# Why A Prostitute Is Better Than Dating If You Are A Heterosexual Male



## serenesam (Jul 26, 2011)

1). _If you are the type of man that have a high sexual appetite, a prostitute might be better for you because you get immediate gratification_. The problem with dating is that not every woman is going to sleep or have sex with you on the first date. I even recall from the canceled CBS reality show “3” in which all of the women even felt uncomfortable kissing on the first date as well as at the end of their first date during the evening hours. Some of them won’t engage in sexual activity with you even on the second, third, fourth, and subsequent dates. Some women feel more comfortable in that they need to get to know someone before actual intimacy. As Donald Trump once said, “you have to be friends first.” It is very apparent that the act of dating may constitute spending more money through a series of dates before the act of sexual intercourse compared to spending money for a one-time event with a prostitute.

2). _Dating is very time consuming_. The act of going out on several occasions, making conversations of each other’s life, talking about things, spending money on gas, and getting to know each other takes up a considerable amount of time compared to the precise calculation of time spent with a prostitute. Life is very short especially if you are a heterosexual male who might have had a wife that died or someone in the middle-age to elder-age years where your sperm may start to become weaker. Having to wait several months just to have sex may be something that turns you off as time is very precious. In addition, not to sound cliché but there is a saying that “time equals money.” So while you might not actually be spending real money where you could literally take notes of debits and credits on a piece of paper, the amount of time of having to wait may be painful to you both psychologically and physically and so the little time spent with a prostitute is why the prostitute is the better route. Furthermore, the amount of time you spend may be better spent facilitating your act of working especially if you are a workaholic, which would allow you to accumulate more money through that act.

3). _The simple act of having to put up with somebody else could be a pain_. Choosing the loving relationship route means you are going to have to deal with all the other issues not associated with a discrete relationship with a prostitute. You might end up having to attend therapy and that is a waste of time having to speak to a mental health professional. This could be painful if you are really the type of man that isn’t invested in emotion and feelings, something that apparently according to research, women seem to want, that “emotional bond.” You might have to take care of her if she is sick like with the flu or a cold, do some favors for her, buy her presents during the holidays, and all other stuff.

4). _Dating someone means that you are also going to have to deal with in-laws whereas a prostitute, you don’t have to worry about any of that_. This one is very self-explanatory so I don’t think I need to elaborate. Let’s just say that some in-laws can be a pain. The music video “It Will Rain” by Bruno Mars can help people understand this: 



 
5). _The benefit of choosing a prostitute equates to a worry-free state of mind when it comes to pregnancy_. When you in a committed long-term relationship, there may be this fear that you could get her pregnant. If she is pregnant, you might have to deal with the painful issue of abortion and if she gives birth, you might have to prepare to deal with spending money on child support especially if there divorce in the future. All that wasteful money could just be better spent with a prostitute or even an escort as you can derive pleasure from that, but you won’t be able to obtain immediate gratification with having to constantly pay child support for 18 years.

6). _Prostitutes may engage in the kind of sexual activity that your girlfriend or wife might not be comfortable with_. This could explain why some men prefer prostitutes and I believe there was even a TV talk show that had guests of men saying this. Contrary to the lovely-duckly-almost-spiritual-like notion that your spouse may provide a more pleasing pleasurable experience, the sexual experience with a prostitute may actually be better but this description is very difficult to explain in words.

7). _If you are suffering from a mental illness, it might actually be better to go the prostitute route compared to the dating route_. From what I have researched, people with bipolar disorder have a 90% failure rate and so when you combine all the complications with having to deal with a dating relationship, it should be obvious why the prostitute route may be better. Even just speaking generally like any other mental disorder, the patience in some other women may be too much for them to handle. I think most people regardless as to whether they are male or female don’t want to have to put up with somebody’s mental illness as I believe there is strong evidence noting the stigma associated with mental illness on a more broad-scale and macro-analysis viewpoint.

8). _The long-term amount of money spent on prostitutes may actually be a better deal for you compared to a real relationship especially if you are a rich heterosexual male_. While some may say that prostitutes can be expensive, doing a cost-benefit analysis, the benefits may actually outweigh the costs taking into account all of the previously mentioned points in the above that may have nothing to do with money. In the event of a divorce (which is likely especially these days), be prepared to lose out on a lot of money if you don’t have a prenup. If you have kids, be prepared to spend money on them besides the child support if you love them and want the best for them (like taking them with you on vacation, etc.).


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## Brian1 (May 7, 2011)

I'd rather take my chances buying marijuana that soliciting a prostitute,mainly because cops pose as prostitutes, and I'd have better chances at getting busted, no pun intended,if I were to try and buy sex.


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## Diphenhydramine (Apr 9, 2010)

I wonder if anyone has ever lived anywhere with a high degree of very visible public prostitution.


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## clairdelunatic (Mar 20, 2013)

lol. This is funny.  And possibly correct. (But I'm not a heterosexual male, so I can't say.)

Is it ever advisable, though, to choose a course of action because you're avoiding the pitfalls of the alternative?

I'm sure this advice could make sense for someone. (Or maybe even... _twelve _people.) In the same way that a doctor might recommend diet and exercise to a thousand people but then recommend gastric bypass to one person.

If you go this route, please take care of yourself. Physically but also ... there may be emotional complications you're not considering. (But maybe thinking that is precisely what betrays that I'm _not_ a heterosexual male. That and... biology.)


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## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

Alright, so what's casual sex?


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## serenesam (Jul 26, 2011)

Brian1 said:


> I'd rather take my chances buying marijuana that soliciting a prostitute,mainly because cops pose as prostitutes, and I'd have better chances at getting busted, no pun intended,if I were to try and buy sex.


Prostitution is actually legal in certain parts of Nevada. Other countries actually have brothels too. I believe in Hong Kong, cops don’t really do sting operations.


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## Shahada (Apr 26, 2010)

Diphenhydramine said:


> I wonder if anyone has ever lived anywhere with a high degree of very visible public prostitution.


Some people have, just probably not anyone who thinks its some kind of really cool and normal and healthy thing.


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## DemonD (Jun 12, 2012)

Your premise appears to be based on a heterosexual male who is after sex, rather than a relationship. 

Not just any straight male.


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## Diphenhydramine (Apr 9, 2010)

Shahada said:


> Some people have, just probably not anyone who thinks its some kind of really cool and normal and healthy thing.


 Oh, you would be surprised. I've met some seriously disgusting prostitute-lovers in my time in "Sin City."


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## CosmicJalapeno (Sep 27, 2011)

Diphenhydramine said:


> I wonder if anyone has ever lived anywhere with a high degree of very visible public prostitution.


If you count the internet as a public place than it's everywhere. All you need to do is go on websites like backage and you can have a prostitute at your door just as fast as a pizza.


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## Diphenhydramine (Apr 9, 2010)

CosmicJalapeno said:


> If you count the internet as a public place than it's everywhere. All you need to do is go on websites like backage and you can have a prostitute at your door just as fast as a pizza.


 No, I didn't mean the internet. I mean literally being harassed on the street by prostitutes (lol.)


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## CosmicJalapeno (Sep 27, 2011)

DemonD said:


> Your premise appears to be based on a heterosexual male who is after sex, rather than a relationship.
> 
> Not just any straight male.


This right here. Plus, why pay when you can go to a party and get laid for free? I mean, I guess there are draw backs to that if dont like parties or having to socialize.


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## serenesam (Jul 26, 2011)

CosmicJalapeno said:


> This right here. Plus, why pay when you can go to a party and get laid for free? I mean, I guess there are draw backs to that if dont like parties or having to socialize.


