# Soulmates



## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Hello NFs! How are you? I'm doing great except there's one thing I'm curious about that I think you can help me with. What is a soulmate? I ask you because I've heard NFs are the temperament most likely to believe in soulmates. I certainly can't remember this being discussed on the NT or SJ boards, for example. Do you believe in soulmates? What does it mean to you? How do you recognize one? How important is it to find one? What is an acceptable alternative, if there is one? Thank you!


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## 11thNight (Sep 2, 2012)

I recently answered a similar question in another thread. I'll just throw my answer here:




> I kind of do believe in "the one", but not necessarily in the traditional sense.
> 
> There is a limited amount of people we will each meet in our life time, somewhat influenced by the decisions we make. Within that pool, there is a certain amount of people we would be willing to date based on character, attraction, values, etc giving or taking different criteria for what we want and what we are willing to settle for. Within that smaller pool, there is a limited amount of people who would be willing to date/marry us for various reasons. You can keep narrowing down the list until there is a small handful of people who you could basically date/marry and be happy with. Within that small handful, you're probably going to chose the person who you like the best or who likes you the best.
> 
> ...


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

11thNight said:


> I recently answered a similar question in another thread. I'll just throw my answer here:


Was that a dig at my laziness?  OK, so you don't believe in a unique person you have a spiritual connection to and are fated to meet? Or something like that? Cuz what you describe I could agree with and so could Match.com who would offer to find that person for you and might do a very good job, indeed.


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## AuroraLight (Dec 1, 2014)

Not sure if i can say i believe in the idea of soulmate. Mostly because i feel there are many qualities i enjoy in people so to find somebody that carries all those traits i enjoy seems a bit too demanding. The idea of soulmate is suppose to be the perfect one. I personally enjoy a bit of imperfection it makes a person interesting, it gives them something to learn and to explore. I don't think finding a soulmate is important, I think if you can find someone who carries the important qualities you lack and makes you happy, that's crucial. If you both can work together through struggles and still accept each other for your imperfections and both of you can find happiness in what you both learn from each other and how they add new elements to your life that give great lessons and create new experiences i think that's what really matters. Perfection is an idea that doesn't exists, perfection is rather predictable and safe its expected. Isn't challenging oneself and learning new things together keeps life interesting?


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## 11thNight (Sep 2, 2012)

ae1905 said:


> Was that a dig at my laziness?


Lol. Nah, it only covered the INFJ perspective. Though if you're interested:
http://personalitycafe.com/infj-for...fj-thoughts-one-soul-mates-idea-settling.html



ae1905 said:


> OK, so you don't believe in a unique person you have a spiritual connection to and are fated to meet? Or something like that? Cuz what you describe I could agree with and so could Match.com who would offer to find that person for you and might do a very good job, indeed.


Erm, uh, well... I don't know really. I think God and choice probably both play a role. I think I could be "fated" to meet the one, but I also believe my and their choices play a role; I don't think I'd end up with them no matter what. I believe true love is a choice.

I at least know I don't believe in Match.com--at least not till I'm a bit older and more desperate.


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

11thNight said:


> Lol. Nah, it only covered the INFJ perspective. Though if you're interested:
> http://personalitycafe.com/infj-for...fj-thoughts-one-soul-mates-idea-settling.html
> 
> 
> ...


LOL! Now, that _is _a dig and don't deny it! 

So you have more faith in God than Match.com? God probably has more members. But Match has a better website. Close call, really. JK. So you believe in a God that helps those who help themsevles. Makes sense. God didn't give us a will and body so we could lie around, right? Well, he did to INTPs, but we're his special children and that's another story. The rest of you have to get up and do something. Anyhow, I digress, it's late. I think many people have some sense of fate, especially people who believe in God. How do you explain bad things that happen? I suppose fate is part of that story, too? What if you never meet someone special? And I'm sure you will, but I'm just saying to see how you think about it--a hypothetical.


