# INFP 4w3 or 6w7, but overly obsessed with winning?



## Alejandro (May 26, 2011)

Hey folks, Alejandro here.

This is going to be so much fun! But first, I have to tell you that my childhood personality looks different from my adulthood's, probably because of the fact that I have gone through the years of conforming to social norms and behaviors. I hope brilliant minds in this forum would help rediscover who I truly am!

My childhood:
1. Thought I was a prince until about 11 years old. I couldn’t help it, because that’s precisely how others perceived me. I was the most popular boy in a small school: I had a cute face, and I won every contest, be it 100m track, poetry, essay, debate, and even computer. However, I should say I was more popular with girls than guys; I fought with guys a lot because I sometimes confronted them to point out their incompetence (scolded for not making a proper pass or a goal in a soccer match). I was an overachiever who held a high standard for myself and others, and this must have sparked jealousy among guys and caused them to ridicule or fight me.
2. I liked the idea of winning, but I don’t think I enjoyed baseball or basketball for the sake of playing it. I was stressed and frustrated whenever I or my team lost. 
3. #2 is probably why I was genuinely happy to be in a room alone playing toys and reading books. What I enjoyed the most was anything to do with knighthood; I enjoyed staging a play consisted of toys based on a little narrative I created to ultimately make a good knight triumph over a monstrous evil to win a princess’s love. I also loved reading books on historical heroes. But you can say that i liked being alone in that way merely because, well, if I couldn’t win in real life, I could do so only in my own fantasy land. 
3. I excelled in that small school because all the teachers loved me for who I was. I thrive best when I have authority figures as supportive mentors. My life fell apart when I moved to another school in a completely different town. Let’s just say I didn’t have a big physique to win fist-fights against big bullies to prove that I was a prince to be respected and admired for excellence. 
4. I was jealous of others for being better than me at pretty much anything. I was able to be content to some extent through my teenage years, perhaps only because I found no match in writing.
5. I was a gifted fiction writer. I wrote a short fiction and won a prestigious nationalwide contest. The theme was about a high school kid who constantly works to distinguish himself from others, just to avoid being part of the herd.
6. I was a very sentimental kid. I still am. I have been hurt by insensitive remarks on my look and level of performance. But after days of despair, I have always turned my anger into energy and made it a source of my later successes. Sometimes I feel that a sense of injustice, either towards me or others, and anger that springs from are the most powerful forces that make me achieve and do well in school, work and life.

My adulthood:
On appearance:
1. I have to look good in front of people at all times. I do not aspire to be the most well-dressed person in the office or on the streets, but that’s what I aspire to be. When I walk on the streets, I am concerned with the looks of strangers around me. I guess my motive is more of trying to differentiate myself from others, or trying to forget about my subconscious sense of insecurity by compliments from others on my looks, rather than merely showing off.

On work:
2. Only truly motivated to work either (1) if I psych myself into believing that what’s in front of me (despite its dull and mundane nature) is part of some noble path, spiritual journey or quest for truth (you know, like a main protagonist in the movie) OR (2) if some authority (be it professor or supervisor, but has to be a good father figure that gives me guidance) tells me to do it (I tend to trust him enough to think that this dull and mundane task is a necessary step for my own growth and skill development).
3. Runs into a major crisis at work with ZERO motivation when neither (1) nor (2) happens.
4. I procrastinate my work until the last minute because I can’t concentrate on it much long. I can get it done really fast once I’m... let’s say... inspired again.
5. When I win a deal or get the parties resolve their differences, I feel a true sense of joy and happiness. 
6. I need new projects and ideas everyday to get myself inspired. There’s got be always something new.
7. I love serving clients and meeting their needs.
8. I realized that being in a company of congenial and intelligent co-workers is not a luxury but a requirement.
9. I hate office politics and conflicts. I find it interesting to observe how managers struggle for power as much as I enjoy politics, but I get easily disoriented by pessimism and hostility that poison the workplace.
10. I love whenever I feel like I belong to a company of heroes striving for common, noble goals. Make me feel like a hero, and I need that idea of myself to march on with confidence. I would have loved to fight against Nazis, but now I am thinking about doing criminal prosecution against corporate greed in developing countries. 

