# How well do you get along with your shadow type?



## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

In case you don't already know, a person's shadow type is the exact opposite of theirs. For example, I am an ENFP, and I am Extroverted, intuitive, feeling, and perceiving. However, my opposite the ISTJ, would be Introverted, sensing, thinking, and judging. 

Now I personally have butted heads with nearly every ISTJ that I've ever known. How do the rest of you all get along with your shadow types?


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

I've only known one confimed ESFJ, and that's my older sister. We get on very well.


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## limelight3 (Jul 27, 2010)

My roommate and best friend is my shadow type and we're insperable. We argue every 5 seconds, but we have fun while doing it. :tongue:


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## talemin (Jul 4, 2010)

ESFP...never meet one of them. At least, not one that i know and officially typed. Perhaps they lurk in places that I avoid (disco, sit-ins...?)
I should pick a person who irks me and submit it to you to type


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

I was about to talk about my ISTJ dad, but now that I've decided to see how ENTP fits: I've never really met an ISFJ...
I'll still talk about my ISTJ dad:
Our ways of thinking kinda collide sometimes. He, of course, really likes to stay with familiarity. I, of course, am open to the new. He sometimes looks down on things that aren't what he grew up with or what he's familiar with. Sometimes he tells me to do things without reason. I'm notorious in my family for always needing a reason for things lol
But he's much more practical than I am and I think that it's a good thing for a dominant Ne-user like myself to learn some practicality. We can also relate in a few ways: We both love history, sci fi, fantasy, and strategy games. I guess I got my nerdiness from him lmao


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## Nasmoe (Nov 11, 2009)

Any ESTJ I've ever known, I probably stayed out of their way.


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## Aerorobyn (Nov 11, 2009)

Well I haven't exactly figured my personality type out yet. The good thing? I have it pretty much narrowed down to four options: ISFP, ESFP, ESFJ, ENFP - which would make the shadow types ENTJ, INTJ, INTP, ISTJ

INTJ's and INTP's, I really *love* them. :blushed: Actually, my best and/or longest relationships/friendships have been with these two types. 

ENTJ's are cool. I've had pretty good experiences with them, but they definitely don't beat INTJ's - sorry :tongue:

ISTJ - do I have any choice but to not get along with them? I was raised in a household with two (maybe three) ISTJ's. I think they need to loosen up a bit, and learn to live a little, but, yeah...at least they're dependable.


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## Timmah (Jul 25, 2010)

*Shadow types*

I've usually not had a problem with ESFJ's male or female. To honest I'm probably one of the few NT's around here that like SJ's.


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## PulpFictionFan (Jul 12, 2010)

I get along great with ISFPs. I admire their artistic and/or musical abilities. Their quietness is like a puzzle for me to come into contact with and unlock in order to learn more about them. I actually like introverts, they don't give away their personalities right away, you need to delve deeper to do that.


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## madhatter (May 30, 2010)

Never met an ENFJ...at least I don't think I have. My mom's INFJ. We've butted heads often in the past. But we get along better now...through sheer hard work.


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## Monte (Feb 17, 2010)

ISFJ... I've probably met one and I've probably disliked them.

Me and real-world SJs don't get along, and most of the feelers I know tend to be on the extreme end, so based on that I'll say we wouldn't get along.

Although, I might be surprised, of course.


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## Functianalyst (Jul 23, 2009)

madhatter said:


> Never met an ENFJ...at least I don't think I have. My mom's INFJ. We've butted heads often in the past. But we get along better now...through sheer hard work.


Actually our shadow type is ESTJ. I get along with them very well. Contrary to claims made, the ESTJs I have known allowed me to get my work done as needed and gave me ample freedom.


NatetheGreat said:


> In case you don't already know, a person's shadow type is the exact opposite of theirs. For example, I am an ENFP, and I am Extroverted, intuitive, feeling, and perceiving. However, my opposite the ISTJ, would be Introverted, sensing, thinking, and judging.


