# Why are people on the internet so damn depressed?



## Arzazar Szubrasznikarazar (Apr 9, 2015)

Wtpmjgda said:


> One of the common problem of this depression is because of internet addiction. Internet addiction come through stages. ill explain the stage
> 
> 
> *Pre-internet life*
> ...


I used to be absolutely miserable in high school before the internet because I didn't have as much contact with cool people as needed and often the cool people I knew would want to do mostly uncool stuff.
The ones who invited additional unwanted people and start doing uncool stuff instead of continuing to do cool stuff were the worst.


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## StarFollowed (May 5, 2014)

> Not sure if I appreciate condescending sentiments like that. They really don't work.



First, I didn't mean to sound that way. So sorry if it came across that way. What I am tired of seeing, and what my sentence is geared toward, are people who don't do anything for their depression when they should. People who are stubborn and would complain about the world being unfair and whatnot when they should spend more time doing more productive things or writing in a journal.

Second, they have worked for me personally and have helped many people. It all depends on treatment planning, and attending group therapy may be more beneficial.


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## Doc Dangerstein (Mar 8, 2013)

StarFollowed said:


> First, I didn't mean to sound that way. So sorry if it came across that way. What I am tired of seeing, and what my sentence is geared toward, are people who don't do anything for their depression when they should. *People who are stubborn and would complain about the world being unfair and whatnot when they should spend more time doing more productive things or writing in a journal.*


... What?!? No offence taken. 

Agree with this 100%. I see this trend with people I speak online and in person. They have come to identify with their problems because having problems fills an emotional need. If they didn't keep their issues alive they could lose all sense of self because they have nothing else going on in their lives, or the problems provide a means to solicit sympathy from others. 

There are members I have spoken to on this forum who I believe collect disorders. Many people are led to believe that ruminating and reliving the experience is identical to working through and understanding the experience. It's not.



> Second, they have worked for me personally and have helped many people. It all depends on treatment planning, and attending group therapy may be more beneficial.


So long as the therapist respects you, your individuality and doesn't try to mould you into his vision of the social ideal. On that note, are you familiar with the work of Jonathan Haidt? I wish we had somebody like him to shake up the many detrimental trends in mental health. You're trusting someone to work with your fundamental beliefs, be intelligent and intelligently scpetical in choosing somebody.


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## ai.tran.75 (Feb 26, 2014)

I'm quite content - think it depends on the age group of those who are on the Internet ...they need to get out more I suppose - I mean I'm on this site all the time bc I have tapa talk so it's on my phone to check every now and then - but it's rare for me to ever be in front of a computer .
However my experience with interacting with individual I've met online has always been amusing - I get to meet pretty cool people from different states and countries and they actually enjoy talking about cognitive function ( something nobody I know irl enjoys )

But back on subject - i do notice what you're talking about - perhaps its easier for lonely people to complain on an online forum bc nobody can really judge or hurt them 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## StarFollowed (May 5, 2014)

Doc Dangerstein said:


> ... What?!? No offence taken.
> 
> Agree with this 100%. I see this trend with people I speak online and in person. They have come to identify with their problems because having problems fills an emotional need. If they didn't keep their issues alive they could lose all sense of self because they have nothing else going on in their lives, or the problems provide a means to solicit sympathy from others.
> 
> There are members I have spoken to on this forum who I believe collect disorders. *Many people are led to believe that ruminating and reliving the experience is identical to working through and understanding the experience. It's not.*


That's exactly what I've noticed too. I think you've managed to put what I was aiming towards in better words. So thank you for that.





> So long as the therapist respects you, your individuality and doesn't try to mould you into his vision of the social ideal. On that note, are you familiar with the work of Jonathan Haidt? I wish we had somebody like him to shake up the many detrimental trends in mental health. You're trusting someone to work with your fundamental beliefs, be intelligent and intelligently scpetical in choosing somebody.


That I can agree with, and that's why I like group therapy so much and not CBT because of their attempt to change what makes you the person you are. Personally I prefer group therapy since it's like talking with a friend and you're not given too much advice. Others perception helps too.

I haven't heard of Haidt before. I'll have to look him up. Thanks again.


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## Doc Dangerstein (Mar 8, 2013)

... fascinating, because when you do CBT right there is no attempt to change the individual’s personality. Unlike Freudian psychoanalysis that requires the patient to submit to the therapist, CBT requires the patient to come to his own conclusions. CBT is a system of intelligent skepticism, Socratic questioning, mindfulness, NLP and creative visualization and learning how to expand your perceptions. Essentially, applied Stoicism/Buddhism with mental rehearsals. 

I have recommended Aaron T. Beck and Albert Ellis in the ENFP forum and never have I found their writings to be intrusive. Ellis is hilarious, he's quite fun. You have to be remarkably intelligent and versatile to do CBT well. Most people, therapists included, are not. I don't claim to be either.

