# Physically choking a woman during sex



## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

What's up with this? I've never tried this during sex myself and I never will. Why on Earth do some men enjoy taking their hands and choking out a woman during sex, and why do some women enjoy men doing it to them?


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

I wouldn't assume that ALL women enjoy it. Some may do it because they want their partner to be happy. I on the other hand would tell my partner to fuck off and learn to make love like a decent human being.


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

Fizz said:


> I wouldn't assume that ALL women enjoy it. Some may do it because they want their partner to be happy. I on the other hand would tell my partner to fuck off and learn to make love like a decent human being.


OH GOD NO! In fact, I'm assuming that most women don't. I'm just asking the people as a whole, why anyone would like it!


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## traceur (Jan 19, 2012)

i am guessing its the same reason women play with male nipples and unsuspecting lovers of dry ears find a tongue in their ear: 
people project what they enjoy on their partners.

...in this case erotic efixiation.

& if your wife/partner is willing to do that to you, and you trust her to let go on time, for god's tell her too.


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## Everyday Ghoul (Aug 4, 2009)

On occasion, I enjoy autoerotic asphyxiation. Being choked during sex is even better. I have a lot of trust issues, so it's a bonding exercise, plus it provides a brief moment of panic, which sends adrenaline and other lovely things flooding through me, heightening the overall sexual experience. Not to mention, it's risky, and sometimes risky is sexy. Also, it makes me feel more focused on sensation and the moment. Most focused orgasms I've ever had, have come during asphyxiation. I don't know, overall, it's just awesome... within reason. I've seen people full on hang themselves or a partner and that's a bit much for me, but if it's your thing, more power to you... despite how disturbing it looks. However, I don't go around choking women during sex, because I enjoy it, so what enjoyment would I get out of doing it to them? If they asked for it, sure, but I've known more than one woman who has ended sexual encounters with violence, when choked at random, because of past experiences with rape. Actually, this and other forms of restraint can, circumstantially, be associated with dominance and power. Probably more so where males are doing the choking. Most porn I've seen, that involved choking, certainly was focused on domination and power. However, I have found the occasional film that featured asphyxiation for the sake of it. I'm sure a terribly embarrassing way to be discovered dead, but what a way to die, and I'm pretty sure the dead can't feel embarrassment, so...


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## Yardiff Bey (Jun 5, 2011)

For some women it is a turn-on, being physically helpless in the arms of a man.

Face it, most men can very easily harm a woman. We are PHYSICALLY BUILT for killing and destruction, whether hunting or warfare.

Something about the combination of overwhelming strength coupled with barely-held restraint in using it against their lover will turn certain types of woman on.


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## Eerie (Feb 9, 2011)

If it's not enough to actually kill me, and just a little force at my throat I think it's very erotic. I don't know why I think that, I just do. Obviously I don't _really_ want to be choked.


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## Olena (Jan 2, 2011)

I like hands around my throat, in general.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

Eerie said:


> If it's not enough to actually kill me, and just a little force at my throat I think it's very erotic. I don't know why I think that, I just do. Obviously I don't _really_ want to be choked.





Yardiff Bey said:


> For some women it is a turn-on, being physically helpless in the arms of a man.
> 
> Something about the combination of overwhelming strength coupled with barely-held restraint in using it against their lover will turn certain types of woman on.


Bingo. It's called being submissive. It's not for all women, and not all men are the flip side of the coin which is dominant, at least to the extent that they like choking - actually, it should be called in most cases "simulated choking" as that tends to be what people want. Regardless, some people like it, including my girlfriend. 


_@The Great One_ - This is where I reject the sexual moralizing. You don't get it and so you condemn it. That's pretty ignorant. If two consenting adults agree to this and nobody is getting hurt or being taken beyond the bounds of their comfort level, what concern is it of yours? If you don't like it, don't do it. 

After all, why wouldn't it be a two way street? Someone like me might reject your sexual activities as uninformed, tame and boring. Fair is fair, right?




