# ..xxfx?



## shyextrovert (Jan 2, 2015)

1) What aspect of your personality made you unsure of your type?

Well I have an anxiety disorder, so that always screws everything up!

I'm not sure I completely grasp the cognitive functions.. So maybe that says something about me. But here goes: 

I'm pretty sure I'm an extrovert as I am miserable if alone for too long but I act like an introvert and people who don't know me call me quiet and reserved. But I'm really not, unless I don't trust people to accept me. People who I've gotten to know have said "I thought you were shy but you're really crazy!" 

I can't decide between n and s-
I use Ne frequently but it always always gets me into trouble and sends me into panic. I believe one of my close relatives (who I grew up with) is an unhealthy enfp and I took on some of his behaviors in order to "survive".. Ie I would try to think how he thinks so I don't get myself in trouble with him etc. Ni is difficult for me but seems to "work better" when I use it properly. Ne is good for me when I try to create art.
I relate lots of things to the past but also can get fully engulfed in the present (where my addictive qualities set in) 

I'm definitely definitely an F. No doubt in my mind here. Whether Fe or Fi I don't know, I think I use both functions. Fe seems to get me into more trouble as I'm always overly concerned what others think. Even like what my cat or dog thinks of me if I don't give them what they want. Woo thank goodness for therapy, am I right?? But I often ignore what I feel, think, want. That said, when I do have strong convictions (not often but there are a few) I am extremely stubborn. And I'm constantly on a search to find myself (hence this post). I very rarely use thinking functions (sadly..) and therefore always fear I'm stupid.

I'm pretty sure I'm a P, unless I'm anxious. 

I started this journey thinking I'm infp for the longest time. Then infj, enfp, esfj.. Pretty much find myself in /can relate to every F type.. Currently think I may be a very socially anxious esfp. I could be isfp but they're pretty different? It's confusing to me how I'm borderline on e/i but that doesn't mean I'm, say infp vs enfp or esfp vs isfp. Or does it? I'm confused -_-

It's stressing me out and I just want to know (is that a j quality?) but don't have the $50 to spare on the online mbti at the moment. 

I also fear being myself bc I know I have a lot of qualities people find annoying (I mean I find them annoying myself) and clearly, I can't have that. I "know" everyone can't like me, but why not?

2) What do you yearn for in life? Why? 
I just want to love others, see beauty, have fun and do cool things with people. I think that's honestly just what makes me the happiest and feel most alive. I do desire deep relationships and intimacy with others as well. But not limited to a few people.. Pretty much with everyone lol. 

3) Think about a time where you felt like you were at your finest. Tell us what made you feel that way.

When I studied abroad for a semester. I decided i was not going to let anxiety ruin a once in a lifetime experience and I would enjoy everything for what it was. It was a dream realized and I wanted to make the most of it. I had the least anxiety of my life at that time.. Some, but much much less.


4) What makes you feel inferior?

People criticizing or judging me for how I naturally am (hence my chameleon-like personality depending on circumstances or situations). People who do things I value doing much better than me.

5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.) 

People first.. Feelings second.. And since therapy I try to bring logic in as much as possible but it's hard for me (ha)

6) When working on a project what is normally your emphasis? Do you like to have control of the outcome? 

How cool it turns out. I want it to be unique and awesome. People have to like it. (Hate this about myself). If it's like.. taxes then I procrastinate, even though I just wanna get it done and get the heck on to better things but do it so no one judges me. I like control of the outcome if I'm very invested and care a lot about it. If not I really have a hard time being motivated except fear if someone being mad at me.

7) Describe us a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it? 

Semester abroad- learning and seeing new things, meeting new people. Doing something "cool". My memory of it is extremely romanticized and I tend to forget the harder aspects and things I struggled with.

Another time was after a breakup when I went dancing with friends and got a little drunk... Uncharacteristic for me but I had fun not giving a crap. I haven't done that again though as I'm a Christian and I value my faith and what God says in the Bible strongly. But I'll admit I had fun. I also have an addictive personality though, so I've learned that doing that too often would be very detrimental to me. 

8) When you want to learn something new, what feels more natural for you? (Are you more prone to be hands on, to theorize, to memorize, etc) 

I need to watch and do.. Concrete examples.. Need to imitate 

9) How organized do you to think of yourself as? 

