# Do you have less sympathy for people who extrovert their psychological problems?



## Handsome Dyke (Oct 4, 2012)

Do you have less sympathy for psychologically trouble people who are mean, rude, violent, and/or destructive than you have for psychologically troubled people who mostly keep their problems to themselves?


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## 74893H (Dec 27, 2017)

Yep. There's no excuse for making your problems other peoples' problems. If you're unable to be nice then it's not hard to just keep your mouth shut, or your hands to yourself.


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## Rascal01 (May 22, 2016)

My initial thought was yes, I would be less sympathetic to a loud or unruly person with psychological issues. Then I caught myself. I do not want to be around people with the issues you describe. I realize they are sick or troubled, be they violent or not. It is likely they cannot help themselves and/or may not have the capacity for self control. Their behavior may be symptomatic or typical of their condition, or possibly a cry for help. The all need care, and all are deserving of both sympathy and medical care.


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## lokasenna (Apr 7, 2019)

Depends. I'd be able to have more active sympathy for people who don't externalize their problems, but I'd still feel sympathetic towards people who do - it would just be more theoretical than actionable. I wouldn't really be able to express it to them, or necessarily feel motivated to. 

Sympathy is inherently theoretical anyway though. It's a type of understanding, a perception of the suffering of others. In some ways, my sympathy is greater for people who are destructive or violent because of the degree of pain a person has to be experiencing to act like that. They're damaging their own soul.


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## Lucan1010 (Jul 23, 2018)

If by "psychologically trouble[d]" you mean people suffering from mental illness, I don't know why I'd have less sympathy. It's not like it's their fault, at least no mostly. They have to deal with the same problems anyone else would in life, plus their mental illness.


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## Handsome Dyke (Oct 4, 2012)

lokasenna said:


> In some ways, my sympathy is greater for people who are destructive or violent because of the degree of pain a person has to be experiencing to act like that.


 Seems like you underestimate how prone to and comfortable with violence or destruction some people are. Some can do it with little or no pain.


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## lokasenna (Apr 7, 2019)

Saiyed En Sabah Nur said:


> Seems like you underestimate how prone to and comfortable with violence or destruction some people are. Some can do it with little or no pain.


That's true. Some can do it with little remorse or self reflection, and have no greater moral qualms about it. But what kind of existence is that? It's such a fucked up state to be in that whether it's inherent or developed, I can't help but pity it, in part. And that's where the sympathy comes from.


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## 30812 (Dec 22, 2011)

No. They don't make any difference to me regardless whether they are troubled or not or what they do. It is entirely possible that these troubled persons feel sympathy for the "normal" people in the same way they do to them. Everyone merely exists in different states and having sympathy is to do injustice to others and devalue their life and sufferings. 

Life and sufferings should not be something to be pitied upon that makes us used to the idea that we are special and superior when we are not. We all roll the same dice and come out different.


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## Jaune (Jul 11, 2013)

I have almost no sympathy about anything. So it's about the same in both cases: 0.

I just get more annoyed when people openly show psychological problems while I can easily ignore those who keep their problems to themselves.


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## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

Saiyed En Sabah Nur said:


> Do you have less sympathy for psychologically trouble people who are mean, rude, violent, and/or destructive than you have for psychologically troubled people who mostly keep their problems to themselves?


I would say I have mixed feelings - I have sympathy in both cases, but in the former case there is also the feeling of need to protect others from the severity of the externalized behavior and its harm risk. Sometimes an externalized behavior can actually make it easier to understand and address the trouble. Often, I may feel deeply for someone but still condone their restraint and/or treatment even against their will because of the need to ensure the protection of innocent bystanders (sometimes including themself).


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## Morpheus83 (Oct 17, 2008)

Yeah. I know I should have more sympathy, but I don't. I'm like 'Stop inflicting your shit on other people.' I have even less sympathy for people who whip out their 'mental illness' card after the fact to excuse their own abusive behaviours. If you're aware and well enough to play the 'mental illness' card, then you're well enough to know that what you're doing is wrong, and you should keep working on it--even if it means staying away from other unsuspecting people when you know you're not coping. I'm wary of discrimination provisions that allow manipulative mentally ill people to be disruptive and abusive; anybody who calls out these people's behaviours and unwarranted use of 'mental illness' as an excuse is deemed a 'bigot' .


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## Janna (Aug 31, 2018)

Yes, I have less sympathy for them if they are violent or otherwise dangerous to those around them. Doesn't mean that they don't deserve treatment, but my first priority would be to assure the safety of others around them.

I hope that the psychologically troubled people who are just regularly mean, rude or self-destructive don't try to hide their troubles but have the courage to open up about them and seek help.

I can be mean, rude and self-destructive, and I don't even have any major psychological problems (at least not diagnosed).


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## Sybow (Feb 1, 2016)

My sympathy is the same for all.

The only question is, if thats positive or negative.


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## VinVenture (Nov 19, 2019)

yes, it depends how you define "psychological problems" but if it is serious they should see a professional therapist. 

