# Impulsivity and depression



## LittleOrange (Feb 11, 2012)

So, guys, I read how SPs like to act on their impulses and hate to look their impulses wither and die. I wonder, if you, for whatever reason DON`T act on your impulses, do you get depressed?


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## Fat Bozo (May 24, 2009)

I think when I was most depressed was when I wasn't interested in anything, so I didn't really have any strong impulses and that in itself was depressing.

But yeah, there are times when not being able to follow my impulses is frustrating, and can start to get depressing if I dwell on it too much.


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## BleaK (Jul 5, 2013)

I start to get impatient when I dont act on my impulses but I can somehow suppress it even though it feels horrible. For a long time before I found out about MBTI I always looked up to those people in movies animes and tv shows that knew how to control their impulses because the impulsive ones were always getting into more trouble than they needed and frowned upon for it. 

I aspired to be the character that was cool-headed and had self-control but I never got why they didn't feel the way I did. Because behind the scenes they always seemed okay with it. 

And the impulsive actions I'm talking about arent like hitting someone or buying a fancy car out of the blue. They're more like eating that burger that's got 56,000 calories or tapping my foot and bobbing my head when a good song comes on.

Now I have an excuse to follow my impulses. I will blame it on MBTI


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

Not being able to act on impulse is frustrating as hell!


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

BleaK said:


> I start to get impatient when I dont act on my impulses but I can somehow suppress it even though it feels horrible. For a long time before I found out about MBTI I always looked up to those people in movies animes and tv shows that knew how to control their impulses because the impulsive ones were always getting into more trouble than they needed and frowned upon for it.
> 
> I aspired to be the character that was cool-headed and had self-control but I never got why they didn't feel the way I did. Because behind the scenes they always seemed okay with it.
> 
> ...


Same here, I admired those that had impulse control and tried to copy it. It was especially hard in my teens and I did make some big mistakes like totaling a car when I failed to control my impulses. But there are lots of impulses that I don't have to control and that I can make traditions. Like when the kids watch a movie, I make them get up with me and dance to the credits.


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## Maybe Mercury (Apr 1, 2012)

I can control it to an extent, but then I get stir crazy. It's gotta be the Se. I need to do something. When I'm at my most depressed, I really haven't done anything in a long time. And by "done", I don't mean chores or studying or whatever, but something that makes me excited. It's usually something new. I actually haven't done anything interesting in a while. The most fun things I've done is eat something new, but depressive eating is a condition. I need a hobby or something.

I miss the summer. I worked as a lifeguard and while the enneagram six in me was getting all paranoid, the job actually was really engaging because I knew I might have to act on impulse at any moment.

Music used to be my hobby, but now it is basically my job and I've been channeling all of my extra energy into the internet, which really doesn't engage my Se at all.


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

Elicit said:


> I can control it to an extent, but then I get stir crazy. It's gotta be the Se. I need to do something. When I'm at my most depressed, I really haven't done anything in a long time. And by "done", I don't mean chores or studying or whatever, but something that makes me excited. It's usually something new. I actually haven't done anything interesting in a while. The most fun things I've done is eat something new, but depressive eating is a condition. I need a hobby or something.


When I've been depressed (I haven't had major depression, but I've been depressed) I lost my appetite. I've never gone through a bout of depression without losing weight and my tits while I'm at it. I swear they shrink when I lose weight. Losing a bra size doesn't cheer me up at all.


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## Maybe Mercury (Apr 1, 2012)

monemi said:


> When I've been depressed (I haven't had major depression, but I've been depressed) I lost my appetite. I've never gone through a bout of depression without losing weight and my tits while I'm at it. They swear they shrink when I lose weight. Losing a bra size doesn't cheer me up at all.


For me, it's like idle eating. I need some sensation and that's the easiest way to get it. Definitely not the best way. For me, it'd be nice to lose weight that easily, but I like my boobs, too.


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## BleaK (Jul 5, 2013)

monemi said:


> When I've been depressed (I haven't had major depression, but I've been depressed) I lost my appetite. I've never gone through a bout of depression without losing weight and my tits while I'm at it. I swear they shrink when I lose weight. Losing a bra size doesn't cheer me up at all.


