# How come it always seem like women complaining about sex?



## Andrewoo (Nov 15, 2009)

I tried looking online for men complaining how woman do not give them what they want in sex but it seems like it is mostly woman complaining about men. They say the men does not give them what they want, they don't know what to do. In my experience it has always been the opposite. I always give my girlfriend what she wants and I try looking online for tips to make my sex better but I can't. There is loads of articles about making sex better for HER, but what about us guys? Whenever I'm reading these articles I always feel frustrated. They tell you what girls want, and for the most part its true. But having sex to me just feels like some weird sort of game. You touch the right parts in order to achieve the goal. Where has the mystery gone? My sexual partner seems to get lost in her bliss, and she doesn't know how to satisfy me. But I don't know what to tell her, because I want sex to be mysterious and like passionate, but every time I think about it, it just seems so routine and robotic because of the way woman want pleasure. I'm not sure I'm really conveying what I mean, and I don't want to be throwing out generalizations, but in my experience this is how sex is. Do any men have similar complaints, or women with something to say?


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## Eerie (Feb 9, 2011)

I think the reason that there is more advice out there for pleasing women compared to men is because for most women it takes more than random humping to have an orgasm. Women's bodies are more complicated imo than men's bodies are. I think that pleasing men is a lot easier than sexually satisfying most women.


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## Kelly617 (May 25, 2011)

@Modifier

Uh...what? +1 for blatant sexism, dude. Seriously. >.>

I agree with @Eerie, sex and orgasms can be just as satisfying for women as it is for men, but the way women are built means it requires a little bit more patience and understanding. Men seem to get off just by thrusting in and out a few times, whereas women have a very tiny, very specific pleasure centre that isn't always located in the most convenient of places. It just takes a bit of creativity.


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

Andrewoo said:


> I tried looking online for men complaining how woman do not give them what they want in sex but it seems like it is mostly woman complaining about men. They say the men does not give them what they want, they don't know what to do. In my experience it has always been the opposite. I always give my girlfriend what she wants and I try looking online for tips to make my sex better but I can't. There is loads of articles about making sex better for HER, but what about us guys? Whenever I'm reading these articles I always feel frustrated. They tell you what girls want, and for the most part its true. But having sex to me just feels like some weird sort of game. You touch the right parts in order to achieve the goal. Where has the mystery gone? My sexual partner seems to get lost in her bliss, and she doesn't know how to satisfy me. But I don't know what to tell her, because I want sex to be mysterious and like passionate, but every time I think about it, it just seems so routine and robotic because of the way woman want pleasure. I'm not sure I'm really conveying what I mean, and I don't want to be throwing out generalizations, but in my experience this is how sex is. Do any men have similar complaints, or women with something to say?


So are you saying you are not asking for some sort of 'physical pleasure' from your female partner, but instead are asking for some sort of emotional connection during sex? 

I mean, you just actually said it -- you want sex to be "mysterious and passionate."

What exactly does that mean? If you can't articulate it, you can't articulate it... but you can't expect someone else to read your mind and figure it out either.


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

Eerie said:


> I think the reason that there is more advice out there for pleasing women compared to men is because for most women it takes more than random humping to have an orgasm. Women's bodies are more complicated imo than men's bodies are. I think that pleasing men is a lot easier than sexually satisfying most women.


There are many studies to back up the claim that for women emotions and psychology play a larger role than in men. 

Although it shouldn't be thought that ejaculation always involves orgasms. Take it from me, I masturbate almost every day and it's boring. I say the emotional and psychological aspects are lacking, so those and the physical desire are all parts for men, with physical pleasure making up the biggest part. Can't say for sure if it's 50/50, unfortunately, but my guess is 60/40. At least for myself.


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## Eerie (Feb 9, 2011)

@Modifier

This is a joke, right? Or do you seriously know nothing about women?


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## Kelly617 (May 25, 2011)

@WamphyriThrall

I do agree that emotions and psychological attachment/kinship makes sense more exciting or enjoyable...but I masturbate at least 4 or 5 times a week, and I manage to give myself some pretty impressive orgasms without too much mental/emotional buildup needed at all. Basically <3 my vibrator. XD


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

Kelly617 said:


> @WamthyriThrall
> 
> I do agree that emotions and psychological attachment/kinship makes sense more exciting or enjoyable...but I masturbate at least 4 or 5 times a week, and I manage to give myself some pretty impressive orgasms without too much mental/emotional buildup needed at all. Basically <3 my vibrator. XD


The thing is that I don't aim for orgasm through ejaculation most times; it's just a release for pent up frustration and tensions. Besides, achieving a true orgasm takes more time and effort, not to mention is more obvious (live with parents still), so I usually save those for special occasions.


