# Recovering my identity, healing after a breakup



## Amyra (Sep 20, 2018)

Hey guys.. Amyra here. So I m a 21 year old girl. I know you would all say that go to those breakup threads and get some points there. I did it. I have read all. I got better. But still I wanna heal by talking to someone. 

•> At 15th august the breakup occured and its 6th October now. I do have hope regarding my life, but I seem very thoughtless , scattered, and am not able to concentrate at all. I am not able to start up on my aims, everything seems so boring.

•> The relationship was a two year serious relationship. (I will not go into proper details) I had a difficult life, difficult circumstances (mentally) and when I had to choose between him and a moving life, I chose the relation again and again every single day, than a normal moving routine. (That requires a lot of details that I want to skip, I m already done analyzing them thoroughly) the main point is, that I chose him again and again over everything in my life and he left me like this. 

•> I am done analyzing what happened and how it all happened and ol. Now dont want to go to that part. The main point is that I chose him every second over everything in my life and now its getting harder to get over it. 
Its being harder to form an independent and my kind of identity and spark that I always had before him. Thats where I need help. Thanks in advance 🙂

•> I have certain restrictions, I cant have a social exposure for around 4-5 months atleast. So, the social hang out for recovery gets cancelled.


----------



## TallGreen (May 6, 2017)

Do you have any hobbies? You could try joining a class or meetup group about one of your interest. This way you can meet people who like the same things as you do, and you have a support group while you rediscover your identity.


----------



## Amyra (Sep 20, 2018)

TallGreen said:


> Do you have any hobbies? You could try joining a class or meetup group about one of your interest. This way you can meet people who like the same things as you do, and you have a support group while you rediscover your identity.


Is it possible that I would be able to recover without social exposure? Because I cant have a social circle for around 4-5 months atleast. 
I think I must mention it in the main post


----------



## TallGreen (May 6, 2017)

Amyra said:


> Is it possible that I would be able to recover without social exposure? Because I cant have a social circle for around 4-5 months atleast.
> I think I must mention it in the main post


I guess its not impossible but it helps a lot I think to have new people around to distract you. I don't know how else to rediscover your identity without going out and trying to do new things, or something you love to do but never gave enough attention to.

Are you under house arrest? lol.


----------



## islandlight (Aug 13, 2013)

Apparently you can socialize via the Internet. Get involved in discussions and activities that remind you that you are much more than what you were in the relationship. Help others (answer questions on forums, etc.). Do physical exercises and mental activities (e.g., puzzles). Make plans, and do research on career, travel, skills, etc., so you can build a new life when your restrictions are lifted.


----------



## Amyra (Sep 20, 2018)

islandlight said:


> Apparently you can socialize via the Internet. Get involved in discussions and activities that remind you that you are much more than what you were in the relationship. Help others (answer questions on forums, etc.). Do physical exercises and mental activities (e.g., puzzles). Make plans, and do research on career, travel, skills, etc., so you can build a new life when your restrictions are lifted.


Thats such a nice advice !


----------



## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

Hey get a pug 

Or a cat


----------



## And1 (Aug 20, 2016)

I’m sorry you went through something like that. Clearly the experience impacted you greatly. I’m glad to hear you are on your way to reclaiming your life and moving forward with it. I agree with @islandlight. I hope you are able to eventually reach out to your support system or create one because that can help us get through difficult times more easily. Take care!


----------



## Amyra (Sep 20, 2018)

@And1 yeah, I ve fought it now and done with it. I m internally healed, but my mental habits have to be made right. I know I will beat it all.


----------



## Index (May 17, 2017)

Are you still in your healing process? You might not totally be done yet.


----------



## Amyra (Sep 20, 2018)

Index said:


> Are you still in your healing process? You might not totally be done yet.


Yeah. You are right. But it feels so happier and relieved, I am feeling like first time in heaven, everything seems so beautiful now without him. I lost my mind, my life my everything. I was always in anxiety, always worrying and always fighting with my own mind. But now I m really relaxed. 

I also got to know the real reason that exactly why he wasn't the right guy as I thought him to be. So, even if my heart still goes onto that track of loving him. I already know that I am not going to! Afterall, if he would have been the rightest guy, this wouldn't have happened. It was my mistake, my only mistake in judging him. He was a trickier one. I never thought that such things could ever be there. 

