# Do you think there are guys that are into actual nerd girls?



## Blessed Frozen Cells (Apr 3, 2013)

psychedelicmango said:


> Lol. This talk about actual nerds is funny. Most people are nerds, have a niche and they're obsessive about.
> Anyways, if your definition of nerd is someone who enjoys positive science, then I have to tell you there's an engineering and tenchnologies university where I live, and the girls definitely get lots of attention. Lots of people there don't actually even fit the nerd stereotype, other than that they love, well, engineering. As long as someone's attracted to you physically and and you have similar interests, I don't see why you wouldn't get any sort of attention. *Even if your interests are not similar, there are way worse deal breakers for most people than a girl who likes discussing programming. *It depends on your 'target group' too, of course.


I agree with that. My partner and I are quite the opposite although we are both "nerds". He's all hardware and practical. I'm all software and analytical. I'm a PC person and he's all console. And so on to every little interest that we both have. We have almost nothing in common and that's what made us interested in each other. He has qualities that I don't have and I admire him for it and vice versa.

I do yap about my programming fails all the time and he understands none of it and he talks about his hardware stuff and it's like he's speaking to me in some Alien language. But that what's fascinating about it  Each of us having the ability that the other cannot comprehend.


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## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

dulcinea said:


> Actually, though, hypothetically speaking, if you knew a girl who was a hardcore nerd and was stunningly gorgeous, would you find her extremely intimidating, and would never approach her?
> 
> I'm curious to hear thoughts.


It wouldn't be more intimidating, probably the same or possibly less. "Hardcore nerds" tend to be pretty easy going people, or at least not judgemental. So probably a bit easier to approach. Plus they'd probably be more likely to value my own nerdy or strange tendencies. I may even watch the calculus lecture with her, though I'd personally prefer one on another subject.


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## dulcinea (Aug 22, 2011)

It may just be an aspect of the area where I live. I live in south Louisiana where education is absolutely NOT valued.

I've noticed that most of the guys I've attracted are from--somewhere else.


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

Mostly girls who look nerdy, while simultaneously looking hot and sexy, since looks are the most important aspect in dating..


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## flummoxed (Jun 29, 2015)

Children Of The Bad Revolution said:


> Mostly girls who look nerdy, while simultaneously looking hot and sexy, since looks are the most important aspect in dating..


Yeah pretty much let's just go ahead and admit it. If you're hot guys are going to like you no matter what your interests are and if you're ugly guys aren't going to care no matter what your interests are. This whole discussion lies entirely within a narrow band of 4-6 level attractiveness where having incredibly compatible interests might be just enough to push you over the edge.

I know it's popular to make it out like nerds (mostly guys) can't get dates because they have boring interests, but that's not the real reason, it's mostly just because your typical nerd is very physically unattractive. I think it's pretty safe to say that many guys who become nerds do so simply because they have to find a new interest for their time other than simply chasing women who have no interest. Yeah, engineering can be sexy, but it's never going to be as sexy as that blond bombshell next door. I'm sure most male nerds would drop all their nerdy interests if they suddenly found themselves with a girlfriend to spend time with instead of a computer gaming guild.


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## Sygma (Dec 19, 2014)

dulcinea said:


> A warning tho: there is some truth to the above poster's cartoon. For me, though it isn't with comic books, and stuff. It's with logic and science. If you say something that makes no sense to support a point.. it irritates me, and, if I know you well enough, I have to say something.
> 
> Someone said once that the first law of thermodynamics, for instance, doesn't apply to outer space, and that's why it's so orderly, and I didn't know them well enough to call them out on it, but I was thinking "That doesn't make any sense! The first law of thermodynamics, if anything, applies more in space. How else can starts create these giant fusion reactions and convert so much mass into so much energy? Also the universe is chaotic in places. In the center of trillions of galaxies, trillions of red giants are going supernova as we speak, as the revolve around supermassive black holes, not to mention the not too uncommon even of entire galaxies colliding into each other, creating massive astronomical explosions we can't even begin to comprehend....
> 
> I think my personality is kinda mashup of Daria, Bones, and Dana Scully--actually I kinda wish I was as cool as Scully. I am a skeptic that speaks my mind like her though


And we re here, wondering how to reduce the damage done to the ozone layer. Isn't it sad ? hah


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

flummoxed said:


> Yeah pretty much let's just go ahead and admit it. If you're hot guys are going to like you no matter what your interests are and if you're ugly guys aren't going to care no matter what your interests are. This whole discussion lies entirely within a narrow band of 4-6 level attractiveness where having incredibly compatible interests might be just enough to push you over the edge.


Basically - but that doesn't mean it will be a decent relationship as it will be based on lust. Which isn't a good foundation for a relationship. If that's what one is looking for, anyway.


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

Children Of The Bad Revolution said:


> Basically - but that doesn't mean it will be a decent relationship as it will be based on lust. Which isn't a good foundation for a relationship. If that's what one is looking for, anyway.


I know of plenty successful relationships that started off as one night stands. Some guys argue that without sex, it's almost impossible to get to know someone and bond together - the sooner the better. I guess that's one of the key differences between how the two operate. Men are more upfront about what they want, and generally more visual, but because of all those silly rituals, they downplay it.


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

WamphyriThrall said:


> I know of plenty successful relationships that started off as one night stands. Some guys argue that without sex, it's almost impossible to get to know someone and bond together - the sooner the better. I guess that's one of the key differences between how the two operate. Men are more upfront about what they want, and generally more visual, but because of all those silly rituals, they downplay it.


Well, tbh that sounds like BS to me lol. Or lines. 

They may want sex straight away because of carnal desire; but to say it's 'impossible' to get to know someone better without it? So not true. If two people want sex straight away, that's cool but under the guise of getting to know each other? Come on lol It's sex. You're not finding out about each other's history by doing that.

I'd be fine with that; just not under the impression they're trying to find more about me when actually, they don't care or just want sex.


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

Children Of The Bad Revolution said:


> Well, tbh that sounds like BS to me lol. Or lines.
> 
> They may want sex straight away because of carnal desire; but to say it's 'impossible' to get to know someone better without it? So not true. If two people want sex straight away, that's cool but under the guise of getting to know each other? Come on lol It's sex. You're not finding out about each other's history by doing that.
> 
> I'd be fine with that; just not under the impression they're trying to find more about me when actually, they don't care or just want sex.


They've argued that since sex is one of the most personal acts you can share with someone, what better way is there to get to the core of another person than with sex? Sexual compatibility also seemed to be a huge part of it, and many said they wouldn't be in a relationship with someone who had other preferences than themselves. It goes without saying that if sex suddenly stopped, they'd probably drop their partner, or cheat, too.


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## muslamicinfidel (Aug 2, 2015)

I am. Problem is i end up getting friend zoned by them.


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## BlueG (Jun 2, 2011)

If you're worried about men not being into you because you're nerdy, you clearly haven't taken a university physics class (or math class that is beyond the first class in the calculus sequence). 

My partner is a nerd when it comes to video games or comics, but is NOT into math or science. He'll let me ramble and he really likes that I like it but if I was a 70 year old professor talking to him, I know he'd be bored out of his fucking mind. I can be an intense person so he did say he was nervous about fucking up while approaching me, so he did it gradually during a class we both took. So yes, they exist and they don't even need to be explicitly into the subjects themselves, but I do think there needs to be a level of physical attraction there.


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

WamphyriThrall said:


> They've argued that since sex is one of the most personal acts you can share with someone, what better way is there to get to the core of another person than with sex? Sexual compatibility also seemed to be a huge part of it, and many said they wouldn't be in a relationship with someone who had other preferences than themselves. It goes without saying that if sex suddenly stopped, they'd probably drop their partner, or cheat, too.


I'm sorry I think that's BS personally. It's an easy way to demand that of someone to 'get to know someone' and then like you say, what happens when one doesn't want to have sex yet? They conveniently don't like that person anymore? They bounce? Men just try that sh*t. lol 

You can have more personal experiences with someone else without sticking your dick inside them. The aim for sex is an orgasm/pleasure, not to find what my favourite movie or book is. Unless you're talking about your life story during sex, how does that work?

Like I said, I wouldn't mind having sex with someone very early in a relationship but don't act like you want to know my history when you just want to get a leg over.


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

Children Of The Bad Revolution said:


> I'm sorry I think that's BS personally. It's an easy way to demand that of someone to 'get to know someone' and then like you say, what happens when one doesn't want to have sex yet? They conveniently don't like that person anymore? They bounce? Men just try that sh*t. lol
> 
> You can have more personal experiences with someone else without sticking your dick inside them. The aim for sex is an orgasm/pleasure, not to find what my favourite movie or book is. Unless you're talking about your life story during sex, how does that work?
> 
> Like I said, I wouldn't mind having sex with someone very early in a relationship but don't act like you want to know my history when you just want to get a leg over.


*shrugs* It might be true like you said, and most of these guys were gay or bisexual. Obviously, the dating and love scenes are quite different than with heterosexuals (just look how horrified most straight men and women are when they hear of anal). Views on things like polygamy, cheating, and casual sex are more male-centric.

I've never subscribed to this line of thought, and wouldn't want to feel pressured, but do appreciate the directness. I'm just going by what a few older folk have told me, and generational differences might play a part, since these things were generally more "underground" decades ago. 

And I'm not sure it's demanding, if both people are meeting somewhere with the expectation that most others there are looking for sex. Totally different than meeting someone on campus and springing it on them.


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

WamphyriThrall said:


> *shrugs* It might be true like you said, and most of these guys were gay or bisexual. Obviously, the dating and love scenes are quite different than with heterosexuals (just look how horrified most straight men and women are when they hear of anal). Views on things like polygamy, cheating, and casual sex are more male-centric.
> 
> I've never subscribed to this line of thought, and wouldn't want to feel pressured, but do appreciate the directness. I'm just going by what a few older folk have told me, and generational differences might play a part, since these things were generally more "underground" decades ago.
> 
> And I'm not sure it's demanding, if both people are meeting somewhere with the expectation that most others there are looking for sex. Totally different than meeting someone on campus and springing it on them.


