# How to deal with a rude friend



## brightteyes (Aug 15, 2010)

So basically I have this so called friend. We used to be really good friends back in fifth grade, then we fought through middle school. I apologized to her in seventh grade and then we were talking again. However, this friend has an eating disorder. During the end of eighth grade, she started to get jealous of me. Some people have been telling me about a recent conversation and how she said that she was going to be skinnier than me. Hearing about this conversation raised my concerns. It immediately let me know that she isn't over this whole weight thing.


She is a person that directs all rudeness specifically towards me. She doesn't share this rudeness purposely to anyone else like she does to me. Just last year she began to comment about my weight and saying things like: 'my mom thinks you are scary skinny'. She has an eating disorder and I seem to be connected to it. I don't want to, and I certainly do not need to be involved. It is not place to be responsible. I've come to a point where I don't know what to. If I talk to her then she won't listen. I've tried talking to her in the past and she specifically told me she wouldn't listen. 


I've been trying to ignore her but it has made the situation even worse. I thought that doing so would stop her from being rude but it hasn't. Instead, she has made a big scene and is making sure that she ignores me in a very rude way; glaring is one of those things that she's big on. No matter how hard I try to ignore her, she still gets under my skin. Since we used to be so close, we hang around the same social groups. Where I go she will usually end up being there. Where ever I go she purposely starts conflict. She will be totally unresponsive and uncooperative to anything I do or say; it's a road block really.


What can I do besides ignoring her? What is the best way of dealing with this? I will read any words of advice or people who have experienced with this type of nature.


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## wonderfert (Aug 17, 2010)

If it all possible, which it doesn't sound like, complete and total disassociation. I'm sorry that I can't provide anything more than that. It sounds like this person is seeking conflict, and so your ignoring her seems the best option. 

Perhaps the social group would be willing to meet you separately if you explained that you don't feel comfortable being around this other person. I doubt that they wouldn't have noticed her behavior.


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## brightteyes (Aug 15, 2010)

Some have noticed her odd behavior. She is showing signs of anorexia.


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## BlissfulDreams (Dec 25, 2009)

The way that she directs her anger towards you and doesn't want to listen seems like she might be trying to manipulate you. Perhaps she is trying to see how far you will go to stop her because in a weird way, it's showing that you/someone cares. She seems to want that sort of attention. And the comments about "my mom thinks your scary skinny", along with the glaring, sound like she's purposely trying to strike a nerve with you. This also seems to be attention seeking.

I could be wrong, but this is how it comes across to me. When I was in junior high/high school, I had a friend who acted similar. She was about 80 lbs heavier than me and was very insecure about her weight. But she tried to put on a tough face and pretend that other people's comments didn't bother her. Like your friend, she would say that her mom thought I was too skinny and use that as a way to make fun of me. She would make comments about how she was going to be skinny and would go through periods where she would starve herself. I didn't know what to do. On one hand, I cared a lot about her because she was my friend and we had some history. But on the other hand, I could not stand the passive-aggressiveness, manipulation, and attention-seeking.

I don't know if your friend is like the girl I knew, but if she is not willing to cooperate (unless it suits her interests), then it might be best just to try to avoid her whenever possible. If she is acting this way to get a reaction, she might start to see that you aren't willing to put up with her crap anymore.


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## BlissfulDreams (Dec 25, 2009)

brightteyes said:


> She is showing signs of anorexia.


What signs is she showing?


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## Inky (Dec 2, 2008)

It sounds like you're going through a very difficult problem. What kind of scenes is she causing? Do you think you can talk to other close friends about it such that they will support you when it happens?

At this point you need to ask yourself if you still consider her a friend. If you do choose to keep her a friend though, I'll have to say it is going to be far more difficult that dissociating yourself from her.

Have you thought about seeking the help of an adult for this? Maybe talk to her mother, if you're close enough?


