# Does any guy seriously want an ENTP girl?



## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

I don't know, I've kind of been wondering about this lately. I honestly don't think there's any guy out there that I'd like that actually wants someone like me...but I'd love to hear thoughts on this!


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

What kind of guys do you normally like?


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Antipode said:


> What kind of guys do you normally like?


I don't really know honestly.


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## FearAndTrembling (Jun 5, 2013)

I like ENTP women.


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

theredpanda said:


> I don't really know honestly.


Hmm... well you said that there's no guys that you'd like, that'd return the feeling. So I was hoping you had an example so I could find a pattern.

---

Well, in short: yes and no. There will be guys who won't want an ENTP girl, and guys who will want one. As is the case for all "personalities." (Not MBTI)


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

FearAndTrembling said:


> I like ENTP women.


Can I ask why?


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## OkWhat (Feb 28, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> I don't really know honestly.


Let's do the math then.....

Potential Guys You Like = 0
Potential Guys That Like You = ?

<your answer> = 0 x ? 

:wink:


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## FearAndTrembling (Jun 5, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> Can I ask why?


Because they are quirky and fun. Kind of tomboyish.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Antipode said:


> Hmm... well you said that there's no guys that you'd like, that'd return the feeling. So I was hoping you had an example so I could find a pattern.
> 
> ---
> 
> Well, in short: yes and no. There will be guys who won't want an ENTP girl, and guys who will want one. As is the case for all "personalities." (Not MBTI)


No- like, my point is- I don't really see how a guy would like an ENTP girl- we're not soft, or sweet- we suck at relationships. Like, I said I'm not really sure what kind of guys I like- I've never really been romantically interested in anyone, it really depends- I like V from V for Vendetta (INFJ) and Will Graham from Hannibal (INFP- most likely)- although I've never met an INFP irl and I can't connect with INFJs- I think I'm pretty picky tho...the most important thing I guess for me would be someone who understand me (which is really hard to do) and someone who likes to have fun. Does that help?


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

OkWhat said:


> Let's do the math then.....
> 
> Potential Guys You Like = 0
> Potential Guys That Like You = ?
> ...


Thank you so much, that really helped me out a lot- I could've never figured that one out myself, you brilliant and magnificent ENTP! Oh wait- I'm an ENTP too...:wink:


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## Villainous (Dec 31, 2012)

theredpanda said:


> I don't know, I've kind of been wondering about this lately. I honestly don't think there's any guy out there that I'd like that actually wants someone like me...but I'd love to hear thoughts on this!


Can't like someone with such low self-esteem like this. It has nothing to do with your type


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

theredpanda said:


> the most important thing I guess for me would be someone who understand me (which is really hard to do) and someone who likes to have fun. Does that help?


What makes you think you wont be able to find a guy like this?

---

Or a better question: you said you've been wondering about this lately. What has happened that made you start pondering this? roud: I won't let you get away with, "I don't know"!


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## OkWhat (Feb 28, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> Thank you so much, that really helped me out a lot- I could've never figured that one out myself, you brilliant and magnificent ENTP! Oh wait- I'm an ENTP too...:wink:


I didn't ask a question and then provide my own answer. BTW, that is not the recipe for a good thread...:kitteh:


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Villainous said:


> Can't like someone with such low self-esteem like this. It has nothing to do with your type


I'm actually a pretty confident person- just not in this area because I don't really understand it. I'm confident, but I do doubt a lot- mainly because I question literally everything.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Antipode said:


> What makes you think you wont be able to find a guy like this?
> 
> ---
> 
> Or a better question: you said you've been wondering about this lately. What has happened that made you start pondering this? roud: I won't let you get away with, "I don't know"!


I don't know :kitteh:


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

OkWhat said:


> I didn't ask a question and then provide my own answer. BTW, that is not the recipe for a good thread...:kitteh:


Actually- the equation probably should have been something more like this:
Guys I like: ? (no one atm- but thats not to say i wont ever)
Guys that like me: ?
Answer= ? x ?
?=question mark=asking a question=posting it on a thread to find an answer
:wink:


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## OkWhat (Feb 28, 2014)

Villainous said:


> Can't like someone with such low self-esteem like this. It has nothing to do with your type


Really? I didn't get low self-esteem from her post. More like, I can't relate to any guys, they say one stupid thing and then I don't give a chance, so I am like a super ENTP bitch to them, and now I am alone.


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## OkWhat (Feb 28, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> Actually- the equation probably should have been something more like this:
> Guys I like: ? (no one atm- but thats not to say i wont ever)
> Guys that like me: ?
> Answer= ? x ?
> ...


If your understanding of this topic is a "?" then I would start defining that "?" before adding any other variables into the equation. :wink:


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

OkWhat said:


> If your understanding of this topic is a "?" then I would start defining that "?" before adding any other variables into the equation. :wink:



ok- but i think for me it's more about individuals- not just personality traits/types. Understand??????????????????????????????????????????? :kitteh:


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## OkWhat (Feb 28, 2014)

<-------Still reading the ?s
<-----Still....
<-----ok done..

I know you well enough from the limited posts that I don't believe you don't understand that the problem in your dating starts and ends with you. I recommend just lowering your standards and "Take a few cars for a test ride".

Individuals not personality traits/types????? you are just playing a semantic's game now. 

BTW, you can't post a threat about people not liking to date ENTP females then pull the it's individuals not personality types BS, I do have a short attention span, and hate to read, but I am calling major BS on that one. :laughing:


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

OkWhat said:


> <-------Still reading the ?s
> <-----Still....
> <-----ok done..
> 
> ...


Yeah- but I don't care enough about finding a true love or whatever to lower my standards...
And you should know, ENTPs are amazing BSers...:wink:


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

OkWhat said:


> I know you well enough from the limited posts


Hm? Really? I don't think you do...


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

OkWhat said:


> super ENTP bitch


wow.....:dry:


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## OkWhat (Feb 28, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> Hm? Really? I don't think you do...


So you are saying you don't understand then? I doubt that. :tongue: 

I am calling BS on this whole thread because I believe you do know how to fix this problem. That is all I am saying.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

OkWhat said:


> I am calling BS on this whole thread because I believe you do know how to fix this problem.


Point proven :kitteh:


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## OkWhat (Feb 28, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> wow.....:dry:


I'm sorry, I thought you posted to the ENTP forum, if you want artificial sunshine blown up your ass you took a wrong turn somewhere. :laughing:


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

OkWhat said:


> I'm sorry, I thought you posted to the ENTP forum, if you want artificial sunshine blown up your ass you took a wrong turn somewhere. :laughing:


Actually, I didn't post it to the ENTP forum, dumbass...
:wink:
But I do appreciate honesty. Add that to the list of what I'm looking for in a guy. :kitteh:


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## OkWhat (Feb 28, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> Actually, I didn't post it to the ENTP forum, dumbass...
> :wink:
> But I do appreciate honesty. Add that to the list of what I'm looking for in a guy. :kitteh:


You are right......aaaawwwwwwwwwwwwww. Hahaha, sorry my bad. So I will change my stance then....

The real reason is you are sooo amazing that you intimate all the lesser species (men) and make their small penises shrink up even more where they couldn't even preform if they wanted to. Your superior intelligence makes them over-think even the basic animal desire to reproduce to the point where your only option is to be an asexual. However, you are sooo wonderful if you can figure out how to reproduce with yourself, your offspring will fly out of your vagina and immediately start belittling all the lesser lifeforms.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

OkWhat said:


> You are right......aaaawwwwwwwwwwwwww. Hahaha, sorry my bad. So I will change my stance then....
> 
> The real reason is you are sooo amazing that you intimate all the lesser species (men) and make their small penises shrink up even more where they couldn't even preform if they wanted to. Your superior intelligence makes them over-think even the basic animal desire to reproduce to the point where your only option is to be an asexual. However, you are sooo wonderful if you can figure out how to reproduce with yourself, your offspring will fly out of your vagina and immediately start belittling all the lesser lifeforms.


LOL- I'll take that as a compliment. That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me...:blushed:


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## Lemxn (Aug 17, 2013)

The question is... "Why not?".


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Lemxn said:


> The question is... "Why not?".


"Why not"- as in- why wouldn't a guy like an ENTP girl in a romantic sense? There are lots of reasons...


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## xisnotx (Mar 20, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> I don't know, I've kind of been wondering about this lately. I honestly don't think there's any guy out there that I'd like that actually wants someone like me...but I'd love to hear thoughts on this!


Women are funny...
Any type is good if you've got big boobs.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

xisnotx said:


> Women are funny...
> Any type is good if you've got big boobs.


 I said any guy that I'd _like_...


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## OkWhat (Feb 28, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> I said any guy that I'd _like_...


Is that your way of saying you don't have big boobs?? :tongue:


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## xisnotx (Mar 20, 2014)

[No message]


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## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

How can we help you if not even you know what you like?


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

xisnotx said:


> Oh, a lesbian. I see....


 Not a lesbian... you're not the first to think that tho- that's why I don't think I'm really "girlfriend" material- or what guys look for in a partner...but I'm not into my own gender, thank you very much...:dry:


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Diligent Procrastinator said:


> How can we help you if not even you know what you like?


I do, but it really depends- read the earlier thing I posted when someone asked.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

OkWhat said:


> Is that your way of saying you don't have big boobs?? :tongue:


No- it's my way of saying I don't want a guy that just wants me for my body...


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## OkWhat (Feb 28, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> No- it's my way of saying I don't want a guy that just wants me for my body...


So is THAT your way of saying you don't have big boobs? :laughing:


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

OkWhat said:


> So is THAT your way of saying you don't have big boobs? :laughing:


hahaha you're hilarious :dry:
seriously- can you get boobs/sex out of your mind for just five minutes- or is that just impossible for you? It's so weak...Geez...


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## OkWhat (Feb 28, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> hahaha you're hilarious :dry:
> seriously- can you get boobs/sex out of your mind for just five minutes- or is that just impossible for you? It's so weak...Geez...