So basically what I get by this whole experience is a two-three lines long knowledge. And thats worth it. And I am happy with my life. 

I got my support system created at home itself , yay. And life is yummier than it ever was. So I am best. I am not completely on my track but still I am best than I ve ever been in my life. 

Thanks for asking


----------



## Index (May 17, 2017)

Amyra said:


> Yeah. You are right. But it feels so happier and relieved, I am feeling like first time in heaven, everything seems so beautiful now without him. I lost my mind, my life my everything. I was always in anxiety, always worrying and always fighting with my own mind. But now I m really relaxed.
> 
> I also got to know the real reason that exactly why he wasn't the right guy as I thought him to be. So, even if my heart still goes onto that track of loving him. I already know that I am not going to! Afterall, if he would have been the rightest guy, this wouldn't have happened. It was my mistake, my only mistake in judging him. He was a trickier one. I never thought that such things could ever be there.
> 
> ...


It isn’t a coincidence, his negative energy was corrupting you and now you’re free to spread love. I’m so happy for you. You deserve happiness.


----------



## Rascal01 (May 22, 2016)

You have your personal freedom, which is very valuable. Freedom brings opportunity, and opportunity can bring positive and productive change to your life.

Don’t waste your time and energy lingering over the past. Freedom brings you a future of your own creation. Dare to dream, think well of yourself, and step forward into better times.

What you see as a hardship may turn out to be a great gift. Make good use of it.


----------



## Alpha12 (Nov 8, 2018)

Best suggestions 
1 Give yourself time.
2 Do something scary (just Don't kill someone :laughing
3 Find a male friend and share everything (Just talking to someone reduces stress levels ) 
4 optional: (And if possible get in a new relationship)
5 Consult a psychiatrist.


----------



## contradictionary (Apr 1, 2018)

1. For many cases, only time can heal
2. Meanwhile, doing self projects and learning new hobbies in the constraint of home have no limitations, ne is your best guidance. Trust your Ne.

Writings will be nice. Put on a website of subject interests. Etc.


----------



## Abbaladon Arc V (Jan 16, 2018)

Being socioipathe with ADHD ? 

Really. If you are with someonne for long time 

Sorry but yyou have a part of this person in you 

YYou are not god 

Life is pain

And you never gonna really stop love this person 

Welcome to hell of realityy we can call W O R L D


----------



## Abbaladon Arc V (Jan 16, 2018)

Amyra said:


> Hey guys.. Amyra here. So I m a 21 year old girl. I know you would all say that go to those breakup threads and get some points there. I did it. I have read all. I got better. But still I wanna heal by talking to someone.
> 
> •> At 15th august the breakup occured and its 6th October now. I do have hope regarding my life, but I seem very thoughtless , scattered, and am not able to concentrate at all. I am not able to start up on my aims, everything seems so boring.
> 
> ...


People today give up relationship for work reason 

And call this a reason 

I broke a part of me sfor semeone i give my forgiveness and i was give up after one bad day after 1 years of the person i loved the most and i was desstroyed. I know the feeling of feeling destroy but i really feel like a loose a part of me , a part of my dreams and hopes because in my culture i NEVER see people give yp each other for work or somethingg else 

Some poeple looke like have heart but don't and some people don't look like have heart bbut have a big one 
Is like a brain 

Annd yeah when you want to be the best and give to people your life because you think you have somebody understand yyou can be the besst and marry with annd the give up one you like a shit and don't see you have sacrifice yan entire part of yyour life was painful , i prefer to be burn to feel like , and know a person say i love you don't really love yyou , ou can easy get frustrated and want to revenge or something like act badly.


I joking. You can heal yourself. Find yourself. Have a cat , search somebody have more sucess , more alpha , more kind , somebody respect you and somebody don't ggive up onlyy for work.
I hate mans do that or woman. There need a vacation at a poor country to see poor people happy in relation. 

If the guy give up on you onl for work , one advice , give up and him but turn around. Best revenge/
Go to the gym and do squatt , eat good , and learn something new. 
Cry 
have a good friend
Stop being needy with him
Do something your ex never want to do
Don't revenge on sex or ssomethingg like that , you onl loose values and give him right.


----------



## musixxal (Nov 14, 2018)

you should get into j-drama's and k-drama's: it's mostly nonsensical drivel, but it's good spirited fluff to keep you focused and preoccupied. if you're 21- it will help.


----------

