# Okay ENFP's let's talk about sex



## Ungweliante

idris said:


> We call that a freak.


Time to get the freak on, then? roud:

...sex is like riding a bicycle. At first you're bound to take a couple of falls, have huge problems with directions and are really unsure of yourself...but after the 100th time, you'll forget that you're riding and instead think of the grocery list.


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## Deja Vu

Ungweliante said:


> Time to get the freak on, then? roud:


Cbelle?? :blushed:


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## cbelle

idris said:


> Cbelle?? :blushed:


If that's freakish to you...
:wink:


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## pinkrasputin

Sex gets better and better the more you know each other's bodies.

Sex for the individual gets better when you really know your own body as well.


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## MissyMaroon

Haha, you guys and your love/emotional passionate sex.

I separate love and sex. All sex is is sex! That's all it is. And it's awesome! No need to romanticize it.

Sex with someone you love I'm sure is much, much better because of all the integrated emotions and feelings and pleasures in one.

But, seriously, I have nothing against casual sex or one night stands. As long as you're safe, it's all good. Sex by itself with someone you don't have deep feelings for can still be great, although not as great as with someone you genuinely care for and love, and there's no need for guilt tripping ourselves for it. Of course, we all have different preferences, and maybe I'm a bit liberal when it comes to nature's finest, but I don't put limitations or restrictions on sex - just safety.

Sex is world peace. Now go enjoy yourselves! :laughing:


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## Arioche

MissyMaroon said:


> Haha, you guys and your love/emotional passionate sex.
> 
> I separate love and sex. All sex is is sex! That's all it is. And it's awesome! No need to romanticize it.
> 
> Sex with someone you love I'm sure is much, much better because of all the integrated emotions and feelings and pleasures in one.
> 
> But, seriously, I have nothing against casual sex or one night stands. As long as you're safe, it's all good. Sex by itself with someone you don't have deep feelings for can still be great, although not as great as with someone you genuinely care for and love, and there's no need for guilt tripping ourselves for it. Of course, we all have different preferences, and maybe I'm a bit liberal when it comes to nature's finest, but I don't put limitations or restrictions on sex - just safety.
> 
> Sex is world peace. Now go enjoy yourselves! :laughing:


Amen Missy, Amen.


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## Essay

I've been lucky enough to have had sex with someone I was heads-over-heels for---a relationship that was everything I could have ever asked for---and now, well, it really doesn't seem like a big deal at all. These days, making people I like happy is all the more important than love, and sex becomes nothing but a tool among many---an esteemed tool, but a tool at the bottom of the toolbox nonetheless.


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## pinkrasputin

I am not so sure that sex with love is "better". I'll explain what I mean. 

I was once married for 8 years. During that time a smart therapist told me not to expect feelings of "love" to continue getting me off and want sex. That can only last for so long. It's romantic but it lacks endurance. 

I learned to enjoy sex for sex sake, regardless whether I am in a loving relationship or not. I enjoy sex for the pure physical pleasure it brings. Having raw animal sex has been way better than "Oh I love you so much" sex. 

But I still believe the more you know a person's body the better it becomes. Trust is also another factor which allows the two of you to drop your guards and go pure "animal". But MANY couples in committed relationships don't ever do this. Instead, they wait for feelings of love and use it to express their love...I'm not knocking it, I just think it will eventually be a let down if they continue to rely on that. Moreover, I think sex is a great way to end a fight. :happy:


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## Ignus

Sex is a rarity for me, and to be honest I'd be perfectly happy settling for flirting and cuddling and physical affection not including sex.

I -have- had sex... 2 and a half times? I say half because I dunno if it really counts if you keep all your clothes on (I'll leave your dirty minds to figure out what went down ^.~) 

Both times I had sex were one night stands, but it was nice. The girls really liked me and thought I was cute, so they seduced me into bed and sexed me up. XD. The second time... let's just say that was the biggest confidence booster I have ever received, and I have absolutely no insecurities when it comes to sex. I felt like a god among men for like a week.

Sex for me is almost like a puzzle, a really fun puzzle where intuition wins over everything else. "Hmm... I think, if I do this -here-... no that's not the right way, let's try -this-... Oh! yes, continue doing that, excellent response* 

While I do look forward to sex with a committed partner, I'm not at all against hooking up no strings attached. I think the problem lies when you try to fudge that boundary, like what happened to moby's friend. Having sex at the wrong time can ruin a friendship or relationship, so it's not something I think should be sought incessantly like most of my friends do, but having a wild night with a single lady who's into you and just wants to have some fun is completely healthy.


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## Vaka

MissyMaroon said:


> Haha, you guys and your love/emotional passionate sex.
> 
> I separate love and sex. All sex is is sex! That's all it is. And it's awesome! No need to romanticize it.
> 
> Sex with someone you love I'm sure is much, much better because of all the integrated emotions and feelings and pleasures in one.
> 
> But, seriously, I have nothing against casual sex or one night stands. As long as you're safe, it's all good. Sex by itself with someone you don't have deep feelings for can still be great, although not as great as with someone you genuinely care for and love, and there's no need for guilt tripping ourselves for it. Of course, we all have different preferences, and maybe I'm a bit liberal when it comes to nature's finest, but I don't put limitations or restrictions on sex - just safety.
> 
> Sex is world peace. Now go enjoy yourselves! :laughing:


Maybe...I'm not really experienced enough sexually to really know what's fine with me or what isn't though


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## Deja Vu

cbelle said:


> If that's freakish to you...
> :wink:


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## KateAusten

Sex with someone I love is better, but it's fun with pretty much anyone attractive and skilled.

Sometimes if there are a lot of feelings there it can be almost too intense, so much that it's uncomfortable or that I get distracted. Sex with a hookup or one night stand doesn't have that intensity that makes sex-in-love so awesome, but it's also usually a lot more relaxed and rarely uncomfortable.

It can also have significance that's not necessarily related to the person I'm having it with. The one night stand that was the perfect end to a fun day on vacation, helped me get over a crappy in bed ex, made me feel hot when I was having a fat day, whatever. Most of my one night stands represent something in my mind and are positive experiences to look back on, even though I didn't get attached to the guys at all.


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## tobeconfirmed

KateAusten said:


> It can also have significance that's not necessarily related to the person I'm having it with. The one night stand that was the perfect end to a fun day on vacation, helped me get over a crappy in bed ex, made me feel hot when I was having a fat day, whatever. Most of my one night stands represent something in my mind and are positive experiences to look back on, even though I didn't get attached to the guys at all.


I've had that previously where meeting that one person for that one night gives you just what you need to get back to conquering the world.


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## chaseut

Seems like alot of pressure these days to have sex.

I hope no one judges themselves too harshly.


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## MissyMaroon

Hey, I haven't had much sex either (I'm still young and have much ahead of me), but I'm just saying with or without love, regardless, it's all right - just be safe and have fun. If you don't like it, you don't like it. If I had intimate encounters (haha, what an interesting term) with people that didn't involve sex, it would still be nice on my part. It is life after all, and we must live it to our fullest. No need to hurry, though. We only have the rest of our lives.


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## Ungweliante




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## Deja Vu

I so knew someone was going to put this up.


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## Ungweliante

Heh, I aim to be predictable roud:


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## luige06

cbelle said:


> I want it to be in a relationship...
> 
> And I totally know I would be ammmmazing during sex. I spend so much of my time daydreaming up wonderful things to do with (or to, haha) my boyfriend. I'm totally ready for some passion :wink:


haha Cbelle I'm totally the same way ;D
Daydreaming about sex for me is a daily thing. Im gonna be amazing as far as pleasure giving the very first time I have sex. xD Or at least better than most people with previous encounters. haha



queenofleaves said:


> Honestly, I'm only 16, and I'm also shy...I've never really had sex before; I wouldn't want to do it with someone I didn't really have passion for though
> 
> I really think I wouldn't have that enjoyable a time with someone I didn't care about at all...but when I do find that person, it will all be about pleasing them
> I do think sex is something special and not all about pleasure though


Hey I'm 16 too.  I always love seeing other people around my age on here.
You're right sex is not just about pleasure it's about closeness, but you can be close without sex, so lets face it it's mostly about the pleasure. And you should have someone that can pleasure you just as much as you can pleasure them 



Essay said:


> I've been lucky enough to have had sex with someone I was heads-over-heels for---a relationship that was everything I could have ever asked for---and now, well, it really doesn't seem like a big deal at all. These days, making people I like happy is all the more important than love, and sex becomes nothing but a tool among many---an esteemed tool, but a tool at the bottom of the toolbox nonetheless.


hm, that is so very true Essay. I wonder if this was the relationship you told of before. 
It's good to make other people happy, but you should never have to be the tool of happiness for someone.



idris said:


>


Also i must say Epic win



Ungweliante said:


> Heh, I aim to be predictable roud:


And another epic win.


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## miamano

Arioche said:


> It's hard to post after so many "Sex + Love = Hurrah!" posts.
> 
> I separate sex and love almost completely. In fact, to be honest, the thought of having romantic sex mortified me in the past (And it still does to some degree). Part of it is because I see sex not as act of love, but method to establish control and connection. There is the factor of enjoyment as well, I guess - although I don't really get much physical pleasure out of it.
> 
> It's not like I sleep around, of course. But sex isn't a taboo for me at all (as long as it's consensual) and nor are one night stands.



Aren´t you an ENTP borderline? That would make sense and explain why you think of sex as establishing control/connection.

For me I am more into it for passion and/or closeness. I had a few one night stands when i was younger but now I know better. All in all I´ve had sex with six people, three of them were long time relationships. All guys were exaggerated and wanted to have more - but this was mainly because I felt real passion/lust. Since my twenties, I´m quite hard to get in bed. I analyse a lot before deciding to get closer to somebody. Cause there is no step back. Sex is opening up and living out your inner dream. I don´t do it to anybody and certainly not without being sure the relationship is serious.


