# Men, What kind of Women do you Find Attractive?



## changos (Nov 21, 2011)

Rain please said:


> This question is too hard...


x2



Denature said:


> What kind of women do you *really* find attractive?...I'm NOT talking about attractive in terms of just things that attract you but things that make you want to STAY.


*Interesting *enough to stay. Many women appear like attractive to me but few actually trigger my interest to engage (walk there), not to mention staying there and feed knowing each other etc. Attractive? easy, interesting? takes time and some kind of "keep it on" to find out. Her mind is what keeps me there (or not).



tanstaafl28 said:


> A woman who speaks her mind and isn't afraid to think for herself. That's a great start with me.


I would add a woman who speaks her mind and has positive things to say, worth hearing, and thinks for herself in healthy terms. I know many women who got someone telling them "speak your mind, don't feel less than others, let your opinion free" and oh boy... a monkey has better things to say.


The following comes from your comment, but it's not a disagreement or correcting anything, it's just that your post helped me to pick up a good starting point: a woman who speaks her mind? in my region the lack of empathy among women is so high, *I try to measure her ability to hear*... when a woman shows signs of hearing and understanding, oh yes I'm staying and let's see how many things we can talk, discuss, explore, etc. I just hate how many women get lost, example: do you have FB? answer yes/no, or "are you single" yes/no, yet... many ignore your answer and insert their interpretation "so what you are saying is you don't have FB because [insert absurd conclusion they built without your participation]". You can see that in this forum, I'm glad it doesn't happen as often as in the near past, whatever you said was twisted into something weird. You can find lots of examples here.


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## knhumphrey (Jan 19, 2018)

Skeletalz said:


> Traditional. _*Old*_ fashioned. Thats a pretty good archetypal label.


Would you mind defining old fashioned? :heart:


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## knhumphrey (Jan 19, 2018)

Denature said:


> Alright ladies,
> 
> 
> So far here's what I've gathered:
> ...


So, basically the same thing we look for in men. Ha. :heart:


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## Euclid (Mar 20, 2014)

knhumphrey said:


> Would you mind defining old fashioned? :heart:


Old fashioned / traditional (IMHO):

- Does not sleep around, or even have sex before marriage
- Does not behave or dress slutty, but modestly and with feminine grace and elegance
- Appreciates acts of chivalry and old fashioned romantic gestures
- Soft and demure personality
- Is submissive to husband
- Prefers to be a stay at home mother


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## Ronney (Jul 17, 2016)

Short and slim or tall and slim. For relationships they have to be able to hold an intellectually stimulating conversation and like to go on fun adventures.


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## Blazkovitz (Mar 16, 2014)

Idealistic, joyous, with a good sense of humour, affectionate. And visually attractive


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## Skeletalz (Feb 21, 2015)

knhumphrey said:


> Would you mind defining old fashioned? :heart:





Euclid said:


> Old fashioned / traditional (IMHO):
> 
> - Does not sleep around, or even have sex before marriage
> - Does not behave or dress slutty, but modestly and with feminine grace and elegance
> ...


Pretty much. Some thoughts though:



> Does not sleep around


Definitely.



> have sex before marriage


I can think of some circumstances that would give acceptable reasons for breaking this rule but in general, yes, I would agree. Dont have sex with someone until both of you can confidently, certainly, without doubt say that "yes, I will do my best to spend the rest of my life with this person". I would classify that as the symbolic marriage, there doesnt even need to be some external church business involved.



> Does not behave or dress slutty, but modestly and with feminine grace and elegance


Definitely.



> Appreciates acts of chivalry and old fashioned romantic gestures


These are lots of fun so yes.



> Soft and demure personality


Where can I sign up for that? :heart:



> Is submissive to husband


_Here is some musing about this:_ Yes, I would believe that it is good for the well-being of everyone in the family to be the responsibility of the man. That does not mean that the family is some BDSM dictatorship, it also includes the responsibility not to mistreat any of them. Actually, the rule "dont mistreat anyone without a very good reason" would make a great universal rule. It is also necessary for the man to listen to the thoughts and propositions of other family members because in the end, he is the representative. 

I think it is important that nobody goes off doing what they think is right while flat out disregarding what others have to say for no particular reason. In my opinion this is where the role of the woman comes in, she cant be an opinionless slave with no mind of her own, she needs to have the spine to stand up for things that she sees as important.

For some reason, "is submissive to husband" brings to mind those cringy ddlg people and domestic abuse, its weird... 



> Prefers to be a stay at home mother


I would have nothing against this, in fact Id probably prefer it. My future plans include living out in the sticks so there really wouldnt be much of an alternative than for both of us to stay at home.

Also to clarify, by traditional or old fashioned I dont mean 50s Americana where the catty housewife always makes sure that her man has enough radium cigarettes. There are some similarities between the ideals of that time and what I would consider ideal but I see mine as separate from that baggage. 

I originally tried adding a bunch of other traits but that went too far out into the spectrum for my liking so Ive omitted that.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

changos said:


> x2
> 
> I would add a woman who speaks her mind and has positive things to say, worth hearing, and thinks for herself in healthy terms. I know many women who got someone telling them "speak your mind, don't feel less than others, let your opinion free" and oh boy... a monkey has better things to say.
> 
> The following comes from your comment, but it's not a disagreement or correcting anything, it's just that your post helped me to pick up a good starting point: a woman who speaks her mind? in my region the lack of empathy among women is so high, *I try to measure her ability to hear*... when a woman shows signs of hearing and understanding, oh yes I'm staying and let's see how many things we can talk, discuss, explore, etc. I just hate how many women get lost, example: do you have FB? answer yes/no, or "are you single" yes/no, yet... many ignore your answer and insert their interpretation "so what you are saying is you don't have FB because [insert absurd conclusion they built without your participation]". You can see that in this forum, I'm glad it doesn't happen as often as in the near past, whatever you said was twisted into something weird. You can find lots of examples here.


So if she speaks her mind and has what you consider to be negative things not worthy of being heard, to you, or is in any way unhealthy, you're out? That's going to disqualify pretty much every woman on earth. 

They are probably going to have some things to say that may seem negative, and some may even seem unhealthy, and may not be worthy of being heard by you. For me, if it has passion and enthusiasm behind it, that's far more interesting. I want imperfections. I want the essence and authenticity to flow out of her like a fine wine, because it will be HER you hear, not the shallow niceties, or the many masks we wear for everyone else. I want her to feel comfortable telling me things that she has always wanted to say, but has never felt safe doing so before. For this, she will have my complete and undivided attention for as long as I can give it. I admit it. I am completely and utterly fascinated by women.


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## changos (Nov 21, 2011)

tanstaafl28 said:


> So if she speaks her mind and has what you consider to be negative things not worthy of being heard, to you, or is in any way unhealthy, you're out? That's going to disqualify pretty much every woman on earth.


