# Have you found your soulmate?



## HollyGolightly (Aug 8, 2009)

Starting to give up on the idea that there is just one person we are meant to be with. Care to reinforce this or restore my faith?  Have you found your soulmate? How do you know? Do you believe in the idea of soulmates?

Thoughts thoughts thoughts =]


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## StElmosDream (May 26, 2012)

Not sure about soul mates any more (assuming I ever was), the closest I've ever got is finding fellow kindred INFJs to befriend but then again some might question if seeking something blinds us to new opportunities or random occurrences when INFJs (like any type) can find that connection with others easily without reciprocation sometimes. 

I guess it is fair to be hopeful deep emotional bonds can exist, while at the same time we can't force something that is not there only be available to consider alternatives. Then again most of us have heard of instant romances or shotgun weddings that last. 

Two examples I have involve a couple who knew each other in High School then 20 years later arranged to meet getting married a week later and my parents actually moved in together less than 6 months after 'dating' with 12 years age difference between them (well my mother and dad) staying together 22 years later.


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## RoughEstimate (Mar 10, 2012)

His name's Daemon Sadi, and he's a fictional character in a novel. I believe in kindred spirits, people whom you uncanilly connect with, but I don't believe there's a specific "one". I'd certainly hope not. People are much too faceted to only be truly compatible with one person, they're much too complex to be compatible with anyone, really...I talked myself into a circle.
I guess it just depends on how you define "soul-mate". Most of the people I've talked to about it share a common "Nicholas Sparks" or "Disney" theme, someone to ride into your life and just complete you. 
I believe if you're open to love someone and they're equally open to loving you, it's entirely possible and even probable.
Masters of destiny, we are.


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## sharky (Jul 1, 2012)

I think soul mates exist, but not in the sense that there is one person in the world with whom we are destined to be paired. One person can have many potential mates who would complement their personality and make them happy in a very special way, but who you find depends on circumstance. I have no idea how one would detect that sort of thing, though, beyond experience. I thought I had found a soul mate in a past relationship, but it ended badly, so I don't really trust my own judgment.


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## Kyandigaru (Mar 11, 2012)

I think they exist, but they come when you are either at your highest point in life or lowest. You know, the point in your life where you are completely unaware of love. Not to be that typical poster to say, "let love find you". <--- That saying is dangerous, because it dont always apply. 

I believe in kindred spirits moreso, because it just seems more believeable. Soulmates seem 'fantasy like' to me.


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## L'Empereur (Jun 7, 2010)

Nope. I haven't even found a person I can tolerate for more than a hour.


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## HollyGolightly (Aug 8, 2009)

L'Empereur said:


> Nope. I haven't even found a person I can tolerate for more than a hour.


This is what they invented alcohol for


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## viva (Aug 13, 2010)

The idea of having a soulmate doesn't strike me as very far-fetched, as I believe nothing happens by circumstance or coincidence. I know that the person I'm meant to be with will come into my life, whether I try to find them or not. The hard part isn't finding your soulmate... the hard part is sorting through and getting past the people who_ look_ like your soulmate, but aren't. The hard part is not being fooled.

I don't really like the term "soulmate" as I think it's a bit cheesy. I just believe that everyone is meant to love and be loved in return, above all things. It seems quite obvious to me that people would be destined to stumble across others who would make that possible for them.


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## Nixu (Jun 2, 2010)

viva said:


> The idea of having a soulmate doesn't strike me as very far-fetched, as I believe nothing happens by circumstance or coincidence. I know that the person I'm meant to be with will come into my life, whether I try to find them or not. The hard part isn't finding your soulmate... the hard part is sorting through and getting past the people who_ look_ like your soulmate, but aren't. The hard part is not being fooled.
> 
> I don't really like the term "soulmate" as I think it's a bit cheesy. I just believe that everyone is meant to love and be loved in return, above all things. It seems quite obvious to me that people would be destined to stumble across others who would make that possible for them.


Almost exactly like this. I believe most things don't happen by chance, so the idea of soulmates sounds good to me. However, I do think there are more than one of them, and even some of the soulmates are better for you than some others. And one person can be a soulmate for more than one other person. It's more like the _right_ people.

I've found one soulmate/right one, but hmmm...she's not for me. We're highly compatible, but we're just not meant for each other. Still, makes for super good friends!


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## Einstein (Aug 10, 2011)

I believe soulmates do exist. I found mine recently. Best feeling in the world.

However people do change and grow, so while they may be 'meant' to be with someone that doesn't necessarily mean that they are meant to be with them at every point in their life. So it isn't always a waste of time or a bad thing to be in a relationship with someone who is not your soulmate.

I like the word 'mindmate' better though.:happy:


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## Lala (Oct 13, 2008)

My "soul mate..." No, I don't think so. I might know who they are, but they are far away, and I promised my loyalty to someone else who I _do_ love. Sometimes I just do not believe my current partner & I are suited for each other, but that does not really stop me from loving him. Could I really call him my soul mate... On some levels, yes, but in the end we are very different types of people. I do not really feel that means our relationship is bad, as we care about each other deeply, but there are many things we just cannot connect on, which is okay with me. I have friends who I can connect with on other levels, so it kind of balances out, I guess.


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## Persephone (Nov 14, 2009)

Don't believe I will, though I have found several tolerable enough to marry. There is no "the one" or Mr. Perfect, only Mr. Right. Everyone has shortcomings.


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## z5500x4 (Dec 7, 2010)

I think my boyfriend is


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## Disfigurine (Jan 1, 2011)

Sorta.

I think I've had a few "soulmates" in my life.

The person I'm with now would definitely fall into such a category if it existed.


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## Master Mind (Aug 15, 2011)

HollyGolightly said:


> Starting to give up on the idea that there is just one person we are meant to be with. Care to reinforce this or restore my faith?  Have you found your soulmate? How do you know? Do you believe in the idea of soulmates?


I never understood this concept.

So... in a world with *7 billion* people in it, there's *one* person out there who's your "soulmate," "the one" whom you are "meant to be" with.

:dry:


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## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

L'Empereur said:


> Nope. I haven't even found a person I can tolerate for more than a hour.


This is my main problem with most people, too. When you do meet someone you don't have an urge to ditch after meeting them, then you hold on to them for good.


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## Helios (May 30, 2012)

If soulmates existed, why do people go through break ups and divorces? But I guess it ultimately depends on one's own definition of the term. I don't think there's such a thing. But I'm pretty young and "naive" so ignore anything I might say about this subject. :happy:


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

Since everything is based on chance and coincidence (although to a lot less extend if you actually do take action) I wouldn't bet on it.

Find someone you're contend with and with whom you can enjoy your time.

Nothing else matters. Then again, if that is your version of a 'soulmate' then I figure you can disregard the first sentence.

Everyone is their own luck's smith.


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## firedell (Aug 5, 2009)

Yes, me and my computer are to never to be parted.


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## perennialurker (Oct 1, 2009)

I think @_viva_ said it best by saying that the problem is not whether a soul mate exists, but rather in sorting through all of the detritus of soul mate look-a-likes. This process can be extremely painful, but I would advise against confusing the desire to avoid feeling the sort pain that comes with the process before successfully finding one's soul mate with the assumption that they must simply not exist. In a way, that is the easy, cowardly way out. Often when people do this they are not rejecting the idea of a soul mate as much as they are running away from the possibility of suffering that comes in the search for the soul mate. Still if someone really wants a soul mate, it seems highly unlikely that they will find much peace of mind by simply giving up.

I too believe in destiny, but that said, one must also recognize that nothing in life worth having comes without great striving and effort. There may be someone out there for everyone, but I don't believe in effortless bliss. Both people have to work for it, even after marriage.

And bear in mind that all of this is coming from an otherwise rational INTJ, so there's got to be hope.


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## Paradox1987 (Oct 9, 2010)

Hmmm, for me the jury is firmly out on the issue of both "the soul" and the "soulmate". I don't see how only one person in a planet of so many can be my kindred soul, surely I must have more than one "soulmate", and I might be a soulmate for a vast number of people. I have been in love with someone and it has it's charms. But "the one" or the "soulmate"? I doubt it, I really do. I personally seek a good life fit teammate. I'm quite loyal too, so I'll do my part to ensure the team succeeds, but if it doesn't then a new teammate is required. I don't like the pressure of being the one soulmate, or the one shot at anything. 

I personally think that settling with your soulmate is an immensely new concept for the human experience, and I can't help but notice the reasons people do settle down into relationships are often for very nuanced reasons. But yeah, the idea is there, so obviously people do believe in and believe they've found a soulmate. So my stance is: it can happen, might not happen; doesn't really matter either way.


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## Rachel Something (Jan 30, 2012)

I don't believe in that one person out there who I am "meant to be with", nor do I want to. Not only does it make no sense to me (come on, we live in a world with over 7 billion people. What are the odds that you're even going to _find_ that one person?) but it also fills people's heads with silly expectations.

I'm more inclined to believe in "the few" or "the many", as opposed to just "the one". I am most likely compatible with a whole range of people - some more than others... and I'm not "meant to be" with any of them. We get together by choice, and we stay together by choice (and through hard work.) Some people will find a partner they're happy with, and some won't. Others may very well end up alone. Some relationships start out wonderful, but eventually wither and die. Just because there is somebody out there who is a good match for you, does not guarantee that you are going to end up with them, or even meet them for that matter. Chance and circumstance play a big part in this...

One problem I have with the whole soulmate idea is that it gives some people this impression that they don't have to work towards maintaining their relationships. It's like they just expect things to fall into place. They don't acknowledge that people grow and change over time. If their relationship fails, then they can just conclude that he/she wasn't their soulmate after all, and then go on to possibly repeat the cycle with someone else.


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## Einstein (Aug 10, 2011)

Just because there is a single person that you're meant to be with doesn't mean that it doesn't at all depend on circumstance. There may be millions of people that have personalities that are compatible with yours, chance and circumstance are also factors. If you never meet most of the 7 billion people on this planet then how can they be potential soulmates? If you're meant to be with someone then you will have the opportunity to be with them. I don't believe that when everyone is born they are meant to be with one specific person someone just because their personalities are the most compatible. With 7 billion people on the planet that would be ridiculous. You have to take the circumstances and experiences that people have in their lives into account. People are who they are not only because of their DNA but because of the experiences they have had and the people that have influenced them. Part of what makes my soulmate the person I'm meant to be with is that I would not be who I am without her. She has changed who I am. The other 7 billion people have not. You have to look beyond personality and mbti.


