# NFs: Socionics says chase romantically...



## Boolean11 (Jun 11, 2012)

Duality - Wikisocion*
INFJs chase ESTPs
ENFJs chase ISTPs
ENFPs chase ISTJs
INFPs chase ESTJs*

This advice is obviously different from MBTI which tells you other wise. So what do you guys really think on this topic. Socionics says that once the two parties get over the superficial barriers you set up (each other's super ego and id functions) there is a lot that can be learnt healthily and this is supposedly the most recommended paring. 

Plus NFs do you think that you are falling to confirmation bias when you are told that X personality is the best for your relationship potential? 



> *In romance*
> 
> Romantic relationships affect the most intimate areas of a person's functioning, so dualization in this area will have the greatest affect on a person's life.The early stages of a dual romance may be similar to any other relationship where infatuation is present, but what is different is the psychological distance between the partners. The naturally close distance causes partners to relax internally and be more spontaneous than they would be in most other relationships. Duals quickly recognize that their partner is not overly concerned with their weaknesses and is not going to criticize sore spots. In romance dual partners quickly move from stereotyped romantic behavior to what is actually natural and sincere for them. Partners may find that they "discover themselves" through the dual relationship. By seeking out their true desires and natural tendencies and ignoring societal expectations, they actually enrich the relationship and gladden their partner. If a person has not enjoyed dual relations before, experiencing them for the first time will likely be a transformational experience. In the initial stage of a dual relationship, partners often "drop out" of society for a period of time to devote energy to the new relationship and the exciting process of self-discovery.
> 
> ...


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## cyamitide (Jul 8, 2010)

Socionics intertype relationships have played out as predicted in my experience, however, they are greatly diluted by other factors and tend to not be the decisive factor in determining how a relationship will unfold. They do leave their imprint, but it's a vague one.

Intertype relations suggest going after types that have your cognitive functions in reverse order. So for INFJ (Ni,Fe,Ti,Se) the better match is suggested to be ESTP (Se,Ti,Fe,Ni) rather than ENTP whose Ne doesn't match INFJ's requirement for Se.

Another point to keep in mind is that duality works better when you are at least in your mid-20s and older. This is because younger people reject their inferior (anima) function strongly, which may impart a certain hostility towards their duals, who have their inferior function as their dominant. Older individuals whose ego functions (dominant and auxiliary aka creative) have already established themselves are more tolerant of people of their dual type, making dualization process more likely to occur.


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## lemondropG (Nov 11, 2010)

*Shrug* I still like ENFPs the best


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## IcarusDreams (Apr 23, 2011)

I know what I theoretically prefer: NFs. That said, NFs must not be my "best" mate, because it all boil downs to the individual. Therefore, I don't lose sleep on "type compatibilities"-it just so happens that most of the people I like tend to be NFs.

Thus, socionics type-matching does nothing for me (totally no offense intended.)

Ironically, all personology studies should, IMHO, lead us to a better recognition of ourselves and others, and not just to decide who should be our friends or mates based on "type compatibility", which is but a loose guide. Of course I relate to most NFs more, but SJs are also human, so I can relate to them as well-especially kowing the MBTI and Keirsey temperaments. Would I intentionally seek out an "ESTJ"? Probably not, but I would also not judge her "not good enough" for me based _just_ on her type (it has to be noted that I have never been attracted to an ESTJ, though, but not just due to some unfair personal bias.)

Back on the ESTJ-INFP issue, if we are to speak theoretically, I don't really think it's the best match, socionics or otherwise. There's too many behavioral preferences that may clash, and only if they made a commitment to understanding and respect each other, as well as genuinely loving each other, I can see it working. BUT that applies to any other couples as well-2 NFs are not bound to be happy together if they don't love each other enough to accept BOTH their similarities and differences (as no two people, regardless type, are alike.) Still, theoretically speaking, I can't relate to how some can see any "personality fit" in these oh-so-different personality types (disregarding individual dynamics, which are the most important thing in the end.)


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