# Quitting masturbation



## BusinessMan (Apr 21, 2011)

I decided to stop watching porn a few weeks ago due to it not being natural and affecting my performance when having sex. So far I've already started experiencing benefits from it. I see no reason to start watching it again.

After some more thinking I decided to stop masturbating all together. My theory is that if I'm horny then it means I want to have sex. By masturbating I reward myself for not getting laid. So basically it adds an extra incentive for me to approach women and escalate quickly.

I also think women can subconsciously sense which guys get laid and which ones don't. The results I've seen since stopping has been optimistic as well. Today I met a girl on the train, grabbed a beer with her a few hours later and then kissed her before she had to go home. I also set up two more dates with two different girls for later this week, both of which have boyfriends lol.

It's been like two weeks now without masturbating, and I sometimes feel like I'm about to explode, but the time I can spend masturbating is better spent going out and searching for more girls to have sex with, or to follow up with girls I met a few days before.

Keep in mind, I've become almost immune to rejection due to purposely approaching girls for about three years. I think for guys who have never approached a girl in their life, quitting masturbation probably shouldn't be the first thing you do. Instead you gotta start approaching some girls!


----------



## Ace Face (Nov 13, 2011)

Sex Addict? lol.


----------



## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

Just watch out for getting a girl preggers with the potent sperm count you have been hoarding away. It makes no difference for me and I've gotten it once weekly.


----------



## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

Good for you, Sir!

Or something.


----------



## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

I agree...at least with the stopping porn part.

I like porn to a degree, it has its place, but as someone who has worked in the adult industry who has also extensively looked into sexual psychology...masturbating alone to porn on a regular basis really is not good for your mind in terms of forming real sexual relationships with real women, and in extreme cases can be linked to weird things like aggression.

So even if you can't totally give up masturbation, I congratulate you for stopping the porn. If you're going to masturbate at all, masturbate in the shower over a girl you actually know who might be attainable. 

I'd say to even set a time frame, like no porn for six months (even if you still masturbate occasionally without it) and see how this affects your love life.


----------



## BusinessMan (Apr 21, 2011)

fourtines said:


> I agree...at least with the stopping porn part.
> 
> I like porn to a degree, it has its place, but as someone who has worked in the adult industry who has also extensively looked into sexual psychology...masturbating alone to porn on a regular basis really is not good for your mind in terms of forming real sexual relationships with real women, and in extreme cases can be linked to weird things like aggression.
> 
> ...


Yeah it fucks with your pleasure-reward circuitry and can lead to psychologically induced ED.

Btw, wanna meet up?


----------



## Slider (Nov 17, 2009)

Arghhh...ahhhhh...this post...grrraaarrrgghhh...my head!

Did you...what...ugghhhh...

Dating girls who have boyfriends. Um, yeah. Uh...


----------



## BusinessMan (Apr 21, 2011)

Slider said:


> Dating girls who have boyfriends. Um, yeah. Uh...


Different people have different ethical standards. But that's not the point of this thread so I'm not going to try justifying myself.

But if you want to make a thread about it I'll share my views on the subject.


----------



## La Li Lu Le Lo (Aug 15, 2011)

Wait, dating girl(s) with boyfriends?

That's...yeah...I don't really need to explain how bad that is...

I mean it's one thing to be promiscuous and date more than one girl at a time. It's another thing to date ones that already have boyfriends.


----------



## Slider (Nov 17, 2009)

BusinessMan said:


> Different people have different ethical standards. But that's not the point of this thread so I'm not going to try justifying myself.
> 
> But if you want to make a thread about it I'll share my views on the subject.


No, there is only ethical and unethical. I didn't make the rules. I simply understand them. You're free not to abide by them, but I won't agree with you that what you're doing is ethical.

And, for those of us who are slightly frightened by sexually transmitted diseases, masturbation is an agreeable replacement for sex.

Not that you need to know, but I had sex today and I also masturbated today.

In sum, you can do whatever you want. I don't really care. Just be careful.


