# Women: Is sex necessary?



## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

Well the question being asked in the thread ≠ the actual title of the thread in syntax and in coherence with the original topic at hand. One implies a preference while the other explicitly states a dysfunction of a person unable to have sex and to remain with them.


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## Coccinellidae (Mar 16, 2010)

It would be okay for some time, but I wouldn't fall for a guy in long term who is unable to have sex with me or with who there's no sexual chemistry between us. Sex is ranked highly in my book. If there's no "bedroom" chemistry in a relationship, then the relationship is pretty much doomed for me.


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## curious0610 (Jun 27, 2010)

I have to admit. My curiosity of the circumstances was initially stronger than my desire to answer the question. I had a hard time trying to imagine or understand why such a circumstance would be present, but it's not in my place to be nosy I suppose.

For me personally, no, sex is not necessary. I know of people who say sexual compability is one of the most crucial aspects in a relationship, but for me personally, it's not a major aspect. It's something I've thought about in the last few weeks actually. I would almost prefer in a perfect, ideal world to have physical intimacy with a loved one without the sex.


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## perennialurker (Oct 1, 2009)

The question is purely hypothetical.


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## AussieChick (Dec 27, 2010)

For me yes,I crave emotional and physical contact.If I go without for even a few days I start questioning whether I have done something wrong to upset my partner.Of course I haven't but I just need to be close to him and know that he loves me.If something happened and we couldn't have that intimacy any more,I wouldn't leave him as there is so much more to a relationship than just sex.Plus I know that I could get it elsewhere with my partners blessing.


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## perennialurker (Oct 1, 2009)

curious0610 said:


> I have to admit. My curiosity of the circumstances was initially stronger than my desire to answer the question. I had a hard time trying to imagine or understand why such a circumstance would be present, but it's not in my place to be nosy I suppose.
> 
> For me personally, no, sex is not necessary. I know of people who say sexual compability is one of the most crucial aspects in a relationship, but for me personally, it's not a major aspect. It's something I've thought about in the last few weeks actually. I would almost prefer in a perfect, ideal world to have physical intimacy with a loved one without the sex.


FYI, your inbox is full.


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## Reicheru (Sep 24, 2011)

perennialurker said:


> Would you be able to accept a romantic partner who was unable to have sex but who otherwise made you happy? Would physical intimacy short of sex be tolerable or not?


depends on the context, but generally, no, probably not. i need to feel like i'm "sexually" taking care of my partner.. it brings an intimacy to the relationship that talking and cuddling just can't.


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## killerB (Jan 14, 2010)

I would not leave my wife if she could no longer have sexual relations with me, unless she was not giving me intimacy also. If the intimacy was not being given, I would no longer feel bonded to her and I would leave because I would feel empty. Sex builds intimacy and pair bonds people, so it is a vital part of a realationship for me. However, there are SO many ways to be intimate and enjoy sexual relations besides intercourse, that it is hard for me to understand how you could not find something if you really both worked on it. For example, you could masturbate while your mate stroked you or touched you, or they could dress sexy while you did yourself. You could read Erotica together and you could have them place their hand, or other body part just so and you could use Tribadism to enjoy yourself, etc and so on. There are so many positions, and toys and strapons, and body parts and rubbing techniques that something could be found, if you both wanted it badly enough. 

To me, the key would be to remain open, honest and retain good communication with each other so that you are able to give the intimacy that you both need, and respect each others boundries and limitations.


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## Reicheru (Sep 24, 2011)

killerB said:


> Sex builds intimacy and pair bonds people, so it is a vital part of a realationship for me. However, there are SO many ways to be intimate and enjoy sexual relations besides intercourse, that it is hard for me to understand how you could not find something if you really both worked on it. For example, you could masturbate while your mate stroked you or touched you, or they could dress sexy while you did yourself. You could read Erotica together and you could have them place their hand, or other body part just so and you could use Tribadism to enjoy yourself, etc and so on. There are so many positions, and toys and strapons, and body parts and rubbing techniques that something could be found, if you both wanted it badly enough.


agreed. i wasn't sure if the op referred to sexual _intercourse_ or just sexual relations in general including non-coital, but i could definitely get by with just the latter and a little creativity. 

but if there was no sexual contact at all, i don't think i could.


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## Mostly Harmless (Oct 16, 2011)

No.

I can go without sex for a long time, months and maybe even years if necessary without too much grief, but I wouldn't knowingly enter a relationship that was irrevocably and eternally sexless.


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## Psilo (Apr 29, 2009)

curious0610 said:


> I have to admit. My curiosity of the circumstances was initially stronger than my desire to answer the question. I had a hard time trying to imagine or understand why such a circumstance would be present, but it's not in my place to be nosy I suppose.
> 
> For me personally, no, sex is not necessary. I know of people who say sexual compability is one of the most crucial aspects in a relationship, but for me personally, it's not a major aspect. It's something I've thought about in the last few weeks actually. I would almost prefer in a perfect, ideal world to have physical intimacy with a loved one without the sex.


Sexual compatibility is important to a relationship. Whether that is low to no sex, or tons. 

