# Men lose their minds speaking to pretty women



## Happy (Oct 10, 2008)

The research shows men who spend even a few minutes in the company of an attractive woman perform less well in tests designed to measure brain function than those who chat to someone they do not find attractive. 



Researchers who carried out the study, published in the Journal of Experimental and Social Psychology, think the reason may be that men use up so much of their brain function or 'cognitive resources' trying to impress beautiful women, they have little left for other tasks. 



The findings have implications for the performance of men who flirt with women in the workplace, or even exam results in mixed-sex schools. 



Women, however, were not affected by chatting to a handsome man. 



This may be simply because men are programmed by evolution to think more about mating opportunities. 
Psychologists at Radboud University in The Netherlands carried out the study after one of them was so struck on impressing an attractive woman he had never met before, that he could not remember his address when she asked him where he lived. 



Researchers said it was as if he was so keen to make an impression he 'temporarily absorbed most of his cognitive resources.' 



To see if other men were affected in the same way, they recruited 40 male heterosexual students. 
Each one performed a standard memory test where they had to observe a stream of letters and say, as fast as possible, if each one was the same as the one before last. 



The volunteers then spent seven minutes chatting to male or female members of the research team before repeating the test. 



The results showed men were slower and less accurate after trying to impress the women. The more they fancied them, the worse their score. 



But when the task was repeated with a group of female volunteers, they did not get the same results. Memory scores stayed the same, whether they had chatted to a man or a woman. 



In a report on their findings the researchers said: 'We conclude men's cognitive functioning may temporarily decline after an interaction with an attractive woman.' 



Psychologist Dr George Fieldman, a member of the British Psychological Society, said the findings reflect the fact that men are programmed to think about ways to pass on their genes. 



'When a man meets a pretty woman, he is what we call 'reproductively focused'. 



'But a woman also looks for signs of other attributes, such as wealth, youth and kindness. Just the look of the man would be unlikely to have the same effect.' 





Men lose their minds speaking to pretty women - Telegraph


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## Spooky (Oct 30, 2008)

I agree with this, except I don't really care about passing on my genes. Scientists say that it's an evolutionary instinct, but I don't buy that. Creating offspring is the least of my ambitions when I'm flirting.


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## Verdant Hollow (Aug 25, 2009)

The BPS Report is beautiful 

However, I am interested in those few straight men that aren't affected or aren't affected as much, and what is different about them. Some the conclusions from that may be obvious (e.g. they have more beautiful friends, they think less of women, etc.) but you never know


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## Happy (Oct 10, 2008)

Well I'm currently dating so I don't have an issue with this.

It horrible to think that men are being stereotyped as sex hounds though. Girls however are stereotyped as materialist so its all even. :tongue:


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

I, also, want to know more about the ones whose test scores did not drop when given eye candy. If it is not because of a dislike for women, or anything negative, it might actually be a good sign that non-superficial men have the advantage in getting to reproduce. If a tendency to be superficial is, as many claim, inherent, maybe there is hope that natural selection may be gradually phasing it out by making the men who have this weakness appear noticeably stupid to the people they are trying to impress. As long as women seek competent men, this might be the key to eliminating the problem over time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Marino (Jun 26, 2009)

Yeah, this does not surprise me in the slightest. :crazy:



Shadow said:


> I agree with this, except I don't really care about passing on my genes. Scientists say that it's an evolutionary instinct, but I don't buy that. Creating offspring is the least of my ambitions when I'm flirting.


:frustrating:

You DO know that most, if not all, of the things we do are due to subconscious, gene-driven instincts, right?



snail said:


> If a tendency to be superficial is, as many claim, inherent, maybe there is hope that natural selection may be gradually phasing it out by making the men who have this weakness appear noticeably stupid to the people they are trying to impress.


There is no gene for judging mates based on physical appearance. It is an animal universal, it makes perfectly Evolutionary sense. Animals are attracted to the most fit mates and, most of the time, this means attractive and healthy. 

Do you call the female Birds of Paradise "stupid" for being attracted to attractive mates? Peacocks? I do not think this is stupidity at all. 










My Sociology class talked about this today, in fact. My teacher asked why all human cultures have the meme of "adornment" (hair styles, makeup, piercings, ect), and I stated that Evolutionary speaking, the most attractive mates are chosen for due to fitness. 

