# Tell the Empathy Bear How You Feel



## Crystall

Go ahead, Empathy Bear doesn't judge. Empathy Bear understands and is here to support you.


----------



## Thrifty Walrus

I feel like......like...........I....................hate..............................bears.................................................


----------



## Orion

Like the clouds, low and grey.


----------



## Crystall

Thrifty Walrus said:


> I feel like......like...........I....................hate..............................bears.................................................


Though Empathy Bear does not share your views, Empathy Bear empathizes with you. 



Orion said:


> Like the clouds, low and grey.


Empathy Bear understands and is here for you if you need a hug, or a shoulder to cry on.


----------



## Elwin

Crystall said:


> Go ahead, Empathy Bear doesn't judge. Empathy Bear understands and is here to support you.


I'm skeptical, how do I know I can trust you?


----------



## Fizz

Oh empathy bear, do you REALLY understand? Or do you just pity me? :crying:


----------



## pinkrasputin

Crystall said:


> Go ahead, Empathy Bear doesn't judge. Empathy Bear understands and is here to support you.


Oh. Oh. This is what I do when I need a giant hug but don't realize it. 

Just in case, I want to give empathy bear a giant hug and tell her how precious her heart is for caring about others.


----------



## Crystall

Elwin said:


> I'm skeptical, how do I know I can trust you?


Empathy Bear empathizes with your skepticism, and reassures you that she is trustworthy. 



Fizz said:


> Oh empathy bear, do you REALLY understand? Or do you just pity me? :crying:


Empathy Bear wants to understand. She does not feel pity, only empathy. 



pinkrasputin said:


> Oh. Oh. This is what I do when I need a giant hug but don't realize it.
> 
> Just in case, I want to give empathy bear a giant hug and tell her how precious her heart is for caring about others.


Empathy Bear thanks @pinkrasputin for her kind words, and wants her to know that there are plenty of Bear hugs to go around, should she ever need one.


----------



## Fizz

Crystall said:


> Empathy Bear wants to understand. She does not feel pity, only empathy.


Well then, Empathy Bear, can an honest, hardworking person _unlike_ myself really make it in the world today?


----------



## Crystall

Fizz said:


> Well then, Empathy Bear, can an honest, hardworking person _unlike_ myself really make it in the world today?


Empathy Bear is certain it differs from person to person, but generally thinks it is quite possible (Empathy Bear is also a very diplomatic bear).


----------



## Angelic Gardevoir

BEAR. CUTE. <3

Empathy bear, can you empathize with an emotionless robot?


----------



## susurration

Dear empathy bear,
I'm feeling a little uncomfortable with you using my face as a teeth-rest x_x


----------



## Lokkye

Dear empathy bear...
I.. have bad experiences with bears










*runs off*


----------



## Space Cat

Crystall said:


> Empathy Bear understands and is here for you if you need a hug, or a shoulder to cry on.


What else can Empathy bear do apart from giving hug and lending a shoulder to cry on?
Not that i'm asking for a lot but imo, hugging doesn't change the situation if someone is having a bad day/etc.


----------



## Crystall

Angelic Gardevoir said:


> BEAR. CUTE. <3
> 
> Empathy bear, can you empathize with an emotionless robot?


Empathy Bear empathizes with the poor robot, for not having any emotions. 



susurration said:


> Dear empathy bear,
> I'm feeling a little uncomfortable with you using my face as a teeth-rest x_x


Empathy Bear is confused, yet empathetic. 



Lokkye said:


> Dear empathy bear...
> I.. have bad experiences with bears
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *runs off*


Empathy Bear empathizes with your fear, but assures you that she is in no way related to Pedo Bear.




CeresZal said:


> What else can Empathy bear do apart from giving hug and lending a shoulder to cry on?
> Not that i'm asking for a lot but imo, hugging doesn't change the situation if someone is having a bad day/etc.


Empathy Bear is here to listen empathetically to you talk endlessly about yourself and your problems, and share your pain.


----------



## TheWaffle

Empathy Bear, I bet you won't empathize with me.


----------



## sprinkles




----------



## AussieChick

I'm tired,i have a headache,and i'm concerned about several of my overseas friends.I also joined a dating site and got my first rejection,after what seemed like a promising beginning.

Empathy Bear,as an ISFJ i am always showing empathy for others,now it's my turn.I need a BIG bear hug,and right NOW.


----------



## Crystall

TheWaffle said:


> Empathy Bear, I bet you won't empathize with me.


Empathy Bear empathizes with your suspiciousness, but promises that she will. 



sprinkles said:


>


Empathy Bear does not understand the language used in the video, but appreciates your unique way of expressing yourself. 



Ozziechick1966 said:


> I'm tired,i have a headache,and i'm concerned about several of my overseas friends.I also joined a dating site and got my first rejection,after what seemed like a promising beginning.
> 
> Empathy Bear,as an ISFJ i am always showing empathy for others,now it's my turn.I need a BIG bear hug,and right NOW.


Empathy Bear feels your pain; hugs you and rocks you in her big, comforting bear arms, and assures you that you are a beautiful, unique, kind and loving woman, and that you will find the one for you; this person whom rejected you just wasn't the one.


----------



## Tad Cooper




----------



## Fizz

jdmn said:


> Yeah, I guess. Empathy bear is so understanding and empathetic of us and her own appetite that she communicates via internet so she won't eat tasty people like us. Just the hunters of her unknown forest!


Empathy bear really does care! I would give her a human-hug if I could! But I think her bear-hug would eviscerate me :sad:


----------



## jdmn

Fizz said:


> Empathy bear really does care! I would give her a human-hug if I could! But I think her bear-hug would eviscerate me :sad:


Give her an online human hug, she'll understand that


----------



## Ormazd

Dear Empathy Bear,

I appreciate your existence and this thread makes me smile.

Thank you.


----------



## Crystall

Fizz said:


> I'm sure empathy bear understands. She can't always control her appetite when they're tasty people around.


Actually, there are quite a few humans which Empathy Bear wouldn't mind eating. But fortunately she's a bear of great self-restraint. 



Ormazd said:


> Dear Empathy Bear,
> 
> I appreciate your existence and this thread makes me smile.
> 
> Thank you.


Empathy Bear is touched, and very happy that you feel this way.


----------



## Surreal Snake

It actually caught on fire R.Smith's hair(rug rash)I was too Rough!Me likey hair.+_*_+


----------



## agreenbough

Empathy Bear, I wanted to thank you for your good advice. Maybe you should start an advice column.

Rug rash and Robert Smith mmmmmmm......


----------



## Crystall

agreenbough said:


> Empathy Bear, I wanted to thank you for your good advice. Maybe you should start an advice column.
> 
> Rug rash and Robert Smith mmmmmmm......


That warms Empathy Bear's heart. She is glad to have been of help. Did you mean an Empathy Bear Advice column or a Crystall advice column though? :laughing:


----------



## refugee

Dear Empathy Bear,

I feel sad that I don't know everything in life. Like, why is a hill-billy called a hill-billy? Please advise.


----------



## Elwin

Nobody understands me
The world is so dark
As dark as my soul


----------



## Crystall

refugee said:


> Dear Empathy Bear,
> 
> I feel sad that I don't know everything in life. Like, why is a hill-billy called a hill-billy? Please advise.


Empathy Bear clears her throat and reads off a piece of paper on which she has scribbled down the answer to your question. "Dear Refugee," she mutters in her gruff bear-voice; "The term Hill-billy, or Billy Boy, originated in Ireland. It was used to describe the Northern Ireland Protestant supporters of King William III (AKA King Billy)." She tells you not to be sad that you don't know everything. If you did, there wouldn't be anything to be curious about.



