# Due Credit



## Akrasiel (Oct 25, 2009)

As an INTJ, I recognize the fact that I have a rather large ego, but it is not competitive in the belief "I am better than you", but more so "I am the best because I think I owe it to myself to be such". Often times throughout my life all of the SJ's in my family (parental figures-I have had plenty parental figures-) seem to think that it is because of them I excell in anything. I have found that near nothing irritates me more than when someone tells *me* that they are proud of me, when I did it only for myself. I do not do anything other than for that singular reason. _Especially_ when I am told to "keep up the good work". It drives me absolutely nutters. I have even explained this to some of the SJ's that plague me with such comments so, but all I get is "well now you do it for yourself and for me", of course which simply taints the entire "self motivation". 

Do other SJ's tend to do this?
Do I seem over-reactive?


----------



## Grey (Oct 10, 2009)

I would say you're likely over-reactive than anything. Obviously, most would mean such things as compliments and hardly anything as trying to attribute your success to themselves. The SJs I know do this, of course, but so do other types - and I do appreciate it when it's sincere. It doesn't matter if I did it for myself, but it's nice to have someone recognize effort in a genuine way.


----------



## Mind Marauder (Nov 12, 2009)

Sounds like me even though I don't necessarily fit the "pre-requisites."


----------



## Akrasiel (Oct 25, 2009)

Mind Marauder said:


> Sounds like me even though I don't necessarily fit the "pre-requisites."


Oh? How so?


----------



## Mind Marauder (Nov 12, 2009)

Well, precisely what you mentioned: I hate when people say how good I am for doing something that I was merely doing for myself. Also, I hate being bragged upon in general. I think it comes down to the fact that I'm always striving to do more and I feel that people congratulating me think that I have reached a pinnacle worthy of praise when I haven't even scratched the surface of what I aim to do.


----------



## Akrasiel (Oct 25, 2009)

Mind Marauder said:


> Well, precisely what you mentioned: I hate when people say how good I am for doing something that I was merely doing for myself. Also, I hate being bragged upon in general. I think it comes down to the fact that I'm always striving to do more and I feel that people congratulating me think that I have reached a pinnacle worthy of praise when I haven't even scratched the surface of what I aim to do.


Do you generally intend to pursue whatever success you have to a much greater depth?


----------



## Mind Marauder (Nov 12, 2009)

Generally, yes. My mind is always projecting further to what could be done: Dreams, plans, thoughts, etc. I only settle for less once I realize I'm wearing myself out and could be using my energy more productively elsewhere.


----------



## Akrasiel (Oct 25, 2009)

Mind Marauder said:


> Generally, yes. My mind is always projecting further to what could be done: Dreams, plans, thoughts, etc. I only settle for less once I realize I'm wearing myself out and could be using my energy more productively elsewhere.


I think this is a really good example of one of the differences between 4 and 5 enneagram types. I, as a five would probably neglect my personal stamina and integrate myself far too deeply than is healthy.


----------



## Mind Marauder (Nov 12, 2009)

Mikhail said:


> I think this is a really good example of one of the differences between 4 and 5 enneagram types. I, as a five would probably neglect my personal stamina and integrate myself far too deeply than is healthy.


Well I do have trouble letting go sometimes, so I can sympathize on that level.


----------



## WYSIWYG (Nov 10, 2009)

Yes, it sounds over-reactive. It sounds like you are misunderstanding people's intentions in saying what they say. And they probably misunderstand how you are receiving it.


----------



## tinker683 (Nov 29, 2009)

I realize that I may be necro'ing a thread here but I think you are being a bit over-reactive. I usually give out compliments like the ones you receive but it isn't because I think you're doing me a favor (though you incidentially may). No, I say it because I genuinely want to express my appreciation for someone that actually cares about the job they are doing and that you're not just some mindless drone. It's freshing for me to meet people who actually take pride in their work.


----------



## Cookie Monster (Nov 6, 2009)

I certainly don't mind it when I am told I am doing a good job and to keep up the good work. It's encouraging . I think you may be reading too much into their comments. 

However, I can understand where you are coming from on some level. I hold myself to a ridiculously high standard, and people will tell me that they are proud of me, and that I have accomplished a lot. But I look at myself and only see failure. I wonder how people can see me as successful, but when I actually do need help, for example, my family members assume I can take care of it myself.


----------