What if you have a physical handicap like your neck being crooked (no contagious disease of course)? What if you are unattractive and no woman wants to sleep with you because they rather sleep with a strong-alpha male type that is highly attractive? What if you have poor social skills or anxiety?

Here's an article showing one local government in Amsterdam paying for prostitutes for the disabled: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/7945785/Councils-pay-for-prostitutes-for-the-disabled.html

Here's another one:

Jurgen Van Acker is 27 years old and severely handicapped. He cannot walk, talk, sit or eat, but mentally there is nothing wrong with him. With the help of his computer he can communicate. Recently he became a television celebrity in Belgium when he asked that the welfare office pay his prostitutes.

Source: http://www.canadafreepress.com/2005/brussels112205.htm


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

If all you want is a detached exchange of bodily fluids & sexual release, then this may solve your "problem". It seems like a rather lonely, sad, selfish way to exist though. I suppose I am not so simplistic nor satisfied by human relationships which are reduced to a business deal (and no, I'm not a man).

If you want a real connection with another human being, to truly know & be known, to give & receive love based on intrinsic value & not just what someone does for you, then this will not satisfy you. A relationship requires more time & energy, true, but it's also more rewarding. It's not "work" if you stop viewing things as a means to end and instead appreciate the process as a part of the point.

In the OP, women are just a product to be bought & used to accomplish some specific goal. If you just want sex, someone to clean/cook, and someone to raise your children, then yeah, get a prostitute, a maid and a nanny. Don't confuse a marriage or relationship with someone fulfilling those roles though; that is no substitute.


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## Sovereign (Aug 19, 2011)

OrangeAppled said:


> If all you want is a detached exchange of bodily fluids & sexual release, then this may solve your "problem". It seems like a rather lonely, sad, selfish way to exist though. I suppose I am not so simplistic nor satisfied by human relationships which are reduced to a business deal (and no, I'm not a man).
> 
> If you want a real connection with another human being, to truly know & be known, to give & receive love based on intrinsic value & not just what someone does for you, then this will not satisfy you. A relationship requires more time & energy, true, but it's also more rewarding. It's not "work" if you stop viewing things as a means to end and instead appreciate the process as a part of the point.
> 
> In the OP, women are just a product to be bought & used to accomplish some specific goal. If you just want sex, someone to clean/cook, and someone to raise your children, then yeah, get a prostitute, a maid and a nanny. Don't confuse a marriage or relationship with someone fulfilling those roles though; that is no substitute.


I think the OP assumes that even a "real" relationship is a business deal, and I find that characterization to be more or less accurate. Two (or more!) persons gain mutual utility through an interpersonal exchange. No money is transferred, but value is transferred nonetheless. If any party gets substantially less utility than they were expecting from the relationship, they are likely to terminate the arrangement, just like a business deal.

You're merely expressing one example relating to what form the deal takes, what value is gained/lost by the parties involved, and the method of transferring that value, and calling it a "relationship".


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## Nirel (Oct 21, 2012)

Lol what a provocative thread title, if I was desperate enough to have a fake relationship I would rather just doing drugs and get a better deal.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

Sovereign said:


> I think the OP assumes that even a "real" relationship is a business deal, and I find that characterization to be more or less accurate. Two (or more!) persons gain mutual utility through an interpersonal exchange. No money is transferred, but value is transferred nonetheless. If any party gets substantially less utility than they were expecting from the relationship, they are likely to terminate the arrangement, just like a business deal.
> 
> You're merely expressing one example relating to what form the deal takes, what value is gained/lost by the parties involved, and the method of transferring that value, and calling it a "relationship".


No, because a "real relationship" based on love is not valuing someone based _on what you get_. It's valuing someone for _who they are_, regardless of a _role_. This is what I mean by their _intrinsic value_. This is not an exchange, because _it asks nothing back_. It's recognizing the value of someone _outside of context_ & being moved to act unselfishly on that. A healthy relationship is when this is mutual, yes, but even as it works in tandem it's not _based_ on even exchange. This is why people continue to love even when the functioning relationship ends. But _without love_, a "functioning relationship" is then just a business deal. 

I'll use my dance metaphor - sometimes, when one partner is tired or less adept, the other does more work to keep moving in sync with each other, to adjust to the changing tempos. There are times when things are not even, and a focus on tit for tat will cause you to quit because you're counting steps now & not seeing the whole flow. But a focus on the value of the other person as unrelated to what they do for you, but WHO they ARE, will move you to push forward because you want to protect & maintain that something of value (the other person). Yes, there is faith that this will be reciprocated, but that is not the _motivation_.

But if you view & treat relationships like a business deal, then that is what you will get, and a significant aspect of life, perhaps THE ultimate aspect that trumps sex by infinity, will never be experienced by you.

"For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation." - Rilke


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## Sovereign (Aug 19, 2011)

OrangeAppled said:


> No, because a "real relationship" based on love is not valuing someone based _on what you get_.


Excellent. So, if you get physical, mental, and emotional abuse, I assume that will not affect this "real relationship," because you're not valuing it on what you get? 



> It's valuing someone for _who they are_, regardless of a _role_.


I can agree here; a defined "role" is not what's necessary; it's the exchange of mutual utility. 



> This is what I mean by their _intrinsic value_. This is not an exchange, because _it asks nothing back_.


I posit that it does. "Love" might ask nothing back, but it's not a "relationship" unless something is returned. You can't just go around substituting the terms "love" and "relationship" to suit your whims. 



> It's recognizing the value of someone _outside of context_ & being moved to act unselfishly on that.


An admirable definition for love, if I do say so myself. Unfortunately, that has little to do with the definition of a relationship. 



> A healthy relationship is when this is mutual, yes, but even as it works in tandem it's not _based_ on even exchange. This is why people continue to love even when the functioning relationship ends. But _without love_, a "functioning relationship" is then just a business deal.


"Love" does not change the "business deal" nature of a relationship. "Love" is just another type of utility to be exchanged. Giving "love" without receiving it (or something comparable) in return is not a relationship, and is thus not a business deal. It's a gift. 

Conversely, a relationship with love is still a business deal, with the utility/value exchanged being measured party in "love" (and likely other things as well). In this instance, "love" is little different than any other service. 



> I'll use my dance metaphor - sometimes, when one partner is tired or less adept, the other does more work to keep moving in sync with each other, to adjust to the changing tempos. There are times when things are not even, and a focus on tit for tat will cause you to quit because you're counting steps now & not seeing the whole flow. But a focus on the value of the other person as unrelated to what they do for you, but WHO they ARE, will move you to push forward because you want to protect & maintain that something of value (the other person). Yes, there is faith that this will be reciprocated, but that is not the _motivation_.


But you've failed to address my point: WHY are you dancing in the first place? Or rephrased: Why would you enter a relationship with someone? There is always a reason. True selflessness does not exist; if nothing else, you are gaining internal utility by offering the other person "love." If you gain nothing from the other person in return, a relationship does not exist.



> But if you view & treat relationships like a business deal, then that is what you will get, and a significant aspect of life, perhaps THE ultimate aspect that trumps sex by infinity, will never be experienced by you.


I disagree. If we two were in a relationship, which I view to be like a business deal, your experience would be better than if I did not. Viewing the interaction like a deal, I would know (or strive to know) what you are looking to gain from the relationship. You seem to be suggesting that you look to gain nothing; that is either a blatant lie or pityable ignorance. I would know what you want to gain, and give it to you. 

Are you looking to gain intrinsic, internal value through selfless action to support me, your loved one? If so, I would afford you that opportunity as much as possible. Are you looking to gain a fuller understanding of another person, and to be understood in the same way? I could easily offer that. Are you looking for a companion, protector, friend, confidant, and/or sexual partner? I could provide any or all of those as well. Are you looking for money? This is little different from the others I listed, as it is also something I can provide. 

