# PerC males, what has been your experience in school?



## dulcinea (Aug 22, 2011)

I've been reading The War Against Boys by Christina Hoff Sommers. Great book, but I keep having to take breaks because it makes me mad!!! So I wanted to ask particularly the menfolk, what has been your experience in school, for instance have you experienced stuff like:

girls being favored?
teachers not listening?
sadistic bullying that's never addressed by staff?
being falsely accused of sexual harassment?
being disciplined for flimsy reasons?

Stuff like that...

If the females wanna answer their experience for comparison, too, that'd be fine. I know, for me, as a girl, who went to high school in the 90's, I basically coasted and no one really noticed me, and I liked it that way. Nothing I did really stood out, but a few of my teachers recommended me for the gifted program, and it turned out I had qualified for it in Jr. High. I was never, however, the teacher's favorite, but I was never not liked by staff or by my classmates, either. I guess you could say I had a neutral experience.


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## telepariah (Jun 20, 2011)

I was kind of antisocial in high school, which was the early seventies. I hung out with older kids until my senior year and then I was just biding my time until I would be free. The work was easy and I coasted through all of it with little effort. I played sports, but more individual sports like track and field, cross-country, swimming, and ski racing. You wouldn't find me out hanging around a corner store or trying to get into a bar very much. I would rather be playing music at home or smoking weed in the woods. I kept a low profile and my height and long hair notwithstanding, I tried not to get noticed much.

Thinking about the things you mentioned, I can answer that:

girls being favored? _I never thought that was the case. We had just come through the sixties and girls were more liberated than they could have been before. In retrospect, I have to admit we had some pretty good teachers who treated everybody with respect._

teachers not listening? _Even though I didn't participate much in class, I always felt like I could talk to my teachers._

sadistic bullying that's never addressed by staff? _More in elementary school and junior high school. Bullying was not a big problem in high school. There were different cliques and everybody pretty much stuck to their own groups and did their own things. Ours was a working class town. Everybody (except for a few) was Catholic. People got along pretty well._

being falsely accused of sexual harassment? _Heavens no. I was scared shitless to have sex because I didn't want to get entangled with anybody at that stage of my life. I was friends with girls but I didn't date much and I broke up with the only girl who wanted to get close because I had plans for my life that didn't include staying in my home town. I couldn't risk anybody holding me there._

being disciplined for flimsy reasons? _If I had been disciplined, I probably would have deserved it. About the worst thing I did was smoke weed between classes and skip school when I felt like it... which was a lot. I don't think I ever got in trouble in high school except for one drug bust in woods that were on school property for smoking weed with some friends instead of watching a baseball game. The school never even found out about it. It was a police issue and we got off easy because the night sergeant was a family friend.

_My high school years were not dramatic. I lived my life and didn't get too involved with other people. As soon as I could, I got out of town, came to Colorado, and have basically been a ski bum ever since.


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## Grandmaster Yoda (Jan 18, 2014)

None of those. I had a unique situation anyway because my selective mutism went way past kindergarten. I didn't believe bullies existed, I used to think many ideas were just for the television and that real life people would be too awkward to live up to all of that stuff.


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## Hero of Freedom (Nov 23, 2014)

The bullying that happened with me mostly occurred due to me trying to pull off that trick of grabbing attention by acting a little controversial, but then backfiring because 'they' took it seriously. Even a little negative attention was better than none at all to me but found that it was too much or thought there was a conspiracy against me and wanted to act a certain way to expose any potential underlying aggressive intentions which were really nonexistent. In which I was bombarded with hate or ridicule from a certain bunch of people then only started becoming the target for 'jerks'. 

But whom found new excuses every time afterwards, I wasn't bullied much in primary school because I used physical force against anybody who tried to and stopped them quickly? I basically just got angry and hit jerks physically I met in primary school that 'picked on me', and dealt with all of them this way until I felt it was enough. When I got punished for dealing with bullies this way I had the impression that they and staff were kind of in league, which does seem kind of true if you think about it. (Early class consciousness?) This is why I say if you want to look for class consciousness from an early age, start no earlier than from looking at the kids whom beat up their bullies and don't become victims. People say the world is ruled by people with 'bully' mindsets, but at the same time it has people like us whom are sometimes locked in a constant endless battle with/against these people.

