# Ex's pictures on Facebook/Instagram etc



## Aridela (Mar 14, 2015)

What's your opinion on keeping pictures of your ex online post a breakup? 

Would you be upset if your current partner kept pictures of their ex online? 

Would you expect them to take them down/make them private or is it too much to ask?


----------



## zchathaml (Aug 29, 2016)

*What's your opinion on keeping pictures of your ex online post a breakup? *
Personally, I don't care for someone on its intimate levels after we've broken up--I will not keep pictures of my ex after a breakup. 

*Would you be upset if your current partner kept pictures of their ex online? *
No.

*Would you expect them to take them down/make them private or is it too much to ask?*
I realize that my partner's history is personal to them, and they may have sentimentality towards their experiences together--but if they realize and recognize that I am their partner, and treat me as such (their heart+mind is loyal to our relationship, they respect me, and care for me, etc), I'd be okay with the pictures.


----------



## creationsh (Jun 3, 2015)

just be considerate. if you're not sure, ask. 

Sent from my Nexus 6 using Tapatalk


----------



## Aridela (Mar 14, 2015)

creationsh said:


> just be considerate. if you're not sure, ask.
> 
> Sent from my Nexus 6 using Tapatalk


I just did, haha.

Yeah I get where you're coming from, yet there seems to be a lot of controversy about this subject. 

If your ex kept pictures of him and his ex framed on his desk you are justified to be upset, yet there seems to be the view that pictures you have uploaded on Facebook are your past memories and there's nothing wrong keeping them. 

Personally I think keeping pictures of your ex, where you're kissing/holding hands on your feed is insensitive to your current partner, but I just wanted to see what other people think.


----------



## ientipi (Oct 17, 2013)

I would keep them up, memories are memories.


and I wouldn't expect someone to delete their past pictures w other people just because we're together, you can't act like you're current SO is the only person you've ever cared about if it isn't true

But I agree that any pictures that are not 'in the past' are a big no. For example, pictures of your past SO in your home framed, saved on your phone, or anything which implies that you currently care or think about them is a no. But because online social media profiles are a timeline of your life, to delete those pictures would be to attempt to erase memories, and I don't think you should try to erase memories.


----------



## Leviticus Cornwall (Mar 27, 2014)

Keep them. Moving on to start a new future doesn't erase your past. If the new partner has an issue with your past then they arnt worth your time anyways. I would only delete any passive agressive angsty breakup pictures if that's you're kind of thing as it's tacky to see a cyclic show of angsty photos in someone's Instagram from every 6 month break up. 

However the good stuff, hold onto that's it's valuable. Just don't let it keep you from uploading some new photos with the new partner.


----------



## kittenmogu (Jun 19, 2014)

They were a person with their own life, their own connections, before they were with me. They still are, and now I'm part of their bigger picture, not the entire picture. If I have any reason to not trust them, then I don't date them.


----------



## Aridela (Mar 14, 2015)

ientipi said:


> I would keep them up, memories are memories.
> 
> 
> and I wouldn't expect someone to delete their past pictures w other people just because we're together, you can't act like you're current SO is the only person you've ever cared about if it isn't true
> ...


Deleting is one thing but I would personally set any pictures that are overly romantic to private. You can still see the pictures, they're right there on your feed or your folders but other people can't. Why be inconsiderate when it's that easy? 

Also, if an ex had pictures on me where I was kissing/being romantic with them, I would think that they're still not over me/wouldn't like it. 

I'm not talking about when you've started dating rather when your new relationship is getting serious.


----------



## ThisIsNotBrittany (Feb 4, 2016)

To me, it indicates not being over the past relationship, an unwillingness to let go and move on. The past should be left in the past, not put on display or "kept for the memories"- the memories are still there in the mind and could be kept tucked away in a private folder on the desktop. "Not a big deal if it's up"? Then why is it such a big deal to take them down? Seems like something is a bit wrong there. 

I've been in a relationship with such topics, and against my better perception, I decided to give it a chance. My perceptions were confirmed. It _does_ negatively affect the relationship, even if you don't allow it to, one way or another it will since the issues are rooted deeper than the superficial 'removing photos concept'. 

I always take down photos, put things away, throw things out I know I shouldn't hold onto. Why would I hold onto some things when it's time to let it go? Unless I wasn't over the person. In that case, I imagine it'd be pathological to try to move on into a relationship with someone new.


----------



## ientipi (Oct 17, 2013)

Aridela said:


> Deleting is one thing but I would personally set any pictures that are overly romantic to private. You can still see the pictures, they're right there on your feed or your folders but other people can't. Why be inconsiderate when it's that easy?
> 
> Also, if an ex had pictures on me where I was kissing/being romantic with them, I would think that they're still not over me/wouldn't like it.
> 
> I'm not talking about when you've started dating rather when your new relationship is getting serious.


Oh yeah, i was thinking more of instagram because i don't have Facebook. On instagram you can't make certain pictures private and others public so i hadn't considered that option.

I don't think i would think someone wasn't over me just because they kept our pictures up. I'm not the type of person who would do that myself, so i wouldn't consider it.

