# Do you find that persons with dominant/auxiliary Fi talk a lot about themselves?



## Zeri (Jan 23, 2018)

Do you find the above to be true? Just curious. I have a friend who I think has dominant/auxiliary Fi (I'm still trying to type her) and she always puts the focus on herself by talking about what she's doing or how she's feeling. When someone mentions something they're going through, instead of referring back to what the person says, she would say something like, "Well, I have that situation too...." and then proceeds to talk about herself and her situation for the next 15 minutes, completely ignoring what the other person said in the first place. I find it incredibly ANNOYING, and to me it comes across as self-centered. I don't know if it's because I'm an extroverted feeler or what.... maybe it just conflicts a lot with what I do, personally, when I use Fe. Just curious if others have experienced the same with Fi users, though.. please share. 

Here an example though:

(this is through whatsapp: I posted about this friend before in another thread)

Friend A: I had a really stressful day today...
Me: Oh (sad emoji)...why?
Friend who uses Fi?: I had a really emotional day too. It was so overwhelming... My boss came in and......(cue 3 long paragraphs about her day and the stress she went through )......

And she does this repeatedly. Like someone will mention something about themselves, and she'll immediately use that situation to start talking about something similar she's been through etc... Urghhh. 

Is it just me? Is this even Fi?


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## JennyJukes (Jun 29, 2012)

Honestly, I do this a lot and I'm an aux Fe user. I'm really cautious of the fact though so I try to make it relevant to what the person is saying and find a mutual grounding for us to discuss the common matter. I can't say that I've found it a pattern in Fi dom/aux in particular either as I know other ISFJs like this. I think Fe users are maybe just more cautious of how they're coming off and try to put the attention back onto the other person as they don't want to seem selfish or annoying.

I once got typed on a server and they called me an Fi dom because I use "I" and "like/dislike" a lot...


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## Ardielley (Aug 4, 2013)

I wouldn't say I talk a lot about myself with people I'm not comfortable with, but once I'm comfortable, I'd say that I do talk about myself pretty frequently. 

It's not so much that I'm trying to be selfish when I share my experiences and perspectives. It's just that opening up in this way is how I most naturally connect to others. Without this process of sharing, I'm not really being me. I've been in situations where I've felt pressured to be a "yes man" and a soundboard, and even though that's a role I can take on pretty easily, I'm never my most authentic self in these situations... which can be dissatisfying.


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## Ode to Trees (Aug 25, 2011)

Under extreme type of stress, I would tend to either to talk about it a lot to a close person or completely shut down - not mention anything. When I was younger, I tended to keep a lot inside (friends, parents, and teachers would not know that I was through something very taxing and difficult). On average, I process a lot by myself.


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## pwowq (Aug 7, 2016)

Yes.


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## Zeri (Jan 23, 2018)

Ardielley said:


> I wouldn't say I talk a lot about myself with people I'm not comfortable with, but once I'm comfortable, I'd say that I do talk about myself pretty frequently.
> 
> *It's not so much that I'm trying to be selfish when I share my experiences and perspectives. It's just that opening up in this way is how I most naturally connect to others. Without this process of sharing, I'm not really being me. I've been in situations where I've felt pressured to be a "yes man" and a soundboard, and even though that's a role I can take on pretty easily, I'm never my most authentic self in these situations... which can be dissatisfying*.


Ok, I kind of understand this, and sometimes I do this myself ... but, do you see how it can sometimes come off as self-absorbed to others, too?


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## Ode to Trees (Aug 25, 2011)

I do not know what is worse: things that bother Fi-doms to stay in or get out of their mind. I think that your friend genuinely forgets herself. You are probably rare people she can tell these stuff to you. For some Fi-doms, stressful experiences stay in their head and tend to be replayed over and over again. They tend to ruminate a lot if overly stressed. She would implode or explode if she does not tell. But, I am still wondering why so often she is stressed out. Perhaps, she needs to change her job. What seems like nothing to some people, it might be quite a big deal for her. After venting, I would most likely experience some kind of guilt/shame afterward though because I become aware of such sharing afterward it happens (meaning I monopolized somebody's time, I overshared, I overwhelm them with my problems, my venting was too long, etc.). She overwhelms you because she is very intense inside, very overwhelmed herself. However, that also happens (being overwhelmed) with things that I meant to say but they came out as something totally different. 
I empathize with the person that is overwhelmed. That does not mean that will not become overwhelmed myself. Afterward, I would probably need some alone time to myself. I also become overwhelmed by my own oversharing. I feel exhausted afterwards (kind of - I experience a mental fog). It is like the talk therapy that does not help you, but it has a completely different effect. Consequently, I do not know how much that all helps her.


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## Zeri (Jan 23, 2018)

Ode to Trees said:


> I do not know what is worse: things that bother Fi-doms to stay in or get out of their mind. I think that your friend genuinely forgets herself. You are probably rare people she can tell these stuff to you. For some Fi-doms, stressful experiences stay in their head and tend to be replayed over and over again. They tend to ruminate a lot if overly stressed. She would implode or explode if she does not tell. But, I am still wondering why so often she is stressed out. Perhaps, she needs to change her job. What seems like nothing to some people, it might be quite a big deal for her. After venting, I would most likely experience some kind of guilt/shame afterward though because I become aware of such sharing afterward it happens (meaning I monopolized somebody's time, I overshared, I overwhelm them with my problems, my venting was too long, etc.). She overwhelms you because she is very intense inside, very overwhelmed herself. However, that also happens (being overwhelmed) with things that I meant to say but they came out as something totally different.
> I empathize with the person that is overwhelmed. That does not mean that will not become overwhelmed myself. Afterward, I would probably need some alone time to myself. I also become overwhelmed by my own oversharing. I feel exhausted afterwards (kind of - I experience a mental fog). It is like the talk therapy that does not help you, but it has a completely different effect. Consequently, I do not know how much that all helps her.


thanks for your thoughts. I have an INFP friend who's definitely like this (i.e venting when stressed - very emotional etc). But it's different with my other friend. In the example I gave above, she was stressed - but most times when she shares about herself it has nothing to do with stress - sometimes it's just about every day random things. 

E.g: 
Friend S: (via whatsapp, in group chat) I'm here wondering whether to cook roti tonight....
Friend who I think uses Fi: I love roti. I'm going to cook it tomorrow for dinner, actually.... Here's a meal plan I created for the week> (proceeds to share meal plan)..

So...yeah. As I said before, I don't even know if this is Fi or something else... ? But it's usually her sharing things about herself (often very trivial, unsolicited random things (e.g "I gave my children 2 vitamins today")- and sometimes feelings). The thing that bothers me most is that when someone else mentions something it usually triggers her to say something about herself (e.g a similar experience, or feeling. If a friend says she's tired, the friend in question will say "ohh..I'm tired too! etc" . To me, her doing that means that the focus is always on 'her' instead of the person who said the thing in the first place. 

