# Can an introvert be extremely image conscious?



## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

I'm not sure if I'm an introvert or an extrovert.I never interacted much with people outside of my family because of being really shy and somewhat socially awkward, but I was always quite bubbly and talkative with people I knew well and/or really liked at first sight for some reason. Now I still don't have many friends and the ones I have are introverts, which I hate.I'd like to spend more time socialising, but I'm not 100% sure if it's a sign of extraversion because everyone needs some social interaction.

Thing that confuses me is that I can spend weeks alone (well, not really alone, but interacting with very few people) and I feel comfortable just watching TV and eating and I don't really like talking to people that much(if it's neither about me nor about something really exciting), but everything I want is external and it's been like that for a very long time.All I want to is to be well known, admired, envied,irreplaceable and maybe even tragic if all else fails.I mostly concern myself with things others can see and nothing else ever worries me much.I don't even care if I'm feeling negative emotions as long as they go well with the rest of my ever changing identity. When I find something about myself that doesn't fit I either look at it from a different perspective so it would fit better or I deem it as insignificant.I also try to convince people I am what I want to be so they could reassure me when I need it.

So, my question is, could such a person be an introvert? I know E/I is about how a person gets energy, but I'm not sure.And I know I'm not normal, you don't have to point it out.


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## FallingSlowly (Jul 1, 2013)

You need to distinguish between social introversion/extraversion and I/E in the cognitive sense IMHO. A social introvert (drained by too many people etc) can absolutely be an extravert in the cognitive sense (as in "focusing on the outer world").

Also, social introversion is not the same as being shy. And wanting to be admired can stem from a million things (from insecurity to delusions of grandeur and narcissism) - it doesn't have anything to do with introversion or extraversion in the strict sense.

I am a slight social introvert - I need time on my own, and social situations drain my energy. That doesn't mean however I am really uncomfortable in them - I enjoy them to an extent, but I need some alone time afterwards to recharge my batteries. And I'm definitely not shy, despite being an introvert.

Introversion in the sense of cognition is something different - it's more about your focus (inner vs. outer world, focus on the object etc).

So to just answer the question in your headline: Yes.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

FallingSlowly said:


> You need to distinguish between social introversion/extraversion and I/E in the cognitive sense IMHO. A social introvert (drained by too many people etc) can absolutely be an extravert in the cognitive sense (as in "focusing on the outer world").
> 
> Also, social introversion is not the same as being shy. And wanting to be admired can stem from a million things (from insecurity to delusions of grandeur and narcissism) - it doesn't have anything to do with introversion or extraversion in the strict sense.
> 
> ...


But how can I know if I get drained or energized by people?


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## Pau7 (Jun 20, 2013)

Living dead said:


> But how can I know if I get drained or energized by people?


Do you need time alone after big events/being around a lot of people?

Tbh, I know I'm an introvert because my inner world is where I really focus. I don't usually get drained by people, but I do really enjoy time alone. The E/I scale more about where your focus is centered, not whether you get drained by people or not.

Also, you might be closer to the center of the scale if you aren't sure. I really only realized I'm an introvert, because I figured out my dominant function is Fi after looking into cog. functions. Not everyone "looks" like an introvert, especially if you're closer to the center of the scale or switch quickly between the inner and outer world.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

Pau7 said:


> Do you need time alone after big events/being around a lot of people?
> 
> Tbh, I know I'm an introvert because my inner world is where I really focus. I don't usually get drained by people, but I do really enjoy time alone. The E/I scale more about where your focus is centered, not whether you get drained by people or not.
> 
> Also, you might be closer to the center of the scale if you aren't sure. I really only realized I'm an introvert, because I figured out my dominant function is Fi after looking into cog. functions. Not everyone "looks" like an introvert, especially if you're closer to the center of the scale or switch quickly between the inner and outer world.


The thing is I actually look like an introvert to most people because that's how I present myself. And I don't think I'm around people enough to need time alone.I only go to school which is basically few hours of chatting and laughing and I sometimes go shopping or something like that with a friend, but it doesn't seem like much.I like interacting with people as long as they aren't depressingly lame and boring because I can't help but feel like people I associate with represent me.When I talk to someone I admire, I feel on top of the world, especially if focus is on me.Even conflicts give me energy and confidence.


