# TJs: Is too much emotion make you sick?



## WickedQueen (Jun 1, 2009)

So I read "Tell a Personality Cafe member what you really think of him or her" thread (Part 1 and 2), and that threads are full of emotions, from lust, love, to hatred.

To be honest, everyone's posts in those threads make me want to vomit. Too much emotions make me sick. Seriously.
I hate those threads now. It make me want to yell and tell people to get over themselves because everything, imo, is so exaggerated and too much.

Not only that.
IRL, seeing someone crying or angry or too fluffy/soft/kind/sweet make me feel uneasy and uncomfortable.
I have a friend who is very sweet, nice, and fluffy. Her overflooded emotions makes me want to stay away from her. The more she try to reach me, the more I want to runaway.

Do you have the same problem?
If yes, how do you deal with it?



Note: I think I suppose to put this thread on MBTI section....


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## niss (Apr 25, 2010)

Too much emotion does make me want to withdraw from the situation. However, "too much" is not a quantifiable amount and will be different for each individual. 

I don't get bothered by the threads you've mentioned, from the perspective of the emotional response. I actually view those threads to be a bit on the unhealthy side. If I have a problem with a person, there is no doubt in that person's mind how I feel.

However, I do dislike those threads from another perspective--Too many times I know exactly who is being described. The whole point of those threads is that they were to be anonymous. If that fails (and it does), then the thread should be removed.


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## WickedQueen (Jun 1, 2009)

What about IRL? How do you deal with it (too much emotion, too much drama, etc)?


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## niss (Apr 25, 2010)

WickedQueen said:


> What about IRL? How do you deal with it (too much emotion, too much drama, etc)?


As I posted above...I withdraw.


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## Tuttle (Oct 30, 2009)

WickedQueen said:


> To be honest, everyone's posts in those threads make me want to vomit.
> 
> It make me want to yell and tell people to get over themselves because everything, imo, is so exaggerated and too much.


I'm an NF, but I totally agree with you. And it's not just those two threads that you mentioned. For me, it's about 80% of the INFP forum, too. 

I've rolled my eyes so many times at the sentiments and emotions that are expressed that I've sprained my eyeballs. Not that their feelings aren't valid, but the level of melodrama exhibited by the posters make me want to smack them. 

Plus, add in all sorts of overwrought ideas of how wonderful life really could be if (insert unfeasible idea #1) or (insert unfeasible idea #2) were realities and I start thinking, "Yeah it would be great, but world peace/perfect unity/candy falling from the sky like rain just *isn't* going to happen!"

Most of those people are young, so the whacked out hormones and inexperience with life can account for some of that. But I don't ever remember being so angst-filled during my teenage/early adult years. Maybe I'm not really an INFP? 

TBH, that's why I spend the majority of my time here in the MBTI, SJ or NT forums.


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## Wake (Aug 31, 2009)

I don't have this problem often on these forums mostly because I avoid many non-SJ forums. Your right though it just feels like they ramble about senseless stuff and carry on these annoying chatty tones of conversation.

I guess I feel at home with the opinionated, resentful, often analytical feel of the SJ forums. Niss is also here big upside :wink: *no sarcasm intended*



Tuttle said:


> Plus, add in all sorts of overwrought ideas of how wonderful life really could be if (insert unfeasible idea #1) or (insert unfeasible idea #2) were realities and I start thinking, "Yeah it would be great, but world peace/perfect unity/candy falling from the sky like rain just *isn't* going to happen!"


Well said.


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## Linnifae (Nov 13, 2009)

As an NF they sometimes annoy me too. I am not at all against emotions but I really admire and value the ability to control them. (Though it is something I have to personally work on. Oh how I envy Ts...provided they're not _too_ closed off!) An excess of anything is bad to me. Even though I'm an emotional person I try to keep under control so that people take me more seriously when I feel the need to show emotion. The same with others. If someone is always prone to emotional outbursts I tend to get irritated and try to tune them out or avoid them. However if someone does it, and it's uncommon for them or they really have strong validity toward their feelings, I tend to really feel for them and they get my undivided attention.


