# Escapism: I'm Leaving



## Slider (Nov 17, 2009)

Has anyone else ever packed up their things and left? Have you ever been fed up with your life and been sick of a particular location that you needed to escape and move away?

If so, what difficulties did you face? Did you have any regrets?


----------



## carson (Jan 21, 2011)

Yep, sure. Packed the bare essentials into the back of the truck and headed out, no home, no job, just the road and a general direction. The largest difficulty was facing myself. No, the largest difficulty was realising what I was doing and stopping to turn and face myself. I looked forwards and moved outwards to such an extent that who I was had to chase me down and run me over. In fact, it was just a small part of who I was and the impact was as much as I could handle. Can't pack up and leave that. No regrets, but not because bad stuff didn't happen or because I didn't give a shit, but because what happened rid me of the ability to regret.


----------



## Lokkye (Dec 28, 2009)

Yes, I do right now, I can't wait until I get to college, get a good degree and get a good job.
The people I live with totally don't understand me and just make me feel miserable all the time.
I want to move to a peaceful place, where I'm connected to nature (but still have internet :tongue


----------



## Slider (Nov 17, 2009)

Lokkye said:


> Yes, I do right now, I can't wait until I get to college, get a good degree and get a good job.
> The people I live with totally don't understand me and just make me feel miserable all the time.
> I want to move to a peaceful place, where I'm connected to nature (but still have internet :tongue


I got a degree, because they told me I'd get a good job.


----------



## Slider (Nov 17, 2009)

carson said:


> Yep, sure. Packed the bare essentials into the back of the truck and headed out, no home, no job, just the road and a general direction. The largest difficulty was facing myself. No, the largest difficulty was realising what I was doing and stopping to turn and face myself. I looked forwards and moved outwards to such an extent that who I was had to chase me down and run me over. In fact, it was just a small part of who I was and the impact was as much as I could handle. Can't pack up and leave that. No regrets, but not because bad stuff didn't happen or because I didn't give a shit, but because what happened rid me of the ability to regret.


Then what happened?


----------



## Cover3 (Feb 2, 2011)

not too long ago an idea sprung in my head, I wanted to leave the country and go start a new life in Switzerland or elsewhere, but without money it's not something you can just do on any given day


----------



## snail (Oct 13, 2008)

Yes. I disappeared into the woods for about six years to live like a mountain woman. It would have been awesome if the person who came with me hadn't been abusive. Regrets: my very nurturing, protective family thought I was dead, and I'd feel like crap if I ever did it again.


----------



## Jwing24 (Aug 2, 2010)

Move to somewhere else? No, never had the guts.

Though I have many, many times left people to be alone and taken a drive, rode my bike, or walked to be alone and get away from others (and from things).


----------



## Fizz (Nov 13, 2010)

snail said:


> Yes. I disappeared into the woods for about six years to live like a mountain woman. It would have been awesome if the person who came with me hadn't been abusive. Regrets: my very nurturing, protective family thought I was dead, and I'd feel like crap if I ever did it again.


Woah, mountain woman? I've missed out on a lot of your story :crazy: I'm sorry you were with an abusive person though. How did you manage to say gone for so long (food, shelter, etc)?


----------



## Capsicum (Mar 17, 2010)

Fizz said:


> Woah, mountain woman? I've missed out on a lot of your story :crazy: I'm sorry you were with an abusive person though. How did you manage to say gone for so long (food, shelter, etc)?


Yeah I'll admit that story got my attention as well. :shocked:

For how long did your family think you were dead?


----------



## Filigeedreamer (Sep 4, 2010)

I've thought about it, mostly when I was around 16...though every now and then I will get the erge to just...run away I guess. Just open the front door and start walking, get on a train with no idea where I am going and see what I can find, break the monotomy. 

It's not there is anything_ wrong_ with my life. I have a loving and suportive family, good friends...but sometimes I feel suffocated, that I lack options or direction, or that I just want something _more_...more than morgages, marrage and kids, and a 9-5 job I don't really enjoy...cos thats all I see on the great horizon of my life. 

It's not even that's a bad thing, I just would like more options, or to have a real adventure for once...it's as if my life has been planned out for me, and all the things I could become, before I was even born. My mastery of my destiny is limited by society, and the economic situation, rules of law...

I think that's what it's really about, freedom, and adventure. 

I just want to say "screw you world" and runaway to find something _different_. 

You know, I never will though. I try and create enough spontanaity and such in my life the erge is never strong enough, I don't often get it these days...and I know that all I am going to find at the end of whatever road I run down is exactly how truely limited my options are, and I'll drag myself back home again. In a way, running off into the distance and finding what I had was the best thing out in the wide wilderness of life, would be worse than just going along with the path laid out before me. Besides, I know the walls are only in my head anyway...sometimes I do things to prove it to myself, and knowing I could just disapear into the night...makes it seem less apealing somehow. The choice is there, if I want to take it, but I am _chosing_ to take the other option and go down the known path, instead of into the coldness of the truely unknown. 

