# No one on this forum likes me.



## xisnotx (Mar 20, 2014)

Swede said:


> .
> 
> My 2 cents. Do with the as you please.


I guess, who knows? I think my wife would find it funny..first, I assume shes a prostitute and shes offended, then I offer her a penny so shes more offended, but then she realizes I never really thought she was a prostitute if I was only going to give her a penny, and that the whole thing was just a way of saying youre pretty and I was just finding a way to mess with you..

Yeah, it didnt work even back then..but the overall point was that if you know you can say anything then you know you can say something.

I think, you know sx/so/sp..Im sx dominant, so individuals, one on one, Im really ok with and its my favourite way of interacting with people. So is where Im having trouble. I cant find a good group of people to associate with. I think part of it is, having grown up in two vastly different cultures, I have always felt disconnected from everyone I know..different from everybody around me, even my parents, always the outsider, always the exception. except for my siblings, I love my siblings.

Anyway Im rambling..


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## Brian1 (May 7, 2011)

You must be likable to be liked.


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## xisnotx (Mar 20, 2014)

Brian1 said:


> You must be likable to be liked.


Its hard enough just trying to be myself...


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## Fumetsu (Oct 7, 2015)

xisnotx said:


> Wow, Im such a loner that it hurts. On this forum and in real life. I have no friends where I have moved to, and the people I have met I rather not associate with. I mean, pimps and whores, drug dealers and crooks, swindlers, gangsters, gangbangers...but Im not like that and I dont like such people. Im kind of like a church boy without the church. Its good to do right and its right to do good, God or not. But it makes me lonely because people I dont see are good. So, today I get randomly invited to a party and I say I would go..but I dont feel like being in a room full of people I dont know. People are right, I dont really associate with lots of people, I find I dont want or need to. The good news is, that means all I really need is one good friend. I dont really care if everyone likes me but I need at least someone to like me. Im human too you know


Yes, it is so difficult being a paragon of virtue. These wmen must be blind not to see the pure-white-light you emit as you joke about them prostitutes.

My Dad is kind of like that- no tact what so ever. I once tried to level with him by telling him a joke from Family " Take it up with my butt because he's the only one who gives a crap." Which he took aa a green light to make about hit "Dick cheese."...to his daughter. yeah.

Point being, I know you don't mean any harm but those kind of jokes are okay with your wife but not to strangers. Not at all. As trite as it sounds, think before you speak. You might just see it as friendly, but others really don't.


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## xisnotx (Mar 20, 2014)

Fumetsu said:


> Yes, it is so difficult being a paragon of virtue. These wmen must be blind not to see the pure-white-light you emit as you joke about them prostitutes.
> 
> My Dad is kind of like that- no tact what so ever. I once tried to level with him by telling him a joke from Family " Take it up with my butt because he's the only one who gives a crap." Which he took aa a green light to make about hit "Dick cheese."...to his daughter. yeah.
> 
> Point being, I know you don't mean any harm but those kind of jokes are okay with your wife but not to strangers. Not at all. As trite as it sounds, think before you speak. You might just see it as friendly, but others really don't.


No one is talking about women. Im talking about people in general. There is no hope for me with women, I gave up that dream a long time ago. They want too much and I cant give it to them, so ah well. Money, attention, sympathy...I cant do it so I give up. The stress women cause me is not worth the effort, so I dont even try. With women, Im always doing something wrong or bad so Ive pretty much done them a favor and removed myself from their lives, at least in that capacity. Still, a friend to pass the time til death would be nice..yes? What I mean to say with the title is nobody likes me in a platonic sense. In the romantic sense, its already been well established women dont like me and Im tired of fighting it. With women, it is what it is...I already gave up.


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## TheProphetLaLa (Aug 18, 2014)

Guilty as charged.


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## mangodelic psycho (Jan 12, 2015)

Dude, who wants a bunch of misfits to like them? Go find some normal people to impress.


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## Fumetsu (Oct 7, 2015)

xisnotx said:


> No one is talking about women. Im talking about people in general. There is no hope for me with women, I gave up that dream a long time ago. They want too much and I cant give it to them, so ah well. Money, attention, sympathy...I cant do it so I give up. The stress women cause me is not worth the effort, so I dont even try. With women, Im always doing something wrong or bad so Ive pretty much done them a favor and removed myself from their lives, at least in that capacity. Still, a friend to pass the time til death would be nice..yes? What I mean to say with the title is nobody likes me in a platonic sense. In the romantic sense, its already been well established women dont like me and Im tired of fighting it. With women, it is what it is...I already gave up.


