# Isfp?



## Narrator (Oct 11, 2009)

Doubt was expressed over my type after people watch this video, and I'm curious as to a third opinion.

Video1.flv video by Aki_LZ - Photobucket

That's me (on the far right) being pretty energized, I think the camera+group dynamic of the day sort've topped me up a little.

I can do a shpeel on my opinion/general descriptor if it helps...I'll try and keep it short. But just telling me what you think about in the video and why is fine.

I'm sort've a Fe user lacking empathy (I find it easier to relate and empathise with characters rather than people in real life as I can get a more secure, tangible grasp on who they are, and don't worry about it being bad or good that I put my faith and care in them and can distance myself if it gets too painful) I've alwas felt myself to be a big load of particles, vulnerable to energies, whether energised, or having the energy sucked out, an introvert who isn't comfortable with silence (learning to deal with it) because I'm a ball of anxiety and low self esteem and confidence, my intuition is something that branches outwards; that snowballs, like an ever expanding brainstorm, I'm adverse to being told what to do if the person doesn't approach me in the right way, I build up a big picture using many, many small details, take things concretely to the point of confusion and gullibility, I have to excersize extream control so as not to go on for a long time in these description things - essays inschool and college always go at least 50% over the word count. I relate alot to both ??/sx 6w7 (I believe sp/sx) and so/sx 4w3 in the ennegram. I'm a MASSIVE intimacy phobe relationship wise. Being too close to someone takes me down the health. In unhealth (I'm guessing unhealthiness can point out type related behaviours) I can switch off inside, I may do terrible things, but I'm just not there, and retract from responsibility and emotional connections without realising it. I'll function just fine on the outside. When not switched off inside when unhealthy I revert to quiet self destruction, not understanding my feelings but living inpain and anxiety - I went through a year of IBS and depression every morning without realising/identifying the feelings. I find it hard to connect words sometimes, and when stressed my thoughts can grow very incoherent/my memory can become very difficult to control/use. I _dislike _not knowing where I am with a person. I had (and still have, to some extent), for a long time, problems with _bad _feelings and states, and _good _feelings and states, which would explain away the constant, ever changing sense of _badness _and fear that undertones my incoherent feelings, like a dark moster you're never really looking at but a part of you deep down knows is there. I've had problems before with befriending the wrong person...and grow towards codependance with them (and not putting enough of myself into my other relationships)/distancing myself completely because I felt overwhelmed after emersing myself in their love, care and support, which stems from daddy issues, to be concise. I can have pretty one track focus regarding feelings/people/things - if I'm not focusing on it, it gets put into the background/may not exist to me at all - for example innatentivenes to friends/emotions/my environment, forgetting why I'm halfway up the stairs, where I put my pen when I'm holding it, not realising I'm worried about someone untill I start sobbing uncontrolably. In this way I can be neglectful of sp needs - feeding/drinking/washing/getting out if I'm focused on work, going hours and hours and hours without moving from my spot and forgetting my hunger (I type this after realising I've not drunk anything for the last nine hours).

I was the weird kid in my first school (aged 4-7) had one good female friend who was the only other one interested in a fantasy world, not boyfriends, phones, music, fashion - we didn't have a TV 'till I was 6/7, I wasn't aware/didn't care about fashion and clothing 'till I was about 13, and didn't associate with my face till around then. I had a very skewed body image 'till I was about 17, and suffered with social anxiety from about 14-16 when I wasn't with friends, and even with them suffered low confidence, and deep subconscious irrationality (I still hold the irrationality, though it's not nearly as strong).

I hate to spill my guts out (I _hate _counselling), but there you are.

Also I enjoy philosophy and other creative subjects; art and english literature. I enjoy physical activities such as dance, and jogging.

My dreams become more vivid the more intense my emotional ladnscape/experiences get.

The person who reads me best - my ISFJ mum, and INFJ friend (according to herself), worst - according to themself an INTP friend. I get mixed reactions in regards to how easy to read I am - some say my emotions are on my face haven't go the faintest. I'm getting better at hiding them, though I started off utterly clueless. Actually there was an INxP who was _excellent _at reading me, better than anyone I've ever met; too good.

