# How often do you keep in contact with friends? (& what's your variant?)



## KeroPanda (Jan 8, 2010)

Just had a conversation with a friend where the conversation went like this...



> Me: This probably sounds really stupid. But how do you decide how often you keep in touch with friends? Do you have a boundary limit?
> Her: I don't really have boundaries as such and... I just tend to drop my friends a text when I think of them and wonder how they're doing. lol.


Made me think. Oh damn. I really don't know what I'm doing here obviously since I'm never sure over how much contact am I meant to be talking, how often I should be doing so and whether I'll end up chatting way too much if I contact people. I suspect I'm SP dominant, SO last.

Curious, how do you SO people decide? Also other fellow SP or SX individuals?


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## Saira (Feb 2, 2012)

I'm Sx/So, and it can really be anything from day-to-day to once a month, depends on my mood. I don't have a habit to call or text people just to check on them, I only call if I want to see them.


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## Owfin (Oct 15, 2011)

Sp/So, and I'm not exactly top notch at this. I don't spend that much time contacting my friends outside of my face to face time with them. Now I do keep in touch on Minecraft, though.


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## ImminentThunder (May 15, 2011)

Ooh, friends! Where can I download some of those?!  

(that would be funny if it weren't so sad...)

With friends online, sometime between every day and every other week or so. 

What few real-life friends I do make generally end up ditching me after a short period of time without any sort of explanation. But if I do keep a friend long-term I just text or email them whenever it crosses my mind, which isn't very often. I'm sx/sp.


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## LibertyPrime (Dec 17, 2010)

So/Sx and I suck at keeping in touch. It is okay if I meet them every day, but if not then I tend to forget and can end up forgetting for a month or so. Long distance is a nightmare.

I don't really have too much of a need for contact (maybe because I'm introverted?), if I happen to think of any of them, I drop a message or something like that.


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## PlushWitch (Oct 28, 2010)

sp/sx ascetic... aaand... it's kinda like once a year to every day. But every day happens only on the chat. And then it's not like every day for years but more like every day for a few days or weeks and then it stops again for a few weeks or months...or sometimes only days...


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## sodden (Jul 20, 2009)

This is making me realize how rarely I initiate contact. I have one long-distance friend I chat online with regularly- daily or every other day. He tends to contact me first, but it's fairly balanced. 

I have one friend in town I talk or text with every week or so...

My parents call me about once a month.
One of my siblings calls me every couple of months. The rest, it's more like I see them when I see them.

I'm married and have two kids so that fulfills most of my interpersonal needs.
I think I'm sx/sp.


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## slightlycrazed (Dec 26, 2011)

@_KeroKai_ 

I'm an SP/SO, and I rarely keep up with friends. This is especially true if I am out of town or not able to personally see them(I will not text/call until I am back, or if they text me for something). When I am in town/available, I will be more frequent with my texts (mainly to my close friends and ~once a week or when I want to do something). I'm not one for small and pointless talk, so that may have something to do with it as well.


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## sleepyhead (Nov 14, 2011)

I'm sx/sp and I have few friends so keeping up with them isn't too difficult. All my close friends except one live abroad right now, so 5 of us communicate via e-mail (we're all close, we've all known each other 20+ years) every 2-5 days. We all e-mail as a group so every few days one of us will send an update about how we're doing. I have a couple of other friends i'm not as close with, and we get together every couple of months and communicate here and there via text every couple of weeks.

When my friends are living here, I rarely call them, but I see them usually once every weekend or 2nd weekend. I'm hate using the phone and the only person I really ever call to talk is my parents or my brothers. 

Otherwise, I just communicate with folks online who aren't really friends. Most of my friends are somewhat withdrawn and we all have really busy lives ('tis the age of marriage, house buying, PhD's, internships, and children) so I think we're all happy with how often we communicate.

When I'm in a not-so-healthy headspace then i can withdraw more than usual - I'll cancel plans with friends or just won't touch base with anyone, but that's when i know I need to do something to get me out of that place.


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## Jamie.Ether (Jul 1, 2011)

I'm sx/sp and it depends on the person.
If I'm dating someone, I like to talk to them everyday... It doesn't have to be for long. Just dropping a text to say hi is okay sometimes.
Most of my friends sx/sp or sp/sx so we understand the need for connection vs. alone time. We like to talk once a week or so. It's usually through text or internet.
My acquaintances or "loose friends" [people who I like but aren't best friends] I talk to a few times a year. 
I'm not very good at keeping up with acquaintances, I admit. 
It's either we are best friends and talk very often orrrr I kinda forget people exist and they have to initiate conversation with me.


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## Swordsman of Mana (Jan 7, 2011)

Sp/Sx
I contact them whenever I want to, whether that's once a week or once a decade.


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## SilentScream (Mar 31, 2011)

sx/sp

SO - When she's at work, we don't always stay in touch during. But we chat everyday once she gets home. 

Friends - would depend entirely. With some of my closest / most intimate friends, I touch base every 2-4 days. I like to plan out long, drawn and intimate conversations. My chats usually are epics [3-4 hours and sometimes upwards of 7-8]. 

I am part of a skype chat group that I visit at least 3 times a week and spend 1-2 hours there catching up with everyone else there. 

Otherwise .. it's pretty sporadic .. I can be in someone's life and talk to him/her everyday for weeks and then suddenly drop off the map and then re-appear at will. Kinda like how @PlushWitch is. I can completely relate to her in that regard. 

However, when I'm in the mood to socialize and like really socialize --- I can have 5-6 simultaneous chat windows open at a time which includes the group and other individuals. 

On the flip - sometimes when I really want to socialize and there's no one available, my thoughts turn dark and damn near suicidal. But I've gotten a lot better than in the past. Now I have a group of friends that I'm in touch with regularly including my SO. Some of my friendships are really close so I'm very happy with my socialization balance. 

That said, I'm terrible with answering PM's :/ Some of my PM's go unanswered for a long time and I constantly feel terrible about not answering them. Gugh. That's something I really need to work on and improve.


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## Sina (Oct 27, 2010)

rarely, sp/sx; 
when i do get in touch with them, we have long, intense, one-on-one conversations.


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