It doesn't take 5 minutes, more like 3 minutes tops, unless you have big boobs!!! hahahahahahahahaha


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## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

theredpanda said:


> I do, but it really depends- read the earlier thing I posted when someone asked.





theredpanda said:


> I don't really know honestly.


I did. Unless you mean the post where you said you like some imaginary people and someone who understands you and likes to have fun... In which case we're still at nothing because understanding and not boring are pretty much a given. Why is it that you think no male you like will like you?


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## xisnotx (Mar 20, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> Not a lesbian... you're not the first to think that tho- that's why I don't think I'm really "girlfriend" material- or what guys look for in a partner...but I'm not into my own gender, thank you very much...:dry:


i don't know you...certainly not enough to think anything of you. to me, you're just writing on a screen...

i'm just saying, if you're attractive, a guy's going to like you. you being entp has nothing to do with anything...

men aren't women. they're men. they'll fall for hip to waist ratio before they fall for your charm...or whatever. 

an entp woman would seemingly be fun...and maybe smart enough to keep up. that'd be her advantage.

what would suck though, is you're not the lovey dovey type...and men, they value that in women. if your response to "i feel bad" is, "you don't compute", then, yeah, you're likely to keep every guy..

but, if you're hot, it doesn't really even matter. a man's type is xxxx-with boobs.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Diligent Procrastinator said:


> I did. Unless you mean the post where you said you like some imaginary people and someone who understands you and likes to have fun... In which case we're still at nothing because understanding and not boring are pretty much a given. Why is it that you think no male you like will like you?


Because I just don't think I possess the traits that most guys want. I'm not soft or sweet at all- not really romantic- I'm incredibly independent- I need freedom above all else, I can be selfish and uncaring- I'm not the classic housewife who cooks dinner for her husband every night and wears dresses and dolls herself up to go out on a date...and I think a lot of ENTP girls are like that. Also- personally- I have trust issues and am not pretty, so...


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## Fievel (Jul 9, 2013)

I'm often fond of ENTP girls.


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## Playful Proxy (Feb 6, 2012)

Psssst, here's a hint, go for the smartasses or the INFJs (though you'll have to be the dominant one in the relationship, most likely). Everyone's different in their own specific types, but I think that'd probably be a good place to start. Smartass guys like smartass girls. It's a cycle. 

Don't try to pigeonhole yourself and think every guy wants the same stuff. All girls don't want the same type of guy, same concept.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

xisnotx said:


> i don't know you...certainly not enough to think anything of you. to me, you're just writing on a screen...
> 
> i'm just saying, if you're attractive, a guy's going to like you. you being entp has nothing to do with anything...
> 
> ...


I like this- it's honest. But I'm not attractive- I don't think.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Signify said:


> Psssst, here's a hint, go for the smartasses or the INFJs (though you'll have to be the dominant one in the relationship, most likely). Everyone's different in their own specific types, but I think that'd probably be a good place to start. Smartass guys like smartass girls. It's a cycle.
> 
> Don't try to pigeonhole yourself and think every guy wants the same stuff. All girls don't want the same type of guy, same concept.


LOL yeah- I don't know- I've always thought INFJ's might be too "feeling" for me.


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## the_natrix (Aug 10, 2011)

theredpanda said:


> No- like, my point is- I don't really see how a guy would like an ENTP girl- we're not soft, or sweet- we suck at relationships.


I don't mind someone that's rough around the edges, it's your core that's important in the long run. Surely someone near you holds this view too.


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## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

theredpanda said:


> Because I just don't think I possess the traits that most guys want. I'm not soft or sweet at all- not really romantic- I'm incredibly independent- I need freedom above all else, I can be selfish and uncaring- I'm not the classic housewife who cooks dinner for her husband every night and wears dresses and dolls herself up to go out on a date...and I think a lot of ENTP girls are like that. Also- personally- I have trust issues and am not pretty, so...


Strong, independent women are irresistibly sexy. Also, the average male finds most females at least somewhat attractive. I'm sure most guys think you're pretty.


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## Playful Proxy (Feb 6, 2012)

theredpanda said:


> LOL yeah- I don't know- I've always thought INFJ's might be too "feeling" for me.


Don't lie to me, (ENTP/INTP hybrid thing right here) and I know you've got feelings. They (INFJ's) arn't half bad, actually. The one I'm dating still has quite a brain so it's all good. Don't knock it till you've tried it. Also, bouncing from a heated discussion on if raindeer are the ones to make the sound or the bell on the raindeer is what makes the sound to cuddling is a plus.


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

Most men will read your 'personality', first, by your looks. Then depending on how (crazy, smart, difficult) the girl turns out to be, either adapt to it, ignore it or just move on because she isn't what they expected.


When you even read about men reporting on the MBTI types of women here, you have to take the Daphne/Velma Complex into consideration because there are high chances that those girls are being mistyped.

Many women who feel strange, unfeminine, and nerdy aren't perceived that way by men.


When you meet a guy who actually gets you and can perceive what's beneath the surface, your type won't matter since you'll likely have personal chemistry with that person.


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## badwolf (Jun 17, 2012)

theredpanda said:


> I don't know, I've kind of been wondering about this lately. I honestly don't think there's any guy out there that I'd like that actually wants someone like me...but I'd love to hear thoughts on this!


My first majorly giant crush was on an ENTP girl. The only reason it didn't work was because she turned out to be gay. 

But my point is that I disagree. There are plenty of guys out there for an ENTP girl. You just have to search.


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## OkWhat (Feb 28, 2014)

Diligent Procrastinator said:


> Strong, independent women are irresistibly sexy. Also, the average male finds most females at least somewhat attractive. I'm sure most guys think you're pretty.


Please, she doesn't want to be called pretty! She likes it when you say then she hates you right afterwards. She is ENTP trolling and she knows it! However, when I call her out on it she gets all sensitive. Yeah, lets talk about finding a romantic partner where physical attraction is not involved. Yet, she will be the first to not be interested in a guy if she isn't physically attracted to him.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

the_natrix said:


> I don't mind someone that's rough around the edges, it's your core that's important in the long run. Surely someone near you holds this view too.


No. I'm not really close to any guys.


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## xisnotx (Mar 20, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> I like this- it's honest. But I'm not attractive- I don't think.


thanks.

i wouldn't know..but i think women tend to not think of themselves as attractive as they really are. 

that's been my experience, at least.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

xisnotx said:


> thanks.
> 
> i wouldn't know..but i think women tend to not think of themselves as attractive as they really are.
> 
> that's been my experience, at least.


Maybe- I could see that. I don't really trust my own judgement of myself, honestly.


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## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

OkWhat said:


> Please, she doesn't want to be called pretty! She likes it when you say then she hates you right afterwards. She is ENTP trolling and she knows it! However, when I call her out on it she gets all sensitive. Yeah, lets talk about finding a romantic partner where physical attraction is not involved. Yet, she will be the first to not be interested in a guy if she isn't physically attracted to him.


STFU. All I saw you do was post about breasts. Are you 12?


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

OkWhat said:


> Please, she doesn't want to be called pretty! She likes it when you say then she hates you right afterwards. She is ENTP trolling and she knows it! However, when I call her out on it she gets all sensitive. Yeah, lets talk about finding a romantic partner where physical attraction is not involved. Yet, she will be the first to not be interested in a guy if she isn't physically attracted to him.


LOL- this is hilarious. Honestly, I'm not interested in a relationship atm...I just want to know if it's ever possible if I change my mind, which I probably won't


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## OkWhat (Feb 28, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> LOL- this is hilarious. Honestly, I'm not interested in a relationship atm...I just want to know if it's ever possible if I change my mind, which I probably won't


With that said, I bend down on my knees and thank the internet for porn! :laughing:


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

OkWhat said:


> With that said, I bend down on my knees and thank the internet for porn! :laughing:


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Diligent Procrastinator said:


> Strong, independent women are irresistibly sexy. Also, the average male finds most females at least somewhat attractive. I'm sure most guys think you're pretty.


Nah- I doubt it. Like- probably average- but not like pretty enough to fall in love with or anything.


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## Forest_for_the_Trees (May 3, 2013)

I think my Mum's an ENTP,
I think her current partner is an ISTP who she seems really happy with,
I think my Father was an ESTP, probably an unhealthy ESTP,
thinkers seem to work well for her, she may have felt like you at one stage?

Try male Ti types? they'll probably find it's a relief to date a female Ti type rather than female feelers who go feeler and emo on them :S? 

They'd probably really appreciate dating a female Ti user 

If it makes you feel better I can seem like lots of people's dream girlfriend because they don't really know me, I find first dates and first interviews seem to go pretty easily because it's kinda easy for me to know what people are looking for in a 'dream' girlfriend or underling, it's being myself that I have the most trouble with, and I don't really think I've found many people who are happy with me being me.

Weirdly I think I kinda have the same problem that ENTP women may have but the other way around because I think my Mum's an ENTP, I always feel like I need to be more thinker like and inadequate because I get feeler and emotional on some people sometimes.

I think everyone feels like you at some time- just persist, no-one feels like anyone's ideal type and INFPs who may fit a more stereotypical version of what is feminine can often have a lot of trouble just being themselves and even though an INFP woman may seem stereotypically feminine at the beginning- my personal experience is that it starts to get tough once I start trying to assert myself and who I really want to be.


Hope I've been helpful


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## OkWhat (Feb 28, 2014)

FullMoonLove said:


> I think my Mum's an ENTP,
> I think her current partner is an ISTP who she seems really happy with,
> I think my Father was an ESTP, probably an unhealthy ESTP,
> thinkers seem to work well for her, she may have felt like at one stage,
> ...


I like your name. It seems really romantic! However, then again you could take it as butt-loving. I don't know, I have a lot of problems.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

OkWhat said:


> I don't know, I have a lot of problems.


Really? :kitteh:


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## Lexicon Devil (Mar 14, 2014)

It does not matter if a woman has big boobs. It does matter if they have inverted nipples. :tongue:


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## Forest_for_the_Trees (May 3, 2013)

OkWhat said:


> I like your name. It seems really romantic! However, then again you could take it as butt-loving. I don't know, I have a lot of problems.


