# Tired of being in relationships and would rather work or do something else productive



## Helweh18 (Jul 30, 2013)

Do any other NT's truly ever feel like they would be better off alone? I sincerely believe that my time and energy would be better spent on work, education, reading, traveling opposed to dealing with an intimate partner. I know that society expects us (especially women) to get married, have 2.5 kids and the proverbial "house with a white picket fence". I am tired of dealing with intimate partners because I have so many goals that I would like to achieve and feel like they have held me back.


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## Tzara (Dec 21, 2013)

Not really.. 
Im trying to look from the entj perspective and you might have only dated people who want emotional satisfaction.

You need an 8w7 NT guy who will expect ambition and wits instead of emotional care and 2.5 children. Someone who wants to climb the ladder as much as you do.

Tbh girls like you are the rare ones not guys


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## Sadist (May 23, 2013)

Helweh18 said:


> Do any other NT's truly ever feel like they would be better off alone? I sincerely believe that my time and energy would be better spent on work, education, reading, traveling opposed to dealing with an intimate partner. I know that society expects us (especially women) to get married, have 2.5 kids and the proverbial "house with a white picket fence". I am tired of dealing with intimate partners because I have so many goals that I would like to achieve and feel like they have held me back.



What the above poster said.

Start looking at guys you normally wouldn't look at.
Actually, I'm in the same boat as you, get my shit together, and money up more before wasting time and energy on intimate relationships. There are only 168 hours a week and roughly 40-56 are spent sleep. 
Besides, with my current unpredictable work schedule I would not be able to satisfy whatever poor soul would require my time.

My advice to you is to not get into any serious relationships and just do find others in the same boat as you.


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## Impavida (Dec 29, 2011)

Helweh18 said:


> Do any other NT's truly ever feel like they would be better off alone? I sincerely believe that my time and energy would be better spent on work, education, reading, traveling opposed to dealing with an intimate partner. I know that society expects us (especially women) to get married, have 2.5 kids and the proverbial "house with a white picket fence". I am tired of dealing with intimate partners because I have so many goals that I would like to achieve and feel like they have held me back.


Welcome to my reality. Every time I've been in a serious relationship, my life has ended up being totally, utterly, and completely derailed. To my knowledge I've only ever dated NTs and STs - perhaps it would be different with an F who was willing/able to do the emotional heavy lifting in the relationship. I'm at the point now where I'm not particularly interested in finding out though.

Simply because I'm female, I've found that I'm always expected to be more emotional, less ambitious and more invested in taking on the relationship maintenance than my partner. I've met plenty of men who *say* that they want a rational, independent and adventurous woman, but most of them seem totally incapable of being in a relationship with one. 

I find I end up devoting so much bandwidth to managing relationship expectations and the associated drama that I don't have enough left to focus on my personal goals. My experience thus far has been that relationships and achieving my life's goals are mutually exclusive - I can have one or the other, but not both.


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## bluekitdon (Dec 19, 2012)

Helweh18 said:


> Do any other NT's truly ever feel like they would be better off alone? I sincerely believe that my time and energy would be better spent on work, education, reading, traveling opposed to dealing with an intimate partner. I know that society expects us (especially women) to get married, have 2.5 kids and the proverbial "house with a white picket fence". I am tired of dealing with intimate partners because I have so many goals that I would like to achieve and feel like they have held me back.


I've thought that from time to time, and certainly with the wrong person you're better off alone. That being said, there are people out there that can help support your career so you can basically have your cake and eat it too. I'm pretty happy with the relationship I have with my wife, I see her as a partner who helps me rather than holds me back. 

If you truly aren't finding that another person in your life helps with your happiness, then follow your own path. Don't do it just because society expects it.

Just bear in mind that most people on their death beds don't regret not working hard enough. They regret not being true to themselves, working so hard that they missed out on other things, not expressing feelings, not maintaining friendships, and not letting themselves do what makes them happy.

Interesting article.
Admitted on Their Deathbed: Top 5 Regrets - Netscape What's New


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## ScientiaOmnisEst (Oct 2, 2013)

Helweh18 said:


> I know that society expects us (especially women) to get married, have 2.5 kids and the proverbial "house with a white picket fence".


