# Advice for a rural extrovert?



## Hypaspist (Feb 11, 2012)

Apparently people say I live in the suburbs. Not buying it, I was awoken by a particularly loud sheep on 3 occasions the past 2 weeks ffs.

As per the MBTI things and function quizzes, I'm an extrovert. The typical extrovert things, I find myself willingly driving into the heaviest traffic I can find during rush hour on the one major road in the town. Crowded restaurants? Love them. Work was awful until I heard the sound of people and commotion that turned me into a machine feeding off their energy. 

Now moving on the the present situation. I won't sugarcoat it, I've been looking the past 3 years for some way to energize or bring some life to the "town". The only club in town closed its doors a few years ago. Bars are few, none are really good places to meet people, only 2 restaurants with bar sections and 1 "bar" where I'd gladly go to have peace and quiet with isolation from the outside world. 

Why is this a problem? Well, for a start, I'm stumped. I've worked at this issue for many years. Solutions? I was on a whole other level in London, and a couple of other major European cities. Went clubbing while out on vacation, sat around drinking with a few friends. All well and fine, but now I come back home to the existence I was shoved into several years ago here. Social skills started to deteriorate because of the lack of the energized people in a city like London, Milan, or Warsaw. There are a couple of cities to the south, but I can't guarantee my own safety in the closest one and the other is most certainly an inner circle of hell for a driver when busy.

Any ideas on where to draw energy from? Any advice from someone in a similar situation?


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

ugh. Sorry. l've never been one for the countryside lol.

We moved to a rural area for a few months when l was a kid and l utterly freaked out.Mind you, we had no internet then. lt'd be the only outlet for me. l really can't hack the surroundings, just being in rural scenery makes me depressed.


You gotta get outta there e_e


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## Hypaspist (Feb 11, 2012)

I had the same "pleasure" when I was a kid too. Spent 3 days in a home in the country "indoor camping". 2 working power outlets, portable stove and manual everything. Was the happiest kid in the world when my mom picked me up and I saw the lights of the city again, so I can easily empathize! A former colleague of mine said she'd curl up in a ball and cry days away if she had to live where I do.

Unfortunately, I gotta wing it until I have a way out, I'm stuck here by "hard" time tables, thanks tho!


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## searcheagle (Sep 4, 2011)

Made Man said:


> Apparently people say I live in the suburbs. Not buying it, I was awoken by a particularly loud sheep on 3 occasions the past 2 weeks ffs.
> 
> As per the MBTI things and function quizzes, I'm an extrovert. The typical extrovert things, I find myself willingly driving into the heaviest traffic I can find during rush hour on the one major road in the town. Crowded restaurants? Love them. Work was awful until I heard the sound of people and commotion that turned me into a machine feeding off their energy.
> 
> ...


The key is to find ways to be happy no matter where you live. You may live in the country but that doesn't mean there are no people nearby. You may just need to create your own opportunities: make your own friends, host your own parties, etc. You aren't dependent on bars, clubs, etc. Make your own possibilities.


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## DAPHNE XO (Jan 16, 2012)

Can you not move?

Maybe start a social group? Are there a few people around your age with similar interests as you where you live?


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## Schweeeeks (Feb 12, 2013)

Sort of in the same boat as you. Finding friends to hang out with and stuff to do is hard. I tried starting a few groups, but most people are too caught up in their own lives to be interested.
What if you pour your energy into exercise?
You can torrent P90X or insanity workout, do yoga (or martial arts if there is a dojo in your town) and add a jogging regime. You'll be so busy, you won't notice there is nothing else to do.
The confidence boost alone is enough to keep me going.