Ok :S maybe I should change it :S I was thinking romantically but I often don't get these innuendos :S


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## SharpestNiFe (Dec 16, 2012)

I'd take one for a test run.

But ultimately, I think I'd find them exhausting.

If I had to guess, I think I'd end up with an ENFP, ENFJ, or INTP lady.

Probably ENFJ though b/c I probably wasn't hugged enough as a child (half-joking).


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## OkWhat (Feb 28, 2014)

FullMoonLove said:


> Ok :S maybe I should change it :S I was thinking romantically but I often don't get these innuendos :S


No way!!! It is pretty awesome, multiple meanings is a plus in my book. :wink: I just wanted to point that out in case you start wondering why some of the weirdos seems overly attracted to you. You will have to figure out if they are weirdo romantic or weirdo sexuals. Should be fun either way. :laughing:


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## OkWhat (Feb 28, 2014)

Jeff Doe said:


> It does not matter if a woman has big boobs. It does matter if they have inverted nipples. :tongue:


I mean it isn't really a big deal unless you go in to motorboat and you find out its an inboard! :laughing:


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## Lexicon Devil (Mar 14, 2014)

Seriously, Redpanda, your Mayers-Briggs type is only one aspect of who a person is. I think we all should have a healthy detachment from our personality types. Don't worry there are plenty of people for each personality type. I'm sure there are a lot of ENTPs in successful relationships. Hang in there.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Jeff Doe said:


> Seriously, Redpanda, your Mayers-Briggs type is only one aspect of who a person is. I think we all should have a healthy detachment from our personality types. Don't worry there are plenty of people for each personality type.


Yeah, I know that- but it's not all just about my personality type. I do fit the entp female traits pretty well and it's easier to just say that than describing everything about myself.


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## Lexicon Devil (Mar 14, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> Yeah, I know that- but it's not all just about my personality type. I do fit the entp female traits pretty well and it's easier to just say that than describing everything about myself.


My answer was indeed responsive to your thread title. 

BTW, you do sound like you have inverted nipples. :laughing:


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Jeff Doe said:


> My answer was indeed responsive to your thread title.
> 
> BTW, you do sound like you have inverted nipples. :laughing:


 wow...


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## Lexicon Devil (Mar 14, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> wow...


It is just a silly joke. It makes no sense. Please dont be offended.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Jeff Doe said:


> It is just a silly joke. It makes no sense. Please dont be offended.


I'm an ENTP. I don't get offended. :kitteh:


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## Lexicon Devil (Mar 14, 2014)

Thanks. Respectfully, you do have a self-esteem problem. My advice is that everyday become more aware and appreciative of all the good in yourself. This is something I am working on to. Everyday think of five good things about yourself that is good. Sounds hokey but I do the same thing. If you feel you need to work on some aspects of yourself, just be patient while you work on them 

You mentioned you didnt think you look pretty. The right type of man will be attracted to your warm smile and confident eyes. Of course to a good man breast size is very low on the list. I wish you the best, Redpanda.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Jeff Doe said:


> Thanks. Respectfully, you do have a self-esteem problem. My advice is that everyday become more aware and appreciative of all the good in yourself. This is something I am working on to. Everyday think of five good things about yourself that is good. Sounds hokey but I do the same thing. If you feel you need to work on some aspects of yourself, just be patient while you work on them
> 
> You mentioned you didnt think you look pretty. The right type of man will be attracted to your warm smile and confident eyes. Of course to a good man breast size is very low on the list. I wish you the best, Redpanda.


My self-esteem is much better than it used to be. I'm actually a pretty confident person irl- or at least I know how to act like it  I mean, yeah, I think all girls have a bit of a self-esteem problem but i don't really care about looks. I don't think I'm pretty but i've gotten to the point where i don't really care. I mean- I have many more important things to accomplish in my life than trying to be hot or whatever- or trying to please some guy- that's part of the reason why I don't know if a guy would like me- because he's not the most important thing to me.


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## Lexicon Devil (Mar 14, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> My self-esteem is much better than it used to be. I'm actually a pretty confident person irl- or at least I know how to act like it  I mean, yeah, I think all girls have a bit of a self-esteem problem but i don't really care about looks. I don't think I'm pretty but i've gotten to the point where i don't really care. I mean- I have many more important things to accomplish in my life than trying to be hot or whatever- or trying to please some guy- that's part of the reason why I don't know if a guy would like me- because he's not the most important thing to me.


Well a lot of shallow guy you might not attract. There are men that dont care if a woman looks like a Hollywood beauty. And a lot of men want an independent woman and not one who is servile.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Jeff Doe said:


> Well a lot of shallow guy you might not attract. There are men that dont care if a woman looks like a Hollywood beauty. And a lot of men want an independent woman and not one who is servile.


Maybe- I don't know. I think I'm fun to have as a friend- but maybe not as a partner.


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## xisnotx (Mar 20, 2014)

what're you trying to accomplish?


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## Forest_for_the_Trees (May 3, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> but maybe not as a partner.


you're probably great as a partner- maybe just have some belief about what you should/ ought to be that's holding you back?
I think most people are probably great as partners if they are with the right person :-D


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

FullMoonLove said:


> you're probably great as a partner- maybe just have some belief about what you should/ ought to be that's holding you back?
> I think most people are probably great as partners if they are with the right person :-D


Maybe- probably stemming from a lot of Christian indoctrination of the "ideal wife" as a kid and even now- I am a Christian, though not a legalistic one at all- and it's hard sometimes, so I don't know, I might feel guilty in a relationship- that I wasn't being the best wife or whatever or that I was doing something against God...i don't know- i can't figure it out...


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## Lexicon Devil (Mar 14, 2014)

It's normal to be a bit confused. Just don't worry about it so much.


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## Villainous (Dec 31, 2012)

theredpanda said:


> I'm confident, but I do doubt a lot-


So then you're not confident as doubt is the antithesis of confidence. That statement is a contradiction. 

Sounds like you need more dating experience. Stop thinking, start dating


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Villainous said:


> So then you're not confident as doubt is the antithesis of confidence. That statement is a contradiction.
> 
> Sounds like you need more dating experience. Stop thinking, start dating


But...I don't want to. My whole personality is a paradox, btw...


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## Lexicon Devil (Mar 14, 2014)

All people are a complex mixture of confidence and doubt. You're perfectly normal. And if you dont want to date now that is fine of course.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Jeff Doe said:


> All people are a complex mixture of confidence and doubt. You're perfectly normal. And if you dont want to date now that is fine of course.


Yes- I know. I doubt I ever will because honestly, I don't think I'd let myself ever fall in love or whatever. And I've always just kind of said I'm unlovable anyway...but idk, maybe I am "lovable" but I'm just too stubborn to ever try because I don't want to get hurt like that...I think it's stupid...


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## Lexicon Devil (Mar 14, 2014)

Well I see your point. I have hurt and been hurt in relationships. At 46 I still dont no what I'm doing. But for me I dont sweat it that much. I will just accept platonic friendships for now, while working on myself. Who knows what the future will bring.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Jeff Doe said:


> Well I see your point. I have hurt and been hurt in relationships. At 46 I still dont no what I'm doing. But for me I dont sweat it that much. I will just accept platonic friendships for now, while working on myself. Who knows what the future will bring.


Yep- I don't think I'll ever SEEK out someone, IMO that's kind of pathetic- but if someone comes along, though I doubt anyone ever will- I'll decide then I guess...


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## Lexicon Devil (Mar 14, 2014)

Goodnight Redpanda. Nice to talk with you.


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## Empty (Sep 28, 2011)

ENTP women are my favorites.


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## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

theredpanda said:


> Nah- I doubt it. Like- probably average- but not like pretty enough to fall in love with or anything.


You don't need to be "omg she's a supermodel" attractive to have a guy fall in love with you. Perhaps stop complaining about how guys don't fall in love with you and just make some male friends, spend time with them... Meet them, know them... Relationships are way more than looks.

Perhaps that's WHY you don't find guys that "fall in love" with you. You're looking for good looking guys, rather than guys who are good.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Diligent Procrastinator said:


> You don't need to be "omg she's a supermodel" attractive to have a guy fall in love with you. Perhaps stop complaining about how guys don't fall in love with you and just make some male friends, spend time with them... Meet them, know them... Relationships are way more than looks.


Yeah I know- I don't want to date ATM- but I'm just saying I don't really have looks going for me.


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## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

theredpanda said:


> Yeah I know- I don't want to date ATM- but I'm just saying I don't really have looks going for me.


Oh well. At this point there's nothing more anybody here can say.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Diligent Procrastinator said:


> Oh well. At this point there's nothing more anybody here can say.


Lol- yeah- I think some guys might like me- I probably have more of a chance than I think- now I just have to deal with my own crap- my own thoughts and worries or whatever about that kind of stuff...


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Diligent Procrastinator said:


> Oh well. At this point there's nothing more anybody here can say.


Lol- yeah- I think some guys might like me- I probably have more of a chance than I think- now I just have to deal with my own crap- my own thoughts and worries or whatever about that kind of stuff...


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## kudi (Sep 27, 2011)

I and probably others have doubts about themselves and the future. What makes you strong is moving forward in spite of those doubts. To do otherwise is to wallow in self-doubt and self pity. While you maybe to used to taking risks in other areas of your life, if you are to achieve the same level of success in love you'll have to start taking risks in that area as well if you are to make any progress. 

I'm not sure what answers you want from us. For the question, "Does any guy seriously want an ENTP girl?", the answer is yes, lots of ENTP women are happy and married at this time and have been in the past. But if what you are trying to ask is, does any guy want _me_? Well then to be honest the answer is, I don't know. It's an unknown, so its up to you how best to move forward despite that uncertainty. Maybe you've already figured that out. Maybe you just waiting for enough people to affirm what you think about yourself to start believing it yourself or for them to validate the decision you've already made. And so, I've been totally unhelpful. :kitteh:. Good luck ENTP girl with whatever decision you ultimately make.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

kudi said:


> I and probably others have doubts about themselves and the future. What makes you strong is moving forward in spite of those doubts. To do otherwise is to wallow in self-doubt and self pity. While you maybe to used to taking risks in other areas of your life, if you are to achieve the same level of success in love you'll have to start taking risks in that area as well if you are to make any progress.
> 
> I'm not sure what answers you want from us. For the question, "Does any guy seriously want an ENTP girl?", the answer is yes, lots of ENTP women are happy and married at this time and have been in the past. But if what you are trying to ask is, does any guy want _me_? Well then to be honest the answer is, I don't know. It's an unknown, so its up to you how best to move forward despite that uncertainty. Maybe you've already figured that out. Maybe you just waiting for enough people to affirm what you think about yourself to start believing it yourself or for them to validate the decision you've already made. And so, I've been totally unhelpful. :kitteh:. Good luck ENTP girl with whatever decision you ultimately make.


