# How to deal with overbearing, anal retentive SJ parents?



## spook

ok disclaimer.. I don't think all SJs are like this, my parents are just anal retentive about order and need everything done the "right" way according to an exact schedule which obviously drives me crazy. My dad who's some sort of unhealthy ESxJ also has a volatile temper, and the only reason my mum who's probably an ISFJ stayed with him is bc her patience is a double edged sword, thinking she can change him by staying, thus remaining a miserable doormat for the rest of her life. She always makes excuses for him, like our business isn't going very well, and whenever he doesn't make money, he's inevitably going to be grumpy! Well gee, how am I supposed to react sympathetically, nice to be of service for letting you take it out on me every time that happens?

It seems all they ever do is criticise me for being lazy and incompetent, and this actually takes quite a toll on my self-esteem as much as I try to detach afterwards. Granted, sometimes I'm slacking on the household chores, I'm trying to put more effort in to get them off my back, but today after I forgot to take in the washing, my dad went off at me like you wouldn't imagine over something so petty! I never understood why parents feel the need to be so fussy over their kids' living space being a little messy.. they think sloppy organisation is a reflection on my whole competence and independence as a person. It's like the warped logic you hear about people who drop out of school/college being a reflection of their commitment in relationships, well my parents think no one could possibly respect me for living in my head and not being practical enough. They're even meticulous about clothes not being folded properly, like are you serious? You're going to unfold those clothes when you wear them!!! ARGH!!!!!!! (disgusted with myself for having such genes). I just calmed down from a huge screaming fight with them and although it would be ideal for me to move out, that option isn't practical as I'm still financially dependent on them. ): Any tips on how to cope? It seems the only compromise they'll except is ABIDE BY OUR RULES OR YOU ARE DISRESPECTFUL AND USELESS. </rant>

I'm also curious if you are an SJ, how well did you get along with your SJ and/or intuitive parents?


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## Narrator

Gahh, that sucks. I have an ISTJ dad who's just a tad into the whole a tidy room means the end of the universe thing, and certainly only seems to see the bad things. I'm lucky in having a developed, more laid back ISFJ mum, which helps alot as we can make fun of my dad's grumpiness, irrationality and strange interpretation of everything and it sort've is a way through to him - it's not nasty, it's just a way of showing him that he is a little crazy - he raises his voice about something rediculously insignificant, I go 'Oh MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE MUM?!', so he can sort've start to laugh at him self - after a fair bit of work, and a long period of time trying to feed him sense. Maybe be direct about it? Try and find someone who can back you up - not gang up on them, but act as sort of support for your case.

Another thing that helps is - this works well if either one has a very selective memory - seeing or remembering what they expect to remember generally - making it seem like something happened subtly, or lie with a straight face about something, that, to everyone else clearly didn't happen, and then letting them realise, and also see 'What would have been so awful if it HAD hapened? Would the world have instantly combusted? No, it wouldn't'. Spilt water, or lost sunglasses/sandals work for me, but it probably depends on the individual.


Another tactic I've used is to withdraw any affection - speak coldly, shortly, no eye contact, use grunts where possible - while doing what they want to the least enthused, despondent degree. But that works better with an introvert and just one crazy SJ parent, so I'm not sure how it would work for two, maybe just make things worse. Just something to ponder on. Finding a way of 'getting through', even if it's just communicating that you want nothing to do with the person they're being is sort've the way I've found.


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## spook

Yeah regarding the last paragraph, I do that a lot, pretty much stay in my room all day and act curtly pissed when they want me to do things but it makes things worse bc they think it is my duty to happily help out and be obedient to all instructions lol. It does become comical and silly once you take a few steps back... I don't have anyone to back me up though since even my older brother and sisters tend to lecture me on how I should love and respect my parents their way due to all the effort they've put into raising me. I totally get that but on the other hand it seems rather manipulative and fear/guilt driven in that you-would-be-dead-by-now-if-it-weren't-for-us kinda way. There's already an inherent power imbalance so no need to start acting like I asked to be born and looked after against anyone's will lol.


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## Tucken

I have an ENFP enneatype 4w3 mother and I get along with her well. Granted, I have _a lot _of patience and I could see how other SJs wouldn't be so understanding. She is very frustrating sometimes. What works for me is to be very clear (and innocent) when she's annoying in a way I can't accept. I accept she is who she is but that's her and I can't live my life that way. 

So IMHO you're likely on one side of the scale and they are on the other. (At least from their POV, you might think you are "neat"). It's ridiculous to let these things get in the way of your relations so you have to do something about it! It's just a matter of perspectives.

