# How Do You Know That You're (subtype)-last?



## The Scorched Earth (May 17, 2010)

Whatever the third subtype is in your stacking (Sx-last, Sp-last, or Soc-last), how do you know that that is your blindspot? Has the fact that it is your blindspot been a problem in your life?


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## ScientiaOmnisEst (Oct 2, 2013)

Sx-last

Process of elimination, really. I'm not (or at least, I don't see myself) as an intense, passionate person, though at times I wish I was. Actually, I'm pretty dull most of the time. I don't really have a need for that kind of stuff. Plus, intense people kind of freak me out.


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## Tetsuo Shima (Nov 24, 2014)

So-last.

Because fuck society.


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## enneathusiast (Dec 15, 2012)

The Scorched Earth said:


> how do you know that that is your blindspot?


Because other people are aware of something I'm not. It often has to be pointed out to me or I have to be reminded of what other's are focused on (whether other people remind me or I make it a point to remind myself).


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## PoloniumCyanide (Aug 17, 2015)

SX last- Because as intense as I can be, I don't crave intimacy at all, I can't indulge the sx side of myself without first being entirely comfortable with someone on my first two instinctual levels.


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## clay (Nov 9, 2012)

I'm Sx last for sure. I'm one of the most dispassionate people i know. I never had this dream of what i want to be. I don't have this long term goal to strive for other than to have fun and enjoy myself. The "dream" i have i wouldn't even call a dream at all it's more of a vision, an interesting imagination. For example, I can see myself doing every job in world from: policeman, professional poker player, doctor, stripper, musician, make-up artist etc. I see what I would enjoy and dislike about all jobs, but I don't have a drive to do any. All I care about is do I have enough money to take care of my needs and comforts. Everything else is secondary.


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## lactosecat (May 29, 2011)

Sp last. The concept of self anatomy just doesn't appeal to me. I have sacrificed my own time and stuff in favor of connecting with others. Taking care of myself isn't a priority until I started to suffer health consequences..I also always end up forgetting to pay my bills and getting official documents and stuff done in a timely manner. (any other sp lasts also very grateful for auto-pay options some of your services have?) I always have to take an extra step to maintain myself and doing so feels very irritating.. I *always* manage to forget my needs

I also have reckless money spending skills. I don't have savings that would help me out in case of anything but I do save up because I hate seeing my bank account with very little cash as that makes me feel like a sore loser compared to others. I would probably also never attend my check ups unless my mom would remind me to do so because I never remember these things lol (I'm also still young so don't make fun of me for still depending on my mom for these things hehe)

Yes being sp last has been a huge problem as I can never seem to get my shit together. The only thing that motivates to take care of myself is maintaining my appearance.


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## charlie.elliot (Jan 22, 2014)

SP- last. 

For some reason, I have a really hard time ever eating enough food and as a result I'm always hungry. Its really annoying. 
I've never particularly wanted autonomy, I've always wanted to be connected to others in some way. In college, I never shut my dorm room door; usually I didnt even sit in my dorm room, but if I had to, I always left the door open. 
I don't care if I get hurt. The other day I was doing hot-glue crafts with some kids and I kept dripping hot glue on my hand even though it was preventable, but I just didnt care. I'll just pick up hot dishes without a pot holder and deal with it.
I consistently forget to ever bring along what I need, like a snack, water bottle, umbrella, coat, etc. Which is annoying. 

The thing is, though, I'm also highly sensitive. I hate being cold or hungry; I just can't tolerate it. So that helps me learn some self-pres skills. If I weren't highly sensitive, I'd probably have terrible self-preservation.


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## Recede (Nov 23, 2011)

Social last:

I'm blind to anything social: culture, society, community, groups, politics, social roles, stereotypes, trends, celebrities, etc. All those things that are said to be shared knowledge or values within culture or society. Those things are mostly foreign to me.


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## Tetsuo Shima (Nov 24, 2014)

Fe last because I think the concept of unconditional love is as retarded as the whole world seems to think I am, and I see no reason to help anybody when nobody gives me any respect in this dog eat dog world.


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## voicetrocity (Mar 31, 2012)

ScientiaOmnisEst said:


> Sx-last
> 
> Process of elimination, really.that kind of stuff.



Same here. I decided I'm So second, because I notice social stuff/ indulge in it-but I can take it or leave it. That left Sx and Sp as my dominant. I chose Sp as my dominant, because it's the first thing I notice when it's deprived. _"Omg! My home is a mess and I decided breakfast wasn't important- what the heck is going on? "_

I also realize when I'm in the presence of an Sx dom/ am way too attracted to them, for being opposite me to actually be one myself .


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## Bathilda (Nov 4, 2014)

Sx-last.