No, actually this post was pretty helpful. I think I knew that, but I never really had put it into words.


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## PowerShell (Feb 3, 2013)

I could see an ENTP-ENTP relationship being cool. It would either be completely epic or crash and burn though.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

PowerShell said:


> I could see an ENTP-ENTP relationship being cool. It would either be completely epic or crash and burn though.


Haha yep- I've thought about that before


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## PowerShell (Feb 3, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> Haha yep- I've thought about that before


I think the biggest thing would be sharing values and having a similar background and outlook on life.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

PowerShell said:


> I think the biggest thing would be sharing values and having a similar background and outlook on life.


Yeah I connect so fast and awesomely with other entps...I love meeting them


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## PowerShell (Feb 3, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> Yeah I connect so fast and awesomely with other entps...I love meeting them


Even ENFP's are pretty cool.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

PowerShell said:


> Even ENFP's are pretty cool.


Yep I can second that


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## Villainous (Dec 31, 2012)

theredpanda said:


> But...I don't want to. My whole personality is a paradox, btw...


Well then you better get comfortable being alone. What was the point of your op anyway?


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## eydimork (Mar 19, 2014)

Yes. 

By all means be a weirdo, or a bitch, that's fine. I just don't like polygamy, cheating, joking about it, testing or pushing it. It's not MBTI related, it's "get away from me because you suck as a person" related. I'm sure there's tons of ENTP's out there who aren't choking up in their own chocolate starfish. Just like I don't think that most people who watch Fox News are xSTJ.


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## infpheart (Jan 4, 2014)

We accept everyone usually and we have Ne.


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## Swede (Apr 2, 2013)

Yeah, I'd say that first you figure out who YOU are and what YOU like and then you go from there. The dating experience is always better when you know yourself and when you are mature enough to listen both to yourself and your partner.

I am an INTJ woman. I have not had a problem with getting attention from men - which is not the same as getting the attention from ALL men. Some men are attracted to intelligent and independent women (but not always for the right reason! Important to keep in mind.). Some men prefer a partner/another adult. Some men are attracted to personality first and looks second (there are demisexual men out there.) Some men are attracted to looks first, but will reassess their impression of your looks as they get to know you better (beauty is in the eye of the beholder). Some men are attracted to looks only, no matter what - you will likely not connect with that type of man, so no loss for you.

I will say that when I became more popular with the opposite gender was when I started to study engineering in college. I am guessing because 
- many intelligent (self-confident and mature) men prefer to date intelligent women
- engineering is full of NTs, so our way of thinking is more similar to each other and therefore it is easier for us to relate. A lot of my MSc friends are married to our class-mates.
Maybe it's as simple as you have not been around the 'right type' of people?

Things you can think about - when you are ready to start looking for dates or whatever you would like to look for: 
Are you approachable? Do you come across as intimidating? Are you good about reading signals? Are you good at flirting (as in, do you understand when men flirt with you. Can you flirt and show interest?)? 
These are some of the problems I ran into, that's why I bring them up. lol

Anyway, nothing in this thread will really matter until you get to the point when you are seriously getting interested in dating - why worry abut something that you are not ready for? There are too many other things to worry about - give yourself a break!


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Swede said:


> Yeah, I'd say that first you figure out who YOU are and what YOU like and then you go from there. The dating experience is always better when you know yourself and when you are mature enough to listen both to yourself and your partner.
> 
> I am an INTJ woman. I have not had a problem with getting attention from men - which is not the same as getting the attention from ALL men. Some men are attracted to intelligent and independent women (but not always for the right reason! Important to keep in mind.). Some men prefer a partner/another adult. Some men are attracted to personality first and looks second (there are demisexual men out there.) Some men are attracted to looks first, but will reassess their impression of your looks as they get to know you better (beauty is in the eye of the beholder). Some men are attracted to looks only, no matter what - you will likely not connect with that type of man, so no loss for you.
> 
> ...


Thank you. Yeah idk I worry about things a lot but I'm also pretty laid back...


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## OkWhat (Feb 28, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> Thank you. Yeah idk I worry about things a lot but I'm also pretty laid back...


Well, yeah, my penis is really big for being below average.


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## Persephone (Nov 14, 2009)

ANY guy? Yeah probably. 99% of the guys? Hell no. People are attracted, in general, to the opposite sexual energy. Which means men are attracted to more feminine women, and women are attracted to more masculine men. (Hence you see a lot of INFx men post about being friendzoned). NT women, studies show, are seen as more masculine. Poor INTP gals are see as the MOST unlikeable of all type gender combinations (out of all the adjectives people stick them with, all but one was negative. And the nonnegative one was NEUTRAL, of all things. ESFJ girls are the most loved. Is that any surprise?). INTJ women fare SLIGHTLY better, but on the whole still not very well liked. I haven't seen analogous reports for ENTPs but I can predict what it's like. Point is: most PEOPLE don't like an NT girl's type/gender combination. There are people out there who will like you. But just as you are a rare and unusual person, it usually takes an unusual person to stomach you. And unfortunately for you they're not to be found in abundance.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

I've never understood this kind of thread. Not all ENTPs are the same, and not all ENTP women are the same. I am as open to dating an ENTP as I am to dating any other type.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Persephone said:


> ANY guy? Yeah probably. 99% of the guys? Hell no. People are attracted, in general, to the opposite sexual energy. Which means men are attracted to more feminine women, and women are attracted to more masculine men. (Hence you see a lot of INFx men post about being friendzoned). NT women, studies show, are seen as more masculine. Poor INTP gals are see as the MOST unlikeable of all type gender combinations (out of all the adjectives people stick them with, all but one was negative. And the nonnegative one was NEUTRAL, of all things. ESFJ girls are the most loved. Is that any surprise?). INTJ women fare SLIGHTLY better, but on the whole still not very well liked. I haven't seen analogous reports for ENTPs but I can predict what it's like. Point is: most PEOPLE don't like an NT girl's type/gender combination. There are people out there who will like you. But just as you are a rare and unusual person, it usually takes an unusual person to stomach you. And unfortunately for you they're not to be found in abundance.


Yeah that's kind of what I figured. I've actually been mistaken over the internet as a guy before...


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

theredpanda said:


> Yeah that's kind of what I figured. I've actually been mistaken over the internet as a guy before...


Which says nothing about you as a person. It just says that people made the assumption that you were male because your posts or actions fit with their ideas of how a male would post or act online.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

skycloud86 said:


> Which says nothing about you as a person. It just says that people made the assumption that you were male because your posts or actions fit with their ideas of how a male would post or act online.


Yes, irl there would be no mistake that I'm a girl...but a lot of my guy friends see me like "one of the guys" kind of, which isn't a bad thing- although I'm kin of adorable and sometimes they feel the need to "protect me" if you get what I mean.


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## Sunn (Mar 12, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> I don't know, I've kind of been wondering about this lately. I honestly don't think there's any guy out there that I'd like that actually wants someone like me...but I'd love to hear thoughts on this!


INTJ and ENTP's work. :wink:


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## Lexicon Devil (Mar 14, 2014)

ItsSunnyOutHere said:


> INTJ and ENTP's work. :wink:


Well here's a nice hansome guy for you, and he likes to cook too. Do a background and credit check, and you're in business. :tongue:


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## Sunn (Mar 12, 2014)

Jeff Doe said:


> Well here's a nice hansome guy for you, and he likes to cook too. Do a background and credit check, and you're in business. :tongue:


I'm taken buddy'o pal :tongue: just pointing out that there's alot of people out there with the INTJ aspects that're possible.


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## ladyofshalott (Feb 8, 2014)

I'm pretty darn confident one of my friends is an ENTP and lots of guys seem interested in her, she's pretty gorgeous which obviously helps...I'm going to say potentially lots of guys? Though what would I know, I'm not a guy and I'm an INTP which is not conducive to relationship success. I do feel the same way sometimes, i guess INTP and ENTP are not going to be people who have a lot of stereotypically feminine qualities so might not be what some guys are after. But this friend nevertheless seems to have little trouble (being confident and extroverted as opposed to me helps haha)


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

My best friend is an ENTP she kinda sounds like you.

Um I am not punning you just thinking of her specifically. 

She comes on way too strong. I can't even tell ya how many times I have told her to chill out.

I am not one that believe in dating rules of every sort. But common sense does say not to come off so maybe (in her case) way too eager for fricken adoration.


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## Frenetic Tranquility (Aug 5, 2011)

ENTP female sounds just fine to me. Would be fun.


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> No- like, my point is- I don't really see how a guy would like an ENTP girl- we're not soft, or sweet- we suck at relationships. Like, I said I'm not really sure what kind of guys I like- I've never really been romantically interested in anyone, it really depends- I like V from V for Vendetta (INFJ) and Will Graham from Hannibal (INFP- most likely)- although I've never met an INFP irl and I can't connect with INFJs- I think I'm pretty picky tho...the most important thing I guess for me would be someone who understand me (which is really hard to do) and someone who likes to have fun. Does that help?



Why would anyone want someone soft and sweet? Those words seem euphemisms for "weak" and "a pussy."


