# Do women actually desire sex?



## Surreal Snake (Nov 17, 2009)

Yes..Yes..


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## n2freedom (Jun 2, 2011)

Therapist said:


> What's to understand? You get a boner, slap her titties around some and then stick it inside her and pee. Well, okay, fine. Unless you don't want to get her pregnant, then you pull it out and pee on her leg.


Oh my....ROFLMAO!!! Are you any kin to R. Kelly? Talk about "Golden Showers".....:shocked:


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

I desire meaningful sex. I don't come onto guys unless I want to keep them for life, but when I am in a relationship with someone, I am willing to do all kinds of wild, experimental things. I need sex to be an expression of our preexisting psychological intimacy. Without a heart-level spiritual connection it is pretty much pointless. That's why you don't see me hitting on strangers. At any given time, there is usually only one person I want, and I will desire him with all of my intensity in a blissfully sacrificial manner.


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

Jennywocky said:


> Oh dear.
> 
> 
> Not sure I agree with you about the "no sex with friends" thing.
> ...


I did the friend thing once and didn't turn out too well. Besides, people respond differently to someone who's interested in them sexually as opposed to a buddy. I do get the need a lot of people have to know people before sex or getting involved with someone, but it doesn't mesh well for me, but then again you're a pretty decent person and I'm so much more devious.


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

Ever heard of ovulation? It's this magical feeling a woman gets every month when she wants to screw the closest person or object repeatedly for three days straight. Aand this is how babies are made.


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## Peacock (Mar 11, 2011)

I have a higher sex drive than pretty much everyone I know.... don't hide it well.
Good thing I'm a committed sex addict.


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

Peacock said:


> I have a higher sex drive than pretty much everyone I know.... don't hide it well.
> Good thing I'm a committed sex addict.


Must resist urge for joke...

To the op,

It's pretty clear where women stand on the desire for sex. The other half of your op, where women don't come on to you is another matter entirely.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

hziegel said:


> Ever heard of ovulation? It's this magical feeling a woman gets every month when she wants to screw the closest person or object repeatedly for three days straight. Aand this is how babies are made.


omg that feeling! For real! 

But for me it isn't "the closest person." It's a very specific person. Still, my fantasies get very wild and sometimes unrealistic, and I start wanting to be abnormally sexually submissive, sometimes in ways that would be physically impossible.


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

snail said:


> omg that feeling! For real!
> 
> But for me it isn't "the closest person." It's a very specific person. Still, my fantasies get very wild and sometimes unrealistic, and I start wanting to be abnormally sexually submissive, sometimes in ways that would be physically impossible.


Well, I guess the psychologically closest person, or whichever one comes to mind first... for me it's like *everyone*, sigh. More of a passing hormonal response though, not like I'd seriously do that.


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

android654 said:


> I did the friend thing once and didn't turn out too well. Besides, people respond differently to someone who's interested in them sexually as opposed to a buddy. I do get the need a lot of people have to know people before sex or getting involved with someone, but it doesn't mesh well for me, but then again you're a pretty decent person and I'm so much more devious.


Oh noes! I've got a reputation for decency! My life is over!

(Or maybe it'll just make a wonderful cover for my sad, secret, sordid life behind the mask....)


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## Dream Beamer (May 12, 2011)

I personally don't have much desire for sex, but I feel like the oddball out of my family, my mom, sister and my cousin are extremely sexual people, that's all they ever seem to think about when they see guys, they're also the type of women who can have sex multiple times a day every day and always in the mood for it.


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

Jennywocky said:


> Oh noes! I've got a reputation for decency! My life is over!
> 
> (Or maybe it'll just make a wonderful cover for my sad, secret, sordid life behind the mask....)


Don't worry Velma, I'm sure that facade will work on any number of football teams across the country.


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## Kr3m1in (Jan 16, 2011)

Do I desire sex?

Not one bit.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

Kr3m1in said:


> Do I desire sex?
> 
> Not one bit.


I wish you would stop breaking my Sarcasm Detectors, Kr3m1in.


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

Kr3m1in said:


> Do I desire sex?
> 
> Not one bit.


You're always a beacon of honesty.


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## Kr3m1in (Jan 16, 2011)

I don't desire it, I _have_ it.

And android, I thought you were saying 'bacon' and got excited.

And skycloud, someone's gotta break you in, baby boy ;P


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

Kr3m1in said:


> I don't desire it, I _have_ it.
> 
> And android, I thought you were saying 'bacon' and got excited.
> 
> And skycloud, someone's gotta break you in, baby boy ;P


LOL I guess that makes you the winner of the semantics war.

Bacon? That's gross.


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## Kr3m1in (Jan 16, 2011)

I am a priori the winner of the semantics war.

And bacon is power.


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## Calvaire (Nov 14, 2009)

*YES.*

*YES*

*YES*

*YES YES YES.*

Did I make my point


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## Runvardh (May 17, 2011)

I've had one fly 2000 miles and cross an international border for it...


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## Tahlia (Dec 14, 2009)

I think women in general very much desire sex!!!


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## Vaan (Dec 19, 2010)

I dont understand that either, the guys that i've known who try to show off are usually the fuckwits who dont get any -_-

My ex was borderline nymph, i was a little scared by it considering i'm not very sexual. But i thought this myth of women not wanting it was broken back in the 90's? why is it still an issue?


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## fievre (Mar 10, 2010)

Absolutely not. Sometimes I wonder why I have a vagina. :mellow:


Of course we desire it. When I know my boyfriend and I are spending the night together I spend all day in anticipation of the deed.

And for the summer while I've been away from him, I often spend my idle moments standing behind the register at work (of which there are plenty) replaying past intimate occasions and just generally fantasizing about him.
(Consider _that_ next time you're checking out somewhere.)


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Hiccups24-7 said:


> who said anything about bragging or sexual prowess? :S
> Ok twist my words.... but straighten them back out once you're done.. k? k.


I didn't say you said that. I was recollecting to myself from another thread going on in this section. Too much bragging on people's parts, some may be joking, but I doubt it.


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

Hiccups24-7 said:


> If they do it right obviously. Needless to say a guy can get this part wrong!
> 
> PS don't do it wrong ..do it right!


Its one thing to go up to some girl you just met or even one you know well and say, "I'm amazing at fucking. No seriously, like I'm a god with sex." If you do that, you've got no idea what you're doing and you're words echo the frustration emanating from your crotch.

However, if you're clever enough to know how to converse with people, and can steer conversations in a direction of your choosing, then you're either naturally inclined to be charming or have had much practice. At any rate, don't brag about what you can do, instead discuss actual experiences you've had using just the right amount of description to get your point across without going overboard and sounding ridiculous. Also be aware of the right environment. Its not the type of discussion you can whip out just about anywhere and anytime. Think of it as verbal chess, move the small unimportant conversation first, slowly transition to something more intense, and when her defenses have slowly weakened, you can verbally penetrate with the dialogue piece the captures the queen.

Its already seems complicated from the outside, don't make it more convoluted than it needs to be.


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## Hiccups24-7 (Oct 17, 2009)

I assumed my tongue in cheek humorous post wouldn't of required any reiteration but alas..... here we are. My thought was based on experiences I've had in the past that have worked for me, knowing someone for awhile and getting to know them and then working up to the comfortable stage of being able to discuss such topics without awkwardness. Having someone that can make light of the topic yet also show they know what they are on about at the same time. It builds intrigue that for some such as myself makes you fantasise what it would like to be with them and then next thing you know you have a desire to find out if the walk is as good as the talk. I never suggested that this is THE one and only way that is a guarantee for everyone in every situation (given much?) or that it works regardless of how one goes about it. I just thought I'd share it and do so in a humorous fashion. : S


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## Kr3m1in (Jan 16, 2011)

android654 said:


> Its one thing to go up to some girl you just met or even one you know well and say, "I'm amazing at fucking. No seriously, like I'm a god with sex." If you do that, you've got no idea what you're doing and you're words echo the frustration emanating from your crotch.
> 
> However, if you're clever enough to know how to converse with people, and can steer conversations in a direction of your choosing, then you're either naturally inclined to be charming or have had much practice. At any rate, don't brag about what you can do, instead discuss actual experiences you've had using just the right amount of description to get your point across without going overboard and sounding ridiculous. Also be aware of the right environment. Its not the type of discussion you can whip out just about anywhere and anytime. Think of it as verbal chess, move the small unimportant conversation first, slowly transition to something more intense, and when her defenses have slowly weakened, you can verbally penetrate with the dialogue piece the captures the queen.
> 
> Its already seems complicated from the outside, don't make it more convoluted than it needs to be.


That's some elaborate strategy, mate. I felt like I was reading the Cosmo advice section for a minute there.

I just broodingly drag on a cigarette. Bitches come running.


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## mrscientist (Jul 4, 2010)

android654 said:


> You don't know much about women, do you?


And you do? The arrogance on this one...


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## Ormazd (Jan 26, 2010)

It has been my experience that there is little difference between a man's sex drive and a woman's sex drive, generally speaking.


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## deepbluesun (Jun 2, 2011)

I really enjoy reading all of these different perspectives and experiences! Thank you guys - it's definitely helpful and besides that just plain interesting.