Yardiff Bey said:


> Face it, most men can very easily harm a woman. We are PHYSICALLY BUILT for killing and destruction, whether hunting or warfare.


That's a little dramatic and possibly self-aggrandizing, don't you think?


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

Why would some people eat strawberries? I'll never eat them! Why on earth are there people that enjoy eating strawberries?


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## WolfStar (Aug 18, 2009)

All I know is I'd never be able to do that to someone. >.>


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

I don't know, but it was one of Vincent Tabak's fetishes. He eventually murdered Joanna Yeates a couple of years ago, it was a big story here in the UK.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

skycloud86 said:


> I don't know, but it was one of Vincent Tabak's fetishes. He eventually murdered Joanna Yeates a couple of years ago, it was a big story here in the UK.


He also ate rocky road ice cream. 

In other words, so what?

I'll edit this- Obviously you can take something too far. There's always too much of a good thing or a benign thing. Taking an extreme example of one man's sadistic fixation on choking and pretending it's reasonably relevant to a discussion about consensual erotic choking, however, is silly.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

redmanXNTP said:


> He also ate rocky road ice cream.
> 
> In other words, so what?
> 
> I'll edit this- Obviously you can take something too far. There's always too much of a good thing or a benign thing. Taking an extreme example of one man's sadistic fixation on choking and pretending it's reasonably relevant to a discussion about consensual erotic choking, however, is silly.


It's not silly at all. Having a liking for rocky road ice cream is not relevant to the thread. Having a sexual fetish where women are physically choked is relevant, not to mention that Yeates was choked to death. I'm not saying everyone who likes this sexual fetish is about to go and choke a woman to death, I'm just pointing out that it was one of the reasons for a murder which became national news.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

skycloud86 said:


> It's not silly at all. Having a liking for rocky road ice cream is not relevant to the thread. Having a sexual fetish where women are physically choked is relevant, not to mention that Yeates was choked to death. I'm not saying everyone who likes this sexual fetish is about to go and choke a woman to death, I'm just pointing out that it was one of the reasons for a murder which became national news.


Are you suggesting that someone who enjoys erotic choking is more prone to do what Tabak did than someone who does not?


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

redmanXNTP said:


> Are you suggesting that someone who enjoys erotic choking is more prone to do what Tabak did than someone who does not?


Seeing as I explicitly said "I'm not saying everyone who likes this sexual fetish is about to go and choke a woman to death", I'm obviously not saying that. My first post in this thread was simply to point out that there had been a major news story where a sexual fetish that is not exactly conventional was involved in a major way - i.e., it was the cause of death of a young woman.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

skycloud86 said:


> Seeing as I explicitly said "I'm not saying everyone who likes this sexual fetish is about to go and choke a woman to death", I'm obviously not saying that. My first post in this thread was simply to point out that there had been a major news story where a sexual fetish that is not exactly conventional was involved in a major way - i.e., it was the cause of death of a young woman.


Actually, "I'm not saying everyone who likes this sexual fetish is about to go and choke a woman to death" is not inconsistent with saying there's a propensity. 

Of course not everyone would do that! Mercy, what a pithy observation! 

So I'll ask again: Are you suggesting that someone who enjoys erotic choking is more prone to do what Tabak did than someone who does not?


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## Cetanu (Jan 20, 2012)

I thought it was weird until a girl asked me to do it to her. It turned her on and since then I've discovered other girls like it too. So what? As long as it's not violent I see no problem. I wouldn't do it to someone unless I knew they liked it though.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

redmanXNTP said:


> Actually, "I'm not saying everyone who likes this sexual fetish is about to go and choke a woman to death" is not inconsistent with saying there's a propensity.
> 
> Of course not everyone would do that! Mercy, what a pithy observation!
> 
> So I'll ask again: Are you suggesting that someone who enjoys erotic choking is more prone to do what Tabak did than someone who does not?


You're very defensive of a sexual fetish, aren't you?