But in the end, you are looking for something in a relationship. As the other partner in the arrangement, that something is what I would provide. In return, I would acquire that which I'm seeking. In that way, it is certainly a business deal. 

Ultimately, looking rationally at love and relationships does not diminish their value or outcomes. In my opinion, it has the great ability to enhance them. By understanding the business deal nature of a relationship, one can more effectively tackle the task of ensuring the happiness and satisfaction of his/her relationship partner. 



> "For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation." - Rilke


Good quote, but still only tangentially related to a relationship. A relationship (and thus a business deal) is entirely unnecessary for love, and can also exist without it. Love in relationships is merely a preference.


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## serenesam (Jul 26, 2011)

I just wanted to say that *unconditional love* can be dangerous especially if a woman is trying to take advantage of you:

Unconditional love - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

serenesam said:


> 1). _If you are the type of man that have a high sexual appetite, a prostitute might be better for you because you get immediate gratification_. The problem with dating is that not every woman is going to sleep or have sex with you on the first date. I even recall from the canceled CBS reality show “3” in which all of the women even felt uncomfortable kissing on the first date as well as at the end of their first date during the evening hours. Some of them won’t engage in sexual activity with you even on the second, third, fourth, and subsequent dates. Some women feel more comfortable in that they need to get to know someone before actual intimacy. As Donald Trump once said, “you have to be friends first.” It is very apparent that the act of dating may constitute spending more money through a series of dates before the act of sexual intercourse compared to spending money for a one-time event with a prostitute.


There is a reason some of us need time to get to know a person before we welcome sex. It is hard to instantly know for sure whether someone is safe to be with. Our evaluation process includes determining whether the potential partner can be trusted, whether he is responsible enough to deal with the potential consequences of sex, and whether the relationship is likely to last after the sexual encounter. When you pay a prostitute for sex, she probably doesn't even want to have sex with you. She may be poor and desperate, concerned with survival, and if that is the case, you risk using your money to coerce her into having unwanted sex because you are too lazy to form a relationship with a willing partner who actually desires you.



serenesam said:


> 2). _Dating is very time consuming_. The act of going out on several occasions, making conversations of each other’s life, talking about things, spending money on gas, and getting to know each other takes up a considerable amount of time compared to the precise calculation of time spent with a prostitute. Life is very short especially if you are a heterosexual male who might have had a wife that died or someone in the middle-age to elder-age years where your sperm may start to become weaker. Having to wait several months just to have sex may be something that turns you off as time is very precious. In addition, not to sound cliché but there is a saying that “time equals money.” So while you might not actually be spending real money where you could literally take notes of debits and credits on a piece of paper, the amount of time of having to wait may be painful to you both psychologically and physically and so the little time spent with a prostitute is why the prostitute is the better route. Furthermore, the amount of time you spend may be better spent facilitating your act of working especially if you are a workaholic, which would allow you to accumulate more money through that act.


If relationships take too much work, don't be in one, but don't pretend it is ethical to exploit women or treat them like disposable objects you can buy, use for a while, and never think about again. The kind of person who would agree that a prostitute can fulfill his relationship needs will only be satisfied because he has been treating relationships as though the entire point were to get laid, and as though any time spent bonding non-sexually were wasted. That seems like a pretty sad and lonely state of mind to have.




serenesam said:


> 3). _The simple act of having to put up with somebody else could be a pain_. Choosing the loving relationship route means you are going to have to deal with all the other issues not associated with a discrete relationship with a prostitute. You might end up having to attend therapy and that is a waste of time having to speak to a mental health professional. This could be painful if you are really the type of man that isn’t invested in emotion and feelings, something that apparently according to research, women seem to want, that “emotional bond.” You might have to take care of her if she is sick like with the flu or a cold, do some favors for her, buy her presents during the holidays, and all other stuff.


So now we get to the core of it. Selfish people who want one-sided relationships may get frustrated with having to expend any effort caring about someone other than themselves, so to avoid the inconvenience of experiencing love or emotional intimacy, such people may reduce romantic connections to an interactive form of masturbation in which the other partner is there only to please them and give them an orgasm, and where the partner is not valued as an equal human being with wants and needs of his/her own. 



serenesam said:


> 4). _Dating someone means that you are also going to have to deal with in-laws whereas a prostitute, you don’t have to worry about any of that_. This one is very self-explanatory so I don’t think I need to elaborate. Let’s just say that some in-laws can be a pain. The music video “It Will Rain” by Bruno Mars can help people understand this.


Not all in-laws are awful. Dealing with in-laws who dislike you might be irritating sometimes, but will probably be far less damaging to you than having unwanted sex will be for the prostitute that you intend to take advantage of, whose life story you know nothing about. If you don't get along with your in-laws, talk about the problem with your partner. Maybe you can avoid them or work out a solution. Running away from the problem by avoiding getting into any quality relationships seems a bit cowardly and self-destructive. 



serenesam said:


> 5). _The benefit of choosing a prostitute equates to a worry-free state of mind when it comes to pregnancy_. When you in a committed long-term relationship, there may be this fear that you could get her pregnant. If she is pregnant, you might have to deal with the painful issue of abortion and if she gives birth, you might have to prepare to deal with spending money on child support especially if there divorce in the future. All that wasteful money could just be better spent with a prostitute or even an escort as you can derive pleasure from that, but you won’t be able to obtain immediate gratification with having to constantly pay child support for 18 years.


When you are in a long-term committed relationship, you will at least be there to help each other if a sexual encounter results in pregnancy. If you get a prostitute pregnant, she may have to deal with the consequences alone, without any support. The risk doesn't go away. You are just selfishly burdening someone else with it so you can behave irresponsibly. 



serenesam said:


> 6). _Prostitutes may engage in the kind of sexual activity that your girlfriend or wife might not be comfortable with_. This could explain why some men prefer prostitutes and I believe there was even a TV talk show that had guests of men saying this. Contrary to the lovely-duckly-almost-spiritual-like notion that your spouse may provide a more pleasing pleasurable experience, the sexual experience with a prostitute may actually be better but this description is very difficult to explain in words.


A prostitute might not like your favorite position any more than your girlfriend or wife, but you would never know. She may be complying with your demands because of financial desperation rather than actually voluntarily choosing to engage in kinky fetish sex with you because of a mutual love for being peed on, or whatever you are into. 



serenesam said:


> 7). _If you are suffering from a mental illness, it might actually be better to go the prostitute route compared to the dating route_. From what I have researched, people with bipolar disorder have a 90% failure rate and so when you combine all the complications with having to deal with a dating relationship, it should be obvious why the prostitute route may be better. Even just speaking generally like any other mental disorder, the patience in some other women may be too much for them to handle. I think most people regardless as to whether they are male or female don’t want to have to put up with somebody’s mental illness as I believe there is strong evidence noting the stigma associated with mental illness on a more broad-scale and macro-analysis viewpoint.


There are plenty of people who are willing to date someone with a mental illness. I know people with all kinds of disabilities who are in happy relationships with people who love them. Why settle for meaningless sex with someone who might not even want it when you could find someone who will cherish you for life? 



serenesam said:


> 8). _The long-term amount of money spent on prostitutes may actually be a better deal for you compared to a real relationship especially if you are a rich heterosexual male_. While some may say that prostitutes can be expensive, doing a cost-benefit analysis, the benefits may actually outweigh the costs taking into account all of the previously mentioned points in the above that may have nothing to do with money. In the event of a divorce (which is likely especially these days), be prepared to lose out on a lot of money if you don’t have a prenup. If you have kids, be prepared to spend money on them besides the child support if you love them and want the best for them (like taking them with you on vacation, etc.).