I'm trying to narrow down her type and I think this is some kind of Fi, but if anyone has any other opinions I would be happy to hear...


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## Ode to Trees (Aug 25, 2011)

You are hitting her Ne if she is INFP indeed. That is the only thing I can think of. Also, Fi-doms will show you how they relate to you. For me personally, the topic of roti for dinner is not interesting. I would not tend to share those things. It is not enough exciting to me. Everday stuff are a bit borring to me.


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## Forest Nymph (Aug 25, 2018)

Yes. I either respond very shortly (yes, no, ugh, hi, bye) or in scientific question/answer (academic/professional) or enjoy talking about myself or rather my personal experiences and relationships at length. I understand the world through what I've known and loved.

My roommate, who I believe is an ENFP, does this a lot. She is younger than me and more extroverted than me so it's honestly annoying sometimes. But ultimately I find her very lovable and understand her form of communication, through sharing personal experiences (oh we just threw avocado seeds in the dirt when I was in Puerto Rico) or her beliefs (that is righteous that you/they did that) or just honestly prattling on like a child. I'm just like, I deserve this, I deserve an ENFP child.


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## Forest Nymph (Aug 25, 2018)

Ode to Trees said:


> You are hitting her Ne if she is INFP indeed. That is the only thing I can think of. Also, Fi-doms will show you how they relate to you. For me personally, the topic of roti for dinner is not interesting. I would not tend to share those things. It is not enough exciting to me. Everday stuff are a bit borring to me.


That is so funny because I am the exact opposite and so is my roommate. We bond over cooking dinner and food and plants, things like that. I wonder if it is just an individual thing or if Ne types are less likely to enjoy talking about every-day things. If I'm well rested I could get up in the morning and talk about vegan cooking, or how well our climate is fairing, the fog in the trees. We also talk about deeper things, but I wonder if a key to knowing if someone has Ne is that they ARE NOT interested in these things. Maybe my roommate is an ESFP like my mom, talking about food and doing the childish prattle thing. They actually both do that. But my roommate always forgets things, like she forgets tangible things it's weird, and always seems to wish she was somewhere else. The frustrating unreality and innocence of her behavior is what both charms and annoys me, I associate it more with Ne than Se.

In your opinion, how would you tell the difference?


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## Forest Nymph (Aug 25, 2018)

Zeri said:


> thanks for your thoughts. I have an INFP friend who's definitely like this (i.e venting when stressed - very emotional etc). But it's different with my other friend. In the example I gave above, she was stressed - but most times when she shares about herself it has nothing to do with stress - sometimes it's just about every day random things.
> 
> E.g:
> Friend S: (via whatsapp, in group chat) I'm here wondering whether to cook roti tonight....
> ...


That's definitely Fi. People with Fi aren't doing it to be annoying they see that as the give and take of communication, I share me, you share you, I talk about me, you talk about you.

Unless it's in excess. Obviously there's a point where it just becomes narcissism, but I think generally it's normal for Fi doms to have intrapersonal intelligence, and it's even KIND...like we're saying, yes I am like you! I relate! I did that too! It's not always from a self-centered place, but even when it's self-centered it's not necessarily selfish, there's a big difference.


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## Forest Nymph (Aug 25, 2018)

Ode to Trees said:


> I do not know what is worse: things that bother Fi-doms to stay in or get out of their mind. I think that your friend genuinely forgets herself. You are probably rare people she can tell these stuff to you. For some Fi-doms, stressful experiences stay in their head and tend to be replayed over and over again. They tend to ruminate a lot if overly stressed. She would implode or explode if she does not tell. But, I am still wondering why so often she is stressed out. Perhaps, she needs to change her job. What seems like nothing to some people, it might be quite a big deal for her. After venting, I would most likely experience some kind of guilt/shame afterward though because I become aware of such sharing afterward it happens (meaning I monopolized somebody's time, I overshared, I overwhelm them with my problems, my venting was too long, etc.). She overwhelms you because she is very intense inside, very overwhelmed herself. However, that also happens (being overwhelmed) with things that I meant to say but they came out as something totally different.
> I empathize with the person that is overwhelmed. That does not mean that will not become overwhelmed myself. Afterward, I would probably need some alone time to myself. I also become overwhelmed by my own oversharing. I feel exhausted afterwards (kind of - I experience a mental fog). It is like the talk therapy that does not help you, but it has a completely different effect. Consequently, I do not know how much that all helps her.


I find that the Internet is a huge blessing. I used to keep diaries and journals as a child and early teen. Now I can tell everyone everything, without telling anyone who I have to look at or talk to tomorrow. For some reason this is important to me. I remember when I kept diaries in adolescence hiding the pages that I wrote, only choosing to share what I wrote with certain people. Now I share everything with everyone, to the point of oversharing, but it keeps me from inflicting myself or exposing myself to people irl ...I think I really get something from it. Even a therapist makes me feel self-conscious.


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## Stevester (Feb 28, 2016)

Unhealthy Fe users make everything about them, Unhealthy Fi users act like they're the only ones who's opinion matters.


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## Zeri (Jan 23, 2018)

Thanks for all your thoughts... interesting. 

ForestNymph, to your question - I'm actually wondering if my friend is a sensor instead of intuitive. She said many years ago she typed as INFJ (I find that hard to believe). I don't see much Fe with her, really, and I'm doubting the intuitive thing, mostly because the contents of her posts are usually about very minor, concrete, almost trivial things...? Like unsolicited posts about giving her children a double dose of vitamins... things like that. Or..."Curled up in bed with a book and some hot tea. Awesome"...or "Here with the children at a museum. 'Dear son' says that dinosaurs are extinct so he wants to know why they're here", things like that. Her posts seem very descriptive and not necessarily insightful, so it makes me wonder if this is more of a sensor/random intuitive thing? 

Some added info is that my friend is a lawyer (has been one for over ten years), but recently did a Masters in Library Sciences.


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## Zeri (Jan 23, 2018)

That's interesting. I guess it provides you with emotional release, so that you don't have to keep everything inside? Interesting that it feels better for you to share things with 'everyone' though, instead of sharing with just a few people. I think most introverts would balk at that.... Do you mean on places like FB, or just anonymous boards?


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## Figure (Jun 22, 2011)

You're definitely not the only one who feels that way! 

We may have completely different situations here, so bear with me if this doesn't resonate. But that OP reads creepily, almost verbatim like things my mom (who is also an ISFJ) and I talk about all the time, especially with my ESFP aunt. And she definitely *does* direct almost everything back to herself. To her credit, she doesn't care who she talks to, it could be to a fence post. At home, when she calls we jokingly set the phone on the table and time how long she goes on and on and on without even realizing nobody is on the other end XD Eventually, there's usually a 10 second "anyway, so what's new with you?" though not always. 

