# Stages of Duality



## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

Socionics researchers studying the development of dual relations found it had eight common stages.



1. The sensing a necessity to meet again. You notice this afterwards, after your first contact. It is something unconscious, perceptive and mysterious. An inevitable feeling as if you need to meet this person again. Unexpectedly, they attached to something within you. Suddenly you begin to understand that you really need to see this person. If you do something, your thoughts are about this person.


2. A Persons who for the first time in their life finds themselves in dual contact tries to remember: “Where could have we meet with before?!” (Of course, it is uselessly). Nevertheless, both are sure they have known each other for many years.


3. The sensation of safety appears for both duals. You observe this sensation and you cannot mix it with something up. A sensation of amazing and undisturbed composure describes this. It happens in the moment, a forming of common atmosphere; it can be easy felt, you intuitively know.


4. Both duals begin to feel simultaneously and equally the “impossibility” to be separated even for short time. It is very an exact and very real sensation of dual contact.


5. Both duals feel something like an internal joy, that fills up the soul. The smile on your face appears like a quiet happy smile of conciliation and rest.


The joy as behavior reaction is one of most accurate characteristic of dual dyad. This joy can appear without any certain reason. (Duals can laugh even without any certain reason just looking to each other. This joy arises like from sub consciousness – J.S.)


6. Little by little, both duals begin to feel, the need for maximum and close contact. If persons are not married, then it’s a good start for relations. If both duals have their own families, it is hard to keep their families. It is interesting that it is just natural evolution of the situation. It happens spontaneously like a “matter-of-course”…


7. The leveling of dual energy. This phenomenon appears almost immediately. The duals should just to be together, just to seat close by, sometimes even without touching each other. The maximum term for leveling of dual energy – 40 minutes (it is a result of investigation) and after that duals renew their energy. It does not depend on the depth of the “energy hole”.


8. This is most interesting stage. Duals cannot describe their feelings. You feel so comfortable, so at ease, it is as if you feel nothing at all…Sometimes it is impossible to notice the presence of your dual. Sometimes you completely forget about your dual all, then suddenly you see your dual!!! (How could I forget about them???)

taken from http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/showthread.php/29701-Stages-of-Duality-in-the-Alpha-Dyads


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Based on the LIE I saw for a while, I can ascribe that a lot of this also applies to semi-dual but perhaps not as intensely. The notion of "must have known each other before" is something I can attest to. There were a lot of weird quirky things going on that really made me wonder if we've met in a different life.


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## sinigang (May 5, 2012)

I think the article needs to distinguish itself from a normal romance/love article aside from using the word 'dual'. How it relates to socionics principles is not very obvious.


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## Mostly Harmless (Oct 16, 2011)

sinigang said:


> I think the article needs to distinguish itself from a normal romance/love article aside from using the word 'dual'. How it relates to socionics principles is not very obvious.


Agree 100%. None of what's being described here is any different from falling in love, which is definitely not a phenomenon specific to duality.


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## Sol_ (Jan 8, 2013)

There is a bad thing about such researchings in typology - they have no objective basis, only speculations and subjectivism.


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

sinigang said:


> I think the article needs to distinguish itself from a normal romance/love article aside from using the word 'dual'. How it relates to socionics principles is not very obvious.


one difference is that this occurs also in non-romantic relations between duals =P


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## Lilsnowy (Sep 9, 2009)

The stages do sound like infatuation to me, or a soul connection, but the idea of it happening between duals who are not romantically involved is intriguing. Years ago, I had the instantaneous powerful feeling of not wanting to be separated from a man I had just met, and he felt the same way. I was overwhelmed by emotions. The second time we met he said, "We have a problem." And it was true. 

But he was deeply troubled and angry and I was relieved when he left my life.


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

I have never met an ISTp before. Where the frack are they hiding?


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Rim said:


> I have never met an ISTp before. Where the frack are they hiding?


Good question although I think esq is one. Although with that said, I think meeting ANY dual won't spark this, but meeting A dual is MORE LIKELY to spark this feeling, I think. 

