# So, what makes you Defensive?



## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

I am interested in knowing what makes different types feel defensive. And, I am also interested in knowing if what makes you defensive ties in with the Enneagram Defense Mechanism specific to your type. If so, how? If not, are you able to correlate feelings of defensiveness (their causes) with defense mechanisms of other types? 

For example, an 8's defense mechanism of denial may cause them to get defensive if someone were to violate an emotional boundary that makes them feel vulnerable. So, *answer the following*:

1. What's your type? Feel free to share variant and tritype. 

2. Provide a list of what makes you defensive (situations, behaviours etc.). 

3. And then if possible, address ,generally or specifically, if any of this relates to Enneagram defense systems for your type or other types. 

I think we can all look into what triggers our defensiveness, reflect on it and come away wiser as well as more able to open up our hearts, forgive ourselves as well as others and live more fully. 


Information on Enneagram Defense Mechanisms can be found here:


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*
II.Here is a brief description of the nine defense systems. The first phrase involves the defense mechanism, as in "Ones use reaction formation" followed by the avoidance pattern and the idealization. 
*


1) *Ones* use *reaction formation* to avoid anger (i.e. direct anger) and stay in control of their feelings and instincts in order to maintain a self image of being right. Reaction formation is feeling one thing and then expressing the opposite or at least something unrelated, such as feeling resentful but acting nice, feeling a need to rest but working harder. The relentless demand of the inner critic to be good and do good at all times replaces personal needs and shuts down feelings.



2) *Twos* use *repression *of personal needs and feelings to avoid being needy and to maintain a self image of being helpful. Repression is putting one's "unacceptable" feelings and impulses out of awareness by converting them into a more acceptable kind of emotional energy. Self-esteem depends on winning the approval of others. This can take the form of being overly nice, flattering people, and a superficial friendliness. Or it can show up as an attitude of entitlement. Their genuine need for connection takes the form of "you need me."


3) *Threes* use *identification *to avoid failure and maintain a self image of being successful. Identification is stepping into a role so completely that Threes lose contact with who they are inside. The pressure to keep up a winning image prevents access to personal feelings and needs. Attention goes to the external environment: the tasks to be done and the expectations of other people. Threes find it very difficult to drop the role, or drop the image, since they get so much positive reinforcement in a society that values achievement and success.



4)* Fours* use *introjection* to avoid ordinariness and maintain a self image of being authentic. Positive introjection is an attempt to overcome the feeling of deficiency by seeking value from an idealized experience, work or relationship and internalizing this through the emotional center. This also leads to negative introjection: Fours tend blame themselves for whatever goes wrong in personal relationships. Their experience of loss or abandonment can take form inside as a self-rejecting voice (a negative introject) which leads to pervasive feelings of unworthiness. 



5) *Fives* use *isolation* to avoid the experience of inner emptiness and maintain a self image of being knowledgeable. Isolation can be physical withdrawal from others, but it also means withdrawing on the inside from one's emotions and staying up in the head. Acquiring knowledge becomes a way to create safety and self worth, but an over-emphasis on the intellect prevents Fives from connecting with the life force in their bodies and the support available in relationship with others. 



6) *Sixes* use *projection* to avoid rejection and to maintain a self image of being loyal. Projection is a way of attributing to others what one can't accept in oneself, both positive and negative. Positive feelings are projected onto a romantic relationship or an external authority figure in order to assure safety and justify loyalty. Negative feelings are projected onto others to justify internal feelings of fear and distrust. Sixes support their projections by finding and amplifying the information which fits their premise.



7) *Sevens* use *rationalization* to avoid suffering and to maintain a self image of being OK. Rationalization is a way of staying in the head, explaining away or justifying things in order to distance from painful feelings and refuse to take responsibility for their behavior. Everything can be re-framed towards the positive. Their ability to think of new options and possibilities allows Sevens to leave the present moment with its limitations and live in a seemingly unlimited future.



8) *Eights* use *denial* to avoid vulnerability and to maintain a self image of being strong. Denial means to power up in the body center and forcefully re-direct energy and attention through willfulness and control. Vulnerable feelings are automatically put away and not experienced. Emotional energy is reduced, while instinctual energy is increased. Receptivity necessarily involves some vulnerability, so Eights seek to impact the world and other people rather than be receptive to them.


9) *Nines* use *narcotization* to avoid conflict and to maintain a self image of being comfortable or harmonious. Narcotization is using food and drink, entertainment, or simply repetitive patterns of thinking and doing to "put oneself to sleep". Even productive activities can keep Nines narcotized if they become too habitual. Avoiding conflict with others keeps Nines from being fully present in relationships. Avoiding internal conflict leads to inertia and self-forgetting.




