# 'Acting strange' friend



## Herp (Nov 25, 2010)

Well, hi.

I have a fairly large group of friends. At least in introvert terms. We used to hang around in this group of 8 every single weekend, when we played a card game, Magic the gathering, around with them.

It is a nerdy thing to do in our weekends, but that's what we did it. But the thing is, some of our friends have taken the game way too seriously, and it was starting to become a problem for me to hang out with them without having the game involved.

So, I started taking some steps to making our hangouts more interesting. I developed new hobbies and incentivated other friends to do the same. I, for instance, learned to cook, and every time we meet, I make a meal for them.

Another friend started to dance, and every time he comes to see us, she brings a Wii dancing game for us to join her. So, pretty much everyone got into new hobbies.

Except this one guy. He has been brought in a somewhat spoiled way, and doesn't eat some kind of foods. Actually, he doesn't eat a lot of food, rather sticking to more 'junky' food, such as burguers and pizzas. And he also doesn't enjoy loud music and dancing, so when we put the dancing game on, he's the only one not to enjoy it.

So, whenever we call him to hang out with us now, he just stays put in a corner, doing his thing until he claims to be tired and goes home. While I understand where he's coming from (I believe he may be an INTP), we all enjoy his company and do not wish to stop calling him to our hangouts.

Recently, he's acting really strange. He hasn't been as chatty as he used to be, and he has been into some really obscure subjects, such as psychotic minds and murder profiles. He has also been around with some obviously intented facebook statuses, such as 'I'd rather keep my mouth shut forever than talking to idiots'.

And it seems like he's starting to lose his grip on life. I feel like I'm losing the person I met. He's starting to act unhealthy.

What can we do in order to bring this friend closer to us again?


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

Sounds like there are underlying reasons to his losing grip with his own life. I wonder if he may be in a combination of financial and major life stressors he could be going through and possibly not having a sound support system at home. Idk, wild guess.

If he's disconnected and games such as Wii dancing games isn't doing it for him, it's probably because that's not his forte. If I were in a depressed state of mind or withdrawing from friends and am hanging out with them the last thing I'd want to do is to dance to Wii. 

Engage him in other ways. Having a heart to heart honest discussion with him might help not only in reminding him that you are there for him but allowing him to slowly reconnect somehow through that trust that you show through your genuineness. It's okay to talk about feelings, and maybe he just needs someone to hear him out instead of him zoning out.. Sometimes it's the simple gesture of making that connection and him feeling heard that makes a huge difference.


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## RepairmanMan Man (Jan 21, 2012)

Is anything happening in his life right now that would be bringing this out?

If you can't identify any reason for the sudden change, you should be aware that schizophrenia can develop this way, with the sufferer suddenly changing his/her habits, thinking "private" thoughts, even neglecting hygiene. He doesn't have a family history, does he? Not to imply your friend is schizo, but this sounds potentially bad.

If not, like I said, he may just be going through a rough spot and needs to withdraw--you know him best.


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## Herp (Nov 25, 2010)

I'm going to gather my friends tomorrow. We all hadn't have the time to see each other this week.

I'm thinking about bringing a bit of his comfort zone back. Taking some of the old activities again, so he can feel a bit more comfortable to talk again. I'm afraid that we may have changed our routine way too fast for him. As far as I know, things seem to be normal in his household, but I hadn't asked him directly.

One of our friends in common told me that he isn't really good with change. And I feel a bit selfish about the way I have taken measures to change the routine of our group. I tried to do that for their good - I mean, everyone takes their lives as they please, but I thought that we could do some activities other than burrowing ourselves in a friend's house to play card games for our whole adult lives.

But not everyone handles change very well, so I'm trying to conciliate the needs of everyone so we all have a good time when we meet.

Thanks for the answers so far.


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