I only have one example in my life of this occurring and it was semi-duality and we were friends, not romantically involved. It was hard to shake off the feeling of that we had met in another life, though.


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

Rim said:


> I have never met an ISTp before. Where the frack are they hiding?


Try reading the ISTJ forum. While not all of them are ISTps there, the prevalent majority write like they could be ISTps. Some photos of famous ISTps.


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

cyamitide said:


> Try reading the ISTJ forum. While not all of them are ISTps there, the prevalent majority write like they could be ISTps. Some photos of famous ISTps.


Unsure about that :/ I don't really get along well with Si-Te MBTI users, especially the E1-types (I think it is mostly a problem with E1-s). Not even with ISFJs. xNxJs are sometimes a problem (when they try to control me, manipulate me or box my options in). My grandmother is very ISFJ-ish and very E1 & E4 - ish. While she thinks I like her (because I hate open conflict and keep the shit mostly to myself)...I don't and several things about that personality make my CP rebellious and chaotic, change loving E6 ENFP self want to kill her (most other ppl think the same about her).

This is kind of an issue for me, I don't like limitations, especially attempted control from others or ppl who are afraid of unexpected change (because I am literally...unexpected change all the time). I like my freedom tvm . Playing nice also gets tiring after a while and I lose my temper if I have to pretend for too long.

I observed this mostly in my grandmother and one other girl I know. It is as if they hold anger in to such a degree that it makes the air around them suffocating and stress inducing. If I ask why they are angry (because I can literally feel it emminating from them)...the reply is that they are not angry, they are never angry with anyone (I imagine because it would be inappropriate)...sometimes just before they tear someone down for some reason :S its an odd thing, like being critical and complaining but the way it is imparted makes one hate them all the more, because it always ends in a command given, in oughts and shoulds and how something isn't good enough.

Personally I say away from them as much as I can, I physically can't stand staying next to them for long ^^;....I also run the risk of blowing my top and telling them some nasty thing I may regret saying later on.


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

> 2. A Persons who for the first time in their life finds themselves in dual contact tries to remember: “Where could have we meet with before?!” (Of course, it is uselessly). Nevertheless, both are sure they have known each other for many years.



This so far has been in common during my few and brief connections with my duals. There is this sense of deep rooted familiarity that is unexplainable, and when the person starts stalking about themselves in some more depth there is a sense that a lot of it coincides.


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## ThatOneWeirdGuy (Nov 22, 2012)

I'd love to see the original source of the information these 'socionics researchers' found.


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

ThatOneWeirdGuy said:


> I'd love to see the original source of the information these 'socionics researchers' found.


Most of those studies are published in the "Journal of Socionics, Mentology, and Psychology of Personality". Some on the websites of the respective schools that have conducted them.


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## Valtire (Jan 1, 2014)

I don't agree with this. I'm friends with my dual, and she is fun, and easy to communicate with, but most of this never happened.

I've read on several articles that duals often pass on each other because they see each other as generic.


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## HKitty (Oct 11, 2013)

EH, it depends... I definitely start to feel an attachment to my dual (both male and female) but this only happens if I have an extended interaction with them (like a couple of hours at least). If I just pass them on the street, and we've never met before, then no, nothing. But, even if I resist (and I have sometimes) there's just something that gets "stuck inside me" for lack of a better way to put it. It can get really frustrating, sometimes... lol.
So, I think the first stage is possible. As far as the other ones, I _have_ gone through the 4th one (skipping 2 &3)... but I have to really get to know the ESTj, and I haven't known that many ESTJs that intimately, but when it happens, it can be painful actually (the separation I mean).

.............................................................
I know some have likened this to falling in love, and there are some stages (like it's a good idea to start a family or some such thing) that are really only applicable to those types of relationships, but some can apply to any dual relationship, I think.


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## Red_Setting_Sun (Jun 20, 2013)

Have never experienced anything remotely like this with duals... MBTI ESTPs. Should I doubt my Socionics type?


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

I don't pay attention to every dual but some of them stand out more than others so clearly there's more to duality than them being duals. Female SEEs stand out more than male ones also for some reason.


