# Why are men more interested in women than women are in men?



## Versatile Leader (Nov 4, 2009)

Question for women

1 How many times do you think about men?

2. What do you desire the most in your life Material things or a Man?



To me in reality i don't get signals that women really desire us the same way we desire them.

Men what are your thoughts?

:laughing:


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## Boy C (Apr 1, 2010)

I'm not sure i understand the questions.

By what degree are men interested in women?


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## Mikbert (Jul 19, 2009)

Meh, I had a little theory about this from an evolutionary stand-point.

The basic principle is that men can make loads of women pregnant, whilst women can only be pregnant with one guy at a time (so to speak). Therefore, only the women need to worry about which genes they need to "keep alive" and which ones to diss. Men are basically just "spreading their seed" to get as many offspring as possible and if women let the guy go "through" their filters, she will accept it and carry on his genes.

So, women have kind of a "filter" to sort out and be more careful about which guys they pick (and just dont f*ck around with anybody) whilst men do the opposite and will have sex with anything with a hole, or something...

Anyways, that's the very short, very basic "rundown" of my little theory, just my thoughts....


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## Boy C (Apr 1, 2010)

Not all men, obviously.


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## Calvaire (Nov 14, 2009)

Versatile Leader said:


> Question for women
> 
> 1 How many times do you think about men?
> 
> ...


1.- Well If your saying men in general or a specific man? Men in general really never
but a specific male person then everyday.

2.- Neither. I desire things that arn't so tangible to get.


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## Boy C (Apr 1, 2010)

I try not to desire anything, it only leads to disappointment when i don't get whatever it is i desire.


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

I have a feeling this may have more to do with an individual...interesting perspective though. You usually see the opposite suggested - that women spend their time thinking about & discussing relationships much more than men do. Unless we're talking about sex, and then it's suggested men are more focused on those thoughts.

* 1 How many times do you think about men?*
I don't keep count....I daydream frequently about men concerning both relationships & sex, but it's usually someone specific. I also think about men in more casual ways, as I do with anyone, regardless of gender.

* 2. What do you desire the most in your life Material things or a Man?*
Neither....I'll copy Jolene & say that my desires are rather "intangible", as I think that phrases it nicely.
If I had to choose though, I'd take a satisfying relationship with a man over many material comforts.


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## Promethea (Aug 24, 2009)

I scribble his name on my trapper keeper, or my name, but with his last name. Kekekeke. And sometimes I write 2getha 4eva. :crazy:


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## Crystall (Mar 30, 2010)

I think "I love you! But I love me more." pretty much sums it up for me :wink:


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## sprinkles (Feb 7, 2010)

What I wonder is... not how often men/women think of men/women, but to what level...

I dunno, it just seems the general impression I get is that guys think "she's hot/funny/sexy/I just like her" but with me and perhaps some other females I know it goes deeper than that, like "What's this person about? What kind of babies will we have? What kind of house will we live in? What would our wedding be like?" and not only do I personally think of that stuff but I sometimes contrive answers for those questions too...so it's like I think of a whole life involving this person of interest. 

And it isn't that those things must meet certain expectations, exactly, it's just something that I consider....


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## walkawaysun09 (Mar 13, 2010)

I am interested in women rather often, but it's typically with the emphasis of "Is this person interesting enough/sane enough to date? Is it the right time for me to be thinking about dating? If I have intent, how do I go about this?" Sex is so...simple a thing, I have more long-term ideas.

And as far as whether I like material things or women more...I'd prefer the intangible of "love" rather than be bound to just thinking about sex.

Yes...odd to find a man more interested in a relationship than sex...not like it doesn't cross my mind, but it's better when it's with someone you care about.


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## Crystall (Mar 30, 2010)

sprinkles said:


> What I wonder is... not how often men/women think of men/women, but to what level...
> 
> I dunno, it just seems the general impression I get is that guys think "she's hot/funny/sexy/I just like her" but with me and perhaps some other females I know it goes deeper than that, like "What's this person about? What kind of babies will we have? What kind of house will we live in? What would our wedding be like?" and not only do I personally think of that stuff but I sometimes contrive answers for those questions too...so it's like I think of a whole life involving this person of interest.
> 
> And it isn't that those things must meet certain expectations, exactly, it's just something that I consider....