Elwin said:


> Nobody understands me
> The world is so dark
> As dark as my soul


Empathy Bear is confused because you look so content in your picture. She puts one of her little paws on your shoulder, rubs her cold wet nose against your cheek and says "I only go to the darkest parts of my cave when I want to be alone, and can be at peace with the darkness." She then looks at you with her round, sad eyes and says "The darkness comes from without, Elwin. Your soul cannot be dark, for there is only light within. If you wish to rid yourself of the darkness you need only let your inner light shine."


----------



## Elwin

Crystall said:


> Empathy Bear is confused because you look so content in your picture. She puts one of her little paws on your shoulder, rubs her cold wet nose against your cheek and says "I only go to the darkest parts of my cave when I want to be alone, and can be at peace with the darkness." She then looks at you with her round, sad eyes and says "The darkness comes from without, Elwin. Your soul cannot be dark, for there is only light within. If you wish to rid yourself of the darkness you need only let your inner light shine."


Oh Empathy Bear, how your kind and understanding words bring joy to my heart.


----------



## Stolen

Empathy Bear, in my life it seems like the wheels are spinning but the hamster is dead. What do I do?


----------



## agreenbough

Get another hamster? Maybe feed this one once in a while.
Oh, wait, you didn't ask me, you asked Empathy Bear. I await her response along with you......


----------



## Crystall

TentacleZoom said:


> Empathy Bear, in my life it seems like the wheels are spinning but the hamster is dead. What do I do?


Empathy Bear reminds you that the Hamster is not dead. _You _are the hamster, and you are in fact very much alive. Empathy Bear suggests that you jump off the wheel and leave your cage for a while to discover whether you really ever liked it in the first place. Maybe it's time you stopped trying to spin the wheel you felt you were supposed to, and found out what is the one true wheel which you deep down really want to spin.


----------



## JoetheBull

tired, depressed, lost, and useless. the usual


----------



## Crystall

JoetheBull said:


> tired, depressed, lost, and useless. the usual


Empathy Bear nods in quiet contemplation. She thinks for a moment about her father, Big Bear McSulkins, whom is also an INTP. 

"Maybe," Empathy Bear mumbles as she treads from side to side, stroking her furry chin, "if you realized how completely un-useless you are you wouldn't feel so lost and depressed." She stops and looks you square in the eye and says "Because I can assure you Joe, you are absolutely not useless."


----------



## JoetheBull

Crystall said:


> Empathy Bear nods in quiet contemplation. She thinks for a moment about her father, Big Bear McSulkins, whom is also an INTP.
> 
> "Maybe," Empathy Bear mumbles as she treads from side to side, stroking her furry chin, "if you realized how completely un-useless you are you wouldn't feel so lost and depressed." She stops and looks you square in the eye and says "Because I can assure you Joe, you are absolutely not useless."


Thank you but I still kind of feel lost and unsure of myself. the depression and the useless feeling subsided for now at least till I have to go to work tomorrow.


----------



## Crystall

JoetheBull said:


> Thank you but I still kind of feel lost and unsure of myself. the depression and the useless feeling subsided for now at least till I have to go to work tomorrow.


Ah, unfulfilling work? Empathy Bear is very familiar. She used to be a circus bear. Every day she was made to wear a degrading attire and jump through everyone's hoops; Empathy Bear was not amused. The crowd loved her, and she loved them, but it simply wasn't enough. She longed to roam the wilderness where she could feel free. 

She makes a gesture towards a large hammock which hangs in the tree next to hers. "Take a load off and tell me all about it" she says as she leans back in her hammock with her paws behind her head, and closes her eyes.


----------



## sprinkles

I am extremely annoyed and actually a little down, because the damn cars driving by my house very much intrude on my enjoyment of the night and listening to the frogs sing.


----------



## pretty.Odd

Empathy Bear, why the hell do people enjoy going to places they know are crowded and full of annoying drunk people?


----------



## LibertyPrime

Empathy Bear, I was scared and felt alone, I'm becoming friends with someone I loved in another way and my life seems badly messed up. Today my feelings came to overwhelm me again so I laid back on the bed and felt them like never before. I took the full blunt of all of them and stood my ground. I called out to them and said "Thank you for caring, I accept you for what you are, part of me." My feelings came and went, swirled and pulsated, I could feel them in every corner of my body.

I still feel the pain  but it is all good, I faced my feelings and accepted them. I shed my hard shell and am ready for love to flow in once more. 

For us to feel love we also have to be open to the pain or else no one can see our hearts through the shell protecting it.


----------



## Crystall

Ireth said:


> I suddenly just turned very very sad, and I have no idea why. Maybe it's the weather, maybe there's something in the air...
> I normally don't have mood swings often and if I feel something, I know why I feel it, because I know what's happening in me.
> But now it's very unexpected and I can't do anything because of it, I just feel like moping...:crying:
> I think I might just go to bed, since I can't do anything anyway. I hope it will help and that tomorrow I'll be back on my nice little active-inspired-strong cloud that has formed beneath my feet these last few days... I soo hope I haven't lost it...!


"Some days are just mopey days." Empathy Bear looks out her window at the rain dripping down from the heaving gray sky, with her sad, round eyes. "Here's hoping your mopiness has come and gone," she mutters as she takes a drink of orange juice. "And if it hasn't, then that's alright, too. We can't be perfect and happy all the time no matter how hard we try."



JoetheBull said:


> Have tried a few times and thought about seeing one again but a little cautious about doing again. Very expensive and usually not very helpful. I might be able to afford it when I start my new job maybe.


Empathy Bear understands. Fortunately she lives in a country where healthcare is affordable. She tries to think of a way of getting around that annoying fact, and wonders if maybe you can get it cheaper through your insurance?



Curlyfusion said:


> How did Empathy Bear become so empathetic?


She was just born that way; overwhelmed with empathy, and without a switch to turn it off. 



Curlyfusion said:


> I have a hard time focusing on what people are saying sometimes or focusing when I am working on a project. I find myself easily distracted by something else I either must do or something I would rather do than current task.
> 
> I also find myself not getting to things that I really want to do but don't have time for because I have spent a lot of time being distracted by other things, that are less important.


Empathy Bear thinks those sound like symptoms of ADHD and wonders if you've ever been tested? Empathy Bear googles self tests and finds a check list which seems alright. "Check off this list: Attention Deficit Disorder Test and see how many checks you get" she says handing you the page. "If a lot of them are true you could be dealing with ADHD, and should see a professional about getting it investigated, because medication does help. However, if you do, it is imperative that they also properly rule out other possible causes of similar symptoms such as anxiety and depression. American doctors are often a bit quick to diagnose." 



Rim said:


> Empathy Bear, I was scared and felt alone, I'm becoming friends with someone I loved in another way and my life seems badly messed up. Today my feelings came to overwhelm me again so I laid back on the bed and felt them like never before. I took the full blunt of all of them and stood my ground. I called out to them and said "Thank you for caring, I accept you for what you are, part of me." My feelings came and went, swirled and pulsated, I could feel them in every corner of my body.
> 
> I still feel the pain  but it is all good, I faced my feelings and accepted them. I shed my hard shell and am ready for love to flow in once more.
> 
> For us to feel love we also have to be open to the pain or else no one can see our hearts through the shell protecting it.


Empathy Bear encourages you to stay positive, and keep allowing that love to fill your heart, and your life, because it is the only way to truly live. "You are very brave" says Empathy Bear and playfully punches you in the shoulder. "Don't ever stop believing."


