# Unhealthy Dual Relationships; Is your dual really the best thing for you?



## Foxyfox (Oct 21, 2016)

Carla Rose said:


> So I'm guessing dual relationships are the best ones, romantically speaking? 😮 What types are an INFJ girl's duals?


Which infj? Mbti or socionics ?


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## Carla Rose (Feb 28, 2013)

Foxyfox said:


> Which infj? Mbti or socionics ?


MBTI. I don't know anything about Socionics (yet). ^^;


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## Alana (Jun 21, 2019)

Carla Rose said:


> So I'm guessing dual relationships are the best ones, romantically speaking?  What types are an INFJ girl's duals?


Every type has one dual. Not sure what you mean by INFJ. EII or IEI? 

Dual Relationships: 
EII-LSE
IEI-SLE
IEE-SLI
EIE-LSI
LII-ESE
ILI-SEE
ESI-LIE
SEI-ILE


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## Carla Rose (Feb 28, 2013)

TABASCO said:


> Every type has one dual. Not sure what you mean by INFJ. EII or IEI?
> 
> Dual Relationships:
> EII-LSE
> ...


I didn't actually mean either one! I know nothing about Socionics and just stepped into this forum out of curiosity. Sorry >.< I should go up read on Socionics.


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## Schizoid (Jan 31, 2015)

Carla Rose said:


> So I'm guessing dual relationships are the best ones, romantically speaking?  What types are an INFJ girl's duals?


I just received 3 thanks from ya.. Thanks for the thanks. ;p 

Dual relationships are indeed the best ones for romantic relationships. Since you're myer briggs INFJ, this would make you socionics INFp/IEI, and your dual would be ESTp/SLE. Your dual would be someone who is very adventurous and down-to-earth and practical, he would be an extrovert and good with logic. He has strong survival instincts so he's quite good at accumulating money and he would be able to take care of you financially.
he will have a strong love of power so he tends to have very strong leadership qualities in him, he can also come across quite unpredictable at times, he is charismatic, assertive, strong-willed, and he will make the first move to pursue you and take the lead in relationships so you just have to sit back and let him take the lead and chase after you..  

Here are some descriptions of SLEs/ESTps:
https://www.sociotype.com/socionics/types/SLE-ESTp/
https://www.sociotype.com/socionics/types/SLE-ESTp/subtypes/

This celebrity below here is also an example of an SLE/ESTp. He would often let himself get bitten by wild animals and then he will show people how to treat those wounds. I find his videos very entertaining, haha.


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## Wisteria (Apr 2, 2015)

TABASCO said:


> Can Duality be somehow one-sided?
> So one of the people helping the other person but not vice-versa?


That is more true for the benefactor or supervision relationships. If one of the dual types is a completely selfish person though sure.


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## inmymind (Feb 15, 2016)

INFJ dual is ESTP.


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## nablur (Mar 9, 2017)

Schizoid said:


> Or could that couple be semi-duals instead? I find myself having these kind of "explosive" relationships with my semi-duals. They have the same dual effect on me, but at the same time, we also seemed to butt heads with each other quite a bit.
> One moment we will fight each other like enemies, and the next moment we became super close again. This is what generally happens when I get too close to a semi-dual. If I'm interacting with my semi-dual at a distance, we actually get along quite well with each other. It's only when we start closing the distance then the "moth-to-flame" effects started happening.
> With duals, things tend to be much calmer and less "explosive". There's totally no psychological gap with them at all. I can get really close to them without ending up in some fights with them. In fact, with duals, we rarely fight with each other, and even if we do, the disagreements doesn't last for long.
> 
> ...


i can relate. estp 8w9, so/sx here. i know a female enfj 2 so/?. explosive indeed. i notice her agitation increase as soon as we're in proximity.


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## HIX (Aug 20, 2018)

I think duality works only if both people are healthy but you could say that about all relationships


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## bremen (Apr 25, 2016)

I would say that instead of seeing it as something positive, ideal or happy, I would see it as greatest potential for growth because your dual should help you out with stuff you're lacking and vice versa and cover each other.



Schizoid said:


> And I think subtypes is quite important too when it comes to duality.
> 
> If duals have compatible subtypes, they would find each other interesting and they will be very drawn to each other and they will click with each other very well and get close to each other naturally.
> But if duals have incompatible subtypes, they would have a harder time moving past the acquaintance stage. The extrovert would write off the introvert as "dull and boring", while the introvert would find their extroverted counterpart "too good for them".


Where exactly does this come from? Do you have some link/info on this.