Honestly I think that's more of a sensor vs. intuition thing than a male vs female. Though biologically women do have an innate subconscious drive to find a suitable set of genes in a man to pass on to their future children (I.E women's obsession with bad boys), and men are more prone to be driven by testosterone(A.K.A the sex hormone).


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## skycloud86 (Jul 15, 2009)

beacsyue men are condouaregd by society to eb whoresd wilt shwomen are conrouraegd by scoiety to be vigins tunilt mairrgae


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## Jib (Nov 4, 2009)

Mikbert said:


> Meh, I had a little theory about this from an evolutionary stand-point.
> 
> The basic principle is that men can make loads of women pregnant, whilst women can only be pregnant with one guy at a time (so to speak). Therefore, only the women need to worry about which genes they need to "keep alive" and which ones to diss. Men are basically just "spreading their seed" to get as many offspring as possible and if women let the guy go "through" their filters, she will accept it and carry on his genes.
> 
> ...


What Mikbert suggested makes sense to me. Like it or not, we do have a biological makeup. Without food, we die. Without water, we die. Natural drives and needs exist within us; I'm not saying sex is a need, but come to think of it, I do masturbate a lot so I probably should just give up on analyzing that one for now. I can type as much philosophical or imaginative stuff as I want, and make it sound really deep or visually rich and vibrant, but God knows I just jerked off a few hours ago and that kind of ruins the whole thing. Oh well. And yeah, it was critically important to this discussion that I mentioned this. 

On another level, though, we aren't just animals. There's a higher element, and that's where it gets tricky; and I think it has nothing to do with a gender issue at that point. My experience as a man is that I always tended to look at women as kind of guardian figures, in a nurturing sort of way, like being capable of providing a warmth and non-judgmental wholesomeness you can't find anywhere else. 

Of course, that went down the drain pretty quick and a lot of people let me know that. And on that level, I think it's reasonable for women to not be after what I'm after, because I guess my expectations are impossible or something (I just wanted a hug, jeez, you didn't have to call me names and yell at me so much :C )

Which brings me to my next point: sometimes we think we're wanting women, when what we're really wanting is that ideal we're projecting onto them. And maybe at that point, it really is better to just write off relationships/sex as a possibility and devote your life to studying the hallucinations that are gradually developing as a result of social isolation and affection/sensory deprivation. And that brings me to this song: "Manic Depression" by Jimi Hendrix, which further illustrates the point of "wanting something you can't have." Really, it hits the nail on the head on so many levels. 



> "Manic depression is touching my soul
> I know what I want, but I,
> I just don't know how to go about getting it
> 
> ...


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## tskim (Mar 2, 2010)

sprinkles said:


> it just seems the general impression I get is that guys think "she's hot/funny/sexy/I just like her" but with me and perhaps some other females I know it goes deeper than that, like "What's this person about? What kind of babies will we have? What kind of house will we live in? What would our wedding be like?" and not only do I personally think of that stuff but I sometimes contrive answers for those questions too...so it's like I think of a whole life involving this person of interest.


men who think like that wont last a lifetime once they realize they aren't happy continuing that same path that they're in for years. Which by the way, leads nowhere but the same path with different people. They will come and look for that right girl for a long term relationship and be more serious and consider about his future with that one girl that he'd like to settle in with for the rest of his life. It happens to be, a lot of men have the mentality of

'play now and be serious later'

that's the impression I'm getting for the most part.


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## YourMom (Mar 13, 2010)

Versatile Leader said:


> Question for women
> 
> 1 How many times do you think about men?
> 
> ...


Not necessarily. Just like there are certain types of girls you are just plainly not interested, there are also guys that specific girls are not interested in. Guys who showcase their attractive traits and characteristics, and who hide their unattractive traits/characteristics get laid way more. Similar to a girl who dresses well and shows off her curves, has good posture, and who looks like she's trying to look attractive.

I do think that girls are a lot more picky about who they ant to be with, or at least this is what it comes across as when they talk. In reality they just want a guy that is secure and makes them feel good. I am constantly trying to find ways to project these things in myself and am always improving.


