# Generally badass ESFJ reporting for duty



## Northance (May 20, 2014)

Hi! I'm a french-canadian, 21 yrs old ESFJ, presumably 1w2. Why did I join? Well, I love reading about MBTI, understanding it, talking about it, mentally typing everyone around me and just, you know, trying to be a better person by understanding my flaws.

Also, I've been reading Personality Cafe threads for a while now, but what got me to join is that a lot of people were typing Sansa Stark as an ESFJ in a Game of Thrones thread, and I just can't let that happen.

I've also read a lot of negative comments on ESFJs, which I think mostly came from ignorance since there are barely any active ESFJs on MBTI forums... So, here I am to share my point of view.

As an ESFJ, I'd say my "inspiration" would be Molly Weasley. She's just so badass. But overall, I'm trying to see the best in people of other types, so I can see what I have to work on (iNtuition, mostly...). Um, yeah. Looking forward to great discussions, guys.


P.S.: I'm also looking to challenge my views on INTJs and ESFPs. I tend to distrust them but I'm sure some people here will be able to prove me wrong.

P.P.S.: Even though I'm quite fluent in english, please forgive any grammar mistakes I might make.


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## Mr. CafeBot (Jun 13, 2009)

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## Belladonne (Mar 22, 2014)

Hullo!


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## Northance (May 20, 2014)

Jennifer Lawrence and Stephen Colbert? I think we're off to a good start.


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## Draki (Apr 4, 2014)

Northance said:


> Hi! I'm a french-canadian, 21 yrs old ESFJ, presumably 1w2. Why did I join? Well, I love reading about MBTI, understanding it, talking about it, mentally typing everyone around me and just, you know, trying to be a better person by understanding my flaws.
> 
> Also, I've been reading Personality Cafe threads for a while now, but what got me to join is that a lot of people were typing Sansa Stark as an ESFJ in a Game of Thrones thread, and I just can't let that happen.
> 
> ...


Welcome!

ESFJs cannot be so negative. In socionics they are in the best (Alpha) Quadra. 
Which would also explain your view about INTJs and ESFPs (Gamma Quadra)

Well, I'm on the search for male ESFJs. I think I've met one already, he was a priest. 
And even if I'm not very into religion, he was one of the most amazing people I've ever met. 
There is only one ENTP who I admire more 
The ESFJ always took me out too a lot of people which was very interesting, he was loved by everyone.
He introduced me to everyone (almost the whole city knew him, he was invited to a lot of families almost every evening) 
and I had a lot of interesting discussions.

I think these 2 weeks were my most productive period I've ever had in my live. There was always something to do. I think I didn't think (contemplate about sth) for the whole 2 weeks because I simply didn't have time for that. (Normally I'm thinking about something 24/7)
And he loved my sense of humour which was great (he also was very funny, he was actually 43 and I'm 23 but he often was like a very playful child which was quite funny). 

Does that sound like ESFJ to you? Perhaps I'm mistyping him?! He could also be an ISFJ because he liked more to listen than speaking himself. But he was always around people and when I tried to retreat to solitude he always pushed me out again xD
After 2 weeks I was half dead because this was really tiring for a little introvert like Ime, but I don't regret my visit.


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## Sybyll (May 9, 2009)

Welcome to the forum :happy:


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## Chest (Apr 14, 2014)

what up


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## Northance (May 20, 2014)

Draki said:


> ESFJs cannot be so negative. In socionics they are in the best (Alpha) Quadra.
> Which would also explain your view about INTJs and ESFPs (Gamma Quadra)


I didn't know that. In fact, I know nothing about socionics. Do you have a good link/ test so I can learn more about it?




Draki said:


> Does that sound like ESFJ to you? Perhaps I'm mistyping him?! He could also be an ISFJ because he liked more to listen than speaking himself.


ESFJs and ISFJs are hard to tell apart. My ex was an ISFJ and he didn't need time to "recharge" between social interactions; _I_ did. But I do feel like ESFJs tend to reach out to people (strangers) a little bit more. Also, ESFJs are more adventurous, and it's easier for them to express their feelings.

