# Morning Wood(Nocturnal penile tumescence)



## Think (Mar 3, 2010)

*Nocturnal penile tumescence* (*NPT*) is the spontaneous occurrence of an erection of the penis during sleep.

Almost everyday, I have the morning wood phenomenon goin onroud:.. and wake up to it, when i accidentally have moved and kinda hurt my penis.

Its :frustrating: at times!!!

Anyone, having the same problem?


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## 1057 (Apr 9, 2009)

lol, having a penis must be so exciting


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

Men and their penises...hehe

I actually would hate to get an erection every time I got turned on...I mean in public...not morning wood...lol


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## susurration (Oct 22, 2009)

Well, it could be worse. You could have npw (nocturnal penis wandering).
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Think (Mar 3, 2010)

:dry:


I must add at least 10 characters :tongue: .


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

NatalieAnne said:


> Well, it could be worse. You could have npw (nocturnal penis wandering).
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


LMAO!...in all seriousness, NPW plagues about 10% of the male population...it's not usually talked about, because...who would want to talk about their penis disappearing at night for mysterious reasons/ late night rendezvous that they don't get to enjoy themselves?, but it's a definite problem! We need to find the cure people!


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## Ivan (Feb 28, 2010)

Lol, I would hate to menstrate every month for 30 some years and have to give birth to babies. I think men got the better end of the deal .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Think (Mar 3, 2010)

lol



I must add at least 10 characters :tongue: .


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## Lucem (Dec 2, 2009)

The worst is if you're busting to go to the toilet as well.


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## sensibly insensitive (Dec 20, 2009)

Lol It's the best.....until your mum decides to one day pull the blanket while ur half asleep and you just got a dong pitching a tent in ur boxers. Yeah awkward! I hate it how sometimes its' there. OK FINE you want me to relieve you? I'm not in the mood, go back to sleep, Dont make me crush you young boy. Orite fine Thts it i warned ya, im gonna sleep on my belly. :angry:

Love hate relationship.


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## 1057 (Apr 9, 2009)

you can't pee if you have an erection?.. wtf
it's a whole word of uncharted territory

i wish i could have a penis for a week


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## sensibly insensitive (Dec 20, 2009)

Regan said:


> you can't pee if you have an erection?.. wtf
> it's a whole word of uncharted territory
> 
> i wish i could have a penis for a week


You can pee, it's just annoying.


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## Lucem (Dec 2, 2009)

sensibly insensitive said:


> You can pee, it's just annoying.


It's so very annoying. I have managed once, I looked like I was doing acrobatics on the toilet.


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

Queenofleaves ascertains after reading this thread: Penises are mysterious beings...


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## sensibly insensitive (Dec 20, 2009)

queenofleaves said:


> Queenofleaves ascertains after reading this thread: Penises are mysterious beings...



Shit yeah they are. They baffle us and we're stuck with em forever! sometimes you're driving along, and outta nowhere you just get a massive boner :S:S:S and it just so happens you're wearing boxers and shorts and have to go into a busy fast food joint to get food... yeah you can't sit there and wait it out coz then it's on ur mind and it just stays there longer!:angry:


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## Lucretius (Sep 10, 2009)

It is _extremely _difficult for me to pee with an erection. :frustrating:


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## Vaka (Feb 26, 2010)

sensibly insensitive said:


> Shit yeah they are. They baffle us and we're stuck with em forever! sometimes you're driving along, and outta nowhere you just get a massive boner :S:S:S and it just so happens you're wearing boxers and shorts and have to go into a busy fast food joint to get food... yeah you can't sit there and wait it out coz then it's on ur mind and it just stays there longer!:angry:


At least boobies are simple


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## 1057 (Apr 9, 2009)

queenofleaves said:


> At least boobies are simple



word. so are vags.


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## Lucem (Dec 2, 2009)

Regan said:


> word. so are vags.


really?


