# Which type makes the best parent?



## m89 (Jul 15, 2016)

Every type can be a good parent of course and everyone who posted gets that, no doubt. This being said, I think an ideal parent is responsible and concerned ; both of these traits are not really correlated to type. At least not closely. Basic needs such as love and respect are going to be important for all types. Ditto what everyone else said.

Type-wise, tho, I think an ideal parent is well tailored to supply the type-related needs of their child. For myself, an ENTP, I think my ENFJ father and my ISTP mother (atypical pair if I know one !!) are ideal. 
I'm gonna vote ISTP because my mom was critical of the way she was raised and decided to do things differently with her own children. ISTPs are independent of tought and concerned with equality. I really needed that in a parent.


----------



## _XXX_ (Oct 25, 2014)

< ISTP

I have never been told I'm not a good parent.
I don't expect anyone else to take responsibility for my child besides myself. Highly responsible mother in a no-nonsense, fun kind of way.

All about teaching them *LIFE SKILLS *that will serve them well as they get older.

My kid is an early-teen and already leaps and bounds ahead of other children their age in practical development (cooks dinner from scratch, manages their own bank savings account, washes their clothes, gets good grades, extremely tech savvy, etc). Currently teaching them outdoorsy skills; how to make fire with flint, set up tents, etc. All taught by me. roud: So proud.

My entire goal is to make sure they are skilled, prepared and equipped to handle anything.


----------



## Chatter Fox (Feb 25, 2016)

I didn't vote. I agree with the majority in how the answer really is not limited to a single MB type.

I think it depends on a lot of things.

Drawing from my personal history, part of me wishes that I had an INFP father (since I'm INFP). I think he is ISTJ. I really could never have good heart to heart talks with the guy. We were so similar yet so different. We are both extremely introverted. So it's hard to get the ball rolling on discussions. So, that similarity worked against us. Also, he was very practical and blunt and down to earth. When I went to him for support, he gave practical advice when I just wanted someone that understood me and could tell me that my line of thinking was perfectly fine ... even though it went a bit against the grain. All of that adds up to a father and son that never quite connected. We still aren't terribly close today.

My mother is ESFJ. I could never ask for a different mom. We were very close and still are to this day. She has her little mom quirks that drive me nuts but for the most part she was amazing. She was easy to talk to and she usually knew how to support me. The only thing she kind of struggled with was with allowing me to continue down less traditional or practical paths. I felt a bit like my career dreams / aspirations were not quite acceptable. I wish I had more encouragement to chase my dreams. Here's the thing though, I turned out pretty good and I have a practical career that pays the bills. It's not my dream job but it feeds me and my family. So, her practicality drove me to acheive that sort of success in life. Had I had someone that didn't keep my feet firmly planted on the ground, I may have ended up being a starving artist that wished he could earn a better living.

So I don't know. Part of me thinks that having a parent that shares your type could be amazing. The other part of me realizes that having parents that have differing values / world views can round you out more or help you expand your horizons a bit. I'm conflicted a bit by all of it. I think the most important part is that parents allow their children to be who they are. That much is true regardless of how types line up.


----------



## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

I am not going to pretend to be the best parent in every aspect. I have my Achilles Heel. (But doesnt everyone). 

What I will say that myself as an estp is credited for often by many people. Is how authentic and real I keep it with my kids. I am told by many people I am a good mother in these regards (their words not mine). I am a strong female role model, I tell my kids like it is, and we have an authentic dynamic. That is generally speaking. 