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## Frenetic Tranquility (Aug 5, 2011)

Oscuras:5967362 said:


> theredpanda said:
> 
> 
> > No- like, my point is- I don't really see how a guy would like an ENTP girl- we're not soft, or sweet- we suck at relationships. Like, I said I'm not really sure what kind of guys I like- I've never really been romantically interested in anyone, it really depends- I like V from V for Vendetta (INFJ) and Will Graham from Hannibal (INFP- most likely)- although I've never met an INFP irl and I can't connect with INFJs- I think I'm pretty picky tho...the most important thing I guess for me would be someone who understand me (which is really hard to do) and someone who likes to have fun. Does that help?
> ...


/Agree. This is why I steer clear of the ENTJs.


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

I'm about as soft as a very serrated shard of frozen solid hydrogen and as sweet as a shot of denatonium benzoate. My partner is an INTJ that has a lot of spooky similarities with dr. Jozef Mengele. 


...It's the best relationship I ever had, and ever saw anywhere, in real life, literature or film. :kitteh:


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## NIHM (Mar 24, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> I don't know, I've kind of been wondering about this lately. I honestly don't think there's any guy out there that I'd like that actually wants someone like me...but I'd love to hear thoughts on this!


I thought you were dating someone? Did something happen? If I was into girls I would find you dating material


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## Cotillion (Mar 26, 2013)

ISFJs, ehm halloo? anyone?


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## HellCat (Jan 17, 2013)

I don't think people understand how deeply sensitive and cautious inside Nt's are. They just stereotype and presume. Rather than do the work to find that secret place inside them that is softer, humble, fearful, sensitive and painstaking to share contrasting with the gushing out, pillowy lacy girl emotional display often used to emotionally blackmail and manipulate, I might add. That is so culturally celebrated and the gender role we are expected to adhere and simply cannot.


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## Elvish Lives (Nov 29, 2013)

I don't think ENTP women necessarily want any specific type of guy (except for funtime), so I think the street runs both ways. That famous independent streak can, at times, have a pronounced "eff off" stench to it.

Now, if you mosey over to the INFJ board you'll find a lot of guys there sweating ENTP girls. So I'm not sure that your hypothesis is correct, though I do understand where you're coming from. INFJ guys are in much the same boat as ENTP women. That is to say, we're hardly society's ideal of what a man _should_ be (ESTx). In fact, we're kinda the opposite. What it boils down to, though, is that our services fill a niche market. Most people don't want us, but for the one's that do, nothing else will suffice. We're the $20/jar unpasturized organic honey that everyone passes over for the $3/jar of generic stuff.

Keep shopping in the IN department and you'll find someone eventually.


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

By that analogy, what are ENTJ women? And what are ENTJ men?


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

NIHM said:


> I thought you were dating someone? Did something happen? If I was into girls I would find you dating material


This thread was before that LOL


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## NIHM (Mar 24, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> This thread was before that LOL


Ahhh *light bulb*


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## FakeLefty (Aug 19, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> This thread was before that LOL


Well, then. Your question has been answered :laughing:


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

FakeLefty said:


> Well, then. Your question has been answered :laughing:


Yes it has haha- I guess some guys like insane and sociopathic girls...


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## FakeLefty (Aug 19, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> Yes it has haha- I guess some guys like insane and sociopathic girls...


Well...

1) Some guys love challenges
2) There are some people out there who are more insane and sociopathic than you :laughing:


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

FakeLefty said:


> Well...
> 
> 1) Some guys love challenges
> 2) There are some people out there who are more insane and sociopathic than you :laughing:


He's not insane or sociopathic LOL- I freak him out sometimes haha


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## FakeLefty (Aug 19, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> He's not insane or sociopathic LOL- I freak him out sometimes haha


How could anyone stand not being insane/sociopathic? Being insane/sociopathic is so much fun!


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

FakeLefty said:


> How could anyone stand not being insane/sociopathic? Being insane/sociopathic is so much fun!


I know right!!!!! XD


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## FakeLefty (Aug 19, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> I know right!!!!! XD


I bet I'm more insane/sociopathic than you :tongue:


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

FakeLefty said:


> I bet I'm more insane/sociopathic than you :tongue:


Nah I seriously doubt that


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## FakeLefty (Aug 19, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> Nah I seriously doubt that


Really? What are some crazy things that YOU'VE done?

I'm in college so I automatically earn my crazy badge XD


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

FakeLefty said:


> Really? What are some crazy things that YOU'VE done?
> 
> I'm in college so I automatically earn my crazy badge XD


Well then that's just not fair- I'll bet when I'm in college I'll be twice as crazy


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## FakeLefty (Aug 19, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> Well then that's just not fair- I'll bet when I'm in college I'll be twice as crazy


Ha, we'll see about that.

Some of the weird-ish but fun things that I've done:

Went on a ride on a truck bed like a *******
Became a terror while having a snowball fight; nothing strikes fear quite like throwing 60 mph point-blank range nutshots.
Began to convince some of my friends that I was actually sociopathic XD
Played baseball with leftover Taco Bell burritos
Used a dumpster lid as a sled
Went on a streak in which I drank a liter of Mountain Dew/Brisk every day 
Stood in the middle of the road as cars whizzed by in front and behind me, and giving absolutely 0 fucks about the possibility of getting run over.
Wandering outside for an hour and a half even when it was below 10 degrees Fahrenheit and coming home nearly frostbitten
Wandered around the huge campus of my school for an hour and a half to two hours during a snowstorm. By the time I got back my hands were frozen to the point where I couldn't even put on gloves.
Walking outside in freezing weather in nothing but a t-shirt and gym shorts


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> Nah I seriously doubt that


Want to be friends?


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

Other NT's, probably. I'm INTJ so I'm supposed to want one of you or an ENFP.  haha. You said they suck at relationships but that's kind of true for all the NTs lol. My issue at this point in my life is more to do with maturity, I feel that I'm more mature than a lot of my peers and that includes a lot of women. I think an immature (or less mature than me) ENTP would be a turnoff for me, or going by experience at least not interested in dating. If I were to be attracted to one it would be because of the extroversion, the seemingly natural ability to carry on a conversation, and similar ways of thinking (things that I look for and find in most other NT types) -- ahh NT's are so hard to find though


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

ninjahitsawall said:


> Other NT's, probably. I'm INTJ so I'm supposed to want one of you or an ENFP.  haha. You said they suck at relationships but that's kind of true for all the NTs lol. My issue at this point in my life is more to do with maturity, I feel that I'm more mature than a lot of my peers and that includes a lot of women. I think an immature (or less mature than me) ENTP would be a turnoff for me, or going by experience at least not interested in dating. If I were to be attracted to one it would be because of the extroversion, the seemingly natural ability to carry on a conversation, and similar ways of thinking (things that I look for and find in most other NT types) -- ahh NT's are so hard to find though


You may also want an ENTJ, I'm with an INTJ and it's perfect


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## Edmunds.T (Apr 27, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> Because I just don't think I possess the traits that *most guys* want.


That may or may not be true. But you don't need to most guys to like you. 


theredpanda said:


> I'm not soft or sweet at all- not really romantic- I'm incredibly independent- I need freedom above all else


I believe most guys will be happy that you are not romantic! It's because (I believe) most men don't like to be romantic themselves.
You are independent and need freedom? GOOD! That's very good! Because if that wouldn't be the case then you would be too needy. And would scare off most men. It's not only good - but it's necessary! One possibility of when it wouldn't be good is when the man itself is needy.
About soft and sweet. I believe they are both - relative and subjective terms. Well yes - many man won't be attracted to that. But so what? All you need is ->one<- man to not mind it. Who knows? Maybe NT type men don't even need it?



theredpanda said:


> I can be selfish and uncaring


Selfish is not good! Don't be like that if you want a relationship!
But uncaring? It makes sense for you to be uncaring. You are an independent thinker type, and people in your family are probably just as independent as you. So it makes perfect sense for you to be uncaring.
Chances are your husband will be just as independent as you (otherwise he wouldn't be attractive for you) and your child will grow up to be just as independent as you.
But all in all. If you fall in love with someone - you WILL care for him. It's inevitable. Because that's the definition of love. That you care so much for the person that can actually do something that is bad for you just to make him/her happy. Example: all parents will do something that is good for their children but their children will hate them for that. So the parents get no benefit from it - so love is the only thing that can make a person "sacrifice" themselves for someone else.


theredpanda said:


> I'm not the classic housewife who cooks dinner for her husband


Many men LOVE to make the food themselves. In fact - they will "kick out" their GF or wife from the kitchen. Most of my friends are like that.


theredpanda said:


> every night and wears dresses and dolls herself up to go out on a date


You think men will want to go on dates once they are in a long term relationship? Dream on!


theredpanda said:


> Also- personally- I have trust issues and am not pretty, so...


trust issues = bad but not the end of the world.
That you are not pretty - that's bad. Because for a men to want to make the FIRST contact with you - they HAVE to be physically attracted to you. Otherwise - no chance in hell.


theredpanda said:


> I'm an ENTP. I don't get offended. :kitteh:


BS


Btw. A little advice. I have the feeling you will be one of the needy GFs who fish for compliments from their BF because of their low self esteem. Now you can't denie that - because all this thread is because of low self esteem. And don't give me that "I'm a thinker not a feeler, so it had nothing to do with emotions" crap.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Edmunds.T said:


> That may or may not be true. But you don't need to most guys to like you.
> 
> I believe most guys will be happy that you are not romantic! It's because (I believe) most men don't like to be romantic themselves.
> You are independent and need freedom? GOOD! That's very good! Because if that wouldn't be the case then you would be too needy. And would scare off most men. It's not only good - but it's necessary! One possibility of when it wouldn't be good is when the man itself is needy.
> ...


Thank you- that was brutally honest and I like that. Actually my family aren't as independent as I am- I can care but it's pretty rare for me to. I have a crapload of self-doubt all the time- but irl I act pretty arrogant and a little narcissistic because I see my self-doubt as I weakness that I hate to show. I honestly am not sure if I ever will get married and am too scared to have kids tho.


