# Guys Why Do You Flirt or Hit on Women?



## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

Guys why do you flirt or hit on women? Do you do this with any girl or do you have to be attracted to them? If you are married, why do you flirt with single ladies? Just wondering....this week I got hit on by my electrician & then the guy installing my internet (who's married). On a scale of 1 to 10, ten being beautiful & one being not so beautiful, I'm probably a 4 or 5. So it made me wonder what their motive was.


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## Yamato (Dec 21, 2014)

well im single , so on the married part i dont think i gould really ad annything to this dicussion . perhaps thos who are married drew the short end of the stick whit their wife , and hope that if they hit on other woman they might be able to cheat/get into their panty's or so ?

and on the part where im single and wy i hit on girls , well if i find a girl actractive i ussaly hit on them automaticly , hoping i get into their panty's . wich ussaly does happen . 
but for me its also part of a deeper laying phycolocig cause wy i hit on girls . Im a bit on a searche for the one , and hitting on girls i think i like is part of that search , to find out if i really like them/their charakter ect. or if im only attracted to their boddy's .
Unfortunitly i havent found the one yet , but i keep on searching


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## neptvne (Jan 27, 2016)

Because they subconsciously think more with their dick. It's been proven (read about it in the book The Social Animal, it's a really good psychology book I had to read for my Psych 101 class) that men think about and are more interested in sex than the average female. It's just a male thing, their biological and chemical makeup just drives them more to spread their genetic family line. It's just the male instinct, to "plant their seed" which translate to their conscious mind as "she's hot, must fuck." 

Men need sex to feel loved
And women need to feel loved to have sex.


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## Falco Peregrinus (Sep 27, 2013)

I think its about 2 things. 1- Sex, 2-Emotional Support. When single its mainly for 1 and when married it is mainly for 2. 
1 and 2 are not exact opposites. 
Sometimes they are exclusive and in those cases one could treat them as 2 extremities of a single trait. 
(Just like Introversion / Extroversion)
its difficult to evaluate a man as 60% driven by sex and 40% emotional support all the time.
Rather its one man and his lookout to a particular woman.
*example *- 
On a scale of 1 to 10 for attractiveness - if a man *M1* says that a particular woman *W1* is at 8 for him.
Then it could be 40% (*3.2*)out of physical drive and 60%(*4.8*) because of emotional need.
For the same man *M1 *another woman *W2 *could be at 6 - with sexual arousal 90% (*5.4*) and potential emotional comfort 10 % (*0.6*)

*Note: Although W2 is at 6 overall and W1 is at 8, W2 appears physically more attractive *to M1
So depending on the hormonal and mental state of the M1 at the given instance, he may choose to hit on W2 ahead of W1.


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## marblecloud95 (Aug 12, 2015)

neptvne said:


> Because they subconsciously think more with their dick. It's been proven (read about it in the book The Social Animal, it's a really good psychology book I had to read for my Psych 101 class) that men think about and are more interested in sex than the average female. It's just a male thing, their biological and chemical makeup just drives them more to spread their genetic family line. It's just the male instinct, to "plant their seed" which translate to their conscious mind as "she's hot, must fuck."
> 
> Men need sex to feel loved
> And women need to feel loved to have sex.


Yeah I cut to the chase and just whip my dick out.


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## Cheveyo (Nov 19, 2010)

Physical attraction is important. You can make yourself more attractive via working out and eating right. Also make up helps.
As a woman you're competing against other women, just like men are competing against other men. If you want someone to want you, you need to make yourself desirable.

If you don't believe the physical stuff can help, then make yourself better than other women in other things.






neptvne said:


> And women need to feel loved to have sex.



If this were the case, then it would be MUCH harder to get sex.
I mean, these days there's no point in even committing to a woman since they'll put out on the first date, if not soon after.


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## Mmmm (Jul 6, 2012)

Cheveyo said:


> Physical attraction is important. You can make yourself more attractive via working out and eating right. Also make up helps.
> As a woman you're competing against other women, just like men are competing against other men. If you want someone to want you, you need to make yourself desirable.
> 
> If you don't believe the physical stuff can help, then make yourself better than other women in other things.
> ...


I think you misunderstood, I don't need help getting hit on. :dry: The problem is the wrong kind of attention, especially from married men! Funny but I don't wear make-up, I dress modestly, & I'm INTJ yet I still get hit on. Example I went to a restaurant with 2 of my female friends & despite the above description the waiter was very attentive to me & ignored my friends. It was so exaggerated that they made fun of me, asking if I wanted them to leave so I could be alone with the waiter.


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## karmachameleon (Nov 1, 2015)

neptvne said:


> Because they subconsciously think more with their dick. It's been proven (read about it in the book The Social Animal, it's a really good psychology book I had to read for my Psych 101 class) that men think about and are more interested in sex than the average female. It's just a male thing, their biological and chemical makeup just drives them more to spread their genetic family line. It's just the male instinct, to "plant their seed" which translate to their conscious mind as "she's hot, must fuck."
> 
> Men need sex to feel loved
> And women need to feel loved to have sex.


am a woman and can confirm thats not correct. speak for yourself.


