# Which of the NTs is the coldest emotionally?



## Apollo Celestio

ME!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Inev1t4bl3

I wonder how many of the INTJ votes are from INTJ voters? I would not be surprised if many of the INTJ votes were INTJ's trying to keep up the INTJ reputation of being cold and heartless. INTJ's can't let the word get out that they are nice underneath the rough exterior, otherwise they fear they would get taken advantage of.


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## Gentlemen

Inev1t4bl3 said:


> I wonder how many of the INTJ votes are from INTJ voters? I would not be surprised if many of the INTJ votes were INTJ's trying to keep up the INTJ reputation of being cold and heartless. INTJ's can't let the word get out that they are nice underneath the rough exterior, otherwise they fear they would get taken advantage of.


This. He is going to blow your cover.


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## lirulin

Kill him!! :shocked:


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## Inev1t4bl3

lirulin said:


> Kill him!! :shocked:


You have to find me first, then you have to get past the defenses.


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## greco

INTPs. 

People confuse "cold" appearance with lack of emotionality. INTPs' Ne and the extroverted nature of ENTJs and ENTPs makes them seem less "cold" to others than INTJs, which is probably why the latter got the most votes.


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## greco

That, and some of us voting for INTJs 

;-)

your poll is ruined now! 

Don't believe in everything you see


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## nevermore

greco said:


> INTPs.
> 
> People confuse "cold" appearance with lack of emotionality. INTPs' Ne and the extroverted nature of ENTJs and ENTPs makes them seem less "cold" to others than INTJs, which is probably why the latter got the most votes.


The whimsicality of Ne makes us seem less threatening, yes, but I'd say it's more Fe, inferior though it is.

Fe users are uncomfortable if there is social discord and often find it difficult to rest if others are unhappy. It's more "actively" humanitarian. Fe users are often terrified of not being liked, and will go to great lengths to make sure they are not perceived as heartless. There is a certain level of "fakeness" to it, which makes us seem a lot warmer than we really are.


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## talemin

Inev1t4bl3 said:


> I wonder how many of the INTJ votes are from INTJ voters? I would not be surprised if many of the INTJ votes were INTJ's trying to keep up the INTJ reputation of being cold and heartless. INTJ's can't let the word get out that they are nice underneath the rough exterior, otherwise they fear they would get taken advantage of.


I am INTJ and I voted INTP. My idea of 'cold' in this poll was 'lacks emotion' instead of 'doesn't show emotion'. Perhaps we needed some lines more in poll presentation


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## dagnytaggart

A lot of INTJs seem to have this "seething cold" attitude. Not as detached as they want you to believe. The ones I know personally have a LOT of mushy gushy moral empathy feelings, but it'll be a cold day in hell (pun coincidental) before they let anyone know that.

ENTJs come off as uber-emotional to me (yes, anger IS an emotion), and ENTPs are just...idk. Nuts. They're inordinately happy with themselves and play well with others. 

INTPs aren't really cold...I think we can't really be arsed to care one way or the other. I'd say more "lukewarm" is a better descriptor.  Although I get called "cold" and "too detached" all the time unless I actively present a facade. The CEO of my company thinks I'm too task-oriented and "insensitive". rofl

I'd say ISTPs would probably most closely fit the "cold" bill. They don't have that intense emotional core that INTJs do, and they don't even bother with a facade, even if they're knowingly alienating the feeler types. I haven't met many that are really in good control of their Fe.


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## lirulin

ENTPs. They'll backstab you in a heartbeat and expect you to think it's funny.
And the worst part is, it often _is _hilarious.

Seriously though, I find them...inconsistent. The crazy flexibility of Ne, the adaptivity of Fe way down there...it's usually very hard to tell if they care about anything that isn't an audience. Although emotion can sometimes flare up in the weirdest of ways - most of the problems I have with Feelers I have with ENTPs too, for some reason. They can have some ways they are very sensitive.


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## nevermore

talemin said:


> I am INTJ and I voted INTP. My idea of 'cold' in this poll was 'lacks emotion' instead of 'doesn't show emotion'. Perhaps we needed some lines more in poll presentation


As much as even INTP's joke about it, I wouldn't say INTP's _literally_ feel fewer emotions than other types; at least I don't. I used to think I was a Feeler because I had that misconception. It has more to do with how much of a priority feeling/values-based judgments play in your psyche.

In any case, I don't think "lack of feeling" (not the same thing as lack of emotion) was what the poll meant by "cold". It if were, the INTP (or perhaps the ENTJ) would win by default by simple functional mathematics.


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## nevermore

lirulin said:


> ENTPs. They'll backstab you in a heartbeat and expect you to think it's funny.
> And the worst part is, it often _is _hilarious.
> 
> Seriously though, I find them...inconsistent. The crazy flexibility of Ne, the adaptivity of Fe way down there...it's usually very hard to tell if they care about anything that isn't an audience. Although emotion can sometimes flare up in the weirdest of ways - most of the problems I have with Feelers I have with ENTPs too, for some reason. They can have some ways they are very sensitive.


I know lots of ENTP's in real life. Words cannot express how much I relate to this paragraph.


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## rappf

Eh? We talkin' brutality? Stoicism?

Either way, I don't think NT coldness is a matter of single-continuum comparison; rather, our callousness comes in many colors and flavors~! 

:happy:

*Let me now baselessly generalize and extrapolate!*
("Baselessly," as I sadly own nothing more than my own perspective.)

*I. Brutality*

INTJ: People = potential pawns
ENTJ: People = potential serfs
ENTP: People = potential toys
INTP: People = potential studies​
*II. Stoicism*

INTJ: Emotions = a triviality
ENTJ: Emotions = a hindrance
ENTP: Emotions = a pastime
INTP: Emotions = a definition​
[On a more single-continuum, degree-related note, I'm extraordinarily cold (as in emotionless), but I think that's more a "Me-and-the-DSM" thing than a "Me-and-the-MBTI" thing, LOL.]


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## incision

If cold is defined as detached, not sure if MBTI or Jungian theory is the sole methodology to apply. So instead, I'm going to apply enneagram to this.

E5's can be very detached, particularly when they've moved to being unhealthy. This includes many but not all INTJs and INTPs.

Unhealthy E8's move towards being E5s, therefore can also be detached, using detachment as a form of manipulation. This includes many but not all ENTJs and ENTPs.

So in summary, it's less MBTI type and more emotional health of the individual.


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## jockthemotie

This is a tough one. INTJs are more likely to be secretly passionate, Fi in the third position is pretty vulnerable and will typically be hidden to the casual observer, so most get the robotic facade. However, once you're "in the circle of trust" a more emotional, holistic, and warm [or vicious, if the person is just a rotten individual] person emerges.

INTPs, in contrast, are outwardly probably a bit more expressive and...playful, I suppose, due to Ne which gives the impression of emotionality. They tend to not be as personally attached to things, and most of their emotional distress is environmental and interpersonal. Inferior Fe can be outbursty and whiny, and projected outwards upon others, so it's more visible. Generally, emotionality is far more removed from the INTP's decision making process, and generally absent in terms of dictating their inner world.

So, I'm biased, but I'm going to go with INTP.


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## Naama

entj imo

i only know one intj and he isnt emotionally cold, he just doesent show his emo side very much due to introverted side of it and the function being tert


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## Vaka

In my experience, INTJs seem cold but are definitely not cold internally.


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## nevermore

jockthemotie said:


> *So, I'm biased, but I'm going to go with INTP.*


Lol; you know you're an NT when you _want_ to be known as cold!:crazy:


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## Murkness

I always thought INTP (on the other hand, they have extroverted feelings, so...), but talking stereotypes - INTJ.


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## Fuzz

Speaking as an ENTP, I have a hard time understand emotion, and disregard it in making decisions. And its true, I can justify anything to myself because I can "devils-advocate" any argument then back it up with either logic or empirical evidence. ENTJ's are cold in a do whatever they want kind of way, and we're cold in a say whatever we want kind of way, then sleep at night knowing we can make anything make sense.


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## Coonsy

I'd say INTJ, but it can vary I think...but DH and I are both INTJ, and both regularly have gotten accused of not being emotional enough.


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## Trainwreck

lirulin said:


> ENTPs. They'll backstab you in a heartbeat and expect you to think it's funny.
> And the worst part is, it often _is _hilarious.
> 
> Seriously though, I find them...inconsistent. The crazy flexibility of Ne, the adaptivity of Fe way down there...it's usually very hard to tell if they care about anything that isn't an audience. Although emotion can sometimes flare up in the weirdest of ways - most of the problems I have with Feelers I have with ENTPs too, for some reason. They can have some ways they are very sensitive.


