# ia it just me... or do NTJ women REALLY not want kids?



## Alice Alipheese (Aug 16, 2019)

hi guys, so a pattern ive noticed lately is alot of NTJ women not wanting kids. it seems to be dispropoirtionate in this group. out of curiousity. why? would you say it could be possible with the right man but its otherwise not a thing? or is it just a fuck no. do not want.


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## Alice Alipheese (Aug 16, 2019)

and it didnt give me an option to make a poll... damnet. it was going to be anoymous voting. o well. come forth ye brave souls. enlighten me with thine knowledge.


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## incision (May 23, 2010)

ENTJ here. I have a son but don't want anymore kids. Love children, though.


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## Kommandant (Jun 27, 2017)

I know one female ENTJ. She actually doesn't want children, mostly because she's still young and very career oriented. The only option she can imagen is adopting a child. So maybe you have a point lol.


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## Six (Oct 14, 2019)

I guess the meek shall inherit the Earth?


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## Monadnock (May 27, 2017)

According to a 16Personalities poll, childfree attitudes are most common among IXTXs and least common among EXFXs.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Alice Alipheese said:


> hi guys, so a pattern ive noticed lately is alot of NTJ women not wanting kids. it seems to be dispropoirtionate in this group. out of curiousity. why? would you say it could be possible with the right man but its otherwise not a thing? or is it just a fuck no. do not want.


I don't think you can properly qualify that statement without a relatively large representative sample.


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## incision (May 23, 2010)

Two ENTJs other than myself, that I know IRL. They each have two kids.

At present, I don't know any INTJ females IRL. Used to work with one but she was in her early twenties and single so kids weren't on the horizon.


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## Alice Alipheese (Aug 16, 2019)

tanstaafl28 said:


> I don't think you can properly qualify that statement without a relatively large representative sample.


hence the reason i am asking


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Alice Alipheese said:


> hence the reason i am asking


Statistically speaking, you probably won't get a strong representative sample from PerC alone. You're going to have to broaden your data collection.


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## Meliodas (Nov 16, 2016)

I guess being an NTJ woman is a bit like being a man in a woman's body.


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## Eren Jaegerbomb (Nov 13, 2015)

I don't know if I want kids. I can't stand young children/babies most of the time. I'm not patient enough, and they have too much energy, and I don't.

And I'm INFP.

There's already too many kids that need a better life than they have too.


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## Fennel (Jan 11, 2017)

I don't want kids for the simple reason that life is difficult, and 20 years from now it will be so much harder. Poor kids.
And my DNA isn't exactly good material...


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## contradictionary (Apr 1, 2018)

I second your observation, alice. As for me I feel like I don't really want kids, heck, I feel I don't even need any partner at all. Too much troubles.

But then I think and decide, that I have to.

Funny thing is, regardless of my life decision I always like children from the very beginning. I found them adorable and so entertaining.


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## Lucan1010 (Jul 23, 2018)

My ex, who is an INTJ, wants to have kids someday. That's my only useful data to contribute to this conversation.


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## Abbaladon Arc V (Jan 16, 2018)

MBTI don't mean kid

Take an Arabic woman ENTJ she like kids


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## Abbaladon Arc V (Jan 16, 2018)

I'm the only one who like kids ? Damn. 

You fucker


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## Grey Wolf (Sep 9, 2017)

Check out this INTJ woman's channel. She has a daughter and talks about children in at least a couple videos.


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

Perhaps it's more of a modern younger generation social-phenomena?

Considering our planet is going on 8 billion, it logically makes sense for some of us to not want to bring even more life onto this planet? It's kinda getting overcrowded, and with life expectancy extending well beyond what was projected, social planning of our economic infrastructure really should've accounted for 150 years, _at least. 

_And that's probably why PetCo is so smart about expanding their business. Sometimes it's easier to plan for a pet's life, rather than a child's that requires not only money for child support, but for the kids' educations, so many factors meanwhile everyone's struggling to put food on the table, bringing another life onto this earth makes one ask: "Do I want this child to struggle in a world that's already taxed beyond belief??"

And at the same time, there are some people out there who'd make great parents but chose not to. It doesn't meant they can't be a co-parent or at least adopt in other ways (not formally), _I think it's not just an XNTJ lifestyle consideration- we're at the pinnacle of so many changes from A.I. replacing humans in the workforce, space colonization, so many changes happening in so little time due to technology advancing so fast! High inflation. Soil depletion with high levels of salts. And resources are a huge concern!! _


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## angelfish (Feb 17, 2011)

ENTJ family friend of mine has been gunning for grandkids, lol. She has one child herself. Just had her impatiently-awaited grandchild, as well. 



strawberryLola said:


> Perhaps it's more of a modern younger generation social-phenomena?