Talk about these problems, lay them out on the table. It's so important to bring up the topic, it's really half the game! Basically be clear that you are you and have a different POV than they do. It won't change, you are different from them in certain ways and they must accept it. If they want something done their way, they must do it themselves, it's the only way. 

Your parents believe this "neatness" to be the best way and they want the best for you. They may not understand or acknowledge other ways of living. Yet, that's what they have to do, I think. To always abide the parents rules doesn't work in a family.. My last idea is to put on cinderella and say you feel just like her  Or something graphic like that, it's easier for your parents (anyone) to admit the stephmother (someone else) is bad than to admit they are. 

Oh, and I have my issues with my SJ father. But he's a good father and I've never had much problems with his SJness though that's obviously because I'm the same. I wish you good luck and remember that for an SJ external order is very important. They feel very not in control(stressed) if they don't have it. Actually make a list with issues and talk all of them through, that ought to appeal to them!


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## Frannyy

My dad is an ISFJ and he's the same way- always criticizing me and such because i'm not 'perfect'

all you have to do is just blow up in their face one time and they will back off just let it all out how you are feeling and they will feel horrible and stop (at least that worked on my dad lol- it's actually the only thing that worked for him... I tried talkign to him about it first but he wouldnt listen)... usually with SJs if you blow up at them one time they will get it and stop if it is something they didnt realize they were doing




I always think SJ with SJ would be the worst matching.... I always feel sorry for the kids of those families!! I think one J and one P is a perfect balance... I could never be with another SJ


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## Mina

My dad who raised me is an ISTJ. He is the most wonderful, peaceful, and honest person ever. I seriously could not have asked for a better dad. He is very smart, dependable, and has a good sense of humor. He is so witty! Communication between us was never strong because he is not an open, easy to talk to kind of person. He is more on the quiet side and so am I (i'm very easy to talk to though), but he has always shown us he cares through other ways. Even though i'm a P, my J is very well developed because of my dad. Because of that chores and what not were never really an issue. It's an effort for me to be organized and tidy, it doesn't come natural.. but I have learned that life is a lot easier by being organized. It just feels good living in a clean organized environment, so I definitely put forth the effort and get it done. I'm not super anal about cleaning every little thing every single day, but I hate piles of anything anywhere. Cleaning and organization comes so natural to my dad. He actually enjoys it!

The biggest issue between my dad and I was/is probably me finishing college. I dislike school A LOT. My high school was huge and had sooo many students, it was very hard for me to learn in that kind of environment. It was never 1 on 1 and hardly ever hands on, except for Biology (my favorite subject). I also really hate how extremely structured school is. Instead of my dad understanding these and a few other school related issues, he looks at them like they are excuses. I started working the day after I turned 16 and I loved it, I have been working ever since. I graduated high school early and tried college, but I just can't finish it. My dad will still bring up going back to school. It kind of sucks because it makes me feel like my dad thinks less of me because of it. My brother just graduated with a PhD in May, which i'm extremely happy for him.. he worked a very long time for it and he totally deserves it. Now my dad brings up how if my brother was able to do 7 years I can at least do 4 years. The only difference is, the school environment is perfect for my brother. He enjoyed school so much!! He's the type that doesn't have to study for more than an hour and will get straight A's. Other than the whole school thing, the only time my dad and I bumped heads was when it came to my mom. Lonnng story so I won't get into that. I did go through a body piercing phase and wanted to start it off by getting my tongue and naval pierced when I was around 16 years old. My dad would only let me get as many piercings as I wanted to in my ears. It took me a verrrrrry long time to talk my dad into getting the other two. He said okay, but absolutely no piercings on the outside of my face other than my ears. hahaha. Which actually turned out to be a good thing, because I grew out of that phase years later and i'm happy I don't have a hole in my nose and holes under my lip. That was mostly him just being a dad though, I don't think it had much to do with being an ISTJ. He actually doesn't like tattoos or piercings on anybody though, so maybe it was a little of an ISTJ thing too. My friend who is an ISTJ HATES them too. So when I look back these were the only things that my dad and I ever really disagreed on.

We think very similar and have a lot of the same interests. I can count on my one hand how many times my dad and I have gotten into an argument, and the few arguments we did get into involved my mom. My dad and brother on the other hand.. a somewhat different story haha. I don't know my brothers personality type, I've tried typing him myself but he's one of the harder ones that I've tried to type. I have asked him to take it twice and he said no both times. But in a nutshell, that's pretty much how my dad and I have gotten along. I love him a lot.


