# Personality Types Walk into a Bar



## TranceMan (Aug 26, 2012)

What are each of the 16 types doing at a bar? 

-What do you do at the bar?
-What do you think X type does at the bar?

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1. INTJ: I'm most likely the guy sitting nearest to the end of the bar keeping to myself until someone brings something up I care to talk about. I don't want to debate or have disagreements because I like my beer buzz and I intend to keep it. That, and I don't necessarily like being the center of attention in a bar. I'm most likely thinking about some problem I'm having or a problem that was addressed to me. 

2. ESFP is most definitely singing karaoke.


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## Sporadic Aura (Sep 13, 2009)

I thought this was going to be a thread trying to make 'so and so walks into a bar...' jokes based on personality types. I had one ready too.

'An INTP walks into a bar.'


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

An INTP walks into a bar. And walks swiftly back out and into their car to drive home.

An already intoxicated ExFJ walks into a bar and stands entirely too close to you.

An INTJ walks into a bar...on opposite day.


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## Pogona Vitticeps (Mar 18, 2013)

My type(INTP): I most likely go with a friend, or won't go at all.
An ENTP walks into a bar in his most morally offensive clothing, at least according to the other types. A sensitive ISFJ faints beside her ISFP friend, who thinks about how the ENTP will fit in her new art piece. The ENTP proceeds to ask for one huge glass of beer. The ESTP owner shakes his head and hands the huge glass to the ENTP. The ENTP smiles widely, his Ne is throwing him interesting ideas. He accidentally blurts out one of his ideas, and suddenly no one focuses on how offensive his clothing is when they heard his offensive idea.
The INTJ thought the idea lacked intellectually and challenged the ENTP, while the INTP got dragged out of the bar by his ISTJ friend, aggressively. The ENTP turns around and looks at the INTJ with a determined face, which by the way looks more goofy than determined.
The ENFP tries to convince the INTJ to not debate the ENTP, because of the ENTPs long history of driving people insane with its debates. Her attempts are futile, the INTJ and the ENTP are already at each others throats...


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## Devrim (Jan 26, 2013)

ENFJ(me): I'm most probably sitting in the center,
Leaning a bit to the right,
Talking to a good friend or someone siting next to me I decided to befriend :3

INTP: Probably giving me disproving stares as I talk loudly


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## FlawlessError (Aug 29, 2012)

INTJ - Sleeping inside the coffin out back. ESTP - *Gangnam Style!* ESFP - Life o' the partay. ISTP - 'Bitches love ISTPs'. INTP - talking to the cute girl. He will be in for a surprise when he finds out she is a hemephrodite. ENTP - *im sexy and I know it!* ENFP - *Bitches love ENFPs too*


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## RaidenPrime (Aug 4, 2012)

I went to a bar recently. I saw how bad karaoke really was. I wasn't drunk, because I've put on a lot of muscle, so I'm not much of a light weight anymore. 

Anyways, I saw how bad the karaoke line-up was, so I sang 'Du Hast' by Rammstein in German (read the lyrics from my phone), because the lyrics shown on the karaoke screen were in English. 

Most of the time I sit in the bar while my ENFP friend buys me drinks, trying to get me to open up more. The more drinks I have, the more lost in my own head I become.


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## Jennywocky (Aug 7, 2009)

Sporadic Aura said:


> 'An INTP walks into a bar.'


... because he was too busy justifying Planck's theorem in his head?


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## Chaerephon (Apr 28, 2013)

The ENTJ is being pushy and telling others what to do.


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## DAPHNE XO (Jan 16, 2012)

The ENFJ is romancing everyone in sight, bumping and grindin' to the tunes.
The INTP is completely enamoured by the ENFJ so decides to ignore them instead of talking to them, because logic > feels.
The INTJ gets drunk and starts talking but nobody cares.
The INFJ is silently judging everyone under their breath with a UMAD? type look on their face.
The ESTJ is reving up their army tank ready to crash the party.
The ISTP is strategically working out how to sweep the entire floor in one go whilst getting every girl's number.
The ESFJ is having a nervous breakdown by the karaoke machine.
The ESFP is dancing on the bar, while taking her clothes off like the scene in Ugly Coyote.
The ENTP is drunk and chatting up the toilet attendant who's actually a transgendered person.