And steering the subject in a conversation? That shouldn't be too difficult, but there's definitely going to be a certain level of awkwardness when regarding sexual subjects, at least for the first few conversations. It's not something I've discussed with female friends, with one exception (and it involved a little alcohol to loosen things up beforehand). It was a good conversation, though, and it didn't feel out of place or odd.


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## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

Vaan said:


> I dont understand that either, the guys that i've known who try to show off are usually the fuckwits who dont get any -_-
> 
> My ex was borderline nymph, i was a little scared by it considering i'm not very sexual. But i thought this myth of women not wanting it was broken back in the 90's? why is it still an issue?


*That's a crass stereotype and you know it, Vaan.*

I don't show off and I _still _don't get any...


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

Kr3m1in said:


> That's some elaborate strategy, mate. I felt like I was reading the Cosmo advice section for a minute there.
> 
> I just broodingly drag on a cigarette. Bitches come running.


That's because you're a bitch magnet, some of us have to use our charms beyond just looking.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

iindigo said:


> And steering the subject in a conversation? That shouldn't be too difficult, but there's definitely going to be a certain level of awkwardness when regarding sexual subjects, at least for the first few conversations. It's not something I've discussed with female friends, with one exception (and it involved a little alcohol to loosen things up beforehand). It was a good conversation, though, and it didn't feel out of place or odd.


It depends upon the people, comfort level, intentions, attraction, many things...

A person I had asked to coffee, barely knew him, hadn't seen him in 6 months, and we talked about movies that had sexual themes. I'll say that I was madly attracted to him and let's just say it "worked out". In my case, I'm very comfortable talking about sex but it has to be with the right people.


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## Cover3 (Feb 2, 2011)

do women eat?


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## AussieChick (Dec 27, 2010)

I absolutely love sex,but it is something that has evolved as i have gotten older and more attuned to my body and sexual needs.I also am in my mid 40's like @n2freedom and in a very loving relationship.I feel very comfortable with my partner and love feeling sexy and desired by him.I have also started menopause and i guess at this stage of a woman's life sex is all about enjoying your sexuality and your partner.

Previously i was always considering my partners needs and neglecting my own.It was all about pleasing him and giving him an ejaculation.But now i realise that my sexual needs are important too,and my new partner enjoys pleasing me and bringing out the insatiable woman in me.


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## sprinkles (Feb 7, 2010)

Promethea said:


> Mating is only something that we do so we can kill and eat the male afterward.


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## Therapist (Nov 16, 2009)

MisterJordan said:


> *That's a crass stereotype and you know it, Vaan.*
> 
> I don't show off and I _still _don't get any...


You're doing it wrong. Clearly.


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## Vaan (Dec 19, 2010)

MisterJordan said:


> *That's a crass stereotype and you know it, Vaan.*
> 
> I don't show off and I _still _don't get any...


Giving a shit helps ^^


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## Sonne (Oct 29, 2010)

This question is actually an interesting one because as simple as it seems it brings up an interesting point about what sex means to each person, in this case women as individuals. Most women desire closeness and emotional intimacy with their partner, but this does not mean sex is always the ultimate goal. Instead, sex may be the outcome but the true desire is for physical contact and connection with the person. The emotional bond and/spiritual connection between two people is often heightened during sex, hence "emotional sex." So, sometimes, I think the real question is what kind of sex do women desire because she may desire emotional intimacy with her partner but necessarily want sex.


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## mrkedi (Nov 19, 2009)

iindigo said:


> Please forgive me if the question somehow seems naive or juvenile.
> 
> While I realize that this is the kind of thing that would vary from person to person, it something I sometimes wonder. As a 22 year old male, I have never had a female come on to me, act suggestively, or otherwise reveal that side of herself to me. After a while, it becomes difficult to imagine a woman being sexually interested in a man and acting accordingly.
> 
> ...


*Of course, women do want sex. But the question lies within the fact that who the lady choose to have sex with.
Like men, women won't hop on anything just because they are horny.
So instead of sitting here and ask yourself "Why no women hitting on me?"; ask youself "Why or how would make a women want to sleep with me?"*


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## tnredhead (Apr 5, 2011)

vivacissimamente said:


> I think I probably desire sex _more_ than a lot of males... :mellow:


+1. :-3 (though it wasn't always that way)



Hiccups24-7 said:


> If you wanna get some ... learn to talk about sex around women, make it sound like you are the king of the bedroom.. that you know _everything_ and you can make any girl explode in a multiple rainbow of blinding orgasm. Well.......... even if you're a complete n00b in the bedroom this will at least improve your chances of gaining access!...


This would turn me off, but only because in my experience, people who talk about how good they are at something typically aren't that great at it. It's like people who talk about how hard they work. They are usually the laziest people in the office XD. I've noticed that people who are truly talented don't talk about how talented they are (frankly, because they don't have to).

Also, I'm not going to have sex with you because you are a god (or goddess) in the bedroom. I'm going to have sex with you because I like you as a person, I desire you as a lover, and we are compatible as a couple. Women are different so just because you made your last girlfriend "explode into a multiple rainbow of blinding orgasm" doesn't mean you can do so with *all* women, at least initially. 



Silt said:


> ....In other words, they're selective about who they express or share their sexuality.


Very true. My sex drive is high but my number of partners is extremely low (well below average from the data I have seen on the subject).



Silt said:


> ....I think the real question is what kind of sex do women desire because she may desire emotional intimacy with her partner but necessarily want sex.


This is called sexualizing your needs. I try to avoid this, but we all do it from time to time.


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## ariana20 (Apr 18, 2010)

well, i desire and enjoy/love sex a great deal, i think about it very often and it is extremely important to me, i am very in touch with my sexuality, fantasies etc. i think all of this has increased greatly though since i was around the age you are now, so perhaps that is the same for girls you are around at the moment; i can only speak from my own experience though, i am sure many other young women feel differently, but, back then, had you asked me the same question i would have told you i wanted and enjoyed sex too, its only with maturity i realise how much that has changed


iindigo said:


> a female come on to me, act suggestively, or otherwise reveal that side of herself to me. After a while, it becomes difficult to imagine a woman being sexually interested in a man and acting accordingly.


i wonder what you are expecting a woman to actually do/say that 'displays' when she is sexually interested? perhaps you are expecting something very overt/obvious and are missing the more subtle clues that a woman sends out when she is attracted/interested (or perhaps you yourself are sending out the wrong clues) - perhaps you are expecting her to let you know when she is interested but you are not letting her know, or perhaps are going about it in the 'wrong' way
the other thing to bear in mind is that whilst a young woman might well be interested in and enjoy sex, what she may primarily be interested in is a relationship/boyfriend and if you are just looking for sex, whilst there *are* girls who are just up for being f**kbuddies, they may be fewer than you would hope for
however, a quick glance at a website like 'adult friend finder' tells me that there are lots of girls your age absolutely gagging for it lol
you also might find some interesting reading matter here #1 PUA Forum :: Pick Up Artist Mastery and if you have questions on how to pick up real girls in real life (as opposed to internet dating sites) there are lots of guys there with answers


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## deepbluesun (Jun 2, 2011)

Well, I wouldn't say I'm only out for sex... in fact I would prefer a relationship, but I posted the thread more as a curiosity (though there is some level of frustration from women not being entirely clear about what they want). Looking in to psyche of the opposite gender plain interests me in general, seeing how they possess a viewpoint that I can't possibly ever experience. Reading the responses to this thread has been very enjoyable, allowing me to understanding in a previously vague area.

And thanks for the link. I've looked into PUA stuff before, but it seems like one of those things one should selectively cherrypick knowledge from - while there is valuable stuff in there, there's also a good deal of nonsense.


On a sidenote, when reading PUA material I always feel a little uncomfortable because I get the impression that it's something despised by a lot of women. Any opinions on that?


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## ariana20 (Apr 18, 2010)

iindigo said:


> Well, I wouldn't say I'm only out for sex... in fact I would prefer a relationship, but I posted the thread more as a curiosity (though there is some level of frustration from women not being entirely clear about what they want). Looking in to psyche of the opposite gender plain interests me in general, seeing how they possess a viewpoint that I can't possibly ever experience. Reading the responses to this thread has been very enjoyable, allowing me to understanding in a previously vague area. And thanks for the link. I've looked into PUA stuff before, but it seems like one of those things one should selectively cherrypick knowledge from - while there is valuable stuff in there, there's also a good deal of nonsense. On a sidenote, when reading PUA material I always feel a little uncomfortable because I get the impression that it's something despised by a lot of women. Any opinions on that?


aha, women being entirely clear about what we want, well would that make it a bit easy and boring?? dont you prefer a little mystery?
the pua stuff, i found that site ages ago and i did find it a really fascinating insight into the way men thought about things, women, relationships, and each other. i totally agree about the cherry picking but i do think it has some truth in there too, including the stuff about nlp, so i dont despise it, (cant speak for every other woman), and what i found from reading that site is that the vast majority of the guys on it actually just want a real actual girlfriend/relationship, they just havent a clue how to go about talking to/relating to women and women just confuse/scare them so much its untrue. pua just seems to be a way of talking about women/sex/relationships in a way that men can relate to
having said that, i dont think being a full time forever dyed in the wool pua is something men should probably aspire to being for the rest of their natural, its probably best viewed as a stepping stone to being a more confident male in social situations with women.