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## miamano

MissyMaroon said:


> Haha, you guys and your love/emotional passionate sex.
> 
> Sex is world peace. Now go enjoy yourselves! :laughing:


Haha! I´ve just red your message. 
Hell, I´m all into world peace! Maybe it´s time to reconsider my above statement?


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## Arioche

miamano said:


> Aren´t you an ENTP borderline? That would make sense and explain why you think of sex as establishing control/connection.


Not at all, I'm as F as one can be (In fact, my secondary function Fi is tailing very close to my primary, Ne). The aspect of control probably has to do more with my Type-8 enneagram, as well as my own method of defense mechanism.

As for romanticism, I'm a terrible romantic fool and is incredibly passionate when it comes to love (although F =/= value on intimacy or romanticism). I just don't see love and sex in the same light. :wink:


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## cbelle

luige06 said:


> haha Cbelle I'm totally the same way ;D
> Daydreaming about sex for me is a daily thing. Im gonna be amazing as far as pleasure giving the very first time I have sex. xD Or at least better than most people with previous encounters. haha
> Also i must say Epic win


You're a nice person. 

And! and! I'm not horny... well, anymore... I'm only horny sometimes... or a lot of the time... but still! Aren't we all horny? Sometimes?

Love and sex are so intertwined, though love is greater than the other. I could have love without sex but never sex without love (at least of my own accord.) That's why it's called lovemaking.

ENFPs and sex are funny.

:laughing:


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## Deja Vu

It's great to be in love with someone you're having sex with.

But sex is still just sex. Can't be all serious on that *adult playground.*



luige06 said:


> Also i must say Epic win
> ---
> And another epic win.


Thanks, man!


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## Vaka

idris said:


> It's great to be in love with someone you're having sex with.
> 
> But sex is still just sex. Can't be all serious on that *adult playground.*


I guess so...I think I have a bad habit of romanticizing things lol


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## Deja Vu

queenofleaves said:


> I guess so...I think I have a bad habit of romanticizing things lol


Don't we all...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## susurration

queenofleaves said:


> I guess so...I think I have a bad habit of romanticizing things lol


Well nobody is right or wrong in this instance. It's purely an attitude/belief. 

People are not wrong to engage in safe casual sex, just as people are not wrong waiting to have sex until they love/are in a relationship... or any other attitude for that matter. 

You can romanticize things if that is your own tendency!. Perhaps that may change naturally over time, perhaps it wont... but you don't have to force yourself to adopt other views right now roud:


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## Hot Pocket

Essay said:


> I've been lucky enough to have had sex with someone I was heads-over-heels for---a relationship that was everything I could have ever asked for---and now, well, it really doesn't seem like a big deal at all. These days, making people I like happy is all the more important than love, and sex becomes nothing but a tool among many---an esteemed tool, but a tool at the bottom of the toolbox nonetheless.


The only person I've ever had sex with I was tottaly in love with, the only time that it didn't last thirty seconds, was the love making deal, it was nice, but the only time I really got anything out of sex was the last time I had it



pinkrasputin said:


> I am not so sure that sex with love is "better". I'll explain what I mean.
> 
> I was once married for 8 years. During that time a smart therapist told me not to expect feelings of "love" to continue getting me off and want sex. That can only last for so long. It's romantic but it lacks endurance.
> 
> I learned to enjoy sex for sex sake, regardless whether I am in a loving relationship or not. I enjoy sex for the pure physical pleasure it brings. Having raw animal sex has been way better than "Oh I love you so much" sex.
> 
> But I still believe the more you know a person's body the better it becomes. Trust is also another factor which allows the two of you to drop your guards and go pure "animal". But MANY couples in committed relationships don't ever do this. Instead, they wait for feelings of love and use it to express their love...I'm not knocking it, I just think it will eventually be a let down if they continue to rely on that. Moreover, I think sex is a great way to end a fight. :happy:


I am SERIOUSLY looking forward to "animal" sex, honestly I am a bit of a masochist, and the guy that I am dating is twice my size and about a 1000x stronger then me, I am kind of excited and partly afraid. But since the guy I had sex with was about the same strength as me maybe a little stronger, there wasn't really much to it, he was to shy about it, stupid INTP =/ nah, I love him he just needs to be more confident about himself

and 


Ungweliante said:


> YouTube - Salt-N-Pepa - Let's Talk About Sex


I partly picked the title for that reason



miamano said:


> For me I am more into it for passion and/or closeness. I had a few one night stands when i was younger but now I know better. All in all I´ve had sex with six people, three of them were long time relationships. All guys were exaggerated and wanted to have more - but this was mainly because I felt real passion/lust. Since my twenties, I´m quite hard to get in bed. I analyse a lot before deciding to get closer to somebody. Cause there is no step back. Sex is opening up and living out your inner dream. I don´t do it to anybody and certainly not without being sure the relationship is serious.


I reeeeeffuseee to have a one night stand, I must have a connection with someone to even feel sexualy for them honestly.

and truely the best sex that I had or I guess you can call it "sex" is with a woman that I loved more then I knew it was possible to love someone.

and animal sex happened, I just would like to experience that with a man.


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## Vaka

NatalieAnne said:


> Well nobody is right or wrong in this instance. It's purely an attitude/belief.
> 
> People are not wrong to engage in safe casual sex, just as people are not wrong waiting to have sex until they love/are in a relationship... or any other attitude for that matter.
> 
> You can romanticize things if that is your own tendency!. Perhaps that may change naturally over time, perhaps it wont... but you don't have to force yourself to adopt other views right now roud:


Thank you Honestly, that is how I think, I've always thought of sex as somethign special


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## Hot Pocket

queenofleaves said:


> Thank you Honestly, that is how I think, I've always thought of sex as somethign special


 
As have I...


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## noosabar

Hot Pocket said:


> hahaha no, the only person I've had sex with was an INTP.
> and Wtf is a Hot Pocket? Like a virbrator shaped like the food?
> 
> 
> 
> I can't say that I'm so hot in bed, You'll have to ask that INTP xD
> 
> 
> 
> hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Yes, sex before marrige can mess you up, hell my mom had me 11 days after she turned fourteen, I didn't have sex until 2 months before my 18th birthday and I've only had sex with that one person...
> 
> but there is this ESTP that I am dating, and I am thinking about sleeping with him, because I'm not so worried about the emotional pain anymore, after losing your virginity sex seems like it just isn't that big of a deal at all.
> 
> one night stands are bad though, I hope I never make that mistake


I am an INTP who dated an ENFP. Holy shit. That was some hot amazing sex, both agreed. Spontaneous, adventurous, imaginitive, energetic, insatable delights, and it simply did not stop. Untill the beautiful little baby came.


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## Hot Pocket

Well, maybe that's what he thought about me. I was thinking about asking him, but that is a horrible question
"how am I in bed?" yeah, bad.


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## Shanty

Moby said:


> But girls always want one-night stands from me. It's easy to compromise...Just make out.


I had to chime in *immediately* when I saw this: are you serious?! If some (frig - MOST) of my male friends heard you say that, they'd automatically think you were gay or something. Dont get me wrong, I think it makes much more sense than the alternative, and agree with you! But I have NEVER been out with a guy who didn't try to sleep with me pretty persistently.

As for me, as an ENFP in bed? I'm totally open-minded and NOT shy at all (probably my age too). If I want something, I either take it or ask directly for it ...even in the earliest stages of a sexual relationship. I just know what I like and have NO problems asserting that, lol

I think I'm pretty dominant sexually though (liking to be on top most of the time, being sceptical about doggystyle ... cant see what the guy is doing, plus it is aerodynamically crappy for the girl). :laughing:


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## noosabar

Hot Pocket said:


> Well, maybe that's what he thought about me. I was thinking about asking him, but that is a horrible question
> "how am I in bed?" yeah, bad.


The apex if engagement. You share your most intimate personal self." Lets talk about sex". I would not be offended but rather be open to such a question. Sex is where I really say i love you to a person. Im not talking about perverted dialogue, rather is this part of the realtionship working for you. It sounds like he may have a stick up his ass about something. I get that way sometimes and I know how hard it is for my partner to deal with it. Especially when I dont know myself. A bad question? I dont know.


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## Hillary

While I think sex can be romantic, I generally don't get caught up in that detail. I'm 19 and lost my virginity at 15 to the guy I'm currently dating, and it really wasn't that big of a deal when we did it. He's an ENTP and we just had _fun_ with it. We have the mind set that sex doesn't have to be a recreation of The Notebook everytime you do it. Just do it. Not to say we haven't had times when we were feeling incredibly close, but it was just closeness.

I had two friends of mine that celebrated their one year anniversery with the most cliched "trail of rose petals and candles everywhere..." sex. I wanted to vomit. I'm glad they had a fantastic time, but that is defnititely not for me. Personally, I'd be worried about the candles burning down my house, which would get me unfocused, and chaos would ensue. For me, just give me stable surface (we're not very coordinated...) and I'm good. 

The best sex I had was at my cousins wedding while my parents were at the rehearsal dinner, my boyfriend and I were left alone in the hotel. Afterwards, what did we do? Got pizza and watched TV. No hours of snuggling, just "hey that was really good...but I'm hungry so...lets go get food...now..."


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## FinesseBrawler

The only requirements that I have is that (a) I actually like her and she actually likes me, (b) we both want to do it, (c) we both know what we're getting into.

(a) We don't have to be in love, married, dating, etc. I have no problems fooling around with friends that I enjoy spending time with so long as (c)'s there.

But I have to genuinely enjoy being around her, and she has to genuinely enjoy being around me. I don't need a strong emotional connection, but I at least need a personal one. The more I like her, the easier it is to think about sex and the more likely I'm going to enjoy it. There's a lot to be said for trust too. Someone you're really comfortable with lets you relax and really sink your teeth into the sex.

But I can't do one night stands with someone I don't genuinely like. A model could come up to me and say "me, you, car, now" and I'd pass. Some cute stranger that's drunk and just horny? Definitely not. Paying for sex ranks up there with cannibalism. Regardless of how attractive you are, if you can't make me genuinely laugh, sex is going to seem foreign. If I don't like your attitude or morals, I'll pass. And so on. These situations aren't any better than masturbation; in many cases, they're worse. 

