# How to develop Fe?



## Little Cloud (Jan 12, 2013)

ScarlettHayden said:


> Something that just came to me. I usually only tend to go to social events when it sounds interesting enough to me, or if I feel like it. Would a dom/aux Fe user be more likely to go to social events even if they don't feel like it, for the sake of group harmony? That sounds exhausting..


No necessarily. At least I don't act in that way. I go to social events just if I want to. 
I suggest you to not force you too much, or that would block your genuine desire to develop your Fe. 
Anyway here are some advices to develop your Fe. As a dominant Fe I do these actions many times in every day, sometimes without being aware of them because they comes pretty natural to me.

Try to understand other's emotions and feelings and if they need to be supported, support them, or at least act in a way that respect their emotions\feelings. 
Smile more to others, especially to people that you love. Show your appreciation by words or gestures.
Share your emotions\feelings and propound others to do the same. Ask them:" How are you?" and listen them very carefully.
Try to be expressive.

I think it could help you too a general description of how Fe acts in me:
Fe is generally linked to others' needs and feelings. I'm always linked to others moods, feelings and needs, I'm, usually, so able to recognize them that I can't no ignore them, also because I'm a very sensible person.
Fe makes me very interested in knowing other people and to connect with them. When I see a person that is crying I can't stop myself to start seeing if someone is near that person and he\she's taking care of him\her. 
When I call someone, Fe makes me understand, instantly, if the other person is happy, sad, bored, angry, tired etc and if the person is not serene or happy I feel the need to sustain him\her and help him\her as I can.


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## Mammon (Jul 12, 2012)

For me Fe is personalizing 3rd parties needs and feelings as if my own. Meaning I will feel strongly about:

People being mistreated
Unjustice upon others
Egoism at the expense of others
People being insulted for no good reason
People picked on
People feeling unwelcome
People being disrespected
etc
etc

All of these when I see them happening I get angry, sad, etc. I do not like this upon my own thus I won't allow any of this. This happens automatic ofcourse. Fe being my aux it just is. As do people helping others make me happy. Why? Because I care.


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## ScarlettHayden (Jun 8, 2012)

I see there's a few answers here about making sure people aren't mistreated, don't feel left out ect. I would say I feel these things in the sense of justice, but I don't necesssarily care about it enough to actually do anything about it. Like in the same way I think the government is corrupt, but don't feel like it's personally siginificant enough for me to get involved in politics and change the system. 

But I'll take a note of that and act on my inbuilt sense of justice more to make sure things stay fair in a group setting rather than just caring about whether it applies to me or not. That way I wont be exhausting myself by trying to be someone I'm not.

The thing is, I can only understand what people are feeling, I'm not really capable of actually feeling what they are feeling unless they're close to me. Will actively working on this more help more with that?


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## Little Cloud (Jan 12, 2013)

ScarlettHayden said:


> The thing is, I can only understand what people are feeling, I'm not really capable of actually feeling what they are feeling unless they're close to me. Will actively working on this more help more with that?


Just if you want it, and just when you want it. 
I'm generally able to understand other feelings even if I'm not very close to them, however when I want just to focus on my intimate friends, I do that and I forget about others. It's a matter of priorities.
However maybe if you want to try sometimes to try to understand others, it could be a way to develop more your Fe, anyway try to not exaggerate and to force yourself too much, because with exaggeration, at least I talk about me, Fe can turn off very quickly and suddenly.


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## Little Cloud (Jan 12, 2013)

I've just found an article that talk about how develop Fe. I don't know if you already know it, anyway I give you the links:
Extraverted Feeling (Fe)
http://www.cognitiveprocesses.com/UsesOfType/Cognitive-Processes-And-Communication.cfm


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## StElmosDream (May 26, 2012)

My dear @*ScarlettHayden*
Become more self aware and look at your emotional growth in terms of years not simply milestones to develop xyz... most things take time but Fe is more like a psuedo empathic function that you can develop by learning more about others, learning more about you and learning to distinguish good social influences and bad 'character maturation influences'...as we have briefly discussed in our chats


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## Anubis (Nov 30, 2011)

well, I was the stereotypical ENTP until I started working in the funeral industry. Meeting with families, caring for their loved ones etc. definitely "developed" my Fe, i suppose. I even went through a couple of months of thinking I'm ESFJ, just because I had been "living" in my Fe, outside of my comfort zone of Ne-Ti.


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## DAPHNE XO (Jan 16, 2012)

ScarlettHayden said:


> So what are some ways I can develop my Fe, and seem more friendly to people, rather than just look like I'm mostly always bored? (Even if I'm not it usually just seems to come across that way.)
> 
> I read somewhere that mirroring people's actions is a good start. I'm not sure I like the idea of allowing other people's hand gestures to control me like that (I know it's a kind of a ridiculous notion), and remembering to do it all the time would probably drain me, but I'm willing to give it a try.
> 
> Any other tips?


I guess you're talking about the genuine kind of Fe? Well for me that's about making someone else's wellbeing as important as mine. So it's about knowing they feel good. In order to do this, you have to read their body language, and really try and connect to how they feel by imagining how you would feel if you were in their shoes. This is almost like an obsessive kind of care though, because it's about constantly seeking emotional signals from the other person to know how they feel. You can do this overtly by just asking or covertly by reading into things.

The other types:

Fake Fe is like, just talking to everyone because you don't want to be bored.

Shallow Fe is being all flirty, and cutesy.

Manipulative Fe is using social gestures to force people to do what you want. To do this, it's not really hard, there are PLENTY of tricks people employ everyday to get others to do what they want by taking advantage of the social situation. Would give examples but I don't want the fire and brimstone of judgment to fall down upon me. 

Best of luck OP.


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## ScarlettHayden (Jun 8, 2012)

Thanks for all the answers. I'm assuming like @*FixationForcep *if I put myself into situations where would have to develop it then I would have no other choice. Didn't it drain you though? 



Little Cloud said:


> Just if you want it, and just when you want it.
> I'm generally able to understand other feelings even if I'm not very close to them, however when I want just to focus on my intimate friends, I do that and I forget about others. It's a matter of priorities.
> However maybe if you want to try sometimes to try to understand others, it could be a way to develop more your Fe, anyway try to not exaggerate and to force yourself too much, because with exaggeration, at least I talk about me, Fe can turn off very quickly and suddenly.


Hmm, I always assumed that Fe users had to live with it all the time. That's a liberating thing to know, thanks. And thanks for sending me that site, it looks interesting, I'll have a read through it.


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## War pigs (Sep 12, 2012)

Fe is something you spot in you, when you're in touch with you're environment's feelings. Use this "Inner force" mainly when socializing and stuff. Really, as an ENTP, even before I knew about MBTI, I started experiencing great results concerning people when I got in touch with my feelings. I mean I still lead with my Ne and Ti, but just add to it a bit of feelings. So you're still talking about facts and stuff but also getting in touch with people's feelings, actually they started getting more and more interested by what I have to say as an NT.


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## Seagrass (Nov 29, 2012)

Perhaps... when in a conversation with someone, put some more priority on what they are saying, and what they want out of the conversation. If they're acting as if they really want to talk about purple frogs, talk about purple frogs, and tell them were they can go and find some cool purple frogs. Use your body language to make them comfortable...?
This is most of my understanding of Fe.


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