# Deal breakers and demands for a serious relationship?



## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

Do you have any hard demands or deal breakers in looking for a serious romantic partner? I've always been a massive nazi (if you pardon the expression) in this; For casual sex, I don't really care as long as they're attractive obviously, but to be capable of loving someone, I have a 24-point list which needs to be fulfilled for me to decide to fall in love. I'm together with my fiance for a bit over 4 years now; And we're very happy together. I searched for a partner based on rational methods; And while it did take time and effort, it definately paid off! I'm in the most perfect relationship I could ever wish for (I'm ENTJ, they're INTJ, by the way ^^ )

1) Must be a rational egoist, place themselves on number one, and have the absolute conviction the universe exists solely for them, not the other way around. This is not negotiable; If they aren't a rational egoist, _get out of my sight._ If they aren't willing to, in a thought experiment, eradicate all life in the universe to save themselves, they have no business anywhere near my romantic emotions. Shoo.

2) Must be a transhumanist.

3) Must not value involuntary determinants (heritage, family, gender, nationality, etc; Must not care about biological imperatives, must live only by logic.) - someone who has their skin colour, gender or family descent as part of their psychological identity - go away. I want someone who identifies as "themselves" and "postgender" if they have a gender identity.

4) Must be a "hard science" scientist (Biotech, math, physics, chemistry, cognitive neurobiology, information technology. No "artsy" people please, they're great for friends but I don't want to date them) or be a successful and ambitious entrepreneur. 

5) Must be absolutely 100% sure they don't want kids, as an absolute, and have had themselves sterilized out of their own volition/wish to do so before the age of 25. The attitude of "Well, I don't want kids, but you never know, never say never, I may change my mind" is NOT acceptable. If they aren't as sure of being childfree as Osama was sure of being pro-Islam, they aren't welcome to have a serious relationship with me.

6) No religion, spirituality, new age crap or anything remotely related to it. Period.

7) INTJ, ENTJ, ENTP or INTP please, in that order. No S, no F and preferably no P, but I could live with an ENTP/INTP if they weren't too P. 

8) Must be a libertarian, minarchist or classical liberal. I don't date socialists, communists, or democrats. If you think anyone has the right to vote over my (or your) life or property, go away. And keep walking.

9) Must not be a pussy. I don't like squeal, weak people who don't stand up for themselves, cry about everything and have a hard time making tough decisions. Note: I don't mind about people crying or complaining about serious things, or having emotions. In fact, I like it that people have the courage to show their emotions. That's not being a pussy, that's being open. Just don't be a bleeding heart weakling. 

10) If you're pro-life, I'm pro-you-never-talking-to-me-again

11) If you're against gay marriage, I'm against you.

12) If you're against stem cell research, I hope my fiance will get to use you for their experiments. While you're alive. Your consent is not necessary for our moral compass.

13) TRY to not be ugly. This is debatable; Average looks or just a bit below is okay, I'm not that shallow, but if I have to use a significant portion of my mental energy to dissociate myself from my somatic experience when we're having sex, you WILL have to make that up to me through being even more awesome in other areas. Just... Don't be a troll, take showers, don't be obese, and you're probably okay. My fiance happens to be a professional model, but that's honestly the last reason why I chose to be with them.

14) You need to be a genius, and no, I'm not kidding. If you're not the kind of person that has near-superhuman intelligence, the kind that was always different because the rift between your intellect and those around you was as vast as the fissure between heaven and earth, we're not for each other. 3 standard deviations from an average person. Minimum.

15) Must not have a problem with verbally hurting people, and must have free speech as a prime value.

16) Must actually use that right to hurt people who deserve it, must never avoid conflict for the sake of avoiding conflict, and must be willing to take vengeance against those that wrong them if it's practical. Forgiving easily is a sign a feeling of low self-importance, and that is unforgivable.

17) If you cheat, I will *end* you. If you want to fuck someone else, call me, dump me, fuck them, and it's fine, we can be friends. But if you don't do that, you will see heaven collapse on your head ten thousand times.

18) They must not be animals rights activists. Showing too much pity for anything or finding anything WAY too cute kills my love for a person faster than injecting me with barbiturates.

19) Must desire to be immortal without compromise. Must never say things like "I don't know, maybe I want to die if I've grown old happily" - if there are any such thoughts in their heads, they are unworthy.

20) Must love harsh humor.

21) Must never be logically inconsistent; For example, being pro-drug prohibition but seeing no problem in alcohol being legal. Take a rational stance, or get out.

22) Must feel better than other people, and be capable to rationally explain why they're better than other people.

23) Must not be a cultural relativist.

24) Must have own responsibility as a value and must never place responsibility for ones actions in the environment; For example, I could never date someone who blames only a politician for a war; Every person that fired a round is responsible. The whole idea of "You are part of the world" is wrong. You and the world are two different things; The whole liberal stuff of "yeah, but, environment!" - go away. Joan of arc led a fucking army in a time women were treated like livestock. THAT'S the kind of people that really show the best in humanity. Go cry about culture somewhere else; People who conform to moral norms of a sick culture are equally responsible. Someone who shoots up their school is guilty of murder, it's not societies fault; And for example getting anorexia is NOT the result of a "skewed beauty standard in media" - I HAD anorexia, and it was the result of my own will drawing wrong conclusions and being weak. In fact, I am against lowering beauty standards, and for more plastic surgery and development of transformational technology; We should be who we want to be, not how nature happened to made us. If you don't agree on that, I will not date you.


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## Husgark (Nov 14, 2012)

I don't have many absolute deal breakers. Like smoking, and I generally want a potential partner to be healthy and be responsible. But I can like people who are both similar and dissimilar to myself. I think it is quite foolish to make long lists of quantitative criteria that your partner must fulfill(did you IQ-test your partner btw?)



Oscuras said:


> 21) Must never be logically inconsistent; For example, being pro-drug prohibition but seeing no problem in alcohol being legal. Take a rational stance, or get out.


If you truly mean this, then I have to disappoint you, because it is impossible to always be logically consistent if you are a purely logical being. And by impossible I mean that it has been proved to be impossible(look up Gödel's incompleteness theorems).



> Must desire to be immortal without compromise. Must never say things  like "I don't know, maybe I want to die if I've grown old happily" - if there are any such thoughts in their heads, they are unworthy.


Desiring immortality is either spiritual or illogical. The laws of thermodynamics forbids it, nothing will survive the heat death of the universe.


