# When picking a mate do they have to be able to intellectually stimulate you?



## downsowf (Sep 12, 2011)

1. Does intellect attract you? 
2. Do you care if your mate is smart? Have you ever dated down?
3. Have you ever dated someone who was your equal as far as intelligence (I know this sounds pretentious)? 
4. How attractive can intellect be?

Relate stories, explanations, and opinions to these questions.


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## Ace Face (Nov 13, 2011)

1. Does intellect attract you? 

FUCK YES. 


2. Do you care if your mate is smart? 

There are different types of smart; this is a hard one to answer. 



3. Have you ever dated down?

Yes... omg... boring as hell D: I felt awful for feeling that way, but still.
(I guess this helps answer the above question?)



4. Have you ever dated someone who was your equal as far as intelligence? 

Yes. I'm dating him now. Finally... lol.



5. How attractive can intellect be?

I need somebody who can keep up with my mind... seriously. It is the most attractive thing ever... EVER EVER EVER.


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## Belrose (Dec 23, 2011)

*1. Does intellect attract you?*

Undoubtedly.


*2. Do you care if your mate is smart? Have you ever dated down?*

I do, for a variety of reasons. 

I dated somebody who didn't care for a lot of the intellectual things and it's boring.


*3. Have you ever dated someone who was your equal as far as intelligence (I know this sounds pretentious)?*

I have, but it ended for reasons unrelated to that.


*4. How attractive can intellect be?*

It can make or break the deal with me, so verily.


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## knittigan (Sep 2, 2011)

1. Does intellect attract you? 

Yeah, baby! Yeah! Top of the list, actually.

2. Do you care if your mate is smart? Have you ever dated down?

Yes. If you aren't stimulating my mind, I'm not interested in you on a sexual or romantic level. It doesn't matter how hot/nice/whatever you are, it isn't happening for me if you can't challenge me on a mental level.

The only time I've ever dated down was the first guy I ever dated back in junior high and that was more a result of feeling too awkward to say no more than any real attraction. I probably appeared more intelligent outwardly than my ISTP ex because I'm very stereotypically intellectual, but he was actually intimidatingly smart in a lot of ways that I'm pretty hopeless in.

3. Have you ever dated someone who was your equal as far as intelligence (I know this sounds pretentious)? 

I think my current boyfriend and I are pretty well-matched, although it's difficult to say because we have very different fields of study and different levels of education, even if we are quite similar (he's an INFJ).

We have taken one class in common between us and he got a better mark than I did by a full letter grade. I don't feel threatened by it at all. I think it's sexy.

He's definitely more emotionally intelligent than I am, though, that's for sure :tongue:

4. How attractive can intellect be?

So, so attractive. I've become attracted to many people who were initially uninteresting to me because I've been on the receiving end of their sexy, intelligent brain.


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## MegaTuxRacer (Sep 7, 2011)

*1. Does intellect attract you? *
Yes, of course you silly goose!

*2. Do you care if your mate is smart? Have you ever dated down?*
Yes, and yes.

*3. Have you ever dated someone who was your equal as far as intelligence (I know this sounds pretentious)?* 
No, that is very difficult to find, and I have yet to find that.

*4. How attractive can intellect be?*
It turns me on. A sexy brain trumps a sexy body any day.


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## Chipps (Jun 1, 2011)

downsowf said:


> 1. Does intellect attract you?
> 2. Do you care if your mate is smart? Have you ever dated down?
> 3. Have you ever dated someone who was your equal as far as intelligence (I know this sounds pretentious)?
> 4. How attractive can intellect be?
> ...


1. Yes, but not so much intellect. Im attracted to people who think abstractly and are informed about a bunch of different things. Also people who are interested in constantly expanding their knowledge. Once I find a topic I know little about and it interests me I have to know everything about it and become highly informed. Id like that too in a mate. Though Id prefer we liked different things. I like soft sciences like psychology, sociology, gender issues etc etc. So Id love to date someone who was into the harder sciences and technology. 

2. Absolutely though I'd hate a know it all. I would like to marry someone who is as smart as I am. Or just a bit smarter. Too smart and I wouldn't have much in common with them and it would become a turn off. My current bf is an ISFP so is that considered down? Part of me thinks so, but he is the only person in the world that loves me so I could care less about not being able to have abstract conversations with him. He tries though.

