# NF Males: What do you think of NT females?



## bizarreusername

I'm just curious. :wink:


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## ertertwert

I like them but it seems like NF's understand NT's better than they understand us. I guess this could be a potential trouble spot but more than likely it just depends on the individuals. I've gotten along with every NT I've known though. But then again I pretty much get along with everybody so I'm not sure if that means much.


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## Mr.Xl Vii

ertertwert said:


> I like them but it seems like NF's understand NT's better than they understand us. I guess this could be a potential trouble spot but more than likely it just depends on the individuals. I've gotten along with every NT I've known though. But then again I pretty much get along with everybody so I'm not sure if that means much.


I've been thinking about it. And it's not that we dont understand you, it's just that we dont have the high levels of empathy that you all have. We mentally have you pegged and understand every aspect about you, but we don't feel it. So I guess it can come off like we dont understand you. Plus, I've noticed with my own life, that the things I think people pick up on about me go unnoticed. My own family thinks I'm sort of an asshole, when I think I'm pretty giving of myself. We're just not as outward with our affection as other types might want.

I'm obviously not a NF male or an NT female, but I just felt like clarifying


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## TheOwl

ertertwert said:


> it seems like NF's understand NT's better than they understand us.


 My boyfriend is an NF, and I find it really annoying that he thinks he understands things about me that he doesn't. He makes a lot of assumptions that aren't true (instead of simply asking me what I think) and then makes decisions based on those assumptions. Ugh.


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## ertertwert

Funny. An INTP I knew did the same thing to me.


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## Ylajali

yes please.


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## gaudy316

I dated an INTP for a year, and almost dated an ENTJ. I also have an INTJ female best friend. And I had an ENTP tutor at one point. Taking these limited experiences & sources, check out my opinion on each NT from the INFP's point of view:

INTJ females: sure, they're hot, but they're known to bite hard. I've seen my friend in relationships and I am going to step away from that side of our friendship. She also has a roller coaster of emotions that seems to burst every now and then. She can be very depressed (especially when we're drinking) for a week, or quite ecstatic the next. For an INTJ, though, she's quite extroverted and charming. She got the top grades in high school and college and went on to manage consulting firms. As a romantic relationship, however, I feel as if I don't have anything to offer as a feeler. She told me herself she prefers thinkers because they can take her constant criticism. She gives her boys more than they can handle. Stock down for INFPs

INTP females: I know 2 and they're atheists while I'm Christian (formerly agnostic). They're not the most physically attractive girls I know but they do accept me as who I am and that's a huge plus. They respond to my phone calls, are very chill, and are drawn to new ideas & experiences. On the down side, I don't have much to offer in the all-important 'deep conversations' section, which takes up more than half our time together. Stock down for INFPs, unless the INFPs like engaging in passionate topics with open minds. INTPs can be dangerous (with zero ill-intent) an INFP for their knack of opening up their values and questioning them. Careful... 

ENTJ females: I know 1 who is a very good friend of mine. We used to work together right after my college graduation. As a leader, she was very understanding of me yet expected me to be at my best 24/7. I wrote this in past ENTJ forums. I thought of dating her but I knew that it would have to be serious since she doesn't waste any second. I asked my mom if I could but I couldn't because of ethnic differences (sigh!). I liked a lot about this girl: we gave each other riddles, we act goofy around each other, she understood and loved my quirky / goofiness while I admired her hard work and determination, we worked out together before work (had to wake up 5 AM), drank together after work, etc. Also, we have the same religion and she's quite devout. That's right, a religious non-Buddhist does exist. Stock WAY up for INFPs

ENTP females: I'm guessing my tutor in college is an ENTP. She has a very hot body. Although she's only 5-6 years older than me, her face suggests she's much older, probably because of smoking & lack of sleep. She recently became a lawyer. I'm sure she's a cat in bed but I wouldn't go for her not just because she's an ENTP but women that smoke aren't my preference. Also, I wouldn't know what to do if a woman who always out-smarted me during conversations (such as the INTP girl above). As an extrovert, I'm sure this would be a lot worse since I don't have much to offer in conversations. Dating an ENTP is like alcohol or drugs I guess - really fun at first (since they're adventurous) then you experience the hangover (make it stop!). I'm sure I'd get worn out with her in a few weeks. My relationship with her was friendship after she tutored me. Didn't talk or hang out much after my graduation as she focused on law school and other new friends. Stock down for INFP

Overall, I think ENTJs & INFPs make a GREAT pairing. I've read about how nice INFP & INTJ relationships are, but knowing my best friend, I'll pass. Then again, my sources are limited, but each of them fit their respective personality descriptions quite well.


