# Being bullied by being compared to mass killers



## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

I notice that a lot of people like to compare me to mass killers. It's not only on this website, it's not only online. I've even had people in my real life compare me to mass killers. I've been compared to Hitler (a lot) Elliot Roger (many many times) Adam Lanza (at least twice) Eric Harris and/or Dylan Klebold (at least three times) Joseph Stalin (a couple of times) Heinrich Himmler (at least once) and that generic "guy who shoots up his school/workplace" too many times to count. This really upsets me because I'm not even a violent person and I don't want to hurt anybody. It seems like people just think I'm quiet so I must be evil and plotting to kill them or something. It really makes me sad and I didn't realize it until now but the bullying didn't stop after I left Catholic school, it's continued until this day in the way people have been drawing comparisons between me and other people in negative ways.

So I need some advice, what should I do to get people to stop? Because apparently just saying "I'm not a violent person" isn't enough for these people, they just continue to be mean and compare me to murderers. And they usually do it because I disagree with them on some issue as well. Is this just a stigma I'll never be able to get past? I really don't know what people see in me that says "oh he's going to be a mass shooter" except that I'm quiet. 

At the very least, does anyone have any ideas on how I could defend myself when people start saying these things?


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## jamaix (Sep 20, 2013)

I have seen that done to you a couple of times, and it bothered me. I really don't know what prompts some people to be so mean. I use to think bullying was something most people eventually grew out of, but that obviously isn't the case. On PerC I have seen some do it as a way to build their thanks up. Insult someone(especially those who it is fashionable to pick on, or who typically hold unpopular opinions) and their buddies will heehaw with them as they rack up their thanks count. Rather immature and terribly cruel and callous. I grew up believing that you should treat others the way you want to be treated. I once believed this was the way most were brought up. I was very wrong and terribly naive about this. 

Most on here know you suffer from depression, and it makes no sense at all to be hateful and mean to you. If they don't want to try to help, they should at least have the decency to say nothing at all. Perhaps that's another thing many weren't taught, " if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." I know this hard to do, but try not to give them the satisfaction of knowing they have hurt you. They really aren't worth it.

Those who gain their approval from others by bullying, insulting and just general meanness, aren't worth noting. Unfortunately these type of people have always been around, and they will probably continue to be bullies.

You don't deserve to be treated the way the some have treated you. No one deserve to be treated like that. It's really hard to do this (hard for me as well) but try to ignore them. They aren't worth your time and if you can ignore them they will usually move on and find someone else to pick on. That's just what bullies do.


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## kismetie (Oct 17, 2013)

I think you should stop hanging out with these people? And if they are in you work environment or somewhere where you have to be in the same area distance yourself from negative people. I mean I don't really know your situation to give you the best advice, especially since I've never been bullied or harassed in this way. I would also suggest telling these people straight up, "Hey, I don't like it when you compare me to x,y, and z." "It's very hurtful when you say those things about me." OR my personal reaction, "Who the fuck compares people to serial killers like it's the thing to do? Way to be a jackass." Maybe try bringing it up with a supervisor or maybe a person in charge or of high power like a professor in class or something. 

Sorry, if my comment didn't help much.


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## bigstupidgrin (Sep 26, 2014)

You mean Godwin's law? Godwin's law - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

That usually means you're arguing against a popular, (easy to take) stance on the internet, that's being echo chambered out of control. And their hyperbole shows their weakness.

In the end, you control your experience on these sites. The ignore function is a nice, tidy way to stay here, but not put up with their crap.


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## Swede (Apr 2, 2013)

I seriously don't know, since I tend to meet insults with silence and by moving on, but maybe we can brainstorm responses together. My take is that you can approach the bullies in a few ways: a) make them feel shitty, b) ask for clarification until it gets really awkward for them, c) joke it off, or d) ignore.

a) "Wow, that's a pretty serious accusation. Do you compare anyone who disagrees with you with a serial killer? Must be many serial killers out there, huh?"

"If you are trying to hurt my feelings, you are doing a great job. Why would you say something like that? You do realize that bullying and abuse are often behind suicides, school shootings and other tragedies?"

"Yeah and you talk like a bully/abuser, so there is that."

"Hmmm, projection much....?"

b) "Interesting. Why do you think that?" -insert lame explanation- "Still not sure that I understand what you mean. Care to explain a bit better?" -more lame drivel- "Still really don't make any sense. How much do you actually know about serial killer profiling?" Go on and watch them squirm - don't let them off the hook. (Be sure to note the humorous in this situation.)

