# Am I wrong, in this? Help, please.



## Uialrin (Dec 23, 2012)

I'm not sure if where I stand is the right place to stand...

Basically, I live with my Mother, Brother and Cousin.
And my cousin, got a boyfriend, a couple months ago. Well, since the day that they were together (Which I think was the second or third day of knowing each other, just for time frame...) he stayed over at our house, without ever leaving, save to get new clothes, and then he one day, while everyone was at work or doing one thing or another, moved in, without permission, but my mom gave him a chance and decided to allow him to stay, on a sort of probation type thing. Well, he has been actually rather rude and my mom finds him disrespectful, he insults me often, though that doesn't much matter, and makes my cousin cry almost every other day... 

So, today after doing some silly thing, and getting money from my 15 year old brother, making snarky comments or some such, she snapped, and told him he needed to move out. Well, he stormed out, and went to his aunt's (his previous place of residence) and told my cousin that he would come by to pick up his stuff tomorrow while she is at work. They aren't breaking up or anything he is just moving out.

Now, I love my cousin, she has been one of my best friends since diapers, and well I like to see her smile, but right now it's all tears... And I'm afraid I'm not helping. I stand with my mom in this one, my cousin's boyfriend has been causing my manic/depressive mother way too much stress, and I can't say that I am really very fond of my cousin's boyfriend either, so maybe I'm being selfish?

what I need help with I guess, is am I wrong? Am I being cruel to my cousin and should I support her instead? I'm not usually confused like this, I tend to take strongly to an opinion, but right now, I just don't know... What do you think?

Sorry for the rant, I am just confused, I don't really enjoy conflict...


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## platorepublic (Dec 27, 2012)

I just don't live with people.


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## turtleducks (Jul 13, 2011)

Your mom has every right to kick your cousin's boyfriend out of the house, particularly since he moved in uninvited, so there's nothing wrong with siding with her on that. I don't think you should worry about being biased because you don't like him either, because you have listed some pretty dang good reasons not to like him. That's not being selfish at all.

You can support your cousin without agreeing with her on everything, particularly something as shady as this. She might be angry with you if you don't side with her on this, but it's not helping anyone if you pretend like that weird situation of him living there was okay. Hopefully she'll get over it, and hopefully she'll stop seeing him because he sounds awful.


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## Uialrin (Dec 23, 2012)

Thanks 

I honestly, wasn't sure if I was sound in my dislike. When she talks, she makes him sound like such a good, kind person, and I just don't know.


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## searcheagle (Sep 4, 2011)

Uialrin said:


> Thanks
> 
> I honestly, wasn't sure if I was sound in my dislike. When she talks, she makes him sound like such a good, kind person, and I just don't know.


She's also in love and has blinders on. I think that you and your mom saw the real person and that person isn't pretty.


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## this is my username (Apr 15, 2011)

No, you're not wrong. Kick that sorry loser out!


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## DecadentDisCordis (Dec 17, 2012)

Kick him in the nuts! But seriously if he is going to be disrespectful in somebody elses home and is causing your mother unnecessary stress he deserves the scorn and contempt you hold him with. You and your family do not deserve to be mistreated when its your roof over his head. You are in the right.


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## ilovehard (Jan 1, 2013)

well said!


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## ilovehard (Jan 1, 2013)

Well said, Turtleducks.


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## Arrogus (Dec 26, 2012)

If he makes your cousin cry almost every day then he's obviously a terrible boyfriend; your cousin will be much better in the long run.

To be frank, he sounds like a complete scumbag to me, and I probably would have went a bit further than you in dealing with him....


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## stone100674 (Jun 22, 2012)

You are correct to support your mother in this. Just because he is dating your cousin does not mean that disrespect or dishonorable behavior needs to be tolerated. Besides he moved in on the sly without asking, it was simply presumed that it was okay. That lack of consideration alone would be enough to piss me off completely.


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## VioletTru (Jun 24, 2012)

I am so sorry that you're going through all of this. Like pretty much everyone else who has posted on this thread so far, you shouldn't feel guilty about where you stand and how you feel about this situation. Although this guy is your cousin's boyfriend and you should be supportive of whatever she thinks, he still caused quite a ruckus in your house by being an insensitive and inconsiderate person without regard for the pain he dumped on you, your cousin, and your mother. Since he's dating her, he should be trying to be as respectful as possible to her family.

I would suggest that you have a little heart-to-heart chat with your sister on this matter, when the time is right. Just remember to take her viewpoints into consideration and not judge her too harshly, for she is 'blinded by love' (similar to what searcheagle mentioned earlier).


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