# The nuances of kissing



## Hruberen (Jan 2, 2012)

Alright I'm going to start this off by saying that i'm a new but still good kisser, but I would like to get to the point where if I kiss a girl, she'll be amazed. I want to be the best kisser the girl has ever had. I was thinking this could be a collection of tips from people on how too have a great kiss, for those of us who wish to improve ourselves.

I shall start by saying that if you know what NOT to do in a kiss, you're already half way to being amazing, so basically NO STICKING YOUR TONGUE DOWN THEIR THROATS, unless you know for a fact that they like it like that. Other than that the experience of kissing someone is still so new to me, that it's a bit demanding to focus on anything other than the fact that i'm kissing someone. So feel free to share tips and tricks!


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## Keli (Jan 12, 2012)

*Don't* get any of your canines stuck under your partner's lips because when you twist your head or close your mouth, they will NOT thank you for the sobering pain of an accidental, yet very pinching bite. It doesn't help if you're an aggressive kisser. :x Also, make sure you give her nose enough room to breathe if you are the kind of kisser that doesn't go up for air and vice versa.

Though, a more gentle way of biting the lip is very much appreciated. It's a sure way to pleasantly surprise when you do it right, not to mention that it adds to the blazing fire you both ignited. ;D How this is done is to parallel your head with your partner's and slide your upper teeth behind your partner's bottom lip, and with a slight pressure added from sucking, pull up fast enough to tug on her lip so it stretches out, but not so much that it hurts. You can also do this with your bottom teeth with her upper lip, though I find that a bit more difficult as it requires some jaw-jutting action. For best results, do it while you both are in a rhythm, hence the surprise factor.  (It's usually a very quick motion too, so don't over-think it and DO NOT overdo it either!)

Enjoy this face-nomming method!  Of course, some may not like a surprise like this, so use your best judgement on that. haha


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## Yardiff Bey (Jun 5, 2011)

Guys: *she will tend to do to you exactly what she wants done to her.
*
Got that? Remember it.

A girl will touch you the way she wants to be touched, she will tend to touch you where she wants to be touched - and she will kiss you the way she believes a kiss is supposed to be. That's exactly how she wants (and needs) to be kissed.

So pay attention to her kiss and give her exactly what she wants.

Little story: I got kissed in the street (Auckland city, actually, after a night of partying) and noticed that the girl's lips were lightly on my lower lip. So I moved *my* lips down and kissed her lower lip, gently sucking on it. Next thing: full-on massive french-kissing under the streetlights.

So pay attention to how she kisses you. That's how she wants to be kissed.

Addendum to story: next night I was out with a mate and another girl, my mate and I got to talking about the first girl. I mentioned to him that "she french-kisses like a maniac". Turns out this other girl was also into french-kissing and gave me a mind-blowing kiss about five minutes later on the street. Something turned on her competitive instincts, I think!


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## MegaTuxRacer (Sep 7, 2011)

Don't punch your partner in the lip before kissing. Your partner wil likely be covering his or her mouth in agony,thereby restricting access to his or her lips. Furthermore, your partner's lips will likely be throbbing in pain, and kissing may be a huge turn-off since any strenuous contact with their lips will likely cause greater pain due to the increased sensitivity. Lastly, for the less adventurous of you, thee will likely be blood, and that might taste yucky.


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## Hruberen (Jan 2, 2012)

Yardiff Bey said:


> Guys: *she will tend to do to you exactly what she wants done to her.
> *
> Got that? Remember it.
> 
> A girl will touch you the way she wants to be touched, she will tend to touch you where she wants to be touched - and she will kiss you the way she believes a kiss is supposed to be. That's exactly how she wants (and needs) to be kissed.


So Metro Station pretty much had it spot on?

Pretty much when I kiss I just tilt my head so that out noses don't collide and give regular kisses but with an open mouth, with quick darts of my tongue sometimes if I feel like it. I was thinking maybe about circling my thumb on her back or doing something with my hands and/or other body parts besides my mouth.


