# INFP vs INFJ



## Psilo (Apr 29, 2009)

I found this thread over at TypeC (which was found at an INFJ forum)

INFPs focus on values.
INFJs value their focus.

INFPs invoke their feelings.
INFJs feel their invocations.

INFPs use their intuition to validate their feelings.
INFJs use their feelings to validate their intuitions.

INFPs react with strong emotions.
INFJs have strong reactions to emotions.

INFPs know what it could be.
INFJs know what it couldn’t be.

INFPs use emotional currency.
INFJs use their emotions currently.

INFPs don’t know when to quit, and tend to jump out.
INFJs don’t know where to start, and tend to jump in. 

INFPs strive to nurture those around them.
INFJs nurture those around them to strive.

INFPs know where it begins.
INFJs know where it ends.

INFPs are highly aware of their feelings.
INFJs feel they are highly aware.

INFPs figure it out by thinking about it too much.
INFJs figure it out by not thinking about it at all.

INFPs have trouble expressing their feelings, but not showing their emotions.
INFJs have trouble showing their emotions, but not expressing their feelings.

INFPs tell about something someone they know did.
INFJs tell someone about something they know they did.

INFPs come to feel your emotions with you.
INFJs feel the emotions coming from you.

INFPs open up to harmony.
INFJs need harmony to open up.

I don't think I agree with it entirely, but I liked it nonetheless. Thought I'd share.


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## Inner Cosmos (Oct 22, 2008)

Wow, I really like it. Since I'm somewhat of an INXX I had a mixed result of identifying with infp or infj, and a few I identified with both. That being said this helped me a lot to sort out the differences between the two. Thanks!

I'll have to reflect deeply on the suggestions it makes about the difference between the two though. I was suprised at how (to me) different or contrasting the two types could be on things.:laughing: I'm glad too because before it was like a sticker where you couldn't find and edge anywhere to peel it off and thus see what's underneath/inside. Now I think I found a loose edge to pick at.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

It's kind of clever, but I can only verify the INFP side of it. I'm not an INFJ.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thehigher (Apr 20, 2009)

I think that matches up well but some of those just looks....like they are trying to hard or something.


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## HollyGolightly (Aug 8, 2009)

INFPs are lovely  
If it was an actual case of INFP vs INFJ, INFP wins hands down. Such lovely people


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## kdm1984 (Jul 8, 2009)

Psilo said:


> INFPs have trouble expressing their feelings, but not showing their emotions.
> INFJs have trouble showing their emotions, but not expressing their feelings.


I think this one is the best stated. I have two INFPs in my family, and this difference is the one most consistently manifested.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

thehigher said:


> I think that matches up well but some of those just looks....like they are trying to hard or something.


I never liked that list. A lot of it feels contrived and like it's trying more to be clever, not accurate.


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## addle1618 (Oct 31, 2008)

INFPs have trouble expressing their feelings, but not showing their emotions.
INFJs have trouble showing their emotions, but not expressing their feelings.

What does that even mean!? :laughing:


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## HollyGolightly (Aug 8, 2009)

addle1618 said:


> INFPs have trouble expressing their feelings, but not showing their emotions.
> INFJs have trouble showing their emotions, but not expressing their feelings.
> 
> What does that even mean!? :laughing:


LOL 
I think it means this: (bear with me I'm terrible at explaining).
As an INFJ I have trouble expressing my emotions. I keep them hidden most of the time because I fear rejection e.g. I won't hug someone no matter how much a I love them. But I have no trouble expressing my feelings about something e.g. if I think something is wrong I will speak up. I'm not an INFP but I'm guessing they are better at expression emotion but probably not how they feel as most INFPs I know don't want to displease or cause conflict.

Well that's what I got from it anyway :blushed:


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

HollyGolightly said:


> LOL
> I think it means this: (bear with me I'm terrible at explaining).
> As an INFJ I have trouble expressing my emotions. I keep them hidden most of the time because I fear rejection e.g. I won't hug someone no matter how much a I love them. But I have no trouble expressing my feelings about something e.g. if I think something is wrong I will speak up. I'm not an INFP but I'm guessing they are better at expression emotion but probably not how they feel as most INFPs I know don't want to displease or cause conflict.
> 
> Well that's what I got from it anyway :blushed:


Really? I would've swapped this then. I'm like you and I'm an INFP. I don't show emotion much, but I usually have no problem expressing my opinions.


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## Irulan (Aug 14, 2009)

Psilo said:


> INFPs figure it out by thinking about it too much.
> INFJs figure it out by not thinking about it at all.
> 
> INFPs have trouble expressing their feelings, but not showing their emotions.
> ...