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

Husgark said:


> I don't have many absolute deal breakers. Like smoking, and I generally want a potential partner to be healthy and be responsible. But I can like people who are both similar and dissimilar to myself. I think it is quite foolish to make long lists of quantitative criteria that your partner must fulfill(did you IQ-test your partner btw?)
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I know Gödel's theorems, I study AI sciences  I mean logically consistent within the bounds of values and moral stances. They don't need to express what their favourite band is by analyzing sound frequencies and expressing them in formal logic equations haha. As for desiring immortality, Asimov's story "The last question" is about that topic. The Last Question -- Isaac Asimov

We have no idea if it's possible, honestly. I think it's a very arrogant thought (And this is coming from me) to, with limited human understanding of the universe and of physics, declare it's impossible to attain immortality through technology. Let's first merge with an AI comprised of at least 10^15 matrioshka brains that are also wired to enable quantum computing before declaring we know anything on a cosmic scale, shall we? 

Also, even if it is impossible, by focusing all the energy of the local supercluster into a specific point, and then using gigastructures to minimalize entropy, you could probably extend your consciousness (perhaps in a simulated environment) for at least 10^50 times the normal human lifespan. While this is not forever, it sure as hell is near-forever from our current standpoint. Also, we don't know if it's possible to somehow damage the timespace continuüm, "escape" it, or something else. 

P.S: I see you are a fan of John Maynard Keynes. I don't like you :mellow:


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

Anyone?


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## SouthernSaxon (Feb 21, 2014)

Yes, I have some deal breakers for a relationship. I'm not going to put down the obvious stuff everyone will agree with like no cheating or abusing privacy, and a compatible personality. These things should be assumed.

1. Physical attraction/compatibility. Loathed and hated on, but it's a reality that male sexual attraction largely rests on a woman's face. And I am very fussy in this regard. I will only date someone who has a similar ethnic background and craniometry. And as I take good care of my body I expect any potential mate to do the same; I have absolutely zero tolerance for obesity.
2. Health. I will not date anyone with an STD and will insist on testing before having sex with them. Before having children I will also insist on testing for heritable genetic diseases. I am not a hypocrite and have already done both of these things regarding myself.
3. Feminism, Communism and other radical left wing views are intolerable. Fascist/nationalist is ideal but I'm happy with conservative or apolitical.
4. Artistic/cultural knowledge and interests. I don't like trashy, unintelligent people, and even less the music they listen to. 
5. Pro family. Kind of related to 2. and 3., but if she doesn't want a family and isn't prepared to look after the children, then I'm not interested. One of my main goals in life is to be a father, so I'll be unhappy being in a relationship with someone who doesn't have maternal aspirations.

In return, I can promise to be a loyal, caring, creative and loving boyfriend and husband. I would make a big effort to be there for anyone who could fulfil the above as i know it's a big ask and would screen out most women. But that's the thing, I know i'm looking for someone special, I sense nothing in most of the women around me.


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## Kyandigaru (Mar 11, 2012)

I just want someone who is active, traveler, supportive, sexual and faithful. 

No kids and no female friends.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I wouldn't say overall I have demands or absolutes. But I am much pickier at 30 then I was at 20.

Aside from basic chemistry/attraction 
I guess my big thing is looking at what drives and runs that person in their life function as a whole, is what I look at.
Like under what premises they operate. 

I can state things I prefer...
Which is some similar background and perspective to me in terms of relating to each other which consists of...
Divorced
Has Kids
Experienced in life in terms of exposure but not in the gutter currently. 
Some education or even if not educated at least well adapted and has a grasp on some intellect.
And I don't want a current addict. (If they are recovered thats fine tho)

Oh and its not a requirement at all, but I do have a thing for musicians it seems. But its not that exclusive. I have dated a lot of different types of people.


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

SouthernSaxon said:


> Yes, I have some deal breakers for a relationship. I'm not going to put down the obvious stuff everyone will agree with like no cheating or abusing privacy, and a compatible personality. These things should be assumed.
> 
> 1. Physical attraction/compatibility. Loathed and hated on, but it's a reality that male sexual attraction largely rests on a woman's face. And I am very fussy in this regard. I will only date someone who has a similar ethnic background and craniometry. And as I take good care of my body I expect any potential mate to do the same; I have absolutely zero tolerance for obesity.
> 2. Health. I will not date anyone with an STD and will insist on testing before having sex with them. Before *having children* I will also insist on testing for heritable genetic diseases. I am not a hypocrite and have already done both of these things regarding myself.
> ...


You sound like a perfect opposite of what I would want. I would rather kill myself than date you :bored:


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## SouthernSaxon (Feb 21, 2014)

Oscuras said:


> You sound like a perfect opposite of what I would want. I would rather kill myself than date you :bored:


*shrugs* You don't seem like my type either to be honest, so no loss.


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## Kingdom Crusader (Jan 4, 2012)

I need to have someone who's at least somewhat of a nerd, like me. 

I'd imagine that he'd have to have a little bit of an interest in biology/health science, history, political science/government, psychology, etc. I have a strong preference for all these subjects to have an emphasis on or have some tie with medical science.


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

Well I'm already engaged so.. ^^. Only thing you would probably agree with me on is that I'm a fiscal conservative/classical liberal. Oh and, I hate feminism but for a different reason; Feminism makes the assumption that men and women exist, and that they should be equal. I'm for absolute abolition of gender and sex in itself, and refuse to even acknowledge gender roles.

I would also rather shoot myself than ever have kids (I've had myself sterilised.)


Oh and, another deal breaker for me would be if they didn't have very strong personal interests and ambitions. I don't want someone who is ever content, let alone content with being average. I want someone with a "Bigger than life" mentality.


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## laura palmer (Feb 10, 2014)

[No message]


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

Lol this thread. The replies are entertaining at least. 24 deal breakers? Not too picky lol.


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## SouthernSaxon (Feb 21, 2014)

isingthebodyelectric said:


> Lol this thread. The replies are entertaining at least. 24 deal breakers? Not too picky lol.


Yeah, it's a chance to show off the outrageous. That's two girls now in the last two weeks who've said they'd rather die than date me lol...

I'm sure my offering ruffles a few, predictable feathers too.


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## VirtualMuffin (Dec 25, 2013)

SouthernSaxon said:


> Yeah, it's a chance to show off the outrageous. That's two girls now in the last two weeks who've said they'd rather die than date me lol...
> 
> I'm sure my offering ruffles a few, predictable feathers too.


To Be Fair if I was a straight female with a similar personality to what I have now I'd pick you over the OP everytime.

To answer the topic. I'd say the only main rules are that you have mastered the art of empathy to a good degree. I do not want a female Cyberman. You also must most definitely be loyal.

Anything else is probably up for debate. I've only had 4-5 people I've really liked in my lifetime. It takes me about 6 months to a year to fall for anyone. I only gain attraction based on emotional bonds you could say. So if you can stay good friends with me for a while, you have a shot.


