# My Experience as an INTP 5w4 Sx/Sp



## AddeyRouben

Hello everyone. I've been studying Jungian typology for a few years now, as well as the enneagram. I've reached a point I can type most people I meet within minutes of conversing with them. This has become involuntary, and sometimes annoying, haha (when I can feel my brain processing in the background until it spits out a person's personality code).
Anyway I decided it was full time I joined a forum. I'll be mostly sharing my experiences, ideas, and theories, however strange they may be, mainly to test my ideas and for feedback (I have one theory on how each MBTI type can 'magically' get what they want out of life, based upon personal and observable experience).

About me
I am a musician and producer, and released an album earlier this year, so if you're interested in what music by an INTP musician sounds like then let me know. I write poetry as well.

Why do I know I'm an INTP 5w4 Sx/Sp?
First time I did the test in college (10 years ago) I got something that had an N, a T, and a P. That is what I remember. I also remember words like "engineer" and "architect" in the discription. Before going to college, my life seemed geared toward the field of engineering, since my best subjects were engineering subjects. But my "favourite" subjects were artistic (art, music, drawing, writing). I went to college to study music, and now find myself more on the engineering, editing, and organising side of things (production). 
Since then I've had results from tests that says I'm an INFP, INFJ, and ENTP. It wasn't until an ENTJ girl I was dating texted me that I was INTP the night after our first date (she had been analyzing me the whole night) that I got super interested in studying MBTI indept, and hence finalizing what my type was after a couple years. 
My mother is an INFP, so I think some of her INFP-ness had rubbed off on me. I think INFJ and ENTP results come from my sx dominant instinct variant. A lot of times I seem very extroverted and goofy, and very involved in the lives of others. I'll do things like stop a random woman on the road to tell her how beautiful she is and be very charming about it (usually I'm not trying to pick her up, just having fun, but it "accidentally" becomes a pick-up sometimes.) Because I'm a Ti dominant and Fe inferior, I was very awkward at it when younger, but not so much anymore, maybe experience. 
I realised this "reaching out to others" is my desire for connection (sx), as well as a desire to connect with my more 'intimate' function (being in the lowest position), Fe. It hurt very much when I was younger and socially awkward. I wanted very much to socialise because when I did it right it gave me an exhilirating feeling, yet it was also draining. Regularly trying to engage that function may make me seem INFJish or ENTPish since Fe is the 'tertiary temptation' of ENTP and auxiliary function of INFJ. Over time I've learned, and still am learning, to use Fe in its 'correct position', which for an INTP seems very mystical, because I can form accurate feeling judgements of people and situations that others, ever my ESFJ sister, would miss. I also find myself looking at people and knowing exactly what they want or whats troubling them, though I may not know how to express it (my default is to express it logically, but when I'm in a 'flow' it expresses itself through non-verbal communcation or just the choice of words I use in the moment. Or I may say something that helps them "rationalise" an issue). 
When I was younger I spent a tremendous amount of energy seeking and holding on to lovers. It was my whole life. When I was with someone it was a total connection, I would get inside her head, and she would feel me there. I eventually grew pass it when one night, lying under the stars with a girl who I believe is an Sx dominant type as well, I realised that I couldn't experience the sense of wholeness I was seeking through the mind or body of anyone else. Soon after I became celibate and sought a spiritual connection with the universe instead. I used yoga, meditation, dream work, active imagination, shamanism, etc. But after a couple years of that I came to the same realisation I did with my lover at the time: that the occasional "spiritual orgasms" I experienced through these practices were not going to give me that lasting feeling of oneness. I was looking all in the wrong directions, which was outside of myself.
Since that realisation I try to just focus on "living", while also being somewhat mindlessly mindful of it, doing what I need to do everyday to live.


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## Mr. CafeBot

*You are hearing a robotic sounding voice coming towards you*



Greetings AddeyRouben and welcome to PersonalityCafe!! My name is Mr. CafeBot. I am here to personally greet you and thank you for joining our humble little forum. No matter your type, you will surely experience a wonderful time with the members of this forum. We cater to all personality types so you will never feel alone or weird. Truth is this forum is full of weirdos!! Pleazeee hel.... *Ahem*I mean we have the nicest people you will ever meet. 

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## Eset

@AddeyRouben

Hello friendly INTP.


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## 23velyn

First post here. Just wanna chime in and thank you for sharing your experience and feelings which ring familiar to mine. I'm an INTP 5w4 sx/sp too and, curiously, came to a similar conclusion as yours lately: I'd been looking at all the wrong directions, outside of myself. Even though I don't know you, it feels good to know that I'm not alone. And I bet you know what I mean.


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## JordanAshwin

I am one too


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## tanstaafl28

JordanAshwin said:


> I am one too


FYI, this is an older post, from Dec 21, 2016. The OP hasn't been around since 2019.


