# Psychological Profiles of Bullies



## Blue Butterfly (Sep 19, 2009)

_Vijai P. Sharma, Ph.D_ 

Until I began to search literature on bullying, I used to think that an average class, at the most, has one or two bullies. I was wrong. In fact, a class of the size of thirty children, on average, have four to five bullies. Psychological studies on middle school children show that fifteen percent of middle schoolers act as bullies one time or the other. Who falls in that fifteen percent category? What do we know about them? How can we control bullying at school and help bullies themselves shun bullying? To answer such questions, experts are asking what aspects of their personal background shapes bullying behavior. Experts are attempting to answer why some children want to dominate or intimidate their peers as opposed to winning and influencing their peers with qualities, such as charisma, humor, assistance, and cooperation, 
A study conducted by The Center for Adolescent Studies at Indiana University, on five hundred and fifty-eight 6th to 8th- graders, offers some interesting insights. The study compared bullying children and non-bullying children regarding their home environment and personal behaviors. Here are the salient findings about bullies: 
1. They watch more violent TV at home. 
2. They misbehave at home more frequently. 
3. They spend less time with adults at home. 
4. At home, when they are disciplined, they face more forceful parental discipline. 
5. Bullies have fewer positive adult role models. Perhaps, they don't get adequate opportunity for watching a lot of adults in their environments trying to win friends and influence people through communication, persuasion, or negotiation. Consequently, they don't get adequate opportunity to role model for ideal social skills. 
6. Likewise, bullies have fewer positive peer influences. Perhaps, the peers with whom bullies identify are also trying to dominate others by fear and coercion. 
7. Bullies also get into more fights. 
The researchers in this study also identified children who were "high-scale bullies;" based on behaviors such as, hitting, hurting, and humiliating other children. Following observations resulted from the analysis of the family and social environment of high-scale bullies: 
1. Thirty-six percent of them came from single-parent homes. 
2. Another thirty-two percent had step-parents. 
3. They had easier access to guns. 
4. They had more exposure to gang activities. 
Looking at the above information in another way, less than one-third of the high-scale bullies lived with both their natural parents. More than one third did not have both parents living under the same roof with the child. Beside the lack of two-parent rearing, many children are exposed to abuse. Kathryn Jens, a school psychologist from Denver, says that fifty percent of bullies come from an abusive environment. They simply hand out to others what they personally receive. 
All bullies are not alike. While some are defiant, impulsive, and hungry for domination and power, some just want to connect with others. Unfortunately, not knowing any better, they do it in an unhealthy way.  Often, high scale bullies have "lieutenants." Lieutenants don't bully others until the main bully is present; they seek approval of a parent-figure, however distorted that may be from our point of view.


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## Blue Butterfly (Sep 19, 2009)

