# NFs: Do you resonate with these problems of your personality?



## throughtheroses (May 25, 2016)

1. No, I don't associate food with emotions at all. It's more of an "experience" thing to cheer me up, and food may be tangentially involved--going out to a nice restaurant, cuddling with blankets and eating ice cream, taking a picnic on a sunny day, etc. Just food doesn't do it for me.

2. Definitely.

3. Yes.

4. Not really, but sometimes if I'm in a clingy mood it'll be difficult for me to say no to people.


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## GranChi (Jun 16, 2013)

I have all of those problems, except #3 most of the time.


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## leictreon (Jan 4, 2016)

1) Yes
2) Yes
3) No
4) Yes


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## Shia (Jun 11, 2016)

1. Sometimes, yes.
2. Definitely, yes. I'm usually inclined to make my work the best ever from everyone's eyes. I'm somewhat like a perfectionist.
3. Not always or not at all.
4. I'm usually a people-pleaser especially when someone asks me to draw them, I can't say no. But now, I've learned myself that I don't have to be a fool for everyone.


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## lavendersnow (Jan 13, 2016)

*1. Emotional Eating Equating food with comfort. Using food to fill emotional needs.* I've suffered from numerous EDs in the past, so yes. We were never allowed any kind of unhealthy food in the house under any circumstance as a child. My mum taught us that if we wanted to celebrate something, like winning an award. We could have junk food for once but any that came in the house would have to be eaten in one go - using food as a reward and being forced to eat all of it or risk punishment, even if we were full, taught both me and my brother extremely bad habits and I blame her for beginning my EDs.

*2. Being Too Hard on Themselves NFs have a heightened sensitivity to the appraisal of others and set high standards for themselves. Don't like to disappoint others and can berate themselves or feel not "good enough" if they feel like they don't measure up.* All the time. One huge reason I don't date is that I don't like the idea of someone counting on me so much that they love me. Because I will undoubtedly fail them at some point and I cannot do this to someone I love.

*3. Putting Their Own Needs Aside Getting so caught up in caring for others that you put your own needs aside.* All the time.
*
4. Trouble Saying "No" People pleasers. Hard time saying no to other people's request.* Very often. I'm working on it.


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## Wiggentree (Feb 8, 2013)

I'm probably INFX

1. Depends on intensity of emotions. _When it's not super intense_, I'll have pleasure-seeking habits that may include eating, but I usually just over-spend on clothes and things that would make me feel better about myself. This may have to do with varying emotional needs. I would be more likely to spend on clothes than to overeat because my negative emotions are more tied to self-esteem issues. _When emotions are intense_, I tend to forget about my needs altogether since I'll retreat into my mind and everything outside becomes a blur. If I even eat, I won't even remember what I've eaten or when.

2. Yes! I would say this is associated with #4, being a people pleaser.

3. Depends on how you define "care"... If I can care about them in the way I'm capable of, then I will almost always put aside my own needs for the other. However, if it's not in my power (think cooking, cleaning, providing guidelines, nagging them to do things, etc.), then I have to really care about you.

4. Yes, especially when I was younger.


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## star dust (Jun 13, 2016)

Yes to all. Big time.


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## wanderingfox (Aug 20, 2015)

Thank you SOO much everyone for all of your input! I would like to let you all know that the book is now for sale. It's FREE tomorrow (7/12) thru Friday (7/15). The book is fairly short if you only read the chapter about your specific personality type. Personalitycafe.com was a huge help in researching and getting feedback on this book. So I want to make sure the members on this forum know it's free if interested in reading! I'd also love an honest review (good or bad! I have no problem with constructive criticism...), if you do read it and would like to give me some feedback. 

Thanks to everyone who helped make this possible!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01I8LM4XS


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## throughtheroses (May 25, 2016)

@wanderingfox 

Wow, congratulations!! I can't wait to read it.


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## wanderingfox (Aug 20, 2015)

throughtheroses said:


> @wanderingfox
> 
> Wow, congratulations!! I can't wait to read it.


Thanks so much! Should be on sale today!


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## sunnyand75 (Apr 23, 2017)

1. I don't typically use food for comfort, but do binge watch tv and oversleep when I'm stressed. Or just peace out and isolate from others for a while just chilling with myself until I feel better (recharged maybe).
2. I'm very hard on myself. It's something I've become more aware of and am trying to improve. Don't think there will be a time where I don't try hard or work hard, but balancing that with self-compassion and knowing what is "good enough" is important for happiness and growth.
3. I definitely do this, but got burned out in the past few years so I'm learning the importance of self-care in order to care for others effectively. 
4. I've been working on assertiveness so I could definitely turn down a second helping, but other times not so much. Sometimes instead of confronting or speaking up I'll ignore things which in some ways is actually worse than vocalizing a no. 

