# A girl who bullied me at my last job just resurfaced at my current job.



## dark_angel (Oct 21, 2013)

I started my job at a restaurant almost 5 years ago. I got along with everyone until I encountered Liz. She made it clear she didn't like me from the moment we met and started being rude to me whenever I tried to talk to her. She talked to most other ppl tho except for 3 of us. She got away with viciously bullying me bc she's related to the then general manager. I couldn't take it, so I quit. 


Over the next 21 months, I interviewed with 20 different companies b4 getting a single offer in beginning of 2012. I'm still at my current job where everything is more fair. Liz or anybody woulda nvr gotten away with bullying me or anyone else here. And I really get along with everybody, even those who don't like me. I also made a BFF here. 


Thing is, yesterday, Liz resurfaced as a customer at the store while I was working and in my uniform. She gave me a dirty look and told her mom to stay away from me. I just wanted to die as I held back tears. Should I tell my supervisor today? This isn't the first time Liz resurfaced around town since I quit the restaurant job. And nobody ever listened or cared. My friends dropped me upon learning of Liz bullying me. Would my supervisor be different?


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## Lemxn (Aug 17, 2013)

That girl needs to grow up, for sure. I seriously don't understand that kind of people.

The thing is, she doesn't work in that place anymore, I mean, you could actually tell your supervisor but if she keeps returning as a customer they can't kick his ass our of there. Haters are everywhere, and we can't do anything about that.

Glad you made friends in this job and everythin it's more "fair", as you said. Focuss on that not on her.


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## dark_angel (Oct 21, 2013)

Yeah I kno. I'm not really looking for my supervisor to do anything as much as just simply listening. Everyone else either wouldn't listen or just pass negative judgement on me. Some even sided with Liz for the sake of long established friendship between them. My supervisor seems different from everyone else.


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## kindaconfused (Apr 30, 2010)

Why not just laugh at her? Why give her power over you? She is just an idiot with dumb opinions.


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

I'm glad you were persistent and able to rebuild and hold down this job you like for so long. Does Liz pose any real threat to you, or is it just all the bad memories that are hitting you so hard, and fear of losing something again?

If liz doesn't work with you and just happened to come in as a customer, and you think she might be a repeat customer and/or try to cause trouble for you, I would just notify your supervisor of the potential issue and ask that someone else on staff deals with Liz... not just to make things easier for you, but simply to prevent Liz from trying to create trouble for you. (If you are not the assigned personnel, then there is no interaction for her to complain about.)

Otherwise Liz has no actual power over you now but what you might give her.


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## dark_angel (Oct 21, 2013)

She didn't pose any real threat lol. I guess what prevented me from not giving her power is that ever since she bullied me, I never stopped feeling defective. As long as I never see her, I'm ok. Seeing her reminded me of how defective I am and how deserving I was of the bullying. I guess I just wanted my supervisor to help me with this.


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## Up and Away (Mar 5, 2011)

don't give details, just say that girl was really mean to me at my last job, i need a short break or something

tears are a part of life, nothing wrong with it


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## Everyday Ghoul (Aug 4, 2009)

I can relate to being bullied and just wanting someone to care, but quite honestly unless you have a personal connection with your supervisor, I might seek out a therapist instead. Being dismissed again would just do additional harm to you and that doesn't need to happen. And honestly, if that personal connection doesn't exist between you and your supervisor, they might dismiss you out of discomfort with that personal element being introduced into the relationship. It doesn't help much, but do know there are those of us out here who can relate and do feel for you. Sometimes all you really need is someone to care and it sucks massively when you don't have that, but if you find a good therapist (while not a friend), they can really help you feel validated and affirmed, just as much as a friend. In your case, like my own, better than a friend or family member.


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## dark_angel (Oct 21, 2013)

Thx. I went to my supervisor yesterday morning and it helped tremendously. She really was different from everyone else. She was the first person to listen to me. Now I could definitely let this go.

Btw, what do u mean by dismissed? Like canned?


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## Maegamikko (Sep 5, 2013)

roundhouse kick her in the face until she dies


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## FreedomTickler (Sep 16, 2012)

123itsmarie said:


> roundhouse kick her in the face until she dies


This.


But in all seriousness, good job on speaking to your supervisor about it. If Liz does continue to show up to be a jerk, given that your supervisor knows, any sort of reactions or what have you that may come out of the situation, or any sort of bumps in your working day will be justified, because your supervisor will know the root cause. 

Plus, if she actively starts to bully you, and you have witnesses, I think that may be grounds for her to be not allowed to return, wouldn't it? Or at least for your staff to know that's a genuine problem and to better support you with it. 

In any case, good luck.


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## Zombie Devil Duckie (Apr 11, 2012)

123itsmarie said:


> roundhouse kick her in the face until she dies


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## Acerbusvenator (Apr 12, 2011)

She holds no power over you when you work there and she's just a customer. You just need to convince yourself of that.
Harassment (and bullying I believe) is also a criminal offense, so if she does it where you work and other people see it, you could report it to the police. You could if you're a bad-ass also walk up to her if she does it again and tell her that she has repeatedly harassed you and there's been many witnesses of these harassments and you will report it to the police if she doesn't stop immediately.

(In case this comes up as a concern)
Difference between Ultimatum, Threat, Blackmail vs Extortion
(Telling her that if she doesn't stop, you'll involve the police is an ultimatum and it is not illegal to make.)


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## 66393 (Oct 17, 2013)

Fuck Liz lol. You could talk to your manager about her harassing you if she comes in frequently as a customer, possibly get her banned. Not sure how understanding your manager will be. I agree with who said to roundhouse kick her, this girl needs to get decked.