3. Nope. I have a hard time talking in depth with people about the things I care about. I dont know what it is. I feel like there is no one I can really share with. For a while I was obssessed with the holocaust and watched every movie and documentary I could find and read a bunch of stuff on it. I wish there was someone I could have discussed it with. 

4. Intellect is the most attractive attribute. Ill hopefully marry someone pretty intellectual. I for some reason have it in my head that I will marry a guy in the STEM field. Something about a man that knows his sciences thats sexy. Id prefer an INTP, INTJ, but now that I think about it, an INFJ would probably be best for me. Preferably with an 50/50 F-T split. I have a hard time attaching to people so an NF would be ideal because they would love me even when I was cold with them.


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## Zerosum (Jul 17, 2011)

*Does intellect attract you? *
Nah, I prefer my victims.. I mean mates! To be dumb and gullible.

*Do you care if your mate is smart? Have you ever dated down?*
Nope.. Dumb and gullible *insert evil laugh, lip licking and mustache stroking*

*Have you ever dated someone who was your equal as far as intelligence (I know this sounds pretentious)? *

Yep! I met my ex at the zoo, we used to spend nights watching tv.. howling and throwing poo at each other. Very intellectual! 

*4. How attractive can intellect be?*
This much 
<-------------------->


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## Polo (Oct 2, 2011)

1. Does intellect attract you? 
Not always. Having intellect or intelligence is slightly different than being intellectually stimulating. You can sit with someone who can tell you all about various subjects, maybe even ones you are also interested in - but if you don't _connect_ somehow, you're just discussing facts and information with each other.
Now, if we can assume that I can banter about 'smart' things with someone, and we have a connection, I will walk away wondering what I can use as an excuse to talk to them again.

2. Do you care if your mate is smart? Have you ever dated down?
I want a mate to be interested in learning. I've considered 'dating down', but that situation never panned out for reasons unrelated to their, ah... lack of smart. I think it was for the best.

3. Have you ever dated someone who was your equal as far as intelligence? 
Yes, and I've dated people 'above' me as well. I think as long as I don't feel like I'm always explaining myself, and always having to slow down my thoughts for the other person, I'll be okay.

4. How attractive can intellect be?
It really just depends on how they use it. The important thing for me is that, for example, if I'm the 'smarter' one, then I want them to be able to keep up with me on most occasions. It would be annoying for us both if I keep having to explain things that, to me, are basic or obvious. If the other person was smarter, the same rule would apply.


I'm lumping in intellect, intelligence, and smart all together - as a sort of base amount of knowledge. You seem to have used the words interchangably, so I wasn't sure how to define them in order to answer the questions precisely.


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## koalaroo (Nov 25, 2011)

*1. Does intellect attract you? *
Yes, it does.

*2. Do you care if your mate is smart? Have you ever dated down?*
I have to be with a partner that I can respect. This respect is generally based around humor, intellect and wisdom -- or some combination therein. I have "dated down" and basically been dumped because the guy felt inferior to me. Towards the end of that relationship, the verbal abuse was basically down to him in fits of rage about me "talking down to him" (apparently correcting people is talking down to them, even if you do it politely) and being "an intellectual snob."

*3. Have you ever dated someone who was your equal as far as intelligence (I know this sounds pretentious)?*
My current boyfriend is much, much more intelligent than I am -- except when it comes to understanding emotions.

*4. How attractive can intellect be?*
Pretty God damned attractive, really.


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## Brainteaser (Jan 20, 2010)

mkeath said:


> It turns me on. A sexy brain trumps a sexy body any day.


Really?! Just how sexy of a brain are we talking here?

*1. Does intellect attract you? *

Yessir! Its better than a planetary alignment.

*2. Do you care if your mate is smart? Have you ever dated down?*

I don't feel comfortable answering either of these questions.

*3. Have you ever dated someone who was your equal as far as intelligence (I know this sounds pretentious)?* 

Yes, loved it and miss it.

*4. How attractive can intellect be?*

Without an obvious display of it I do not notice someone. It makes me sound like an asshole but I whatever, I prioritize by interests.


