# A short way to find your type ;)



## aconite

Source

Warning: if you're easily offended, hate stereotypes and vulgar jokes, don't proceed further.



> Can't find your dominant function? Well then, take a look at these simple and accurate functional descriptions. Even though they're only a couple of sentences long, you should have no problem at all seeing yourself in them!
> 
> *Ne*: You crash into walls a lot, and cause lots of car accidents. You also stop right in the middle of doorways, hallways, subway entrances, and stairwells in order to socialize, thus blocking everyone else.
> *Se*: You love to beat people up, and you also play football. You are obsessed with power, and constantly threaten to pop a cap in someone's ass. You rape lots of people, and commit felonies every day.
> *Si*: You are really fat, and you lie around and watch TV all day. You have superior fashion sense, and love to fix cars too. You also love to force feed porridge to everyone that enters your house.
> *Ni*: You were born to take it up the ass. You constantly lie on the ground with your legs splayed, waiting for your next rapist to come along. You are also a mall psychic who will read tarot cards for $5.
> *Fe*: YOU TALK LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME, HAAHAHAHAHAHHHHAH LOLOLOL!!!!111  YOU USE LOTS OF ACRONYMS SUCH AS LOL, ROFL, LMAO, TTYL, TEH LULZ, AND MOOOOOOOORE! YOU ARE LOUD AND LIKE TO GO SHOPPING.
> *Te*: You are always dressed in a business suit, and spend your days in a cubicle, or at an endless stream of office meetings. You love to do taxes, laundry, and dishes, because that's what responsible people with character do.
> *Ti*: You make up gazillions of useless systems and rules. Also, you are totally stupid, as you're always factually inaccurate in everything you do. You're the reason why the world sucks so much.
> *Fi*: You're a moralistic prude, and love to beat people with Bibles. You live in a red state, and probably voted for George Bush because of his "family values." You are also really clingy, and hate friendly people.





> Next, it's time for Quadra descriptions. These apply to everyone within the quadra, with zero exceptions.
> 
> *Alpha*: You are in a constant good mood, and always have a fun atmosphere with lots of food and drink. You throw lots of dinner parties where everyone sits at the table with a glass of red wine.
> *Beta*: You make the revolutions, baby! You are a neo-nazi Hitler fanatic, and are always trying to rile people up in order to overthrow the government. You are also very loud and obnoxious, and always making vulgar jokes.
> *Gamma*: You are a moralistic, capitalistic pig, and you are all about bringing home the dinero. You hate fun, groups, and any sort of affection at all. You are very mean and closed-minded.
> *Delta*: You are so boring that everyone else killed themselves. You sit in your workshop, carving wood all day. Then, you get home, work for a few more hours, and go to sleep. Repeat this process daily.
> 
> 
> With this, you should have your type picked out by now. All your problems will be solved once you know your Socionics type, because then you can spot your dual!!! Your dual is like having God constantly at your side, and they will make your life complete. Duality is magical: you will never have to do anything again. Ever!





> Conversations Between Duals
> 
> 
> *ILE/SEI:*
> ILE: I'm a spazzy social cripple who constantly spews out all this awkward bullshit. I also need someone to feed me. Help!
> SEI: Hahahahaha, hi there!!1 I'll give you some of my breastmilk and tell you everything you should say around people, as long as you tell me that I'm smart all the time (even if I'm a dumbfuck)! Sounds good>>!>!>!?!!?!
> ILE: It's a deal! Now dress me in a diaper and I'll get you a chilled beverage. We can have sex with both objects.
> 
> 
> *LII/ESE:*
> LII: I'm a really ugly nerd, and I am completely oblivious to my surroundings. Also, I cry whenever someone tells me that I need to move because I'm blocking their way. What can I do about this particular issue?
> ESE: YOU JUST NEED ME TO TALK TALK TALK TO EVERYONE THAT GETS IN YOUR WAY!!!!!!!!!!! I'LL BORE THEM TO DEATH (LITERALLY) AND THEN YOU'LL BE FREEEEEEEEEEEEE! BUT ONE THING CAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME NOT FREAK OUT AT EVERY LITTLE THING THAT DOESN'T GO TO PLAN?!?!?!?!?!
> LII: Sure, I will help you organize your day so you don't accidentally kill off good people with your boring talk. Cool.
> 
> 
> *SLE/IEI:*
> IEI: I am sitting on this couch, slitting my wrists. I need someone to punish me like the naughty teenager I am. Spank me! I've been bad!
> SLE: Yo muthafucka, SLE's IN DA HOOD YO! Bend ova, bitch, cuz I'm gonna snap a whip on yo ass if you don't BE-HAVE. Oh, and while we're at dis, can you help me restore my rep after I kick everyone's azz? Ho, I need ya to tell me I'm awesome.
> IEI: *slap* Ahhh, harder! *smack* I'll help you after you're done raping me! Don't stop!
> 
> 
> *LSI/EIE:*
> LSI: I get my panties in a bunch if someone breaks a rule. I'm also two-faced, ultra-serious and I have bad character. What can I do to help fix this? I have no Ne, so I can't think of anything.
> EIE: HEY HEY HOOOOOOOO! I CAN JUST BE CHEEERY AND OBNOXIOUS AROUND YOU, AND YOU'LL BE SOO HAPPY AND EVERYTHING WILL BE GOOD!  CAN YOU HELP ME NOT BE STUPID THOUGH? I'M A FEELER, SO I CAN'T THINK. LSI: Haha, thanks! I'll be your walking checkbook, so you don't have to do any thinking at all.
> 
> 
> *SEE/ILI:*
> ILI: Ugh. The world sucks. I hate everyone because they suck. Everyone hates me back. Life sucks. You suck.
> SEE: Hey there, life's not so bad when you're getting laid 8 times a day! Here, how about I help you with that whole virginity thing that you've been angry about for the past 24 years? I'll sleep with anyone, so it's all good!
> ILI: Thank you. I have always wanted to see a set of genitals besides my own, but to no avail. I'll predict what STD everyone has so that you don't get it and pass it to me.
> 
> 
> *ESI/LIE:*
> LIE: Money. Facts. Capitalism. Financial security. Office meetings. Efficiency. More boring corporate shit. Help, I can't relate to people, because no one gives a shit about any of the neat things I listed above.
> ESI: I may be a stone cold bitch on the outside, but I really care about you deep down in the bottom of my icy heart. As long as you continue to get $500k a year, that's all I care about. I will love you unconditionally and never let go.
> LIE: Thanks, I was getting worried there for a second that I'd be alone for the rest of my life. Now I know that someone cares about me, even if they really only care about my paycheck. Nice!
> 
> 
> *IEE/SLI:*
> SLI: I hate life, and I'm considering bringing a weapon to school so I can cause the next Columbine. I will then shoot myself in the head because I'd go to jail for life otherwise.
> IEE: Hey look! A butterfly! It's so preeettty! Oh wait, what was that again? I didn't hear you the first tiiiiime!
> SLI: Heh, you're really funny. I'm not so angry any more. Just for helping me, how about I fix your car for free?
> 
> 
> *EII/LSE:*
> LSE: Although I am such a manly caretaker, I can't make brownies by myself. Hey, oh feminine EII, can you make me some brownies? Because that's all you're good for: being girly and making brownies.
> EII: Yes, I will make you brownies. Since you are my masculine provider, I feel the need to service you like a good wife should. I'll also help you get over your fear of being less than an hour early to your next office meeting.
> LSE: Why thank you, ma'am. I'll be sure to bring you some empty cash so you can get to the kitchen and make me more brownies.


Some of these are only moderately funny, although I laughed out loud when I read the Te and Fi descripions and the conversation between EII and LSE


----------



## kaleidoscope

> IEI: I am sitting on this couch, slitting my wrists. I need someone to punish me like the naughty teenager I am. Spank me! I've been bad!





> IEI: *slap* Ahhh, harder! *smack* I'll help you after you're done raping me! Don't stop!


LMFAO.

:kitteh:


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## anon

Lol what the hell


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## RepairmanMan Man

*



Ne: You crash into walls a lot, and cause lots of car accidents. You also stop right in the middle of doorways, hallways, subway entrances, and stairwells in order to socialize, thus blocking everyone else.