P.S. Thanks @_wittyfool_ for starting the type 8 thread. Twas a good idea.


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## RepairmanMan Man (Jan 21, 2012)

@Boss*

1. What's your type? Feel free to share variant and tritype. *
Check signature

*2. Provide a list of what makes you defensive (situations, behaviours etc.). *
I consider "defensive" to mean that angry emotion you get when someone's about to touch on something you don't want them to. The stuff that makes me feel defensive is, for once, fairly stereotypical:
- When I'm doing something I'm not supposed to and someone starts getting too close/asking questions
- When I feel like someone is going to uncover all my secrets 
- When I start feeling like a stereotype.
- When someone tells me to do something and I don't want to.

*3. And then if possible, address ,generally or specifically, if any of this relates to Enneagram defense systems for your type or other types.*
I'm sure someone will point out how much I'm "projecting" my fears onto others when I get defensive--I would have guessed we all did that, but I don't particularly identify with how it's spelled out in the *spoiler alert*. I identify much more with reaction formation, though, (not necessarily in this context, but of all the defenses listed, that's the one).


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## PyrLove (Jun 6, 2010)

I haven't yet decided on my enneagram type (likely 5 or 9, opinions welcome btw).

I think of 'defensive' as 'needing to defend myself' -- an aggressive, outward push of energy to remove whatever triggered the surge in emotion -- versus a defense mechanism which, in my case, is detachment.

Things that make me defense, i.e. get my dander up, include:
* Black and white blanket statements made by self-righteous individuals who believe their way is the only possible right way. For example, "Marriage is for pro-creation only therefore gay marriage is wrong." (A statement made by someone who is, ironically, in a childless, heterosexual marriage.)
* Adult temper tantrums (by anyone but my SO)
* Being told how to raise my child. I often hear from relatives that my daughter is too isolated, on the computer too much, or anti-social.
* Statements that express unfounded outrage and are, imo, ignorant of cultural realities (regarding the Newtown CT shootings: Americans care more about American children).
* Essentially any statement directed toward me that indicates that the speaker believes him/herself to be my superior and is attempting to coerce me into a particular behavior or belief.

Things that cause detachment, i.e. withdrawal, disengagement from individuals in my life sometimes to the point of moving away from physical contact and refusing eye contact; often includes ignoring emails, texts, phone calls, etc.
* Anger exhibited by my SO (a trained behavior rather than innate)
* Attempted conversations about my previous marriage
* Any expression of concern for me made by anyone
* Malicious teasing, or teasing with the intention of getting me to explode
* Essentially, anything that threatens to trigger my deeper held, more negative emotions

Detachment is typical of a 5 but avoiding conflict (i.e speaking up for _myself_) is typical of a 9. I don't have an issue with defending others (tho I don't go out of my way to do so) or with defending my morals, intelligence, or professional skill.


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## dreamermiki (Aug 8, 2012)

i'm a 7w6 (tritype 739)

and i think i get the most defensive if anyone tries to push me to do something. i don't like if anyone is bossy around me, i'll gladly do favors but only if they ask me in the right manner, otherwise i'll try to stay friendly. in most cases i find myself saying stuff like 'i'll do it, but just not now!' xD and i really do it, but it's not very pleasing for me! xD
also i can't stand if people have super limited views. i know everyone has their own opinion but if someone comes up with 'gay is wrong.' i get really upset ! xD also everything which makes me feel uncomfortable automatically make me more defensive.


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## Shadowlight (Dec 12, 2012)

Possible Stereotype Alert: When my knowledge and/or world view is questioned and/or rejected without being properly listened to.


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## Tater Tot (May 28, 2012)

1. 3w2 7w6 9w1 idk my variant

2. I don't get defensive. That's such a 9 thing to say though "LOL I DON'T GET ANGRY" I guess it depends on what your definition of defensive is. I mean if somebody attacks me or belittles me and it's uncalled for then I'll fight back but I wouldn't consider it defending myself, it's just explaining what they have wrong rofl! Or if somebody embarrasses me - actually yeah I might get defensive. Like if they insulted me in front of a bunch of people and embarrassed me and think they can get away with it I'll get defensive. And whenever somebody else gets defensive, I'll get defensive. Like if somebody else gets mad, I get mad. So maybe I do get defensive sometimes. 