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## vel

spook said:


> ...They're even meticulous about clothes not being folded properly, like are you serious? You're going to unfold those clothes when you wear them!!! ARGH!!!!!!!


That sounds to me like a case of very hardcore case of J-ness.

Here is what I did to deal with mine:

1. Learned to go along half of the time, bullshit a quarter, and a quarter just plain refuse. Having a lot of homework helped, because I could usually tell them that I am busy doing it, when I was already done, and since performing well academically is a good thing that got me out of doing a lot of boring stuff.

2. Plan an exit strategy. Best way of finally resolving this problem is moving out and coming to visit them for periods no longer than 2 weeks. This will help you not only gain but also keep your sanity. In the end it is a good thing because otherwise we'd be sitting there dreaming forever. But SJ parents they teach us that we need to pay attention to reality - get a paying job and gtfo. Then you can continue daydreaming on your job :crazy:


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## Staryu

Frannyy said:


> My dad is an ISFJ and he's the same way- always criticizing me and such because i'm not 'perfect'
> 
> all you have to do is just blow up in their face one time and they will back off just let it all out how you are feeling and they will feel horrible and stop (at least that worked on my dad lol- it's actually the only thing that worked for him... I tried talkign to him about it first but he wouldnt listen)... usually with SJs if you blow up at them one time they will get it and stop if it is something they didnt realize they were doing
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I always think SJ with SJ would be the worst matching.... I always feel sorry for the kids of those families!! I think one J and one P is a perfect balance... I could never be with another SJ


I'm INTJ..and both my parents are SJs. they're a bit rigid, too focussed on being "good conservative christians", completely anti-unconventionality(gasp!) etc..but i love them anyway:laughing: growing up though, i did feel inadequate and stupid sometimes due to the constant lecturing of what i SHOULD do and how i SHOULD be and how a "good christian" SHOULD act *yawns* 
as for SJ friends..i have friends that are ISTJ, ESTJ..and that's it for SJ. ESTJ is my best friend. i don't get all this SJ hate..they can be really nice and my friends accept me for who i am and DON'T lecture/criticize.they just tell me to calm down sometimes, which i can totally handle. besides, why would you not want a friend who is responsible, reliable, dependable, helpful..etc..?
there are unhealthy people of all types.
i think SJs are pretty misunderstood on this forum, tbh.


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## niss

You know this is so easy...do what they ask and they'll get off of your back.

Really.

SJs are some of the easiest people to please.

Or, continue to leave stuff undone and butt heads with them and complain about how they don't understand you.:dry:


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## Staryu

niss63 said:


> You know this is so easy...do what they ask and they'll get off of your back.
> 
> Really.
> 
> SJs are some of the easiest people to please.
> 
> Or, continue to leave stuff undone and butt heads with them and complain about how they don't understand you.:dry:


Fair enough, but I dislike following orders.


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## niss

Staryu said:


> Fair enough, but I dislike following orders.


Life is gonna be really difficult then. Someone will always be telling you what to do. There is no escape from this fact of life.


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## Staryu

niss63 said:


> Life is gonna be really difficult then. Someone will always be telling you what to do. There is no escape from this fact of life.


You never know..there just may be a way. Possibly if I go live by myself in the mountains .


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## HandiAce

Sometimes I question my SJness. Considering that I am the youngest in my family with a domineering EXFJ sister and ISFJ mother and ISTJ dad. But even as an SJ, I find my parents frequently get anal about a lot of things and it bothers me. I feel so bad for them for having me under their financial support. I just want to be by myself, on my own so I can keep in touch with my own sanity and do what I feel is right. I am much older now so things are a bit different. I'm learning more and more the need to look after myself and it helps by confidence. 

Nonetheless I consider my parents my closest friends. They may have been overly protective of me and strongly reinforced the idea that everything has a black and white to it, but I got along. Possibly because I would obey for the most part (maybe act passive-aggressive here and there in an attempt to avoid a chore, but I was compliant for the most part if I wasn't too excited). I think anything I did wrong was probably my impulses mostly due to AD/HD taking over at times or refusing to do something because I felt uncomfortable (not confident) doing it. I was a very easy baby to take care of upon my parents' recollection of me and there were probably some responsibilities I handled that reduced conflict between us.

I still don't really get the point of making your bed.... sure it looks nice having the sheets folded up and all, but I'm going to be pulling those covers right back over me at the end of the day...