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## brightteyes (Aug 15, 2010)

Yes, BlissfulDreams she sounds very much like my friend and the situation that this happening. Thank you for sharing ^_^ I know, it seems very twisted the way she is behaving. The problem is though, is when she says that she's going to try to be skinnier than me, I really think that she is trying to reach that goal. I think she is so obsessed about losing weight that she makes it personal. This attitude that she has towards me is starting to scare me. For example, this morning at school I was sitting in a room, and the minute she walked in and saw me she immediatly walked out. But before she walked in I was paying close attention to the sound of the foot steps and began to dread of the idea of that person being her. For fear of her nasty comments or something far worse than that. 

She is making a big deal out of this and yes, I am starting to think that she is trying to manipulate me. But I know now not to take her commments personally. She simply is rude to me because she wants to hurt my feelings and make me feel bad. I know that I can break off the relationship by ignoring her but I want reasurance that she stop treating me this way. I fear that if this goes on any longer, than her aggression towards me will become worse and even stronger. Which will make it even harder for me to coop with. 

I have been wanting to talk to a counselor, or somebody in that line of work, about this.

Around eighth grade she started taking medication because of her week immune system. The medicine made her bloated and gain weight and that is when she started to become unhappy. 



> What signs is she showing?


Well I was looking up some articles online yesterday about symptoms of anorexia. I don't know how accurate they were, but I'm assuming they are correct, because they sounded ideal. A couple of the signs that she shows are (which are listed in these articles): wearing loose fitting clothes to hide loss of weight, self-conscience of eating infront of others, weird food rituals, cuts on her legs and arms, obsessing over weight or food (like: 'oh, this has too many calories, I can't eat this), pretending to eat food or lying about eating food (Her dad makes sure that she eats, but she always complains about it).
And she has lost a lot of weight over a short period of time.

Another thing that caught my eye: anorexia is a mental illness and some teens look online and read about tips to become anorexic, which is over-all sick. I remember one day when I was at her house, this was the time when she was big on xanga (a blogging website). There were some blogs that she was on. They were written by girls who had eating disorder and they talked about it. She eventually blocked me from going on her blog, but before she did I remember seeing that she was posting the number of calories of the food that she was consuming each day.

This is starting to concern me but I know it's not any of my business. Someone referred to me that she has an eating order. We are in a winter sport together and our coaches have to take measurements on us. The last time this happened she began to cry and I asked someone what was wrong and they told me that she doesn't like meausuring tapes. 




> Have you thought about seeking the help of an adult for this? Maybe talk to her mother, if you're close enough?


Yes, I talked to my mom and dad about. Both of my parents are very supporting of me. People in school who are associated with her know that she complains about food and weight, but they don't know her well enough to pick up on anything. She has really weird behavior and I have no doubt in my mind that her mind is extremely ubalanced. I don't think her parents know about anything about this and that scares me. The thing with anorexia is that it slowely starts in ones mind and then throught-out the course of time it becomes stronger. People with this disorder start thinking a certain way and if parents of the teen don't notice this right away then it can be bad. I read that the sooner one starts noticing about the symptons of an eating disorder than this person needs treatment right away. If they don't get treatment right away then it will start getting harder and harder to change this persons mind set.

I was going to talk to our school counselor about it today, but after the conversation of my mom encouraging me to, my dad told me that I don't have any say over her having an eating disorder or not. He also told me that I can't talk to anybody who has authority, that it is a law, and that if I did tell someone than they would say: ' I can't talk to this about you'. Only parents can have this right over their child. I could tell her parents about it, but I'm not completely positive if that is the right thing to do. I want to tell someone about this and I think I have the most proof of her showing signs of having an eating disorder.


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## BlissfulDreams (Dec 25, 2009)

From the sounds of things, your friend could very well have some sort of eating disorder. I used to use Xanga and I've seen some of those blogs myself. They are really disturbing. It's definitely not the place that someone like your friend should be visiting because the girls on there all try to support each other and their sickness.