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## Schizoid (Jan 31, 2015)

ColdNobility said:


> Where exactly does this come from? Do you have some link/info on this.


I wrote that from my own experience actually, and also from observing the people around me. I realised that rational subtypes tend to click well with each other, and the same goes for irrational subtypes. I typed myself as IEI-Ni, and I noticed myself clicking much better with SLE-Se as compared to SLE-Ti. In fact, I tend to prefer SLE-Se over SLE-Ti, because the Se subtypes are more in tune with Fe and they tend to come across much more warm and feelerish as compared to the Ti subtypes.


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## PluckyDucky (Apr 17, 2019)

I met a dual recently. 
In life there can be lots of factors working against a relationship. Both people can have mental, physical and trust issues, as well as plenty of external negative factors. And often being a dual means having to understand yourself better in order to understand where the other person is coming from.

Sometimes the only positive part to the beginning of a relationship with a dual is having a sort of natural compatability. A sort of wierd knowing that its special and worth keeping.

I think duality can be a lifelong process, with lots of potential for healthy mutual respect. But its definitely not an easy journey, and it won't fix problems for each individual concerned. If anything the duality accentuates the flaws that obstruct things running smoothly, you feel inside the disharmony. People can be very motivated by their duals and I think its great that some people have this affinity with you that can change your perspective and give you the opportunity to change your life for the better.

My dual and I became close friends despite a myriad of issues. However we aren't talking to each other at the moment because our individual issues became too much. Duality is high stakes, and sometimes good intentions and repartee doesn't mean no growing pains. Both parties got hurt repeatadely. But we kept in contact and kept trying because its a special connection and worth keeping. We aren't talking now, but we will again when we are ready. 

Relationships can come in lots of shapes and sizes, and I think some type combinations are better suited for certain relationships. Duality is the "big" one in socionics. I think if both people involved are ready for the "big" one, willing to work for understanding and external factors aren't too bad, then it has potential to be the happiest and healthiest, albeit in its own way for each of the dual pairs.


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## Foxyfox (Oct 21, 2016)

I like your replies the most must be because you're my dual type lol. Yeah my relationship with my dual changed me forever. I dislike him so much now I am repulsed by his memory.. I don't think it was because he was just "unhealthy" I think he was more of a psychopath/ sociopath , but nevertheless his type was my "dual" and the relationship itself was extremely transformative.


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## DavidGH (Aug 10, 2019)

TABASCO said:


> Can Duality be somehow one-sided?
> So one of the people helping the other person but not vice-versa?


That’s slightly undiscussed and avoided in Socionics, so it’s outside the application of such. If you’re talking about in the real world? Well of course. That’s a basic premise of people. Each person has their own viewpoints, opinions, likes, life, etc. It would be slightly narcissistic to think otherwise or to try and rationalize away their viewpoints. You could in every fashion consider yourself one type and consider another your dual, but that has absolutely bearing on their own viewpoints about either of you.


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## Inveniet (Aug 21, 2009)

Duality has a lot of potential advantages, but there are many stumbling blocks even here.

Meeting ones dual can be a terrible experience, 
especially if the introvert is neurotic and the extrovert is hysteric.
Meaning that all sorts of complexes have to be triggered, just by the others presence.

Ideally duality would be just be a plug and play usb adapter.
Unfortunately if things are off, it can be almost impossible to get a connection.

Duality works best when both parties have a common goal,
since then they can fill in each others weaknesses.
People forget the fragmented nature of society and all the different sides one might fall down on.

Another factor is enneagram type and level of health.
An Sx/Sp and an So/Sp for example will only really agree on the practicals,
and cannot really understand the others burning desire for individual or group connection.
The rest of the enneagram is too complex to throw out valid balanced examples,
but if one person has a high level of health and the other has a low, there will obviously be a disconnect.
One in many ways will be on two different vibrational frequencies.
Without any necessary detours to anything supernatural.
It is enough to contrast a rich vs poor background.

Yet another issue is that even duals are unable to naturally respect quadra fear complexs.
So Alphas don't respect each others fear of being silenced.
Betas don't respect each others fear of being subservient.
Gammas don't respect each others fear of having ones hands tied.
Deltas don't respect each others fear of having ones wings clipped.
So in many such relations, if they are unlucky, one or both of the parties gets trapped by this complex.
Making their life a fearful living hell.

But if the stars align and nothing dumb happens, then it is a match made in heaven.
The difference with dual and the other relations, is that even if you solve all the above,
you still have issues, that cannot be solved easily.
With duality you at least have a shot when it comes to that point.


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