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## Erik PLAYERik

[I consider myself an INTP 4w5 (or 5w4) 485 (or 584) (5w4, 8w9, 4w3) Sx / Sp.] 

Hi. It took me a long time to figure out if I was an INTP or an INFP. 
From the beginning, the INTP suited me the most, but I was pissed off by all the threads about how INTPs are not weak in Fe and that they are not overwhelmingly emotional. 
However, I know that only the INTP suits me. 
If we ignore the issue of Fi functions such as values, feelings and emotions, I do not see Fi in myself. But I am very emotional, emotional and I have values, I would say even tough. 
The difference, however, is that when I feel that something is good and bad, it is not enough for me. I must have a logical reason to say whether something is good or bad or neutral. 
Most things, however, are neutral. 
So I think my Fi is conscious, or my Ti is so immersed in my emotions and values that it resembles Fi. 
Nevertheless, I still require a logical explanation of everything. If I feel sad, I have to find a logical explanation for this. Why am I feeling sad? 
Is it some sort of biological program that lets me know that I am doing (or not doing) that is not in human nature. 

I like emotions (of course the positive ones) until there are too many of them. 
Unfortunately, they can be very exhausting. Whenever I feel something and feel strongly, I continue to analyze it. Does what my emotions drive me to, what they want to do make sense? I do not consider emotional people to be idiots. But why the hell do people use emotions as their shield to explain their stupid behavior? Since when does emotions turn off the brain? Feeling emotion does not entitle you to stop thinking! 
You still have to control what you are doing. 

I have always cared a lot about romantic relationships and I hate being alone, but I don't care about "social" things. 
I love love and sex, lots of sex xD. 
I am philosophical, creative and creativity is more important to me than acquiring knowledge. I am an obvious introvert, but I talk a lot when I feel comfortable and most certainly prefer to conduct monologues or say "paragraphs" rather than when interrupted. 
I am not a good listener like INFP and sometimes I have to put a lot of energy into it not to accidentally fly away my thoughts. 
I don't know much about the enneagram, but I think I am: 
INTP "4w5" Sx / Sp 
In test i am one time 4 one time 5. In tritype test i am one time 584, one time 485 (5w4 8w9 4w3) 
So i guess i can be 5w4 with very strong wing, or 4w5. 
Nevertheless ... as I said, I am more concerned with creativity, self-expression and a lifetime romantic relationship than learning. 
Of course, I don't see any reason why I should choose, I do both. 
I am a walking paradox and I feel like switching between being INTP, INFP, ENTP. 
Most of the time, however, I am in INTP mode. 
Most of the time I am very mobile in thought, I like to move forward with my projects. Nevertheless, I work on them in my head and I often have problems with implementation, especially when new ideas come to mind, they almost always draw me more than the previous ones. 
That's why I learned that I can't spend so much time refining ideas in my head before realizing it. 
Nevertheless ... I am still doing it and I have lost a lot of ideas. I often don't have the energy to do it all. 
I definitely prefer a project that can be completed in one day and I prefer to do a project 12 hours at a time than do it every day 2 hours. 

For those who might think I'm an ENTP. I have always been introverted, I can talk about what needs to be done etc. but I prefer to work alone. 
People beat me off the beat. 
I am not the initiator type and I do not accost strangers in the street. 
I would feel weird about that. 
Nevertheless, when there is a suitable place, circumstances, pretext or opportunity to initiate contact, I try to break through my barriers and do it. 
I don't understand why people associate Sx with extraversion. 
I see So as an extroversion, not 
Sx, which is about 1: 1 contacts. 1: 1 is still an introversion. 
1: 2+ is extroversion. 
Surely my goals in life are: 
1. Find love for life until death. Build a healthy relationship where we both feel great. 
2. Start earning money and live off my creativity. 

I've always been a walking paradox. I feel a great need for independence, I like to spend a lot of time on my creativity and solitude to think a lot. 
My speaking behavior is rather expressive. 
I may not notice subtle changes in human emotions, but I recognize the emotions themselves based on patterns, understand them, and try to provide emotional support when someone needs it. 
And just waiting for someone to cry and then I can finally give the person advice or a list of possible potential options to solve the problem. 
I've struggled with my neuroticism for a long time, but I'm getting better and better.

I don't understand why "T" should exclude "F". It doesn't make sense to me. In absolutely every MBTI test 
I am with T / F in the area of 50%. 
Big Five "agreeableness" 50%. 
Enneagram 4 and 5: 50/50. 
I've been at MBTI for a while and have devoured a ton of knowledge. 
I think the MBTI is wrong on some points and at this point I am able to predict that sooner or later a better theory will emerge. 
I am logical, analytical, emotional and creative. 
I am an emotional logician.


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