# 27, ENTP, Male Virgin. No Girlfriend, a couple good old friends. Intimacy Issues?



## Molock (Mar 10, 2010)

skycloud86 said:


> you need to stop seeing your lack of experience as a problem, in my opinion.


This. Worrying about your lack of experience is self-sabotage.


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## tskim (Mar 2, 2010)

You need to calm down and wait and not rush into it. When you least expect it, thats where it comes, trust me.

I didnt think youd need tactics or techniques to find the person for you, I personally think that's lame. :dry: Try a much different approach that you know will attract whoever it is that you're talking to. Also, you're coming off a bit desperate, you might not want to make that obvious. You can only attract people if they see the qualities that they look for in a person are in you and you need to let that be known to them or otherwise youre stuck with this same problem and its going to keep happening until you stop looking for answers and youve given up, thats when it happens.


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## compgeni (Sep 9, 2010)

Thanks for the translation Goodewitch! That makes more sense. And yes, I know he is not very happy. He has said so. Yet, he still is able to attract people like a magnet..::shrugs::




> I don't think flirting is your issue. Guys don't really need to flirt. Just indicate interest. And indicate it in such a way that she won't be able to mistake it for anything else. Ask her some questions about herself. What does she like? What does she do on her free time? Does she have any pets? What music does she like listening to? Get a feel for what her interests are. Buy tickets to some event you think she's like, and then ask if she would like to come with you. Buy her flowers on Valentine's day. Do something that she cannot miss. Then if you get rejected oh well.
> 
> I know ENTPs like leaving things hanging in the air and have all as many possibilities open as possible. But if you don't commit yourself to other people and demonstrate interest, then other people won't commit to you.


So this is how you communicate interest? OK. I understand not everyone will want to talk to me, but I keep trying. I'm trying to grow socially, personally. It's not just about women it's about life, social life, career aspirations. I can have a hard time making friends. Probibly becouse I NEVER CALL THEM. That explains why I get the desperate people in my life, becouse THEY CALL ME. I think to myself, hmm,' shoudl I call him, what would I say'...




> If your the type to be shy in approaching in person, then do it online.


I absolutely hate online. I barely have 30 friends on my facebook page. I'm never on it. I dont have anything to say on there. I'm MUCH better in person. Where I can feel the pressure and drown in it, or occasionally thrive and have a blast!


Thanks for the words of advice and encouragement folks. I'll get this handled.


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

scarygirl said:


> Maybe you're not so extroverted after all.
> I think sometimes we give an extra importance to how experienced we are. What matters is having sexual confidence. Like someone said before, you need to stop worrying about your lack of experience. It's better that it takes more time but you finally do it well and be happy than any other thing, maybe. Anyway, maybe you should go look for a partner if you really want one.
> A turn off? well, I don't know. I'm a virgin (but I'm younger than you) and the person I'm with doesn't find it a turn off at all.
> Maybe you don't go with the right girls, which is what I thought really from the first paragraph. Maybe the girls you go with can't find what a hot guy you are. I'm an INFP and I rarely get any text back too from people, and it's hard for me to be understood by people, something that doesn't give me a problem but at times I feel bad, okay. Don't worry. Just keep those desires alive, and wait, and most important of all, have fun in your quest. If you don't, you'd better shoot yourself.
> ...


I don't think that this post really helps. Being a woman virgin is pretty much always a turn on. :wink:



> Well, I woudn't want to scare the girl. When I find myself in another position to do that. I must might. I know how important it is to lead or be dominant or whatnot. It's an inherent contradiction. I've thought about going to Nevada to a brothel and saying 'teach me'.. ha.


lol, scare the girl? She might find it odd that you are a virgin, but it's not telling a girl that you a have a deep love for serial killing, lol. In fact, it might turn her on.


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## dagnytaggart (Jun 6, 2010)

compgeni said:


> Well. I'm on a course to change my life.
> 
> I'm a 27 year old virgin. I've never even kissed a girl. I'm supposed to be an ENTP which is fun, witty, charming. And I have my moments when that is out and about, but most of the time not.
> 
> ...


WTF? Sure you're not an INTP?

I lost my virginity to myself.
Then again at 14 to a tampon.
Then again at 15 to a guy with the intelligence of a tampon.

Go to bars, approach women near closing when they're passed out or nearly so. Get laid.


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

> I lost my virginity to myself.
> Then again at 14 to a tampon.
> Then again at 15 to a guy with the intelligence of a tampon.


OMG, you have refillable virginity!


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## dagnytaggart (Jun 6, 2010)

Lara Croft said:


> OMG, you have refillable virginity!


No, it's just that I always find what I lose.

I plan to go on a clothes-diet this weekend though, so I hopefully I'll lose my virginity again.


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

> No, it's just that I always find what I lose.


Oh I get you. So you just know where to look for your virginity. What does your virginity look like?


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## dagnytaggart (Jun 6, 2010)

Lara Croft said:


> Oh I get you. So you just know where to look for your virginity. What does your virginity look like?