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## Razvan

gaudy316 said:


> INTJ females: sure, they're hot, but they're known to bite hard. I've seen my friend in relationships and I am going to step away from that side of our friendship. She also has a roller coaster of emotions that seems to burst every now and then. She can be very depressed (especially when we're drinking) for a week, or quite ecstatic the next. For an INTJ, though, she's quite extroverted and charming. She got the top grades in high school and college and went on to manage consulting firms. As a romantic relationship, however, I feel as if I don't have anything to offer as a feeler. She told me herself she prefers thinkers because they can take her constant criticism. She gives her boys more than they can handle. Stock down for INFPs
> 
> Overall, I think ENTJs & INFPs make a GREAT pairing. I've read about how nice INFP & INTJ relationships are, but knowing my best friend, I'll pass. Then again, my sources are limited, but each of them fit their respective personality descriptions quite well.


I dated an INTJ for 5 years and a half, so I could relate with alot you said, I wouldn't say it's the personality difference between us that didn't make it work, more it was our lack of maturity and willingness to accept certain compromises, or to understand each other regarding certain things. NTJs are critical, can be quick to judge, they put labels easily and maybe it was an introvert thing, but I found it hard to get her to realise (or maybe at least accept?) what she had done wrong and how she hurt my feelings. If I said something during a fight, she'd say yeah, but you did (something I did a year ago). :laughing: (which I didn't think it was a wrong thing anyway) They can get pretty controlling which is annoying as hell and that can lead to extreme jealousy, things must be done their way or else they are unhappy. I'm not sure I've seen her ever jump out of joy, be exhilarated or manifest it like that, she never let her feelings burst out of her. (don't expect her to act like an ENFP or ENFJ, but still...) But it was 2 years ago when it ended, so maybe a lot of things are out of my mind now.

I've only said bad things, so I feel I should say some good things, they're very organised, book smart, but maybe not street smart, I would expect INTJ to get really good grades, but when she had to be creative in real life situations, it was a bit more difficult to come outside the box. Her organising skills and caring to always be on time meant I never lost a flight or was more often on time than I would have normally been, but this also meant she stressed me alot with that and many times even if we were on time, I wasn't in any good mood because of that and couldn't really enjoy anything.

Ok, maybe that wasn't entirely good....let me try again :laughing: Very devoted, interesting sense of humour (though I think NTPs have more sense of humour than NTJs), they will support you when you are in trouble by helping you plan a way to get out of that situation. If the situation is not too chaotic (in which case they can get a bit panicked), they are good at keeping things under control. Being NT doesn't mean they don't have a heart, they do and get burned and suffer or love just like anybody else, they're not robots even if we picture them like that. :laughing: Having a NTJ can be good for a NFP who needs a planner, so they can achieve more. (not what I'm primarily looking for though) 


Other NTs, I know an ENTP female, she loves to dance and has a certain sensitivity, but I don't know how to explain, it's the way they make decisions and take action that seems a bit cold for me. Ts can cut you out of their life easily when they think it's the best for them...I'm searching for a certain warmth right now I'm not sure I can find in a Thinker. I think I could be great friends with a thinker though, I have an INTJ male friend, by best friend is ISTJ, my father is INTJ...