That's quite off, far from what I said. One relative gave me the advice once, "_ask her what's the conclusion she got, what she understand from what you said_", well many are plain unhealthy distortions, yes MANY. You related this to "something I consider negative", you surprise me, that's far. Years later a friend (psychologist) said the same, well the discovery has been fascinating.

Hey changos, can we have a love relationship?
No... I actually have a GF, I'm in love with her, and no you are not my type.

Surprisingly to things like that I discovered women thinking what I said is "not at this moment but yes I want to". That's far from what you said (something I consider negative) that's... someone detached from reality distorting your words, and it's also a red flag (a very red one). I don't worry by men, the topic is about women. Part of my growth as an adult has been differentiating something unhealthy from something I don't like, very diff concepts. What I don't like can be good or bad, what's unhealthy... well reality makes it very easy to spot.



tanstaafl28 said:


> So if she speaks her mind and has what you consider to be negative things not worthy of being heard, to you, or is in any way unhealthy, you're out? That's going to disqualify pretty much every woman on earth.
> 
> They are probably going to have some things to say that may seem negative, and some may even seem unhealthy, and may not be worthy of being heard by you. For me, if it has passion and enthusiasm behind it, that's far more interesting. I want imperfections. I want the essence and authenticity to flow out of her like a fine wine, because it will be HER you hear, not the shallow niceties, or the many masks we wear for everyone else. I want her to feel comfortable telling me things that she has always wanted to say, but has never felt safe doing so before. For this, she will have my complete and undivided attention for as long as I can give it. I admit it. I am completely and utterly fascinated by women.


I believe we are talking about diff things, my comment is quite simple, I don't like horses "oh so you hate mammals who walk using 4 legs", damn I've seen stuff like this, so, it's a huge problem when people don't tell you what they understand, when they just say "*I me too*" there are some good chapters on human relationships (literature) about this and how this is dangerous. It's been approached in some threads around here.


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## jtour (Oct 26, 2017)

The kind of woman who has my money this time, not holding out on me.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

changos said:


> That's quite off, far from what I said. One relative gave me the advice once, "_ask her what's the conclusion she got, what she understand from what you said_", well many are plain unhealthy distortions, yes MANY. You related this to "something I consider negative", you surprise me, that's far. Years later a friend (psychologist) said the same, well the discovery has been fascinating.
> 
> Hey changos, can we have a love relationship?
> No... I actually have a GF, I'm in love with her, and no you are not my type.
> ...



Thank you for clarifying your meaning.


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## ENTJudgement (Oct 6, 2013)

Cute
Sweet
Affectionate
Caring
Nurturing
Giving/Generous
Kind
Positive
Same libido as me
Smells nice/good hygiene
Attractive enough to tick the I am attracted to her box
Good complexion/healthy
Expresses her positive feelings without fear of judgement or embarrassment i.e if she wants to skip because shes happy then she skips without worrying about how others perceives the skipping.
Humble
Communicates frequently (not nagging, whining or complaining and talks about stuff that isn't shallow or vain such as make up, shopping, money, plastic surgery)
Touchy/feely
Considerate
More submissive than I am
Slightly clingy but not too much (otherwise its just going to be 2 independent people not talking to each other)


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## SgtPepper (Nov 22, 2016)

-laid-back
-has her own brain
-is well-meaning/caring
-curious


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## SevSevens (Aug 5, 2015)

Kind that's not afraid to go out without any undies in a miniskirt and let me suck her clit in the back seat of my car.


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## Eu_citzen (Jan 18, 2018)

- Physically attractive
- Intellectual/intelligent (for those fun night-long discussions)
- Direct
- Outdoors person
- Independent (i.e. has her own hobbies, so I can have some me time occasionally)
- Easy going and fun loving
- Good communication (I'm a man of few words, so if she compensates that - it helps)
- Slightly more extroverted then me


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## Crimson Ash (May 16, 2012)

Precise in her speech, true to her character and willing to tolerate a thoroughly imperfect being.


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## Rventurelli (Jan 7, 2018)

Dress in a more discrete/old fashioned way, not too sexual, _intelligent_, somewhat conservative and/or nationalistic, caring, perhaps _a little bit_ more extrovert than me, similar music taste and the icing on the cake would be to like horror movies. Having a similar ancestry and religious background than me (I am mostly Italian and am a non-practicing Catholic) comes a _long way_, as the less you have in common the least likely it is to work out. Been married before with a Jewess and there was very little to no common ground and that was terrible.

I do not care if she works or not, however, if she does, she has to earn less than me because women _do not _respect men who earn less than themselves. Again, I do not want a slave or someone to direct. She _can and should _have her on thoughts, ideas and objectives. There has to be a sense that we are in this _together_ and _building something_ better together or it really does not last.

Wanting to have children is _non-negotiable_, I really, really want to be a father.


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## Blazkovitz (Mar 16, 2014)

Rventurelli said:


> Wanting to have children is _non-negotiable_, I really, really want to be a father.


What about marrying a woman who already has a child? Would being a step-father be enough? For me, enjoying the _emotional_ aspects of fatherhood would be more important than merely leaving a genetic descendant.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

ENTJudgement said:


> More submissive than I am


There is a balance of independence and submissiveness that I am attracted to, but haven't fully pinpointed it so didn't fully include it when I posted. But I know that too much of one to the detriment of the other is a turnoff.


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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)

ninjahitsawall said:


> There is a balance of independence and submissiveness that I am attracted to, but haven't fully pinpointed it so didn't fully include it when I posted. But I know that too much of one to the detriment of the other is a turnoff.


It is called a Switch :Smilies3:


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## jtour (Oct 26, 2017)

AshOrLey said:


> @jtour likes a woman who knows how to math.


Think I give a shit if some cow knows how to stamp her hoof and count by 16's?

Math is stupid, except category theory and various algebras, and I can do that myself.

Maybe the woman can do some stuff I'm unable to, like odd topology or some bits of graph theory.

Stop implying I'm a nerd! 

Woman.


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## Octavius Magnus (Dec 6, 2014)

Mousy, quitely feminine women.


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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)

Octavius Magnus said:


> Mousy, quitely feminine women.


=easily controlled. Nice wording


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## jtour (Oct 26, 2017)

If you have to ask, you'll never know.

All kinds, baby.


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## jtour (Oct 26, 2017)

And, no, I don't prefer the rodent mouse-women.

My loss, I guess.


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## TheDominator (Dec 9, 2017)

All kinds. Mostly thic girls.


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## Ermenegildo (Feb 25, 2014)

Boyish NTPs who are their own Personal Security Detail.


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## Rventurelli (Jan 7, 2018)

TheDominator said:


> All kinds. Mostly thic girls.


You mean _fat_ ones?


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## TheDominator (Dec 9, 2017)

Rventurelli said:


> You mean _fat_ ones?


Thicc does not mean fat. 
It means girls with big boobs, big butts and small waists. 
Curvy women. Not chunksters trying to make themselves feel better about being obese.
Im talking real curves. 
Im all about the tits and ass.