I don't know much about how INFPs think, but those three felt the most accurate as an INFJ. 

The first one is because it's when I'm not aware that I am subconsciously analyzing a person that I suddenly notice something unnoticeable about them. It is when I am aware of my state of mind that I become confused and quite aloof.

I think we all understood the second one differently. I understood it to mean that I have a hard time showing how I feel, but I can easily talk about it. I do that a lot. It makes people think that things aren't really quite as big a deal to me as I say and that I'm just being dramatic, when inside I feel things more intensely than they can imagine.

I doubt that most INFJs will agree as much with the last one. I think that most INFJs will relate just as much to the INFP side as they do to the INFJ side. I am an introvert to the extreme, and to feel emotions with another human being means to be open with them. I still haven't achieved that ability. I can feel emotions coming from others though, for sure. And I'm sure that part is true for most INFJs.


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## shygirl (Jul 31, 2009)

That's really interesting. I feel that based on this, I am more of an INFJ than an INFP, but I know for a fact I am an INFP. I think to keep the theme up of one type does this, so let's flip it so we can identify with the other type is where a lot of inaccuracy comes in. Very interesting and cute thread, however.


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## faeriegal713 (Sep 29, 2009)

addle1618 said:


> INFPs have trouble expressing their feelings, but not showing their emotions.
> INFJs have trouble showing their emotions, but not expressing their feelings.
> 
> What does that even mean!? :laughing:


The way I understood it was that if you had two friends, one and INFP, one an INFJ and they were feeling the exact same thing - let's say extreme gratitude - you would have two very different ways to figure this out. 

You would notice something was immediately different about your INFP friend, s/he would be displaying for all the world to see that something great and wonderful had happened. If you asked him/her about it s/he could tell you what happened but would have an extreme difficulty finding the words to convey just how special and important it was to him/her. The best way to describe what would be going on in his/her mind is all these words and pictures and emotions tumbling over themselves trying to get through some sort of gate, but none getting through because there's no order. Even if one or two things manage to squeeze through, there's no context with which to make it understandable. 

Your INFJ friend on the other hand would appear more or less the same to you, maybe just a smile or a slight twinkle in his/her eyes to cue you in that there's something going on there. When you asked about his/her day, the words would spill out and flow and probably be really excited, but still comprehensible. S/he could tell you the story and why s/he feels so great and wonderful because of it. It would be far easier for you to join in and share his/her excitement in that way too.

Afterward, you knew that both of them were feeling the same way, but you would almost have to have some sort of intuition to understand the INFP. The INFJ was able to explain it all much better and therefore able to share and be excited right along with you.

I think it is for reasons like this that INFPs feel isolated from the world. We see how people are able to connect with each other emotionally, but often times feel like for us it only works one-way, we can't share as easily with others. It means friends have to work a little harder to keep that emotional bank balance more even. I also think there's some sort of intrinsic guilt associated with it too. But I'm likely grasping at straws right now too, so I think I'm going to finish this and post.

I hope that helped!


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## Lucretius (Sep 10, 2009)

HollyGolightly said:


> INFPs are lovely


I could say the same about you INFJs...roud:


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## snowqueen (Mar 24, 2009)

I don't know if you're still posting/visiting here, but I thought this was absolutely spot on. I really only learned to express my emotions in my 30s and even now I find it really awkward and difficult to do. But I can tell you how I feel - unfortunately I think this makes me come across rather unemotional when in fact I am an extremely emotional person. That is what makes us INFJs feel isolated too I think. A lot of people don't want to hear about your emotions, they want to see and share them. When I really trust someone I can show emotion but there are only a handful of people in the world I could do that with.



faeriegal713 said:


> The way I understood it was that if you had two friends, one and INFP, one an INFJ and they were feeling the exact same thing - let's say extreme gratitude - you would have two very different ways to figure this out.
> 
> You would notice something was immediately different about your INFP friend, s/he would be displaying for all the world to see that something great and wonderful had happened. If you asked him/her about it s/he could tell you what happened but would have an extreme difficulty finding the words to convey just how special and important it was to him/her. The best way to describe what would be going on in his/her mind is all these words and pictures and emotions tumbling over themselves trying to get through some sort of gate, but none getting through because there's no order. Even if one or two things manage to squeeze through, there's no context with which to make it understandable.
> 
> ...


