# What is your sexuality?



## Hei (Jul 8, 2014)

I'm just curious about the diversity. Mostly became curious when I found there are a notable number of pans on P.C. (_which isn't too common_) ^^ It's easy enough of a poll to conduct


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

I consider myself to be a pansexual.


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## The_Wanderer (Jun 13, 2013)

I consider myself to be _very _​sexual.


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## Apolo (Aug 15, 2014)

Proud heterosexual.


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## 66393 (Oct 17, 2013)

Demisexual (heteroromantic). Haven't ever been in any kind of relationship and the whole notion makes me uncomfortable.


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## Balinka (Apr 29, 2014)

I'am a hetero-romantic grey-a asexual.


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## GoosePeelings (Nov 10, 2013)

Aromantic asexual, aka as asexual as possible, pretty much.


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## xenolovegood (Nov 10, 2014)

Why did you put gay _*and*_ lesbian


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## frozenmusic (Aug 12, 2014)

Heterosexual and never questioned it.


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## Mimic octopus (May 3, 2014)

If you swap straight and questioning the list will be in alphabetical order

...OCDsexual


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## InspectorDoohickey (Nov 12, 2012)

xenolovegood said:


> Why did you put gay _*and*_ lesbian


Can't answer for OP, but there is a difference for some people


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## Rice (Apr 27, 2014)

I stopped caring a long time ago. It's too complicated to figure out.


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## lumostartarus (Apr 1, 2014)

.


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## Zyranne (Oct 15, 2014)

bisexual


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## lackofmops (Mar 13, 2014)

Straighter than a lumberjack with an untrimmed beard.


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## Flaming Bassoon (Feb 15, 2013)

Bisexual, but I prefer men.


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## witchy_fingers (Dec 2, 2014)

I consider myself straight, but in person, I rarely experience attraction towards anyone I see on a regular basis. Females visually excite me more, but I desire sex with males. I accredit this to an indirect psychological attraction towards males. For example, I am completely unmoved by lesbian porn, but seeing evidence of a male being aroused by a female makes me responsive to her as well. I am always thinking about what the male is experiencing.


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## Narcissus (Dec 18, 2014)

I usually say I'm a panromantic asexual, but that stuff is hella complicated ;_; I mostly fall for peoples' minds (i know it sounds weird but idk if there is any good term for it, and I also don't think this actually counts as "romantic" attraction?)


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## Maedalaane (Jan 20, 2015)

Semi-demisexual polyamorus panromantic nonpracticing pansexual. Say that five times fast!

...

Let's just go word by word here because I bet most people shook their head and or guffawed.

Semi-Demisexual means that I only develop sexual connections for people I feel a strong emotional connection with, but I'm also almost exclusively sexually attracted to nonmasculine people, hence the 'semi'.

Polyamorous means that I'd have multiple partners and am okay with said partners having other partners. There is, literally, much love to go around! I have so much of it I can smother a single person with it all, and so it's better spent building up other people. 

Panromantic means that I can develop romantic feelings for just about anyone at all. 

Nonpracticing pansexual is tricky. Whilst I'm open to the concept of being sexually attracted to anyone, I find it very hard to be that way toward masculine types, thus I'm not able to practice that pansexuality most the time. 


It's...a lot easier to say I like women. Lmao.


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## InspectorDoohickey (Nov 12, 2012)

Homoromantic Bisexual


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## Apolo (Aug 15, 2014)

Veggie said:


> Thanks for this. Unfortunately though - you aren't, like, "getting" it (sarcasm font). You're supposed to listen to everyone else's beliefs and love of their ancestry with a wisened smile, never asking for respect in return. (Cuz that's so natural). What's funny, is that it's perpetuating the "white man's burden" - so it's advocating what it seeks to abolish. (I'll also add that a majority of my best friends are immigrants, minorities and members of the LGBT community before I get projections galore...honestly).
> 
> I remember once when someone (of another ancestry) was trashing white royals for incest and I was like - you sure you aren't a product? No response, lol. Then I said that I prefer my incest intentional because I think it's classier, and it was like the most controversial statement ever, but it's just like...ugh, fuck off. Like others can pick at the deepest wounds of a race of people, but can't even handle jabbing in return. (And this isn't aimed at anyone in particular, but that was just how that specific interaction felt). There are plenty of "don't touch" issues (not even...just words) in place for other cultures. (Which I respect for the most part).
> 
> ...


