# I don't know



## School (Apr 29, 2014)

So, I made a thread here a while ago. (Trolling and being extremely disrespectful).

We got that mostly wrapped up, I mean, we figured out some things and all. I think so, at least.

The thing is, it's gotten way worse. I post triggering stuff just so they'll be triggered and get angry. I've posted a few videoes I found, for example of this guy cutting himself. Also pictures of deep cuts etc. Remember, these people are young girls, to them this is a hundred times worse than it would be for you (unless you are very sensitive to this stuff or whatever). 

And I'm on the edge here. Kind of. I don't want them to get so mad they'll call the police or anything (they're REALLY mad at me now. It's worse than I thought it would be. It's funny, but I think they might go too far). They've done it before because they were worried, and they've said they are worried now too, so that makes me worried. Haha. Yeah. 

Well, on the other hand, why would it matter? You know, my parents would get disappointed and all that, maybe I'd have to go see a therapist or whatever. That stupid stuff. Why would it matter though? It's only life. It's nothing serious. 

So now you see what a huge asshole I am. Right? I hurt people for fun! God, what an asshole. Please tell me I'm an asshole, because I sure haven't heard that before. 

Well, I don't know what I'm trying to do here. I mean, you can't really help me or anything. I guess I'm just here to talk about it? Not brag - please don't think I'm bragging, I'm really weak and it shows, it's nothing to brag about. It's just... I don't know anymore. 

I'm just confused and angry and disappointed and all that. I should be able to just _not _go back there, right? It's so easy, just don't go there! Gah. I don't know. Why do I do this, why do I like it so much, why can't I just stop, why do I not _really _care? Why am I being such an ass, why do I do this? 

And one more thing. No therapy for me. Never ever. Sorry to bother you with all this. I don't know.


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## Noelle (Apr 25, 2012)

So, is there no moderators to ban you?

Though, maybe if you want to really cure yourself from your addiction, maybe a little scrape with the police will do you good. :wink:


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## owlhead (Aug 12, 2012)

You probably need to get hurt in return real bad for you to stop it, or to simply take responsibility for your actions. I agree with Noelle on that.


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## School (Apr 29, 2014)

@Noelle
They've already done that, but with Tor and all it's easy to get back anyway.

I honestly think that it would have the opposite effect. Didn't work the last time, it just made things worse. (Both for me and later on them). 
@owlhead
I don't see how they could hurt me real bad though. I mean, except calling the police or something, but even that isn't "hurting me real bad", just giving me good reason to dislike them even more.


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## Judis (Jul 28, 2013)

@School,

I occasionally do psychological experiments that some mite say "Go too far".

Maybe I'm a horrible person also ! But then, I don't like to think like that..

You see, someone has to do it. No, I have to do it !

I have a problem ? No, they have a problem ! They just can't see that I'm just trying to make it alright !

...Or is it that I shouldn't enjoy it ?

Is it wrong for me to enjoy my work ?


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## School (Apr 29, 2014)

@Judis
We wouldn't get far without experiments.


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## Jonn (Mar 17, 2014)

Dear @School
I know what might be going on, but I will be needing some honest answers to understand what exactly is going on.
A number of scenarios could be happening, depending on a couple of conditions.
If you feel like a bomb, like you've outlived your purpose already and your only purpose left is to take this world down with you in your fall. Than I might have an answer.
If you feel like a goddess, you'll conquer and control their small minds and outlive them with power. 
Than I also might have an answer, but of a different kind.
In short. Do you feel above or below?


No matter the answer you'll give, I still think you are a good person. 
Maku Yuenzhuen


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## School (Apr 29, 2014)

@MakuYuen
Both, just not at the same time. It usually starts out with one and end with the other, but not always in the same order.


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## Jonn (Mar 17, 2014)

Alright, sufficient information has been achieved. 

