# Do you like small talk?



## OP (Oct 22, 2016)

It _seems_ that most people do it out of politeness. I'm sure there are people who genuinely enjoy it though.


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## kirsten.j (Jul 12, 2016)

It totally depends on the person. If I really like somebody, I don't mind talking about nothing... Just having any conversation at all is nice, because it breaks the ice and helps pave the way for a deeper relationship.

But, if I don't like the person, or just feel neutral about them... Then it's a pain.


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## He's a Superhero! (May 1, 2013)

It's great for helping me with learning Chinese, but in English I guess I'd rather skip the small talk.


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## Reyzadren (Oct 5, 2014)

I only do small talk whenever I decide I want to, both initiate or participate. I must not be forced or coerced into it.


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## Clueing For Looks (Dec 3, 2016)

I hate it, but if someone else initiates it I'll participate to not come across as rude.


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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)

Well, I think most conversations are this.

It's funny, I've noticed a lot of people here say that like, talking about movies or music is "small talk" but I love talking about stuff like that. 

I don't have much patience for it though, I find it pretty boring.

What is small talk though? you're supposed to talk about "what you do" all the time, but honestly I've just never been good at this, it doesn't feel natural to just "do" things, and I don't get energized or have lots of energy for going out and experiencing things all the time so most people think I'm boring. That and I noticed 'drama' is a host of many conversations, or gossip, which I also don't really have patience for.

"THIS IS HOW I FIT INTO THE NORM. I AM NORMAL" "THIS IS WHAT I DID ON THE WEEKEND. I SPENT LOTS OF MONEY "DOING" THINGS" 

I don't mind listening to people talk about their lives sometimes though, well sort of. Oddly enough, I can't really handle people talking about hard technical/mechanic things; which is what I am experienced around a lot of other guys. Or like you know, smell my hand kind of thing. Gross. Sex&Beer, yeah!


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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)

If a person seems genuinely nice though, which I feel is sometimes rare to come across, I will try to listen to them more to be nice if I don't enjoy what they're talking about.


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## Ajaz (Sep 8, 2016)

No. But then again I am socially inept.

I can't see why anyone would be interested in knowing what I got up to over the weekend. And I guess I'm generally not interested in knowing what they did either. Unless they're someone I care about/I'm close to, but in that case I don't think it would be small talk... at least not the awkward/forced type. 

I don't know... small talk feels fake and meaningless to me. Most of the time the people engaging in it don't seem to actually care all that much.


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## Lombardy poplar (Sep 15, 2016)

Hate it.


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## DOGSOUP (Jan 29, 2016)

Oh yeah what is small talk even? People always complain about not having "deep" enough conversations, since so many _ordinary_ people just_ love _pointless chit-chat.

Pop-culture and current affairs are pretty good topics. You can almost assume everyone has _something_ to say about those, as long as it's kept on a very general level. Weather must be the most neutral, but it's understandably discussed _a lot_ around here.

Apparently you're not supposed to talk about four topics: religion, politics, sex and money. Which is a shame because it might be highly interesting and revealing. Though. If these are the one's you're not supposed to mention/acknowledge during small talk, do they automatically qualify as "deep", "larger than life" topics?


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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)

I think you can only really either make small talk in a sense that you are expected to talk about what you spend your time consuming, but this is the problem, there is an unspoken rule in that you must abide by this and adequately consume enough. So even if you are not out right suppose to talk about money, it's still usually comes into play in some way. 


But I think what you do, but mostly consume and everything, and then what your hobbies are. 

Sorry, I guess this is insulting to a lot of people? when I was younger I wanted to talk about philosophy, or how I saw the world, and I wanted to always have a fair or good reason as to why I should do something. I spent years lagging behind socially and couldn't seem to figure out how to talk to people. It took even eavesdropping to really gain a better understanding as to what the "proper" way of communicating is.

I don't know why, but my thoughts always went in that direction, but often the reactions was shunning. 

Beyond that I think, there's often a lot of "sizing up" that goes along with socializing as well, wherein you are supposed to prove that you are somehow an accomplished enough person. I guess that's why must people would rather make small talk and it can be so hard to connect.


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## atamagasuita (May 15, 2016)

I don't like it. Lol it's so boring 

Sent from my E5823 using Tapatalk


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## Peppermint Mocha (Jun 19, 2011)

Work-wise: I don't mind (as long as its a customer) as it makes my job a lil easier

On a personal level: It depends on the person. If I like you then sure, otherwise grant me some space as I need to recharge in peace & quiet


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## StaticPulse (Nov 9, 2016)

ShadowsRunner said:


> I think you can only really either make small talk in a sense that you are expected to talk about what you spend your time consuming, but this is the problem, there is an unspoken rule in that you must abide by this and adequately consume enough. So even if you are not out right suppose to talk about money, it's still usually comes into play in some way.
> 
> 
> But I think what you do, but mostly consume and everything, and then what your hobbies are.
> ...


Whaaaa'? Why does doing stuff mean spending money? Where did you get the idea that doing stuff has to cost money?


Forgot to add, I hate small talk. I participate and initiate only to the degree necessary to grease the wheels. But if there's nothing interesting to talk about, I'll use that same small talk to politely find my way back out of the exchange.


