# What's a good thing to do to feel something?



## DasPhillipBrau (Apr 2, 2010)

I've been feeling a bit (a lot) empty for quite a while now, I think the term is "dissociation"? I don't feel in connection with anything, most days I'm just in "zombie mode" or "auto pilot" because I'm simply not feeling anything in particular.
This has become very uncomfortable, I've read that in these situations, people tend to self harm, I didn't understood why at first but apparently the appearance of physical pain gives them *that* thing they desired to feel.
I don't function like most people do though, so I'm not interested in self harm, it doesn't look like a viable option, I guess I'll gather more info on that topic. Anyway, what is a good way to get rid of this? I just want to feel in sync with the world around me, I crave to feel normal, I don't know whats wrong, only that it's been like this for a long time and I want it to stop.
What do you guys recommend me to do?


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## School (Apr 29, 2014)

While self harm can make you feel more "alive", it's not a good solution. 

Talk to a professional. I don't really know what works, but I know that it's possible to get help.


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## Amandine (May 11, 2014)

Try taking a break from the computer, TV, phone, or any other technology for awhile. 
If that's not possible, simply limit your time online. 

Start with little things. Drink iced tea. Sit outside for at least 5 minutes. 
Don't focus so much on trying to feel. Relax.


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## BlissfulDreams (Dec 25, 2009)

One thing that I have read is to distract your mind by going after your senses. This brings you back in touch with the physical world. You can have a hot bath or hold on to an ice cube straight from the freezer. Things like that. They are harmless physical reminders to get you out of your head and back into the physical world.

However, distractions only work for so long. You have to go after dysfunctional behaviours by fixing your environment and the way you relate to it. Reading about things like mindfulness (being mentally aware of what you are doing and not living in your head), meditation, and cognitive behavioural therapy can help a lot.

I wish you luck


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## StElmosDream (May 26, 2012)

Numbing or disconnecting from life that can feel almost mechanical in nature can be a natural response, however connection does come in many forms such as reading a deeply powerful book, not monitoring daily world news besides picking your own points to stay connected to, noticing how your body feels more (hot, cold, tired, drained etc), prioritising core interests practised when dispassion will sap enjoyment and motivation, and questioning what about present life is making you withdraw or not face in its full entirety.

Quite vague I know but dissociation and conditioned numbing like depression or anxiety have a multitude of causes and benefits in certain situations (survival, self preservation, not forcing poor decision making, time to process issues etc).


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## StElmosDream (May 26, 2012)

BlissfulDreams said:


> One thing that I have read is to distract your mind by going after your senses. This brings you back in touch with the physical world. You can have a hot bath or hold on to an ice cube straight from the freezer. Things like that. They are harmless physical reminders to get you out of your head and back into the physical world.
> 
> I wish you luck


An alternative to self harm or pain to feel connected to the mind and body with tangible feedback alternatives.

(Just a point I wished to add when you had noted 80% of sensatory connectedness but forgot to note the broader value.)


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## Emerald Legend (Jul 13, 2010)

visit nearest animal shelter?
anywhere there's puppies/bunnies, etc.


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## caramel_choctop (Sep 20, 2010)

I think one of the most important things to do, in the long term, besides the excellent advice others have given, is to surround yourself with positive people on a regular basis. IRL, not just online. Sometimes disassociation is caused or worsened when we live too much in our own heads and/or we're sad and anxious. Shake it up and do something new (but not dangerous, and DO NOT self harm).

The hardest (but most rewarding, and trust me on this) thing is to avoid getting stuck in a rut. Always keep moving, even if it's in small ways. I'm not saying never be uncertain, but always have some sense of where you're going. Keep a diary, maybe, or do something else creative if you feel like that makes you more engaged.

On a short term level, I agree with other commenters. Focus on part of you - your hand, for example. Pay attention to how you move. Say things out loud (sing, recite a poem, talk to your neighbor). Dance. _Focus on how your body feels, how it moves._ Take the camera and visit a park or something else natural. Go somewhere peaceful where you're forced to slow down and take a breath. Do naked cartwheels around the house while belting out Disney songs, for that matter - something so silly that it'll shake your disassociation for a bit.


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

Do something for other people; charity.


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## Scruffy (Aug 17, 2009)

Exercising while always recommend/downplayed/overplayed, but it really does make you feel better. Exercise does a lot of feel goods for psychological disorders (it keeps my dysthymic disorder turned down, enough so that I don't disappear). 

It sucks, everyone hates it, but fuck, it works.


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## the_natrix (Aug 10, 2011)

Self harm works by triggering endorphins which has been shown to improve dopamine sensitivity short term. If you have any addictions then kicking those might be best in the long run. Otherwise changing things up helps as dopamine is released when there is new stuff that needs to be paid attention. Also meditation and time spent in nature are a safe bet.


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## sacrosanctsun (May 20, 2014)

I highly suggest visiting a library. Visit a section you think will peak your interest and skim though a few books until you settle upon one or two. You can check them out, or read in the library. Getting outside (hopefully it is good weather wherever you are) and reading a good book can help you get immersed into another world. Then you can apply the new information to the world around you. This is what I do when I disassociate.
If you're feeling brave, traveling to a bookstore and picking up small talk with other book browsers or coffee store baristas are nice. You don't have to talk much about yourself. I find it better to ask them questions and learn more about what's going on in their minds or lives. Who knows, you may even make a few friends along the way.
Hope this helps.


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## Surreal Snake (Nov 17, 2009)

Go for a walk in the forest


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

When l have the luxury to do so, l just get lost for a day. lt was more fun when l wasn't familiar with this area and l would travel more if l could.