Now individually. My eldest happens to be estp as well. You would think that were a great pair estp mother and estp daughter. But the biggest issue is definitely so much strong will at play. I might be estp and not huge on hierarchy in society. But within my home I expect certain compliance. Overall I try and treat it like a democracy where I am president but they can represent their issues. I am not just simply my way or the highway. But when she challenges me blatant outside of the perimeters I find appropriate well we are like a giant mushroom cloud. The pros would definitely be getting each other. ie off the cuff remarks, sarcasm and humor. She wants me to exploit her. Lol yes you heard me correctly. She is a performer in dance and music and wants me to be her manager and use my promoter skills (um I actually do not as a mother feel comfortable with that, ie I am not trying to groom a child star, and I have pushed that sort of promotion off and told her, her character needs to develop more before she is entertaining regularly). But she admires and trusts my ability and judgement to promote her and represent her. I am a photographer on the side she is usually requesting I go and take head shots for her. I actually evade this because of this selfie generation she is being brought up in. Trying to get across to her she is more then the initial product. Its about the final product. ie I want a child who is well groomed for success in all aspects not just the lime light. She is very rational and reasonable tho and understands why I hold her off in general from that. Estps are called the promoters for a reason. I could package her easily. But I think that is heinous and horrible parenting. (Ie dance, pageant, soccer, football, hockey parents). I told her she would be better serviced to herself learning the industry from the ground in singing in actual long recordings or practicing with bands then instant recognition from karaoke performances. The other thing is she is boy crazy. Not that weird for an Se dom. But fuck it annoys me. I was different then her in this regard. I was more of the estp girl clocking boys in the face if I had a crush on them (at least when I was 13). She however based on growing up in a social media generation is into flirting. Another thing she does that drives me crazy is stir the pot, socially she reacts to too much happening (I did this alot myself) but its terrible to be on the sidelines to watch. So alot of our dynamic is her being annoyed I have sat so much in her shoes and can call her card so damn easy. (She wants to identify her own experiences as her own which of course many are but unfortunately for her I can call alot of what she is doing too, of course that is annoying to her)

My youngest I have only established is Ne user and a feeler. I am not sure tho if she is NFP or SFJ. Cons well she is never on the same page with myself or my eldest in terms of jokes etc so she is always feeling like the odd ball out (it bugs me she feels that way, as her mother I do not mock her I love her but her sister can be such a jerk about making her feel out of the loop). Other con she is always talking about nothing being fair. (eh life is not fair is my general mentality) With her ideology she wants life to be sculpted around what she sees injust or unfair. Myself tho believes in adjusting around the world not the world being shaped around my ideals. She can take me as harsh even when I am not meaning to be harsh (and I am sitting there like wtf did I just say). Pros she loves cuddles from me. She has always been like a koala bear with me as her mommy. She truly appreciates my caress I soothe and comfort her just with an embrace in a way I know something she fundamentally needs being the softy she is. So we do not always need words as a means to connect. Even tho I do not personally connect with Ne I do recognize how important it is to nurture her math and science and artistic abstract imagination and usually help her channel keeping that alive. (So I am not trying to force her out of her strengths into my strengths) but instead help her grow her own strengths and channel that energy. I think in that way I am a good parent I am not trying to force a certain hobby interest, but just channel and enhance the strength my kids have and teach them to pull from that. ie not trying to just teach them to tackle life from my own expertise but how to weaponize their own strengths as an asset. I treat them as individuals and teach the how to capitalize on their own strengths. (not mine only, altho my biggest strength is recognizing these things in others and kind of finding a path)

Actually both of my kids love my caresses which is probably my life line in terms of providing comfort god knows I suck at comforting people verbally as usually if I do say anything its just along the lines of sucking it up or finding the silver lining which is not always what people want to hear. 

Both of my kids will be equipped to deal with the world tho. I think they will be more competent and stronger women yet know they were loved because they grew up with a mix. Ie most emotional thinker type. So a weird contrast of mush and ice. Anyways I think I listed alot of positive and negative not just one or the other. But made a strong case why an ESTP parent is under represented in this poll. 

You know my ex husband is ENFP (we actually coparent very well and compliment each other well) he is also a great parent in a contrast to ways I am not. So I think in some regard it has to do with the combo involved. Of two parents. Our kids have their issues and will have their bones to pick I am sure but overall between the combo they have a pretty damn nice balance.


----------



## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Any type can be a good parent, or a bad parent, because: 

It isn't about type.


----------

