# Working in a job that I hate and can't switch to another



## noname42 (Mar 8, 2013)

Hey guys,

I'm currently working in a job that I really hate for over a year now and can't move on, as if I'm stuck. It have a relatively good pay, close to home but I hate it. I have problems with my boss, I'm not really proficient in it, and there almost no work life balance and I'm not learning anything new.

I've applied to numerous places and got tons of interviews but I wasn't accepted in any. Even if I did well and was qualified, I never have an offer.

For my point of view there are two main reasons:
-Maybe they sense that I'm not really interested and just want to leave and try something new (most of the jobs I apply in, I'm really not interested in)
-There is a reference issue

So what do you guys think is the problem ?


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## SilverFalcon (Dec 18, 2014)

Well, do not run randomly from something, find something to run to.
Pick something, take it seriously and improve in that. The succeed in that. Prove that you want to do it.
No one wants employee that just runs away from things.


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## PowerShell (Feb 3, 2013)

What field are you in? If anything make a long term plan and possibly move. That's what I did. I quit my job when my lease was up, moved across the country to Austin, and then found a new job quickly. It also depends on what you're doing. I work in IT so my skills are highly in demand. I did, however, make these plans about 6-8 months in advance so I had everything in a row when I came down.


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## IIIIII (Oct 2, 2013)

Article courtesy of Beliefnet, I figured it might help

Last summer, my cousins and I went paintballing. While gearing up, I talked to a guy named Nipon. Nipon worked at the arena. He passed me my gun and told me that life is a game and for a while he seemed to be winning.
When he was 8, Nipon wanted a cricket bat. He got a job delivering newspapers and within a year he had the money. When he was 12, he wanted to beat his friends on the math test. He studied. He aced it.

At 17, he wanted success. He enrolled in an engineering program. By 21, he was working for a tech company and earning more than his parents’ friends. He was wearing better clothes, eating expensive food. His house was huge.
This time, he wasn’t sure if he had gotten what he wanted.

His job was paying for a lavish life, but he was at a computer for 70 hours a week. When he got home, he was too tired to do anything but sleep. He missed the sun. He told his friends he was thinking of quitting. They told him not to be ridiculous.
Nipon stayed at his job. It made him miserable. Thinking as an engineer, he realized his life had entered a positive feedback loop. The more misery he put in, the more miserable he became. More and more. And it wasn’t going to slow down any time soon.

There was no choice. He had to go.

Today, he’s 35 and making a fraction of what he used to. He works at a paintball arena because he loves games. He’s one of the happiest guys I’ve met. He had a life full of negativity and he ended it. He started a new life. He responded to his situation by doing.

Respond by doing.
I don’t usually get life lessons when I go paintballing. But this one I’ll remember. Rather than throwing tears and angry words at the issue, he approached the problem head on.
He quit.When ending something that’s a constant in daily life, there comes the daunting task of starting anew.In Nipon’s case, the feeling of being a beginner again was liberating. He traveled the world, met new people and started really living. During this period, he regained a connection with his inner child and his love for games. He fell in love with paintball and opened a paintball business and started a team in India – his home country.

At 35, he’s achieved what he wanted 18 years ago. He is successful – he’s happy. There’s no need to succumb to negativity. Actions and words will be criticized. There’s no changing that. Everyone’s a critic, but you don’t have to be. Respond to criticism and negativity with positivity. Respond by doing.There may be a culture of negativity and we may be negative beings by nature, but the human spirit is larger than that. We’re beings capable of responding with action to words. You have the courage, you just need to act on it.

Take a leap of faith and be happy you did


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## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

I'm catching IIIIII's drift. Sounds like the real problem is you aren't really setting yourself up for longterm happiness. 

An idea - figure out what you'd like to do more. Not necessarily forever, but more than what you're currently doing. Something closer to what you would like. Something that's reasonably within reach, and something that has job openings nearby.

Go volunteer in it for a little bit. Pull a few evenings or a half day on the weekends. You'll get exposure to the environment to ensure you really like it, you'll gain experience to tell interviewers about, and you'll gain proof that you care about it enough to work it for the joy of it.


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## S33K3RZ (Oct 18, 2014)

noname42 said:


> Hey guys,
> 
> I'm currently working in a job that I really hate for over a year now and can't move on, as if I'm stuck. It have a relatively good pay, close to home but I hate it. * I have problems with my boss, I'm not really proficient in it, and there almost no work life balance and I'm not learning anything new.*
> 
> ...


I am here to help; please be honest as I am not encouraging self attack, but being an INTP I recommend looking inward first; 

Why aren't you proficient in it? What are you lacking to be proficient in it?
This is independent of the type of job you have. Why are you not on great terms with your boss? 
Why have you not developed a work life balance? 
Why do you not choose to learn anything new? Is there no training program? Why are you not independently learning new things?


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## AriesLilith (Jan 6, 2013)

Do you not like your current job (tasks, interactions with team and boss, and so on), or the type of job altogether? For example, I'ma programmer and my productivity and enjoyment of the job is related to how much I enjoy the current tasks, responsibility and team/manager. I would run from jobs where there are no work life balance, but still enjoy programming.

As for your interviews... does your field have a high demand without much professionals to fill in available positions, or vice versa? How do you see yourself compared to other professionals of the same field? Do the companies you apply for have many job vaccancies or many professionals competing their way into it?

Why is referral an issue?