Sometimes therapists borrow Freudian ideas and incorporate them into CBT. The patient learns to become afraid of his subconscious. Other times therapists fail to realize that there might be valid reasons to feel sad or anxious and leave the patient to harbour a false belief that is it abnormal to feel negative emotions.

... anyhoo, there are reasons why I’m touchy about people telling me what to like, what to think or feel and what to do. Perhaps I’m overcompensating right now. I don't know.


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## vimalahot (May 2, 2014)

Depression/mental illness doesn't exist.


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## Laze (Feb 19, 2015)

vimalahot said:


> Depression/mental illness doesn't exist.


I'd more say that depression does exist but isn't an illness. How can you say that depression doesn't exist when it's fairly obvious we can and do experience low moods and feelings?


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## vimalahot (May 2, 2014)

Laze said:


> I'd more say that depression does exist but isn't an illness. How can you say that depression doesn't exist when it's fairly obvious we can and do experience low moods and feelings?


most of mental illness is made up???


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## MisterPerfect (Nov 20, 2015)

IntellectualCat said:


> Depression is already common in real life, but a lot of depressed people are worried about being judged if they talk about their issued (which is exacerbated by the low self-esteem that depression often causes). However, the anonymity of being on the internet makes it easier to talk about those issues.


This is another thing which rings true.


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## Clyme (Jul 17, 2014)

StarFollowed said:


> Why? Why are people on the internet depressed as hell? Depression is common, yes, but nearly everyone I've talked to is/was depressed and has/have suicidal thoughts. Why?
> 
> 
> Please get antidepressants/good friends/therapy. They work.


Are people on the internet depressed? How can you know? I don't think you can actually get a full picture of what the conditions of the people on this forum are like, let alone the whole internet. Maybe you're thinking this because it's just more visible on the internet. How would you really know if people around you were depressed? Maybe it's also that you interact with more people on the internet in a personal way than you do in your offline life. Maybe it's that people who are depressed spend more time online. Clearly, depressed people are both online and offline; they're merely spending their time between the two. So, I don't really see any reasonable basis for your assumption about people on the internet.

Also, I would like to note that depression is a complex issue and it can be quite a lengthy journey to recovery. If it those things were readily-accessible to people who were depressed and it was just a matter of doing that like a bullet-pill, I doubt we'd have depression in our society except in extremely rare instances. Antidepressants are expensive depending on where you live in the world, and they also only treat symptoms and not underlying causes. Some people are apprehensive toward antidepressants and, furthermore, they antidepressants also have a whole range of side-effects. Depression both can come from and cause social isolation, so it's not so easy to get "good friends." Having a lack of support can often create the circumstances for depression and depression in general can induce withdrawal. As for therapy, there are different kinds of therapy and, ignoring the matter of expenses once more, it varies in its effectiveness for different people. Going to therapy can be embarrassing. Some people have enough trouble as it is opening up to people they already are close to and the idea of confessing their problems to a stranger can be really nerve-racking. There's also the matter of finding a therapist that you have a good rapport with. Just to get into therapy programs, if you go the public route, can take months or years. Finding a therapist who you feel understands you and who you trust can take even longer. All this goes to demonstrate that it's not just a matter of "please get X ... they work." Depression, like any other mental condition, is complex and takes lots of work to get through.

Edit: Also, by your tone, it does sound like you're frustrated with seeing people speak about their depression. If you don't want to be around it, don't take part. Nobody is forcing you to read those sorts of things. Everybody should have a safe place to speak their mind, so it's not fair to be frustrated with them for being open. Instead, if you don't like it, then find people who aren't depression or visit parts of the forum which are more positive.


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

I don't have a problem with people who are depressed.

I have a problem with people who are anti-meaning. The ones who try to post threads about how life has no meaning, and they logically dissect it all, ending with awkward and unrealistic conclusions that only make sense because they're engaging with like minded people on the internet.

Like... pick a flower and watch the sunset or something. Goodness. At least depressed people so desperately crave to find meaning in their life. These other people have convinced themselves (and are ironically trying to convince others) that there's no purpose in anything via their twisted philosophy.


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## vimalahot (May 2, 2014)

Laze said:


> I'd more say that depression does exist but isn't an illness. How can you say that depression doesn't exist when it's fairly obvious we can and do experience low moods and feelings?


There is to say who is mentally or not. are you? I? it's purely subjective at best.


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## Red Panda (Aug 18, 2010)

Laze said:


> I'd more say that depression does exist but isn't an illness. How can you say that depression doesn't exist when it's fairly obvious we can and do experience low moods and feelings?


