# Things You Wish Your Parents Did Differently



## Maiko_Hima (Jul 12, 2015)

I think they did fine and we lived in some pretty bad situations.
I'll never forget the day at 18 years old that my mother told me the truth about one time we moved when I was in 5th grade.
We were actually about to be robbed by the neighbors and she had heard through the grapevine by a charitable soul (the thieves' cook) that we were going to be robbed. I am not sure but there could have been weapons involved. We left the house in about 4 hours. She told us then that she found a new house that was way better and had kept it a surprise.


Thank you so much mom.


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## sez_mckez (May 7, 2015)

Maiko_Hima said:


> I think they did fine and we lived in some pretty bad situations.
> I'll never forget the day at 18 years old that my mother told me the truth about one time we moved when I was in 5th grade.
> We were actually about to be robbed by the neighbors and she had heard through the grapevine by a charitable soul (the thieves' cook) that we were going to be robbed. I am not sure but there could have been weapons involved. We left the house in about 4 hours. She told us then that she found a new house that was way better and had kept it a surprise.
> 
> ...


Wow that's pretty amazing of her during a very challenging time.


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## starscream430 (Jan 14, 2014)

In regards to your upbringing, OP, I do feel sorry concerning your situation. I'm from a Christian household as well, but my parents were more liberal in regards to our faith...mostly because they did notice that a lot of the "holy" people in our church were scumbag hypocrites :dry:. In regards to overly strict Christian households, might as well stick your children in a glass fish bowl since that's how much you want them exposed to the world :dry:.

For me, I actually do appreciate my upbringing my parents gave me. This may sound strange, but I wish they didn't let me explore myself academically so much. Personally, my biggest academic loves are history and politics, but these two subjects are not very financially profitable in the real world. Unlike other Asian household kids, I became the writing whiz than the math /science nerd...and that's partly due to my more "explore what you will" style of academia since I digested lots of reading and History Channel in my youth. I kinda wish they pigeon-holed me more in the science / math realm so I could at least feign an interest in those subjects to make a profitable career .


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## grassafue (Mar 20, 2014)

I wish they never hit me or made me swallow soap for talking too much and asking too many questions. It just occurred to me they are the reason Im so dysfunctional


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## Noctis (Apr 4, 2012)

I wish my brother wasn't treated as the "golden child" by my mom and was strictly punished for his rudeness towards me by my dad

I wish my dad wasn't so harsh on me due to my ADD issues as a kid and didn't resort to being condescending, authoritarian and brusque. I wish he wasn't so hard-headed in regards to my academics and took interest in helping me doing well in martial arts and balancing academics with my martial arts. I also wish he wasn't so into outside work and carpentry was more into taking me and my brother to the beach and other vacation places with my mom and took life much more easier and was more laid back. 

I wish my mom was strict/no nonsense rather than trying to play the part of the friend, rather than the parent. I wish he (my dad) tried to actually take interest in getting to know me as a person, rather than trying to make me be like him as far as interests and hobbies go. I wish he came to family vacations when I was younger, and had a positive, upbeat and friendly demeanor rather than acting like the stereotype of a grumpy old man/emotionally absent father stereotype. 

I wished my dad and mom spanked me and my brother when we were being insolent, rude and misbehaving


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## Lelu (Jun 1, 2015)

I just wanted to do two things:

Play drums.
Learn a martial art.

They did not do either because some dumbass doctor said I would likely prefer classical instruments and mental stimulation from books to nurture a high IQ. I hate both of those things unless they provide something useful. Needless to say, my parents did not listen to me.


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## sez_mckez (May 7, 2015)

starscream430 said:


> In regards to overly strict Christian households, might as well stick your children in a glass fish bowl since that's how much you want them exposed to the world


Yeah that's the perfect analogy. _And be not conformed to this world!_ Don't experience the world because you'll get damaged! I understand their reasoning but never agreed to it and still don't! In the end they did the best they could.

How would you have felt if your parents made you study something you didn't like though?


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## sez_mckez (May 7, 2015)

Lelu said:


> I just wanted to do two things:
> 
> Play drums.
> Learn a martial art.
> ...


That advice from the Dr is the dumbest I've heard in a while! So a kid wants to learn a craft, embrace it! A child wants to persue something, encourage their eagerness to explore!


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## starscream430 (Jan 14, 2014)

sez_mckez said:


> Yeah that's the perfect analogy. _And be not conformed to this world!_ Don't experience the world because you'll get damaged! I understand their reasoning but never agreed to it and still don't! In the end they did the best they could.
> 
> How would you have felt if your parents made you study something you didn't like though?


I guess when I was younger...I was clueless about the world of academia. To be frank, I was an idealist when it came to knowledge since I wanted to learn a little bit of everything. If my parents started me on a diet on math and science when I was very young, I probably could've developed a bit of an interest in the subjects...


