# INFJ with ENFP shadow?



## FiddleheadFern (Aug 20, 2012)

I'm fairly certain after years of reading/dabbling that I'm INFJ (which I realize is suspect because of the unrealistically high number of people, especially females, claiming to be INFJ, for whatever reason.) Ni resounds with me, all INFJ quirks are where I live and the way I process is decidedly Ni + Fe (with the occasionally Ti asserting itself and messing with my head, and Se making me act with childlike impulsiveness when it comes to food, sensory seeking, etc) 

However, when I'm upset, especially with someone really close to me, I INFJ rage, and then, if batted away or not taken seriously (this is often trigged by my ISTP, who struggles to understand different points of view quickly), I flip over into this feelings-consumed, accusation hurling, broken-Ne driven rampage. I feel like a hood ornament on the dashboard of my own crazy feelings racecar. It nauseates me and rattles me to the core, but once I'm there, unless I just walk away, it's really difficult to get a grip. I deeply despise the way this undermines my usually well thought out, collected, Fe-driven demeanor. In fact, I can almost feel my Ni + Fe standing aghast on the sidelines, clucking tongues and shaking heads. :tongue::tongue:

Should reconsider type? Or is this some kind of negative, nutty shadow experience? Thoughts from other INFJs?


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## Jabberbroccoli (Mar 19, 2011)

I mean, that would make sense if you were a Si Dom with an inferior Ne eruption.


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## FiddleheadFern (Aug 20, 2012)

My Si is pretty crappy to nonexistent. It's kind of humiliating sometimes. 

Could it be an enraged Fe? "Come back here, dammit, and be REASONABLE?" If so, that's really horrific, isn't it? Wielding Fe like a sword? {shudder}

My order of shadow usually goes something like: 

Se-fest to self-console: too much spending, too much food, driving like an idiot, flipping people off, popping my mouth off (which is the opposite of what I normally do, and generally I'm wracked with guilt over the fallout when it's time to pay the piper...but then, my "acting out" is usually not nearly as big as it seems to me) 

and then, if I'm stressed beyond that, I start swimming in my own feelings and become hyperbolic and feeeeeeelings-driven and bizarre and generally embarrassing to myself (but usually only around the people I already trust). I don't lose self-empathy, and I generally understand exactly how I arrived at that point, what needs to be done to fix it, why the other person is behaving the way they are....but once I've reached full-fledged rage and vent mode, there's not much to be done about it. I feel empathy for the other person, I feel their hurt feelings, and I feel annoyed with my own relentless empathy, because I feel like I owe it to myself to be heard. (I'm aware that this isn't terribly healthy, and have put a good amount of successful work into righting it) I work hard not to allow myself to *get* to that point, and it generally only happens twice a year or so.


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