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## bigtex1989 (Feb 7, 2011)

This answer can be broken down into 2 parts imo.

1) Mens bodies are inherently worth less in most western societies for some reason. This can be seen in every facet but dating is the most helpful to examine. Usually, the man has to win the approval of the female to initiate mating. This can also be seen with how we talk to boys and girls about sex. Girls are told to "not give it up" or "it is a special gift for a special guy" or stuff like that. Boys aren't told anything like that. This has breed generations of men who are just happy to get sex and women who expect more returns on their "special gift". I have noticed this trend decreasing in prevalence but it is still common enough to note. This also has caused women to be stigmatized for being promiscuous imo. Both outcomes are wrong.

2) Men are designed to orgasm quickly during mating. The quicker a man orgasms, the quicker he can go back to hunting or fighting or protecting or whatever. Orgasms are usually directly correlated to sexual satisfaction, so it is easier to "please" men. Female genitalia is also more complex from a SEXUAL stand point (although sperm and urine from the same hole and the fluids not mixing too much is a marvel on it's own). A quick diagram of the female reproductive system will prove this more than words ever could. This means it is much harder (and as such, a much more desirable skill) to make a female orgasm. It is possible and a very rewarding skill to master. It is worth every second of frustrating Q&A, humbling sex talks, and constant criticism of my techniques.

The bottom line is, guys know how to fuck but few know how to have sex.


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## Kelly617 (May 25, 2011)

WamphyriThrall said:


> The thing is that I don't aim for orgasm through ejaculation most times; it's just a release for pent up frustration and tensions. Besides, achieving a true orgasm takes more time and effort, not to mention is more obvious (live with parents still), so I usually save those for special occasions.


That's how we're different, I guess. The clitoris does absolutely nothing but facilitate orgasms, so playing with it right pretty much assures you a great one every time, at least, in my experience. I know some women claim to have a harder time getting off, but I'm not sure what they're doing wrong, to be honest. It might be a mental block kind of thing? I've never felt guilty or concerned with the idea of masturbation or orgasming, so it seems to be pretty easy for me. Everyone's different though.


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## Eerie (Feb 9, 2011)

Modifier said:


> I dont like arguing over nonsense . Do a little test take 10 girls try to please them by doing the kind of sex they desire no matter how great it is they would always find some fault .


Then riddle me this, why am I completely emotionally and sexually satisfied by my partner? 

I must not be a woman :O


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## Modifier (Aug 17, 2011)

who knows maybe you think you are ? but you arent


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## Eerie (Feb 9, 2011)

Modifier said:


> who knows maybe you think you are ? but you arent


:tongue: You're right, I have a huge peen.


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## Modifier (Aug 17, 2011)

well its a universal fact ask any guy outside this website in real life okay do a little test tomorrow ask 10 guys the same question they will tell you . I will be glad to hear your answer


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## dalsgaard (Aug 14, 2010)

I have complaints. A lot of women just lie there like a stiff board, and expect you to go about the whole business. The passivity is killing me, I've seen it again and again. Also, they often don't know how to give a proper blowjob because they don't wary their technique enough. They are almost always either too rough or too easy on their touch, and I would just wish more women would actually say what THEY want and take a little initiative once in a while. They like seducing us, but I'm so sick and tired of their lack of self-worth once we enter the bedroom. Some women are extremely lacking in confidence about their own bodies, because they think they have weird nipples or something, and then they become self-conscious and worried about how they look (Which just makes for boring sex, really). Another common thing is women who overplay it and say all the ridiculous stuff that you hear in porn movies, like: "Ohhh, it's soooo biiig!" (Right, I know how big it is, and I know you've probably seen bigger). Another thing is ridiculous myths women believe, like the whole "If I have sex with him on the first date, then he's not going to be interested in me for the long run", which is just a load of BS - though I suppose that doesn't have much to do with the sex itself.