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## SouthernSaxon (Feb 21, 2014)

jaek13456 said:


> To Be Fair if I was a straight female with a similar personality to what I have now I'd pick you over the OP everytime.


The OP is actually female.

And thanks for the compliment, it's appreciated. Brace yourself for the hate though...


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## laura palmer (Feb 10, 2014)

- promiscuous past
- drinks a lot or does recreational drugs
- is not planning for a future
- conservative social veiws 
- is sexist/needs to be a feminist alley
- cant analyze where their actions come from
- doesn't like hanging out all day
- sits around all day
- self deprecation
- superficial political views
- picky eater
- high sex drive


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

This is why we can't have nice things :mellow:


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## SouthernSaxon (Feb 21, 2014)

Zibziby said:


> a lot of yall sound like judgemental dicks tbh


Look at yourself lol, you have listed double the number of deal breakers that any of the guys who've posted in this thread so far have.

Ah, women who think they're tolerant...


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## laura palmer (Feb 10, 2014)

SouthernSaxon said:


> Look at yourself lol, you have listed double the number of deal breakers that any of the guys who've posted in this thread so far have.
> 
> Ah, women who think they're tolerant...


ahh men who think i care what they have to say


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## Pyogenes (Feb 12, 2014)

Oscuras said:


> So basically, you "grew up" which is the inferior person's newspeak for "I grew too weak to win life, so instead I chose to bow my head and justify it with positive-sounding language"?


Not at all and I do not wish to imply that. I changed, as is the nature of the universe. There is no ethical value assigned to either position. It isn't a jab at you. It is important that people like yourself exist. I would warn against assigning labels of inferior to those who do not share your vision, though. Conceited dismissal will allow an inferior to slit your neck from behind because you made erroneous assumptions of weakness. 

I am curious, what is winning life to you?


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

Not dying, and being capable of designing yourself. Control; Erasing everything that you didn't voluntarily chose. Designing your body, mind, environment. The systematic eradication of all involuntary determinants, and the widening of the possible spectrum of experiences you can have. Adding new senses, emotions, anything. 

The universe and you are two different things (which I have logically proven in my book, the law of ego-nature duality) - You chose to change. "It is important" for whom? Nothing is important but my self interest. There is no universal interest but the self. As for erasing emotions: Why did you want to do that? Emotions should never be seen as bad; They should be subjugated utterly and made to work for you. 

For example, love. I fall in love when I rationally chose to; I have subjugated it, I use it to experience hedonism and bond with people I deem adequate through rigorous analysis. Erase emotions that are undesireable, subjugate the desireable ones. To chose what is desireable is to make judgments about concrete emotions based on abstract values. It's not the easiest task, but it's the only moral choice.


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## hubcap (Mar 25, 2014)

I don't date heroin or meth addicts. 

In all seriousness, I am an ENTJ and I think that making a list of "MUSTS" and "MUSTNOTS" is rather silly. 

There are a lot of wonderful people out there. I realize I am not perfect and I am not looking for a perfect woman. I am looking for someone who is willing to overlook my imperfections as I am willing to overlook hers. 

I think if someone has a fundamentally different view of life than I do, that it would be highly unlikely that we would be compatible enough to ever fall in love.


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

Well, I don't want people to overlook my inperfection, I want them to judge mercilessly. That's the best way to improve.


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## hubcap (Mar 25, 2014)

Oscuras said:


> Well, I don't want people to overlook my inperfection, I want them to judge mercilessly. That's the best way to improve.


You will never be perfect so it requires someone who can overlook your imperfections and live with them in order to ever have a lasting relationship.


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

To the OP, the vast majority of your requirements come under the category of "Truth" for me. I am working to better adhere to the Four Agreements.

Intelligence is required by me. There are many forms of intelligence.
Power. The woman must be able to stand up to me when needed. 
Kindness.
Emotionally available / Love.
Chemistry.


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

hubcap said:


> You will never be perfect so it requires someone who can overlook your imperfections and live with them in order to ever have a lasting relationship.


Watch me. I have been the last 4 years; I don't need to be, I just need to be judged constantly so that I constantly improve. It's an exponential line. It gives accelerating returns, and even though it's never completely vertical, getting it as vertical as possible is my goal, as an extropian.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Yeah, good luck with that. Basically, you've given yourself permission slip to remain single. Nobody will ever live up to your standards. Love accepts people _as they are_, not as we would force them to be. The sooner you learn this, the less pain you will have to endure.


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

I'm engaged, and have been in a wonderful relationship with a genius INTJ for the past 4 years, one that had all the characteristics I looked for; The state of reality disproves your assertion. I'm so happy with my relationship!

Obviously, if you are so picky you won't "Spontaneously" find someone, and you'll have to apply a correct methodology. This did indeed take me 2 years, in which I just enjoyed casual sex with unworthy but sexually attractive people. Fuck following your heart, following your heart is for the weak roud:


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

tanstaafl28 said:


> . Love accepts people _as they are_, not as we would force them to be. The sooner you learn this, the less pain you will have to endure.


Truth. 

Accept them as they are, love them as they are, and decide if you want to spend time with them today.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Oscuras said:


> I'm engaged, and have been in a wonderful relationship with a genius INTJ for the past 4 years, one that had all the characteristics I looked for; The state of reality disproves your assertion. I'm so happy with my relationship!
> 
> Obviously, if you are so picky you won't "Spontaneously" find someone, and you'll have to apply a correct methodology. This did indeed take me 2 years, in which I just enjoyed casual sex with unworthy but sexually attractive people. Fuck following your heart, following your heart is for the weak roud:



I've got 18 years of monogamy, and 15 years of marriage, that says you're full of shit, and sooner or later, your going to figure that out. Good luck to you, none-the-less.


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## tiki (May 11, 2014)

You can have thousand demands for a partner and maybe if you FIND such person your gonna not be happy. I have arranged marriage but both we knew what we had to do so our marriage will work. Now we are married 4 years and happy.


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

tanstaafl28 said:


> I've got 18 years of monogamy, and 15 years of marriage, that says you're full of shit, and sooner or later, your going to figure that out. Good luck to you, none-the-less.


The value of experience can be transcended by reason. All that your experience teaches me if you say such things is that you are weak. And the weak are not deserving of love.


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

All great theories, but there's one fly in the ointment: I'm happy. This disproves your misguided assertions. Feel feel to think what you want, but if you're going to judge, be prepared to, please, understand one fundamental truth:

You are wrong.

P.S: 18 years of marriage and 15 years of monogamy? You're one of _those_ people?


