# Damsels in distress



## friction (Apr 29, 2011)

This is gonna be a bit hypothetical, but you can answer generally if you wish.

Say there's a woman you find physically very attractive, she has rather volatile emotions and comes across as a damsel in distress. She's not the brightest intellectually. She's sweet and simple. 

Would you be attracted to her and if so, why?


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## Mr.Xl Vii (Jan 19, 2011)

yes because I've always like crazy balls of emotions. Turns out that's just MBTI for NF lol


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## affezwilling (Feb 1, 2011)

Personally intrigued? possibly. Romantically interested? Not likely. I don't care how good looking a woman is, if she can't hold an intelligent conversation and she blows up over nothing I wouldn't be so likely to spend much time with her. Being sweet and simple is good, but I've never been one for damsels in distress.


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## Siggy (May 25, 2009)

The ENTJs had a discussion about this. Its interesting reading


http://personalitycafe.com/entj-forum-executives/51807-some-entjs-attracted-fixer-uppers.html


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## antiant (Jul 4, 2010)

Hell to the no, man or woman. Huge pet peev of mine and a red flag.


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## PAdude (Mar 18, 2011)

No, no, no!!!! I'd run fast. My abusive ex was like this (even though she was convinced she was brilliant just because she got A's in high school) and I'll never date anyone remotely like that again. She was self-righteous, egotistical, unempathetic, mean, and boring.


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## Judas (Aug 11, 2010)

> Say there's a woman *you find physically very attractive*, she has rather volatile emotions and comes across as a damsel in distress. She's not the brightest intellectually. She's sweet and simple.
> 
> *Would you be attracted to her *and if so, why?


If i find her very physically attractive then almost per definition I would be attracted to her. I also am attracted to the second part, but i wouldn't want them as girlfriends, and rather just keep it casual.


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## suicidal_orange (May 6, 2010)

The version of ethical perfectionism I strive for (enneagram 1) demands of me that I help people and naturally I want to learn everything about a person once I deem them interesting and from experience overly emotional people are more willing to open up than "normal" (healthy?) people, making this type a natural draw for me. Once I've heard the depths of their troubles it's hard not to think "I could make this person happier" even while knowing I'm not great at the whole emotional support thing and am incapable (due to inexperience) of expressing my support in a way emotional people understand. I thnk it's just my search for an ego-boost, proving to myself that I can have a positive effect in the world.

The physical attraction would be due to considering emotional expression femine, something I can't deny liking. It's an inherent bonus.


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## friction (Apr 29, 2011)

Pretty interesting responses. I thought it could go one of two ways
1. you like the damsel in distress because you get to experience emotions through her without having to subject yourself to it
or 
2. the overflow of emotion is just kind of off-putting


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## Eerie (Feb 9, 2011)

Mr.Xl Vii said:


> yes because I've always like crazy balls of emotions. Turns out that's just MBTI for NF lol


stereotyping much?


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## Kr3m1in (Jan 16, 2011)

NFs are sexy.

Also, intellectually deficient is not my fruit.
Other than that, anyone I've ever been attracted to is more emotional than me.
As long as it's not permanent pms, I take it and like it.


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## Mr.Xl Vii (Jan 19, 2011)

Eerie said:


> stereotyping much?


I was making a joke, hence the "lol". But seriously they all were NF types. You cant pretend that at 18 you weren't a little emotionally unstable. I was/am emotionally unstable but more in a tendency to be depressed or have anxiety kind of way.


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## Runaway (May 7, 2011)

I might be briefly attracted to her in a physical way, but noooo way could I have a relationship with someone who was unintelligent. I'd just get bored. I'm not a massive fan of weakness either!


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## Imperatrix (Jan 8, 2011)

Well, I am female, but I cannot understand how _anyone_ could be attracted to someone who "plays the victim." My mother is that way (Happy Mother's Day, Crazy Lady) and she's never had a successful relationship. My father divorced her for burning our house down for the insurance money because she wanted to move to a nicer neighborhood (among other smaller reasons)....and she is not an NF, she is an ISFP. Of course, I went and married an ISFP, but he just spends money when he gets emotional.


