# Why Do Many Women Enjoy Being Spanked?



## Spooky

This was a chat conversation and I was encouraged to start a thread about it, so here ya go. It seems that a lot of women enjoy being spanked during sexual encounters. Some women even ask to be spanked. What is the reasoning behind this? 

Is it a Freudian thing? Reminsicent of being spanked as a child by their father?


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## vanWinchester

Has nothing to do with the father IMHO. It is more of just a *dirty thing* and handing over control for a brief moment. Personally I'd do it only with people I respect and trust though. I don't like to hand over control about me to anybody. Very close persons only, and even then, not without feeling awkward and a bit skeptic about it. 
I guess when you are somebody who always is in control of everything on your life, you enjoy such playful things where somebody else *leads* you. 
My 2 cents.


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## Happy

Shadow said:


> Is it a Freudian thing? Reminsicent of being spanked as a child by their father?


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## Spooky

"Spank me, daddy! I've been a naughty girl."




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## Happy




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## Spooky

I pose this question because I've never particularly enjoyed spanking women, even when they ask me to. I'm trying to understand why it appeals to some of them.


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## Happy

Shadow said:


> I pose this question because I've never particularly enjoyed spanking women, even when they ask me to. I'm trying to understand why it appeals to some of them.


This might sound nasty but I think they want to divert the pain away from their butt hole and into their butt cheeks?:tongue: Oh God, why did I have to say that.:crying:


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## Spooky

Lance said:


> This might sound nasty but I think they want to divert the pain away from their butt hole and into their butt cheeks?:tongue: Oh God, why did I have to say that.:crying:


That's quite an interesting theory.

I bet that cafe waitress has a wild side behind that innocent smile of hers.


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## Spooky




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## Ungweliante

Personally I don't enjoy being spanked. I also don't connect pain with sexual pleasure. For me spanking is not cute, but demeaning, and I place too high a worth on myself to happily agree to it. If a guy would insist on doing that to me, I would devalue the guy. I'm sure this has ties to my somewhat problematic childhood. I would find it interesting to know what kind of a relationship the women who do like to be spanked have had with their parents.

However, I have personally spanked a lot of my friends and e.g. their snugglebear toys, while roleplaying that those toys have been bad. I did enjoy it, but it wasn't serious.


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## moon

A couple times is kind of nice :blushed: followed by a rough squeeze hehe...


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## TreeBob

Ungweliante said:


> However, I have personally spanked a lot of my friends and e.g. their snugglebear toys, while roleplaying that those toys have been bad. I did enjoy it, but it wasn't serious.


ok you just turned me on. 

My current girl likes to be spanked. I get no pleasure from it but he what ever gets her off! :tongue:


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## ChaosRegins

*Why? Maybe the pleasure they may feel from it or domination or some type of adrenaline rush that gets the blood flow in the arse and causes sensation. Anyhow, I found this article with some opinions and "answers."*

*Spank That, Why Women Love Getting Spanked*
Do you like being spanked? I ask this question because I bumped into an old “jumpoff” the other day who actually let me beat her with a belt while we did the do. I think the majority of women like to be spanked. So men, if you’re not spanking your lady during sex she probably want you to start spanking her. I asked a bunch of women why they like being spanked and here is what I came up with.


“@ss spanking rocks! Any male dominated sexual activity rocks in my book. something about feeling a man in that authoritative way is such a turn on…though I did date a guy that liked to be choked when I rode him…ham…that rocked too.” *Bonita S.*
“Its always unexpected so when it happens in the heat of the moment it just adds to the excitement. you don’t have to beat a girl. Nothing like a lil tap of that @ss… ooh yeah and pull my hair too while your at it” *Ler*
“It has something to do with not having as much control over themselves as they usually do…and there is a certain level of danger that brings excitement into the fray.” *~Q*
“It’s kind of a turn on for me. the man being in control is sexy. not a full on spanking, but an occasional slap on the @ss. ooooh sh*t. that does something for me. it tells me that he loves my @ss, and that he wants to get this @ss. and I am more than happy to give it to him. I love this blog. you are the bomb boo.” *Tanya*
“I liked to be dominated by my man in bed, I carry out all my wifely duties and keep it tight… so at night time then I can be his little slu* and he can pull my hair, do anything he wants with me.” *Kristy Lynn*
“It hurts good. The sting mixed with the pleasureable things going on between my thighs turns me on even more.” *Tamika*
“I know why I love to be spanked. Lol It’s a rush for me. My guy hitting it from behind and slapping the @ss just hypes me up. It makes me wetter and makes me squirt which is a beautiful thing.” *Keia G.*


