# Have you struggled with depression and/or anxiety?



## Hunny Bunny (Jan 12, 2011)

Laguna said:


> Thought I was so badass I can do it all and go and go and go and go some more!! Well guess what- no I can't.
> Panic attack city.



The only time in my life when I had panic attacks, was because of this ^^ type of thing.
I've mostly struggled with depression, but there was a time in my life where I wasn't self aware and all, and I was working so hard trying to work my way up in this certain type of career. I was working through lunches and doing it all - underappreciated, underpaid, etc. I put so much pressure on myself to do it all and do it perfectly... one day I snapped and had my first panic attack. Scary. I just couldn't stop flipping out. I worked through that and have not had any panic attacks in years. Still wrestling with depression, though. Situational - I've been through a lot in the past two years (top ten stressor-type stuff).


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## fihe (Aug 30, 2012)

Yes, starting at age 13-14. I had to take prescription medication for it but was able to stop once I went away to college.


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

I have the worst panic attacks while sleeping. I am dreaming--some guy with a hole shaped building, and something about a story of suicide--and then I wake up and can't breath! I've actually fainted, which is scary and pathetic.

But i usually get them at other times--in the evening, when I am not doing anything in particular.


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## jaijaiM (Sep 26, 2012)

Likewise, I don't have struggle to much with depression. Still thankful I we're able to deal with some obstacles I encountered.


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## Laguna (Mar 21, 2012)

Hunny Bunny said:


> The only time in my life when I had panic attacks, was because of this ^^ type of thing.
> I've mostly struggled with depression, but there was a time in my life where I wasn't self aware and all, and I was working so hard trying to work my way up in this certain type of career. I was working through lunches and doing it all - underappreciated, underpaid, etc. I put so much pressure on myself to do it all and do it perfectly... one day I snapped and had my first panic attack. Scary. I just couldn't stop flipping out. I worked through that and have not had any panic attacks in years. Still wrestling with depression, though. Situational - I've been through a lot in the past two years (top ten stressor-type stuff).


Be good to yourself!!!!
{hugs}


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## Faux (May 31, 2012)

I had a nasty spell of anxiety and depression when I was in my teens. It's not entirely gone, but it's become much more manageable since I looked at my life compared to the lives of my friends and realized how much I was missing because I let it dictate the way I lived. Depression/anxiety and any associated fears or insecurities couldn't do any worse to me than what I was doing to myself.

These days I just have increasingly pressing problems with OCD, though I grew up not really noticing it because it was so mild.


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## StElmosDream (May 26, 2012)

Seems a bit late now, since I had several depressive periods growing (last summer was the most recent time with clinical depression and social anxiety) but it seems in those periods of self doubt more hugs would have really helped or 'I'm here if you ever wanted to talk' speeches... sadly society still encourages 'avoiding' people with mental-emotional imbalances.

The saddest thing I realised when seeking self help over the Internet (bad idea there) was about cases of career depression, where some people regularly burst into tears at work and get ignored, making things worse e.g. if getting refused for promotions, discredited as unstable or unappreciated for anything but feeling like a mechanical work horse regardless.


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## Dr Wahwee (May 2, 2012)

I've been depressed since I was about 12-13 years old; it's been debilitating me for so long that I forgot what life was like without it. There were times where I would arduously build up the strength to get off my ass and do something about it, but any feeling of improvement was ephemeral; my mood would simply reset within the next day and I'd be back to that paradigm of self debasement. I wish my mood wouldn't oscillate so much... some days, I feel incredibly sharp and discerning and then the next I feel unfocused, emotional, and phlegmatic. It's as though myself and depression are so inextricably amalgamated that there's no semblance of a distinguishable "self". I'd like to believe things will get better... but it's as though the world is telling me to just give up and kill myself already.


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## QueCueYew (Aug 20, 2010)

Depression sucks, anxiety too, which I've been going through for 10+ years now. It manifested earlier in my teens and slowly grew to where it is now. Hopelessly lost, perpetually in a rut, feeling of inadequacy, no job, living with parents; some of my problems are more circumstantial while others are in my mind genetic/hereditary, which either of the two matter if I'm going through the ongoing struggle of finding my place in this world and how I fit in. Very recently I was prescribed an anti-depressant and anti-psychotic which I question whether I am getting the full benefit. I mean, it is nice to take these pills and return to relative normalcy, but these ongoing emotional disputes of happiness and placement are still there, sometimes coming back even stronger in intensity while I'm on the pills. I am more worried for my projected future than I am right now. This isn't really a "I remember when I was like that", as I am like that right now, and will be like this tomorrow, the next day, until something finally clicks. So yeah, it sucks, and to be honest, before taking the medication I felt more genuine than I do now, even if people didn't want to put up with my b.s.


