# I'm in love with her and don't know what to do.



## lirulin (Apr 16, 2010)

The friendship is aleady screwed up and awkward. She just doesn't know it yet. You're certainly not happy with it.

If you tell her and get rejected, you will be the hurt party, and your feelings will be the ones that will need to be spared. There will be some awkardness hanging out with a guy you just rejected, but nothinig compared with your just _being _rejected. _You _will want space at the beginning. If you can come back after that, chances are, she'll be there. Any further awkwardness would be you being a twerp about it, refusing to take no for an answer, acting mopey, and generally making her uncomfortable, and if you value the friendship enough, you can control that, avoid it. The awkwardness is not some inevitable thing that comes from nowhere. Most of it rides on your actions and your feelings after the fact.

It's fear that's stopping you, not the friendship. At least be honest with yourself. It's never about saving the friendship.

If you don't tell her...if you are like most guys, you'll get passive-aggressive and start feeling entitled to her, as if you "deserve" her after"putting up" with all her confidences and being there for her all that time - as if that was not a friendship, but work, a task wherein you proved yourself. It happens all the time. You could quite conceivably end up blaming and even hating her, resentful, bitter, the bad experiences at the end of the friendship ruining the memory of the rest. It's a common theme.

At the very least set boundaries. Don't talk about her relationships, for instance, if it bothers you. Even if you don't want to tell her why, she might start to guess, have time to think about it, and even like the idea.


----------