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## Elsewhere1 (Mar 22, 2011)

Ha, can't speak for "all" women but YES I desire/love sex!!!! It is AWESOME;P


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## Cubie (May 3, 2011)

Women are people to, we get that sexual feeling and want sex as well, We desire it once in a while. I don't understand why people think men are the only ones.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

Cubie said:


> Women are people to, we get that sexual feeling and want sex as well, We desire it once in a while. I don't understand why people think men are the only ones.


Societal expectations and gender roles - women are, according to society, not meant to enjoy or seek out sex, and a societal double standard then arrives where if a woman goes too far in the other direction and instead of enjoying or seeking out sex she avoids sex, then to society she is just as bad because society doesn't like giving women anything other than a "no win" situation.


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## Cubie (May 3, 2011)

skycloud86 said:


> Societal expectations and gender roles - women are, according to society, not meant to enjoy or seek out sex, and a societal double standard then arrives where if a woman goes too far in the other direction and instead of enjoying or seeking out sex she avoids sex, then to society she is just as bad because society doesn't like giving women anything other than a "no win" situation.


It's like if women say they love sex there called a bad name, But if guys say that they're the boss.


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## AussieChick (Dec 27, 2010)

To add to my earlier post,i desire / enjoy sex when i am being respected and treated decently in a relationship.I have had a couple of one night stands where attraction/chemistry played a big part in desiring sex with these men.However ultimately it was the way they treated me that led to me desiring and them getting sex.My new partner always treats me with respect and tells me how much he loves and desires me,which only heightens my desire/attraction for him.My ex husband however was always criticising and disrespecting me,and treated me more like a sex object rather than a lover which made me think of sex as a chore and something i was obligated to do,instead of feeling like i wanted it.


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## Berdudget (Mar 24, 2011)

snail said:


> I desire meaningful sex. I don't come onto guys unless I want to keep them for life, but when I am in a relationship with someone, I am willing to do all kinds of wild, experimental things. I need sex to be an expression of our preexisting psychological intimacy. Without a heart-level spiritual connection it is pretty much pointless. That's why you don't see me hitting on strangers. At any given time, there is usually only one person I want, and I will desire him with all of my intensity in a blissfully sacrificial manner.


This! This! And if the mental/emotional symbiosis doesn't exist and the act is purely physical, I can make myself do it for the sake of the feelings of the other person, but it's almost impossible to enjoy.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

Berdudget said:


> This! This! And if the mental/emotional symbiosis doesn't exist and the act is purely physical, I can make myself do it for the sake of the feelings of the other person, but it's almost impossible to enjoy.


I would hate it if someone made themselves have sex just for my feelings (which would be rare anyway as I don't have much of a need or want for sex), so I would hope any future partner would never feel they had to have sex with me for my benefit only.


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## Berdudget (Mar 24, 2011)

skycloud86 said:


> I would hate it if someone made themselves have sex just for my feelings (which would be rare anyway as I don't have much of a need or want for sex), so I would hope any future partner would never feel they had to have sex with me for my benefit only.


I appreciate this comment. I started to get into the details surrounding my comment, but decided it's unnecessary. Your comment is validating.


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## NekoNinja (Apr 18, 2010)

My summary of this thread -



Promethea said:


> Mating is only something that we do so we can kill and eat the male afterward.





Kr3m1in said:


> I am a priori the winner of the semantics war.
> 
> And bacon is power.





Torai said:


> I also don't find random men groping me pleasant.





hmwith said:


> Mmmmm, sex.





Kr3m1in said:


> I just broodingly drag on a cigarette. Bitches come running.





Therapist said:


> You're doing it wrong. Clearly.


Bottom line -

Bacon is power!




...Oh, and yes women desire sex...


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## red_1038 (Apr 13, 2011)

speaking for myself only here, i'd like to say that i am techinically a virgin by definition. However, I am not ignorant.
I seek out sexual experiences. I have a loving, exploratory ENFP as my partner and, of course, sweat and grunting insues.

My point: i love it (what i get).


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## Fleetfoot (May 9, 2011)

I saw the title, and was going to respond. 'OMG LULZ NO!' 

But, as you are not a troll, I'll just say that a healthy woman can desire as much sex as a healthy man. Depends on the woman, depends on the man, depends on the situation, etc. She's not going to desire sex if it smells like Long John Silver's down there, but then again, there's probably exceptions to that. :/


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## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

vivacissimamente said:


> I think I probably desire sex _more_ than a lot of males... :mellow:


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

vivacissimamente said:


> I think I probably desire sex _more_ than a lot of males... :mellow:












Some sort of spin-off of Mister Jordan's post.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

iindigo said:


> Mmm, yeah, that would sum it up fairly well. Have had female friends, but it never went farther than friends.


It never has for me.

I am quite certain though that women are quite randy. It's just that girls never seem to like me in real life. At least the petite ones seem to find me downright creepy for some reason. For everyone else, I just am stuck at the eternal friend level.


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## red_1038 (Apr 13, 2011)

damn. everyone hates the friendzone, but creeperzone is worse. deepest regrets.


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## Elsewhere1 (Mar 22, 2011)

As a matter of fact, I am dying to have some sex right freakin now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

red_1038 said:


> damn. everyone hates the friendzone, but creeperzone is worse. deepest regrets.


Each of them have their ups and downs:

Creeper zone pros:
You probably don't know you're in the creeper zone when you're actually in it.
The girl hates you already, so you can do whatever you want with no consequences! (Except for illegal things.)

Creeper zone cons:
The woman hates your guts, and when she finally explicitly says it to you, it's really painful.
Your reputation as a creeper is probably not exclusively known to only that woman.


Friend zone pros:
The woman at least likes you as a friend.
Your reputation is at least okay if you're friends with the woman.

Friend zone cons:
You have to see her every day, considering she's your friend and you have to listen to her casually talk about her boyfriend.
When you're in the friend zone, you usually don't have hope that you're going to get together. With the creeper zone, you do, even if it's completely false hope.


I would say creeper zone is worse overall, though.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

^ Definitely. Being a creep is a reputation that seems to broadcast itself to every woman within the same state by means of pheromones. Being the friend is damaging, but less so if you go after people outside that person's circle.


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## FXGZ (May 19, 2011)

Don't need it everyday, but when I am horny, I need it 5-10 times in a row lol. 

I get horny about once a week when busy, and daily when bored with nothing to do. 

I don't enjoy sex with every sex partners that I have had, I only like some of them, such as my on/off boyfriend. Which is why I can't never dump him for too long lol. A guy that makes amazing love to a woman is pretty lethal..and if he is also wealthy.


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## ukinfj (Apr 15, 2011)

iindigo said:


> Please forgive me if the question somehow seems naive or juvenile.
> 
> While I realize that this is the kind of thing that would vary from person to person, it something I sometimes wonder. As a 22 year old male, I have never had a female come on to me, act suggestively, or otherwise reveal that side of herself to me. After a while, it becomes difficult to imagine a woman being sexually interested in a man and acting accordingly.
> 
> ...


Some women do not come on to men of their own accord because women are told not to. It may sound old fashioned, but it's not even necessarily because they will be deemed sluts for "asking for it". I have come on to men and regretted it later,not because of any sluttish aspect (which I don't believe in) but because it's been drummed into me that the man should chase the woman and if a man doesn't chase you he isn't interested. I also intitiate sex within relaitonships but again, don't like to. The reason is simply that I want to see myself as an object of desire. I want to believe that the man I'm with basically just can't wait to have sex with me, so I don't want to have to ask.

It's a cultural thing. A lot of women want to be chased, they want to be asked for sex, they want to feel like they are desirable. If women feel like they need to ask for sex or encourage it, without just naturally being so sexy that men can't keep their hands off them, it could make them feel a bit bad about themselves. It depends on the woman, many people would find it empowering to come on to men or initiate sex. I do both and don't feel too uncomfortable about it, but I always come away thinking do they even really like me? If I have to ask for sex, does that mean that I'm not sexy enough for them just to want to do it? If I have to make myself known to a man, does that mean that I'm not desirable enough that he hasn't already noticed me?

As for sex drive and thinking about it. It varies. But I'd say women aren't too different to men. I tend to think about sex a significant proportion of my time and women tend to discuss sex with each other more than men do and share fantasies, stories of their escapades - men are surprised that women discuss the way a man looks naked (including a penis commentary) sometimes as men don't do quite the same thing. But women rate men on how good they are in bed. Men might judge their own abilities by how many women they get with. Women judge men's abilities by how much physical pleasure they are able to provide a woman and how much they understand the female body.


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## Michael82 (Dec 13, 2010)

Promethea said:


> Mating is only something that we do so we can kill and eat the male afterward.


I think that the series "Married With Children" is the living proof of your statement.


