# Girls, Why Do You Hate Some Women? :(



## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Shinji Mimura said:


> You won't. No balls.


I'm sorry you have no balls, but I can still beat you with my cane. Doesn't your lack of balls make it easier for you to run away?


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## Shinji Mimura (Aug 1, 2012)

pinkrasputin said:


> I'm sorry you have no balls, but I can still beat you with my cane. Doesn't your lack of balls make it easier for you to run away?


I approve of your repartee


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

At the end of the day l don't know that female realtionships are really any better.

l've had very close male friends. Many different kinds...types of relationships with zero sexual potential at all, just wasn't about that.

They were extremely fulfilling for me. l miss my old male friends.

l've had close friendships with women too, but really only one that felt as close as the male friendships and this was with a girl who was weird like me and didn't really consider herself a "real girl". She wasn't tomboyish or anything, she was actually gorgeous and feminine but she was just weird.

The rest stressed me out and TBPH l don't feel like l came out of those relationships any better than l was before. With most l felt like we had a great friendship if l edited myself which l completely lost interest in upon entering adulthood an probably am no longer capable of.

l still find some women like me, it is just RARE and usually requires dealing with types you don't care about first.

lf l were at all sexually attracted to men l would just go back to the old friendships-turned-relationships l had with them but l couldn't make that work either.

l also suggest gay boys to you if you haven't tried them yet, actually a better option than women in many cases imo.


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## Kore (Aug 10, 2012)

Saira said:


> I'd really appreciate your advice.
> 
> I've never ever had a female friend. It really depresses me when I see girls socializing and making long-lasting friendships, while I'm left aside wondering what the hell is wrong with me. I'm even more confused because I get along great with guys so I obviously don't have a horrible personality.
> 
> ...


This is from my experience and I am saying that it's hard to find girls that will be a true friends. Take this as you will, I am not trying to hurt any female's feelings, if you are not like this, then you should not be offended.

I am a lot like you in some ways, I have had girly-girl friends when I was young and wore a mask to be liked. I do not have girl friends now because the women I do respect, do not care to be besties, they care for having a good time with everyone.



You MUST bitch about the same things they do.
You cannot be too sexy and you cannot get along well with heaps of men.
You cannot show off skills you may be adept at.
Saying something to their face is not accepted.
Saying that you are not into romantic relationships will probably further their upset at you being friend's with many men, possibly crushes or potential mates of theirs.

Logic train for girls: If my friend is more pleasing and accepting than me, men will not look at me. I am better off being friends with someone that I believe I am better than because I will be able to attract the fellow I want, in the meantime I'll spread rumours about this chick all the guy's are friends with PFF!

I repeat, _High School Experience_, nothing more. :happy:


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## kudi (Sep 27, 2011)

First thing I'd think about is why is it so important to you to have a female friend? Whats wrong with having male friends, they fill the role of companionship right? The interest you stated are primarily male-dominated, that is just the way it is. So its either, wait to meet a similar female, search for one or find a more neutral or woman dominated interest. 

With time and experience I think you'll get better at managing how you handle female relationships and also you'll learn that not all your friendships with females have to be deep for you to be able to enjoy them. Just enjoy them for what they are, often light, at times warm and if your really lucky, live-long and deep.


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## nádej (Feb 27, 2011)

I just want to put it out there, as a woman, that it's hard to make friends with women who believe that women are difficult to be friends with.

It's hard and not super appealing. The best way to make friends with _anyone_, regardless of gender, starts with respect. Setting yourself apart from other women and thinking things like, "well they are all like this, but I'm not," only perpetuates whatever differences may in fact exist. Women, just like men, are a diverse bunch. Some make great friends, some don't. But even those who make the greatest friends are going to need some reciprocation. Which might require some humility, maybe especially with females.


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## frenchie (Jul 7, 2011)

Saira said:


> Oh, common, you're just being bitchy now.
> 
> If you haven't noticed, I came here asking people what should I change about _my_ behavior. Not what's the other women's fault. And nobody's playing a good cop here, so please don't attack them.


Don't change your behavior unless your being a jerk which from the sound of it doesn't seem to be the case.

A few things to remember: location can also affect who you are friends with. I found for whatever reason I was too polarizing in small towns. Why? I don't know, but I came off as overly intense and confident. People in smaller insular environments don't appreciate that. Men and women alike. 

I found that when I moved to a larger city, as in 1 million plus, things started working out for the better. More people means more instances to make friends and throw oneself out there.