But I'm glad that you have people to talk to. I would suggest trying to be as open as you can with your parents so that they can guide you through this. If your friend tries to manipulate you and your parents know what's going on, they may be able to see it before you can. With my friend, she tried to make me feel guilty about telling me parents what was going on and it gave her more control.

I would also suggest trying to talk to her parents, if you can. You mentioned that they might not have a clue what is going on with their daughter and so I'm sure that it would be something they would like to know about. If you are worried about your friend retaliating or getting angry at you, you may want to ask your parents if they could talk to her parents, instead of you doing it yourself.

I wouldn't worry about trying to get enough "proof" before talking to a school counsellor. If you let them know what you think may be going on, they can keep a look out for signs or ask teachers if they notice any suspicious behaviour. It's not your responsibility to gather all the evidence and perhaps going to a counsellor now will help them talk to her before her sickness gets worse. And at the very least, talking to a school counsellor may help you make sense of the mixed feelings you have right now.

But if your friend's condition does get worse, don't feel guilty about it. I think your only responsibility right now is to tell an adult who might have more influence than you do. Don't carry the problem on your shoulders. It's not your fault and you're just trying to help.

As you said, your friend is mentally unstable right now. She might be looking for someone to blame for the way she feels or her behaviour. If she tries to do that, try not to take the comments personally, despite what she says. She's probably very angry right now (at herself or others) and doesn't realize how her words are affecting others. But that does not give her the right to treat you poorly.

Be on the lookout for comments like, "Why are you ignoring me? Don't you care?" or the dramatic ones like, "I bet you wouldn't care if I died". She may even try to convince you that you are a horrible person or friend. But try to remember that you are doing what you can to help her and that you respect yourself enough to not let someone talk down to you like that, even though they themselves are hurting.

Looking back at my own experience, I wish I hadn't felt like I had to take responsibility for my friend. I thought she had no one (that's what she would tell me) and so I did my best to be there for her, however she needed me. But she manipulated me to feel powerful and better about herself. She destroyed my self-esteem and I wish I had been strong enough to walk away.


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## brightteyes (Aug 15, 2010)

Oh, wow. That is powerfull. 

This deal is really sick and I just want out of it. 

Yes, telling someone confidentially would be nice. I don't need her to have even more excusses to give talk crap to me about. I'm glad I detatched myself from her. 

But I think I might be the only one to inform someone. I won't take responsibility. I don't want to and it's not my place to. But I will tell somebody. 

Thank you :happy:


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## brightteyes (Aug 15, 2010)

By the way, why would she be angry at other people? That is the one thing that I don't understand.


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## jbking (Jun 4, 2010)

*Huh.....*

Good luck on getting through this which seems like a mix between "Mean Girls" and "Gossip Girl" in a way.



brightteyes said:


> By the way, why would she be angry at other people?


She could be angry for any number of reasons. Maybe her life isn't quite unfolding like the dream she thought it would. If one expects life to be this cakewalk where nothing goes wrong and everything is just honky-dory all the time, reality can be one mean wake up call. I would suggest that you find someone that you can confide about these issues and get them off your chest. While you can't fix her, you can do various things to prevent her for knocking you out which is where counselors or other people may be useful in getting alternative ideas of how to cope. While I am a guy, I can relate to being the victim of a bully that managed to affect me so much that I went into my shell for years and am just in the last few years starting to really spread my wings and fly.


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## Rez (Nov 6, 2009)

rude friends will

have someone be rude to them

and they will bite their tongue

then finally, will they be able to see what they have caused others


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## zwanglos (Jan 13, 2010)

Rez said:


> rude friends well
> 
> have someone be rude to them
> 
> ...


I was about to suggest this myself... she strikes me as the kind of person who can dish it out, but can't take it. If it's within your knowhow/wit/power, a few rude comments back -- directly after she makes a rude comment -- might diffuse the situation (or get someone else to do it). 

"My mom says you're scary skinny."
"Everyone's scary skinny in comparison to you."

