# One day INFJ, the next INTJ. Help?



## ToiletWater13 (Jun 7, 2011)

Hi there! 

First of all, let me warn you that- while I read most of the other posts in here- I didn't read every single one of them in-depth. Sorry. 

So, before I go into my advice-giving spew, I'll explain a little bit to you. From what I've seen, plenty of INFJ's can be mis-typed as INTJ's, INTJ's can be mis-typed as INFJ's, and plenty of INFJ's I've spoken to mentioned that they were "surprised to find out that they were a 'J' type." There is significant over-lap with a lot of the types. For example, certain INFJ's might capitalize more on their 'Ti' function than on the other functions that are supposed to be dominant. The function lists provide a general over-view for each type, but not every single individual person within each category will have functions that line up exactly like that. I'm an INFJ, and my functions (as you can see from my signature) are Ni-Fe-Fi-Ti-Te-Si-Se-Ne (although I will probably be re-testing for that, it's been awhile and the test I used was updated). However, as an INFJ, the order is "supposed" to be Ni-Fe-Ti-Se. I'm still an INFJ, even according to that function test, I'm just not the stereotype model INFJ. 

Some INFJ's are more logical and academic than the model, some INTJ's are more willing to harmonize and empathize than the model. Perceivers can take on the Judger disposition. What's more, the "iNtuitive" and the "Perceiver" alike both live in a world of possibilities. In fact, when it comes to Ni, the more it directs itself inward (or 'introverts'), the more open-ended and broad-spectrum things become- which can leave a lot of INFJ's (such as myself) wondering if that last little letter wasn't some kind of mistake. Intuitives- as far as I can understand- are less likely to be extremely rigid about time-tables and schedules than Sensors, even where the 'J' function is indicated. For example, I'm an INFJ, and my mother is an ISTJ. She gets uppity over weird schedule things that wouldn't even bother me, and this happens frequently. If my sister's friend stays over late, that's fine as far as I'm concerned- I'll just make some extra for dinner. My mom has a cow and talks about that person's parents for the rest of the night, ranting about how disrespectful they are. When it comes to iNtuitives vs. Sensors, the 'J' and 'P' work a bit differently- most likely because of how differently we view things. Sensors prefer to think of things in terms of immediate, practical, and specific- whereas Intuitives prefer to think of things in terms of the future, universal generalities, and 'as a whole.' If you're an "N" type, try not to hold yourself to "S" standards; that can cause quite a bit of confusion ("I'm not as punctual as _____, but I'm more punctual than ______. How do I answer this question?!").

Another thing I want to express to you is this: sometimes, we learn about what we know- such as in science, when you learn about how each parent contributes to the embryo/baby; sometimes, we learn about what we don't know- such as why certain traits are chosen, why certain qualities skip a generation, etc. You could have just hit one of the weaknesses of the MBTI: not everyone has a very strong preference. I have a friend who is an ISFP, and she tested ESTJ on one of the tests I gave to her- one of the more accurate ones I've taken, actually. We discovered that she was an ISFP after I took a look at all of her percentages; all of them except her Sensing was below 10% preference. So, I had her read over the most detailed, in-depth ISFP portrait I could find, and she agreed with it almost completely. When it comes to certain tests, there can be a major flaw in that I vs. E, S vs. N, T vs. F, and J vs. P are all tested separately- rather than each personality type being tested as a whole. An ISFP can test as ESTJ purely because her level of preference is low and the test isn't detailed enough, in and of itself, to make up for the gaps. When it comes to you, it's possible that your T vs. F preference is low, so you could be either/or, depending on the day. 

From what I understood of your post, you seem fairly self-aware. It's possible that you are on some sort of journey of self-discovery (as is common with 'NF' types, but certainly not confined to them), or that you weren't trying to become self-aware and it happened as a by-product of something else. Whatever the case, I'm going to tell you what my family members have been saying to me since I was born: "You know too much for your own good!". Of course, I don't mean it literally; you can't really know yourself too well (in my opinion, anyways), however, knowledge can be a direct opposition to categorizing. If you embrace the knowledge that, psychologically speaking, human sexuality lies on a spectrum, and you learn a lot about that spectrum and the different shades of gray- you can have a hard time putting people into categories. "He walks like this, he must be gay; she wears these clothes, she must be a lesbian," will be less likely to occur if you accept the knowledge that this is not necessarily the case every time. In the same way, the more you know about yourself, the harder you will find it to put yourself in a category. Please bare in mind that the MBTI is only one of many tools, and that it's main function is to help us better understand ourselves and others. It's not to help us stuff ourselves into a box. Yes, we have these forums because people of similar types like to talk to each other, sometimes to gather information (I found a thread one day that questioned whether a person's personality has any tie with their sexuality. It didn't, but it's worth it to learn for someone who has questions), and relate to people of a similar mind-set. But if you find that you, like most people, "relate some with these people" and "also relate some with these people," then it's perfectly fine to enjoy that common ground without labels. There are plenty of different types who post in the INFJ threads who aren't INFJ's (mostly INTJ's and INFP's, but I've found some ENTP's and ENFJ's there as well) because parts of them relate to us, or because they like our threads. Don't worry, no one is going to be mad at you. :tongue:

Aside from trying to understand how 'one size doesn't fit all' with personality types- if you're very interested in finding out what you are, I'd suggest this: go backwards. If you're an INFJ, your opposite ("Shadow") will be an ESTP. If you're an INTJ, it will be ESFP. If you're an INFP, it will be ESTJ. If you're an INTP, it will be ESFJ. Find the one that sounds the least like you on a normal day, or the one who's behavior your more likely to exhibit when you're under great stress. In order to do that, you might want to look up 'INTJ under stress,' for example, to see what behaviors an INTJ will exhibit of the ESFP under great stress, and how much each one will apply to you. All of them will probably apply a little bit; just look for the one that makes lights go off in your head. If no lights come up, try to think of which attributes you would express more frequently and/or with more intensity. 

I didn't put your personality type here, but if you want my opinion, I personally think you're an INFJ with an appreciation for the 'T' side of life. If I'm off-point on something, please someone correct what I said- and I hope this helps you!


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## Jabberbroccoli (Mar 19, 2011)

Snowbird, everyone (the first poster, second asker, and third asker) are all INFJs. That's my view, it's not terribly complicated. Now, I shall go fulfill my interestingness with a rousing 3 hours on a plane. 


À bientôt!


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