If you are deciding whether to be in a relationship by how much money it will cost, and if you are assuming divorce is inevitable from the very start, you might be too cynical and materialistic to be in a healthy relationship. At least when you are with someone who loves you, s/he isn't there solely because she thinks you plan to give her money. A prostitute's only interest in you is financial. Do you really want to have sex with someone who only wants your money, who doesn't even care who you are?


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## Master Mind (Aug 15, 2011)

I've always been of the opinion that men who spend money on dates and expect sex at the end (I've heard guys complain about this) should just go to a prostitute and eliminate the whole charade.


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## Dewymorning (Nov 24, 2012)

DemonD said:


> Your premise appears to be based on a heterosexual male who is after sex, rather than a relationship.
> 
> Not just any straight male.


My thought precisely.

Some men actually want an emotional connection before having sex too. 
Some men actually want to get married and have a family.

If you are just after sex, sure, get a prostitute. 

Also, prostitution is legal in NZ. Of course you have to put up with the risk of someone you know seeing you walk into one of our local strip clubs and brothels, though you can also look up some prostitutes in the paper, which I suppose is less risky.


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## Dewymorning (Nov 24, 2012)

serenesam said:


> I just wanted to say that *unconditional love* can be dangerous especially if a woman is trying to take advantage of you:
> 
> Unconditional love - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


Was it necessary to use 'a woman'.

Maybe 'the other person' would have been better.

Both persons in a relationship could take advantage of the other person. 

I believe that we would all agree there are certain conditions that have to be met before we would 'unconditionally' love someone.

So is it really unconditional love?


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

Don't guys like it when the woman actually is enjoying the sex and wants to have it? Rather than treating them like they are an overused carwash?


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## marked174 (Feb 24, 2010)

Threads like this make me sad. It implicitly states so many bad things about our culture. It implies that men are only looking for sex (and by the style of writing it implies that men only should) while it also simultaneously implies that women are nothing but trouble; that they lack the human capacity to love, support, and cherish a man.

If the majority of heterosexual guys begin to believe these things (and I fear that they most certainly are) then heterosexual girls are going to need to step up their game and prove that not only are they capable of enriching a man's life, but that they actually want to as well. I guess that wouldn't be such a bad thing.


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## Mr. Meepers (May 31, 2012)

Well, Maybe there is a reason I am identifying myself as agendered  //jk //jk //jk

Seriously though ... Prostitution in my area is illegal (and there would be no regulation over it) and, growing up, I was under the impression that many prostitutes are beaten by their pimps and/or taken in at a young age and don't believe they have anyplace to go. And I don want to be one of her rapists (assuming the above is true). If anything, I'd rather hire her, lock the door (/barricade it so none can come it if you catch my drift), tell her to call the police and try to save herself by offering to testify against her pimp, and then give her some money (assuming I had some) and hope she had a chance change her life and get out of the situation.
Then there are women who really feel the money, but would rather not have sex with people and that still feels wrong to me.
I think the only way I would not be morally opposed is if:
a) The sex does not bother/emotionally hurt her, to her it is just life an office job (but that would be uncomfortable ... idk. That would make me feel uncomfortable)
b) She likes sex a lot and thought it she should make money off it because "you should enjoy what you do" (If I ever wanted a prostitute, it would only be someone who had this mindset ... someone who loved their "work" and would say no to "clients" whenever she was uncomfortable)

Now, that all being said ... well, from my experience, I am pretty sure I need to trust someone a lot in order to really enjoy the experience. I mean, there is vulnerability and possible insecurities involved. Idk and it helps to have a passion for the person as well ... These are all things that I can't see a stranger providing ... Oh, and I may be just a tab on the submissive side, so I may need more trust than the average person just for "practical" reasons.
Oh, and I become more sensitive, I think, when I have feelings for the person and who can even compare to the beauty or sexiness of someone you love :wink: (I think the heart can change our aesthetics and perception greatly, at least my heart can lol)


So, I'll have to pass on the whole prostitute thing (I'd really rather not be with a prostitute ... if it is that bad, I still have two functioning hands and I'm fairly certain that I trust myself enough to have an enjoyable experience ... I am good with my hands if I do say so myself :wink::tongue


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## sofort99 (Mar 27, 2010)

Men don't pay prostitutes for sex.

Men pay prostitutes so the will leave when they are done.


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## Aquarian (Jun 17, 2012)

I'm neither heterosexual nor male, but I want to chime in just to say: for me personally, it would completely and utterly turn me off to be with a woman who was only having sex with me because I was paying her. I mean - such a setup would kill even the slightest hint of sexual arousal I could feel. So it's hard for me to wrap my mind around someone who would want to be with another person who probably doesn't want to be having sex with them at all except that it pays money.

I do know that there are people who experience the world very differently than I do and I'm actually for legal prostitution as a general matter because I think it would be safer and better working conditions for the sex workers. But for myself personally, I really don't understand how it could not be the biggest turnoff in the world to have someone only there because you're paying them. *shiver*


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

Is sex that important for some people?


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## Yardiff Bey (Jun 5, 2011)

WamphyriThrall said:


> Is sex that important for some people?


For some people, yes. I believe that it depends on two things:

1/ how much testosterone and estrogen that you have in your system (high testosterone = high sex drive, high estrogen in a male = low sex drive, BPDs are an estrogen-equivalent)

2/ how long that it's been since you've had sex


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## valentine (Feb 25, 2009)

Because life isn't empty enough without meaningless sex


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## StaceofBass (Jul 1, 2012)

You seem to assume that what all heterosexual men want is sex...that's a generalization and not even close to being fact.

If a man wants to risk getting an STD because he slept with someone who makes a living off sex then more power to him...it's his bad decision.


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## adrenaline1 (Apr 15, 2013)

LMAO i think taking a chick home from the bar is better than hiring a prostitute if all you want is sex. That at least builds confidence. Paying for sex just wouldn't be any fun or challenging in my opinion.


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## Shabby (Feb 14, 2013)

Sovereign said:


> I think the OP assumes that even a "real" relationship is a business deal, and I find that characterization to be more or less accurate. Two (or more!) persons gain mutual utility through an interpersonal exchange. No money is transferred, but value is transferred nonetheless. If any party gets substantially less utility than they were expecting from the relationship, they are likely to terminate the arrangement, just like a business deal.
> 
> You're merely expressing one example relating to what form the deal takes, what value is gained/lost by the parties involved, and the method of transferring that value, and calling it a "relationship".


Even if the OP considers relationships to be business deals, the fact of the matter is that relationships have more give and take than a one (or several) night stand with sex workers. What I mean by this is that relationships or friends with benefits is a more power balanced equation. In most countries, sex workers do not have proper rights and are exploited by their clients. By having an illegal profession (again - in some countries), they cannot speak up if they are being abused, exploited, threatened, etc... essentially rendering them silent. 

Only in a small minority of countries are sex workers actually treated like human beings. This being the case, unless I lived in one of those countries I can't consider sex work as fair enough or humane enough to the individual, even if it were to sexually gratify those who otherwise are not seen as "attractive" or "fuckable" (which is completely ridiculous in my opinion, I would want to sleep with someone who has an awesome personality not someone just pretty to look at).

Keeping this in mind, I would never want to pay for someone to sleep with me. If I need instant gratification, I jerk myself off. Other than that, I cannot bring myself to pay someone else for sex because if I am going to have sex I want to know that a) the other person actually wants to have sex with me, b) If there is something in particular they enjoy or don't enjoy - I would want them to feel they are able to tell me rather than 'just let them get it over with', c) The impersonal aspect doesn't do much for me. 




Nirel said:


> Lol what a provocative thread title, if I was desperate enough to have a fake relationship I would rather just doing drugs and get a better deal.