On life:
11. I have pursued a career in government and international affairs in hope of serving the country. I am very patriotic and willing to devote myself to the good of the community (which makes me think I am 6w7).
12. I need a mentor to feel energy about life. I need someone with an authority figure to guide me through the path that I want to embark on. 
13. At the same time, since I have been constantly obsessed with the notion of trying to distinguish myself from others, I have often felt lost at the absence of a perfect authority to guide me. When I am lost without a proper guidance, I have no strength to continue the work that I was once passionate about.
14. I do not care about money, but I care about respect and prestige. I want to be admired by others, but not based on my material possessions, but based on what I contribute to the world.
15. I need to find a cause I can believe in to be passionate about life. I need to forge my path to be smart and knowledgeable enough to serve the underdogs. Basically, I would like to be David that faces Goliath. There is nothing I would feel more joy than beating down the bullies with my own wits and knowledge. 
16. I feel inspired by people and I love motivating people. I loved teaching and counseling kids, and I still can’t forget smiles on their faces when they shared their dreams and aspirations with me.
17. I get excited to meet people, but I have to have my own space where I can just relax without interference from others. Someday when I get my own house, I would love to have my own study room where I can listen to classical music and read books all day.
18. I am really great at making friends and having exciting conversations in a small group setting. But in a setting with about 6 or more people, you will see me mostly silent. It’s because I feel that a large group of people are likely to misunderstand what I say and I will exhaust energy trying to explain the meaning of it. Or maybe I am afraid of getting frowned upon by a crowd. 
19. I want to be a renaissance man, a lawyer, a diplomat, a writer, and a man of justice on behalf of those who do not have voices.

Some clues:
20. I am in love with heroic movies. I love classic movies like Ben-Hur, El-Cid and Quo Vadis, and modern movies like Kingdom of Heaven, Braveheart, the Messenger and Alexander. All share the theme of an idealist hero who struggles to fight for the cause he/she believes in, even under the threat of prosecution and death.
21. My favorite author is Dostoevsky and his novel Crime and Punishment inspired me to write a short story. I could empathize Raskolnikov's hatred of injustice and corruption, call for strong leadership, constant inner struggle to justify his murder and desire to redeem himself.

I think I am INFP with 4w3 or 6w7, but I’m not too sure. There are too many variables and contradictions in me to make an objective assessment of myself. I am seeking wise men and women to give me advice! 




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## Alysaria (Jul 7, 2009)

I believe that 2 of my brothers kids are INFPs....I know for sure that one is. XD They are both extremely competitive, but for different reasons. 

My nephew is a sweet, sensitive little soul. He loves performing, but only for small groups and gets embarrassed really easily. He sometimes gets his feelings hurt when people are abrupt with him, even if they aren't being mean or harsh at all. When it comes to competition, he will challenge anyone to anything just for a chance to win. If he loses, he yells and hits the couch - my brother and sister-in-law have been working on getting him to relax and accept defeat gracefully....but boy does he hate it. 

My niece is the daydreamer. She used to follow her ENFP sister around and wanted to do everything with her, but she's started to wander off on her own a little and create solitary stories in her imagination.  She writes most of them in a journal that she likes to share with her family. Her issue with competition is that she imagines that she's already won and thinks about how great it feels....so when she loses, it's like the victory she already had was ripped away and it's even more disappointing. She'll usually cry for a bit and then gets over it.

>.> I think that streak of perfectionism can definitely lend itself to competitiveness in INFPs.

also: 
http://personalitycafe.com/infp-articles/7277-infp-child.html


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## Alejandro (May 26, 2011)

Alysaria said:


> I believe that 2 of my brothers kids are INFPs....I know for sure that one is. XD They are both extremely competitive, but for different reasons.
> 
> My nephew is a sweet, sensitive little soul. He loves performing, but only for small groups and gets embarrassed really easily. He sometimes gets his feelings hurt when people are abrupt with him, even if they aren't being mean or harsh at all. When it comes to competition, he will challenge anyone to anything just for a chance to win. If he loses, he yells and hits the couch - my brother and sister-in-law have been working on getting him to relax and accept defeat gracefully....but boy does he hate it.
> 
> ...