(In Biology, "Fit" describes the capability of an individual of certain genotype to reproduce, and usually is equal to the proportion of the individual's genes in all the genes of the next generation.)


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## Spooky (Oct 30, 2008)

Marino said:


> Yeah, this does not surprise me in the slightest. :crazy:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I know that's what we are told, but I find it amusing how all of these scientific studies make statements like "It's an evolutionary trait," when evolution has never been proven. It's still a theory, but they make references to it as though it's a proven fact.


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## Marino (Jun 26, 2009)

Shadow said:


> I know that's what we are told, but I find it amusing how all of these scientific studies make statements like "It's an evolutionary trait," when evolution has never been proven. It's still a theory, but they make references to it as though it's a proven fact.


Ok. As much as I want to teach you about the Scientific Method and correct your common misinterpretation of what a "theory" is in science, I will leave this be. If you are interested in learning, PM me. Otherwise, I will do the mature thing and let you have your.. beliefs. :happy:


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## rswear (Apr 3, 2009)

Bet if the women would have told the men they are really impressed by the guys who get the highest scores on the test and the top five would spend more time with the researchers, the test scores would have been higher.:happy:


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## Viktoria2 (Feb 15, 2009)

*Hahahahaha, poor guys. *:wink:


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## Harley (Jul 5, 2009)

Well that just sucks.
If I were a male, I would hate the idea of being dumbed down by something so superficial as beauty.
Oh evolution you are a cruel, cruel thing.


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## Marino (Jun 26, 2009)

shakalaka said:


> Well that just sucks.
> If I were a male, I would hate the idea of being dumbed down by something so superficial as beauty.
> Oh evolution you are a cruel, cruel thing.


It is not exclusive to males, you know. :crazy:


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

Sure, females seem similarly predisposed to seek out males who display evidence of being able to provide security. I'm not an exception, although I seek emotional security above all other forms. Lance was right to compare male superficiality with female materialism.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Harley (Jul 5, 2009)

Marino said:


> It is not exclusive to males, you know. :crazy:


Well I meant in _general_.
I've met my fair share of bimbos too y'know.:wink:


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## Jack Rabid (Aug 6, 2009)

Lance said:


> The research shows men who spend even a few minutes in the company of an attractive woman perform less well in tests designed to measure brain function than those who chat to someone they do not find attractive.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 This might be true in a general sense...

But I would think I prosper in the company of beautiful women, as my history has shown me..

Distracting?? How about inspiring or motivating?? 

Impress them, is what I say.. and that usually starts with ignoring them


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## Spooky (Oct 30, 2008)

Jack Rabid said:


> Impress them, is what I say.. and that usually starts with ignoring them


+1

"Hear, hear!" 

Women are fickle creatures.


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## SUPERJERKASS (Aug 29, 2009)

I definitely become slightly retarded talking to any(beautiful or not(by society standard)) woman the first time i meet them i say alot of dumb shit they way it is so on top of trying to not to be a Tard my cognitive function goes to shit real fast trying to impress the ladies . I fail pretty fast but in most cases in my complete failure females still seem to respond in good way. as for the test stuff i can totally see that.


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## Harley (Jul 5, 2009)

Re-reading this, just reminded me of that epi. of South Park where Bebe got boobs, and all the boys started to act like cavemen around her.
Again, evolution is a cruel thing :crazy:.


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## knght990 (Jul 28, 2009)

I get woman stupid, but i have to find them attractive, physical beauty is one of many factors but in and of itself not enough for me to become lost.
.


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## WickedQueen (Jun 1, 2009)

I'm glad I'm a materialistic person.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

Rouge said:


> Natural selection is a b****, isn't it? How nice it'd be to have the freedom the choose without heeding all these biological imperatives.


That's the only thing that stops me from being a full on mysogynist. The fact that I'm genetically damaged is why women don't like me. I have very mild autism (AS) ADHD, nonverbal learning disability, fine motor challenges, and despise stability for stability's sake.


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## 1057 (Apr 9, 2009)

mortabunt said:


> That's the only thing that stops me from being a full on mysogynist. The fact that I'm genetically damaged is why women don't like me. I have very mild autism (AS) ADHD, nonverbal learning disability, fine motor challenges, and despise stability for stability's sake.


after reading some of your posts, i think it's safe to say you're gonna be a basement-dweller well into your 40s.