No, I am not suggesting that.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

skycloud86 said:


> You're very defensive of a sexual fetish, aren't you?
> 
> No, I am not suggesting that.


Then what's the relevance of your post?

This is what I'm getting at- you decided to swing by this thread, toss that grenade in here, and then act wounded when I called you out on it, now going so far as to call me "defensive". That's pretty feeble of you. 

No, I'm not defensive. I, without prompting, offered my input in this thread, and I'm calling out someone with nothing substantive to offer. Do better next time.


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## Paradox1987 (Oct 9, 2010)

Why would two consenting adults choose to indulge in erotic asphyxiation? Without really stretching my imagination; I'd hazard at "they both enjoy it?" as my primary response. In other instances it could be for the thrill of experimentation, the joy of fulfilling a loved one's sexual fantasies, or the chance to indulge in some rough sex. I daresay when sodomy laws were still in practice people probably asked why people would have anal sex etc. 

Trust and power are very erotic things between partners. Submission, domination and trust are all dynamics of any healthy relationship, and the sub-dom line is a rather thin one, so how power flows between partners is constantly in flux. I personally, have a great dislike for the feeling of asphyxia, so if you did it to me, I'd thrash uncomfortably and it wouldn't be much of a sexual experience; but I have plenty of preferences that others wouldn't much enjoy, such is life. 

S'long as all is consensual between adults, and disproportionate harm is avoided (and safeguarded for) then frankly, what you do in your bedroom is really not my concern; nor do I have the time or inclination to make it my concern.


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

Paradox1987 said:


> Why would two consenting adults choose to indulge in erotic asphyxiation? Without really stretching my imagination; I'd hazard at "they both enjoy it?" as my primary response. In other instances it could be for the thrill of experimentation, the joy of fulfilling a loved one's sexual fantasies, or the chance to indulge in some rough sex. I daresay when sodomy laws were still in practice people probably asked why people would have anal sex etc.
> 
> Trust and power are very erotic things between partners. Submission, domination and trust are all dynamics of any healthy relationship, and the sub-dom line is a rather thin one, so how power flows between partners is constantly in flux. I personally, have a great dislike for the feeling of asphyxia, so if you did it to me, I'd thrash uncomfortably and it wouldn't be much of a sexual experience; but I have plenty of preferences that others wouldn't much enjoy, such is life.
> 
> S'long as all is consensual between adults, and disproportionate harm is avoided (and safeguarded for) then frankly, what you do in your bedroom is really not my concern; nor do I have the time or inclination to make it my concern.


I can see this point of view.


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## Falling Leaves (Aug 18, 2011)

I think we are forgetting two things here;
a) Sex is primarily a sensual experience
b) The neck is an errogenous zone 

Applying light pressure to the neck can be a turn on for some people, especially if they enjoy the idea of being dominated in the bedroom; also, I think when you put your faith in someone to put their hands around your neck during sex it's exciting because you are putting them in complete control - yes, it is dangerous, but that danger is precisely what makes it such a turn on. 

Some couples might seem the most gentle and lovey-dovey together, but behind closed doors a completely different story may play out altogether. Just because some people are into some weird, kinky shit in the bedroom doesn't mean that they are instantly deranged, non-functional members of our society.


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## Fleetfoot (May 9, 2011)

I don't really know. To be honest it does nothing for me except me making WTF faces at my partner and pushing him off of me. 

But I did find this:
Erotic asphyxiation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

PS: missed the following 4 pages of posts.


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## SilentScream (Mar 31, 2011)

knittigan said:


> This. It's pretty hard to deny how much you trust someone if you're letting them put their hands around your neck while you're in an already somewhat compromising* position.
> 
> *Naked? I guess it's not necessarily a requisite condition... no one's saying you have to take your clothes off.