----------



## So Long So Long (Jun 6, 2009)

LaLiLuLeLo said:


> Wait, dating girl(s) with boyfriends?
> 
> That's...yeah...I don't really need to explain how bad that is...
> 
> I mean it's one thing to be promiscuous and date more than one girl at a time. It's another thing to date ones that already have boyfriends.


I think it depends. There are such things as Open Relationships you know. I'm not saying that's the case here; but there are different people, different beliefs, different ideas on what it means to date someone and have sex. 

Anyways, to the topic: 

I don't think I could ever flat out quit masturbation, but being in a relationship and/or dating other people and having sex with them does change how much you masturbate and to be honest, porn doesn't really do much for me anymore. If anything it's more of a distraction from my boyfriend. 

As @fourtines said masturbating to a girl who you can actually talk to is a lot different than getting off to some half naked chick that you don't know. There can be a bit of an illusion there too, a false security even, which isn't really beneficial when it comes to sexual relations in real time.


----------



## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

Clairière de Seigle said:


> I think it depends. There are such things as Open Relationships you know. I'm not saying that's the case here; but there are different people, different beliefs, different ideas on what it means to date someone and have sex.
> 
> Anyways, to the topic:
> 
> ...


Open-relationship is such an awesome oxymoron.


----------



## BusinessMan (Apr 21, 2011)

Slider said:


> No, there is only ethical and unethical. I didn't make the rules. I simply understand them. You're free not to abide by them, but I won't agree with you that what you're doing is ethical.
> 
> And, for those of us who are slightly frightened by sexually transmitted diseases, masturbation is an agreeable replacement for sex.
> 
> ...


Fine I'll bite...

As far as I'm concerned I'm not the one cheating. Furthermore, if they're willing to cheat on their boyfriend then the relationship must've been pretty dull to begin with. In a sense I'm helping them. Lastly, in both cases it was just as much their idea to get together as mine. 

I'm not in a relationship because I know that i haven't met a girl yet who I feel like i could go exclusive with. Well, actually I have, but things just didn't work out. 

I don't think I'd sleep with a married woman, because then I can find myself being the topic of a divorce which would be a nuisance. But then again I've never had a married woman try to have sex with me, so whether I actually follow through on not doing a married woman remains to be seen.


----------



## intrasearching (Jul 15, 2011)

If you'd like, I could take on your masturbation/porn load for you so that you don't have to worry about it anymore. I've no problem with doubling up my "duties." In fact, I think I'd quite like it.


----------



## La Li Lu Le Lo (Aug 15, 2011)

Clairière de Seigle said:


> I think it depends. There are such things as Open Relationships you know. I'm not saying that's the case here; but there are different people, different beliefs, different ideas on what it means to date someone and have sex.


Well as you said, that isn't the case here.


----------



## So Long So Long (Jun 6, 2009)

LaLiLuLeLo said:


> Well as you said, that isn't the case here.


Still, just putting that possibility in your head.


----------



## Apollo Celestio (Mar 10, 2010)

BusinessMan said:


> Fine I'll bite...
> 
> As far as I'm concerned I'm not the one cheating. Furthermore, if they're willing to cheat on their boyfriend then the relationship must've been pretty dull to begin with. In a sense I'm helping them. Lastly, in both cases it was just as much their idea to get together as mine.
> 
> ...


Basically she's Eve and you're the snake. Rationalization failed.


----------



## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

Just be careful, had a friend just finish his last surgery after having his teeth knocked out of boyfriends from going on the escapade that you are.


----------



## WamphyriThrall (Apr 11, 2011)

Serious? In that case, you'll be needing this:

http://personalitycafe.com/sex-relationships/74364-wet-dreams-your-30s-men.html


----------



## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Okay 

1. We all know if you don't masturbate before a date you'll be a terrible lover because the movie _Something About Mary_ told us so.. 

2. I've seen those men out there who haven't masturbated in a while and want to approach me. They have that crazy look in their eye and drool at the corner of their mouth. I know it's either me or the doorknob to the bathroom beside me. I beg of you _please_ masturbate. I think not masturbating will in fact make you more desperate and sets you up to approach women only because you're horny. And we can sniff out the desperation when you're like that.