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## Linnifae (Nov 13, 2009)

Tuttle said:


> Most of those people are young, so the whacked out hormones and inexperience with life can account for some of that. But I don't ever remember being so angst-filled during my teenage/early adult years. Maybe I'm not really an INFP? .


Nahh. I think it's more a matter of maturity. My ISTP husband let me read his journal from his teen years (if ever there was proof that he loves me, that's it!) and he had his fair share of angst. He's nothing like that anymore. If you skip that phase in your life, count your blessings! (I wish I could say the same :dry


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## Apollo Celestio (Mar 10, 2010)

It's not something humans can escape from. I admit there is imbalance, but perhaps running away isn't the best way to handle it. (IRL) Then again, in those instances, how often does it even concern you?


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## WickedQueen (Jun 1, 2009)

Apollo Celestio said:


> (IRL) Then again, in those instances, how often does it even concern you?


It concern me everytime I have to deal with someone who carries a baggage full of emotion, which is overwhelming to me. I can't pretend that I care with his/her emotions/problems, but on the other side, being honest to that person will make him/her get hurt and then they will dislike/hate me for being so cold/emotionless. Nothing I do is right and everything I do is considered as heartless. It feels like walking on an eggshell. It's irritating.

I usually avoiding people when they were in chaotic state of emotions IRL.


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## Female INFJ (Feb 27, 2010)

*Warmer Indifference*



WickedQueen said:


> So I read "Tell a Personality Cafe member what you really think of him or her" thread (Part 1 and 2), and that threads are full of emotions, from lust, love, to hatred.
> 
> To be honest, everyone's posts in those threads make me want to vomit. Too much emotions make me sick. Seriously.
> I hate those threads now. It make me want to yell and tell people to get over themselves because everything, imo, is so exaggerated and too much.
> ...


WickedQueen,

i am filled with too much emotion, i make myself sick. i have and am learning to 'get over myself' as you say! i suppose a struggle i have to face, being NF. but i do ensure in public, that i make my emotions no one's problem. on the surface i always remain either neutral or pleasant. if i have to cry i go somewhere in private, or take a day off. some people consider me to be cold. part of this topic is control over the mind and the emotions. some people have no control. which is unhealthy. 

i do wish to be more like an ESTJ or ISTJ, in how they deal with others, and how they see emotions. but i am an INFJ, so that is not likely. i just try to keep a cap on my emotions, because i know outsiders are annoyed by my feelings and stuff. i too avoid excessive emotional people in real life. they can kind of trigger emotions within myself, that is very uncomfortable. 

i feel there should be standards in communication and public behavior. etiquette and polish is decreasing, when it should be rising in public. it is inappropriate to get moody and emotional on other people IRL, because quite honestly, everyone has their own problems to deal with. emotional people likely find themselves alone, if they cannot find groupies to align with their causes. i wouldn't say i could ever have an *STJ type of cold reaction. my sister does this, it is fascinating to me! I will further explain how i feel about this reaction...

please bear in mind, a lot of people are letting out steam and venting on PerC. a lot of them are very young too...but partly i will say, like yourself, WickedQueen, it would be amazing if people could post and write things that benefit others, instead of just 'venting'. there is lots of meaning here, which is why I am always drawn to PerC. i think the venters are minimal. i don't think online interaction is a good judge of a 'full person's' character. INFJs vent at times, so that we can gain new perspectives. we primarily do that on our own thread though. (if anyone needs to vent, INFJ forum is good). our intuitions are prime and somehow 'help' is given. it is amazing...well that aside, back to the issue!

firstly i would try to see what it is the emotional person needs. why do they choose to express themselves in that emotional way? it is usually for attention, or maybe to get others to help them or boost their confidence. then i would act accordingly, trying to help them as best as i can. if it is not my place to get involved, i too avoid moody persons at all costs, they can be self-absorbed and selfish. otherwise, if it is a long-term relationship, then i 'tell-it-like-it-is' early on in the relationship, if the person doesn't catch on and adopt a more considerate, or positive attitude, then they know where i stand. 