Minor thread derail, but is this really true anymore (was it ever even true)? I keep getting the impression that this isn't actually any kind of worshipped ideal, just a discredited stereotype people throw around to show off their nonconformity when actually no one believes it anymore. From what I can tell, no one sees anything wrong with a person not having a relationship and pursuing personal goals, if anything this behavior is increasingly encouraged in women...because feminism, I guess. 


As a disclaimer, I tend to be a bit sheltered and oblivious to "societal expectations".


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## frozenmusic (Aug 12, 2014)

It truly depends on who you date. They can only hold you back if they're not right for you. I've received so much support and encouragement from my ESTJ boyfriend, that I can't even count anymore. I've had my down moments throughout our years of being together and he's been the one to help me through it and keep me on the right path. 
But I do agree that, had I not found him, I would've been better off alone. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship just for the sake of it. And, let's face it... we all know that NT women aren't your regular type of woman. My guy has gotten used to me not being able to express any kind of emotion and not being very affectionate, but I have to admit.. I'd have quite a hard time with a woman like me, if I were a man.


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## Impavida (Dec 29, 2011)

I've had no problem finding men who are capable of being emotionally supportive for regular life stuff. My challenge is finding a man who is willing to take a backseat to my ambitions. Note, by "ambition" I am in no way referencing work or a career.

If a man wants to go off and have some grand trip or spend months exploring the uncharted wilderness, it's practically expected that a woman would support that and take care things at home while he went off and lived his dreams. From what I've seen there really aren't many men who would be willing to take care of home and hearth while the woman went off and lived those same epic adventures.



ScientiaOmnemEst said:


> Minor thread derail, but is this really true anymore (was it ever even true)? I keep getting the impression that this isn't actually any kind of worshipped ideal, just a discredited stereotype people throw around to show off their nonconformity when actually no one believes it anymore. From what I can tell, no one sees anything wrong with a person not having a relationship and pursuing personal goals, if anything this behavior is increasingly encouraged in women...because feminism, I guess.
> 
> As a disclaimer, I tend to be a bit sheltered and oblivious to "societal expectations".


I wouldn't say it's an ideal, but there's most certainly still an accepted script that women are expected to follow. Some people have absolutely told me that I'm wrong in how I live my life. Those types are the exception though. 

Most people are polite enough to keep their opinions to themselves. However, I still face far more surprise, concern and questions about my chosen lifestyle than I should in this day and age.


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## starscream430 (Jan 14, 2014)

I'm still in college, but I am thinking of my career over a girl. It could be due to the fact that I'm still quite young, but I want to pursue a relationship once I have everything in my life under control - the biggest of which is a stable career.


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## Themorning (Jan 8, 2014)

Being single, I put too much time and mental resources into meeting girls so I probably have less time to be productive. This is probably counter productive. I really should just focus on the things that I enjoy doing because this is ultimately what people are attracted to.


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## MissAverage (Aug 7, 2014)

Helweh18 said:


> Do any other NT's truly ever feel like they would be better off alone? I sincerely believe that my time and energy would be better spent on work, education, reading, traveling opposed to dealing with an intimate partner. I know that society expects us (especially women) to get married, have 2.5 kids and the proverbial "house with a white picket fence". I am tired of dealing with intimate partners because I have so many goals that I would like to achieve and feel like they have held me back.


No, I don't agree with you. 

As for me, I find it rewarding and exciting to share my goals, life, and achievements WITH someone I love. Reading books and traveling alone dont really seem too exciting to do solo. I love having intamacy and sex and fun memories with the person I am in love with. It feels good to love and be loved. I dont see it as a burden or hassle. I also cant wait to have a family. As a woman I consider this one of my goals. Not ashamed of it either. 

I dont understand the connection youre trying to make with having a relaionship and that somehow hindering you from acheiving your goals.. Dont let anyone stand in the way of your goals. 

Being old, childless, and alone are not really my long term ambitions either..so ya....I want a family.


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## Impavida (Dec 29, 2011)

MissAverage said:


> I dont understand the connection youre trying to make with having a relaionship and that somehow hindering you from acheiving your goals.. Dont let anyone stand in the way of your goals.


I was all set to answer this until I started trying to type it out. Hmmm...

