# Best (and Worst) Chat up lines Page



## abitsilly (Mar 4, 2010)

Your best, and worst pick up lines. lol I think we could have alot of fun.:wink:

Be unique, say yes.


----------



## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

I don't understand what you're asking for.


----------



## StandardLawyer (Dec 21, 2009)

^
Change the "Chat" to "Pick"


* - I like bananas, yes?
*


----------



## abitsilly (Mar 4, 2010)

Use a line you would try to pick up a chick?
And tell me some you don't like so much.
:happy:


----------



## abitsilly (Mar 4, 2010)

How do I change the thread line?


----------



## StandardLawyer (Dec 21, 2009)

abitsilly said:


> How do I change the thread line?


try to find the "edit" button from your first post.


- How do you like your eggs in the Morning, Fertilized?
- Are you the girl I did last night? Remember the clown?
- I'm Justin. I'm Just Incredible.


----------



## fiasco (Dec 25, 2009)

I think this one is pretty funny:
Why don't you just sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that comes up?


----------



## Penemue (Feb 23, 2010)

You like sleeping? OMG me too, we should do it together sometime
Oh so cheesy, but does get whoever tries it gets points for beng funny (even if it is lame):happy:


----------



## MNiS (Jan 30, 2010)

These are all fantastic! :crazy:


----------



## agokcen (Jan 3, 2010)

_I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves._
_...I wish I was your *second* derivative so I could investigate your concavities._
_Hey, baby - what's your sine?_
_I don't know if you're in my range, but I'd sure like to take you back to my domain._

Basically, I'm obsessed with math-related pickup lines. If a guy ever used one on me in real life, I'd pretty much marry him on the spot. Just saying.

...also, if I ever end up proposing to someone, I shall do so via math-related haiku (another obsession of mine):

_Darling, you and I_
_Are the cosine of two-pi;_
_Be forever mine!_


----------



## Penemue (Feb 23, 2010)

To Agokcen, i think your pic makes a fine pick-up line 
*sigh* pick up lines nowadays are so awful. Whatever happened to good old cheesy, like in black and white films?


----------



## fiasco (Dec 25, 2009)

agokcen said:


> _I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves._
> _...I wish I was your *second* derivative so I could investigate your concavities._
> _Hey, baby - what's your sine?_
> _I don't know if you're in my range, but I'd sure like to take you back to my domain._
> ...


This reminds me of Kumar Patel's "The Square Root of 3":

I fear that I will always be A lonely number like root three 
A three is all that's good and right, Why must my three keep out of sight?
Beneath the vicious square root sign, I wish instead I were a nine 
For nine could thwart this evil trick, with just some quick arithmetic
I know I'll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality -- When hark! What is this I see, Another square root of a three
As quietly co-waltzing by, Together now we multiply 
To form a number we prefer, Rejoicing as an integer
We break free from our mortal bonds, And with a wave of magic wands 
Our square root signs become unglued
And love for me has been renewed.

Haha.


----------



## agokcen (Jan 3, 2010)

fiasco said:


> This reminds me of Kumar Patel's "The Square Root of 3":
> 
> I fear that I will always be A lonely number like root three
> A three is all that's good and right, Why must my three keep out of sight?
> ...


It makes sense that the stuff I said would remind you of that, because it's pretty much my favorite thing ever...:happy:


----------



## Solace (Jan 12, 2010)

@agokcen: You really should give credit where it's due. Randall Munroe is a genius.

Not really pick-up lines, but more from XKCD.com:








^ On second thought, I've probably used a chemistry equation as a silly Valentine's Day card. Not sure if that counts.








_Source: XKCD.com_


----------



## agokcen (Jan 3, 2010)

Spades said:


> @agokcen: You really should give credit where it's due. Randall Munroe is a genius.
> 
> Not really pick-up lines, but more from XKCD.com:
> 
> ...


 
Yes, yes, and YES!


----------



## NinjaSwan (Nov 21, 2009)

Those XKCD ones brought a tear to my eye.

"heyyyyy baby. Do you know what a polar jumping up and down does?

No?

