# Sexual Preference



## Monsieur Melancholy (Nov 16, 2012)

This is slightly different than asking about sexual orientation because heterosexual will most likely be the majority, with everything else a distant minority.

This poll, however, asks simply if you are sexually attracted to females or to males. If you are bisexual, vote both. If you are non-sexual/asexual, vote neither I guess.

If this vote is anything outside of close to even, it might shed some light on which gender is generally more attractive sexually. Just a thought. I could be wrong.


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## Nekomata (May 26, 2012)

Both, and neither. I don't think you're able to vote for nothing in a poll if you're asexual though... otherwise, I clicked both, because I'm sexually challenged. xP


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## Monsieur Melancholy (Nov 16, 2012)

As I predicted might happen, females are in the lead.

There's a reason they're called "the fairer sex."


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## Scootaloo (Mar 18, 2013)

Heyy. Where did all the male love go? Some fellas are pretty wonderful...


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## KaiserinRose (Mar 27, 2013)

I'm attracted to males of any nationality and ethnicity.


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## CaptSwan (Mar 31, 2013)

Looks like we males at PerC aren't getting enough love... C'mon, where is it?


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## Jerzy Urban (Apr 6, 2013)

As a guy i always wondered what women are attracted in when it comes to men = /


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## personalityp (Jun 14, 2013)

Odyssey said:


> As a guy i always wondered what women are attracted in when it comes to men = /


I once wrote an essay on the subject, read if u're interested, sorry for bad language, not native english. (do bare in mind tho, that this can be biased from one perspective):

*Prince charming, harming syndrome – a subjective discussion about female mating preference; “nice guys” versus “bad guys”.*