----------



## devoid

Empathy bear, I realize that inevitably I am alone in the world. I have always had to do things alone, since before I can remember. I raised myself, fed myself, clothed myself and had to teach myself everything about the world. Even so, as a small child I always had the illusion of having support, and sometimes even the reality. Now that I am an adult, I don't want to live my life alone. I don't want to spend the rest of my years through college, careers, apartments, homes, all of this alone.

But beyond this, I don't want to believe that my parents are still the ones who will support me right now. They have never been there for me in my life, and suddenly I find myself leaning on them again for support. They want me to try to be part of the family, which is a totally foreign idea, and they are going to help me financially. Even more than being alone, I fear being hurt by them again. I would rather have nothing than have a shell of a mother who hates everything about me and drains my spirit every day.


----------



## Kr3m1in

See,* this* is what happens when we don't have a thread to tell juicy sexy stories in...
I though we had a perfectly good titty bear..
what is this thread?...it's like my whole sex clan simultaneously went mad..

dear Empathy bear, please empathize with me and make them snap out of it *begs tearfully*


----------



## Kr3m1in

people are _actually_ serious about this...
what a world...


----------



## snail

Empathy bear,
I have a problem. Right now I'm struggling very hard with a lack of will-power, and feel that there is a huge roadblock keeping me from even taking the first steps that would make me a better person. Despite my determination, which was so great that I listened to music about resisting evil, and would physically shake my head and say "no" aloud whenever I caught myself failing, I only made it about a day without getting myself emotionally high with my corrupt fantasies, then went right back to having the intrusive thoughts, which are evil in themselves for being a form of both adultery and idolatry. 

I love God, but what if I love the feeling I get from my sinful thoughts even more? I don't want to be evil, but I want to get to have the pleasure of imagining connectedness anyhow. It is the only relief I ever feel from this sense of alienation and separation. In a moment of horrible weakness, I shifted the conditions of the fantasy and imagined everything more realistically, within the context of it being allowed, and being free to feel it all without any moral limits. 

It was just a way of tricking my conscience so I could turn off the warning light. Doing this has been very dangerous. It could undermine everything that matters to me. I feel tired of fighting it, but if I stop struggling against the evil, I will become even more corrupt and will eventually lose my sensitivity to it, so that my conscience will go numb and I won't have access to it anymore. Since my conscience is the main tool I use to function, the thing that gives me most of my information about reality, losing it would be losing myself, and what I am doing right now is spiritual suicide. I don't know how to make myself stop. I'm doing it right now, and I hate the part of me that allows it.


----------



## alionsroar

Empathy Bear, I accidently leaned over a knife which resulted in it poking a hole in my shirt. I don't like how my shirt is now ruined and I can't wear it. But I feel like I shouldn't feel that way since it's just a shirt, it's not like the world blew up or I don't have any other tops to wear.


----------



## JoetheBull

> Empathy Bear understands. Fortunately she lives in a country where healthcare is affordable. She tries to think of a way of getting around that annoying fact, and wonders if maybe you can get it cheaper through your insurance?


I don't have insurance at the moment and not sure if they cover mental health. Sorry if it seems like I am shooting down your ideas to subconsciously sabotaging any means that will help so I stay in the current state of mind which I am familiar with. I tend to over analyze things and try not to rush into things and hit the same road blocks I have encountered numerous times over. Probably why this one girl keeps saying I am no help (that and possibly asking advice about relationships and social norms from a guy who has never been on a date or had a girlfriend with limited social skills shouldn't be able to really help with those things). sorry kind of went off subject. I appreciate the suggestions. For now I guess I should try to figure out how to get myself to eat healthier and exercise ( and do it more then two days lol). That might help a little.


----------



## Quin Sabe

Is tired being alone and an virgin but in the way that pushes him to become more outgoing and confident to finally cause a change to alleviating those things. Although he likes the the progress, he is unsure of the validity of his reasons, but it's better than the past few years. Is also unsure about all the dynamics relationships hold but is diving in like a skydiver without a parachute.


----------



## Disfigurine

Empathy bear,

I have an issue with people.
They are dumb.

Plz send help.
Also, send alcohol.

Wait, that was redundant.

Oh no, the stupid has infected me 

Sincerely,
concerned citizen


----------



## Kr3m1in

@Belua, I haven't even bitten you.... yet...


----------



## Disfigurine

Huh what? You the "stupid zombie" now, @Kr3m1in?


----------



## Kr3m1in

@Belua , maybe some people..just need an excuse to be the stupid zombie?lol


----------



## Disfigurine

I do not allow excuses!


----------



## Kr3m1in

@Belua, well then you don't get to sport gnarly neck scars!


----------



## Disfigurine

@Kr3m1in....

I see what you did there...


----------



## Kr3m1in

R, scrunched up face? ;P


----------



## Crystall

hziegel said:


> Empathy bear, I realize that inevitably I am alone in the world. I have always had to do things alone, since before I can remember. I raised myself, fed myself, clothed myself and had to teach myself everything about the world. Even so, as a small child I always had the illusion of having support, and sometimes even the reality. Now that I am an adult, I don't want to live my life alone. I don't want to spend the rest of my years through college, careers, apartments, homes, all of this alone.
> 
> But beyond this, I don't want to believe that my parents are still the ones who will support me right now. They have never been there for me in my life, and suddenly I find myself leaning on them again for support. They want me to try to be part of the family, which is a totally foreign idea, and they are going to help me financially. Even more than being alone, I fear being hurt by them again. I would rather have nothing than have a shell of a mother who hates everything about me and drains my spirit every day.


Empathy Bear has been in a similar situation, and she feels for you deeply. "Some people will always keep on hurting us, whether it is their intention or not" she says in a defeated voice. "You could tell them how you feel about being a part of the family, that you are hesitant to trust them because of how much they've hurt you in the past, and hope that this time they will understand."



Kr3m1in said:


> See,* this* is what happens when we don't have a thread to tell juicy sexy stories in...
> I though we had a perfectly good titty bear..
> what is this thread?...it's like my whole sex clan simultaneously went mad..
> 
> dear Empathy bear, please empathize with me and make them snap out of it *begs tearfully*


Empathy Bear points over yonder and says "Oooh what's that over there @Kr3m1in, http://personalitycafe.com/sex-relationships/49800-sexual-advice-thread.html#post1143940, a shiny new thread?"



snail said:


> Empathy bear,
> I have a problem. Right now I'm struggling very hard with a lack of will-power, and feel that there is a huge roadblock keeping me from even taking the first steps that would make me a better person. Despite my determination, which was so great that I listened to music about resisting evil, and would physically shake my head and say "no" aloud whenever I caught myself failing, I only made it about a day without getting myself emotionally high with my corrupt fantasies, then went right back to having the intrusive thoughts, which are evil in themselves for being a form of both adultery and idolatry.
> 
> I love God, but what if I love the feeling I get from my sinful thoughts even more? I don't want to be evil, but I want to get to have the pleasure of imagining connectedness anyhow. It is the only relief I ever feel from this sense of alienation and separation. In a moment of horrible weakness, I shifted the conditions of the fantasy and imagined everything more realistically, within the context of it being allowed, and being free to feel it all without any moral limits.
> 
> It was just a way of tricking my conscience so I could turn off the warning light. Doing this has been very dangerous. It could undermine everything that matters to me. I feel tired of fighting it, but if I stop struggling against the evil, I will become even more corrupt and will eventually lose my sensitivity to it, so that my conscience will go numb and I won't have access to it anymore. Since my conscience is the main tool I use to function, the thing that gives me most of my information about reality, losing it would be losing myself, and what I am doing right now is spiritual suicide. I don't know how to make myself stop. I'm doing it right now, and I hate the part of me that allows it.