I'd call this a fair criticism, especially when it comes to the audience. But when the chips are down, I have never not been there for a friend, and I defend my friends with ferocious loyalty. I've only backstabbed as a result of it happening to me.

Think of an ENTP like the boss of the Water Temple in Ocarina of Time: while we can morph in to all kinds of different shapes, we have a core sphere of ethical principles we'll _never_ break, and if you whip out your long shot and hit that core... prepare for reprisal.


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## dude10000

ENTJs aren't cold, we're just cool.


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## bogdan

I think "cold" is mostly associated with lack of empathy, this is mainly due to religion, films, and stories (maybe INFJ and INTP authors), where "evil" is seen as cold. INFP will have a deeper understanding of the definition of emotion and will easily speculate that INTP are the coldest ones because they can retain emotion. Because of the Ti and Fe function INTP can' t store very complex emotions and they will bounce right away from him. As for INTJ they can store complex emotions and they will know how to organize them, but due to the dominant T function,they won't show anything outside and won't let them interfere with their plans. Yet, INTP have one emotion which frequently comes out, they love to have fun, to play, they have very childish, pure emotions. And how come the INTP who can get so easily hurt from the outside negative emotions can be seen as cold? 
Anyway emotion is an essential part of the thinking process, so you can't really say that a normal NT person won't be affected my emotions, internal or external. 
I think to be "cold" is an attitude, is the personal decision that you don't want your emotion interfere with the thinking process. INTP won't be very good at it, their are often affected my external emotions, unless they have a big theoretical mystery to solve. That's why INTJ who know that being affected by emotions is a serious flaw are the best type for the job of being "cold" or "evil".


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## lirulin

Trainwreck said:


> I'd call this a fair criticism, especially when it comes to the audience. But when the chips are down, I have never not been there for a friend, and I defend my friends with ferocious loyalty. I've only backstabbed as a result of it happening to me.
> 
> Think of an ENTP like the boss of the Water Temple in Ocarina of Time: while we can morph in to all kinds of different shapes, we have a core sphere of ethical principles we'll _never_ break, and if you whip out your long shot and hit that core... prepare for reprisal.


Yeah, my ENTP friend ('friend') says that too, but she still has backstabbed me several times. Go figure.


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## Intermundia

I'm going to go ahead and say that outwardly INTPs and ENTJs are the coldest types, considering their inferior functions happen to be Fe and Fi respectively.


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## MissJordan

The _only _person I have _ever _felt deeply for, a girl I admitted to her that I was _in love with her_. I stopped trusting her, because she was hiding how depressed she was from me because she cared about me.

_I dumped her._

*Then *_I cut off all communications with her._

*And*_ it's taken me about five days to get over the 'love of my life'_.

INTJs.
We're god-damned robots.

EDIT:
She was also the first girl I have sex with.


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## Monte

Five whole days?

Psh.


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## ENTPreneur

"Cold"= in control of emotions. When you are not losing your temper, head or indulging in sensory flamboyance, you strike the peers as cold and unemotional. We cold ones just dont let emotions hinder us from doing the right thing (differently defined by Fe or Fi). BUT: It still may hurt us to see or know the pains inflicted by our decisions. And what makes you think that Fe users are fake? We like people and wish to be liked in return, taking action with this in mind. Isnt that caring? And if Fi means that you care in another, "truer" way, but it doesnt show in action or words, which is the better? 

I myself am more loyal than the pope and Dalai Llama combined. I never lie. I have these principles that I never break. I would risk my own safety to save another human being (or puppy . I cry at movies. I am capable of love. I actually wish to improve the world. I leave the fake smiles, backstabbing and narcissism to the more immature. A mature ENTP can be an impressive figure, even though we cant figure out our own emotions that easily. Many ENTPs are just ENFPs that dont let feelings get in the way of doing the right thing for the most people, including OR excluding themselves. 

I know many INTJs.... And a couple of ENTJs. They seem far more prone to use people, or not care about other peoples feelings. Seems far more selfish: This is my Fe speaking, as someone pointed out earlier in this thread. So I would vote one of these.

I guess it boils down to what you mean by cold and emotionless.


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## Enkidu

tooboku said:


> INTJs are like bee hives, if you don't mind getting stung you'll find some sweet gooey stuff in the middle that gets all over you and makes a mess.


Yeah, so true. All those emotions and no good use for them at the end of the day. 
We have feelings though, right? We can be taught!


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## Bunker Man

INTPs are only cold because they're not social enough to let anyone see their emotions.

INTJs are ACTUALLY cold and ruthless.

ENTPS probably aren't so much...

ENTJs probably act less so, even if they are on the inside.

So... INTJs.


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## alcornd

I would probably say the INTJ is the coldest. Even though ENTP's can often make decisions with no regard for others feelings, we aren't as lone wolfish


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## HowDareThey

tooboku said:


> INTJs are like bee hives, if you don't mind getting stung you'll find some sweet gooey stuff in the middle that gets all over you and makes a mess.



EEEW!!!

:crazy::dry::wink:


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## HowDareThey

Bunker Man said:


> INTPs are only cold because they're not social enough to let anyone see their emotions.
> 
> INTJs are ACTUALLY cold and ruthless.
> 
> ENTPS probably aren't so much...
> 
> ENTJs probably act less so, even if they are on the inside.
> 
> So... INTJs.



WOW!!

Did you know there's actually a thread about whether INTJ's are capable of loving someone! What a silly, silly question!

I take issue with this question in this thread, in the sense it's not clearly defined WHAT is meant by "emotionally cold." Is there a particular behavior that's being referred to? Is it lack of empathy? How defined? 

My boyfriend and I both test INTJ. We are very nice. 

Some people behave in what seems to me to be a cold, unsympathetic, unhelpful way in some situations, towards some people, and differently in others. I've certainly encountered authoritiy figures in my time who I thought were behaving in a way I found "cold" that is, unsympathetic, unkind, unhelpful, and unsupportive towards me. I don't know what their personality types were. Nor do I know whether they routinely behaved that way in all situations towards others. Often these were teachers in a school where I was new or supervisors in a job where I was new, and they were exasperated that I didn't know all the ropes and procedures and competencies my first day. 

The behavior I would describe as using a brusque tone of voice, a hard eyed look, snappying at me, and giving me preachy little speeches about "competence" and "responsibility" on MY part, when I asked a question, and acting impatient by sighing or raising their voice at me when I made a mistake or acted nervous. 

I can be standoffish in some situations and set clear boundaries when I need to, however, I'm rarely in the kind of power situation where I can really be that useless and potentially destructive to a junior worker, or student, so... I guess I don't get to express my coldness. I am a mental health counselor, and my clients are often pleased with me and devoted to therapy. I am "in my head" a lot, my supervisor says, I do empathize but I focus more on problem solving than on the emotions as such.


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## StandingTiger

*ENTP*s are the biggest softies and have huge hearts when they deeply care about someone. They can be very expressive and willing to show love/affection.

Of my confirmed *INTP* friends, one is very aloof, and the other is very emotional... but the latter has struggled with depression and a great deal of heartbreak.

My dad was an *ENTJ*, and he didn't talk about feelings/emotions, but I saw him cry once (death of his father). You knew the love was there. He wasn't afraid to hug us and such as children.

*INTJ*s seem quite cold to me, but that could be simply because I've not gotten super close with a confirmed one. They seem to pride themselves on being apathetic in those regards, while xNTP friends of mine admit to being quite emotional.


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## Exayevie

INTJ. Is that even a question? Lol. I love 'em though, I really do. Whereas the ones I would consider second coldest (ENTJs)... well I *tend* to not like them. Quite decidedly.


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## HowDareThey

hmwith said:


> ENTPs are the biggest softies and have huge hearts when they deeply care about someone. They can be very expressive and willing to show love/affection.
> 
> Of my confirmed INTP friends, one is very aloof, and the other is very emotional... but the latter has struggled with depression and a great deal of heartbreak.
> 
> My dad was an ENTJ, and he didn't talk about feelings/emotions, but I saw him cry once (death of his father). You knew the love was there. He wasn't afraid to hug us and such as children.
> 
> INTJs seem to be cold to me, but that could be simply because I've not gotten super close with a confirmed one.


It seems sort of like you are talking about 2 different things in a way, on one hand, aloofness, the apparent expression of emotion, on the other hand, you're talking about the real depth of feeling. 

You can never really know for sure what someone else is feeling. You can observe what they express. Then you have to wonder how well you understand it (everything from cultural differences to generational differences and other things can influence the accuracy of your understanding.) You may observe someone being aloof, but unless they verbalize to you quite convincingly abou their indifference as well, or you observe them being clearly unmoved by visible trauma, it's really hard to know whether they are indifferent, or you just think they are because they aren't responding a lot overtly.