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## KINGoftheAMAZONS (Jun 21, 2011)

1) I'd never date a pseudo-intellectual, pseudo-tough tryhard
2) She must be intellectually curious, open minded, but also firm in her beliefs
3) She must love me for me, as I will love her for her
4) She must be socially & politically conscious with a desire to be active
5) She must be a person that 'thinks outside the box'
6) She must be ambitious
7) She must be compassionate
8) Fuck pro-greed ideology
9) Fuck willful ignorance
10) Fuck willful apathy towards the plight of others
11) I want someone who loves themselves, and detests any and all 'plastic' constructions of beauty (except in cases where people have medical deformities)
12) She must have a revolutionary spirit, and the heart of a warrior
13) *Absolutely NO PASSIVE AGGRESSION
*14) She must have an above-average desire for sex


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

Oscuras said:


> All great theories, but there's one fly in the ointment: I'm happy. This disproves your misguided assertions. Feel feel to think what you want, but if you're going to judge, be prepared to, please, understand one fundamental truth:
> 
> You are wrong.
> 
> P.S: 18 years of marriage and 15 years of monogamy? You're one of _those_ people?


my but aren't you the judgmental one.

FWIW, he has been monogamous longer than he has been married. 

God gave us two ears and one mouth. There is a suggested implied ratio there.


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

sure would be cool if someone were stupid enough to get into a pissing contest with Tans and I..........

I feel like being an asshole to someone.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Oscuras said:


> All great theories, but there's one fly in the ointment: I'm happy. This disproves your misguided assertions. Feel feel to think what you want, but if you're going to judge, be prepared to, please, understand one fundamental truth:
> 
> You are wrong.
> 
> P.S: 18 years of marriage and 15 years of monogamy? You're one of _those_ people?


Try the other way around. We met in college. We had to wait until we graduated.


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## Praxidike (Aug 6, 2010)

*Dealbreakers*

-Lack of ambition
-Pessimistic
-Persecution complex
-Discourteous towards everyone
-Fickle
-Homophobic/Racist
-Overt religiosity (or any religiosity)


*Demands*

-Loyal
-Respectful
-Open-minded
-Intelligent
-Opinionated
-Rational

I know I'm not perfect, so if you're good to me, I'll generally try to overlook any incompatibilities but there are some (as mentioned above) that I can't overlook.


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

KINGoftheAMAZONS said:


> 1) I'd never date a pseudo-intellectual, pseudo-tough tryhard
> 2) She must be intellectually curious, open minded, but also firm in her beliefs
> 3) She must love me for me, as I will love her for her
> 4) She must be socially & politically conscious with a desire to be active
> ...


You sound like the opposite of me. Compassion, "natural" beauty and anti-greed are things that make me want to hurl. Plastic fantastic, fuck mother nature!


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## Fredward (Sep 21, 2013)

Prismira Vex said:


> Sounds difficult :O how do you organize what you want if you can't make it concrete for yourself?


How could I make what I want concrete? Are my wants static? Maybe in really broad strokes I could say 'I need someone intelligent' (and I do) but what kind of intelligent would be okay then? The academic kind? The street smarts kind? The amazing hunter-gatherer kind? Or I could say 'I can't be with somewhat with a rigid mindset' (I can't) but maybe I can. Maybe they have a really amazingly aquiline nose that makes up for it? Maybe they're just rigid because they know what they want which is a trait that I find attractive but they're always willing to listen and even change their mind if you can come up with a good reason? 

There are so many variables when it comes to preferences that I see little to no point in even attempting to make my wants concrete. Even if I did and even if I hunted someone down what if there was some foible I found in them that I didn't even consider on my list? What if I do meet someone who I have some magical, intense, carnal chemistry/attraction to but they fail half the criteria on my list, do I just bid them adieu? Making a list presupposes that I know enough about my present and future selves and the present future selves of potential SOs that I can make meaningful inferences about the nature and success of a relationship. Which I do not. I'd rather consider people as they come than try and look for someone specific.

Just out of curiousity, as per number 7 on your list, would you consider me to be too P for a relationship?


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

Well, I don't have any carnal chemistry attraction thing in my mind, I activate falling in love if I deem it desireable, so I can't understand that to begin with. I can't imagine how to not consider something in my list; I mean, I know what I want. How could I not consider something? At the same time, that's because I'm relatively simple. Not in the general usage of the word simple, but in the mathematical sense. You can, if you try very hard, formalize my preferences quite well; there's no magical emotional black-box where things beyond my understanding somehow "just happen" - I tried to find it for a long time, and believed something to be wrong with me for years; I never found anything, and I lived a life with more fulfillment, happiness and less drama than others who did have said magical black-box. 

As far as I'm concerned, I do have said knowledge; I know exactly who I am, who I will be, and why. I can't imagine it being otherwise; It may come off as arrogant, but that's not the way I mean it. I sincerely *do not understand* what it's like not understanding yourself. I don't understand people who say "I don't know what I'd do in situation X" - How can you not know that? 

In the end, a relationship, just as anything else is a tool to actualize my vision. If I love someone who has the same vision, we will complement each other and be an useful asset to each other. My vision has clear, defineable parameters. So why wouldn't an ideal partner have those? The bottom line is, I already had decided on my partner before I ever met them; I just had to find a person who matched the set of parameters I set as ideal 

As for you; I don't know you well enough to say that  but I'm taken, so.. Sorry!


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## Graficcha (Dec 25, 2011)

How to Pick Your Life Partner - Part 1 | Wait But Why


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## marbleous (Feb 21, 2014)

Deal breakers include:

1. bad breath
2. leaves toilet seat up
3. constant knee shaking
4. dandruff
5. waits longer than 1 month to wash sheets
6. works night shift
7. doesn't floss


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## Chesire Tower (Jan 19, 2013)

*Deal Breakers:

*insensitivity, intolerance, abusive/control freak, lack of intellectual depth, ludicrously superficial, doesn't care about other people, manipulative, no female friends, problems with forgiveness, difficulty admitting to being wrong, rigid, self-absorbed, withholding, demanding, a bad temper, unreasonable jealousy, intrusiveness, not a Stephen Colbert fan.

*Demands:

*playful, silly, irreverent, compassionate, loves art and culture, independent, open minded, holistic, not afraid of showing vulnerability, integrity, possesses a passionate curiosity about life, has intellectual and emotional depth, fair, fun, non-judgemental, trusting, empathic, objective, interesting in personal growth, spiritual, can handle my insane sense of humour, consistent, grounded, worships Stephen Colbert :wink:.


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

*Deal breakers:*

- *Wants me to ditch my male friends.* Not happening. I have one friend since age 5, one since 11 and one since 15.. none of whom I have hooked up with in all this time, even when we were both single and at times slept in the same house. These are amongst my closest friends in the world, like family, and if someone can't be cool with that I can't be with him. It needs to be understood that my close male friends who are like brothers all my life (not to mention married to other people and live far away) aren't predators. They're the most loyal friends I had all my life. 

