# PTSD after car crash



## Elvira (Dec 1, 2011)

Hi everyone 
I already wrote a little bit out this issue on another thread, but it was more about the feasibility of living without a car, rather than the psychological impact of a car accident. I was involved in a car accident, and it was totally my fault. I was lost, very sleep-deprived, and in a hurry. I had previously written the directions down on a piece of paper, so I glanced down at it when I realized I was lost. I looked up and suddenly realized I ran a read light, and since I was already in the middle of the intersection, there was nothing else to do but to go on. I saw a car coming on a side street, and I just stayed put as he hit into me, because I figured it would be more dangerous than accelerating. He hit the front part of the car, my bumper fell off, and the headlight was smashed. My dad fixed the car (he was a mechanic), but he said body shops in the area would have written it off as 'totaled'. Thank God no one was hurt! It was a miracle that no one was injured, and the boy I hit was very kind about the whole ordeal. His car luckily just suffered minor scrapes.

The wreck happened about a month ago, and since then, I have not been myself. I've been crying a lot more and I still have flashbacks of the incident, especially when I try to sleep. When I think about the whole thing, I just have this horrible anxious feeling, and I have the urge to cry. I haven't driven except to go to a little pizza shop about 2 minutes from my house. I still haven't driven back to the town where I crashed, even though I'm very familiar with it (just not the part where I crashed) and there's a lot of things I need there. My self-esteem has really tanked and I feel irresponsible, anxious and depressed. (But I was actually in town that day to schedule an appointment for a college summer class...I considered myself a very responsible person before. I had to end up cancelling the class since I didn't have transportation). I get very worked up whenever anyone else mentions the accident (my dad announced it to some relatives today; I felt like crying and leaving the room).

I feel hyper-sensitive to anything dealing with cars and car wrecks (like certain TV commercials). I can't help but think that I could have _killed_ someone. I also live in the middle of the country, so there is no way to _not_ drive. I don't have a part time job this summer (I'm a college student), so I've felt really stuck inside the house, which just makes me feel more useless and depressed.

I'm really struggling to cope with these feelings. I know it could have been a lot worse, and while that idea brings comfort, it also scares the beejezus out of me. I think, "I was _that _close to hurting/killing someone."

I understand that I made a mistake, and I don't want these emotions to take control over my life anymore than they have already. Before this happened, I was extremely ambitious, looking for part-time jobs and opportunities to job shadow. I was pretty content with life and exciting about the future. Now, I feel a sense of dread/anxiety with me almost all the time. How do I process these emotions and let them go in order to recover psychologically?


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## Duck_of_Death (Jan 21, 2011)

Understandable. The first time I got into a car accident, I had trouble with the mere thought of driving for about 6 months. And this was a minor fender bender, mind you.

I would recommend exposure therapy. Getting back on the horse. Continue to drive with an alternate vehicle and revisit the part of town you crashed in. And get out of your house. The last thing you want to do is isolate yourself and allow the negative feelings and thoughts weigh you down. Trapping yourself in a loop of anxiety will only compound the problems tenfold.


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## Skum (Jun 27, 2010)

I'm sorry you're struggling  You have a lot you're dealing with. Yes, car accidents are common, but they affect us in wildly different ways and can wreak psychological havoc. I actually know a guy who got treatment for PTSD after he was in an accident, and your symptoms do seem suggestive of PTS. Exposure therapy could help, like Duck_of_Death mentioned, but it has also been a blow to your self esteem rather than just a phobia of cars. 
Look up books about PTSD. If you can, arrange a therapy appointment. Do you live in a college town? Most big universities have a medical center nearby. Get someone to drive you to the area, that way they can do their own thing on campus and you can take any of the uni trams over to the medical center. If that won't work, look up bus schedules.
There are also programs for counseling that aren't within hospitals but from what my friend told me the quality can vary greatly. Just try to look up as much information as you can. Knowledge is power!

Good luck to you, you seem really bright and have a lot going for you. I hope you find something that works!


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## Elvira (Dec 1, 2011)

Skum said:


> I'm sorry you're struggling  You have a lot you're dealing with. Yes, car accidents are common, but they affect us in wildly different ways and can wreak psychological havoc. I actually know a guy who got treatment for PTSD after he was in an accident, and your symptoms do seem suggestive of PTS. Exposure therapy could help, like Duck_of_Death mentioned, but it has also been a blow to your self esteem rather than just a phobia of cars.
> Look up books about PTSD. If you can, arrange a therapy appointment. Do you live in a college town? Most big universities have a medical center nearby. Get someone to drive you to the area, that way they can do their own thing on campus and you can take any of the uni trams over to the medical center. If that won't work, look up bus schedules.
> There are also programs for counseling that aren't within hospitals but from what my friend told me the quality can vary greatly. Just try to look up as much information as you can. Knowledge is power!
> 
> Good luck to you, you seem really bright and have a lot going for you. I hope you find something that works!


Thank you both for your advice. I don't live in a university town during the summer because I live at home (where we don't have buses, unfortunately!). But during college, I live in the residence halls. We also have counseling services for free, so I might take advantage of that (I had contemplated going before but never did; I guess I was worried what people would think.). We also have a bus system there that I really want to master  So during the academic year, it _is_ possible to get around by bus; I've just been too afraid to try it (I've had a fear of being lost for long time, but I think I need to get lost sooner or later so I can show myself that I can find my way back! lol).

Talking to the therapist at college might be really helpful; I would just have to wait a month and a half for when I go back to the dorms. I actually took one of her classes and she seems like a really sweet person.

It's strange; I think that the accident has gotten me thinking about death a lot too, since it could have ended fatally. My mom passed away (from something totally non-automobile related) when I was eleven, so it definitely stirs up memories for me. I understand that it's not healthy to run away from things like that, but at the same time, it's probably not healthy to think about them and worry about them so much like I do. But I think that if I hadn't lost a parent at that young of an age, the car wreck probably wouldn't have freaked me out as much, because I wouldn't have these painful memories from the past to correlate with the event. I know it seems unrelated, but I realized that I often think of the two together.

And maybe I can see if I can hitch a ride with a friend to job shadow, since I have a friend who works in that city. I just hate feeling 'held' back, but don't want to throw myself into driving again either. I guess it takes baby steps.


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