My dear @ school.
Let me explain your scenario to you, but from the outside in.
I'll be doing a shitty detailed description and a small simple one(second one is at bottom)

*Long version*
What you've described so far, would be the ordinary behaviour one goes through when hittting the bottom of their "emotional" ocean. Though one might think they do not have emotions, everybody has them and everybody has to live with them, no matter how far away they've been hidden away.

While INTPs, might dislike emotions because they influence ones logical decisioning and logical thinking. I warn you to attempt to ressonate with your emotional needs quickly, because at this rate you'll be needing to fix up your emotions or the ocean turns to storm. 
One of my INTJ friends once preeched a powerful quote to me. 
"Inside my head is an unimaginable world, only consisting of two things. The land of logic and the ocean of feelings. When the sun shines bright I walk the lands quitely, beautifully understand all. But when the rain comes, the ocean turns to storm and the waves fall into the land and disturbs my quite and beauty."

All though emotions might not be of any value to you, you still have them and they seem to be turning to storm.
Like with everyone else, you'll have to comfort your feelings, before they stop messing with your mind.
Usually in these situations people need comfort on various levels, if some of the different components of any of the levels are missing. You surely could guess it, your mind will be doing tupsy turvy from sunrise to sundown.
So most importantly what do you need and what to do about it?


First you must know what the emotional code is in this situation.
Emotions are "simple" but strangely coded logic.
an example being sorrow, as the thing you are "feeling" right now.
Sorrow is not the same as sadness, sadness is the feeling felt when losing something. Also this is the reason, you might not feel "true" sadness, but instead you've just sorta guessed it could be sadness, but not really the sadness else felt.

Sorrow is the feeling felt when falling off of happiness into the abyss between sadness, anger and jalousy.
Sorrow comes from a feeling of not being valued enough, not being loved enough, not knowing ones road forward.
It isn't directly connected with the other emotions as it is a combination of different emotions.
Sadness, for losing ones "honor" or "value" along with the love of important loved ones. It might not be a direct lose, but mostly it is an indirect lose, meaning one will slowly fade inside, through the "small things". Therefore new and greater "approval" will be needed for one to regain their "honor" or "value".
Anger, towards others maybe towards the ones who stopped loving or valuing one. Other times it'll be towards strangers or acquintances. Oftenly this comes from not knowing the actual location of emotional need, meaning you let your anger go onto the ones you've guessed will be needed to give you emotional support. 
Jalousy, comes from the need to obtain emotional support. Just like others. Any human will know how happiness looks like and therefore would want "their" happiness, when not having happiness themselves.



The quickest way to deal with sorrow is to simply prevent them. I as a healthy ESFJ male already know how to prevent myself from falling face first into sorrow, but it isn't always easy to prevent... Let alone stop.
Therefore rebuilding one self after hitting the bottom of your emotional ocean is the best way back to the surface.

What you will be needing is comfort, emotionally, mentally and physically.
Your basic needs: food, water, sleep, shelter, electricity, love. Should all be satisfied, if they aren't. Get your ass up and satisfy them at once, if you don't have some of these things, get right to the government, because it is human rights and everyone should have atleast these things satisfied.
Your emotional needs: unconditional love, friends, safety, trust, self-value, self-satisfaction, freedom to think.
These are a bit more complex. In case you live with a lot of emotional people like me, you might fall into sorrow, because INTPs will be very much in need of logical intuitive people. With sensing and feeling people misunderstandings might appear everywhere and it might harm your self-value. Being able to trust people around you and being loved is also very important, because it will make sure you have an emotional and feelings based free space.


*Short version*
You are in need of mental, physical and spiritual satisfaction. In short short. You need to be loved, valued and happy.
If you aren't loved, valued and happy. Your mental functions will attempt to "satisfy" you by other means. Which in this case is the need to get a response, to an idea(or so I believe) the idea could be anything your mind stumbles upon. Such as horrific pictures of human flesh wounds or something alike.

If you grow happy or satisfied, I bet you, you'll slowly stop your current hobby of terrorizing younger girls with powerful images.


