# Sx-1sts/2nds: How often do you feel attraction towards someone of the opposite/ sex?



## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

Quang said:


> Its quite interesting because the instincts in some ways represent the 'aura' of a person. The instinctual subtype is pervasive and is the first thing that appears on the surface before the enneagram type according to the Faurves.
> 
> SX: Hot, intense, laser-like directing outwards (intense) ON or OFF
> SO: Warm, cursory, split energy directing outwards (diffused)
> SP: Cool, consistent, energy going inwards (conservation)


Yep. As So Sx I start out warm and split but then Sx takes over and I get intense and I hate it so I end the relationship. My Sx just gets in the way. I am trying so hard to stop my Sx because it literally sickens me. But sometimes I can't help but making things intense. It's sad. I really want to avoid Sx firsts. Actually I even want to avoid Sx seconds. I just want no Sx. I like So. Sx is too demanding.


----------



## sittapygmaea (Aug 24, 2014)

Interesting perspective, @Stelliferous. I really value that kind of self-awareness and honesty. 

Sx IS really demanding. I'm not sure if it's first or second for me (SP is my other), but I wish more people were clear about disliking it, as you are. I don't want to be shamed for it, or told to tamp it down. If that aspect of my personality doesn't work for you, friend, please do us both a favor and exit stage left. People are too afraid of doing something that will cause short-term pain even if it will lead to long-term benefits. 




Stelliferous said:


> Yep. As So Sx I start out warm and split but then Sx takes over and I get intense and I hate it so I end the relationship. My Sx just gets in the way. I am trying so hard to stop my Sx because it literally sickens me. But sometimes I can't help but making things intense. It's sad. I really want to avoid Sx firsts. Actually I even want to avoid Sx seconds. I just want no Sx. I like So. Sx is too demanding.


----------



## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

sittapygmaea said:


> Interesting perspective, @_Stelliferous_. I really value that kind of self-awareness and honesty.
> 
> Sx IS really demanding. I'm not sure if it's first or second for me (SP is my other), but I wish more people were clear about disliking it, as you are. I don't want to be shamed for it, or told to tamp it down. If that aspect of my personality doesn't work for you, friend, please do us both a favor and exit stage left. People are too afraid of doing something that will cause short-term pain even if it will lead to long-term benefits.


Yeah there's no disrespect it's just.. Stressful. Sx may think it's boring but boring is NOT what I feel. I feel freedom.


----------



## BroNerd (Nov 27, 2010)

As a sx-second, my feelings towards those I'm attracted to are intense. 
The one thing that gets in the way is my sp instinct. I tend to hide a lot of what I truly feel from others.
Past girlfriends have been surprised by my quietly intense brand of emotionalism.

I do find that I need sexual attraction to feel happiness. Without it, I become bitter and cynical.


----------



## mushr00m (May 23, 2011)

fasc said:


> So Sx-lasts lives lack meaning.


I don't completely agree with SX - meaning. Look at soc and how the meaning is transferred to people instead of simply the experience and soc doms still find personal meaning in satisfying their dom instinct. Meaning means reason/explanation and we all need to find reasons to exist, this is universal. Don't forget we have 2 active instincts, the 3rd instinct is the one we probably find least meaning or negative meaning.


----------



## Quang (Sep 4, 2014)

mushr00m said:


> I don't completely agree with SX - meaning. Look at soc and how the meaning is transferred to people instead of simply the experience and soc doms still find personal meaning in satisfying their dom instinct. Meaning means reason/explanation and we all need to find reasons to exist, this is universal. Don't forget we have 2 active instincts, the 3rd instinct is the one we probably find least meaning or negative meaning.


Well mentioned. Personal meaning can also be found through belonging to and/or being identified with a group/family/community (like in East Asian cultures or religion), thus I would like to elaborate is that SX also represents the juice, strong bonds, between you and its members. The absence of the SX instinct causes robotic interactions where members of a community mostly would maintain a superficial feeling of connection for the sake of duty (flattery, adaptability, wearing social masks). What keeps a family together is how they are engaged, how they are related, not only socially, but at a emotional level (similarity of interests, common goals, values, proximity). Sharing experiences together facilitates bonding and for intimate relationships to develop- numerous research studies have supported this. Naturally, people are more likely to reveal their authentic and vulnerable sides once they feel that people around them are trustworthy and related (however this can still be a challenge for unhealthy 3s and 8s regardless).

SP: Don't Starve together (Sorry Klei)> SO: Participate together> SX: Bond together


----------