Why is buying drugs equated to buying a live being for a couple of hours? They are not the same thing and equating them to each other by saying you would "rather buy drugs" insinuates that paying a sex worker for a job is the same as smoking a joint - I hope I don't have to pont out why this is an unfair comparison (and one we need to be careful not to make!).


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## Nirel (Oct 21, 2012)

Shabby said:


> Even if the OP considers relationships to be business deals, the fact of the matter is that relationships have more give and take than a one (or several) night stand with sex workers. What I mean by this is that relationships or friends with benefits is a more power balanced equation. In most countries, sex workers do not have proper rights and are exploited by their clients. By having an illegal profession (again - in some countries), they cannot speak up if they are being abused, exploited, threatened, etc... essentially rendering them silent.
> 
> Only in a small minority of countries are sex workers actually treated like human beings. This being the case, unless I lived in one of those countries I can't consider sex work as fair enough or humane enough to the individual, even if it were to sexually gratify those who otherwise are not seen as "attractive" or "fuckable" (which is completely ridiculous in my opinion, I would want to sleep with someone who has an awesome personality not someone just pretty to look at).
> 
> ...


I didn't make that compassion, you did. I would also add for you that the whole prostitution business reeks from exploitation and I would want nothing from it.


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## Curiously (Nov 7, 2011)

Boy, I'd love to edit the OP's title to "Why a Prostitute is Better than Dating for _Some People_".


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## Shabby (Feb 14, 2013)

Nirel said:


> I didn't make that compassion, you did. I would also add for you that the whole prostitution business reeks from exploitation and I would want nothing from it.


Actually, no I didn't - I refuted that 'compassion'. You immediately linked the idea of prostitution to that of buying drugs by saying "I would rather just buy drugs and get a better deal" [than a prostitute]. By insinuating that "buying drugs" is a "better deal" than a prostitute, you are doing nothing but equating them to something of the same caliber that you could choose from.


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## Nirel (Oct 21, 2012)

Shabby said:


> Actually, no I didn't - I refuted that 'compassion'. You immediately linked the idea of prostitution to that of buying drugs by saying "I would rather just buy drugs and get a better deal" [than a prostitute]. By insinuating that "buying drugs" is a "better deal" than a prostitute, you are doing nothing but equating them to something of the same caliber that you could choose from.


Lol, you see what you want to see


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## Persephone (Nov 14, 2009)

Shabby said:


> Actually, no I didn't - I refuted that 'compassion'. You immediately linked the idea of prostitution to that of buying drugs by saying "I would rather just buy drugs and get a better deal" [than a prostitute]. By insinuating that "buying drugs" is a "better deal" than a prostitute, you are doing nothing but equating them to something of the same caliber that you could choose from.


You're probably misinterpreting him. What I understood from his post is that if he's in a bad enough situation to want a fake relationship, doing drugs and getting high might bring him more utility than meaningless sex with a prostitute (thereby being in a fake relationship ie. living a lie). Only he can speak for himself however.

And about the OP: If you fit the OP's description please do us all a favor and not date. Don't lead people into emotionally bonding with you if you're so disingenuous. Women are not masturbation machines for you to use without consideration for their feelings. Take OP's advice. Pay for your sex. And leave women who want real relationships bloody well alone.


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## mamadabinski (Jan 2, 2013)

Please tell me this is a troll thread. Please?


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## Persephone (Nov 14, 2009)

mamadabinski said:


> Please tell me this is a troll thread. Please?


You'd be unpleasantly surprised. But maybe it's better for the rest of us if people who only want sex stick to people who want to give sex for money and nothing else. Saves me the trouble of figuring out who's only after my pussy.


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## Jetsune Lobos (Apr 23, 2012)

> Why A Prostitute Is Better If Your Motives Are Libido-Driven


Also, Double, meet your Standard.


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## The Wanderering ______ (Jul 17, 2012)

WTF is with this thread!!!? Listen... there are women in the world who are willing to have sex on the first date, or on no date at all. Online dating sites, craigslist, nightclubs, bars, etc. 

Personally I prefer the little subtle intimacy barriers that you get into and start to dissolve before you have sex with a girl instead of just straight up sex. Why? Because I prefer the sexual tension that just builds up and creates this kind of anything could happen atmosphere. I prefer being spontaneous and putting yourself right next to her, then putting your arm around her just touching her leg and gazing into her big beautiful dilated eyes.


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

The Wanderering ______ said:


> WTF is with this thread!!!? Listen... there are women in the world who are willing to have sex on the first date, or on no date at all. Online dating sites, craigslist, nightclubs, bars, etc.
> 
> Personally I prefer the little subtle intimacy barriers that you get into and start to dissolve before you have sex with a girl instead of just straight up sex. Why? Because I prefer the sexual tension that just builds up and creates this kind of anything could happen atmosphere. I prefer being spontaneous and putting yourself right next to her, then putting your arm around her just touching her leg and gazing into her big beautiful *dilated *eyes.



Roofies?


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## Sovereign (Aug 19, 2011)

Shabby said:


> Even if the OP considers relationships to be business deals, the fact of the matter is that relationships have more give and take than a one (or several) night stand with sex workers. What I mean by this is that relationships or friends with benefits is a more power balanced equation. In most countries, sex workers do not have proper rights and are exploited by their clients. By having an illegal profession (again - in some countries), they cannot speak up if they are being abused, exploited, threatened, etc... essentially rendering them silent.
> 
> Only in a small minority of countries are sex workers actually treated like human beings. This being the case, unless I lived in one of those countries I can't consider sex work as fair enough or humane enough to the individual, even if it were to sexually gratify those who otherwise are not seen as "attractive" or "fuckable" (which is completely ridiculous in my opinion, I would want to sleep with someone who has an awesome personality not someone just pretty to look at).
> 
> Keeping this in mind, I would never want to pay for someone to sleep with me. If I need instant gratification, I jerk myself off. Other than that, I cannot bring myself to pay someone else for sex because if I am going to have sex I want to know that a) the other person actually wants to have sex with me, b) If there is something in particular they enjoy or don't enjoy - I would want them to feel they are able to tell me rather than 'just let them get it over with', c) The impersonal aspect doesn't do much for me.


I can certainly see the merits to this, particularly about the plight of sex workers. Your opinions are perfectly valid, and the sex trade in much of the world is reprehensibly bad. 

However, they don't affect the fact that even a power-imbalanced relationship is still a relationship, and is still essentially a business deal. My statement still holds.


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## Shahada (Apr 26, 2010)

I don't know whether its funny or sad that apparently a significant number of people in this thread can only understand interpersonal relationships as a form of commodity exchange.


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## MrsAndrewJacoby (Apr 11, 2013)

Shahada said:


> I don't know whether its funny or sad that apparently a significant number of people in this thread can only understand interpersonal relationships as a form of commodity exchange.


To me, it's sad. But, hence the world in which we live. What IS funny to me is that the OP thinks every man on earth shares his outlook (or at least that's what the title of his post implies).


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

@ OP


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## Aquarian (Jun 17, 2012)

Shahada said:


> I don't know whether its funny or sad that apparently a significant number of people in this thread can only understand interpersonal relationships as a form of commodity exchange.


I vote _sad_. But that's just me.


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## serenesam (Jul 26, 2011)

Shahada said:


> I don't know whether its funny or sad that apparently a significant number of people in this thread can only understand interpersonal relationships as a form of commodity exchange.


The existence of the monetary system contributes to the need to include money in almost everything. Even free or zero dollars is still part of the monetary system because people can provide a service free of charge if they so desire. This is why I agree with the right-wing notion that taxation is essentially theft; there is a difference between between charity and being forced to give up your hard-earned money for wealth redistribution to others. 