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## thor odinson

Mr.Xl Vii said:


> I've been thinking about it. And it's not that we dont understand you, it's just that we dont have the high levels of empathy that you all have. We mentally have you pegged and understand every aspect about you, but we don't feel it. So I guess it can come off like we dont understand you. Plus, I've noticed with my own life, that the things I think people pick up on about me go unnoticed. My own family thinks I'm sort of an asshole, when I think I'm pretty giving of myself. We're just not as outward with our affection as other types might want.
> 
> I'm obviously not a NF male or an NT female, but I just felt like clarifying


I know a little off topic but it's kind of like what I perceive to be the difference between an NF psychologist and an NT psychologist.

An NF psychologist can directly feel what the patient is thinking or feeling where as an NT psychologist will use their N to brainstorm the possibilities and then run them down and pick the most plausible one using their T.

NF vs NT
direct empathy vs detached but nevertheless keen observation

And to add my two cents I think an NF male an NT female can work quite well not because of the cliche that any type can work well with hard work but because they can connect through N and complement each other with their different functions and better understand each other if they've well developed shadow functions


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## Mynameisnick

I dislike people who are careless with other people's emotions and are callous, but that's about it. I'd never judge someone based on personality type.


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## Vaan

I've fallen for two INTX women in my life and havent fely any attraction for a NF woman yet so i guess that pretty much sums that up :/


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## Runvardh

I've only had one truly bad experience with an NT, but it had nothing to do with emotions or values, and more with momentary weakness on the girl's part. Most of my face to face experience with NTs have otherwise been male friends and co-workers, all of whom I've enjoyed time with. I'm sure hanging out would be fine, my typical discussion topics are not common for F types, which makes relating easier.

I'd date an NT girl, so long as our needs are met and an appropriate amount of wants are as well, it should go alright. I'm more of a case by case basis type of person.

Why, want one of us?


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## Boreanwolf

I love NTs, it doesn't even matter if they're females or not. I befriend NTs very easily.

As for romance, I've only dated 2 girls so far. One was an ISFP and it was a disaster. The other, is an INTJ and while we had our share of problems in the past, it's been far better.


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## Feral sheep

I love nt women. I met one who was a intj and very intelligent. we got along well. I enjoyed her brutal honesty, the way she saw things, her sense of humor and how she would reveal intimate details. 

more things I liked about her, she was not very emotional, cool, calm and collected. I admired and respected her and very easily would have fallen


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## IonOfAeons

Dating an ENTP. there's also a possibility that one of my close friends is an INTP, not really seen the supposed 'cold' factor that's supposed to dominate them. They're logical yes, but so am I. They both enjoy hugs and being shown general affection. I'll admit that they seem to need it less than me, as well as generally being more capable of lasting without verbal reassurance. They can be VERY hard to get out of depressive spirals because of the fact that reassurance doesn't work so well with them.

Overall I think there probably is a level of detachment from emotions in them. They can certainly access them and understand them but it's not something they're interested in for the sake of it, something slightly alien to me. We get along well and our conversations are pleasant and entertaining. I think I'd like to meet an NTJ to see what they're like.


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## Frog

gaudy316 said:


> Overall, I think ENTJs & INFPs make a GREAT pairing. I've read about how nice INFP & INTJ relationships are, but knowing my best friend, I'll pass. Then again, my sources are limited, but each of them fit their respective personality descriptions quite well.


My best friend is an ENTJ. I'm probably an INFP. Not romantic, but we do work well together?


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## Mike75

My wife is an INFJ and I am a INFP, been married 13 years and two kids. I still love and respect her more everyday.


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## GraphicallyAlex

kinda sexy.


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## Paradox1987

I tend to like people in general. As for NT women; well the only woman I've actually been _*in*_ love with was ENTP. I enjoy their objectivity. Whilst a close friend of mine who almost became more than friends is an ENTJ. I've dated INFJ women before too. I think that NT and NF can really complement each other. Not to mention; in an ENFP- ENTP relationship; the joint Ne lead is just a wee bit too awesome! So all in all; NT women are more than capable of rocking my world :happy:


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## Promethea

TheOwl said:


> My boyfriend is an NF, and I find it really annoying that he thinks he understands things about me that he doesn't. He makes a lot of assumptions that aren't true (instead of simply asking me what I think) and then makes decisions based on those assumptions. Ugh.


