# Enneagram Type Negative Traits



## Quang (Sep 4, 2014)

As I've understood, it appears that each Enneagram type has certain negative behaviors that are acted upon when stressed, however numerous enneagram authors suggests that how we behave negatively towards others is actually milder compared to how we behave towards ourselves. I am not sure about 2s and 5s, any suggestions?

*1. Self-criticism*. When stressed, 1s can *criticize* and judge others, but actually criticize themselves more harshly as a result of having high internal standards and strong super ego.
2. Self-sacrifice? Perhaps 2s *make others feel important/proud* through friendly compliments. They are subconsciously even prouder of being a selfless, helpful, well-intentioned person which contributes to the tendency to guilt-trip. 
*3. Self-deception.* When stressed, 3s can skillfully *deceive* others, but their greatest deception is the one they tell to themselves: that they are what they do/their external image.
*4. Self-hatred.* When stressed, 4s can be emotionally intense individuals who *hate* and make others feel inadequate, but it is them who they hate the most/ feels most inadequate.
5. Self-isolation? Perhaps 5s (like 1s) criticize others for their of intellectual emptiness/ignorance, when it is them who feel fundamentally intellectually and physically empty (5's scarcity mindset).
*6. Self-doubt.* When stressed, 6s can incessantly question and *doubt* others, but in reality, they are the ones who doubt themselves the most. 6's self-doubt attributes to their unconscious self-sabotage and the fear of success.
*7. Self-distraction.* When stressed, 7s reframe their reality so that it is positive and uplifting like 3s. They may distract or deceive others, but it is them who distract or deceive themselves the most from painful truths.
*8. Self-blame.* When stressed, 8s can be angry and *blame* others, but in reality they are most fundamentally angry and blame themselves for their weakness, therefore they project their anger to compensate.
*9. Self-narcotization/neglect.* When stressed, 9s can be unresponsive, neglectful, and apathetic of others, but in reality they neglect themselves the most.


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Quang said:


> 2. Self-sacrifice?


Flattery.


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

Entropic said:


> Flattery.


o.o what do you mean? >.> hmm yeah, they want to be appreciated, don't they? Pretty twisted and annoying way of going about it.

Self sacrifice is pretty much a negative trait in anyone. >.> I'd consider it idiotic to boot. Can't see it in a positive light. Why would anyone in their right mind be happy when someone else is sacrificing themselves for them?

- Look I cut myself for you! 8D

- <.<...OMG.. stay away from me *backs away 

Then the guild trips are the worst....



Quang said:


> *6. Self-doubt.* 6s question and doubt others as a result of doubting themselves so much. This belief unconsciously attributes to their self-sabotage and the fear of success.


:/ so true! >.> self doubt is the enemy!


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

FreeBeer said:


> o.o what do you mean?
> 
> Self sacrifice is pretty much a negative trait in anyone. >.> idk I'd consider it an idiotic trait tbh.


Self-sacrifice is done as a form of self-flatter i.e. look at how much I give to you and I ask nothing in return, look at how selfless and loving I am. It serves as a patting on the back for type 2.


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## charlie.elliot (Jan 22, 2014)

Quang said:


> *9. Self-narcotization/neglect.* 9s are often forgetful or neglectful of others as a result of their easy-going nature, in reality, they neglect themselves the most.


Well clearly, and for me in particular, I'm extremely attentive and conscientious towards _other_ people, it's just myself that I've been prone to neglect. So.... I mean, your Enneatype has to do mainly with yourself, not with other people, so your fixation will always be centered on yourself. The way you interact with others is determined by many other factors. 

For some types, what you say is applicable - "Ones criticize others, but criticize themselves more", yes "Threes deceive others, but deceive themselves more" yes, but for others, what you say isn't applicable to the type in my opinion.
"Fours hate others" - not really relevant to type four.
"Sevens distract others"- not relevant.

I think you're onto something- but I would frame it a bit differently - I would say that we seek in others what we lack in ourselves. 

Ones- criticize others because they keep criticizing themselves.
Twos- show love to others because they lack love towards themselves.
Threes- present a great image because they lack a feeling of having a great self.
Fours- present a unique image because they feel too ordinary.
Fives- gather things around themselves and hoard things, because they feel too weak without it.
Sixes - look for guidance and faith externally, because they lack faith in themselves.
Sevens- look for cool stuff to fill them up because they feel empty of goodness on the inside.
Eights- create control and protection on the outside because they feel a lack of protection on the inside.
Nines- create harmony and wholeness on the outside because they lack a feeling a wholeness in themselves.


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

Entropic said:


> Self-sacrifice is done as a form of self-flatter i.e. look at how much I give to you and I ask nothing in return, look at how selfless and loving I am. It serves as a patting on the back for type 2.


