# My friend’s partner won’t have sex with her because she’s pregnant



## Eren Jaegerbomb (Nov 13, 2015)

tarmonk said:


> This is an extreme example. But what about guys who have both decent material resources and decent personality? There are lots of them around the world.
> 
> Don't have to be exactly a millionaire but just have to have enough resources so at least he doesn't need to sleep under the tree with his family, eat bats and drink water from the river. Wouldn't that still be better option than personality wise decent guy without any resources? Whom of those would women choose if they had both options on the table? I bet not the poor guy


I wouldn't care about that.
Homeless people need help.


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## TranscendingEnlightenment (7 mo ago)

I have a hard time getting impressed by these younger generations who are less about family stability and more about looking like hot Instagram models being materialistic consumers having sex a lot. But I also have a hard time getting impressed by older generations because of the sexist shit. So, I'm at a loss between older and younger generations when it comes to sex and dating.

Either way, if this impregnated woman has sexual needs that her partner cannot satisfy even after their child is born, problems will arise. They need to discuss things with each other rather than be passive-aggressive to avoid relationship problems in the future. They should also go to a relationship counselor.


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## daleks_exterminate (Jul 22, 2013)

Full_fathom_4 said:


> As you get older, a man will (should) realize that a woman simply wants acquiescence to enable her power, without strife.
> 
> Until women clearly state what the ideal Man is.... there will be the less-than-ideal. And of course it will need to be defended intellectually, as we know women are human and humans are imperfect AF.
> 
> ...


You do realize that your point about women not being clear on what they want, does contradict the other idea you're implying, that we're literally the Borg. I fucking wish there was a hive mind that i could tap into to understand how to do social cues, or expectations, but alas sadly my vagina didn't come with magical hive mind powers. 

I like different things in men than what my sister, or a friend likes in men. Why? Because we're individual people with different thoughts, baselines, and such......


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## Zosio (Mar 17, 2015)

daleks_exterminate said:


> You do realize that your point about women not being clear on what they want, does contradict the other idea you're implying, that we're literally the Borg. I fucking wish there was a hive mind that i could tap into to understand how to do social cues, or expectations, but alas sadly my vagina didn't come with magical hive mind powers.
> 
> I like different things in men than what my sister, or a friend likes in men. Why? Because we're individual people with different thoughts, baselines, and such......


Goddammit you've gone rogue again. Time for another reboot. 

*You will assimilate*


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## Zosio (Mar 17, 2015)

ButIHaveNoFear said:


> It’s his baby, and he seems happy about the imminent arrival.
> 
> He is freaked out by sex with her, I guess. He still loves her, but it’s hard for her to be completely assured since he doesn’t express it in that way anymore, and it makes their relationship feel more distant. She feels hurt and ugly, especially when she finds evidence of him pleasuring himself without her. She wants to know that he doesn’t find her repulsive because of her body changes—but a part of him does. It’s very frustrating, and she doesn’t know what to say or do anymore. I don’t know what to tell her, and the situation makes me feel really sad. She’s a lovely pregnant lady with a heart of gold, and her partner used to seem good, but now I see the words “Total Loser” superimposed on him. They’ve talked about it before, I assume several times, but it didn’t stop the hurt.
> 
> ...


Men who decide to reproduce and then are disgusted with the results of reproduction are actual trash-tier human beings. Not even gonna be diplomatic and tag an "imo" to the end of that.

And here I was dissing on people with a breeding fetish the other day when they're actually the real MVPs.


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## Queen of Cups (Feb 26, 2010)

daleks_exterminate said:


> Because we're individual people with different thoughts, baselines, and such......













"Women don't know what they want.."

Uh, yeah we do.
But it's probably gonna be different from the last woman you talked to. 

My husband couldn't keep his hands off me when I was pregnant. (similar to when I'm not pregnant) 

Guys who don't realize that pregnancy changes your body (often permanently) need a boot to the head.


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## Echoe (Apr 23, 2012)

Er, honestly, when I've heard about guys getting really weirded out by pregnancy (or birth) I've wondered if they didn't have this sophomoric, overly-sexualized perspective on the reproductive side of life -- as if they somehow haven't _really_ processed that sex makes babies xP.


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## Full_fathom_4 (Jan 23, 2018)

Oh guess I made a controversy. Allow me to rephrase.... 'women don't communicate what they want', very well. Of course, that would _tip your hand_. 