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## shadowofambivalence (May 11, 2011)

I sometimes have a lot of sexual frustration


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## The Proof (Aug 5, 2009)

android654 said:


> You don't know much about women, do you?


obvious and unhelpful

on topic: yes they do, they want sex just as much as men do; of course it's possible to find different types of sex drives according to a person's psychological traits, experiences and timing

so don't worry, sex is no hardship for a woman


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## Eerie (Feb 9, 2011)

............ whoa got confused with all the quotes I have going on. lololol.


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## lyricalnuisance (May 6, 2011)

Yes. Just......yes.


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## lyricalnuisance (May 6, 2011)

The difference might lie in that we aren't ALWAYS in the mood and not just ANYTHING gets us in the mood. And if we aren't, ain't much gonna change that. 

I get strangely horny during "that time of the month"... and to be frank, if I was a guy I wouldnt want to be having sex with that going on..... but the two people I've had sex with were somewhat okay with it.


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## synapse (May 3, 2011)

I guess the biggest difference is that women can always get it.. so they get picky... guys always want it but can't always get it. then they're just out for some butt and not picky.

And once you're married.. ya gotta do all this sweet stuff to keep the spark in the romance going. Otherwise its just reasons like: too tired, kids were too stressful, whatever wasn't finished.. unhappiness.. taken out on me. cuz its all my fault she's not happy. can't make herself happy or just be happy. then bringing some bouncer home from the bar and in my bed!! *grrrr bad memories, ex-wife now*

So as a 28 yr old guy, I tend to pick up women my age and up to 10 yrs older. I won't go below 25 anymore.. too much lil kid drama crap and not knowing how to actually have some good sex.

There is a movie called The Tao of Steve.
Quotes..

"Men and women both want to have sex," says Dex, "but women want to have sex 15 minutes after us, so if you hold out for 20, she'll be chasing you for five." 

*1.* Eliminate your desires. 
*2.* Do something excellent in her presence, thereby proving your sexual worthiness. 
*3.* Retreat, for as Heidegger said, "We pursue that which retreats from us".


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## dottywine (Feb 7, 2011)

Dumb question.


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## LauraK (Jun 29, 2011)

I was told by an ex that I wanted sex too often and he felt like a piece of meat...go figure. 

So yeah women want it too. I agree with others that have said that age can be a factor.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

LauraK said:


> I was told by an ex that I wanted sex too often and he felt like a piece of meat...go figure.


Just shows that men aren't always the ones with the high sex drives. Some men just don't have a great need for sex.


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## Sonne (Oct 29, 2010)

Can't speak for all women, since each is different in their wants and needs. But I think some, NOT all, are looking for or are more interested in the sexual intimacy, but not necessarily the sexual act. I think the experience is more important than the physical. But it depends on the person. I do think that the men tend to value the physical more than women, generally speaking.


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## Kelly617 (May 25, 2011)

I believe women do desire sex as much as men, but I think it tends to mean more to women than men. Obviously there are exceptions, but for the most part, I don't want to sleep with anyone and everyone just to fulfill my sexual urges. Sex is a very, very intimate activity, and I can't see myself ever being casual about it. So, I do have sex less than my male friends, because I need to be in a relationship, or at least have some feelings toward the other person beyond "oh, they're hot". XD

That might have something to do with why it seems women have less of a sex drive than men.


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## DarklyValentine (Mar 4, 2010)

People say unto me
oi get your hand out of my cookie jar

I digress
Women are complete paradoxes

Some women desire sex more than men,
You see, men are but simple creatures,
they like the idea of sex,
often with anything with a pulse knockers or generally _fit_ gets most man folks libidos racing - _well it is a sprint finish is it not_.

Alas, it might oft been said their een (which means eyes where i come from) are bigger than their belly.
And yet we are a persistent race, 
Cuddle-able too *coughs

Now sex and love are entirely different


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## BroNerd (Nov 27, 2010)

From my personal experience, I have found that women take sex way more seriously than men do. 
I don't think I need to go over one reason as to why this is the case!


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## ficsci (May 4, 2011)

Pfft of course we do 8D~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I said this to my friend one time. You know how they say guys think about sex every 6 seconds? Well girls think about sex ALL THE TIME (well, based on personal experience anyway). In mathematical analogy, it's like discrete vs. continuous. Of course the level of horniness varies, but I never stop thinking about it.

I'm just shy at expressing it in a direct manner towards guys I'm interested in (._.)

Or maybe, I really want to express it directly, but because the guy himself never had the guts to express his interest to any girl in his life, and both his exes approached him first, I don't express it because it's not fair!!! D:< It's not like any guy has ever had the guts to say it to me directly either! (Well, excluding online creeps who chase Asian girls just because they're shorter and smaller than them).


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## cottoncamby (Aug 14, 2012)

Of course! But it is frowned upon for women to be too forward with men who are strangers. I once spent several nights in a row with a man who only wanted to cuddle. Not even kidding... Finally I said "Look, are we gonna f*** or what?" My EXACT words. He said he didn't want me to become attached to him. And he was trying to prevent this by cuddling? My point is just that there are women, and men too apparently:dry:, who are the exception to the rules/roles. At the end of the day people are just people. All different and surprising. :tongue:


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## Shinji Mimura (Aug 1, 2012)

Does a bear shit in the woods?


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## WeetBixKid (Mar 6, 2011)

Think of it in Pavlovian terms. If a woman gets a pay off from sex (orgasm, thrill) she'll be conditioned to seek it out more. If there's no pay off (awkwardness, boredom, pain, shame) she'll avoid it. Oversimplified but that's the gist.


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## Noirell (Jul 30, 2012)

As a women in her late 30's my sex drive is amped up considerably. There are two different kinds of sex for me. I am only wired to have sex with someone I am in love with. Just how I am. Every woman is different. You wont know her desires until you explore them. 

A) All I want to do is please my man and to be warm and naked and the orgasm would be nice but not required.
B) I am horny with such a fierceness that it can only be described as a feline animalistic heat. In that case the bed may need to be bolted to the floor and all he needs to do is hold on and nevermind the broken furniture and feathers flying.


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## Kyandigaru (Mar 11, 2012)

@Noirell
I'm so...totally 'B'. lol

Is it wrong to want to fuck 4x a day OR at least 8x a week? I have a young, thriving vagina and when i'm dating all that sexual tenion comes out because I dont have casual sex. So when I'm single and not dating, its all held in. Masturbate don't overseed real dick..LMAO I was once told, "you're going to fuck all the cum right out of me!" Well, dude, you should have been here three months ago!


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

android654 said:


> Just a tip, you should never try to sleep with friends, and never "try" to be friends with women you're interested in. Well, unless you're trying for a relationship then its a little more convoluted.


Relationships often start as friendships, so I disagree with this.


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## Noirell (Jul 30, 2012)

Kyandigaru said:


> @_Noirell_
> I'm so...totally 'B'. lol
> 
> Is it wrong to want to fuck 4x a day OR at least 8x a week? I have a young, thriving vagina and when i'm dating all that sexual tenion comes out because I dont have casual sex. So when I'm single and not dating, its all held in. Masturbate don't overseed real dick..LMAO I was once told, "you're going to fuck all the cum right out of me!" Well, dude, you should have been here three months ago!


LOL!! Your awsome


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## Sollertis (Aug 2, 2012)

Of course not, it's pretty common knowledge that women only have sex for reproduction purposes, it probably has something to do with the fact that they can't experience orgasms.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

ProfessorLiver said:


> So convoluted


I love that movie.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

Sollertis said:


> Of course not, it's pretty common knowledge that women only have sex for reproduction purposes, it probably has something to do with the fact that they can't experience orgasms.


WTF? I learned how to give myself an orgasm when I was 13. I was able to have an orgasm with a partner by 20. I am now in my 30's and have multiple orgasms.

Sorry if this is TMI, but seriously, a lot of women can't experience orgasms because they've been taught to hate their bodies or that wanting to get off is somehow selfish or that sex is wrong somehow, and that is ALL societal conditioning.

Maybe you're being sarcastic, but I suppose this answers the OPs question. Yes, I like sex.


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

fourtines said:


> Relationships often start as friendships, so I disagree with this.


Not only did you quote something that's over a year old, which is absurd on it's own, you didn't even read it. I pointed out that relationships are more convoluted than simply seeking sex. I said you shouldn't feign friendships when simply seeking sex. Sex, which is what the thread is about, not dating.


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## Sollertis (Aug 2, 2012)

fourtines said:


> WTF? I learned how to give myself an orgasm when I was 13. I was able to have an orgasm with a partner by 20. I am now in my 30's and have multiple orgasms.
> 
> Sorry if this is TMI, but seriously, a lot of women can't experience orgasms because they've been taught to hate their bodies or that wanting to get off is somehow selfish or that sex is wrong somehow, and that is ALL societal conditioning.
> 
> Maybe you're being sarcastic, but I suppose this answers the OPs question. Yes, I like sex.


Until the last sentence I was going to answer with "Hey look, what's that flying over your head?"


