# The Longest You've Remained Single



## Lady K (Oct 13, 2009)

It's true. People always seem more appealing to others when they can see that someone already likes them. It's like we feel that there must be _something_ good about them if that person likes them.


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## Shoku (Aug 12, 2009)

Im becoming terribly depressed about this issue. I've gone through all of college without dating at all. 

Well, I should probably add that I'm introverted so almost all of the advice iget on the matter is along the lines of "you need to stop having those problems you already recognize but don't know how to change." just recently I've realized this is the central issue in most of my dives into depression but being on the verge of tears all day is not very conductive to flirting.

This time is particularly brutal because I don't feel like I have any options left.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lantern (Feb 15, 2010)

Shoku said:


> Im becoming terribly depressed about this issue. I've gone through all of college without dating at all.
> 
> Well, I should probably add that I'm introverted so almost all of the advice iget on the matter is along the lines of "you need to stop having those problems you already recognize but don't know how to change." just recently I've realized this is the central issue in most of my dives into depression but being on the verge of tears all day is not very conductive to flirting.
> 
> ...


Never dated before does not mean you are less worthy of a person *hugs*


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## Shoku (Aug 12, 2009)

lantern said:


> Never dated before does not mean you are less worthy of a person *hugs*


I can tell as much but being single is still not something I want.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jitte (Apr 5, 2010)

11 years.

I got divorced from my 2nd wife in '93, lived w/ a girl for a couple months in '95, then got married the 3rd time in '06.

I've lived alone for the past 3 years and don't ever see myself in being in another relationship as long as I live. I'm not into the dating scene and don't know anyone I would like to go out with.


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## lantern (Feb 15, 2010)

Shoku said:


> I can tell as much but being single is still not something I want.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I find that when I'm not looking, it's when something happens, someone comes into my life....


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## Shoku (Aug 12, 2009)

That apparently never happens with me. Not looking just leads me to being a hermit without any connection to the outside world. 

About two years ago a friend of mine met someone new on the trains that I talked to a little bit. That was the last time I met anyone without doing anything. Since then I've had a small few passing acquaintances as classmates I was placed in proximity to and really that is the only kind of thing I've ever had from sharing a class with someone.

So really the person I met at a job four years ago was my last real acquaintance. Doesn't matter much though because all of my friends have moved away except for the small group around my sister but I haven't even seen any of them for a month.

...
How long do you wait?


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## lantern (Feb 15, 2010)

Shoku said:


> That apparently never happens with me. Not looking just leads me to being a hermit without any connection to the outside world.
> 
> About two years ago a friend of mine met someone new on the trains that I talked to a little bit. That was the last time I met anyone without doing anything. Since then I've had a small few passing acquaintances as classmates I was placed in proximity to and really that is the only kind of thing I've ever had from sharing a class with someone.
> 
> ...


I don't really consciously have a 'waiting period' - although after a relationship I do like a time of recovery and reflection. I use this time to remember and appreciate both the good and not so good memories. I then just live my life, enjoy the present and look to the future. The best relationships come at a time when you truly love and respect yourself, like attracts like


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## Shoku (Aug 12, 2009)

But how long does that take? Would you still want to wait after eight years?


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## lantern (Feb 15, 2010)

It depends on the relationship. My longest relationship was 5 years and it took me 2 years to completely come to terms with it because I still really loved him and I don't think during that time I would have wanted to start a new relationship with someone else as that person wouldn't have had my full heart and I would feel it wasn't fair on that person either. My last relationship lasted just under 1 year and it took me a year to come to terns with that one just because it wasn't exactly a great relationship. 

Every one is different, some people like the single time for longer, some people are faster at recovering and going straight from one relationship to another.

I've never waited for 8 years, I've been single for just over 3 years, I'm quite happy where I am, I have had a few crushes this year but not done anything about it for reasons I won't go into!
If someone came along and I felt that 'something' then I wouldn't say no, but I would be open to friendship first, as learning from my past I jumped in too quickly so in future I would like to get to know a man first now as a friend before falling in love, although that doesn't mean that I'll not get those butterfly feelings and daydream - I'm just going to learn to be more patient and make sure that person is the person I really want to be with.


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## Shoku (Aug 12, 2009)

What kinds of ways do these people come into your life?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lantern (Feb 15, 2010)

Well if I was using my past relationships then the first two were from meeting online and then were friends with, the last one was a friend of a friend - met at a bar.

Short crushes - men who have met in person, some men who I haven't met (from here) and no I'm not saying who they are lol.


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## Miraji (Mar 12, 2010)

my longest relationship was for one year and the longest period i was single in was three years


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

I went a a whole year of being single. It was in 1995. The same year I did my first marathon.Hmm..don't know if that means something..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

I've been single for 24 years or 8,823 days to be more precise.:tongue:

Seriously, I've never been in a relationship - never really tried to get into one.


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## Daimai (Feb 14, 2010)

16 years and still counting.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

26 years, 3 months, 28 days, 11 hours, 9 minutes, 35 seconds, and counting....


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

Daimai said:


> 16 years and still counting.


Crap, you posted first :crazy:


In reality, I've only been dating since I was about 20, and I've never had a long term relationship (or anyone I'd call a boyfriend), so I guess you could say I've been single for 6 years. I haven't been on a date in almost a year now. But really, my first post is accurate :tongue:.


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## Stolen (Apr 5, 2010)

Two months shy of 21 years.


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## Deja Vu (Dec 26, 2009)

No long term relationships.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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