# Secret crushes.



## Female INFJ (Feb 27, 2010)

Grim said:


> I'm curious about something... how many of you out there have secret crushes that you're harboring... but just can't bring yourself to approach?
> 
> If some secret crushes get revealed here... that is OK. But there is no expectation to name names.
> 
> ...


....secret crushes - what a delicious topic...​ 
so more and more i harbour these desires and crushes, even for people around me that i have known for a long time...in the past, i would just be up front about things - but that approach, as i get older i see lacked tact, and was not suitable in all situations...

i am learning more to be more patient - and learning about my intuition, i always felt it was pretty accurate, but now i see that with age it is increasing in accuracy, and speed...so i can often be in situations where i can see where it is going, and how good a potential person can be in my life - long before they 'get' there...and this is terribly frustrating...i tend to deal with this, with a lot of 'cool' distance, and innuendo. 

but waiting for things, instead of rushing has so many bonuses...and a lot of time to think, on my end...but people who think i'll wait around forever are sometimes foolish also, because i can move on rather quickly also...so this can be an issue for 'shy' types of people...but i'm learning now, more about relationships...so maybe i'll eventually have a proper one! with one of my crushes, who knows... 

another upside to length of time getting to know someone is to see their different sides, that can be exciting, because a lot of men take a lot of time to open up, i'm surprised, it seems to be an even a more lengthy process than for women, i guess a lot of them have issues with opening up, rightfully they want to open up to the right people...that is a good thing, but can be frustrating at times with my level of curiousity.

well looking forward to seeing what others have to say on this issue...



snail said:


> It's strange, but people are more likely to develop crushes on me in real life than online. Whatever makes me attractive to men must be something that doesn't carry over well into this reality, like a certain vibe. Cryptonia says I seem warm and accepting in person, but frequently come across as harsh and judgmental online. He thinks I seem less insane in real life, although still somewhat fragile. Other than that, I was mostly what he expected. When there was that thread a long time ago where people were asked to PM one of our members with the names of secret online crushes to see if any were mutual, nobody picked me. Then again, my list was not of actual crushes. It was of the people I thought I would be most likely to be compatible with if I weren't already interested in the person who is now my boyfriend. It was a very short list, and one of the people on it has since revealed that he is gay. So, I guess that's not really conclusive evidence that nobody picked me. I might have been wanted by someone I never considered.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This wasn't the case when I was younger, or perhaps because I am more of a pursuer, I never notice guys that are into me (i think i missed out on some good guys because of my 'one track mind'), other than the one that I'm chasing...but lately this issue for me is coming up more...so in these cases, i never talk about it with a guy, i avoid, and never lead on...especially for the same reasons i stated above (in reverse). 

if i don't see a realistic connection to a person, or in some cases if a guy is too young, or i feel they are not my type, i won't encourage their attention, or treat them meanly...but a little attention is harmless i guess...but i can't say i go out looking for it, i would prefer attention from the types of guys that would be more suitable for me! but then i have to work on this issue...


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## Lestat (Jun 1, 2010)

I usually can't help but blurting it out....

:dry:


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## Female INFJ (Feb 27, 2010)

Lestat said:


> I usually can't help but blurting it out....
> 
> :dry:


Lestat - what happened when you did this? Curious?


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## Lestat (Jun 1, 2010)

Saying "I-love-you-so-much-want-to-date-me-please-oh-shit-I-said-that-out-loud" all in one breath is generally not the best way to woo a lady. :dry:


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## Blue Butterfly (Sep 19, 2009)

I have a secret crush on Grim but he don't come to play anymore. :sad:

I miss your post Grim.


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## amanda32 (Jul 23, 2009)

I hate secret crushes. Bloody well spit it out wouldja, is what I think.


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## Rayne (Apr 28, 2010)

One of my online friends and one of my friends from college. They're literally like both, perfect in their own ways.


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## Calvaire (Nov 14, 2009)

There's someone that I felt I had some weird connection to,don't know really where the
person is now I wouldn't say it's a secret crush now but I'd say I would love to actually talk
and get to know this person.
He was I don't know pretty much perfect.
I also wouldn't mind telling him how talented he is.


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## boredToDeath (Jan 3, 2010)

Just this girl in my class, but I never got the courage to ask her out.


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## NightSkyGirl (Apr 11, 2010)

Ah, yes, secret crushes. This certainly brings back memories from high school. :dry:


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## silverlined (Jul 8, 2009)

95% of my crushes remain secret. What usually happens is I move them into the friend zone and I think it will be easier to make my move from there but then I don't do it. Part of it is fear of rejection, but the other part of it is I just have trouble expressing affection even though I'm feeling it very deeply inside. Part of the trouble is that I'm experiencing it so deeply and it feels as if a lot is at stake.
Sometimes I don't make a move because I'm so grateful for their friendship and just to have them in my life in that way. I'm afraid that if I make a move it will make things awkward and the friendship wouldn't be the same anymore. But it's hard to watch bolder girls make a move on him or be more expressive or effusive about their feelings.

But ironically my unexpressed feelings with my current secret crush have become so intense and uncomfortable that not expressing them has made the friendship very awkward and in many ways, it has pushed us apart. I will tell my story about all this soon.


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## curious0610 (Jun 27, 2010)

Yes - usually the TJ types. I talk myself out of liking them secretly , usually because I don't have enough courage to initiate something.


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## kiwigrl (Apr 27, 2010)

When I was single I had a million crushes, but I was too shy to act on them. If I was single now I would be kind of brash probably, so there wouldn't be any secret crushes. One boyfriend I had, I went up to him, sensed that he was attracted to me and said "You can ask me out if you want", and obediently he smiled (sheepishly) and asked me out.


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## Immemorial (May 16, 2010)

Out of curiosity; is it odd to have never had a crush one someone?
I've never crushed on anyone in my life. Not yet anyway. :mellow:


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## Seeker99 (Jan 13, 2010)

I might have an e-crush on a PerC member (teehee)

In real life, not right now. But I tend to stick with them for a looong time. I never ever tell anyone I like them - just no.


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## SlowPoke68 (Apr 26, 2010)

I harbored a crush for years on my former boss, a charming woman and an ENFP who bears a passing resemblance to the actress Kathrine Ross from back in the 70's. I found out a couple years ago that she was getting divorced. I was married at the time. I called her anyway:

"So Betty (not her real name), I hear you're getting divorced. Sad to hear!"
"Oh yeah, just one of those things."
"Well one question"
"Yes"
"Why couldn't you have gotten divorced when I was divorced so we could have screwed?"

This was a ballsy move to express something I had to get off my chest. 

It delighted her. 

I mean . . . it REALLY delighted her . .. . ifyaknowwhatImsayin . . . . 

:tongue:


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