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## Nekomata (May 26, 2012)

I've been with my boyfriend for four years and I don't think he's my soul mate. Maybe I once did, like I used to think my online ex was my soul mate too. Honestly, for me, they don't exist, and I doubt anyone or anything could prove to me otherwise.


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## AstralSoldier (Jun 18, 2012)

HollyGolightly said:


> This is what they invented alcohol for


My sentiments EXACTLY!!! :laughing:


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## AstralSoldier (Jun 18, 2012)

Hmmm...the idea that someone was placed on this earth SOLELY to change you as a person? Hmmm....looking at it that way, doesn't EVERYONE have the capacity to change us as people and our perspective for the better or worse if we entertain it? I suppose everyone has a soul mate then. I say this because the idea of a 'soul mate' isn't something that can be quantified, or determined outside of belief; you have to believe that this person is your 'soul mate' and they're worth entertaining for the long haul. In the end the choice is really dependent on the belief structure of the person, more so than the objective fact that a soul mate exists for everyone. If that was the case, we could develop tool/machines to pin point our soul mates...which doesn't sound like such a bad idea if you think about it...Ok, I've just managed to convert myself back to the 'positive' charge of soul mates...:laughing:

Personally, for the time being, I'll be emotionally pragmatic and say I'd like someone who I can stand to be around for more than an hour WITHOUT alcohol. Cirrhosis of the Liver isn't on my 'Bucket List' so I'll pass on boozy nights of sex. Not as enjoyable anyway.


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## ForsakenMe (Aug 30, 2010)

Not yet, but I am still believing strongly that I will find him someday. He's out there. I just know it.


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## Yardiff Bey (Jun 5, 2011)

I don't really believe in the concept of soul-mates. If there's only One True Soul Mate for me, and there's a bunch of semi-findable lookalikes out there to filter through to find that One - then God has a nasty sense of humor, making me go looking for my perfect complement instead of having them right there for me, easily found.

Especially if you consider that my soul-mate might be one of the 7 billion people on the other side of the world. Statistically, there's a high chance that they actually live in China or India.

Edit: Image not really relevant.


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## Ramysa (Mar 22, 2012)

Soul mates really exist. I have found mine. It's wonderful. We complete eachother's sentences . We respect and love eachother. We take care of eachother . There is nothing mean abt us and nothing to be misunderstood . It's like being loved the right way without one having to point out how to be done or what they would want.We are both being vulnerable without being afraid of what the other will do with the trust they're provided. There is no fear. And when they say that u might find your soul mate where u least expect.. well.. that was true for me.


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

Ramysa said:


> Soul mates really exist. I have found mine. It's wonderful. We complete eachother's sentences . We respect and love eachother. We take care of eachother . There is nothing mean abt us and nothing to be misunderstood . It's like being loved the right way without one having to point out how to be done or what they would want.We are both being vulnerable without being afraid of what the other will do with the trust they're provided. There is no fear. And when they say that u might find your soul mate where u least expect.. well.. that was true for me.


I wish I found a special relationship like yours.


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## Raichan (Jul 15, 2010)

*Yes I have 

1) He's dreamt of me many years ago even before he's met me. 
2) I still feel butterflies heee *hides*
3) I've never 100% believed in,''you only truly fall in love once'' until present.
4) He is the person who understands me most and loves me in spite of my flaws.
5) I don't feel attraction/feelings towards anyone else when I'm with him. I truly love him and even if anything were to happen that we could not be together and I ended up with someone else, I'd be with the other person for companionship, not for love, because I've never loved anyone else this much.
6) As I write this, it's to remind myself too, and I don't give a flying damn if anyone thinks I'm being cliched or cheesy, because I swear I am being honest.

Thanks for the thread *


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

sharky said:


> I think soul mates exist, but not in the sense that there is one person in the world with whom we are destined to be paired. One person can have many potential mates who would complement their personality and make them happy in a very special way, but who you find depends on circumstance.


That's kind of how I view it too.

(Besides, it would really stink to have just one person who could be your soulmate, but who then dies of pneumonia before you find them or decides that someone else is their soulmate.)

People are also very quick to legimitize feelings for another when the feelings are strong, but it's not certain how long said feelings will endure.

This does add ambiguity to the search, unfortunately. It would be nice if we could just know whether someone we were into was the most suitable person for us. Instead we are asked to make choices and then stick to them. I've found that even people who are kind of different can still grow very close and committed through shared life experience; being together and working through adversity together tends to foster fondness and intimacy and commitment and thus cement the relationship. But it helps in the beginning if you are actually a decent couple and have things in common.

I'm to the point where I'm doubting I'll ever find a "soul mate" as imagined, it's frustrating even knowing where to find someone I might click with.



Yardiff Bey said:


> I don't really believe in the concept of soul-mates. If there's only One True Soul Mate for me, and there's a bunch of semi-findable lookalikes out there to filter through to find that One - then God has a nasty sense of humor, making me go looking for my perfect complement instead of having them right there for me, easily found.
> 
> Especially if you consider that my soul-mate might be one of the 7 billion people on the other side of the world. Statistically, there's a high chance that they actually live in China or India.


There's a great quote Harlan Ellison used for his story "Grail" (I think that was the name -- the protagonist's search for the Grail of True Love, by which to find his "soul mate".) I won't spoil the ending, but either the opening or ending quote is:

"I know that my true friend will appear after my death, and my sweetheart died before I was born."


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## Ramysa (Mar 22, 2012)

strawberryLola said:


> I wish I found a special relationship like yours.


Never stop believing and u will!  I wish u all find your soul mates!


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## Ramysa (Mar 22, 2012)

Raichan said:


> *Yes I have
> 
> 1) He's dreamt of me many years ago even before he's met me.
> 2) I still feel butterflies heee *hides*
> ...


:happy: :wink: I know exacly how u feel.


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## Raichan (Jul 15, 2010)

Ramysa said:


> :happy: :wink: I know exacly how u feel.


Thanks

And you're a fellow INFJ too :kitteh: like me and my INFJ boyfriend


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## BooMonster (May 25, 2012)

My thoughts ...


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## colysan (Feb 27, 2011)

I don't believe in *one* Soulmate, but I do believe in Soulmates.

I'd rather call them life mates. Every person we have a significant relationship with teaches us something about life.
They all have a place in our lives and shape it and us in a very certain way.


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## militaryinteldoesntequate (Jul 30, 2010)

You INFJs are an interesting bunch of cheese-balls.


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## colysan (Feb 27, 2011)

I found the article I was referring to on PT:

Do Soulmates Exist? | Psychology Today


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## Coonsy (Dec 22, 2010)

Einstein said:


> I believe soulmates do exist. I found mine recently. Best feeling in the world.
> 
> However people do change and grow, so while they may be 'meant' to be with someone that doesn't necessarily mean that they are meant to be with them at every point in their life. So it isn't always a waste of time or a bad thing to be in a relationship with someone who is not your soulmate.
> 
> I like the word 'mindmate' better though.:happy:


This is kinda my take on things - unfortunately for me, I've been married for 8 or 9 years (I've lost track) together for 2 years before that. We make a decent enough team, but for several years I've felt like we make a terrible couple. There's a serious lack of anything there - we're like roommates with the occasional benefits. Until recently I could, for the most part, just ignore it and move on with my life. There was nothing too major to cause that kind of upset over just a falling out when there were no arguments, fights or other issues along that line. Now, I've ran into that catalyst, and I'm seriously thinking we need to sit down and discuss the real status of our relationship. It's not a conversation I'm looking forward to, we've been together long enough that it's not going to be easy even if it's mutual.

But the idea of a life-long soulmate? No, I don't think they generally exist. Someone who's your soulmate for a period? Yes, they exist.


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## Einstein (Aug 10, 2011)

MelissaC said:


> This is probably pointless and akin to pounding away at an equine corpse, but I can't help myself.
> 
> You're taking a completely commonplace experience (stumbling upon one of the many people in your compatibility pool at the right place and right time in your lives, happening to "change" each others' lives in some way, thereby developing deep regard for that person when really any number of people in your pool could have done the same, but nonetheless it was them so you appreciate and henceforth place them above all others) and elevating it to a pseudo-spiritual level of "soulmate-dom". It's a series of instances of chance that bring you together and then effort that brings you closer. There's nothing magical or metaphysical about that. Building a framework using words like soulmate around it doesn't change the fact that there's really nothing special about it. Of course you think it's special, because you're the one getting the hormones and warm-fuzzies from it, but in the grand scheme of things that stuff happens every day. How many people getting married today believe they are marrying their soulmate? And please do remind me how many of those heavenly-blessed lovers will wind up divorced and hating each other. But of course they're all mistaken. Of course you're SO REALLY IS your soulmate. They're just idiots, right?
> 
> ...


I find it funny that you think I am a romantic. I am the coldest most intimidating and dreadful person I know.:tongue:

Well I like arguing, so here I go:

First of all it is not that commonplace of an experience. Most people end up in relationships that leave them feeling partly empty inside and don't allow them to use their full potential. That fact that someone becomes your soulmate because they happened to be in the right place at the right time doesn't make it any less special. 

What you're not getting is that someone doesn't become your soulmate until they have changed your life. My ENFJ is my soulmate not just because we have compatible personalities, but because she has changed who I am. She made me her soulmate. And I made her my soulmate. Not by choosing her, but by choosing who I am. Who I am is not based only on my personality, but it is also determined by the experiences I have had and the people that have influenced me. 

Look at it this way. The person I was before I met my soulmate no longer exists. This nonexistent person has many possible soulmates that may one day meet him based upon luck and coincidence. But the person I am now has only one soulmate. She is my soulmate instead of any of the other people because she had a part in my life; in making me who I am. The other people are not my soulmate because they did not. They *could* have, but they didn't and the person who once had the chance to become soulmates with one of them no longer exists.

