# What are the signs of insecurity?



## cardinalfire (Dec 10, 2009)

What are they? I want to know if I got any left to eliminate, lol. I've been described as a secure person, which is cool. What are the signs though, I like squashing stuff like this and making sure I don't have any. Thanks... have a go if you want.

I've put this in relationships, though it could apply to anyone interested in personal growth. Especially the young 'uns.


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## Solace (Jan 12, 2010)

What? What makes you think I'm insecure? Don't you _care?_ Do I _sound_ insecure? I'm totally secure, see? This is my secure face, being all secure. I'm way more secure than you. You'll -- wait, what's that? Did someone say something? I think someone just said something. Are they making fun of me? Who _are_ they anyway? Random voices? I hear no such thing.

Ahem, so insecurity can include one or more of the following:
- Unhealthy introversion (social withdrawal)
- Excessive self-doubt
- Excessive "Neediness"
- Questioning of everything (as an effect of being unable to rationalize properly)
- Denial of one's feelings (or of others)
- False bravado (usually in combination with other things)
- Paranoia

I'm sure there are more.

Edit: Also included are rash/compulsive behavior and there was another one ... hm. Anger? Something like that. As well, the wiki article on "emotional _in_security" blows.


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## cardinalfire (Dec 10, 2009)

Thanks, I might check out that wiki article. Is this a very INFP thing to be interested in do you reckon?

lol... voices...


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## Solace (Jan 12, 2010)

cardinalfire said:


> Thanks, I might check out that wiki article. Is this a very INFP thing to be interested in do you reckon?
> 
> lol... voices...


Actually it sounds like the beginning of a "mid-life crisis," haha. I don't think that personality types have anything to do with feeling insecure. But there are a myriad of environmental reasons that might make one begin to look into a quantitative analysis of their personal [emotional] security.

Hopefully you're not going through a mid-life crisis, but I suspect something brought this on. Maybe a friend losing a job; the current state of world affairs; or something else brought this up.


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## cardinalfire (Dec 10, 2009)

I just have been reading about it, because someone mentioned that I was secure. I wanted to know the difference.

I really love self improvement stuff... I just thought it's more INFP because I know that they are good with character and there is a lot of them on here, I wondered whether self improvement studies etc are something that is over represented in INFPs.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

When someone is insecure about something I just don't get it. I suppose its a way of thinking like someone else is better in some way, and that you aren't as good. I say work with what you have. Know who you really are and nurture that rather than try to be something else just because it seems better. There are different types of people who are needed to fill different roles. If we were all good at everything in the same ways then society would become pretty stagnant. Appreciate the individual you are for your individual abilities. You are who you are, not better, not worse. Being insecure wouldn't really do anything positive for you, so scrap it. Like I have said, its useless anyway. Also, screw what people think. That is a big one. Not everyone is going to like everything about you, and they don't have to. Your life still goes on and you can choose to let their words hold you back, or ignore that meaningless shit.


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## Outcode (Nov 28, 2009)

Spades said:


> What? What makes you think I'm insecure? Don't you _care?_ Do I _sound_ insecure? I'm totally secure, see? This is my secure face, being all secure. I'm way more secure than you. You'll -- wait, what's that? Did someone say something? I think someone just said something. Are they making fun of me? Who _are_ they anyway? Random voices? I hear no such thing.
> 
> Ahem, so insecurity can include one or more of the following:
> - Unhealthy introversion (social withdrawal)
> ...


Oh shit...


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## Solace (Jan 12, 2010)

cardinalfire said:


> I really love self improvement stuff... I just thought it's more INFP because I know that they are good with character and there is a lot of them on here, I wondered whether self improvement studies etc are something that is over represented in INFPs.


I see this more as a willingness - or open-mindedness - to change. Definitely a positive feature, but I would still not relate it to one type more than another. Aversions to risk or change are quite persistent among certain socioeconomic groups and groups that have cultural dependencies.

As well, some other notable traits of insecurity could include:
- Extreme jealousy
- Aggressive behavior (goes along with rash behavior)
- Confusion
- Anxiety (more of a general paranoia than what we tend to consider "paranoia")
- Pathological lying, confabulation, and other fantastic ideation*
- Severe risk aversion/aversion to change


--
* I hate that word.
--


Disclaimer: Any one or more of these does not necessarily imply a specific condition. Do not take the above list as a guide to deducing problems. This is not legal advice nor does it offer technical support. Eat your vegetables.


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## cardinalfire (Dec 10, 2009)

Promethea said:


> When someone is insecure about something I just don't get it. I suppose its a way of thinking like someone else is better in some way, and that you aren't as good. I say work with what you have. Know who you really are and nurture that rather than try to be something else just because it seems better. There are different types of people who are needed to fill different roles. If we were all good at everything in the same ways then society would become pretty stagnant. Appreciate the individual you are for your individual abilities. You are who you are, not better, not worse. Being insecure wouldn't really do anything positive for you, so scrap it. Like I have said, its useless anyway. Also, screw what people think. That is a big one. Not everyone is going to like everything about you, and they don't have to. Your life still goes on and you can choose to let their words hold you back, or ignore that meaningless shit.





Spades said:


> I see this more as a willingness - or open-mindedness - to change. Definitely a positive feature, but I would still not relate it to one type more than another. Aversions to risk or change are quite persistent among certain socioeconomic groups and groups that have cultural dependencies.
> 
> As well, some other notable traits of insecurity could include:
> - Extreme jealousy
> ...


 
Thank you.... and thank you....

I'd just like to clarify, I don't feel insecure , I'm just asking questions about it... So don't write this as I'm after help, just knowledge...

I will now go and eat my vegetables lol, I laughed at that. Amazing.


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

Insecurity is often shown by being either withdrawn (as in I can[t talk to you because I'm too scared), or it is by bravado. 'Look at me, I'm so big, strong, tough and manly!' It can also be shwon by having a partner much younger or older than than you are. But the ultimate display of insecurity is irrational overreaction: Watch Cheeleader Beatdown Victoria Lindsay Video | Break.com


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## Parttime muse (Feb 8, 2010)

Oh, ho ho ho! Another way to know someone is insecure is also if their self-esteem is low. They go off talk bad about somebody about something stupid like their clothes, hair, face, or brains when they hardly know the person. That person is a scape goat for their own insecurity. It's not just introverted people, it's extroverts come into this, too.


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## cardinalfire (Dec 10, 2009)

Parttime muse said:


> Oh, ho ho ho! Another way to know someone is insecure is also if their self-esteem is low. They go off talk bad about somebody about something stupid like their clothes, hair, face, or brains when they hardly know the person. That person is a scape goat for their own insecurity. It's not just introverted people, it's extroverts come into this, too.


Yeah I agree.


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## Caila (Nov 25, 2009)

For me, it's when I accuse my boyfriend I'm seeing of cheating, when he's given me no reason to do so.
I hear that parent divorce can cause the offspring to feel threatened in a relationship. Anyone agree with that?


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## SeekJess (Nov 1, 2009)

Personally here is my list:

* Lying about what you have or who you are.
* Not being direct, open, or honest with your partner.
* Having to look top notch ALL of the time, even when you are just going to the grocery store.
* People who want/need constant positive reinforcement. 
* People who throw them selves at guys, wear lowcut everything... 

I dunno...


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