# PerC Member Date Auction



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Wytch said:


> If I buy someone, can I make them my slave?


And now we have Wytch, who is looking for some kinky slaves










Looking through her started threads, almost all of them are found in personality test resource. What the fuck kind of waste of time is that? http://personalitycafe.com/personality-test-resources/

This is when she went through an ISTP phase http://personalitycafe.com/istp-for...-fictional-real-istps-being-epitome-istp.html


Wytch said:


> I don't think there's a thread like this already. If there is just tell me and I can edit this (or just don't reply).
> 
> Any way... I thought it'd be kind of fun to post pictures, gifs or videos of characters and people we like that are ISTPs, doing something that defines an ISTP.
> 
> ...


Whatever, anyway Wytch is totally into anal, if you don't mind it being yours after hers, too. Bid now and we'll see what happens.


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## Bunny (Jul 11, 2015)

Miles O said:


> I never said to whom I was bidding. Whoever accepts my 15 Ricky Martins will have me


My reply wasn't on who you were bidding for, just that you were bidding CDs :tongue:


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## Bunny (Jul 11, 2015)

@Drunk Parrot

Starting threads takes too much effort XD posting quizzes is easy peasy.

Wow, how'd you know I was into anal.:tongue:


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Wytch said:


> Starting threads takes too much effort XD posting quizzes is easy peasy.
> 
> Wow, how'd you know I was into anal.:tongue:


I just figured it was what you consider to be 3rd base.


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## Millie (Nov 22, 2014)

Wytch said:


> My reply wasn't on who you were bidding for, just that you were bidding CDs :tongue:


I'm pretty sure Ricky Martin CDs are a universal currency


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## Strayfire (Jun 26, 2010)

Miles O said:


> I never said to whom I was bidding. Whoever accepts my 15 Ricky Martins will have me


Rick Astley or nothing.


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## Strayfire (Jun 26, 2010)

Also this.


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## .17485 (Jan 12, 2011)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Hello and welcome to the first PerC member date auction. We have an assortment of PerC's most eligible bachelors and bachelorettes, ready to be auctioned off to the highest bidder. I know some of you are horny and all of you are lonely so this is the perfect opportunity to see if _Love is an Open Door!_
> 
> And remember, all proceeds go to the Save the INFPs Charity*
> 
> ...


Hey you can try me


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## mhysa (Nov 27, 2014)

okay assholes, fun's over, i'm here to bid on everyone with my largest, strongest dragon and then have it set OP on fire after i win so that i can flex my incredible plot armor.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

mhysa said:


> okay assholes, fun's over, i'm here to bid on everyone with my largest, strongest dragon and then have it set OP on fire after i win so that i can have my cake and eat it too.


Sorry, only one bid at a time, and unless you paid the deposit, you aren't allowed to burn down the OP. Finally, dragons aren't real.


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## mhysa (Nov 27, 2014)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Sorry, only one bid at a time, and unless you paid the deposit, you aren't allowed to burn down the OP. Finally, dragons aren't real.


and parrots can't type this well when they're drunk, everyone knows that, but here we are.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

mhysa said:


> and parrots can't type this well when they're drunk, everyone knows that, but here we are.


There's no research to back up that claim. Parrots actually type their best when they're drunk. Anyway, ready for me to auction you off?


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## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

This entire thread's a sham. What happens if I want to place a bid on @Drunk Parrot? OH WAIT CAN'T.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Nell said:


> A world-chilling silence would crush PerC the moment the bird goes on auction.
> The situation would be more hopeful (but only slightly) if you _pay_ the bidder to take him away instead.





italix said:


> I said "if it comes to it" in hopes someone else will because it seems like a lot of work hahaha I was hoping you'd write it yourself  I am merely interested in how others will react





kaleidoscope said:


> This entire thread's a sham. What happens if I want to place a bid on @Drunk Parrot? OH WAIT CAN'T.


Fine, I'll put myself up...

And now, the marquee item is...Me, Drunk Parrot!










I have hosted multiple parties & events with over 2000 guests
http://personalitycafe.com/member-polls/836386-announcement-perc-5k-community-event.html
http://personalitycafe.com/trends-forum/832954-perc-formal-main-social-ballroom.html
http://personalitycafe.com/enfj-forum-givers/825761-entp-enfj-cocktail-party-seduction-soiree.html

I have two "Stickied" threads with the first being _extra_ sticky.
http://personalitycafe.com/spam-world/678426-first-words-after-ejaculating-person-above-you.html
http://personalitycafe.com/entp-forum-visionaries/828625-entp-introduction-thread.html

From my guidance and search queries, 4 other type forums have created their own introduction thread, as well
http://personalitycafe.com/isfj-forum-nurturers/841025-isfj-introduction-thread.html
http://personalitycafe.com/esfj-forum-caregivers/830242-get-know-your-fellow-esfjs.html
http://personalitycafe.com/estp-forum-doers/830866-estp-introduction-thread.html
http://personalitycafe.com/enfp-forum-inspirers/830882-ze-enfp-intro-thread.html

I broach serious topics, periodically
http://personalitycafe.com/sex-rela...-perception-how-lgbt-community-can-learn.html
http://personalitycafe.com/myers-br...te-theory-doesnt-define-jungian-typology.html
http://personalitycafe.com/enneagra...ns-tritype-how-manifests-our-personality.html

I'm quite a catch, all of you come to my parties, and I once nominated myself for prom queen. Bid now, but know that I won't be sold to just anyone.


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## Kynx (Feb 6, 2012)

I'll bid 3 bags of sunflower seeds for @Drunk Parrot


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## steelnerve (May 1, 2016)

katemess said:


> Wot bout me.


You can be evaluated fairly by a macaw with extraordinary alcohol levels in the veins.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

steelnerve said:


> You can be evaluated fairly by a macaw with extraordinary alcohol levels in the veins.


Oh, she has been pre-screened and will be evaluated :wink:


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## steelnerve (May 1, 2016)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Oh, she has been pre-screened and will be evaluated :wink:


Quite a great choice, Sir. *Raises a glass of rum*


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## mhysa (Nov 27, 2014)

Drunk Parrot said:


> There's no research to back up that claim. Parrots actually type their best when they're drunk. Anyway, ready for me to auction you off?


sure, and now that i see that you are up for auction i will offer the copy of _jaws unleashed_ for the PS2 that i rented from blockbuster when i was a child and never returned, in exchange for a date with you, drunk parrot.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Neverontime said:


> I'll bid 3 bags of sunflower seeds for @Drunk Parrot





mhysa said:


> sure, and now that i see that you are up for auction i will offer the copy of _jaws unleashed_ for the PS2 that i rented from blockbuster when i was a child and never returned, in exchange for a date with you, drunk parrot.



Two offers, so far. Not sure which is a better deal...


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## Kynx (Feb 6, 2012)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Two offers, so far. Not sure which is a better deal...


I'll throw in a bacon sandwich


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Neverontime said:


> I'll throw in a bacon sandwich


 @mhysa can you raise a BLT to beat that offer?


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## mhysa (Nov 27, 2014)

Drunk Parrot said:


> @mhysa can you raise a BLT to beat that offer?


i can raise a barbecue sandwich, we don't eat that BLT shit here in the south.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

mhysa said:


> i can raise a barbecue sandwich, we don't eat that BLT shit here in the south.


Just saw your profile. Can you make it some Dreamland BBQ, or maybe Full Moon?

@Neverontime can you top this?


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## Kynx (Feb 6, 2012)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Just saw your profile. Can you make it some Dreamland BBQ, or maybe Full Moon?
> 
> @Neverontime can you top this?


How about a full monty?
:tongue:


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Neverontime said:


> How about a full monty?
> :tongue:


Wow what a raise! You're offering to strip fully nude for me. :drooling:

@mhysa we're going to need a bigger boat, filled with BBQ, to beat that!


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## mhysa (Nov 27, 2014)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Just saw your profile. Can you make it some Dreamland BBQ, or maybe Full Moon?
> 
> @Neverontime can you top this?


i actually live about ten minutes away from dreamland bbq, so that's definitely do-able.


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## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

Drunk Parrot said:


> First up, we have @Veggie


I bid an overly aggressive visitors message.


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## dracula (Apr 5, 2015)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Fine, I'll put myself up...
> 
> And now, the marquee item is...Me, Drunk Parrot!


I bid 11€ because with 12€ I can go to the local zoo and see sober, much nicer parrots.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Sporadic Aura said:


> I bid an overly aggressive visitors message.


Alright I'll leave the bid open, for now, if others want to bid on @Veggie . Can you at least make it sexually aggressive. We'd want her to be uncomfortable, in order for this to work.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

dracula said:


> I bid 11€ because with 12€ I can go to the local zoo and see sober, much nicer parrots.


Get dafuq out of here. @Neverontime and @mhysa have much better bids than what you're offering!


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## Kynx (Feb 6, 2012)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Wow what a raise! You're offering to strip fully nude for me. :drooling:
> 
> @mhysa we're going to need a bigger boat, filled with BBQ, to beat that!


I actually meant one of these 









But sure, what the hell. It's for a good cause.


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## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Alright I'll leave the bid open, for now, if others want to bid on @Veggie . Can you at least make it sexually aggressive. We'd want her to be uncomfortable, in order for this to work.


Oh, I didn't make myself clear, the aggression in my visitors message was sexually aggressive.


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## dracula (Apr 5, 2015)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Get dafuq out of here. @Neverontime and @mhysa have much better bids than what you're offering!


I can see that you're drunk again.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Neverontime said:


> I actually meant one of these
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Make it both and you'll be in the lead

@dracula do you actually have a serious bid, this time?


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## dracula (Apr 5, 2015)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Make it both and you'll be in the lead
> 
> @dracula do you actually have a serious bid, this time?


