# Please describe your ideal mate



## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

Hello everyone,

I recently a created a thread in the Enneagram 8 sub-forum inviting fellow eights to describe their ideal mates, which qualities they seek and which traits they find unacceptable in a significant other. I noticed that the thread had a very specific focus (on enneagram eights alone), so I'd like to broaden it by creating a thread that's open to other types as well. Please feel free to also describe what you would consider an ideal relationship. If you are comfortable, please share your age in the post. 

I don't want to create a thread that's a near duplicate, so I'd ask the moderator/s to decide what they'd like to do with the thread in the Enneagram 8 section. 
Thank you:happy:


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

I'm 17...
Basically what our ideal mate for us is? Or what we find attractive? Or both? 

-Responsive, but not emotionally overbearing.
-Not passive, but not domineering either. Just someone who's willing to share power.
-Someone who has some degree of structure.
-Driven and ambitious.
-Is intellectually curious and likes to have intellectual discussions. 
-Interesting and not completely easy to read.
-Has a creative mind.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

Paranoid Android said:


> I'm 17...
> Basically what our ideal mate for us is? Or what we find attractive? Or both?
> 
> -Responsive, but not emotionally overbearing.
> ...


To answer your question, I'd say both. I would think your ideal mate would be one you find attractive because of their overall personality. I am assuming that by attractive you don't mean physically attractive alone. What would your ideal relationship look like?


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

hazelwitch said:


> To answer your question, I'd say both. I would think your ideal mate would be one you find attractive because of their overall personality. I am assuming that by attractive you don't mean physically attractive alone.


Ah, I may not have been clear enough. I was mainly making a distinction between what traits we think might be best overall for us and which personality traits just attract us.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

Paranoid Android said:


> Ah, I may not have been clear enough. I was mainly making a distinction between what traits we think might be best overall for us and which personality traits just attract us.


Oh, alright. I haven't thought about that distinction in the past, which may have lead me to misinterpret your reply. My question is more geared towards which traits you think are best overall and most conducive to the success of a relationship, in your opinion. The traits I find attractive are the same as the ones I find complementary, healthy etc.


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## perennialurker (Oct 1, 2009)

I could list more for myself, but I'd only be guessing about how widely appreciated these are among all 5's. 

In my personal experience and in discussions with other 5's, I'd say that we are fairly universally looking for the following:

*Intellectually stimulation*- all smart people want this, but for someone whose entire existance centers around thought, this is truly essential for any real happiness for 5's

*Trustworthiness/Reliability*- we are emotionally challenged in some ways and easy to hurt from those we care about, in order for us to even open up we have to be able to trust them

*Emotional stability*- see above; I think all 5's abhor drama, we honestly don't understand it and it frightens us, you don't have to be a robot, but please don't be crazy

*Directness*- do not expect a 5 to be able to read your mind or pick up on subtle hints, so if you expect this you are bound to be disappointed. Just tell us what you want, if we care about you, we will amaze you by how far we will go for you

*Space*- Do not try to compete with our academic interest! All 5's have to study and learn to feel safe, we will be happy to tend to your needs, but you must also give us time to pursue our research interests passionately

*Respect our intellect*- at least try to learn enough about our personal subjects of interest so that you can understand our profound discoveries; it is usually a 5's deepest desire to share their inner worlds with someone they can trust


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

perennialurker said:


> I could list more for myself, but I'd only be guessing about how widely appreciated these are among all 5's.
> 
> In my personal experience and in discussions with other 5's, I'd say that we are fairly universally looking for the following:
> 
> ...


Thanks for the reply. My question is directed at individual posters, and you don't really need to worry about providing a list of characteristics that fives would appreciate, generally speaking. Please feel free to personalize your post and share more about your own expectations since you have left some out.


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## jbking (Jun 4, 2010)

*Well....*

I'm 35 years old and here would be my lists:

What I'd want:
Compatible faith - Given my Christian leanings, what faith does she have that works well with this so we both benefit.
Compatible sense of humor - Similar to faith only in this case what we find funny. For example, if profanity freaks her out that wouldn't work as I enjoy various foul language-filled humor like George Carlin.
Health conscious but not fanatical - Given my health issues, I'd like someone that can relate but also wants to do better than where she is now.
Values - To what extent do ideals like honor, justice, intelligence, responsibility and mercy appeal to her?
Aware of her wants, needs and what she'd give - This is the flip of what I need, want and would give in a relationship which isn't to be completely known but should be somewhat worked on to some degree.
Compassionate/Empathy - Someone that can handle the emotional sensitivity that I have which could be troublesome in some ways as I do cry easily and tend to show emotion almost too well.
Compatible political views - While I'm libertarian, I'm not sure that just any ol' political view would mesh with this well.
Moderation - most traits shouldn't be either extreme as I tend to not be either extreme in a lot of things and thus this could be an important point.