It's also one of those things that people find erotic on its own [without the sex]. Being an inherent dom, I like the feeling of being in control of my partner up to the point she's willing to accept that control and derive pleasure from it. The compromising position could be anything from being tied to a chair, to suspended from the ceiling etc. Point being ... choking by itself can be highly erotic as a from of mental subjugation with physical interplay without even intercourse.

For me sex is both mental as well as physical and can be in isolation as well. That is, I can derive a great deal of sexual satisfaction from simply giving sex where my satisfaction lies in the idea that I've given pleasure to my partner - therefore if choking is something that my partner can derive sexual satisfaction from - I can derive mine from that.

That said .. all of this is already just mental for me .. because I've never been in a physical relationship with a submissive ... so perhaps the real experience may differ from my idea of it - however, I have experienced giving without receiving and have derived a lot of satisfaction from just bringing my partner to orgasm.


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## JenovaProject (Oct 6, 2011)

A lot tends to happen when youre losing oxygen...they can all lead to something of an awesome "high"..For some, this is the sole prize..or rather..part of it. A lot of people like to experience sex and release while they are under the influence of certain drugs sometimes, it really isnt so different. Just offering another point of view. 
There is a huge difference between real asphyxiation and simulation or "play" choking. Answers and reasons will typically vary depending on the fetish, because they arent the same.


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## twoofthree (Aug 6, 2011)

I don't get that. 
Anyone attempting to choke me during sex will probably find themselves up for rape charges (especially if there are bruises).
My consent to sexual activity does not extend to physical violence.



skycloud86 said:


> I don't know, but it was one of Vincent Tabak's fetishes. He eventually murdered Joanna Yeates a couple of years ago, it was a big story here in the UK.


He also had a fetish about driving around with gagged and bound women in the boot of his car. 



Tristan Rhodes said:


> I actually found what he said to be quite interesting.
> 
> Topic : Choking during sex.
> 
> ...


I thought what he said had some relevance too. But his inability to expand on it or to respond to redmanXNTP 's questions was disappointing.

I think that someone with that fetish is more likely to kill someone, if only by accident. You're more likely to choke someone to death if you were choking them in the first place.

Mr. Tabak did claim that the death was accidental. He never denied killing her.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

twoofthree said:


> I thought what he said had some relevance too. But his inability to expand on it or to respond to redmanXNTP 's questions was disappointing.
> 
> I think that someone with that fetish is more likely to kill someone, if only by accident. You're more likely to choke someone to death if you were choking them in the first place.
> 
> Mr. Tabak did claim that the death was accidental. He never denied killing her.


Of _course_ he claimed it was accidental - he was up for murder charges and I think they had a bunch of physical and other evidence pointing to his involvement that he couldn't refute, leading to the classic consensual sex + accident defense to a rape & murder charge. 

That's why I reject the Tabak comparison here. It's no comparison at all. 

As for accidents, yes, there's a greater possibility for accidental asphyxiation, but what I was referring to of course was murder or at least manslaughter with some criminal intent and/or psychological pathology behind it. 

I think a key distinction here is that the erotic asphyxiation we're discussing here has to do with pleasure derived by the submissive (and presumably their partner too, though that's actually not necessary). OTOH, for someone like Tabak it's all about him and his dominance, and in fact it's likely that the fact that the victim did not consent and gets no pleasure from it and is actually suffering is part of his sadistic pleasure.


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## Tristan427 (Dec 9, 2011)

redmanXNTP said:


> Of _course_ he claimed it was accidental - he was up for murder charges and I think they had a bunch of physical and other evidence pointing to his involvement that he couldn't refute, leading to the classic consensual sex + accident defense to a rape & murder charge.
> 
> That's why I reject the Tabak comparison here. It's no comparison at all.
> 
> ...


You have no evidence he intended murder. That is an assumption.

You don't have proof the victim didn't want it either. Plus, the victim was his girlfriend, and she was wearing an outfit he saw in a porno. It was consensual. 