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## MyName (Oct 23, 2009)

sprinkles said:


> What I wonder is... not how often men/women think of men/women, but to what level...
> 
> I dunno, it just seems the general impression I get is that guys think "she's hot/funny/sexy/I just like her" but with me and perhaps some other females I know it goes deeper than that, like "What's this person about? What kind of babies will we have? What kind of house will we live in? What would our wedding be like?" and not only do I personally think of that stuff but I sometimes contrive answers for those questions too...so it's like I think of a whole life involving this person of interest.
> 
> And it isn't that those things must meet certain expectations, exactly, it's just something that I consider....


It's a shame when we live in a soceity where the kind of house you live in and what type wedding you will have are "deeper" things.


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## georgie (May 2, 2010)

OrangeAppled said:


> I have a feeling this may have more to do with an individual...interesting perspective though. You usually see the opposite suggested - that women spend their time thinking about & discussing relationships much more than men do. Unless we're talking about sex, and then it's suggested men are more focused on those thoughts.
> 
> *1 How many times do you think about men?*
> I don't keep count....I daydream frequently about men concerning both relationships & sex, but it's usually someone specific. I also think about men in more casual ways, as I do with anyone, regardless of gender.
> ...


 
Women are focused more on the emotions while men are basically visual and tend to be more action oriented.


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## sarahtonin (Mar 24, 2010)

I agree with the evolutionary thing. But have you considered maybe the reason aren't as interested in men is BECAUSE men are so interested? A moderately attractive woman -and I don't just mean physically attractive, I also mean one with an attractive personality, talents, etc.- can expect to get hit on by a lot of dudes. It's not as exciting for her -if she's not looking for a relationship it can even get really, really annoying! So they're not going to get as excited if some random dude expresses interest in getting in their pants. Also, many men are primarily or entirely interested in a girl just because they want to have sex with her. It's important for women to be able to screen those people out. 

Funny story: I have a friend who is really cute, very sweet, quite smart (INTJ), and VERY talented -she's a composer of classical music and phenomenal pianist, and plays a billion instruments besides. She's not really looking for a relationship right now, and she's certainly not flirty. But she is CONSTANTLY getting declarations of love from dudes that she barely even knows! It got to the point where she's started wearing the ring her grandmother gave her on her left hand and says she's engaged.... to a big scary policeman named Steve who just returned from a tour of duty in Iraq


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## kdm1984 (Jul 8, 2009)

sarahtonin said:


> A moderately attractive woman -and I don't just mean physically attractive, I also mean one with an attractive personality, talents, etc.- can expect to get hit on by a lot of dudes


I'm not sure if I agree with this, but I suppose we'd have to define what's "moderately attractive" physically and what an "attractive personality" is.

I am one of the most popular and well-respected members on a sports card trading community that's 95% male. I don't get hit on there (there may have been one instance that I recall, but that's it), and everyone's seen my photos. I have heard before that I look too masculine, but when I've asked elsewhere (including here on PC), some others say I'm average to above average...maybe they're just BSing me to be nice.

Offline, I go to the Y in my town 2-3 times a week, which I've been doing since 2008. There was a time in 2006 (when I went sporadically) where I was flirted with rather blatantly - but again, that's it. I'm polite (if very quiet, which may not constitute an "attractive personality") and I'm in very good shape (better now than I was in 2006) and haven't gotten hit on since I started going regularly again 2 years ago.

My beloved (who views me as very attractive) sometimes jokes that I'd get noticed more by the "stupid masses" if I had blond hair and implants, but there are plenty of women who get hit on regularly who don't have those attributes, so even if I had them (lol) it wouldn't explain away other situations. I'd say it's because I'm so reserved, but I'm not reserved on the trading card forum, so...hum. It must be the appearance, then, if what you say is true.


