# Introverted Extrovert or Extroverted Introvert? Or Anxious Extrovert?



## goodgracesbadinfluence (Feb 28, 2011)

Lately I've been rather confused about myself and I vs. E. Why? I just don't seem as introverted as most introverts I know IRL and on here. Sometimes I feel like my ENFP boyfriend is more introverted than I am, honestly. 

What made me reach this conclusion? Well, for starters, I am absolutely not okay spending days on end without human contact. My best weekends _always_ involve time spent with other people, preferably many different people. For example, on Friday I hung out with my best friend, then Saturday I hung out with someone else then went to a bonfire, then went to my boyfriend's house and spent all day today with him and his family for Easter. It was a pretty awesome weekend and I really didn't feel drained at all. 

But I lack the ability to walk up to a random stranger at school and just make conversation. If someone starts talking to me, I'm usually okay after a few minutes and can talk to them unless stuff starts getting too personal too quickly. I don't speak up much in class, nor do I actively seek out conversation with those around me. Although I would _like_ to do both of those things, but I think anxiety inhibits me. 

I also really do need my alone time, but spending a couple days without hanging out with my friends or going out would be complete and utter misery. I usually get depressed if I don't have anything to do for a couple of days. But like I could never have a roommate because that would piss me off. Like if we had to sleep/be in the same room all the time. 

I'm extremely introspective though, and I'm constantly trying to figure myself out and who I am. I like to reflect on myself, but I also don't understand why introspection is related with introversion. 

I don't like to work in groups, which is another trait associated with introversion. But it isn't because I don't want to talk to them, it's because I want to do something MY way and I don't want to deal with other people not agreeing with me or not pulling their weight or something. Going out with a group of people, different story... as long as they don't completely ignore me. I'm absolutely 100% fine with hanging out with a big group as long as I don't get ignored. 

Right, this is getting long enough so... ask question as needed and make your judgment. Woot.


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## Consistently Inconsistent (Feb 22, 2011)

I think you're an extrovert, because your introverted traits sound more NT traits to me.


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## goodgracesbadinfluence (Feb 28, 2011)

Consistently Inconsistent said:


> I think you're an extrovert, because your introverted traits sound more NT traits to me.


How do I know which traits are NT traits as opposed to introverted traits?


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## myexplodingcat (Feb 6, 2011)

goodgracesbadinfluence said:


> I'm extremely introspective though, and I'm constantly trying to figure myself out and who I am. I like to reflect on myself, but I also don't understand why introspection is related with introversion.


Extroverts need an external point of reference to figure out who they are. Introverts have personas for their social life, and they know the difference between their True Self and their What People See masks.

You sound like an extroverted introvert, or an extroverted NT. ENPs are the most introverted of the extroverts, ENFPs particularly but ENTPs coming in pretty close. You could be a ENTP


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## goodgracesbadinfluence (Feb 28, 2011)

myexplodingcat said:


> Extroverts need an external point of reference to figure out who they are. Introverts have personas for their social life, and they know the difference between their True Self and their What People See masks.
> 
> You sound like an extroverted introvert, or an extroverted NT. ENPs are the most introverted of the extroverts, ENFPs particularly but ENTPs coming in pretty close. You could be a ENTP


By that description I am SO an extrovert. Although I don't fit the ENTP mould very well.


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## phantom_cat (Jan 1, 2011)

goodgracesbadinfluence said:


> By that description I am SO an extrovert. Although I don't fit the ENTP mould very well.


you're not gonna fit a description perfectly. going by functions is much more accurate. are you sure about the NTP though?


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## goodgracesbadinfluence (Feb 28, 2011)

phantom_cat said:


> you're not gonna fit a description perfectly. going by functions is much more accurate. are you sure about the NTP though?


Yes. I test borderline N/S sometimes, but I relate really well to the INTPs on here and I fit all those descriptions. And the only thing I know about functions is that Fe and Se are pretty much foreign concepts to me and I rarely use them, and I'm pretty sure I have a strong Ti. I don't really understand the functions because there is not a satisfactory description of them anywhere.


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## phantom_cat (Jan 1, 2011)

goodgracesbadinfluence said:


> Yes. I test borderline N/S sometimes, but I relate really well to the INTPs on here and I fit all those descriptions. And the only thing I know about functions is that Fe and Se are pretty much foreign concepts to me and I rarely use them, and I'm pretty sure I have a strong Ti. I don't really understand the functions because there is not a satisfactory description of them anywhere.


you could be a mild INTP/ENTP.