Constant criticism, nit-picking, no empathy, control freak, denial, charm, glib, compulsive liar, devious, manipulative? Read this​*The serial bully​
How to spot signs and symptoms of serial bullies, sociopaths and psychopaths
including the sociopathic behaviour of the industrial psychopath and the corporate psychopath​​*​​​​​*Types of serial bully**: **The Attention-Seeker**, **The Wannabe**, **The Guru** and **The Sociopath*​*
*_"All cruelty springs from weakness."​_
(Seneca, 4BC-AD65)​_"Most organisations have a serial bully. It never ceases to amaze me how one person's divisive, disordered, dysfunctional behaviour can permeate the entire organisation like a cancer."​_
Tim Field​_"The truth is incontrovertible; malice may attack it, ignorance my deride it, but in the end, there it is."​_
Winston Churchill​_"Lack of knowledge of, or unwillingness to recognise, or outright denial of the existence of the serial bully is the most common reason for an unsatisfactory outcome of a bullying case for both the employee and employer"​_
Tim Field​I estimate one person in thirty, male or female, is a serial bully. Who does the following profile describe in your life?
The serial bully: 
is a *convincing,* *practised liar* and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment 
has a *Jekyll and Hyde nature* - is vile, vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature - only the current target of the serial bully's aggression sees both sides; whilst the Jekyll side is described as "charming" and convincing enough to deceive personnel, management and a tribunal, the Hyde side is frequently described as "evil"; Hyde is the real person, Jekyll is an act 
excels at *deception* and should never be underestimated in their capacity to deceive 
uses excessive *charm* and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superiors or others are present (charm can be used to deceive as well as to cover for lack of empathy) 
is *glib, shallow and superficial* with plenty of fine words and lots of form - but there's no substance 
is possessed of an *exceptional verbal facility* and will outmanoeuvre most people in verbal interaction, especially at times of conflict 
is often described as *smooth*, *slippery, slimy, ingratiating, fawning, toadying, obsequious, sycophantic* 
relies on *mimicry, repetition* and *regurgitation* to convince others that he or she is both a "normal" human being and a tough dynamic manager, as in extolling the virtues of the latest management fads and pouring forth the accompanying jargon 
is unusually skilled in *being able to anticipate what people want to hear* and then saying it plausibly 
*cannot be trusted or relied upon* 
*fails to fulfil commitments* 
is *emotionally retarded* with an *arrested level of emotional development*; whilst language and intellect may appear to be that of an adult, the bully displays the emotional age of a five-year-old 
is *emotionally immature* and *emotionally untrustworthy* 
exhibits *unusual and inappropriate attitudes to sexual matters, sexual behaviour and bodily functions*; underneath the charming exterior there are often suspicions or hints of sex discrimination and sexual harassment, perhaps also sexual dysfunction, sexual inadequacy, sexual perversion, sexual violence or sexual abuse 
in a relationship, is *incapable of initiating or sustaining intimacy* 
*holds deep prejudices* (eg against the opposite gender, people of a different sexual orientation, other cultures and religious beliefs, foreigners, etc - prejudiced people are unvaryingly unimaginative) but goes to great lengths to keep this prejudicial aspect of their personality secret 
is *self-opinionated* and displays *arrogance*, *audacity, a superior sense of entitlement* and sense of *invulnerability* and *untouchability* 
has a deep-seated *contempt of clients* in contrast to his or her professed compassion 
is a *control freak* and has a *compulsive need to control* everyone and everything you say, do, think and believe; for example, will launch an immediate personal attack attempting to restrict what you are permitted to say if you start talking knowledgeably about psychopathic personality or antisocial personality disorder in their presence - but aggressively maintains the right to talk (usually unknowledgeably) about anything they choose; serial bullies despise anyone who enables others to see through their deception and their mask of sanity 
displays a *compulsive need to criticise* whilst simultaneously *refusing to value*, praise and acknowledge others, their achievements, or their existence 
*shows a lack of joined-up thinking* with conversation that doesn't flow and arguments that don't hold water 
*flits from topic to topic* so that you come away feeling you've never had a proper conversation 
*refuses to be specific* and *never gives a straight answer* 
is *evasive* and has a Houdini-like ability to *escape accountability* 
*undermines* and *destroys* anyone who the bully perceives to be an adversary, a potential threat, or who can see through the bully's mask 
is *adept at creating conflict *between those who would otherwise collate incriminating information about them 
is *quick to discredit and neutralise* anyone who can talk knowledgeably about antisocial or sociopathic behaviors 
may pursue a *vindictive vendetta* against anyone who dares to held them accountable, perhaps using others' resources and contemptuous of the damage caused to other people and organisations in pursuance of the vendetta 
is also *quick to belittle, undermine, denigrate and discredit* anyone who calls, attempts to call, or might call the bully to account 
*gains gratification from denying people what they are entitled to* 
is *highly manipulative*, especially of people's perceptions and emotions (eg guilt) 
*poisons peoples' minds* by manipulating their perceptions 
when called upon to share or address the needs and concerns of others, responds with *impatience, irritability and aggression* 
*is arrogant, haughty, high-handed*, and *a know-all* 
often has an overwhelming, unhealthy and narcissistic *attention-seeking need to portray themselves as a wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate person*, in contrast to their behaviour and treatment of others; the bully sees nothing wrong with their behavior and chooses to remain oblivious to the discrepancy between how they like to be seen and how they are seen by others 
is *spiritually dead* although may loudly profess some religious belief or affiliation 
is *mean-spirited*, *officious*, and often *unbelievably petty* 
is *mean, stingy*, and *financially untrustworthy* 
is *greedy, selfish, *a *parasite *and an *emotional vampire* 
is *always a taker *and *never a giver* 
is convinced of their *superiority* and has an *overbearing belief in their qualities of leadership* but cannot distinguish between leadership (maturity, decisiveness, assertiveness, co-operation, trust, integrity) and bullying (immaturity, impulsiveness, aggression, manipulation, distrust, deceitfulness) 
often *fraudulently claims* qualifications, experience, titles, entitlements or affiliations which are ambiguous, misleading, or bogus 
often *misses the semantic meaning of language*, misinterprets what is said, sometimes wrongly thinking that comments of a satirical, ironic or general negative nature apply to him or herself 
*knows the words but not the song* 
is *constantly imposing on others a false reality* made up of distortion and fabrication 
sometimes *displays a seemingly limitless demonic energy* especially when engaged in attention-seeking activities or evasion of accountability and is often a *committeeaholic* or apparent *workaholic* 
*Responsibility
*The serial bully appears to lack insight into his or her behaviour and seems to be oblivious to the crassness and inappropriateness thereof; however, it is more likely that the bully knows what they are doing but elects to switch off the moral and ethical considerations by which normal people are bound. If the bully knows what they are doing, they are responsible for their behaviour and thus liable for its consequences to other people. If the bully doesn't know what they are doing, they should be suspended from duty on the grounds of diminished responsibility and the provisions of the Mental Health Act should apply.
The focus of this page is the serial bully in the workplace, however, the profile is relevant to most types of abusers, including: 
adult bullies in the workplace 
abusive and violent partners and family members 
abusers of those in care 
bullying neighbours, landlords, authorities, etc 
con artists and swindlers 
cult leaders 
child bullies who are going to grow up (sic) to be adult bullies 
racial and sexual harassers 
sexual abusers and paedophiles 
stalkers 
arsonists 
rapists and those who commit acts of sexual violence 
violent offenders including organized serial killers (ie those not suffering paranoid schizophrenia etc) 
Anecdotal evidence indicates that the serial bully in the workplace is also a serial bully at home and in the community.
The common objective of these offenders is *power*, *control*, *domination* and *subjugation*. What varies is the means by which these are pursued, ie the way in which violence is expressed. Most of the offenders in the list above commit criminal or arrestable offences; the serial bully commits mostly non-arrestable offences, for example: 
negligence 
incompetence 
maladministration 
neglect of duty 
dereliction of duty 
misappropriation of budgets 
financial irregularities and fiddling the books 
fiddling expenses 
falsifying time sheets 
pilfering 
stealing, diverting, skimming, or "losing" clients' money and investments 
embezzlement 
fraud 
deception 
malpractice 
misrepresentation 
conspiracy (eg to obstruct or pervert the course of justice) 
using the employer's resources to run their own business on the side 
moonlighting for employer's clients or competitors 
leaking information to people who should not be in possession of that information 
awarding contracts to family and friends 
failure to fulfil obligations 
breaches of health and safety regulations 
breaches of rules and regulations 
breaches of codes of conduct 
improper use of fraternal allegiances 
indiscretions 
impropriety 
inappropriate sexual conduct 
being the target of previous grievance and disciplinary action 
being the target of previous legal action (unfair dismissal, harassment, personal injury, etc) 
fraudulent qualifications and misleading or bogus claims of professional affiliation (check the bully's CV carefully) [More] 
collusion 
corruption 
being sacked or asked to leave their previous job(s) 
recruitment through nepotism or favouritism rather than ability 
extra-marital affairs - see below 
at home: poor credit rating, verbal abuse, domestic abuse, neglect, abandonment 
Most cases of bullying involve a serial bully - one person to whom all the dysfunction can be traced. The serial bully has done this before, is doing it now - and will do it again. Investigation will reveal a string of predecessors who have either left unexpectedly or in suspicious circumstances, have taken early or ill-health retirement, have been unfairly dismissed, have been involved in disciplinary or legal action, or have had stress breakdowns. Serial bullies exploit the recent frenzy of downsizing and reorganisation to hinder recognition of the _pattern_ of previous cases.
The serial bully in the workplace is often found in a job which is a position of power, has a high administrative or procedural content but little or no creative requirement, and which provides opportunities for demonstrating a "caring" or "leadership" nature.
*Introduction to the serial bully
*Embittered by an abusive upbringing, seething with resentment, irritated by others' failure to fulfil his or her superior sense of entitlement, and fuelled by anger resulting from rejection, the serial bully displays an obsessive, compulsive and self-gratifying urge to displace their uncontrolled aggression onto others whilst exhibiting an apparent lack of insight into their behavior and its effect on people around them. Jealousy and envy motivate the bully to identify a competent and popular individual who is then controlled and subjugated through projection of the bully's own inadequacy and incompetence. When the target asserts their right not to be bullied, a paranoid fear of exposure compels the bully to perceive that person as a threat and hence neutralise and dispose of them as quickly as possible. Once a person has been eliminated there's an interval of between 2 days and 2 weeks before the bully chooses another target and the cycle starts again.
*Detailed profile of the serial bully
*The serial bully also: 
is selfish and acts out of self-interest, self-aggrandisement and self-preservation at all times; everything can be traced back to the self - even the seemingly innocuous _"How are you today?"_ translates to _"Is there any comeback on me as to how you're feeling today?"_ 
is insensitive, often callously indifferent to the needs of others, and especially when others are experiencing difficulty (vulnerability is a major stimulant to the serial bully) 
is incapable of reciprocity, ie unable and unwilling to reciprocate any positive gesture 
sees anyone attempting to be conciliatory as a sucker to be exploited 
uses criticism, humiliation, etc in the guise of addressing shortfalls in performance - in reality, these are for control and subjugation, _not_ for performance enhancement 
appears to be intelligent but often performs poorly in academic or professional roles, despite appearances; the intelligence is focused exclusively on deviousness, cunning, scheming, manipulation, evasiveness, deceptiveness, quick-wittedness, craftiness, self-centredness, etc 
may be passive aggressive, blowing hot and cold, superficially cooperative but motivated by retribution, stubborn, uncoachable, use their intelligence to excuse and justify their behaviour, and they detest anyone more competent than themselves - which is most people 
is unable to maintain confidentiality, often breaching it with misrepresentation, distortion and fabrication 
distorts, twists, concocts and fabricates criticisms and allegations, and abuses the disciplinary procedures - again, for control and subjugation, _not_ for performance enhancement 
uses gossip, back-stabbing or spreads rumours to undermine, discredit and isolate 
is untrustworthy and unable to trust others - this partly explains the compulsion for excessive monitoring 
is drawn to positions of power and abuses that power 
alters the employer's procedures to make it difficult or impossible for others to hold the bully accountable using those procedures 
is autocratic and dictatorial, often using phrases like "you shouldn't..." or "you ought to..." 
may appear superficially competent and professional at their job, but behind the facade is inadequate, inept, poor at their job, often incompetent; survives only by plagiarising other people's work, and being carried by those they bully 
wraps himself or herself in a flag or tradition and usurps others' objectives, thereby nurturing compliance, reverence, deference, endorsement and obeisance; however, such veneration and allegiance is divisive, being a corruption for personal power which exhibits itself through the establishment of a clique, coterie, cabal, faction, or gang 
is a divisive and disruptive influence, their departments are dysfunctional and inefficient, and their behavior prevents staff from performing their duties 
is unusually susceptible to minor slights or perceived slights and bears grudges which may be acted on years later when the transgressor can be denied promotion or downsized in the bully's "reorganisation" 
gains gratification from provoking people into emotional or irrational responses but is quick to claim provocation by others when challenged 
has a short-term focus and often cannot think or plan ahead more than 24 hours 
appears to have a short, selective memory and often cannot or will not remember what they said, did, or committed to more than 24 hours ago - but is always able to remember your faults, often from years ago 