I also trolled a teacher into thinking I was doing something inappropriate when I wasn't at all in primary school by typing something into the search engine bar then saying "Hey look at this" or "Look at this Mrs and what that says" then I was permanently banned from using(having access to) computers for some while. Backfired too.

I did sometime see girls 'being favored' but naturally because they were raised to act in a more passive manner than boys, while generally the boys exerted things a bit more actively/openly know what I mean? One gender acted more 'lawful' and the other a little bit more 'chaotic'. There was some element going on that saw boys to be 'tougher' and girls as more 'vulnerable' however among the staff tbh.


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## Fumetsu (Oct 7, 2015)

The war against boys?

...seriously? 

I guess those who tend to act out or get attention as " class clown" tend to be male so they may get in trouble more for that, but tbh when I was in school the teachers loved those type of kids ( male or female).


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## Hero of Freedom (Nov 23, 2014)

Fumetsu said:


> I guess those who tend to act out or get attention as " class clown" tend to be male so they may get in trouble more for that, but tbh when I was in school the teachers loved those type of kids ( male or female).


In my school they punished those kids immediately and made them sit at the corner? But it was as said a more traditionalist mindset among the staff. They do make boys and girls wear trousers/skirts in uniform difference here alot.


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## Fumetsu (Oct 7, 2015)

Defender of Light said:


> In my school they punished those kids immediately and made them sit at the corner? But it was as said a more traditionalist mindset among the staff. They do make boys and girls wear trousers/skirts in uniform difference here alot.


Yeah, I don't agree with punishing kids for being energetic and enthusiastic but I don't think that has anything to do with gender.


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## Turi (May 9, 2017)

I never felt girls were favoured, however every time I wound up in a competition with someone, whether it was just a spelling competition final, maths competition, competing for a scholarship to a high school - I was always against a girl.
And I won every time.

Teachers didn't pay a whole lot of attention to me, that I know of, but I also never tried to draw attention to myself either.

I never got bullied, and I didn't bully anyone else. I stepped in on numerous occasions when other people were being bullied, and put an end to the situation. I got in like 2 fights in school, won both, they weren't "bullies" more like people just trying to test me, I think.
I've got a pretty cunning smile that seemed to get me in trouble a lot, but I never actually felt bullied.
In hindsight, I suppose there were a lot of people trying to bully me, but eh, I was always like a hundred levels above bullies intellectually and basically talked my way out of everything, in ways that anyone with half a brain would punch me in the face for - I'd somehow get away with calming people down by calling them a dipshit, but I'd word things in a way so that it made sense with people.

I don't know how to explain the above. TL;DR, I don't think I got bullied, but maybe I did, and maybe I kinda bullied the bullies in a way.


Never got accused of sexual harassment, I'd freaking die if I was ever accused of that. I was so far against that kind of thing, I'd actually take steps to avoid it ever happening, and this is probably a small part of what made me the introvert I am today.
I've always been well aware of what the boundaries are etc, and I've kept myself WAYYYY on the safe side.
So far on the safe side, infact, I never had a girlfriend until I was like 20.
I feel like I've just always had an immense amount of respect for women and an understanding of their positions in society - both in the sense that they're objectified and I've always been against that even as a kid, and also in the sense that they make the world go 'round, and we would be absolutely nowhere without women.
I have a very deep understanding and appreciation for women, which was simply born into me.
Being accused of sexual harassment.. man.. that'd be literally the last thing I would ever want, I can't imagine much worse.


I got disciplined when necessary, rarely for any flimsy reasons.
Always well-deserved.