Thank you so much for your post, Alysaria! I should say I was a combination of your two lovely kids.

I wasn't shy about anything. When a teacher asked who would sing a song or read a passage on a textbook, I was the first one to raise a hand and perform. Everyone used to love it, haha.

I wrote journals and submit them for every classmate to see. My teacher just decided to put it on the back of the classroom for all to read. I guess my motive though was different from your kid in that it was to impress my teacher and classmates for how well I wrote and how thoughtful I was. I feel embarrassed now because now I have no desire to reveal my inner thoughts to anyone but close friends 

Yeah about losing... I hated losing and sometimes showed anger. I was angry especially when others won by cheating and not playing a fair game. On the other hand, I didnt care if someone else won over me for something that I was not good at in the first place.


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## 7rr7s (Jun 6, 2011)

Are you trying to find out your MBTI or enneagram type? You remind me of myself in some ways, and I am a 3w4 INFP.


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## Alejandro (May 26, 2011)

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## Alejandro (May 26, 2011)

KindOfBlue06 said:


> Are you trying to find out your MBTI or enneagram type? You remind me of myself in some ways, and I am a 3w4 INFP.


Yay, blue! I knew it by reading your posts that you are INFP 3w4. You know what? After reading many posts about 3w4, I think I am definitely 3w4.

Now I am actually unsure whether I am INFP, but I am definitely an introvert that constantly think about possibilities and pursues a legal career acknowleding every day that I am not a logical thinker but more of an empathizer. I procrastinate a lot and while I love making plans, I rarely follow them or enjoy doing so. Makes me INFP, right?


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## 7rr7s (Jun 6, 2011)

@Alejandro haha I'd love to know what posts you read, but whatever. Yay another 3w4!!! INFP? ISFP? INFJ? Could be any of those if you ask me. I'm not as weel versed in MBTI though. you might be better off asking @Paradigm for an assesment. I think you may be more 3w4 than 3w2 though.


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## Paradigm (Feb 16, 2010)

My _first _impression is 3w4-6w7-1w2 so/sp. You might be 3w2, yes. More doubtfully, you might be so/sx.

In addition to the thread topics on the Enneagram forums, here's some good resources:
Typewatch Enneagram
the enneagram ...info from the underground

I don't know much of anything about MBTI-typing and your list of accomplishments doesn't really tell us how your brain works :tongue: Try one of the questionnaires in the stickies, that should help.


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## Alejandro (May 26, 2011)

KindOfBlue06 said:


> @_Alejandro_ haha I'd love to know what posts you read, but whatever. Yay another 3w4!!! INFP? ISFP? INFJ? Could be any of those if you ask me. I'm not as weel versed in MBTI though. you might be better off asking @_Paradigm_ for an assesment. I think you may be more 3w4 than 3w2 though.



Yay! I read 3w4 description v. 3w2 description, and you're right that I'm more of 3w4. I do not go out when I am not ready (heck, I do not even go to a nearby store to get some fruits if I am not properly dressed!) I have to constantly check on myself to make sure that I look good, and people do respond to that; those I have recently met have commented that I always look fashionable (although some girls have complained that I don't take off my nice jacket even in an insanely hot and humid weather... )


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## Paradigm (Feb 16, 2010)

Alejandro said:


> I do not go out when I am not ready (heck, I do not even go to a nearby store to get some fruits if I am not properly dressed!) I have to constantly check on myself to make sure that I look good, and people do respond to that; those I have recently met have commented that I always look fashionable (although some girls have complained that I don't take off my nice jacket even in an insanely hot and humid weather... )


To be fair, I know two 3w2s who are *exactly *like that, both so/sp. I don't think that's a very good indicator of 3w4ishness. Check these:
http://personalitycafe.com/type-3-forum-achiever/39235-enneatype-3-wings.html
http://personalitycafe.com/type-3-forum-achiever/106465-main-differences-between-3w2-3w4.html


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## Alejandro (May 26, 2011)

Paradigm said:


> My _first _impression is 3w4-6w7-1w2 so/sp. You might be 3w2, yes. More doubtfully, you might be so/sx.
> 
> In addition to the thread topics on the Enneagram forums, here's some good resources:
> Typewatch Enneagram
> ...