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## TheBackwardsLegsMan (Feb 19, 2012)

I think I've had dysthymia since I was 10. I remember teaches and students coming up to me and asking me why I never smile. I always told them it wasn't because I was "sad," I just didn't have anything to be happy about. When that's the case literally every day for 6 years, though, you start to realize there might be a problem. The few people I've told about this issue don't believe it's possible to feel absolutely no joy in anything for 6 years, but it is. 

I can't even properly express how hard it is to get up in the morning when you know you aren't going to enjoy anything. I'm not even "sad" about anything, it's just... Not feeling happiness in so long starts to take a toll on you. I'm heavily pessimistic because I literally have no "bright side" to look at, not because I think everything is bad, but because even if things go well it doesn't make me feel any better. It's like I have a dark side of things and a gray side of things.

Of course it affects social interaction a lot too. No one wants to talk to the guy who seams completely disinterested in the conversation. Even if I genuinely do care about what you're saying I look so uncaring you'll stop talking to me halfway through. 

It wouldn't be that bad if I was just incapable of feeling emotion in general, but I can still feel negative emotion so I'm pretty much always in a bad mood. The reason I think I have dysthymia and not depression is I don't always feel horrible. It's just general sadness all the time, although there are the occasional bouts of depression on top of the general bad moods("double depression" I'm told it's called) . This has persisted over 6 years, and it's really gotten to me these last few months.


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## Junction0 (Jul 11, 2012)

I hated childhood. Was bullied a lot. No friends from 11 till now. Was shy and quiet, struggled with body image, self esteem and racial issues, then was semi-molested (I initiated/consented) a couple of times, then was bored and had no social life and felt trapped by school and house for years, especially because the place I lived in there's nowhere to go out, you have to drive places, but there's nowhere nice to drive. And struggling with bi/gay desires, confused, but I have to try with girls to see if the desires change for girls (on advice of fucking psychologist and conservative parents).

Anyway somewhere in between, somehow, by exercise and prayer, I got As and did well. Still felt really low. It got worse and worse and in senior year I did terribly.

Now I'm in uni, people are nicer, surrounded by knowledge, finally living in a proper metropolis. But still low, still can't study from senior year, want to go meditate and find the 'Reality', I want to be a professional harpist (never touched one though), I want to learn philosophy, but stuck with the courses I have now. Been pondering on suicide, jumping off a building, for years now. Really fearing some future deluge.

I get the terrorists, the killers, their deranged pain. 
Need to get married to someone--anyone, it doesn't matter if Ideal Lady X of the Blood and Good Family may not wish to marry you because you won't make the dough she wants--just marry, fuck and reproduce. 
Need to be a societal automaton, need to contribute, 
Need to make good money, need to be normal, need to be linear,
Need not to go 'too deep' into philosophy (run away run away from philosophy)
Need to uphold the *fucking communal moral code of the secular and religious law*. 
Need to lick society's ass? I'm sure society can fuck itself. *Down with hierarchy, down with moral code, down with capitalism, down with society.*


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## AstralSoldier (Jun 18, 2012)

I've got a few issues I'm struggling with, I don't need pity, I've been through alot, so I know when I'm 'down' from when I'm just 'down in the dumps'. I have Depression and anxiety, but these are apart of a larger spectrum of two disorders called PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and Dissociative Amnesia. I've dissociated since I was a child, which is the process of uncoupling your integrated sense of self (which includes memories, feelings, thoughts, and other personal/subjective forms of experience) to repress traumatic situations, neglect, and abuse; basically being conscious of that stuff would've probably driven me insane/schizophrenic by overloading my conscious mind and compromising the boundaries of my egos integrity, and severely disturbing my cognitive functioning.