Empathy Bear can relate. She had many thoughts of adultery in one of her previous relationships, and has walked dangerously close to the line many times. 
"As has previously been established, no one can be perfect all the time, not even you, Snail, though your heart is warm and kind." Empathy Bear tells Snail a story of an incredibly sweet ISFJ bear that she once dated. "I loved him to pieces, but not in the way that a female should love her male, more like how a mother loves her cubs. I'm a bear of action, and I need an adventurous and passionate mate. He just wasn't the one for me." 
Empathy Bear says that what you need to figure out is not how to stop these thoughts, but why you are having them in the first place. "Are you happy with your mate? If not, then what is it that you are not getting from him, which you imagine in this other male?" If you can figure this out, Empathy Bear hypothesizes, you could talk to your mate about it and maybe he can provide it for you. 



pc3000 said:


> Empathy Bear, I accidently leaned over a knife which resulted in it poking a hole in my shirt. I don't like how my shirt is now ruined and I can't wear it. But I feel like I shouldn't feel that way since it's just a shirt, it's not like the world blew up or I don't have any other tops to wear.


Empathy Bear knows what you mean. It can be very sad to lose things we love, even if they are only inanimate objects - they can still have emotional value. Luckily for Empathy Bear, her favorite outfit is attached to her skin. 



JoetheBull said:


> I don't have insurance at the moment and not sure if they cover mental health. Sorry if it seems like I am shooting down your ideas to subconsciously sabotaging any means that will help so I stay in the current state of mind which I am familiar with. I tend to over analyze things and try not to rush into things and hit the same road blocks I have encountered numerous times over. Probably why this one girl keeps saying I am no help (that and possibly asking advice about relationships and social norms from a guy who has never been on a date or had a girlfriend with limited social skills shouldn't be able to really help with those things). sorry kind of went off subject. I appreciate the suggestions. For now I guess I should try to figure out how to get myself to eat healthier and exercise ( and do it more then two days lol). That might help a little.


Empathy Bear reminds you that no matter how dark and gloomy things may sometimes seem, they always get better. "Don't worry Joe, it's going to be okay."



Quin Sabe said:


> Is tired being alone and an virgin but in the way that pushes him to become more outgoing and confident to finally cause a change to alleviating those things. Although he likes the the progress, he is unsure of the validity of his reasons, but it's better than the past few years. Is also unsure about all the dynamics relationships hold but is diving in like a skydiver without a parachute.


"You are very brave, Quin Sabe." says Empathy Bear with a nod. "Sounds like you're on the right path. Don't second guess yourself, you're going to do great."



Belua said:


> Empathy bear,
> 
> I have an issue with people.
> They are dumb.
> 
> Plz send help.
> Also, send alcohol.
> 
> Wait, that was redundant.
> 
> Oh no, the stupid has infected me
> 
> Sincerely,
> concerned citizen


Empathy Bear hands you a glass of vodka on the rocks before she leans back in her hammock and takes a sip of her gin and tonic. "Stupid is as stupid does" she recites. "On the bright side, if you really have been infected with the ignoramus virus, you'll be much less annoyed by the effects of it in other people."


----------



## Space Cat

Argh, empathy bear. I need your fur!
I've been having artist block for days.
I have no idea why i'm not as creative as i used to be.
I'm fine, there's no problem in my life nor stress. It's more like i'm procrastinating but i really want to do this final project of mine.
I'm not sure what can i do to get over this.


----------



## Crystall

CeresZal said:


> Argh, empathy bear. I need your fur!
> I've been having artist block for days.
> I have no idea why i'm not as creative as i used to be.
> I'm fine, there's no problem in my life nor stress. It's more like i'm procrastinating but i really want to do this final project of mine.
> I'm not sure what can i do to get over this.


"Such is the ironic life of an artist. Being in the state of torture, starvation, or heart ache may open the door to the subconscious and allow you to reach deep into the well of imagination. When an artist finds herself in no distress, nor challenge or discomfort, the door may slam shut, but the well never runs dry." Empathy Bear suggests looking for inspiration in the places which have guided you in the past; perhaps in a childhood memory, a book, or a place visited long ago.


----------



## Sillia Rosa

Empathy bear I'm mad at parents but I love them and I don't want to mad. But they make me so mad!!! What do I do?


----------



## Hardstyler

Dear Empathy Bear you are awesome that will be all.


----------



## Dreamer

I feel so stupid and silly. Although I admit I was wrong. I feel so angry that I don't get a change to edit and change what I done. Because it hasn't fully come to a close yet. They just say that they are the 'rules'. They don't care about how much time I spend there and how much I try to be kind and friendly. If I had a chance to edit it, I wouldn't do it again.
I have left this place because of how strict they are being. It's not parliament, it's a FORUM.


By the way, I think this a lovely idea Crystall. It's so sweet and caring.
Some people are being nasty and silly, but you have some awesome witty responses. Empathy Bear could almost be real. I wish he/she was, It would be such a better place if there was a kind fuzzy creature around. Of course, there will be happy who hate the whole 'happy' 'empathetic' 'cuddly' nature of cute animals and nice people, but there will always be people who do like it. One of them would be me.


----------



## Space Cat

Empathy bear,
I've been crying a lot lately without a reason and it's something i'm not used to. There isn't really a reason for me to be upset but i am. I suspect i might be having some form of depression as this is starting to affect me negatively. I've been seeking resources but i'm not sure where to look. It has got to the point where it's emotionally painful and it's almost hard to breathe at times. This is not something i like and i'm working very hard to get rid of it. I'm not really sure what to do to ease the crying as it can get really painful at times.
If you have any idea, please help. Thanks.


----------



## Crystall

Sillia Rosa said:


> Empathy bear I'm mad at parents but I love them and I don't want to mad. But they make me so mad!!! What do I do?


Empathy Bear, whom just got back from one of her odd adventures, sets her suitcase on the floor and flops down on a futon. "Children are a people and they live in a foreign land" she sings slowly from behind her dark sunglasses. "Everyone is a child, and they belong to the mysterious people" continues the strange song, though it sounds like she's skipped a few verses. "Part of you will always be a cub to your parents, and that part of them will always be both comforting and annoying to you. The mystery in that never really goes away" she says as she stretches out on the futon. "You sound like a good kid, Sillia Rosa. You could try telling them what it is that they do which makes you angry, and asking them to listen without judgement."



Hardstyler said:


> Dear Empathy Bear you are awesome that will be all.


Empathy Bear reaches out to you with her little paw and insists that you must "bump" that.



Dreamer said:


> I feel so stupid and silly. Although I admit I was wrong. I feel so angry that I don't get a change to edit and change what I done. Because it hasn't fully come to a close yet. They just say that they are the 'rules'. They don't care about how much time I spend there and how much I try to be kind and friendly. If I had a chance to edit it, I wouldn't do it again.
> I have left this place because of how strict they are being. It's not parliament, it's a FORUM.
> 
> 
> By the way, I think this a lovely idea Crystall. It's so sweet and caring.
> Some people are being nasty and silly, but you have some awesome witty responses. Empathy Bear could almost be real. I wish he/she was, It would be such a better place if there was a kind fuzzy creature around. Of course, there will be happy who hate the whole 'happy' 'empathetic' 'cuddly' nature of cute animals and nice people, but there will always be people who do like it. One of them would be me.


