# Good example of asking?



## Raawx (Oct 9, 2013)

Yes, the title is. Aside from that, I was listening to this song in my car today, and I was thinking that the chorus could be a good example to illustrate what askers might look like (even though it's much easier to notice than other types). It's also a good song so






Whaddya think?


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## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

Raawx said:


> Whaddya think?


Yes. That's a good song too. But askers vs declarers. It's pretty straightforward. Askers can have a conversation and make a statement in the form of a question thus being able to better facilitate a dialogue between two people. Declarers tend to make declarative statements and can have conversations that seem more like a speech or a monologue. When two declarers speak to one another, the conversation can seem like a series of statements where each other are talking at one another and not to them. Whereas if you have to askers talking to one another, the conversation can seemingly become very erratic and seem to go nowhere. 

Overall, if the wiki is correct then that's a fourth tier dichotomy and one of the least useful in determining type.


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## Raawx (Oct 9, 2013)

MNiS said:


> Yes. That's a good song too. But askers vs declarers. It's pretty straightforward. Askers can have a conversation and make a statement in the form of a question thus being able to better facilitate a dialogue between two people. Declarers tend to make declarative statements and can have conversations that seem more like a speech or a monologue. When two declarers speak to one another, the conversation can seem like a series of statements where each other are talking at one another and not to them.


Haha, yeah it is pretty straightforward. 

Aha, I totally experienced that yesterday! Actually, one of them I really think is an asker (she nods excessively in group discussions). Either way, the asker was pissed off with the declarer and they both just made a series of short statements. I think the asker was an ESTJ and the declarer was an ENFJ, heh.


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## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

Raawx said:


> Haha, yeah it is pretty straightforward.
> 
> Aha, I totally experienced that yesterday! Actually, one of them I really think is an asker (she nods excessively in group discussions). Either way, the asker was pissed off with the declarer and they both just made a series of short statements. I think the asker was an ESTJ and the declarer was an ENFJ, heh.


If it's super-ego then there are all kinds of mismatches between the traits and quadra differences themselves. It's actually not that bad as long as they don't try to become too close. It's fine for a workplace relationship for example and some even end up getting married. :shocked: It's the type of marriage where it was convenient and/or political and ends in divorce or becoming frigid/estranged later on in life.


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## Raawx (Oct 9, 2013)

MNiS said:


> If it's super-ego then there are all kinds of mismatches between the traits and quadra differences themselves. It's actually not that bad as long as they don't try to become too close. It's fine for a workplace relationship for example and some even end up getting married. :shocked: It's the type of marriage where it was convenient and/or political and ends in divorce or becoming frigid/estranged later on in life.


Like Hilary and Bill? :crazy:


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## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

Raawx said:


> Like Hilary and Bill? :crazy:


Yes, exactly like Hilary and Bill Clinton. Nice. :happy:


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Asking types will phrase themselves like this in conversation (trying to emulate a convo with the gf):

A: It was a nice weather today? Yes, I really liked it.
D: But it was raining outside?
A: It was raining? 
D: Yes.
A: Where do you live, under a rock?
D: No, we live in the same house.
A: Then where were you this whole day if you didn't notice all the sunshine?
D: I was at work which is just 15 min away from here.
A: So what were you doing at work anyway?
D: Working? 

etc.

I am not sure how it looks like between two askers because I haven't observed it, but it tends to look like this between two declarers:

D1: It's raining outside.
D2: I see. I really like the rain.
D1: Me too, it's so soothing.
D2: They say that when it's raining, someone stepped on a spider that died. It's bad luck.
D1: I never liked spiders.
D2: Spiders are disgusting.
D1: I should probably go clean the house anyway.
D2: Cleaning's so boring. I think I stay here.


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## Word Dispenser (May 18, 2012)

ephemereality said:


> Asking types will phrase themselves like this in conversation (trying to emulate a convo with the gf):
> 
> A: It was a nice weather today? Yes, I really liked it.
> D: But it was raining outside?
> ...