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## HellCat (Jan 17, 2013)

ninjahitsawall said:


> Other NT's, probably. I'm INTJ so I'm supposed to want one of you or an ENFP.  haha. You said they suck at relationships but that's kind of true for all the NTs lol. My issue at this point in my life is more to do with maturity, I feel that I'm more mature than a lot of my peers and that includes a lot of women. I think an immature (or less mature than me) ENTP would be a turnoff for me, or going by experience at least not interested in dating. If I were to be attracted to one it would be because of the extroversion, the seemingly natural ability to carry on a conversation, and similar ways of thinking (things that I look for and find in most other NT types) -- ahh NT's are so hard to find though


There is literature out there teaching one how to refrain from sucking at them our whole lives. Also many helpful websites. Teaching things such as vulnerability and trust. I like Brene Brown. 

I had these quotes on my desktop quicknotes program all year while trying to force myself to open up and trust someone. I used it as a guideline of sorts. 



But the one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can.

The moment that you feel that, just possibly, you're walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself. That's the moment you may be starting to get it right.

Vulnerability is about sharing your truth, your heart, your soul, your reality, your experience, your needs, your wants, your desires, your fears, your questions, your (perceived) failings, your curiosities, your thoughts, your concerns, your shame, your worries, the words your inner voice whispers to you, the words your inner critic shouts in your ear, your ideas, your hopes, your dreams, yourself….exactly as you are, without the filters.

courage is not the absence of fear, it’s simply the decision that something else is more important.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

LeoCat said:


> There is literature out there teaching one how to refrain from sucking at them our whole lives. Also many helpful websites. Teaching things such as vulnerability and trust. I like Brene Brown.
> 
> I had these quotes on my desktop quicknotes program all year while trying to force myself to open up and trust someone. I used it as a guideline of sorts.
> 
> ...


I used to be terrified of vulnerability- until I decided I didn't want to be afraid anymore. Now I get hurt a lot and its incredibly frustrating and depressing at times but at least im not afraid anymore.


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## HellCat (Jan 17, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> I used to be terrified of vulnerability- until I decided I didn't want to be afraid anymore. Now I get hurt a lot and its incredibly frustrating and depressing at times but at least im not afraid anymore.


Physically nothing scares me, I do multiple martial arts, I love thrill sports.. emotionally the concept of telling someone I love them or admitting there is power over me. 

I would rather drink hemlock than be unsafe emotionally. I have panic attacks over it.

So I think you are very brave to be hurt and yet still willing.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

LeoCat said:


> Physically nothing scares me, I do multiple martial arts, I love thrill sports.. emotionally the concept of telling someone I love them or admitting there is power over me.
> 
> I would rather drink hemlock than be unsafe emotionally. I have panic attacks over it.
> 
> So I think you are very brave to be hurt and yet still willing.


I don't know if I am still willing tho. I hate being hurt and each time it happens another part of me becomes cold. One day I probably will just become completely cold hearted and closed off- no relationships (friendships or otherwise) work out and I always end up getting hurt or hurting the other person- so I'm incredibly guarded. But I refuse to be afraid.


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## Edmunds.T (Apr 27, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> But I refuse to be afraid.


That's right. Never give up!
Living in a shell is no road to happiness.

I like fighter spirits


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Edmunds.T said:


> That's right. Never give up!
> Living in a shell is no road to happiness.
> 
> I like fighter spirits


No- I'm not a coward. I'm trying not to be afraid of anything because fear is a prison and I must be free. Freedom is extremely important to me and I won't let fear take that from me.


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## OkWhat (Feb 28, 2014)

LeoCat said:


> Physically nothing scares me, I do multiple martial arts, I love thrill sports.. emotionally the concept of telling someone I love them or admitting there is power over me.
> 
> I would rather drink hemlock than be unsafe emotionally. I have panic attacks over it.
> 
> So I think you are very brave to be hurt and yet still willing.


Love is a thrill sport, just make sure you pull the cord before smacking into the ground. :happy:


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## HellCat (Jan 17, 2013)

OkWhat said:


> Love is a thrill sport, just make sure you pull the cord before smacking into the ground. :happy:


Not when it is against your will. It is more like a suicide mission. No thanks. 

Nice analogy.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

OkWhat said:


> Love is a thrill sport, just make sure you pull the cord before smacking into the ground. :happy:


You can't always pull the cord and make yourself stop falling, I guess...


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

theredpanda said:


> I don't know, I've kind of been wondering about this lately. I honestly don't think there's any guy out there that I'd like that actually wants someone like me...but I'd love to hear thoughts on this!


It's probably not a type thing, at least not directly.


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## Edmunds.T (Apr 27, 2014)

A little idea. If you think that you are not pretty. Beauty is largely a state of your health. And it can be dramatically affected by your diet.
There is a book called "Eating for Beauty by David Wolfe". Consider reading it. Since nothing bad can happen from getting new information, right?

Some interesting stuff there. For example: did you know that if you have a tooth cavady you can stop the tooth decay by killing the bacteria that is causing it and then HEAL your tooth by remineralizing it with a propper diet? I didn't.

Actually I don't even have the book. I found out about it in a youtube video called "DENTISTS HATE THIS VIDEO!". So I have no idea how good or bad the book actually is.


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## OkWhat (Feb 28, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> You can't always pull the cord and make yourself stop falling, I guess...


You just have to keep your eyes open and noticed when the ride is coming to an end. Some last longer than a human's lifespan, others last as long as the time it takes to read this.


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## Chest (Apr 14, 2014)

No, you're doomed.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

OkWhat said:


> You just have to keep your eyes open and noticed when the ride is coming to an end. Some last longer than a human's lifespan, others last as long as the time it takes to read this.


I agree with that


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## OkWhat (Feb 28, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> I agree with that


Honestly, I bet most of the times you have gotten hurt you already knew something wasn't right. I have done it in every failed relationship, I knew it something wasn't right that there was a definite expiration date but I kept riding. I don't to that anymore, actually I have been on enough rides I don't even get on the kiddie ones anymore. :happy:


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

OkWhat said:


> Honestly, I bet most of the times you have gotten hurt you already knew something wasn't right. I have done it in every failed relationship, I knew it something wasn't right that there was a definite expiration date but I kept riding. I don't to that anymore, actually I have been on enough rides I don't even get on the kiddie ones anymore. :happy:


Eh- kind of- nothing ever feels completely right to me tho. I can always be cynical and pessimistic and find faults in anything. Nothing is ever perfect. Seems to me like I'm just meant to do life alone, honestly. But I don't WANT to.


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## FakeLefty (Aug 19, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> Eh- kind of- nothing ever feels completely right to me tho. I can always be cynical and pessimistic and find faults in anything. Nothing is ever perfect. Seems to me like I'm just meant to do life alone, honestly. But I don't WANT to.


Then don't. There are more than 7 billion human beings on earth. There is a greater probability that you'll end up with someone than not. Someone will find you attractive, and for a long time too. You can keep telling yourself that you're not pretty or good enough and keep your head in the dark, but with that you'll never be able to truly see how beautiful the world can be, with all its opportunities, all the experiences you can try, all the people you can meet... Keep being optimistic and tell yourself that you're a brilliant piece of living art that you are and keep moving and keep searching. Someday you'll find someone. I promise.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

FakeLefty said:


> Then don't. There are more than 7 billion human beings on earth. There is a greater probability that you'll end up with someone than not. Someone will find you attractive, and for a long time too. You can keep telling yourself that you're not pretty or good enough and keep your head in the dark, but with that you'll never be able to truly see how beautiful the world can be, with all its opportunities, all the experiences you can try, all the people you can meet... Keep being optimistic and tell yourself that you're a brilliant piece of living art that you are and keep moving and keep searching. Someday you'll find someone. I promise.


Well, okay- somebody already has, but right now we can't be together and I don't know if we ever will be able to. I don't want a bunch of stupid relationship drama with 10 ex boyfriends and whatnot, so since I still love him I won't move on, unless I ever stop loving him which idk if I will. He still loves me too, but I think he will move on from me eventually.
I think all my low self-esteem and stuff is probably a defense mechanism. The whole "think the worst so you'll never be disappointed" thing.


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## FakeLefty (Aug 19, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> Well, okay- somebody already has, but right now we can't be together and I don't know if we ever will be able to. I don't want a bunch of stupid relationship drama with 10 ex boyfriends and whatnot, so since I still love him I won't move on, unless I ever stop loving him which idk if I will. He still loves me too, but I think he will move on from me eventually.
> I think all my low self-esteem and stuff is probably a defense mechanism. The whole "think the worst so you'll never be disappointed" thing.


Only time will tell. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't. You move on, no matter how painful it may be. Life is too short to look back to a past that you'll never be able to revisit.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

FakeLefty said:


> Only time will tell. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't. You move on, no matter how painful it may be. Life is too short to look back to a past that you'll never be able to revisit.


Yeah I know- but I hate waiting :/ Hate to sound overly dramatic and romantic and all that crap but I don't think I want to love anyone else in that way. I kinda said I'd let myself fall completely in love only once and if it worked out, wonderful- if not, then that would be fine too. Just gotta play the cards I'm dealt.


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## HellCat (Jan 17, 2013)

The sweet, encouraging guys on this board almost give me faith. It seems to me the women are so much harder and cynical here. mind blowing.


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## FakeLefty (Aug 19, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> Yeah I know- but I hate waiting :/ Hate to sound overly dramatic and romantic and all that crap but I don't think I want to love anyone else in that way. I kinda said I'd let myself fall completely in love only once and if it worked out, wonderful- if not, then that would be fine too. Just gotta play the cards I'm dealt.


Life is too full of possibilities for you to pigeon-hole yourself like that. You're what, 15? 16? It's too early in your life to dive into absolutes like that.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

FakeLefty said:


> Life is too full of possibilities for you to pigeon-hole yourself like that. You're what, 15? 16? It's too early in your life to dive into absolutes like that.


Eh :/ I'm kinda driven to the "lone wolf" lifestyle as well. Whatever happens I can use for my benefit- like I said, gotta play the cards you're dealt. I am an "all or nothing" kind of person- with everything tho. Gonna end up being my downfall but I just don't care.


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## FakeLefty (Aug 19, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> Eh :/ I'm kinda driven to the "lone wolf" lifestyle as well. Whatever happens I can use for my benefit- like I said, gotta play the cards you're dealt. I am an "all or nothing" kind of person- with everything tho. Gonna end up being my downfall but I just don't care.