I don't think most straight men and some straight women are horrified by anal at all...but I digress.

I agree with the end part of the post but it doesn't mean someone automatically wants sex being in a club environment or such like. I'm not surprised with what you've said in your other posts; a lot of men unfortunately think they can manipulate sex out of a woman or someone by playing with their emotions and making them feel it is expected of them. Speaking from experience, personally. It's pretty sad.


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## BlueG (Jun 2, 2011)

Children Of The Bad Revolution said:


> I'm sorry I think that's BS personally. It's an easy way to demand that of someone to 'get to know someone' and then like you say, what happens when one doesn't want to have sex yet? They conveniently don't like that person anymore? They bounce? Men just try that sh*t. lol
> 
> You can have more personal experiences with someone else without sticking your dick inside them. The aim for sex is an orgasm/pleasure, not to find what my favourite movie or book is. Unless you're talking about your life story during sex, how does that work?
> 
> Like I said, I wouldn't mind having sex with someone very early in a relationship but don't act like you want to know my history when you just want to get a leg over.


Agreed. It's not like the penis is a USB.


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

BlueG said:


> Agreed. It's not like the penis is a USB.


LOL win <3

It reminds me of when an ex of mine said, after a few weeks when we were having a bit of a situation, that he could tell I was upset because "he knew me". I was like, because you've stuck your dick in me a few times means you "know me"?? No..

I guess it also works on the flip side that you could be intimate during sex and ultimately, know absolutely nothing about them at all. People can lie; what's their defence against that?


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## Loaf (Mar 27, 2014)

Yes, I do think they exist.


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

Children Of The Bad Revolution said:


> I don't think most straight men and some straight women are horrified by anal at all...but I digress.
> 
> I agree with the end part of the post but it doesn't mean someone automatically wants sex being in a club environment or such like. I'm not surprised with what you've said in your other posts; a lot of men unfortunately think they can manipulate sex out of a woman or someone by playing with their emotions and making them feel it is expected of them. Speaking from experience, personally. It's pretty sad.


People should just be upfront about their expectations and preferences, so no one feels pressured or duped down the line. If someone weren't comfortable with sex before a few months or years, I'd rather know so as to not waste time. 

Have you heard of the term "meat market"? If two people decide to leave together for a bit of fun, I'm pretty sure it's clear what's on their minds! You'd have to be pretty naive to think people go there for serious love, although it does happen in rare cases, like I've just mentioned.


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## HisPar (Jul 15, 2015)

There are men who are into ribs, and there are those that are into pizza. Some like to tell standard time, and others like to tell military time. Some like duller chicks and others like really smart ones. There is such of variety of men in this world that of course there's someone who would be interested in a nerdy girl. 
As for girls who are a little on the intimidating side (which there are), with time I think that if a guy sees the value in her he will eventually approach. It's just a matter of having persistence and patience. Goodluck.


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## Children Of The Bad Revolution (Oct 8, 2013)

WamphyriThrall said:


> People should just be upfront about their expectations and preferences, so no one feels pressured or duped down the line. If someone weren't comfortable with sex before a few months or years, I'd rather know so as to not waste time.
> 
> Have you heard of the term "meat market"? If two people decide to leave together for a bit of fun, I'm pretty sure it's clear what's on their minds! You'd have to be pretty naive to think people go there for serious love, although it does happen in rare cases, like I've just mentioned.


I've heard of it but I don't think I'm automatically up on the meat market for going to a club but it depends what kind of club I guess lol. I agree, people should be upfront about their intentions but sadly, they aren't.


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

I feel like I'm a little bit of a poser nerd. (Really though. This is completely relative. There are guys who have pegged me as full blown nerd. Haha. Though not in a bad way necessarily. I think it usually comes as a little bit of a surprise too because I don't know if I match the expected packaging). I come from a kinda nerdy family though  My dad's an engineer (or advisory systems architect officially at this point), I have uncles and grandparents who are engineers, my 80 year old grandma is a gamer, lol.

My cousin probably more fits your description though. She majored in engineering too and now she's a math teacher. She met her husband on WoW, true story. They lived across the country from each other but they just moved to be together after tying the knot. He was apparently pretty impressed


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## flummoxed (Jun 29, 2015)

WamphyriThrall said:


> I know of plenty successful relationships that started off as one night stands. Some guys argue that without sex, it's almost impossible to get to know someone and bond together - the sooner the better. I guess that's one of the key differences between how the two operate. Men are more upfront about what they want, and generally more visual, but because of all those silly rituals, they downplay it.


I can't believe someone would actually believe that. :laughin:


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

flummoxed said:


> I can't believe someone would actually believe that. :laughin:


All of my relationships started as casual sex.


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

flummoxed said:


> I can't believe someone would actually believe that. :laughin:


I'm not sure why someone who has been together with his partner for over twenty years would lie about something like that (especially when he's otherwise sincere, knowledgeable, and compassionate). 

Maybe you just can't comprehend someone who operates differently from you?


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## flummoxed (Jun 29, 2015)

Veggie said:


> All of my relationships started as casual sex.


*Status:*Single


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

flummoxed said:


> *Status:*Single


And? One of those relationships lasted almost a decade and we were engaged. The other lasted two years and we're still friends.

What defines a successful relationship? They all end eventually, by death if nothing else.

I tried a relationship without doing the casual sex first and it lasted for about three weeks and ended in what felt like bad blood.


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## Carpentet810 (Nov 17, 2013)

Veggie said:


> And? One of those relationships lasted almost a decade and we were engaged. The other lasted two years and we're still friends.
> 
> What defines a successful relationship? They all end eventually, by death if nothing else.
> 
> I tried a relationship without doing the casual sex first and it lasted for about three weeks and ended in what felt like bad blood.


Sounds like friends with benefits.


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## flummoxed (Jun 29, 2015)

Veggie said:


> And? One of those relationships lasted almost a decade and we were engaged. The other lasted two years and we're still friends.


At any rate it doesn't make it any less bullshit for a man to say he needs to have sex to really get to know someone. That's just plain not true and very likely just a trick to get a girl into bed. If you want to have casual sex then nobody is stopping you, but that doesn't mean casual sex is a requirement for a relationship.


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

Carpentet810 said:


> Sounds like friends with benefits.


It sounds like my fiancé who I lived with for four years was a friend with benefits? Lol.


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## Carpentet810 (Nov 17, 2013)

Veggie said:


> It sounds like my fiancé who I lived with for four years was a friend with benefits? Lol.


Yes. I know roomies who did that. They even told their families they were in a serious relationship so no one would look at them oddly. I only knew them 3 years though.


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

flummoxed said:


> At any rate it doesn't make it any less bullshit for a man to say he needs to have sex to really get to know someone. That's just plain not true and very likely just a trick to get a girl into bed. If you want to have casual sex then nobody is stopping you, but that doesn't mean casual sex is a requirement for a relationship.


I actually think this same exact thing. I do need to have sex with someone to really get to know them. You learn non-sexual things about people this way too. Things they try to hide from you until you're already committed. How giving they are, how spontaneous they are, how controlling they are, etc. 

Aren't we defending the autonomy of "girls" on this thread? Celebrating it? We aren't just a bunch of jackasses getting tricked into having sex. A lot of the time women have sex because they want to.


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

Carpentet810 said:


> Yes. I know roomies who did that. They even told their families they were in a serious relationship so no one would look at them oddly. I only knew them 3 years though.


Were they engaged to be married? Did the dude buy her an expensive engagement ring? Lol. You're really set on this...

I'm actually happy this is happening on this thread.

"Nerdy" chicks - are you sure you want the nerdy dudes? They often have the stern condescending ego of David Hasselhoff without the looks or money.


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## flummoxed (Jun 29, 2015)

Veggie said:


> Aren't we defending the autonomy of "girls" on this thread? Celebrating it? We aren't just a bunch of jackasses getting tricked into having sex. A lot of the time women have sex because they want to.


Right, but if you want to have sex then just have sex, don't try to justify it with some sort of higher purpose. It's pathetic how many people try to pretend they have sex for this reason or that and are scared to admit they have sex because they enjoy it.


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## Carpentet810 (Nov 17, 2013)

Veggie said:


> Were they engaged to be married? Did the dude buy her an expensive engagement ring? Lol. You're really set on this...
> 
> I'm actually happy this is happening on this thread.
> 
> "Nerdy" chicks - are you sure you want the nerdy dudes? They often have the stern condescending ego of David Hasselhoff without the looks or money.


They did the whole 9 yards including going to their folks houses for lunch. Fascinating people. They were in the process of "splitting up" and coming up with a good matching script when I moved away.


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## flummoxed (Jun 29, 2015)

Carpentet810 said:


> They did the whole 9 yards including going to their folks houses for lunch. Fascinating people. They were in the process of "splitting up" and coming up with a good matching script when I moved away.


It's amazing the lengths people will go to try and convince the world that they don't have the same sort of sexual desires we all have but also try to hide. This is an amazing and somewhat fun example, but some end up being far more malicious (such as the woman crying rape the day after a one night stand).


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

flummoxed said:


> Right, but if you want to have sex then just have sex, don't try to justify it with some sort of higher purpose. It's pathetic how many people try to pretend they have sex for this reason or that and are scared to admit they have sex because they enjoy it.


I'm not pretending. I will absolutely form a relationship from casual sex if it's good casual sex. I won't have casual sex with just anyone either. Only if that potential is there.

Yea. Enjoying sex is important too. Which is why you should make sure you enjoy it with someone first before committing to them in some way ;P


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

Carpentet810 said:


> They did the whole 9 yards including going to their folks houses for lunch. Fascinating people. They were in the process of "splitting up" and coming up with a good matching script when I moved away.