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## stellar renegade

hot damn, some of those comments were amazing (especially the last four!)


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## thehigher

Ya i spank my girlfriend...she likes it. Ya like everyone has been sayin...its about that control thing. Spanking is sort of a sign on dominance while at the same time letting the girl know that you are very sexually attracted to her. So it is a sort of tease in a way. 

But on the other hand....it does feel rather....disgusting to me. I don't know....it's a love-hate thing for me.


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## thewindlistens

The obvious answer is that it's just another form of the ever present sexual game, domination.

I remember reading that it also has a lot to do with blood flow in those southern parts. After a round of spanking there's a lot more blood circulating down there so every sensation becomes more intense. Which can't really hurt in sex. Well, maybe it hurts, but not in a bad way, I suppose.


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## DayLightSun

Spanking is a bit complicated.
I do see it like the higher sees it, but it can also show how tough one can be.
I remember one ex kept asking me is that hard enough and I kept saying no.
rofl
I also saw a punk rock show where the girl got spanked hard with a paddle and she was tough.
My second point about spanking is how many times do we touch our butts sexually. 
Grabing a alright but spanking is different and done moderate is exciting and feels good. :wink:


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## Munchies

Shadow said:


> This was a chat conversation and I was encouraged to start a thread about it, so here ya go. It seems that a lot of women enjoy being spanked during sexual encounters. Some women even ask to be spanked. What is the reasoning behind this?
> 
> Is it a Freudian thing? Reminsicent of being spanked as a child by their father?


haha funny shit.

But i think it has to do with them liking male dominance. Or maybe the slapping gives off a nice sensation when getting their mind blown away by my... self. But i doubt its because theyr daddies spank them lol.. hmm well you never know... " whos your daddy!"... "you are!" (SLAP) "ohhh daddy!"


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## Spooky

moon said:


> A couple times is kind of nice :blushed: followed by a rough squeeze hehe...


Who doesn't love a good squeeze? I'm all about the groping, not so much spanking though.

Like TreeBob said, whatever gets her off.


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## stellar renegade

This thread is awesome.


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## Perseus

I need advice about how to deal with a Unruly Hedge (ESFP) playing the Queen Bee and it can sting quite badly. I just want her out of the way. Is it best to delegate a spanking to a Bully ESTJ ? 

I wanted to talk to her, cause it was important, but I ended up whopping her and she giggled. And now she is even more unruly. And liable to be poisonous. I think her heart is OK but she is narked.


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## ChaosRegins

Perseus said:


> I need advice about how to deal with a Unruly Hedge (ESFP) playing the Queen Bee and it can sting quite badly. I just want her out of the way. Is it best to delegate a spanking to a Bully ESTJ ?
> 
> I wanted to talk to her, cause it was important, but I ended up whopping her and she giggled. And now she is even more unruly. And liable to be poisonous. I think her heart is OK but she is narked.


*Wow. You tried talking to her then you hit her, and she's still an annoying woman. All I can say pal is cut the friggin hedge down. Move on, but if you want to spank and it ends up you shagging her...Congrats. :crazy:*


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## hopeseed

Right, it dose not have to do with "daddy", I think that might be a male fantasy. But for women...or I'll just say me, it just feels nice and is exciting. It shows that he is excited too. I noticed when a man is comfortable with me sexually and he gets excited, he spanks me and it is a turn. But guys, be carful the point is pleasure, hit too hard and she'll think you want to hurt her instead of please her. Although I am sure there are some who like some pain, not most do. Also when you hit her butt, it sort of gets the circulation going in the area! Ha! I find that guys want to be spanked too, there are a lot of G spots in that area on men! Prostate...for one


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## Kevinaswell

Because they are fucking weird?


