# My First Experience with Duality



## Tainted Streetlight (Jun 13, 2011)

These past two weeks I had my first serious experience with duality. Now that it has just ended, I just wanted to share the amazement that it was. The post is something very different than what I normally post, but I feel we might dwell a little too much on theory in this forum. So I hope somewhere down the line, this helps someone find duality, and all of the joy therein.
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So without further ado, in narrative form:


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I met a girl.


Two weeks ago, I decided to take an art class at my university. They called it the January Term, two intensive weeks, six hours a day, three credits. The class was going to be short, simple, and fun. I needed the class for a pre-requisite for a photo class the next semester. Some small part of me hoped I would find a dual, but I was trying not to obsesses about it too much.

The first day of the class, I was late. Nothing new there. Slightly upset, I walked into the classroom and squinting from a lack of contacts, I grabbed the first open seat I could. I wonder to this day how much of a coincidence that was.

The girl I had sat down next to was cute and blond. She was wearing a pretty outfit. It was quite easy to tell she had dressed up. Looking down at my old, smelly clothes, I gritted my teeth. Writing out a quick justification, for my current state (a trip through backcountry Florida) I decided somethings you just had to live with. So I put on my best smile, and found excuses to talk to her. I really enjoyed flirting with her, but didn't think too much of it. However, to my amazement, the more that I talked to her, the more I realized that she was incredibly similar to me. Improbably, she came from the other end of the same town as me. She was studying the same thing and liked doing the outdoorsy things I did. We even had a very similar ethnic background. The longer I talked to her, the more amazed I felt that I had sat down next to her of all people.
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That first day, she helped with my terrible first drawings I had ever made, and by that time (as I flirted as much as I could), I decided I had her typed. I decided she was an ISFp - Fe, and that she was my (ENTp - Ti) dual.

That day, when lunch time rolled around, I realized that I hadn't packed a lunch, so I suggested that we go out to eat (with all of the heart-in-throat that these first connections usually have). At lunch I obviously felt some connection. The more she talked about herself, the more interesting she seemed. The more time I spent with her, the more attracted I became. 

Steadily over the next couple days, we found each other spending unusually large amounts of time together. We started going out to lunch every day. We got into a sort of natural rhythm. She would pick some place to eat, and when we got there, she would just pick something for me to eat. She would tell me what was really good, and I would eat it, and lo and behold, the food would be amazing. I didn't have to struggle with any hard food decisions. It was such a great experience, she sort of naturally did the things I felt uncomfortable doing. 
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When the first Friday rolled around, something spontaneous and strange happened: we started hanging out outside of class. Like only college kids would do, we brought alcohol to work on our left-over school work. 

It was an amazing night. We put on some music and very quickly forgot about our work. We ended up talking and talking. I night began to feel almost magical. Where other people my age may gorge themselves sexually, we gorged ourselves mentally. It was like someone had opened up a faucet and everything true and honest spilled out. The longer we talked, the more secrets and confessions seemed to tumble out. We told each other things that we would have never felt comfortable telling other people. We talked about our past mistakes, current worries, and future ambitions. Everything all felt so right and simple. 
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Every bit of communication felt normal and natural. There were no mindgames, no playing hard to get, just the simple sharing of two minds and two lives. I spent long hours every single day with this girl for two weeks, and never have I still been so intrigued in a person. The relationship never became overtly physical, but somehow, that felt just right. 

There's a description of duality out there that says there is a sense of déjà-vu when you meet your true dual, and I never believed it. Now, I know better. During this class, I would find myself staring at her for minutes on end, feeling like I knew her from somewhere, somewhen before. I took a picture of her one day rather spur-of-the moment, and looking at it almost made me dizzy. I had the very tangible feeling I had seen this very picture before. It was the most bizarre thing.
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They were a crazy two weeks. 

In this time period, I felt I learned so much, and I knew that she learned a lot as well. She taught me to live in the moment, and I taught her to plan for the future. I taught her moderation, and she taught me immoderation.

Throughout it all, there was a sense of ease. There was a comfort with the relationship that I haven't really had before.
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The class is now over, and the relationship somehow never became something more concrete. But there is no remorse. Regardless of what happens in the future, I will always look positively back on this class, to this episodes of my life, and of the artistic girl who never truly let herself be defined.