- *Doesn't trust me around other men. * To be clear, I'm not against a bit of visceral jealousy & protectiveness. In fact it's kind of hot. But I need him to trust me. I am not particularly outgoing, but I don't want to have to act like I have a pole up my ass and dress in a business suit when I'm singing on stage. It's one thing to express jealousy and ask about something... or take my hand boldly to claim his territory while another guy is talking to me (this is sexy) ... it's another thing to presume that every time I wear cute clothes I'm trying to pick up strangers, to treat me like a betrayer, etc. I've never cheated or hooked up with a stranger in my entire life and I have always shown off my legs. If he can't trust me.. he doesn't know me.

- *Won't cuddle or be physical outside of sex.* Physical touch is my primary love language. It's how I feel close to him. I don't hug or touch any of my other friends and I barely even hug my family, but with my man I want to express my love physically, in a variety of ways. I need him to be into this.

- *Politically liberal.* Immediate deal breaker. My friends are mostly liberal but I will not be intimate with a liberal.

*- Unhealthy diet and lifestyle. * This is contagious and I have a chronic illness so I need to be around people who care about their life. If he's unhealthy but very seriously willing to learn from me, that's acceptable. I just need someone who is on the same page as I am. I dont' have that much free time in a day, so it would be nice if he wanted to do physical things together, eat at decent restaurants, make healthy meals with me, etc. 

-* Uses drugs, smokes or drinks. * I don't care what he did in the distant past. I have a dark past too. I've tried everything under the sun. If he battled addictions and won, more power to him. But as of now I've won those battles long ago and I have been clean more than a decade, and I know through trial and error that a real relationship is not fulfilling with someone who has these habits. Exception: If he uses LSD or other psychadelics once in a while I'm ok with that. LSD is a spiritual enhancer. 

- *Wants me to "stop being emotional."* This is a losing battle. Besides, I'm relatively reasonable. Most of my emotions are expressed artistically. Compared to many women I hold it together well, I'm hard to offend, etc. So if I'm "too emotional" for him, basically, he's a pussy. Which leads me to the next deal-breaker..

- *Refuses to fight.* I need someone who stands up for what he believes. Stands up to me, stands up to others, protects me from other men when he needs to, even if it gets physical.

- *Overload of social and family events.* I love knowing someone's family and being close to them, and I'm cool with being anything from a friend to an arm piece occasionally, but I find a very active social life exhausting. If he expects me to join him on constant social escapades, I will be unhappy. Occasional is okay. Semi-regular low-key socializing is ok too.

- *Touts values and ideals but doesn't enact them*. "To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest." -Gandhi. To use a concrete example: a man who posts about feminism and lectures others on facebook but cheats on his girlfriends or expects his wife to cook for him and clean up after him. If you want traditional gender roles, that's cool - own up to it, though. I can't stand hypocrites.

- *Weak, wishy-washy, indecisive.* Gross.

- *Can't dominate me (intellectually, physically).* Outside of relationships, I'm not particularly hung up about my gender role. My friendships are the same regardless of gender, my attitude is the same around men and women, I am a thinker and a doer and like to lift weights and enjoy dirty or politically incorrect jokes. I don't wear makeup and heels. I am not a model for hollywood femininity. But with my man, I turn into a woman. I need a man who makes me feel like a woman, who makes me submit. I'm strong and fierce, and it's a rare man who is strong enough to make me weak at the knees and make me feel like a little girl with a crush, blushing and giggling and wanting to please him. I need someone to make me feel this way, submissive and vulnerable. Outside relationships I'm strong, always in charge... my relationship is the one place when I need to feel dominated. This doesn't mean I won't be his equal though. I imagine that if I met my ideal match, I'd dominate him emotionally, challenge him intellectually and personally, and have some talents that blow him away. He'd be just as addicted to me as I am to him.


*Demands:*

These are mostly reiterations of the above. Trusts me, likes to cuddle & touch in addition to sex, isn't liberal, is healthy and drug-free, accepts my emotions, is willing to fight for what he believes, stands for his values, makes me feel like a woman.


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## AliceWonder (Dec 11, 2014)

Dealbreakers for me :

A) She can't have her heart set on having biological children where I am the father. I don't want to pass on my epilepsy. Probably genetic as my nephew has it and two uncles had it.

B) She can't be overly possessive. If I want to call a phonesex line it isn't because I am bored with her, it is because I like role play. Sometimes I think I'll have to date a woman in that industry, as most outside do not seem to understand that.

C) She has to be sex positive. Sex is not a bad thing, and the taboos our culture has about sex I believe are damaging.

D) She has to be willing to put up with my odd quirks. I have many. And I will put up with hers.

Those four things would have to be discussed before a long term relationship.


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## TheProphetLaLa (Aug 18, 2014)

The insanity of that list!! LOL. Props to finding someone with all those qualifications though. You must have found him/her in Atlantis.

I don't have a list. I'll know if a person is right for me the more I spend time with them. People are all different. And traits are all relative.


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## ForestPaix (Aug 30, 2014)

I don't, but I've been dumped because I failed to praise and flatter for one little thing. Apparently that's a deal breaker......I would try to be a hundred percent certain about someone, in order to avoid conflict in the long run. But when all is said and done, relationships aren't going to be perfect and require a lot of work and commitment. There will always be times when you just want to call the whole thing quits. Demands? I wouldn't demand anything, that's selfish. Love is about giving to each other, not taking.


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## sink (May 21, 2014)

Cheating. Cheating is an absolute deal breaker for me.

Otherwise I don't really have a long list of demands. I have certain preferences, sure. But those can also be ignored, depending on the person and circumstances.


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## Ermenegildo (Feb 25, 2014)

Chewing chewing gum
Smoking
Nail biting
Piercings
Speaking with one's mouth full
Dyed hair
Makeup
Earrings
Misusing curtains as handkerchiefs


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## Hei (Jul 8, 2014)

Prismira Vex said:


> Do you have any hard demands or deal breakers in looking for a serious romantic partner?
> 
> You have... interesting demands... very... valued... I suppose is the right word?
> 
> ...


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## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

Must be female, relatively attractive, and not morbidly obese or thin.


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## DAPHNE XO (Jan 16, 2012)

Animal said:


> *...*


I read your list with interest, but I have to ask, what do you mean by "liberal?" That word means different things in different contexts, does it mean you are more republican?

Just asking because I have no idea.

=============

Anyway, my list:

1) Has to be themselves - I literally DGAF who you are, or what you do, but just be you. Don't be looking for outsiders for your validation, that shit will bore me within a day.

