# Is this Sx or type 8s Lust?



## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

@karmachameleon

Again, NO. It's not necessarily about other people. It CAN be, but it can be about recklessness, intense experiences, doing something you're extremely passionate about, delving into obsessions. It's about being energized, engaged and invigorated, feeling alive and charged. 

Anyway, we're talking past each other. I've said what I had to say.


----------



## karmachameleon (Nov 1, 2015)

Again you try to get away from the sexual/attraction/spark part which is the most important part... Oh well.


----------



## Doll (Sep 6, 2012)

@fleur du mal we just been SCHOOLED, son.


----------



## Elscar (Jul 23, 2016)

Doll said:


> ^lmaooo anyway.
> 
> Time to wash my brain with some intellectual discussion.
> @Elscar, are you still set in your 8 typing? I saw some things about 7 in your typing thread and I'm wondering how sexual 7 might be playing into your understanding of your own type.


Honestly, I'm still confused lol. Not just about my instincts but also type. It seems like I'm either a 7 or an 8 though. You mentioned in my type me thread that you thought I could be Sx/Sp; what made you see Sp?

I wrote a little about how I relate to Sx 7 in my type me thread.

I wonder if I am at least very Sx-driven because I can very much relate to the metaphor of wanting to set myself on fire and burn to death. It's like I want an experience so intense that it kills me, because if I keep staying alive I'll always want more and more and that will never be enough. It like there's this strong energy inside me which, if I let myself be led by, can take me to crazy places and potentially very destructive ones. And I always go down in flames when I go along with it.
Does that sound like Sx?


----------



## Doll (Sep 6, 2012)

Elscar said:


> Honestly, I'm still confused lol. Not just about my instincts but also type. It seems like I'm either a 7 or an 8 though. You mentioned in my type me thread that you thought I could be Sx/Sp; what made you see Sp?


I think it was the general overall impression I received - a vibe. Not entirely reliable. When I read surveys I often compare some things to how I am or how I feel, which can often be a mistake. You have a more grounded presence than I do, although with your 8 influence, you would naturally be more grounded.



> I wrote a little about how I relate to Sx 7 in my type me thread.


I saw that. Generally, sx/so can be 7ish. I've had people get 7 vibes from me. At the heart of it, you have to go back to the core typing and try to push instincts out of the equation.



> I wonder if I am at least very Sx-driven because I can very much relate to the metaphor of wanting to set myself on fire and burn to death. It's like I want an experience so intense that it kills me, because if I keep staying alive I'll always want more and more and that will never be enough. It like there's this strong energy inside me which, if I let myself be led by, can take me to crazy places and potentially very destructive ones. And I always go down in flames when I go along with it.
> Does that sound like Sx?


Yes. Sx is very energy-driven, even aggressive. 7s naturally appear more sexual instinct oriented because of their taste for experience. 4s, because of their taste for depth and emotion. What you wrote above definitely looks like something an sx-first would write. In my opinion it comes off as a "heavier" 7, which can often be 8-like, although SX-first 4s have notoriously appeared 8-like for similar reasons. 4s, 7s, and 8s have more similarities than one might assume. I was surprised by how much I related to in your survey, but then I read about tritypes that it was common for someone who is 479 to relate to someone else who is 794, even if they have different cores. I have found this to be true, although I have 9 in my tritype instead of 8 (although I DO have the w8, and possibly the same instinctual stacking as you do, so a lot of what you said impacted me). 

Still, I would go back to basics when it came to your core, verses Sexual 7s and Sexual 8s; I think that would help clear up some things.


----------



## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Elscar said:


> Honestly, I'm still confused lol. Not just about my instincts but also type. It seems like I'm either a 7 or an 8 though. You mentioned in my type me thread that you thought I could be Sx/Sp; what made you see Sp?
> 
> I wrote a little about how I relate to Sx 7 in my type me thread.
> 
> ...


