# Help deserparately needed



## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

I need some help here guys. I'm at that point where I've got to pick out colleges and I've run into a road block. I really like psychology and sociology. Humans are just so fascinating as systems. However, my mom won't let me become a psychology/sociology major. She thinks that I can do better than that. The only other thing that I even remotely want to do is languages. She's fine with me becomming a polyglot and a linguistics major. What should I do? I really like psychology/sociology, but my mom is acting like a tyranic ESTJ about it. I am incredibly talented at languages, but they just don't have the same level of attraction for me as psych/soc does.


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## Verdant Hollow (Aug 25, 2009)

"do better than that"? Come on... I can't unconvince her from here, but that's ridiculous. Sure, many social science programs aren't super-duper rigorous, but that doesn't mean that they aren't good courses of study or that they can't be rigorous.

The other option is to not convince her that psychology/sociology is worthwhile, but to sell it differently. Tell her that you want to study neuro-psych, so that you'll have to take more of the "hard science" class. You could then go off and take elective courses in sociology or even double major in it.


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## Nightriser (Nov 8, 2008)

Do psych anyway, if that's what you want. My mom plainly told me that I should not study math because I'm "not good at it." I studied it anyway, partly as a defiant "So there!" to her, but mostly because I loved it. 

Out of curiosity, what does she have against psychology/sociology?


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

Study what you are most interested in, no matter what anyone else tells you to do. You won't regret doing what you love, but you might regret it if you don't.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TreeBob (Oct 11, 2008)

Like TDMG said, do a double major. All those courses should be not to hard to double up. Usually they aren't too strict on electives.


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## Deagalman (Jul 3, 2009)

If yo udon't have a scholarship, community college first. It's cheaper. Just shut up and do it. SHUT UP. Then get a scholarship and go to university.


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## Psilo (Apr 29, 2009)

Well, it's your life and your classes, not your mother's. She'll have to accept that. Your passion, successes, failures, are all yours. 

I don't know the circumstances. If she's holding financial reasons as a leash, then maybe double majoring may be the better option if you don't qualify for enough financial aids to get through. Still, your mother's objections shouldn't be the reason you don't at least test the subject to see if you enjoy it.


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## Steini (Oct 22, 2009)

Maybe anthropology would be something for you, I've been looking into it myself. It's not as narrow minded as psychology, though psychology covers a lot. Anthropology is the study of the man and EVERYTHING that he does or thinks about. It can be pretty interesting I think. But I wouldn't let that bother you that your mom says you can do better than for example psychology, psychology is a pretty heavy major I'd think. Do what's in your heart, read into it.


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## Lady K (Oct 13, 2009)

I'm wondering why your mom has a say in what you major in at all. Is she paying for your education? If she isn't, there's no reason that she can be the one who decides what you major in. It's your life, and ultimately, your decision should be what YOU want, not what your mom wants - no matter how much you may want to please her. You shouldn't do something just because you're "good" at it. I'm good at math, but I hate it with a fiery intense passion. 

However, if she IS paying for you to go to school, then she has some sort of say I suppose. In that case, I would opt for a double major as well. You can easily combine linguistics and psychology/sociology. 

I also agree with Deagal's opinion about attending a community college first. Depending on where you're living, tuition can be very expensive. With the economy the way it is, look at it from a fiscal perspective. The smartest path would be to get your gen eds out of the way in the cheapest way possible. These classes are generic across any board, and it's not going to make a difference that you took them at a community college, or a university. 

You do also need to look ahead when planning this out. Do you have any universities in mind? Are they in state, or out of state for you? You need to narrow these options down for yourself so you can do research on how you can get scholarship money, deadlines, etc.


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## Scruffy (Aug 17, 2009)

Just be a psychology major, what the fuck is she gonna do about it?


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## Femme (Jul 12, 2009)

Are there any career counselors at your school that you have a connection with? 

Could you possibly explain your situation to a counselor, who can, in turn, persuade your mother?


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## Deagalman (Jul 3, 2009)

Femme said:


> Are there any career counselors at your school that you have a connection with?
> 
> Could you possibly explain your situation to a counselor, who can, in turn, persuade your mother?




they dress nice, they know how to floss, there ties are flawless. Other than that, they don't have a clue about anything. His best bet is to talk to actual psychologists, researchers, whoever in the actual field to get the straight and narrow and then begin to plan out every move.


