# The NEED for intensity (Sx )



## Daeva (Apr 18, 2011)

drmiller100 said:


> Fuck you.
> 
> How's that for intensity?
> 
> If I want your opinion on my typing I'll ask.


You're so bend on proving that you're Sx that you started this thread, yet you can't give it (Sx) to anyone. Is the topic of your sexual seduction and penetration triggering for you?
You aren't intense, you're blunt. Every time someone turns on the heat with you the conversation ends with you diffusing the situation. Fuck me? Yes please. That's exactly what I want from you. Face me, seduce me, lure me, penetrate me. Sex me. Where's your passion?* I want to taste your fluids*. That is Sx. *Can you give it to me?


*I thought this thread was about Sx? Where is it? You mentioning BDSM? _Rules and roleplay and safe words?_ Give me a break. Sex, there are no rules to that game.

Let's talk about sex baby. Let's exchange fluids.* Let's fuck.*


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## kaleidoscope (Jan 19, 2012)

Daeva said:


> @*mimesis*
> 
> Context. I never said that adrenaline is only Sp. But if you read my post in context to the one I replied to, my actual point will become a lot clearer.
> 
> ...





Daeva said:


> You're so bend on proving that you're Sx that you started this thread, yet you can't give it (Sx) to anyone. Is the topic of sex triggering?
> You aren't intense, you're blunt. Every time someone turns on the heat with you the conversation ends with you diffusing the situation. Fuck me? Yes please. That's exactly what I want from you. Face me, seduce me, lure me, penetrate me. Sex me. Where's your passion? I want to taste your fluids. *That *is Sx. Can you give it to me?


I check back the Enneagram forum for the first time in ages.. only to see people providing unsolicited typing, and yet another post glorifying the Sx instinct. 

So disappointing. Bye, enneaforum.


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## Daeva (Apr 18, 2011)

kaleidoscope said:


> I check back the Enneagram forum for the first time in ages.. only to see people providing unsolicited typing, and yet another post glorifying the Sx instinct.
> 
> So disappointing. Bye, enneaforum.


Then correct me. Why waste time typing out the post you just did when you could have spread your wisdom instead? Why not make this a positive learning experience for all who visit?

Glorifying? No. The *Sexual *instinct is about *sex*. Who'd have thought right? All this intensity bullshit is glorifying it. Read the OP, glorification right there, yet I don't see you commenting on that.

Also, I didn't type him or her. I'm here to discuss the Enneagram, what are you doing here? :exterminate:


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## Warp11 (Jul 13, 2016)

drmiller100 said:


> cool thought process.
> I'm Sx. PRobably Sx/Sx. Some of my hobbies have included racing cars, riding avalanches on 200 horsepower snowmobiles, bdsm, lots of sex, starting businesses, etc.
> 
> for me, anger fuels me, probably due to adrenaline. I use it as a tool, and I can use it to focus, and "get in the flow." I once won a shooting competition by becoming annoyed on purpose, then fanning that annoyance with my mouth to help me concentrate.
> ...


I understand this to a point. The adrenaline rush sometimes comes after the actual experience, though. That part I don't quite get.


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## owlet (May 7, 2010)

I just thought I'd check @Daeva but are you being serious?

The sx instinct is about intensity and attraction, not necessarily sex (or how would asexual people be sx-first?)



> Sexual (aka "Attraction") (SX) Instinct
> Many people originally identify themselves as this type because they have learned that the Sexual types are interested in "one-on-one relationships." But all three instinctual types are interested in one-on-one relationships for different reasons, so this does not distinguish them. The key element in Sexual types is an intense drive for intimacy and a constant awareness of the "chemistry" between themselves and others. Sexual types are immediately aware of the attraction, or lack thereof, between themselves and other people. Further, while the basis of this instinct is related to sexuality, it is not necessarily about people engaging in the sexual act. There are many people that we are excited to be around for reasons of personal chemistry that we have no intention of "getting involved with." Nonetheless, we might be aware that we feel stimulated in certain people's company and less so in others. The sexual type is constantly moving toward that sense of intense stimulation and intimacy in their relationships and in their activities. They are the most "energized" of the three instinctual types, and tend to be more aggressive, competitive, charged, and emotionally intense than the Self-Pres or Social types. Sexual types need to have deep intimacy in their primary relationships or else they remain unsatisfied. They enjoy being intensely involved—even merged—with others, and can become disenchanted with partners who are unable to meet their need for intense energetic union. Losing yourself in a "fusion" of being is the ideal here, and Sexual types are always looking for this state with others and with stimulating objects in their world.