I have always understood our shadow type to be the type that share identical function order, but different attitudes:

TNSF = ENTJ/INTP
TSNF = ESTJ/ISTP
NTFS = ENTP/INTJ
STFN = ESTP/ISTJ
FNST = ENFJ/INFP
FSNT = ESFJ/ISFP
SFTN = ESFP/ISFJ
NFTS = ENFP/INFJ


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## madhatter (May 30, 2010)

Functianalyst said:


> Actually our shadow type is ESTJ. I get along with them very well. Contrary to claims made, the ESTJs I have known allowed me to get my work done as needed and gave me ample freedom.I have always understood our shadow type to be the type that share identical function order, but different attitudes


Oh yeah, I get along with ESTJs just fine. The ones that I know are a little too wound up for their own good, but we understand each other perfectly.


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## Musician6120 (Jun 24, 2010)

When I took the MBTI in high school, we were instructed to find out opposites. It was quite amusing. I finally understood why I didn't like this girl!! haha We were opposites and it made sense. My best friend at the time, a year older than me, had the same experience. Since then, I have met at least 1 more-ESTJs that is. I felt very uneasy around the one for many years, but later on it wasn't so bad. We respected eachothers' differences. 
It's kind of funny to see a few people here say they don't know any ESFJs or ESFPs. My world is overrun with them!!!
Now, if were' talking ENFJs, that's a way different story. I think I have known 1 in my life and I was quite smitten with him, in awe. I never really got know him beyond a professional level. He got my attention just by seeing him be so nice to everyone, very respectful person. I find that quite appealing.


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## anon (Oct 19, 2009)

I'm not sure whether I'm INFP or INFJ at this point... but I find that ESTJs, depending on who they are, are alright with me, and I'm okay with them too, but we tend to clash and there is a huge gap that needs to be worked out (can take a lot of time) before we can just...be, I guess. I like their go-with-the-flow-get-things-done-and-have-a-good-time-with-family-and-friends attitude. They keep me calm to some degree... and are able to leave me to do my bit and I let them to their's. Some ESTJs are scary (for lack of a lighter term) though :bored: 

ESTPs are probably a little more trickier for me. I am okay with them generally, I like how they can excel in any skills they wish to get their hands on. They get things done in their own unique way. They're funny and mean well if they care for you. But I have a huge disconnection factor with them. It takes a lot of work to even have a mutual interaction. Sometimes it goes on with the attitude of "live and let live" and this keeps peace from a distance. But the closer we get with our POVs and perspectives, the trickier it gets. 

I get along with both of these types to a reasonable amount. There's basically not a thing as not getting along with them. Just not too well. Perhaps I would like to, one day.


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

Since Functianlyst says that the ENTP's shadow type is INTJ, I can say that I've only really met one INTJ...my sister. We get along very well. She and I have had misunderstandings in the past, but luckily, I can now understand some of her behavior better. Beyond everything, we have very similar interests and ways of thinking and it's very easy to talk to her and have fun with her.

If I'm an ENFP, I can also talk about my INFJ mom. She's sometimes a bit too dramatic about things :dry:, but all-in-all, we can usually get along quite well. She's helped me with many problems in the past, but sometimes it is hard to talk to her about things since she kinda looks down on my thoughts...or seems to not be very understanding about things. It's easy to laugh with her and have a very fun time, most of the time. She is very wise and knowing, I'll give her that. For that reason, she's a very good parent


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

Functianalyst said:


> Actually our shadow type is ESTJ. I get along with them very well. Contrary to claims made, the ESTJs I have known allowed me to get my work done as needed and gave me ample freedom.I have always understood our shadow type to be the type that share identical function order, but different attitudes:
> 
> TNSF = ENTJ/INTP
> TSNF = ESTJ/ISTP
> ...


Really, I thought that a person's shadow type was the one opposite of theirs? If that's the case, I've never met an INFJ, so don't know how I would get along with them.