3. My therapist back in the day told me to masturbate not only so I'd get to know my body better and thereby have more orgasms during intercourse. In addition, masturbation was suggested to _increase my sexual appetite _ for my husband because I only thought of him when I did and it started having the Pavlovian dog effect: orgasms were soon tied to thoughts I'd have about my husband. I used these these techniques in future relationships and my sex drive has always been healthy as well as my devotion.

And in regards to dating women with boyfriends, you're single with no baggage. Why do you want to add drama? It's all fun and games until one crazy boyfriend holds a gun to your head or beats you up at the place of your employment. Believe me. Some women cheat to purposely hurt their partners _so they tell them_. You were simply a pawn to be used and may find yourself at the mercy of the flared up psycho boyfriend who wishes to kill you. So think about it. Is that attached pussy really worth it?

There is something worse that could happen. You could fall head over heels in love with somebody and give her all your trust only to fInd out she cheated on you. You would not only have to suffer the pain of betrayal, but he guilt of all you pain caused to your brethren prior.

And even worse: you'll never find love because you'll never trust. You've spent too long indulging in the dark, underhanded side of relationships. You've participated in betrayal, therefore no is trustworthy. I've seen this happen and it's such a sad, lonely road.


----------



## dagnytaggart (Jun 6, 2010)

Hmm. I hear that food and good music activates the same reward center as sex does.

So, that simultaneously means that if you ever get "pickle" cravings, so to speak, cram a Twinkie in your mouth.

However, that also rewards you for not having sex. I suppose you can flog yourself if you don't get laid within 20 minutes of horniness onset.


----------



## dagnytaggart (Jun 6, 2010)

Apollo Celestio said:


> Basically she's Eve and you're the snake. Rationalization failed.


As BusinessMan is (hopefully) seducing adults, he's not responsible for ensuring that she behaves ethically within her own relationship. The snake (a character in a myth meant to communicate *subjective* standards of ethics, mind you) intended harm, the OP just wants a mutual good time. Frankly, for a one-night stand, the partners' personal lives are none of the other's business, unless it does or could involve them.

However, he could easily get fucked up if their boyfriends find out. I won't have sympathy there, as that's the risk he took.


----------



## billymark (Nov 3, 2011)

I've always felt that masturbation was like smoking weed. It's not nearly as bad for you as your parents would have you believe but no one talks about it out loud due to it's stigma. I also think it's about as harmless. If one does it all day, everyday then there will probably be some ramifications but every once in a while is probably healthier than it is harmful. No basis for this, just an observation.


----------



## MXZCCT (May 29, 2011)

So you quit yanking it? Good for you.

Your stepping on other guy's toes fucking their girlfriends? Better watch out.

Thread Solved.


----------



## BusinessMan (Apr 21, 2011)

pinkrasputin said:


> Okay
> 
> 1. We all know if you don't masturbate before a date you'll be a terrible lover because the movie _Something About Mary_ told us so..
> 
> ...


Well I think I'm going to continue on with my experiment and see what results I get. This thread is about maximizing my sexual potential, and there's no better way than trying it out. Like I said, so far the results have been positive. I've been much more direct about my sexuality with women and as a result it brings out the sexuality in them as well. Basically, if you talk about sex then you think about sex. If you think about sex you want to have sex. 

So far I've never had a bf come at me. One girl I hooked up with two years ago is still with the same guy she was with then. I met him a year later at a party and although he did give me some funny looks, nothing happened. I have no idea if he found out or not. I agree though, I've got to know who I'm dealing with. I have had boyfriends catching me in the leadups to eventually having sex with their gf, ie reading the flirtatious text conversations between me and the chick. But it's a good idea to have an idea what the boyfriend is like before-hand, just in case. 

"Love" is a topic that probably requires a different thread, since it's a pretty deep subject. But I don't get it. I have this need to understand things, and I can't understand love. It doesn't make sense to me that some women can trigger some spot inside me that makes me go coockoo. Of course I have experienced intense emotions over girls before. I just don't like it, because rationally I know it makes no sense. And whenever I'm not around her it makes me obsess over her and unable to focus on anything else. 