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## PhillyFox

How did I cope? I moved out. jk! 

But no, I really did move out. Not because of him though. But that's another story for another thread.

Dad is an ISTJ. And he is a neat freak and was always working on something and cleaning. When he told me to do something I usually did it pretty quickly, so I didn't have a lot of problems with him yelling at me if I didn't do something. On the occasion that I did forget or I was just being lazy, he'd endlessly nag me until I did it. Or he'd do it himself, then I'd get pissed because he didn't do it right. Then he'd get pissed because I waited to do it. :crazy:

Fortunately Dad was pretty reasonable with me. If I wanted to try something new, as long as it made sense to him (i.e. a more efficient way to do something) he'd usually agree to it. The only time that the one letter difference would get in the way is when it came to my social life. Young women _should _have a social life, not just sit at home all night. I think he was rather disappointed that I wasn't involved more in extra curricular. He didn't understand that those kinds of things are very stressful for me, and that I'm perfectly content staying in at night when my small group of friends are otherwise busy. 

When we did argue and fight, I didn't really let it bother me that much. When I was younger I was pretty shaken up about it when he'd yell at me or not talk to me for days on end because he was pissed. Unfortunately I didn't have a mom to turn to that would ask him to soften up (like that would work anyway.) After a while I just accepted that's how he does things and I wouldn't take it personally. I'd let him cool off for a few days and then I'd approach him in a calm manner, trying to be as non-confrontational as possible. Ugh, what I hated the most was the shouting matches. It was like one big battle of the egos.


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## dagnytaggart

ESFJ mother, ENTP daughter. Disaster waiting to happen.

Not only do you have all the SJ nitpickiness, obsession with "the right way", etc. You're also expected to be a sensitive, sappy, emotional people-pleaser.


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## Caius20

Staryu said:


> Fair enough, but I dislike following orders.


I don't understand this dislike of following orders. It makes life a lot easier if you follow orders, and climb the social structure until it's you that is giving the orders. There is nothing shameful about it.


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## dagnytaggart

Caius20 said:


> I don't understand this dislike of following orders. It makes life a lot easier if you follow orders, and climb the social structure until it's you that is giving the orders. There is nothing shameful about it.


True. I totally get what you're saying. However, speaking for myself only, I worry about the unpredictability and shortness of life. I could be a good workhorse for 30 years waiting patiently for my day, but something could happen any day. I could get hit by a truck, be diagnosed with a terminal cancer, etc. And then payday never comes. All that quiet labor, sweat and compliance...all for naught. No reward, no real payoff. 

That possibility is horrifying - and not all that unrealistic. So I want to make my day come - NOW. No one else will bring me the opportunities, it's up to me to create a fun and legendary life NOW. So when people slow me down or try to confine me (by issuing rules, orders and commands), of course I'm not going to like it.


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## scarygirl

I'm an INFP with an ISFJ and an ISTJ father.
I will get long with this, a bit, so it helps, or maybe not, but we'll see.
My relationship with my father has been ugly since ever. Some friends of mine says he really has OCDP because he's obsessed with order, perfection, gets extremely angry when those things are not done by his standards, in fact he's an extremely conservative person, he can be very violent, and is a workaholic that fires his workers when they commit a single fail. (I think he did that once. Maybe at last he didn't.)
He's very cold and doesn't reach people's feelings. I really do hate him,
because he's so cold, and so typical, so stupid, so dead. He's fearful of the world and all he wants and dies for is PROTECTION.
Protection from what? sex? that scares him I think...
Well, the best way you can cope is act one way when you are with them, avoid the complicated parts of your relationship, and do your life. You're much better than them so don't feel bad. Don't hate them because that's draining, but stick to your personality, and your convictions over all. They do the same so don't mind.


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## Staryu

Caius20 said:


> I don't understand this dislike of following orders. It makes life a lot easier if you follow orders, and climb the social structure until it's you that is giving the orders. There is nothing shameful about it.


God basically said what i was thinking. there is no real payoff and i absolutely hate to follow orders and rules. i break the rules as i see fit.
"it makes life a lot easier" is not a reasonable excuse. "climbing the social structure" is of no interest to me either. id rather have a hard life in which i work *for myself* or ONLY follow orders that i agree with. in other words, id rather live on 15 K a year but enjoy my job and work for myself rather than one in which i have to put up with following orders that i do not agree with. or the other option would be to get to a point in which im at the highest level in a company/self employed so that i don't have to follow orders, even if i have to do 50 hour workweeks instead of 40.
i may seem like a rebellious child to you, but these are my values and beliefs and i see nothing wrong with them.