From what you've written, your goal *IS* the relationship and the family, so of course a relationship won't get in your way. I don't mean to presume, so please correct me if I'm wrong. The impression I get is that to you, the relationship/family are the cake, and that any other personal goals you achieve beyond that are really just frosting.

Whereas for people like me, the relationship is the decorative frosting, and the personal goals/ambitions are the cake. In which case, a relationship, even a good one, can absolutely hinder a person in achieving their goals. It takes a lot of time, energy and resources to keep a relationship healthy - time, energy and resources that are no longer being devoted to achieving that person's true passions/life goals. 

Does that make sense?


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## MissAverage (Aug 7, 2014)

Not really.


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## I_am_the_NiTe (Nov 29, 2013)

Helweh18 said:


> Do any other NT's truly ever feel like they would be better off alone? I sincerely believe that my time and energy would be better spent on work, education, reading, traveling opposed to dealing with an intimate partner. I know that society expects us (especially women) to get married, have 2.5 kids and the proverbial "house with a white picket fence". I am tired of dealing with intimate partners because I have so many goals that I would like to achieve and feel like they have held me back.


If I found a girl like you IRL I would go for her without hesitation.
Mainly, I want someone there that supports me when necessary (And I her when necessary,) but that has a lot of her own drive and ambition. 

With that said, I doubt I'm the only such guy. Focus on your goals, let relationships take the back seat for now, and maybe the right guy will turn up.

I don't see it as an all or nothing as much as you are perhaps. Every expert everywhere says you [NTJs especially] find the right people after they stop trying.


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## foodcourtfrenzy (Aug 14, 2014)

Impavidus said:


> I've had no problem finding men who are capable of being emotionally supportive for regular life stuff. My challenge is finding a man who is willing to take a backseat to my ambitions. Note, by "ambition" I am in no way referencing work or a career.
> 
> If a man wants to go off and have some grand trip or spend months exploring the uncharted wilderness, it's practically expected that a woman would support that and take care things at home while he went off and lived his dreams. From what I've seen there really aren't many men who would be willing to take care of home and hearth while the woman went off and lived those same epic adventures..


Meh, as a guy I wouldn't be cool with my SO going on a multi-month expedition in search for adventure but I certainly wouldn't expect her to be cool with me doing it either. I don't know if that's a gender thing.


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## Helweh18 (Jul 30, 2013)

@Impavidus The irony of your last post is that I literally only eat the cake, I never eat the frosting lol


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## Impavida (Dec 29, 2011)

@Helweh18 - yeah, I'm pretty much all cake too


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## Tao Te Ching (May 3, 2013)

Question: The problem seems to be that when you are in a relationship, in the beginning everything is happening, but when you marry that person it changes. I’ve been in several relationships, major relationships, I’ve been married and divorced twice and I’m searching for something special. Something I’m told is called a “soul mate”. Do you believe in such a relationship or person and what would that mean? How would I know that?


Ram Dass: Got it! Keep looking! I’ll give you the farthest out answer first of all and then we’ll come back to something that everybody can handle. In the farthest out answer, we have all been around so many times that every one of us has been everything with everybody else. So when I look at you, you and I have been in so many relationships together. It’s just that we don’t remember them. Do you know how many times we have been born and died? Remember Buddha’s story: If you take a mountain six miles long and six miles wide and six miles high, that’s the distance a bullock walks in a day. And a bird flies over the mountain once every hundred years with a silk scarf in its beak and brushes the tip of the mountain. In the length of time it takes the scarf to wear away the mountain, that’s how long you have been doing this. Just think about that. Once every hundred years the scarf goes over; a scarf and a mountain. It goes on and on and on. In India there are Yugas and Kalpas of hundreds of thousands of years and then they start the cycles all over again. And we’ve been through all of them again and again.

Now, behind all of this is the One. And that is all there is. All of us here are one in drag, appearing to be many. So we are all “soul mate”. There is only one of it. It’s not mates, because it’s not even two. It’s only one. There’s only one of us. So what you’re really doing is constantly marrying yourself at the deepest level of God marrying God. Now you come down into soul. And each soul has a unique karmic predicament (you could call it a psychic DNA code) that in a way guides which way its life will go. And it is entirely possible that souls when they take birth into parents that are part of their Karma will at some point meet a being and they have agreed in advance to come down and do this together and meet. And that’s what we usually call soul mates.

