# Most awkward songs to have sex to... in the world, ever



## anotherjenny (Mar 3, 2011)

I've had extensive conversations about this with friends. These are some of my top choices:


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## LotusBlossom (Apr 2, 2011)




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## SullenAesir (Apr 10, 2011)

Mister Rogers was my first choice...

Skip to ~00:30


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## eagleisadreamer (Jul 27, 2011)

Please don't hate me forever for this one...


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## Seeker99 (Jan 13, 2010)

This actually happened to my friend... xD This song came on at a critical moment:


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## Sheppard (Jul 4, 2011)

love this topic


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## anotherjenny (Mar 3, 2011)

@ SullenAesir HA! I did not think of Willy Wonka... 

Here's another. I think the beat is actually a good one for sex, but I can't listen to this without laughing uncontrollably. Actually, I tried working out to this because of the beat and almost fell off my elliptical laughing.


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## KC (May 5, 2011)




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## Hosker (Jan 19, 2011)




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## anotherjenny (Mar 3, 2011)

I figured it was only a matter of time before the Nyan Cat song showed up...


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## alextyrian (May 2, 2011)




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## eagleisadreamer (Jul 27, 2011)

anotherjenny said:


> I figured it was only a matter of time before the Nyan Cat song showed up...


Couldn't resist:


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

Well, I don't consider it actually awkward, but I couldn't help but sing along. The nerd is strong me. It happened to the very annoyance of the girl in question, but it was totally worth it.


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## LotusBlossom (Apr 2, 2011)

Erbse said:


> Well, I don't consider it actually awkward, but I couldn't help but sing along. The nerd is strong me. It happened to the very annoyance of the girl in question, but it was totally worth it.


it's Robot Unicorn Attack all over again!


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

Kayness said:


> it's Robot Unicorn Attack all over again!


Well, singing those joyful lines of pure awesomeness beats sex any time of the day.

Not like she understood, though


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## Third Engine (Dec 28, 2009)

This might actually make it hilarious.


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## sprinkles (Feb 7, 2010)




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## alextyrian (May 2, 2011)

This thread should be like, 200 pages by now. What's up with this forum?


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## Arbite (Dec 26, 2010)




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## anotherjenny (Mar 3, 2011)

alextyrian said:


> This thread should be like, 200 pages by now. What's up with this forum?


I know! I was sure I'd go out for the day, come back, and be entertained for hours. Maybe people actually have something to do on a Saturday? 

Like anyone would ever live life apart from PerC...


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## MissJordan (Dec 21, 2010)

[Removed, as it _apparently _wasn't awkward enough]


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## blit (Dec 17, 2010)

_Is this some kind of bucket list?_


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## Erudis (Jan 23, 2011)




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## Onericali (Jul 29, 2011)

I love you, you love me, we're a happy family...


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## Donkey D Kong (Feb 14, 2011)

Obvious answer


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## ProfessorLiver (Mar 19, 2011)

This is one of my favourite stories, as it is partly one of my greatest failures, and one of the most glorious moments in the history of almost-sex. 
This is the story of how 4chan ensured I would never do the dirty with my current girlfriend, ever.
And not in the way you think.
Yes, this one hundred percent true, certified by the FDA. The only fictitious part of this anecdote may lie in the fact that, by saying it looked as if "Michaelangelo himself chiseled it out of marble in heaven for God", i have underrate my butt. 

Please, read on, you will be in for a treat.

Let me set the scene for you. I will try my best to paint you a word picture. You can fill in the blanks with your imagination. Isn't this fun? A girl I'd once had a short fling with and I were alone in her house. We both obviously have feeling for each other. I pull up my computer, so as to watch "Full Metal Jacket" (I don't know, but something about the phrase "Communist shit twinkle-toed cocksucker" really stirred something in her loins). We were rather close together, I was in my regular work attire, which would be a "Basic Editions" shirt from SEARS. Grey. I was wearing my nice pants, which are basically skinny jeans (skinnier than average, but not skin-tight) that are understitched with elastic.
Now, this was her and my first time with each other. She had a very shy boyfriend before, which is fine I suppose, but they had some irreconcilable differences, I believe in the form of "BATSHIT INSANE EX GIRLFRIEND". Whatever. I don't know the details. All I know is that we both hadn't been laid in a while, and the first one, even though it was a freebie, would set the sexual tone of the rest of our relationship. The sexual tone, by the by, would be a sizable portion of the relationship, as she was rather physical.

