# Do you guys feel like Insiders?



## Killionaire (Oct 13, 2009)

We rare types, such as INTJ's and INFJ's, feel like outsiders who are very different from other people and we feel alienated from society and we don't know why this is until we learn about MBTI. Most of us didn't meet anyone like ourselves until we discovered MBTI forums. 

How does it feel to be one of the highly represented types? Do you feel like you belong? Have you always felt normal and well-integrated into society? Were you comfortable with the majority of other people's behavior? Were you able to easily relate to many people?


----------



## EchoEnola (Oct 28, 2014)

Oooh, I'm also very interested to know.


----------



## aendern (Dec 28, 2013)

Oh I have nothing useful to contribute but my sister is an ENFP, which is a type that is well-represented for females. And she has always fit in. And always had more friends than I had acquaintances XD.


----------



## JTHearts (Aug 6, 2013)

No, I'm ESFJ but I'm very abnormal and I dislike myself a lot. I feel like I don't belong and I never will. I am able to relate to lots of people though.


----------



## Gentleman (Jun 14, 2014)

Absolutely not. I'm an eccentric shut-in. I've never felt like I "fit in". I haven't had a friend since elementary school. I relate to very few people.


----------



## niss (Apr 25, 2010)

YamahaMotors said:


> We rare types, such as INTJ's and INFJ's, feel like outsiders who are very different from other people and we feel alienated from society and we don't know why this is until we learn about MBTI. Most of us didn't meet anyone like ourselves until we discovered MBTI forums.
> 
> How does it feel to be one of the highly represented types? Do you feel like you belong? Have you always felt normal and well-integrated into society? Were you comfortable with the majority of other people's behavior? Were you able to easily relate to many people?


No different than one of the other types.

No.

No.

No.

No.


----------



## General Lee Awesome (Sep 28, 2014)

yes i fit in very well, but it all really depends where i am at, but in general yes. but i tend not to make friends, just acquaintances. i have a very good ISTJ friend who i worked with as well. yes my coworkers found him to be weird and shut in. he barely talked and just worked very hard. but really though, he is awesome.


----------



## jcal (Oct 31, 2013)

_How does it feel to be one of the highly represented types? _It sure never felt like I was... nor does it feel that way now at the ripe old age of 58. I know many other SJs, but none of them are very similar to me, and they really aren't very similar to each other, either.​ 
_Do you feel like you belong? _Yes and no. I was a peripheral member of several diverse groups back in HS... I could fit in with the academic nerds, the band geeks, the jocks or the gearheads... but I never felt like I was a core member of any of those groups. Probably more to do with being an introvert than anything else. ​ 
Have you always felt normal and well-integrated into society?No... it's actually quite a recent discovery that there are ANY other people with similar thought processes and outlooks/attitudes.​ 
Were you comfortable with the majority of other people's behavior?No, not really. It's always been a struggle to understand why people behave the way they do, especially when they exhibit inconsistent behavior. ​ 
Were you able to easily relate to many people?NO!!!​


----------



## AutumnRose (Sep 4, 2014)

Nope! I've spent a lot of time trying to find people that actually get me, though that has I actually gotten better as time has gone on. Most of my friends who do get me to some degree are still not of my temperament -- I actually know very few SJ's. On the other hand, I am pretty good at figuring out what social norms are, so even though I don't feel particularly "gotten" by a lot of people, I do feel like I am able to blend in pretty well.


----------



## General Lee Awesome (Sep 28, 2014)

no cuz im ponyboy !


----------



## niss (Apr 25, 2010)

johnson.han.3 said:


> no cuz im ponyboy !


I like Ponyboy the best, but alas, I'm Darry.



> *Nothing Gold Can Stay*
> 
> Nature's first green is gold,
> Her hardest hue to hold.
> ...


----------



## dragthewaters (Feb 9, 2013)

So PerC is just a forum of social outcasts?

...actually that makes a lot of sense.


----------



## General Lee Awesome (Sep 28, 2014)

thismustbetheplace said:


> So PerC is just a forum of social outcasts?
> 
> ...actually that makes a lot of sense.


lol. one of us, one of us, one of us


----------



## Kyora (Mar 17, 2013)

*How does it feel to be one of the highly represented types?* 

Well I've never felt like I had a highly represented type x) I'm a ISFJ and it should be highly represented yet everyone I meet is ether a ENFP or a ENTP... 

*Do you feel like you belong? *

Not really ^^' My friends say I'm strange but in a good way. At university, I've never felt 'in' since I'm extremely different from my classmates, don't really go out, I like mangas, I don't criticise other people, nor am I sleeping woth lots of guys and don't really have the same hobby as the others ^^' I feel actually like a outsider at university and only met some people who were different from the rest ^^ (ENFP, ENTP, xNTJ)


*Have you always felt normal and well-integrated into society?* 

Not really... I'm kind of wondering (because of your question x)) of I really am a ISFJ but the cognitive functions works so should be 

*Were you comfortable with the majority of other people's behavior?* 

no idea...

*Were you able to easily relate to many people?*

hum don't know, I would say yes but not sure.


----------



## Mammon (Jul 12, 2012)

I have pretty severe self esteem issues, and I wasn't really aware it was so severe until one faithful day.

