# Why are introverts introverts?



## Munchies (Jun 22, 2009)

pluto said:


> I know exactly what you meant. I responded to that. I was adding some extra ideas.


haha srry about that. some good stuff indeed ill keep that in mind. Maybe some people force themselves to be something their not because of past experiences, or maybe it actually does change the natural personality.... i guess it could be both depending on the factors.


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## starri (Jan 23, 2009)

I haven't read all the replies in this thread, so I apologize in advance if this seems redundant.

In my personal experience I find that extroversion =|= self esteem. In fact I find that extroverts with low self esteem and anxiety problems mask as introverts and those are the ones that give the introverts a bad name.

In rl I have alot of introverted friends whom I didn't know they were introverted until they took the MBTI test. The state of being an introvert simply implies that you're primary function is an introverted one, being buckled up at home all the time is not the norm for introverts. (not the healthy thing, anyway) 

I don't like the stereotype that extroverts are out partying every night with no inner structure or the stereotype that an introvert is someone who is home alone all the time.

My dad is an introvert and he goes out as much as my mom who is a very high extrovert. The differences are barely noticeable because he is healthy. My INFJ friend needs some days alone to replenish her energy when she feels worn down, but otherwise she is very socially smart and is keen about her social relations. Alot of university professors are introverts and they do a very good job talking and coming off as very confident socially.


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## pluto (Jun 2, 2009)

Munchies said:


> haha srry about that. some good stuff indeed ill keep that in mind. Maybe some people force themselves to be something their not because of past experiences, or maybe it actually does change the natural personality.... i guess it could be both depending on the factors.


Yep, I do think some people are forced due to their circumstances, or by those they are surrounded by, to act in opposition to their inherent personalities. Imagine a feeler child who is raised in a family of thinkers, who is not accepted by their own family, and is pressured to be something different. Or an introvert child raised in a family of loud extraverts, who is constantly ridiculed and has no privacy or quiet time. But I don't believe it actually changes their innate personality, and the experts who have studied personality say it does not change, but only that we can adopt some of our less dominate traits, although obviously not without it causing stress.


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

Come on now munchies. Your an entp. You should know better.


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## Psilo (Apr 29, 2009)

Since the prefrontal cortex is the most recently evolved portion of the brain, and since introversion is thought to be related to higher activity in said region, I'm asserting that introverts are actually more evolved than you primitive extroverts and your need for silly external stimulus. 

Put that fallacy in your pipe and smoke it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

Psilo you're a crazy maniac infp. And I like it.


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## So Long So Long (Jun 6, 2009)

I like being introverted. :mellow:


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## Kokos (Dec 28, 2008)

It's really hard to explain, personally i think this is because i've grown up as an only child with my two parents being introverted. So i had to find my own fun, not seeing much people at one time etc


I'm not anti social at all, i actually love to meet new people. But not for the sake of meeting someone new and change, but more to find someone interesting with who i can share interesting experiences and construct a deep friendship.

I have not much acquaintances, and i'm usually very bad at managing them. Usually when i'm at a party and that someone present me a friend of a friend, i can spend 2 hours with the person discussing to get to know them, this is what interest me. But when i am in a group and that i have to relate to the group making jokes or throwing arguments, i can do it because i learned to, but i find that way less interesting, and ironically i actually find that there is less human interaction in that type of situation. 

I'm more into groups of 3 or 4 people where everyone know each others and can discuss/debate interesting subjects the whole evening. Chill and drink some good whisky ... ahhhh  ( and i definitely love more that than being alone )

But personally i do need to see people otherwise i rot like an old tomato , something like 1day socializing - 1day alone - 1day socializing - 1day alone

And not too much social interaction or i become very tired.


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## themuzicman (Jul 13, 2009)

We hate being around all the 'ExFx's who do nothing but chatter and talk about nothing as though it matters. It's boring and taxing.


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## s1ng4m3 (Jun 29, 2009)

themuzicman said:


> We hate being around all the 'ExFx's who do nothing but chatter and talk about nothing as though it matters. It's boring and taxing.


Probably my hardest combination to deal with, those EFs. Remind me not to date one again...or at least not for a while.


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## pianopraze (Jun 29, 2009)

Peace-3PO said:


> there a lot more interesting things to do than BS with a bunch of strangers or superficial acquaintances. i like to go out every once in a while, and every other blue moon or so i'll be the life of the party- the kind of party you don't forget


+1

*woot* you go peace!



pluto said:


> In a forum like this, the answer to those questions should already be obvious to you. I find parties to be a boring, shallow waste of time.
> 
> ... annoyed at my introversion, think I should change, or who suggest there might be something wrong with introverts. These stereotypes and attitudes toward introverts have been going on for ages (ever since the extravert Freud, in all his delusional wisdom, declared us "mentally ill"), and it's way beyond old now.


+1

I think I like you!



thehigher said:


> Psilo you're a crazy maniac infp. And I like it.


+1 

psilo is my hero!



pluto said:


> Imagine a feeler child who is raised in a family of thinkers.....


I don't have to imagine much... I got the memories! *ouch*


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

Munchies said:


> Does Extroversion = Confidence? Does introversion = low self esteem?
> 
> 
> 
> So introverts... "WHY" is it you would rather be home alone than out to a party sometimes? Could it be because you are shy? Antisocial? fear you have nothing good to say or fear rejection, fear saying somthing and nobody listening? Why introverts? WHY!?!?!?!?


Because we beleive in quality over quantity. Talk is cheap, and gives us headaches. People suck the life out of us, and in my case, literally do that. And your post is the reason why I have a pathological hatred of E's.


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## Viktoria2 (Feb 15, 2009)

*Because introverts like to keep all of their brilliant thoughts to themselves and not share. DD:

*


> Because we beleive in quality over quantity. Talk is cheap, and gives us headaches. People suck the life out of us, and in my case, literally do that. And your post is the reason why I have a pathological hatred of E's.