Source.

I can find more sources if required, but I'm tired right now.


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## Warp11 (Jul 13, 2016)

Daeva said:


> You're so bend on proving that you're Sx that you started this thread, yet you can't give it (Sx) to anyone. Is the topic of your sexual seduction and penetration triggering for you?
> You aren't intense, you're blunt. Every time someone turns on the heat with you the conversation ends with you diffusing the situation. Fuck me? Yes please. That's exactly what I want from you. Face me, seduce me, lure me, penetrate me. Sex me. Where's your passion?* I want to taste your fluids*. That is Sx. *Can you give it to me?
> 
> 
> ...


Where are you? I'm coming over. 

After reading this post so much fluid is leaking out of me right now. It would be a shame to have it all go to waste, alone.


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## Daeva (Apr 18, 2011)

owlet said:


> I just thought I'd check @*Daeva* but are you being serious?
> 
> The sx instinct is about intensity and attraction, not necessarily sex (or how would asexual people be sx-first?)
> 
> ...


I'm serious alright. Though I admit, I can be equally hilarious, so I understand your confusion.

You say it yourself: intensity *and* attraction. Without the neurosis around attraction and sex, Sx dominance is ruled out. Ask yourself how getting an intense kick from some sport is Sx when the person at hand has no focus on attraction and desirability?

You say the Sx instinct isn't 'necessarily' about sex. Then why call it the Sexual instinct? Why not the "Intensity" instinct?
Is Self Preservation not about preserving the self? Is the Social instinct not about the social domain?
Is the Social's dom awareness of connectivity and groupings not 'necessarily' about social? Lol. Of course it is. Is the Self Pres dom's tendency to pull back and wall off not 'necessarily' about Preserving the Self. Of course it is. Why is Sx the exception then? What about it?

For the Sx dom, *everything *is sex. I quite honestly don't understand how this is such a foreign concept. What can be more primal and life-affirming, than the areas of sex, self-protection, and social?
This is something quite curious that I find a lot of people repeating. "Sx isn't about sex." What's the need that makes people say this, I wonder? Is it their own unease with sex? Why do you think there is such a thing as "attraction" to begin with? Let me answer it for you: sex.
How more "intense" can you get than by infusing your whole being and your footprint on this world with sex? Notice that again, the intensity itself doesn't make it Sx, it's the embrace of (and neurosis around) sex that does it.

The Sexual instinct is just as basic, primal, and ever present as both the Self Preservation and Social instinct. Having one of these as your dominant means that this *will be* your primary and strongest unconscious urge to deal with. There is no going around this. For the Sexual first, this means *sex*. Intensity, attraction, seduction, chemistry,.. All of these, what do you think they are about? What else but sex?


As to how asexual people would be sx first? Are they infusing their passions with sexual energy? Are they attracting/repelling others to such a degree it's troublesome in their lives? Do they have a neurosis around being desirable? No? Then they aren't Sx first. If yes? Then they are.


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## Daeva (Apr 18, 2011)

SkyRacerX said:


> Where are you? I'm coming over.
> 
> After reading this post so much fluid is leaking out of me right now. It would be a shame to have it all go to waste, alone.


Oh don't worry, I'm not alone... :wink:


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## Daeva (Apr 18, 2011)

Remember people, these are *instincts*. Words don't do them justice.

Every time you ask yourself; "Does someone like this actually exist?"
Yes. The answer will always be "yes".

Just as Sp doms worship the temple that is the body, just as So doms worship the law of mankind, Sx doms worship desire.












It just sucks (pun not intended) that society is phobic of sex (even if all media uses it _majorly_ to their advantage. I know they know :wink: )


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## Stellafera (Jan 19, 2015)

Daeva said:


> Every time you ask yourself; *"Does someone like this actually exist?"*
> Yes. The answer will always be "yes".


Damn, I kept asking myself that question while reading your posts in this thread.

I guess this explains my "wtf why would anybody think of this?" knee-jerk reaction to anything Freudian, then... :laughing:


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## Gilly (Apr 22, 2012)

@Stellafera I think it's kind of interesting to see the different way Sx doms react to certain assertions. 

I feel I'd be amused if someone came at me questioning my Sx intensity. 

Don't actually have any issues with how Sx has been described in the above. 

If everyone is honest with each other at least 5 of the major posters have been silently retyped by one person or another or 500. 
Pretty sure even I've had people doing this with me, even not as a main poster. 