Deal breakers:
Must be a non-smoker. My mother was a smoker and died from cancer and while she was alive I developed a near allergy to smoke so it doesn't sit well with me.
No illegal drugs. Similar to the smoking but in this case applying to current laws.
Female.

Now, I'd add the caveat that as my relationship skills are still a work in progress I'm not quite ready for her to walk in the door and be, "Here, I'm your ideal mate," as that would just be too weird for me at the moment.


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## Quelzalcoatl (Dec 6, 2010)

I'm twenty-one years old.

- Physical closeness is an issue; no needy hugs et cetera.
- No uncomfortable talk about emotions.
- The ability to maintain a steady conversation or exchange of theories at whatever topic comes to mind, or however the topics flow naturally.
- Silent time is okay.
- Going to social events once in blue moon is fine, but if you start dragging me to a pub every weekend, you may leave, bye bye.
- No gossip, lengthy stories about your neighbour's dog and how it did this hilarious thing, or newspaper information about irrelevant subjects.
- When you start asking stupid questions, be prepared to get stupid answers.


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## she_sells_seashells (Nov 13, 2010)

I'm 19/almost 20 :sad:
This is my list:
- Independent: can't depend on me for their happiness. I can be a small part of it, but they should know who they are as a person and shouldn't need constant reassurance from me.
- Confident: they must be content with themselves as a person and deal with their own problems. I don't need someone's emotional baggage. I can help them where it's my place to help but in most instances they shouldn't rely on me for it.
- Understanding: I'm pretty withdrawn emotionally so they need to understand that my issues are mine alone and to leave me to them. 
- Is patient. 
- They should be open-minded. 
- Can't be possessive or overly dominant. I don't want any personality clashes.


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## absent air (Dec 7, 2010)

hmmm

this is my list:

-hugs every day! :laughing:
- icecream lover
- cookie lover
- brownie lover
- someone you can have a laugh with :laughing:
- someone who slaps me when im entering dreamworld again
- icecream lover again
- loves to share emotions with me, but doesnt expect me doing the same.
- doing stupid risky things once in a while, just for the fun
- is as tall as i am or a bit shorter 
- beautifull eyes i can gaze in everyday
- should have some awkwardness
- kisses everyday!
- and more hugs!


my my, this is a lengthy demanding list >.>


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## Tkae (Oct 15, 2009)

Idk...

Someone I can lay down on the couch with and just snuggle up to, someone who's holding me when I go to sleep and is still holding me when I wake up one, someone who's responsible enough to take care of me and patient enough to put up with me and love me even despite my _*severe*_ irresponsibility. Someone who doesn't mind taking the world on his shoulders for me, even though he knows I probably wouldn't be strong enough to do the same for him. And most importantly, he'd be 100% loyal to me and would never cheat on me or do anything to hurt me or leave me without both of us bending over backwards to work things out. 

Not that I ask a lot or anything...


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

absent air said:


> hmmm
> 
> this is my list:
> 
> ...


Now, that 'demanding' list of yours is so cute! :happy:


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## absent air (Dec 7, 2010)

hazelwitch said:


> Now, that 'demanding' list of yours is so cute! :happy:


thank you thank you, may i know why you have "Ana al-Haqq" in your signature? being irritatingly curious again :tongue:

How did it inspire you?


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

absent air said:


> thank you thank you, may i know why you have "Ana al-Haqq" in your signature? being irritatingly curious again :tongue:
> 
> How did it inspire you?


It's not irritating at all. Since you ask, you may know already that al-Hallaj was executed for this utterance as well as others similar to it. He was accused of heresy. I admire his courage more than I can express in words. I have been studying Sufism for a few years, and I love his writings. The statement "Ana-al-Haqq" means "I am the truth" and outside of the Qur'anic context, it resonates with me greatly. It is a powerful statement that reminds me of the strength of my convictions and al-Hallaj's astounding courage.


