# How can an ENTp behave more like an ESTj?



## BrennanWayne (Apr 15, 2013)

My girlfriend is INFj and I want to behave more like her dual


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## Word Dispenser (May 18, 2012)

That sounds unhealthy. Abandon those plans, and work on your relationship. Don't take Socionics so seriously.

That's my advice.


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## Kintsugi (May 17, 2011)

Word Dispenser said:


> That sounds unhealthy. Abandon those plans, and work on your relationship. Don't take Socionics so seriously.
> 
> That's my advice.


This.


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## Schweeeeks (Feb 12, 2013)

I feel your pain. 
I agree with the posters above, but only to a certain extent. All relationships require compromise. You're trying to see how you can compromise better with her, right?

I'd take your Creative and HA functions elsewhere. Develop those more with friends and keep discussion in that area with her to a minimum. You can connect over your Base and your Demonstrative just fine.
Taking out your Creative and HA functions will look kind of like....try not to directly modify the atmosphere around her. Don't try to "cheer up" whatever is going on. She is more likely to see your attempt as "puerile gesture."

I'd also take excessive theorizing elsewhere too. She appreciates Ne (the idea, its potential), but she is partial to Te information over Ti. Instead of analyzing each part of the new idea and tracing it to see how it plays out, focus on its real world impact. How can this "potential" be executed? Your 4D Te will find it easy to do. Unfortunately you naturally think that's boring compared to the former, but for her? It's incredible. Moving art. 
Perhaps this would help too? Description of Te vs Ti from a Te ego perspective.


Zamyatin said:


> Te is more checking the conformity of a theorem/hypotheses with facts than deducing what should follow from facts. In a nutshell, Ti is about internal consistencyIt's pretty obvious when you're talking to a Ti ego type, because when they discuss a topic, they love to analyze each little part of the subject. Seeing where it all goes without actually checking to see if their conclusions line up with observations, which can lead to some rather absurd conclusions if they don't check themselves
> [NOTE: I edited his response a bit to make it more "forum style". This is from an IM conversation, so might be a little choppy]



You can both connect over Si too. Her Si is higher dimensionality than yours, so it might be better to allow her to take the lead on that. You won't be able to "better improve" her Si needs, but you can have fun trying to figure it out together. Find new foods to try, new sensations you can feel (ex: spa treatment type stuff, maybe different textures around your place like soft blankets or maybe blankets made from an unusual material). "Sensuality" is the key word. If you look up ideas online, I'm sure you will find plenty.
Deltas tend to prefer simplicity (at least IMO), so I wouldn't bother with some of the more "theatrical" sensual elements. Examples would be roses all over the bed, bunch of candles, etc:. One candle is enough to change things up and create different lighting.

That being said, please be careful. Relationships involve compromise and effort from both parties. Based on your previous threads, it seems like she's not doing her part to accommodate you. Becoming an "ESTj" won't solve that. In the short term, things may feel better, but eventually you feel drained and resentful. She should respect and love you for you, not just what feels good to her.

http://personalitycafe.com/socionics-forum/300378-how-people-respond-supervision-relationships.html A lot of this mainly addresses how Supervisors can better interact with their Supervisees, but still worth reading.
http://personalitycafe.com/socionic...supervision-relationships-5.html#post12228138 Function breakdown of Supervision. Skip to the Supervisee section for the most benefits.


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## BrennanWayne (Apr 15, 2013)

Schweeeeks said:


> I feel your pain.
> I agree with the posters above, but only to a certain extent. All relationships require compromise. You're trying to see how you can compromise better with her, right?
> 
> I'd take your Creative and HA functions elsewhere. Develop those more with friends and keep discussion in that area with her to a minimum. You can connect over your Base and your Demonstrative just fine.
> ...


That was amazingly insightful. Thanks so much!


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## Cesspool (Aug 8, 2014)

Kintsugi said:


> This.


Your avatar scares me


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