# Blocking someone on facebook



## paintingSkies (Nov 25, 2010)

I blocked a friend of mine on facebook...without telling him or anything...basically I did that cause I wanted the relationship to end completely. Basically this guys has been interested at me and won't stop acting like we're more than friends....always messaging and calling me....I tried blocking his calls, then he messages me upset why I don't pick up the phone. 

I already told before that I wasn't interested,,, i did flirt with him in the beginnng... but I was crystal clear that I was only just having fun and joking with him.. Thing is I promised him we'll be friends forever (bad move i know) - this was before when we were still close. ANyway for some reason he just want to bare all his problems and details of life with me all the time. To be honest, I have enough problems on my own to deal with...even though I am a friend, I can't be there for him 100% of the time. Plus there is a fine line between being a friend and a boyfriend.

So I blocked him on facebook out of the blue. Does this make me a bad person? Should I be feeling guilty or not? Did I do the right thing?

Thanks in advance for your advice.


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## OxidativeCleavage (Dec 27, 2010)

Absolutely not! You told this guy multiple times that you didn't want to be in a romantic relationship. He didn't think enough of you as a person to respect you and take your feelings seriously. You promised that you wanted to remain friends forever - but you did so under the impression that he was going to respect your boundaries and take you seriously... 

He then broke the contract by crossing lines that you already told him not to cross - it sounds like he has done that multiple times - and that he is forcing a romantic relationship on you with his actions to the extent that he felt you could not defend against it because he thought that you would remain his friend forever. He tried to force you in to being his girlfriend with his actions and you stood up for yourself... 

Good for you! This guy sounds like a stalker - having to block someone from calling your phone is pretty serious sign they are annoying you (most *normal* people have a error message that pops up in their head and says "Oh WTF, they've stopped answering my phone calls I must have crossed a line so I will back off now") - some will ask what they did and then apologize for it (while also actively adjusting the offending behavior and dropping off the map) and others will just drop off the map - either way they respond appropriately they don't fein ignorance and try to force you to continue to communicate with them...


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## Colorblind (Jan 6, 2011)

I have to agree completely with OxidativeCleavage, you did what you needed to get him to stop.
Just out of curiosity what kind of kid is he? I noticed that you are part of Generation Y so I'm assuming you're in high school. Is he a popular boy? Does he have a lot of friends?
If he is lacking in the friends field there might be chance that hes holding on to you from desperation. I'm not telling you to regret what you did because I think you did the right thing, its just always good to look at both sides of the situation 
If he doesn't stop I think you need to do something about it. Something similar happened when my sister was in middle school, the kid ended up moving schools.


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## Digger Blue (Dec 1, 2010)

Most everything I was going to say was covered by Oxidative Cleavage or Colorblind. Well put. You are being stalked. I suggest you make a list of things he has done in violation of your desires to be free from him, and take the list to the school counselor. If that does not work, go back to the school counselor and insist that he is causing problems for you. If you are in college, you can take it to the counselor's office, and if you don't get adequate help, return to the counselor's office. If it continues, send an e-mail to the Dean stating that the problem is interfering with your academics. That is a worst case scenario, but it will guarantee that the counselor will help you one way or another. This help may be in the form of rules you should follow in dealing with Mr. Stalker. 
Good Luck,
Digger Blue


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## firedell (Aug 5, 2009)

I agree with what you did, don't feel bad.


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## Socrates (Feb 1, 2010)

I was blocked by a friend of mine on facebook... without telling me or anything... basically, she did that cause she wanted the relationship to end completely. Basically I've been interested in her and just want her to see I care.... I message and call her... and she blocked my calls, then when I message her asking why, she tells me to "fuck off."

I told me she wasn't interested, I did flirt with her... but I was feeling a connection... thing is, she promised me we'd be friends forever (women lie, I know) – this was before when we were still close. Anyway, I just needed someone to listen to my problems and details of life sometimes. To be honest, I know she has problems of her own to deal with... even though I am just a friend, I can be there for her 100% of the time, why won't she listen to me in return? Plus, what would make me a bad boyfriend?

So she blocked me on facebook out of the blue. Does this make me a bad person? Should I be feeling bad or not? Should I just start drinking so no one has to listen to my problems?
Thanks in advance for your advice.


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## jdmn (Feb 5, 2010)

You did well in blocking him. If he keeps on pestering you, be as firm as tough to tell him you're not romantically interested,. If it becomes too disturbing or even dangerous (stalking or that stuff, I don't know him so I can't tell if may end up doing that), call the police or a close family member. You can give him another chance to be friends.. but make him clear of your limits. 

Socrates, that doesn't make you a bad person at all. Don't feel bad or drink after all. She should have been more direct and clear in her intention not to be friends with you (just saying "fuck off" is not the answer). Do not feel pressured to win her friendship back, she may need time alone after she can return to interact with you. Do not be quite impatient to see if she'll decide to be your friend again, as it is possible that it may not happen in a long time or never at all, and that brings much more emotional pain. Find someone else or see if one of your friends has the potential to listen and wisely help you in your personal problems, even though it's not that easy ad quick, it's possible.