Not sure if you'd agree/disagree if this is true with your friend, but in my experience with some (not all) the Fi people they don't even_ realize_ that they're talking about themselves, let alone how someone else would interpret it. They just want to say what's going on in their life, it doesn't even really matter who they tell it to.


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## Ode to Trees (Aug 25, 2011)

Forest Nymph said:


> That is so funny because I am the exact opposite and so is my roommate. We bond over cooking dinner and food and plants, things like that. I wonder if it is just an individual thing or if Ne types are less likely to enjoy talking about every-day things. If I'm well rested I could get up in the morning and talk about vegan cooking, or how well our climate is fairing, the fog in the trees. We also talk about deeper things, but I wonder if a key to knowing if someone has Ne is that they ARE NOT interested in these things. Maybe my roommate is an ESFP like my mom, talking about food and doing the childish prattle thing. They actually both do that. But my roommate always forgets things, like she forgets tangible things it's weird, and always seems to wish she was somewhere else. The frustrating unreality and innocence of her behavior is what both charms and annoys me, I associate it more with Ne than Se.
> 
> In your opinion, how would you tell the difference?


 The food is just an example. There are INFP foodies; however, they do not bore a person with something that is so obvious like a well-known recipe to all parties involved for hours. The food could be a form of art. I mean, I would not talk about what my family and I will eat for an entire week and plan it in advance, and it seems that she overly talkative just about any mundane thing she can if given an opportunity to do so. That is too much extroversion for me. I can now see why @Zeri can find it a bit annoying. I understand that people would like to relate and that is fine. I just do not understand the supposed INFP mentality when they go beyond that relating thing. They seem that for some reason unknown to me are doing it beyond to just relate. It seems to me that they are oblivious to their behavior and do not read well others. I am not yet quick to judge that such behavior is selfish or self-centered. I would seek a cause beyond such judgment. Lonely people could be like this, but she is not that lonely. Also, she extroverts already at work. How she has the energy to go on and on after work?
I can see why you and your roommate could be passionate about food you are making because you are probably introducing something interesting, novel, and you are both passionate about it. You relate what you eat with the healthiness of your body. An INFP needs sometimes a lot of time to realize how this is important and to read its body symptoms because they are not sensors. It kind of sucks to be honest. They eventually learn especially when they start to feel symptoms that they cannot ignore anymore. Lol and ouch. I do not see that is that Se thing only though. Consequently, and INFP can become expert in healthy eating and what herbs are important for treating symptoms. Some would become healthy eating oriented because of their values.

If I see some new restaurant with a new concept about food, that would interest me to a certain degree because it is novel. Then, it gets boring and I would seek something else. The person that we do not know that is even INFP talks and talks about something that is not that important in a great scheme of things like that should interest the entire world. She does not give her friends time to respond. 
I think my mom is an ISFJ, but she is much more talkative than my ISFJ grandma who was a perfect cook, and she would talk about how to prepare food and ingredients needed if she sees something on a food tv-show whether it interests me or not. She is in no way a perfectionist. I keep telling her "mom you cannot find those ingredients in this town plus those are special techniques and you do not have the knowledge, time, and tools to do so for tonight's dinner." She just continues talking about and zones out like she sees a shiny diamond. If I am to interrupt, there is no way that she would listen to me. I honestly think she is out of options what to make for dinner because my father is picky, judgemental, and difficult about food. He requests things that are beyond their budget, and my mom should be a trained chef. Also, he would like that food tastes like in the old country which is not possible with an American way of producing food and out-of-season produce. Despite the fact that she gets a bit annoying about food tv shows, I understand why she is behaving that way. 
I do not know enough your roommate to type her. However, I am not an expert in typing anyways. I cannot still type my father. He is not a healthy person, so it is difficult for me. 
ENFPs definitely differ as individuals. Some seem introverted. Some are bouncing balls of energy. The one I know seems more introverted than extroverted at first look. They are act prim and proper and are professional at work but get distracted by something. It is like somebody turns on a switch of excitement and talkativeness. I can seem random as well, but they seem random much more than I. It is not that they are random, but Ne connects things that other people who are not Ne-dom find not related. They can get lost in thought or in town driving (it happens to me as well) because they are not in the present but think about things that are not quite necessary (to others) for a given moment. They might think about the meaning of life instead of what they going to make for dinner. Of course, not always - how otherwise they would survive. LOL. ESFP seem more extroverted and like to get out and experience reality as it is. More at the moment, and like a company that will actively seek and go out. They like to try to figure out people as well. 
I got lost in downtown, and I called an ENFP to give me directions. I do not think that ESFP would get that confused. She got nervous and confused trying to explain to me where to go, and I got even more confused and lost. LOL. Also, it is easier for ESFP to make a decision. On the other hand, when ENFP and INFP are given plentiful choices, they will tend to delay making a decision because there are so many possibilities. For example, my INFJ sister gets annoyed with me when we are picking a restaurant to get something to eat. I pick one restaurant and then I change my mind. Then, I pick another and again change my mind. Finally, I decide to go with my first decision. She gets really upset. "Did not you told me that we are going there in the first place." "Decide already". Then, seeing how bad my brainstorming affected her, I tend to tell her to pick what she likes. She should not ask me to pick a restaurant in the first place. Seriously. Now imagine, brainstorming that ENFP goes through.


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## Ode to Trees (Aug 25, 2011)

Forest Nymph said:


> Even a therapist makes me feel self-conscious.


LOL. I apologized to a psychologist who I was seeing to figure out what is a good career path for me. He told me next time I saw him that is his job.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

I don't think so. I am an aux Fe user and I try to relate how others feel to how a similar situation made me feel. Over time, I've learned to internally compare and contrast without necessarily having to voice those comparisons. I would rather ask more questions about their thoughts anyway.


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## VenusSaturn (Jan 15, 2019)

I'm an INFP so I have Dominant Fi.

Over the years I've learned to be a better listener, in the past when I went on and on about myself it wasn't necessarily because of self-importance, it was just because I felt a more depressed and unbalanced than I am now and I just needed to "let it all out", if you know what I mean.

Now I'm much more discriminating when it comes to who I'll share my deepest thoughts and feelings with, and when I talk about myself it's usually because:

1. I'm asked to give an opinion and I tell the other person how I truly feel because I don't like dishonesty and I feel like deep communication is key to a thriving connection.

2. This sometimes goes hand-in-hand with #1, and I'll fully admit that WHEN it is someone I care about I subtly try to influence them so they're on the same page as me when I am doing #1. It's like: "I'll tell you how I feel, so you have another perspective to consider, but if your perspective is in disagreement with mine I secretly hope I'll plant a seed in you and one day you'll admit that there's more truth in my view than yours."

Yes, I'm being perfectly honest with myself here.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

No I don’t think dom Fi does

Some auxiliary Fi (so extroverts) do

But of the people I know who talk more about themselves are Fe users trying to relate themselves to the environment 

My daughter is INFP she rarely ever makes mention of herself in a sort of focused way like being self absorbed 
While she will be very firm on a belief she feels strong she is very reserved about making herself as a central topic or focus 

( That, Sounds way more like an extroverted characteristic overall and actually more so Fe).