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

quiet
reserved
one who will put up with my bull shit


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## Rventurelli (Jan 7, 2018)

TheDominator said:


> Thicc does not mean fat.
> It means girls with big boobs, big butts and small waists.
> Curvy women. Not chunksters trying to make themselves feel better about being obese.
> Im talking real curves.
> Im all about the tits and ass.


Thanks for the _clarification_. I never really saw the appeal of arses. Always liked tits though, unless they are totally _out of proportion_/obviously fake.


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## Blazkovitz (Mar 16, 2014)

Rventurelli said:


> Thanks for the _clarification_. I never really saw the appeal of arses. Always liked tits though, unless they are totally _out of proportion_/obviously fake.


Exactly. Full breasts, wide hips and flat belly are a trinity, but breasts are the most important.


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## sherlock8311 (Feb 16, 2018)

Rventurelli said:


> Thanks for the _clarification_. I never really saw the appeal of arses. Always liked tits though, unless they are totally _out of proportion_/obviously fake.


Im the same, arses really do not make any difference to me, unless they are way toooo big. Other than that I am neuteral either way.

Its the face, the eyes, tits and stomach for me. Oh and haircut/style plays a part.


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## Rventurelli (Jan 7, 2018)

RoseTylerFan said:


> Exactly. Full breasts, wide hips and flat belly are a trinity, but breasts are the most important.


Holly mother of arse you got that right!


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## Rventurelli (Jan 7, 2018)

sherlock8311 said:


> Im the same, arses really do not make any difference to me, unless they are way toooo big. Other than that I am neuteral either way.
> 
> Its the face, the eyes, tits and stomach for me. Oh and haircut/style plays a part.


I agree one hundred and two percent with a two percent margin of error. Now, for me, _signs of being intelligent_ and -- of course, _being intelligent_ are very important. My formula would be 40 percent looks and 60 percent personality with a passing grade of 65 so; personality _alone_ _nor_ looks alone make the cut.


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## sherlock8311 (Feb 16, 2018)

Rventurelli said:


> I agree one hundred and two percent with a two percent margin of error. Now, for me, _signs of being intelligent_ and -- of course, _being intelligent_ are very important. My formula would be 40 percent looks and 60 percent personality with a passing grade of 65 so; personality _alone_ _nor_ looks alone make the cut.


Same, there is not one or the other.

Marks out of 10 for looks, marks out of 10 for personality, minimum of 15, at least 8 in one or the other.

Also stops all the bs about how good looking women are stupid, when mentioning looks. Still love to know where people get that idea from.


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## Ermenegildo (Feb 25, 2014)

Women who can talk about their sexual life for an hour without making use of the possessive adjective ‘my’.


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## Sygma (Dec 19, 2014)

Tough, adventurous, very lively women who like the sparkle of life. I like a strong woman not afraid of showing vulnerability yet not defined by it. Who knows what she wants and will most certainly go get it. Who don't need her man to acknowledge her worth

Bonus if feminine, but so far most of the women who met these "criterias" were punkettes ! and one of them in particular was seriously amazing.

Oh yeah and of course sexual, since ya know, sx sp. Don't give me any of that sapio-sexual-we-dont-need-to-talk-to-understand-each-other-else-there-is-no-connection-I'm-afraid


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## jtour (Oct 26, 2017)

Pliable subject for experimentation in phlebotomy, dentistry, anesthesiology, psychology, cell collection, pedagogy, outpatient surgery. 

Must clean itself, do own hair, makeup. 

Diet and bed provided. 

Negative attitude a plus. Language unimportant. Healthy subjects only. Orphans preferred.


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## Rventurelli (Jan 7, 2018)

sherlock8311 said:


> Same, there is not one or the other.
> 
> Marks out of 10 for looks, marks out of 10 for personality, minimum of 15, at least 8 in one or the other.
> 
> Also stops all the bs about how good looking women are stupid, when mentioning looks. Still love to know where people get that idea from.


They say that because it makes them _feel_ better. They do not wish to believe in the "_injustice_" it is to be both pretty and intelligent. Often times a man who is handsome or a woman that is beautiful will also be at the very least smart. Just think about it: someone who is attractive has _a lot more_ attention than someone who is not, so they have to learn how to deal with people or be in a world of pain.

I am not saying that often the beautiful woman is a genius in biology, economics or whatever, or that the handsome man is a rocket scientist, however, generally speaking they are at least people smart because of the _much more frequent practice_ they will have in deal with other people that start from the _very beginning of life_.

As unfair as that might seem, the simple fact is that pretty babies get a lot more attention from their parents, while an ugly baby might be cared at a minimum and then just put back in the cradle. As Queen Victoria said in a letter to one of her daughters: "an ugly baby is a nasty object". And she was kind of a specialist in babies, since she had nine herself.


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## Amyluvsu (Apr 23, 2018)

So you basically felt she was "_the one_" and nothing else after ever really compared

You guys are breaking my heart reading this. So sweet. When you are ready, you will love again. I am not ready but I am hopeful for someday.


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## Rhothan (Jan 10, 2018)

@Rventurelli
Hi! Do you still remember our last discussion? Something happened since then, that I just want to tell to someone, not necessarily for advice but just because it's in my mind ever since last Sunday, when it happened. And I'd prefer to just do the next step by myself, but really, I'm stunned... and a bit afraid as well. So the next thing happened: I've met a girl in person, whom read my novel, on the International Book Festival in Budapest. We've talked a lot, walked through the whole city, overall, we've spent a really nice time together. Both of us are really interested in the other, but also, both of us have a hard time giving away signs of our real feelings. And I can tell this for sure because I think I feel something for her, and I think she does too, but none of us really likes to talk about romantic stuff. But there was something unambiguous that catched me right when I've arrived to the meeting: She dressed exactly like the girl in my novel. For a moment I really thought, that Kitty herself stepped out from the book, as she stood there, waving her hands above her eyes looking for me. But I didn't mention it to her, outside of compliments, I've even forgot it in a few hours, and only after we parted, did I fully realize the whole thing. And I'm still not really sure what does this mean, if it means anything at all. I keep thinking that it may have been just a coincidence, that she just preferred that look by default. And because of that, I really am not sure what to do, because I want to meet her more, I want to know her true feelings, but I fear that I'll remain undecisive, late again, like many times before, to ask her out. Frankly, I'm afraid that I'll simply became a dear friend, out of my own fault, because I'm sure I'd have a chance with her, with the right approach. I guess I really shouldn't stress so much about it. But I keep being afraid of becoming dull and uninteresting for her, in part because that's the same thing that turns me off in women.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

sinpin said:


> dont worry man youll find somebody....have you considered seeing a social worker? neuroscientists and psychologists say that the parts of our brain that deal with rejection are the same parts that deal with grief. if it is inhibiting your ability to form meaningful relationships, and it's been a long time, there is absolutely no shame in seeking help. the right girl is out there for you somewhere, bro, and though i dont know you, you deserve her!