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## Cheveyo (Nov 19, 2010)

Mmmm said:


> I think you misunderstood, I don't need help getting hit on. :dry: The problem is the wrong kind of attention, especially from married men! Funny but I don't wear make-up, I dress modestly, & I'm INTJ yet I still get hit on. Example I went to a restaurant with 2 of my female friends & despite the above description the waiter was very attentive to me & ignored my friends. It was so exaggerated that they made fun of me, asking if I wanted them to leave so I could be alone with the waiter.



You're right, I did misunderstand.

There's nothing you can do to stop men from hitting on you. But you can stop most men from continuing to do so simply by telling them you're not interested. An ex of mine as a really nice person, always friendly. She had the same problem you do. I told her she either has to get used to being hit on, or she needs to stop being so nice.



The reason you get hit on because that's how men get women. A wife isn't going to fall out of the sky and onto your lap. A man needs to be proactive, even if all they're looking for is sex.


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## Dante Scioli (Sep 3, 2012)

It's fun. Yes you have to be able to see some positive quality in them but that's not hard.



neptvne said:


> Because they subconsciously think more with their dick. It's been proven (read about it in the book The Social Animal, it's a really good psychology book I had to read for my Psych 101 class) that men think about and are more interested in sex than the average female. It's just a male thing, their biological and chemical makeup just drives them more to spread their genetic family line. It's just the male instinct, to "plant their seed" which translate to their conscious mind as "she's hot, must fuck."
> 
> Men need sex to feel loved
> And women need to feel loved to have sex.


This made me smile because it's very Psych 101. A good starting point, but you'll find reality doesn't reduce to this. That proverb doesn't quite have it right anyway. It's putting things delicately. More accurately, women need to feel _turned on_ to have sex, and men don't as much.

As far as love is concerned? Well, I've seen many a man fall in love without sex, but I've never seen a woman fall in love without being turned on. I don't expect I'll ever hear a woman admit it, but turning her on is the most important piece of winning her heart. There are a lot of idealistic and hopeless romantic boys out there who have yet to accept that reality and think love is something untainted by lust. To them I say this, and I know this is very crass, but I put it harshly when talking to these guys to try to shock them into seeing the point: the way to a woman's heart is through her vagina. Women hate hearing that but it doesn't make it untrue.

As Sean Paul puts it, "you don' wan' no man wey can' turn you on." Can't argue with that wisdom.


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## Yasminec19 (Sep 16, 2015)

Are you seriously asking why men are hitting on you ?
Reminds me of so many of my girlfriends ... "He said he loved me ... What do you think he meeeans ?"
Are you seriousssssssssssss 

You're reading too much into it. If someone is hitting on you they find you attractive in some way and/or are trying to score. If they are married, they are not made for monogamy and that's pretty much it, it's their personal issue and has nothing to do with you. 

You are judging yourself as a 4 or 5 but maybe other people are not. These scales of attractiveness are so fucking dumb anyway.


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## Catwalk (Aug 12, 2015)

Mmmm said:


> On a scale of 1 to 10, ten being beautiful & one being not so beautiful, I'm probably a 4 or 5. So it made me wonder what their motive was.


I wouldn't put too much thought into it - like someone stated; it is merely the penis. 

That is why I do not understand the strong emphasis (via) ape-thinker(s) putting on ''feminine'' look(s) - males will hit //fuck anything w/ a vaginal opening - as an observation, in my experience (i.e., generalized (via) male behaviors). 

Of course, there are males ---> exception to rule, but c'mon, males are easy.

I have left the house looking supremely screwed up (&) still grabbed + attracted male(s), males are easy - its the female(s) that require work.

You could be _completely_ *androgynous* - but the moment you assert, ''I am female'' - a male will come running.

This is also why I do not rate my ''physical attractiveness'' (via) male arousal + attention; it is _falsified. 
_
I wouldn't think much of it; I think it is perhap(s) even reflexive.


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## Toru Okada (May 10, 2011)

Imagine a world where men didn't assert their sexual attraction toward women. The human race would turn lesbian.


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## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

Because they (women) won't


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## Wtpmjgda (Dec 15, 2014)

Girls are the most attractive thing for boys. boy want to love a girl. girl want to be loved by a boy. Thats all the theory behind this.


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## Vast Silence (Apr 23, 2014)

Flirting is a fun way to break the ice and get past that social wall.

It's fun when I'm bored. Sometimes I flirt with a girl because she lets me.
Being surrounded by frozen ice queen robots pretending to be female humans makes the experience of meeting an actual wam blooded woman exhilarating.