I'm pretty passionate and I like love (and sex) a bunch, so it was hard for me. But whenever anyone starts talking about energy, merging, soul-union, animalistic urges, irresistible tides of emotion, riding waves of spirit, heaving of bosoms, ripping of bodices, pulsating with unquenchable need, and following your true self without regard for future consequences, the strangest expression creeps over my face...






​


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## Despotic Nepotist (Mar 1, 2014)

So-last. The pull of these two instincts is so strong that I can't be anything but an sx/sp or sp/sx. I do seek intense experiences, but my natural tendency towards the sp instinct can be both a blessing and a nuisance that gets in the way, hence sp/sx. Sx/sp is also likely, but I relate more to the "iciness" associated with sp/sx's.


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## 0+n*1 (Sep 20, 2013)

Sx-last. I do care about being intense and I'm insecure about it. I feel I am pretty on and off. Not being intense is a source of shame. I crave some intimacy with others but I am not really good at it, I'm either too intimate or too aloof and reserved. Maybe it has nothing to do with sx and it's more about love which is universal, but I also think it's stupid to have as a goal the search for intimacy or the right one or whatever other shit. I look down on people that grieve over not having it or losing it. Media is plagued with these themes and I rarely relate to any of them.


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## Lord Bullingdon (Aug 9, 2014)

I could make a persuasive argument for each of the 3 instincts being last with me. Right now I'm more "protest" typed as sx last for these very reasons, this just says it all:



Bathilda said:


> But whenever anyone starts talking about energy, merging, soul-union, animalistic urges, irresistible tides of emotion, riding waves of spirit, heaving of bosoms, ripping of bodices, pulsating with unquenchable need, and following your true self without regard for future consequences, the strangest expression creeps over my face...


I've only ever seen anyone talking about this on online forums, fwiw.


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## fair phantom (Mar 5, 2015)

sp-last 

I'm terrible when it comes to taking care of my health. I'll constantly sacrifice it to pursue my so- and sx- related concerns. It really took getting a chronic health problem to get me to pay attention to it at all. And I'll do things like travel alone even when it is dangerous because of a desire for intense experiences. I don't think I'm reckless per se, it is just other desires take precedence. I also don't have much interest in most sp topics, nor do I give them much thought. Even when I seem too pursue sp things, it is generally not for sp reasons (like exercising not for health but out of shame or a desire to be attractive).


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## ScientiaOmnisEst (Oct 2, 2013)

Bathilda said:


> Sx-last.
> 
> I'm pretty passionate and I like love (and sex) a bunch, so it was hard for me. But whenever anyone starts talking about energy, merging, soul-union, animalistic urges, irresistible tides of emotion, riding waves of spirit, heaving of bosoms, ripping of bodices, pulsating with unquenchable need, and following your true self without regard for future consequences, the strangest expression creeps over my face...
> 
> View attachment 379250​


Oh my God, _this exactly_. It's not that I wouldn't like to be passionate about something, or to love someone intensely. It's just a really suppressed part of my personality and seeing people be so...openly intense is freaky.


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## The Scorched Earth (May 17, 2010)

I am Social-last. 

I know this because I have little to no interest in the venues that people use to feel connected to other people or to be a part of something that's "bigger than they are" (including social media, which explains why I don't post here much anymore). When I look at other people (presumably Social-first or -second) who seem to be always attuned to the latest happenings in news, sports, and miscellaneous gossip, I don't look on them with admiration or envy; I only think about how exhausting it must be to be so knowledgeable about stuff that really is no concern to me at all. Because of that, I don't really read or watch the news, I don't give a damn about celebrity gossip or pop culture, and as for sports, I follow some sports (soccer mainly) but more because of the inherent drama of those sports than any sense of identity or status that most fans probably feel from whatever team they follow.

I don't seek shelter or strength in any community; during the infrequent periods that I am interested in socializing, it's either with one particular person or several others at most. Because of this, I'm usually alone but not because I enjoy solitude that much (I don't actually) but because I don't have anyone around me that I'm close to or intimate with. This used to torture me when I was younger, but now I just say "Whatever. More time to focus on building my life now."

Being social-last bothers my family more than it's ever bothered me. I lost count of the number of times that my parents practically kicked me out of the house to go play with the other kids in the neighborhood, whom I hated being around. I still get flak from my mother for not making more of an effort to engage with my relatives, but I have neither the time nor energy to engage with people I have nothing in common with besides DNA/blood. This might come to a head some day but right now, it is simply not a priority.

I'm amazed at all the Sx-last replies here. I suspect most people in real life are Sx-last, which probably explains why I don't get out much. -_-


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## d e c a d e n t (Apr 21, 2013)

ScientiaOmnisEst said:


> Oh my God, this exactly. It's not that I wouldn't like to be passionate about something, or to love someone intensely. It's just a really suppressed part of my personality and seeing people be so...openly intense is freaky.