Having been through major depression and recovered, I can say that it is similar to illness. Your body is basically malfunctioning (on many levels) when you are depressed. It's not simply a low mood and sadness, it's much more to that.
Of course, I agree with your point that mental illness does exist and @vimalahot is saying something ludicrous.


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## Laze (Feb 19, 2015)

Red Panda said:


> Having been through major depression and recovered, I can say that it is similar to illness. Your body is basically malfunctioning (on many levels) when you are depressed. It's not simply a low mood and sadness, it's much more to that.
> Of course, I agree with your point that mental illness does exist and @vimalahot is saying something ludicrous.


Well I am going through a lot of depression right now but due to my circumstances and what's happened I feel that it's valid to feel this depression. It's like, unless there is no socially logical reason to feel depressed yet you do experience the symptoms of depression, then I'd say that particular situation is an illness, as it makes no sense for your brain to be producing the physical effects of depression for no logical reason. To me, depression is an emotion that serves the purpose of letting me know something isn't right with my life, and until I fix said problem will not go away. Then again what defines a 'problem' is arbitrary. I suppose if you don't really care about anything passionately then you will never experience depression, at least depression that isn't your brain malfunctioning, but that isn't actually depression like I said.


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

Are they ? I don't spend a lot of time on social media so I wouldn't really know. I'm assuming depressed people need an outlet so they seek the Internet to find other depressed people ? I don't know that for a fact, it just makes sense to me.

What people don't realize is the more time they spend online the more depressing life becomes. I say this because I was there once, the Internet actually depressed me rather than excited me. I don't give much consideration to what others are doing on a daily bases, nor do I want to know what is happening around the world, much of both are depressing. The paradox to that is I'm an Information/data whore, I really do wantt to know because I don't want to be left out 1. and 2. I want to be prepared encase the topic comes up. ( typical of FPs to want to know a bit about everything , the good, bad and ugly )

In my humble opinion people can get hurt a lot more on line than in reality. There is more bullying, fat shaming, negative behaviour overall, skewed opinions and Incorrect Information, ugly thoughts in general online than in real life. Trolls come out of the woodwork to purposely make the lives of other people miserable, virtual reality is a playground for sociopaths +++ so I don't really understand why people who are feeling down depend so much time in a virtual world looking for relief, or help, the reality is a lot of the time it is doing the opposite and they are not observant enough to be self aware.


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## vimalahot (May 2, 2014)

Red Panda said:


> Having been through major depression and recovered, I can say that it is similar to illness. Your body is basically malfunctioning (on many levels) when you are depressed. It's not simply a low mood and sadness, it's much more to that.
> Of course, I agree with your point that mental illness does exist and @vimalahot is saying something ludicrous.


i state there is no way to tell if a person is or not ill.


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## Red Panda (Aug 18, 2010)

vimalahot said:


> i state there is no way to tell if a person is or not ill.


Of course there is. A general rule in psychology is that mental illness exists when the person cannot function the way they want to/did before. For example a symptom of depression is when you stop enjoying the things you did before and that's usually noticeable and distresses the person even more. Please educate yourself more on the matter before you go around saying things like that.


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## vimalahot (May 2, 2014)

sorry, others can say "ignorant" things, so can I. it's called being human.


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## 45130 (Aug 26, 2012)

Sporadic Aura said:


> I've seen research that suggests prolonged internet use decreases happiness.
> 
> A longitudinal study of the association between Compulsive Internet use and wellbeing





MBTI said:


> It's less "people on the Internet are depressed" and more "depressed people are on the Internet" in my opinion.
> 
> Depression can cause people to withdraw into themselves. The Internet can make this a little easier, as you can simulate 1-on-1 interactions with things like forums, e-mail, and texting. The internet is an attractive thought to many kinds of social pariahs. You can put on a mask and be anyone who you want.


I can attest to both, actually. Read on if you want to know how.

* *





Gaming, and later the internet, took hold of me when my social life turned to smoke and ruins due to my and my parent's fateful decision to let me skip a year in school. What happened is that I realized from the first game I played that I was going to get addicted, I was frightened by my own realization after I closed the game for the first time. Here was a child experiencing daily torment at school, having his confidence ripped to shreds, arriving home to a neurotic pseudo-Asian dad that would start doubting his potential to succeed at anything in life whenever he got less than an A, isolated due to a (temporary but recurring) family feud that cut him off from his cousins and alienated from his own friends because they somehow believed the ugly rumours that were being spread about him. The terror of the schoolyard eventually spread to my own neighborhood and I started becoming afraid to go outside, empowered by my mother's and the Turkish community's delusional thought that somehow merely _playing outside_ were a ticket to a life of crime all by itself.