Keep in mind I'm an NT, so human emotions in general are a mystery to me. When other people get emotional over something, I can immediately see the logical course of action that I would take in order to move on, so I feel no sympathy for them when they continue not doing anything about it. My cousin still isn't over his ex-gf who he broke up with over a year ago. It makes no sense to me. Whenever I obsessed over a girl and it was causing me to self-destruct, I found the best way to get over it is to go meet other women. It's so simple.


----------



## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)

You're getting laid frequently so there is no need to watch porn or fap. In my experience, the best thing to get me in the mood to fap is to fap.


----------



## BusinessMan (Apr 21, 2011)

Mutatio NOmenis said:


> You're getting laid frequently so there is no need to watch porn or fap. In my experience, the best thing to get me in the mood to fap is to fap.


I'm not getting laid as frequently as I'd like, hence the experiment.


----------



## Slider (Nov 17, 2009)

If you're not getting enough sex, when you approach women you should definitely open with the line, "Hi, I just stopped masturbating. Would you like to take part in an experiment?"


----------



## ProtectorOfKittens (Oct 13, 2011)

BusinessMan said:


> "Love" is a topic that probably requires a different thread, since it's a pretty deep subject. But I don't get it. I have this need to understand things, and I can't understand love. It doesn't make sense to me that some women can trigger some spot inside me that makes me go coockoo. Of course I have experienced intense emotions over girls before. I just don't like it, because rationally I know it makes no sense. And whenever I'm not around her it makes me obsess over her and unable to focus on anything else.
> 
> Keep in mind I'm an NT, so human emotions in general are a mystery to me.


You might want to explore your shadow side. If that's too much of a stretch, then do some reading about the psychology or the brain chemistry involved in romantic love. The fact that something is not "simple" does not mean it cannot be understood.


----------



## Napoleptic (Oct 29, 2010)

Erm, regarding cheating, why does it seem the only concern is the boyfriend getting angry - what about the boyfriend being hurt (emotionally)?

Or did I miss something?


----------



## Ace Face (Nov 13, 2011)

> Hmm. I hear that food and good music activates the same reward center as sex does.


My logic says: We should eat, listen to music, and have sex all at the same time... win-win-win ;D


----------



## Napoleptic (Oct 29, 2010)

Ace Face said:


> My logic says: We should eat, listen to music, and have sex all at the same time... win-win-win ;D


You say that now - just wait until your partner gets confused about what he's just licking and what he's biting off to chew. :shocked:

:laughing:


----------



## Ace Face (Nov 13, 2011)

@Napoleptic

Well-played, my friend... well-played


----------



## BusinessMan (Apr 21, 2011)

Napoleptic said:


> Erm, regarding cheating, why does it seem the only concern is the boyfriend getting angry - what about the boyfriend being hurt (emotionally)?
> 
> Or did I miss something?


Not to sound like an ass, but how is that my problem?


----------



## Ace Face (Nov 13, 2011)

> Not to sound like an ass, but how is that my problem?


Because it's disrespectful, and not only is it a problem, but it is YOUR problem.


----------



## BusinessMan (Apr 21, 2011)

Ace Face said:


> Because it's disrespectful, and not only is it a problem, but it is YOUR problem.


It's competition. If he doesn't want his gf to cheat on him then he should do a better job of earning her loyalty and keeping her interested.

This thread got way off topic due to my accidental slipping of that tidbit in my first post.


----------



## Ace Face (Nov 13, 2011)

Well... you reap what you sew, my dear.


----------



## La Li Lu Le Lo (Aug 15, 2011)

BusinessMan said:


> It's competition. If he doesn't want his gf to cheat on him then he should do a better job of earning her loyalty and keeping her interested.
> 
> This thread got way off topic due to my accidental slipping of that tidbit in my first post.


Loyalty was promised when they became a couple. You don't blame the victim.


----------



## Napoleptic (Oct 29, 2010)

BusinessMan said:


> Not to sound like an ass, but how is that my problem?


Generally speaking if my actions are causing someone else pain, I consider it my problem.

And what @LaiLiLuLeLo said (assuming it wasn't an open relationship).


