# Duality and similar appearance



## SublimeSerendipity (Dec 30, 2010)

So I've been with my ISTJ/SLI boyfriend (I'm an ENFP/IEE) for a year and from the very beginning when people either a) saw a picture of us together, or b) saw us together, the reaction was almost always something along the lines of:

"You two look like you belong together"
"You guys look so much alike you could be siblings"
"You two are so adorable together"
"You guys look like a couple"

Here's a picture of us together from one of our early dates last spring....









And here's one from this past weekend out to dinner with friends....









Anyways, not sure if this has anything to do with duality or whatnot. But it's definitely a bit odd when people tell me we look like brother and sister.....LOL.


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## Mostly Harmless (Oct 16, 2011)

You look somewhat alike in terms of features but even more strikingly, you have a very similar vibe! Interesting.


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## SublimeSerendipity (Dec 30, 2010)

@Mostly Harmless

You're right it's very much a "vibe". I don't really know how to describe it...it's kind of like when we are together people are drawn to us and our dynamics.


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## FlaviaGemina (May 3, 2012)

I don't think it's got to do with duality, although that could explain the "vibe".
In general, when people get more mature and interested in a long term relationship, they end up with someone who looks similar to them. It's because they prefer features that they are used to from their family. Yeah, I know that sounds yuckie, but I don't think it's got to do with incest, it's because we associate these features with stability and because we know how to read such a person's facial expressions.

E.g. in my family, most people have hazel, brown or green eyes. When I was a teenager, I didn't like green eyes and fancied people with blue eyes. Now I'm slightly scared of blue eyes because I can't "read" them. My husband has brown eyes and I find people with brown/hazel/green eyes a lot more "trustworthy" on an instinctive level. 

LOL, some people ask my husband and me whether we are siblings and we look completely different. He is tall and skinny, has dark brown eyes and dark brown hair and a slim face. I'm short, average build, hazel eyes, blonde hair and have a roundish face. ????? The only similarity is that we both wear glasses and wear roughly the same style of clothes. ???


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

same enneagram type sometimes gives similar vibe -- is your boyfriend a 6 also?


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## SublimeSerendipity (Dec 30, 2010)

FlaviaGemina said:


> I don't think it's got to do with duality, although that could explain the "vibe".
> In general, when people get more mature and interested in a long term relationship, they end up with someone who looks similar to them. It's because they prefer features that they are used to from their family. Yeah, I know that sounds yuckie, but I don't think it's got to do with incest, it's because we associate these features with stability and because we know how to read such a person's facial expressions.
> 
> E.g. in my family, most people have hazel, brown or green eyes. When I was a teenager, I didn't like green eyes and fancied people with blue eyes. Now I'm slightly scared of blue eyes because I can't "read" them. My husband has brown eyes and I find people with brown/hazel/green eyes a lot more "trustworthy" on an instinctive level.
> ...



Hmm....that's an interesting concept. With us it's really just our facial features that resemble each other, and we both have light colored eyes and dark hair. Ethnically, we're both half British Isles and half Eastern European/Middle Eastern, so I think we've inherited similar regional ethnic traits. 



cyamitide said:


> same enneagram type sometimes gives similar vibe -- is your boyfriend a 6 also?


I'm a 6w7 and he's a 5w6.


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## Sol_ (Jan 8, 2013)

I doubt that types have relation to appearance. It's like to say appearance have relation to left-handedness or liking of red socks.


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## surra (Oct 1, 2012)

It's related somehow. You just... it's unconscious. Maybe you are spiritually eager with each other?


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