# Quitting my job as a professional armpit sniffer



## StinkyBambi (Jul 12, 2018)

:rolleye:


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## The red spirit (Sep 29, 2015)

I expected some clickbait here, but that's just fucked up


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## StinkyBambi (Jul 12, 2018)

The red spirit said:


> I expected some clickbait here, but that's just fucked up


sorry what?how :blue::blue::blue::blue::crushed::crushed::crushed::crushed::crushed::cold::frown::frown::frown::dejection::dejection:


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## The red spirit (Sep 29, 2015)

StinkyBambi said:


> sorry what?how :blue::blue::blue::blue::crushed::crushed::crushed::crushed::crushed::cold::frown::frown::frown::dejection::dejection:


What you had to do


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## Aridela (Mar 14, 2015)

@StinkyBambi Surely you're joking, right?


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## StinkyBambi (Jul 12, 2018)

Aridela said:


> @StinkyBambi Surely you're joking, right?


huh? no why would i be joking? :nonchalance::nonchalance::nonchalance::frown-new::frown-new:


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## Aridela (Mar 14, 2015)

StinkyBambi said:


> huh? no why would i be joking? :nonchalance::nonchalance::nonchalance::frown-new::frown-new:


I'm sorry it just struck me as a tad odd to be a real life occupation.


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## StinkyBambi (Jul 12, 2018)

Aridela said:


> I'm sorry it just struck me as a tad odd to be a real life occupation.


oh no its a real occupation i was hired by lynx deodrant testing offices, it was my job to check quality of deodrant


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## Aridela (Mar 14, 2015)

StinkyBambi said:


> oh no its a real occupation i was hired by lynx deodrant testing offices, it was my job to check quality of deodrant


You know you could write a book about it. 

I would be willing to buy it.


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## StinkyBambi (Jul 12, 2018)

Aridela said:


> You know you could write a book about it.
> 
> I would be willing to buy it.


really? oh yeh thats not a bad idea, i do have some funny stories :smilee::nevreness::apple::biggrin:


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## Aridela (Mar 14, 2015)

StinkyBambi said:


> really? oh yeh thats not a bad idea, i do have some funny stories :smilee::nevreness::apple::biggrin:


Care to share?


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## StinkyBambi (Jul 12, 2018)

Aridela said:


> Care to share?


a time i will never forget is when the testing room started overheating and turned into a sauna. The toilets were bubbling and there was steam coming off the walls We were sweating so profusely and wondered how much more heat we could stand when one gentleman collapsed and another was getting heat induced cramps so we were all moved to another testing room.


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## Schizoid (Jan 31, 2015)

StinkyBambi said:


> After five long years of standing around in hot rooms smelling the armpits of naked middle aged subjects for various established deodorant companies, I have finally reached breaking point. I have decided to quit my job and work for the local biscuit factory who are in need of a skilled professional to check the smell and taste of the custard creams. Although I would much rather be tasting bourbons or pink wafers, I think this job would be considerably better than sniffing up to 120 armpits an hour, 9 AM - 5 PM, which is 7 hours (after deducting lunch hour during which I mentally prepare for the next half of the day listening to the rocky theme tune and drinking copious amounts of tea), sniffing around 840 armpits a day. I think I have made the right decision handing in my resignation although I will greatly miss my fellow staff members, especially dear old Sharon who now suffers from nasal congestion. I very much look forward to my new job at the biscuit factory and will be glad to see the back of the old deodorant company's test offices, I just don't think I'll ever forget that potent waft of dodgy antiperspirant


Are new jobs always better than old jobs? I don't know, I've learnt that all jobs are the same. Having to deal with sucky people everywhere and having to learn how to put up with their bullshit. 

I don't look forward to any jobs, because I expect my new job to suck as equally as my old job. Different people, different faces, but having to deal with the same ol' bullshit. 

If I ever quit a job, it's because I'm burnout from working and I needed a sabbatical and my job didn't offer the sabbatical I'm looking for, and not because I'm looking for a greener pastures somewhere else.