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## 11thNight (Sep 2, 2012)

ae1905 said:


> LOL! Now, that _is _a dig and don't deny it!
> 
> So you have more faith in God than Match.com? God probably has more members. But Match has a better website. Close call, really. JK. So you believe in a God that helps those who help themsevles. Makes sense. *God didn't give us a will and body so we could lie around, right? Well, he did to INTPs, but we're his special children and that's another story.* The rest of you have to get up and do something. Anyhow, I digress, it's late. I think many people have some sense of fate, especially people who believe in God. How do you explain bad things that happen? I suppose fate is part of that story too? What if you never met someone special? And I'm sure you will, but I'm just saying to see how you think about it--a hypothetical.


Oh my, so many questions.

It's hard to describe what I mean by God playing a role, though it probably has more to do with my personal principles to pick by than fate (though I think a little fate is involved). Overall, I think choosing a mate should be done logically--such as choosing someone with similar values and someone who is interested in taking a similar path in life. Of course personal preference, attraction, and connection are involved as well. Actually, some dating sites do a very good job of matching people up on those important things; it's just not my cup of tea. Though, I personally think you have to have a great deal of confidence to throw yourself out there to be judged romantically by the whole internet, that, and to meet up with total strangers.

If I didn't end up with someone special: I believe I'd be fine with it. I would like to eventually get married, but I'm quite content being single. As long as I had fulfilling friendships, I'd be fine.

Why do I believe bad things happen?: Wow, this is escalating quickly! Though seriously, if you have any questions about my theology I'd be happy to answer if you PM me. I'll give you my best answer (which might be I don't know).

And, yes. INTPs are special.


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## ai.tran.75 (Feb 26, 2014)

For me soul mate is somebody who completes me- is the other part of me that make me feel whole and carries trait that I lack but combines well with my personality when we're together, the person whom I can be most comfortable with and trust most and make me feel like the best version of myself and vice versa . I guess it can be seen as platonic or romantic , I've seen sisters or friendship that are quite strong, in that sense I believe in the term soul mates - but if we're talking cosmetic or fate then no I don't really believe in that. As for how important is it for me to find my soul mate - it never crossed my attention until I found mine  but I'm glad I did


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## nichya (Jul 12, 2014)

@ae1905
You will know.


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## Windblownhair (Aug 12, 2013)

ae1905 said:


> Hello NFs! How are you? I'm doing great except there's one thing I'm curious about that I think you can help me with. What is a soulmate? I ask you because I've heard NFs are the temperament most likely to believe in soulmates. I certainly can't remember this being discussed on the NT or SJ boards, for example. Do you believe in soulmates? What does it mean to you? How do you recognize one? How important is it to find one? What is an acceptable alternative, if there is one? Thank you!


I believe this was touched on in *Please Understand Me 2*. Each type had a particular pairing based on what they valued: NT mindmates, NF soulmates, SP playmates, SJ helpmates. (Someone correct me if I'm wrong. Working from memory here).

As far as my own personal feelings, I don't really like the term soulmate. I don't ascribe to the ideas of fate or destiny, nor do I think there is a singular 'perfect' person for me. I'm not perfect, so heaven forbid I actually find someone like that. I'd drive them batty.

I do like some of the ideas behind it - intimate connection, putting the other person first, deep commitment, etc. But to me, the word soulmate has been overused and applied so liberally that it is ruined.


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## nichya (Jul 12, 2014)

Windblownhair said:


> NT mindmates, NF soulmates, SP playmates, SJ helpmates.


 This is so good.

I do believe in soul mates, I do believe in parallel universes finding its ways. I said this twice tonight but it is not about perfection, it is about connection. The feeling you get as if you have known them from another life, as if they have been created as a part of your soul and they were missing, for all your life, until that moment. Sparks and all that ;D You should possibly watch Mr.Nobody and AND jeux d'enfants


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

11thNight said:


> Actually, some dating sites do a very good job of matching people up on those important things; it's just not my cup of tea. Though, I personally think you have to have a great deal of confidence to throw yourself out there to be judged romantically by the whole internet, that, and to meet up with total strangers.


