# Thinker to Thinker Relationships from Personal Experiences



## Ikari_T (Apr 10, 2012)

A great thing about Thinker only relationships is that when you make logical decisions together, both can totally understand where it comes from. Discussions won't require too much extended explanations of how and why things work out. Conversations are easy to establish. 

But sometimes even Thinkers get tired of the unemotional talks and the whole wishy-washiness that never sees the light of day do they not? Thinkers might get tired of the rude jabs from other Thinkers when they talk bluntly without the consideration of your own feelings. At times you get offended by what they said but you know for a fact that they won't care or even know what the issue is. Thinker girlfriend and friends are keeping a cold relationship and that's okay because they assume you are a logical roboto. 

That's right, thinkers are driving me to the edge. I might just burst into emotional flames. I want to be surrounded by a thousand Feelers right now. 

Do any of you Thinkers feel that way at least a little? Share your experiences.


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## Choice (May 19, 2012)

Ikari_T said:


> A great thing about Thinker only relationships is that when you make logical decisions together, both can totally understand where it comes from. Discussions won't require too much extended explanations of how and why things work out. Conversations are easy to establish.
> 
> But sometimes even Thinkers get tired of the unemotional talks and the whole wishy-washiness that never sees the light of day do they not? Thinkers might get tired of the rude jabs from other Thinkers when they talk bluntly without the consideration of your own feelings. At times you get offended by what they said but you know for a fact that they won't care or even know what the issue is. Thinker girlfriend and friends are keeping a cold relationship and that's okay because they assume you are a logical roboto.


Only from a friendship perspective - Certainly, the side where you're pushed into a series of exercises concerning empathy, acceptance and harmony gets you more warm fuzzy feelings. There's a sense that emotional intimacy is communicated differrently - the thinkers in my life through more practical actions & the occasional asking how you're going with X-problem.

But I don't see how thinkers are necessarily more inconsiderate of one's feelings. Blunter - true. but there's more demand for overt displays of affection / withdrawing honesty for the sake of maintaining an agreeable environment from some of the feelers I know (the same type they offer me)- sometimes more than I'm comfortable with giving - and they have trouble relating to my problems in that area too.


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## JungyesMBTIno (Jul 22, 2011)

Well, a thinking dominant pretty much is rather allergic to evaluating outside of what "makes sense" to the person (so, it's kind of subjective as an orientation, really - some really should work on evaluation though, so they don't look like arrogant wimps *just saying*). If they don't have a personal conception of something, they will probably not want to evaluate it (or if they do, they get out-of-sorts or over-emotional). Jung talks about Ti doms tending to come off as inconsiderate, and they kind of act like you're a waste of their time (this would be a pretty extreme thinking type, of course, which frankly does exist as far as I've seen). Te doms, to Jung, might be the person who just has a very impersonal communication style - you might tend to question their sincerity (sort of like they're always hyper focused on what they're doing). I would argue you may get some fabulous evaluators out of the tertiary feeling types (or some pretty lame ones, depends on the person), although it just might take a slightly archaic/negative bent (outside world might not really pick up on this easily - they probably wouldn't think twice about this).


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

Kind of. l don't really get much from feely discussions, though. l'm not even sure what that would consist of. l guess l get something from them if they're being held with someone l already respect or like.

But l can't see myself walking up to someone and talking about values, and really feeling anything if l don't know them well. Aside from that, when l do express something l don't want that much communication. For a topic that l might use Ti to understand, l would be engaged because it sparkled my curiousity. There's still only so much debating l participate in, though.

But in my T/T relationships, when the intellectual discussion was dry were mostly sexing each other :wink:


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## stevemadden (Jan 5, 2014)

Hi, 
Do you mean that flirting with feeling/emotion talk is not a good way, and should keep a debate intellectual type conversation to make her feel good ? Not sure if I express myself correctly, but I am trying to be with a T.
Unfortunately, as a Thinker myself I am already "decided" to be with her, so I am totally opened up and like a sponge to her happiness level, I am so influencable, can't control myself, a real torture, on her side she is not "decided" and need space.
I was just wondering if expressing my feelings was a good thing or not, just keeping factual / intellectual/logical conversation..


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

No...I spend most of my waking hours around thinkers and we all get along fine...


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## Xenograft (Jul 1, 2013)

Don't you think the point of a relationship is to not only be with someone you care about, but to improve yourself? I would honestly rather be with a feeler than a thinker because I am of the opinion that a relationship without growth is a pointless expenditure of energy.


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## I Kant (Jan 19, 2013)

Ikari_T said:


> Do any of you Thinkers feel that way at least a little? Share your experiences.


There are thinkers who can talk about feelings.

For some of them I find although they understand they have feelings, they don't use feelings to devalue the truth because of how precious feelings are, even when emotions are running high, which is nice.

While other thinkers are worse than hopeless. "I don't have feelings, I am logically above accountability and am always right because your feelings are out of control and you are in denial of them!" Ugh.


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## Psithurism (Jun 19, 2013)

Not really, but I can't stand someone who is clearly ''faking'' being someone who is overly logical and also belittles genuine emotion.

I'm a NT and I purposefully seek strong emotions quite often (i.e re-watching a scene from a movie that is meaningful to me). Especially as I've gotten older.
Mostly the only thing I still have trouble with are compliments; they usually make me act awkward if I sense they are sincere. I prefer ''jabs'' or ''teasing'', at least I know how to react and I usually find it very entertaining.


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## deftonePassenger (Jun 18, 2012)

I imagine that many thinkers would be tired of cold conversations if they are more open with emotions, especially if they are emotional by nurture.


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## 6007 (Feb 12, 2010)

For romance, I sincerely prefer thinker males. I dated an enfp for four years and it was a nightmare.
For friendship I can go either way.


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## A. Sydney Vance (Dec 21, 2013)

Great, open-minded sex, but otherwise only a half-formed connection. I also couldn't get the reactions from her that I crave socially. We split around 6 months.


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