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## Master Mind (Aug 15, 2011)

I'm not a woman, so, of course, I can't speak for women, but it seems to me an odd question to ask if women actually desire sex. It seems to me to harken back to the times where the very supposition that women felt sexual desire was—and I quote—"a vile aspersion," and when the medical experts and medical journals of the day said that sexual desire in women was considerably lesser than in men or absent altogether. And with the Madonna/Whore dichotomy, "good girls" weren't supposed to be interested in sex, and so women couldn't admit when they desired it. As Muehlenhard and McCoy (1991) wrote:



> The sexual double standard seems to be an important aspect of the context in which scripted refusal occurs. According to the sexual double standard, men are allowed more sexual freedom than women. ... Even the English language still reflects the double standard. Consider the different connotations of the words used to describe sexually active women (“sluts”) and men (“studs”).
> 
> ... A woman who wants to have sexual intercourse with a man but believes that he accepts the double standard faces a double bind. She can either openly acknowledge her desire for sex and face negative sanctions (e.g., being labeled “easy”), or else she can refuse and be labeled “respectable.” Such a refusal is understandable in this context. Consistent with this explanation, Muehlenhard and Hollabaugh (1988) found that the reasons for scripted refusals that women cited most frequently were practical reasons, such as not wanting to appear promiscuous.





> The sexual double standard puts women in a double bind. A woman who wants to have sexual intercourse with a new partner has a difficult choice. She can acknowledge her desire and risk being labeled “loose,” “easy,” or worse, or she can refrain from acknowledging it, thus engaging in scripted refusal. The present study found that women who had offered scripted refusals were more likely to believe that their partners accepted the sexual double standard than women who had openly acknowledged their desire for sexual intercourse. ... The women’s own acceptance of the double standard at the time of the incident was unrelated to their behavior. This suggests that the women were responding to the expectancies and values conveyed by their partners.





> What might a woman do if she is unsure about the values of her partner or peers? When a situation is ambiguous or the consequences of one’s behavior are not clearly understood, one might rely on prior experience in similar situations to decide how to behave (Deaux, 1976). Men accept the sexual double standard more than do women, and women believe that men accept the double standard even more than men actually do (Muehlenhard & Quackenbush, 1991). Thus, unless a woman is certain that her partner and peers hold egalitarian attitudes, she might reasonably assume that the safest course of action is to avoid acknowledging her desire for sex.


There are women who desire sex on occasion (some more frequently than others) and those who do not. Depends on the individual.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

android654 said:


> Not only did you quote something that's over a year old, which is absurd on it's own, you didn't even read it. I pointed out that relationships are more convoluted than simply seeking sex. I said you shouldn't feign friendships when simply seeking sex. Sex, which is what the thread is about, not dating.


All I said is that I disagree. Are you ever NOT unpleasant?


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

fourtines said:


> All I said is that I disagree. Are you ever NOT unpleasant?


Only when someone tries to have a conversation a year after the fact, while the exact same thing is being discussed on several different places, only to repeat the same thing once again. We get it you love being in love and it's the only way you can fuck. Why quote me to repeat what you probably said to me in another thread?


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

android654 said:


> Only when someone tries to have a conversation a year after the fact, while the exact same thing is being discussed on several different places, only to repeat the same thing once again. We get it you love being in love and it's the only way you can fuck. Why quote me to repeat what you probably said to me in another thread?


lol ok


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## koalaroo (Nov 25, 2011)

Nope. Women don't like sex. We prefer to save ourselves to join the nunnery, but only if the convent has lots of cats.


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## Cetanu (Jan 20, 2012)

iindigo said:


> Please forgive me if the question somehow seems naive or juvenile.
> 
> While I realize that this is the kind of thing that would vary from person to person, it something I sometimes wonder. As a 22 year old male, I have never had a female come on to me, act suggestively, or otherwise reveal that side of herself to me. After a while, it becomes difficult to imagine a woman being sexually interested in a man and acting accordingly.
> 
> ...


Stop masturbating. Forever.

Thank me in about 3 months.


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## Kyandigaru (Mar 11, 2012)

koalaroo said:


> Nope. Women don't like sex. We prefer to save ourselves to join the nunnery, but only if the convent has lots of cats.


I'm allergic to cats...give me bunnies please!


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## koalaroo (Nov 25, 2011)

Kyandigaru said:


> I'm allergic to cats...give me bunnies please!


OK. You can go to the bunnery. I'll go to the catvent.


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## Aqualung (Nov 21, 2009)

Coming from an older era I was taught that woman are disgusted by sex, it's filthy & my sex drive was proof that I was an evil barnyard animal. I actually believed that into my early 20's. Then rumour had it that some women have orgasms. What?! Really?! I later found out it was true. Mindblowing discovery! Not sure why this stuff was so "top secret" when I was young. Probably because I grew up in a backwards little hick village that made Mayberry look like Amsterdam back in the day.


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## WindowLicker (Aug 3, 2010)

cottoncamby said:


> Of course! But it is frowned upon for women to be too forward with men who are strangers. I once spent several nights in a row with a man who only wanted to cuddle. Not even kidding... Finally I said "Look, are we gonna f*** or what?" My EXACT words. He said he didn't want me to become attached to him. And he was trying to prevent this by cuddling? My point is just that there are women, and men too apparently:dry:, who are the exception to the rules/roles. At the end of the day people are just people. All different and surprising. :tongue:


Was this guy an eNTJ enneagram 5 perhaps?


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## FacePalm (Jun 27, 2012)




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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

MegaTuxRacer said:


> What a preposterous question! Of course not!


I know right?! I already told them! We like 50 shades of grey


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## cottoncamby (Aug 14, 2012)

WindowLicker said:


> Was this guy an eNTJ enneagram 5 perhaps?


Ahahahaha! Not sure, but my exhusband is exactly that! Maybe I need a new approach. Shake things up a bit...:wink:

You made me laugh sooooo hard! Thanks


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## MegaTuxRacer (Sep 7, 2011)

Ningsta Kitty said:


> I know right?! I already told them! We like 50 shades of grey


50 shades of the female soul... :sad:


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## DeductiveReasoner (Feb 25, 2011)

Studies suggest that women have as strong of a sex drive as men do. Society just condemns overtly sexual women.

Discussed this in sociology today, actually, haha. I have a professor to back me up.


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## deepbluesun (Jun 2, 2011)

OP here again (I do still visit from time to time).

In retrospect, yeah, this is a pretty ridiculous thread. You've gotta try to understand it from my angle, though; after while, you really begin to wonder exactly what's going on.

Thanks to all that have posted so far, it's been great insight. Now I just need to get some personal experience on this matter…


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## Master Mind (Aug 15, 2011)

Whether or not any one individual person is able to "get sex" though has absolutely nothing to do with whether the opposite sex *in general* desires sex. I don't even see how the two would be related. Bringing it solely to myself, if I said, "no woman is willing to have sex with me, therefore women can't actually want sex," would this be a logical statement for me to make?


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## deepbluesun (Jun 2, 2011)

Master Mind said:


> Whether or not any one individual person is able to "get sex" though has absolutely nothing to do with whether the opposite sex *in general* desires sex. I don't even see how the two would be related. Bringing it solely to myself, if I said, "no woman is willing to have sex with me, therefore women can't actually want sex," would this be a logical statement for me to make?


No, you're quite right, it's not logical. It's not quite the same, though. Although I might not doubt the existence of some jungle creature, it's not real in my mind the same way it would have been if I had actually seen it myself.

Basically I have no point of reference for this and it screws with my perception of things.


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## SlowPoke68 (Apr 26, 2010)

DeductiveReasoner said:


> Studies suggest that women have as strong of a sex drive as men do. Society just condemns overtly sexual women.
> 
> Discussed this in sociology today, actually, haha. I have a professor to back me up.


The professor is wrong. Women's sex drive is stronger and longer and more sustained. It's the male with the weak, sporadic sex drive, seen over the course of a lifetime. Male peak responsiveness period is about 5 years. Female, more like 20 years. 

I've also found them to be just as obsessed and generally perverted as men. We're two sides of a coin.


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## Shinji Mimura (Aug 1, 2012)

SlowPoke68 said:


> I've also found them to be just as obsessed and generally perverted as men. We're two sides of a coin.


I'm envious of you. While I find more girls who enjoy casual sex than I've found guys, there's no denying that the types of "fantasies" guys have just really outshine the girl's fantasies, and always for the wrong reasons. No doubt, having a sexual appendage that juts out so strongly leads to a lot of just...bizarre thinking.


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## SlowPoke68 (Apr 26, 2010)

Shinji Mimura said:


> I'm envious of you. While I find more girls who enjoy casual sex than I've found guys, there's no denying that the types of "fantasies" guys have just really outshine the girl's fantasies, and always for the wrong reasons. No doubt, having a sexual appendage that juts out so strongly leads to a lot of just...bizarre thinking.


Wait until you start dating the ones in their 30's-40's-50's. They oftentimes make me blush.


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

Shinji Mimura said:


> I'm envious of you. While I find more girls who enjoy casual sex than I've found guys, there's no denying that the types of "fantasies" guys have just really outshine the girl's fantasies, and always for the wrong reasons. No doubt, having a sexual appendage that juts out so strongly leads to a lot of just...bizarre thinking.


It could be a difference dependent upon age groups, but I'm going to have to disagree. Most guys I know have sex fantasies that are either recreations of porn they've seen or trying something that they half-heard in passing. There's a lot less mentioning of being adventurous when it comes to sex with guys. They usually find what they like and stick with it, at least that's been my experience. 

