# Constant feeling of loneliness and I don't know why



## SharkT00th (Sep 5, 2012)

I have a constant feeling of loneliness and I dont know why. I feel as if I am empty inside and nothing seems to charge me, being with friends/acquaintances/meeting new people does very little if not drain me. The same can be said about solitude and being alone as well it does not charge me (but interesting enough does not really drain me). I must say that the strange sensations though are more prevalent when I am alone but with friends I feel distracted and it begins to go away but for a while. I also feel a sense of having no passion, that there is nothing that gets me up consistently imagine waking up ready to go for weeks feeling pumped, just for a few weeks later to wake up feeling nothing and wishing to go back to sleep. I also wake up in the morning with more energy, I do feel like doing things (I know this may seem contradictory but once I'm up I do feel a bit of a jolt) just for my energy to deplete half way through the day and once again the feelings of loneliness/emptiness returns. 

I'm wondering what this is, I have no idea what this is in the first place, I get the feeling I may just forget about it throughout the day only to be reminded somehow later. I'm wondering if anyone has also gone through something similar and has found a way to deal with this. 

All input is appreciated.


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## Razare (Apr 21, 2009)

Whenever I feel alone, I have to remind myself that God is with me.

As for feeling alone around other people, that is perplexing. If you were an INFJ, this would make perfect sense as this is how we usually feel as a matter of regularity. It's not normal for ENTP's, as far as I know.

I can wake up with energy too, it then depletes to zero at about 11 AM, stays low, until about midnight. Midnight to 4 AM, I am most awake... which is when I should be asleep, so that's very confusing. If I keep a normal schedule, then early morning is when I am most awake too... and then I could go to bed at 10PM tired.

When we get tired, our thoughts easily go dark, but this sounds like something different.


Maybe your dreams are really amazing, and you're still pumped from them upon waking, but then it leaves you mid-day... and you're in this reality living it, which sucks very much, I agree.

I enjoy dreamworlds much more than this one.


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## Dark Romantic (Dec 27, 2011)

@SharkT00th: Well, dude, I wanted to post to say that I get where you're coming from, and it's not something weird or something you need to worry about, though it can be kind of a bitch to deal with. There are a few things I can suggest for you that worked pretty well for me.

1. Make a list of everything that you don't like about your life right now, brainstorm solutions, and consistently act toward getting through that list. This will have the effect of both giving you something to focus on, and actively improving your life. Once you start to feel the power you have over your problems, you'll instantly start feeling a lot better and quite motivated. Real problems, real action on your part, and a tangible benefit to your life that'll work for you in the long run will go a long way towards improving your mood.

2. Introspect and think about what you really want and why you feel unsatisfied. A persistent bad mood means that something is out of whack- could be a sense that you just aren't doing what you should be doing, and it's making you unhappy. The solution might lie in a missed opportunity, or some other action that you wanted to take but, for some reason, didn't. Look for sources of happiness that you haven't partaken in for a while- it might be a sign that you've been chasing things that are inconsequential to you for too long.

3. Pick a random whim and run with it. You might be getting bummed out because you've been stuck doing the same thing for too long- mix it up by going where the wind takes you for one day. Even if nothing happens, the movement, change of scenery, and random impulse chasing will improve your mood.

4. Throw on some headphones and look for old favorites you haven't heard in a while. Relax, and let your mind wander. Sometimes, the simple things are the best.

5. Go out, meet a girl in your social network, and have a really deep conversation. You don't have to hook up with her if you don't want to (though by all means, go for it if you do), but you'll definitely feel a lot better from the conversation alone. Getting laid will obviously make you feel good in the short term (and if that's what was bothering you, in the long run as well), but the conversation will have a more soothing effect in the longer term, though you have to do it in person for the full effect, naturally. You can also talk to one of your bros, but it won't be the same- there's a much different, more natural dynamic and vibe at play when you're sitting with and having a good convo with a girl (or girls; this can work with multiple girls) that changes when you're relaxing with a guy friend. Sometimes what's needed is a bit of connection. If you want a quick shortcut, you and them should pop some mollies- it'll open up the empathic connection you feel with other people and make opening up that much easier.

Whatever option you pick, good luck.


