# Sp Confessions, Vents, Rants, Purges



## Artorias (Oct 12, 2015)




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## voicetrocity (Mar 31, 2012)

Finds an old friend they haven't spoken to in ages on social media.

Decides against initiating contact. 

I'm still sorta/not really mulling it over in my head. This shouldn't be such acprocess; but it's been long enough that the awkward potential is huge.


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## Santa Gloss (Feb 23, 2015)

I was a little baffled that there wasn't a SP "confessions" thread, so I had to google it and find it. I wanted to spy on other SPs and see what they complain about :redface-new: But I totally get why it has barely any pages in comparison to the SX thread :biggrin:

Confession: I've been sick for almost half a year. I've fallen off the face of the earth (social media, social life, dating). It's easier to do that than to let people know. Wild animals in the forest don't post on facebook that they're sick/weak and that they need 1 million likes to make themselves feel better. Why should I? I'll be fine. :biggrin: I'm in a good mood most of the time, even when my body is hurting (perks of ennea 7!). I just need time to myself, so I can get better. Two close friends know and that's good enough. But now the whole internet knows :whoa:

I evaluated the consequences of losing my social life. (excluding those 2 close friends). 

Cons: one-sided conversations I'd rather skip, pressure to be someone more normal (drink more, be way too social, be less focused on my dreams + goals). Less spending. Less drama. If I lost those generic friendships, I'd literally feel nothing at this point. Yes. The cons list reads like pros!

Pros: Time to focus on what I want. No noise. Streamline my life. More time for self-reflection and habit-changing. 

This is my new status quo. And I'm liking it. A lot. :smile:


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## Echoe (Apr 23, 2012)

Necro'ing for later.


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## Echoe (Apr 23, 2012)

I never could decide whether I identified more with SO or SX for my second stacking. It's a little funny, because for the most, I identified pretty immediately and heavily with 9w1 and SP. Some people have a very hard time pinpointing their dominant-anythings.

Some users once made an instinct test -- my SO and SX scores were almost even, accept I scored like 1 point higher in SO. I scored higher in SO on the PerC instinct test too, if it still exists. However, when using "literature," I couldn't decide between the two instincts. 

Something else funny was that I read through a thread of SX-lasters discussing their attitudes and experiences, and much of it was bizarre to me. I think I sat there with this "o.0" look on my face. Read through a thread of mostly SX-doms talking about their attitudes and experiences, and they pretty much scared me lol. I'd think if I were SO-second, the posts in the former thread shouldn't have seem weird. And if I were SX-second, I shouldn't have been so disconcerted by the latter thread?

Sooo... I never chose a second instinct. I thought I didn't heavily favor one over the other.


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## Rose for a Heart (Nov 14, 2011)

Echoe said:


> Something else funny was that I read through a thread of SX-lasters discussing their attitudes and experiences, and much of it was bizarre to me. I think I sat there with this "o.0" look on my face. Read through a thread of mostly SX-doms talking about their attitudes and experiences, and they pretty much scared me lol. I'd think if I were SO-second, the posts in the former thread shouldn't have seem weird. And if I were SX-second, I shouldn't have been so disconcerted by the latter thread?


Can you point me to this "SX-lasters thread"? I am curious.


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## Echoe (Apr 23, 2012)

Rose for a Heart said:


> Can you point me to this "SX-lasters thread"? I am curious.



I briefly looked for it -- I actually found it (this thread was years ago!) and some other threads you might like:
http://personalitycafe.com/enneagra...sp-how-do-you-experience-sexual-instinct.html

http://personalitycafe.com/enneagra...um/493626-general-signs-sx-last-stacking.html 

http://personalitycafe.com/enneagram-personality-theory-forum/181642-sx-last-rants-3.html


The specific thread in question is the first on the list :kitteh:





Also, I think this is the SX-first thread (if anyone wants): http://personalitycafe.com/enneagra...orum/120805-you-know-youre-sx-dom-when-2.html

I was still like, "what the f---???" reading it, xD


-------------------------------
Homie, I wish you responded to texts faster. Maybe you're avoiding a response this time.


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

...Now I'm sad because this bedding (or whatever it's called) I have is starting to wear out. I really like said bedding, and idk if it's possible to buy a new one that looks exactly like it, because it's old (quite nostalgic). Thinking about this too much can easily get me into a spiral of despair, though, so...


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## Echoe (Apr 23, 2012)

Seemingly un-SP characteristics of mine:


Not germaphobic. While I'm health-conscious, I take gambles with sanitation because my immune system seems to be better than the average bear's. Whenever I get sick, it never seems to hit me as hard as others -- at worst, I usually get a low-grade fever that passes maybe within an hour, and also short-lived, baby versions of the illness' symptoms.

Kind of a slob. I don't like cleaning and I'm on the cluttered side too >_>.

I can be lackadaisical about minor pain. My finger tips have a high heat tolerance from several years of getting them in painfully hot/scalding water while doing dishes. And while I don't think I give my tongue lasting burns anymore, I still take bites/sips of overly-hot stuff.


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## Full_fathom_4 (Jan 23, 2018)

Echoe said:


> Seemingly un-SP characteristics of mine:


Haha.. those were funny. I personally refrain from door handles, I touch the door where I KNOW other people would never go through the trouble, or use the end of my shirt, but now we're talking nasty ass gas stations. (a function of my traveling often... occupational). And nothing gets my goat like a well used container of half/half at the coffee station. I only wish my shirt could reach that. Gross. You idiots are filthy, I've witnessed you touch your junk and walk out without hand soap/water. (well, not literally). It's for this reason I avoid buffets at any cost. So many spoons, too much time. 