I understand having sex at a low priority, as I'm the same way. The problem is that we would need to find someone compatible with that. Someone with a high priority on sex would not be happy with me and vice versa, because they would feel like they lacked intimacy, and I would feel pushed beyond my comfort or used. 

By compatibility, it just means that the person you are with an yourself do not feel any kind of animosity towards the sex or lack thereof. And that I'd a nessecity for a healthy relationship. People with different sex drives can work out if they are willing to compromise, but the issue just can't be ignored.


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## Coccinellidae (Mar 16, 2010)

Fira said:


> It would be okay for some time, but I wouldn't fall for a guy in long term who is unable to have sex with me or with who there's no sexual chemistry between us. Sex is ranked highly in my book. If there's no "bedroom" chemistry in a relationship, then the relationship is pretty much doomed for me.


Huh, have to add though I'm sexually needy I'm also very loyal. So, If I have found a lover and having kids with him and something has happened to him that has taken away his bedroom abilites, then I'd still stick with him. Besides, there have been invented different toys for self-gaming.


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## killerB (Jan 14, 2010)

Fira said:


> self-gaming.


 
This is my all time favorite reference to masturbation, ever. LOL


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## ForsakenMe (Aug 30, 2010)

Why can't he have sex? If it's because of a freak accident, then I'm fine without having sex with him. We can do other things to please each other, whether it's hugging, kissing, massages, etc.

If it's because he's asexual, then I'll have to let him go, but I would want us to keep in touch. I don't hate asexuals, and I find them in fact very interesting... but to be in a relationship with one will prove to be very difficult for us. It's not them; it's the sexual compatibility that will make me feel very unsatisfied about it. I kind of think that asexuals should be with other asexuals, or at the very least... folks who aren't asexual but can go through life with very, very little sex.

If it's because he wants to wait before marriage, then that's okay too, but then I would wonder about how he would view me because I didn't waited. So, I guess we're better off being friends and I will wish him the best of luck in love.


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## Mercer (Nov 6, 2009)

women enjoy sex more than men do. just sayin'.


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## tessabe (Dec 25, 2011)

Yes I could. I lived most of my life without sex, I don't have to have it. If I loved someone and there was caring I'd deal.


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## Arcaeus (Dec 31, 2011)

> women enjoy sex more than men do. just sayin'.


Yep, no doubt. Women get a lot more pleasure out of sex than a man can ever dream of, but a man typically wants it more.


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## AussieChick (Dec 27, 2010)

Psilo said:


> *Sexual compatibility is important to a relationship.* Whether that is low to no sex, or tons.
> 
> I understand having sex at a low priority, as I'm the same way. The problem is that that
> 
> ...





Fira said:


> Huh, have to add *though I'm sexually needy I'm also very loyal*. So, If I have found a lover and having kids with him and something has happened to him that has taken away his bedroom abilites, then I'd still stick with him. Besides, there have been invented different toys for self-gaming.





Arcaeus said:


> Yep, no doubt. *Women get a lot more pleasure out of sex than a man can ever dream of, but a man typically wants it more.*




My man doesn't want sex more than I do.I have a much higher sex drive than he does.I highlighted the parts of the quotes that I can relate to.I do get a lot of pleasure from sex,but it is more from sharing that closeness and connection with my partner.I would say that we are compatible in a lot of ways but sexual compatibility is not one of those factors.I can have sex every day,if I don't get it I masturbate or 'self game' as @Fira mentioned.I like that term a lot .It sounds so much better than masturbating.

I need reassurance that my man loves me and to me sex is a part of that.My ex husband was very dominating and controlling and used sex as a means of manipulating me.He would use every opportunity he could to get me to have sex with him.He would follow me around the house and jump me when he felt like it.I couldn't go in the kitchen and make a cup of coffee or cook dinner with out him wanting sex.I guess that I need to try to de-program myself from this behaviour.I get very paranoid and wonder what is wrong with me because my new partner is the total opposite of my ex.He never follows me around looking for the next opportunity for sex,and I am usually always the one to start anything because he doesn't want to feel like he is forcing me into anything I don't want.He is an ISTP and needs his space and can be very moody and hard to read sometimes.I am learning more about him every day,I love him and know now that he loves me.If I feel that he is ignoring me and not paying me enough attention I need to step back and smack myself in the head,metaphorically of course.

I must add that he is a volunteer fireman and we are now in our summer so he is very busy at this time of year.I feel like he is married to the CFA (Country Fire Authority) at times.We also live 50kms or roughly 100 miles away from each other.So we usually only see each other 2 or 3 times a week.Last week I spent a whole week at his place with my 13 year old son.It was the longest amount of time that I think we have ever spent together so I did feel like he wasn't paying me enough attention.We only had sex 3 times during that whole week.My partner can gladly go a whole week without sex.But as I said earlier I am not used to going without,and even though my ex used to force himself on me I felt needed and welcomed the attention he was giving me.I do need to try and compromise with my new partner and learn that his sexual needs are not as great as mine and try not to beat myself up about it by thinking that there is something wrong with me.