3. Reading the defense mechanisms and everything I don't really see anything that completely fits me.  Other than the 7 and the whole "Explaining away" thing.


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## DomNapoleon (Jan 21, 2012)

Boss said:


> 1. What's your type? Feel free to share variant and tritype.


6w7>4w3>1w2 Sx/Sp 




> 2. Provide a list of what makes you defensive (situations, behaviours etc.).


-Criticism: I get too bloody defensive with it - I can tolerate it initially, but with time I shit just gets personal. Sorry, it's bigger than me. My reactions can vary a lot: since trying to improve myself *(=>reaction formation) *to getting offensive *(=>as consequence: Projection issues) *or apathetic . 

-Groups of people: I don't feel well in groups of many individuals (my limit is 3 persons); I shut myself down in them retreating into my head *(=>isolation)* and thinking 'Well... I shoulda have been in home -.-' 

-Bullies, aggressive/manipulative/rude people: I have a peculiar way to deal with those persons, they made me get very defensive and in alert mode, but I don't show it (please, that's what they wanted...) I wait for the perfect occasion to attack, if I feel I can't win; If they made any injustice in front of me, then I immediately react. I can't feel controlled, dominated or manipulated - If I feel someone tries to do this with me I will resent, start ignoring the person *(=>reaction formation?)* and show him/her I want to do things in my way (even if I get disrespectful or too rude) *(=>some denial)*. 

-People who grab themselves, who made appear bigger than what they are (lol, I have no problem with healthy 3s, but average-unhealthy ones annoy the hell out of me): I just ignore them or trat them as normal persons *(=> reaction formation) *and don't give them what they search - attention. 

-Highly traditional people, people who just do what they were taught to, who don't search for better solutions: Beh I can't stand tradition or highly rigid systems. I also don't understand why some people just seem to conform to what they have: to live is to change, so let's search for the best option *(=>Rationalization?)* Besides I need an outlet for creativity, which seems to annoy SJ users : ( 

-People who follow the sheep, the mainstream, the group: I wasn't born to be in the group and I would rather stand apart from it *(=> I use introjection a lot as a consequence)*

-Doctors, hospitals, negative places full of suffering: I try to avoid them as maximum as I can *(=> And consequently I am fairly in tune with Rationalization)
*



> 3. And then if possible, address ,generally or specifically, if any of this relates to Enneagram defense systems for your type or other types.


*Answered above 
*I don't understand Narcotization at all.  
The other defense mechanisms less used by myself are denial and repression.


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## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

*1. What's your type? Feel free to share variant and tritype. *

4w3 Sx/So. 468 is probably my tritype.

* 2. Provide a list of what makes you defensive (situations, behaviours etc.). *

I'm defensive when someone twists my words, or is convinced that I'm doing something for a certain reason when it's* entirely* not the case. It makes my blood boil when people assign motives to what I say or do, or claim to know how I feel or think, especially when nothing I say changes their mind. I think I get more aggressive than defensive here, though. 

Directly related to that is when people think they know me, and are pretentious enough to try to guess how I'd react to something. I get even _more _defensive when they're right 

When someone realizes that I'm not really as confident or sure of myself or *insert quality* as the image I project. I can instantly tell when they do, and I get very defensive, closed off. 

* 3. And then if possible, address, generally or specifically, if any of this relates to Enneagram defense systems for your type or other types.*

Not really.. I don't see much of a correlation, but if anyone does feel free to suggest


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## heaveninawildflower (Feb 5, 2012)

_*1.What's your type? Feel free to share variant and tritype.

*_4w5 sp/sx_*

2. Provide a list of what makes you defensive (situations, behaviours etc.). 
*_
Anyone who trespasses into my life.
Becoming overwhelmed by people, or a difficult situation. I will go into isolation mode.


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## goastfarmer (Oct 20, 2010)

The word defensive. 

...Okay, I will try to answer more seriously later.


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## All in Twilight (Oct 12, 2012)

kaleidoscope said:


> *1. What's your type? Feel free to share variant and tritype. *
> 
> 4w3 Sx/So. 468 is probably my tritype.
> 
> ...


Could this also be an ENFP thing? It makes my blood boil as well. We are so used to Te (asking an X amount of questions first to get a feel for what's really going on until we have narrowed it down)


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## Sonny (Oct 14, 2008)

*1. What's your type? Feel free to share variant and tritype. *

9w8 So/Sx

*2. Provide a list of what makes you defensive (situations, behaviours etc.).* 

Anything that causes doubt results in me getting defensive, although tbh I am very rarely fully unguarded.

