# Random friend requests - Is this 5 "stinginess"?



## suicidal_orange (May 6, 2010)

This is a situation I'm sure lots of you have found yourselves in, and most of you probably give no thought to. I speak of random "friend requests" on forums.

I received one yesterday and immediately thought "I know who that is - they're someone I offered some advice to in a thread" but instead of feeling happy that she wanted to be affiliated with me I decided that there was no point. I can't offer her any further advice and she's married and overseas so has nothing to offer me. I don't want to give even the slightest impression that I'll be there if she needs me because there's a chance that I won't be and anyone I do let in to my life I feel I should be. 

Is this unwillingness to allow people in why 5s are considered "stingy"? Are you another type and have done the same but with different reasoning?


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## Paradigm (Feb 16, 2010)

asmit127 said:


> Is this unwillingness to allow people in why 5s are considered "stingy"? Are you another type and have done the same but with different reasoning?


Well, I think similar things because, sometimes, we don't know each other nor had a direct, meaningful conversation. I tend to accept requests just because, IME, there's little to no consequence besides a larger number on my friends list. They don't really try to contact me unless they have before (PM, etc.), nor do they... "follow" me (for lack of a better term), so why not.

So... Yeah. I'll friend them but I don't think much of it. Guess FB has ruined the whole concept for most people. "Friends list" is somewhat of a misnomer recently.

PS: If I notice the list is getting too big, I start getting overwhelmed 
And I don't think I've ever friended anyone of my own volition, but I don't actively discourage it... I just don't think about it, really.


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## alionsroar (Jun 5, 2010)

I'm a 9 who is not overjoyed when I receive random friend requests.

I suppose I am not sure what they want from me. It's not like they send a note with their request. Hmm, maybe people should fill out an application -with their credit card details- before they make a friend request:tongue: I don't like uncertainty so much.
Actually maybe it is more about how it is called 'friends' list. I think I would be happier if it was called something like 'comrades' list:happy:

If I am unwilling to let people in, I wouldn't say it is so much about 'stinginess' but more about avoidance of potential conflict.


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## sleeper (Aug 26, 2010)

Fun topic. I initially feel flattered when I receive friend requests. It's always a surprise, but then when they don't talk to me or introduce themselves I think... yep, it's just like Facebook aka the real world. You only need exist these days to be a target for their numbers. Welcome to the 21st century.


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## hylogenesis (Apr 26, 2012)

I don't care for random friend requests, but I've got no reason not to accept the request that really makes sense (considering I'll hold a conversation with anyone IRL so long as they can keep my interest)...

I also have found in the past that it's easier this way...plus, the friends I do have on this forum don't bug me at all (interpret that however you want; there are a couple of different meanings contained in that phrase), so it's not like it's a big deal. 

*shrug*


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## Spades (Aug 31, 2011)

Why would you assume that their friend request was an indication that they would want your advice again? That very assumption along with your reaction to it _could_ be an indication of stinginess (of information) but not necessarily an indicator of Type 5.

There is really not much function to PerC friendships except if you only want certain people to view certain parts of your profile. I think you are reading too much into the act of sending a request. Look at my list - I add anyone and everyone I've had a positive interaction with or think is interesting =P I don't see any downsides to it.


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## suicidal_orange (May 6, 2010)

Spades said:


> Why would you assume that their friend request was an indication that they would want your advice again? That very assumption along with your reaction to it _could_ be an indication of stinginess (of information) but not necessarily an indicator of Type 5.


Why indeed! I can but say what goes through my head, and this was it. I can read as many profiles and motivation/fear lists as I like but until I can experience something myself and compare my thoughts/reactions to others in the same situation it's a complete waste of time. The stinginess of information and the fear of having more expected of me than I'm capable of seemed 5ish so I put it out there. Not enough answers yet to see patterns but I'm hopeful


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## Spades (Aug 31, 2011)

asmit127 said:


> Why indeed! I can but say what goes through my head, and this was it. I can read as many profiles and motivation/fear lists as I like but until I can experience something myself and compare my thoughts/reactions to others in the same situation it's a complete waste of time. *The stinginess of information and the fear of having more expected of me than I'm capable of seemed 5ish* so I put it out there. Not enough answers yet to see patterns but I'm hopeful


Ah yes, this is evidence for, but not proof of. Needs more data indeed.