'Friendship', as it were. You paint it as though said friendship isn't worth preserving in the first place, anyway, so I don't see what there is to lose.


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## BlissfulDreams (Dec 25, 2009)

zwanglos said:


> I was about to suggest this myself... she strikes me as the kind of person who can dish it out, but can't take it. If it's within your knowhow/wit/power, a few rude comments back -- directly after she makes a rude comment -- might diffuse the situation (or get someone else to do it).
> 
> "My mom says you're scary skinny."
> "Everyone's scary skinny in comparison to you."


To be honest, I can't see anything good coming from this. There are ways to stand up for one's self without stooping to the same level as the other person. The only thing I see resulting from comments like this is more drama and one-upping each other. If others come to her defence with such comments, that's one thing. It's different if you're insulting someone who is already acting out because they are hurting (despite how idiotic they may be behaving).

But I agree that such a friendship is probably not worth preserving.


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## brightteyes (Aug 15, 2010)

> To be honest, I can't see anything good coming from this. There are ways to stand up for one's self without stooping to the same level as the other person.


Amen sister, amen. I totally agree with this. Infact, it could probably be my motto. 
I try not to stoop down to someone elses level. It isn't a good stragety and there are better ways to deal with things than doing that. Besides, two wrongs don't make a right. Instead of being childish, I try to give the other person a taste of there own medicine without stooping down to their level, if I do conflict will start. I am avoiding feeding into her passive-aggression attitude. 

Though BlissfulDreams, I do have another question for you. Could the reason for her aggressive explosions of anger be because no one isn't giving her the attention that she wants? 



> She could be angry for any number of reasons. Maybe her life isn't quite unfolding like the dream she thought it would. If one expects life to be this cakewalk where nothing goes wrong and everything is just honky-dory all the time, reality can be one mean wake up call. *I would suggest that you find someone that you can confide about these issues and get them off your chest.*


Yes, I can see where that comes into play. But I think life is like that for everyone at some point in their lives. But it's different for everyone. 

I agree, and that is what I'm hoping will work. Talking to someone and getting suggestions on how to handle this. I want to escape so I can move on with my life.



> While I am a guy, I can relate to being the victim of a bully that managed to affect me so much that I went into my shell for years and am just in the last few years starting to really spread my wings and fly.


Well, I'm glad that you took it that way, instead of becoming a bully yourself. It can happen to some people, once someone has been bullied then they start treating other people the same way, sometimes they can't stop their own actions and it just happens. I'm not saying that I'm happy that you got bullied, I'm saying that I think your outcome is better then turning into a nasty person like the person that bullied you. I think you actually learn from something that happens to you. I tell myself that things, either good or bad, happen for a reason. Whether the experience is bad or not, you can still learn from it. 

And I bet it feels exhilarating to finally break out of your shell after being closed down for so long.


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## BlissfulDreams (Dec 25, 2009)

brightteyes said:


> Amen sister, amen. I totally agree with this. Infact, it could probably be my motto.
> I try not to stoop down to someone elses level. It isn't a good stragety and there are better ways to deal with things than doing that. Besides, two wrongs don't make a right. Instead of being childish, I try to give the other person a taste of there own medicine without stooping down to their level, if I do conflict will start. I am avoiding feeding into her passive-aggression attitude.


I'm glad to hear that. Too often, I think that comments lead to fighting matches. This is especially true for high school girls, where they are catty enough to begin with. 



brightteyes said:


> Though BlissfulDreams, I do have another question for you. Could the reason for her aggressive explosions of anger be because no one isn't giving her the attention that she wants?


I think that could be a cause. With the girl that I knew, she started spreading rumours and trying to destroy other friendships that I had. I think most of it is a power trip and when others don't buy into it, people like that get frustrated and desperate.

I think that the anger towards others stems from anger towards one's self. People like the girls that we know/knew get tired of being angry at themselves and want to find someone to dump their anger, blame, and frustrations on. I think that people tend to feel like others "owe" them when they believe they have been treated poorly, for too long. And once they start to realize they are behaving foolishly, they try to find excuses to justify their behaviour.