"That is a great argument. Oh, wait. It's not."

c) "Hmmm, is it a habit of yours to make yourself the next target on a serial killers hit list? Might not be a smart move on your part."

"Pretty sure that if you really though that you'd be sh*tting yourself right about now."

"I'm not a violent person, but sometimes when I meet people like you I'm seriously tempted to reconsider."


Maybe something useful in there? Or maybe this makes it painfully obvious why I prefer d). :laughing:

Anyway, idiots are not worth your time. In a way, they are actually doing you a favor by showing you their level of intelligence. Sort out & move on.

The only person who knows and decides who you are is you. No one else has that power, don't forget that!


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## ForestPaix (Aug 30, 2014)

Who are these people, are they all Willie Moon in disguise? 
Nobody got that reference did they.
Sigh.
I guess the thing is not to let them say stuff like that to you, ask them the specifics of why you appear to be like a serial killer? or ignore them.


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## Volant (Oct 5, 2013)

That _would _hurt, being compared to people whose horrific actions have solidified them in history as socio/psychopathic murderers. I'd probably say something like, "Ok, so, what basis do you have to compare me to these people? Is it because I don't talk much that you automatically assume I'm bad news? Do I dress in a way that brings to your mind some crazed psychopath? Does the way I brush my teeth in the morning threaten you?"

But really, I'd try to find out why exactly people place you in line with Hitler, etc. Then you can mull over whatever reasons they give you, and as long as you're really not out murdering people and performing terrible deeds or exhibiting legitimate signs of psychopathy/sociopathy, you can just chuck their opinions out the window.


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## The Watcher (Mar 28, 2015)

Quiet + "INTJ stare", so i've gotten similar.

The last time someone said "We used to think (my name) might shoot the place up" I responded deadpan "And you don't think that now?". i got some some hard but somewhat nervous laughter as a result. 

Throw it right back. Laugh it off. Don't let it bother you, fuck them.


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## FourLeafCloafer (Aug 5, 2014)

You're still in school right? 

Maybe try to do what I did (because it worked for me -) Keep tabs on who says what when under what circumstances. Write it down. Once you have a week or two of insults (Make sure that you made clear that you don't like being called that, so that they can't claim thinking that it didn't bother you) go to a teacher (Mod on Perc.) that you trust and report it. When they called me a mof (Dutch slur for German, in severity above kraut and just under nazi.) they finally took the action that they hadn't been taking when they were just calling me other things.

Just stay patient, stay polite, and collect proof if you can.


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## Dao (Sep 13, 2013)

I once heard a story about how to take insult that involved the Buddha.



> The Buddha was invited for alms to someone's house. When he arrived the host poured forth a torrent of abuse.
> 
> The Buddha asked the host, 'What do you do when visitors come to your house?'
> 
> ...


There is no need to retaliate. By refusing ownership of the insults and moving on you are politely giving the insults back. I hope that helps.


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## Ninjaws (Jul 10, 2014)

JTHearts said:


> I notice that a lot of people like to compare me to mass killers. It's not only on this website, it's not only online. I've even had people in my real life compare me to mass killers. I've been compared to Hitler (a lot) Elliot Roger (many many times) Adam Lanza (at least twice) Eric Harris and/or Dylan Klebold (at least three times) Joseph Stalin (a couple of times) Heinrich Himmler (at least once) and that generic "guy who shoots up his school/workplace" too many times to count. This really upsets me because I'm not even a violent person and I don't want to hurt anybody. It seems like people just think I'm quiet so I must be evil and plotting to kill them or something. It really makes me sad and I didn't realize it until now but the bullying didn't stop after I left Catholic school, it's continued until this day in the way people have been drawing comparisons between me and other people in negative ways.
> 
> So I need some advice, what should I do to get people to stop? Because apparently just saying "I'm not a violent person" isn't enough for these people, they just continue to be mean and compare me to murderers. And they usually do it because I disagree with them on some issue as well. Is this just a stigma I'll never be able to get past? I really don't know what people see in me that says "oh he's going to be a mass shooter" except that I'm quiet.
> 
> At the very least, does anyone have any ideas on how I could defend myself when people start saying these things?


Why would people on a forum (mostly introverts) call someone who is quiet evil?

I used to be called crazy because people thought I was completely out of control. The truth is, I was picked on so much that sometimes my limit was hit which caused me to snap. This happened only twice in my life though. Funny how people don't realise that it is their own actions that are bringing about this behaviour, and not something that is innately within me.

What I did was play the part, which took the fun out of it for them.
For instance, say they call you Hitler. Stop and look and them, going "Where is your salute? This is no proper welcome for the Führer!"