I'm not on Match but brought it up cuz I mentioned the research behind their matchmaking methodology in this thread. It may interest you.I'd be interested in your thoughts.

http://personalitycafe.com/myers-briggs-forum/407466-another-theory-matchmaking.html



> And, yes. INTPs are special.


Aww, isn't that logical of you to say! Makes me wanna shed a syllogism. Sniff.


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

nichya said:


> @_ae1905_
> You will know.


How will I know?

Do you mean this:



nichya said:


> I do believe in soul mates, I do believe in parallel universes finding its ways. I said this twice tonight but it is not about perfection, it is about connection. The feeling you get as if you have known them from another life, as if they have been created as a part of your soul and they were missing, for all your life, until that moment. Sparks and all that ;D You should possibly watch Mr.Nobody and AND jeux d'enfants


Did you read this somewhere or have you met your soulmate? Or is this the ideal you imagine, or a longing you feel? Where does this come from?


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## nichya (Jul 12, 2014)

ae1905 said:


> How will I know?
> 
> Do you mean this:
> 
> ...


That is the point silly kitty: "You WILL know" Everybody has a different soul so you will know. There is no formula or recipe.

I believe I might have met my soulmate indeed, I wrote how I felt when I did. I had not felt the same way before - ever. He just happened to be not that person. Haha, confusing? We had a lot of miscommunication and other people intervening and universe playing tricks and all in all he wasn't the most decisive and understanding person although it was mutual, because he was influenced a lot and well interpreted my actions wrong, anyways ! I do believe in soulmates, I just don't know if you will end up with being with them. That is the tricky part, are you on that perfect time and space, are you confused and influenced easily by your environment, are you brave enough? Those decide if you will end up with them.


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## Twily and Vanilla (Nov 9, 2012)

Vanilla: All right! Let's answer this. 
I do believe there are soulmates, but they is too rare to make solid validation. I like to believe it like a _postulate_ concept. 
I see soulmates are people truthfully relates in an extremely deep level of individual. It could be in helping, gaming, or anything else that touches our little souls. They could be opposite in most of our life, or actually being good co-op partners. But in the end, mates are mates, no permanent damage.
We can't recognize a soulmate until when we lost them, I think. They are too near to us to recognize between a soulmate and somebody who are close to us like SO.
Soulmates may not required for those who requires deep emotional interactions, but we still need one to help us standing in our worst days. It's like a minimal concept of being social in humanity.
There is an alternative, it might not work with everyone, nor believe by everyone either. Well? 

Twily: The concept of soulmate is controversial to talk. I'm more of a person who believes on semi-permanent soulmates, those who are extremely deep at us in a moment of time, in a certain side - mind, game - like Vanilla said.


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## pinaattitonttu (Jan 6, 2014)

When I was younger I believed, that somewhere on this planet there is that one perfect person, who is destined to be with me. Somehow we would meet one day and it would be all magical and blissful. But then again I believed in fairytales and Santa Claus too. (That sounded more cynical than I intended)

To me a soulmate still represents a person who is a perfect fit for me, I just don't think that there is only one person who can meet these standards. Also, my view of perfection has changed: I don't want a heroic but bland Prince Charming anymore, I want something interesting, I want the quirks. And on top of all I want a deep connection. I guess that's the most important part. 

I think a soulmate could also be just a friend you really connect with. As I said I think there are many soulmates for everyone.


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## nichya (Jul 12, 2014)

To quirks & a deep connection !  cheers
@pinaattitonttu


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## pinaattitonttu (Jan 6, 2014)

nichya said:


> To quirks & a deep connection !  cheers
> @pinaattitonttu


Haha indeed!