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## thehigher

Kevinaswell said:


> Because they are fucking weird?


I think he answered it. This discussion is done.


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## Perseus

*The Clap*



ChaosRegins said:


> *Wow. You tried talking to her then you hit her, and she's still an annoying woman. All I can say pal is cut the friggin hedge down. Move on, but if you want to spank and it ends up you shagging her...Congrats. :crazy:*




Thanks alot. I don't want a dose of the clap.


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## PurtyLady

Personally, I like variety. Passionate most of the time, but rough is fun too. Mostly things like being smashed against a wall and ass grabbing. I have been spanked one time, and he never did it again. But if you want to get into the psycho-analysis of it all, I don't like to be dominated.


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## stellar renegade

PurtyLady said:


> Personally, I like variety. Passionate most of the time, but rough is fun too. Mostly things like being smashed against a wall and ass grabbing. I have been spanked one time, and he never did it again. But if you want to get into the psycho-analysis of it all, I don't like to be dominated.


You seem hella fun! :laughing:


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## Liontiger

I have, ahem, some masochistic tendencies, so spanking is definitely a turn on. Not all the time, though, and not too much. It has to be spontaneous, just a quick slap here and there. And she can't get carried away with the dirty talk, cause...ew. I'd feel a little awkward spanking someone else, though. It's just not me :/


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## thehigher

Liontiger said:


> just a quick slap here and there.


Oh be honest.


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## BehindSmile

Spanking is hot because it gives the guy control, and i like when guys take control.


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## Liontiger

thehigher said:


> Oh be honest.


Oh shush, I am being honest. The occassional spank is enough for me. I don't do well with pain :crazy: Now biting on the otherhand...


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## Spooky

BehindSmile said:


> Spanking is hot because it gives the guy control, and i like when guys take control.


Ha! Good to have you back.

It makes you _smile_ to have your _behind_ spanked, eh? :wink:


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## BehindSmile

Shadow said:


> Ha! Good to have you back.
> 
> It makes you _smile_ to have your _behind_ spanked, eh? :wink:


Thanks....and yes.. haha


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## mcgooglian

You can spank me anytime Shadow.:tongue:


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## thehigher

Liontiger said:


> Oh shush, I am being honest. The occassional spank is enough for me. I don't do well with pain :crazy: Now biting on the otherhand...


K this must be an intp thing.

biting
spanking
jealousy
grabbing hair
very soft kisses


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## thehigher

BehindSmile said:


> Spanking is hot because it gives the guy control, and i like when guys take control.


hey weren't you infp not too long ago?


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## Spooky

mcgooglian said:


> You can spank me anytime Shadow.:tongue:


Not unless your ass looks like this:


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## mcgooglian

Shadow said:


> Not unless your ass looks like this:


With a little surgery, that can be arranged.:tongue:


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## stellar renegade

haha! Nice.

U girlz r makin me sew hott!!!1 srsly stoppit
Hey BehindSmile, what's up? According to Keirsey theory I'm supposed to be a good match for you.


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## 480

Someone once complained to me that their right cheek was on fire. I told her that is what you get for dating a right-handed man.

But seriously ambidexterity has its place.


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## DayLightSun

What about getting their hair pulled? Getting spanked, and scratching all my favorites.... And you can't forget biting yummy...