And even going by your logic there have to be people in this world that are outliers; that have personalities that are so different there is only one other person on the planet that they are compatible with right?


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## MelissaC (May 23, 2012)

Einstein said:


> I find it funny that you think I am a romantic. I am the coldest most intimidating and dreadful person I know.:tongue:
> 
> Well I like arguing, so here I go:
> 
> ...


Per the bolded part, refer to my last response: "You're taking a completely commonplace experience (stumbling upon one of the many people in your compatibility pool at the right place and right time in your lives, *happening to "change" each others' lives in some way, thereby developing deep regard for that person when really any number of people in your pool could have done the same, but nonetheless it was them so *you appreciate and henceforth place them above all others) and elevating it to a pseudo-spiritual level of 'soulmate-dom'."

What was it that I'm "not getting" again?

Per your denial of being a romantic: If those who throw around the term "soulmate" aren't romantics, then my god, who is?

And per your last sentence re: outliers: Humans aren't special little snowflakes. Even the most eccentric of people have pools of compatibility from which to choose. Hell, even psychopathic serial killers have pools of candidates (Women Who Love Serial Killers | Psychology Today).

Like I said, I know a person's relationship is special to _them_, as it is _theirs_, after all. My car is special to me although there are thousands of others just like it in the world. But this one is mine, and the seat and mirrors are just where I like them, my music is downloaded on its radio, and it's developed a "unique" wear and tear that makes the way it drives feel special to me. But at the end of the day I could place it alongside of a hundred others and say to you, "Which GTI is mine?" and you'd say, "Shit, who knows, could be any of them." That's how I feel about your girlfriend. Do I share a spiritual connection with that particular GTI with that particular VIN number? No. It was just the one the dealership happened to have on display with the options I wanted, and now I've owned it for a little while I've projected some of my personality into it and changed it in ways that make it SEEM unique to me. But it's not. There's nothing fucking special about my car.


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## Einstein (Aug 10, 2011)

MelissaC said:


> Per the bolded part, refer to my last response: "You're taking a completely commonplace experience (stumbling upon one of the many people in your compatibility pool at the right place and right time in your lives, *happening to "change" each others' lives in some way, thereby developing deep regard for that person when really any number of people in your pool could have done the same, but nonetheless it was them so *you appreciate and henceforth place them above all others) and elevating it to a pseudo-spiritual level of 'soulmate-dom'."
> 
> What was it that I'm "not getting" again?
> 
> ...


*facepalm*

I am literally banging my head against my desk right now. People are not cars. They are like snowflakes in that no two are the same. but that's not the point. *The point is that person A doesn't exist as the person who is the soulmate of person B until they meet person B.* Person A does not come into being until they realize who their soulmate is. Before that place in time they are a different person that may have thousands of _potential_ soulmates. 

And actually she is not my girlfriend yet.


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## MelissaC (May 23, 2012)

Einstein said:


> *facepalm*
> 
> I am literally banging my head against my desk right now. People are not cars. They are like snowflakes in that no two are the same. but that's not the point. *The point is that person A doesn't exist as the person who is the soulmate of person B until they meet person B.* Person A does not come into being until they realize who their soulmate is. Before that place in time they are a different person that may have thousands of _potential_ soulmates.
> 
> And actually she is not my girlfriend yet.


lol. This is where I bow out, good sir.


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## timeless (Mar 20, 2010)

Let me tell you about my soulmate! Her name is @_Eerie_ and every moment that I'm with her is amazing. We just click at every moment. It's an amazing thing 

She's really a unique and amazing person, I'm so lucky to have her.


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## Lad (Jun 29, 2010)

Searching for a Soulmate is beyond just searching for the person you're meant to be with, but also a path to discovering yourself. Sometimes we lose sight that the journey is just as important as the destination.

I will tell you that I've been in a number of serious relationships in pursuit of my Soulmate. Honestly, each and every relationship was great and I don't regret it one bit, both parties were happy. However, why did things end? Well, because there is a difference between happiness and fulfilment. Sometimes we need to evaluate what kind of relationship we're in and figure out whether its best to take the short term discomfort of loneliness for a greater goal.

I think its this unwavering faith I've had in a Soulmate that has really inspired me to exceed anything I could have ever done alone. Honestly, even when you're single you're never truly alone as long as you realize someone is out there living and breathing for you and just waiting for the right time for you to meet.

The fascinating thing about a Soulmate is that they change, they change in personality and character just ever so slightly just like you do. However, it's not a matter of staying the same, but growing together in the same direction. When you date someone, it's always a matter of figuring out whether you grow together or grow apart.


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## Einstein (Aug 10, 2011)

MelissaC said:


> lol. This is where I bow out, good sir.


What, you don't like a good debate??:kitteh:

Or are you just afraid that I'll convince you that my way of thinking is better?:shocked:


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## Eerie (Feb 9, 2011)

timeless said:


> Let me tell you about my soulmate! Her name is @_Eerie_ and every moment that I'm with her is amazing. We just click at every moment. It's an amazing thing
> 
> She's really a unique and amazing person, I'm so lucky to have her.


I guess this can be summed up as - I'm *amazing.* :happy:


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## GROUNDED_ONE (May 23, 2012)

I think I just struck debating gold with this thread! Clap clap clap OP. 

While we are at it, why don't we throw in, God arguments, Did Noah's ark really happen, and is heaven for real? Just to really bring everyone in and start a cluster frak of a debate.

Do we have souls that are linked to each of us in the living world? Yes I think so. I accept that others don't want to be let down that people can't be in your life forever. This is true for multiple reasons..death..imprisonment..sickness..timing..distance. But it is all about moments and growth. When you approach this concept of soulmate, what you are looking for are multiple pieces to a puzzle. Each meaningful relationship has a piece of your puzzle. These pieces really could be scattered all over the globe. You know those random reoccurring thoughts you have about going to Germany or some far off place. You probably should go, there is someone there that wants to meet you! Does everyone finish a puzzle? No not always, but it's the search for the pieces that is important. 

If you are broken, scared, negative, angry, destructive or a number of excuses we use to keep from seeking truth, well yeah it will be pretty hard to come across these pieces.

This world is not just what you see in front of your face...it isn't math and cold hard steel. Wake up!!! Everything is connected....our souls come through over and over again until we figure out the point of our existence as a human species.

I agree that some are not meant to be confined to one person for their duration in this life. But for some this go round they get to experience life with their "one". 

Boom.

Ain't love grand.


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

Not sure about a "soul mate." I think there are many people a person can be compatible with. 

I haven't found said people, and I'm not too interested either. I'd be more than happy if my life was full of adventure, good friends, great food, and a loyal dog instead.


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## may23991 (Jul 8, 2012)

If one finds a soulmate, then that person is a lucky one.. .because for many finding a soulmate is like a dream that may never come true.... I dont know why but whenever I see my friends madly in love, I secretly wish I had the same but apart from a few relationships... Love is not something I still seek.. A guy to take care of me, love me unconditionally and understand everything without being explained..... To all those who have found a soulmate May God Bless You and never let go of that person you have no idea how lucky you are.... trust me I know....


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## FacePalm (Jun 27, 2012)

where have you been all my life?


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## Raichan (Jul 15, 2010)

militaryinteldoesntequate said:


> You INFJs are an interesting bunch of cheese-balls.


Coming from an INFJ (me) with an equally romantic INFJ boyfriend (soulmate), I am proud of that I earned such a remark  Lol


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## Stelmaria (Sep 30, 2011)

MelissaC said:


> I'm sure it's a fantastic thing to have found even "a" one. But people get themselves into emotional messes when they go around searching for their one and only soulmate.


That's why some of us don't believe in "soulmates", but rather mates for the soul. :wink:

As for me, I'm still looking.


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## MelissaC (May 23, 2012)

Einstein said:


> What, you don't like a good debate??:kitteh:
> 
> Or are you just afraid that I'll convince you that my way of thinking is better?:shocked:


No, I'm bowing out because I'm fairly certain you didn't understand a thing I said, and also because I'm sick of reading the word "soulmate".


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

I wrote this a super long time ago, as an INFJ, the soul mate concept is something I have pondered since puberty, lol ... I pulled it out of MS Word which takes forever to load - So I hope it's appreciated! 

SOUL MATE DEFINED: DANTE'S DIVINE COMEDY
The story begins when Dante falls in love with Beatrice. A young woman he saw from afar when he too was young. The two never met. But Dante was just stricken with her beauty. He spent years trying to deal with his love for her and his sorrow, over her early death. The book is a literary journal, inspired by his love for her; where he travels through hell, purgatory and then, paradise. 

At the gates of hell Dante meets a scholar named Virgil (life-experience) Virgil leads Dante on a quest for the meaning of love. 

The love Dante describes begins when he makes his way through the chambers of hell where he confronts sinners one by one; the self-indulgent, the violent, and the malicious. He begins to realize that everyone in hell is in hell, because he has loved badly. 

The self-indulgent love of lust, gluttony, greed and anger; The violent and their love of control, power;The malicious with their fraud, treachery and manipulation. (toxic and co-dependent relationships)

In purgatory the sin was more psychological than the sin of hell; being based on motives, rather than actions. Again, everyone in purgatory is in purgatory because they have loved badly. Resentful indignation, vengeance, envy or pride. (Relationship is a way of healing our psychological hurts. We generally end up paring ourselves w/ those who most reflect the parent we have the most unresolved issues with. This is psychological science and in my life, I have found this to be true. With each relationship we 'heal' - and eventually we love someone enough to face those old hurts and resolve them)

Allegorically, purgatory is the conversion of the soul from the sorrow and misery of sin to the state of grace. Dante then knows that in order to achieve paradise one must love nothing other than the soul, that which cannot die. That true love is to love the essence of all things, not their physical manifestations. And he learns that it is the obstacles of our own personalities that stand in the way of true love (or Beatrice)

At the peak of purgatory Virgil turns to Dante and crowns him and says “I make you lord and master of your soul. I have gone on this quest with you as far as I can, you must go on your own now” Dante is then born into paradise. Where he finds Beatrice. (or where, he finds himself, the shadows of his soul he forgives,accepts and embraces as he is not more than he will ever be ... humanly imperfect)

Beatrice guides Dante through heaven. There he met those of virtue; fortitude, justice, temperance and the prudent whose wisdom lighted the way for all the other virtues. And finally those of the virtues of faith, hope and love. (A healthy relationship where both parties COMMIT to the well being and happiness of the other, thereby increasing their own happiness w/out self righteous indignation, self gratification, etc ...)

