# The Consequences of Emotional Displays



## screamofconscious (Oct 15, 2009)

After talking to another NT friend on this subject, I became very curious how T may have developed in relation to your environment. Please share your memories.

Do you recall displaying emotion during your childhood?

If so, how did the authority figures in your life react to it?

How did you perceive their reactions relating to justice?

How do you perceive their reactions (and yours) in hindsight?

What have or will you do differently with your children?

How high do you score in F today?


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## Sunless (Jul 30, 2009)

Hmmm

My mother (ISFJ) tells me that when I was a kid, I disliked affection. ie: If she kissed me I would rub my cheek, i would run away from hugs, etc.

My father (ENTJ) has never been affectionate to me, my sister or my mother. I dont think he has ever said "i love you" in his life.

My sister (INTJ) used to be more sweet and gentle as a girl, but then hormones came into the picture and she became the closest thing to a metal pan a human can be.

A few years ago I realized I had a problem with physical contact in general (I would only feel comfortable doing it with my romantic interest) and I started trying to show my affection for the people I love in a physical way. I am still a bit uncomfortable with strangers or people I just met, but I can easily hug and kiss my friends and family. Fun times :happy:


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## Scruffy (Aug 17, 2009)

Do you recall displaying emotion during your childhood?
*I was a tantrum kid, but it took a lot to drive me into one. I was never overly emotional, just average.*

If so, how did the authority figures in your life react to it?
*My INFP mother just let me tire myself out, because it's impossible to talk to someone in a tantrum. My mother was always comforting when I was emotional though.*

How did you perceive their reactions relating to justice?
*As a child I thought it was unfair to ignore me when I was tantruming, and I was never harshly punished. *

How do you perceive their reactions (and yours) in hindsight?
*Normal, nothing stands out really.*

What have or will you do differently with your children?
*I will not be afraid of punishment, it is necessary in some situations.*


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## Grey (Oct 10, 2009)

aubrey said:


> Do you recall displaying emotion during your childhood?


My sort of emotion was anger. When I was very young, I saw many instances of my father being aggressive, when he was around at that time. I can't ever remember having been majorly comforted when I was sad and upset, so I took to hiding this and trying this 'aggressive' approach instead. It benefited me back then, but only because I was a child and could get away with acting immature.



aubrey said:


> If so, how did the authority figures in your life react to it?


My father praised my aggression (he still does to this day, when we debate), and my mother would back down. As a child, I perceived this as 'victory', and so I continued to do it, diminishing the other side of my emotionality (crying, being upset) until it became purely habit.



aubrey said:


> How did you perceive their reactions relating to justice?


Justice? None at all.



aubrey said:


> How do you perceive their reactions (and yours) in hindsight?


I am ashamed of my mother, because she has always backed down to everything, which I've come to see as weakness. I think my father, while I appreciated the praise, ultimately aided my 'anger management' problem that I am having difficulty with later in life. My actions as a child were immature, and landed me in several situations I am still uncomfortable remembering, but I was just a kid.



aubrey said:


> What have or will you do differently with your children?


Should I have children, I plan not to praise them for shouting in anger, but for standing up for themselves when it is appropriate. I don't plan to back down to them in doing so, but after solving the argument or situation, praising them for that specific action. Whether or not it would work is up to chance, but I would like to think it would provide any future children I could have with the tools to defend themselves and to recognize when it is and when it is not appropriate to become angry.

Since previous posts have mentioned it, my mother is an ISFP, and my father an ENTJ.


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## screamofconscious (Oct 15, 2009)

Thank you Sunless, Scruffy and Grey. It occured to me that I forgot to ask what you score in F today. That's been fixed but I don't want to miss out on that answer from you.


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## Scruffy (Aug 17, 2009)

I've got a high T and usually test around 80% in it, but I have a developed F simply from having an INFP mother and ENFP older sister.

If I did get to understand them growing up, I would be disowned or something.

Just because I understand F, does not make me have a high F.


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## Grey (Oct 10, 2009)

According to recent tests, I don't have a 'high' thinking score, with 65 being the average.

I value feeling functions (Fi and Fe) very highly, even though I don't use them very often. It's important to understand those, and I think they skew the tests; either the tests take thinking to mean emotionless, or they take emotional as being overly sensitive and worrisome.