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## brightteyes (Aug 15, 2010)

> And once they start to realize they are behaving foolishly, they try to find excuses to justify their behaviour.


Too bad I won't be around when that day comes; I'm outta here.


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## zwanglos (Jan 13, 2010)

> Instead of being childish, *I try to give the other person a taste of there own medicine without stooping down to their level*, if I do conflict will start.


Aren't you contradicting yourself here a bit?

'stooping down to their level' = lowering your moral character by using their own methods against them

'giving them a taste of their own medicine' = using their own methods against them

If you eat the cake, you can't have it.


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## lylyness (Jul 31, 2010)

Doesn't seem like she values your friendship, and you shouldn't value hers. Her eating disorder is not your problem and you have NO responsibility to help her deal with it. Your (mental) health must come before anyone else's. Maybe it'd be better for both of you to just go your separate ways. 

I'm not clear on why it's so hard to "escape." Just cut off communication.


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## brightteyes (Aug 15, 2010)

> 'giving them a taste of their own medicine' = using their own methods against them


My method= ignoring them. 
I never express my anger through verbal abuse to anybody at school. The only time I use verbal abuse is at home. You will never find me cussing or anything dumb like that. 

I don't give people a taste of their own medicine by treating them the way treat me.


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## curious0610 (Jun 27, 2010)

Unfortunately, the best thing to do in a case like this is to ignore her, so you are already doing the right thing. As you get older, you'll realize that toxic friendships like this aren't worth your time and energy. Try to distance yourself from her, slowly, but keep things friendly and positive and surface-level. Don't try to convince her she's wrong or doing anything bad, because there will just be more anger and passive aggressiveness directed back to you.


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## brightteyes (Aug 15, 2010)

> Try to distance yourself from her, slowly, but keep things friendly and positive and surface-level. Don't try to convince her she's wrong or doing anything bad, because there will just be more anger and passive aggressiveness directed back to you.


I have made the mistake of fully ignoring her. This for me is natural. The first time I start ignoring someone it most likely turns out constant. Then my behavior becomes continuous and it becomes hard for me to break the cycle. I have been ignoring her for a few weeks now and thus she has (obviously) noticed. She doesn't know how to handle me ignoring her, so her best tactic is to react, in a negative way. The kind of attitude that doesn't solve anything but always and never fails to create obstacles to jump over. I find this type of behavior from her just a waste of my time, though I do feel kind of guilty. 
Most people look at her and say that she is the sweetest person. These people do not see the nasty part of her that I see. Besides, her attitude is very uncalled for. I haven't done anything recently to provoke it. Though it seems that ignoring her has been provoking her. I can't believe that I am saying this but I actually kind of miss talking to her, though I don't miss her attitude. 

Things have been going a little more smoothly now since she isn't in my Spanish class anymore. (This is our first week back from winter break and most people switch up their semester classes, so she did). 
I don't have to worry about her glaring at me or glancing my way every couple of seconds. That negative aura that seeps from her body isn't there anymore and it feels great.

I think the way that she will deal with this will be by ignoring me the way that I have been ignoring her. Just because she isn't in my Spanish class anymore doesn't mean that she has finally stepped out of my life. I still have two years left of high school. I know that I will still see her in the hallways and may even have some classes with her in the near future. This technically isn't over. All my worries will be gone if she ignores me superficially, but I still will feel a little hurt when we will finally part our seperate ways. But I know there are greater people out there that I can befriend. She was never a friend. The situation still kind of baffles me; I can't believe that I thought she was a friend, but now I have a better idea and definition of a true friend. She doesn't even come close to it.


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## Pachacutie (Aug 27, 2010)

First, you get yourself a big baseball bat and some sort of large bag.... 