If I showed you a photo of my room it would frighten you. Currently working on that and learning to clean as I go. Not my natural tendency though. At. All.

10) How do you judge new ideas? You try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense or do you look for information that supports it?

I think I look for supporting information more often. Like "oh that makes me think of what happened to this person.. " or oh yeah that makes sense bc "fact fact fact". I do try to understand principles too but am often wrong. 

11) You find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself? 

Oh geez. Both honestly.

12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions? 

Depends on if I feel comfortable or not.. If I'm comfortable.. I def speak before thinking and get myself into trouble. If not comfortable I shut down. Again depends on the group.. I think one on one though 

13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words?

Honestly depends on the situation.. And depends on my anxiety. If I'm not afraid, then jump in right away. If I'm fearful, I'm insanely cautious. Action does speak much louder.. 


4) It's Saturday. You're at home, and your favorite show is about to start. Your friends call you for a night out. What will you do?

Record that sucker and go out. Unless I'm like pmsing hah. Or very anxious, In which case id prob just sleep. 

15) How do you act when you're stressed out? 

Shut down, snappy, frustrated, withdraw, get even more messy and uncaring, overly emotional, overly sensitive. I'm a joy, really. 

16) What makes you dislike the personalities of some people? 

I hate when people don't care about others feelings/needs. Or when overly pushy or controlling. Though I tend to date controlling guys (yay) I get really annoyed when people talk incessantly about every thought in their head even though i think that's bc I want a turn to do the same and instead I'm forced to listen. 

17) Is there anything you really like talking about with other people? 

Yes, if I'm being brutally honest and unashamed, myself. Lol and also about others' thoughts/opinions/hopes/dreams/etc. I like to relate to people and find commonalities that can bond us together. Is that weird? 

18) What kind of things do pay the least attention to in your life 

Numbers. Seriously. It took me like two hours to try to figure out a budget the other day, I hate them. They make me feel like an idiot. 

19) How do your friends perceive you? What is wrong about their perception? ? What would your friends never say about your personality ? 

I am often asked for advice and to just hang out with. So I guess they perceive me as fun and caring. They think I'm a little eccentric. Sometimes I don't care as much about certain things as they might think (ie who someone kissed last night and every detail). I care deeply about things that would hurt or upset them but not about dumb stuff as much. But I expect them to care about my dumb stuff haha (hypocrite gah). They would never say I was mean. Even when I think I'm being a brat, it goes unnoticed by most, as I end up apologizing and then hearing "really? I didn't think you were being mean/snappy/bratty"

20) You got a whole day to do whatever you like. What kind of activities do you feel like doing?

Def would appreciate some friends to come with..but not entirely necessary. Travel somewhere new would be first. Otherwise shopping, go to the orchard and get apple cider and freshly baked donuts, explore a city, take an art class, learn/listen to some music, spend time talking at a coffee shop, napping/snuggling, watch a comedy


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## Adena (May 14, 2014)

2. Fe. Also, maybe an SX (Enneagram stuff )
3. Not sure, perhaps Ni/Se but not quite...
4. Again, Fe having trouble with Ti.
5. indicates EXFJ
6. Again, your answers scream Fe. Might be Ne somewhere in there too.
7. That could indicate both Si/Ne or Ni/Se. I have to continue reading 
8. XSXX maybe?
9. Not indication of anything to be honest.
10. Ti. Maybe Si as well- "fact fact fact"
11. Well, either Fe or Fi 
12. Either, that doesn't really say anything.
13. I'm leaning towards Si/Ne at this point. 
14. EXXX
15. Inferior Ti.
16. Again, Fe.
17. Not weird, just Fe!
18. I hate numbers as well 
19. Fe.
20. Ne.

I think you're an ESFJ with an active Ne. Honestly, I don't know what made you think INFP cause you're just so Fi.


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## shyextrovert (Jan 2, 2015)

Oh geez, I should clarify that I do NOT find going out dancing sinful. Haha but putting myself in a situation with too much alcohol, loneliness and strange men could lead to a poor outcome


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## shyextrovert (Jan 2, 2015)

Thank you for your insight!

Do you see how confusing I am though? Haha. It's frustrating. 