It then becomes clear that Dante’s love for Beatrice was not leading Dante to her but rather to God. 

He learned that the object of love is always God. And that God and man together are the formula of love. 

That the experience of true love, focuses us not in finding out ‘WHO’ we are, but in ‘BEING’ who we are. Thus creating ourselves into WHO we want to be. That’s what we all innately want (I believe). The Courage of another persons heart inspiring us to be strong and the strength of another persons heart inspiring courage. 

Personally, my love will never be about the person I am in love with per se, it’s to see god in another person’s eyes. And to reflect God into theirs. (God representing a persons FULL POTENTIAL) Nobody is perfect. INFJ's are misunderstood in that people think we seek and won't take less than perfect. No. Perfection is in the pursuit. There is no destination.

THE END. Hope you like.


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## Vivid Melody (Apr 25, 2011)

I go back and forth with this. I don't really believe they exist - don't believe in only one possibility. I do believe in chance but I also believe in something beyond chance. Some things are just too...lucky or perhaps it's just my perception of things.

All I know is I can't imagine being with anyone else more right/perfect for me, not even another INFJ. It's not just because we're both INFJ's or that our enneagrams are so similar - it's everything else in between. All the small differences in the right areas too. Maybe it's better not to question these things and just be thankful.

My husband tells me that his parents realized that there were multiple times where they could have met throughout their lives. I thought that was interesting. So while I believe everything is run by chance and choice, some things are just too coincidental, ya know? Makes you wonder.


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## A Little Bit of Cheeze (Apr 21, 2012)

HollyGolightly said:


> Starting to give up on the idea that there is just one person we are meant to be with. Care to reinforce this or restore my faith?  Have you found your soulmate? How do you know? Do you believe in the idea of soulmates?
> 
> Thoughts thoughts thoughts =]


I have no intent on sounding like a emotionless jerk, but maybe you should give up on the concept. Not to say that you couldn't love somebody though...

I find that it all depends on a person, whether they _choose _to make that certain person their 'soul mate'. I mean people fall in love all the time and they can choose to make it work and whatnot but I don't see that as being predestined soul mates. 

I thinking the point I'm trying to get across is that there isn't just _one. _

I don't think this came out too clearly...


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

I don't believe in soul mates. I think some people are extremely compatible, and it's a very rare thing, but I doubt there is only one person who can match you.

I have found somebody who complements me perfectly, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. We make each other incredibly happy, and we seem compatible in every area. We don't have to compromise our values or nature in order to have a strong relationship, and we want the same things in life. He is the perfect combination of brilliant, kindhearted, fun, attractive, high energy, creative, sexy... all the things I could ask for in a partner and then some. Of course he has his ups and downs, just like any human. He is also extremely stubborn and difficult to handle, has a strong personality which most people struggle to keep up with, and can be very hurtful and judgmental when he feels threatened. But we've come to a point where we accept each other, flaws and all, and are trying to create a strong communication in order to help each other rather than arguing. It is definitely a fight, and far from an easy one. We have the power to truly heal each other, which means that when used incorrectly we can really hurt each other by accident. It has taken a lot of courage, dedication to self-improvement and open communication for us to get this far. The important thing is that it's worth every minute of the struggle, because we really do make each other's lives better in many ways. And someday, I know we will create something beautiful together.


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## Einstein (Aug 10, 2011)

devoid said:


> I don't believe in soul mates. I think some people are extremely compatible, and it's a very rare thing, but I doubt there is only one person who can match you.
> 
> I have found somebody who complements me perfectly, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. We make each other incredibly happy, and we seem compatible in every area. We don't have to compromise our values or nature in order to have a strong relationship, and we want the same things in life. He is the perfect combination of brilliant, kindhearted, fun, attractive, high energy, creative, sexy... all the things I could ask for in a partner and then some. Of course he has his ups and downs, just like any human. He is also extremely stubborn and difficult to handle, has a strong personality which most people struggle to keep up with, and can be very hurtful and judgmental when he feels threatened. But we've come to a point where we accept each other, flaws and all, and are trying to create a strong communication in order to help each other rather than arguing. It is definitely a fight, and far from an easy one. We have the power to truly heal each other, which means that when used incorrectly we can really hurt each other by accident. It has taken a lot of courage, dedication to self-improvement and open communication for us to get this far. The important thing is that it's worth every minute of the struggle, because we really do make each other's lives better in many ways. And someday, I know we will create something beautiful together.


There is only one person who can match you once you find your soulmate though.


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

MindBomb said:


> Strong attraction.
> 
> What I was trying to falsify, if you will, was the following: 20+ years ago, I felt an instant connection with someone; something I would have described to you at the time as my "soul-mate" or "mind-mate." I wouldn't describe that connection that way now. What I'm hinting at is that we're projecting our current experience of love and attraction...To me, when you are ________ - mates, it implies permanency.
> 
> But, you know what? In the end, it doesn't really matter how we describe the strong connection we have with other people. I just hope that it doesn't create those false expectations, that's all.


Well I've experienced a connection like that, which transcends time apart, and also sex. Some connections are permanent.


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

series0 said:


> I think NK and the Divine Comedy have it right. Find your connection to God and you will find love. If you do that, you can spread that power, that consummation, by way of example and the waves of that union will spread wisdom in your wake. Do not do that, or more to the point, seek an imbalanced love, lacking in spiritual truth, and you will spread immaturity and hell in your wake.
> 
> The soul mate to me is just one more illusion you have trying to lead you off the path to spiritual truth, to awareness and understanding of yourself and your belonging. I do indeed find others that resonate for lack of a better word what I have learned as spiritual truths. Although they are far flung and fleeting amid my life I cling to the precious moments I share with them to live as often as I can in that state of being close to accepting that I to belong. Thousands of distractions seek to dissuade me from that truth and as these resonant people get more distant, their visits or their presence less frequent, it becomes harder to stay the course and resonate belonging myself, to demonstrate it in places where none but what I bring with me is being shown by those present. So, in a way everyone is a soul mate, just precious few of them understand that enough to be one back fully. I ask forgiveness for the times when I am not able to be one back fully myself.


Well to be honest, I felt it a metaphor. Not god as in god chilling on a cloud with a beard. 

but in that story IMO lays an amazingly insightful metaphor to understand that we may love many times in this life. But the love of a soul mate or mind mate is such a rare thing that it's no wonder Dante felt it paradise .


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## xisnotx (Mar 20, 2014)

Why is it on me to find my soulmate? Has my soulmate found me? It's not like I'm hiding, I'm right here!


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## Fern (Sep 2, 2012)

After 13 pages, I doubt I have anything fresh to bring to the table  But I'll add my two cents in any-whey!

I believe in different levels of soul mates... I think that people meet different soul mates throughout their lives in the forms of a pal, a pet, a lover.

I don't know if there's one end-all-be-all, capital-S Soul mate out there.... I mean, it's a lovely thought  But can I afford to believe in that?

I have an undeniable connection with my current boyfriend, and I have shared parts of me I have never shared with another (I'm not talking about sex exclusively either). I've been honest, exposed, vulnerable even. And he has been with me. That joy of "I've never said that to anyone else before" along with the fear that accompanies it and all.

He once told me that he didn't believe in soul mates but if he did, I'd be his... Do I believe that? Who knows.

But he's a good man.


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## intp_gurl (Mar 8, 2014)

Yes, I believe I have found my soul mate. 

I wasn't looking for a relationship. I had given up on the idea of having a partner in life. I had just given up on ever being with someone. Then I needed someone to help me get something done. One of my family members had just met someone who was able to help me, but they didn't really know him. But said I just met this person .....call him, so I did.

After meeting 3 times about the matter to be resolved.....he yelled out...I won't stop until I get you. 

I thought to myself, this man is nuts....but oh well I still need his help...so I'll continue to work with him with the issue I needed resolved. Long story short....he did get me. I'm madly in love, and I know we both want to be together in life.

I do believe there are many possibilities for a soul mate. But when the person and timing is right, then the possible soul mate, becomes the one you were waiting for.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

Animal said:


> I prefer "mind mate," but that aside...
> 
> When we meet someone who stirs us to the core, we feel vulnerable. Then we will go to great lengths to protect ourselves, even do stupid things, or things that are inadvertently cruel. Even the most reasonable, dignified, respectful person will falter when feeling vulnerable. The eyes of a soul mate unravel you, make you feel naked. When your humanity is exposed, your animal instinct is to protect it.
> 
> ...


this is soo ..breathtaking. thank you.


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## Winters (Apr 7, 2014)

intp_gurl said:


> Yes, I believe I have found my soul mate.
> 
> I wasn't looking for a relationship. I had given up on the idea of having a partner in life. I had just given up on ever being with someone. Then I needed someone to help me get something done. One of my family members had just met someone who was able to help me, but they didn't really know him. But said I just met this person .....call him, so I did.
> 
> ...


That is so sweet. Could make a movie out of that one


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## o_canard (Oct 7, 2013)

Um, I believe we have more than one soulmate. I have met people who have touched my heart in special ways, yes. 

Sent from my SM-N900W8 using Tapatalk


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## intp_gurl (Mar 8, 2014)

Elderly New York couple die hours apart holding hands after 60-year vow that heâ€™d never leave herÂ* - NY Daily News

Soulmate couple in real life. 

According to NY daily news....One couple in New York married for 60 years dies hours apart and hand in hand. He was always by her side and she always by his side.*

Elderly New York couple die hours apart holding hands after 60-year vow that heâ€™d never leave herÂ* - NY Daily News

True and long lasting love is so hard to find. Im so happy they were able to experience this.


