# What is a Date?



## SlowPoke68 (Apr 26, 2010)

I have often wondered how people's definitions varied.

The one I heard a long time ago and used up until recently was "A social event with the threat of sex".

But that sounds kinda cold. Plus, it doesn't account for the growing phenomenon of "group dates" unless there are more people into orgies than I think there are. Also, sometimes you just have "sex dates" where the sex is not a threat but more like the main event of the evening. Or morning. Or lunch hour.

So I started thinking about it as a social gathering based on the the prospective pleasure of companionship. But in that case I have been on a lot of dates with guys and relatives. Maybe I just need to get over that.

What's your favorite definition?


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## Diphenhydramine (Apr 9, 2010)

I think a date is just when two people meet alone for some kind of decided or time-limited event for the purposes of either (a) fun or (b) getting to know each other better.


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

I think a "date" is a set time, set date, set activity to provide the opportunity and ideally positive atmosphere to get to know someone. I tend to be prepared to pitch in financially, (I have no expectation other than the person to treat me with respect and to be themselves) and the goal is to enjoy each others company.

with that being said, I also make "dates" to catch up with my close female friends as well. So I suppose my definition is just "getting to know someone" or spending time with someone and enjoying their company. The romantic factor is a separate notion in my mind. Because if I'm single , I'm going to get to know a lot of people (dates, talks, etc.) but no touchy feely unless I feel something for someone (in which case I don't really continue seeing other people then).


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## Penguin (Sep 25, 2012)

if you and a female (if youre straight) knowingly agree to do something at a set time by yourselves its pretty much a date to her. If she doesnt want to do anything with you alone she isnt attracted to you. I used to go to movies with girls all the time not thinking they were dates until I hurt like...3 girls feelings in a row, then I figured out not to do that lmao.


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## SlowPoke68 (Apr 26, 2010)

Yes, Dear @Penguin, I noticed that long ago when a casual stop for a burrito on the way back from dropping off some legal forms was considered a "date" by this poor, lonely woman who lived the next apartment over and whom I thought was just helping me out while my car was in the shop. Because there was no "threat of sex" and wasn't pre-arranged as a social occasion, I didn't consider it a date. But in her mind, I had swept her off her feet.

Girls can be weird.


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## Cetanu (Jan 20, 2012)

A date is when a chick comes over to your house and watches you play World of Warcraft for 3 hours before going home.


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

Cetanu said:


> A date is when a chick comes over to your house and watches you play World of Warcraft for 3 hours before going home.


ROFLMAO:laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing:


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## SublimeSerendipity (Dec 30, 2010)

I think a date is doing something at a set date/time with a guy to get to know him better with the possibility of getting serious. I definitely don't agree with the "threat of sex" idea, but perhaps "*threat of a kiss*" is more truthful. 

I dated this INTJ for a good 2 months and he never kissed me. I knew we were dating and I also know (from others he had talked to) that he really liked me a lot, but the fact that he never even tried to kiss me, I started losing interest in him romantically and ended up friend-zoning him. He was a great guy, we had amazing conversations, but it felt more like I was going out with a friend.

However, I went out with this guy as friends that I actually had a crush on and he thought it was just hanging out as friends but I saw it more as potentially a date --- and I kissed him and he freaked out. FAIL.....

When I did online dating it was easy to know it was a date :kitteh:. And while not all the guys kissed on the first date, some did. Others just hugged me....I found it to be very personality type based. IMHO, if a guy kisses me on the first date it gives me this extra bit of knowledge. Like, I know I can usually judge a guy on a first date whether or not I feel like there's that spark, but a kiss can seal the deal (either way) for me.

That's not to say I expect a kiss. I think the only time I ever went on a first date and expected a kiss was with my current boyfriend....and that was only because everything in our communication and interaction had led us to that point. And it took me breath away. But I had never had something like that before in my life.


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## goastfarmer (Oct 20, 2010)

SlowPoke68 said:


> "A social event with the threat of sex".


To me, that sounds more like date rape. 

Otherwise, I don't sex how the "threat" of sex is an appropriate way of describing *anything*.