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## Pau7 (Jun 20, 2013)

Living dead said:


> The thing is I actually look like an introvert to most people because that's how I present myself. And I don't think I'm around people enough to need time alone.I only go to school which is basically few hours of chatting and laughing and I sometimes go shopping or something like that with a friend, but it doesn't seem like much.I like interacting with people as long as they aren't depressingly lame and boring because I can't help but feel like people I associate with represent me.When I talk to someone I admire, I feel on top of the world, especially if focus is on me.Even conflicts give me energy and confidence.


I've felt a similar way at times before, too. "Looking" like an introvert or an extravert has nothing to do with being an introvert/extravert. It has to do with where your focus is centered. Are you more interested in your own thoughts and feelings or the world around you?


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

For an introvert, the interactions with the outside are essentially based in the internal world. It can feel draining to interact with the outside purely because it's not of the inside world, whatever that inner world is. everything is interacted with as if it's just an extension of the inner world, it's deeply colored by your own mind and feelings. But you might be slow and inactive, needing time to think and staying within yourself because the outside world hasn't yet become a part of your inner world. An introvert might be very image conscious, many probably are...It's just that an extrovert is gonna have a lot more energy to be free in their exchanges with the external, meaning they can chase their image conscious drives and desires more freely and actively than an introvert. And for the introvert, it's gonna be more deeply rooted in the self. Branching out to satisfy the inner self more than something objective

Are you some kind of Fi type?


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

lycanized said:


> Are you some kind of Fi type?


I don't think so.I act all the time, 'feel' emotions I believe I should feel, am quite unaware of my real emotions and beliefs.I always have some kind of ideal I'm trying to live up to and I manipulate my thoughts and feelings to fit it.When I'm talking to people my feelings change constantly. If I admire a person and want to impress them I'll agree with them (and actually believe it for the most part), but if I'm with someone that doesn't matter, I'll try to annoy them by being what they hate the most.In that case I'll again think I'm being relatively honest.I also actively try to think things people I like think and I hate it when someone I don't admire agrees with me and I immediately have to play with perspective to make something else of it.The problem occurs when I get time to think and I notice all the inconsistencies in my thoughts and behaviour and then I can't tell which is really me.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

Pau7 said:


> Are you more interested in your own thoughts and feelings or the world around you?


What if my focus is centered around my thoughts that are centered around the external world?And is external world only about people?


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## FallingSlowly (Jul 1, 2013)

Living dead said:


> But how can I know if I get drained or energized by people?


Well, of course everyone will be drained to an extent by people they dislike, or situations they're not comfortable in, but if you feel you need to get away from busy/stimulating environments after a while, you're most likely more of an introvert. If you're more of the type who seeks out these environments, you're probably more of an extrovert. It's a continuum really, you could simply be somewhere in the middle.

I personally simply know. It's a feeling of "I've had enough", even if I rather enjoyed the situation and the company.

Have a look at this, it raises some important points:
The Science of What Makes an Introvert and an Extrovert


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

FallingSlowly said:


> Well, of course everyone will be drained to an extent by people they dislike, or situations they're not comfortable in, but if you feel you need to get away from busy/stimulating environments after a while, you're most likely more of an introvert. If you're more of the type who seeks out these environments, you're probably more of an extrovert. It's a continuum really, you could simply be somewhere in the middle.
> 
> I personally simply know. It's a feeling of "I've had enough", even if I rather enjoyed the situation and the company.
> 
> ...


I read the thing, but I still don't know how to look at it.I mean, I'm scared of the truth so I avoid all the situations that could face me with it although I crave them at the same time.I never experienced being overwhelmed by a very noisy, crowded place though, I love such places.I hate it when there's nothing going on, but I'm afraid of making things happen. Like, I really, really want to be the life of a party, but I'm not even gonna go if someone doesn't beg me to go and I'll just sit there and sulk if people don't naturally gravitate towards me.I can't tell if I'm an introvert who lost part of that introversion in desire to be an extrovert or a very inhibited extrovert.I view introversion as the biggest burden and an obstacle to get the only thing in the world that matters.Every article about introverts makes me think of them as asocial freaks who have nothing to live for and I can't escape that thought and I can't accept that I might be one.I'm feeling so depressed right now.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

I hope I haven't offended any introverts with the statement above.I actually wish I could be more truly introverted,but I seem to be the case when introversion just doesn't work like it's supposed to.I'm basically nothing


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## Pau7 (Jun 20, 2013)

Living dead said:


> What if my focus is centered around my thoughts that are centered around the external world?And is external world only about people?