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## Golden Rose (Jun 5, 2014)

Bullying is disgusting, even more so when mental illness is involved (iirc schizophrenia and depression, right?).

That said, a lot of your posts come across as extremely antagonistic and I'm against babying for the sake of it, if you state something like "all marijuana users should be jailed and executed" or "I want to go to pubs and harass people", of course you're going to receive negative feedback. Most people ignore the "because I want to be included" pattern but that's how humans are wired.

Godwin's law and all kinds of mental unhealthiness assumptions are often thrown around as if being ill is the worst thing a person can be, it pisses me off. However, I think you need to do a lot of introspection and keep up with therapy because the way you're coping with this is extremely provocative and, while no one should set any standards on how to deal with mental illness because it's your own business, I can tell that it affects you a lot and it generates a vicious cycle.

Next time you feel like throwing a sensationalist, judgmental comment, try to stop and reflect on what's happening and what you want out of it. Is it attention? Acceptance? Venting out frustration? I think you'd get better results by just being honest and admitting that you want to do certain things but you can't because you feel left out and rejected. If you want people's validation but you keep on slamming on their values to get sympathy, don't be shocked if they don't react accordingly.

It's not an easy situation to be in but you have to realize that:

1- You don't need people and their approval to try understanding your self worth.
2- Acting in a pointlessly hostile way will keep on running you into that kind of situations.


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

Here's an idea: Why don't you stop giving off mass killer vibe? 

Look,I get it,I'm not even judging you,and you said you have Asperger's which makes some things much more difficult but even here you act not very likable and you describe your behavior in real life as not likable and you are so pissed off at everyone and you don't even try to be accepted in appropriate ways,you can't blame people for not liking you.I get that school was awful and all but now you are an adult,there surely would be nice people if you showed you are trying to be nice too.
I'm not even saying you shouldn't be acting like this,I don't care,if you just want attention then do it x100,but don't expect people to include you as one of them if you aren't like one of them and have nothing to offer to them.


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## prplchknz (Nov 30, 2010)

here's the thing most people have no clue about others, they think they do and. it's so easy for people to dismiss anyone they perceive as different as evil or whatever. because most of those people are lazy and unless you're threatening them personally or have a criminal record or any history of violence then i'd get, but no no no no. people are dumb. its so easy and lazy to assign reasons why people do things, but it doesn't take much more to ask and actually get to know the person. in summary people are insecure judgemental who don't want to admit that the model of people and the world doesn't fit with what they've built up in their head. I have no advice, just that I've been falsley accused many times of being a certain way


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## He's a Superhero! (May 1, 2013)

Most people get bullied at some point in their life, especially online. If they are bullying you via PerC or other websites, report them for it and they should get dealt with - and if you see someone else being bullied also report it, and hopefully others will support you by reporting those bullying you as well. If they treat you like that in real life then don't associate with them. If the person seems like someone you could reason with then just simply state that you find that offencive and want them to stop, and if they respect you and care about your feelings they will stop.


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## EccentricSiren (Sep 3, 2013)

Have you tried straight up telling them you find this offensive? This doesn't really seem like the sort of thing teens or young adults would say because they want to be mean, but more like something they're immature enough to think is funny and don't realize that it's offensive to you. When someone's trying to be funny or cool but isn't necessarily trying to get under your skin, saying something along the lines of "I really don't like it when you compare me to Hitler because I think what he did was horrible and disgusting and when you compare me to him, I feel uncomfortable and don't know how I'm supposed to react to that" should shut them down. If they do it again, just say again, "I told you I don't like that. Please stop." Just saying "I'm not a violent person" might be too vague. The message you want to convey is, "I don't like this. Please. Stop. NOW." If they're doing it because they're immature and think it's funny, they need it spelled out for them.
If they're doing it because they're honestly trying to piss you off, I'm not really sure what would shut them down.


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## aendern (Dec 28, 2013)

Living dead said:


> Here's an idea: Why don't you stop giving off mass killer vibe?


Could not agree more.


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## Roland Khan (May 10, 2009)

All I know from brief experience with you on here is that generally you mean well, but you can go off and say a lot of over generalizing and hateful things toward groups of people or people who do things that you deem "inappropriate" and go along and say things like how they should all be locked up. 

You cry a lot of victim here as well, then turn around and lash out on groups who view/live differently than you would like to. Would help if you started to look at and treat other people as if they're people, fellow human beings, with the same mental capacity as everybody else, and that we're not all pawns in your gods playground bound to live under his (particular church's) authority...for starters anyway. You seem to have a lot of anger bottled up, I'm not claiming to know where it all stems from, you yourself have mentioned that some of it may come from your very religious parents or upbringing and have also stated how they've used a lot of that religious teaching to scare and torment you and I think a lot of that's carried over and you yourself now exhibit a lot of these same tendencies of non-acceptance toward _others_.

