# Coming Out To Extended Family



## So Long So Long (Jun 6, 2009)

So I have come to the wise members of PC with a question, a video and a mission. 






That's the video. It's me explaining being trans and all that great stuff. 

I plan on showing it to my extended family (and probably my dad to re-freshen the idea of ftm) but I'm not sure how to go about it without it being even more awkward. 

So yeah, any suggestions would be welcomed!

- Christopher


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

It's good. I think you explain it in a mature and articulate way, although maybe lacking in confidence (I wouldn't suggest reading from a script or anything, though, because I think it does need to come naturally).

I can't really suggest anything to make the announcement go well, but good luck and I hope the response is the positive one you need and deserve.


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## So Long So Long (Jun 6, 2009)

skycloud86 said:


> It's good. I think you explain it in a mature and articulate way, although maybe lacking in confidence (I wouldn't suggest reading from a script or anything, though, because I think it does need to come naturally).
> 
> I can't really suggest anything to make the announcement go well, but good luck and I hope the response is the positive one you need and deserve.


I probably seem less confident in it because I keep on saying 'um' throughout the video. Believe it or not I am the King of Um in real life, so I don't think they'll even notice that part of it. I really don't want to have to do the video over again because I don't think I can get back into the mindset that I was in when I made the video. 

Thank you, though. I'm not sure how they're going to react (as mentioned in the video) but hopefully it won't be hate. I'd rather go with indifference than hate.


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## Ben (Aug 23, 2009)

I think it'll be awkward no matter how you go about it. Maybe call as many family members as you can and show them the video in person?


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## Kevinaswell (May 6, 2009)

Just bust that shit out likie it's not a big deal.

Cuz it's not.


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## So Long So Long (Jun 6, 2009)

Ben said:


> I think it'll be awkward no matter how you go about it. Maybe call as many family members as you can and show them the video in person?


I think I'm either going to show my cousins or my grandparent's first, so I guess just going over or sending to them would be the right course of action.



Kevinaswell said:


> Just bust that shit out likie it's not a big deal.
> 
> Cuz it's not.


But it is a big deal to them, unfortunately, so I have to make it a big deal.


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## HannibalLecter (Apr 18, 2010)

Whatever you say they won't like you for it, most likely.


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## So Long So Long (Jun 6, 2009)

HannibalLecter said:


> Whatever you say they won't like you for it, most likely.


Well that's just great.


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## Aßbiscuits (Oct 8, 2009)

HannibalLecter said:


> Whatever you say they won't like you for it, most likely.


*Well aren't you just a ticket?*


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## Blood Rose (Nov 14, 2009)

Aw hun, when are you going to show them? Keep us updated.  

I do believe you went about this in an appropriate manner as well, and, just don't worry so much about what they say, since this isn't something you could help and they should love you no less than they already do.


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## Lady K (Oct 13, 2009)

I don't have anything different to say about what you're doing, but I wanted to stop in and give a support hug. I'm so impressed by the leaps and bounds you have made with this whole thing over the time I've known you. (You probably don't know me, but I've read your posts for awhile). I'm wishing for all the best for you. I don't know your extended family, but I do know that some families take it really bad, but some of them take it really well too. Just remember that no matter what their reactions are, it doesn't mean they don't love you. *hugs* I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say that we'll be here waiting to give you hugs and kisses and our support throughout any thing you're doing.


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## Aßbiscuits (Oct 8, 2009)

Lady K said:


> I don't have anything different to say about what you're doing, but I wanted to stop in and give a support hug. I'm so impressed by the leaps and bounds you have made with this whole thing over the time I've known you. (You probably don't know me, but I've read your posts for awhile). I'm wishing for all the best for you. I don't know your extended family, but I do know that some families take it really bad, but some of them take it really well too. Just remember that no matter what their reactions are, it doesn't mean they don't love you. *hugs* I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say that we'll be here waiting to give you hugs and kisses and our support throughout any thing you're doing.


**Takes deep breath*


D'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Thes so cute!*


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

Hey, Christopher,

Very good, very brave, guy. *hug*

I'm glad you have gotten to a point where you feel you can communicate your feelings to your family.

I think the biggest thing I want to tell you is that some people will accept you, some will not, some might not accept this right away but will eventually be convinced by how you proceed and the commitment you express as you become yourself, and others might seem to be supportive but will turn on you later. Get friends who can support you when your family inadvetently lets you down; when one person in a family transitions, EVERYONE transitions, and they need time to accept and grow into this as well. During that time of adjustment for them, you'll need some faithful friends and mentors to be there for you.

Something else -- I know you know what you need to do, but be careful when you tell people they "can't stop you" -- you are still 16 and under your parents' guardianship for a few years yet. Adults might take that as a challenge, and right now you are not financially and legally independent. I missed how much support you have from your family, so maybe you do have some allies; I would just say it would be prudent to fill them in but not to throw down a gauntlet like that until you know they can't derail you and/or make your life miserable. Some families do nutty things to stop younger members from doing things they do not approve of. I expect your parents/adults to want you to attend counseling, see a doctor, etc.; and they'll choose the doctors you see. Just hang in there, steady as she goes, and be patient. Two more years and you'll at least be legally free.

Anyway, very brave, very eloquent... you are a remarkable guy. The people who truly love you WILL stick with you; the ones who bail didn't love you as much as you thought they did. That knowledge can be hard, but it's very instructive. Hang in there. *hugs*


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