# Enneagram 5 or 6. Help me.



## lifesrule42 (Nov 30, 2010)

Okay, I've been having a lot of trouble trying to figure out what type I am. I go between type 6 or 5. I tend to be a very serious worrier, and tend to think a lot about problems. But that's just my normal thing. However, I have to admit, that I sometimes, don't try to fear people, I just do my own thing. I write, read, spend time alone. Mostly, and I've always been described this before, I'm a thinker. I wish I was more productive, and a little more into my feelings. I mean, I understand my feelings and stuff, but I don't really react normally as I should.
It takes a long time for me to openly express my feelings. I'm rather private about them, and so people have to get me by surprise when I cry or something.

Can anyone help me? Please?


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## Ace Face (Nov 13, 2011)

Fill this out, please 

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these? 

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?

11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.

12. Comment on your relationship with trust.

13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.

14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?

15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?

16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?


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## lifesrule42 (Nov 30, 2010)

Fill this out, please 

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?

My main drive is nothing at the moment. I'm pretty sure that's a bad thing. But it seems like people always decide for me. I'm just doing what they say so I can just have a secure future. As soon as I'm done with my studies, I will get as far away from the people I know and focus on what I want to do. I think that I want to be free, just enjoy life. I think that drives me, even now when I feel like I don't have much choices, I just enjoy life and just try to live, you know?
I look for maybe a faster way to reach my goals. I look for peace of mind, to have everything solved. To fix the problems that arise around me. I spend a lot of time thinking of the past and what I could have done differently. I just basically spend a lot of time in my head, you could say.

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?

I hope to one day write a good story. Something where my characters will leave an impact on people. Make them unforgettable. I just don't think I'll ever publish it into a book. I'm much to shy, and I'll be not happy with it. Mostly, I just want to be a writer. Write out the stories I think of every day. There my stories, and I like to give them life. I think that putting them on paper does a good job of doing that, even though I prefer typing to writing, but that's another story.

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?

I hope to avoid not doing what i set out to do. To be nothing and be nothing. To just be worthless. I mean, everyone goes around saying I'm this smart kid, to just not do something that's good enough. That's a big blow to me. I don't want to not accomplish even my smallest goal, because I know I can do it. I just feel like sometimes I can't, and that's something I don't want to do, you know?
My values are pretty high, even for me. I make them so hard to achieve and sometimes they're even tainted with the need to be perfect. I don't want to lie, I hate doing bad. I feel incompetent when I do wrong and sometimes I just, out of habit, don't answer anything because I would rather have someone answer wrong than answer wrong myself. So yes, I just want value doing good, but it borders on plain perfectionism sometimes. I'm just really into my beliefs I guess.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why? 

My biggest fears is, probably, not being able to take care of myself. It's a stupid fear, but I'm a pretty self-contained person. I learned that I had to take care of my business and try to not rely on people. So taking care of myself, even though I hate being selfish, comes as second nature to me. I don't mean that I go around not sharing my stuff or just being mean and selfish, not that way. I'm just pulling away from people, because I need to know that I will be okay. I don't trust people to keep me safe. I guess my fear is not being secure. To be let down by the people I thought I could trust.
Mostly, I'm afraid that I'll trust someone and then have my world out of control. I guess that could be another fear, loss of control.
Okay, so loss of control and being let down. That's basically it. Sounds like a 6 to me. 

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?

I want people to see me as someone who has everything under control. That I'm strong and that I don't need to be taken care of. That I am strong. For some reason people just see me as someone they need to take care of. Sucks, really. I want to be seen as someone who can have it all together. In truth, I see myself the complete opposite. I see myself as someone who doesn't have it together. As someone who's to proud to ask for help. Someone who only has brains as an advantage over people (even though I don't think I'm that smart, but people seem to think so, so I use that as the only part of me that has some form of strength. Her head. It really is the only thing I've got. People start off being all nice and stuff, but as soon as I let them see I have a strong head in my shoulders they actually start taking me a little more seriously).

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?

When people start telling me that I'm a good writer, that usually brightens my day. Of course, I'm usually good at other stuff in English, so people will compliment me about that. It really makes me feel good on that area. The thing that makes me feel my worst is when I'm trying to talk to people and I fail at it. I'm bad at talking so that makes me feel pretty bad.

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.

Anger doesn't take over, but I do feel mad at myself for a long time. It make myself angry and then get only angry at myself. I could never feel angry at other people. Shame usually has me thinking of people I know, which only makes me feel even more ashamed than before. Anxiety, doesn't always make a big impact on me. It's like I know that I'm anxious, but I can't seem to stop myself or even notice what I'm doing. My mind goes on overdrive and I just can't focus on what's going on in the here and now until I'm over it. It takes a while for me to get how I feel.

