# How to never have crushes again



## 5tarrynight (Mar 12, 2016)

I'm sick of having crushes. They always hurt me. They never like me back, no matter how much I try. I work really hard, but it never happens to me, and it always happens to everyone else. They don't even try. I'm starting to become frustrated. They always end up finding someone "better" than me, and honestly, it pisses me off. When I get over a crush, I immediately have a crush on someone else without me being able to control it, and it's really annoying. How do you give up and never have crushes again? Is there a way to train myself to prevent myself from developing a crush on someone? Thank you! I want to focus on other things, but it's like my feelings are out of my control. These crushes are holding me back from being happy with myself, and I want to overcome this. 
It will be a big weight off my shoulders if I overcome this challenge. 

Thank you!


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## Handsome Dyke (Oct 4, 2012)

Expose yourself to the ugliness in people? Read and listen to racists, misogynists, murderers. Watch documentaries about war, prison, and oppression.


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## Gossip Goat (Nov 19, 2013)

As a crushing machine, I suggest becoming so busy with things that don't relate to people and keep your focus on that. Be friends with people only of the sex you're not attracted to, and you're frankly forced to a life of isolation if you're bisexual.


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## leftover crack (May 12, 2013)




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## Shiver (Nov 10, 2016)

Gossip Goat said:


> As a crushing machine


This sounds so much more awesome than it probably is.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

Stop interacting with the set of people that you crush on. Works for me.


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## SgtPepper (Nov 22, 2016)

feeling pain is part of being alive. don't count on never falling, learn how to fall gracefully


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## The red spirit (Sep 29, 2015)

Cut out your eyes and impale your ear drums, I'm pretty sure, that you won't have those again.


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## Riven (Jan 17, 2015)

Lots and lots of porn and misanthropy and self hate. Ever since then, I've never had a single crush.

Sent from my MotoG3 using Tapatalk


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## JennyJukes (Jun 29, 2012)

rip your heart out of your body?

but echoing what has been said: keep yourself busy, focus on yourself, let them do the chasing.


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## General Lee Awesome (Sep 28, 2014)

You are a kid. Having spurs of infatuations about people is perfectly fine at this stage of your life. It is something you need to accept because it is perfectly normal. 

IF you have crush on someone. Ask yourself why you like that person. Then think if what you like about him or her is that unique. Most likely they are not that unique, and feeling might just go away. 

Or just think of him or her taking a dump. That will usually put it out for awhile.


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## 5tarrynight (Mar 12, 2016)

Thank you for your answers! Most of them are really funny haha I just had to thank all of them!!


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## crazitaco (Apr 9, 2010)

Let's trade spots, I teach you how to not feel romantically and you teach me how to feel romantically? lol
I'm kidding of course (I _like _not getting crushes), but my point is that the grass is always greener and* not* being able to experience crushes comes with its own set of unique drawbacks. Mostly the whole "end life doom" and social alienation, feeling like I can't relate and having nothing to offer when people try to talk to me about relationships. And the strong sense of annoyance every time media shoves romance in my face. Plus, life gets harder as one person against the world. This world revolves around couples and their offspring, single adults are often seen as out of place.

Think of it this way, hardship makes us adapt and evolve. You'll learn to overcome this and then someday you'll be glad that you did. I always feel like I'm lagging behind, like I'm a bit less "mature" because I don't have to learn to pick myself back up after constant rejection like everyone else does. I never learned to take risks and roll with the punches, as such I'm overly-cautious like a turtle that goes back into its shell instead of facing problems headon. I tread through life far more carefully than I should. I get a lot less stress in general, but others would probably say I'm missing out on the reward at the end of said trials, _though I can't really miss something I've never had.

_On the plus side though, I learned to enjoy my own company pretty early on. Maybe you can start there, you can't learn to _never _have crushes, but I think you could lessen the impact they have on your life if you can learn to have fun even when you're single, and not _in spite_ of it. Find out what your interests/hobbies are, and go immerse yourself in them! Don't think of it as distracting yourself, that's not the goal here. You're going to have crushes even if you have hobbies, because mostly everyone does. You're just going to learn how to be happy when both single or paired, you get the best of both worlds that way.


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## atamagasuita (May 15, 2016)

But crush is life. XD 

What you do: since having a crush is inevitable for you, never expect anything from your crush.

Expecting frustrates the fuck out of you. XD 

Just have fun with your crush.


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## TallGreen (May 6, 2017)

I actually find it very difficult to crush on ppl, takes me super long time to build trust. This is what i do: obsess over the miner details that you dislike over people. Obsess over the reasons you imagine it would never work: play out all the ways it could go wrong. 
Obsess over the reasons why relationships and love are not a priority for you right now, because before you can really commit you need to achieve x number of goals. Voila. 
crush what crush?


