# i n f j & a l o n e



## deathbyorca (Nov 22, 2014)

So, I decided to join this website after some inconclusive browsing on how to connect with others who extremely exemplify their personality types. My name is Richard Black. I have been taking Myers Briggs for 8 years now. I take the test every few months. Sometimes I take it while drinking, exhausted, half-awake - Sometimes I take it wide awake, rested and sober. I have, every single time, got I N F J. Out of all the books I have read on the personality type, and out of every thing I find patterned among websites and blogs I see how well I fit into this puzzle. I have not lived an easy life, nor have I lived a sheltered existence, nor have I been as privileged as most in my social circles. I have met many people who tell me that they are I N F J and at first I consider that they just might be and just might be able to understand my process of thought and the way I choose to live and see life. I have not met one single person in my life that comes as close to being an I N F J or more importantly anything like me... at all. So I am here. Because I am alone. I've exhausted my efforts and attempts to develop friendships. As a self help consultant it's almost contradicting that I be the one who reaches out for helping hands but after years of struggle, and continuous disappointment, I am here. I am willing and ready to share most of my life, for those who are interested. I am also a writer and have contributed to some major Blogs in Minimalism, Paleo Dieting, Organic Lifestyles and Anti-Consumerism of which I am happy to share with anyone. Points if you live in Southern California, due to me just moving back here after being all over the Map, I have no platonic interests and my phone is absent of any local living contacts. I am glad such a site exists, and I look forward to contributing and become better acquainted with the people who involve themselves as heavily as I do, with this.


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## Mr. CafeBot (Jun 13, 2009)

*You are hearing a robotic sounding voice coming towards you*



Greetings deathbyorca and welcome to PersonalityCafe!! My name is Mr. CafeBot. I am here to personally greet you and thank you for joining our humble little forum. No matter your type, you will surely experience a wonderful time with the members of this forum. We cater to all personality types so you will never feel alone or weird. Truth is this forum is full of weirdos!! Pleazeee hel.... *Ahem*I mean we have the nicest people you will ever meet. 

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## leftover crack (May 12, 2013)

Greetings Richard, from a loner INFJ.


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## deathbyorca (Nov 22, 2014)

Hello. Intentional or non intentional Loner?


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## leftover crack (May 12, 2013)

@deathbyorca (I'm really hoping I'm using this notification system right)

A mix of the two. I'm like oil to water.


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## I_destroyedtheuniverse (Jul 24, 2014)

DO YOU LIKE STEVE REICH? YOU SAID 'MINIMALISM' BUT THAT'S NOT VERY SPECIFIC, SO I WONDERED IF YOU LIKED STEVE REICH'S MUSIC. ELECTRIC COUNTERPOINT IS AWESOME. OKAY caps lock off now. 
Also, welcome to PerC.


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## deathbyorca (Nov 22, 2014)

progan666 said:


> @deathbyorca (I'm really hoping I'm using this notification system right)
> 
> A mix of the two. I'm like oil to water.


The water being what? The rest of humanity?


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## deathbyorca (Nov 22, 2014)

I_destroyedtheuniverse said:


> DO YOU LIKE STEVE REICH? YOU SAID 'MINIMALISM' BUT THAT'S NOT VERY SPECIFIC, SO I WONDERED IF YOU LIKED STEVE REICH'S MUSIC. ELECTRIC COUNTERPOINT IS AWESOME. OKAY caps lock off now.
> Also, welcome to PerC.


Well, it's actually very specific. Because I fit the Minimalist Lifestyle and Consideration in absolutely every thing I do. I do not like Reich as I don't usually listen to American composers. I do however love Richter, Johannson & Arnalds. 
If you're interested in Minimalism, I can send you links to some very worth while websites.


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## Deejaz (Feb 19, 2014)

> So I am here. Because I am alone.


Welcome @deathbyorca


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## leftover crack (May 12, 2013)

deathbyorca said:


> The water being what? The rest of humanity?


Yes, figuratively of course. 

Oil can dissolve in other non-polar solvents like gasoline so there's still hope. Does this mean that I'm alien? :O


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## deathbyorca (Nov 22, 2014)

Deejaz said:


> Welcome @deathbyorca


An Australian? Still in Australia? If so please, contact me.  Thank - You


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## I_destroyedtheuniverse (Jul 24, 2014)

deathbyorca said:


> Well, it's actually very specific. Because I fit the Minimalist Lifestyle and Consideration in absolutely every thing I do. I do not like Reich as I don't usually listen to American composers. I do however love Richter, Johannson & Arnalds.
> If you're interested in Minimalism, I can send you links to some very worth while websites.


