# Finding a fuck buddy: harder than it seems?



## Wartime Consigliere (Feb 8, 2011)

I strongly agree with both of these.



android654 said:


> You're missing the two vital components you need, people you're willing to fuck and friends. You need some kind of social circle with people available to choose from. Without that how do you expect to meet people you're willing to fuck and are willing to fuck you?





Orion said:


> Take a book and sit in a bar. Guys will approach, if they are boring just start reading your book and ignore them. Not exactly 'nice'...but such is the nature of the game.


^Guys at bars will likely treat you with respect trying to get into your pants anyway, though it could be exaggerated to a dishonest extent. For a fuck buddy though, I imagine this would be minimized because they _wouldn't need to_ do that to get sex. Start a conversation with an attractive stranger, then after a while when you've decided he isn't a creep (and clearly he likes you, or at least is considering the possibility of hooking up with you from the vibe/length of the conversation), ask bluntly if he wants sex. I doubt you'll get a no. The only thing I don't have advice for is ensuring he'd want to be a fuck buddy in future, though if you made it clear to him what you wanted, I don't see why not. People are different though, it could be terribly embarrassing sometimes, but at least you'll get the information you need.


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

carlaviii said:


> (nodding)
> 
> I use AshleyMadison. I have a vigorous filtering system: I require complete sentences, decent spelling, logical lines of thought, and signs that they actually read my profile.
> 
> I haven't met any creeps after about a year and a half... and some mind-blowing sex. Then again, I'm older and much less attractive. :tongue:


Thanks, it's very good to know that it's not all creeps out there.  Maybe in another few years I'll be brave enough to try that...


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## Siren (Jun 25, 2011)

I think the most important point is that a fuck buddy is usually a buddy first. Maybe I'm just strange but there needs to be a level of trust there. My one and only fuck buddy was this very cute guy that I didn't want a relationship with. He was a great friend but would have been a horrible boyfriend. The sex was great, but it was because we started as such good friends. So maybe that's not too helpful, but maybe start looking for a friend that you aren't afraid will become a romantic interest (and who won't want to become involved with you either).


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## pageofadiary (Jan 3, 2011)

Use OKCupid. Like all dating sites there are weirdos but I find once you sift through them on that site there are some decent guys. 

It even has the option to put you are looking for "Casual Sex". So you can put that on your profile and even do a "Match Search" to see who else is looking for "Casual Sex"


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## pageofadiary (Jan 3, 2011)

Siren said:


> I think the most important point is that a fuck buddy is usually a buddy first. Maybe I'm just strange but there needs to be a level of trust there. My one and only fuck buddy was this very cute guy that I didn't want a relationship with. He was a great friend but would have been a horrible boyfriend. The sex was great, but it was because we started as such good friends. So maybe that's not too helpful, but maybe start looking for a friend that you aren't afraid will become a romantic interest (and who won't want to become involved with you either).


Yup! I'm in the same boat. Not a great friend per say but we have no romantic interest for one another. We realized this after dating for a little while. We realized we both aren't romantically interested in each other but had great sexual chemistry. So far so very good.


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## pageofadiary (Jan 3, 2011)

carlaviii said:


> (nodding)
> 
> I use AshleyMadison. I have a vigorous filtering system: I require complete sentences, decent spelling, logical lines of thought, and signs that they actually read my profile.
> 
> I haven't met any creeps after about a year and a half... and some mind-blowing sex. Then again, I'm older and much less attractive. :tongue:



I've never heard of this site but interested to know where you meet when you decide to meetup for sex. Your place, theirs or a hotel? I've always wondered how others handled casual sex meetings with strangers since when I do it I usually know the person quite a bit.


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## Loyalgirl (Jan 10, 2011)

I am having the opposite problem LOL I want a relationship and I've had sooo many offers for fuck buddies and one night stands.

Okcupid is the best place. I have noticed that if you come across as wanting a relationship that scares guys off and then they start asking to be fuck buddies first, but when I say that I'm just looking for a cuddle buddy (I don't do one night stands or friends with benefits) thats when the guys get all attached  

Apparently they don't like pressure. So if you say you really want a relationship, and act very serious about it, you will likely get the reaction you want: guys just asking to be fuck buddies because they fear commitment. Try it!


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

Loyalgirl said:


> I am having the opposite problem LOL I want a relationship and I've had sooo many offers for fuck buddies and one night stands.
> 
> Okcupid is the best place. I have noticed that if you come across as wanting a relationship that scares guys off and then they start asking to be fuck buddies first, but when I say that I'm just looking for a cuddle buddy (I don't do one night stands or friends with benefits) thats when the guys get all attached
> 
> Apparently they don't like pressure. So if you say you really want a relationship, and act very serious about it, you will likely get the reaction you want: guys just asking to be fuck buddies because they fear commitment. Try it!


Woow, ok. Well I did put "looking for a short-term relationship" because I figured if I did casual sex I'd get more of what I already do (the obnoxious 30+ year old posers with magazine clippings as their pic talking to me in chatspeak and asking for my number).


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## chaoticbrain (May 5, 2012)

How do adults meet eachother in general ? I'm worried it's going to impossible to meet people once i'm out of high school.


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

chaoticbrain said:


> How do adults meet eachother in general ? I'm worried it's going to impossible to meet people once i'm out of high school.


It's not, you can usually meet people in bars, coffee shops, book stores, through work, through college, or through mutual interest groups. It is a lot easier to meet people in college than anywhere else though.