I kinda hope I'm not esfj, because I read that the mother in pride and prejudice is typed as such and she annoys the crap out of me haha! 

I'm probably gonna go thru this response again when I'm not reading on my iphone


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## Adena (May 14, 2014)

shyextrovert said:


> Thank you for your insight!
> 
> Do you see how confusing I am though? Haha. It's frustrating.
> 
> I kinda hope I'm not esfj, because I read that the mother in pride and prejudice is typed as such and she annoys the crap out of me haha!


You're welcome! Haha, you're mostly cute, that's all 

The thing about SJs is that they can vary- because Si builds on past experiences, you might have a different set of values. For example- I am very well traveled, hence I am quite open minded about cultures. I loved playing games of imagination because my cousin used to play them with me and it developed my Ne. I hung out around tumblr a lot, so I became a great feminist. It's all very subjective. So I have ISFJs whom I have nothing in common with- I used to have an ISFJ friend who thought I was very weird  

There are so many wonderful ESFJs in fiction: Molly Weasley from Harry Potter, Katara from Avatar: The Last Airbender, Effie Trinket from The Hunger Games, Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation (my personal favorite ESFJ), Glinda Upland from Wicked, Alison Hendrix from Orphan Black and many more- trust me, I don't identify with every ISFJ character


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## shyextrovert (Jan 2, 2015)

Oh my gosh Leslie! If she's esfj I can deal with that haha. Though I read she was enfj. Also Monica from friends is esfj and she also annoys the crap out of me.. I feel like I'm more of a Phoebe/Rachel blend. I also completely relate to Anna from frozen and rapunzel from tangled (yes I'm 26 referencing Disney -_-)


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

I agree with ESFJ

Nothing wrong with ESFJ,Ne-ish ones are especially great


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## somnuvore (Sep 27, 2013)

I also agree with ESFJ.


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## shyextrovert (Jan 2, 2015)

Thanks everyone! Can you explain a little more why you think ESFJ? I'm not fully convinced when I read the descriptions of the type.. It doesn't feel like me. Some aspects yes, but I feel I relate more to other types. I just don't understand I guess (that in itself probably makes me esfj huh)

About a year ago I posted on a different board (typology central I think) and got a resounding enfp. 

Sometimes I think I try to conform to whatever type I want to be at the moment, and then project what I want to be and ignore any information that argues with my opinion/desire. (I definitely do the disregarding of unsupporting info)

Also I tend to obsess over personality types when I'm stressed out.. And yeah I'm going thru a lot right now.. so idk how the shadow functions or whatever work, and idk how they could be coming into play?


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## Adena (May 14, 2014)

shyextrovert said:


> Thanks everyone! Can you explain a little more why you think ESFJ? I'm not fully convinced when I read the descriptions of the type.. It doesn't feel like me. Some aspects yes, but I feel I relate more to other types. I just don't understand I guess (that in itself probably makes me esfj huh)
> 
> About a year ago I posted on a different board (typology central I think) and got a resounding enfp.
> 
> ...


Well, I gave my reasoning for every answer you gave, so I can't really explain further than that  But I will tell you this:

Don't read the ESFJ descriptions. They all sound like they're describing someone's mother. The SJs descriptions are very, very bad and it kept me from finding my own type for almost a year- I thought that because I'm imaginative, I must be an N, hence INFJ- so no, SJs can be imaginative and creative as well (especially if they have a well developed Ne, as you have), they just prefer looking before they're leaping and can be wary of new thing- the unknown scares them, but once the unknown becomes known, there's nothing wrong about it.

I know, sometimes I did that as well, if you want you can fill out a different questionnaire when you're in a different mood, I'll be happy to help 

Shadow functions for ESFJ are Fi-Se-Ni-Te, meaning ISFP, which I highly doubt you are. 

Also- Leslie Knope IS an ESFJ. Remember her saying- "I love old times! New times are great as well but there's something about _old times_"- Si. She brainstorms- Ne. She doesn't like changes so much. She's quirky, but quirky does not equal N.


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## shyextrovert (Jan 2, 2015)

I really doubt I'm a J. I hate HATE planning out what I'm going to do and prefer just going by what I feel like and "winging it." I only plan out what I'm going to do if I feel like I have to. This drove one of my super J ex boyfriends insane.. And we had to come to a compromise where on Saturdays I had the whole morning and early afternoon to myself to do whatever (usually sleeping in and then doing whatever I felt like, starbucks, shopping, whatever) and then the rest of the day would be with his plans of fun things to do. Poor guy ha. 