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## Lucretius (Sep 10, 2009)

Regan said:


> after reading some of your posts, i think it's safe to say you're gonna be a basement-dweller well into your 40's.


Such an age-old insult, and yet it still cuts pretty deeply. *sigh*


Mortablunt, I hope you will open your mind a little, or you will fulfill your own prophecy.


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## Harley (Jul 5, 2009)

Rouge said:


> Natural selection is a b****, isn't it? How nice it'd be to have the freedom the choose without heeding all these biological imperatives.


Transcend, and overcome.
We are still bound to certain instincts that nature installed in us, but they do not have to define us beyond anything in a physical sense.


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## 1057 (Apr 9, 2009)

Azrael said:


> Such an age-old insult, and yet it still cuts pretty deeply. *sigh*
> 
> 
> Mortablunt, I hope you will open your mind a little, or you will fulfill your own prophecy.


i didn't mean it in a nasty way .. just the way he describes himself ..


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## Loke (Aug 10, 2009)

Rouge said:


> To the men, women may seem materialistic for picking the accountant. But we're biologically wired to seek stability. We're thinking ahead for the children we'd like to have. Without stability, we won't have the resources to bring them up. That's why women also have more to lose when they flirt with the pool boy. We not only lose a mate but also the family life we value.


Nah, the materialism doens't bother me at all. What bother me is that I so often hear young men asking their female friends how they want their men, and they tell them to be accountants. Which is great advice, if you want to be a basement dweller into your 40s 



shakalaka said:


> Transcend, and overcome.
> We are still bound to certain instincts that nature installed in us, but they do not have to define us beyond anything in a physical sense.


Why? I say embrace your destiny. Do what feels good.


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## Harley (Jul 5, 2009)

Loke said:


> Why? I say embrace your destiny. Do what feels good.


But some of us don't want to follow what is prescribed to us.
What feels good to me isn't looking for a mate and creating offspring even though I am biologically fit to do so, and according to evolutionary theory is what I am supposed to do.
My destiny is made by the choices I make to navigate uncontrollable circumstances that I face in my life everyday.
I choose to seek something beyond the pre-prescribed destiny given to me because I can.


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## Loke (Aug 10, 2009)

mortabunt said:


> Surround me with ugly chicks at school! I'm half serious and half joking. I want to be surrounded by fuglies (INTP brutality showing here) so that I'd do better. BUt I'd like to be surrounded by babes so I'd have nice scenery to look at, and maybe touch once a year (homecomming dance is my favorate event of the year because I am allowed to hold girls and feel their warmth. All other times of the year, I like in deathly cold. My heart is freezing.)


:shocked:

How old are you? Cause assuming you don't smell (which I guess someone with both AS and ADHD might do, lol), touching shouldn't be a problem. You just need to do it in a non-creepy manner, and right now, you're radiating "creepy". Being insecure and nervous and at the same time only caring about their bodies, not their minds, is creepy. Being confident but only caring about their bodies will make you sleazy (but works good enough for drunk girls). Being insecure while not focusing just on their bodies might make you seem like a whimp. Being confident while not just focusing on their bodies will make you popular. 

What you need to radiate is that you're interested in people. I think you should stop thinking about hot and not so hot girls, hell, you shouldn't even think about girls and men, just think about people. See, if you mostly spend your days alone in a corner, and only walk up to someone when it's a hot girl, you're just screaming "I WANT YOUR ASS!". Which is creepy or sleazy depending on how confidently you do it. On the other hand, if you say "hey, hows it going?" to everyone, it's not gonna be one bit weird when you do it to a hot girl. If you can make people smile every time you talk to them, they'll even like you.

When you have lots of people liking you, you'll notice that some decent girls will actually crave for your attention. They'll see you talking to that hot girl like it was nothing, just like you do to everyone. So they'll think you're a good catch. You won't have to touch them, they'll take your hand and put it on their ass 

Anyway, I'm simplyfying a complex and life long process which I myself haven't perfected... But my point is, you're heading down the wrong alley. And don't blame it on being INTP, I know several popular INTPs. Life aint easy even for extroverts, and if you keep falling, perhaps you just need to take smaller steps. Make friends. Make friends with their friends. Smile at someone you meet often. Don't be bitter.


