# Do you yearn for social acceptance?



## Priva (Mar 6, 2013)

As long as the people I care about like me, I'm content (that said, if someone I care about didn't like me, but I did, that'd be fine). However I imagine if no one "accepted" me, I would direct my attention outwards. Do you need social acceptance? Not in an efficiency sense, but in a personal sense. As in, if people respected you and did what you said but didn't like you, would you care? Is this an Fi vs Fe thing, or is that irrelevant?


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## Snow (Oct 19, 2010)

Everyone needs a level of acceptance, even NTs. Some deny it more than others, but ultimately we all do on some level.


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## Maximus Deus (Jun 8, 2013)

I only want to be respected by those I respect.


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## popo.the.penguin (Jul 30, 2013)

I would love to be socially accepted ... only to the extent that it facilitates what I want to do in life.


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## alienambassador (Mar 20, 2013)

Some people you don't want to like you, just a thought.


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## Scribbler (Jul 10, 2013)

"Social acceptance" presupposes a certain notion of society, and of acceptance. There are different types of both. If you'd been a Nazi party official in 1930s Germany or a slave owner in 19th century America you would have been socially accepted. We need to get along with people, but we also need to know who we are, and value things because we truly believe them, not because it's what everybody else does.


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## Kips (Jul 10, 2012)

I yearn (not sure about "yearn", maybe more "would like" or "would prefer") for not being condemned. Whether that comes as social acceptance or as indifference from others doesn't matter to me.


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## downsowf (Sep 12, 2011)

Being well-liked makes things a lot easier, but I wouldn't compromise my values for external validation. Ultimately, I do want people to like me, and I think I can be pretty charming when I want to. I don't desire to control people and tell them what to do. I think what it comes down to is that I consider myself accepting of all individuals until they give me a reason not to be; I expect the same consideration given to me. Like someone said above me, though, having a certain group of people like you might say something negative about your character. So not all acceptance is equal. What I mean is that while acceptance is desirable, the type of acceptance desired should coincide with your personal values. We should be selective with who we desire acceptance from.


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## John Coltrane (May 11, 2013)

Ironically there have been times when I've tried to be liked & please people so much that I've made them not like me in the process. So now I just don't. My theory is that if you try to be liked or don't try, people are inevitably not going to like or like you regardless.


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## Shazzette (May 26, 2012)

No, but sometimes I yearn for understanding.


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## shifty (Aug 4, 2013)

Shazzette said:


> No, but sometimes I yearn for understanding.


I had major problems with an ESTP and an ENTP 5 years ago, when I was able to solve a problem in an unorthodox way (and prevent four deaths) by seeing the connections and applying depth of critical thinking to stuff they hadn't spotted because the ESTP were focusing too much on available facts and social acceptance stuff (and missing the potential danger), while the ENTP was continually and arrogantly pouncing on inaccurate possibilities of a situation that it wasn't bothering to attempt to really understand and supported it's ESTP friend's perspective. They were both skilled at making their associates believe their viewpoint that made things difficult for me. Although, I remained calm and detected flaws in their approaches. Which only annoyed them. Although, once again I was eventually shown to be right. While it might be useful to be understood more, I don't yearn for acceptance.


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## Omniscient (Aug 15, 2013)

HAHAHAHAHAHA social acceptance
"acceptance" ahahahahahah


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

shifty said:


> I had major problems with an ESTP and an ENTP 5 years ago, when I was able to solve a problem in an unorthodox way (and prevent four deaths) by seeing the connections and applying depth of critical thinking to stuff they hadn't spotted because the ESTP were focusing too much on available facts and social acceptance stuff (and missing the potential danger), while the ENTP was continually and arrogantly pouncing on inaccurate possibilities of a situation that *it* wasn't bothering to attempt to really understand and supported *it*'s ESTP friend's perspective. They were both skilled at making their associates believe their viewpoint that made things difficult for me. Although, I remained calm and detected flaws in their approaches. Which only annoyed them. Although, once again I was eventually shown to be right. While it might be useful to be understood more, I don't yearn for acceptance.


These are people, not 'it's'. And I've seen INTP's come to the wrong conclusion in the past. So what? Looking for social acceptance doesn't first require becoming less intelligent.


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## shifty (Aug 4, 2013)

Oh, I usually use "it" for security purposes.


monemi said:


> So what?


I almost ended up dead.


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

shifty said:


> Oh, I usually use "it" for security purposes.
> 
> I almost ended up dead.


Anecdote isn't data.


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## Json221 (Aug 9, 2013)

I need 3-4 close friends and about 10 regular friends, just so my social life is relatively diverse and I don't become stagnant.

Social acceptance past that? I don't give a shit! :happy:


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## shifty (Aug 4, 2013)

monemi said:


> Anecdote isn't data.


Dunno. I've yet to find amusement when being faced with choices that have the potential to/or are _going to_ unnecessarily terminate people's lives. Especially when "social acceptance" worsens the situation.


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## Kaitlin Lilith (Aug 13, 2013)

I yearn for social "go the hell away." 

Ostracism doesn't bother me (I would've died in high school if it did), but people who decide to pursue me with their negativity are infinitely irritating. 
If you like me, great! Let's discuss classic literature between long periods of silence. 
If you dislike me, do so quietly and from at least three yards away. Your distaste is bleaching my hair.


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

shifty said:


> Dunno. I've yet to find amusement when being faced with choices that have the potential to/or are _going to_ unnecessarily terminate people's lives. Especially when "social acceptance" worsens the situation.


One anecdote of two idiot ESTP's and ENTP's has shit to do with social acceptance. I question your intelligence if this is beyond your comprehension. And just because you fail to see that, doesn't mean I should conclude that you and anyone that rejects attempting to seek social acceptance presume isolated experiences as the optimal way to view society as a whole. Because that would just be reactionary and narrow minded on my part and using faulty logic.


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## Caged Within (Aug 9, 2013)

For me, pleasant feelings come about when I feel accepted. It's not really something I yearn for though. If it's there, then great. If not, which is typically the case, then oh well.


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