I wasn't talking about women either. I was saying that as an example that kind of humor is not usually appreciated.


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## xisnotx (Mar 20, 2014)

TheProphetLaLa said:


> Guilty as charged.


Yeah, I know. But it's mutual so from you, it's ok. I don't like you much either.


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## series0 (Feb 18, 2013)

Mental types ... and keep in mind I do not know your type, are annoying to everyone, even often other mental types. (Your avatar name @xisnotx starts that ball rolling immediately. I'll wager you are a mental type. If you aren't I would change your way too mental avatar. My own avatar sounds mental, but I am an anger type so it is not always true and I may be selling myself short having a mental sounding avatar.)

When I say mental types I mean enneatypes 5, 6, and 7. Their primary motivating emotion is fear. They tend to be nervous and tedious. They make others around them uncomfortable. Also, because they are a mental type, even if their base intelligence is lower, they sound and behave as if smarter. That is intimidating in some ways to a lot of other people. So, even more off-putting. 

Unless a group is flat dedicated to mental activities or the mental type person is just amazingly charismatic, they will not be as accepted or mesh as well in the group dynamic. I have noticed this for decades and was overjoyed when the enneagram gave me a basis for understanding as to why. Even in mental groups the leader is usually a heart or gut type that is just smart rather than one of the pure mentals. Check it out and see if you agree. 

This process carries through into writing and social media as well. 

I use this example often enough and it has some relevance to this topic: Admiration is a recipe that involves mostly just the concept of comfort. Deny that if you will, but I contend it is deeply true. The rank and file people out there all love it when a sports hero does their thing. They love it because when the great moment happens, they understand what happened. It is comfortable. 

But when a fearful or smart person does something of moment, hell, even a quick-witted joke, a lot of the audience completely misses what just happened. They may laugh because everyone else is laughing. They may even respect the skill shown. But their lack of surrounding comprehension puts them off of a comfort zone. It alienates them. And then ... you are alienated.

Fear base makes people fear you.
Anger base makes people angry at you.
Desire base makes people desire you. 

You say you want to be desired? Hmmmm .... Don't be so sure.

Those last three assertions I made show you why cultures that are themselves expressive of a personality type rooted in desire last longer. They are admired, they are liked, even if that like is more akin to angry sex than love. It's still desire. The enneatype 3 culture is super enduring as a paradigm for this reason. It is more powerful and centered than the 2 or 4 types. Less likely to die as a martyr or go all moody/goth on you.


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## series0 (Feb 18, 2013)

As with all personality types your ego trance is your cross to bear. Stop being so very you and you will heal. Integrate the lesser vectors of your personality so you can thrive.


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## Toru Okada (May 10, 2011)

Swede said:


> Checks out xisnotx's profile.
> Thanks given = 245.
> Say no more.


How about Fucks Given?


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## Kurt Wagner (Aug 2, 2014)

xisnotx said:


> Wow, Im such a loner that it hurts. On this forum and in real life. I have no friends where I have moved to, and the people I have met I rather not associate with. I mean, pimps and whores, drug dealers and crooks, swindlers, gangsters, gangbangers...but Im not like that and I dont like such people. Im kind of like a church boy without the church. Its good to do right and its right to do good, God or not. But it makes me lonely because people I dont see are good. So, today I get randomly invited to a party and I say I would go..but I dont feel like being in a room full of people I dont know. People are right, I dont really associate with lots of people, I find I dont want or need to. The good news is, that means all I really need is one good friend. I dont really care if everyone likes me but I need at least someone to like me. Im human too you know


Be who you like to be, and people will start seeing what's good in you. If living in this place makes you so uneasy then find a way to get out: it will be time well spent.

Stop trying to only make people like you and focus on being nice to them for their sake too. Try to talk about something that might be of interest but move on if the conversation doesn't lead anywhere, most of the time it doesn't. Listen to what other people have to say and be careful with what you say, so you don't hurt or offend them. 