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## NoirAddict

ENTJ, hands down, without even thinking, not that it's bad to be cold though. :crazy:


Well, actually, it's ENTJ vs. INTP for me (each both have Fi and Fe at the bottom, respectively). But judging from personal acquaintances, ENTJ has my vote. "Connecting with others" - albeit a very narrow description of how Fe manifests, is what I interpret as "not being cold". Fe is in the aspirational position (vulnerable desire towards gaining social acceptance) in INTP's, while it is in the demonic position in ENTJ (manipulating others to serve Te). Go figure. :crazy:


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## HowDareThey

Exayevie said:


> INTJ. Is that even a question? Lol. I love 'em though, I really do. Whereas the ones I would consider second coldest (ENTJs)... well I *tend* to not like them. Quite decidedly.


In my personal observation, people generally (personality types unknown) tend to demonstrate cold BEHAVIOR towards others whom they do not like! 

So... you love me, though, really you do... but you might glare coldly at an ENTJ? :wink:


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## StandingTiger

HowDareThey said:


> It seems sort of like you are talking about 2 different things in a way, on one hand, aloofness, the apparent expression of emotion, on the other hand, you're talking about the real depth of feeling.
> 
> You can never really know for sure what someone else is feeling. You can observe what they express. Then you have to wonder how well you understand it (everything from cultural differences to generational differences and other things can influence the accuracy of your understanding.) You may observe someone being aloof, but unless they verbalize to you quite convincingly abou their indifference as well, or you observe them being clearly unmoved by visible trauma, it's really hard to know whether they are indifferent, or you just think they are because they aren't responding a lot overtly.


I agree with everything you're saying here. I used "aloof", because it's a word the person has used to describe himself. Though they're not the same thing, multiple traits factor into whether or not someone is seen as "cold", one of such being aloofness.


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## chaeriean

i think intps are the coldest emotionally because the intps i know don't really seem to rely on emotions or feel that much. and surprisingly this makes them _more_ affable instead of less, because they are so freaking calm it seems like nothing fazes them. at least that is the experience i have had with the few intps i have known in real life. they are amazing to be around and you can truly know that what you are getting is as objective as they can possibly be. intjs to me seem to be very stoic on the outside, but are quite capable of being emotional. just see the intj anger thread. of course the one intj i know in real life doesn't get angry hardly at all, so who even knows.


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## HowDareThey

hmwith said:


> I agree with everything you're saying here. I used "aloof", because it's a word the person has used to describe himself. Though they're not the same thing, multiple traits factor into whether or not someone is seen as "cold", one of such being aloofness.


What might be the most accurate way to describe someone who was standoffish and "aloof" in behavior, but who felt very strongly about things?


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## HowDareThey

chaeriean said:


> i think intps are the coldest emotionally because the intps i know don't really seem to rely on emotions or feel that much. and surprisingly this makes them _more_ affable instead of less, because they are so freaking calm it seems like nothing fazes them. at least that is the experience i have had with the few intps i have known in real life. they are amazing to be around and you can truly know that what you are getting is as objective as they can possibly be. intjs to me seem to be very stoic on the outside, but are quite capable of being emotional. just see the intj anger thread. of course the one intj i know in real life doesn't get angry hardly at all, so who even knows.



I think the realities of people's emotions are so complicated and so highly individualistic, that it might go somewhat beyond what the MBTI helps us understand...


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## affezwilling

INTP's are the coldest. Fe is their aspirational, or least likely to ever develop, role and Fi is their devilish role. That means focusing on others wants and needs is almost impossible to them and will annoy them to no end and focusing on emotions will likely end in them accidental destroying something. ENTJ's are a close second, but they might be able to develop enough of an Fe ability to actually take others into consideration. ENTP's are the probably least cold, but probably the most manipulative as well.


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## Vladf777

I'd have to say ENTP, I'm practically a sociopath, with high moral standards which keep me in line


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## nevermore

affezwilling said:


> INTP's are the coldest. Fe is their aspirational, or least likely to ever develop, role and Fi is their devilish role. That means focusing on others wants and needs is almost impossible to them and will annoy them to no end and focusing on emotions will likely end in them accidental destroying something. ENTJ's are a close second, but they might be able to develop enough of an Fe ability to actually take others into consideration. ENTP's are the probably least cold, but probably the most manipulative as well.


Why would ENTJ's be more likely to develop Fe? It's devilish for them. INTP's at least have conscious access to it.

If you consider Fe warmer, the ENTJ is the coldest. If you consider Fi warmer, INTP is the coldest. But this thread has nothing to do with whether the Feeling function is in last or not, or the ENTJ/INTP would win by default and the question would not have been asked. Not to mention to INTJ would not be winning.


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## Space Cat

I am cold.
I don't deny my 'cold-ness'.
Although, there's usually a reason to it. Just like there's a reason for us to not show our emotions, etc. We wouldn't be cold without a valid reason.

A lot of people are giving their reasoning such as Fe/Fi in their last function, hence it makes them colder. Yet it is not seen in this poll otherwise.
We're a minority, of course we would be seen as cold. People fear what they don't understand.


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## Valiums

What _exactly _is meant by "coldest emotionally"?


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## Scruffy

Vladf777 said:


> I'd have to say ENTP, I'm practically a sociopath, with *high moral standards* which keep me in line


What was that?


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## Rose Belle

You question was not clear. Emotionally cold????

I'm cold on the outside if something or someone has my red flags up..I'm cautious to the point of mean sounding.

If it is someone I love who loves me back..then I'm very emotionally open on the inside and let the sugar run out of the canister to the outside..how lucky for them...:tongue:


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## DarkSideOfLight

ENTP is definitely the warmest. 

As for the coldest it depends on the definition of being "cold".

INTP after a small warm-up may be closer to the ENTP brother.

ENTJ may "freeze" his whole serrounding, because beeing so dominant, judgmental and blunt with logic. It happens to me when I have no interest in a given social situation just being there quiet turns the place into frozen hell  Or I may shut ppl down. In general the one who would warm everything up especially if deadline knocks to the door.

Now for "cold" as being reserved, hard to get to INTJ comes on the first position. Absent individuals.


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## March Cat

It would probably come down to ENTJ or INTJ, since all of the ENTPs and INTPs that I know usually seem warm. I think an INTJ might "seem" colder than the ENTJ just because they wouldn't talk as much or approach more people than the ENTJ. On the other hand, the INTJ might be disregarded as "shy", while the ENTJ who does approach people with hard logic might be perceived as colder. It depends on the person, I think.


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## luemb

I definitely agree with everyone else that this question is way to vague. I mean, it depends on the individual person, and how well you know them. If you are good friends with an INTJ you will know that they have a really really emotionally warm side to them (sorry to reveal your secrets...  ) Meanwhile as an INTP I have a warm side too, but even my close friends rarely see it. And its always filtered by Ti and then by Ne, which makes it really hard to access. However, INTPs make up for being emotionally cold by being accepting, accommodating and friendly in general, so you won't see spurts of coldness, at least not from me.

Someone else summed it up nicely by saying that INTPs are too emotionally distant to be cold.


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## Sanskrit

Inev1t4bl3 said:


> You have to find me first, then you have to get past the defenses.


I am an INTJ, I do not need to physically locate you to collect your head.



The March Cat said:


> It would probably come down to ENTJ or INTJ, since all of the ENTPs and INTPs that I know usually seem warm. I think an INTJ might "seem" colder than the ENTJ just because they wouldn't talk as much or approach more people than the ENTJ. On the other hand, the INTJ might be disregarded as "shy", while the ENTJ who does approach people with hard logic might be perceived as colder. It depends on the person, I think.


I see it this way: INTJ is cold and lacking of ethics because anyone outside the small sustainable circle of truly loyal friends is to them just another fraction of potential yet currently wasted resource. And we hate to waste resources so we try to find them any use we can, good or not for the resource. 
ENTJ is cold because they feel more as if they have a image to upkeep and any signs of emotion is a sign that you have a good side to get to, Which they do, but the machismo complex or insecurity prevents them benefiting from it. The coldness then is extented to the ones up close and dear to them too. The extroversion plays a role in this.


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## HowDareThey

See, like others have said, it depends on what you mean by "cold." That sounds like a judgmental label, without describing what specific behaviors you refer to when you describe someone as "cold."


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## Sanskrit

HowDareThey said:


> See, like others have said, it depends on what you mean by "cold." That sounds like a judgmental label, without describing what specific behaviors you refer to when you describe someone as "cold."