I've heard plenty of beer intake will increase the size of a woman's breasts.


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

BleaK said:


> I've heard plenty of beer intake will increase the size of a woman's breasts.


Well that's hardly a hardship, I like beer.


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## BleaK (Jul 5, 2013)

monemi said:


> Well that's hardly a hardship, I like beer.


Well then I hope you suffer no more...hooray for beer :happy:


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## LittleOrange (Feb 11, 2012)

I hate the impulsivity! Makes me feel so insecure and mindless. I think the SP nature would fit very good to a person that doesn´t think deep about stuff. I think very deep about everything cause I don´t want to make stupid decisions (and I hate feeling mindless), but then after I thought everything through I don´t feel good either. There is no excitement and I feel like I messed up the natural flow. And then I end up doing something impulsively just to get back on track. It´s just so frustrating. It´s like I can´t be at peace with myself.

Any other SP dealing with this? Are SPs incapable of making rational decisions?


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

LittleOrange said:


> I hate the impulsivity! Makes me feel so insecure and mindless. I think the SP nature would fit very good to a person that doesn´t think deep about stuff. I think very deep about everything cause I don´t want to make stupid decisions (and I hate feeling mindless), but then after I thought everything through I don´t feel good either. There is no excitement and I feel like I messed up the natural flow. And then I end up doing something impulsively just to get back on track. It´s just so frustrating. It´s like I can´t be at peace with myself.
> 
> Any other SP dealing with this? Are SPs incapable of making rational decisions?


My second function is Ti, I mostly make rational decisions. I think about every impulse quickly and decide quickly if it's a bad idea. Sometimes, it isn't a bad idea and not a good idea. So I'll go for it. Sometimes, it's a bad idea and I'm frustrated because I really, really wanted to do it. My husband will be grinning at me when he see's that frustrated look on my face. "You want to touch the (electrified) fence don't you?" Of course I want to touch the fence! The last time I made that mistake I went flying and my body felt numb like when you take oxycodone. It was kind of fun but I looked pretty stupid and it's not good for you.


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## LittleOrange (Feb 11, 2012)

monemi said:


> My second function is Ti, I mostly make rational decisions. I think about every impulse quickly and decide quickly if it's a bad idea. Sometimes, it isn't a bad idea and not a good idea. So I'll go for it. Sometimes, it's a bad idea and I'm frustrated because I really, really wanted to do it. My husband will be grinning at me when he see's that frustrated look on my face. "You want to touch the (electrified) fence don't you?" Of course I want to touch the fence! The last time I made that mistake I went flying and my body felt numb like when you take oxycodone. It was kind of fun but I looked pretty stupid and it's not good for you.


Yeah, I thought STPs are different. For me it´s:

1. Fi - "This is the right thing to do!" (can be completely irrational and illogical)
2. Se - "Do it!"

And the cycle repeats. 

Then I suppose some of my inferior functions rebel against it (Te maybe?) and says "You cannot live your life like this. This is completely mindless! You need to think about your life and your actions and make rational decisions."

And then I think and I think and ok, it does help me process everything that is happening, but eventually I end up doing the Fi-Se loop again. I can´t make a decision based on Te cause only Fi knows the way, lol. It´s crazy.


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

LittleOrange said:


> Yeah, I thought STPs are different. For me it´s:
> 
> 1. Fi - "This is the right thing to do!" (can be completely irrational and illogical)
> 2. Se - "Do it!"
> ...


There are times when the irrational wins over the rational. I was at my old apartment years back one morning and looked out the window. I saw toddler in pj's hanging onto the window frame 3 stories up. I'd started running and my brain kicked in saying I wasn't dressed appropriately for this and there were grass underneath him and there was a 7 foot fence with another 2 foot drop on the other side. But I couldn't stop myself. I jumped the fence in time to see the kid fall. He hit his head on the way down but seemed to be in pretty good shape. Someone had called 911 and they must have been really close by. Because I got stuck talking to the police in front of a crowd wearing the silk slip I'd worn under my dress to the club the night before, bed head and smeared make-up. I can imagine just how fucking ladylike I looked hopping that wooden fence barefoot. And for what? I didn't get there before he fell and the kid was fine! *bangs head against brick wall, stupid stupid stupid and I got splinters in my feet for my effort* I refused to look embarrassed while I got questioned and stared at by strangers. 