*What you have found from your past marriages is that what you are attracted to in a person isn’t what you ultimately live with. After the honeymoon is over — it’s after the desire systems that were dormant in the relationship that have the attraction in it pass and all of it passes — then you are left with the work to do. And it’s the same work. When you trade in one partner for another, you still have the same work. You’re going to have to do it sooner or later when the pizzazz is over. And it just keeps going over. And you can’t milk the romanticism of relationship too long as you become more conscious. It’s more interesting than that. It really is. And people want to romanticize their lives all the time. It’s part of the culture. But the awakening process starts to show you the emptiness of that forum. And you start to go for something deeper. You start to go to meet another human being in truth. And truth is scary. Truth has bad breath at times; truth is boring; truth burns the food; truth is all the stuff. Truth has anger; truth has all of it. And you stay in it and you keep working with it and your keep opening to it and you keep deepening it. Every time you trade in a partner, you realize that there’s no good or bad about it. I’m not talking good or bad about this.*

But you begin to see how you keep coming to the same place in relationships, and then you tend to stop because it gets too heavy – because your identity gets threatened too much. For the relationship to move to the next level of truth requires an opening and a vulnerability that you’re not quite ready to make. And so you entrench, you retrench, you pull back and then you start to judge and push away and then you move to the next one. And then you have the rush of the openness and then the same thing starts to happen. And so you keep saying “Where am I going to find the one when this doesn’t happen?” And it will only happen when it doesn’t happen in you. When you start to take and watch the stuff and get quiet enough inside yourself, so you can take that process as it’s happening and start to work with it. And keep coming back to living truth in yourself or the other person even though it’s scary and hard.
~Ram Dass


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## PowerShell (Feb 3, 2013)

Themorning said:


> Being single, I put too much time and mental resources into meeting girls so I probably have less time to be productive. This is probably counter productive. I really should just focus on the things that I enjoy doing because this is ultimately what people are attracted to.


Pretty much this. Trying to find a decent chick is very time consuming. I'm hoping the chick I've been talking to and went on one date materializes into something more serious. Dating is such a pain in the ass.


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## Helweh18 (Jul 30, 2013)

Well to top things off I was proposed to last night...


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## Impavida (Dec 29, 2011)

@Helweh18


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## foodcourtfrenzy (Aug 14, 2014)

Usually the people who don't want a relationship are the people you wouldn't want a relationship with anyway. The words selfish and uncommunicative come to mind. These people usually attract anxious and insecure people because anxious people do not have the confidence to walk away from chasing the dragon of intimacy when someone is acting aloof. So you get two polar insecure opposites together, which ALWAYS turns out well! The "I want to be alone" person feels disgusted by the excessive neediness, thinks that relationships are for idiots and walks away. The anxious person gets dumped or cheated on and feels even more anxious in their next relationship.

Cliffs: Partying, partying, yeah! Partying, partying, yeah! Fun Fun Fun Fun


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## Helweh18 (Jul 30, 2013)

foodcourtfrenzy said:


> Usually the people who don't want a relationship are the people you wouldn't want a relationship with anyway. The words selfish and uncommunicative come to mind. These people usually attract anxious and insecure people because anxious people do not have the confidence to walk away from chasing the dragon of intimacy when someone is acting aloof. So you get two polar insecure opposites together, which ALWAYS turns out well! The "I want to be alone" person feels disgusted by the excessive neediness, thinks that relationships are for idiots and walks away. The anxious person gets dumped or cheated on and feels even more anxious in their next relationship.
> 
> Cliffs: Partying, partying, yeah! Partying, partying, yeah! Fun Fun Fun Fun


Well there are multiple problems with this statement. I don't feel like being in a relationship because I like to work and my company is important to me. I am attractive and extremely secure in who I am, my insecurity lies in the simple fact that we have limited time on this planet why waste it?


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## foodcourtfrenzy (Aug 14, 2014)

Helweh18 said:


> Well there are multiple problems with this statement. I don't feel like being in a relationship because I like to work and my company is important to me. I am attractive and extremely secure in who I am, my insecurity lies in the simple fact that we have limited time on this planet why waste it?