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## babylon589 (Apr 27, 2011)

this has happened to me, i didn't feel attracted to her, but scientifically intrigued, she told me about all of her problems and i just nodded and agreed while i studied her strange, strange behavior. when she got over it we stopped talking. it went good for the two of us


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## ProfessorLiver (Mar 19, 2011)

As long as she's not TERRETARDED or anything, I'm cool with it. Sounds like my ex.


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## rappf (Feb 14, 2010)

Nope. I'd feel severely irritated at the outset.

I mean—physically attractive is _nice_. But competence and level-headedness is more attractive.

Think about what a woman like that would be like past her physical prime...


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## McConnell (Jan 13, 2010)

Oh Bleh- blathering whiney balls of idiotic feeling- seriously- No No No not even as friends. I see you cry or rage over something unimportant and a piece of me just dies inside for you


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## NeedsNewNameNow (Dec 1, 2009)

No-- I'm attracted to women who are at least fairly competent. The kind that can't do anything for themselves and need a guy to do it are a huge turn-off


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## somewhere else (Dec 9, 2009)

What about those of us who can't achieve, say, a physical task but won't ask for help or give up on the problem? I tend to be the one that drags dressers and mattresses around by myself, despite being pretty damn petite. Some people can't seem to resist helping me, like it's a compulsion...


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## kallisti (Oct 7, 2010)

somewhere else said:


> I tend to be the one that drags dressers and mattresses around by myself, despite being pretty damn petite. Some people can't seem to resist helping me, like it's a compulsion...


I actually appreciate the help when people do this for me, even though we all know I can carry whatever I'm carrying the rest of the way by myself. Chivalry isn't dead!


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## Vaan (Dec 19, 2010)

highlandstorm said:


> This is gonna be a bit hypothetical, but you can answer generally if you wish.
> 
> Say there's a woman you find physically very attractive, she has rather volatile emotions and comes across as a damsel in distress. She's not the brightest intellectually. She's sweet and simple.
> 
> Would you be attracted to her and if so, why?


I would always help people who need help but no i wouldn't fall for that type, they sound kinda self centred and less stable lovingly


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## somewhere else (Dec 9, 2009)

kallisti said:


> I actually appreciate the help when people do this for me, even though we all know I can carry whatever I'm carrying the rest of the way by myself. Chivalry isn't dead!


I do agree! I like to help others like that, as well, but my boyfriend still tends to carry 5 bags of trash out by himself... No helping him


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## CCCXXIX (Mar 11, 2011)

hit it and quit it


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## NeedsNewNameNow (Dec 1, 2009)

somewhere else said:


> What about those of us who can't achieve, say, a physical task but won't ask for help or give up on the problem? I tend to be the one that drags dressers and mattresses around by myself, despite being pretty damn petite. Some people can't seem to resist helping me, like it's a compulsion...


That's fine, at least you try


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## goodgracesbadinfluence (Feb 28, 2011)

I'm not attracted to women, but if we switched the genders there is absolutely no way in hell I'd date someone who was emotional about everything, couldn't think for himself and couldn't hold an intelligent conversation.


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## ficsci (May 4, 2011)

heh... if you meet any "damsels in distress" with histrionic personality disorder, run fast!!! (I've met one, so scary. Well, her boyfriend and exes all seem to take advantage of her, which is sad, but some of the people she's manipulating to get attention of were genuinely nice, too bad for them D
Histrionic personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


Someone above mentioned NFs. Well, I don't think relatively healthy NFs are as in distress as you might think :S


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## Catenaccio (May 2, 2011)

highlandstorm said:


> This is gonna be a bit hypothetical, but you can answer generally if you wish.
> 
> Say there's a woman you find physically very attractive, she has rather volatile emotions and comes across as a damsel in distress. She's not the brightest intellectually. She's sweet and simple.
> 
> Would you be attracted to her and if so, why?


Yes. What's not to like, if she's beautiful and sweet? It's not often you get to have a relationship with a very physically attractive girl _and_ get to keep control of the situation rather than her pulling all kinds of demands on you. At least where I live.

Intelligence is not a one-dimensional thing either, she may have very good people skills.


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