I don't know all of it of course and not about to start speculating on it, but that's just what I've gotten out of it from the few threads/posts of yours that I've seen. 

About the whole comparing you to serial killers thing, that just seems absurd and those who are doing that to you may just be using hyperbole to make a point in how you are behaving around them...again I don't know full details of these specific circumstances, but that's the only observation I'm able to make at this point.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

JTHearts said:


> I notice that a lot of people like to compare me to mass killers. It's not only on this website, it's not only online. I've even had people in my real life compare me to mass killers. I've been compared to Hitler (a lot) Elliot Roger (many many times) Adam Lanza (at least twice) Eric Harris and/or Dylan Klebold (at least three times) Joseph Stalin (a couple of times) Heinrich Himmler (at least once) and that generic "guy who shoots up his school/workplace" too many times to count. This really upsets me because I'm not even a violent person and I don't want to hurt anybody. It seems like people just think I'm quiet so I must be evil and plotting to kill them or something. It really makes me sad and I didn't realize it until now but the bullying didn't stop after I left Catholic school, it's continued until this day in the way people have been drawing comparisons between me and other people in negative ways.
> 
> So I need some advice, what should I do to get people to stop? Because apparently just saying "I'm not a violent person" isn't enough for these people, they just continue to be mean and compare me to murderers. And they usually do it because I disagree with them on some issue as well. Is this just a stigma I'll never be able to get past? I really don't know what people see in me that says "oh he's going to be a mass shooter" except that I'm quiet.
> 
> At the very least, does anyone have any ideas on how I could defend myself when people start saying these things?


I would use it to my advantage and be like "ok, so you think I'm a serial killer. do you really want to piss off a serial killer?"

seriously though, the only potential causes here are
1) they realize it's bothering you and are trying to troll you
2) they are insecure pussies


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## Red Panda (Aug 18, 2010)

If so many different people in different settings say that to you, then maybe you have to assess your behavior to see if there's merit in what they are saying. Not that you are a killer, but maybe you say and do things that are very inappropriate or, if I remember from some of your posts, hateful and mean-spirited.


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## Hollow Man (Aug 12, 2011)

A very good therapy topic if you go to a therapist. This one could make real progress in your life because it'd help you learn how to connect with people better. It'd examine some of the behaviors and traits you have that aren't constructive with other people. 

I understand what you're going through, and I've seen it a bit with my own eyes. Maybe you do exhibit some traits of a serial killer, but I certainly don't think it's right to point it out in your face like a lot of people do. Especially with the your openness of your limitations to the forum. Sometimes it's the only thing certain posters point out to you, and that's like being cut. Someone pointing out exactly what you don't want to be and what you hate as who you are.


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## Pressed Flowers (Oct 8, 2014)

It's kind of funny, or ironic I guess, because people sort of do the same thing with me. I'm a happy little bunny, and whenever the topic turns to "who do you think would come to school with a gun and try to shoot everyone" there is always that _oh so original _ person who goes, "Oh, Alittlebear would do that! She seems so innocent and nice, but I'll bet she has a lot of hatred bottled up inside..." For me, this doesn't bother me. It's amusing. Especially since they always think they're the first person to ever had that "witty" thought. And, granted, it's different from your situation because people tell me that to be funny because I am seemingly the least likely person to shoot up a school, or own a gun, or do anything violent... but. 

That said, 

I do agree this would be a good thing to discuss with your counselor. From what you say of your talks with your therapist, she/he doesn't sound very helpful? Make sure you make it a point to discuss with your metal health team what you need to, and if your current team isn't doing that for you, find a new one. I had a counselor for a year and a half who did absolutely _nothing_ for me but push her agenda on me, and it didn't help at all. This year I was fortunate enough to find a counselor who actually listens to me and helps me with what's relevant to me, and it's made a world of difference. I am recovering so much, with every session. If you aren't seeing that difference, honestly something should change. 

Your counselor will be able to help you with a lot of these things you distressfully post about here, because he/she is a professional who knows your situation and who will be able to help you significantly with the problems you are experiencing. The fact is, people can be cruel, people can be impatient, and people can be rude. When you talk about your problems on the Internet, especially very openly as you do, it opens you up for people to hurt you. Discussing these things privately with your mental health team could help you significantly. 