I suspect this may be a very strong factor. It may be that NTJs, being generally long-term-oriented and resource aware, are particularly awake to the substantial life time and energy kids require - and may tend to make a more cautious choice, given greater understanding that having kids is a no-turning-back-ever, totally-life-changing decision. But it does seem, at least in my corner of the globe, and at least in my generation, like choosing not to have children is a fairly prevalent phenomenon across types.


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## strawberryLola (Sep 19, 2010)

angelfish said:


> ENTJ family friend of mine has been gunning for grandkids, lol. She has one child herself. Just had her impatiently-awaited grandchild, as well.
> 
> 
> 
> I suspect this may be a very strong factor. It may be that NTJs, being generally long-term-oriented and resource aware, are particularly awake to the substantial life time and energy kids require - and may tend to make a more cautious choice, given greater understanding that having kids is a no-turning-back-ever, totally-life-changing decision. But it does seem, at least in my corner of the globe, and at least in my generation, like choosing not to have children is a fairly prevalent phenomenon across types.


Yes, it is an ethical issue and discussion I've shared amongst many of my peers along with Gen Zs.

I've given sisterly advice to them, and I feel for these kids. They have their lives they want to live too.

Some of them come across very INFPish (seems like introversion is highly prevalent amongst the ones I talk to), we're all talking about it. It's a fact. When something's a fact, we can't deny it, but is always great to have open discussions highlighting the social issues prevalent in our times. That's how we solve problems. (MBTI labels only serve as guiding ideals for careers & relationship preferences- but that's besides the point because we're all individuals and come from so many experiences, so many backgrounds and cultural narratives & experiences).

*Especially now, ever since 2007, and shall I say y2k when our elections became _very_ corrupt.

These are the issues of our time. It's not much of a XNTJ planning issue, we all (if we're socially aware) _understand the enormity of what's going on. _Unless we're stuck underneath a rock, pretending as though life isn't getting harder and harder to get by.


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## VinVenture (Nov 19, 2019)

don't know about other INTJ women but I don't like kids- they're loud, needy, smell, cost money, take away your freedom and independence and since our world is suffering from overpopulation anyway I leave it rather to the people really really wanting them. 

When I'm around kids in my circle all I want is to get away- they drain my batteries in minutes.


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## Miss Nightingale (Aug 10, 2013)

Hm, no? I definitely want kids, it is one of my biggest dreams. I will consider it my biggest accomplishment to have raised one (or two or three). I have never actually met other female xNTJs in real life.


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## Aelthwyn (Oct 27, 2010)

Nothing very helpful to add, but based on my observations and experience, yeah... NTJs don't usually give off that "baby-person" vibe. NTJs often seem like they would have a particularly hard time handling the chaos and emotional drama of babies and small children. They strike me as preferring older kids who can have interesting and reasonable conversations - because that's their favorite way to engage with others. Slogging through the less interesting, and personality-grating years to get to the interesting conversation point may look rather daunting. 

I know there are many NTJ parents out there who are very glad they have children, and I do not intend to imply that they would be any worse at parenting than other types - but just looking at general traits and what parenting takes it seems like it would be a greater stretch for NTJs to adjust than it might be for some other types, so it makes sense that fewer would be initially attracted to the idea. 

Some general observations, which of course may not apply to all

- NTJs value competence and independence, babies and small children need SO MUCH HELP and have so many fail moments I can see it grating against that value even when they reasonably know they can't expect much 

- they seem to like their cuteness to have claws (or dark undertones, or a vicious edge...) babies are a bit too... innocent and helpless to fit that. Also, I think NTJs are more likely to call out the fact that newborns look like ugly old men in the midst of every else's cooing and giggling over them. 

- they have a hard time dealing with emotional expression, especially over trivial things, and even the kids that turn out to be NTJs themselves can have a whole lot of dramatic expression that parents need to patiently handle through the early years. If they've ever witnessed a toddler tantrum, I can imagine that being a bigger turn off to NTJs than it might be for some of the feeling types.

- NTJs seem to value drive and focus to achieve useful interesting goals, and having children definitely takes a lot of time and energy away from personal projects and/or one's career (unless you're just paying other people to take care of your kids all the time, or are one of those amazing people who seems to pull time out of their hat). Children frequently distract and throw a wrench in plans and I can certainly see that being something a TJ would not be eager to deal with. 

- NTJs prefer to interact with others who can be reasoned with - small children frequently cannot. This could be another reason the idea of raising a baby/toddler/elementary child would make an NTJ wary. 

