# I did not get a 4.0 this semester



## sockratees (Apr 7, 2015)

1. Work on your internal validation.
2. Look up extrinsic vs intrinsic value.
3. See a therapist.


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## Ben8 (Jul 5, 2013)

Angelic Gardevoir said:


> Did I write this post in a parallel universe or something?
> 
> Perfectionism, especially with grades, has been something I've always struggled with. I haven't had to deal with it much recently since I've been out of school, but I'm sure if I were to get back into an academic setting my old patterns would rear their ugly head again.
> 
> ...


I would say to them, "Yeah, you couldn't get perfect grades either. You're just average." I sent an e-mail to my dean looking to see if I can repeat the course with a grade replacement on my B to see if I can get an A. Hopefully I will be able to so I can fix the issue.


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## aendern (Dec 28, 2013)

lackofmops said:


> explain please
> 
> 3.0 is considered good


3.11 is considered "average" in the US.


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## Ben8 (Jul 5, 2013)

chanteuse said:


> So sorry to hear that! Perhaps the sun won't rise tomorrow due to this catastrophic event.
> 
> You are probably young and haven't met failure much before. I do hope your lucky streak would continue, that there will not be any bump on the road except this 3.9 GPA. God forbid what you'd do if anything more serious would befall.


You know next to nothing about me and my life. Let's stop with the assumptions. Also, I don't understand the benefit in degrading my personal issue because you can't seem to relate to it. Unfortunately, life isn't as simple as you want to make it. I've had my fair share of difficulties, the kinds of difficulties that you may consider more of an issue than this one. Getting a B in school on its own is nothing. I am completely aware of this. However, you seem to lack the ability to consider that everyone is different and we all have issues that are personal only to us in how they affect our lives. Not everyone reacts to the same things the same way.


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## nichya (Jul 12, 2014)

Ben8 said:


> I would say to them, "Yeah, you couldn't get perfect grades either. You're just average." I sent an e-mail to my dean looking to see if I can repeat the course with a grade replacement on my B to see if I can get an A. Hopefully I will be able to so I can fix the issue.


In all honesty, you could spend that time much more wisely than repeating a course you are already good at. You want to please the system which is almost never possible, not because you are not good enough, but because the system is not perfect enough. You are only on your 2nd semester, if you keep repeating courses like this you will make your ride extremely tedious while you could spend that time, effort, money to expand your skills and experiences -beyond- the school which will ultimately be the key to your future career instead of your GPA. I hope you will be aware that you are letting irrational fears get to you. It is not that I am underestimating your -problem- but it really is not efficient.


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## Angelic Gardevoir (Oct 7, 2010)

Ben8 said:


> I would say to them, "Yeah, you couldn't get perfect grades either. You're just average." I sent an e-mail to my dean looking to see if I can repeat the course with a grade replacement on my B to see if I can get an A. Hopefully I will be able to so I can fix the issue.


You'd really say that to them? 

I'd definitely try to look into counseling. And honestly, if most people had a GPA like that, they'd be celebrating. Getting a perfect GPA is very rare in college, and one-tenth of a grade point isn't going to make much of a difference in the long run. Be proud of yourself! You aren't average in the slightest! I know that might be hard to believe, but it's true. (Though that's easy for me to say since I'm not currently in your position.)


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## Dao (Sep 13, 2013)

Ben8 said:


> I would say to them, "Yeah, you couldn't get perfect grades either. You're just average." I sent an e-mail to my dean looking to see if I can repeat the course with a grade replacement on my B to see if I can get an A. Hopefully I will be able to so I can fix the issue.


I agree with the other posters here that seeking counseling would be a great idea. It sounds like you have some prominent issues that need to be smoothed over and I am sorry that they are impacting you and your educational experience.

You are wasting your own valuable time, money and energy by repeating that course and I would be surprised to see your request approved. A grade replacement here would look absurd on your transcript and a repeat course will only delay your progression towards graduation. It would also behoove you to consider that as time goes on, especially during your upper division tenure, earning a less than perfect grade here and there is inevitable. By the time you are an upperclassman you will simply have too many course-related responsibilities to expect consistent 4.0s.

You are still so new to the university system. Speak to your professors, TAs and upperclassmen about their university experiences, academic culture, what makes a quality student and what to expect. Foster enduring professional relationships with these people. Perhaps that will lend more perspective to your anxieties.


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## Aizar (Mar 21, 2011)

<,< Could I have your 3.9? Puh-WEASE??

Seriously though, count your blessings you even got a 3.9! That's a very good score. Are you sure this is only about grades and there isn't something else bothering you? Reason I say this is when I get depressed, I tend to fixate on a particular problem rather than look deeper.