But seriously, don't tone yourself down. I'm in the fortunate enough position to scale myself up and down in any manner that I want although I prefer loud and confident. However, sometimes the perspectives of others can be lost when things such as body language and demeanor in general aren't being sent on the internet. I don't even know how you talk, let alone the way you dress and carry yourself.

Seriously though, the things that *should* matter to you the most are your career and matters of the self preservation realm. Don't feel like you have to "fit in" with men or women. I know it seems rough, but seriously how old are you? If you're in school still, believe me the world is your oyster. Screw them and focus on climbing to the top. It sounds like you have the courage and zeal to do whatever you want. Why let some pointless attitudes and opinions of others stop you from doing what you want?

If some girl/guy gives you attitude, axe them and move on. There are 7 billion people in this world all with unique perspectives and ideas that are just waiting to be discovered. Finding good friends is like sifting through gold. You're going to get a lot of crap before you get the nugget. Men and women alike. 

But don't *ever* tone yourself down for the sake of making friends or fitting in. Do what makes you happy you freaking dingus.

@nádej has a good point point too. Don't go into any interaction thinking it's going to be difficult. Clean slate and use the judgement of the interaction to decide whether or not you want to pass on them.


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

I never really understood why women hate on other women like it's the thing to do. I don't see any point in sitting around and hating on someone for whatever apparent (biased) reasons one has for another person. It's just so petty. 

There are million-and-one things out there to worry about. Why hate for?


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## StElmosDream (May 26, 2012)

strawberryLola said:


> I never really understood why women hate on other women like it's the thing to do. I don't see any point in sitting around and hating on someone for whatever apparent (biased) reasons one has for another person. It's just so petty.
> 
> There are million-and-one things out there to worry about. Why hate for?


The same could be said for unconventional behaviours such as intellectual intensity, overriding passions some may lack, a need for depth of character or conversation, inequality or perceived superiority sadly it seems people can be unclear how to approach unique characters. It seems to be human nature to avoid what we don't understand or relate to, instead of seeking individuality or overcoming insecurities; something that has always confused me is conformism and fear of social unacceptance as if being 'different' is a bad thing unworthy of celebration.


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

StElmosDream said:


> The same could be said for unconventional behaviours such as intellectual intensity, overriding passions some may lack, a need for depth of character or conversation, inequality or perceived superiority sadly it seems people can be unclear how to approach unique characters. It seems to be human nature to avoid what we don't understand or relate to, instead of seeking individuality or overcoming insecurities; something that has always confused me is conformism and fear of social unacceptance as if being 'different' is a bad thing unworthy of celebration.


 My usual response is, "I feel for you that you cannot let yourselves go to be who you truly are and enjoy life." (Internally, of course). I don't know why some people cannot pull that stick out of their butt. Sorry I couldn't come up with a better response. 

I believe personal integrity and dignity are two things that at least help give each individual some level of _self-respect._

So when I see others bashing on someone "outside of the group" I question who it is that feels threatened, and see their reaction as being very small minded, and welp, not worth mah time. Thanks but no thanks is my response. It's easy to get entangled into that kind of drama. It's more FUN when I can enjoy myself around people who don't feel a need to 'prove' themselves whether or it may monetarily, lookswise, intellectually, or whatever external pressures people perceive themselves to inadequately be and self-project. My time's too short. Enjoy life. Seriously. 

On a side note- I like to take care of myself in any possible way, and continue to indulge in what I find intriguing, anything that offers growth potential, and not the reverse.


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## Le Beau Coeur (Jan 30, 2011)

donkeybals said:


> I know what you mean, often times I wonder if women are just using me for my cuddling skills and sex, whenever I want to talk about my feelings, they are out the door.


Yes, that is how I feel, and I terribly sorry that happens to you. And it is not that I don't want them to like me in a physical way, I like that very much...it would just be nice if it could be both caring about each other a person _as well_ as romantic interest, not solely physical interest. I understand this goes both ways as well, that men also experience this too. 

I hope I didn't offend anyone with my comment.


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## StElmosDream (May 26, 2012)

strawberryLola said:


> My usual response is, "I feel for you that you cannot let yourselves go to be who you truly are and enjoy life." (Internally, of course). I don't know why some people cannot pull that stick out of their butt. Sorry I couldn't come up with a better response.
> 
> I believe personal integrity and dignity are two things that at least help give each individual some level of _self-respect._
> 
> ...


Nice to see such a blunt respectful attitude, alas this spirit of competition is all too present in some gender circles then magnified if someone in a group feels 'judged' as the victim when only 30 seconds ago someone was marginalised by the exact same person or people.