I'm so cold that I am wearing thick fluffy socks. Winters up here at north get vicious.


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## Valiums

OKAY THEN.
I'm going to take all possible definitions and just say "INTP" because I'm an Enneagram 4 and that makes me feel more unique/special.
Booyah!


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## absentminded

I'm going to say INTJ is the all around coldest. (No offense, that's a compliment in my book.) Their feeling function is higher up, granting them greater control over it, and is pointed inward.


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## gaudy316

Cold as in 1. Doesn't show emotion? 2. Likely to stomp on a rabbit? 3. Couldn't care of the ending of "My Sister's Keeper"? 

I know INTJs very well - 2 of them are my best friends. They show emotion every now and then, but definitely will be 'cold' in front of large groups especially with unknown acquaintances. I don't think they'll stomp on a rabbit. For sad movie endings, they probably would be like "WTF?" and rationalize why the movie was good or not. 

ENTPs I know are too social to be 'cold.' 

I'd say the ENTJs and INTPs are the 'coldest' (certainly not the coolest). ENTJs I know, including my dad and another female friend, are go-getters and demand everything - no matter the situation. Doesn't matter if people are around you, doesn't matter if it's at a church. They will get what they want, when they want. They'll berate you in front of anyone. Yet, when someone gets all emotional after an ENTJ outburst, the ENTJ brushes it off thinking that they just did something right for the berated 'victim'. Trust me, ENTJs are the one of the coldest of the bunch. As for a movie with sad ending, I think the ENTJs will just be like 'LOL'. Would they stomp on a cute bunny too? Sure, if it was worth it. 

I don't have too many experiences with INTPs but I do know a few females, including one I went out with for a little while. She is very unemotional and doesn't say a word in group settings unless she's directly asked a question - in which her answers will be as short as possible. Well, INTPs are born the biggest atheists so I don't expect too much emotion on their sleeves anyway. 

Coldest of all colds award has to go to ISTJs.


----------



## nevermore

gaudy316 said:


> Well, INTPs are born the biggest atheists so I don't expect too much emotion on their sleeves anyway


I am INTP and I do not care if people believe in God or not. I'm an atheist, but I do experience deep spiritual feelings and would actually consider myself a spiritual person. I never understood why so many INTP's cared whether or not someone else believes in something illogical. Obviously their motive for believing isn't logical, so why would you argue them if they aren't hurting anyone? Debating religion when it leads to _unethical_ practices, or stagnates scientific research/education is something else entirely, and is something I will partake in. But actual belief in religion per se does not annoy me in the slightest so long as they don't force it on me. Their life, I say. Live and let live.


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## Protagoras

My friends (an INTJ) told me I was the most cold-hearted person he's ever met, because I didn't really feel anything or showed any emotion when Commander Ikari used the dummy-system to attack the Angel in Asuka's Eva and even defended this action as necessary, effective and responsible. Yes, we really are nerds, aren't we? xD

Anyway, perhaps INTJs are really not that cold-hearted as they seem... Most INTJs I know tend to be more in touch with their emotions than I am.


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## darksoul

Elwood92 said:


> My friends (an INTJ) told me I was the most cold-hearted person he's ever met, because I didn't really feel anything or showed any emotion when Commander Ikari used the dummy-system to attack the Angel in Asuka's Eva and even defended this action as necessary, effective and responsible. Yes, we really are nerds, aren't we? xD
> 
> Anyway, perhaps INTJs are really not that cold-hearted as they seem... Most INTJs I know tend to be more in touch with their emotions than I am.


My INTJ friend even helped me with some relationship problem I had a while ago. So, no, I don't think they are cold-hearted; just seem that way.


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## feralesque

In my experience ENTP followed closely by INTJ. 
My father is an INTJ and my partner is an ENTP. 

We've just had a massive earthquake in NZ (Christchurch). My ENTP showed a complete lack of interest and really couldn't care less. In fact I donated $5 to the Christchurch relief fund (or whatever it's called) and my ENTP harassed me the whole way home suggesting that I may as well have just thrown the $5 out of the window. My INTJ father showed a similar level of interest to me, which was along the lines of 'this is interesting' but no emotional response. But he appears to have some understanding of the urge to donate, when my mother did the same she didn't get a lecture on throwing money away.


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## mickyj300x

feralesque said:


> In my experience ENTP followed closely by INTJ.
> My father is an INTJ and my partner is an ENTP.
> 
> We've just had a massive earthquake in NZ (Christchurch). My ENTP showed a complete lack of interest and really couldn't care less. In fact I donated $5 to the Christchurch relief fund (or whatever it's called) and my ENTP harassed me the whole way home suggesting that I may as well have just thrown the $5 out of the window. My INTJ father showed a similar level of interest to me, which was along the lines of 'this is interesting' but no emotional response. But he appears to have some understanding of the urge to donate, when my mother did the same she didn't get a lecture on throwing money away.


I know ENTJs and (an) INTJ who have had those reactions (yes, both of them, more or less). The ENTJs have been quiet about it generally, making inappropriate jokes whenever the chance arises. The INTJ has pretty much had to hold his tongue whenever it comes up, as he (quote) "has no empathy or care about [the Christchurch quake]". 

My reaction was the same as feralesque's INTJ father.


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## Kr3m1in

ENTPs just think it's all a big cosmic joke, so they are very hot and cold, but when you get them warmed up,it's time to bring out the marshmallows. Jokes are their front and their element, and I don't find them cold at all, have a pretty rich dating history with that type. They are always the feely one in those relationships.
INTJs feel all sorts of things, but most of them are extremely socially awkward and so it's easier for them to just convince themselves that they are unique robots and sit in their carefully crafted sci-fi universes with other like-minded robots. I've had quite a few of INTJs have romantic interests in me, and their ways of showing it are just...disfunctional. Seen one break down, it's quite sad, really.
INTP I can't say much about.
For me, you start nowhere when you meet me. YOu prove to me your feelings are more than trains passing by in the night, bu being a great human being, a fantastic worker, something. Then I'll care, meaning acknowledge that your feelings drive your actions to a certain degree.
In romantic relationships it's different, if I have decided your softness and will to cuddle are worth paying attention to, I'll show you I give a damn. Usually, in an action-oriented sort of way, but you will know damn well.


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## nevermore

feralesque said:


> my ENTP harassed me the whole way home suggesting that I may as well have just thrown the $5 out of the window.


See, I could imagine an NT secretly _thinking_ that, but most of them I know are somewhat guilty about their lack of empathy and would never berate someone else over doing something altruistic, even if they don't understand it (especially over an amount like 5 dollars...mind you my ENTP grandmother did scold me a little for giving to the Haiti earthquake fund and was very angry that our government was making contributions to help rebuild the country). I never understood Feelers' altruistic drives as a kid, but I felt I was lacking as a person because of my inability to be emotionally distraught at human suffering around the world (although I did have very strong empathetic feelings for people suffering in my community/close circle and was a passionate campaigner for environmentalism at the age of 6...I just didn't care about situations I wasn't personally closely connected to).

Then again I grew up in an oddly Feeler-ish environment where logic was generally mocked and looked down on. It's why I developed a fairly good Fe for an INTP and is partly why I am still a bit of a wannabe Feeler. Mind you I have a much more altruistic/idealistic worldview now as it is.


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## Kr3m1in

I am incredibly altruistic, but that is because i grew up with a very selfish feeler and have taken sort of a mental oath to never be a selfish person. Also, Russian culture teaches you to value the people you value above your own self, which I most definitely subscribe to.
I don't do donations, because I feel it's my responsibility to take care of those closest to me above all else. And I don't think I can make much of a global change in the condition of the world, so I stick to a local approach. To a friend though, I'll give it all. But then, I have very high standards for what qualifies as a friend.


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## nevermore

Yeah, as I mentioned I have always been extremely altruistic on the local level. While that's admirable, I don't think it's quite the same thing as this more global consciousness I've noticed a lot of NF's seem to have (not that a lot of NT's and people of other types don't ever have it as well). It's very natural to be distressed when people around you are suffering and want to help them...quite another to feel such a connection with people halfway across the world. Not that those people don't matter, I just used to (not anymore) find it hard to care about things going on in countries far from mine where the circumstances did not affect me.


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## Mr.Xl Vii

mickyj300x said:


> I know ENTJs and (an) INTJ who have had those reactions (yes, both of them, more or less). The ENTJs have been quiet about it generally, making inappropriate jokes whenever the chance arises. The INTJ has pretty much had to hold his tongue whenever it comes up, as he (quote) "has no empathy or care about [the Christchurch quake]".
> 
> My reaction was the same as feralesque's INTJ father.