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## SuicidalMarshmallow

Alright...I don't know how I'd take a spank in the middle of sex. It's kinda like telling me "get a grip". Also, dominance is not something I want form the guy. Let me me be on top XD Well, sometimes I'll be at the bottom, but that's a different story. And for girls...no spanking either XD Put your hand to better use 
To answer the public spanking question: I'd probably give you a look like "WTF?" And tell you to go fuck yourself, even if you were already my boyfriend. Either that or I'd slap him xD 
So, to sum up: I might try a spank once of twice, but overall, the answer is NO. And public? Don't even get me going...
My parents do public spanking all the time. It's disgusting Dx


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## Spooky




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## 1057

that would be hot, just without the pie.

actually, i'll take the pie, just not on my face. in my mouf.


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## DevilDoll

I love to be spanked for several reasons. 1. He is asserting his dominance. I am a very dominant person in my day to day life, but in bed I tend to want someone who is going to assert dominance. It can turn into a challenge, if I am feeling frisky so control ends up switching abck and forth. But, typically I want a man to show me that he is, well... the man. 2. I am a masochist. I do not have a high pain tolerance in anyway, but I love pain during sex. Spank me, bite me, pull my hair, scratch me, smack me, draw blood.... if it gets to be too much we have a safe word. 3. It is an erogenous zone. plain and simple. It's a turn on.

As for publicly smacking my ass... sure. I wouldn't be ok with it happening ever thirty minutes, but every now and then is fine with me.


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## Lucretius

I certainly like the idea of being the one doing the spanking, so it is good to know that so many girls enjoy it.
I find it a bit awkward when I am swatted though, but meh.


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## susurration

Spooky said:


> YouTube - Guy Spanks Hot Girl and Shoves Pie in Her Face


If my partner did that to me, he'd be in for some major ass whooping (ho ho ho) and most probably some verbal abuse while i'm at it.


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## Alice in Wonderland

ew. I would never let a man spank me. Never fucking ever. *shifts into karate chop stance*


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## Sily

Anyone who spanks me ( because they saw it in a movie & it looked *_HOT_* or read in a book that this is what *_works_* w/women, or because their last wife/girlfriend liked it) will get a quick punch in the face & then while you're sleeping, I'll probably glue your penis to your abdomen.


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## susurration

Sily Wily said:


> Anyone who spanks me ( because they saw it in a movie & it looked *_HOT_* or read in a book that this is what *_works_* w/women, or because their last wife/girlfriend liked it) will get a quick punch in the face & then while you're sleeping, I'll probably glue your penis to your abdomen.


I just sprayed OJ all over my keyboard :tongue:

thanks wily!!


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## Vanitas

Sily Wily said:


> Anyone who spanks me ( because they saw it in a movie & it looked *_HOT_* or read in a book that this is what *_works_* w/women, or because their last wife/girlfriend liked it) will get a quick punch in the face & then while you're sleeping, I'll probably glue your penis to your abdomen.


Thank you.


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## skycloud86

I wouldn't really want to spank a woman, it would just seem too strange to me, so hopefully any future girlfriend won't like it too much.


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## The Proof

better question, why do many men enjoy being spanked ? :tongue:


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## Fanille

I don't really find the act of spanking itself to be sexy, but for some strange reason a woman who is willing to let herself get spanked sounds awesome to me. I don't really know why. :crazy:


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## LeelooDallas

hell no! anybody who hits me at any time, especially during sex, will quickly get his dick handed to him through one of his eye sockets.

honestly i think many women who seem to enjoy this do it because they think it's a turn on to their partner


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## 1057

if you don't like it that's your choice but making stupid generalizations about the people that do is just straight up ignorant.


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## LeelooDallas

not accurately comprehending the topic title is even more ignorant, especially since it implies a request for generalized responses.


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## 1057

that doesn't make it any less stupid. pretty much the vibe i got from that is that whenever a woman has a sexual quirk or 'fetish', she's doing it for her partner? i don't think so. i do agree that some women probably do it for their partner and not for themselves but they're in the minority -- not 'many'.


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## stellar renegade

Every time I see the title for this thread (I'm subscribed) I think, "Who cares? If they like getting spanked, spank 'em! What does it matter _why?_" hahaha.