I learned after habitual practice I could 'leave' my body, and immediate awareness of the situation at will by just 'spacing out', (I believe this is because my inferior function is Se) and go into my mind; I learned to create other 'people' who would deal with certain situations and painful feelings while I went inside, and when I came to, the damage was done, and I wasn't 'there' to feel it. Unfortunately, I spent most of my life in this state and have since then developed severe amnesia, for ages 1-18. 

I apologize for a lack of a linear factual timeline, and a 'story' about my life but I don't know much about my life, or my personality because I can't recall memories for a significant chunk of my life because most of the time I was dissociated, focusing on images that kept me focused away from the hell I grew up in. Life feels strange not being dissociated in someway, as I can't usually go 10 minutes being continuously integrated/fully conscious and in my body. I'm mildly anxious being fully conscious and being with people, (more pissed than anything) and expressing emotions, because I never was emotional/learned to express emotions growing up, but I felt them inside, and now that I'm an young adult, I feel so strangely out of place, with my body, and people. It's like waking up from a long sleep and not understanding the things, and people around you.

Some days though, I feel this anger that's so intense, and twisted it makes me want to absolutely destroy everything, and myself in a blazing glory...I've had dreams where I've seen the earth just explode, and burn in flames and I could feel this deep sense of contentment with that. I felt hatred, and resentment to everything and everyone, and just didn't give a flying fuck about people, or love; you stood against me, you fell. I had no patience for anyone who got in my way or stood against me...I was ready for war, all the kindness that I had had turned to utter darkness, and I enjoyed it...I enjoyed feeling that part of my personality, and dominating anyone who stood against me. I have to admit that I'm less than human some days.

In spite of that which is mostly all behind me, every day I stay out, I build the ego strength to stay out longer, and try to rebuild my life. I'm trying to get myself together so I can discover my true personality, because I've got ALOT of catching up to do apparently.


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

I did. I struggled with it while I was at the pinnacle of my career. I had to perform in front of instructors who would either pass or fail me according to their own set of biases, and I pulled $25,000 to be there. I mean, life can be such a bitch. But, after learning mindfulness techniques and reminding myself if I'm not having fun, then I'm doing something wrong- a lightbulb came up and I let go..

Once you let go.. life seems to fall into place.


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## Junction0 (Jul 11, 2012)

strawberryLola said:


> I did. I struggled with it while I was at the pinnacle of my career. I had to perform in front of instructors who would either pass or fail me according to their own set of biases, and I pulled $25,000 to be there. I mean, life can be such a bitch. But, after learning mindfulness techniques and reminding myself if I'm not having fun, then I'm doing something wrong- a lightbulb came up and I let go..
> 
> Once you let go.. life seems to fall into place.


Could you please be so kind as to elaborate on "letting go such that life falls into place"?


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## Kozokana (Oct 7, 2012)

Ever since I was bullied at age 13. Even though the bullying didn't last for years, it stuck with me..I'm extremely sensitive. I know this is probably a little rash, but I started self harm then as well. Which has stuck too (on and off) along with suicidal ideations, some more serious than others. But everything comes in waves, it either alternates for weeks or months, from anxiety to depression to anxiety to depression and so forth. It's very draining :c


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

Junction0 said:


> Could you please be so kind as to elaborate on "letting go such that life falls into place"?


To surrender..


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## Dark NiTe (Mar 5, 2012)

strawberryLola said:


> To surrender..


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## Stretch Armstrong (Sep 10, 2012)

In my foundation is a sick brick effecting me infected me. Maybe something I have done? or just came along with me in the box and some icky happenings from others. Peeling the layers back reveals more than I wish and sure makes all the years of running seem subconciously motivated. I learned pretty young that hard work and hard play kept a busy body and a busy constructive mind free from what amounts to pretty bad depression, it was there all the way and can see that now. I have some other "passengers" that are really expensive to haul around. I am interested in learning how to walk in this world today since running is no longer an option for me. At this point i'm not sure that i'm ok i just know it hasn't been optional it's been inevitable that I would have to face my depression. Now i've realized this shit can kill you. I've realized alot about depression, my depression and that it doesn't care who I am or where I came from or even where I thought I was going yesterday it's here and I have to deal. Just talking about it may not be enough but reading here of others lives and their experiences with many of lifes twists seems to help my depression and more. Yeah you'll be wanting to take care of that soon as possible.