If on the other hand we did not have a monetary system and rather a resource-based system, then I doubt that a significant number of people would see interpersonal relationships as a form of commodity exchange. With everyone having an abundance of basic needs, people would then value others as well as each other much better. Given the reality that there is a possibility in which people can exploit other people akin to watching the discovery channel like a dog-eat-dog world, commodities and ownership _must_ be examined thoroughly in order to prevent fraud and the act of taking advantage of other people regardless as to what gender they ascribe to. As Donald Trump once noted that marriages should always have a prenup and stated that the man needs to tell his future beloved wife, honey, I love you, but this is necessary.

Some people appear to have a sense of entitlement and feel that everything or practically everything should be free of charge and when they feel they can't have something for free, they scream out unfairness. I can certainly understand the conservative viewpoint that liberals are just jealous of somebody else's success because some people have this sense of entitlement as part of their conditioning and upbringing (perhaps they grew up with liberal ideologies or were surrounded by people with similar views). So in the case of a romantic relationship, they exclude finances as if it is not necessary (nothing wrong with that) but may eventually feel the "hurt" in the event of a divorce since they did work hard for it and earned it themselves especially if it is the person with the most assets.


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## bengalcat (Dec 8, 2010)

Your point seems to be basically: prostitutes are simple. 

The person you describe seems to be someone who wants access to a woman only for the physical attributes of her humanness - body parts and a pulse - and for the way in which she is completely controllable. 

This person sees no point in engaging a woman who is free to have her own mind, feelings, history, and links to other human beings. 

In one sense then I agree with some others here who have said that they hope that such a person does leave dating alone, leaving the field relatively more open for people who are interested in figuring out how to communicate and share with other people. However this also leaves me with the sober reminder that some of prostitutes' client base is made up of people like that, and now I sort of understand how it is that sexworkers can come to be targeted for abuse and murder.


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## Strange Moon (Nov 10, 2012)

In my country prostitution is legal.
I don't have anything against either prostitutes or their customers. 
However comparing sex with a prostitute to going on a date is like comparing a Big Mac to a four-course meal in a gourmet restaurant.
One stills your hunger for a few hours, the other one enriches your life.

If you just want to stick your cock into a female, sure, go ahead and pay a prostitute. But if you want to learn about human relationships, if you want to get excited by the possibilities, if you want to feel desired and/or loved, go date "real" women.
What do you think will make you feel more proud and happy, a prostitute who will give you a blowjob and lets you fuck her for 50 bucks or a nice woman who gives you a shy kiss on the third date? I know what I would prefer. Even if it turns out I'll never have sex with the woman I'd prefer the latter.


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## 7rr7s (Jun 6, 2011)

Just make sure you ask for the Girlfriend Experience. 

I still say it's just as easy to find a fuck buddy/friends with benefits than it is to go the hooker route. And besides, getting a hooker is easy, so why would you want to do that? Challenge yourself.


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## serenesam (Jul 26, 2011)

KindOfBlue06 said:


> Just make sure you ask for the Girlfriend Experience.
> 
> I still say it's just as easy to find a fuck buddy/friends with benefits than it is to go the hooker route. And besides, getting a hooker is easy, so why would you want to do that? Challenge yourself.


You'd be surprised to see how some men might have difficulty. Remember what is easy for one person may not be to another. At least it is much better than going the rape route.


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## 7rr7s (Jun 6, 2011)

serenesam said:


> You'd be surprised to see how some men might have difficulty. Remember what is easy for one person may not be to another. At least it is much better than going the rape route.


I disagree. Unless you live in a VERY small town or out in the country, you can find a hooker pretty easily. For one, in the States there's backpage which has a whole section specifically for escorts. Or if you live in a bigger city like New York or LA or something, you can get in a taxi and ask him to take you to where girls are tricking. You might have to ask around, but even some dancers trick on the side or even in the stripclub as a side business. 

The point is it's pretty easy to get a hooker. And if finding a fuck buddy or a girlfriend is challenging for you, then that's all the more reason why you should go for it because you will grow that way. And the sex will be even greater.


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## serenesam (Jul 26, 2011)

KindOfBlue06 said:


> I disagree. Unless you live in a VERY small town or out in the country, you can find a hooker pretty easily. For one, in the States there's backpage which has a whole section specifically for escorts. Or if you live in a bigger city like New York or LA or something, you can get in a taxi and ask him to take you to where girls are tricking. You might have to ask around, but even some dancers trick on the side or even in the stripclub as a side business.
> 
> The point is it's pretty easy to get a hooker. And if finding a fuck buddy or a girlfriend is challenging for you, then that's all the more reason why you should go for it because you will grow that way. And the sex will be even greater.


Did you see post #13 pertaining to a physical handicap?


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## 7rr7s (Jun 6, 2011)

serenesam said:


> Did you see post #13 pertaining to a physical handicap?


Just read it. What a cool guy. Everyone has their challenges. I'd probably do the same thing in his shoes. Everyone also has choice. You can go around feeling sorry for yourself and your situation and maybe get a hooker here and there or you can choose to be positive and keep trying to find a woman who wants to be with you regardless of your circumstance. 

That being said, I would totally throw money down on a high end escort if I knew someone in that situation. I'd probably get him a few.


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## strangestdude (Dec 8, 2011)

2 reasons why I wouldn't use prostitutes;

1) Don't want to fuck someone who isn't enjoying it.

2) Honesty is important to me in a relationship, and I'd make a confident guess that having used prostitutes is a deal breaker for most women.


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## Everyday Ghoul (Aug 4, 2009)

It's paid. It's controlled. I would gladly pay prostitutes for their time; for favors that were completely non-sexual. Prostitutes can not break my heart, cheat on me, abandon me, hurt me (emotionally), etc. However, there are no prostitutes here and our state police have seen fit to setup online sting operations. So, I've simply resorted to pygmalionism. I'd rather use dolls and mannequins for one sided affection, than to have my heart ripped from my chest one more time. I have no more places to store emotional hurts, that other people stand ready to afflict.


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## Aquarian (Jun 17, 2012)

Darth Nihilus said:


> It's paid. It's controlled. I would gladly pay prostitutes for their time; for favors that were completely non-sexual. Prostitutes can not break my heart, cheat on me, abandon me, hurt me (emotionally), etc. However, there are no prostitutes here and our state police have seen fit to setup online sting operations. So, I've simply resorted to pygmalionism. I'd rather use dolls and mannequins for one sided affection, than to have my heart ripped from my chest one more time. I have no more places to store emotional hurts, that other people stand ready to afflict.


I very much appreciate the honesty in this comment.


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## series0 (Feb 18, 2013)

fourtines said:


> How would sex with someone who isn't attracted to you be superior?
> 
> You guys are out of your minds. Hookers aren't attracted to most of their clients, that's why there's that old adage that hookers don't kiss their clients. There's a good reason for that.
> 
> ...


We are not saying that SEX is better with a prostitute. We are saying that the SITUATION is better. It's easier to deal with, returns the quantity factor with less time and net less money, and way way way less hassle. That being said, it would not work well for me without certain other conditions being present. I don't have conversations with people I do not like in some way unless they are flat required, let alone attempt sex with them. My own level of required intimacy is too high. That being said I can imagine a scenario where a prostitute that I got to know a little or had the right personality would be fine for this. But then, for me, we are back to more high maintenance. The difference is this time it's me respecting my own limits and silliness, rather than my ostensible relationship partner's.