I'm not saying it's a 100% foolproof rule. When you're sufficiently horny, you'll sometimes compromise, but I see people, particularly males, who are constantly on the prowl for any kind of bare minimum sex, and I just don't understand it at all.

(b) is interesting too. Even if I do like the other person, I have to know that she wants to please me because if I do like her, I do want to please her. And I'm not talking about some macho "ooh, look at what a skilled lover I am" BS. Fucking for ego is retarded. Sex is just much better when the other person is into it and just isn't doing it to get it over with or get a checkbox checked.

A lot of people have been in a relationship long enough that the partner sometimes puts out just because you're really horny. And if they show me that "hey, you need a release; let me give it to you", I'm fine with it. It's an act freely given. Someday, you'll be the one returning the favor. But if she sighs and says "cmon make it quick", then that's a cold shower. I can wait.

Similarly, I hate it if the person is trying to fake things or over-exaggerate the experience to stroke my ego. Moaning like a porn star is a big turn-off. But when you hear the shortened breaths, her starting to hold her breath, as she's about to come and then the uncontrolled, irregular grunting and rapid gulps of air as it occurs. It's not necessarily the stuff of movies, but that's the connection I need, not some hyper-fantasized exercise.

(c)'s a requirement just because if it's not there, the potential aftermath is like playing Russian roulette. There isn't any sex worth that kind of emotional collateral damage.


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## remer

My first question is, what is sex and what isn't? Based on the answer I have been with just a few women to needing two hands to count them. I tend to think that real sex is when you go all the way, and I am fiercely against going all the way with everyone. 

To put in into words, the women I have been all the way with, my keyword descriptions are: nirwana, mistake, lust. I have always known, and now really know, that I want the nirvana type of girl. But likely alike finding a spouse to marry, so is finding the nirwana type. Hm, and I'm really thinking about group marriage, I need trust too.


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## KateAusten

remer said:


> My first question is, what is sex and what isn't? Based on the answer I have been with just a few women to needing two hands to count them. I tend to think that real sex is when you go all the way, and I am fiercely against going all the way with everyone.
> 
> To put in into words, the women I have been all the way with, my keyword descriptions are: nirwana, mistake, lust. I have always known, and now really know, that I want the nirvana type of girl. But likely alike finding a spouse to marry, so is finding the nirwana type. Hm, and I'm really thinking about group marriage, I need trust too.


When I say "sex" I mean oral, genital, manual, or anal sex. Direct contact with someone's genitals that does (or could) result in orgasm for one of you. I don't attach any special significance to the act of penile-vaginal penetration so to me that part is just a technicality. But I get that other people like to use different definitions so to each their own. It doesn't really concern me what went down after all, unless it was with me or one of my sexual partners.


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## knght990

I think the first time sets the tone of all the times that follow.


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## Hot Pocket

I am so akward during sex...it's starting to piss me off, I am shy and weird. I am tottaly outgoing but it seems when I get that close to someone, I shut down tottaly. I don't know how to fix it.

I've had sex with two people (one being this past weekend since I did in fact mention that I only have had sex with one person, I thought I'd mention that) it's all akward and gah.

I'm so confused


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## Musikaman

Slurzzz said:


> Awww how old is she? :happy:
> 
> Into the Woods is one of the few musicals I haven't seen, is that the one that's like a fairy tale mash up or something?


12... just the right age to really start appreciating it all.

Yes, fairy tale mash-up with a fairly decent arch and a couple touching songs. Very entertaining. I grabbed it online... from a site... yeah....


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## JulyB2

One of my faves, but so loooong :} I wish it was broken into 2 wonderful plays. It think it'd be so much more popular if it wasnt so long. I mean, I'm so amazed it isn't extremely well known / majorly played all over.
It really is amazing 
Yes, Slurz, you are very right 
"...ah well back to my wiiiife"


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## Slurzzz

Musikaman said:


> 12... just the right age to really start appreciating it all.
> 
> Yes, fairy tale mash-up with a fairly decent arch and a couple touching songs. Very entertaining. I grabbed it online... from a site... yeah....


Nice, never got around to watching it but I'll check it out!


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## JulyB2

DAMN, girl! You're Quick! 
Is that really your pic? It looks really familiar. Im so bad with names tho


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## Slurzzz

JulyB2 said:


> DAMN, girl! You're Quick!
> Is that really your pic? It looks really familiar. Im so bad with names tho


Quick in the art of procrastination! I should be finishing my Writer's craft project juuuust about now.

That is me in my picture, why, remind you of someone?


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## JulyB2

Yes, but not sure who. I think she's famous tho, which is why I asked. Swear I am NOT coming on to you, but that pic is absolutely adorable  You look much older (not in a bad way) than the fairy pic  

Get to it, lady!  Best of grades to you!!! Soooo much better to get great grades the 1st time around 
Good luck, hon!!


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## SilverMarLuna

hey!!!

As for me I am 24 and i have not had sex, i don't want to be with somebody just cause. I know i haven't met the right guy, once i feel a guy wants me bc of sex or whatever than it makes me not care and not even consider him for any "potential" relationship.
then sometimes I feel like giving up and just go and do whatever, but at the end of the day i guess i am stronger than what i think.lol


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## StandingTiger

I'm 23, and I could never do the one-night-stand thing. It's simply not for me.

However, I'm a *huge* fan of it when I'm in a longterm relationship. My boyfriends typically have a difficult time keeping up with my insanely high libido.


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## neptunesky

Haha jeeze... I almost had a perfect one night stand but the dude ended up texting me and I couldn't help myself! He was just so damn cute and hot. I had even sneaked off in the morning before he woke up! I would have been happy to leave it as a one night stand. It's a bit strange that he wished to see me again. Weird! Lol. 

I'm okay with casual sex and stuff. It's fun. I have a FWB. I like our relationship. It's a bit odd but it works. I don't fancy him even though I thought I did previously. I don't want our relationship to change. I like the idea of casual dating because it's not concrete. I hate the idea of "forever". I like the randomness. It always brings many surprises... though not all are good. 

I've never really had sex with anyone I loved. I've had sex with people I've liked a lot... or in one case, was obsessed with. I'm afraid to learn what it's like.


----------



## Paradox1987

I'm 23, and whilst I have had one-night stands etc; I can't say that's my de facto modus operandi. I prefer having an emotional connexion before I leap into bed with someone. I've only had two serious relationships, but both blew up in my face quite savagely. I can't say I keep tally of number of sexual partners, but I know it's more than two and less than twenty.  

Yeah, in a relationship (or after some long standing dating with one individual) I have a very high sex drive, like many ENFPs report. It can be hard to find someone who can keep up, especially as I'm always up for trying something new (within reason). One night stands (at least for me) happen for a variety of different reasons, a sudden, compulsive need for companionship for example, or indeed just frustration. I can only stomach a one-night stand when both parties are open and accepting as to what this is. I would never promise a girl I'm not interested in, the world in order to try and bed her, as that is morally unconscionable to me. But as long as the two participants and aware and consenting, I say rock on. I tend to find the one-night stand slightly unsatisfactory, and prefer sex in a relationship (or with one specific person I'm dating). 

So weird as it sounds, I don't like one-night stands per se, but I can't 100% rule them out and say with full certainty "I'll never have one". Weirdly though, in a relationship I'm loyal in extremis and won't play away from home. I also tend to struggle to leave a relationship that's started to fall apart.


----------



## Filigeedreamer

I don't do one night stands and I don't think I ever will...simply not my style. I've no moral objection or anything...just, yeah, not for me. I have to feel something for the person to be interested. 

I guess I fit the naughty libraian clique to some extent. I'm a bookish young woman (who works in a bookshop), I normally come across as cute or nerdy, I don't tend to go for especially sexy or reviling clothes and I don't tend to disuss my sex life. People frequently assume I am a prudish little thing...Ah...how very very wrong they are. :tongue: Once I find a suitable victim-I mean partner...it is an entirly different story. Hee hee hee


----------



## silmarillion

Type 4. No more words needed. :laughing:

I don't have to *love* someone to have sex with her, but I must like her. One night stands are nothing for me, not when I'm sober :wink: I think sex is more than just the pleasure, at least that's how I want it to be.


----------



## NateBoiWhite

Oh mylanta lol from the sounds of this chat I need a fellow ENFP to work the middle!  

personally Sex is cloud 9 gift of life....

And while the site of curves, dips , hips, and lips attract the shit out of me I am not a one night stand kind of a guy... feels dirty!

Although friend/lovers is dope! 

Personally I like sex for alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll night I dont like 15 min wham bam I like fucking all night as moans and groans = my fountain of youth lol 

anyway.... this subjects making me wanna call my ex over.....drunk dialing off lust lol


----------



## SilverMarLuna

i think i need to find me and ENFP too lol.. oh boy that'd be an awesome combination!!!


----------



## willhite2

Slurzzz said:


> Quick in the art of procrastination! I should be finishing my Writer's craft project juuuust about now.
> 
> That is me in my picture, why, remind you of someone?


You pic reminds me of someone (not sure) too... but I agree you look like a famous person of some sort... :/


----------



## Lullaby

I'd almost given up because of my ex, who was about as passionate as an ironing board. I doubted my being an ENFP 7 sx/sp, actually, since everything pointed to my supposedly being a sex addict - when it wasn't appealing in the slightest. Buuuut then I met someone else and just a month later we were like... I'm struggling with my vocabulary to put it into words.  Not too much of an emotional/mental connection going on, but damn! He's easy on the eyes and a cute little beast under the right circumstances. So, yeah, sex is awesome now. As for one night stands, I find that I mostly agree with Arioche (yes, I read the whole thread xD). I can and do separate sex and love and I can see myself having one of them casual encounters. I used to be really self-conscious and unable to enjoy it properly, but it's best to just let any and all embarrassment go.