the serial bully seems to live in a bubble of the present and when challenged will spontaneously make things up; the bully genuinely seems to believe the fabrication; from a psychiatric viewpoint this could be called confabulation; from a moral viewpoint, it's called lying 
is often like a child who has never grown up 
exhibits immature behaviour and poor manners 
has poor communication skills, poor interpersonal skills, poor social skills 
often misses social cues 
has poor language skills, and uses almost exclusively negative language with few or no positive words; is often limited to parroting fad phrases and regurgitating the latest management jargon 
has poorly-defined moral and ethical boundaries 
acts out of gratification and self-interest only, often using and hiding behind the employer 
extrovert bullies tend to be shouters and screamers, are highly visible, and bully from the front 
extrovert bullies can be charismatic and seem to be able to bewitch people into following and supporting them 
introvert bullies - the most dangerous types - tend to sit in the background and recruit others to do the bullying for them - when dealing with this type of bullying, identify the arch-bully in the background and focus single-mindedly on that person - the others will melt away 
is a killjoy, a wet blanket, is unreceptive and finds fault with or pours scorn on other people's ideas and suggestions, but may regurgitate them later claiming to be the originator 
often has a hatred of a sector of society, eg ethnic minorities, disabled people, etc 
often has a hatred of certain professional groups, eg psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, counsellors, therapists 
is unimaginative and lacks the skills of creativity and innovation 
rarely has any ideas of his or her own; tends to regurgitate what others (especially superiors) say rather than use own thinking 
is a plagiarist, steals other people's work - and the credit for it 
has a writing style that is disjointed, lacks flow and consistency, tends to make contradictory statements, and has the feel of a young teenager trying to write like a grown-up (apologies to teenagers) 
often uses false praise or praise which is inappropriate to the circumstances; this is partly to make the bully feel good, partly for the benefit of witnesses, partly poor judgement, partly immaturity, and partly for control and subjugation to throw their target off guard 
is unable and unwilling to value others and their contributions and achievements; is often scornful 
shows discrepancy in valuing tasks, deliberately devaluing the work and achievements of others; when the bully does a certain job, it's onerous, difficult and the bully needs lots of recognition; when their target does the same job it's trivial, of little or no value, not worth mentioning 
is ungrateful and rarely (if ever) says "thank you" or "well done" (except, perhaps, if impressionable witnesses are present) 
is frequently sarcastic, especially in contexts where sarcasm is inappropriate and unprofessional 
is unable to assess the importance of events and tasks, often making an unnecessary fuss over trivia whilst ignoring important or urgent things 
exhibits duplicity and hypocrisy, eg says one thing one day and denies it the next 
often has an overwhelming (and unhealthy) need to feel recognised and wanted 
is fastidious, often has an unhealthy obsession with cleanliness or orderliness 
is insincere and false 
has never learnt the skills of and has little concept of empathy; may use charm and mimicry to compensate 
attempts at empathy are superficial, amateur, often inappropriate or inappropriately high, and based on mimicry rather than genuine concern - and are for the purpose of making the bully look and feel good, especially in front of witnesses 
when required to show empathy, eg someone is in distress or needs help, responds either with impatience and aggression (if no-one else is present), or with a fulsome and effusive attempt at empathy (if witnesses are present) 
is unwilling to apologise for mistakes, except occasionally when witnesses are present, then the apology is fulsome, artificial, and inappropriate - but sufficiently convincing for peers and superiors 
is quick to blame others 
is uncharacteristically fulsome and effusive, especially in front of witnesses - but hollow and insincere 
is devious and manipulative (especially female bullies) 
is spiteful and vengeful (ditto) 
uses aggression almost exclusively but claims to be assertive (assertiveness is about recognising and respecting the rights of oneself and others) 
has unpredictable mood swings, blows hot and cold, often suddenly and without warning 
is inconsistent in their judgement, often overruling, ignoring or denying what they said previously 
is inflexible and unable to evaluate options and alternatives 
is unforgiving and often seizes on and exploits others' mistakes or perceived mistakes 
is financially irresponsible and often has a bad credit rating 
has a cavalier attitude to Health and Safety 
is quick to anger and often has an unpredictable temper 
can be unpredictably and disarmingly pleasant, especially when you are unmasking them in front others - this plays on people's sympathies and is a use of guilt for manipulation and control 
is often humourless and emotionally flat; attempts at humour are often shallow and superficial 
is insecure and sees others as a threat; the threat seems to comprise a fear of exposure of inadequacy, and often borders on paranoia; the individual may have a paranoid personality 
is uncommunicative and uncooperative, and is evasive when asked for information (eg by subordinates) 
for communication, often relies excessively or exclusively on memos, emails, yellow stickies, or third parties and other strategies for avoiding face-to-face contact 
has no listening skills, ignores and overrules you; it can be like talking to a brick wall 
displays inappropriate and hostile body language 
makes inappropriate eye contact, either too little (or none at all) or too much (staring) 
often reported as having an evil stare, sometimes with eyes that appear black rather than coloured 
is unable to sustain a mature adult conversation (you may only realise this in retrospect) 
sees people as objects (in the same way that child sex abusers and rapists see their targets as objects for their gratification) 
often displays interpersonal behavior that is ill-advised, especially with a sexual overtone, eg invasion of intimate zone, gestures or comments which include inappropriate sexual references or innuendo, being inappropriately intimate with clients, being too friendly too soon, etc 
is incapable of intimacy 
lacks a conscience and shows no remorse 
displays excessive and rigid adherence to procedures, rules, regulations etc, usually as a cover for lack of creativity; their work is largely bureaucratic in nature and obedience of orders from above is a priority 
finds ritual important and comforting, and frequently indulges in ritual and ritualistic activity 
often forms or joins lots of committees to look busy and important but never achieves anything of significance or value 
when called upon to exercise judgement, relies on and insists on rigid adherence to procedures and rules (this is an abdication of responsibility and an admission of inability to manage) 
gains gratification from bullying people by imposing rules, regulations, laws etc and insisting on adherence thereto, regardless of their relevance or efficacy 
often exhibits a psychopathic personality, the main features of which are: 
an unwillingness to conform to the rules of society: thinks that rules, regulations, procedures and the law do not apply to them - but insists that others adhere rigidly 
an inability to tolerate minor frustrations 
a tendency to act impulsively, recklessly and randomly 
an inability to form stable relationships (the bully's private life is usually a mess) 
an inability or unwillingness to learn from past experience, however unpleasant - this "learning blindness" is a key feature of the serial bully and differentiates the serial bully from the unwitting bully; this inability to learn seems to be concentrated in the area of interpersonal, social, communication and behavioural skills; closer inspection suggests that the bully does learn from experience, but only how be more secretive and how to be more skilled at evading accountability 
Other adjectives to describe the serial bully include cunning, conniving, scheming, calculating, cruel, sadistic, ruthless, treacherous, premeditated, exploitative, pernicious, malevolent, obnoxious, opportunist, unconcerned, etc.
The lack of interpersonal, social, and empathic skills are reminiscent of autism; the serial bully relies almost entirely on rules, procedures, aggression, denial and mimicry to hide their lack of people skills. Psychopaths and sociopaths are often excellent actors and mimics.
Most people with this profile are incompetent at their job and the bullying is intended to hide this incompetence. However, a few recent cases suggest that some serial bullies (especially the quiet ones): 
are good at carrying out rule-based or procedurally-oriented jobs which require no free thinking or imagination; these people fall down when required to step outside this role, eg dealing with people 
(especially males) excel in one area of work (usually scientific in nature) and may be regarded as the leading authority in their field but are lacking in almost every other respect, especially in interpersonal skills (this is reminiscent of savant syndrome); they also tend to be physically aggressive and may have a reputation for sexual harassment 
*New! Serial bully types
*Attention-Seeker | Wannabe | Guru | Sociopath
The profile above covers the most commonly-reported behaviours of serial bullies. From casework I've been able to identify four primary types of serial bully:
*The Attention-Seeker
*Motivation: to be the centre of attention
Mindset: control freak, manipulation, narcissism
Malice: medium to high; when held accountable, very high
emotionally immature 
selectively friendly - is sickly sweet to some people, rude and offhand to others, and ignores the rest 
is cold and aggressive towards anyone who sees them for what they really are or exposes their strategies for gaining attention 
overfriendly with their new target, especially in the initial stages of a new working relationship 
overhelpful, ditto 
overgenerous, ditto 
manipulative of people's perceptions, but in an amateur and childish manner 
manipulative with guilt, ditto 
sycophantic, fawning, toadying 
uses flattery to keep a person in authority on side 
everything is a drama, usually a poor-me drama 
prefers not to solve problems in own life so that they can be used and re-used for gaining sympathy and attention 
capitalises on issues and uses them as a soapbox for gaining attention 
exploits others' suffering and grief as a vehicle for gaining attention 
misappropriates others' statements, eg anything which can be misconstrued as politically incorrect, for control and attention-seeking 
excusitis, makes excuses for everything 
shows a lot of indignation, especially when challenged 
lots of self-pity 
often as miserable as sin, apart from carefully constructed moments of charm when in the act of deceiving 
demanding of others 
easily provoked 
feigns victimhood when held accountable, usually by bursting into tears or claiming they're the one being bullied and harassed 
presents as a false victim when outwitted 
may feign exclusion, isolation or persecution 
malicious 
constantly tries and will do almost anything to be in the spotlight 
includes Munchausen Syndrome 
the focus of their life is to be the centre of attention 
*The Wannabe
*Motivation: craves respect for being competent and professional despite lacking in competence and professionalism
Mindset: deceptive
Malice: low to medium; when held accountable, medium to high
similar to the attention-seeker 
is one of life's chronic underperformers and is best described as ineffectual in everything 
craves undeserved respect and attention and will go to considerable lengths to acquire them 
hangs around the fringes of a profession 
not professionally qualified but claims they are a professional because they sit next to a professional or work alongside or near or in the midst of professionals, or provide services to professionals 
lacks the ability, competence and professionalism to be a qualified professional 
wants so much to be seen as competent professional person but is unable and unwilling to put in the work to achieve this 
is unable and unwilling to apply knowledge gained from experience but instead devotes time and effort to improving skills of deception, manipulation, false claim, denial and projection 
may have been rejected by their chosen profession for lack of competence 
is spiteful towards and despises anyone who is qualified in the profession from which the bully has been excluded by virtue of lack of competence 
is likely to be vilifying the profession they want to belong to or which they're claiming to be part of or which they are claiming to represent 
displays a deep-seated envy and jealousy of the professionals that he or she works alongside or claims to serve 
harbours a bitter resentment, grudge, distaste and contempt for the professionals that he or she works alongside or claims to serve 
is likely to be criticising, condemning, disadvantaging and causing detriment to the professionals he or she works alongside or claims to serve 
may seek positions of power over the professionals he or she works alongside or claims to serve, perhaps to facilitate a compulsion to criticise, condemn, disadvantage and cause detriment 
is irresistibly drawn to organisations, roles and positions which offer the wannabe power and control over the professionals s/he despises (eg inspection regimes, approval roles, regulatory bodies, ticksheet compliance schemes, political correctness police, trade union official, etc) - and is often described as a talentless jobsworth 
when in a position of power associates with and makes alliances with or surrounds him or herself with clones, drones, minions, fellow wannabes, sycophants and brown-nosers 
instinctively objects to any suggestion of change, reform, improvement, progress or evolution, but has no viable or positive alternatives of their own 
opposes every idea, suggestion, opinion, contribution or reform on principle but has no original, positive, constructive ideas or contributions of his or her own 
is likely to plagiarise and steal others' ideas which are then put forward as their own 
may place undue emphasis or reliance on an old, minor or irrelevant qualification to bolster their claim of belonging to or deserving to belong to a profession 
may claim ambiguous or misleading or bogus or fraudulent qualifications, associations and experience 
displays a superior sense of entitlement because they associate with or serve higher performers 
emotionally immature 
controlling 
easily provoked 
when challenged is adept at rewriting history to portray themselves as competent, professional and successful, regardless of multiple witnesses and overwhelming evidence to the contrary 
quickly and loudly feigns victimhood when exposed and held accountable, often repeatedly and loudly accusing the person holding them accountable of being a bully 
when held accountable makes conflicting and contradictory threats and demands (eg demands apology but orders the other person not to communicate with them) 
when held accountable makes lots of loud but empty threats (eg of legal action such as libel, slander, defamation etc) 
only carries out threats of legal action when in the presence of a superior serial bully, especially a sociopath type 
may indulge their jealousy and envy of professionals or those they claim to serve by pursuing vindictive vendettas, sometimes with the help of a superior serial bully, especially a sociopath type 
is easily manipulated and controlled by a superior serial bully 
female wannabes may be arch bullies (some people might call them puppetmasters or queen bees) 
may surround herself with drones of the opposite sex 
