# Help me compare my Fi PoLR to my INFj girlfriends Se PoLR??? Give examples of Se PoLR



## BrennanWayne (Apr 15, 2013)

We're damn near our end, and I want her to understand why what's so easy for her, is so hard for me. Please give me some examples of Se PoLR for an INFj.


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## RoSoDude (Apr 3, 2012)

As an INTj, I have Se as the Vulnerable function, and it for me it just comes as a complete disregard and failure to recognize the value of competition, force of will, social influence, etc, and it generally leads to a lack of physicality on my part. Because I am almost entirely blind to the value of this sort of thing, I often take physical humor the wrong way, as I either find it childish or threatening (depending on my proximity to it), which is probably more of a reflection on me than on the act itself. If I can't accomplish something by appealing to others through reason, and instead I have to rely on "ethos" or strength of personality, I will often just avoid the problem entirely and try to find some other way of dealing with it.


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

Do you know any ESFPs or ESTPs that you can introduce her to? Anyone who is constantly aware and expressive of physicality? Make her spend some time in their company, then ask her how it made her feel.

Try putting her in company of people who make sudden shouts, who could suddenly grab her or hit her on the shoulder as they are speaking, someone who would come up to her as she's settled reading and poke at her, suddenly slam the desk, throw her things off, basically spoil her Si homeostasis. Ask her to do the same to others. Whenever she wants something, ask her to go get it by physical means (moving around objects, positioning people around, etc.). If she's at a rave party for example, could she forcibly shove someone who is intruding into her space?

Ask her to point out the details of appearance of anther person, then judge this person based on their physical traits, ask her to take objects into her hands, analyze their properties based on their appearance and voice them to you. Do this for like half an hour (I'm sure she'll be able to do it a couple of times, but not continuously).

You can always just introduce her to socionics too.


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## BrennanWayne (Apr 15, 2013)

thank you. That helps pain a better picture for me


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## BrennanWayne (Apr 15, 2013)

thank you both. Helps pain a better mental picture for me as well.


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## surra (Oct 1, 2012)

It has to do with bringing activities together. Can't work things out sometimes in real life. Mental castles which don't align with reality. Can't make a reason to understand people who seem to be frivolous with things. For them it's easy. She probably doesn't see these ever in herself because succeeds in life other ways like talenting her all the time with Ne and makes success. She's probably more of an inspiration to people in suffers than a real humanist who does ground-level communication skills better with humans.


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## itsme45 (Jun 8, 2012)

cyamitide said:


> Try putting her in company of people who make sudden shouts, who could suddenly grab her or hit her on the shoulder as they are speaking, someone who would come up to her as she's settled reading and poke at her, suddenly slam the desk, *throw her things off*, basically spoil her Si homeostasis. Ask her to do the same to others.


Why does the bolded need to mean spoiling a Si state? I'd get pretty annoyed too if someone touched my things like that. As for the whole quote, lol sounds like an immature boy being bored  I mean, if all that stuff is supposed to happen continuously. IMO, if OP asks her to do these things, I'm pretty sure it'd feel out of place for her doing all this without having the drive or motive for the specific moves, regardless of her having Se-PoLR or not.




> Whenever she wants something, ask her to go get it by physical means (*moving around objects, positioning people around*, etc.). If she's at a rave party for example, could she forcibly shove someone who is intruding into her space?


Interesting that some people actually don't ever do the bolded or what? What do they do instead? Ask someone else to do it?




> Ask her to point out the details of appearance of anther person, then judge this person based on their physical traits, ask her to take objects into her hands, analyze their properties based on their appearance and voice them to you. Do this for like half an hour (I'm sure she'll be able to do it a couple of times, but not continuously).


I found this interesting too... this Se-PoLR has to be a special animal, what prevents such a person from doing these things continuously for half an hour? Would they just find it boring? (I would, tbh, find it a boring task to talk about some simple everyday object in a lot of detail...) Or, start slipping away on Ne tangents?  Or just run out of words? Or what? 

I'd love to hear about some relevant anecdotes about this... Or stories about Se-PoLR incidents in general, I'm curious 

Btw the part about analysing object properties, I assumed this just meant describing the external/sensory details of the objects. Anything else?


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