Mostly fun times drama. (Observation from the mostly absent)


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## Kintsugi (May 17, 2011)

One thing I would ask is how much trauma have you experienced in your life? Sometimes, we protect against trauma through numbing (dissociation), and this can lead to impulsive and intensity seeking behaviours, in an attempt to help us "feel" again.


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

Stellafera said:


> Damn, I kept asking myself that question while reading your posts in this thread.
> 
> I guess this explains my "wtf why would anybody think of this?" knee-jerk reaction to anything Freudian, then... :laughing:


Check my signature  

The photo section has pics of me during all different periods of my life, which I am organizing and posting on instagram, and which show up on my site. 

The pics where my hair is pink were all taken during a very severe trauma-reaction period. I was even more oversexed and blunt about it than ever, after I lost everything. I'm told that the sex and hunger is still clear in all of them, though.

The blog entries, I only recently began posting, and most of the ones I've posted are late-night diary entries from over the years, though some are more recent, organized posts. I'll be updating.

My music etc is there too.

You don't have to look to carefully to find sex on any given page.


Disclaimer: I'm providing an example, but I'm not here to debate anyone's stack. Just figured I'd post this, since "do people like this really exist" came up. Not all of them are celebs.


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## Daeva (Apr 18, 2011)

Stellafera said:


> Damn, I kept asking myself that question while reading your posts in this thread.
> 
> I guess this explains my "wtf why would anybody think of this?" knee-jerk reaction to anything Freudian, then... :laughing:


Haha, yes Freud had an interesting.. fixation let's say.. around sex.

It's true perhaps that the way I present it might be too extreme for how people tend to be perceived. Most people won't have their inner eye land on attraction/seduction when they're off to buy groceries, and it's not exactly something you would associate with one another. Or _want to_ even 

The dominant instinct is being given too much attention though. And seeing as these are instincts we're talking about, any perceived offence or allure to this domineering instinct will be taken as a life-threatening situation. More often than not, this awareness of the life/death scenario tends to be unconscious, but our reactions speak for themselves. I struggle with social anxiety myself, and I know that much of my anxiety is a complete overreaction to the situation at hand. I am not in danger, obviously. But my emotional reaction says otherwise, and so do my actions. It takes a lot to break this cycle.
I see the instincts working in a similar fashion: it is not a healthy mindset to be neurotic, to sweat and worry and spending excessive amounts on one's attraction and one's sex (in all the ways interpreted) when the issue at hand is that you're out of washing product. "Is the cashier flirting with me? Wait, was that a rejection? How do I look? The person waiting behind me better think I'm hot. Oh they're married? Hah he looked, I've still got it."


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## Figure (Jun 22, 2011)

All, I'm temporarily closing this thread to: 

A.) Allow time for a cool-off (and, if you so desire, sex)
B.) Allow the team to assess some of the posts here re: forum rules


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

Distortions said:


> Dunno about anyone else, but I've totally had fantasies about Foghorn Leghorn. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


I pull all the chicks...... Besides, us domly types tend to put cock pics as our avatar. I think avatars and user names are ways for people to hide, to be something they are not. For my time on this site, I've used the same name I use on almost every other site all over the internet, and for most of my time here I had no avatar at all. 

Anywho, I think Sx is kind of fucked. someone else posted how it is "glamorized".

My life would be a LOT simpler, I'd be a lot richer if I weren't Sx. but the reality is I am what I am. 

People are complicated. Even me. There are lots of things whcih make us up, and all the shit overlaps. Stacking is one of three main categories which sort of guide understanding. 

But I still don't understand WHY it drives me as hard as it does.


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

drmiller100 said:


> I pull all the chicks...... *Besides, us domly types tend to put cock pics as our avatar*. I think avatars and user names are ways for people to hide, to be something they are not. For my time on this site, I've used the same name I use on almost every other site all over the internet, and for most of my time here I had no avatar at all.


I honestly was not aware that this is a thing.

Oh. Wait.


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## FearAndTrembling (Jun 5, 2013)

Daeva said:


> Haha, yes Freud had an interesting.. fixation let's say.. around sex.
> 
> It's true perhaps that the way I present it might be too extreme for how people tend to be perceived. Most people won't have their inner eye land on attraction/seduction when they're off to buy groceries, and it's not exactly something you would associate with one another. Or _want to_ even
> 
> ...