And that, to me, is what duality is.


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## Pancreatic Pandora (Aug 16, 2013)

Tainted Streetlight said:


> I met a girl.


Oh noes love storytiem

-after reading- 

Aww that was adorable. It's a pity you are not seeing each other anymore.

We should have like a collection of duality stories in the forum and make a book and call it "The Socionics Soap Opera".


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

lol. But I did appreciate that story. I can relate to things too, though my duality is kind of the same but reverse. @Amaterasu


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## Vermillion (Jan 22, 2012)

ephemereality said:


> lol. But I did appreciate that story. I can relate to things too, though my duality is kind of the same but reverse. @_Amaterasu_


uh I was expecting a long story about how awesome I am and how I totally changed your life? Go on, don't keep me waiting. It's always me who ends up saying the gratifying stuff so now I want to hear something that makes me all fluffy and happy too. (Please? :happy: Ok now go write.)

@_Tainted Streetlight_ that story was really adorable! I'm glad you had a great experience with your dual and I hope you meet that person (or someone like her. or better!) again. Duality is an awesomely satisfying thing really, and a fantastic learning experience. If eph here doesn't write something, I think I'll narrate our story too ^^ 

Uh, that is if I later don't decide it's too awkward of a thing to do.


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## Vermillion (Jan 22, 2012)

Pancreatic Pandora said:


> We should have like a collection of duality stories in the forum and make a book and call it "The Socionics Soap Opera".


Totally down for The Socionics Soap Opera. If it becomes a show, can I be the lead? I'm first in line anyway hahah


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Amaterasu said:


> Totally down for The Socionics Soap Opera. If it becomes a show, can I be the lead? I'm first in line anyway hahah


Wait what, since when did you become first in line? 

And I was thinking about writing something, but meh, maybe later. I need to formulate it first.


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## Vermillion (Jan 22, 2012)

ephemereality said:


> Wait what, since when did you become first in line?


Well I don't see you, or anyone else, asking to be the lead in the show. Though if I'm the lead you automatically have to be (at least) an important character too ahaha.



> And I was thinking about writing something, but meh, maybe later. I need to formulate it first.


Yay thanks  Make it long and interesting.


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Amaterasu said:


> Well I don't see you, or anyone else, asking to be the lead in the show. Though if I'm the lead you automatically have to be (at least) an important character too ahaha.


Uh, thanks but I think I rather skip. 



> Yay thanks  Make it long and interesting.


One day... in the future!


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## Tainted Streetlight (Jun 13, 2011)

I would love to hear everyone's duality experiences!


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## Vermillion (Jan 22, 2012)

ephemereality said:


> Uh, thanks but I think I rather skip.


You fucking suck -_- Come on, how is it going to be a hard role? All you have to do is be your normal quiet and bored self while I do all the talking. If it's a show about duality, the easiest way to play the role is to be yourself.

Think about the money we could make. That entice you yet?



> One day... in the future!


Should I even have asked. 

Well, that day had better come soon. Patience is not my forte.


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Amaterasu said:


> You fucking suck -_- Come on, how is it going to be a hard role? All you have to do is be your normal quiet and bored self while I do all the talking. If it's a show about duality, the easiest way to play the role is to be yourself.
> 
> Think about the money we could make. That entice you yet?


But it means people also need to look at me. Also, if you do all the talking something is going to fuck up sooner or later so I will need to talk anyway. 


> Should I even have asked.
> 
> Well, that day had better come soon. Patience is not my forte.


No, not for the sake of your own sanity.


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## Vermillion (Jan 22, 2012)

ephemereality said:


> But it means people also need to look at me. Also, if you do all the talking something is going to fuck up sooner or later so I will need to talk anyway.


wow wow WOW excuse you. I'm an excellent talker. Don't even go there. You want a talk-off? I'd win.

Also what's wrong if people look at you? You look fine. Stoic dude in black, bet everyone's going to be intrigued.



> No, not for the sake of your own sanity.


Which part are you referring to when saying this?


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Amaterasu said:


> wow wow WOW excuse you. I'm an excellent talker. Don't even go there. You want a talk-off? I'd win.