Click to expand...

I fricken hate assholes who do this. But yes. I do it too. AND I crash into walls and have been responsible for car accidents!





Ti: You make up gazillions of useless systems and rules. Also, you are totally stupid, as you're always factually inaccurate in everything you do. You're the reason why the world sucks so much.


Click to expand...

It's a toss-up between these two.*


----------



## Choice

Ne: You crash into walls a lot, and cause lots of car accidents. You also stop right in the middle of doorways, hallways, subway entrances, and stairwells in order to socialize, thus blocking everyone else.


That's exactly me minus the car accidents! ....Well I got my foot ran over once, and it went totally numb for about 5 minutes.


Se: You love to beat people up, and you also play football. You are obsessed with power, and constantly threaten to pop a cap in someone's ass. You rape lots of people, and commit felonies every day.

If we take away the football part, it sounds like a wet dream.


Ti: You make up gazillions of useless systems and rules. Also, you are totally stupid, as you're always factually inaccurate in everything you do. You're the reason why the world sucks so much.

No contest.
http://www.tf2sounds.com/519
-


edit:


holyrockthrower said:


> *
> 
> AND I crash into walls and have been responsible for car accidents!*


but how?


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## DomNapoleon

> *SLE/IEI:
> IEI: I am sitting on this couch, slitting my wrists. I need someone to punish me like the naughty teenager I am. Spank me! I've been bad!
> SLE: Yo muthafucka, SLE's IN DA HOOD YO! Bend ova, bitch, cuz I'm gonna snap a whip on yo ass if you don't BE-HAVE. Oh, and while we're at dis, can you help me restore my rep after I kick everyone's azz? Ho, I need ya to tell me I'm awesome.
> IEI: *slap* Ahhh, harder! *smack* I'll help you after you're done raping me! Don't stop!*


Oh ma Gawd! 
*Smack, smack, sugar smack... give me a smack and i'll smack you back'


----------



## Tater Tot

> *Fe: YOU TALK LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME, HAAHAHAHAHAHHHHAH LOLOLOL!!!!111  YOU USE LOTS OF ACRONYMS SUCH AS LOL, ROFL, LMAO, TTYL, TEH LULZ, AND MOOOOOOOORE! YOU ARE LOUD AND LIKE TO GO SHOPPING.*


DYINGG.



> *Beta: You make the revolutions, baby! You are a neo-nazi Hitler fanatic, and are always trying to rile people up in order to overthrow the government. You are also very loud and obnoxious, and always making vulgar jokes.*





> _EIE: HEY HEY HOOOOOOOO! I CAN JUST BE CHEEERY AND OBNOXIOUS AROUND YOU, AND YOU'LL BE SOO HAPPY AND EVERYTHING WILL BE GOOD!  CAN YOU HELP ME NOT BE STUPID THOUGH? I'M A FEELER, SO I CAN'T THINK._


:laughing: this is why I love generalizing


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## Zero11

I would also add this as a short way to find your type.