I would say that depends far more on _why_ you feel that way to be honest. I can't say I actually overly relate to what you write much and it comes across mostly as how Fe types seem to conceptualize sx or just intensity in general. I'm one of the most sx people I know in my friendship circle. There are very few individuals I have met that have been capable of matching my need for intense connectivity with someone or something else and I don't feel that what you write quite matches my personal experience of how I experience myself. If anything I often feel the opposite, that I am constantly stuck in a world full of greys and there is no color to spice it up and I'm just stuck in a haze. It takes time for me to feel that I am fully awake because most things are just so bland and uninteresting I automatically tune it out. That's exactly why I also always am looking for the spice in order to brighten my world and make it more lively, except that spice is of course always short-lived. 

I think some of this perception is heavily colored by my 9 wing though. @Lord Bullingdon not sure how familiar this sounds to you. 

Another problem I see with describing sx the way as has been done in this thread is that it is almost close to impossible to delineate it from type 8's lust, since many descriptions of lust tend to equal it to intensity. I agree that there is a component to lust that is about intensity, but that component needn't be about relationships which I actually think the sx instinct is solely about. I agree with @karmachameleon that it's about a sense of chemistry; you know whether you click or not with someone else. When it comes to experiencing intensity in other activities, there is no chemistry or clicking per se and it's not like non-sx types cannot get caught up doing something for several hours despite not being healthy or responsible of them. It is not very nuanced to say that this is because they momentarily tapped into their sx energy when doing that, especially if this is a recurring thing for them. There are many other underlying motivations why people may do that.

From my own experience by speaking to an observing non-sx firsts, this need for relationships and relationship chemistry isn't really present, if at all. I know an sp/so that literally said to me that she only finds it meaningful to get into a relationship once she feels that she's gotten all her practical life aspects (health, home and finances) together. So while obviously and clearly no one is saying that non-sp types cannot ever experience a longing for relationship intimacy, it is, from a cognitive standpoint, not really a main concern for them. I've seen sp doms literally saying that they are fine living single their whole lives. Not because they are asexual, but because there is no real deep neurotic desire for them to have a mate. Instead they are neurotic over other things; their minds do not immediately focus on their (sexual/romantic) desirability, their ability to keep and repulse mates, their role and nature in relationships and so on like sx firsts do. 

So with regards to how instincts appear in correlation to types, I don't know why people are focusing so much on the actual behaviors as opposed to the inner perception/world view of the instinct. Enneagram, just like the MBTI or whatever, is about cognition and cognition means mental perception, how you think about and understand the world around you.

Every type sees the world in its own specific way, that is the very point of the enneagram. Saying an 8 or a 7 are such and such because they feel or behave this particular way without describing the inner rationale to as why they do so often becomes very misleading and easily leads to feeling confused because people rarely are caricature enough to fit a singular behavioral description. We are complex and often do things that are contradictory, especially when we try to compare ourselves to a type description. This is made further complicated by the fact that we may not always be fully aware of our own behaviors so we may even think that we are or do a certain thing even when we may in fact not. 

Personally, I have a very simple view of the instincts nowadays that I think fits very well with how they appear in the types. People just over-complicate by using big words with little meaning in themselves. We think we understand a concept when it is merely but its shadow. The types and subsequently the instincts, aren't really these big archetypal concepts that people make them sound like and when we play up how we match this experience, I actually think we seriously reduce ourselves and our own humanity in so doing. They are just normal every stuff you see in real life because we are normal people. Different, but intrinsically normal. Not larger-than-life concepts that ultimately few except those extremely unhealthy, are capable of embodying. In fact, I don't think we should. If we do, we are not embracing our humanity but we are erasing ourselves by replacing who we truly are with something we are intrinsically not.


