# Enneagram types descriptions to insult somebody



## CataclysmSolace (Mar 13, 2012)

The type 5 description would bother me. However, I would most likely follow up with a, "What is your reasoning behind that?" Which could be a reasonable repute in my eyes to try to harm them back.


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## RepairmanMan Man (Jan 21, 2012)

Marlowe said:


> I know these would set me off as an eight:
> 
> - You serve no purpose and have no meaning
> - You're an idiot that lives by your emotions
> ...


As a non-8/non-8-fixer these things set me off, too, and people have told me almost all of them in the past!


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## Persephone (Nov 14, 2009)

*Type 5 The Underground Man (and Woman. This is the 21st century here, people)*

Starting from an early age, Fives develop an insurmountable ambivalence to the world, mainly due to the fact that they are ambivalent to their own parents who constituted their entire existence. As with other children, young Fives (and some might argue, more than others) need intensive, one-on-one attention from their parents, who mostly fail to warm up to them, and henceforth a vicious cycle begins. The Five, even as a toddler, fear showing their emotions on the off chance that they might be rejected. The inconvenient truth is that they knew how worthless they were before they could point to their reflection and have that insignificant little epiphany about the ogre staring back at them. If they weren't worthless already, thinking that everyone will think how worthless they are alone points to their inflated sense of self-importance, thus making them worthless anyway.

Fearing to be exposed as useless or a fraud (because that's the only reason anyone'd want to talk to them- they have no other function than to be a walking encyclopedia writing term papers for their gregarious, beautiful best friend who is never single), the young fives close themselves off to their parents, reasoning that the grapes must be sour, or that their parents' love is not real because _they have to love them damn it_. Another common line of reasoning is: If you never try, you never look stupid. Accompanying this deep sense inadequacy is their paradoxical narcissism: the ego must be shielded at all costs. 

By never stepping out into the world and pretending to have other interests, they, like Fyodor Dostoyevsky's Underground Man, may gaze into the pond and comfort himself with the notion that he has an "intelligent face", or so he likes to think. Indeed, who would not, if he were bespectacled from reading from dawn to dusk, pale as a three-day-old corpse being cooped up in his den for months on end, believing if he could just figure out Stoke's Theorem he could become that SUPER AWESOME AND CHARISMATIC DUD HE SEES HOSTING THAT REALITY SHOW, WITH ALL THE KNOCK-OUTS FAWNING OVER HIS NEWLY SHINED SHOES, or Zverkov aka. _l'homme de la nature et de la verite_. God I hate posers like him.

So the Underground Man, drunk on the virtue of his intellect, invites himself to parties (with people who has hated him since he was five (give or take), no less) and all that jazz, and finally finds his place in the larger world of actual human beings. Feeling slightly more confident after mastering multivariable calculus, UGM decides it is finally time (about time, after 27 years, that is) to prance around Petersburg explaining to any girl who'd listen how if you just took the triple integral of... what? Yes, I like to go on road trips too, Mr. UGM. [moment of truth]... ... ... And he finally gets laid.

Just kidding. Really? D'you actually believe that? He still owes his "friend" (the same one whose party he crashed, and hated him since he was five) a bunch of money and there is no doubt they never want to see him again, so he goes and completely fucks up his only chance to get laid. Nice, UGM, real smooth. He finally realizes he was trying to make himself believe this fantasy, before it dawns upon him that nobody gives a shit about Stoke's Theorem in the real world of money and beauty and social graces, that he might as well go back to his coop because at least there, he has one person who would deign to look at him: his servant. God, does he remember how pathetic servants can be when they want their salary! They'd even look at him! It's all for shit anyway, because if anything, he has just proved that he can never be one of _them_.

Why did I tell you that? Pah. Why do I bother with you? I have been living like this for twenty years now in the Underground. I don't need _you_. I've never needed you. I don't need to tell you this. Except you aren't listening to me. I'm writing this, after all. I think I should just end my writing right here. You know what that means? The great existential and literary _significance _of my ending my Type 5 description right here? You've never cracked open a philosophy book, have you, you posers, thinking you're living _the life_? Now do you understand why I live here, away from you insects. You know how I got this way?

