# scared, sick of it, worried-my male roommate



## sleepingnereid (Oct 31, 2014)

My roommate has stared at me for hours on end, blatently staring at my computer screen and spying on me...masterbated in front of me while staring at me in the middle of conversations, acts sort of retarded and perverted. Kept trying to date me while makeing it clear he has some young blonde girlfreind...but he pays have the rent so i've tried really hard to just deal with it.

anyways, i started dreaming he stabbed me (he has two huge, non cooking knives). He insinuated the other day that he had been trying to harm me while living here and that he had killed someone in the past. (this after telling me he was religious and sensative?) anyway i told him he's acting psychotic and asked him if he really wanted to keep staying here the other day and he left for two days and a night.

Now hes calling nonstop, which means he took the last bus here. I TOLD him to never do that because I am not always home and he hasn't made his key copy and doesn't have one, obviously also, I just am scared to be alone with him. I'm pregant as well and there the father has decided to suddenly ditch me so I really don't have anyone to call (moved to a new town). My roommate is passive aggressivve and rude...we have never dated, kissed or hugged so, idk, he acts jealous which makes NO sense. I DO NOT want him here but he will say he's too broke to leave and I cannot afford to cab him back! I'm a little scared to sit here all night while he calls for an hour and then pitches a psycho fit on the porch but, he knows whats going on, he took the last bus here on purpose!


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## stiletto (Oct 26, 2013)

*Get out. Now.* You have a baby on the way and first and foremost your physical and mental safety is the most important.

You are resourceful and will find a way. Even if you have to inconvenience yourself and others a little in the short term (crash on at someone's house, ask for financial help to stay at a motel for a few days, go to a women's shelter). Pack your essential belongings and GTFO.

It is one things from someone to be a little eccentric or weird, even slightly odd and creepy, but from what you posted, I see a TON of red flags. I'm surprised you haven't called the cops. wtf?

Secondly (and less important), I don't understand why you have to cab him back? You are roommates? Who owns the place? Who pays rent? WHY are you roommates in the first place? There is always a solution.


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## sleepingnereid (Oct 31, 2014)

@stiletto
We were fast friends and I really needed a roommate. Thankfully after all the calls he has not shown up! But yes I'm going to have to do just that when the rent is due here. I agree it is scary, financials were a big thing though especially when the morning sickness was the most severe. I am resolved to not live with him anymore, you're right. Thanks


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## Jonn (Mar 17, 2014)

Sociopaths, psychopaths are a perfect fit here, but YOU don't want a part of the fun with them, trust me on this one.
Stiletto seems to have pretty much all the same I'd say. GTFO. Do it quick and do it good. Don't care about the money, the other luxury, the essential fears of not having anything to return to. You'll get that and you'll find a way trust me. as long as you gtfo this guy you'll probably be safe enough.


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## BroNerd (Nov 27, 2010)

sleepingnereid said:


> My roommate has stared at me for hours on end, blatently staring at my computer screen and spying on me...masterbated in front of me while staring at me in the middle of conversations, acts sort of retarded and perverted. Kept trying to date me while makeing it clear he has some young blonde girlfreind...but he pays have the rent so i've tried really hard to just deal with it.
> 
> anyways, i started dreaming he stabbed me (he has two huge, non cooking knives). He insinuated the other day that he had been trying to harm me while living here and that he had killed someone in the past. (this after telling me he was religious and sensative?) anyway i told him he's acting psychotic and asked him if he really wanted to keep staying here the other day and he left for two days and a night.
> 
> Now hes calling nonstop, which means he took the last bus here. I TOLD him to never do that because I am not always home and he hasn't made his key copy and doesn't have one, obviously also, I just am scared to be alone with him. I'm pregant as well and there the father has decided to suddenly ditch me so I really don't have anyone to call (moved to a new town). My roommate is passive aggressivve and rude...we have never dated, kissed or hugged so, idk, he acts jealous which makes NO sense. I DO NOT want him here but he will say he's too broke to leave and I cannot afford to cab him back! I'm a little scared to sit here all night while he calls for an hour and then pitches a psycho fit on the porch but, he knows whats going on, he took the last bus here on purpose!


Get out. This guy is trouble.


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## EbonyTigger (Apr 13, 2012)

I agree with everyone else - get out of there now. Do you have any family or anyone you can move into temporarily while you sort yourself out with a new place?