That's something I would say, but I dont blame him or think he's cold for it. ENTPs are among the types most likely to NOT believe in a deity. His lack of interest in a church being destroyed makes sense in that regard. Additionally, humans have a very low capacity for empathy towards those outside their circle of interest. I honestly dont see anything wrong with this.

Now I have no problem with being altruistic, but I'd rather give my money to the Sudan, or starving kids. I dont care that an earthquake destroyed a chruch


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## Ventricity

there are different ways of being cold that can be ascribed to the personalities. Ti is different than Te, Se is different than Si. i am also tired of the notion that feelers are supposed to be nicer than thinkers.

psychopathy is not something that is more common in thinkers in general, it is a biological condition. very fiew people are psychopaths. so to me, it seems to boil down to showing emotions and not showing emotions. thinkers usually doesn't prefer to show emotions and therefore is percieved as colder. personally i have a deep desire to contribute to the benefit of something so stupidly ambitious as humankind in my fields of interests(through science or art for instance). it is a very strong feeling in me that motivates me, but i'm probably not seen as particulary emotional. i pretty much hate any form of sentimentality around me, i don't give much to charity, i switch the channels when i see a human disaster on tv, i don't read about such stuff. i do feel bad when i see such things, but i just prefer not to.


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## nevermore

Mr.Xl Vii said:


> That's something I would say, but I dont blame him or think he's cold for it. ENTPs are among the types most likely to NOT believe in a deity. His lack of interest in a church being destroyed makes sense in that regard. Additionally, humans have a very low capacity for empathy towards those outside their circle of interest. I honestly dont see anything wrong with this.
> 
> Now I have no problem with being altruistic, but I'd rather give my money to the Sudan, or starving kids. I dont care that an earthquake destroyed a chruch


I tend to be more sad about the loss of beautiful architecture than anything else...


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## Chinchilla

I realize now that I wasn't quite clear about my meaning of cold. What I mean by cold is the appearance of lack of emotions. Anger, wrath, and hatred do not qualify for cold.

I would like to change my assumption to INTP and INTJ, all though they are cold for different reasons. INTPs are distant emotionally (and mentally for that matter). INTJs are cold in the fact that they can give pure criticism without regard to people's emotion. It also stems from Fe being the weakest available function for INTP and INTJs having Introverted Feeling.

I haven't met enough ENTJs to gather a proper opinion on them, but they don't seem very cold to me.


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## MissJordan

darksoul said:


> My INTJ friend even helped me with some relationship problem I had a while ago. So, no, I don't think they are cold-hearted; just seem that way.


Don't people realize that there are probably a lot more INTJs than any other NT?

Also, there's loads of ENFPs, and they'd have voted for the INTJs.


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## darksoul

MisterJordan said:


> Don't people realize that there are probably a lot more INTJs than any other NT?
> 
> Also, there's loads of ENFPs, and they'd have voted for the INTJs.


What do you mean? I'm curious. :mellow:


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## feralesque

nevermore said:


> See, I could imagine an NT secretly _thinking_ that, but most of them I know are somewhat guilty about their lack of empathy and would never berate someone else over doing something altruistic, even if they don't understand it (especially over an amount like 5 dollars...mind you my ENTP grandmother did scold me a little for giving to the Haiti earthquake fund and was very angry that our government was making contributions to help rebuild the country). I never understood Feelers' altruistic drives as a kid, but I felt I was lacking as a person because of my inability to be emotionally distraught at human suffering around the world (although I did have very strong empathetic feelings for people suffering in my community/close circle and was a passionate campaigner for environmentalism at the age of 6...I just didn't care about situations I wasn't personally closely connected to).
> 
> Then again I grew up in an oddly Feeler-ish environment where logic was generally mocked and looked down on. It's why I developed a fairly good Fe for an INTP and is partly why I am still a bit of a wannabe Feeler. Mind you I have a much more altruistic/idealistic worldview now as it is.



My ENTP doesn't seem to secretly think anything. He's pretty open about his general lack of empathy and wouldn't even consider feeling guilty about it.
But in his defense I took his berating of me as mostly humourous. I knew he was serious but maybe because I'm (supposedly) an INTP I wasn't upset by his behaviour, in fact I was more amused. I spent the entire drive back home laughing at him as he ranted.

What does interest me is that my ENTP is quicker to help other people out than I am and generally has a more positive view of people than I do. While he may be insensitive he's much more willing to help the people he knows, where I'm more altruistic in a removed sense. I prefer my altruism to be detached and removed, whereas my ENTP will just do nice things for people out of the blue. So maybe INTP should also be in the running. 

I didn't emotionally react the Christchurch Earthquake, despite my sudden $5 act of altruism, but I had what I consider the good sense to be more secretive about my lack of empathy. I suspect many an NT who has exposed themselves, even inadvertantly, to a lot of feeling focused people will develop a better balance and at the very least know how to prevent upsetting the more feeling oriented types.


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## I will kill you all

hengsheng120 said:


> I'd think an ENTJ would seem condescending towards INF/TP attitudes.
> 
> do you mean "cold" as in lack of sympathy (plain mean) or just a lack of outward emotions (could still be nice)?


Define "gooey stuuf", and specify the exact place inside the INTJ this is found, because while I know what you mean, this could easily become an inuendo.


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## Sparky84

This question really isn't that black or white..


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## Persephone

INTP. Every INTJ I know (myself, a middle-aged male and a young female) is extremely emotional. Every INTP I know are emotionally unflappable to various degrees. One flat out says that not much ever fazes him. You might think he's bluffing. After knowing him for two years, it's obvious as hell he's not bluffing at all.



Chinchilla said:


> I realize now that I wasn't quite clear about my meaning of cold. What I mean by cold is the appearance of lack of emotions. Anger, wrath, and hatred do not qualify for cold.


The coldness of an INTP stems not from malice or aggression, but because their Fe is so far under wraps. Sometimes it's hard to tell if the INTP is aware of his feelings. I would say INTJs are more aware of their own feelings (tertiary v. inferior- a person might not develop inferior function until very late in life) but they are more guarded about them. When an INTP expresses emotions there is something artless and sincere about it, and they sometimes don't know they're doing it. Emotionally aware INTJs know what they feel but ironically will be better at keeping people out. I KNOW I have a wall around myself. When I share raw emotions it's because I let down the drawbridge. It's _always _deliberate. And it happens about once every other year.

And this is why I submit INTPs are "colder". Some of them seem not to know their emotions exist. They appear to themselves and everybody else to be unemotional.


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## nevermore

Persephone said:


> INTP. Every INTJ I know (myself, a middle-aged male and a young female) is extremely emotional. Every INTP I know are emotionally unflappable to various degrees. One flat out says that not much ever fazes him. You might think he's bluffing. After knowing him for two years, it's obvious as hell he's not bluffing at all.
> 
> The coldness of an INTP stems not from malice or aggression, but because their Fe is so far under wraps. Sometimes it's hard to tell if the INTP is aware of his feelings. I would say INTJs are more aware of their own feelings (tertiary v. inferior- a person might not develop inferior function until very late in life) but they are more guarded about them. When an INTP expresses emotions there is something artless and sincere about it, and they sometimes don't know they're doing it. Emotionally aware INTJs know what they feel but ironically will be better at keeping people out. I KNOW I have a wall around myself. When I share raw emotions it's because I let down the drawbridge. It's _always _deliberate. And it happens about once every other year.
> 
> And this is why I submit INTPs are "colder". Some of them seem not to know their emotions exist. They appear to themselves and everybody else to be unemotional.


I'm starting to doubt that awareness of feelings is as closely correlated to type as a lot of people assume. Don't get me wrong, I'm not that aware of my emotions (I'm an INTP) but I used to be. What made me cold wasn't type but life experience. Numbness I just developed because of what life threw at me. (Personally I despise it; I'm the biggest wannabe F there is). But it is what it is now. My Fe is better developed now, as you'd expect from more life experience (though I don't exactly have much, I'm 23) but I'm still far less emotional than I used to be...


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## Oswald

tooboku said:


> INTJs are like bee hives, if you don't mind getting stung you'll find some sweet gooey stuff in the middle that gets all over you and makes a mess.


No better analogy exists.


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## Persephone

nevermore said:


> I'm starting to doubt that awareness of feelings is as closely correlated to type as a lot of people assume. Don't get me wrong, I'm not that aware of my emotions (I'm an INTP) but I used to be. What made me cold wasn't type but life experience. Numbness I just developed because of what life threw at me. (Personally I despise it; I'm the biggest wannabe F there is). But it is what it is now. My Fe is better developed now, as you'd expect from more life experience (though I don't exactly have much, I'm 23) but I'm still far less emotional than I used to be...