^^


----------



## 3053

Moby said:


> I'm not into one night stands. In fact, I haven't had sex yet. To me it's something that society's said is hard to do, the whole no sex until marriage thing. Part of it comes from my religious values, but more so because I've seen how sex with the wrong individual CAN lead to a lot of pain. One of my ex's had been pressured into sex by her last boyfriend and devastated emotionally, "pressured" was a pretty weak word for what he did. She had a no sex before she got married rule to protect herself in the future and her reasoning was more what I agreed with than my own religious ones.
> 
> But girls always want one-night stands from me. It's easy to compromise...Just make out.



I LIKE this response a lot.


----------



## Hokahey

Hrmm, this post makes me want to find an ENFP.  Seems like the sex drive definetly matches mine. Also, I think it's great most of you don't like the one night stand thing, same here. Many many nights, and there has to be amazing passion.


----------



## ShineyLightOoO

Hot Pocket said:


> In a matter of number of partners and how much you enjoy it.
> 
> like do you want it to be in a relationship or are you good with one night stands?
> 
> 
> I have only had sex with one person, I don't really know how I feel about it I like the emotional conection so a one night stand would likely make me feel guilty


This is tricky because my values and my actions are different in this area. 

I agree that one should wait and try to abstain from sex, and enter relationships with the intent to have them work. 

BUT

I love sex... just let the relationship happen if it is a one night stand o well, if it goes on a few months that's cool.. if we end up getting married so be it. ENFP's sex drive is so hard to resist!


----------



## Flailingbird

MissyMaroon said:


> Haha, you guys and your love/emotional passionate sex.
> 
> I separate love and sex. All sex is is sex! That's all it is. And it's awesome! No need to romanticize it.
> 
> Sex with someone you love I'm sure is much, much better because of all the integrated emotions and feelings and pleasures in one.
> 
> But, seriously, I have nothing against casual sex or one night stands. As long as you're safe, it's all good. Sex by itself with someone you don't have deep feelings for can still be great, although not as great as with someone you genuinely care for and love, and there's no need for guilt tripping ourselves for it. Of course, we all have different preferences, and maybe I'm a bit liberal when it comes to nature's finest, but I don't put limitations or restrictions on sex - just safety.
> 
> Sex is world peace. Now go enjoy yourselves! :laughing:


After being in a long-term relationship (a little over four years) that had its share of sexual-related problems (we never did actually "do it," which added to the tension, but we did "do things"- ah, high school and all of those clever, thoughtful euphemisms...) that sexual activity when you don't love the person can be one of the most soul-numbing feelings in the world; however, we were a pretty dysfunctional couple to begin with, which probably had more to do with my reluctance than anything else could.

Otherwise, I agree with the above. Sex is sex, love is love, though you can certainly mix the two, and I don't judge anyone based on their choices (unless you're being unsafe). I'm kind of liberal for someone who grew up in a household where sex was _never_ mentioned; not enough to be whiplash or rebellion in the strictest sense, but I digress. I've never really craved anyone in that particular way that I didn't already have a strong emotional attachment to; however, I'm young, and don't like ruling out things I've never experienced (except, you know, STDs).

But with my current boyfriend... Man, I _want_ this one, _need_ this one, but he's playing hard to get. No matter. I'll get him eventually, no need to rush things. :tongue:


----------



## pinkrasputin




----------



## Hokahey

What would the ENFP's like to know about sex? lol....


----------



## pinkrasputin

mrniceftw said:


> What would the ENFP's like to know about sex? lol....


Fuck. I could teach you a thing or two. Just ask. :wink:


----------



## Hokahey

pinkrasputin said:


> Fuck. I could teach you a thing or two. Just ask. :wink:


I'm an active visual learner mostly. ;P

and who's to say that doesn't go both ways.


----------



## pinkrasputin

mrniceftw said:


> I'm an active visual learner mostly. ;P
> 
> and who's to say that doesn't go both ways.


Wait. You're an INFJ. How come you knew to volley the ball back? I'm now confused.


----------



## Hokahey

pinkrasputin said:


> Wait. You're an INFJ. How come you knew to volley the ball back? I'm now confused.


I dunno. I thought that was the point of our type, to always surprise. Are you rescinding the offer now that you are confused? lol....

Maybe it's because we are referring to sex....


----------



## MuChApArAdOx

Now that i'm in my 30's SEX is the best its ever been. I've never been into one night stands, although i don't
have to be in love to have great sex. I can't speak for all ENFP, but for me, i love experimenting , trying new things. I think
once you are totally comfortable in your skin, it makes the sex wilder, more exciting. In having conversations with other mature women, we concluded being sexual with our own bodies has increased the level of the sexual experience. I like to explore and discover with myself, passing along the information to my partner what feels best for me. Communication is a key , be opened to new ideas, you never know, you just may enjoy it. :wink:


----------



## pinkrasputin

MuChApArAdOx said:


> Now that i'm in my 30's SEX is the best its ever been. I've never been into one night stands, although i don't
> have to be in love to have great sex. I can't speak for all ENFP, but for me, i love experimenting , trying new things. I think
> once you are totally comfortable in your skin, it makes the sex wilder, more exciting. In having conversations with other mature women, we concluded being sexual with our own bodies has increased the level of the sexual experience. I like to explore and discover with myself, passing along the information to my partner what feels best for me. Communication is a key , be opened to new ideas, you never know, you just may enjoy it. :wink:


Omg, yes, yes, yes!!!!!! You're my sister! :happy:


----------



## devoid

I've only ever had one sexual partner, and I'm still with him. <3 I feel like I made a good choice.

I don't think I could ever have a one night stand, and if I did I would feel terrible about myself.


----------



## AgAu

Yep, my sex life got dramatically better when the wifey hit 30+. I'm doing all I can to keep up with her, it's a wonderful problem to have.


----------



## MuChApArAdOx

AgAu said:


> Yep, my sex life got dramatically better when the wifey hit 30+. I'm doing all I can to keep up with her, it's a wonderful problem to have.


ENFP are a wild bunch sexually:wink:...i actually get very cranky if i don't have sex everyday, or the least every other day..yup..i'm a mink.:crazy:


----------



## Hokahey

MuChApArAdOx said:


> ENFP are a wild bunch sexually:wink:...i actually get very cranky if i don't have sex everyday, or the least every other day..yup..i'm a mink.:crazy:


Hrmm good to know, seems like a very good trend with ENFP's. Here's a question for ENFP's, do you like it switched up every once in awhile? Like instead of fully passionate with foreplay all the time, do you also like quickies?


----------



## MuChApArAdOx

mrniceftw said:


> Hrmm good to know, seems like a very good trend with ENFP's. Here's a question for ENFP's, do you like it switched up every once in awhile? Like instead of fully passionate with foreplay all the time, do you also like quickies?


 Every session is different, it depends on the mood. Sometimes we can be tired, although still sexually active. At these times, its all about me:tongue:...Sex can start off one way, ending completed different. Meaning, it can start off very passionate, ending wild and crazy, or vise versa.

Quickies are the best, i love them.


----------



## Hokahey

That's awesome, I have a very similar view point on it. Though quickies I don't feel are the best, they are fun though.


----------



## MuChApArAdOx

mrniceftw said:


> That's awesome, I have a very similar view point on it. Though quickies I don't feel are the best, they are fun though.


Well i can be mischievous :laughing:...so quickies work well, always.


----------



## Hokahey

MuChApArAdOx said:


> Well i can be mischievous :laughing:...so quickies work well, always.


Well yeah they are nice, I just mean I also like that sex that lasts for half an hour to an hour sometimes more. Definitely can go for either, and definitely everyday (except for that one week out of the month, then I get to hope I get other things).


----------



## viva

I actually don't like quickies, usually. I feel like I'm being cheated out of all the other yummy things that go along with sex. Of course there are exceptions, but if I had the option of a quickie versus normal sex, I would _always_ choose normal sex. My ex was really into the idea of quickies for the sake of it being a quickie and I never understood the appeal. I felt like he was just being lazy. : P


----------



## Eerie

I've never enjoyed sex. It just isn't pleasurable for me. I mean, if I'm in a relationship, I'll have sex. But... I do it for the other person's satisfaction.


----------



## pinkrasputin




----------



## viva

pinkrasputin said:


>


I just choked on my coffee.


----------



## Varkman

As a 13-years married, 38-year-old ENFP and I can say that sex drives do change with age. The vaginal canal gets loose, especially after a baby - that's not necessarily a good thing, it's hard to get enough friction. My wife's sex drive is almost nil anyway, and when she is in the mood she's never really interested in "fun". I'm permitted to "take care of myself" if need be.

Lacking of sex drive with age is something that happens to some people, male and female - and not exactly something you can politely ask your fiancee's mother and father about before you get married. It's smart to talk about issues of masturbation with your spouse and attitudes about it. When you get married it all seems like it will be great forever, but forever is a longer time than any newlywed can fathom. This is why relationship is important in marriage - when the sex isn't there you have to hold onto _something_!

If you're a young person reading this thinking "ew", well... _I_ didn't plan on getting older, either!


----------



## Fourplay

Varkman said:


> As a 13-years married, 38-year-old ENFP and I can say that sex drives do change with age. The vaginal canal gets loose, especially after a baby - that's not necessarily a good thing, it's hard to get enough friction. My wife's sex drive is almost nil anyway, and when she is in the mood she's never really interested in "fun". I'm permitted to "take care of myself" if need be.
> 
> Lacking of sex drive with age is something that happens to some people, male and female - and not exactly something you can politely ask your fiancee's mother and father about before you get married. It's smart to talk about issues of masturbation with your spouse and attitudes about it. When you get married it all seems like it will be great forever, but forever is a longer time than any newlywed can fathom. This is why relationship is important in marriage - when the sex isn't there you have to hold onto _something_!
> 
> If you're a young person reading this thinking "ew", well... _I_ didn't plan on getting older, either!


This is why I'll never marry.

It isn't logical to me in any way. 

So many actors and men before me have taken the plunge with so many resources and come out nil for it. With the exception of children, which I do adore and I'd like to have child and a family of my own, I don't like the concept of marriage. I much prefer to be a bachelor all of my life and have different girlfriends. The life of Leonardo DiCarprio or George Clooney makes a lot of sense for me. It reminds me, Tom Cruise is on his 3rd divorce.