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## myexplodingcat (Feb 6, 2011)

Introverted Thinking


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## pmj85 (Jul 31, 2010)

Isn't social anxiety a typical trait of some extroverts? I'm _far_ from an expert but as I understand it, introverts really don't care that much about making connections with people around them - they're happy doing their own thing; wanting to speak to people but being a bit nervous about doing so sounds, to me and my limited experience, like a shy extrovert. Apparently they can exist!

If it makes you feel any better, I question my E/I all the time. It's a fools errand though - I'm definitely an extrovert. I also introspect a lot and quite often, I simply can't be arsed speaking to people or making conversations. What always swings it for me is how incredibly stimulated I am by interacting with groups of people (or even one on one in lesser cases.) I can have relatively low energy before interacting with others but then I start to perk up during interaction. When I leave the group, I leave absolutely fizzing with energy and almost always incredibly happy.

I'm far removed from the 'chatty as all hell' stereotypical extrovert, mind. It takes me a good few alcoholic beverages before I come out of my shell fully... at which point I can definitely be referred to as 'life of the party'. My friends like to get me drunk as often as they can 

But yeah, I reckon you're like me - a fairly shy extrovert. Hope some of that rant made sense


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## BroNerd (Nov 27, 2010)

I would argue that a lot of Introverts suffer from social anxiety as well. This is because "introverted" and "antisocial" are not the same thing. There are many Introverts who want to socialize with others but recognize that their personality traits give them a "disadvantage" in the social world.


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## BroNerd (Nov 27, 2010)

Introspection is related to Introversion and Intuition. 
From your posts, I would say that you are likely an Extrovert..weak on the E/I scale though and possibly an Introvert. 
An importan question, when you spend time alone do you feel deprived from a "lack of human contact" or do you moreso feel bored?
I can come across as very extroverted at times because of that. 
I like the time I spend alone but I get bored easily and seek human contact partially to alleviate that boredom..


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## goodgracesbadinfluence (Feb 28, 2011)

pmj85 said:


> Isn't social anxiety a typical trait of some extroverts? I'm _far_ from an expert but as I understand it, introverts really don't care that much about making connections with people around them - they're happy doing their own thing; wanting to speak to people but being a bit nervous about doing so sounds, to me and my limited experience, like a shy extrovert. Apparently they can exist!
> 
> If it makes you feel any better, I question my E/I all the time. It's a fools errand though - I'm definitely an extrovert. I also introspect a lot and quite often, I simply can't be arsed speaking to people or making conversations. What always swings it for me is how incredibly stimulated I am by interacting with groups of people (or even one on one in lesser cases.) I can have relatively low energy before interacting with others but then I start to perk up during interaction. When I leave the group, I leave absolutely fizzing with energy and almost always incredibly happy.
> 
> ...


It definitely did. I never really thought about it that way. I'm not as introverted as my two introverted best friends. One is also borderline, but she often can't be arsed to give a damn about people. The other is like super introverted and is perfectly fine staying locked in her room up to her ears with schoolwork or with her nose in a book. For like weeks. I would probably go mad. 

I really only question it because I relate SO well to INTPs, and not so much to ENTPs. And like I said I'm not as introverted as most introverts.


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## goodgracesbadinfluence (Feb 28, 2011)

BroNerd said:


> Introspection is related to Introversion and Intuition.
> From your posts, I would say that you are likely an Extrovert..weak on the E/I scale though and possibly an Introvert.
> An importan question, when you spend time alone do you feel deprived from a "lack of human contact" or do you moreso feel bored?
> I can come across as very extroverted at times because of that.
> I like the time I spend alone but I get bored easily and seek human contact partially to alleviate that boredom..


I get kinda bored when I spend alone time but I can usually find something to alleviate that boredom, be it video games, reading, exercising or going out. I greatly value my alone time and solitude, and what I want greatly depends on my mood at the present moment. Yesterday I found myself in a mood where every little thing bothered me so I stayed in my room most of the day. But without some form of human contact, I still would've been sorta depressed so I texted friends all day. I hope this answers the question.