Data: I'm a 7w6 and my reaction to friend requests everything is excitement.


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## Paradigm (Feb 16, 2010)

asmit127 said:


> Why indeed! I can but say what goes through my head, and this was it. * I can read as many profiles and motivation/fear lists as I like but until I can experience something myself and compare my thoughts/reactions to others in the same situation it's a complete waste of time.* The stinginess of information and the fear of having more expected of me than I'm capable of seemed 5ish so I put it out there. Not enough answers yet to see patterns but I'm hopeful


So you're wanting to be practical about the knowledge you're acquiring? That's not particularly high on the list of 5's priorities. Neither is comparing themselves to someone else; so/sx might be the only/main variant of 5 who does this, from reading and as a guess. 

From what I remember, you've often struck me as a 3, possibly sp/so. This is an old impression, though... Like from last year.
Sorry for the intrusion. I'll leave now and hope I didn't step on any toes.


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

Wow. I didn't realize people actually spent this much effort/time/thought over friend requests on PerC. This is like listening to someone talk about how much mayo they mix with their tuna.


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## suicidal_orange (May 6, 2010)

Spades said:


> Ah yes, this is evidence for, but not proof of. Needs more data indeed.
> 
> Data: I'm a 7w6 and my reaction to friend requests everything is excitement.


I'm not a 7w6 then :laughing: You will find page after page over the past two+ years about me in the "type me" forum if you want more data...



Paradigm said:


> So you're wanting to be practical about the knowledge you're acquiring? That's not particularly high on the list of 5's priorities. Neither is comparing themselves to someone else; so/sx might be the only/main variant of 5 who does this, from reading and as a guess.
> 
> From what I remember, you've often struck me as a 3, possibly sp/so. This is an old impression, though... Like from last year.
> Sorry for the intrusion. I'll leave now and hope I didn't step on any toes.


Well I'm still me :laughing: I don't see the line between being practical and knowledge, that's one issue. What use is having an idea in your head that's not true in the world? That's not knowledge, it's imagination. Could be because I'm a Sensor and/or because of a 6 wing which is much more grounded than a 4 one. This probably isn't the place to discuss but questioning anyone "unknown"'s type surely doesn't step on toes :happy:



Marlowe said:


> Wow. I didn't realize people actually spent this much effort/time/thought over friend requests on PerC. This is like listening to someone talk about how much mayo they mix with their tuna.


 @_Marlowe_ what is your reaction then, an instant "accept"? Are you just too young so don't remember a time before meaningless friends lists, or being an extravert you find comfort in having a big one or don't consider people online as very important? Your profile is not very revealing, so I have to ask :happy: I also find it amusing that you think I'd post this thread on the same forum as I'm ignoring a friend request on - it's not so! I'm selfish not heartless.


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

asmit127 said:


> @Marlowe what is your reaction then, an instant "accept"? Are you just too young so don't remember a time before meaningless friends lists, or being an extravert you find comfort in having a big one or don't consider people online as very important? Your profile is not very revealing, so I have to ask :happy: I also find it amusing that you think I'd post this thread on the same forum as I'm ignoring a friend request on - it's not so! I'm selfish not heartless.


So how much mayo do you use?


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## DomNapoleon (Jan 21, 2012)

I am not 'stingy' with friendship request and I have a w5. 
As a social instinct I enjoy a lot having friends and I am quiet open to them.
However it's interesting to see that I don't accept *any *request in facebook. That's because I don't look for superficial friendships or just to feed popularity - i hate that sh*t: i am not a number in your friend list. So for me what's more important is to consider the quality of interactions over the quantity.