That sounds really weird. I don't know why you're projecting the example of your really weird friends onto other engaged couples. 

They were probably the exception and not the rule?


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## flummoxed (Jun 29, 2015)

Veggie said:


> Yea. Enjoying sex is important too. Which is why you should make sure you enjoy it with someone first before committing to them in some way ;P


I don't really see it that way. If you like a person and then the sex is terrible you can still be friends. Hell, you can still get married and everything because most people stop caring nearly so much about sex as they grow older and more mature.


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

flummoxed said:


> I don't really see it that way. If you like a person and then the sex is terrible you can still be friends. Hell, you can still get married and everything because most people stop caring nearly so much about sex as they grow older and more mature.


I would never marry someone I have bad sex with. I could be friends with them potentially though, sure, but I wouldn't commit myself exclusively to something that wasn't special. Why would you do that?

Sex separates friend and SO territory. If I'm going to marry one friend why not marry them all? What's the point?


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## flummoxed (Jun 29, 2015)

Veggie said:


> I would never marry someone I have bad sex with. I could be friends with them potentially though, sure, but I wouldn't commit myself exclusively to something that wasn't special. Why would you do that?


I just don't care enough about sex for it to really matter. I don't get why bad sex should be enough to keep you away from someone that you are otherwise deeply compatible with.


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## Morfy (Dec 3, 2013)

YES.
ME.
It'd be freaking amazing but most of those girls are way out of my league.


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

flummoxed said:


> I just don't care enough about sex for it to really matter. I don't get why bad sex should be enough to keep you away from someone that you are otherwise deeply compatible with.


I'm compatible with a lot of people. I used this example before too, and it's hella gross, but I feel like it helps to drive a point home. I'm intellectually compatible with people like my brother, lol. Sorry dudes, but yes, sex is important to a lot of women.


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

flummoxed said:


> I just don't care enough about sex for it to really matter. I don't get why bad sex should be enough to keep you away from someone that you are otherwise deeply compatible with.


Uhm, because for some people it's more of a priority? Not to say it's all they care about (some do), but if they have a high sex drive, or consider it an essential part of a relationship, and I'm sure there are other examples. 

It doesn't make a person immature, shallow, unhinged, or anything like that. I used to think that way, simply because it was harder for me to relate to, but it works for them, so why not.


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## flummoxed (Jun 29, 2015)

Veggie said:


> I'm compatible with a lot of people. I used this example before too, and it's hella gross, but I feel like it helps to drive a point home. I'm intellectually compatible with people like my brother, lol. Sorry dudes, but yes, sex is important to a lot of women.


Of course there are a lot of women like that and there are also a lot of women who don't place that sort of emphasis on sex. I have no interest in the former sort of woman and I'm not some huge outlier so it's certainly true it's possible to get to know someone without sticking your penis inside them.



WamphyriThrall said:


> It doesn't make a person immature, shallow, unhinged, or anything like that. I used to think that way, simply because it was harder for me to relate to, but it works for them, so why not.


It does if they place sex above other important attributes and end up with the wrong sort of person as a result. For instance if you're someone who considers sex to be very important and your partner likely agrees then you're obviously setting yourself up to be cheated on in the future since you will get older and your partner will want to find someone younger and newer. Sex isn't a stable thing to base a relationship on at all because sex appeal is incredibly fading (especially for women).


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

flummoxed said:


> Of course there are a lot of women like that and there are also a lot of women who don't place that sort of emphasis on sex. I have no interest in the former sort of woman and I'm not some huge outlier so it's certainly true it's possible to get to know someone without sticking your penis inside them.


Sure. But then they can become your brother. I don't want to fuck my brother :/ I don't think that's a bad thing?!


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

If we want to get super weird and uh...nerdy  ...I actually got to a point once where I was so disgusted by dudes and their lack of balls that I legitimately wondered if I were living on the mystical island of Lemnos and if I had managed to tap into the duality only to find that "Adam" was actually my sister, and that real men were living in another dimension.


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## IDontThinkSo (Aug 24, 2011)

Actually, I struggle to find a woman nerdy enough. I mean someone who's a real pioneer with larger than life intellectual obsessions.


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## Toru Okada (May 10, 2011)

Veggie said:


> Sure. But then they can become your brother. I don't want to fuck my brother :/ I don't think that's a bad thing?!


"You're like a brother to me"

If words were nuclear missiles.


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

Gore Motel said:


> "You're like a brother to me"
> 
> If words were nuclear missiles.


Dude. If behavior were nuclear missiles.

I'm really not sympathetic to this game anymore. Do you think women want Rocksteady or Beebop over Krang? Of course not. Krangs don't know how to man the fuck up though.


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## flummoxed (Jun 29, 2015)

Veggie said:


> I'm really not sympathetic to this game anymore. Do you think women want Rocksteady or Beebop over Krang? Of course not. Krangs don't know how to man the fuck up though.


At least you admit it. :tongue:


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## Toru Okada (May 10, 2011)

Veggie said:


> Dude. If behavior were nuclear missiles.
> 
> I'm really not sympathetic to this game anymore. Do you think women want Rocksteady or Beebop over Krang? Of course not. Krangs don't know how to man the fuck up though.


I have no idea what you're referring to, but I think I understand. I'm not sure if a lot of guys know how to man up when they start dating, though. I was completely clueless and had to go by trial-and-lots-of-error.


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## flummoxed (Jun 29, 2015)

Gore Motel said:


> I have no idea what you're referring to, but I think I understand. I'm not sure if a lot of guys know how to man up when they start dating, though. I was completely clueless and had to go by trial-and-lots-of-error.


She wants the alphas, not your sorry beta butt but even the alphas can't keep up with her. :tongue:


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## Korra (Feb 28, 2015)

dulcinea said:


> Actually, though, hypothetically speaking, if you knew a girl who was a hardcore nerd and was stunningly gorgeous, would you find her extremely intimidating, and would never approach her?


The thought of this does sound rather appealing, but at the same time, I might feel a little inadequate for her. Like, do I truly deserve someone that smart? Silly I know, but I could be stuck thinking that she could be with someone else just as smart and achieve great things. Meanwhile, I just wanna explore the world and get caught up with the cultures. Basically, I might be a hindrance to any potential she'd like to pursue. 

However still, knowing someone like that sounds pretty cool and might even try to get into the stuff she's into, like coding (which I always try to get into but tend to stop after awhile...)


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## MatchaBlizzard (Sep 20, 2011)

I'm fine with an actual nerd who is cute. Sounds good actually. Not into calculus myself. I guess it depends a lot, right? There is a wide world of nerd out there. I like pen and paper RPGs, PC\video games, Tolkien, Dr. Who, etc... but on some things it's hard to say flat out, right? I like a little bit of DC, but I'm way more Marvel. Star Trek (depends on the series and season -original mostly yay! -TNG sometimes, DS9 - late seasons are good, but Babylon 5 is better -Voyager sucks! -Enterprise also pretty much sucks.) Star Wars 4-6 are great. Episode 1 = crap, Episode 2 = worse than crap, Episode 3 = well, it's better than 1 & 2, but that's not saying much! Nerd opinion can get pretty gritty sometimes. I'm picky on anime too. That comic someone posted earlier was funny in a kind of sad but true way. You could meet someone of likes a-whole-nother set of nerd things with little or no crossover and end up hating each other's interests in an odd way while both being legit nerds.

There are some nerds (guy or girl) that I cannot stand. We may have similar interests, but they are exacting, rules-lawyering, know-it-all, needy, show-off, douches. They manage to take all the fun out of things I really like that I thought we could enjoy together due to similar interests; either because of narcissism or another insecurity related to their identity as a person and sometimes furthermore as a nerd or authoritative individual in an area or knowledge or passion. It's sad.

On the other hand, as long as there is room for difference of opinion, I see nerd as an extremely positive adjective when attached to a girl I'm interested in. Feel like got sort of off topic a little bit in part of this post, anyway... if someone hated all my nerd interests, I'd have a lot less to share and talk about. I guess I associate it with a love of creativity too, which is something I find very worthwhile in a relationship. If everything is settled and just-so, where's the fun? Instead you have to avoid breaking the unwritten relationship rules. I'm all for dating one person at a time, no cheating, etc... not asking for freedom to be a dick, just generally asking for a give and take that can fluidly adapt to life's challenges and allow people to look at the world in new and fun ways.

Nerd girls = usually a win. There are always exceptions.


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## jehosafats (Feb 23, 2013)

nerdy girls are purty girls


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## JoetheBull (Apr 29, 2010)

I will have to say depends on how I get along with the said nerdy woman. It's definitely not a turn off (more of a turn on). But my success with nerdy women has been just as terrible as with normal or other type of women. I once got rejected by a woman for not being geeky or nerdy enough. It kind of strange since the opposite is more usual to happen.


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## Killionaire (Oct 13, 2009)

I appreciate smart girls very much. I have little or no interest in shallow, superficial, vapid, stupid girls who talk about stupid things like their makeup collection and their "shopping hauls." I resent that you insult smart people by calling them "nerds." Smart people tend to be better looking than average and stupid people. And I also value smart girls because I want to have smart kids. I would consider a stupid girl to be genetically unfit to reproduce with me. I don't want to have stupid kids at all! The notion that most smart people are unattractive is a myth and it's bullshit. When I went to school, the smart people were generally good looking. Stupid people are often ugly. I also read an article that said beautiful people also tend to be considerably smarter than average.

Here's an article for you: "Beautiful people really are more intelligent."

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo.../beautiful-people-really-are-more-intelligent


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## Frenetic Tranquility (Aug 5, 2011)

dulcinea said:


> When I say actual nerd girls, I don't just mean some cute girl that reads, manga, plays Zelda, watches Doctor Who, and posts on Tumbr. Well, don't get me wrong, as a hardcore nerd I do some of these things too haha.
> 
> I mean the kind of girl who would absolutely not mind spending her Friday or Saturday evening, some weeks, kicking back and working on a software program, watching a calculus lecture, playing around with Arduino or rasperry pi, is considering getting into engineering...stuff like that. And, is not bad looking. Not a beauty queen, but not a plain jane either, rather pretty or cute.
> 
> ...