Fine. I bid a signed copy of my Burn Book and an opened can of beer.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

dracula said:


> Fine. I bid a signed copy of my Burn Book and an opened can of beer.


Worthless


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## dracula (Apr 5, 2015)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Worthless


Playing hard to get? I bid my dad's Bentley and their six parrots.


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## katemess (Oct 21, 2015)

@Drunk Parrot You told me to bid on you, so I bid a mint that's been in the bottom of my handbag for 3 months, and the hair from my hairbrush.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

katemess said:


> @Drunk Parrot You told me to bid on you, so I bid a mint that's been in the bottom of my handbag for 3 months, and the hair from my hairbrush.


Mmmmm, sorry. Neverontime and Mhysa still have much better bids. The hair on the hairbrush is a good starting point, but I'll need more.



dracula said:


> Playing hard to get? I bid my dad's Bentley and their six parrots.


Do I look like I want other parrots?


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## dracula (Apr 5, 2015)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Do I look like I want other parrots?


Well, you seemed like you needed a harem... They're very loud, too, so you'd probably get along.


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## katemess (Oct 21, 2015)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Mmmmm, sorry. Neverontime and Mhysa still have much better bids. The hair on the hairbrush is a good starting point, but I'll need more.


I'm out.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

katemess said:


> I'm out.


Good


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## Kynx (Feb 6, 2012)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Make it both and you'll be in the lead


Yay! I'm winning! 

:smilewoot:


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## angeleyes (Feb 20, 2013)




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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Neverontime said:


> Yay! I'm winning!
> 
> :smilewoot:


We'll keep the bidding open but it will be hard to top it. Payment is expected by June 1st, though.


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## Wolf (Mar 20, 2016)

Why are you pimping everyone out?


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

A Lone Wolf said:


> Why are you pimping everyone out?


Poor Wolfy-Wolf, are you lonely? Bid now and I'll find love for you :happy:


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## Wolf (Mar 20, 2016)

Being alone is probably better than being matchmade by a drunk bird...


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Beggars can't be choosers. I've worked real hard on my slut database to make sure no one has to be lonely forever.


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## Bunny (Jul 11, 2015)

Stripping nude solves most lonesome problems.:kitteh:


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## Wolf (Mar 20, 2016)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Beggars can't be choosers. I've worked real hard on my slut database to make sure no one has to be lonely forever.














Wytch said:


> Stripping nude solves most lonesome problems.:kitteh:


Oh, that easy?


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## Bunny (Jul 11, 2015)

A Lone Wolf said:


> Oh, that easy?


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

A Lone Wolf said:


> Oh, that easy?


Well start making bids.


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## Millie (Nov 22, 2014)

I bid 69 Ricky Martin CDs on whoever will enslave me first

Come on people, this should be easy. I'm so easy


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## Wolf (Mar 20, 2016)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Well start making bids.


Your "merchandise" doesn't really catch my eye sir. You claimed to have binders full of women.

I have to offer something _in addition_ to my *awesome* self? Who is this really for anyways? 

Something tells me the proceeds of this auction are just going towards your drunk fund...

Yeah, forget it.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

A Lone Wolf said:


> Your "merchandise" doesn't really catch my eye sir. You claimed to have binders full of women.
> 
> I have to offer something _in addition_ to my *awesome* self? Who is this really for anyways?
> 
> ...


I don't want peasants bidding on my binder-women, anyway. Don't let the metaphorical door I've created for this exchange hit you on the way out.

I'm glad to know you don't think the babes I've posted, already, are good enough for you.


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## StrikerEureka (Apr 4, 2016)

@Drunk Parrot

A fine auction you run sir. I applaud your ways. I'm donating a beer in your honor.


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## Wolf (Mar 20, 2016)

Drunk Parrot said:


> I don't want peasants bidding on my binder-women, anyway. Don't let the metaphorical door I've created for this exchange hit you on the way out.
> 
> I'm glad to know you don't think the babes I've posted, already, are good enough for you.


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## Bunny (Jul 11, 2015)

@A Lone Wolf


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

A Lone Wolf said:


>


Does "we" mean you & yourself? I've got 4 Japanese businessmen that have bid on @Wytch and all they want to do is to watch her deep throat sushi rolls.


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## StrikerEureka (Apr 4, 2016)

A Lone Wolf said:


>


You create your own heaven or hell. Are you sure that its high standards and not the chains you bind yourself to?


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## Bunny (Jul 11, 2015)

Drunk Parrot said:


> I've got 4 Japanese businessmen that have bid on @Wytch and all they want to do is to watch her deep throat sushi rolls.


Sweeeeet.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Wytch said:


> Sweeeeet.


Careful, though, the same four bid on @Veggie earlier and I'm having to pay for her therapy. I have to pay medical bills on the 5th guy, too, as she stabbed him.


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## StrikerEureka (Apr 4, 2016)

@Drunk Parrot

I'd like to bid on @Wytch.

I'm willing to offer two lottery scratch off tickets valued at 20 US Dollars, a paper clip, a gallon of any milk of your choice, and a clip-on mirror because I know birds like to look at themselves.


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## Bunny (Jul 11, 2015)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Careful, though, the same four bid on @Veggie earlier and I'm having to pay for her therapy. I have to pay medical bills on the 5th guy, too, as she stabbed him.


That sucks for you and Veggie =/ 
& I appreciate the warning but I think I can handle it.:kitteh:

It takes a lot to disturb me. 

Unless I accidentally start choking on a sushi roll and they'd rather watch that than to help me.
Hopefully, I'll be able to perform the Heimlich on myself.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

StrikerEureka said:


> @Drunk Parrot
> 
> I'd like to bid on @Wytch.
> 
> I'm willing to offer two lottery scratch off tickets valued at 20 US Dollars, a paper clip, a gallon of any milk of your choice, and a clip-on mirror because I know birds like to look at themselves.


Sold!

@Wytch looks like you're going to have to be busy.


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## Bunny (Jul 11, 2015)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Sold!
> 
> @Wytch looks like you're going to have to be busy.


XD

It is all good, I like being busy.
I better go and get my leash and collar.


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## StrikerEureka (Apr 4, 2016)

Wytch said:


> XD
> 
> It is all good, I like being busy.
> I better go and get my leash and collar.


No need... I already brought yours.


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## Bunny (Jul 11, 2015)

StrikerEureka said:


> No need... I already brought yours.


I had a feeling you'd say something like that :tongue:.
All the better for me.


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## Wolf (Mar 20, 2016)

Wytch said:


> @A Lone Wolf


Pretty much.



Drunk Parrot said:


> Does "we" mean you & yourself?


Yeah.



StrikerEureka said:


> You create your own heaven or hell. Are you sure that its high standards and not the chains you bind yourself to?


Good question. Both.


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## StrikerEureka (Apr 4, 2016)

Wytch said:


> I had a feeling you'd say something like that :tongue:.
> All the better for me.


I see you've assumed the position. 

You're going to need this too.


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

Wytch said:


> That sucks for you and Veggie =/


Thanks  @Drunk Parrot manned up though when I got confused and tried to microwave his little sister's rabbit on Christmas Eve. "I volunteer as conservator" and stuff.

And now he's trying to get me laid. Giving tree :blushed:


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## Bunny (Jul 11, 2015)

StrikerEureka said:


> I see you've assumed the position.
> 
> You're going to need this too.


I know my place :wink: but I sure hope you've brought more toys in your bag than just that.




Veggie said:


> Thanks  @Drunk Parrot manned up though when I got confused and tried to microwave his little sister's rabbit on Christmas Eve. "I volunteer as conservator" and stuff.
> 
> And now he's trying to get me laid. Giving tree :blushed:


Aw, that DP is such a kind soul.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

opcorn:


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## StrikerEureka (Apr 4, 2016)

Wytch said:


> I know my place :wink: but I sure hope you've brought more toys in your bag than just that.
> 
> Aw, that DP is such a kind soul.


Don't worry, I'm not done dressing you..


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## Bunny (Jul 11, 2015)

StrikerEureka said:


> Don't worry, I'm not done dressing you..


It's a start, I do hate not being able to say anything :sad:
I'm a verbal girl.









But... since I am gagged. I do hope you can restrain me well enough.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Wytch said:


> It's a start, I do hate not being able to say anything :sad:
> I'm a verbal girl.
> 
> 
> ...


Seriously, verbal foreplay is one of the hottest things to do. Why the fuck is he gagging you, and missing out on your filthy mouth. What an amateur

@Veggie always glad to take on a charity case, even older washed up INFJ women. :happy:


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## StrikerEureka (Apr 4, 2016)

Wytch said:


> It's a start, I do hate not being able to say anything :sad:
> I'm a verbal girl.
> 
> 
> ...


A verbal girl you say? If you are good then we explore removing it...

You'll be restrained alright, don't want you going anywhere anytime soon. :happy:










Next up spankings...


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## Bunny (Jul 11, 2015)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Seriously, verbal foreplay is one of the hottest things to do. Why the fuck is he gagging you, and missing out on your filthy mouth. What an amateur


Right? I agree and I'm quite loud too when it comes to the moaning and whining.
If I am allowed to, I always seem to get more excited when I can make noise.

I would want him talk to me a lot too. With direction and to tell me just how much of a whore I really am :tongue:.






StrikerEureka said:


> A verbal girl you say? If you are good then we explore removing it...
> 
> You'll be restrained alright, don't want you going anywhere anytime soon. :happy:
> 
> ...


Oh, I'll be good.

I like that :kitteh: it's more fun sometimes when I'm helpless and at your mercy.









I love spankings, want me to dress-up for it?


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## StrikerEureka (Apr 4, 2016)

@Wytch

We've derailed the auction. Clearly this must be taken somewhere private. :tongue:


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

StrikerEureka said:


> @Wytch
> 
> We've derailed the auction. Clearly this must be taken somewhere private. :tongue:


I can create an official smash room thread if you and @Wytch want to be the opening act?