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## Yardiff Bey (Jun 5, 2011)

Hruberen said:


> So Metro Station pretty much had it spot on?
> 
> Pretty much when I kiss I just tilt my head so that out noses don't collide and give regular kisses but with an open mouth, with quick darts of my tongue sometimes if I feel like it. I was thinking maybe about circling my thumb on her back or doing something with my hands and/or other body parts besides my mouth.


What's "Metro Station"?

Hands depends, yeah. Follow her lead is best - have had good results for gently rubbing the back of her neck as well while kissing.


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## Hruberen (Jan 2, 2012)

Yardiff Bey said:


> What's "Metro Station"?
> 
> Hands depends, yeah. Follow her lead is best - have had good results for gently rubbing the back of her neck as well while kissing.


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## Miss Scarlet (Jul 26, 2010)

Yardiff Bey said:


> Guys: *she will tend to do to you exactly what she wants done to her.
> *
> !


This is very true!

Also I had no idea that guys felt pressure about kissing.


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## Hruberen (Jan 2, 2012)

Miss Scarlet said:


> This is very true!
> 
> Also I had no idea that guys felt pressure about kissing.


I don't its just would be one of the things that I would take pride in being good at, since i'm so relationship oriented.


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## sparkles (Mar 2, 2011)

There's an especially sensitive area on the tongue... You can find it by sticking your finger in your mouth, laying it loosely on your tongue. The area is on the top of the tongue a few centimeters in. You'll feel the difference by using your finger like someone's tongue. The first time I had someone kiss me in a way that used this area, I almost orgasmed JUST from the kissing. 

Haha I feel like I'm in high school telling people to practice using condoms with bananas...

But yeah, find that area, and once you get the geography down, you can really kiss well by massaging that area gently with your tongue. Make your tongue soft, not hard or pointy, when you do so. 

Also try not to slobber too much. 

Also if you're a guy, remember that women LOVE to kiss even if it isn't leading to sex! I hate it when guys stop making out unless they know they can go "all the way." I like to kiss anyway


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## Carmine Ermine (Mar 11, 2012)

Hruberen said:


> Metro Station


I am going to take that song to heart!

I've only been kissed once yet, but it was when I was dancing and a random girl came up to me and kissed... I tried to do a normal kiss back but then she was gone & I didn't see who it was. A bit of a wtf moment really.


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## sparkles (Mar 2, 2011)

Oh yeah - girls tend to love it when you cradle their face when you kiss.

But please do not use this if you only see her as a sexual person! Please save this for real emotional feeling type stuff or you could break her poor heart.


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## Hruberen (Jan 2, 2012)

sparkles said:


> Oh yeah - girls tend to love it when you cradle their face when you kiss.
> 
> But please do not use this if you only see her as a sexual person! Please save this for real emotional feeling type stuff or you could break her poor heart.


I don't think I ever see girls as a sexual outlet, so that is not an issue with me, I do kiss just to kiss.

@_Carmine Ermine_ that IS pretty random, just take it for what it is I guess and revel in the fact that some girls think you're cute enough to randomly go up and kiss.


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## Yardiff Bey (Jun 5, 2011)

Miss Scarlet said:


> This is very true!
> 
> Also I had no idea that guys felt pressure about kissing.


If the first kiss is no good, there is no second date. THAT is where the pressure comes from.
@sparkles - I will remember to try that with a certain ENFP...


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## Miss Scarlet (Jul 26, 2010)

Yardiff Bey said:


> If the first kiss is no good, there is no second date. THAT is where the pressure comes from.
> @sparkles - I will remember to try that with a certain ENFP...


That's not true I have given guys second dates with crappy first kisses.


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## Master Mind (Aug 15, 2011)

sparkles said:


> Also if you're a guy, remember that women LOVE to kiss even if it isn't leading to sex! I hate it when guys stop making out unless they know they can go "all the way." I like to kiss anyway


I like kissing in and of itself. It doesn't need to "lead" anywhere. This is one instance in which goal-oriented behavior isn't a plus.