Don't decide yet. Life is far more volatile than you think. What may seem appealing to you right now can seem distasteful in the future.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

FakeLefty said:


> Don't decide yet. Life is far more volatile than you think. What may seem appealing to you right now can seem distasteful in the future.


Of course- I know that from experience. It does seem like there's a very good possibility of me ending up living my dreams, but then another good possibility of me failing and ending up homeless on the streets getting raped and murdered or something :/


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## FakeLefty (Aug 19, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> Of course- I know that from experience. It does seem like there's a very good possibility of me ending up living my dreams, but then another good possibility of me failing and ending up homeless on the streets getting raped and murdered or something :/


Keep your hopes up and keep dreaming. Keep looking at other possibilities and never hold on to things that will get you nowhere.


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## SweetPickles (Mar 19, 2012)

My ENTJ husband dated an ENTP briefly when he was younger, he said it was the best sex he ever had. It was only brief because it was very long distance. Yes...he really told me that LOL. I would never reveal who my favorites were.

If that makes you ENTP ladies feel better LOL.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

FakeLefty said:


> Keep your hopes up and keep dreaming. Keep looking at other possibilities and never hold on to things that will get you nowhere.


But that's the thing- I don't want to get my hopes up.


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## FakeLefty (Aug 19, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> But that's the thing- I don't want to get my hopes up.


There's nothing wrong with feeling disappointment and the likes. It's an inevitable part of life. Sure, it's painful, but it's a part of life that you have to learn to overcome. Not everything is gonna go your way and you're gonna be disappointed several more times in your lifetime. By losing hope and trying to be callous to such things, you're letting yourself lose to disappointment; something that everybody faces anyway. 

Think about it this way, out of the millions of sperm cells that could have turned into life, the sperm cell that has your genes made it. Against all odds, you were born. You already made it through one of the most difficult tasks in life which is to be born in the first place. Not only that, you made it through 15-16 years; through all the issues a small child could go through and the potentially shitty middle school and half of high school life. You're an incredible being to begin with. Are you gonna let yourself be beaten down by something as mundane as disappointment?


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

FakeLefty said:


> There's nothing wrong with feeling disappointment and the likes. It's an inevitable part of life. Sure, it's painful, but it's a part of life that you have to learn to overcome. Not everything is gonna go your way and you're gonna be disappointed several more times in your lifetime. By losing hope and trying to be callous to such things, you're letting yourself lose to disappointment; something that everybody faces anyway.
> 
> Think about it this way, out of the millions of sperm cells that could have turned into life, the sperm cell that has your genes made it. Against all odds, you were born. You already made it through one of the most difficult tasks in life which is to be born in the first place. Not only that, you made it through 15-16 years; through all the issues a small child could go through and the potentially shitty middle school and half of high school life. You're an incredible being to begin with. Are you gonna let yourself be beaten down by something as mundane as disappointment?


EVERYONE is "incredible" in that sense. It's nothing special. My reasoning has always been, "Don't get your hopes up, always expect the worst so you'll always be pleasantly surprised." So, I think the lowest of myself and of everything- that way I don't have to be disappointed, even when I fail. But- I normally act like I think I'm better than I actually think I do- I act pretty self-confident and arrogant actually. But inside, I'm not arrogant at all- quite the opposite. No, I normally don't let myself get beaten down by disappointment because I don't let myself experience it...although there are a few times where I've gone "screw that!"- and then I got my hopes up and got hurt.


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## FakeLefty (Aug 19, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> EVERYONE is "incredible" in that sense. It's nothing special. My reasoning has always been, "Don't get your hopes up, always expect the worst so you'll always be pleasantly surprised." So, I think the lowest of myself and of everything- that way I don't have to be disappointed, even when I fail. But- I normally act like I think I'm better than I actually think I do- I act pretty self-confident and arrogant actually. But inside, I'm not arrogant at all- quite the opposite. No, I normally don't let myself get beaten down by disappointment because I don't let myself experience it...although there are a few times where I've gone "screw that!"- and then I got my hopes up and got hurt.


You say that you don't let yourself get beaten by disappointment, but you actually are. You're letting the fear of disappointment destroy you. You're so afraid of being disappointed that you've destroyed your self esteem and any chances of optimism.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

FakeLefty said:


> You say that you don't let yourself get beaten by disappointment, but you actually are. You're letting the fear of disappointment destroy you. You're so afraid of being disappointed that you've destroyed your self esteem and any chances of optimism.


THAT...is very true. But I can also be pretty optimistic...then I get hurt :/


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## FakeLefty (Aug 19, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> THAT...is very true. But I can also be pretty optimistic...then I get hurt :/


Being hurt from optimism happens to everyone. Even me. But instead of trying to avoid it, you have to let yourself feel it and rise above it; grow stronger. Life isn't about dodging whatever painful thing comes your way; it's about being knocked down time and time again, but being strong enough to get back up and keep fighting. THAT is true strength, and you can achieve it too.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

FakeLefty said:


> Being hurt from optimism happens to everyone. Even me. But instead of trying to avoid it, you have to let yourself feel it and rise above it; grow stronger. Life isn't about dodging whatever painful thing comes your way; it's about being knocked down time and time again, but being strong enough to get back up and keep fighting. THAT is true strength, and you can achieve it too.


Good advice. But- I don't want to lie to myself- I don't want to be TOO optimistic, if you get what I'm saying. But then- I don't know what is truth or what to be confident in.


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## FakeLefty (Aug 19, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> Good advice. But- I don't want to lie to myself- I don't want to be TOO optimistic, if you get what I'm saying. But then- I don't know what is truth or what to be confident in.


On one end of the spectrum is being delusional, and on the other end of the spectrum is having a non-existent self-esteem. It may be hard for you to pinpoint what counts as delusional, so start out by not destroying your self-esteem.


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## HellCat (Jan 17, 2013)

I think her issue is not so much self esteem but trust in general.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

LeoCat said:


> I think her issue is not so much self esteem but trust in general.


I think it's both.


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## HellCat (Jan 17, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> I think it's both.


Why would you have low self esteem?


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

LeoCat said:


> Why would you have low self esteem?


Long story


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## RobynC (Jun 10, 2011)

Reasonably speaking, ENTP's can be awesome providing they aren't too domineering or reckless as they can be remarkably adventurous and creative!


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## HellCat (Jan 17, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> Long story


I have time.


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## Ugunti (Oct 10, 2013)

I would be fine with an ENTP girl.


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## Dalton (Jun 10, 2013)

Ugh, ENTPs??? Don't get me started.

*Tries to come up with an extensive list of bad traits*

I got nothing.

If I came across an ENTP girl that fit the qualities I admire, I would definitely. I can get a bit overwhelmed by how outer-worldly Ne can be at times (I have no imagination), but depending on how it's expressed, it's refreshing for me. It depends on the individual. I like NTs anyway, so ENTP is high in the list of types to which I'm attracted.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Dalton said:


> Ugh, ENTPs??? Don't get me started.
> 
> *Tries to come up with an extensive list of bad traits*
> 
> ...


I see- haha
I have too much imagination...LOL


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## eydimork (Mar 19, 2014)

Would I want to date a female version of this non-principled whore-mongering cheat drug-infested venereal-disease-infected anti-social-personality-disorder bag of scum and douche?










No.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

eydimork said:


> Would I want to date a female version of this non-principled whore-mongering cheat drug-infested venereal-disease-infected anti-social-personality-disorder bag of scum and douche?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Look at it this way...
Would you want to date a unique, awesome, attractive, witty and bold, passionate, adventurous, intense, fun female counterpart of this successful SUPERHERO?


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

Why not take an ENTP? They're almost as good as ENTJ's :O


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## eydimork (Mar 19, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> Look at it this way...
> Would you want to date a unique, awesome, attractive, witty and bold, passionate, adventurous, intense, fun female


Don't worry. I wasn't generalizing extraverted intuition types. 

And the answer is still no. 

I'm only attracted to


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

eydimork said:


> Don't worry. I wasn't generalizing extraverted intuition types.
> 
> And the answer is still no.
> 
> I'm only attracted to


A scary bandit with no mouth?


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## eydimork (Mar 19, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> A scary bandit with no mouth?


She has a mouth. 

Just not one you would expect.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

eydimork said:


> She has a mouth.
> 
> Just not one you would expect.


Beautiful


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

I don't like her willingness to sacrifice. Kind of sexist, to make only one female espada, and make her a maternal bitch. -_-


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## Playful Proxy (Feb 6, 2012)

I hope we're liked.... I do have a SO, so trust me, there is hope! Just gotta find someone who likes all the smartassery and love of debate, mixed with a mildly pleasant dosage of assertiveness and extreme emotional reaction/amusement to very simple things (Spinny-flying toys, you know who you are).


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## OkWhat (Feb 28, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> EVERYONE is "incredible" in that sense. It's nothing special. My reasoning has always been, "Don't get your hopes up, always expect the worst so you'll always be pleasantly surprised." So, I think the lowest of myself and of everything- that way I don't have to be disappointed, even when I fail. But- I normally act like I think I'm better than I actually think I do- I act pretty self-confident and arrogant actually. But inside, I'm not arrogant at all- quite the opposite. No, I normally don't let myself get beaten down by disappointment because I don't let myself experience it...although there are a few times where I've gone "screw that!"- and then I got my hopes up and got hurt.


Being humble is great but there are bad forms and it sounds like you have adopted one, self-pity. Your foundation is correct, life can really suck sometimes and other people seem to be the cause of the majority of it. However, if you understand that this is the reality in which you live, you must adjust your expectations in relation to how it effects your emotions, which can effect your behavior. 

If you quantified your happiness and graphed it out then you should set the baseline (Happiness = 0) to "life can really suck sometimes and other people seem to be the cause of the majority of it". That way you are not depressed (Happiness < 0) when you are dealing with normal reality. It should only dip below the baseline when a negative event occurs that is beyond the norm. This way you can still adventure to do new things and take risks knowing that if someone lets you down that, well you won't be happy, but you won't be depressed either, you will just be at the baseline. Good luck!!!