So yes, I have complaints. I just don't talk about it a lot, because there is no need - it's not going to change, and I have a girlfriend who knows what I want, and I know what she wants. I once went to bed with a girl that refused to do anything at all. She didn't even utter a word, and when I tried talking to her she would just keep her mouth shut and not say anything. After trying to encourage her to be a little more active and participative (If I wanted to fuck a mannequin doll, I'd buy one), I simply gave up. Would it even be legal if I had done anything? I left her there, horny and frustrated (Damn she was angry the next day), but if she doesn't know how to turn me on, then nothing is ever going to happen anyway. These days I don't get a lot of sex, but I get the good kind when I finally do.

All in all: Men don't complain because they are not supposed to have any standards.


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## Eerie (Feb 9, 2011)

Modifier said:


> well its a universal fact ask any guy outside this website in real life okay do a little test tomorrow ask 10 guys the same question they will tell you . I will be glad to hear your answer


"universal fact" ????


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## Kelly617 (May 25, 2011)

@_Modifier_ , you're being really gross. Just because you've never been able to satisfy a woman sexually doesn't mean it isn't possible. Stop speaking in insulting generalities on a subject you clearly know very little about.

@dalsgaard, Yay for double standards, huh? I hear what you're saying. I think it just takes the right guy with the right girl - a mutual understanding about what works and what doesn't. Then it's great fun!


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

dalsgaard said:


> I have complaints. A lot of women just lie there like a stiff board, and expect you to go about the whole business. The passivity is killing me, I've seen it again and again. Also, they often don't know how to give a proper blowjob because they don't wary their technique enough. They are almost always either too rough or too easy on their touch, and I would just wish more women would actually say what THEY want and take a little initiative once in a while. They like seducing us, but I'm so sick and tired of their lack of self-worth once we enter the bedroom. Some women are extremely lacking in confidence about their own bodies, because they think they have weird nipples or something, and then they become self-conscious and worried about how they look (Which just makes for boring sex, really). Another common thing is women who overplay it and say all the ridiculous stuff that you hear in porn movies, like: "Ohhh, it's soooo biiig!" (Right, I know how big it is, and I know you've probably seen bigger). Another thing is ridiculous myths women believe, like the whole "If I have sex with him on the first date, then he's not going to be interested in me for the long run", which is just a load of BS - though I suppose that doesn't have much to do with the sex itself.
> 
> So yes, I have complaints. I just don't talk about it a lot, because there is no need - it's not going to change, and I have a girlfriend who knows what I want, and I know what she wants. I once went to bed with a girl that refused to do anything at all. She didn't even utter a word, and when I tried talking to her she would just keep her mouth shut and not say anything. After trying to encourage her to be a little more active and participative (If I wanted to fuck a mannequin doll, I'd buy one), I simply gave up. Would it even be legal if I had done anything? I left her there, horny and frustrated (Damn she was angry the next day), but if she doesn't know how to turn me on, then nothing is ever going to happen anyway. These days I don't get a lot of sex, but I get the good kind when I finally do.
> 
> All in all: Men don't complain because they are not supposed to have any standards.


Go gay; you won't have these types of problems anymore, albeit a new set of them. It'll probably be a shorter list overall, though. Speaking from experience...


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## twoofthree (Aug 6, 2011)

Modifier said:


> well its a universal fact ask any guy outside this website in real life okay do a little test tomorrow ask 10 guys the same question they will tell you . I will be glad to hear your answer


Newsflash! It's just you.
There are lots of men out there who know how to satisfy a woman. . . and who would gladly say so.

As a woman, I've been satisfied beyond my wildest dreams on multiple occasions.

You're that bad?! Open your mind, you might still be able to learn.


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## dalsgaard (Aug 14, 2010)

WamphyriThrall said:


> Go gay; you won't have these types of problems anymore, albeit a new set of them. It'll probably be a shorter list overall, though. Speaking from experience...


I've tried, but didn't catch my interests. I agree it would probably be easier though 

@Kelly617
Years!


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## Yardiff Bey (Jun 5, 2011)

WamphyriThrall said:


> Go gay; you won't have these types of problems anymore, albeit a new set of them. It'll probably be a shorter list overall, though. Speaking from experience...





dalsgaard said:


> I've tried, but didn't catch my interests. I agree it would probably be easier though


Gay men do have it a bit easier on their side of things. They're far more promiscuous for starters - moreso than the average Jill.