Perhaps you're not one of these women, but there are many... selectors. 

It's human nature after all. Insert your dislikes here!


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## intranst (Jul 13, 2021)

I think people in general suck at communicating what they want directly, but that of course also comes from not really knowing what they want. To me, knowing what you want you and being upfront about it is one of the best traits in a human.


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## ENFPathetic (Apr 3, 2018)

ButIHaveNoFear said:


> It’s his baby, and he seems happy about the imminent arrival.
> 
> He is freaked out by sex with her, I guess. He still loves her, but it’s hard for her to be completely assured since he doesn’t express it in that way anymore, and it makes their relationship feel more distant. She feels hurt and ugly, especially when she finds evidence of him pleasuring himself without her. She wants to know that he doesn’t find her repulsive because of her body changes—but a part of him does. It’s very frustrating, and she doesn’t know what to say or do anymore. I don’t know what to tell her, and the situation makes me feel really sad. She’s a lovely pregnant lady with a heart of gold, and her partner used to seem good, but now I see the words “Total Loser” superimposed on him. They’ve talked about it before, I assume several times, but it didn’t stop the hurt.
> 
> ...


Your friend's apprehension is not crazy. But his duty to his wife trumps his feelings. I would tell your friend to suck it up and fulfill his duty as her man. He should definitely lie to her in this case. Even if he thinks she's repulsive, he should tell her she's extremely beautiful and be patient until she has the baby and her body goes back to normal. She might not believe him. And she's going to test him. It's his job to stick to his story and keep reassuring her that she's hot. If she has already lost hope and stopped trying to look good for him, he can remedy this by planning fancy dates that force her to dress up and then commenting on how good she looks until her confidence is restored. That's the emotional duty. On the physical front, he also has to continue fucking her brains out. Trust me. As long as his mind isn't broken, he will find a way.


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## ENFPathetic (Apr 3, 2018)

WickerDeer said:


> obviously forcing someone to have sex isn't good lol)


If he didn't feel like going to work, he would still go and perform his duty in order to keep his business running. So then why wouldn't he fuck her brains out in order to keep his marriage going? I don't understand how people can excuse a partner copping out of giving their spouse their basic rights because feelings.


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## Zster (Mar 7, 2011)

In the latter half of my pregancies, but esp the first, my husband did not want intercourse as he was REALLY weirded out by the possibility that the baby might actually SEE his inserted member! He knew it sounded crazy, but could not shake it. We did other types of sex play until after the baby arrived, then, once we started sleeping again (weeks post delivery), our usual fun sex life resumed.


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## Dezir (Nov 25, 2013)

ButIHaveNoFear said:


> It’s his baby, and he seems happy about the imminent arrival.
> 
> He is freaked out by sex with her, I guess. He still loves her, but it’s hard for her to be completely assured since he doesn’t express it in that way anymore, and it makes their relationship feel more distant. She feels hurt and ugly, especially when she finds evidence of him pleasuring himself without her. She wants to know that he doesn’t find her repulsive because of her body changes—but a part of him does. It’s very frustrating, and she doesn’t know what to say or do anymore. I don’t know what to tell her, and the situation makes me feel really sad. She’s a lovely pregnant lady with a heart of gold, and her partner used to seem good, but now I see the words “Total Loser” superimposed on him. They’ve talked about it before, I assume several times, but it didn’t stop the hurt.
> 
> ...


I would not have sex with a woman because she's pregnant, it seems totally weird to me.

And if he would, only because she wants it, I don't think there would be much enjoyment out of it, he probably finds it weird as well.

If that makes me a "total loser" in your eyes, so be it, I don't care. But I don't think you have a "heart of gold" when you are so quick to be judgemental.

People who go out of their way to tell you they are good people are not good people in my experience.

If there's any other issues with their relationship, your OP didn't mention any, but if that's all the issue there is, I think the man is totally in the right.

Imagine gender-reversed, with the man wanting to have sex and the woman not wanting to have sex, I don't think you would have the same attitude and see the words “Total Loser” superimposed on her. I think you would actually be supportive of the woman's choice because she doesn't feel comfortable with it.

And would see him as a "Total Loser" for wanting to do this in the first place. I could be wrong, but my money is on that this assumption is correct.


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