it... :tongue:


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## vt1099ace (Jun 8, 2009)

sunshine said:


> I'm pretty sure almost everybody in this thread has missed its entire point of it... :tongue:


:laughing: 
reading through people's lists, those are some high standards folks have set to meet.

I guess that's why I'm still single...I don't have a list. or set parameters, and my tolerance for individual foibles (personality quirks) is pretty high since I have quite a few of my own. So, how can I seek perfection in another if I'm far from perfect myself?....all I ask is do we get along? everything else will work itself out.


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

vt1099ace said:


> :laughing:
> reading through people's lists, those are some high standards folks have set to meet.
> 
> I guess that's why I'm still single...I don't have a list. or set parameters, and my tolerance for individual foibles (personality quirks) is pretty high since I have quite a few of my own. So, how can I seek perfection in another if I'm far from perfect myself?....all I ask is do we get along? everything else will work itself out.


Hey silly!

We all know we're not _really_ going to meet those high standards. Those are just hypothetical lists. If we lived in a perfect world, that is what we would want! I'm sure I could add a lot more to my list too! We're all very aware that we will never find someone perfect.
:crazy:

My husband is an ISTP too.


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## ginz (Sep 30, 2009)

Irulan said:


> Very fun. I am looking to change my avatar to one that indicates this. I'm just not feeling like finding the picture right now. haha
> :laughing:



lol that pic just looks like " _I m singing in the rainnnn , im singing in the raaaain! "

_


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## vt1099ace (Jun 8, 2009)

Irulan said:


> Hey silly!
> 
> We all know we're not _really_ going to meet those high standards. Those are just hypothetical lists. If we lived in a perfect world, that is what we would want! I'm sure I could add a lot more to my list too! We're all very aware that we will never find someone perfect.
> :crazy:
> ...


hmmm, maybe I _should_ make a list then too?
"hypothetically" ofcourse. :tongue:
ah well, in this hunt, it's not baggingthe prey that matters, but the pursuit that's the most fun.:laughing:


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## Aßbiscuits (Oct 8, 2009)

Infj.

I love infjs.

They're my perfect matches, I don't care how much they varie I always love them =]


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## justjessie (Oct 7, 2009)

i want a guy who is into real love. willing to take it slow. funny. KIND HEARTED. not afraid to be odd and can feed my inner weirdo. will bake with me. will make fun of me. will tell me when i'm worng. noncomplacent. thats all i've got right now. oh yes and spiritual. someone who sees the deeper meaning of life, but isn't stuck there all the time. and probably a whole bunch of other stuff. likes to cuddle. add that in there. ....yup


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

Thanks! I was beginning to think I was the only INFJ who enjoys being made fun of. lol


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## ginz (Sep 30, 2009)

justjessie said:


> i want a guy who is into real love. willing to take it slow. funny. KIND HEARTED. not afraid to be odd and can feed my inner weirdo. will bake with me. will make fun of me. will tell me when i'm worng. noncomplacent. thats all i've got right now. oh yes and spiritual. someone who sees the deeper meaning of life, but isn't stuck there all the time. and probably a whole bunch of other stuff. likes to cuddle. add that in there. ....yup



say, what do you usually bake?


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## justjessie (Oct 7, 2009)

ginz said:


> say, what do you usually bake?


Anything! but i think cakes are the most fun when you're baking with somene else.


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## sunshine (Jul 18, 2009)

justjessie said:


> Anything! but i think cakes are the most fun when you're baking with somene else.


That's so true. roud:

The other day my boyfriend-ish (or "boyfrish," for short  came over for dinner, and he just stood around talking while I cooked, and halfway through cooking he realized he wasn't doing anything and said, "I love how helpful I'm being!" It was really funny. :crazy:


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## justjessie (Oct 7, 2009)

sunshine said:


> That's so true. roud:
> 
> The other day my boyfriend-ish (or "boyfrish," for short  came over for dinner, and he just stood around talking while I cooked, and halfway through cooking he realized he wasn't doing anything and said, "I love how helpful I'm being!" It was really funny. :crazy:


love those cute moments


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## vt1099ace (Jun 8, 2009)

sunshine said:


> That's so true. roud:
> 
> The other day my boyfriend-ish (or "boyfrish," for short  came over for dinner, and he just stood around talking while I cooked, and halfway through cooking he realized he wasn't doing anything and said, "I love how helpful I'm being!" It was really funny. :crazy:


gee, if I'm not 'helpful' with the cooking, I don't eat...oh wait, if I don't cook I don't eat, comes with being SINGLE and not finding the perfect (or at least tolerable :tongue woman. 
ROf:laughing:

hmr, I gotz it...


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## HollyGolightly (Aug 8, 2009)

The perfect man/woman doesn't exist.
But the perfect INFJ does *points to self*
:tongue:


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

I'd rather like a woman like you Holly. Your problems only make you more interesting.


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## HollyGolightly (Aug 8, 2009)

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> I'd rather like a woman like you Holly. Your problems only make you more interesting.


You have excellent taste. Not that I'm biased or anything :tongue:


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## ginz (Sep 30, 2009)

justjessie said:


> Anything! but i think cakes are the most fun when you're baking with somene else.


ooo, GIMME PICTURES 8D!



ginz said:


> Physically, this:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


kay, maybe nt. 
Character wise: like Laura. ;D


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## HollyGolightly (Aug 8, 2009)

nawww ginz you are sweet :happy:


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## ginz (Sep 30, 2009)

yeah, and all i need now be some spice, everything nice, and chemical X .