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## Caius20

Staryu said:


> God basically said what i was thinking. there is no real payoff and i absolutely hate to follow orders and rules. i break the rules as i see fit.
> "it makes life a lot easier" is not a reasonable excuse. "climbing the social structure" is of no interest to me either. id rather have a hard life in which i work *for myself* or ONLY follow orders that i agree with. in other words, id rather live on 15 K a year but enjoy my job and work for myself rather than one in which i have to put up with following orders that i do not agree with. or the other option would be to get to a point in which im at the highest level in a company/self employed so that i don't have to follow orders, even if i have to do 50 hour workweeks instead of 40.
> i may seem like a rebellious child to you, but these are my values and beliefs and i see nothing wrong with them.


It seems like an inefficient philosophy to me.


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## niss

Nobleheart said:


> Asking why has been one of the quickest ways into an argument with my SJ parents and employers. It seems as if they get so offended by this question because they can't actually answer it with anything other than Si based "that's just the way it is", and are unable to fathom that the rest of us need more than that if we're to do something that has no obvious logical point.
> 
> If they'd bother to explain it (or were capable) in a way that made actual sense other than "I said so" or "because you're supposed to", without flipping out because someone dared to challenge their "authority", they'd get so much more done in life. I've never understood why SJs insist on hitting this wall with people.


Depends on when and how you ask "why." If you approach a problem with another solution in mind, I'm all ears. If you approach a problem by trying to see how much work you can get out of, and don't have a real solution--I don't have time to listen.

As for getting things done--and through other people? I really don't struggle with that at all. Srsly. I can make a half dozen phone calls and I will have 30-40 people mobilized and ready to work in a matter of hours, should the need arise. All volunteer, and all ready to do whatever I direct them to do. I've worked hard to develop this level of trust in the people I know, and I've surrounded myself with the very best of the best. You want it done? I can get it done. Through other people. Willingly.

Until you've tasted the responsibility that comes with serving others, you don't have a clue about authority.:shocked::wink:


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## Nobleheart

niss said:


> Depends on when and how you ask "why." If you approach a problem with another solution in mind, I'm all ears. If you approach a problem by trying to see how much work you can get out of, and don't have a real solution--I don't have time to listen.
> 
> As for getting things done--and through other people? I really don't struggle with that at all. Srsly. I can make a half dozen phone calls and I will have 30-40 people mobilized and ready to work in a matter of hours, should the need arise. All volunteer, and all ready to do whatever I direct them to do. I've worked hard to develop this level of trust in the people I know, and I've surrounded myself with the very best of the best. You want it done? I can get it done. Through other people. Willingly.
> 
> Until you've tasted the responsibility that comes with serving others, you don't have a clue about authority.:shocked::wink:


I'm the Creative Director for a national youth ministry. Before that, I was the IT Coordinator for an entire college. I have also spent many years as a Counselor for youth services, focusing on teens in addiction recovery. I've tasted both responsibility and authority in my many years that I've spent both working for others and running my own freelance business. 

What we're discussing here is a difference of perspective, not a difference of fact. There are many ways to approach the same problem. Your perspective works for you. Mine works for me. However, it's been very clear in my many years of being in the work force that unless an SJ is well developed and balanced, our perspectives on how, why, and when to do things is inevitably going to clash. You're proving that point in these replies. However, I do want to thank you for providing insight as to what causes the clash between myself and the SJ perspective. In as long as I've been clashing with SJs, I've never gotten much of an explanation, and what you're offering here is very valuable to me. Hopefully this insight will help me get along better with SJs in the future - both the well developed and the not so well developed ones.


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## niss

Nobleheart said:


> However, it's been very clear in my many years of being in the work force that *unless an SJ is well developed and balanced*, our perspectives on how, why, and when to do things is inevitably going to clash.



And I guess that is my issue with the conversation---it's not an SJ thing---it's a people thing. Regardless of type, immature and unbalanced people are always a problem in any organization.