Jung said about Freud that he saw the brain as just an appendage of the genitalia. Both those guys talked a lot about sex. And nasty stuff in general. What Freud was doing was applying Darwinism to psychology. So everything is about reproduction. 

Freud had interesting theories. Like, he thought that humans walking up right and being further away from our genitalia so we couldn't smell it and that changed us some way. He had explanation for why people don't mind their own farts but do others. Guy had an explanation for everything. 

These guys so intellectualize sex. Jung was a fuckin player too. lol. This is the real Jung:










I liked that movie, sex was philosophized about a little at least.

Also, if how you describe Sx is accurate then Kant is the antithesis of Sx. Isaac Newton was like the most brilliant human ever but he considered his lifelong celibacy his greatest achievement in life. That has to be Sx last. lol.


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## karmachameleon (Nov 1, 2015)

> My life would be a LOT simpler, I'd be a lot richer if I weren't Sx. but the reality is I am what I am.


Focus on sp again. lol.


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## mimesis (Apr 10, 2012)

Daeva said:


> @mimesis
> 
> Context. I never said that adrenaline is only Sp. But if you read my post in context to the one I replied to, my actual point will become a lot clearer.


Okay, I'll quote you both then. 

* *







psyche said:


> I relate pretty strongly to what they say about sx 9's merging with their environment... When I was little I broke my arm into an S shape breaking my fall from a high point I was climbing, I nearly drowned from rope swinging into a whirlpool (my dad saved me), he's a pilot and I would make the plane do nosedives with the passenger steering wheel, and I would swing like a monkey from my bedposts until one day one of them broke and I gone thrown across my room... I mean... This was all before the age of 10 lol. Even now I would go crazy if I couldn't be outside most of the time, or at least a lot of the time... I love outdoor solo...sports? can't think of the term, like hiking...or just ones that give you a rush like ice skating. I was agoraphobic for six years when I was a lot younger and it was the worst thing that ever could have happened to me, I took all my need for...thrills or whatever onto my body, I mean my dermatillomania got to the point of developing a cutting addiction for a while. I just need to move around a lot, I need to be outside, I can't help it. I can't understand people who genuinely hate being outside.





Daeva said:


> The combination of Sx with 9 will make for an individual whose obsession with another will make them forget about their own agenda completely, and they will 'merge' with the agenda of *the* other. Utter devotion and dependence, looking to lose the self in their obsession.
> 
> What you refer to, in a thread about Sx nonetheless, sounds incredibly Sp: when you broke you arm (physical injury), climbing (physical sport), nearly drowned (threat to Sp!!!). Then you talk about solo sports, which is the ultimate domain of Sp. Hiking, the rush of ice skating (adrenaline, the *INTENSITY* of Sp). Agoraphobia, guess what? Sp. Fear of overwhelm from crowds.





In context I see a lot of emphasis using words like 'completely', 'utter', 'incredibly', 'ultimate', 'classic form' and using capitals as well as bold text leaving little room for ambiguity, and this is in service of attributing each reference of @*psyche* you listed to Sp over Sx. 

Personally I think you can overdo it with all that emphasis, and it may ultimately miss target. For instance, I can imagine why someone would see a relation between Sp and a preference for solo performance (or agoraphobia), but why 'the ultimate domain of Sp' and not Soc-last? Because you say it's the ultimate domain, or...?


* *







Soc Blind Spot said:


> SO blind spot - finds it hard to concern self with another’s agenda, dismissive. When the social instinct is least developed, the individual is going to find it difficult to see why it is important to form social connections or to cultivate multiple relationships. This, in turn, can lead to a certain amount of social isolation. As we all must find a niche in the larger whole, those whose social instinct is least developed, can find it difficult to negotiate the needs of the social realm which make this possible. (...) They would rather act as a lone force, lone wolves, I'm-on-my-own attitude, feeling that they don't need others and others don't need them.


Compare for instance with Sp/Soc


Sp/Soc said:


> This type is generally private and reserved, and especially serious and practical minded in their focus to gain material security and in making useful connections that support their goals. (...) May be drawn to groups that attract like minded individuals, as in business clubs or volunteer organizations where a shared professional culture can facilitate social bonds. (...) They are particularly strong in matters of commitment and sacrifice, and enjoy being the benefactors in assisting society's practical needs.
> Socionics - the16types.info - Instinctual Stackings





It's also your own choice to only pay attention to reports of physical injury, and life threatening experiences, but to ignore the context (...) of these experiences, which is leaving one's comfort zone, pushing the enveloppe and continue to do so despite trauma and risk of physical harm or putting oneself on the line, seeking to merge with the environment, or if you will, the universe. 