I was dating a chick who liked to get spanked, but she was an ENFP and I think she just got turned on by me getting turned on. hahaha, how crazy. It was hella convenient, though. The only person we really had to please was me. :crazy:


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## Claviger

Personally, I am impartial to either spanking or not spanking, meh

it does nothing for me, tbh, I find sex rather dull unless I am experimenting with something new, be it a movement, position, toy, location, etc.

The novelty wears fast, and spanking is just so......... pedestrian now.




On the other hand, spanking a hot ass 22 year old, at a hotel, outside by the pool at 10PM when people are walking around but not into the walled pool area...

that was fun


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## Rao

I think I like being spanked because I like when I feel like either me or my partner is dominating in bed.


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## seraphiel

Can't believe I'm gonna post here (I'm really shy....) 

But for me it isn't about pain (I surely don't like it done too hard) or dominance... I think just the quick 'shock' and following adrenaline rush kinda traveling through me is a turn on. I'm the same about being tickled or having my feet played with... it just works for me :shocked:

Now I have to hide. :tongue:


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## pinkrasputin

Spooky said:


> This was a chat conversation and I was encouraged to start a thread about it, so here ya go. It seems that a lot of women enjoy being spanked during sexual encounters. Some women even ask to be spanked. What is the reasoning behind this?
> 
> Is it a Freudian thing? Reminsicent of being spanked as a child by their father?


I would never asked to be spanked. Please don't put me that dominant position. Just go for it. I'll act shy but let you do it and I'll get off on it.

I like being spanked (politely) because it shows me that you can control me. That's VERY rare for a sometimes bucking mare like me. :shocked: Shows me you can handle me:wink:

Oh, and did I hear someone say "hair pulling"? PLEASE do it!! Doesn't it offer you guys much more control when you're at the reigns from behind or when I"m down on.......oh never mind. I'll keep it PG :frustrating:

So when's the REAL question coming? :crazy:


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## InvisibleJim

Don'y worry girls I'll spanky you very firmly. I won't leave any bruises. 

What can you say, I'm a people pleaser. (I approve of this thread)


But don't worry, you can spank me if you prefer.


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## Enigma

OoooO! I love this thread May I second the spankings? It loses all allure if I have ask for it, but some nice well placed slaps in the heat of the moment... Major Turn on! I remember hair pulling being mentioned - I have very long hair - I always have it in a ponytail for 'play' - I love when I guy wraps it around his hand...and...mmm..... But all has to be in the heat of the moment, you know? - I hate having to 'direct'. I love to be submissive! Tho there are times I want to be in charge, but spanking then seems emasculating, which is certainly not want I want - I just want to be in control of this big strong man I have in my clutches! :crazy: Slow teasing torture works best there!


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## 480

I like a contrast, and pushing boundaries. Keeping a girl guessing, and flaunting my control. I like to on occasion push things just a touch too far, really make them squirm. Push them to the point their minds are reduced to producing an animalistic hunger. Whip them into a frenzy and then let them go to feast.

I think that is why some like it and some dont. It's your view on sex itself. I suspect that those who have a "sex is a chore" mentality or feel the need to put all sorts of qualifiers on when it's the "right time" to have sex are the ones who dont like it. Or maybe they're afraid of being with the kind of guy who would be able to do such things with nonchalance. Some women just need those shy little guys who cringe at the thought of a nice openhanded pop to feel safe.

Poor things.


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## Scylla

i... can't stand being spanked.
it makes me want to hit them back, really, really hard. and leave bruises. ):

i don't mind my ass being squeezed, though.


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## INFpharmacist

Scylla said:


> i... can't stand being spanked.
> it makes me want to hit them back, really, really hard. and leave bruises. ):
> 
> i don't mind my ass being squeezed, though.


I don't like spankings either. They remind me of my kid brother popping me with a towel or slapping me on the stomach as a child.

Soft, soft spankings are fine. They feel like something naughty, but they're harmless.