2) Has to understand the basic concept of "mutual respect" - don't go out of your way to diss me in front of others and expect me to just take it like some kind of wuss. I will always give as good as I get, but if you do something to piss me off knowing it will piss me off, the gloves will come off.

3) Doesn't "gossip" - it's such a pointless thing to do in a relationship because it is certain to drive both of us apart. Relationships that don't have the support of family and friends are rarely happy relationships, don't add fuel to the fire by spreading lies that are supposed to make you out to be the victim, and me the villain. Everyone loses. Everyone. So don't do that shit. It can really damage the foundation of a relationship. I'd much prefer it if they just came to me directly and we sorted things out between ourselves.

4) Doesn't patronise me - this is huge. I don't need someone to make me feel like a retard for having my own opinion. Thank you and goodbye. *waves you out the door.*

5) Financially savvy - I'm a saver, not really a spender. For reasons. I just need someone to complement this side of me.

6) Is easygoing for the most part - Now that I have my anger mood swings in control, I'm not looking for someone who's going to need babying.

7) Prefers a 'Yours, Mine, Ours' approach to our relationship both internally and externally. This relates to 1) but there's no way in hell I'll be prioritising our relationship as the most important thing in my life. It's not and never will be. You'll be a major factor, but not the only factor. I'm too restless for that shit.

I think that's it really.


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## AliceWonder (Dec 11, 2014)

ForestPaix said:


> I don't, but I've been dumped because...


If that photo is you, his loss.


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## Fredward (Sep 21, 2013)

AliceWonder said:


> If that photo is you, his loss.


If the photo _wasn't _of her whose loss would it be?


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## ForestPaix (Aug 30, 2014)

AliceWonder said:


> If that photo is you, his loss.


Gosh thanks! Yeah it's me and my dog.


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## ForestPaix (Aug 30, 2014)

Ermenegildo said:


> Misusing curtains as handkerchiefs


That happened? D:


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

DaphneDelRey said:


> I read your list with interest, but I have to ask, what do you mean by "liberal?" That word means different things in different contexts, does it mean you are more republican?


Conservative is different than republican.. that party is an utter distortion of conservatism and I don't agree with half of their platform.

I wrote a bunch of posts about my views ...


* *





All over this thread, but these are some.. about why I'm anti-socialism.

http://personalitycafe.com/critical...58-why-i-am-conservative-23.html#post13103522

Concrete example:
http://personalitycafe.com/critical...58-why-i-am-conservative-26.html#post13131298

http://personalitycafe.com/critical...58-why-i-am-conservative-26.html#post13132418

http://personalitycafe.com/critical...58-why-i-am-conservative-27.html#post13133954

http://personalitycafe.com/critical...58-why-i-am-conservative-28.html#post13134378







This is what I was telling my friend on skype about this topic yesterday, for starters.


* *





[12/20/14, 3:00:27 PM] Zvir: i’ve really been forced to put my beliefs to the test. i used to consider myself liberal
[12/20/14, 3:00:41 PM] Zvir: and im not saying all liberals are hypocrites, but
[12/20/14, 3:00:44 PM] Zvir: in my case
[12/20/14, 3:00:54 PM] Zvir: it would have been hypocritical to continue calling myself something when my actions didnt match
[12/20/14, 3:01:27 PM] Zvir: for instance, rich liberals in new york city, hollywood and westchester
[12/20/14, 3:01:30 PM] Zvir: liberal activists
[12/20/14, 3:01:36 PM] Zvir: who have billions of dollars or millions
[12/20/14, 3:01:46 PM] Zvir: talking about how we, the middle class should pay higher taxes to give to the poor?
[12/20/14, 3:01:48 PM] Zvir: fuck them
[12/20/14, 3:01:53 PM] Zvir: if they have all that money let them give it away
[12/20/14, 3:01:59 PM] Zvir: michael moore has like 10 houses
[12/20/14, 3:02:02 PM] Zvir: fuck him
[12/20/14, 3:02:17 PM] Zvir: and he wants to write about the woes of capitalism while reaping the benefits
[12/20/14, 3:02:24 PM] Zvir: blatant hypocrisy. i couldnt live with myself.
[12/20/14, 3:02:43 PM] Zvir: i am actually much more generous, giving, i have been poor in brooklyn and sure, my parents would help me if desperate, but i have pride
[12/20/14, 3:02:49 PM] Zvir: and sometiems i would eat rice so i could feed my cat
[12/20/14, 3:02:53 PM] Zvir: and i would still give change to the poor
[12/20/14, 3:03:04 PM] Zvir: and i would still lend money to friends in need, or make dinner for them
[12/20/14, 3:03:09 PM] Zvir: i let so many people stay in my place for free
[12/20/14, 3:03:18 PM] Zvir: when they were being abused at home, or they got kicked out
[12/20/14, 3:03:20 PM] Zvir: and there i was, sick
[12/20/14, 3:03:24 PM] Zvir: holding it together
[12/20/14, 3:03:32 PM] Zvir: while all my heatlhy friends went out drinking and fucking and partying
[12/20/14, 3:03:35 PM] Zvir: and i was being so careful
[12/20/14, 3:03:39 PM] Zvir: to survive and be good to my body
[12/20/14, 3:03:46 PM] Zvir: and they would end up in all these connundrums and i would rescue them
[12/20/14, 3:04:04 PM] Zvir: and yet i was the only one admitting that i’m not willing to give all my wealth away to the poor - while i’m the only one actually doing it
[12/20/14, 3:04:12 PM] Zvir: and they’re all liberal
[12/20/14, 3:04:17 PM] Zvir: and hated me for my conservative views
[12/20/14, 3:04:25 PM] Zvir: but meanwhile i was catching them when they fall
[12/20/14, 3:04:34 PM] Zvir: and explainig that taking responsibility means that i deserve the benefits
[12/20/14, 3:04:36 PM] Zvir: that come with it
[12/20/14, 3:04:45 PM] Zvir: why should i have to pick up their drunk ass
[12/20/14, 3:04:49 PM] Zvir: i do it out of love
[12/20/14, 3:04:54 PM] Zvir: but im ABLE TO because im responsible
[12/20/14, 3:04:57 PM] Zvir: if i wasnt where would they go?
[12/20/14, 3:05:29 PM] Zvir: this made me hate liberalism.. not that i hate liberals on an individual basis.. but i hate liberalism enough that i won’t date a liberal
[12/20/14, 3:05:34 PM] Zvir: friends is fine
[12/20/14, 3:06:02 PM] Zvir: but i cant’ marry a hypocrite.. and im not willing to marry someone who isn’t a hypocrite thus , being a liberal non-hypocrite, gives all of our money away and keeps none
[12/20/14, 3:06:22 PM] Zvir: so either way i cant marry a liberal
[12/20/14, 3:06:39 PM] Zvir: and i dont think people really know what they would do with their money until they earn it
[12/20/14, 3:06:56 PM] Zvir: and at that point, if they don’t keep just enough to survive and give the rest away.. theyre not a true liberal
[12/20/14, 3:07:09 PM] Zvir: they have no right to bleat about equality
[12/20/14, 3:07:29 PM] Zvir: when you earn, and work hard
[12/20/14, 3:07:37 PM] Zvir: things come into focus in a different way
[12/20/14, 3:08:05 PM] Zvir: i do believe in equal opportunity
[12/20/14, 3:08:07 PM] Zvir: but people arent the same
[12/20/14, 3:08:13 PM] Zvir: and no two people will use that opportunity the same way