So we're sitting there, basically cuddling, as R. Lee Ermey gets all up in the grill (re:double chin) of a time-travelling Detective Goren. All of a sudden (in a totally expected manner. Seriously, the woman is more predictable than math) she up and kisses me. It was just a peck before she pulled away, but I could just somehow read her ladylike charm and come-hither lingering on my lower lip that just told me, intuitively, as someone who knew her on as many levels as a man can know a woman the wanted more. She might have also hinted at it by placing her hand on my jegging'd junk, but whatever, I'm James Bond.

Now, things progressed rather quickly from there. We'd never gotten very physical in our previous fling, so this seemd long overdue. Tongues didn't tease the roof of the other's mouth, daring the opposing tongue to retaliate in a sexy, beautiful war. It was more like total war, where one tongue ran into the other's village, ransacked the town and carried the tongues daughter off to be his wife. This metaphor is derailing the idea.

Anyway, Suffice to say she ended up on top of me (what, you expected me to do the work the first time?), both of us with our shirts off and the latex cylinder of pleasure-ribbing, lubricant and contraception burying itself into my left butt cheek (both look as if they were sculpted of marble by Michaelangelo in Heaven for God, you'll be pleased to know. That has nothing to do with the story, i just want the climax of the story, so to speak have a buildup harder than Cloverfield). I slowly retracted my fingers from the depths of aforementioned loins, smelling very vaguely of the shellfish isle on an Alaskan pier, but from about twenty yards down wind. Up til then, when I stopped to ever-so-suavely fumble my faithful rubber sidekick, I was no longer distracted, and noticed a song fading away in the background. I saw on top of her discarded sundress (yes, she was practically throwing herself on top of me and yelling "DO ME BABY") was a her green iPod, set on shuffle. The song fading was "Grown So Ugly", by the Black Keys, which is a wonderful song when you're about to play "Hide The Veiny, Fleshy Pickle" (it's like hide the saltine, except instead of a saltine, it's a penis, and instead of anywhere on the planet, ever, it's the closest, nakedest woman's baby-shooter). 

But it could never prepare us, for what happened next. 

You know how in those corny old movies, the supervillain will verrrrrrrrrrrry sloooooooooooowly presses the button that verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry slooooooooooooowly lowers our hero, a pure, Aryan man sent to find off the evil Nazis into a pool of lava, and at the last minute he makes a daring escape, to everyone's surprise and utter delight? It was like that. Except imagine a penis (preferably a large one. I don't want to you picturing me packing a Makarov. It's a least an M1911. Make it a Deagle) going verrrry slooowly towards a, uh, twat. And then, and iPod touch, verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwly changing images, for a split second, the most dreaded mug in a suit in the history of naughty, raunchy , loooooong overdue sex pops up. His eyes subtly mocked me, his browline, prominent as the Andes and twice as majestic, voluptuous lips teasing me, drawing me in. He looks a second away from laughter, as if he had plan this, like a semi-competent Dr. No. His soundwaves were sound Kryptonite, to our sex's Superman. A glorious, shining beacon of hope, and light, truth ad justice, brought to it's knees by a short Irish kid, and an abrupt lead in....

To that noise

You know the noise

Electronic

Drums










NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Yes my friends, after all that sexy tension, doing foreplay like it was damn chess game, tit for tat, pleasure tactics being used in full, just to see who begs for more with a soft whimper of ecstasy, a staring contest...*OF SEX*.

Suffice to say we can't have sex now, until Rick Astley is dead, buried, and encased in molten lava and a diamond-titanium coffin, deep in caverns of the earth.






The only place his melodic baritone will not sensually roll across the mountains


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## Exemplar (Jul 23, 2011)

Though if she's up for it, w/e.


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## shadowofambivalence (May 11, 2011)

these seem pretty akward to me


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## antiant (Jul 4, 2010)

LOL! <3!


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## dagnytaggart (Jun 6, 2010)

This is what happens when you carelessly click on a random playlist while getting in the mood:

YouTube - Germs - "Weird Al" Yankovic


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## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

Unless you're into angry sex, this song might be awkward:


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

The Rolling Stones-Paint it black





 
Geto Boyz-Still





 
Willy Wonka-Pure Imagination


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## anotherjenny (Mar 3, 2011)

@ @antiant

I don't think I've ever seen such an awkward collection of videos. Where on earth did you find that woman playing the keyboard thingy?