Read up on the case before making any other comments.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

Tristan Rhodes said:


> You have no evidence he intended murder. That is an assumption.
> 
> You don't have proof the victim didn't want it either. Plus, the victim was his girlfriend, and she was wearing an outfit he saw in a porno. It was consensual.
> 
> Read up on the case before making any other comments.


Every syllable you wrote is wrong.

I've got a developed and established and open judicial process, based upon due process in a major Western nation, supporting what I've written. I don't know what you've got to support your naked assertions as you've not indicated it (though I strongly suspect it fits neatly inside your bum) so I'd love to see your evidence.


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## Tristan427 (Dec 9, 2011)

redmanXNTP said:


> Every syllable you wrote is wrong.
> 
> I've got a developed and established and open judicial process, based upon due process in a major Western nation, supporting what I've written. I don't know what you've got to support your naked assertions as you've not indicated it (though I strongly suspect it fits neatly inside your bum) so I'd love to see your evidence.



It appears I mixed up Greg and Tabak. However you made the post without presenting the evidence first. How was I supposed to know you knew what you were talking about? Most of the time you're too busy insulting members.
He was on topic. The guy choked Joanna, he had a asphyxiation fetish obviously. The topic was choking women during sex, a member remembered this case because it involved a woman being choked during sex, and he posted. 

Then you just started insulting him, saying things like how it must bother him to mess up on logic as an INTP. I've seen you insult several members across this forum and I have grown tired of it, so I posted. Accuracy of case information was secondary, proving it was on topic was primary. Several other members have also said how what he said was relevant. So stop insulting members without provocation.

And no, every syllable was not wrong. You still have no evidence he INTENDED murder.


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

Tristan Rhodes said:


> It appears I mixed up Greg and Tabak. However you made the post without presenting the evidence first. How was I supposed to know you knew what you were talking about? Most of the time you're too busy insulting members.
> He was on topic. The guy choked Joanna, he had a asphyxiation fetish obviously. The topic was choking women during sex, a member remembered this case because it involved a woman being choked during sex, and he posted.
> 
> And no, every syllable was not wrong. You still have no evidence he INTENDED murder.
> ...


LOL! You admitted you were wrong about what was being discussed (and BTW, Tabak was mentioned before - go back and read), and yet I'm "insulting" you for pointing it out. Brilliant. 

I pointed out how the person who first mentioned Tabak (again, by name, not Greg or anyone else) admitted that (s)he didn't feel that enjoying (administering, as the "dominant) choking during consenting sex makes you more likely to murder someone, which means that even they couldn't explain the relevance of Tabak here. 

My evidence of his intent is his conviction. What do you have in reply? "Waaaaah, I don't like the evidence, therefore I'll deny it!" 

My "provocation" is your repeated errors here. Honestly, do better. ( <---------- this is insulting, but you've earned it.)


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## Dalton_C (Jun 2, 2011)

The Great One said:


> What's up with this? I've never tried this during sex myself and I never will. Why on Earth do some men enjoy taking their hands and choking out a woman during sex, and why do some women enjoy men doing it to them?


I've only done it because she liked it like that. She also had a blood fetish so I don't think that was the worst of her sexual desires. lol


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## Tristan427 (Dec 9, 2011)

redmanXNTP said:


> LOL! You admitted you were wrong about what was being discussed (and BTW, Tabak was mentioned before - go back and read), and yet I'm "insulting" you for pointing it out. Brilliant.
> 
> I pointed out how the person who first mentioned Tabak (again, by name, not Greg or anyone else) admitted that (s)he didn't feel that enjoying (administering, as the "dominant) choking during consenting sex makes you more likely to murder someone, which means that even they couldn't explain the relevance of Tabak here.
> 
> ...


You didn't insult me previously. I noted how you insulted other members. The main discussion for me at least, is what the member posted is actually relevant. I stated the details of the case were secondary. Your reading skills are almost as good as a 3rd grader. Here's a gold star. ( Response to first insult so far. ) 










Murder is killing with the intent to kill. Choking during sex increases the chances of accident, which is what Tabak claimed her death was. Seeing as those were his claims, they brought the case to the mind of that member. 