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## Robatix (Mar 26, 2009)

NatalieAnne said:


> Well, it could be worse. You could have npw (nocturnal penis wandering).
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Think (Mar 3, 2010)

pinkrasputin said:


> Okay this thread is now becoming a turn on, ahem..I mean "educational". Anyone else suffer? Be sure to describe it in great detail so that it will further help my understanding. :blushed:


ha ha



Ryu said:


> It's problematic when you have stuff to do or have to run someplace when you wake up :bored:


This was the whole point of the thread. But, this thread has a lot of other effects.. (above):wink:


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## openedskittles (May 24, 2009)

My morning woods always seem to be the best woods. Seriously, I am actually impressed at what my body has come UP with sometimes, you know? It's like 'how did I even wear those jeans yesterday?'

It is really awkward that I have a roommate and sleep in my underwear, though.

On the days I sleep in and my roommate has class early, I sometimes hang my clean underwear in my morning wood on my way to the shower. It would probably be pretty terrible if my roommate's class was cancelled and he walked in the door to that.


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## Think (Mar 3, 2010)

ha ha

I must post at least 10 characters.:tongue:


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## Ryu (Mar 19, 2010)

I do think morning wood has a special quality, maybe a sense of a "full recharge".
It's one surefire way to ruin getting up early is if you get off in some fashion via morning wood - it's very easy to just go back to sleep, esp if you're still in bed.... noon comes quickly.


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## openedskittles (May 24, 2009)

Ryu said:


> I do think morning wood has a special quality, maybe a sense of a "full recharge".
> It's one surefire way to ruin getting up early is if you get off in some fashion via morning wood - it's very easy to just go back to sleep, esp if you're still in bed.... noon comes quickly.


Yeah. If you're having trouble sleeping it's a natural sleep aid before bed for sure, too.


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## sensibly insensitive (Dec 20, 2009)

hahaha yes natural sleepaid FOR SURE!! imagine you were raised in a lumberjack family right near a forest and your dad walks in. He goes 'thats some great wood growin there'....... you know what's growing under your sheets but you have no idea that your dad was referring to the oak tree right outside your window


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## openedskittles (May 24, 2009)

sensibly insensitive said:


> hahaha yes natural sleepaid FOR SURE!! imagine you were raised in a lumberjack family right near a forest and your dad walks in. He goes 'thats some great wood growin there'....... you know what's growing under your sheets but you have no idea that your dad was referring to the oak tree right outside your window


Wait. Why would your wood start growing because/as your dad walked in?


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## openedskittles (May 24, 2009)

Sorry. Double posted somehow.


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## Ryu (Mar 19, 2010)

openedskittles said:


> Wait. Why would your wood start growing because/as your dad walked in?


:laughing:

or, lololololololol


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## Kevinaswell (May 6, 2009)

I loooovvveeeee morning wood.


"Good morning!"


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## rainface (Mar 11, 2010)

Ivan said:


> Lol, I would hate to menstrate every month for 30 some years and have to give birth to babies. I think men got the better end of the deal .
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Try telling that to some of my male friends. They are CONVINCED that men actually have it worse than women. Someone needs to smack them in the head. Seriously. Boo hoo that you wake up with morning wood and occasionally have issues in public. Cry me a river.


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## openedskittles (May 24, 2009)

rainface said:


> Try telling that to some of my male friends. They are CONVINCED that men actually have it worse than women. Someone needs to smack them in the head. Seriously. Boo hoo that you wake up with morning wood and occasionally have issues in public. Cry me a river.


You can't complain, either. You get boobs.


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## Lucem (Dec 2, 2009)

openedskittles said:


> You can't complain, either. You get boobs.


boobs can resolve any issue.


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## sensibly insensitive (Dec 20, 2009)

boob is god. god is boob.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Yeah, boobs good. Lol. Now break your hypnotic trance and continue on with descriptions about your suffering. You're killing my my own trance. :tongue:


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## sensibly insensitive (Dec 20, 2009)

Ah yes, our 'suffering'...the blight that plagues every adolescent males life on an almost daily basis. Sometimes it feels so tingly that you only need a few tugs hahaha and BOOOOOOM goes the dynamite....so sad (or good?)  shit thing is once it goes off, you just wanna sleeep again, then you're late for work coz you left as soon as peak hour traffic hit. Boss yells at you for being late. You go 'yeah well i had a fukn wank....TWICE! in 20mins...beat that you infertile 65yr old prick.' and off he goes for a durry (that's cigarette for anyone that was thinking wathefrak?!) to calm himself down. Dicks are cool. boobs are even better.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

OMG! So my ex was 50. He was never late for work and no wonder we had problems! This phenomenon is a youth thing? Okay. I'm starting to understand now.