I dunno, it's more of feeling numb that's the problem. Like I can fantasize about having feelings for someone but the feelings are fabricated, if that makes sense. Not sure if a therapist can help with that?


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## The Poet (Oct 1, 2017)

ninjahitsawall said:


> I dunno, it's more of feeling numb that's the problem. Like I can fantasize about having feelings for someone but the feelings are fabricated, if that makes sense. Not sure if a therapist can help with that?


 A therapist can help, at least try.


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## Rventurelli (Jan 7, 2018)

ninjahitsawall said:


> I think "the one" is too mature of a concept, it went from infatuation/lust and feeling like I wasn't good enough (i.e. pedestalizing, which is kind of how I interpret projection of "Mary" onto a woman), to just recognizing that most of what I wanted was a fantasy and unless we somehow cross paths again there was no "fate" or "meant to be" or any of that crap involved. Most of that was in my head. So it kinda evolved into that cliche, 'if you love someone you let them go'.
> 
> Emotionally, nothing has compared, just because it was such a hit to my system that it seems my tolerance for those feelings has gone through the roof, not unlike a drug tolerance...
> ....Or I am just not meeting the right people...We shall see, I'll be moving soon if all goes well.


One does in real life what we do in dreams: we _invent and fabricate the people we associate_ to soon afterwards _forget_ we did so


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## Clyme (Jul 17, 2014)

Denature said:


> What kind of women do you *really* find attractive?
> I want you to really think about it and imagine you're sitting down with this person on a date, perhaps living together, etc.
> 
> I'm NOT talking about attractive in terms of just things that attract you but things that make you want to STAY.
> ...


I'm attracted to those individuals with great emotional depth as a result of hardship. People who are completely put together or who have nothing that troubles them don't catch my attention. I very much have a savior complex and desire to care for those around me. An individual who needs care or who can be cared for activates this sense within me. Beyond that, I'm interested in anyone with the ability to reason logically and think critically. Oh, also, I'm interested in people who are introverted.


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## Rventurelli (Jan 7, 2018)

Rhothan said:


> @Rventurelli
> Hi! Do you still remember our last discussion? Something happened since then, that I just want to tell to someone, not necessarily for advice but just because it's in my mind ever since last Sunday, when it happened. And I'd prefer to just do the next step by myself, but really, I'm stunned... and a bit afraid as well. So the next thing happened: I've met a girl in person, whom read my novel, on the International Book Festival in Budapest. We've talked a lot, walked through the whole city, overall, we've spent a really nice time together. Both of us are really interested in the other, but also, both of us have a hard time giving away signs of our real feelings. And I can tell this for sure because I think I feel something for her, and I think she does too, but none of us really likes to talk about romantic stuff. But there was something unambiguous that catched me right when I've arrived to the meeting: She dressed exactly like the girl in my novel. For a moment I really thought, that Kitty herself stepped out from the book, as she stood there, waving her hands above her eyes looking for me. But I didn't mention it to her, outside of compliments, I've even forgot it in a few hours, and only after we parted, did I fully realize the whole thing. And I'm still not really sure what does this mean, if it means anything at all. I keep thinking that it may have been just a coincidence, that she just preferred that look by default. And because of that, I really am not sure what to do, because I want to meet her more, I want to know her true feelings, but I fear that I'll remain undecisive, late again, like many times before, to ask her out. Frankly, I'm afraid that I'll simply became a dear friend, out of my own fault, because I'm sure I'd have a chance with her, with the right approach. I guess I really shouldn't stress so much about it. But I keep being afraid of becoming dull and uninteresting for her, in part because that's the same thing that turns me off in women.


_Take it slow_... I believe everything happens _for a reason_, however, in regards to relationships, if there is anything I learned in life is that if you show a lot of interest _too soon_ you scare the girl.


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## Rhothan (Jan 10, 2018)

Rventurelli said:


> _Take it slow_... I believe everything happens _for a reason_, however, in regards to relationships, if there is anything I learned in life is that if you show a lot of interest _too soon_ you scare the girl.


Oh, about that, the weird things is, it's actually she who says things first. We've talked a lot since the last few days, and she already told me she'd like to meet me again, and now we're planning a nice picnic somewhere close to her city. I don't know, how should I act, because it's still not clear, if she rather sees me as a friend-in-need, because she's bored with her life right now, but not want anything serious (a bit like me most of the time), but then, why would she invite me alone, for a meeting with like the most romantic undertone (picnic, lake, boating, special dress). Should I be more confident, or rather be more careful and avoid a romantic approach (which I'm not really good at in real life, I tend to go too far too easily)? I really-really don't want to screw it up, and things just happen much faster than the usual.


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## starscream430 (Jan 14, 2014)

Ambitious without being underhanded.

Shares similar hobbies to me.

Fun without being too wild.

Polite without being a complete doormat.

Able to be honest with what she wants. Doesn't prefer to play games in a relationship.

Not too thrifty, but not too excessive.


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## Rventurelli (Jan 7, 2018)

Rhothan said:


> Oh, about that, the weird things is, it's actually she who says things first. We've talked a lot since the last few days, and she already told me she'd like to meet me again, and now we're planning a nice picnic somewhere close to her city. I don't know, how should I act, because it's still not clear, if she rather sees me as a friend-in-need, because she's bored with her life right now, but not want anything serious (a bit like me most of the time), but then, why would she invite me alone, for a meeting with like the most romantic undertone (picnic, lake, boating, special dress). Should I be more confident, or rather be more careful and avoid a romantic approach (which I'm not really good at in real life, I tend to go too far too easily)? I really-really don't want to screw it up, and things just happen much faster than the usual.


Don't really think you have much to worry about. Just _be yourself_ instead of trying to pretend to be someone you are not.


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## Ermenegildo (Feb 25, 2014)

*Marcel Proust: Swann in Love*

*Marcel Proust: Remembrance of Things Past *
Volume One: Swann’s Way
(C. K. Scott Moncrieff)

*Swann in Love*

And so when, in the course of this same year, the courtesan *[Odette de Crécy]* told M. Verdurin that she had made the acquaintance of such a charming gentleman, *M. Swann,* and hinted that he would very much like to be allowed to come, M. Verdurin carried the request at once to his wife. He never formed an opinion on any subject until she had formed hers, his special duty being to carry out her wishes and those of the ‘faithful’ generally, which he did with boundless ingenuity.

“My dear, Mme. de Crécy has something to say to you. She would like to bring one of her friends here, a M. Swann. What do you say?”

“Why, as if anybody could refuse anything to a little piece of perfection like that. Be quiet; no one asked your opinion. I tell you that you are a piece of perfection.”

“Just as you like,” replied Odette, in an affected tone, and then went on: “You know I’m not fishing for compliments.”

“Very well; bring your friend, if he’s nice.”

