# How can you tell an ESTP and ESFP apart???



## Lucky Luciano

workaholicsanon said:


> I agree, and ESFPs touch people more ( in a huggy way).
> 
> Of those I know of each type to illustrate the difference
> 
> ESTP guy -- would poke my shoulder with one finger when passing by; I also saw him slap a girl on
> 
> ESFP guy -- would gently touch my shoulder or hand while talking when he is excited about a point he is making or for emphasis. Also very free with the hugs to girls and guys.


I must be a deviant then because I like hugging my mates, guys and girls, for a while I thought I am ESFP but I read descriptions and thought nah, this aint me. But sure everybody is a person and has different quirks, four letters don´t define anyone.


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## Leila

cty85 said:


> the ESFP is more people oriented, fun playful sensitive and outgoing.
> they grasp technical ideas less easily, relate more to people than to technical ideas
> they are very close friends, they know everything to say or do in a social setting, they make you happy, regardless of the activity, but not necesarily the most interesting
> 
> the ESTP is more project oriented, similiarly but more blunt, offensive and straight to the point
> they grasp technical ideas rather easily, have many ideas, but never really want to get too close to you
> they are more touch and go, at everyone, they like to disturb others, give you a good time, but at the end of the day still do their own thing, with much less concern of how you feel than what you have done with them


I think this is the best description. I have a friend who is an ESFP and she would really remember details about people's lives and it bothers her if someone is in some kind of trouble. She would worry about people, even if they are not very close to her. Unfortunately, I would struggle to care about people, and if I am not close to them I wouldn't care at all (maybe thats just me though). Plus, she needs to be around people, connecting with them all the time. I like being around people, but I don't feel like I need them or need to connect with them on a deep level at all. I actually feel a bit awkward and uncomfortable when people get too close/intimate. Also not a big hugger, more of a high fiver!


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## Acadia

This is really helpful. I wasn't quite sure for myself, and even though I can relate with ESFP, I am certainly more of an ESTP. I think incredibly quickly on my feet; I'm in charge of audio tech for the college theatre...which means, when things break in the middle of performances, I need to go fix microphones without being noticed by the audience and figure out what is wrong as quickly as possible, aha. I'm all about action, and I'm okay with conflict. I'm still upbeat and enthusiastic, but I can put all of that behind me to identify a problem that needs to immediately be fixed. "Fly by the seat of my pants" or what you will.


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## cty85

Leila said:


> I think this is the best description. I have a friend who is an ESFP and she would really remember details about people's lives and it bothers her if someone is in some kind of trouble. She would worry about people, even if they are not very close to her. Unfortunately, I would struggle to care about people, and if I am not close to them I wouldn't care at all (maybe thats just me though). Plus, she needs to be around people, connecting with them all the time. I like being around people, but I don't feel like I need them or need to connect with them on a deep level at all. I actually feel a bit awkward and uncomfortable when people get too close/intimate. Also not a big hugger, more of a high fiver!


another tell tale is that they like to give advice to you when it is not needed!


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## Thalassa

Sunrain said:


> I agree with all the above descriptions, but the biggest difference is that
> 
> ESFPs are more empathetic. They will *feel* that you're hurt/upset and they will be sorry. If their jokes are insensitive the ESFP will be aware that they are insensitive and so will add a sparkly smile to the joke to make it clear it is a joke. They will say "I love you, you're awesome" spontaneously.
> 
> ESTPs will realize that you're upset after you have *acted* upset and then they will say they're sorry and be frustrated that you're upset. Their jokes are more likely to be insensitive by accident - they will see that something is funny and won't see how it could be insensitive unless pointed out, in which case they will argue "But it was a joke!". They will say "I love you, you're awesome" because they will have decided to say it.


I think ESTPs like ENTPs may come across as incidentally insensitive or even brutish. While an ENTPs insensitivity may be in service to "questioning" or "debate" and may even be purposeful as a social experiment (Ne/Fe) ...it will more likely be verbal. I think ESTP insensitivity is more like a response others may have to their forcefulness, sense of purpose, and actions. I think Charlie Chaplain may have been an ESTP. He was delightful and entertaining and comical, like an ESFP stereotype, but in truth he was actually a workaholic in life, having a very directive and forceful personality, and he got things done, constantly. He was in 67 films before he was thirty years old and owned his own studio. He ignored his wives for the sake of his work, and had tons of mistresses, and could actually be extremely callous with women and was speculated to have been a sex addict. But around age 55 he married a much younger woman and fathered eight children as an elderly man. It's not so much that he was a "bad" person (though he did cruel things to his wives) it's just that it was incidentally in service to the forcefulness of his personality and his obsession with his work; I don't think he *meant* to be cruel (and I am not suggesting all ESTPs are sex addicts, but then again we also have the incidentally insensitive JFK who was also extremely charismatic and dedicated to his work and remembered as a good man). Henry Miller and Ernest Hemingway also had this kind of incidental brutality, not that they were bad or violent men, they just kind of incidentally weren't necessarily sensitive to others...it took me a long time honestly though to try to decipher between ESFP and ESTP for Henry Miller, and I am still not 100 percent certain, but he meets the criteria of kind of letting relationships with humans, especially with women, fall to the wayside in service to a career, though he was actually a very jovial and friendly individual, I think his wild socialibility is probably due to being Se/Fe rather than Se/Te....and to edit, I realized I used too many men as examples, so please add Madonna. She also fits the pattern.

