# oops I was a jerk



## Raichu (Aug 24, 2012)

What do you do when you say something kind of insensitive, and then you regret it, and then somebody else tells you that what you said was funny and that whoever's feelings you hurt is just being a big baby?

I mean, it's awkward, because on the one hand, they're on my side. On the other hand, I don't actually agree with them, because looking back, it actually was a pretty mean comment.


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## drmiller100 (Dec 3, 2011)

do what you think is right.


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## Razare (Apr 21, 2009)

Apologize to the person you hurt, unless I suppose you were being intentionally honest. Then just say that, and that you didn't meant to hurt them with what you said.


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## SnowFairy (Nov 21, 2011)

I've been in that position a few times. I almost always try apologize right away if possible (unless I think that person deserved it, but those are very rare cases). 

If the others around you want to be jerks by discouraging you from doing the right thing, don't listen to them.


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## Raichu (Aug 24, 2012)

Apologizing feels like losing.


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## Pete The Lich (May 16, 2011)

Raichu said:


> Apologizing feels like losing.


_Not _apologizing feels like losing a friend


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## HunniHunni (Jan 7, 2013)

give them a hug~~(^_^)


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## JamesDowns (Sep 26, 2012)

Raichu said:


> Apologizing feels like losing.


Can I get an amen?

If you feel sorry then say sorry and if you don't feel sorry then don't say it. Don't try to lie and say sorry if you don't mean it. Just make sure it all makes sense in your head.


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## KSKatze (Nov 15, 2012)

I am actually on the other side of this. My friend said something very mean 1-2 months back and hasn't apologised. However, I heard from someone that she wants to apologise but can't. A few months on I still don't really trust her and i have distanced myself from her. 

The point is, apologise.


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## voicetrocity (Mar 31, 2012)

Just apologize. Don't let others comments on the situation dictate how you handle it. You, obviously, want to apologize, and even if the person the comment was directed at wasn't hurt, you shouldn't be in such confusion if apologizing was what you wanted to do. I mean,

_Person was hurt _*+* _You have feelings that make you want to apologize_* ='s *_Just do it._

Follow your gut.


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## Raichu (Aug 24, 2012)

*sigh* i mean i guess i know i should apologize, but gosh, there are very few things more painful than that
ughhhhhh
i mean, i hate apologies so much i even hate when others apologize to me >.<


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## voicetrocity (Mar 31, 2012)

Raichu said:


> *sigh* i mean i guess i know i should apologize, but gosh, there are very few things more painful than that
> ughhhhhh
> i mean, i hate apologies so much i even hate when others apologize to me >.<


Yeah, apologies do suck; but if they need to be said, they need to be said and dwelling on it isn't helping anyone (especially yourself, since you're posting about it- the situation is obviously eating at you in some way). Either resolve to do it or not and get the situation over with, you'll feel better.


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## SnowFairy (Nov 21, 2011)

Raichu said:


> Apologizing feels like losing.


I definitely agree with that...But sometimes you just have to give up a little bit of your own pride to make things right. It's not easy, but it is necessary.

And just imagine how bad you would feel if you ended up permanently damaging your friendship because you never apologized... I'm speaking from experience here. Trust me, it hurts way more apologizing ever could.


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## Falling Leaves (Aug 18, 2011)

Being a jerk: Everybody gets on once in awhile. 

I'd just quietly agree with the person in a non-committal way, and then apologize to the person I offended (if you care enough that is; if not, then I'm sure it will blow over). Confrontation avoided


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## Tater Tot (May 28, 2012)

I would apologize to the person I hurt (assuming I felt bad about it) and just not mention it to the person who supported it rofl


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## Roland Khan (May 10, 2009)

When you piss into the wind do you keep going, or do you change your stance and go *with *​the wind? The obvious choice is obvious.


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## Raichu (Aug 24, 2012)

Roland787 said:


> When you piss into the wind do you keep going, or do you change your stance and go *with *​the wind? The obvious choice is obvious.


uh yeah find a toilet


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## Roland Khan (May 10, 2009)

Raichu said:


> uh yeah find a toilet


Go in the direction that makes sense and brings you to clarity....apologize.


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## yet another intj (Feb 10, 2013)

Raichu said:


> Apologizing feels like losing.


Sometimes you have to lose on purpose to win people.


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## Death Persuades (Feb 17, 2012)

I usually try to avoid this, but if I do it and I realize I did it, I'd apologize as soon as I realized.


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