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## birthday (Feb 6, 2011)

I'd worship my partner until the end of time if it was like that. The way I see it sex is only useful for the sake of creating more humans.


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## Miriamisfj (Apr 13, 2010)

No, for one I want to have children and that cannot happen unless there is some sex involved, or sperm doners but I would prefer to raise my children with their biological parents. 

Physical intimacy is more important then sex but since I have experiences of sex in the past (both good and bad) I can see how it would enrich a relationship and give you a deeper level of intimacy. Love is more important so if I meet someone who is physically unable to have sex, or father children I would have to consider which are most important to me.


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## Eighty (Apr 6, 2011)

If I love them, yes. Sex is great, but really there is more to life than that.


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## Munyamoon (Jan 3, 2012)

The thing is, it depends on what someone is looking for with sex. For me, sex is not filling or meaningful if there is no connection. The beauty of sex is truly connecting with someone you love, without thought or inhibitions...of course there are times when all we need is a lil lovin;p


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## Daiz (Jan 4, 2017)

God, you just described my ideal relationship.

Actually, I would love a partner who could please my sexually but I don't think I'm ever going to have one, so I would definitely prefer to not bother with sex at all. Intimacy is far more important. Showers together. Falling asleep together. Look after each other when we're sick. Give me all of that stuff. I don't need sex.


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## Ttalkkugjil (Feb 1, 2017)

perennialurker said:


> Would you be able to accept a romantic partner who was unable to have sex but who otherwise made you happy? Would physical intimacy short of sex be tolerable or not?


Sex is necessary.


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## Tad Cooper (Apr 10, 2010)

Ive dated a guy who didnt seem interested in sex generally, but liked kissing/cuddling/other stuff, and I just enjoyed spending time with him loads so was happy with that. Sex is only necessary for me with some people, and generally it's good but I get bored really quickly if it drags on (i.e. tons of foreplay, then kind of a slow period, then more stuff and then sex, but it takes over an hour and I get bored after about 20 minutes....)


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## Librarylady (Mar 11, 2017)

I don't have a high sex drive, but no sex at all in relationship might be kind of pointless....I just wouldn't want it as much as most people.


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## Wisteria (Apr 2, 2015)

perennialurker said:


> Would you be able to accept a romantic partner who was unable to have sex but who otherwise made you happy? Would physical intimacy short of sex be tolerable or not?


No. In a romantic relationship I would want sex eventually. It's a part of intimacy to me. If they were asexual or disabled somehow then I would find it difficult to have a relationship with them in the first place.


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## Nekomata (May 26, 2012)

Sex isn't necessary. My sex drive is none existent and am just generally ehh when it comes to everything about sex. However, I still do it whenever my boyfriend wants to because I love him and don't want to deprive him. Taking one for the team I guess xD but if it makes him happy then I'd be happy to have sex for his sake <3


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

It's necessary in a committed relationship and in getting to the point of commitment for me.


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## Chesire Tower (Jan 19, 2013)

Veggie said:


> It's necessary in a committed relationship and in getting to the point of commitment for me.


It's necessary for me to even consider *wanting*​, to be in any kind of romantic relationship. :crazy:


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## Velett (Jan 10, 2017)

It's fine.
As long as I have fingers I'm good.


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## Tropes (Jul 7, 2016)

I am curious at a slight iteration of this question: Would you leave someone you love if - due to medical conditions or physical injury or an unsavoury symptom of medical treatments - they were no longer capable of sex? How long would you wait, and would you stay if it was permanent?


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## marybluesky (Apr 23, 2012)

Then I would label him a friend not a romantic match.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

Tropes said:


> I am curious at a slight iteration of this question: Would you leave someone you love if - due to medical conditions or physical injury or an unsavoury symptom of medical treatments - they were no longer capable of sex? How long would you wait, and would you stay if it was permanent?


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## Librarylady (Mar 11, 2017)

Tropes said:


> I am curious at a slight iteration of this question: Would you leave someone you love if - due to medical conditions or physical injury or an unsavoury symptom of medical treatments - they were no longer capable of sex? How long would you wait, and would you stay if it was permanent?


Medical reasons- I'd stay with them and try to work it out! I completely understand how this would feel since I've also lost my sex drive to medicines, depression, etc. Hopefully we could see a therapist and see if there's a way around it. But as long as the relationship isn't celibate 100% of the time, I'm okay with low frequencies as long as It's discussed.


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## Mange (Jan 9, 2011)

perennialurker said:


> Would you be able to accept a romantic partner who was unable to have sex but who otherwise made you happy? Would physical intimacy short of sex be tolerable or not?


No. This would be bad.


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## septic tank (Jul 21, 2013)

I think I'll only know if I had to answer that question for real.


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## Riven (Jan 17, 2015)

I'm not a woman, but I think they can, considering they have a low sex drive in general.


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## baitedcrow (Dec 22, 2015)

I might consider it in a highly unusual situation but in general sex is important to me. (And I won't buy the cow if I can't sample the milk, either.)


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## Jaune (Jul 11, 2013)

I'm asexual, so I'd definitely be fine with that. I'd also prefer it because then I'd feel less pressure.


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