Thank you Paradigm! I will take that test in the stickies, but I kinda suspect that I was naturally born as ENFP but changed gradually into INFP.


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## Alejandro (May 26, 2011)

Paradigm said:


> To be fair, I know two 3w2s who are *exactly *like that, both so/sp. I don't think that's a very good indicator of 3w4ishness. Check these:
> http://personalitycafe.com/type-3-forum-achiever/39235-enneatype-3-wings.html
> http://personalitycafe.com/type-3-forum-achiever/106465-main-differences-between-3w2-3w4.html



Thanks again Paradigm for an excellent suggestion!

Unfortunately, the descriptions make me more confused about my type. I am a guy who gets pumped up whenever I meet new people (but only when I feel good by looking good; otherwise, I cancel meetings or delay them). I will probably the most genuinely happiest person among the group of people who meet each other for the first time. I shake hands and smile all the time. 

Now that being said, I actually feel more comfortable playing a role as a mentor and a friend in a small circle of friends. I tend to lose interest in most of the people that I get to meet and end up having only a few that really resonate with me in a personal level. So I am not sure I'm 3w2 or 3w4 (probably the mix of both? all the better!)


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## Paradigm (Feb 16, 2010)

Alejandro said:


> Unfortunately, the descriptions make me more confused about my type. I am a guy who gets pumped up whenever I meet new people (but only when I feel good by looking good; otherwise, I cancel meetings or delay them). I will probably the most genuinely happiest person among the group of people who meet each other for the first time. I shake hands and smile all the time.
> 
> Now that being said, I actually feel more comfortable playing a role as a mentor and a friend in a small circle of friends. I tend to lose interest in most of the people that I get to meet and end up having only a few that really resonate with me in a personal level. So I am not sure I'm 3w2 or 3w4 (probably the mix of both? all the better!)


Everyone has a mix of both wings in them. I have a strong 5 influence while having a 7 wing; people often mistake me for a 6w5 instead of a 6w7.

Likewise, most people--no matter their type in any system--will tell you they prefer one-on-one or very small groups. It's just human. One of the 3w2s I know is an ExTP (I'm unsure on N/S) and he loves teaching... It engages his Ti/Fe. I'm very often a victim of his teaching sessions 

I apologize, I skimmed over the OP (it's very late here) and missed half the points where you said you were "positive." It implies more of a 3w2 influence than 3w4. If you were 3w4 you'd feel more "scarred" and such. One 3w4 I know says she enjoys showing off her (metaphorical) scars since they're a way of showing how she's unique. The 3w2s I know would never dream of doing such a thing; they have to look put together at all times. Your last couple posts strike me as you doing the latter on a regular basis.

I will admit that it might just be the 6w7 and 1w2 influences I see that's clouding your 4 wing. But... I'm not sold anymore.


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## Alejandro (May 26, 2011)

Paradigm said:


> Everyone has a mix of both wings in them. I have a strong 5 influence while having a 7 wing; people often mistake me for a 6w5 instead of a 6w7.
> 
> Likewise, most people--no matter their type in any system--will tell you they prefer one-on-one or very small groups. It's just human. One of the 3w2s I know is an ExTP (I'm unsure on N/S) and he loves teaching... It engages his Ti/Fe. I'm very often a victim of his teaching sessions
> 
> ...



There is no need to apologize for anything! I thank you for spending your precious time to post anything you have to say about my type, so I appreciate everything! 

I love teaching too. I taught English to high school students who didn't want to study at all. On the first day I told them to close their books and asked them to share their worries and dreams. I knew, just by sharing their dreams, they would be a lot more receptive to my subsequent motivational speech about how English as a subject, and good grades in general, would put them to the best colleges and help them achieve their dreams. I tell ya, there's nothing more exciting than watching students suddenly showing their eagerness to learn through their sparkling eyes and determined faces. 

To be honest, I'm positive most of the time because I try to be (and pretend to be so) in front of people. When I'm alone, however, I often feel a bit melancholic or depressed, mainly because I often get to remember scars that others have left in my soul. They do come vividly, and I try to get rid of them by listening to good music and watching movies. I generally don't enjoy showing off my scars, but I sometimes found comfort in sharing my scars and other secrets with the one I was in love with.


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