You're saying it COULD be a defense mechanism? Something at some point caused you to shut down? It's an interesting theory. I've considered it before. One INTP I know (my ex, actually. This is one major reason we didn't work out) has this problem and he's a basket case; not only is he not aware if it, he is the most inexpressive even if he is. The other INTP (our mutual best friend) I know does not have this problem at all (he's very emotionally open; but he has a very limited emotional range). In fact the latter INTP and I analyzed the former INTP extensively with respect to his lack of awareness of his feelings/hyper self-protectiveness and we concluded that something in his past caused him to be like this.


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## nevermore

Persephone said:


> You're saying it COULD be a defense mechanism? Something at some point caused you to shut down? It's an interesting theory. I've considered it before. One INTP I know (my ex, actually. This is one major reason we didn't work out) has this problem and he's a basket case; not only is he not aware if it, he is the most inexpressive even if he is. The other INTP (our mutual best friend) I know does not have this problem at all (he's very emotionally open; but he has a very limited emotional range). In fact the latter INTP and I analyzed the former INTP extensively with respect to his lack of awareness of his feelings/hyper self-protectiveness and we concluded that something in his past caused him to be like this.


I can't think of any other reasonable explanation. (I guess I can't be sure though; it was not something I chose consciously.) I don't even think I really NEEDED to become so emotionally dull to fight the pain...I think it was probably just my subconscious freaking out at the intense depression I was experiencing at the time, and trying to pull the plug on it. (Though it didn't actually fix my depression, unfortunately).

I actually didn't mean to tie this to type directly, but yes, it could very well be common for INTP's. I think we tend not to handle negative emotions well, and sometimes total detachment from them can be the only way we know how to cope. I do want to stress this is not always what an INTP _wants_; I consider human feeling to be the greatest gift we have been given as a species, and immersion in rich and meaningful emotion to be the principal value of our existence. But something in my subconscious obviously did not agree. So it is not always a matter of encouraging the INTP who suffers from this to "open up", though some may genuinely prefer to keep their emotions dulled.

I'm glad you mentioned the emotional range; this has declined a LOT as well, and to be honest it is the worst part of all. Actually I would even say it is most of the problem; many of my simpler emotions are still strong. I'd rather have access to a greater spectrum of emotions and feel them less strongly than lose some of them entirely, though - in some ways that's almost preferable, because there is protection but still beauty. Also I find simpler emotions tend to be less enjoyable (not because they are simple, but because primal emotions tend to be there to get you to DO something and so are often unpleasant), and in me at least tend, more often than not, to be more negative.

I really wish that the psychological world would pay more attention to phenomena like this. Most therapists I've been too simply don't take the matter very seriously, or think I want to be more emotional so I can be there for others more (like it's just some social expectation). Most people seem to want to find ways to be LESS emotional, but there are a lot of people in the world who have the opposite problem.


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## sjack

It's funny you mention all this @_nevermore_ because I've spoken to many INTPs who wished their inferior Fe wouldn't grip their dominant Ti's decision making process and wish to suppress their inferior function to the point where they don't have to worry about feelings anymore. But when they finally reach such a state, they feel such apathy and emptiness that they'd wish to go back to the exact same place from where they started just so they could feel _any _strong emotions. They describe it to me almost as if wanting to tear off the skin from their face in order to feel anything-good or bad.


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## nevermore

sjack said:


> It's funny you mention all this @_nevermore_ because I've spoken to many INTPs who wished their inferior Fe wouldn't grip their dominant Ti's decision making process and wish to suppress their inferior function to the point where they don't have to worry about feelings anymore. But when they finally reach such a state, they feel such apathy and emptiness that they'd wish to go back to the exact same place from where they started just so they could feel _any _strong emotions. They describe it to me almost as if wanting to tear off the skin from their face in order to feel anything-good or bad.


That's about right, as kind of melodramatic and (ironically) over-emotional as it sounds. Except I never even _wished_ it; I always valued emotion, it was just an automatic response to severe depression.

But like I mentioned, it didn't exactly work. I actually _can_ still feel some bad emotions strongly, just not the rich, complex, beautiful feelings (except vague wisps of them on very rare occasions, which usually only serve to remind me of how much I've lost). When I say rich and complex I don't mean that those feelings can't ever be negative; they often have an element of negativity to them, but that most positive emotions except a very muted sense of joy (I don't even feel relief very strongly anymore) are gone. The most unpleasant emotions are usually the simpler ones; the most rich and rewarding the more complex (although this often means they have an element of "negativity" to them).

Someone I used to be close to died recently and I remembered almost being happy because I was feeling grief again, which before I would have thought ridiculous, but even that is a much more rich emotion than the depression I was experiencing, because there is a bittersweet beauty to remembering fondly the life of someone you've lost.


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## Navi

tooboku said:


> INTJs are like bee hives, if you don't mind getting stung you'll find some sweet gooey stuff in the middle that gets all over you and makes a mess.













Kind of like jizz.


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## jdstankosky

ENTP's are self-serving. They play almost entirely to their own interests. *Generally*, helping others and being friendly align with their desires. Having said this, they *are* neutral. If being emotionally cold goes in line with their self-interest, it's a no brainer. ENTP's align with Chaotic Neutral tendencies.













I don't know enough about INTJ's to talk about them, but this picture explains a lot:













And setting ENTP's and INTJ's side by side, it's easy to tell who is the most "cold" on an emotional level:


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## DarwinsBastard

What criteria are we going by exactly? 

Cold as in not particularly emotionally demonstrative? INTJs might fit that bill, but I think it's important not to then assume we don't feel. There is a strange perception floating around (largely perpetuated by other types and mistypes) that INTJs are...


jdstankosky said:


>


...All raging sociopaths without feelings. Not only do some people suggest that INTJs are "unfeeling" or "robotic", but weirdly, others seem to wear being perceived as a sociopath as a badge of honour. I have tertiary Fi, it may not be readily apparent to those around me, but feeling is not a foreign concept to me. I have been called cold before, more than once, but IXTJs have inner lives that are far from free of emotion. It is this caricatured and shallow picture of NTs... Ts in general that leads many to start their time at PerC believing they are Fs simply because they actually experience emotions.


----------



## nevermore

DarwinsBastard said:


> weirdly, others seem to wear being perceived as a sociopath as a badge of honour.


I would just bet that these people are the ones who are actually the most sensitive... :wink:

Not that I begrudge them...as long as they aren't actually sociopaths of course lol.


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## noname42

I find the whole topic of which is the coldest NT is absurd and waste of time. All NT are loving and caring human beings who are touched by the suffering of those they know and don't know. We are full of empathy towards our fellow human beings and our emotions can be read like an open book. We are very "user friendly" and respect society rules and traditions. I'm so emotional that my eyes are dripping tears as I write this post.


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## VamPie

Chinchilla said:


> A simple question really. I would say INTJ or ENTPs are the coldest.


What do you mean by 'emotionally cold'? Behaviour as seen from the outside or emotional life? Or something else?
I'm an INTP and I consider myself far from emotionally cold.


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## VamPie

sjack said:


> It's funny you mention all this @_nevermore_ because I've spoken to many INTPs who wished their inferior Fe wouldn't grip their dominant Ti's decision making process and wish to suppress their inferior function to the point where they don't have to worry about feelings anymore. But when they finally reach such a state, they feel such apathy and emptiness that they'd wish to go back to the exact same place from where they started just so they could feel _any _strong emotions. They describe it to me almost as if wanting to tear off the skin from their face in order to feel anything-good or bad.


Sounds rather like depression or other serious problem.


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## DylanA

I think xNTJ are colder, because they don't have Fe which is a bit more warming (I believe). I think INTJs are more so though.


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## purposive

Eh. I will go with INTP and INTJ.


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## nevermore

VamPie said:


> Sounds rather like depression or other serious problem.


One symptom of depression, yeah. It can manifest in different ways.

But I agree - I don't think it's an INTP thing, at best it's just something INTP's are more prone to. The difference between F and T isn't the actual emotions you feel so much as whether the lion's share of your internal analysis is values oriented (which takes feelings into account more) or logic oriented.


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## kissy2490

Missie said:


> INTJ's are probably the coldest, speaking from tons of experience. The ones i've met are like a bundle of unconsecrated evil :crazy:.


Truth!


----------



## Maximus Deus

Hesitant between INTP or INTJ.


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## Jetsune Lobos

Navi said:


> Kind of like jizz.