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

StElmosDream said:


> Nice to see such a blunt respectful attitude, alas this spirit of competition is all too present in some gender circles then magnified if someone in a group feels 'judged' as the victim when only 30 seconds ago someone was marginalised by the exact same person or people.


 A behavior I like to call scapegoating.

Why get involved? Detachment seems more constructive in that scenario.

FYI, this type of behavior isn't just seen in women, either. Men hate on other men, too. People engage in viscous drama when they're not happy with themselves. So whatever.


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

Here's a nice video to enjoy!




C'Est La Vie! Toodles:tongue:


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## Saira (Feb 2, 2012)

Thank you everyone for your responses!

I just want to make it clear that I'm not searching for female friends, I'm perfectly happy with my bunch of guys. I was only curious why they don't like me, because hating me for no obvious reasons really makes no sense. I'm not imagining things or being sexist, it's all comming from my personal experience.

I'm not against change if it's for the better, I like working on myself as much as I can, but *the main reason I posted this* *was curiosity*, finding out why some girls act that way.

P.S. Okay, I've only just noticed the video above... Damn you, @_strawberryLola_, this post sounds so lame after a buttfucking Stormtrooper... :laughing:


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## JaySH (Jul 29, 2012)

mme


Le Beau Coeur said:


> This is the reason I have a hard time being friends with men. I don't know if they really want to be "friends" or if they are only interested in a sexual relationship. It makes me wonder whether they really care about me at all. I am presently somewhat disillusioned in that respect.
> 
> My best friend and most of my friends are female.


That is a little unfair, no? Fact is, most guys will have some level of interest in an attractive female even if she is just a friend. That doesn't mean they'll act on it and it doesn't mean it's the only reason for the friendship. Wen I was younger I had more female friends than male. Most of them, though the thought may have crossed my mind, I was not interested in being more. We were close friends and I knew, though attractive, they wouldn't be right for me as more...and it wasn't worth ruining our friendship.

Unfortunately as I've gotten older I have far fewer female friends..actually, not sure I have any close female friends at all. It's due to dating and the woman I am with being uncomfortable with such friendships, for the same reason you've mentioned. I am as true as they come and I know that...by, so many think that all of us guys have ulterior motives.

Much like @Oscarinaoftime , I have 4 sisters and am protective of women. That doesn't mean I've never hurt one...I am human, but I always did my best to be honest and show consideration for their feelings. 

Fact is, you could possibly meet the love of your life as a friend. The best way to weed out the men who have such anterior motives is to just be friends for a while and see where it leads down the line. The guys only looking for one thing will nit be sticking around long. The others...well, maybe they'll be more and maybe they won't...but, either way, us men can make pretty solid friends. It will also help, if they're able to speak neutrally, to get a male's perspective when having relationship issues. Sometimes the woman is wrong...a good male friend will help you understand that from the male side and help you better communicate with them.

Fyi, I was not offended. Just figured I would Share my opinion on it.


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## FreeSpirit (Jun 1, 2011)

@Saira

You sound a lot like me.

But now, at thirty years old, I think I know why I have a hard time
getting female friends.

1. I don't have a lot of friends all together because I am so busy
with my own projects, as well as the fact that I find close
relationships draining <--- probably not your problem

2. THIS IS THE BIGGEST ONE: Though other women find me
amusing in small doses, I get the sense that not only do they
find the things I am into not interesting (I'm into a lot of 
traditional 'guy' things) but MOST OF ALL, they find me
offensive. 

This is because while they have chosen a more
traditional 'female' route in life- I have ignored it all together,
refusing to have kids, being the 'bread winner' of my house
and otherwise ignoring my 'femaleness' in every situation-
such as 'oh this box is too heavy! Where is a man to lift
it?" 

I have many, many times turned right to the woman
beside me at work who has just said something like this
and lifted the box for her. Not to show her up, not to be
weird- because that's just what I do. 

The other women laugh at this kind of behavior in me in a 
good-natured way, but I can tell they think I am not a 
'woman's woman' and am not the type of girl they are going 
to get a lot of sympathy from in 'girl gossip'. A lot of the times 
when a girl comes to me to talk about their relationship problems,
in fact, half the time I end up explaining to them that
they've probably misunderstood their boyfriend and are 
mad at him for no reason.

I also find that often, other girls will want to talk to me in
order to talk trash about another girl. This is just not
my thing, not on any level. I always end up defending the
other girl. This makes other girls think they can't really
'talk' with me.

They also seem to like to talk about periods, and other
people's relationship problems. Also not into that.

Granted this isn't all girls, but it is a lot of them.