Also, you're not a serial killer. You're... well, you're you. And you know who you are. They're the ignorant and stupid and cruel ones for being so blind to the wonders of who you are. Don't let yourself be blinded by their hatred as well. You're you, you're good, you know you're a non violent person and that you are undeserving of these accusations. It's them who are showing antagonism, not you, and just make sure you remember that. They're the ones deserving of folly for their hatred. Not you. I know it's hard to even consider that, but try to think of it at least briefly the next time you're confronted by this spiteful ignorance.


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## jamaix (Sep 20, 2013)

This post is directed more towards those who might think they are helping, by saying things the OP described.

I don't know all of the experiences of the OP, but I can related to some of what he says because I know someone who I think may have experienced similar things. 

Although, not all handle these types of things in the same manner. Perhaps that has something to do with different personalities, and how they handle adversity. Not politically correct to say, but also differences in how many men vs women handle depression and mental illness. I have observed that women often retreat, and men lash out. Not all but many, and there are of course some men who retreat and some women who lash out.

It is a cycle that can usually be traced back to trigger events that just kept snow balling. We can choose to pile on, to ignore, or to dig deeper. I admit that digging deeper is hard when it comes to people you really don't know on the internet and is limited by what they choose to reveal. But many times people will open up to you if you show an interest. 

You are taking a risk when you reach out to the angry hurting person, because they may reject you, they may tell you to mind your own business, they may have serious problems that go far beyond anything you can comprehend. The one I always fear is that I might make things worse. However, what if you are the only one who reaches out to them? What if you are the only one that tells them that even when they lash out at you, that you will be there for them? I am not talking about taking physical abuse, but I am talking about trying to see through their pain and anger. Trying to see that maybe they need help finding the path to change. Maybe you can be a part of that change for them? Try to see beyond the anger and see the person behind it that is hurting and desperately wants to stop, but can't seem to find their way out of it. Yes, they must want to find that path and want to change, but it is sometimes a slow journey and takes patience to help them get there.

If you've made it this far and can endure a little more, I'll share a story about a real person.

The person I'm speaking of has two parents who did love them, but weren't always the best at parenting. One of the parents had a sibling who it was discovered was schizophrenic. This terrified the other parent and they already looked down on their spouses family somewhat anyway. This parent became fearful and obsessed with the thought that one of their children might end up schizophrenic as well. Especially since they discovered that it often shows up in families. 

This parent wanted to do all that they could to make sure none of their children ended up schizophrenic. This is an uninformed idea, if they were, there really wouldn't be anything you could do to stop it. This parent talked negatively about the schizophrenic relative *regularly,* warning the kids not to have much to do with them. (very sad approach) So the message was very much so pounded into the kids head that this was a very bad thing and the people who had it were bad. You need to avoid them and stay away from them. I will continue with my story, but as I type this I wonder how many view mental illness in this manner? How many would rather avoid it than deal with it? Are the mentally ill just the scary people who you should avoid lest you become like them? Of course not, but this type of thinking is out there.

I'll continue with my story....
The parent became convinced that one of their children might be exhibiting signs of schizophrenia. The child was only about 9 years old at the time. The child was head strong, opinionated, sometimes defiant and questioned things. Surely these must be signs of schizophrenia, and this must be driven out. Or so the thinking went. The parent then pointed out at every opportunity that this child's thinking was similar to the schizophrenic relative. They would say things like, now you sound like so and so, or so and so probably said things like that as well. The other siblings picked up on this as well. Although they loved their sibling, anytime something didn't go their way they would resort to telling the other sibling they were crazy. Where did they learn this? From the parent.

The child who was being told constantly that they sounded like the despised schizophrenic relative began to question them self. Is there something wrong with me? Everyone thinks I am crazy? Anger set in and they began to lash out, even though they worried that others might be right. They often exhibited, in their mind, what they thought a mentally unstable person would do. (in other words they fulfilled what they thought the expectation was) Everyone thought this of them anyway. Now, logic would tell you that you should try to prove them wrong, but for some reason it doesn't always work this way when you are young. 

When those who should love and care for you the most, already think badly of you, it can be hard not to just fulfill what they expect anyway. Think of the parent who makes constant jabs at their kid about what a loser they are. What usually happens? Many parents tell their kids things like this, thinking it will inspire them to prove they are wrong, but that is not what usually happens. *What often happens is the kids begin to believe it. Do you see where I'm heading with this?

*It is important to note that some parents who parent in this manner, often do so thinking it will inspire the kids to do better, to prove them wrong, but it doesn't usually work out that way. The kids often begin to believe it is true of them. This is not suddenly outgrown when you reach adulthood. These types of things can take years to overcome. There must be a desire to overcome it, but also people who are patient and loving(even when the person is unlovable) can do a great deal towards healing this.