YOU CAN'T TAKE IT. It's in immaculate condition.


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## RobinsonCrusoe (Nov 25, 2009)

I have a foolproof process for you.

1. make a list of at least 100 girls you know. their moms are fair game too.
2. call each one.
3. ask each if they'd like to have sex. be cool and casual. remember that sex isn't a big deal, just something fun we like to do. 
4. at least 1 of them will say yes.

it's all simply a numbers game. if you call 10 girls, you will get 0 positive responses. 100 girls, maybe a nibble here and there. 1000, and you may have just lined up 5 fuck buddies for the week. the more you call, the better your odds that you will find somebody who vaguely remembers you, knows that you're not an axe murderer, and happened to be really horny and sexually frustrated when you just "happened" to call. 

how else do you think all our dads got laid pre-internet-era? duh.


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## JoetheBull (Apr 29, 2010)

RobinsonCrusoe said:


> I have a foolproof process for you.
> 
> 1. make a list of at least 100 girls you know. their moms are fair game too.
> 2. call each one.
> ...


Sounds like to much work for nothing. And I think the OP's goal isn't just to get laid. If it was better off getting a prostitute(I don't really recommend going down this path either way) then waste his and everyone else time asking directly for sex. Even thought the Numbers game makes kind of sense there is still the probability of getting rejected 100 times out of 100. In my opinion at least


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

I'd go for internet dating. Otherwise, do a "mail order" bride if you need companionship desperately.


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## U-80 (Mar 12, 2010)

In my experience, men who can't get girlfriends have only one problem: their standards are too high. They delude themselves into thinking they should be with a pretty girl even though they are not equivalently handsome. And then they act all surprised when the pretty girls don't want to go out with them. 

Look at yourself in the mirror and judge objectively what kind of girl would find you attractive. Chances are she's never been on the cover of a magazine.


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## dagnytaggart (Jun 6, 2010)

rousse said:


> In my experience, men who can't get girlfriends have only one problem: their standards are too high. They delude themselves into thinking they should be with a pretty girl even though they are not equivalently handsome. And then they act all surprised when the pretty girls don't want to go out with them.
> 
> Look at yourself in the mirror and judge objectively what kind of girl would find you attractive. Chances are she's never been on the cover of a magazine.


Actually I do have to agree with this. I've got two different male friends who complain all the time about being single, but then they dog women who show interest in them just because they don't look like blowup dolls.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

rousse said:


> In my experience, men who can't get girlfriends have only one problem: their standards are too high. They delude themselves into thinking they should be with a pretty girl even though they are not equivalently handsome. And then they act all surprised when the pretty girls don't want to go out with them.
> 
> Look at yourself in the mirror and judge objectively what kind of girl would find you attractive. Chances are she's never been on the cover of a magazine.


I personally can't get a girlfriend because I'm very introverted, not because my standards are too high. Course, I'm not currently looking for a relationship so maybe it's different for men who are.


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## compgeni (Sep 9, 2010)

Well, I've been trying to loosed up. I've got a date tomorrow and am going to have one objective. Have fun, Get to know her. THATS IT. 

If my brand of fun is taking her arm in arm a skipping down the sidewalk with a serious conversation, then so be it!

I REALLY want to learn to loosen up.

There is a guy in my class, who is SO MAGNETIC TO WOMEN. I have him and two girls, plus myself in my group project. He just flerts and flerts and flerts. Even the girl behind him likes him. I'm like...WTF, how did he do that. I'm setting there being the "bad" guy trying to get the group on track. I've never in the past been able to flirt like him. I'd like to. woah..... Of cource, I don't know anything about drugs or alcohol, which is what they talk about sometimes.. ::shrugs::

Thank you for your tips and help guys!

And yes, it's not just about getting laid, but I would be lying if that was not fairly high on the top 10 list of things to do.


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## reyesaaronringo (Dec 27, 2009)

i'm sure that at 27 you have some idea about what women like; they want someone who has things going forthemselves. do you? what profession are you in? how many friends do you have? do you workout? how well do you groom yourself? you've got to play the game IMHO. help evolution do its job, or else it WILL do its job.

good luck.


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## Thrifty Walrus (Jul 8, 2010)

You won't get a girl until you don't want one. That pretty much goes for everything in life, life is pretty fucked up that way >.>


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## RobinsonCrusoe (Nov 25, 2009)

compgeni said:


> If my brand of fun is taking her arm in arm a skipping down the sidewalk with a serious conversation, then so be it!


I swear to God if you do this, I will reach my boot through this computer screen and kick you in the face.

your brand of fun should be making out with her. Not turning into her goddamn girlfriend.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

RobinsonCrusoe said:


> I swear to God if you do this, I will reach my boot through this computer screen and kick you in the face.
> 
> your brand of fun should be making out with her. Not turning into her goddamn girlfriend.


Wow, who called the gender police?

That would be YOUR brand of fun, not his. What does it matter to you that he would do that?


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