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## Kastor (Aug 28, 2009)

Everytime I see a thread title like that I imagine it as a 'Who would win? INFP Vs. INFJ' and then they'd battle :crazy:


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## Parttime muse (Feb 8, 2010)

Psilo said:


> I found this thread over at TypeC (which was found at an INFJ forum)
> 
> INFPs focus on values.
> INFJs value their focus.
> ...


No wonder I'm so borderline between the two. I'm split down the middle. XD Thanks for posting this.


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## faeriegal713 (Sep 29, 2009)

Parttime muse said:


> No wonder I'm so borderline between the two. I'm split down the middle. XD Thanks for posting this.


Have you taken a look at this website before? INFJ or INFP? a closer look

I've found it very enlightening and helpful even though I know that I am soundly an INFP. It helps me to understand one of my good friends as she is an INFJ, which is quite nice when I'm usually sitting there going "I get it, sort of. If I turn my head sideways and close an eye. But I think I get it."


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## GreenCoyote (Nov 2, 2009)

Irulan said:


> I don't know much about how INFPs think, but those three felt the most accurate as an INFJ.
> 
> The first one is because it's when I'm not aware that I am subconsciously analyzing a person that I suddenly notice something unnoticeable about them. It is when I am aware of my state of mind that I become confused and quite aloof.
> 
> ...



thank you for this. 
reading your version of things felt very spot on for me.

I'm kind of glad we are all here to help each other understand and explain things a bit...
if you ever try talking to another INFJ/INFP it can be difficult...
we all have different little intuition dictionaries in our minds that understanding the differences between feeling/emotions can be commonly chaotic.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

I'm going to break this down for myself, because I plain feel like it :laughing:, and I feel like dispelling generalities about INFPs that I disagree with (or at least, don't see in myself).

*INFPs focus on values.
INFJs value their focus.

*I can get with that. 

*INFPs invoke their feelings.
INFJs feel their invocations.*

This is just a convoluted way of saying: when introspecting, are you evaluating in some way or just seeking inspiration? Fi vs. Ni. 

Fi can seem like Ni in this description because Fi's judgments are disconnected from the external, making it "original" and self-inspiring. 

*INFPs use their intuition to validate their feelings.
INFJs use their feelings to validate their intuitions.*

INFP: Fi needs Ne to find external "proof" for feelings which are otherwise disconnected from the world
.
INFJ: Ni needs Fe to make a value judgment on their perceptions so that these sights take on some purpose & meaning & become insights.

*INFPs react with strong emotions.
INFJs have strong reactions to emotions.*

"React" is misleading. React implies expression. INFPs may feel emotion internally very strongly, but in my case, that is seldom shown on the surface, except amongst people I trust a lot. I don't tend to react to someone else's emotion unless I am personally involved in the situation. I manage to have my sympathies engaged and yet remain calm. I can then walk away with my personal mood completely unaffected.

*INFPs know what it could be.
INFJs know what it couldn’t be.*

Ne expands outward to grasp & create many possibilities, and Ni contracts the possibilties for clarity.

*INFPs use emotional currency.
INFJs use their emotions currently.*

Nope. Emotional currency is very, very Fe IMO. I think INFPs balk at that sort of thing. It implies a looking outward for value by determining what is expected or the norm. It also implies exchange. All of this is at odds with Fi, which is removed from the external, determines value by it's own internal feeling, and is intrapersonal over interpersonal.

IDK what "use emotions currently" is supposed to mean, but it feels like a strained attempt to keep the wordplay going.... I would say I have a delayed reaction on emotions, because I like to keep them subdued until I can sort out what they mean. So maybe I don't use them "currently".
*
INFPs don’t know when to quit, and tend to jump out.
INFJs don’t know where to start, and tend to jump in. *

Whatever. 

I do both & neither, depending on the situation. Spontaneity of action is more closely associated with INFPs though.

*INFPs strive to nurture those around them.
INFJs nurture those around them to strive.
*
Let's not confuse "nurture" with an ISFJ style though. "Heal" and "inspire" are better words, IMO. In a sense, INFPs are inspiring people to strive, by putting confidence in their ability to figure out their own way. This is NOT people-pleasing or task-oriented.

*INFPs know where it begins.
INFJs know where it ends.*

Whatever. 

This suggests INFPs are more past-oriented, which sounds like a Si-dom. Ne can see the big picture, the future, and its possibilities. 

*INFPs are highly aware of their feelings.
INFJs feel they are highly aware.*

Let's remember that feeling means judgment, values, and knowing yourself. So this is true. 
Maybe it's just because I am INFP, but it seems like INFJs stop short....like, they are aware, period. INFPs are aware _and_ they evaluate. I'm going to be egotistical and say I feel more multi-dimensional than an INFJ :tongue:

*INFPs figure it out by thinking about it too much.
INFJs figure it out by not thinking about it at all.*

True for me. I guess that means we're more reasonable and rational? Muwhahaha :laughing:
The tendency to evaluate and analyze and harmonize internally is very strong for me.