----------



## BusinessMan (Apr 21, 2011)

LaLiLuLeLo said:


> Loyalty was promised when they became a couple. You don't blame the victim.


You're probably right. If I have to choose between a single girl and a girl in a relationship I'd obviously prefer a single girl.

But again, if the girl is willing to cheat on her boyfriend then theyre probably going to break up soon anyways.


----------



## BusinessMan (Apr 21, 2011)

Waiting said:


> You made an assumption yourself, I do not think the vast majority of societal norms are at the core moral, or that they are done with a greater good outlook in mind. As you know monkey see monkey do governs all too much to what would seem to be the majority. I believe The Criterion lies elsewhere (major hint). There are flaws in your thinking though, if action reaction is more important, then is it ok for me to tell someone a lie concerning an important matter, because it will make them feel better about it? Assume tact will not change anything in this instance, as with a very emotional person it may not.


You proves my point there bud. Every action has a reaction. The point is to think in advance about what the desirable outcome (reaction) is. If lying gets the desirable long-term reaction (all factors must be considered), then lie. 

Speaking of lying. I try to avoid lying in general because it's too much effort to keep track of them. In most cases it's less effort in the long run to tell the truth. But now I'm getting off topic.


----------



## MXZCCT (May 29, 2011)

BusinessMan said:


> I never said you did. What I was implying was that, although I have some antisocial traits, I wouldn't consider myself a full-blown sociopath.
> 
> My motivation for stopping masturbation has nothing to do with "enlightened decision making", although there is definitely some discipline required. It is purely to fully embrace the new mindset of "if I want to orgasm then I must have sex". It's my own personal theory that I'm testing to see if the amount of sex I have increases, as well as whether or not the quality improves.
> 
> ...


Your sense of self worth is quite amusing. Ill be honest with you, you will not be feeling the way you do now (unless you are a sociopath) when one day this all catches up to you. Statistically, it is only a matter of time before you receive the consequences. Considering your viewpoints on this issue, I doubt I would be way off the mark when I say that you are going after females who most likely have a lack of integrity therefore increasing your success, consequently increasing your sense of self worth.

We could all accomplish that, if we lacked the moral integrity to do so. You rationalize your actions by "not following the rules", I can see right through that defense. Its a cop-out. Now, even though you think highly of yourself, you do not have the right to judge other couples' relationships. You are not as clever as you think you are, and you certaintly are not privilaged to take other males' girlfriends because the relationship isn't 100%.


----------



## sofort99 (Mar 27, 2010)

I quit masturbation for a while, but it was mostly just because of repetitive stress injuries.


----------



## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

sofort99 said:


> I quit masturbation for a while, but it was mostly just because of repetitive stress injuries.


Frozen Snow peas or a hunk of meat?


----------



## sofort99 (Mar 27, 2010)

Snow peas. It's the choice of champions.


----------



## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

BusinessMan said:


> You proves my point there bud. Every action has a reaction. The point is to think in advance about what the desirable outcome (reaction) is. If lying gets the desirable long-term reaction (all factors must be considered), then lie.
> 
> Speaking of lying. I try to avoid lying in general because it's too much effort to keep track of them. In most cases it's less effort in the long run to tell the truth. But now I'm getting off topic.


In other words, you value things, people, events only insofar as they can serve you and (what you feel at a given moment are) your interests. It's subjective in other words. There is no objective, moral code that you feel can, should or does govern your actions despite what you might subjectively desire. 

You obviously think highly of yourself and your intelligence, especially relative to other people. Do you think this is arrogance on your part?

What is your concept of respect? Also, I'd like to hear your thoughts on the Golden Rule, particularly whether that's a good external, objective standard that you should apply to yourself (meaning, you'd treat someone the way you'd want to be treated, even if you didn't feel like it at a given moment because, for example, they were not treating you decently).


----------



## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

[redundant post]


----------



## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

BusinessMan said:


> Speaking of lying. I try to avoid lying in general because it's too much effort to keep track of them. In most cases it's less effort in the long run to tell the truth. But now I'm getting off topic.


People of high intelligence can lie and make it work for their best interest, takes a lot of brain power to keep track off all that stuff you say that never really happened.


