# "blue bean" compared to "blue balls"



## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

This thread is about the concept of "blue balls" and whether or not it can be applied to people with vaginas (and no testicles).

How it is similar/different.

One thing I thought of is that people with vaginas can have multiple orgasms whereas usually people with penis/testicles have a period where they have to wait, I think.

Share personal experiences if you want and discuss the concept if you feel like it.

Edit: Also--this title is about vaginas, but people without vaginas feel free to contribute as well, about whether or not "blue balls" is a real thing or an exaggeration or anything.


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## Hexigoon (Mar 12, 2018)

I think the female equivalent of blue balls is sometimes called blue bean (referring to the clitoris).

But yeah, men have a refractory period after ejaculation. I lose nearly all of my sexual interest during that and it's kinda physically uncomfortable to try and climax again.
If the guy climaxes before the woman does then she'll probably experience this effect, or so I imagine. If the guy is cool then he'll try to help the woman finish even if he comes first - you really don't have to use your penis to get her there.


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

Hexigoon said:


> I think the female equivalent of blue balls is sometimes called blue bean (referring to the clitoris).
> 
> But yeah, men have a refractory period after ejaculation. I lose nearly all of my sexual interest during that and it's kinda physically uncomfortable to try and climax again.
> If the guy climaxes before the woman does then she'll probably experience this effect, or so I imagine. If the guy is cool then he'll try to finish the woman even if he comes first.


Ah--"blue bean" does make more sense as a term. Thank you!

Some questions that are general (I don't want to direct them at any one individual since it's personal and I could probably look it up but why not just ask)--how soon after climaxing does the "uncomfortable" feeling start? And when does it end?


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## Red Panda (Aug 18, 2010)

blue balls is when u get horny but don't have an opportunity to relieve yourself, so it's not related to the refractory period or multiple orgasms


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

Red Panda said:


> blue balls is when u get horny but don't have an opportunity to relieve yourself, so it's not related to the refractory period or multiple orgasms


So you believe people with vaginas tend to find relief from climaxing the same way people with penises do? And it is fairly similar?


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## Red Panda (Aug 18, 2010)

WickerDeer said:


> So you believe people with vaginas tend to find relief from climaxing the same way people with penises do? And it is fairly similar?


well i cant know for sure but probably is similar yes
especially when im ovulating i can get uncomfortably horny and i think it may be the same or a similar situation


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

Red Panda said:


> well i cant know for sure but probably is similar yes
> especially when im ovulating i can get uncomfortably horny and i think it may be the same or a similar situation


I've noticed periods like that while ovulating--also an increase in fantasizing for me, which can be really distracting.

However, I haven't ever had the same relationship with climaxing that I have understood people with penises/testicles to have--just from what I've learned in the media. I'm not really sure how accurate the portrayals are.


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## Rift (Mar 12, 2012)

aside from the obvious, it could also be a symptom of injury/ailment/abnormality of the testicles... also, mental health.


























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## Hexigoon (Mar 12, 2018)

WickerDeer said:


> Ah--"blue bean" does make more sense as a term. Thank you!
> 
> Some questions that are general (I don't want to direct them at any one individual since it's personal and I could probably look it up but why not just ask)--how soon after climaxing does the "uncomfortable" feeling start? And when does it end?


No problem!

Well, for me at least, pretty much as soon as I've caught my breath and the pleasure's subsided and I begin to get tired, it would become uncomfortably hypersensitive to try and go again.
I have to mentally force myself to get through the discomfort if I want to climax again soon afterwards, but that 2nd climax is so bleh compared to the discomfort that it is just not worth it for me.

The time it lasts varies for guy to guy (some guys can go again a few minutes, for others even days). For me it's probably like half a day, if I take a nap the hypersensitivity seems to die down though.


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

Hexigoon said:


> No problem!
> 
> Well, for me at least, pretty much as soon as I've caught my breath and the pleasure's subsided and I begin to get tired, it would become uncomfortably hypersensitive to try and go again.
> I have to mentally force myself to get through the discomfort if I want to climax again soon afterwards, but that 2nd climax is so bleh compared to the discomfort that it is just not worth it for me.
> ...


so once the pleasure has subsided--which is like a few seconds? I've always wondered this--thanks for answering. I assume it's as soon as the penis starts to lose an erection. To clarify--I just never understood exactly when the hypersensitivity starts--like is it during the climax or not. But it sounds like it must be right after.