*Are we really that bad? Ouchh. *


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

All the ones I know are. Leaving high school may be one of the best days of my life, and the only real world ENFP I know graduated to college, leaving me behind for another two years.


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## Nightriser (Nov 8, 2008)

mortabunt said:


> Because we beleive in quality over quantity. Talk is cheap, and gives us headaches. People suck the life out of us, and in my case, literally do that. And your post is the reason why I have a pathological hatred of E's.


I second most of this, except the hatred of extroverts. 



Viktoria said:


> *Because introverts like to keep all of their brilliant thoughts to themselves and not share. DD:
> 
> *


Thank you. roud:



> *Are we really that bad? Ouchh. *


A bunch are. I used to have an indiscriminate hatred of extroverts, owing to constant pushiness; they'd always be lecturing me about how I'm making my life harder for myself and that I need to "go with the flow." Fortunately, I met an extrovert who does not annoy me, and in fact is a deeply kindred spirit. Perhaps because he's pseudo-introverted. I appreciate him because he does not preach to me about how he's superior for being extroverted, because he respects and admires my introversion. He's the reason I am overcoming my prejudice. 


I think that introverts are introverted for a variety of reasons, but I think it boils down to energy levels. I think I have always been worn out by interacting with others, but a number of factors have reinforced my introversion. In the beginning, it simply never occurred to me to socialize, most of the time. The other kids were not interesting, so why bother? Over the years, I have added more reasons to remain introverted, in all its aspects, but lack of interest and weariness have always been at the core.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

NIghtriser is totally INTP. /off topic post.


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## metrojrim (Jan 10, 2010)

personally, I'm just bad at mingling which is why I would rather stay at home -__- I don't have low self- confidence at all... It's my way of life etc.


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## parallel (Aug 18, 2009)

Munchies said:


> Does Extroversion = Confidence? Does introversion = low self esteem?
> 
> 
> 
> So introverts... "WHY" is it you would rather be home alone than out to a party sometimes? Could it be because you are shy? Antisocial? fear you have nothing good to say or fear rejection, fear saying something and nobody listening? Why introverts? WHY!?!?!?!?


It's none of those reasons; I prefer to be home over a party because the ones that tend to sprout up are filled with immature people that brag about how good they are at beer pong, who can smoke the most bowls, etc. I try to conserve my energy as I get fatigued rather quickly; parties and other social events are pretty exhausting. I'm at home in the mind, which is why I prefer, say, reading over going out on a Friday night. Switching that up from time to time is necessary though.


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## 0 1 1 2 3 5 8 13 21 34 (Nov 22, 2009)

One theory I read somewhere was that introverts were hypersensitive to stimuli from the external environment, so they go inward for sanctity. Likewise extroverts are hypersensitive to the thoughts inside their head and can be overwhelmed by them, so they look to the outer world for escape.


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## NotSoRighteousRob (Jan 1, 2010)

like pi said, I think sometimes being around a bunch of people can be overwhelming because it's sensory overload. I often feel this way, it's like I'm trying to take in too much information.


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## fiasco (Dec 25, 2009)

I'm not asocial, anxious, or overly self-conscious. It's the interaction rather than the environment that drains me. Things like having to kind of read the other person's mind (I wish people would just say what they mean!), having to be polite and ask about their personal lives and how they're doing even when I don't really care, laughing at jokes I don't find funny, and having to explain how I don't like making eye contact and the like gets really tiring after a while. I actually love being in public places though, and being around people can make me feel better. 

But I enjoy it the most when I don't have to interact too closely with them. Uncontrolled social events like going to carnivals, amusement parks, or sitting in movie theaters are the best. I think I could go anywhere by myself and have a better time than if I went with someone else. From the outside, this tends to look kind of crazy to some people I know -- especially those who think it's embarrassing to do those kinds of things alone.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

Munchies said:


> Does Extroversion = Confidence? Does introversion = low self esteem?
> 
> 
> 
> So introverts... "WHY" is it you would rather be home alone than out to a party sometimes? Could it be because you are shy? Antisocial? fear you have nothing good to say or fear rejection, fear saying somthing and nobody listening? Why introverts? WHY!?!?!?!?


Because it's not our natures to be highly social. These are the responses from each type when they were asked the question: "Why do you buy beer?"

ISTP: Because I can have more fun when I'm drunk,
ISFP: Because it makes me passionate
ISFJ: Because I don't wan't to be left out.
ISTJ: Because it's the propper thing to do.
INTP: Because it's interesting.
INTJ: Because I can't take over the brewery.
INFP: Because I want to make people happy by being more social,
INFJ: Because I can see peopel's true selves and help them.


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## djf863000 (Nov 7, 2009)

Yes I am shy, but it doesn't make me either E or I because of it. I know a few Es who are more shy than I am, especially around new people. For me I just love my time alone. Don't get me wrong, I don't stay home all the time. I like to go places and meet new people. I hate crowds though, but I love going to the mall. 

Most of my male relatives are usually very much Is, and you can go several generation back. And most of the ladies in my family are Es. Ixxx males seems to marry Exxx ladies in my family, for some reason, generation after generations. the only exeption I know of is my grandmother, who is an I, and my gg grandfather who was an E.


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## Just_Some_Guy (Oct 8, 2009)

*Why are Extroverts Extroverted?*

Does Introversion = Confidence? Does Extroversion = low self esteem? 



So extroverts... "WHY" is it you would rather be out at a party than home alone sometimes? Could it be because you are mentally dependent upon others? Afraid to be alone? fear you have nothing good to discover within, fear of actually listening to the nuances of your own mind? Why extroverts? WHY!?!?!?!?