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## sensibly insensitive (Dec 20, 2009)

Not really a youth thing. I'm sure (i fukn hope so, for my sake at least) that there are 50yr old men with this phenomenon!
maybe you just weren't that great in bed? :O :O :O


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## Lucem (Dec 2, 2009)

sensibly insensitive said:


> Not really a youth thing. I'm sure (i fukn hope so, for my sake at least) that there are 50yr old men with this phenomenon!
> maybe you just weren't that great in bed? :O :O :O


ahah!

Something worse than morning wood is "in the middle of day" wood or "just as you are about to make a speech" wood.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

sensibly insensitive said:


> Not really a youth thing. I'm sure (i fukn hope so, for my sake at least) that there are 50yr old men with this phenomenon!
> maybe you just weren't that great in bed? :O :O :O


Sir these are fighting words. Prepare to draw your sword or at least meet me off thread. Unless you are like under age or something. Humpf, I think my work is done here.


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## sensibly insensitive (Dec 20, 2009)

pinkrasputin said:


> Sir these are fighting words. Prepare to draw your sword or at least meet me off thread. Unless you are like under age or something. Humpf, I think my work is done here.


Nah I'm 22. I'll draw my long wooden sword and meet you off thread howabout that? I was busy having a shower tyvm. No aircon+strange weather in oz=random showers at 11:30 at night. Don't hurt me now mmkay? 
We shall continue this war some other time though. There's a lake across my house and no one around. SKINNYDIPPING WOOPWOOOP!! yes I will more than probably, definitly, have another shower once I'm done in the lake. roud:


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## sensibly insensitive (Dec 20, 2009)

Coffee Grinder said:


> ahah!
> 
> Something worse than morning wood is "in the middle of day" wood or "just as you are about to make a speech" wood.


or the 'oh shit it's a bumpy road, here comes woody' wood hahaha
ah wood. 
goodnight for now everybooby and woody


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## Lucem (Dec 2, 2009)

sensibly insensitive said:


> Nah I'm 22. I'll draw my long wooden sword and meet you off thread howabout that? I was busy having a shower tyvm. No aircon+strange weather in oz=random showers at 11:30 at night. Don't hurt me now mmkay?
> We shall continue this war some other time though. There's a lake across my house and no one around. SKINNYDIPPING WOOPWOOOP!! yes I will more than probably, definitly, have another shower once I'm done in the lake. roud:


room, you two need one.:laughing:


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## SeekJess (Nov 1, 2009)

One of my exs would always tell me that his "balls" would get stuck in his "boxers". I dunno why, but this was amusing to me. 


and by the way penis! is my favorite word...


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## Think (Mar 3, 2010)

SeekJess said:


> and by the way penis! is my favorite word...



I like you already.:wink:


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## sensibly insensitive (Dec 20, 2009)

Coffee Grinder said:


> room, you two need one.:laughing:


Need a plane ticket first :crying:


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

sensibly insensitive said:


> Need a plane ticket first :crying:


With all this morning wood, we should be able to build bridges


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## timeless (Mar 20, 2010)

Go to this site: Frankie J Prank Calls Home Depot, Prank Calls, Elvis Duran and the Z100 Morning Zoo, Frankie J, Sound Bite

"Morning wood, it's like the hardest wood they have"


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## sensibly insensitive (Dec 20, 2009)

pinkrasputin said:


> With all this morning wood, we should be able to build bridges


I really hope there's no light at the end of this tunnel :tongue:
Can ya gimme a hand supporting the wood all the way through to the other side?
This bridge leaks from the end from time to time, got anything to suck it all up?

Fuck I'm lame.:dry:


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

sensibly insensitive said:


> I really hope there's no light at the end of this tunnel :tongue:
> Can ya gimme a hand supporting the wood all the way through to the other side?


 Um I was the one who wanted crawl along the wood in order to get to the other side. 



> This bridge leaks from the end from time to time, got anything to suck it all up?


