# fear of exams



## lotusgirl (May 7, 2021)

mia-me said:


> But you are failing because of your fear of failure. So what good is that?


Nothing. I'm really floundering. Tomorrow, the exams start and continue for a whole month, but it's okay, I'm trying to follow your advice


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## mia-me (Feb 5, 2021)

lotusgirl said:


> Nothing. I'm really floundering. Tomorrow, the exams start and continue for a whole month, but it's okay, I'm trying to follow your advice


You don't need to follow my advice. Follow whatever advice helps you to relax, including pharmas that can help combat anxiety.


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## lotusgirl (May 7, 2021)

mia-me said:


> You don't need to follow my advice. Follow whatever advice helps you to relax, including pharmas that can help combat anxiety.


Yes, that's what I meant
But I used to follow the methods presented here in the past when I was
Fine


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## mia-me (Feb 5, 2021)

lotusgirl said:


> Yes, that's what I meant
> But I used to follow the methods presented here in the past when I was
> Fine


I'm not going to get into the name of the parts of the brain that do this but science has figured out how fear/anxiety can fog brains. What can help people to unfog is the simple action of taking a few deep breaths. This will interrupt the signal between brain parts that immobilize people when feeling anxiety or in panic mode. Understanding this might help.


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## mia-me (Feb 5, 2021)

An ongoing way to handle fears is to challenge them. In doing so, it works to desensitize since people often fear the unknown and in challenging the unknown, you learn more about it and your capabilities including resilience, hence the fear dials back down to a more healthy cautionary level or even dissipates.

Also, the definition of courage isn't fearlessness, since fearlessness can get people dead and in the worst case scenario, evidence a psychopathy trait. It's experiencing valid fears but pushing through them, to do what needs to be done. So in many ways, it's a no lose scenario to push through fears.


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## lotusgirl (May 7, 2021)

mia-me said:


> An ongoing way to handle fears is to challenge them. In doing so, it works to desensitize since people often fear the unknown and in challenging the unknown, you learn more about it and your capabilities including resilience, hence the fear dials back down to a more healthy cautionary level or even dissipates.
> 
> Also, the definition of courage isn't fearlessness, since fearlessness can get people dead and in the worst case scenario, evidence a psychopathy trait. It's experiencing valid fears but pushing through them, to do what needs to be done. So in many ways, it's a no lose scenario to push through fears.


Well I will do my best. I am really trying to deal with all the reasons


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## mia-me (Feb 5, 2021)

lotusgirl said:


> Well I will do my best. I am really trying to deal with all the reasons


And one more, a quote from a fictional work (Dune) but is likely my fave quote of all time. It's an elegant way to express pushing through your fears so they stop clouding your judgment.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

~Frank Herbert


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## lotusgirl (May 7, 2021)

mia-me said:


> And one more, a quote from a fictional work (Dune) but is likely my fave quote of all time. It's an elegant way to express pushing through your fears so they stop clouding your judgment.
> 
> I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
> 
> ~Frank Herbert


Oh, I loved it, it really works

I think I could put it between the affirmations of the Subliminal
Thank you, I think I can work on this


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## mia-me (Feb 5, 2021)

lotusgirl said:


> Oh, I loved it, it really works
> 
> I think I could put it between the affirmations of the Subliminal
> Thank you, I think I can work on this


Good luck! You can do this. First deep breaths, then litanies.


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## Penny (Mar 24, 2016)

lotusgirl said:


> If one of you suffers from this problem, I hope that he will tell me his opinion or his experience and how he is now
> 
> 
> This year is the hardest school year for me ever
> ...


if it's the kind of exam you can study for, I read that smelling mint while you study and also smelling mint again during the exam will help your memory recall. like sniff some mint leaves or essential oils or chew some gum or somehthng while you are studying then again during the exam. besides that, I find sniffing lavender to be helpful at easing nerves and anxiety. also, study well, figure out your learning style and study pertaining to it. for example, i like to take extensive notes. the act of writing things down helps me to remember them. some people do better with flash cards or hearing the information spoken aloud. ask someone to randomly quiz you to test your readiness. so study until you feel confident then take the exam with this attitude and hope for the best. however you do, you will do, so it's no use to worry and fear. whatever you score will be your score. accept this and just try your best. that is all you can really do. if you study until you feel you are prepared and have a grasp on the material you should do well enough.

eta- if you think you need help mentally, gingko biloba is an excellent herb to stimulate your brain and strengthen your memory recall. i think taking it helps with focus and clarity as well


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## Astrida88 (Jun 6, 2019)

lotusgirl said:


> I cannot understand this easily, there are all reasons for not being able to breathe
> 
> I have two options, success or success
> I really want to accept the idea of failure, but I can't talk about it until I feel a knot in my tongue


Actulally there are 3 options. Success, half success and failure.

