# Meaningless sex



## noosabar (Mar 14, 2010)

INTP male.

This is directed at the NT males. Though females are welcome to comment.

My mates are giving me a hard time about not just getting out there and snogging some random girl because I havn't been with a female for nearly a year.
I have been in a relationship of some form or other for 13years prior to this period.
I am just not motivated by the concept, and I think meaningless sex is just that, empty and meaningless.
I have female friends who I know would be open to an advance or a random pash and dash, they are howerver my friends and I dont veiw them in a sexual way.
The hardest part about celibacy is the frustation surrounding the ongoing pressure to indulge by my mates.
Im starting to feel as though there is something wrong with me, that Im not a normal male thanks to the heckling.
I am exhausted by the idea of being with someone.
Is this typical for you guys, or am I a weirdo????


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## noosabar (Mar 14, 2010)

noosabar said:


> INTP male.
> 
> This is directed at the NT males. Though females are welcome to comment.
> 
> ...


Idlike to add that I dont't have a libido problem, when I am in an intimate relationship my sex drive is insatable, to add more, sex is on my mind every day. Its just got to be special and wanted.
Nothing a good wank cant fix.:tongue:


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## Immemorial (May 16, 2010)

It's typical for me. I see it as fucking pointless.

I hold sex a little higher than a provision of physical pleasure, I could never have it with someone I didn't connect with. I don't understand people who can have it and walk away still feeling good about themselves.

Props to you for not giving into pressure.


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## INFJGirlie (Jun 12, 2010)

I have a very high drive when I am in a relationship but I must have feelings for them and trust them.


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## Hermes (Aug 9, 2010)

Ah thank god I'm not the only one like this, it's bloody annoying having friends who keep on pressuring you to though. :frustrating:


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## Filo (Aug 11, 2010)

Outside of a relationship, it's just not worth the effort.


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## fairydust (Nov 26, 2009)

If we really understood brain chemistry of sex and how it is designed to chemically "bond" one person to another we would be very leary of meaningless sex. Meanlingless sex changes the brain, and in my opinion changes it for the worse... risking a later sexual relationship where one wants bonding and attachment and have difficulty achieving that...

what a joy to read posts where people hold sex in high regard... and not buy in to the lies that socieity and media tell us...


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

Thankfully, people I know seem to be rather laid-back and doesn't pressure each other and myself into having meaningless sex.


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## Filo (Aug 11, 2010)

> what a joy to read posts where people hold sex in high regard... and not buy in to the lies that socieity and media tell us...


It's mostly laziness, really.


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

Filo said:


> It's mostly laziness, really.


For some people, yes, but not everyone who doesn't care about what society thinks.


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## Filo (Aug 11, 2010)

> For some people, yes, but not everyone who doesn't care about what society thinks.


I don't know about that. In the people I know, randomly sleeping around is not considered a virtue, not even for men. I have never chided someone for not sleeping around. I have made some comments on people who do not even consider relationships. Perhaps that's not entirely fair either.


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## Molock (Mar 10, 2010)

The concept does not appeal to me. At all. I'd rather wank than sleep with some random girl... no matter how attractive she is.


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## Psychosmurf (Aug 22, 2010)

By looking at the other responses and from my experience, you are actually quite typical. 

Also, think about this: Will you decide to listen to your own ideas and feelings or the heckling of others? :mellow:


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## noosabar (Mar 14, 2010)

Psychosmurf said:


> By looking at the other responses and from my experience, you are actually quite typical.
> 
> Also, think about this: Will you decide to listen to your own ideas and feelings or the heckling of others? :mellow:


Listening to my own ideas and feelings has generated the heckling.
Maybe they are not comfy with my situation.


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## Aleksei (Apr 3, 2010)

noosabar said:


> INTP male.
> 
> This is directed at the NT males. Though females are welcome to comment.
> 
> ...


I think that's an INxx thing overall -- though INFJs have a tendency to be closet freaks.


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## Dionysus (Jun 8, 2010)

devils advocate cometh. I'm very able to compartmentalize things. I have limited interest in going out and trying to "hit on hot chicks bro" but I have a high drive for ladies of the finer sex. 

if i may, i would also get on my buddy if he is not putting himself out there in the singles scene following a relationship. i bet you are just used to the rapport with the old relationship. i've been in this trap myself. i got out by being in a single mind, but also not settling for rubbish.

quality over quantity


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## Apollo Celestio (Mar 10, 2010)

My question: "Is it logical?"


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

noosabar said:


> INTP male.
> 
> This is directed at the NT males. Though females are welcome to comment.
> 
> ...


If you don't want to fuck, then don't fuck. After 13 years with one woman, it may indeed be very hard for you to just go and have sex with another woman.


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## blackandindie (Nov 30, 2009)

Yeah, I can't really bring myself to having meaningless sex ever again, it happened once, and I feel guilty about it. It won't happen again. The frustration of trying to find the right person vs. my insatiable need to have sex is quite a battle. I'll wait for the right girl because I yearn for the closeness and the connection.. however, my physiology is definitely not happy about it.


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## Trainwreck (Sep 14, 2010)

Considering that we all die wouldn't that make all sex meaningless?

But as for some advice: I've been through some long dry spells, and the guy friends will try and bring you down over it. It's just the nature of the beast though. I found out long ago that waking up still drunk and going to breakfast with someone who I have nothing in common with when not hammered and find to be vapid and not worth my time begins to make me feel like I'm not right with my principles, like I'm using people. To me, being a good man has been about doing what I know to be right no matter what, staying right with my principles. I'd just tell you're mates to F off and not be concerned with where you decide to put your, you know. Being a good man doesn't have anything to do with women.


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