# What types are INFPs most likely to clash with?



## Eren Jaegerbomb (Nov 13, 2015)

I'm just thinking about the time when I'd clash with my ex co-worker a lot. We seemed similar with our ideas and 'compassion' (can't think of a better word right now), but we just used to clash a lot because some of our opinions were slightly different.


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## Lnicolemille (Jun 5, 2017)

I clash a lot with my cousin who is an ESTP


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## 460202 (May 22, 2017)

I tend to have an issue with NFJs, and I believe that they tend to have an issue with me too. I actually dated an INFJ, but I honestly can't remember how that worked. It might have something to do with the fact that we use completely different functions, but I don't usually clash much with STPs. As far as concepts and theories go, NFJs don't want to explore or jump onto things the way I do, and they seem annoyed with my agnostic, superficial thinking in this realm. They also need to take time away to ruminate on such things, while I get excited and want to talk and talk and talk about them. I find many Fe types pretty insensitive to my feelings, mainly because they don't seem to realize that I'm having any just because I'm not explicitly showing them. So the Fe coupled with the Ni clashes with me a lot.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

In terms of theory, ESxJs, and maybe ExTJs. Personally I struggle most with SJs.


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## isn't anything (Apr 6, 2017)

Personally I think any INXX type will clash with SJs. They're very bullheaded at times.


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## inmymind (Feb 15, 2016)

I think I have the hardest time with SJ's.


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## Witch of Oreo (Jun 23, 2014)

SJ's for sure. I really don't think I ACTUALLY got along with one (one ESTJ being an exception).

I get along just fine with SP's normally. Actually, I think I clash with ESTP's on many topics more than with SJ's, but I don't feel any irritation because of it. I'm more like, "yeah, sure, if that's what you think".

With SJ's, I find that we just can't come to an agreement seeing the situation in absolutely the same way, thinking with the same categories - and agree on many things, but desicions we make end up heading in totally different directions. I have no idea why it ends up this way.

I also find that I end up getting an "upper hand" kind of in relations with ISxPs. ISTP and ISFP friends I have are so laid-back, almost to a fault - and that's coming from a master of procrastination.

I do have to say that they are more... productive than me professionally, but that's a different story.

NT's are a hit or miss generally. Though I personally find xNTJs easier to communicate with than xNTPs.


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## Sergiey (Jun 8, 2017)

Well, I have hard time living with extroverts (except ENFP). They all talk too much, they are too annoying and too loud. 
One of my 3 best friends is ENFP actually, we have a bond because of our compassion and optimism.

Sometimes it's hard to understand each other between INFP and INFJ but I can't say anything bad about any INFJ. 2 INFJs helped me to get out of depression and showed me I don't have to live in pain and hatred. But they follow rules too much. They care about achievements and time too much. Sometimes it looks like they don't care, while they actually really do(!).

Some conflicts come between ISFPs and me, ironically I have 2 ISFP friends. One of them uses to be too realistic (sometimes), so that's why we use to have arguments. What's even more ironic. We both want to do same things in life (preferably together) but we imagine way of doing it totally different! And they tend to be dreamers one day, while realists next day.

But I think that people I can't stand are ESTx. Loud. Realistic. Logic. I have ESTP cousin, as I try to ignore people I don't like, he is not a person you can avoid. He is everywhere. He is so loud. Not creative. And he makes such a big mess. Gosh. But I also have cousin who's ISTP. And we actually like each other. I feel happy when I can help / teach him doing something (as S he needs that, as F I like doing that). Sometimes he just gets annoyed / angry too early, when I'm trying to teach him anything. Funny difference between ESTP and ISTP is that, when ESTP wants something, he won't step back. While ISTP does, you can negotiate with him. But I catch both personalities lie a lot. (Unlike ISFPs, INFxs or ENFP).

So finally. I don't like people who are loud, heartless, arrogant, egoistic and not creative. So ESTPs in short.


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## Cherry (May 28, 2017)

ENTJ, INTJ, ESTJ, ESTP, ISTP, ISTJ, INTP, ENTP, ESFJ

But there are always individual exceptions


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## Lakigigar (Jan 4, 2016)

All of them


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## Goetterdaemmerung (Dec 25, 2015)

I'd wager ISTPs and ESTJs?


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## Witch of Oreo (Jun 23, 2014)

Now that I think of it more, it's eneagramm type 8's are the most annoying to me.
My friend for example, as I stated, is ESTJ, but he hardly comes across as one - I'd say he is type 3 with a strong 4 wing, all things considered. No mistake about ESTJ, but few NT's or NF's I knew are as chill and open-minded as him.


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## Aelthwyn (Oct 27, 2010)

*What Types are INFPs most likely to clash with?*

Over-all we tend to be good at getting along (at least on the surface) despite differences, because of our tendency to have insight about other personalities along with our dislike of open conflict. But it's true we can find many types a bit difficult to deal with, and vice versa.

hmmm.... 