>)


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## MyName (Oct 23, 2009)

Kind of. I guess it would be stuff like this-

Similiar Values/Worldview
Big sex drive
not controlling, wants space and lets me have it.
calm
easy to talk to, brings me out of myself
Good communication
Someone who would make me a better person morally
Respects me as a "man"

And, just for fun...

Physical traits-
Long brunette hair
blue/green eyes
shorter than me(other then that I don't care about height)
toned abs/bottom
busty *is embarassed*

This is what my future wife would be like in an absolutely perfect world. But the world is not absolutely perfect, as most of you know.


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## InvisibleJim (Jun 30, 2009)

We have discussed this on ventrilo the past two days and it seems 5w6's agree.

The perfect man/woman fits into ones personal space without disrupting it as a perfect fit; emotionally, physically and in actions. The rest is actually immaterial.

In effect we feel so disrupted by others that we want our clones. :tongue:


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## Moon Pix (Sep 19, 2009)

In _Good Will Hunting _Robin Williams defined soulmate as being "someone that challenges you." I guess thats it really. Somebody who can hold their own in an intelligent conversation is always a plus as is somebody who hasnt bought into the designer culture wholesale. The "you are the jeans you wear" school of thinking in my opinion has really done a lot of damage to my generation and thats why Im not all that hopeful of actually meeting anybody. This is also the reason that Im so sure that when I do meet her she ain't getting away easily.

It always nice to meet somebody that can fucking think.


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## Tkae (Oct 15, 2009)

Strong, understanding, someone who keeps me anchored when I feel flighty.


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## Kuja (Oct 16, 2009)

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be: 

1. a friend 
2. a companion 
3. a lover 
4. a brother 
5. a father 
6. a master 
7. a chef 
8. an electrician 
9. a carpenter 
10. a plumber 

11. a mechanic 
12. a decorator 
13. a stylist 
14. a sexologist 
15. a gynecologist 
16. a psychologist 
17. a pest exterminator 
18. a psychiatrist 
19. a healer 
20. a good listener 
21. an organizer 
22. a good father 
23. very clean 
24. sympathetic 
25. athletic 
26. warm 
27. attentive 
28. gallant 
29. intelligent 
30. funny 
31. creative 
32. tender 
33. strong 
34. understanding 
35. tolerant 
36. prudent 
37. ambitious 
38. capable 
39. courageous 
40. determined 
41. true 
42. dependable 
43. passionate 
44. compassionate 

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO: 

45. give her compliments regularly 
46. love shopping 
47. be honest 
48. be very rich 
49. not stress her out 
50. not look at other girls 

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO: 

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself 
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself 
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes 
54. Never to forget: 

# birthdays 

# anniversaries 

# arrangements she makes. 

Easy! :laughing:

And no, I did not write this.


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## Tkae (Oct 15, 2009)

Kuja said:


> It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
> 
> 1. a friend
> 2. a companion
> ...


2 comments:

1.) That's why I'm not all that interested in women

2.) The hell?



> 4. a brother
> 5. a father


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## susurration (Oct 22, 2009)

Whatever they are. Period.


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## Femme (Jul 12, 2009)

Kuja said:


> It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
> 
> 1. a friend
> 2. a companion
> ...


I believe you left out one vital attribute:

55. a masseur

If he doesn't possess the hands of a god, he's out.


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## HollyGolightly (Aug 8, 2009)

I just want them to be able to cook if I'm completely honest.
The way to Holly's heart is through her stomach...yuumm.


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## Drake (Oct 31, 2009)

When I was younger my list for the perfect woman was short. 
1. Pulse
2. willing
3. old enough

As I got older I started to value other qualities as well

1. Intelligence
2. Patience ( I have little)
3. Compassion (yep little there as well)
4. Open mind

Luckily I found her, and so much more with my wife ( yes i am madly in love )


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## Kuja (Oct 16, 2009)

On a more serious note...

I suppose it's allowed to be picky here since we're describing the "perfect" man/woman , actually that means we have to be picky!

Here's a few qualities I can think of (trying to leave out the obvious). 

- Introvert
- Somewhat anti-social, but not socially retarded. 
- Doesn't take things too seriously
- Laid back, easy going, but not as much as me :wink:.
- Intelligent, someone I can have deep conversations with.
- Open minded. (narrow mindedness is probably one of the most unattractive qualities I can think of)
- Someone who most of the time, would rather spend a Friday evening cuddling up on the couch watching a movie instead of going out to a party or whatever. 
- Can appreciate video games from time to time!
- Someone who can make me feel comfortable with sharing feelings and emotions. (oh snap).
- Twisted, sick and disturbing sense of humor! I also appreciate sarcasm!
- Big brown eyes!
- Someone who's not very skinny (I don't want a supermodel). In fact, I like chubby


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

HollyGolightly said:


> I just want them to be able to cook if I'm completely honest.
> The way to Holly's heart is through her stomach...yuumm.


 I thought the way to your heart was through your sternum. Ah well, I'd rather date you than snipe you.


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