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## Medeia (Aug 9, 2017)

I don't feel like girls were favored in my whole school experience. I remember a study about how differently girls and boys were treated at school. It explained that teachers were harder on boys about their results because they expected them to study and have the performances to go at the best universities. However, they were harder with girls on behavior, expected to be quiet, while they perceived as normal for boys to be a little reckless and to rebel sometimes.

From my experience in high school and middle school, bullying was for both boys and girls and teachers were the most useless people in those situations. I guess it was more physical between guys and more verbal between girls, but that's just an impression. And there was also bullying between boys and girls.

There has been a case of sexual assault at my high school and the offender had been expelled. But I don't remember a case of false accusations., and tbh, I don't think it happens a lot.


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## General Lee Awesome (Sep 28, 2014)

Great! I was able to dick around more because I was a guy.


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## ponpiri (Apr 30, 2017)

Fumetsu said:


> The war against boys?
> 
> ...seriously?
> 
> I guess those who tend to act out or get attention as " class clown" tend to be male so they may get in trouble more for that, but tbh when I was in school the teachers loved those type of kids ( male or female).


Yes, seriously. There's a similar, better written book I've read called _The End of Men: The Rise of Women_ by Hanna Rosin that attempts to tackle male anxiety from their perspective. Unfortunately many books like these fall short as they tend to lie about stats and use anecdotal evidence as far-reaching fact to bolster their claims about a "war" on males. The answers from real boys and men disprove a lot of the propaganda these red-pill-ish writers try to push.

As for the questions, this depended on the class level and subject. Teachers seemed to care more that girls were well-behaved rather than smart unless it was an advanced course. Naturally they want all students to test well if they're taking up space in an AP or IB class.

They and guidance counselors were also helpless in the face of bullying and it seemed to be more vicious [and less regulated] with female students.


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## General Lee Awesome (Sep 28, 2014)

Fumetsu said:


> The war against boys?
> 
> ...seriously?
> 
> I guess those who tend to act out or get attention as " class clown" tend to be male so they may get in trouble more for that, but tbh when I was in school the teachers loved those type of kids ( male or female).


I love class clowns


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## Fumetsu (Oct 7, 2015)

johnson.han.3 said:


> I love class clowns


They did keep things interesting.


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## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

Mm. There are good points that can be made about how the educational system (at least in the States) is failing young men but IMO it has a lot more to do with unrealistic behavioral expectations of males in early childhood (long periods of sitting, focusing, quietly attending to a single task) than interpersonal gender bias.


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## Toru Okada (May 10, 2011)

Public education in general is just mediocre at best but my experience wasn't terrible. Yeah I was bullied like everyone else, which overall has been beneficial to me. But I was not prepared to deal with bullying at school age. I think that earlier on, behavioral punishment does unintentionally favor girls, who are less disruptive. I got constant behavioral infractions in school.

Otherwise, it was a boring waste of most of the time, glorified daycare and you have to get up too fucking early just to go through all of that bullshit. If I had the desire to have children and the money I'd look for other options. Honestly you could probably boil all of K-12 into 5 or 6 years and be done with it. What a colossal waste of time and energy.


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## Paradox1987 (Oct 9, 2010)

dulcinea said:


> girls being favored?


No. I'd actually say that my school was pretty good in terms of equality. There was no bias in terms of educational performance or outcomes. We still only took 3 girls in my A-Level years through to Physics. But that one statistic aside, both genders were equally encouraged and represented in all other subject areas. 



> teachers not listening?


Nope. In fact two particular teachers changed my life. I owe them both a lot. 



> sadistic bullying that's never addressed by staff?


First brown kid to get the English scholarship at my school. You bet there was bullying, and from staff too. But none of it was about gender. It was all about how an uppity savage without the civilising lack of melanin could outperform English kids at well... English. 



> being falsely accused of sexual harassment?


LOL. No. I was too busy trying to get the requisite grades to retain my scholarship. Didn't have time to get myself into situations where this could ever arise. 



> being disciplined for flimsy reasons?