Of course everyone thinks of the external world. An introvert thinks more about ideas relating to the external world, while an extravert thinks more about current events or activities they want to do. You should look up the difference between an introvert and an extravert, because your question is difficult to answer.

No, the external world is about the external world. Things you have to do, the work required by your job or school, any interaction with the outside world, and of course people (however, especially for an introvert, these things will at least partially pass into the internal world once the person is very familiar with them. Family members/close friends are people who have passed into your internal world).


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

Pau7 said:


> Of course everyone thinks of the external world. An introvert thinks more about ideas relating to the external world, while an extravert thinks more about current events or activities they want to do. You should look up the difference between an introvert and an extravert, because your question is difficult to answer.
> 
> No, the external world is about the external world. Things you have to do, the work required by your job or school, any interaction with the outside world, and of course people (however, especially for an introvert, these things will at least partially pass into the internal world once the person is very familiar with them. Family members/close friends are people who have passed into your internal world).


Isn't ideas vs. current events more of a N/S thing?I think everything you've written is more about N/S. S is more down to earth and N has head in the clouds.It shouldn't have much to do with I/E although I think ESxx is more of a stereotypical extrovert than ENxx


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## Pau7 (Jun 20, 2013)

Living dead said:


> Isn't ideas vs. current events more of a N/S thing?


No. I'm definitely an S type, and I think of different ideas or try to find the underlying idea of things pretty often. S/N is all about how you perceive the world and how concrete/abstract your ideas are.


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## Velasquez (Jul 3, 2012)

Yes. See ISFPs.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

Pau7 said:


> No. I'm definitely an S type, and I think of different ideas or try to find the underlying idea of things pretty often. S/N is all about how you perceive the world and how concrete/abstract your ideas are.


I didn't say it's all black and white, but does not thinking about here and now automatically make someone an introvert? I don't think so.I don't know, maybe I'm just stupid,maybe there are too many different opinions on it, but I just can't grasp the concept of E/I.
A question:
How would an introvert feel about an hour or two of doing absolutely nothing? Like, no TV, no music, no food, just them and their thoughts.


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## OrdinarinessIsAFWTD (Jun 28, 2011)

There's always the odd introverted Three enneatype.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

Meritocrat said:


> There's always the odd introverted Three enneatype.


That would explain


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## OrdinarinessIsAFWTD (Jun 28, 2011)

Living dead said:


> That would explain it.


Not completely.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

Meritocrat said:


> Not completely.


Is anything ever completely explained?


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## cudibloop (Oct 11, 2012)

4w3


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

cudibloop said:


> 4w3


Well I'd say I'm 3w4.


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## cudibloop (Oct 11, 2012)

Living dead said:


> Well I'd say I'm 3w4.


You identify with being a tragic figure and seem to spend more time fantasizing stagnantly than doing. However, a sexual-3w4 isn't far fetched.


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## soya (Jun 29, 2010)

Living dead said:


> A question:
> How would an introvert feel about an hour or two of doing absolutely nothing? Like, no TV, no music, no food, just them and their thoughts.


Both E and I types need some down time, but as a rule, introverts are associated more with spending time alone to reflect. It's what helps introverts "recharge" our energies. 

Maybe some examples of behavior could help? Well, this is how I'd compare myself (INFP) to my friend (ESFP):

- We go to a party. We both say hello to others, but he immediately warms up to people, gives hugs, while I keep some distance -- I observe more than interact when I first arrive. He dives right in, while i just dip my foot in the water, so to speak. Introverts can absolutely be friendly and engaging in the moment, but introverts also generally prefer to assess situations before engaging fully with them. It takes me a few minutes to adjust to a setting fully, where my ESFP friend seems adjusted in a few seconds.

- We both enjoy ourselves at the party, but after a few hours I am feeling worn out...yet it seems that my friend is feeling even more energized. Extroverts are recharged by interacting with the world around them, socializing, doing physical activities. Introverts may enjoy these things too, but their energies are slowly drained in doing them. What introverts need is some alone time to balance themselves out, and that impetus comes faster for them than for their extroverted friends.

