# Empy Nest Syndrome



## outofplace (Dec 19, 2012)

My youngest daughter has finally moved out on her own and left the nest. She only lives about 15 minutes away from me. Has any parents experienced this "empty nest" syndrome? How did you cope? Did you experience feelings such as sadness, depression, loneliness? How long did it last? Did you call them often? 

I sure could use some encouraging advice right now.


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## dragthewaters (Feb 9, 2013)

Maybe you need more social contacts in your life? Perhaps you should join a group for a hobby that you are interested in, or do some volunteer work.


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## Word Dispenser (May 18, 2012)

Time to get a pet. :kitteh:


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

check for support groups in your area
my sister is going through the same thing now and it's not easy for her to let go


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

Word Dispenser said:


> Time to get a pet. :kitteh:


the owners of this bird only live a few miles from me
i do not know them but this was in our local paper last week


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## jamaix (Sep 20, 2013)

outofplace said:


> My youngest daughter has finally moved out on her own and left the nest. She only lives about 15 minutes away from me. Has any parents experienced this "empty nest" syndrome? How did you cope? Did you experience feelings such as sadness, depression, loneliness? How long did it last? Did you call them often?
> 
> I sure could use some encouraging advice right now.


Both of my kids have moved out within the last 2 years. Daughter married when she was 20, almost 2 years ago, and now lives more than 1,000 miles away. My son left for college in August, and he is more than 1,000 miles away. Initially I did not cope well with this situation at all. I went into terrible depression to the point I was almost non-functioning. I did not cope well with not being needed by them anymore. Although mine was probably compounded by the fact that I home schooled my kids and was use to being around them a lot. So to have them go from being around home most of the time, to not seeing them at all was a huge adjustment.

I don't have any great advice, basically I went through a progression. Initially I cried just about every single day, and then it changed to crying a few times a week, to realizing the other day that I had went about 2 months without crying. Although I broke down yesterday and cried, but it was the first time in about 2 months. The weird part for me is that prior to this, I never cried. Crying was just never my way of coping with things. For some reason my kids leaving triggered this unusual behavior from me. It has taken me almost 2 years to get use to all of this. I still don't like it though. 

Initially I only got to talk to my daughter about once or twice per month, but now that she is no longer a newlywed she usually calls me about once a week. I normally get to talk to my son about 1 time every 10 to 14 days. 

I joined a gym about 2 months ago, and I think this has helped me a lot. Going to the gym, getting use to them being gone, and acceptance that they are now grown-up and independent, has all been part of the process. It has taken me close to 2 years to get use to all of this. I think it probably wouldn't take this long for most, if they knew that their kids would be living close enough that they would get to see them more than 2 times per year.

The main thing is realize that it will take you some time to get use to this, but you will adapt to it. Some positives, the house stays neater and there's is less work to do around home.

I don't know if any of this has been helpful or not. If you have any specific questions feel free to ask me.


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## outofplace (Dec 19, 2012)

jamaix said:


> Both of my kids have moved out within the last 2 years. Daughter married when she was 20, almost 2 years ago, and now lives more than 1,000 miles away. My son left for college in August, and he is more than 1,000 miles away. Initially I did not cope well with this situation at all. I went into terrible depression to the point I was almost non-functioning. I did not cope well with not being needed by them anymore. Although mine was probably compounded by the fact that I home schooled my kids and was use to being around them a lot. So to have them go from being around home most of the time, to not seeing them at all was a huge adjustment.
> 
> I don't have any great advice, basically I went through a progression. Initially I cried just about every single day, and then it changed to crying a few times a week, to realizing the other day that I had went about 2 months without crying. Although I broke down yesterday and cried, but it was the first time in about 2 months. The weird part for me is that prior to this, I never cried. Crying was just never my way of coping with things. For some reason my kids leaving triggered this unusual behavior from me. It has taken me almost 2 years to get use to all of this. I still don't like it though.
> 
> ...


Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm sorry that your children are living thousands of miles from you. I'm happy to know that you are handling it well, now.

I'm not crying everyday but I have experienced depression now and then. My oldest daughter moved out 5 years ago and lives 2 hours away in another city. Although I was sad to see her go, I didn't feel these emotions so deeply because I still had my youngest daughter at home with me. Now that she's gone, it's finally hit me that my daughters are now capable of taking care of themselves and are no longer dependent on me. I guess I'm still dealing with the initial changes of coming home to an empty house and I understand that it's an adjustment. I'm pretty sure we will stay in touch through video chat and they both plan on spending Mother's Day with me so maybe I'm making a big deal out of this then necessary.


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## outofplace (Dec 19, 2012)

vinniebob said:


> check for support groups in your area
> my sister is going through the same thing now and it's not easy for her to let go


I'm thinking of joining meetups.com in my local area. Thanks


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## outofplace (Dec 19, 2012)

Ooops. Double post


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## outofplace (Dec 19, 2012)

thismustbetheplace said:


> Maybe you need more social contacts in your life? Perhaps you should join a group for a hobby that you are interested in, or do some volunteer work.


I'm looking into that. Maybe I'll try the dating scene. I hope I'm not out of practice.


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## outofplace (Dec 19, 2012)

Word Dispenser said:


> Time to get a pet. :kitteh:


Sorry, I'm not much of an animal lover. But thanks for the advice, though.


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## Word Dispenser (May 18, 2012)

outofplace said:


> Sorry, I'm not much of an animal lover. But thanks for the advice, though.


Oh dear. Not even fish? Or cats?

Hmm.. This is a strange turn of events. I was sure this piece of advice would change your life. :shocked: 

I'm not sure what else to advise, I'm afraid. It's always difficult to be separated from family. I've been living in a country far away from mine, and I haven't gotten to visit them for almost 6 years. 

Finally my sister and mom are coming to visit this summer. I can't tell you how happy that makes me. :kitteh:

I suppose I should say.. Be happy with what you have with your children, and that they aren't too far away?


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

outofplace said:


> I'm thinking of joining meetups.com in my local area. Thanks


do you have any pets?
that could be a option as well


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## outofplace (Dec 19, 2012)

vinniebob said:


> do you have any pets?
> that could be a option as well


No. I'm not much of an animal lover. I know pets make good companions but I can't have a two-way conversation with them.


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

outofplace said:


> No. I'm not much of an animal lover. I know pets make good companions but I can't have a two-way conversation with them.


i love animals, why they're my favorite food
just add white rice and a egg roll and fifi makes a nice meal


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## outofplace (Dec 19, 2012)

exterminates-daleks said:


> i love animals, why they're my favorite food
> just add white rice and a egg roll and fifi makes a nice meal



Can't argue with you, there. At least we both agree they taste great in meals. :wink:


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

outofplace said:


> Can't argue with you, there. At least we both agree they taste great in meals. :wink:


we call them pets and the chinese call them live stock
go figure


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## chanteuse (May 30, 2014)

Time to celebrate and live "your" life! 

My social circle consists of all empty nesters (kids out to college, finished college, working, but no one is a granny yet). This is how we got our college choir group back together after a 30-year break. 

At first we were all tentative, not knowing if we could commit to rehearsals or be able to enjoy each other's company after such a long break. A year later, we thrive and even got new members (ppl not with the original choir from 30 years ago) hooked. 

We rehearse every Saturday, sharing afternoon tea (always home cooked/baked goods), and having communal dinner together. We visit senior centers to sing for them. We were invited to perform at awards dinners and functions. Once a month we celebrate birthdays of the month by singing karaoke, ballroom dance, and whatever ppl care to perform for the group. We go off to a weekend get-away twice a year. We have talent show during holiday season when the kids can perform along with the parents. It's a total blast!

Find something you love doing and a group to do with. Wish you luck!


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