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## Bunny (Jul 11, 2015)

StrikerEureka said:


> @Wytch
> 
> We've derailed the auction. Clearly this must be taken somewhere private. :tongue:


Haha, derailing is just one of my many gifts.:kitteh:
Although I do (sometimes) prefer an audience.












Drunk Parrot said:


> I can create an official smash room thread if you and @Wytch want to be the opening act?


Sure, I do like the attention :tongue:


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

Drunk Parrot said:


> @Veggie always glad to take on a charity case, even older washed up INdFJ women. :happy:


Appreciated  

Spent the night getting high with my favorite mommy. Feeling OK.

Edit - actually. I'ma leave it at that. Because nothing else made any sense.


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## CTRLvector (Jan 28, 2016)

Haha great thread.. going to read every page...



Ok I want to bid on someone, who do we have up right now? I got distracted with the BDSM incident there.


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## Millie (Nov 22, 2014)

Whoa shit haha. Three pages later and suddenly, This Thread _Delivers_™


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## AddictiveMuse (Nov 14, 2013)

Ahem why wasn't I aware of this?! :shocked:


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## Bunny (Jul 11, 2015)




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## Eram Sum Ero (Apr 19, 2016)

AddictiveMuse said:


> Ahem why wasn't I aware of this?! :shocked:


I bid $14


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## broken_line (Apr 23, 2016)

I'd go up to $250 for Veggie.


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## thissiteisterrible (Sep 25, 2015)

Florahyalina said:


> I bid $14


big spender over here


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## Eram Sum Ero (Apr 19, 2016)

thissiteisterrible said:


> big spender over here


I shouldn't have to pay for her in the first place tbh


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## thissiteisterrible (Sep 25, 2015)

Florahyalina said:


> I shouldn't have to pay for her in the first place tbh


gotta pay the bills somehow


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## Eram Sum Ero (Apr 19, 2016)

thissiteisterrible said:


> gotta pay the bills somehow


We could just have a shared economy.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

broken_line said:


> I'd go up to $250 for Veggie.


Throw in a pack of chapstick & some Cheez-its and it's a deal.
@Veggie this is a good bid. Proud of you.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

AddictiveMuse said:


> Ahem why wasn't I aware of this?! :shocked:





Florahyalina said:


> I bid $14


She is worth way more than that. $189 starting bid or GTFO


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## MisterPerfect (Nov 20, 2015)

Can I volunteer to be auctioned Mister Parrot?


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

And now... @MisterPerfect










You know who he is. He's the one that started that thread, as well as, every thread ever.

He's even been banned before so you know he's a bad boy.


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Euros, Dollars, Yen, Pesos, livestock, small pebbles, and your daughter's dowry.


you forgot to mention soiled women's panty's:shocked:


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## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Throw in a pack of chapstick & some Cheez-its and it's a deal.
> 
> @Veggie this is a good bid. Proud of you.


But @broken_line's intentions could be impure. You haven't even asked 

Fired as conservator.


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## Asity (May 12, 2014)

WamphyriThrall said:


> Ready! @petals of stone


Go away, bruh :exterminate:


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## Doktorin Zylinder (May 10, 2015)

Now, didn't I stumble upon something novel.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Doktorin Zylinder said:


> Now, didn't I stumble upon something novel.


And now for a rare prize, Dr Z!










She's a giant weirdo. Literally a giant as she's like 6'7''. That is why she is the Amazon Queen. Literally a weirdo too. Just follow her around and you'll see the weird stuff she says. She also likes top hats, for some reason.

Super into BDSM, but like, won't ever touch you. Hope you're into humiliation because she's always in control.

She's also an aspie mechanical engineer: http://personalitycafe.com/intro/544946-good-evening.html

Bid now, just know if you win, she won't go out with you, anyway.


----------



## Doktorin Zylinder (May 10, 2015)

Drunk Parrot said:


> And now for a rare prize, Dr Z!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I see you're a practitioner of necromancy.

Either that or a necrophiliac.


----------



## Stelmaria (Sep 30, 2011)

Any Snow Leopards here?


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Doktorin Zylinder said:


> I see you're a practitioner of necromancy.
> 
> Either that or a necrophiliac.


1. Go to profile

2. Search latest started threads

3. Copy & Paste URL

I didn't necro anything, silly Dr



Snowy Leopard said:


> Any Snow Leopards here?


No...


----------



## MonieJ (Nov 22, 2010)

I may bid on someone but no one has captured my interest just yet * Stares longingly and sighs*


----------



## Stelmaria (Sep 30, 2011)

Drunk Parrot said:


> No...


Boo!


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Snowy Leopard said:


> Boo!


Not my fault you guys are endangered. Just accept being forever alone.


----------



## Stelmaria (Sep 30, 2011)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Not my fault you guys are endangered. Just accept being forever alone.


:sad:


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Now that ѕησωум¢ѕησωƒα¢є is thoroughly depressed, who should we bid on, next? :happy:


----------



## Millie (Nov 22, 2014)

I bid 100 Ricky Martins on the miserable fluffy snow pussy

:hugs: @Snowy Leopard


----------



## CTRLvector (Jan 28, 2016)

I just found out that @Veggie looks amazing. Strange items are no object now, I have considerable resources.


----------



## Kynx (Feb 6, 2012)

Drunk Parrot said:


> The bid for @Veggie is re-opened, with you taking the lead. Also a good business has _renewable_ products and a good salesman can sales a chicken it's own eggs.
> 
> @Neverontime ok, you won the bid for me, with the double full monty. Have your way with me.
> 
> ...














* *




Just relax.....







That's a good boy....




* *















* *















* *











:kitteh:


----------



## Bunny (Jul 11, 2015)

Dr. Z is also an excellent cook & baker :kitteh: for those of you out there considering her.


----------



## Strayfire (Jun 26, 2010)

MonieJ said:


> I may bid on someone but no one has *been* captured my interest just yet * Stares longingly and sighs*


Fixed it for you Monie :3


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

@Neverontime I don't get it. Did you inject me with anesthesia 6 hours ago before shoving things up my ass?

You most certainly shoved something up my ass as I just sat down on the toilet and a kidney fell out.


----------



## Bunny (Jul 11, 2015)

XD

DP is going to need adult diapers now.


----------



## mangodelic psycho (Jan 12, 2015)

10 chickens and a kidney for @johnnyyukon 









@Wytch


----------



## Kynx (Feb 6, 2012)

Drunk Parrot said:


> @Neverontime I don't get it. Did you inject me with anesthesia 6 hours ago before shoving things up my ass?
> 
> You most certainly shoved something up my ass as I just sat down on the toilet and a kidney fell out.


Just a kidney?

:laughing:

Bend over. I'd better retrieve some stuff.


----------



## MonieJ (Nov 22, 2010)

Strayfire said:


> Fixed it for you Monie :3


So I have to capture someone eh? * Thinks about the possibility*


----------



## steelnerve (May 1, 2016)

I think someone should set up a shop for lube and other stuff here. You know, better safe than sorry.


----------



## He's a Superhero! (May 1, 2013)

Oh my...This thread!



MBTI said:


> So Mexicans are doomed to die cold and alone? [email protected]#$ this noise. I revoke my funding.


Wait...Mexicans are a currency?! :O

_(How much would three get me?)_ *((Jokes!))*


----------



## UraniaIsis (Nov 26, 2014)

For the shitz and chuckles...


----------



## mangodelic psycho (Jan 12, 2015)

johnnyyukon said:


> My PM inbox is open


Matches @Wytch 's legs, good >> 

:tongue:



Neverontime said:


> I bid some batteries, a frizbee a long dildo and a dead hamster on @*psychedelicmango*


*SOLD. *i always wanted a batttery operated dead hamster dildo :blushed:


----------



## Bunny (Jul 11, 2015)

CTRLvector said:


> Oh no I'm not mad at all, I just said goodbye, I expect nothing, why would I ? I'm not entitled to anything, least of all from people.
> 
> That's my philosophy, not being a dick here either, just trying clear the air


It's really okay :tongue: as for the nudes, why would I be offended? ESTPs are known for loving to be naked :kitteh: XD



@psychedelicmango is thinking about my legs, hawt.


----------



## Kynx (Feb 6, 2012)

psychedelicmango said:


> Matches @Wytch 's legs, good >>
> 
> :tongue:
> 
> ...


Yay! I won again. You don't get to keep the hamster dildo though, it's for charity. Besides the hamster's soiled with @Drunk Parrot 's dead babies. He ruined it.


----------



## HermioneG (Jul 1, 2015)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Time for some hot INTJ auctions. We have @HermioneG
> 
> Hello Hermie, who is it you're looking for?
> 
> And some things make her sick, but she is quite generous












Nobody loves me. Everybody hates me. I guess I'll go eat worms.


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

UraniaIsis said:


> For the shitz and chuckles...
> 
> View attachment 526226


Continuing the fun, we have a lovely INFJ damsel with UraniaIsis.










Based on her name, we can tell she supports supplying Uranium to ISIS; so she's pro-terrorism.

Like myself, she's a big fan of a strong Subject title that states her thesis: http://personalitycafe.com/current-...ity-resilience-against-violent-extremism.html

She's a weird dancer


UraniaIsis said:


>


And she willingly describes her panties


UraniaIsis said:


> Non-existent option: Other
> 
> What are these 'panties' you speak of? I kid, I go commando 24/7. Ok, I'm not THAT brave. All my underoos are multicolored, patterned and granny cut...and a humorous 'ew' to the cop-a-turd.
> :laughing:


Place your bids now for this minx. Also, @HermioneG is depressed because no one wants to bid on her.


----------



## 7rr7s (Jun 6, 2011)

Is bitcoin accepted currency in these parts?


