# Advice on staying motivated to work towards long-term goals



## General Lee Awesome (Sep 28, 2014)

ask an ISTJ


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## tangosthenes (Oct 29, 2011)

tanstaafl28 said:


> tangosthenes said:
> 
> 
> > Hmm, idk, I tend to think of it as I've got a limited time and the more time I spend not having choice the more time I'm wasting. Life piles on a bunch of shit for you to do because it's inefficient and it's your job to cut through it and come out the other side unencumbered. That's the dream anyway.
> ...


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## cardinalfire (Dec 10, 2009)

Wayside said:


> For your situation, I would say that if you don't know what you want to do, it's a good idea to get experience in different areas whether through part-time jobs, volunteering, work experience/co-op programs at school (especially post-secondary), youth employment initiatives and exchanges, or working on your own projects (of course many of these opportunities are more easily accessible when you are young, so take advantage if you can!). Basically experiment. It sounds like your family is not taking your concerns seriously from the way you describe the situation - so bah! for them. It can be harder to change jobs when you are already working, but there are different things to consider. Like if the job requires you to work long hours, doesn't have much flexibility, or is so stressful that it puts you in a really bad state, then you won't have much time or capacity to look for other work. On the other hand, having work experience is so valuable when you are looking for another job and it doesn't have to be in the same field. But yeah, you should definitely take it seriously, yet realize that you won't get it right (ha!). Not to be discouraging or anything, just that so much learning about what makes a good fit happens through experience.
> 
> 
> I find the whole idea of striving to "find your passion" in work or "do what you love" to be kind of painting a rosier picture of working life than is warranted. I think that even if a person is in the job that is the absolute best possible fit for them, it still involves hard work and challenges. Work is about contributing to society not self-satisfaction.
> ...


It's not just about job for me, its about location, where I want to live, what i'm going to do, and also trying to recover the sense of self and identity which I lost when we moved. It was mums idea, and she didn't ask me about it, or ask how I felt, or considered the impact it would have on my life which pissed me off, as well as leaving me confused, with depression, anxiety, and days where I literally feel like death and ask myself, who benefits from my life, because it doesn't feel like me. It hasn't in a long time. Jesus there are times when I literally do not know who I am. 

To go from a place where your life had reached a peak, to suddenly having to move somewhere you don't like, whilst having to make sense out of things you don't understand, losing all your confidence and sense of normality because of things outside of your control or because of other people, really makes you think, is there a point to all this?


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

tangosthenes said:


> tanstaafl28 said:
> 
> 
> > I would think of the SJ in this situation as ok with being encumbered.
> ...


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## Wayside (Nov 29, 2012)

cardinalfire said:


> It's not just about job for me, its about location, where I want to live, what i'm going to do, and also trying to recover the sense of self and identity which I lost when we moved. It was mums idea, and she didn't ask me about it, or ask how I felt, or considered the impact it would have on my life which pissed me off, as well as leaving me confused, with depression, anxiety, and days where I literally feel like death and ask myself, who benefits from my life, because it doesn't feel like me. It hasn't in a long time. Jesus there are times when I literally do not know who I am.
> 
> To go from a place where your life had reached a peak, to suddenly having to move somewhere you don't like, whilst having to make sense out of things you don't understand, losing all your confidence and sense of normality because of things outside of your control or because of other people, really makes you think, is there a point to all this?


It sounds like the move has had a really big impact on you and I'm sorry it's been so disorienting. It is an unfortunate reality of life that things happen to us that impact us negatively and we have no control over. If the move is affecting you in such a way that you're having trouble functioning in your life or are thinking about suicide then I would encourage you to reach out to someone who you can help you (family/friends, doctor, therapist, guidance counsellor, local crisis line, etc.).

On the other hand, if things are tough, but you are in a place where you want to make some kind of change for your own good, definitely check out the links I posted above. I haven't had a chance yet to look at the website, but in the interview the psychologist gives a lot of good information about how to effectively apply her method. (Also, I am not trying to sell anything here, I am just very intrigued by the research and its application.) She talks specifically about how to deal with things that are not in our control.


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## WilliamWaltz (Mar 3, 2015)

1.Set a goal and visualize it imagine it in a detailed manner for few minutes.
2.Make a list of all the reason you want to accomplish your goal.
3.Break your goal in smaller peices, and set an intermediary target to it.
4.Have a strategy, but don't stick on it completely.
5.Get the help you need.


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## deviantcode (Mar 3, 2015)

Someone already said break it down into smaller steps. I HATE the gym i hate going but I go. The way I do it is, my goal is to get in the car. Once I am there, my goal is to make it to the gym entrance, than my goal is to get inside. I don't even think about the gym Until I am there. 

Also for bigger goals in life. Ask yourself WHY you are doing what you are doing. your WHY is extrememly important. Forget about the tasks day to day, and focus on the WHY you are doing it when you feel down or as if what you are doing is pointless.

EDIT: to add to this break it down to what you want. 

no one wants money. They want money, but not because of the money, but because of the feelings they will get with it. This applies even for INTP. We don't ultimately just want the money, but it is the feelings we think we will have when we get it. If you have money, you can buy the gadgets you want, and in the end that will make you feel happier. Sometimes this isn't true but it is what we think. 

