# Any introverts prefer living in big cities??



## te1389 (Dec 8, 2012)

I'm one of the most introverted people I know, but somehow I'm drawn to cities. I'd actually say I feel energized when I'm there. I like the atmosphere and the fact that there is a lot to do and see, and feel kind of depressed when in a more rural setting. I grew up in a larger city and have lived in a small college town the last 4-5 years and can't wait to move. I really like the idea of being alone in a crowd, or remaining anonymous while still being in a lively environment. Maybe go out for something to eat/see some live music, then head back to my apartment to recharge. If I feel like interacting with anyone, I have that option. If not, I won't be bothered about it. Sounds like paradise :happy:

I guess I was just wondering if anyone else can relate...


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## fihe (Aug 30, 2012)

I would love to live in a city! not only would it be easier to go places and get around, but even with all those people around, I feel like everyone is focused on their own lives. I believe that in a small town, people are more likely to know everyone's business.


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## pandamiga (Aug 11, 2012)

Idk if it is function related, but I used to feel the same way. I am the kind of person who gets excited simply when a new piece of technology is even thought about. I enjoy knowing that there is so much just one place can offer me even if I never explore it all. I enjoy knowing that so many different human beings exists even if I hate them all.

...Idk. When I lived in a big city I always felt trapped in the most amazing bubble because I could pick all the aspects that I liked about it. Kind of like creating your own home from scratch.

I still do feel the same way, but now I've learned how to create my own home wherever I am.


Actually, why would you care if anyone could relate anyway?


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## moonpixie (Dec 14, 2012)

I've grown up in the city and I quite like it. I enjoy going to a big city for the day, like Los Angeles, because there's so much to do and look at. I like being alone, or with a friend or two, in the crowd. It's a different atmosphere, as opposed to a crowd at a party. I've always liked the idea of living in a small town or countryside, but I think I would get too lonely after awhile. Maybe I'll try both one day, see which one I prefer.


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## Plaxico (Dec 11, 2010)

I dig city life, but live outside the city. I would not want to live in the city. And by city life I mean every couple days a week I enjoy being there but I would not want to live and probably not work 5 days a week. I'd rather go to the city then be in the city.


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## iwrite (Oct 10, 2012)

I love big cities and would definitely want to live in one. There are so many places to be.


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## Dane (Dec 12, 2012)

I've lived in a relatively small country town all my life, and I can't stand being in a large city for long...it just seems to busy and too much to take in at once. But perhaps that's more due to my childhood than purely my introverted type, though.


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## Hrothgarsdad (Mar 29, 2012)

I get energized by being around people I don't actually have to interact with.


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## Ellis Bell (Mar 16, 2012)

I grew up in large cities all over the world and live in one now; I've always preferred to live in cities. When I was in college in a small town I used to be so bored because everything always stayed the same. I also like having the ability to blend in, to observe people, yet still be in close proximity to them if I ever wanted to get in contact. I think preferring cities has more to do with individual preference rather than functions or introversion, though.


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## hulia (Sep 13, 2012)

I live in a suburb right outside Melbourne and I don't really like it that much. I know all of my neighbours, they all know me, and it's pretty much boring. I prefer the city because there's a variety of people and much more activities and shops, so I'm never bored and I can talk with new people whenever I feel like it. I'd be significantly happier if I lived in the city rather than out here.


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## te1389 (Dec 8, 2012)

pandamiga said:


> Idk if it is function related, but I used to feel the same way. I am the kind of person who gets excited simply when a new piece of technology is even thought about. I enjoy knowing that there is so much just one place can offer me even if I never explore it all. I enjoy knowing that so many different human beings exists even if I hate them all.
> 
> ...Idk. When I lived in a big city I always felt trapped in the most amazing bubble because I could pick all the aspects that I liked about it. Kind of like creating your own home from scratch.
> 
> ...


From posts or books that I've read, introverts always say they hate crowds, they hate all the action because it overloads their senses, and they would much rather live in a more slow-paced and peaceful setting. I always felt the opposite, while being a definite introvert. I suspected there were others like me, but was interested in hearing from some of them.


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## DemonAbyss10 (Oct 28, 2010)

fihe said:


> I would love to live in a city! not only would it be easier to go places and get around, but even with all those people around, I feel like everyone is focused on their own lives. I believe that in a small town, people are more likely to know everyone's business.


From experience, That is exactly how it is. In cities, you tend to at least have some degree of Anonymity. At least the small town I live in is starting to get somewhat larger to the point where a large amount of out of towners come to. (Sadly most come here because it is the meth and Heroin capital of the central east US (what I consider PA to be part of anyways, some count it as the Northeast, it is more like the in-between.). That is the curse of living in the poconos/lehigh valley area, you get a bunch of overdose deaths daily.)


Granted, I am more or less an ambivert with some introvert tendencies.


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## Ayia (Feb 27, 2012)

I prefer living in cities. In smaller towns, I think my lack of social initiative would be a lot less visible. And usually others take it personally if you keep to yourself. Hence there would be a greater risk of getting "punished" by others for not being socially inclined. the thing about cities is that you're a lot less visible. So you can be social when YOU feel like it, and not when you're expected to.