> *Abridged Guide to Socionics Types*
> 
> In Russian: Ñîöèîíè÷åñêèé ñëîâàðèê Ôóíòèêà - Ñîöèîíèêà, ïñèõå-éîãà (ïñèõîñîôèÿ), òèïîëîãèÿ íåëþäåé, ÒÓÀÈ (òåîðèÿ óðîâíåé àáñòðàêòíîãî èíòåëëåêòà), ÐÑÈ (ðåæèññóðà ñîöèàëüíûõ èãð), Íîâîå Ñëîâî, ÌËÀÈ â öåíòðå ðåàáèëèòàöèè æåðòâ ïñèõîëîãè÷åñêèõ òèïîëîãèé
> These profiles were written and compiled by Funtik, a member of Russian socionics online community, for the purposes of humor and to informally characterize particular traits of types.
> 
> *Balzac (Bal', Bal'ka, ILI, INTp)*
> 
> Lazy autistic cynics, dwelling alone in their dismal hovels and earning a living by stock market speculations. Always stooping their shoulders and washing their hands. Fairly common type in virtual space.
> 
> Their duals (Napoleons), and some other part of the socionics community, adore them fom their charming coldness, for how they are pusi, paws, for the seriousness with which they present their ideas, how funny and cute they are when angry, or when they get poked on the side. The rest are aggravated by their tortoiselike retardation, their boring, inhibited tediousness, and how they pretend to know everything in the world. This impression they manage to convey even in virtual space.
> 
> On many socionic forums, there is the cult of Balzac that gets promoted not without the help of their duals, in which they painted as the crown of creation, and so on and so forth with many pretentious phrases. Balzac deny this themselves, of course, and in victim-like fashion tell others what terrible people they really are.
> 
> Warning: sometimes men who consider themselves Balzacs are actually disguised Esenins (IEIs) or Dumas (SEIs) who really want to be a logical type.
> 
> 
> *Napoleon (Nap, Napka, SEE, ESFp)*
> 
> Absolutely uncontrollable giant creatures of dim-witted punching force. Constantly trying to prove to everyone else that they are cooler, smarter, have larger salaries, and that, all in all, their member is longer and thicker.
> 
> In virtual space, this type is represented mainly by the female sex. Part of this effect is due to the fact that Napoleon men almost always type themselves into Zhukovs (SLEs).
> 
> Part of socionic community (in which one may occasionally find their duals - Balzacs) treats them with admiration for their ability to get out and pull anyone else out of any crappy situation, and for their absolutely unwavering and constant optimism and readiness to act.
> 
> The rest they manage to provoke with their self-aggrandizing stupidity, inescapable desire to make themselves a cog in each barrel without vaseline, impositions on everyone of their exclusive knowledge of life, and never fading demonstrations of own superiority.
> 
> The forums Napoleons in equal proportions belaud their duals Balzacs and ask advice on how to deal with their horridness. And when opportunity presents itself, they will gladly attempt to demonstrate their sharp wit and their deep knowledge of life.
> 
> 
> *Stirlitz (Styria, Shtirka, LSE, ESTj)*
> 
> Always busy, constantly preoccupied with something people. Indefatigable and focused, leaving an impression that they have set out to re-do everything in this world before 6:00pm this evening. Wherever and by whomever they are employed, their working and free hours are always crammed with things to do, like traveling suitcases of a teenage girl going on a vacation are crammed with clothing. Refresher courses to raise qualification, for which they argumentatively hype up their bosses at least once every six months, courses entailing decorative woodcarving of chairs and creative peeling of vegetables, design of plumbing pipes, plus constant self-development and self-improvement. One must also purchase all the groceries by the weekend, and, of course, get together with friends every week, for example, on Wednesdays at 7 pm, in addition to family birthdays, anniversaries, birthdays, reunions, the 8th of March, the 1st of May, since nobody else is able to organize everything so that there are enough provisions, everyone is happy, so it all begins on time and ends on time, too, others will for sure leave something unfinished, mixed up, or manage to forget. And all of this combined with constant urgency at work, though they seem to have started on it before everyone else, and are not lazy, but with all these finishing touches and retouches ...
> 
> Needless to say, that with such a busy schedule, Shtirlitz as a rule doesn't have time to spend on the internet. That is, to deliver reports on work done and skills acquired it still ok, but to sit all day on forums and talk about abstractions - not for them. Therefore, in the virtual space there are extremely few Shtirlitz of both sexes, and those that are present are either not Shtirlitz, or are very unconventional and completely atypical Shtirletz, and to construct an idea of ​​this type on basis of these people is not recommended.
> 
> Their duals, Dostoevskies, and, to a slightly less pronounced degree, their activators Huxleys, value and respect them for their commitment, reliability, straightforwardness, inexhaustible enthusiasm for making money and managing their homes, for their self-confidence, and finally, that they always have what you may need for all occasions. Remember the story about the fisherman who took with him on a fishing trip all kinds of supplies, including boots, a blanket, and a dog to guard it all? Such prudence cannot but impress! (Although this story is certainly not about Shtirlitz, because in this story the fisher's boat sank, and Shtirlitz would have definitely provided a reliable roomy boat that could hold everything in it without sinking. Actually Shtirlitz wouldn't have gone fishing in the first place, because look at how much work is still not done, there is no time to dilly-dally with a fishing rod and dully wait for anything to catch on to the hook.)
> 
> Shtirlitz annoy others by their constant busywork, into which they try to plug in all those who have fallen into their hands, because they can only be stopped if they are shot in the ass with a dart containing a horse dose of sleeping medication. To stand in the way of their activities is unquestionably dangerous because they ... no, they won't destroy you ... they will make you work. Well, the most certainly horrible thing are their repairs - they have always something to glue, to reposition, to repaint, and demand active participation of everyone in the house. A little that saves this situation is that before the next acute phase of repairs, they carefully and with great pleasure plan and minimize the costs to be incurred. Only in this phase they almost harmless to others.
> 
> On the forums, Shtirlitz, who for whatever reason are ready to sacrifice some part of their precious time to devote it to the Internet, mostly rehearse and grind in all tediousness with Dreisers and Dostoyevkies such vital issues as whether sex is permissible before marriage, how to increase the percentage of partners who are loyal to each other to the grave in the population, and so on, in the same spirit. Since these conversations few can master without falling asleep and plummeting off their chair, the specifics of these discussions are known only to Shtirlitz, Dreisers, and Dostoevskies. Sometimes Shtirlets abruptly mobilize, usually this happens when someone tries to type some scoundrel into their quadra, and for a long time with persistence they prove to the unfortunate typist how wrong he was in the first place. But this rarely occurs. So on the Internet, Stirlitz, unable to make everyone help him glue the wallpaper, is a very peaceful and safe creature.. that is of course if he is not the admin of the forum.
> 
> Stirlitz have a unique ability being dressed in white pants and canvas shoes, to overcome a couple of miles of mud and shit rains to not get a single spot on them.
> 
> 
> *Dostoevsky (Dost, Dos'ka, Dostochka, EII, INFj)*
> 
> Incredibly polite adherents of world peace, with eyes full of unexplainable sorrow for all the lost mankind.
> 
> In virtual space, Dosts are found in considerable quantities and equally among both sexes.
> 
> Representatives of socionic community begin making declarations of their passionate love for Dostoevskies exactly after they run them over several times, and suddenly catch on themselves (or simply imagine) the suffering-reproachful look that is as if saying "come-on-people-are-you-not-people" of one of the representatives of this type. Then offenders feel very ashamed and suddenly break out in a lush choir of praises directed at Dostoevskies.
> 
> Thus, Dostoevskies are loved and appreciated for their kindness and impenetrable, even with a hammer on the fingers, good manners, infinite understanding and forgiveness, acceptance of all things, readiness at any moment to provide moral support, as well as for the fact that if you ask them for something, they will not sleep, and aim to do their best. How they manage to frustrate others is because their good breeding seems like coy ass-kissery, their goodwill is completely offset by the fact that it is extended the same in response to both an outstretched hand and to a spit on the face, of the fact that their words seem to be forgiving, but they, as it turns out, did not forget and will nurture their hurt for years. If they did you a favor they will in great detail explain to you how they have not slept or eaten, how they have suffered, and will demonstrate all the places of their suffering, such that you will feel yourself a monster and swear to never in your lifetime ask of any favors of this remarkable, wonderful person. As well as their habit to shift quite feasible for them problems on the shoulders of others, putting these others before an agonizing choice: die right now, on the spot, from shame, that you are refusing such a small favor to such a kind person, or to try and fill their request whatever it costs you. And, of course - their inhumane habit for three hours to move in circles and zigzags not approaching the heart of the matter, falling into extreme ornateness, and asking periodically, if they have allowed themselves too much, have they caused any strain or discomfort, while categorically refusing to answer directly - what is it that in fact that they want?!
> 
> On forums Dostoevsky usually wait until everyone shits themselves, to make their appearance at the most heated time, when people at the point of not listening to any reason are gnawing at each others fists from anguish, regretting that this is transpiring only virtually - and begin to reconcile all, and give recommendations on how to easily just accept the depressing fact that the world is not wholesome. What is most surprising is that their speeches do, in fact, have a huge conciliatory effect - the debaters suddenly forget their quarrels and hurts so as to unite together and jointly explain to Dostoevskies that they out of place, and in the wrong time, and therefore where they should go, away from here.
> 
> Warning: Sometimes Dostoevsky is actually Dons or Robs (ILEs or LIIs) who reasoned about the topics of morality / immorality too categorically, such that it has produced an unforgettable effect on anyone attempting to type them and affected their ability to think clearly.
> 
> 
> *Esenin (Es', Esia, IEI, INFp)*
> 
> Absolutely airy beings who consistently produce the impression that at any moment they will break under the pressure of life's demands. But in fact, Esenin is more tenacious than a stray cat.
> 
> In virtual space there are many Esenins of both male and female gender. However, Esenin men often type themselves as Balzacs (ILIs), and sincerely believe in it for a long, long time, which blurs the picture somewhat. Young male Esenins are often enthusiastic youths, who are either showing off their fatigue at this monotonous, insipid life, or touchingly try to depict themselves as brutal machos, who, right now, on the spot, are ready for the lady of their heart to climb to the 12th floor using teeth only, with their hands contemptuously folded behind their backs. Female Esenin is usually a 35-40 years old lady, who upon completing her wanderings on this earth halfway suddenly realizes that the man she is with turns out to be Stirlitz, and therein lies the cause of _all_ her troubles. However, not all is not lost - at the same somewhere wanders her restless dual Zhukov, stern and silent, and he has everything, but just doesn't know how to relax.
> 
> Part of socionics community (consisting not only of Esenin duals) admire Esenins for the elegance of their inner world, for their charming, exquisitely flexible soul, for their imaginativeness, eminence, and finally, that none but them can feel such deep and sincere gratitude for help in the most insignificant problems, and so gently and tenderly express this gratitude. The rest, except all of the above, do not like Eseys for their failure to adapt to life's demands, for their propensity to climb and sit with their feet and all their problems on someone else's neck, for their thinly veiled incitements to aggression and provocations to mayhem and shit-storms in general, as well as the inimitable ability to let out a river of tears and mucus in response to the mildest criticism of their work, and indeed, any activity.
> 
> Esenins on the forums are mostly concerned with describing their small life troubles in language worthy of the greatest poets, with persistent exhibitionism exposing their beautiful inner world, and just gossiping.
> 
> 
> *Don Quixote (Don, Donka, ILE, ENTp)*
> 
> Incredibly touchy individuals, prone to social phobia. Live in an impenetrable mess, dress in tattered clothing, always bump into corners and fall into open manholes. Eat whatever they are given, or sandwiches. Virtual space is just teeming with them, equally distributed between both sexes.
> 
> Some part of socionic community (mainly their duals (activators)-neophytes who have failed to fully realize what a blessing socionics predicts for them, and some socionics mothers, who have managed to type their children as Dons) love Dons for their detachment from the material world, imperviously idealistic views of the world, and constant willingness to enter into an unequal battle with forces of evil. And also because they seem unbelievably clever, as they say a lot of unintelligible words, the total essence of which is unclear and mysterious.
> 
> For the rest Dons manage to be terribly annoying. With their infantile capriciousness, the sacred belief that they should be loved and cherished as they are, that others should telepathically guess and fulfill their innermost desires, and their long grudges that accompany any failure to fulfill these desires. As well as their aggressive propaganda of torn clothing, sandwiches, and low-paid quasi-scientific work as the only acceptable ways of life.
> 
> Dons in the forums usually breed endless pseudo-scientific debates around socionics, dully theorize at every opportune and inopportune moment, try to "glue" their duals (Dyumov) solely for being their type, and complain about the endless insoluble problems brought about by their typical asocial tendencies. When the representatives of socionic community (mainly SEEs) begin to give them advice on solving these problems, they grow indignant and pose as misunderstood heroes.
> 