Yes, please.


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## deathbyorca (Nov 22, 2014)

progan666 said:


> Yes, figuratively of course.
> 
> Oil can dissolve in other non-polar solvents like gasoline so there's still hope. Does this mean that I'm alien? :O


Well as much as I like fiction and Personification I can't truly relate. At this point in my life, I wouldn't care if you were an imaginary 50 Foot Orange Goblin. If you can impress me, we'll be life long friends.


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## deathbyorca (Nov 22, 2014)

I_destroyedtheuniverse said:


> Yes, please.


Apparently I've not yet reached the righteous amount of posting. I can't send you a private message. Here is a link to my facebook 
profile.php?id=100007015876191 as that works as well. I do believe my email is also on my profile.


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## leftover crack (May 12, 2013)

deathbyorca said:


> Well as much as I like fiction and Personification I can't truly relate. At this point in my life, I wouldn't care if you were an imaginary 50 Foot Orange Goblin. If you can impress me, we'll be life long friends.


*I put on my wizard hat and proceed to cast a spell* Thou shall be impressed! Muahahaha! This is as good as it gets. You are talking to an INFJ loner who happens to be interested in psychology, science and technology. No minimalism to be found here, rather quite the opposite. 

But there's so many INFJs in the PerC community and interesting people of all types! Enjoy your stay.


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## deathbyorca (Nov 22, 2014)

progan666 said:


> *I put on my wizard hat and proceed to cast a spell* Thou shall be impressed! Muahahaha! This is as good as it gets. You are talking to an INFJ loner who happens to be interested in psychology, science and technology. No minimalism to be found here, rather quite the opposite.
> 
> But there's so many INFJs in the PerC community and interesting people of all types! Enjoy your stay.


Well, The idea behind a Minimalist Lifestyle was created and refined by psychologists. It has really little to do with possessions or the amount of things you pull in. Rather the significance of that which you pull in and allow to possess your life.  but Thank - You for the kind responses.


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## Kebachi (May 27, 2014)

Study the functions, young padawan. The 4 letter code and descriptions are misleading, the functions are the foundation of your type.


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## deathbyorca (Nov 22, 2014)

Kebachi said:


> The 4 letter code and descriptions are misleading, the functions are the foundation of your type.


Had to google Padawan. . . I find this response incredibly condescending and hurtful. I have done plenty of research, thank you.


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## Slagasauras (Jun 26, 2013)

Hey, INFJ.
A paleo dieter too? I'm thinking about trying that yet I get shitty and need to eat bread haha.


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## AdroElectro (Oct 28, 2014)

You are not alone in feeling alone. It can happen to anybody. I'm alone, and I'm a freaking ENFP! Have you looked into enneagram at all? I'm convinced that in my case I feel unable to connect with others because I'm an enneagram type 4, it doesn't have anything to do with my mbti.

I also want to point out that even though right now you may feel you've exhausted all efforts and attempts to develop friendships, you're 23. You still have your entire life ahead of you, you can't give up now. But in the meantime, the sense of community I get from involving myself in the ENFP forums definitely improves my spirits, so I suspect the same will happen to you if you involve yourself in the INFJ forums.

One random question, do you wear or have an opinion on minimalist shoes by any chance?


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## deathbyorca (Nov 22, 2014)

Yoohoo Larry said:


> Hey, INFJ.
> A paleo dieter too? I'm thinking about trying that yet I get shitty and need to eat bread haha.


Yes a Paleo Dieter.  If you're truly interested I can promise you this. There is a no return point to each of the foods that could entice you. I used to LOVE cheese. Now... even the smell of it disgusts me. I used to Love Cake, Muffins, Bread and now the texture feels like I'm chewing on a sofa! It's strange but true!


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## deathbyorca (Nov 22, 2014)

AdroElectro said:


> You are not alone in feeling alone. It can happen to anybody. I'm alone, and I'm a freaking ENFP! Have you looked into enneagram at all? I'm convinced that in my case I feel unable to connect with others because I'm an enneagram type 4, it doesn't have anything to do with my mbti.
> 
> I also want to point out that even though right now you may feel you've exhausted all efforts and attempts to develop friendships, you're 23. You still have your entire life ahead of you, you can't give up now. But in the meantime, the sense of community I get from involving myself in the ENFP forums definitely improves my spirits, so I suspect the same will happen to you if you involve yourself in the INFJ forums.
> 
> One random question, do you wear or have an opinion on minimalist shoes by any chance?