__
[12/20/14, 3:41:16 PM] Zvir: and i want to spend my money on things that i know will help people (rather than high taxes)
[12/20/14, 3:41:20 PM] Zvir: for instance lyme research
[12/20/14, 3:41:29 PM] Zvir: rather than put it in obama’s pocket to spend on studying chinese prostitutes
[12/20/14, 3:41:40 PM] Zvir: or just.. to have it evaporate into executive government hands
[12/20/14, 3:41:45 PM] Zvir: or programs i dont bleieve in
[12/20/14, 3:47:52 PM] Zvir: conservatives give much more money to charity in america than liberals
[12/20/14, 3:48:08 PM] Zvir: and every rich area in america - every top 25 richest counties..
[12/20/14, 3:48:13 PM] Zvir: like 23/25 are super liberal
[12/20/14, 3:48:18 PM] Zvir: always vote liberal
[12/20/14, 3:48:28 PM] Zvir: so , even if theres a ‘rich white conservativ’e myth being touted in the news its not true
[12/20/14, 3:48:31 PM] Zvir: there are a few yes
[12/20/14, 3:48:37 PM] Zvir: but not in the numbers of rich liberasl
[12/20/14, 3:48:48 PM] Zvir: so theres no excuse why conservatives give a lot more to charity
[12/20/14, 3:48:54 PM] Zvir: except that they believe in the causes they choose
[12/20/14, 3:49:01 PM] Zvir: and liberals want government to make everything equal
[12/20/14, 3:49:12 PM] Zvir: and apparently lack the capacity to do that themselves
[12/20/14, 3:49:19 PM] Zvir: thus they figure since they don’t do it, nobody will
[12/20/14, 3:49:24 PM] Zvir: and thats why they want bigger government imo


[12/20/14, 3:50:09 PM] Zvir: and they think society will collapse if someone doesnt force people to pay high taxes for the poor (even tho most o that money goes to gov’t and not to the poor)
[12/20/14, 3:50:25 PM] Zvir: conservatives who give to local charities know that this is possible so they dont want to be forced to give more money away
[12/20/14, 3:51:46 PM] Zvir: of course this is a generalization
[12/20/14, 3:51:53 PM] Zvir: there are charitable liberals and uncharitable conservatives
[12/20/14, 3:52:02 PM] Zvir: but the mindset is pretty consistent and i can back that with figures
[12/20/14, 3:52:19 PM] Zvir: so its not an insane generalization to make
[12/20/14, 3:52:22 PM] Zvir: and i see why
[12/20/14, 3:52:29 PM] Zvir: like i see how the whole mindset fits together - higher taxes, less individual responsibility


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## Bugs (May 13, 2014)

I have a few only. 

1) Be who you advertise you are. I really don't want buyer's remorse :laughing:
2) Don't cheat. Loyalty is valued. If we would rather experiment with other people call off the relationship first as a sign of respect.
4) You have to think zombie ninja pirates riding robot unicorns are pretty awesome.


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## DAPHNE XO (Jan 16, 2012)

Animal said:


> Conservative is different than republican.. that party is an utter distortion of conservatism and I don't agree with half of their platform.
> 
> I wrote a bunch of posts about my views ...
> 
> ...


You sound like an economic liberal to be honest, lol. Which is why I was asking. But I'm 100% behind you on that point.

I recently joined a university society to try and learn more about Finance speak, the guy who runs it was a private investor/economist for decades. In the second meeting he popped out graphs and charts to show us that any form of government manipulation in the markets has ripple effects that may show up decades later, but ultimately make poor people poorer and the rich richer.

It blew my mind, and I've been on the economic liberal side ever since. (Well I pretty much was before to be honest, but it was more of an intuitive thing - I didn't have any solid basis/foundation for my beliefs except "it just feels right, I dunno"). Like you, I have no problems handing out money even when I can't really afford to give. My sister would know, she's always borrowing from me *rolls eyes* but the whole socialist movement isn't for me anymore. Not that it's hypocritical, mainly because it doesn't work. What ends up happening is that people keep wanting more, and the number of people keep growing, so the people that end up paying for all this _are _the middle class folk. The regulars who know how to save (when interest rates are low, savers lose money) and make financially prudent choices. This is all due to the government getting involved in the markets and manipulating everything (when this happens it takes longer for the market to correct itself because the government's manipulation causes bubbles - housing bubble anyone?).

I've always been a saver, it comes really naturally to me. And like I said in my list, I'd need someone to complement that.

But yeah, I am 100% behind you when you talk about the Great Socialism Con - it sells the lie that everyone is equal, while actually making everything worse for everyone (except rich people who can afford to weather the recession storm).


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

DaphneDelRey said:


> You sound like an economic liberal to be honest, lol. Which is why I was asking. But I'm 100% behind you on that point.
> 
> I recently joined a university society to try and learn more about Finance speak, the guy who runs it was a private investor/economist for decades. In the second meeting he popped out graphs and charts to show us that any form of government manipulation in the markets has ripple effects that may show up decades later, but ultimately make poor people poorer and the rich richer.
> 
> ...


Hehe. It's interesting that you call it 'liberal' and I call it 'conservative' - but we do seem to agree. I wrote some posts earlier in the thread which may be more classically conservative.. but.. I suppose I am much more interested in arguing about ideology than about labels. In other words I don't care what someone calls it, liberal or conservative, but if their values are sound and not hypocritical, and work well with mine, I can be with them. I'm fine with having major ideological clashes with friends, but with a partnership we need to be at least in the same general mindset even if we disagree about fine points or, in a case like this, labels.

Also thank you so much for being reasonable about it and actually asking about my views. It's really nice that some people are willing to be open to hear view points and really look into them! You seem like an awesome person. 