Glad to have been of some help.:happy:


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## kiwigrl

spook said:


> ok disclaimer.. I don't think all SJs are like this, my parents are just anal retentive about order and need everything done the "right" way according to an exact schedule which obviously drives me crazy. My dad who's some sort of unhealthy ESxJ also has a volatile temper, and the only reason my mum who's probably an ISFJ stayed with him is bc her patience is a double edged sword, thinking she can change him by staying, thus remaining a miserable doormat for the rest of her life. She always makes excuses for him, like our business isn't going very well, and whenever he doesn't make money, he's inevitably going to be grumpy! Well gee, how am I supposed to react sympathetically, nice to be of service for letting you take it out on me every time that happens?
> 
> It seems all they ever do is criticise me for being lazy and incompetent, and this actually takes quite a toll on my self-esteem as much as I try to detach afterwards. Granted, sometimes I'm slacking on the household chores, I'm trying to put more effort in to get them off my back, but today after I forgot to take in the washing, my dad went off at me like you wouldn't imagine over something so petty! I never understood why parents feel the need to be so fussy over their kids' living space being a little messy.. they think sloppy organisation is a reflection on my whole competence and independence as a person. It's like the warped logic you hear about people who drop out of school/college being a reflection of their commitment in relationships, well my parents think no one could possibly respect me for living in my head and not being practical enough. They're even meticulous about clothes not being folded properly, like are you serious? You're going to unfold those clothes when you wear them!!! ARGH!!!!!!! (disgusted with myself for having such genes). I just calmed down from a huge screaming fight with them and although it would be ideal for me to move out, that option isn't practical as I'm still financially dependent on them. ): Any tips on how to cope? It seems the only compromise they'll except is ABIDE BY OUR RULES OR YOU ARE DISRESPECTFUL AND USELESS. </rant>
> 
> I'm also curious if you are an SJ, how well did you get along with your SJ and/or intuitive parents?


My father was an ISTJ and my husband is an ISFJ. 

My father was extremely anal retentive and critical about how things had to be done. If you respected his need for that order then he was fine. Of course I disappointed him on occasion as is natural with this kind of anal retentive behaviour.

With my ISFJ husband, I occasionally don't live up to his expectations either and he will go off at me. To which I reply that I won't always have things the way he likes it but this is something he will have to be understanding of. I am not perfect and besides which I have my own ideas of how things should be done too, some of which he fails at. I have begun to take things with a grain of salt in some circumstances when I think it really doesn't matter and he should just chill out. Other times I see that he has a good point and am willing to change things. 

I don't know... these SJ types are so flippin stubborn that it's hard to get through to them, you have to chip away at them a little bit at a time, and try to be patient in the mean time.

Oh and btw, as an ENFJ I am intolerant of some kinds of mess too. I think that is a parent thing rather than a SJ thing. I am perfectionistic when it comes to folding washing too (can't help it, sorry), though having said that I have always abhorred ironing and will try to avoid it like the plague lol. Maybe it is a subconscious rebellion towards my mum for her obsession with ironing absolutely everything when I was a kid, and making me participate. For the same reason I abhor cleaning the bathroom because she always made me go back and re-do it to her satisfaction, however I can not avoid the bathroom can I?


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## raptured asylum

I would most likely say that my mother is an ESFJ. She is just overreactive to the point where i think she is just faking it.


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## Planisphere

Well, I have a serious ISFJ mother, but at times, I've been able to trust her to help me when I need it. She isn't as overbearing as some mothers I've known, but when she does get in a bad mood, you know something has to be done as soon as she says it. It still bothers me today when she gets that way, but I've learned to just wait her mood out, then make a swift getaway after finishing the tasks she gave me.

Maybe looking at things from the perspective of the parent will help? I've found the ability to put myself in others' shoes and think like them (even for just a moment) to be highly rewarding and useful in almost any situation dealing with my mother. My father seems to be an ISTP, but I've had few issues with him. We don't share much in terms of interests, but we generally give each other space. Still, I ironically feel a little more comfortable working through problems with him, especially impersonal problems.


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## At_the_Meadows

Parenting Styles to a fault:

SJs - Their rigidness and coercion will make you want to question if they really love you, or just love the control factor. 
SPs - They will probably runaway from being a parent and a responsible figure, and blame it all on the other partner for not 
understanding that they love having multiple partners. "Whatever goes, man"
NFs - They will be manipulative and controlling with every personal relationship you have. They'll also have a major grudge against 
you if you hurt their feelings.
NTs - They will put their careers or their thirst for knowledge first, family second. Oh, and you're weak if you're a feeling type. Obviously, you're not gonna solve climate change if you start crying about the polar bears. Also, if you are an S type, you're gonna be so slow compared to us geniuses. SPs are too lazy for world domination.

Am I stepping on any toes here? lol


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## Owfin

At_the_Meadows said:


> Am I stepping on any toes here? lol


If it's a joke, I'd say you did A+. If it's serious, you get an F-.


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