# Why are people telling me to stop losing weight?



## Destiny Dawn (Nov 13, 2012)

I've just posted another thread about another issue, but to reiterate I've lost 60 pounds since last September. I was around 210 lbs, and now I'm about 150. My goal is 135, another 15 pounds away. I'm 5'6''- according to my wrist (5.5'') I'm a small frame, but according to my elbow I'm a medium frame, so 135 is the upper limit of the small and the lower limit of the medium.Granted, I may stop at 140, taking into account the muscle I've gained.

All my friends back at college our supportive of me (they don't think I need to lose weight, but they also want me achieve my goals). At home, however, where I've been for the last month and a half, people (both family and friends), are literally telling me to stop losing weight. They say I'm too skinny, which while I might be biased I _know_ there is still excess fat on my body to be lost.

One side of this is that my grandmother, who has been pointing out I need to lose weight since elementary school, is now say I need to stop. One argument is that I'm losing my boobs ( btw, I pointed out to my aunt that my cousin, her daughter, is practically skin and bones, but she justified it by saying, "Yeah, but she has big boobs.'). So, apparently, having big boobs makes it okay to be scary skinny, but not having boobs make it unacceptable to be average? I only had "big" boobs before because the rest of my body was big. I'm not going to stay fat, just so I have big boobs.

And then there are my friends who want me to stop. One told me I should just focus on toning up now. Reasonable, but I pointed out that the only real way people "tone" is by losing the fat surrounding the muscle, letting it show through. I could have a six pack, but you can't tell by the layer of fat over it. I do want to focus on gaining muscle, but maybe not for another ten pounds. I've already gained a pretty decent amount of muscle (I even have biceps despite my lack of upper body strength).

So, what do I do? Do I just lie and say, "Yeah, I'm just focusing on maintaining my current weight?" It's hurtful and frustratiing that people are telling me to stop doing the one thing they always told me to do.


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## Red Panda (Aug 18, 2010)

Well, your BMI says you can still lose weight, but without a body fat % we can never be sure. You could go somewhere to measure your body composition to be sure. 
Your family probably have seen you change so fast that they are a bit scared you might be harming yourself. 
Generally, a healthy body weight loss is 10% in 6 months, if it's more than that then it causes problems to the body like hormonal imbalances etc. of course many obese people lose more than that if they completely change their habits, that's why it's considered a must to have a professional guide you through that process. Maybe your hypotension problem you mentioned in the other thread is related to that, since it seems that you've also crossed that limit.


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## Destiny Dawn (Nov 13, 2012)

Yeah, I was looking at the pages you posted, and feel that if it is low blood pressure, my bradycardia could have something to do with it. (My resting heart rate is 42 bpm. It was in the low sixties before I started working out, dropped to 49 bpm in November, 45 bpm over Spring Break, and is now at 42).


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## Scelerat (Oct 21, 2012)

It's one of those crazy things people do. For instance, nobody bitched at me about my diet when I was over 300 lbs, however since I've lost most of that weight, started working out, watching my food intake, my macros etc, everyone has an opinion. 

"Be careful so you don't strain yourself lifting weights" oh, so that's dangerous, but the slew of problems from being overweight were not? 

"It's not healthy to eat that much protein" oh, so that's bad for me, but washing down 2 plates of cookies with 3 cans of coca cola wasn't?


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## DiamondDays (Sep 4, 2012)

You need to ask yourself if you are doing this for yourself, or for other people? If the answer is for yourself then you need to stop listening. I guess you might try actually telling them to stop voicing their opinions but people being people they probably wont listen. So just tough it up and enjoy your new, fit, body!


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## niffer (Dec 28, 2011)

The reason that people say things like that is because they like hearing themselves talk and ordering others around.

I think you should speak your mind to everyone and tell them exactly what your thoughts are in response to the things they've been saying.

Or just don't talk to them about it and tell them your metabolism magically started getting faster when they notice changes lol. Your body is none of anyone's damn business anyway so IMO feel free to feed ppl bullshit if they can't accept that.


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## Takadox (Apr 5, 2013)

Scelerat said:


> It's one of those crazy things people do. For instance, nobody bitched at me about my diet when I was over 300 lbs, however since I've lost most of that weight, started working out, watching my food intake, my macros etc, everyone has an opinion.
> 
> "Be careful so you don't strain yourself lifting weights" oh, so that's dangerous, but the slew of problems from being overweight were not?
> 
> "It's not healthy to eat that much protein" oh, so that's bad for me, but washing down 2 plates of cookies with 3 cans of coca cola wasn't?