And why is that black guy running through forests so dramatically?

I think this would be a good one to add:


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## PseudoSenator (Mar 7, 2010)




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## blit (Dec 17, 2010)




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## Drewbie (Apr 28, 2010)

:|


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## antiant (Jul 4, 2010)

anotherjenny said:


> @ @antiant
> 
> I don't think I've ever seen such an awkward collection of videos. Where on earth did you find that woman playing the keyboard thingy?
> 
> ...


LOL I am attracted to the ridiculous/bizarre/strange/weird/different, etc. I find things like this amusing, I blame it on my strong curiosity, exploratory and creative nature. If it's 'odd' in some shape or form, I'm there or it comes to me, I'm like a magnet for those kinds of things.

Here is some more:


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## anotherjenny (Mar 3, 2011)

antiant said:


> LOL I am attracted to the ridiculous/bizarre/strange/weird/different, etc. I find things like this amusing, I blame it on my strong curiosity, exploratory and creative nature. If it's 'odd' in some shape or form, I'm there or it comes to me, I'm like a magnet for those kinds of things.


hahahahahah I wish there were a way to thank your post like 1000 times.... I laughed soooo hard at the "my mother smokes crack rocks" one! I, too, think these things are hilarious. You must have seen this one... Which would also be a great song for this thread:


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## Mutatio NOmenis (Jun 22, 2009)




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## BrightenUp (Jun 2, 2010)

Well, maybe not...


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## Agile (Sep 27, 2010)




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## DiaphinisedBat (Jul 21, 2011)

Basically.


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## Hardstyler (Sep 4, 2010)

Sorry had to put in some awesome Hardstyle ^.^


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## Somniorum (Oct 7, 2010)

i'm curious how many of these are *actual* examples of songs that've ruined sex for the poster, or someone the poster knows, and what are just guesses of "this'd be terrible"?


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## Kr3m1in (Jan 16, 2011)

THIS:


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## antiant (Jul 4, 2010)

kr3m1in said:


> this:


Polska do boju!!! Kurwa! Disco Polo jest najlepsze! :crazy: :wink:


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## cricket (Jan 10, 2011)




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## Agelaius (Apr 3, 2010)

'Nuff said.


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## Theclassof2014 (Jun 23, 2011)

YOUR FUCKED IF THIS COMES ON




10 HOURS 1 SECOND OF DO A BARREL ROLL!!!!!!


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## eagleisadreamer (Jul 27, 2011)

Theclassof2014 said:


> YOUR FUCKED IF THIS COMES ON


So what you're saying is that it's a win/win situation? :smile:


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## SuburbanLurker (Sep 26, 2010)

Funny sex is best sex :crazy:


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## Kr3m1in (Jan 16, 2011)

@antiant
it's still damn awkward to to do it to it to the Polish National anthem..but nice lexicon there


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## antiant (Jul 4, 2010)

Kr3m1in said:


> @antiant
> it's still damn awkward to to do it to it to the Polish National anthem..but nice lexicon there


True, I'd be too busy cracking up laughing and not get anywhere. Dzieki.


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## Kr3m1in (Jan 16, 2011)

antiant said:


> True, I'd be too busy cracking up laughing and not get anywhere. Dzieki.


It's so triumphantly fucked over, the mood of that song, I couldn't get it up. Metaphorically speaking.

You're very welcome.


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## fffffffffffffigs (Jun 23, 2011)




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## Kriash (May 5, 2011)

Apologies if any of these have been posted, I didn't read the entire thread.


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## viva (Aug 13, 2010)




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## Pachacutie (Aug 27, 2010)

Going around the room, talkin bout our favorite noise... I said I had a brother in The Backstreet boys...


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## anotherjenny (Mar 3, 2011)

I'm truly thrilled, proud, disturbed, and nauseated by the variety of songs I've seen featured here. Well done, all!

Now, all that's left to do is make a CD labeled "Bang Mix," give it to your hapless friend, and let the fun commence.


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## PseudoSenator (Mar 7, 2010)

Bumpitty bump.


