# 4w5 and INFP: am I doomed?



## VeryMinorEvil (Jul 5, 2010)

Joy of joys, I seem to be the two types least capable of dealing with the world. And even worse, it's all true. I _am_ prone to depression, isolation, and rejection of things that seem shallow or don't ring true to me personally. As a result, there's almost nothing I connect to. I'm 32, I'm meant to be a functional adult with a stable job, my own living space and perhaps a partner, but none of that is happening. Is there such a thing as morbid romanticism? There ought to be. I feel like I can't do what I don't believe in, or I'd be giving in to a world that I consider ugly and wrong, but holding out gets me nowhere.

Help?


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## Raichu (Aug 24, 2012)

VeryMinorEvil said:


> I feel like I can't do what I don't believe in, or I'd be giving in to a world that I consider ugly and wrong, but holding out gets me nowhere.


I can relate. I can't do what I don't think is fun and easy. Science is fun, but it's too hard. Writing is easy, but it's too boring. I keep waiting for the perfect career to just run up to me and slap me in the face, like a job where I can just play with dogs all day, so I am also getting nowhere. I can't bear to spend any significant amount of time not having fun, but that's not how life works if you want to be able to afford things. Like food. So I'm probably gonna live with my parents until they die, and then I'll be homeless, and then I'll babysit people's dogs while they go grocery shopping in exchange for cheeseburgers. And then I'll die alone. And my life will have been totally useless, but at least it wasn't hard or boring, right? :dry:


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## 54-46 ThatsMyNumber (Mar 26, 2011)

VeryMinorEvil said:


> Joy of joys, I seem to be the two types least capable of dealing with the world. And even worse, it's all true. I _am_ prone to depression, isolation, and rejection of things that seem shallow or don't ring true to me personally. As a result, there's almost nothing I connect to. I'm 32, I'm meant to be a functional adult with a stable job, my own living space and perhaps a partner, but none of that is happening. Is there such a thing as morbid romanticism? There ought to be. I feel like I can't do what I don't believe in, or I'd be giving in to a world that I consider ugly and wrong, but holding out gets me nowhere.
> 
> Help?[/QUOTE
> 
> Hello sweetheart, I am a 34 year old 5w4 infp so I think I can relate, or is it I feel I can relate. I to feel completely disconnected from just about everything and everybody. Chase money or job title, no thanks, accumulate material possessions, never, become close to people or even family members, can't, there is never a true connection felt. I usually feel tolerated not understood and accepted. I just be me to the best of my abilities, I can't worry if people are going to understand or not, I just know that when I try to live a life other then the one my soul intended it ends up hurting me a lot more then people not getting me. So I work, reside, live and love on my own terms. I have a lot more to say, for I felt like you for a long time but I'm not sure what you want to hear. You can ask me anything anytime. Just never give up on yourself or give in to what doesn't feel right..


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## Judis (Jul 28, 2013)

VeryMinorEvil said:


> Joy of joys, I seem to be the two types least capable of dealing with the world. And even worse, it's all true. I _am_ prone to depression, isolation, and rejection of things that seem shallow or don't ring true to me personally. As a result, there's almost nothing I connect to. I'm 32, I'm meant to be a functional adult with a stable job, my own living space and perhaps a partner, but none of that is happening. Is there such a thing as morbid romanticism? There ought to be. I feel like I can't do what I don't believe in, or I'd be giving in to a world that I consider ugly and wrong, but holding out gets me nowhere.
> 
> Help?



Yes, you are Doomed.

Because you believe that you are in a box.

If you accept that you can be what ever it is that you want to be, you will be just that.

Unless if this is what you want...


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## 66393 (Oct 17, 2013)

True words. I'm gonna build off what the guy said above me about the box. You feel this world is putting you in a box of things you don't want to do. By not wanting to do anything and not giving to the world you are putting yourself into yet another box, this one being especially unenjoyable. If you feel you can't do anything in this world then with that attitude you will have no ambition to do anything. 

I don't know what your beliefs are but I understand where you're coming from. If you want to make an impact or do anything while intertwining your beliefs you must conform at least a little to get there. Stay up and goodluck


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## Razare (Apr 21, 2009)

VeryMinorEvil said:


> I feel like I can't do what I don't believe in, or I'd be giving in to a world that I consider ugly and wrong, but holding out gets me nowhere.
> 
> Help?


Beliefs should prosper a person in life, otherwise they're incorrect beliefs, as determined by an impartial judge, life.

Now, I'm not talking about financial prosperity, but it can include that. I'm talking about life prosperity in terms of having a fulfilling life of joy and abundance of good things.

In other words, if it's not working, something in your belief process is incorrect.

That you are prone to depression, isolation, and rejection suggests something is wrong as well. I know from experience that it is common among your type. That does not mean you cannot find out a way of correcting the incorrect beliefs, fixing your life in the process.

You see, with every type there are potentially problematic areas... but with that, there are also ways of overcoming those problems.

As an enneagram 4, for example, your basic fear is: *That they have no identity or personal significance*

Yet this fear is actually unfounded, you do have an identity and significance. Realizing this, and being it, is the challenge.

As for the INFP type, you're going to seek to be in an environment that fits your ideals.

The issue with this is, that your ideals might be wrong, but if they're not, then you should be able to find an environment that meets them. I would say, you might even find that environment if your ideals are wrong, as there is a lot out there. The thing with this, though, is you have to accept the journey of getting to a place where your environment matches your ideals. It's probably never a finished thing for an INFP.