Regarding J/P, I'm not organised (or down to earth), I procrastinate like crazy unless it's life or death (the teacher is terrifying), I don't feel any real compulsion to keep my outside world in line, I relate much more to needing my inner world to be ordered in a good way, to be good. I enjoy others being spontaneous, and when I have the confidence and energy to be spontaneous, I feel very happy and safe. I do however dislike great changes, and vague instructions - I need them to be specific, with examples often. I find it hard getting at agendas/what a person really wants is getting at - at least in philosophy I know that for sure, and i think it's true in other areas. I do trust my intuition, and sponteneity regarding creativity. Bu my inner world can be a little tense/almost supersitious.

My relationship with authority - mostly I desire to please/be helpful/do well and get praise, the more I like/respect (though not always together), the more good I want to be. If I don't like them (this is RARE, my mum says I've got an extrodrdinarily non judgemental character - although I'm branching out a little, trying to be less good, which always was a way of reducing anxiety and sense of badness - unless I don't know where I am with the person and I'm not getting slimy/distrustful/guhh vibes, I generally like, and want to like people), I digg heels, I piss about, I won't give a damn what you say or do, and will not comply if you try to tell me what to do. If I just don't trust you, it's mainly because I can't be sure of your character and will proceed with caution and directness so as to avoid even more unsettling and shady behaviour on your part.


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## Functianalyst (Jul 23, 2009)

So what's the problem Lim? Why are people specifically questioning your type, and please tell me it is not based on the video. BTW, great accent.


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## Narrator (Oct 11, 2009)

It is the video they question. You have me worried now  Nyahh *flails* Why is it a bad thing that they question based on the video?


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## Functianalyst (Jul 23, 2009)

Liminality said:


> It is the video they question. You have me worried now  Nyahh *flails* Why is it a bad thing that they question based on the video?


Extraversin and introversion in type has NOTHING TO DO WITH being gregarious or shy. Clearly it may take an introvert more time to warm up, but once they do they can be very lively, especially ISPs. I am always confused as extravert. E/I merely gives an indication of how we prefer to focus our energy.

If someone had put a camera in front of you on the spot, you may have been a very different person. The video may not have been scripted, but I assume you did have time to think about and rehearse what you were going to say? You were performing for the camera.


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## Narrator (Oct 11, 2009)

I think it was more the J/P aspect they were questioning - only one was specific (apparently) enough to suggest i seemed more like an ISFJ because I didn't have the ISFP vibe (lord knows what they meant), and didn't seem weak willed/shy enough, a friend on the INTP forum posted it up and I never really got a clear answer as to what anyone else though.

I know I'm able to put in a front/ish, it's hard to explain...I guess I can put up an energy front, perform like you say, but I can't tell if I use an ISFP or ISFJ technique... I generally relate to ISFP descriptions, but function wise it gets a little...


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## Functianalyst (Jul 23, 2009)

Liminality said:


> I think it was more the J/P aspect they were questioning - only one was specific (apparently) enough to suggest i seemed more like an ISFJ because I didn't have the ISFP vibe (lord knows what they meant), and didn't seem weak willed/shy enough, a friend on the INTP forum posted it up and I never really got a clear answer as to what anyone else though.


I am not sure what they meant either. Granted all introverting functions are used internally, but only Myers says that the introverted function is unnoticeable. Jung says that it is very noticeable. People see the thinking in me and if remotely knowledegable of type, assume it has to be Te. My Ti is very noticeable, as is your Fi and someone knowing type somewhat may erroneously assume that it must be Fe if they follow Myers. So your friend is correct from that standpoint, you are a "J" since Fi is a judging function.



Liminality said:


> I know I'm able to put in a front/ish, it's hard to explain...I guess I can put up an energy front, perform like you say, but I can't tell if I use an ISFP or ISFJ technique... I generally relate to ISFP descriptions, but function wise it gets a little...


SFPs are not called entertainers for no reason. I know ISFJs who could not ad lib their way through the next step they took. Besides they would be running from the camera or half the time repeating, I don't know what to say.