Yeah... I like a good grab. :tongue:


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## Scylla

INFpharmacist said:


> I don't like spankings either. They remind me of my kid brother popping me with a towel or slapping me on the stomach as a child.
> 
> Soft, soft spankings are fine. They feel like something naughty, but they're harmless.
> 
> Yeah... I like a good grab. :tongue:



hahaha yeah exactly! and my parents used to spank me as a child, it wasn't fun. 

give me ass grabbing and crazy sex in public places, i love it. just no spanking, it has weird familial/childhood ties for me, and i'm not into incest.


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## INFJ000

Spooky said:


> a lot of women enjoy being spanked during sexual encounters. What is the reasoning behind this?


Because we are bad!


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## INFpharmacist

Grim said:


> There might be lots of thing you'd enjoy... but could you do it?
> 
> Some people derive pleasure from being given a good swat and some domination, or have you not been reading your own thread? Take a look at sex between a man and a woman... a guy takes a part of his body and repeatedly rams it into a gal. Seems a little violent, no? Bet you don't think twice about it though... since it's so acceptable and all... when you consider that.. what gives a person pleasure becomes a subjective thing, and you have no more right to decide what I'm allowed to do and a woman to enjoy than you have to dictate what color I'm allowed to have as my favorite.
> 
> As for the rest... if it doesn't apply to you... then why get so reactive to it? Don't want people to think my false opinion hurt your feelings, do you?


I think men who are able to resist those urges are much more attractive. Sexual instincts can be expressed without moving into domination. The idea of a man knowing how much effect he has on woman is attractive, whether or not it's acted upon.

Call it being afraid or being too prude, but I think a man who knows where the line exists and teeters around it, without always having to cross it, is mind-blowing!


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## 480

INFpharmacist said:


> Call it being afraid or being too prude, but I think a man who knows where the line exists and* teeters around it, without always having to cross it, is mind-blowing!*


Always having to cross it isnt an issue, this in bold was my whole point in the original post I made that somehow got lost... crossing it from time to time is what helps it be mind-blowing... because if there was never any danger of a line being crossed then there is no excitement.

Keep in mind that just because someone else says I mean something... doesn't mean I do. Someone can misunderstand me and get their feelings hurt without me being a bad guy for it.


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## Scylla

to be fair, i think all spooky was saying is:



> Shyness has no correlation to a man's stature


which is true. because if shyness were a basis for stature? then that would mean that loud, bold men were men of bigger stature.

and really, those aren't always very sexy.

but, you know, that's just me.



> I think men who are able to resist those urges are much more attractive. Sexual instincts can be expressed without moving into domination. The idea of a man knowing how much effect he has on woman is attractive, whether or not it's acted upon.
> 
> Call it being afraid or being too prude, but I think a man who knows where the line exists and teeters around it, without always having to cross it, is mind-blowing!




that's a super interesting take. i mean, when you're thinking about it, whapping a palm against somebody's behind is _just one _physical expression of dominance, and even more - just one expression of passion. so to me, as long as you're fulfilling your "passion/attraction levels" so to speak, in whatever way may work for you - hey, that's cool with me.


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## sweetsolitude

women who are strong and dynamic and in charge of making things happen in their public life sometimes find that they overshadow a mild mannered or soft spoken man, and they don't necessarily like that. they may like or need their lover to be able to be stronger, more athletic, more assertive than them. his being dominant sexually is a great way to achieve this. giving over control during sex - when she can trust the man and her submission is not abused! - allows her a "vacation" from having to always be the one making things happen, taking care of things, thinking of things, taking charge. for this woman, it's a relief to have the man just take charge and run the show. it's a turn on to have a man do with her what he will, to man-handle her, handle her with confidence, command, authority, ownership, maybe even to be rough. 

this can be done in a way that doesn't constitute humililation or degradation. wanting to be dominated by a man, wanting a man to be more assertive than oneself, is completely different than wanting to be degraded.

from a purely physical perspective, there is a stinging, tingly physical sensation from a sharp spank that lasts a few minutes - it's intense, it heightens physical sensation - like nipple biting or clamping, or like having your lips bitten during a kiss. it's the same kind of thing.


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