I never make a closing move though. If the woman doesn't make a bold move I'll get bored and move on.
Tried the making a move thing, got called a creep, done doing that, forever.


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## g_w (Apr 16, 2013)

karmachameleon said:


> am a woman and can confirm thats not correct. speak for yourself.


You come and go. /Culture Club>


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## g_w (Apr 16, 2013)

Catwalk said:


> I wouldn't put too much thought into it - like someone stated; it is merely the penis.
> 
> That is why I do not understand the strong emphasis (via) ape-thinker(s) putting on ''feminine'' look(s) - males will hit //fuck anything w/ a vaginal opening - as an observation, in my experience (i.e., generalized (via) male behaviors).
> 
> ...


Men have an attraction *floor* ; anything above that floor, they'll (in theory) consider.

However, there is a competing effect as a women gets more attractive: first, the woman gets more picky (women usually date and marry *up* except for flings, where either variety, temporary fascination, or raw carnality is the driver)...second, the guys sense the "she's out of my league factor" and many guys opt out of the chase.

To gauge your attractiveness for (say) 7.5 - 10.0, do two things: 

1) consider your "traffic accident radius" ...what is the mean distance at which men's heads snap around to follow you once you enter their field of vision?
2) Note the ratio of men actually approaching and/or making interesting conversation vs. either "aw shucks" bashful fawning, or just gawking from a safe distance.


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## g_w (Apr 16, 2013)

Mmmm said:


> I think you misunderstood, I don't need help getting hit on. :dry: The problem is the wrong kind of attention, especially from married men! Funny but I don't wear make-up, I dress modestly, & I'm INTJ yet I still get hit on. Example I went to a restaurant with 2 of my female friends & despite the above description the waiter was very attentive to me & ignored my friends. It was so exaggerated that they made fun of me, asking if I wanted them to leave so I could be alone with the waiter.


And women complain men aren't attracted to intelligence... h'mmmph!


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## Firelily (Apr 20, 2016)

Toru Okada said:


> Imagine a world where men didn't assert their sexual attraction toward women. The human race would turn lesbian.


hummm not all women would go that way. some of us would just sneak into a mans room late at night


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## Firelily (Apr 20, 2016)

ninjahitsawall said:


> I am flirty with close friends, but I've decided to not do it as much with women because I think they get the wrong idea (platonic friends). I had this friend develop feelings for me - not directly from my behavior, most likely, but I felt bad so I toned it down. I have this one friend who's a guy, and we're both straight but we act flirty just to kind of poke fun at ourselves, because we have a bromance type friendship, and we've both had these "what if I'm gay and don't even know it?" moments. I guess we recognized the stupidity of it, how we start overanalyzing ourselves (he's INTP and I'm INTJ so.. haha). We also decided to be married on Facebook. But he de-activated his Facebook so now I'm single again.  lol.


I know i'm a girl but this happens to me. I flirt with someone and they get the wrong idea Male or Female. It's beyond me why people can't just relax and share a flirty moment.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

LillyFlower said:


> I know i'm a girl but this happens to me. I flirt with someone and they get the wrong idea Male or Female. It's beyond me why people can't just relax and share a flirty moment.


Yeah exactly. Check out my edit :tongue:


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## Firelily (Apr 20, 2016)

ninjahitsawall said:


> Yeah exactly. Check out my edit :tongue:


Yes that is me all over. Craig Ferguson is great. I flirt with woman and men and enjoy it but you flirt with someone the wrong way and their like WTF on you. If only everyone could be like Hugh Laurie.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

LillyFlower said:


> Yes that is me all over. Craig Ferguson is great. I flirt with woman and men and enjoy it but you flirt with someone the wrong way and their like WTF on you. If only everyone could be like Hugh Laurie.


Haha, he flirts with men a lot, but everything on YouTube is Craig flirting with women and some are meant to be lessons on how to flirt. :dry: I remember he had this guest who was really flamboyantly gay and Craig was flirting with him.. and something about a feather boa was part of the joke(I think he took it from the guy and wore it), he complimented it and just kept going from there. But I don't remember who the guest was.


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## Firelily (Apr 20, 2016)

ninjahitsawall said:


> Haha, he flirts with men a lot, but everything on YouTube is Craig flirting with women and some are meant to be lessons on how to flirt. :dry: I remember he had this guest who was really flamboyantly gay and Craig was flirting with him.. and something about a feather boa was part of the joke(I think he took it from the guy and wore it), he complimented it and just kept going from there. But I don't remember who the guest was.


Ha Ha That would have been funny to watch. I do like a flirty banter


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## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

Because I enjoy their presence and I'm attracted to them.


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## Metalize (Dec 18, 2014)

It's a numbers game.

Generally, females have an incentive to settle with quality men (flings tend to be exempt), for long-term security and raising families. The average male tends to prioritize quantity over quality, with the exception of high-IQ individuals (Gene Expression: Intercourse and Intelligence).


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