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## 543222187 (Apr 4, 2012)

...i have a fb...with 3 friends...and I'm not their friends anymore(long distance people)...but i enjoy stalking them...as for here...i accept only if i like them in some way...be it insightful or entertaining....only exception is a nice avatar....


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## suicidal_orange (May 6, 2010)

Marlowe said:


> So how much mayo do you use?


With my tuna? None, I'm vegetarian :tongue:

I have to wonder what you're doing on a personality forum when you seem to have little interest in discussing it. You claim to be an ESTJ and a 1 - can't you at least offer a stereotypical rant about how I'm going against "the rules"?! :laughing:


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## sleepyhead (Nov 14, 2011)

Marlowe said:


> Wow. I didn't realize people actually spent this much effort/time/thought over friend requests on PerC. This is like listening to someone talk about how much mayo they mix with their tuna.


Maybe it's partly because I get so few of them, but I thought the same thing. I only use facebook to connect with IRL friends, so if I don't know you, you're not getting added. I feel no guilt or remorse about this. I'm not on facebook to see every person I went to high school with who I never even spoke with IN high school.

On PerC, most of my friends requests came from either fellow 5's and/or someone who's writing stuck out in a particular thread who shared my views. So far I've accepted all 9 requests I've gotten. Apparently seven of them are type 5's. 

But having said that, I almost never interact with anyone via PM's or on facebook messaging. I kind of feel like the friends I have on PerC are people with whom I share a common view and sense of self but we don't need to talk about it.


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## suicidal_orange (May 6, 2010)

@sleepyhead thanks for a 5s perspective :happy:

Sounds like you accept friends on here without thinking because you don't actually talk to them and your friends list actually represents more of a "people like me" list rather than anything deserving of the "friend" (as defined by me, it's a label I don't use lightly). I guess that's the "you leave me alone and I'll do the same" that is said to be a 5 thing which I can't relate at all. I'd rather know everything about the few people I do let in, which is what I thought Sx dom 5s were all about. I guess if you just partition off "PerC friends" as worthless because you have a romantic relationship this need is met...

Most of my requests come from alleged INFP 4s and I get less than the one a month you average but still nowhere near enough to actually be overwhelming. Everyone on my list I've PMed or had an extended interaction with in a thread. And unlike you I do feel guilty for not accepting random requests because I like to think of myself as capable and it exposes my fear of not being so which grates on me much more than is healthy. It's not like there's anything bad going on in my life so why can't I make myself available to lots of others should they need me?!


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## sleepyhead (Nov 14, 2011)

asmit127 said:


> @_sleepyhead_ thanks for a 5s perspective :happy:
> 
> Sounds like you accept friends on here without thinking because you don't actually talk to them and your friends list actually represents more of a "people like me" list rather than anything deserving of the "friend" (as defined by me, it's a label I don't use lightly). I guess that's the "you leave me alone and I'll do the same" that is said to be a 5 thing which I can't relate at all. I'd rather know everything about the few people I do let in, which is what I thought Sx dom 5s were all about. I guess if you just partition off "PerC friends" as worthless because you have a romantic relationship this need is met...
> 
> Most of my requests come from alleged INFP 4s and I get less than the one a month you average but still nowhere near enough to actually be overwhelming. Everyone on my list I've PMed or had an extended interaction with in a thread. And unlike you I do feel guilty for not accepting random requests because I like to think of myself as capable and it exposes my fear of not being so which grates on me much more than is healthy. It's not like there's anything bad going on in my life so why can't I make myself available to lots of others should they need me?!


It's true, online "friends" aren't usually on the same level for me as RL friends - I have very strong personal relationships in real life but online that's not what I'm looking for. However, in the past I can relate to the feeling of wanting to know all about my online friends and feel that connection but I no longer seek that kind of connection out in online communities because I have what I need IRL. 

If my online friends were needing a lot from me (attention, advice, regular, reliable interaction) than I would probably go about accepting friends a lot more cautiously but you're right, my friends list probably looks a lot more like a "people like me" list than anything.


