# College friends= POOF during the summer



## Alumina (Jan 22, 2013)

Yeah college friends usually go after college is finished.


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## kittycatwindow (Jul 4, 2014)

Alumina said:


> Yeah college friends usually go after college is finished.


Was this meant to be a snarky response?? Oh. 


hammersklavier said:


> I'm guessing you're strongly N, probably NT. You do realize only 1 out of every 10 people is NT, right? And the more strongly you are, the more difficult it is to maintain friendships with S's. I'm sorry to tell you this, but unless you have a strong geeky interest that drives your social life _without your organizational input_ (because I'm willing to bet that you, like me, have a Murphy touch when it comes to planning social outings and so avoid it) most people are naturally, over time, going to drift away from you, because _you are not like them_.
> 
> My advice is: Forget your old friends. Unless there's one or two you'd like to keep close touch with. Revel in your geekiest pursuits. That's where you'll find your real friends. (And by "revel" I mean more than just _saying_ you're geeky and hanging around the computer -- I mean making yourself a regular at the game shop or local Nerd Nite or art farts' gathering or whatever). Take advantage of ready-built, self-sustaining, inclusive communities...because exclusive communities will have a tendency to, well, _exclude_ you.


Well, it's not that I'm bad at/don't like organizing things. I actually really do, & I'm good at it. But once I get to the point where I'm not sure whether or not people actually like me, I refrain from doing so because 1) rejection sucks & 2) I hate being annoying. If I have people to organize things with, I totally will-- & I did for a while, but then... well, all of this happened.

& yeah, I'm not an NT, but I'm an INFJ (definitely a strong F), so I still am a bit of a mystery to people, I guess. With most of my college friends (especially the ones who _didn't_ get on my nerves), we did connect because of common interests (books, theatre, TV shows, etc.) but it apparently wasn't enough to keep the friendships going?? I don't know. But yeah, I've pretty much come to terms with the fact that it's a lost cause with these people.


emberfly said:


> grats to you for having college friends ( ¬‿¬)═ɜ ɛ═(⌐‿⌐ )


Heh. Yeah, not as fun as it seems when they all don't like you. oopz! :crazy:


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## aeralin (Jul 11, 2014)

I am friends with exactly none of the people I met during college freshman year and neither is my SO. Soooo...just saying? This partly was both of our faults, our social circles (in college) were the same so that is why I included him. They invited us, we would decline saying we had plans. Once in awhile we would accept and show up. I wouldn't consider any of these people my "friends" they are simply people I went to college with, we got along, and we drank together. 

Social circles are different than friends, in my opinion and I would never label those people as my friends. They are just common interest groups or something. 

First year college summer by the way? Most people want to reconnect with high school friends and hang out with family. They were just with you for awhile...end story here: don't take things personal. It'd be weird inviting a high school friend to hang out with college friend and vice versa and it would be weird for you too.


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## Sangmu (Feb 18, 2014)

Better yet...

Make friends outside of college!

College = academic success
Work = career success
Life = friendship and romantic success

This doesn't mean you can't make a genuine friend through college...just don't get caught up in "fitting into groups". It's not middle school and those who think it is are kind of pathetic.


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## BroNerd (Nov 27, 2010)

It kind of sucks, but I'd use this opportunity to make new friends. If they're good friends, you'll forget about the old ones.
With that said, keep trying to stay in touch with the friends you like during the summer. Maybe you guys can form your own mini-group when you get back to school.

It gets easier when you get older. People mature and you know how to spot the "bad traits" in those who you wouldn't make good friends. You get better at reading people.

I'll be honest though and admit that I've taken the "just ignore him/her" approach with someone I didn't want to hang out with anymore. It's cowardly. It's passive aggressive. I know.. But it's possible that those who are ignoring you are basically hoping you will "go away" if they don't respond. Hopefully you made some good college friends though


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## kittycatwindow (Jul 4, 2014)

WhateverLolaWants said:


> Better yet...
> 
> Make friends outside of college!
> 
> ...


Well, for most of the year, college _is_ my life. I live with the people I go to school with (without transportation to go anywhere else), so I really _have_ to make friends at college or have none at all. & I go to school 2 hours from home, so I can't exactly make friends home & continue hanging out with them when I go back to college. I need to have friends in both places, but unfortunately, I don't have either.

& I'm not one for groups, in case I didn't make that evident enough. I made a few friends & it wound up developing into a group I couldn't escape from unless I wanted to be alone 24/7. "Fitting in" has never really been my worry; finding people who can get to know me & still stick around is.


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## Sangmu (Feb 18, 2014)

@kittycatwindow 

Your friends seem really obnoxious and uncaring in their behavior towards you. When I was referring to people who are pathetic and cliquey in college I was referring to them, not you. 

That is pretty brutal that you don't have access to public transportation. That's the main reason I would only choose a college in a city.


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