may exploit some perceived vulnerability in self to ensure drone loyalty 
gives the appearance of loyalty to drones but will discard them when they've served their purpose 
is likely to have affairs to gain power, status or position 
*The Guru
*Motivation: task focused
Mindset: confusion, inability to understand how others think and feel
Malice: zero to low; when held accountable, low to medium (it's often the absence of malice that identifies a guru type of serial bully) but could be medium to high if narcissistic or psychopathic traits are present
often successful in their narrow field of expertise 
regarded as an expert 
valued by the employer because s/he brings in the money, status etc 
ruthlessly pursues objectives regardless of the cost 
ruthless determination to succeed 
can be successful over the medium term in their field 
task focused 
zero people skills 
control freak 
mainly but not exclusively male 
often has a favourite who receives extra attention but who is expected to reciprocate with sycophancy 
favours, protects and promotes non-threatening sycophants whilst marginalizing and hindering the advancement of those with higher levels of competence, especially in people skills 
apt to betray those formerly favoured, especially when the favoured person starts to show independence of thought or action, or starts to receive more attention or become more popular than their mentor 
a male Guru in a position of power may exhibit inappropriate sexual conduct 
gauche, aggressive and unpleasant but not evil 
may not be overtly attention-seeking but dislikes those around them getting more attention than they're getting, or getting attention which doesn't include the bully 
selfish, self-centred, self-opinionated, dogmatic and thoughtless and with a tendency to pontificate 
apt to throw temper tantrums when things don't go well or can't get their own way 
emotionally immature, perhaps emotionless, sometimes cold and frigid 
convincingly intellectualises feelings to compensate for emotional immaturity 
intelligent (often highly) but lacks common sense 
is happy to lie to suit own purposes 
can have a rigid routine 
does not accept responsibility for their own behavior 
blames others for own inadequacies 
refuses to recognise that they could have any shortcomings of their own 
does not live in the present 
usually extremely neat (for example, desk is always clear) 
organized (sometimes overly) 
tempts fate but always gets away with it 
has stereotypical ideas about gender roles (though this may not be expressed consciously) 
makes assumptions about others' thoughts 
does not follow social rules, for example may display bad table manners in public 
appears unable and unwilling to engage in and sustain small talk 
seems unaware of the nature and purpose of rapport 
seems to exhibit some symptoms similar to autism, although autistic people tend to be shy, introspective and lack manipulative skills and are usually the targets of bullying, not the perpetrators (it's unknown whether there might be a common cause or whether the similarities are just a superficial coincidence) [more on autism] 
appears unable to read people and their thoughts and especially feelings 
when held accountable exhibits genuine confusion as to why their behaviour is inappropriate 
in cases where malice is low or absent the person my be regarded as somewhat avuncular or mildly jovial or charismatic in nature 
likes the appearance of normalcy but rejects responsibilities of relationships 
is unable to comprehend or meet the emotional needs of others 
often puts work and duty above everything, including relationships 
makes power plays, for example leaves the room when someone is speaking, or pretends not to hear and constantly asking a person to repeat what they just said, etc 
doesn't share information about self (thoughts, insights, etc) and is not open to receiving this type of information from others (allegedly knows it all already) 
secretive 
possessive of objects and sometimes people 
may view people as objects (this enables controlling behaviour of other people) 
thinks of self as superior and above the law / rules / regulations etc (these only apply to other people) 
uses denial as a defence mechanism 
there are likely to be problems with succession 
*The Socialised Psychopath or Sociopath
*Also known as the corporate psychopath, workplace psychopath, industrial psychopath and administrative psychopath.
Motivation: power, gratification, personal gain, survival
Mindset: manipulation, deception, evil
Malice: high to very high; when held accountable, off the scale
Jekyll & Hyde personality 
always charming and beguilingly plausible, especially to those who are capable of protecting or enhancing the sociopath's position 
excels at deception (this must never be underestimated, but always is) 
excels at evasion of accountability 
is extremely and successfully manipulative of people's perceptions and emotions (eg guilt and anger) 
silver-tongued, has an extreme verbal facility and can outwit anybody (including a top barrister) in verbal conflict 
will often engineer himself or herself into a position of authority as gatekeeper of the organisation and thus the person through whom all information must flow, and the person to whom all requests for services must be referred - which he or she then takes delight in denying 
is adept at offering weak and inadequate people the positions of power, control, security, influence or respect that they crave but who lack the necessary competencies to achieve - such people are unaware that their consequent dependence on the sociopath makes them permanent manipulatees, pawns and expendable agents of harassment 
identifies those essential to the sociopath's survival and manipulates their perceptions them by making them feel special and thus obligated to reciprocate with support and protection 
manipulates others into making fools of themselves in situations where they cannot back down or from which they cannot withdraw - these people become increasingly susceptible to further manipulation and are then trapped as pawns in the sociopath's game 
is likely to be surrounded by people who, having been subjected to control, manipulation and punishment by the sociopath, look wretched and who start to exhibit behaviour best described as disordered, dysfunctional, sullen, aggressive, defensive, hostile, retaliatory, counterproductive or cult-like and for whom disbelief, disavowal and denial are instinctive responses 
creates an environment where levels of denial are so great that those involved are oblivious of the foolishness and self-evident absurdity of their denials when presented with the facts, with the result that non-involved observers are led to question whether such levels of denial merit psychiatric intervention 
is contemptuous of disrepute to their organisation and of collateral damage and of the destructive consequences for all direct and indirect parties 
is always surrounded by and leaves behind a trail of dysfunctional organisations, destroyed businesses, ruined careers, stress breakdowns and unexplained suicides 
despite a trail of devastation to individuals, organisations, families and communities, the actions of a socialised psychopath may go undetected or unrecognised for years 
a history of conducting frivolous, vexatious and malicious legal actions, especially (but not exclusively) against anyone who can recognise the sociopath for what he is 
only after the sociopath is exposed and relieved of position, or they move on, can the full depth of their destructive behaviour be fathomed and the consequences calculated 
is skilled at identifying, undermining, discrediting, neutralising and destroying anyone who can see through the sociopath's mask of sanity 
at all times restricts the actions and rights of others (especially those holding the sociopath accountable) whilst aggressively protecting his or her right to do anything without being hampered by social norms or legal requirements 
pursues endless vindictive vendettas against anyone perceived as a threat or who attempts, knowingly or unknowingly, to identify or reveal or expose the sociopath, or who makes efforts to hold the sociopath accountable 
is adept at appropriating rules, regulations, procedures and law to manipulate, control and punish accusers regardless of relevance, logic, facts or consequences 
persists in and pursues vindictive vendettas using self-evidently false evidence or information, even after this is brought to the attention of the sociopath 
will often manipulate minor bullies of the Wannabe type (who on their own might or would not merit the label 'serial bully') into acting as agents of harassment and as unwitting or unwilling conductors of vendettas 
is adept at placing people in situations where the sociopath can tap into each person's instinctive urge to retaliate in order to use them as his or her instruments or agents of harassment 
gains gratification from provoking others into engaging in adversarial conflict 
once conflict has been initiated, the sociopath gains increased gratification by exploiting human beings' instinctive need to retaliate - this is achieved by encouraging and escalating peoples' adversarial conflicts into mutually assured destruction 
revels in the gratification gained from seeing or causing other people's distress 
when faced with accountability or unwelcome attention which might lead to others discerning the sociopath's true nature, responds with repeated and escalating attempts to control, manipulate and punish 
is adept at reflecting all accusations and attempts at accountability back onto their accusers 
is adept at creating conflict between those who would otherwise pool negative information about the sociopath 
has no limits on his or her vindictiveness 
the need to control, manipulate and punish develops into an obsession with many of the hallmarks of an addiction 
is skilled at mimicry and can plausibly and spontaneously regurgitate all the latest management jargon 
exhibits minimal professional skill level and competency 
exploits his or her intelligence to excel at talentless mediocrity 
is always identifying the behaviours and strategies to which other people respond with the desired effect 
is able to anticipate and credibly say what people want to hear 
is easily able to win people over before betraying them or deceiving them or ripping them off 
easily manipulates and bewitches an immature or naive or vulnerable or emotionally needy person to be their spokesperson or agent of aggression 
exploits anyone who has a vulnerability 
is pushy and extremely persuasive 
is sexually inadequate and sexually abusive 
is likely to protect anyone accused of or suspected of sexual abuse of pedophile activity, and will frustrate or obstruct investigations into that person 
maybe associating with, or actively involved in, abuse or pedophile activity 
has no emotions, no emotional processing capability and no ability to understand other's emotions 
is incapable of understanding, initiating or sustaining intimacy 
the male sociopath has often convinced a string of women to feel they are in love with him and despite being treated abominably they blindly continue to be loyal to him and minister willingly to his every demand 
may start projects with apparent enthusiasm and energy but quickly loses interest 
frequently takes unnecessary and uncalculated risks but takes no account of consequences 
is reckless and untrustworthy with money 
is likely to be illegally diverting or siphoning off significant sums of money to his or her own budget, project, account or cause 
is unreliable and untrustworthy in every facet of life 
is likely to be leaking confidential information or secrets to third parties 
is likely to have committed or be committing criminal or near-criminal offences, eg fraud, embezzlement, deception 
is likely to have committed or be committing breaches of harassment and discrimination law, employment law, contract law, etc 
disregards rules, regulations, Health and Safety requirements, professional standards, codes of conduct and legal requirements, etc 
cannot comprehend the deeper semantic meaning of language and is thus unable to understand or appreciate metaphor, hyperbole, irony, satire etc (these elicit either zero response or a hostile response) 
likes, seeks, enjoys and relies on procedure, ritual and ritualistic practices 
through arrogant overconfidence takes increasingly risky chances and eventually overplays their hand or makes a mistake which leads to the sociopath revealing him or herself 
exhibits parasitical behaviour, takes everything and gives nothing 
grabs headline credit for minimal, flukey or other peoples' success whilst surviving off the backs of manipulatees who are exclusively blamed for all failures 
rarely blinks, may have stary scary eyes that cut right through you, or may avoid eye contact completely 
is callous, cold and calculating 
is devious, clever and cunning 
is ruthless in the extreme 
regards people as objects and playthings to be discarded when surplus to requirements 
displays zero empathy 
completely without conscience, remorse and guilt 
malicious and evil 
*Power over people
*The serial bully is able to exert a hold over people for a variety of reasons.
*Targets* are disempowered such that they become dependent on the bully to allow them to get through each day without their life being made hell.
The serial bully is often able to bewitch an emotionally needy *colleague* into supporting them; this person then becomes the bully's spokesperson and advocate. How people can be so easily and repeatedly taken in by the bully's glib charm, Jekyll and Hyde nature, and constant lying is a mystery. Psychopaths are especially adept at conning people in this manner.
*Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD)
*The serial bully exhibits behaviours similar to or congruent with the diagnostic criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder.
*Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
*The serial bully exhibits behaviours similar to or congruent with the diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
*Paranoid Personality Disorder (PPD)
*The serial bully exhibits behaviours similar to or congruent with the diagnostic criteria for Paranoid Personality Disorder.
*Borderline Personality Disorder
*Some visitors to *Bully OnLine* have suggested that the bullies in their lives exhibit characteristics of Borderline Personality Disorder.
*Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder
*See http://www.toad.net/~arcturus/dd/ddhome.htm
*Personality Disorders
*There's more on Personality Disorders at http://www.toad.net/~arcturus/dd/ourdesk.htm
*Avoiding acceptance of responsibility - denial, counterattack and feigning victimhood
*The serial bully is an adult on the outside but a child on the inside; he or she is like a child who has never grown up. One suspects that the bully is emotionally retarded and has a level of emotional development equivalent to a five-year-old, or less. The bully wants to enjoy the benefits of living in the adult world, but is unable and unwilling to accept the responsibilities that go with enjoying the benefits of the adult world. In short, the bully has never learnt to accept responsibility for their behaviour.
When called to account for the way they have chosen to behave, the bully instinctively exhibits this recognisable behavioural response:
a) *Denial: the bully denies everything.* Variations include Trivialization (_"This is so trivial it's not worth talking about..."_) and the Fresh Start tactic (_"I don't know why you're so intent on dwelling on the past" _and_ "Look, what's past is past, I'll overlook your behaviour and we'll start afresh"_) - this is an abdication of responsibility by the bully and an attempt to divert and distract attention by using false conciliation. Imagine if this line of defence were available to all criminals (_"Look I know I've just murdered 12 people but that's all in the past, we can't change the past, let's put it behind us, concentrate on the future so we can all get on with our lives_" - this would do wonders for prison overcrowding).