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## sparkles (Mar 2, 2011)

Master Mind said:


> I like kissing in and of itself. It doesn't need to "lead" anywhere. This is one instance in which goal-oriented behavior isn't a plus.


In my experience, guys like you are exceptions. My usual experience has been that the guy will either want to lead to more, or if that isn't possible for some reason, now all of a sudden he doesn't want to kiss so much.

Maybe it's related to the blue balls thing. Idk.


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## Yardiff Bey (Jun 5, 2011)

sparkles said:


> Maybe it's related to the blue balls thing.


I would not be surprised in the slightest.

The guy may also have a mindset that he's by damn going to go home with *someone* that night, and if it doesn't look to be you - he'll find someone else who is more interested. If all he's interested in is getting laid - *shrug*


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## sparkles (Mar 2, 2011)

Yardiff Bey said:


> I would not be surprised in the slightest.
> 
> The guy may also have a mindset that he's by damn going to go home with *someone* that night, and if it doesn't look to be you - he'll find someone else who is more interested. If all he's interested in is getting laid - *shrug*


I don't make out in situations like that!!!! I don't make out with people I just met!!! :virtual slap:

I'm talking about in a relationship, if sex is off the table for whatever reason... IME dudes are not good at some old-fashioned making out.


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## Yardiff Bey (Jun 5, 2011)

sparkles said:


> I don't make out in situations like that!!!! I don't make out with people I just met!!! :virtual slap:
> 
> I'm talking about in a relationship, if sex is off the table for whatever reason... IME dudes are not good at some old-fashioned making out.


*eyes the virtual slap and lets it slide - this time*

In that case, blue balls. Its commonsense not to get too hot'n'horny if you know that you're not going to get a release with your girl, and that can lead to stress and shitty mood. Why go there.


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## chimeric (Oct 15, 2011)

firedell said:


> Kissing is sometimes better than sex.
> 
> Am I doing it wrong? xD



Reading this thread is hawter than reading the sex threads. :blushed:


Everyone likes something different. I enjoy when someone varies the pressure/speed. Soft, gentle, just-barely-touching kisses can be really nice. So can intense, deep, pinned-against-a-wall kisses. And mischievous bitey kisses. They're all really nice.

Oh. A big one: breath. Breath is great. Lightly breathing on someone's lips as you go in for a kiss. Or breathing by their throat/ears.

The softest part of your lips is slightly on the inside. That's a good thing to be aware of. Like...slowly, lightly dragging the inside of your lower lip across someone's neck while breathing.


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## Subtle Murder (May 19, 2012)

chimeric said:


> Reading this thread is hawter than reading the sex threads. :blushed:


I agree. This is so much more sensual.


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## SublimeSerendipity (Dec 30, 2010)

sparkles said:


> I don't make out in situations like that!!!! I don't make out with people I just met!!! :virtual slap:
> 
> I'm talking about in a relationship, if sex is off the table for whatever reason... IME dudes are not good at some old-fashioned making out.


I know what you mean Sparkles....IME it's that if sex is off the table for whatever reason, then kissing/making out only turns them on and if they can't get release then they don't want to "get started".



chimeric said:


> Reading this thread is hawter than reading the sex threads. :blushed:


OMG it is!!!!

Example: 


> Like...slowly, lightly dragging the inside of your lower lip across someone's neck while breathing.


I want my boyfriend to read this thread to get some ideas...... :wink:


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## TrailMix (Apr 27, 2011)

Haha this thread is great. If I had any advice, I'd just say: DONT. BE. BORING!

The first guy I kissed was absolutely miserable and when we were making out, he would just do the same shit over and over again! Thats not a bad thing, its just that he had so little creativity in his repertoire that after about 5 minutes in, the newness of it had already worn off and I was bored as hell and actually wanted to leave. He refused to use _any _tongue and kept trying to shift me on top which was lame.

The second guy I had kissed was also awful and tried just shoving his tongue in my mouth over and over like some sort of mentally impaired anteater. It was disgusting and needless to say, I was out of there within 10 seconds.

