# Dialogue Between Cognitive Functions



## ThatOneWeirdGuy (Nov 22, 2012)

Thought this would be a fun thread. I'll start; let's say this is in an ENFP's mind. 

Ne: Bro. Brilliant idea. When marijuana is first legalized in a state, we should start a business there selling marijuana. Sure, there will be gangs and stuff there selling the drug, but we'll be more organized in our business. And we'll make it discreet, just as the illegal operations do for the customers that don't want to be seen buying the drug.

Fi: But that's so wrong. Selling something that hurts the consumer for profit is like war profiteering.

Te: Didn't we read something a while back that said alcohol's more dangerous than pot? Plus, we could be the first one the have an organized advancement into the business of recreational drug use. And it's so pragma -

Fi: Te, where the fuck did you come from?

Te: *crawls back into it's hole*

Fi: Okay, Ne, how about we start a business utilizing the drug for therapeutic and medical purposes.

Ne: Fine, but *continues to argue*

*group is highly conflicted about decision*


Si: Remember that one time when our friend's brother was really high when I was at my friend's house, you know I think that was pot. I felt really nervous around him.

Ne: Shut the fuck up, Si, nobody likes you.


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## Draphy (Jul 28, 2012)

Poor Si...


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

INFJ:

Ni: I wonder why people love getting autographs from famous people.

Fe: It probably helps them connect to the celebrity on a personal level.

Se: Hey has anyone seen my bag of chips?

Ni: I don't know. That seems too simplistic. Has to be something more to that.

Ti: Perhaps it equates to their insecurities of not being worth it--because let's be honest, that seems kind of weak.

Fe: That's so rude, Ti. That's not true.

Ti: :dry: 

Se: Seriously guys, wheres the 4th bag of chips? I have a Fullmetal Alchemist 20 episode marathon to get in today and I can't find the chips.

Ni: You are both wrong. I think there is something unstated about the whole thing, but I can't put my finger on it. Even famous people want autographs from other celebrities. Maybe it's a way to remember the event. Like a picture. A source of memories that is preserved in an autograph. 

Ti: That makes no sense.

Fe: This whole conversation is pointless; go help someone.

Se: Everyone calm down, I've found the chips...if anyone needs me I'll be watching TV for 20 hours.

J: Okay guys, I'm home...THE HOUSE IS A FREAKING MESS, GET YOUR BUTT MOVING!!!!


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## QrivaN (Aug 3, 2012)

This thread is entertaining. This probably isn't how it goes for other INTJs, but this is what's going through my head right now.

Te: Okay guys, we've got a project to do and we're doing it like this!*explains procedure*
Se: But I wanna play Chrono Cross today! I don't have time for no stinking project!
Te: The project is more important than playing a game! If we don't get an amazing grade on this, we might FAIL!
Fi: But we're on Spring Break. We have a whole week to get started. Can't we wait even one day?
Fe: Guys, it's a group project. We should probably get started like Te said.
Te, Fi, Se: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!
Fe: W-well, I'm Fe...
Te: Sorry, no outsiders. We need this to be left to the ones that we know are competent.
Ni: So, we know that the ones arguing with you for a break are more competent than the one that's trying to back up your claim?
Te: N-Ni...
Ni: We can take a break. I already understand everything that we need to do, and it's not hard. We'll get started soon.
Te: B-but...
Se: STOP TRYING TO ARGUE WITH THE BOSS! Ni SAID WE GET A BREAK, SO WE GET A BREAK!
Ni: Stop yelling. It's obnoxious.
Fi: Okay, so let's go play Chrono Cross.
Fe: You know, Fi; I expected you to be against not doing the work right away.
Fi: *shrugs shoulders* I'm pretty lenient.


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

QrivaN said:


> Se: But I wanna play Chrono Cross today!


roud:


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## DomNapoleon (Jan 21, 2012)

Ni: Reality is never what it seems. 

Se: STFU Reality is reality, enjoy it! #YOLO

Ni: No it's not. Whatever is expressed is just a tiny little fraction of it... So if you only focus on the physical perceptions of the object, then you will never know what it really is. 

Se: La La La La

Fe (indignant): Se, how could you?! Pay some attention and learn! 

Se: You are a pain in the ass! 
Fe: Language... :mellow:

Ni: OMG you guys, don't you see the hidden beauty around us? It brings tears to my eyes!
Fe: If you enjoy it, then I enjoy it too. :happy: 

Ti: Guys, do you have any idea of what the hell you are talking about? Fe, how can you accept something without analyzing it first?


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## ThatOneWeirdGuy (Nov 22, 2012)

Phoenix_Rebirth said:


> Ni: Reality is never what it seems.
> 
> Se: STFU Reality is reality, enjoy it! #YOLO
> 
> ...


Why are all of your functions equally as powerful... >.<


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## DomNapoleon (Jan 21, 2012)

ThatOneWeirdGuy said:


> Why are all of your functions equally as powerful... >.<


Well, I wasn't making a dialog in a sort of 'Ni>Fe>Ti>Se' hierarchic way lol ... I did it just to compare how different those functions are.