For me self maintenance has always been easier with fuck buddies or just internet porn. No money. No stupid babble. As I have gotten older though, the number of women that I would care to deal with as a fuck buddy has diminished for many reasons. I am still attractive and capable, at least in my own admittedly biased estimation.  Although I usually have a relationship ongoing, the temptation has come up to just deal with a prostitute the way the OP suggests. In the U.S. though, it's too underground and riddled with issues. I am not sure internationally if there is a good example out there. Anyone know?


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

MrsAndrewJacoby said:


> To me, it's sad. But, hence the world in which we live. What IS funny to me is that the OP thinks every man on earth shares his outlook (or at least that's what the title of his post implies).


Well in order to have this outlook in the first place, seeing prostitutes as a solution to avoid "putting up with another person" or "having in-laws" ...the person in question is obviously self-absorbed. It's not like they're seeking a prostitute just to have someone, anyone, touch them and give them attention and sex....he's actually saying it's preferable to having to be anything other than completely selfish.

Because generally in the prostitute client exchange, the client expects a "service" (not unlike what one would expect from a hairdresser or massage therapist)...that means that potentially he doesn't even have to care about his partner's sexual needs, or hell, even her comfort or safety (like in the omg fucking disturbing examples snail gave) ...as well as not having to "put up" with her emotional or other needs.

Narcissism, even sociopathy, is possible in some cases of "prostitute lovers" ...but overall it just often points to someone who is outwardly "normal" but relationally severely handicapped.

So...that being all said, a person who views romance and sex in this way, is highly likely to have such a poor understanding of other human beings, and such trouble forming real intimacy with other humans (even as close friends probably in some extreme cases) that they just assume that all people are as selfish, narcissistic, etc. as they are.

They have no sense of other people having their own identities. Creepytown.


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## Up and Away (Mar 5, 2011)

Many relationships are just "friendly" but not actually "friends."

Prostitution is one of them often times


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

series0 said:


> The difference is this time it's me respecting my own limits and silliness, rather than my ostensible relationship partner's.


Right and if you can't do that without treating another human being as an object ON A REGULAR BASIS (as in the OP actually calling it "preferable for heterosexual men") then something is severely wrong with you.

There's nothing wrong with it if you're lonely, or you're so busy, or you're on the rebound so you temporarily have nothing left to give, that's fine, and I assume (I hope) that's the kind of TEMPORARY situation you're referring to. 

In this case I'd even say it may be more humane to make the exchange so point blank than to mislead a person who expected a reciprocal relationship from you.

I am actually pro sex work. I have worked as a stripper and web cam model, and I am very educated about prostitution and have known prostitutes.

I understand its place and how on the "high class" or "legal" ends it really can serve a valuable societal purpose that still leaves the prostitute with her dignity, humanity, safety, and freedom of choice to reject any given client because he's mentally or emotionally or physically abusive.

At the same time, I'm close enough to the adult entertainment industry to know that a very disturbed sub-set of the population may frequent it. Fortunately, most are not sociopaths or rapists, but many who aren't lonely or busy are just narcissists or otherwise so emotionally warped they they need professional help, their outlook should not be supported or defended as anything resembling healthy or normal, any more than an alcoholic should be called healthy and normal.

It's fine to drink wine or have a few hard drinks with friends. It's another thing entirely to drink all day long every day, or binge drink constantly.

Same with sex workers/adult entertainment/porn.

Except in these scenarios, there's actually other human beings involved besides yourself.


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## series0 (Feb 18, 2013)

fourtines said:


> Well in order to have this outlook in the first place, seeing prostitutes as a solution to avoid "putting up with another person" or "having in-laws" ...the person in question is obviously self-absorbed. It's not like they're seeking a prostitute just to have someone, anyone, touch them and give them attention and sex....he's actually saying it's preferable to having to be anything other than completely selfish.
> 
> Because generally in the prostitute client exchange, the client expects a "service" (not unlike what one would expect from a hairdresser or massage therapist)...that means that potentially he doesn't even have to care about his partner's sexual needs, or hell, even her comfort or safety (like in the omg fucking disturbing examples snail gave) ...as well as not having to "put up" with her emotional or other needs.
> 
> ...


I know what you're getting at, and in general, I agree. But, it is possible to think of the sex worker as a massage therapist, etc. I DO CARE about them as a person, and all that. But, I am not there for getting to know them very deeply or beyond a certain point. 

As I mentioned in the earlier post I personally do require more intimacy and depth so prostitution given its tendency for shallow wasted situations has never appealed to me. It appeals to me in concept more. But I would need to know the woman and her me, and that's a fairly slippery slope, pardon the pun.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

series0 said:


> I know what you're getting at, and in general, I agree. But, it is possible to think of the sex worker as a massage therapist, etc. I DO CARE about them as a person, and all that. But, I am not there for getting to know them very deeply or beyond a certain point.
> 
> As I mentioned in the earlier post I personally do require more intimacy and depth so prostitution given its tendency for shallow wasted situations has never appealed to me. It appeals to me in concept more. But I would need to know the woman and her me, and that's a fairly slippery slope, pardon the pun.


Yeah sometimes regulars fall in love with their ....provider. This happens to strippers and other adult entertainers, not just prostitutes. 

And of course the other way around can and does occur, more rarely, but indeed it certainly does happen, I assure you.

That's one of the many possibilities of what I meant by another human being involved. If you're ...like...ok...say you're a sociopath or one of those creepy guys in the example snail posted, the issue is glaringly apparent, and is something that can be mostly addressed by legalizing prostitution and making it safer, with more boundaries and protection for the sex workers. But in the cases of the other dude who say forms a "gray area" relationship with his provider or sex worker, he feels "rejected" when she quits her job or gets a boyfriend (or gets married, whatever happens to make the situation end). And yes, more rarely, the feelings are reciprocal. People can get emotionally hurt any time you're talking about these kinds of "therapeutic" situations.

It's sort of like how sometimes people fall in love with or want to have sex with their psychiatrist, because of the neutral, accepting, emotional support a therapist gives.

Sex workers have to have a similar quality, if they work in any kind of high end adult entertainment, where it isn't degrading acts of desperate (or painful, or dangerous) sex for money and is actually a scenario where the prostitute (or massage girl, everyone always remembers strippers and prostitutes, but never massage girls and their middle-of-the-road happy endings) has rights and boundaries and sees a more respectful clientele. 

So I'm not just defending the rights of women here, being victimized by these men. Some of these men are sad cases themselves, the ones who aren't narcissistic or sociopathic, who get angry or hurt and feel rejected by a former favorite sex worker, or who call her on Christmas, like wtf, you know? That's pretty sad for the guy. He needs someone to tell him, if he's still emotionally reachable, maybe he should try to get some help so he could have relationships that he didn't have to pay for so blatantly.

BTW, there are gay men who are prostitutes too, I've known a gay prostitute - really handsome young guy with a very engaging and manipulative personality - so I do want to just add this as a foot note, that men can be prostitutes as well.


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## JoetheBull (Apr 29, 2010)

I guess since this topic does relate to me a bit since I am a hetero male that has trouble dating, fwb, and anything with sex and women. I would like to disagree with see a prostitute is better than dating. But technically I don't really have a right to say. Only thing I can argue is that I would prefer to know the person I am having sex with and be comfortable being with them and not be nervous that they have a STD that will somehow go threw the condom or be transferred while kissing(Yes I have kissed a hooker), being arrested, them not enjoying it/getting hurt and not telling me so I can either stop doing it wrong or just stop. 

I may be stuck having only prostitutes only willing to have sex with me. Still think the dating and relationships are less depressing. But what the hell does a loser like me know.


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

fourtines said:


> Wow this stuff really makes me sick. This is why prostitution should be legalized, though, so that prostitutes don't feel pressured to perform acts that are dangerous or painful or utterly humiliating by clients; when prostitution is legal, prostitutes become people, not blow up dolls.



