# Me (ESFJ) + Boyfriend (INTP) What is "SPACE" for INTP people?



## HANABI (Sep 14, 2011)

Hello, I am ESFJ woman and I have been in a relationship with INTP man for 6 years.
(Sorry if my English is not good enough... I am not a native speaker.... and if its long...i am ESFJ...)

He has been saying that he needs "SPACE".
I have been trying to give him.

Even we live together, we have separate room.
When he say he wants have SPACE, i leave him and do sth more by myself.
I go out more often than him. 

Even he says he need SPACE, he also like to spend time with me and it has been also his choice to spend time with me.

Do you understand what his mean of "SPACE"?

As you can guess, he doesnt explain as ESFJ type.
So, I dont know exactly, specifically, what kind of SPACE he needs and i can support.

I would like to give him SPACE but dont know how.

I guess it is both external and internal SPACE.
But he comes to me externally everyday. 
About mind SPACE, how can i do?

Can you understand what he means?
If so, could you help me?

Thank you so much!!!!!


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## Obsidean (Mar 24, 2010)

When he says he needs space I would leave him alone until he comes to you.


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## Ista (Feb 5, 2012)

HANABI said:


> Hello, I am ESFJ woman and I have been in a relationship with INTP man for 6 years.
> (Sorry if my English is not good enough... I am not a native speaker.... and if its long...i am ESFJ...)
> 
> He has been saying that he needs "SPACE".
> I have been trying to give him.


I feel now is the right time to use "lawlz" for the first time ever. 

Heheh. (I hope other people's contributions are more valuable to you)

Basically it means: I will be more attracted to you if I do not see, hear, smell, taste or touch you. All bets are off until I come to you. Until then, do not allow me to know of your existence. 

PS. If you do this sincerely I will love you more. 
PSI. If you don't do this I might implode. Not pretty.
PSII. Let's not talk about this again, you get it now. Right, right?

* See includes emails and texts.

It's nice that you're trying to understand.

**** Just noticed the date on the original post, hope you got it sorted out - how did it go?


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## HANABI (Sep 14, 2011)

Thank you very much Ista-san,
I think your advise is exactly what i need to do.
Yes, the post is kinda old....
After the post, he told me that he has to be single for he needs space to solve his own issue.
He told me that for he has to be single, he needs to break up with me. 
We are still living together and I think I am still not good at giving him the space he needs.
But I think I really needs to work on your advise.
....
Thank you so much.
Today was really good timing that you gave me another new advise.....
Thank you so much>.<.


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## Ista (Feb 5, 2012)

HANABI said:


> Thank you very much Ista-san,
> I think your advise is exactly what i need to do.
> Yes, the post is kinda old....
> After the post, he told me that he has to be single for he needs space to solve his own issue.
> ...


hehehh  really glad it was useful.


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## Empress Appleia Cattius XII (Dec 22, 2010)

This should suffice.










On a more serious note, INTPs need time alone to process all the information they've gathered during the day. We also usually have some idea or theory to work on, and don't really appreciate too much contact whilst doing so.

If an INTP is needing space, never (and I mean never) try and force them to spend time with you.
Resentment is a mild reaction to such things for an INTP.


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## goodgracesbadinfluence (Feb 28, 2011)

He may have meant space emotionally, not physically.


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