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

Ben8 said:


> I know this probably sounds crazy, but it really meant a lot to me and I couldn't pull through no matter how hard I tried. I feel like a total idiot and everyone is judging me thinking, "Oh look, he gets normal grades. He's normal."


Congratulations.

It's good you learn this while you're still in college, rather than at work. Academics != Real world and no matter how good or bad you are will not make you any better or worse when it comes to actual hands on work in your first job. You'll likely suck or at best be average until a very long time down the road. Actual skill doesn't come from studying but from hands on experience and actual failure(s).

If this is an issue for you life is going to be your worst enemy. Or rather, you'll be your own.


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## RantnRave (May 1, 2015)

Ben8 said:


> You know next to nothing about me and my life. Let's stop with the assumptions. Also, I don't understand the benefit in degrading my personal issue because you can't seem to relate to it. Unfortunately, life isn't as simple as you want to make it. I've had my fair share of difficulties, the kinds of difficulties that you may consider more of an issue than this one. Getting a B in school on its own is nothing. I am completely aware of this. However, you seem to lack the ability to consider that everyone is different and we all have issues that are personal only to us in how they affect our lives. Not everyone reacts to the same things the same way.


Don't assume in this life you know what is best for you.

Sometimes you need distance from problems to see their significance. I've had problems in my life that I thought were absolutely devastating at the time but proved to lead to something greater down the road. 

The significance of this event is not your GPA, rather it is your reaction to it. It is something that is a massive blow to you psychologically. 

Example: I had a friend that went to Western for Computer Science. His entire life's goal was to work for Research in Motion (Blackberry). He would never shut up about how he was going to be the next VP, etc. He applied for an internship and was rejected because the other applicant was related to the poster for the position. Nepotism at its finest! He became so depressed that his life started degenerating. The happy guy that would talk your ear off about cellphone software became silent. This was in 2008.

What happened? He applied and received an internship 6 months later with Samsung. He worked hard and eventually became an android software developer. In 2009 he started to release his own android applications and got involved with a software advertising company called AdMob. He became a small shareholder in the company and started developing the advertising software link within the android phones. Literally 4 months later Google bought out Admob for almost 1 billion dollars.

Had he received that internship at Blackberry, would his life have been better?


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## Ben8 (Jul 5, 2013)

RantnRave said:


> Don't assume in this life you know what is best for you.
> 
> Sometimes you need distance from problems to see their significance. I've had problems in my life that I thought were absolutely devastating at the time but proved to lead to something greater down the road.
> 
> ...


The issue with that, for me, is I care more about things that are personal to me and not the end result. Let's say I end up with a 3.5 GPA, end up at an Ivy League school for graduate school, get married, have kids, become rich off of some patent, etc. That's cool and all, but I don't really care about anything past what I am dealing with now. Will this situation lead me to bigger and better things? Maybe. Do I care about that? Not really.


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## nichya (Jul 12, 2014)

RantnRave said:


> Don't assume in this life you know what is best for you.
> 
> Sometimes you need distance from problems to see their significance. I've had problems in my life that I thought were absolutely devastating at the time but proved to lead to something greater down the road.
> 
> ...


I love fairy tales of this sort.


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

#Firstworldproblems

Seriously? Just because you scored a lower GPA doesn't mean it wasn't good, that you couldn't bump it up again, or that your first doesn't matter. I also got careless after my first semester, and received several Cs and Ds (yeah). I repeated the courses, had the initial grades replaced, and it was like they never happened. 

Those are far from "normal" grades. You're at the top. I never understood those who had meltdowns over an A instead of an A+. Unless your parents gave you an ultimatum, or you know for a fact that this is going to hurt your chances of getting into some program, it's not that big of a deal. 

And who cares if people see you as normal? You're doing this for you, not them. Look at the bigger picture: there are graduates who had less-than-perfect grades, but because they were well-rounded and experienced, were favored over others with "perfect" records. I'd be more worried if you never faced failure or challenge.

A part of me is upset that you're doing so well but still aren't satisfied (I always struggled in school), but at the same time, know what it's like to fall short of expectations. If something so small is enough to break you, you're in for a surprise once you enter the real world. Get back in there and try again.


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## TheProphetLaLa (Aug 18, 2014)

Hello again Ben. I missed our talks. 

Don't feel too bad about the 3.9. (I know easier said than done.) If it makes you feel any better I'm pretty sure I have like a 2.0 or something… School and me had a couple of fights. Needless to say, school won. I know when I'm feeling really bad about myself sometimes all it takes is to know others are doing even worse to make me feel better. So there you go. Take this little bit of sunshine and hold it close. Let it warm your spirits. No need to thank me.