The Scorched Earth said:


> I know this because I have little to no interest in the venues that people use to feel connected to other people or to be a part of something that's "bigger than they are" (including social media, which explains why I don't post here much anymore). When I look at other people (presumably Social-first or -second) who seem to be always attuned to the latest happenings in news, sports, and miscellaneous gossip, I don't look on them with admiration or envy; I only think about how exhausting it must be to be so knowledgeable about stuff that really is no concern to me at all.


I do like the contrast between these replies.

Anyway, I don't find it super-obvious which instinct is my last, but I considered sx-last because I have some uneasiness with intimacy and such. Also, cannot see myself doing something like this:


fair phantom said:


> And I'll do things like travel alone even when it is dangerous because of a desire for intense experiences.


Although that might be more about me not being Sp-last.


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## star tripper (Sep 1, 2013)

I started realizing I only participate in seemingly sp-related matters for sx and so reasons and that I've always "faked" having boundaries to not seem desperate or codependent on those who have sp in their stacking. One time, I became vaguely aware of someone pushing some boundary I had deep deep down and I chose to ignore it. Whatever it was, it had to be less important than the object of my fixation.


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## Animal (May 29, 2012)

I am somewhat torn between Sx/Sp and Sx/So because arguably everything I do is for Sx reasons. I have a chronic illness, so I take care of my health for purely Sp reasons, such as.. you know, _not dying_... but I would imagine that most people, regardless of stacking, would be proactive about their health in this circumstance.


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## Entropic (Jun 15, 2012)

I left this post on Facebook:

The story goes that I had this nagging feeling that sx/sp wasn't quite right for some time but I couldn't say how. Mostly intellectually speaking because I didn't understand sp nor so very well and sx always described me well so that made sense either way in comparison to the other two. 

Mostly, what shows how I'm sp last is how I strongly devalue anything sp-related in the end. While I care for money, it doesn't seem to be quite the nervous compulsion that I've seen in sp types and I often think that having a good life with great life experiences and intense connection is what trumps the security-focus you find with those who strongly favor sp. Not just security in the sense of possessions, but security in having a home, a security-system that is there to back you up when things go awry (I didn't have a home insurance for quite a long time until my dad said it's very important, lol), and a feeling of seeking to put one's own survival at the forefront in general. I don't do that. I can be selfish but I can also be extremely self-sacrificing, and not just for people I care about but people in general around me. 

It's difficult for me to deny other people who ask for help no matter how well I know them or not, and there's this sharing of myself that I don't think you quite see in sp types. Sp types are as I wrote, more insular, and more reserved, like the example in the above. They want to keep things more to themselves and it most of all include themselves. I've been accused of having too permeable boundaries this way, because what I above all else value is connection to others and I'll go quite the length to keep the connection going. 

It's not just an sx need though of course sx craves connection, but it's the failure of sp where I'll say enough is enough of giving out of myself to others, even when I probably shouldn't because the people aren't the right kinds of people or reciprocate enough in the way that is satisfying or meaningful in return. I'm also very public about myself in ways that I think sp types aren't either. Sp types like their "secrets" where they keep their lives intact and limited to their own little space. There's an unwillingness to how much they want to share of themselves with other people including their private parts in life. In such a way I think many strong sp types may confuse themselves for type 5 privacy. We for example see this similarity in Naranjo's description of the sp 8 who is the most 5-ish 8, precisely because of how sp hoards not only that which concerns home, health and money, but also of the self in general and I don't have that. I have a bit too much of a YOLO attitude towards life sometimes, I think, which isn't healthy to me. It feels like I'm finally beginning to sober up a little because I realize I need to do something about this because people around me are getting genuinely worried. That's how I figure I'm sp last.


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## The Scorched Earth (May 17, 2010)

Animal said:


> I am somewhat torn between Sx/Sp and Sx/So because arguably everything I do is for Sx reasons. I have a chronic illness, so I take care of my health for purely Sp reasons, such as.. you know, _not dying_... but I would imagine that most people, regardless of stacking, would be proactive about their health in this circumstance.


Yeah, doing what you have to do so that you don't die is a pretty low bar for Sp.


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## WardRhiannon (Feb 1, 2012)

I've been accused of not being passionate enough about certain things when I just don't feel like talking about them. I also find it hard to warm up to the men I date.


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## The Exception (Oct 26, 2010)

ScientiaOmnisEst said:


> Sx-last
> 
> Process of elimination, really. I'm not (or at least, I don't see myself) as an intense, passionate person, though at times I wish I was. Actually, I'm pretty dull most of the time. I don't really have a need for that kind of stuff. Plus, intense people kind of freak me out.