I think the person you're referring to might very well be an ESFJ; yes, we're Extroverts but his tendency to listen rather then speak could be related to his values rather than Introversion. ESFJs have very clear convictions of what is "right" and "wrong"; maybe he just values listening more than speaking (which is great!). ESFJs are very versatile and they'll adapt their behavior to match what they believe is right or desirable, so they can connect with other people better.


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## Draki (Apr 4, 2014)

@_Northance_

I think wikisocion is a good place to start.
ESFJs are normally ESE Ethical Sensing Extratim - Wikisocion
they also have the same functions, don't get confused by the Model A notation. You have 2 main functions (1 and 2), you ignore the 3rd function and your 4th function is the function which hurts the most. You are seeking people who have your 5th an 6th function as main functions (in your case socionics predicts that INTPs which are often LIIs would be your ideal match (your dual) (notice that all introverted types change the last letter in socionics! So an INTP is most of the time an INTj not an INTp which would be INTJ ) ) and you are very good at the 7th and 8th function, too but you have chosen not to use them. 

So in socionics there are the intertype relations. Socionics predicts how the types will react to other types. There are also 4 Quadras (groups) which are fitting very well together: Quadra - Wikisocion
You would be Alpha with LII, ILE, SEI and other ESE (in MBTI that are INTPs, ENTPs, ISFJ, ESFJ) 

Well there is a lot more to socionics. I think it's more complicated than MBTI but there is also more interesting stuff in my opinion.

They have a few different notions in socionics: Ethics is Feeling

Also there are many people who say that functions are different than in MBTI for example Ni or the feeling functions. So I think it helps if you don't compare MBTI and Socionics but take both as two different systems which don't relate at all to each other. So you can be a totally different socionics type than in MBTI. But often they ressemble each other. Don't forget to switch the j and p for introverted types though.

Well, it's nothing you could learn in 5 minutes. It's a whole system like MBTI. Many give up because it's too complicated or they say the functions are wrong (that's why I explained them immediately to you, they are just in another order actually)



Northance said:


> ESFJs and ISFJs are hard to tell apart. My ex was an ISFJ and he didn't need time to "recharge" between social interactions; _I_ did. But I do feel like ESFJs tend to reach out to people (strangers) a little bit more. Also, ESFJs are more adventurous, and it's easier for them to express their feelings.


http://www.wikisocion.org/en/index.php?title=Mirror
That would be the relationship description between an ESFJ and an ISFJ. 

An INTJ (ILI or INTp in socionics) would be your conflictor. The type you will have the most problems with because their dominant function is your vulnerable spot: http://www.wikisocion.org/en/index.php?title=Conflict

ESFP (SEE or ESFp in Socionics) is the conflictor of INTP (LII or INTj)
And because ESFJ (ESE or ESFj) and INTP (LII) are duals and therefore the perfect match, they would try to help each other, especially they help their dual partner with their conflictor. And can protect them. 

So you see, I found it quite interesting that you want to challenge especially INTJs and ESFPs 
Socionics says that you will be able to stand up against ESFPs (to protect your dual partner INTP)
but for the INTJ you would need help from your dual partner INTP. 
And socionics describes exactly why it is like that. 

But after all it is just a theory... I recently saw a video "INTP / ESFP interaction" and it was interesting and they were really open and harmonious. No conflict. But perhaps Socionics just wants to say that they wouldn't fit in a longterm relationship.

Well, if you have any questions feel free to contact me. I'm very enthusiatic about this topic and like to explain it. I think there is also a socionics forum here. 
This is also a good starting point into socionics: http://www.wikisocion.org/en/index.php?title=Socionics


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## Northance (May 20, 2014)

Thank you, Draki. I must admit I'm a little confused, because what I learned was that ESFPs were my quasi-identicals (basically: aiming for similar goals, but using different ways to pursue them), and that that was the cause for all the friction. I also heard that I was supposed to _like_ INTJs, for the opposite reason (different goals, but similar ways to pursue them). Actually, the problems I've had with INTJs were more of a coincidence, I think. The INTJs I know probably just happen to be assholes. Whereas, I genuinely dislike ESFPs from the moment I meet them. There's always some kind of weird rivalry.