This is the second time I’ve posted (or reposted) something like this. This time, let me officially declare it to be my personal agenda to stamp the idiotic notion that introverts are all depressed off the face of the earth. I find the notion insulting and very poorly thought out, especially in light of the fact that _the antithesis can always be raised against imbalanced extroverts. _ 

I think it is pretty obvious that our society favors extroversion while greatly neglecting introversion. Much like in a person, when one side is favored over the other in such an imbalanced way, the weaker trait is repressed and thrust into the shadow. Introversion is tragically the shadow of western culture. _This is a tremendous problem_! Self-cultivation and introspection is our birth right, leading to degrees of self-discovery and awakening that _western thought doesn’t even have words for_. Any time anyone does talk about it, it’s usually a Christian mystic, whose thoughts are intentionally dismissed by the church and generally beyond the understanding of a lay person because our society does not talk about the subjective experience. Everything is supposed to be “objective” in order for it to be “rational.” _This needs to be corrected for our own psychological health and for the health and longevity of our society_. 

It seems to me that an extrovert who is completely unaware of his/her introverted side can pass through life with little or no problems. If they suffer from a pathological fear of being alone, we call them “social” and “out going.” If they are incapable of functioning independently, we call them "team players" and "friendly," "clingy" at worst. If they have never invested a modicum of effort into understanding the nature of their own consciousness, they will never encounter a situation that will call them out for it. _This is a serious problem!_. 

The superiority of the extrovert is a myth that needs to be eradicated. I think we should all do our part to find our own balance and seriously investigate our personalities so that we can more instinctually recognize the balance and imbalance in others. 

So which is the superior trait? Both E and I, yet neither E nor I.


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## cardinalfire (Dec 10, 2009)

alizée le fluff said:


> My dad is an introvert and he goes out as much as my mom who is a very high extrovert. The differences are barely noticeable because he is healthy. My INFJ friend needs some days alone to replenish her energy when she feels worn down, but otherwise she is very socially smart and is keen about her social relations. Alot of university professors are introverts and they do a very good job talking and coming off as very confident socially.


For me Introverts are the ones who need to conserve energy, not to say they don't like company, it's just like the have a shield around them which encompasses everything that they are and being around others wears it down a bit.

I also know in my head what kind of subjects people will talk about, so in a way I prefer to wait between meeting people so that when I see people again I will be ready because I've noticed that being alone I can do what I want whereas (and this is slightly a hurtful thing to say) people never change and talk about things which just seem a bit boring. I want to talk about art, movies etc when I am out, dance with hot girls and have fun, for some reason everytime I am out a friend or two will hassle me with a problem or complain about how something in their life isn't perfect and rather than do anything about it they just sit and talk about it. This sounds awfully blunt and not very caring, it's just that I need time alone to do my own thing before I can be caring for others, and I really don't want to be hassled by everyones so called problems all the time, which I am sure they don't solve because they then get a kick out of complaining about it rather than taking responsibility. 

Plus some of my friends behaviours I either forget about or need a break from because they don't change much, and some of my character is stable though other times when I change they haven't and so I don't feel like I have much in common with them. Maybe I am too perfectionistic, though when I gave up drinking, my friends became less interesting, how can I hang around people who aren't like me, and of course they try and say 'go on have a drink' etc and only three of my friends have accepted it. So I am very careful about who I spend time with and where I spend it. 

Does anyone else find that when they meet their friends they talk about old events that happened in the past as if they are new? and I just want to be in the moment here. For example I'll be into a band meet a friend and then not see them for months and when I do they will talk about that old band or whatever it was we did at the time and even though months have passed I still remember it and don't feel the need to talk about it. Sometimes they keep repeating a joke which I didn't find funny to begin with.

I guess this is partly my fault as well because I never like to share a lot of what I am doing with my friends, though there are some people who when I talk about old things with it still sounds fresh and other people who when I speak to them.. bore me... and that is the blunt truth. I love them all the same its just I can't be around them too long because the similarities only run so deep. 



fiasco said:


> I'm not asocial, anxious, or overly self-conscious. It's the interaction rather than the environment that drains me. Things like having to kind of read the other person's mind (I wish people would just say what they mean!), having to be polite and ask about their personal lives and how they're doing even when I don't really care, laughing at jokes I don't find funny, and having to explain how I don't like making eye contact and the like gets really tiring after a while. I actually love being in public places though, and being around people can make me feel better.
> 
> But I enjoy it the most when I don't have to interact too closely with them. Uncontrolled social events like going to carnivals, amusement parks, or sitting in movie theaters are the best. I think I could go anywhere by myself and have a better time than if I went with someone else. From the outside, this tends to look kind of crazy to some people I know -- especially those who think it's embarrassing to do those kinds of things alone.


Exactly!
Those three examples of 'uncontrolled social events' I love.

I also do crazy things like ring friends without a care for what the time is or go to places without any concern for the time and only a little concern for my money. For example I may wake up on my day off and be like oh I fancy doing such and such today and so go and do it rather than waiting to make plans for it, a lot of my friends wouldn't be able to do that because everything would have to be planned. I guess I'm not high P though more P than some people I know.


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## Peege (Nov 16, 2009)

I think that a lot of it has to do with just living inside my own head a lot more than most people. When I am with people, I more want to share things such as how we're feeling, what we really think about larger issues, or what is the nature of life, the universe, everything, or how that math / science problem should be approached and how it relates to the greater world. At parties or larger social gatherings, all most people seem to really want to talk about once there are enough people there are trifles: what people are wearing, what liquor people are drinking and what beer is best, what happened this week, who did what petty thing... It just leaves so little to talk about and it's mostly things I have hardly anything to say about.

The other big thing is how overstimulating large groups of loud people talking over loud music can be. I can kind of focus when there are under 8-10 people somewhere (and focus better as there are fewer and fewer people), but once that number gets too high I just can't think anymore. It's as if my mind is trying to listen to every conversation in the room at once, and kind of succeeds at listening to maybe one or two that are near me simultaneously, but all the energy it takes to take that in and filter everything else out just doesn't leave much left for me to interact with anyone. Booze can help with the filtering by I guess turning off some of the parts of my brain that want to take in everything (and makes me talk more too), but it has it's own problems when it brings out my inner feeler really really strongly and makes me say things I end up regretting.

