# Confused by ESFJ friend



## Einstein (Aug 10, 2011)

I have an ESFJ friend who is usually very friendly with me, but the last few times I've seen her she hasn't even said hi to me. She usually starts conversations with me and sits next to me and likes to interact with me. Why is she suddenly ignoring me? I certainly didn't do anything that would have caused this.


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## BooksandButterflies (Jul 26, 2012)

*Ask her what's wrong. Tell her she's not being herself. It may have nothing to do with you, might even be a girl thing!*:laughing:
*​Hopefully it's nothing too serious and she'll go back to her usual self.*


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## Einstein (Aug 10, 2011)

BooksandButterflies said:


> *Ask her what's wrong. Tell her she's not being herself. It may have nothing to do with you, might even be a girl thing!*:laughing:
> *​Hopefully it's nothing too serious and she'll go back to her usual self.*


What kind of girl thing????

Well I do know that she's been a bit unhappy lately. So that's probably it.


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## BooksandButterflies (Jul 26, 2012)

Einstein said:


> What kind of girl thing????
> 
> Well I do know that she's been a bit unhappy lately. So that's probably it.


*Could be she's upset over a guy. Or...well I will leave it at that.*:laughing:


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## Einstein (Aug 10, 2011)

BooksandButterflies said:


> *Could be she's upset over a guy. Or...well I will leave it at that.*:laughing:


No  I want answers!


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## BooksandButterflies (Jul 26, 2012)

Einstein said:


> No  I want answers!


*​Sometimes hormones make the sweetest girl an evil version of herself. She might need meds if this continues or gets worse.*


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## Razare (Apr 21, 2009)

1) She's upset with something you did.

2) She's upset and doesn't feel like being herself, which she feels obligated to be around you.

3) She's decided she's too cool for you.

... or there are one of several hundred other possibilities.


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## EddyHeady (Oct 3, 2011)

She's probably not qualified you as the friend who she wants to share her present problems with, or she doesn't want to share it with anyone. Give it time, and she will tell you what was up. How you react on the situation decides whether she'll come to you next time or not. My ESFJ friend don't handle problems very well, especially those with feelings. Rarely asks for help, but just as rarely does he anything about it. Goes away over time.


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## Hunny Bunny (Jan 12, 2011)

I am ESFJ. Often times when I get really upset, I don't want to be a burden to anyone - so I just clam up and get really introverted. I hate it. It's at these times I wish someone would pull me out of my shell. She might really really need a friend right now and not know how to ask for help.  The best thing to do would be to talk to her. She might cry. She might even insist that nothing is wrong, but still cry. Just let her know that you want to be her friend and that you are there for her. She will eventually open up to you and tell you.

Just my two cents worth.


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## Einstein (Aug 10, 2011)

Hunny Bunny said:


> I am ESFJ. Often times when I get really upset, I don't want to be a burden to anyone - so I just clam up and get really introverted. I hate it. It's at these times I wish someone would pull me out of my shell. She might really really need a friend right now and not know how to ask for help.  The best thing to do would be to talk to her. She might cry. She might even insist that nothing is wrong, but still cry. Just let her know that you want to be her friend and that you are there for her. She will eventually open up to you and tell you.
> 
> Just my two cents worth.


I don't know how to do that! She's always the one to pull me out of my shell. Meh.


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## Hunny Bunny (Jan 12, 2011)

Einstein said:


> I don't know how to do that! She's always the one to pull me out of my shell. Meh.


You are ENTJ! You should know how to do this. Just ASK her. She might really need someone to ask her. Trust me, I've been there before and I know how it feels. If she's been the one to pull you out of your shell then you should be a good friend and be willing to do the same for her. Comprende?

Just ask: "Are you okay?"

That's literally all it takes.


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## Shadowlight (Dec 12, 2012)

Einstein said:


> I don't know how to do that! She's always the one to pull me out of my shell. Meh.


"Mirror" her behaviour a little.


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