But Fi can get into poor me type of behavior


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Stevester said:


> Unhealthy Fe users make everything about them, Unhealthy Fi users act like they're the only ones who's opinion matters.


This


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## VenusSaturn (Jan 15, 2019)

Sensational said:


> No I don’t think dom Fi does
> 
> Some auxiliary Fi (so extroverts) do
> 
> ...




"Poor me"-I can relate to that.

As for being very loud and opinionated-No. I'm most comfortable in a one-on-one setting where I trust the person and I can really take the time. Sometimes if I'm asked to give an opinion right away I'll touch the surface, but knowing me in-depth takes much more than that.


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## Sily (Oct 24, 2008)

INFP here. 

I've been at PerCafe for about 10.5 years. I have 14,000+ posts and I'm guessing 99%, are _*me,*_ talking about _*me*_. That's all I really do here, is talk about my own experiences, my opinions, me, me, me, myself, I and circle back around and discuss me, me, me again, for the 3rd, 4th and 5th time. 

I _*trust*_ writing about me. 

I get _very uncomfortable_ writing about groups or making broad sweeping statements about groups of people (the INFPs, the ESTPs, the INTPs, the ENFPs...etc., etc.,), or "them", "they", "we" and us. But that's just me, m'kay? If I had a dollar for every single time I've typed "I" here at PerCafe, I'd be a millionaire. 

When I get off the internet, I'm a quiet sort. _Very quiet_. I do not discuss me, myself and I. I usually just listen, add an occasional "oh really?" or "okay" or "I understand". Oh okay, husband and I are pretty free flowing with the communication and opinions, but we live with each other, and bump into each other occasionally, in the hallways, and a conversation ensues. 

So it appears, if you want to get information out of me, writing is the way to get it. NOT as much verbally.


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## X A N A (Jun 21, 2018)

Not type related, its upbringing related. The more siblings you have, the more likely you didnt get enough attention growing up. Or your parents ignored your needs.

I personally have like 6 siblings that talked in one-upmanships. It was hell. Its is also very hard for me to not talk about myself. I spent 22 years never talking about myself, and to be honest never wanted to because it would hurt people. As I got older though, I did a 180 and became an asshole. I talk about myself now, because I have a tendancy to show my bad side first. Anyone who sticks around is strong enough to be my friend. (Goddamn my 4ness)


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## JennyJukes (Jun 29, 2012)

Naofumi said:


> Not type related, its upbringing related. The more siblings you have, the more likely you didnt get enough attention growing up. Or your parents ignored your needs.
> 
> I personally have like 6 siblings that talked in one-upmanships. It was hell. Its is also very hard for me to not talk about myself. I spent 22 years never talking about myself, and to be honest never wanted to because it would hurt people. As I got older though, I did a 180 and became an asshole. I talk about myself now, because I have a tendancy to show my bad side first. Anyone who sticks around is strong enough to be my friend. (Goddamn my 4ness)


I like how you say "I have like 6 siblings" …. do you lose count? :tongue:


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## X A N A (Jun 21, 2018)

JennyJukes said:


> I like how you say "I have like 6 siblings" …. do you lose count? :tongue:


Yes in fact. XD


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## Emancipation (Jan 24, 2019)

Awwww, look at the Fi dom/aux users who identify with this replying honestly :angel: Angels, all of you.

I don't know if this behavior is associated with Fi but I just wanna say that NONE of you should feel bad for wanting to talk about yourself (Fe folks who replied included, this goes for EVERYONE). The issues only arise when you push for obscure topics (like old French music) that the other person isn't interested in or don't know how to give the attention back.



Zeri said:


> Friend A: I had a really stressful day today...
> Me: Oh (sad emoji)...why?
> Friend who uses Fi?: I had a really emotional day too. It was so overwhelming... My boss came in and......(cue 3 long paragraphs about her day and the stress she went through )......


Talking about how your day has been like "Friend A" is completely okay. A good friend will want to listen to your experiences and will genuinely empathize with you. If somebody tells you you talk about yourself too much when all you want to do is share what you're going through, they're a jerk. There's nothing wrong with wanting attention, as long as you can give it too. If the "Friend who uses Fi?" was a REAL friend, the conversation would've went like this: 

Friend A: I had a really stressful day today...
Me: Oh (sad emoji)...why?
Friend who uses Fi?: Oh, tell us!
Friend A: My husband has been away for a business trip for two days now and he'll be away for five more, so I'm so stressed out. The overwhelming pressure of having to be a good mum alone, going to work AND sleeping in a cold bed is too much for me to handle...
Friend who uses Fi?: Oh, sweetie!!! I feel for you.  Well, at least we know he's too head over heels over you to cheat. You two disgust me with how lovey dovey you are.  You know, I've had a horrible day myself. My boss was a real cunt to me and when I came back home, my kids were making chaos. I have a huge headache just from that, so I can only imagine how you feel - your situation is way worse.
Friend A: Damn girl!!! Life really sucks sometimes, huh? Neither of us have it easy.  But we'll get through it!!! 
Friend who uses Fi?: We will! Your husband will come back and our kids won't be so little anymore. Cheers to that! 

That way, both of them would've been able to share how terrible their days were in a way that's mutually enjoyable. Sharing the human experience with someone is such a beautiful thing. But because in the real world the "Fi user" blocked out Friend A's experiences to talk about her own, they both just made their horrible days worse.

tl;dr: Please don't think that you're a bad person for wanting attention, as long as you can give attention too! Love you all


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## Persona Maiden (May 14, 2018)

I honestly don't think this is type dependent, probably more of an ego thing. I am dom Fi, and I hate talking about myself, and usually only do it when I can't think of anything else to talk about, am trying to relate to someone to let them know I understand where their coming from, or if someone explicitly asks me about myself. I'd actually prefer to hear about the other person, because it means I have less talking to do, I dread when the conversation turns to me.


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## Zeri (Jan 23, 2018)

Emancipation said:


> Awwww, look at the Fi dom/aux users who identify with this replying honestly :angel: Angels, all of you.
> 
> I don't know if this behavior is associated with Fi but I just wanna say that NONE of you should feel bad for wanting to talk about yourself (Fe folks who replied included, this goes for EVERYONE). The issues only arise when you push for obscure topics (like old French music) that the other person isn't interested in or don't know how to give the attention back.
> 
> ...


Great example! I totally agree that this would've been a better flow to the conversation, for the same reasons you mentioned. But is this our Fe bias talking? (Are you dominant/auxiliary Fe?) Fe or not - I think it's a win-win kind of conversation, really!


