# Incredibly small penises



## Ventricity (Mar 30, 2009)

something i think is extremely hysterical is to think about if these super macho men had really small penises. i mean, if they had, they would be a joke. think about bill o'reilly with a micro penis! he would have absolutely nothing to say if that came out, nothing! what if it got out that george clooney had a really small one? it would be hillarious, it would change the madly in love women's view of him in an instant. 
maybe if i had a really small penis this wouldn't be that funny to me. but if a guy i knew had a small penis started talking trash, i (would) just say "whatever" ("who does he think he is, he's got a small penis, i don't have to listen to this crap from a guy with such a small penis"). this might seem as an error of logic, because what does penis size got to do with his words? the worse thing is that i'm actually serious. it's such a taboo aeria, no one says anything about it in other than a humorous sense, maybe because we cannot do much about it. 
why are we (our society) so incredibly obsessed with penis size?
i remember a scene in futurama where Fry is in some bathhouse with the two other women and they ask him if he didn't know that penis enlargement is something every man does now (in the future).
most women would agree that the best size would be slightly above average in current standards. but this isn't about the real world. popular culture has created a monster! a hysterically funny phenomenon. think about if everyone went about with these incredibly large, thick penises. i mean, they would be totally useless for anything but portray arrogance (and not even that really). maybe they could attach all this bling to them, like gold chains and stuff.

so my questions are these: do you agree that popular culture have created a monster? and what is the funnies example of a celebrity with a small penis?


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## NotSoRighteousRob (Jan 1, 2010)

first I be like











then I be like










now I am like












i don't even know.... ummmmm I just really wanna say the word penis.. ok now that thats out of the way..



yea... society is rather twisted.. I don't much like the way it has developed. I try to avoid such areas of entertainment but you can not help it after all, who has not heard of the penis pump or the viagra....


either way.... just er.. umm... penis..
penis..


ummm yea so society sucks... sucks a fat penis ... ummm nvmd I don't think I be sane any longer


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## Solace (Jan 12, 2010)

This is the Hounen Matsuri - or fertility festival - in Japan.



> _*Hōnen Matsuri*_ (豊年祭?) (Japanese for "Harvest Festival") is a fertility festival celebrated every year on March 15 in Japan. _Hōnen_ means _rich harvest_ in Japanese, while a _matsuri_ is a festival. The Hōnen festival and ceremony celebrate the blessings of a bountiful harvest and all manner of prosperity and fertility.
> 
> 
> The best known of these festivals takes place in the town of Komaki, just north of Nagoya City. The festival's main features are Shinto priests playing musical instruments, a parade of ceremonially garbed participants, all-you-can-drink sake, and a 280 kg (620 pound), 2.5 meter (96 inch)-long wooden phallus. The wooden phallus is carried from a shrine called Shinmei Sha (in even-numbered years) on a large hill or from Kumano-sha Shrine (in odd-numbered years), to a shrine called Tagata Jinja.
> ...



Phallic symbols have been honored for fertility and general power for thousands of years, going back to Ancient Greece, Egypt, and even the Neolithic.


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## The Psychonaut (Oct 29, 2009)

penis penis penis

vagina vagina vagina


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## Ventricity (Mar 30, 2009)

i must travel to that festival! that's the best thing i've seen in a long while

a funny thing: if some of you have seen the movie superbad there is a scene where jonah hill admits that he used to be obsessed with penises as a child, that he used to draw penises all the time. i used to do that in fact, mostly to annoy my friend. i would steal his papers and draw alot of penises on them in class, then i would lure them back on his desk in the hope that the teacher would see the penises and think that he drew them. i loved doing that, he got so mad at me and would frantically erase them as i drew them


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## lilgabiee (Jan 26, 2010)

That's a good tip not to feel intimidated when meeting new guys~~.


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## DarklyValentine (Mar 4, 2010)

Wicked tooters in , followed by an odd dragging sound..._oucheee
_
That aside to get to a median there requires all of a scale - or numbers if you like.

In a world dominated by appearance, in many forms, = utopia. In most peoples minds. Which is why i would wipe and reprogram that lot as they are oft beyond help in the reality they occupy

Totters of to fashion a brain washing device of sense, much sense, as opposed to little sense


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## krwheel (Dec 5, 2008)

I love Joseph Campbell's analysis of myth in "The Hero With a Thousand Faces." He points out the archetypal struggle between son and father in myth:

"It is the ordeal that the hero may derive hope and assurance from the helpful female figure, by whose magic (pollen charms or power of intercession) he is protected through all the frightening experiences of the father's ego-shattering initiation. For if is is impossible to trust the terrifying father-face, then one's faith must be centered elsewhere (the Blessed Mother); and with that reliance for support, one endures the crisis--only to find, in the end, that the father and mother reflect each other, and are in essence the same."

He continues later:

The need for great care on the part of the father, admitting to his house only those who have been thoroughly tested, is illustrated by the unhappy exploit of the lad Phaethon, described in a famous tale of the Greeks..."

And we know that Phaethon gets burned trying to guide the chariot of his sun-god father.

Culturally, for ages men have felt that they have to prove their manhood against the competing male in their life (typically a father figure in myth). In the end they are always seeking to prove it to the female figure that they are inevitably competing against as well (which I'll address shortly). Phaethon tried to prove his proverbially big penis when it was actually unnecessary. His father loved him and would've given him anything, but he just wanted to show that his goods were just a great as dear old dad's. For some reason, men have to prove that they are men, despite studies showing that most men, when erect, are pretty much the same size.

