# My Guide to INFPs



## Michael82

With all do respect I think you cannot call these myths. Perhaps they are only true for 20% of INFP's for example. I'll give you that, because you're having some good point.

My experiences:
I am not desperate for a love that lasts a week, but i am desperate for a love that lasts a long time and hopefully a lifetime. I want it to be part of my life. Perhaps because I made it my idealism.

I used to be emotional and really easy to fall in love. now i know better what i am looking for and i do get more picky. but i think that's every personality's experience.

"Myth: This INFPs always listens intently to me and my problems. They hug me, smile at me, and give me their undivided attention. He/she must really care about me, and probably wants to date me." --> I don't look people into the eyes because I fear the passion taking over in any way, but, I haven't had the talking/listening problem where girls and maybe even guys think I am into them. Or perhaps I have and never knew it.

All in all I think we have some idealism in common about love, which is passion and romance. This shapes an image of us that may become a somewhat mythical image. Sometimes the image matches the truth


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## dalsgaard

...... So _THAT's_ why she cut me off.

Wonderful explanation.


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## Jazer Strozier

girl you said the way a real INFP would have said it love this


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## Sequestrum

I agree with most of the theory behind what you say, but our motivations are different I think.

This is the reason that people base their description on both their MBTI and Enneagram I believe. 

When I help people it is not because I want to feel special about myself, although I will admit, it does make me feel good; I do it because I think the person deserves to be helped by someone, and if I don't do it, I do not know for certain if another person will. Some help comes with strings attached, mine does not. Some like to brag about how they helped a person, I never will. Some need to be thanked for their assistance, I would rather be forgotten.

Also, I typically inherently trust the feelings of others. I know that sometimes they are misguided, but I would rather assume a person is genuine and have them prove me wrong than assume someones feelings are invalid and have them prove me wrong by being genuine.

Again, I believe that these differences are because of motivations and principles. So while I believe that this guide is right for you, it's not completely right for all INFP's, you know?

Thank you very much for your efforts, I have learned some new things and gained some insights from what you've written!


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## adagio

Thanks for this! Absolutely spot on for me! But having been disappointed so often in love, I've stopped actively looking for it and just going along my way and if it happens it will happen but it will have to come looking for me. Fortunately, I'm happily self-contained and enjoying my freedom to come and go as I please. I don't like the inevitable part of relationships where I'm always being encouraged/ told to change my INFP ways.


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## Mimi8

It always surprises me when i read blogs and posts on here that are nearly identical to what i've journaled myself. Its a good feeling though. a less lonely feeling.


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## xxxlovefactorxxx

This is good. I feel as INFPs we dont get alot of credit sometimes. The truth is finally being told!


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## FatSpacePenguins

INFP's are little tiny dependent puppies that follow you around and wimper.


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## xxxlovefactorxxx

Stick yourself and die puppies are cutexD


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## xxxlovefactorxxx

Sequestrum;bt23227 said:


> I agree with most of the theory behind what you say, but our motivations are different I think.
> 
> This is the reason that people base their description on both their MBTI and Enneagram I believe.
> 
> When I help people it is not because I want to feel special about myself, although I will admit, it does make me feel good; I do it because I think the person deserves to be helped by someone, and if I don't do it, I do not know for certain if another person will. Some help comes with strings attached, mine does not. Some like to brag about how they helped a person, I never will. Some need to be thanked for their assistance, I would rather be forgotten.
> 
> Also, I typically inherently trust the feelings of others. I know that sometimes they are misguided, but I would rather assume a person is genuine and have them prove me wrong than assume someones feelings are invalid and have them prove me wrong by being genuine.
> 
> Again, I believe that these differences are because of motivations and principles. So while I believe that this guide is right for you, it's not completely right for all INFP's, you know?
> 
> Thank you very much for your efforts, I have learned some new things and gained some insights from what you've written!


You're a great writerxD


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## miafarrow

Thank you so much. I think what you've said is pretty accurate for many of us.

We are so picky! Much too picky, as my friends would say. But if I don't feel a deep connection with someone after a good period of time, I don't see any reason to invest in a relationship. I've dated many guys that were perfectly nice and into me, but if I don't feel that connection, I skip out and recover very fast. If I'm feeling that connection with someone, though, even if we've never dated, the recovery period can last a very very long time.

I imagine many of us get infatuated with someone every so often, but I agree that we know not to trust feelings that come on too fast. Even if the word love pops into my head, I know it's an illusion and don't give it any sway. I think what you said about strong and fast romantic feelings from others is true. If a man seems excessively into me before I really know him, I am very very wary, even if I am romantically curious about him. 

Michael82, I really like what you had to say about love. I many of us are all looking for a steady love, maybe not for forever, but one we can hold for a long time.


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## blissfulpeach

I am an infj with a type 2 enneagram and totally related to what you wrote. My kindness is mistaken for interest. The funny thing is that I do not flirt. It is all so frustrating!


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## SomethingDifferent

Nothing else I could say. Summarized me up totally as another INFP.

Thanks for writing


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## Justamez69

I can become quite clingy.


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## PerplexedJoe

Nailed the head of the head,.. In the iron? - no, wood. Oh you know what I mean!


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## Elias

This is great!


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## iconoclasmos

Great post. This hits home.


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## narawithherthought

I am agree with your guide about infp, but not this: Myth: "This INFPs always listens intently to me and my problems. They hug me, smile at me, and give me their undivided attention. He/she must really care about me, and probably wants to date me." For me, I do this because I really like him him. I do this too to some guys but maybe not listen intently and care that much like what I do to the guy that I like.


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## silentmusician

Really great guide. It was very helpful. Thank you.


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## Elaborate Carrot Shrimp

Miraji said:


> the myth no 2 i face a lot in my life, guys usually think i love them or i want to date them because i am caring, listen to their problems, and do my best to help them
> but hello that doesnt meant i love you i just like you as a friend or care about you!!


By the salt in lobster shells YES. YES YES YESYEYSS.


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## theonetruemonkey

INFPs are very mysterious.


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