Thank you so much for the warm welcome and kind response. Believe it or not I write for Self Help blogs and practice Consultation on those who are the brink of "giving up" I can assure you, I will never give up nor succumb to depression. My logic defies it and I'm far too happy. There are days I feel truly blessed to be so introverted because although my expectations are never met, being alone doesn't scare me or make me sad. As far the Minimalist Shoes go... it really depends on your preference. 

The absolute best - VIVOBAREFOOT 

I use all barefoot shoes - Toms as well. Nothing like natural


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## AdroElectro (Oct 28, 2014)

Yeah sometimes I wish I was an introvert, life would be so much easier if I didn't need people so much :/ For me though I feel blessed to be a perceiver. As much as I want to wallow in depression and self-pity I can't help but perceive a ton of different ways on how things COULD be better, so I always bounce back with feelings of hope.

Also, YES!!! You are the first person I've met who also wears Vivobarefoot! I have 4 pairs already, and wouldn't mind getting 2 more. I've tried all the different brands of minimalist shoes and they are the only one's I like. They do seem to have pretty big issues with quality though, especially considering how expensive they are.  The only other shoe I would consider wearing at the moment would be Vans, they seem to have a wider toe box than other brands of sneakers. Unlike you though I got into minimalist shoes because I was desperately searching for a way to run without knee pain. I'm not really into any other kind of minimalism. Although I'm definitely not a materialist, I don't know if any materialist ENFPs exist lol.


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## Slagasauras (Jun 26, 2013)

deathbyorca said:


> Yes a Paleo Dieter.  If you're truly interested I can promise you this. There is a no return point to each of the foods that could entice you. I used to LOVE cheese. Now... even the smell of it disgusts me. I used to Love Cake, Muffins, Bread and now the texture feels like I'm chewing on a sofa! It's strange but true!


Hm, interesting. I need to bulk up anyways.
Also, I agree, you could be a type four INFJ.


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## Kebachi (May 27, 2014)

deathbyorca said:


> Had to google Padawan. . . I find this response incredibly condescending and hurtful. I have done plenty of research, thank you.


Wasn't meant to be taken so personally, sorry you felt that way.


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## deathbyorca (Nov 22, 2014)

AdroElectro said:


> Yeah sometimes I wish I was an introvert, life would be so much easier if I didn't need people so much :/ For me though I feel blessed to be a perceiver. As much as I want to wallow in depression and self-pity I can't help but perceive a ton of different ways on how things COULD be better, so I always bounce back with feelings of hope.
> 
> Also, YES!!! You are the first person I've met who also wears Vivobarefoot! I have 4 pairs already, and wouldn't mind getting 2 more. I've tried all the different brands of minimalist shoes and they are the only one's I like. They do seem to have pretty big issues with quality though, especially considering how expensive they are.  The only other shoe I would consider wearing at the moment would be Vans, they seem to have a wider toe box than other brands of sneakers. Unlike you though I got into minimalist shoes because I was desperately searching for a way to run without knee pain. I'm not really into any other kind of minimalism. Although I'm definitely not a materialist, I don't know if any materialist ENFPs exist lol.



Vivo is the way to go. I have very wide feet so I love the wide toe box and in my opinion they are quite beautiful. I wouldn't know too much about the quality, I haven't put a hole in mine yet but I only own the leather ones, my toms however have multiple holes...


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## deathbyorca (Nov 22, 2014)

I will definitely do my research on type 4. In the meantime you should try the 1 Week Paleo Challenge and see what kind of effects it may have on you


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## Kebachi (May 27, 2014)

I am curious though, have you researched the functions?
I thought I was INFP for the longest because that's what I always tested as. The descriptions didn't really help me much either. 
It wasn't until I studied up on the functions that I figured out my type.

I'm honestly getting more of an INFP feel from your posts. You seem to use Fi and Te.


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## deathbyorca (Nov 22, 2014)

Kebachi said:


> I'm honestly getting more of an INFP feel from your posts.



Well as much as I would love to argue with you that I am what I say I am and I have done hours of research to try and disband and or develop it... I'm not going to, but you're more than happy to send me a personal message if you want to get to know me on a more personal basis and then decide what you think I am.


