# Wedding or Honeymoon?



## desert lynx (Apr 11, 2012)

Obviously one normally doesn't happen without the other, but which one are/were you more excited about? Which one would you rather spend more money on?


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## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

Honeymoon for sure! I'd be happy going down to the courthouse if it means we can take a trip somewhere. I've always wanted to take my time traveling across picturesque Canada on the train, from West to East. Enjoying the scenery & the company.


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## DudeGuy (Aug 5, 2013)

Honeymoon, of course. Weddings are for family.


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## Rascal01 (May 22, 2016)

Honeymoon.

A wedding is where someone passes out from stress or anxiety

A honeymoon is where someone passes out from drinking to excess or having too much fun.

Divorce court is where the groom passes out after getting the bill for the breakup.

Enjoy the honeymoon while you can.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Who really cares about the wedding? It's just the ceremony where everyone gets dressed up. The honeymoon is where all the fun is.


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## daleks_exterminate (Jul 22, 2013)

We were married at 9am on a Thursday because that time was free. 

However for our honeymoon, we spent a couple of weeks in the Czech Republic. It was so much fun! We also did this right BEFORE our wedding because it fit better with our schedules lol


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## desert lynx (Apr 11, 2012)

daleks_exterminate said:


> We were married at 9am on a Thursday because that time was free.
> 
> However for our honeymoon, we spent a couple of weeks in the Czech Republic. It was so much fun! We also did this right BEFORE our wedding because it fit better with our schedules lol


That place is pretty amazing--I want to go back.


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## Janna (Aug 31, 2018)

We spent much more money on the wedding than the honeymoon, but I wasn't excited about the wedding at all. It was important for the person I was marrying, so I did it, but to me the wedding was just a lot of stress and worrying about money.

The honeymoon to Italy was great, and I was very relieved that the wedding was over.


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## Snowflake Minuet (Feb 20, 2016)

I can't say I've thought about a honeymoon that much, though I've always felt a simple wedding would be the best regardless. 

So the honeymoon is an easy choice. Traveling is one of the greatest joys in life for me, for almost any reason.


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## Sour Roses (Dec 30, 2015)

** Dress **

^ Can't help it! I am female.
Not strong enough to deny duchess silk satin when it's staring me in the face. Just. Not. That. Strong.

Simple, small ceremony. Low key, relaxing honeymoon. Any money not spent on the dress should be for liquor & food at wedding so everyone remembers, earns favors later. Or so one would hope, lol.


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## Gossip Goat (Nov 19, 2013)

Honeymoon because the wedding would stress me out.


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## JennyJukes (Jun 29, 2012)

I wouldn't mind a simple courtroom wedding but honestly I want a dress and to look pretty for a day! I'd choose a honeymoon and agree, if family want a big family affair they can pay for it themselves. And organize it, that shit stressful.


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## AR4 (Jan 12, 2019)

The wedding. Because honeymoon.. that can be chosen to be the rest of the life


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## Eren Jaegerbomb (Nov 13, 2015)

I've never been married but I hate PDA (with a partner) and intimate stuff is strictly private, so, honeymoon.


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## FeliciteM (Nov 6, 2017)

I'd definitely be more excited for the wedding because to me it is more than just a piece of paper. That being said...I'd spend more money on the honeymoon. I live for new experiences!


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## Monadnock (May 27, 2017)

Can't have one without the other.


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

tanstaafl28 said:


> Who really cares about the wedding? It's just the ceremony where everyone gets dressed up. The honeymoon is where all the fun is.



Yes
The staying up all night eating cake and ice cream while drinking soda while watching a Walt Disney movie:laughing:


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## Queen of Cups (Feb 26, 2010)

Neither. 

We took the exorbitant amount of money my parents were going to spend on both and bought our first house. (A fixer upper we sold for much more than we paid).