I never said I didn't like the evidence, however you say he had the intent to kill. You were not inside his mind, you weren't there. I never stated I denied the evidence of what he did. I stated you had no evidence he had the INTENT to murder. 

My provocation, is you bullying other members. Not me, other members. Not just him, other members. I said that more than once to give you more practice at reading.


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

Dalton_C said:


> I've only done it because she liked it like that. She also had a blood fetish so I don't think that was the worst of her sexual desires. lol


Oh God. How did that work?


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## Dalton_C (Jun 2, 2011)

The Great One said:


> Oh God. How did that work?


She was sexual aroused by the taste of human blood. She used to bite my lips to get the taste of blood. A lot of biting actually. I still have small scars on my neck. 
Saying that it was a bad relationship is an understatement. 
I was almost 16 and she was almost 20. 
It fucked me up for a long time. 
And before you ask why I did it... 
I'm a very normal, kind and decent guy. 
But, I'll do anything to please someone. Especially a girl I like. 
Which in that situation, was extremely abusive to me and dangerous. 
(Yeah, that shit got pretty real there lol)


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

Dalton_C said:


> She was sexual aroused by the taste of human blood. She used to bite my lips to get the taste of blood. A lot of biting actually. I still have small scars on my neck.
> Saying that it was a bad relationship is an understatement.
> I was almost 16 and she was almost 20.
> It fucked me up for a long time.
> ...


I'd tell her to take her Twilight ass elsewhere and to get the hell out of my life.


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## sameer6 (Sep 15, 2010)

The Great One said:


> What's up with this? I've never tried this during sex myself and I never will. Why on Earth do some men enjoy taking their hands and choking out a woman during sex, and why do some women enjoy men doing it to them?


It's just.. not everyone likes the same...


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## GoodOldDreamer (Sep 8, 2011)

While I would never be inclined in the slightest to do this to my SO on my own, I suppose I could if she wanted me to. The mood of the moment would be instantly killed for me though, so it'd kinda be pointless. P


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## KittyKraz13 (Jan 3, 2012)

It's like a drug, complete with a rush and addiction. Some people choke themselves without sex/masturbation, because of the rush and giddiness that follows.


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## Autumn Raven (Jun 28, 2011)

I like a hand on the mouth, but I can't say that I'm a fan of being completely choked.
We all have our preferences. They needn't any explanation. So long as all parties are in agreement, I don't see it being an issue.
Besides- The reasons for having a taste for asphyxiophilia (or any other sexual act considered taboo) differ from person to person.


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## Where Love Died Laughing (Jan 5, 2012)

KittyKraz13 said:


> It's like a drug, complete with a rush and addiction. Some people choke themselves without sex/masturbation, because of the rush and giddiness that follows.


Yeah, that worked out great for David Carradine...


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## Vexilla Regis (May 4, 2011)

To each his own, but for me -- NO THANK YOU!!!


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## KittyKraz13 (Jan 3, 2012)

Where Love Died Laughing said:


> Yeah, that worked out great for David Carradine...


Your emoticon at the end did it for me. :laughing:

But yes, I definitely wouldn't _recommend _ choking ones self, but I can see why they do it. It's like drugs; the high is what they're after, but I certainly would never partake in it.


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## Where Love Died Laughing (Jan 5, 2012)

KittyKraz13 said:


> Your emoticon at the end did it for me. :laughing:
> 
> But yes, I definitely wouldn't _recommend _ choking ones self, but I can see why they do it. It's like drugs; the high is what they're after, but I certainly would never partake in it.


Yeah, I agree. To each his own, but I find sex enough of a high without the potentially lethal stuff in there. 

And come on, let's be honest. Hs death was viewed as rather comical by most. 
72 year old hanging from a closet of a Thai hotel after he accidentally choked himself? You laughed at that... Admit it. 