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## curious0610 (Jun 27, 2010)

Type 1/2 | Age 22

I started thinking about this kind of stuff lately….i met someone whose presence in my life served as a catalyst for me to ask myself these questions. Although this is by no-means comprehensive, I’ll take a stab at it. I would tend to agree with a lot of what perennialurker wrote actually. 

These are some things that are important for me, in no order of importance:

*Space*: I need my space sometimes, but I also need someone whose feelings/attitude towards me didn’t change because of this—I would be really hurt if I found out that my need for space had driven someone away and I would be aggravated if someone was too pushy/demanding of me when I need my space or have my space reserved for my hobbies, schoolwork, etc. 

*Emotional stability and consistency*: When I sense things are too emotionally charged on a regular basis, this will drive me away. It’s okay to have emotions, but I would prefer someone who is consistently neutral and whose level of emotion is generally at the same level every time I see them. 

*Creative stimulation*: This doesn’t have to be just academic or scholarly, although for some reason… I seem to give off this impression to people I meet in real life…. But it could be about anything- philosophy, art, literature, music, films. it’s perfectly fine if we have different “favorites” as long as there is some overlap and some expression of genuine interest of specific things *I* appreciate. (This might sound like a GIVEN for anyone, but where I’m at- there are tons of people who don’t care about anything other than their careers). I’ve actually been feeling kind of dead in this arena lately, but the aforementioned person has renewed this in me, though he probably doesn’t know how and why lol.

*Support and Encouragement*: I guess one of my biggest desires (as for 1s I suppose) is to be consistent with my ideals and to be doing the right thing. Sometimes, I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. I’ve rejected job positions because it wasn’t completely in line with my ideals, I’ve questioned life decisions I’ve made, and I’ve done things because my heart said it was right. But I need someone who is supportive of these decisions and assures me that I’m doing the right thing, and rationalizes this for me and is generally supportive /encouraging of what I’m trying to do with my life.

*Trust*: not necessarily just about me being able to trust them, but a huge part of this is how much the other person trusts ME. it’s really important that I know THEY trust me 100%. I would even say this is more important than ME being able to trust them.

Given these things …..I would like to point out that someone can have all those things, but unless there is a mutual attraction, a relationship would not work out. 

After writing all that, it seems I am more demanding than I had thought I was.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

I would appreciate it if subsequent posters could mention their *Enneagram* type in their posts. I didn't mention it in the first post, because I assumed it was available on the mini/brief profiles by the side. I am noticing that Enneagram types aren't mentioned in every profile, so I am going to ask you to provide this information. 

Thanks a lot:happy:.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

curious0610 said:


> Type 1/2 | Age 22
> 
> I started thinking about this kind of stuff lately….i met someone whose presence in my life served as a catalyst for me to ask myself these questions. Although this is by no-means comprehensive, I’ll take a stab at it. I would tend to agree with a lot of what perennialurker wrote actually.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the detailed reply. I assure you that your list is not demanding, and all these are very reasonable expectations:happy: I am going to be touching upon a few points in your post when I get down to answering my own question.


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## StrangelySpartan (Nov 16, 2010)

I'm type 5 (although I'm very 7 too) and 30ish.

I'm perfectly fine on my own so I ask little from my partner other than the obvious "not crazy" stuff. I've thought about this a lot though and here's what I've come up with for me.

Warm and affectionate: Cozy under-the-blanket tv watching, being showered with kisses, affectionate ways of lovin', a genuine interest in me and others (to a slightly lesser extent I guess....), and all that people stuff. I haven't had much of this in my life and only recently have I discovered how much of an affect it has on me. I like it. I like it a lot.

Open to new things: Because I am too and if we're both finding new things in life, then the adventures are doubled and shared. New restaurants, new oddball ideas, new things to try, new ways of lovin', new movies, new discussions, new everything. Novelty is good; no "ball and chain" for me.

I've crushed hardest on an ENFP and an ENFJ, but I've always ended up with INTPs and ESFPs.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

Enneagram Type: 8
Age: 22
To anyone who thought their list was too demanding or detailed, check this one out

*Traits that my partner must have: *
*
1. Courage and Assertiveness:* I need a strong, brave and assertive partner who is willing to stand up for himself and fight for his rights and has the courage to help empower people and help defend them when they are unable to do so. I will stand by him like a rock, and I expect similar tenacity and courage from him. I have an assertive personality and having a partner who is emotionally, intellectually, psychologically strong allows me to be at ease and have faith in his abilities and confidence, so I don't feel like I always need to run the show. 