Apologize when you think you did something wrong or hurt somebody, and start working to be a better person for yourself -- it is just as important.



jamaix said:


> Yes, do that. Of course you are human, and most everyone needs someone who cares about them. Don't worry about whether everyone likes you, or even whether most like you, because that won't happen. No matter what you do or say, or even how nice you might strive to be, there will always be some that won't like you.
> 
> Concentrate on finding one really good friend. Personally, I would rather have one really good close personal friend than a lot of people that are just casual acquaintances to hang with. Find someone who has similar interest and values, and focus on being the kind of friend they can count on.


Truth. 



xisnotx said:


> No one is talking about women. Im talking about people in general. There is no hope for me with women, I gave up that dream a long time ago. They want too much and I cant give it to them, so ah well. Money, attention, sympathy...I cant do it so I give up. The stress women cause me is not worth the effort, so I dont even try. With women, Im always doing something wrong or bad so Ive pretty much done them a favor and removed myself from their lives, at least in that capacity. Still, a friend to pass the time til death would be nice..yes? What I mean to say with the title is nobody likes me in a platonic sense. In the romantic sense, its already been well established women dont like me and Im tired of fighting it. With women, it is what it is...I already gave up.


You really have to stop seeing women as having one general personality and taste as well. A woman's mind is just as diverse and unique as any other person's, and it isn't hard to find one who values affection just as much as you seem to.


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## Swede (Apr 2, 2013)

Gore Motel said:


> How about Fucks Given?


Apparently about 5 million or this thread wouldn't exist.


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## SilverFalcon (Dec 18, 2014)

A man must give respect to receive it back.

That is the moral of this thread and a final answer.


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## aef8234 (Feb 18, 2012)

Irrelevant thread irrelevant dude.

Sorry, but that's the truth. No pity laugh for you.


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## xisnotx (Mar 20, 2014)

aef8234 said:


> Irrelevant thread irrelevant dude.
> 
> Sorry, but that's the truth. No pity laugh for you.


Ive told you this before, I really hate your avatar. Maybe I can give you a couple $ so you change it?


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## xisnotx (Mar 20, 2014)

Swede said:


> Apparently about 5 million or this thread wouldn't exist.


I like being liked, its not going to change. Im an E3 I guess its just who I am


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## Kurt Wagner (Aug 2, 2014)

xisnotx said:


> Ive told you this before, I really hate your avatar. Maybe I can give you a couple $ so you change it?


Why do you hate it?


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## Tucken (Dec 13, 2009)

I dont like you either. I dont know you, or anyone else much really. You are all strangers to me and yet I treat all of you so kindly. Come come I make pretty topics. I invite you, thee, YOU, from all the corners of the world. Engage with me, partake, Ill be much friendly, and treat you kindly. the rest is up to you


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## aef8234 (Feb 18, 2012)

xisnotx said:


>












Synchronized landwhaling.
Best of both worlds. Also, again irrelevant, but whatevs.



Luke Skywalker said:


> Why do you hate it?


Probably jealous of the girl's bod.
Or the fact that while she's an ugly manchild with little to no future.
At least she still has a happy family.
Granted her family is disgusting as fuck, but it's their own cohesive brand of ugh.


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## changos (Nov 21, 2011)

xisnotx said:


> Ok, in all seriousness, why dont you people like me? What is wrong with you?


I bet you won't answer my post.

*Question: why "you" don't want to be liked? *I've seen your threads and posted on some, I've also seen other people replying to your posts (me included) and guess what? very little to no interaction from you, that's why I stopped paying attention to your posts. No matter what, reading all your text or interpreting, suggesting, ideas, etc: nothing, so I decided to put my time on other stuff. Managed to kinda measure the kind of posts you interact with, that was enough for me to not-engage.

So, good luck.


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## MuChApArAdOx (Jan 24, 2011)

i can't even.....


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## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

Hey @xisnotx, I know (of) you from around personality boards. I've occasionally found your contributions not to my taste, but other times I've found them valuable, or empathy-evoking, or relatable, or amusing, or insightful. Obviously we've never had any sort of extended one-on-one rapport but I certainly like you well enough, as far as anyone can like anyone over the internet.