I hate when the irrational overrules the rational. Most common reason, I see someone about to get hurt and need to do something about it. I'm not a nice sweet giving person. I look out for me and my own. And then shit like that happens and then I can't seem to control my response. Every rational part of me is saying this is stupid and I'm still trying to help.


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## Fat Bozo (May 24, 2009)

monemi said:


> My second function is Ti, I mostly make rational decisions. I think about every impulse quickly and decide quickly if it's a bad idea. Sometimes, it isn't a bad idea and not a good idea. So I'll go for it. Sometimes, it's a bad idea and I'm frustrated because I really, really wanted to do it. My husband will be grinning at me when he see's that frustrated look on my face. "You want to touch the (electrified) fence don't you?" Of course I want to touch the fence! The last time I made that mistake I went flying and my body felt numb like when you take oxycodone. It was kind of fun but I looked pretty stupid and it's not good for you.


I was trying to explain to someone who really didn't get that my first instinct is ALWAYS to rebel against everything, that I have to actually FIGHT my instincts not to do that. And your example reminded me because every month when I go to the pharmacy to pick up my heart medication, I go through the drive-thru and there's this sign in the window that says "ALARM WILL SOUND IF GLASS IS STRUCK OR BROKEN." Every single time I WANT to break the glass. I never do, but the longer I have to wait for the transaction to be finished, the more I have the urge to reach over and smash the window! :laughing:


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## LittleOrange (Feb 11, 2012)

Fat Bozo said:


> I was trying to explain to someone who really didn't get that my first instinct is ALWAYS to rebel against everything, that I have to actually FIGHT my instincts not to do that. And your example reminded me because every month when I go to the pharmacy to pick up my heart medication, I go through the drive-thru and there's this sign in the window that says "ALARM WILL SOUND IF GLASS IS STRUCK OR BROKEN." Every single time I WANT to break the glass. I never do, but the longer I have to wait for the transaction to be finished, the more I have the urge to reach over and smash the window! :laughing:


See, I never have that need, maybe it´s a ESxP thing?


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

LittleOrange said:


> See, I never have that need, maybe it´s a ESxP thing?


Maybe. I totally relate to FatBozo on this. I see signs like that and I want to do the opposite. I was put in charge of emergency evacuation of the building at an office I worked at (planning before an emergency). And all I could imagine was the crash positions in airplane. 




At 52 seconds. 
Instead of calmly getting everyone out of the building, I wanted to lead them in the hokey pokey. 
I want to press the red button with the sign that says not to press it. I always want to press the red button.


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## Fat Bozo (May 24, 2009)

LittleOrange said:


> See, I never have that need, maybe it´s a ESxP thing?


So, what are the impulses you get that frustrate you?


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## LittleOrange (Feb 11, 2012)

My impulses are not necesarilly "bad" or what you described, but they can be very strong and overwhelming and that can me me feel sort of out of control....that is the problem.


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## Tucken (Dec 13, 2009)

Because I did not trust myself I used to withhold myself from doing certain things. I didnt dare take a drivers license out of fear I'd suddenly yank the wheel sideways because I had the impulse to and thus had to do it. These kind of impulses I've struggled with since childhood! Playing with fire, walking a thin line, all very 'me'(SP). 

People are attached to doing things, this actually make them unhappy. So 'doing' and the need to do make us unhappy more than not doing stuff. 
In everything but most notably so with music everything comes and goes, notes ring and die off. It is good to enjoy both doing and silence. If you can enjoy the harmony of silence and the calmness that follows stuff that is great(imagine Cesar Millan and his calm pack of dogs).