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## 11thNight (Sep 2, 2012)

ae1905 said:


> I'm not on Match but brought it up cuz I mentioned the research behind their matchmaking methodology in this thread.


I never though that you were saying you were. I kind of jokingly poked fun at online dating in my first post. However, I don't think there's anything wrong or lame about it. It's a valid resource people may choose to tap into. That's what I was trying to clarify in my second post; I just couldn't stop myself from being sarcastic though. 


ae1905 said:


> It may interest you.I'd be interested in your thoughts.
> 
> http://personalitycafe.com/myers-briggs-forum/407466-another-theory-matchmaking.html
> 
> ...


It is fairly interesting. I usually don't put much stock into mbti compatibility theories. Most of them are based on inductive theories with little to no research to back them up. It's nice to see someone doing a little research about this. However, I feel like I'd have to know more about Fisher's research design to get an idea of how valid her research is. Admittedly, I just watched to the first video. The second was tl;dw.

Anyway the chemicals seem to be related to the four temperaments, which have various names:

Dopamine=Sanguine
Serotonin=Melancholic
Testosterone=Choleric
Estrogen=Phlegmatic

I've heard these temperaments mentioned hand-in-hand with these chemicals. Not sure if this is directly because of Fisher's research (once again, didn't watch the second video). If you look at the profile of these types you'll see them linked to the chemicals here:Different Types of Personality - Find Out Who You Are!

There seems to be some debate over which mbti types may be correlated with which temperaments (at least from what I've observed on PerC). The most common conclusions seem to be:

Sanguine=SP or EP (sometimes EF)
Melancholic=SJ or IJ (sometimes IT)
Choleric=NT or EJ (sometimes ET)
Phlegmatic=NF or IP (sometimes IF)

Some people have tried to correlate Temperament type and subtype with a specific mbti type:









There's also threads about this on PerC, asking people what their temperament/sub-temperament is. From what I observed, there did seem to be a link between being an SJ and having melancholy as a temperament or sub-temperament, being an SP and having sanguine as a temperament or sub-temperament, being an NF and having phlegmatic as a temperament or sub-temperament, and being an NT and having choleric as a temperament or sub-temperament. However I did not notice a strong enough correlation with mbti type and temperament/sub-temperament to support the specific temperament combination chart above.

In short, *my opinion bas**ed on the highly subjective and unscientific observation of PerC thr**eads*, is that the four temperaments are likely somewhat correlated to mbti type, though not strong enough to say having this temperament/sub-temperament combination means you're this mbti type. And with regards to compatibility in general, most of the research I've read seems to support that similarity is usually correlated with attraction and compatibility. However, there is also some evidence that suggests that having differing personalities led to greater satisfaction down the road in long term relationships.


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## cheburashka (Jan 4, 2013)

i think we can have many soulmates. they do not necessarily have to be romantic. i think a soulmate is someone who you find solace in and who you feel connected to and who makes you happy. it is like "clicking" with a person when you talk to them. it is loving and caring for someone else on a deep level. it is understanding another person. i think when we talk of soulmates we should talk of friends and not romantic partners, unless a romantic partner is also a very deep friend. i also think you can travel in and out of having a soulmate, and not that you have just one true person who you were meant to be with. life changes and we change, so why should we expect our soulmates not to change? but i also think that if you have a bond with a person that is of soulmate status there is more of a reason to stay with them during trying times.


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

11thNight said:


> I never though that you were saying you were. I kind of jokingly poked fun at online dating in my first post. However, I don't think there's anything wrong or lame about it. It's a valid resource people may choose to tap into. That's what I was trying to clarify in my second post; I just couldn't stop myself from being sarcastic though.


Don't sweat it, INFJ, I thought it was funny. 



> It is fairly interesting. I usually don't put much stock into mbti compatibility theories...


I don't want to derail this thread so I'm moving this to the "type matching" thread.

http://personalitycafe.com/myers-briggs-forum/407466-another-theory-matchmaking.html


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## Blessed Frozen Cells (Apr 3, 2013)

I only believe in multiple platonic soulmates.