I'm not saying the OP's parents were anything like the parent I mentioned because I don't know them, and it would be unfair for me to pass that type of judgement on someone I don't know. However, each one of us can be like that parent that just reinforces a negative self image. *Ask yourself, before telling someone that they sound like a serial killer or a psychopath, how is this going to help them? Does this just reinforce a negative idea that others may have already planted in their head?



*_That's all I'm going to say for now, but I will say that the person I mentioned who had a parent who reinforced the idea that they were schizophrenic, did eventually realize that they were not schizophrenic. They realized eventually how negative and destructive it was to deal with someone in the manner they were dealt with. *BUT* it took them many many years to do so and to realize that they were okay. one more thing....this person, as an adult, has tremendous regret that they did not understand more about schizophrenia. Wishes they had the opportunity to be the kind of support this schizophrenic relative needed. Sadly they have passed on._


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## WindowLicker (Aug 3, 2010)

Ok so I'm going to try and analyze this from an impartial place so that I can tell you in a straightforward way why people are doing this. I actually haven't seen any of your posts so I'm going to read some before I form an opinion. *checking*

So the question is why are you being bullied and being compared to these mass killers? I want to draw some parallels as to why someone would see a similarity first as you said you want to understand.
Ok so a mass killer is usually a sociopath, and a sociopath has high testosterone and low amounts of seretonin. This can actually be detected in a brain scan. Its a proven fact, their brains are shaped different. Crazy right? A normal brain with low seretonin causes depression, but when combined with high levels of testosterone it can create an innability to feel empathy making that person become emotionally insensitive. Men naturally have testosterone, and it just so happens that when they become depressed they are lacking seretonin. This is really dangerous because it can turn that guy who was otherwise open minded and empathetic into an insensitive person. A really deranged sociopath will take that lack of empathy and snap. Both are experiencing similar brain chemicals.
It doesn't mean you have the deformed mis-shapen brain. You could have unbalanced brain chemicals because of not being accepted for who you are. I can see how that can lead to a lot of self-pity. There are definitely healthy ways of handling low self esteem that can make you happier. 

The problem is people don't understand that there are men with testosterone who struggle with depression and aren't violent. (I think you're depressed BTW)
We naturally associate these behaviors because people try so hard to understand WHY someone would commit mass murder and then we observe their personality traits to find people like that as a self-preseravation measure. They see some and thats the conclusion they jump to. You are the object so you only understand how bad it makes you feel. 


Ok so I said there were signs people associate with these mass killers so here are yours that people see as red flags: 
- Self pity
- Angry and reactive, not sad, about misfortune (no friends) expressing Fe in unhealthy way
- You REALLY like the heavy hand of justice
- No mercy kind of mentality
- Make definitive statements without being at least 10% open minded, and you could improve on this a bit. 
- Demonize others or concepts 
- Emotionally ask a lot from people, quick to anger when you don't get it. 


Alright so there it is. Sorry its so long, but I hope it helps.


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## Hollow Man (Aug 12, 2011)

Just wanted to add that I think you have potential to be a loving person and to be socially connected. I see it even in your username. lol.


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

Thanks everyone, I just don't know what to do  I talked to my therapist about it today and he says I'm just having cognitive distortions


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## Lady Isla (Feb 20, 2015)

You have Asperger's? It may be partly from a misunderstanding of your condition on the part of others. Educate them if you care enough to. I tend to sympathize with the underdog, so I don't like stories like this, because they should know better, should know to keep quiet. I highly doubt it's in your head. People can be very rude and petty. Maybe get your therapist to help you identify what aspects of your personality are giving this incorrect vibe to some people and try to work on changing the way you are perceived. It's a shame we have to adapt for others, especially when we're not even doing anything wrong, but such is life sometimes. You know you're not violent and that's what matters most.


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## WindowLicker (Aug 3, 2010)

JTHearts said:


> Thanks everyone, I just don't know what to do  I talked to my therapist about it today and he says I'm just having cognitive distortions


You don't know what to do about how you feel about it or how to get other people to perceive you the way you want them to? Elaborate on this please. Perhaps this is the most meaningful answer you can discover.


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

WindowLicker said:


> You don't know what to do about how you feel about it or how to get other people to perceive you the way you want them to? Elaborate on this please. Perhaps this is the most meaningful answer you can discover.


Both. I feel like a freak and I also don't want people to think of me that way, but I never seem to be able to do anything to make them think differently.