Summary: small groups of people talking about stuff I care about = good, large groups of people yelling over each other about trivialities = why am I here?

What someone needs to do is to have big meetings for introverts to meet each other for those of us who can't seem to find many others, but I digress...


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## enchanting (Aug 16, 2009)

Hi everyone! I am new here and this will be my first post. I want to ad my little grain of sand here by saying that I have extreme respect for introverts. They come across to me as people who who think more about what they say and when they say it. I would love to be able to keep my mouth shut more often. I am so incredibly attracted to reserved men. if you think about it everything we say has some sort of influence over other people and ourselves we should all really learn to use our words more wisely and with more restraint.


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## MilkyWay132 (Jul 15, 2010)

snail said:


> I am shy because I fear being rejected for my eccentricity, but that is not why I am an introvert. Introversion is a separate issue. I am an introvert because I naturally consider large groups of people interacting shallowly to be incredibly boring, and because I tend to internalize all experiences before processing them, which takes energy according to the level of sensory and emotional stimulation. I need to be meditative and peaceful to recover, and quiet time allows me to take in new inspirations that may stem from the observations I make during the more busy moments. I can't focus in a noisy room.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I can relate to everything you have said.


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## thegirlcandance (Jul 29, 2009)

Munchies said:


> Does Extroversion = Confidence? Does introversion = low self esteem?
> 
> 
> 
> So introverts... "WHY" is it you would rather be home alone than out to a party sometimes? Could it be because you are shy? Antisocial? fear you have nothing good to say or fear rejection, fear saying somthing and nobody listening? Why introverts? WHY!?!?!?!?


I've read about this in a psychology class that I took. It has nothing to do with nurture... its purely nature. Whether we are extraverted or introverted is determined by genetic/biological factors.

To put it simply....
- Introverts are more stimulated at the base of their brain naturally, so they do not need to go out in the world to seek stimulation as much. Too much stimulation can cause an introvert to retreat.
- Extraverts are not as stimulated at the base of their brain naturally, so they need to go out into the world to seek stimulation.

Every person is at a different degree of stimulation, so everyone is somewhat extraverted and somewhat introverted. Everybody has a peak of "stimulation overload" its just that some require a lot more than others.



Now, based on MBTI studies what I wonder is how are N/S and F/T differences shown in the brain? I'm sure that is biologically determined as well but I am not sure how. I would imagine part of it would be which side of the brain you use more often.


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## MilkyWay132 (Jul 15, 2010)

I think the reason why we are Introverted is because we are more sensitive to external stimuli, and if there's too much, we get drained more easily. It's the opposite with Extroverts.


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## thegirlcandance (Jul 29, 2009)

NEWS - Introverts At The Front, Extroverts To The Rear

Here is one article I found on the topic.... its not quite as elaborate as the one I initially read when I took the class, but its something to further explain why one is an introvert or extravert.


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## thunder999 (Oct 15, 2010)

We are introverted because: we are more energised by being alone, enjoy self reflection and are more sensitive to stimuli. 
More personally it is because: I prefer something more meaningful than pointless small talk where people ask how you are and expect the answer OK instead of real conversations, know that 3/10 of conversation is lies not including the small talk which is mostly false formality as no-one really wants to know if you are feeling miserable.
Oh and why are you extroverts extroverted? It is no more common than introversion so why is it thought of as the norm?


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## Peter (Feb 27, 2010)

Munchies said:


> Does Extroversion = Confidence? Does introversion = low self esteem?
> 
> 
> 
> So introverts... "WHY" is it you would rather be home alone than out to a party sometimes? Could it be because you are shy? Antisocial? fear you have nothing good to say or fear rejection, fear saying somthing and nobody listening? Why introverts? WHY!?!?!?!?


I tell you why. It's because Introverts don't have this defect in their brains that extroverts have.

You see, a brain is a processing machine. A properly functioning processing machine uses stored information to deal with new information. This way you don't end up with inventing the wheel over and over again.

An extroverted brain is just happy with experiencing the same things over and over again. This is why so sitcoms get repeated over and over again. All the extroverts enjoying the shows over and over again while the introverts after seeing the first 10 seconds, already know what's going to come next, which makes it boring.


Now there's one downside to having a brain that uses memory so actively. When you´re in a situation that's unpredictable, the introvert brain is still doing its thing, but it can't find any matches so it goes in overdrive, trying to figure out what the hell is going to happen next. Social situations are unpredictable.

You may think social situations are anything but unpredictable, but that's because your brain isn't doing much of that comparing with memory work. Or only on a very high level. Introverted brains do this on all levels, or at least many levels deeper than an extroverted brain. It's just requires an aweful lot of energy. Actually after a while, there is information overload and we need to get away for like 10 to 15 minutes. (This literally feels like a buzzing brain.)

If this sounds like Extroverts are superficial and Introverts are not, then that is your conclusion. It's not my opinion.


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## Peter (Feb 27, 2010)

thunder999 said:


> Oh and why are you extroverts extroverted? It is no more common than introversion so why is it thought of as the norm?


Actually, Extroverts outnumber Introverts, 2 to 1.


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## SenhorFrio (Apr 29, 2010)

my family raised me tobe am oderate introvert,the todl m like basically not to loud and agressive, nd my dad made m mistrustful of people, and also just because i'm just a very unique and strange person!


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## Miss Tfy (Sep 28, 2010)

I score introverted all the time, yet I do feel energised and happy when I'm with _nice_ people. My introversion is a result of childhood experiences which have conditioned me and affected my interactions from then on. I like to be reflective and have me-time, but I find positive, social interaction far more rewarding. It's just that most of my interactions are negative because people can be thoughtless and hurtful and I suffer from low self-esteem; therefore I avoid a repeat of a potentially damaging experience, and become more introverted as a result, and so the pattern continues.


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## Thrifty Walrus (Jul 8, 2010)

I'm this way 'cause the majority of people suck.


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## VroomVroom (Jan 24, 2010)

Why are introverts introverts? 