Is that supposed to be a dinosaur that looks like a penis or a penis that looks like a dinosaur?




Maximus Deus said:


> Hesitant between INTP or INTJ.


Get a quarter. Assign one to each side and toss it into the air. Whichever side it's on as it comes back down and makes a beeline for the jugular is your answer. I'd do it myself but I don't believe in American currency.


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## FlawlessError

Bunker Man said:


> INTPs are only cold because they're not social enough to let anyone see their emotions.
> 
> INTJs are ACTUALLY cold and ruthless.
> 
> ENTPS probably aren't so much...
> 
> ENTJs probably act less so, even if they are on the inside.
> 
> So... INTJs.


No. INTJs are actually kids, with an empathy which would blow up any measuring device. Only, they are hidden behind a sound proof, reinforced steel wall.


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## Arnold

Speaking from an INTP perspective, superficially we're far from cold - we don the mask of the patient listener every time people have stuff to whine about, and drop empathetic comments so that they still feel as though we're there, but then deep down, emotion just doesn't enter into our decisions, at all. That's what Fe is, essentially, resonating with other people, and when you have auxiliary Ne, mimicking people without actually feeling a thing becomes no-brainers - it's dropping the act that's hard. But even at that, I wouldn't say that INTPs are the coldest type, ENTPs are, because to me at least, to be cold means to be wholly detached from emotion, and ENTPs are exactly that. I mean they are even better at being social chameleons than we INTPs are, but thing I've observed is that they have even fewer principles (if any {and that's very, very unlikely}) than INTPs, who at least have the Ti to reign in the Ne. I do only know one ENTP IRL or online, so it's not very representative, but there'd be one of those days when by some whim he decides to tell everybody off for bullying a poor ESTP sociopath, and guess what he does next? Find a gecko and stuff it into a bottle-cap.......... Ne doms - what can you say?


----------



## googoodoll

SHERlockedEnigmaPage394 said:


> Of the INTJs I know the males are more emotive.


How? if anything, the female NTs are seem more likeable than the male ones, xNTJ's anyway.


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## googoodoll

SHERlockedEnigmaPage394 said:


> Of the INTJs I know the males are more emotive.


I see what you mean though, male NTs mostly crave NFs so they have to open up somehow, while female NTs may prefer other NTs, so they might get more and more closed off.


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## DustyWind

Scelerat said:


> I've got a BA in computer science, build excel models in my spare time, have watched every episode of Star Trek and Star Trek TNG, over 200 episodes of "One Piece", and went to school with 25 people who played MMORPGs 12 hours or more each day, and that's still the nerdiest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life.


Dad, is that you?!


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## Lemxn

INTJs? Seriously? If you really, _really_ know an INTJ in real life you will know they're one of the most emotional types. And you know what I mean, not about the "NF's emotional", they wholeheartedly (And I learn this word from one of the INTJs I know) _feel_. They being closed with their feelings and being logical is another different thing.


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## ENTrePreneur

Lemxn said:


> INTJs? Seriously? If you really, _really_ know an INTJ in real life you will know they're one of the most emotional types. And you know what I mean, not about the "NF's emotional", they wholeheartedly (And I learn this word from one of the INTJs I know) _feel_. They being closed with their feelings and being logical is another different thing.


^^seconded.. my INTJ feels a lot more than I do.


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## Coeus

Scelerat said:


> I've got a BA in computer science, build excel models in my spare time, have watched every episode of Star Trek and Star Trek TNG, over 200 episodes of "One Piece", and went to school with 25 people who played MMORPGs 12 hours or more each day, and that's still the nerdiest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life.


A model post if you're trying to cultivate the notion of an ENTJ being "coldest." Unfortunately, I would have to agree with that notion. INTJs are not "cold", merely asocial and with their emotional "core" turned inward. Most of my friends are either INTJ or INTP and I see their loyalty and compassion resting below the surface. It is simply not expressed in an NF way as those I know prefer to let their actions "speak" towards their emotional interests. Us ENTJs have similar ideas and yet cannot readily reconcile those beliefs in the face of sheer logic. We're used to being outwardly arrogant, so we look "cold." Applying the extroversion to our emotional appeals looks either insane or endearing depending on the person and situation. Thus, we choose to continue the hyper-intellectual presentation. 

I would say it makes us the coldest personality type externally. We may be better at socializing and we are still driven by our own goals and desires. This combination presents itself as someone who is willing to use others to drive his ambition, whether we want to present that image or not. In contrast, INTJs and INTPs put far more emphasis on their own means.


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## CupcakesRDaBestBruv

entj
intj


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## maIstNermiTnJd

INTJs only let one or two ever reach the gooey center, the rest have miles of bobwire over an icy tundra. I agree that the Es are more emotionally expressional and the Ps are more aware of the identity of said emotion.


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## maIstNermiTnJd

Inev1t4bl3 said:


> I wonder how many of the INTJ votes are from INTJ voters? I would not be surprised if many of the INTJ votes were INTJ's trying to keep up the INTJ reputation of being cold and heartless. INTJ's can't let the word get out that they are nice underneath the rough exterior, otherwise they fear they would get taken advantage of.


The are drones outside your house right now, watching you, because of this statement.


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## athenian200

Scelerat said:


> I've got a BA in computer science, build excel models in my spare time, have watched every episode of Star Trek and Star Trek TNG, over 200 episodes of "One Piece", and went to school with 25 people who played MMORPGs 12 hours or more each day, and that's still the nerdiest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life.





Coeus said:


> A model post if you're trying to cultivate the notion of an ENTJ being "coldest."


Actually, nothing in that post suggests coldness from my perspective...

I'm working towards a Computer Science degree because I want to do volunteer work and see the smiles on people's faces when they tell me how much nicer I am than the arrogant IT departments that usually fix their computers. 

I've not only watched all of TOS and TNG, but also ENT, VOY, DS9, and the animated series. The reason is that it talks a lot about human potential, has fascinating ideals, and models a lot about the psyche, social issues... and allows me to be part of a community of people who are more open-minded than your average church-goers. 

I enjoy MMORPGs and D&D, because I enjoy the company of imaginative people and the freedom of creating a new persona for myself that allows me to try out new ways of expressing myself without the normal consequences. There's a real sense of danger, teamwork, and bonding going on when dealing with virtual threats as a party, that you don't get out of everyday talking over lunch.

One Piece? That seems like fairly run of the mill anime, not the most interesting stuff. No offense, but I'd rather watch Serial Experiments Lain and Ghost in the Shell any day. xD


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## CodeGuru

Come now, we're not all that cold. We're just _truthful_.
For example, _in response to a generic question..._
Yes, you look fat in that dress. And it's not the dress, it's your ass that's making you look fat.
Here is a list of foods and exercises that you want to look into.

Now wait a second. This might sound cold at face, but look beneath the superficial implications of those words (the unfortunate blokes who are unable to do this frustrate me to no end).
Instead, look deeply into the _purpose_ of _why _we would say such a thing. To help, we must address things honestly. Think carefully about that. With this line of thinking, we find the people who lie and say _"Of course not, honey. You look wonderful"_ to their wives as heartless or selfish snakes. A real husband would not only be honest, but try to help. That's why we composed that list. We want her to look in that mirror and tell herself that that she is two sizes too small, rather than the other way around.


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## athenian200

CodeGuru said:


> Come now, we're not all that cold. We're just _truthful_.
> For example, _in response to a generic question..._
> Yes, you look fat in that dress. And it's not the dress, it's your ass that's making you look fat.
> Here is a list of foods and exercises that you want to look into.
> 
> Now wait a second. This might sound cold at face, but look beneath the superficial implications of those words (the unfortunate blokes who are unable to do this frustrate me to no end).
> Instead, look deeply into the _purpose_ of _why _we would say such a thing. To help, we must address things honestly. Think carefully about that. With this line of thinking, we find the people who lie and say _"Of course not, honey. You look wonderful"_ to their wives as heartless or selfish snakes. A real husband would not only be honest, but try to help. That's why we composed that list. We want her to look in that mirror and tell herself that that she is two sizes too small, rather than the other way around.


I can certainly see the positive intentions behind such an action, there's even a certain sweetness about it... but to me it seems a little naïve. I generally live by the following quote:

"Don’t tell your friends their faults. They will correct the fault and never forgive you."

There are exceptions, of course. But in general, I wouldn't do what you do because I fear their negative reactions. Not because I don't think they could benefit from it, but quite frankly, I'm worried about what will happen to me if I help them in that way. I feel incredibly vulnerable when I'm honest with people. Because I'm risking the relationship and making it less likely that they'll help me or back/support me in the future. It damages the potential for future collaboration.

