# A friendship between a 4w5 & 9w1



## EmeraldOnTheInside (Jul 21, 2014)

Does anyone know how this would play out?

They are both INFP's as well.


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

If they were both healthy and aware, sure it could be wonderful. Otherwise, I really feel their traits and outlooks could clash like hell


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## charlie.elliot (Jan 22, 2014)

I'm an INFJ 9w1 and I have many friends who are 4's, including my mom and my niece who I'm very close to. There's nothing in particular wrong with this pairing, you could have a great friendship especially if N vs S matches up, and you had interests in common. One potential problem is that the 9 might scoff or be dismissive of some of the 4's feelings, if they got to be too much. But overall, 4's love to talk about themselves, and 9's love to listen, and they're both withdrawn so they'll probably have similar interests and energy levels.


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## EmeraldOnTheInside (Jul 21, 2014)

charlie.elliot said:


> I'm an INFJ 9w1 and I have many friends who are 4's, including my mom and my niece who I'm very close to. There's nothing in particular wrong with this pairing, you could have a great friendship especially if N vs S matches up, and you had interests in common. One potential problem is that the 9 might scoff or be dismissive of some of the 4's feelings, if they got to be too much. But overall, 4's love to talk about themselves, and 9's love to listen, and they're both withdrawn so they'll probably have similar interests and energy levels.


I can honestly see that playing out.


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## Baerlieber (May 18, 2015)

Oh! I'm a 4w5 and my life is filled with friends and loved ones (and people I've dated) who are 9w1s. I think it's a great pairing. 4s get a lot out of the 9's groundedness and acceptance and 9s get a lot out of the 4's intensity and emotional expression, often living vicariously through it. At best, they balance and inspire each other. (At worst, all types can destroy/trigger/be negative for others.) An enneagram theorist I know told me this is the most common pairing in romantic relationships. My own experience as a 4 tells me I attract nines into my life like it's nobody's business and those nines have told me they similarly attract 4s.


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## avidity (Mar 26, 2014)

It depends. What are their instincts? For me, sx-first 9w1: LOVE. Like, indescribable undying love. Sx-last 9w1 the complete opposite.


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## Quernus (Dec 8, 2011)

I'm a 4w5 and I tend to get along actually quite well with 9w1s. I tried dating one and that worked very well, until it didn't, and then ended very abruptly by my choice. I don't think enneagram-related traits were entirely irrelevant... Lol.

I'm sure any type can be friends with any type...


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## EmeraldOnTheInside (Jul 21, 2014)

avidity said:


> It depends. What are their instincts? For me, sx-first 9w1: LOVE. Like, indescribable undying love. Sx-last 9w1 the complete opposite.


9w1 sx/so


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