I worry that legalizing prostitution would only add to the culture of objectification and encourage society to see sex as a commodity. This is already enough of a problem because of hyper-sexualized advertising and internet porn.

Unless the specific prostitute you hire likes sex and wants it, hiring a prostitute is also morally questionable. Paying someone for sex s/he doesn't want is a form of coercion, an abuse of power in which you have what someone else needs in order to survive (money), and you use it to make him/her do degrading things s/he wouldn't otherwise be willing to do (have unwanted sex). I know this may seem normal because we are used to the everyday evils of capitalism, but there is something fundamentally cruel and exploitative about it. Whether threatening punishment or enticing the prostitute with a reward, using someone for sex, even knowing that s/he is miserable and may only be doing it because s/he feels like s/he has no choice, puts you on a very fine line between being a rapist and having consensual sex, and I tend to lean toward considering it rape. If you have to pay for consent, it isn't being freely given. 

I understand that there are sex workers who like their jobs, who aren't doing it because of poverty, and I feel that willingly being a prostitute should definitely be a legal option because we own our bodies. However, I do not think that hiring a prostitute should be legal due to the high risk of accidentally having sex with someone who doesn't want it, and neither should forcing people into prostitution for the sake of exploiting them. 

If a prostitute is in a dangerous situation, she shouldn't have to worry that she might get in legal trouble for her profession while seeking help. 

The law against hiring prostitutes might be loosely enforced, to avoid stripping willing sex workers of their livelihood, but should always be there to empower those who need it. This would make the power balance a little bit closer to even.

This is my proposed solution.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

snail said:


> I worry that legalizing prostitution would only add to the culture of objectification and encourage society to see sex as a commodity. This is already enough of a problem because of hyper-sexualized advertising and internet porn.
> 
> Unless the specific prostitute you hire likes sex and wants it, hiring a prostitute is also morally questionable. Paying someone for sex s/he doesn't want is a form of coercion, an abuse of power in which you have what someone else needs in order to survive (money), and you use it to make him/her do degrading things s/he wouldn't otherwise be willing to do (have unwanted sex). I know this may seem normal because we are used to the everyday evils of capitalism, but there is something fundamentally cruel and exploitative about it. Whether threatening punishment or enticing the prostitute with a reward, using someone for sex, even knowing that s/he is miserable and may only be doing it because s/he feels like s/he has no choice, puts you on a very fine line between being a rapist and having consensual sex, and I tend to lean toward considering it rape. If you have to pay for consent, it isn't being freely given.
> 
> ...


I do see what you're saying, and I like your well-thought-out ideas. However, it's only with legalization of prostitution that brothels or escort services could be monitored and prosecuted for abuses of employees, for example. They would have to have a license like strip clubs do. 

I actually think there should be more programs in place to help prostitutes. Most arrests are done to street prostitutes (ostensibly to get them off the street, and to address other issues, such as severe drug addiction or homelessness) with "tickets" often being given with fines to escorts. 

However, even escorts can engage in the degrading acts the mean described in their horrific "reviews" often due to things like being molested or raped as children or teenagers, in which case these women do not have healthy boundaries despite hating or even being hurt by what they're doing, they've never been able to say "no" because they aren't used to having ownership of their body. 

These women need someone to help them who isn't going to arrest them. Usually programs like this only exist for teenagers or immigrants exploited by pimps or madams, and in some rarer cases, the most desperate adult street hookers.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

JoetheBull said:


> I guess since this topic does relate to me a bit since I am a hetero male that has trouble dating, fwb, and anything with sex and women. I would like to disagree with see a prostitute is better than dating. But technically I don't really have a right to say. Only thing I can argue is that I would prefer to know the person I am having sex with and be comfortable being with them and not be nervous that they have a STD that will somehow go threw the condom or be transferred while kissing(Yes I have kissed a hooker), being arrested, them not enjoying it/getting hurt and not telling me so I can either stop doing it wrong or just stop.
> 
> I may be stuck having only prostitutes only willing to have sex with me. Still think the dating and relationships are less depressing. But what the hell does a loser like me know.


Please don't call yourself a loser.

But I appreciate you chiming in here that you'd rather date, and that you actually care if you're hurting the sex worker. Why not just ask her if she's comfortable or if what you're doing is okay?


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## JoetheBull (Apr 29, 2010)

fourtines said:


> Please don't call yourself a loser.
> 
> But I appreciate you chiming in here that you'd rather date, and that you actually care if you're hurting the sex worker. Why not just ask her if she's comfortable or if what you're doing is okay?


Sorry. It's not easy to not call myself a loser. It's a bit of a habit and kind of used to being viewed as one.

I do ask if I am hurting them and tell they can tell me if I am doing something wrong. Only had one girl said that a a certain positioned hurt(her on top). Some of the others never say anything but I worry that they are holding there tongue or they didn't understand me. I consider sex less enjoyable when they don't seem to enjoy it at least a little. Also don't view prostitutes as less or non human. Not sure how people do.


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## mamadabinski (Jan 2, 2013)

mamadabinski said:


> Please tell me this is a troll thread. Please?





Promethea said:


> OP admitted in another thread his motive with all hes been doing here is to troll, btw.
> 
> It seems that some are actually enjoying debating this topic though, so have at it.


YAY!!! See? Ask and you shall receive.


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## MrsAndrewJacoby (Apr 11, 2013)

Promethea said:


> OP admitted in another thread his motive with all hes been doing here is to troll, btw.
> 
> It seems that some are actually enjoying debating this topic though, so have at it.


Yeah, some of the previous threads he'd posted made me wonder. This thread just confirmed it in my mind.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

MrsAndrewJacoby said:


> Yeah, some of the previous threads he'd posted made me wonder. This thread just confirmed it in my mind.


Lol.. yeah.. the thread about his personal prefs where he listed what cell phone service provider she should have was a huge tip off. XD


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## Luke (Oct 17, 2010)

I wouldn't enjoy having sex with someone who wasn't actually attracted to me and was just doing it for the money. It would be a very uncomfortable feeling.


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## The Proof (Aug 5, 2009)

yeah, unless you actually like someone and will not care about immediate gratification

OP's content is fairly immature imo


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## icecream (Nov 22, 2011)

The prize of sex: the customer vs the prostitute. At the end of the day, its a business filled with victims.


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## Navi (Jul 8, 2012)

>mfw this thread


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## SlowPoke68 (Apr 26, 2010)

Guys who are strictly just looking to get laid should go with prostitutes instead of trying to charm, manipulate, or coerce girls into sleeping with them. It works out better for both genders that way.

Feel free to preach to these horny guys about the wonders of a real relationship, respect for women, etc etc. It's going to fall on deaf ears. They want to get laid. When they just want to get laid I usually advise the direct path that guarantees that each party is on the same page and there's something in it for both of them. I don't recommend they tempt some young woman who can't yet tell the difference between sex and love into giving into them. There's already enough bitterness and heartbreak out there. Might as well go with someone who's already bitter and heartbroken if the goal is to just get one's wick wet.

People saying they could never do it with anyone who isn't really, totally into it and sincerely enjoying them for being them probably won't have much of a sex life. Ever. With anyone.


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## loving2011 (Nov 6, 2012)

As a woman, I was thinking about this earlier. I don't look down on prostitution and the men (or women) that use it.

Some men complain about the idea of a woman waiting to have sex while dating. My well-meaning advice is,*"If a woman waiting makes you so mad, then walk away from them and find someone that won't wait." *Getting a hooker will actually get you laid. Whining about women that don't want to have sex with you right away and TRYING to convince them to change their mind won't help with you anything.I'm not being facetious or flippant. I really mean that when I recommend getting a hooker. Just be safe and discreet.


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