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## Schweeeeks (Feb 12, 2013)

Some of the stuff I've tried:



Find Meetup groups near you - Meetup Cool site. May not be very active depending on your location. The ones that were tend to be full of older people. Not necessarily bad, but I wanted more people my age.
Experience Project - Personal Stories about any Life Experience PerC, Bucketlist » 10,000 things to do before you die Socionics - the16types.info forums etc: lots of forums in general. I didn't necessarily join them all. I noticed with me that VARIED interaction really helps. Talking to a few people all the time is wonderful, but LOTS of different people/activities puts me in this amazing state of mind.
Check your town's website. Sometimes they post events. May not be very fun or often, but hey if it's free and you having nothing better to do, why not? You never know. You might find someone else there just as bored as you are. 
Remember to Google events you DO like. Ex: I look up art gallery openings near me. Some of them don't show up on the town's website, so I have to plug in my town and "art gallery opening" into Google. Would you be interested in a marathon? Might be one near you that is not well-known.
Building a giant list of goals and striving to complete all of them. This basically blocks out my schedule so I have less time to think about my situation. Exercise can be very time consuming. Also it's super cheap! So many body resistance workouts out there. Torrenting helps too. Top 10 Highly-Desired Skills You Can Teach Yourself Videojug - Get Good At Life. The world
eHow | How to Videos, Articles & More - Discover the expert in you.
Or even start looking up stuff you WANT to do someday. Get all the groundwork done, so when you do have the chance to do it, you are prepared and ready to kick ass.
Blogging. I haven't done this much. Are you a big movie/TV buff? Go through movies you absolutely hated/loved and critique the crap out of it. Explain exactly why you have the opinion you do. If you really go into the nitty gritty, it will take quite awhile. You could join one of those review sites too. Comment on other people's reviews ("you read my mind! what a great movie." "you must have an IQ of a carrot! Why would you ever think that plot makes sense?")
Volunteer work. Yes, this can be _another _boring task. If you can find one cool person there, it might be worth it. Good time waster too.
I haven't tried Habitat for Humanity yet. I would love to. Looks like a lot of fun...obviously grueling work, but you get to learn all about housing structure, repairs, you get to make stuff. How cool. No commitment either. You call their hotline, the voice recording tells you the time and place and you show up if you feel like shaping up a shack. Does England have Habitat for Humanity too?
Pandora.com and LastFM.com Enough said. Listen to all sorts of stuff, not just what you like. That can be a decent replacement.
Are you into coding?
Learn to code | Codecademy Yeah, I know it can be boring. I would rather be outside somewhere
There are lots of opensource projects out there. Completely free to join. It's not the same as in person interaction, but you get you build stuff with a team. Kind of fun. I would love to do it someday. Not a programmer? They still need people to write manuals for whatever software they are producing. Yes, not as great as clubbing, but perhaps it can be mentally stimulating. You can make games and apps too!
Drawing/Photoshop. GIMP - The GNU Image Manipulation Program free version of photoshop pretty much. Drawing requires a pencil, eraser, paper and patience. Cheap, takes up a lot of time. Photoshop is fun too. Look up pictures and change them. What about writing? It could be plays, stories, personal experiences. Or even telling people how to DO stuff. Join ehow.com and show all the peons how it's done!
Memes! Oh I could LIVE on Reddit and all the fun pages on my Facebook news feed. Explore more. Web pages, photos, and videos | StumbleUpon.com Another gem.
Are you a gamer? I suppose it's not the most productive use of your time, but video games are lots of fun. You can also join an MMO. _CAUTION: Careful you don't let this rule your life!_
Personally MMOs were not enough. I was started becoming depressed on it. I know a lot of extroverts that completely thrived. Second best to seeing people.
Omegle: Talk to strangers! for all your trolling needs.
Learn a language. So I HATE how everyone says that to me. But it can be interesting. 
Acquire Rosetta Stone (even if it's by PirateBay) and give it a shot. Maybe you can join some foreign language forum to test your expertise. Learn accents?





That's the main for now. If I think of more stuff, I'll post later.
Off topic: Top Five Regrets of the Dying | Beyond the Opposites This terrified and motivated me all at once.


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## Schweeeeks (Feb 12, 2013)

Ummm I don't know why they are so tiny on here. Click for full size.

Edit: AHH I tried to remove the brain one, because it wasn't going through right and now it's stuck as a "attached thumbnail." Ugh! Who knows how to remove this thing???