Empathy Bear knows a little bit about suffering the disproportionately harsh consequences of preforming a regrettable act. "All you can really do is to take what you can and learn from it. I know it feels awful right now, but the truth is that you'll be smarter next time because of it, and you'll be more careful. Take some time off from the forum if you need to distance yourself from the negativity, but don't let them push you down. You have every right to be here, just like everybody else." 



CeresZal said:


> Empathy bear,
> I've been crying a lot lately without a reason and it's something i'm not used to. There isn't really a reason for me to be upset but i am. I suspect i might be having some form of depression as this is starting to affect me negatively. I've been seeking resources but i'm not sure where to look. It has got to the point where it's emotionally painful and it's almost hard to breathe at times. This is not something i like and i'm working very hard to get rid of it. I'm not really sure what to do to ease the crying as it can get really painful at times.
> If you have any idea, please help. Thanks.


"There are several different signs of depression which you may want to examine yourself for" mumbles Empathy Bear from under a cushion. She's taken off the sunglasses and instead opted to shield her eyes from the slow afternoon sunlight from beneath the fabrics. "Anxiety and crying are two of them, though this doesn't necessarily mean that you are depressed. Try not to give in to the urge of burying yourself in the sadness and hopelessness. Get out there in the sunlight and fresh air, and do the things you know you love, even if the thought of doing so makes you feel anxious. Try Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Practice positive affirmations and self-love with the help of Louise Hay, and see the film 'You Can Heal Your Life.' Read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle." She peeks through the lump of pillows stacked on her head and looks at you. "If none of it helps, and you still cannot escape the aching sense of despair, you may be too deep in the depression to pull yourself out on your own. I would strongly advise you to see a counselor of some sort to support you through this. Once you have someone to talk to, medication can also speed things up when normalizing the chemical imbalance (lack of dopamine, etc) which depression causes in the brain."


----------



## Kr3m1in

@Crystall , girl , you rock at this empathy thing. *takes hat off to Crystall*

I clearly couldn't deal with it.I contemplated responding for a second, but started typing an AWFUL response.lol, suprisee


----------



## Sillia Rosa

Oh Empathy Bear, thank you for being so empathetic! From what adventure have you returned from?


----------



## Nebula

Empathy bear,

What should I do? I love a man that I can never have. Every time I see him, I love him more and more. He doesn't feel the same way back. But, I wouldn't want him too, as he has someone else. I couldn't hurt this lady, she seems lovely.

We have so much in common, and it hurts finding out more and more things we have in common all the time. I want to stop seeing him, but I need him, as because if I stop seeing him, my future will be messed up if I don't keep seeing him. 

I realise that it isn't meant to be, but it hurts being near him and knowing we can't be together. But, at the same time, it feels nice knowing we have so much in common.

I've tried thinking about the things about him that I hate, so I can get over him. And I'm kinda hoping he'll be rude to me, so my feelings will end.


----------



## Pearls

Dear Empathy bear,

Thank you! I felt relieved after reading your message. I handed in my assignment today. Though I don't think I'll get a high mark, at least I can finish it on time! You're awesome and Crystall as your messager is awesome too. Please keep up the good work <3


----------



## yesiknowbut

Hey empathy bear,
I have enjoyed reading your thread. It cheered me up in a difficult week, and thank you. Now I am cheerful so would like to send you some warmth back. *hands EB a sunbeam*


----------



## viva

Dear Empathy Bear,

I am feeling a bit down today. I really love my boyfriend, and I have to go two months without seeing him. Some time has passed, but we still have over a month to go until then, and it already feels like I haven't seen him in years. It feels like part of my heart is missing when he's not here. I don't think I will be able to wait that long without going insane. I'm not sure how to distract myself from how much I miss him. He completes me. This is depressing. :sad:

Sincerely,

Sad Kitty


----------



## Crystall

Kr3m1in said:


> @Crystall , girl , you rock at this empathy thing. *takes hat off to Crystall*
> 
> I clearly couldn't deal with it.I contemplated responding for a second, but started typing an AWFUL response.lol, suprisee


Empathy Bear hopes you made a typo when you wrote Crystall's name instead of hers, and smiles shyly at you. 



Sillia Rosa said:


> Oh Empathy Bear, thank you for being so empathetic! From what adventure have you returned from?


It is a long and tangled tale of golden rooftops, singing donkeys and hundreds of tiny cowboy hats, which Empathy Bear will tell you all about another time. 



Nebula said:


> Empathy bear,
> 
> What should I do? I love a man that I can never have. Every time I see him, I love him more and more. He doesn't feel the same way back. But, I wouldn't want him too, as he has someone else. I couldn't hurt this lady, she seems lovely.
> 
> We have so much in common, and it hurts finding out more and more things we have in common all the time. I want to stop seeing him, but I need him, as because if I stop seeing him, my future will be messed up if I don't keep seeing him.
> 
> I realise that it isn't meant to be, but it hurts being near him and knowing we can't be together. But, at the same time, it feels nice knowing we have so much in common.
> 
> I've tried thinking about the things about him that I hate, so I can get over him. And I'm kinda hoping he'll be rude to me, so my feelings will end.


Empathy Bear knows your heart ache very well. She sits beside you on the couch and begins to stroke a brush through your hair the way that girls always do in the movies.
"'The heart has its reasons, which reason knows nothing of.'" she cites. "When you find someone who seems so special to you, as you say this man is, not logic, nor reason, or distance can keep your heart from yearning to belong to him. Sadly, this time only your heart is keeping you from happiness. No matter what, you must accept that you deserve so much better. You deserve a man who is everything you never knew you always dreamed of, and he will be a man who loves and adores _you_, not anyone else, a man who realizes just how special you are, and that even though you may not be just like him, you're just perfect for him still." 



Pearls said:


> Dear Empathy bear,
> 
> Thank you! I felt relieved after reading your message. I handed in my assignment today. Though I don't think I'll get a high mark, at least I can finish it on time! You're awesome and Crystall as your messager is awesome too. Please keep up the good work <3


Empathy Bear waves her paws in excitement. She is so happy for you, and she bets that you deserve a much better mark than you give yourself credit for. 



alfreda said:


> Hey empathy bear,
> I have enjoyed reading your thread. It cheered me up in a difficult week, and thank you. Now I am cheerful so would like to send you some warmth back. *hands EB a sunbeam*


Empathy Bear is touched that you feel this way and that you took the time to tell her so. She quickly places the sunbeam in a glass jar and closes the lid on it before it has a chance to expire. 



vivacissimamente said:


> Dear Empathy Bear,
> 
> I am feeling a bit down today. I really love my boyfriend, and I have to go two months without seeing him. Some time has passed, but we still have over a month to go until then, and it already feels like I haven't seen him in years. It feels like part of my heart is missing when he's not here. I don't think I will be able to wait that long without going insane. I'm not sure how to distract myself from how much I miss him. He completes me. This is depressing. :sad:
> 
> Sincerely,
> 
> Sad Kitty


Empathy Bear knows exactly how you feel. She has fallen in love with several wild bears from distant territories, and was once even in a long distance relationship which crossed the Atlantic Ocean. She and her mate didn't see each other for 5 month periods at a time, and it was absolutely heart wrenching, soul stabbing, tear floodingly depressing. Empathy Bear reminds you of the importance of focusing on your own life, your friends, productive projects, and fun activities, and warns you about burying yourself at home missing him. 
"Once you two are together again it will all be worth it Kitty" she says as she strokes you behind the ears. "Those months apart are only days and hours. Spend them focusing on being the positive, creative, outgoing, free spirit that you are, a person with all the freedom of a single girl, and yet the safety and comfort of knowing that your special someone is waiting and longing just to see your face again."