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

BlueChristmas06 said:


> Is bitcoin accepted currency in these parts?


We prefer pieces of strings, baked beans, and Ricky Martin CDs


----------



## 7rr7s (Jun 6, 2011)

Drunk Parrot said:


> We prefer pieces of strings, baked beans, and Ricky Martin CDs


How about single serving bottles of Captain Morgan, pizza, and a Lou Bega CD?


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

BlueChristmas06 said:


> How about single serving bottles of Captain Morgan, pizza, and a Lou Bega CD?


On whom would you like to bid


----------



## 7rr7s (Jun 6, 2011)

Drunk Parrot said:


> On whom would you like to bid


I only saw Veggie and Myles. Who else is up for bid?


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

BlueChristmas06 said:


> I only saw Veggie and Myles. Who else is up for bid?


Why don't you go through the thread and look. There's about 20-25 I believe.


----------



## UraniaIsis (Nov 26, 2014)

* *






Drunk Parrot said:


> Continuing the fun, we have a lovely INFJ damsel with UraniaIsis.
> 
> 
> 
> ...





Dammit, made me laugh so hard I think I owe you some booze and flash of boobs. :laughing:

Let's see...
_



_
* *













Screw that...
* *















In all my California pantied glory!


----------



## 7rr7s (Jun 6, 2011)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Why don't you go through the thread and look. There's about 20-25 I believe.


Ehhhh, a list would be easier. Aright only a third of the way in, hopefully one of these is the highest bid. 

My bid for @Veggie: Fifth of Maker's Mark, Carl Jung's Man And His Symbols in hardcover, Entire Lost Box Set, 90s Dance music mix tape, and a new juicer. 

My bid for @Myles ): Miles Davis Kind Of Blue 50th Anniversary edition, The Walking Dead Compendium, Senor Frog Spring Break 2006 T Shirt, Complete Keeping Up With The Kardashians season. 

My bid for @katemess: Squeegee for the cat hair on the couch, Bucket of Bleach, KeyBoard Cat Play Em Off T shirt, Cattitude Hat, A daily cat gif for 6 months. 

My bid for @The Four Toed Creed: Weight bench, 6 months supply of muscle milk, sparring gloves, kayak, signed poster of Arnold Schwarzenegger. 

My bid for @xrx: Complete Meera discography, Cutco Ultimate Set, $300 giftcard to Blic Art Materials, Signed Copy of The Artist's Way, private concert with Beach House. 

My bid for @MBTI: Collection of the greatest love letters ever written, Titanic, A Walk To Remember, Dear John, and Atonement Blu Rays, Bulk supply of Kleenex, Frank Sinatra's In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning, Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar rare first edition. 

My bid for @Wytch: Ball gag, Cat-o-nine tails, handcuffs, KY, remote control egg, blindfolds, collar, set of butt plugs, The Story Of O first edition. 

My bid for @mhysa: Ships to sail to Westeros, an army of Unsullied, Wildfire, cure for grey scale, Iron Throne.


----------



## HermioneG (Jul 1, 2015)

BlueChristmas06 said:


> I only saw Veggie and Myles. Who else is up for bid?


----------



## Gossip Goat (Nov 19, 2013)

HermioneG said:


>


Omg I found this so cute.

I bid 400 Ricky Martins for HermoineG


----------



## 7rr7s (Jun 6, 2011)

My bid for @HermioneG: New camera, Signed complete Harry Potter first editions of every book, Muggle Juice, mystery box filled with thrift store treasures. 

My bid for @*Snowy Leopard*: drum and bass mix tape, peaches and nectarines, cruise to The Galapagos Islands. 

My bid for @*CTRLvector*: Signed copy of The Art Of The Deal, 50 Trump Steaks, 60 gallons of Trump Water, Make America Great Again hat, and The Apprentice Season 1 Blu Ray.


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

L'Enfant Terrible said:


> Part of the proceeds will go into buying drunk parrot a cage.
> 
> So if you don't like him, bid away.


You do not decide where the proceeds go. Papa Parrot is the one. Know your role



Veggie said:


>


Btw, sorry Veggie-poo, but that gif is a little underwhelming. Just don't care much for Tina Fey; you can do better


----------



## Veggie (May 22, 2011)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Btw, sorry Veggie-poo, but that gif is a little underwhelming. Just don't care much for Tina Fey; you can do better


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Veggie said:


>












*pimp slap drive by


----------



## 7rr7s (Jun 6, 2011)

@Veggie, Miles O, and everyone else I bid on, we will have great times!!! 

http://personalitycafe.com/infp-forum-idealists/266554-blues-virtual-night-town-thread.html

http://personalitycafe.com/infp-forum-idealists/134861-thread-romantic-things.html

http://personalitycafe.com/spam-world/663426-90s-dance-music-thread.html


----------



## UraniaIsis (Nov 26, 2014)

I've been improving on my dance moves...think of all its uses folks. _*wink*_ 


* *















Sent from my LGL15G using Tapatalk


----------



## 7rr7s (Jun 6, 2011)

Veggie said:


> I think @*BlueChristmas06* won
> 
> 
> 
> He pretty much nailed all of my favorite things.


Champions find a way. .


----------



## 7rr7s (Jun 6, 2011)

Also, @Drunk Parrot, I think this thread could use some booze. And ass. Because that's a winning combination and this thread is full of winners.


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

BlueChristmas06 said:


> Also, @Drunk Parrot, I think this thread could use some booze. And ass. Because that's a winning combination and this thread is full of winners.


I agree. Needs some teasing, too


----------



## L'Enfant Terrible (Jun 8, 2014)

Drunk Parrot said:


> You do not decide where the proceeds go. Papa Parrot is the one. Know your role
> 
> 
> 
> Btw, sorry Veggie-poo, but that gif is a little underwhelming. Just don't care much for Tina Fey; you can do better


Pff... ENTP, stick to what you know : how to dance funny and make us laugh. 

Leave business to the big boys and girls.


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

L'Enfant Terrible said:


> Pff... ENTP, stick to what you know : how to dance funny and make us laugh.
> 
> Leave business to the big boys and girls.


Well ok, but it's only because of those lips.


----------



## L'Enfant Terrible (Jun 8, 2014)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Well ok, but it's only because of those lips.


Smart decision.


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

L'Enfant Terrible said:


> Smart decision.


Ok, so I bid $75 for you, a pair of REO Speedwagon tickets, a black jacket I stole from a hooker, 3 Ricky Martin CDs, and a chest full of beanie babies.


----------



## L'Enfant Terrible (Jun 8, 2014)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Ok, so I bid $75 for you, a pair of REO Speedwagon tickets, a black jacket I stole from a hooker, 3 Ricky Martin CDs, and a chest full of beanie babies.


My lipstick alone costs more than that.


----------



## daleks_exterminate (Jul 22, 2013)

This thread is glorious. 

I want to see drunk parrots auction. Someone sell him, please. And a muzzle/gag. Whoever bids on that will need one by the end of the night.


----------



## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

Can I be bid on?


----------



## Mange (Jan 9, 2011)

daleks_exterminate said:


> This thread is glorious.
> 
> I want to see drunk parrots auction. Someone sell him, please. And a muzzle/gag. Whoever bids on that will need one by the end of the night.


He already sold himself did he not? I think someone bid a burrito and three slices of cheese or something idk.

Edit: sorry, it was a giant dildo and a bag of seeds.


----------



## Strayfire (Jun 26, 2010)

L'Enfant Terrible said:


> My lipstick alone costs more than that.


I heard it's made from the tears of INFPs.


----------



## L'Enfant Terrible (Jun 8, 2014)

Strayfire said:


> I heard it's made from the tears of INFPs.


Not INFPs, ESFJs. INFPs are too cute and cuddly. ESFJs are my definition of the antichrist. Their tears make good eye creams as well.

As for lipstick, this shade is a favorite.


----------



## Sygma (Dec 19, 2014)

Wytch said:


> It's really okay :tongue: as for the nudes, why would I be offended? ESTPs are known for loving to be naked :kitteh: XD


Bring it.


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

daleks_exterminate said:


> This thread is glorious.
> 
> I want to see drunk parrots auction. Someone sell him, please. And a muzzle/gag. Whoever bids on that will need one by the end of the night.


The thread is glorious, and clearly you didn't read all of it, because I was put up a dozen pages back and @Neverontime won me.



L'Enfant Terrible said:


> My lipstick alone costs more than that.


And I'm sure your car does too. Just because your lip stick costs that much doesn't mean you do. If I put that lipstick on a pig, after all, it'd still just be a pig.

*Had to take that kidney shot haha*


----------



## 7rr7s (Jun 6, 2011)

Florahyalina said:


> Ok, she says you're actually pretty tough for an INFP... And I'm writing it cause she totally got banned again lol


I think you mean exterminated. (temporarily thankfully.)


----------



## Eram Sum Ero (Apr 19, 2016)

BlueChristmas06 said:


> Loll if the guy with the cat avatar, the once and future feline guy could handle her, I'd have no problem. I'll throw an extra Tom Waits album and box of cigars on the bid just to sweeten the deal.


Her response was "LOL" and "He keeps saying things I love. -_-" so I guess you can have her. 

SOLD


----------



## ProperNoun (Apr 22, 2016)

=o
Known unknown or unknown unknown?


----------



## 7rr7s (Jun 6, 2011)

Florahyalina said:


> Her response was "LOL" and "He keeps saying things I love. -_-" so I guess you can have her.
> 
> SOLD


For an extra Battlestar Glactica box set, a fifth of Fireball, and a signed copy of Hemingway's _The Sun Also Rises_, I'll take Pif too. I'll ship everything including myself in an extra large box so we can all be cool kids and party in it. Deal, yes or yes?


----------



## Pifanjr (Aug 19, 2014)

BlueChristmas06 said:


> I've got a hat full of rain, a game of Risk, and some Kansas City BBQ on Daleks Exterminate.