[THE EDITOR SAW IT FIT TO CUT OUT THE REST, BECAUSE IT GOES ON FOR QUITE A WHILE AND DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING HE HASN'T SAID BEFORE]


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## Choice (May 19, 2012)

*I don't know a good 7 insult either, but lemme try...*

Warning: I added in logic fail on purpose.

* *






*You hear an extremely self righteous voice move towards you:*

Hey, you want the truth? You're stuck. There are all these great experiences out there and you'll never get any of them.
Because you don't know how to plan.
All you see is what satisfies you immediately. 
You want everything now and you always miss out when something better comes along. 
You can shrug it off, but It's always gonna stay that way. Because you can do nothing. And you'll never get anywhere.

This is all you care about - what you want. You have no other purpose in life and you'll never be anything. 
You will never be useful, never be more than your emotions and never be as happy as you want. 

Maybe you should want less. It'll make the world a better place. If we all gave up, knew our places, and were satisfied with what we had, no one would complain.
You might as well.
You'll never get better.




Comments? I guess it can be shortened. I read it over and it's still more LOLWTF? than GRRRRR. *sigh*

--

Edit.* For 2s. WARNING: This is really stereotyped and very cheesy.* 


* *





You're a piece of [censored] and no one really likes you. Because nobody needs your help. They're just using you.

And they'll never appreciate you. Because you know what you are?
Needy, Clingy, Dependent,
Worthless.

How many people do you even want to fix before you'll be satisfied anyway? 
If everyone was entirely helpless and you're the dominant one who's babying them all the time, it'd be heaven wouldn't it?

You're not a good person at all. All you do is place people in inferior positions so you can have power over them. And then you pretend that you care to trick us all into loving you. 

And when things don't work out, you start it with the guilt trips.

Seriously. Stop helping out, stop being manipulative and stop smothering people.


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## Lady Golden (May 16, 2012)

No 4 answer... I am not positive I am a 4 (might be a 6), but so far it's the type I relate the most to... 
I don't relate to the 4 insult here, nor to the 6...

As for the 4, I would rather try something like that :

"You think you're different, you think you're unique, but actually you're the same as those ugly, mundane people you hate so much. 
You're just an ordinary person, and there is nothing wrong with that. Why would you have to be special? Don't you know that some people suffer more than you? That they would actually be happy to be in the same situation as you and would use they freedom much better than you do?
Stop whining about your so-called suffering, it doesn't make you unique, it just makes you boring. Anyway, why would anyone bother understanding someone as shallow as you ? "


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## Kito (Jan 6, 2012)

Honestly, the biggest 7 insult I can think of is "You're boring." Just those two words. That's the last thing we want to be. 

A sure way to insult any 4 is to tell them they're something they're not. Find out what personality traits they strongly believe themselves to have, and then tell them they have the opposites. You're completely undermining their lifelong search for identity that way.


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## Jewl (Feb 28, 2012)

That list was pretty dang good, @Tucken. ^_^ If I might suggest some changes: 

4 - Stop trying to get validation from other people about how "different" and "unique" you are. Stop feeling that need to stand out in your difference. The truth is you are no more unique than any other human being on this planet. Accept yourself. You'll find out who you really are. 

6 - You will never find the perfect solid thing to stand on, you will never find something sure enough, you will never be able to prepare enough in this world. So stop trying. The world's uncertain, so what? It does no good to be paranoid about it. It will only make you act out in fear. Find the courage to walk forwards confidently. Take things as they come. 

7 - You do nothing but run. You just want to feel good all the time. You're just doing this because you're afraid. Afraid of the negative. The truth is you're only going to make the problem get bigger by ignoring it. If you keep on going this way, you'll start drowning in your problems, and it's going to effect your life and everybody else's. Do the brave thing and face it. Stop running.

Just thought I'd add those. This was actually kind of fun... Sorry for insulting people, though. ^^'


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## Saira (Feb 2, 2012)

@_Jiktin_ You _nailed_ type 7. It made me sooo sad. :sad: Well, at least until my mind drifted off to my stomach - I really want some chocolate.

This "insulting" is very interesting. It definitelly confirmed that I'm a 7. It's really hard to hurt us long-term (and by long-term I mean more than an hour IRL or 10 secs on the Internet).

