# Tips for Rationals with Non-Rational Partners



## slowriot (Nov 11, 2008)

I got this in the Kiersey newsletter and thought Id share for those who dont get it..

*Love the One You're With:
Tips for Rationals with Non-Rational Partners
By Dr. Lovegood*

"Our relationship would be so much better if only she was more like me..." How many times have you heard this sad lament from a friend or relative bemoaning their current (usually temporary) relationship woes? "We would be so much happier if he understood me better - he'd know just what to do or say without needing to be told...", are grumblings we've often overheard. In other words, people are saying a partner just like them would effectively read their mind and be the perfect mate. ..... Read more


----------



## WolfStar (Aug 18, 2009)

That's one of the worst possible things someone can do in a relationship. Maybe I'm biased because it was heavily done to me in my last relationship but expecting someone else to be like you is just being closed-minded and selfish. Love just goes out in the window in favour of having things be easy and understandable on all levels. Such a waste of energy.


----------



## N^G (Apr 30, 2009)

MY advice to anyone with a non rational partner, is get the hell out


----------



## Liontiger (Jun 2, 2009)

Ah, I stumbled upon that site a while back. I like how they discuss the interactions between types instead of just giving descriptions.


----------



## angularvelocity (Jun 15, 2009)

Thanks for sharing that website, I liked it.


----------



## slowriot (Nov 11, 2008)

WolfStar said:


> That's one of the worst possible things someone can do in a relationship. Maybe I'm biased because it was heavily done to me in my last relationship but expecting someone else to be like you is just being closed-minded and selfish. Love just goes out in the window in favour of having things be easy and understandable on all levels. Such a waste of energy.


did you read the linked article?


----------



## εmptε (Nov 20, 2008)

*Rationals being INTPs, ENTJs, ESTJs, & ISTPs? or any NT/ST.*


----------



## slowriot (Nov 11, 2008)

According to Keirsey its NT's that is called rational.


----------



## WolfStar (Aug 18, 2009)

slowriot said:


> did you read the linked article?


Yup, and what I said goes right along with it. :B


----------



## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

The most important advice is: don't kill your partner, no matter how illogical they might be. Unfortunately, murder is illegal, resulting in you losing your partner forever and in you being executed by some hich down in texas.


----------



## Deagalman (Jul 3, 2009)

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> The most important advice is: don't kill your partner, no matter how illogical they might be. Unfortunately, murder is illegal, resulting in you losing your partner forever and in you being executed by some hich down in texas.



There is no rational gain in murder. The obvious choice is not to kill when given the choice. the consequences far outweigh the problem solving


----------



## angularvelocity (Jun 15, 2009)

Sorry NTs, only play "Catch me, rape me" with other NTs.


----------



## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

Of the opposite gender.


----------



## StephAnne04 (Oct 19, 2009)

Hmmm... I really like this article. It opened up my eyes a bit about my bf and I. He and I both go back and forth. He likes rules, I don't. I want to fix everything, he wants to let them be. I've always told him I enjoyed our differences, but here lately I have forgotten them. Thanks for sharing the article.


----------



## The Proof (Aug 5, 2009)

I've got a better one "things would be so much better if we parted ways forever"

"creating dreams for the future can represent the epitome of quality time for this pair" - what a load of garbage


----------



## Kevinaswell (May 6, 2009)

I wish they included the alternative perspective.

Why the hell do I gotta be the one to mold myself to their workings?!

(even though I know what they're saying and try to do it >.<)

But I mean shit, dude. Rationals are the more capable ones of handling mental control like this. Not too fair >.<


----------



## Tkae (Oct 15, 2009)

N^G said:


> MY advice to anyone with a non rational partner, is get the hell out


Yes, because rational partners aren't complete pains in the asses, right?

Because rationals are immune to being cold, metal machines without the capacity for emotion or aesthetic; who don't EVER stick to the cold, hard truth so they don't have to bother with feelings and emotions and all that "stuff" just because they don't get it.

/sarcasm

Seriously, all NT/NF relationships should have this be given to the NT as an instruction manual. 



> What Idealists want the most is someone to listen to what they have to say and sympathize or empathize without passing judgment or offering advice unless they ask for it. This runs counter to your pragmatic and utilitarian nature - you will need to train yourself to bite your tongue and not offer solutions to your partner's problems in these situations (unless they ask).


I JUST had this argument with someone yesterday! :crazy:
One thing rationals tend to forget in relationships is that it's new things for them to learn. I've had I don't know how many rational friends try to approach relationships with the rules they already live by, which never works because every relationship is different. They're just so... _inflexible_ sometimes. It's like trying to talk to a metal statue.


----------



## toothfairy (Oct 25, 2009)

so is there anyone can help giving me advice on how to talk to an INFJ ex-boyfriend. we broke up almost 2 months ago but i still have something that i wanted to say - i have to admit i feel really sad about his decision to breaking up with me - 

as an entp i found it hard to open up and say about what i feel. even though i think i need to make a closure to feel better about it. but i dont know how to start!!

he seems so aloof and distant now when he called me and always just talk about some serious subject of his interest, like economy, politic, etc..

i have no clue how to make the icebreaker help!!


----------



## Tkae (Oct 15, 2009)

toothfairy said:


> so is there anyone can help giving me advice on how to talk to an INFJ ex-boyfriend. we broke up almost 2 months ago but i still have something that i wanted to say - i have to admit i feel really sad about his decision to breaking up with me -
> 
> as an entp i found it hard to open up and say about what i feel. even though i think i need to make a closure to feel better about it. but i dont know how to start!!
> 
> ...


You really don't need an icebreaker.

I mean, NF tend to be pretty comfortable talking about emotions -- you're the one that's uncomfortable with it. So just take a deep breath and say it. Tell him your feelings. He won't be uncomfortable talking about your feelings, if anything he'll be uncomfortable about hurting your feelings if he says no.

But if you have to say it, then you have to say it, ya know? And he'll probably understand that. Then he might feel guilty and all, but again -- do what you have to do. If you're feeling the emotions, then you need to let him know.

But won't worry about easing yourself into it -- that's all for you. You can talk about the weather until the cows come home, but it won't make what you're going to say any easier. So I guess just tell him there's something you've needed to say for a while now, and jump in feet first :happy:


----------



## SJ1974 (Jul 15, 2009)

Thanks for sharing the site! I now see that I've read this before.
I learned from it plus I'd happen to read it right after an argument with my girlfriend (INTP).
Sometimes I feel like a huge knuckle head.


----------

