# ISXP? I can't figure out what he is!



## Julskato (Nov 2, 2010)

Okay skip the first three paragraphs if you don't feel like reading them =]

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Hi! I suppose this is my first post, and I'm aware I'm supposed to do some intros of sorts (which I promise I will do), first I must ask this question as it is very pressing. I mean, I've been reading threads here for about 6 months and I'm signing up now basically just to ask this question. 

Okay so I find that I'm usually very good at typing people I meet (it's a bit of an automatic reaction now), but it's near impossible to type the people I know. This kind of sounds weird, and I don't know if anyone else has the same problem, but it seems that once you get to know people and talk to them on a deeper level, they tell you both things about who they are and who they believe they are/who they want to be. Naturally, it can be difficult to separate those two things and so I get confused. Again, I don't know if that's just me. Also, I'm 15, so I suppose most people my age (myself included) don't really know who they are so by them telling you who they think they are it can mislead you. 

So there's this guy I really like, and we dated a bit, and it got really messed up. It really confuses me, I don't know what went wrong or what I could've done differently... I'm not terribly good at any of that stuff, I'm definitely an INTP so emotional things don't come very easily. He can't look at me anymore, we haven't talked in 5 months, and everytime he sees me he starts shaking and runs away... Err, I don't know why. I'm not looking to get back together since that seems out of reach, but I'd like to know his personality type so I could try to understand him a little bit better, and try to make things manageable (we have all the same friends so seeing each other is kind of necessary).

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He's definitely ISXP, I have absolutely no doubt about that. He's completely introverted and not N at all. Also he's totally laid back and everything else that applies to a P...

T or F - He likes to think he's a T. He likes to think he sees everything in a logical way, that he's not very emotional at all... But he's not. He's very emotional on the inside he just doesn't really see or accept it. Everything about him makes you think he's a T until you actually talk to him and realize his "logic" is always based on his emotions, and not the other way around (like me, 100% T). He wants to be a thinker, because he feels like it's what he should be. He doesn't really... know himself? I guess. It's... it's confusing. And it kind of makes a huge difference. I feel like he "wants" to be ISTP, but he IS an ISFP in denial. I'm totally clueless. I don't know how to decide on one of them because if I go by T, it won't be who he really it, and if I go by F, it won't be how he acts or reacts.
I could be wrong, I completely admit that I could be confused within the situation and not looking at it clearly. That's why I'm asking :3 , I feel as though I've gotten too close to him to actually see him.

Sooo, please help me, it's kind of important... Not in the grand scheme of things, but just personally, right now. Eh. It's basically causing me a fair bit of emotional distress (which I can't handle), a mental block, and letting my extraordinary sense of guilt keep up with me. If I could understand who he is, why it didn't work, and how I went so wrong (because it was my fault)... Then maybe I could get over him.

Thanks =]


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## RyRyMini (Apr 12, 2010)

I've read that it's not uncommon for Ps to project the opposite judging function of what they really are to the outside world. For people who don't know me well, I think it would be totally possible for them to type me as a T, although in reality both my introverted and extroverted thinking functions are quite limited. I should also mention that it's a big misconception that feelers aren't logical. It's not that we're overflowing with intense emotions at any given time of the day and can't look past them, it's more that we have a sense of what works for us and make decisions based on that. (This is more Fi than Fe)

Your ex-boyfriend seems to me like an ISFP, or at least an F from this description because you say you're sure about the other letters and functions. We ISFPs have a reputation of being kind of flighty like the way you're describing him. At 15, he could possibly be trying to hide behind a thinking façade...even some adults do this. But in any case, it seems that you have a good sense of his true self and should base your typing on that. If you're still not sure, read up on Ti and Fi (the dominant function for ISTPs & ISFPs respectively) and see if one or the other fits him better.


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## Julskato (Nov 2, 2010)

Hehe, thank you =] I was fairly sure, I just needed clarification due to the possibility that my judgment was... well, overly subjective.

And yeah, he's definitely not Ti like me so must be underdevelopped Fi/ denial of Fi.

I don't know, I think he's ashamed to not be a T or something. It's a pity because he's really an amazing person.

Anyway, thank you very much =]


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