# Hello NTs, Need your help!!!



## Calpan1832 (Oct 19, 2013)

I am an NT and I am a little (Read: *very* ) confused right now. I have never felt this way, What am I doing, Their is no explanation to this, at least I can't analyze it correctly. So I need your help.
I have no clue to what happened in last one year. Usually I have a habit of never looking back on my past. Moreover, I can separate experience or feelings whenever I am analyzing the cause of them. 
I was reviewing one of my predicament lately, I request you to please don't try to label what I am experiencing. 
So there is this The girl. I saw here nearly a year ago. My god I was like awestruck and my jaw drop to my knees, you know what I mean. The only thing I could spoke to myself was "who is she?". Then Like usual I forgot and got busy with work. Later I notice her again and out of my habit, I started to get tuned to her. Basically my intention was to read her body language. And to my surprise I got nothing, nothing at all. She was like a blackbox her emotional responses under any situations were really hard to read. God knows I am an analyst and I have fairly good experience in reading people. I can assure you at this moment that my intentions were pure, I just want to know her more. Why? because I felt some thing was very mystic about her, her aura, her personality. She captured my senses and my thoughts, it is like total rip-off where you want to fight with yourself and in the end you are left with nothing in your hand.
I am not a sit and watch kind of guy. But how should I proceed, At one hand I have the incredible pull towards her on the other hand, I am struggling to listen to my brain. She did nothing, never approached me, never initiated anything. All I had was events of eye-contacts. Which like I said earlier, were analyzed after separating the feelings (Please ask if I lost you here or somewhere before this....  ). So my heart was saying "you need to talk to her" and My brain was saying "Are you nuts? on What basis you are gone talk to her".
The struggle went on for few weeks before I caved in, listened to my heart. I tried to initiated a conversation, (Correction, Pathetic failed attempt). I couldn't talked to her without being nervous. This was the time for my biggest revelation of "my life", I can't talk to the girl I want to talk to most. 
Well some of you might say "Grow a pair of balls, dude". All right guys, I have a normal functioning pair of balls which are working superbly for other folks and even some powerful folks  . But they refuse to work on her.
Ha fast forward a little before I ruin the purpose of this post. Ok after realization of my balls malfunctioning. I tried online chat, hard luck here. She never responded or got my messages. 
Now was the time to take some decisions, I need input without which I can't execute a plan or make a decision. Got the info from the unreliable sources. But under the heat of my predicament. I had not left with any choice but to listen to my Brain. But every portion of my heart was still nagging like a bitch, "you are such an idiot, you never listen to me, you ignores me all the time" And I was trying to make it quite giving it "Logical Antidotes" , to my surprise the antidotes were not working effectively. But somehow situation was under control. 
All right people, months passed by and I was ok, my fight with myself was at the lowest intensity. Then I got the chance. I saw her and we were face to face. This was the moment I allowed my heart to do whatever its wish was. My heart wants to tell her what I feel for her and to get the info to make a decision. I talked to her, full confidence, no nervousness (Just some spikes and overshoots sometime in between).
Anyhow the talk was good, results were negative, but my heart was happy. I was content with what I did at that moment. I am getting in touch with my heart. I tried to get in touch with her heart. 
She was fine, I was fine, thats all I cared for, doesn't matters we are not together, as long as we are ok. Right?
Please share your view as you guys are more emotionally matured than me. I will listen to your advises and responses from my heart. Peace


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## Calpan1832 (Oct 19, 2013)




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## Tzara (Dec 21, 2013)

Calpan1832 said:


> View attachment 122722


Sorry but I cant even begin to express how much of a bullshit this is.


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## Calpan1832 (Oct 19, 2013)

Tzara said:


> Sorry but I cant even begin to express how much of a *bullshit* this is.


Its all-right, every one is learning.


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## Elistra (Apr 6, 2013)

TLDR version = She somehow got into your feels, and you have been obsessed with her to one degree or another ever since?


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## Orchis (May 15, 2014)

Well, sometimes we experience that unexplainable pull towards someone. I guess it is a mix of chemistry and psychology, but I am not educated enough in that field to consider further details.

From your description, it seems like you have done everything you could to get closer to that person. And I am afraid that if you did not get any emotional response from her side, there is not much more you can do. The best thing you did, for sure, was a conversation face to face in which you described your feelings. That was a brave, and I suppose, necessary step. But I can only tell from my side, because I value clear situations without beating around the bush. I assume you tried to get to know her better, get to know about her interests by sending her messages which she ignored. It does not mean there is anything wrong with you or your personality, it just means she did not feel any kind of connection, or willingness to form any bond with you.