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## Herp (Nov 25, 2010)

Si: We should get ready for this graduation party.

Te: What do we need, master?

Si: I'm not entirely sure. I have never been to exactly this before, we need a guide.

Ne: We could go dressed as a Penguin - A penguin is always wearing a formal suit!

Te: Impratical - that's not the goal of this meeting we're headed to.

Fi: But you should follow your whims sometimes, you know?

Te: And I will - when it makes sense to follow them. Now is not the time. Master, I ask you, what do we need?

Si: Hmm... The closest thing I get from this is a wedding party - formal suits are okay, but it's not the same thing.

Te: Formal suits then. I'll look for the best option.

(Choosing suits)

Fi: I like this.

Te: We don't have the resources. We have to keep looking.

Si: If we don't find a suit, we'll have to improvise.

Ne: Did someone said improvise?


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## The Madman (Feb 20, 2013)

Te: An assignment is due today at 3:56 pm. It is 2:00 pm. It is imperative that it is completed immediately.
Fi: That assignment is boring. 
Se: I second that. It`s a beautiful day. Experience the beauty for once. Let your mind rest... 
Ni: Based upon the lecture, that assignment seems easy. It will be completed in...say...30 minutes
Te: Let's analyze this logically. You wish to read in the library, that will take 15 to 30 minutes, or longer, if you are interested in the book and delve into some theory of yours. You also wish to work on that lab report. You will need at least 10 to 15 minutes to get onto a computer, then at the least, 15 minutes to get anything done and save it to your e-mail. Do not forget that you must organize yourself for the class in which the homework assignment is due at some time between 3:30 pm and 3:45 pm, as the class starts at 4:00 pm. Therefore, you are already running out of time to do the assignment, which is the most immediate thing on the schedule... 
Fi: But it's boring!
Te:..Stop whining! Also, do not forget that this internal conversation is wasting time. And what happens if the homework assignment is harder than you think?
Ni: Figure this out, Te. If I do poorly on the assignment, what will happen to my grade?
Te: Nothing much. You're doing fine in the course. Considering all the other assignments you got good grades on, it probably won't change by even a percentage.
Fi: Well, then. What are you waiting for? Do it later!
Ni: But I`m not doing too well in that course. I`m at a low A-. What happens if I screw up another assignment? However, if you look at it another way, A- is a fine grade...
Te: I am so losing here...
Fi: I win! 
Te: Rats. 
Ni: Let`s go to the library and work on that psychological theory. (Starts walking)
Te: You need objective facts for that theory. It is based upon a few case studies and Fi`s whims on the subject. However, based on those case studies I read, it definitely has potential...
Se: Watch out!

(Slams into a tree)


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## Antipode (Jul 8, 2012)

Phoenix_Rebirth said:


> Fe: If you enjoy it, then I enjoy it too. :happy:


Omg I love that xDD Very true.


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## ThatOneWeirdGuy (Nov 22, 2012)

Why are so many people just lurking and thanking posts but not posting? This is gold people, come up with something.


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## Beauty for Ashes (Feb 6, 2013)

Fi: I'm so upset because of how that person responded to what I just said.

Te: They're probably just having a bad day.

Ne: Maybe you could try to cheer them up.

Fi: (ignores Te and Ne)

Si: Yeah, I think they totally hate you like that person back in grade school did when they made a face like that. It feels so awful, being so rejected by people.

Ne: You should totally, probably, calm down because look at this cool thing over here you could do instead.

Fi: But if they hate me, I just want to go into La La land and not think about it.

Si: That would be awesome! That worked last time!

Ne: Okay I guess I'll shut up if you two aren't listening to me.

Fi-Si: (having a whispered, panicked conference)

Se: Um, watch out for the...

KERSPLAT

Se: ... book on the floor.

Fi: I TOTALLY SUCK!!!!

Te: Um, this place is a mess... Should we clean it up? Maybe you'd feel better then.

Fi-Si: NO! We're too tired and upset. Stop judging us!!!(Continue whispered conference)


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## rabbitofkaz (Sep 19, 2012)

ISTP: Ti-Se-Ni-Fe

Ti: Ok everyone, our friend's birthday is coming up. We need to think of a gift.
Se: We're at the mall! It's the perfect place to look for something. Ooo what is that over there?
Ti: That giant sparkly pair of sunglasses is not an appropriate gift. Focus now. We need to find something good.
Se: But we still have 2 weeks! Just wait, this mall is full of awesome stuff. We're going to run into something easily. No need to stress!
Ti: That would be efficient, but we cannot logically assume that will happen. We must consider carefully, and have a plan of approach.
Fe: Yeah, remember when _you_ got a gift you didn't like? Don't be that person. Get her something good so you can share her happiness!
Ti: Share her happiness? That's not logical. (rolls eyes) More likely she would squeal and get all mushy on you. 
Se: I smell cinnamon rolls.
Ni: We're talking about our friend IxFx, right? She might be feeling like she wants to do that, but she's not going to squeal in a public place. We'll be safe when we give it to her at the party.
Ti: Good point, Ni. 
Se: OMG. A screaming baby.
Ni: There's a store that looks good.
Ti: That store does look like it might fit our present needs. She likes jewelery.
Se: I like it. It's quieter in here. And I like the music.
Ni: There, that necklace. It reminds me of her.
Fe: She would like it!
Se: It's too big for you.
Ti: The necklace is not for us, Se. (sigh) Now let's buy it and you get us out of here without running into someone in this crowded mall.