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## Zeri (Jan 23, 2018)

Just wanted to clarify generally that I don't think my friend in question is INFP. (I had mentioned in another post that I had another INFP friend who is emotional and vents a lot), but I don't think the subject of this post is INFP. She's a little extroverted than introverted (maybe ambiverted), and more of a judger too, I think. She's not a feely-feely emotional-type person at all - not very affectionate. I think she uses Fi somewhere but I just can't nail down what her type may be. So far, I'm leaning towards maybe low-key ENTJ or INTJ...... I really don't know. 

She may not even be dominant/auxiliary Fi. That's why I was wondering if the behaviour in question is even Fi-related, or whether it might be connected to sensing. Could she possibly be ESTP?


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## Emancipation (Jan 24, 2019)

Zeri said:


> Great example! I totally agree that this would've been a better flow to the conversation, for the same reasons you mentioned. But is this our Fe bias talking? (Are you dominant/auxiliary Fe?) Fe or not - I think it's a win-win kind of conversation, really!


I couldn't tell you what my type was if I spent 17 year in the Himalayas, doing nothing but reading Jung. :crying: :laughing: But let's not give the Fi folk an excuse to be socially retarded just because they weren't born with Fe. :wink: People with either can be cunts!


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## TricoFeathers (Jan 13, 2019)

Zeri said:


> Just wanted to clarify generally that I don't think my friend in question is INFP. (I had mentioned in another post that I had another INFP friend who is emotional and vents a lot), but I don't think the subject of this post is INFP. She's a little extroverted than introverted (maybe ambiverted), and more of a judger too, I think. She's not a feely-feely emotional-type person at all - not very affectionate. I think she uses Fi somewhere but I just can't nail down what her type may be. So far, I'm leaning towards maybe low-key ENTJ or INTJ...... I really don't know.
> 
> She may not even be dominant/auxiliary Fi. That's why I was wondering if the behaviour in question is even Fi-related, or whether it might be connected to sensing. Could she possibly be ESTP?


I know the ESTP in my life often makes everything about himself without meaning to and I'm not an ESTP but I've sometimes accidentally stolen the spotlight from others unintentionally, also. I am possibly an INTP so in each of our cases poorly developed Fe could be the culprit.

My honest opinion? I don't think that behavior is so much a type or even a function behavior as it is just a human thing. Could be narcissism, could be poor social skills, could be a stress dump, and of course we all want to relate and be heard. I'm sure most people have done it or know someone who has at some point.


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## Aelthwyn (Oct 27, 2010)

Sometimes I think there's a misunderstanding going on here concerning how different types attempt to connect with others. Obviously there are some people who just want to talk about themselves and aren't interested in hearing what others have to say.

But, I think often times Fi people use sharing about themselves as an INVITATION for others to do the same - 'lead by example' you know, or to make opening up less scary for someone else because you've already entrusted them with your information/squishy innards. 

The level of information you offer to someone lets them know the level of closeness you'd like to be at. There is often an unspoken expectation of reciprocation. 

The thing is, I think Fi people don't want to make others feel pressured to open up if they don't want to, so asking questions and 'poking' someone else directly for information about their feelings or life is not their style. They want to let you know they're open to hearing from you - but doing so is up to you. So they initiate sharing by sharing themselves, not by directly asking you to share about yourself. 

Additionally, when you have shared something, some people show they understand where you're coming from and can relate to you by sharing a similar personal experience or feeling. It's not an attempt to make the conversation about themselves, but more like a "I think I understand you, here's my example, you can tell me if I actually 'get it' or not."

So I suppose a test would be, after they're done opening up to you, see if they're equally willing to listen in return or not. Talking a lot about yourself doesn't necessarily mean you're not also capable and interested in listening to others.


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## Roseisrose (Feb 15, 2018)

I would guess it is Fi but as a lower undeveloped funtion. Whatever your dominate funtion is, that is your strength. My dominate Fi, as an INFP, helps me to be extremely compassionate and others focused. This type is often known as the "Healer". The type that we are most likely to get along with is ENFJ (dom Fe), so I'm guessing this girl isn't dom. Fi.


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## Zeri (Jan 23, 2018)

Roseisrose said:


> I would guess it is Fi but as a lower undeveloped funtion. Whatever your dominate funtion is, that is your strength. My dominate Fi, as an INFP, helps me to be extremely compassionate and others focused. This type is often known as the "Healer". The type that we are most likely to get along with is ENFJ (dom Fe), so I'm guessing this girl isn't dom. Fi.


Agreed. I don't think she's dom Fi either...


Thanks for the thoughts everyone...


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## Llyralen (Sep 4, 2017)

Zeri said:


> thanks for your thoughts. I have an INFP friend who's definitely like this (i.e venting when stressed - very emotional etc). But it's different with my other friend. In the example I gave above, she was stressed - but most times when she shares about herself it has nothing to do with stress - sometimes it's just about every day random things.
> 
> E.g:
> Friend S: (via whatsapp, in group chat) I'm here wondering whether to cook roti tonight....
> ...


This is quite acceptable to Fi users. We usually think that by sharing like this it actually helps the other person to feel comfortable talking. She's just connecting with you. In fact, the stuff about the roti... I would have said something like that and thought that I shared it because it was helpful to you. You were trying to decide to have roti so she gave you a possibility.  So she actually shared her Fi and Ne which is what good friends who are Fi and Ne people DO.... otherwise what is there to talk about? You also gave random unsolicited information like people do when they just talk with their friends. She would have wondered why the heck you brought up the roti if you didn't want to talk about different things you could do with roti. I know this all sounds pretty crazy to you , maybe. What did you expect for her to say exactly?


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## Llyralen (Sep 4, 2017)

Aelthwyn said:


> Sometimes I think there's a misunderstanding going on here concerning how different types attempt to connect with others. Obviously there are some people who just want to talk about themselves and aren't interested in hearing what others have to say.
> 
> But, I think often times Fi people use sharing about themselves as an INVITATION for others to do the same - 'lead by example' you know, or to make opening up less scary for someone else because you've already entrusted them with your information/squishy innards.
> 
> ...


This. 

Plus it's kind of like when someone says "My kid just threw up on my shirt. I hope I don't smell bad." And you say, "It's okay, my kid has thrown up on my shirt. I get it." It's designed to make the other person feel normal and comfortable and at home.


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## Llyralen (Sep 4, 2017)

Zeri said:


> Just wanted to clarify generally that I don't think my friend in question is INFP. (I had mentioned in another post that I had another INFP friend who is emotional and vents a lot), but I don't think the subject of this post is INFP. She's a little extroverted than introverted (maybe ambiverted), and more of a judger too, I think. She's not a feely-feely emotional-type person at all - not very affectionate. I think she uses Fi somewhere but I just can't nail down what her type may be. So far, I'm leaning towards maybe low-key ENTJ or INTJ...... I really don't know.
> 
> She may not even be dominant/auxiliary Fi. That's why I was wondering if the behaviour in question is even Fi-related, or whether it might be connected to sensing. Could she possibly be ESTP?