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## Rouge (Sep 6, 2009)

Loke said:


> Nah, the materialism doens't bother me at all. What bother me is that I so often hear young men asking their female friends how they want their men, and they tell them to be accountants. Which is great advice, if you want to be a basement dweller into your 40s


Nah, why live life according to how people would like you to? At the end of the day, it's your life and it's yourself that you have to please. I've always believed that when you find something you enjoy doing, the money (and women) will follow. That's what I call the rock star attitude- and you don't have to be in a band to have it :laughing:


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## Marino (Jun 26, 2009)

Azrael said:


> Natural selection may hold up as a theory, but universal common descent does not. Just to be clear. :bored:


I LOL'ed. :happy:

Reminds me of:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8asQkegV_wk


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## Lucretius (Sep 10, 2009)

Marino said:


> I LOL'ed. :happy:
> 
> Reminds me of:
> 
> YouTube - Evolution Explained: South Park Exposes Stupidity Of Creationists


ROFL great video...

However if I reminded you of this at all, you're clearly underestimating and insulting my intelligence. Frankly, you're in no position to do that. :bored:

If you would like to have a debate, let's go. If you want to have a fight, find someone else. :wink:


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## Marino (Jun 26, 2009)

I want neither. I do not think you have anything to offer me. I just thought your comment was comical.

PS, AWESOME avatar. Do you have the full sized picture? :happy:

/takes thread and puts it back on its track.


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## Lucretius (Sep 10, 2009)

Marino said:


> I want neither. I do not think you have anything to offer me.


We'll see. :wink:



Marino said:


> I just thought your comment was comical.


"Wit is educated insolence." - Aristotle



Marino said:


> PS, AWESOME avatar. Do you have the full sized picture? :happy:


Thank you! I love it. roud:


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## jochris (Jul 18, 2009)

Even very INT men can be manipulated by sex. :wink:


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## Jack Rabid (Aug 6, 2009)

jochris said:


> Even very INT men can be manipulated by sex. :wink:


This is very true indeed!!


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

Loke said:


> :shocked:
> 
> How old are you? Cause assuming you don't smell (which I guess someone with both AS and ADHD might do, lol), touching shouldn't be a problem. You just need to do it in a non-creepy manner, and right now, you're radiating "creepy". Being insecure and nervous and at the same time only caring about their bodies, not their minds, is creepy. Being confident but only caring about their bodies will make you sleazy (but works good enough for drunk girls). Being insecure while not focusing just on their bodies might make you seem like a whimp. Being confident while not just focusing on their bodies will make you popular.
> 
> ...


I'm 16. I hate my peers. I absolutely cannot bring myself to get down with them. I lack the ability to lwt go and chat around. From what I've gathered, I'm friend material, but not boyfriend material.


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## slowriot (Nov 11, 2008)

mortabunt said:


> I'm 16. I hate my peers. I absolutely cannot bring myself to get down with them. I lack the ability to lwt go and chat around. From what I've gathered, I'm friend material, but not boyfriend material.


Im sorry you dont feel you fit in. Ive had many friends that I dont consider equals but I like them for the time we spent together and the help theyve given me, the time shared. Now we dont have much to talk about they live a different life raising their children but we still have the memories. What Im trying to say is dont cut people off because they dont measure up to your standards, you'll almost always be disappointed that way. Try and stay openminded to the people around you, maybe those around you can teach you things you never thought about. Be cynical at the right times and positive at the right times. People you might hate now can maybe be your enabler to seeing the world in a different way. Im not saying spread it all around, do it in your own way just dont dismiss other people just because they dont fit your ideals. Rub off them and theyll rub off you.

I had two friends that shared an appartment they where estj and esxp and eventhough they might not be rocket scientists, actually they where not, I loved them for what they gave me. I have the deepest respect for their will to do better eventhough they clearly were not cut out for it. I wish I had their drive right now.

You can learn many things from different people, remember that.

And the only way to get out there and reach other people is by trying, nothing is given to you. You have to do the effort, if the convo dont interest you then turn it into what you want it to be according to the people around you "potential" ofcourse. Just dont be too cynical about other people, the only one you are hurting is yourself. Take responsibility for what is yours and what you can do to do better and put responsibility on those that deserve it if its out of your hands.


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## Loke (Aug 10, 2009)

mortabunt said:


> I'm 16. I hate my peers. I absolutely cannot bring myself to get down with them. I lack the ability to lwt go and chat around. From what I've gathered, I'm friend material, but not boyfriend material.