I was a very visible minority at school (one of 3 ethnic kids in my year group) and was the English scholarship kid. At least three teachers in the English department had it in for me. It was because I wasn't white. So, yeah, but it wasn't gender driving this shit. Just overly entitled, not very smart nativist types who couldn't get a better grade in an English exam than me. I can see why they'd resent me.


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## Agni (Jan 5, 2012)

> girls being favored?


 - I didn't notice this at all. Ofc there were the starry eyed teachers pets who studied extra hard and knew everything by heart but they weren't really favoured.


> teachers not listening?


Some did, some didn't. I wasn't exactly the easiest student and I bet in US I would have been on ritalin as I was causing trouble due to boredom in class. I couldn't fathom how some people couldn't read / write on third grade and everyone was moving at snail pace.


> sadistic bullying that's never addressed by staff?


Bullies left me alone for the most part, the ones that didn't were met with physical force. They didn't want to hassle the loner who was way bigger than they were


> being falsely accused of sexual harassment?


Nope


> being disciplined for flimsy reasons?


The reasons that I was disiplined at school always had quite good reasons. I was pushing the limits mainly because of the boredom. Most of this happened before highschool though.


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## Nephandus (May 16, 2017)

Considering I was punished for talking back to female classmates... The boys line walked behind the girls, explicitly out of respect. The boys were strictly controlled, in and out of school, while the girls ran around town. We were proto-monsters that needed breaking. They were already "mature" because they were pretentious and passive aggressive. In community college, I had a landwhole try to shove her paw down my pants almost literally in the middle of a physics classroom. It was literally hard not to see relative to the tables and where people were standing. Other than a few giggles, I got glared at 'cause you know male=designated-sexual-aggressor and female=not-sexually-responsible. Chicks were talking shit EVERYWHERE. I know details of WAY too many chick's sex lives from just sitting at a table meters away and an entire story down from the front of the secondary building and side of the primary. In uni, there were all the proto-rapist browbeating and old debunked stats, which you couldn't question and all freshmen males had to take like good like subhumans. The campus cops generally ignored males victims, while the news reported female witnesses of male victimization as victims. That was pretty fucking stark. Multiple male victims in public AND private did nothing. One chick anywhere, and they're blathering about cops patrolling hallways at random, in a marvelous waste of resources. Then you got female teachers being treated as more experienced and accomplished than they were. They literally were paid and regarded as a couple official levels higher than their male counterparts, which they were apt to brag about 'cause "progress" and "women are wonderful" gender superiority. Of course, this was a place where decades straight of ALL black student government was regarded as diversity.


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## shazam (Oct 18, 2015)

I went to an all boys school so in was all man sweat and flexin. In the work place I have to watch my mouth with female colleagues because I'm a bit flirty. 

Of course thouh there are people you can have a lauh with and people you can't. It's found out pretty quickly.

Oh yeah, in school I was always told I was askin stupid questions but I was serious, so I just turned into an asshole.


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## Witch of Oreo (Jun 23, 2014)

*girls being favored?*
No, because there was no ground for favoring in the first place.
*teachers not listening?*
and
*sadistic bullying that's never addressed by staff*
were so nomal that nobody gave two damns until it started to look like murder. And even then not always. Tenfold as bad in military schools that make USMC hazing look like innocent child play.
*Being falsely accused of sexual harassment?*
That was not even a thing. Unlike nowadays when a blackmailing harlot and her criminal family extort money from the guy, have him imprisoned and then bask in TV attention.
*being disciplined for flimsy reasons?*
No, because almost nobody was disciplined at all.


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## dulcinea (Aug 22, 2011)

Hmmmm, it's a sentiment that's been rising with me that, while feminism isn't the way to go, neither is anti-feminism, so this is helping confirm that.


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## Nephandus (May 16, 2017)

dulcinea said:


> Hmmmm, it's a sentiment that's been rising with me that, while feminism isn't the way to go, neither is anti-feminism, so this is helping confirm that.