Mmmmmhm. I have had several NFs who have been close to me do that. Incorrect empathy sometimes.. maybe from projection. An infp I dated did that a ton, and never accepted that he was wrong about how I felt, when I told him he doesn't get it. Some of them have also assumed that an emotion I have is a lot more complex than it is at times, and that its indicative of a huge thing that we need to sort out. Very frustrating.


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## MegaTuxRacer

Yep. That's one of the things that I love about the nt/nf dynamic is how intense both types are. I don't know if I would be able to stand a relationship with an s because they lack that certain intensity. Sure they are intense in their own. Ways, but it is in a way that I am in no way enthusiastic about. Every nt or nf person I meet, I immediately have this sort of connection. With sj and sp... Yeah I get along with them fine as long as the discussion remains light, but that immediate channeling of energy is lacking.


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## GoodOldDreamer

Yes, yes, I am aware that "one bad apple" doesn't ruin the whole bunch. And as I've said, I'm perfectly fine with being friends with Ts. In fact, I have a fairly close NT male friend in my circle right now. We get along great, and I see no reason why I wouldn't get along just as well with a female of the same type.

That doesn't mean that I'd be quick to be romantically involved, however. Past experience has shown that to be an error, as much on my part as theirs.


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## Coburn

Promethea said:


> Mmmmmhm. I have had several NFs who have been close to me do that. Incorrect empathy sometimes.. maybe from projection. An infp I dated did that a ton, and never accepted that he was wrong about how I felt, when I told him he doesn't get it. Some of them have also assumed that an emotion I have is a lot more complex than it is at times, and that its indicative of a huge thing that we need to sort out. Very frustrating.


This. My close NF friends are both guilty of making assumptions that whatever they've "read" in me is what's true, no matter how much I might say otherwise. 

There also seems to be a trend to make emotions a lot more complex than they are. As an NT, I like to identify the cause of my emotional reaction, gauge whether or not my emotions are warranted, and work from there. For some reason, my INFJ friend can never accept that emotions are as simple as A = B. It has to be something like A - C + FGE * D = B. 

Of course, once they decide in their heads that their reason for your behavior is the true explanation, there's no convincing them otherwise. I've had a lot of misunderstanding with one particular NF friend because she kept pushing for a level of complexity that simply wasn't there.

I know I'm commenting from a female NT perspective rather than the requested male NF one, but I thought I would add my two cents.

On a side note, the NF guys I've liked have always been wonderful people with too many emotional needs for me. They seem to need constant reassurance that they're on the right path and won't screw it all up. I don't really mesh well with people who lack a steady inner confidence. At least not long term. Hence the lack of dating...


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## yitznewton

Jennywocky said:


> You will find a range of INTPs, some who are merciless in hunting down and slaying a "fluffy" belief and the other extreme which will gently poke and prod but still allow the belief to wander off once they've assessed it. (I suppose it's like hunting to cull out the decrepit and weak vs tagging and releasing back into the wild for observation, lol.)


I *loved* this. I generally follow the second pattern, but after having been disenfranchised by higher-up BS peddlers in my religious society, I have been exercising my #1 muscles more in the last few years. I don't like it, though. I feel instability if too much debunking is going on around me.


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## Sequestrum

I fell in love with an INTP who used to be a close friend of mine. She was absolutely intense and had a brutal sense of honesty. God, I loved that fire in her heart. I liked the fact that she didn't hold back her punches, my only complaint, is that sometimes in her mind, she would develop insights about me that weren't true at all. She would be suspicious of malicious intent in me where none was ever shown. I'm nice to everyone, even to my enemies. When I have the chance to make a fatal blow to someone, I never take it. Live and let live. It boggles my mind that she could see these horrible things in me, and that is how she always hurt me the most. I guess as a type 2w1, I interpret the image that others perceive of me as being true, and for a while I couldn't stop thinking about how horrible a person I was to be able to gain her scorn like that. It took me a long time to recover from it, and I told her things just couldn't work between us like that. Once I recovered, I was able to be friends with her again though, and we are still friends today, but sometimes when I think back on those times, I can still feel the hole in my heart she punched.