Yet... us introverts often have trouble making friends, and making friends is harder in bigger cities. And most introverts need at least a few friends. In smaller towns, it's easier to know people, as you don't get lost in the crowd. 

So there are pros and cons to both alternatives. But I prefer living in bigger cities, myself.


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## te1389 (Dec 8, 2012)

Dane said:


> I've lived in a relatively small country town all my life, and I can't stand being in a large city for long...it just seems to busy and too much to take in at once. But perhaps that's more due to my childhood than purely my introverted type, though.


That was another thing I was considering. Maybe where you grow up contributes to how much you can handle. I read "The Introvert Advantage" and it was said multiple times that many introverts are drained of energy just by being around crowds, but I never found this to be true in a city. I do know many people who feel the same as you, though.


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## Baby Spidey (Jun 4, 2012)

I grew up in a very rural area, but I have always felt like New York has been calling for me ever since. I love cities. I can't wait until I can move.


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## Mammon (Jul 12, 2012)

I like to sometimes walk around in the city after so long but that's it... I DO NOT want to live there at all! Would alienate and insane the fck out of me.

If I could choose exactly where and how I want to live it would be on a mountain or somewhere very hilly.
Nothing is more beautiful than that mountain view or peaceful serene hilliness... By preference a Japanese styled house (slide doors and all)

I live in Belgium Flanders, which is the flat boring side of my country while the hilliness is at the Walloonian side -_- But than again so is that (Southern) Frenchness in archetecture which I dislike ^.^


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## Dane (Dec 12, 2012)

te1389 said:


> That was another thing I was considering. Maybe where you grow up contributes to how much you can handle. I read "The Introvert Advantage" and it was said multiple times that many introverts are drained of energy just by being around crowds, but I never found this to be true in a city. I do know many people who feel the same as you, though.


Yeah, I think the tolerance for cities is different based more on upbringing, although the type could be responsible for the processing, perhaps, so extroverted people living in a city might think "Oh cool, a crowd of people, I wonder what that guy does for a job, that woman's dress is nice, I should tell her..." Whereas an introvert would think "Great, a crowd, no-one will notice if I lose myself in my thoughts for a few minutes...". 

In a small town, most people already "get" you, and so they've already asked the awkward questions and are happy to leave you to your own devices. My problem is that in a big city, far more new people = the potential for a lot of introductions, small talk ect. and it's like the prospect of having 2,000 new neighbors to potentially introduce yourself to (I understand that 98% of those people i'm not even going to talk to, but the remaining 2% that might makes me anxious enough.)


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## Iustinus (Jun 13, 2012)

Ayia said:


> I prefer living in cities. In smaller towns, I think my lack of social initiative would be a lot less visible. And usually others take it personally if you keep to yourself. Hence there would be a greater risk of getting "punished" by others for not being socially inclined. the thing about cities is that you're a lot less visible. So you can be social when YOU feel like it, and not when you're expected to.


Truth.


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## te1389 (Dec 8, 2012)

Dane said:


> Yeah, I think the tolerance for cities is different based more on upbringing, although the type could be responsible for the processing, perhaps, so extroverted people living in a city might think "Oh cool, a crowd of people, I wonder what that guy does for a job, that woman's dress is nice, I should tell her..." Whereas an introvert would think "Great, a crowd, no-one will notice if I lose myself in my thoughts for a few minutes...".
> 
> In a small town, most people already "get" you, and so they've already asked the awkward questions and are happy to leave you to your own devices. My problem is that in a big city, far more new people = the potential for a lot of introductions, small talk ect. and it's like the prospect of having 2,000 new neighbors to potentially introduce yourself to (I understand that 98% of those people i'm not even going to talk to, but the remaining 2% that might makes me anxious enough.)


Very true. I'll just say that in my experience, as another poster mentioned, people may take it more personally in a small town when you don't greet them and engage in small talk. That's obviously possible in a city as well, but its much less likely that you'll run into the same people every day. It all depends on your individual situation, but I think the chances are higher that you won't be looked down on or have as much social pressure in a city.

I want to add that this specifically has happened to me. A girl I know actually deleted me from her friends on facebook because I didn't say hello to her once. Supposedly she asked my friends what "my deal" was haha


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## pandamiga (Aug 11, 2012)

te1389 said:


> From posts or books that I've read, introverts always say they hate crowds, they hate all the action because it overloads their senses, and they would much rather live in a more slow-paced and peaceful setting. I always felt the opposite, while being a definite introvert. I suspected there were others like me, but was interested in hearing from some of them.


Well, it also depends on the kind of city. If you live in the South then cities are a lot less faster than Boston or New York. Also, in the south they call a lot of places cities when they might not be (at least that was my experience). I hate Boston. I was there for a day and I wanted to murder everyone because they were not laid back enough for me >=( I am a slow paced person myself and I'd never live in a place where there is hustle and bustle. ....I'd get hit by cars way too often D:


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