She's very likely an ENFP like me. Everything you quoted, I would have said. The thing is.... she's not acting mean, is she? It's just that you wouldn't respond that way. Let me ask you this. Do you think she is a genuinely caring person? I bet that the answer is 'yes'. Her goal is to normalize what you say among the two of you--- build a commonality--- and also to let you and others know that what you're talking about can be understood by her because she also experiences it. Why she does that? Because Fi people feel like floating islands.... we feel very different from most people, so she is just giving you that kindness. It sounds like she over-does it a bit, but her intentions are obviously good. Her other intention besides making you feel connected and closer is to give you new ideas and possibilities and to help people look at things from a new perspective---- all things that ISFJs might get annoyed at. It's really hard for me to know how ISFJs want me to talk. However, I have had ISFJ friends and dated one.... there are some tough things to understand between the two. Si and Ne conflict and Fi and Fe conflict.... although the Fi and Fe can work very well when those are accepted by each other.


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## midnightdance (Mar 21, 2017)

I do this, but I don't mean to be selfish. I do it because I want people to understand that I understand how it feels, because if I have gone through the same thing, then to some extent I _do_ understand how it feels. I see it as bonding and sharing. but idk


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## Eren Jaegerbomb (Nov 13, 2015)

Naofumi said:


> Not type related, its upbringing related. The more siblings you have, the more likely you didnt get enough attention growing up. Or your parents ignored your needs.
> 
> I personally have like 6 siblings that talked in one-upmanships. It was hell. Its is also very hard for me to not talk about myself. I spent 22 years never talking about myself, and to be honest never wanted to because it would hurt people. As I got older though, I did a 180 and became an asshole. I talk about myself now, because I have a tendancy to show my bad side first. Anyone who sticks around is strong enough to be my friend. (Goddamn my 4ness)


I have the same problem but with speaking. All my life people always talked over me and butted in, now I'm the arse that has to quickly butt in otherwise I'll get ignored. Like, EVERY conversation I'm in with ANYONE, if I DON'T cut someone off I literally never get to say anything. It's like I'm invisible!


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## lunaticrabbits (Dec 25, 2015)

I find this funny, my INFJ friend talks about herself (almost) all the time.


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## Scoobyscoob (Sep 4, 2016)

Talking and venting about one's day doesn't seem type related.


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## Zeri (Jan 23, 2018)

Scoobyscoob said:


> Talking and venting about one's day doesn't seem type related.


I think it is. Extroverts may share more than introverts, for example (especially extroverted feeler types). Also, ISTPs (like my husband) are known to be fairly private when discussing their personal feelings. E.g when I ask my husband "how was your day?" it's like pulling teeth to get an answer! He would either shrug or say something dismissive like "it was normal. Why do you ask?" urrrgggh... 

Also, I think Fe users may hold back on sharing their thoughts/feelings sometimes, for fear or 'burdening' the other person etc.

I don't think 'type' is all there is to sharing/venting, but I think it can affect how people express themselves, for sure.


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## Scoobyscoob (Sep 4, 2016)

Zeri said:


> I think it is. Extroverts may share more than introverts, for example (especially extroverted feeler types). Also, ISTPs (like my husband) are known to be fairly private when discussing their personal feelings. E.g when I ask my husband "how was your day?" it's like pulling teeth to get an answer! He would either shrug or say something dismissive like "it was normal. Why do you ask?" urrrgggh...
> 
> Also, I think Fe users may hold back on sharing their thoughts/feelings sometimes, for fear or 'burdening' the other person etc.
> 
> I don't think 'type' is all there is to sharing/venting, but I think it can affect how people express themselves, for sure.


Yeah, I'd agree that extroverts are more likely to talk about their daily happenings than introverts, on average. But that's just because extroverts tend to be naturally gregarious and eager to share information, while introverts tend to be more private and may struggle to share the interesting/relevant parts. Your husband sounds like an ISTP, yes.

I think feelers in general may hold back on sharing certain thoughts and feelings, but for different reasons. So I think both Fe and Fi will, but not due to the same circumstances.

Yes, I agree.


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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)

Scoobyscoob said:


> Yeah, I'd agree that extroverts are more likely to talk about their daily happenings than introverts, on average. But that's just because extroverts tend to be naturally gregarious and eager to share information, while introverts tend to be more private and may struggle to share the interesting/relevant parts. Your husband sounds like an ISTP, yes.
> 
> I think feelers in general may hold back on sharing certain thoughts and feelings, but for different reasons. So I think both Fe and Fi will, but not due to the same circumstances.
> 
> Yes, I agree.


And here you are appearing not off kilter : ) Premeditation?


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## Scoobyscoob (Sep 4, 2016)

Convey said:


> And here you are appearing not off kilter : ) Premeditation?


Answer my question I asked you via PM. Until then, don't expect me to give a damn about you.


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## ENIGMA2019 (Jun 1, 2015)

Scoobyscoob said:


> Answer my question I asked you via PM. Until then, don't expect me to give a damn about you.


I do not want a DAMN thing. If that is what defines who is your friend and who is your foe... Weak. My voting preferences are none of your business unless you are on a different level.


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## Lettie91 (Jan 2, 2019)

I tend to share a lot about myself, but only what I want to share, if that makes sense. The deep inner workings of me I don’t share with anyone really.

I also only really share when I’m really close to someone (without being asked), if I’m not close to someone I will share a little when asked, but it takes me a while to open up! 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## tosakski (Jan 17, 2019)

I tend to talk mostly about myself and about my thoughts because I tend to have near to zero interest in what others feel or think.
And I'm a T-type likely. Not sure if Fi or Fe. But I'm just so stuck and focused on the things that happen inside my mind, that I don't have any extra energy left to devote to the thoughts and feelings of other people. This could be Fi related, or this could in fact be just simply Introversion related, or it could be NT related.

You can find a compelling case for all of the possible options I listed just now. And you'll be right in all of them, and wrong in all of them. Because MBTI and cognitive functions actually say very little about the nitty-gritty aspects of personality, and we mislead ourselves into believing they actually have anything worthwhile to say at all.


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## temptingthesea (May 7, 2018)

A close friend of mine also displays the same tendencies. 

I appreciate her a lot because she's so incredibly helpful and caring, but in group conversations, I can feel myself getting annoyed because whenever one of us talks, she always finds a way to make it about herself and her own experiences. It's like she'll suddenly find something in our stories that connects with her experiences and proceeds to talk about that even when it's only very minimally related to what is currently being talked about. She'll even talk about the experiences of her colleagues (in relation to her experiences) whom we don't even know. :3

Another friend has already pointed it out to her though, but I think she doesn't see the problem with it, or she just does it unconsciously, but she never changes. And maybe there really isn't any problem with it. Maybe for some people, it's not a problem, and they'll still enjoy listening to her. But for me and my other friend, it could get pretty exhausting to listen to that I simply tune out.