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## Kyandigaru (Mar 11, 2012)

I have no idea where the fuck mines is. I hope he don't have some kinds of criminal record or substance abuser. ugh...I wonder when I get married to mines, will I still be apart of this board and share him with you all?


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## Yamato (Dec 21, 2014)

HollyGolightly said:


> Starting to give up on the idea that there is just one person we are meant to be with. Care to reinforce this or restore my faith?  Have you found your soulmate? How do you know? Do you believe in the idea of soulmates?
> 
> Thoughts thoughts thoughts =]


well no not yet , but i keep looking . ill let you know when i do find my soulmate


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## MetaMD (Apr 9, 2016)

HollyGolightly said:


> This is what they invented alcohol for


We can't be drunk every moment of our life. LOL


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## ai.tran.75 (Feb 26, 2014)

I used to not believe in Soul Mate but then I lost my phone - my istp found it and everything about us just click and combine- everything I'm good at he's horrible with and vice versa but we are intrigue by each other's differences - we always have opposite body temperature and it comes to the point where I can just look at him and know what he wants/feel and vice versa- I feel whole when I'm with him like the world can crash down and we would still have each other - pretty sure I found mine 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Vahyavishdapaya (Sep 2, 2014)

There's no such thing lads, don't fall into the trap.


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## Jordgubb (Oct 5, 2013)

I don't believe in the romantic fantasy of a soulmate. Friendships I have had for years could be my friend-soulmates in a nonsexual way.


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## Acrylic (Dec 14, 2015)

HollyGolightly said:


> Starting to give up on the idea that there is just one person we are meant to be with


Of course there's no such thing lol. What if that one person was in North Korea? Or on a mountaintop somewhere in Tibet? Then you'd never be able to get to them, so how could they be destined to be the only person for you lol.

I do believe in the aspects of the 'soulmate' thing... but not in that there is literally one specified person in the population you're supposed to be with. I think it's more of a frequency... people can vary in how close to your frequency they are, and since frequencies are very specific and distinct, when someone is on the same frequency as you, that's equivalent to 'soulmate'.


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## MetaMD (Apr 9, 2016)

ai.tran.75 said:


> I used to not believe in Soul Mate but then I lost my phone - my istp found it and everything about us just click and combine- everything I'm good at he's horrible with and vice versa but we are intrigue by each other's differences - we always have opposite body temperature and it comes to the point where I can just look at him and know what he wants/feel and vice versa- I feel whole when I'm with him like the world can crash down and we would still have each other - pretty sure I found mine
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Your story is so amazing and heart warming! 

I wonder what is your MBTI type?


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## Crimson Ash (May 16, 2012)

In my experience there isn't one singular soulmate. 

There exist out there multiple souls that we can find kinship with.

The question is whether their soul is tuned to the same wavelength as your own when they meet.


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## ai.tran.75 (Feb 26, 2014)

MetaMD said:


> Your story is so amazing and heart warming!
> 
> I wonder what is your MBTI type?


I'm enfp


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## MetaMD (Apr 9, 2016)

@ai.tran.75

It is good that you find NF and ST complementing each other.  

I used to think that intuitor and sensor don't have easy time getting their ideas across. I guess MBTI types don't represent everything. There are still other factors involved in a relationship. It is probably not easy to figure out the formula.


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## Word Dispenser (May 18, 2012)

The word causes me to experience a slight inner-cringe.

First, it would require me to rationalize the idea of 'soul', and what that truly means to me, and what it encompasses. That's going to take more than one conversation/argument. So, instead, I will look at the objective, popular definition of 'soulmate'.

The idea that one person can complete you, and you can complete them, and that everything falls into place, and birds sing and the angel choir rejoices?

It seems a lot less epic than that when I observe healthy, happy relationships in the real world. They work well together, they have similar interests, and they like being together. And things work out between them really well. They get along, and there's nothing that could drive them apart. 

I don't know how many people are like that for each and every individual. People are different, and some people are easier to get along with than others.

But, there poses a problem with that as well. What if you're really open minded, and easygoing-- So much so, that you just end up picking up your partner's interests in order to bridge the gap? And maybe your own interests fall on the wayside. Already, there's an imbalance in the relationship. 

It's just so complex, even if it seems like it should be easy. People can be in a relationship and never fight-- Not even need to fight. Two people just getting along and being happy together. Why _can't _it be that easy?


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## Miniblini (Jun 4, 2014)

Is it pathetic and Lame if I say my dog is my soul-mate? 

Also, do you think they is a name equivalent for "crazy cat lady"?


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## MetaMD (Apr 9, 2016)

Miniblini said:


> Is it pathetic and Lame if I say my dog is my soul-mate?
> 
> Also, do you think they is a name equivalent for "crazy cat lady"?


 Soul mates can be anything other than your significant other. S.O. in many cultures serves as the role to stabilize extended family bond and societal expectations, and therefore soul mates may not fit S.O. position. I agree with other people that mindmate is a clearer term than soulmate. 

I enjoy your floor quote. LOL


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## MetaMD (Apr 9, 2016)

Word Dispenser said:


> What if you're really open minded, and easygoing-- So much so, that you just end up picking up your partner's interests in order to bridge the gap?


You self answered the question why can't people be in a relationship and never fight? 

Answer: "if you're really open minded, and easygoing-- So much so, that you just end up picking up your partner's interests in order to bridge the gap." Picking up partner's interests to bridge the gap is the solution because every one is different individual. Unless you clone yourself, you are not going to find the exact soul mate that matches you 100%.


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## Word Dispenser (May 18, 2012)

MetaMD said:


> You self answered the question why can't people be in a relationship and never fight?
> 
> Answer: "if you're really open minded, and easygoing-- So much so, that you just end up picking up your partner's interests in order to bridge the gap." Picking up partner's interests to bridge the gap is the solution because every one is different individual. Unless you clone yourself, you are not going to find the exact soul mate that matches you 100%.


I meant at the sacrifice of one's own interests. It's a fine line to walk before instead of sharing interests, you're assimilating and losing yourself.


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## Emerald Legend (Jul 13, 2010)

I'm almost 30 and never dated..so I'm guessing I never will.


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## Crimson Ash (May 16, 2012)

Word Dispenser said:


> I meant at the sacrifice of one's own interests. It's a fine line to walk before instead of sharing interests, you're assimilating and losing yourself.



How does this work though? If a relationship is strong enough certainly a mutual appreciation and devotion to each others interests naturally evolves. 

But how does it go from there to completely losing yourself in your partners interests and never going back to your own?


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## MetaMD (Apr 9, 2016)

Word Dispenser said:


> I meant at the sacrifice of one's own interests. It's a fine line to walk before instead of sharing interests, you're assimilating and losing yourself.


You can incorporate both your interests and S.O's interests into life. I do understand it takes time away from being purely yourself. However, isn't relationship about both partners?


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## Razare (Apr 21, 2009)

No such thing. And if you found one, it's just bad I think.


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## Peter (Feb 27, 2010)

HollyGolightly said:


> Starting to give up on the idea that there is just one person we are meant to be with. Care to reinforce this or restore my faith?  Have you found your soulmate? How do you know? Do you believe in the idea of soulmates?
> 
> Thoughts thoughts thoughts =]


This might help,... (but you do need to know some math to understand what he really means.)






To help out a little,.... there are thousands of people out there that could be a soulmate.

Soulmates you become, It's not like the soulmate already exists and you just have to find him/her.

So if there is no one out there that would do,.... the problem is within you, because they are out there by the millions and by the thousands in your region and by the hundreds in your town and probably a dozen in you neighborhood and at least 1 in your street or nearby streets.

Maybe you should get out more often?


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## nichya (Jul 12, 2014)

I think I have met mine, unfortunately. I do believe in a soul mate, I doubt there are multiple of them. People can move us in different ways perhaps but to me that connection is beyond this space-time, it feels as if from past lives you have known each other. You just feel the electric. Jung believes falling in love happens at the unconscious where anima/animus complement each other. I think almost all relationships today are terribly pragmatic.

Oh well, let's hope I am wrong.


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## Morfy (Dec 3, 2013)

Maybe.
:/


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## Word Dispenser (May 18, 2012)

Crimson Ash said:


> How does this work though? If a relationship is strong enough certainly a mutual appreciation and devotion to each others interests naturally evolves.
> 
> But how does it go from there to completely losing yourself in your partners interests and never going back to your own?


It happens when your partner does not care to mutually share interests. 

In a healthy relationship, it shouldn't be an issue, unless you don't communicate what you want.


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## Word Dispenser (May 18, 2012)

MetaMD said:


> You can incorporate both your interests and S.O's interests into life. I do understand it takes time away from being purely yourself. However, isn't relationship about both partners?


Of course, this is what happens when you have a healthy, open, communicative relationship.

However, if your partner is selfish and does not take an interest in what you enjoy, that's when there is a risk. Especially if you are a giving, easygoing person who adapts and doesn't wish to cause a fuss. Little by little, you end up sacrificing more and more to make the other person happy, while your interests, and needs/wants become neglected, because they simply care more about their own perspective. Make sense?


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## Crimson Ash (May 16, 2012)

Word Dispenser said:


> It happens when your partner does not care to mutually share interests.
> 
> In a healthy relationship, it shouldn't be an issue, unless you don't communicate what you want.



So an essentially unequal and unhealthy relationship then.


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## Word Dispenser (May 18, 2012)

Crimson Ash said:


> So an essentially unequal and unhealthy relationship then.


Yes.

Which even a so-called 'soulmate' relationship can be. :kitteh: A relationship requires some work and understanding on both sides.


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## Word Dispenser (May 18, 2012)

Emerald Legend said:


> I'm almost 30 and never dated..so I'm guessing I never will.


I turn 30 today, and I haven't ever been on a 'date'. :kitteh: 

But, I'm optimistic. I'm sure it'll happen.


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## Crimson Ash (May 16, 2012)

Word Dispenser said:


> Yes.
> 
> Which even a so-called 'soulmate' relationship can be. :kitteh: A relationship requires some work and understanding on both sides.



Of course. Anyone who believes that everything will magically align and no one will get hurt and its all sunshine and rainbows in the future might have never actually been in a serious relationship and possibly has let fiction and fantasy take a far stronger hold in their minds that it should be allowed to.

