# 4w5 ISFP male not in control of my life



## Notus Asphodelus (Jan 20, 2015)

Snouker said:


> Another example : food. I can't resist food cravings. I've gained 2kg of fat these last couple of weeks cause I can't stop eating chocolate and cakes all the time. I don't want to, but my cravings are so unbearable that I end eating and then regretting and then I see the fat building up and I feel sad. And the cycle goes on.


The question is, what is the cause for the craving. Are you emotionally or physically tired? Does it make you feel better or is it a temporary solution?


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## Snouker (Nov 14, 2015)

Notus Asphodelus said:


> The question is, what is the cause for the craving. Are you emotionally or physically tired? Does it make you feel better or is it a temporary solution?


I think the cravings are caused by anxiety. Why am I anxious ? I think it's mainly because of college. I feel absolutely overwhelmed by all the things I have to learn in such a short period of time. Exams on December. I can't study them. Whenever I open up a book, anxiety builds up at the sight of the mountain of details I need to learn. So I feel paralysed and I spend my days not studying when I should. And I know the clock is ticking and the exam are getting closer. They're like a silent monster coming to hurt me. And all that anxiety makes me want to eat, because food is a temporary way to forget about the harsh reality of my situation. It's like a drug.


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## Notus Asphodelus (Jan 20, 2015)

Snouker said:


> I think the cravings are caused by anxiety. Why am I anxious ? I think it's mainly because of college. I feel absolutely overwhelmed by all the things I have to learn in such a short period of time. Exams on December. I can't study them. Whenever I open up a book, anxiety builds up at the sight of the mountain of details I need to learn. So I feel paralysed and I spend my days not studying when I should. And I know the clock is ticking and the exam are getting closer. They're like a silent monster coming to hurt me. And all that anxiety makes me want to eat, because food is a temporary way to forget about the harsh reality of my situation. It's like a drug.


Ok. The next question I hope you can answer this for me. If not it's ok. I'm just curious.. Why is it that you can't study them? Is it because you do not understand the concept of the subjects or were there to many things to learn and you do not know where to start?


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## Snouker (Nov 14, 2015)

Notus Asphodelus said:


> Ok. The next question I hope you can answer this for me. If not it's ok. I'm just curious.. Why is it that you can't study them? Is it because you do not understand the concept of the subjects or were there to many things to learn and you do not know where to start?


I understand very easily my lessons. Then why can't I study ? Well, I'm gonna try to give you an insight of what happens in my head : So I open a book, I start reading lessons. And the more I read, the more I realize how much I still need to study. Thousands of pages full of details to remember. I feel like I have to drink a whole ocean. Even if I read and learn 10 pages, which is huge, I know it's nothing, there is still thousands of pages to be learned. The ocean level doesn't change. Because there is too many information yet to integrate. And I feel overwhelmed and anxious. And I can't concentrate on the lesson anymore. So I close the book. And I do something else, like watching TV or browsing the internet, remembering that time goes by, wondering how I'm gonna learn everything.

And then I go eating chocolate or cakes, because it's a temporary relief... That I'll soon regret...and cycle goes on.


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## Notus Asphodelus (Jan 20, 2015)

Snouker said:


> I understand very easily my lessons. Then why can't I study ? Well, I'm gonna try to give you an insight of what happens in my head : So I open a book, I start reading lessons. And the more I read, the more I realize how much I still need to study. Thousands of pages full of details to remember. I feel like I have to drink a whole ocean. Even if I read and learn 10 pages, which is huge, I know it's nothing, there is still thousands of pages to be learned. The ocean level doesn't change. Because there is too many information yet to integrate. And I feel overwhelmed and anxious. And I can't concentrate on the lesson anymore. So I close the book. And I do something else, like watching TV or browsing the internet, remembering that time goes by, wondering how I'm gonna learn everything.
> 
> And then I go eating chocolate or cakes, because it's a temporary relief... That I'll soon regret...and cycle goes on.


Understanding your lesson is a good start. Have you tried making a "mind map" to summarize your book? You could either make a drawing or anagram for certain formulae that needs to be memorized.


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## nablur (Mar 9, 2017)

I know lots of people who run into that same situation. They are all looking at the mountain, instead of the first step. 

Instead of acknowledging the entire ocean of information, what would happen if you only focus on one step at a time? 

First, chapter 1, then chapter 2, etc... instead of First, learn everything, then Second, do everything.

Break it down into smaller chunks of easily achievable milestones. 

In my career, having learned the information is less important than how you function real time in your work environment. In a classroom setting, its very strict information regurgitation. In real life, you have google, peers and many other ways to be successful. 

Don't apply so much pressure, its only school. You're a smart guy, think of all the others who have already done it before you. Anything in life, you can achieve... if you put your mind to it.


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## rohan89 (Oct 15, 2016)

Red Magician said:


> So yeah, find an ENTJ and have him/her sadistically brutalize you until the job is done.
> Alternatively you can find an INTJ and get brutality light.
> If you cannot do that, find an ESFP and piggyback on their semi-structured approach and action orientation.


Can confirm, in the last couple of years I have worked with/for a couple of ENTJ's and an ESTP, they all helped me understand discipline, taking right action, and not living in emotions


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## nablur (Mar 9, 2017)

rohan89 said:


> Can confirm, in the last couple of years I have worked with/for a couple of ENTJ's and an ESTP, they all helped me understand discipline, taking right action, and not living in emotions


i actually am attempting the opposite these days - how to live with MORE emotion. haha... its hard! i barely feel emotion at all.


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