Casual observation on female mating preference in modern “meat market”, especially among youths has puzzled me for some time now. Popular beliefs dictate that females usually value highly traits like; sensitiveness, warmth, kindness and politeness – but, is this actually the case? The mentioned traits could be summed up like the stereotypical image of a non-sexually attractive “nice guy”. This can be illustrated by a post at a comment section found on psychologytoday.com:
_I am an Engineer, and surrounded by a whole bunch of absolutely wonderful, intelligent, rich, giving, emotionally generous, beta males who are my Engineer colleagues. I love them all and keep friendships with all of them. The problem is, I have no desire to become physical with any of them. I just can't do it. I still find myself rejecting all the beta males who would make perfect mates and partners, in favor of the alpha males with narcissist traits. My genes seem to want their genes. Those are the kind of men I am drawn to and want to mate with. Sorry to all the wonderful beta males everywhere. _
Most studies on mate preference rely on self-reported data. Is this a problem? According to the nice guy stereotype, women often say they want nice men but in actuality choose “bad guys”, especially if they are physically attractive. The term “bad guy”, a cultural archetype can be defined as a person that is arrogant, confident, grandiose, egoistic, deceiving, dominant and straightforward. Lately there has been much discussion about narcissism and why, narcissistic traits (“bad guy” attributes) are appealing to many females. In my discussion I will try to understand on the basis of research results why and if it is true, that “nice guys” so often falls in the shadow of the “bad guys”. These two archetypes are naturally generalizations, as it is unreasonable to categorize males into two opposite pools.
First things first though. Let us take a look at the cultural changes concerning mating behavior in modern industrial society. Why? I would like to demonstrate the reasons I believe we might soon have a bunch of sexually frustrated “nice guys”, later to be called “geeks” in their unsuccessful attempts to achieve closeness.
Finland for example, has seen radical changes in society over the past 50 years. Individualization, prolonged education, contraceptives and equality of gender may be among the several reasons why the marriage age mean is 32.5 for males and 30.2 for females. If we take into account the 51.2 % divorce rate for first time marriage, we result in a very high pool of unmarried singles and a bowling kettle of nightlife. Consequently this means short time relationships, sexual relationships and “one-night stands” have become increasingly popular and at times, preferred over long time relationships. Midst the self-actualization, both females and males in general, prefers to finish education and achieve economic goals before settling down for committed relationships. I can imagine the saying; “Live wild, while you can” is not too unfamiliar. Sadly enough, the need of sexual closeness and touch remains unsatisfied for many “nice guys”, especially before the age of 30. Why, do I only mention “nice guys”, and not for example “nice girls”. Frankly speaking, females can choose to have sexual contact on the spot, regardless of their attributes. As it may sound provoking or exaggerated, I will back up this claim by referring to a study by Hald and Høgh-Olesen (2010). 
The study investigated individuals' acceptance of various dating and sexual requests. Research assistants of average attractiveness were asked to introduce themselves to strangers of the opposite sex in public by saying, _"Hi, my name is … I am sorry to disturb you like this, but I have been noticing you around and find you very attractive"._ The research assistant then continued: "Would you go to bed with me tonight or during the week/weekend?"
When individuals in a relationship were excluded from the result, 59% of males but 0% of women agreed to casual sex. These numbers obviously mirrors the elementary sexual differences between males and females. According to evolutionary theory, the fact that males can reproduce as many times they wish, with an endless count of sperm leads us to the conclusion that the best way to spread his genes is to have sexual intercourse whenever possible. In contrast, females normally produce one viable egg per month. Having sexual intercourse additionally leaves them to foster the child for the next 18 years. The need for a female to be selective is unquestionable.
With the background information in our baggage, let us turn our attention back on the topic. Self-reported mate preference studies have shown that women in general, prefer “nice guys” over bad guys for both sexual and romantic partners. In a preference study by Linsenmeier et al. (2002), females were asked to spend a “budget” on various partner attributes. The results showed, according to popular beliefs, that kindness and sensitiveness was the most essential characteristics in mate selection. But what about the contradicting nice guy theory? Could this study possibly have some methodological biases? It might be important to consider that expressing praise for characteristics like sensitiveness and commitment could biased by what is socially and culturally desirable.
The proposed bias of self-report measures was taken into account by Weiderman and Dubois (1998), who used behavioral measures to assess female and male preference for mate selection and found discrepancy between self-perceptions and behavior, especially for females. Males accurately indicated that physical attractiveness was the most important characteristic that influenced their partner preference. On the contrary, females inaccurately indicated that relationship commitment was the most important factor, when in fact it was one of the least important factors behaviorally. 
An interesting study was also conducted by Urbaniak (2006). The study investigated what factors, among males predicted success in “casual-dating relationships”, “one-time sexual encounter”, “casual-sex relationships” and “Committed relationships.”
191 male undergraduates were asked to fill a questionnaire about their relationship history. Example questions from the questionnaire was: _“With how many women have you had a casual-sex relationship”, “How satisfied are you with your success in terms of being able to engage in casual relationships” and “Over the course of your dating history, how many times that you have wanted to have an ongoing sexual relationship have you actually succeed?”._
The participants also filled the agreeableness subscale from NEO personality inventory, as it was speculated that high points of agreeableness was characteristic for “good guys” and low points characteristic for “bad guys”. Acording to Costa & McCrae (1991), the developers of the test, agreeableness measures trust, altruism, compliance, modesty and tender-mindedness.
The result supported the idea that females prefer “bad guys” over “good guys”. Low points on agreeableness predicted high success on all four relationships categories, whilst high score predicted low success in the four categories. Physical attractiveness also predicted high success on all four relationship categories.
This far it can be concluded that physical attractiveness and low agreeableness seems to hold high general value for female preference of sexual partners. What is it then that makes males physically attractive? Sadalla, Kenrick and Vershure (1985) found that women were sexually attracted to high values of dominance in men. Although the results did not show that dominance made men more likable, it gives support that dominance plays an important role in physical attractiveness.
Hald and Høgh-Olesen (2010) also confirmed the importance of dominance in sexual attraction. In their research they investigated individuals’ acceptance of various dating and sexual requests. They found that attractiveness had a high positive correlation with acceptance among females. According to the research, what more made males attractive? Apart from physical fitness - dominance, confidence and mysteriousness added to the perceived physical attractiveness of males. A similar research about gender difference in receptivity to sexual offers by Clark & Hatfield (1989) revealed that males perceived as sexually skilled, was also more likely to receive positive answers by females. 
The question then arises, what factors makes males to be perceived sexually skilled? Unfortunately I was unable to find scientific research about the topic. However, according to Jeremy Nicholson, Ph.D in social psychology and sexual therapist; sexual skill can be communicated non-verbally through relaxed and assured body language. He argues that this demonstrates a certain level of ease and skill with the body. Taking physical space, making good eye contact, and smiling could show one to be a bit more sexually skilled.
Bogaert and Fisher (1995) also studied the relationships between personality and the number of sexual partners among male university undergraduates. The results showed a high correlation between the amount of sexual partners and attributes like sensation-seeking, hyper masculinity, physical attractiveness and testosterone level. They also found that low points on “agreeableness” and “conscientiousness” from the NEO personality inventory had a positive correlation with the number of sexual partners. 
To sum all previous results together. It seems in order to succeed in finding intimacy before committing to marriage at later adulthood, being a “nice guy” isn’t always so nice. Dominance, low agreeableness, low consciousness, high confidence and hyper masculinity are all traits typical for the “bad guy” archetype. As an end of this discussion I will cite a writer from an internet column who phrased it this way: 
_A wise man once told me, ‘As a man, you have to die once in order to live.’ I never fully appreciated his advice, nor did I understand it until I experienced it firsthand. From that time on, I understood the origins of the Jerk vs. Nice Guy battle. Readers may be asking themselves, ‘What in the world is this guy talking about?’ Well, I’m referring to the widely known fact that women habitually date men that are jerks while the ‘nice’ guys are often left twiddling their thumbs in solitaire. Does this sound familiar to anyone? Figuratively speaking, in order for a man to enjoy the company of women and be able to seduce them, his inner nice guy must first die through heartache. It is at this point that his inner bad boy surfaces and goes on the prowl. (Smith, 2002)_