usually moody people will not stick around, because they need someone to validate their feelings. so in this you have an answer. i imagine they don't stick around you for too long, because they can't get the 'attention' they want. it is good they go away from you. my sister (ISTJ) too, doesn't have the problem of emotinal types clinging to her. you have a gift! enjoy it! everyone wanders to me (INFJ), and clings, hoping for, well something! it is my soft appearance and heart that is their target.

so then in my answer i would say, you have your first step down (acting cold, or perhaps indifferent), i would suggest to you, to then 1) determine the importance of the relationship (long or short term) and 2) find out why they are acting the way they do-- is it a one time episode, or every day moodiness 3) decide if the person can be helped or not...after assessing these three points, i would try to help for a bit-- if i see a long term problem and no need to be around that person, i would exit the situation pretty quickly.

oh and one more thing...this acting 'cold' or 'indifferent' may backfire also. the clingy emotional person, may find you to be a challenge, and cling more to you, because of your strength. and work harder to get your attention. this may rile up their emotions further! so i would add some 'warmth' to your cold disposition- memorize a few cute fuzzy lines. and get to the point, with some communication immediately. this should deter the overly emotional person. your 'warm' indifference, may satisfy them for a bit, then they move on to their next victim. i mean, the overly emotional person, will move on. all persons have their days, where they need kindness. but a person out of control will learn better if their mood swings are not entertained.

this is a complex topic, WickedQueen. i hope some of what i had to say has been practical and useful to you. my sister ISTJ usually comes to me with these issues. i know she's all 'tough' but she actually gets roped into problems with 'emotional' people more than i do! because she is so caring, and wants to help and rescue everyone. i'm a B-I-T-C-H i just tell people where to go! hahaha (ok with some firm tenderness!) I guess we have traded spots for a short while (my sister and I) for now. we are close so we sometimes flip-flop. i hope all is well with you and your family too. i've read your blog you are an amazing girl and and asset to your community and family, likely


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## Apollo Celestio (Mar 10, 2010)

WickedQueen said:


> It concern me everytime I have to deal with someone who carries a baggage full of emotion, which is overwhelming to me. I can't pretend that I care with his/her emotions/problems, but on the other side, being honest to that person will make him/her get hurt and then they will dislike/hate me for being so cold/emotionless. Nothing I do is right and everything I do is considered as heartless. It feels like walking on an eggshell. It's irritating.
> 
> I usually avoiding people when they were in chaotic state of emotions IRL.


Avoidance is key then. People that fickle only serve to imbalance your own emotions.


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## InvisibleJim (Jun 30, 2009)

WickedQueen said:


> I can't pretend that I care with his/her emotions/problems, but on the other side, being honest to that person will make him/her get hurt and then they will dislike/hate me for being so cold/emotionless. Nothing I do is right and everything I do is considered as heartless. It feels like walking on an eggshell. It's irritating.


I wouldn't get too concerned about that.

The typical situation I've encountered is a retort that I should adjust my behaviours to cope for others emotions. We can see that in most cases these individuals do is expect us to adjust to accept their emotional outburst whereas they are unwilling to adjust to meet our needs for balance. This is hypocritical and as a result I avoid people who frequently require this frankly unfair exchange to stay on friendly terms. 

What they don't really seem to understand is that most people feels these intense emotions, but have learned how to control themselves to only display emotions when they are particularly affected or the situation is appropriate.


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## Raichan (Jul 15, 2010)

I think some people just grow from their emotional overload such as myself (as weird as it sounds). I try getting out of my comfort zone and learn more about being less heated about things I shouldn't have to get heated about.

Emotions don't really bother me. But when they lead to potential destruction, then it's time to take a step back and do some serious self restraint+problem solving.