I don't think ESFPs are necessarily living life in service to a kind of blind forceful insensitivity, though ESFPs can also be forceful or insensitive, it's usually a kind of social blunder or obliviousness or jokes in poor taste more so, it's not as directive, in the types (Behind the Scenes, Get Things Going, Chart the Course, and In Charge)...ESTP is In Charge, so they have the same interaction style as an ExxJ in other temperaments. ESFPs instead Get Things Going, in the sense of initiating, entertaining, having fun, or causing drama.


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## RealTalk

I know 2 ESFPs very well.. And the common theme is that they snap at people at will. Not sure if this is the case with all extravert Feelers, but when they're in a bad mood, you'll know about it. If you say something that irritates them, you'll know about it. The ones I know don't really seem to stop and think beyond how they feel before they go ahead and speak. It's cool when they're in a good mood, then it's all expressly rainbows and butterflies! But if you catch them in a bad mood, whether you're the reason for it or not, they won't be very thoughtful before they speak.

I'm an ESTP, and it gets on my nerves when they do this because I know that I could disregard how they're feeling in an instant and just tell them where to stick it. But I try to be considerate! 
ESTPs think before they speak, regardless of how they feel. The fact of the matter is that we say what we mean and we mean what we say. It takes a lot to accept that we may have behaved out of line, because to us, we were just telling it like it is, and we expect others to do the same. We generally don't intend to offend.

ESFPs have a tendency to speak based on how they feel. They don't always speak thoughtfully. They say what they feel at the time and move on. If they know they've upset you though, they'll then be considerate of the fact that they've hurt your feelings. They do empathise with feelings!


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## dulcinea

I'm gonna try not to repeat what's already been said, lol. 

ESTPs are probably more inclined toward debates, and don't really have things they take really personally if someone disagrees with them, so they find debates, disagreements, and conflict easier to handle. ESTPs tend to be more aware of other people's feelings than their own, and some less healthy ESTPs will possibly use that ability to read people to manipulate them. I wouldn't go as far as say, all ESTPs are confrontational. I know at least one who's pretty shy, but, if he has an opinion, he's very quick about expressing it. I find ESTPs don't really have a strong need to bond with people on a one on one basis. They seem to like being around people, but don't seem to get super attached to any individual person. I find ESTPs can also sometimes be critical of people, but, they don't seem to evaluate the person so much as what the person does, if that makes sense.

ESFPs, tend to have certain things, they take personally, so they shy away from conflict a little more, although, I've known some ESFPs to be confrontational on certain issues when they feel the need arises. They usually like more harmonious relationships. I find some of the less stable ESFPs that I've known can be really whiny and passive aggressive. The emphasis is more on their feelings, so when they're unstable, they have a way of trying to suck other people into the black hole of their feelings, and they can use that as a way of getting what they want from people, like:
ESTPs can be more like : "You want to help me, on this thing because, I see how you get satisfaction from helping people" or whatever, emphasizing the other person's feelings, whereas an ESFP could be like "Can you come help me with this thing? Because I'm getting so frustrated with this, and I'm just having the worst day ever!" 

You can kinda see the differences on their social networking posts and stuff too. ESFPs draw a lot of attention to their feelings, when they feel the need arises, but will sometimes try to hide their feelings when they fear being too vulnerable, whereas ESTPs can express their feelings very expressively, but won't have that deep awareness of their own feelings like ESFPs. I know I'm digressing here, but I am so certain that Sheriff Carter in Eureka (if anyone has seen the show) is ESTP. He continually has trouble with conversations that have to do with his own feelings, but he's awesome at synthesizing tons of information and analyzing it to solve problems and save the day. He's a very tactical thinker, all of which strikes me as very ESTP. Interestingly, I"m pretty sure is daughter on the show is ESFP, and she has much more awareness of her feelings. At first she feels betrayed because of her parents' divorce, when she likes someone, she acts quickly on it, and is just generally more comfortable when the conversation turns to her feelings. In fact, she decides immediately, that she wants to go to school to be a doctor, because she likes the way it feels to deliver a baby.