> Warning: male Dons may in fact be a Huxley (IEE) or Hamlet (EIE). Sometimes the Dosts (EIIs) type themselves as Dons, who somehow find type of Dostoevsky unworthy and evil in general.
> 
> Don females firmly believe that all men want them.
> 
> 
> *Dumas (Dyum, Dyumka, SEI, ISFp)*
> 
> Since in the virtual space there are very few Dumas, and those that are present are typed anywhere else but not as Dyumy, their integral prototype in socionic community is in part based on descriptions and profiles, and in part - on the idealized representations of Dons of their second half, which thoroughly confuses beginners. Ideal Dumas, in a vacuum, is a soft creature in both its character and its form, it radiates unobtrusive positivism, constantly or temporarily decorating its dwelling with vases, napkins, and curtains, or stirring something very appetizing in the saucepan. It has infinite love for Dons in all their appearances, which manifests as always having an ear for Don's talkativeness and prolixity, and in attempts to fill Don with food other than sandwiches.
> 
> In fact, Dyumy are rather gloomy people, who are inclined to see the worst in any manifestations of this world, and do not consider it necessary to conceal this.
> 
> Accordingly, part of the socionic community, consisting of Dons who have not yet grown disappointed by their fate, (and partially of Robs, LIIs) dearly love Dumas for their relentless desire to feed, warm, caress, understand, and uplift, and also for their willingness demonstrate at any time all the charms of sensory sex. Others cannot stand Dumas' for their tendency to maintain completely empty, meaningless, humdrum conversations, which constant teeth-grinding whining and complaints about the heartbreaking cruelty and evil of the cursed world. As well as their enthusiasm to shamelessly comment on appearance, clothing, interior design, and any unsavory to them food.
> 
> Caution: Often Dreisers (ESIs) who are not sufficiently spiteful and brutal get typed into Dumas, to make them fit into the stereotypes. Dumas males often type themselves into Balzacs (ILIs) and Gabins (SLIs).
> 
> 
> *Hugo (Hugues, ESE, ESFj)*
> 
> Gushing with pointless enthusiasm elektro-sweepers. On socionics forums they use 70% of all smilies, 80% of all diminutive endings, and 90% of all non-cursing interjections.
> 
> In cyberspace there is a considerable amount of Hugo women, but Hugo men can be counted on fingers. And even then, they do not look like Hugos or not like men.
> 
> Their duals, and some activators, and even possibly a small part of the socionics community, get off on Hugo's inexhaustible merriness, their constant readiness to organize a celebration, for all their "syusi-paws-hunny-sweety-how-well-I-want-to-feed-you-all", for their regular bursts of "but-I-Love-all-of-you-even-the-gloomy-looking-guy-in-the-corner-come-here-have-fun-with-us", for their indefatigable, indomitable spirit, and the their inimitable ability to pick positives from every situation like raisins from a roll.
> 
> Needless to say, that it is exactly with all of the above, the rest of the socionics community Hugos strain very much. As well as unstoppable babble, their sweet and rosy-in-the-frills snot, and their ineradicable desire to, from time to time, obtain from each and every one a detailed, but pointless, explanations of the obvious. And, of course, that Hugos simply by their nature attract all kinds of disasters and calamities, and, because of this, you cannot agree with them to anything - as in the last moment there is going to be a meteor rain, an earthquake, the earth will get captured by aliens.. in general, it's not important what concretely will happen, but be assured - all plans will be made moot.
> 
> On forums, Hugos usually exert themselves, with all their force and energy, to bring the real world into the virtual world - with gusto describe buns, salads, dumplings, and try to organize masquerade balls for virtually every occasion, and, of course, frantically try to make everyone come and hang out together in the real world.
> 
> Practically non-existent male Hugos, among other things, on the sly advance the theory of gender equality in the sense that it would be nice for women to finally realize that there are such wonderful men who prefer unbearably tiresome and heavy household chores to light and breezy work activities. Which everyone, and especially Naps (SEEs), finds terribly annoying.
> 
> 
> *Robespierre (Rob, Robka, LII, INTj)*
> 
> Gloomy creatures with an intense (sometimes simply insane) look and a picture of a perfect world in their heads, onto which they try to superimpose the reality. Male Robs usually wear a mustache with a goal of distancing themselves from the outside world.
> 
> In virtual space Robespierres are represented mostly by the male sex. Perhaps because women rarely type themselves into this grotesquely-logical type.
> 
> Part socionic community, mainly consisting of their enthusiastic female duals Hugos (Hugo men, as we recall, in socionic community are almost nonexistent), admire Robs for their ability to deconstruct and put into strictly hierarchical shelves any very intricate theory, to explain on their fingers the most complex idea, while managing to avoid calling their conversation partner an idiot, not even hint at it, as well as for their impenetrable idealism, and fascinating ability to adamantly head, through a thorny path, towards some absolutely unattainable goal.
> 
> The rest (and yes, especially Naps) downright can not stand Robespierres for their boring fundamentalism, perfectly founded in theory greed, absolute deafness to attempts to open their eyes to the real situation in the real world, and their stubborn unwillingness to recognize themselves as losers despite the obvious facts.
> 
> Robs, on the forums, usually in vain, call for theorizing on quasi-socionical topics (their twisted theories are not digestible even by Dons), complain about the lack of interest in them from the opposite sex, and encourage the public to embark on journey to the Ideal World.
> 
> 
> *Huxley (Hek, Hechka, IEE)*
> 
> Never despondent, terribly curious creatures that strive to get involved in everything. Most of all they love to talk. Their speech resembles the ravings of a schizophrenic man - it is fast, without stammering, but at all time it is impossible to escape the feeling that it is simply a word salad, an incoherent jumble of words, and in extreme cases - of phrases, as much as they are not correlated with each other, and as much as they do not follow from anything. They work usually in the social sphere, but, in principle, it is not necessary.
> 
> In virtual space they are mostly represented by the female gender, and the few male Heks often demonstrate a variety of, but always strange kinds of consciousness, that casts a shadow over this worthy type. Statistics are strongly distorted by the fact that many of Huxley, and, in particular, men of this type, desperately want to be a logical type, and therefore love to type as Dons (ILEs), Gabins (SLIs) and other logics.
> 
> Their duals Gabens, as well as Balzacs and Stirlitz, sympathize with Huxleys for their easy temperament, always positive attitude and enthusiasm, readiness at any moment to listen, understand, support, comfort, to give useful advice, their keen interest in everything and everyone around them, and also for the fact that Huxley is ready to listen to them, chin supported by a pen, thinking about where and how to save a ruble, and even occasionally nods in a serious manner.
> 
> The rest strongly dislike Huxleys for their intolerable affectation, for their pretended sympathy and empathy, for the extreme variability and suspicious turbidity of their views and attitudes, for their persistence and pedantry. And especially they are disliked for their attempts to penetrate into the soul, then poke without a twinge of conscience in the most sacred corners, and to any objections of the owner of this soul reply in understanding voice:
> - Oh! I see that I touched a nerve.
> And continue digging in that direction with twice the zeal. And digging a plenty, with words "I-know-where-your-problem-is", they try to advise to the subject of their experiments something completely radical and leftist, of course with recommendations how to address and relate to it.
> 
> On the forums, besides providing free psychological help and counseling to all those who asked for it and didn't ask for it, Huxley theorize on philosophical, socionical, and other abstract topics. At the same time, they write just as they speak - productively, copiously, but disjointly, without assumptions, without findings, without beginnings or endings, and even without paragraphs. Reading this, and even more so - penetrating into these funky in form and in content textual pieces can be done only out of great sympathy for them. If you succeed, be assured - Huxley won't be stingy for the reward, and in a short time will roll the next opus. Enjoy.
> 
> 
> *Dreiser (Drai, Draika, Draizerka, ESI, ISFj)*
> 
> Integral image of these creatures is, unfortunately, based to greater extent on descriptions provided by Dons (and Robs) of their nightmarish moms who directively demand to establish order in the room, constantly nag about small details of behavior, and collapse if their child is late for five minutes lingering somewhere beyond the statutory time or doesn't call, and, of course, at any opportunity they begin to moralize and read their heartfelt lectures about people relations. Their image is also partly based on descriptions of Zhukovs, who, for some reason, frequently confuse Dreisers for their duals Esenins and marry them, and later ... Then their stories become blurry and obscured, but by the selection of terms they use to describe the situation, one may guess that for Zhukov this is a very frustrating turn of events.
> 
> As a result, the image formed of Dreisers is very specific. And those who have dared to type themselves into this type others will constantly try to re-type into something else, arguing their insistence with words "No, you just cannot be like this ..."
> 
> In virtual space Dreisers are infrequent, but there are sill a few here and there, and of both sexes. It is possible that there would have been more of them if they didn't get typed into other types.
> 
> Some part of socionic community respects and appreciates Dreisers for their morality, their honesty and integrity, for their willingness to support their loved ones, as well as the ability to maintain the world around them pristinely clean.
> 
> Others do not like Dreisers for their amorality, hypocrisy, for their willingness to chew through someone's throat for the sake of some people whom they consider as friends, and for their boundless paranoia, in framework of which Dreisers in each stranger suspect an enemy, in every field mushroom - a poison, and in each millimeter of space - trillions of plague and cholera bacilli, ready at any moment to take over their body.
> 
> On forums, Dreisers mostly discuss household and relational problems and come up with solutions. Especially advanced ones quietly rejoice at the fact that Dreisers are considered to be socionics evil and scare novices with themselves.
> 
> Women Dreiser are considered by men of many types to be an ideal of brutal sexuality, and are associated with black leather whip and perfectly straight seams on stockings.
> 
> 
> *Hamlet (Ham, Hamka, EIE, ENFj)*
> 
> Always ready for an emotional discharge and a barrage of shocking behaviors and expressions. Dress up in an incredible combination of colors and styles of clothing, some things look as if they were found in garbage and washed. However, in any of their appearances there is always present, albeit hidden, and understandable only to the Hamlet - Meaning. Contrary to popular stereotype, they work everywhere and anywhere but the theater.
> 
> The virtual space is inhabited by many Hamlets of both sexes, but they are typed as Hamlets very rarely. Remember - any type upon verification can be revealed to be a Hamlet. Furthermore, in presentation of this type Hamlets are so convincing, that it is difficult to understand who is who. The easiest way to recognize a Hamlet is by frequency with which he re-types himself. If a person is today Huxley tomorrow Dreiser, and the day after Zhukov, and if every time there are people who honestly believe in it, and, almost foaming at the mouth, try to prove the correctness of the latest typing - with 99% confidence we can say - before you is Hamlet. However, sometimes Hamlets choose their favorite type, and keep holding on to it with all their arms and legs. These Hamlets can be revealed only over time, with close personal interaction.
> 
> And if someone types himself into Hamlet, then, with 99% probability it can be said that this is a real Hamlet, just a resigned one, imbued with his or her own fate. For in socionics community this type is considered to be (and, in my opinion, quite unjustly) the very apex of socionics fall, and nobody, except resigned Hamlets, could be dragged or lured into it.
> 
> Some of the socionic community, mainly consisting of their duals, Maxims, admire Hamlets for their incredibly beautiful, like a moon at a cemetery, dark, tragic pose of life, and for their ability to richly and with feeling re-tell the most prosaic events, such as - a trip for booze to the nearest store or arrival of package in mail, that the entire spectrum of emotions, from subtly allaying hopefulness to "please-stop-this-is-frightening", is readily available to the listener. As well as guaranteed non-interference in another's inner world, as Hamlets are so thoroughly and consistently taken by themselves and preoccupied by their own experiences, that no energy remains for them to try to delve into the soulful matters of others.
> 
> Hamlets are not liked in socionics community for their cowardly rudeness, for their intrigues and scandalous nature, for their thoroughly ingrained habit to achieve what they want either through hysterics or through depicting themselves as dying swans, and then again with hysterics, and also that all their minute problems they inflate to catastrophes of universal proportions, and find in these disasters the cause for their endless pathos of suffering. Finally, Hamlets are categorically unable to take responsibility for anything happening in their lives onto their shoulders, there is always someone else to blame for everything. And, believe me, accusations and demonstrations in the manner of: "Look what you did to me and my life!" will be enough to last the perpetrator his whole existence.
> 
> On forums, Hamlets are usually interested in typing. Once typed, they try to maximize their correspondence to the supposed type. Those rare Hamlets who have already been typed into Hamlet, either with maniacal persistence move mass values of Beta quadra (quadra to which they belong), or with tragedy in every letter describe and discuss all their sorrows and troubles, such that after reading it for a long time the rasping sound of strained nerves will ring in your ears.
> 
> Young male Hamlets often try to "glue" girls by their ability to feel deeply and strongly, and by their weary contemptuous views of this bitter hateful world. And in that, as a rule, they succeed.