* *





http://personalitycafe.com/critical...58-why-i-am-conservative-15.html#post12941242

http://personalitycafe.com/critical...58-why-i-am-conservative-16.html#post12945738

http://personalitycafe.com/critical...58-why-i-am-conservative-16.html#post12946418




^ This is among some reasons why I'd still consider myself conservative, but I am , by no means, attached to a label - wherever my ideology falls is what I am. I don't even love the idea of labeling myself since I come up with views separately, rather than party-based ... I assess each situation for what it is. For instance I wrote this post about my views on gay marraige and why I am pro gay marriage..


* *





http://personalitycafe.com/critical...58-why-i-am-conservative-22.html#post13007970



My views on that topic are more based in why I think it's good for society and children in general, than simply the idea that "OMG its so unfair!" ... although of course that part of it plays into my thinking as well.


But all that considered, I do consider myself conservative, not because I agree with "republicans" or parties that claim to be conservative on every fine point - but because I think in general I'm more of a traditionalist, family-values oriented, go-back-to-roots, preservationalist type thinker. And I'm inclined to value personal responsibility, freedom over enforced equality, etc. Between the two major parties in the USA - there are politicians on the republican side who I hate, like Santorum.. but in general I find them the lesser of two evils for many reasons, including their historical views on racism, and the fact htat the democratic party initially formed in order to support the continuation of slavery in the south... and the KKK was democratic.. and contrary to popular belief I don't think much has changed in terms of who is really trying to oppose racism. I think the media blows the republicans' stances out of proportion and paints them in a bad light, but in general I find democratic policy to be making it worse. The democrats are inflaming the issue but using the guise of "racist republicans" and the media is painting them in a better light, but when I see the actual affects of their policies and bullshit, I don't buy that anything has actually changed. People will argue about this ad nauseum and I don't want to start a huge derail on it - I'm happy to just "agree to disagree" in this context - but if i have a partner who can't see that the way I see it, and he's unable to convince me that he's right.. I don't know if I could be happy with him. I feel too strongly about the topic and I need to stand behind the party, ideology and proposals that I feel will make the issue better instead of worse. MLK was republican and I stand behind much of what he stood for.


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## DAPHNE XO (Jan 16, 2012)

Animal said:


> Hehe. It's interesting that you call it 'liberal' and I call it 'conservative' - but we do seem to agree. I wrote some posts earlier in the thread which may be more classically conservative.. but.. I suppose I am much more interested in arguing about ideology than about labels. In other words I don't care what someone calls it, liberal or conservative, but if their values are sound and not hypocritical, and work well with mine, I can be with them. I'm fine with having major ideological clashes with friends, but with a partnership we need to be at least in the same general mindset even if we disagree about fine points or, in a case like this, labels.
> 
> Also thank you so much for being reasonable about it and actually asking about my views. It's really nice that some people are willing to be open to hear view points and really look into them! You seem like an awesome person.
> 
> ...


No worries, you can be an economic liberal and conservative as well to be honest, they do fall in line in the same beliefs - especially when it comes to money and the redistribution of wealth.

I, too, am conservative in political leanings to be fair. Mainly because I'm an economic liberal and the Labour government in the UK (which is meant to be NuLabour - aka sort of for the people and hence 'Socialist' but only by name)... Anyway, they are going to financially bankrupt our country but no one cares... All the care about is "free" healthcare. Except it's not free at all. The NHS right now is a fucking shambles, and everyone is blaming the Conservatives.

But this is the song and dance we do every four years - "Conservatives only care about rich people!!!! Better vote Labour in!!!!" four years later... "Labour have tanked the economy and can't be trusted!!!!! Better vote Conservatives in!!!!!!"

It's hivemind irrationality gone mad, but the reason is because everyone is so dependent on the government that the idea of 'what can I do for myself?' is completely lost and has been replaced with 'what is the government doing for me?'

To be honest our political leaning is incredibly similar. I'm so sick of people expecting the government to come in and save the day all the time. Why? And the hypocrisy shows in the "liberal" thinking very clearly when you hear how much they want the government to "save" minorities, most especially black people, but as soon as it come to any other governmental policy all of a sudden it's, "the government can't be trusted!" Really?! So why the hell are you entrusting them with the lives of vulnerable minorities?!

I don't mind paying high taxes, I do sort of belong in the bracket of people who would, but all taxes are "progressive" by name and that's about it. Taxes are actually _incredibly_ _regressive _by nature because everyone pays for basics, but only rich people pay for basics *and *luxuries. For someone on £800 a month, rent and food (basics) eat up a huge chunk of your salary than someone on £8,000 a month - which is why any talk on tax on mainstream news is almost always a red herring. Tax isn't the issue, inflation is because taxing the rich solves nothing as any smart rich person will move their money out of the economy so fast (and they don't have to do it illegally either, they just buy more luxuries), so once again who suffers? People in the middle class, but doesn't matter because politicians attacking rich people win the poor (majority) votes.

Urgh.


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

DaphneDelRey said:


> I read your list with interest, but I have to ask, what do you mean by "liberal?" That word means different things in different contexts, does it mean you are more republican?
> 
> Just asking because I have no idea.
> 
> =============


Liberal in europe means like, conservative politically, but progressive culturally. Like being pro-choice, anti-war-on-drugs, pro-gay marriage, but against large taxes, lots of regulations, against big government, against rabid animal's rights/environmentalism stuff, for tighter immigration laws for uncivilised people.


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

I'm kind of hard to describe in conservative/liberal terms, really. I would say I am a radically free-spirited conservative... It's a bit like... I don't have "Family values", I think gender roles are obscene, I don't have a problem with gay folks, am pro-abortion, against the war on drugs... BUT.

I also place very high value on classical art, music, I think history is important, I think everyone should be taught certain traditions. I believe in class, I am a bit of a puritan.. I think things like Miley Cyrus are really nasty, a degeneration of culture. I believe in small government, personal responsibility, and hierarchy of the classes. I do not like egalitarianism, socialism, etc. I like the idea of aristocracy, of people being highly cultured, wealthy and aspiring for perfection, in stead of "accepting their flaws." 

I want people to be less tolerant, but less tolerant against THE RIGHT things... Things like religious bullshit (Islam in particular), homophobia, transphobia or racism have no place in our culture. And now we're on the topic of gender roles... I think the "male aristocrat" role (which traditionally were white men; Greek philosophers, 17 century scientists, gilded age industrialists) should be assumed by everyone regardless of gender, leading to society becoming less family-oriented and more colleague/friendship/ideological group oriented.. A society where strength, succes, being an erudite, dandy fashion, being eloquent is being valued.

Where being intellectual, curious, affluent, self-conscious and striving for perfection are higher values than being nurturing or egalitarian. More high culture, more pride, less bullshit...


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