# SPs and SJs best relationships?



## Deadpool (Feb 22, 2011)

Hello artisans and...guardians but mostly artisans. Why are we soo drawn to the SJ type I don't understand so much please tell me. Ppl always tell me that I will mostly end up with a guardian than a rational and an idealist. I dnt know why they tell me Tht. Please enlightened me :crazy:


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## nevermore (Oct 1, 2010)

I've noticed the perceiving functions (N and S) have more to do with interests and common ground than T or F, even if they are T or F dominant. So often N's are drawn to other N's and S's to other S's. But any type pairing can theoretically work. Ultimately this stuff comes down to the individual.


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## teddy564339 (Jun 23, 2010)

It might just be that there are so many more SJ's to choose from. I know that no type statistics are definite, but everything I've ever read points to S's being in the majority over N's. 

In some places I've read the percentage of SP's and SJ's is about the same. In others I've read SJ's largely outnumber SP's. In either case, you're certainly more likely to run into more SJ's than either of the two N temperaments.


In addition, like nevermore said, S's tend to understand each other on a lot of basic levels moreso than they understand N's. So with that as a starting point, it's back to the typical J vs. P argument....the one that J's need P's to help them loosen up and P's need J's to help them settle down and organize. P's find needed stability in J's and J's find thrill and excitement in P's. This is even more pronounced in SJ's and SP's than NJ's and NP's.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

I can find some SJs to be too rigid, but that's from my personal experience.


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## Wendixy (Mar 1, 2011)

Fizz said:


> I can find some SJs to be too rigid, but that's from my personal experience.


My ISFJ ex is like that. He must follow a schedule for everything. He also "likes" to invade my person space, which turns me off. Well, it was more like he constantly needs me. 

Anyways, the relationship lasted for about two years, which isn't that bad.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Wendy Wang said:


> My ISFJ ex is like that. He must follow a schedule for everything. He also "likes" to invade my person space, which turns me off. Well, it was more like he constantly needs me.
> 
> Anyways, the relationship lasted for about two years, which isn't that bad.


I have personal space issues with some people. If I don't like them, I don't want them physically close or to know my personal life. People who are overly buggy about stuff, I close off to. My father is an SJ and he used to bug me about where I was going and who I was with, I think he finally figured out I will tell him if I feel like it. I don't like being questioned. I'm not up to any shenanigans that I would be willing to divulge.


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## Wendixy (Mar 1, 2011)

Fizz said:


> I have personal space issues with some people. If I don't like them, I don't want them physically close or to know my personal life. People who are overly buggy about stuff, I close off to. My father is an SJ and he used to bug me about where I was going and who I was with, I think he finally figured out I will tell him if I feel like it. I don't like being questioned. I'm not up to any shenanigans that I would be willing to divulge.


THIS! He constantly questioned me about exactly how I "felt" every time I tell him I need my own personal space. When he finally gives up, he would give me guilt trips. "Fine, I'll give you all the space you want. Don't talk to me for the rest of the day." That bothers me more than popping my bubble.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Wendy Wang said:


> THIS! He constantly questioned me about exactly how I "felt" every time I tell him I need my own personal space. When he finally gives up, *he would give me guilt trips*. "Fine, I'll give you all the space you want. Don't talk to me for the rest of the day." That bothers me more than popping my bubble.


That drives me absolutely MAD! I can't stand when people do that to me and my SJ father would do that often. I don't know why he would have to make a big deal out of nothing. He's relaxed since, but I just don't like dealing with melodramatic people. Especially when it comes to my own personal business. Why does it matter where I was? Why does it matter who was there? If I am not trusted, that's on them. I either didn't gain their trust or I'll never be trusted, that's up to them.


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## teddy564339 (Jun 23, 2010)

Wendy Wang said:


> THIS! He constantly questioned me about exactly how I "felt" every time I tell him I need my own personal space. When he finally gives up, he would give me guilt trips. "Fine, I'll give you all the space you want. Don't talk to me for the rest of the day." That bothers me more than popping my bubble.


This reminds me of the situation in this thread:

http://personalitycafe.com/isfj-forum-nurturers/41333-tell-me-how-make-my-isfj-hubby-happy.html

I talked about this some there, but this is something ISFJ's have a tendency to do...it's down to our inferior Ne, IMO.