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## twoofthree (Aug 6, 2011)

Yardiff Bey said:


> Gay men do have it a bit easier on their side of things. They're far more promiscuous for starters - moreso than the average Jill.


Maybe it's just that gay men find you irresistible. . .


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## Yardiff Bey (Jun 5, 2011)

twoofthree said:


> Maybe it's just that gay men find you irresistible. . .


You make me laugh. :laughing:

I'm not gay - that's just from observing some gay guys.


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

dalsgaard said:


> I have complaints. A lot of women just lie there like a stiff board, and expect you to go about the whole business. The passivity is killing me, I've seen it again and again. Also, they often don't know how to give a proper blowjob because they don't wary their technique enough. They are almost always either too rough or too easy on their touch, and I would just wish more women would actually say what THEY want and take a little initiative once in a while. They like seducing us, but I'm so sick and tired of their lack of self-worth once we enter the bedroom. Some women are extremely lacking in confidence about their own bodies, because they think they have weird nipples or something, and then they become self-conscious and worried about how they look (Which just makes for boring sex, really). Another common thing is women who overplay it and say all the ridiculous stuff that you hear in porn movies, like: "Ohhh, it's soooo biiig!" (Right, I know how big it is, and I know you've probably seen bigger). Another thing is ridiculous myths women believe, like the whole "If I have sex with him on the first date, then he's not going to be interested in me for the long run", which is just a load of BS - though I suppose that doesn't have much to do with the sex itself.


All of which can be true. Let's face it, women are not "taught by other women" on how to have sex, just as men are not typically taught by men how to have sex; it's mostly an experimental thing and we have to figure things out as we go, including what we like and do not like. Considering the amount of misinformation out there, plus all the emotional baggage and trying to have sex while maintaining a relationship, it's a wonder people actually get good at it.

I also think good sex means being immersed in your body and your center of being, if that makes sense... where behavior becomes unconscious. Self-consciousness derails sex every time. Having sex when you're not into it or are just doing it out of duty is the same, sex is perfunctory, boring, and typically unsatisfying. I think both men and women want to have sex with someone who actually WANTS them (rather than just being a meat puppet) and who CONVEYS that desire fully.

I know the best sex I have is when I drop into the zone and so does he, and we are both just one organic, bound person, everything seems to just flow and I don't even have to think about what to do. It's a fluid dance where we are just stoking the connection higher and deeper, totally locked into each other. There is trust and desire and vulnerability and fearlessness.



> All in all: Men don't complain because they are not supposed to have any standards.


It doesn't seem like some guys do have standards ... any sex seems better than none... but pretty clearly not everyone fits into that category. Some women will also have sex just to keep a guy, even if they are not into it; but some women want more.


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

Yardiff Bey said:


> Gay men do have it a bit easier on their side of things. They're far more promiscuous for starters - moreso than the average Jill.


_For us, sex on the first date is a given. You figure out the hardware and the mismatches and then you move on._ _The problem is most guys don't know when to stop moving on._ (Eating Out)


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

I'm not convinced that being hard to please or easy to please has as much to do with gender as with individual sensitivity. 

There are irritating stereotypes, of course, about women not liking sex, and using it manipulatively as a commodity to buy security, and about men being constantly horny, able to orgasm easily in anything with a hole, without needing an emotional connection. The stereotypes are often the product of sexism, in both directions, because when someone is different, it is easy to see that person as "the enemy," exaggerating any slight natural differences in a way that makes the other person seem inferior. 

If the magazines and online articles are about how to please women, it is probably because of the widespread idea that women aren't interested in sex, that there is one right way that will make us suddenly enjoy it despite ourselves, and that men are the ones who always like it, no matter how it is done. 

The truth is that we are all individuals, with our own likes and dislikes. Articles about what men like, or what women like, are stupid, because not all men or women like the same things.


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## twoofthree (Aug 6, 2011)

Yardiff Bey said:


> You make me laugh. :laughing:
> 
> I'm not gay - that's just from observing some gay guys.


Ah. I thought you were speaking from your personal experiences of the sexual habits of gay men.


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## Yardiff Bey (Jun 5, 2011)

Jennywocky said:


> It doesn't seem like some guys do have standards ... any sex seems better than none... but pretty clearly not everyone fits into that category. Some women will also have sex just to keep a guy, even if they are not into it; but some women want more.