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## PseudoSenator (Mar 7, 2010)

* Maybe not as awkward as ironic...* Rocking song btw.


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## Dylio (Jul 4, 2011)

I've never got it on to an awkward song, but I've gotten it on while watching the movie "Teeth." I couldn't prevent laughing when they said "I've been having impure thoughts" right as I was pounding out some thrusts haha


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## LittleBird1923 (Jul 28, 2011)

*This would definitely spoil the mood.*


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## LittleBird1923 (Jul 28, 2011)

*This would definitely spoil the mood.*


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## antiant (Jul 4, 2010)

LOL...


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## anotherjenny (Mar 3, 2011)

@antiant why are you being my hero so hard?????

The Charo video......... aaahahahahahahahah


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## Agelaius (Apr 3, 2010)

Every single one of these just seem like a challenge to me... I'll just uh, keep that under wraps... it's for the best, probably :mellow:


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## antiant (Jul 4, 2010)

anotherjenny said:


> @<span class="highlight"><i><a href="http://personalitycafe.com/member.php?u=10836" target="_blank">antiant</a></i></span> why are you being my hero *so hard*?????
> 
> The Charo video......... aaahahahahahahahah


I don't know o.0. *whispers to self* Must not think sexual innuendo's, must not think sexual innuendo's. *sits in lotus position* ommmmmmm.

Speaking of hero...





















Gotta admit I actually like this song below, lol:


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## TJSeabury (Nov 23, 2010)

anotherjenny said:


> @ SullenAesir HA! I did not think of Willy Wonka...
> 
> Here's another. I think the beat is actually a good one for sex, but I can't listen to this without laughing uncontrollably. Actually, I tried working out to this because of the beat and almost fell off my elliptical laughing.


I dunno dude. I could possible get pretty rowdy with that! XD Then again I friggin' love EDM. lol

*ALLOW ME TO COUNTER!!*


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## FreeSpirit (Jun 1, 2011)

mostly it's the baby noises during the chorus of this song:






It's as if while everything's all sexy and what not, 
you're having a premonition.


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

For some reason, I thought of this song when looking at the title of this thread. Man/woman hatin songs.


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## clear moon (Feb 7, 2010)

vivacissimamente said:


>


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## antiant (Jul 4, 2010)

LMAO...


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## TJSeabury (Nov 23, 2010)

Found via Family Guy!


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## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

I was going down on someone once when this song came on:





...and I started laughing, totally ruining the mood.

"One of the wonders of the world is going down." 

Yeah, I know, that's not what the song means by it, but it cracked me up anyhow.


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## antiant (Jul 4, 2010)




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## Sara Torailles (Dec 14, 2010)

I would think it would be awkward to have sex with this on.


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## Agelaius (Apr 3, 2010)

Torai said:


> I would think it would be awkward to have sex with this on.


Dunno, I actually like Sanctus Real, and with the lyrics of that song... hehehe. I'd probably be laughing along. Wouldn't kill the mood so much as make the entire ordeal far from serious... *far* from it xD


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## antiant (Jul 4, 2010)




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## Resolution (Feb 8, 2010)

Sex will never be the same


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## TJSeabury (Nov 23, 2010)

Btmangan said:


> Sex will never be the same







*I WIN.*


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## Resolution (Feb 8, 2010)

TJSeabury said:


> *I WIN.*


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## Jorji (Oct 24, 2009)




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## TJSeabury (Nov 23, 2010)

Btmangan said:


>


*And what a heroically noble coupling it would be!*

...before this guy...


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## Agelaius (Apr 3, 2010)

Bonus points if you not only listen to it while doing it, but manage to do a variation of the dance as well.


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## DustyDrill (May 20, 2011)




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## Stephen (Jan 17, 2011)




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## Aqualung (Nov 21, 2009)




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## possiBri (Jan 4, 2011)




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## antiant (Jul 4, 2010)

<3


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## DiaphinisedBat (Jul 21, 2011)




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## reletative (Dec 17, 2010)




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## shadowofambivalence (May 11, 2011)




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## Resolution (Feb 8, 2010)




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## Erudis (Jan 23, 2011)

@antiant

It could be the large quantity of videos, but I got the feeling that your list was already made before posting here. Is this a hobby or were you already planning something? Maybe building a database of songs for a "social experiment"?