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## Kurt Wagner (Aug 2, 2014)

@aef8234

Always loved your avatar. :gentleman:


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## aef8234 (Feb 18, 2012)

Luke Skywalker said:


> @_aef8234_
> 
> Always loved your avatar. :gentleman:


ilubby


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## Kurt Wagner (Aug 2, 2014)

aef8234 said:


> ilubby


:exterminate:


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## Lord Necro (Jun 15, 2014)

Who cares what others think? Not the most popular member myself, but I really could not care less. Your own self is all that really matters.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

xisnotx said:


> Are my thoughts so contrary so as to be rejected? Is my mind so wrong that it can not be stood? You, forum person, I ask of you, why do you not like me? What is it about my comments that leads you to not like me? I want you to like me..who doesn't like to be liked? Like me, dammit, I said like me now!
> 
> Ok, in all seriousness, why dont you people like me? What is wrong with you? I think Im pretty great to be honest. Smart, funny, intelligent, humorous, astute, and laughable. Wise, poignant, affirmatory, correct, boisterous, gregarious, interesting, different, and unique. Im not crazy, Im a !#?*ing table! Im a #?!*ing table!
> 
> Youre making me cry.


stop whining


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## Kurt Wagner (Aug 2, 2014)

Swordsman of Mana said:


> stop whining


I laughed before I read it.


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## Brian1 (May 7, 2011)

xisnotx said:


> Its hard enough just trying to be myself...



I have mild cerebral palsy, so yes, I know that statement well. In the end, that's no excuse, you need to be likable to be liked.


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## xisnotx (Mar 20, 2014)

Luke Skywalker said:


> Why do you hate it?


Its obnoxious, I guess suiting however. The poster himself is obnoxious, hard to argue with, flippant. I guess its a compliment. Still, the avatar is annoying..

I guess it might be that beauty pageant childs mom, but Im not sure. That would make it even more obnoxious but I dont care to figure it out.


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## mangodelic psycho (Jan 12, 2015)

aef8234 said:


> Synchronized landwhaling.
> Best of both worlds. Also, again irrelevant, but whatevs.
> 
> 
> ...



Womanchild got one thing right at least, 'it is what it is'.


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## xisnotx (Mar 20, 2014)

Gore Motel said:


> Sygma is completely wrong.
> 
> The problem here is you do not have an avatar.


Fixed this.

I like it, its also my phone screensaver.

What do you all think?


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## BenevolentBitterBleeding (Mar 16, 2015)

I think you really love love. Stop denying it. Embrace the darkness. And maybe you'll find that others will love your darkness too.


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## aef8234 (Feb 18, 2012)

xisnotx said:


> Its obnoxious, I guess suiting however.


ilubby


> The poster himself is obnoxious, hard to argue with, flippant.


 All the things you are, and yet you keep denying it after admitting it a couple of months ago.


> I guess its a compliment. Still, the avatar is annoying..


That's the point bby.



> I guess it might be that beauty pageant childs mom, but Im not sure. That would make it even more obnoxious but I dont care to figure it out.


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## changos (Nov 21, 2011)

A long long time ago... in a galaxy far far away
there was a board on a site called similarminds (it's now closed, the forum)
and a lot of people used to post, cry, laugh, chat, etc
then a nice user came in called HT, several stories of sadness, rejection
then started talking about suicide... (suicide is NOT a joke)
and no matter what people told him, he ignored positive things

So one day one guy told him "why don't you kill yourself" or something like that
and it was interesting, things got kinda funny for all (including HT)
and we all laughed, including HT about sadness and stuff
it wasn't a bad intention (I think, no, it wasn't me)
so at times, some threads included things like:

"_oh no, HT will see this and will come to say nobody loves him and wants to die_"
and HT came in and made fun of things, it was a good turn


PD. I've been sad and stuff, and at times, sure, I can relate to your stuff, and I wished someone to post on my stuff the way others (and me) post on yours, so I can't understand why you won't interact with people who pay good/positive attention to you unless you want to stay on dark corners on purpose, if that's so, many will turn off their light and walk away, no harm intended, no harm received, peace.


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## Schizoid (Jan 31, 2015)

xisnotx said:


> Are my thoughts so contrary so as to be rejected? Is my mind so wrong that it can not be stood? You, forum person, I ask of you, why do you not like me? What is it about my comments that leads you to not like me? I want you to like me..who doesn't like to be liked? Like me, dammit, I said like me now!
> 
> Ok, in all seriousness, why dont you people like me? What is wrong with you? I think Im pretty great to be honest. Smart, funny, intelligent, humorous, astute, and laughable. Wise, poignant, affirmatory, correct, boisterous, gregarious, interesting, different, and unique. Im not crazy, Im a !#?*ing table! Im a #?!*ing table!
> 
> Youre making me cry.