Then you're probably at the most difficult time of your life socially.

You need to stop hating your peers and find peers you don't hate. Put on a facade and pretend to like people, meet a lot of people, and stick with the ones you hate less. There are undoubtably people out there you'll get along with, but if you go around hating everyone, you'll never meet them.

You also need to realize your own weaknesses and value people, not for being like you, but for having different sets of skills than you. My ESFP friend might hate any dept in conversations, but if I'm ever desperate, it takes him a few hours to throw a party with like 10 hot single girls as if it was the playboy mansion. Stuff like that helps, no matter how stupid he might be. 

If you lack the ability to chat around, then learn it. As I said, small, small steps. Being ever so slightly more social and making the occational new friend will be useful. 

As for friend vs boyfriend material... You know, you'll find a lot of guys on the internet claiming that once you've become friends with a girl, you'll never have sex with her. That's just BS. In most friendships I've had with girls, there have been sexual vibes. I'm currently really struggling to get a girlfriend, so I can't really give you any advice there, but that's not the same as not getting any attention from girls: I do. With that said, being friend material rather than boyfriend material isn't a bad thing, especially not at 16. But before you can be either boyfriend or friend with benefits, you need to prove yourself socially. You need to have many different friends. You need to be DESIRABLE as a friend. One thing I've learned is actually that you can't fuck a girl unless you're friends with the friends she's brought along. So you need to be somone girls WANT to be friends with, not just someone they can be friends with because they pity you or like that you rarely object or whatever.

Anyway, things will get better, I can guarantee you that. How much better depends on you. Maybe you're genetically disadvantaged and maybe you're starting out from a really low point. Maybe you'll never screw a model or have a threesome. But you clearly have choise between living a life of many different, interesting mistakes, encounters and experiences OR living in your parents basement till you're 40 and then importing a woman from russia.


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## Rouge (Sep 6, 2009)

mortabunt, I totally relate. I started out as an INTJ. In my teenage years, I was a social outcast. I was fugly, I had low self-esteem, I didn't have friends, I didn't know how to make any and I despised everyone for being stupid and unable to appreciate me for what I had to offer. Guys were mortified when they suspected I could be attracted to them and distanced themselves away from me immediately- that really cut, even now.

But life is what you make of it. At 19, I decided to do something about myself. I ditched my thick glasses, grew out my hair, put on some flattering clothes and learned how to walk in heels. I even tried to learn how to smile *chuckles* People started treating me more nicely afterwards. I had a boyfriend for the first time at this age but I wished I waited. I got into a relationship with my first ex because I was curious how being in a relationship would be like. But I wasn't in love with him at all. I didn't know what love was until I was 23. 

What I'm trying to say is.... you're not alone. 16 is a difficult age. You're NOT a failure for not having friends or a girlfriend. There's no point in being in a relationship for the sake of being in one anyway. But _life is what you make out of it- _and you've got to start pulling yourself out of the gutter.

I'm not exactly a huge success in life but if my life can change for the better, so can yours. Chin up my dear. If you can make the effort to meet people halfway, you will find that you'd be more than amply rewarded.


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## The Proof (Aug 5, 2009)

jochris said:


> Even very INT men can be manipulated by sex. :wink:


yes, as often as possible roud:


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## Oldlady (Sep 18, 2009)

THEORY

When men talked to women, there was a cognitive shift.
When women talked to men, there was no cognitive shift.
Scientists theorized that men experienced a cognitive shift because they were trying to please women, while women did not experience a cognitive shift because they were not trying to please men.

Theory: Women do not experience a cognitive shift in thinking because they are ALWAYS trying to please men (and other women).
If we are to believe stereotypes, women are hypersensitive to how others perceive them and often attempt to change themselves in order to gain approval.


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## Lucretius (Sep 10, 2009)

That seems like a plausible idea. Good point. :wink:


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## Deagalman (Jul 3, 2009)

MyLittleBlackHeart said:


> Who cares what they look like (as long as they are attractive to ME)...........however, INTELLIGENCE & INTEGRITY makes me swoon like a 16 yo girl..........geesh.


How old are you? In the words of Dennis Hopper, "I don't believe you."


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

As far as I can tell, this doesn't affect me at all. I think it's because I don't really think about sex that often.


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