----------



## karmachameleon (Nov 1, 2015)

@Entropic amen! It puzzles me when people say romance/attraction is not the main part about sx. The whole illusion of sx is being half of a person. I've embarrassed myself in the past by moving quickly and scaring people away after we both established that we're into eachother, because I want it all and I want it now, "I like you and you like me so let's continue this merging right away?" And try to isolate them from all other threats (girls). 
But I'm usually attracted to sp/sx so they're like uh.. I have an sp/sx friend, he brought up the idea of dating but with no feelings involved. I couldn't believe what he was talking about. Lol. It just makes 0 sense to me that you would date someone you don't want to fall in love with. And if you're attracted to the person how the hell do you manage to not get attached or get feelings? So strange. Romance is my number 1 source of happiness, so why wouldn't you want that. :/
He said something like "sex and romance is a comfort zone for me, but I don't want it to be serious".. (he's also 479 though, so the freedom-loving tritype...) That's like the same how I am with money. I enjoy shopping and spending money, but I don't like to sit and talk about money and save, invest in things long term etc.. don't enjoy being serious with it.


----------



## Elscar (Jul 23, 2016)

@Doll I see. I do wonder if I'm actually So-last because it's not an instinct I tend to reject. In fact, I feel generally very open to it and see it as an area of fun and exploration. If I simply just read an Sx 8 vs Sx 7 description, I relate more to Sx 8. Plus, I've never had a natural inclination to be "too enthusiastic" or see the world through rose-colored glasses which seem to be key words that describe the Sx 7.

@Entropic There really doesn't seem to be an official consensus on what the instincts are. There's loads of conflicting information about them, especially Sx. I've heard it been described as "the death instinct" which is similar to what I previously wrote and simply just a desire for relationships and chemistry. And others say that it's both lol but what if you can only relate to one? What about it is so fucking difficult to make up your mind about geez.

But I hear you, and I won't say that I agree either with you or anyone who has another view on Sx. Rather, I'm remaining open until I figure it out myself.

Actually, to just quickly interject, the way you see Sx, I can imagine many non-Sx people could relate to since doesn't many people want to be in relationships or find "the one"? Focus on chemistry is something I also think non-Sx people could relate to, especially when it comes to romantic relationships.

The reason why I asked if the part of me that wants intensity is Sx is because some may interpret it as 7ish, but I have a friend who's a 7w8 Sp/So (I know it's just one example, but still) and she's quite the opposite of me when it comes to what I said. There have been many times when I've wanted to indulge in intensity and she's wanted nothing to do with it -- it's almost as if she's judgemental towards it (and yes, she is no doubt a 7). But if it's not necessarily Sx, or 7ish, then what the hell is it??


----------



## Doll (Sep 6, 2012)

Elscar said:


> @*Doll* I see. I do wonder if I'm actually So-last because it's not an instinct I tend to reject. In fact, I feel generally very open to it and see it as an area of fun and exploration. If I simply just read an Sx 8 vs Sx 7 description, I relate more to Sx 8. Plus, I've never had a natural inclination to be "too enthusiastic" or see the world through rose-colored glasses which seem to be key words that describe the Sx 7.


Some descriptions do describe sexual 7s as being overly enthusiastic, even verbose, but those are surface level characteristics that I wouldn't read too much into. The type is in the positive triad, but that doesn't mean 7s are positive all of the time. Unhealthy 7s take on traits of an unhealthy 5 and have a tendency toward nihilism. Inherently they want to keep things light and are escapists, just as the 9 is, but this means the feelings they repress can have an ultimate "crash and burn" effect that makes them look similar to a 4.



> And others say that it's both lol but what if you can only relate to one? What about it is so fucking difficult to make up your mind about geez.


I personally think it's a bit of both, lol. I think picking one of the other is severely limiting. Instincts are with us our entire lives, but I wasn't romantic-oriented when I was five. I think the sx-instinct is most obvious in romantic relationships, but for me it manifested most in intense friendships and/or obsessions. Stimulation is more 7ish, but for me _emotional_ stimulation and depth is what I seek, and this ties into being a type 4. That is why I think the instincts are more intertwined with and type specific. I'd be careful about putting too much stock into descriptions, though... although they are helpful.



> But I hear you, and I won't say that I agree either with you or anyone who has another view on Sx. Rather, I'm remaining open until I figure it out myself.


That's pretty much what you have to do. It'll click when it clicks.



> Actually, to just quickly interject, the way you see Sx, I can imagine many non-Sx people could relate to since doesn't many people want to be in relationships or find "the one"? Focus on chemistry is something I also think non-Sx people could relate to, especially when it comes to romantic relationships.