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## Narrator (Oct 11, 2009)

Functianalyst said:


> as is your Fi and someone knowing type somewhat may erroneously assume that it must be Fe if they follow Myers.


Why do you think it is noticable? I find Fe/Fi one of the harder ones to be sure of...But I don't know if this is down to a loss of self-confidence were the phrase to be taken literally. I lost touch with things, and trust in myself a few years ago because of one of my trips down unhealth lane.


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## Functianalyst (Jul 23, 2009)

Liminality said:


> Why do you think it is noticable? I find Fe/Fi one of the harder ones to be sure of...But I don't know if this is down to a loss of self-confidence were the phrase to be taken literally. I lost touch with things, and trust in myself a few years ago because of one of my trips down unhealth lane.


It's not the actual function they see, it's the general function. The only few times that I have attempted to guess someone's type at work, is assuming that they were both some sort of Se types. One is an ISFJ and the other, who actually does MBTI training is ISTJ. I was shocked that the ISTJ was anything but. 

When people describe me, they use words like intelligent, intellectual, etc.. They see the thinking not the Se as Myers asserts. Generally they're not aware of MBTI, but those who are would assume that since the thinking is so prevalent, I must be Te. No, I am Ti and Jung said it was just as noticeable.


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## Halfjillhalfjack (Sep 23, 2009)

I think I didn't say anything on the video forum, but I also started to think about your type and about you being an ISFP..... BUT, I have to say, even though I thought "mh..... different from other ISFPs I know", I think I caught myself out STEREOTYPING....because....I cannot really say what made me doubt that you are and ISFP, so, I may just only be a victim of my own stereotypes......and you could just well be proof for the fact that not one person of the same MBTI-type as another is alike.....and I think this is actually a very comforting idea, that even though there are only 16 personality types (which could also be argued against), there are billions of individual people...


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## Brie (Nov 26, 2009)

I honestly don't see how anyone could determine your type from that short little video. I mean, it didn't seem like you talked very much. I could see that you were energized by being around your friends and doing a fun project together; maybe you would've acted differently if you were doing the video alone?

I can relate to you a lot on your J vs P description; in fact I have wondered myself if I was an ISFJ. And I also have an ISFJ mom who understands me better than anyone else. I want to say that the overall personality descriptions could be used as a deciding factor, but I'm rethinking that, because there seems to be so many different interpretations.

Have you thought about Se vs Si?


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## Narrator (Oct 11, 2009)

Haha, woo for an ISFJ mum like that x), very mature and well developed if the myriad of unhealthy stereotypes is anything to go by (I think they're just stereotypes which miss out many of the positive qualities)

Yes, I think cameras, group dynamics, and performing energise me. When alone or with family I can be incredibly quiet, quieter than my epically reserved ISTJ father. With friends it varies.

I've been considering Se vs Si and Fe vs Fi (As I relate more to ISFP descriptions, and little, if at all to ISFJ descriptions, little to actual ISFJs - organization and being grounded and down to earth are not things I would ever describe myself as, and so forth, nor a martyr unless it comes to getting people presents and then I'm well aware it makes me happy to see other friends happy, but I think it's illogical to over extend myself or to expect back where I wasn't asked to help, or to give in the first place)

I do wonder about Fi, Fe itself, without the idea of empathy kind've does make sense - I respond, often unconsciously to energy. If it's feelings I'm responding to (and NOT energy), I'm utterly unaware of what they feel like unless they're exceptionally strong, and even then they can just be absorbed into my own - I partially absorbed anothers depression for maybe ten months without realising it - even then I'm not sure how much of it was mine, how much of it was theirs, whether it was just their being a friend with strong emotions, and sort've triggering something painful, helpless and tired in myself, or just that we were all at a bad time... I have principals, but strong, turbulent feelings? I relate alot to when handiace mentioned only getting my feelings when others reflect them back at me. As a child and for the most part of the first half of my teens I would get very very emotional over issues and would say I related to Fi, but after a while I noticed a receeding of conscious emoting. It comes flooding back in when certain things provoke a reaction, but mostly it feels a little like I've been taking anti depressants.  When it comes to movies/books however, I'm all emoting, I'm not sure if it's just because it's 'safe', or that I find it easier to get emotional patters, trust what I'm seeing and so forth...