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## FlightsOfFancy (Dec 30, 2012)

carlaviii said:


> (nodding)
> 
> I use AshleyMadison. I have a vigorous filtering system: I *require complete sentences, decent spelling, logical lines of thought, and signs that they actually read my profile. *
> 
> I haven't met any creeps after about a year and a half... and some mind-blowing sex. Then again, I'm older and much less attractive. :tongue:


sounds like what Jeffery Dahmer did 

seriously...get into sexier talk. Think of them as objects because that's what they are for the moment. Given your ego (no offense), you probably wouldn't deem them worthy of you otherwise. 

Get onto like AFF, find a guy with a big dick and/or penchant for cunnilingus; meet somewhere public. Fuck and leave.


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

Haha I think I actually found the solution: I shortened my profile from two paragraphs to two sentences, and viola. xD


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## TWN (Feb 16, 2012)

Craigslist.

Best choice; cheapest too.


Sex-specific sites...

*Generally if you meet a guy on a fuck-site, he's looking to get laid repeatedly until that 59.99 membership fee has paid for itself in orgasms.*

*Thats no good because it becomes like a transaction; and you arent even getting paid.*

Ashley Madison...Dont do it. Its filled with married men that will treat you like shit, and hide you from their wives.

I like to fuck everywhere; I like to fuck in public. If a guy can screw me on _his _kitchen table in not interested.

And if you have a wife..I want to fuck her too. It's a no-go.


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## milti (Feb 8, 2012)

I stayed in a university campus for years... So... :tongue:
I honestly don't think there's a single straight guy in my friends' circle that hasn't seen me naked or made out with me.  Yeah... Fun times...

I'm currently staying at home with my parents. I have no hope for anything to happen till I move out again, lol.


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

devoid said:


> It is devoid of young people.


Ha, I chuckled!



> Most people I do talk to are so terribly boring that I can't imagine having any reason to want to meet them in person.


I think you're mixing something up here. That relates to a fuck buddy how exactly?


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## carlaviii (Jul 25, 2012)

pageofadiary said:


> I've never heard of this site but interested to know where you meet when you decide to meetup for sex. Your place, theirs or a hotel? I've always wondered how others handled casual sex meetings with strangers since when I do it I usually know the person quite a bit.


We always meet for coffee first. It's the only time you'll see me in a Starbucks. :happy:

If that goes well -- and, actually, half an hour of conversation will tell me pretty clearly how much we have in common -- then it's a hotel room. Always. 

I have a disposable hotmail account just for this. I don't give or ask for phone numbers. When we meet up, we talk about geeky, fun stuff, and not anything personal. Over time, little details leak out of course, but the boundaries are pretty clear. Neither of us is looking for a serious relationship.


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## carlaviii (Jul 25, 2012)

FlightsOfFancy said:


> sounds like what Jeffery Dahmer did
> 
> seriously...get into sexier talk. Think of them as objects because that's what they are for the moment. Given your ego (no offense), you probably wouldn't deem them worthy of you otherwise.


True, there is some risk involved here -- and that's half of why I reserve the right to be picky. If that comes across as egotistical... (shrugs) There's plenty more fish in the sea. 

The other half is because complete sentences, etc., matter to me. I'm not interested in fucking a guy I can't even communicate with.


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## CrystallineSheep (Jul 8, 2012)

Did you say..............BUBBLE BUDDY?!


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## Yardiff Bey (Jun 5, 2011)

Orion said:


> @_devoid_ so how many private messages have you received since you started this thread inquiring about your location?





devoid said:


> NONE! ;_; *bangs my head into desk*


For some reason, these two posts have made me laugh my ass off. XD Cruel of me.

Devoid, for a fuck-buddy you simply need to get out to bars more. It's easy to pick up a guy, your problem is finding a guy who gets past your filtering mechanism. IE you are still trying to filter WAY too fine.

Given that they're old/boring/whatever for you, you will either have to find someone younger and willing to drive 100+ miles for sex (stated prior and only young guys will bother with this shit) or deal with the fact that the guys available are older than you would normally fuck and just go and fuck one anyway. Regarding boring: you're wanting to be fucked senseless, not to have your mind tickled with conversations about astrophysics and the possible existance of God and the dichomy of why God allows Evil to exist and how Descartes was a what-the-fucking-ever.

Assuming that whoever you choose is clean and doesn't punch the shit out of you, you'll be onto a winner. Some guys (probably older ones) have experimented with things like becoming multiorgasmic, and the really switched-on ones make good and damn sure to give a girl multiple orgasms with cock and tongue and fingers. You might find yourself flirting with unconsciousness from too much pleasure.

Try to forget the "personality" and suchlike horseshit. You just want your rocks off, you're not looking for anything long-term. Find a guy you think is halfway decent-looking and have him rip into you, tell him that you want to be walking funny once he's done. Think sexy, be sexy, enjoy sexy - stuff the rest.

Good luck.


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## devoid (Jan 3, 2011)

Yardiff Bey said:


> For some reason, these two posts have made me laugh my ass off. XD Cruel of me.
> 
> Devoid, for a fuck-buddy you simply need to get out to bars more. It's easy to pick up a guy, your problem is finding a guy who gets past your filtering mechanism. IE you are still trying to filter WAY too fine.
> 
> ...


Nope, I'm afraid you might be confusing me with someone else. I've been getting hundreds of people visiting my page in the first two days, and dozens trying to hit me up - one is an astrophysicist, one is a neuroscience student, one is studying botany at my favorite garden/park, and quite a few artists and musicians. I happen to be highly aroused by intellect and stimulating conversation, and since it's only been a few days and I've already got about six people I find interesting within 30 miles I think it's safe to say I can be as picky as I damn please.  It will still take an annoying amount of effort to sort through them and find an ideal fuck buddy, but some of the previous advice on this thread will be very useful.


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