I never thought of the sleep aspect--I wonder if that's why there's the stereotype about people falling asleep after having sex.


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

Rift said:


> aside from the obvious, it could also be a symptom of injury/ailment/abnormality of the testicles... also, mental health.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thanks--I'm definitely going to watch those later.


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## Red Panda (Aug 18, 2010)

WickerDeer said:


> I've noticed periods like that while ovulating--also an increase in fantasizing for me, which can be really distracting.
> 
> However, I haven't ever had the same relationship with climaxing that I have understood people with penises/testicles to have--just from what I've learned in the media. I'm not really sure how accurate the portrayals are.


it's an uncomfortable feeling of swelling, prob the best way to describe it

what are u referring to with the orgasm thing?


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## Hexigoon (Mar 12, 2018)

WickerDeer said:


> so once the pleasure has subsided--which is like a few seconds? I've always wondered this--thanks for answering.
> 
> I never thought of the sleep aspect--I wonder if that's why there's the stereotype about people falling asleep after having sex.


Yeah, kinda like a few seconds of pleasure and then dead lol As the French call it - *La petite mort *_(_"the little death").
I hear female orgasm can last much longer. If that's true then that's just no fair. LOL

.


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

Red Panda said:


> it's an uncomfortable feeling of swelling, prob the best way to describe it
> 
> what are u referring to with the orgasm thing?


In movies it seems like men basically orgasm and get tired and smoke a cigarette.

I don't really relate to that. I don't really like the orgasm as much as it's portrayed in movies. I prefer the periods before or in between.

So I was curious how actual people experience it. though I realize everyone's different.


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

Hexigoon said:


> Yeah, kinda like a few seconds of pleasure and then dead lol As the French call it - *La petite mort *_(_"the little death").
> I hear female orgasm can last much longer. If that's true then that's just no fair. LOL
> 
> .


I've heard some women can orgasm just from stimulation of breasts etc. which is definitely not fair! I've never noticed my orgasms taking a really long time though, but I am not necessarily an expert.  It might be possible to increase the time. That's pretty cool if it's possible.


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## Miharu (Apr 1, 2015)

All I’m gonna say is yes, some women can orgasm multiple times, but it is significantly harder to get there in the first place than it is for a man with a penis to orgasm. I’d take the ability to quickly orgasm any time over the ability to have multiple ones. 

I think biologically this must do with the fact that a woman does not need to orgasm to reproduce, but a man does. That’s what I call no fair.


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

@Miharu 

That's interesting--I don't like orgasming quickly because I usually feel like those are sort of cheaper. I usually go for the multiple ones if that happens--and sometimes I get irritated that I climaxed too quickly. 

I would prefer if the orgasm was some kind of ecstatic transcendental experience or something...I shouldn't be ungrateful though. But I guess it just seems so magical in films and I don't feel it's that magical in reality. Perhaps I'm just not looking at it the right way.

It might have to do with the length of it or something--the strength of it. I think it can vary for different women.


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## Miharu (Apr 1, 2015)

WickerDeer said:


> @Miharu
> 
> That's interesting--I don't like orgasming quickly because I usually feel like those are sort of cheaper. I usually go for the multiple ones if that happens--and sometimes I get irritated that I climaxed too quickly.
> 
> ...


When masturbating, longer/drawn out is definitely better + when you have a desire to masturbate in the first place—more often than not, you have the time too. (When I say desire, I mean when the urge is strong enough to act on it. At least for me, urges happen frequently but I don’t always act on them.)

But when having sex, I prefer a quicker one because men simply do not usually last 40 minutes or so like we women can (or at least they’d have to put on some more effort for that) so it’s just a hassle for a regular affair if they orgasm first and leave us with “blue beans” lol! However, if sex does not happen as often as I experience it, then of course, drawn out is best.


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

Miharu said:


> When masturbating, longer/drawn out is definitely better + when you have a desire to masturbate in the first place—more often than not, you have the time too. (When I say desire, I mean when the urge is strong enough to act on it. At least for me, urges happen frequently but I don’t always act on them.)
> 
> But when having sex, I prefer a quicker one because men simply do not usually last 40 minutes or so like we women can (or at least they’d have to put on some more effort for that) so it’s just a hassle for a regular affair if they orgasm first and leave us with “blue beans” lol! However, if sex does not happen as often as I experience it, then of course, drawn out is best.