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Blessed Frozen Cells said:


> I only believe in multiple platonic soulmates.


Can you elaborate on this?


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## Grad0507 (Dec 12, 2013)

ae1905 said:


> Hello NFs! How are you? I'm doing great except there's one thing I'm curious about that I think you can help me with. What is a soulmate? I ask you because I've heard NFs are the temperament most likely to believe in soulmates. I certainly can't remember this being discussed on the NT or SJ boards, for example. Do you believe in soulmates? What does it mean to you? How do you recognize one? How important is it to find one? What is an acceptable alternative, if there is one? Thank you!


I believe that the word you're looking for is "twin soul" because I believe that soul mates are anyone you knew in a previous life, even people you don't want to know from a previous life but who can benefit you and help you grow spiritually, like family members. A twin soul, on the other hand, was a part of you and you were a part of him/her before you got separated and had to find each other. If you do well on your spiritual journey then you find the person and everything's dandy, but if you're not fixing your soul corrections correctly, then you may find the person but it will be much more challenging.


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## Grad0507 (Dec 12, 2013)

pinaattitonttu said:


> To me a soulmate still represents a person who is a perfect fit for me, I just don't think that there is only one person who can meet these standards.


No, no one will meet your standards. It's not about what's in it for me, it's about making love a choice and a verb. Expectations on a marriage ensure the death of it.


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

Grad0507 said:


> I believe that the word you're looking for is "twin soul" because I believe that soul mates are anyone you knew in a previous life, even people you don't want to know from a previous life but who can benefit you and help you grow spiritually, like family members. A *twin soul, on the other hand, was a part of you and you were a part of him/her before you got separated and had to find each other. *If you do well on your spiritual journey then you find the person and everything's dandy, but if you're not *fixing your soul corrections *correctly, then you may find the person but it will be much more challenging.


The first part sounds like Plato. What do you mean by "fixing your soul corrections"? What is the "spiritual journey"?


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## Blessed Frozen Cells (Apr 3, 2013)

ae1905 said:


> Can you elaborate on this?


I've met friends with whom I feel this deep emotional connection like we're meant to be together and I want to spend the rest of my life with them.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

ae1905 said:


> Hello NFs! How are you? I'm doing great except there's one thing I'm curious about that I think you can help me with. What is a soulmate? I ask you because I've heard NFs are the temperament most likely to believe in soulmates. I certainly can't remember this being discussed on the NT or SJ boards, for example. Do you believe in soulmates? What does it mean to you? How do you recognize one? How important is it to find one? What is an acceptable alternative, if there is one? Thank you!



A soulmate is the one somebody, out of every other possibility in existence, who is the most compatible for a relationship with another somebody. 

Everybody has one somewhere, and when one finds one's soulmate, one will usually immediately know.

It is important not to settle for any less, because if you end up with somebody other than your soulmate, at least two other people besides you are being deprived of their chance to be with their best options, and if the other person's true soulmate ever settles, this negative effect is expanded further.

If your soulmate dies after having already found you, you will usually die shortly after, but if you don't die, the most acceptable alternative is to find the most compatible person who has also lost his/her original soulmate.


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## chanteuse (May 30, 2014)

I don't believe there's only one person who can wear the glass slipper.

But I do believe in the concept of soul mate. I have yet to meet one in my life (my life is 2/3 over). Currently there's one on the horizon (an INTJ). My mind has never been so scrambled before. Apparently I froze like a deer caught in the head light. This unlikely behavior caused this man to conclude that I was not interested in him "that way". 

Realizing my mistake 3 years later, I am actively working to get this guy back. I don't know if he's a soul mate yet but judging by how I seemed to read his chaotic mind when we were one on one, I am kind of 65% sure he is.

If I failed to get him back or if he turns out not to be a soul mate, I will be on the look out for the next guy who'd rock my inner world. If this is not the definition of a soul mate I don't know what is.