Another girl I dated from a very young age is an INTJ. She also had that fire which I seem to find irresistible. When she was young, I admired her bravery and sharp tongue. When other girls would sit back and take negative comments, she would take a bold stance and unleash the flames of hell on those bastards! Unfortunately, she was taken away from me by her family. We were only in our mid-teens and tried to keep things going long-distance, but eventually we fell out of contact for about 5 years. One day, I thought I would attempt to find her. I searched through old emails, looked online, and came across what might be her email address. I sent her an email apologizing for letting so much time passing, and asking her how she was doing. Thankfully, it was really her email. We started talking again, she lived many states away from me by this time though. We dated online for over a year before she decided she trusted me enough to come visit me again. Seeing her again in the flesh made my heart fall out of it's place. It was like feeling that initial overwhelming sensation pulse over my entire body, sending waves of anxiety, fear, and heat all over again. It was like falling in love all over again. Since then, she has hurt me, I have hurt her. We're human after all.

I'll stop for now because I am drifting all over the place. hehe

To sum it up, I will just say that I think NF's and NT's have the greatest potential to be happy together, but also possess the greatest means to hurt each other--Like porcupines! You have got to be very careful and considerate of each other. NF's should find the courage in their hearts to deal with the flames when hell's gate opens in your direction, and to give your NT women the space she needs when she needs it. As for how NT's should treat their guys--I don't know exactly; it is hard for me to think of it objectively when I have my own personal involvement in it. Maybe try to remember that your logic is not always flawless, and to keep an open mind about variables which may exist outside of your current scope?

This advice may vary of course, hope it helps someone though, or gives some insight somehow!


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## Derek Schlegel

I've dated an INTJ... Beautiful, intelligent, driven...
And oh man, was I in love with her. We dated few a few weeks, but were friends for 6
months before I asked her out.

And she ripped my heart out, took a bite, and spit back the piece that she chewed up a little.
Yeah, I've had some experience with NT's...

I'm still bitter, because her excuse for breaking up was to say that she was worried about moving away in the coming months(graduating college), and didn't want to hurt me when she left.
And it's 2 years later, and she works across the hall, and is in a relationship with someone else. How is an INFP supposed to take this? 

Well, at least when she broke up with me, "love hurts" played on the drive home from the break up. It was a sign...that I was going to feel like crap in the morning...


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## Sequestrum

Derek Schlegel said:


> And it's 2 years later, and she works across the hall, and is in a relationship with someone else. How is an INFP supposed to take this?
> 
> Well, at least when she broke up with me, "love hurts" played on the drive home from the break up. It was a sign...that I was going to feel like crap in the morning...


I would not blame that behavior on her being an INTJ. The INTJ that I dated would have told me truthfully exactly the true reason why she was breaking up with me if she felt she had to. There are a few things to consider. She might have been trying to spare your feelings, or she might have been trying to spare her own feelings. It's even possible that she just doesn't know what she wants in life, but for some reason concluded that it isn't to be you. This is fine, because if you were meant to be together, you would be. She is doing you a favor by freeing you up to see someone who you could truly fall in love with and have that love reciprocated. Through out all of my exeperiences and brushes with love that have left me hurting, I have concluded that love is not love unless both parties love each other. One directional love is nothing more than unhealthy obsession. You can never get rid of your bad experiences in life, and you shouldn't want to, because it is those bad experiences which make us better people. Salvage the good that you can from what happened and use it to make yourself stronger. Keep your head up, and your eyes open, because if you keep staring at the ground, the girl of your dreams could walk by, and you wouldn't even see her.


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## yitznewton

uniqueh said:


> It is great to have conversation with them but they are not funny company if u know what I mean.


I don't know what you mean.


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## Darkstar

Utterly painful and disappointing.


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## cue5c

I love NT women, they're wonderful. Of course, I'm not your target audience for this question, but NTs in general are wonderful people. They can be a bit cynical sometimes, but I can't fault them for that. I'm pretty sure a lot of Ns can be cynical if they focus on all the things that could be better. Oh well!


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