b) *Retaliation: the bully counterattacks.* The bully quickly and seamlessly follows the denial with an aggressive* counter-attack* of counter-criticism or counter-allegation, often based on distortion or fabrication. Lying, deception, duplicity, hypocrisy and blame are the hallmarks of this stage. The purpose is to avoid answering the question and thus avoid accepting responsibility for their behaviour. Often the target is tempted - or coerced - into giving another long explanation to prove the bully's allegation false; by the time the explanation is complete, everybody has forgotten the original question.
Both a) and b) are delivered with aggression in the guise of assertiveness; in fact there is no assertiveness (which is about recognising and respecting the rights of oneself and others) at all. Note that explanation - of the original question - is conspicuous by its absence.
c) *Feigning victimhood*: in the unlikely event of denial and counter-attack being insufficient, the bully *feigns victimhood* or *feigns persecution* by manipulating people through their emotions, especially guilt. This commonly takes the form of bursting into tears, which most people cannot handle. Variations include indulgent self-pity, feigning indignation, pretending to be "devastated", claiming they're the one being bullied or harassed, claiming to be "deeply offended", melodrama, martyrdom (_"If it wasn't for me..."_) and a poor-me drama (_"You don't know how hard it is for me ... blah blah blah ..."_ and _"I'm the one who always has to..."_, _"You think *you're* having a hard time ..."_, _"I'm the one being bullied..."_). Other tactics include manipulating people's perceptions to portray themselves as the injured party and the target as the villain of the piece. Or presenting as a false victim. Sometimes the bully will suddenly claim to be suffering "stress" and go off on long-term sick leave, although no-one can quite establish why. Alleged ill-health can also be a useful vehicle for gaining attention and sympathy. For suggestions on how to counter this see the advice on the FAQ page.
By using this response, the bully is able to avoid answering the question and thus avoid accepting responsibility for what they have said or done. It is a pattern of behaviour learnt by about the age of 3; most children learn or are taught to grow out of this, but some are not and by adulthood, this avoidance technique has been practised to perfection.
A further advantage of the denial/counter-attack/feigning victimhood strategy is that it acts as a provocation. The target, who may have taken months to reach this stage, sees their tormentor getting away with it and is provoked into an angry and emotional outburst after which the bully says simply "There, I told you s/he was like that". Anger is one of the mechanisms by which bullies (and all abusers) control their targets. By tapping in to and obtaining an inappropriate release of pent-up anger the bully plays their master stroke and casts their victim as villain.
When called to account for the way they have chosen to behave, mature adults do not respond by bursting into tears. If you're dealing with a serial bully who has just exhibited this avoidance tactic, sit passively and draw attention to the _pattern_ of behaviour they've just exhibited, and then the purpose of the tactic. Then ask for an answer to the question.
Bullies also rely on the denial of others and the fact that when their target reports the abuse they will be disbelieved ("_are your sure this is really going on_?", "_I find it hard to believe - are you sure you're not imagining it?_"). Frequently targets are asked why they didn't report the abuse before, and they will usually reply "_because I didn't think anyone would believe me._" Sadly they are often right in this assessment. Because of the Jekyll & Hyde nature, compulsive lying, and plausibility, no-one can - or wants - to believe it. Click here for a detailed explanation of the target's reluctance to report abuse.
Denial features in most cases of sexual assault, as in the case of Paul Hickson, the UK Olympic swimming coach who sexually assaulted and raped teenage girls in his care over a period of 20 years or more. When his victims were asked why they didn't report the abuse, most replied _"Because I didn't think anyone would believe me"_. Abusers confidently, indeed arrogantly, rely on this belief, often aggressively inculcating (instilling) the belief (_"No-one will ever believe you"_) just after the sexual assault when their victim is in a distressed state. Targets of bullying in the workplace often come up against the same attitudes by management when they report a bullying colleague. In a workplace environment, the bully usually recruits one or two colleagues (sometimes one is a sleeping partner - see Affairs below) who will back up the bully's denial when called to account.
*Reflection
*Serial bullies harbour a particular hatred of anyone who can articulate their behaviour profile, either verbally or in writing - as on this page - in a manner which helps other people see through their deception and their mask of deceit. The usual instinctive response is to launch a bitter personal attack on the person's credentials, lack of qualifications, and right to talk about personality disorders, psychopathic personality etc, whilst preserving their right to talk about anything they choose - all the while adding nothing to the debate themselves.
Serial bullies hate to see themselves and their behaviour reflected as if they are looking into a mirror.
*Projection
*Bullies project their inadequacies, shortcomings, behaviours etc on to other people to avoid facing up to their inadequacy and doing something about it (learning about oneself can be painful), and to distract and divert attention away from themselves and their inadequacies. Projection is achieved through blame, criticism and allegation; once you realise this, every criticism, allegation etc that the bully makes about their target is actually an admission or revelation about themselves. This knowledge can be used to perceive the bully's own misdemeanours; for instance, when the allegations are of financial or sexual impropriety, it is likely that the bully has committed these acts; when the bully makes an allegation of abuse (such allegations tend to be vague and non-specific), it is likely to be the bully who has committed the abuse. When the bully makes allegations of, say, "cowardice" or "negative attitude" it is the bully who is a coward or has a negative attitude.
In these circumstances, the bully has to understand that if specious and insubstantive allegations are made, the bully will also be investigated.
When the symptoms of psychiatric injury become apparent to others, most bullies will play the Mental Health Trap, claiming their target is "mentally ill" or "mentally unstable" or has a "mental health problem". It is more likely that this allegation is a projection of the bully's own mental health problems. If this trap is being used on you, assert "projection" as a defence against disciplinary action or as part of your legal proceedings.
*It is a key identifying feature of a person with a personality disorder or psychopathic personality that, when called to account, they will accuse the person who is unmasking them of being the one with the personality disorder or psychopathic personality from which they (the bully) suffer.
Affairs
*Of over 10,000 cases of bullying reported to *Bully OnLine* and the UK National Workplace Bullying Advice Line, in at least half the cases, the bully is having an affair with another member of staff. The affair has little to do with friendship, and a lot to do with strategic alliance in pursuit of power, control, domination and subjugation. In a further quarter of cases, there's often a suspected affair, and in the remaining quarter, there is often a relationship with another member of staff based not so much on sexual attraction but on a mutual admiration for the way each other behaves.
If the bully is a female in a junior position, she finds a weak male in a senior position (this is usually not difficult) - for example the President, Chief Executive, any Senior Executive, Finance Director, Personnel Director, or Departmental Director, etc - then gains patronage, protection and reward (eg promotion) by traditional methods. Once promotion is gained, the female calculates who can give her the next promotion; if the first male cannot, he is ditched and another adopted. The males are unlikely to admit this is happening or has happened.
If the bully is a male in a senior position, he is often sleeping with a secretary or office administrator, as this is where he gets his information and where he spreads his disinformation. Sometimes the female junior can be identified by her reward, eg being the only person allowed to hold the keys of the stock cupboard (everyone has to grovel to her if they want a new pen), or being put in charge of the office in the bully's absence when there are others who are senior to her who would make more appropriate deputies.
Most serial bullies have unhappy and unsatisfactory private lives which are characterised by a string of broken relationships. If you are the current target of a serial bully and taking legal action, a little digging into the bully's past, including their personal life, will usually unearth some unsavoury facts that the bully would prefer not to be made public. In some cases, serial bullies have been found to have criminal convictions for fraud, or to have been compelled to attend therapy or counselling for their habit of compulsive lying, or they might have a record of domestic violence. Under normal circumstances making these facts part of the proceedings might be considered unethical; however, if you're the target of a serial bully, the circumstances are not normal.
*Validity of testimony
*Because of the serial bully's Jekyll and Hyde nature, compulsive lying, charm and plausibility, *the validity of this person's testimony cannot be relied on in disciplinary proceedings, appeal hearings, and under oath at tribunal and in court*. Emphasise this when taking action.
Mediation with this type of individual is inappropriate. Serial bullies regard mediation (and arbitration, conciliation, negotiation etc) as appeasement, which they ruthlessly exploit; it allows them to give the impression in public that they are negotiating and being conciliatory, whilst in private they continue the bullying. The lesson of the twentieth century is that _you do not appease aggressors_.
The disordered thinking processes of the criminal / antisocial mind are succinctly described in Stanton E Samenow's book _Straight talk about criminals_. For example:
"_Certain people who I term non-arrestable criminals behave criminally towards others , but they are sufficiently fearful _[and knowledgeable of the law - TF]_ so that they do not commit major crimes. We all know them: individuals who shamelessly use others to gain advantage for themselves. Having little empathy, they single-mindedly pursue their objectives and have little remorse for the injuries they inflict. If others take them to task, they become indignant and self-righteous and blame circumstances. Such people share much in common with the person who makes crime a way of life. Although they may not have broken the law, they nonetheless victimize others._"
(Chapter 8, The criminal mind exists independent of particular laws, culture or customs)​In Samenow's 1984 book _Inside the criminal mind_ he uses this description:
_"Some criminals are smooth rather than contentious, ingratiating rather than surly, devious rather than intimidating. They pretend to be interested in what others say. Appearing to invite suggestions, they inwardly dismiss each idea without considering its merits. They seem to take criticism in stride but ignore it and spitefully make mental note of who the critic was. They misuse authority and betray trust but are not blatant about doing so. With the criminal at the helm, employee morale deteriorates. His method of operation sooner or later discourages others from proposing innovative ideas and developing creative solutions."_