Now there was no connection whatsoever between the ‘little nucleus’ and the society which Swann frequented, and a purely worldly man would have thought it hardly worth his while, when occupying so exceptional a position in the world, to seek an introduction to the Verdurins. But Swann was so ardent a lover that, once he had got to know almost all the women of the aristocracy, once they had taught him all that there was to learn, he had ceased to regard those naturalisation papers, almost a patent of nobility, which the Faubourg Saint-Germain had bestowed upon him, save as a sort of negotiable bond, a letter of credit with no intrinsic value, which allowed him to improvise a status for himself in some little hole in the country, or in some obscure quarter of Paris, where the good-looking daughter of a local squire or solicitor had taken his fancy. For at such times desire, or love itself, would revive in him a feeling of vanity from which he was now quite free in his everyday life, although it was, no doubt, the same feeling which had originally prompted him towards that career as a man of fashion in which he had squandered his intellectual gifts upon frivolous amusements, and had made use of his erudition in matters of art only to advise society ladies what pictures to buy and how to decorate their houses; and this vanity it was which made him eager to shine, in the sight of any fair unknown who had captivated him for the moment, with a brilliance which the name of Swann by itself did not emit. And he was most eager when the fair unknown was in humble circumstances. Just as it is not by other men of intelligence that an intelligent man is afraid of being thought a fool, so it is not by the great gentleman but by boors and ‘bounders’ that a man of fashion is afraid of finding his social value underrated. Three-fourths of the mental ingenuity displayed, of the social falsehoods scattered broadcast ever since the world began by people whose importance they have served only to diminish, have been aimed at inferiors. And Swann, who behaved quite simply and was at his ease when with a duchess, would tremble for fear of being despised, and would instantly begin to pose, were he to meet her grace’s maid.

Unlike so many people, who, either from lack of energy or else from a resigned sense of the obligation laid upon them by their social grandeur to remain moored like houseboats to a certain point on the bank of the stream of life, abstain from the pleasures which are offered to them above and below that point, that degree in life in which they will remain fixed until the day of their death, and are content, in the end, to describe as pleasures, for want of any better, those mediocre distractions, that just not intolerable tedium which is enclosed there with them; Swann would endeavour not to find charm and beauty in the women with whom he must pass time, but to pass his time among women whom he had already found to be beautiful and charming. And these were, as often as not, women whose beauty was of a distinctly ‘common’ type, for the physical qualities which attracted him instinctively, and without reason, were the direct opposite of those that he admired in the women painted or sculptured by his favourite masters. Depth of character, or a melancholy expression on a woman’s face would freeze his senses, which would, however, immediately melt at the sight of healthy, abundant, rosy human flesh.

If on his travels he met a family whom it would have been more correct for him to make no attempt to know, but among whom a woman caught his eye, adorned with a special charm that was new to him, to remain on his ‘high horse’ and to cheat the desire that she had kindled in him, to substitute a pleasure different from that which he might have tasted in her company by writing to invite one of his former mistresses to come and join him, would have seemed to him as cowardly an abdication in the face of life, as stupid a renunciation of a new form of happiness as if, instead of visiting the country where he was, he had shut himself up in his own rooms and looked at ‘views’ of Paris. He did not immure himself in the solid structure of his social relations, but had made of them, so as to be able to set it up afresh upon new foundations wherever a woman might take his fancy, one of those collapsible tents which explorers carry about with them. Any part of it which was not portable or could not be adapted to some fresh pleasure he would discard as valueless, however enviable it might appear to others. How often had his credit with a duchess, built up of the yearly accumulation of her desire to do him some favour for which she had never found an opportunity, been squandered in a moment by his calling upon her, in an indiscreetly worded message, for a recommendation by telegraph which would put him in touch at once with one of her agents whose daughter he had noticed in the country, just as a starving man might barter a diamond for a crust of bread. Indeed, when it was too late, he would laugh at himself for it, for there was in his nature, redeemed by many rare refinements, an element of clownishness. Then he belonged to that class of intelligent men who have led a life of idleness, and who seek consolation and, perhaps, an excuse in the idea, which their idleness offers to their intelligence, of objects as worthy of their interest as any that could be attained by art or learning, the idea that ‘Life’ contains situations more interesting and more romantic than all the romances ever written. So, at least, he would assure and had no difficulty in persuading the more subtle among his friends in the fashionable world, notably the Baron de Charlus, whom he liked to amuse with stories of the startling adventures that had befallen him, such as when he had met a woman in the train, and had taken her home with him, before discovering that she was the sister of a reigning monarch, in whose hands were gathered, at that moment, all the threads of European politics, of which he found himself kept informed in the most delightful fashion, or when, in the complexity of circumstances, it depended upon the choice which the Conclave was about to make whether he might or might not become the lover of somebody’s cook.










It was not only the brilliant phalanx of virtuous dowagers, generals and academicians, to whom he was bound by such close ties, that Swann compelled with so much cynicism to serve him as panders. All his friends were accustomed to receive, from time to time, letters which called on them for a word of recommendation or introduction, with a diplomatic adroitness which, persisting throughout all his successive ‘affairs’ and using different pretexts, revealed more glaringly than the clumsiest indiscretion, a permanent trait in his character and an unvarying quest. I used often to recall to myself when, many years later, I began to take an interest in his character because of the similarities which, in wholly different respects, it offered to my own, how, when he used to write to my grandfather (though not at the time we are now considering, for it was about the date of my own birth that Swann’s great ‘affair’ began, and made a long interruption in his amatory practices) the latter, recognising his friend’s handwriting on the envelope, would exclaim: “Here is Swann asking for something; on guard!” And, either from distrust or from the unconscious spirit of devilry which urges us to offer a thing only to those who do not want it, my grandparents would meet with an obstinate refusal the most easily satisfied of his prayers, as when he begged them for an introduction to a girl who dined with us every Sunday, and whom they were obliged, whenever Swann mentioned her, to pretend that they no longer saw, although they would be wondering, all through the week, whom they could invite to meet her, and often failed, in the end, to find anyone, sooner than make a sign to him who would so gladly have accepted.

Occasionally a couple of my grandparents’ acquaintance, who had been complaining for some time that they never saw Swann now, would announce with satisfaction, and perhaps with a slight inclination to make my grandparents envious of them, that he had suddenly become as charming as he could possibly be, and was never out of their house. My grandfather would not care to shatter their pleasant illusion, but would look at my grandmother, as he hummed the air of:

What is this mystery?
I cannot understand it;

or of:

Vision fugitive .*.*.;
In matters such as this
’Tis best to close one’s eyes.

A few months later, if my grandfather asked Swann’s new friend “What about Swann? Do you still see as much of him as ever?” the other’s face would lengthen: “Never mention his name to me again!”

“But I thought that you were such friends .*.*. ”

He had been intimate in this way for several months with some cousins of my grandmother, dining almost every evening at their house. Suddenly, and without any warning, he ceased to appear. They supposed him to be ill, and the lady of the house was going to send to inquire for him when, in her kitchen, she found a letter in his hand, which her cook had left by accident in the housekeeping book. In this he announced that he was leaving Paris and would not be able to come to the house again. The cook had been his mistress, and at the moment of breaking off relations she was the only one of the household whom he had thought it necessary to inform.