Notice the consensus seems to be there CAN'T be a bias? Lovely oversell. Various stats show grading biases and behavior differences leading to various kinds of punitive bias though. Also, worth noting around here, the more effeminate males are treated differently than more average (personality-wise) males. I mean treated differently by teachers, though treatment around here also differs...


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## Witch of Oreo (Jun 23, 2014)

dulcinea said:


> Hmmmm, it's a sentiment that's been rising with me that, while feminism isn't the way to go, neither is anti-feminism, so this is helping confirm that.


Anti-movements are never an answer. They share all the same methods, same mistakes, same ideological paradigm essentially - ergo making no real difference even if they happen to attain some degree of influence.


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## Majority (Oct 3, 2016)

School sucked. Girls got favored in that they won obedience points while the guys suffered offense minus points. 

All in all THAT wasn't a big deal, while school sucked for many other reasons. 

Come to think of it, one of my biggest gripes is the war on violence and making kittens out of boys. Kids play and they fight - it is what they do. The system enforced that if something bad happens from insults to bullying you were supposed to go to the teachers - who do nothing, or to some student anti-bully squad. "Talk it out, violence is always wrong!" I wasn't bullied the point is that it doesn't work. Kids won't respect you unless you stand up to them, and should someone intervene they will just start attacking you again when you're alone with them again. This is also a dimension where girls are favored. They get away with shit and it's not like you can punch back and put them in place. 

It's the same with adults, obviously. You have to stand up to the idiots even if that means that you have to fight them.


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## Deprecator (Aug 21, 2017)

dulcinea said:


> girls being favored?
> teachers not listening?
> sadistic bullying that's never addressed by staff?
> being falsely accused of sexual harassment?
> being disciplined for flimsy reasons?


Were these all possibilities? Man I feel like I missed out on all the fun. School seemed pretty straight forward and I really don't know what there is to say about it. I mean the worst part about high school was having to wake up early and go through teen angst, but other than that I did well in sports and had good times with my social groups. 

By college I began to focus more on academia and found the coursework stimulating. A good professor always offered unique perspectives and I was exposed to a variety of subjects, teachings and authors. I didn't mind any of my teachers because for any given class my motto was not to rely on them for anything. Same thing with my class mates; if there was a group project I just assumed that I'd do everything because lets face it, I'd probably do a much better job than them and I didn't want to risk my grade. 

And sure, occasionally I'd witness drama between another student and a teacher but I was never really able to empathize with whatever the fuss about. For an example, I remember one time a class mate made quite the spectacle when they received a zero on a test for saying "bless you" after a person sneezed. And like what possible defense can the student have? The syllabus clearly states that any talking during a test will result in a zero, and it didn't list any exception for sneezing etiquette. So like how hard can it be? Don't sign and say that you read and agree with the syllabus if you're just going to change your mind about it later.


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## MyName (Oct 23, 2009)

I'm not sure what school is like today, but in the 90's when I went to school there was a big emphasis on the whole "girl power" thing. I remember being surprised when I first found out about the stereotype of men being better at math because in school all you ever heard about was "GIRLS DOING MATH AND SCIENCE!!!!!" so I assumed that that must mean that girls were better at it since no one ever talked about boys doing math and science. When you're seven you haven't heard people doing jokes about women and math, so all of that stuff was overcompensating, or compensating for something that didn't yet exist in the target audience. 

I also got punished for things I didn't do just because I happened to be in the vicinity when another boy did something. One specific time a few boys got in a fight where I was in line and despite the fact that even all the boys fighting said I wasn't in the fight with them while admitting that they did it themselves, the teacher kept yelling at me and made me write a letter apologizing for causing so much trouble. Teachers would always criticize boys as a group (negatively comparing them to girls) when one or some of them would do something wrong, even though I was generally the best behaved kid in the class. You could say that it wasn't directed at me specifically but A. I didn't understand that when I was in the second or third grade and B. They shouldn't be doing that anyway. There was also a general sense that teachers thought you were doing something wrong, even if I was just sitting quietly in a chair.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

Ha, I got into a gifted program in elementary school and I think I still have slight PTSD from it, lol. Seemed like all they cared about was our test scores so they could show them off to the district and have circle jerks about how special their gifted kids are...don't really get the appeal of "special snowflake syndrome". It basically felt like as a child your only value to anyone else was your academic performance, and outside of that you were just a burden on the system. 

