# Problem with friends, or rather lack thereof



## bluekitdon (Dec 19, 2012)

Earth Goddess said:


> lol This is actually funny in a sad way because it makes me realize how pathetic my circle of people is, friends and family both. All my friends either quit talking to me or moved to other states, except the one that I still hang out with but all of our old friends quit talking to both of us, they were never really my friends anyway, they were his friends who wouldn't ever hang out with me without him. And my family has no friends, my parents are retired and don't even talk to their old friends anymore, and my brothers friends, well they barely see him anymore because everyone is married with kids now. Literally everyone I know, the few of them there are, only know each other. We're real isolated and that's why I try to find people online because I need to know OTHER people, not just my family and one remaining friend who treats me like crap anyway.


Then maybe you've answered your own question. Unless you're prepared to move, online friendships may be the way to go for awhile.


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## Zen Lizard (Dec 28, 2013)

Earth Goddess said:


> I don't follow a religion, I just consider myself spiritual. I am a member of a few spiritual groups on Meetup but as is the case with all of them, they're too far away or they only meet when I'm working or sleeping. There isn't much to pick from in my area on weekend evenings, hell even stores are closed, lol The only thing I can go to after 8pm is Walmart or the gas station. Well there's a casino nearby but I've already lost too much money there.


I'd suggest looking into visiting a Unitarian Universalist Church. It's full of spiritual but non religious types, each local church with a different mix of people and backgrounds. We have services that draw from different world religions, native traditions, and humanist inspiration. I've found most of my friends I currently interact with in the last 10 years while I've been attending my local UU church. Our members are a kind and eclectic bunch *AND* it's something you can do on the weekend! We also have meetups, brunches, other weekend activities in the evening, so usually there's a range of social and spiritual opportunities.

Local UU church finder: Find a Congregation | UUA.org


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## Earth Goddess (Aug 7, 2013)

Zen Lizard said:


> I'd suggest looking into visiting a Unitarian Universalist Church. It's full of spiritual but non religious types, each local church with a different mix of people and backgrounds. We have services that draw from different world religions, native traditions, and humanist inspiration. I've found most of my friends I currently interact with in the last 10 years while I've been attending my local UU church. Our members are a kind and eclectic bunch *AND* it's something you can do on the weekend! We also have meetups, brunches, other weekend activities in the evening, so usually there's a range of social and spiritual opportunities.
> 
> Local UU church finder: Find a Congregation | UUA.org


I checked it out, there is one about an hour from here...typical. That might work though, if they have gatherings closer to my area. I'll never be able to make their Sunday morning church services though, lol


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## Feral sheep (May 13, 2011)

It sounds dumb but dogs are great companions who give lots. I used to feel lonely but my dog has really helped me through the worst. You cant go wrong with 4 legged friend


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## Jordgubb (Oct 5, 2013)

Earth Goddess said:


> I'm really trying...it isn't a matter of finding a group to join, I'm actually in a ton of groups, but they all meet during the week when I'm working or during the day when I'm sleeping, or they are too far away...I'm an hour and a half from any major city where people have meetups.


So it's more of a time issue. 
That would be frustrating.


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## Earth Goddess (Aug 7, 2013)

Feral sheep said:


> It sounds dumb but dogs are great companions who give lots. I used to feel lonely but my dog has really helped me through the worst. You cant go wrong with 4 legged friend


I can't afford to have a pet, or I would have a cat (I hate dogs, lol) But an animal can't have deep philosophical conversations with you, lol That's what makes me feel lonely, when I can't do that with somebody/something.


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## Earth Goddess (Aug 7, 2013)

Liz Lemon said:


> So it's more of a time issue.
> That would be frustrating.


Mostly time, yeah...I'm already limited the way it is with my sleep disorder, I usually can't get anywhere before 3 or 4 in the afternoon, and that's in town, if I want to drive to a big city I'd have to add an hour onto that. And I'm limited to only weekends. I don't know why people schedule things for during the week, people with families have to cook dinner, get kids to bed on time...even people without kids usually work M-F, it's much easier to do things when you have an entire free day as opposed to doing things after work when you've already been at work for 8 or more hours. I just don't get it. These groups would have hundreds more active members if they would schedule things for weekends.