It's OK if you accept no failure but you should be fine with a half success. I never accepted failures (if I got a failing grade I would force the teacher to let me redo the test right away, because I knew I can do better and me getting a low grade must have been a brain fog or something).

Half success is not getting the result you aimed for but not failing the whole exam. Lets say the university accepts students who got over 80% from a test and you only got 79%. That kind of thing.

It gives 2 approaches:

You can try to fix your result by redoing the test. The redo is often after the first part of university recruitment process (so you are in worse position from the start, more paperwork), and if you get less than 80% again you might have to wait a year for another redo and apply for the university next year. It could be a good thing because gap years broaden your horizons - but with the year you might also discover the university you aimed for is not what you actually want to do with your life. And you would have to work hard so you dont forget what you learned - it's easier to do the exam during high school than after a year of travelling the world or something. Because you no longer remember what you were taught.

Or you can change your goal - apply for a different university, which accepts your result, or look for a job instead. Which could be a good thing because higher education is overratted nowadays. Everyone can get a title as long as they are not total idiots and they have parents with enough money to pay the tution. You can also pay the tution with their own part time job if the parents are poor. I don't know about other countries but my country is full of highly educated unemployed people. The employers migth be looking for people with a paper in job offers and in the early candidates filtering (which is actually a problem if you want to apply officially for your first job) but once you start working and get some experience your working years and things you did in your prievous jobs becomes more important than some piece of paper. You you migth get the experiences by being a low grade helper in a company that specielizes in the field of your first choice university. It's not uncommon for people to learn the tasks first, get the degree later (some higher paying jobs reguire higher education). Which actually makes it easier for them becasue they have practical knowledge in the field they are studying. And the company pays the tution!

There is always a way out.

I got a very poor grade in my math test during the high school graduation exam because I had a fever that day (I literally come down with a flu for 2 weeks as soon as I got back home, fortunatelly it was my last exam). I got only 58%, which was ridiculus since I was getting no less than 97% from all math trial tests I did, including the official trial. I never fixed that. I was plannign to but somehow my life got on rigth tracks on it's own. My first choice university didn't accept me so I applied for another, with paid tution and not exactly in the field I found interesting (I was applying for astronomy at first, because I liked looking in the nigth sky... stupid reason, I was still a kid at 18) but one is that good to have (accounting). It gave me a paper that is usefull for the job I do right now but the paper wasn't the reason I was hired. They simply knew I am smart and they needed someone who is actually thinking.

I also changed my fields once. I never ended the accounting programme (I only did the first tier - it gave me a higher education paper but there are a lot of people out there with a 2nd tier paper, that reguires another 2 years of studying) because I was not interested and because I really didn't want to write another graduation book-like essey (40+ pages). Unable to get a job in my field due to lack of working experience I gained another degree, in computers science (a free college). 3 years (1st tier) instead of 5 years again because it got boring soon enough too. Having 2 fields of education instead of one helps a lot. I am currently working a job that let's me use both fields because I am an accountant and IT help at once - they don't need to hire another worker, I have enough knowledge of 2.

And it all started because I had a poor grade in the high school graduation math exam and was not able to get in the Astronomy.


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## lotusgirl (May 7, 2021)

Astrida88 said:


> Actulally there are 3 options. Success, half success and failure.
> 
> It's OK if you accept no failure but you should be fine with a half success. I never accepted failures (if I got a failing grade I would force the teacher to let me redo the test right away, because I knew I can do better and me getting a low grade must have been a brain fog or something).
> 
> ...


I understand this better now
I made a difficult decision not to take part in the mock exams
I am doing myself therapy now
I try to follow the best way to study

I will directly take the main exam, but I will be well prepared


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