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## Femme (Jul 12, 2009)

They don't need to be knowledgable in the field of psychology. All they need to do is give a convincing speech to his mother.


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## EvilByte (Aug 5, 2009)

I don't know your situation well enough, so I'll try to give as much general advice as I can.

Depending on your academic and extra curricular statuses, you probably have some idea where you stand in relation to your peers in terms of getting into college. And depending on your financial situation, you have different options.

Community college is a fine idea if you're going to be paying for it and you know you can't get into some really good school you want to right away (that leads to the possibility of doing well and transferring into it). But going to a regular university or college isn't a bad idea even if you have to pay; you'll still likely get some financial aid, and it might be a better experience for you (it's different for everyone, so it's really hard to say, even for introverts, etc.). 

If you know you're going to get financial aid, most schools are good about it, but especially private colleges and universities. Some give scholarships based on merit and other things, too.

Basically, my best advice is to apply to a LOT of schools, in all ranges. Apply to really hard, good schools, average ones, maybe some lower ones, etc. But the more you apply to, the more options you'll have later. It's worth the money to apply to many different schools just to see what your options are like (and they have financial aid available for application fees, too. Your guidance counselors would probably know about this).

As for which ones you choose to apply to, that's up to you. Since you know you're looking for psychology and linguistics (potentially), make sure you look at schools' list of majors and check to see that they have them. Also, decide how far you want to go away to college, if you want to live at home, etc. This will help you populate a list (and make it a really big list!). I suggest looking at a lot of liberal arts colleges, because they'll generally have the majors you're looking for, and they'll also have other majors and classes that you might want to try out (and maybe something will strike your fancy, even if you *know* right now you want to do psychology or linguistics). 

Once you have a gigantic list, you can narrow it down based on how much you like each one (and make sure you have a good range of difficulty of admission/prestige, don't bunch them all into one category). It can be very hard to motivate yourself to do this, so if you can find someone who will look through them with you, it can be helpful (or even talking to friends to see where they're applying, etc.). But it's absolutely necessary.

You probably won't know much about the schools beyond what they offer and the general stats, but you can worry about which one is best for you *after* you've been accepted (you applied to a shit ton, remember? You're going to have options). 

As for the problem of your mother, that's not necessarily an immediate matter. Yes, it limits you in that you have to look for a school that has psychology AND linguistics, but that's not terribly limiting. If you're very ambition you could tell her straight up that you're not going to listen to her, but I bet that wouldn't end so well. Especially considering once you're at college, you might take a class you would never have thought you'd take before and end up loving it and wanting to major in that! (It happens ALL the time in college)

Basically, she's trying to get you to do something you're good at that she believes will guarantee you a good job, because it's more respected or some such. I think that's quite ridiculous, considering how many potentially different jobs are out there, but to each their own. 

Your best bet at the moment is (as others have suggested) double major in both, or at least tell your mom you're going with the pretense of majoring in linguistics. You can always take linguistic classes in addition to any psychology classes you want, and you'll want to take at least a small variety of other classes just to test things out (if something seems a little interesting, gopher it).

As for turning her over to your viewpoint, take it gradually. Once you're doing both, you'll have real academic and professional experience of the value of psychology, and you'll be able to keep talking to her about it and slowly chipping away at it. You can't ignore it (because then it will come back when you graduate and want to go to work or to grad school), but you don't have to change her mind now, before you leave, or even within the first two years of college. 

I'm sure she'll come over if you keep showing the positive aspects of psychology, especially if you still love it in college. It may take time, but it ultimately is your life, and your happiness is more important than her approval, if it comes down to it. 

Good luck, we're all here to help!


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## sraddatz (Nov 7, 2009)

I would show stats that show you can make a good living as a psychologist. I suspect that given our current political climate, that demand for medical professions of any kind will be increasing in the near future. That might tap into her logical side. 

She probably thinks psychology is like a career in the arts, which is very tough. But that is definitely not the case. I think she only wants what's best for you, even though she could be way off.


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