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## Roze (Sep 12, 2010)

Judis said:


> Yes, you are Doomed.
> 
> Because you believe that you are in a box.
> 
> ...





kev said:


> True words. I'm gonna build off what the guy said above me about the box. You feel this world is putting you in a box of things you don't want to do. By not wanting to do anything and not giving to the world you are putting yourself into yet another box, this one being especially unenjoyable. If you feel you can't do anything in this world then with that attitude you will have no ambition to do anything.
> 
> I don't know what your beliefs are but I understand where you're coming from. If you want to make an impact or do anything while intertwining your beliefs you must conform at least a little to get there. Stay up and goodluck


These two echo everything I want to say. Because you believe that type and that number are the limits of your life, you're going to keep yourself stuck in a rut for the rest of your life. Maybe I'm the only one but I am under the influence that the MBTI and the Enneagram system were created for the sake of helping to discovering ourselves and therefore becoming better people by coming to know the -you- inside, and putting your best foot forward in spite of your flaws. You have to be strong in the face of the world and stick to your guns. Depressive states happen, I know, but there is always a way to help beat those negative thoughts back. Depression may happen, but having friends around you, that care for your wellbeing can certainly help you through that process.

Believe it or not there's an inner beauty lying within you that can change this world and you don't even know it yet. First thing you need to do, and it takes time, is to get your mind right. Change that mindset around because you can accomplish whatever you want to in this world; you have the power to do it. Who cares about what four letters and two numbers can tell people? It's the person behind all of that - the you that fuels your personality that matters above everything else.

So no, you're not doomed.


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## VeryMinorEvil (Jul 5, 2010)

First of all, I want to thank everyone for responding. I realize that I was basically just feeling sorry for myself all over the Internet and it's never fun to be on the receiving end of that.

Yes, my feelings can be very box-like at times. I have chronic depression, so even before I found the MBTI and the enneagram my outlook was not the best. I had some faith in the great invisible when I was younger, but that got almost entirely killed by circumstances I won't detail here. I do take medication and see a counselor, but I'm still struggling with some larger problems that neither of those can fix. My dad laughs and calls it "existentialism", and he's at least partially right. I don't know where I can afford to compromise without compromising myself.


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## Judis (Jul 28, 2013)

VeryMinorEvil said:


> First of all, I want to thank everyone for responding. I realize that I was basically just feeling sorry for myself all over the Internet and it's never fun to be on the receiving end of that.
> 
> Yes, my feelings can be very box-like at times. I have chronic depression, so even before I found the MBTI and the enneagram my outlook was not the best. I had some faith in the great invisible when I was younger, but that got almost entirely killed by circumstances I won't detail here. I do take medication and see a counselor, but I'm still struggling with some larger problems that neither of those can fix. My dad laughs and calls it "existentialism", and he's at least partially right. I don't know where I can afford to compromise without compromising myself.



You look new here, so I'm going to point you in the direction of a thread that may help.

It's in the "Advice Center",
then go to "Tips for fighting depression".(It should be the on on the top)


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## ThePhantom (Apr 19, 2014)

I'm an INFP and Enneagram 4. I too have experienced all of those feelings you listed. I know what a struggle it can be to feel both curiousity and apprehension about "joining the real world" instead of just living in my own little romantic INFP world. I'm sorry I don't have words of advice currently, but I just wanted to throw it out there that you're not alone.


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## feeg1 (Feb 12, 2014)

Well I don't want to be _that_ guy, but there are drugs of all kind that simulate different emotions or help synthesize different chemicals in the brain.


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## VeryMinorEvil (Jul 5, 2010)

VeryMinorEvil said:


> Joy of joys, I seem to be the two types least capable of dealing with the world. And even worse, it's all true. I _am_ prone to depression, isolation, and rejection of things that seem shallow or don't ring true to me personally. As a result, there's almost nothing I connect to. I'm 32, I'm meant to be a functional adult with a stable job, my own living space and perhaps a partner, but none of that is happening. Is there such a thing as morbid romanticism? There ought to be. I feel like I can't do what I don't believe in, or I'd be giving in to a world that I consider ugly and wrong, but holding out gets me nowhere.
> 
> Help?


::stare:: Raichu...are we related?


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

VeryMinorEvil said:


> Joy of joys, I seem to be the two types least capable of dealing with the world. And even worse, it's all true. I _am_ prone to depression, isolation, and rejection of things that seem shallow or don't ring true to me personally. As a result, there's almost nothing I connect to. I'm 32, I'm meant to be a functional adult with a stable job, my own living space and perhaps a partner, but none of that is happening. Is there such a thing as morbid romanticism? There ought to be. I feel like I can't do what I don't believe in, or I'd be giving in to a world that I consider ugly and wrong, but holding out gets me nowhere.
> 
> Help?


Your core type is not a limitation, it's a starting point. Where you go from there is up to you.


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## Eggsies (Feb 5, 2013)

You're not doomed. You hear the parrots squawk every day, no? And you've been eating their crackers. If you think you're insignificant then you've been fooled. Hey, you're not an asshole, and even if you were, remember, nobody's shit would smell better.


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## absyrd (Jun 1, 2013)

Rise to the challenge. You're playing life on hard mode. Win it or quit it. But you must believe in and care for yourself before anyone else can follow.


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