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.

To stress I try to remain calm, but I get angry, because I'm losing time and just get so confused. With unexpected change, if I'm particularly close to the place or people or thing, I get sad, but don't cry. I just bury the feelings inside and let them soak in. I don't like talking about my feelings, or even showing them, so i get angry when people take a guess on how I feel. Pisses me off, really, because they're my feelings and no one knows how I really feel. Conflict is just hard, because I know I'm angry, but I'm not a person who likes conflict, so I'll just take it out on myself since no one else will react well to my anger. I really hate conflict.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these? 

I hate authority, because they are incompetent. I really think people could do better. I don't tell them this, since it won't accomplish nothing, but in my eyes authority has no power over me. Power is harder, because I don't believe that any one should have power. It should be done for good, but people use it for bad.

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?

Life is good, but humanity is bad. Simple as that. They're complex, but I just see people as liars and one a whole black or white spectrum that it's really hard to see them any other way.

11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.

Well, I moved schools recently, and I just felt sad. I cried for the first time. I move around a lot but I don't always cry, so this got to me. Now I just try to not think about it and don't want to get close to people again. I don't want to cry later in life when I have to move again.

12. Comment on your relationship with trust.

It's a dead end. There's no trust between me and the world. I don't rely on people remember? I wish there was someone out there worthy of me trusting, but so far nothing.

13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.

I'm sweet, I know right from wrong. I actually correct others. I have a brain. I have good sense of judgement, at least I hope I do. My bad characteristics are anger, resentment, shy, a little on the cynical side. Not trusting. A little stubborn.

14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?

They're bad or they're liars. Amazes me how I know straight off the bat and yet others, who are so good at reading people can't even guess it in people until it's too late. Pisses me off to no end. I mean, it just shows people have no brain in their head, seriously.

15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?

I feel bad, but then angry and then I hate that person for the rest of my life. I brood a lot. If that person is good and pure and the sweetest thing around, and was just having a bad day, I wouldn't forgive them even then. I'm stubborn.

16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?

I'm thankful for being a good person. I'm thankful that I can think straight. I wish I could be a little more structure, because I'm bad at keeping track of things. that's why.

, hope you can help me. Know that I don't like doing all these questions and I'm doing them now because I really want to know which one I am. So, thank you.


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## LotusBlossom (Apr 2, 2011)

I'd go for 6w5


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## lifesrule42 (Nov 30, 2010)

Should have guessed as much. I usually type 6 w 5. How did you figure it out, Kayness?


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## Owfin (Oct 15, 2011)

I think you are type 3, to be honest.



> I hope to avoid not doing what i set out to do. To be nothing and be nothing. To just be worthless. I mean, everyone goes around saying I'm this smart kid, to just not do something that's good enough. That's a big blow to me. I don't want to not accomplish even my smallest goal, because I know I can do it. I just feel like sometimes I can't, and that's something I don't want to do, you know?


Ding ding ding image type. And your method of obtaining an image? Goals.

You talk a lot about how people see you, as well.


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

lifesrule42 said:


> Can anyone help me? Please?


Try the Enneagram Attention Styles. I like this description because it goes into internal thought processes of the enneagram types. I was initially typed wrong, but this has helped me pin down my true type.


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## lifesrule42 (Nov 30, 2010)

Owfin said:


> I think you are type 3, to be honest.
> Ding ding ding image type. And your method of obtaining an image? Goals.
> You talk a lot about how people see you, as well.


 That makes sense, but maybe I didn't make myself clear. I don't like goals. I'm a sort of go-with-the-flow kind of person. Only when people ask that I put structure or want me to be more disciplined is when I worry. I just don't go around wanting to fulfill any goals. I want to do what I want to do, and sure, some of them are goals, but I know for the most part that once i reached them I'll be focused on my next thing. So goals aren't my most important subject.

And the only reason why I care about how people see me is because I have to. If i could I would just screw everyone around me, even some of my family (the ones I really hate). I even dream of blowing off the people I care about because all I want is to be alone. To be happy, but people get in the way of that. I'm never going to please people, i hate people!

Why would I go around caring what they think of me? The only reason it sounds like i care, is because as soon as people label me as smart and compliment me, I feel like I have to fit that role. I know deep in my heart that I'm not smart, that I'm not anything people say of me. I tell them this constantly, but they're all; fucking fixated on thinking what they want, so I just try hard to be that. When I can't be. So I just give up early on. I mean, i can't make them understand, but at least I can make them think I'm smart.

Funny thing is, I try to be smart, but I can't. It's only when I don't try to be smart, is when it happens. If i didn't have a brain, maybe people would leave me alone, but no. I have a brain and people make a big deal of it.