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## sleepingnereid (Oct 31, 2014)

@MakuYuen
I am staying til the lease is up, he didn't show up afterall and I have a phone and sharp knife. IDK, i have to take it a little less seriously because this is more common in my life than for most people. I have somewhere to go, but it's possibly worse so its a rock and hard place.


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## sleepingnereid (Oct 31, 2014)

@BroNerd &


CosmicJoke said:


> I agree with everyone else - get out of there now. Do you have any family or anyone you can move into temporarily while you sort yourself out with a new place?


I have somewhere to go that is quite possibly worse, so its a toss up, he didn't show up so i think thats a good sign. I am going to try to stay until the lease is up which is only fifteen days. I am taking it all more seriously now and will not leave the place without my phone and Knife though...TY, I guess you get used to wierdos and forget that it really could be seriously dangerous.


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## FearAndTrembling (Jun 5, 2013)

I am sure that is some kind of harassment, and he could be arrested. I think he sounds dangerous. Call the cops, or some tip line about sexual abuse, and tell them that story.


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## stiletto (Oct 26, 2013)

sleepingnereid said:


> @_BroNerd_ &
> 
> I have somewhere to go that is quite possibly worse, so its a toss up, he didn't show up so i think thats a good sign. I am going to try to stay until the lease is up which is only fifteen days. I am taking it all more seriously now and will not leave the place without my phone and Knife though...TY, I guess you get used to wierdos and forget that it really could be seriously dangerous.


When is the lease up? I don't think you should stay regardless of whether he is there or not.

I can understand you being in between a rock and a hard place. But don't wait for the drama to come to you. Though you may feel like it's common place, I would still err on the side of caution since you have another to think for now. It's not about just YOUR safety.

Leave the place, empty. Go somewhere else. Find another place, anywhere. If you don't FEEL safe and you need a weapon to defend yourself, how do you think that emotional state affects the development of the baby? Secondly, do you really think a knife will protect you? Take preventative measures.

I grew up in a rough neighbourhood. It doesn't mean a single thing to try and take the risk to "tough it out" when you are ACTUALLY in a life threatening situation. Save the drama, save the risk, get your stuff and go.


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## sleepingnereid (Oct 31, 2014)

FearAndTrembling said:


> I am sure that is some kind of harassment, and he could be arrested. I think he sounds dangerous. Call the cops, or some tip line about sexual abuse, and tell them that story.





stiletto said:


> When is the lease up? I don't think you should stay regardless of whether he is there or not.
> 
> I can understand you being in between a rock and a hard place. But don't wait for the drama to come to you. Though you may feel like it's common place, I would still err on the side of caution since you have another to think for now. It's not about just YOUR safety.
> 
> ...


I think calling the cops would likely just piss him off, besides, I'm not sure he _is _dangerous, it just seems likely...
It's only fifteen days.


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## EbonyTigger (Apr 13, 2012)

You do need to get out of there, you don't want to run the risk of him doing anything to you.


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## B00Bz (Jul 11, 2013)

Call the cops and get a restraining order.


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## Glassland (Apr 19, 2014)

Sounds like a psychopath to me. Those people have no morals or conscience. Get out or far worse than already happened may happen to you.


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## FearAndTrembling (Jun 5, 2013)

sleepingnereid said:


> I think calling the cops would likely just piss him off, besides, I'm not sure he _is _dangerous, it just seems likely...
> It's only fifteen days.


Better safe than sorry. Nobody is sure of anything. Just go somewhere. Anybody I know would say the same thing.


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## dragthewaters (Feb 9, 2013)

@sleepingnereid

Do you think maybe you could go to a women's shelter? It's not the typical abuse situation, but he is definitely dangerous and potentially violent, and you are pregnant, so they would probably admit you also if you have no other options.


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## Tezcatlipoca (Jun 6, 2014)

Jesus wtf. Yes, get out


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## ForestPaix (Aug 30, 2014)

Pretty sure he's a psychopath. Grab your bags, and do a runner. If he tries masturbating in front of you, you can probably claim sexual harassment. 
My friend had an internet relationship with a guy kinda like this, he went to great lengths to show evidence of killing people to her etc, and would hurt himself in front of her on Skype, the sick bastard.