Women... I have a big pet peeve with women who lie about sexual tastes to sound like they're kinky or a "freak" when in reality all they want is to cuddle. I've encountered too many to count, but it's a popular thing to say, "Oh, I like it rough, against the wall with your hand over my mouth so no one can hear me scream," and then reveal themselves to being the biggest snuggle bunnies on the planet. Huge fucking pet peeve of mine.


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## FlaviaGemina (May 3, 2012)

ER? LOL What? I only read the title, didn't even read the OP.
But no.... of course women don't desire sex. They are ladies. Ladies don't really have parts, so they can't desire sex.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

Wow, this thread is STILL going on? Why don't we just sticky this already and be done with it?


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## Le Beau Coeur (Jan 30, 2011)

I didn't realize this was such an old thread. It's been well answered so I'll just delete my previous post.


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## Shinji Mimura (Aug 1, 2012)

android654 said:


> It could be a difference dependent upon age groups, but I'm going to have to disagree. Most guys I know have sex fantasies that are either recreations of porn they've seen or trying something that they half-heard in passing. There's a lot less mentioning of being adventurous when it comes to sex with guys. They usually find what they like and stick with it, at least that's been my experience.
> 
> Women... I have a big pet peeve with women who lie about sexual tastes to sound like they're kinky or a "freak" when in reality all they want is to cuddle. I've encountered too many to count, but it's a popular thing to say, "Oh, I like it rough, against the wall with your hand over my mouth so no one can hear me scream," and then reveal themselves to being the biggest snuggle bunnies on the planet. Huge fucking pet peeve of mine.


I agree on the pet peeve thing, and that's yet another reason I've found men to be more of the fantasizing type; they really, seriously mean that shit, and aren't trying to "appear kinky" just to be on equal footing to their male counterparts (or their female competitors).

I fully understand that women can have really sick or adventurous fantasies, for sure, but with men I've always found their fantasies to be:
1. Probably illegal
2. Potentially gruesome
3. So extremely blunt

A girl with a gang rape in the back of an alley fantasy is child's play. I have, unfortunately, met far too many guys with children fetishes, more guys who are into abusive sex (pretty much just punching the crap out of her during sex), and, of course, ye olde "I see it I want to fuck it" sort of thing.

Now, duh, lots of us see physically attractive people and our mind, in some form or another, thinks, "I'd love to fuck that person."

With women, I've noticed, it's very much "yes, I'd like to fuck him. Rough, passionate, crazy, make me orgasm over and over again", whereas with men they tend to take it to extremes. I mean, obviously you just have actual rapists >_>, but then you have the fantasies, and whatever deep, dark interests they have tend to transition right on over to a girl they just laid eyes upon seconds ago.

This gets even worse when such a male is forced to interact with said female. On the outside, things may appear normal, but on the inside, there is just a storm brewin...

Basically, we're all speaking in generalizations here, and clearly we've all met our share of freaky (and phony freaks) males and females.

But, yeah, in regards to my last bit specifically referencing to the penis, I can't tell you how many times I've heard things like "stick it in between her thigh and her calve, wrap her hair around it, between her feet." 

...k so back on topic yeah I think it's safe to say women desire sex.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

if a woman does not desire sex than she is either
- asexual
- lying to herself
or
- hasn't experienced good sex


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## Spades (Aug 31, 2011)

I like to lay there and train my vocal chords while the man gets his sexual gratification. Best hobby.


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

Shinji Mimura said:


> I agree on the pet peeve thing, and that's yet another reason I've found men to be more of the fantasizing type; they really, seriously mean that shit, and aren't trying to "appear kinky" just to be on equal footing to their male counterparts (or their female competitors).
> 
> I fully understand that women can have really sick or adventurous fantasies, for sure, but with men I've always found their fantasies to be:
> 1. Probably illegal
> ...


Yeah... I've had my fair share of ridiculous to jaw droppingly shocking sexual thoughts from other guys. Fantasies about potentially violent things (rape, gang rape etc) is pretty much on both sides and have heard it from gay and straight men and women. I'm not sure what it is, but it's all over the place with that kind of fantasy. However, get a guy comfortable enough around you, and you might hears something that you know was not meant to be shared.

I bring up this disingenuous act because it's kind of rampant. About 2 years ago, maybe a bit more. it was every girl you'd meet was *soooooooooo* into girls. They would make a point to highlight it for everyone around to hear. It's kind of being repeated with kinky and/or rough sex now. Now, I myself would welcome both, but putting it on display before it matters just makes you look like a liar, and my track record pretty much proves that to be the case. But, it does prove that women like sex enough to lie about what they like if there's a promise of some sex down the road at some point.


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

Shinji Mimura said:


> Here's my problem with that: women fit me best. But that wasn't a choice. I didn't look at my life and say, "I am better with women."
> 
> I am heterosexual. I am not attracted to males. I can't just up and "try" males, or just "be" bisexual. If I was born bisexual, that'd be one thing. Every actual bisexual I've known has made it very clear: they are attracted to both genders. They could date both genders. They could sleep with both genders. They could be happy with both genders.
> 
> ...


You kind of elaborate on my point and agree with me at the same time while critiquing it.

Of course you didn't stop and think, "hmm do I like women," you did however think about what body types, skin color, attitudes, etc. that attracted you. That's what you should be thinking about when you're musing about what you do and don't like sexually. 

Now, if you do start thinking "what would sex be like with a man," then you might be bi-curious, but that shouldn't be the product of coercion from people around you or the byproduct of trying to seduce someone like "fake-freaks" and girls who happen to be bisexual every time they meet a new guy.

That's all I was saying.


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

AphroditeGoneAwry said:


> A prostitute might be gay, but only have sex with men. Would she then be most appropraiately labeled lesbian or bisexual or hetero?


She could just be doing her job. I know a stripper who's gay and has to dance for men. She's not thrilled about it, but it's work, so she does it. However there are women she works with who do get a kick out of the job and the attention they get from guys.


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## AphroditeGoneAwry (Jan 10, 2012)

Yeah. 

I was just trying to say that defining and describing one's (or another's) sexuality is not unlike trying to define Truth itself. There are so many planes of reality and unreality that it is nigh on impossible.


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## Shinji Mimura (Aug 1, 2012)

Yeah, gay-for-pay doesn't make you gay. Same holds true for straight-for-pay. Albeit, to be perfectly frank, I'd say you must really be desperate for cash if you have to resort to engaging in acts that go against your orientation :/

saddest part is sad acts pay so fucking well. A guy I once knew got $3000 in his first gay-for-pay. Not gonna lie, 3 grand is totally something I'd like right nao.


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

Shinji Mimura said:


> Yeah, gay-for-pay doesn't make you gay. Same holds true for straight-for-pay. Albeit, to be perfectly frank, I'd say you must really be desperate for cash if you have to resort to engaging in acts that go against your orientation :/
> 
> saddest part is sad acts pay so fucking well. A guy I once knew got $3000 in his first gay-for-pay. Not gonna lie, 3 grand is totally something I'd like right nao.


Didn't you say you used to dance? If you did, then you know what it's like. You're kind of broke, and here's a quick legal way to make cash fast with no taxes... Kind of hard to say no to a grand a night (good nights) even if you don't wanna fuck the people you're entertaining. Besides, from what I hear everyone is on something when they're working to help them get through the night, so that must help you acclimatize to the work no matter what your tastes.


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## Shinji Mimura (Aug 1, 2012)

android654 said:


> Didn't you say you used to dance? If you did, then you know what it's like. You're kind of broke, and here's a quick legal way to make cash fast with no taxes... Kind of hard to say no to a grand a night (good nights) even if you don't wanna fuck the people you're entertaining. Besides, from what I hear everyone is on something when they're working to help them get through the night, so that must help you acclimatize to the work no matter what your tastes.


Couple of things to say:

1. I danced at a ladies' club, as in no men were allowed past the bar area. As a straight man, I danced exclusively for women. I didn't have any male patrons to upset my orientation.
2. I didn't do it for the money, really. My mom used to always threaten to kick me out if I wasn't employed, so I needed a job and it was there. I like dancing, I like girls, and I don't mind wearing a banana hammock for over 8 hours straight. Money was nice, but then again, it's a male strip clubs; girls are stingy as FUCK. Guys? Just show us your tits, easiest $20 you ever made. Even shit-drunk girls will cling to their dollars :/. Don't even get me started on when I started there as a waiter...-_-
3. Hmm...well, I was 18 and had never done anything illegal, and even if I had, I loved my job as a male stripper. It's fun, and I don't think my A-game would be on if I was doped up on something.


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

Shinji Mimura said:


> Couple of things to say:
> 
> 1. I danced at a ladies' club, as in no men were allowed past the bar area. As a straight man, I danced exclusively for women. I didn't have any male patrons to upset my orientation.
> 2. I didn't do it for the money, really. My mom used to always threaten to kick me out if I wasn't employed, so I needed a job and it was there. I like dancing, I like girls, and I don't mind wearing a banana hammock for over 8 hours straight. Money was nice, but then again, it's a male strip clubs; girls are stingy as FUCK. Guys? Just show us your tits, easiest $20 you ever made. Even shit-drunk girls will cling to their dollars :/. Don't even get me started on when I started there as a waiter...-_-
> 3. Hmm...well, I was 18 and had never done anything illegal, and even if I had, I loved my job as a male stripper. It's fun, and I don't think my A-game would be on if I was doped up on something.