If you can't have good sex, you may eventually take whatever you can get. Even if it's bad or abusive, even if it hurts the emotions hidden deep inside.

I have sometimes wondered how many people have never had an experience of really good sex. That'd be another topic, though.


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

Yardiff Bey said:


> If you can't have good sex, you may eventually take whatever you can get. Even if it's bad or abusive, even if it hurts the emotions hidden deep inside.


Wonderful point.

I think a lot of us settle for things if we feel we'll never get anything better, even if we don't know specifically what "better" is. (I know I've done that at times in my life, not just with sex... but I've always lived to regret it and have been through it enough now to know it's just not worth it for a temporary respite.)



> I have sometimes wondered how many people have never had an experience of really good sex. That'd be another topic, though.


Go for it.


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## Yardiff Bey (Jun 5, 2011)

Jennywocky said:


> Wonderful point.
> 
> I think a lot of us settle for things if we feel we'll never get anything better, even if we don't know specifically what "better" is. (I know I've done that at times in my life, not just with sex... but I've always lived to regret it and have been through it enough now to know it's just not worth it for a temporary respite.)
> 
> Go for it.


I likewise have regretted it. Try to learn and not do that again. :/

The problem with not having an experience of really good sex is that you have nothing to compare it to. It would be so subjective that it would be difficult to judge. So I decline to put up that topic.


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## Vic (Dec 4, 2010)

It's a good experience or a bad experience. I think people know the difference between the two (relative to their interests), but are afraid to speak up or let go.


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## DustyDrill (May 20, 2011)

Women aren't satisfied because they're with men who don't really give a shit or think "Why bother?". Those guys are simply looking for a place to dispense their seed. They're living by their primal urges. I don't blame them, and it just makes it easier for those of us that give a shit about her satisfaction to have repeat performances. Don't worry about it, just learn to be decent in bed. It will all work out in the end.


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## Ephemerald (Aug 27, 2011)

I find this to be a lack of communication and planning between both partners. If you're having sex and you can't tell him what you like (or don't like) without opening your mouth, well... I don't have much sympathy for you. Research sex and know thy love! Seem like a bad idea? Get a new partner or I guess wing it having lower expectations. The rest comes from simple expression: say if I'm providing oral and she "adjusts" my placement with the brush of her hand, or I'll gently move her into a position (always keeping aware for responses), and she'll slightly push forward or pull away. A lack of information, understanding, intuition, sensitivity and familiarity are all recipes for disaster.


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## DustyDrill (May 20, 2011)

Ephemerald said:


> I find this to be a lack of communication and planning between both partners. If you're having sex and you can't tell him what you like (or don't like) without opening your mouth, well... I don't have much sympathy for you. Research sex and know thy love! The rest comes from simple expression, say if your providing oral and she "adjusts" your placement with the brush of her hand, I'll gently move her into a position (always keeping aware for responses), she'll slightly push forward or pull away.


I'm so gay for you right now.


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## Fleetfoot (May 9, 2011)

Ephemerald said:


> I find this to be a lack of communication and planning between both partners. If you're having sex and you can't tell him what you like (or don't like) without opening your mouth, well... I don't have much sympathy for you.


Whenever I do open my mouth, he just sticks his thing in there. I can't tell him with his thing in my mouth. XD


I agree with you and @DustyDrill though. Communication is key in any relationship, and if someone won't let you communicate with them (or they won't with you) they're not worth your time.


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## Hokahey (Oct 8, 2010)

It's basically just the design of men and women. A man's penis and it's nerve endings are external or at least at the surface, women have surface nerve endings as well, but they also have internal ones (male's are generally "less explored"), making "full" satisfaction harder to obtain. Mix that with the different chemicals involved in the "genera" male and female genders and this makes up the division.


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## The Shaktus (Apr 19, 2010)

Chris Rock on women sexually satisfying a man:

"Just because he came, don't mean you made him come." 
around the 5:40 mark:
https://www.youtube.com/embed/lPesKyIhGZg?rel=0


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## ficsci (May 4, 2011)

The Shaktus said:


> Chris Rock on women sexually satisfying a man:
> 
> "Just because he came, don't mean you made him come."
> around the 5:40 mark:
> https://www.youtube.com/embed/lPesKyIhGZg?rel=0


Lol, Chris Rock making comedy out of our sad, sexist world and the "prostitution" of women


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## Resolution (Feb 8, 2010)

Yardiff Bey said:


> Gay men do have it a bit easier on their side of things. They're far more promiscuous for starters - moreso than the average Jill.