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## teflon (Jul 9, 2009)

*Do you recall displaying emotion during your childhood?*
I don't recall showing much emotion... except when I was really really young (like 4 or 5), I used to cry when my mom left me, or when I'd see my dad for a weekend and he'd drop me off... i'd cry. 
I never really spent much time with either of them... my mom was always working or going out, and my parents were separated so i only saw my dad like maybe 4 times a year.

*If so, how did the authority figures in your life react to it?
*They put me in therapy.

*How did you perceive their reactions relating to justice?*
justice as in discipline? my dad never really was around so he never disciplined me.
my mother (isfp) would beat me when i grew frustrated or upset with things, or tell me extremely hateful things (like one time she told me she wished i was retarded and couldn't feed myself, and if i died of starvation no one would give a fuck because i couldn't properly use the vaccuum attachments and got frustrated and gave up.)

*How do you perceive their reactions (and yours) in hindsight?*
their reactions were sort of a cop-out in my opinion. They didn't feel like dealing with my "emotional issues" so they pawned me off to a therapist and that was it. 
Mine were what i believe to be me reaching out for a little more attention from my parents... i would always be left under the care of my oldest sister who had serious control issues and would punish me severely almost every day... and i guess i thought that my parents wouldn't have treated me that way.... I learned as i got older that my sister got her abusive behavior from my mother... 

*
What have or will you do differently with your children?*
i'm actually afraid to have children. I don't think i'm emotionally supportive enough for another human being. especially one i have to care for. I've been abused my whole life, which I think led to me becoming this emotionless, and i wouldn't know how to nurture a growing child to be able to cope with emotions on a healthy level because i pretty much no longer have emotions and would not understand how to deal with them. when i do feel my own emotions, there only there for a little while, and usually go away before i even have to start with any "coping" process. 
*
How high do you score in F today?*
My percentages are really high INTP. you can see them below in my signature.


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## paperoceans (Sep 27, 2009)

> Do you recall displaying emotion during your childhood?


If dazed and confused counts as an emotion. I always had this permanent faraway look in my eyes. 



> If so, how did the authority figures in your life react to it?


I was a goodytwoshoes until my high school career. Ninth grade is when I began to have some problems... And then I eventually found out that I was bipolar, which did make a lot of sense. I went from being quiet and pensive, to being disruptive and impatient. As of now, I am back to being quiet and pensive... It is quite possible that I was originally an INTJ, I am beginning to see those J qualities once more.



> How did you perceive their reactions relating to justice?


No opinion, it doesn't concern me, therefore I haven't really thought about it.



> How do you perceive their reactions (and yours) in hindsight?


Well, I was always a quiet baby, I would rarely cry so I was the "good kid". But once my disorder started showing up it damaged my reputation; basically, I had extreme displays of emotion. I was either very happy, very angry, or very quiet. There was no median for me, at the time. Now I'm calm. I wasn't very likable in the past and I know that. I just wished that I caught this change of "personality" a long time ago.



> What have or will you do differently with your children?


Nothing, I turned out alright :laughing: 



> How high do you score in F today?


Quite low. I am thinking about all the things that I need to do--I'll give my F a zero.


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## Sunless (Jul 30, 2009)

I will take the test in similarminds again just now and post my results.. because lately ive been scoring F


*drumroll*



Introverted (*I*) 63.89% Extroverted (E) 36.11%
Intuitive (*N*) 80% Sensing (S) 20%
Thinking (*T*) 50% Feeling (F) 50%
Perceiving (*P*) 55.88% Judging (J) 44.12%​ 
Your type is: *INTP*


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## screamofconscious (Oct 15, 2009)

teflon said:


> *What have or will you do differently with your children?*
> i'm actually afraid to have children. I don't think i'm emotionally supportive enough for another human being. especially one i have to care for. I've been abused my whole life, which I think led to me becoming this emotionless, and i wouldn't know how to nurture a growing child to be able to cope with emotions on a healthy level because i pretty much no longer have emotions and would not understand how to deal with them. when i do feel my own emotions, there only there for a little while, and usually go away before i even have to start with any "coping" process.


Thank you for sharing that. I must say though, that the fact that you care enough to be afraid of having children tells me you have it in you to be more nurturing than you might believe. I wouldn't advise jumping headfirst into such a commitment, but you might be suprised at the kind of love and joy that a child can bring into a persons life.


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