If by into, you mean I consistently find myself fantasizing about a particular protrusion of my body being thrust into this type of girl, then the magic 8 ball says yes.


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## Frenetic Tranquility (Aug 5, 2011)

Veggie said:


> I would never marry someone I have bad sex with. I could be friends with them potentially though, sure, but I wouldn't commit myself exclusively to something that wasn't special. Why would you do that?
> 
> Sex separates friend and SO territory. If I'm going to marry one friend why not marry them all? What's the point?


If you are going to marry one good sex partner, why not marry them all?


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## Frenetic Tranquility (Aug 5, 2011)

Veggie said:


> I'm compatible with a lot of people. I used this example before too, and it's hella gross, but I feel like it helps to drive a point home. I'm intellectually compatible with people like my brother, lol. Sorry dudes, but yes, sex is important to a lot of women.


Sex is mechanical, and can be fixed with practice. However, you "can't fix stupid" as they say.


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

flummoxed said:


> It does if they place sex above other important attributes and end up with the wrong sort of person as a result. For instance if you're someone who considers sex to be very important and your partner likely agrees then you're obviously setting yourself up to be cheated on in the future since you will get older and your partner will want to find someone younger and newer. Sex isn't a stable thing to base a relationship on at all because sex appeal is incredibly fading (especially for women).


Why do you assume enjoying sex automatically makes someone destined to cheat (or be cheated on)? And even if this were true, would it be any worse than people who cheat (or are cheated on) due to other reasons? Every person and every relationship is different: some couples have sex more frequently than others, or place more importance on the act. I'm not everyone, so I'm unqualified to say what's best for them.


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## Diogenes (Jun 30, 2011)

There are guys out there who are into obese dwarf amputees with schizophrenia so I don't think "nerd girls" is too exotic of a group to be exempt from male attraction.


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## Killionaire (Oct 13, 2009)

...


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## 66393 (Oct 17, 2013)

This is such a stupid question. Of course guys are into what you dub 'actual need girls.' Unless you are in high school where the majority of people are concerned with frivolous things like popularity I don't see this being a problem. 

Source: I'm a CompSi major and have plenty of female acquaintances who are passionate EE's, software engineers, and mathematicians. Smarter men tend to seek out these types of girls. High quality people are attracted to other high quality people.


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## Sygma (Dec 19, 2014)

flummoxed said:


> It's amazing the lengths people will go to try and convince the world that they don't have the same sort of sexual desires we all have but also try to hide. This is an amazing and somewhat fun example, but some end up being far more malicious (such as the woman crying rape the day after a one night stand).


You should try to get some one day instead of being that forceful about people who give affection physically, thus needing to be in the bed and see if it's there or not

I'd like to pinpoint that, as INFJ, intimacy is kind of the holy grail for us and we need something very special because, it's not just sex. It's a way to truly give who you are if you want to. Most of us don't open up to the possibility that easily, there's a potential as Veggie mentionned, and well, we try.



> I actually think this same exact thing. I do need to have sex with someone to really get to know them.


Same. It's not possible to be with someone you don't have compatible sex with. The share. The connection. The hands and the maneers. There's so much said only with how a person behave physically when in intimacy


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## mangodelic psycho (Jan 12, 2015)

flummoxed said:


> Right, but if you want to have sex then just have sex, don't try to justify it with some sort of higher purpose. It's pathetic how many people try to pretend they have sex for this reason or that and are scared to admit they have sex because they enjoy it





flummoxed said:


> Of course there are a lot of women like that and there are also a lot of women who don't place that sort of emphasis on sex. I have no interest in the former sort of woman and I'm not some huge outlier so it's certainly true it's possible to get to know someone without sticking your penis inside them.
> 
> 
> It does if they place sex above other important attributes and end up with the wrong sort of person as a result. For instance if you're someone who considers sex to be very important and your partner likely agrees then you're obviously setting yourself up to be cheated on in the future since you will get older and your partner will want to find someone younger and newer. Sex isn't a stable thing to base a relationship on at all because sex appeal is incredibly fading (especially for women).


So, people are cowards for not admitting they like sex, but then considering physical compatibility and sex as imporant attributes of a relationship is bad because that attitude makes you end up with the wrong person and get cheated on because it means you choose the hot ones over the clever ones; sex appeal is basically only how hot you are and looks fade, _especially for women_, which means that a hot husband will cheat on you no matter what, because, sexual people are animals. Which basically means I have to find an asexual and undesirable man I am compatible with otherwise (I can have intellectual conversations with). Yeah, makes total sense.


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## SoulScream (Sep 17, 2012)

dulcinea said:


> When I say actual nerd girls, I don't just mean some cute girl that reads, manga, plays Zelda, watches Doctor Who, and posts on Tumbr. Well, don't get me wrong, as a hardcore nerd I do some of these things too haha.
> 
> I mean the kind of girl who would absolutely not mind spending her Friday or Saturday evening, some weeks, kicking back and working on a software program, watching a calculus lecture, playing around with Arduino or rasperry pi, is considering getting into engineering...stuff like that. And, is not bad looking. Not a beauty queen, but not a plain jane either, rather pretty or cute.
> 
> ...


Those girls are special creatures that are pretty hard to find. Trust me I have spent my life searching for one  Playing Zelda and watching Doctor Who does not make you nerdy  

As for the hypothetical situation you present - I would approach without ever thinking I have chances. Might win a gorgeous friend though which still counts for something in my world.


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## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

No.

Take it from an INTJ girl, the answer is simply no.

Various studies have already proven that nerdy women are at the bottom of the list as most desirable. Usually, the more intelligent the last they end up. More adventurous, ditzy types are usually around the first pick.

Any ''nerdy'' girls are dumbing themselves to fit the ideal. Many times I've had to do this; men don't want to discuss quantum physics on a first date or in the bedroom. 

Keepin' it real, peoples. Stop sugarcoating.


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

dulcinea said:


> When I say actual nerd girls, I don't just mean some cute girl that reads, manga, plays Zelda, watches Doctor Who, and posts on Tumbr. Well, don't get me wrong, as a hardcore nerd I do some of these things too haha.
> 
> I mean the kind of girl who would absolutely not mind spending her Friday or Saturday evening, some weeks, kicking back and working on a software program, watching a calculus lecture, playing around with Arduino or rasperry pi, is considering getting into engineering...stuff like that. And, is not bad looking. Not a beauty queen, but not a plain jane either, rather pretty or cute.
> 
> ...



i would marry one
the main reason why vbob's are single is all's i be meatin are needy, clingy femme fatale's 
if these chickypoo's do exist they seldom go out in public


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

SoulScream said:


> Playing Zelda and watching Doctor Who does not make you nerdy


I agree, I was gonna say, "nerd" usually refers to someone with an obsessive interest, typically academically-oriented. I think nerdiness and geekiness are even sometimes fetishized in society so it wouldn't surprise me if there's a solid population of guys who are looking for that.  

Personally, I have nothing against them as long as it's a common interest. Or if our interests are close enough we can learn from each others' interests because I have some academic-type interests myself. I'm not too familiar with engineering so I can't see connecting initially if her nerdiness is completely about engineering and computers. I'd have nothing to say. Lol. Any extroverted engineer nerd girls?


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## mangodelic psycho (Jan 12, 2015)

Flamingo said:


> No.
> 
> Take it from an INTJ girl, the answer is simply no.
> 
> ...


Umm, not discussing quantum physics on a first date (which purpose is to get to know someone, it's ok but if that's the only discussion you're going to have) or in the bedroom (lmao that's fun actually) is not "dumbing yourself", it's common sense, and being aware of the social situation and the person you're with. If you're only capable of talking quantum phyics that doesn't make you a nerd, it makes you weird, which is not that uncommon either, and from personal experience, I can say some guys really like (also weirdos) thankfully or I'd be alone forever.


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## Spirit Dancer (Jul 30, 2010)

It doesn't really matter whether or not you are a serious 'nerd' so long as you are attracted to each other, have common interests, values, directions in life and your personalities don't clash. 

Also, I'm with @_psychedelicmango_ - if the other person has no interest in quantum physics, why would you talk about it on a first date? Communication and social intelligence are important too.


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## Sygma (Dec 19, 2014)

Flamingo said:


> No.
> 
> Take it from an INTJ girl, the answer is simply no.
> 
> ...


My INTJ ex was smart but had a lot of apathy and when she wanted to talk about time travel or elements related to science she just never referenced anything scientific at all, just animes and "consequences". It still led to talk about parallel timelines and whatnot but yeah .. smart is hot.


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## Carpentet810 (Nov 17, 2013)

ninjahitsawall said:


> I agree, I was gonna say, "nerd" usually refers to someone with an obsessive interest, typically academically-oriented. I think nerdiness and geekiness are even sometimes fetishized in society so it wouldn't surprise me if there's a solid population of guys who are looking for that.
> 
> Personally, I have nothing against them as long as it's a common interest. Or if our interests are close enough we can learn from each others' interests because I have some academic-type interests myself. I'm not too familiar with engineering so I can't see connecting initially if her nerdiness is completely about engineering and computers. I'd have nothing to say. Lol. Any extroverted engineer nerd girls?


Yes the movie watchers are considered Dorks.


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## AriesLilith (Jan 6, 2013)

Being a nerd does not necessarily mean that someone is only nerdy. Being in the IT world, I can tell that programmers are not necessarily your cave creature only in front of their shiny screens without a social life.  We also travel, have other interests like arts/photography, socialize and hang out to bars, coffees and so on. Yes some are extroverted people. Many IT women are also into feminine stuffs too.

And then nerds are not the only ones who are intelligent. I work with other professionals who are specialists in their fields, and they can be quite intelligent and knowledgeable of their own stuffs.