But no, honestly... you should try to sit down and tell her everything you're thinking. Try to do it gently and in a slow manner. If she won't talk about the friendship, show concern for the disorder. If she won't talk about her disorder, tell her how you feel about your friendship. Find whatever avenue is possible to get some conversation going and try to keep a cool head. She's mentally ill and in a bad place. You can't always expect reason. 

On the other hand, if you can't help her... you may need to cut her from your life. Some people enjoy dragging others down with them. "Misery loves Company." I've learned this the hard way and typically once you begin to push away, they get introspective about what they've done pretty quickly. 

If that were to happen, let her know that you're still there for her if she's willing to accept help or needs it.


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## Evil Genius (Dec 31, 2010)

In my opinion you should just not be friends with her anymore, if I was in your situation i'd just tell her that she was being a rude and jealous asshole and needs to fuck off. Sorry for being so blunt, but sometimes that's the only solution for people like this.


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## brightteyes (Aug 15, 2010)

> In my opinion you should just not be friends with her anymore, if I was in your situation i'd just tell her that she was being a rude and jealous asshole and needs to fuck off.


Hahaha, I enjoy this comment. It's demanding, but hilarious. Though something that I probably wouldn't have the guts to do.


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## brightteyes (Aug 15, 2010)

Oh and just an update: so it turns out that she is still in my Spanish class, but her aunt passed away yesterday. She sits across from me and we were supposed to be playing a game with the people who sit across from us, when this happened she didn't even look over my way. She wouldn't say anything to me. The teacher noticed and came over if we had done the activity and she shook her head. 'Well you need to do it,' the teacher replied. She said something back (I didn't hear what exactly she said but) it sounded something like: 'I don't want to'. Then our teacher said: 'Do you need to leave the class room?' either she didn't reply and/or she just shook her head and finally teacher walked away. 



> Can someone please explain to me, or give me some type of tip or reasoning of understanding as to why she possibly would act like that? I would appreciate it. Because I don't understand why she would act like that. Obviously someone on here understands people more than I do.



I don't understand what her problem is. She was crying, too. Possibly because of her aunts death. But I don't know what I need to do. She made a big deal out of it and some of the students noticed. Later someone asked me what was wrong with her and I just shrugged my shoulders because I had no idea either. 

She has the weirdest behavior. I know it sounds like I'm obsessing over this but I kind of wish that she would just disappear, then I wouldn't be constantly talking about this all of the time. 

*Will really talking to her help me work this through?* Because I have tried to talk to her in the past and she would not cooperate with me what so ever. She gave me all the typical teenager responses like rolling her eyes and making big sighs. She also said things like "whatever" and "I'm not going to listen to you", and one of my favorites (sarcasm) "You sound like my mom". All of these responses are rude and so uncalled for. 

Since I have tried in the past to talk to her and she hasn't cooperated, then I can only imagine that if I try talking to her again about something than she will give me all of the same responses. I know that I can't have a mature talk with her about our relationship and get through to her when she hasn't ever cooperated in the past; history repeats itself. Though if there is some antidote to make her listen I'm not going to scramble around looking for it to waste my time so I can resolve something that, day by day, I grow tired of; because I've had enough with her effing attitude. Nonetheless, I don't have the energy to try and have a conversation with her, I know right off the bat (I have tried so many times before to have talks with her) that she will shoot me down and not listen. 

Examples: in the past I've confronted her about things that she has said to me that have hurt my feelings. You want to know her responses? "What?" "What are you even talking about?" "Wait, no, I didn't say that... I said this (fill in the blank)' "I didn't tell you that!" '"I didn't even say that!" "I don't know what you're talking about!" and a shit load of other things to that scream out: 'I don't really give a fuck if I hurt your feelings or not!'


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## jbking (Jun 4, 2010)

*Just a thought...*



brightteyes said:


> *Will really talking to her help me work this through?*


"Do you feel lucky, punk?" would be the Clint Eastwood line that comes to mind with that question as while there is a chance it could work out super-duper fantabulously awesomely spectacular, the probability of good things coming is pretty close to nil. Good luck on working through this some other way.