Maybe that was just me though and how I read it back then. No idea how much is gender-related or how it affected others. However, a few kids also had emotional or other issues, a lot of the time it was boys who'd talk back to a teacher or something and the teacher seemed unable to address it properly.. so they'd get sent to counseling. Not sure if it helped as it was always the same few kids with the same issues each year...
According to my mom, they justified the emotional issues a lot of kids had, as "intellectual maturity happening too quickly for emotional maturity to keep up". 

I do remember this one teacher who seemed to favor Korean kids, especially the girls, because it seemed like everyone else always managed to do something or other wrong except for this small group of kids. They were quiet, well-behaved, did everything right, blabla. 

The teacher was Korean so maybe it was also some kind of cultural racism thing... I dunno. It's not something I even recognized as a race thing until much later. At the time I just felt like I must be one of the least intelligent students, but also really didn't like this teacher. (fortunately she went on maternity leave and we finished out the year with another one). 

Though this teacher also once picked on one particular boy (also quiet..but Chinese..) who hesitated and stuttered when he spoke out loud and said "like" a lot. She'd tell him repeatedly to stop saying "like", interrupt him while he was trying to speak even if she was the one to randomly call on him, and then he'd stutter worse or freeze up. It was so cringey to listen to I wanted to leave the room. 

In general, girls got away with more bullying and fucking with people and such, because it wasn't as overt as boys being hyper or throwing tantrums or whatever. And even when they did get in trouble it didn't become so much of a spectacle. It seemed like whenever a teacher was yelling, 9 times out of 10 it was at a boy. Usually boys got in more trouble for talking/calling out, being hyper, having some kind of emotional/anger issue etc. Though there were a few girls who were proficient at verbal bullying. Which I think may have had a poorer impact on others than disrupting classes...so there's that. 

Maybe I'm biased because I had more issues with girls fucking with my head than with boys doing any kind of bullying, but I was always kind of a loner in school and boys were more accepting of that. I think girls read it as like a social status thing where if you're alone a lot you're equated with being a loser. So they were the ones who picked on me. hell I dunno, this is just me speculating. But yeah, there wasn't one group of kids that I fit neatly in with. Always felt kinda isolated. (Ironically, the 'Mean Girls' was much less of an issue by high school...lol).

Sexual harassment accusation stuff, that didn't really happen (to my knowledge) in high school... though it seems to be more and more prominent on college campuses now, and before I graduated I was seeing the beginnings of those types of policies and discussions going on.. I'm definitely glad that I wasn't at one of those campuses that's gone apeshit with that stuff...
Will Mattress Girl’s backers learn from Columbia’s mistake? | New York Post

In the broadest sense though the main reasons I hated school (including college) were patronizing and/or helicoptering teachers giving mixed messages (expecting us to act like adults and have that level of intelligence, but treating us like toddlers who need constant hand-holding in other aspects, and acting surprised when someone acted like one).


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## Hypaspist (Feb 11, 2012)

There's really no war against anyone as I can tell. Well, maybe against anyone that doesn't follow an far-left ultra-liberal agenda. I happen to be a conservative that fall right of center, so I'm usually quiet about my views and remain as diplomatic as possible (imo one of my solid skills). There are at least five different organizations for "campus inclusivity" which I think is utter BS since they cater to the extreme victim-seeking left, but whatcha gonna do. I feel like I've been dropping the "C" word a lot lately, but the college does feel like I'm being spoon fed socialist/communist propaganda when conversation strays away from sports/movies/class-related discussion.

Otherwise it's just the daily grind of home - class - home.

tl;dr: Criticizing the ultra-left is a major no-no at college campuses.


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