- We're going to host a get together at our building. Days in advance I am taking inventory of what supplies we have, what supplies we need, putting together a playlist... I like being prepared before things happen; rushing to get things done at the last minute is stressful for me so I try to avoid that. He (ESFP) waits until the day of the party to start setting up, and takes on much of the cleaning, setting up tables, etc. - last minute is no problem for him, it is even perhaps what he prefers over too much planning. When guests arrive, I like to already have been set up and had a few minutes to relax alone beforehand, where my friend seems to be happy running around doing things and have the guests arrive in the process - continuous external stimulation.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

cudibloop said:


> You identify with being a tragic figure and seem to spend more time fantasizing stagnantly than doing. However, a sexual-3w4 isn't far fetched.


I identify with being a tragic figure only in the darkest of times.Normally I identify with being an awesome figure that is somewhat tragic.And what's a sexual-3w4?


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## soya (Jun 29, 2010)

cudibloop said:


> You identify with being a tragic figure and seem to spend more time fantasizing stagnantly than doing. However, a sexual-3w4 isn't far fetched.


I could see sx/so.


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## cudibloop (Oct 11, 2012)

Living dead said:


> I identify with being a tragic figure only in the darkest of times.Normally I identify with being an awesome figure that is somewhat tragic.And what's a sexual-3w4?


3w4 Sx/So sounds about right. You seem to get your way, and you don't seem to be apologetic about your more 'judgmental' qualities. 4w3s are more ambivalent towards it.

You can read about instinctual variant theory (Sexual, Social, Self preserving types) here if interested:

Instinctual variants


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## Pau7 (Jun 20, 2013)

Living dead said:


> I didn't say it's all black and white, but does not thinking about here and now automatically make someone an introvert? I don't think so.I don't know, maybe I'm just stupid,maybe there are too many different opinions on it, but I just can't grasp the concept of E/I.
> A question:
> How would an introvert feel about an hour or two of doing absolutely nothing? Like, no TV, no music, no food, just them and their thoughts.


Listening to music really activates my Fi and to a lesser extent, TV. I can sit alone dreaming and writing (the latter is unusual for ISFP's, most express themselves through different forms) for hours, but music helps me "get in the zone", concentrate, and give inspiration through the different feelings it evokes.

Sitting with no sound is boring because there's nothing tangible to base my feelings on.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

soya said:


> Both E and I types need some down time, but as a rule, introverts are associated more with spending time alone to reflect. It's what helps introverts "recharge" our energies.
> 
> Maybe some examples of behavior could help? Well, this is how I'd compare myself (INFP) to my friend (ESFP):
> 
> ...


Shouldn't shyness, high expectations and never going anywhere play a part too?

I'd probably behave like this (although I hate sentences that have I'd...):I'd be sooo excited about being invited and going, but I probably would complain a bit to get people to convince me to go and get interested in the idea of me going.

Then I'd buy new clothes just for the party, think about the party for days before it actually happens, fantasise about it, think of things I'm going to say, of how I'll walk into a room, etc.It would set my expectations really high.

When I'd finally come, I'd expect everyone to approach me, look at me, flirt with me, but I'd still be very unapproachable as always so those things wouldn't happen, at least not as extremely as I'd like them to.That would make me angry and envious of more popular people so I'd sit in the corner and wait for someone to ask me what's wrong.

After a party I'd probably feel energised, in spite of everything, but I'm not sure if I'd still feel good if I had to do it every week.Or maybe then I'd become more comfortable, i don't know.And I'd definitely tell everyone that I don't like parties because I'm so smart and introverted. 


All in all, I think that people in general energise me and I noticed I'm a lot more tired and irritable when I'm not doing anything, but I don't know what's my limit.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

Pau7 said:


> Listening to music really activates my Fi and to a lesser extent, TV. I can sit alone dreaming and writing (the latter is unusual for ISFP's, most express themselves through different forms) for hours, but music helps me "get in the zone", concentrate, and give inspiration through the different feelings it evokes.
> 
> Sitting with no sound is boring because there's nothing tangible to base my feelings on.