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## Sonny (Oct 14, 2008)

Spades said:


> Ah yes, this is evidence for, but not proof of. Needs more data indeed.
> 
> Data: I'm a 7w6 and my reaction to friend requests everything is excitement.


Lol. That's what I love about 7s, excitement is contagious.

For data's sake I'm a 9 and think "they like me? Omg they like me! <3"


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## Navi (Jul 8, 2012)

I'm an INTP 5w6, and no, I really don't give that much of a damn about requests, really. 
Maybe it's because I'm the initiator, due to the fact that I haven't really put myself _out _there and I'm a bit more quiet. But if I get a request, why not? Maybe in the future, I'll talk to them a lot more and share information and have someone to discuss my theories with. :tongue:


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

The Perc friends' list is more a list for different types of people (based on interaction levels)--1. people I am somewhat close to 2. people I term as 'acquaintances' 3. People I find interesting, whether or not we chat often, though I have most likely interacted with them 4. People who find me interesting and send me a request, whether or not I have interacted with them much. It doesn't bother me, because I don't take the term "friends" list literally. And, OP, isn't it presumptuous to assume that someone is friending you only because they want your advice? Surely, they could easily ask your advice on the public forum or via PM (which doesn't require that you have that person on your list).

I understand being selective, but that advice point struck me as rather odd. And yeah, I find that that introverts, in general, are more hesitant to add too many people on and overwhelm themselves with excessive social interaction.


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## Kito (Jan 6, 2012)

I'm not a great fan of them but I accept them anyway. But if we haven't talked in months then I might remove them. Actually, the reason I removed some of my inactive friends was because they had no avatars and it looked ugly on my profile page...


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## suicidal_orange (May 6, 2010)

@_Boss_ much like when we last attempted to discuss something it seems we're talking in very different languages at times, languages which just happen to consist of the same letters in the same order. The way I attempt to communicate what's going on in my head with a single possibility/example may come across as presumptuous but unless you want an essay (which you don't - you have a busy life) it's the best I can do.

Whether someone who I have chosen to allow in to my life (yes, I take my friends list far more seriously than everyone else if this thread is anything to go by) wants advice, help proofreading an assignment or just someone to talk to or play an online game with because they're bored (or any of the many other possibilities I trust people to consider for themselves without me spelling them out because they too have online friends) the point is that the probably non existant expectation that I'll be there is a problem for me. 

If someone wants my advice and posts a thread I can ignore it and if someone who I've not "let in" sends me a PM I can be brief without much guilt but once they're on the list that's it, I feel a responsibility towards them. I don't feel capable of being there for lots of people so I'm very hesitant and this sounded like a 5 issue.


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## ImminentThunder (May 15, 2011)

You really put this much thought into that? 

I have a 5 wing, and I don't mind random friend requests. *shrug* If someone wants to be my friend, then yay, friends!

Like @_sleeper_, I'm actually very flattered when someone sends me a request. 

I tend to send friend requests to most people that I talk to. Why not? It's good to get to know people better. If they accept it, great; if they don't, it doesn't really matter to me.

I really like online friendships as I can type out what I'm going to say without the discomfort of face-to-face interaction, which I'm terrible at. Of course, I still try to make real-life friends as I know that I need to improve with practice.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

@asmit217

That sounds more like a superego type issue than a 5 issue. Feeling a sense of guilt/responsibility towards helping people you've let in to your world is not very 5-like. I don't think people online, esp. if they are complete strangers, expect you to be there for them the way you're describing.

And yes, you have an excellent memory. I do have a busy life.


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## Chipps (Jun 1, 2011)

friend requests can annoy me as well. But I think its a bit of a self pres thing. Even on FB I have like 5 people still in limbo over a friends request. Its like "I have to click accept over a person I barely even know?" Ugh, energy drain. >___> so I guess thats pretty extreme. Also, I just don't like having a lot of people near me in the first place. Even if its online or just a friend request. I dont have a logical reason to be annoyed, but it does cause me to feel a little burdened.


