# Thinkers; do feelers ever get on your nerves?



## Morfy (Dec 3, 2013)

O well, thinkers sometimes get on my nerves as well.


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## William I am (May 20, 2011)

Yes. Next question?

But seriously, I haven't come across that "you're not as deep as me" garbage ... in the last couple years. Probably because I avoid people like that now hahaaha. I was going to say because people have matured and stopped doing it, but that's not true.

I like feelers, but the logical inconsistency a lot of them present and the prioritization of how something makes them feel instead of the actual impact it has on the world at large makes my brain cry.


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## firedell (Aug 5, 2009)

I "feel"  you aren't really understanding what the F function is. The Fi and Fe functions are about ethics, not about feelings in the way we think about feelings in the common sense.

Maybe I am more connected with myself emotionally, than say a dominant thinker may be, because I rely on these "feelings" to make decisions but that doesn't mean I am emotional and without logical thought. I can separate the two.


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## firedell (Aug 5, 2009)

KraChZiMan said:


> I googled about this, and indeed, it is correct. I don't know, I swear I read a source somewhere that stated how introverted functions are irrational and extroverted functions are rational, but it was perhaps more about how they process information, not about division.


Read Jung's Psychological Types, he discusses this. I believe.


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## Kindlings (Dec 7, 2013)

Pendit76 said:


> I just hate when feelers call me "cold" or "robotic" when I use logic. It's like "fucking think" and stop using generalizations.


Was it you that mentioned recursive logic on my previous post.... 

Or maybe it is irony... yeah that one!


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## RCKT82 (Nov 25, 2013)

miss. potato said:


> I have a good friendship with a few feelers. But sometimes, certain ones drive me up a wall. Sometimes they just berate me with statements such as; You just don't feel as deeply as I feel. You don't understand how this feels. I'm just too emotionally deep for you and the rest of the world.
> 
> At this point I just want to say; if feelings were a liquid I'm sure you would have drowned years ago, because it was too darn deep...
> 
> ...





firedell said:


> I "feel"  you aren't really understanding what the F function is. The Fi and Fe functions are about ethics, not about feelings in the way we think about feelings in the common sense.
> 
> Maybe I am more connected with myself emotionally, than say a dominant thinker may be, because I rely on these "feelings" to make decisions but that doesn't mean I am emotional and without logical thought. I can separate the two.


With the correction made by @firedell (T&F functions are just our niche for basing decisions) Yes it can be trying at times, I have had a couple feelers (possibly unitentionally) tell me that I'm too cold and rigid. Which really isn't too much of an issue for me most times, unless I value the person and our relationship. The advantage of being a thinker is that their observation will not persuade my choices or my behavior because it lacks any merit from our point of view. And like you stated, it's easy just to shoot back a snarky comment telling them they lack the capacity to reason logically, "they can't think as deeply".

sorry if this is a little messy, I'm trying to respond to the OP and use the correct definition of (F vs T).... How's that for you feelers???? I apologized because I "felt" it was necessary to consider the readers even though logic didn't require it


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## Surreal Snake (Nov 17, 2009)

“Reason flows from the blending of rational thought and feeling. If the two functions are torn apart, thinking deteriorates into schizoid intellectual activity and feeling deteriorates into neurotic life-damaging passions.” Erich Fromm


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## malphigus (Jan 15, 2014)

No... yes... maybe??

I have a feeler friend and she's sensitive, and she will cry about stuff that I really think isn't that worth crying over. Granted, I'm still in high school, so maybe it's because hormones or something? And when she does cry I just either a)stood there awkwardly, not doing anything b) offer fake sympathy and be there because I feel obliged and yes, usually I do the latter because come on. The labels I get are bad enough.

And I always get bad stares when I debate with anyone and then win with often no emotion at all while the other person looked like s/he wanted to cry or just baffled like a fish. I sputter answers here and there when people randomly ask questions, and yes, I'm a know-it-all, but at least I tried to provide real answers here. Come on, peeps, God doesn't answer everything.