Because the warm, gooey center should never be on the outside. That would just be nonsense. :crazy:


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## Miss Tfy (Sep 28, 2010)

Thrifty Walrus said:


> I'm this way 'cause the majority of people suck.


I disagree, I think the majority are decent and lovely, despite mounting evidence to the contrary :wink:




VroomVroom said:


> Why are introverts introverts?
> 
> Because the warm, gooey center should never be on the outside. That would just be nonsense. :crazy:


We should all let our beautful inner selves be shown, as our time on this earth is too short to waste it hiding.



Sigh, that's just the idealistic dreamer in me :frustrating:


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## Random Ness (Oct 13, 2010)

Munchies said:


> Does Extroversion = Confidence? Does introversion = low self esteem?


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO



Munchies said:


> So introverts... "WHY" is it you would rather be home alone than out to a party sometimes? Could it be because you are shy? Antisocial? fear you have nothing good to say or fear rejection, fear saying somthing and nobody listening? Why introverts? WHY!?!?!?!?


It's the physical and psychological reactions that come from social interaction. For instance, the diziness and the dread. Or the worry that I'll say something stupid and look like an idiot. Also, I usually just can't think of much to say.


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## Narrator (Oct 11, 2009)

Peter said:


> I tell you why. It's because Introverts don't have this defect in their brains that extroverts have.
> 
> You see, a brain is a processing machine. A properly functioning processing machine uses stored information to deal with new information. This way you don't end up with inventing the wheel over and over again.
> 
> ...


I wouldn't call it a defect to enjoy and be stimulated by social interaction, the human race is a social species afer all.


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## Random Ness (Oct 13, 2010)

Liminality said:


> I wouldn't call it a defect to enjoy and be stimulated by social interaction, the human race is a social species afer all.


He's probably being sarcastic.


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## Peter (Feb 27, 2010)

Random Ness said:


> He's probably being sarcastic.


:happy: yes. The question was asked in a way that I figured I could exaggerate a bit as well.


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## AirMarionette (Mar 13, 2010)

Introversion creates the sensation of dreaming with your eyes open, and it is natural, euphoric chaos.

Now, don't fuck with me when I have headphones on.


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## SyndiCat (Oct 2, 2010)

Edit: Nevermind. I only read half the post. Blah.


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## brightteyes (Aug 15, 2010)

I find things a little bit more interesting here than I do outside. No biggy.


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## DemonAbyss10 (Oct 28, 2010)

Munchies said:


> Does Extroversion = Confidence? Does introversion = low self esteem?
> 
> 
> 
> So introverts... "WHY" is it you would rather be home alone than out to a party sometimes? Could it be because you are shy? Antisocial? fear you have nothing good to say or fear rejection, fear saying somthing and nobody listening? Why introverts? WHY!?!?!?!?



Oh noes Im an introvert and I must go into the corner and /wrists because I have no confidence and am totally fucking scared of rejection.


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## AimfortheBrain (Nov 2, 2010)

I'm an introvert and I really like being around people. And sometimes I really do need people. Introversion is not the same as being antisocial. I come from a family of extraverts and the one big difference I notice is that I can entertain myself better than they can entertain themselves. Also, I tend to say things with purpose. Even if its a silly or bizarre topic I say it because I mean to. Whenever I'm around extraverts I always get pressured into just saying things for the sake of talking. If I have something to say, I'll say it. Period. 

I do think that a lot of people with low self esteem type as introverts though. I've noticed that a lot of the introverted feelers, even on this site, seem to be sad. For all we know, they are really extraverts who are going through a hard time, feel isolated, and therefore score as an introver. I always feel proud to read posts from happy introverts (ISTPs usually seem to be pretty happy. :happy: )


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## Life.Is.A.Game (Nov 5, 2010)

IT's because we find many people to be draining, boring, annoying, and why waste me time doing that when i can actually do something useful or entertaining for me? Such a silly question, why do people assume that Introverts are shy or have a fear of having nothing to say? I can have long useless communications with people too if i wanted to keep a conversation going, but for what? For the love of God, for what?


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

Brain design


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## abster (Feb 9, 2011)

extrovesion means you get stimulated by socializing, going out to parties, being in a crowd, HOWEVER, it doesnt always equal good social skills or confidence though. I have met a few extroverts who try too hard, and ppl just want to avoid them, or extroverts who can be tactless and have foot in mouth disease that ppl just cant stand them, or ppl who step on boundaries and uve just first met them and suddenly they are telling you their whole life story and problems etc when they dont even know u that well and they seem to scare ppl off. Introversion means you get stimulated with alone time, recharging your batteries, one on one deep conversations. I partied a lot from 16 to 21 years old, i went clubbing three times a week while juggling a part time job, finishing highschool, going to uni and dating guys, went to pub crawls through college and i always need some time alone after esp with a bad hangover. Since finishing college and working full time i just dont have the energy to do that anymore, id rather spend time with my partner and a few close friends or go down to the pub with a few workmates after work to have a drink, I still go to parties but mainly bdays and weddings and engagement parties now since a lot of our friends are heading that way. And id rather get enough sleep than party. Both extroverts and introverts can have high self esteem or low self esteem. Extroverts just need to be stimulated by their environment more while introverts can do that by accessing some alone time.


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## aboyeraboyer (Sep 24, 2009)

Because I'm confident enough in my own abilities to entertain myself that I don't need to go seek it out in others. I could hang out with people if I wanted to, and there are a few people that I like to hang out with, but really being around a bunch of people just reminds me of how many people there are in this world that I can't stand. It's not being anti-social, it's just not wasting time. I ask myself "What makes so and so so great that I should spend my valuable time off work with them?" and if I can't find a good enough reason, I'm not going to bother with it. I'm not a needy person so I don't need other people. It's unfortunate that some people can't even stand to be by themselves so they have to go out and seek comfort in others.

Bottom line, I'm not anti-social, most people just aren't good enough for me to hang out with.