----------



## redmanXNTP (May 17, 2011)

Thomas D M Thompson said:


> People of high intelligence can lie and make it work for their best interest, takes a lot of brain power to keep track off all that stuff you say that never really happened.


In the short term, probably. Longer term, no. People do figure out liars over time, not least because no matter how hard you try, successfully lying makes you more bold about lying and complacent about being found out. It builds your arrogance, and if you're already intelligent that's a high risk anyway. 

...you can fool all of the people some of the time...


----------



## Thomas D M Thompson (Sep 14, 2011)

redmanXNTP said:


> In the short term, probably. Longer term, no. People do figure out liars over time, not least because no matter how hard you try, successfully lying makes you more bold about lying and complacent about being found out. It builds your arrogance, and if you're already intelligent that's a high risk anyway.
> 
> ...you can fool all of the people some of the time...


One of the CEO's of Enron (the asian guy lol) was apart of a massive lie, huge that went on for years and got out before shit hit the fan because he was smart. His hands are completely washed clean and he owns most of the land in colorado now, has a wife that used to be a stripper and lives in a McVilla.


----------



## Mercer (Nov 6, 2009)

BusinessMan said:


> I decided to stop watching porn a few weeks ago due to it not being natural and affecting my performance when having sex. So far I've already started experiencing benefits from it. I see no reason to start watching it again.
> 
> After some more thinking I decided to stop masturbating all together. My theory is that if I'm horny then it means I want to have sex. By masturbating I reward myself for not getting laid. So basically it adds an extra incentive for me to approach women and escalate quickly.
> 
> ...


huh?
oh sorry i wasn't paying attention. i was masturbating.
:3


----------



## ilphithra (Jun 22, 2010)

I have a lot of words I could say to the OP of this thread... none of them would be nice or deemed proper to expose here however...

Now... what was I doing...? Oh yeah....

*goes back to masturbating in front of GF.... because it's FUN*


----------



## BusinessMan (Apr 21, 2011)

redmanXNTP said:


> In other words, you value things, people, events only insofar as they can serve you and (what you feel at a given moment are) your interests. It's subjective in other words. There is no objective, moral code that you feel can, should or does govern your actions despite what you might subjectively desire.


I never said that. I said that the goal must be to focus on the desirable outcome. This doesn't just apply to the topic of this thread, but to everything. The desirable outcome is subjective, as it is dependent on what each individual wants. That is why it is important to know what everyone in the group wants, so as not to cause yourself to be alienated. Like I put in the brackets in my last post, ALL factors should be considered.

I have morals, but they're not the same as the morals emphasized by society.



redmanXNTP said:


> You obviously think highly of yourself and your intelligence, especially relative to other people. Do you think this is arrogance on your part?


I wouldn't admit this to many people who I know in real life, but I do feel a bit superior to most due to my intelligence. I know it sounds arrogant. I also know there are people out there who are smarter than me. For the most part I make an effort to appear humble. It makes life easier and also keeps my eyes open for new opportunities.

Some people are extremely good at writing, and therefore that is what they value most in life. I value intelligence and determination, the two traits I have more of than most people I've come across. I also make a strong effort to surround myself with other people who also have those traits.

About a year ago I was at a conference, and one of the speakers was Savannah Ross (from Rich Mom). She told us to list the five people we spend the most time with. After everyone did that she said "you are the average of those five people". It was most definitely a somewhat generalized conclusion, but it was also true. Since that day I have been making a conscious effort to surround myself with people who have achieved what I want to achieve, and I have noticed an increase in my productivity and confidence, as well as an improvement in my mental strength.

To further prove Savannah Ross's statement, four years ago was when I'd say I hit rock bottom, relative to the rest of my life. I was in second year of university, smoking weed every day, and all of the people I talked to were other stoners. I didn't respect them, and I'm pretty sure they didn't respect me, but we had one thing in common, and that was that we liked getting high. At this point in time I was insecure, lacked confidence in social settings and then one day experienced the onset of OCD.