But when his mistress for the time being was a woman in society, or at least one whose birth was not so lowly, nor her position so irregular that he was unable to arrange for her reception in ‘society,’ then for her sake he would return to it, but only to the particular orbit in which she moved or into which he had drawn her. “No good depending on Swann for this evening,” people would say; “don’t you remember, it’s his American’s night at the Opera?” He would secure invitations for her to the most exclusive drawing-rooms, to those houses where he himself went regularly, for weekly dinners or for poker; every evening, after a slight ‘wave’ imparted to his stiffly brushed red locks had tempered with a certain softness the ardour of his bold green eyes, he would select a flower for his buttonhole and set out to meet his mistress at the house of one or other of the women of his circle; and then, thinking of the affection and admiration which the fashionable folk, whom he always treated exactly as he pleased, would, when he met them there, lavish upon him in the presence of the woman whom he loved, he would find a fresh charm in that worldly existence of which he had grown weary, but whose substance, pervaded and warmly coloured by the flickering light which he had slipped into its midst, seemed to him beautiful and rare, now that he had incorporated in it a fresh love.

But while each of these attachments, each of these flirtations had been the realisation, more or less complete, of a dream born of the sight of a face or a form which Swann had spontaneously, and without effort on his part, found charming, it was quite another matter when, one day at the theatre, he was introduced to Odette de Crécy by an old friend of his own, who had spoken of her to him as a ravishing creature with whom he might very possibly come to an understanding; but had made her out to be harder of conquest than she actually was, so as to appear to be conferring a special favour by the introduction. She had struck Swann not, certainly, as being devoid of beauty, but as endowed with a style of beauty which left him indifferent, which aroused in him no desire, which gave him, indeed, a sort of physical repulsion; as one of those women of whom every man can name some, and each will name different examples, who are the converse of the type which our senses demand. To give him any pleasure her profile was too sharp, her skin too delicate, her cheek-bones too prominent, her features too tightly drawn. Her eyes were fine, but so large that they seemed to be bending beneath their own weight, strained the rest of her face and always made her appear unwell or in an ill humour. Some time after this introduction at the theatre she had written to ask Swann whether she might see his collections, which would interest her so much, she, “an ignorant woman with a taste for beautiful things,” saying that she would know him better when once she had seen him in his ‘home,’ where she imagined him to be “so comfortable with his tea and his books”; although she had not concealed her surprise at his being in that part of the town, which must be so depressing, and was “not nearly smart enough for such a very smart man.” And when he allowed her to come she had said to him as she left how sorry she was to have stayed so short a time in a house into which she was so glad to have found her way at last, speaking of him as though he had meant something more to her than the rest of the people she knew, and appearing to unite their two selves with a kind of romantic bond which had made him smile. But at the time of life, tinged already with disenchantment, which Swann was approaching, when a man can content himself with being in love for the pleasure of loving without expecting too much in return, this linking of hearts, if it is no longer, as in early youth, the goal towards which love, of necessity, tends, still is bound to love by so strong an association of ideas that it may well become the cause of love if it presents itself first. In his younger days a man dreams of possessing the heart of the woman whom he loves; later, the feeling that he possesses the heart of a woman may be enough to make him fall in love with her. And 50, at an age when it would appear — since one seeks in love before everything else a subjective pleasure — that the taste for feminine beauty must play the larger part in its procreation, love may come into being, love of the most physical order, without any foundation in desire. At this time of life a man has already been wounded more than once by the darts of love; it no longer evolves by itself, obeying its own incomprehensible and fatal laws, before his passive and astonished heart. We come to its aid; we falsify it by memory and by suggestion; recognising one of its symptoms we recall and recreate the rest. Since we possess its hymn, engraved on our hearts in its entirety, there is no need of any woman to repeat the opening lines, potent with the admiration which her beauty inspires, for us to remember all that follows. And if she begin in the middle, where it sings of our existing, henceforward, for one another only, we are well enough attuned to that music to be able to take it up and follow our partner, without hesitation, at the first pause in her voice.

(Text) 
Wikipedia: In Search of Lost Time 
Proust et ses personnages: Charles Swann


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

I don't like the ones who are too nice, but I don't like the ones who are too mean. Like most things, it should be answered with no actual answer because nobody really knows what they want.


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## Rventurelli (Jan 7, 2018)

Grandmaster Yoda said:


> I don't like the ones who are too nice, but I don't like the ones who are too mean. Like most things, it should be answered with no actual answer because nobody really knows what they want.


It goes back to _Aristotle_: _every virtue_ is hidden in between two _vices_: someone who has too little courage is a coward, someone who has too much courage is reckless; the person who has too much of a sense of humour is a buffoon, while someone who has too little is boring.


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## Blazkovitz (Mar 16, 2014)

Rventurelli said:


> It goes back to _Aristotle_: _every virtue_ is hidden in between two _vices_: someone who has too little courage is a coward, someone who has too much courage is reckless; the person who has too much of a sense of humour is a buffoon, while someone who has too little is boring.


And there are values which should be maximalized, like intelligence, vitality, creativity and kindness. You cannot have too much of them.


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## Rventurelli (Jan 7, 2018)

RoseTylerFan said:


> And there are values which should be maximalized, like intelligence, vitality, creativity and kindness. You cannot have too much of them.


_Not really_... People who are _too intelligent_ often times are _full of drawbacks_, often being _failures in life_ or even ending up in _mental institutions_. And I am not talking about someone with an IQ of 130, I am talking about real geniuses, like above 160. Those people _often times_ grow up _without any friends_ or people to relate to, _never form a family_ and die _relatively unknown_ in their times.

Me and the few I know that are highly intelligent all agree that_ being intelligent is a curse_: we often times _cannot enjoy_ things that the majority find fun, we _cannot make friend_s or have a _decent conversation_ with _almost anyone_. It feels _lonely_, it feels as if we are constantly watching a slow motion car crash but cannot do anything to warn others about it because they cannot understand us. _As a disclaimer_, I only have an IQ of 131, so my understanding is that a real genius would feel much worse than me. While I am doing somewhat okay with a good paying job, I am far from doing anything special and often times feel I am _wasting my potential_; this friend of mine with an IQ of 160_ never _held a job, barely has any friends, cannot keep focus on a single thing for long and in desperation ended up in all sorts of drugs, _fortunately_ being clean for a few years now.

_Often times_ child prodigies end up being_ normal or even failures in life_; as specific examples take _William James Sidis_, who entered Harvard before hitting puberty and spoke 25 languages, ended up depressed in menial jobs and trying to hide from the media, look at _Nietzsche_, who spent his last years in life in a _mental hospital_ and especially take a look at _Nikola Tesla_, who died in a hotel room, not having _a single friend_, _never_ having had sex in his entire life and _relatively unknown at the time _(even today every time I bring him up, _nobody _over 30 ever heard of him -- the ones who did hear or read about him was probably due to some internet meme).