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

It's just a different perspective. I'm an introvert because I believe that I am the center of my life, and therefore introspective comes first. I like people and being with people, though not necessarily in large groups. I dislike loud noises and I very much enjoy self reflection and meditation.


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## Waveshine (Mar 18, 2011)

It annoys me how a lot of people think all introverts are introverts because they are shy, anti-social, and/or conceited. Some introverts just get bored of people and their small talk while others really are shy, anti-social, and/or conceited.


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## Aelthwyn (Oct 27, 2010)

Munchies said:


> Does Extroversion = Confidence? Does introversion = low self esteem? So introverts... "WHY" is it you would rather be home alone than out to a party sometimes? Could it be because you are shy? Antisocial? fear you have nothing good to say or fear rejection, fear saying somthing and nobody listening? Why introverts? WHY!?!?!?!?


This is one of the most common mistakes. While shyness can make someone appear to be introverted, it's a completely different thing. Someone who is extroverted but shy still wants to be part of the conversation, still wants to hang around other people, still wants to be part of the group, they are just afraid of not being accepted by people.

Introverts, on the other hand, just don't have a drive or need to socialize much. Introverts tend to have a lot of fun all by themselves. 

Also, when interacting Introverts tend to be more on the recieving end, they observe and listen to others and process all of this internally. They tend to take a little longer to form their answers before responding to others, and don't like to interrupt or demand attention. Because of this, having a lot of people around to observe can overwhelm them, and cause them to be overlooked because they are just too busy listening to speak up. And because they often find it hard to get a word in edgewise, hanging out with people often feels unproductive because they don't really have a chance to contribute. They listen and have thoughts sparked, but those thoughts don't make it into the conversation because they don't want to interupt, or the conversation moves along more quickly than their thoughts. So they just keep it to themselves, or comment quietly to one person next to them. 

It's not so much being afriad of other people, as simply not knowing how to gain the attention of others. It's something I think a lot of us feel - like we are slightly invisible, or like our voice just doesn't seem to catch other's attention when we speak. Personally I feel jinxed that whenever I open my mouth at least one other person with a louder voice will always start speaking at that moment. My being a wallflower isn't entirely for lack of trying to engage. I find that in the company of fellow Introverts, we can be a lot more talktaive and social than we appear amongst the general public. A huge thing for most Introverts seems to be that we don't want to assume that others are interested in our personal ideas or stories. This isn't because we think we are uninteresting, though. We seem to view it as possibly intruding on others, and prefer to wait to be approached and asked for our thoughts so we know the listening party is actually interested. One thing we hate is people who ask us to engage in conversation but then don't appear to be listening - it's a waste of time and energy. 

Something which definately contributes to my Introvesion (though it isn't the only cause) is that I tend to have very different interests from most people and have very little interest in things which are common knowlege. So, it's pretty hard to have conversations with others about things when we can't identify with the same topics. If I happen to see someone who appears to have similar interests to me, then I'm a lot more open to getting to know them. 

Personally I really enjoy talking with and doing things with my small circle of friends, but even after a great day of hanging out with them I tend to feel rather unsatisfied, like it was a waste of time. This is because I have a great need to invest my time/effort/attention in personal interests/persuits. That is where I feel fullfilled, that is where I get my sense of accomplishment, and sense of self. I like to do things which aren't really group activities. I love writing stories, I love reading, I love doing crafts such as sewing or beading or drawing. Not that you can't do some of these things while talking to someone else, or even collaborating, but honnestly it's not as fun or personally fullfiling when it's not completely my own work from idea to finnished product, and I tend to prefer to get totally absorbed in what I'm doing, rather than being distracted by someone else who's there talking to me. 

I really enjoy being absorbed in my own thoughts as well. I think to myself about all kinds of things, process these thoughts internally. After having thought about it a while inside myself, then I'll enjoy having a conversation with someone else about it. If I haven't been thinking about a topic before, when it comes up in conversation then I'll just focus on listening and taking it in. I won't really have clear ideas or oppinions right away while listening to someone else. I tend to live very much in my head, and find it to be somewhat of an effort to direct my attention outwards to pay attention to other people. 

I really enjoy being by myself. I feel comfortable, happy, free. I suppose in some cases it may have soemthing to do with enjoying the controll you have when you're alone, you can just do whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it without having to coordinate with others or worry about how they feel. But it's certainly not just that. There are times I do really enjoy sharing activities, feelings, or thoughts with others, and like the sense of camraderie I have with them, but much of the time I don't find the presence of others to lend any extra enjoyment to whatever it is I'm doing. If anything I feel more alive, more able to enjoy the moment when I'm alone. It's like people are a distraction. 

Most of the time, honnestly, other people just aren't all that interesting to me. I don't look at random stangers and wonder about them. I tune them out because they don't really have anything to do with my personal life. I don't really enjoy meeting new people because I don't like going through all the surface 'getting to know you' type conversations about what you like and what you do etc. I like deeper conversations which can only really happen with people who already know me well enough to have the propper context for my comments, and who I already know will be interested in what I have to say. 

I really like to have deep close relationships, but I can't invest deeply in a lot of people without becoming stretched too thin. There just isn't enough time to be really close with a lot of people. So, I don't try to cultivate many new friendships because I feel like that would take attention away from the friends I already have. There are some times when I meet someone who seems like a nice person who I would enjoy getting to know, but I still choose not to persue the relationship because I feel like I couldn't really devote the quality time to that person that I would like to. I hate feeling torn between people, but often don't feel like spending time together with several people at once is very fullfilling. I don't feel like I've really engaged personally with others in a group setting, unless all the members of the group are people I know well and have spent a lot of one-on-one time with already. 