_It breaks the ice._"


----------



## StandardLawyer (Dec 21, 2009)

- I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
- I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
- Nice fucking weather. Want to?
- If I was a chipmunk, and you were a bunny,...wait, or was it the other way around...forget it, Wanna screw?
- Ahoy there fair maiden, might I trouble thee for a fisting?
- I'm going to fuck myself until I'm unconscious. Want to help?


----------



## Drake (Oct 31, 2009)

Wow nice shoes, want to fuck?


----------



## Solace (Jan 12, 2010)

"Girls have to look a certain way to turn me on and you look just desperate enough to me."

"Do you like giving blowjobs as much as I like receiving them?"


----------



## KateAusten (Feb 6, 2010)

Worst pickup line used on me:
"My wife and I have a very open relationship."

Suuuuurrrrrre you do, dirty old man in a bar.

"I like you, let's get naked" -- that one is not great either. 

Best pickup-XKCD:


----------



## SeekJess (Nov 1, 2009)

I'm a ninja at the mastabatory arts.


----------



## beth x (Mar 4, 2010)

the worse one said to me.... as he came up from behind and lightly ran a finger up my neck

"you have the loveliest neck I have ever seen" *shudder*


----------



## agokcen (Jan 3, 2010)

bethdeth said:


> the worse one said to me.... as he came up from behind and lightly ran a finger up my neck
> 
> "you have the loveliest neck I have ever seen" *shudder*


Oh, dear! That is majorly creepy...


----------



## Everyday Ghoul (Aug 4, 2009)

Hey baby, wanna go halves on a bastard?


----------



## Robatix (Mar 26, 2009)

SeekJess said:


> I'm a ninja at the mastabatory arts.


Is that what the hand gesture in your avatar is alluding to?




bethdeth said:


> the worse one said to me.... as he came up from behind and lightly ran a finger up my neck
> 
> "you have the loveliest neck I have ever seen" *shudder*


It could've been worse. He could've been dressed like this:


----------



## lantern (Feb 15, 2010)

"Hey, you should come over to my place, we'll have a few drinks and chat. I live with my cousin who's a she, so don't worry I'm safe"

"Hi, I'm (name)...I just had to come over and tell you how beautiful you are" (oh vomit, he just had to say it right in front of EVERYONE I was sitting with as well) - *cringe*


----------



## Rouge (Sep 6, 2009)

YouTube - Suck me beautiful !!


----------



## DarklyValentine (Mar 4, 2010)

I have slippers

*wicked concedes that one to being a shot known as rather long
Tis all in the delivery :crazy:

_Flutters eyelashes and totters of back to the naughty corner_


----------



## baent (Nov 18, 2009)

You must have fallen from heaven. That would explain how you messed up your face.


----------



## Solace (Jan 12, 2010)

"Tickle your ass with a feather."

Context:
This guy sits at a bar, shaking his head in disbelief, watching this other guy who keeps disappearing into the back room with girl after girl after girl...
Finally, he gets up the nerve to ask the other guy: "Hey man, what's your secret?"
The other guy says: "Watch and learn."
A girl walks by and the other guy says: "Hey. Tickle your ass with a feather."
The girl says: "What?!"
The guy smiles and says: "I said 'It's particularly nasty weather.' Jeez. What'd you think I said?"
The girl storms off angrily, but another girl walks by.
The same guy says: "Tickle your ass with a feather."
Girl says: "Hah. WTF? Why not? Let's go!"
The two disappear for a few minutes into the back room and the lonely guy can't believe his eyes. He thanks his teacher when he returns, and proceeds to drink for the next few hours, hoping to gain enough liquid courage to close the deal... Finally, the time arrives...
Another girl walks by.
Guy says: "Hey! Hey you!"
Girl says: "What?!?"
Guy says: "Stick a feather up your ass!"
Girl says: "WHAT?!!"
The guy quickly says: "It's fucking raining!"


----------



## NinjaSwan (Nov 21, 2009)

Why don't you come sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up.