----------



## purplevelvetmask

Misunderstood, under appreciated, taken for granted.


----------



## Sillia Rosa

Empathy Bear, I don't know what I want out of life. Every time I think I got it I change my mind later. This makes me a sad panda.


----------



## Monkey King

Dear Empathy Bear, 

I am drunk. The INTP that was my friend for 7 years who I dated for 7 months has returned. I guess he's ready for the friendship he so valued after our falling out but didn't act upon. I'm drunk. 

I am faced with sarcastic texts. I have confronted with the same sarcasm. My last text was direct. 

I had texted his best friend (acting manager for his band) good luck. INTP has a gig at some well known venue at Hollywood I was texted back with "You should text INTP that ;P" 
I said " HELL naaaaaaaah." I wouldn't have caved if INTP's best friend had not questioned my philosophy on friendship. His friend questioned my philosophy on the very topic. I felt guilty and my balance thrown off. My usual adamant stand weakened. 

So I texted INTP. the conversation is as follows: 

Me: Good luck tonight!
INTP: Thanks brah!
Me: not like you needz it sis! rock my old stompin' ground-- yehYUH!
INTP: Chyea!
Me: You are SO fake right now it's funny-- but it's chill. I'll overlook it brah! Have fun! Heard that venue is kinda like a big deal, sorry can't be there but maybe when y'all have a show on a weekend. I'm sure Mike (his BFF) will probably send me a Facebook invite. =) 
INTP: hahaha, (insert real name) you need to relax. If calling me out, or calling me fake makes you feel better, so be it. if I didn't want to respond I wouldn't have  
Me: Who said I wasn't relaxed? Ohhhh~ dem' texts and their lack of showin' correct emotions. puh-lease hahah LOL! Hence, one shouldn't assume---- oh look at that I just made myself into a hypocrite. 
INTP: Don't make it about yourself =P goodness! You might be physically relaxed, but obviously you're mentally/spiritually aren't 
Me: Well, I do like the spotlight--- but other than daily stresses that can't be helped. I'm all good. YOU triPPEN holmes... or maybe you're talking about you there, kind sir. LOL i just went from ghetto to some old century sheezy
INTP: I dunno (insert real name), you seem to have given all this way too much thought <_< justsayin' breh. 
Me: Heh--- i guess you know me too well. 


<end text convo> 

I can say this much: This INTP has challenged my balance more than any other. FML. Fuck him and the love I feel for him. Fuck everything because I don't want to admit anything because logically---- He does not meet my list. BAH.... BAHG. BLAH!


----------



## Selene

Kr3m1in said:


> I think I am the most empathetic candidate.


Naw, I love your posts. You're one awesome gal. :laughing:


----------



## nikkiannpet

Hi Empathy Bear, again.
Sigh. Lately I feel like I'm being inhibited by myself, as if the walls are closing in. I hate being depressed and lonely and I wish I could get out more and EXPERIENCE SOMETHING REAL AND EXCITING! But I can't. Why? Because my parents do not and will not let me do anything spontaneous, that is just not how they function. Aside from that, we're in the middle of a move and I just stay out of the way in a house with half its supplies gone. I think this is a good opportunity to actually go out there and MAKE OR HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS... It's spring break, I want freedom. I want to stop wallowing in my self-pity. If I stay here any longer I'll end up hating myself, and my worries will stack up. Of course they don't understand, considering everything a "stage." Even so, I can't even hang out with my guy as often (although my mom promised I could this week...but I'm suspicious she has forgotten) because they NEED TO KNOW IF THERE IS PARENTAL SUPERVISION.
GAH.
I WANT FREEDOM.


----------



## Kr3m1in

Selene said:


> Naw, I love your posts. You're one awesome gal. :laughing:


Empathy still isn't my strong suit, but I am honored

Thank you


----------



## Quin Sabe

Empathy bear, do I need to compromise my belief that there are attractive, smart girls out there that would not just lay guy without a forming an actual relationship. I'm beginning to doubt that they exist, and or I'll ever come across them. I really want someone special, and have someone who wants to start a relationship with but I'm just not attracted to them physically, and that makes me feel like a bad person in a way. Shouldn't there be more than looks? There's also two girls I'm friends with and wouldn't mind being with in relationship and both have looks and personality I like. but they're hung up on the same guy. And I had really good moment that looked I had at least as good friend but after that the other broke up with the other girl and she hasn't talked to me since. But promisingly the one who got dumped has. On top of it all I'm also worried about transferring to a university this fall and making that choice, finals, just what to do with my life and full on assault of deep thought about life, friends, meaning, etc. Things are better then they have ever been for me, but it stills feels lacking, unsured and worthless. Like there's so much more I could be doing, and that I should being doing it, doing something, but the options just haven't panned out and I don't know how to make it work like I feel I should be able to do. (And feel feeling and expressing this stuff irl is just a backfiring move, and I'm doubting if I should be expressing this stuff at all anywhere, but I am for some paradoxical reason. Thanks for putting up with this, even if its read or has neutral reaction, I'll appreciate it.)


----------



## wonderfert

I feel...disconnected.


----------



## yesiknowbut

Qien Sabe, I'm not an empathy bear, but I reckon you're going to be all right. She's out there somewhere.

Empathy bear, I'm burnt out. I can shoulder my metaphysical pack for another day tomorrow, but it's heavy and I want to put it down. Can you hold my hand just for a minute, give me some emotional energy? Thanks.


----------



## Selene

I'm not Empathy Bear. But, I can't sit idle seeing unanswered posts in this thread. If I'm a completely ineffectual substitute for Empathy Bear, I apologize. In that case, you can just ignore what I've written, and trust in the fact that you know way more about you than this stupid anonymous Selene character ever could. 

I'll say to anyone in this thread, even those I'm not responding to, that if you want to shoot me a visitor message or PM, I will not be weirded out by it. The point of this forum, for most people, is to connect with others. And, most people come to a personality forum because they're looking for people who are similar to them in certain relevant respects. So, don't be afraid to reach out to other members, because other people are probably here for the same reason.

Empathy Bear: You're fucking awesome. You're an inspiration to me--seeing this thread has been life-altering for me. Keep being a rock star. And do whatever you need to in your own life. But yeah, if you're upset for any reason, you should totally make a thread for people to take care of you. Because, there's probably tons of people that want to snuggle Empathy Bear like crazy. And, I feel like you totally deserve it. It would be tragic and kind of messed up for someone who's helped so many other people to be unable to find any help themselves. 



Sillia Rosa said:


> Empathy Bear, I don't know what I want out of life. Every time I think I got it I change my mind later. This makes me a sad panda.


Confused, lost, directionless. Not trusting your own judgments or opinions. Worrying that all of your choices don't matter because you're just going to reverse them anyhow. Not knowing how to fix it. Not knowing how to find that thing that makes your life happy and blossoming. Yeah...I've been there. It sucks. 

I want to just offer the idea that you're not crazy. That you're probably a smart, questioning, astute individual who quickly sees holes in every possible approach. That you're just looking for something solid, stable, and permanent to ground yourself in. And you feel rightly anxious when that foundation, that thing that holds you and anchors you in reality, gives way.