If by vitality you mean healthy, that is not really a personality characteristic.

_Creativity_ would again _probably_ put the person in a situation where he again finds himself _without any peer group_. Most people do not realize that, however, success, fame, fortune and whatever, _often times_ depends on _luck_ and _connections_ more than anything else. I am sure for every _rock star_ there are ten that would be _just as skilled_ if not more if they had had the _same opportunities_; take also into consideration how those artists often times live _miserably_, _depending on drugs_, having _no idea_ if they have any _true friends_ or if they can even please their partners sexually or if that is all _make belief _because they have money.

An excellent example of the _dark side of being a rock star_ is the album _The Who By Numbers_, especially the songs _How Many Friends do I Really Have_, _However Much I Booze_ and _Success Story_.

Someone who is _too kind_ will be _abused_ by almost every single person that they encounter. Someone who is _too kind _is a _fool_; someone who is too unkind is _mean_ and/or _stingy_.


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## Blazkovitz (Mar 16, 2014)

Rventurelli said:


> _Not really_... People who are _too intelligent_ often times are _full of drawbacks_, often being _failures in life_ or even ending up in _mental institutions_. And I am not talking about someone with an IQ of 130, I am talking about real geniuses, like above 160. Those people _often times_ grow up _without any friends_ or people to relate to, _never form a family_ and die _relatively unknown_ in their times.
> 
> Me and the few I know that are highly intelligent all agree that_ being intelligent is a curse_: we often times _cannot enjoy_ things that the majority find fun, we _cannot make friend_s or have a _decent conversation_ with _almost anyone_. It feels _lonely_, it feels as if we are constantly watching a slow motion car crash but cannot do anything to warn others about it because they cannot understand us. _As a disclaimer_, I only have an IQ of 131, so my understanding is that a real genius would feel much worse than me. While I am doing somewhat okay with a good paying job, I am far from doing anything special and often times feel I am _wasting my potential_; this friend of mine with an IQ of 160_ never _held a job, barely has any friends, cannot keep focus on a single thing for long and in desperation ended up in all sorts of drugs, _fortunately_ being clean for a few years now.
> 
> _Often times_ child prodigies end up being_ normal or even failures in life_; as specific examples take _William James Sidis_, who entered Harvard before hitting puberty and spoke 25 languages, ended up depressed in menial jobs and trying to hide from the media, look at _Nietzsche_, who spent his last years in life in a _mental hospital_ and especially take a look at _Nikola Tesla_, who died in a hotel room, not having _a single friend_, _never_ having had sex in his entire life and _relatively unknown at the time _(even today every time I bring him up, _nobody _over 30 ever heard of him -- the ones who did hear or read about him was probably due to some internet meme).





> _Creativity_ would again _probably_ put the person in a situation where he again finds himself _without any peer group_. Most people do not realize that, however, success, fame, fortune and whatever, _often times_ depends on _luck_ and _connections_ more than anything else. I am sure for every _rock star_ there are ten that would be _just as skilled_ if not more if they had had the _same opportunities_; take also into consideration how those artists often times live _miserably_, _depending on drugs_, having _no idea_ if they have any _true friends_ or if they can even please their partners sexually or if that is all _make belief _because they have money.


This is true, but not because of too much intelligence and creativity, but because these individuals lacked social skills, practicality and emotional stability. 

Then since we are talking about women and relationships: it is not possible for a man of 100 IQ to enter a relationship with a woman whose IQ is 200. He wouldn't be able to understand her. So, my ideal woman should be somewhere in my IQ range (115-120).



> Someone who is _too kind_ will be _abused_ by almost every single person that they encounter. Someone who is _too kind _is a _fool_; someone who is too unkind is _mean_ and/or _stingy_.


Yes, you are right. LOVE is the value that should be maximalized, not kindness as such. Sometimes love manifests as kindness, but sometimes it manifests as justice. By punishing a drunkard, you can make him understand that being drunk is not okay and therefore you help him become a better person. This is known as "tough love". If you were kind and gave him money, you would help him with further drinking.


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## Rventurelli (Jan 7, 2018)

RoseTylerFan said:


> This is true, but not because of too much intelligence and creativity, but because these individuals lacked social skills, practicality and emotional stability.


Something _extremely common_ for genius, _especially_ for the introverted ones. Time is a _finite resource_ and the time you spend doing one thing is time you do not spend doing something else. I imagine the amount of time that Axel Rose spent learning to sing in falsetto like he does is immense -- but he is a cocky bastard that _probably_ never tried to understand anyone but himself. Simply put, a true genius with passion for his work will dedicate such an amount of time in his research that he will _almost certainly_ be socially awkward. 




RoseTylerFan said:


> Then since we are talking about women and relationships: it is not possible for a man of 100 IQ to enter a relationship with a woman whose IQ is 200. He wouldn't be able to understand her. So, my ideal woman should be somewhere in my IQ range (115-120).


Well, with _such a large gap_ between each one (100 IQ vs 200 IQ) it would_ really be impossible_, however, with a _narrower difference_ things could be different than you imagine. Personal example: I have an IQ of 131, my ex-wife had one of 160. IQ is like the processor of the computer, so the _potential_, then there is software, which would be the _knowledge or wisdom_ _within_ that capacity/intelligence; I read much, much more than her (she never read a book after leaving college) so I knew more about _almost everything_ than her.

_As a disclaimer_, as an _ISTP-A_, she was much more interested in _practical things_ like building or repairing things with her hands or tools. It is something _extremely rare_ for women, but in this she truly showed her true potential by truly excelling at it. But being able to manage her finances, having intellectual curiosity or understanding any complex topic that did not directly impacted her life... Forget it, she would _never_ even care about!



RoseTylerFan said:


> Yes, you are right. LOVE is the value that should be maximalized, not kindness as such. Sometimes love manifests as kindness, but sometimes it manifests as justice. By punishing a drunkard, you can make him understand that being drunk is not okay and therefore you help him become a better person. This is known as "tough love". If you were kind and gave him money, you would help him with further drinking.


Then I would have to ask you to kindly _define_ what love is in _your understanding_, because people utilize the word "love" in many _different ways_ and with dissimilar meanings.


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## Blazkovitz (Mar 16, 2014)

Rventurelli said:


> Then I would have to ask you to kindly _define_ what love is in _your understanding_, because people utilize the word "love" in many _different ways_ and with dissimilar meanings.


Love is valuing another person in the same way you value yourself.


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## Rventurelli (Jan 7, 2018)

RoseTylerFan said:


> Love is valuing another person in the same way you value yourself.


What if you hate yourself or are simply self-less?