I get what you mean although I don't really express myself, especially not through writing.I understand even introverts need some external inspiration.For me both music and TV are tries to escape from myself.I usually watch light stuff like sitcoms and people embarrassing themselves on talent and reality shows when I'm alone.Music helps me in keeping my identity when there's no one else around.I hear a song that reflects what I already know about myself and I think to myself "That's who I am" so it wouldn't get lost.I save more cheerful, dance music for when I'm with people or actually doing something besides thinking and pacing around.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

cudibloop said:


> 3w4 Sx/So sounds about right. You seem to get your way, and you don't seem to be apologetic about your more 'judgmental' qualities. 4w3s are more ambivalent towards it.
> 
> You can read about instinctual variant theory (Sexual, Social, Self preserving types) here if interested:
> 
> Instinctual variants


I agree with 3w4 sx/so.I'm not sure about getting my way though. Of course, I do get my way most of the time and I take great pride in that, but lately I've been questioning myself due to some negative comments on my 'lifestyle'.I seem to be better at finding the right people than at actually doing or saying things to get my way.I know it will cost me in the future, even more than it does now, but I hope I'll get wiser by then.As for being fine with my negative qualities, it's probably because I grew up in a home where kindness and modesty were made fun of and selfishness was seen as rationality and strength. 
Does that change anything?


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## Pau7 (Jun 20, 2013)

Living dead said:


> I get what you mean although I don't really express myself, especially not through writing.I understand even introverts need some external inspiration.For me both music and TV are tries to escape from myself.I usually watch light stuff like sitcoms and people embarrassing themselves on talent and reality shows when I'm alone.Music helps me in keeping my identity when there's no one else around.I hear a song that reflects what I already know about myself and I think to myself "That's who I am" so it wouldn't get lost.I save more cheerful, dance music for when I'm with people or actually doing something besides thinking and pacing around.


I don't think you should compare yourself directly with me or other people. Everyone has different needs and of course ours aren't going to be the same...Overall, I'm just trying to show you that introverts don't sit around just thinking and extraverts aren't constantly around people/out doing stuff.

The best thing to do is figure out where you place yourself on the scale, or look at cog. functions and figure out your dominant function.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

Pau7 said:


> The best thing to do is figure out where you place yourself on the scale, or look at cog. functions and figure out your dominant function.


I know, but I've had enough of it all.I just can't figure anything out by myself and other people's opinions vary which makes me self doubting and confused because just when I get used to the idea of being,let's say,a sensor, someone jumps out and claims I'm definitely intuitive and 10 more people agree.


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## soya (Jun 29, 2010)

Living dead said:


> I know, but I've had enough of it all.I just can't figure anything out by myself and other people's opinions vary which makes me self doubting and confused because just when I get used to the idea of being,let's say,a sensor, someone jumps out and claims I'm definitely intuitive and 10 more people agree.


Never take another person's opinion completely at face value -- analyze it, pick it apart.


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## Jordgubb (Oct 5, 2013)

I'm an introvert and I care about appearance... I don't care for " the in fashion", but I do like to look put together in public. I'm more about clean lines and color coordinating.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

kaffekopp said:


> I'm an introvert and I care about appearance... I don't care for " the in fashion", but I do like to look put together in public. I'm more about clean lines and color coordinating.


I'm not talking about appearance only. Most people aren't allowed to show up to work looking like they just rolled out of bed so if you make an effort to brush your hair and wear clean clothes why not buy some nice clothes and do some color coordinating as well.What I want to say is that everyone is expected and should care about appearance at least a bit and that's definitely not limited to extroverts.Dependence on every person's opinion and basing your identity on it is what I was talking about.

.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

So, it all comes down to this one question I should have asked long time ago:Can an introvert have histrionic personality disorder? I don't claim to be neither introverted nor histrionic, but I think I'm very close to both although they are supposed to be polar opposites.


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## Pau7 (Jun 20, 2013)

Living dead said:


> I know, but I've had enough of it all.I just can't figure anything out by myself and other people's opinions vary which makes me self doubting and confused because just when I get used to the idea of being,let's say,a sensor, someone jumps out and claims I'm definitely intuitive and 10 more people agree.


Especially over the internet, people can misinterpret or misread what you've written. Or, they might be biased. It doesn't matter what other people think, what's important is who you are. 