I can't say how I've solved this, because I'm not really out of my own confusion yet. But, for me, just knowing that other people have felt this way and do feel this way, for similar reasons, makes me feel a bit less inferior. (To see so many other people, who I view positively, struggling with the same issue negates the self-talk of, "I'm so messed up, to be the only one who doesn't know what they want to do with their life.") But, some strategies I've chosen are looking for things I'm particularly good at (word games, music, science, math, etc.) and building my life around those. Also, just looking for things that give me strong positive feelings or make me feel like I'm a good person. (Example: posting in this thread.) Making connections with other people is really nice.



Aila8 said:


> Dear Empathy Bear,
> 
> I am drunk. The INTP that was my friend for 7 years who I dated for 7 months has returned. I guess he's ready for the friendship he so valued after our falling out but didn't act upon. I'm drunk.
> 
> I am faced with sarcastic texts. I have confronted with the same sarcasm. My last text was direct.
> 
> I had texted his best friend (acting manager for his band) good luck. INTP has a gig at some well known venue at Hollywood I was texted back with "You should text INTP that ;P"
> I said " HELL naaaaaaaah." I wouldn't have caved if INTP's best friend had not questioned my philosophy on friendship. His friend questioned my philosophy on the very topic. I felt guilty and my balance thrown off. My usual adamant stand weakened.
> 
> So I texted INTP. the conversation is as follows:
> 
> Me: Good luck tonight!
> INTP: Thanks brah!
> Me: not like you needz it sis! rock my old stompin' ground-- yehYUH!
> INTP: Chyea!
> Me: You are SO fake right now it's funny-- but it's chill. I'll overlook it brah! Have fun! Heard that venue is kinda like a big deal, sorry can't be there but maybe when y'all have a show on a weekend. I'm sure Mike (his BFF) will probably send me a Facebook invite. =)
> INTP: hahaha, (insert real name) you need to relax. If calling me out, or calling me fake makes you feel better, so be it. if I didn't want to respond I wouldn't have
> Me: Who said I wasn't relaxed? Ohhhh~ dem' texts and their lack of showin' correct emotions. puh-lease hahah LOL! Hence, one shouldn't assume---- oh look at that I just made myself into a hypocrite.
> INTP: Don't make it about yourself =P goodness! You might be physically relaxed, but obviously you're mentally/spiritually aren't
> Me: Well, I do like the spotlight--- but other than daily stresses that can't be helped. I'm all good. YOU triPPEN holmes... or maybe you're talking about you there, kind sir. LOL i just went from ghetto to some old century sheezy
> INTP: I dunno (insert real name), you seem to have given all this way too much thought <_< justsayin' breh.
> Me: Heh--- i guess you know me too well.
> 
> 
> <end text convo>
> 
> I can say this much: This INTP has challenged my balance more than any other. FML. Fuck him and the love I feel for him. Fuck everything because I don't want to admit anything because logically---- He does not meet my list. BAH.... BAHG. BLAH!


 Hi. Reading this, I really felt your lack of balance. I felt like you were crumbling, but you were trying to still seem as though you were standing up properly. That must have been hard to have your whole philosophy on friendship questioned. Then, to take the risk of texting INTP. What an anxious encounter! It must have taken a lot of courage to contact him. And now you're back by yourself after that texting and feeling like, "Wait...what just happened...and what am I supposed to do now...gf8hf82giofiojpsi" 

I felt some caring coming through in your texts. Like you really were trying to be supportive as much as you could, and make things okay. It's just a really awkward situation. You did your best--I can understand why you would want to share those texts and get affirmation that what you were doing really was okay. It felt both playful and anxious to me, reading them.

You're really trying your best. You're trying really hard--in spite of your feelings, but also because of them. I can certainly appreciate that.



nikkiannpet said:


> Hi Empathy Bear, again.
> Sigh. Lately I feel like I'm being inhibited by myself, as if the walls are closing in. I hate being depressed and lonely and I wish I could get out more and EXPERIENCE SOMETHING REAL AND EXCITING! But I can't. Why? Because my parents do not and will not let me do anything spontaneous, that is just not how they function. Aside from that, we're in the middle of a move and I just stay out of the way in a house with half its supplies gone. I think this is a good opportunity to actually go out there and MAKE OR HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS... It's spring break, I want freedom. I want to stop wallowing in my self-pity. If I stay here any longer I'll end up hating myself, and my worries will stack up. Of course they don't understand, considering everything a "stage." Even so, I can't even hang out with my guy as often (although my mom promised I could this week...but I'm suspicious she has forgotten) because they NEED TO KNOW IF THERE IS PARENTAL SUPERVISION.
> GAH.
> I WANT FREEDOM.


"I feel like I'm locked up in a cage. If only I was able to escape from here and go out into the world and connect with everything real and exciting. Have real experiences. Then, I wouldn't feel so meaningless and sad. It would be revitalizing...I want to get out of this terrible place. I'm rotting in here, and I'm doing it to me, but I could fix it if only I could get out of here! And this is spring break...exactly the time when I should be going out and connecting with people. There's a bright, amazing world out there...and yet here I am. And I can't do anything about it.

URGH. Damn parents...it's making me miserable. It's their fault. I know what I have to do, but they won't let me! They place all of these conditions and demands. They don't know what's best for me. How dare they decide for me! I know that what's best for me is to get out of here. That's what would make me happy. Can't they see that this is making me miserable? Can't they sense that my soul is decaying in this place? Don't they know that what I need is to be out there? They don't seem to understand at all! This is ridiculous. This is wrong. This is exceptionally painful...I know I'm right, I know what I need to be happy, but I can't do anything about it. Grrrrr.."

That's what I feel coming off of you. When I write all of that, it feels like someone's stabbing me in the head. That's how I feel when I read your writing also. "Owww...painful!"  Hang in there--I find your situation pretty crappy also. And find some ways to keep from stagnating. Some way to keep from rotting. Malcolm X read a shitload of books while he was in jail. St. John of the Cross wrote spiritual texts from his prison cell. Use your energy--don't stay locked up.



Quin Sabe said:


> Empathy bear, do I need to compromise my belief that there are attractive, smart girls out there that would not just lay guy without a forming an actual relationship. I'm beginning to doubt that they exist, and or I'll ever come across them. I really want someone special, and have someone who wants to start a relationship with but I'm just not attracted to them physically, and that makes me feel like a bad person in a way. Shouldn't there be more than looks? There's also two girls I'm friends with and wouldn't mind being with in relationship and both have looks and personality I like. but they're hung up on the same guy. And I had really good moment that looked I had at least as good friend but after that the other broke up with the other girl and she hasn't talked to me since. But promisingly the one who got dumped has. On top of it all I'm also worried about transferring to a university this fall and making that choice, finals, just what to do with my life and full on assault of deep thought about life, friends, meaning, etc. Things are better then they have ever been for me, but it stills feels lacking, unsured and worthless. Like there's so much more I could be doing, and that I should being doing it, doing something, but the options just haven't panned out and I don't know how to make it work like I feel I should be able to do. (And feel feeling and expressing this stuff irl is just a backfiring move, and I'm doubting if I should be expressing this stuff at all anywhere, but I am for some paradoxical reason. Thanks for putting up with this, even if its read or has neutral reaction, I'll appreciate it.)


 Wow, you have a lot of thoughts! I felt an especially strong connection to your doubt of "should I be expressing this at all?" Just to extrapolate and guess what you might be feeling from my own experience. Probably not all, but at least some of this may apply to you:

"These thoughts/feelings are ugly. I don't see any real value in them. But, for some reason, I still someone else to read them and find them valuable. But how could they when I don't even think they're valuable? But...I just have to say it. I need other people to see what I'm thinking/feeling and what this is like for me. Though, why would anybody care? I don't expect anybody to--because this is all so stupid. But, I still have to try, despite not expecting anybody to really care."