Oh wow, I had no idea it was so different from female to male strip clubs. Well I only know one person well who's a dancer adn most of them aren't too happy in the job, but the money's too good to quit so there they are. It's a little harder on her I imagine since there's very little chance she'd find any of the patron's cat calls to be flattering.


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## Shinji Mimura (Aug 1, 2012)

android654 said:


> Oh wow, I had no idea it was so different from female to male strip clubs. Well I only know one person well who's a dancer adn most of them aren't too happy in the job, but the money's too good to quit so there they are. It's a little harder on her I imagine since there's very little chance she'd find any of the patron's cat calls to be flattering.


Yeah, I don't think any male stripper could hate his job, unless he gets no money, of course.

I can definitely see women hating their job, but I'd also say that depends on the quality of the strip club. I got a 19 year-old friend of mine a job at a nice enough strip club. It wasn't on the rich people side of town, but it was certainly managed like it was. Lots of bouncers, more of a laid back atmosphere. Not some grimy, scummy, downtown sleaze pit where men are just shouting things and being pigs. I mean, they probably were like that on the inside, but enough security prevents that from happening without compromising the atmosphere of fun.

Then again, *shrug*, maybe it's because I'm not some hot stud, but even compliments with ill-intent are still compliments.


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## CrabbyPaws (Mar 5, 2012)

Lol I very much desire sex quite regularly. With my boyfriend, I do show it when I am feeling aroused, but I think that's only because I trust him so much. It did take me a long time to be open like that with him, but yes of course, even when I wasn't open about it I felt the same way. And I've definitely had periods where I cannot get it off my mind. 
Women's hormones are very up and down throughout the month as it changes in our menstrual cycle, so in that case it would be easy to understand a woman can just as easily be 'on heat', and other times have dry periods. 

But also a lot of women I know simply prefer the man to initiate, but that doesn't necessarily mean they don't want it as much. Perhaps we don't make it as obvious or direct as guys sometimes, but if we are making an effort to look good for a guy, the way we dress, hygeine, perfume etc, then that is our 'signals' that we are interested. Some girls prefer to be 'approachable' than to directly approach a guy and say "hey I want you." if that makes sense. And of course there are women who prefer to be more direct, which is sexy.

Perhaps you have just met the girls who are more reserved and prefer their partner to initiate, or have not come to the place in the relationship where they are comfortable initiating. That doesn't mean that girls are only horny if a guy initiates though, even though it can seem that way, we desire sex even before that but it's just the way the courting game goes with some people.


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## chip (Oct 12, 2011)

Promethea said:


> Mating is only something that we do so we can kill and eat the male afterward.


 Which one are you? The widow or the mantis? I'm a mantis. I don't like eating the whole body so I eat the head then save the rest for later for my chitlens and me. The greatest thing is that you got 70 likes, lol. Oh, and a bonus is...while I am eating his head, he's still gettin' it on. WIN WIN KNAWMEAN?


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## FacePalm (Jun 27, 2012)

chip said:


> Which one are you? The widow or the mantis? I'm a mantis. I don't like eating the whole body so I eat the head then save the rest for later for my chitlens and me. The greatest thing is that you got 70 likes, lol. Oh, and a bonus is...while I am eating his head, he's still gettin' it on. WIN WIN KNAWMEAN?


Swallow!


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## simplystrange (Aug 29, 2012)

OMG I need it like oxygen. Without it I die. =[

Twas on my mind all day and it made work so difficult. 

Lately though every guy I get close to doesn't feel the need for it. It's like a total role reversal. It's driving me crazy!!!

I think sometimes about how nice it would be to have a good sex life. Like actually get it daily.. multiple times... And with someone else who craves it just as much. Seems so simple, yet I have never had a relationship like that. =/
It would be so nice. 

*sigh*

Dear World,
GIMME WHAT I WANT DAMMIT! XD
It's not too much to ask.


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## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

I think you should look within for the answer to your little issue.


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## INTJellectual (Oct 22, 2011)

Oh YES! If we are turned on by a guy, then why not. I always imagine sex with the person I like or love. But giving hint, or being the one who initially shows interest is a no-no for me. I kind of like a modest girl. But some quiet, modest girls have wild fantasy about sex. It doesn't mean that if a person does not show any motive, he/she doesn't have desire or lust for sex.


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## gurlygurl (Aug 19, 2011)

Maybe it's because I'm a virgin [I'm trying to save myself for my future husband] but with certain men it takes all my energy not to jump their bones 'cause they're just that hot to me.  Some moments I just want to climb into that guys lap and have a go at it... but I resist. =) 

Usually with me it's more of a personality thing that turns me on. Of course, it's important that he's not fat, but other then that... I can be attracted to plump, etc. Just not sumo wrestler fat. =P 

I imagine that once I get into that relationship that I'm going to have a lot of fun with it... but for now I wait. [Although it can be nearly impossible at times].


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## VictoriaB (Apr 29, 2012)

The answer to your question is YES. 

My boyfriend can also agree with that.


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## puppies454 (Nov 14, 2012)

Wow, you're probably hanging around the wrong type of girls then! You need to hang out with frisky girls if you like that so much. Personally I don't desire it. When the time comes, it comes, but for now I'm still learning and growing, and just.. why? I don't NEED it. That's me. I'm so young, anyway. But don't generalize "women", please. Thanks.


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## milti (Feb 8, 2012)

I do like sex very much, yes. And I'm currently living the celibate life (not by my choice ) and it's getting to me quite a bit! :/ Of course, I don't know if I miss the actual sex as much as the closeness and foreplay that comes before it.


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## Mange (Jan 9, 2011)

Lol. This is a serious question?


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## Sonne (Oct 29, 2010)

It's an interesting question because if you look at it this way, how many people like the physical act of sex? I mean if you think about it, most would probably say, it's the sensations they like or the closeness or the energy and the feelings surging through their bodies. It's their body's physical and emotional reactions to sex which people enjoy. So, yes, someone may enjoy sexual feelings, impulses, and responses but it doesn't mean they enjoy the act of sex. Some people are not turned on by sex. They're turned by sexual feelings for their partner and that's what makes the experience enjoyable. So, no, not everyone one, whether men or women, likes sex.


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## Mr. Meepers (May 31, 2012)

NO!!! ... Because Penises are very SLIMY and who would want to mess with something that icky ... and sex for them is such a chore (you can't go in there empty handed ... you need to have a vibrator, a rubber band a fork, a cake mixer attachment and a drill, a car engine, a porcupine, two turtledoves, a tree, lasers, "50 Shades of Grey", a cucumber, a mariachi band, some money, a sandwich, and a pitchfork turned into a cross with inscribed text to drive evil demons away ... and that is just the bare minimum ... it really helps if you have the one ring to rule them all though ... FYI: If she says "my precious", she is not talking to you)

And, who would want to have sex with a woman? They have vaginas ... and I am told that those things have razor sharp teeth :shocked:


My advice, if you are male, stay clear of women and have some "fun" with other men


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## Aryn2 (Jul 25, 2013)

Hell yeah. Haha.


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## PumpkinEater (Jul 5, 2011)

well.... I do :tongue:

it's my own personal opinion that a lot of women (not ALL women, of course) kind of dodge their sexuality by saying sort of hurtful things about sex or men when pertaining to sex. i think almost all (save for asexuals and some other cases) women do desire sex, but we're almost taught not to, so thats why a lot women come off as shy, overtly prude or disgusted by sex. 
i mean, even with my girlfriends at school they all describe their sexual experiences (however few) as being weird and uncomfortable and like "he was way into it but i was like 'whatever'" and never saying "it felt great!". but after a while it turns into "i liked when he did this" or "he really turned me on when he did this"

wait a little while, you're bound to find an comfortably sexual woman  they are out there!


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## MisterD (Feb 24, 2010)

YES, oh my lord... They do man. Must be complicated being a woman! I believe it is quite frustrating for women.

This is just my personal theory I have developed over the years but here I go... It is because they don't want to come off as being too easy/slutty but they do want sex. Also, if they actually do like you... & just give you sex, would you honestly call her back afterwards if she was too easy.. for anything but sex?

Also, a man should lead.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

I certainly do. Of course there are women with low libido, but the real reason whores are stoned to death in Abrahamic religions and some African tribes castrate their women is because men actually seem angry that women desire sex that isn't with them. Without these abusive forms of sexual manipulation its exceedingly difficult to get people to believe the blatant bullshit lie that young women are hot for old men with money.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

MisterD said:


> YES, oh my lord...
> 
> Also, a man should lead.


Thank you for that insecure display of sexism, person who is not a woman.


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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

Mr. Meepers said:


> My advice, if you are male, stay clear of women and have some "fun" with other men


Ew, no. Penises are slimy. You said so yourself.