Then, when I start to talk about something I'm interested in-
"What did you think of the new Batman movie? Do you
think the new Spiderman was better? I did. I'm so
excited about Judge Dredd coming out this fall."

I get, "Oh, yea, hmmm," glazed bored look.

"Oh, yea, and my car has a transmission leak. Do you know anybody 
with a jack and some jack stands?"

I get, "Uh... I don't know. My dad, maybe."

Then when they do try to invite me to something, because they
ARE nice people, I am forced to say, "No, but thanks." Because
I don't much like chick flicks, boxed wine and I don't have kids.

Saddest thing is, I think these gals are nice. It's just that
we having way, way too many clashing qualities.


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## Le Beau Coeur (Jan 30, 2011)

JaySH said:


> mme
> 
> That is a little unfair, no? Fact is, most guys will have some level of interest in an attractive female even if she is just a friend. That doesn't mean they'll act on it and it doesn't mean it's the only reason for the friendship. Wen I was younger I had more female friends than male. Most of them, though the thought may have crossed my mind, I was not interested in being more. We were close friends and I knew, though attractive, they wouldn't be right for me as more...and it wasn't worth ruining our friendship.
> 
> ...


You might think it's unfair, but it's sometimes how I feel. Sorry.


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## JaySH (Jul 29, 2012)

Le Beau Coeur said:


> You might think it's unfair, but it's sometimes how I feel. Sorry.


Don't be sorry. I'm sorry if i offended you ...i realized maybe it wouldn't read just as another way to look at it..that yiu might think I was giving you a hard time for feeling that way..and I definitely wasn't. I didn't mean just unfair to men..but unfair to you as well as some if us men are actually standup people. That said, I certainly can appreciate why you'd feel that way. I've met many men that are perfect examples of why you would. 

Again..sorry if it read wrong. I meant no offense and I do understand.


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## Le Beau Coeur (Jan 30, 2011)

JaySH said:


> Don't be sorry. I'm sorry if i offended you ...i realized maybe it wouldn't read just as another way to look at it..that yiu might think I was giving you a hard time for feeling that way..and I definitely wasn't. I didn't mean just unfair to men..but unfair to you as well as some if us men are actually standup people. That said, I certainly can appreciate why you'd feel that way. I've met many men that are perfect examples of why you would.
> 
> Again..sorry if it read wrong. I meant no offense and I do understand.


I think you misunderstood me. Honestly I shouldn't have been writing the last few days I just got home from the hospital as I have been very ill, so maybe I haven't been able to express myself well.

It's nothing I meant against men.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

Kyandigaru said:


> @*Shinji Mimura *
> 
> so she needs to find out what about her vagina that keeps attracting "ain't shit bitches?!!!!"


I'm borrowing that term: "ain't shit bitches."


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## Saira (Feb 2, 2012)

@FreeSpirit

Yeah, we're very similar (and I guess we also have a similar taste in music, I _love_ your avatar). I bet we'd fight over a box. "I'll carry it." "No, here, let me!"... Just kidding, but yeah, I'm also annoyed by women (and men) who are scared of getting their hands dirty.

I also find close relationships draining. Well, maybe not draining, but I'm a total retard when it comes to socializing in general. Close relationships need both sides to give time and energy and I'm so solitary that I simply forget to call my best friends for days or even weeks. So they call me wondering if I'm alive and then, when I go out, I'm like a chipmunk on drugs. I love my friends for tolerating my social irresponsibility.


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## JaySH (Jul 29, 2012)

Le Beau Coeur said:


> I think you misunderstood me. Honestly I shouldn't have been writing the last few days I just got home from the hospital as I have been very ill, so maybe I haven't been able to express myself well.
> 
> It's nothing I meant against men.


I think we both are having that issue. And, since you've been sick, I imagine you haven't felt like doing much so being on here has at least kept you occupied,which is a good thing :happy:.

I didn't take it as you were insulting men...just that you had a hard time trusting them as friends because you felt they had ulterior motives. That's what I was replying to...but, I was at work, on a quick break and trying to respond quickly so I really didn't express myself well either. Anywho, I'm sorry you're so sick and hope you're on the road to recovery and feeling better. 

Change of subject...
So, how bout those..ummm... .....eehhh...I got nothing ...:tongue:


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## Kyandigaru (Mar 11, 2012)

@*Promethea * 
I know right...? I took it from that vid he posted! lol


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## bella123 (Aug 12, 2012)

Kyandigaru said:


> @*Promethea *
> I know right...? I took it from that vid he posted! lol


Your post made me burst out laughing :laughing: It's exactly the kind of dry, sarky thing I might say after a brief silence, with an unimpressed yet vaguely amused facial expression...