Source: Socionics - the16types.info - Abridged Guide to Socionics Types


----------



## Lotan

> *Te*: You are always dressed in a business suit, and spend your days in a cubicle, or at an endless stream of office meetings. You love to do taxes, laundry, and dishes, because that's what responsible people with character do.


You mean I love to make other people do taxes, laundry, and dishes because that's what I hired responsible people with character to do. :crazy:


----------



## Flatlander

aconite said:


> *SEE/ILI:*
> ILI: Ugh. The world sucks. I hate everyone because they suck. Everyone hates me back. Life sucks. You suck.
> SEE: Hey there, life's not so bad when you're getting laid 8 times a day! Here, how about I help you with that whole virginity thing that you've been angry about for the past 24 years? I'll sleep with anyone, so it's all good!
> ILI: Thank you. I have always wanted to see a set of genitals besides my own, but to no avail. I'll predict what STD everyone has so that you don't get it and pass it to me.


Testing new smiley:








I LOL'ed.


----------



## mushr00m

> Fi: You're a moralistic prude, and love to beat people with Bibles. You live in a red state, and probably voted for George Bush because of his "family values." You are also really clingy, *and hate friendly people.*


Haha, this actually happened today, I wanted to punch the OTT laughter out from their voice sockets :laughing:


----------



## RepairmanMan Man

Almost said:


> but how?


Well, I'm just that uncoordinated that I misjudge physical space and hit the gas instead of the break.

LOL.


----------



## Promethea

-_-


----------



## cyamitide

Quadra romance, bablefish translation:


*Alfiyskaya* romance - you're sitting in the kitchen with candles (and it does not matter that this is because of the fact that some dastardly bastards cut electricity, and also demand money), and a lively debate about something deeply philosophical and science. He listens to you, with enthusiastically opened mouth, and in your mouth, as soon as it opens, he cleverly throws pieces of various delicacies, which literally overfill the table. When the meal is over, you're inspired, go home, and he goes to bed, deeply resentful of the fact that that again nothing more happened.

*Betan* romance. While flying on a private jet from Nice to the Canary Islands you are attacked by street hooligans, and he, slowing down the aircraft, from his very soul beat up all twenty-five of them, so that they were still lying on the battlefield. Then, right there, knocking you to the fuselage, he roughly seized you, despite your desperate resistance. Then you turned the other side and repeat the process, regardless of your superhuman resistance. And all this - after 15 years of marriage. 

*Gammiyskaya* romance. You throw long glances towards this sole remaining unmarried colleague, but that bastard as if does not notice all these signs of your attention, and all this time was exclusively busy with his work. But this only fuels your enthusiasm. Finally, in one of the corporate parties, you suddenly have to drink it to the point that it all happened right on director's executive desk. The next day, even when the director called and demanded an explanation of all who so abused his desk, he acted as if nothing had happened, either did not remember, or was too shy, or did not attach any importance. But now it only further fuels your enthusiasm. 

There is also *deltiyskaya* romance. This is when he polishes your toilet so that it shines, washes the dishes and floors, whitewashed ceiling, wired your outhouse with electricity, and left, leaving a business card with the inscription: "John. Household work for a modest fee. Around the clock."


----------



## suicidal_orange

This thread failed. I'm probably a Ti Delta but that doesn't help me find a type. Perhaps you're supposed to know Socionics before reading it...


----------



## LibertyPrime

> ESI/LIE:
> LIE: Money. Facts. Capitalism. Financial security. Office meetings. Efficiency. More boring corporate shit. Help, I can't relate to people, because no one gives a shit about any of the neat things I listed above.
> ESI: I may be a stone cold bitch on the outside, but I really care about you deep down in the bottom of my icy heart. As long as you continue to get $500k a year, that's all I care about. I will love you unconditionally and never let go.
> LIE: Thanks, I was getting worried there for a second that I'd be alone for the rest of my life. Now I know that someone cares about me, even if they really only care about my paycheck. Nice!