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## DasPhillipBrau (Apr 2, 2010)

sleepingnereid said:


> @_MakuYuen_
> I am staying til the lease is up, he didn't show up afterall and I have a phone and sharp knife. IDK, i have to take it a little less seriously because this is more common in my life than for most people. I have somewhere to go, but it's possibly worse so its a rock and hard place.





sleepingnereid said:


> @_BroNerd_ &
> 
> I have somewhere to go that is quite possibly worse, so its a toss up, he didn't show up so i think thats a good sign. I am going to try to stay until the lease is up which is only fifteen days. I am taking it all more seriously now and will not leave the place without my phone and Knife though...TY, I guess you get used to wierdos and forget that it really could be seriously dangerous.


OK, I'm gonna give a very important advice nobody here seemed to give you after posting this.

I think I'm one of the few people in PerC who is somewhat well versed in self-defense.
*
Do not take that knife out ever, *you are*not* willing to use that knife, I am sure of it, a knife should never be used to threaten someone unless you're 1- willing to use it. 2- trained to use it. Especially if you're a woman. This is not a matter of sexism, it's simple biology, men have over twice as much upper body strenght than women, he could easily overpower you if you try to defend yourself and hurt you badly or kill you. And you're not at your physical prime since you're pregnant so thats a lot of cards against you. Knives are NOT a good self defense weapon for women (or hell, anyone, knives should only be seen as lethal weapons), I suggest you to buy a taser, stun rod or pepper spray.

If your roomate IS a psychopath (and it sounds like he is) and he comes to provoke you and you pull your knife out to try and scare him, you might actually do the opposite: piss him off, and then I'm sorry but you'll be in trouble. Do not ever show a knife to an assailant, it's meant to be a concealed weapon, not a deterrent, and for that reason, if you're not willing to stab a person and possibly kill him or cripple him for life, don't carry a knife with you.

Knives and guns are lethal weapons, you're not supposed to take them out unless you're *really* going to use them if things get sour. Tasers, pepper sprays and stun rods are much better because they are non-lethal alternatives which barely need any action from the user, they do the job by themselves. Even a blackjack is a bad deterrent weapon because most people simply cant bring themselves to hit hard enough with them, even if they're in danger, so they just end up pissing the attacker more.

I'm honestly not trying to scare you, I'm stating the truth, these things are scary as shit, but they're real, you got to be prepared for stuff like this. Like people here said: Move out ASAP and be done with that guy, and don't be afraid to call the cops, you're a pregnant woman and he is an extremely creepy guy, trust me, cops wont be mad at you even if nothing happened. Especially if you tell them what the guy has been doing.


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## sleepingnereid (Oct 31, 2014)

DasPhillipBrau said:


> OK, I'm gonna give a very important advice nobody here seemed to give you after posting this.
> 
> I think I'm one of the few people in PerC who is somewhat well versed in self-defense.
> *
> ...


Ironically, the last time i did try to use it that is kinda what happened. Well it was someone else but he just grabbed it out of my hand, fortunately he didnt' do anything to me afterwards though. I think you're right, I think in my own mind ''i'll do it", but i didn't last time I was tried. I think I will get a stun gun,my old one broke. He doesn't live here now and has mostly been staying away so its going better.

Unfortunately, about moving out...there's not much else in my price range, and I have very few other contacts for roommates. I am about to start a new job so hopefully I wont have to have one but at the same time I want a kitchen (efficiency now).

Reality! not always my specialty 

Edit:Ironically my ex warned me about this guy but he did so right after becomming quite aggressive to the point where the cops came so I thought "you jealous psycho...lying"

Thanks


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## Doc Dangerstein (Mar 8, 2013)

Women's shelter! Find one!

... what DasPhillipBrau said about the knife. And legal consequences depending where you're from.


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## xisnotx (Mar 20, 2014)

i don't even know what is wrong with people anymore...
people busy telling me i have problems...
yet somehow i have the sense not to find myself in this type of situation..
you need to leave op. like yesterday. first of all, you can have him arrested for sex crimes...
call the cops.
half the rent? really, women, is money so important to you that you'll tolerate this garbage from men?
but then again, i live in a world where hugh heffner can exist..so i don't even know why i'm surprised.


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## DasPhillipBrau (Apr 2, 2010)

sleepingnereid said:


> Ironically, the last time i did try to use it that is kinda what happened. Well it was someone else but he just grabbed it out of my hand, fortunately he didnt' do anything to me afterwards though. I think you're right, I think in my own mind ''i'll do it", but i didn't last time I was tried. I think I will get a stun gun,my old one broke. He doesn't live here now and has mostly been staying away so its going better.
> 
> Unfortunately, about moving out...there's not much else in my price range, and I have very few other contacts for roommates. I am about to start a new job so hopefully I wont have to have one but at the same time I want a kitchen (efficiency now).
> 
> ...