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## Judis (Jul 28, 2013)

Dear @MakuYuen,

Your interesting post has made me somewhat curios.

You seem to be well versed in Psychology and seem also very gifted in the digital learning stile.

And to make things even more interesting is that it says that you are '19' years of age....

It really isn't my place to judge, but are you really 19 ?

I was certain that each generation was getting dumber, and yet here you are..


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## Jonn (Mar 17, 2014)

Thanks a lot @Judis.
I do not see myself as gifted or well versed, but I see it as being somewhat safe in the emotional world.
But remember psychology isn't in anyway limited to emotions.

I am a 19 year old ESFJ lad living in Denmark. Which means 2 things for my development.
I've lived a safe life and a life with a lot of space to develop knowledge on emotions.


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## Judis (Jul 28, 2013)

MakuYuen said:


> Thanks a lot @_Judis_.
> I do not see myself as gifted or well versed, but I see it as being somewhat safe in the emotional world.
> But remember psychology isn't in anyway limited to emotions.
> 
> ...



Hmm, "The Humility Card". Very smooth !

However, you haven't thrown me off your trail yet..

Maybe I live in a place full of degenerates, but I haven't met a 19 year old with this kind of thought.

This makes me naturally suspicious !


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## Jonn (Mar 17, 2014)

You're INTP too right? 
I am guessing you too are you since you speak of degenerates in your neighbourhood.
I do get a lot of compliments regarding my knowledge on emotions. But I really do not think it is special in anyway.
I am young and might grow with the knowledge more, maybe later in life, when my knowledge has grown further. 
Maybe than I'll accept it. But still I am only 19 o.o I don't know why my age is remarkable in this.


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## Judis (Jul 28, 2013)

MakuYuen said:


> You're INTP too right?
> I am guessing you too are you since you speak of degenerates in your neighbourhood.
> I do get a lot of compliments regarding my knowledge on emotions. But I really do not think it is special in anyway.
> I am young and might grow with the knowledge more, maybe later in life, when my knowledge has grown further.
> Maybe than I'll accept it. But still I am only 19 o.o I don't know why my age is remarkable in this.



Very nice with the profiling !

Your attempt to find common ground is also amusing !

However, I don't look to Typology, well, not anymore at least..

Oh, and round two with "The humility Card" ! Amazing !

To be honest, I'm a bit of an Opportunist, but sometime I like a little challenge.

This is very interesting for me. I am truly having fun !

P.S. I'm still not convinced..


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## Jonn (Mar 17, 2014)

I am happy to intrigue you, though I am unsure how to prove to you I am a 19 year old fella from Denmark, I could give out my Facebook or something like that. But it would have the possibility of unwanted effect on my personal life. Anyhow I enjoy intriguing you. And I still remind within character.

I also will attempt to turn back to the topic, since I cannot assure myself @School has gained necessary answers.


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## Judis (Jul 28, 2013)

MakuYuen said:


> I am happy to intrigue you, though I am unsure how to prove to you I am a 19 year old fella from Denmark, I could give out my Facebook or something like that. But it would have the possibility of unwanted effect on my personal life. Anyhow I enjoy intriguing you. And I still remind within character.



Your facebook wouldn't be that helpful to me anyway..

It could be an extension of your "19 year old" profile. 
(I'm sure that I could prove that I'm 19 as well, just need to get out some old pictures, or maybe of some random...)

The real proof would come from your behavior anyway.

I guess what I am most curios about is why you would say that you are 19 on your profile ?

You'r probably going to say something like, "Because I am 19.", but then, I am a naturally paranoid character !


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## Jonn (Mar 17, 2014)

I will maintain my suspected behavior and remain on the course of staying as a 19 year old. But you too have sparked my interest. Why do you believe I am not who I say I am?


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## Judis (Jul 28, 2013)

MakuYuen said:


> I will maintain my suspected behavior and remain on the course of staying as a 19 year old.


Oh ? Ok, whatever makes you happy ! Hmm... To remain as a 19 year old ? But for how long ?



