# MBTI vs Enneagrams vs Socionics compatibility



## kevman (Jun 6, 2010)

When it comes to predicting dating/relationship compatibility, which type of personality tool (MBTI vs Enneagrams vs Socionis) is the best?


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## Aerorobyn (Nov 11, 2009)

You don't use theoretical systems to determine the longevity of something as real a relationship, for fuck sake. 

Just go with the person you care about, and work your hardest at it.


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

I think instinctual stackings (sp/sx/so) are very important for compatibility to the point that I'd rank them over enneagram or mbti. If you have opposing stacks with someone, you can feel that the very first time you meet them. It will introduce certain awkwardness right away. People with similar stacks are more likely to have similar interests so you're more likely to not run out of topics to talk about. Most of the couples I've seen have been between people who share first stacking (like so-so, sx-sx, etc.) Even if your enneagram or mbti types aren't compatible, they can smooth over these differences, since both of you will be concerning with same kinds of issues or topics.

Second place goes to MBTI/socionics type. Differences here aren't felt immediately but let themselves be known over the course of many months of seeing and interacting with each other. MBTI/socionics type is less important for casual meetings, dating, and friendship but becomes more important the longer you interact (or in case of romantic relationships, if you move in to live together).

Enneagram type I would rank last. It seems like there is a lot of room for compatibility here, it's much less rigid than instincts or mbti type. Enneagram is really best for self-introspection and understanding oneself better, but it doesn't explain much in terms of relations between different types.


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## kevman (Jun 6, 2010)

cyamitide said:


> I think instinctual stackings (sp/sx/so) are very important for compatibility to the point that I'd rank them over enneagram or mbti. If you have opposing stacks with someone, you can feel that the very first time you meet them. It will introduce certain awkwardness right away. People with similar stacks are more likely to have similar interests so you're more likely to not run out of topics to talk about. Most of the couples I've seen have been between people who share first stacking (like so-so, sx-sx, etc.) Even if your enneagram or mbti types aren't compatible, they can smooth over these differences, since both of you will be concerning with same kinds of issues or topics.
> 
> Second place goes to MBTI/socionics type. Differences here aren't felt immediately but let themselves be known over the course of many months of seeing and interacting with each other. MBTI/socionics type is less important for casual meetings, dating, and friendship but becomes more important the longer you interact (or in case of romantic relationships, if you move in to live together).
> 
> Enneagram type I would rank last. It seems like there is a lot of room for compatibility here, it's much less rigid than instincts or mbti type. Enneagram is really best for self-introspection and understanding oneself better, but it doesn't explain much in terms of relations between different types.


Interesting...anyone else agree with this?


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

Each individual is going to have their own opinion from personal experience of what they are and are not compatible with - and I suspect they will also say that there are exceptions. Me, personally? I'm out of luck when it comes to dating people with Fe -or- Fi most of the time. I grate on Fi, pushing them away.. and Fe does that to me. Of course there are exceptions or I would never get along with anyone, but thats just an example of an issue that arises between me, whatever I am, and others. 

Enneagram types, well, I could say that many x make me feel y, and thats a negative or a positive thing, but will it be the case with every x. Nope. 

mbti - most extroverts will stress me out - but I have met exceptions to that too. 

I wouldn't base it on any of these things initially. If an Fe valuing 8 seemed really interesting to me and we got along fine, I would see how we interact.. see how it works in practice, because the compatibility theory is often wrong.


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## Introspiritual (Mar 12, 2010)

Which is "best?" Probably whichever theory you hold in the highest regard.

There are definite patterns of who tends to end up with who in MBTI (points at /sig) and the Enneagram. In the end, though, these are general tendencies - two healthy people with good communication and problem-solving skills can overcome pairings that "just don't work" according to one theory or another (though they might have to work harder to do so).


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## LiquidLight (Oct 14, 2011)

I personally wouldn't date anyone based on MBTI specifically just because many people are not typed correctly and it's not that reliable for typing personality let alone life partner material. 

Now assuming someone is typed correctly it might be to your advantage to know potential weak spots. Someone pointed out Fi vs Fe differences which can be killer (I don't know how two people with different value systems co-exist for long periods of time but I guess it happens). That's the one that jumps out at me. I suppose differences in perception like Ni vs Se could be potential problem areas (though I've noticed this being a bigger deal in the workplace than in relationships). 

But other than those potential problem areas, trying to figure out if an ESFP is good for INTJ is probably not the best way of going about business. You are far better off knowing your weak spots, your own anima projections, the things you project onto other people without realizing, etc and not worrying so much about the type of other person because like someone pointed out anyone can make anything work under the right circumstances.


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## kevman (Jun 6, 2010)

I have been reading more into the instinct typing...here is my take: two people can be attracted to each other simply because they have the same two primary instincts, regardless of order...eg. one person is sx/so and the other is so/sx or sx/so. However, those two people get along best in their daily lives if their MBTI complements each other as well...eg. INTJ and ENFP. (Btw, I think the socionics pairing theories are straight up wrong). I base this off of my personal life experiences as well as at looking at other people's relationships.


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