The third guy I tried making out with was a nice guy, but he was just way too soft. He would like, BARELY touch my lips! Its like he would be there, and then his face would disappear! It wasnt teasing, it was fucking annoying! He did one thing right though: he kissed up my neck and started playing with my ears. Holy shit I dunno why but thats a HUGE turn on for me (and for a lot of girls I hear).

My boyfriend however, is absolutely fantastic. He uses the right amount of tongue and isn't a wallflower in the kissing spectrum. He is aggressive, but not in a weird way, and he kisses like he means it which is nice haha. He is very creative and knows EXACTLY what he is doing and what I like and luckily we're pretty much on the same level for that. 

Two tidbits that a girl will probably love: 
1. Kiss her neck/kiss up by her ear and thats a HUGE green light for some girls.

2. Bite her lip. Not like, hard, but enough for her to feel it. Lolz it goes like this: kiss, make out, bite lip - Pants off! haha (metaphorically of course)


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## donkeybals (Jan 13, 2011)

It's a scientific fact that guys can't sustain long periods of kissing. That's why it's best for girls to go down guys 3-5 minutes into the make out session.


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## Resolution (Feb 8, 2010)

Yardiff Bey said:


> Guys: *she will tend to do to you exactly what she wants done to her.*


Bey nailed it. 

"You're not the best kisser"

*Payed attention, started copying her*

"Oh my God, you learn fast!"


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Btmangan said:


> Bey nailed it.
> 
> "You're not the best kisser"
> 
> ...


I do not kiss how I want to be kissed. I relax, and kiss the way they I "pick up" on how they liked to be licked down there. I put all my focus on relating this conversation to him and let it be known. "This is how I'd start to lick your member". It's slow and soft. It's light strokes. 

All a guy really needs to do is relax his tongue and lips somewhat. Just be present and enjoy the pleasure. I sink into it. 

Because my kisses are very sexual in nature, I do have to reserve them. 

The only thing I don't like is if a guy leaves his mouth open or gives too many fast smacks. Otherwise, I'm willing to learn from his tongue what he'd like to do to me.


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## Resolution (Feb 8, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> I do not kiss how I want to be kissed. I relax, and kiss the way they I "pick up" on how they liked to be licked down there. I put all my focus on relating this conversation to him and let it be known. "This is how I'd start to lick your member". It's slow and soft. It's light strokes.
> 
> All a guy really needs to do is relax his tongue and lips somewhat. Just be present and enjoy the pleasure. I sink into it.
> 
> ...


The soft, sensual kisses are my favorite. 

The sense that something delicate is being shared is just. . . great


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## MegaTuxRacer (Sep 7, 2011)

Use your lips. I find that people are often confused about kissing. Commonly, people think that they are supposed to interlock noses and flare their nostrils, but this isn't the case. I can see where people are confused though.


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## Alaya (Nov 11, 2009)

donkeybals said:


> It's a scientific fact that guys can't sustain long periods of kissing.


Not true in my case. I've had kissing sessions lasting for more than two hours. Of course, I was doing other things at the same time...if you get my drift :wink:


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## Yardiff Bey (Jun 5, 2011)

pinkrasputin said:


> I do not kiss how I want to be kissed. I relax, and kiss the way they I "pick up" on how they liked to be licked down there. I put all my focus on relating this conversation to him and let it be known. "This is how I'd start to lick your member". It's slow and soft. It's light strokes.
> 
> All a guy really needs to do is relax his tongue and lips somewhat. Just be present and enjoy the pleasure. I sink into it.
> 
> ...


Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! For some reason...! :blushed:


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## KateMarie999 (Dec 20, 2011)

I've only kissed one guy and I was the third girl he's kissed. He says I'm the best kisser he's ever kissed (of course he could be lying to make me feel better but I doubt it considering how kissy he is when we're together).