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## The Great One (Apr 19, 2010)

talemin said:


> ESFP...never meet one of them. At least, not one that i know and officially typed. Perhaps they lurk in places that I avoid (disco, sit-ins...?)
> I should pick a person who irks me and submit it to you to type


You've never met an ESFP? Are you serious? They are everywhere.


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## talemin (Jul 4, 2010)

what i was implying is: none of the people i met and who I know took the test resulted as ESFP; and I only started to try typing people without a test, so i can't say for sure 'yes, (s)he is ESFP and i like/dislike her' XD

only persons among my accountances who took the test (i started some spam-like policy in the last months ) resulted: ISTJ, ISTP, ENTP, ENFP.

I still don't know (as tested) types of my ex-collegues nor family ^^'

--edit---

ehm...may you please reach some agreement on who is the shadow of who? I also knew only the 'straight opposite' definition.

If INTJs shadow is ENTP...well, the only ENTP i typed is an online acquaintance and he's an interesting person...but most of our interaction is me talking off him for being almost always a troll and a jerk in a forum where i am mod in XD


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## Functianalyst (Jul 23, 2009)

NatetheGreat said:


> Really, I thought that a person's shadow type was the one opposite of theirs? If that's the case, I've never met an INFJ, so don't know how I would get along with them.


That's simply our opposites. We use the same functions but in reverse.


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## voodooqueen126 (Jul 14, 2013)

peoplesayimanahole said:


> Same here now I'm thinking my best friend might be the personality I thought I wouldn't get long with the most. It seems the people I can't see eye to eye with are esfps which I thought I would actually like.


The suspected ESFP I've met had a borderline personality disorder. Really annoying, 2 kids in foster care...etc


edicon said:


> My wife is an ISTJ, I'm an ENFP. We definitely have many different styles of doing things but I can say that the more effort you put into understanding how they reason the less frustration you will experience when interacting with your shadow type. I had a bit of a head start having a mother that is also ISTJ. she did such a wonderful job helping me see others points of view.


I think interacting with one's shadow can be beneficial. I think as an INTP woman, who interacts mostly with other women, who are statistically more likely to be ESFJs, I have learned to appreciate their good qualities, so I am protected against developing the prejudices against Sensors and Feelers that some INTP men display.


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## Brooklaughs (Aug 29, 2012)

It entirely depends on if I agree with the ESTJ's values. While the ESTJ preference for structure and systems can really help me be efficient, and I generally appreciate their straightforwardness, they can be somewhat traditional and narrow-minded.


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## Van Meter (Sep 28, 2012)

I like most types as long as the rest of their personality, beliefs, and moral intentions aren't fail. That said... a good Estp and me get along crazy good, they help me to ease off just a little and have some sensual fun and not care so much(which is great when I need to), I help them to give more of a crap about lasting truths to embrace that will aid them.


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## Fleetfoot (May 9, 2011)

I've never met an INFJ. There aren't that many out there to meet in the first place.


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## EmmaGilbert (Jul 31, 2013)

I have only ever met INFPs online. The ones I have met have been nice, but I haven't had enough interaction with them to say one way or the other that we get on. I would be interested in getting to know them better.


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## voodooqueen126 (Jul 14, 2013)

3 of the people I surveyed in real life have been INFP's, two INFJs (both female) and two female INTJ.
i also have one guy INFP net friend and another female INTJ net friend.
I am pleased to know so many rare types.


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## RWK (Jul 14, 2013)

I haven't met another ISTJ or ENFP in person. I honestly have no idea what an ENFP would look like, I can only compare them to ESFP's but I assume they're pretty different. I'm just surrounded by a lot of ENFJ's and INTP's. One day I'll find my ying and yang... one day.


