# I don't have anyone...



## TheCuttlefish (Sep 8, 2011)

Well I'm just a really problematic person...
Now a lot of my good friends are completely gone from my life...
The few friends I still have don't talk to me...
My girlfriend who was amazing for the entirety of our relationship turned into a complete bit h almost overnight and flat-out told me she doesn't love me anymore a few days later for no reason...
My family members either can't contact me or have no respect for me...
I feel completely isolated right now... I have no idea what I should do and I feel no motivation to keep living...


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## Bear987 (May 13, 2012)

@TheCuttlefish

What happened? What did you do? Or maybe, better yet: what are you going to do?


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## TheCuttlefish (Sep 8, 2011)

Bear987 said:


> @_TheCuttlefish_
> 
> What happened? What did you do? Or maybe, better yet: what are you going to do?


I don't know how to answer any of those questions right now...


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## Bear987 (May 13, 2012)

TheCuttlefish said:


> I don't know how to answer any of those questions right now...


That's okay. I just read back your original post. If you feel isolated, maybe hanging around the cafe will help a little. From where I sit; and without even knowing you personally, I know you've got what it takes to overcome whatever is troubling you now. I know, because you are human. And what one man can do, so can another. Thousands of people have experienced what you're going through right now and hundreds of thousands have had experiences worse than you - and guess what? They all made it through somehow. It's what we humans do best: accepting and working our way through the difficulties we encounter. And you are one of us. Hang in there.


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## TheCuttlefish (Sep 8, 2011)

Bear987 said:


> That's okay. I just read back your original post. If you feel isolated, maybe hanging around the cafe will help a little. From where I sit; and without even knowing you personally, I know you've got what it takes to overcome whatever is troubling you now. I know, because you are human. And what one man can do, so can another. Thousands of people have experienced what you're going through right now and hundreds of thousands have had experiences worse than you - and guess what? They all made it through somehow. It's what we humans do best: accepting and working our way through the difficulties we encounter. And you are one of us. Hang in there.


From my experience I'm sure I don't belong in any group...
Honestly I don't see how life could get any better right now...


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## StElmosDream (May 26, 2012)

I used to feel the same (still do at times)... what really helps is facing personal demons and reading more about others or being around people for different perspectives. Honestly it sounds like you really need to learn how to trust yourself and not 'need others' so much, especially when so few know how to truly self reflect or learn from introspective periods (reading psychology, therapy and taking a long hard look at ourselves is often necessary)... it all starts in self talk-success or failure thinking, realising our own life goals or contributions and learning the significance of projections/transference(self awareness in conversation or judgements of ourselves/others).


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## Bear987 (May 13, 2012)

TheCuttlefish said:


> From my experience I'm sure I don't belong in any group...
> Honestly I don't see how life could get any better right now...


I hear you and I believe you when you say that things totally suck for you right now. I wish I could do something meaningful for you right now, but apart from writing down these lines I cannot think of anything. Can you think of something that you'd like answered or --- what is it you want from me right now? What can I do?


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## TheCuttlefish (Sep 8, 2011)

Bear987 said:


> I hear you and I believe you when you say that things totally suck for you right now. I wish I could do something meaningful for you right now, but apart from writing down these lines I cannot think of anything. Can you think of something that you'd like answered or --- what is it you want from me right now? What can I do?


There's nothing that I'd actually want from anyone right now....


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## donkeybals (Jan 13, 2011)

There's a vent section in spam world, if you feel like venting and don't want anything back. 

It sounds like you're in a bad state right now, you'll get over it in time. Also, you might want to set up a couple of goals for yourself when your done moping.


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## nakkinaama (Jun 20, 2012)

Start to get to know people, do something interesting. Go travelling! That way you can get new friends too. Try...


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## nakkinaama (Jun 20, 2012)

Take your time in life, relax. Youve been through alot. No one has to be a robot and carry on like that. No one has to be in a group, be on your own. Its alot more relaxing that way.


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## Jetsune Lobos (Apr 23, 2012)

Fireflies do good for the imagery here.

So for the sake of being retarded, just imagine yourself as a firefly (having doses of silly and nonsensical thoughts tends to do wonders when trying to get out of a rut, also).

Fireflies have a neat little existence in which you have no idea that they even do until they shine that brilliant little glow of theirs and miraculously become so fascinating to the cursory glance that they invoke this childish urge in you to capture and admire them in all of their entirety. Even despite how quickly they fade back into nothing, we'll still wait on our tip-toes just to see them shine once more.

And this is you. Right now. Covered in a blanket of permeating blackness with no light at the end of any tunnel. But people, like fireflies (figuratively, still, of course) are capable of making their own light whether they're aware of it or not, and find little merit in waiting for somebody else to get them out of that tunnel. The thing is though is that you _are_ aware that you can shine, even if not at the moment, on some level and to some degree, you are. Guess how I know, and know you should know?



TheCuttlefish said:


> a lot of my good friends
> My girlfriend


Your friends may be fewer now and neglect you, but it is up to *you* and you only to find out why exactly that is. You were not born with this inescapable disease to where finding companionship and love are an impossibility for you. The fact that you had friends _and_ a girlfriend at one point are proof of this alone. You say you are a problematic person, but aren't we all? 'Tis the burden of being alive.

So you can live, you can shine, and if you truly believed you were ever alone in this world, what was ever the good in casting your light out onto it in the first place?


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## Razare (Apr 21, 2009)

TheCuttlefish said:


> I have no idea what I should do and I feel no motivation to keep living...


Well, I have to admit that life is pretty boring.