People, in general, are not moved by logic. So, usually the best way to influence them is via shame, pride, persuasion, etc. Getting people to do things that way gives better results than attempting to reason with them. However, I can be honest with people for whom I've developed intellectual respect, which is something that takes a bit of trust to earn from me... especially in real life. But the majority of people are better engaged with sensitivity and a thought to your reputation, than with reason. You keep your wits about you when you're alone, certainly... use them for yourself. But it's inappropriate to show off your intelligence in public, as it makes others feel stupid and really doesn't get you anywhere with most of them.

But yeah, anyway... good luck with not being seen as cold. If the other poll is any indication, INFJs are seen as cold by our NF peers, even though we make a concerted effort not to be. Not sure I can say there's much hope for you INTJs, then. Maybe people find that Ni is just THAT horrible and cold, that nothing you do can really make up for having it as your dominant function? It sure seems like it.


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## Faygo

I have a friend who is an INTJ and he's very insensitive without meaning to be so. For this reason I say INTJ.


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## Empty

Coldness is not that same as dryness. 

INTPs and ENTPs are not dry, but they can be extremely cold. The ENTP will make you feel or think he enjoys your presence, when he may simply be using you to further his own enjoyment and really not care if you die the next day. A bit cold, if you ask me.

The INTP will compartmentalize his Ti and Fe (dominant; inferior), completely remove the human element from the scrutiny of Ti and while outwardly being cordial or even friendly, really sees most people as objects to be studied as a detached, apathetic observer. Quite cold as well.

INTJs and ENTJs are usually more dry with their coldness - the appearance of coldness, physically. Fi is naturally introverted - non-physically expressive - when it is in the tertiary or inferior place, it will manifest itself even less. The INTJ is actually not a judger, like the ENTP. 

I this sense, I think the INTP and ENTJ are the coldest if speaking purely of cognition - Ti and Te are in a permanent state of making judgments, evaluations, and analyses. The more detached they are, the less there is of a human element, the better they function and usually, the happier the INTP/ENTJ feels. The INTJ and ENTP, in terms of cognition, are "less cold," because they are not consciously making logical, detached and dehumanized judgments about the objects they are scrutinizing.

In terms of physical appearance, or a "cold appearance," ENTPs and ENTJs may appear to be the warmest on the surface, followed by the INTP due to inferior Fe. The INTJ, due to strong introversion for both Ni and Fi, usually appears to be the coldest. They are really just the most introverted regarding their Feeling and Intuition, and their Thinking function is detached, logical, and without the human element.


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## Derange At 170

CodeGuru said:


> Come now, we're not all that cold. We're just _truthful_.
> For example, _in response to a generic question..._
> Yes, you look fat in that dress. And it's not the dress, it's your ass that's making you look fat.
> Here is a list of foods and exercises that you want to look into.
> 
> Now wait a second. This might sound cold at face, but look beneath the superficial implications of those words (the unfortunate blokes who are unable to do this frustrate me to no end).
> Instead, look deeply into the _purpose_ of _why _we would say such a thing. To help, we must address things honestly. Think carefully about that. With this line of thinking, we find the people who lie and say _"Of course not, honey. You look wonderful"_ to their wives as heartless or selfish snakes. A real husband would not only be honest, but try to help. That's why we composed that list. We want her to look in that mirror and tell herself that that she is two sizes too small, rather than the other way around.


Are you joking?

I agree, there are times where bluntness and being confrontational are more helpful. But others? Not so much. Think about the implication of a question and why it is asked and whether answerting truthfully is productive. Will they just become frustrated/sad/angry and not change their habits, or are they the type of person who will rationally consider what you're saying?

A friend of mine. I don't find her attractive, but she often asks me in so many words if she's attractive. Thing is, she does attract other guys and her self-esteem has JUST started getting better. Why the hell would I sabotage that? I'll just say she's sexy and be done with it. It's more productive than "I don't find you attractive but I'm sure some other guy does!"

Or even with your example. You think a girl trying on a dress and asking for your opinion wants your actual opinion? You think she's standing there looking an awful lot like a wrapped up salami, is asking you a question that could potentially change her outlook on life? Of course not. She's doing it for a peace of mind. All you'd be doing by telling her 'the truth' is frustrating her, possibly make her angry at herself and you, eat her troubles away and then ask her 'bestie' if that dress makes her look fat to feel good about herself.


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## XDS

CodeGuru said:


> This might sound cold at face, but look beneath the superficial implications of those words (the unfortunate blokes who are unable to do this frustrate me to no end).


I don't think *you* have looked beneath the superficial implications of the words. You're evaluating the words individually by their face value.



CodeGuru said:


> Yes, you look fat in that dress.


This is honesty. The wife asked a question and this is its direct answer.



CodeGuru said:


> And it's not the dress, it's your ass that's making you look fat.


This is a completely unnecessary insult. The answer would have been just fine if you had ended after the first sentence, but then you started giving your unwanted opinion.



CodeGuru said:


> Here is a list of foods and exercises that you want to look into.


The wife's goal wasn't even to be thinner. Her goal was to find a dress that fit. The husband is superimposing his own goal of having a thinner wife onto his wife's goal into finding a dress, demeaning his wife's goal and insisting he gets his way as opposed to his wife getting her way.

The answer starts out truthful, but ends up intentionally antagonizing the other person.


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## Razef

I asked one of my best friends (ex-girlfriend , INFP) if she finds me cold. She told me that I appear pretty warm, actually.
She said that because most of the time when I talk to people I pretend that I'm taking an interest, but really I don't give a damn about what they're saying and just want the conversation to be over, unless it's something interesting ofcourse. I told her that; she said that even though it's considered polite, she sees it as warm instead of cold, because I'm not insulting or offending anyone.


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## Pendit76

I think INTJs just appear to be cold because they seem so "Spock like". They focus on logic and can appear robotic at times. The INTJ I know is pretty warm, and she actually cares about people. She smiles and likes to have fun. I'm much, much more cold than she is. ENTJs, it seems, can dish out insults pretty well due to our coldness. I rarely engage in trash talk, because if I do, I will hurt some feelings. I know how to hurt your feelings well, and I will use that to my advantage. I don't mind people insulting me, because I have high self esteem, don't care about the opinions of others, and don't want to look like a hypocrite. 

Us ENTJs also take pride in our coldness, which is fine. We are the only type that seems to relish in the hatred of us, because most of us don't mind the hate. I love being hated, personally. We are not particularly empathetic either, and we can disconnect very easily from the real of the subjective and feeling into the world of objectivity.


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## CodeGuru

XDS said:


> I don't think *you* have looked beneath the superficial implications of the words. You're evaluating the words individually by their face value.
> 
> 
> This is honesty. The wife asked a question and this is its direct answer.
> 
> 
> This is a completely unnecessary insult. The answer would have been just fine if you had ended after the first sentence, but then you started giving your unwanted opinion.
> 
> 
> The wife's goal wasn't even to be thinner. Her goal was to find a dress that fit. The husband is superimposing his own goal of having a thinner wife onto his wife's goal into finding a dress, demeaning his wife's goal and insisting he gets his way as opposed to his wife getting her way.
> 
> The answer starts out truthful, but ends up intentionally antagonizing the other person.


Woah there! I admire your effort in deconstructing my intentions, but you've made two fatal assertions. You've misinterpreted my second sentence, and asserted a false premise in the third. Let's start with the second. Alright, I understand how you've arrived at the insult bit. But I only said 'ass' in that sentence for two reasons. First, and most importantly, to emphasize the demeanor *here*, for the readers. Secondly, to make an important point that, as it is frankly says, that it is the person and not the dress that doesn't fit. This leads me to the third sentence which integrates the idea I'm trying to get across. I was indeed implying *exactly* that the wife was trying to make her appearance look thinner by getting a new dress and that it wasn't the dress she cared for. This, and the fact that she was asking her husband this question to emotionally reconcile for her less-than-perfect looks. With this, I am implying that the husband understands her emotional discomfort, and narrated that a husband who cared more for her long term well-being than for his selfish desire to see her feel better and his own emotional closure by lying to her, and instead selflessly put his own emotions aside (and take the beating later) to properly assess the problem. As delphi367 intuited, he was trying to be sweet by telling her the truth so that the wife could be happy in the future, instead of evade it and perpetuate the problem that is causing her to suffer.


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## intjonn

*Which of the NTs is the coldest emotionally?*


Chinchilla said:


> A simple question really. I would say INTJ or ENTPs are the coldest.


As opposed to............which NT is the coldest UNemotionally?

*​<<<<<<-----------------------Take it frum a koon!*


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