*INFPs have trouble expressing their feelings, but not showing their emotions.
INFJs have trouble showing their emotions, but not expressing their feelings.*

Reverse for me. I don't express emotion easily, especially positive emotion. It makes me feel way too vulnerable. I also guard my deeper feeling-values, but I will voice my opinion much more readily than an emotional reaction.

*INFPs tell about something someone they know did.
INFJs tell someone about something they know they did.*

Um, okay. If this implies that INFPs are less prone to revealing personal info, then I'd say that's true for me.

*INFPs come to feel your emotions with you.
INFJs feel the emotions coming from you.*

I wouldn't say I feel other people's emotions, so much as I imagine them in a way that I can grasp them, even if I have never been in that situation or felt that way myself. I do not _experience_ the emotion myself in the moment though.

*INFPs open up to harmony.
INFJs need harmony to open up.*

Same thing, IMO.


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## snowqueen (Mar 24, 2009)

[Thanks to Seducer on facebook chat this is literally the 8th time I am attempting this!!!]

You've done a good job, OA, but I hope you don't mind if I add to it from an INFJ perspective?



OrangeAppled said:


> I'm going to break this down for myself, because I plain feel like it :laughing:, and I feel like dispelling generalities about INFPs that I disagree with (or at least, don't see in myself).
> 
> *INFPs focus on values.*
> *INFJs value their focus.*
> ...


Hope some of that makes sense


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

snowqueen said:


> [Thanks to Seducer on facebook chat this is literally the 8th time I am attempting this!!!]
> 
> You've done a good job, OA, but I hope you don't mind if I add to it from an INFJ perspective?
> 
> ...


Well, I disagree with your take on INFPs in some areas, because it does not fit me or line up with my general understanding of MBTI & the functions :wink:. I admit it brings up a few major misconceptions I was trying to dispel in my post above.....

_No, INFPs feeling function is linked to perceiving, not judgement. So how I read this is that INFPs are able to summon up a feeling within themselves and experience it. Possibly it's linked to a memory or image, but the feeling is the primary aspect._

_INFPs may not show the strong emotion, but it is still the filter with which they interact with the world and as such it is 'strong'. An INFP will be perfectly happy making a decision not to do something or to do something simply because it 'feels right'._

You seem to be equating Fi with inner emotion. Feeling in MBTI does not mean emotion, but rather, it is a rational, judging function, and the reason INFPs seem less "judgmental" than INFJs is because our Feeling is turned inward. My decision making process is not one of emotions, but of rational reason. I certainly consider my emotions and glean much meaning from them, but my feeling is separate and may even be at odds with my emotions at times. 

Of course, Ne is turned outward, and its perceptions bring info in for Fi to sort, & it is also used for expression of Fi. So outwardly, an INFP appears to be a perceiver, easy-going, and content to just see the possibilities, but inwardly, we are "harmonizing & clarifying" as profiles put it, meaning we have a developed a hierarchy of values from our feelings. This is why an INFP can suddenly seem stubborn or firm out of nowhere - there's a firm spine beneath that easy-going exterior. There is much judgment going on internally; it's not extended outwardly, but it's used to understand our feelings on things.

_I'm going to disagree on this one but only because I am thinking of 'currency' differently. What I have observed about INFPs is that they are extremely good at getting their emotional needs met and at getting other people to do what they want. This isn't about manipulating people though - it's a talent not a skill. So they know how to negotiate using emotion as the currency - they don't convince people to do things for them by cleverly reasoned arguments!! _

I am soooo not good at "getting my emotional needs met", and I cannot see how this is associated with INFPs. I CAN & DO make a good argument, but that still doesn't mean I get people to do what I want. How much easier life would be if that were the case...... Emotional manipulation is much more associated with Fe again.....Fe affects its environment much more than Fi. An INFP is working with Ne when dealing with the external world.

_I don't think this is about the past, but more about the present - what needs to be done now to get things started. (INFP) They don't feel the need to know where it will end up, they just like the spaciousness of possibility.

