# I don't like my uncle.



## BooksandButterflies (Jul 26, 2012)

*I know that sounds awful. I feel badly about it. But I can't help it. He has serious mental issues, which I realize he can't help. I stay away from him as much as possible, but with the holidays coming, I won't be able to. I don't like games, or being fake, but I just paste a smile on my face and get on as best as I can.
Here's my issues: He is very, very critical of my Mother (his sister.) He puts down her cooking and her decorating choices. My mom's a great cook and she's an SP for heaven's sake! We all know how artistic they are! He also seems to have a "thing" for little girls!*:angry:* It's just the way he talks about them. It's creepy! He went on and on about my cousin's fifteen year old girlfriend. Gross! The man is sixty-four!
Also, he stares at me. I am so uncomfortable! I don't want to create trouble in the family, so of course, I'll be welcoming and all that. Has anyone else had any experience like this? Any advice?*


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## BradyNotTachy (Oct 24, 2012)

PinkPizazz said:


> *I know that sounds awful. I feel badly about it. But I can't help it. He has serious mental issues, which I realize he can't help. I stay away from him as much as possible, but with the holidays coming, I won't be able to. I don't like games, or being fake, but I just paste a smile on my face and get on as best as I can.
> Here's my issues: He is very, very critical of my Mother (his sister.) He puts down her cooking and her decorating choices. My mom's a great cook and she's an SP for heaven's sake! We all know how artistic they are! He also seems to have a "thing" for little girls!*:angry:* It's just the way he talks about them. It's creepy! He went on and on about my cousin's fifteen year old girlfriend. Gross! The man is sixty-four!
> Also, he stares at me. I am so uncomfortable! I don't want to create trouble in the family, so of course, I'll be welcoming and all that. Has anyone else had any experience like this? Any advice?*


I don't have any advise to offer specifically because I go to great lengths to get along with just about everybody. I can understand the frustration and being uncomfortable around someone like that, especially a family member, though. Have you discussed this with your mom at all? Maybe she'd be able to help you out somehow. Unfortunately I don't have a great answer to solve your problem, but I'll keep this in my mind and my thoughts are with you. Hope someone comes along with a helpful answer!


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## BooksandButterflies (Jul 26, 2012)

*Yeah, I have talked to Mom about it. She understands, but she also feels a duty to her brother. I get that, I respect her for it. I could never stand in the way of our family being together. 
Thanks for your kind words!*:happy:


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## WindowLicker (Aug 3, 2010)

I don't know how to say this, but you need to set a boundry. there. It was easy to say that to you actually even though you seem to want to do otherwise. 
Uncle, brother, or not. It is your duty as the family member to say something and have it actually mean something. We've all been in situations where people are innappropriate, and don't know what to say or do. But saying something like "you need to stop, now." or "You're being innappropriate." will make him stop, and consider what hes actually saying. You don't have to outright yell, but what are you so afraid of happening? That he'll leave? Maybe he should then if he doesn't care how uncomfortable he is making his neice and sister, as well as many others. The worst thing you could possibly do is pretend its ok when you know its not. If he adjusts his attitude maybe you could enjoy a holiday for once.

Also if he criticizes the food tell him "if you don't like the food, my mom just wont cook for you." He'll go ooohh okaay then he'll calm down.


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## Falling Leaves (Aug 18, 2011)

I find a tactically placed sedative in his drink may help matters.


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## Ramysa (Mar 22, 2012)

Now I don't like your uncle either. This ppl totally freak me out. Unfortunately I know a couple.


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## nakkinaama (Jun 20, 2012)

What a creep


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## Bear987 (May 13, 2012)

From what you wrote, I don't like your uncle either! Maybe he can change into a nice person, but maybe he needs a reason why.

As for the way he treats your mother: those dynamics might spring from the way they related to each other when were kids.

I think it is weird you guys have him over for the holidays. Why not invite awesome people only?


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## BooksandButterflies (Jul 26, 2012)

Bear987 said:


> From what you wrote, I don't like your uncle either! Maybe he can change into a nice person, but maybe he needs a reason why.
> 
> As for the way he treats your mother: those dynamics might spring from the way they related to each other when were kids.
> 
> I think it is weird you guys have him over for the holidays. Why not invite awesome people only?


*lol! Yeah, I know. I think my Mom and her sister feel a responsibility to him and to their 86 year old mother. My Grandma sets great store by her sons, and would likely be upset were he not there. I think that's their reasoning.*


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## Super Awesome (Jul 11, 2011)

I'd pull him aside and say, "I know you're a fucking creep, so don't pull any shit."


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