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## itsme45 (Jun 8, 2012)

LittleOrange said:


> See, I never have that need, maybe it´s a ESxP thing?


No or I'm ISTP.
I mean I don't get such a strong impulse on those things, that is, going against whatever sign. I have no problem going past the rules like that though if it fits me, if I get something out of it, etc.




monemi said:


> My second function is Ti, I mostly make rational decisions. I think about every impulse quickly and decide quickly if it's a bad idea. Sometimes, it isn't a bad idea and not a good idea. So I'll go for it. Sometimes, it's a bad idea and I'm frustrated because I really, really wanted to do it. My husband will be grinning at me when he see's that frustrated look on my face. "You want to touch the (electrified) fence don't you?" Of course I want to touch the fence! The last time I made that mistake I went flying and my body felt numb like when you take oxycodone. It was kind of fun but I looked pretty stupid and it's not good for you.


Heh.. Why did you want to touch it? Thought it's pretty obvious it's going to be a shit feeling, no more. I once (accidentally) managed to stick my hand into something with 220 volts (I don't know if this is stronger than a fence though). It was an interesting experience, modified consciousness for sure  but I don't want to repeat it.  I was alone and got lucky by finally releasing the connection because my muscles went too limp or something. The modified consciousness was something like, I half knew what was going on but I had no volition to do anything, I just was not conscious enough for that.


To OP, yeah I need better impulse control -.-


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

itsme45 said:


> Heh.. Why did you want to touch it? Thought it's pretty obvious it's going to be a shit feeling, no more. I once (accidentally) managed to stick my hand into something with 220 volts (I don't know if this is stronger than a fence though). It was an interesting experience, modified consciousness for sure  but I don't want to repeat it.  I was alone and got lucky by finally releasing the connection because my muscles went too limp or something. The modified consciousness was something like, I half knew what was going on but I had no volition to do anything, I just was not conscious enough for that.
> 
> 
> To OP, yeah I need better impulse control -.-


It felt pretty cool. Plus you're not supposed to touch it. Childish, immature and stupid impulses strike me. I mostly manage to rise above it. It's like the emergency red button in the coach or the fire alarm. Hard to resist.


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## itsme45 (Jun 8, 2012)

monemi said:


> It felt pretty cool. Plus you're not supposed to touch it. Childish, immature and stupid impulses strike me. I mostly manage to rise above it. It's like the emergency red button in the coach or the fire alarm. Hard to resist.


well okay emergency button on train, I did once wonder about what it would be like to press it haha...
no extreme strong impulse to press it though. probably because I thought of the consequences when wondering what it would be like.

I'm sure the flying part was cool


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

itsme45 said:


> well okay emergency button on train, I did once wonder about what it would be like to press it haha...
> no extreme strong impulse to press it though. probably because I thought of the consequences when wondering what it would be like.
> 
> I'm sure the flying part was cool


I'm probably just immature.


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## itsme45 (Jun 8, 2012)

monemi said:


> I'm probably just immature.


hey nothing wrong with that


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## musician_enigma (Jun 23, 2013)

Not quite. For me boredom or stagnation (pretty much being deprived of Se for too long) leads to depression, which makes me very impulsive (as a last resort to fix the problem). Then if I can't act on the impulse I become even more depressed.

In general though, not being able to act on my impulse doesn't bother me. I usually either withdraw into thinking mode to retrieve a back up/original plan or I go into observation mode and become passive looking for an opportunity to take action.

Mood and situation decides whether I lead with plan or impulse... it's about 50-50.


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## februarystars (Aug 22, 2012)

I think I'm ISFP. When I feel the need to extrovert its usually in an Se way. Just chit chatting to different people isn't really enough. I want to DO something. Something fun. I get ideas about what I want to do, then if I can't do them for whatever reason I do get kinda down. And if I don't do any Se activities for ages everything just feels really meh. 

I find planning and doing 'adventurous' activities is a good way to engage Se. Say for example, watersports, snowboarding/skiing, hiking, that kinda stuff. Like trying new things. 

It's weird cos for a few years in my life I stopped doing anything like that and it felt like something was missing.


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