I don't think you have a clear idea of what each of the functions are/do and where they play into your life. Relying on people to figure out things you don't even know, especially when they only know the details that you can provide, is really unreliable and I don't recommend it.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

Pau7 said:


> Especially over the internet, people can misinterpret or misread what you've written. Or, they might be biased. It doesn't matter what other people think, what's important is who you are.
> 
> I don't think you have a clear idea of what each of the functions are/do and where they play into your life. Relying on people to figure out things you don't even know, especially when they only know the details that you can provide, is really unreliable and I don't recommend it.


What can I do then? I mean, I chose this time to find my type (I actually started a couple of months ago, but gave up) because over the summer holidays I felt so alone and empty and I thought that it would be good for typing because I could describe the real me, but of course, it didn't work.I started all that only because I missed being evaluated. I don't know what to do.I feel like I'm heading the wrong way and I need something to get me back on the right track, whatever it may be.


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## MrShatter (Sep 28, 2010)

Look into 3 and 4 on the Enneagram. It might help you clarify things.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

MrShatter said:


> Look into 3 and 4 on the Enneagram. It might help you clarify things.


I'm pretty sure I'm 3w4 sx/so.I don't know what to make of it though, it seems I'm both unhealthy and atypical example of everything.


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## Pau7 (Jun 20, 2013)

Living dead said:


> What can I do then? I mean, I chose this time to find my type (I actually started a couple of months ago, but gave up) because over the summer holidays I felt so alone and empty and I thought that it would be good for typing because I could describe the real me, but of course, it didn't work.I started all that only because I missed being evaluated. I don't know what to do.I feel like I'm heading the wrong way and I need something to get me back on the right track, whatever it may be.


So MBTI was more of an outlet for loneliness than for getting to know yourself better?


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## Xenograft (Jul 1, 2013)

To answer the thread title:

_*Yes.*_


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## FlightsOfFancy (Dec 30, 2012)

Sure they can: look at Lana Del Rey and Lady Gaga (both ISFPs IMO) vs. John Stewart (ENFJ? or ENTP). The first two don't even leave their houses without a 'look'


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## MrShatter (Sep 28, 2010)

Living dead said:


> I'm pretty sure I'm 3w4 sx/so.I don't know what to make of it though, it seems I'm both unhealthy and atypical example of everything.


You may be an MBTI introvert but an "Enneagram extravert"


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

Pau7 said:


> So MBTI was more of an outlet for loneliness than for getting to know yourself better?


Well,the first time I looked at it was different, but I didn't know anything about functions back then and I got bored of it all quickly.Now it's basically fixing a problem of not knowing who I am by trying to find a type I could be.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

MrShatter said:


> You may be an MBTI introvert but an "Enneagram extravert"


Still don't know if I'm a MBTI introvert though.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

One more question:How common is having absolutely no interests, no things to think about, etc. for an introvert.Only thing I can do when I'm alone is watch TV and eat , but I was fine with it before because I was a kid and I thought things are gonna change, plus I had my family to hang out with at home so I never really had time to think of how much time I was wasting.


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## Ballast (Jun 17, 2013)

Living dead said:


> Every article about introverts makes me think of them as asocial freaks who have nothing to live for and I can't escape that thought and I can't accept that I might be one.I'm feeling so depressed right now.


Wow. You're probably not an introvert then.



Living dead said:


> A question: How would an introvert feel about an hour or two of doing absolutely nothing? Like, no TV, no music, no food, just them and their thoughts.


Wonderful. I do it all the time.



Living dead said:


> One more question:How common is having absolutely no interests, no things to think about, etc. for an introvert.Only thing I can do when I'm alone is watch TV and eat , but I was fine with it before because I was a kid and I thought things are gonna change, plus I had my family to hang out with at home so I never really had time to think of how much time I was wasting.


Pretty uncommon I'd say. We're built out of our own personal interests. I consider myself the best company I know. You sound like you lack context on your own, and as you've made very clear, you get that context through others. It seems like you need them to mold you into how to think/feel/act, which may be personality disorder territory rather than MBTI related. But I see no reason to think you aren't naturally an extrovert.


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## jonagelle (Oct 8, 2013)

yes anyone can be self conscious. Because he has his own self that he handles.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

Ballast said:


> Wow. You're probably not an introvert then.


Why would that necessarily be true? People can hate who they are.


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## Pau7 (Jun 20, 2013)

Living dead said:


> Why would that necessarily be true? People can hate who they are.


But why does it bother you? Is it because society equates and confuses introversion with being asocial? Or is it because _you'd_ really hate the idea of being one?