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## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

Chipps said:


> friend requests can annoy me as well. But I think its a bit of a self pres thing. Even on FB I have like 5 people still in limbo over a friends request. Its like "I have to click accept over a person I barely even know?" Ugh, energy drain. >___> so I guess thats pretty extreme. Also, I just don't like having a lot of people near me in the first place. Even if its online or just a friend request. I dont have a logical reason to be annoyed, but it does cause me to feel a little burdened.


I don't know if this is a Sp thing, cause I can relate to what you're saying. I get pissed off when people I don't know or am not close to, add me as a friend and don't even end up interacting with me. It's like, what the hell is the purpose? Especially here on PerC, you can PM & VM anyone (unless they change their settings).

I _loathe _the idea of having like 200 friends or so. I like to keep it to two digits, and once it goes over 20 I go back and purge my friend list :laughing:


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## Chipps (Jun 1, 2011)

kaleidoscope said:


> I don't know if this is a Sp thing, cause I can relate to what you're saying. I get pissed off when people I don't know or am not close to, add me as a friend and don't even end up interacting with me. It's like, what the hell is the purpose? Especially here on PerC, you can PM & VM anyone (unless they change their settings).
> 
> I _loathe _the idea of having like 200 friends or so. I like to keep it to two digits, and once it goes over 20 I go back and purge my friend list :laughing:


Im at 25. Its freaking me the hell out. I imagine So doms probably have the most. >____> this is why I cant stand being around So doms IRL. They know everyone. Everywhere you go with them, they know someone. I dont understand spreading yourself so thin. It makes me sick to think about. Ugh, I think im gonna need 8 hours of alone time after this conversation.lol


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## perfectcircle (Jan 5, 2011)

Interesting reaction. 
People can offer non physical or non-thought based things. Connections. Those alone provide things to people, even the smaller links. From my perspective, one of the points of life to form connections with people, and these connections can be more reprsentative, non-literal, I don't know exactly the word. It's the same reason I wave hi to all my neighbors when we pass eachother on the road even though we never talk. To prune connections, just in case, or even if there never is a 'case', to let other peopel know you're there. To just show you like eachother. To just say hi.
I accept all friend requests on PerC, because here I am fairly open with my thoughts. If someone I never spoke to adds me, and it happens quite often , I accept them, because I LOSE nothing by accepting them. It's mostly just a symbolic gesture. And they can also know if they ever want to messsage me they can.

However I understand the reaction in real life. In real life I cut people out who may try ot drain my resources if I don't actually like them or feel any reciprocal energy going back and forth. I will not accept friend requests on facebook if we aren't actually connected in some real way.. but I suspect my sense of connection is different than yours, becaues for me, "I helped them out and it made them feel good, now we have good energy and they want to be facebook friends" is good enough.


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## perfectcircle (Jan 5, 2011)

Chipps said:


> Im at 25. Its freaking me the hell out. I imagine So doms probably have the most. >____> this is why I cant stand being around So doms IRL. They know everyone. Everywhere you go with them, they know someone. I dont understand spreading yourself so thin. It makes me sick to think about. Ugh, I think im gonna need 8 hours of alone time after this conversation.lol


LOL SO dom here with 88 "friends".
And it irritates my friends whenever we go out bceause people come up and hug me and I have to stop and talk to them and take away my attention to the friend I'm going out with. I have other So dom friends and I know to wait. To us maintaining that wide circle is important. But i've actually LOST Sx/sp or sp/sx friends over this because they think I am not attending to their friendship enough and I'm too easy in my affections.
That's funny, I've never thought of friends being related to instict type. Your point is taken.

However, I know some infp sx/sp who has more friends than me. Sometimes people just accept friend requests on PerC bceause they come with no terms of commitement and don't involve any further engagement, so someone wants to be frieds with you, cool, you're flattered, accept, and forget about it.