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## Hypaspist (Feb 11, 2012)

JungleDisco said:


> Can you not move?
> 
> Maybe start a social group? Are there a few people around your age with similar interests as you where you live?


Unable for the near future. I'm more of an urban/suburban person, the way of life here is pretty much a quiet one, there have been a couple of parties on my street, but once somehow ended with the police and ambulance called, the other a far more subdued affair. None since.



Moop said:


> Some of the stuff I've tried:


I've been through some of these sites, thank you kindly. There is a lot of inspiration to be drawn from in this list.

About the MMORPG portion, I've already fallen into that trap quite a few years ago and dug out of it so I know the dangers all too well.


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## PowerShell (Feb 3, 2013)

The best thing to do is move. I live in a town in Central Wisconsin of 19,000 people with the nearest town of comparable size being 40 miles away. There's a few more bars around here but things like meetup groups and such as far an few between. I'm making my plan of escape. It's really the only way and most people in the small town won't understand.


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## Hypaspist (Feb 11, 2012)

PowerShell said:


> The best thing to do is move. I live in a town in Central Wisconsin of *19,000 people* with the nearest town of comparable size being 40 miles away. There's a few more bars around here but things like meetup groups and such as far an few between. I'm making my plan of escape. It's really the only way and most people in the small town won't understand.


That's about 8,000 more than mine. I think we're in the same boat, trying to liven up places like this doesn't work too well, especially when things are completely silent by 8 PM.


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## Schweeeeks (Feb 12, 2013)

Made Man said:


> That's about 8,000 more than mine. I think we're in the same boat, trying to liven up places like this doesn't work too well, especially when things are completely silent by 8 PM.


Teach the sheep how to dance.


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## Hypaspist (Feb 11, 2012)

Moop said:


> Teach the sheep how to dance.


Haha, nice! There was an idea of opening a club being kicked around a while ago, nothing came of it though.


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## PowerShell (Feb 3, 2013)

Made Man said:


> That's about 8,000 more than mine. I think we're in the same boat, trying to liven up places like this doesn't work too well, especially when things are completely silent by 8 PM.


Being in Wisconsin we have a ton of bars but everyone seems to always go to the same bar. They always have the same DJ, who in turn plays the same music. Overall it's just a boring repetitious weekend every single weekend. The thing it seems is most people are content with it and don't care. In fact, a lot of people I went to high school with are moving back from bigger cities. Thankfully we are in the 21rst Century so there is the internet but real contact with people is needed. Like I said, I am looking to move out from here to a bigger city.


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## Hypaspist (Feb 11, 2012)

Yup, the only thing we had here close to a club closed down and the ones open to the city farther south all attract the "hood" types and it's just too dangerous to go there at night.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

My sister is a rural extrovert, a true one: an Fe dom. We are from West Virginia, one of the least populated states in the nation. She manages to be friends with everyone and gets involved a lot with "helping" others.

That's what I'd recommend for a rural extrovert, to get involved in some way in your community in a "productive" way in a way that appeals to your own ethics and talents, whether that be at elementary schools, town politics, doing odd jobs for neighbors, or belonging to community watch. 

I think it helps my sister a lot that she comes from a good-sized family and there's always someone to talk, listen to, or assist if she feels lonely or bored. She's one of those "running around" types...I see this a lot in true extroverts with more prominent Fe (ExFJs and ExTPs) ...like they actually love driving around and performing errands, or visiting and counseling everyone they know, with their phone on constantly.

If you aren't an Fe type and simply need more Pe "stimulation" (I can't tell what your type is from this thread alone and haven't checked your profile)...have you considered taking up challenging yourself some way physically or mentally...like learning to rock climb, for example, in your rural area?

Do you miss excitement in its own right that often comes along with being in busy restaurants or cities...or the thrill of connecting with others, specifically?

Because you can find rural excitement if you're down for exploring or challenging yourself. My sister also does this. She's a rock climber, and my mother refers to her as The Crocodile Hunter, and I've seen her do what I considered exceedingly stupid things (given her lack of formal training) like taking a lighter and flicking it around a cave on a trail when we were hiking, when I strongly felt the presence of an animal...you don't do that in the presence of a potential natural predator, you make as much noise as possible to warn the animal...but don't move closer to its hidey hole, and exit stage left instead.


