# Being Rude at Work and Feeling Bad About it



## Hollow Man (Aug 12, 2011)

Greetings! I thought I'd try writing my first blog on here tonight because there's in between time here at work. Too much in between time...

Yesterday I was something that I never want to be to a person...not only a person but a customer! I was curt and rude to a person who didn't do anything against me. The number 1 thing not to do when you are in retail or sales! Plus, as an ESFJ, I dislike it to no end...to be seen or to be mean to anyone....more importantly it bothers me at that level! I was wondering what the heck brought me to that level of being rude. How did the situation go? You are wondering....here it goes:

_I am stocking tomato containers and wondering where to put everything...all of my focus is totally on this, and I am even speaking to myself in my mind...asking where to put these extra tomatos that will fit on the shelf...a problem._

Customer: "Hey! Are you going to replenish the celery here? Do you have any?"

Me: "Not on me."

_I could feel that my response was curt as I said it, and I felt the man's reaction was not too happy with what I had said. Instantly I felt regret not grabbing the celery earlier...I knew it was running out! _

Customer: "These ones here are looking bad."

Me:"I can get some for you in the back."

Customer: "Could you?"

Then I did I actually get it for him, and he did thank me. Yet, I felt like I had made a mistake...not serving the customer right away! Not noticing him while I was in my inner world focusing on something else...because after all, customers are one of the reasons I even have a job (tho, the job isn't the best, it does add purpose to life).

On reflection, I was thinking it sucks having a job where you have to focus on things with people around who can and disrupt this attention (they should disturb me to get what they want, I think! ..it's just difficult for me personally...as a J, or even just because the human mind can only focus on so much at once. It's a challenge for sure...I am not saying I want to quit (tho, I do kind of)...

That's all I've got for now...what do you all think of this?


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## deadgirlrunning (Feb 14, 2011)

I think you should stop being so hard on yourself! Not to sound rude or unfeeling, but its just a retail job. I think customers expect a bit of "attitude" from employees (I certainly do.) You weren't rude - you got him his celery!


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## goldentryst (May 17, 2011)

Meh we all have our good days and our bad days. Though yes, in such an environment the customers DO come first regardless of whatever youre doing. I deal with that unspoken law while working in a shop at the mall. But it is important to near always be helpful and friendly to the customers, because you never know how they'll interpret your 'lack' of enthusiasm to assist and also customer service is highly important in maintaining the loyalty of returning customers. I say that because I do know people who can get put off by what they assume to be lack of customer care in shops amd overall service and just opt to shop for their needs at a different store. They choose where to spend their money; we work for the stores we are in and as such we must be sincere and always willing to assist patrons (since that is part of what we are getting paid for). 
But yeah, at least where I work the importance of catering to the consumer's needs is emphasized highly.


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## Hollow Man (Aug 12, 2011)

Yeah, I over-react a bit too much sometimes(too much super-ego/inner-critic, etc.), yet at the same time it's important personally to do good at my job (even if it's not a good one). It's important to make the most of what you got! I just notice I get grumpy with people with the ask for attention while I am doing something else...it's like they're pulling me from another world...if I am _really_ working on something....or thinking. Though, without a doubt, I get the most pleasure helping people out directly...


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## Digger Blue (Dec 1, 2010)

I'm thinking you are over critical and over reacting. Wish I had you as an employee. As an ESFP, my inner mischief maker is wanting to put a dead mouse in the bunch of celery and wish him a nice day! Not that I would have done it. Some times it just has to be the thought that counts!
Digger Blue


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## Hollow Man (Aug 12, 2011)

Yeah, my bosses do like me a lot...and honestly I am not even close to being the most efficient and quick worker, they just see that I care a lot. It's kind of weird how that works sometimes...I make mistakes often, but I don't complain much like my co-workers do or talk a lot to others...and that makes quite a difference in people's opinions of yr work.


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## Digger Blue (Dec 1, 2010)

I'm not very good, but it's okay, because I'm slow, too. 
DB


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## Hollow Man (Aug 12, 2011)

You're probably a good boss tho! It may be easier for you to connect with the employees as an extrovert....that helps a lot. I think my faves are extroverts who are reassuring and are funny and open.


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## Digger Blue (Dec 1, 2010)

The above was typical of my attempts at humor. I worked like the Dickens as an ESFP in an INTJ playground, an engineering research facility. I eventually decided to retire rather than take more abuse. The favorite thing in an INTJ boss is to make his employees conform to his model employee, which is, of course, himself. As an ESFP, I found my self being micromanaged to the point where I was trying to do the job his way. I'd take my task list and run through it and get everything started that needed somebody else working on it, then I'd start in on what was critical for me to accomplish. He'd come in and ding me because I hadn't started the critical item (even though I was getting many other items rolling). I'm now looking at being self employed, but I want to enjoy the job. Not sure just how to do it yet, but I got my eyes open. 
Digger Blue


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## Hollow Man (Aug 12, 2011)

Haha...yeah..I didn't get it... : ) Sounds like a fun playground. :X I couldn't picture myself in any environment with engineering or research in the title. Self-employment could be a good direction...It probably sux to be told what to do from a J. 

The task list is my worst enemy at this retail job! I hate it with all my soul because I simply am NEVER able to get it all done with the limited part-time shift I've got. It pisses me off because I like to do a thorough good job, not a crappy rushed job on everything. I feel inadequent after work, but I am slowly learning that they are expecting too much anyways. It's taxes on my self-worth tho at the end of the day. It makes everything in my life feel bad if I do bad at work....this is turning into an illogical rant.  It's not rare where I want to quit on the spot when I feel so low. I've been telling them tactfully that their expectations are too much lately too...


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## Digger Blue (Dec 1, 2010)

Consider some of this: make a move laterally can be good if it puts you in a job that is a better fit, or gives you better opportunity. 
Work as much as possible to have a good relationship with your supervisor and your manager. Try to understand what their needs are and what they are trying to carry out that may be a mission coming from higher up. 
Always spend a bit of time cleaning up as it shows. Pick up the odd nail or screw as sooner or later someone will ask you what you just picked up. You can tell them that you were concerned that someone would fall on it. That is a small, but automatic homerun, as every bosses nightmare is being sued. 
Good luck. 
digger blue


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## Hollow Man (Aug 12, 2011)

LOL....so true about the the possibility of being sued. That could cost a lot! Or injuring yrself on the job.... :X


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