# Shy extrovert vs. Friendly introvert?



## Rosabelle (Oct 13, 2013)

Hi, I'm not really good with introductions so I'll get to the point (ironic for an xNFP type 5w4, no?)

I don't really know whether I'm an introvert or an extrovert because lately I've been cracking up jokes out of nowhere and making the class laugh, I put on a cheery-happy mask of enthusiasm, and I can be friendly with people *if* I know what to say. It's like I have a defense mechanism that has a default choice of words (I crack jokes up to forget about my embarrassment). But I can't really say what I directly feel. No one really knows what I think, not because I don't want to but because I can't. And when I do try to speak up my mind, it's like they downplay things. And in my head, I'll be like, "Oh yeah, people don't have time to think about life and feelings." 

I'm also a hermit. I need the weekend for myself, locked up in my room. I hate going outside because I feel like "Oh god, people can see me." 

But I also like meeting people at clubs, but I don't like keeping them too close. (Maybe it's because I'm looking for a boyfriend? :tongue And I recite a lot in class because it's the only time I can talk about philosophy (English and literature, local language classes, ya know.) But I'm not hesitant to help suicidal people/people in need. 

I really neeeeeeeeed someone to tell me if I'm an I or E because the "not-belonging-in-an MBTI-type" feeling is driving me nuts!  Pretty please?


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## DeadlyRefridgerator (Jun 4, 2013)

I don't think being shy or outgoing has much to do with being an extrovert or introvert, Around most people I'm very outgoing and casual, no one would ever think of me as an introvert but in reality I'm very different when I'm alone, when I'm alone I'm quite sentimental and serious but when I'm around other people I'm more joking and casual, still misanthropic and cynical as hell but I'm more "friendly" in a way.

You seem like more of an introvert based on the fact that you prefer to stay home, and I can relate to you fairly well in several aspects.


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## RentalBlackout (Aug 28, 2013)

DeadlyRefridgerator said:


> I don't think being shy or outgoing has much to do with being an extrovert or introvert, Around most people I'm very outgoing and casual, no one would ever think of me as an introvert but in reality I'm very different when I'm alone, when I'm alone I'm quite sentimental and serious but when I'm around other people I'm more joking and casual, still misanthropic and cynical as hell but I'm more "friendly" in a way.
> 
> You seem like more of an introvert based on the fact that you prefer to stay home, and I can relate to you fairly well in several aspects.


Yep pretty much what he said, though you're not necessarily introverted(but it's certainly possible). Shy extroverts and friendly introverts are definitely not uncommon. It's important to know that in MBTI Introversion/Extroversion doesn't refer to how socially introverted or extroverted you are, it's how you gain energy, inwards or outwards.

Most of the time(keyword; most) it does translate to how you are socially but especially for people who use Ne often, it's not necessarily so. Reason being that while Se and Fe and Te are obviously interacting with the outside world, it's quite difficult to see this in Ne because it's more abstract. Seeing connections and possibilities? That doesn't really sound extroverted doesn't it? Fe would be the most obvious in this regard, Se and Te is pretty similar in this(indirectly a lot of things that require Se and Te contain socializing), while Ne is the most difficult to see.

That's why some ENTPs and ENFPs often think they're introverted, because they are, in terms of social introversion. So if you really want to know whether you're an I or E, ask yourself whether you feel energized by the external world rather than the internal world.

If you really wanna go deep into it, the reason being is that ENFPs have the function order of *Ne*-Fi-*Te*-Si while INFPs have *Fi*-Ne-*Si*-Te.

Notice that ENFPs have two extroverted functions in the top three functions while INFPs have two introverted functions. Other than the fact that Ne is secondary in INFP compared to primary in ENFP(more energy for ENFPs); due to Te being inferior for an INFP, they would feel more drained by outside interactions involving Te rather than ENFPs, while the reverse is true for Si.

So another way of finding out what you feel inferior in, since usually the top two functions' order is hard to identify.
http://personalitycafe.com/enfp-articles/76803-recognizing-inferior-function-enfps.html
http://personalitycafe.com/infp-articles/76770-recognizing-inferior-function-ifps.html

Honestly from what you've said alone I'm not sure what you are, because both ENFPs and INFPs can seem that way haha


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## Serpent (Aug 6, 2015)

Here's something I've noticed that might differentiate Introverts and Extroverts.

When you're conversing with a close friend alone, how do you feel? And, if someone else (stranger or friend) suddenly barges into the scene, what's your reaction?

If you initially feel anxious or awkward (unless the other guy happens to be shy or reclusive) and welcome the person's inclusion, you might just be an extrovert. If you initially feel comfortable and confident and get irritated by the person's inclusion, you might be just be an introvert.

Like RentalBlackout said, it's fairly customary for ENxPs to be social introverts or be mistaken for one. During early adolescence, when people really start caring about nonsense like swag and yolo, ENxPs are oftentimes ridiculed or even victimized in high school because of their eccentricities. This discourages them from social activity and can even make them apprehensive about the concept of socialization. 
Hopefully, with the spread of memes and stuff on the internet (which is probably dominated by NPs), people are becoming more accustomed to our Ne awesomeness!