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## SlowPoke68 (Apr 26, 2010)

@BuckeyeENFP: Kissing is "sex" for the purposes of this description. It's sexual expression when it's done in a romantic context, no? 
@saintless: It's not my quote. I think it came from some witty British academic. And coming from a middle- or upper-class Brit, even prospect of consensual sex seems like a "threat". Supposed to be a bit funny like that. No need for knotted knickers.


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## RetroVortex (Aug 14, 2012)

Its a kind of fruit isn't it?


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

I go out on dates when a guy wants to take me out on the town and have fun with me. It can be dinner, drinks, movie, theater, etc. 

During our marriage my ex husband took me out on dates in order to keep the fires burning. He took me out of "mom role" and "wife role" and we were two people dating. Our couples' therapist stressed the importance of "still dating" while you're married. I know my dad and his wife have Friday nights as their "Movie Date Night" and they always go dinner and a movie. It keeps them young and happy.

Taking me out on a date means we are not at home, we are out and there is potential romantic interest. There can be other friends around, we could be double, triple, or quadruple dating. I love that, it's fun. 

A "sex date" wouldn't apply in my world since going to his or my house is not a date, according to me. And I don't have "dates" just for sex, unless perhaps I'm in a committed relationship with someone and we are just messing around and being silly saying we have a "sex date". Lol. 

If I saying I'm "dating someone", that means we are going out on dates, getting to know each other, but we haven't had the conversation yet to go one-on-one and be committed. We haven't said the "L" word yet. We are still just "dating". Which means we are going out on the town and having fun. Maybe we are both really interested in each other. But sometimes, one of us is pretty much aware this is all it's going to be-sort of like an activity partner- someone to play pool and have drinks with, etc. 


I go out on dates with different people when I was single and it's how I obtained my current boyfriend. He asked me out on a date and we felt a "spark". Then we had many conversations later that we stopped "dating" other people and only want to be together. I remember my european ex-husband didn't understand the American concept of dating and how we can date multiple people until we find someone we can commit to. 

And if we steal away one weeks worth of time at a couple's resort in Jamaica and have tons of sex, that is a _vacation_ or get-away. 

My current boyfriend takes me out on dates. He plans them all. I don't plan. And he reminds me of them. "I made reservations for us at XXX Restaurant at 7:30 pm." Or I've "RSVP'd the wine tasting event on Sunday night.." These are dates. He may get sex before we leave for our date, and he may get sex after our date. But the sex is not a date. It's not even part of the date. It's sex and we are not out on the town. 

However, flashing my boyfriend a crotch shot from across the room as I cross my legs while we are out for drinks and with friends, is part of the date. And whispering in his ear on the dance floor that I "forgot to put my panties on underneath my dress" is also a date and definitely includes _the threat of sex._ :laughing:

I tease my boyfriend so badly when we are out on the town. :blushed:

Anyway, romantic intentions are clear on a date. In other words, if I'm in a committed relationship with someone, I do not go out or accept dates from another man.


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## Nastorm (Jun 3, 2012)

I'm thankful that in my country there are no such things as dates. It's kinda dumb.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

antahon said:


> I'm thankful that in my country there are no such things as dates. It's kinda dumb.


How do you get to know someone you might be interested in? You never do anything together?


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## bales33 (Aug 8, 2012)

You + someone or something else + action of some kind = date. Also else is left up to an individuals subjective interpretation of what a date is.


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## Kyandigaru (Mar 11, 2012)

i dont have a favorite defination of "date". However, I think its when two people go out to a place/home and have loads of conversation and flirting. Maybe a couple of drinks included. The difference is that there's mutual attraction with both parties...


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## Playful Proxy (Feb 6, 2012)

Cetanu said:


> A date is when a chick comes over to your house and watches you play World of Warcraft for 3 hours before going home.


Can Guild Wars 2 be considered a cheaper and graphically superior alternative?


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## goastfarmer (Oct 20, 2010)

@SlowPoke68 - 

Updated my signature for you... and technically others as well. 

Someway or another, I will teach people not to take everything I say so seriously.


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

A date is something I don't want to go to, but wind up going because the person who made me was attractive enough.


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## Diphenhydramine (Apr 9, 2010)

Following android's format example...

A date is something I go to where I get chastised for drinking double whiskys at lunchtime.


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