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## Prismira Vex (Dec 26, 2013)

I don't want a humble partner. If you're humble, go away. I want someone with extreme self confidence that also recognizes my ability.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

OkWhat said:


> Being humble is great but there are bad forms and it sounds like you have adopted one, self-pity. Your foundation is correct, life can really suck sometimes and other people seem to be the cause of the majority of it. However, if you understand that this is the reality in which you live, you must adjust your expectations in relation to how it effects your emotions, which can effect your behavior.
> 
> If you quantified your happiness and graphed it out then you should set the baseline (Happiness = 0) to "life can really suck sometimes and other people seem to be the cause of the majority of it". That way you are not depressed (Happiness < 0) when you are dealing with normal reality. It should only dip below the baseline when a negative event occurs that is beyond the norm. This way you can still adventure to do new things and take risks knowing that if someone lets you down that, well you won't be happy, but you won't be depressed either, you will just be at the baseline. Good luck!!!


I don't let my depression get me down because that's stupid. Gotta suck it up- but it seems I'll never be completely happy.


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## OkWhat (Feb 28, 2014)

theredpanda said:


> I don't let my depression get me down because that's stupid. Gotta suck it up- but it seems I'll never be completely happy.


I have been there please, can you read this: Dysthymia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Took me awhile in my teenage to young adult years to even realize I suffered from this. However, knowing about it as helped me re-program myself where I actually am a lot better, however not cured. :-(


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## Kisshoten (Dec 15, 2009)

@theredpanda

Interesting. I've been contemplating the tread title for quite a long time now. Of course, that I am here must tell you how much practical success I've enjoyed in the area. 

I'm still to read through though. Perhaps I'll be able to understand more if I was an outsider looking in. 

Cheer up though. As most people say, everything has a time and a place.


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## Dalton (Jun 10, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> Look at it this way...
> Would you want to date a unique, awesome, attractive, witty and bold, passionate, adventurous, intense, fun female counterpart of this successful SUPERHERO?


Just take me already, Iron Lady! Wait, Margaret Thatcher already took that one. Is Margaret Thatcher Iron Man's counterpart?!?!?



theredpanda said:


> I don't let my depression get me down because that's stupid. Gotta suck it up- but it seems I'll never be completely happy.


I have depression, and I can relate. Although some people may define hope as an expectation, I disagree. Hope is the benign feeling that things are going to turn out well in the end. Hope gives you the strength to strive for success. Despair takes your motivation, and tells you that your efforts will amount to nothing, which is a lie.

Obviously our efforts amount to something, but depression makes us feel that our successes are insignificant, even when they are _enormous_. You can be disappointed by unmet expectations, but hope is a feeling that arches over your entire life. You won't get the opportunity to truly discount hope it until you're already 6 feet under, so have some hope.

Happiness doesn't always come in the form you'll expect, so hope that you'll be able to recognize it when it comes around.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

OkWhat said:


> I have been there please, can you read this: Dysthymia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
> 
> Took me awhile in my teenage to young adult years to even realize I suffered from this. However, knowing about it as helped me re-program myself where I actually am a lot better, however not cured. :-(


Hm maybe. I skimmed over the article but I'd have to research it more. I dunno- I just have a depressing outlook sometimes but other times I can be very happy and optimistic- I just wish that would last


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Dalton said:


> Just take me already, Iron Lady! Wait, Margaret Thatcher already took that one. Is Margaret Thatcher Iron Man's counterpart?!?!?
> 
> 
> I have depression, and I can relate. Although some people may define hope as an expectation, I disagree. Hope is the benign feeling that things are going to turn out well in the end. Hope gives you the strength to strive for success. Despair takes your motivation, and tells you that your efforts will amount to nothing, which is a lie.
> ...


I'd love to be hopeful and optimistic all te time- but I don't want to be disappointed- I can be a very cynical realist a lot


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## Hoff (Apr 29, 2013)

ENTP sounds like the most attractive personality to me.

But what do I know? I've never even been in a relationship before.


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## Dalton (Jun 10, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> I'd love to be hopeful and optimistic all te time- but I don't want to be disappointed- I can be a very cynical realist a lot


Lol let me condense my previous post into two points:
1. Hope =/= expectations.
2. You need expectations to be disappointed.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Dalton said:


> Lol let me condense my previous post into two points:
> 1. Hope =/= expectations.
> 2. You need expectations to be disappointed.


True. But what's the difference?


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## Dalton (Jun 10, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> True. But what's the difference?


Expectations are terminal. Hope is not.
Expectation says "This will happen by a certain time."
Hope says "Although I don't know when it will happen, things will eventually get better."


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Dalton said:


> Expectations are terminal. Hope is not.
> Expectation says "This will happen by a certain time."
> Hope says "Although I don't know when it will happen, things will eventually get better."


Ok- I see  I do believe hope is a wonderful and very necessary thing to have


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## FakeLefty (Aug 19, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> Ok- I see  I do believe hope is a wonderful and very necessary thing to have


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

FakeLefty said:


>


I agree- you just gotta make the best of anything  and I don't take life so seriously anyways- why are people so serious? Live life cuz you're gonna die anyway


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## renna (Jan 28, 2011)

One of my best experiences (not a relationship but pretty darn close) was with an ENTP girl. A total package in my opinion. Just ENTP women are so rare! We def were a ying and yang. Peanut butter and jelly. Black and white. So opposite, but so alike too...meshed so well together. we understood each other perfectly! She helped me loosen up on life, while I affirmed her feelings (which was hard for her). We Had so much fun together! ENTP women are hands down awesome.


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## Dalton (Jun 10, 2013)

theredpanda said:


> why are people so serious?


I'm an ENTJ 1. I have no choice in the matter. :mellow::laughing:


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Dalton said:


> I'm an ENTJ 1. I have no choice in the matter. :mellow::laughing:


Still you guys need to loosen up!


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## Hokahey (Oct 8, 2010)

This might be extreme maybe dial it down a notch from this and boom.


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## Digital_Zen (Apr 26, 2014)

I don't put as much stock in personality types as I used to. I'm fascinated by the concept, but I've had to come to terms with the fact that it's not an absolute factor (unlike what a lot of members on this forum seem to think) in determining what makes an individual. I had a friend who was an INTP. I got along with him fairly well for a while (about a year on and off), but after I had gotten to know him better and spent more time conversing with him he started treating me very disrespectfully to the point that I had to end it. I realized, thankfully, that his personality was much different than that of my brother despite them having the same MBTI. My friend was something of a know-it-all who had to be "right" about everything while my brother has always acted far more reserved and respectful even to family. 

I guess the point I'm trying to make is (to the OP), perhaps getting wrapped up in personality types isn't the healthiest mindset. If you meet someone you like who likes you back, it's going to be because of something only you have - not other people who share a label with you.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Digital_Zen said:


> I don't put as much stock in personality types as I used to. I'm fascinated by the concept, but I've had to come to terms with the fact that it's not an absolute factor (unlike what a lot of members on this forum seem to think) in determining what makes an individual. I had a friend who was an INTP. I got along with him fairly well for a while (about a year on and off), but after I had gotten to know him better and spent more time conversing with him he started treating me very disrespectfully to the point that I had to end it. I realized, thankfully, that his personality was much different than that of my brother despite them having the same MBTI. My friend was something of a know-it-all who had to be "right" about everything while my brother has always acted far more reserved and respectful even to family.
> 
> I guess the point I'm trying to make is (to the OP), perhaps getting wrapped up in personality types isn't the healthiest mindset. If you meet someone you like who likes you back, it's going to be because of something only you have - not other people who share a label with you.


Yes. I know this now. Was in a relationship with an ENFJ...never thought that would happen lol


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## HellCat (Jan 17, 2013)

Digital_Zen said:


> I don't put as much stock in personality types as I used to. I'm fascinated by the concept, but I've had to come to terms with the fact that it's not an absolute factor (unlike what a lot of members on this forum seem to think) in determining what makes an individual. I had a friend who was an INTP. I got along with him fairly well for a while (about a year on and off), but after I had gotten to know him better and spent more time conversing with him he started treating me very disrespectfully to the point that I had to end it. I realized, thankfully, that his personality was much different than that of my brother despite them having the same MBTI. My friend was something of a know-it-all who had to be "right" about everything while my brother has always acted far more reserved and respectful even to family.
> 
> I guess the point I'm trying to make is (to the OP), perhaps getting wrapped up in personality types isn't the healthiest mindset. If you meet someone you like who likes you back, it's going to be because of something only you have - not other people who share a label with you.


It is so refreshing to see this written here. Thank you.


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## Digital_Zen (Apr 26, 2014)

Heh, I was actually anticipating a negative response. Glad I was wrong. Outside perspectives don't always fly too well in some communities (the unspoken rule was usually: Agree with us in different words or be shunned and ignored), but so far this forum has proven to be very different from other forums that I've frequented in the past. I'm happy to refresh in any way I can, LeoCat.


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## HellCat (Jan 17, 2013)

Digital_Zen said:


> Heh, I was actually anticipating a negative response. Glad I was wrong. Outside perspectives don't always fly too well in some communities (the unspoken rule was usually: Agree with us in different words or be shunned and ignored), but so far this forum has proven to be very different from other forums that I've frequented in the past. I'm happy to refresh in any way I can, LeoCat.


I don't even tell people my alphabet order unless they are extremely close to me or they would benefit somehow. I find the weird bragging, playacting to fit in your alphabet scheme, stereotyping and everything weird. 

Actually there is very little public lynching for disagreement. Or I would have been tarred and feathered by now.


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## theredpanda (Jan 18, 2014)

Digital_Zen said:


> Heh, I was actually anticipating a negative response. Glad I was wrong. Outside perspectives don't always fly too well in some communities (the unspoken rule was usually: Agree with us in different words or be shunned and ignored), but so far this forum has proven to be very different from other forums that I've frequented in the past. I'm happy to refresh in any way I can, LeoCat.


Haha not on my threads  I'm interested in other people's perspectives on things


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## sleepingnereid (Oct 31, 2014)

Istj, Infp?


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