That makes a lot of sense. When I thought about it more I also remembered a time when I had sex and orgasmed really quickly and it was pretty strong--maybe one of the strongest I've ever had. So perhaps it's different when it's sex.

And it is probably pretty exhausting for some men to try to last that long most (especially if it's often) so it makes sense to prefer quicker orgasms for that reason.


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## Rift (Mar 12, 2012)

Hexigoon said:


> Yeah, kinda like a few seconds of pleasure and then dead lol As the French call it - *La petite mort *_(_"the little death").
> I hear female orgasm can last much longer. If that's true then that's just no fair. LOL


but the trade off is males generally have more intense orgasms each time... 

though the feeling of the orgasm can be increased by way of prostate stimulation. . . 

kegels

various sex positions which are individual to each person... .same with learning how to pleasure yourself in more areas than the penis, nipples or prostate... also, having dedicated masturbation time beyond just getting off as quickly as possible. if you don't want to think about it, the most common areas are the top of the head, earlobes, front of the neck along the adam's apple, the undersides of the forearm, outer sides of the torso, small of the back, the back and inner sides of the thighs, the perineum, the soles of the feet - basically for most any area that is sensitive or ticklish. tickling in and of itself can increase orgasmic response if you're close...

the use of controlled breathing - there are a variety of methods and preferences, from aggressive and quick, to slow or withheld... though most end up with something that sounds like lamaze

moaning - the more you give into moaning, exaggerating it, the better your orgasm may be... or with a sexual partner, your partner using moaning to physically stimulate you... from the so called hum job to rimming musicals up your derriere.. but like with the vagina, there are issues at both end to be concerned with from health risks for the giving partner - a risk of sti (including parasites) - though this can be minimized with the use of a dental dam - which some may use makeshift materials to make one but if lacking a dental dam, then slicing up a medical glove or a condom - a non-lubricated condom, you'd snip of the top and then cut lengthwise to get a sheet to place over the vagina or anus for oral stimulation - and for the receiving partner, aside from sti, by air getting trapped in the orifice.. which can have some health risks but often results in flutenance which may make them feel embarassed and mutually kill the mood.

the use of drugs, medications, chemicals (the most popular being poppers), 

edging (orgasm delay; though circumcision - which would require surgery, though there are devices to help train the foreskin to stay below the glans or help keep it there temporarily, with surgeries, there are a variety of 'cut' styles can help with this as well decreasing sensitivity to the penis), 

if circumcised, likewise, there are both surgical and non-surgical options for increasing sensitivity via foreskin restoration which also may intensify orgasm.

electro stimulation (not talking about vibration here - though vibration at multiple points can be effective - electro stimulation for pleasure tends to be focused either on the penis or the prostate with the use of tens unit - a transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation device)

just to name a few options... though there are some more exotic techniques though not all of them are necessarily erotic - think in way of alternative health and beauty spa for another example. though there are several.. again, variable to ones' interests, fetishes or kinks, and overall preferences.. experiment like an nt would. 

so much gear out there.... antiquated medical devices or water/lube (usually it's a mixture of water and lube) based pumps not those cheap knockoffs you find in sex toy stores. . . the true ones are like modernistic bongs of the 60s/70s, a globe (tho, usually dual plus a cylinder chamber) rather than a single cylinder. expensive but doubles as fine art you can leave out in common areas.


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

fatgurl said:


> If that's a real thing, I've never experienced it.
> Even if I stop right before orgasming, I don't feel overly uncomfortable. I can just forget about it and move on.
> Now, if I'm having sex with another person and this happens, I'm more annoyed than actually feeling discomfort.
> 
> I do not have multiple orgasms. That's too much work. After one, I'm tired/ sleepy and can't do anything else. I don't like being further stimulated after I've orgasmed. It kinda makes me mad, lol.


It is a real thing--I think it might be more common for men, but Idk.

It's so interesting how different everyone is from each other.


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

Thanks everyone for contributing to the thread. I think I figured out what I was trying to understand--so I appreciate everyone's contribution.

I'm going to close the thread now (by op request)


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