*2. A desire for the equal sharing of power:* I have a strong sense of my personal power, but it is extremely important for me to have a respectful balance of power in the relationship so that neither of us can end up ruling the roost. I want an empowered partner who will neither dominate me nor allow me to dominate him. There is nothing sexy about a downtrodden man.

*3. Kindness: *Empathy, sensitivity and compassion are indispensable. My partner must be big-hearted and generous and concerned with the well-being of others. He should be perceptive and not completely oblivious to how others around him are feeling/responding to his words and actions etc. I can't stand callous jerks who are overly self-centered, with a tendency towards cruelty of any kind (putting others down etc.). 

*3. Intelligence:* A well-read person who is socio-politically aware and with whom I can enter into discussions about anything and everything imaginable. This is also about having interests in common. I am very focused on power relations and their study, so a keen interest in Foucault is a turn on for instance.

*4. Resilience: *The ability to survive adversity is something I strongly seek in a mate. I am attracted to self-made men who have had to struggle hard in life. I need a partner that I find inspiring. 

*5. Persistence:* I need a partner who is focused, decisive and persistent. 

*6. Acceptance:* It's important for me that my partner accept me the way I am. I strongly resist when someone tries to change/reform me. So the perfectionistic kinds who have the compulsive need to mold their partners into their idea of the 'perfect mate' need to steer clear. I have no place for this in my life. A desire for self-improvement is an essential aspect of my personality, so I want to become a better person, but I appreciate it when my partner can accept me how I am 'Now'. It is a sign of respect and trust, and I value both very highly. 

*7. Understanding:* When someone makes an effort to understand me, my motivations, my desires, my rage, my dreams and more, I find it very touching. I want to understand my partner in a very profound way and be a part of their emotional life, so it's important for me to be with someone who realizes how important this is and is willing to work on understanding me the way I will try to understand him more and more over time. I need someone who can encourage me to relax when I am in my Super-Woman mode, which I rarely ever get out of. I love it when a man can respect and admire my strength and honour my inner softness, that I don't reveal easily. It's beautiful when I can take off my armour and put my weapons aside [metaphorically speaking] and just bare my heart and soul to my partner, confident in the knowledge that my power and vulnerability are honoured equally. 

*8. Trust (trustworthy and trusting)*: I am not a suspicious person. I trust my partner until he proves to me that he is unworthy of the unquestioned trust I have put in him. After this bond is broken, there is usually no going back. It is extremely important for me to have a trusting partner who doesn't suspect my motives and my words. The whole possessive, jealous bullshit doesn't go down very well with me. My word is my bond. If this is an alien concept, step out of my life and spare me the mess. 

*9.* I don't know how to put it, but he needs to have somewhat thick skin. I can guarantee that I will never ever abuse my partner in any way. It will take a lot for me to even raise my voice. Respect is prime, and I will show the utmost respect, while pulling his leg almost daily..but. That's how I roll. While, I am respectful and soft-spoken, every now and then, I can speak in an authoritative manner and reveal an intensity that can frighten most people. I just can't be with someone who gets upset at the drop of a hat. I have nothing against my partner, I just speak forcefully at times. The overly fragile types can drive me up the wall in seconds. 

*10. Stability*: No wild mood swings please.


* 11. Emotional openness*: I need a man who isn't afraid of his feelings or mine. I need him to be comfortable expressing vulnerability around me and similarly be accepting of the few times when I will openly express fear/sadness etc. Accept my warmth and compassion and display the same when it's needed. 

*
12. Respect my need for space*: I am an introvert. I need my alone time. I will return when I am feeling energized. I get cold, quiet and distant under high amounts of stress. I need a partner who can be patient with this emotional distancing by giving me time, respecting my space and, at times, encouraging me to talk when I start shutting down emotionally. It doesn't happen often, but patience and understanding are greatly appreciated. 

13. He must be my *best friend*. I want to be able to say the weirdest things that come to my mind, laugh with him, roughhouse with him, play pranks on him etc. He can most certainly do all of this and more. 

I am fortunate to be with a person who has all of the traits I have mentioned above and then some. He is the kindest and strongest person I have ever known, a true inspiration. I have never been with someone this calm, stable, strong, patient and accepting. It's not very often that an 8 finds him/herself in a relationship where 7+ months go by without a single heated argument. 