 Okay "wow" and "yum"...I want to tell all the girls who want you (and are not admittiing it) that they are stupid for not sucking it up. 



> Fuck I'm lame.:dry:


No, you're not lame. But I am unusually depressed at the moment. Perhaps we shall overcome by working together and coming up with a blueprint for the next glorious kingdom ?


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## Linesky (Dec 10, 2008)

Yes, I have the same problem. My penis wouldn't let me sleep peacefully. :sad:

I would suggest to switch your sex.


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## sensibly insensitive (Dec 20, 2009)

pinkrasputin said:


> Um I was the one who wanted crawl along the wood in order to get to the other side.
> 
> Okay "wow" and "yum"...I want to tell all the girls who want you (and are not admittiing it) that they are stupid for not sucking it up.
> 
> No, you're not lame. But I am unusually depressed at the moment. Perhaps we shall overcome by working together and coming up with a blueprint for the next glorious kingdom ?


You gotta help me grow the wood into a bridge then you can do whatever you want to get to the other side. Crawl, slip n slide, ride, play hide n seek, go around the bend, or just enjoy the view while you ride the great bridge you helped make!
My bridge is your ultimate, phantasmical road trip into the great divide that will choke your soul with euphoric bliss andddd I lost my train of thought just now..... I was thinking abotu what to say next but half my brain went thataway while the other half was waiting. Like as if I was driving a car and two wheels fell off..I've had 5hrs sleep,busy day at work, stuck in peak hour for 2hrs, no dinner, and had 4hrs training for my final  my mind needs ze rest

Yes, please tell the girls around me what they're missing out on. I feel oh sho loneleh :crying: Nah not really, got out of this weird fucked up relationship last week and loving life!

Yes I am up for this new glorious kingdom construction. First things first, we should meet up and plan the bridgework, then build the city around this great monument. Preferably in the morning, since the best wood is found in the morning.This thread is all about le morning wood.whatever makes you happy Pinky!

Cheer up Sunshine :laughing:


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## Think (Mar 3, 2010)

Mercurius said:


> Yes, I have the same problem. My penis wouldn't let me sleep peacefully. :sad:
> 
> I would suggest to switch your sex.



lol lol........


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## 480 (Jan 22, 2009)

Me and the little guy just aren't on speaking terms anymore. It's ok though... it's not like we had much to talk about anyway. It's hard to miss such short conversations. And he's such a softy! Totally spineless, refusing to stand up for himself, or on his own for that matter. Never one for lengthy intercourse, he would always quickly say what he came to say, and nothing more. Never able to go the distance in a good debate. Always falling short, and never measuring up to expectations. Always looking for a dark, dank cave to curl up and hide in. I tried to explain that running from your problems was never the answer... but he never listened... so yeah... we just don't speak to each other now. It's with a heavy heart and a head hung low I say:


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Grim said:


> Me and the little guy just aren't on speaking terms anymore.


I could speak to him for you?:wink:


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## 480 (Jan 22, 2009)

pinkrasputin said:


> I could speak to him for you?:wink:


If you'd like. I'd recommend waiting till after a meal, in case you have something stuck in your teeth and want it removed.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Grim said:


> If you'd like. I'd recommend waiting till after a meal, in case you have something stuck in your teeth and want it removed.


A dickpick? Interesting, must see. Sometimes food gets stuck far, far back in my mouth.


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## 480 (Jan 22, 2009)

pinkrasputin said:


> A dickpick? Interesting, must see. Sometimes food gets stuck far, far back in my mouth.


Oh, there's no way I could help you with anything back there. You'd need a much larger, more proper tool for a job like that. 

I'd recommend you get one of these beasts.


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## pinkrasputin (Apr 13, 2009)

Grim said:


> Oh, there's no way I could help you with anything back there. You'd need a much larger, more proper tool for a job like that.
> 
> I'd recommend you get one of these beasts.


Now THAT is some morning wood!

White flag. I don't think I can take you. :sad:


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## 480 (Jan 22, 2009)

pinkrasputin said:


> White flag. I don't think I can take you. :sad:



It's OK... I'm used to it. Besides I think my girlfriend would find you somewhat of a threat... isn't she the cutest?


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