^ Yeah. SP-firsts might be romance-centered if it makes them feel more secure. 

I didn't seek romance. I was convinced I would never get married, because I was "too much" to take. Instead I had toxic friendships that bordered on obsession, or became manically involved with writing and fantasy, to the point where it consumed all my energy and passion. I poured _everything_ into it and it was fulfilling in a way the "real world" could never be. Actual people felt like pale imitations of those I could create on page, and the friendships I made fed into this obsession and fuel for emotional intensity. I was this way from a very young age. Looking back, I see that I received satisfaction from it in a way that could be interpreted as sexual in its desire for union, chemistry, and the spark I felt with those who shared these things with me, but at the time that wasn't what it was.



> The reason why I asked if the part of me that wants intensity is Sx is because some may interpret it as 7ish, but I have a friend who's a 7w8 Sp/So (I know it's just one example, but still) and she's quite the opposite of me when it comes to what I said. There have been many times when I've wanted to indulge in intensity and she's wanted nothing to do with it -- it's almost as if she's judgemental towards it (and yes, she is no doubt a 7). But if it's not necessarily Sx, or 7ish, then what the hell is it??


Type 7 isn't really about intensity all in itself, so much as the desire for experience and a thirst for the future. I think the Sx in any type naturally intensifies it, but it isn't going to take away from or negate the core of that type. If you don't relate to 7 all by itself, without the sexual instinct thrown in, then you aren't type 7.

If you relate more to type 8, I would start from there.


----------



## Elscar (Jul 23, 2016)

@Doll



> If you don't relate to 7 all by itself, without the sexual instinct thrown in, then you aren't type 7.


This is so true so I decided to go more in depth with it.

If I look at these "idealized aspects" below written by Sandra Maitri, I don't relate to 7 much at all. My aim is never happiness, because I feel too fundamentally angry to be seeking that.
I want great stimulation and have a strong need to feel "alive" but if I just leave myself to my own devices and don't try to force anything inside of me, I won't be naturally inclined to search for a sense of joy or simple happiness. That would simply feel unnatural. It's like I _know_ I can be happy and more positive in life, but a huge part of me rejects that because I see it as too vulnerable.

I definitely relate to the text about type 8 though.



> *The Idealized Aspect*
> *Enneatype Seven: The Yellow*
> The Essential Aspect of the Yellow is the experience of joy, delight, appreciation, and simple happiness. It is a warmth in the heart, which might be ebullient and bubbly or calm and deep. Sevens want to feel this gentle happiness rather than their parched and dry inner emptiness. So they look for stimulating ideas and things to get excited about, and their style is one of appearing optimistic, enlivened, enthusiastic, and above all, okay. They try to plot their course toward whatever holds the promise of joy, and so mapping and planning are central to their process. Lacking trust in their natural unfoldment, they try to make their inner process conform to their mental map, which they hope will lead them to the treasure that will finally bring them happiness. Driven by fear of how things will unfold, they always have backup maps and plans. They usually have many different things they are interested in and can get excited about, and lose their motivation when things get repetitive and difficult. Sevens often seem wired and mental, charming and talkative, but sometimes leaving you wondering where the substance is.





> *
> The Idealized Aspect*
> *Enneatype 8: The Red*
> The Essential Aspect of the Red gives us a sense of aliveness, vitality, vibrancy, strength, and capacity. It gives us initiative and forcefulness, boldness and daring. Eights believe that strength is the answer, and so they attempt to control and dominate, to bully and overwhelm to gain a sense of it. They have little tolerance for what they consider weakness or deficiency, and so have difficulty with "soft" feelings, especially pain and fear, both in themselves and others. Imitating the Red, they engage life with gusto and passion, forcefully and aggressively going after what they want. With the need to be in charge and take the lead, they have difficulty not being the boss and going along with someone else's wishes. They are fighters for what they believe in, and just as the Red is the power to defend what is real, Eights are fierce defenders of what they consider to be the truth. They seem to others large in energy, with a strong and powerful presence even when they aren't saying a word. Some Eights seem to have a perpetual chip on their shoulders, meeting life with belligerence and bluster. They have difficulty being vulnerable and receptive, tend to stay very much in control and in charge, and often feel energetically hard.