However when I talk of soulmate relationships I take of a deep almost instance connection that is felt across your entire being. Encompassing mind, body and spirit. Where each others emotional and intellectual thinking is on the same level and the physical chemistry is almost insatiable.

Yet as I said this does not mean no problems going forward. Life goals, expectations, aspirations and outlooks can all cause problems in the future. This is where the strength of love and trust in the relationship comes into practice. And as you mentioned this is where the work and understanding needs to be employed from both sides.


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## MetaMD (Apr 9, 2016)

Word Dispenser said:


> Of course, this is what happens when you have a healthy, open, communicative relationship.
> 
> However, if your partner is selfish and does not take an interest in what you enjoy, that's when there is a risk. Especially if you are a giving, easygoing person who adapts and doesn't wish to cause a fuss. Little by little, you end up sacrificing more and more to make the other person happy, while your interests, and needs/wants become neglected, because they simply care more about their own perspective. Make sense?


Sorry it doesn't make sense. 

If your partner is selfish, why do you choose to be with him in the first place? Selfish is the most unwanted quality in a relationship. Ok. I got the idea if you chose him so you have to stuck with him idea, but if you have to sacrifice more and more for him, this relationship is fragile and can fall apart in any minute. Then, why do you need to bother to maintain it? Are you talking about a relationship that both partners don't communicate and just live separate ways? Is this a relationship per say? This sounds more like 2 roommates to me. Not sure if there will still be love.


----------



## Word Dispenser (May 18, 2012)

MetaMD said:


> Sorry it doesn't make sense.
> 
> If your partner is selfish, why do you choose to be with him in the first place? Selfish is the most unwanted quality in a relationship. Ok. I got the idea if you chose him so you have to stuck with him idea, but if you have to sacrifice more and more for him, this relationship is fragile and can fall apart in any minute. Then, why do you need to bother to maintain it? Are you talking about a relationship that both partners don't communicate and just live separate ways? Is this a relationship per say? This sounds more like 2 roommates to me. Not sure if there will still be love.


Well, sometimes it's not something you choose. It's something you get stuck in. I was stuck in an abusive, controlling relationship for 6 years. It took a lot of courage to finally leave him several months ago.

It's not always this severe though. A lot of people are simply very giving and loving, and put their focus on their partner, neglecting their own needs. They might not even be aware of it. They give more and more, happily, and their partner takes happily. It may even appear, for all intents and purposes, happy! But, it's unbalanced.


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## MetaMD (Apr 9, 2016)

@luinecu 

Thank you for sharing your experience!  Just wonder what's your MBTI type?


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## Diophantine (Nov 24, 2011)

johnnyyukon said:


> um, first was in high school, but we just never got bored with each other ever. i don't know her type (ENFJ?) but she was tough, always ready to debate stuff for fun. just very stimulating gal.
> 
> 2nd was probably an INTP, she smarter than me and so very stimulating (guess that's a key word), very very loving. I only hesitate on her as a soulmate cuz i was just stupid in love with her. the kind that takes over a bit and can cloud your judgement. and i don't necessarily think that means "soulmate." she threw me for a loop though and kind of set the standard for all the future gfs.
> 
> ...


This makes me wonder, do guys often tend to compare potential romantic interests to their previous GF's? 

I've only had one long-term boyfriend (and quite a few shorter-term "interests") but I almost never compare new people to the previous ones. There might be things that randomly remind me of them, but I never think "oh he is not as a good as my previous SO/crush, I need to raise the bar". It's all about solely the other person. Are guys not like that?!


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## peter pettishrooms (Apr 20, 2015)

Soulmates? 

Don't believe in them.


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## johnnyyukon (Nov 8, 2013)

Diophantine said:


> This makes me wonder, do guys often tend to compare potential romantic interests to their previous GF's?
> 
> I've only had one long-term boyfriend (and quite a few shorter-term "interests") but I almost never compare new people to the previous ones. There might be things that randomly remind me of them, but I never think "oh he is not as a good as my previous SO/crush, I need to raise the bar". It's all about solely the other person. Are guys not like that?!


um, well when it comes to those few relationships that were just so awesome, it's kind of hard not to. but it's not like it's constant. even when I'm with a temporary gf, I'm not thinking "dang! she just doesn't have the same laugh." '

And a lot of it is just the IDEA of the past gfs. But for example, when I started dating the last gf (a soulmate) i completely forgot all about the previous gf (even though she wasn't a "one" she was still stuck in my mind here and there). 

I may be going out on a limb, but if you're not at least subconsciously comparing a current partner to a previous, more compatible, healthy one, they must not have been that wonderful. 

I think I was kind of cursed with the 2nd of the 3 cuz i was 19 and she was a CATCH. To this day (10 years later) she's still beautiful and when I see her over the holidays or whatever, my heart still skips a beat. kinda crazy. 

She set the standard pretty high, but again, it was more her qualities than actually "her" if that makes sense. 

It's like, how do you go back to drinking dirty ass popov vodka after you've had Grey Goose?


But I've also fallin' in love with women, after spending enough time with them, when I was certain I was too jaded from the last gf to do so. 

I think it's all kind of gender neutral, could be wrong.

But I've also dated a LOT of women. So lots of experience with alllll kinds.


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## johnnyyukon (Nov 8, 2013)

MetaMD said:


> @johnnyyukon
> 
> Thank you so much for elaborating on your soulmates! Just wonder what's your MBTI type?


Anytime, honey pot.

ya know you can click on that um, non smiley face under people's avatar and their type is usually there, BUT I'm ENTP to the bone.


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## johnnyyukon (Nov 8, 2013)

MetaMD said:


> If there are multiple soulmates, and there are multiple people we can have extreme physical, emotional and intellectual chemistry with, this pretty much just describes the common modern dating scene. People date to find some compatible, and some not compatible. Where is the term soulmate from? Is soulmate another name for those we find good compatibility? I am just confused. I think soulmate sounds like it is the destiny, but are there multiple possible destinies in one life time? If there are multiple destinies, it means we choose our life, then there is not such thing as fate. Then, there is no such thing as soulmate, right?
> 
> We can simply meet people until we meet that person with extreme physical, emotional and intellectual compatibility, and we have to make sure that person also have the same life goals as we have now, and those goals will be the same 20 - 40 years from now.


hold your horses, Deep Thought. Soulmate is just a word. And it has many connotations. 

for me, I think "kindred spirit" is probably more accurate, with maybe more romance. I'd probably say I have a handful of guy friends that are "soulmates" but I wouldn't call them that or my Man card will be revoked.


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## Notus Asphodelus (Jan 20, 2015)

Honestly, I have not yet ready to accept this concept of a soulmate. Despite finding love in the most unexpected way, me and my S.O. do not actually complement each other in terms of the way we think and do. We have so little in common. Yet, we are still bound to each other by some unknown cosmic forces that is adamantly wanting me to learn its secrets.


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## Diophantine (Nov 24, 2011)

johnnyyukon said:


> um, well when it comes to those few relationships that were just so awesome, it's kind of hard not to. but it's not like it's constant. even when I'm with a temporary gf, I'm not thinking "dang! she just doesn't have the same laugh." '
> 
> And a lot of it is just the IDEA of the past gfs. But for example, when I started dating the last gf (a soulmate) i completely forgot all about the previous gf (even though she wasn't a "one" she was still stuck in my mind here and there).
> 
> ...



yeah, they weren't that great, I guess. It was a highschool relationship that went on a little into part of my college years, and as an LDR thing it was even less good. Honestly I now realize that I never really had a relationship as *awesome* as the ones you describe. Most of them were pseudo-relationships where both us were dating (and not even that romantically) and never really going to the "relationship-relationship" step. Maybe I'm too young though.


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## MetaMD (Apr 9, 2016)

@johnnyyukon

I just realized how to find people's MBTI after posting that question. lol
However, not every one list their MBTI in the profile so it is still a polite way to ask for it.


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## MetaMD (Apr 9, 2016)

johnnyyukon said:


> hold your horses, Deep Thought. Soulmate is just a word. And it has many connotations.
> 
> for me, I think "kindred spirit" is probably more accurate, with maybe more romance. I'd probably say I have a handful of guy friends that are "soulmates" but I wouldn't call them that or my Man card will be revoked.


I think people complicate issues by using all kinds of sugar-coating terms. Just call it mind mate with romance. Many connotations are what make this world complicated. 

One new age book says soulmates can be friends, not necessary lovers. Its concept is describing soulmates as a group of souls reincarnate to earth and meeting each other during different life times. If they happen to be born as the same sex, and they are heterosexual, they will be best friends. I did have a few mindmate friends. Anyway, what I am clarifying here is that's just agree to use the same term to call the same thing to simplify life.


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## luinecu (Mar 22, 2016)

MetaMD said:


> @luinecu
> 
> Thank you for sharing your experience!  Just wonder what's your MBTI type?


INFJ, sorry I forgot to say!


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## Kore (Aug 10, 2012)

MetaMD said:


> I think people complicate issues by using all kinds of sugar-coating terms. *Just call it mind mate with romance. *Many connotations are what make this world complicated.
> 
> One new age book says soulmates can be friends, not necessary lovers. Its concept is describing soulmates as a group of souls reincarnate to earth and meeting each other during different life times. If they happen to be born as the same sex, and they are heterosexual, they will be best friends. I did have a few mindmate friends. Anyway, what I am clarifying here is that's just agree to use the same term to call the same thing to simplify life.


No, I'll describe things the way I want. Thanks teacher, you're excused.


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## ParetoCaretheStare (Jan 18, 2012)

I think soulmates seem to enter your life after you have ingested highly potent psychedelic drugs for you realize they are only your soulmates since you can never touch them, taste them, or even be with them!


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## Nesta (Jan 17, 2015)

I do believe in soulmates, not just in a romantic partner way but also in a best friend platonic way. I have had 3 soulmates in my life, one is my husband and the other two were friends of the same sex. 

I have had other friends and dated other people but it just wasn't the same spark and connection of the heart.


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

Yes.