> But you too have sparked my interest. Why do you believe I am not who I say I am?



Well I'm glad I'm making someone curios ! There are too many people who are locked inside their own heads..

Ok, so how about I put it to you like this...

You say one thing, but your behavior says another. Well, that's not entirely true. You say that you specialize in the emotional side to psychology, that much I do believe !

It's just your age part that doesn't add up. A 19 year old profiling me ?! Ok.... < Not likely.


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## Jonn (Mar 17, 2014)

I'll remain 19 for another 11 months, since I've just turned 19 this august. 
I won't suddenly I burst out and attempt to explain something which isn't. I am not a 52 year old psychologist. I'm a 19 year old high school fresh man, who've been experiencing a lot of stuff, which rushed me into knowledge of emotions.

You say my behavior doesn't fit my age? How do you believe my behavior should be in relation to my age?
Perhaps how should my phrasing, my knowledge basis and my cognitive functions remain?
Would I have to be slower? Quicker? More aggressive? Less sensing? Less knowing? 
Where would you place me? 

Let me explain how I see things, perhaps you'll know the connection from my age to what you see.


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## Judis (Jul 28, 2013)

MakuYuen said:


> I'll remain 19 for another 11 months, since I've just turned 19 this august.
> I won't suddenly I burst out and attempt to explain something which isn't. I am not a 52 year old psychologist. I'm a 19 year old high school fresh man, who've been experiencing a lot of stuff, which rushed me into knowledge of emotions.
> 
> You say my behavior doesn't fit my age? How do you believe my behavior should be in relation to my age?
> ...



I haven't make you angry, have I ?

It's curios that you mentioned "52" as an age you claim not to be... That is being very specific.. 
(Which would explain why you haven't quoted me once)

I know you'r very intelligent, especially in psychology.

Your area in psychology is emotions, but mine is Illusion.

I understand illusions and Fabrications that people attempt to weave. I understand and Learn form these "people".

I'm going to put it to you like this...

I know you'r not 19.


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## Jonn (Mar 17, 2014)

Why would I be mad about this conversation. I find it intriguing that anyone would think me different from what I am. Though I cannot blame you, for it happens often. If you wish to confirm your thoughts of me being the age of my example. Please do refrain from not using logic. I do not wish to do more logical than an INTP. The connection between me quoting you and me not quoting you doesn't stand in connection with my example of age of a psychologist. I stopped quoting you since the last 3 replies. I only made the example in my last post.

I am curious who are you. I apologize if you feel me getting too close to you. We've established ground for the connecting between MBTI types. I'm ESFJ and you are INTP. But where the stuff goes tricky and I'm swimming in the highschool 19 year old or old psychologist. I've been wondering who are you. Student, psychologist, clever old sir? 

So you see others in your main course or do you think in philosophies, I am somewhat new to the NT minds and only recently started reading the theory on different NT goals. Though I've been aware of the emotional states of the different types for quite some time. My parents are both T-users. Therefore I see emotions in a way you would find useful.

I'll bounce it back to you. I'm 19


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## Chamberlain (Dec 28, 2012)

Could you not hijack this thread or something


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## FourLeafCloafer (Aug 5, 2014)

@Judis

Why would knowledge and insight signify that someone is above a certain age? There is nothing @MakuYuen does that implies that he is insincere... Just you doubting him. How can you know someones ages from a few forum posts? Sometimes young people know a lot about certain topics. His seems to be psychology, and especially the emotional part. Others might be well versed in theology, biology, engineering or economy, but that is just natural - 19 years is a normal age to become really good at some things for the first time.

Him knowing things, and you seeing things in his posts that are not there ('52 is specific' really? it's just a number! Remember, typing gives you more time to be specific than talking does!) Does not make him a liar who, for some reason not even YOU claim to know makes him younger.

And there's nothing wrong with being humble. Particularly when you are nineteen.


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## Jonn (Mar 17, 2014)

I do apologize for highjacking the thread. But I haven't seen @School around for some time. I am wondering where she escaped to?
Or whether my advice helped her out. 