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## MegaTuxRacer (Sep 7, 2011)

Brainteaser said:


> Really?! Just how sexy of a brain are we talking here?


If forced to choose between a sexy body and a sexy brain, I pick the brain every time. I would get bored of the body. Eventually bodies stop improving, and they degrade. Same thing happens to the brain, but it happens way later, and by that time my brain will have degraded to not notice as well.


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## Brainteaser (Jan 20, 2010)

Zerosum said:


> *Have you ever dated someone who was your equal as far as intelligence (I know this sounds pretentious)? *
> 
> Yep! I met my ex at the zoo, we used to spend nights watching tv.. howling and throwing poo at each other. Very intellectual!


I'm so jealous, all I ever got were hairballs.



Zerosum said:


> *4. How attractive can intellect be?*
> This much
> <-------------------->


No more like this much >-----------< Yours implies that it goes on forever. Dammit can't you tell a joke right?!


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## Zerosum (Jul 17, 2011)

Brainteaser said:


> I'm so jealous, all I ever got were hairballs.
> 
> 
> 
> No more like this much >-----------< Yours implies that it goes on forever. Dammit can't you tell a joke right?!


lol! Always a smart arse who has to spoil the party with boring old details! You understood the joke, so thats good enough for me


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## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

downsowf said:


> 1. Does intellect attract you?
> 2. Do you care if your mate is smart? Have you ever dated down?
> 3. Have you ever dated someone who was your equal as far as intelligence (I know this sounds pretentious)?
> 4. How attractive can intellect be?
> ...


1. Hugely, but it must be combined with a stimulating personality that I can interact with.

2. My mate needs to be smart, definitely. That's an absolute. Yes, I've dated down. There's just too many awkward silences. 

3. Honestly, no. My intelligence level is very high, probably testing at genius level (with emphasis upon language, symbolism, history, cross-contextual thinking and analysis, and related creativity - certainly NOT mathematics, science or performing arts). Still, I've dated some very smart (usually) N types who were intelligent and intellectually curious enough to appreciate my intellect and engage me in stimulating conversation over the wide variety of subjects that interest me over time. 

4. See above. Intellect is hugely attractive and is a necessary component, but can't be the only component.


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## Boxter9 (Dec 30, 2011)

*1. Does intellect attract you?*
Yeah. It's totally not the only thing, but yeah.

*2. Do you care if your mate is smart? Have you ever dated down?*
I've dated down once; my needs weren't met. She got frustrated with me for "over-analyzing everything" and I got frustrated with her for refusing to analyze at any substantive breadth or depth.

*3. Have you ever dated someone who was your equal as far as intelligence (I know this sounds pretentious)?*
I've dated people who were better at logic and math than me, but never anyone who was my equal musically; if I met someone who was, and who was also in the appropriate age range, I'd be kind of freaked out. That being said, yes, I've dated people who were, holistically speaking, my intellectual "equal."

*4. How attractive can intellect be?*
Intellect is one factor among many. Just because two people are just as smart as one another does not mean they'll end up head-over-heels infatuated. It's one of those home plate things; once you get there you can go to bat, at which point you'll either hit something or strike out, but in any case it's a far cry from all-out scoring.


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## wiarumas (Aug 27, 2010)

1. Does intellect attract you? 

Slightly. Its more of a requirement than an attraction.

2. Do you care if your mate is smart? Have you ever dated down?

Yes. Yes, and its fine for a temporary fling, but would not be okay for a long term relationship.

3. Have you ever dated someone who was your equal as far as intelligence (I know this sounds pretentious)? 

Yes, once - but its a different type of intelligence. My ISTJ wife is book smart and memorized drugs, symptoms, side effects, and thousands of medical terms in a way I never could. Yet, she fails at most thinking that exists outside of written text. We are about equal in intelligence but different ways.

4. How attractive can intellect be?

Its not that its attractive - its that lack of intellect is unattractive.


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## DeductiveReasoner (Feb 25, 2011)

1. Does intellect attract you? 

YES!

2. Do you care if your mate is smart? Have you ever dated down?

there's different sorts of smarts, and judging intelligence can be hard blah blah blah Yes, I have dated down, and I was bored as hell. We never talked about anything all that interesting. Come to think of it, I can't remember why we dated in the first place.