The most effective and instant way to flick on my defensive switch is to show me aggression or anger. I will shut that shit down before you can blink! I will be hyper aware (even while looking uninterested), I will be taking everything in, looking for threats, looking at the inter-dynamics between everyone, who else may get involved, will someone get upset, will someone throw a punch, will I be dragged in. I guess doing things that are more stereotypical of 6s, as my disintegration point.

Deceit will also result in defensiveness, I can easily see manipulation when someone tries it on

Other than that when feeling defensive I shut down, withdraw, don't let people in. This can be emotionally or physically. I have been known to simply ignore someone who is triggering my guard to activate harder.

*3. And then if possible, address ,generally or specifically, if any of this relates to Enneagram defense systems for your type or other types. *

I have always related strongly to 8 triggers of vulnerability causing defensiveness, emotional vulnerability or lack of independence in particular will bother me a lot. Allowing myself to be vulnerable is about the hardest thing I can do.

I relate to the 5, 8 and 9 write ups in the OP.

I think my So dom (or maybe it's just Fe) shows in that I tend to keep a focus on the inter-dynamics around me, to know who is on edge and what the individual and group emotions are so that I can counter if needed.


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## Doll (Sep 6, 2012)

*1. What's your type? Feel free to share variant and tritype. 

*4w3 sx/so 
tritype: 4w3 - 9w1 - 7w6

*2. Provide a list of what makes you defensive (situations, behaviours etc.). 

*Defensive. Okay. I would say... I get defensive when someone presumes to understand something about me when they have no reasoning behind it and I know it's not based on logic - but personal feelings. I get defensive when I'm misunderstood, whether it be because of something I've said or something I've done - simply because it's not at all true, not even because it's negative. For example: if I compliment someone without anything else behind it but good intentions, but they question my sincerity, it irritates me. If they question it and I'm actually not being sincere, I'm not irritated. Someone "guessing" my true intentions and being completely wrong about it just frustrates me. At the end of the day, though, I tend to turn this internal and then blame myself for giving off a false impression and "causing" that person to think that in some indirect way.

I can also (on a lesser scale) become defensive of a close friend or my SO if someone is being insensitive or unnecessarily harsh and insulting. They have to be a very good friend, though, for me to reach that point. Otherwise I'll just stay out of it.

*3. And then if possible, address ,generally or specifically, if any of this relates to Enneagram defense systems for your type or other types.* 

...I don't know. I think it might be an image thing, but only partly. I think it relates to the 4s idea that no one can possibly identify with them, and yet the 3s need to identify with someone, and this conflict that is constantly recurring in their environment.


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## sodden (Jul 20, 2009)

I'm not defensive!

I guess when someone presumes to speak for me, that makes me defensive, like "Well, we see it this way or you're like this..." I'll pretty much immediately come in saying, "speak for yourself. _I_ see it _this_ way." I can't stand it when someone speaks for me.

When I'm criticized I get pretty defensive. When I'm applauded I can get defensive, too, if I don't think what I did is all that. Like, _well it's not that great. 

_If I feel like people are tossing obligations on me/expecting me to do stuff that gets me defensive, too. 

Guess what it boils down to is I very much believe in having the freedom to do what I want when I want, to think what I want and to feel what I want. So when that feels infringed on in some way I get defensive. (This isn't to imply I won't be selfless and generous, I just want to do it on my own terms.)

Hmm, but I think being defensive as I'm perceiving it isn't the same as defending yourself in the way you mention. I guess I'm thinking reactive vs defensive.

I'll have to think about it but right off the bat I can say I definitely do both introjection and narcotization plenty. I also reframe things a lot, which I guess is a seven deal. I do this especially with others when they are being overly negative, I reframe and point out the positive. I also withdraw and isolate myself a lot.


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## Jewl (Feb 28, 2012)

1. What's your type? Feel free to share variant and tritype. 

Haha, unknown, simply because I'm trying to be careful and not be hasty -- because I've just figured out some important things about myself that I did not know before. And I'm also just trying to "check" myself and make sure I'm not just doing some weird subconscious thing.  



> 2. Provide a list of what makes you defensive (situations, behaviours etc.).


When it comes to being defensive, it often happens internally in mental chatter. If somebody brings something up that makes the Inner Dragon rear up, I bite my tongue immediately and tell myself to stop -- I noticed that an internal "smothering" of my own feelings is rather habitual. But anyways, strangely enough, the one thing that makes me "defensive" and contradict myself within my own mind is as soon as I "allow" myself to say: "It wasn't my fault." "You did a good job." Stuff like that. I will instantly contradict myself. "It has to have been my fault." "I had to have some bad things in that job I did." I don't know if that's defensive. XD But I thought I might mention it. 