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## xEmilyx (Jan 3, 2011)

fourtines said:


> Probably not flirting with other people's bfs helps you have at least a few female friends. And I know "tomboyish" women that have lots of guy friends who still aren't hated by women at all. I know a couple of them, one I was friends with in high school, and one I'm friends with on-line.
> 
> I had plenty of guy friends in high school but my best friend and other friends were still female.
> 
> I honestly think when this happens people need to blame themselves a bit more and stop blaming others.



i'm not blaming anyone lol, i was just saying that i don't have a lot of female friends that's all. 
oh and i don't flirt with anyone, especially with people's boyfriends lol xD that's wrong.


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## ilphithra (Jun 22, 2010)

airotciV said:


> Logic train for girls: If my friend is more pleasing and accepting than me, men will not look at me. I am better off being friends with someone that I believe I am better than because I will be able to attract the fellow I want, in the meantime I'll spread rumours about this chick all the guy's are friends with PFF!


... my brain can't compute this... it isn't logical...


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## porosityofpious (Jul 22, 2012)

If so many women hate you, the problem lies in you and not everyone else.


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## Raichan (Jul 15, 2010)

In certain 'sub cultures' (for me a sub culture doesn't necessarily have to be the ones labelled academically) or even petty high school politics, girls are somehow 'socialized' indirectly to be competitive with each other and it can be difficult.

I suggest; try to find female friends online or in another area. If not, just enjoy and take it easy with male friends, as long as you're safe and not stepping over other people's boundaries.

I don't care anymore if I have more female or male friends, to be honest. I care more about the quality of the friendships that we have.


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## Raichan (Jul 15, 2010)

Saira said:


> Haha, exactly this. I get that feeling myself sometimes.
> 
> You make wonderful points. I know I should sometimes tone my personality down a bit. I guess I can sometimes be "too much" to most people. But damn it's hard because I'm not acting or seeking attention or thinking about sex, it's just the way I communicate, I like connecting with people, making an impression on them.
> 
> ...


Hmm your intentions may be really pure, but it may be that some women may have mistaken even your basic communication as flirting. How is your body language like when you talk to their boyfriends etc? It might need checking on.

Hate to say it, but it's just women (well even men really) can be possessive and pick up on subtle things, this doesn't mean it is your fault though.


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## marked174 (Feb 24, 2010)

Saira said:


> Haha, exactly this. I get that feeling myself sometimes.
> 
> You make wonderful points. I know I should sometimes tone my personality down a bit. I guess I can sometimes be "too much" to most people. But damn it's hard because I'm not acting or seeking attention or thinking about sex, it's just the way I communicate, I like connecting with people, making an impression on them.
> 
> ...


No, it's not. If this behavior was contained within its own merits, then it would not be gender specific. In other words, if you talking to boys makes other girls hate you, then men would feel the same way when it happens to other men. But as you pointed out, this issue is gender specific.
Girls should not base their opinions of other girls in a way that is completely revolving around agendas with men. It puts said men on a pedestal that they don't deserve, and worse, they corrupt the very nature of relationships between them (objectifying men as a piece of meat that women own.)


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## Ethanol (Jul 31, 2010)

I dunno where you live, I was done and over with meeting hater girls after middle school haha. In my present small world the women don't hate on each other. Insecure ones might, but that's because they haven't matured yet  There's always hope!

I've met plenty of sane, odd, weird, mean, and cool chicks throughout my life and they're all quirky in their own lovable ways... the only ones I can't stand are the ones who seek validation. 

A girl who has no understanding that they are valuable and must seek validation, comes off desperate and it's just a sad thing to watch. Not only that, but this 'seeking validation' is so strong that they'll push anyone out of the way to reach it, even the ones who are trying to help you or worse yet they'll crush the ones who already value them!

I tried helping a girl realize her self worth but got repaid instead with her belittling me infront of friends in search for this 'validation' that she doesn't even need lol I was trying to help her :frustrating: I genuinely gave a shit, but after that I clocked out and stopped caring.

So I guess for me, I don't 'hate' any one and won't go around disliking my own gender; women are wonderful, women are mothers, sisters, and lovers. 

I love my mom, if I had a sister I think it would be a wonderful thing but instead I've been blessed with a brother who I love, I love my female friends - they make me laugh and are there to help me with guy problems. 