I think that is because people feel that it is inappropriate to tell someone that they are overweight, because they most likely know it, and you don't need to rub it in.(Not always true, but it is socially unacceptable most of the time).

On the other hand change attracts people to pay attention, so a little of both I would assume. IDK


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## LadyO.W.BernieBro (Sep 4, 2010)

My experience is that people really like having an opinion when you make physical changes to yourself.

A LOT...l've had people talk about me straightening my hair for the last 7 years, people still want to comment.

Alternatively; they are JELLUS of you.

This reminds of the episode of Roseanne where the entire family becomes distraught over her breast reduction l was like WAT LAWL:crazy:


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## Marie Claire (Aug 12, 2011)

I had the same experience you had with my family when I lost weight. My mother had been telling me my whole life that I was too fat and then when I lost the weight and was of average weight, she told me that I needed to gain weight, that I was too slim! I was confused, but later understood that people who are close to you don't really want you to change. It threatens their comfort zone. They might have to change too! No one should tell you that you need to lose or gain weight. It's up to you and your doctor to determine. Congratulations on getting healthy! Don't let others jeopardize your success.


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## Stelmaria (Sep 30, 2011)

It comes back to the question 'what is normal'? In Singapore, a BMI over 23 puts you into the 'moderate' risk class of developing heart/cardiovascular diseases. In Singapore, a BMI over 23 is far less common than it is in the West.

Anyway, 5'5", 135 pounds gives a BMI of between 21-22 which is ideal in my opinion.

I currently have a BMI of about 21 (I peaked out at about 26), when I tell people I lost 15kg, they're quite surprised, 'oh you were never overweight' etc. It is because our norms differ.


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## Scelerat (Oct 21, 2012)

Takadox said:


> I think that is because people feel that it is inappropriate to tell someone that they are overweight, because they most likely know it, and you don't need to rub it in.(Not always true, but it is socially unacceptable most of the time).
> 
> On the other hand change attracts people to pay attention, so a little of both I would assume. IDK


Yes and no, sometimes I think a "oh and I don't mean anything offensive by this, but you're fat as fuck" would have been helpful.


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## WolfStar (Aug 18, 2009)

Are they themselves overweight? If so, that'd be why. People don't like being lazy and watching others around them not be lazy. Makes 'em realize they're lazy, and who wants that?


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## birdsintrees (Aug 20, 2012)

Aside from the already mentioned health risks you are taking by losing this much weight in a relatively short time; you should focus on a healthy number on the scales. With that you should realise that if your weight loss program includes exercise, you might need to focus less on the number instead of what's in the mirror in front of you due to muscle tissue build up.

The sad news about weight loss is that it does affect all those areas where you don't necessarily want to lose it first. Nothing you can do about that and since when are big boobs preferable over being healthy. What you -can- do is do specific chest exercises to tone your upper body and firm things up there. 

Easier said than done but when it comes to your body weight and shape: your opinion is the only one that matters unless you dangerously skinny, dangerously obese or maintaining dangerous food habits. And even then: seek advice from a personal trainer, a qualified nutritionist or a doctor. They are the only ones that can give you proper insight. 

Either way: Good on ya for changing habits


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## Fleetfoot (May 9, 2011)

Ignore them. Do what you think is right for your body. In fact, I'm the same height. 150 lbs. Trying to weigh 135 as well. I was at 160, but I've been really working on toning up more than losing weight, and letting the excess fat fall off while I tone and eat healthy. 

I listen to certain friends because we're practical and aren't trying to sabotage each other. That's why we're friends. We'll state our goals, assess them, and help each other stick to it until the end. 

I'm also assuming that you live in the States, and the standards are completely different for weight. We've up-sized everything, even ourselves. 

Most people think they're experts on diets and exercise and losing weight. Most of them aren't. Bodies are so different, they have different needs, ah I could go on forever, but then again I'm no expert. I do what I know I should do for my body, and you should figure out what works best with yours.


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## Erbse (Oct 15, 2010)

I'm quite confused by all the pseudo-jelly cards being played here.

As far as BMI is concerned however, it is quite a silly notion to abide by. If it fits, it fits. There are statures out there that require some sort of minimum mass in order to not look completely ridiculous - same applies in reversal, of course.

Make the proportion match, but no scale will ever be accurate enough as to what looks in fact proportionate as weight does not necessarily equal mass or proper distribution of said.


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## Sovereign (Aug 19, 2011)

Do exactly as YOU think is appropriate, and have a winning one-liner.

"I have consulted with my doctor, and we have determined that X is my optimal weight."

Whether or not a physician is involved is irrelevant. Unless you're legitimately experiencing observable health problems, they should keep their nose out of your business, says me.


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