Everyone else stayed at home because they weren't invited.


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## Emerson (Mar 13, 2011)

An INTJ walks into a bar, and sits with his INTJ friend, they trade stories on what they've seen and overheard that day, then bitch about all the other stupid stuff they remember, then after trading a few pun runs and quips. They get down to talking 'shop' (whatever subject they share an interest in- in this case philosophy-) they then debate on the finer points of the analytic/synthetic distinction until their mutual ENTP friend walks in and makes them both feel stupid.

That's how my day goes... EVERY DAMN DAY.


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## Monsieur Melancholy (Nov 16, 2012)

A dyslexic walks into a bra.

:dry:


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## Brian1 (May 7, 2011)

An ESTJ, an ESTP and an INFP walk into a bar together, they sit down together, open menus, the waiter comes over after 15 minutes, a respectable time for them to have decided. The Waiter, doing their job, asks what everyone is having, the ESTJ, known for providing structure and order to a situation, states that they will have a Killian's Irish Red, then goes to the other two, the ESTP, known for indecision and conflict immediately pisses off the ESTJ, saying,"can I have a few more minutes, so many things look good, I need some time?" The ESTJ, angry, because we got to keep the show moving, gets into a heated argument with the ESTP. The INFP feels torn because they are suffering, because of the arguing over a drink, a petty thing,but it would be against their will also, to speak up, because of possible feelings hurt to both the ESTJ and ESTP. At the same time, the INFP sympathizes with the ESTP, because, only in their right mood will they order the drink, they will not be pushed, especially by that tyrannical ESTJ. Finally, the INFP says, "you know I thought you had this Long Inland Iced Tea, but it's not here, I'll need a few more seconds." This is where the ESTJ loses it, because they can see the order and precision of a simple task, slipping away from them. So a new argument involving the other two starts, whereupon they don't notice the waiter, has left and gone on to another table that is ready, because they need to do their job and pay their bills, and the party of three wasn't helping in that matter.


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## Saki (Jun 10, 2013)

I have never been to a bar... So I will base this off of the few parties I have been dragged to that involve alcohol.

The ENTP is already tipsy, and is trying to flirt and failing

The ENFJ is less tipsy, trying to flirt, and not failing as badly because s/he is still sober enough to remember the line

The ENTJ is so loud you cannot hear the music over this person

The ENFP is in a heated debate on world affairs... with the karaoke machine.

The ESTP is trying to figure out how the group is going to be splitting the tab at the end of the night

The ESFJ is giggly and staggaring

The ESTJ is emo in the corner and _nobody knows why_
The ESFP is acting out the song "Tequila makes her clothes fall off"

The INTP is trying to figure out what to say to make the ESFP keep their clothes on without it sounding akward

The INFJ is glaring at all the drunks and silently wishing for a video camera to tape the stupidity for later blackmail

The INTJ is giggling with the ESFJ and jaws are dropping because of this

The INFP is gossiping and finds everything hilarious

The ISTP is so drunk s/he is trying to organize the peanuts

The ISFJ is hyperventalating becaus s/he is drunk enough to have just sang karaoke but sober enough to just realize what s/he's done

The ISTJ is instructing the bar tender on this "great new drink idea"... Beer... IN A GLASS!!!

The ISFP is trying to figure out that grinding thing but eventually gets embarrassed and goes to a corner to sulk.


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## Bardo (Dec 4, 2012)

JungleDisco said:


> The INFJ is silently judging everyone under their breath with a UMAD? type look on their face.


So true.