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

vinniebob said:


> Yes
> The staying up all night eating cake and ice cream while drinking soda while watching a Walt Disney movie:laughing:


That's not how our honeymoon went. We boinked, went swimming, went out for pizza, boinked some more, and then took a trip to the Adirondacks (and Montreal) for a week. Then we boinked some more. Brought back Canadian beer and Cuban cigars too. Then we boinked some more.


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

tanstaafl28 said:


> That's not how our honeymoon went. We boinked, went swimming, went out for pizza, boinked some more, and then took a trip to the Adirondacks (and Montreal) for a week. Then we boinked some more. Brought back Canadian beer and Cuban cigars too. Then we boinked some more.


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## Mange (Jan 9, 2011)

I don't plan on having a big wedding. I really don't want any wedding at all but if my gf wants a ceremony we'll do a very small one with immediate family. I just experienced the stress of my sister's large wedding last year and it was just too much with the planning and the invites and all the bullshit. It actually all turned out great but the stress drove her up the wall until the day of the wedding. 

So anyways a small ceremony, then a few days of a honeymoon. My grandmother owns 2 vacation houses that she rents out and would let us stay for free so I wanna do that. 

Im looking forward to *being* married in general. That first then the honeymoon then the ceremony in that order are what I'm most excited about.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

In theory for sake of topic-Small and intimate, Destination Wedding sounds most ideal


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## Ttalkkugjil (Feb 1, 2017)

As Christians, the wedding was more meaningful to us as it was a worship service. Nothing's better than getting together with friends and family to worship God.


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## Lucan1010 (Jul 23, 2018)

Honestly hoping my future wife will be someone who wants to skip the wedding. Too much money and people.


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## Introvertia (Feb 6, 2016)

Honeymoon without wedding = perfection.


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## Forest Nymph (Aug 25, 2018)

A honeymoon without a wedding is called a "vacation." I also disapprove of the exploitative, imperialist goals a lot of Westerners have for their honeymoons, "hey honey let's go sun ourselves in a third world country and have cute little people of color bring us cocktails." 

So wedding. But I also don't want an "American" wedding. I would prefer something small on a beach or in the woods, that was intimate and meaningful.


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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)

I am not getting married to please others so...I will be getting married wherever I plan on having a honeymoon. Who is there is there and who is not well...that is their fault.


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## Jaune (Jul 11, 2013)

I hate the idea of having a wedding, so honeymoon by default. Sounds like it could make a great vacation.


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## Surreal Snake (Nov 17, 2009)

ewwww


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

desert lynx said:


> Obviously one normally doesn't happen without the other, but which one are/were you more excited about? Which one would you rather spend more money on?


Definitely would rather spend more money on the honeymoon.

Wedding is symbolic, and so the symbols all have to be in place. Honeymoon is more about enjoying and spending time with each other, and what really gets each of you off (or makes you tick or whatever)...each of your enjoyment being the ticket.

So I would much rather spend more money on a honeymoon.



Forest Nymph said:


> So wedding. But I also don't want an "American" wedding. I would prefer something small on a beach or in the woods, that was intimate and meaningful.


Lots of Americans also have weddings that are small or on the beach or in the woods, and are intimate and meaningful. Not to mention, you can also honeymoon in the US.


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## Blue Ribbon (Sep 4, 2016)

desert lynx said:


> Obviously one normally doesn't happen without the other, but which one are/were you more excited about? Which one would you rather spend more money on?


My dream is to get married quietly at a church, and then to go somewhere cheep yet interesting for a honey moon. I'm really minimalistic, and I plan on making my own dress, without any kind of jewelry. I'd like to go camping or on a road trip for my honeymoon. Thankfully my fiancee agrees to it. 



Forest Nymph said:


> A honeymoon without a wedding is called a "vacation." I also disapprove of the exploitative, imperialist goals a lot of Westerners have for their honeymoons, "hey honey let's go sun ourselves in a third world country and have cute little people of color bring us cocktails."
> 
> So wedding. But I also don't want an "American" wedding. I would prefer something small on a beach or in the woods, that was intimate and meaningful.


