# 𝗛𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗕𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗜𝗻 𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲� 𝗜𝗳 𝗦𝗼 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗠𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀�



## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

X10E8Y65M56 said:


> ��


If I'm honest, twice. The first one crashed and burned because we were too young; we were just beginning to figure ourselves out as adults. The second time was with my future ex wife. We were both 25 and we met in college (this was 1995) I was fresh from the Navy, and she was working on her masters. We got engaged about 18 months after we first started dating. We finally got married in 1999 and divorced in 2015. I sincerely hope I get another chance to love again.


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## ImminentThunder (May 15, 2011)

If we’re assuming reciprocity, that would change my answer. But since that wasn’t specified, I’ll assume this is referring to falling for someone regardless of reciprocation. 

The answer would be: many times. Too many to count. In elementary, middle, and high school, I always had a crush on at least someone, and almost every time I was completely convinced she was “the one”. In retrospect, how embarrassing :’) Only one time did I get reciprocation, but she quickly lost interest in me when my poor conversational skills came to the surface. Well, there were a few other times, but these were more like flirtations that weren’t going anywhere and everyone knew it. They were fun though. As a disclaimer, I would often long from a distance without actually trying to get to know the person, which was just me being a shy kid I guess. 

But the last girl I crushed on in high school (senior year) kind of broke me. I would only get brief crushes after that, or attractions to people who weren’t available. The further I got into college, the less I started falling for people. The yearning to find the right person remained, but I stopped feeling much for anyone a few years ago. Could just be due to working in a male-dominated field, and only having a few regular points of social contact. For a long time I could only fall for people who reminded me of her. Thankfully, over the course of many years, that finally faded. 

I miss that feeling, of falling for someone. But, sometimes it is just too much.


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## Allostasis (Feb 2, 2021)

No.


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## 558663 (Aug 9, 2020)

Never. I've had crushes but I wouldn't equate those to being in love.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

Allostasis said:


> No.



Are you open to the possibility of falling in love?


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## Allostasis (Feb 2, 2021)

tanstaafl28 said:


> Are you open to the possibility of falling in love?


Yeah, why not. It is not like I actively suppress my feelings.


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## sandras (Jul 8, 2018)

Love is not subject that I like to talk about. (I am an Aquarian/ESTJ)


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## Allostasis (Feb 2, 2021)

Allostasis said:


> No.


Outdated answer.


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## Penny (Mar 24, 2016)

twice. the first time we got married because we had kids. the second we didnt get married because my parents didnt approve. (thank goodness we didnt get married though i did say yes)


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## SixtyNinetales (12 mo ago)

I have only ever fallen into romantic love one time, which isn't specified in the poll.


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## Zster (Mar 7, 2011)

Twice: my HS/college bf and my late husband (m 20y).


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## WickerDeer (Aug 1, 2012)

I'm not sure how useful the concept of being "in love" is to me. But this is what I've come up with when reflecting on it:

I try to be loving in a way that can help, as much as possible and reasonable. So that might be helping an elderly stranger reach something on the top shelf at a grocery store, or being kind to an animal, or trying to be the best I can be for a child I work with.

I am never capable of being perfectly loving or whatever, so I just try the best I can.

Sometimes other people reciprocate, or they act in more loving ways than I have towards anyone. So...I think it's more useful to focus on how I can try to be and perhaps also be grateful for how other people try to be. And to try to improve as well.


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## Musical Tree Person (10 mo ago)

Twice:
Once with an idea,
Once again with a person...
The idea I regret, the person I miss


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## Hexigoon (Mar 12, 2018)

A couple times. Feels a little strange not feeling love anymore. It used to be quite a prominent emotion.


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## tanstaafl28 (Sep 10, 2012)

I believe I am falling for #3 at this time.


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## shameless (Apr 21, 2014)

Three: 

A boy in highschool (puppy love)

My ex husband

My ex girlfriend, although I know now that I was in love with more of a facade now than her. But regardless I still felt it, even if I was misguided.


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## Antiparticle (Jan 8, 2013)

I think only 1 time, but one part of this love was unconscious over longer time-period, and the effect was it was shared with another person, who was in this period with me (a partner). This partner concluded I don’t love him, at that time I couldn’t understand why, but now I understand that feelings are “tied” to a person, so obviously it wasn’t him, although I wanted to love this person. I think over time it would/could happen, but the question remains if it would be good for us and for me.

So, it is possible that we can only love 1 time?


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

Antiparticle said:


> I think only 1 time, but one part of this love was unconscious over longer time-period, and the effect was it was shared with another person, who was in this period with me (a partner). This partner concluded I don’t love him, at that time I couldn’t understand why, but now I understand that feelings are “tied” to a person, so obviously it wasn’t him, although I wanted to love this person. I think over time it would/could happen, but the question remains if it would be good for us and for me.
> 
> So, it is possible that we can only love 1 time?


I was told you get 3 loves and the 3rd is the easiest. I've been through 2, waiting on my 3rd...


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## Antiparticle (Jan 8, 2013)

Purrfessor said:


> I was told you get 3 loves and the 3rd is the easiest. I've been through 2, waiting on my 3rd...





Purrfessor said:


> I was told you get 3 loves and the 3rd is the easiest. I've been through 2, waiting on my 3rd...


What happens the 4th time according to this theory?


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

Antiparticle said:


> What happens the 4th time according to this theory?


Maybe the 4th is like the 3rd? Just a guess


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## Antiparticle (Jan 8, 2013)

Purrfessor said:


> Maybe the 4th is like the 3rd? Just a guess


What part is the same/similar? Feelings towards the other person, or their feelings towards you? Or the person is similar (cannot be the same)?


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

Antiparticle said:


> What part is the same/similar? Feelings towards the other person, or their feelings towards you? Or the person is similar (cannot be the same)?


I really don't know. For all I know there is no such thing as 4th love because after losing 3rd you quit investing in it.


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## TranscendingEnlightenment (7 mo ago)

No.


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## Antiparticle (Jan 8, 2013)

Purrfessor said:


> I really don't know. For all I know there is no such thing as 4th love because after losing 3rd you quit investing in it.


But how do we count? If someone loves us, or we love them, or both has to be at the same time?


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## Purrfessor (Jul 30, 2013)

Antiparticle said:


> But how do we count? If someone loves us, or we love them, or both has to be at the same time?


I'm talking "in love" not "love". "In love" is 2 people in synchronicity as if it's simply meant to be. A couple. A pair. Serendipity. Synchronicity. Awe.


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## Antiparticle (Jan 8, 2013)

Purrfessor said:


> I'm talking "in love" not "love". "In love" is 2 people in synchronicity as if it's simply meant to be. A couple. A pair. Serendipity. Synchronicity. Awe.


Ok, then I think I don't have 3.


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## Schizoid (Jan 31, 2015)

Only once.


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## Antiparticle (Jan 8, 2013)

Antiparticle said:


> Ok, then I think I don't have 3.


Or maybe it was 3.


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## Akiblue (4 mo ago)

Mines were more like a crush than love.


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## 98403942 (Feb 10, 2021)

About three fiddy.


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## CanaryBat (5 mo ago)

In love? Handful of times, and it takes me forever to recover.
This is different from loving someone, btw, although it involves loving someone. I wish I understood completely why it's such a crazy feeling, like, the craziest.
I think that some of my favorite times in life have been when I'm not in love. They're second only to the times when I've been in love.


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