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## ToplessOrange (Jun 3, 2013)

An XNTP walks into a bar full of other MBTI enthusiasts talking about the MBTI. A Judger is there and criticizes Perceivers for being so noncommittal and for never finishing anything they start. An ISFP gets really offended a one sided, heated debate ensues. The XNTP decides to lighten the mood with a meta joke. "So guys, an XNTP walks into a bar full of other MBTI enthusiasts talking about the MBTI!

A Judger is there and criticizes Perceivers for


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## MBTIPC (Jan 31, 2013)

Wrote a real nice reply and the text's gone, great. Well, in short - depends on my goals in the bar, as I don't do the whole "go to a bad, get drunk, relax, think what happened in the morning" thing.


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

ESTP - What do I do when I walk into the bar? I look for a pool table or dart board and find someone to play with. I might bet money on a game. 

I'm going to guess the ESFP would stay up at the bar to find someone to really connect with.


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## kellyj (Jul 4, 2013)

Intp and estp are crop dusting


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## Draco Solaris (Apr 8, 2013)

The INTP would be sitting in the corner drinking with the ISTP, watching everybody else. After enough drinks he would begin to prattle on about Grand Unified Theory, and after a few more he would alternate between flirting with the INFJ (by talking about Grand Unified Theory) and trying to figure out how beer nuts work.


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## Roland Khan (May 10, 2009)

ISTP - Wait a minute, I don't belong here. Ugh, just give me a few shots to get a buzz/drunk so I can leave this cesspool of other human beings of the types I tend to very much dislike.


With that said, this thread very much disappoints me, where are all the "XXXX walks into a bar..." jokes that this thread title very much implied? I'd give some, but I'm not very good at coming up with jokes...I merely came in here to read some.


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## ToplessOrange (Jun 3, 2013)

Roland787 said:


> ISTP - Wait a minute, I don't belong here. Ugh, just give me a few shots to get a buzz/drunk so I can leave this cesspool of other human beings of the types I tend to very much dislike.
> 
> 
> With that said, this thread very much disappoints me, where are all the "XXXX walks into a bar..." jokes that this thread title very much implied? I'd give some, but I'm not very good at coming up with jokes...I merely came in here to read some.


5 of the 10 Top Posts are those. That's half. I think that's a fair amount.


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## Persian (Jul 16, 2012)

The INTx walks into a bar. He then rubs his head, goes home an grabs an ice pack. For the rest of the day, he holds the ice pack on his red swollen forehead skin.


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## Sun Lips (Jan 28, 2013)

An INFJ walks into a bar. Everything about it is disappointing. They get drunk at home instead and spend the night writing a manifesto about societal implications.

(Or is that just me?)


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## Roland Khan (May 10, 2009)

Sun Lips said:


> An INFJ walks into a bar. Everything about it is disappointing. They get drunk at home instead and spend the night writing a manifesto about societal implications.
> 
> (Or is that just me?)


If only I was more a writer myself, I'd probably fit that. Instead, I'd actually just stay at the bar long enough to down a few beers/shots to get a buzz then leave, without saying a single word to anybody else other than the bartender; then stopping at a store to pick up some more to keep up/increase my buzz at home while I do something I actually enjoy such as watching a good movie or playing a fun game....or there's always furious masturbation.


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## Fern (Sep 2, 2012)

My _SFJ girl friends are the ones taking care of the people who are totally wasted, ensuring no one will take advantage of them, that everyone has a ride, that they don't throw up on anyone etc. I've learned to adopt this behavior, as well - but at parties.

Drunk ESFP's get very "dance-y". And ENFP's get really complimentary and sweet. But in an odd way: "You smell like an angel and you look like an angel and I hope that doesn't offend you or hurt your feelings!!!!"


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## Imverypunny (Jul 2, 2013)

A dart game is on and an estp is just being embraced by the crowd with his bulls eyes. Then the cocky estp picks out a quietly sitting bystander who happens to be an istp to challenge him. He remains in his place and effortlessly nails the bulls eye with a beer glass in the other hand. A drunk ESFP then advances on him sexually, the istp then begins to feel vulnerable and PE's in his pants unwittingly.


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