It's nothing we as friends or family can "fix" anyway.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Saiyed En Sabah Nur said:


> Do you have less sympathy for psychologically trouble people who are mean, rude, violent, and/or destructive than you have for psychologically troubled people who mostly keep their problems to themselves?


I try as hard as I can to treat everyone equally, fairly, and politely, as possible; but I confess, anyone who seriously works at making my day more difficult is going to hear about it, whether there's psychological problems or not. At some point, I'm going to reach my limit. I have my own psychological problems. Everyone does. I try to make things better than the way I found them whenever and wherever possible. I try not to crap on other peoples' parade. I try to look for the "win-win" scenarios whenever possible. I know some people can't help it, but it doesn't make it right for them to just run over other people. Even people with issues have to face consequences, or they will spiral out of control and law enforcement/mental health professionals will be forced to deal with them.


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## Sidhe Draoi (Nov 25, 2016)

Its not about people keeping their problems to themselves, in my book.. Its about people bombarding other people with constant negativity when the other people already have enough going on in THEIR lives as it is.

I can respect people who need to work their problems outside of their heads and talk about their problems while finding solutions.. but people that dont even try to look at the bright side of things or find solutions are just exhausting.


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## Pinkieshyrose (Jan 30, 2013)

I mean you said less sypmathethic not not sympathethic

like I feel like generally those kinda people avoid anyone that will try to help them

and hurt others alot

and it doesn't seem to be mostly be because there afraid

though who knows

I feel like some with npd e.c.t kinda like doing what there doing
which is just sad

I feel like having a discussion about is not keeping there problems to there selves but is good
and I feel like some "rude" things are actually rude

such as I am have autism and sometimes cut people off in conversation by mistake
or get loud when I am excited I apologize

I apologize but generally someone really rude will be way "ruder" to me

I had a friend where I stopped being friends with

Because she started screaming at me going into a rant about stuff saying I was disrespectful to her 
(though the irony was she was extremely disrespectful to me the whole time I met her) and calling me crazy to the point of my crying after me asking her to stop saying I am crazy then she kicked me out her apartment for the crying (and stole some of things I left there as she was kind of kicking and causing a bigger scene )
Then I decided to stop being friends with her and though I actually ended it on text she lashed out saying a bunch of stuff like she ended it. and calling me a bunch of junk.

So I would say if you do something slightly rude yeah I will feel sorry

like you can really get rid of stuff like autism but it can make you appear rude and actual rude people might eat you alive.

But on the same time it honesty doesn't effect me much. I don't have all symptoms I would be a aspie.


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## SteadySteve (Dec 4, 2019)

If they intentionally look for you and try to take their problems out on you to make themselves feel better then they deserve no sympathy... they're just being selfish and being like leeches by taking away from you to help them gain... where's the fairness in that? they deserve nothing but a lesson being taught to them.


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## Strawberry Lemonade (Dec 7, 2019)

This is basically the difference between being neurotic and psychotic. The neurotic person at the brink might kill themselves, while the psychotic would kill others.

It's far easier to have sympathy for someone who is wholly a victim rather than a victimizer, even if the latter was once a victim. That doesn't automatically mean the latter doesn't deserve some level of sympathy, that's another discussion, but honestly I'm not different from the typical person in that it's easier for me to sympathize with an innocent person who was a victim.


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## stevieg306 (Feb 18, 2019)

If someone's making noise on the bus be it a kid, disabled person or whatever and I'm not in a terribly good mood (tired after work and want to get home) I'll normally make a comment. Asshole move yes I know but thats me. Best spot on a London bus, top deck at the back, observe everything going on around you but can't be seen by anyone else for the most part


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## SteadySteve (Dec 4, 2019)

stevieg306 said:


> If someone's making noise on the bus be it a kid, disabled person or whatever and I'm not in a terribly good mood (tired after work and want to get home) I'll normally make a comment. Asshole move yes I know but thats me. Best spot on a London bus, top deck at the back, observe everything going on around you but can't be seen by anyone else for the most part


That's why I'm glad to be driving a car for over a year now... Was tired of the sensory overload on public transports and some not being considerate over others... especially when you're drained from work & etc. Rather have independence than put up with space invaders... There'll be times where I may need to use public transport but not regularly at least.


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## attic (May 20, 2012)

Hm, yes, it is interesting, but I think I do sympathise a bit less in general with people who express their emotions strongly. Instinctively that is, on a more rational level I don't. I need to be aware of this I think, and ponder it a bit.... I think it is that I am an introverted feeler myself, and instinctively I can relate more to strong feelings making someone turn inward. I notice this in movies and such too when I think about it, if someone sobs uncontrollably and hit walls and stuff I feel like sighing and wait for them to stop the tantrums, if it is the same feeling but subtle expressions I feel it much stronger myself. I think sometimes with strong expressions of emotion, my instinct is not to "feed it" with too much attention. Which is not a good way to deal with it most of the time of course.


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