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## MetaMD (Apr 9, 2016)

@Animal

You guys look adorable. 
You are INFP. What's your S.O.'s MBTI?


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

MetaMD said:


> @_Animal_
> 
> You guys look adorable.
> You are INFP. What's your S.O.'s MBTI?


I am INFP 4w3 8w9 - either 5w6 or 7w6 headfix.. Sx/So.

he is INFJ 4w3 1w9 7w6 Sp/Sx 

TWO NF 4s holy moly!!


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## MetaMD (Apr 9, 2016)

@Animal

Looks like you guys are compatible in many aspects. So happy for you.


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

MetaMD said:


> @_Animal_
> 
> Looks like you guys are compatible in many aspects. So happy for you.


He is my soulmate 


I will show you our wedding ceremony speech. It's a true story.

How I Recognized my Soulmate - Xenning Around

I have other posts about it too of course. This is a short one.

Icarus Be Damned - Xenning Around


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## MetaMD (Apr 9, 2016)

@Animal

What a captivated story! Where did you guys find each other? Are you guys look just like the man and woman in the dreams? Did you guys recognize each other at the first sight? How old were you guys that time? How long you guys have been dating before deciding to marry? I know too many questions, but I am a thinker. I need data to analyze.


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

@MetaMD
Almost asleep..I will tell you soon!


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## MetaMD (Apr 9, 2016)

@Animal

I am so excited to hear the first testified soulmate story in my life. :kitteh:


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## Acrylic (Dec 14, 2015)

.


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## Mange (Jan 9, 2011)

I have not. WHEREFORE ART THOU?? DOEST THOU DWELLETH ON PERC? PERHAPS OUR PATHS DOTH CROSS AND WE DO NOT KNOW. *sigh* woe am I.


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## GoodOldDreamer (Sep 8, 2011)

I believe I have. And it's crazy how it turned out too. Not exactly what I expected, but who wants the normal fairy tale dream anyway? Boring! And she never is. roud:


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## MetaMD (Apr 9, 2016)

Is soulmate a feeler type of thing, and mindmate a thinker type of thing? :ninja:


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)




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## vimalahot (May 2, 2014)

soulmates don't really exist.


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

MetaMD said:


> Is soulmate a feeler type of thing, and mindmate a thinker type of thing? :ninja:


Well I'm a feeler and I more believe in a mindmate.

I love the depiction of two people playing chess.










Maybe it's the Taoist in me, idk. 

I could believe in soulmates too though. (Well, again, I think I used to...but then I'd never really broken it down). Trying to figure out what that means. As a Ni dom it would have to mean something. Like I'd need something to tie it to. (Kind of like the chess depiction).

I like the idea that it's the people who make life come to life though.


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## koalaroo (Nov 25, 2011)

"Soulmate" is kind of a creepy concept, especially since it's most frequently bandied about by people with NPD or BPD who have the least amount of self awareness.


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## TTIOTBSAL (May 26, 2014)

No. If I have it seems I'll never know now. And probably won't meet anyone. It's then you do know you are a lone soul.


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## Hao (Apr 20, 2016)

*No, but I can only hope...*


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## Kaisikudo (Mar 26, 2011)

Yes. But it's not a 1:1 ratio. You can potentially find more than one soul-mate within your lifetime, if you're extremely lucky.

Have you ever thought to actually ask why a person might be your soul-mate? What if it's because thousands of years ago, you once shared the same soul.


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

Kaisikudo said:


> Have you ever thought to actually ask why a person might be your soul-mate? What if it's because thousands of years ago, you once shared the same soul.


Ooh, I really liked that scene. Never seen the movie.

You know, that would fit into the "it's the people who make life come alive" theory though I'd posted. If your soul is a fractal of what it once was, then piecing it back together would maximize energy.

I think, ultimately, we're all the same soul.

But some vibe on similar frequencies more so than others. Or just provide something beyond the materialistic and day to day that others can't.


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## koalaroo (Nov 25, 2011)

Also, souls don't have sex or gender, so there's no way for them to be "mates".

:wink:


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

koalaroo said:


> Also, souls don't have sex or gender, so there's no way for them to be "mates".
> 
> :wink:


Why not?


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## koalaroo (Nov 25, 2011)

Veggie said:


> Why not?


Gender is a construct of brains and societies. The mind is not the same as the brain, and the soul is not the same as either the mind or the brain.


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## Macrosapien (Apr 4, 2010)

koalaroo said:


> Gender is a construct of brains and societies. The mind is not the same as the brain, and the soul is not the same as either the mind or the brain.



whats the soul?


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## koalaroo (Nov 25, 2011)

Macrosapien said:


> whats the soul?


Well, it depends on whether you have spirituality or religion, and where either of those lead you. The concept of a soul is antithetic to atheism, for instance.


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

koalaroo said:


> Gender is a construct of brains and societies. The mind is not the same as the brain, and the soul is not the same as either the mind or the brain.


Alright, so I'm going to take you on a woo woo ride @koalaroo, and I know how much you love that :laughing::tongue:

...so I'm sorry for holding you hostage by post quoting you.

I _agree _ that the soul exists outside of the mind or brain. That's why I said that "mind mate" actually makes more sense to me and that I've been having a hard time figuring out what a soul mate is (I agree there's a separation ...or?) ...though I generally still equate that with _special_ feels, and I just don't see the point in being in a monogamous relationship without them (special feels).
@Animal and her husband glow in their pictures to me. I don't think that "glow" (aura) is so made up either. People used to be able to determine pregnancy that way (some still do).

I once had this psychic experience that blew my mind where I became convinced that my sister was my soul mate. I'd been posting a lot about Peter Pan and Tinkerbell (enneagram seven stuff) and Jung, and where he gets the gift "from Wendy" (my sister's name) that had really been from Hook...and all these weird Ni synapses connected and I wasn't sure What to feel anymore. About anything. Obviously, the way that most people would view a "soul mate" - claiming it to be your sister is perverse.

Maybe that's why I chose the picture of two women playing chess. (Cool side note...I just saw Huntsman Winters War and it begins with two sisters playing chess). 

The more I explore all these bizarre connections though...the more life comes alive again. (I'd been depersonalized and depressed). I've been digging into all of these archetypal ideals about brotherhoods vs. sisterhoods too. So maybe she's not The soul mate...but a significant one nonetheless.

And then how do you define who's "the" soul mate? If even for a given time period? Number one, priority? Gender and sexuality exist _here_, if not with souls. That's what makes a biological sister as your soul mate perverse. 

So then, sure, maybe soul mates "don't exist" - but you have to define what that means first to claim it.

Or maybe they do, and they transcend gender and sexuality. Beyond even how we do so here. (An asexual's soul mate could be a romantic...whatever).

But when that all becomes so confused that you become numb to your feelings and the idea of romantic relationships as significant, trying to define it is useful imo.


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## Macrosapien (Apr 4, 2010)

koalaroo said:


> Well, it depends on whether you have spirituality or religion, and where either of those lead you. The concept of a soul is antithetic to atheism, for instance.


I was just curious, because you said it's not the same as the mind or body, so I just figured I asked, what it was to you, I shouldv emphasized that I was asking you directly.


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## MetaMD (Apr 9, 2016)

The truth is no one knows what is soul, where is soul, what constitute soul, how are souls related, and etc... Answers are heavily influenced by era, culture, religions and folklore. There is no consensus about soul, and thus soulmate, just like not all neuroscientists and philosophers agree what is consciousness. Why discuss a thing with no knowledge base? Each of you is granted the freedom to believe in whatever makes you happy. 

I am happy to believe I exist in this physical realm.


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## Macrosapien (Apr 4, 2010)

MetaMD said:


> The truth is no one knows what is soul, where is soul, what constitute soul, how are souls related, and etc... Answers are heavily influenced by era, culture, religions and folklore. There is no consensus about soul, and thus soulmate, just like not all neuroscientists and philosophers agree what is consciousness. Why discuss a thing with no knowledge base? Each of you is granted the freedom to believe in whatever makes you happy.
> 
> I am happy to believe I exist in this physical realm.


when I read this I thought, INTJ, then I looked at your signature... lol


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## Macrosapien (Apr 4, 2010)

MetaMD said:


> The truth is no one knows what is soul, where is soul, what constitute soul, how are souls related, and etc... Answers are heavily influenced by era, culture, religions and folklore. There is no consensus about soul, and thus soulmate, just like not all neuroscientists and philosophers agree what is consciousness. Why discuss a thing with no knowledge base? Each of you is granted the freedom to believe in whatever makes you happy.
> 
> I am happy to believe I exist in this physical realm.


when I read this I thought, INTJ, then I looked at your signature... lol I completely agree, we do not know what a Soul is, it's been the question of the day for a while, of course the question of the day has moved to consciousness, its possibilities, and what its nature and existence generally is in the human experience. There are many theories on the soul, but how to find out though? 

Yes, you do sort of know that you exists in the physical world, but of course how we exist in this world, and if there is a why, i.e. what is the sense and significance of organic life. not sure how it applies to soulmates lol.... what I do know is soulmate is a nice sounding concept, but after experience touches you, you tend to no longer acknowledge it.


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## Dalien (Jul 21, 2010)

@Veggie and Everyone else...
Excerpts from "Anam Cara~A Book of Celtic Wisdom, by John O'Donohue

I choose this because it is the easiest way to explain Anam Cara (soul friends). I don't believe in soul mates, but I do believe in soul friends. I think @koalaroo is correct... the soul has no gender.

https://www.brainpickings.org/2015/08/12/anam-cara-john-o-donohue-soul-friend/


Anam Cara and the Essence of True Friendship: Poet and Philosopher John O’Donohue on the Beautiful Ancient Celtic Notion of Soul-Friend

“A friend … awakens your life in order to free the wild possibilities within you.”