What's interesting is that 8, 3 and (surprisingly!) 9 insults make me much more angry than those of a 7. I'd like to think some more about this, but I just saw something shiny!!!

P.S.

Here's how the triads could react to the insults:

Head types --- you doubt your way of life and the external factors like money and society. You start asking yourself if you should change something. (Nah, says a 7)
Gut insults --- make you doubt your actions. You feel defiant and blame the person who had insulted you. How dare they try to intervene in my life!
Heart insults --- make you doubt your very being. You feel hurt and fatalistic. You're flawed and there's no way to change that.


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## Coburn (Sep 3, 2010)

> 1: You're no good as you are, because you're trying to be perfect. When you try, all you manage to do is fuck things up. And you think you're always right, but that's just because you're afraid to be wrong. There is no such thing as right or wrong, life will make you more humble. Stop trying to be rightous and you'll find everything is perfect already.


This is where you tell the person to stop drinking the Disney kool-aid.


I think a good way to insult Ones is to twist their words. Take what they say, apply troll logic, and then throw it back at them as a straw man argument. I hate being misinterpreted, especially on a willful note.

Also, I can't stand people playing "psychic" during a conversation. A surefire way to kill a conversation with me is to start assuming you know what I think/feel. Perhaps that has more to do with Fi than anything else, but I could see it insulting Ones as well.


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## Choice (May 19, 2012)

Kito said:


> Honestly, the biggest 7 insult I can think of is "You're boring." Just those two words. That's the last thing we want to be.


Not really. If I'm boring, that means I won't draw so much attention and they'll leave me alone to do the stuff I want to. Who cares if they find it boring.

I find that the easiest way to piss me off is just to randomly accuse me of things I didn't do and then demand that I make up for them.
-


> Head types --- you doubt your way of life and the external factors like money and society. You start asking yourself if you should change something. (Nah, says a 7)
> Gut insults --- make you doubt your actions. You feel defiant and blame the person who had insulted you. How dare they try to intervene in my life!
> Heart insults --- make you doubt your very being. You feel hurt and fatalistic. You're flawed and there's no way to change that.


seems accurate so far. Small sample of people I've related it to though. Needs more testing. bbl


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## Tonios (May 15, 2012)

For me its is " You can't do anything right" or if someone critisises my goals like " you will never make it ".


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## Ellis Bell (Mar 16, 2012)

I'd probably not be insulted by a type 5 insult, because I'd need you to provide a line of reasoning to back up your assertion. So if you called me incompetent, I'd want to know why you think that, with proof. Otherwise I'd shrug you off as an emotional hysteric. Type 5s tend to be thick-skinned and kind of oblivious.


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## lizzypissed (10 mo ago)

"I can imagine a 7 laughing at "you have no fun" because of how untrue it might be. Maybe it might be better to say they're never dependable because they keep running? It'd probably work better on a 7w6 though, so... not sure about 7w8."

heh, as a 7w6 someone's called me boring before, but I just laughed because i knew it was totally untrue-

OOOH and another thought, what about telling a 7, "You wish you had fun, but you don't really, do you? It's all a happy face for the world to hide your discomfort of a little fear."
[/QUOTE]
LMAO yeah if someone said that to me then i would be like 
"😳..h-how did you know that about me ... can you like read my mind or something"


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## Eugenia Shepherd (Nov 10, 2017)

Properly insulting for a 3w4~display an utter lack of confidence in their abilities/competence or ignore their efforts.
Continually treat them as though they were immature, frail, or shortsighted troglodytes regardless of skill-level exhibited.
Constantly criticize & nitpick their work, question their motives, or intentionally obstruct their path/make life harder.
If one desires a more nefarious/evil strike, public embarrassment or humiliation will do the trick nicely, as well as
spreading rumors, or rejecting their company/requests/support with exaggerated disgust.

At least IME it's sort of difficult to "offend" a 3, you have to act; verbal insults tend to ricochet, esp.
if the 3 in question is humorously self-deprecating.
Example~someone informs me, "I don't like you"; I respond with "Well, okay, I don't really like me either, sometimes (lol)."
"You're a loser...", "You'll never bring anything good to this world...", "You're worthless/useless..."
just might be met with laughter by a 3.


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