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## babblingbrook (Aug 10, 2009)

To me bullying is truly showing your weakness, when you bully someone you try to make yourself feel better in comparison to the person you bully. You also do this to dominate and to get popular. Most of the people around you sense you are better than this person you bullied and follow you, the bully.


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## Blue Butterfly (Sep 19, 2009)

With that statement I completly agree! But they also show thier own weakness of thier mind.


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## babblingbrook (Aug 10, 2009)

Yes I meant that kind of weakness. I love the quote you put up there, how true! 

"All cruelty springs from weakness."​ 
Other people following the bully is the most tragic thing though.
Have you ever seen the movie "Das Experiment"?​


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## Blue Butterfly (Sep 19, 2009)

I have not seen that movie. I am going to download it. If it deals with bullies I know I will like it.


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## babblingbrook (Aug 10, 2009)

The movie is based on the psychological Stanford Prison Experiment from 1971. It is very unsettling to watch, but impressive nevertheless.
EDIT: I just watched a documentary on it [video=google;677084988379129606]http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=677084988379129606[/video] maybe you'd like to see it after watching the movie.


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## Lindaj951159 (Sep 26, 2009)

Long description but I agree. I have found bullies to be very scared mentally and just want to hurt soneone else.


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## slowriot (Nov 11, 2008)

tl; dr :blushed:


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## Perseus (Mar 7, 2009)

Perseus System: Bullies are ESTJ. Personal growth can enable them to cognitively alter their behaviour, I have never seen it yet !


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

I have long experience being bullied. I have only met one that fits the sociopath profile. Around 90% of bulloies are wannabees; all they want is acceptance. I don't hate them for that. However, sociopath bullioes, I hate with the intensity of a galaxy. I spent a month being surrounded by one and his thralls. I will never forgive him. If I get the opportunity, I will make him take acccountabilty for his actions; I will fucking kill him! Everyone loved him, except me. Right from the first time I saw him, I knew there was something diseased, evil about him. Right fron day 1, he was mean to me. The tactics of "ignoring the bully", or "report the bully" don't work. The former had no effect, as he was just a sadistic fuck. He threatened to kill me with a knife. I was only twelve years old. The latter method didn't work. The people there adored him, and des[osed me. Only three people there didn't like him: me, an ex-army sergeant, and some other guy. He drove me to the brink of suicide twice in four weeks. Every day, I was greeted with "you're a retard." Every hour, I heard "Nobody likes you." I'm not really one to give a shit about that kind of thing, but weeks of this on end will get to anyone. By my second week there, I often fantasized about taking the shotgun from Joe's office and splattering the motherfucker's brains all over the walls. The adults could be in the same room as we were in. They would look away, and he'd go after me. The moment before they looked back, he'd be away from me, and I'd be telling them what happened. They never dd anything about it.


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## TurranMC (Sep 15, 2009)

babblingbrook said:


> The movie is based on the psychological Stanford Prison Experiment from 1971. It is very unsettling to watch, but impressive nevertheless.
> EDIT: I just watched a documentary on it Stanford Prison Experiment (Documental).avi maybe you'd like to see it after watching the movie.


I have read about the Stanford Prison Experiment but did not know there are movies about it, though it never occurred to me to look. Thanks for the link.


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## LadyAutumn (Sep 22, 2009)

Hurting said:


> Constant criticism, nit-picking, no empathy, control freak, denial, charm, glib, compulsive liar, devious, manipulative? Read this​*The serial bully​
> ​*


*

Jesus, I just had nearly 20 years of my life pass before my eyes! This is my ex-husband. I had read about the serial bully and narcissism several years ago, and the whole world made sense all at once! Talk about validation! Everything I had tried to organize in my mind, all the thoughts and feelings, all the guilt I carried for being a failure - it was all right there.

Sorry if this is all bolded (I tried to unbold it, but it didn't work )​*


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## red riding hood (Aug 10, 2009)

Ok this is just my personal opinion but I think the defining characteristic of a bully is very simple they are always only interested in themselves and what they want and what they feel or think is best for them and them alone. They may care about there children in a way, but there love is selfish because they only look at them as what they reflect of themselves, they may care about a spouse in a way, but really a spouse has to be useful to them in some way, and so on and so on… they lack compassion empathy or true concern for the well being of others, every thing else is simply a feature of that characteristic. 

I think at some point in all of our lives we can lose sight of what is best, and be looking only out for ourselves, but it is when that becomes a habitual state of mind and the manner in which you almost always interact with the world then you are a “bully” and I would say probably have a personality disorder of some kind. Honestly I think by the time some one has an engrained personality disorder it s very very hard to ever really treat it effectively, as a matter of fact I really have only known one person in my life who I would say even came close to over coming an issue like that. However I do not think that personality disorders are limited to a certain personality type, or group.


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## BradyLadyWA (Jan 28, 2009)

I was a perpetual victim of bullying. Rarely physical, although on one occasion I was followed home from school by kids who kept hitting me on the back of my legs with a chain, and on another occasion I was followed home by a girl (older) who was repeatedly slapping me. It was from my brother that I got most of the physical bullying, and he continues to be a wife-slapper to this day.

The bullying I took usually was in the form of taunting, being called retarded, fat, ugly, dog face, etc. In spite of good grades, it was made clear to me that my peers considered me stupid. My teeth (since straightened) were horribly bucked, and I was called Bugs Bunny a lot. My name (since changed) was easy to turn into a joke. I came from a very poor family and dressed in clothes that had belonged to great-aunts. Our family rules were much stricter than average, leading to my being called a baby when I wasn't allowed to do things others my age or younger did. We moved around constantly. I went to 20 different schools before I graduated, therefore always being the new kid that others liked to test out. I matured early and was taller and more developed than most, making me feel like a big fat galoot even before I was overweight. Before adolescence I was actually the correct weight for my height and level of development, but others were only too happy to help me feel fat and ugly.

Adults always told me to just ignore it, and they'll stop. No, they won't! And joking back doesn't help, since anything I said was twisted around and used against me.

I suppose, given that I was bigger and stronger, I could have fought back and overcome the bullies--but every time I tried to, the adults would remind me how much bigger I am, and *I* was considered the bully! For this reason, it was mostly the little tiny pipsqueaks who enjoyed calling me names--they knew they'd be protected if I got mad at them. Kind of like a kitten teasing a chained-up Doberman, I guess.


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## YellowBrickRoad (Oct 28, 2009)

BradyLadyWA said:


> Adults always told me to just ignore it, and they'll stop. No, they won't! And joking back doesn't help, since anything I said was twisted around and used against me.


Adults told me to do that too. They also told me to hit them. Knowing the person that it is, if I hit them, I'd get hit back twice as hard.


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## BradyLadyWA (Jan 28, 2009)

YellowBrickRoad said:


> Adults told me to do that too. They also told me to hit them. Knowing the person that it is, if I hit them, I'd get hit back twice as hard.


I often got contradictory messages like that.

"And you just stood there and let them do it? Well, don't come crying to me. Stand up for yourself!" Then next time, it's, "Hey, you don't take it into your own hands. You come and tell me!" Also, I got a lot of, "I don't care who hit who first, you're both getting punished!" Which always seemed unfair to me. First I get bullied by the other kid, then I get bullied again by the adult. I couldn't win.

Actually, I eventually figured out that when the adults said, "Don't let it bother you," what they really meant was, "Don't bother me about it."


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## Munchies (Jun 22, 2009)

Hurting said:


> _Vijai P. Sharma, Ph.D_
> 
> Until I began to search literature on bullying, I used to think that an average class, at the most, has one or two bullies. I was wrong. In fact, a class of the size of thirty children, on average, have four to five bullies. Psychological studies on middle school children show that fifteen percent of middle schoolers act as bullies one time or the other. Who falls in that fifteen percent category? What do we know about them? How can we control bullying at school and help bullies themselves shun bullying? To answer such questions, experts are asking what aspects of their personal background shapes bullying behavior. Experts are attempting to answer why some children want to dominate or intimidate their peers as opposed to winning and influencing their peers with qualities, such as charisma, humor, assistance, and cooperation,
> A study conducted by The Center for Adolescent Studies at Indiana University, on five hundred and fifty-eight 6th to 8th- graders, offers some interesting insights. The study compared bullying children and non-bullying children regarding their home environment and personal behaviors. Here are the salient findings about bullies:
> ...


You can try to sum them up just because they go against you, but theres no specific type for them, theres many reasons why someone would bully


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## Cookie Monster (Nov 6, 2009)

BradyLadyWA said:


> Adults always told me to just ignore it, and they'll stop. No, they won't! And joking back doesn't help, since anything I said was twisted around and used against me.


I was also bullied in Jr High. It was terrible, and my mother told me similar tactics. Unfortunately, just ignoring a bully is ineffective because they take that as a sign of weakness. Once you are a target, the bully will never let up. I wonder myself what makes some kids so sadistic that they go out of their way to be hurtful to others. I seriously think there are other variables besides violent TV and single-parent homes. 

Unfortunately, a lot of kids do not get trained in proper assertiveness at an early age. Some kids feel they need to bully to feel better about themselves, and the kids who are bullied do not know how to stand up to a bully.


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## Wake (Aug 31, 2009)

My underlying principles for growing up have always been that of a Christian, and bullies have shown me what those who are lead astray in life due to a lack of decent principles become. Many of these lacking individuals are wannabe's and attention whores.
The funniest thing I have seen back during high school was how women found these bold popular wannabes to be the most desirable of men. Oh the bad boy was just so alluring, but to someone in my position he was trash(the human kind). One who does unthinkable things due to a selfish and careless ways is deemed that. I never will understand those who like to be controlled and give up dominance completely.
The problem is our school systems are not capable of reforming these peoples personalities but instead they let them create misery for those who are their targets, rarely punishing them with a detention or something else petty. LOL the fellow class members wondered why i had reservations about how the paddle was taken away from teachers to discipline, they didn't have to live with the pressures one of these guys being around me every day had brought.
If I ever have a kid and he grows into something that resembles these people in my past i would probably banish him to a boot camp.
From reading the Enneagram type 8 personality and also seeing an A&E special on youth juveniles I'm convinced that most if not all bullies are of this type, or of a similarly bold type. I've seen type 4's act in that manner or they say rebellious type 6's can act this way. The root of the problem until jail our society doesn't know how to deal with this type more effectively, or it doesn't want to to get to the root of the problem and create a better environment for us all. More boot camps are needed to try to help them understand what selflessness is made of and set upon the path the becoming a healthy type 8.
Though in a way you could call these people weak because they're of the bully mold but in reality they know the system can't handle them so they riskily do as they please and get away with doing more and taking the lesser punishment. I consider them weakly principled and they must be taught a harsh and agonizing punishment but they're ahead of our school systems in the way they are never given a sufficient punishment. So they're smart because they get more, but lead down a path which only will being them bad things.
I couldn't imagine people going out into the real world with that sort of demeanor towards others and become an employee for too long anywhere, cuz how I deal with those people is get them fired. The real world is great like that, they don't hold your hand but will throw you out at a whim if you proven to be trashy. The sad part is they can still be parents and raise a screwed up kid and allow the next generation to follow in their foot steps
Though I'm very damning I don't believe in violence until all other options are exhausted, and in school that means the parents too must complain to get sufficient punishment. If action is not taken they have failed the child and are as responsible for not taking action as the school.
I hate revisiting the thoughts of the corrupt in my past its brings out the ridged part of me when I'm only trying to become more discerning type 1(enneagram).


