# Early signs of controlling/possessive partners?



## dagnytaggart (Jun 6, 2010)

Well, I've told him that I wanted to go separate ways, and now he's blowing my phone up. I'm going to ignore him though.

One of my friends in particular said that he'd back off and give me space once we got into an exclusive/official relationship.

I'm done with the guy now, not changing my mind. But out of curiosity, do you think she's right?


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## Sovereign (Aug 19, 2011)

dagnytaggart said:


> Well, I've told him that I wanted to go separate ways, and now he's blowing my phone up. I'm going to ignore him though.
> 
> One of my friends in particular said that he'd back off and give me space once we got into an exclusive/official relationship.
> 
> I'm done with the guy now, not changing my mind. But out of curiosity, do you think she's right?


Not likely. I tend to agree with @knittigan on this one. The best behavior you're likely to see would be now.

I need a lot of control over things; I'm an 8. However, I *don't* treat people like possessions. People are people, and I do not own them, regardless of how close we are. If you would have fallen into that role of a possession, you would have been fine. However, I don't think you'd want to be there (hell, I wouldn't), and that would make the behavior worse.


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## Neon Knight (Aug 11, 2010)

dagnytaggart said:


> One of my friends in particular said that he'd back off and give me space once we got into an exclusive/official relationship.
> 
> I'm done with the guy now, not changing my mind. But out of curiosity, do you think she's right?


Nope. That's when they show their true colours if they're hiding anything, once you're in their web. Although it doesn't sound like he's hiding much as far as bad behaviour, I can only think that if this is what they are actually willing to show you, what will they show when they are more comfortable? And even worse, when they have more emotional control over you because once they have emotional control over you it's much harder to escape because now you're going to be more reluctant to pull away because that's just how some people are, they'll stick with it until it's impossible to stick with it and it can get way worse before that ever happens. As illogical as it is, it's what happens and controllers know that.


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## dagnytaggart (Jun 6, 2010)

As an update, the guy called back from a blocked number and pleaded for me to tell him why I won't see him anymore.

I was honest about things, not because I wanted to "work on things", but because INTJs will be honest like that. lol

He apologized and said that he really wants a serious relationship with me.




















....and I declined and told him not to contact me again. For some reason, his desperation/rushing confirms my suspicions about him being not right in the head.


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## Impermanence (Apr 24, 2012)

If you even talk about another girl (not in a sexual way) she get's jealous.


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