Nothing wrong with that. I'm just saying, if that's how you feel please don't ride the fence and take on a relationship. You say you're "tired of being in relationships" which implies that you keep ending up in them. Just save everyone the trouble and follow through on your desires to be left alone.

Edit: Just saw that you got proposed to recently on the previous page. Yeah, you really need to stop leading guys on, I don't care how good it feels.


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## Impavida (Dec 29, 2011)

Edit - It's not worth the headache...


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## PowerShell (Feb 3, 2013)

I know the dating game is very inefficient and time consuming. It's also very irrational but things are starting to make more sense the more I think about it. Let's just say the crap they taught us about dating and other modern "equal" ways of looking at things is absolute crap. I could write some very politically incorrect things that drive us nuts as NT's since it defies the logic we're so accustomed to.


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## somnuvore (Sep 27, 2013)

Join the club; I have made the decision to not have relationships and focus on a career, after a period of unsuccessful dating. I think, if you will be in a relationship, you should really take the time to find the right person, and the right person may not be satisfied with who you are at the moment at that. Here, you're going to figure out who it is you want to spend the rest of your life with, and potentially raise children with; it is a decision better made late and after long periods of deliberation, not something to get out of the way early.

Thing with NTJs is that we become most attractive when we stop worrying about relationships and become confident with who we are and what we do; when you stop seeking relationships, that's when they start biting, and you may choose at your leisure who you will court, if you will court, and when. So I believe the course of action you've decided is the most reasonable; no one cares more for your interests and well-being than you.


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## Polexia (Apr 22, 2014)

Impavidus said:


> I was all set to answer this until I started trying to type it out. Hmmm...
> 
> From what you've written, your goal *IS* the relationship and the family, so of course a relationship won't get in your way. I don't mean to presume, so please correct me if I'm wrong. The impression I get is that to you, the relationship/family are the cake, and that any other personal goals you achieve beyond that are really just frosting.
> 
> ...


Love the cake/frosting thing right here! 

As an NT female I've often found that the cake is all about me, my goals, my experiences and the frosting is my relationship. I love both almost equally, but the cake can do fine without the frosting. 

I like being in a relationship. I like what the two some of a relationship is and what it can offer, but I also enjoy doing stuff alone (traveling, watching tv, exploring) I also have a great need to have alone time to think, explore ideas etc. for me I've been lucky in finding a partner who let's me have a good deal of alone time and who is very supportive of my goals. It took a while to find him. 

As for kids. I think I'd be happy with a kid or two in my life, but if we end up not having kids is be comfortable with that as well (cause deep down is a fear that I'd be a sucky self involved, unattentive, mom). 

As for the OP. If you feel that a relationship is in the way in your life in general. Just break it of. 


Sent from my iPhone using TapaTalk


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Observation: The declaration "I have a romantic partner" is less significant than "I sell propane and propane accessories".


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## Impavida (Dec 29, 2011)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> Observation: The declaration "I have a romantic partner" is less significant than "I sell propane and propane accessories".


Yeah...no.

Try: The declaration "I have a romantic partner" is less significant than "I have dreams and aspirations that are important to me."

Why do people always assume it's about the career? Don't want kids? Oh you must be career-driven. Don't want a partner? Oh you must really love your job.



Seriously people, there's more to life than work and family...


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Such as recreational activities including mountain climbing, desert treks and going inside a volcano.


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## Impavida (Dec 29, 2011)

^^^ I have actually done all of those things and they were definitely more rewarding than a relationship  but that's not what I was alluding to.


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## PowerShell (Feb 3, 2013)

somnuvore said:


> Thing with NTJs is that we become most attractive when we stop worrying about relationships and become confident with who we are and what we do; when you stop seeking relationships, that's when they start biting, and you may choose at your leisure who you will court, if you will court, and when. So I believe the course of action you've decided is the most reasonable; no one cares more for your interests and well-being than you.


Could it be that NT's are way more results oriented and we're used to making things happen very fast, we run into issues with relationships since that way of making things happen fast (and makes us very successful iin most other things in life) doesn't work when pursing a relationship since it's a whole different ballgame as well as makes us come off as needy?