----------



## Angua

Fourplay said:


> This is why I'll never marry.


Or have children...


P.s. And I'm not young... but still... ewwwww...:shocked:


:tongue:


----------



## Wildling

I'm unimpressed with sex on a casual level. I can never avoid disappointment with decisions like that. I'm so gushy, loving, cuddly and affectionate that if I can't do that with the person I am having sex with then I'd rather just skip the idea all together. My standards for a sex partner are pretty damn high. Though this is not to say I haven't done the casual sex thing quite a few times. My sex partner amount is about 15ish.


----------



## Pucca

Varkman said:


> I can say that sex drives do change with age.


Well, I couldn't let this go without responding...meddle I must! 
*Most women approaching their 40's are in their sexual prime.*
I'd say there are other factors going on in your lives and in the marriage that make her uncomfortable. 
I'll throw out a few ideas...because I'm nice like that. 
***She may be touched out. I don't know your particular life situation, but you have said she is an INFP. If she's a stay-at-home-mom with children then she is on call 24/7/365 and needs a break. Being an "I" makes this a desperate situation. If she works-out-of-the-home then she has been tapped out by coworkers and the demands of her job only to come home to more people demanding her attention. In either scenario you could be just one more needy person draining the hell out of her. 
***You said somewhere that she is overweight. This will affect her sex drive. Have you made it a priority for her to get time away from the home to exercise? If she has children in the home, are you willing to invest in a gym membership and childcare on site? 
***Can you allow her a few hours in the evening to be alone, no interruptions, so that she can go into her INFP land and regenerate? I'm sure that could make her more willing to return your generosity.



Varkman said:


> The vaginal canal gets loose, especially after a baby - that's not necessarily a good thing, it's hard to get enough friction. My wife's sex drive is almost nil anyway, and when she is in the mood she's never really interested in "fun".


Ok, so...I definitely have to address these comments because you can do something about it. 
***The vagina is a muscle. The more it is worked, the more it will tighten back up. The more times you can make her orgasm, the better for it and it will improve. 
***Are you going bare? If you're using a barrier method, then you're not likely to feel much anyway. Bare is soooooooo much better. I can guarantee that if you're not feeling anything, neither is she. There really is no wonder she wouldn't be all enthused.
***There are *cough* positions *cough* *cough* that can be used to narrow the canal and enhance sensation, if you catch my drift. 

Anyway, I think that is all I had to share. I hope something up there is helpful to you in your situation. 

:kitteh:


----------



## Alysaria

@Pucca Laughing....so...hard....breathing....difficult. XD I was half expecting you to link to a website of Kegel exercises.


----------



## Pucca

Alysaria said:


> @_Pucca_ Laughing....so...hard....breathing....difficult. XD


That makes me so happy!!! (((hugs))) :kitteh:


----------



## BooMonster

Pucca said:


> *Most women approaching their 40's are in their sexual prime.*


Booyeah! 


Pucca said:


> ***The vagina is a muscle. The more it is worked, the more it will tighten back up. The more times you can make her orgasm, the better for it and it will improve.


 Cool!  ...I'll take those over a dozen Kegals any and everyday!

Yes, definitely sex drive waxes and wanes over a life time; especially after having children. Especially if still breast feeding; hormones goes into mothering mode. Lol. And don't think caesarians solve any bodily issues. It just makes for other issues.


----------



## Pucca

BooMonster said:


> Booyeah!
> Cool!  ...I'll take those over a dozen Kegals any and everyday!


Right?! Hahahaha, besides Kegels are for the pelvic floor, you need something to contract the smooth muscle of the vagina.
Basically, if we ladies don't use it, _we lose it._ :shocked:


----------



## BooMonster

Pucca said:


> Basically, if we ladies don't use it, _we lose it._


That explains _so much_! It becomes (hopefully) a positive cycle


----------



## bstew

I've had several partners, because I enjoy sex! There's an emotional as well as a physical pleasure that I enjoy! I would love to do this if I'm in a relationship, but one night stands are okay as well! I've had two in my lifetime but the majority of them came shortly after I've taken these women on dates or I would like to call them enjoying Good Company! I think alot of the problems that people who have sex think you should be in a relationship! What's wrong with being sexually attracted to someone without being emotional tied to them! It takes a lot of energy to be in relationship with someone considering that you want to do right by being monogamus! It takes sacrifice, compromising, and surrending your ego for the greater good! My opinion!


----------



## Destiny Lund

I would only ever have sex with one person, that is my soulmate I'm with now, my husband. Sex is completely amazing & a must. I like some really kinky things, but I'm not extremely kinky. Since I started having sex, I've never been without sex for more than 3 days, & that's only happened a few times. When it comes to sex, I'm completely into it physically & emotionally.


----------



## NaughyChimp

Destiny Lund said:


> my soulmate I'm with now, my husband.


 Just out of curiosity, what Type is your soulmate-husband and how long have the 2 of you been married, pls?


----------



## Destiny Lund

NaughyChimp said:


> Just out of curiosity, what Type is your soulmate-husband and how long have the 2 of you been married, pls?


He's an INTJ, we've been together for over 7 yrs, been married for almost 1 yr. (LOL, I was thinking almost 2 yrs for some reason.)


----------



## Destiny Lund

Moxie said:


> I love sex. Sex loves me. I wish all women were multi-orgasmic like I am.  Willing to try anything except extreme pain, humiliation or other gross things (think scat...omg. gross) and have a sexual bucket list (which might be a good thread to start!!)


Gotta love multiples!  I wish all women could experience it too. According to studies I've read, approximately 30% of women can't even have orgasms without clitoral stimulation. There are so man studies concerning women's orgasms it's not even funny! LOL!


----------



## Pizal

Practice makes perfect.


----------



## NaughyChimp

Destiny Lund said:


> approximately 30% of women can't even have orgasms without clitoral stimulation.


 More like 70%


----------



## Hokahey

Destiny Lund said:


> There are so many studies concerning women's orgasms it's not even funny! LOL!


Well why not? LOL...

It's not like we have anything better to do on this blue marble. I mean we could sit around worrying about what side of the marble people were born/live on and how their minds believe certain things, OR we could have fun with our lives and focus on orgasms.


----------



## Ed S

I've been with an ENFP and an INFP and what I liked is that they always got me completely relaxed and it was nice. You guys are very comforting. I'm not saying boring comfort sounds boring. What I mean is massage with scented oils. One girl who was ENFP would always have water she scented with herbs or flowers she kept in the fridge and after when we were all sweaty she'd spray it all over us it was so sweet. I guess I would describe it as a complete experience. It was never the same but the mood was always set nicely. Some people really don't know how to set the mood but when NFPs are experienced they are really good at getting dirty without it seeming shameful or weird even if its shameful and weird....it was so sensual (that sounds so cheesey)


----------



## CodeGuru

I've had sexytime with 4 partners, and I'm certain all of which are the ENFP type.
I don't know what it is about you guys but I can really let myself go with your type.

I don't know whether to feel guilty or proud, because well it's 4 people! Anyway, these are some of my closest friends which I still have a very healthy relationship.
I've been told that I'm very sweet at lovemaking. I don't know why this happens. As an INTJ, I find others telling me that I'm a bit cold and distant and stoic. I guess it's because I don't think with my emotions. But the ENFPs I have gotten close to make me feel naturally much more at ease and I can share things with them that I disclose to other people. Somehow I guess they find this part of me very attractive?
One thing I've noticed that still manages to baffle me is how the "draining" feeling I get with most people, as an introvert, is completely bypassed by these very special ENFPs. It's almost scary. Why are you guys so special?


----------



## windflower95

I idealize it for mariage in a traditional fashion...
but I'm deffenaintly driven for it.. I want to get married, and have a husband so I can go wild..
i want him to chase me around the house XD
do guys like that kinda stuff anymore??


----------



## RetroVortex

windflower95 said:


> I idealize it for mariage in a traditional fashion...
> but I'm deffenaintly driven for it.. I want to get married, and have a husband so I can go wild..
> i want him to chase me around the house XD
> do guys like that kinda stuff anymore??


Guys like me do... ;D

(Maybe not the marriage part though... (Its a legality thing mostly))

EDIT: (Though to be perfectly honest I wouldn't know what I would want because I've not had sex. Though I'm pretty sure I'd be into anything within reasonable boundaries (gross things would make me sick for sure. And I don't see myself wearing a gimp suit any time soon. But I would go Rocky Horror should I think the lady likes it! XD))

(Definately wouldn't rush into anything physical with a person. Though, even as I type now I'm stimulated. (I am VERY easy to stimulate, I had to stop reading a book at work because there was a sex scene in it and it was erotic as hell! PHEW! *starts fanning*), so it would definately be painful to hold back on both ends! XD)


----------



## J Squirrel

windflower95 said:


> I idealize it for mariage in a traditional fashion...
> but I'm deffenaintly driven for it.. I want to get married, and have a husband so I can go wild..
> i want him to chase me around the house XD
> do guys like that kinda stuff anymore??


Yes.


----------



## Azubane

All i can say is that I am lucky that I am disease free after so many adventures. Good girls tend to be more into kissing and sweet talk while bad girls are aggressive and appear to be possessed by the







sometimes.


----------



## Gatito Bandito

Yes, ENFP sex is THE BEST!!!


Heck, even one of their hugz is so goooood.... :kitteh:


----------



## Azubane

Gatito Bandito said:


> Yes, ENFP sex is THE BEST!!!
> 
> 
> Heck, even one of their hugz is so goooood.... :kitteh:


----------



## Gatito Bandito

Azubane said:


>


Eh, wouldn't be the 1st time... :wink:


----------



## sunsilhouette

What a breath of relief this post is! I am in a weird limbo where I intensely crave sex (seriously, sex sounds so fun), but also strongly feel that I need to wait for a committed relationship (which I have not been in yet). Nice to know that there are others that feel the same! 