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## Helios (May 30, 2012)

I'm an sp/sx and I have quite a few friends here actually. I don't care how many or how few friends are in my friends list, it's merely a number after all. Accepting a friend request is no big deal, but there are some users I just gravitate towards more often than others. It's somewhat similar in real life.

As far as the subject of accepting or rejecting of random friend requests goes, it can be related to "5 stinginess" if the motivations are there. Otherwise this could be true for someone of another type.


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## Chipps (Jun 1, 2011)

adverseaffects said:


> LOL SO dom here with 88 "friends".
> And it irritates my friends whenever we go out bceause people come up and hug me and I have to stop and talk to them and take away my attention to the friend I'm going out with. I have other So dom friends and I know to wait. To us maintaining that wide circle is important. But i've actually LOST Sx/sp or sp/sx friends over this because they think I am not attending to their friendship enough and I'm too easy in my affections.
> That's funny, I've never thought of friends being related to instict type. Your point is taken.


God yes. Lol, So doms give their attention and affection away like candy. So, I decide that their attention towards me doesnt mean much, thus there is little point in keeping a relationship. I obviously value the connection more, so the connection is worthless to me. I always see So doms as having really superficial relationships because from my perspective, there is no way to have a deep, well connected relationship with that many people. Its just not possible.


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## perfectcircle (Jan 5, 2011)

Boss said:


> @asmit217
> 
> That sounds more like a superego type issue than a 5 issue. Feeling a sense of guilt/responsibility towards helping people you've let in to your world is not very 5-like. I don't think people online, esp. if they are complete strangers, expect you to be there for them the way you're describing.
> 
> And yes, you have an excellent memory. I do have a busy life.


Hmmm 5w6???


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## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

adverseaffects said:


> LOL SO dom here with 88 "friends".
> And it irritates my friends whenever we go out bceause people come up and hug me and I have to stop and talk to them and take away my attention to the friend I'm going out with.


OMG I have a friend who constantly does that. Needless to say, it pisses me OFF :laughing:

Like @Chipps said, I need to be friends with someone who doesn't give away their attention like candy. I have to feel like a speshul snowflake dammit!


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## perfectcircle (Jan 5, 2011)

kaleidoscope said:


> OMG I have a friend who constantly does that. Needless to say, it pisses me OFF :laughing:
> 
> Like @Chipps said, I need to be friends with someone who doesn't give away their attention like candy. I have to feel like a speshul snowflake dammit!


The thing is, when I'm doing good, I can see the good qualities in most people. It's not a matter of me loving all of them, just helping them and showing them what I need to. Surface-y relationships aren't usless to me, because they can help people, and bring out the best in people. In this atmosphere we can all belong and share our good qualities. And mix around you know? I guess point is, there isn't a baseline to be friendly or "friends" with me. As long as you are tolerable and like me ok, I can like you. But that doesn't mean you MATTER or that I'm close with these people. the sense of "group connection and social sharing" is very different from my sense of "intimacy".

But because my secondary is Sx, my special freinds are a different story. I show them everything and want to show them everything. I try to be FAIR and gracefully inclusive to everyone, but I try to be LOYAL and close, protective, and attatched with strong "love" or "intiamcy" feelings to the people who have engaged the Sx part.

However, I don't like being forced to make impossible choices. It makes me sad when by close friends can't see they are special to me in a way the others aren't.

I see my relatioships as a visual. I believe there are certain ways to behave, to be polite, engaging, tactful, compassionate with others. I like to find out their qualities and if they are damaged or lonely, validate their good points. I am also aware what a lot of people feel is intimate to me is nothing xD Anyways, so these people are just on the outer rim of a big circle. Then there's another smaller circle, not too small though, in the middle. These people i may go out of my way to see or care for, and there's more a sense of loyalty. I still protect parts ofmyself from them. Then there's a smaller circle where i feel there is mutual soul sharing, loyality, and I want them in my life forever. When these friends see my with the outer fringe people, I hope they realize the affection they see is not the same affection. It has ntohing to do with my heart, at least not in the same way.