One of my biggest struggles is knowing how to show up in social situations. I can be really charming and friendly or really closed and awkward depending on my comfort level and mood. Not sure if other INFJs have this problem but sometimes reading other's vibes and analyzing my own self can be weird. Like until I know if I'm wanted in a situation or how to show up I awkwardly vacillate between trying to open up charmingly and awkwardly being guarded / unsure in situations. 

Hope this helps.


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## Headdesk (Jun 13, 2016)

> 1. Emotional Eating Equating food with comfort. Using food to fill emotional needs.


Sometimes, but this is an upbringing thing for me. My mother loves chocolate when she's stressed (like I do), and I grew up with high school friends who liked to dote on me with cookies, tea, etc.



> 2. Being Too Hard on Themselves NFs have a heightened sensitivity to the appraisal of others and set high standards for themselves. Don't like to disappoint others and can berate themselves or feel not "good enough" if they feel like they don't measure up.


I can be hard on others, but I'm hard on myself, as well. I at least need to believe in myself and feel that I'm strong, capable, and good in a world that can be quite dark. I believe that when push comes to shove, I may be the only one I can count on and that I need to be someone who can make it through with a clear head and a clear heart.



> 3. Putting Their Own Needs Aside Getting so caught up in caring for others that you put your own needs aside.


When I was younger, yes. 



> 4. Trouble Saying "No" People pleasers. Hard time saying no to other people's requests. Like turning down that second helping your grandma forces on you!


I don't think I was ever a people pleaser. I never liked having to hurt or inconvenience myself for someone else unless I wanted to or thought they really needed the help. I was a pretty headstrong child and wanted to do things my own way.


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## Eefje (May 8, 2017)

> 1. Emotional Eating Equating food with comfort. Using food to fill emotional needs.


Yes. I have got some good examples for when that occurs:
- When I have my period. Okay, not only INFP's get their period lol, but I do eat a lot when I feel emotional during those ups and downs.
- When I have lots of stress. I over-eat. Or I don't eat at all. Its all about the extremes. I like eating sweets, because it somehow makes me feel better when I have stress.
- When I have a very serious dip in my life. Again, its all about the extremes. When it finished between my ex and I, I didn't eat for 4 days straight (like, no joke. I didn't even feel hungry. It was so difficult to eat again)


> 2. Being Too Hard on Themselves NFs have a heightened sensitivity to the appraisal of others and set high standards for themselves. Don't like to disappoint others and can berate themselves or feel not "good enough" if they feel like they don't measure up.


Kinda. Depends on what kind of empathy I am feeling towards others. If I don't have any, I don't really care. But mostly I do feel some empathy towards them. The idea of dissapointing those people, is really confronting. If that would happen, I wouldn't only dissapoint them but myself too.
Some say I am too hard on myself. I do believe that is true to some extent.I have enough confidence to know my good assets and my bad ones. But I don't always seem to be able to put the bad ones in an objective perspective. I nearly always start from my own perspective when judging myself. Which isn't always the right one...



> 3. Putting Their Own Needs Aside Getting so caught up in caring for others that you put your own needs aside.


Sometimes. I see others and myself on an equal basis. So if it would mean that I would feel terrible after I cared or helped someone, I wouldn't do it. I do like to help others in spite of my own agenda or so. It's easier to make a priority of them in comparison to some minor practical stuff.



> 4. Trouble Saying "No" People pleasers. Hard time saying no to other people's requests. Like turning down that second helping your grandma forces on you!


No. I can say no when I want to.


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## TalNFJ (May 5, 2017)

1. Yes a little, I tend to eat sweets when I'm bored or moody.
2. Extreamly, though I honestly feel this is more being type 1 than NF.
3. I don't really put my needs aside I just have a hard time understanding what they are.
4. Yes.


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## DOGSOUP (Jan 29, 2016)

*1. Emotional Eating *
What?? 

*2. Being Too Hard on Themselves* 
Hardly.

* 3. Putting Their Own Needs Aside *
I always find this question confusing. Like _what _needs? I don't get what it is referring to. Thus, I don't know if I care for the _needs _of others either because of this.

*4. Trouble Saying "No" *
No.


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## Allonsy (Mar 30, 2017)

No.


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## DOGSOUP (Jan 29, 2016)

I had an idea that needs are something animalistic, and I try my best to be cultural. Attending to needs could be destructive toward that.

Having figured this out, as a whole, no, I don't relate nor resonate with any of these problems... which is odd because I usually find most things relatable.


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## AshOrLey (May 28, 2016)

1. I never emotionally eat. Mostly I don't seek external ways of fulfilling my emotions. 

2. Yea I'm hard on myself when I'm in an unhealthy moment. 

3. Depends, at times, but not compared to the enfj. 

4. I have lots of trouble saying no...when it's not a value. If a value is what's being threatened, no is the easiest thing to say. Very all or nothing.


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## ENFPurpleKitti (Mar 20, 2017)

1. never
2. guilty
3. guilty
4. hit-or-miss


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## Westy365 (Jun 21, 2012)

1). No, but I do love food.
2). Yes
3). Yes
4). Yes


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