Funny, the things that go on in people's heads, and the battles they have with themselves. :laughing:


----------



## bloomedmoon (Nov 5, 2010)

Yes. Eventually though, I couldn't run anymore, and I just broke down and cried. 

I don't think I had ever cried like that in years, if ever. After that, I started to feel more comfortable with being in my skin; it was a very strange experience. I just started to feel happy, and okay with being in the moment, no matter what happened, how shitty, or how great my life was. Before that I don't think I even really knew what emotions were, or even just stopping to enjoy the moment. All really strange. 

I still don't feel like I've really found my place in life though, it's all very confusing.
I'd almost liken it to a mystical or spiritual experience. Has anyone else ever had what they might think to be one?
I started to become a more warm and gentle person..
It was as if I finally understood what it meant to feel love.

That being said I think people who discourage travel are the kind who are typically fearful, or would rather just have to their life stay the exact same way untill they die and can't imagine anyone wanting to risk comfort and security. 

but I think leaving and finding your own place in the world is pretty normal for any young person. Though you want to be careful to not fall in the trap of just running your whole life, thus avoiding having to face whatever it is you are supressing internally. I wouldn't abandon anything...but getting out there is always interesting nonetheless.


----------



## Mysteriousness (Feb 24, 2011)

don't kill yourself OP you have a reason to live


----------



## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

I've picked up and moved many times in my life. A couple of those times, I never visited the cities before I moved there. But they were part of a dream or a goal. I've never regretted it. I love having those experiences. It gave me a better understanding of people and the world.


----------



## iDane (Mar 25, 2010)

Yes. I got up, quite literally last minute, and moved to middle of nowhere Alaska not all that long ago. It was a very isolated location and I had little contact with anyone. Lived in a 12x18 cabin with just the bare necessities. I can't say it was the smartest decision I could have made... but I needed it for many, many reasons. I was tired of... everything, and needed time away. I think more importantly though, I needed to prove to myself that I could do it. I enjoyed it immensely... the freedom and simplicity was invigorating. At the same time, I felt a sense of emptiness. I didn't understand it at first. I had exactly what I had wanted for so long, yet I could not shake that empty feeling. Truly the first time in my life that I could honestly say I felt lonely.

I don't regret a moment of it though. I grew, and learned a lot in the relativity short period of time I was there. Came back down to the lower 48 refreshed and with a completely new appreciation and perspective on life and the people around me.


----------



## Packey (Jun 20, 2010)

I've done it plenty of times. Got bored of where I was and just left. I'm thinking of doing it again. Recently I've had a voice in my mind saying "You're almost thirty, it's time to settle down. Get a stable job, have a family blah blah blah". There's another voice that screams "TRAP" whenever I think that way.


----------



## Eylrid (Jun 25, 2009)

I've tried a couple times. There has always been someone there to talk me into coming back, though.



snail said:


> Yes. I disappeared into the woods for about six years to live like a mountain woman. It would have been awesome if the person who came with me hadn't been abusive. Regrets: my very nurturing, protective family thought I was dead, and I'd feel like crap if I ever did it again.


That's intense!


----------



## Crystall (Mar 30, 2010)

I have thought of running all my life. As soon as I graduated high school I moved to Gothenburg to be with a guy I met over the internet. Unfortunately he turned out to be very controlling, jealous and manipulative. I spent two years with him before pulling myself out of the relationship and moving back home. 

A few months later when I was turning 23 I was completely set on applying for a job and moving to Paris when my friend convinced me to come with her and go to college in California in stead, so I did. I spent a year in Santa Monica studying photography before I came home again. 

Now I'm thinking of going to school in Stockholm in the fall, but not because I want to run away from the life I have here, but because I really want to study at that college. I feel a lot less like running now than I did when I was younger (I'm turning 25 this year). I think it's partly because of my ISTP boyfriend; he lets me be free and still somehow manages to keep me feeling safe and grounded. And I've realized that what I'm chasing is the freedom to be out in the world, and not trapped behind a window looking out. As long as I can feel that freedom I don't need to run away from my life. 

After I'm done with college I really want to find a job here in the city where my parents live, marry my boyfriend, and buy a house close to the ocean. :happy:


----------



## pukainthewall (Feb 10, 2011)

I was fed up with a girlfriend (now ex) and just turned around and walked away. One of the best decisions I ever made.


----------



## Tad Cooper (Apr 10, 2010)

Slider said:


> Has anyone else ever packed up their things and left? Have you ever been fed up with your life and been sick of a particular location that you needed to escape and move away?
> 
> If so, what difficulties did you face? Did you have any regrets?


 I'm trying to hold out until university >_< It's really hard now I have my passport and insurance sorted...I just hate my home city and want to escape somewhere like Canada! I'm planning on going to Thailand later in the year though, to ease the pressure of this place XD


----------

