# ENFJ fear?



## DJArendee (Nov 27, 2009)

Very often in my life, my ENFJ friends have been trying to change me or give me advice on how to be more presentable. I've always sorta ignored them for it, and they've always come back for more, regardless of how embarrassing I am to them.

One of my best friends would always say things like, "what are you wearing?" and would give me a look of disapproval.

So I was watching this movie, "dinner with schmucks" and noticed it had zack galifinakis (spelling), an ISTP comedian. It also stars steve carrell and paul rudd (both possible ENFJ?). 

I knew the writer of the movie had to be an ENFJ, because its awkward comedy as almost always comes out of Steve Carrell and Paul Rudd, which I attribute to ENFJ.

The movie symbolizes how ENFJ worrying about what others think of them, and overcoming that fear. While the characters in the movie are obviously ridiculous and there is a practical need for Paul Rudd to worry about how he looks to others, the truth of the matter is, life doesn't always play out that way.

I've come to the realization that ENFJ view me much the same way the "upper class" characters in this dinner scene view the "lower class" ISTP's and their absurd talents. Often times when an ISTP refers to an ENFJ with a "holier than thou aura," its because we ISTP's can sense that the ENFJ views us in a manner as illustrated in this clip, as well as the rest of the movie.






So my question is, in my quest to date another fantastic ENFJ, what aspects do they find most attractive about me, and is it possible for me to get them to get over themselves? To push them over that edge to open up, much the same way my ENFJ best friends forced me to open up to them? As the game usually plays out, The ISTP will be much more willing to admit to its flaws, because its flaws are matters of the heart and relationship building. ENFJ, however, can still maintain relationships without having to ever face their fear (or so it seems, maybe their flaws seem trivial to me because of my dominant Ti?). So the ball is in the ISTP's court to get the ENFJ to open up and allow themselves to wade knee deep on the shore of "hobo'dom".


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## DJArendee (Nov 27, 2009)

For some reason I can't edit the blog. But I wanted to add that, yes, I do make an effort to be more "classy," but its usually not enough. For example, this new years, an ENFJ guy, part of our new years wolf pack, asked me "are you guys going to wear ties or something?" as I was sitting on the bed wearing cargo shorts and under armor t-shirt before going out. He wanted me to wear a sports jacket and all that stuff. I took another route and went with black fireman style pants, epaullette (not the tassel kind) collared shirt and hiking boots. He didn't give his opinion of my choice in clothing but we were best friends by the end of the night anyhow, so, no matter. It was my attempt to say "screw your classy style, I do what I want" but still meet him halfway in making an attempt to look impressive in my own sense.

I suppose this is the best route for me to take?


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