XDDDDDDDDDD LMAO!
^^ ahh this was soo refresing! <.< thou I seriously HATE people who are like that....its super freaking boring and they have my grandmother's personality traits...I hate her guts, especially when I'm pretending I don't want to murder her every living nanosecond.


----------



## Inveniet

So as soon as I find my dual, I can have sex with diapers and chilled beverages!
Can't wait! =D


----------



## Thalassa

I can't figure out if I'm more Alpha or Beta. But if I was Beta I'd be INFp instead of ISFp. 

I'm kind of amused by the SEI feeding of the ILE if he tells me I'm smart all of the time (even if I'm a dumbfuck). 

This is suspiciously astute.


----------



## WOLFsanctuary

This is actually the "scenic route" to find out your type...LOL!

TMI ;-)

By 4w3 SX/SP


----------



## Thalassa

cyamitide said:


> Quadra romance, bablefish translation:
> 
> 
> *Alfiyskaya* romance - you're sitting in the kitchen with candles (and it does not matter that this is because of the fact that some dastardly bastards cut electricity, and also demand money), and a lively debate about something deeply philosophical and science. He listens to you, with enthusiastically opened mouth, and in your mouth, as soon as it opens, he cleverly throws pieces of various delicacies, which literally overfill the table. When the meal is over, you're inspired, go home, and he goes to bed, deeply resentful of the fact that that again nothing more happened.
> 
> *Betan* romance. While flying on a private jet from Nice to the Canary Islands you are attacked by street hooligans, and he, slowing down the aircraft, from his very soul beat up all twenty-five of them, so that they were still lying on the battlefield. Then, right there, knocking you to the fuselage, he roughly seized you, despite your desperate resistance. Then you turned the other side and repeat the process, regardless of your superhuman resistance. And all this - after 15 years of marriage.
> 
> *Gammiyskaya* romance. You throw long glances towards this sole remaining unmarried colleague, but that bastard as if does not notice all these signs of your attention, and all this time was exclusively busy with his work. But this only fuels your enthusiasm. Finally, in one of the corporate parties, you suddenly have to drink it to the point that it all happened right on director's executive desk. The next day, even when the director called and demanded an explanation of all who so abused his desk, he acted as if nothing had happened, either did not remember, or was too shy, or did not attach any importance. But now it only further fuels your enthusiasm.
> 
> There is also *deltiyskaya* romance. This is when he polishes your toilet so that it shines, washes the dishes and floors, whitewashed ceiling, wired your outhouse with electricity, and left, leaving a business card with the inscription: "John. Household work for a modest fee. Around the clock."


Oh, nevermind. I'm a Gamma.


----------



## Thalassa

Zero11 said:


> I would also add this as a short way to find your type.
> 
> 
> 
> Source: Socionics - the16types.info - Abridged Guide to Socionics Types


ROFL!!! Another vote for Gamma...SEE



> *Napoleon (Nap, Napka, SEE, ESFp)
> 
> Absolutely uncontrollable giant creatures of dim-witted punching force. Constantly trying to prove to everyone else that they are cooler, smarter, have larger salaries, and that, all in all, their member is longer and thicker.
> 
> In virtual space, this type is represented mainly by the female sex. Part of this effect is due to the fact that Napoleon men almost always type themselves into Zhukovs (SLEs).
> 
> Part of socionic community (in which one may occasionally find their duals - Balzacs) treats them with admiration for their ability to get out and pull anyone else out of any crappy situation, and for their absolutely unwavering and constant optimism and readiness to act.
> 
> The rest they manage to provoke with their self-aggrandizing stupidity, inescapable desire to make themselves a cog in each barrel without vaseline, impositions on everyone of their exclusive knowledge of life, and never fading demonstrations of own superiority.
> 
> The forums Napoleons in equal proportions belaud their duals Balzacs and ask advice on how to deal with their horridness. And when opportunity presents itself, they will gladly attempt to demonstrate their sharp wit and their deep knowledge of life.
> *


Oh noooo it's my forum presence.....LOLLERSKATES.


----------



## jiau

i am confused.


----------



## marckos

> Don Quixote (Don, Donka, ILE, ENTp)
> 
> *Incredibly touchy individuals, prone to social phobia. Live in an impenetrable mess, dress in tattered clothing, always bump into corners and fall into open manholes. Eat whatever they are given, or sandwiches. Virtual space is just teeming with them, equally distributed between both sexes.*
> 
> Some part of socionic community (mainly their duals (activators)-neophytes who have failed to fully realize what a blessing socionics predicts for them, and some socionics mothers, who have managed to type their children as Dons) love Dons for their *detachment from the material world, imperviously idealistic views of the world, and constant willingness to enter into an unequal battle with forces of evil.* And also because they seem unbelievably clever, as they say a lot of unintelligible words, the total essence of which is unclear and mysterious.
> 
> For the rest Dons manage to be terribly annoying. With their infantile capriciousness, the sacred belief that they should be loved and cherished as they are, that others should telepathically guess and fulfill their innermost desires, and their long grudges that accompany any failure to fulfill these desires. As well as their aggressive propaganda of torn clothing, sandwiches, and low-paid quasi-scientific work as the only acceptable ways of life.
> 
> Dons in the forums usually breed endless pseudo-scientific debates around socionics, dully theorize at every opportune and inopportune moment, try to "glue" their duals (Dyumov) solely for being their type, and complain about the endless insoluble problems brought about by their typical asocial tendencies. When the representatives of socionic community (mainly SEEs) begin to give them advice on solving these problems, *they grow indignant and pose as misunderstood heroes.
> *


Damn......:bored:


----------



## Thalassa

I should have read more of these. Is this a Socionics ISTj? I don't understand why Ti/Se would in the end result still sound so much like an Si/Te/Fi Jungian ISTJ. 


This looks like an old AIM conversation between me and JTG1984. Just erase "checkbook" and insert platitudes about how he knows best and what I should do and not do, and voila. 



> _LSI: __I get my panties in a bunch if someone breaks a rule. I'm also two-faced, ultra-serious and I have bad character. What can I do to help fix this? I have no Ne, so I can't think of anything.__
> _
> _EIE: HEY HEY HOOOOOOOO! I CAN JUST BE CHEEERY AND OBNOXIOUS AROUND YOU, AND Y__OU'LL BE SOO HAPPY AND EVERYTHING WILL BE GOOD!  CAN YOU HELP ME NOT BE STUPID THOUGH? I'M A FEELER, SO I CAN'T THINK. __
> 
> LSI: __Haha, thanks! I'll be your walking checkbook, so you don't have to do any thinking at all.__
> 
> _


_





_


----------



## Thalassa

*Hamlet (Ham, Hamka, EIE, ENFj)

Always ready for an emotional discharge and a barrage of shocking behaviors and expressions. Dress up in an incredible combination of colors and styles of clothing, some things look as if they were found in garbage and washed. However, in any of their appearances there is always present, albeit hidden, and understandable only to the Hamlet - Meaning. Contrary to popular stereotype, they work everywhere and anywhere but the theater.

The virtual space is inhabited by many Hamlets of both sexes, but they are typed as Hamlets very rarely. Remember - any type upon verification can be revealed to be a Hamlet. Furthermore, in presentation of this type Hamlets are so convincing, that it is difficult to understand who is who. The easiest way to recognize a Hamlet is by frequency with which he re-types himself. If a person is today Huxley tomorrow Dreiser, and the day after Zhukov, and if every time there are people who honestly believe in it, and, almost foaming at the mouth, try to prove the correctness of the latest typing - with 99% confidence we can say - before you is Hamlet. However, sometimes Hamlets choose their favorite type, and keep holding on to it with all their arms and legs. These Hamlets can be revealed only over time, with close personal interaction.

And if someone types himself into Hamlet, then, with 99% probability it can be said that this is a real Hamlet, just a resigned one, imbued with his or her own fate. For in socionics community this type is considered to be (and, in my opinion, quite unjustly) the very apex of socionics fall, and nobody, except resigned Hamlets, could be dragged or lured into it.

Some of the socionic community, mainly consisting of their duals, Maxims, admire Hamlets for their incredibly beautiful, like a moon at a cemetery, dark, tragic pose of life, and for their ability to richly and with feeling re-tell the most prosaic events, such as - a trip for booze to the nearest store or arrival of package in mail, that the entire spectrum of emotions, from subtly allaying hopefulness to "please-stop-this-is-frightening", is readily available to the listener. As well as guaranteed non-interference in another's inner world, as Hamlets are so thoroughly and consistently taken by themselves and preoccupied by their own experiences, that no energy remains for them to try to delve into the soulful matters of others.