I've really been examining things and reading a lot on dating and the logical way of doing things fails. The whole, I've evaluated your qualities and think that we logically would make a couple so let's just define this quick and officially become a couple just doesn't work. Also, the whole try to be as accommodating as possible and other modern crap they try to teach us is, just that, crap. Look up relationship\dating investment. Most guys get into "nice guy" way of doing things and it makes them a doormat.

Plain and simple, we're NT's and we build great things. Use your confidence with the great things you build and the relationships will come. If you build it (other things other than a relationship), they will come.


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## Old Intern (Nov 20, 2012)

Impavidus said:


> I was all set to answer this until I started trying to type it out. Hmmm...
> 
> From what you've written, your goal *IS* the relationship and the family, so of course a relationship won't get in your way. I don't mean to presume, so please correct me if I'm wrong. The impression I get is that to you, the relationship/family are the cake, and that any other personal goals you achieve beyond that are really just frosting.
> 
> ...


I stayed stuck too long with somebody who maybe believed A healthy woman must want domestic life more than anything? So I think I know what you mean. For me creative work is real but a lot of people's married lives degenerate into a list of conformity? It just goes that way because familes become a structure like ant colonies and bee hives.


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## Solrac026 (Mar 6, 2012)

Impavidus said:


> I've had no problem finding men who are capable of being emotionally supportive for regular life stuff. My challenge is finding a man who is willing to take a backseat to my ambitions. Note, by "ambition" I am in no way referencing work or a career.
> 
> If a man wants to go off and have some grand trip or spend months exploring the uncharted wilderness, it's practically expected that a woman would support that and take care things at home while he went off and lived his dreams. From what I've seen there really aren't many men who would be willing to take care of home and hearth while the woman went off and lived those same epic adventures.
> 
> ...


First, this just sounds really selfish, whether it's coming from a man or a woman. If the other person wants to stay at home and support such trips, it's fine. But that should not and is not really expected. Second, who in the hell goes on months exploring uncharted territory? No one. Third, as successful couple, both should be able to go on months (or more realistically weeks) of exploring uncharted territories (or vacations as normal people call them).


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## Solrac026 (Mar 6, 2012)

Helweh18 said:


> Do any other NT's truly ever feel like they would be better off alone? I sincerely believe that my time and energy would be better spent on work, education, reading, traveling opposed to dealing with an intimate partner. I know that society expects us (especially women) to get married, have 2.5 kids and the proverbial "house with a white picket fence". I am tired of dealing with intimate partners because I have so many goals that I would like to achieve and feel like they have held me back.


The answer to this is to find someone who enjoys spending alone time just as much as you do. I sometimes think I would be better off alone too, but those feelings usually originate from not being able to accomplish things, usually due to relationships. When I hit this bump, it doesn't mean that I don't love that other person or want to leave, it simply means I need more space. In my case, I need lots of space and I am really fortunate enough to have a loving partner who can respect and work through that. I think you just need to find that person who will give you the space you need and you can have the cake and eat it too.


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## Alayna West (Jan 14, 2014)

I've never really seen myself as the long term relationship/marriage type. I want to make something of myself and travel places where things happen on a big scale. Settling down sounds tragically boring.


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## foodcourtfrenzy (Aug 14, 2014)

Solrac026 said:


> First, this just sounds really selfish, whether it's coming from a man or a woman. If the other person wants to stay at home and support such trips, it's fine. But that should not and is not really expected. Second, who in the hell goes on months exploring uncharted territory? No one. Third, as successful couple, both should be able to go on months (or more realistically weeks) of exploring uncharted territories (or vacations as normal people call them)..


Werd. I forget that most people on this forum are really really young or inexperienced. I thought I was Billy Badass when I was 20 too -- bang all the women I can, travel the world, be a special snowflake that drinks from the cup of life daily. Then you get older and realize that most people don't have the money or real desire to make a long term lifestyle out of these things, and the ones that do have the money do it for a year or so and prefer to settle into a "normal" life like everybody else.

I was also coming out of a long relationship at that time too. Met lots of girls and lived it up. Took a few years to realize how vacuous that whole dream was and came down off that cloud. 99% of people do.