Yeah, but from what I've heard from gay acquaintances... finding a good life partner can be a very very difficult process in the community. I've heard a lot of "It's easy to get laid, but so hard to find a partner." 

Leads me to believe that it's hard on gay idealists/romanticists (not to overgeneralize). 



dalsgaard said:


> I have complaints. A lot of women just lie there like a stiff board, and expect you to go about the whole business. The passivity is killing me, I've seen it again and again. Also, they often don't know how to give a proper blowjob because they don't wary their technique enough. They are almost always either too rough or too easy on their touch, and I would just wish more women would actually say what THEY want and take a little initiative once in a while. They like seducing us, but I'm so sick and tired of their lack of self-worth once we enter the bedroom. Some women are extremely lacking in confidence about their own bodies, because they think they have weird nipples or something, and then they become self-conscious and worried about how they look (Which just makes for boring sex, really). Another common thing is women who overplay it and say all the ridiculous stuff that you hear in porn movies, like: "Ohhh, it's soooo biiig!" (Right, I know how big it is, and I know you've probably seen bigger). Another thing is ridiculous myths women believe, like the whole "If I have sex with him on the first date, then he's not going to be interested in me for the long run", which is just a load of BS - though I suppose that doesn't have much to do with the sex itself.
> 
> So yes, I have complaints. I just don't talk about it a lot, because there is no need - it's not going to change, and I have a girlfriend who knows what I want, and I know what she wants. I once went to bed with a girl that refused to do anything at all. She didn't even utter a word, and when I tried talking to her she would just keep her mouth shut and not say anything. After trying to encourage her to be a little more active and participative (If I wanted to fuck a mannequin doll, I'd buy one), I simply gave up. Would it even be legal if I had done anything? I left her there, horny and frustrated (Damn she was angry the next day), but if she doesn't know how to turn me on, then nothing is ever going to happen anyway. These days I don't get a lot of sex, but I get the good kind when I finally do.
> 
> All in all: Men don't complain because they are not supposed to have any standards.


Great post. Agree on all points.

I know culture is rough on girls right now... but honestly... fuck that culture bullshit. It's sex, let's enjoy ourselves, right?



Modifier said:


> who knows maybe you think you are ? but you arent


Dude... honestly, what the hell are you on about? 

Look the word "satisfied" up in the dictionary, and then come back and tell me how someone can not be satisfied even if they think they are. If someone thinks they're satisfied, they ARE satisfied... _because satisfaction is a state of mind_. If someone believes they are then they are. 

I'm serious, look up the word and think about it, because you're doing English wrong.


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Modifier said:


> well its a universal fact ask any guy outside this website in real life okay do a little test tomorrow ask 10 guys the same question they will tell you . I will be glad to hear your answer


Ask them what? There is scientific proof that women and men (and anything in between) can and do have sexual responses. You know, orgasms. The thing that women can have MULTIPLE of.

And some people don't need just the orgasm to be sexually satisfied, the act can be good on its own.


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## Mendi the ISFJ (Jul 28, 2011)

William I am said:


> Uh... yeah. Sex should never be a tool or something used to get power over people.


maybe not, but it is often


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

Mendi the ISFJ said:


> *it all comes down to which sex actually wants sex more*, because the one that can control itself more has the power.


... What... ?


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## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

Mendi the ISFJ said:


> is that a question? *every single cosmopolitan magazine has tips on "how to please men". *that was my point, but thanks for your punctuation.


And every single man would also have tips on how to please them.

Cosmo is stereotyping men and demoting communication skills in relationships.


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## William I am (May 20, 2011)

Mendi the ISFJ said:


> maybe not, but it is often


Be the change you wish to see.


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## Mendi the ISFJ (Jul 28, 2011)

WamphyriThrall said:


> ... What... ?


what are you questioning?


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

Mendi the ISFJ said:


> what are you questioning?


Just the bolded



> *it all comes down to which sex actually wants sex more*


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## Mendi the ISFJ (Jul 28, 2011)

WamphyriThrall said:


> Just the bolded


what are u questioning about it?