I really don't feel lonely, nor bored, very often. There are always interesting things to think about or do on my own. I tend to feel bored most often when I'm in a group of other people, when I can't just go do my own thing. I can spend a lot of time by myself completely engrossed in my thoughts or my creative persuits and feel very fullfilled and energized. I think about my friends fondly, but I don't feel a need to hear what they're up to all the time, or tell them my every thought and action. I enjoy occasional updates, but the connection I feel with them doesn't necessarily come from how much time we spend tgether, but whether the few times we do spend together are meaningfull. I'm really not all that interested in hearing about people's lives, particularly if they aren't people I have a close connection with, so a lot of people's conversations that I overhear, or which they try to engage me in, about things they've done or seen or whatever is totally boring to me. 

Maybe it sounds self-centered, but I honnestly don't think it is, at least not for most Introverts. It's really hard to explain the 'Why', but we certainly ENJOY being alone. It's not because of fear of other people, and it's not because we hate others. We care about people in general from a distance but don't desire interaction, and we invest our attention and emotional energy into a few people who are close to us because that kind of relationship feels the most meaningfull. We don't get excited, interested, or energized by talking with most people, particularly with strangers or aquaintances. We find both energy and peace in spending time by ourselves, in our own thoughts, in our own persuits. Being alone is FUN, it's our default setting which we intersperse with some socialization. We relish solitude, and find much more enjoyment in talking with one person in a secluded place, than mingling in crowds.

Also, personally I tend to find public places with lots of people, lots of noise, movement, lights, etc to be overwhelming. I just feel kind of lost and definately overstimulated. It's hard to think clearly or even listen to people in noisy crowded environments. I don't need much excitement to have fun, for one thing. So generally I find it more fun to be in a quieter more limited environment with fewer people and things grabing my attention. 

When I'm in a group of people I'm not often likely to experience a sense of camraderie or one-ness, mostly my own alien-ity just stands out more and I feel more separated from those around me. However with one other person, maybe two, I often experience a sense of being connected, of mutual experience, and so I find that enjoyable and comfortable.


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

abster said:


> Both extroverts and introverts can have high self esteem or low self esteem. *Extroverts* just need to be stimulated by their environment more while introverts can do that by accessing some alone time.


This could be true for some Extroverts , although its not true for ENFP. We are the most introverted out of all the
extroverts. I hate being around people all the time, i go into introverted mode quite often. Many times
i have been typed by people as an introvert. I know i'm an extrovert at the core, although i also equally need my private
space and time alone. This has been said and pointed out by almost every ENFP i know, also many here at PerC. We call
it having the best of both worlds .


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## Raichan (Jul 15, 2010)

That is because I like being alone and I like myself. That is all.


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## Quierta (Mar 6, 2011)

Raichan said:


> That is because I like being alone and I like myself. That is all.


^

If that's not confident, I don't know what is. I don't hide away from other people because I have low-self esteem, but quite the contrary. I think I'm *bleep*ing amazing. I love myself. I do not want to become tainted by other beings who I consider detrimental to myself, my thought process or my life in general.

I take great pride in my independence and my ability to think sharply and quickly when necessary. I have no urge to go out and down a couple of beers and lose that part of myself in the name of fun. How is that fun? "Let's all stop thinking for a while!" Yea, that sounds like a blast. 

I have much more fun in my own head than I do with anything else. My own mind is expansive and inexhaustible. I do not require outside influences to feed any want for excitement or stimulation. 

In fact, it is the influence of general misconceptions that were described in the original post of the thread that makes me further desire my 'alone time.' It's exhausting and annoying to have people constantly blather on about "You need to get friends, you need to go out more, you need to do this, you need to do that, you need to be more like X." No, I don't _need_ any of that. I am happy as I am and I am happy in my own skin and I do not require what other people require. 

I would very much like for people to stop assuming that every human being is the same and I would like to stop being called a "loser" because I don't dunk my head in a keg every Saturday night and climb upon my 'friends' in the name of some superficial enjoyment that will come back to bite me in the ever-loving bottom later.

We're not unhappy people, we're not shy people. We're just people who get entertainment and happiness from different sources. My sources just happen to be those that don't involve other people.


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## Jeyssika (Mar 20, 2011)

Psilo said:


> Since the prefrontal cortex is the most recently evolved portion of the brain, and since introversion is thought to be related to higher activity in said region, I'm asserting that introverts are actually more evolved than you primitive extroverts and your need for silly external stimulus.
> 
> Put that fallacy in your pipe and smoke it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I was just basically waiting for someone to tell youse the biologically basis behind it - because that's all it is; extraverts & introvert brains are hardwired differently & that produces certain behaviours that society helps impliment that bit more, as with any nature via (not versus because they obviously work together: you can't live with only one and not the other, sorry.) and thus you are how you are  When you understand & accept that you have/had no choice in the matter then you can just find ways to live with it, and be happy *knocks on wood*


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## Peter (Feb 27, 2010)

FlaylexFayte said:


> ^
> 
> If that's not confident, I don't know what is. I don't hide away from other people because I have low-self esteem, but quite the contrary. I think I'm *bleep*ing amazing. I love myself. I do not want to become tainted by other beings who I consider detrimental to myself, my thought process or my life in general.
> 
> ...


When you tell this to an extrovert his conclusion will be: "You need to get friends, you need to go out more, you need to do this, you need to do that, you need to be more like X." Introverts (and especially the INTJ type) understand what you wrote completely. But Extroverts never will understand this. I think they are incapable of understanding that people can be this way. The best they can do is accept it and that, considering their abilities in understanding people that aren't like them, is a huge accomplishment already.


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## Inveniet (Aug 21, 2009)

Why do so many people equate extrovertion with verbal noise.
If you cut an extroverts tounge out.
Would (s)he become an introvert?

Jung stated that extroverts loved the object and introverts hated it.
I assume we are operating with Jungs definition still?!

So introverts are introverts because they hate objective reality
and therefore seek sanctuary in their own subjective reality.


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## perpetuallyreticent (Sep 24, 2014)

I mean, I know xNTxs have a tendency to over analyze things like this, but there's only so much you can ask "Why?" to before you have to readjust yourself and look at the facts that have been set before you.

