# What type is more likely to keep a grudge?



## starri (Jan 23, 2009)

*Disclaimer: Anyone is prone to grudges and it is truly not dependent on type.*

EDIT: Upon deeper thought; the question I meant to ask is *which function is responsible for holding the grudge?* The reason why the functions are all introverted is because the grudge is an introverted thing that is not disclosed of generally. Meaning that Fi applies for both ExFP and IxFP, and so on.


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## TreeBob (Oct 11, 2008)

Nyx Asteria said:


> *Disclaimer: Anyone is prone to grudges and it is truly not dependent on type.*


I am going to say INFP. They may be quiet and demure but they are doing some cold hard calculating in that head. Then a month down the road...POW!!


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## rswear (Apr 3, 2009)

TreeBob said:


> I am going to say INFP. They may be quiet and demure but they are doing some cold hard calculating in that head. Then a month down the road...POW!!


Oh Yeah!! Wait until next month and we will just see about that!

(evil laugh here)

:laughing:


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## TreeBob (Oct 11, 2008)

rswear said:


> Oh Yeah!! Wait until next month and we will just see about that!
> 
> (evil laugh here)
> 
> :laughing:



Please don't hurt me!! Good thing is, thanks to your warning I might have enough time to take self defence courses before you all explode on me :laughing:


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## εmptε (Nov 20, 2008)

*XSFJs**; With little to no Se, and lots of Si, and Tail end Ti. XSFJs are the perfect type for hating someone forever.

Next would be XNTPs (Same thing different order)

The function for which grudge is held would be Si.*


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## Sily (Oct 24, 2008)

TreeBob said:


> I am going to say INFP. They may be quiet and demure but they are doing some cold hard calculating in that head. Then a month down the road...POW!!


LOL.... this made me laugh, (but in a good way)

hehehe...


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## NephilimAzrael (Oct 26, 2008)

Interesting that you failed to include Extroverted types in your list.. Introverted functions being the keystone why?


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## starri (Jan 23, 2009)

Extroverted types will keep the grudge with their introverted function. The Extroverted function has a here and now feel to it.

At least that is what I was thinking of when I made the poll. Fi is both IxFP and ExFP


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## Happy (Oct 10, 2008)

F fsho! No contest.


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## εmptε (Nov 20, 2008)

Lance said:


> F fsho! No contest.


*You've never met an SJ have you? Those fuckers can hold grudges that are longer then the universe.*


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## matilda (May 21, 2009)

Wolfe said:


> *You've never met an SJ have you? Those fuckers can hold grudges that are longer then the universe.*


I agree. Fi here and I've never held a grudge. 

But then again, maybe that's just me.


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## thewindlistens (Mar 12, 2009)

Si, definitely. 

Though I don't see why so many people picked Ti. Holding a grudge is something I was never even capable of doing and my Ti is very strong.


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## εmptε (Nov 20, 2008)

*NTPs can be very grudgy. The problem is that it stems from our less **developed** Si and not from our well **developed Ti. Most people just look at the first two functions and type that way. All four of those functions play a part in the personality.
*


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## starri (Jan 23, 2009)

I'm now very afraid to hurt an ISTJ. >.> Si, Te, Fi, Ne


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## thewindlistens (Mar 12, 2009)

Wolfe said:


> *NTPs can be very grudgy. The problem is that it stems from our less **developed** Si and not from our well **developed Ti. Most people just look at the first two functions and type that way. All four of those functions play a part in the personality.
> *


Yeah, but that still doesn't explain why people picked Ti in the poll.


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## starri (Jan 23, 2009)

thewindlistens said:


> Yeah, but that still doesn't explain why people picked Ti in the poll.


Ye, Ti and Ni don't make any sense to be grudge holders.

Ti people dissect every emotion and my understanding is that they will be dissecting the grudge and just dumping that person causing it. They will solve the problem that is causing the grudge or they will find a logical way to explain it and move on.

Ni wouldn't hold on to that feeling either. It is a more futuristic oriented function (to the best of my understanding) and if they were angry using Ni, it would appear as brief moments of realizations and not a well kept chest of hatred.

Just my thoughts.


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## εmptε (Nov 20, 2008)

thewindlistens said:


> Yeah, but that still doesn't explain why people picked Ti in the poll.


*Nope, if you paid attention then I explained that most people don't look at the functions completely. I've known some INTPs to hold grudges for a long time. I had friends who thought it was a Ti thing. People don't study the functions so they automatically assume that the dominate two functions are the cause. *


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## thewindlistens (Mar 12, 2009)

Wolfe said:


> *Nope, if you paid attention then I explained that most people don't look at the functions completely. I've known some INTPs to hold grudges for a long time. I had friends who thought it was a Ti thing. People don't study the functions so they automatically assume that the dominate two functions are the cause. *


Oh, I paid attention well enough to have understood what you meant. You somehow forgot to take into accout that ESTP and ISTP are also strong Ti users and in their case the connection to Si doesn't really make sense.