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## JAH (Jun 20, 2016)

Usually yes, I often forget time and end up chatting way to long with people. The only thing I categorically don't do is gossiping.


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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)

StaticPulse said:


> Whaaaa'? Why does doing stuff mean spending money? Where did you get the idea that doing stuff has to cost money?
> 
> 
> Forgot to add, I hate small talk. I participate and initiate only to the degree necessary to grease the wheels. But if there's nothing interesting to talk about, I'll use that same small talk to politely find my way back out of the exchange.


Well, it was just an observation that isn't always the rule but often times can be I think.

It totally is like some game, you have to spend your life chasing the cheese like everyone else or you're viewed as strange or a wasteoid.


Well I mean I guess it's hard not to though, but I mean I went through many periods in the past where the priority of my life wasn't really money and I ha a difficult time finding contentment in that.


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## ninjahitsawall (Feb 1, 2013)

ShadowsRunner said:


> Well, I think most conversations are this.
> 
> It's funny, I've noticed a lot of people here say that like, talking about movies or music is "small talk" but I love talking about stuff like that.
> 
> ...


Yeah I can relate to a lot of this. I avoid drama & gossip, I don't get energized by "experiencing things", people think I'm boring, etc. 

I like to talk about movies or music but I don't consider it small talk.. I mean, I read and watch recaps/reviews of movies, TV shows, and album releases, and interviews w/ musicians...and I tend to analyze them in a similar way, if I can find someone else who's as interested as I am in doing that lol. (I recommend AfterBuzz TV episodes for TV.. they run for whatever the length of the show is  )

I think of small talk as superficially glazing over a topic just for the sake of "making conversation" because it's deemed polite. Which I disagree with because sometimes I find it more intrusive than polite. I don't like to superficially glaze over things, because anything worth talking about is too complex to gloss over, and anything that is too simple is not worth talking about in the first place... guess I'm kinda black and white like that.




DOGSOUP said:


> Oh yeah what is small talk even? People always complain about not having "deep" enough conversations, since so many _ordinary_ people just_ love _pointless chit-chat.
> 
> Pop-culture and current affairs are pretty good topics. You can almost assume everyone has _something_ to say about those, as long as it's kept on a very general level. Weather must be the most neutral, but it's understandably discussed _a lot_ around here.
> 
> Apparently you're not supposed to talk about four topics: religion, politics, sex and money. Which is a shame because it might be highly interesting and revealing. Though. If these are the one's you're not supposed to mention/acknowledge during small talk, do they automatically qualify as "deep", "larger than life" topics?


Haha, my mom always said that my grandfather used to say sports, politics and religion. 

It does seem like sometimes the deeper something goes, the more awkward/inappropriate it becomes to bring it up, doesn't it?

I've heard that there's a fat tome of a book that is called Philosophy of Money, or something like that.


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## Tridentus (Dec 14, 2009)

It depends on my mood, and also the more I do it the more I enjoy it. I'm assuming "small talk" means a conversation where you pretty much know that it's not going to go any further btw.

Depends on circumstances as well. I remember when I was part-timing in a shop I would small talk frequently- when you're constantly speaking to people over a period of hours you tend to get better and more natural at it. Ironically when I stay in hostels traveling I tend to do it _less _because you either communicate with people to form bonds for your stay, or you don't, and the grey area where small talk would otherwise exist is very very slim.


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## lavendersnow (Jan 13, 2016)

Despise it. Only do it to make others comfortable or allow others to bring it up first, which is more often.


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## ShadowsRunner (Apr 24, 2013)

ninjahitsawall said:


> Yeah I can relate to a lot of this. I avoid drama & gossip, I don't get energized by "experiencing things", people think I'm boring, etc.
> 
> I like to talk about movies or music but I don't consider it small talk.. I mean, I read and watch recaps/reviews of movies, TV shows, and album releases, and interviews w/ musicians...and I tend to analyze them in a similar way, if I can find someone else who's as interested as I am in doing that lol. (I recommend AfterBuzz TV episodes for TV.. they run for whatever the length of the show is  )
> 
> ...


Yes! I am the same way!

Honestly though it made me feel really flawed because there was hardly anyone else that I knew, especially growing up for the life of me, all mostly talked about gossip, drama, or just random things that they "did" or kind of trite and pointless things like how successful/better they are then everyone else.

Another thing too is like, growing up I never realized it but it was like I was an old man and I almost got along better with people in their 30s and up while I was a teenager and it was like everyone my age had freaking ADHD; and they'd always talk about "doing" things, and how you have to "do" things, and how you're not "doing" things, or enough "things" but not what those things "are" and then that you don't "get it" 

So it's like, you're just supposed to run around, doing random things and then talking about said random things that happen, drinking all the time and desperately trying or hoping to come into money and throw whatever money you have a way. It's not that I am trying to be rude, but like man, I just wish I could have found more people like that growing up instead of feeling so isolated and out there. Even in my 20s, I don't think it's changed much, it's just become more anal retentive, serious, repressive and all about chasing the all mighty cheese, having empty hollow relationships, and showing off how much money you have (or don't through debt)


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