----------



## Doll (Sep 6, 2012)

@*Elscar* 

To be honest, I didn't see much evidence of core 7 in your survey, so this isn't much of a surprise to me. You just have a different affect than what I have seen in type 7, although there are certainly depressed or heavy 7s... they all aren't lightness and air. The mistake people make is to type themselves when they're unhealthy, though. If this is your baseline, then I would feel confident that you are definitely more type 8 than type 7.

I would also look at the direction of disintegration/integration, because those can show you patterns and might even solidify your suspicions. A type 8, when healthier, can be rather caring and giving and take on the positive qualities of type 2. 2 is their direction of integration. Their direction of disintegration is type 5, when an 8 becomes aloof and withdrawn when they are unhealthy. I said type 5 was type 7's direction of disintegration, but I mixed them up. It always confuses me that 7 goes to 1. 

This always provided good insight for me, because I could look back at behaviors that indicated both types as I moved between various stages of health.


----------



## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Elscar said:


> @Doll I see. I do wonder if I'm actually So-last because it's not an instinct I tend to reject. In fact, I feel generally very open to it and see it as an area of fun and exploration. If I simply just read an Sx 8 vs Sx 7 description, I relate more to Sx 8. Plus, I've never had a natural inclination to be "too enthusiastic" or see the world through rose-colored glasses which seem to be key words that describe the Sx 7.
> 
> @Entropic There really doesn't seem to be an official consensus on what the instincts are. There's loads of conflicting information about them, especially Sx. I've heard it been described as "the death instinct" which is similar to what I previously wrote and simply just a desire for relationships and chemistry. And others say that it's both lol but what if you can only relate to one? What about it is so fucking difficult to make up your mind about geez.
> 
> But I hear you, and I won't say that I agree either with you or anyone who has another view on Sx. Rather, I'm remaining open until I figure it out myself.


I agree, there is a lot of conflicting information out there. I would say calling it akin to thanatos is just another typical heavy-handed jargon that sounds very impressive and cool but ultimately you wonder wtf it really means once you begin to actually think about it.

Which is why I say focus first and foremost on the core type and the instinct will come on its own later. It's about seeing what the instinct is for what it is first, and same holds true for the core type. It's only when you grasp both as individual concepts that you begin to see how they appear when paired together in a person. 

With that said, I do want to point out that 7 isn't necessarily just about raindows and sunshine; positive outlook is more about reframing the negative into something that feels easier to handle e.g. that wasn't really as bad as I thought. 7w8 is particularly anti-establishment. If you're a movie goer, Harley Quinn and Deadpool are two very recent 7w8s appearing on the cinema screen, or the Joker in the Dark Knight series another one. One could furthermore argue that all of them are sx firsts, though there is an argument that Joker is more likely a social dom and Deadpool could possibly be one, but I think he's more likely sx/so. 

All of these characters are also quite strongly driven by a sense of inner rage of injustice and can in various situations appear quite 8-like, especially the Joker and Deadpool. I would say none of them are particularly positive characters and have an inclination towards being inherently cynical. It's typically the 7w6 that's more positive and uplifting. 



> Actually, to just quickly interject, the way you see Sx, I can imagine many non-Sx people could relate to since doesn't many people want to be in relationships or find "the one"? Focus on chemistry is something I also think non-Sx people could relate to, especially when it comes to romantic relationships.


And that's why neuroticism is key which is why perspective matters. Not just a desire, but perspective. Anyone can be angry or anxious too, but it doesn't make them head or gut types. Like I mentioned, my sp/so friend does think about relationships but her perspective is that you need all your social and material stuff together before you enter one. That's very different from the "dive deep in" attitude of sx types. She finds that need for intense connection right away irresponsible. 