BlueChristmas06 said:


> Loll if the guy with the cat avatar, the once and future feline guy could handle her, I'd have no problem. I'll throw an extra Tom Waits album and box of cigars on the bid just to sweeten the deal.


All of that just for a date is a pretty sweet deal.


----------



## Pifanjr (Aug 19, 2014)

BlueChristmas06 said:


> For an extra Battlestar Glactica box set, a fifth of Fireball, and a signed copy of Hemingway's _The Sun Also Rises_, I'll take Pif too. I'll ship everything including myself in an extra large box so we can all be cool kids and party in it. Deal, yes or yes?


Daleks will absolutely sell me with her for that.


----------



## Eram Sum Ero (Apr 19, 2016)

BlueChristmas06 said:


> For an extra Battlestar Glactica box set, a fifth of Fireball, and a signed copy of Hemingway's _The Sun Also Rises_, I'll take Pif too. I'll ship everything including myself in an extra large box so we can all be cool kids and party in it. Deal, yes or yes?


"Holy shit yes"

We need Kayley or Pif shipped too, since they don't live together at the moment.


----------



## 7rr7s (Jun 6, 2011)

Florahyalina said:


> "Holy shit yes"
> 
> We need Kayley or Pif shipped too, since they don't live together at the moment.


Loll, should make for an interesting date. ;D.


----------



## Eram Sum Ero (Apr 19, 2016)

BlueChristmas06 said:


> Loll, should make for an interesting date. ;D.


So eh, message from Kayley..

"pay"


----------



## 7rr7s (Jun 6, 2011)

Florahyalina said:


> So eh, message from Kayley..
> 
> "pay"


The auction was for charity. Also, sidenote, pretty sure you could get her in trouble if this continues as she's not supposed to have any contact with the forum. I've seen it happen before, just saying. Tell her I said whatup though. Ohhh and her horroscope for today is : 

If you take your time with your money issues right now, you will be able to stop yourself from spending too much too quickly. When you're face to face with a goodie you've been wanting, count to ten before you grab it and head for the cashier. It might feel like you are fighting the entire gravitational pull of the earth, but the longer you wait the less you're going to want to waste your money on something you don't really need. Time gives you perspective.


----------



## Eram Sum Ero (Apr 19, 2016)

BlueChristmas06 said:


> The auction was for charity. Also, sidenote, pretty sure you could get her in trouble if this continues as she's not supposed to have any contact with the forum. I've seen it happen before, just saying. Tell her I said whatup though. Ohhh and her horroscope for today is :
> 
> If you take your time with your money issues right now, you will be able to stop yourself from spending too much too quickly. When you're face to face with a goodie you've been wanting, count to ten before you grab it and head for the cashier. It might feel like you are fighting the entire gravitational pull of the earth, but the longer you wait the less you're going to want to waste your money on something you don't really need. Time gives you perspective.


Ok, will stop, thanks.


----------



## L'Enfant Terrible (Jun 8, 2014)

psychedelicmango said:


> A bottle of my best whiskey, 3 bottles of red wine from our vineyard and my tom ford suglasses for @L'Enfant Terrible. I want angry ENT sex. :ninja:


I'm not really into women but after one bottle of whiskey and 3 bottles of wine I just might be.


----------



## spartan322 (May 20, 2016)

L'Enfant Terrible said:


> I'm not really into women but after one bottle of whiskey and 3 bottles of wine I just might be.


I will add some vanilla rum from St Barths to that whiskey and wine. 
All hail Queen Terrible!


----------



## Notus Asphodelus (Jan 20, 2015)

I'm here to watch..


----------



## SevSevens (Aug 5, 2015)

psychedelicmango said:


> Yo dawg! Missed ya. Sure. Let's make ENTJ pita!
> 
> With extra garlic so she'll get cross


Nice. I'm going to give you a few babies.


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Next up, Parrot Enterprises presents @Gossip Goat . Her sex appeal is just as high as her strange neurotic obsessions. She's a regular in spam, mafia, and useless information. Also, not only does she gossip, but she's a goat. And goats will eat anything...ANYTHING.










She started one of the most informative threads: http://personalitycafe.com/venting/787378-history-kitchen-spaula.html
Her face says she's a bitch: http://personalitycafe.com/gossip/696666-bitchy-resting-face.html
She knows what she wants in life: http://personalitycafe.com/educatio...nt-regarding-your-academic-career-choice.html
And she's addicted to crack! http://personalitycafe.com/spam-world/658778-im-addicted-trivia-crack.html

She's a keeper. Best yet, you could make her dinner and she'd always clean up and make sure the kitchen is spotless.


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

For the horny ladies out there, I present SevSevens . He's a backwoods bad boy from Tennessee. A true INTJ cocksman that'll make 64% of women wet in their panties.










He is a poet


SevSevens said:


> Giving her all my Pumps
> Pump by pump
> Yeah girl
> You did good
> ...


Pikaow, meow, wow, indeed big boi

Girls fall for him by the millions: http://personalitycafe.com/sex-relationships/853762-how-am-i-attracting-girls-just-luck.html
And isn't afraid to splooge while wearing pants http://personalitycafe.com/sex-rela...s-do-you-like-said-you-while-dry-humping.html

Bid now, if you want some hot hot action


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Ending tonight's offerings, we have one of the biggest prizes around. The illustrious and sensual @TreeBob !!! He has been highly requested on this thread and scores of women, some men, and the occasional banned want to get ahold of the sweet rough bark. Whenever he walks in the room, people notice that hard trunk, that firm stump, and the ease with which he sways his branches.










He knows how to hit a home run with a swift banning: 


> This is your second infraction for this and on top of this you also threw some insults. Because all of these infractions happened within a month, you will be banned form the forum for 1 month.


He's got an artistic side with chic fashion tips: http://personalitycafe.com/estp-forum-doers/13453-estp-fashion.html
Say my name, say my name: http://personalitycafe.com/support-suggestions/70904-name-changes-please-read-first-post.html

Bonus! Whoever wins TreeBob gets one free insult to direct to any member of their choosing.*

*Parrot Enterprises is not liable for any damages caused by this promotion.


----------



## Gossip Goat (Nov 19, 2013)

but i'M MARRIED!!!!


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Gossip Goat said:


> but i'M MARRIED!!!!


Don't worry Goatie, all consummation is purely cyber related. Besides, after that last mafia game, you're now my favorite user to stalk in fascination of the things you say. That way, I can live vicariously through things I wouldn't otherwise find important. I'd bid on you, but I can do those other things for free.

Can I get a good opening bid for GG? Perhaps a 24 pack of water bottles and 4 Ricky Martin CDs?


----------



## UraniaIsis (Nov 26, 2014)

- A purple people eater

- A large crate of Malibu Rum raspberry jello shots

- Another large crate of traditional scottish butter cookies, courtesy of a better homes recipe.

- A no-strings attached lap dance with bun smacks included for New Years 2017

All for a piece of UraniaIsis' bomb ass...yes, I'm trying to buy a piece of my own asinus out of here.

Sent from my LGL15G using Tapatalk


----------



## Prada (Sep 10, 2015)

Strayfire said:


> But the puppy loves you!
> 
> Would you seriously betray it's trust like that?


I never said it was mine. :tongue:


----------



## Strayfire (Jun 26, 2010)

Prada said:


> I never said it was mine. :tongue:




You're giving away *my* puppy?

That's just low!


----------



## Prada (Sep 10, 2015)

Strayfire said:


> You're giving away *my* puppy?
> 
> That's just low!


If it wins me the auction... :tongue: Ends justify the means.


----------



## daleks_exterminate (Jul 22, 2013)

I'd like to get a date with @Pifanjr please. 

Ill bring puzzles, video games, weed and Italian food.


----------



## Eram Sum Ero (Apr 19, 2016)

daleks_exterminate said:


> I'd like to get a date with @Pifanjr please.
> 
> Ill bring puzzles, video games, weed and Italian food.


You've already been bought


----------



## daleks_exterminate (Jul 22, 2013)

Florahyalina said:


> You've already been bought



Dont tell me what to do. 
Youre not my real mom
i do what I want


----------



## Eram Sum Ero (Apr 19, 2016)

daleks_exterminate said:


> Dont tell me what to do.
> Youre not my real mom
> i do what I want


Oh okay, as long as you don't dye your hair blue...


----------



## daleks_exterminate (Jul 22, 2013)

Florahyalina said:


> Oh okay, as long as you don't dye your hair blue...


its a green ombré. Daddy. :blushed::tongue:


----------



## Eram Sum Ero (Apr 19, 2016)

daleks_exterminate said:


> its a green ombré. Daddy. :blushed::tongue:


Damn, you can't just say ombré with an accent and call me daddy in one sentence, you tease


----------



## daleks_exterminate (Jul 22, 2013)

Florahyalina said:


> Damn, you can't just say ombré with an accent and call me daddy in one sentence, you tease



I do do what I want. What you going to do about it? :kitteh:


----------



## Eram Sum Ero (Apr 19, 2016)

daleks_exterminate said:


> I do do what I want. What you going to do about it? :kitteh:


I don't know, what do you think? _smoothly removes belt_ (my pants are well tailored, so I only wear a belt for aesthetic).



:kappa:


----------



## Pifanjr (Aug 19, 2014)

daleks_exterminate said:


> I'd like to get a date with @Pifanjr please.
> 
> Ill bring puzzles, video games, weed and Italian food.


I'll bring sushi, sex toys, beer and funny videos.


----------



## daleks_exterminate (Jul 22, 2013)

Florahyalina said:


> I don't know, what do you think? _smoothly removes belt_ (my pants are well tailored, so I only wear a belt for aesthetic).
> 
> 
> 
> :kappa:


what are you going to bend me over your knee first? I'm sooooo scared.  :tongue:


----------



## daleks_exterminate (Jul 22, 2013)

Pifanjr said:


> I'll bring sushi, sex toys, beer and funny videos.