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## BroNerd (Nov 27, 2010)

goodgracesbadinfluence said:


> I get kinda bored when I spend alone time but I can usually find something to alleviate that boredom, be it video games, reading, exercising or going out. I greatly value my alone time and solitude, and what I want greatly depends on my mood at the present moment. Yesterday I found myself in a mood where every little thing bothered me so I stayed in my room most of the day. But without some form of human contact, I still would've been sorta depressed so I texted friends all day. I hope this answers the question.


My feeling is that you are an I and not an E. Not all Introverts are hermits but all Introverts truly enjoy alone time and solitude. 
I know many Introverts (including myself) who are also very active texters. Texting is more like "writing" than "speaking". 
I think you are pretty close on the I/E scale though but an Introvert nevertheless.


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## christmaslover (Nov 1, 2010)

Wow, you sound really like me in many ways. I am an ENFP, but even though I am an extrovert I also HATE group works for the excact same reasons as you, and I think/ reflect a lot. If you feel like your best weekens always involve people, you are probably extroverted. I know a lot of introverts and they love to spend some days alone, while I get "depressed" like you said. 

I think it is a myth that extrovert people don't think and reflect that much, even thoug I am almost 100 % extrovert and want to be with people 24/7 I am thinking, reflecting and brooding ALL DAY LONG. It is fully possible.


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## WeirderThanYou (Oct 16, 2015)

You sound exactly like me. You're an ENFP that may have social anxiety (or is just shy). I know you're not an ENTP because that's what I am and honestly you just don't fit it... especially if you can be in a relationship with an ENFP for two days without strangling them.


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## Pabz DC (Jan 9, 2013)

pmj85 said:


> Isn't social anxiety a typical trait of some extroverts? I'm _far_ from an expert but as I understand it, introverts really don't care that much about making connections with people around them - they're happy doing their own thing; wanting to speak to people but being a bit nervous about doing so sounds, to me and my limited experience, like a shy extrovert. Apparently they can exist!
> 
> If it makes you feel any better, I question my E/I all the time. It's a fools errand though - I'm definitely an extrovert. I also introspect a lot and quite often, I simply can't be arsed speaking to people or making conversations. What always swings it for me is how incredibly stimulated I am by interacting with groups of people (or even one on one in lesser cases.) I can have relatively low energy before interacting with others but then I start to perk up during interaction. When I leave the group, I leave absolutely fizzing with energy and almost always incredibly happy.
> 
> ...


no worries this post made a lot of sense too... I guess sharing your own experience of it makes me understand my own too... Thanks a lot too...ive really connected to a lot of the comments here...


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## Pabz DC (Jan 9, 2013)

christmaslover said:


> Wow, you sound really like me in many ways. I am an ENFP, but even though I am an extrovert I also HATE group works for the excact same reasons as you, and I think/ reflect a lot. If you feel like your best weekens always involve people, you are probably extroverted. I know a lot of introverts and they love to spend some days alone, while I get "depressed" like you said.
> 
> I think it is a myth that extrovert people don't think and reflect that much, even thoug I am almost 100 % extrovert and want to be with people 24/7 I am thinking, reflecting and brooding ALL DAY LONG. It is fully possible.


WHAT? But, but, although spending time alone researching about my personality, a certain hobby, weekends or weeks of book reading, is an ideal weekend as well....but after doing months of reading, i suddenly feel bloated from all the research and then actively look for people too. 

What irks me though is not being able to use that burst of energy we enfps have when we do need it...hahaha such as not having energy to vibe with someone flirting with you... Wait maybe its just me being anxious hahahaha...but yeah, its the thought of not having a consistent bubbling energy to converse and keep the discussion flowing that makes me somewhat overthink.


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## Grain of Sugar (Sep 17, 2013)

Do you realize that the quote is more than 3 years old? :wink:


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## Prada (Sep 10, 2015)

Being introverted or extroverted has nothing to do with how you spend time. It's all about how you get and use up energy. Introverts get energy from being alone and social interactions will tire them (even with people they enjoy hanging around, it will just take longer). While extroverts get energised by social activities. 

For example, I could stay up all night if I was at a social gathering (party, group meeting, etc.), I literally wouldn't feel tired or sleepy. Introverts I know (very outgoing) will need to take a break at least for half an hour to recharge so they usually disappear after some time and later reappear. They will also get tired faster and usually want to be gone from social gatherings after 1am or even earlier.


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