Fizz said:


> That drives me absolutely MAD! I can't stand when people do that to me and my SJ father would do that often. I don't know why he would have to make a big deal out of nothing. He's relaxed since, but I just don't like dealing with melodramatic people. Especially when it comes to my own personal business. Why does it matter where I was? Why does it matter who was there? If I am not trusted, that's on them. I either didn't gain their trust or I'll never be trusted, that's up to them.


Probably kind of the same thing here too, since you said he was ISTJ. Probably the inferior Ne again. Especially as a parent. I think this goes back to the recent thread I made here:

http://personalitycafe.com/sps-temperament-forum-creators/47210-how-do-you-sps-get-along-sjs.html


I think SP's are able to do things SJ's can't, and without knowing something about the MBTI, I can see how an SJ parent would constantly worry about how a non-SJ child. 


It reminds me a lot of how there's confusion in how NT's and NF's show love. NF's are often hurt by the honesty of NT's, but to NT's being honest is their way of showing love. NF's also show love through emotions in ways that NT's don't get.

It's kind of the same thing with SJ's. I can't speak for your father, but I don't think SJ's view their worrying as a lack of trust...it's just that they automatically worry about those they care about. The more they worry, the more they love, usually. 

I think it's because we're control freaks in our own lives...in order to be happy, we have to have everything organized and in control. In our own lives, as children and single people, this takes work, but for the most part we can achieve it with no problem, and we're happy. But when we make bonds with those we love, we constantly worry about them because we can't control them, and we're so afraid of something bad happening.


Like I said, for ISJ's, it goes back to inferior Ne.....we always imagine worst-case scenarios and are constantly trying to be prepared for them. That's where our worrying comes from. Without knowing about the MBTI, I would imagine these behaviors would run pretty rampant.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

teddy564339 said:


> Probably kind of the same thing here too, since you said he was ISTJ. Probably the inferior Ne again. Especially as a parent. I think this goes back to the recent thread I made here:
> 
> http://personalitycafe.com/sps-temperament-forum-creators/47210-how-do-you-sps-get-along-sjs.html
> 
> ...


I understand that his worrying is a sign of his parental love. I'm always going to be treated like a child and I've come to terms with that. He has since backed off and I will open up if I want to. It's just not my nature to tell people what I'm up to.


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

These are just for the SJs. It's mix and match. Best relationships are recommended with intuitives. This way you don't end up stepping on each other's toes too much  

ISTJ +
+ ENFP - Duality description under SLI-IEE
+ INFP - Activity Relations
+ ENTP - Semi-duality Relations
+ ESFP - Mirage relations
+ ISFP - Benefit relations where ISTJ is benefactor and ISFP is beneficiary
+ INTP - Benefit relations where INTP is benefactor and ISTJ is beneficiary

ISFJ + 
+ ENTP - Duality description under SEI-ILE
+ INTP - Activity Relations
+ ENFP - Semi-duality Relations
+ ESTP - Mirage relations
+ INFP - Benefit relations where INFP is benefactor and ISFJ is beneficiary
+ ISTP - Benefit relations where ISFJ is benefactor and ISTP is beneficiary

ESTJ + 
+ INFP - Duality description under LSE-EII
+ ENFP - Activity Relations
+ ISFP - Semi-duality Relations
+ INTP - Mirage relations
+ ESFP - Benefit relations where ESFP is benefactor and ESTJ is beneficiary
+ ENTP - Benefit relations where ESTJ is benefactor and ENTP is beneficiary

ESFJ +
Attractive relations:
+ INTP - Duality description under LII-ESE
+ ENTP - Activity Relations
+ ISTP - Semi-duality Relations
+ INFP - Mirage relations
+ ESTP - Benefit relations where ESTP is benefactor and ESFJ is beneficiary
+ ENFP - Benefit relations where ESFJ is benefactor and ENFP is beneficiary


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## CallSignOWL (Jan 11, 2010)

I seem to be drawn to SPs. There is a lightness present that I dont have....lord knows im serious enough for two people. And honestly, I like being drawn out of my shell.


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## lemonade (Feb 12, 2012)

@CallSignOWL I know what you mean by being drawn out of your shell. My best friend is an ISTJ and we both go out to (milk) tea party every week. Its very fun! She specifically told me how introverted she is, even though she's becoming a rebel (skipping classes and such to have tea). My friend and I have a lot in common, such as how we nod together in the exact same way. It's hilarious how twin-like we are.


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