So anyway, back on topic, lol. ESFPs tend to evaluate people rather than criticize people, like some people they'll take into their personal value system as one of the things they love. What I've seen of Fi, so far, is, for the most part, Fi's incorporate the things that they love into their own sense of identity, and, to an extent, the things they don't like either. Usually ESFPs become more critical when under stress, but it'll be more of a Te kind of faultfinding rather than the Ti nitpicking. ESTPs, also can be critical when they're not stress, because they have this more emotionally detached, analytical way of seeing people and things, but I find ESTPs can be more whiny and emotional when they're under stress, but more of that Fe venting kinda whininess.


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## shameless

Out of all the people I know the one person I do not question knowing her mbti is my eldest daughter
An ESTP

And I have recently speculated both my dad was and my eldest sister is ESFP

In my opinion the differences in them thinking of the individuals I know is....

My daughter (ESTP) is the most EFFORTLESSLY well rounded person I know. Its a very innate natural ability to just embody and master and be whatever, and of course do. You know what is funny they call ESTP "doers" well that has been my daughters nickname since she was a tot... "Shelby doo" (because she is a "doer"). 

My father and sis have an innate charisma just as the ESTP do. But they seem to come off not just a little, but DRAMATICALLY more emotional and irrational. 

While my ESTP daughter can often come off impulsive, she does not come off irrational. 

I think both are fun loving natured personalities. ESTPs a true one like I see my daughter the one person I know I never second guessed their personality because its that evident. They are fun loving just as the ESFPs but more focused in what drives them, and more rational. My daughter is self sufficient and always has been. I consider my ESFP father and sister to be a lot more into leaning on others for support, and hysterical (something that is rarely or ever surfaced in my daughter). 

In short I can see my ESTP daughter saying "This is exactly what I *thought *(thinker) I want to do and did it" that is something she would say. She is able to objectively consider things when analyzing.

And ESFP sis & dad really would say something more like this " I did it because it made me *feel*(feeler) good/sad/mad/bad/glad". Almost all of their rational is about how everything makes them or others "feel".


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## yuzu

they are both equally loud, equally annoying (but charming), outgoing and funny but indiscreet with their words.

ESTP: more serious and hardworking, gives off way more jokes/remarks (to the point where it pisses people off), comments on almost everything, touchy playful, acts more professional, likely to act less friendly and a bit impatient, gets bored easily

ESFP: not very serious at all in most situations, indecisive, more sheepish, shares funny stories rather than giving off jokes, comments on almost everything, more loving and reassuring, touchy feely, smiles with teeth all the time,


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## Max

Yes, reading this. I am definitely an ESTP. 

I thought I was an ENTP for a while, and an ESFP too but ESTP fits me the best.


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## something987

ESTP is a straight shooter. They are very to the point in their speech and command attention.

ESFP is more silly and fun. Of course, we can channel that get-to-work persona, but it's not our natural state and we revert as soon as business is taken care of.


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## monemi

Yeahright said:


> ESTP is a straight shooter. They are very to the point in their speech and command attention.
> 
> ESFP is more silly and fun. Of course, we can channel that get-to-work persona, but it's not our natural state and we revert as soon as business is taken care of.


I always think of Turk when I think of ESFP's.


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## something987




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## an_doer

I don't you can tell them apart if ESTP start feeling sorry for himself and others.


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## vinx_finx

Well really I am both. When I live the moment and focus on my emotions I am an ESFP (shadow). My default is ESTP usually when I think things through and worry about the past I am this personality type.


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## Simpson17866

Just my 2¢

ESTP: "We should be doing something, so let's do something fun!"
ESFP: "We should be having fun, so let's do something fun!"


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## Zeus

eSTPs:more likely to keep opinions to self and view stuff as better left unsaid

Esfp: opposite, give their opinions despite not being asked. Kind of a problem I see with them. Females of this type, for a lack of better words should be avoided because they can be somewhat histrionic in their behavior, which annoys most people. Both awful relationships I've had in life were most likely esfps, so I can't say I've had the best interactions with them. They are also witty but slower on their feet than we eSTPs are.


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## MuChApArAdOx

ESFP are soft and their Fi will give them away.

ESTP are rough around the edges, their Ti will give them away.

ESTP in my experience are much more extroverted also.


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## Highway Nights

MuChApArAdOx said:


> ESFP are soft and their Fi will give them away.
> 
> ESTP are rough around the edges, their Ti will give them away.
> 
> ESTP in my experience are much more extroverted also.


Really? You said in your experience, so I'm not nessisarily trying to debate you, but I've always associated ESFPs with being THE absolutely most extroverted MBTI type.


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## Super Luigi

*


Rebelgoatalliance said:



Really? You said in your experience, so I'm not nessisarily trying to debate you, but I've always associated ESFPs with being THE absolutely most extroverted MBTI type.

Click to expand...

Yeah my experience agrees with you there. Currently (regardless of my listed type) I'm trying to figure out if I'm an ESTP or ESFP. Help from anybody here would be greatly appreciated.*


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