:wink:


----------



## Inky (Dec 2, 2008)

agokcen said:


> _I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves._
> _...I wish I was your *second* derivative so I could investigate your concavities._
> _Hey, baby - what's your sine?_
> _I don't know if you're in my range, but I'd sure like to take you back to my domain._
> ...


Hahaha! I have one:

If you were cosine curve, I would be sine curve so together we will be one!

Some lame/cliched ones:
Are you tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day.
Do you like raisins? How about a date?
Check your pockets. Because I think you've stolen my heart.


----------



## Gracie (Dec 13, 2009)

I've heard a fair few in my day... generally bad ones. Irish men really aren't so good at the whole "romance" thing...:crazy:

The worst I ever got, though, was some guy in a pub in town once, sidled up to me _reeking_ of alcohol, and goes:

Randomer: "Howyeh luv... listen, what's the difference... between an _erection_, and a Ferrari...?"

Me (hesitant): "Erm... what?"

Randomer (leans in close and whispers): "I don't have... a Ferrari"

I shudder at the mere memory.


----------



## openedskittles (May 24, 2009)

If I could, I would rearrange the alphabet so U and I could be together.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only 10 I see!


----------



## Narrator (Oct 11, 2009)

I'm on a mass debating team, want to come to the next session :wink:?


----------



## timeless (Mar 20, 2010)

"I will probably begin with a very classy first line... something like: say, sweet thing, can I buy you a fish sandwich?" - Leon Phelps


----------



## NotSoRighteousRob (Jan 1, 2010)

Lets call you homework and we can work on adding me plus you to see what it equals

If your name was homework, I would be doing you on my desk right now.


----------



## Solace (Jan 12, 2010)

"Want to play Pearl Harbor? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell out of me."

"I'd marry your cat just to get into your family."

"Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package."


----------



## Razvan (Dec 17, 2009)

Spades said:


> "Want to play Pearl Harbor? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell out of me."
> 
> "I'd marry your cat just to get into your family."
> 
> "Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package."


And did any of these ever work? ( I have some serious doubts)...it would be interesting for everybody when posting to actually say how many times it worked.:happy:


----------



## Primus (Mar 22, 2010)

haha some of these are hilarious, i like the math ones, one of my favorite comedians does a whole stint on them, i got one

"baby lets do some math, lets subtract those clothes, add a bed, divide your legs and pray we don't multiply"

and heres a sad line "excuse me miss but do you have a quarter? i dont have a cellphone and i promised my mother id call her when i fell in love"

heres one that actually worked for my friend, he got the girl and has been with her for almost 3 years...i s**t you not.

"how about youuuuuuu sucky sucky me long time?"

"i like your dress, wanna see what it looks like on my floor?"


----------



## thisisme (Apr 11, 2010)

Razvan said:


> And it seems that you actually liked that...wow...:shocked:I don't know, but if I was you, I would slapped him or kicked him in the balls...


umm...yeah. i would be thoroughly pissed....but i wouldn't have put my hand in his pocket either...girlie!!


----------



## Aqualung (Nov 21, 2009)

I once told a girl "Pleased to meat you" but she just said "Pleased to meet you too" like nothing happened so I don't use it anymore.


----------



## RomanticRealist (Mar 26, 2010)

Aqualung said:


> I once told a girl "Pleased to meat you" but she just said "Pleased to meet you too" like nothing happened so I don't use it anymore.


perhaps this one will work better:

(when you first meet someone)

"Oh we haven't been properly seduced yet. My name is ..."

See if she catches the slip and wink if she does.


----------



## Cthulhu (Feb 24, 2010)

Dooraven said:


> I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down.


hahaha, thats awesome.


----------



## bionic (Mar 29, 2010)

This one guy asked me if I liked sushi. I said no and then he was like "Damn, you look like a girl who needs an sufficient amount of Omega-3s inside you right now". Then I said "Fortunately I am allergic... especially to any Omega-3s that come out of phallic objects".


----------



## Dooraven (Dec 9, 2009)

Baby, you got me so hot you're denaturing my enzymes. 
If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?
You must be auxin, because you’re causing me to have rapid stem elongation.
Will a little more alcohol catalyze this reaction?


----------