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## RantnRave (May 1, 2015)

Ben8 said:


> The issue with that, for me, is I care more about things that are personal to me and not the end result. Let's say I end up with a 3.5 GPA, end up at an Ivy League school for graduate school, get married, have kids, become rich off of some patent, etc. That's cool and all, but I don't really care about anything past what I am dealing with now. Will this situation lead me to bigger and better things? Maybe. Do I care about that? Not really.


I'm not going to tell you what to care about. It seems to me you realize you have issues with your way of viewing things so that is a good start. Failure is something that is very difficult to overcome when you're not used to it. It's easy to place your own value to the things you do.

The problem with this thinking in your scenario is that you don't have full control over your GPA. This may sound counter to what others believe but it is my experience that your professors have the control. Have you ever been unfairly judged? I've created products that others have said are absolute garbage. Interestingly enough, they've all sold extremely well. What does it come down to? Vision.

Those that share your vision will compliment. Those that envy your vision will rebel. Those that don't understand your vision will criticize. 

Your grade is subject to someone else's interpretation of your understanding. Is it right then to be overly critical of yourself when certain important parameters are out of your control? You be the judge of that.


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## nichya (Jul 12, 2014)

RantnRave said:


> I'm not going to tell you what to care about. It seems to me you realize you have issues with your way of viewing things so that is a good start. Failure is something that is very difficult to overcome when you're not used to it. It's easy to place your own value to the things you do.
> 
> The problem with this thinking in your scenario is that you don't have full control over your GPA. This may sound counter to what others believe but it is my experience that your professors have the control. Have you ever been unfairly judged? I've created products that others have said are absolute garbage. Interestingly enough, they've all sold extremely well. What does it come down to? Vision.
> 
> ...


No control at all. I had this electronics class, my midterms were over 95 then instead of studying for the parts I missed in class I watched my tv show's finale before the final and got something like 76 which cost me a ton of grades, then my professor gave me an even lower grade than what would be with the percentages because she feels like finals is much more important than midterms (isn't the percentages for that already?) Anyways she let only one person get an A in the whole class, who did average on both midterms but aced the final. I talked to the dean, she was warned in a friendly manner, my grade didn't change (although 2 years later she was thrown out of the university for stealing from others' articles)

I had this class you were expected to make a -robot- of some sort in the first ever semester. They didn't teach anything about making a robot as well. I got a lower grade because my robot looked -too professional- only because it had a nice wooden layer shell.

I had this professor who would teach us crap and then ask out of the world questions in the exam and would ridiculously grade them so much so that only 2 people got over 40 in the exam. He also seemed to take pleasure in that, I mean not teaching but calling his class -though- I argued with him until he came to his senses and changed his style, he was sent to another school a year later because of the reviews he got.

Another professor who would pick 2 over the top students in the class, to grade others' papers..and another student to take care of his lab. I told him that the person who read my paper graded it wrong and I demanded him fix it, he kept saying later for months and during one of these conversations one of the girls ( who worked with him) came in and asked for a fix on her paper and he did it in front of my eyes and I told him what he was doing by letting another person in the class was already illegal and his ways were not fair. We totally had an argument. He sent me an email right before the grades were due and apologized. He said he got the papers fixed but with the -for some reason- lower kind of grade he gave me on a homework ( which was open to subject grading) my final grade did not change.

My adviser for BS final project refused to -advise- me because my team mate was never on time for meetings, didn't do anything at all, which was true but how come I am the one being punished? I told him my objectives for the project and I did them too, so I guided myself throughout the whole process.

This is just a few of the terrible experiences I have had. I never let them get away and I was always outspoken but the world is not fair. I got every opportunity I was given thanks to other skills of mine and more than often I was chosen among the ones in my class, in some cases even among ivy league students who had better GPAs, who interned in famous companies (note that famous companies does not equal to getting good work done) I understand your fixation is disregarding what is beyond but instead of wrecking your nerves on this I would go for mastering a topic instead.


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## Ben8 (Jul 5, 2013)

nichya said:


> No control at all. I had this electronics class, my midterms were over 95 then instead of studying for the parts I missed in class I watched my tv show's finale before the final and got something like 76 which cost me a ton of grades, then my professor gave me an even lower grade than what would be with the percentages because she feels like finals is much more important than midterms (isn't the percentages for that already?) Anyways she let only one person get an A in the whole class, who did average on both midterms but aced the final. I talked to the dean, she was warned in a friendly manner, my grade didn't change (although 2 years later she was thrown out of the university for stealing from others' articles)
> 
> I had this class you were expected to make a -robot- of some sort in the first ever semester. They didn't teach anything about making a robot as well. I got a lower grade because my robot looked -too professional- only because it had a nice wooden layer shell.
> 
> ...