As previous posts (http://personalitycafe.com/enfp-forum-inspirers/18861-enfps-high-sexual-drive.html) have illustrated, many ENFPs seem to have a high sex-drive, which makes sense: we love other people, are romantic and playful, are intuitive about the needs of others, and enjoy making other people happy (so to speak). 

Yet we are "value-driven." As we also get hurt easily and avoid sharing out deepest, most intimate selves with others, it is no wonder that many of us include "waiting" in our framework of values. What a weird dichotomy...

My best friend (an ISTP) and I were talking about my libido one time and she spouted that I should just get a hook-up buddy to lose it to. I replied saying that maybe that would be a good idea, but I would need a person who respected me and I was friends with and went on and on and on before I basically described a boyfriend. She thought it was hilarious.

I, personally, just place so much stock in mutuality, respect, and trust. I hate how girly this is, but I do very much tie sex to feelings. Not in a cheesy romcom sort of way, but in a very honest way. I "gave away" my first kiss to just get it over with and I do regret that in many ways. I don't want that to happen with sex. As personalitypage puts it "[ENFPs] whole-heartedly embrace the opportunity for closeness with their mates, believing sexual intimacy to be a positive, fun way *to express how much you love each other.*" For me, love doesn't necessarily need to exist, but a real sense of commitment and depth need to be there with a partner. 

I also think sex has to be better with someone I care about. Someone who I have a good line of communication with and understand. 

Eh. For now, I'll just stick to lots of playful make-out sessions. God, sometimes this values thing can really suck...


----------



## Compassionate Misanthrope

sunsilhouette said:


> What a breath of relief this post is! I am in a weird limbo where I intensely crave sex (seriously, sex sounds so fun), but also strongly feel that I need to wait for a committed relationship (which I have not been in yet). Nice to know that there are others that feel the same!
> 
> As previous posts (http://personalitycafe.com/enfp-forum-inspirers/18861-enfps-high-sexual-drive.html) have illustrated, many ENFPs seem to have a high sex-drive, which makes sense: we love other people, are romantic and playful, are intuitive about the needs of others, and enjoy making other people happy (so to speak).
> 
> Yet we are "value-driven." As we also get hurt easily and avoid sharing out deepest, most intimate selves with others, it is no wonder that many of us include "waiting" in our framework of values. What a weird dichotomy...
> 
> My best friend (an ISTP) and I were talking about my libido one time and she spouted that I should just get a hook-up buddy to lose it to. I replied saying that maybe that would be a good idea, but I would need a person who respected me and I was friends with and went on and on and on before I basically described a boyfriend. She thought it was hilarious.
> 
> I, personally, just place so much stock in mutuality, respect, and trust. I hate how girly this is, but I do very much tie sex to feelings. Not in a cheesy romcom sort of way, but in a very honest way. I "gave away" my first kiss to just get it over with and I do regret that in many ways. I don't want that to happen with sex. As personalitypage puts it "[ENFPs] whole-heartedly embrace the opportunity for closeness with their mates, believing sexual intimacy to be a positive, fun way *to express how much you love each other.*" For me, love doesn't necessarily need to exist, but a real sense of commitment and depth need to be there with a partner.
> 
> I also think sex has to be better with someone I care about. Someone who I have a good line of communication with and understand.
> 
> Eh. For now, I'll just stick to lots of playful make-out sessions. God, sometimes this values thing can really suck...


You just keep waiting girl. I played around a lot when I was younger, but when I finally had sex with someone I was really in love with it was so much better. I've been single for the better part of a year and have had plenty of opportunities and some fun but have been waiting for someone that I actually care about... casual sex can be fun but it's stale toast compared to passionate lovin. Then you gotta worry about STD's, babies, psychos showing up at your work, trashin your car, etc. 










NOPE! 

I've been seeing someone for a few weeks and I think I'm fallin for her... we've been taking it slow which has actually been a lot of fun hah. But damn kissing this girl, because of how I feel and how I suspect she feels, is better than some of the sex I've had in the past hahaha. Of course she's one of you spicy NF dishes so that doesn't hurt lol.


----------



## garmypoo

sunsilhouette said:


> ...What a weird dichotomy...
> 
> My best friend (an ISTP) and I were talking about my libido one time and she spouted that I should just get a hook-up buddy to lose it to. I replied saying that maybe that would be a good idea, but I would need a person who respected me and I was friends with and went on and on and on before I basically described a boyfriend. She thought it was hilarious.


I enjoyed your post as it brings up the uncomfortable duality between 'sheer physical pleasure' and our mental emotional 'internal moral compass'... A lot depends on your culture and how you were brought up with regards to shaping what is "right" or "wrong" sexually... I've been working on deprogramming myself over the past months to become more "sex positive" for various reasons, but it isn't easy...

Specific to your comment about "I basically described a boyfriend", I had a amusingly similar conclusion after a conversation about casual sex. I basically described that I'd be okay with casual sex as long as I had some sort of mental appreciation and emotional connection to the person at which point it really isn't "casual" anymore I suppose, haha... 

My INTP friend's advice about casual sex was great, "just wear a condom and make sure you don't get ax murdered"... If only it were that simple for me!!!!


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## Blazy

I'll be completely honest with you guys right now. I am in a relationship with an ENFP and reading posts about ENFPs having high sex-drives and desire to go out and have spontaneous fun puts me in an awkward position where insecure feelings start to form. If you were in a relationship, have you truthfully ever had lost yourself in someone else rather than your SO and became sexually or even emotionally driven by them?


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## The King Of Dreams

duKempriZ said:


> I'll be completely honest with you guys right now. I am in a relationship with an ENFP and reading posts about ENFPs having high sex-drives and desire to go out and have spontaneous fun puts me in an awkward position where insecure feelings start to form. If you were in a relationship, have you truthfully ever had lost yourself in someone else rather than your SO and became sexually or even emotionally driven by them?


I think that Fi makes us stay loyal (if we listen to it). But I'll let other ENFPs take a crack at this question.


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## jbeck1999

duKempriZ said:


> I'll be completely honest with you guys right now. I am in a relationship with an ENFP and reading posts about ENFPs having high sex-drives and desire to go out and have spontaneous fun puts me in an awkward position where insecure feelings start to form. If you were in a relationship, have you truthfully ever had lost yourself in someone else rather than your SO and became sexually or even emotionally driven by them?


I think it is quite easy for us to be loyal AND devoted IF our partner is giving us the attention and affirmation we need. With the right kind of attention and affection, I won't be able to stay away! But you can't ever stop the attention and affirmation...and you have to mean it!!

Oh...and, no, I have not ever lost myself in someone else to the point that I've become driven by them...but I was in a relationship where I was starving for attention and, while I never cheated on my SO (I would have beat myself up with guilt too much and the thought of hurting him that way would have killed me...not worth it), I definitely engaged in more flirting and enjoyed the attention I got from men when I went out to bars with friends. So...don't starve your ENFP!!!!!


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## Blazy

jbeck1999 said:


> I think it is quite easy for us to be loyal AND devoted IF our partner is giving us the attention and affirmation we need. With the right kind of attention and affection, I won't be able to stay away! But you can't ever stop the attention and affirmation...and you have to mean it!!


In other words... clingy?


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## Animal

I love sex! I also love hugging & kissing & cuddling. I'm an enneagram 5w4 and I've been trying to figure out why I love sex & touching so much, while other 5s seem to prefer having their personal space. Now that I recently learned I'm an ENFP and read this thread I feel more at home O

No matter how hot a stranger is, I'm not turned on by the idea of actually having sex with him. Porn also turns me off. I need the mental/emotional connection. When I'm interested in someone, the idea of sex - or even kissing - is a turn-off until I know them well. But once I'm ready, I'm ready. I need friendship for months or years before the first kiss, but once that kiss feels good I'm ready to have sex multiple times a day. 

Unfortunately I'm not very good at relationships. I do my best to fix problems & address them but once it's clear it can't be fixed, I move on. I'm single most of the time. For a few years I tried having sex with exes or close friends because I really wanted it, but it didn't make me happy.. I want commitment & loyalty & love. It feels like two forces oppose each other inside of me...


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## Animal

duKempriZ said:


> I'll be completely honest with you guys right now. I am in a relationship with an ENFP and reading posts about ENFPs having high sex-drives and desire to go out and have spontaneous fun puts me in an awkward position where insecure feelings start to form. If you were in a relationship, have you truthfully ever had lost yourself in someone else rather than your SO and became sexually or even emotionally driven by them?


I've never done anything even close to cheating, nor have I ever wanted to. When I'm with a guy all of my sex fantasies revolve around him, and continue to for months after a break-up, even if I'm the one who ends it. Usually by the time I'm comfortable being with a guy, I've already been fantasizing about him for a while. I used to have sex dreams about my own boyfriend while sleeping next to him. 

But usually men that I date are highly jealous, especially at first. They say I have a flirtatious personality, or I draw other guys in. I don't do this on purpose and I have no intentions towards anyone else. Usually after a few months they realize this and then it's fine.


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## jbeck1999

duKempriZ said:


> In other words... clingy?


No!! Don't be clingy! That would be awful...


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## jbeck1999

Cherubic Rogue said:


> I love sex! I also love hugging & kissing & cuddling. I'm an enneagram 5w4 and I've been trying to figure out why I love sex & touching so much, while other 5s seem to prefer having their personal space. Now that I recently learned I'm an ENFP and read this thread I feel more at home O
> 
> No matter how hot a stranger is, I'm not turned on by the idea of actually having sex with him. Porn also turns me off. I need the mental/emotional connection. When I'm interested in someone, the idea of sex - or even kissing - is a turn-off until I know them well. But once I'm ready, I'm ready. I need friendship for months or years before the first kiss, but once that kiss feels good I'm ready to have sex multiple times a day.
> 
> Unfortunately I'm not very good at relationships. I do my best to fix problems & address them but once it's clear it can't be fixed, I move on. I'm single most of the time. For a few years I tried having sex with exes or close friends because I really wanted it, but it didn't make me happy.. I want commitment & loyalty & love. It feels like two forces oppose each other inside of me...


