# NTs and childhood abuse



## Mermerce (Nov 15, 2012)

Hey guys (and those of you who call yourselves womyn because you think it's a great idea).

Just curious how many NTs out there were abused when they were younger. You can choose to go into details if you like. And please comment even if you weren't abused. Oh, and thanks ahead for sharing. 

I was physically and emotionally abused + sexually assaulted by the girls in my class at one point. Exciting.


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## aphinion (Apr 30, 2013)

I have not been physically, emotionally, or sexual abused before (well, apparently I was molested once by my cousin when I was two but I literally have no recollection of that so I don't count it). However, my parents are two separate train wrecks. 

My father is extremely addicted to marijuana, which is fine, except for the fact that he becomes extremely angry (breaking shit and swearing) if he tries to wean off it. He also enjoys getting blackout drunk every weekend, but he actually becomes a super intense parent whenever that happens. Last Saturday night he stumbled into the house and insisted that I go to bed because I had "a big day tomorrow" (I did not), and only left me alone once I turned off the tv. It was about 9:00 pm and I'm seventeen. 

I found out that my mother was suicidal for a while, but has pulled out of it nicely. I suppose that you could say that she has been emotionally abusive at times, but I've countered every mean or harsh statement she's said to me. She has a boyfriend now, and he actually brings out a lot of great qualities in her. She won't yell at me (as much) if he's around. 

I'm a bit curious, do you think that there might be a correlation between personality types and abuse?


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## SirenaChitzoph (May 27, 2013)

What's this for?

Hmm, well I was bullied growing up to some extent, and have been sexually assaulted twice, but that wasn't in my early years. Apparently they(a good deal of my classmates) didn't like that I didn't feel the dying need to associate with them. I don't think it's made a drastic change in my life, if that's what you're wondering. I don't think the bullying had anything to do with me being an NT, I'm sure it had more of an effect on my preference between introversion and extroversion if anything.


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## blood roots (Oct 29, 2013)

Uhhhh some emotional abuse, if anything. My dad was an asshole to put it lightly. He was an alcoholic, addicted to various others drugs, and eventually ended up in prison for ten years. Lots of projecting.........etc etc. This happened within the first 7 years of my life so I guess it explains a few things about how I am now.


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## PowerShell (Feb 3, 2013)

Nope. Although my dad was a very strict SJ-type.


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## AlternativeLens (Nov 15, 2013)

Yup. Very much so. Bullied. Verbally, emotionally, physical (violent and sexual) abuse, neglect, etc. etc. etc. I just posted a lengthy description of all this elsewhere in the forum but don't know how to link to it here, but I concluded by raising this very question. I really don't know if the personality type was a product of birth that would have manifested itself no matter what kind of life I had or not, but the more I consider this the more I accept the reality that we are all products of our environment.... Of course, one child will react to something differently than another. Maybe my personality type was the reason I was able to finally overcome all of it.


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## DeductiveReasoner (Feb 25, 2011)

Not really. I was bullied a bit during middle school.

My dad has really bad OCD and generalized anxiety that went undiagnosed until well after I was born. As a result I grew up thinking a lot of things wanted to hurt me or were bad when there was really no threat. I'd get in trouble for petty things like hanging towels on the towel rack that's close to the toilet. Doesn't really count as abuse, but it's an unusual upbringing. And it's definitely affected my demeanor.


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## redder144 (Nov 17, 2013)

I have not been abused.


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## AlternativeLens (Nov 15, 2013)

redder144 said:


> I have not been abused.


 I'm sure we would all be happy to gang up with some abusive things to say! ;-)


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## existential crisis (Nov 18, 2013)

I was abused both emotionally and physically. My mother, who is an ExFJ was quite strict as well as highly intolerant to any ideas or views that challenged her own, so naturally our personalities clashed. In heated arguments, she would often times mistaken my bluntness and emotional distance for defiance, and would do whatever she could to assert her dominance, even if that meant holding me down and physically assaulting me until I "submitted". When I was younger, I would just take it but I eventually began to fight back. It was actually quite funny, if you said anything about her being abusive, she would fight tooth and nail to dispel the idea from your head, bringing up biblical scriptures that supported what she did and everything, but whenever I defended myself from her attacks with attacks of my own, I was always the wildly violent, abusive one. 

Mother constantly accused me of being emotionless and insensitive however, anytime I did express emotion it was some kind of mental disorder. I guess that wasn't completley untrue, I was depressed for years since I was 12-13, fully convinced that I was a worthless piece of shit with no future, no talent, no nothing. I grew up believing opinions were facts so everything she would say about me was true. How could they not be? I could even see them for myself. No one likes me so I must be a bad person, I don't know how to express sympathy so I must be heartless, my grades are terrible, I must be stupid. 