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## Sheeduh (Sep 24, 2012)

I was diagnosed "officially" with depression almost more than 6 years ago. Wasn't diagnosed until I tried to kill myself and no one had seen it coming. Oops! In the past few years I have had many, many lows and a couple highs, and just normal times. I used to be honest and candid about my bad days because my friends had already seen me at my worst in the hospital, I was naive to think they wouldn't get sick of it because they thought because of therapy I'd be fixed after a certain point. I've had a few (what I thought were) good friends either "dump" me, or I had to walk away from them because they started becoming hateful and too misunderstanding of me. 

I've learned that my parents are really the only people who won't judge me and walk away, when I inevitably relapse or have bad days. I don't understand why people couldn't be more patient and understand I don't choose to be like this, I am not a masochist, I'd love to be normal. 

With the new friends I ended up making after the old bunch, I pretty much kept/keep my bad days and feelings to myself. I don't want to burden anyone, I don't want anyone to know enough because I don't want to chase away more friends. No one likes a negative person. I try my best to put on a happy face when I'm with my friends, and then go home and cry. If it's really bad, I just withdraw until I can get well enough to be able to go out in public without exposing my happy "I totally have my shit together" facade. 

The past month I've been in the worst depression I've been in since the many years ago when I tried to kill myself, except this time I know I can't escape it by offing myself because I couldn't bear doing that to my parents. They're pretty much mostly the only reason I get up every day and try to fight through it. None of my friends know how bad my depression is right now, and I prefer it that way. I don't want to be "that friend" who people don't want to be around because I'm not happy. So, I put on my best perky smile until I am alone. I try to just focus on helping my friends out, hoping to distract them from really asking how I am. Because unless you've been through it, especially for years, then you won't get it. I don't choose to be like this. All I can do it take it day by day, but I'd be lying if I didn't secretly wish that every day I get up, I wish I could die so I could be put out of my misery. Maybe a car will hit me today, or maybe I'll somehow get cancer, so that when I die, people will think of me as strong and courageous, not shame and disappointment. I'm pretty sure whenever I finally die, whether it be 35 or 65 (but please not as old as 85 UGH), I'm going to be at peace and really relieved for the pain and struggling to finally be over. I find myself wishing I could sacrifice my life for people who actually deserve or want to live. I find myself jealous of friends and loved ones who have died. One of my friends committed suicide last year, and I'm jealous that he succeeded where I failed. 

But I shall continue getting up every day just to make my parents happy. Even at my happiest, I'd be lying if I say I still wouldn't care if I died. So, it's not that I want to, but that I wouldn't fight it either if it happened. I'd accept it and be ready. I don't know if we were all made to make it on this planet?


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## 0vercast (Sep 24, 2012)

I've dealt with depression for a very long time indeed. When I was younger I wanted to try clinical treatments but various factors, which looking back now is a very poor excuse, got in the way. It wasn't until I realized how depression can alter your overall personality when left untreated for long periods of time, that I truly understood the damaging effects of the condition. Over time it becomes part of your identity and by that point, it pretty much is what it is.


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## Sapphyreopal5 (Jun 11, 2012)

*Depression*
There was a point in my life several years ago when I was a sophomore in high school (about 6-7 years ago now) where I felt so disconnected, incompetent, useless, and just felt like life would've been a lot better if I never existed. I felt that my parents' lives would've been better if I was never born, my siblings' lives would've been much happier if I wasn’t around, etc. I couldn’t focus in school, doing my chores, I was isolating myself from everyone, things like that.

Eventually I overdosed on multiple pills (over-the-counter drugs) and ended up being hospitalized for it. I was 1 pill away (Tylenol to be specific) from getting a toxic liver. Toxic liver = you have 48 hours to get a new liver or else…. You know, death.

I went to therapy for about 7-9 months after that incident. Sometimes I still experience some depression if I feel unable to get things done, am feeling incompetent/think I am an idiot, feel lonely (or otherwise not cared about), or if I am thinking that I’m not “worth it”. I don’t outwardly express my innermost desires or even my feelings unless I am with my sister or am talking to my best friend, or atm the current INFP I am crushing on ^_^ (at least sometimes, as long as I don’t think I’m bothering him). Otherwise, a lot of people could not guess my mood or state of mind in regards to feelings, unless I am displaying them with more conscious effort.