But like anybody, my farts don't stink, yours' do, and pain... well that just makes me who I am. And I smite the eff'r who got me sick. Take your cold/flu to other more deserving folk. Bed's are for sleeping and sex. 

Just your garden variety Sp.


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## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

(_Almost_) shared something today.


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## Mr Castelo (May 28, 2017)

I'm fascinated by deadly diseases and unexpected tragedies just as much as I am scared of them.


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## 0+n*1 (Sep 20, 2013)

0+n*1 said:


> I am graduate, unemployed, 24 years old and still living with my parents. Even if I do my laundry, I help them with the dishes once in a while, they send me to buy groceries all the time and I don't ask them for money to do my stuff, I still eat the food they buy and prepare, I still use the water the pay for, the gas they pay for, the electricity they pay for, the internet they pay for, I live under the roof they own and I pass a lot of time locked in my room. I don't know what to say about this. I'm tired of feeling like this. I know it is my responsibility. I can try and say I feel like a parasite, or that I am not making enough effort to get out of here or that I'm starting to get irritable with them and they don't deserve it. I want to move out, to a bigger city, to care about everything I must, and to not care about anything that is unnecessary; I want to control my life. Complaining will accomplish nothing. At least the last month I've been more determined to get out of here, I've been sending applications for anything I meet the requirements for, attending every single call with a dash of enthusiasm that's partly real because it's my ticket out of here and partly faked because it doesn't excite me and that won't help me at all. I am starting to feel like I will take anything as long as it takes me there. I feel wrong. Just wrong. Any tangent leads to a line of thoughts that will make me feel like garbage. And I'm not jaded enough to simply stop caring and act like a souless body.
> 
> In my life I never thought I really cared about getting others' approval. I never thought I was making an effort to earn it. Now I realize that something so exaggerated like that must mean I do care and I'm just terrified of being rejected. And now I am aware of it. I worry now. Making a good impression, stuff like that. Now they mean something to me. I'm struggling. And I dislike I'm struggling for others.
> 
> ...


I was angsty back then. I'm in a better position now. Got a job, moved to a bigger city as I wanted. I am glad I stumbled upon this because it makes me see I'm moving forward.


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## Mr Castelo (May 28, 2017)

@0+n*1

Man, I hate feeling indebted to someone, even to my parents. I don't like receiving gifts for this very same reason, they often come with unspoken expectations, and even if they don't, I still don't like the feeling of using something that is, essentially, not mine. Depending on others is the worst, yet, I can't deny that it's an inevitable outcome. I wish I was an island.


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## 0+n*1 (Sep 20, 2013)

Mr Castelo said:


> Man, I hate feeling indebted to someone, even to my parents. I don't like receiving gifts for this very same reason, they often come with unspoken expectations, and even if they don't, I still don't like the feeling of using something that is, essentially, not mine. Depending on others is the worst, yet, I can't deny that it's an inevitable outcome. I wish I was an island.


I used to have a stronger reaction against it before. Maybe because I am more independent now. Generally I don't like being a burden or asking to much from others. I go out of my way to get what I need when it would've been easier if I just asked for it. I also don't like disturbing others but since others often obstruct or get in the way, I have learned to take extra steps to avoid being interfered or have taken alternative routes to get what I'm looking for. I feel very confident in providing me with the necessary, I feel resourceful, capable of thinking on my feet. I have accrued debt due to impulsive decisions, but I'm now working hard to get rid of it and have a clean start. Gifts don't really get me excited, I can live without them, but I don't think I have felt the expectation that comes along the gift, even if I'm aware it does.


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## misfortuneteller (Apr 4, 2015)

It can be tiring being a sp 9. We are known for being the extra slothful 9s and that is the case with me. I only seem to do things for comfort and I have gotten a bit misanthropic over the years. I'd often leave the house like twice a week until I have my life together which basically means me getting a job interview and actually a job for once. I try to avoid people cause I think that they'd affect my peace of mind. I want to be in my bubble and whenever I leave the house, i'm reminded why I rather staying in.


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## Breathing (Mar 9, 2018)

Was talking about careers and school and got the advice to "take a risk" and almost imploded


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## HigherFrequencyYou (Nov 22, 2013)

I'm just irked that all this has taken so long and is taking so long and never seems to get any easier but hopefully successful preservation is around the corner.


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## Mr Castelo (May 28, 2017)

There's no place like home, I plan my day around not leaving my house as much as possible. That being said, even at home I still feel intruded upon since I have to share my room with my two loud, extraverted brothers. I avoid them as much as I can because being around them for too long makes me really grumpy. They often think that I'm in a bad mood for no reason, but it's just a natural consequence of their presence. I feel great when I'm home alone.


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

Damn there was this song I was planning to listen to after finishing a couple of other songs, but I forgot which it is. So now my life will be incomplete until I remember.


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

SO made some soup and :frustrating: (I'm hungry) but when I try to talk to him he gets so angry. So I can't ask him about it, or about anything. So this is a fun situation I got myself into, but I can't really imagine a better life right now. And I guess I'd rather die here than go back.

(I mean I could make something else, but it would be a waste if it turns out I don't need to.)


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

Took a DISC test for work. Checking "strongly agree" on all the "are you positive/upbeat/optimistic" questions landed me in the Influence category.

The whole thing reads like an so-dom's wet dream. Large network of friends, loves connecting people, able to excite and influence gatherings of people, etc.


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