I also want the commitment, loyalty and love...and it does feel like I am constantly at odds with myself, because new and shiny sounds fun...but it completely turns me off, too. I have only had two sexual partners...and I am married to one of the two. But, when a fulfilling relationship...hopefully he doesn't mind frequent hugs and kisses and touching because it's gonna happen!!


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## Animal

jbeck1999 said:


> I also want the commitment, loyalty and love...and it does feel like I am constantly at odds with myself, because new and shiny sounds fun...but it completely turns me off, too. I have only had two sexual partners...and I am married to one of the two. But, when a fulfilling relationship...hopefully he doesn't mind frequent hugs and kisses and touching because it's gonna happen!!


Hehehe.. it sure is! 

When I'm with someone I really don't think about having sex with other people. I dream about having sex with my partner while he's sleeping beside me.  The problem is when I'm single I really want to have sex/cuddle/kiss/hug. But I have no desire for strangers. The only option would be to have sex with exes and that is messy. So I just fantasize about the hero of the fantasy novel I'm writing.. it's the best I can do  I can't even fantasize much about actors and musicians because I don't know them.

However I will let you know, one of the exceptions to that is Jeff Beck!!!! I LOVE HIM!!!! *Cheers!!!* My roommates used to joke that Jeff Beck was functioning as my "imaginary boyfriend" while I was single, because I listened to him constantly, read everything about him, collected his pictures, etc. When I went to his concert he passed me on the line and looked right at me and his eyes were this amazing bright, cutting blue... really intense.


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## sunsilhouette

duKempriZ said:


> I'll be completely honest with you guys right now. I am in a relationship with an ENFP and reading posts about ENFPs having high sex-drives and desire to go out and have spontaneous fun puts me in an awkward position where insecure feelings start to form. If you were in a relationship, have you truthfully ever had lost yourself in someone else rather than your SO and became sexually or even emotionally driven by them?


 From all that I've read, ENFPs are highly loyal and I can speak to that from personal experience. My interpersonal relationships are the most important thing in the world to me. 

Personality page: "ENFPs take their commitments very seriously, and are generally deeply loyal and faithful to their partners."


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## OrangeCrazy

I've had...a LOT of sexual partners. I get bored easily and I like variety. Also I love sex to the point that it's becoming a problem


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## OriginalChris

OrangeCrazy said:


> I've had...a LOT of sexual partners. I get bored easily and I like variety. Also I love sex to the point that it's becoming a problem


I think this is kind of normal for most young adults, and it all just depends on your motivations with it. You're a girl, so obviously you'll always have more social stigma with it, aka the "slut" word (which is a double standard) or whatever, but it isn't like you're alone in the whole thing. Men kind of gain that notch on their belts when they manwhore it up, but women get screwed (no pun intended haha) for being female and doing it. I guess it just has to do with the penetration vs being penetrated type of thing. I don't know. I think it's stupid nowadays.

Anyway, like I said... what's your motivation? For instance, I dated a girl once... that her vagina was broken haha... she didn't like sex. It didn't feel good for her at all, with any guy, no matter who it was. She could only get off with her clitoris. Anyways... aside from that creepy lil introduction to her, she was also the girl that had slept with more men than any other girl I've ever dated. I asked her about it before, and she eventually just broke down and told me two things: 1. Intimacy... she liked feeling close to the person, even if she didn't get anything out of it. I guess it could be the same as oral sex... one person gets nothing but still does it. 2. She said she did it because she wanted the guys to like her, and I'm pretty sure a lot of women do this too. They have sex thinking the guy is going to like them more, and that's just NOT the case. Men are the way they are for a reason. Aside from significant others who we love and actually care about... most likely a man after sex will just wanna get away from the other person after they cum. It's just the way it goes. You cum, and then you just want to get away from them at all costs. It's just a complete shift in moods, but I've experienced it a bunch myself, so I know what I'm saying. It's different when there's a real connection, but still.. it happens.

Anyway, I think you're normal, and it all just depends on what you want out of it and your values. If someone doesn't really care about the problems that go along with one-night stands, then why wouldn't they do them all the time? If I could get past that awkwardness and guilt the next morning, or that whole concept where someone always catches feelings, I'm sure I'd do it all the time too. Who doesn't love sex? I guess I look at it like... I just prefer good sex, and the best sex only happens with people you care about and are close to, and one-night stands can't qualify. Plus... you know... I don't want any STDs or for the girl to get preggo or anything either, not that I ever worry about the second one. I still will never understand how any guy gets a girl preggo by accident. It's not that hard to pull out or hold it! haha


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## OrangeCrazy

Well honestly I do it because I find it amusing. I like lots of guys as friends and therefore they end up being attracted to me and I'm really bad at rejecting peoples attentions because yeah I do like being intimate with people. Plus I like making people happy and if that makes people happy and I'm happy then the fuck do I care? Especially if I think they're attractive. 

The thing is...I feel like people judge me for it which makes me feel like I should feel bad about it. I'm like a man actually. My self control is pretty terrible and when I'm done most of the time I don't really care if they stay or not. I kind of feel like I'm the one that uses people for sex sometimes. Again, the stereotypes shift. People tend to want to make me happy in bed so it's not like I'm being used. I don't feel used usually but I guess I feel like I should have more self control.

I just don't want to have more self control because it seems stupid if it doesn't really matter. It's hard for me when someone likes me and I don't like them back like that. It makes me feel really bad because lots of guys really do have feelings that are hurt when I am willing to sleep with them and hang out with them but I just don't want to date them. I don't really want to date anyone. 

My last relationship was ruined because it was long distance and I chose freedom over loyalty. I was with him for five years. 
I guess that's my main reason for still feeling bad about it.

I'm one of the least awkward people after the fact. The problem is that I don't care enough. I don't really think sex is that big a deal and people don't really understand my viewpoint. When I love someone, I LOVE THEM. sex is a separate thing for me. It's hard to get me to fall in love with someone. I still love the person I left. I just felt like we weren't compatible because this is my viewpoint and his is very different. He didn't really understand.

I guess the reason I have sex with people is because I KNOW they already like me. I don't need to get them to like me more. It's not about that. It's about exploring all of the aspects of a person I like spending time with.

Does that make sense? Am I like...seriously weird for a girl? 


Also, I have a question for you. Why do you want to get away from the girl at all costs? Are you scared?




OriginalChris said:


> I think this is kind of normal for most young adults, and it all just depends on your motivations with it. You're a girl, so obviously you'll always have more social stigma with it, aka the "slut" word (which is a double standard) or whatever, but it isn't like you're alone in the whole thing. Men kind of gain that notch on their belts when they manwhore it up, but women get screwed (no pun intended haha) for being female and doing it. I guess it just has to do with the penetration vs being penetrated type of thing. I don't know. I think it's stupid nowadays.
> 
> Anyway, like I said... what's your motivation? For instance, I dated a girl once... that her vagina was broken haha... she didn't like sex. It didn't feel good for her at all, with any guy, no matter who it was. She could only get off with her clitoris. Anyways... aside from that creepy lil introduction to her, she was also the girl that had slept with more men than any other girl I've ever dated. I asked her about it before, and she eventually just broke down and told me two things: 1. Intimacy... she liked feeling close to the person, even if she didn't get anything out of it. I guess it could be the same as oral sex... one person gets nothing but still does it. 2. She said she did it because she wanted the guys to like her, and I'm pretty sure a lot of women do this too. They have sex thinking the guy is going to like them more, and that's just NOT the case. Men are the way they are for a reason. Aside from significant others who we love and actually care about... most likely a man after sex will just wanna get away from the other person after they cum. It's just the way it goes. You cum, and then you just want to get away from them at all costs. It's just a complete shift in moods, but I've experienced it a bunch myself, so I know what I'm saying. It's different when there's a real connection, but still.. it happens.
> 
> Anyway, I think you're normal, and it all just depends on what you want out of it and your values. If someone doesn't really care about the problems that go along with one-night stands, then why wouldn't they do them all the time? If I could get past that awkwardness and guilt the next morning, or that whole concept where someone always catches feelings, I'm sure I'd do it all the time too. Who doesn't love sex? I guess I look at it like... I just prefer good sex, and the best sex only happens with people you care about and are close to, and one-night stands can't qualify. Plus... you know... I don't want any STDs or for the girl to get preggo or anything either, not that I ever worry about the second one. I still will never understand how any guy gets a girl preggo by accident. It's not that hard to pull out or hold it! haha


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## HoLy

I am about to have my first time with my girlfriend next Saturday
-excited-
She is getting the birth control today ^_^

I could have seen myself in one night stands, this being my first year of college, but I think I would have felt bad about that decision later, thankfully I found someone amazing.


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## cue5c

HoLy said:


> I am about to have my first time with my girlfriend next Saturday
> -excited-
> She is getting the birth control today ^_^
> 
> I could have seen myself in one night stands, this being my first year of college, but I think I would have felt bad about that decision later, thankfully I found someone amazing.


It's good you waited. Things change after your first time, as odd as that may sound to you right now.


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## SublimeSerendipity

HoLy said:


> I am about to have my first time with my girlfriend next Saturday
> -excited-
> She is getting the birth control today ^_^
> 
> I could have seen myself in one night stands, this being my first year of college, but I think I would have felt bad about that decision later, thankfully I found someone amazing.


Today is Friday, which means if she takes the first pill tonight it WILL NOT BE EFFECTIVE FOR TOMORROW!!!

Birth control takes a week (7 entire days) to be effective. 

So please please please make sure you use protection!! Or wait another week.....


EDIT: I'm an idiot....if only I could read :frustrating: You did say next Saturday. Good for you!!


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## NaggerJew

I've had sex with one girl. 
In bed, I like to think that I do fucking awesome. 
I could go for hours if I wanted, in fact I kinda have.

However, there was this one time that me and this girl broke up for about a month, and this other girl, let's call her Lisa, had just moved to town.
She had a boyfriend back home who she's been dating for about 6 moths or so.
So, we're in my room, smoking a bowl, chillin, just whatever.