I PerC heart the crap out of you right now Veggie! :wink:

You picked up perfectly on what I was putting down, and expounded on it in a way that I could not. 

Thank you. <3


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## cerenach (Mar 26, 2015)

I never know which one to pick when both bi and pan are in a mutually exclusive list. 

The technically most accurate one or the still accurate one that I'm used to using?


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## DustOfShard (Nov 10, 2012)

Straight; single; in love; content.

I live the life of a sage-wannabe with hermit-like and monk-like properties, but I do do platonic socialization every now and then.


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## Hei (Jul 8, 2014)

cerenach said:


> I never know which one to pick when both bi and pan are in a mutually exclusive list.
> 
> The technically most accurate one or the still accurate one that I'm used to using?


The one most accurate to yourself...


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## Hei (Jul 8, 2014)

*>duplicate error<*


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## yippy (May 21, 2014)

Asexual. Panromantic. Loves hugs & cuddles. Lemon cake is my favorite.


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## cerenach (Mar 26, 2015)

LondonBaker said:


> The one most accurate to yourself...


But...

But that would be _both_?

Since you're the pollmaker I'll ask directly: I prefer to use bi but pan is technically more accurate. Would you prefer I cast aside my preference/habit for the sake of accuracy or accuracy for the sake of preference/habit?


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## Hei (Jul 8, 2014)

cerenach said:


> But...
> 
> But that would be _both_?
> 
> Since you're the pollmaker I'll ask directly: I prefer to use bi but pan is technically more accurate. Would you prefer I cast aside my preference/habit for the sake of accuracy or accuracy for the sake of preference/habit?


Pan if it is more accurate... I make the distinction... pansexuality is attraction toward people of any sex or gender identity whereas bisexuality is sometimes limited to the gender binary... So yes the definition of pansexuality in essence is a sect of bisexuality... however because there are some bisexuals that do not necessarily experience attraction to those who may be trans. By stating you are pansexual you are making the finer statement that your attraction goes unlimited by that.


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## cerenach (Mar 26, 2015)

LondonBaker said:


> Pan if it is more accurate... I make the distinction... pansexuality is attraction toward people of any sex or gender identity whereas bisexuality is sometimes limited to the gender binary... So yes the definition of pansexuality in essence is a sect of bisexuality... however because there are some bisexuals that do not necessarily experience attraction to those who may be trans. By stating you are pansexual you are making the finer statement that your attraction goes unlimited by that.


Something rubs me the wrong way about this distinction that only seems to apply to bisexuals but I can't quite put my finger on it. I suspect it's an etymology + redefining thing but I'll have to think about it some more to be sure.

Regardless, I'll play along for now and vote pansexual.


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## Hei (Jul 8, 2014)

cerenach said:


> Something rubs me the wrong way about this distinction that only seems to apply to bisexuals but I can't quite put my finger on it. I suspect it's an etymology + redefining thing but I'll have to think about it some more to be sure.
> 
> Regardless, I'll play along for now and vote pansexual.


Well really it's some bisexuals that have made that distinction, not non bisexuals. Pansexuality would not need to be its own specific term if there were not some people who do not experience attraction regardless of identity, regardless of reassignment... There are people that didn't want to be and still do not want to be lumped in, those with limits to their attraction and those without. Mind you pansexuality is a some what newage experience of attraction, hence why it is the offshoot of bisexuality and not the other way around. That's why they are their own terms. 

Now arguably part of why some people may fall into the bisexual vs pansexual is partially due to pressures. There is an undeniable stigma and negativity about the idea of trans and androgyny. Given time I'm sure these pressures will lessen and people won't close themselves off during sexual development. But even with alleviation of such pressures the case remains that there will undebiably be people that still won't experience that limitless attraction someone that is pan will experience. There will be that desire for that to be distinguished. You don't have to necessarily like that.

