# MEN: Would you want to know if your ex was pregnant?



## Lackjester

What if he actually wants to take care of this child?


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## TragicallyHip

Forget you. Forget him. Think of the kid. You OWE that child a shot at a relationship with his/her father. Without question you should tell him. You need to be able to look into that toddler's sweet, drooly face and say, "I did everything I could to make sure your daddy stayed in your life." If he can't/doesn't want to be part of the baby's life, that's his choice. But you don't want that on yourself. Trust me.


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## NotSoRighteousRob

If he wasn't willing to commit to the relationship before the child the option should not be placed to get back together because of the child. This will only lead to resentment towards the child and yourself should things not go smoothly. 

You should tell him however. Waiting or avoiding it could lead to legal complications and damage any chance of future reconciliation. However as I just stated you can not just resume the relationship where you left off. If he is able to show dependability through friendship that should be a prerequisite for ANYONE to be a father than you would be ready to take matters further. If you fear that he will use the child in court to get back at you do whatever you have to to remove him from the equation. Drugs and weapons planted in a trunk will generally ensure 10-20 years of trouble-free life.


The biggest thing to keep in mind here is doing what is best for the CHILD. Any thoughts that pertain to either the male or the female are bullshit as I would say from what I've been told neither of you are qualified to raise it. However we all end up screwed up despite the best intentions. Try to figure out what would benefit the child most and you should come to a rational answer.


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## WolfStar

It's his child. Everything else doesn't matter because the bottom line is that it is his child and he deserves to know.


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## Emerson

I don't think it matters if it makes his/her life harder. They should know, not for their sake but the childs... Duh.


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## Erudis

If the man were to carry the baby inside him, do you think it would give him the right to not tell you about it and do whatever he wants with the child?

If having a uterus were to give more rights to one of the parents, gay couples would be screwed.


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## Waiting

The reasons have been listed already, but again, he should know. Whats right and whats easy are most often polar opposites.


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## Razvan

The father should know, he should make his own choice whether to be a part of the kid's life or not. The kid should also know when he/she is old enough. The truth is the best solution in any case. 

Yeah, the father's life will not be the same, but it doesn't mean it will be worse, especially since she has all the support she needs, there shouldn't be any pressure.


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## Stephen

Nika Lu said:


> With YOUR child, obviously.


I would want to know.



> She has all the financial and emotional support she needs from friends and family, she doesn't need or even want anything from him. However she is having the moral dilema:
> 
> Should I tell him?


Morally speaking, I think he has the right to know if he has (or in short order will have) a child.

She's not asking him to do anything about it. He may want some part in the child's life though, which may not be something she wants. Generally I favor the truth, but if she tells him the truth and he wants to have a father role in the child's life, he may be able to enforce that legally. She might want to consult with a lawyer.


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## Thalassa

It is incredibly selfish NOT to tell him and give him the opportunity to know, as well as being selfish toward the child's opportunity to have a relationship with his or her father. 

I cannot believe the insane psychology of someone thinking it was "selfish" to inform a man who was half-responsible for a new life that he was a father. 

What has the world come to?


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## WolfStar

Doesn't matter if he would want the kid or not, he deserves to know as he is the father. He can make his own decision after.



fourtines said:


> It is incredibly selfish NOT to tell him and give him the opportunity to know, as well as being selfish toward the child's opportunity to have a relationship with his or her father.
> 
> I cannot believe the insane psychology of someone thinking it was "selfish" to inform a man who was half-responsible for a new life that he was a father.
> 
> What has the world come to?


Completely agreed. >.>


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