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## Aqualung (Nov 21, 2009)

Interesting thread. I've been wondering for weeks how to solve a problem with a bully at work. I've been tempted to just beat the shit out of him but then I'd be fired, lose my house, car, wife, etc. so that's not a viable option. :tongue: I have to be pushed REALLY far to want to punch anybody. So I'm learning what I can & trying not to react emotionally in a way that would just make me a fool & bigger target. He's already been warned several times by his boss because others have been targets & complained. While he's been on vacation, his 2 "best friends" said they're getting tired of his crap too. This might be a long term "project" I'll be working on until I retire.


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## Blue Butterfly (Sep 19, 2009)

Aqualung said:


> Interesting thread. I've been wondering for weeks how to solve a problem with a bully at work. I've been tempted to just beat the shit out of him but then I'd be fired, lose my house, car, wife, etc. so that's not a viable option. :tongue: I have to be pushed REALLY far to want to punch anybody. So I'm learning what I can & trying not to react emotionally in a way that would just make me a fool & bigger target. He's already been warned several times by his boss because others have been targets & complained. While he's been on vacation, his 2 "best friends" said they're getting tired of his crap too. This might be a long term "project" I'll be working on until I retire.


I have them at work to. And I end up looking like the bad person always. Don't make my mistake. I think bullies are drown to INFP's because they think we are weak. It does take a lot to get us to stand up to them but hitting him is not the answer. Sneakingly make him look like a fool!!! That is what I do but don't get caught at it.


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## Nancynobullets (Jan 21, 2010)

We have an attention seeker at our College. Even with me trying to me impartial, he fits 19/21 descriptions of the attention seeker type bully. And yet, I feel like I am the only one here that recognises him for what he is. It is astounding! Its not like he is subtle about. 

I thought about waging a little social war against him but there would be no point. My fellow students apparently make their judgements entirely on appearances rather than substance. I'm not putting my neck on the line for them. Though it stings to hide my dislike of him.


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## lishalee (Feb 8, 2010)

I was bullied so badly at school. Even til today (more than 5 years down the road) whenever I feel helpless and alone, I flashback to those days. It was a group of boys in my class who would hurl insults ("fat stupid bitch) and do random things like put thumbtacks on my chair before I sat down or flick my head/ponytail with a rolled up piece of paper _all day_. Seems pretty trivial, but it was constant and I would lie in bed every night, worrying about what would coming to get me the next day. It got to the point where I stood at the top of the stairs, contemplating how to throw myself down so I could break a leg and not go to school for at least a few weeks.

Of course, I had no friends. My attempt to make friends were foiled for some unknown reason. They were the in-crowd, I was the outcast. The girls were never mean to me, but it seemed like they actively made sure that none were friends with me. Once I shared a room with a girl during study camp and she went on and on about how he was so sweet and all... she was talking about my lead tormentor. I nodded politely because she was so nice and I didn't want to seem weak by telling her bad stuff about him.

When I think back on it now, I wonder how I could have let that happen? I remember defending myself occasionally - these attempt would fail spectacularly. Everyone in class knew how mean they were to me, but no one cared. I was hesitant in telling my parents or teachers because... come on, not being able to deal with thumbtacks and ponytail flicks is for kindergarteners. So I worked on ignoring it all and you know what ignoring really is... I bottled it all up. It was one day when we were in class, _someone_ rolled up a strip of paper, folded it in half (this make a very hard, pointy projectile) and aimed it at me with a rubber band all day. I knew it was coming, but until it did, there was nothing I could do. When it finally hit me, I felt... a relief? And the pain, the humiliation of being victimized for someone's pleasure and the loneliness of having no one to stand up for me. I sucked back the tears, yelled at them (in which they feigned innocence very well) and continued writing notes. What's worse was that the teacher would have seen my eyes swimming in tears but she continued teaching anyway.

I finally broke and told another teacher who happened to walk by my locker that afternoon and instead of the disciplinary action I was hoping for, he changed our seating in class... which was verrry useful. Another teacher I hated had the gall to snidely tell me that I was making a big deal out of "nothing". As for their psychological profiles, I think only one of them was the real bully. The rest were sheep.

Reading the rest of this post, I think my experience is similar to Mutatio NOmenis's.


Mutatio NOmenis said:


> Every day, I was greeted with "you're a retard." Every hour, I heard "Nobody likes you." I'm not really one to give a shit about that kind of thing, but weeks of this on end will get to anyone. By my second week there, I often fantasized about taking the shotgun from Joe's office and splattering the motherfucker's brains all over the walls. The adults could be in the same room as we were in. They would look away, and he'd go after me. The moment before they looked back, he'd be away from me, and I'd be telling them what happened. They never dd anything about it.


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## Aqualung (Nov 21, 2009)

lishalee said:


> I was bullied so badly at school. Even til today (more than 5 years down the road) whenever I feel helpless and alone, I flashback to those days. It was a group of boys in my class who would hurl insults ("fat stupid bitch) and do random things like put thumbtacks on my chair before I sat down or flick my head/ponytail with a rolled up piece of paper _all day_. Seems pretty trivial, but it was constant and I would lie in bed every night, worrying about what would coming to get me the next day. It got to the point where I stood at the top of the stairs, contemplating how to throw myself down so I could break a leg and not go to school for at least a few weeks.
> 
> Of course, I had no friends. My attempt to make friends were foiled for some unknown reason. They were the in-crowd, I was the outcast. The girls were never mean to me, but it seemed like they actively made sure that none were friends with me. Once I shared a room with a girl during study camp and she went on and on about how he was so sweet and all... she was talking about my lead tormentor. I nodded politely because she was so nice and I didn't want to seem weak by telling her bad stuff about him.
> 
> ...


Lishalee I'm sorry that you had to experience that. The school system failed. Any teacher who would look the other way when that happens should be fired. I saw that happen so many times when I was in school & sometimes it was me being their target. I wonder now whatever happened to those bullies. Probably divorced 5 times & in prison.:happy:


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

Aqualung said:


> Lishalee I'm sorry that you had to experience that. The school system failed. Any teacher who would look the other way when that happens should be fired. I saw that happen so many times when I was in school & sometimes it was me being their target. I wonder now whatever happened to those bullies. Probably divorced 5 times & in prison.:happy:


hopefully getting a bid fat disease-ridden biker dick shoved up their ass. !

Lishalee, how that called you "fat stpid bitch" that means two things.
#1: Not size 0 (Impossible for a girl who's worthy of anything besides fucking.)
#2: Smart (Because they hated you for out perfoming them.)
#3: Bitch (You were a T, and I happen to like T's.)

So in conclusion, if you are bullied, you should have the right to pummel their face until they make this: http://www.break.com/usercontent/20...-Victoria-Lindsay-484450.html#comments-target look like child's play.


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## Korvyna (Dec 4, 2009)

lishalee said:


> I was bullied so badly at school. Even til today (more than 5 years down the road) whenever I feel helpless and alone, I flashback to those days. It was a group of boys in my class who would hurl insults ("fat stupid bitch) and do random things like put thumbtacks on my chair before I sat down or flick my head/ponytail with a rolled up piece of paper _all day_. Seems pretty trivial, but it was constant and I would lie in bed every night, worrying about what would coming to get me the next day. It got to the point where I stood at the top of the stairs, contemplating how to throw myself down so I could break a leg and not go to school for at least a few weeks.
> 
> Of course, I had no friends. My attempt to make friends were foiled for some unknown reason. They were the in-crowd, I was the outcast. The girls were never mean to me, but it seemed like they actively made sure that none were friends with me. Once I shared a room with a girl during study camp and she went on and on about how he was so sweet and all... she was talking about my lead tormentor. I nodded politely because she was so nice and I didn't want to seem weak by telling her bad stuff about him.
> 
> ...


I had a group of the popular clique harass me to no end from my freshman year to my senior year. I can really relate to your experience, though mine wasn't as severe. I ended up changing to a different class to get away from the brunt of it. What was sad was one of the girls in the popular clique kept telling them to leave me alone and they wouldn't... So it was nice to see that not all of them in that clique were cold and heartless. 

During my freshman year, my mom got so pissed off about me coming home crying about it, she called one of the kid's parents... I kid you not the mother laughed and told her to get over it. No wonder the kid was such an asshole, clearly it was learned from his parents. Eventually, we broke down and went to the guidance counselor since none of the teachers ever did anything about it. The guidance counselor told them to stop... Real effective. Finally, my aunt who is a police officer talked to the liaison officer in our school and he yanked the boys out of class and had a chat with them... It slowed down a little bit after that... 

It continued off and on through out my entire high school years... The one thing it did teach me though, they don't like it when you stand up to them. They get quite bent and don't know what to do. One of these jerks went around and decided to put a check mark on everyone's hand one day (God only knows why he thought that was cool)... When he got to me and tried to I grabbed his arm and dug my nails in as deep as I could (which is pretty deep, I've got some killer nails)... He glared at me and moved on... He was really pissed that someone he deemed beneath him wouldn't let him do whatever he wanted. 

I hated that part of my high school years so much that I almost didn't go to the class reunion... But I had changed a lot, and decided screw them, I would go. A lot of people were amazed because I had finally filled out. I wasn't just an A cup with no figure anymore... Oh yeah... And I bored my mom's car for the event... A 2004 Corvette with our name on the license plate. I had a few people comment that it was obvious I was single and no kids! I left before the popular crew and made sure they noticed me in the car as I was leaving. It was like my final middle finger to them. 

From my experience, a kid that is a bully has parents that are bullies too. It's really sad. I think my high school years and experiences are why I want to get into counseling. I won't stand for that. If someone comes to me with a bullying concern, I won't just give them a slap on the wrist and be done with it. I will make sure to continue and check on the victim and make sure things have ended.


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## nikkii (Feb 3, 2010)

Hurting said:


> _Vijai P. Sharma, Ph.D_
> 
> Until I began to search literature on bullying, I used to think that an average class, at the most, has one or two bullies. I was wrong. In fact, a class of the size of thirty children, on average, have four to five bullies. Psychological studies on middle school children show that fifteen percent of middle schoolers act as bullies one time or the other. Who falls in that fifteen percent category? What do we know about them? How can we control bullying at school and help bullies themselves shun bullying? To answer such questions, experts are asking what aspects of their personal background shapes bullying behavior. Experts are attempting to answer why some children want to dominate or intimidate their peers as opposed to winning and influencing their peers with qualities, such as charisma, humor, assistance, and cooperation,
> A study conducted by The Center for Adolescent Studies at Indiana University, on five hundred and fifty-eight 6th to 8th- graders, offers some interesting insights. The study compared bullying children and non-bullying children regarding their home environment and personal behaviors. Here are the salient findings about bullies:
> ...