The options of Bisexual and Pansexual are therefore mutually exclusive on this survey because I want people to choose what best describes their sexual experience of attraction. Bisexuality draws a line, pan does not.


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## cerenach (Mar 26, 2015)

LondonBaker said:


> Well really it's some bisexuals that have made that distinction, not non bisexuals. Pansexuality would not need to be its own specific term if there were not some people who do not experience attraction regardless of identity, regardless of reassignment... There are people that didn't want to be and still do not want to be lumped in, those with limits to their attraction and those without. Mind you pansexuality is a some what newage experience of attraction, hence why it is the offshoot of bisexuality and not the other way around. That's why they are their own terms.
> 
> Now arguably part of why some people may fall into the bisexual vs pansexual is partially due to pressures. There is an undeniable stigma and negativity about the idea of trans and androgyny. Given time I'm sure these pressures will lessen and people won't close themselves off during sexual development. But even with alleviation of such pressures the case remains that there will undebiably be people that still won't experience that limitless attraction someone that is pan will experience. There will be that desire for that to be distinguished. You don't have to necessarily like that.
> 
> The options of Bisexual and Pansexual are therefore mutually exclusive on this survey because I want people to choose what best describes their sexual experience of attraction. Bisexuality draws a line, pan does not.


While I agree that the label has it's purpose and should exist, I think that it often isn't well defined and that needs to happen if it's to be adopted at large. 

My main problem is the assumption that being attracted to a trans person automatically makes one pansexual. I'd argue that it doesn't and that the distinction of 'bisexual person who is/isn't attracted to transgender people' is no different from the distinction of 'straight person who is/isn't attracted to transgender people' or 'gay person who is/isn't attracted to transgender people'. I also think that by using this definition you, perhaps unknowingly, cast a shadow on the validity of binary aligned trans people, effectively third-gendering them.

When it comes to non-binary people it gets a bit murkier and this is also where I think the etymology aspect starts to come into play. Namely, the prefix bi implies a binary. That is undeniable. However it's also important to look at how the word has been used historically. I think it's worth noting that bisexuality, as a term, existed before social awareness of non-binary identities but that does not mean that the people who have been using that term (a term that wasn't even chosen by them in the first place but was eventually reclaimed) automatically exempt non-binary people from the range of their attraction. 

However that leaves something of a conundrum. Either you ignore the prefix and recognize that bisexual has never been defined as exclusionary to trans and non-binary people or you hard-line and thus run the risk of redefining a term that a group of people have come to identify with without their permission (because I strongly doubt that older generations of bisexual people have collectively agreed to have their label redefined this way) and force them to re-label accordingly. How would you propose we resolve this difference if at all?


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## Hei (Jul 8, 2014)

cerenach said:


> While I agree that the label has it's purpose and should exist, I think that it often isn't well defined and that needs to happen if it's to be adopted at large.
> 
> My main problem is the assumption that being attracted to a trans person automatically makes one pansexual. I'd argue that it doesn't and that the distinction of 'bisexual person who is/isn't attracted to transgender people' is no different from the distinction of 'straight person who is/isn't attracted to transgender people' or 'gay person who is/isn't attracted to transgender people'. I also think that by using this definition you, perhaps unknowingly, cast a shadow on the validity of binary aligned trans people, effectively third-gendering them.
> 
> ...


I feel like I lost you so I need to emphasize some things. 

I am not third gendering those who have transitioned to their correct gender. I am pointing out the relevance that bears on some individuals declaring their sexuality. By _some_ individuals declaring themselves bisexual they do not feel they are within the capacity to be attracted to people who have transitioned. And this is in essence indeed pushing them (trans individuals) outside the binary. I'm not doing any such thing. Again I'm surveying those that do however.

It must be recognized the unfortunate negativity attached to group, the idea of transition maligns them in this manner. Is it right? Not at all. And this will perhaps be the case for a very long time, until societal pressures ease, and transition becomes more fluid which can only come with better advances in medicine.... but until then.... The case remains there are people that label themselves bisexual strictly over this. Their self identification of their attraction to those who are "cis." And I want to see that. 