I also did enjoy the conversation with @Judis. I hope we might be capable of debating some stuff around here. Perhaps make a general chat topic?


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## Judis (Jul 28, 2013)

MakuYuen said:


> I do apologize for highjacking the thread. But I haven't seen @_School_ around for some time. I am wondering where she escaped to?
> Or whether my advice helped her out.


I am in agreement with this !

We have strayed a bit far from the original topic.




> I also did enjoy the conversation with @_Judis_. I hope we might be capable of debating some stuff around here. Perhaps make a general chat topic?



That won't be necessary, although I can see it clear like daylight. I have no proof that the common person can actually process, so this "Discussion" won't get resolved..

Until next time "Professor MakuYuen".


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## School (Apr 29, 2014)

@MakuYuen
Wow, it's been a week already. Sorry about that. Time flies by, way too fast.

It's a long text you wrote there, and it makes sense, but there's one thing you didn't really tell me. _How?_ I've got people who care about me, that's alright I guess, but I don't know. I have friends, but not "good" ones. They aren't bad people or anything, they're just not good for me. I can't seem to find anyone else though, so for now I'm stuck with them. 

By the way, I've been showing the girls pictures this week too, they don't seem happy about it. It's just pictures though. I didn't bother with the videos this week, I didn't need them. 

Also, okay, I'll admit... one of the reasons I didn't answer earlier was because of Judis doubting your age. That was funny. I don't doubt your age, not saying that in a bad way or anything, it's just that you haven't done anything to make it seem unlikely.


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## He's a Superhero! (May 1, 2013)

School said:


> So, I made a thread here a while ago. (Trolling and being extremely disrespectful).
> 
> We got that mostly wrapped up, I mean, we figured out some things and all. I think so, at least.
> 
> ...


Well it's good that you're venting your thoughts, it's a good step in the right direction. You may be surprised that there are people everywhere who have similar thoughts - I'm not one personally, but since experiencing relationships with others who are similar it has made me try to research this.

I can't say for sure what your situation is, but do you know anything about ASPD? Could be entirely different, but if you do have this then it may be helpful, as knowing what you have is necessary to fully progress...and I believe you can progress!


***

*@**MakuYuen**, *I've been reading the conversation between you and another member. I can see why he thinks you are not really 19, as what you wrote up is typically far more advanced than what we generally expect of 19 year olds, meaning that if you are telling the truth then you are a very rare and especially unique 19 year old (not a bad thing to be)...but hey, I've heard of a 5 y.o who paints like a master painter, so despite my suspicions, who am I to judge! I don't think many will actually care how old you are anyway, 19 or otherwise.


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## intraconsensious (Feb 16, 2014)

Lol hi. Was one of those who read most of your previous thread, but didn't comment till now.

Not sure why you decided to create a new thread. Chances are people will repeat the same thing again, but if you need validation/find venting helps by all means I guess. 



School said:


> And I'm on the edge here. Kind of. I don't want them to get so mad they'll call the police or anything (they're REALLY mad at me now. It's worse than I thought it would be. It's funny, but I think they might go too far). They've done it before because they were worried, and they've said they are worried now too, so that makes me worried. Haha. Yeah.
> 
> Well, on the other hand, why would it matter? You know, my parents would get disappointed and all that, maybe I'd have to go see a therapist or whatever. That stupid stuff. Why would it matter though? It's only life. It's nothing serious.


Its been said on the previous thread I think. Its serious because your actions may cause them further depression, by increasing their sense of worthlessness, which could drive them to suicide. For possible reasons stated in previous thread, you find their reactions funny regardless.

You show you have a conscience but it seems to be driven by fear of getting into trouble. In other words, you appear to think like how kids do. Previous thread someone suggested this could be due to you never learnt how to grow out from that 'kid phase'...



School said:


> And one more thing. No therapy for me. Never ever. Sorry to bother you with all this. I don't know.