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## starscream430 (Jan 14, 2014)

Lelu said:


> I just wanted to do two things:
> 
> Play drums.
> Learn a martial art.
> ...


Oh dang...people should learn that experts are not totally made of facts :dry:. I did classical music (and still do in college) and Taekwondo in my youth. My parents did this because they wanted me to build up my confidence for being on the stage since I was a very shy kid back in the day...


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## Lelu (Jun 1, 2015)

sez_mckez said:


> That advice from the Dr is the dumbest I've heard in a while! So a kid wants to learn a craft, embrace it! A child wants to persue something, encourage their eagerness to explore!


It was different times I suppose (not that I'm old or anything) and my parents were traditionalists. I agree with you 100%. They always boasted that I can do anything I want, but then when I actually did want it, I should do something else instead.

They made me play Violin and I actually got sent to the principals office in like 5th grade because I skipped the lessons and refused. I think they literally had no clue how to bond with me and thought I would like the stereotypical smart kid prodigy stuff *shrug* and the doctor they listened to provided the confirmation bias.

It's pretty stupid and annoying actually.



starscream430 said:


> Oh dang...people should learn that experts are not totally made of facts :dry:. I did classical music (and still do in college) and Taekwondo in my youth. My parents did this because they wanted me to build up my confidence for being on the stage since I was a very shy kid back in the day...


I think many experts have biases of their own, especially in psychology. Combine this with the confirmation bias of those that seek experts and there we have the problem.

Heh, I think honestly parents don't have much of a clue when they can't understand what makes their child tick. Did it help with your confidence at least lol?


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## starscream430 (Jan 14, 2014)

Lelu said:


> I think many experts have biases of their own, especially in psychology. Combine this with the confirmation bias of those that seek experts and there we have the problem.
> 
> Heh, I think honestly parents don't have much of a clue when they can't understand what makes their child tick. Did it help with your confidence at least lol?


I do agree with your statement concerning the experts. Heck! Our psychology professor even mentions that lots of this research doesn't apply exactly to every child since they're different from each other.

It did help with my confidence with the stage (I love doing speeches, for example :tongue. I still hate small talk though :dry:...


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## iisu (Mar 8, 2014)

I wish my mother didn't project her own apathy and insecurities on me. 

Yeeeah, I have always been very cautious as a child. And I never ever wanted anything. I surely didn't want that toy. I definitely never wanted to get out of my house and go hiking or something. I would be so overwhelmed and scared of all that nature (that I was absolutely fascinated with, but that's surely irrelevant).

Actually, I really ended up with endless patience even as a 5 year old but it was pretty painful. I put up with the fact that most likely if I wanted something I wasn't going to get it. It was true that I didn't want to go anywhere because I didn't even know that it was possible for me to do. All of that was forced upon me because my mother assumed I was like her - dead inside.

I know I must be grateful because it was my mother who earned most of the little money we had and did all of the work about the house while my father was busy watching TV. She bought me books and I lived in them because I had nothing else. When I got older she paid for all the courses I wanted to take up, and that was really cool... But she tried to destroy my ability to enjoy living. Her attempts were pretty successful.


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## Gossip Goat (Nov 19, 2013)

Wish my mom was less like a military Sargent. Always demanding authority and pushing others into her submission. Wish she also let us play / be with other children more. That inhibited our social skills a lot.


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## Popinjay (Sep 19, 2011)

I resent that my parents didn't have an abortion.


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## blood roots (Oct 29, 2013)

Kinda wish my dad didn't turn into a drug addict and neglect us at such an early age.
Everything else I can reluctantly deal with, but that in particular fucked me up.
What's done is done. I'm the person I am today because of it. Can't take it back so no regrets, ultimately.


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## ParsonL (Oct 20, 2015)

I bet we gonna do wrong on our kids too, and maybe one day they will start a conversation about it, which is the worst part =/


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## O_o (Oct 22, 2011)

My parents are fucking great lol. 

But... I sort of... wish they had moved back to Europe with me when I was young. We've stayed so... mixed into our culture that I still very very strongly feel European... A part of me will always feel insecure living here and like I need to move back. Idk. It's an awkward feeling to feel so torn and guilty because of it.


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## SevSevens (Aug 5, 2015)

Popinjay said:


> I resent that my parents didn't have an abortion.


I actually feel the same way sometimes. Wish they would have thought twice at least before having a kid so young.


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## sez_mckez (May 7, 2015)

ParsonL said:


> I bet we gonna do wrong on our kids too, and maybe one day they will start a conversation about it, which is the worst part =/


There's no such thing as a perfect parent no but I think it's healthy to reflect on your own childhood. Me personally, I don't want kids but I remember at a young age, around 8 years old, thinking that if I did have kids I wouldn't raise them the way my parents did.


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