But also, i don't think it matters much whether someone you were with is over you or not. That's their business and you have your own life to live. I mean hopefully they can get over it and get on w their life, but it wouldn't cause anything but maybe a little anger or pity on my part (depending on how they are expressing the fact that they aren't over me), if i find out and I'm over them. 

Anyways, sorry, tangent. But yeah, if making certain pictures private is an option then I most probably would make those pictures private. And if i hadn't thought to do it and my now current partner expresses - or even hints- at their unease with me having those pictures set to public, then i would make them private right away


----------



## Liriope (Aug 11, 2015)

I don't see how it would automatically signal clinging to past feelings, mainly because not all romantic relationships end on bad terms. Sometimes solid friendships form when people decide they're just not romantically compatible. In that case, I would imagine that suddenly taking down these pictures might look like passive-aggressive ill will to your ex-now-friend.

Really, though, just... ask? If your current partner says they don't like the photos, and you are no longer in contact with your ex, take them down. If you _are_ still in contact with your ex, you can explain to them that your partner is uncomfortable with the pictures.

There's no reason to guess how someone feels if you can just, like, ask them.


----------



## megmento (Jul 26, 2016)

No. I love keeping mementos. I have a former best friend (our friendship ended up rather badly) and I'm still keeping her on my social media account, just hidden on news feed. It's just like the pictures. I don't intend to look back at them very often. I just keep them for the sake of my timehop photos, I always like a gush of nostalgia every once in a while. So no matter how sore my ending with someone was, I'd still keep their pictures. I used to delete them back then though, and I've never felt empty when I realized I have nothing to look back to.

Sent from my SM-E700H using Tapatalk


----------



## There4GoEye (Feb 13, 2015)

And what if they keep up pictures of their ex, but don't put any pictures up of the new bf/gf?

How far can we take this concept before it becomes universally agreed as a problem?


----------



## Marvin the Dendroid (Sep 10, 2015)

I would be upset if my ex had any kind of actual social media account. How could I misjudge them so?
...however none of them do, so I didn't.


----------



## Aridela (Mar 14, 2015)

There4GoEye said:


> And what if they keep up pictures of their ex, but don't put any pictures up of the new bf/gf?
> 
> How far can we take this concept before it becomes universally agreed as a problem?


Couldn't agree more.


----------



## diamond_mouth (May 17, 2014)

*What's your opinion on keeping pictures of your ex online post a breakup? *
I will delete/unfollow ex's as well as delete any photo's on social media accounts because 1.) out of sight out of mind, if you are not in my life I don't need reminders of you on my social media 2.) I don't want these sort of remnants to pose as a topic of discussion or concern with a future SO's, why not avoid it if I can?

*Would you be upset if your current partner kept pictures of their ex online? *
No. But I might wonder.

*Would you expect them to take them down/make them private or is it too much to ask?*
I would avoid asking. However, I would expect them to take the photos down (without me having to ask!!!). 
If it truly bothers you - nothing is ever too much to ask.


----------



## Aridela (Mar 14, 2015)

Liriope said:


> I don't see how it would automatically signal clinging to past feelings, mainly because not all romantic relationships end on bad terms. Sometimes solid friendships form when people decide they're just not romantically compatible. In that case, I would imagine that suddenly taking down these pictures might look like passive-aggressive ill will to your ex-now-friend.
> 
> Really, though, just... ask? If your current partner says they don't like the photos, and you are no longer in contact with your ex, take them down. If you _are_ still in contact with your ex, you can explain to them that your partner is uncomfortable with the pictures.
> 
> There's no reason to guess how someone feels if you can just, like, ask them.


If a past relationship has turned into a friendship you'd still not keep romantic pics on. It would be weird. 

My best friend is a past lover of mine. I'm not the sort to upload romantic pictures anyway, but I would certainly not keep any romantic pictures of us. It would be wrong, as we no longer have this sort of relationship. I also think, It would also be inconsiderate of me to trigger jealousy/uneasiness in my current partner by being negligent or stubborn about it.


----------



## Aridela (Mar 14, 2015)

megmento said:


> No. I love keeping mementos. I have a former best friend (our friendship ended up rather badly) and I'm still keeping her on my social media account, just hidden on news feed. It's just like the pictures. I don't intend to look back at them very often. I just keep them for the sake of my timehop photos, I always like a gush of nostalgia every once in a while. So no matter how sore my ending with someone was, I'd still keep their pictures. I used to delete them back then though, and I've never felt empty when I realized I have nothing to look back to.
> 
> Sent from my SM-E700H using Tapatalk


The key is in the word 'hidden'. 

Keeping in touch is fine, but imo pictures and the such should be set on private.


----------



## Liriope (Aug 11, 2015)

Aridela said:


> If a past relationship has turned into a friendship you'd still not keep romantic pics on. It would be weird.
> 
> My best friend is a past lover of mine. I'm not the sort to upload romantic pictures anyway, but I would certainly not keep any romantic pictures of us. It would be wrong, as we no longer have this sort of relationship. I also think, It would also be inconsiderate of me to trigger jealousy/uneasiness in my current partner by being negligent or stubborn about it.


Oh, I certainly agree it would be weird if the pictures were romantic in nature. I was thinking of more casual photos, though. You and your ex doing a fun conceivably playonic activity together, or a group photo, for example.


----------