 
Thanks received - 886

Seems like you have some loyal supporters out there who has been liking all your posts and thanking all your posts all these while
but you probably never noticed them because you are busy focusing your attention on the minority who disliked you. :tongue:

And by the way, how others treat you isn't a reflection of who you are, but it's a reflection of who _*they*_ are. If someone on here treats you like shit, that's because they are a shitty person themselves.


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

xisnotx said:


> Are my thoughts so contrary so as to be rejected? Is my mind so wrong that it can not be stood? You, forum person, I ask of you, why do you not like me? What is it about my comments that leads you to not like me? I want you to like me..who doesn't like to be liked? Like me, dammit, I said like me now!
> 
> Ok, in all seriousness, why dont you people like me? What is wrong with you? I think Im pretty great to be honest. Smart, funny, intelligent, humorous, astute, and laughable. Wise, poignant, affirmatory, correct, boisterous, gregarious, interesting, different, and unique. Im not crazy, Im a !#?*ing table! Im a #?!*ing table!
> 
> Youre making me cry.


I don't know you. I have no opinions on YOU.

However, your posts I find offensive and juvenile as they treat women as objects and appear misogynist to me. 

One specific suggestion is to ASK QUESTIONS of people and try to learn how they view things differently than you do.


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## xisnotx (Mar 20, 2014)

drmiller100 said:


> I don't know you. I have no opinions on YOU.
> 
> However, your posts I find offensive and juvenile as they treat women as objects and appear misogynist to me.
> 
> One specific suggestion is to ASK QUESTIONS of people and try to learn how they view things differently than you do.


Im not a misogynist, I dont dislike women..Im just apathetic towards them, insofar as romantic relationships with them go. The difference is meaningful...

Women to me are like that one annoying friend you had growing up. On the one hand hes annoying, on the other hes still your friend and someone you care for. It doesn't mean you dont want to smack him across the face sometimes, but youve already resigned yourself to the fact that thats just who he is..youre overall apathetic towards his character..you get it?


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## General Lee Awesome (Sep 28, 2014)

Its weird, I have never wondered if people on this forum likes me or not. It does not matter because I am not going to change who I am, base on how other people feels. some people will like me, some people wont. I am just on this forum to share my opinions, and read other people's opinions. if you do not like it, that is fine, I do not need you to like it. I do not worry about that type of stuff


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## Sparkling (Jul 12, 2013)

Hi @*xisnotx*I'm trying to tear down with analyze the whole issue. What's your thoughts about it?
So.. You feel disliked because you feel different? But tbh everyone's different. I have never met two same people, neither character, nor behaviour. We all are unique individuals, so it's better to remember that. Why not to rationalize your problem? Notice what your automatic thoughts are? -> Like: "I'm so different, I cannot relate to people, therefore I'm worst". If you start from this position, you automatically put yourself as worse one, and people somehow sense that. With that thinking, you probably sending signals like: "sth is wrong with me" and people in most cases find this as off-putting. Not intentionally, but the thing is why would people stand up for you if you do not try to stand up for yourself? Maybe you have issue with low self-esteem? Do you work on that? People feel much more comfortable with others who feel comfortable with thyself. Do you behave like: "sorry that I'm living, I'm worse than you but that means that people are cruel and do not make effort to accept and validate me". The thing is everyone is pretty much busy with their own life and problems. I'm not saying that in negative light, but that's how world works. You're primarily person responsible for your problems and their fixation. In this thread you've got a lot of feedback, it's time to use it on your benefit. People say that find your jokes offensive or inopportune. Try to analyze why. Seriously, people are not supernatural, they do not have radar to see your heart intentions or know you from inside, in other words - they pretty much judge what they see. Do you try to interpret what other person is saying and maybe why behave towards you the way s/he does. If you're not aware how your behaviour affects others, then it's not surprise that feedback is not how would you like to be. Second thing, relationships with people base pretty much on interaction, talk. If you really do not lead continous interaction with people, then how can you have friends. Like, someone writes you a post, and you do not give response then why should you complain there is lack of interaction. Maybe you shun interactions because you feel not relating to people? But at the same time, you do not relate to people because you shun interaction. Circle closes. Is 'interaction' sth that causes you a problem?


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