We usually clash with commanding, strong personalities. We hate being bossed around (even when the other person may not realize they're doing it) and often feel bowled over like we're not even seen or heard and can't have a proper conversation or relationship. I think these are usually J types, probably especially E_TJs. We tend to be quietly stubborn, something which is often annoying to commanding people, skirting around power plays etc. 

We usually clash with blunt, critical people who don't have much respect for feelings and don't show sensitivity and tact. They often find us annoyingly 'soft' just as we find them 'mean' and abrasive (even if it may be unintentional on their part). Generally these are Ts, but that's not to say that we clash with all Ts, it depends on the individual. While some INFPs do enjoy debate, many of us find NT's style of debating to sound too much like a personal attack (like with tone of voice suggesting the other person is stupid to not agree) which causes us to react in defense of ourselves rather than focusing on the topic, and the conversation is ruined for both parties.

We usually clash with people who are very social-group oriented (probably FJs) in that we tend to be too individualistic. We often find social expectations silly or suffocating and refuse to submit to them. We are comfortable with going our separate ways so each individual is pleased in cases where splitting off seems rude and unacceptable to the more socially minded. We also tend to not have a lot of respect for social hierarchy, though our non-confrontational preferences often compel us to play along and people please despite it going against our grain. 

I also think STPs can seem completely foreign to us, and they may not think much of us. We tend to be 'spaced out' and often prefer observing over experiencing first hand, something they may find pathetic or useless or boring, while we may find them a bit overwhelming, or boring too. STPs seem to have a high value of competence and not showing weakness, and INFPs generally don't have the 'badass' 'don't need anyone'-ness that would inspire respect from them. When it comes to perceiver's flexibility (and acceptance of differences) we may find them easier to get along with than STJs, but there is also plenty of opportunity for clashing.


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## Eren Jaegerbomb (Nov 13, 2015)

Aelthwyn said:


> *What Types are INFPs most likely to clash with?*
> 
> Over-all we tend to be good at getting along (at least on the surface) despite differences, because of our tendency to have insight about other personalities along with our dislike of open conflict. But it's true we can find many types a bit difficult to deal with, and vice versa.
> 
> ...


Yeah. I think one of my co workers might be ISTP or INTP. We get along but we have disagreements about quite a few things. And I gave him what for the other day when I had enough of his shit.
One time I started crying about something at work and by his body language reaction he seemed to think, "Ugh, she's crying" and just turns around and continues with his work. I say this because he was listening to my conversation with someone else, until I started crying..

I tend to get frustrated with bubbly types maybe like ExFJs who think what I like doing is weird. Or try to force me to do something because it's "fun".

My dad is ESTJ. When we were at the shops today he said if I would like apricot chicken for dinner. I said no I don't like apricot. Then he went on about how "there's always someone who doesn't like something in this house". Then I said, "Well, you have things you don't like", "I don't have things that I don't like I eat anything. I eat everything that's put in front of me". Okay... Bullshit, you won't buy sushi. My sister (possibly ENTJ or ENTP) and I were talking about one time how contradictory our dad can be. So frustrating. Nope, he _never_ leaves things out, he _never_ does xyz... >_> 
Is this an ESTJ feeling... Like... Someone's pointed something out to them and that can't accept it? I don't want to be disrespectful to my dad, how the heck do I get around these things. You mention something, try to have a "debate" but he always talks over the top of you abd says, "NO, you do X all the time", "You've NEVER asked me about Y". He makes it seems like we always or never do something....


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## guacamolefairy (Jun 26, 2017)

.


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## guacamolefairy (Jun 26, 2017)

Flower Hat said:


> I tend to have an issue with NFJs, and I believe that they tend to have an issue with me too. I actually dated an INFJ, but I honestly can't remember how that worked. It might have something to do with the fact that we use completely different functions, but I don't usually clash much with STPs. As far as concepts and theories go, NFJs don't want to explore or jump onto things the way I do, and they seem annoyed with my agnostic, superficial thinking in this realm. ** They also need to take time away to ruminate on such things, while I get excited and want to talk and talk and talk about them.**
> * *I find many Fe types pretty insensitive to my feelings, mainly because they don't seem to realize that I'm having any just because I'm not explicitly showing them. So the Fe coupled with the Ni clashes with me a lot.


 **
^ I feel this so hard


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## Syvelocin (Apr 4, 2014)

Extraverted judgers. I can come up with many people of other types that I both get along with and don't get along with, or both at the same time like ESFPs, but I routinely have trouble with Te and Fe doms. I have several good friends in IxTJs and IxFJs though.