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## Zeri (Jan 23, 2018)

temptingthesea said:


> A close friend of mine also displays the same tendencies.
> 
> I appreciate her a lot because she's so incredibly helpful and caring, but in group conversations, I can feel myself getting annoyed because whenever one of us talks, she always finds a way to make it about herself and her own experiences. It's like she'll suddenly find something in our stories that connects with her experiences and proceeds to talk about that even when it's only very minimally related to what is currently being talked about. She'll even talk about the experiences of her colleagues (in relation to her experiences) whom we don't even know. :3
> 
> Another friend has already pointed it out to her though, but I think she doesn't see the problem with it, or she just does it unconsciously, but she never changes. And maybe there really isn't any problem with it. Maybe for some people, it's not a problem, and they'll still enjoy listening to her. But for me and my other friend, it could get pretty exhausting to listen to that I simply tune out.


That's how I feel with my friend too. ..


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## redbedroomrecords (Jul 7, 2013)

Yep I do it a lot but it's an attempt to connect/relate to and soothe the other person in the conversation. Make sure they don't feel alone.


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## Ttalkkugjil (Feb 1, 2017)

I do, and it would be difficult for me to stop. I'm just that wonderful.


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## katnip (Mar 27, 2019)

Haha @Ttalkkugjil sounds like something I would say.

I actually find myself being the listener most of the time. When I do talk about myself it's usually because I was invited to. Thinking about it now though, I've definitely excused myself when I felt I was taking the conversation away from someone else (particularly if they're talking about a personal issue... in situations like that I tend to be careful.)

I think both Fi and Fe dom/auxs can be guilty of talking about themselves though. It may just be a high Feeler thing built on wanting to connect with others.


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## Bunniculla (Jul 17, 2017)

Honestly, I find E types to generally be more likely to talk about themselves. I think it's a filtering process. E's seem to not care as much about overthinking what they should say, and society has a somewhat negative outlook on talking about oneself and it possibly seeming as being self absorbed. I'd imagine other introverts would overthink it more when they want to talk about themselves, whereas E's wouldn't overthink as much and just say what's on their mind more often, including talking about themselves.


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## threeblacksevens (Apr 11, 2019)

I’ll talk about myself a lot, but usually as a way to sort of relate to something someone else says. Like if someone mentions something they do or that happened to them, I’ll say something like “oh yeah, I get that, I do/have experienced (something similar) as well.”

I also usually like talking to people who do that as well, since when I talk with someone who asks “you” questions when someone says something about themself, I start to feel awkward cause the conversation ends up focusing way more on me than the other person, lol.


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## brightflashes (Oct 27, 2015)

I have found that those who identify as IXFP who I know IRL - have had a face to face conversation with them *all* talk incessantly about themselves. However, I don't really care. Better them talking than me. heh.

I just wonder what they're processing out loud? Isn't Fi supposed to be an internal processor?

Edit: Didn't realise until after I posted that this is supposed to be a bad thing. Self awareness is cool. I don't have any problems with people who want to talk about themselves. I find people fascinating so I don't mean in a selfish way. : )


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## redbedroomrecords (Jul 7, 2013)

brightflashes said:


> I have found that those who identify as IXFP who I know IRL - have had a face to face conversation with them *all* talk incessantly about themselves. However, I don't really care. Better them talking than me. heh.
> 
> I just wonder what they're processing out loud? Isn't Fi supposed to be an internal processor?
> 
> Edit: Didn't realise until after I posted that this is supposed to be a bad thing. Self awareness is cool. I don't have any problems with people who want to talk about themselves. I find people fascinating so I don't mean in a selfish way. : )


Ne has the need to express and understand, hence why INFPs need to outwardly process at some point. As a child and in school I was able to keep all my feelings to myself and never express anything until I exploded months later with intense anger or frustration, but in my twenties developed Ne more and now I find I need to seek advice/opinions from others (trying to contain it and go inwards but failing). IDK how it works for ISFPs, I don't really have much contact with them.


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## brightflashes (Oct 27, 2015)

ErinO said:


> Ne has the need to express and understand, hence why INFPs need to outwardly process at some point. As a child and in school I was able to keep all my feelings to myself and never express anything until I exploded months later with intense anger or frustration, but in my twenties developed Ne more and now I find I need to seek advice/opinions from others (trying to contain it and go inwards but failing). IDK how it works for ISFPs, I don't really have much contact with them.


Isn't Ne a perceiving function? I thought all they did was perceive and it was the judging function that drew the conclusions or "understood". I deffo understand about keeping feelings to yourself. I don't mind expressing mine through creative endeavour, but expressing them directly feels uncomfortable. I'll do it if I have to, but yeah.

Either way, I have noticed the focus on the self with Fi doms. But one must understand I'm working with a very small sample here and personal bias and such could cloud my judgement.


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## redbedroomrecords (Jul 7, 2013)

brightflashes said:


> Isn't Ne a perceiving function? I thought all they did was perceive and it was the judging function that drew the conclusions or "understood". I deffo understand about keeping feelings to yourself. I don't mind expressing mine through creative endeavour, but expressing them directly feels uncomfortable. I'll do it if I have to, but yeah.
> 
> Either way, I have noticed the focus on the self with Fi doms. But one must understand I'm working with a very small sample here and personal bias and such could cloud my judgement.


Ne is how we understand and take in information but Ne also determines how you communicate with the world. Ne questions everything and is searching outside for inspiration, understanding, information... it's how we rationalise, find evidence and solidify our judgements and feelings. Ne loves to share whether it be through talking verbally or creating or writing, Ni keeps everything internal. INFPs have to express to survive otherwise we will combust!


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## brightflashes (Oct 27, 2015)

ErinO said:


> Ne is how we understand and take in information but Ne also determines how you communicate with the world. Ne questions everything and is searching outside for inspiration, understanding, information... it's how we rationalise, find evidence and solidify our judgements and feelings. Ne loves to share whether it be through talking verbally or creating or writing, Ni keeps everything internal. INFPs have to express to survive otherwise we will combust!


Interesting analysis. I highly recommend Jung's Psychological Types for more information on the cognitive functions. Some have difficulty reading him, but I find his writing very clear with a charming sort of twist of humour. I suppose the best I can say back is that, as a perceiving dominant first, my experience of perception is sort of always being in this limbo, playing with all the different information but without feeling a *need* to direct it. 

I do make judgements and direct it to be coherent when I talk to people, but that brings in my judging functions which don't quite properly translate my mind into words. ::shrugs:: 

My partner is a textbook MBTI INTP (ETA: We've been together for 16 years now) and his Ne is pretty fascinating to me. The other person in my life I talk to the most (besides my kids) is an INFP but I say that applying Jungian theory of most differentiated function rather than MBTI cannon.

Bottom line: I am both fascinated and perplexed by Ne and I have a lot of experience with it, just not direct experience (that I'm aware of).