But the poll was asking what function _specifically_ is the one that causes grudges that last a long time.

Or maybe you're right, I just usually assume that


Wolfe said:


> *most people*


aren't idiots.



Nyx Asteria said:


> Ti people dissect every emotion and my understanding is that they will be dissecting the grudge and just dumping that person causing it. They will solve the problem that is causing the grudge or they will find a logical way to explain it and move on.


Yes, that's right. That's how I experience it anyway - in almost every situation I figre out that it wasn't anything personal. Very few things get to me, simply by default. If it was personal - well, I have better things to do than waste my time on that. If they return one day without doing what I found offensive, I treat them like anyone else.

I can recall only one such instance in my life anyway, and most other people called that girl the largest psycho-bitch they ever knew. Well, I don't think many are deserving of that title, but she was. But as long as she didn't start to insult me in ways I knew were supposed to hurt me we got along just fine.


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## TreeBob (Oct 11, 2008)

thewindlistens said:


> Oh, I paid attention well enough to have understood what you meant. You somehow forgot to take into accout that ESTP and ISTP are also strong Ti users and in their case the connection to Si doesn't really make sense.


Yeah I don't hold grudges. roud:


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## εmptε (Nov 20, 2008)

thewindlistens said:


> Oh, I paid attention well enough to have understood what you meant. You somehow forgot to take into accout that ESTP and ISTP are also strong Ti users and in their case the connection to Si doesn't really make sense.
> 
> But the poll was asking what function _specifically_ is the one that causes grudges that last a long time.
> 
> ...


*An NT that doesn't think the general population is inhabited by morons. **Ah, you're one of those rare 'faith' NTs.

I've not really known ESTP/ISTP to hold grudges .... at all. Thus when you say Ti most idi.... I mean people, will assume you're talking about NTP grudges, and equate that to Ti when it's really just underdeveloped Si.
*


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## ImbecilicSage (Apr 29, 2009)

I guess Wolfe's got some pretty reasonable thoughts regarding looking at the functions wholly rather than just the dominant types, however I did the opposite anyway (that was before I'd actually read the posts of the thread). 

I consider myself pretty easily prone to holding grudges, and as a friend of mine told me he had an INTJ friend who was similar regarding that facet of things, and had figured it was an IN_J thing, I just figured it made sense to vote Ni... I was a little bit torn regarding Fi, just considering the nature of the function, but ultimately I didn't choose that. I wouldn't expect Ti to be the cause of grudges, because if anything that would be the function to render most grudges as not worthy of being grudges at all, and would likely eliminate any grudges if some existed. Maybe I just don't have a good enough understanding of Si, but I didn't consider it one way or another.

Again, I guess the full picture needs to be looked at better though, and the functions should only be analyzed regarding their own nature, not their correlated nature with specific types.


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## thewindlistens (Mar 12, 2009)

Wolfe said:


> *Thus when you say Ti most idi.... I mean people, will assume you're talking about NTP
> *


Yeah, that's why I called them idiots.


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## εmptε (Nov 20, 2008)

*NTJs hold grudges because of Te not Ni. Trust me... if there was Te on the list I'd have a harder time deciding if it was Si. *


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## ImbecilicSage (Apr 29, 2009)

Of all the extroverted functions wouldn't Fe be most responsible? It causes people to _feel_ quickly and irrationally, and whenever it'd be used when considering someone with previous hostility I would think it would arouse feelings of enmity once again...


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## εmptε (Nov 20, 2008)

*No, Fe picks up other peoples feelings. Meaning that if you're around someone angry you'll know they're angry, and if you're a Fe Dominate you'll probably be angry yourself, but right when you get around happy people you'll be happy.

=) Even though I'm T and a very High T (90%). I've noticed it happen every once in awhile for me.
*


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## starri (Jan 23, 2009)

ImbecilicSage said:


> Of all the extroverted functions wouldn't Fe be most responsible? It causes people to _feel_ quickly and irrationally, and whenever it'd be used when considering someone with previous hostility I would think it would arouse feelings of enmity once again...


I didn't include extroverted functions in the poll because they have a here and now feel about them. Fe is a judging function, true.



> Perceptive Functions
> 
> Extroverted Perception:
> Extroverted Sensing (abbreviated as Se) - Absorbs reality in a very active way, using the concrete senses. Commonly type-cast as being a thrill seeker.
> ...


So it will contribute to the user taking judgments against someone depending on emotions.

A grudge is different though;



> grudge (grj) n.
> A deep-seated feeling of resentment or rancor:


So you can say that an ESFJ (Fe, Si, Te, Ni) can hold a grudge, they would be using Fe for the initiation of the judgment to which they will hold the grudge, but keeping it will require their Si.