INFJS are motivated by end product, resolution, perfection (hence the perfected self or the perfected person whose potential is met) I think this is often what alienates the INFJ - I mean how can anyone liv up to our expectations?!_

INFPs usually do like to keep things open, but don't doubt that we cannot be perfectionists. Many profiles say we're the ultimate idealists & may even have control issues with "projects" & "causes" we greatly value, and while we may be open to many variations of our idealistic vision, rarely does anything come close to it. Remember that our dominant function is actually a judging one, which can make us very critical internally, even if it's not expressed as openly as an INFJ. Often this criticism is turned upon ourselves.

I like to think of INFPs having two modes: caring & not caring. Not caring is when we don't make decisions, don't criticize, seem to go with the flow, and are generally inoffensive. But when we care - watch out! :wink:

_you sound more like an INFJ then!_

Nah....many INFPs say that they are not emotionally expressive unless they feel very safe with someone. People just have misconceptions about INFPs and I think they go around mistyping any quiet, warm person as INFP. I suspect many ISFx types get mistyped as INFP. On the surface, I might get mistyped INTP by someone, because I do not come across as warm, although I can be subtly moody (moody implies emotion).


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## aela (Mar 1, 2010)

Oh. I was expecting mud wrestling.


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## My December (Mar 6, 2010)

addle1618 said:


> INFPs have trouble expressing their feelings, but not showing their emotions.
> INFJs have trouble showing their emotions, but not expressing their feelings.
> 
> What does that even mean!? :laughing:


I think they're trying to say that for INFPs it can be hard for us to hide our emotions. People can usually tell if we're upset or happy, etc. But for us to express how we feel is very difficult.

It's the opposite for INFJs. They can tell you all day long about how they feel but it is hard to read their emotions.

*The word play does get annoying*


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## aella (Sep 18, 2011)

Irulan said:


> I don't know much about how INFPs think, but those three felt the most accurate as an INFJ.
> 
> The first one is because it's when I'm not aware that I am subconsciously analyzing a person that I suddenly notice something unnoticeable about them. It is when I am aware of my state of mind that I become confused and quite aloof.
> 
> ...


YES! YES! YES! YES! I totally agree and completely understand -- especially the talking about my feelings rather than showing them & feeling others emotions rather than feeling emotions with them.


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## aella (Sep 18, 2011)

snowqueen said:


> I don't know if you're still posting/visiting here, but I thought this was absolutely spot on. I really only learned to express my emotions in my 30s and even now I find it really awkward and difficult to do. But I can tell you how I feel - unfortunately I think this makes me come across rather unemotional when in fact I am an extremely emotional person. That is what makes us INFJs feel isolated too I think. A lot of people don't want to hear about your emotions, they want to see and share them. When I really trust someone I can show emotion but there are only a handful of people in the world I could do that with.


I am an INFJ and completely agree with this. I too am extremely emotional; but can talk about my emotions much better than display them. Like you, it makes me feel isolated. Thanks for this post.


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## chasingdreams (Jul 16, 2011)

Yeah I don't agree with it entirely, but I can relate to both sides somewhat :s. Perhaps my J is just a bit stronger than other INFPs, but my P is definitely stronger than my J. Anyhow, thanks for the post !


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## chasingdreams (Jul 16, 2011)

My December said:


> I think they're trying to say that for INFPs it can be hard for us to hide our emotions. People can usually tell if we're upset or happy, etc. But for us to express how we feel is very difficult.
> 
> It's the opposite for INFJs. They can tell you all day long about how they feel but it is hard to read their emotions.
> 
> *The word play does get annoying*


Funny, I'm more like INFJs when it comes to hiding my emotions and not revealing them. Actually, I've met a few INFPs who act like that as well, and they're pretty good at hiding what's going through them. So I don't think it only goes for INFJs.


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## overand (Jul 29, 2010)

addle1618:135141 said:


> INFPs have trouble expressing their feelings, but not showing their emotions.
> INFJs have trouble showing their emotions, but not expressing their feelings.
> 
> What does that even mean!? :laughing:


was in a relationship with an infp, she was lovely, she just couldn't talk about what she was feeling, the emotions came out, she felt somewhat inferior too me (silly because i thought the world of her) and her burts of emotion were intense beyond words (violent at times). where as i could talk about what i felt all day long maintaining a calm demeanor. long story short the harmony escaped us, and i could no longer open up. and shit hit the fan. it was all communication error between us. but at the end of the day i know how she felt for me and i for her. bittersweet.


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## doucette (Oct 23, 2011)

I liked this:

INFPs react with strong emotions.
INFJs have strong reactions to emotions.


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## bigtalljay (May 18, 2011)

Thanks for the post. I liked it, as a poetic attempt at explaining some differences. Somewhat accurate, but a little too clean and contrived. I thought the criticisms from @OrangeAppled were helpful.


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