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## Chipps (Jun 1, 2011)

kaleidoscope said:


> OMG I have a friend who constantly does that. Needless to say, it pisses me OFF :laughing:
> 
> Like @_Chipps_ said, I need to be friends with someone who doesn't give away their attention like candy. I have to feel like a speshul snowflake dammit!


Amen. I could also never have an SO that wasnt sp/sx stacking. So absolutely has to be last for me to get along with someone long term. Those So/Sp and So/sx's will never understand the plight of the sp/sx or sx/sp. I wonder how comment certain stackings are.


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## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

Chipps said:


> Amen. I could also never have an SO that wasnt sp/sx stacking. So absolutely has to be last for me to get along with someone long term. Those So/Sp and So/sx's will never understand the plight of the sp/sx or sx/sp. I wonder how common certain stackings are.


I think Sx/So is rarest, followed by Sx/Sp and Sp/Sx. Then you have So/Sx, then Sp/So and So/Sp (not sure which is more common of the last two) :laughing:


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## Chipps (Jun 1, 2011)

adverseaffects said:


> The thing is, when I'm doing good, I can see the good qualities in most people. It's not a matter of me loving all of them, just helping them and showing them what I need to. Surface-y relationships aren't usless to me, because they can help people, and bring out the best in people. In this atmosphere we can all belong and share our good qualities. And mix around you know? I guess point is, there isn't a baseline to be friendly or "friends" with me. As long as you are tolerable and like me ok, I can like you. But that doesn't mean you MATTER or that I'm close with these people. the sense of "group connection and social sharing" is very different from my sense of "intimacy".
> 
> But because my secondary is Sx, my special freinds are a different story. I show them everything and want to show them everything. I try to be FAIR and gracefully inclusive to everyone, but I try to be LOYAL and close, protective, and attatched with strong "love" or "intiamcy" feelings to the people who have engaged the Sx part.
> 
> ...


As an Sp/Sx, the way I see it:

Energy, time, attention, resources (i.e. helping) should be a.)reserved for later use or b.) expended on someone you are close to.


>___> i couldnt fathom spending one ounce of energy on a person I wasnt really close to. Not even for a second.:laughing:

And, I dont even know why it irks me when So-firsts do it. There is not logical reason. Its not my time or energy, but it is still annoying to me.:laughing:


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## voicetrocity (Mar 31, 2012)

Chipps said:


> As an Sp/Sx, the way I see it:
> 
> Energy, time, attention, resources (i.e. helping) should be a.)reserved for later use or b.) expended on someone you are close to.
> 
> ...


As another sp/sx, I endorse this, lol.

I'm not big on letting people into my inner circle- I keep access to my FB under lock and key. Though, once your on my friends list, you see everything- _(FB is where I let me Ne run wild)_. I'm a little bit stingy with friend requests here; I certainly haven't gone out and sent many requests; and the ones I do receive, get held for a little bit (I've even denied some, because I couldn't figure out why I'd want to be on their list)


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## Chipps (Jun 1, 2011)

kaleidoscope said:


> I think Sx/So is rarest, followed by Sx/Sp and Sp/Sx. Then you have So/Sx, then Sp/So and So/Sp (not sure which is more common of the last two) :laughing:


Makes sense. No wonder I have a difficult time finding people who get "it". I actually know quite a few So/Sp or Sp/So and I find them rather boring. Though, I find Sx doms overbearing as well. I need to go to the land of the Sp/Sx.


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

Marlowe said:


> Wow. I didn't realize people actually spent this much effort/time/thought over friend requests on PerC. This is like listening to someone talk about how much mayo they mix with their tuna.


Hahahahaha.

Well, I like making new friends in search for another strong close friendship, but if I feel a friendship wont happen, I tend to not to accept it. Then again, I'd feel mean not accepting :/


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## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

Chipps said:


> Makes sense. No wonder I have a difficult time finding people who get "it". I actually know quite a few So/Sp or Sp/So and I find them rather boring. Though, I find Sx doms overbearing as well. I need to go to the land of the Sp/Sx.