That sounds likes good time.


----------



## Eram Sum Ero (Apr 19, 2016)

daleks_exterminate said:


> what are you going to bend me over your knee first? I'm sooooo scared.  :tongue:


Actually I'm going to double suplex you.... Because it turns out... That this entire time... I was... :JOHNCENA:

&#55356;&#57274;&#55356;&#57271;&#55356;&#57271;&#55356;&#57274;&#55356;&#57274;&#55356;&#57271;&#55357;&#56559;&#55357;&#56559;&#55356;&#57271;&#55356;&#57274;&#55357;&#56559;&#55356;&#57274;&#55356;&#57274;


----------



## daleks_exterminate (Jul 22, 2013)

Florahyalina said:


> Actually I'm going to double suplex you.... Because it turns out... That this entire time... I was... :JOHNCENA:
> 
> &#55356;&#57274;&#55356;&#57271;&#55356;&#57271;&#55356;&#57274;&#55356;&#57274;&#55356;&#57271;&#55357;&#56559;&#55357;&#56559;&#55356;&#57271;&#55356;&#57274;&#55357;&#56559;&#55356;&#57274;&#55356;&#57274;


:crying: not again


----------



## Pifanjr (Aug 19, 2014)

daleks_exterminate said:


> :crying: not again


Just gravity punch him.


----------



## Eram Sum Ero (Apr 19, 2016)

Pifanjr said:


> Just gravity punch him.


But she can't see me


----------



## broken_line (Apr 23, 2016)

Gossip Goat said:


> but i'M MARRIED!!!!


Abandon Ship.


----------



## Eren Jaegerbomb (Nov 13, 2015)

Was curious about this thread.
Why the fuck are we auctioning people!?


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Ken Ichijouji said:


> Was curious about this thread.
> Why the fuck are we auctioning people!?


Are you jealous?


----------



## Eren Jaegerbomb (Nov 13, 2015)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Are you jealous?


No, just wondering why people would pay.


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Ken Ichijouji said:


> No, just wondering why people would pay.


Because they're lonely. Sounds like you'd make a terrible prostitute.


----------



## Eren Jaegerbomb (Nov 13, 2015)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Because they're lonely. Sounds like you'd make a terrible prostitute.


OH so it IS a prostitution thread... Right..


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Ken Ichijouji said:


> OH so it IS a prostitution thread... Right..


Of course. Would you like me to auction you off? roud:


----------



## Eren Jaegerbomb (Nov 13, 2015)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Of course. Would you like me to auction you off? roud:


No thanks.


----------



## Desthro (Feb 18, 2016)

Ken Ichijouji said:


> Was curious about this thread.
> Why the fuck are we auctioning people!?


Why do you even care? It's a forum not a true-to-life flesh market.


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Ken Ichijouji said:


> No thanks.


Great, thanks for stopping by to chat with the adults. Somewhere else is a section for kids if you'd like to check that out.


----------



## mangodelic psycho (Jan 12, 2015)

Ken Ichijouji said:


> No, just wondering why people would pay.


Some people are into knife play you know.


----------



## Stockholmaren (May 25, 2016)

@Drunk Parrot 

I was just checking by to ask you if it is possible for you to start a bid on Catwalk?

Warm wishes
ReachForPeach


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

ReachForPeach said:


> @Drunk Parrot
> 
> I was just checking by to ask you if it is possible for you to start a bid on Catwalk?
> 
> ...


That is @Catwalk right?


----------



## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

> ReachForPeach said:
> 
> 
> > @Drunk Parrot
> ...


@*No*..


----------



## Stockholmaren (May 25, 2016)

Catwalk said:


> @*No*..


Dat mention doe


----------



## broken_line (Apr 23, 2016)

Catwalk said:


> @*No*..


Everyone has a price.


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

broken_line said:


> Everyone has a price.


Everyone does, and the next auction is extremely lucrative.

Presenting destroyer of hearts; @Catwalk










She has a thread devoted to her: http://personalitycafe.com/gossip/870978-my-catwalk-brings-all-bitches-yard.html#post28995378
Her reply:


Catwalk said:


> The only under garment(s) I aim to keep _moist / excited_ are your(s) _Addictive_™. :bwink:


^Apparently she trademarks her brand of addiction

Definitely knows how to create threads that create intrigue
http://personalitycafe.com/sex-rela...you-tolerate-woman-does-not-like-touched.html
http://personalitycafe.com/sex-relationships/861282-obsessive-stalker-stories.html
http://personalitycafe.com/sex-relationships/851778-any-dommes-dominants-here.html

And her views, according to her profile are quite unique.


* *





Some of my post(s) may be depicted sarcasm // satirical humor. That is for you to decide. Dislike my humor? - Hmm...


_______________________
___________________
____________
_______
____
__
_


((-RCOEI-)) // SX/SP.


The Cosmos probably diverted you here, welcome then.

I am an Eudaimonist sans teleogy (&) Libertarian (re: political demarchy / democracy + time-credit mutualism) -- ((Anterior posteriority)); my preference --> Agency based ethics (Non-deontic). (&) increasing + benefitting from it --> meta-cognition, contingency, & conflict (re: meta-ethics) :: proper usage of uncertainty to benefit agent(s) - an actualist and absurdist (sans / non-Nihilism).



Interest(s) revolve everywhere (1) - 100 subjects; give or take recurring boredom.



Moderately typology ignorant (&) disinterested in advanced + deep typology (&) // or static - non-dynamic or tenacious classification -- willing to discuss consciousness + certain behavioral economics + cognitive sciences - my influences: (vide: Daniel Dennett / Sean Bakker).


--> [Fuck] personalities // if you disagree, you're in too deep, darling. 


A strong atheist, freethinker, social-associate loner, open-minded dismissive (re: stupidity / maladaptivity / appeals to authority, ad verecundiam, roi fainéant nonsense - ). ''Experience talkers'' - false dichtomers - [scientia intuitiva] - or ''Higher'' ignorances that lead to idealist irrationalisms [vitalism / social darwinism / eugenics / objectivists [Rand], naturalistic fallacies, genetic fallacies).

I am free of religious affiliation (re: fact free practices - free of religious traditions (mythos) - improper usage of uncertainty. For: religion sans politics (&) politicos / secular co-existence.


**Aside from the following labels stated here / below, I do not affiliate nor identify with anything else. (including: Social / Activist movements or ANY communities utilizing these labels).

Law major : my aim is always goodness™ (i.e., reducing harm / suffering of every living / flourishing human agent). Reflecting on ways to reduce - and elevating flourishing / fairness / bliss. 

I do not take the traditional route [falsity] to achieve goodness, I notion that one must first address the bad before the good [thoughtfully // constructive criticism] - as this can ensure a proper problem solving and propose the best solutions. I think we must not sugarcoat; désolée, but address, as this leads to strength.

The don'ts -

♦ Seek answers to wrong questions - wasting time trying to fix un-fixable things.

♦ Commit to uncontrollable situations.

♦ Put 100% dependency into things destine to fail.

♦ Romanticize fears.

♦ Sacrifice personal well-being for others without any gain. 


I don't cater to selective hearing, [unsoliticed] critiques + unwelcomed mockery + unwillingness to compromise and/or learn and won't waste my time on it. I am willing to listen and hear out everyone and compromise; I expect the same amount of effort or I will move on. Indifference to correction, improvement is indifference to current status of situations to compromise.


> Nonsense transcends sense, bad comes before good, we are born illiterate and stupid, disorder comes before order, because of this we must aim to improve + increase maximum capacity for goodness (re: flourish) in agent(s); as all former increase local latter. <




Also, her thanks given to thanks received ratio is nearly 7:1, so she is pretty much unpleasable :kitteh:

Ladies and Cuckolds, once again, I introduce you Catwalk!


----------



## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

ReachForPeach said:


> Dat mention doe


What'er you going to bet .. (?) Peaches n' Cream .. (?) No issue(s) in this regard, however.


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Catwalk said:


> What'er you going to bet .. (?) Peaches n' Cream .. (?) No issue(s) in this regard, however.


Is your bid profile acceptable? :happy:


----------



## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Everyone does, and the next auction is extremely lucrative.
> 
> Presenting destroyer of hearts; @Catwalk
> 
> Ladies and Cuckolds, once again, I introduce you Catwalk!


 I need a_ replacement_ for my _deceased _husband; anyway(s).

Folk(s) can just slip some chocolate(s) in my PM (&) we'll call it a *marvelous* night.


----------



## broken_line (Apr 23, 2016)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Ladies and Cuckolds, once again, I introduce you Catwalk!


You're quite the pimp to be sure, but she's not really my time. Not the right color and species to be sure.


----------



## Stockholmaren (May 25, 2016)

@NewMango 

Bid on my beloved INTJ brother and I'll tell him I sold him to a stranger on the internet.

https://postimg.org/image/nv84h2gpz/


----------



## AddictiveMuse (Nov 14, 2013)

I bid $20 and a drink of his choice for the cute INTJ


----------



## MolaMola (Jul 28, 2012)

your intj brother certainly looks to be a handsome, jovial fellow! However for some reason I am really not into blonde or red haired men as a general rule. Not sure why!
Maybe it is because it would feel sort of incestuous, as my hair is blonde and my dad had red hair when he was younger


----------



## MolaMola (Jul 28, 2012)

My favorite men are the ones who look Eastern European, with dark hair and big dark expressive eyes. and sort of pallid skin *swoon*


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

NewMango said:


> your intj brother certainly looks to be a handsome, jovial fellow! However for some reason I am really not into blonde or red haired men as a general rule. Not sure why!
> Maybe it is because it would feel sort of incestuous, as my hair is blonde and my dad had red hair when he was younger


What a weird reason. 