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

Pau7 said:


> But why does it bother you? Is it because society equates and confuses introversion with being asocial? Or is it because _you'd_ really hate the idea of being one?


I'd hate the idea of being one (with exception of INTJ) because I equate it with never being the person with bunch of friends and acquaintances that is always the centre of attention.I get what you mean.I don't think others have a problem with introverts.


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## cudibloop (Oct 11, 2012)

Living dead said:


> I'd hate the idea of being one because I equate it with never being the person with bunch of friends and acquaintances that is always the centre of attention.I get what you mean.I don't think others have a problem with introverts.


If it makes you feel any better, Introverts have more subtlety and thus can have more of an 'allure' to some.


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## Brian1 (May 7, 2011)

4s are image triads and withdrawn. So the answer to your question is yes, it can be both.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

cudibloop said:


> Introverts have more subtlety and are often more 'fascinating' than extroverts to some. Andy Warhol (ISFP 3w4) is much more interesting than Drake (ENFJ 3w2).


Yeah, but the problem is that then you really have to be deeply fascinating and preferably not care so much about people's opinions.Nobody likes an introvert who has no knowledge and deep interests.Who wants to a be an empty , ignorant,attention whoring introvert when they are actually supposed to be the opposite?Something about calling myself an introvert just doesn't feel right.My introversion is the first thing I started doubting first time when I tried to type myself although I was more than fine with it back then.


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## Pau7 (Jun 20, 2013)

Living dead said:


> I'd hate the idea of being one (with exception of INTJ) because I equate it with never being the person with bunch of friends and acquaintances that is always the centre of attention.I get what you mean.I don't think others have a problem with introverts.


I see what you mean.

Speaking from experience, I was in a group of friends (the "party" group that everyone wanted to be in), but I realized it's really not as amazing as people think. Yeah, it's fun, but those people are only reliable as long as you follow the group and carry on with shallow friendships that center on fun trips and the group gossip (and yes, I am an introvert - that's how badly I wanted in).

I felt like for a long time that that was the ideal I wanted, this kind of exclusive facade to feel accepted and happy. So I totally relate where you're coming from. 

It took a lot of time and growth for me to realize that it was the goal of that image that was keeping me going, and in the process I totally neglected and disregarded myself to appeal to other people. I only learned this after they left me high and dry because I didn't want to compromise my morals.

It doesn't mean anything to be the center of attention, unless it's really with people you actually care about. Deep and meaningful triumphs over shallow and changing with the wind. You'll be a much happier person once you realize this. Eventually most people do, including the people who are the center of attention all the time (if they have any depth at all).


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## FallingSlowly (Jul 1, 2013)

Living dead said:


> One more question:How common is having absolutely no interests, no things to think about, etc. for an introvert.Only thing I can do when I'm alone is watch TV and eat , but I was fine with it before because I was a kid and I thought things are gonna change, plus I had my family to hang out with at home so I never really had time to think of how much time I was wasting.


Has in general nothing to do with being an introvert. Introverts also aren't antisocial per se, or any of the other things you're worried about. I am an introvert, and I'm none of these things. I have friends, hobbies and interests. And a pretty good life. Hasn't always been thus - are you still quite young/teenage? Because I sort of have an inkling your dilemma might rather be related to your age (I was a lot more withdrawn when I was younger).

Also: If you knew what you were and you could label yourself: What difference would it make? You're still the same person. Nothing would change.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

Pau7 said:


> I see what you mean.
> 
> Speaking from experience, I was in a group of friends (the "party" group that everyone wanted to be in), but I realized it's really not as amazing as people think. Yeah, it's fun, but those people are only reliable as long as you follow the group and carry on with shallow friendships that center on fun trips and the group gossip (and yes, I am an introvert - that's how badly I wanted in).
> 
> ...


But I don't want to be in a group, I want a group to be with me.I know it sounds shallow and dim witted, but it's the true.That's all I ever wanted.Everything that kept me going all these years is the thought of becoming someone great. Everyone told me I had potential, but I wasted it because I thought having potential was enough and everything else would just happen spontaneously.Till now I blamed things not happening on me not being good enough, but now I know I was wrong and I plan on starting to make things happen, no matter how self destructive my way may potentially be.I never really learned anything on other people's mistakes anyway, it's just isn't how my mind works.


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