I can relate. In some of my weed out classes I got A's in, I was graded unfairly. I would get 30 points deducted off papers because I either, "used too big words" or I "didn't explain it clear enough" even when my peers easily saw what I was saying. I've been through quite a few of those classes. I think the real issue is trying to be as good as my friends at better universities doing better things and getting better grades. I feel like they're judging me and they think they're better. I confronted them of this and they said they thought I was smart and all that. They never spoke down to me or anything. It's just this mindset I have from my earlier years in school.


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## RantnRave (May 1, 2015)

Ben8 said:


> I can relate. In some of my weed out classes I got A's in, I was graded unfairly. I would get 30 points deducted off papers because I either, "used too big words" or I "didn't explain it clear enough" even when my peers easily saw what I was saying. I've been through quite a few of those classes. I think the real issue is trying to be as good as my friends at better universities doing better things and getting better grades. I feel like they're judging me and they think they're better. I confronted them of this and they said they thought I was smart and all that. They never spoke down to me or anything. It's just this mindset I have from my earlier years in school.


So here is the bread and butter of the problem. Competition can be healthy or destructive. Your feelings are a bi-product of your own self worth. You value being the best or being better than your competition. That is healthy in a definitive environment. Due to the large amount of variables, worth should not be determined by grades or institution.

Look at it like an experiment. If you're going to compare results of two different properties then you need to sustain a controlled environment. In your case, the environments are completely different. Therefor, the only way to determine worth based on GPA is to compare yourself to others in the same environment; your classmates. Even then you have issues due to preferential treatment, sexism, racism, predjudice, etc.

I'd find a different yardstick for yourself.


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## lackofmops (Mar 13, 2014)

emberfly said:


> 3.11 is considered "average" in the US.


oh dang well not at my school

If I got a 3.0 my parents would be psyched and I would probably get a few high fives

You should probably put less of your self-worthi nto your grades.


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## lackofmops (Mar 13, 2014)

Ben8 said:


> You know next to nothing about me and my life. Let's stop with the assumptions. Also, I don't understand the benefit in degrading my personal issue because you can't seem to relate to it. Unfortunately, life isn't as simple as you want to make it. I've had my fair share of difficulties, the kinds of difficulties that you may consider more of an issue than this one. Getting a B in school on its own is nothing. I am completely aware of this. However, you seem to lack the ability to consider that everyone is different and we all have issues that are personal only to us in how they affect our lives. Not everyone reacts to the same things the same way.


Dude. Um, you're being kind of a dick. This is an extremely aggressive response to a pretty mellow statement about you.

Why so sensitive? And why is your entire self-worth invested in something as meaningless as _grades?_


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## Ben8 (Jul 5, 2013)

lackofmops said:


> Dude. Um, you're being kind of a dick. This is an extremely aggressive response to a pretty mellow statement about you.
> 
> Why so sensitive? And why is your entire self-worth invested in something as meaningless as _grades?_


I think it was an apropos response based on the assumptions made about me.


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## nichya (Jul 12, 2014)

Ben8 said:


> I can relate. In some of my weed out classes I got A's in, I was graded unfairly. I would get 30 points deducted off papers because I either, "used too big words" or I "didn't explain it clear enough" even when my peers easily saw what I was saying. I've been through quite a few of those classes. I think the real issue is trying to be as good as my friends at better universities doing better things and getting better grades. I feel like they're judging me and they think they're better. I confronted them of this and they said they thought I was smart and all that. They never spoke down to me or anything. It's just this mindset I have from my earlier years in school.


Ahh are you a Fe user? Ti user? I don't know, I have had a lot of friends like you, mostly INFJs. In my mind, noone has that amount of time to put their nose in details such as what grades you get in a class but that is how my mind works and I tend to think everyone is that way which may not be true. Indeed, my first reaction to those friends were, in what way they put it or what did they imply or say about this that make you think so. With no exception my friends struggle to find a specific occasion, I am not going to disregard someone's intuition but they didn't have a concrete example or even a hint. The others, to them, all sounds so profound and arrogant and whatever but I still doubt someone has that kind of energy. I told this to my friend and she told me she found my thesis paper online and read it. Funny thing is she was in english, I am in computer science so apparently she -is- the one who has too much time to find too specific things and "judge" people depending on that, not the others, not in an open way that we know of anyway.

I would say forget the rest and always try to beat your own limits if you want to grow but perhaps it is a social first thing and well..I am social last so..unless it is pointed out at me it is difficult for me to care too much really. For the same reasons don't become dependent on other's appraisal either.


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## enmity (Jul 14, 2012)

I know how you feel. I ruined my 4.0 GPA in my final semester due to some unfair grading. Sometimes you could do everything right and not get an A because the grading policy was rotten. Some schools count A+ as 4.3 so you might have a chance of bringing it back depending on where you are going to university.


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