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## Elyasis (Jan 4, 2012)

ephemereality said:


> Based on the LIE I saw for a while, I can ascribe that a lot of this also applies to semi-dual but perhaps not as intensely. The notion of "must have known each other before" is something I can attest to. There were a lot of weird quirky things going on that really made me wonder if we've met in a different life.


I thought SLE was ILI's semi-dual? LIE being ILI's mirror. I've been attracted to a fair number of my mirrors though... I wonder is that is typical or atypical?

I also think the LIEs I've know have expected me to act like an ESI. And on some level I must be expecting them to act like a SEE. It's a weird intertype relation.

Another thing to note is that they were exclusively Ni subtype... (maybe I'm just a not so secret narcissist).


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Elyasis said:


> I thoughyield t SLE was ILI's semi-dual? LIE being ILI's mirror. I've been attracted to a fair number of my mirrors though... I wonder is that is typical or atypical?
> 
> I also think the LIEs I've know have expected me to act like an ESI. And on some level I must be expecting them to act like a SEE. It's a weird intertype relation.
> 
> Another thing to note is that they were exclusively Ni subtype... (maybe I'm just a not so secret narcissist).


I was typed as eii at the time i wrote that post.


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## Elyasis (Jan 4, 2012)

ephemereality said:


> I was typed as eii at the time i wrote that post.


That explains a lot. Not the LIE-ILI dynamic... Unless they were also mistyped by you or themselves?

I should probably check dates on posts though... even though it wouldn't have done me any good here.


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Elyasis said:


> That explains a lot. Not the LIE-ILI dynamic... Unless they were also mistyped by you or themselves?
> 
> I should probably check dates on posts though... even though it wouldn't have done me any good here.


Fairly sure the guy's an LIE-Ni though. He had too much of a macro-perspective I associate with VS logic and Te to be an ILI-Te in my opinion. Either subtype anyway.

And I don't mind LIE-Ni. Mirror partner isn't that bad, it's similar to business. The problem is the same as with quasi-identical though, in that you are both too emotionally retarded (at least when it comes to logical types) to be able to properly close that distance beyond theoretical talk anyway. It's good for work relationships and some types of friendships, but I wouldn't have an intimate relationship with one, I think. 

What subtype do you type as by the way? I wonder if an ILI-Te would find an LIE-Te easier to get along with for example.


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## Elyasis (Jan 4, 2012)

ephemereality said:


> What subtype do you type as by the way? I wonder if an ILI-Te would find an LIE-Te easier to get along with for example.


For the most part Ni subtype with some Te subtype characteristics. I vacillate between the two like tides.



ephemereality said:


> And I don't mind LIE-Ni. Mirror partner isn't that bad, it's similar to business. The problem is the same as with quasi-identical though, in that *you are both too emotionally retarded* (at least when it comes to logical types) to be able to properly *close that distance* beyond theoretical talk anyway. It's good for work relationships and some types of friendships, but I wouldn't have an intimate relationship with one, I think.


I've only ever had flirtations with LIEs. I can get sexually and mentally stimulated but we don't seem to connect on an emotional level. That's not always a problem for me though.


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Elyasis said:


> For the most part Ni subtype with some Te subtype characteristics. I vacillate between the two like tides.


Figured as much.



> I've only ever had flirtations with LIEs. I can get sexually and mentally stimulated but we don't seem to connect on an emotional level. That's not always a problem for me though.


Yes, that was our problem as well. We had a good time when discussing intellectual matters but he clearly connected more strongly to another person I am quite sure is an ethical type though I don't know what kind of type. I never got to know that person well enough to get a good type impression of him.


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## Red_Setting_Sun (Jun 20, 2013)

When I think about it, I do get these feelings sometimes, but when I do it's with ESEs, or MBTI ESFJs. While I'm 100% sure I'm an MBTI INFJ, could it be that I'm LII in Socionics? Having read the descriptions of LIIs on Wikisocion I can't say I'm convinced. Any ideas?


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