I also must emphasize I was not saying being attracted to a trans person automatically makes one pansexual. I would not be so careless. I'm saying that pansexual does not have this limit to it. Hence the break away from bisexuality distinction. The openness to attraction to those who have transitioned is what makes the difference between these two terms. It is this explicit assertion that individuals wanted to make about themselves that gave rise to the term pansexual.

I was therefore not saying there cannot be gay/lesbian/straight people attracted to a trans person.

I don't have any personal proposals. I'd like to think we might get some better terminology for the complicated spectrum of sexuality in the coming years as matters of orientation continue to be propelled to the forefront of social rights in western and eventually more eastern cultures.


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## 0+n*1 (Sep 20, 2013)

Gay Cis Male here. I prefer the term homosexual because it is technical, but gay for short is okay and I won't go great lengths to explain why I prefer the other term. Almost Kinsey 6 if it weren't for my brain that doesn't accept absolutes.


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## Daeva (Apr 18, 2011)

As an arrow.


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## Cesspool (Aug 8, 2014)

Classic Coke.

I.E Straight.


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## Sharkcorn (Apr 2, 2015)

Ace of biromancy.


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## Bluehealer (Feb 3, 2015)

I don't understand why anyone would prefer sex in a pan????? perhaps it's a very large pan.


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## Glory (Sep 28, 2013)

I'm GAAAY


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## ADHR26 (Nov 19, 2012)

> I bet there are some in here ,yet they are not much into the community than I am


You would be correct =^-^=


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## Bluehealer (Feb 3, 2015)

Cesspool said:


> Classic Coke.
> 
> I.E Straight.


Which sexuality is new Coke? I'm dying to know. I think I know Coke Zero.


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## NTlazerman (Nov 28, 2014)

Bi, but leaning more towards heterosexuality. I'm not pan, I like women as women and men as men. Nothing wrong with being gender-ambiguous or trans or whatever, but they're just not for me.


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## The Marauder (Apr 30, 2014)

I'm not exactly sure.
I find men attractive but the idea of sex is repulsive to me.
Would that make me straight or asexual or what?


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## mhysa (Nov 27, 2014)

pansexual here! i still feel kind of weird about labeling my sexuality, because i was really confused about it for a while and found that after i stopped trying to define it, things became more clear. but yeah, now that i know more about that part of myself, "pansexual" is the most accurate term for me, i think.


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

I find it strange that men and women are separated with "gay" and "lesbian", but the other sexualities don't discriminate.


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## Cevian (Aug 27, 2012)

The Marauder said:


> I'm not exactly sure.
> I find men attractive but the idea of sex is repulsive to me.
> Would that make me straight or asexual or what?


If it's sexual attraction, you would be straight and sex-repulsed. If it's romantic attraction, but not sexual, you'd be asexual and heteroromantic (and sex-repulsed). It can be confusing, but I hope that helps.

(Also, for the main topic, I'm aromantic asexual.)


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## wastethenight (Apr 2, 2015)

Seems odd demisexual isn't on the poll since a lot of people seem to identify as such.

I'm somewhere between hetero/demi myself.


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## Bluehealer (Feb 3, 2015)

Everybody be free!


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## Khalaris (Sep 9, 2012)

Probably-aromantic ace here. Nice to see the diversity, though I suspect many straight people simply don't bother with this poll, because their sexuality is the "normal" one


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## MonieJ (Nov 22, 2010)

Bisexual


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## DeductiveReasoner (Feb 25, 2011)

voodoodoll said:


> Seems odd demisexual isn't on the poll since a lot of people seem to identify as such.
> 
> I'm somewhere between hetero/demi myself.


I was under the impression the demisexuality falls on the asexual spectrum?

I identify as demi myself


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## TheProphetLaLa (Aug 18, 2014)

I've thought about this quite a bit and have decided that pansexuality fits me best.

I don't really like labeling my sexuality and this is the closest I can get to no label. I want to be free to love or have sex with whoever I want, and I don't want to have to explain myself to others. Thats what I dislike about labels. You have to constantly prove yourself to be fitting of that label. I just want to be me.


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## Hei (Jul 8, 2014)

WamphyriThrall said:


> I find it strange that men and women are separated with "gay" and "lesbian", but the other sexualities don't discriminate.


I did briefly address this... But you will be the first I give more detail to. 