Next thing I know she's on top of me attacking my face with her face.

Now, before hand she told me that she get's all nuts like that when she's high, but I told her I wouldn't let her.
And that's what I did.

I said, "No, you're doing that thing that I said I wouldn't let you do."
She gave me a blank stare for a few moments. Again, my face was under her attack.
So, for a second time, I said "No. You have a boyfriend, this isn't right."
Again with the blank stare. But this time, she backs up, and we're cool for a second, and I think she's given up, but no.
SHE GOES FOR MY WIENER AND IM ALL LIKE, "NOOOOO. DDDD:<"

Don't get me wrong though, I wanted it. 
She was hot. Had an ass. and her tits were halfway out at this point.
She had a body to be reckoned with for sure. 
I just couldn't bring myself to do it. 
That's just asking for an ass kicking from karma.

I think back and part of me wishes that I had done it, while the other is thankful that I didn't.


I back with the first girl now, and things are good.
But I always wonder what it's like to be with another girl. Just curious.
Plus, I feel like I'm really good at sex, and want to share that. Lol
It's just not worth ruining this good relationship I have going.

First post evar, woooo.


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## NaggerJew

cue5c said:


> It's good you waited. Things change after your first time, as odd as that may sound to you right now.


Honestly, I didn't feel any different after I lost my virginity.


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## OriginalChris

NaggerJew said:


> Honestly, I didn't feel any different after I lost my virginity.


I'd say "Hi, welcome to PerC," but I have a feeling you won't be here very long with a name like that. All we are is dust in the winnnnndddd


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## Animal

OrangeCrazy said:


> Also, I have a question for you. Why do you want to get away from the girl at all costs? Are you scared?


I'm a woman, but I have high testosterone  and lots of sexual energy. I think I can answer this question, though.

I thought what @_OriginalChris_ posted above ^ was right on the money in so many ways. He sees through the double standard socially and calls b.s. on it (I agree), yet sees *biology* for what it is.

Men and women both can really like sex, for all sorts of reason. I've never paid attention to social stigmas, and always done exactly what I saw fit for myself. However, we must remember biological instinct. This has *nothing* to do with social stigma, mind games, trying to be cool, or even liking sex. Fact is, men, biologically, are programmed to 'spread their seed' by being with as many women as possible, thus becoming the alpha male, and creating the largest amount of offspring. However, being an alpha woman, BIOLOGICALLY, is a bit different. In order to produce viable offspring, a woman needs to be taken care of and provided for through her pregnancy and provided for while the baby is young so that she may recooperate from the pregnancy and have good, healthy milk for the baby. So a woman's instinct to reproduce will lead her to want to hold on to the man she's sleeping with. STRICTLY BIOLOGICALLY SPEAKING, an alpha woman has the best, richest/strongest man caring for her at least during conception stages.

So why do you think a man wants to leave after sex?  Once he's impregnated one woman, his biological instinct is momentarily fulfilled and it's time to go retain his alpha position among other males and then continue the cycle of spreading his seed. However, during sex, chemicals are released within the female body which cause us to feel *love and attachment and intimacy* for the man.

It took me a long time to accept this and see what it is. I'm a hard working woman, usually 'alpha' like in my social circles, and for part of my life I was doing the rockstar thing - I'm a bit of a wild one myself, and completely unbound by social standards. To me, for a long time, the idea that men and women are different was abhorrent. I wanted to be able to do anything that men could do! I've always been able to compete with men intellectually, and with strategy, and kick their ass musically, and match larger people physically. It took me some time to realize that men and women are EQUAL, but DIFFERENT. But once I realized this, consciously, it explained a lot of my behavior and my own instincts.

I have always followed instincts, but despite my less than angelic/square behavior, I've never been called a slut. Other women have been called "sluts" in my area whose "number" may be lower than mine, but I think the difference is that their intentions are more social (like they want attention or want guys to like them) whereas I am simply very in touch with my instincts and don't care what other people think or say. If they were honest with their instincts, they could have had sex with who they really wanted and probably escaped the slut label, at least in my area, which is not particularly stuck-up. 

Much like @_OriginalChris_ I'm much more interested in REAL intimacy. I'm no angel, and I've been in situations with good friends, where we both wanted it but thought that an actual committed LTR would not work. But I can't even feel turned on by the idea of being with a stranger. WHY?!! I mean.. sex is so much better when there's trust..... without that, it just turns into a biology game that no woman can win.


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## NiccoFuzz

Sex with an enfp girl? One of the best things ever happened in my life, we used to laugh a lot during sex, don't know why, just crazy! She was simply fantastic.


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## edicon

HollywoodK8 said:


> Hahahaha, and here I was, sitting all alone thinking I was the only woman on earth who was both a horny beast *and* chaste.  You people rock my world.
> 
> As for me-- I'm 22 and a virgin and plan on staying that way until I'm married. I have pretty much every reason in the book; religious, moral, trust issues, etc. I would never, ever, everrrr have a one night stand (though sometimes, in moments of weakness, I think about calling up those that have offered/begged to bed me) but I don't mind if other people do, as long as they're safe about it and they're SURE it's what they want.
> 
> I've seen one night stands eff with people's heads. I've also seen sex mess with people's heads, when they're not ready. So to me, it's best left inside marriage. And to whoever asked the question of "what if you wait and don't know if you're sexually compatible?" Ummmmm... have you never been touched by someone and had tingles all over your body? Have you never kissed someone and wanted everything else?
> 
> Plus I'm pretty sure ENFPs are sexually compatible with anyone. ::evil grin::


I can completely relate with you on this one! I'm relieved to see that other ENFPs are horny beasts yet chaste ;-) 
I was very open and often flaunted my sexual side yet never felt the need to have sex, I had this captivating idea that there was "the one" out there for me somewhere! (little did I know she was half way around the globe).
With out too many details I have a fairy tale love story that surpassed even my most romantic day dreams. We waited until our wedding night ( day would be more like it  It was all so worth the wait, though it was challenging. And trust me I've no regrets about my decision.


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## Aliceinwonders

Wh1zkey said:


> I'll be completely honest with you guys right now. I am in a relationship with an ENFP and reading posts about ENFPs having high sex-drives and desire to go out and have spontaneous fun puts me in an awkward position where insecure feelings start to form. If you were in a relationship, have you truthfully ever had lost yourself in someone else rather than your SO and became sexually or even emotionally driven by them?


It's in our nature to fantasize about novelty, however in my personal experience I understand this is a part of me and notattraction to the new person so I have never cheated. But I would have to admit that meeting new people excites me, and new situations so much that when I was younger I would get myself into a bad situation because I just wanted to keep pushing my limits. I think that if you are with a mature enfp who understands this tendency and is aware of their behavior then they should be most likely loyal. On the other hand if they still consider new experiences important, and will keep seeking new personal connections, and rationalize their behavior then yes I would be worried too.


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## Flaming Bassoon

Thanks to the title of this thread this song is stuck in my head.

Well, I'm a virgin but I did sext a dude once because we both shared a lot of kinks. And I think about sex A LOT, mostly as a great way to connect with someone.


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## edicon

I think of sex as a way to connect with someone, in a way it's like telling them "I trust you". So even though I have a very high sex drive I couldn't see myself cheating. But I also except the fact that I'm human and anyone can change or have a weak moment.


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## sierra_li

Well, i don't know ,its because me as enfp or its just something that attrackted me .. 

I love to try new things,new experiment, with many kind of relathionship.. i always wonder,how it feel,to be in relation with that type of guy or that kind of guy. Whenever i get the chance,i take it. It was fun,for every the first month of relationship,but in the end, its me who hurt the most,if the relathion not running like i expect it tobe. Even mostly the relation end up bad,i don't know why i still have desire to try again. Its just make me feel, i am a failure,failed to be a good girl. I don't know how to stop and turn off that desire.


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## ThomThom1

I've always had an appetite for sex. I couldn't wait to get rid of my viginity, but I was super picky. To any and all observers, I kept my thoughts to myself. I appeared as virginal as Mary. However, at night, I would fantasize like crazy. Not just one suitor either. Many. In my dreams, I was the biggest slut there is. Going on dates, however, I would turn my head when the boy leaned in for a kiss so he would get my cheek. I wanted to unleash all my pent up sexiness on someone but he had to meet my ideals. 

1. He had to be quiet about our experience. I didn't want him blurting it all over town. I had my reputation to uphold and I didn't want to let my parents down. 

2. He had to be older and more experienced. No virgin for me. I wanted to do it all, not work thru the details until we figured it out. 

3. I wanted to be wined and dined and treated like a lady. He better treat me with the utmost respect. If I was giving him my jewel, he better view it as a diamond. 

4. He had to have a little bit of a kinky mind. I wanted variety and lots of foreplay. 

5. He had to profess and show me love. Without this, there would be none of that. 

Once my criteria had been met and I could trust the guy, I unleashed all my passion. I may have masturbated every night up to that point but once I had the right guy, it was all for him. I held nothing back. I still don't. 


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## petite libellule

Flaming Bassoon said:


> .


My thought exactly. I applaud thee for posting it. :tongue:


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## Aya the Abysswalker

I never had sex so I have no idea : D


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## narfae

Hot Pocket said:


> In a matter of number of partners and how much you enjoy it.
> 
> like do you want it to be in a relationship or are you good with one night stands?
> 
> 
> I have only had sex with one person, I don't really know how I feel about it I like the emotional conection so a one night stand would likely make me feel guilty


I've had sex with 2 people, a girlfriend and a boyfriend (now husband). She had the best boobs... *sighs wistfully* all round and full and pale, with pretty pink nipples. Luckily my husband has a 6 pack, shoulder muscles, and a slim, svelte build that is equally sexy. Anyway, *ahem* lewd thoughts aside.... Yes, I do like sex. It is fun and pleasureful! Obviously. I could do a one-night stand, but I wouldn't want to, no. People gross me out unless I am accustomed to their scent and feel a bond to them/trust them (I have been told I may be demisexual?). Still, if they were attractive enough....


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