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## Biracial (Sep 8, 2010)

JTHearts said:


> I notice that a lot of people like to compare me to mass killers. It's not only on this website, it's not only online. I've even had people in my real life compare me to mass killers. I've been compared to Hitler (a lot) Elliot Roger (many many times) Adam Lanza (at least twice) Eric Harris and/or Dylan Klebold (at least three times) Joseph Stalin (a couple of times) Heinrich Himmler (at least once) and that generic "guy who shoots up his school/workplace" too many times to count. This really upsets me because I'm not even a violent person and I don't want to hurt anybody. It seems like people just think I'm quiet so I must be evil and plotting to kill them or something. It really makes me sad and I didn't realize it until now but the bullying didn't stop after I left Catholic school, it's continued until this day in the way people have been drawing comparisons between me and other people in negative ways.
> 
> So I need some advice, what should I do to get people to stop? Because apparently just saying "I'm not a violent person" isn't enough for these people, they just continue to be mean and compare me to murderers. And they usually do it because I disagree with them on some issue as well. Is this just a stigma I'll never be able to get past? I really don't know what people see in me that says "oh he's going to be a mass shooter" except that I'm quiet.
> 
> At the very least, does anyone have any ideas on how I could defend myself when people start saying these things?


I'm a woman and I've been called a serial killer many times including in the workplace. I think people associate distrust, and introversion with being a sociopath or a psychopath. I love deeply, but selectively and enjoy cute cuddly creatures, but no muthafucka outside of my family would know that about me. Why would they? It is possible to change people's minds by opening up and earning their trust, if they are worth it and not all people are. It's really the only method I've found to move forward. At some point, I decide whether or not I want to attract or repel folks. 
I see a pattern in the people you've been compared to and there is nothing wrong with honestly examining yourself. You really can't get mad at people for decloaking or pulling the card on someone who lives on the darkside. Anyway, some of the other replies suggested using humor as a strategy and they are quite funny! Use 'em!


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## WindowLicker (Aug 3, 2010)

JTHearts said:


> Both. I feel like a freak and I also don't want people to think of me that way, but I never seem to be able to do anything to make them think differently.


What are some things you haven't tried yet that influence the way others think about you? Try to think of it from another angle.


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## Pressed Flowers (Oct 8, 2014)

I really think it starts from the core. You're not a freak. You're a human being, a person who is wonderful and beautiful and amazing regardless of if other people recognize it or not. I know this is especially hard for FJs to realize - I know I have a hard time separating who I am from who society thinks I am - but I think this homegrown confidence is one of the first real steps one can take to appearing acceptable to society as we want to be.


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

WindowLicker said:


> What are some things you haven't tried yet that influence the way others think about you? Try to think of it from another angle.


How am I supposed to know if they'll influence the way others think about me if I haven't tried them yet? Sorry that kind of confused me


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## AmandaLee (Aug 13, 2014)

JTHearts said:


> How am I supposed to know if they'll influence the way others think about me if I haven't tried them yet? Sorry that kind of confused me


You can influence how others perceive you by presenting differently. It's not rocket science, obviously. The common denominator is _you_. Changing others isn't going to work, that's a lost cause. Try to do some introspection. If people on multiple occasions have associated you with mass shooters, there _has_ to be something about your behavior that gives off that vibe. You really have no idea whatsoever what that could be?


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## Arzazar Szubrasznikarazar (Apr 9, 2015)

JTHearts said:


> I notice that a lot of people like to compare me to mass killers. It's not only on this website, it's not only online. I've even had people in my real life compare me to mass killers. I've been compared to Hitler (a lot) Elliot Roger (many many times) Adam Lanza (at least twice) Eric Harris and/or Dylan Klebold (at least three times) Joseph Stalin (a couple of times) Heinrich Himmler (at least once) and that generic "guy who shoots up his school/workplace" too many times to count. This really upsets me because I'm not even a violent person and I don't want to hurt anybody. It seems like people just think I'm quiet so I must be evil and plotting to kill them or something. It really makes me sad and I didn't realize it until now but the bullying didn't stop after I left Catholic school, it's continued until this day in the way people have been drawing comparisons between me and other people in negative ways.
> 
> So I need some advice, what should I do to get people to stop? Because apparently just saying "I'm not a violent person" isn't enough for these people, they just continue to be mean and compare me to murderers. And they usually do it because I disagree with them on some issue as well. Is this just a stigma I'll never be able to get past? I really don't know what people see in me that says "oh he's going to be a mass shooter" except that I'm quiet.
> 
> At the very least, does anyone have any ideas on how I could defend myself when people start saying these things?