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## antiant (Jul 4, 2010)

Erudis said:


> @antiant
> 
> It could be the large quantity of videos, but I got the feeling that your list was already made before posting here. Is this a hobby or were you already planning something? Maybe building a database of songs for a "social experiment"?


I'm heavily into music (check last.fm link below) and I'm attracted to the bizarre, weird, or just outlandish things in general(music, people, etc), so anything of that nature I'm usually there and know about it in some respects. Not exactly a hobby per se, just an affinity for this type of stuff as I relate to it and I'm that way myself. I like to challenge, shock and desensitize myself/perceptions and sometimes people (social experiment) because it tells me what they are all about quickly, in order to gain a bigger perspective. Due to all of this I'm pretty accepting and open. I have a very exploratory and curious nature. Sometimes it leads me into trouble and sometimes I shock myself, but more often than not, I gain a whole hell of a lot. It's kind of like putting your finger into an electrical socket, most people would not do it, but eventually you figure out how to do it without getting shocked, lol. Often times people assume it's an ulterior motive thing, but it is not, it's a strong and deeply held curiosity that is deep within me and so because of this I like to probe and poke around. It's kind of like, "Ohhh let's try this and see what happens, or what we can discover!"


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## ficsci (May 4, 2011)

Wouldn't any song be awkward?

Especially aerobics music?


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## 18211 (Jan 30, 2011)




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## BlackMamba (Aug 5, 2011)

DEFINITELY THE BEST EVER! DONT YOU PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH!!


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## cricket (Jan 10, 2011)

Maybe this is just a personal thing, but I would feel really awkward if it were oceanic sounds or like yoga music or something. It's supposed to be relaxing, but... I'll take the silence. Flutes or tree frogs... ugh.


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## TJSeabury (Nov 23, 2010)




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## Thalassa (Jun 10, 2010)

You really have to be careful with the 80's stations.


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## Britt Mathis (Aug 11, 2011)

Actually... I take it back. This would be *awesome* to have sex to. lol.


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## Unknownstateofmind (May 24, 2010)

Same as above, this could be awesome to make love to:laughing:


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## Aqualung (Nov 21, 2009)

the original song would probably be worse but it's not available on Youtube, oddly.


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## Heather White Karnas (Mar 23, 2011)

Christmas songs in general are never a good idea.. but here are some of my favorite Christmas songs that I would never be able to hear during sex without having to stop immediately and turn it! LOL


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## Black Rabbit (Apr 15, 2010)

Picturing sex to polka is fucking hilarious.


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## Black Rabbit (Apr 15, 2010)




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## Alaiyo Sakuri (Jan 1, 2009)




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## clicheguevara (Jul 27, 2011)




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## PoppyPeedOnMySofa (May 31, 2010)




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## gloosle (Oct 20, 2009)

Oh man, these are awesome. 






Only because I would start crying from laughing so hard.


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## Heather White Karnas (Mar 23, 2011)




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## Heather White Karnas (Mar 23, 2011)




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## Lula (Aug 6, 2010)

SUPER FUNNY SONG! And really awkward, I'd imagine.
Personally, I'd love to have sex to 'Creep' by Radiohead. It's my dream.


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## Humilis Curator (Feb 26, 2010)

What you call awkward, I call completely hilarious.


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## Aqualung (Nov 21, 2009)




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## Ranoosha (Nov 18, 2010)

anotherjenny said:


> I've had extensive conversations about this with friends. These are some of my top choices:


i freaking loved mr. Rogers !! RIP. i wonder what type he was any ideas???


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## Ranoosha (Nov 18, 2010)




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## Neon Knight (Aug 11, 2010)

I imagine any Michael Jackson or R Kelly song would kill the mood.


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## Luke (Oct 17, 2010)




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## cricket (Jan 10, 2011)

@HeatherWhiteKarnas I would have to disagree with you on these, simply because I love them so much haha


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## Donkey D Kong (Feb 14, 2011)

Britt Mathis said:


> Actually... I take it back. This would be *awesome* to have sex to. lol.


"Could you stop sucking my dick for 1 second!? I'm trying to watch Pokemon!"


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## Ephemerald (Aug 27, 2011)

*On a loop!*


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## PeopleDoNotThink (Sep 1, 2011)

Yup... Look up the lyrics in the likely event you can't understand it


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## Empress Appleia Cattius XII (Dec 22, 2010)




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