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## yet another intj (Feb 10, 2013)

dark_angel said:


> I started my job at a restaurant almost 5 years ago. I got along with everyone until I encountered Liz. She made it clear she didn't like me from the moment we met and started being rude to me whenever I tried to talk to her.


Whenever? Never try to ambitiously talk with a person if he/she is constantly rude. That creates the illusion of submission. Some people are capable of appreciating your efforts to reach them and some others are conventional assholes.



dark_angel said:


> She talked to most other ppl tho except for 3 of us. She got away with viciously bullying me bc she's related to the then general manager. I couldn't take it, so I quit.


Fair enough.



dark_angel said:


> Over the next 21 months, I interviewed with 20 different companies b4 getting a single offer in beginning of 2012. I'm still at my current job where everything is more fair. Liz or anybody woulda nvr gotten away with bullying me or anyone else here. And I really get along with everybody, even those who don't like me. I also made a BFF here.


Unfortunately, I have to say that you are doing it wrong.

"_I'm still at my current job where everything is more fair. Liz or anybody woulda nvr gotten away with bullying me or anyone else here._"

It's nothing but "a job". Conditions, policies and figures (or the attitudes of those figures) can change beyond your control. It's not a religious cult or a primitive tribe. No one is indispensable and there's always room for exceptions.

"_And I really get along with everybody, even those who don't like me. I also made a BFF here._"

Easy come, easy go. They are nothing but "friends" and taking care of yourself is still your own responsibility.



dark_angel said:


> Thing is, yesterday, Liz resurfaced as a customer at the store while I was working and in my uniform. She gave me a dirty look and told her mom to stay away from me. I just wanted to die as I held back tears.


Why? Did you feel insulted because you are wearing an uniform? She's an asshole and you are trying to earn your living with a noble profession... Chin up! Nobody can respect you, unless you learn to respect yourself. By the way, some people will never respect you and it's nothing but their own decision.



dark_angel said:


> Should I tell my supervisor today?


If that will make things harder for Liz... Sure! Just don't see that as some kind of magic wand. Your supervisor can surprise you or the things can unfold beyond your expectations. Trust yourself... And... Try everything that can ruin her day for your own entertainment. Tactical and strategic maneuvers have dramatically different dynamics. You should know that's a tactical move, not a strategy.



dark_angel said:


> This isn't the first time Liz resurfaced around town since I quit the restaurant job. And nobody ever listened or cared. My friends dropped me upon learning of Liz bullying me.


You should start playing Sudden Strike.



dark_angel said:


> Would my supervisor be different?


Tactical maneuvers requires good timing and strategies requires unconditional patience. Act immediately with practical contingency plans, instead of thinking too much... You know, the window of opportunity. Sometimes, you have to roll the dice. Possibilities are neutral as what they are. They are your enemies if you are slow and they can be your friends if you are quick enough.


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## FakeLefty (Aug 19, 2013)

Seems like she's just being an asshole (there's really not much that's complex about her actions. She's just being a simple asshole). I suppose one method is to talk to your supervisor, but another method is to just flat out confront her. It may be difficult, but she seems to continue the bullying because she has the perception that you're not gonna do anything about it.


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## OutOfThisWorld (Nov 4, 2013)

Bullies only have power when you give it to them.

I was bullied once when I was a kid. Then I actually spoke to someone of authority and they did something about it. 

She may be a customer, but if she's continually harassing you, you can tell her to her face to buzz off or you'll call the cops on her.


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## Falling Leaves (Aug 18, 2011)

There's one thing you have to remember about bullies: more often than not, they have their own serious issues to contend with, sometimes much worse than the hell they give you. Sadly, extremely unpleasant people can arise from dire circumstances. At the very least, it sounds like Liz has coasted through her life with nobody giving her the necessary behavior check - if I found my kid was still bullying as an adult, I'd call them in and whoop their asses red (nevermind starting disciplinary procedures at work). 

To be honest, I don't anticipate her coming into the store again, much less making a point of singling you out. You were right to tell your supervisor however - if she does happen to come in frequently to start shit, that's harassment. Also, your supervisor is now wise to her, so if Liz comes in and starts making up complaints, (s)he can silently dismiss them. 

If it escalates, I don't think having her banned from the store, or taking police action for harassment, is out of the question. I'm really sorry to hear about your friends dropping you for being bullied - at least you now know those sacks of whit weren't worth your time anyhow.


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## dark_angel (Oct 21, 2013)

Thx everyone. I'm slowly getting over it. Occasionally tho, I get jealous of those who never been bullied. I read that 1 out of 5 ppl of all ages had. That leaves me jealous of 80% of the population, particularly ppl I know. I was also bullied in college. I graduated high school in January 2007, a semester early. Then I moved to my current state where I enrolled in college while simultaneously working. It was spring '08 that Jaclyn bullied me all semester. She rudely brushed off my attempts to talk to her, including where I introduced myself. Then she told others not to talk to me whenever I tried to join in her conversation. 

One day, she said something cruel and I couldn't take it. While driving home from campus, I got into an accident as a direct result of bullying. I never drove solo again. Recently, I heard new stuff about her, that her folks are made of money. No wonder she had an inflated ego and associated only with popular ppl. She even bullied a guy named Trevor and blocked him on FB to spite him. And my friend Emilyn also got snubbed in Jaclyn's presence.

i quit school may '08 and never returned. I guess the new stuff I heard recently set me back and caused my jealousy of others.


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## Kysinor (Mar 19, 2009)

I've been bullied all my life. Sometimes... I even get friends can bully me :S


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