> My favorite men are the ones who look Eastern European, with dark hair and big dark expressive eyes. and sort of pallid skin *swoon*


You're banned from bidding


----------



## MolaMola (Jul 28, 2012)

Drunk Parrot said:


> What are weird reason.
> 
> 
> 
> You're banned from bidding



Eeeh? Why am I banned? T_T

And gee SORRY I DON'T WANT MY FUTURE CHILDREN TO BE nearly ALBINO AND HAVE TO FEAR THE SUN/bathe in sunscreen ON A DAILY BASIS. like me *sobs* Their sire MUST have at least a bit more melanin!


----------



## Acrylic (Dec 14, 2015)

.


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

NewMango said:


> Eeeh? Why am I banned? T_T
> 
> And gee SORRY I DON'T WANT MY FUTURE CHILDREN TO BE nearly ALBINO AND HAVE TO FEAR THE SUN/bathe in sunscreen ON A DAILY BASIS. like me *sobs* Their sire MUST have at least a bit more melanin!


Ok, you're re-instated. But there's no crying in PerC Date Auction



Despotic Ocelot said:


> What have thee against members of thine own coven?


What a weird way to convey you're desperate and lonely


----------



## Stockholmaren (May 25, 2016)

Sold to @AddictiveMuse Congratulations! I will build a box and put him there, then send him to you. Please take good care of him!

@NewMango I respect your honest opinion. Maybe next time in life you pretend to play along the game.

@Drunk Parrot I'll send you 50% commission, sir.


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

ReachForPeach said:


> Sold to @AddictiveMuse Congratulations! I will build a box and put him there, then send him to you. Please take good care of him!
> 
> @NewMango I respect your honest opinion. Maybe next time in life you pretend to play along the game.
> 
> @Drunk Parrot I'll send you 50% commission, sir.


t first I was lik e"50%? GTFO!" But since it is your brother I'll allow it.


----------



## Lone Adventurer (Jul 2, 2016)

This thread is rather hilarious.

I'd give all my goats and a pair of bagpipes to whatever type matches with an INFJ 9w1 male. Curiously, what would those be?


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Inu No Taisho said:


> This thread is rather hilarious.
> 
> I'd give all my goats and a pair of bagpipes to whatever type matches with an INFJ 9w1 male. Curiously, what would those be?


I have some sex dolls out back if you need to take a load off.


----------



## Lone Adventurer (Jul 2, 2016)

Drunk Parrot said:


> I have some sex dolls out back if you need to take a load off.


Thanks lad, but not really my style. If you have living flesh and blood ones, then call back on me!


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Inu No Taisho said:


> Thanks lad, but not really my style. If you have living flesh and blood ones, then call back on me!


I don't. My offer is unfortunately the best that an INFJ 9w1 can ever get


----------



## Lone Adventurer (Jul 2, 2016)

Drunk Parrot said:


> I don't. My offer is unfortunately the best that an INFJ 9w1 can ever get


Then I guess there really is no hope. 

Eh, so what. My goats (I actually do own two) will love me more than anything life will probably throw at me.


----------



## Stopping By Woods (Jun 20, 2016)

Thanks to a nice lady called _Mariam Abacha_, I've come into a small fortune.

But enough about that...

I seek a slim female 28-41

I am an INFJ

What can I get for:

_Eighteen hundred weight of rusty iron piping with fittings.
One bronze bicycle with cement parachute ejector seat.
Twenty four lead budgerigar perches.
+
30 x Atari ET video game cartridges._


If the above is not up to par, please contact my legal representation in Lagos, _Barrister Martins O. Williams (Esq.) Legal Adviser _who will release the required equivalent funds to you.


----------



## Dissonance (Aug 23, 2012)

NewMango said:


> My favorite men are the ones who look Eastern European, with dark hair and big dark expressive eyes. and sort of pallid skin *swoon*


So can they actually _be_ Eastern European or are you just into the aesthetic? xD


----------



## MolaMola (Jul 28, 2012)

Oh yes yes yes ~! Actually foreign is a HUGE plus!!


----------



## Slagasauras (Jun 26, 2013)

catwalk said:


> he claimed me_ twice_ *::*
> 
> http://personalitycafe.com/sex-relationships/696722-i-have-taken-electronic-woman-my-bride.html
> 
> ...


oh my fucking god i knew you were talking about tucken i'm dying


----------



## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

Slagasauras said:


> oh my fucking god i knew you were talking about tucken i'm dying


----------



## Dissonance (Aug 23, 2012)

NewMango said:


> Oh yes yes yes ~! Actually foreign is a HUGE plus!!


'tis a good day to be a Bulgarian programmer :happy:


----------



## Slagasauras (Jun 26, 2013)

Catwalk said:


>


My Ne cannot even decipher what this means.
What the hell Catwalk? 
You nasty.


----------



## MolaMola (Jul 28, 2012)

Dissonance said:


> 'tis a good day to be a Bulgarian programmer :happy:


ARE YOU A BULGARIAN PROGRAMMER FOR REAL???

I think Bulgarians are RIDICULOUSLY sexy. I just love the way you guys look. And the way your language sounds. Also I like the food. I just like everything. Omg. Be mine <3 <3 <3 <3


----------



## MolaMola (Jul 28, 2012)

I've also liked what I've seen of the male species hailing from Romania and Albania. And my ex INFJ bf of two years (still my best friend) is Georgian ^.^

Haven't seen enough Serbian men to say, but also, Serbian women are absolutely drop dead gorgeous. Good lord!!! *_*


----------



## Dissonance (Aug 23, 2012)

NewMango said:


> ARE YOU A BULGARIAN PROGRAMMER FOR REAL???
> 
> I think Bulgarians are RIDICULOUSLY sexy. I just love the way you guys look. And the way your language sounds. Also I like the food. I just like everything. Omg. Be mine <3 <3 <3 <3


We are?? THE WORLD MUST KNOW OF THIS

And what if I was


----------



## MolaMola (Jul 28, 2012)

Dissonance said:


> We are?? THE WORLD MUST KNOW OF THIS
> 
> And what if I was


Yes yes yes! I should just go the Bulgarian consulate in SF and get a list of all the Bulgarian programmers in SF. Find myself a husband. *_* Or maybe I should go to Bulgaria and bring one home with me. Best souvenir ever ^________^


----------



## MolaMola (Jul 28, 2012)

NewMango said:


> Yes yes yes! I should just go the Bulgarian consulate in SF and get a list of all the Bulgarian programmers in SF. Find myself a husband. *_* Or maybe I should go to Bulgaria and bring one home with me. Best souvenir ever ^________^


Actually, in fact, it is well known amongst my close friends that I am seeking a visa marriage should my current quest for Polish citizenship (still waiting on the last paper I requested from the US gov't in DECEMBER 2015 to come through so I can actually send in my application...yes that is right....December 2015) fail. I could just find my candidate when I move abroad for my master's but would be much better to get this done prior to hopping the pond.

So, *tl;dr* all you sexy EU national men (and women). :wink: Hey I just met you, and this is crazy... but here's my number... CALL ME MAYBE..


----------



## Dissonance (Aug 23, 2012)

NewMango said:


> Yes yes yes! I should just go the Bulgarian consulate in SF and get a list of all the Bulgarian programmers in SF. Find myself a husband. *_* Or maybe I should go to Bulgaria and bring one home with me. Best souvenir ever ^________^


Naaah those Bulgarians in SF would not do you justice. Being there in SF, their Bulgarian-ness has faded. They are but pale imitations of the true Varna-sun-baked thing. I bet they even enjoy life!

If you should decide to foray into the exotic locale that is my homeland... I'll be keeping that info just to myself. And you'd better be ready for anything, there's some things that aren't on the travel advisory.


----------



## MolaMola (Jul 28, 2012)

Ahahaha!! <3 Would be interested to know more about Bulgarian culture from you, @Dissonance!

One thing though... I like you guys pale and with a sort of blue-ish skin tone, but with Dark hair and dark eyes and definitely some sexy dark body hair but not too much. So I suppose I should check out a colder region of Bulgaria for my dream hubby. Or just one who wears a lot of sunscreen. B-)


----------



## MolaMola (Jul 28, 2012)

Oh also!!! I think it's super adorable if, when they get tired, their Bulgarian accent comes out more strongly. *___* And they are also free to speak to me in Bulgarian and teach me some phrases if they want because I think it sounds so sexy when men speak it *____*


----------



## Dissonance (Aug 23, 2012)

NewMango said:


> Ahahaha!! <3 Would be interested to know more about Bulgarian culture from you, @*Dissonance* !
> 
> One thing though... I like you guys pale and with a sort of blue-ish skin tone, but with Dark hair and dark eyes and definitely some sexy dark body hair but not too much. So I suppose I should check out a colder region of Bulgaria for my dream hubby. Or just one who wears a lot of sunscreen. B-)


I'm pretty sure your dream hubby hails from my home town. I mean.. Ambassador Dissonance is at your service. We'll talk about payment later.



NewMango said:


> Oh also!!! I think it's super adorable if, when they get tired, their Bulgarian accent comes out more strongly. *___* And they are also free to speak to me in Bulgarian and teach me some phrases if they want because I think it sounds so sexy when men speak it *____*


Ambassador Dissonance is also available for private tutoring. You might find my price a bit stiff but I'm sure you'll be satisfied.


----------



## Lone Adventurer (Jul 2, 2016)

I see it pays off to be foreign and multi-cultural.


----------



## MolaMola (Jul 28, 2012)

Oohh yes it does! so much. rawr.
multiligual <3



also a big fan of british accents <3 like every american girl on planet earth LOL. but my thing is I like it when they have a British accent but also when they get tired or something another accent <3 <3


----------



## MolaMola (Jul 28, 2012)

Lol xD!!




dissonance said:


> i'm pretty sure your dream hubby hails from my home town. I mean.. Ambassador dissonance is at your service. We'll talk about payment later.
> 
> 
> 
> Ambassador dissonance is also available for private tutoring. You might find my price a bit stiff but i'm sure you'll be satisfied.