- NTs are often not keen on doing the socially expected thing just because that's what everybody does, so they seem less likely to have children for the sake of family/social expectations, but would reeeeally evaluate the choice for themselves before doing so. When making that decision, they also seem more likely to put weight on the practical aspects over the feely desires for cuteness, cuddles, family, carrying on the family name, etc.


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## Convex (Jan 5, 2015)

VinVenture said:


> don't know about other INTJ women but I don't like kids- they're loud, needy, smell, cost money, take away your freedom and independence and since our world is suffering from overpopulation anyway I leave it rather to the people really really wanting them.
> 
> When I'm around kids in my circle all I want is to get away- they drain my batteries in minutes.


We're not suffering from overpopulation, that's elitist bullshit


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## VinVenture (Nov 19, 2019)

Convex said:


> We're not suffering from overpopulation, that's elitist bullshit


Are you kidding me? 

https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/

next thing you tell me climate change is a hoax


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## Convex (Jan 5, 2015)

VinVenture said:


> Are you kidding me?
> 
> https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/
> 
> next thing you tell me climate change is a hoax


How did this prove anything? If you wanna give links, give good ones that support what you say

Like this, https://savingafricafromliesthatkill.com/


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## VinVenture (Nov 19, 2019)

my link was pure fact without any opinion or emotional BS attached to it.

Look I don't care what kind of conspiracy BS you believe is going on. Fact is the last 50 years we doubled our numbers - thanks to modern medicine we live longer and are less likely to die from diseases, so the trend is still going up. Our resources however are limited...at least if we won't change our ways drastically. 

I don't give a shit myself since I don't have offspring and will be dead before this will really become an issue- but it will be some day.


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## contradictionary (Apr 1, 2018)

VinVenture said:


> my link was pure fact without any opinion or emotional BS attached to it.
> 
> Look I don't care what kind of conspiracy BS you believe is going on. Fact is the last 50 years we doubled our numbers - thanks to modern medicine we live longer and are less likely to die from diseases, so the trend is still going up. Our resources however are limited...at least if we won't change our ways drastically.
> 
> I don't give a shit myself since I don't have offspring and will be dead before this will really become an issue- but it will be some day.


Well, sorry to say this but Malthusianists already missed their predictions for far too many times.

If you dig deeper to your stat, it is true that world population keep climbing everywhere, EXCEPT on the developed countries such as the west and Japan. The replacement rate simply do not catch up anymore.

Heck, even the most populous country previously known as world's #1 people breeder, China has come to this same issue now.

https://www.scmp.com/news/china/economy/article/2130737/why-china-must-wake-demographic-reality

Oh, if anyone is still willing to receive their darwin award medal, please feel free to do so. Nothing personal, the pool needs to be purged every once in a while anyway. Mother nature loves it, these people are improving our species's long term survival. I respect them greatly. 

_Sent from my SO-03J sans PC_


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## haato (Feb 19, 2019)

While I can't speak for all ENTJs and perhaps I'm too young to be thinking about children, I don't want kids because I'm still in the process of achieving my goals. There's so much I want to do and learn that I don't want to be tied down by children or even romantic relationships in general. I just don't think that it's right to bring children into the world when I know that I'm not going to be fully invested in them. I honestly think that I will carry this sentiment for the next 5 to 10 years, and even for the rest of my life.


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## Convex (Jan 5, 2015)

VinVenture said:


> my link was pure fact without any opinion or emotional BS attached to it.
> 
> Look I don't care what kind of conspiracy BS you believe is going on. Fact is the last 50 years we doubled our numbers - thanks to modern medicine we live longer and are less likely to die from diseases, so the trend is still going up. Our resources however are limited...at least if we won't change our ways drastically.
> 
> I don't give a shit myself since I don't have offspring and will be dead before this will really become an issue- but it will be some day.


We could have quintupled our population since 10 years ago, that doesn't follow that we are overpopulated, you're either too emotional or too stupid to realize this

Just sounds like a lazy justification since you don't want kids


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## Strawberry Lemonade (Dec 7, 2019)

I'll admit to not being a fan of children, at least other people's children, but I'm still open to have one or two of my own. I like curious young people, but don't have any love for whining babies. I do think overpopulation is a growing problem, but I don't see myself in every other creature on the planet. Nevertheless, there are plenty of us zany Scottish Highlanders running around too.


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## Handsome Dyke (Oct 4, 2012)

Duo said:


> Two ENTJs other than myself, that I know IRL. They each have two kids.


 Did/do they actually _want_ those kids though


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## incision (May 23, 2010)

Jingle All The Gay said:


> Did/do they actually _want_ those kids though


Yes. Planned and wanted.


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## VinnieBob (Mar 24, 2014)

As a 57 y/o INTJ male I never wanted children
Tbh the little bastards freak me out:laughing:


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