I like women who are comfortable in their own skin, strong, uplifting, nurturing, respectful, successful, loving and those are the ones I'm lucky to have in my life. They set the ultimate example. I think a woman who has reached the pinnacle of maturity is one who puts her desires aside to nurture a life other than her own, she is selfless, she is a true mother and sometimes of all those around her because your success is her success haha 

I've always wanted to be hit on by a woman, but that's never happened once in my entire life haha -__-; No I'm not a lesbian or bi, I just think genuine compliments from a woman is like cake; delicious and yummy, I want another! It just means so much more >__>


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## petite libellule (Jul 4, 2012)

Saira said:


> I'd really appreciate your advice.
> 
> I've never ever had a female friend. It really depresses me when I see girls socializing and making long-lasting friendships, while I'm left aside wondering what the hell is wrong with me. I'm even more confused because I get along great with guys so I obviously don't have a horrible personality.
> 
> ...


I have to admit I kinda cheery picked through comments, not gonna read the whole thing through - what type are you? I myself was always able to have only best friends, up to 3 girls at a time. Never was in any "click" ... of course my life would have been a little more awesome if I knew I was INFJ and not a freak. I also played video games, played outside and wasn't too into "girly" activities despite the girly personality. So generally speaking, those "typical" girls and I never really clicked. And I took things personal when I should not have and so on.

I think it's important you learn your type, and you as a whole (because type is only a tendency, not you in your entirety). So for me, I don't do small talk well, I don't do the party thing well ... I AM girly but I'm absolutely capable of keeping "tougher" girls as my best friends (because I have) and when those differences come up, we appreciate them. I entertain them and vice versa. It's good to socialize with other girls because you DO need to feed your soul with genuine friendships of a variety of characters throughout your life. This is healthy. 

Also, I noticed the post was all your positives, you need to be brutally honest with yourself. Your capacity to be honest with those around you is directly proportional to your capacity to be honest with yourself. (this is where your complimentary opposite friends come into play, you can keep an eye out on each others blind spots so to speak, so you don't get in a car accident on the road of life, wherever you are headed) 

finally, I think it's really important to seek like minded people in the idea of shared values, and goals. 
Everything else in life is really just commentary. Just IMO.


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## JaySH (Jul 29, 2012)

Ningsta Kitty said:


> I have to admit I kinda cheery picked through comments, not gonna read the whole thing through - what type are you? I myself was always able to have only best friends, up to 3 girls at a time. Never was in any "click" ... of course my life would have been a little more awesome if I knew I was INFJ and not a freak. I also played video games, played outside and wasn't too into "girly" activities despite the girly personality. So generally speaking, those "typical" girls and I never really clicked. And I took things personal when I should not have and so on.
> 
> I think it's important you learn your type, and you as a whole (because type is only a tendency, not you in your entirety). So for me, I don't do small talk well, I don't do the party thing well ... I AM girly but I'm absolutely capable of keeping "tougher" girls as my best friends (because I have) and when those differences come up, we appreciate them. I entertain them and vice versa. It's good to socialize with other girls because you DO need to feed your soul with genuine friendships of a variety of characters throughout your life. This is healthy.
> 
> ...


I think this is great advice for many..and I especially like the bolded part....quite the analogical phrase for what you are advising...wise words my friend...wise words.


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## castigat (Aug 26, 2012)

You shouldn't have to change any part of yourself just to procure yourself a female friend. I'd tell you to wait it out, but I'm not sure if that's what you're used to.

But me, I'm indiscriminate; I dislike most girls. Not on principle, but when I figure out that a girl is generally extremely complainy (like I am LOL) and acts like she's on the rag all the time (which I'm not), I tend not to want to hang around them. 
Yeah, I had horrible experiences in school with girls. I had a ton of guy friends, but all I received from girls was a lot of mind games, psychological warfare, and emotional bullying/abuse. Every bit of crap I got, a girl was the mastermind. So, I have a vendetta against most of them.

However, you seem like a very good person (I'm not lying to make you feel better), and I don't see why other girls wouldn't want to befriend you - unless they really _are _bitches, and I'm not just being paranoid. Do girls grow up? I know I haven't yet.


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## chip (Oct 12, 2011)

I often notice that many women I encounter give me dirty looks or are competitive in some form. I usually get quiet and feel weird around females like that.


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## Raichan (Jul 15, 2010)

porosityofpious said:


> If so many women hate you, the problem lies in you and not everyone else.


Not necessarily, hatred can be born out of many things : a misrepresented reputation, jealousy, misunderstanding, etc. It's the basic of human nature.

It may be the person's fault and it also may not be the person's fault.

Especially in today's world, there is so much room for competition / 'clique'-like mentality that certain impression people can get swayed and confused.