Find out what your partner likes. My boyfriend likes it when I get a little rough (i.e. nip him on the lip or something). He's also very fond of tongues. Something I don't really like at all but I go along with it because he does and I'm an ENFP... I have to make him happy. However, I like it gentle and tender. I don't like the rough, passionate kisses as much as the ones that just sort of happen naturally.
@My Own Worst Judge, you can take it from here, you've kissed way more than I have.


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## My Own Worst Judge (May 6, 2012)

You do need to learn what your partner likes. Not everyone likes to be kissed the same way, and I kinda had to learn that the hard way :tongue:

I personally do like it a little rougher than @KateMarie999 does, but I don't mind toning it down for her. I kinda wait for her to pick up the pace. Which she does sometimes :wink:

One more thing, don't be afraid to try new things. Something you may think you won't like, you may absolutely enjoy. Open your mind, and let it roam free.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Why is PerC telling me that "INTP Ass Kissing" is a similar thread to this one? 

Hm. Maybe it is? I shall click on the link and find out how they like their ass to be kissed.


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## searcheagle (Sep 4, 2011)

pinkrasputin said:


> Why is PerC telling me that "INTP Ass Kissing" is a similar thread to this one?
> 
> Hm. Maybe it is? I shall click on the link and find out how they like their ass to be kissed.


Along with techniques to perfect it. Now, remember everyone likes to be kissed in different ways!


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## Library_Cat (Apr 5, 2012)

Ahaha, I wish I had found this thread a few days earlier. I just had my first kiss this past weekend, and I was so unprepared and awkward it wasn't even funny, haha. My partner is a spontaneous guy, and I hadn't seen him in person in about a year, so once we were in a private location, there was very little time to get used to even just holding hands, or something less intimate, before he was suddenly kissing me, and it probably didn't help that I had been expecting slower kisses rather than the sudden rapid-fire barrage... I have no idea how to go about telling a guy how to modify his technique though, and I'm pretty sure I offended him by stopping so often. So, basically what I've learned is to just keep going, don't shut down.


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## Katrin (Aug 18, 2012)

One of the best kisses I ever had was from a guy who started off being an absolute disastrous kisser. When I first kissed him I'd really been looking forward to the opportunity, then it happened and I was like oh dear. Luckily, it became a personal challenge for me. I really liked him and I wasn't going to be limited by his inability to know what I wanted at any given time. I never said he couldn't kiss, but took control myself. I told him what I liked, I showed him what I liked and when he did something I didn't like I moved myself so he was no longer doing it. It took time.

The best kiss itself involved a gooseberry. We each had a few picked off the gooseberry bush of the big, less prickly, sweet pink ones. They taste so much better than a shop bought gooseberry. I ate mine, he ate his, apart from the final gooseberry which we shared. It popped in our mouths as we kissed.


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## MandarinChild (Nov 18, 2011)

I've never kissed anyone, and I'm fucking scared to.

Would you consider it a turn-off if someone had a short tongue? Because I do. 

:awkward:


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## Katrin (Aug 18, 2012)

MandarinChild said:


> I've never kissed anyone, and I'm fucking scared to.
> 
> Would you consider it a turn-off if someone had a short tongue? Because I do.
> 
> :awkward:


I think it would be unnatural not to be nervous about the first time. I'm always nervous about the first time with any new guy. Don't let that stop you though, a good kiss is worth it.

I don't exactly have the longest tongue either. I've never come across any guy or girl complaining about another's tongue length.


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## wisdom (Dec 31, 2008)

Hidden mouth in picture = tongue insecurity? Small mouth, small tongue? I only know my tongue isn't long. A very long tongue probably would disgust me. Kissing is kind of disgusting, when you think about it.

Anyway, I think the best form of kissing or any sort of physical affection is likely to involve contacting more than one place at once.


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## Jwing24 (Aug 2, 2010)

I don't even know how I would approach kissing someone. I think I would chicken out and give them a hug, at least I know how to do that.


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## Hruberen (Jan 2, 2012)

I'm really curious as to what the kissing trick in we're the millers is


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