Deep thoughts, uncertainty, feelings of meaninglessness. Yup. "I don't expect anybody else to appreciate this. I'm just messed up. Why would anybody want to listen to my thoughts?" To the extent that I have the same thoughts/doubts as you, or have had them, I can relate. Reading your thoughts taps into my own uncertainty. I guess, knowing what that feels like, I want to thank you for having the courage to try expressing yourself, and trying to express an experience that is almost inexpressible. Because, you don't have any way in which you can make your own feelings/thoughts seem meaningful or compelling to someone else--even though they're so important to you. So much inexpressible desperation--"Yes, but who would ever want to hear it or find value in it? Who is there that I could possibly share myself with? Who would want to listen to me?" Such a difficult state of mind to be in.

As far as the relationship...I definitely feel like such girls exist. I say this as someone who has been in a _celibate_ relationship with a smart and (imo) attractive girl for 3 years. I think most of the people on this website, both male and female, are looking for the same kind of relationship as you. I feel like it's really up to you what kind of relationship you want, and what kind of attractiveness standards you want to apply. If you were a girl, I'd be kind of into you, because we seem psychologically similar. Lol.

I feel you'll find your way out of the meaning crisis. For me, the way out has been to see that there isn't any way I can possibly solve the questions, so there is no point in asking. That actions can define my self-image more than my thoughts. That my doubtful/meaningless thoughts can be represented in a way that is noble, honorable, and meaningful. And that I can still give to others even when I'm in a position of feeling completely lacking--and doing so usually makes me feel more valuable and less despairing. The career stuff will work itself out too.



wonderfert said:


> I feel...disconnected.


Selene: Ah, so your connection isn't working. Well, first of all, have you tried turning your router on and off?

wonderfert: [dumbfounded] Wtf...I'm not a computer.

Selene: Just go through the steps and try it. I'm required by my company to ask you to do this.

wonderfert: [walks over to computer and shakes head] Okay, my router is working just like it was before. You're really stupid.

Selene: Hey, is that any way to treat someone who's trying to help you? Maybe you should work on your other connections a bit.

wonderfert: [seething with anger, struggling to control voice] That was...what I was calling about.

Selene. [long pause followed by a flash of revelation] Ohhhhhhh....haha. This is the disconnected internet routers number. You need the disconnected humans number. Hold on, and I'll get it for you.

...

Yeah, I'm an absolute fool, and your life isn't terribly different than before. But someone you don't know just spent 5 minutes writing a ridiculously stupid story containing you as a main character. And I had fun doing it. 

To be more to the point though...when I feel lonely/disconnected, I just harass people on PC. ^_^ Lucky you.



alfreda said:


> Empathy bear, I'm burnt out. I can shoulder my metaphysical pack for another day tomorrow, but it's heavy and I want to put it down. Can you hold my hand just for a minute, give me some emotional energy? Thanks.


Selene: [Takes alfreda into a mysterious, magical garden brimming with emotional energy. Holds her hand. Glances at her backpack.] Ah, a metaphysical pack. I've always wanted one of these, but they cost too much. I wonder how heavy this one is.

alfreda: Mm, you want it? [amazed at Selene's stupidity] 

Selene: [puts it on and staggers backwards, to the point of losing balance and falling over.] Holy crap...metaphysical packs are really freakin' heavy. [scowl] And it's not even physical. This thing weighs 0 pounds...wtf. [takes it off]

alfreda: Haha...not so easy, is it?

Selene: [grimace] Man, I can't handle this shit. You're in way better shape than me. [shakes head in disgust] Here you go--you can have it back. [struggles to pick it up with both arms, and then hands it over to alfreda]

alfreda: [grabs it easily with one hand]

Selene: Man...fuck you. Now you're just showing off...if I had a pack of my own, I'd be that strong too...[grumble grumble]


----------



## yesiknowbut

Ah, but you know, sharing it for just a minute makes it get a lot lighter. Thank you VERY much.


----------



## Selene

alfreda said:


> Ah, but you know, sharing it for just a minute makes it get a lot lighter. Thank you VERY much.


Haha, I'll try to hold it longer than just a minute next time. ^_^


----------



## Mei

Empathy is when someone has been through the same experience, and then they share. 
Sympathy is not having been through the experience, but when someone share this information with you, it brings forth a deep sense of emotion from you. 

They are different feelings. 

Empathy Bear, you must be God, if you can empathize with everything in this world.  
Good thread though cos well.... I think it's needed on this forum.


----------



## Alexz

Hey empathy bear, you should know we all love you and all the NF support you give to us.


----------



## devoid

Mei said:


> Empathy is when someone has been through the same experience, and then they share.
> Sympathy is not having been through the experience, but when someone share this information with you, it brings forth a deep sense of emotion from you.
> 
> They are different feelings.
> 
> Empathy Bear, you must be God, if you can empathize with everything in this world.
> Good thread though cos well.... I think it's needed on this forum.


Actually, I'm pretty sure you got it backward. 

em·pa·thy   
[em-puh-thee] Show IPA
–noun
1.
the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.
2.
the imaginative ascribing to an object, as a natural object or work of art, feelings or attitudes present in oneself: By means of empathy, a great painting becomes a mirror of the self.


sym·pa·thy   
[sim-puh-thee] Show IPA
noun, plural -thies, adjective
–noun
1.
harmony of or agreement in feeling, as between persons or on the part of one person with respect to another.
2.
the harmony of feeling naturally existing between persons of like tastes or opinion or of congenial dispositions.
3.
the fact or power of sharing the feelings of another, especially in sorrow or trouble; fellow feeling, compassion, or commiseration.


----------



## devoid

Empathy bear, I still struggle to appreciate myself as a unique individual. I also have difficulty facing my feelings. When I try to talk about feelings it comes out something like this; it's very logical and systematic and tells nothing about the actual emotional charge. So I have to push myself to actually admit that I have feelings, not just thoughts about feelings... here it goes.

I feel pathetic. I don't feel like I contribute anything to the world. This makes me frustrated and depressive because I very much want to be useful to other people and to the world. Although I am learning to love myself, I still get stuck in the loop of judging myself based on my accomplishments, which as of late are near to nothing. I feel like I don't deserve the person I am more or less with. After so many years of struggling to be the adult, now I look at myself and see a timid wavering child, and I am disappointed with myself.


----------



## lyricalnuisance

i feel......... sore. tired. a mite lonely but I am coping.


----------



## Quin Sabe

I feel like I have to shoot three arrows from a single bow simultaneously and hit three far targets in that one shot, to not fail at life. After being attributed publicly as an very skilled archer. It's not working out so well. My plans for colleges this fall is sand slipping through my hands. I'm exhausted and stressed, really needing a good reassuring huggle. =( But no fear, it's life, I just gotta keep going.

This is a great thread. It honestly helps. Thank you so much empathy bear for creating this.


----------



## Space Cat

Quin Sabe said:


> Empathy bear, do I need to compromise my belief that there are attractive, smart girls out there that would not just lay guy without a forming an actual relationship. I'm beginning to doubt that they exist, and or I'll ever come across them. I really want someone special, and have someone who wants to start a relationship with but I'm just not attracted to them physically, and that makes me feel like a bad person in a way. Shouldn't there be more than looks?


Story of my life =.=
(edit, this is supposed to say that you're not alone, obviously i'm not a great help for this had been bothering me.)


----------

