# NTs Don't Play Well With Others



## Marisa (Apr 26, 2012)

It might just be me. I might just be misanthropic and awful. But I don't know how to (initially) get along with some people. Sure, I love to have laughs and joke around. But some people don't inspire that from me. I get along really well with my boyfriend (ENFJ) and best friends (INTJ and ENFP), but is it really type related? Do NTs or specifically ENTPs only really mingle on a personal level with intuitives? I have many SP and SJ friends, but none I'd miss losing if I had to lose them. People have commented on how fickle I am as a friend, but it seems to only be toward/against people who are dissimilar to me. 

Do other NTs play well with others?


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

When I was in school I would sometimes say I had no friends or didnt get along with anyone, and my mom said it's because I'm picky. This was mostly jr high age, maybe also high school. I dunno, she still says it once in awhile and I'm 24. Lol. I also seem to have an N-bias. You'd think some of us would have a T bias as well.... I mean, ultimately I feel that I have more of a maturity bias than anything. I prefer to be around actualized people (when I do want to be around people). Seeing as actualization is more of an NT value, I guess this can lead to a bias.


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## stiletto (Oct 26, 2013)

I got "talkative" and "bossy" on the majority of my reports cards. As a child, I did not get along with others if I was not in charge.


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## XZ9 (Nov 16, 2013)

ENTP prefer friends who were idea-originated. This is probably why you prefer intuitives over sensors.


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## starscream430 (Jan 14, 2014)

I might be unusual for an INTJ, but I am willing to "play nice" with people if they shared the same goals as me and proven themselves competent to carry out the task at hand. If they are dumbarses who prefer games to work, I will muscle up and take control of the situation because I don't want to fail due to their idiocy :frustrating:.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

starscream430 said:


> I might be unusual for an INTJ, but I am willing to "play nice" with people if they shared the same goals as me and proven themselves competent to carry out the task at hand. If they are dumbarses who prefer games to work, I will muscle up and take control of the situation because I don't want to fail due to their idiocy :frustrating:.


That doesn't sound unusual for an INTJ. :laughing:


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## snowflakes (Aug 21, 2014)

Thanks to the chameleon, I have a bunch of friends. It takes a lot of energy out of you at first and can stress you out, but I got used to it after a while. It's as simple as observing and then mirroring. I used to not talk at all, really but eh I'd say I have a pretty good social life.


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## starscream430 (Jan 14, 2014)

ninjahitsawall said:


> That doesn't sound unusual for an INTJ. :laughing:


I'm just comparing it to the typical INTJ response, seen here from one of my favorite TV shows :kitteh:


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## Harizu (Apr 27, 2014)

stiletto said:


> I got "talkative" and "bossy" on the majority of my reports cards. As a child, I did not get along with others if I was not in charge.


same here


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## Rhaegar (Aug 3, 2014)

I got along with most people while I grew up, although I didn't particulary care for many of them on an emotional level. People often described me as weird and unpredictable, but I must've had some charm because people wanted to be my friends. Nowadays I'm not so social. I can be terrible at social gatherings and parties while sober because there's so much small talk, and small talkmakes me so bored and uncomfortable. I can get very excited if people talk about interesting things like philosophy, politics, literature/films/music/media and so on, though. The problem I have with random small talk is that I don't feel like we're getting anywhere, and we're not breaking any barriers or bonding. I want to have a critical/deep/meaningful conversation with someone, because it weeds out all that superficial bullshit that feels more like a formality than anything. Don't get me wrong, I love discussing the profound and mundane, but stuff like, "what do you like?" or "how goes work/your studies" just aren't conversation starters that I'm good with. I really like people, but they can be tricky to get along with in the beginning.

I like to talk and tell people what to do when I know my shit, too. Perhaps that makes me slightly bossy.