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## Simplify (Oct 25, 2010)

izzie said:


> I think some people just grow from their emotional overload such as myself (as weird as it sounds). I try getting out of my comfort zone and learn more about being less heated about things I shouldn't have to get heated about.
> 
> Emotions don't really bother me. But when they lead to potential destruction, then it's time to take a step back and do some serious self restraint+problem solving.


I don't know if this is accurate or what, but aren't a lot of the INFPs on those INFP threads teens with raging hormones or what-not? But I agree with you. It's sad to see so much INFPollution. D;

I'm too new to this place to be sick to death of emotion-overload (maybe I just don't let a lot of things bother me unless it affects me personally), but I have lost major interest scrolling through the "Confessions" vent threads they have up. I've never read the one that is mentioned, but hell, I'll amuse myself and do that. *shrug*

For me, it's not so much the emotion but a blatant lack of self esteem people possess, as is often the drive for such hateful thread responses. Looking at low self-esteem go public makes me friggin' RETCH. 

It'd make me wanna gag or roll my eyes, but I can bring out that gushy side that's all humanitarian and romantic if I am called upon to do so. I can get into character, but there's a difference between INFP and IEMO.
There's only so much a person can read before he/she gets sick of hearing the same rap about "I feel this/that". 
Inner self-connection is great and all, but intelligent, thoughtful conversation has no boundaries, and it's so much more beneficial TO self discovery, and is... *interesting*.

[/CaptainObvious] Sorry if I lost sight of the goal of the topic. xD


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## misstress002 (Nov 16, 2010)

Depending on who it is determines how i respond. I do hate to see alot of emotion, expecially if the reason should not have caused a bunch of emotion at all. If the person is close to me, i would listen to them (Even though it makes me sick) but then withdraw shortly. If there not close to me i withdraw or change the subject completly. Sometime i really don't understand why people cry over something so silly. (Ex. A boyfriend you knew for 2 weeks breaks up with you, and you cry about it saying how he said he loved you.) THAT MAKES ME SICK! :dry:


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## dagnytaggart (Jun 6, 2010)

WickedQueen said:


> So I read "Tell a Personality Cafe member what you really think of him or her" thread (Part 1 and 2), and that threads are full of emotions, from lust, love, to hatred.
> 
> To be honest, everyone's posts in those threads make me want to vomit. Too much emotions make me sick. Seriously.
> I hate those threads now. It make me want to yell and tell people to get over themselves because everything, imo, is so exaggerated and too much.
> ...


Heh. I'm not even a TJ and I FEEL that way too. laughing

My ESFJ mother was horrible with this - she'd spend hours dolling up her toy poodle in baby outfits and coo at it, give it "huggles" (her word...not mine), and talk incessantly about how much she loves it, and how it's "sweet widdle family". The poodle itself was sick of it. I just about lost my fkn lunch once.


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## dagnytaggart (Jun 6, 2010)

WickedQueen said:


> It concern me everytime I have to deal with someone who carries a baggage full of emotion, which is overwhelming to me. I can't pretend that I care with his/her emotions/problems, but on the other side, being honest to that person will make him/her get hurt and then they will dislike/hate me for being so cold/emotionless. Nothing I do is right and everything I do is considered as heartless. It feels like walking on an eggshell. It's irritating.
> 
> I usually avoiding people when they were in chaotic state of emotions IRL.


AHA! You're being emotional right now, you know.


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## WickedQueen (Jun 1, 2009)

God said:


> AHA! You're being emotional right now, you know.


I'm irritated by too much emotions that I don't give a damn of, yet I was expected to care.


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## The Exception (Oct 26, 2010)

niss said:


> However, I do dislike those threads from another perspective--Too many times I know exactly who is being described. The whole point of those threads is that they were to be anonymous. If that fails (and it does), then the thread should be removed.


I agree. I don't participate much in these threads but when I do, I am careful not to say anything too mean. I also try to make my comment generic enough so its not too obvious who its directed to.


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