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## Solrac026 (Mar 6, 2012)

foodcourtfrenzy said:


> Werd. I forget that most people on this forum are really really young or inexperienced. I thought I was Billy Badass when I was 20 too -- bang all the women I can, travel the world, be a special snowflake that drinks from the cup of life daily. Then you get older and realize that most people don't have the money or real desire to make a long term lifestyle out of these things, and the ones that do have the money do it for a year or so and prefer to settle into a "normal" life like everybody else.
> 
> I was also coming out of a long relationship at that time too. Met lots of girls and lived it up. Took a few years to realize how vacuous that whole dream was and came down off that cloud. 99% of people do.



Gotcha'. Yeah, I'm in the latter half of my twenties. I too tried to "live it up", but it came with a price of destroying not only a part of myself, but also the perception that I had towards others in a bad way. I am glad I changed my path before I got there or I would have just been a loser. 

I am getting older and realize that I don't have as much money as I would like. I am currently trying to cultivate that desire and motivation to make lifestyle changes that would help me be more successful, but it's so difficult. This is the shit they don't teach you at schools and now I'm working towards it, albeit slowly. I hope I can get a hang of it so I can accomplish my life goal of traveling the world and having a good retirement.


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## Impavida (Dec 29, 2011)

Solrac026 said:


> Gotcha'. Yeah, I'm in the latter half of my twenties. I too tried to "live it up", but it came with a price of destroying not only a part of myself, but also the perception that I had towards others in a bad way. I am glad I changed my path before I got there or I would have just been a loser.
> 
> I am getting older and realize that I don't have as much money as I would like. I am currently trying to cultivate that desire and motivation to make lifestyle changes that would help me be more successful, but it's so difficult. This is the shit they don't teach you at schools and now I'm working towards it, albeit slowly. I hope I can get a hang of it *so I can accomplish my life goal of traveling the world* and having a good retirement.


You don't need a lot of money to travel the world. By the time I was your age, I had already visited 40-50 countries and lived on 4 different continents. I left home at 19 on a one-way plane ticket with $500 in my pocket, a maxed out credit card and no job lined up on the other side. All you need is a dream and the guts to go after it. 

As to your and @foodcourtfrenzy 's earlier posts...Based on what you've written in this thread, the two of you seem to have lived very sheltered lives. I could respond to your points (humorous as they were) and try to explain myself further; however, I think I'll stick to my earlier statement of "not worth the headache."


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## Solrac026 (Mar 6, 2012)

Impavidus said:


> You don't need a lot of money to travel the world. By the time I was your age, I had already visited 40-50 countries and lived on 4 different continents. I left home at 19 on a one-way plane ticket with $500 in my pocket, a maxed out credit card and no job lined up on the other side. All you need is a dream and the guts to go after it.
> 
> As to your and @_foodcourtfrenzy_ 's earlier posts...Based on what you've written in this thread, the two of you seem to have lived very sheltered lives. I could respond to your points (humorous as they were) and try to explain myself further; however, I think I'll stick to my earlier statement of "not worth the headache."


And how are your retirement plans coming along for you? Yes, it would be nice to say F-it and take off to see the entire world before having any plan B options available, but that is just impulsive and lacking foresight. If you are fortunate enough to have others care for you financially then it's awesome, but others like me aren't so fortunate and I sure as hell don't want to be poor when I get old.


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## Impavida (Dec 29, 2011)

Solrac026 said:


> And how are your retirement plans coming along for you? Yes, it would be nice to say F-it and take off to see the entire world before having any plan B options available, but that is just impulsive and lacking foresight. If you are fortunate enough to have others care for you financially then it's awesome, but others like me aren't so fortunate and I sure as hell don't want to be poor when I get old.


Still with the assumptions...you have much to learn, Grasshopper 

Dude, I'm an INTJ. I have contingency plans for my contingency plans. The only one supporting me financially is me and I'll be retired by 45 - it would have been closer to 40 if I hadn't wasted so many resources on my ex-husband. No inheritance, no trust fund, no sugar daddy, just good old fashioned smart work.

P.S. You need to amend that last line of yours. It's not *when* you get old, it's *if* you get old.


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