As a person from a third world country, I am grateful for the westerners that spend their hard earned money in my country. Tourism is a boost to a lot of economies. I wouldn't discourage white people from doing that.


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## Forest Nymph (Aug 25, 2018)

MeltedSorbet said:


> Definitely would rather spend more money on the honeymoon.
> 
> Wedding is symbolic, and so the symbols all have to be in place. Honeymoon is more about enjoying and spending time with each other, and what really gets each of you off (or makes you tick or whatever)...each of your enjoyment being the ticket.
> 
> ...


It's become a stereotype here for middle class people to put themselves or their parents entirely into debt on a "fairy tale" wedding, and sometimes people want the wedding more than they actually want the marriage. Since the 1950s or so, weddings have increasingly become an entire industry.

As for honeymooning in the US, of course this I know that people honeymoon here too - and there's nothing wrong with honeymooning in a foreign country, that's not what I'm saying - but it has again become a secondary step at playing rich global imperialist. It's more about mimicking celebrity culture or royalty for a couple weeks or a month, than celebrating the union.


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## Forest Nymph (Aug 25, 2018)

Blue Ribbon said:


> As a person from a third world country, I am grateful for the westerners that spend their hard earned money in my country. Tourism is a boost to a lot of economies. I wouldn't discourage white people from doing that.


I can see definitely how a less economically stable country could become dependent on Western tourism - but there's still something deeply wrong with the entitled, imperialist mindset that accompanies a lot of fantasy honeymoons. I'm NOT saying it's wrong to travel, to be a tourist, or to spend money in another country - I am saying American Exceptionalism is fucking wrong.


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## Mange (Jan 9, 2011)

It's not wrong to travel and be a tourist, it's _fucking_ wrong. [email protected] Nymph


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

Forest Nymph said:


> It's become a stereotype here for middle class people to put themselves or their parents entirely into debt on a "fairy tale" wedding, and sometimes people want the wedding more than they actually want the marriage. Since the 1950s or so, weddings have increasingly become an entire industry.
> 
> As for honeymooning in the US, of course this I know that people honeymoon here too - and there's nothing wrong with honeymooning in a foreign country, that's not what I'm saying - but it has again become a secondary step at playing rich global imperialist. It's more about mimicking celebrity culture or royalty for a couple weeks or a month, than celebrating the union.


I think I can see what you're saying--I've heard that weddings can be difficult to photograph for because of the mindset that some clients get in--about wanting everything perfect. And that is part of the industry I am sure, because it is supposed to be all about you and your partner. 

I imagine if one was to travel to another country, it'd be important to be respectful of the customs and remember it's not all about them on the honeymoon. That it's still engagement with another place, different people. It may be a special time in your life, but that doesn't eclipse being a guest in another country.

It kind of reminds me of a little news article I read today, about park officials in one of the preserves being pissed because a couple helicoptered into a field of flowers that was off trail. Like yes--it's fine to explore nature, to value it, and to appreciate it. But this world is about more than just you and your photo opportunity. When things get more popular, demanding people who aren't being considerate or respectful can ruin the experience for others. I read that in another park, there was so many people coming in to see the flowers and post pictures on social media that it was getting super chaotic, the flowers were getting trampled, and even one park staff was hit and run.

So it's like...in principle it's great to appreciate nature and flowers, and the huge rains. But people should remember, when in an environment that they aren't experts in, to be cautious and considerate and to respect and listen to those around them. Because life isn't just about selfies--the flowers will still be growing in those areas when they are not blooming. 

But it can be hard, when something suddenly becomes popular, to also educate people, and to facilitate people enjoying themselves and having those special moments without coming into conflict with what they are appreciating. And the wedding industry probably focuses more on catering to the clients fantasies in a way that might not create the most genuine experience. I don't think it's exclusive to America though. Tourists can just be annoying, regardless of where they are coming from, unless they make an effort to be respectful.