A lot of people get allured by the shiny things and think that'll bring them happiness, it doesn't though. And relationships? They seem to come and go... If a person is content to constantly churn through different people in their life, I suppose it can be something fun for them... but a lot of us have problems meeting new people once we reach a certain age.

I wish you luck though in finding something new in your life which brings you hope and contentment.


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## Splash Shin (Apr 7, 2011)

Man up. You can't grow without feeling pain. pain is necessary to be a success. The harder the pain, the better the lesson and the greater you become afterwards.

Don't let the pain consume you forever, that is the way to loose.


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## TheCuttlefish (Sep 8, 2011)

Splash Shin said:


> Man up. You can't grow without feeling pain. pain is necessary to be a success. The harder the pain, the better the lesson and the greater you become afterwards.
> 
> Don't let the pain consume you forever, that is the way to loose.


Well then I guess I'm a born loser. I'm not built to tolerate pain.
I'm honestly not built for anything.
I'm a pointless waste of energy and matter that could be used for a better purpose.
I know that life won't ever give me peace, so I just hope death will...


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## Splash Shin (Apr 7, 2011)

TheCuttlefish said:


> Well then I guess I'm a born loser. I'm not built to tolerate pain.
> I'm honestly not built for anything.
> I'm a pointless waste of energy and matter that could be used for a better purpose.
> I know that life won't ever give me peace, so I just hope death will...



Look pal, I'll tell you right now, I have no sympathy for you.
To your post: don't even try to tell me that shit. i don't want to hear it, neither do you. Drop the defeatist attitude. There is nothing more detrimental.

for a start, I assume you live in a first world country if your posting here. your already many times above most of the worlds population. Put your pain into perspective first. If not, your using the internet. you can read and write. still puts you miles above.

Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, an hour, a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If you quit, however, it lasts forever.
If your contemplating suicide, your pain wont end with it. your pain will magnify. To all those around you. The pain isn't solved or ended, its just increased and sent back around in a greater quantity. It isn't a resolve or a solution, its giving up. giving into the pain forever, and sharing it with everyone who ever cared.

The only way to eradicate it, is to not give up. it WILL eventually go.

Pain can be seen as leaving your comfort zone to fix your problems. If you sit in that zone for to long, you get to comfy. you can't reach success from your comfort zone. believe me.


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## caramel_choctop (Sep 20, 2010)

TheCuttlefish said:


> Well then I guess I'm a born loser. I'm not built to tolerate pain.
> I'm honestly not built for anything.
> I'm a pointless waste of energy and matter that could be used for a better purpose.
> I know that life won't ever give me peace, so I just hope death will...


a) No one is any more of a "pointless waste of energy and matter" than anyone else. Here's the deal: we are all equally meaningless, in which case every single human being is in the same boat as you and you might as well make the best of it.
b) I can't give you any advice on how to stop being avoidant or stop seeking "peace". I'm not exactly the most adventurous person out there. Except this: suicide has repercussions. *Your family will be devastated.*
c) Pain comes to all of us whether we like it or not; to some more than to others, perhaps, but it's not something you can avoid. Same with every other emotion. Good things and bad things.


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## nakkinaama (Jun 20, 2012)

Your days will be wonderful and easier when you decide to move on. There will be life in you, I promise, listen to the guys giving you advices.


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## nakkinaama (Jun 20, 2012)

Yolo !!!!


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## EbonyTigger (Apr 13, 2012)

@TheCuttlefish *hugs* I know the emotional place you're in, I know those demons well - the way to show the "demons" who's boss is to keep talking here and not give up *gives hug*

My inbox is always open if there's anything I can do to help *gives you another hug then slips out of your thread*


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## StElmosDream (May 26, 2012)

midnightstar said:


> *hugs* I know the emotional place you're in, I know those demons well - the way to show the "demons" who's boss is to keep talking here and not give up *gives hug*
> 
> My inbox is always open if there's anything I can do to help *gives you another hug then slips out of your thread*


@_TheCuttlefish_
Agreed although people have to be willing to not discredit support or understanding offered, just because it may seem harsh or unexpectedly accurate. My PM box is always open as well.


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## Raichan (Jul 15, 2010)

TheCuttlefish said:


> Well I'm just a really problematic person...
> Now a lot of my good friends are completely gone from my life...
> The few friends I still have don't talk to me...
> My girlfriend who was amazing for the entirety of our relationship turned into a complete bit h almost overnight and flat-out told me she doesn't love me anymore a few days later for no reason...
> ...


Some people get surrounded by others but still feel just as alone, especially with enormous mental pain inflicted by people they were supposed to trust.

Start by telling yourself that it took some courage and honesty to admit all of the above.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

TheCuttlefish said:


> Well I'm just a really problematic person...
> Now a lot of my good friends are completely gone from my life...
> The few friends I still have don't talk to me...
> My girlfriend who was amazing for the entirety of our relationship turned into a complete bit h almost overnight and flat-out told me she doesn't love me anymore a few days later for no reason...
> ...


IMHO, your problems are too advanced for an online advice fourm. You need professional help, ASAP.


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## Blacktide (Sep 16, 2012)

In my experience the first step to having friends and a successful relationship of any sort, is to feel good about yourself and be a happy person. People want to spend time with those who make them feel better. If one was always really complaining and sad would you want to hang out with them?

So my best advice I can give you is try to find a situation where you can feel good about yourself first, like trying a new hobby, exercising video games, reading or anything else you like. Once get a bit of your self esteem back you making and keeping friends should no longer be an issue.


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