 It really gives you in insight to people.


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## Kudo Shinichi (Feb 23, 2010)

*Bully*

Prevention is better than cure for bullies.


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## Iggy Hazard (May 20, 2010)

No compromise with the Philistine. Exterminate them all with a clenched fist.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

This whole post might be disturbing, but please, don't report me on it.



YellowBrickRoad said:


> Adults told me to do that too. They also told me to hit them. Knowing the person that it is, if I hit them, I'd get hit back twice as hard.


 
That's why I can't fight back against my brother. He is several times stronger than I am, plus he controls a lot of my life. My parents won't even let me have mace to defend myself. I get a lot of physical and emotional abuse. It's given me some severe emotional problems. I can't feel truly or else I would go insane from what I have to experience with it. I will go berserk if people complain about how other are mean to them and hit them. I will have to restrain myself to avoid attacking people who call me retard. I'm seriously messed up, and my parent's don't see anything wrong with it.

Now that thing has started to be a dick to not only me but to my parents, and my mom's getting to snap after only about a month or so of this treatment. I told her to try enduring it for 9 years with everyone telling you that it is completely normal and that if you don't fight back against someone who could beat even your 220 pound, 6'2'' dad to death and you're only 5'5'' and 140 pounds, you deserve to be bullied because you're not fighting back. I would love to put them in a prison for a week and tell them that's what it's like to be me, after telling them despite the fac t that their cellmate, who can bench 300+ pounds raped them and that they deserved to be raped because they didn't fight back despite having a shank help to their throat.

Bullying is never okay, save in the training of people for jobs such as military and police. Enslavement of one sibling by another is wrong and supporting it by claiming the victim deserves their oppression because they don't fight back despite being hopelessly outmatched deserves their situation. No wonder those kids at Columbine went on that killing spree. Several of those people deserved to die.

BTW, if anyone here knows of an Englishman named John Holland, he's about 25-28 years old, then let me know. He's the son of a bitch who let this happen. I want to kill him too.

Rant on

IF I EVER FIND THIS MOTHERFUCKER, I WILL TORTURE HIM TO DEATH IN FRONT OF HIS MOTHER! I WILL BEAT HIM TO DEATH IN FRONT OF HIS FAMILY AND MAKE HIM BEG FOR MERCY! I WILL DENY HIM IT EVERY TIME, AND WHEN HE CRIES, I WILL TAKE A KNIFE AND TEAR APART HIS BALLS AND TELL HIM "I don't care- they're your balls, not mine; not my problem."

Rant off

That felt good to finally get out.

I will not report anyone here who goes on a rant here. This thread should be about getting the pain in the open and letting your stories be heard and to vent your pain. If these scumbags could feel what they do to us, they'd kill themselves. And if they didn't do that, I would make it legal to kill bullies just for being bullies and tell people who are scared of the crazy people with guns that they should get used to the fear.

Wow, I really am a fucked up peice of work. I'll never be alright until I can talk with someone else with the same pain and still experiences. It's slowly killing me, years after the torture ended. When my dad picked me up from that place, Camp Watonka, I cried tears of joy.

Finally, I do beleive what someone said earlier about the adults not wanting to deal with it, which is why they give you conflicting advice. My best countermeasure is to hit the adults in the face with a crumpled-up paper sheet and tell them that if they don't defend themselves that they are pathetic peice of shit, but if they defend themselves, then they are a violent animal. Repeat X200 times with gradually increasing brutality until you're striking them with a sledgehammer and doing it in front of people who should be helping them but instead look the other way and claim that they deserve it and give him the same treatment as he gives you.

In Saruman's words: "You have elected, THE WAY OF PAIN!"


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## IllBeBach (Jun 11, 2010)

Pathological people,

primarily sociopaths/psychopaths and narcissists are fucking scary.

These people can truly be considered evil.


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## ENTPreneur (Dec 13, 2009)

Well, I was bullied in different ways during my childhood. When I look back at it I remember a couple of occasions where I realised later that it was pure byllying but evaded it. I evaded it through violence. I hit the one closest, or the boss. 

I have given this advice to my younger cousins in the same predicament: Hit them, even if you get back worse. Why? Because to bully you must come with a COST. They do not want to pay that, and as cowards they do not wish to risk losing a fight or getting punishment for having assaulted you .

Works in tghe initial process when you are being targeted as "victim".


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## ENTPreneur (Dec 13, 2009)

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> I feel so



I feel sorry for you. Something that might help is to train yourself to be able to help others in your situation. Train Martial Arts for example; but I can imageine that the brother does boxing or such. But MA is good. Eventually you can take down your heavier brother. And youll get the aggression from your body.

I recommend self-defence styles. Kikcboxing and MMA is more street fighjt style.No philosophy or calm. You need calm to win....


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## MilkyWay132 (Jul 15, 2010)

Bullying makes me lose faith in humanity. That's all I have to say.


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## bubbly00 (Jan 11, 2010)

I was never really bullied cause i was friends with everybody even the bullies. These tough guys were often insecure little boys who hated themselves. so sad.

Whenever i saw bullying take place though, it royally pissed me off to no end. I always stepped in, and most of the time i managed to break off any verbal/physical abuse. My heart would really go out to the victims and i wanted to just hug them and tell them everything was gonna be alright from now.

bullying is the suckyness.:frustrating:


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## ENTPreneur (Dec 13, 2009)

bubbly00 said:


> I was never really bullied cause i was friends with everybody even the bullies. These tough guys were often insecure little boys who hated themselves. so sad.
> 
> Whenever i saw bullying take place though, it royally pissed me off to no end. I always stepped in, and most of the time i managed to break off any verbal/physical abuse. My heart would really go out to the victims and i wanted to just hug them and tell them everything was gonna be alright from now.
> 
> bullying is the suckyness.:frustrating:


They PICK their victims. You werent picked out. Be thankful for that.


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## Deepblue (Oct 26, 2010)

My bullies at work are npd/p and wanna be's. I'm certain of it. I had an ENFJ bully...horrible experience. Dysfunctional ENFJ's are serial bullies.:sad:


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

I actually was a bully in my young years, last but not least because I could, due to having the privilege of having an older brother who'd take care of things if crap hit the fan.

I grew out of by grade 6 though. I assume it was due to a change of school and environment and the realization that there's so much more to the world, and no matter what you try to accomplish physically, there will always be the one stronger than you eventually.

Now, I wasn't a bad kid per say but my reasoning with words only developed years later.

Ultimately I connect such primitive behavior to a persons intelligence, which I think is a fair assumption to make.


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## Kaj (Nov 9, 2010)

I was always bullied at school. Nothing too severe mind, but I was sensitive and it made me very sad. 

As I matured, I discovered that many of the bullies turned out to have a kind of respect for me, and one day they would treat me as though we were suddenly friends. I've seen this happen other people too.

One bully, who died young, even passed a touching message to his father for me on his deathbed. That... changed my perception.

I don't think I've ever been bullied by a true psychopath luckily, just weak minded people, who were jealous or probably just wanted me to fit in.


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## Psychosmurf (Aug 22, 2010)

Wow. The Attention Seeking one describes my little brother perfectly. :dry:


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## curious0610 (Jun 27, 2010)

People usually think of bullying as something only young children go through, but it happens to adults in a more covert form of relational aggression.


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## timwaagh (Dec 1, 2010)

bullying erm...i dunno what to think of it. i've been bullyed myself, of course. by guys and also by a girl. I mean she really was a nasty person when i knew her. you know, figuring out the name of a girl i had a crush on then telling everyone. throwing tin cans at me. of course, that was reason enough for me to freak out and my fellow classmates had to stop me from putting her face down in the mud. after that she left me alone and soon was moved to another class. 
but now she wants to be friends with me on facebook? i don't get them. of course i accepted, because i feel that i could handle her if necessary. But in the end there is bullying and there is being ignored. i guess being ignored is worse.


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## Ectoplasm (May 2, 2010)

I would suggest escapism as a factor. It's often turning an attention transfixed on negatives and problems away on other factors (and more usually people) where the said person would not have to focus on their own issues. It would grant them enjoyment by being a means of escaping their own misery. Unfortunately these issues still subconsciously influence decisions and the misery and sadness within cause the bullying effect. Thats why I believe many bullied people actually become bullies themselves. It's simply to make themselves feel better when internal conflict makes no difference.


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## Capsicum (Mar 17, 2010)

I really hate hearing the old (though there hasn't been much of that in this thread) "poor bullies, they have such bad home lives :sad: and they're hurting inside".

*Bulllllllllllllllllllshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!*

I wasn't bullied much in high school, but the few kids that did had good home lives (growing up in a small town, I knew this) and I knew a few kids who got it far far worse. The bullies come out of it smelling peachy or, better yet, "repents" and gets lauded as if he's Lord JC himself. MO's post, among others, helps to re-iterate the fact that bullies can often be seen by others as top stuff.

Fyi, if you were a bully and are sorry for what you did... save your breath.


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## StandingTiger (Dec 25, 2010)

Capsicum said:


> I really hate hearing the old (though there hasn't been much of that in this thread) "poor bullies, they have such bad home lives :sad: and they're hurting inside".
> 
> *Bulllllllllllllllllllshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!*


I agree completely. The only bullies that I knew growing up (I'm talking mean girl, queen bee type bullies) were spoiled and came from great homes and happy families. They just wanted to run the world, because everything had been perfect for them in their lives.

Also, what type do you think are those bitchy, female bullies? Do you think they're the same type as the guys who allegedly beat up other guys after school?


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## Lokkye (Dec 28, 2009)

I believe bullies are damaged ESFJs, it's probably their emotions that's propelling them to enact such atrocities on other people


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## Michael82 (Dec 13, 2010)

Blue Butterfly said:


> Some visitors to Bully OnLine have suggested that the bullies in their lives exhibit characteristics of Borderline Personality Disorder.


I lived with a borderliner for a while. I think it could be a soft link but not a strong one, because the person I knew was really nice, open and friendly up to the point that he could, and had no sign at all of bullying. Perhaps it may be a form of manipulation to get something the borderliner wants?


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## shadowofambivalence (May 11, 2011)

I have known people like that in my life, they were moslty adults who took advantage of children which are the worst types of bullies in my opinion.


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