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## infjarl (Jan 16, 2013)

estps are like unicorns to me; never met one and wouldn't know what do if i did


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## Madeleine44 (Mar 26, 2013)

I have a few ESFPs that I know but not too well. They all like to party and get drunk, things I don't particularly enjoy


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## Bluefireluv (Jun 17, 2013)

The only ESTJ I ever met was online.
He annoyed me with everything he said and did D:


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## mushr00m (May 23, 2011)

ESTJ's that I have worked with(I think my stepmum was an EXTJ), well I learnt a lot of practicality skills, how to be a better worker and why it is important to contribute to society in order to keep things running efficiently, as much as I may hate it at times, there is no escaping that so all my experiences with EXTJ's have been a lesson, one that may take time to get good at being practical, maybe I wasn't recognized much of the time for my hard work, I know it's to be expected and maybe that's something EXTJ's can develop if they already havn't, through their Fi inferior function, to remember to give praise, hey it's good for morale, this obviously doesn't apply to all but y'know, praise goes a long way! Just a thought. Something I like about this type is just 'lets get down to business eh', the high structure is a blessing in other respects, at least I know what to generally expect and that makes my enneagram type happy :happy:
Keeping this to a positive note because all I hear is why these two types disagree and so wanted to talk about the constructivism for a change.


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## Richard Evers (Aug 20, 2013)

I know it's pretty unusual for an INFJ, but I like to party a lot. Some of my partyfriends are hardcore ESTP's, and there's always so much action when I'm around them. I tend to act like an ESTP on parties and get the best out of the parties as possible, so that's why they consider me to be the off-beat in their ESTP group.


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## jenteal (Aug 20, 2013)

My sister is a INFP and I would like to say we are close. We stay in contact and speak weekly but in all honesty if she wasn't my sister I wouldn't give her the time of day. She is way to sensitive for my taste and I have to sensor myself to have a conversation with her.


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

Richard Evers said:


> I know it's pretty unusual for an INFJ, but I like to party a lot. Some of my partyfriends are hardcore ESTP's, and there's always so much action when I'm around them. I tend to act like an ESTP on parties and get the best out of the parties as possible, so that's why they consider me to be the off-beat in their ESTP group.


See, if the INFJ's I met would let their hair down and not try for deep connections shortly after meeting, I'd probably get to know them. I might like them. But they didn't give me a chance, straight into 'deeply meaningful expression' and I was backing up, looking for an out. You guys seem fine online, it's just in real life that the ones I've met made me very uncomfortable.


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## Richard Evers (Aug 20, 2013)

monemi said:


> See, if the INFJ's I met would let their hair down and not try for deep connections shortly after meeting, I'd probably get to know them. I might like them. But they didn't give me a chance, straight into 'deeply meaningful expression' and I was backing up, looking for an out. You guys seem fine online, it's just in real life that the ones I've met made me very uncomfortable.


The number 1 egotrick of the INFJ's is that they can strive too much towards meaning. Next to that: they are very harsh in their judgements.  Two of my childhoodfriends are ESTP and I appreciate and respect them very much, especially because they helped me to see much more of the world.


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## ilythia (Jun 26, 2012)

The Great One said:


> In case you don't already know, a person's shadow type is the exact opposite of theirs. For example, I am an ENFP, and I am Extroverted, intuitive, feeling, and perceiving. However, my opposite the ISTJ, would be Introverted, sensing, thinking, and judging.
> 
> Now I personally have butted heads with nearly every ISTJ that I've ever known. How do the rest of you all get along with your shadow types?



Hmm, my understanding of the shadow type is reversed functions and order. Could be wrong though.

For example, me as INTJ would be
Ni Te Fi Se
My shadow type would then be
Si Fe Ti Ne

Using this definition I end up with ISFJ (Si Fe Ti Ne). I love ISFJ and admire them very much. But when it's bad with them, it's terrible.

Using your definition of shadow type, I end up with ESFP. I tend to not like them a lot. I can't stand being with them for a long time. Nothing personal, it just feels like I don't have much to discuss with them.


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## monemi (Jun 24, 2013)

ilythia said:


> Hmm, my understanding of the shadow type is reversed functions and order. Could be wrong though.
> 
> For example, me as INTJ would be
> Ni Te Fi Se
> ...


By your definition, my shadow type is ENFP. I get along just fine with them and haven't experienced any discomfort.


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