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## Draki (Apr 4, 2014)

Northance said:


> Thank you, Draki. I must admit I'm a little confused, because what I learned was that ESFPs were my quasi-identicals (basically: aiming for similar goals, but using different ways to pursue them), and that that was the cause for all the friction. I also heard that I was supposed to _like_ INTJs, for the opposite reason (different goals, but similar ways to pursue them). Actually, the problems I've had with INTJs were more of a coincidence, I think. The INTJs I know probably just happen to be assholes. Whereas, I genuinely dislike ESFPs from the moment I meet them. There's always some kind of weird rivalry.


I think in real life you cannot even say "I don't like him because he is an ESFP" because every human is unique. But in theory you have these intertypes relations. And it's true that they are different. I think MBTI predicts that you like your complet opposite but in socionics it's different. Well, if you really like to discover socionics you shoudn't compare it with MBTI because they are different systems.


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## Bear987 (May 13, 2012)




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## aus2020 (Jun 29, 2011)

Northance said:


> Hi! I'm a french-canadian, 21 yrs old ESFJ, presumably 1w2. Why did I join? Well, I love reading about MBTI, understanding it, talking about it, mentally typing everyone around me and just, you know, trying to be a better person by understanding my flaws.
> 
> Also, I've been reading Personality Cafe threads for a while now, but what got me to join is that a lot of people were typing Sansa Stark as an ESFJ in a Game of Thrones thread, and I just can't let that happen.
> 
> ...



How is Sansa Stark as ESFJ a bad thing? She's the 24th most popular character in the recent poll. What's considered good or bad is mostly subjective. Arya Stark ESTP is my personal favourite.


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## Psychophant (Nov 29, 2013)

Yellow.


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## Northance (May 20, 2014)

aus2020 said:


> How is Sansa Stark as ESFJ a bad thing? She's the 24th most popular character in the recent poll. What's considered good or bad is mostly subjective. Arya Stark ESTP is my personal favourite.


I'm not letting my personal taste dictate my typing. I don't dislike Sansa. She's just not an ESFJ. But there are so few ESFJs on this forum (and therefore, a global lack of understanding of what ESFJs are like) that everybody went ahead and typed her as such without question, even though she's clearly not one. My personal guess for Sansa would be ISFJ.

The only 3 characters on the show I believe to be ESFJs are Catelyn Stark, Lysa Arryn and Podrick Payne. And Hodor maybe, even though it's quite hard to tell.


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## RiftsWRX (May 22, 2014)

Great read! Check out the type 2 sub forum. I have my entire story that brought me here in there. Perhaps you'd have some words of wisdom from a different perspective.


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## chicklit (Feb 28, 2014)

@Northance I don't understand why people see Sansa as an Extrovert. ISFJ all the way.

Great to have you here, we definitely need more Fe-doms. :tongue:


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## Bricolage (Jul 29, 2012)

Northance said:


> Hi! I'm a french-canadian, 21 yrs old ESFJ, presumably 1w2. Why did I join? Well, I love reading about MBTI, understanding it, talking about it, mentally typing everyone around me and just, you know, trying to be a better person by understanding my flaws.
> 
> Also, I've been reading Personality Cafe threads for a while now, but what got me to join is that a lot of people were typing Sansa Stark as an ESFJ in a Game of Thrones thread, and I just can't let that happen.
> 
> ...


What duty are you hoping to carry out here?


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## Northance (May 20, 2014)

Bricolage said:


> What duty are you hoping to carry out here?


Is this a trick question?

Taking over the forum, of course.


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## Bricolage (Jul 29, 2012)

Northance said:


> Is this a trick question?
> 
> Taking over the forum, of course.


No and for what purpose haha?


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