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

Mendi the ISFJ said:


> what are u questioning about it?


The validity of said premise?


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## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

WamphyriThrall said:


> The validity of said premise?


In that there's more to sex than being horny?


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## Mendi the ISFJ (Jul 28, 2011)

when questioning sexual control, it would come down to who wants it more, because the other party could just go without.


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## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

Mendi the ISFJ said:


> when questioning sexual control, it would come down to who wants it more, because the other party could just go without.


To reference your signature:

Showing desire is _*not *_a weakness. :dry:


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

MissJordan said:


> In that there's more to sex than being horny?


I misinterpreted what she meant as one sex naturally desires sex more than the other, instead of by a situational context where one partner will want it more than the other, although even then, it's not always the case.


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## Mendi the ISFJ (Jul 28, 2011)

MissJordan said:


> To reference your signature:
> 
> Showing desire is _*not *_a weakness. :dry:


lol i bet you are thinking im frigid now right bunny?


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## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

Mendi the ISFJ said:


> lol i bet you are thinking im frigid now right bunny?


More along the lines of manipulative and hypocritical.


But that's just because I fail to see how abusing someone sexually is different to abusing them emotionally.


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## Mendi the ISFJ (Jul 28, 2011)

MissJordan said:


> More along the lines of manipulative and hypocritical.


just because i notice something doesnt mean i do it.


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## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

Mendi the ISFJ said:


> just because i notice something doesnt mean i do it.


And I notice homophobia.
But _I_ act to stop it, when I see it.


It seems you've just accepted that sex is a tool, rather than do something to change other people's views on it -- which by doing so, has impacted _your _views on it.


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## Mr.Xl Vii (Jan 19, 2011)

1. Cosmo doesn't know shit about men. It's typically articles written by women to other women to get them to buy their magazine witha tag line that will draw in women. Most of that shit doesn't work.

2. Women in this country for some reason play this bullshit passive role in sex that is obnoxious. It's supposed to be mutual, it is not my job to *make* you orgasm. No more than it's your job to make me orgasm. It's supposed to be an active process between the two of us that allows us to both mutually orgasm. But the puritanical submissive patriarchal bullshit is so fucking interwoven in all aspects of our lives that women seem to just fucking lie there and expect for me to be mister machismo and bring you to climax through telepathy or some shit. Fucking communicate and join the fun. 

3. Women complain more because they're allowed to complain more in our society because us men are so menacing. It's not 1950 anymore. Men born past 1985 for the most part are docile and aren't as domineering as they used to be. Can we as a fucking society move past this shit. 

Everyone likes sex. Ladies stop holding it over people's heads like a fucking prize that should be won after you do some fucking Pavlovian nonsense you've trained us to do, and guys try to ask your women what they like specifically since they dont seem inclined to tell us.


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## AussieChick (Dec 27, 2010)

@Andrewoo have you tried sexinfo101.com,the amount of guys on the forum there that complain about their female partners.
We women don't complain,we just want our partners to hear us and the best way to do it is by asking for advice on forums such as this and the sex sites.If we speak to our partners directly they think we are putting them down and yes "complaining' and "whining".I agree with @Eerie and @Kelly617 that women's bodies are more complicated than men's and that it takes more stimulation and expertise to get us to climax.It took me years to get to the stage where I was able to achieve fantastic orgasms and not feel bad about it.I actually taught myself by reading the female masturbation tips on sexinfo101.com.My estranged husband never cared about how I felt during sex.It was all about him,and his needs being met,but my current partner likes to get me to orgasm at least three times before we even have intercourse.And I often have to finish myself off afterwards because even though he satisfies me to the max I still have heaps more in me.


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## The Proof (Aug 5, 2009)

Andrewoo said:


> I always give my girlfriend what she wants


have you ever considered that that might be your mistake? just sayin..

I don't think your gf would like you any less if one day you say "look, Ive thought about it and there will be some changes in our relationship, from now on sex will always be spontaneous"

my two cents have been transferred to your account


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## twoofthree (Aug 6, 2011)

Mr.Xl Vii said:


> Everyone likes sex. Ladies stop holding it over people's heads like a fucking prize that should be won after you do some fucking Pavlovian nonsense you've trained us to do, and guys try to ask your women what they like specifically since they dont seem inclined to tell us.


Just as soon as society stops derating us for liking it.


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