Props to you lovely Type 9s 

*
Traits I just can't stand *

1. Abusive behaviour
2. Disrespect and Cruelty
3. Lack of trust
4. Conflict-aversion, fearing my intensity
5. Clingy behaviour, ever heard of independence?
6. Hypercritical personality: I won't fall apart if you provide constructive criticism, but one-sided accusatory criticism is unacceptable because it's unreasonable and highly irritating: you always do this or that, you 'never' call me. Cut the crap, give me specifics and don't overgeneralize 
7. Manipulation- The BS detection system works well. I can spot it, so don't play games. 
8. Emotional unavailability
9. Indirectness: Hint-dropping doesn't work. I am emotionally intelligent, but I am not a mind-reader. Get to the point. I have little patience with indirectness. 
10. Attempting to restrict my autonomy


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## Capsicum (Mar 17, 2010)

Type eight, aged twenty-one.

For me:

She needs to know that I can be insensitive and harsh, but it's never meant cruelly, and know it's never aimed at her (only ever aimed at the situation).

Know that I'll never back down from a fight, even if there's a good chance I'll lose, and that I fight best when my back is up against the wall.

That's it really. Sorry it's not as detailed as the other posts. :tongue:


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

I am a type 6.

I am looking for a person who can stand up to me, without leaving me. 

Someone who understands I put my worse foot foward at the beginning out of fear and doesn't mind the intense analysis (push away) process they are about to undergo. (Not many stand up to this. I am not for the weak).

I am looking for someone I can finally drop my guard with. I'll know this once I see them conveying blunt honesty and setting their own boundaries.

I want a person who knows where I end and they begin. I want a man who is not afraid of losing me, yet "gets" me and will call me out on my shit if necessary.

I want a man who says "Cut the bullshit. I know you like me and are just scared. Give it a rest, okay?". If a man did this, I'd probably be his diehard loyal Eve forever (minus the apple).

I need a person who is not fearful of my brain or successes. I want a man who loves the academic environment and loves to grow in knowledge.

I want someone who is strong in their own beliefs. I want an equal or partner.

The most important thing is having a person who can hold me and say "it will be okay" and not fold with me under pressure. I KNOW I will be like a rock for them during any of their tough times. They can be certain to rely on me. I will always have their back.

I want someone who is loyal and whose words are binding. I can tough it out with another when shit hits the fan. But its rare to find another so committed.

I need honesty. 100% honesty, even if it hurts. God forbid I catch any mate in a lie.


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## absent air (Dec 7, 2010)

Is there a link to a place where you figure out your enneagram? :shocked:


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

absent air said:


> Is there a link to a place where you figure out your enneagram? :shocked:


Enneagram Institute: Enneagram Testing & Training

I am still new to the enneagram. The best way is through reading through type descriptions and lots of self-reflection. For a start, may be you can try the brief test and see what you get. Though, tests aren't the all that reliable. I just want to point out that it's ok if you posted in the thread without knowing your type, but if the enneagram is something that interests you, please go ahead and work on finding your type.


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## absent air (Dec 7, 2010)

yes thank you i will! ^.^


i took a test and it told me i was number 5. no idea what it means though


guess more complex things i can throw myself into! :laughing:


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## susurration (Oct 22, 2009)

Pink, that is a very good list. 

I'm a 6w7 (though not entirely sure, because I can pass off fairly well for a 4w3).

These are some qualities that I have come to realise through experience I don't just prefer, but that I need in a long term partner. 


Stability. "There's a problem? we're going to work through it, understand it, and do our best to move through it". Is not as reactive in conflict and situations as I am. Stays calm and logical, without being belligerent towards me and others. Persistent, driven. Regulates own emotions, but knows that it's healthy to talk things through with me. 
I do NOT like drama and unnecessary dramatic tendencies. Not overly dramatic/self pitying etc. Slightly more grounded than myself. 

Trustworthy. Committed to me and the people/institutions whose lives they are a part of. Dependable (within reason) but knows their own limits. Not a martyr. Healthy sense of giving. Not false, but genuine. 