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## StinkyBambi (Jul 12, 2018)

Schizoid said:


> Are new jobs always better than old jobs? I don't know, I've learnt that all jobs are the same. Having to deal with sucky people everywhere and having to learn how to put up with their bullshit.
> 
> I don't look forward to any jobs, because I expect my new job to suck as equally as my old job. Different people, different faces, but having to deal with the same ol' bullshit.
> 
> If I ever quit a job, it's because I'm burnout from working and I needed a sabbatical and my job didn't offer the sabbatical I'm looking for, and not because I'm looking for a greener pastures somewhere else.


no not all jobs are the same, some offer company bonuses and holidays, and employees differ from place to place, it helps if you are friendly and smiley to everyone but yeh you always get the odd one, no one likes working really but you just have to pull your socks up and get on with it, its just the way it is really, some places cant afford to give you a holiday unfortunately you'll have to learn to cope with that


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## Aridela (Mar 14, 2015)

StinkyBambi said:


> a time i will never forget is when the testing room started overheating and turned into a sauna. The toilets were bubbling and there was steam coming off the walls We were sweating so profusely and wondered how much more heat we could stand when one gentleman collapsed and another was getting heat induced cramps so we were all moved to another testing room.


Oh wow, that sounds uncomfortable to say the least. 

What about health regulations? Do you have to sing agreements saying you understand the medical risks and what not?


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## StinkyBambi (Jul 12, 2018)

Aridela said:


> Oh wow, that sounds uncomfortable to say the least.
> 
> What about health regulations? Do you have to sing agreements saying you understand the medical risks and what not?


yes there was a whole booklet of health and safety regulations i signed at the start of the job i really just flicked through it


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## ReliK (Feb 24, 2019)

It's rude to ask people what they make BUT, I've just got to know the range of financial compensation for armpit sniffers.


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## StinkyBambi (Jul 12, 2018)

ultracrepidarian said:


> It's rude to ask people what they make BUT, I've just got to know the range of financial compensation for armpit sniffers.


yeah it's no problem, I'd make about £20,000 a year, the senior armpit sniffers who manage the team can earn up to £50,000


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## Bobovich Stropski (Jul 23, 2019)

are you venturing to ass crack sniffing instead?


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## Pippi (Dec 24, 2016)

And what of the armpit models?


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## StinkyBambi (Jul 12, 2018)

Pippi said:


> And what of the armpit models?


some of the armpit models were so handsome, i sniffed them lots


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## L P (May 30, 2017)

This thread is amazing.


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## Penny (Mar 24, 2016)

StinkyBambi said:


> yeah it's no problem, I'd make about £20,000 a year, the senior armpit sniffers who manage the team can earn up to £50,000


lol i love sniffing armpits. how do i get into it?


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## StinkyBambi (Jul 12, 2018)

Penny said:


> lol i love sniffing armpits. how do i get into it?


you could email Lynx or Dove or another deodrant company


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## Penny (Mar 24, 2016)

StinkyBambi said:


> you could email Lynx or Dove or another deodrant company


cool. thanks


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## BigApplePi (Dec 1, 2011)

A couple questions:

How does one clear the olfactory sense going from pit to pit? 

Is there such a thing as sanitizing the armpit so thoroughly that deodorant is not needed? Is deodorant needed during consistently cold weather?


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## Lucan1010 (Jul 23, 2018)

@StinkyBambi Well, that explains at least half your username


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## Doccium (May 29, 2016)

Legit thought this was a joke thread. Pleasantly surprised. 

But can you also apply for the other side?


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## DawnUnder (Aug 11, 2019)

This sounds about right up my alley


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## Notus Asphodelus (Jan 20, 2015)

I wouldn't mind getting that amount of cash for sniffing armpits.. I am done with sniffing sawdust.


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## Anunnaki Spirit (Mar 23, 2018)

Notus Asphodelus said:


> I wouldn't mind getting that amount of cash for sniffing armpits.. I am done with sniffing sawdust.


My job is always one chemical spill away from having to evacuate and call in hazmat to clean up, a month ago or so we had a propane tank crack filling half the building while we were in another room working for six hours before it was noticed. :shocked:


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## Notus Asphodelus (Jan 20, 2015)

The Edwardian Spirit said:


> My job is always one chemical spill away from having to evacuate and call in hazmat to clean up, a month ago or so we had a propane tank crack filling half the building while we were in another room working for six hours before it was noticed. :shocked:


Whoah.. that's really a hazard. My working place has a smoking area at the balcony. That would have definitely burned the building down if there's a propane leakage nearby.


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