Hamlets are not liked in socionics community for their cowardly rudeness, for their intrigues and scandalous nature, for their thoroughly ingrained habit to achieve what they want either through hysterics or through depicting themselves as dying swans, and then again with hysterics, and also that all their minute problems they inflate to catastrophes of universal proportions, and find in these disasters the cause for their endless pathos of suffering. Finally, Hamlets are categorically unable to take responsibility for anything happening in their lives onto their shoulders, there is always someone else to blame for everything. And, believe me, accusations and demonstrations in the manner of: "Look what you did to me and my life!" will be enough to last the perpetrator his whole existence.

On forums, Hamlets are usually interested in typing. Once typed, they try to maximize their correspondence to the supposed type. Those rare Hamlets who have already been typed into Hamlet, either with maniacal persistence move mass values of Beta quadra (quadra to which they belong), or with tragedy in every letter describe and discuss all their sorrows and troubles, such that after reading it for a long time the rasping sound of strained nerves will ring in your ears.

Young male Hamlets often try to "glue" girls by their ability to feel deeply and strongly, and by their weary contemptuous views of this bitter hateful world. And in that, as a rule, they succeed. 



*Yes after my recent testing and reading this and the humorous conversation, I think I'm going to go with ENFj as my Socionics personality, as improbable as it may sound, this really sounds like my bad side, and I identify more with Socionics Fe than Socionics Fi.

Is that even probable? To be an Fi/Se type in Jung who types as EIE in Socionics? Is that insane and just wrong?

This isn't the first time I've wondered if I'm a Socionics EIE and I know a guy who I met once in person who seems to have great contempt for me who types himself as Socionics ISTp and loooooves Socionics who says he thinks I'm ENFj in this system.

Socionics baffles me.


----------



## cyamitide

@fourtines so are you a SEE then?


----------



## Mostly Harmless

fourtines said:


> Yes after my recent testing and reading this and the humorous conversation, I think I'm going to go with ENFj as my Socionics personality, as improbable as it may sound, this really sounds like my bad side, and I identify more with Socionics Fe than Socionics Fi.
> 
> Is that even probable? To be an Fi/Se type in Jung who types as EIE in Socionics? Is that insane and just wrong?
> 
> This isn't the first time I've wondered if I'm a Socionics EIE and I know a guy who I met once in person who seems to have great contempt for me who types himself as Socionics ISTp and loooooves Socionics who says he thinks I'm ENFj in this system.
> 
> Socionics baffles me.


Si PoLR for you? No fucking way. I think you're SEE.


----------



## AbioticPrime

Ouch, my stomach.


----------



## Aleksei

:laughing: This is ridiculously off-base in so many levels (for instance, EIEs actually do most of the thinking in a Beta Rational relationship, and LIEs are bouncy happy-go-lucky explorer types :tongue, but it's HILARIOUS.


----------



## Thalassa

cyamitide said:


> @_fourtines_ so are you a SEE then?


I've had someone say I'm SEE-Fi.

I actually feel like I relate more to the Socionics description of ISFp, though, but whatever.

I'm not really ever sure I understand Socionics.


----------



## brittauzenne

Si's and force-feeding porridge LOL
and everything about Fe is true not even gonna lie


----------



## Aleksei

brittauzenne said:


> Si's and force-feeding porridge LOL
> and everything about Fe is true not even gonna lie


It's true about ESEs (who are usually ESFP). :tongue:

It's absolutely not true about any EIE I've ever met (EIE being for the record a marginally more likely type for ESFJs :wink.


----------



## tanstaafl28

Humorous, droll even. :wink:


----------



## FlaviaGemina

LOL LOL LOL, I love your description of Ni!


----------



## Thalassa

Mostly Harmless said:


> Si PoLR for you? No fucking way. I think you're SEE.





cyamitide said:


> @_fourtines_ so are you a SEE then?


You're absolutely right. I'm an SEE-Fi. 

I have to be. I just identify more with Fi than Se. The Gamma quadrant is what fits me, and someone explained in a Socionics thread on another site that the descriptions of Se in Socionics may be overly hostile or biased because of the views of the Ne or Ni theorists who created it.


----------



## Mostly Harmless

fourtines said:


> You're absolutely right. I'm an SEE-Fi.
> 
> I have to be. I just identify more with Fi than Se. The Gamma quadrant is what fits me, and someone explained in a Socionics thread on another site that the descriptions of Se in Socionics may be overly hostile or biased because of the views of the Ne or Ni theorists who created it.


Yeah, people here have typed me as ESI-Fi, and I was initially put off by the descriptions because they sound so hostile and angry, and I really don't see myself that way. However, it's possible to embody gamma quadra values without being an evil tyrant, even though the descriptions don't sound that way.


----------



## auburnstar

Extroverted sensing haha so true

SEE or SEI, SEI is disconcerting in this example though.


----------



## Zero11

Why isn´t this thread stickied already?


----------



## Sixty Nein

> Ne: You crash into walls a lot, and cause lots of car accidents. You also stop right in the middle of doorways, hallways, subway entrances, and stairwells in order to socialize, thus blocking everyone else.


Holy fuck



> SLE/IEI:
> IEI: I am sitting on this couch, slitting my wrists. I need someone to punish me like the naughty teenager I am. Spank me! I've been bad!
> SLE: Yo muthafucka, SLE's IN DA HOOD YO! Bend ova, bitch, cuz I'm gonna snap a whip on yo ass if you don't BE-HAVE. Oh, and while we're at dis, can you help me restore my rep after I kick everyone's azz? Ho, I need ya to tell me I'm awesome.
> IEI: *slap* Ahhh, harder! *smack* I'll help you after you're done raping me! Don't stop!


This is the least funny of the bunch. Unless I imagine the SLE character as a white guy. Even then...


----------



## d e c a d e n t

I'm not sure I chose wisely when I decided to spend the previous hour reading this thread.


----------



## Vermillion

Damn, this thread is where it's _at_. I mean, fuck all those long paragraphs on Wikisocion, right? 



> *Se: *You love to beat people up, and you also play football. You are obsessed with power, and constantly threaten to pop a cap in someone's ass. You rape lots of people, and commit felonies every day.*Fi: *You're a moralistic prude, and love to beat people with Bibles. You live in a red state, and probably voted for George Bush because of his "family values." You are also really clingy, and hate friendly people.


You know what this makes me think of? The sort of mean playground bully who has a tiny gang and everything, the guy everyone thinks is rude and unapproachable but also kinda stupid. But then you find out later that he actually has a soft, fluffy heart of gold and thinks about deep and philosophical things when he's done beating up people, and actually just wants to find someone to appreciate him. 



> *Napoleon (Nap, Napka, SEE, ESFp)
> 
> *Absolutely uncontrollable giant creatures of dim-witted punching force. Constantly trying to prove to everyone else that they are cooler, smarter, have larger salaries, and that, all in all, their member is longer and thicker.
> 
> In virtual space, this type is represented mainly by the female sex. Part of this effect is due to the fact that Napoleon men almost always type themselves into Zhukovs (SLEs).
> 
> Part of socionic community (in which one may occasionally find their duals - Balzacs) treats them with admiration for their ability to get out and pull anyone else out of any crappy situation, and for their absolutely unwavering and constant optimism and readiness to act.
> 
> The rest they manage to provoke with their self-aggrandizing stupidity, inescapable desire to make themselves a cog in each barrel without vaseline, impositions on everyone of their exclusive knowledge of life, and never fading demonstrations of own superiority.
> 
> The forums Napoleons in equal proportions belaud their duals Balzacs and ask advice on how to deal with their horridness. And when opportunity presents itself, they will gladly attempt to demonstrate their sharp wit and their deep knowledge of life.


Yeeeah. This has absolutely evaporated any and every doubt about my type. 

...anyway, in all seriousness, I think this stuff is cool because sometimes it's in gross exaggerations that you can find weird truths about yourself. Descriptions that aren't too predictive of behavior sometimes can leave people confused because they can all be relatable to an extent.