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## redbedroomrecords (Jul 7, 2013)

brightflashes said:


> Interesting analysis. I highly recommend Jung's Psychological Types for more information on the cognitive functions. Some have difficulty reading him, but I find his writing very clear with a charming sort of twist of humour. I suppose the best I can say back is that, as a perceiving dominant first, my experience of perception is sort of always being in this limbo, playing with all the different information but without feeling a *need* to direct it.
> 
> I do make judgements and direct it to be coherent when I talk to people, but that brings in my judging functions which don't quite properly translate my mind into words. ::shrugs::
> 
> ...


Thanks I'll try to give it a read at some point  It's been awhile since I've read much MBTI content.

I think because you have Ni then Te it's quite different. Fi uses Ne to gather additional information to prove or disprove our first impressions/feelings/judgements. Like you said it's all reversed, we perceive secondary to our judgements, rather than perceiving then judging. 

Ni is perplexing to me so I understand! Most of my friends and close family tend to have Ne-Si so I'm very used to that dynamic. I find communicating with Ni very difficult as it is more reflective and internal and my Ne needs more stimulation and movement particularly in conversation but I do appreciate the insights that come from Ni. 

I realise I sound more like an ENFP when describing how Ne works for me especially to super introverted people, but I am definitely an INFP, just have come out of my shell a bit more the last few years and have embraced my social side (used to score 90% introvert on personality tests but now it's 60%).


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## Dissymetry (Apr 15, 2019)

It's just E in general, seeking to share her experiences with the world. The reasons for this might be varied, maybe she is under stress and an inferior E comes out, maybe it is her normal preference I don't know but it's E.

It doesn't have anything to do with any of the functions though, I don't think, like it doesn't relate to thinking, feeling, intuition or sensation, it only really speaks to E-I, and is E and not I. 

The description Jung gives for the introverted feeling type looks like the total opposite of what you've suggested your friend is like in this thread but I don't know them so whatever. I just think it's E. I'm not saying it's dominant E or anything though, I don't know the reasons for her expressing herself in this manner, I just think it's E.

Relating everything to yourself is I of course but being a total have-a-chat about it and wanting to share your stories with everyone isn't, at least not how I-E is normally understood now.

I'm sure there is an argument for this person being an expressive and talkative introvert which explains why she does it so often and why it's always relating things to herself but I don't know.


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## brightflashes (Oct 27, 2015)

Dissymetry said:


> It's just E in general, seeking to share her experiences with the world. The reasons for this might be varied, maybe she is under stress and an inferior E comes out, maybe it is her normal preference I don't know but it's E.


Of course the expression of [topic] is E, but I would imagine that Fi doms, who are very aware of the internal layers of values and such, and spend a large amount of their time reflecting on such things, would be more prone to talk about themselves (my values, my importants, my interesting things, etc... as they would be more appealing than the other) than Ni, Si, or Ti, yes? Fi doms are experts on themselves. People tend to stick to their expertise, no?

Or, did you mean something else?


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## Dissymetry (Apr 15, 2019)

brightflashes said:


> Of course the expression of [topic] is E, but I would imagine that Fi doms, who are very aware of the internal layers of values and such, and spend a large amount of their time reflecting on such things, would be more prone to talk about themselves (my values, my importants, my interesting things, etc... as they would be more appealing than the other) than Ni, Si, or Ti, yes? Fi doms are experts on themselves. People tend to stick to their expertise, no?
> 
> Or, did you mean something else?


I don't know why they would be more prone to talk about themselves compared to other introverted types, I don't know about anything that suggests F = more talkative than S, N or T, if they all share introversion in common.

It may only be somewhat relevant, but this is from Van Der Hoops _Character And The Unconscious - A Critical Exposition Of The Psychology Of Freud And Of Jung_:



> In the extravert type, Feeling depends chiefly upon the outer world, and the individual will feel a wide range of contact between himself and his surroundings. His life will be influenced, no so much by overpowering emotions and moods, which are the expressions of non-differentiated Feeling, but by the desire to bring his perceptions, thoughts and actions into satisfactory relation with the outer world. He will readily express his feelings, and so endeavour to create a harmonious atmosphere of which he stands in urgent need.


I just think that sharing your experiences, trying to relate to or with somebody or whatever, is E not I. 
I don't think there is anything about F that would make a person with F as dominant function talk about themselves more than anyone with S, N or T as dominant function, assuming they are both introverts.


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## Zeri (Jan 23, 2018)

Just to add - the friend in question said that she got ENTJ on a test.

My Infp friend talks about herself a fair bit too....so I dunno....


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## brightflashes (Oct 27, 2015)

Dissymetry said:


> I don't know why they would be more prone to talk about themselves compared to other introverted types, I don't know about anything that suggests F = more talkative than S, N or T, if they all share introversion in common.


Perhaps I don't understand the question, then. I thought the question was when an individual talks (as most individuals with typical brain patterns do, regardless of i/e preference), why does Fi, of all the functions, have such a strong focus on the self? I was coming from that angle when I answered. 

I find it difficult to talk about my inner world so often I get very excited when I find a framework or system to explain something that I've been contemplating. I tend to talk about hmm what I notice which I am attached to personally, yes, and bring personal meaning to. However, it's not about my identity; it's more about my observations. So I would imagine, perhaps, another way to view it is that perceiving dominants would be more likely to talk about observations, possibility, etc... while judging dominants would be more inclined to talk about themselves? 

Understand I'm only coming from a theoretical stance that might explain my experiences. I'm not really that invested in this individual case. I'm just attempting to explain a pattern in a way that fits into the theory. There is a high likelihood I'm completely wrong in all of this. All I can really do is apply Jungian & Analytical theory to the subject matter at hand. 

I'm not saying these things to make a sweeping judgement and I'm not married to any conclusions I postulate here. I see them as simply explanations but maybe not THE explanation.



Dissymetry said:


> I just think that sharing your experiences, trying to relate to or with somebody or whatever, is E not I.
> I don't think there is anything about F that would make a person with F as dominant function talk about themselves more than anyone with S, N or T as dominant function, assuming they are both introverts.


Sorry, somehow didn't see this when I first responded. Yeah, I agree that the sharing part is E unless the sharing is done in a way where the individual is identifying the audience as part of themselves, but that goes into nuances that are so exceptional that I don't think it's worth it to go in that direction. 

I'm just saying that even when someone is "E"-ing, if their primary function is introverted, then they will be more likely to talk about that than anything else as that is what they're most comfortable in? 

Totally in theory, though. Not certain if this is true, but it's just a way to make sense of it for me.


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## redbedroomrecords (Jul 7, 2013)

INFP is a type that is all about the self - our filter is our personal subjective experience in this world and everything that relates to it. We are passionate about our interests and self growth and those are the things that matter to us so of course we're going to talk about it. ISFJs for example are more likely to talk about their observations on what's going on around them rather than their own subjective internal experience.


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## Zeri (Jan 23, 2018)

@ErinO -agreed


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