Do they do anything else to you? Maybe if not, their train of thought is something like: Haha. This person looks like a good target for bullying. But I remember how guys like him shoot up some places when bullied. Maybe I'll better not do anything nasty to him.


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## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

AmandaLee said:


> You can influence how others perceive you by presenting differently. It's not rocket science, obviously. The common denominator is _you_. Changing others isn't going to work, that's a lost cause. Try to do some introspection. If people on multiple occasions have associated you with mass shooters, there _has_ to be something about your behavior that gives off that vibe. You really have no idea whatsoever what that could be?


Other than that I'm shy, no, I have no idea. I feel like people also like defending the people who are bullying me though, saying basically "well it's YOUR fault that you seem like a mass shooter and they have every right to be mean to you about it"


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## Arzazar Szubrasznikarazar (Apr 9, 2015)

JTHearts said:


> Other than that I'm shy, no, I have no idea. I feel like people also like defending the people who are bullying me though, saying basically "well it's YOUR fault that you seem like a mass shooter and they have every right to be mean to you about it"


Do they do anything to you besides comparing you to mass killers?


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## Darkbloom (Aug 11, 2013)

JTHearts said:


> Other than that I'm shy, no, I have no idea. I feel like people also like defending the people who are bullying me though, saying basically "well it's YOUR fault that you seem like a mass shooter and they have every right to be mean to you about it"


Look,you are acting all right here right now,but those things from some of your other threads,if just parts of it show irl too...
Lol,I don't wanna say anything but I think everyone gets what I mean.


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## AmandaLee (Aug 13, 2014)

JTHearts said:


> Other than that I'm shy, no, I have no idea. I feel like people also like defending the people who are bullying me though, saying basically "well it's YOUR fault that you seem like a mass shooter and they have every right to be mean to you about it"


I'm not defending them. I only said that the reason for why they make these comparisons is likely to be found in you. Besides being shy, you have absolutely no idea? 

From what I've seen of your posts here on PerC, you often resort to behavior which, in my opinion, is quite hostile, belligerent, and judgmental. "Marijuana users should be round up and publically executed", "I don't like this thing, so everyone who does is bad", "These statistics are not valid because I don't agree" etc. 

You say it happens all the time. If multiple people make the same connection, there is usually some legitimacy to it. I say this because saying what you _want_ to hear isn't necessarily what you _need_ to hear. Look within and try to re-evaluate your behavior. The solution to this problem can only be found within you. The sooner you accept that the sooner you can start working on it. There can be no action without awareness, first.


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## Macrosapien (Apr 4, 2010)

Dao said:


> I once heard a story about how to take insult that involved the Buddha.
> 
> 
> 
> There is no need to retaliate. By refusing ownership of the insults and moving on you are politely giving the insults back. I hope that helps.



sounds awfully similar to this,



> One day Buddha was walking through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him. "You have no right teaching others," he shouted. "You are as stupid as everyone else. You are nothing but a fake."Buddha was not upset by these insults. Instead he asked the young man "Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone, and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?"
> The man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, "It would belong to me, because I bought the gift."
> The Buddha smiled and said, "That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done si hurt yourself.
> "If you want to stop hurting yourself, you must get rid of your anger and become loving instead. When you hate others, you yourself become unhappy. But when you love others, everyone is happy."
> ...


And this one, that I just found upon a search,



> *There once lived a great warrior. Though quite old, he still was able to defeat any challenger. His reputation extended far and wide throughout the land and many students gathered to study under him.One day an infamous young warrior arrived at the village. He was determined to be the first man to defeat the great master. Along with his strength, he had an uncanny ability to spot and exploit any weakness in an opponent. He would wait for his opponent to make the first move, thus revealing a weakness, and then would strike with merciless force and lightning speed. No one had ever lasted with him in a match beyond the first move.
> Much against the advice of his concerned students, the old master gladly accepted the young warrior's challenge. As the two squared off for battle, the young warrior began to hurl insults at the old master. He threw dirt and spit in his face. For hours he verbally assaulted him with every curse and insult known to mankind. But the old warrior merely stood there motionless and calm. Finally, the young warrior exhausted himself. Knowing he was defeated, he left feeling shamed.
> Somewhat disappointed that he did not fight the insolent youth, the students gathered around the old master and questioned him. "How could you endure such an indignity? How did you drive him away?"
> **"If someone comes to give you a gift and you do not receive it," the master replied, "to whom does the gift belong?"
> *


I think I like this one more than the one above that I quoted...

The one you quoted though, maybe more genuine, as it is less interpolated, and usually, in the study of textual criticism, usually the one less interpolated is the one that is closer to the source material.


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