Yeah, that is really annoying, especially when it turns into a major indirect guilt trip...

I really need to learn to finalize posts and not edit PPP


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## enneathusiast (Dec 15, 2012)

Here are some suggestions for the two with question marks.

2. Self-importance - feeling indispensable, people can't live without me, seduction, histrionics, pride, etc.
5. Self-detachment - observing from a distance, analyzing the inner as well as outer world, processing personal experiences after they've occurred not while they're happening, objectivity vs. subjectivity, minimizing needs, etc.


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

@Quang Here are the diagrams from Maitri's Spiritual Dimension, that also touch on what you mentioned:

*The Enneagram of Traps*









*The Enneagram of Avoidances*









*The Enneagram of Antiself Actions*









*The Enneagram of Lies*


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## Quang (Sep 4, 2014)

enneathusiast said:


> Here are some suggestions for the two with question marks.
> 
> 2. Self-importance - feeling indispensable, people can't live without me, seduction, histrionics, pride, etc.
> 5. Self-detachment - observing from a distance, analyzing the inner as well as outer world, processing personal experiences after they've occurred not while they're happening, objectivity vs. subjectivity, minimizing needs, etc.


Hmmm self-importance sounds fitting: 2s make others feel important/proud through friendly compliments, because they are subconsciously even prouder of being a selfless, helpful, well-intentioned person, which contributes to the tendency to guilt-trip. 

How can detachment be used as a negative behavior towards others? Perhaps 5s (like 1s) criticize others for their of intellectual emptiness, when it is them who feel fundamentally intellectually and physically empty (5's scarcity mindset).


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## Ixim (Jun 19, 2013)

Quang said:


> As I've understood, it appears that each Enneagram type has certain negative behaviors that are acted upon when stressed, however numerous enneagram authors suggests that how we behave negatively towards others is actually milder compared to how we act upon ourselves. I am not sure about 2s and 5s, any suggestions?
> 
> *1. Self-criticism*. When stressed, 1s *criticize* and judge others, but actually criticize and judge themselves more harsher as a result of having high internal standards and strong super ego.
> 2. Self-sacrifice? Perhaps 2s *make others feel important/proud* through friendly compliments, because they are subconsciously even prouder of being a selfless, helpful, well-intentioned person, which contributes to the tendency to guilt-trip.
> ...


But but! Both self blame and self doubt are my big enemies! What now?


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## aurly (Jun 15, 2014)

Quang said:


> Hmmm self-importance sounds fitting: 2s make others feel important/proud through friendly compliments, because they are subconsciously even prouder of being a selfless, helpful, well-intentioned person, which contributes to the tendency to guilt-trip.
> 
> How can detachment be used as a negative behavior towards others? Perhaps 5s (like 1s) criticize others for their of intellectual emptiness, when it is them who feel fundamentally intellectually and physically empty (5's scarcity mindset).


You'll understand when they detach from personal hygiene. Eww.


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## enneathusiast (Dec 15, 2012)

Quang said:


> How can detachment be used as a negative behavior towards others? Perhaps 5s (like 1s) criticize others for their of intellectual emptiness, when it is them who feel fundamentally intellectually and physically empty (5's scarcity mindset).


I'd see it more as the detached non-participating observer, intellectualizing rather than emotionally connecting/empathizing, can be perceived as aloof, cold, arrogant, etc. when emotional expression, time, space, resources, etc. are withheld. If non-attachment is about moving easily between detachment and attachment, type 5 has difficulty with the attachment side and can get stuck in detachment (non-participation in the world).


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## Quang (Sep 4, 2014)

Ixim said:


> But but! Both self blame and self doubt are my big enemies! What now?


Kill first (8), ask questions later (6).


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## Ixim (Jun 19, 2013)

Quang said:


> Kill first (8), ask questions later (6).


Sounds like my behaviour.

Do something, regret it later. Ah ok


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## Quernus (Dec 8, 2011)

Quang said:


> As I've understood, it appears that each Enneagram type has certain negative behaviors that are acted upon when stressed, however numerous enneagram authors suggests that how we behave negatively towards others is actually milder compared to how we act upon ourselves. I am not sure about 2s and 5s, any suggestions?
> 
> *1. Self-criticism*. When stressed, 1s *criticize* and judge others, but actually criticize and judge themselves more harsher as a result of having high internal standards and strong super ego.
> 2. Self-sacrifice? Perhaps 2s *make others feel important/proud* through friendly compliments, because they are subconsciously even prouder of being a selfless, helpful, well-intentioned person, which contributes to the tendency to guilt-trip.
> ...



The twos I know become very guilting when stressed, making others feel "not enough". They become martyristic as well. But really it's that they feel they are not enough. 