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

chanteuse said:


> I don't believe there's only one person who can wear the glass slipper.
> 
> But I do believe in the concept of soul mate. I have yet to meet one in my life (my life is 2/3 over). Currently there's one on the horizon (an INTJ). My mind has never been so scrambled before. Apparently I froze like a deer caught in the head light. This unlikely behavior caused this man to conclude that I was not interested in him "that way".
> 
> ...


What does that bolded part mean? What _is _a soul mate? And you appear to believe there are more than one for every boy and girl, so it can't be _that _special, no?


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## chanteuse (May 30, 2014)

ae1905 said:


> What does that bolded part mean? What _is _a soul mate? And you appear to believe there are more than one for every boy and girl, so it can't be _that _special, no?


It's not easy to have my inner world rocked. As a matter of fact my inner world had never been rocked until I met this guy 3 years ago. That, to me, defines a soul mate.

Is he the only one who can do that? I don't think so. If we'd be two ships passing in the night, not making a lasting connection, I hope I will meet a new guy who can rock my inner world. He'd be a different guy and what he can make me feel may be different but the inner earthquake should be similar.


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

chanteuse said:


> It's not easy to have my inner world rocked. As a matter of fact my inner world had never been rocked until I met this guy 3 years ago. That, to me, defines a soul mate.
> 
> Is he the only one who can do that? I don't think so. If we'd be two ships passing in the night, not making a lasting connection, I hope I will meet a new guy who can rock my inner world. He'd be a different guy and what he can make me feel may be different but the inner earthquake should be similar.


What do you mean "inner world rocked"?


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## Du Toit (Mar 2, 2014)

Soulmate in my experience was the one that showed me what I'd be like if I didn't get my life right back on track asap (my ex). She completed me in that she didn't force me out of my comfort zone and allowed me some level of self-disclosing, but our interactions were really toxic so i had to break up with her.

Since then, the idea of soulmate makes me cringe.


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## chanteuse (May 30, 2014)

ae1905 said:


> What do you mean "inner world rocked"?


It's very rare that I meet a man I find physically attractive (sexual attraction). It's a very, very rare sensation. The ones I did find it only rocked my physical sensation, not in combination with mental sensation. Not until I met this guy. I found him highly desirable mentally and physically. This new sensation apparent was so foreign to me that I was frozen.


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## ae1905 (Jun 7, 2014)

chanteuse said:


> *It's very rare that I meet a man I find physically attractive (sexual attraction). *It's a very, very rare sensation. The ones I did find it only rocked my physical sensation, not in combination with mental sensation. Not until I met this guy. I found him highly desirable mentally and physically. This new sensation apparent was so foreign to me that I was frozen.


Do you think that is because of inferior Se? Is this common with INFJs?


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## chanteuse (May 30, 2014)

ae1905 said:


> Do you think that is because of inferior Se? Is this common with INFJs?


Could be an INFJ thing (feeling detached about own bodily sensation etc.) but my one male INFJ friend had no such a problem being carnal without engaging feelings.

I don't know think it's an NF thing either. Apparently ENFPs have no problem getting into the grove.


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## TheQuirkyArtiste (Oct 21, 2014)

Do you believe in soulmates?
Possibly. It depends on whether the person I believe may be my soul mate ends up being my soul mate. XD

What does it mean to you?
It means the practically perfect fit, somebody who wonderfully compliments and connects in all the right ways, that is pursuing the same stuff with you, or at compliments what you're up to.

How do you recognize one?
Observation, interaction, experimentation, and testing.

How important is it to find one?
Depends. There's a time and place for anything. I say find you, be you, do your things, and then they'll meet you at the right time.

What is an acceptable alternative, if there is one?
The person you fall in love with who's in love with you that is awesome for you and you're awesome for them.