It's just people has different interests and specializations, and in each field you'll find both dumb and smart people.


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## IDontThinkSo (Aug 24, 2011)

Flamingo said:


> No.
> 
> Take it from an INTJ girl, the answer is simply no. [...]
> 
> Any *''*nerdy*''* girls are dumbing themselves to fit the ideal. Many times I've had to do this; men don't want to discuss quantum physics on a first date or in the bedroom.


Women don't like smart men either. They just want an adventurous booksmart guy with a PhD. Women think it's cool that I'm the best _xxxx_ until they realize the consequences : It's not funny being with me unless you're like me. Specialization increases your chances to interest fewer people. So here's what will happen, you'll start talking about quantum physics, I'll immediatelly ask you what's your criticism of such mechanisms and your solutions. You'll read in my eyes I won't drop it, then what ? Be honest.


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## Mair (Feb 17, 2014)

When they say they like nerd girls, they usually imagine some super hot girl playing video games.


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## Morfy (Dec 3, 2013)

Mair said:


> When they say they like nerd girls, they usually imagine some super hot girl playing video games.


Umm not really?


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## Korra (Feb 28, 2015)

Morfy Kitty said:


> Umm not really?


I think she's technically correct, as it's a stereotype (hence her saying "usually") often fantasized among the norm. Even the OP had to clarify on what terms "nerdy" meant.


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## mangodelic psycho (Jan 12, 2015)

Flamingo said:


> Of course.
> 
> I know not to discuss certain things on first dates, however, someone that doesn't like what I discuss on a first date isn't worth a second one or have an obligation to return - and, there usually isn't a second one.
> 
> ...


I'm not even saying don't discuss certain subjects on a first date; you should talk about your interests and what's important to you with someone you like enough to go out with.
But if that's ALL you're interested in though, it's just, well, boring. Much like the dumb blonde guys over at the athletic academy in the town where my uni was, who talked about chicks, getting fucked up and football ONLY.
My point is, the problem with most self proclaimed nerds, is not weirdness, or being obsessed with sciences, or even not being fashionable. It's lack of social skills and social awareness and maybe self absorption, which on a first date is at least boring. Still this is not exclusive to people who identify with the nerd stereotype, as I showed in my "dumb blonde" example. In the end, both the blondes and the nerd will find someone, cos there's someone who's similar to you and will like you, regardless of either's flaws.


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## changos (Nov 21, 2011)

Simple answer: *yes *there are guys who are into what you described. More than you would think.



dulcinea said:


> When I say actual nerd girls, I don't just mean some cute girl that reads, manga, plays Zelda, watches Doctor Who, and posts on Tumbr. Well, don't get me wrong, as a hardcore nerd I do some of these things too haha.
> 
> I mean the kind of girl who would absolutely not mind spending her Friday or Saturday evening, some weeks, kicking back and working on a software program, watching a calculus lecture, playing around with Arduino or rasperry pi, is considering getting into engineering...stuff like that. And, is not bad looking. Not a beauty queen, but not a plain jane either, rather pretty or cute.


For someone (me) who codes, build own stuff, several hobbies and among them all I rather go for the DIY than just buying it (what's the fun in that? but sure I buy stuff too) well, sure your description sounds really interesting and if you were in my region (latinamerica) I would be sending you a pm right now. It's not just "interests-nerd-woman-me-like-me-like!" nope, it's just fun, I recently build some electronic and arduino stuff after hours of planning and testing... last year GF just said "oh how nice" because failed to understand the complexity!!! not nice, but female friends who understand it's not easy and while not being fully able to understand what's about, they appreciate it.

*Note: many confuse nerd with boring, that's plain wrong. We all have diff interests, period, but still anyone with any kind of interest, even compatible with mine can be boring or not.*



dulcinea said:


> Actually, though, hypothetically speaking, if you knew a girl who was a hardcore nerd and was stunningly gorgeous, would you find her extremely intimidating, and would never approach her?
> 
> I'm curious to hear thoughts.


With no doubt I will be interested and go out with her, ask her out I mean. My guess is: it would be a lot of fun, still, compatible or alike interests doesn't mean we would hang out 100% well, personality is one thing interests are a diff thing. Besides that, *what you wrote fits other non related stuff in the following sense*: those activities might be not-social or even exclude others from their bubble.

I know I like related stuff, but many times while soldering cables I can't have the same social engagement. Combine this with her soldering her cables too, we could share it and have fun but some projects happen purely on an individual level.

Dated ONE woman who fits most of your criteria. Older than me, great coder (I code too) she is way better than me on that, it was fun, she was less social-able than me and that made it more fun for both of us, she was pretty hot and lived two blocks from my home, we couldn't date as much as we would like to, and we didn't "click" as we expected but that's interest aside, it happens. A few years later we "tried" but it wasn't a good thing, her last ex from the same company cheated on her and most people knew, she was devastated and didn't date anyone for a while, we went diff ways.


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## IDontThinkSo (Aug 24, 2011)

petite libellule said:


> I would giggle and say you play the teacher and I'll play the good little student who promises to do her homework
> 
> honestly guys. why would you even want to be with people who aren't into you?


Haha nope, not before you answer my question. I prefer sex between teachers y'know, there's no middle ground between ground and sky. The sky is the balance. People can't dumb themselves to date the dumb, because it's... dumb. They just lower their cultural standards and think too highly of themselves.


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## Spirit Dancer (Jul 30, 2010)

Flamingo said:


> To see if they first have an interest in quantum physics, why not?
> 
> What does that have to do with social intelligence and communication?


I agree that finding out whether someone has an interest in quantum physics is okay but what I meant by my comment is that someone who doesn't have an interest or knowledge of quantum physics is not likely to be keen on someone who keeps going on about it. Like stated by psychedelicmango, the purpose of a first date is to get to know someone and if a nerd girl is monologuing about quantum physics to someone who knows nothing about it, it can't be very fun for the other person. Quantum physics can't be all there is to a nerd girl - why push the topic unless the nerd girl is particularly fussy about the other person's knowledge on the topic?

I guess it begs the question - are nerd girls interested in non-nerd guys?


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## Sourpuss (Aug 9, 2014)

Well I like intelligence and a girl that I could actually have a conversation with, about things I care about, would be nice.

Mind you most "nerd" girls are fakes. Just following a fad. I'm not accusing all of them, mind you. Just a large percentage. Whether the majority or not... I couldn't really say.

I've only ever known a few 'nerdy' girls.

I certainly prefer nerdy types to... I don't know. The out-going social butterfly, or the party girl, or the jock.


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

What exactly is a "fake" nerd? Just someone who follows certain male-dominated aspects of pop culture (couldn't figure out a better way to say it), but doesn't enjoy genuine intellectual or technical development/engagement?


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## Blackknight72 (Jul 19, 2015)

I'm very, very, *very* into nerdy girls. In fact, I'm not attracted to girls who aren't cerebral. A girl who can write her own Bourne scripts to manage her UNIX servers is on alright with me. 

I absolutely loath fake nerds though. They're the ones without a personality who pretend to enjoy all of the things real nerds enjoy just because it happens to be cool in the moment and would drop you like a sack of potatoes once the next fad comes rolling in. They don't give a fuck about anything, they lack self-esteem, they simply want to be in the spotlight and be attention whores.


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## Blackknight72 (Jul 19, 2015)

dulcinea said:


> I mean the kind of girl who would absolutely not mind spending her Friday or Saturday evening, some weeks, kicking back and working on a software program, watching a calculus lecture, playing around with Arduino or rasperry pi, is considering getting into engineering...stuff like that. And, is not bad looking. Not a beauty queen, but not a plain jane either, rather pretty or cute.


HOT!! :blushed:



dulcinea said:


> Actually, though, hypothetically speaking, if you knew a girl who was a hardcore nerd and was stunningly gorgeous, would you find her extremely intimidating, and would never approach her?


Wouldn't be intimidated. I'd be more worried if after all of that we lacked incompatibility in other areas.


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## Sourpuss (Aug 9, 2014)

Metasentient said:


> What exactly is a "fake" nerd?


Someone who acts that way for attention and has at best a shallow/casual affection with "nerd things".


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

dulcinea said:


> When I say actual nerd girls, I don't just mean some cute girl that reads, manga, plays Zelda, watches Doctor Who, and posts on Tumbr. Well, don't get me wrong, as a hardcore nerd I do some of these things too haha.
> 
> I mean the kind of girl who would absolutely not mind spending her Friday or Saturday evening, some weeks, kicking back and working on a software program, watching a calculus lecture, playing around with Arduino or rasperry pi, is considering getting into engineering...stuff like that. And, is not bad looking. Not a beauty queen, but not a plain jane either, rather pretty or cute.
> 
> ...


Absolutely guys love girls with a brain, and as long as they are attracted to her, then all the better!

From the description above, sounds like someone I know. She was not the prettiest girl on the block, but she blossomed in college, and boy were all the guys into her!

She literally would prefer to program on her computer on a Friday night, while all my friends were getting ready to party. She was a total nerd, and in the end, guys drooled over her more than the airheaded cheerleader.

Girls like her present a challenge, in that, their mind is always preoccupied, and they are so absorbed in their own world that they present themselves in a way that appears aloof when in fact they are not, and that is attractive.

Sounds like an INTP beauty queen! Although, the beauty queen would not join pageants, she is a beauty queen inside and out, and I do not think she poses a threat to anyone, because nerdy people tend to not really care about drama and when presented with drama, they will just avoid it altogether and deflect that negative petty energy.


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

I missed these responses.



Frenetic Tranquility said:


> If you are going to marry one good sex partner, why not marry them all?


That's not really the same point. I have a mental connection with my grandmother. At least sexual partners are in the realm of romantic territory, and not:










But yea, I'm holding out for the mental AND sexual connection. (And emotional. Good heart).



Frenetic Tranquility said:


> Sex is mechanical, and can be fixed with practice. However, you "can't fix stupid" as they say.