... No, but seriously now. Can't that choking stuff cause brain damage if you do it a lot?


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## twoofthree (Aug 6, 2011)

Where Love Died Laughing said:


> ... No, but seriously now. Can't that choking stuff cause brain damage if you do it a lot?


hmmm. maybe that's why they do it? lol


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## KittyKraz13 (Jan 3, 2012)

Where Love Died Laughing said:


> Yeah, I agree. To each his own, but I find sex enough of a high without the potentially lethal stuff in there.
> 
> And come on, let's be honest. Hs death was viewed as rather comical by most.
> 72 year old hanging from a closet of a Thai hotel after he accidentally choked himself? You laughed at that... Admit it.
> ...


I did laugh. I totally sealed my ticket for Hell by doing it, I'm sure. XD And yes, so true, why people feel they need more will forever blow my mind. And according to this one website, it definitely can. "Depending on how long the brain and body are deprived of oxygen, brain damage could occur even if death does not. A person participating in AEA also risks lacerating, cutting, or bruising their neck, depending on the suffocation or strangulation technique used."

Medicinenet also says "even if you don't have an accident and die, asphyxia causes permanent brain damage over time."

...sticking to regular sex forever. B)


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

Where Love Died Laughing said:


> Yeah, that worked out great for David Carradine...


Thank you so much! He was my inspiration for this thread.


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## Mooncutter (Jul 28, 2011)

*I always choke my girls. *I tend to do it softly and romantically at first, then go harder and stronger as the sex builds. I haven't met a woman so far who didn't like it. It is a firm grip, it does not prevent her from breating so technichally it isn't choking but it is a "choking grip" with the hand(s). What woman does NOT like to be held tightly? What woman does NOT like her arms pinned down? What woman does NOT like to be taken, ravished?


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## 7rr7s (Jun 6, 2011)

Choking is fine as long as it's consensual. And Although I've never choked like a death grip on a woman, I have choked them like a strong grip on their neck where they can still breathe -enough to get the effect. They liked it and demanded more of it, so to each their own. I see nothing wrong with it, and dominance in the bedroom is kinky to many women so why not.


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## knittigan (Sep 2, 2011)

Mooncutter:2076967 said:


> *I always choke my girls. *I tend to do it softly and romantically at first, then go harder and stronger as the sex builds. I haven't met a woman so far who didn't like it. It is a firm grip, it does not prevent her from breating so technichally it isn't choking but it is a "choking grip" with the hand(s). What woman does NOT like to be held tightly? What woman does NOT like her arms pinned down? What woman does NOT like to be taken, ravished?


Women who have experienced rape. Congratulations, that's the most disturbing thing I've read in a while.


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## twoofthree (Aug 6, 2011)

Mooncutter said:


> *I always choke my girls. *I tend to do it softly and romantically at first, then go harder and stronger as the sex builds. I haven't met a woman so far who didn't like it. It is a firm grip, it does not prevent her from breating so technichally it isn't choking but it is a "choking grip" with the hand(s). What woman does NOT like to be held tightly? What woman does NOT like her arms pinned down? What woman does NOT like to be taken, ravished?


I can say that no guy has ever done that to me.

But then you can usually tell a lot about a person by the time you bed them.

And I'm certain that it's clear to most that I wouldn't appreciate it.

If a man wants to ravish me, then he can ravish me with his head between my thighs.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

knittigan said:


> Women who have experienced rape. Congratulations, that's the most disturbing thing I've read in a while.


You're assuming that his description involves non-consensual sex. I quite enjoy what he described. Rape..is more than a bit far fetched.


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## Mooncutter (Jul 28, 2011)

twoofthree said:


> I can say that no guy has ever done that to me.
> 
> But then you can usually tell a lot about a person by the time you bed them.
> 
> ...


True. Generally, I have placed my hands on their throat while kissing before going to bed


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## Mooncutter (Jul 28, 2011)

knittigan said:


> Women who have experienced rape. Congratulations, that's the most disturbing thing I've read in a while.