*Social Anxiety*
I will admit that although in social situations I don’t get overly nervous and can be good at making conversation, there is definitely such a thing as “too much extroversion” for me. Sometimes I feel anxiety generally speaking if I feel I haven’t had enough “me time”, or time to myself just being able to be lost in my own thoughts and to just “let my hair down”.

I don’t know if this is just a personal thing of mine or if it’s an Ni-dominant thing or what but for me, I really need to be able to be able to live in my imagined world (thus that “me time” need I strongly experience a lot of the time) or be on my train of thoughts in peace. Often times I find myself creating an entirely imagined world in my own mind that I live in very vividly, yet whenever I feel I am forced out of that world I feel anxiety. I get upset about being knocked out of my own train of thoughts, especially if the disturbance is nothing of importance. 

This is a big reason why I get upset sometimes whenever my parents call me for something I consider trivial, such as dinner being ready (especially if I am not really hungry or interested in food), them wondering where something is since I put away the groceries frequently (partially due to the fact I am more consistent with where I put things and they aren’t XD ), etc. I probably should relax more about being disturbed or being “yanked” out of my inner world at inconvenient times or “against my will”, as life happens and we can’t control everything that happens (we can internally but not externally). 

Sometimes I experience some anxiety if I am in situations involving intimacy, thus is one of the things that has led to some problems in a few of my relationships, including my most recent one. I am not naturally the most affectionate person and am often more on the aloof (cool and distant) side naturally, but certainly can be if I am in that mindset or "am in the mood" so to speak. No, I am not scared of intimacy although sometimes I can feel some anxiety if it is very sudden (snapping me out of my mindset), especially if the other person in my perspective is "coming on *too* strong". I generally like the unknown as a topic of discussion and reading and that some mystery is necessary to provide some spice to life, yet I also like to be prepared for different possibilities sometimes too. 


What I find personally helps me is reading, doing anything constructive, getting things done that need to be done, sometimes painting, answering questions online (wiki.answers, yahoo, etc.), reading threads online to see if others can relate to my feelings and thoughts, or doing anything I believe can help me better myself or my own situation.


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## Hunny Bunny (Jan 12, 2011)

Just wanted to thank everyone that's been posting on this thread. I've been dealing with some difficult stuff lately and my depression has gotten a lot worse. I had some really really dark thoughts this past Sunday. It scares me when I start planning out bad things like that.... but in that moment sometimes I feel so hopeless and like things will never get better.
Then... don't you hate it when someone says: "Don't worry. Things will get better." OMG! 

**goes ripshit**


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## Sapphyreopal5 (Jun 11, 2012)

Hunny Bunny said:


> Then... don't you hate it when someone says: "Don't worry. Things will get better." OMG!


YES! I know that feeling. It's also annoying when people say to you "smile!" or "cheer up!"


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## Kyandigaru (Mar 11, 2012)

i am really depressed and thought about suicide. I can't understand why so many people are granted things and they dont give a fuck about it. Boggles my mind all the time. I never really had a best friend and I wish I had someone to come home to and I dont. I want a job but cant get one. school is annoying the fuck out of me and I need money. I'm gaining more weight than losing.


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## 37119 (Apr 11, 2012)

Yeah, 8th grade was quite an episode for me. I was generally angry, ready to quit being a kid. Most of my anger was spat out at my parents. They didn't really deserve it. I went a few weeks not talking to my dad at all. I stopped caring about academics in spite of them. I was all bitchy to my friends, who probably didn't want to hear my dumb reasons for my depression. Suicide was considered at least twice a week. I didn't have the guts to attempt it. I had one friend who I opened up to (An INTJ. He's still my best friend.) who's probably the reason I never did attempt it. I managed to pull myself out of that state of ignorance and anger, and started focusing on intellectual pursuits. I haven't had a lapse like that since then. I do get some minor depression at least once a week though. It takes a day to go away normally. It's almost serves as a reality check though. I call it healthy depression (an oxymoron, I know.)


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## Reggie (Sep 30, 2012)

hypochondria during my early twenties. (Overactive Ne with underdeveloped Si)


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## Dolorous Haze (Jun 2, 2012)

I suffered from depressive periods from an extremely young age and hid them well until I was 11 when I decided to see what happened if I "let people know" how I was feeling.

