# I Can't Stand Kids: An NT Problem? Or Is It Just Me?



## Fern (Sep 2, 2012)

When I get around kids, honestly... it's like I turn into an INFP or something  They bring out that side of me, I suppose. I see them as adults that just haven't been around for very long yet and I learn a lot from them.

_Jr-highers_ are the ones I can have trouble with. I feel constantly judged by the more catty girls (I'm not _that _much older than them, really). You know the kind: the ones that I had trouble with when I was _actually _in jr high? :/

Oh, and don't even get me started on the "eye-rollers"--_any _age, too. My age... Older... Agh -_- It's a learned habit that reflects a horrible attitude.

* I tutor/babysit/mentor, etc., so these are the experiences I speak from.


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## justintroverted (Oct 24, 2012)

I am not what one would call 'child friendly'. I do not like children, but what bothers me more are lousy parents who do not take care of or discipline their children. I'm not sure if this is just an NT thing.


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## namiki (Nov 13, 2010)

Phantomhive said:


> Also to add to this thread, I really like asking kids questions and listening to their point of view on things. Not only that but I also try to listen to the specific manner in which they speak and compare it to how other people talk. (transitional words, peculiar vocabulary choice, body language). I think that kids can teach people a lot but I think it's more from being around the kid as a whole than what the kid says. Throw any new component into an environment and you'll learn something from it. That's just how life works.


Oh hey! This is a really interesting way of thinking about it. 

I don't mind kids, sometimes, and I really dislike them at other points. It probably depends on the kid. And I do have a limit as to how long I can spend with them before I start getting irritated. I'm never going to be a pre-school teacher, but I do find being around children can be an interesting/ learning experience. 

At times, they can be less tiring than being around adults too. Less intriguing, but curious to poke at in their own way. They're also quite a lot of fun to bait sometimes (but then so are some adults  ).

On an unrelated point, my sister's an INFP and hates kids and being around kids.


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## Tea Path (Sep 5, 2012)

Phantomhive said:


> I really can't stand kids. They're nice to look at for a few minutes and some are interesting to talk to but almost always after a maximum of ten minutes I'm done with them. Time to move on. Time to talk to someone who can hold up a decent conversation. Obviously kids are less developed and aren't as good at rhetoric but I can't bring myself to cut them much slack. It's better for me to isolate myself when they're around to avoid upsetting them and offending their parents.
> 
> Does anyone else feel this way? Am I being heartless? Am I justified in my feelings of annoyance for children's gibberish and over-excitement? Is there any way to tell if type has anything to do with this? Helllllppppppppp


It's just you, not your type. Or your age and maturity level. Or, finally, deficient oxytocin. I highly recommend that little hormone. Nice fuzzies.

Personality page:  INTPs enjoy parenting, and get a lot of fun out of their children. They're also likely to be very proud and loyal parents.


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## Tea Path (Sep 5, 2012)

oh, for the record. I like kids. their honest, straightforward, non-BSing and easy to talk to.


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## JamesDowns (Sep 26, 2012)

But there is just so much logic behind not having kids.


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## Tea Path (Sep 5, 2012)

JamesDowns said:


> But there is just so much logic behind not having kids.


Bring it.


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## JamesDowns (Sep 26, 2012)

Tea Path said:


> Bring it.


I am really going to enjoy this.

-The time and money spent on having kids could be spent in other ways that could bring the couple happiness i.e. travel and new experiences

-You may very well end up having a kid that absolutely hates you(My older brother hates my father and it is very sad to see it happen. My dad is a good guy and I love him.)

-Your efforts trying to raise a child may fail and you may not understand your kid

-Your only return is getting someone to help you when you get older and even then its a gamble as your kid may hate you.

-The love that MIGHT happen could easily be replaced by love from someone that can actually form logical thoughts and sentences like your spouse and you would already have a connection there and would be easier.

-Your life isn't as limited meaning that you have more opportunities and more freedom in general to do what you want i.e. you could leave the house in the middle of the night without having to worry about what might happen or you could escape on any given weekend without much planning


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## Tea Path (Sep 5, 2012)

I thought about all of this before my INTJ hubby and I had one.

1 word: selfishness. I wan to perpetuate my genetic material.

Other words: endogenous drug highs: totally legal and pretty damned good.
delicious baby hugs. 
Sharing in the magic of the new every day.
Learning about yourself.

I would argue that there is logic to both. I don't disagree with your premise, but there are other benefits.


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## JamesDowns (Sep 26, 2012)

Tea Path said:


> I thought about all of this before my INTJ hubby and I had one.
> 
> 1 word: selfishness. I wan to perpetuate my genetic material.* I don't see how this would benefit me.*
> 
> ...


I just don't understand you people. I am currently trying to argue with an ENTP friend on the same matter and he just flat out said that logic cannot be applied.


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## Tea Path (Sep 5, 2012)

JamesDowns said:


> I just don't understand you people. I am currently trying to argue with an ENTP friend on the same matter and he just flat out said that logic cannot be applied.


Eh, ce la vie. I know it's like nothing I've ever experience before. I was trepidacious (yeah, misspelled, don't care enough to find the correct one), but it's rewarding. I only pray he's not emotional, or he's likely to be wrecked with us two as parents.