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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

Made Man said:


> Unable for the near future. I'm more of an urban/suburban person, the way of life here is pretty much a quiet one, there have been a couple of parties on my street, but once somehow ended with the police and ambulance called, the other a far more subdued affair. None since.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


You know what I noticed you said you even hate "indoor camping" (wtf is that, that's basically how I lived the first 9 years of my life, it was called "life" in 20th century Appalachia, we couldn't even get cable television up on my hill and there was certainly no Internet or cell phones, and had to drive to get to a grocery store, none in walking distance unless you planned to walk the entire afternoon...I do mean the entire afternoon).

Here's what people do when they really despise country living but demand excitement in a rural area (I'm beginning to think rock climbing would not be for you)...buy a motorcycle or start going 4-wheeling (this is a hugely popular past time in West Virginia).

I'm a little confused honestly by your supposed need for excitement but way of shutting yourself off from new experiences by claiming this or that place is dangerous or that country living is oppressive.

It seems to me you want to duplicate urban life, and it ain't gonna happen in a rural area. But I think you're missing "safe" excitement more than you maybe miss people.


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## PowerShell (Feb 3, 2013)

fourtines said:


> or belonging to community watch.


Just don't go George Zimmerman style with it :crazy:


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## Hypaspist (Feb 11, 2012)

fourtines said:


> You know what I noticed you said you even hate "indoor camping" (wtf is that, that's basically how I lived the first 9 years of my life, it was called "life" in 20th century Appalachia, we couldn't even get cable television up on my hill and there was certainly no Internet or cell phones, and had to drive to get to a grocery store, none in walking distance unless you planned to walk the entire afternoon...I do mean the entire afternoon).


I understand where you're coming from because my family lived the very same life (though in a different country) when they were kids/teens. One village had a population of about 15 people. I never did spend much time in such a place, but the "indoor camping" is living without running water, electricity only for a small stove and lights in 1 room. No fridge, 1 radio and nothing else. Entertainment was firing a flare gun in the backyard. Breakfast there was walking a bit to a farmer for fresh eggs and milk straight from the animals. Spices and herbs were what we had in the garden.



> Here's what people do when they really despise country living but demand excitement in a rural area (I'm beginning to think rock climbing would not be for you)...buy a motorcycle or start going 4-wheeling (this is a hugely popular past time in West Virginia).


I'd be interested in rock climbing, I've attempted it a couple of times before. And I actually was looking at quads not too long ago, they would be quite useful where I live for utility purposes.



> I'm a little confused honestly by your supposed need for excitement but way of shutting yourself off from new experiences by claiming this or that place is dangerous or that country living is oppressive.


It's as simple as taking a sensor who thrives in larger cities and placing them in rural Nebraska. Sure it's a fine existence for those who grew up in such a place, but it's different for people who grew up in more urban environments. In my case, it's simply trying to find a way to keep up energy levels and keep up the "momentum" I get when spending 2 weeks in Chicago, often downtown and amongst huge crowds. I know I'm not going to get that, but it's about finding ways to stay active and motivated.


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## PowerShell (Feb 3, 2013)

Made Man said:


> It's as simple as taking a sensor who thrives in larger cities and placing them in rural Nebraska. Sure it's a fine existence for those who grew up in such a place, but it's different for people who grew up in more urban environments. In my case, it's simply trying to find a way to keep up energy levels and keep up the "momentum" I get when spending 2 weeks in Chicago, often downtown and amongst huge crowds. I know I'm not going to get that, but it's about finding ways to stay active and motivated.


I know as an intuitive (ENTP), even growing up on 80 acres in the middle of nowhere, I like the big cities and where the action is. Basically where I lived had a zoning law 4 houses per side of the road per mile. That meant only 8 houses per mile in the township I lived in. Roaming the woods was nice, but it got boring fast. Luckily we had some internet (even if it was dial up until 2006).


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