So yes, I may care what people think of me, but only when they're giving me false compliments. True to them, false to me. But hey, that's just my opinion. But not to be rude, I don't think I'm a type 3 at all. Sorry.


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## LotusBlossom (Apr 2, 2011)

lifesrule42 said:


> Should have guessed as much. I usually type 6 w 5. How did you figure it out, Kayness?


 sorry didn't see this until now.
yOU seem to be very security-driven, but seem to be more independent and prefer solving problems by yourself than a 6w7 might be.


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## lifesrule42 (Nov 30, 2010)

Kayness said:


> sorry didn't see this until now.
> yOU seem to be very security-driven, but seem to be more independent and prefer solving problems by yourself than a 6w7 might be.


Oh okay I see. Thanks so much for answering this for me. Man, I can't believe that all this time I knew I was a 6w5. I do wonder though, does it happen naturally or is it just something that everyone does. I've heard that a lot of people get typed as 6. Which sometimes made me doubt i was a 6 in the first place. I don't know it's a bit confusing, but thank you.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

This is something I posted in another thread before:

Distinguishing between enneagram 5, and 6.
A lot of 6w5s type as 5s because some of the differences are very subtle, and have to do with their thoughts, rather than any obvious more external clues. 6 is a common type for intp, and every other mbti type for that matter.

Some not easily observable differences in the 5, and 6:

6s are more focused on the external. 5s, internal. 6s are also internal at times but they have more energy focused on the world.

6s thoughts are quicker, more hasty decisions are made, then gone back on sometimes. The mind generates thoughts and ideas quickly, and may stream several possibilities at the same time, as the 6 teeters back and forth between these different ideas. A 5 can more slowly connect the dots, in their stream of thought, carefully, building from a, to b, to c. A 6 will connect a, to b, to c, then recheck a, and b, finding alternatives to each, sort of like quickly shifting alternate puzzle pieces – and this happens very fast.

5s appear less anxious than 6s. The 6 wants the answers, the truth, the knowledge, so they can settle an inner anxiety. They want these things quickly.

The 6 profiles flat out suck, and I don’t actually expect any 6 to identify with and accept them. It makes them out to be social sixes (variant flavoring) usually, and it really plays up their anxiety, magnifying it to make it absurd and unrealistic. This is not to say that the 6 doesn’t experience a lot of anxiety. There is an undercurrent of anxiety in a 6 – lots of what-if thinking, and contingency planning (which doesn’t mean that 6s take a boyscout pack of tools with them everywhere, they just have thought through things that could go wrong, so they can be prepared for them).

6s are affected by things in their environment more than 5s. They are more aware of that environment in general in the first place, but an example of being affected would be something like this: a 6 witnesses someone elses misfortune, say an accident for example.. well, that 6 is going to take a note on how to prevent that from happening to -them-. A 5 wouldn’t necessarily feel connected to the incident enough to think that scenario through in a way that applies to them. 6s are also more aware of authority — especially authority they consider to be corrupt. 5s don’t typically give a damn to notice. They don’t feel touched by it. They have a level of detachment that the 6 does not have.

6s can go for stretches of time without really noticing their anxiety. They can think -over- the anxiety in a way, not paying attention to that shaky scared track playing underneath it at all. Counterphobic 6s can even go without noticing their fear, as they just reduce it to a little exciting push, that propels them headfirst into a situation instead of away -from- that situation like a phobic 6.

A 6s gut and img fixes can often be -very- present, sort of through their sixness, also. Many 8 fixed 6s can seem like 8s for example. I often see the primary types (3, 6, 9) as being more transparent panes that the other fixes in the type can show through. My point is that this is another thing that makes it difficult to identify a 6, or identify yourself as a 6.


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## lifesrule42 (Nov 30, 2010)

Promethea said:


> This is something I posted in another thread before:
> 
> Distinguishing between enneagram 5, and 6.
> A lot of 6w5s type as 5s because some of the differences are very subtle, and have to do with their thoughts, rather than any obvious more external clues. 6 is a common type for intp, and every other mbti type for that matter.
> ...


This was very interesting and fascinating. I definitely think that I focus on the external more than the internal. I just keep myself vigilant, almost like i'm waiting for something to happen. I don't know. Oh and the part where 5's are more detached would not be me. When I see something happening to someone, I'll instantly feel sad for them, but then it'll stay with me the whole time. i don't know why, it just happens. Thank you.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

Owfin said:


> I think you are type 3, to be honest.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Not nearly enough presentation to be core 3. Image fix maybe but kayness I think nailed it here.. I see prevalent 6 headyness as well.


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## lifesrule42 (Nov 30, 2010)

Thank you guys, so very much. It's all pretty clear and yes, you guys helped me understand the differences, so thank you all.


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