> The reason why I asked if the part of me that wants intensity is Sx is because some may interpret it as 7ish, but I have a friend who's a 7w8 Sp/So (I know it's just one example, but still) and she's quite the opposite of me when it comes to what I said. There have been many times when I've wanted to indulge in intensity and she's wanted nothing to do with it -- it's almost as if she's judgemental towards it (and yes, she is no doubt a 7). But if it's not necessarily Sx, or 7ish, then what the hell is it??


Could just be outside of anything related typology. Another issue with typology is that people tend to want to attribute every little single thing about them to it, like it should describe the entirety of them as a person. It doesn't, though, but merely a nugget. There are many reasons why we're different and typology is just one of them.



karmachameleon said:


> @Entropic amen! It puzzles me when people say romance/attraction is not the main part about sx. The whole illusion of sx is being half of a person. I've embarrassed myself in the past by moving quickly and scaring people away after we both established that we're into eachother, because I want it all and I want it now, "I like you and you like me so let's continue this merging right away?" And try to isolate them from all other threats (girls).
> But I'm usually attracted to sp/sx so they're like uh.. I have an sp/sx friend, he brought up the idea of dating but with no feelings involved. I couldn't believe what he was talking about. Lol. It just makes 0 sense to me that you would date someone you don't want to fall in love with. And if you're attracted to the person how the hell do you manage to not get attached or get feelings? So strange. Romance is my number 1 source of happiness, so why wouldn't you want that. :/
> He said something like "sex and romance is a comfort zone for me, but I don't want it to be serious".. (he's also 479 though, so the freedom-loving tritype...) That's like the same how I am with money. I enjoy shopping and spending money, but I don't like to sit and talk about money and save, invest in things long term etc.. don't enjoy being serious with it.


Well, romance _can_ be a part of what sx is, but I've returned to this idea that sx is about intimate relationships (part of why sx wants to go so deep is because it craves a very deep and strongly felt sense of intimacy), so is about friendship and the social sphere/society, and sp is about your physical survival. Clear, simple and easy. My current work place is very so heavy for example, many so doms there and the work culture itself caters to it. So there's a lot of focus on friendship, togetherness in the more superficial sense of having a good time etc. Overall just a focus on sociability and establishing fleeting connections in the more friendship sense, so not necessarily in that extremely deep and immediately intimate sx sense. 

With that said, there are many different forms of intimacy but sx desires the very immediate and strongly and intensely felt version of it, that you are a part of another person even if just temporarily so. That's a locus of attention that you generally speaking don't see in non-sx doms and I'm not just talking about infatuation, but I'm talking about it as a general attitude towards relationships in general. 

In that sense sx does express intensity in that it seeks intense relationships and intense connection, but to say that sx itself is about fires and flames is a bit of a misleading perception, imo. Sx people are also normal people.


----------



## Elscar (Jul 23, 2016)

Doll said:


> @*Elscar*
> 
> To be honest, I didn't see much evidence of core 7 in your survey, so this isn't much of a surprise to me. You just have a different affect than what I have seen in type 7, although there are certainly depressed or heavy 7s... they all aren't lightness and air. The mistake people make is to type themselves when they're unhealthy, though. If this is your baseline, then I would feel confident that you are definitely more type 8 than type 7.
> 
> ...


Omg thank you so much! I'm also more confident now that I'm an 8 and not a 7 and I'm glad you can see that as well.
I strongly relate to type 8's point of integration to type 2 and its connection to type 5 also makes sense; it all fits.

I do wonder if I'm Sx-dom though or if I confused aspects of it with Lust hm.. How did you figure out your stacking (including the So)?


----------



## Elscar (Jul 23, 2016)

@Entropic



> With that said, I do want to point out that 7 isn't necessarily just about raindows and sunshine; positive outlook is more about reframing the negative into something that feels easier to handle e.g. that wasn't really as bad as I thought. 7w8 is particularly anti-establishment. If you're a movie goer, Harley Quinn and Deadpool are two very recent 7w8s appearing on the cinema screen, or the Joker in the Dark Knight series another one. One could furthermore argue that all of them are sx firsts, though there is an argument that Joker is more likely a social dom and Deadpool could possibly be one, but I think he's more likely sx/so.
> 
> All of these characters are also quite strongly driven by a sense of inner rage of injustice and can in various situations appear quite 8-like, especially the Joker and Deadpool. I would say none of them are particularly positive characters and have an inclination towards being inherently cynical. It's typically the 7w6 that's more positive and uplifting.