It was a broken household. It fucked with my brain even before it was fully developed.


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## AlternativeLens (Nov 15, 2013)

existential crisis said:


> I was abused both emotionally and physically. My mother, who is an ExFJ was quite strict as well as highly intolerant to any ideas or views that challenged her own, so naturally our personalities clashed. In heated arguments, she would often times mistaken my bluntness and emotional distance for defiance, and would do whatever she could to assert her dominance, even if that meant holding me down and physically assaulting me until I "submitted". When I was younger, I would just take it but I eventually began to fight back. It was actually quite funny, if you said anything about her being abusive, she would fight tooth and nail to dispel the idea from your head, bringing up biblical scriptures that supported what she did and everything, but whenever I defended myself from her attacks with attacks of my own, I was always the wildly violent, abusive one.
> 
> Mother constantly accused me of being emotionless and insensitive however, anytime I did express emotion it was some kind of mental disorder. I guess that wasn't completley untrue, I was depressed for years since I was 12-13, fully convinced that I was a worthless piece of shit with no future, no talent, no nothing. I grew up believing opinions were facts so everything she would say about me was true. How could they not be? I could even see them for myself. No one likes me so I must be a bad person, I don't know how to express sympathy so I must be heartless, my grades are terrible, I must be stupid.
> 
> It was a broken household. It fucked with my brain even before it was fully developed.


 Sure glad you're grown enough to know that it was all wrong and that from the way you talk about it, you've gotten your head together and have a far better grasp on reality than she did! Thumbs up!


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## ScarlettHayden (Jun 8, 2012)

aphinion said:


> I'm a bit curious, do you think that there might be a correlation between personality types and abuse?


I've wondered this often. I was abused and I have an INTP friend who is somewhat abused too. Before the abuse I was apparently very much the opposite to what I am now, and although I was too young to be typed I do wonder if I was actually an ESFP.


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## aphinion (Apr 30, 2013)

ScarlettHayden said:


> I've wondered this often. I was abused and I have an INTP friend who is somewhat abused too. Before the abuse I was apparently very much the opposite to what I am now, and although I was too young to be typed I do wonder if I was actually an ESFP.


Maybe people who were not originally born as NTs become such by abuse? I've personally been an NT since the day I was born, but I know certain people can take on NT characteristics due to "becoming hard" from their life's circumstances


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

No family abuse, fortunately. Bullied a bit in 6-7th grade with one physical incident, because l was nerd.

So, l stopped being a nerd. Kind of.

Oh, and l invested in a flat iron.


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## L (Aug 12, 2011)

I doubt all NT's were abused, or if there's any correlation at all. If you get abused while your brain is still developing it can lead you to have a fractured psyche and while it repairs itself it becomes something different than it was before. This could turn non-NT's into NT's as well as NT's into other types as well. 

I had a fairly turbulent childhood and it played a very large role in how I am today, although I do not believe it changed my type. It certainly changed how I think about the world around me and it most definitely played a role in what quirks I have in my personality, but I do not believe it changed the lens in which I see the world through, I do not believe it changed my type.


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## absentminded (Dec 3, 2010)

I had an interesting childhood. I spent most of my young adult life caught between an ESFJ mother that I would say was/is highly unhealthy and an INTJ father. It definitely hardened many of my NT traits, but didn't make me an NT by any means.


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## TheQuietGuyInTheCorner (Nov 23, 2013)

Interesting thread. I've often wondered about this correlation and thought making a survey to see if there wereany trends worth investigating further. 

There is a good documentary called "absent" that looks at the effects on children raised without father figures being emotionally or physically present (either by choice or circumstance). Some of commentary is a bit presumptuous but overall it's fascinating to think about.


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## L (Aug 12, 2011)

TheQuietGuyInTheCorner said:


> There is a good documentary called "absent" that looks at the effects on children raised without father figures being emotionally or physically present (either by choice or circumstance). Some of commentary is a bit presumptuous but overall it's fascinating to think about.


Is this it?


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## TheQuietGuyInTheCorner (Nov 23, 2013)

No, but it looks like the same subject. The one I am talking about is absentmovie.com ...it's full length and on netflix still I think.


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## Versatility (Feb 19, 2013)

My mother and father argued A lot a lot alot alot ,They have been divorced since i was 5. I can say that sculpted me to who i am today.


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