In your a bit obsessed attitude you assume you'd make a great relationship, which may be untrue. Your point of view is strongly affected by your feelings currently. What I am trying to say is that you cannot cling to opinion that it was the perfect person for you, as it may be entirely incorrect statement. And likeliness of that is even higher when you think of that conversation you've had which did not give you any positive results.

And, lastly, one more advice. No girl likes clingy, obsessive guys. This is a sign of weakness. You should accept the situation as it is and don't try too hard. It will consume you entirely and bring opposite results. You should avoid that path, as it may lead to self-destruction in a way.

Concentrate on things you enjoy to do and wait (yes, that will be hard, but definitely possible) for that unsettling feeling to fade. This way there is a high chance your emotions will be left unharmed and you'll be able to grow some healthy distance to the whole situation.


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## Calpan1832 (Oct 19, 2013)

Orchis said:


> And, lastly, one more advice. No girl likes clingy, obsessive guys. This is a sign of weakness. You should accept the situation as it is and don't try too hard. It will consume you entirely and bring opposite results. You should avoid that path, as it may lead to self-destruction in a way.
> 
> Concentrate on things you enjoy to do and wait (yes, that will be hard, but definitely possible) for that unsettling feeling to fade. This way there is a high chance your emotions will be left unharmed and you'll be able to grow some healthy distance to the whole situation.


Thanks I really appreciate your response, I guess its time for reflection for things that happened till now.


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## Orchis (May 15, 2014)

Calpan1832 said:


> Thanks I really appreciate your response, I guess its time for reflection for things that happened till now.


 @Calpan1832
Excuse me that spam, but unfortunately turns out I am not able to respond to your PMs as long as I do not have at least 15 posts sent.


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## Calpan1832 (Oct 19, 2013)

Orchis said:


> @_Calpan1832_
> Excuse me that spam, but unfortunately turns out I am not able to respond to your PMs as long as I do not have at least 15 posts sent.


Its ok.


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## cannamella (Mar 25, 2014)

Been there and done that. I'm female btw. And you're right about that. It doesn't matter you two are not together as long as you are okay. I mean, I was there for the sake of letting him know so that I felt free from whatever was going on in my mind. I want to say congratulations if you feel the way I felt.


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## Calpan1832 (Oct 19, 2013)

dyeats said:


> Been there and done that. I'm female btw. And you're right about that. It doesn't matter you two are not together as long as you are okay. I mean, I was there for the sake of letting him know so that I felt free from whatever was going on in my mind. I want to say congratulations if you feel the way I felt.


I am happy since I realized what I was denying for a very long time, and now a little scared too.


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## Calpan1832 (Oct 19, 2013)

dyeats said:


> Been there and done that. I'm female btw. And you're right about that. It doesn't matter you two are not together as long as you are okay. I mean, I was there for the sake of letting him know so that I felt free from whatever was going on in my mind. I want to say congratulations if you feel the way I felt.







Was believing this before. Is it really not worth it? Why I trusted? 
Why I am so immature


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## cannamella (Mar 25, 2014)

Calpan1832 said:


> Was believing this before. Is it really not worth it? Why I trusted?
> Why I am so immature


The first question is so typical lol. I'm still struggling with this kind of thing too. Related to the video you mean.... Not giving up for something you don't know whether or not it's worth it? Well, things take time to find out. And try to think of what you've done. To what extent? Maybe what you've done was something for you but uhh nothing for her so that she couldn't grasp your idea? Perhaps, you want to make her understand how hard it is for you to rationalize this feeling. Like, even if you say that you love her and yeah she will know but will she really understand the whole thing?

Why did you trust it? I don't know. Based on my experience, I just knew that it wouldn't work out but I couldn't hold it any longer. My intention was purely to let him know. That's it. You won't believe what happened to me back then lol.

Why are you so immature? In my opinion, you're not. Which part of liking someone that makes you immature? Unless... She feels disturbed or something destructive harms her which indicates your obsession leading to immaturity.

All in all, I don't know about you though. If I may suggest, I guess... Enjoy it. I don't mean that you have to stop thinking. For God's sake, that is stupid. Sometimes it is not difficult to think of something not worth it but in reality you actually don't really try to make it worth it. Balance between think and do... This part is pretty tricky, at least to me.


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