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## Rhothan (Jan 10, 2018)

@Rventurelli

I hope I'm not bothering you, but I feel like I have to tell this to someone, other than myself, because I feel so happy and so troubled at the same time.
I'm an idiot, I really am. I wrote to you that I have a hard time reading clues and such, but still, even when I feel like I know what's happening... I just can't believe it. There's this girl, whose wonderful, incredibly honest, kind and patient, and all she wants is to get to know me, and for me to know her, to be with me, and to love me... I feel like I do not deserve this kind of love, even though all I want is to give such love to her, for some reason I'm afraid to do so. Like today, she told me while videochatting, that all she needed to cheer up is to just sit with me quietly and watch each other for a few minutes - but only after I finally asked her, what would she want. But I just couldn't believe it, and I keep stumbling over my own inability to just simply be there for her and to love her, instead of thinking about useless stuff that I sometimes hope she would like to see or have instead of me. I think she wants me to tell her that I love her, but If I can't even allow to fulfill myself for her, if I can't even allow her to just love me directly, how could I tell her that all I want is her to see me as I am, and to love her openly, as I feel she does already?


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## Rventurelli (Jan 7, 2018)

RoseTylerFan said:


> It seems we have the same taste when it comes to women.


So _why_ the light haired woman as your avatar?


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## heavydirtysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

Yeah, tell me h:


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## NT the DC (May 31, 2012)

Denature said:


> Alright ladies,
> 
> 
> So far here's what I've gathered:
> ...



No lol.
I love girls that dress up over girls that look like they're going camping or to walmart.
I don't want an average or below average looking girl I want her to be hot. Who cares if other guys look at her? Guys look at everything, why am I going to let that stop me from being with her? 
Low self esteem anyone?

Traditional and old fashioned can mean many things but I don't want Suzy homemaker who just wants little guys and the picket fence, that sounds like hell.


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## Blazkovitz (Mar 16, 2014)

Rventurelli said:


> So _why_ the light haired woman as your avatar?


I like her as a character. That's it. Also, she reminds me of a good period in my life.


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## Rventurelli (Jan 7, 2018)

RoseTylerFan said:


> I like her as a character. That's it. Also, she reminds me of a good period in my life.


_I do not know her_, however, _I do understand_ wanting to have as your avatar something that reminds you of a positive period of your life; Nietzsche, my avatar image, was the philosopher that among others helped to keep me "sane" during school, the _most miserable period of my life_.


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## Blazkovitz (Mar 16, 2014)

Rventurelli said:


> _I do not know her_, however, I do understand wanting to have as your avatar something that reminds you of a positive period of your life


Rose Tyler | Tardis | FANDOM powered by Wikia


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## Rhothan (Jan 10, 2018)

I've always wanted a unicorn for myself. But instead, I've got a fairy. I think I'm heading into the best period of my life roud:


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## Rventurelli (Jan 7, 2018)

Rhothan said:


> I've always wanted a unicorn for myself. But instead, I've got a fairy. I think I'm heading into the best period of my life roud:


Glad to read it!_ I wonder_ if I will find an invisible flying unicorn myself.


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## Nyanpichu (Jun 5, 2014)

General Lee Awesome said:


> A girl who likes and accept me


lmao i feel bad


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## General Lee Awesome (Sep 28, 2014)

Nyanpichu said:


> lmao i feel bad


Lol why?


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## Rventurelli (Jan 7, 2018)

General Lee Awesome said:


> Lol why?


For laughing_ I would assume_.


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## piece in quite (Aug 10, 2015)

nice ones


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## L P (May 30, 2017)

I am a sucker for Hispanic women. Accent, skin tone, hair color, ah just kill me lol.

I need a girl with a sense of humor though. Like that is huge, and a girl that can get what I'm saying without me explaining myself so much, that is for some reason automatically sexy to me, like a chemical reaction, I feel a physical sensation when it happens, I guess it's like a turn on, mostly because it rarely happens.

A girl that laughs at my jokes. I like that, has been a huge part of my relationships, lots of jokes and laughter because life isn't that serious.

I have spoken to girls that are generally nice and physically attractive and have had zero connection, being like generally nice isn't enough for me, I have to be able to touch her in a deep emotional spot and get a connection.

I mostly NEED, physical attraction, deep emotional connection, laughter. What will get me to stay for the long term though is all that plus shared values. All that could be there but non shared values could destroy it all, shared values could be there without the rest and we will just be friends.

So for me.

Shared values.
Physical attraction.
Emotional connection.
Laughter.

If we are talking my behaviorists though and not ideals then,

Well in the past I have been attracted to and my head has turned the fastest for:

Ice queen, mean looking bitchy power suit wearing girls, hispanic nicely dressed women. Or women extremely in shape (like most men)

So yea I am instinctively physically attracted to women that look like bossy ice queen bitches with power suits, especially ones that have tanner skin and black hair, though not limited to them. Idk y 
-_- I don't know why.....it's just sexy idk. I feel weird about it to be honest lol. Idk, I always want to just take her mean bitchy serious ass and drive her wild. It feels like an accomplishment I guess. I like the idea of being the one that broke through the ice queen's bitch shield. I like the idea of her trying to control me and me acting like a rebellious child not giving into any of her "serious" demands which drives her nuts but turns her on at the same time. I like the idea of her bitchy ass pushing me up against a wall and saying firmly " Do what I say, or else." And I look at her with a smirk like "Or else what?" She says "Or else I MAKE you do it." Then I retort "Make me." And then power struggle ensues. But it's a power struggle where it's more exciting for her to lose even though she doesn't want to admit it because she wins everyday being a boss at work but for some reason she has no control over this guy. I want to be that guy to that ice queen everybody thinks is a bitch and stuck up. And if it was a work situation and she was my boss, everybody at work gets shit from her but when she tries to give me shit she has a hard time because I rocked her world last night and only me an her know it, and co-workers are confused why I don't get shit. Throw in cursing me out in spanish when she's angry from time to time, ugh just kill me lol. I would melt. (I know it sounds like why would anybody want that, but I'm dead serious lol.) I think it's the change in attitude that's a turn on, the transformation from serious and bitchy to sexually aroused and affectionate towards you behind closed doors when you get far enough with one of them ( if that even happens.) that change in attitude is like phenomenon I would like to witness if it's real. Also the exclusive treatment of her being a bitch to the world but aroused by only you and changed by only you to a more affectionate person, that is very very satisfying. EXTJ women seem to fit this fantasy most I guess. Maybe some ESTP women but they are more vibrant with their aggression, which can get a little concerning quite frankly. Towards ESTP women I have a strong burning attraction to the more confrontational ones that are somewhat physically fit and look like they would fight someone one at first, but that attraction slowly dies. With EXTJ women I have a more curious foreign territory kind of attraction, like I want to see the less serious side of this person, I want to see what it's like when this person has their guard down.


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## Nyanpichu (Jun 5, 2014)

General Lee Awesome said:


> Lol why?


you're going to die alone


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## General Lee Awesome (Sep 28, 2014)

Nyanpichu said:


> you're going to die alone


Why? Please explain


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