Yes, @Doll and I already established that. But regardless, 7s still strive to feel joyous and won't think that such positive feelings are too vulnerable to experience, right? Otherwise it goes against the core of what a 7 is.


----------



## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

The ability to be intense, and to project outwards, and to adjust your environment and to drive to control situations is 8, and specifically 8w7. 8w9 is a lot more laid back.

The DESIRE for the intensity, the DESIRE for the drama, and desire to FEEL ALIVE and INTENSE and NEW is Sx. 

An 8w7 Sp is capable of controlling and adjusting and causing shit to happen, but they do it more to acquire security, and rarely does excitement and intensity and upheaval lead to security.


An obvious comparison to me is Sx 4. They use their Sx, or the Sx uses them, to create beautiful art or songs or stories to create intense experiences for others. 

An Sx 1 or Sx 5 is going to a lot more internal, and introverted, but still there is the rich, powerful drive for intensity and newness.


----------



## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Elscar said:


> @Entropic
> 
> Yes, @Doll and I already established that. But regardless, 7s still strive to feel joyous and won't think that such positive feelings are too vulnerable to experience, right? Otherwise it goes against the core of what a 7 is.


Depends on what you mean by joyous here. Because I think seeing things in a positive or less negative light =! positivity or positivism in itself.


----------



## Elscar (Jul 23, 2016)

Entropic said:


> Depends on what you mean by joyous here. Because I think seeing things in a positive or less negative light =! positivity or positivism in itself.


What Maitri said here is what I meant:



> The Essential Aspect of the Yellow is the experience of joy, delight, appreciation, and simple happiness. It is a warmth in the heart, which might be ebullient and bubbly or calm and deep. Sevens want to feel this gentle happiness rather than their parched and dry inner emptiness.


So, what do you think? Would a 7 deny those feelings because it would feel too vulnerable?


----------



## Doll (Sep 6, 2012)

Elscar said:


> Omg thank you so much! I'm also more confident now that I'm an 8 and not a 7 and I'm glad you can see that as well.
> I strongly relate to type 8's point of integration to type 2 and its connection to type 5 also makes sense; it all fits.


That's the exact same feeling I got when I realized I was a core 4. 



> I do wonder if I'm Sx-dom though or if I confused aspects of it with Lust hm.. How did you figure out your stacking (including the So)?


I think with both 8s and 4s this can be particularly difficult, because both types have a different sort of intensity. Because (from what I saw), 4 is in your tritype, I think it will be even more challenging for you. 

My instinctual stacking started with knowing my blindspot. I know what needs work - for me - is sp. I am terrible at it. This doesn't mean I don't like it or am disinterested in it (... I kind of am), it just tends to fall off my radar. When I'm depressed, the first thing that goes are my basic needs: food, sleep, health, and even my career go down the drain. When I'm healthy, this is still my least-developed instinct, but I'm not so neglectful of it that it's dangerous to me. 

Being sexual first was an instant understanding for me. I identified with it for the wrong reasons, at least right away, because I am a very sexual person and that's what I thought it was all about. Having more understanding of it made me identify on a deeper level. If I were you, I would look at your blindspot first - people are always more aware of what they lack. I would also troll the type 8 forum and see how the different stackings relate to one another. Not everyone has the best viewpoint on what it means to be a certain stacking, but it'll definitely give you another piece of the puzzle. 

An interesting viewpoint that rings true for me is that a lot of people use their secondary function to achieve their primary function. For example, I throw myself into the social realm, my secondary instinct - collaborative writing, intense friendships, to feed my _primary_ instinct and desire for intense connection.