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## Kebachi (May 27, 2014)

deathbyorca said:


> Well as much as I would love to argue with you that I am what I say I am and I have done hours of research to try and disband and or develop it... I'm not going to, but you're more than happy to send me a personal message if you want to get to know me on a more personal basis and then decide what you think I am.


I don't think that debating and arguing are the same thing. In any event, I'll send you a PM.


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## love.script (Nov 23, 2014)

And I do not feel alone, Richard. I am upset you feel alone.


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## deathbyorca (Nov 22, 2014)

love.script said:


> And I do not feel alone, Richard. I am upset you feel alone.


Say wha!? Well I don't feel alone as much as I am alone through a comparison of individualistic traits that set me apart from every one I know. I simply, don't have much or close to any thing in common with any one. Especially my reasons behind the things I do.


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## love.script (Nov 23, 2014)

I am happy. I thought you meant "alone" with regards to social function.

You only mean with relation of your values and other characteristics of your person to other humans. That you have not found many people like yourself in the physical world yet. Which is why you have come here to the digital community at personalitycafe.com?


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## deathbyorca (Nov 22, 2014)

love.script said:


> I am happy. I thought you meant "alone" with regards to social function.
> 
> You only mean with relation of your values and other characteristics of your person to other humans. That you have not found many people like yourself in the physical world yet. Which is why you have come here to the digital community at personalitycafe.com?


Si. I am one of those that... well there is a great deal of people who would get terribly offended if I told them I had no friends. I have tons of friends. I can't remember the last time I didn't have a girlfriend... but the truth is, no one has ever came close to meeting my expectations.


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## love.script (Nov 23, 2014)

I understand.  Strong sense of self. You are around my developmental age range, according to the demographic "generation Y." I am sure you can speak with me and I can please you. I shouldn't have any trouble with you in a one-on-one vocal conversation.

Is that something you would feel inclined to do with such little notice? With little existing bonding? Based solely on my feeling to help you be less alone and the possibility I can please your "expectations?" A little surprise?

If you use Skype software, I will speak with you through voice-only conversation.


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## deathbyorca (Nov 22, 2014)

love.script said:


> I understand.  Strong sense of self. You are around my developmental age range, according to the demographic "generation Y." I am sure you can speak with me and I can please you. I shouldn't have any trouble with you in a one-on-one vocal conversation.
> 
> Is that something you would feel inclined to do with such little notice? With little existing bonding? Based solely on my feeling to help you be less alone and the possibility I can please your "expectations?" A little surprise?
> 
> If you use Skype software, I will speak with you through voice-only conversation.



Well Siri I would definitely say there lies all the potential if you have iMessage.


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## love.script (Nov 23, 2014)

Have you just chosen to speak to me as "Siri?"

Would iMessage function for our purposes of voice conversation if I am using the generation of iPod Touch previous to the present day generation? That is the iPod Touch which has Wifi connectivity.


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## deathbyorca (Nov 22, 2014)

love.script said:


> Have you just chosen to speak to me as "Siri?"
> 
> Would iMessage function for our purposes of voice conversation if I am using the generation of iPod Touch previous to the present day generation? That is the iPod Touch which has Wifi connectivity.


Are you serious?


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## love.script (Nov 23, 2014)

Why are you questioning me and standing against me? I have offered to help you and speak with you. I felt you wanted to have someone to be with you. 

You are deterring me with your statements against me.


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## deathbyorca (Nov 22, 2014)

love.script said:


> Why are you questioning me and standing against me? I have offered to help you and speak with you. I felt you wanted to have someone to be with you.
> 
> You are deterring me with your statements against me.


I am not. I was being sincere, believe it or not. Yes you can message me through my email to my iMessage.


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## love.script (Nov 23, 2014)

If it does not mean for us to be sharing voice conversation together, I have no interest in using that method. If it is only for text, we may already do so here.


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## Slagasauras (Jun 26, 2013)

deathbyorca said:


> I will definitely do my research on type 4. In the meantime you should try the 1 Week Paleo Challenge and see what kind of effects it may have on you


I'll do that, thanks.


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## deathbyorca (Nov 22, 2014)

Yoohoo Larry said:


> I'll do that, thanks.


Def shoot me a private message so we can link up in other ways. I'd love to keep talking.


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## Alexsommer (Nov 13, 2014)

Hello & welcome to the forum 😊


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## FePa (Feb 13, 2014)

Hi Richard, welcome

There's always some more room in my ♥ for a Ni-dom ready to open up and explore the beauties of relationships (whatever kind)


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