If somebody brings up past problems I had, or even worse, tells me I've still got those problems and did nothing about them. Opens old wounds. It makes me want to shout at them to just stop. It makes me feel like the scum of the earth. 



> 3. And then if possible, address ,generally or specifically, if any of this relates to Enneagram defense systems for your type or other types.


Haha, not sure. ^^' 



> I think we can all look into what triggers our defensiveness, reflect on it and come away wiser as well as more able to open up our hearts, forgive ourselves as well as others and live more fully.


Oh man. If I do not feel forgiven by other people, I find it near impossible to forgive myself. Sometimes I just feel like apologizing for myself ahead of time. Like, "I know I'm going to fail sometime in the near future, and I'm sorry, and I just hope when that time comes you'll be able to forgive me." Terrible, awful feelings like guilt are ginormous motivators. 

Guilt being #1. Guilt can make me defensive and vulnerable and a lot of things at the same time. 



> 1) *Ones* use *reaction formation* to avoid anger (i.e. direct anger) and stay in control of their feelings and instincts in order to maintain a self image of being right. Reaction formation is feeling one thing and then expressing the opposite or at least something unrelated, such as feeling resentful but acting nice, feeling a need to rest but working harder. The relentless demand of the inner critic to be good and do good at all times replaces personal needs and shuts down feelings.


Kind of sounds like the frustrating, terrible internal voices I've got. If there is one thing I do often feel, it is that I feel like I've just got to be better. Guilt is a feeling I am very accustomed to. I think perhaps I do this. Sometimes I will be feeling selfish, or frustrated at somebody for doing something, and instead of reacting outright like you'd expect me to, I'll do something nice to that person instead. Not even to "shove it in their face" that I'm "so good" and they're not. Although I'm sure I've done that before sometime in my life. 



> 2) *Twos* use *repression *of personal needs and feelings to avoid being needy and to maintain a self image of being helpful. Repression is putting one's "unacceptable" feelings and impulses out of awareness by converting them into a more acceptable kind of emotional energy. Self-esteem depends on winning the approval of others. This can take the form of being overly nice, flattering people, and a superficial friendliness. Or it can show up as an attitude of entitlement. Their genuine need for connection takes the form of "you need me."


I think I relate very much the the underlined sentence. I'm also pretty sure some vague part of me relates to trying to be helpful and looking helpful so as to maintain a good image and be loved. 




> 6) *Sixes* use *projection* to avoid rejection and to maintain a self image of being loyal. Projection is a way of attributing to others what one can't accept in oneself, both positive and negative. Positive feelings are projected onto a romantic relationship or an external authority figure in order to assure safety and justify loyalty. Negative feelings are projected onto others to justify internal feelings of fear and distrust. Sixes support their projections by finding and amplifying the information which fits their premise.


I think I tend to think everybody else is "better" and "more-worthy" than I am. Maybe that is me projecting positively onto them. Especially when it comes to somebody I am interested romantically (which happens once in a blue moon -- as in, this has only happened to me twice, counting currently  So kind of very little experience here, at least at the moment), I often feel guilty when I can't "measure up" to them. I don't know about negative feelings. I quite honestly hesitate and am very careful about placing negative feelings upon other people. Maybe I'm not being honest with myself when I say that. However, trusting people comes naturally to me. It is easier to trust a person and believe the best of them than feel initial distrust. I don't feel comfortable placing things like blame or mistrust or things like that on another person. For this reason my sister is often very concerned for my mental stability. XD 



> 7) *Sevens* use *rationalization* to avoid suffering and to maintain a self image of being OK. Rationalization is a way of staying in the head, explaining away or justifying things in order to distance from painful feelings and refuse to take responsibility for their behavior. Everything can be re-framed towards the positive. Their ability to think of new options and possibilities allows Sevens to leave the present moment with its limitations and live in a seemingly unlimited future.


Oh yeah, I use this method whenever I procrastinate. "Haha, I'll get to it later." <-- downright lie. Although usually after I internally say something like that ("I'll get to it later"), another voice says, "Ha, funny joke, no you won't." And I'll feel a twinge of guilt, and then either do something about it, or I totally just ignore it and make myself not think about such things. 