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## Fumetsu (Oct 7, 2015)

May I suggest replacing your mind and body with that of a robot?

Seriously, when I was stupid kid I had crushes too. So I spent as much as time as possible around the person...so that I would eventually learn they too were only human and had many obnoxious flaws.

Eventually I married one. Now I live with his obnoxious flaws and they are just another con ( as in pro/con) of living.


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## Angelo (Aug 17, 2016)

TallGreen said:


> I actually find it very difficult to crush on ppl, takes me super long time to build trust. This is what i do: obsess over *the miner details* that you dislike over people. Obsess over the reasons you imagine it would never work: play out all the ways it could go wrong.
> Obsess over the reasons why relationships and love are not a priority for you right now, because before you can really commit you need to achieve x number of goals. Voila.
> crush what crush?


minor*


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## TallGreen (May 6, 2017)

I find it completely difficult to have crushes, here is what i do,
1. Obsess over all the little details you don't like in them, (how are they not perfect).
2. Obsess over all the ways that you don't belong together, why you two are incompatible.
3. Obsess over all the reasons why you are not mature enough to be in a relationship.
crush? what crush? voila.


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## Chesire Tower (Jan 19, 2013)

The more sudden and intense the crush; the more it is likely to be a really bad idea.


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## Index (May 17, 2017)

Isn't what makes it a crush the fact that it's just you liking them? Maybe you're just the kind that has a strong need for intimacy or somebody to idolise. Some people tend to get sucked into infatuation very easily and very frequently. Luckily for you, that usually becomes less of an issue as you become older.


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## Mr. Meepers (May 31, 2012)

You are Gen Z, so you are still young. There is nothing wrong with having lots of crushes.

That said, I like people like you (In case I gave you the wrong idea, I have a gf lol But I mean I think it is great there are people like you in the world). I think you crush because you are seeing the best in people and you find others amazing and I think that is a beautiful trait in a person.

Wanna know a not so secret, secret? I used to crush a lot too and I still do. That is why I look so beautiful :crazy: For myself, I just want to love everyone :crazy: so it is hard not to crush sometimes lol. The secrets I found are basically.
1) Learn to be happy with just being single
2) Learn to be okay with just being friends with your crushes and appreciating the friendship you have with them and that they are a part of your life to begin with. Basically appreciate what you have with them, instead of focusing on what you don't have (They are their own person with their own wants and needs, but that does not stop you from having a good friendship ^__^)

I'm gonna quote myself on a post I wrote about just being friends in another advice thread. I think this can apply to you as well.



Mr. Meepers said:


> I realize this is probably tougher since you may not have a lot of people in your life that you are close to, but it really is possible to just be friends with someone (even if you have a crush on someone).
> 
> I do it all the time :tongue: And really there is always going to be some attraction towards friends. It does not need to be romantic or sexual, such as having a common interest, but there is going to be something(s) there that attracts you to them. Our closer friends (the ones that mean so much to use), we may feel an attraction in many ways and on more personal/valuable levels. That is a good thing, because it allows us to connect to others in deep and meaningful ways.
> 
> ...


- http://personalitycafe.com/advice-center/1060362-possible-us-just-friends.html#post35935914


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## Gossip Goat (Nov 19, 2013)

Riven said:


> Lots and lots of porn and misanthropy and self hate. Ever since then, I've never had a single crush.
> 
> Sent from my MotoG3 using Tapatalk


I agree, seeing just how utterly shit people are works wonders for induced misanthrophy that would squelch any type of attraction towards anyone.


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## Riven (Jan 17, 2015)

Gossip Goat said:


> I agree, seeing just how utterly shit people are works wonders for induced misanthrophy that would squelch any type of attraction towards anyone.


Eh, for me, I've mostly got misandry compared to misanthropy. I'm not as likely to consider girls in general as scumbags, I just generally regard them as much better than guys.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

The key is actually to berate yourself and reason that you are worth any of the appeal.


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## Allonsy (Mar 30, 2017)

Killing yourself would work.

Living without love is not possible. Well, at least it would not be a life worth living.


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## Belzy (Aug 12, 2013)

5tarrynight said:


> Thank you for your answers! Most of them are really funny haha I just had to thank all of them!!


Did it work?

By the way, I couldn't respond to your VM a month ago because you got such things disabled.



Allonsy said:


> Killing yourself would work.
> 
> Living without love is not possible. Well, at least it would not be a life worth living.


What about a life with less crushes?



Anywho, I think having a crush every time has something to do with looking for something outside of yourself rather than in yourself, to keep it short for now.


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## Notus Asphodelus (Jan 20, 2015)

How not to have crushes? You need to iron out your emotional fabric. Right now your emotion is like a crumpled piece of shit that can be crushed. 

You need to go from this:










To this:


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