Looking back, I now realize that the people who I spent my time with were dragging me down. I was the average of them. In January of 2008 I quit smoking weed cold turkey and stopped talking to those people. I haven't blazed or spoken to any of those people since then. I got treatment for the OCD and I started working heavily on my confidence and social skills. It was at this point that I really started getting to know myself. I still didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, but I suddenly had clarity of thought that I hadn't had in a long time.

Since then I've had numerous epiphanies about life, what I want from it, and how I will get what I want. I got to know myself better than ever, but I also realized I will never be done learning. There will always be more to learn about the world, as well as myself. Somewhere in this time period I realized that religion doesn't make sense to me. I also kept coming across situations where people act in certain ways, or carry out certain rituals, that simply were inefficient and made no sense. This led to my starting to live life based on my own opinions. I always asked a lot of questions as a child, but at this point I started questioning everything down to it's core. I started forming my own philosophies and ideologies, and these continue to change as I get continue to learn more about myself and the world.

I am happy with the person I've become, but I'm not satisfied yet. My ambitions are higher than anyone I know. I could write a book on everything I'd like to achieve in life (including making a notable difference in how our society uses energy). I know my strengths, and I know my weaknesses. I don't know all of them yet, though, as I keep discovering more strengths and weaknesses. But my mind is now more open to perceiving the world than it has ever been before.

A lot of my time is spent thinking about myself, but not in a narcissistic way. When I think about myself it is objective. I reflect on my experiences and learn from them, ultimately to reach my full potential. We only have one life, and I don't see the point of just living a certain way just because that's what society taught us. I want to make a difference, but in order to do that I have to work on myself all the time. 

So do I think I'm arrogant? I can see how I can come across that way. I used to brag more, until I realized it's an undesirable trait and leads to social alienation. I have large goals and dreams which I am actively working towards, and I enjoy talking about them. But I've realized that this also turns MOST people off, so now I try to appear normal around "normal" people, and only when I meet people with a similar mindset as myself do I open up about what I truly want from life. I've found that the number of people I can relate with is becoming less, which concerns me a bit. But ultimately it will be worth it, I think, since I know that if I continue working hard I will make a positive difference.



redmanXNTP said:


> What is your concept of respect? Also, I'd like to hear your thoughts on the Golden Rule, particularly whether that's a good external, objective standard that you should apply to yourself (meaning, you'd treat someone the way you'd want to be treated, even if you didn't feel like it at a given moment because, for example, they were not treating you decently).


My decisions aren't based on how people treat me. I don't believe people should respect me just for the sake of respect. If people are going to respect me (something I aim for, if I'm going to be honest), then I need to deserve it. Similarly, I don't respect everyone. In fact, there are a limited number of people in this world who I respect on the deepest level.

This brings up the question, how do I treat the people who lack my respect? I treat them the same as I treat strangers who I don't know; I'm friendly, sociable, but distant. I'm not going to force a friendship with someone who I consider to be "average".


----------



## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

I'll stop masturbating when I find a partner who wants to fuck me 14 times a week.


----------



## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

BusinessMan said:


> I never said that. I said that the goal must be to focus on the desirable outcome. This doesn't just apply to the topic of this thread, but to everything. The desirable outcome is subjective, as it is dependent on what each individual wants. That is why it is important to know what everyone in the group wants, so as not to cause yourself to be alienated. Like I put in the brackets in my last post, ALL factors should be considered.
> 
> I have morals, but they're not the same as the morals emphasized by society.
> 
> ...


how are you defining respect? because the way I see it, if someone doesn't respect me, I leave. obviously, I can't just beat people into submission until they respect (though I might be open to this option if it were possible) but I can leave if they don't and I do have the expectation of at least a base line of respect before entering into any kind of social or intimate relationship, even if that person is a 50 year old CEO, I will never be friends with anyone who talks down to me. I'm pretty intelligent too, and I don't blame you for being a bit of a snob about it, but I believe I'm extremely valuable simply for existing. I have tremendous respect and value for myself simply because I love myself and I can. the idea of letting an external thing control how much respect I have for myself is rather distasteful.
which goes back to my question, how do you define respect? because I could just be reading you wrong and we may actually agree


----------