3. Have you ever dated someone who was your equal as far as intelligence (I know this sounds pretentious)?

No, I'm in highschool where intelligence and rational thinking are hard to find. On top of that, I refuse to date anyone until I move. Don't want any teary good-byes or long-distance relationships.

4. How attractive can intellect be?

very. I like speaking with people who make me think. I like making other people think. I've also found that intelligent people are less likely to judge my weird mannerisms and rapid conversation changes.


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## MyName (Oct 23, 2009)

1. Does intellect attract you?
"Attract" might not be the right word, although I've come to think that I can't respect someone as much as I should in a romantic relationship unless she is at least almost as intelligent. 

2. Do you care if your mate is smart? Have you ever dated down?
My first girlfriend was probably not as smart as me. I think that was kind of why it didn't work out romantically, although she is still very dear to me.

3. Have you ever dated someone who was your equal as far as intelligence (I know this sounds pretentious)? 
My second and most recent girlfriend was probably in the same range as me, although I was more "intellectual"

4. How attractive can intellect be?
I don't know that I neccesarily find it "attractive" but it makes me respect people and I can't stand someone who isn't thoughtfull and just goes through life on "auto-pilot." So I think it's neccesary for me if I'm going to have a relationship with someone. I think that some people's definition of "intelligence" is really just a shallow status charecteristic


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## n2freedom (Jun 2, 2011)

*1. Does intellect attract you? *
Absolutely.

*2. Do you care if your mate is smart? Have you ever dated down?*
Yes, I care very much. I don't really care for the phrasing of the second half of the question. However, I will say that I typically don't date anyone that I cannot engage in stimulating conversation with because I find them boring.

*3. Have you ever dated someone who was your equal as far as intelligence (I know this sounds pretentious)?* 
Again, I don't really care for the way this is phrased. However, I have dated someone that I felt I was compatible with intellectually, in other words who tended to think/process information along the same wavelengths.

*4. How attractive can intellect be?*
It can be a deal breaker if I don't have any intellectual attraction for a person.


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## sarek (May 20, 2010)

Intellect alone is a concept that is too limited. What I am looking for is whether my partner is willing to use what she has got. Is she curious, investigative, interested? Is she willing to question what others see as self evident? Does she think out of the box? Does she pick up on concepts and ideas quickly, even if she has had no previous knowledge of them?

I find my gf to be all those things which gives her a truly beautiful mind.


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## AgnosticGirl (Apr 20, 2012)

1. It helps...but it isn't everything

2. Yes. I don't want a dummy. Second part; none of your business.

3. Close. 

4. Very attractive.


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## Ramysa (Mar 22, 2012)

*1. Does intellect attract you?*

Very much .

*2. Do you care if your mate is smart? Have you ever dated down?*

Of course. He can be very good looking , if he's not smart, i lose interest. Tried to date down ( they were very good looking) but gave up quite quick. 


*3. Have you ever dated someone who was your equal as far as intelligence (I know this sounds pretentious)?*

I don't think so. 


*4. How attractive can intellect be?

*Up to a certain extent. I wouldn't date someone that i don't feel attracted too at all just bcz he's smart.


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## Tanuchiro (Mar 1, 2012)

1. Does intellect attract you? 
Yes.

2. Do you care if your mate is smart? Have you ever dated down?
As long as she has common sense and doesn't always do stupid stuff. 
I have little dating experience.

3. Have you ever dated someone who was your equal as far as intelligence (I know this sounds pretentious)?
Skip.

4. How attractive can intellect be?
Very, just as long as it doesn't come with arrogance.


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## ScotterTheOtter (Oct 26, 2011)

1. Does intellect attract you? 
Heck yes it does.

2. Do you care if your mate is smart? Have you ever dated down?
I'm not gonna date an idiot...again.

3. Have you ever dated someone who was your equal as far as intelligence (I know this sounds pretentious)?
We didn't really date so much as have a one night thing...that consisted more of talking about Greek Mythology than anything else. Which sounds lame so I'm just not gonna talk anymore.

4. How attractive can intellect be?
I'm not gonna date a girl just 'cause she's smart, but I'm not gonna date someone who's not intelligent. So it's one of the more important qualities but not the only thing that matters.


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