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## Le Beau Coeur (Jan 30, 2011)

Raichan said:


> Not necessarily, hatred can be born out of many things : a misrepresented reputation, jealousy, misunderstanding, etc. It's the basic of human nature.
> 
> It may be the person's fault and it also may not be the person's fault.
> 
> Especially in today's world, there is so much room for competition / 'clique'-like mentality that certain impression people can get swayed and confused.


I agree.


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## Sapphyreopal5 (Jun 11, 2012)

*"I'm always nice and warm to everyone. I give compliments, I smile a lot, I even flirt with the girls if they're fun."
*Okay a lot of people are naturally like this; however, some may get the impression that you are being fake and such. To some women, this may be seen as a threat simply because they are not as outgoing or as friendly. Hey, I will be one of the first to tell you that a lot of women are a bunch of catty biotches, although I know a lot are not this way.
*
"I never talk behind someone's back. If I have a problem, I say it to their face."
*I will say that this may be 100% for a lot of people and find myself agreeing with that to an extent. Naturally, a lot people are not very good at accepting criticism anyways, as it could be perceived as a threat. Why? It threatens people's status within a group and being accepted by others within a social situation. It's possible it might not be the fact you are being upfront with people, it could be _how_ you are saying it, which may turn them off to what you have to say.
*
"I'm either on or off: either too loud and confident or I'm quietly enjoying and taking in my surroundings."
*Hmmm. I suppose this could be a cause of confusion by some, as they may perceive you as being "fake" and acting one way when you're really another. I mean clearly this isn't always the case, as not everyone is 100% extroverted or 100% introverted, but I'm just saying someone could perceive it as such.

*"I like being in the center of attention, but I also like listening."
*Okay, I think that sometimes people who are very extroverted and enjoy "being in the center of attention" often give the impression that they don't really want to hear what others have to say and perhaps they don't. Sometimes people believe that extroverted people have a hard time listening to others without wanting to talk. There's a difference between hearing and _listening_. I'm not saying you aren't willing to listen to others because I don't know you irl but I'm saying that could be the vibe you give others.

*"I'm open-minded and accepting of everyone."*
While I believe this may be true, what if other women don't believe this about you? Furthermore, your post gives me the vibe that you aren't as open-minded and accepting of others as you may think. I say this because it seems that you not only don't have common grounds with a lot of other women, you also seem unwilling to change who you are at least around them. I get the impression you only want to be friends with those who accept you the way you want them to, and not necessarily who you are really. If you were really as open-minded of others, you would try to find more common grounds with other women than you are right now. Also, I believe that if you were really as accepting of others as you say or believe, I think you would be more willing to compromise with others' comfort zone and what their views are and such.

*"Women think I'm incredibly stupid. Men respect me and compliment my intelligence".*
Could you elaborate on this a little more, as to why women say this (and why men compliment and respect you)? This could either be due to insecurities, not seeing their point of view on things (perhaps) or even dismissing their point of view, or they just do not understand where you are coming from on things. As Frenchie said, it probably has to do with women feeling insecure from the competition they feel with you.

*"May be I'm too playfully seductive, but that's just the way I was born, it's not sexual to me and toning it down would make me fake."
*When you say playfully seductive, do you mean playfully hitting on others, make a lot of sexual jokes...? If this is the nature of your statement, then perhaps this has to do with a comfort zone they might perceive as being invasive. If you look at it from a general point of view, women are more likely to be "less open" about sexual talk or even just being hit on generally speaking or whatever. I know this is NOT the case for all women and everyone's different, this is *just* an observation. This can just be them being uptight, a simple preference, or perhaps they find themselves intimidated or even threatened by this behavior due to negative experiences from their past. Or they could be wondering what your intentions are with them, which can be a cause for discomfort at times too.

*"I'm usually very positive and happy." AND "I'm never jealous or bitchy or complaining"*
I tend to believe that insecure, unhappy women are threatened by other women who are confident and happy. For some reason, they perceive confident, happy women as a threat perhaps because they wish they were able to be this way but aren't and therefore "hate" you for it. Afterall, there's a reason why the saying goes "misery loves company".
Insecure people often can be jealous and may complain about a lot of things. As far as your being outwardly confident, never jealous, etc., they could also perceive you as being cocky. To be honest, I kind of got this vibe based on a couple of your posts along with the original. 

*"I'm too free-spirited and I openly say I don't like relationships, so the girls who are serious might be offended."*
They perhaps don't think you take relations with others seriously. You say you don't like relationships with men or women (I'm assuming romantically is what you really mean), so perhaps they might think you don't take them seriously as a friend. It could also just be them being closed-minded and only being interested in having friends who are like themselves. If relationships really are important to them/are their whole life, then perhaps they find themselves unwilling to be friends with someone who doesn't have the same common ground values as them.