Are you sure? 



> Also what's wrong if people look at you? You look fine. Stoic dude in black, bet everyone's going to be intrigued.


Yes, as a background statist. 




> Which part are you referring to when saying this?


Both, neither, none?


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## Vermillion (Jan 22, 2012)

ephemereality said:


> Are you sure?


110%. Bet you're going to be so boring I can nap for a couple of hours while you're monologuing... tsk, declarer types. At least I'm interactive and engaging and talk colorfully.



> Yes, as a background statist.


No  Then what fun would I have being the lead? It doesn't work that way. You have to play a good role too.



> Both, neither, none?


Soooo specific, I totally get it. Thanks for answering the question so descriptively. You vague fuck.


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Amaterasu said:


> 110%. Bet you're going to be so boring I can nap for a couple of hours while you're monologuing... tsk, declarer types. At least I'm interactive and engaging and talk colorfully.


Because when you're holding a speech you're doing a dialogue... 



> No  Then what fun would I have being the lead? It doesn't work that way. You have to play a good role too.


I can be your amazing background statist. 



> Soooo specific, I totally get it. Thanks for answering the question so descriptively. You vague fuck.


You're welcome.


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## Vermillion (Jan 22, 2012)

ephemereality said:


> Because when you're holding a speech you're doing a dialogue...


When you're holding a speech it's your responsibility to make sure you talk in a way that makes the audience feel involved. Not like they've been handed pillows and had sleeping pills stuffed into their mouths. You can achieve that with sentences that the audience is able to formulate responses to in their head. 

Besides this is a talk-off, right? Not a speech. Though I'm down for either tbh.



> I can be your amazing background statist.


Oooh, sounds very promising... not. Though you know, if I'm the lead, you'd start out as a background statist anyway. Then you'd have to play a larger role. And then an even larger one. See, it's gradual. Does that sound more comfortable? We have to reach a compromise here. Start out as my amazing background statist, and end up as my amazing co-lead. Good? Good.


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Amaterasu said:


> When you're holding a speech it's your responsibility to make sure you talk in a way that makes the audience feel involved. Not like they've been handed pillows and had sleeping pills stuffed into their mouths. You can achieve that with sentences that the audience is able to formulate responses to in their head.
> 
> Besides this is a talk-off, right? Not a speech. Though I'm down for either tbh.


Well, if you're telling about yourself to an audience, isn't that a speech? Anyway, I've been told I'm a good speaker so go try, lol. 



> Oooh, sounds very promising... not. Though you know, if I'm the lead, you'd start out as a background statist anyway. Then you'd have to play a larger role. And then an even larger one. See, it's gradual. Does that sound more comfortable? We have to reach a compromise here. Start out as my amazing background statist, and end up as my amazing co-lead. Good? Good.


Doesn't that mean your role should be diminished too? How does it otherwise become something equal?


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## Vermillion (Jan 22, 2012)

ephemereality said:


> Well, if you're telling about yourself to an audience, isn't that a speech?


How is that relevant?



> Anyway, I've been told I'm a good speaker so go try, lol.


Sure! Meanwhile I'd also like to speak to the people who offered you this compliment? And see if they happened to be drunk or something on that occasion.



> Doesn't that mean your role should be diminished too? How does it otherwise become something equal?


No, why does it have to be? If I'm the lead we start out by seeing things from my POV. From my POV, you weren't always present in my life.


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## Dragheart Luard (May 13, 2013)

*Grabs popcorn for reading the discussion* This is so much lulz, please continue.


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

Amaterasu said:


> How is that relevant?


It's relevant because you claim you include the audience and suggest I'm a boring speaker because I'm a declarer type who doesn't do that, except the type of speech held is irrelevant in whether the audience is involved or not in the first place so your argument is moot. 



> Sure! Meanwhile I'd also like to speak to the people who offered you this compliment? And see if they happened to be drunk or something on that occasion.


No, it was a conference speech. They were not drunk. They were very much interested in my topic. 



> No, why does it have to be? If I'm the lead we start out by seeing things from my POV. From my POV, you weren't always present in my life.


Yeah, but if it's fair they will see it from my POV too.


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