# This isn't punny..



## Pianoasis (Nov 10, 2011)

*Pun War!*

From now on you may not post until you have a worthy pun that is _sew_ funny it'll leave you in _stitches_.

Your move..


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## tangosthenes (Oct 29, 2011)

pianoasis said:


> from now on you may not post until you have a worthy pun that is _sew_ funny it'll leave you in _stitches_.
> 
> Your move..


i hope this _coffin_ doesn't mean i'm sick.

Proceed to shower me with compliments, I know that was excellent.


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## Pianoasis (Nov 10, 2011)

tangosthenes said:


> i hope this _coffin_ doesn't mean i'm sick.
> 
> Proceed to shower me with compliments, I know that was excellent.


My compliments to the chef, that one was _gouda. _hehe.


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## Ellis Bell (Mar 16, 2012)

At first I thought the title of this thread was puny.


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## LexiFlame (Aug 9, 2012)

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)

My brother actually told me these.... shhh :tongue:


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## Pianoasis (Nov 10, 2011)

kasthu said:


> At first I thought the title of this thread was puny.


Eghast, I must fix this error.


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## Ringed Raygun (Aug 19, 2012)

You guys gotta take it easier in this _thread!_ 

I heard they _pun_ish people to a _pun_itentiary for too much _pun_slinging.


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## Siggy (May 25, 2009)

The gardener had some thorns in his side and spent time pining for his lost love. He loved to dig up dirt on people; like the doctor who had alot of skeletons in his closet and the maid who always swept things under the rugs.


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## Avian (Aug 4, 2012)

Have you ever been struck by lightning? It's a shocking experience!


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## Pianoasis (Nov 10, 2011)

Wanna hear a joke about pizza? Sorry, it's too _cheesy_.


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## MegaTuxRacer (Sep 7, 2011)

My pun is bigger than yours.


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## Kim Ward (Aug 18, 2012)

My puns are horrible. But, my poetry is verse.


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## Ringed Raygun (Aug 19, 2012)

Did you hear about the dwarf psychic who escaped from jail?

The news said that there was a small medium at large.


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## Siggy (May 25, 2009)

*Stolen from a physics forum:*


One atom said to another. I've lost an electron

"You sure"

"yea, I am positive





Certainly sounds like these are two fellows to keep an ion.

I understand theer was another atom in that bar, but he had to split.

Must have gone fission.


Gotta go and finish some housework. Clearing clogs is so draining.



(stop me before I kill again)


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## MasterJediSoda (Jun 4, 2012)

At first this thread seemed terrible.

Then it became clear it was simply abominable.

Only problem is, now I can't even find my bull.


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## Avian (Aug 4, 2012)

Has anyone realized that a broken pencil is pointless?

Two peanuts walk into a bar, one was a-salted!

A grenade thrown into a French kitchen would result in linoleum blownapart!

Forgetting to pay your exorcist will get you repossessed.


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## KateMarie999 (Dec 20, 2011)

What's so special about the mailman? Aren't all men male?

I'll get my coat...


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## QrivaN (Aug 3, 2012)

A man walks into a bar, takes two steps back, and says "ow..."

Yeah, I should probably quit...


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## Owfin (Oct 15, 2011)

A teacher told our class that Horace was too mature for us to read.

I agreed. We're just too Juvenal.


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## DeductiveReasoner (Feb 25, 2011)

"Hey, I though you were going to the gym this afternoon?"
"Nah. Didn't work out."


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## DeductiveReasoner (Feb 25, 2011)

xQrivaNx said:


> A man walks into a bar, takes two steps back, and says "ow..."
> 
> Yeah, I should probably quit...


This is my favorite. But I always heard it as 

Q:A blonde walks into a bar. What does she see?
A: Stars


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## DeductiveReasoner (Feb 25, 2011)

double post. damn.


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## QrivaN (Aug 3, 2012)

DeductiveReasoner said:


> This is my favorite. But I always heard it as
> 
> Q:A blonde walks into a bar. What does she see?
> A: Stars


Hehe, I like your version better. Um...I've heard this one before and thought it was pretty good.
"A dislexic walks into a bra..."
Did I spell dislexic right?


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## DeductiveReasoner (Feb 25, 2011)

I believe it's "dyslexic."

That's a pretty good one two, although I'm not sure it's actually a pun. Hmmm...


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## QrivaN (Aug 3, 2012)

Oh, thanks. Well, I guess I learned how to spell dyslexic and that I'm not good at jokes, puns, t
etc. But it was fun.roud:


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