Maybe you should seriously reconsider that since...you are unable to control your actions. You feel disappointed in yourself that you do such actions over and over... Only solution I can think of is find someone to distract and stop you from it. One therapist is not enough to judge all(if you have only seen one).

I'm probably not much help so I just continue lurking at the back. Good luck in getting out of this mental state(I'm not sure what to call this, but I'm not saying you are mentally unstable or anything, I have no right to judge.)


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## DAPHNE XO (Jan 16, 2012)

I don't know what help you seem to want. And I honestly doubt you want help. You just want validation it seems. Someone who truly wants help would seek a professional at the very least. What you're doing is similar to someone showing their broken leg to a palaeontologist expecting him to have a magic cure when 1) He's not trained to help them and 2) he genuinely doesn't care either way.



> I'm just confused and angry and disappointed and all that. I should be able to just not go back there, right? It's so easy, just don't go there! Gah. I don't know. Why do I do this, why do I like it so much, why can't I just stop, why do I not really care? Why am I being such an ass, why do I do this?


I think you've become addicted to this activity. All addictions work in the same way. They hijack our reward system and the perceived "reward" makes us act in a certain way (aka engage in goal-directed behaviours) expecting the same rush of excitement every time. There are youtube videos on experiments done in the 1950s showing how addictive behaviours are so instinctual, if you would like me to show you....

But the thing is, if you're addicted to an activity: the more you do it, the less pleasure it brings. So you start to "up the ante" (so to speak) in order to intensify the "rush."

At this point, you _do_ need help. I'm sorry but you cannot attempt to solve this issue without a therapist; your entire life has been unstable - and I seriously doubt you've told us all of it, which is fine, it's none of our business - and it seems rife with emotional neglect.

What I'm saying is, bullying people online isn't _the_ problem, it's a symptom of a much larger problem in general. I'm guessing this because you seem to be unhappy in general.

If you are truly determined to stay away from the very people that will help you, then the only thing that will make you change is to get caught - so, let yourself get caught while you're still a minor.

Because unfortunately, bad habits die hard, and with your background, it becomes even harder.

And unfortunately, due to your age, appeals to your conscience just will not work. I don't think you've had time to really develop, and adopt, your own principles of right and wrong behaviour. Given the fact you've only ever seen bad behaviour... I'm not surprised you seem so... apathetic, to how your behaviour will affect others.

This is not to absolve you of any responsibility, rather, to make you aware of the reality of the situation: you have an addiction and your only worry is being caught. Now, where have we seen this before?

If you want a better scare tactic than just "oogey boogey the gobbament gon' catch ya rusty ass" how about "you're legitimately becoming your father, only the type of addiction is different."

You say you love him sure, but you also know what a "bad" person he is.

Lets see how your conscience wrestles with this one. I'm intrigued.


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## Jonn (Mar 17, 2014)

@DaphneDelRey I thank you a ton.
I was wondering how to put it. But it seems you've done an incredible job.
Dear miss @School. I've given you the core bricks. Now I cannot tell you much more without letting my own self turn to an attempt of pleasing you. My age has nothing to do with the amount of cognitive ability I may have or not have. I do not believe bit that any steps I can take to help you will actually help will you.

Enthusiasmen and willpower is what you seem to lack and I cannot give that to you. I can explain it and understand it and enhance my own. But YOU are the core of this happening and none, but you can ever help you.


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## Polexia (Apr 22, 2014)

@Judis @MakuYuen you could settle this over Skype video chat... For example :ninja: (men maku, går du første året på high school? Eller siste?) 


@School I would reconsider seeking professional help. Your behavior seems highly destructive (which, from what I gather is what you find amusing about it). 

You've gotten some fairly good advice as to how you can tackle this, but still wanted to stress the therapy aspect. Therapy might not only help you deal with this destructive behavior, and as someone said: addiction, but can also give you tools for personal and emotional growth. This might lead you to be able to find other activities that are more enjoyable to you.


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