Introversion, for me, is the contentment of being alone. I like my thoughts, and doing my own thing versus having to act a certain way and be around a ton of people. It's overwhelming for me, and I am naturally very awkward and I don't like attention directly aimed at me. It makes me uncomfortable and I like being in the background of things. 

Introversion is an aspect of who someone is, and also a set of preferences. I can easily stay out all day at parties if I _wanted_. But I don't. For you, it might energize you to be at a party or be with a big group of friends, or at a rave, etc... For me, I might enjoy it but it would be extremely draining. 

Introverts might enjoy the same things Extroverts enjoy, but in smaller amounts. 

It's all a spectrum, really. There are more social-introverts, and more socially inept-introverts, it just varies. Some like being with big groups, but at the end of the day could have gone without the interaction and are glad to be home or wherever it is they're their most comfortable.

Some can be out all day with a small group of friends they are comfortable with, and go home and feel great, having socialized with their preferred group of people.

But at the end of the day, for nearly all Introverts- we enjoy our time in our thoughts, and that can only be achieved when we're alone or in an environment that doesn't disturb our preferred time of spending our days.


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## owlboy (Oct 28, 2010)

introversion and extroversion have nothing to do with social skills or willingness to socialize.

And everyone is an equal mix of introverted and extroverted functions, there are no ''pure'' introverts or extroverts.

People with dominant extroverted functions prefer a higher amount of environmental stimulus in their thought process. That's it. We're not all super chatty party animals who can't be left alone for five minutes.


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## Bahburah (Jul 25, 2013)

Because there brain produces more dopamine than extraverts.

So therefor they can can do more chill things and experience the same level of satisfaction compared to extraverts who need to go out and do more things to experience the same levels of dopamine.

This is also why introverts get worn out quicker.


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## Bel Esprit (Aug 2, 2011)

Like Bahburah says, extroverts have higher levels of dopamine. They have low sensitivity to it, but require large amounts and adrenaline is needed to produce more so it's natural that they would want to be active and engaged in an environment that feeds those needs.

Whereas introverts produce a substantial amount of dopamine, but instead depend on acetylcholine which provides a natural calm and alert state and gives a higher sense of satisfaction from thoughts and feelings.

If an introvert is engaged in an activity that builds up their dopamine, of course they're going to tire quickly because it doens't stimulate them, it wears them out.


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## laura palmer (Feb 10, 2014)

I have a bad personality so I dont have the friends to extrovert with.


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## Bassmasterzac (Jun 6, 2014)

Jakinickster said:


> I mean, I know xNTxs have a tendency to over analyze things like this, but there's only so much you can ask "Why?" to before you have to readjust yourself and look at the facts that have been set before you.
> 
> Introversion, for me, is the contentment of being alone. I like my thoughts, and doing my own thing versus having to act a certain way and be around a ton of people. It's overwhelming for me, and I am naturally very awkward and I don't like attention directly aimed at me. It makes me uncomfortable and I like being in the background of things.
> 
> ...


To my knowledge the basic difference between intro and extro is intro's find solace in AVOIDING stimulation and energy within themselves, where extroverts SEEK stimulation and find their motivation by external factors. Nonetheless, if you look at the 'Big 5,' extroversion is a trait, but introversion is not. Thus, I would assume EVERYONE is introverted, but your extroversion varies. Once your extroversion dominates the introversion, you would now be classified as an extrovert. That doesn't mean an introvert can't be social at all, though they usually eventually get tired from too much stimulation. Maybe it has to do with brain developement? who knows im too drunk to analyze


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## Morn (Apr 13, 2010)

laura palmer said:


> I have a bad personality so I dont have the friends to extrovert with.


Are you so sure it's you with the bad personality and not the people around you?


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## laura palmer (Feb 10, 2014)

Morn said:


> Are you so sure it's you with the bad personality and not the people around you?


A bit of both. As much as I want to enduldge in April Ludgate levels of people hating, I cant let myself believe everyone within a one mile radius of me just happens to be terrible, there has to be other things at play.


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## Rayos (Mar 28, 2012)

Introversion and extroversion are both pretty verified scientifically in the real world. I believe they even apply to animals at least all the way down to fishes. So introversion is not some kind of mental trauma or abnormality. As stated in previous posts, it's just a trait that people have like having red hair or blue eyes.

That said, here's my take on why an introvert might display the behaviours normally associated with them.

Suppose you're a person who likes to dive deeply into a subject until you understand all facets of it, a trait usually given to introverts. For someone like this, jumping from subject to subject doesn't make much sense because you can't get any depth to your understanding, so you end up focusing on only a few subjects which you understand very deeply. This would also explain why an introvert wouldn't be as explorative as an extrovert; their plate's already so full, they barely have anymore room to add anything new.

Having this deep understanding, it's unlikely that an introvert would be able to talk about the things they actually care about to another person because you'd need to explain a huge amount of stuff to them first before they could even understand it and most people aren't willing or able to listen to someone yammer on for fifteen minutes about some obscure topic just so they can understand it. I mean, would you be willing to listen to me say all this in a real life conversation?

This inability to speak about their favored subject means that, a lot of times, introverts don't get to talk about what actually interests them so social interactions tend to be boring or even draining, maybe even because the introvert is giving the subjects a disproportionate amount of their energy in order to understand it deeply, upon which the subject changes and the introvert is left having to drop everything and start all over.

So an introvert doesn't have much reason to socialize with people. Most of what they care about is incommunicable to others, most people (especially at a party) aren't looking to dive deeply into a subject, they're only able to avoid distractions from their chosen subjects when alone, and they probably never developed their social skills that well, too.

Seems to me that introverts have every reason in the world not to be social.


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## Then (Oct 1, 2014)

I think self-esteem has nothing to do with this whatsoever. Most of my introverted friends have much higher self-esteem than my extroverted friends. Mainly because we get to know ourselves other than the people around us, thus once the relationship grows more the more you like yourself and that means even higher self-esteem (it's wonderful). I could be totally wrong though, I honestly have a superiorty complex so this might not be true for all introverts, but it is for me.


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