But here it was. A fast-paced realtime strategy game. I didn't need to go outside anymore. Boredom didn't drive me out anymore. I could let my intellect loose on this. Soon I started modding the game. I could create fantasy worlds and entire military factions... As a young child I used to make impressive Lego models and show them off to my friends who were all into that stuff too. I didn't need to show anybody IRL my mods, because there was a web community for that. See where I'm going? As the shitty rumours and nasty treatment entered common consciousness of the school where I was in, I didn't want anything to do with anybody there anymore. At home I found solace. Gaming, at that time, was simply the ONLY thing left that brought me any joy. And all my other choices were depleted.

Nobody around me understood this problem and just told me to curb how much time I spent online. As I moved on to middle school with newly acquired social anxiety, I didn't know anybody around me and just went home straight away. School wasn't fun because I didn't dare initiate interaction with people; online there were people very eager to interact. And if I made a mistake when interacting with anybody, the damage would not spread so vehemently as it did in real life. The internet was an accessible social sandbox. It seriously prolonged my recovery because I spent the next four years in isolation for the above reasons, while there was no real threat outside anymore. I was also unkempt and had underdeveloped social skills due to the years spent online, which deterred most people from me. 

So far I've described how the internet seized me in my darkest hour. You could also infer that it kept me from overcoming depression because I wasn't pushed to socialize or to overcome any stressors; I got everything I needed from a fricken computer screen right when I was so desperate for any enjoyment in life. I need not even mention the horrendous vitamin D deficiency I developed from that, over the years. And the lack of exercise keeping me frail and sickly. The terrible sleep deficiency I developed because :timezones:. And the addiction ruining many of my efforts to excel when high effort was demanded, not just swift intellect. I failed things such as advanced classical piano class and honours courses at school because of that. 

CAVEAT. You may be thinking I'm overgeneralizing or going on a pity fest here. No. Over the years I've heard the whereabouts of some former classmates who underwent the same hell as I did. One was bullied before I was, and probably after me too. Socially isolated, gamer, dropped out of school apparently... The other was one of my former friends. He was victimized after I was. He was singled out, beaten up and filmed, excluded and isolated. When I visited him two years ago I found out he had also become an excessive internetgoer, a game modder in fact. What else should he have done with his time? Don't tell me he should've gone outside and hung out with his friends from school, or he should've fought off his bullies. He couldn't. His situation was worse than mine, his torment lasted over five years where mine lasted less than half of that, he was in a large high school where racism was tolerated and perpetrated by the teachers as well as the kids. I see him shaking of fear in the extremely rare occasions that I see him outside. I seriously owe him help and I regret that I didn't do it yet...

The internet can also make preexisting depression worse. There have been two periods where I experienced what I'd call the *hugbox phenomenon*. One was with an online friend, the other with an online community, the latter right here on PerC, during my early days here. Conversation was mildly entertaining but humongous attention was directed to whoever had yet another depressive outburst or disappointment in life. literally half of the time they were consoling one another, including me. When social interaction revolves so much around negative events (and low-quality rationalizations that are supposed to make everything good again) your attention starts to shift towards whatever negative thing occurs in your life. And when such a thing happens, you start using the disfunctional rationalizations that you were told to use by people who want to help but really can't. It's kindof crippling and will lead you right back to them instead of coping. 
I was cut off from this person and later this online community due to random events and saw improvement. When I came back there was nothing to talk about anymore because I wasn't depressed. Some others still were, and they only got better when they left the community completely and had a very good look at themselves in their pit of despair.



tl;dr The web lures you in when you're weak, keeps you dependent and cuts off any connections to the outside you may still have remaining.


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## Psychophant (Nov 29, 2013)

Because life sucks then you die. You didn't get the memo?


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## Miss Bingley (Jun 28, 2013)

I think in general, people who are depressed or unhappy with their life tend to retreat into the internet.


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## Bluehealer (Feb 3, 2015)

I've done this myself. However, I rarely complain or have a pitty party. Some blogs are nothing more than a big pity party. It makes the blog owner feel important to have people expending energy to help them. I've actually tried to help a few Tumblr bloggers, but they don't want it. They want to wallow in self pity. Unfortunately many young people are drawn into a downward spiral by the constant negativity. 

That being said, I spend a lot of time on the internet in search of positive things. And learning. Being on the internet allows me to think through and edit my words. In person I see and do nutty things because when I'm depressed and on anti depressants I have a difficult time editing my words, so I blurt out whatever is in my head at the moment. Even when a part of my mind is aware that I'm going down the wrong road I want to finish my thought. I also make random very negative statements in person that I don't when I'm typing. 

Psychology related websites are going to attract people who have problems and are looking for answers. I suggest staying away from negative people if it affects you. Actually the internet is full of positivity if you are attuned to it.


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## hauntology (Feb 12, 2012)

Rage Kage said:


> I can attest to both, actually. Read on if you want to know how.
> 
> * *
> 
> ...


why did I receive a mention for this?


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