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## missred (Feb 17, 2010)

on average, while awake i my mind flutters across the topic of men, sex or a specific man every minute and a half. sometimes it's just a passing thought and other times its deep serious contemplation/desire
it seems like everytime i get together with girl friends the subject always makes it's way to men.. and stays there. 
sure we like material objects and such, but we like men much much more. topics always range from what we like about certain guys, who we would actually date and who we have been with or around in the recent past. im not sure if this was what you were asking ... but its what your getting


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## calysco (Jan 23, 2010)

Versatile Leader said:


> Question for women
> 
> 1 How many times do you think about men?
> 
> 2. What do you desire the most in your life Material things or a Man?


Maybe it's just the girls that are in my program, but they talk about guys a lot. More specifically hot movie stars/singers. I stopped hanging out with a lot of them because they NEVER SHUT UP.

1. A lot- it can range from once an hour (at school) to once every 10 seconds (not at school). But I actually only think about one or two guys. It's not men in general.

2. Neither actually. What I desire the most is power- but this is only because the man I want is unattainable. So the next best thing is power.





Promethea said:


> I scribble his name on my trapper keeper, or my name, but with his last name. Kekekeke. And sometimes I write 2getha 4eva. :crazy:


LOL are you for real? haha i thought girls doing this was a myth haha


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## OrangeAppled (Jun 26, 2009)

georgie said:


> Women are focused more on the emotions while men are basically visual and tend to be more action oriented.


Well, this is based on stereotypes IMO. The stereotypes of women are often ESFJ-like (Fe-dom, more aware/interested in feelings & emotions) and for men you often see STP as the stereotype (Ti & Se - visual, action-oriented and not in touch with feelings).

However, I'd bet that an INFP guy would be more focused on emotions than an ENTJ woman. I think that may be less about gender than T/F differences.

The "visual" thing is strange too - it seems more women are interested in how things look, be it their home or their own appearance. Generally, men seem to be more concerned with function in these areas (or T/F again?). But somehow, men are often tagged as being more visual - how does that work? I'm an extremely visual person & not sure why being male would make someone more visual....



sarahtonin said:


> A moderately attractive woman -and I don't just mean physically attractive, I also mean one with an attractive personality, talents, etc.- can expect to get hit on by a lot of dudes.


Statements like this always make me wonder if I am just really physically unattractive & unlikeable. I am not constantly hit on at all.... I also know a lot of cool, pretty women who don't experience non-stop attention from men. I realize this is just my experience & observation, but it just doesn't hold true to me.


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## Kevinaswell (May 6, 2009)

Ask a psychologist, an evolutionist, a theorist, a physicist, or other similar types of qualified people and they will say "Because women bear the young and possess a minimal number of eggs."


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## Fanille (Sep 3, 2009)

I realize that the evolutionary psychology theory has been beaten to death, so I don't really have anything to add to that.

However, I have observed that, on Personality Café, it seems the women here are more interested in women than the men are in women. Perhaps the differences between Sensors and Intuitives could explain why people here feel "different" from the majority.


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## sushi (May 2, 2010)

*Why are men more interested in women than women are in men?*

i've always thought it was the other way around


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## Jinxies (May 5, 2010)

Versatile Leader said:


> Question for women
> 
> 1 How many times do you think about men?
> 
> ...


 
I think about men at least a couple of dozen times a day. Sometimes I think about having them as companions. Sometimes I think about sex. Sometimes I think about past relationships. Sometimes I daydream about the possibilities of future relationships. 

I would prefer having the right partner to material things, with the right guy, we can always work toward the material things we want.


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## Rayne (Apr 28, 2010)

I like this thread. it makes me feel normal haha.


sprinkles said:


> What I wonder is... not how often men/women think of men/women, but to what level...
> 
> I dunno, it just seems the general impression I get is that guys think "she's hot/funny/sexy/I just like her" but with me and perhaps some other females I know it goes deeper than that, like "What's this person about? What kind of babies will we have? What kind of house will we live in? What would our wedding be like?" and not only do I personally think of that stuff but I sometimes contrive answers for those questions too...so it's like I think of a whole life involving this person of interest.
> 
> And it isn't that those things must meet certain expectations, exactly, it's just something that I consider....


I can't speak for all men but I do the same thing you do.
Also, awesome Blazblue avatar.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Um, I pretty much feel like I've been addicted to men. If I could, I would bottle them up and wear them all day. Eau d'e Men. :happy:


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