I do think there is a great deal of evidence regarding biological imperatives and hormonal effects on brain chemistry. there's logic, but it's neurochemical and hormonal. Also, that whole evolution thing require procreation. for the species, it's beneficial. If an individual here or there doesn't procreate, no worries, as long as others are.


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## JamesDowns (Sep 26, 2012)

Tea Path said:


> Eh, ce la vie. I know it's like nothing I've ever experience before. I was trepidacious (yeah, misspelled, don't care enough to find the correct one), but it's rewarding. I only pray he's not emotional, or he's likely to be wrecked with us two as parents.
> 
> I do think there is a great deal of evidence regarding biological imperatives and hormonal effects on brain chemistry. there's logic, but it's neurochemical and hormonal. Also, that whole evolution thing require procreation. for the species, it's beneficial. If an individual here or there doesn't procreate, no worries, as long as others are.


I'm not worried about evolution or population as there are others that will do plenty of that. We could honestly take a population decrease.

I do have to concede that having kids is valid despite my undying dislike for not being able to call it logical.


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## Tea Path (Sep 5, 2012)

but, if we have a population decrease, the roaches will take over finally! ;-) 
Evolution doesn't care about overpopulation. We should, however.


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## Persephone (Nov 14, 2009)

Eh. I don't hate kids but they're not my thing. Best keep them away from me. They have short attention spans, not enough life experience for deep conversation, and can utterly spaz out about the most insignificant things. They lack self control and consideration for others. For both our sanities keep children away from me. I'd bore them to death and they'd scare me to death. Yes. I'm afraid of them. So sue me.


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## fewfoundglory (Dec 31, 2012)

I don't have much experience with children, so my say probably isn't as great, but I know from my little experience, I don't like them. They make me feel awkward, I can totally get down to their level mentally, but I just feel weird doing so. I don't like people around me when I do that, and they say children don't judge, the hell they will. I don't care what anyone says, they're gross and sticky and too naive for me. I like old people better.


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## ENTPreneur (Dec 13, 2009)

I love to be around kids. The feeling seem to be mutual. Just got me no 2 as well. Loving every minute.


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## gammagon (Aug 8, 2012)

I like them when they aren't brats and aren't mean to me, I'm not around them enough to determine thoroughly though.


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

Phantomhive said:


> I really can't stand kids. They're nice to look at for a few minutes and some are interesting to talk to but almost always after a maximum of ten minutes I'm done with them. Time to move on. Time to talk to someone who can hold up a decent conversation. Obviously kids are less developed and aren't as good at rhetoric but I can't bring myself to cut them much slack. It's better for me to isolate myself when they're around to avoid upsetting them and offending their parents.
> 
> Does anyone else feel this way? Am I being heartless? Am I justified in my feelings of annoyance for children's gibberish and over-excitement? Is there any way to tell if type has anything to do with this? Helllllppppppppp


I did better with my kids when they got older, because I like to discuss things more deeply and have a back-and-forth conversation with some complexity. I still enjoyed my kids when young -- they were pretty funny, and I liked having the opportunity to watch them grow and change and observe that process, and of course they were my kids -- but otherwise I was never really sure how to interact with kids until I had some of my own, and I would get quickly bored as you describe. 

They also could be loud, and I'm sensitive to stimulation, so I could find myself drained/irritated within a short period of time if they were wild and all over the place.

Hopefully any parents you have to deal with are sensitive to the realities of kids and wouldn't feel bad if you excused yourself early, after making a brief effort. It's not everyone's cup of tea. Again, though, exposure and experience can help give you some more tools by which to deal and maybe even benefit....



JamesDowns said:


> I just don't understand you people. I am currently trying to argue with an ENTP friend on the same matter and he just flat out said that logic cannot be applied.


Lol. That is because not everything we feel or experience is "logical." Even your bent towards impersonal logic is not a "choice" you made, you just "feel" instinctively that that is the "right" way to approach situations.


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

Nope, I love kids. I feel weird around them sometimes because I'm not sure whether I want to have kids of my own, but I'm very good around children and have a very strong maternal instinct. I think this is more of a hormonal difference: some people have more bonding hormones than others.


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## intpjunkie (Mar 10, 2013)

Phantomhive said:


> I really can't stand kids. They're nice to look at for a few minutes and some are interesting to talk to but almost always after a maximum of ten minutes I'm done with them. Time to move on. Time to talk to someone who can hold up a decent conversation. Obviously kids are less developed and aren't as good at rhetoric but I can't bring myself to cut them much slack. It's better for me to isolate myself when they're around to avoid upsetting them and offending their parents.
> 
> Does anyone else feel this way? Am I being heartless? Am I justified in my feelings of annoyance for children's gibberish and over-excitement? Is there any way to tell if type has anything to do with this? Helllllppppppppp


I can't stand kids either. I think this is an NT thing. I have known from an early age that I dislike children and the idea of having them myself. I am a logical and rational person. To me there is no logical reason for having kids. Waste of money and time. No thanks.


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## shadowjasmine (Apr 19, 2013)

Not sure if it's just kids but just like really immature people who lack common sense


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## Archetype (Mar 17, 2011)

Definetly NT's problem. NT's reasoning function seems useless with children. I find the only way to connect (more like control ) with children is by scaring them with lies.


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