> you need to have a vibrator, a rubber band a fork, a cake mixer attachment and a drill, a car engine, a porcupine, two turtledoves, a tree, lasers, "50 Shades of Grey", a cucumber, a mariachi band, some money, a sandwich, and a pitchfork turned into a cross with inscribed text to drive evil demons away ... and that is just the bare minimum ... it really helps if you have the one ring to rule them all though ... FYI: If she says "my precious", she is not talking to you


There's probably porn of this.


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## rosegeranium (Apr 1, 2013)

Women desire sex just as much as men do. 

Some women are wrongly labeled as frigid because they feel something is wrong with the guy. They sense that he will not be a longterm mate, but are to anxious to drop him. So there is a disconnect during sex. If a woman senses a guy will break her heart, she won't want sex. Or she'll be tense. Those types of women usually give their everything and it might destroy them emotionally if the guy broke up with them or rejected them in some way. Some women are just afraid the guy will criticize and reject her during sex if she lets loose because some men are just assholes like that and have a problem with females in general.

Yeah, so if a girl doesn't want sex make sure you actually WANT to be with her to begin with. Ask yourself,"Ideally, would I rather be with a bunch of women of my choice right now rather than be with her?" If even a part of you says yes, trust me, she picks up on it!


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## marked174 (Feb 24, 2010)

This comic might be relevant.


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## Manifestation (Jul 4, 2013)

Sure do. It works like.... hmmmm I feel like sex. sex sounds like fun. hmmm... send a few suggestive texts and *hey you wanna come over to my house and dance naked"? 

I've been in relationships with a couple of individuals on different occasions, whom I did not like (should have wised up and left sooner) that completely killed my sex drive. It was like.... cheating isn't an option and i don't desire to sleep with you. Goodbye sex.


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## rosegeranium (Apr 1, 2013)

marked174 said:


> This comic might be relevant.


That cartoon is demonstrating what's wrong with society as a whole when it comes to sex. Those male characters are demonstrating a lack of boundaries. That's just disrespectful and shallow what they are saying to her. Men have been trained by society and athiesm that they are just mindless sex machines. Men that have a healthy outlook on life might be sexually attracted but they wouldn't think of just asking that to a woman because it's disrespectful. It would be disrespectful if a woman was in their place as well, men have boundaries too. 

Men and women are about equally into sex I think but males have been pressured to detach from their feelings more and just take it whenever. I know guys that are VERY sexual, but they wouldn't just ask to go screw like an animal in the bathroom.


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## android654 (Jan 19, 2010)

rosegeranium said:


> That cartoon is demonstrating what's wrong with society as a whole when it comes to sex. Those male characters are demonstrating a lack of boundaries. That's just disrespectful and shallow what they are saying to her. Men have been trained by society and athiesm that they are just mindless sex machines. Men that have a healthy outlook on life might be sexually attracted but they wouldn't think of just asking that to a woman because it's disrespectful. It would be disrespectful if a woman was in their place as well, men have boundaries too.
> 
> Men and women are about equally into sex I think but males have been pressured to detach from their feelings more and just take it whenever. I know guys that are VERY sexual, but they wouldn't just ask to go screw like an animal in the bathroom.




I think you're making it much more profound of an issue than it actually is. Any why does atheism have to do with attitudes toward sex?


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## marked174 (Feb 24, 2010)

rosegeranium said:


> That cartoon is demonstrating what's wrong with society as a whole when it comes to sex. Those male characters are demonstrating a lack of boundaries. That's just disrespectful and shallow what they are saying to her. Men have been trained by society and athiesm that they are just mindless sex machines. Men that have a healthy outlook on life might be sexually attracted but they wouldn't think of just asking that to a woman because it's disrespectful. It would be disrespectful if a woman was in their place as well, men have boundaries too.
> 
> Men and women are about equally into sex I think but males have been pressured to detach from their feelings more and just take it whenever. I know guys that are VERY sexual, but they wouldn't just ask to go screw like an animal in the bathroom.


1. How is it disrespectful? If anything, it is a compliment. 

2. Also, what does atheism have to do with it? 

3. Males aren't pressured into taking sex whenever. They are deprived from it (for the most part) so they take it on the blue moon when they get the chance. Emotional detachment has nothing to do with it.


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## Red Panda (Aug 18, 2010)

marked174 said:


> This comic might be relevant.


why does being sexual have to mean doing it with whomever?


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## marked174 (Feb 24, 2010)

Red Panda said:


> why does being sexual have to mean doing it with whomever?


It doesn't, but there's a difference between "being sexual" and "being as sexual as men".
That could just be a stereotype, however. It could be possible that, if the tables were turned, men would treat sex the same way that women do. But because most men can't get sex by simply getting naked and snapping their fingers, I am unable to test it.


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## Red Panda (Aug 18, 2010)

marked174 said:


> It doesn't, but there's a difference between "being sexual" and "being as sexual as men".
> That could just be a stereotype, however. It could be possible that, if the tables were turned, men would treat sex the same way that women do. But because most men can't get sex by simply getting naked and snapping their fingers, I am unable to test it.


I understand that, though I think there are plenty of women that desire sex just like men do, they just want it with the right person, and they'd do everything. That's what "being sexual" means to me, at least.


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## rosegeranium (Apr 1, 2013)

android654 said:


> I think you're making it much more profound of an issue than it actually is. Any why does atheism have to do with attitudes toward sex?


EDIT: This turned into a long post so sorry in advance.

He brought up a topic that I see consistently, that men are just programmed to want to screw all the time and so that if a woman says she thinks it's gross to want to just jump in, say, the bathroom the guys nod their heads like,"See? Women don't want sex as much!" I think that is just so mechanical and stupid!

Athiesm is a big proponent of the "spread your genes, males are meant to want sex at every opportunity," belief. I mean, if that's what someone wants then _fine_, _that's what you want_. But if you ask a lot of guys nowadays why they are gung-ho to fuck at a moment's notice their answer will often trickle down to,"I'm a guy, it's my instinct to spread my seed, natural selection, survival of the fittest, blah blah blah." What woman can say no to that. Oh, I guess that's just how it is. Ok, I guess my sex drive is just lower. But since you're an alpha male, I guess I should...It's like, does anyone KNOW WHY THEY'RE HAVING SEX GODDAMIT!(caps were intended to be comical) I know it's none of my business but I just see it all of the time and I feel the need to bring it up, y'know? 

I'm not saying athiesm is evil and I'm not religious and yes, religion definitely has had a negative, moldy effect on the way people view sex. But it irritates me that some people do not think for themselves and, ironically, turned to a mindset that is considered more or less "enlightened" such as athiesm when they are figuring out their desires. 

If someone just wants to screw in the bathroom, then fine, that's what they want. Lust is an instinct that has a part in that too. But a lot of people don't even think, they're just as bad as Christians that automatically say you must wait til marriage or misognyists that automatically assume because women are lesser creatures they must give into the man. I think, like all ideologies or belief systems, athiesm has some negative concepts sprouting from it, such as the plutocratic"survival of the fittest" mode that the bourgeousie especially have adopted from it and the "humans are first and foremost looking to spread their genes. males especially are engineered for this and so it is perfectly normal for him to want to screw at a moment's notice, anywhere because his instinct is to spread the genes."

Also, I'm not negating the male sex drive. I do believe that we have some programming, obviously, that makes us want to spread our genes. But it's taken precedent, at least in people's minds, to an absurd level. I just think that both genders have an about equal desire for sex but not wanting to just go screw in, say, the bathroom does not demonstrate a women's lack of sex drive but rather the mechanical, spread your seed stereotype male sexuality has been attributed.


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## marked174 (Feb 24, 2010)

rosegeranium said:


> Also, I'm not negating the male sex drive. I do believe that we have some programming, obviously, that makes us want to spread our genes. But it's taken precedent, at least in people's minds, to an absurd level. I just think that both genders have an about equal desire for sex but not wanting to just go screw in, say, the bathroom does not demonstrate a women's lack of sex drive but rather the mechanical, spread your seed stereotype male sexuality has been attributed.


I usually side with nurture over nature, but until men have equal access to sex we can't test the theory that it's all just stereotypes.


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## marked174 (Feb 24, 2010)

Red Panda said:


> I understand that, though I think there are plenty of women that desire sex just like men do, they just want it with the right person, and they'd do everything. That's what "being sexual" means to me, at least.


Compare it to being hungry.

Man: "I'm starving. I'll eat anything at this point."
Woman: "I'm hungry, but I won't eat anything that is cooked under medium well."

Question: Who's hungrier?
Hint: The answer isn't "Well they're both hungry".


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## rosegeranium (Apr 1, 2013)

marked174 said:


> I usually side with nurture over nature, but until men have equal access to sex we can't test the theory that it's all just stereotypes.


Some men don't have equal access to sex because they act like you, dude! You are so fake. You're manipulative and try to get everyone to think you've been so abused. You're just butthurt and say the same thing over and over your various posts, "Women must approach men for sex, men don't have equal access, blah blah." You're just angry because you can't get the bitchy type of women that have rejected you. Why don't you just find someone nice, she'll have sex with you. Oh wait, that's not what you really want. Everything is about giving to _you_!


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