On that note, if we agree that one function is responsible for the holding of the grudge then an ESTJ (Te, Si, Ne, Fi) can also hold a grudge but would be initiated by a different chain of events than that of the ESFJ.

Using Si was just an example.


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## ImbecilicSage (Apr 29, 2009)

So all that we've ascertained is that there's no universal means for types to begin to hold a grudge? That should just be common knowledge though anyway...


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## Charlie (Jun 7, 2009)

I say SJ's.


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## Crystalview (Apr 26, 2009)

Maybe we can look at it from a different angle. I think grudge holding might be related to J types, based on the fact that they can be inflexible in thier judgement about others, while P types always leave things open-ended so there is room for reconciliation even after a long time has passed. 

So I'd go for the Si and Ni dominant types only because those are the Js.


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## Kysinor (Mar 19, 2009)

I'm prone to holding grudges. I'm not sensor dominant. Passive aggressiveness is my middle name and I can jump to conclusions quite easily. I don't get over certain things that easily.


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## Crystalview (Apr 26, 2009)

Kysinor said:


> I'm prone to holding grudges. I'm not sensor dominant. Passive aggressiveness is my middle name and I can jump to conclusions quite easily. I don't get over certain things that easily.


yeah exactly, I think all J types should be considered in this poll.


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## TreeBob (Oct 11, 2008)

Crystalview said:


> yeah exactly, I think all J types should be considered in this poll.



poor infp :frustrating: We still love you even if you do hold grudges.


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## WickedQueen (Jun 1, 2009)

I don't hold grudge.

I do not forgot, but I forgive.


.


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## Crystalview (Apr 26, 2009)

TreeBob said:


> poor infp :frustrating: We still love you even if you do hold grudges.


oh thanks TreeBob, but I might still hold a grudge, but since I'm a P I will change my mind after a while...


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## TreeBob (Oct 11, 2008)

Crystalview said:


> oh thanks TreeBob, but I might still hold a grudge, but since I'm a P I will change my mind after a while...


I love the Alpha Male dog, maybe he is a P too. :mellow:


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## Crystalview (Apr 26, 2009)

ok I've thought about this for a while and I have a proposed hypothesis.

Now, Ps perceptive functions are extroverted ( Ne or Se) meaning that they are continously going back and collecting data in order to refine their judgement. While Js have introverted perceptive functions (Ni or Si) so their judgement is usually final.

This doesnt mean that P can't develop a grudge. It just means J are more likely to struggle with changing their mind about a grudge they hold. 

but stil,l P's ability to leave things open-ended and go back and review their judgement can aslo be negative coz it can have the opposite effect of a grudge which is not knowing how you feel about someone or not being able to get rid of harmful people.


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## starri (Jan 23, 2009)

Crystalview said:


> ok I've thought about this for a while and I have a proposed hypothesis.
> 
> Now, Ps perceptive functions are extroverted ( Ne or Se) meaning that they are continously going back and collecting data in order to refine their judgement. While Js have introverted perceptive functions (Ni or Si) so their judgement is usually final.
> 
> ...


So it's like Js would be more likely to hold on to it, because they made up their mind and aren't easily swayed. Ps will either be distracted/think of possibilities and are left in twilight confusion zone.. going back n forth about it..

makes sense without looking into functions yet.


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## Lyonessian (Jun 16, 2009)

Well... as for type I'd answer INFJ, I tend to agree with a friend who said that INFJs sometimes perceive her as not following their morals/values and then BAM, she's evil. Can't say it's a general thing, of course.

But narrowing it down to function I have troubles seeing Ni as a grudge-holder... it would help more in crafting the revenge, but not actually keeping that inside, IMO. Ti, I just perceive as not finding anything worthy on the grudge in itself to hold it. I can't make up my mind on Si, but to me it's clearly above the two previous ones. Fi, however... yes, I vote Fi.


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## de l'eau salée (Nov 10, 2008)

When someone does something "grudge-worthy," I, in the moment, get really heated inside, but I don't really show it. I don't have the capability of staying mad at someone if they're truthfully and honestly nice afterwards, and it helps even moreso if they apologize. I'll most likely never forget what they did, but I try my best not to judge them from that past experience.


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## gwennylou (Jun 19, 2009)

I think every personality type has the ability to keep grudges. I know that some things I let roll off my back, but there are grudges I find myself holding on to 10 years after it happened. I think it really depends on the severity level of what happened and the ability to let it go. Some may me more inclined to hold on to grudges, but we all do it.


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## Riverlioness (Nov 25, 2011)

εmptε;75754 said:


> *NTJs hold grudges because of Te not Ni. Trust me... if there was Te on the list I'd have a harder time deciding if it was Si. *



I have a mental list:

People who suck
(insert names here)


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## Neon Knight (Aug 11, 2010)

Si for sure. My Fi _pales_ in comparison.


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