Also, HR professionals can make it feels as if the interview went well (many are so friendly), but it might not have gone well. You need to figure out what you might be missing or not answering well. Perhaps you can post the questions they are usually making and what answers you usually give. Try to describe a few interviews you had.

Also, there is a thread here called 10 reasons why you're not getting hired or something like this, which can help.


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## noname42 (Mar 8, 2013)

> Why aren't you proficient in it? What are you lacking to be proficient in it?
> This is independent of the type of job you have. Why are you not on great terms with your boss?
> Why have you not developed a work life balance?
> Why do you not choose to learn anything new? Is there no training program? Why are you not independently learning new things?


1. The job is terribly boring and constrained limited to a very few tasks. Repetitive and there is nothing new in it. Attention to extreme a details is a must, something I really don't give attention too. 

2.The place that I work in also sucks, too much politics and a psychopath boss. In addition, I will be honest here we are very different. I'm in relatively in good terms with him but we don't click. I can't blame him for everything but he is very manipulative and emotionally unstable. 

3.Basic answer: Too much stress, and very long working hours 8-5 (official) not to mention staying overtime. I have many obligations outside work and responsibilities, plus there is a lot of things that I want to do like exercising, mediating and reading, but I just can't find the time have the time to do so. I've read Getting things done and I become much more efficient but the pressure, stress and exhaustion still there. My life became very fast paced.

4.I really don't know what I exactly want to do, plus I don't have a lot of time. But Independent studies is one of my goals this year



I'm an economics major and unfortunately the labor market doesn't need alot of economists, they prefer accountant and financne majors instated. That said, I rally hate finance,accounting, and sales, the most jobs needed. I'm working in a bank as a business analyst and I really hate it. 

I think INTPs find it very difficult to find their passion. I believe I may be good in programming, or anything that is more broad and intangible. 

I'm currently making a plan to resign after 6 month. During this time I will lose weight, save some money, search for jobs that I think I may like, search for a master program. I thinking if I stayed more than 6 month in this job the damage will be permanent.

I've officially graduated two years ago and its been simply hell. I really hope things get much better


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## SilverFalcon (Dec 18, 2014)

This might sound naive as I do not know what kind of experience you get doing business analyst in bank, but haven't you think about doing your own business?


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## noname42 (Mar 8, 2013)

SilverFalcon said:


> This might sound naive as I do not know what kind of experience you get doing business analyst in bank, but haven't you think about doing your own business?


That my end result goal, but still Im too young.I have graduated exactly 2 years ago. 

I don't have the experience nor the money to do so. I would like to build an app or something but I lack the skill to do so.

I think what I need to do, is get a simple job with low working hours, so I can discover myself and grow.


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## SilverFalcon (Dec 18, 2014)

noname42 said:


> I think what I need to do, is get a simple job with low working hours, so I can discover myself and grow.


From my experience go for some challenge worth doing on full drive. You will gain more skill and experience this way and the right working habits. Take something that furthers your skills you want to use in long-term.


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## Fleetfoot (May 9, 2011)

noname42 said:


> That my end result goal, but still Im too young.I have graduated exactly 2 years ago.
> 
> I don't have the experience nor the money to do so. I would like to build an app or something but I lack the skill to do so.
> 
> I think what I need to do, is get a simple job with low working hours, so I can discover myself and grow.


That isn't going to cut it. Personally I'm in a simple job and all I have discovered is how miserable I am day after day.

Don't be me, please.

Instead, I suggest working on teaching yourself app programming (it's different for both Android and iPhones, but it helps to start somewhere)

I'm not too well read on the subject, but this may be a good starting point for you.

What Language Should You Build Your App With?


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## AesSidhe (Dec 14, 2014)

You studied economy right? Why not look into being a stock market broker? You might end up crazily rich DDDDD

And if stocks isn't your thing you might think about being a money trader, some currencies are dropping rapidly these days while others are rising. Calculate when you believe the bounce will happen for example of the ruble and buy your rubles just before you believe the bounce will happen. Then wait a few years and ping ping ping.

Of course, money trading often takes a longer time then stock trading. But it might be something interesting to look into


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## WilliamWaltz (Mar 3, 2015)

No boss or CEO wants that their employee to run from their job.
If you know that it's your necessity to stay in job then love your work and try to do it dedicated way. Enhance your interest in that job. then you automatically love it and earn it more from that.


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## PowerShell (Feb 3, 2013)

WilliamWaltz said:


> No boss or CEO wants that their employee to run from their job.
> If you know that it's your necessity to stay in job then love your work and try to do it dedicated way. Enhance your interest in that job. then you automatically love it and earn it more from that.


It doesn't work like that. Usually if you hate the job, you're going to continue to hate it. Sure you can change your thinking but eventually it comes back up and bites you and you end up hating it more.


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## noname42 (Mar 8, 2013)

WilliamWaltz said:


> No boss or CEO wants that their employee to run from their job.
> If you know that it's your necessity to stay in job then love your work and try to do it dedicated way. Enhance your interest in that job. then you automatically love it and earn it more from that.


You really can't like a job you genuinely hate. You can only just see the pros and cons in it and try to survive. That what I did and what I believe most people in the corporate world. For e.g I fixed my relationship with my boss and became better at my job. But still I really really hate my job and seriously thinking about quitting. 

My major issue is that after two year of working I don't know what I want.


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## LucasM (Jan 22, 2009)

Personally, I find I love/hate every job I've had the same. Get a job that pays ok with a decent work/life balance seems to be the most one can hope for. Even if I turned a passion into a job I'd love/hate it. Time > money > being deadbeat broke.


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