Yes, most people think it will be easy to do something like that, but when it happens they see it's not. Good thing nothing happened to you! a knife is no game. if you could get a taser, that'd be great, since there is just no way someone will be able to take it from your hands.

By the way may I ask...if he was paying the rent, what were you getting of the agreement? And you say that he doesnt live at your place anymore? Like did he already packed his things and left?


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## sleepingnereid (Oct 31, 2014)

DasPhillipBrau said:


> Yes, most people think it will be easy to do something like that, but when it happens they see it's not. Good thing nothing happened to you! a knife is no game. if you could get a taser, that'd be great, since there is just no way someone will be able to take it from your hands.
> 
> By the way may I ask...if he was paying the rent, what were you getting of the agreement? And you say that he doesnt live at your place anymore? Like did he already packed his things and left?


Well last time i just told this person to leave or else and had it out cause he had gotten...too aggressive. That was my exboyfriend though not my current roommate, ironically he was saying the guy whos my roommate now was trying to rape me and is a P.O.S., but at that point my soon to be roommate was acting fine! Anyway it got ugly violent between them.

He was only paying half of the rent and thats what I got out of it, hmm. Yes he moved out, he doesn't have many things here really and has a storage unit. We had only been here like 2 months. He still comes over occaisionally since he paid for the month but I try to really keep it at a minimum. He has another place he can stay and always did so..


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## sleepingnereid (Oct 31, 2014)

CosmicJoke said:


> I agree with everyone else - get out of there now. Do you have any family or anyone you can move into temporarily while you sort yourself out with a new place?





CosmicJoke said:


> You do need to get out of there, you don't want to run the risk of him doing anything to you.





B00Bz said:


> Call the cops and get a restraining order.





Glassland said:


> Sounds like a psychopath to me. Those people have no morals or conscience. Get out or far worse than already happened may happen to you.





FearAndTrembling said:


> Better safe than sorry. Nobody is sure of anything. Just go somewhere. Anybody I know would say the same thing.





thismustbetheplace said:


> @sleepingnereid
> 
> Do you think maybe you could go to a women's shelter? It's not the typical abuse situation, but he is definitely dangerous and potentially violent, and you are pregnant, so they would probably admit you also if you have no other options.





Tezcatlipoca said:


> Jesus wtf. Yes, get out





ForestPaix said:


> Pretty sure he's a psychopath. Grab your bags, and do a runner. If he tries masturbating in front of you, you can probably claim sexual harassment.
> My friend had an internet relationship with a guy kinda like this, he went to great lengths to show evidence of killing people to her etc, and would hurt himself in front of her on Skype, the sick bastard.





Spastic Origami said:


> Women's shelter! Find one!
> 
> ... what DasPhillipBrau said about the knife. And legal consequences depending where you're from.





xisnotx said:


> i don't even know what is wrong with people anymore...
> people busy telling me i have problems...
> yet somehow i have the sense not to find myself in this type of situation..
> you need to leave op. like yesterday. first of all, you can have him arrested for sex crimes...
> ...


Thank you all for your concern and I really mostly agree but the truth is I do not have _*ANYWHERE *_else I can go, nada...except one place that is actually VERY likely to be worse. So I do have to handle it myself and the cop situation is well, I don't need the first thing I do in a new town to make enemies...also he is helpful and right now I just don't need an enemy. Once I get a stable income again things will be a little different.


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## DasPhillipBrau (Apr 2, 2010)

sleepingnereid said:


> Well last time i just told this person to leave or else and had it out cause he had gotten...too aggressive. That was my exboyfriend though not my current roommate, ironically he was saying the guy whos my roommate now was trying to rape me and is a P.O.S., but at that point my soon to be roommate was acting fine! Anyway it got ugly violent between them.
> 
> He was only paying half of the rent and thats what I got out of it, hmm. Yes he moved out, he doesn't have many things here really and has a storage unit. We had only been here like 2 months. He still comes over occaisionally since he paid for the month but I try to really keep it at a minimum. He has another place he can stay and always did so..


Good, just wait for the month to pass and then have somebody change your locks. Look for a new roommate. Preferibly a female one.


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