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## Digger Blue (Dec 1, 2010)

Dear Socrates,
When a woman tells you to fuck off, she needs a break from you. Give it to her. It might mean there is a clash in your MBTI profiles, or it might mean she is angry. Try her again after a couple of months. 
Going off and drinking your problems away just adds alcohol to the problems. It has ruined many a man. There are places here in the cafe where you can discuss your problems, but to drone on and on about them will not win you the kind of friends that you really want to have. 
Focus on your life, flirt with another woman, but when someone tries to get rid of you from facebook, blocking your calls, etc., let them go. 
Digger Blue:mellow:


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## Socrates (Feb 1, 2010)

> I blocked a friend of mine on facebook...without telling him or anything...basically I did that cause I wanted the relationship to end completely. Basically this guys has been interested at me and won't stop acting like we're more than friends....always messaging and calling me....I tried blocking his calls, then he messages me upset why I don't pick up the phone.
> 
> I already told before that I wasn't interested,,, i did flirt with him in the beginnng... but I was crystal clear that I was only just having fun and joking with him.. Thing is I promised him we'll be friends forever (bad move i know) - this was before when we were still close. ANyway for some reason he just want to bare all his problems and details of life with me all the time. To be honest, I have enough problems on my own to deal with...even though I am a friend, I can't be there for him 100% of the time. Plus there is a fine line between being a friend and a boyfriend.
> 
> ...





> I was blocked by a friend of mine on facebook... without telling me or anything... basically, she did that cause she wanted the relationship to end completely. Basically I've been interested in her and just want her to see I care.... I message and call her... and she blocked my calls, then when I message her asking why, she tells me to "fuck off."
> 
> I told me she wasn't interested, I did flirt with her... but I was feeling a connection... thing is, she promised me we'd be friends forever (women lie, I know) – this was before when we were still close. Anyway, I just needed someone to listen to my problems and details of life sometimes. To be honest, I know she has problems of her own to deal with... even though I am just a friend, I can be there for her 100% of the time, why won't she listen to me in return? Plus, what would make me a bad boyfriend?
> 
> ...


Just sayin'. :mellow:


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## OxidativeCleavage (Dec 27, 2010)

Socrates said:


> Just sayin'. :mellow:


I think the difference is that a person - at any time - and for any reason - has the right to decide that they no longer want to continue a relationship with someone - and I think it is reasonable to expect the other person to respect your wishes and not harass you... 

People have a right to be assholes and cunts if they want to... (not saying that the OP was because we don't know the full details of her situation)... 

In your example that guy - should actually leave the girl alone.. it doesn't matter if he's felt a connection to her or not - if she isn't feeling it anymore then she should be permitted to walk away from him without fear of being harassed.... That doesn't make the guy a bad person or the girl a nice person.. 

respecting the autonomy of individuals and the "worth"/"niceness" - whatever - of said individuals are mutually exclusive...


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## Socrates (Feb 1, 2010)

I don't trust xSFJs. He's probably a nice guy and she'd just rather date the retarded buff jock. :bored:

/experience speaks, wisdom listens (experienced, lacking wisdom)


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## OxidativeCleavage (Dec 27, 2010)

^
It must be nice to have psychic powers...


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## Digger Blue (Dec 1, 2010)

If you ask people what they want in a mate, you do get interesting answers. If, however, you have been dating a person, and they decide to break up with you, then you get to some of the truth, and it is not always pretty. It may not be the whole truth, and whether it is or isn't, it is good to listen. At any rate, Break up is Broke, and it is time to move on. If both want to try another run at it, it must be okay with both parties. :mellow:


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## Socrates (Feb 1, 2010)

OxidativeCleavage said:


> ^
> It must be nice to have psychic powers...


Yeah it's pretty chill.



Digger Blue said:


> If you ask people what they want in a mate, you do get interesting answers. If, however, you have been dating a person, and they decide to break up with you, then you get to some of the truth, and it is not always pretty. It may not be the whole truth, and whether it is or isn't, it is good to listen. At any rate, Break up is Broke, and it is time to move on. If both want to try another run at it, it must be okay with both parties. :mellow:


Who's talking about dating? :mellow:


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## rb1310 (Jan 18, 2011)

Currently at the receiving end of a block  Worst feeling ever, and it's all my fault :/


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## Socrates (Feb 1, 2010)

Being blocked by someone you love / loved is the worst feeling ever. 

/wishes emotions would die. :dry:


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## rb1310 (Jan 18, 2011)

Haha no emotions...would be strange.


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## lirulin (Apr 16, 2010)

Much as the person you blocked will love to play the victim about it and probably want to think of you as a heartless bitch, if he was refusing to respect you then it was necessary to take some step to stop him harassing you. One of those 'give an inch and they take a mile' types. Extremely selfish. It sounds like, after all, that you did actually try to communicate your boundaries before you did this, and with that being the case he has no valid reason to be surprised. I'm sure he was anyway. Things like this can feel a little sudden and mean, but if you were pushed to your final straw by his actions and his refusal to alter them... With someone like this often it tends to be necessary to lose contact. Maybe there are other ways, and maybe you could have worked harder to communicate the basic concept of respect for a person's time and space (which he should already have known), but so long as you actually said there was an issue, and he continued regardless, then you are in the clear.


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## Socrates (Feb 1, 2010)

rb1310 said:


> Haha no emotions...would be strange.


Fantastic, you mean.


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## Digger Blue (Dec 1, 2010)

*Dating*



Socrates said:


> Yeah it's pretty chill.
> 
> 
> Who's talking about dating? :mellow:


You were at 11:56 p.m. 
Digger B
:mellow:


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