Now here's the ironic thing. All this big dick talk doesn't translate into anything in the sack. This is where we are actually competing against women too (or more appropriately, failing them). Because penis size has little, if anything to do with the female's orgasm. So men talk about their big penis and their women talk about it when their rockin' the boat, "Oh, you're so big! OMG! Yes!" She's faking it!!! Your penis size didn't do anything for her. At best they may like the little extra stretch it gives the vaginal wall, but big and small doesn't change your ability to stimulate the clitoris. Men are fooling themselves (and women help with their fake orgasms and big dick talk). You can have the smallest penis in the world, but if you know how to give her oral, she'll be happy (if she has half a brain to realize how smart you are for going down on her). Over 90% of female orgasms come from oral stimulation! That's no joke!

So yes, culture has created a monster. If men had a brain they'd be more worried about how agile their tongue is then about the size of their penis.

And I think it would be awesome if Martha Stewart had a little penis.


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

wannaBgonzo said:


> penis penis penis
> 
> vagina vagina vagina


badger badger badger?


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## AEIOU (Feb 5, 2010)

krwheel said:


> So yes, culture has created a monster. If men had a brain they'd be more worried about how agile their tongue is then about the size of their penis..


God gave man a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to operate one at a time!


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## Collossus (Dec 14, 2009)

After today's rules, girls only like you if you have either the biggest or the... smallest one in the world.


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## Ventricity (Mar 30, 2009)

Collossus said:


> After today's rules, girls only like you if you have either the biggest or the... smallest one in the world.


 if you have the smallest you are probably a girl and thus disqualified.


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## Who (Jan 2, 2010)

lilgabiee said:


> That's a good tip.


 I don't know if this is a double entendre/stealth pun or just a coincidence. I'm really hoping it's the former.


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## openedskittles (May 24, 2009)

RighteousRob said:


> now I am like


It looks like the size of the penis didn't stop you from letting him do something all over your face.....
:laughing:


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## openedskittles (May 24, 2009)

AEIOU said:


> God gave man a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to operate one at a time!


.....unless one of them happens to be really small, then he might be okay.:laughing:


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## la musa candido (Feb 19, 2010)

yes, i think it's turned into the new "stick-figure girl is hot" trend. people should just be happy with what they've got and who are women to complain? if they're complaining, they're probably loose anyway so they should stfu.

i think the funniest celebrity with a small penis would be arnold schwarzanigger(or however u spell it).:crazy:


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## Slider (Nov 17, 2009)

I hate those ExtenZe commercials...

(I thought this was funny)


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## Ventricity (Mar 30, 2009)

openedskittles said:


> It looks like the size of the penis didn't stop you from letting him do something all over your face.....
> :laughing:


that's nasty, and it only happens in the movies


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## Moon Pix (Sep 19, 2009)

The best would be if John Wayne had had a small penis.


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## AEIOU (Feb 5, 2010)

Some are too big, some are too small, the darn things just don't fit!


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## AEIOU (Feb 5, 2010)

*What is the average size anyway?*

And what if you are average?
What I'd really like to know is what is average?
I've seen different surveys/results and there does not seem to be any unanimous consensus. Apparently it's either 5.9 inches or 6.4 inches. But there are other numbers too. Anyway I measure at 10 percent over average using the second number.


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## AEIOU (Feb 5, 2010)

Ventricity said:


> that's nasty, and it only happens in the movies


Have you ever listened to Dr. Drew (Pinsky) on the radio program "Love Line?"


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## Sissy (Apr 1, 2010)

AEIOU said:


> Some are too big, some are too small, the darn things just don't fit!


LOL

It's like the story of the Three Bears. Gotta find ones where you say "This one is just right!"


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## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

Data from dildo manufacturers show that most women prefer dildos 6.9 inches in length and 3.2 inches in girth. What this trend shows is that most men are woefully inadequate to fully satisfy most modern women. I believe an interesting trend in sexology (it's a real field of study!) will be bionic penis augmentations.


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## Ventricity (Mar 30, 2009)

stop derailing the thread. this is not about actual penis size, or what is the average,that's not interesting. i've allready stated that mostpeople prefer a little above average size, and that's the societal fact that men derive their true power from. 
good one by john wayne, i was gonna say charlton heston but john wayne is the best yet


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## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

OK, I'll stop being on topic which in this thread is actually derailing.


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## brittneyblr (Mar 31, 2010)

I totally think that society has created a monster cause anything more than a little above average (like the huge and scary things you see in porn) and I'm gonna tell you your gonna have to take that some where else. While the perfect fit is exactly that perfect. Sorry i can think of anyone clever to say for the celeb with the smallest penis.


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## AEIOU (Feb 5, 2010)

MisterNi said:


> Data from dildo manufacturers show that most women prefer dildos 6.9 inches in length and 3.2 inches in girth. What this trend shows is that most men are woefully inadequate to fully satisfy most modern women. I believe an interesting trend in sexology (it's a real field of study!) will be bionic penis augmentations.


The average size is declining. Because men are getting fatter. According to Dr. Oz if a man loses 40 lbs. of fat he'll gain an inch in length. Another good reason to maintain healthy body weight.


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## Drake (Oct 31, 2009)

AEIOU said:


> The average size is declining. Because men are getting fatter. According to Dr. Oz if a man loses 40 lbs. of fat he'll gain an inch in length. Another good reason to maintain healthy body weight.


Sweet, I can be the next John Holmes!! All I need to do never eat again mwa ha ha


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## angularvelocity (Jun 15, 2009)

AEIOU said:


> The average size is declining. Because men are getting fatter. According to Dr. Oz if a man loses 40 lbs. of fat he'll gain an inch in length. Another good reason to maintain healthy body weight.


Cool, I'll drop my BMI to anorexic level for an inch!!!! :laughing:

On a serious note - I've heard something similar to that.. like fat hides some dick length. Makes sense.


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