# Differentiating ESTP vs ESFP (I honestly cannot tell!)



## xcchristine

Recently ended a relationship with ESXP and wanted to look into personalities to see the incompatible areas b/t INFP (me) and his personality, but after looking into cognitive functions I still can't distinguish between Fi/Te and Ti/Fe, so I'll just describe and hopefully someone can help:

1. Very friendly, initiates conversation quite easily, at first about topics (abortion, political stances, Bruce Jenner) but also personal questions to get to know other people (about family, preferences, opinions)
2. Very detail oriented, easily sees when something subtle is changed (make-up, new shirt, how you feel) 
3. Appreciates natural beauty in others, he is pretty attractive and stylish (problem because I don't particularly care for popular fashions and if I failed to compliment would see me as unobservant or at times purposefully rude rude:dry
4. Catchphrases, "If you care you show it" "Trust is earned not given" "You need to give me an example"
5. If felt neglected would try to get affection in roundabout ways (always grabbing my hand, by slightly ignoring me for a day so that I would initiate and reach out)
6. I think non-confrontational at first leading to being passive aggressive and manipulative (but I don't pick up on either of those traits), but would get even more upset b/c of my oblivion, leading to emotional outbursts and really dramatic conversations all at once (Fi or underdeveloped/tertiary Fe?) very sensitive and easily hurt by any perceived negligence; would also bring up topics for "discussion" but really directed at me
7. Has to be liked by everyone, however, if disliked by someone he mutually dislikes he is okay about cutting off relationship that isn't beneficial to himself; I think it bugs him, but is okay if he feels his perspective is true (has been called self-righteous unfortunately)
8. Youngest child and used to siblings ignoring him which made him really mad if I stopped saying something mid-thought when I didn't know how to express an idea, or if he didn't hear something and I said nevermind
9. One time I was trying to learn something new and got discouraged, he tried to help so badly, saying I was a natural and complimenting, telling me to just do it and practice makes perfect, but when I still decided to call it a day got frustrated that I didn't make sense making me less likely to try
10. Very into self-improvement and growth and would say "How can you think something is good just because there isn't conflict?"
11. He is a Christian (as well as I) and this would come out through both T (enjoyed discussing different biblical ideas, debating ideas such as predestination, playing devils advocate, saw truth as absolute, when he would get hurt would back up his side with bible verses so I could not say his perspective is not the only one) and F (open to criticism in the desire to grow into a more mature Christian, cares about the heart of everything and motives, not just following rules)
12. Very thoughtful and was always complimentary (to an excess for me who gets uncomfortable), if I was stressed would get me lunch, ask about my day; made a point to DO things to show he cares (Fi through Si? or Fe?) But if I didn't reciprocate equally as much he would try to force my hand, or tell me how hurt he is _or_ even worse, seek the thoughtfulness out in others and directly compare me to them
13. Admits to control issues, he would always have a problem with how I acted because he did not understand it (sarcasm wasn't seen as humour but rude). He would periodically apologize, but also said he wouldn't forget and would be waiting to see me fill his expectations
14. Insecure and always thought I was flirting with other guys, or that guys would take advantage of me for being idealistic and naive (I can at times). Says he has always been confident wheras I make him insecure, but I think it's simply because his family is really loving and makes him feel good, he needs constant affirmation unfortunately
15. Can be very opinionated (Ti? based on other sources such as the bible or his family, Fi? makes opinions/decisions based on values)
16. Can be judgmental of others based on immaturity (Fi and biblical values backed by Se details and logic? or Ti where he has his own theories and logic defended by bible when sees fit?)
17. Gets mad if other people don't listen to his advice (will "drop" friends if they don't listen again and again because sees listening and doing as caring; inferior Ni possibly and trying to push his gut instincts on others? or what he sees as logical/Ti not being followed), got mad when I said he wasn't funny too harshly.. my fault there..
18. Very intelligent, Very mechanically inclined, jack of many trades, many projects started but not carried through when he moves to the next, artistic, not huge on music, but does know songs on radio, good at dancing, energetic, always smiling, procrastinates and still gets good grades, athletic, etc. So many random talents.
19. Weirdly Ne? sometimes: wanted to be engineer, then went into business but now questions that career instead of science or something that uses his intelligence. Went to college last minute because didn't whether to go to trade school or military or something else
20. I think kept trying to make relationship work because he loves a challenge, also he didn't understand why it didn't work and needs to understand things

I could go on but feel bad about the such a long first post!! I hope someone takes interest in answering :laughing:


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## Junyor

He sounds like an ESFP to me. I'm an ESTP and one of my best friends is a ESFP, we are very similar but the big difference between us is emotion. I do not show my emotions often and rarely make decisions based on emotions while my friend is the opposite.