----------



## Stopping By Woods (Jun 20, 2016)

NewMango said:


> Oohh yes it does! so much. rawr.
> multiligual <3
> 
> 
> ...


I have an English (what most Americans erroneously refer to as British accent - ANY native accent from the UK is a British accent) but I have a tendency to pick up on the accents of others I am with and mimic them to a high degree. I did this as a child (bidialectalism) with family from other parts of the UK.


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Inu No Taisho said:


> I see it pays off to be foreign and multi-cultural.


It pays way more to just be good looking


----------



## TTIOTBSAL (May 26, 2014)

I'll bid on @INTonyP if I can be his master.


----------



## Lone Adventurer (Jul 2, 2016)

Drunk Parrot said:


> It pays way more to just be good looking


I guess people are simple these days, eh?

And what is an interesting personality worth nowadays? Not much, I'd wager.


----------



## MolaMola (Jul 28, 2012)

Inu No Taisho said:


> Drunk Parrot said:
> 
> 
> > It pays way more to just be good looking
> ...


 Honestly good looking counts for jack sh*t with me, on its own. It's nice to have but if the factors I am looking for (personality, character, intelligence) are not present, forget it!


----------



## Dissonance (Aug 23, 2012)

NewMango said:


> Honestly good looking counts for jack sh*t with me, on its own. It's nice to have but if the factors I am looking for (personality, character, intelligence) are not present, forget it!


Guess we know why Brits and Bulgarians are the ones to make it to the finals xD


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Inu No Taisho said:


> I guess people are simple these days, eh?
> 
> And what is an interesting personality worth nowadays? Not much, I'd wager.


Great Personality without sex appeal = friendship at best. All you need is one person to find you attractive though, to have a shot at love. But if 99.9% of people find you attractive, then your chances are much better. Not really a difficult concept there.


----------



## Millie (Nov 22, 2014)

Double Penetration Does The Rock Hard Math Just For You™

No Refunds™

Satisfaction Optional™

Satisfaction Guaranteed™™


----------



## bkdjdnfbnne (Mar 8, 2015)

I bid one humping monkey and a bottle of chloroform for Miles O.


----------



## Asity (May 12, 2014)

Can I bid on Axwell? I'll bid a week old, opened beer.


----------



## Dasein (Jun 11, 2015)

Dana Scully said:


> I'll bid on @INTonyP if I can be his master.


This is sounding promising. What kind of master would you be? Will you put a dog chain on my neck and make me be a good boy?


----------



## TTIOTBSAL (May 26, 2014)

INTonyP said:


> This is sounding promising. What kind of master would you be? Will you put a dog chain on my neck and make me be a good boy?



No. I need someone to do the laundry, the dishes, pick up my long black Scully trench, make up the dinner, and no chains, not my methods. Bring that leopard bra of yours.


----------



## Dasein (Jun 11, 2015)

Dana Scully said:


> No. I need someone to do the laundry, the dishes, pick up my long black Scully trench, make up the dinner, and no chains, not my methods. Bring that leopard bra of yours.


More dishes and laundry? :dry:

This begs the question, who will spend more time on all fours? :wink:


----------



## TTIOTBSAL (May 26, 2014)

INTonyP said:


> More dishes and laundry? :dry:
> 
> This begs the question, who will spend more time on all fours? :wink:


If you want to do extras, I'm fine with it.


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Who wants to be auctioned off, next?


----------



## Stockholmaren (May 25, 2016)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Who wants to be auctioned off, next?


I'm ready.

My username used to be ReachForPeach btw


----------



## Emerald Legend (Jul 13, 2010)

Have no idea how this thread works.


Cliffs?


----------



## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Emerald Legend said:


> Have no idea how this thread works.
> 
> 
> Cliffs?


I auction you off and you get molested! roud:


----------



## Stockholmaren (May 25, 2016)

Drunk Parrot said:


> I auction you off and you get molested! roud:


I appreciate you chose to spare from these molesting pervs.


----------



## mangodelic psycho (Jan 12, 2015)

Oddnet said:


> I appreciate you chose to spare from these molesting pervs.


Yes, thanks Parrot for saving this yummy piece of infp ass for me ^^

totes not objectifying


----------



## mangodelic psycho (Jan 12, 2015)

Emerald Legend said:


> Have no idea how this thread works.
> 
> 
> Cliffs?


You just wear your sexiest stuff, preferable lingerie, regardless of your sex, we're not sexist here on perc, and parade yourself like a piece of lamb while eagles are circling above you waiting to grab and throw you off the cliff of passion.


----------



## Stockholmaren (May 25, 2016)

psychedelicmango said:


> Yes, thanks Parrot for saving this yummy piece of infp ass for me ^^
> 
> totes not objectifying


_Oh_ *mango* - You're like a knight in shining armor with sexy lingerie beneath. Jump on my back and let's get the fuck outta here :words:


----------



## mangodelic psycho (Jan 12, 2015)

Oddnet said:


> _Oh_ *mango* - You're like a knight in shining armor with sexy lingerie beneath. Jump on my back and let's get the fuck outta here :words:


Nothing in exchange? You're too easy *jumps anyway* weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!


----------



## Millie (Nov 22, 2014)

psychedelicmango said:


> Nothing in exchange? You're too easy *jumps anyway* weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!


*starts parading*

Throw me from the cliff bb


----------



## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

Miley O said:


> *starts parading*
> 
> Throw me from the cliff bb


Why not go diving in MY cliff?


----------



## Millie (Nov 22, 2014)

WamphyriThrall said:


> Why not go diving in MY cliff?


Your cliff is so deep and damp I might drown before I can ever climb out, plz pull me in :love_heart::love_heart::love_heart:


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## Desthro (Feb 18, 2016)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Hold me desthro, I need your love. :crying:


We need to go find @katemess first. Then we can hug it out.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Desthro said:


> We need to go find @katemess first. Then we can hug it out.


I'll be like "Baby, you and me is love meant to be. You, me, and desthro = :love_heart: "


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## Desthro (Feb 18, 2016)

Drunk Parrot said:


> I'll be like "Baby, you and me is love meant to be. You, me, and desthro = :love_heart: "


How much did I get sold for anyway? LoL Maybe I can buy out my contract. . .


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

Desthro said:


> How much did I get sold for anyway? LoL Maybe I can buy out my contract. . .





katemess said:


> I bid 5c and some cat hair.


You went pretty high.


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## Desthro (Feb 18, 2016)

Drunk Parrot said:


> You went pretty high.


Not bad. That's my personal best.


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## sweetraglansweater (Jul 31, 2015)

Drunk Parrot said:


> First up, we have @Veggie
> 
> 
> 
> ...


1,000 Czech Krona.


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## sweetraglansweater (Jul 31, 2015)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Hello and welcome to the first PerC member date auction. We have an assortment of PerC's most eligible bachelors and bachelorettes, ready to be auctioned off to the highest bidder. I know some of you are horny and all of you are lonely so this is the perfect opportunity to see if _Love is an Open Door!_
> 
> And remember, all proceeds go to the Save the INFPs Charity*
> 
> ...


how did i miss this awesomeness.

this is basically the Matchmaking thread on steroids but you found a way to make money off of it.

Genius. 

Marry me.


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## VoxPopuli (Aug 21, 2016)

sweetraglansweater said:


> how did i miss this awesomeness.
> 
> this is basically the Matchmaking thread on steroids but you found a way to make money off of it.
> 
> ...


Yeah, except when I tried to buy Veggie I was told it was all just a joke. I legit thought it was serious.


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

VoxPopuli said:


> Yeah, except when I tried to buy Veggie I was told it was all just a joke. I legit thought it was serious.


Your kind isn't welcomed here :dry:



sweetraglansweater said:


> how did i miss this awesomeness.
> 
> this is basically the Matchmaking thread on steroids but you found a way to make money off of it.
> 
> ...


You gotta bid to make that happened.


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## sweetraglansweater (Jul 31, 2015)

Drunk Parrot said:


> Your kind isn't welcomed here :dry:
> 
> 
> 
> You gotta bid to make that happened.


*checks purse*

2 Euro, 200 CZKrona, 50 UK cent bit thingie, two canisters of pimo liptube, twenty one benadryl pills and my very best pair of white opera gloves...?

I already bit 1,000 CZKrona on Veggie so I'm kind of low here...


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## sweetraglansweater (Jul 31, 2015)

VoxPopuli said:


> Yeah, except when I tried to buy Veggie I was told it was all just a joke. I legit thought it was serious.


you would try to buy a woman. You would. 

;p


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## Parrot (Feb 22, 2015)

sweetraglansweater said:


> *checks purse*
> 
> 2 Euro, 200 CZKrona, 50 UK cent bit thingie, two canisters of pimo liptube, twenty one benadryl pills and my very best pair of white opera gloves...?
> 
> I already bit 1,000 CZKrona on Veggie so I'm kind of low here...


Veggie didn't sell for that.


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## VoxPopuli (Aug 21, 2016)

sweetraglansweater said:


> you would try to buy a woman. You would.
> 
> ;p


Funny story: When I bought my cat I went to the pet store and said I wanted to buy a cat and they said it was, "adopt" a cat, not buy one. But if they're not for sale then why did I have to pay $50 for him...


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## VoxPopuli (Aug 21, 2016)

sweetraglansweater said:


> I already bit 1,000 CZKrona on Veggie so I'm kind of low here...


This is $41 in real money. Meanwhile I have already bid $500 for her so you're basically out of the running. But maybe if you're nice I'll share her with you. :wink:


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