I knew it! I knew I didn't compare to @Boss :crying:


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## Chipps (Jun 1, 2011)

kaleidoscope said:


> I knew it! I knew I didn't compare to @_Boss_ :crying:



True. Lol. J/k.


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## suicidal_orange (May 6, 2010)

Crono91 said:


> Hahahahaha.
> 
> Well, I like making new friends in search for another strong close friendship, but if I feel a friendship wont happen, I tend to not to accept it. Then again, I'd feel mean not accepting :/


Of all the replies so far this is the closest to my own reaction. I really do want more real friendships but the fear I'll fail them when shit hits the fan means I don't give them the chance, then I feel mean for rejecting them and consider myself less friend-worthy...


All this stuff about variants in isolation from type is either plain wrong or you're all "friendly" types - So dom 5s are said to be elitist in their social circle and to enjoy sharing their knowledge so I'm sure the idea of 88 friends and talking to meaningless "friends" in the street would still appal them :laughing:

@Boss 5w6 was suggested, might that be enough super-ego influence?


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

The way you described it, I don't see it aligning with core 5, regardless of wing, as much as I do with 2/6.


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Yes. I somehow seem to accept random requests on here and Bleach Asylum though but Facebook and last.fm no way. I think that's because the reasons seem to be even more arbitrary (randomly finding me or adding me because we like the same music). I don't question their reasons though. I just find it to be more of an annoyance/inconvenience, especially if there was indeed no sp/sx connection to them.

If there was an established connection already though, I don't really mind. I find that people always tend to add me on here and BA if there was a connection for most of the part. Or, which is something I've come to learn even though I still have issues accepting it, I tend to develop a circle of fans that like to read my posts on the fora I participate on :bored:

Most of them lurkers but they tend to want to associate to me by being "friends" although I think "fan" is a better term to describe most of them :laughing: Which is weird considering that I don't see what makes me and my posts so special... I can only think of the secondary sx doing it.


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

I feel like a lot of people on here are turning it into a numbers game. They friend request as many people as they can, compliment as many people as they can, in hopes one will respond positively in order to start a friendship. That's nice and all, but it loses its authenticity. 

And a friendship is nothing bu authentic roud:


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## Arclight (Feb 10, 2010)

The sting of rejection. I have felt it.. I am sure we all have. 
This is why I just accept random friend requests.


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

Arclight said:


> The sting of rejection. I have felt it.. I am sure we all have.
> This is why I just accept random friend requests.


Hmmmm...dares to send a request? Or not to? The questionsssssssssss!


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## Flatlander (Feb 25, 2012)

Crono91 said:


> I feel like a lot of people on here are turning it into a numbers game. They friend request as many people as they can, compliment as many people as they can, in hopes one will respond positively in order to start a friendship. That's nice and all, but it loses its authenticity.


Consider that there's an award point rewarded for reaching different amounts of friends, too. XD 

The only fuss here, for me, would be if I had stuff on my profile I didn't want to share with non-friends. Stuff like that I'd take to PM in the first place, removing it from the message stream, so I just keep the messages open and accept friendship requests..there's no harm in it.


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

Flatlander said:


> Consider that there's an award point rewarded for reaching different amounts of friends, too. XD
> 
> The only fuss here, for me, would be if I had stuff on my profile I didn't want to share with non-friends. Stuff like that I'd take to PM in the first place, removing it from the message stream, so I just keep the messages open and accept friendship requests..there's no harm in it.


My J is kind of mean, so I don't like having a lot of random people on my friends list if I'm not actually going to talk to them--it just looks messy to me xD If they are going to friend me, they better beware of a PM coming their way haha.


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## suicidal_orange (May 6, 2010)

Arclight said:


> The sting of rejection. I have felt it.. I am sure we all have.
> This is why I just accept random friend requests.


I have not, online at least. That's probably because I've only sent one friend request and that was to someone who sent me one before the forum went down and reverted to a backup before she had :laughing: Pretty sure that's cheating though...


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