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## OxidativeCleavage (Dec 27, 2010)

I think that your ex-friend is suffering from some self esteem issues - you said that she gained weight and may be anorexic... 
She was also crying in class and obviously you guys are no longer in first grade so that kind of public display of emotion becomes a lot less acceptable barring serious and immediate physical or emotional injury... 

Obviously this girl is going through a really really hard time.. It may be that she is jealous of you - especially if she felt she was popular and attractive before and all of a sudden because of her illness and the medication her body has changed dramatically and thus her sense of self worth... 

She may be feeling like what has happened to her is tremendously unfair and looking at you with jealousy because she feels as though you are lucky, happy, and free of problems... to her it might seem as though your life is perfect - the perfect life she might feel she was meant to have and can't... 

It really isn't possible to know for sure what people are going through in their private lives... in this case I think your ex-friend deserves a little pity from your end... this is of course just my opinion and I can only tell you how I would handle this situation because I am me and not you...

That being said: if this was me - I would approach her and talk to her face to face... (you keep asking why is she behaving like this - perhaps you should just ask her - I would)... If that goes horribly you are a big girl and you can take it... she on the other hand might not be as emotionally or even mentally as strong as you right now due to some obvious problems that are going on in her life... so if you really want to be the bigger person you should take pity on her and try your best to be sympathetic to her situation without letting her walk all over you and treat you like a doormat... 

That might simply mean that you let her be a crazy bitch and do your best to ignore it.. if she attacks you physically that is one thing - but if she is just lashing out at you verbally - let it slide - obviously you keep your emotional distance from her (meaning you no longer trust her or rely on her for anything that you would typically expect from a friend) while at the same time taking pity on her and perhaps being willing to provide that kind of support to her on a limited basis (and only if she approaches you)... outside of her approaching you - you could simply refrain from talking shit about how weird she is or sick she is to other people that might get back to her (not saying you are) and basically if people do comment on these things in your presence you could go one step further and remind them that not everybody's life is perfect and perhaps she is going through things that the rest of you cannot comprehend... 

At the end of the day toxic people are toxic people and they should be removed from your life, but I chose to first assess if they can help what they are doing or not... some things are more malicious than others - sometimes people are just emotionally weak etc... and in those cases I still maintain my distance but I apply more pity etc and do what I can to help them when I can... 

Again this works for me - so I can't say if it will work for you..
but that is just my two cents..


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## brightteyes (Aug 15, 2010)

> She may be feeling like what has happened to her is tremendously unfair and looking at you with jealousy because she feels as though you are lucky, happy, and free of problems... to her it might seem as though your life is perfect - the perfect life she might feel she was meant to have and can't...


Right, I can understand this. I thought of that once before. Infact, i have looked at this in many different angles. So much of them that Im practically obsess. Her parents are different from mine, more strict. Mine our really nice loving and caring people. But then again it is not my fault that I am the way I am. She can't blame me for that and in a way she has. Plus, I've done everything I can to make things right with her. Too many times, too many chances. I'm done.

Though we're basically over that. I've come to a decision with this situation. I'm going to talk to her and if she can't take it than its her problem. I know it might sound harsh but that is what I am going to do. Because she has a really snobby attitude, despite her background. It's childish. There are many different ways to handle this situation and this is it. It works for me. I've spent too much time thinking about this and I am ready to move on. Everybody else has their on opinions.


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## Raichan (Jul 15, 2010)

Stand up to her, tell her to her face that she's being a douchebag. If she doesn't get it, cut her out of your life and mean it,


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## brightteyes (Aug 15, 2010)

That is what I want to do, but that would make me look like the smaller person. I am going to be the bigger person and tell her that I'd like to put an end to this tension so we can move on past this. I won't let her talk me down anymore, ill ignore it but wont sink own to her level. That's not productive, it'll just make even more conflict. Besides, she the one playing games. I'm so over it.


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