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## Clyme (Jul 17, 2014)

Honestly, I'm relatively friendly with people. I'm usually very considerate and caring towards people. The only time this begins to disintegrate is when they engage me in an intellectual debate. Once they enter this realm, I do speak my mind freely and I don't refrain from debating. When people assert things that are incorrect or based in poor logic, I point it out. So, perhaps this makes me an undesirable conversational partner in a lot of social settings, but I'm otherwise quite pleasant.


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## Polexia (Apr 22, 2014)

EDIT:
Just realized your post was most likely directed at the OP and not a generalization :grin: :wink: oh well, at least I weighed in on my preferences 



Great_Thinker said:


> ENTP prefer friends who were idea-originated. This is probably why you prefer intuitives over sensors.


I disagree. I think that really depends on the ENTP and what qualities they find appealing in others. Lol or maybe I'm just an exception to the "rule". 

My entire life I have been surrounded by many sensors and some of the people I'm closest to right now are sensors. I think sensors can be quite refreshing. Although some SJs can drive me nuts with their preconception of "this is how the world works" or their love for rules, when they love to set ground rules for others or flat out think that the way they see the world is how you should see/feel/think... that can drive me up the wall. Also when they are limited when looking for possibilities. 

My point being that I find many sensors (especially ESTPs, ESFJs and ISTPs to be fun and I like that they can offer me their perspective on things.). My ESTJ sister is also one of the more fun individuals I love hanging around. 

I sometimes feel that their Se and Si strengths helps feed my Ne and my Ti and helps me gain a broader perspective on this madness called life. 



Sent from my iPhone using TapaTalk


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## starwars (Sep 5, 2014)

When I was younger, I was super shy. Also at first the kids liked me, but as time went on they didnt. I think thats from my blunt side. Now Ive learned how to control it (mostly), and have friends all around. Except the super sensitive type, I have a hard time with. My 2 best friends are ESFP and ENFP. I also get along with my ESTP, but him not able to focus on the future, I cant really connect


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## PowerShell (Feb 3, 2013)

I try to get along with everyone but I am very opinionated and do tend to take charge. It was kind of funny because one of my friends mentioned that someone was complaining about how they could hang with me because I was so opinionated. He said he told them, "That's why we love him." People tend to like me or hate me. I guess it's a take ir or leave it lol That never stopped me from having a wide circle of friends.


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## Mercutio (Apr 28, 2013)

ninjahitsawall said:


> When I was in school I would sometimes say I had no friends or didnt get along with anyone, and my mom said it's because I'm picky. This was mostly jr high age, maybe also high school. I dunno, she still says it once in awhile and I'm 24. Lol. I also seem to have an N-bias. You'd think some of us would have a T bias as well.... I mean, ultimately I feel that I have more of a maturity bias than anything. I prefer to be around actualized people (when I do want to be around people). Seeing as actualization is more of an NT value, I guess this can lead to a bias.


Ah, if I had a dollar for every time my mom brought up the subject of my "people-pickiness"...fickle as I am with my feelings toward anyone, I'd have to agree with the concept of a built in N-bias. I'm not so shallow as to completley shun people in the sensing spectrum simply because they don't appreciate the same things I do; but just like everyone else, I do prefer those who I can relate to the most (although, truth be told, in my experience finding another NT is like searching for a needle in a haystack). My conclusion is that I am most capable of tolerating those with greater similarity, and less so to those who have a conflicting disposition.


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## Gazoo (Sep 7, 2014)

My life became a wonderful thing once I realized I don't want to be liked by other people. This is not at all to say I desire to be disliked by anyone. It just means needing or wanting others' stamp of approval on my life has no motivating value for me. 

Being liked & respected (which is different than being likable & respectable) are frustrating burdens to acquire & unbearable weights to maintain. 

I still do everything I'd normally do, just not with the agenda of getting approval which I assume is the goal of ‘playing well with others’. People are far more enjoyable when they realize I’m not trying to get anything from them.

So, I guess I don’t play well, or poorly for that matter, with anyone.


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