Idk--I'm not absolutely sure if that's what you're talking about. I live in an area that gets a lot of tourism from other places (including other places in California) and there's always this kind of love/hate thing--like I am glad people want to appreciate nature and stuff, but don't leve trash all over the beachplease or just act entitled. I think tourism is wonderful--but it's best when people are being respectful and they have a receptive attitude (after all...that's the point of visiting a place, because you value it and the environment there (and there are people who live there year round, so respect that culture there too)).


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## Forest Nymph (Aug 25, 2018)

MeltedSorbet said:


> I think I can see what you're saying--I've heard that weddings can be difficult to photograph for because of the mindset that some clients get in--about wanting everything perfect. And that is part of the industry I am sure, because it is supposed to be all about you and your partner.
> 
> I imagine if one was to travel to another country, it'd be important to be respectful of the customs and remember it's not all about them on the honeymoon. That it's still engagement with another place, different people. It may be a special time in your life, but that doesn't eclipse being a guest in another country.
> 
> ...


Yes you are getting what I am saying I think, and what you are talking about with parks and beaches was an ethical matter constantly discussed in some of my classes while I studied Environmental Science due to my specialization track, I got more emphasis on the cultural and people side on top of the core science. People who want to be teachers, interpreters, rangers and advocates have to personally deal with the reality of use and enjoyment vs. conservation/preservation. And I think a lot of Americans are inherently disrespectful in other countries, particularly developing countries, which is how we got our reputation as "stupid Americans" and "fat Americans." 

I think travel and learning about other cultures is a wonderful thing. But I wonder about white dudes who lived in Asia for a year who don't even own a pair of chopsticks when they get back home. Or the guy on YouTube who taught in China, but was overjoyed to see a Pizza Hut of all godforsaken things. I'm just like look if you're just going abroad to tra la la "the world is my oyster, look at me ma" and you're not a teenager, perhaps you should rethink the way you regard other cultures, countries and human beings who are different from yourself...and this rude attitude absolutely extends to the environment in US. People in Canada don't litter in parks or on the side of scenic byways the way people in the US do. It's cultural. It's taught. It's terrible.

Tourists (and humans in general) can be terrible no matter where they're from, but when you collectively have a culture of people with such an enormous buffoon-like sense of entitlement, it's just cringe-worthy.


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## Blue Ribbon (Sep 4, 2016)

Forest Nymph said:


> I can see definitely how a less economically stable country could become dependent on Western tourism - but there's still something deeply wrong with the entitled, imperialist mindset that accompanies a lot of fantasy honeymoons. I'm NOT saying it's wrong to travel, to be a tourist, or to spend money in another country - I am saying American Exceptionalism is fucking wrong.


Oh lol maybe it's an American thing that I just don't understand. Ftr, weddings are like that in India too. There's a lot of imitation of Bollywood culture and people do go into debt celebrating weddings. I want to remove myself from the trend really. You're right in that it should be about the union. We don't have a culture of honeymooning that's really that prevalent, I guess. None of the people I know who got married even went anywhere special. It's usually getting straight back to work after marriage. Here's a funny video from AIB about Indian weddings if you're interested. You can turn on the subtitles: 






At least in the US, it's about the couple getting what they want. Here it's literally done to meet some non existent societal standard. The bride/groom just mechanically take part in the ceremony with arranged marriages and all that.


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## Steelight (Mar 15, 2017)

I could do without a honeymoon honestly


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## Percy (Apr 9, 2019)

I would like to say honeymoon. But unfortunately, I had the opposite situation. :sad:


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## Peppermint Mocha (Jun 19, 2011)

Honeymoon 

Wedding is the more formal part. Honeymoon is where the real fun is at. Lots of laughter and filled with good times


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