1. Both ESFP and ESTP initiate convos easily 
2. Again this is example of both types. Both types will notice changes.
3. Both types appreciate natural beauty. Both types will take time to make themselves look good, however ESTP's will not pay much attention to whether you notice or not.
4. "if you care you show it" - ESFP. ESTP's will know with little action if you care, ESFP's need you to show it. "Trust is earned not given" - Both. Both types are very trusting already. ESFP's will be hurt a lot more if you betray them. "You need to give me an example" - ESTP. ESTP's are are more rational than emotional and may not know exactly what you want unless you explain it to them.
5. ESFP's are far more likely to feel neglected. ESTP's are more likely to neglect. 
6. This is far more ESFP. Passive aggressiveness, emotional outbursts, and drama. ESTP's aren't afraid of confrontation and will tell you straight up if they feel a certain way because emotion is not a big thing to them.
7. Both types want to be like by everyone, but ESFP's will care if someone dislikes them.ESTP's do not care much and may not even know when someone dislikes them.
8. the youngest child is more likely to develop an ESFP personality. They are usually "babied" because they are the youngest and lack responsibility because their older siblings mostly take it on. they also love being the center of attention. 
9. This could be either type but is more ESTP. ESTP's don't like quitters, are competitive, and can even be stubborn. They want everyone to try something new. 
10.Both types try to improve themselves but ESTP's will never let you know, They want people to perceive them as great. 
11. this is more religion based
12. Both types will show you how much they care, however ESTP's will not care for much in return just as long as you are appreciative. An ESFP will be a little hurt is his actions are not reciprocated. 
13. Both types lack a sense of control acting on impulse. ESTP's don't get offended easily at all so sarcasm wouldn't be a problem. Both types are likely to forgive but the emotional trait of ESFP's may cause them to hold onto things while the rational trait of ESTP's will cause them to see grudges as pointless.
14 ESFP are a lot more insecure due to the Feeling trait. They like to be reminded that they are great. ESTP's are less likely to be insecure but if they are they won't let you know. Both ESFP's and ESTP's understand flirting very well, but ESTP's are better at separating the emotion part of it to experience the joy of it. This also allows ESTP's to deal with their partners flirting with other people. 
15. This could be a trait of both. ETSP's are more likely to be opinionated on the bases of how people live their lives and how one should approach situations. ESFP's are more likely to be opinionated on the bases of how how people should act and treat others. 
16. This could also be either type
17. ESTP's and ESFP's are good at giving advice because they are not afraid what needs to be said. ESTP's advice is more logical while ESFP's is more emotional. ESFP's may not like if people didn't follow their advice because they see it as a lack of respect and may feel like their friend doesn't trust them. ESTP's may not like if people didn't follow their advice because they would feel like there time was wasted. 
18. Again this could be both types because they are so similar. Both procrastinate, are hands on, and are athletic, ESTP's tend to be more competitive. 
19. Again this is a trait of both types.
20. ESTP's do like a challenge, however only if the challenge is something interesting and exciting. ESTP's get bored easily and are more likely to move on to stimulate them. ESFP's also get bored easily but are more likely to try make things work if they have an emotional connection otherwise they will move on as well. 

He also sounds like he could be an ENFP or an ENFJ as he seems to be more on the intuitive side than the sensing side. The sensing trait is more care free and stimulating while the Intuitive side involves being more instinctive and believing something to be true based on what that person feels or knows.


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## ENIGMA2019

Junyor said:


> He sounds like an ESFP to me. I'm an ESTP and one of my best friends is a ESFP, we are very similar but the big difference between us is emotion. I do not show my emotions often and rarely make decisions based on emotions while my friend is the opposite.
> 
> 1. Both ESFP and ESTP initiate convos easily
> 2. Again this is example of both types. Both types will notice changes.
> 3. Both types appreciate natural beauty. Both types will take time to make themselves look good, however ESTP's will not pay much attention to whether you notice or not.
> 4. "if you care you show it" - ESFP. ESTP's will know with little action if you care, ESFP's need you to show it. "Trust is earned not given" - Both. Both types are very trusting already. ESFP's will be hurt a lot more if you betray them. "You need to give me an example" - ESTP. ESTP's are are more rational than emotional and may not know exactly what you want unless you explain it to them.
> 5. ESFP's are far more likely to feel neglected. ESTP's are more likely to neglect.
> 6. This is far more ESFP. Passive aggressiveness, emotional outbursts, and drama. ESTP's aren't afraid of confrontation and will tell you straight up if they feel a certain way because emotion is not a big thing to them.
> 7. Both types want to be like by everyone, but ESFP's will care if someone dislikes them.ESTP's do not care much and may not even know when someone dislikes them.
> 8. the youngest child is more likely to develop an ESFP personality. They are usually "babied" because they are the youngest and lack responsibility because their older siblings mostly take it on. they also love being the center of attention.
> 9. This could be either type but is more ESTP. ESTP's don't like quitters, are competitive, and can even be stubborn. They want everyone to try something new.
> 10.Both types try to improve themselves but ESTP's will never let you know, They want people to perceive them as great.
> 11. this is more religion based
> 12. Both types will show you how much they care, however ESTP's will not care for much in return just as long as you are appreciative. An ESFP will be a little hurt is his actions are not reciprocated.
> 13. Both types lack a sense of control acting on impulse. ESTP's don't get offended easily at all so sarcasm wouldn't be a problem. Both types are likely to forgive but the emotional trait of ESFP's may cause them to hold onto things while the rational trait of ESTP's will cause them to see grudges as pointless.
> 14 ESFP are a lot more insecure due to the Feeling trait. They like to be reminded that they are great. ESTP's are less likely to be insecure but if they are they won't let you know. Both ESFP's and ESTP's understand flirting very well, but ESTP's are better at separating the emotion part of it to experience the joy of it. This also allows ESTP's to deal with their partners flirting with other people.
> 15. This could be a trait of both. ETSP's are more likely to be opinionated on the bases of how people live their lives and how one should approach situations. ESFP's are more likely to be opinionated on the bases of how how people should act and treat others.
> 16. This could also be either type
> 17. ESTP's and ESFP's are good at giving advice because they are not afraid what needs to be said. ESTP's advice is more logical while ESFP's is more emotional. ESFP's may not like if people didn't follow their advice because they see it as a lack of respect and may feel like their friend doesn't trust them. ESTP's may not like if people didn't follow their advice because they would feel like there time was wasted.
> 18. Again this could be both types because they are so similar. Both procrastinate, are hands on, and are athletic, ESTP's tend to be more competitive.
> 19. Again this is a trait of both types.
> 20. ESTP's do like a challenge, however only if the challenge is something interesting and exciting. ESTP's get bored easily and are more likely to move on to stimulate them. ESFP's also get bored easily but are more likely to try make things work if they have an emotional connection otherwise they will move on as well.
> 
> He also sounds like he could be an ENFP or an ENFJ as he seems to be more on the intuitive side than the sensing side. The sensing trait is more care free and stimulating while the Intuitive side involves being more instinctive and believing something to be true based on what that person feels or knows.


Wow, first post right out of the gate? Welcome!


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## Simpson17866

My favorite rule of thumb:

ESTP think in terms of the things that they do with people
ESFP think in terms of the people that they do things with


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## The Dude

If we're going by dichotomies ESTPs are more logical and ESFPs are more values based. 

If we're going by cognitive functions, look at the tertiary judging function of each. For ESTPs it's Fe, so they'll enjoy connecting more with people and making them comfortable once Fe matures. Before that they have a tendency to troll like ENTPs. For ESFPs it's Te, so they'll become more assertive in obtaining the resources needed to achieve a goal once Te matures. Before that they have a tendency to be a bit free spirited like ENFPs.

ESFP functional analysis: http://personalitycafe.com/esfp-articles/386618-esfp-jungian-cognitive-function-analysis.html 

ESTP functional analysis: http://www.typologycentral.com/foru...gnitive-function-analysis-simulatedworld.html


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## Toroidal

http://personalitycafe.com/cognitiv...life-example-how-they-differ.html#post3740099

http://personalitycafe.com/articles/63173-fi-vs-fe-101-a.html#post1532182

Do you watch politics? Ted Cruz is an ESTP while Donald Trump is an ESFP. Look at the differences in how they act or their ideology.


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## Leahomme

I think he sounds like an ESFP. Although I have very few ESTPs in my life, I have many more ESFPs and they are easy for me to spot. They are quite different in my opinion. The only thing I'm not familiar with is **4. Catchphrases, "If you care you show it" "Trust is earned not given" "You need to give me an example"** I've never heard an ESFP say any of those things before. 

In my opinion, an ESFP dresses much better and looks much more athletic than an ESTP. Although an ESTP doesn't dress poorly, they tend to not follow "fashion" so to me, their clothing styles are more comfortable and perhaps even outdated. 

ESFP's are very sensitive and do pay attention to all of your slightest changes in mood. They are less likely than ESTP to be confrontational but more likely passive aggressive. 

When I am trying to figure out if someone is a Feeler or Thinker, I just imagine a scenario in my head... if I'm expressing that I'm going to be inconvenienced based on a decision that he makes, a Feeler usually will empathize and offer compromise at the least. A Thinker tends to say things like "it'll be okay" or offer a solution that is not substantial. (Ie. If you are starving and ready for dinner, he'll say "here, eat a cookie") It tends to come off a bit abrasive to me as an INFJ, although I don't believe all Thinkers are like this, but often times when I'm trying to figure out people who are borderline T/F usually that is the dead giveaway. 

One of my Thinker friends is perfectly okay with expecting me to drive to her house in inclement weather, or at a time when I'll probably end up being stuck in rush-hour traffic. She simply says "I don't think it'll be that bad." My Feeler friends would all say "ohh, then let's pick a better time then". So it's kind of like not taking my concerns seriously.


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## xcchristine

This was all very helpful, thank you! What I'm taking from this is that I could plausibly fit his ESFP personality into ESTP, except the depth of his emotions surpasses ESTP who are more rational and less likely to take things personally, correct? So the depth of his frustrations, and how easily he was offended probably reveals the difference best. Thanks again.


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