> 9) *Nines* use *narcotization* to avoid conflict and to maintain a self image of being comfortable or harmonious. Narcotization is using food and drink, entertainment, or simply repetitive patterns of thinking and doing to "put oneself to sleep". Even productive activities can keep Nines narcotized if they become too habitual. Avoiding conflict with others keeps Nines from being fully present in relationships. Avoiding internal conflict leads to inertia and self-forgetting.


Just reading this makes me feel empty and awful. Sometimes I wonder just how much of my life has been me avoiding myself and paying attention to all the things around me. I know I do this. I wish there was a way to be "fully present in relationships" and not having any conflict. *headdesk* Silly me.


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## Spades (Aug 31, 2011)

I'll answer #2 roughly. Things that make me defensive (and a _lot_ of things do):

~ My competence being threatened. e.g. Not demonstrating I am skilled at things I care about.

~ Being blamed for something I already know my responsibility for.

~ Being exposed/embarrassed/humiliated without consent.

~ Values I hold deeply being ridiculed without valid arguments.


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## Elaminopy (Jun 29, 2011)

*1. What's your type? Feel free to share variant and tritype.*
Jury's out on that one.

*2. Provide a list of what makes you defensive (situations, behaviours etc.). 
a.* The first thing that comes to mind is when someone is giving me a hard time and/or implying that I'm doing something that I specifically try not to do. For example, my wife's best friend was over. We don't know each other very well and communication is awkward between us. I think she's a Seven. Anyway, I was pouring honey from a larger container into one with a smaller opening and accidentally spilled some down the side and it went on my fingers that were holding the container. I stopped pouring and took my messy hand off the container. The best friend said, "That's such a guy thing to do." I asked what she meant. She said, "Taking your hand away when there's still honey on it even though it will cause the honey on the side of the container to run down to the table." I explained that I only did so once I determined that the honey would no longer be at risk of running down the side before I could bring it to the sink and wipe it off. She told me not to get so defensive, she was just giving me a hard time, then accused me of not being able to understand her humor.

This is something I always do. I have a lot of things that I dislike when other people do and try very hard not to do them. When someone claims that I have done or am doing one of those things, I am determined to point out and explain how I also dislike when others do that and I most certainly was not doing the thing they thought. When I'm in a situation where I have no choice but to do some of those things, such as slamming a door because I accidentally lost my hold of it, I am already annoyed that I did it, but know that I couldn't have helped it. When someone else make mention of it and groups me in with the people who regularly do it and don't care, I feel compelled to explain how I don't normally do so and how I'm annoyed by it as well. Instead of persuading them, however, I just sound like I'm highly sensitive to criticism, can't take a joke, am too serious, and am lying about not being the type of person who regularly does the thing I accidentally did. Because they would probably expect the people who normally slam doors to also make it a habit of lying about things and to deny being one to normally slam doors, and I'm now grouped with those people who do several things I despise. I'm not one of them! I'm like you! I don't like it, either. In fact, it bugs me more than it bugs you. I'm even beyond you in my non-slamming-door-ness.

*b.* I also get defensive when people falsely interpret my intentions based on my outward actions or how they incorrectly perceived my outward actions.


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## Random Ness (Oct 13, 2010)

When someone questions my moral judgment or my perception of my experiences.

6-1-2, and I relate to the e6 and e9 descriptions, actually (inferior Se?). Although I relate to the e1 and e2 by doing or saying something nice when I don't mean it, it's not that I'm trying to change my emotions...it's that I'm secretly fuming but have accepted that the only way to keep harmony is by being nice.


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

I don't relate much to the whole "becoming emotionless robot" deal with 5 descriptions... I can't say. What makes me withdraw is most typically when a person tries to become intimate with me too fast and do not respect my space and boundaries. 

Also, I guess I can go full force conquer mode if I perceive someone to be challenging me which could in a way be seen as shutting down my emotions and focus entirely on logic.


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## mirrorghost (Sep 18, 2012)

1. What's your type? Feel free to share variant and tritype. 
4w5. i think i'm sx/sp but jury is out on that. still don't know my tritype-i find the whole thing confusing.

2. Provide a list of what makes you defensive (situations, behaviours etc.). 
these are probably oh-so typical of my type but: extreme, cold, factual criticism. actually, most criticism.
people twisting my words which makes me feel misunderstood and so now i over-explain things a lot.
when people have said i was being insensitive.

3. And then if possible, address ,generally or specifically, if any of this relates to Enneagram defense systems for your type or other types. 

i relate most to a combination of 4, 5 and 6. depending on the situation, i will do one of these things. usually 5 once i've been through 4 and 6, i think.


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