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## Vianna (Jul 28, 2012)

I feel exactly the same way as you do. The problem is I don't have a soulution for this problem too. I guess theese are just periods, the only thing that helps me, when I feel like that is when I say to myself...Don't worry, it will go away, you will feel fine again, than it will come back, but it doesn't metter, because nothing last forver, everything change...


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## superbundle (Nov 29, 2012)

SharkT00th said:


> I have a constant feeling of loneliness and I dont know why. I feel as if I am empty inside and nothing seems to charge me, being with friends/acquaintances/meeting new people does very little if not drain me. The same can be said about solitude and being alone as well it does not charge me (but interesting enough does not really drain me). I must say that the strange sensations though are more prevalent when I am alone but with friends I feel distracted and it begins to go away but for a while. I also feel a sense of having no passion, that there is nothing that gets me up consistently imagine waking up ready to go for weeks feeling pumped, just for a few weeks later to wake up feeling nothing and wishing to go back to sleep. I also wake up in the morning with more energy, I do feel like doing things (I know this may seem contradictory but once I'm up I do feel a bit of a jolt) just for my energy to deplete half way through the day and once again the feelings of loneliness/emptiness returns.
> 
> I'm wondering what this is, I have no idea what this is in the first place, I get the feeling I may just forget about it throughout the day only to be reminded somehow later. I'm wondering if anyone has also gone through something similar and has found a way to deal with this.
> 
> All input is appreciated.



Yes I've gone through this. 
Is it the feeling of-- drifting through life? Living though not really Living?

How I got out of it.. realizing that ignoring my problems will not disappear unless I confront it head on. 

The thing was, I didn't *feel like I had any problems. That's because I was distracting myself from the pain it caused. 

It took nightmares, my mentally disordered mother, and the demands of real life responsibilities that eventually drove me to the wall, making me-- to put it in short, I was living in hell and I was broken-- forced to pick up my own remains if I wanted to Live. 

What was the hardest thing? Accepting the fact that _I'm not okay_. 

How I dealt with it, will be different from how you will deal with yours. Not because we both possibly felt different things or anything of that sort, but because we are all need specifically different things. 

I read many self help websites, typing into google: "how to overcome fears" (but this was because I had confidence over my ability to get myself out of the rut, I didn't have anyone I could trust with my life.) Eventually it led me to MBTI and Enneagram. But so much mistyping happens that for my case, it didn't help. So relying solely on this to discover myself was not a good idea. 

What has worked, and I believe will work for everyone: Relaxing. Taking a walk in the park, Meditating, Spending any time in solitude to simply _just be_. 

Now, what feelings arise? 

(From one book I used a model that helped, so I'll share that with you, adding my own personal touches
Pinpoint it - What is the feeling?
Own it - Acknowledge it is a part of you, there's no good or bad feeling, it just makes you human, accept it, we're imperfect.
Work it through - Where did it come from? Why? When did it start? How?; think of events in your life, major and minor, anything that evoked emotions from you (our environment shapes us, whether we choose to see it or not)
Explore it - Consider what you can you do about it; when there's a will, theres a way
Rein it in - Establish how to create a balance and control

Try Self Awareness techniques/Spirituality.

Keep moving forward. You're going to get out of this. We all will feel this way sometime in our lives. For now, focus on what you want to get out of this. 

Ask yourself, Why did you create this thread? What did you want from creating this thread? You must want something. That's your desire. And that desire won't disappear. Don't forget it. Because this life is for you. You're Living for Your sake. 
Find yourself, and make your life. But not without the help of a few great people in our lives. (I would encourage you to open up to the one's you trust. If you can't find them, you're looking at the wrong place.)


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## Up and Away (Mar 5, 2011)

Create a match dot com profile.

Put the intro paragraph you write about yourself in here so I can critique it.


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## yet another intj (Feb 10, 2013)

You have to learn to love yourself. I know it sounds very cheesy and nonsense but you will hopefully understand what I mean before it's too late. I think nobody can teach anybody to how to love himself/herself. Just be sure that you are not limiting yourself and keep your eyes open for anything and everything different than your current perspective.


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## Adrift (Apr 5, 2011)

I just finished a book about a doctor who experienced something similar only it wasn't loneliness; it was sadness. He described the situation as having a fragmented soul. He had been given up for adoption as a baby and the question of "why?" bothered him even in his 50s; until was able to get that question answered, he was never at peace.


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