# What are the effect of overprotective parents on adult children



## .17485

What are the effects of overprotective parents on adult children? 

I think that the adult in new environments will come across shy, passive, always agreeable. In relationships with friends or a lover, they always would want that need of pleasing them in a way that they become a pushover. Lack of trust with women/men as well who they see as overly emotional or never express their needs and wants. I think of those examples. Also a lack of social life. Having no close relationships with people or desiring relationships. I wonder if that can make an individual codependent?


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## Word Dispenser

It's dependent on a variety of variables, I think. 

Over-protective parents cannot always hold sway over their adult children. Their attitudes would certainly influence the child's upbringing and development, but parents are not the sole proprietors of the child. 

When the adult is grown and moves out, well, that changes their entire environmental structure. 

The child is owned by its environment-- School, interests, friends... All of this plays a role. As a child grows into an adult, they learn, and are shaped by what they learn. 

Oftentimes they can be as you describe, reach an epiphany, and change based upon this experience, becoming obstinate and refusing to submit.


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## StElmosDream

Word Dispenser said:


> It's dependent on a variety of variables, I think.
> 
> The child is owned by its environment-- School, interests, friends... All of this plays a role. As a child grows into an adult, they learn, and are shaped by what they learn.
> 
> Oftentimes they can be as you describe, reach an epiphany, and change based upon this experience, becoming obstinate and refusing to submit.


Well stated, although the absence of a caregiver can also be equally or a likely influence on how a protective parent behaves; Mother becoming both parents simultaneously some might argue.


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## Ben8

The child would never grow to understand commonalities. The child would be sensitive, coy, and ultimately handicapped. This is something I have grown to learn the hard way, as I have been raised in a fairly sheltered atmosphere.


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## nonnaci

It's a return the womb and conversely a rejection of exploring/living an outer life. Codependence and a lack of self-knowledge becomes the result of having never experienced and overcoming hardships.


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## stormgirl

From what I have seen, they are often crippled with anxiety and/or depression. I had a roommate once who was nearly 30 years old, but still completely dependent on her parents. She had a joint bank account with them so they could check on her finances. When they would come to visit, her mother would sleep in the room with her, and they would call regularly to make sure she was working on her school work!

She was completely incapable of living alone or doing anything for herself. She said she wanted to be more independent, but never actually took steps to make that happen. Sadly, I doubt the situation has changed even to this day. Parents who do that to their kids have no idea of how much damage they are doing. Instead of preparing them for the world, they make them scared of it!


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## mushr00m

Possible feelings of being overwhelmed by life and not being able to cope well with it, maybe some dependency problems. Or rebelliousness, it depends on the persons individual psychology.


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## dragthewaters

Scared of everything and not knowledgeable about the real world. Possibly really good at school but unable to do simple tasks such as deal with finances or make good career decisions.


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## PowerShell

I have a friend who's mom is like a helicopter parent when we go drinking. We're all 23-24 and she is constantly texting us to see what is going on. Basically her son (my friend) likes to get very drunk and gets stupid as hell to the point where he's been threatened to be permanently banned from some bars. His mom always picks him up from the bar and pretty much picks up the pieces of his destruction. She also texts us all the time to see what he is up to and basically we have to keep watching out for him.

Basically what happens in this case is since someone is always there pick up the pieces, they will continue to do the same BS and not learn. Basically when you make up for someone's deficiencies, they will continue to do them and basically you are a crutch.

The sad thing is he has a daughter but is now living at home with his parents since his girlfriend kicked him out. He's a good friend and we have some good times but he really needs a reality check.


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