Now I keep my problems to myself and most people I know would think that, while I can be a little bit cynical, strange and shy at times, I'm a fairly confident and 'happy' person. HA. After my "cry for help" backfired, I experienced even more guilt, shame and depression than before...I just got better at covering it up. Now I don't feel like I'm able to talk to any person who exists outside of my own imagination and self about my true emotions. They'll either think I'm even weirder, they won't care or they won't understand.


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## clowder (Jun 24, 2011)

I have social anxiety and I'm almost positive I'm also dealing with GAD but that one hasn't been diagnosed or anything. I've been getting pretty depressed with college life recently too, I just can't stand the work and constantly feel like I need to shut everything out. Life changes need to take place. :L


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## Vibed (Oct 11, 2012)

I've never had any form of true depression, but I from time to time would have occasional bouts of intense sadness. Feeling worthless, lonely, like no one cares what I'm doing, like I screwed something up so bad I could never get back on my feet. In a matter of days, hours or less, I'd be right as rain. Those moments happen much less often than a few years ago, I most be nearly over with puberty. :laughing:

I'm a very independent person, so those moments are both caused and cured by that. The only way for me to change my mood is with my own thoughts, no amount of words ever makes me feel significantly better. I can remind myself how strong willed a person I am, that there are people there for me, and that most of all, things always get better. I love going into every day with a positive mindset. For me, it makes the great days amazing and terrible days OK learning experiences.


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## The Whirlwind (Jun 1, 2012)

Well, here goes. I haven't seen a therapist or anything, but I'm planning on it. My symptoms seem to correlate to an anxiety problem similar to PTSD (but I believe aren't as severe). It started about 8 months ago following an incident involving myself and a woman I knew. I still see her regularly, but I have become extremely avoidant of her. I frequently get flashbacks of said incident. This problem has completely eaten up my motivation. Should I pursue a diagnosis and treatment?


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## INTJellectual (Oct 22, 2011)

Hunny Bunny said:


> Just wanted to thank everyone that's been posting on this thread. I've been dealing with some difficult stuff lately and my depression has gotten a lot worse. I had some really really dark thoughts this past Sunday. It scares me when I start planning out bad things like that.... but in that moment sometimes I feel so hopeless and like things will never get better.
> Then... don't you hate it when someone says: "Don't worry. Things will get better." OMG!
> 
> **goes ripshit**


I don't know how a simple post can help but I hope you are alright despite having some life difficulties. We can only hope, and that hope is our only source of strength to keep us moving on. My sympathies for you Hunny. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel.


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## Algernon (Oct 15, 2012)

I am not the kind to go see help, but I had a good three year stretch of what I would recently accept as depression; even though I knew it at the time, it can be hard to accept it. I had a lot of deep lows and very few positive times, and it took me a long time to get out of it. It took a lot of effort to get myself turned around, and I cannot pinpoint exactly what it was. The road to recovery has to be rooted in finding happiness, and sometimes that is finding purpose or meaning for your life. Any little thing that can find you happiness, should be relished. It helped that I frequented a football forum to keep my mind off of things, and I forced myself to sign-up for a team-sport each year. @Kyandigaru, I believe that finances usually do have a substantial impact, so I hope you do find a job at some point. I largely did not work during my depression, except for a few short-term things, because let's be honest: that is not what you want to be doing. I have a started a couple of part-time jobs to get me back into school again, and while they are not what I would want to do, they are something...and something is something. 

While I have contemplated suicide at various points in my life - I like to consider any and all alternatives, for good measure - I deeply wish that it would never occur. For me, it was largely during times when I could not control my emotions, and then there is the 'woe is me attitude' that accompanies it. I dated a girl a few years back whose brother committed suicide a couple of months after I broke it off, and as soon as I heard, I could see it. He had slowly lost hours at a part-time job, eventually quit and receded into his own room to play Warcraft. Unfortunately, there just was not the communication needed in that family, and someone needed to go out of their way to help him, and that's all that is needed sometimes. 

Sometimes we do not truly know how important we are to other people and the world until we are gone, and I can only hope that those who are contemplating suicide, or do, always remember the good that they can do for themselves and others, in time. It may not seem like it, and it may not seem possible with your current perspective, but the world is not the worst place to be. I found great comfort taking walks in the woods, being with nature. You just have to find your happy place, and frequent it long enough that you can get out of it. As for professional help, those who often do not wish it or those who most need it: sometimes you have to put aside your pride and talk to someone. 