Just like establishing an emotional intimate connection is not without potential risk or trauma either, when we need to leave our comfort zone and put our heart on the line. ...Just a segway to a little musical break anyway. 






If we compare the Soc-last descriptions of instinctual stacking on 16types, I'd say @*psyche* 's post is more in line with SxSp: 


* *







Overview of Instinctual Stackings said:


> sp/sx
> Motivation: to live in a secure, comfortable environment where they can pursue their private interests in depth. (...)
> Blind spot: Likely to neglect their desire to seek intense connections and experiences for the sake of their primary concern of maintaining physical saftey, comfort, and an orderly lifestyle, in average-healthy levels.
> 
> ...








Daeva said:


> Anyway, about your whole point about 'flow' etc: immersion in some sport is not Sx exclusive either. It's only Sx if one's sexual energy gets infused in the activity. If sports isn't sex to you, then it isn't Sx. If dunking that ball isn't a grand metaphor for an orgasm, then it isn't Sx.
> 
> Life is sex. Everything is sex. Every move you make, every word you spit out. Sex. Glance at someone? You might as well be be fingering their arsehole right there.
> If this isn't something you recognize in yourself, then you aren't Sx.
> ...


So why didn't you ask more about @*psyche*'s personal experience before judging Sp-dom? 

I understand your metaphor can give a sense of clarity and certainty in its simplicity and pun intended or not, but the practical problem with that metaphor is that the usual order in life is that most people become familiar with sports (dunking) before experiencing sex (orgasms). In fact, I'd argue there are more references to sports in sex than you'll find references to sex in sports, other than the orgasmic experience you mention, not to mention of course the massive orgies every weekend with thousands of people coming together in stadiums and arenas to discharge in euphoria and extasy. xD
The 19 Greatest Sports-Related Sex Euphemisms | Total Pro Sports


Marco van Basten once described how he experienced scoring a goal, as an oceanic experience. Just like you may describe an orgasm as an 'oceanic experience'. At least I would, just like can personally attest to the oceanic experience of transcendent states of consciousness. Metaphorically speaking that would be the intensity of a thousand orgasms, and a temporary state of self loss and sense of being one with the universe, if that would convince you of the relation with Sx instinct. 

I already said that Sx is in conjunction with Sp or So, so not exclusive. If Sx is pushing the envelope, then Sp or So is the envelope. And in case of Flow, Sx is the (self-) immersive and self-transcending transformative (creative/destructive) aspect, whereas Sp is the grounding aspect necessary to harness Sx energy. More broadly, what we call evolution can be seen as a transformative process of "context-driven actualization of potential", as the universe unfolds. Sexual instinct is 'evolutionary' intelligence or creative intuition, which according to Riso/Hudson is just as important for self-transformation and self-actualization, because in our inner journey and explorations, we sometimes need to leave our comfort zone as well and lay our selves on the line (generally the issue of point 9). 

Edit in spoiler

* *




Sx Immersion without grounding is erratic, or like a loose canon.
Sp Grounding without Sx is Sloth (inaction) in self-complacency and hoarding, like the giant panda, who prefers to eat bamboo all day and doesn't have a high sex-drive, which is part why this species is vulnerable to extinction.










https://www.quora.com/Why-do-pandas-have-so-little-interest-in-sex






Instincts Workshop RH said:


> SX Instinct
> - "intelligence of the evolutionary process" / the drive to evolve / the sx instinct is what "attracts us to go beyond what's comfortable for us"
> - doesn't care about comfort; makes us leave the comfort zone to explore new things
> - on the most refined level, sx is the fuel for choosing to grow/evolve (e.g. inner work)
> - "edge" - exploration, pushing the envelope, risk. can involve aggression (the energy of hunting)





Wu Wei / Flow said:


> ‘Wu Wei’ is (...) the cultivation of a state of being in which our actions are effortlessly efficient and in alignment with the natural flow of our environment and is achieved by first becoming conscious of an inner flow within. It is said when we do, the potential is there for us to become aware of our intimate connection to everything in the outer world and realize we are part of the universes unfolding story and an expression of its infinite creativity. The more still and empty we can become, the more we are aware of our own formlessness and the more we are able to sense this creative expression of universal energy through us, as flow.
> ‘Wu Wei’ The Way Of Emptiness. | Practical Reiki Blog


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