Balanced (mentally, emotionally). Appreciates that every person develops 'tunnel vision' as part and parcel of their personality, and desires to develop. They can see beyond their own selves, and values traits in other people they lack. Willing to share their strengths with others too. Intrapersonal awareness. Knows his strengths and weakness. Is not caught up in ego or false notions of self. Has balanced perspective of self as much as others. 
Generally has good intentions, but has an *edgy* side. Integrates and acknowledges 'shadow' self. knows it's there and doesn't run from it. Passionate/intense but knows when to cool down or amp it up. We have similar energy levels. I would prefer an sp/sx given my experience. Smoldering energy that explodes when given the chance, but can control it and let it temper down without becoming overwhelming. Earthy, yet fiery. 
Actively works on self development. 

Inquisitive. I don't like to stay stagnant. A keen learner, explorer. _Interested_ in the world and understanding it. A partner in crime learning about everything we can here (this would be important regarding lifestyle). Someone I can learn something from/learn with. Critical thinker. Not too narrow minded. Doesn't seek to change other peoples ideas. 

Sense of humour. I like to laugh. Every day. Humour is a very important form of bonding for me. Mature, but knows how to let their hair down and not take things too seriously sometimes (although I could probably provide this ). 

Inner strength. Preferably not overbearing or domineering. A quiet strength that doesn't need to be proven or pushed on to others. A sense of knowing personal boundaries and what they will and will not tolerate.* Personal integrity*. Works through own fears and has courage I often lack. 

Resilience. 

Is a whole person, and can love their own self so I know the connection between us is healthy. I don't want them to change to suit me, when they change, I would hope it's a natural transition for their -own selves- towards more healthy ways of being. I want our connection to be genuine; not inflated or superficial. Real. Independent and interdependent. Never loses sense of who they are with me. Maintains own life separate from me and allows me mine, but also allows us to be intertwined at the same time without either of us dissapearing. 

Genuine attraction to me. Doesn't give up if they 'get bored' of me. Doesn't try to change or manipulate me. Their notion of me is stable and doesn't shift to extremes. Sees me for who I am from the beginning without putting me on a pedestal. Connection. Being in sync. 

Effective communication skills (or at least desires to learn and -does learn- and implements them). 

Consistent values/principals/ethics. But isn't afraid to question them and better align them with reality. 

Interpersonal skills (or learns and applies them). 


I don't really have an ideal picture, I just went through some of the characters and people I have best gotten along with, and plucked out a few character tendencies. An ideal doesn't really ensure a healthy, reasonably functional relationship.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

Nova said:


> Pink, that is a very good list.
> 
> I'm a 6w7 (though not entirely sure, because I can pass off fairly well for a 4w3).
> 
> ...


Nova, thanks for the detailed post. That is a very good response.

I don't think it's wise to dwell on an 'ideal' when it comes to choosing a partner. I used the word 'ideal' in my post because I didn't want to use the word 'perfect', which would have been ridiculous. At the same time, I didn't feel like getting into a long-drawn explanation of why I am using the word 'ideal' though I know that not only can it place one in a situation where one may lose track of the fact that humans are fallible, it can make finding the right relationship difficult if one were to continue chasing an 'ideal' and losing out on potentially wonderful partners. Indeed, an ideal does not ensure a healthy relationship. Also, people's ideals vary, and a woman whose 'ideal' is the proverbial 'bad boy' will not have the healthiest relationship for instance. 

Much of my list stems from character traits that I have found compatible from experience. The list of things I can't stand is almost entirely based on characteristics I found to be harmful to the success of my past relationships.


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## PeaceOfMind (Apr 26, 2011)

I'm a type 9 and I need:

1) Someone who accepts me for who I am.
2) Can hold a conversation
3) Direct. I can't read all the cues.
4) Not clingy, and would encourage me do things on my own and to be myself.


I can't stand:
1) Someone who screams or shouts when angry. 
2) Someone who demands me to be with him all the time.
3) A dictator.
4) Someone who doesn't try to get along with my friends/family, and then asks me to choose.


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## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

Any girl who likes this song:


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## Konan (Apr 20, 2011)

I'm a type 2 but I don't know if I can call them a "mate." I want someone who can love me but not be interested in sex. So far that seems impossible.


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## Vaan (Dec 19, 2010)

Just someone who i can have a deep, meaningful and passionate relationship with. Having a connection is a must, and so is openess honesty, theres nothing more irritating then someone who will try to divert conversations, i wont think any differently of them if they tell me if they did something wrong, unless its something i cant forgive


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