It's a common misconception that an extrovert always thrives in company. You will observe that most extroverts tend to become standoff-ish and closed-off in one-on-one interactions. They want company. They want background noise. I'm a clear extrovert (although, a socially anxious one, thus making me fallaciously assume that I'm an introvert for a long time). When I'm alone in my humble abode, I'm often compelled to switch on the television or play a random video on Youtube, just to feel as if I'm in company.


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## Pancreatic Pandora (Aug 16, 2013)

You should check your energy levels. Introverts are typically drained by stimulation while extroverts are energized by it overtime. If you are in a party compare your energy to other people's and see if yours is on par, wether it decreases or remains stable throughout the night and how it was before arriving (taking into account any other things that may be affecting you physically like lack of sleep, food, etc.). If you want a further read: The Science of What Makes an Introvert and an Extrovert
Also, take into account that there's varying levels of extroversion and introversion among each group so you are going to find some people that will seem more extreme than yourself.


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## Seosamh O Roibin (Jan 12, 2014)

*o*I don't really know whether I'm an introvert or an extrovert because lately I've been cracking up jokes out of nowhere and making the class laugh._Well, This actually sounds similar to myself, I am known for having a good sense of humour and being extremely intelligent at the same time but usually I prefer to keep to myself when possible, Having a sense of humour is nothing to do with being an introvert/extrovert _
I put on a cheery-happy mask of enthusiasm, and I can be friendly with people if I know what to say. It's like I have a defense mechanism that has a default choice of words (I crack jokes up to forget about my embarrassment). 
_Ok, Well, perhaps you are an introvert with people skills even if you believe they are subdued_But I can't really say what I directly feel. No one really knows what I think, not because I don't want to but because I can't. And when I do try to speak up my mind, it's like they downplay things. And in my head, I'll be like, "Oh yeah, people don't have time to think about life and feelings."
_Yes this does sound very introverted_
I'm also a hermit. I need the weekend for myself, locked up in my room. I hate going outside because I feel like "Oh god, people can see me."_Thats like me ,_

But I also like meeting people at clubs, but I don't like keeping them too close. (Maybe it's because I'm looking for a boyfriend? ) And I recite a lot in class because it's the only time I can talk about philosophy (English and literature, local language classes, ya know.) But I'm not hesitant to help suicidal people/people in need._Ok, Here is my conclusion from your posts, you are most definetly an introvert, however you can have extroverted tendencies when you desire them, I am also a frequent speaker in classes and that does not make me an extrovert, the helping people in need probably comes from your F in INFP_


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## FluffyTheAnarchist (Sep 9, 2013)

Rosinbelle said:


> Hi, I'm not really good with introductions so I'll get to the point (ironic for an xNFP type 5w4, no?)
> 
> I don't really know whether I'm an introvert or an extrovert because lately I've been cracking up jokes out of nowhere and making the class laugh, I put on a cheery-happy mask of enthusiasm, and I can be friendly with people *if* I know what to say. It's like I have a defense mechanism that has a default choice of words (I crack jokes up to forget about my embarrassment). But I can't really say what I directly feel. No one really knows what I think, not because I don't want to but because I can't. And when I do try to speak up my mind, it's like they downplay things. And in my head, I'll be like, "Oh yeah, people don't have time to think about life and feelings."
> 
> ...


I hear an Introvert. INFP's can be very clever, charming and entertaining-- fi/ne is a powerful force 
You seem to be charging when alone, or when you can deeply connect with someone, as opposed to simply from interactions with people.


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## Valtire (Jan 1, 2014)

I think introvert too.


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## Seosamh O Roibin (Jan 12, 2014)

Ok, I as an INTJ will finish this thread with a rational judgement.

You are a [SUB]Introvert[/SUB] more than an *Extravert*


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## Artanis (Oct 29, 2013)

I'm a heavy introvert, yet everyone at work loves me. I talk to poeple all the time and I will often times engage in conversation with those I work with. 
However I cannot wait to get home and be ALONE =D
At work I get drained by too much interaction pretty quickly, towards the end of the day I start yawning and appearing tried despite my work not being too "hard". Driving home I wake right up though and once I'm home I'm literally bouncing off the walls again. Being shy isn't an introverted trait, its from social anxiety which can be caused my MANY factors. 
Introverts process information differently, we need to take things and be left alone with them to really dive into the depth of understanding we require.
Extroverts process information by bouncing ideas around with others, they are they guys during group discussions that start off knowing nothing and come out knowing everything. 
Sure.. we introverts might be more inclined to being shy because we are often ridiculed for being different than our extroverted counterparts and we usually have only a few but very close relationships. I know when I'm at party I just can't bounce around and interact with everyone the way my ESTP friend can. I usually set up base on a corner and talk to people as they approach me xD


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