Wha...?? My vibrator is mechanical  Sex is far from mechanical. Sex is essence and pheromones and energy. Can't be fixed in my opinion. The connection is there or it's not. And coaching can feel like mother like. I'm actually much more forgiving on the intellectual side. We're always learning, and there are many more topics for the brain to explore than variations of penetrate the orifice with pointy things


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## LostFavor (Aug 18, 2011)

dulcinea said:


> Actually, though, hypothetically speaking, if you knew a girl who was a hardcore nerd and was stunningly gorgeous, would you find her extremely intimidating, and would never approach her?.


Depends on the individual. Some people have built-in intimidation etched into their souls. :tongue: And some don't.

As for the more general question, of course there are. But I think what happens a lot of the time is: The nerdy girls often grow up being pressured to take care of their appearance to some degree. And they are likely to have had more social experience, on average, than the super nerdy guys, because culturally men are supposed to approach women. So they'll have a lot of experience from that choosing/rejecting dynamic (more so than the average nerdy guy).

And the nerdy guys never had so much in the way of pressure about appearance, so they often don't give much of a fuck. They half ass it and lose themselves in the nerdy stuff. They learn how to be a tough guy by excelling at super nerdy things, which A) often don't translate that well to real world skills (or put them in a situation of isolation, where they're mostly surrounded by males) and B) leave them looking like a bridge troll half the time.

So average super nerd guy meets average super nerd girl. Guy goes "omg someone like me!" Girl goes "ew, he doesn't even try to look after himself and I've been approached by much better so many times."

And nothing happens between them.

*I say this as a self-proclaimed bridge troll nerdy guy, so I feel I have a little room to speak flippantly about nerdy guys.

**I know there are exceptions.

***Geeks are not nerds, and vice-versa, and it annoys me that some of the people in the thread are conflating them. Ugh. The distinction is very simple. Two nerds will argue about the definition of a word and go look it up in the dictionary. Two geeks will argue about which superhero is better and why. The thought processes might be similar, but geeks are almost invariably worked up about something that isn't real (regardless of how real it is to them). Nerds are almost invariably worked up about something that is real.


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## dragthewaters (Feb 9, 2013)

dulcinea said:


> I mean the kind of girl who would absolutely not mind spending her Friday or Saturday evening, some weeks, kicking back and working on a software program, watching a calculus lecture, playing around with Arduino or rasperry pi, is considering getting into engineering...stuff like that. And, is not bad looking. Not a beauty queen, but not a plain jane either, rather pretty or cute.


Two of my high school friends fit this description exactly and the nerdy dudes are all over them. Even some non-nerdy dudes too. Although, one of them DOES have size like, double-F boobs, so that might contribute too.


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## kirakishou (Sep 1, 2015)

If I knew a girl who was into computer programming or had a raspberry pi and was genuinely into it. I would be intrigued. I don't know how to program so it could become a bonding type thing and we can feel eachother out. I have no problem with knowledge or people being more intelligent/smarter than me, it gives me a new checkpoint to reach in bettering myself as well as learning more about that person. 

Hopefully we can keep a conversation going, that would be my only fear.


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## Primeval (Dec 4, 2011)

I'm specifically holding out for this. My opening line is "Justify your existence." I've yet to hear a decent response. Maybe someday...


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## Alles_Paletti (May 15, 2013)

That's like, ideal. A girl who is ambitious, independent, interesting, smart and different? Yes please. 

Is it also true that a lot (or maybe most) guys have a certain image of what a woman is "supposed to be like" and are trying to find somebody who fits that mental hole or try to ram her in it? 

Yup. 

On the other hand I believe the reverse is true too. I think it's not like most women are looking for a nerdy guy with those criteria. I believe a lot are also trying to find their "ideal guy" according to society's standards or try to mold whatever guy they managed to get into that shape.

But there are people out there who are willing to look with an open mind at others and appreciate their unique qualities as a person instead of judging them against a scoring system based on social stereotypes and expectations.


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## Laze (Feb 19, 2015)

dulcinea said:


> When I say actual nerd girls, I don't just mean some cute girl that reads, manga, plays Zelda, watches Doctor Who, and *posts on Tumbr*. Well, don't get me wrong, as a hardcore nerd I do some of these things too haha.


Tumbr is a deal breaker. And not just with a potential girlfriend either, I'm talking any form of communication. Forever. 



dulcinea said:


> I mean the kind of girl who would absolutely not mind spending her Friday or Saturday evening, some weeks, kicking back and working on a software program, watching a calculus lecture, playing around with Arduino or rasperry pi, is considering getting into engineering...stuff like that. And, is not bad looking. Not a beauty queen, but not a plain jane either, rather pretty or cute.


She sounds like a dream to me, especially the 'not bad looking'. I've never liked conventionally attractive women. Personally, I'm going through a phase of freckles, like proper freckles, not the shitty ones that practically blend into the skin.



dulcinea said:


> Actually, though, hypothetically speaking, if you knew a girl who was a hardcore nerd and was stunningly gorgeous, would you find her extremely intimidating, and would never approach her?


It's hard to say. To decide if you want to potentially commit social suicide is something you decide on the spot.


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## Roman Empire (Oct 22, 2014)

There's people into everything, and I know that some people are into nerdy girls. Guess who it often is... nerdy guys  - Usually women get treated nice by guys in real life. But then imagine being the one nerdy girl playing world of warcraft with 200 nerdy guys. You are going to be treated like a Goddess.


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## LostFavor (Aug 18, 2011)

apa said:


> There's people into everything, and I know that some people are into nerdy girls. Guess who it often is... nerdy guys  - Usually women get treated nice by guys in real life. But then imagine being the one nerdy girl playing world of warcraft with 200 nerdy guys. You are going to be treated like a Goddess.


So true. I've seen this happen so many times in online games. Cute girl appears, all the guys fawn over her. It's like everybody's dying of thirst and the girl is a drop of water. 

What still blows my mind is how running an 18+ guild in an online game (e.g. no kids) is apparently like putting out a sign that says, "Come date here." I used to help run a guild with a couple other people and I swear we couldn't go more than like a month without some member either A) hooking up with another member or B) breaking up. It was such a pain in the ass. There was even a married couple, where one cheated on the other with another member in the guild... cyber cheating. So funny in a way, but so sad at the same time.

Like you'd think there'd be a point where someone would go... "that's just too silly of a way to cheat. I'm not gonna do that."

Nope! Apparently desperation is the same, no matter the medium.


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## Vahyavishdapaya (Sep 2, 2014)

dulcinea said:


> When I say actual nerd girls, I don't just mean some cute girl that reads, manga, plays Zelda, watches Doctor Who, and posts on Tumbr. Well, don't get me wrong, as a hardcore nerd I do some of these things too haha.
> 
> I mean the kind of girl who would absolutely not mind spending her Friday or Saturday evening, some weeks, kicking back and working on a software program, watching a calculus lecture, playing around with Arduino or rasperry pi, is considering getting into engineering...stuff like that. And, is not bad looking. Not a beauty queen, but not a plain jane either, rather pretty or cute.


Sure. Intelligence is the most attractive thing. As long as she can teach me something. I'm a massive nerd myself, and I love myself, so it would be hypocritical of me to find nerdyness unattractive. Computer shit isn't exactly the first thing that leaps to my mind when I think of a nerdy pursuit, but if nothing else I would be able to appreciate the passion that a girl holds for computer programming. And I'd make an effort to learn something about it.

I like girls who smoke weed. You could say I have high standards.


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## SilverFalcon (Dec 18, 2014)

dulcinea said:


> When I say actual nerd girls, I don't just mean some cute girl that reads, manga, plays Zelda, watches Doctor Who, and posts on Tumbr. Well, don't get me wrong, as a hardcore nerd I do some of these things too haha.
> 
> I mean the kind of girl who would absolutely not mind spending her Friday or Saturday evening, some weeks, kicking back and working on a software program, watching a calculus lecture, playing around with Arduino or rasperry pi, is considering getting into engineering...stuff like that. And, is not bad looking. Not a beauty queen, but not a plain jane either, rather pretty or cute.


As long as she is not "no-lifer" of course yes.

Some popular nerdy girl characters to point nerdy girl's popularity: 

* *





ST









NT













dulcinea said:


> Actually, though, hypothetically speaking, if you knew a girl who was a hardcore nerd and was stunningly gorgeous, would you find her extremely intimidating, and would never approach her?


Not at all, I am my own greatest obstacle so I am more likely to approach if stakes are high. Its not a game of score for me, I need to feel inspired, need to know what I feel.


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## Master Mind (Aug 15, 2011)

There are people who are into just about all types.


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## untested methods (May 8, 2015)

Yes. Hardcore nerds and geeks are a niche taste, though. There are many strong introverts and people who are very heavily invested in their interests, which are often things that aren't enjoyed to the same extent by others. We can be a little hard to match, whether our thing is programming or sci-fi.



LostFavor said:


> So true. I've seen this happen so many times in online games. Cute girl appears, all the guys fawn over her. It's like everybody's dying of thirst and the girl is a drop of water.
> 
> What still blows my mind is how running an 18+ guild in an online game (e.g. no kids) is apparently like putting out a sign that says, "Come date here." I used to help run a guild with a couple other people and I swear we couldn't go more than like a month without some member either A) hooking up with another member or B) breaking up. It was such a pain in the ass. There was even a married couple, where one cheated on the other with another member in the guild... cyber cheating. So funny in a way, but so sad at the same time.
> 
> ...


This is why I'm happy to play in a small guild consisting of married couples and old friends that have known each other for years or a decade. No weirdness and no drama. 

I couldn't be paid to play in some crowds.



Primeval said:


> I'm specifically holding out for this. My opening line is "Justify your existence." I've yet to hear a decent response. Maybe someday...


Swooned.