I just... don't get it, you know? I tried, so hard, but I can't understand  Not saying that I don't have any emotions. I cry over fanfics (yes, I do) and sad movies and such. Just get me to _understand_ and I'll get you more than shallow sympathy. roud:


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## TwistedMuses (May 20, 2013)

I am definitely not a strong Te user, but... Some of NFs, INFJ and INFPs get on my nerves. I encountered their lack of wish to understand logic a few times. That was frustrating. I basically gave facts and articles about things which were met by a 'I don't need thid', 'I do not believe in these things', 'I don't wanna read this' and then 'how do I know I am 'THIS' personality type'...
How must I contain myself from giving a bitchslap?:laughing:


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## Zen_alpha (Jan 17, 2014)

Used to get in my nerve, but not anymore. I can somehow tolerate them to certain point.(took about 5+ years)
However, sometime they show me different point of view, like the ISFP/ENFP I know.
Oh and by certain point, I mean about being "fair".

This might sound cold, but, I don't care about there feelings, If it unjust/unfair action to someone.
Then I might side with someone who I don't like just to be fair/just. Maybe the reason is 
That I don't agree with there point of view.

The IxFJ that I know usually think that my comments is filled with hate, when I criticize her work.
However, because I criticize it, that means I care and I want her to improve her skills.

The ENFJ used to think the same thing, but now he understood my way of treating others.

Usually, people tell me that I'm unemotional or person without feelings. I'm not sure, If I'm getting hurt from that or not. But, I agree feelers tend to say awful things when they lose it. 

Maybe the reason is that they are more aware of their feelings, and, this might be related to "Fe" more than "Fi". I'm not sure, but, I do remember that I read somewhere , which conclude that Fi and Fe is about Personal value/rights and social value/rights

Well, either way, that's just my point of view, I might be wrong.


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## teddy564339 (Jun 23, 2010)

miss. potato said:


> I have a good friendship with a few feelers. But sometimes, certain ones drive me up a wall. Sometimes they just berate me with statements such as; You just don't feel as deeply as I feel. You don't understand how this feels. I'm just too emotionally deep for you and the rest of the world.
> 
> At this point I just want to say; if feelings were a liquid I'm sure you would have drowned years ago, because it was too darn deep...
> 
> ...



It's my opinion that all types have areas in which they're more naturally suited (based on their cognitive functions), and that for those who don't understand (or care) how other types are different than they are, they can have a tendency to view themselves as being superior.

A long time ago I made a thread that expressed this:

http://personalitycafe.com/myers-br...-others-up-high-standards-their-own-area.html


I don't even think this is something unique to thinkers and feelers. An SJ, for example, might think that they're very hard working and that a non-SJ is lazy because they don't have the same kind of patience to work through a lot of the details that the SJ is naturally good at dealing with.



I always hope that people learning about the MBTI use it as a tool to understand others as well as themselves. Unfortunately, I believe some people use it in the opposite direction....they see the types and think "Oh, this is explains why I'm right about things and everyone else is wrong all of the time." 

I say this because I've seen people on PerC do both of the things you describe in the OP....feelers saying they're so deeper emotionally than thinkers and thinkers saying they're such deeper logically than feelers.



So ultimately, I believe that if someone uses type to understand themselves deeply (concerning both their strengths and weaknesses) and then also uses it to understand how different others are than themselves, they can find themselves improving their relationships with others. They can learn to use their strengths more effectively, learn how to let others use their own strengths well, and then use others strengths to improve upon their own areas of weakness.


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## CasusBelli (Feb 25, 2015)

To me, a 'thinking' or 'feeling' preference is not the core issue when you're talking interactions. Bare with me on this: The attraction/rejection people feel towards each other is commonly found in the functions themselves (taken apart from their XXXX context) and in the instinctual stacking; 

I have found, that in terms of communication Fe/Ti and Fi/Te users are actually transmitting data in two different universes (!!!) so that people who share similar functions- on top of all judging functions as feeling/thinking will communicate much better with each other than with "aliens" of the other breed. As for the instinctual stacking, that's where the real deep-seated attraction originates; people of different stackings will on the most part grow bored, shocked and frustrated with each other, all too soon.