----------



## Doll (Sep 6, 2012)

drmiller100 said:


> An obvious comparison to me is Sx 4. They use their Sx, or the Sx uses them, to create beautiful art or songs or stories to create intense experiences for others.


Yes x ONE MILLION, although I use it more for myself <_<...


----------



## Elscar (Jul 23, 2016)

Doll said:


> That's the exact same feeling I got when I realized I was a core 4.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


To be fair, I did say in my type me thread that I can see type 7's connection points in myself and I'm not so sure that was entirely inaccurate. I need to ponder those things more just to be fully confident that I am more of an 8 than a 7.

I'll take your advice on the instincts and see if I can figure it all out


----------



## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

>>>_Can feel pulled between wanting a life of maximum intensity and reassuring episodes of peaceful convention.

Yeah. This.

>>>>_SX is a drug problem for another person. SX firsts have this. SX seconds understand this drug problem. SX lasts don't understand it.

And this. I get ALL wrapped into someone. Like off the deep end. 
And then one day, I'm done.


----------



## Animal (May 29, 2012)

karmachameleon said:


> I wouldn't phrase it like "it's something i find appealing". It's what I live for. The 'fiery passion' is sx... I do agree with the idea of being one with a person, but I can't do that without passion. Sometimes (or usually, unless they hold me back) it's like I subconsciously force the passion and excitement to happen between us, for better or for worse.
> When in a romantic relationship, the slight possible indicator that they're interest in me is fading gets me super stressed and worried and takes up all of my life and might end up destroying our relationship because they think I am crazy. It might even destroy the rest of my life. When I'm heartbroken or stressed about it I literally don't give a shit about school, work, duties, money. It's just SO irrelevant.
> I don't care if I have to sleep on the streets tonight, or for the rest of my life, because THIS is the only thing I need.
> 
> ...


My husband is Sp/Sx... and he mistyped at Sx/Sp for so long. He is super obsessive about women, thinks about his obsessions constantly. The difference between me and him in this area is that I can't fucking stop. If it's not absolutely IT for him, he won't chase after it. He might dream, he might obsess, but he simply can't bring himself to do anything if she's not..IT. If his past obsessions had jumped on him, he might have gone for it (we will never know)..but he couldn't bring himself to initiate.

With me, he made himself very available. He initiated contact with me here on perc, and then for a year, any time I would post he would post underneath me. I was occupied with some other obsession but I did notice him and keep my eye on him, and I also stalked his posts and got jealous when he would post somewhere that *wasn't* underneath my posts. He was shy and would do things like not thank my post, but then post underneath in a very passionate way to get my attention. I get really insecure about rejection so I didn't want to assume, but deep down I was onto him. ;D

Then I finally contacted him directly. After 3 days I pounced, made my interest known..though at first, he was the one that was more flirty because I was insecure and not totally sure he wanted me etc. We moved to Skype and he agreed to come see me - across the world. He had to get his passport etc but he got here within a month and a half. On the third day, he said "I love you" and I almost replied "Let's get married." Keep in mind I have turned down about 10 marriage proposals in the past ; I was in no hurry to marry but he is THE ONE and I knew it.

I didn't say it right at that moment, but within a day or two I informed him that he's staying in the USA and marrying me. He said "Normally a woman talking about marriage this soon would scare me but I'm not scared..."

Then within a few days he was on board, and within a week or two he was all "Do you still want to? Are you sure??" making sure I didn't change my mind. We got married half a year later. He had to leave his whole life behind to do it, and his family is fine, there was no major issue, but he says there was no choice, he just _had_ to be with me.


He is still more Sp-ish though. He can disappear into himself when there's a problem and I immediately break the walls down. I simply refuse to give him time to think..and sometimes he has to tell me to back off.


----------



## inabox (Oct 3, 2015)

@Animal, dude, it's great to see Marilyn being typed as an so/sp; and your insight was very, very accurate  . He is a very contraflow guy but I think it's lovely that he and Trent (sx/sp) reconciled after their problems


----------



## inabox (Oct 3, 2015)

@karmachameleon , your thoughts are on point.


----------