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## Feral sheep (May 13, 2011)

Earth Goddess said:


> I can't afford to have a pet, or I would have a cat (I hate dogs, lol) But an animal can't have deep philosophical conversations with you, lol That's what makes me feel lonely, when I can't do that with somebody/something.


 yea you cant have discussions but they ease lonliness an help you meet people. I hope you find something that opens more avenues for you


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## Jordgubb (Oct 5, 2013)

Earth Goddess said:


> Mostly time, yeah...I'm already limited the way it is with my sleep disorder, I usually can't get anywhere before 3 or 4 in the afternoon, and that's in town, if I want to drive to a big city I'd have to add an hour onto that. And I'm limited to only weekends. I don't know why people schedule things for during the week, people with families have to cook dinner, get kids to bed on time...even people without kids usually work M-F, it's much easier to do things when you have an entire free day as opposed to doing things after work when you've already been at work for 8 or more hours. I just don't get it. These groups would have hundreds more active members if they would schedule things for weekends.


Hmmm... Maybe you could try and start one? If you contacted a group asking to start one on the weekend....
It's a possible solution. Don't give up!


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## Earth Goddess (Aug 7, 2013)

Liz Lemon said:


> Hmmm... Maybe you could try and start one? If you contacted a group asking to start one on the weekend....
> It's a possible solution. Don't give up!


That's what someone else suggested too but I can't afford it, there is a monthly fee, like you have to pay every month that you are the organizer of a group.


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## karibaby (Dec 31, 2013)

It sounds like you live in an area that isn't very conducive to what you want. If you lived closer to a populous city it would definitely be easier to find people who are interested in meeting up. If this is a really big want or necessity for you you could consider moving to a more populated area or going the distance (driving the 1 or 1+ hrs every now and again to meetup with people) Also if this is really important to you(which it sounds like finding friends is) then you'll find a way. For me I don't really live close to my friends and don't have a car so I take the limited public transportation that my city has every now and again to hang out with my friends. Just went last Wednesday and it was totally worth it to see them and catch up. It takes about 1hr on the bus to get there so 2hrs roundtrip but I know know it's worth it to me. I really hope you find a way to make it happen for you.


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## Earth Goddess (Aug 7, 2013)

karibaby said:


> It sounds like you live in an area that isn't very conducive to what you want. If you lived closer to a populous city it would definitely be easier to find people who are interested in meeting up. If this is a really big want or necessity for you you could consider moving to a more populated area or going the distance (driving the 1 or 1+ hrs every now and again to meetup with people) Also if this is really important to you(which it sounds like finding friends is) then you'll find a way. For me I don't really live close to my friends and don't have a car so I take the limited public transportation that my city has every now and again to hang out with my friends. Just went last Wednesday and it was totally worth it to see them and catch up. It takes about 1hr on the bus to get there so 2hrs roundtrip but I know know it's worth it to me. I really hope you find a way to make it happen for you.


I was forced to move here because I can't afford to live closer to the populated areas. I mean the rent is literally hundreds of dollars less here. I was living with my mom for 5 years and depressed as hell because of it, and realized the only place I can afford to live on my own is here, because it's so far from anything else. I have no problem driving an hour or two though, the times are just never late enough. Yes I want friends but I need adequate sleep even more, it's not safe driving when you're sleep deprived.


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## Jabbytoe69 (Dec 6, 2015)

Making friends is more difficult in later years he'll I'm 22 and find it hard some people can't take me loo


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## karibaby (Dec 31, 2013)

the only other thing I can think of is if you get to know your neighbors or have people over to your place because that would be more convenient for you.


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## Earth Goddess (Aug 7, 2013)

karibaby said:


> the only other thing I can think of is if you get to know your neighbors or have people over to your place because that would be more convenient for you.


I have met both my neighbors on either side and I don't like them, lol Nobody likes the family on one side, not even the park caretaker. They're your typical trailer trash family, I had 2 interactions with them and neither were good. On the other side is a creepy guy who I want to stay away from, his wifi password is DD-69 (think about it long enough and you'll figure it out, lol) and even if he was younger and cool, his hours are totally opposite of mine, the only time he's around is evenings when I'm working, and he goes to bed at like 9pm and I go to bed when he gets up. Thank God or he'd be over here staring at my chest all the time.


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## karibaby (Dec 31, 2013)

Jabbytoe69 said:


> Making friends is more difficult in later years he'll I'm 22 and find it hard some people can't take me loo


are you going to school ,working,extracurricular,hobbies?? Those are places to meet people. You don't have to love eveything about a person for them to be your friend. 22 is a really young age to say it's difficult to find friends. You have to put yourself out there and talk to people not expect people to just come up to you and talk.


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