I wonder if it's since I went through some pretty horrific times, emotionally, and just can't take the possible negative associations with connecting to anything close to my old pain. Connecting to others is something that's hit or miss, either I'm right in their emotional world, and they're right in mine (It's happened once), or I have real trouble connecting. Although there's an INFJ friend who says she can read me like a bok, which is about the distance I'm comfortable one. It's sort've quietly present that she gets me (atleast I'm guessing, I don't actually know how well she does read me), but me for others... I sort've with I was better, or at least had more faith in my self and my abilities.

As for Se Vs Si, I'm not impulsive (this comes when I'm unhealthy, or healthy doing art and just go with it) but the energy is what I associate with Se - never being quite the same person, but perhaps this is Fe. If I were to say Si+Fe worked, I'd call it in terms of me treasuring memories, emotions - emotional scapes, say of a series, or music, or art - and such, rather than traditions and other SJ stuff, which I don't relate to, at least I don't think I do.


How would others describe the ISFPs they know? (In what way do I differ from typical reactions/experiences/vibes etc) For what it's worth would there be other types I resonate as/what're they like in terms of vibe/behaviours?

Maybe my enneagram makes a difference, I unno.


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## Narrator (Oct 11, 2009)

Double post, sorry. Things I'm starting to wonder about.

Although, thinking about helping others...if I have a sense of guilt/can identify issues in the person I think I relate to, and with my tendancy to one track focus, I can center in on one person and do _everything _I can, possibly too much, to make things easier...Actually...maybe I am a little guilty of over extending myself for select people .

And reading through this - http://personalitycafe.com/isfj-for...unhealthy-indenial-isfj-male-look-like-2.html some of these things really do resonate...

If there is a tendancy to idealising romance, yes, and a tendancy to...I don't know...maybe deny emotions, again, yes. If an emotion doesn't feel _right_, doesn't feel _safe_, I can't stand feeling it. Maybe that's a Si thing - I've not got my head around it - in others too, if their emotions/motivations arn't clear, on the table to me, and things I've not got my head round I find them to be unnerving and can find it impossible to empathise with them because I don't _get _them.

My ISFJ mum had to help me identify when I was feeling stressed when I was going through a tough period (and other times - just yesterday she's all 'you look tired...' and I had no idea until she'd said and I had time to verify it -, and I could run myself into the ground with school work and things because I didn't recognise I was exhausting myself from needing to do and be _good_.

And yeah, psychosomatical problems and not taking care of myself due to forgetfulness/not recongnising things like above is also true.

I used to get lots of unexplainable aches and pains and issues as a kid, and sometimes now, even going to the doctor, but there never really being anything wrong. Even sometimes now.

On a sort've un related note, my mum found photos of her ex-boyfriends of the past, and when I asked her what they were like she ended up concluding that they were all 'tourtured soul's...'like moths to a flame' I'm not sure if she meant they or she were drawn xD.


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## Brie (Nov 26, 2009)

Well, I don't know much about Fe (and still don't completely understand what it's supposed to look like), but considering Si is the ISFJ's dominant function, it might also help to look into that more.


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## HandiAce (Nov 27, 2009)

I see ISFPs much like INFPs, at least the females: They have a sort of innocence in them. When I talk to an ISFP (I suspect the person is an ISFP), they listen in curiosity, but often end up looking confused or let out a small laugh as if they don't get it after I finished talking. And I'm always serious when I speak!

It's REALLY cute actually!

ISXJs and ISFPs are both actually into aesthetics. See my avatar? I picked it because it is pleasing to my eye! I just think ISFPs are inheritantly very casual about expressing themselves. They want to take their things at their own pace. Not me! I feel pushed to move and get things done!... the right and thorough way though!


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## Narrator (Oct 11, 2009)

HandiAce said:


> They want to take their things at their own pace. Not me! I feel pushed to move and get things done!... the right and thorough way though!


 :laughing: My mum often criticises me for going at my own pace, like I 'live in a time frame of [my] own'.

I guess, would anyone hazzard a proposition as to what I do vibe like? Out of curiosity.


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