Keeping in mind that a stressed feeler will act like a thinker and vise versa, the MBTI four-letter-word is but an orientation code, and has less to do with interaction between people. It has more to do with personal conduct style, decision making and general orientation in life, considering also the enneagram type of that individual.


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## Jordgubb (Oct 5, 2013)

When they're not rational, yes.


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## bruh (Oct 27, 2015)

nice circlejerk


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## Ermenegildo (Feb 25, 2014)

*Two nervous breakdowns of female FPs:*

ESFP 1: Cries, accompanied by “Everything is lost! Everything! Everything is lost now! Nothing works!” 

ENTP: “Try this:” 








ESFP 1: Stops crying.

ENTP: You can undo the last 100 steps. Why don't you know that, after decades of using word processors? 

ESFP 1: “I don't have the time to learn that.”

[hr][/hr]
ESFP 2: Cries, accompanied by “Now you have ruined everything! 

ENTP: “No, I have just taken away some unnecessary cables.”










ESFP 2: “You have ruined everything! And you know how important the internet connection is for me, I desperately need it for my work now! And you have ruined everything! Because you had to play with the cables without understanding what you are doing!”

ENTP: “I have just taken away some unnecessary cables which have nothing to do with the internet connection.”

ESFP 2: “You have ruined everything! You don't care how much suffering you inflict on me! Now the internet connection is gone! And I can't do my work! And I need the money! And it's your fault! You have ruined everything!”

ENTP (still polite, but with a bad grace “Internet connections are not responsive to emotions.”

The telephone company rings: “Sorry for the interruption!”

[hr][/hr]
The cases where computers are involved are the easy ones …


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## cipherpixy (Jul 9, 2015)

I actually like "feelers" a lot. They keep our close circle together. Contrary to MBTI stereotype they are very logical and can see and understand logic clearly. 
When do they start to get on my nerves? When they won't do something or hesitate to do something when logic clearly dictates that it's in the best of his/her or our interest that we do it. Or when they have to make tough choices and will choose the one that will make them learn the hard way that it was the wrong choice, not entirely wrong, but a decision made to go the long way around when the objective & rational choice would have suffice. Or when they want to sugarcoat something just to make it "feel right". Or when they get too politically correct. It's like they understand what I'm saying, and would even improve on my proposal, but won't follow it anyway because it doesn't "feel right". 
But they don't always make the wrong choice. Their "feelings" sometimes are right and I'm glad that they did.


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## Cosmic Hobo (Feb 7, 2013)

Raha said:


> well when i watch a movie with them or something like that,i would like to focus on it while they just make statements on how they think or how they feel about the characters or the plot etc. that is annoying. but also i annoy them too, with being like a poker face oak log(!) as they say. so it isn't just us thinkers


But what about the thinkers who sit through a movie complaining that things aren't logical or that something is physically impossible?


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## IENTP (Nov 13, 2015)

Feelers tend to be more emotional than thinkers. The one's I've come across can be very loving, giving and devoted to others but they seem to want something back and when they think they are unappreciated, their love and friendship can get replaced by frustration, hate and anger, which they feel as strongly as love. 
I'd rather be in on bad terms with a thinking type than a feeling type. Feeling types in my opinion, when really angry, and in an argument, will not hesitate to cross any borders to verbally abuse someone as much as possible. If that's a best friend they know a lot about, they can be really cruel and dance on the verge of ruining years of friendship. I sometimes think they enjoy getting an emotional response from a person no matter the cost, just because that person's seemingly "emotionless" personality was getting on their nerves for a long time. They feel if they don't shoot right into the painful spot, there's no other way to get the other one's attention. They try to shut you up by hurting you, not by logical argument.
That's in the worst scenario. But that's when they get on my nerves. Thankfully it doesn't happen often.


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## MisterPerfect (Nov 20, 2015)

I think some might but it depends. I pretty sure an ESFP would I generally adore ENFP even when I think they are being totally irrational I just want to hug them to pieces


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## MisterPerfect (Nov 20, 2015)

Cosmic Hobo said:


> But what about the thinkers who sit through a movie complaining that things aren't logical or that something is physically impossible?


LOL, that would be me XD


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