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## LostFavor (Aug 18, 2011)

untested methods said:


> Yes. Hardcore nerds and geeks are a niche taste, though. There are many strong introverts and people who are very heavily invested in their interests, which are often things that aren't enjoyed to the same extent by others. We can be a little hard to match, whether our thing is programming or sci-fi.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yeah, the knowing each other is definitely preferable. In our case, we were trying to run a raiding guild and (somewhat) keep up with new content, so we had a lot of turnover.


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## mental blockstack (Dec 15, 2011)

If you're a beautiful soft Asian girl who does that, then fucking yes

No to being intimidated


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## Primeval (Dec 4, 2011)

untested methods said:


> Swooned.


I've see that one already. In fairness it was likely her personal vodka bottle and not my stunning phraseology...

Try again?


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## g_w (Apr 16, 2013)

psychedelicmango said:


> So, people are cowards for not admitting they like sex, but then considering physical compatibility and sex as imporant attributes of a relationship is bad because that attitude makes you end up with the wrong person and get cheated on because it means you choose the hot ones over the clever ones; sex appeal is basically only how hot you are and looks fade, _especially for women_, which means that a hot husband will cheat on you no matter what, because, sexual people are animals. Which basically means I have to find an asexual and undesirable man I am compatible with otherwise (I can have intellectual conversations with). Yeah, makes total sense.


The best way to keep a man from cheating on you after marriage is simple in concept, but requires significant effort to accomplish.

1) Pick a man whose personality, character, and values are geared towards faithfulness. This will likely be a man that college-age to mid-20's women find "boring."
2) Be *emotionally* supportive, and don't let any negative attitude towards their own marriage or husband, which may emanate from your female friends, rub off on you. Swim upstream by praising your husband to them.
3) Stay reasonably thin and in shape: every one gains some weight as they age, but as long as you marry young, "wife goggles" will work in your favor.
4) Keep his balls empty. And while you're doing the emptying, show him by your body language and your eyes, that you are very sexually gratified by participating in the process. Feel free to discuss what you need to be turned on yourself, and give him lessons, too, so you don't have to fake your arousal.


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## g_w (Apr 16, 2013)

Flamingo said:


> No.
> 
> Take it from an INTJ girl, the answer is simply no.
> 
> ...


As a counterargument, a woman's sex drive is positively correlated with her IQ.  
Most men are somehow flattered when a woman repeatedly pins him to the mattress (or whatever position works best).


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## g_w (Apr 16, 2013)

psychedelicmango said:


> Umm, not discussing quantum physics on a first date (which purpose is to get to know someone, it's ok but if that's the only discussion you're going to have) or in the bedroom (lmao that's fun actually) is not "dumbing yourself", it's common sense, and being aware of the social situation and the person you're with. If you're only capable of talking quantum phyics that doesn't make you a nerd, it makes you weird, which is not that uncommon either, and from personal experience, I can say some guys really like (also weirdos) thankfully or I'd be alone forever.


...one other point.

The reason you don't have those kind of conversations on the first date (except *maybe* with some INTJ and INTP men) is that dates are for assessing common interests, and possibly surface compatibility; in order to decide if there is enough promise on subsequent dates to discuss lifestyle goals and values.

Quantum mechanics is *fun*, but even the nerd guys don't rely on quantum for *all* their entertainment needs.

And the reason you don't talk quantum mechanics in the bedroom is that if you're doing it right, all the man's blood is somewhere other than his brain. :laughing:


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## Sangmu (Feb 18, 2014)

g_w said:


> The best way to keep a man from cheating on you after marriage is simple in concept, but requires significant effort to accomplish.
> 
> 1) Pick a man whose personality, character, and values are geared towards faithfulness. This will likely be a man that college-age to mid-20's women find "boring."
> 2) Be *emotionally* supportive, and don't let any negative attitude towards their own marriage or husband, which may emanate from your female friends, rub off on you. Swim upstream by praising your husband to them.
> ...


Men and women cheat to obtain variety. To be seen by new eyes. It's rooted in human narcissism first and foremost.

http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-an...deny-their-sexual-desires-20130814-2rvr4.html

Any "reasons" given thereafter are reasons the person has been socially conditioned to regurgitate. 

The woman didn't feel loved and was looking for love. The man wasn't getting his dick sucked enough and was looking for BJ. She's complex. He's simple. She's emotional. He's rational. She's hard to please. He's easy to please therefore she must done something wrong. He's a noble pig who can't help himself, she's a saintly devil.

That's the cultural narrative. 

The bottom line is that people who cheat, male and female, often have willing and loving spouses at home. It just becomes _not enough_ for them. They want new. Having sex with their spouse is beginning to feel like incest, and our genes hates incest.



> Keep his balls empty. And while you're doing the emptying, show him by your body language and your eyes, that you are very sexually gratified by participating in the process.


This is so often stated along with "_and his belly full_"

Huck, huck, huck. Can you tell I'm dying laughing? 

Again, this doesn't prevent cheating. Nor does it prevent domestic violence or stonewalling, or any other dysfunctional style of communication.



> Pick a man whose personality, character, and values are geared towards faithfulness. This will likely be a man that college-age to mid-20's women find "boring."


This cannot be predicted. If life has taught me anything, it's that people change. And I _did_ like men who were "sweet and nerdy" in my youth. I just found that they had a tendency to body shame me and hella be boring in the sack. If anyone is most scared of vaginas, it's nerds. Coming in second is those goofy, borderline frat guys ("boy next door"). Both tend to come with unappealing, vagina-fearing posses as well. 

Hence I began chasing much older men and anti-social men, for better or worse. They worshiped the beauty I had to offer. I write this to give you some insight into why young women chase badboys - insight beyond the common "evolutionary psychology" explanation. Women chase these men because because they want to feel highly desirable, and these men have the capacity to make them feel that way.


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## LostFavor (Aug 18, 2011)

WhateverLolaWants said:


> This cannot be predicted. If life has taught me anything, it's that people change. And I _did_ like men who were "sweet and nerdy" in my youth. I just found that they had a tendency to body shame me and hella be boring in the sack. If anyone is most scared of vaginas, it's nerds. Coming in second is those goofy, borderline frat guys ("boy next door"). Both tend to come with unappealing, vagina-fearing posses as well.
> 
> Hence I began chasing much older men and anti-social men, for better or worse. They worshiped the beauty I had to offer. I write this to give you some insight into why young women chase badboys - insight beyond the common "evolutionary psychology" explanation. Women chase these men because because they want to feel highly desirable, and these men have the capacity to make them feel that way.


If it can't be predicted, why did you outline a different stereotype that you take seriously in the same post?


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## Sangmu (Feb 18, 2014)

LostFavor said:


> If it can't be predicted, why did you outline a different stereotype that you take seriously in the same post?


Not sure understand your question.

I prefer the company of one stereotype over another. It doesn't mean that group is less likely to cheat. I believe infidelity is spread pretty evenly across all groups. And if it is (and I'm pretty certain it is), I might as well be with the men I like. Not men who society dictates are a safe bet.
I've seen every type cheat, and most cases were not due to a sexless or loveless relationship. It was due to familiarity breeding contempt and someone wanting to their cake and eat it too: "_I can have convenient marriage/relationship + something new and shiny on the side_"


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## LostFavor (Aug 18, 2011)

WhateverLolaWants said:


> Not sure understand your question.
> 
> I prefer the company of one stereotype over another. It doesn't mean that group is less likely to cheat. I believe infidelity is spread pretty evenly across all groups. And if it is (and I'm pretty certain it is), I might as well be with the men I like. Not men who society dictates are a safe bet.
> I've seen every type cheat, and most cases were not due to a sexless or loveless relationship. It was due to familiarity breeding contempt and someone wanting to their cake and eat it too: "_I can have convenient marriage/relationship + something new and shiny on the side_"


It's just weird to me that in a post where you say "it can't be predicted. people change," you're talking about predicting who was a good fit for you based on a stereotype and how it worked. It seems contradictory.

It may be two different kinds of predicting, but it just seems to me that if the point is one can't be predicted (20-something boring guy won't be as likely to cheat), why would you be able to predict with the other (women chase bad boys because they make them feel desirable).


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## Sangmu (Feb 18, 2014)

LostFavor said:


> It's just weird to me that in a post where you say "it can't be predicted. people change," you're talking about predicting who was a good fit for you based on a stereotype and how it worked. It seems contradictory.
> 
> It may be two different kinds of predicting, but it just seems to me that if the point is one can't be predicted (20-something boring guy won't be as likely to cheat), why would you be able to predict with the other (women chase bad boys because they make them feel desirable).


It's not predicting. It's *observing* who I generally have most enjoyed spending time with - men a self-proclaimed "nerd" might label a bad boy. The point is that who I enjoy spending time with will not be influenced by people who think: _women are cheated on because they look for bad boys, just slaves to their psychopath loving genes! Poor nice guys, all neglected!_ - Because I know that isn't true. 

I was objecting to the following view:

If he's nice - she drove him to it by not being creative enough or skinny enough.

If he's bad - she chose it should have saw it coming.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
People change in the sense that someone who initially seems very loyal is absolutely capable of cheating. Feelings of emptiness and bouts of narcissism happen to people.

Also, forgive me if that doesn't answer your question as I still barely know what you're talking about. I have a feeling your dishonestly twisting the context of my post or misunderstanding altogether.

I never claimed all women chase "bad boys". I was explaining why some end up preferring them to "nice guys" - and giving insight as to why beyond the typical, lazy evolutionary psychology misogyny.

Good luck. I don't think we are going to see eye-to-eye and I'm not going to correspond further.


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## LostFavor (Aug 18, 2011)

WhateverLolaWants said:


> It's not predicting. It's *observing* who I generally have most enjoyed spending time with - men a self-proclaimed "nerd" might label a bad boy. The point is that who I enjoy spending time with will not be influenced by people who think: _women are cheated on because they look for bad boys, just slaves to their psychopath loving genes! Poor nice guys, all neglected!_ - Because I know that isn't true.
> 
> I was objecting to the following view:
> 
> ...