Then I must be a declarer. I don't think I phrase all of my answers into a question.

I do make statements which are secret questions, though, and confuses or even angers people.

Example:

A: I've decided that you are incorrigible!
B: Because I ate the ice cream. (Flatly. Without the upper questioning tone at the end, but meant that way.)
A: No, because you were late for your appointment!
B: When was I late for my appointment? I was there on time, otherwise I would have been charged extra!
A: If you were there on time, you would have gone to bed on time.
B: When did I agree to a time?

Etc. etc.. Just a really obscure example which has no real meaning beyond the phrasing and tonal inflections therein.


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Word Dispenser said:


> Then I must be a declarer. I don't think I phrase all of my answers into a question.
> 
> I do make statements which are secret questions, though, and confuses or even angers people.
> 
> ...


I'm not an asker so emulating an asker type is difficult for me but yes, you are right. I also exaggerated for effect. It's not like declarers cannot ask questions but when they do they always come across as definitive statements e.g. You don't say?


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## Sixty Nein (Feb 13, 2011)

I honestly do know where I am in this sort of dichotomy, or if such a thing actually even matters. Oh well.

Looking at the lyrics, it's probably a decent example. I don't really care much for the song itself though, it's one of those /mu/core indie shit that I don't really like.


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## tangosthenes (Oct 29, 2011)

This difference is lost on me...

Askers can say things that are questions, but also ask questions
Declarers can ask questions that are statements, but also just state

I suppose seeing this in action would help... but it seems that there's an awful lot of room for askers to state questions and declarers to ask statements, and have them look the same.

ephemereality's example comes off as the asker being nosy
and in word dispenser's example, it just seems as if the declarer is being nosy

Even still, that double declarer example was effective because it seems so damn strange. 
1:I like oranges.
2:I like oranges, too.
1:I like sex.
2:I like oranges, too.
1:I think I love you.
2:I like oranges, too.

Isn't it more often the case that who is the asker and who is the declarer is rapidly shifting in conversation?

Or did I just show you the perfect example of what an asker speaks like? Who can say..

Not only was this post suggestive of questions, it directly led to a statement within a question.

So maybe what I'm trying to say is that askers are highly suggestive and declarers are not. Askers try to stir up a certain thing in the other person and declarers depend on the person's own independent reaction. Or that could be something else, like Fi/Fe or Ni/Ne or whatever(not sure exactly what it would be; maybe just doubt).


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

tangosthenes said:


> Isn't it more often the case that who is the asker and who is the declarer is rapidly shifting in conversation?


I think so only in the case of two duals conversing and they are dualizing. As a whole speaking from personal experience, I remain a declarer and an obvious one. Also, speaking from personal experience after having spoken to several identicals, conversations really go like the one I gave an example of. Because we usually speak over Skype, it becomes even more bizarre as we may speak about two entirely different subjects and go on our own tangents without ever necessarily addressing what the other one is saying and only reacting to what is being said by stating something in relation to it.


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## The Exception (Oct 26, 2010)

ephemereality said:


> Asking types will phrase themselves like this in conversation (trying to emulate a convo with the gf):
> 
> A: It was a nice weather today? Yes, I really liked it.
> D: But it was raining outside?
> ...



I'm confused as to whether I'm more asking or declaring. I ask a lot of questions but it's with the purpose of actually getting an answer. I also do alot of hmm and uhm in my speech pattern. As an LII I should be an asking type (assuming I've typed myself correctly) but I seem to relate to the declaring example more above.


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## Recede (Nov 23, 2011)

Hmm, I seem like a declarer, but SLI is supposed to be an asking type. The only thing that might point toward asking over declaring for me is that I dislike actual monologues such as PMs or emails and prefer instant messaging, but that's just because it's hard for me to think of that much to say.


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