# INFPs and Gatsby



## Xela (Jul 26, 2011)

Do INFPs build up their romantic interests in the same way Gatsby builds up Daisy in the great Gatsby? I know that when I am interested in someone I tend to, in my imagination, give them qualities and expectations that they don't posses nor can they live up to. Is this common?


----------



## Tamweh (Apr 11, 2011)

I would certainly argue that INFPs do this, though I'm not sure if this is true of all NFs. I have always immagined Gatsby as being an INFP simply because he is driven to achieve an ideal, unlike anybody else in the book. However, I suppose he could be another type of NF. He certainly would have to be an NF though, I don't picture him as an SJ, SP, or NT.

And now, because I love the line:

"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."


----------



## yallredyno (Dec 22, 2010)

a lot of guys tend to do this. im trying to be more aware of it now. 

fun fact: f scott fitzgerald got most of his writing motivation from how devious his wife, Zelda Sayre was.


----------



## Joshua Quoc Ngo Thomas (Jul 28, 2011)

Well, INFPs tend to forget that the person the are interested are regular people. We ignore facts, and tend to want more intimacy with that person. This happened to me over an ENFP girl, a young ENFP girl, I had opened up myself to her, but she was busy trying to be another type of person, who she thought had the perfect life, so she became superficial and wouldn't tell me what was going on, In attempt to be like her Idol she had done something... she wasn't ready for, not sex though but still upsetting. We hadn't spoken since I told her that I loved her. I Was in a parking lot when a friend finally told me, and I lost it, I kicked two cars and shouted obscenities at the road. my friend had to hold me down. It was then that I realized she was only human, in fact she was practically a child. her reason was that she wanted to be like so-n-so who does this sort of thing allot. I was struggling not to call her and shout, or text something snobby and rude, Until later that night I couldn't sleep so I got up and texted her at 4am telling her that I cared very much for her, and that I knew what had happened and that I didn't want her to be like so-n-so..... that I felt betrayed that she had entered the very small group of people that I genuinely feel some sort of attachment to and yet she tried to push me out of her life by becoming more superficial. anyway I don't know if this narrative helped at all but I think that we Infps can see great potential in others but we assume that they have reached this already, so that's why we come off as Idealists...


----------



## Tamweh (Apr 11, 2011)

@*Joshua Quoc Ngo Thomas, I agree with you, we do tend to forget the real in whoever we are currently pursuing and imho that's what Gatsby does. He became wealthy so that he might win Daisy's heart. However, he barely knows her. He spent just a few weeks with her back in his hometown before he left for the War and it was there that she stole his heart. He was never able to forget her each night he looks over the waters towards the "green light" which symbolizes her. However, he doesn't realize that all she is an ideal to him and thus the person he is chasing isn't really Daisy at all. His ideal Daisy would not have left after his death nor would she have inadvertently caused his murder. She most certainly would have left Tom immediately after learning that Gatsby was in town, an idea which she is hesitant about. Gatsby died because he was chasing his ideal, he was fighting constantly against time in order that he might once again revisit that period before the War when he was happy. He had his "boat against the current, born ceaselessly into the past." That's what makes him such a tragic character and also what makes him great- he was the only character in the book who was fighting for something, who still had a sense of the American Dream.

It is because of him not understanding that he was not chasing a reality and that his dreams would never be met, that he was effectively chasing an ideal, that makes me think that he was in INFP-an idealist. However, I know also that other NFs have a tendency towards being extremely romantic. I don't know if their romance defies realism though. This makes me cautious about labeling Gatsby an INFP simply because a.) I don't know enough about the other types, such as INFJs, to see if he would fit their description and b.) Because I'm biased.

None the less, it's still an amazing book.

Edit: sorry for making this bold but for some reason I cant turn the bold off.*


----------



## Joshua Quoc Ngo Thomas (Jul 28, 2011)

Bold gets things done.  Well that settles it Gatsby is an INFP, I mean he doesn't seem to actually spend time or enjoy his parties, Even if he went he'd be the guy in the corner playing with a cat or reading a book instead of socializing. But what personality is Daisy?


----------



## PrimrosePopinjay (Feb 2, 2012)

I could easily see Gatsby as an INFP, but could he also be an INFJ? He seemed very structured and planned throughout the entire book. I always saw Nick as possibly being the INFP. As for Daisy, ESTP all of the way!


----------



## unico (Feb 3, 2011)

I'm an INFJ, but I also idealize people. I harbored a secret love for an INFP friend for years, and eventually we got romantically involved. I was obsessive and projected my animus on him. I saw all the qualities I most loved and desired within him. He turned out to be rather abusive and dishonest and I'm still getting over that relationship. I also strongly idealized my (female) best friend, though I'm slowly getting to see her as a more "ordinary" person.


----------



## Electric Feel (Apr 1, 2010)

good topic, favorite book. waiting on christmas day for the movie (what a nice christmas present). i hope its great too. i like to imagine jay was an infp. nick? maybe, but he saw reality for what it was where gatsby saw it through rose coloured glasses. again, cant wait til the 25th of december  and yeah to answer your question, yes ive got that problem. it sucks but at the same time it doesnt.


----------