My goal of this poll is to accumulate around 500 responses. I want to get a good idea of, amongst the active members on this site, how large of an audience I have to communicate with when I go on to make sexuality specific threads. Also thanks to user comments I will have an idea of who I can look forward to interacting with and getting proper interesting discussion.

I decided to break up the ladies and gents in the homosexual category here because I felt a separate poll for that later would be very small. It would not receive the same amount of attention, get lost in the polls, and the data it would yield would not be as great or interesting. 

For example... with a future bisexuality poll, I now know how much of an audience I will be able to address, and in a poll I can give more options than just gay or lesbian. I can ask Male, Female, Other and then how is their a lean (more so male/female, a little bit more male/female, about the same, not sure). Likewise with Pansexualty. Asexuality I will be able to get in the deeply complex levels. A far more interesting poll with a lot more I can extract from, and then on top of this I would kindly ask some people please share their experiences. And I can look at finer crossovers between members stories, and gather support methods, and so many amazing things from there. 

This data could then ultimately have the potential for a resource thread for those who are struggling with their identity, having family or friend issues, supportive members... I have an ambitious plan/project for this site that I am really passionate about doing... which may surprise others coming from a "cold" INTJ *rolls eyes*

I have gotten... a lot of flack from members. People are not happy with me, and this has been expressed indirectly (not quoting or @-ing me in this thread)... and I have avoided going through the comments to spare myself any criticism. I'm already coping with tremendous depression, I don't need anything potentially eating at me... If you'd understand.

But I have seen complaints... some in the form of questions... e.g. why isn't there more options for asexuality, why is only homosexuality distinguishing gender (is it because I'm gay and therefore biased)... The thread has been down rated... 

The poll... is to gauge audience. And I didn't want to make the description of this thread super detailed. I have observed, and it is human nature, to disregard walls of text. If I laid out my intentions, rather than being short, it would discourage participation. And I _need_ participation for this to work.

Had I realized... my action would have upset so many people I dont even know on a personal level... I'm not sure if I would have conducted this poll in this manner. But I feel at this same time I can get something really great out of this at the end of the day, and... not that this means much... but it makes me feel good... And I don't expect others to understand, or get me... people rarely do

All I hope is that people can forgive me, and that I make something nice with this. I want to make something helpful, and have these interesting discussions and I hope they happen.

So I am sorry... and I hope you can forgive me


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## Superfluous (Jan 28, 2014)

Demisexual is not in the pole, although it has probably been mentioned, Im now too lazy to read. (wanted to see how many people were demisexual)


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## Cbyermen (Nov 28, 2014)

Proud bisexual. I do love every single gender and sexuality, however.


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## metaphor (Mar 10, 2014)

You forgot to include demisexual.


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## malphigus (Jan 15, 2014)

I don't know. Somewhat panromantic gray asexual maybe?? I mean, if I never get a lover then that's fine. But if I do then that's also ok. I also feel like I don't need to have sex, but if we ended up doing it then that's alright......???

Dang. Well whatever it is, I think I don't need to label my sexual/romantic orientation.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

According to the internet I am borderline demisexual. Are You Demisexual Test ⋆ LonerWolf

I always just considered myself straight. I think introversion is a confound here. :laughing:


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## selena87 (Aug 15, 2014)

Not interested in women, and never met any lesbians in real life neither as far as I know of.


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## .17485 (Jan 12, 2011)

Is tri-sexual a sexuality?


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## Macrosapien (Apr 4, 2010)

I guess I am a demisexual straight guy. I can be with someone, for years and not have sex with them, if I don't feel that deep connection, it just isnt happening. I really don't know whats wrong with me, because I'm a guy and I do have an immense libido, but yet somehow, I have this thing with sex, that I can't have it, unless a seriously deep connection has been formed >,<. life would be so easy if I were just down for the cause with any female I met, that would probably be better for me, but I just cant do it. I want to sometimes, but I am not above my nature. So I am definitely a demisexual.


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## keinalu (Apr 4, 2015)

I'm a homoromatic gray-asexual... maybe just plain asexual. I felt sexual attraction rarely during my puberty but I think it's niw gone for good.


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