Decisions that can't be changed easily make me insanely anxious and I have a hard time committing to anything. Even, as you can see, a mbti type 

I also think Fe has been forced on me.. I have been criticized harshly for being selfish and only caring about myself so I overcompensate by trying to forget about my needs.... But to my own self-destruction. Maybe my Fi is just severely underdeveloped.

Also my ex boyfriend and I both cared a lot about what other people think. Yet he had a harder time with complete strangers judging him, which I was able to brush off more easily because "I'm never gonna see them again"). I have a harder time with people I know judging me because I'm afraid if I do something dumb/weird, they're gonna start treating me differently. 

As far as Se/Si vs Ne/Ni ... Not sure if this will apply but: I have an aptitude for music and learning things very easily, such as picking up accents... I LOVE making people laugh. I'm a graphic designer and I love realistic art (honestly I think modern art is stupid hah).. I love trends in fashion, home, and design, sometimes to a fault where I have a hard time creating new things (which makes me think s over n) but instead imitate and tweak what's already there. I like people to find me unique, and cool.. I also LOVEEEE animals and taking care of children (I've heard/read this is an esfp thing).. I would save all animals if I could haha. And have been like that foreverrr. I have an addictive personality with like food, music, tv shows, shopping, things. When I'm stressed, I'm self destructive. I'm forgetful and need visual reminders of everything. All this stuff makes me think SFP. Though this is a relatively new "discovery" haha. 

Se/Ni? I am able to "predict" some things like I knew something was up with my ex, but kept going.. And then I found out some stuff about the relationship.. And I was def accurate. I'm really really good at reading most people. I can tell when someone is "creepy" Someone's slight change in facial expression can let me know exactly what they're thinking/feeling. My dad once said "you can read minds" haha.. But he also said that's sometimes I'm incorrect about my interpretation. 

Se/si? I remember lots of facts and things people say, and stuff like that but only when it has personally affected me. Ie, "you said this. I remember because it made me think maybe you didn't like me bc xyz" (though maybe that's si..ne dang.. But could be si and fi. Aggggghhhhh). I can also find stuff that's missing based on what color I remember it being. But! I feel my best when I'm living in the moment and not worrying about future or past. 

Do you not think I'm an isfp bc of the Fi and Ni?

I think again anxiety and some trauma has just effed me up haha. 

Also, just saw your signature (again) .. And it reminded me that I'm phlegmatic/sanguine - Or sanguine/phlegmatic for sure. I'm too lazy to organize this post to make sense


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## Adena (May 14, 2014)

Well, you're the only one who knows what type you are.

If that helps, Sanguine/Phlegmatic combo correlates to ISFPs and ENFPs


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## shyextrovert (Jan 2, 2015)

Sorry, I'm being annoying haha.


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## Adena (May 14, 2014)

shyextrovert said:


> Sorry, I'm being annoying haha.


Haha no, it's just that based on your questionnaires you seemed so ESFJ but if you think you're not then you're not  Questionnaires can be biased and I'm no expert, plus I don't know you personally so I wouldn't know


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## shyextrovert (Jan 2, 2015)

Also totally was asking for the explanation from other users, not you cosinus! i def* really appreciate everything you've explained!


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

It takes lots of time to find your type.Just explore and the answer will come sooner or later

EDIT: I recommend "cognitive functions" section of personality cafe
And read other people's typing threads


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## shyextrovert (Jan 2, 2015)

Haha so theoretically, could I be a really stressed isfp acting like an esfj? 

You do seem very knowledgable! I'm just afraid maybe I wasn't presenting myself accurately.. Probably because I don't really know myself yet!


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

You strike me as Fe
We aren't always super selfless and warm

Just wait,read,think and it'll all come at it's place 
Even if you mispresented yourself it's not a big deal,we'll see the more real you if you keep posting.You can always make another thread after you've put your thoughts in perspective


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

I sent you a friend request @shyextrovert ,you can pm me if you have any questions about mbti or whatever else


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## shyextrovert (Jan 2, 2015)

Thanks living dead! roud:


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