NO, I don't feel like a fcking insider. Also, this:


----------



## Dangerose (Sep 30, 2014)

*How does it feel to be one of the highly represented types? *
I don't know. I never would have guessed my type was so common. If I had a comparison point maybe I would feel like I am on the same wavelength as other people more than other types, but it's hard to tell...
*Do you feel like you belong? *
More so where I am now, but all throughout my childhood I felt like a perpetual foreigner. Partly though that was due to spending a lot of my life being a foreigner though 
*Have you always felt normal and well-integrated into society?*
No. I have always been the one on the sidelines, wishing people would invite me to be part of the group, but afraid I was too different for inclusion.
* Were you comfortable with the majority of other people's behavior? *
Yeah I guess. I mean there's little things but on the whole, yeah.
*Were you able to easily relate to many people? *
Yes. It took me a bit before I got over the childish assumption that everyone but me had everything together and was totally confident in who they were, but when I realized we were on the same level I was able to understand people and really empathize with them. I'm not sure if I necessarily 'related' to people like 'oooh they think like me they get me we're made of the same fabric' . . . it's always an unexpected surprise to find people like that.


----------



## Dangerose (Sep 30, 2014)

YamahaMotors said:


> We rare types, such as INTJ's and INFJ's, feel like outsiders who are very different from other people and we feel alienated from society and we don't know why this is until we learn about MBTI. Most of us didn't meet anyone like ourselves until we discovered MBTI forums.
> 
> How does it feel to be one of the highly represented types? Do you feel like you belong? Have you always felt normal and well-integrated into society? Were you comfortable with the majority of other people's behavior? Were you able to easily relate to many people?


I think people don't realize how much other people don't feel like they belong. I remember when I was a little kid, watching everyone play on the playground, and I was so amazed like, "Wow they all know exactly what they're supposed to be doing . . . guess I'm the only weirdo who didn't get the memo on playground protocol". Obviously, that was not the case. Likewise, I was totally shocked when my INFP friend told me that before we were friends, she thought I was one of the cool kids (oh and how quickly the tables turned)) and was surprised when I started talking to her because I was in the 'in group' and she was an 'outsider'. But in fact I was not part of the in group, it just looked like that from her perspective.


----------



## Deadly Decorum (Feb 23, 2014)

AutumnRose said:


> Nope! I've spent a lot of time trying to find people that actually get me, though that has I actually gotten better as time has gone on. Most of my friends who do get me to some degree are still not of my temperament -- I actually know very few SJ's. On the other hand, I am pretty good at figuring out what social norms are, so even though I don't feel particularly "gotten" by a lot of people, I do feel like I am able to blend in pretty well.


So you're pretty good at blending in?

I try, because in some contexts it's imperative. You're not going to be accepted or fit in or be liked if you're yourself all the time. And you're not going to get a job or impress teachers if you're 100 percent honest. I know adopting social skills helps achieve advantages. It helps you gain friends, opportunities, experiences. Growing up I was painfully awkward, diagnosed with several disorders, and bullied, and it hurt my feelings, so I learned to blend it because I realized the advantages it reaped and despised being misunderstood, but even now sometimes that mask slips and I'll "be myself". Can you relate to that? 

Did you always understand social norms? I barely knew they were a thing until they were pointed out, but I can read and get vibes about people very distinctively. And I still prefer to be alone, because that way I don't have to waste all this energy being someone else. I want to give others what they want, but it's so effing exhausting. My fuse burns out eventually. I feel better being myself, but unfortunately, that doesn't always work, and you gotta cave.


----------



## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

Oswin said:


> I think people don't realize how much other people don't feel like they belong. I remember when I was a little kid, watching everyone play on the playground, and I was so amazed like, "Wow they all know exactly what they're supposed to be doing . . . guess I'm the only weirdo who didn't get the memo on playground protocol". Obviously, that was not the case. Likewise, I was totally shocked when my INFP friend told me that before we were friends, she thought I was one of the cool kids (oh and how quickly the tables turned)) and was surprised when I started talking to her because I was in the 'in group' and she was an 'outsider'. But in fact I was not part of the in group, it just looked like that from her perspective.


I think when I was little, I saw a playground and totally forgot there were other kids there. I saw this structure begging to be climbed. Other kids? What other kids?


----------



## inregardstomyself (Mar 21, 2014)

YamahaMotors said:


> We rare types, such as INTJ's and INFJ's, feel like outsiders who are very different from other people and we feel alienated from society and we don't know why this is until we learn about MBTI. Most of us didn't meet anyone like ourselves until we discovered MBTI forums.
> 
> How does it feel to be one of the highly represented types? Do you feel like you belong? Have you always felt normal and well-integrated into society? Were you comfortable with the majority of other people's behavior? Were you able to easily relate to many people?


You know it's funny, I keep hearing how ESFJs are the popular prom queens (I actually was prom queen but besides the point). It really wasn't until...this summer actually that I started to feel like a normal person. I'd always felt like an outsider, like I never belonged. I felt like everything I said, did, or felt was just wrong, and like I was somehow missing some fundamental aspect of human nature that everybody else seemed to naturally get. Even later in high school, when people started to like me more, I felt like it was so superficial. I thought, if they really knew me, they'd know just how out of place and weird I really am (they really only liked me because I knew how to be presentable. I spent my whole life making the "perfect image"). It wasn't until this summer that I just stopped caring. I'm pretty sure I'm just as weird and as much on the "outside" as ever, but now I don't care anymore. I'm letting my freak flag fly high and making people accept me anyway.


----------