References: (can't post all since i'm restricted to not post links)
Bogaert, A. F.; Fisher, W. A. (1995). - Predictors of university men's number of sexual partners. Journal of Sex Research 32 (2): 119–130
Costa, P. T., Jr., McCrae, R. R., & Dye, D. A. (1991) - Facet scales for agreeableness and conscientiousness: A revision of the NEO Personality Inventory. Personality and Individual Differences, 12, 887–898.
Sadalla, E., Kenrick, D., & Vershure, B. (1987) - Dominance and heterosexual attraction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52, 730–738.
Urbaniak, GC (2006) - Niceness and dating success: A further test of the *nice** guy* stereotype.
SEX ROLES 55 (3-4): 209-224 AUG 2006
Clark, R. D., & Hatfield, E. (1989) - Gender differences in receptivity to sexual offers. Journal of Psychology and Human Sexuality, 2, 39-55.
Hald, G. M., & Høgh-Olesen, H. (2010) - Receptivity to sexual invitations from strangers of the opposite gender. Evolution and Human Behavior, 31, 453-458.


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## Random Ness (Oct 13, 2010)

1. Gender =/= sex and it's better to say 'gender' instead of 'sex'
2. There are more gender identities than male or female

I'd suggest looking up transgendered and genderqueer. You'll learn lots.


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## ilphithra (Jun 22, 2010)

Monsieur Melancholy said:


> This is slightly different than asking about sexual orientation because heterosexual will most likely be the majority, with everything else a distant minority.
> 
> This poll, however, asks simply if you are sexually attracted to females or to males. If you are bisexual, vote both. If you are non-sexual/asexual, vote neither I guess.
> 
> If this vote is anything outside of close to even, it might shed some light on which gender is generally more attractive sexually. Just a thought. I could be wrong.


Here's one for you...

My sex is female but my gender is male. _(I have gender identity disorder. I keep my PerC gender as female for convenience as a lot of people still mix gender with sex)_.

If you judge by my sex, I'm homosexual.
If you judge by my gender, I'm heterosexual.

So, what am I attracted to? 

Gender: Female
Sex: Female


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## elixare (Aug 26, 2010)

I'm heterosexual and am attracted to females, though I admit that sometimes there are certain men that make me go like "holy shit I'd totally go gay for him" just as a quick brief impulse

But at the end of the day, I'm only sexually attracted to women and only have sex with women


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## MadRabbit (Feb 7, 2013)

Random Ness said:


> 1. Gender =/= sex and it's better to say 'gender' instead of 'sex'
> 2. There are more gender identities than male or female
> 
> I'd suggest looking up transgendered and genderqueer. You'll learn lots.


In the past few weeks I have been researching gender identity like mad . It's such an interesting subject! Especially genderqueers fascinate me.


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## Christie42476 (May 25, 2012)

On the rare occasions I experience sexual attraction at all, I'm exclusively attractive to males. But when I do experience it, it's major. I guess I'm kind of all-or-nothing when it comes to this area of life.


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## sanari (Aug 23, 2011)

Your control is nonexistent. You need a set number of males and a set number of females in order to make the conclusion you are looking for. If the majority of voters are straight males, they will overpower straight females and others.


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## Observer (Jun 20, 2013)

I'm simply a heterosexual male attracted to females. Almost sound boring when typing it like that.


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## Thief Noctis (Jan 6, 2012)

Eh. Can't deny there's a couple girls/women I might've been temporarily attracted to before but I could never see myself actually wanting to date any. I voted males.


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## Mind Virus (Jul 5, 2013)

I am attracted to females.


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## Aquarian (Jun 17, 2012)

Woman, attracted to women


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## dvnj22 (Apr 24, 2013)

I really like blow up dolls, I mean women.


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## lethal lava land (Aug 2, 2011)

Man, attracted to men

though I will readily admit if and when a girl is cute/hot..the only difference is that's where the admiration stops. Like for example, I love Zooey Deschanel to death..she's adorable.


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