Believe me when I say the line between rape and choking sex is thicker than the equator
(as drawn on maps that is, very thick =)


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## twoofthree (Aug 6, 2011)

Boss said:


> You're assuming that his description involves non-consensual sex. I quite enjoy what he described. Rape..is more than a bit far fetched.


I think she means that someone who's experienced rape in the past, may not appreciate being choked. . . even if it's consensual sex.

He's not raping her, but his actions (hands around throat) would be disturbing to someone who's had a traumatic experience in the past.


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## twoofthree (Aug 6, 2011)

Mooncutter said:


> True. Generally, I have placed my hands on their throat while kissing before going to bed


I would suspect that you would've 'typed' them long before you kissed them.

We're usually attracted to certain types - in your case it seems to submissive women. So you probably pick up on that vibe and date/pursue them.

So you probably wouldn't approach someone like me, as I give off the "don't even think about it" vibe.


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## knittigan (Sep 2, 2011)

> I think she means that someone who's experienced rape in the past, may not appreciate being choked. . . even if it's consensual sex.
> 
> He's not raping her, but his actions (hands around throat) would be disturbing to someone who's had a traumatic experience in the past.


@Boss, @Mooncutter, this is exactly what I meant. Sorry for the ambiguity. I also enjoy my boyfriend being in and around my neck area in addition to several very interesting areas of non-vanilla sex, but I was responding to the tone in the rhetorical questions. Regardless of whether it is consensual or not, whether it is within the context of a pre-established relationship or not, that's a dangerous attitude to approach anyone with, particularly insofar as putting your hands around someone's neck unexpectedly can be frightening and, in what I was alluding to with my previous comment, _very triggering_ for someone who has experienced sexual violence that you may not know about, so it may not be a good idea to approach women with the following assumptions 



> What woman does NOT like to be held tightly? What woman does NOT like her arms pinned down? What woman does NOT like to be taken, ravished?


The answer is _plenty_ of women, those who have experienced sexual violence being only a subset of that population.

Thanks for elaborating, @twoofthree!


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

Where Love Died Laughing said:


> Yeah, that worked out great for David Carradine...


And Michael Hutchence...

It's more dangerous when you do it alone apparently, which makes sense if your escape mechanism doesn't work because nobody can help you. That's all based upon what I've read however - I'm not into autoerotic asphyxiation.


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## Master Mind (Aug 15, 2011)

I suppose to each his or her own, but speaking strictly for myself, I cannot understand how this would be pleasurable in any way. Why on earth would I have any desire to choke someone that I care about, and especially when being intimate? WTF?


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## Ian.yclept (Nov 20, 2011)

changos said:


> On a personal note, perhaps this are some manifestations of... trying to find balance?
> I don't know how to explain it... I've found an interesting pattern. There are some super sweet girls, quiet, peaceful, even shy, that I've found incredibily naughty (guess that's the word), just in case, another two: *intense and wild* in bed. I mean, just like if all the peacefullnes gets manifested more than often and save the wild energy for later.
> 
> I'll try a diff way: most girls are black, several levels of gray and white. Some stay on the white extreme, others on the black (at times) but a lot of the sweet girls are pure black and white, no shades of gray.


I've seen the same thing, but prefer the word "reserved", which implies that something is being held back in the day-to-day. Some people have hidden anger, dark sides, love the feel of power or wildness, others revel in danger, want to feel bad, enjoy feeling over-powered. Part of true intimacy is revealing all of yourself, including the secret parts, and being accepted for them.

My experience is that sex is much better with some depth-bringing context, whether it's elevated into a tantric spiritual experience or degraded into something primal. Other experiences are flat, by comparison. Incidentally, I'd guess this would break upon MBTI lines, Ni and Fi? N's vs. S's?


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## Peripheral (Jan 8, 2011)

When they ask for it, I like to surprise her with a rear naked choke into unconsciousness.


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