Uhhhhh, ok. Well yeah, you're right about one thing: We're clearly not understanding what the other is saying. Or, at least, you aren't understanding what I'm saying. 

I'm not so sure that I actually misunderstand, or if it's just that I disagree with the view you're putting forth. 

I guess it doesn't matter since you "aren't going to correspond further," but I'm going to try one more time:

You said, "This cannot be predicted" in regards to avoiding people who will cheat on you. I'm with you there, makes sense to me. 

Then you go on to say that you liked "sweet and nerdy" men in your youth (whatever that designation is supposed to mean) but that they tended to body shame you and were boring in bed. And you further go on to say that if anyone is afraid of vaginas, it's nerds (???). And that coming in close second is "those goofy, borderline frat guys ("boy next door")."

So because of that, you started chasing older (and antisocial) men because they "worshiped the beauty you had to offer."

Here's the thing that's bothering me: Not only is that post chock full of weird dividing lines of how to categorize different types of men, but you're also making this jump of reasoning that your designations are not only accurate - they also help explain why young women chase "badboys." So what you're implying with the beauty worship thing is that guys you categorize as "boy next door" or "sweet and nerdy" don't give you the bodily praise you want or something. Which just makes no sense to me as anything more than an anecdotal experience of one person. 

In many cases, I would probably just skim over such a post and move on, but it stood out to me because you were starting out with the reasoning that people change and you can't predict how they are going to act down the line. Which I thought was a really reasonable thing to say. Yet you're comfortable with these designations about different types of guys, as if they are static or something, and extrapolating from your personal experiences that a number of women go after "bad boys" because other guys don't worship their beauty.

Part of the reason this doesn't make sense to me is because the typical description of a "bad boy" that I've heard of is a guy who is relatively cold and dominating. So unless by "beauty worship" you're talking about performance in the sack, I don't understand. This is the first I've heard of a stereotype that "bad boys" worship women's beauty and "nice guys" don't.

Perhaps it is a difference in definition. Cause come to think of it, this is also the first time I've heard of "bad boy" being associated with "older men," as if they are synonymous.


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## Kaisikudo (Mar 26, 2011)

dulcinea said:


> a girl who was a hardcore nerd and was stunningly gorgeous


To anyone who believes such women don't exist, allow me to introduce *Hannah Fry*.










In all honesty though, and in answer to the question you posed, yeah. I would probably find a woman of that caliber pretty intimidating. I'd just become incredibly shy/awkward, probably struggle to even talk.

Men do find intelligence extremely attractive though. And having unconventional interests probably makes a girl far more interesting than were she to like the same as every other _chienne de base_.


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## Sangmu (Feb 18, 2014)

LostFavor said:


> Uhhhhh, ok. Well yeah, you're right about one thing: We're clearly not understanding what the other is saying. Or, at least, you aren't understanding what I'm saying.
> 
> I'm not so sure that I actually misunderstand, or if it's just that I disagree with the view you're putting forth.
> 
> ...


You do not understand the post. At all.


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## g_w (Apr 16, 2013)

WhateverLolaWants said:


> Men and women cheat to obtain variety. To be seen by new eyes. It's rooted in human narcissism first and foremost.
> 
> Why do women deny their sexual desires?
> 
> Any "reasons" given thereafter are reasons the person has been socially conditioned to regurgitate.


Huh. So everything is socially conditioned, except the feminist narrative, which is absolute truth, _ab initio_.

There's a couple o' wee problems with that article.

First, the self-selection problem with the test subjects (not all women will consent to having an instrument inserted into their _belle chose_ to measure their excitement while watching movies).

Second, the lack of a control group.

Third, no way to ensure that what was currently on the screen is what the woman's mind was actually focused on (say, zoning out on the movie and remembering that hot date two weeks ago, or even one of the prior movies).

Then, there's the problem of interpretation: women's physical arousal is often separated from their mind: women can be quite physically wet during intercourse, but still not have succeeded enough in separating their thoughts from the kids' homework, to report tremendous participation. It need not be that women are ultra-sexual, but only repressed by eeeeeevil males.

Finally, there's something called the Gell-Mann amnesia effect. (Named for Nobel Physicist Murray Gell-Mann; if I recall right, he _finished_ his PhD in theoretical physics at MIT at age 21). The idea being, if you read something in the newspaper, and it is a subject, or an occurrence, you know anything about firsthand, the article is so full of holes you can't believe it got published.
But the moment you turn the page to read an article about anything different, you have amnesia, and forget how bad the press got the facts in the first article...)



WhateverLolaWants said:


> The woman didn't feel loved and was looking for love. The man wasn't getting his dick sucked enough and was looking for BJ. She's complex. He's simple. She's emotional. He's rational. She's hard to please. He's easy to please therefore she must done something wrong. He's a noble pig who can't help himself, she's a saintly devil.
> That's the cultural narrative.
> 
> The bottom line is that people who cheat, male and female, often have willing and loving spouses at home. It just becomes _not enough_ for them. They want new. Having sex with their spouse is beginning to feel like incest, and our genes hates incest.


Certain Columbia University professors, and some German 'families', and (to stretch a point) Woody Allen, excepted.
Men usually stray because either their wife has let herself go and refuses to have sex, or because they seek "the girlfriend experience" e.g. eager, positive reinforcement.

From all accounts, it is women who seek to "find themselves" with a wondrous mysterious "Eat Pray Love" experience.

"But what about Schwarzenegger, and Ted Kennedy and Bill Clinton," someone may ask. Well, they apparently had the habit lots of sex with many different women, long before settling down. Thinking that they'd "settle down" was probably a fool's bet.


This is so often stated along with "_and his belly full_"



WhateverLolaWants said:


> Huck, huck, huck. Can you tell I'm dying laughing?
> 
> Again, this doesn't prevent cheating. Nor does it prevent domestic violence or stonewalling, or any other dysfunctional style of communication.


For your standard-issue guy, or the ones who intend faithfulness, it actually works. By your logic, there should be no laws against --
oh, not to be *too* controversial, while still illustrating the point -- tax evasion, or speeding.
Because people are going to do it anyway.

But this is a fallacy, just as if you were to average my net worth and Donald Trump's net worth, you'd end up (within rounding error)
at 5 billion dollars. But am I really worth that? No. There are subgroups: and the use of the "average" can often be quite misleading if the subgroups differ in any ways you are interested in discussing.

To ignore this, when talking about women, is variously called things like _bigotry_, and _sexism_, and _misogyny_, and other forms of _crimethink_.

But apparently, to make the exact same mistake about men, is called "open-minded" or "enlightened" or "modern" or whatever buzzword is current at the moment.

It might not stop all the hard cases -- the ones who would do it anyway. But it will cut down on a lot of the marginal cases, and keep the guys-who-are-glad-they-landed-the-girl-o'-their-dreams, pretty firmly in the fold.

As a counterexample, women currently initiate 70% of the divorces. Oddly enough, to hear the men who have been divorced tell it, they've been following the script women have given: "choreplay" and "giving her her space" and "girls' night out" and the whole nine yards. 





WhateverLolaWants said:


> This cannot be predicted. If life has taught me anything, it's that people change. And I _did_ like men who were "sweet and nerdy" in my youth. I just found that they had a tendency to body shame me and hella be boring in the sack. If anyone is most scared of vaginas, it's nerds. Coming in second is those goofy, borderline frat guys ("boy next door"). Both tend to come with unappealing, vagina-fearing posses as well.


I'd like to hear more about this: I was about as hard-core nerd as it got. Neither I nor any of my nerdy friends were scared of vaginas: we were intimidated by the *women* who possessed them. And because of this, we didn't think of "body shaming."
If anything we "worshipped the beauty" as you say in your next paragraph. Can you describe the body-shaming? Under what circumstances did it happen, when in the meeting/relationship timeline? -- and was it in front of other guys, when you were alone at dinner, or in bed?

Hella boring in the sack...maybe some, not me. P'raps the nerds you were with, were so overjoyed to have gotten to score with a chick, they lasted all of 30 seconds (Danny Bonaduce, the short red-headed member of _The Partridge Family, _had a good story about this...a couple of the show's groupies met him backstage, looking for (of course) David Cassidy. They never found Cassidy, but he was able to talk one of the groupies into sleeping with _him_ instead. He joked that it must have been the best 30 seconds of her life.)

Second -- please help me follow you; I've never thought of the "boy next door" as being goofy borderline frat guys; would you describe them a little better, so I have some assurance I at least know what you're talking about? And the real frat boys...don't fear vagina, as far as I can tell: rather, they fear *attachment* or relationships, and focus on genitalia instead in order to avoid having to have, like, real conversations or anything.



WhateverLolaWants said:


> Hence I began chasing much older men and anti-social men, for better or worse. They worshiped the beauty I had to offer. I write this to give you some insight into why young women chase badboys - insight beyond the common "evolutionary psychology" explanation. Women chase these men because because they want to feel highly desirable, and these men have the capacity to make them feel that way.


Hmm, ok -- if it's not Too Much Information (TM), ...and this is a GENERALIZED GUESS...
did the much older men offer something intellectually stimulating, like real attention beyond pawing at your breasts 30 minutes into the date and then talking about 'hey let's go to my place for a movie and some weed' (wink, nudge); and the anti-social men offered...*excitement* (you didn't know what they were going to do)...and in both cases, dating one of these men got you jealous looks from female friends?

Despite any appearances, no rancor intended. 

tl;dr == I'd love to hear your actual *experiences* as I prefer first-hand data to any number of third-hand sociological explanations.


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## g_w (Apr 16, 2013)

Kaisikudo said:


> To anyone who believes such women don't exist, allow me to introduce *Hannah Fry*.
> 
> 
> 
> ...











I love redheads...:tongue:


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## Blackknight72 (Jul 19, 2015)

Ginger _and_ smart. yum!


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