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## toysoldier (Aug 31, 2016)

Sergiey said:


> They care about achievements and time too much. Sometimes it looks like they don't care, while they actually really do(!)


Gosh, this is so true, I had to say something. I couldn't put my finger on it before but I realise that while they can seem with the kindly Fe to reflect back - dare I say it - more profound takes and seem accepting of all perspectives, they struggle with seeing past veneers and mainstream quantifiable measures. 

The world is easier to assess with tangibles...and I'm not sure they even realise they are blind to the deeper significance of things when they observe only the easiest features to notice - like what you can accumulate or tabulate or list and worst of all, what the broad interconnected system currently privileges as worthwhile accumulations.  ....little understanding they've internalised the matrices of what matters because they've been well-programmed to function efficiently in the status quo. 
Maybe this sounds all negative but it's probably both the natural and least self-destructive way to survive for an intuitive. 

Nevertheless, it does still mean that the mainstream measures of worth jive more to an INFJ than an INFP and that they could see atypical models of achievement as less valuable. It can make for a frustrating time when the types communicate about subjects that cannot be easily reduced to numbers/quantifiable features/measured against popular wisdom.

I'm not sure but maybe it's the Se in the functional stack that does this because it can seem like a sensor thing to do - to see primarily with your eyes, or in combo with Fe, to accept what's more socially popular and not register all the subtleties and arbitrariness of existence that mean rules and schedules and processes and templates and one-size-fits-all and efficiency don't always = good.

Caveats are due for Ni, of course. It clearly tempers the other functions so that INFJs are still the soft, magical people they are. 

Meh, but what do I know... I'm just a hypersensitive, daydreaming, talks-to-oneself, inside-my-head, love-me-lurrve-me whatchamacallit.


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## Bear987 (May 13, 2012)

I generally like SPs because they can be fun and so skillful. I love watching them perform and I love telling them how awesome they are. SPs who I like, enjoy being enjoyed - if that makes sense. They do not question my motives - are quite content with my adoring them, taking it at face-value. I love how SPs at times successfully unravel what thoughts I am entertaining - and care mostly about being able to finding out - they seem to forego on making any value judgements in the process, which makes me feel somewhat safe.

I generally cannot be with SJs for long. I can see how they implement structure and what difference they make when it comes to having a civilization at all, but the way they enjoy life is not something that I understand, really. I just don't relate at all. I can work with them, but I cannot _be_ with them for long periods of time. I like to laugh at stuff sometimes, at my own thoughts for instance. SJs tend to stare at me with suspicion and disbelief: there cannot be, should not be a world inside my head that is not accessible to them, that cannot be controlled somehow by them. I don't feel SJs actually understand me and that's unpleasant.

NTs really are - as someone else put it - hit or miss. I love and respect a genius mind, but I strongly dislike being mocked or seen as less valuable somehow - although some smart minds do very well in subtly being benign about this. It's like how the physically strong have a choice between bullying others and just getting stuff done while leaving others alone, or maybe even by putting his strengths to the good use for others at times.

I have been closely working with a an ISFP guy at work, at least I think he is SP, I and F. As a team we've ran into a standstill, both of us wondering what the other will feel, how he'd react or interpret our next move - and therefore we've lost pace. I am not sure how to tackle this yet. We have to break out of the cycle of being too darn polite and caring if we are to get any work done. Does anyone have some advice when it comes to this?


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## Vivid Melody (Apr 25, 2011)

Your first example sounds like a clash due to differences in opinion rather than a clash due to something typology related. I don't automatically get along swimmingly with people of my own type. Sometimes they annoy me to no end. So it really depends more on the individual, in my mind.
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As for INFP's, I'd say it depends on the INFP and enneagram will come into the equation as well. My INFP brother dated an ISTP for three years. They weren't all that compatible, in my opinion and things ended eventually. His best friend is most likely some sort of SP type - probably xSTP. My brother isn't really the type of person that constantly likes going out and doing things and active all the time like you'll get with SP's but if they have similar interests and a similar sense of humor, respect etc. then I guess that's enough for him to form a friendship with them.

He's a type 9 and as such, gets along with most people. If I had to choose a type that INFP's generally clash with, I would think that ExTJ's probably clash with INFP's the most due to dominant Te. Unless....the INFP liked it because the ExTJ made them feel more stable some how...so it all goes back to the INFP's individual preferences. What is true for most, may not necessarily be true for all. Our dad is an ENTJ but he was pretty unhealthy while we were growing up. Kind of narcissistic. 

As for me, I'm an INFJ and me and my brother are really close and get on quite well. We've had conflicts just like any close relationship, but we're always able to resolve them with few misunderstandings or issues along the way. Sometimes he struggles to put his feelings into words and he says I help him do that. I find him to be a lot of fun. We always have fun when we're together. Ne is such a playful function and I love that. He's a kindred spirit.


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