*"I don't have girly interests; I'm more into all the male stuff."*
Clearly this indicates a lack of common ground at least for a lot of women, depending on what you personally mean by "girly interests". 

Ultimately, if you want your situation with others to change, you either a. have to keep searching or b. come to some sort of social compromise so you can successfully get along with others. The overall vibe of your post gives me the impression that you look down upon others, which can be seen by others based on your actions or even in what you say. I also must admit that I got the impression that you are somewhat cocky. Please correct me if I'm wrong or I'm just taking the wrong angle, but your post gave me that vibe. 

I do feel like you did point out some of your "flaws" although you seemed to have otherwise mentioned only positive things as @Ningsta Kitty said (and I do agree with what she said about needing to be brutally honest with yourself). I do hope this post helps :happy:


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## Saira (Feb 2, 2012)

@Sapphyreopal5

Thank you, those are great points, and you've confirmed most of my guesses. You've helped me a lot. There's one thing you've made me notice that I didn't consciously realize before - I've always considered myself very acceptive, but now that I think of it, I'm not totally broad-minded. And I'm fine with that, I don't want to mold myself to other people's liking. Being charming to everyone is certainly not my priority, so that's probably the reason I might appear arrogant to some people. Anyway, thanks.


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## Kincsem (Oct 17, 2012)

I have a hard time really clicking with women, its not really anyone's fault. The problem is the same with men, but for a different reason. Women around here [as they are in other places, I am sure] are very clingy and too sociable for me. I have one friend who is extremely extroverted, and I have to take her in smalllll doses, otherwise I get irritated for no reason other than she demands a lot of time and energy. In my opinion, that is not her fault, its just who she is, and I don't think she should change just because I am not the same way.Also, I have issues hanging out in groups. I am perfectly fine one on one [in fact, several people have thought I was extroverted simply because I have no issues being personable.] As soon as a group of women want to do something along the lines of "girls night" I freeze up. I cannot stand the estrogen overload! I can never empathize with women over receiving the wrong gift on their anniversary or petty arguments with their siblings. I can't wrap my mind around why that would be important to them.Really, women are interesting, and some of them are great, but I don't have many female friends.Male friends are even more sparse, mainly because the guys that have tried hanging out with me have a hidden agenda. So, while I definitely prefer the companionship of a male to a female [they are easier to hang out with] they don't seem to want to be JUST friends. Even though there are these downsides, I am happy with the small circle of friends I have. If it were any bigger, I would be overwhelmed.


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## Nekomata (May 26, 2012)

I haven't had a single girl friend in years either. I just don't seem to have much in common with them... and I don't usually run into females who like anime or are gamer chicks - just the ones who seem bookish or gossip lots. I guess it also may partially be jealousy, for all reasons imaginable. A lot of girls seem far more better looking and thinner than me and have better dress sense and stuff, when all I ever do is get critisized, and therefore not bother putting in the effort to do anything. Meh. I generally prefer guys I guess, although my bf makes that harder offline these days and it feels more awkward too... xDDD. Dammit, I'll just befriend children, easier than everything combined~ I don't really know if I will befriend any females my age in the next few years, but I'll just have to wait and see... hopefully my people hating will go down in time XD


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## Doll (Sep 6, 2012)

I love women, provided that they're genuine, authentic, and aren't silly. I've found that I can relate more easily to woman than with men, and my most intense friendships have all been with women. I only have one male friend, and he's gay, so... our bond lies mostly in the fact that we're both 4s. 

My only trouble with women is that a lot of them seem to think I'm stuck-up.


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## DeductiveReasoner (Feb 25, 2011)

Issmene said:


> I like this video about this:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thank you thank you thank you! I love this video. I can't stand it when girls say that they don't hang out with other girls because they're catty and whatnot. Presuming all women to be catty, whiny bitches is actually very sexist, and against a girl's own sex as well! It's complete nonsense.


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## Navi (Jul 8, 2012)

Raichan said:


> Some women can be catty, that's life
> 
> Caroline Flack vs irresponsible teenage mag. « Bea


I. have. no. words. 

+10 for Bea.

As for that teen magazine...


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## Sapphyreopal5 (Jun 11, 2012)

Raichan said:


> Some women can be catty, that's life
> 
> Caroline Flack vs irresponsible teenage mag. « Bea


One word to describe that magazine article: WOW!


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## Choice (May 19, 2012)

Saira said:


> - I don't have girly interests; I'm more into all the male stuff.


 What kind of girly interests do you mean?


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