I'm mostly the same. SX last also. Either 5w6 or 9w1, I keep going back and forth between the two. I do think I can be intense though but it's a different kind of intensity than what others would typically think of as intense. Mentally intense. I'm also passionate about things, but again, it's not what people typically think of as passionate. Instead of passionate in terms of love, it's passionate about the things in life I enjoy. Personality theories, music, etc. Most people would probably see me as rather dull on first glance and not give me a second glance. 

Overall, I far prefer stability to intensity which suggests SP is higher than SX in the stacking. 

I also don't need intimate relationships or significant others to feel complete. I can go long periods of time without dating anyone and I'm fine with that. Right now I actually like being single and not tied down to anyone although if the right one comes along that's great too.


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## galactic collision (May 1, 2014)

Tetsuo Shima said:


> So-last.
> 
> Because fuck society.


This is not me calling your typing into question, but "fuck society" is not super solid evidence for SO-last IMO. Lots of anti-establishment, anti-society, lone wolf or counter-culture people are SO-first. I would say there are almost as many SO-first "misfits" as there are SO-first "social butterflies." I myself have found myself dancing between the two, and have landed on the "fuck society" side of things many times. 

Again, not trying to suggest you're not SO-last, just saying (since this thread is about how you know your last instinct) that not fitting into society or wanting to fit into society doesn't mean SO is the last instinct in your stacking.


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## Tetsuo Shima (Nov 24, 2014)

just for the spark said:


> This is not me calling your typing into question, but "fuck society" is not super solid evidence for SO-last IMO. Lots of anti-establishment, anti-society, lone wolf or counter-culture people are SO-first. I would say there are almost as many SO-first "misfits" as there are SO-first "social butterflies." I myself have found myself dancing between the two, and have landed on the "fuck society" side of things many times.
> 
> Again, not trying to suggest you're not SO-last, just saying (since this thread is about how you know your last instinct) that not fitting into society or wanting to fit into society doesn't mean SO is the last instinct in your stacking.


Well, I know I'm Sp first because I want to be remembered long beyond my demise. And Sx second because even though I'm not interested in sex, I do always want to present myself as cool and badass, which is an Sx thing I've noticed.


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## galactic collision (May 1, 2014)

Tetsuo Shima said:


> Well, I know I'm Sp first because I want to be remembered long beyond my demise. And Sx second because even though I'm not interested in sex, I do always want to present myself as cool and badass, which is an Sx thing I've noticed.


Why is wanting to be remembered SP? I'm SP-last and I would love to be remembered long beyond my demise.


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## Kitfool (Oct 24, 2012)

Sp last, pretty obviously. I am a huge slob, horrible with money, cannot control my sleeping habits at all, put off important things till the last possible second, drink and smoke and experiment with drugs repeatedly, find it very hard to do anything I don't desperately WANT to do, even if it would benefit me in the long run, cannot stick to a routine for shit, will avoid eating until I am doubled over in agony, don't give a shit about my surroundings or the temperature, will intentionally injure myself to show off or get a laugh, never go to the doctor, am constantly blowing every dollar I have, never open my bills until collections starts harassing me, I'm afraid to check my credit score, I can't be trusted to take care of a living thing, I live like a child without a babysitter when my girlfriend is not around, there is not a serious bone in my body, I come on way too strong and get involved with more projects and groups than I could possibly keep up with, I loan people huge amounts of money and don't really care if they ever pay me back until I run out of money myself, I am not at all grounded in the physical/material world, I have no respect for boundaries, possessions or personal space. Etc, etc etc.


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## Tetsuo Shima (Nov 24, 2014)

just for the spark said:


> Why is wanting to be remembered SP? I'm SP-last and I would love to be remembered long beyond my demise.


Well, isn't that self-reservation?


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## galactic collision (May 1, 2014)

Tetsuo Shima said:


> Well, isn't that self-reservation?


No, self preservation is about taking care of your basic needs (food, money, security) for yourself as a priority. Not literally preserving your memory when you die. It's more about survival than it is about what will happen post-mortem. All the instincts are, because they are survival instinct. Social is survival in a group, sexual is survival with an intimate partner, self pres is survival on your own (to put it all VERY simply...obviously the underlying motivations and anxieties make a quick summary much more difficult to do)


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## Tetsuo Shima (Nov 24, 2014)

just for the spark said:


> No, self preservation is about taking care of your basic needs (food, money, security) for yourself as a priority. Not literally preserving your memory when you die. It's more about survival than it is about what will happen post-mortem. All the instincts are, because they are survival instinct. Social is survival in a group, sexual is survival with an intimate partner, self pres is survival on your own (to put it all VERY simply...obviously the underlying motivations and anxieties make a quick summary much more difficult to do)


I'd still say I'm Sp first because I'm a loner. I'm just not good at taking care of myself.


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