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## Grad0507 (Dec 12, 2013)

ae1905 said:


> The first part sounds like Plato. What do you mean by "fixing your soul corrections"? What is the "spiritual journey"?


It's not Plato, it's Kabbalah, which I believe was before Plato. Fixing your soul correction roughly translates into fixing your karma. It's like Groundhog Day in a way. If you don't learn your lesson, you're doomed to repeat it. I don't really know how to better say spiritual journey. I thought it was self-explanatory.


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## AliceKettle (Feb 2, 2014)

I definitley believe that the right guy will find me one day and will fall in love, but right now I'm just not ready or willing to meet him yet. As of right now, I'm far more interested in finishing college and perhaps going to grad school to become an opera singer or vocal instructor. Maybe, I'll be both. Who knows? Once I've achieved my independent goals, I'll think about falling in love and finding "the one." 
Of course, I'll meet many guys who I feel attracted to. That's not enough to start a relationship for me though, I need to feel in my heart that I have a deep and meaningful connection with someone, and I haven't found that yet. They say that there's a lot of fish in the sea, but there's only one fish in the sea for me. I'll know it when I feel it and I'm ready.


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## aurelief (Apr 5, 2014)

I do believe there is someone out there with whom I share an instant connection that can develop into mutual attraction and understanding, at a very 'profound' level, I suppose. One where we just completely get each other. Like what @chanteuse mentioned, having my inner world rocked. Mentally, physically, and 'spiritually'. Feeling overwhelmed, and like my soul deep within me is singing. Sounds a bit abstract, but it's hard to translate the immensity of that feeling into words.


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## crumbs (Dec 17, 2013)

*soul mate*

_noun_: a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.

I personally think soulmates do exist, just not really in the way that most people would describe them. To me, it's always been someone who you understand and are in sync with at a gut level, but the way it's usually portrayed as the be-all and end-all of someone's ability to connect with other people is suuuper hyper-idealized. You can have more than one soulmate in your lifetime, and sometimes they exist side by side. Sometimes it's romantic, sometimes it's not. I just stick with the term "best friend" and call it a day.


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## writtencoffee (Aug 19, 2014)

I do believe there is definitely more than one soulmate out there, but it's extremely rare to come across one.
Maybe I can explain this with a short example:
I have always easily connected with all kinds of people, but I only came across one person who I'd count as a "soulmate".
When we met, it felt literally like I was meeting someone I knew all along, someone who mutually felt familiar from the first moment on. Someone, who gives you a warm fuzzy feeling inside and makes you feel like everything is alright. Someone, who I have no clue about what he is thinking, but I don't worry about it, because the conversation just flows. No weirdness, just real, pure attention for each other. Like the clink of two glasses of champagne. Sparkling, exciting, intense.

Unfortunately, this soulmate just came right in and went right out of my life. It wasn't intended, it just went that way. But sometimes I still think about it. Maybe it's even more rare to "keep" a relationship with a soulmate... who knows.


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## L'Enfant Terrible (Jun 8, 2014)

There is obviously no such thing. However it certainely may seem so, more generally at a young age and then as we grow older it's more and more rare to find someone who is so similar. When I think of "soulmates" I imagine those one in a million couples where they are actually compatible.


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## triste (Apr 29, 2015)

INFP here. I believed in soulmates when I was a child but I grew past that way of thinking. Now I think that the idea of soulmates simply gets used to describe that spark people can feel for eachother. It can be felt with others though, hence, no true soulmate.


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## Val37 (Jan 24, 2015)

I don't believe in soul mates. I prefer _kindred spirits_.


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## Lunaena (Nov 16, 2013)

Since I was a child, I always thought I had a soulmate. I could feel their presence. I don't feel their presence as strongly as I used to, but I know they are out there somewhere. I know it is unrealistic, but the feeling is too strong for me to reject as a simple fantasy. I have always felt it, even before I knew what a soulmate is. I have always had imaginary friends, even before I knew what an imaginary friend was.


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