So break it down to that feeling you actually want and incorporate it into your "why".


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## Wayside (Nov 29, 2012)

deviantcode said:


> Someone already said break it down into smaller steps. I HATE the gym i hate going but I go. The way I do it is, my goal is to get in the car. Once I am there, my goal is to make it to the gym entrance, than my goal is to get inside. I don't even think about the gym Until I am there.
> 
> Also for bigger goals in life. Ask yourself WHY you are doing what you are doing. your WHY is extrememly important. Forget about the tasks day to day, and focus on the WHY you are doing it when you feel down or as if what you are doing is pointless.
> 
> ...


Thanks, these are good tips. I've heard that advice about working out before. I take classes so that all I have to do is show up to the class. Once I'm there, it's just going along with what everyone else is doing to get through it. So little will power involved.

And I agree about understanding why you are going after something. Myself, I can sometimes get caught up in trying to get away from unpleasant things. But as you say, what is the underlying thing I'm trying to get to? Good question!


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## Wayside (Nov 29, 2012)

It's been a while since I started this thread. I'm not feeling as much despair as I was when I wrote it. I've made an effort to track the time I spend working on my goals, which has helped. It keeps me focused and gives me more frequent opportunities to recognize when I am drifting. I've started keeping a notebook specifically to organize my thoughts and progress on various goals. That's been useful and helped me to figure out how to do things better. 

After a bit of recent reflection I also realized that I've actually made some good progress working towards some goals I decided were important to me somewhere around nine months ago. I'm still in the same position job-wise without out definite plans, but I feel like I need to wrap up some other things (not my strong suit, so need to actually focus on that) before I tackle the career issue. I'm also processing some career-related thoughts in the back of my mind that I hope I'll be able to do something with when I get these other things off my mind.


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## SoulScream (Sep 17, 2012)

Wayside said:


> Does anyone have any advice on staying motivated to work towards long-term goals?
> 
> I am so sick of my job and there are some options for me to get out of it, but I want a more significant change that will take time to make happen. I am great at coming up with these kinds of plans when I get to a point of frustration (and, frankly, depression), but I am terrible at sticking with my original vision and seeing them through.
> 
> ...


Make a plan and change it on the fly. Life rarely allows for a plan to work as initially intended. Use whatever it throws at you to get a step closer to wherever you want to be. 

As for the support, maybe you can find someone with similar goals, sharing a path, blah blah.. It helps with the motivation part and keeps you excited even when shit isn't going according to plan. Either that or send me a PM whenever you need someone to talk to ^^


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## Wayside (Nov 29, 2012)

SoulScream said:


> Make a plan and change it on the fly. Life rarely allows for a plan to work as initially intended. Use whatever it throws at you to get a step closer to wherever you want to be.
> 
> As for the support, maybe you can find someone with similar goals, sharing a path, blah blah.. It helps with the motivation part and keeps you excited even when shit isn't going according to plan. Either that or send me a PM whenever you need someone to talk to ^^


Lol...changing plans on the fly is not a problem here. I probably change plans too often - until they're unrecognizable! Well, I guess there's always a sweet spot between flexibility and focus people generally have to work towards. Personally, I need to learn to harness my meandering and tangent-taking to work in the service of some kind of clear objective.

And yes, I will have to be a bit more open around connected with people with similar goals. I tend to be more reserved about the things in my life that are important to me. And thanks for the PM offer : )


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## SoulScream (Sep 17, 2012)

Wayside said:


> Lol...changing plans on the fly is not a problem here. I probably change plans too often - until they're unrecognizable! Well, I guess there's always a sweet spot between flexibility and focus people generally have to work towards. Personally, I need to learn to harness my meandering and tangent-taking to work in the service of some kind of clear objective.
> 
> And yes, I will have to be a bit more open around connected with people with similar goals. I tend to be more reserved about the things in my life that are important to me. And thanks for the PM offer : )


It does seem that the goal is your problem and not the planning. Living for some years with an INFP I know how unrecognizable plans can get (not to mention that mine often times are the same xD). Are you sure you have a clear goal that you really really want to reach? Getting away from a job is not a goal by itself.  

As for the people - do try to find those. You don't have to be open with everyone - most of the people in my life have no clue about what I find truly important. You will always know when you "resonate" with someone as far as goals and objectives and motivation is concerned. For me - I tend to be like the people around me as far as behavior goes.. been too long around lazy and procrastinating people. After that I found some that are dedicated to their dreams and the change in me is immense because of it :}

As for the PM offer - you're welcome and it is not offered lightly, I truly mean it (I get along with INFPs well among other things )


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## ientipi (Oct 17, 2013)

Write your goals down and make a plan. A goal without a plan is simply a dream, plus writing it down solidifies it and is a great way to get specific with what you want to accomplish. 
Other advice would be that no one is as dedicated as someone with passion and a desire to succeed...so make that you. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## nonnaci (Sep 25, 2011)

Long term goals are like different forms of walking. One takes baby steps before learning to run and making the final leap.


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## badpun (Aug 24, 2014)

Agreed with what others have said about breaking down a large goal into chunks. Keep up contact with those who share your same goal and talk about your progress. Don't expect to feel motivated all the time. If anything, it's more important to have the discipline to keep working towards your goal than to have motivation, which is often fleeting.


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