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## KraChZiMan

Really stupid thread, too inaccurate even for a funny stereotyping thread.


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## Surrealist

Holy shit, this helped me so much. Thank you lord, now I know why I like to keep my ass hanging out so much.


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## Straystuff

No this is the best thing, everyone else can go home

Why do I find this so funny, there's tears in my eyes, oh my god


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## westlose

Oh my god, this is so awesome.

Best descriptions I've ever read. *_*


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## nicoloco90

seriously what the fuck ... i love this.


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## carrina

I just died because Hilarious. Someone come up with something funnier for ESI LIE conversation. I can't think of it myself because I'm Ne polr. Ican't think.
Wait i got one.
ESI: I hate everything but love you. Can i do your chores?
LIE: no
ESI: I hate you 
LIE: don't care
sex


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## Ixim

carrina said:


> I just died because Hilarious. Someone come up with something funnier for ESI LIE conversation. I can't think of it myself because I'm Ne polr. Ican't think.
> Wait i got one.
> ESI: I hate everything but love you. Can i do your chores?
> LIE: no
> ESI: I hate you
> LIE: don't care
> sex


I'd say it like this:

ESI: I hate everything because it's evil, but I...<silence>... can do your chores?
LIE: No.
ESI: You're evil. I hate you!
LIE: Don't care. Have some cold hard money...
(hate/anger sex)

:tongue:


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## carrina

Ixim said:


> I'd say it like this:
> 
> ESI: I hate everything because it's evil, but I...<silence>... can do your chores?
> LIE: No.
> ESI: You're evil. I hate you!
> LIE: Don't care. Have some cold hard money...
> (hate/anger sex)
> 
> :tongue:


yes! thats better.

edited: i know this thread is a joke but the stereotype of Te being about money, well its so untrue that its not funny unfortunately. True is funny. Other dual dyads are more likely to behave that way. 
Truth is i'm extremely independent and rather starve then be dependent on someone else. ESI's don't like putting anyone out of their way and that includes taking care of itself. 
Sorry to shit on this parade btw.


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## carrina

ESI: bla bla blee.. evil sadness, oh
LIE: Tell me everything you hate, it makes me feel good cuz you love me
ESI: tell me how to do stuff 
LIE: okay, do my dishes please
ESI: sex required 
LIE: if you must

This is just as silly but XD
someone refine this


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## carrina

I just realized the OP was way more hilarious for ESI LIE.


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## ruskiix

> *SLE/IEI:
> IEI: I am sitting on this couch, slitting my wrists. I need someone to punish me like the naughty teenager I am. Spank me! I've been bad!
> SLE: Yo muthafucka, SLE's IN DA HOOD YO! Bend ova, bitch, cuz I'm gonna snap a whip on yo ass if you don't BE-HAVE. Oh, and while we're at dis, can you help me restore my rep after I kick everyone's azz? Ho, I need ya to tell me I'm awesome.
> IEI: *slap* Ahhh, harder! *smack* I'll help you after you're done raping me! Don't stop!*


Can't argue with that. ESTP friend literally threatens violence when I'm being silly, and it usually makes me laugh and calm down. Though he's more prone to the word "broad."


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## Golden Rose

*LIE:* Money. Facts. Capitalism. Financial security. Office meetings. Efficiency. More boring corporate shit. Help, I can't relate to people, because no one gives a shit about any of the neat things I listed above.
*EII:* Yes, I will make you brownies. Since you are my masculine provider, I feel the need to service you like a good wife should. I'll also help you get over your fear of being less than an hour early to your next office meeting.
*LIE:* Thanks, I was getting worried there for a second that I'd be alone for the rest of my life. Now I know that someone cares about me, even if they really only care about my paycheck. Nice!

Fixed for science.
The NSA must have been listening to my private conversations.
I'll make sure to bake them into brownies once my LIE disposes of the bodies.


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## ruskiix

Hotaru said:


> *LIE:* Money. Facts. Capitalism. Financial security. Office meetings. Efficiency. More boring corporate shit. Help, I can't relate to people, because no one gives a shit about any of the neat things I listed above.
> *EII:* Yes, I will make you brownies. Since you are my masculine provider, I feel the need to service you like a good wife should. I'll also help you get over your fear of being less than an hour early to your next office meeting.
> *LIE:* Thanks, I was getting worried there for a second that I'd be alone for the rest of my life. Now I know that someone cares about me, even if they really only care about my paycheck. Nice!
> 
> Fixed for science.
> The NSA must have been listening to my private conversations.
> I'll make sure to bake them into brownies once my LIE disposes of the bodies.


Meanwhile, IEI with LIE..

IEI: I'm sad and don't want to be. Could you threaten me with violence?
LIE: Sure! I can provide anything for y--wait, violence? .. I .. Sure! I can impose my will and meet any objective! And enjoy that you want to be submissive to me!
IEI: You're doing it wrong! You're supposed to mean it but not really!
LIE: That doesn't make sense. I'm just going to go back to earning money for you, that'll make you happy. Brownies?
IEI: Brownies?? What do you think I am?? How dare you! .. But yes, I can do that.

Not funny in my attempt to capture it, tragically funny to experience.


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## To_august

Recopied from somewhere else.

Story about a cake and interaction of all eight functions between IEE (Huxley) and SLI (Gabin).
As a precondition, there's a steaming pie on the table.


SLI *Si base* I've made a cake.
IEE *Ne base* Oooh! Cake! Yum-yum! Browny warmy steaming cake! I should taste it!
SLI *Se limiting* No. *slaps IEE on the wrist*
IEE *Fi creative* But why???
SLI *Ni role* All in due time.
IEE *Ni limiting* Yea. I'll wait!
SLI *Se limiting* Hands off the pie!
IEE *Fi creative* Oh, God! There are children dying of hunger in Africa, and you can not give me a piece of cake?!
SLI *Te creative* If you want to help children in Africa, donate money for humanitarian aid. You won't have a cake.
IEE *Si suggestive* I can taste your cake so as to understand how to cook it!
SLI *Ne suggestive* It seems you are trying to trick me.
IEE *Se role* Give me the cake *snatches plate with a cake from SLI's hands*
SLI *Se limiting* *glares angrily*
IEE *let go off the plate, Fe demonstrative* Fine! Then I'll suffer!
SLI *Fe PoLR* Go ahead. Just do it somewhere away from me and the cake.
IEE *Si suggestive* Great. Then, I'll make a cake myself!
SLI *Ne suggestive* I sense troubles...
IEE *Ti PoLR* Well... right... food processor... it must be somewhere here... could you show me how it works? The manual is written in Chinese!
SLI *Ti demonstrative* It's in German. Look, it is very simple.
IEE *Fi creative* You're the lord of food processors!
SLI *Si base* That's the way it works.
IEE *Te activating/HA* We can establish a business of manuals adaptation, so as normal people could understand them!
SLI *Ni role* We can eat the cake in 10 minutes
IEE *Ni limiting* Is it time already?
SLI *Si base* I just see that the cake is almost cooled down.

IEE *Si suggestive* I will cut it!
SLI *Fi activating/HA* I wasn't against you eating a cake, it's just that warm dough is bad for the stomach. There would be more problems afterwards *Ne suggestive*
IEE *Ne base* I knew that you'd give it to me! I've been just playing for time, so you wouldn't kick me out of the kitchen!
SLI *Se limiting*


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## cyamitide

ruskiix said:


> Meanwhile, IEI with LIE..
> 
> IEI: I'm sad and don't want to be. Could you threaten me with violence?
> LIE: Sure! I can provide anything for y--wait, violence? .. I .. Sure! I can impose my will and meet any objective! And enjoy that you want to be submissive to me!
> IEI: You're doing it wrong! You're supposed to mean it but not really!
> LIE: That doesn't make sense. I'm just going to go back to earning money for you, that'll make you happy. Brownies?
> IEI: Brownies?? What do you think I am?? How dare you! .. But yes, I can do that.
> 
> Not funny in my attempt to capture it, tragically funny to experience.


That's actually very close to the experience :blushed:


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## idoh

lol this is accurate.:violin:


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## nicoloco90

when I read Fi and Ne I feel so proud about it :3

I approve!


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