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## Fern (Sep 2, 2012)

QrivaN said:


> This thread is entertaining. This probably isn't how it goes for other INTJs, but this is what's going through my head right now.
> 
> Te: Okay guys, we've got a project to do and we're doing it like this!*explains procedure*
> Se: But I wanna play Chrono Cross today! I don't have time for no stinking project!
> ...


You should become a playwright with witty insight like that; no joke


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## Vanderlyle (Jan 19, 2012)

Alright brain, we need to get this project done. 

Si: Hey, no worries, I've managed to write 2000 words in a couple of hours before. It shouldn't be any different. I've still got time to goof around.
Ti: That was creative writing assignment, not a research essay, you can't compare the working time of the two.
Fe: Guys, I know you said it was okay to procrastinate this, but I'm really worried that if we do a bad job the other students will judge us.
Si: Yeah, okay we're starting to run out of time so we should probably get started. Let's check the online resources so I can make use of being able to search for key-words. Ctrl-f is the best.
Ti: This looks like a good source. Wait, hold on, if it's right then it implies all kinds of things. So many insights, all somewhat relevant to my topic. 
Ne: Yeah, we should just change our topic to talk about that interesting thing that one source mentioned. I've already got the arguments ready, now we just have to find the proof.
Si: We can't find the sources for that new essay, we don't have time. Plus, I'm not sure if it even exists in reputable literature.
Fe: Guys I know you all think you're working really hard, but we're running out of time and you haven't really written anything. I'm sort of panicking because if we don't hand this in our teacher is going to be so disappointed in us.
Si: Not to mention that it'l be harder to get leeway in future situations because we've lost his trust.
Fe: Shouldn't you be focusing on the essay!? It's almost bed-time.
Si: Sleep is expendable. That'll add a few more hours.
Ne: I've got a whole bunch of ideas on how we can get around not handing it in tomorrow.
Ti: And I made sure they would work.
Si: What?! I thought you guys were working on the essay! Urg, fine. There's no way I'd be able to finish it in this amount of time anyway. Let me take a look at those plans.

It happens more often than I'd like to admit.


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## firedell (Aug 5, 2009)

_I have been drawing all week. I imagine this is what happens.
_
Te: Right, let's get down to business. This has to be handed in next Monday.

Se: Let's look at pictures of the eye, and try to get every detail of it. Let's make it look real.

Ni: Haha, as if you can do that. 

Se: *completes outlining of eye* What the hell is that? It looks like a lemon.

Ni: Told you.

Te: Shut up. Just fill it in, because that means you have at least done something.

Se: *Fills in details only it cares about.* 

- 2 hours later -

Se: This is rubbish. I don't like it at all. The shading is all wrong.

Fi: It looks kind of sad.

Ni: Will the person who sees this, think that I am sad?

Fi: Am I sad?

Se: It's just a drawing. 

Ni: I know! It can represent sadness. *nods*

Se: It represents an eye. A poor representation.

Te: Come'on just do another one. You need to fill this sketch book. Who cares if it is your best work?

Se: It's not perfect enough! It must be perfect! *erases it*

Ni: What the hell did you just do Se? You could have erased a part of it, now you have to start all over again.

Te: This has to be in next Monday.

Fi: I hate my life.


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## Sixty Nein (Feb 13, 2011)

Ti/Fe in unison: It's good to know that this thread was as obnoxious as I expected it to be.


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## ThatOneWeirdGuy (Nov 22, 2012)

St Vual said:


> Ti/Fe in unison: It's good to know that this thread was as obnoxious as I expected it to be.


You haven't even contributed other than to say the thread is obnoxious... :/


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## bobdaduck (Apr 24, 2010)

I swear all my internal conversations go something like this.

Ti: Okay, so we're hungry. The next step is to buy food.

Se: pretty girl!

Fe: But I always go to Subway... What will my coworkers think?

Ni: She touched her hair. Why do girls touch their hair like that?

Ti: But Subway is the closest and will save us the most money. 

Se: Pretty girl!

Fe: Maybe I can make some joke about always getting Subway.

Ni: Does it make them feel better? More secure? Just gives them something to do with their hands?

Ti: I'll pay with my card so that I'll have cash saved for that thing later. It'll be the most efficient.

Se: Pretty girl!

*Fe and Ti look through jokes, minding that female coworkers will probably not take kindly to kitchen ones*

Ni: What does it mean to be "a pretty girl"?


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