By Maria Popova


Aristotle laid out the philosophical foundation of friendship as the art of holding up a mirror to each other’s souls. Two millennia later, Emerson contemplated its two pillars of truth and tenderness. Another century later, C.S. Lewis wrote: “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”

But nowhere do the beauty, mystery, and soul-sustenance of friendship come more vibrantly alive than in the 1997 masterwork Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom (public library) by the late, great Irish poet and philosopher John O’Donohue (January 1, 1956–January 4, 2008), titled after the Gaelic for “soul-friend” — a beautiful concept that elegantly encapsulates what Aristotle and Emerson and Lewis articulated in many more words.

johnodonohue

O’Donohue examines the essence and origin of the term:


"In the Celtic tradition, there is a beautiful understanding of love and friendship. One of the fascinating ideas here is the idea of soul-love; the old Gaelic term for this is anam cara. Anam is the Gaelic word for soul and cara is the word for friend. So anam cara in the Celtic world was the “soul friend.” In the early Celtic church, a person who acted as a teacher, companion, or spiritual guide was called an anam cara. It originally referred to someone to whom you confessed, revealing the hidden intimacies of your life. With the anam cara you could share your inner-most self, your mind and your heart. This friendship was an act of recognition and belonging. When you had an anam cara, your friendship cut across all convention, morality, and category. You were joined in an ancient and eternal way with the “friend of your soul.” The Celtic understanding did not set limitations of space or time on the soul. There is no cage for the soul. The soul is a divine light that flows into you and into your Other. This art of belonging awakened and fostered a deep and special companionship."


Illustration by Maurice Sendak from Let’s Be Enemies by Janice May Udry

The kind of friendship one finds in an anam cara, O’Donohue argues, is a very special form of love — not the kind that leads us to pit the platonic against the romantic but something much larger and more transcendent:


"In this love, you are understood as you are without mask or pretension. The superficial and functional lies and half-truths of social acquaintance fall away, you can be as you really are. Love allows understanding to dawn, and understanding is precious. Where you are understood, you are at home. Understanding nourishes belonging. When you really feel understood, you feel free to release yourself into the trust and shelter of the other person’s soul… This art of love discloses the special and sacred identity of the other person. Love is the only light that can truly read the secret signature of the other person’s individuality and soul. Love alone is literate in the world of origin; it can decipher identity and destiny."

But being an anam cara requires of a purposeful presence — it asks that we show up with absolute integrity of intention. That interior intentionality, O’Donohue suggests, is what sets the true anam cara apart from the acquaintance or the casual friend — a distinction all the more important today, in a culture where we throw the word “friend” around all too hastily, designating little more than perfunctory affiliation. But this faculty of showing up must be an active presence rather than a mere abstraction — the person who declares herself a friend but shirks when the other’s soul most needs seeing is not an anam cara.

O’Donohue writes:


"The heart learns a new art of feeling. Such friendship is neither cerebral nor abstract. In Celtic tradition, the anam cara was not merely a metaphor or ideal. It was a soul-bond that existed as a recognized and admired social construct. It altered the meaning of identity and perception. When your affection is kindled, the world of your intellect takes on a new tenderness and compassion… You look and see and understand differently. Initially, this can be disruptive and awkward, but it gradually refines your sensibility and transforms your way of being in the world. Most fundamentalism, greed, violence, and oppression can be traced back to the separation of idea and affection."

The anam cara perspective is sublime because it permits us to enter this unity of ancient belonging.

O’Donohue borrows Aristotle’s notion of friendship and stretches it to a more expansive understanding:


"A friend is a loved one who awakens your life in order to free the wild possibilities within you.

[…]

The one you love, your anam cara, your soul friend, is the truest mirror to reflect your soul. The honesty and clarity of true friendship also brings out the real contour of your spirit."

Anam Cara is a soul-stretching read in its entirety, exploring such immutable human concerns as love, work, aging, and death through the timeless lens of ancient Celtic wisdom. Complement it with poet and philosopher David Whyte on the true meaning of friendship, love, and heartbreak, then treat yourself to O’Donohue’s magnificent On Being conversation with Krista Tippett — one of the last interviews he gave before his sudden and tragic death.




If you realize how vital to your whole spirit — and being and character and mind and health — friendship actually is, you will take time for it… [But] for so many of us … we have to be in trouble before we remember what’s essential… It’s one of the lonelinesses of humans that you hold on desperately to things that make you miserable and … you only realize what you have when you’re almost about to lose it.


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## MetaMD (Apr 9, 2016)

Macrosapien said:


> when I read this I thought, INTJ, then I looked at your signature... lol


Exactly, my friend.


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## MetaMD (Apr 9, 2016)

Macrosapien said:


> how we exist in this world, and if there is a why, i.e. what is the sense and significance of organic life.


We exist by abiding to the physical laws, which is the nature. You determine why you exist. Any other definition, either theist, atheist, philosophical, or scientific don't relate to how you identify yourself with and how you will live and enjoy your life. The senses of organic life are developed helping us to survive and explore this world. The significance of each organic life is to balance and maintain the harmony of ecological system. 

Haha... none of these relate to soulmate. Maybe we all are soulmates inside the same ecology because we are all co-dependent to make this world a better place for future generations. :crazy:


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## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

I think that soulmates are only half found... also half chosen/made.


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## koalaroo (Nov 25, 2011)

Macrosapien said:


> I was just curious, because you said it's not the same as the mind or body, so I just figured I asked, what it was to you, I shouldv emphasized that I was asking you directly.


Honestly, it really just depends. In my experience, though, "soulmates" are the purview of the disordered. When you've had a narcissist or a borderline give you the "we're amazing for each other" and "we're meant to be" speech and feeling, followed by the confusingly abusive disappointment of those ideals, then you'll know what I'm talking about. I agree more with @_Veggie_'s concept of "mind mate", though.


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## Why so serious (Apr 29, 2016)

How does one find a soul mate if he has no soul?


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## Macrosapien (Apr 4, 2010)

MetaMD said:


> We exist by abiding to the physical laws, which is the nature. You determine why you exist. Any other definition, either theist, atheist, philosophical, or scientific don't relate to how you identify yourself with and how you will live and enjoy your life. The senses of organic life are developed helping us to survive and explore this world. The significance of each organic life is to balance and maintain the harmony of ecological system.
> 
> Haha... none of these relate to soulmate. Maybe we all are soulmates inside the same ecology because we are all co-dependent to make this world a better place for future generations. :crazy:



I agree that, as organisms we are bound be, and co-relate, on the bases of natural laws, which function in nature, thus in and by us, due to us being parcels of nature -- i.e. we are all composite forms of the natural phenomena. As a result, having our own material mind, we have our own material experience, that is subjective to us alone. Thus, determining how we choose to approach existence, individually. I do agree about the senses, but also there is one other reason, that I think is also important, in addition to exploring the world via sensory impressions, we also have them to explore ourselves, as composites of the same matter, but self governing -- i.e. will. Consciousness gives us this opportunity to experience ourselves in many meaningful ways, as well as experience our world, as also -- to have not only balance externally but internally, as the two are not exclusive from each other, but co-relate.... if we are more harmonious individually, it creates a more harmonious environment.

Yea, it doesn't, LOL. but its cool to read and share ideas. Lol that's one way of looking at soulmates, but isnt that more so naturemates, to keep up with this thread of nature and physical law :wink:


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## Macrosapien (Apr 4, 2010)

koalaroo said:


> Honestly, it really just depends. In my experience, though, "soulmates" are the purview of the disordered. When you've had a narcissist or a borderline give you the "we're amazing for each other" and "we're meant to be" speech and feeling, followed by the confusingly abusive disappointment of those ideals, then you'll know what I'm talking about. I agree more with @_Veggie_'s concept of "mind mate", though.



Lol I agree with you, I have experienced this on a number occasions, and was let down everytime LOL. but you still swerved my question LOL, about how you see the soul. But thats okay, there was no requirement to share on it.


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## koalaroo (Nov 25, 2011)

Macrosapien said:


> Lol I agree with you, I have experienced this on a number occasions, and was let down everytime LOL. but you still swerved my question LOL, about how you see the soul. But thats okay, there was no requirement to share on it.


Eh, honestly? I don't 100% know how I view the soul, other than that it's the genderless essence of humanity. Didn't mean to swerve!


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## StarFollowed (May 5, 2014)

I believe soul mates exist. I do think that you have to filter through guys who aren't. 

I haven't found mine yet, but I hope I will soon. I know people who have, and I am genuinely happy for them. I wish the reality of having a soulmate would be true for me.


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## Acrylic (Dec 14, 2015)

MetaMD said:


> The truth is no one knows what is soul, where is soul, what constitute soul, how are souls related


We answered that question with Eddie Amador's seminal classic.

"Not everyone understands house music, it's a spiritual thing. A body thing. A soul thing"


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## Diophantine (Nov 24, 2011)

I believe there is such a thing as kindred spirits but I don't think that there is just *one* soulmate for every person. I think people can have many people (or one, if it so happens) who they feel so connected to. And not even necessarily romantically.


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## MetaMD (Apr 9, 2016)

Despotic Ocelot said:


> We answered that question with Eddie Amador's seminal classic.
> 
> "Not everyone understands house music, it's a spiritual thing. A body thing. A soul thing"


You implied body = soul in this post. If that is the case, people won't have questions about soul, and truthfully, we don't need a second name for body. Please call body, body. Don't call it soul. Hehe...


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## Acrylic (Dec 14, 2015)

MetaMD said:


> You implied body = soul in this post. If that is the case, people won't have questions about soul, and truthfully, we don't need a second name for body. Please call body, body. Don't call it soul. Hehe...


Yes ma'am :tongue:

Haha I just noticed your signature says this.

Mastermind - CPU


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## MetaMD (Apr 9, 2016)

Despotic Ocelot said:


> Yes ma'am :tongue:
> 
> Haha I just noticed your signature says this.
> 
> Mastermind - CPU


Thank you for your vast music collection that concretes and solidifies my consciousness in this physical realm!

Consciousness is the collateral functions of the brain, part of the body, brain, and consciousness trinity. Mind is the mastery of different layers of consciousness. CPU is the central processing unit of an inorganic brain with or without a mobile body.

Maybe my signature says this, but the organic parts propel us to reproduce.


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## Acrylic (Dec 14, 2015)

MetaMD said:


>


If you knew who that was before you made that post, I am SERIOUSLY going to freak out right now lol. 

Did you get that from the side suggestions, or did you already know that guy or song?


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