I still need my lows because I think it's a big reason that I am who I am today, but I wanted balance and I have it. Best of luck everyone!


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## Moya (May 22, 2012)

Anxiety since around 6, depression (not sure if it's significant enough to be clinical depression or if it's just a side effect of the anxiety) since I was about 8 or 9.
For me, bouts of anxiety and depression tend to happen every few months for a few days and then go away. When they occur, though, they're awful...but not nearly as awful as a lot of people have it.


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## Kyandigaru (Mar 11, 2012)

@Algernon Its very hard you know. to Have the skills and ability to work and no one wants to fucken hire you. Let's be real, these simple ass jobs people take for granted is something I'd love right now. I constantly see and know of people who gotten hired who steal from their job, and have no respect for the customers. Its sad...and unfair. Hopefully, my time will come before I leave this earth. And what I mean by "my time", is happiness and satisfaction.


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## Algernon (Oct 15, 2012)

@Kyandigaru Completely understand. If you know an employee that can give you a positive reference that is the ideal; and even if there is not a job available at that time, at least you will be considered when they are looking. For the typical part-time job, the less work the better for the HR departments, so having your resume on file in multiple places will help. If you have a reference from one of their employees, they'll consider it convenient. It might take time, but as long as you submit applications to anywhere and everywhere, then you will catch the 'right time' for hiring at some point. You just have to keep at it; I interviewed at a lot of places before I was hired somewhere.


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## The Proof (Aug 5, 2009)

Are you kidding me I hate everybody and everything. I went through everything to get a good job and make something of myself and here I am and all I can do is ask myself "is this it? is this everything? what's next". I'm trying hard to maintain my interest in women as it is the last thing I have any interest in. 

Great tragedies and great successes happen all around me and I am completely oblivious to them, all of the things I used to find intriguing were nothing but a sham, the world is so chock full of propaganda I don't even know what is true and what is bullshit anymore, maybe all of it is bullshit.

Tommorrow I'm going to go to work, and for what, to prolong my existence, why I do that at all is anybody's guess, probably just force of habit, inertia, peer and societal pressure.

People have become repulsive to me, though I tolerate them if we're out drinking, as long as I'm not too sober I'm ok. If I were one of those talented manipulators I could probably use them to my own ends, but that holds no interest for me. They rant on about their petty struggles which are also my own, none of which is new to anybody, yet they feel compelled to blurt all this out.

And now I feel pathetic for whining when I have few actual problems to speak of, I guess I should be happy, but I'm not, because it's the same crap every day and I want nothing to do with anybody or anything anymore.


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## DaDiggler (Oct 1, 2012)

I have been depressed for years. The thing I hate the most is when non depressed people try to tell depressed people what to do. Especially when they give them advice that doesn't work. I also think self help is a terrible idea for depressed people (Well self help is terrible regardless if you are depressed or not) the self help industry is full of con artists and I have never seen one thing come out of that industry that can be proven scientifically. I read something a while ago that said depressed people have the same highs as non depressed people, but they have lower lows. So I am trying to focus on the root cause of my depression. 

I imagine that it would be nice having a significant other or someone close to you who you can talk to.


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## Hunny Bunny (Jan 12, 2011)

Is it risky of me to assume that there are a lot of people on PerC who struggle with depression?
A lot of rant posts I read have a lot to do with people feeling depressed and very alone and just struggling to get by.
Including from myself. These past four months have been very difficult for me. 

Sometimes I wonder what the point of dealing with this is. Why not just give in? (speaking to myself only)


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## Bear987 (May 13, 2012)

Hunny Bunny said:


> - Feelings of being "not good enough"


Not good enough for what or whom? I am asking b/c I wonder whether the answer might solve the initial doubt or reluctance. I see (some) other people as better than me too. It uneases me, but I have come to accept - no not accept, but notice that other people sometimes simple are better than me in particular ways.

I am not saying that you're not the best (at anything); since I still think the world of you :blushed:! Ha ha!

Do you think your feelings of inferiority will ever pass (in this life)?


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## Bear987 (May 13, 2012)

Hunny Bunny said:


> Why not just give in? (speaking to myself only)


Give in to what or whom? I am asking b/c sometimes I feel like giving in. I then discover that I don't know what that entails. Do I quit my job? Do I stop eating? What constitutes proper giving up?


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