The change of scenery with the added challenge of adapting to it really grounds me, sometimes l'll still wander around aimlessly in the summer with an ipod and see where it takes me, though since l have been of drinking age it has taken me to a bar on more than one occasion :tongue:

Exercise also surprisingly effective.


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## cannamella (Mar 25, 2014)

Be spontaneous. Just do something that feels natural and right.


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## DasPhillipBrau (Apr 2, 2010)

Well thanks for the replies guys, worry not, I'm really not going to cut myself or anything like it.

But most of the advices just wont work for me for different reasons (go to a library, go to the forest).

I think I'll try renting a room near the beach and stay there for an afternoon...it could work.


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## 67536 (Nov 9, 2013)

Listen to music, read books, interact with living things. 
Run, watch, and listen. Dance, walk, and talk. 
Be silly. Break from the norm.


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## DasPhillipBrau (Apr 2, 2010)

LostGirl said:


> Listen to music, read books, interact with living things.
> Run, watch, and listen. Dance, walk, and talk.
> Be silly. Break from the norm.


Oh I always break the norm.


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## 67536 (Nov 9, 2013)

Lightleggy said:


> Oh I always break the norm.


Good.  
I hope.


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## DasPhillipBrau (Apr 2, 2010)

LostGirl said:


> Good.
> I hope.


Not really.


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## 67536 (Nov 9, 2013)

Lightleggy said:


> Not really.


Oh, I meant in terms of not being psychotic or harmful to others. 
Individuality or not being 'normal' is not really embraced. Or it depends where and how. 
I just read your first paragraph. I kind of looked at the title and thought of things before. 
Sometimes, it's better when things don't happen than living in a nightmare, so at least there's that.
Also, I relate to feeling zombie like and it went away with time, it went away with not being scared and trying new things, being more involved. Seeing things. Something new always comes along. It's also okay to feel like that.
Edit: Routine can help. Caring for something and someone helps too. Having a responsibility, feeling important or needed or giving that to someone. Caring. Meh, whatever, huh, I don't know. You'll figure it out.


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## DasPhillipBrau (Apr 2, 2010)

LostGirl said:


> Oh, I meant in terms of not being psychotic or harmful to others.
> Individuality or not being 'normal' is not really embraced. Or it depends where and how.
> I just read your first paragraph. I kind of looked at the title and thought of things before.
> Sometimes, it's better when things don't happen than living in a nightmare, so at least there's that.
> ...


I should try all those, and hope it will help.


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## Pancreatic Pandora (Aug 16, 2013)

Do new things, go to new places, meet new people, talk to strangers, find a hobby, do something you've always wished to do but never did, find something to look forward to in the future, art, talk with people about your problems, charity... I can think of many possibilities but I can't really narrow them down without knowing what's causing what you are feeling.


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## DasPhillipBrau (Apr 2, 2010)

Pancreatic Pandora said:


> Do new things, go to new places, meet new people, talk to strangers, find a hobby, do something you've always wished to do but never did, find something to look forward to in the future, art, talk with people about your problems, charity... I can think of many possibilities but I can't really narrow them down without knowing what's causing what you are feeling.


Having a wide arrange of social disorders with a very likely case of Asperger finally seems to be taking its toll on me.


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## Choice (May 19, 2012)

Lightleggy said:


> I've read that in these situations, people tend to self harm, I didn't understood why at first but apparently the appearance of physical pain gives them *that* thing they desired to feel.


If you want pain for whatever reason, do stretches, or calisthenics until you're a bit sore. 
Whole list of alternatives to self harm here:
Mental Health - No Stigma!
-

on numbness:
Depression Symptoms Series: Feeling Numb - Symptoms - Depression


> *What can one do to combat feelings of emotional numbness?*
> 
> 
> Seek out the help of a good therapist. If you are unable to feel, you need support to go through the process of thawing out. I guarantee that when you do begin to feel again, some of it will be painful. You will need support to get you through.
> ...





----

In general, for most people, emotions tend to fluctuate throughout the day. Maybe the fluctuations aren't strong enough for you to notice them - in which case try doing ratings 3 times a day for a week or something if you need proof. If you still can't obtain it, then at least that's something you can present to a therapist.

Basically it's unlikely that you'll feel 100% the same at all times.
-
Other stuff

Mindfulness For Dummies Cheat Sheet (UK Edition) - For Dummies

Derealization - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Depersonalization - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Dissociative disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


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## IncoherentBabbler (Oct 21, 2013)

I'm pretty sure the reason people self-harm is the adrenaline rush that likely comes with the pain. Basically, they're looking for excitement - that doesn't require much effort on their part, energy-wise.

Watching some Comedy TV or movies might be enough. Cycling around town could get you out of a funk, yet won't be exciting exactly, but it would kick in various hormones(seratonin?), and burn calories, that might help.

In my case, the issue is low energy and minimal percieved progress toward goals (ie demotivation). So I'm looking up nutrition and ADD-related information.


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## Tad Cooper (Apr 10, 2010)

Lightleggy said:


> Having a wide arrange of social disorders with a very likely case of Asperger finally seems to be taking its toll on me.


I can relate to a lot of what you're saying and have been trying to work around it too. I find the only times I feel properly connected are when I lift weights, go to a really beautiful natural place and when I'm having to do something really hard so I have to think a lot. Apart from that I also feel either anxious or disassociated and can't work out how to fix it all the time. I tend to throw myself into work so I can have something to help me feel slightly more normal.


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