When others fail to resort to the same people-pleasing tactics that the two uses, they take it as proof they have failed to convince people of their worth. They think all they have going for them is some sort of service to others, which they feel very self-important about, as they need to be needed. they are offended when their "gifts" are not accepted or appreciated. Or reciprocated (which would be a sign that the other person needs them as much as they need the other person). If what they are is what they have to give, then rejection of their gifts means rejection of their worth. 


five -- they reject anything that doesn't fit their intellectualized, rationalized view of the world and what's important. They might make others feel unneeded, because they are afraid to need. They withdraw and isolate. As a result they miss out on a lot of warmth. They also close out whatever might force them to expand their horizon beyond what they deem interesting and important, or threaten what subjective things they find interesting or important -- digging their tunnels deeper and deeper, getting further and further from the sun. Very self limiting.


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## o0india0o (Mar 17, 2015)

I think, for Type 2 - - it is again deception (a deception about their motivations). 
They tell others what they do is out of love (though, when unhealthy, many times others can see through this lie).
But at their unhealthiest, the only people they are fooling, is themselves (they really do convince themselves that some of the manipulative, craziness they impose on others, is out of love and goodness).
They also tend to convince themselves (when unhealthy) that they are entitled to things because of this "goodness" they believe they embody.


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## o0india0o (Mar 17, 2015)

For Type 5's (a little harder for me to figure out), but I would say a lack of self-care (somewhat similar to a Type 9, but in much different ways - - it's only recently, that I've noticed there are actually a lot of parallels between Type 9 and Type 5, in many ways). 
As Type 5's detach (and feel incapable of meeting the demands of the world), they leave needs unmet of those they love (they don't "step up to the plate" so-to-speak, in areas of their lives' where they should/need to). 
But, (similar to the Type 9), the person they neglect the most, is themselves. Their self-care goes out the window, as they slowly become disembodied minds.
Imo they almost seem to become robotic, and view themselves in almost a robotic (as oppose to human) sort of way. Robots don't need showers … humans do. (lol)
Robots don't have emotional needs … humans do.

Just a thought.


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## o0india0o (Mar 17, 2015)

charlie.elliot said:


> Well clearly, and for me in particular, I'm extremely attentive and conscientious towards _other_ people, it's just myself that I've been prone to neglect. So.... I mean, your Enneatype has to do mainly with yourself, not with other people, so your fixation will always be centered on yourself. The way you interact with others is determined by many other factors.


I disagree with this. I have experienced first-hand how a Type 9's neglectfulness impacts others (an *incredible* amount*!*). You may think it's just you, but that's because you're downplaying your value and significance in others lives (especially when you don't show up emotionally or mentally).

Neglecting yourself impacts those you love (in a BIG way*!*). You may not be unhealthy enough (personally) to be neglecting others, but if you cannot secure your own oxygen mask, you cannot even *begin* to help or secure another's (this is a crashing plane scenario, but you get the picture - - it expands to much less dramatic topics :smile-new: ). Type 9's can be incredibly neglectful of others, because when they're at the lowest levels of health, they just cannot seem to show up (they're numbing so much out).

Additionally, in the middle levels of health, you may not realize that I don't want favors from my Type 9 friends. My husband can be really good about noticing what I want and attending to my needs, but a lot of this behavior stems from wanting to "keep the peace", and keep those you love "happy". What he hadn't seemed to understand, is that I wanted *him*. While sometimes it's nice to get my way, or have him dote on me and seemingly seem to not need anything himself (or at least not ask for anything) - - like some sort of low-maintance cactus - - (lol);; I ultimately want *him* to show up to our relationship & friendship.

If a Type 9 cannot show up for themselves, they cannot (ultimately) show up for others (which is a form of neglect - - & forms neglectful behaviors on a fundamental level, because to truly address what others need, you need to be present to yourself *first* & be able to address your own needs).

I love Type 9's (they're most frequently my friends - - & lovers), but this is definitely a pattern I see, and it *definitely* affects those they love. It is a form of neglect that extends to others …


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## charlie.elliot (Jan 22, 2014)

@o0india0o :sad:


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## o0india0o (Mar 17, 2015)

charlie.elliot said:


> @o0india0o :sad:


(lol) 
I am sorry, I did not want to make you sad. :hugs:
Like I said, Type 9's (along with fellow 7w6's) are some of my *favorite* people*!* :eagerness:

I was a bit impassioned;; and I'm sure you're an Amazing friend*!* (I was not calling that into question)
But, I've just noticed that some Type 9's don't seem to understand that your friends (and family, and loved ones) want your "presence" and not your "presents". We miss you when you don't show up - - we wouldn't be good friends if we didn't. :smile-new:

We love you guys' and so we just want your opinions, and emotions, and thoughts (even though -at times- this might cause upset). We miss you when you're not fully present.
That's all.


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